Work Text:
160°: 𝑚𝑒𝑤 = Friction / Normal
Okay, so Shoka had totally screwed up.
Not for chewing out that dipshit at school. Yeah, Mr. Doi would give her some patronising little speech about not picking fights with losers, but that dweeb had totally deserved getting some sense smacked in.
But she hadn't wanted to get Rhyme or Fret or Rindo involved.
As much as she loved them, she would've necked herself if she'd had to 'explain herself' to other people who would've heard about what happened from the school gossip vine.
Which left Beat, who could sniff out her problems like a bloodhound, and Neku, the ultimate goody two-shoes who had fixed himself in like two weeks and expected everyone else to have that potential too.
No thanks.
So she'd asked Shiki and Nagi and whoever else was in Shibuya to grab some parfaits with her. Nagi could sniff out her problems too but never pried unless Shoka spoke up. And Shiki had enough tact that, having seen Shoka embarrassingly spill every spaghetti known to humankind and some only known to nutkinkind the first time she had met the two Gatto Nero designers who had literally saved her life, she wouldn't stick her nose somewhere that would leave Shoka flailing like a fangirl again.
She'd let Nagi and Shiki yammer on about whatever while she spooned parfait and listened.
The conversations ranged all over the place. Making pins, since Shiki designed them professionally while Nagi fumbled around with irons and enamel. Sugar delivery services, with how much Shiki liked practically any sweets while Nagi chose hers like a picky eater: nothing cold she'd have to hold by hand. Fashion, which Nagi wouldn't have understood if the month's trends had bitten her on the ass but which Shiki lived and breathed, Shibuya as her chosen battleground. Their love lives, which Shoka immediately turned her ears off for. Def Märch, where Nagi was all over her precious 'Lord Ishimoto', while Shiki had mostly lost interest in the band after its members changed.
Somehow, which really shouldn't have surprised Shoka, the conversation wound all the way to EleStra.
'Course sis would've brought it up. Hey, Shoka had to give credit where it was due: Nagi didn't thrust it into anyone's face. She'd only pulled out her phone to do a few daily quests or whatever while they talked. Shoka could get that. If a rare NEO Bahamut showed up in the middle of a date with Rindo, her Rinrin could wait a couple minutes while she chucked crystals at the rarity.
And 'course Shiki would've shown some interest in it. Shiki had this wide-open way of seeing everything in a different light or another point of view. She could get inspiration for Gatto Nero's next bespoke line from anywhere. They only released a handful of new designs every year, but those new designs dropped everyone's jaws.
The thing that had surprised Shoka?
"Oh, I've been meaning to talk toy ou about Elegant Strategy!"
"Y-you recognise the holy scripture, milady!?"
"I've played it!"
"How has this never come to light before...!?"
"Well, I guess that we don't talk together by ourselves that often. When we're with the whole group, we're usually talking about whatever activity we're doing, right? So I haven't had the chance. But it's nice to meet a fellow Elegant Strategist!"
"Hhwarhghk!"
Shoka stared into her parfait. The little globs of green and pink swirled around the bottom. Uh.
"Mmeryerygueh!?"
"Um, I probably don't play the game as religiously as you do. I just think the guys look cute, and it's nice to turn my brain off after a long day. It's relaxing. Sometimes I want to read or watch TV or something, but I like that Elegant Strategy keeps me a little more active. And I like it being on my phone, since I can turn it on whenever I'm waiting in line or on the subway, when I don't want to scroll Pinstagram. I want my inspiration to be organic—not taken from pinfluencers."
"Th-then, who is your b-b-bias...!?"
"My bias? What's that?"
"Ah! For me, 'tis the one and only—"
Duh. Sis must've heard everything that Shiki had said and seized on the only part that 'mattered': that Shiki found the guys cute.
