Chapter Text
After their first match once everyone had returned from international break, and yet another win for Richmond, Sam had joyfully announced that Ola’s had been fully booked out for a team party to celebrate both the win and those who had played for their countries. Jamie thought that was very generous of Sam, given he’d been fucked over by not being called up himself, but Sam quickly dismissed any concerns and said he was just happy to be able to celebrate the wonderful achievements of his friends, because of course he did, because he’s Sam and he’s basically the best person ever.
The party is brilliant. Jamie’s belly is stuffed with delicious food and he’s not even annoyed that he’s not allowed to drink like everyone else because he’s still riding the high of having played for fucking England. No one on the team is getting super drunk, they're still in the middle of the season, but they’ve reached a point where they’re loose and a little rowdy, and Jamie is loving it. Hanging out with drunk people is always a bit hit and miss, but Jamie feels warm and safe with the team and it’s fucking hilarious watching them. He’s not sure whose idea it was but they’re now playing fuck marry kill, which is a perfect game for some light ribbing at each other’s choices. Jamie laughs along as Bumbercatch says he’d fuck Karl Marx and as Jan goes on a tirade justifying his choices, listing the pros and cons of each one. Then it comes round to Jamie’s turn.
‘Ok, Jamie. Fuck, marry, kill: Ted, Beard and Roy.’
‘Marry Roy, fuck Beard, kill Ted,’ Jamie replies instantly. They hadn’t even given him a hard one, the answer was so obvious he didn’t even need to think before responding. Except by the few gasps he hears and the way his teammates are staring at him, they don’t agree, which is dumb because that’s objectively the right answer.
‘You can’t kill Ted!’ Dani exclaims and the rest of the team murmur in agreement.
‘Look it’s not like I want to kill Ted!’ Jamie defends himself ‘but it’s either that or fuck him and I definitely aint fucking Ted that would just be fucking weird.’
‘What about marry?’ Colin pipes up.
‘Yes, Ted is clearly the best marriage candidate out of the three,’ Jan adds in his matter of fact way that makes it seem like everything he says is the objective truth – even though in this case Jamie is certain he is wrong.
‘Yeah have you tried his biscuits? Bet you’d get to have them all the time if you married him,’ Isaac says, receiving shouts of approval from the rest of the team.
‘Nah mate, Ted’s baking’s got nothing on Roy’s cooking,’ Jamie argues back. Sure Ted’s biscuits were nice and all but nothing beats a delicious and nutritionally approved Roy Kent meal. When he’s met with silence he thinks he’s made his point, but as he looks around he sees the team giving each other looks of confusion. ‘Come on you’re telling me none of you have tried Roy’s cooking?’ Because he’s absolutely certain if they had they’d all be agreeing with him.
‘Roy cooks for you?’ Sam asks with a slightly mischievous smile on his face.
‘Yeah after training. He cooks me these bangin’ omelettes for breakfast. Honestly I’d marry him just to have those omelettes every day for the rest of my life.’ The team all start talking at once and Jamie can’t make out a word they’re saying until suddenly they all fall silent. He looks up to see the cause, Roy walking up to the table, a beer in hand.
‘The fuck was all that about?’ Roy gives them all a glare, but mostly Jamie which isn’t fair because Jamie actually has no idea why the team had got so riled up. It’s Sam who eventually speaks.
‘Coach is it true that you make Jamie omelettes every morning?’ Roy shoots another glare at Jamie which again is not fair. Jamie hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true.
‘Yeah but only because that little prick can’t look after himself.’ Well that was fucking rude.
‘Oi, I can look after myself perfectly fine, you just said all my food was bland and flavourless which was actually fucking rude by the way. That was the stuff me mum would cook for me as a kid.’ Roy’s face falls and he actually looks properly guilty which is funny for a second but then Jamie starts to feel bad. ‘I was joking mate, it’s all good. I proper appreciate you cooking for me.’ Roy’s face sets into a frown.
‘Oi coach. Fuck, marry, kill: Ted, Beard, Jamie,’ Colin interrupts whatever weird turn the conversation had taken.
‘The fuck?’ Roy turns to stare at Colin.
‘We’re playing fuck, marry, kill. So what do you think?’
‘Hey why me?’ Jamie whines.
‘He can’t choose himself can he?’
‘Yeah but why not like Higgins or Trent, like the rest of the old man group. I mean I guess the answer would obviously be fuck Trent if he was in it, he’s got that fit hair and all, but you could stick Higgins in there.’ Jamie’s ramblings are ignored in favour of the rest of the team trying to persuade Roy to answer. After puppy dog eyes from both Dani and Sam Roy finally relents.
‘Fucking fine. Fuck Beard, kill Ted, marry Jamie.’ Jamie’s head snaps up to look at Roy and a smug grin spreads across his face, feeling vindicated that not only does Roy’s answer match his, but also that Roy would choose him to marry.
‘See I was right,’ he says, but is once again ignored as the team’s attention is on Roy.