But this hadn't been the part where Shoka had realised that she'd screwed up. Nah. Listening to Nagi blubber-sob through an explanation of Lord Tomonami's tortured soul, while Shiki politely engaged and offered some commentary of her own, didn't fall outside of her strike zone. She'd accompanied Fret and Nagi to enough EleStra pop-up shops and whatever that talks about Regent Mui, the Dream Opera, the Vermillion South, the quest for five billion different fancy upgrade ores, and whatever other words fell out of their mouths wouldn't faze her. It probably sounded like the same gibberish as her talking about the different properties of wind crystals versus earth crystals, or throwing carob nuts instead of zeio nuts at chocobos, or the intricacies of encounter requirements for the iron golem.
No. All that jabbering about game mechanics, or which guys they found cutest, or how much they'd sweated over gacha pulls, or how much they were looking forward to the totally 'tasteful' fanservice of the summer banners, or whatever didn't bother Shoka.
Except then the conversation turned to the freaking reason that Shoka had never gone to a FinFan convention, had never visited FinFanfiction dot net, had never even bothered reading the tie-in novels or watching the tie-in movies.
Ugh. Was she the only person who actually played video games for the gameplay?
Why did everyone care about the stupid shipping?
She really had screwed up.
"...which returns me to the original point. 'Tis quite obvious that the blessed heroine shall take His Radiance's hand in holy matrimony. 'Tis baked into the very premise. The celestial betrothal! The ambitious man and the virtuous woman initially have no romantic inclination towards one another. They enter a betrothal for the purposes of mutual cooperation...but lo and behold, over their many adventures together, they find themselves falling irresistibly towards one another! All the while, they remind themselves that they have only entered this betrothal for the sake of duty, when secretly they pine for one another's heat! Outwardly, they speak of one another's flaws and their upholding of obligations. Yet, inwardly, they cannot quell the rapid beating of their hearts...!"
"Oh, I know! That's definitely where the story's going. It's how most of these stories go, right? The guy does something dashing, and the girl is surprised and sees him as a man, and then they end up together."
"Merherhm, 'tis not quite what occurs with Lord Tomonami and the heroine. I suppose that this occurs in the beginning when His Lordship saves her from Lord Jonosuida's soldiers, and several times thereafter. But she saves him as many times, with her kindness and empathy, as well as her tactician's brilliance...!"
"They make a good pair! I like seeing them bonding together. But I wasn't asking about who you think is gonna end up together in the official story. I'm asking who you want to see together."
"I-I admit my perplexion. Have I not answered you?"
"Umm..."
"Were you...inquiring about fandom delusions?"
Shoka dragged her black hood over her face. It covered more of her head than her Mr. Mew hoodie, but somehow left her more bare. Still—it'd have to do.
"I c-certainly recognise that many fans enjoy partaking in such delusions, such as to envision alternative t-timelines. Certainly, EleStra s-s-supports a wide variety of alternative options. The heroine can choose to romance m-most of the cast, from Lord Boku to Lady Shini to Lord Kizusa. I shan't state that these fans are 'incorrect', for th-their preferences are deftly woven into the options presented by the gods themselves! Pray t-tell, who is y-y-your preferred romantic route, if not the true route?"
Maybe if she chucked herself out the window, neither Nagi nor Shiki would've noticed.
"Permit me to h-hypothesise. If you perceive the heroine as a self-insert, p-perchance, is it Lord Barasa that you have ch-chosen to romance? His orange locks, k-kind ways, and propensity to mask his t-t-true appearance may appeal to you...?"
"Umm...gosh, maybe we shouldn't talk about this."
"Have I let slip something ill-fated!?"
Yeah. Everything about this entire conversation.
"Pardon the intrusion! I sh-shall sooner slice off mine own t-t-tongue!"
"You don't have to do anything like that! I just think there's been a misunderstanding. Maybe we should talk about something else! Like the sweets, or the parfaits, or, um—"
"Have I...offended you? With my discussion of the t-true route? I simply meant to bare my heart to a kindred spirit..."
"Wait, Nagi. Gosh, I wasn't trying to let you down. We can keep talking about Elegant Strategy! I just don't know if you'd want to hear...?"
"I can steel my heart. You may speak earnestly to me. I shan't breathe a word to the Legendary One, either."
"Umm, what?"
"If...if you felt insecure regarding your choice, given that Lord Barasa most closely resembles the Legendary One...?"
"No, umm, I don't think that Neku would care. I mean it's a game, for one thing. And I think you have the wrong idea. Well, okay. Umm..."
"Yes...?"
"I haven't followed any of the romance routes with the MC."
"...the sigh of relief I have breathed! You could have said so at the discourse's inception! There are many who see Elegant Strategy not as a game of romance, but as a game of platonic bonding and found family. Lady Rhyme, for instance, has shared that she would played the game in that manner, had she continued. I see nothing wrong with—"
"Well, it's like..."
All the spaghetti that Shoka had spilled in front of Eri and Shiki the first time combined had weighed less than the kilos of awkwardness piling up around her.
"That's not true either. I do, um, like to see romance in it."
Sis's dead silence? Eye of the storm. Better batten down the hatches.
"It's just that, um, I think that Tomonami would look really cute with Jonosuida."
Even deader silence.
Deader than the Reapers' Game silence.
"Ah. I see. I would call him more 'handsome' rather than 'cute' when committing brutal violence 'gainst his archnemesis, or locked in deadly duels, blade clashing with blade, the heavens thundering—"
"Time-out, Nagi. I don't want any more misunderstandings. I like to look at art of Jono and Tomo kissing."
What if Shoka just gouged her own throat out with her spoon? And then, while she quietly bled out onto the table, she would finally know sweet release.
"Um, I like the idea of two people who don't like each other at first becoming lovers. Tomonami and Jonosuida are mortal enemies, like you said. And that's what makes their romance exciting. Kemi and Tomonami are already on the same side, right? They're betrothed from the beginning. So, um, it's not as interesting? It's more interesting if there's some conflict. I like it when the characters are on opposite sides, and they have to fight their loyalty and how much they want to get together. Like, umm, 'I hate him and he's an enemy of the state but he's kinda hot', you know?"
Shoka could've heard a parfait drop. Or a pin.
"Imagine a story where it starts with two childhood friends. They're really sweet on each other. I know some people like that. And sweethearts like that in real life is nice! I'd never want to be on the other side of a war from Neku or Eri, ever."
Hey, had everyone else in Udagawa Parfait gone silent or what? Anybody out there? Hellooooo?
"But if I'm reading a story about things that couldn't ever happen in real life, wouldn't it more interesting if they weren't childhood friends? Like, umm, imagine if the Game were an actual game! You could have the two partners who forged a pact end up in a relationship. That's what happened with me and Neku, right? And I wouldn't have it any other way. But wouldn't it be more fun, in a game, if a Player ended up having a crush on a Reaper?"
Yeah. Definitely considering that gouging out tactic. Not like she or Rinrin had actually told Shiki everything that'd happened. Neku hadn't even been there for most of it. And Shoka hadn't exactly spilled her life story to the woman who had saved her life with a fashion brand—and was presently doing the opposite.
"Then the Reaper has to pick between his loyalty to the Reapers, or to the Player he can't stop thinking about. And the Player has to pick between his loyalty to his partner and the Reaper who he keeps bumping into."
The woman who saved and ended the life of Sakurane Shoka.
"Just imagine it! The Reaper gets between the Player and some other Reapers who were going to erase him. He has to come up with an excuse for why he didn't let the Player get erased. Or the Reaper is supposed to have a mission to erase the Player, but spares him instead! And the Player is left tortured thinking about why the Reaper's behaving like this. It can't be because the Reaper likes him. Is the Reaper toying with him...?"
When all this ended, Shoka would take a pair of scissors, carefully cut out this entire conversation, folded it up, and stick it deep in the shoebox labelled Never Meet Your Heroes, Kid.
"Isn't that romantic? And there has to be a big scene at the end where the Reaper finally confesses to him. And, um, maybe they can't be together! So the Reaper sacrifices himself for the Player, and they kiss right before the Reaper fades away. I'd never want that to happen in real life but wouldn't it make it an amazing story?"
Wouldn't it make an amazing story.