‘You’d marry Jamie?’ Colin asks at the same time as Dani says ‘You’d kill Ted?’ with the same devastation as he’d said it to Jamie minutes earlier.
‘If I had to put up with Ted’s relentless fucking optimism and jokes all the time I’d end up fucking murdering him anyway and Beard’s too fucking weird. Jamie is the least annoying choice.’ Roy’s words are barely even a compliment, in fact most people would probably say they’re not a compliment in the slightest but Jamie can’t help but beam at them. Roy looks back at him with an exaggerated eyeroll but Jamie could see the corner of his mouth upturn slightly. Maybe the omelettes weren’t the only reason he chose marry for Roy, the idea of being the reason Roy Kent smiled every day was certainly rather appealing too.
‘Hey Jamie,’ Colin called, snapping him out of those thoughts. ‘Since you seemed to have so many opinions fuck, marry, kill: Trent, Higgins, Roy.’
‘Well I already said fuck Trent, then it would have to be marry Roy, kill Higgins.’ Again that gets him looks from the team.
‘Higgins is quite a good cook as well. His Christmas dinner was delicious,’ Sam says with a perfectly innocent smile on his face.
‘Nah Higgens aint got nothing on Roy sorry.’ Jamie shoots another smile at Roy who suddenly seems to be fascinated by something right on the other side of the room.
‘Coach, you’ve got to cook for us now since we’ve heard so much about how wonderful your food is,’ Isaac says followed by cheers from the team.
‘Fuck no!’ Roy scowls and walks away before anyone else can get a word in, leaving Jamie with a smug feeling of satisfaction knowing he’s the only one on the team Roy will cook for. That feeling, however, quickly falls away as he looks at the faces of his teammates and realises they are absolutely never going to let him live this down.
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Roy is glad for the excuse to walk away before he does something stupid and embarrassing like fucking smile or blush. There aren’t many people he’s cooked for, in fact the list is exactly four people long: his sister, Phoebe, Keeley and Jamie. The fact that Jamie makes that list should be somewhat baffling, except it makes a weird amount of sense, in the same way it made sense Jamie would be the one out of the three choices he was given that he’d rather marry. But that wasn’t the point, the point was that out of all the people he’d cooked for none had praised him like Jamie was. Sure they’d told him it was delicious and thanked him for cooking, but Jamie was boasting to the whole team about how great his food was, citing it as a reason to marry him. It had become obvious while he was dating Keeley that Roy liked to be appreciated, liked to be needed. It’s one of the reasons he and Keeley had decided not to try getting back together. She was a fiercely independent person, she didn’t need Roy there in the way he wanted to be. Jamie on the other hand seemed to have no qualms about accepting Roy’s attention. If anything he just came back and demanded more. It was making Roy feel all sorts of things that he didn’t really want to examine, not least the fact that his mind had just been comparing Jamie to his ex-girlfriend.
He quickly downs the rest of his beer and walks up to the bar and orders another. He feels someone walk up beside him and braces himself for it to be one of the team trying to annoy him into cooking for them, but when he turns around he sees Keeley smiling at him and feels a smile form on his face in return. It’s been nice, since he apologised to her and they decided to try being friends. He thought that it might hurt, having her in his life but not in the way she was before, but instead he’s found that aching he’s felt since he broke up with her has subsided and he really enjoys getting to just chat to her again without things being super awkward.
‘Seems like you caused quite a stir over there,’ she teases. He rolls his eyes and forms his face into a scowl, though he knows Keeley knows him well enough to know that it’s not real.
‘Jamie went and blagged about my cooking and now they all want some.’
‘Well I don’t blame them, you’re a great chef. I’ve really missed that ragu you made me.’
‘You should come over for dinner, I’ll make you some,’ he offers instantly and Keeley gives him a warm smile.
‘I’d love that.’ He feels a warmth in his chest and smiles back. She nudges his side. ‘So… you cook for Jamie then?’ She looks up at him with a teasing smile. He shrugs dismissively.
‘We train together. He needs a protein heavy breakfast afterwards so I cook.’ He’s not quite sure why he’s so defensive about his relationship with Jamie, he’s sure Keeley would be absolutely delighted to hear how much time they spend together. Or perhaps it was exactly that. It was bad enough that his sister had heard about it through Phoebe and teased him relentlessly, Keeley on top of that would be absolutely insufferable.
‘Well I’m glad the two of you are getting on better. I’m sure he really appreciates the help you give him.’ That causes a blush to rise on Roy’s cheeks, and that same feeling he’d downed his drink to avoid thinking about returns. Jamie does seem to appreciate him, doesn’t complain as Roy comes up with more and more outlandish training methods and pervades further and further into his life, to the point where they spend practically every spare minute together. He grunts and hopes that Keeley puts the red on his cheeks down to alcohol. It would be mortifying to be caught blushing over Jamie fucking Tartt.
He's saved, or perhaps the opposite, from having to confront that, by Jamie himself swaggering over and giving them both a bright smile.
‘Jamie! Hi,’ Keeley greets, returning his smile.