"And, also, like I was saying, umm, I think the guys are cute. You asked me who my, umm, what was the word? My 'based' was? I guess my 'based' is both Jonosuida and Tomonami. I know Jonosuida does all these awful things, but it's fiction! I would hate him in real life! But in the story, he's interesting to read about! You understand, right? Tomo's done all kinds of awful things too, but you still like him. And I know I'm not the best at math, but two cute guys are better than one cute guy. So I like seeing them together."
On one hand, maybe Shoka would've had a better day if she hadn't stepped into Udagawa Parfait at all.
"Gosh, Nagi, are you okay? You've been really quiet."
On the other hand, she was getting a truly unique experience, one that not even the 'legendary' Neku could have laid claim to: cringing at her idol.
"That's why I was trying to be polite and not say so much."
"I...comprehend..."
Nope. Shoka wouldn't even spare Nagi a glance. She would fix her gaze on her parfait and not on the shortcircuiting and glitching sparks in the vague shape of her friend.
"...I wish you the utmost of luck, Lady Shiki, in fighting the insecurities and self-hatred which plagues you..."
"Huh?"
"Have you heard of Sir Kaie's fortunetelling app? You may find it useful on your road towards healing and recovery."
"Nagi, are you sure you're okay?"
"'Tis an affliction that you can best, Lady Shiki."
"Shoka, is she okay?"
"I speak of your...your..."
"My...?"
"...your hatred of women."
"What?"
"'Tis quite common in fandom, and nothing to be ashamed of. They who only cast their gazes 'pon the male characters of EleStra, in endless carousels of various matings and pairings, because they cannot see themselves as worthy of love or respect, and so they project their feelings onto male characters instead...!"
"Um...are you taking this personally? I was saying that I only play Elegant Strategy casually. I'm sorry if I said something—"
"Personally? Nay! There are those who self-insert into the heroine, who named her after themselves. My savefile does not speak of a Lady Nagi, or even a Lady Naga or some other thinly veiled equivalent. My savefile uses the default, canonical name: Lady Kemi. I have no delusions here. If I desired a story different from that which the gods had writ in their holy tongue, I would seek a different story entirely, rather than attempt to impose my desires onto the tapestry that they weave!"
Cringing from both sides. A double-whammy of cringe. Getting cringed on at either end.
"But I beg of thee to consider the ills that plague you! Consider the female characters as worthy themselves! Do not cast them aside as mere props for your favoured romances, neither as supporters nor as adversaries!"
"Nagi, what? Why would I hate women? I'm a woman—"
"I suppose you have never walked amongst the fandom, for one cannot swing their arm without striking tens of women who profess to despising female characters with a passion."
"I mean—um—you're right that I don't know anything about 'the fans' other than art I see on Pinstagram—but I don't feel like people should be disturbing the peace—but anyway, I mean—is it because I think Jono and Tomo would be cute together? I don't think you're wrong for wanting Tomonami and Kemi to be together! I just think it's a little plain."
"You think me boring."
"I think the relationship is boring, but I'm not calling you boring for liking it. It's not a bad thing to like vanilla romance! There's a reason that that's the 'true route', because it's the most popular."
"And you mean to tell me that popularity equals plainness? The curséd bond betwixt between Lord Tomonami and Lord Jonosuida has its roves of adoring so-called fans. 'Tis the second most popular 'ship' in the fandom, dwarfed only by the faithful who adhere to His Radiance's courtship with Lady Kemi!"
"No! I just think it's more fun to think about people being on different sides! I mean, isn't Romeo and Juliet really popular for a reason?"
"Mmmergh!"
"Umm, Nagi. You really jumped to accusing me of hating women. Do you mind if I ask, umm, maybe...the reason you jumped to that...is because you don't like the idea of guys being together?"
"P-p-pardon the inquisition!?"
"I know some people who feel really strongly about this sort of thing. I don't think it's very healthy either. I know you said that you don't, um, 'self-insert'? Is that the word? But maybe you can only understand a relationship if you could see yourself in it? Or if it has someone that you feel similar to? Do you think that it's wrong to have a relationship between two guys?"
"Surely not! Never have I breathed a word 'gainst such pairings! And, a-as you stated yourself, the fictional realm and the un-fictional realm have a veil separating them! I would never speak poorly of a relationship between two lords in the un-fictional realm!"