‘Keeley, grandad,’ Jamie says in return, giving a nod to each of them, then gets the attention of the bartender and orders a glass of water, earning a raised eyebrow from Keeley.
‘Not getting another drink?’ she asks.
‘Nah, not drinking at all actually. Got to be good for this one don’t I?’ He jabs a thumb towards Roy. Keeley now turns to Roy, with her eyebrows shooting up her forehead.
‘Training,’ he growls and shoots a glare at Jamie which he can admit isn’t exactly earned, Jamie hadn’t said anything untrue after all and he hadn’t even complained once about being on water all night.
‘Yeah and I gotta do what my husband says right? That’s one of those ancient laws from back in Roy’s time isn’t it?’ This time when Roy growls and glares at him it’s thoroughly earned. Keeley looks between the two of them like they’re some kind of puzzle.
‘We’re not married,’ Roy clarifies with an extra glare at Jamie, just in case that’s what Keeley’s thinking.
‘We chose to marry each other in fuck marry kill, that’s basically the same thing right?’ Jamie replies with a cheeky smile. Roy knows Jamie’s doing this to wind him up and reacting will only egg him on, but that doesn’t stop another growl coming out of him. Jamie’s face breaks into a wide satisfied smile and for some unknown reason Roy feels the corners of his own lips trying to twitch upwards. Keeley continues looking between them with fascination and Roy has to fight back the urge to growl at her too.
‘I’m going to go catch up with Ted and Beard. I’ll leave you two to… whatever this is,’ she says after a moment. ‘Roy, message me about dinner, yeah?’ Roy nods and watches her walk away, leaving just him and Jamie leaning against the bar.
‘So… you and Keeley..?’ Jamie inquires as soon as she’s out of earshot.
‘We’re friends,’ Roy says defensively, though he’s not sure why he feels the need to explain it to Jamie. ‘I… apologised to her and we decided to try being friends.’ Jamie nods.
‘So you’re not trying to get back together with her anymore?’
‘No.’ Roy’s not really sure where the change had happened, but sitting watching Jamie make his England debut, writing the one hundredth attempt at an apology letter for Keeley, he’d realised that he didn’t want to get back together anymore. He missed her but he no longer wanted things to go back to how they were before he fucked it all up. He could see that neither of them could really give the other what they needed. He wondered why Jamie was asking. Did he want to get back with Keeley? The idea of the two of them dating formed a pit in his stomach, though he knew that wasn’t fair. There was no reason Jamie shouldn’t date her. He was far from the arsehole he was when they first dated and he deserves someone good.
‘Cool, the Keeley Jones friendship experience is fucking mint, would definitely recommend.’ Jamie grins at him and that eases the pit in his stomach. They stand in a comfortable silence for a while as Roy drinks from his beer and Jamie his water.
‘I’m sorry,’ Roy interrupts the silence as he recalls their earlier conversation. Jamie looks at him, baffled. ‘About saying your food was bland and flavourless.’ Realisation passes over Jamie’s face, but he still has a slight frown.
‘I already told you it’s fine.’
‘I still shouldn’t have said it,’ Roy insists. Jamie looks at him thoughtfully.
‘Look, I know it’s not the most exciting food. We couldn’t really afford a lot and Mummy had to work late so she couldn’t make anything fancy. But I like it, it reminds me of home.’ Jamie isn’t meeting Roy’s eye, looking down and fidgeting with his hoodie. ‘Not that I don’t appreciate what you cook for me!’ he adds quickly. ‘It’s like eating a proper restaurant meal every breakfast, it’s mint. And umm… it’s nice that you put in the effort for me… or like for my performance or whatever.’ Roy feels more guilty than ever now. He gets it. He knows what it was like to grow up with little money and working parents, with meals being comprised of just the bare essentials. Even when he got up to Sunderland the cafeteria meals weren’t much better. As soon as he’d got money he’d vowed to never eat any of that shit again, but he could see how it would be different for Jamie. Roy didn’t exactly have the kind of love for his parents as Jamie did his mum. He sweeps over the last part of what Jamie said because if he thinks about that too hard it’s going to send him down some sort of spiral.
‘I’m glad you have that… things that remind you of home.’ Jamie hums in agreement and when he looks back at Roy there’s a small smile on his face. Not like the wide grin before, something softer, more private. Roy feels the inexplicable urge to reach out and stroke his thumb around the corners of it. His arms remain firmly planted at his side.
‘Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for cooking for me. I meant it when I said I’d marry you if it meant I could eat those omelettes every day for the rest of my life.’ Jamie’s tone is back to teasing, though there’s something in his voice that Roy can’t interpret. He almost wants to tell Jamie that he would happily make him omelettes every day, spend every morning with Jamie sitting on his kitchen counters rambling on about whatever’s on his mind. He doesn’t say it though. Instead he rolls his eyes and they stand in companionable silence until Jamie is swept off again by the team. Roy's glad he's not in Jamie's place as the whole team decends upon him, but Jamie looks totally at ease joking around with them and Roy feels a warmth grow in his chest as he watches.