"But you think that people who like them hate women. Nagi, I don't..."
"'Tis simply so common in the fandom, and especially so amongst worshippers of the dreaded TomoJono, or the even more dreaded JonoTomo...!"
"Wait, so it's not even about seeing cute guys together? You just don't like seeing Jono and Tomo together? And what's wrong with JonoTomo? Look, I get that Tomonami is taller, so most people think it should be TomoJono, but doesn't that make it more exciting when people draw JonoTomo instead?"
"Hrreuuurugh! You claim to know little of 'the fandom', yet you know the difference betwixt JonoTomo and TomoJono, curséd be their names!?"
"I just know what the fanart is tagged as on Pinstagram!"
"What do you even see in these? A mere projection of tropes that you enjoy, with two characters whom you find attractive!?"
"What's wrong with that? I don't have all the units, so I haven't seen all the events. I don't need to know the story by heart to fave some art of Jonosuida and Tomonami meeting at a teahouse."
"A teahouse! A teahouse AU! The gods write their tears, sweat, and blood into each and every private event, and you sigh longingly over a teahouse AU!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!? Hwkagkagh!"
"I think it takes a lot of imagination to make something new! When Eri and I make new Gatto Nero designs together and release them, and I see people mixing and matching things on the street, or tailoring the clothes in ways I hadn't expected, I don't get upset that they're doing something 'bad' to the effort I put in. They're taking what Eri and I made, and they're putting their own spin on it. I love it!"
"'Tis untrue!"
"Sorry?"
"I have heard you growling at the Legendary One to cease such unfashionable mixing of Jupiter of the Monkey with Gatto Nero at once! Whence is your 'Imagination' then, if you do not see his as something which you 'love'...!?"
"Um...there are limits. I love almost everything that people do with Gatto nero. But Jupiter of the Monkey is a little too far..."
"And how do you know that your precious teahouse AU, ignoring the utter lack of chemistry betwixt the characters, is not 'too far' for the gods of EleStra?"
"If I saw a stranger walking down the street mixing Gatto Nero with Jupiter of the Monkey, I wouldn't stop them and yell at them."
"Yet you would do that for the Legendary One?"
"That's because he's my fiancé. I can talk to him like that. I can talk to Eri like that too—"
"Then 'tis bothersome to you, is it not? Even if you would bite your tongue in public for fear of 'disturbing the peace', as you said, 'tis bothersome for you to see the work you poured such time and effort into disrupted with the addition of such wretched athleisure."
"I don't know. Maybe the world would be better for me if nobody mixed Gatto Nero and Jupiter of the Monkey."
"Mya-ha!"
"But, um, I don't think the world would be better overall."
"Myuh-hwuh!?"
"Isn't the world better because it has people who mix Gatto Nero and Jupiter of the Monkey? I like seeing fashionable people, but I'm sure that many people would see me and think that I'm not fashionable enough. Or think that I'm still shy or insecure about my image. I'm not. I don't feel the need to dress flashy because I'm secure. I can wear what I find comfortable and still like seeing fashionable people. The world's better for having people as fashionable as Shoka—by the way, I love the look you have on today, Shoka; you look so cute without your usual hoodie—"
The mixture of 'cringe' and 'elation from having her fashion sense complimented by her idol' wouldn't leave Shoka any time. It tasted like a piece of raw, bitter broccoli pressed in gourmet chocolate.
"The world's better for having people as unfashionable as you in it, too, Nagi. I think the world's better off having stories about Jono and Tomo stealing kisses at teahouses or after class—Nagi, are you okay? Were you choking? Okay—just like it's better off having stories about Tomonami and Kemi getting together after years and years of everyone knowing that they're going to get together."
"I...I..."
"Nagi?"
"Your Radiance, aid me in my time of need. This psychic d-damage is too great. I can f-feel my lifeforce ebbing away..."
"What's wrong?"
"I have steeled my heart 'gainst the sight of the heroine in the arms of others. I know that such pairings are acceptable within the canon. The heroine embraced by Lord Wasafu or Lady Nerasa does not plague me nearly so much, for I understand that she and His Lordship have such a pact, that their celestial betrothal is more pragma than eros, at least at the beginning! But the image of Lord Tomonami embraced by another...that...that is a betrayal I cannot begin to bear...!"
Shoka tried not to snort.
"I do not self-insert. I do not take umbrage with the options provided by the gods themselves. Those who wish to see the heroine dancing with the Divinity Ryu are not my kindred spirits, but neither are they my sworn enemies, for the gods themselves have written such a possibility. Even those who wish to see Lord Barasa dancing with the Divinity Ryu have hints and implications thrown at them, such that those who have...your tastes in romantic pairings...can amuse themselves even though Lord Barasa would also keep himself pure for the heroine...!"
Hiding her face behind the parfait glass to keep Nagi from spotting how hard she was rolling her eyes, Shoka let 'em roll. Not like her prior experiences had deterred Rindo.
"Y-yet the image of Lord Tomonami offering his embrace to any other...! It tears me to shreds! I would s-sooner perish! How it burns! Never in any of the texts, nor in any of the spin-off material, has His Radiance ever had eyes for another! Yes, the delusions persist in the fandom—even one of my confederates professes himself a TomoNera shipper, which I cannot abide—but His Lordship has never expressed interest in anyone but the heroine! Ere the heroine's arrival, he did not believe himself capable of romantic inclinations whatsoever! 'Twas the heroine who moved his heart, the heroine who was special and taught him that he could have his passions stirred!"
Oh. So it was one of those stories. The ones about the special snowflake woman who convinced the violent brooding man that he could have a soft side. Just like all those stories about the special snowflake men converting ice queens or whatever. Boring. Yawn.
"I can understand a great deal many preferences. I know the difference between the fictional realm and the un-fictional realm. If I encounter it in the wild, I pretend I do not see it."
"See what?"
"You dare me to invoke its name?"
"Nagi, I don't know what you're talking about."
"I speak of that horrid curse. The most foul power of all, capable of instantly felling any foe, of unleashing every debuff simultaneously...!"
"Um...sorry?"
"I speak of...I must hush as I say the word...NTR."
"NTR?"
"'Tis forbidden knowledge..."
Thankfully, Nagi lowered her voice to explain, meaning that Shoka could sink into blissful ignorance for a few seconds until the conversation sparked up again.
"If only you had chosen any other men on which to feast your eyes! Why must you have chosen His Radiance...!?"
"For the same reason you did, right? I think he's cute! He's intense. I'd never date someone like him in real life. But as a cute guy in a video game, he's very fun to fantasise about."
"You and I are not the same!"
"Oh."
"Hermehrm, 'tis true that I find him attractive! 'Tis true that I would n-not date someone such as himself in the un-fictional realm. 'Tis true that I fantasise about him solely as a fictional ch-character, for what I have in reality is many times sweeter than anything that I could have ever fantasised about in any video game!"
"Sounds like we're pretty similar, then."
"Yet I do not fantasise about him solely because he is attractive! I have memorised every quote of his! I have recreated his blades from scratch! I find his writing inspirational! I hear his words in my dreams! You ship His Lordship with his archnemesis because you perceive them as cute together! I see His Lordship's true and chosen romance with the heroine for all of the chemistry that they share, woven into the very wreaths of words from the gods! We are not the same!"
"I believe you. You play Elegant Strategy religiously. I think it's amazing that you care so much, Nagi. But the reason that you spent so much time reading all the words in the first place...isn't it because you thought he was cute?"
"I—is it the same!? If two people find the same person physically pleasing, which sparks up conversation, but one person sees them as a merely attractive object the entire time, whilst the other person begins to understand their idiosyncrasies and eccentricities, to see the human being whom they are beyond the shapely shell, is that the same? Two people may have the same appearance yet entirely different personalities. 'Tis true that I first paid attention to the man I love for his similarity to His Lordship. But 'twere his unique characteristics, infuriating and endearing in turn, which transitioned my feelings from simple dreaminess to a truth I could barely name. I hadn't thought myself capable of romantic love in 3D—not until he stirred such passions with me. I suppose I was Lord Tomonami, in the end."
"Um...I think I'd find that really cute if I didn't know who you were talking about. But it's cute in a vacuum, Nagi! Don't get me wrong!"
El em eff ay oh.
"I guess I had the opposite happen to me, sort of. My fiancé met me while I looked like someone else—someone most people would say is more attractive. He fell for my personality first and later saw what I looked like. I should ask him about that...I wonder how he sees it."
How did Rindo see it? He'd fallen for Swallow as a best friend and for Shoka as a Reaper that he'd chosen to have on his side as a Player, and later as a girl—as someone to date, to hold, to kiss. He hadn't figured out the obvious of Shoka and Swallow occupying the same physical space until long after his feelings had bubbled up, or so he'd told Shoka. So: personality? Looks? Didn't really matter to her. She'd liked the words long before she'd known they'd come from a fifteen-year-old in the world's most mismatched coat.
"For me, I guess, I don't know. I never saw myself with the kind of boy who wears Jupiter of the Monkey and styles his hair with so much hairgel I can't run my fingers through it. And his personality when we met...don't get me started."
Fret had flirted with her the first time they'd met. Rindo hadn't. But even though she'd snapped at him, provoked him, prodded him past the tipping point multiple times, he'd—he'd snapped back. She wouldn't have walked over a doormat. But he'd still helped her when she'd needed it. Because he'd figured it out, right? That she'd helped him.
"But he changed over the time that I knew him. And I changed, too. I think it was that changing together that made me see something new in him. And, you know, he's cute. Wearing Jupiter of the Monkey just gives me more of an excuse to take them off of him."
"Lady Sh-shiki—n-not in front of Lady Shoka—"
"I know. I think, just, that us changing together is what attracted me to him. He was my partner and is my partner. I guess that it's a lot like what happened with Eri. We've worked on so much together as partners for Gatto Nero. We've changed so much together. Side by side. Mmh..."
A second passed before it dawned on her that she could hear the other parfait-lovers' muted conversations. Shoka peeked around the glass's edge. Was it—
"But that's why I didn't want to tell you about what I ship in the first place, Nagi. I know what people like me are called. Fujoshi—rotten women. It's okay. I'm used to not saying anything about it."
"I-I hadn't meant anything of the sort! I am merely a yumejoshi. I carry and defend the dreams of readers like myself everywhere. But I meant no harm to you. BL remains incredibly popular, much more so than NL and certainly more so than GL. Ermerhm, I suppose that these terms do not have the most fortunate implications..."
"Something can be popular but still not really something you can talk about in public, even if you're confident in yourself. And I think we both know what other kinds of feelings we have that we can talk about even less than talking about which fictional characters we want to see kissing. I guess we've both been lucky, in a way, that our personal choices ended up the way they did. No...I don't think that's true, either. Hmm..."
The green and pink had melted by now. The remains of the parfait had turned a sort of splotchy lime-brownish hue. At least the conversation was coming to a—
"But, anyway, do you want to tell me about the chemistry between Tomo and Kemi? And do you like TomoKemi or KemiTomo? Or is there something else I don't know about?"
"Ah! A radiant question, with a radiant answer! Prepare thyself, for I—"
Shoka's palms stung from the table with how quickly she'd hoisted herself up. "Okay. I decided. You guys win. You want me to spill the beans? I'll spill them. But I'm gonna evaporate if I have to listen to three more seconds of romo gossip."
A pair of black eyes and a pair of brown eyes swivelled around towards her, as though they'd both just realised the cat didn't got her tongue after all.
"Yeah, hey, earth to you two. I've been here the whole time."
Nagi paled first. "Lady Shoka, y-y-y-you could have informed me that you would have p-preferred for us to host our rhetoric on a different topic...!"
Shiki smiled kindly. "We can talk about anything you like. We weren't trying to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm done with my parfait anyway."
The empty glass didn't even cool her fingertips anymore.
"And. Thanks. Both of you. For showing up out of nowhere when I asked you for a distraction. I had fun even if I was cringing. And you know what? I don't want to interrupt the two of you have the world's comfiest and cringiest discussion about who Tomo-whatever gets to shag."
Nagi's arms and words were flailing everywhere. Shiki didn't even have the decency to blush.
"But I think I needed this. Like, sitting here cringing and bored out of my mind listening to one of my closest friends and someone I idolise. It's good for me. Keeps me humble. Bet that the people I love cringe at the crap I pull too."
Maybe she couldn't equate shipping hot takes with pummelling dweebs into the sidewalk. But this wasn't an episode of My Little Chocobo: Friendship is Fantasy. She wasn't writing a letter with a moral lesson to royalty. She was just walking home and telling Mr. Doi that, yeah, they'd have to have a parent-teaching meeting. Again.
"So thanks. I'm outie."
"Lady Shoka."
She held the room temperature glass. Carefully. So that the tension that ridged mountains from her wrist to her knuckles didn't spiderweb the surface. "Yeah?"
"Do you truly desire departure, milady? Do you desire discussion? Do you desire distraction on a topic more pleasant to you?"
Shoka could've crossed her arms. Could've snipped. Could've said something about them not making themselves pleasant for her because she sure as hell wouldn't make herself pleasant for them.
"Shoka, I'm with Nagi on this one. You can leave if you're done with your parfait. You don't need our blessing to go! But if you want to stay, you don't have to spill any beans. I don't even know what you were talking about. You spill them, or we can talk about something else."
She could've dredged up so much sarcasm that they wouldn't have heard a single syllable above the din. Instead the words fell out: "Am I allowed to do that? Tell you guys to shut the freak up about EleStra and talk about something I want to hear about? Is it 'cuz you guys think there's something wrong? 'Cuz there isn't. I just wanted to eat a parfait."
"'Tis quite obvious that something has perturbed you, Lady Shoka—"
At least sis wouldn't lie about it.
"—yet my offer would stand the same regardless. I can speak of His Radiance's courtship with the heroine in many different opportunities. Yet I have fewer for your company. 'Tis not 'because' there is anything wrong, but rather because you are our ally."
...sis wouldn't lie about this, either. Much as Shoka had to force the truth out from behind gritted teeth.
"Gosh, we can talk about something you want to talk about. Or something you want to hear about, if you wanted to listen without having to say anything."
The seat must have risen to cradle her rear. No way had she sat down herself.
"Yeah, okay."
The parfait glass came down a little too hard on the wood. The fractures tickled her palm. She'd have to pony up the cash for a replacement. Least she could do for now: put her paws on the table where she could see them.
"Up to you guys to pick a topic. Just something interesting. Yeah, I know. Read my mind. Okay, I'll throw you a bone just so sis stops looking constipated: doing anything for the Tsukimi this year? Literally any topic other than EleStra shipping. Or any shipping. Please."
Her shoebox would want to know.
"Shoka! Nagi! Shiki! Sorry I'm late! My date with Coco ran long—what were you guys talking about?"
"Hark! Lady Tsugumi draws near!"
"Oh, Tsugumi! I haven't seen you in a while!"
"Hi! Shoka invited me out there—"
"'Tis the answer for the mystery of why she did not wear her typical hoodie—"
"What did I miss? I heard something about shipping and that game you guys like?"
"Ugh, you don't even know the half of it."
"Honestly, the game doesn't have enough cute girls in it for me to keep track of it. But I was trying to trip the flags for the woman you meet at Lake Ari...what was her name? Oh yes! I was trying to go down Nabata's route. She seemed so candid, but I wondered if there was more of a mystery to her...and I think Shira'a and Enama would look so cute together! You'd think the youkai princess and the girl trying to undo the celestial throne wouldn't get along, but I liked their scenes together. Oops, I hope I didn't derail the conversation! What do you guys think?"
"Lo! The fabled himejoshi! We have rolled a legendarily rare UR+, but at a most inopportune time!"
"Um, Tsugumi, we were actually just going to talk about Tsukimi—"
"Oh, I love moon viewings! Are you planning to go, Shoka?"
"Uh. Yeah. Maybe all that moonlight will bleach my brain, too."