Chapter Text
Koriand’r was perched at the edge of the hospital bed, watching intently as the team prepped for the baby that was going to be brought into the world.
A lone doctor and nurse flitted about the soon-to-be mother, checking and murmuring vitals in low voices. She watched them set up the stirrups, and throw on fresh pairs of gloves as the mother’s whimpers increased in intensity.
The nurse edged closer to the woman. “Should we call in the father…Ms. Roth?”
The woman shook her head, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth. “No, it’s just going to be me today.” Her dirty blonde hair was plastered to her forehead, a slight sheen of sweat pebbling above her eyebrows. Her eyes flew back open as thunder rumbled and a flash of lightning echoed outside of the window, promising a fierce storm.
The doctor had followed her gaze outside, fidgeting with restlessness. “Not much longer Ms. Roth.”
“Can I call you Angela? Is that alright?” the doctor added.
Angela nodded with a gasp, hand flying out as another contraction hit her.
“Then we can send you home safely with your new child soon, Angela.”
“Only heavens knows where this storm came from, it was perfectly sunny just yesterday,” the nurse grumbled, standing to attention by Angela's legs. “Now Angela, you start pushing as soon as you feel the urge to do so, okay?”
The baby had started crying instantly as the doctor picked her up, red-faced and tiny fists clenched. Angela lay on the bed, face riddled with pride and exhaustion.
“Congrats momma, she’s gorgeous,” the nurse had said, as she took the baby from the doctor's hands to weigh. She let out a small laugh. “Seems like Daddy’s genes are strong with this one.”
The baby had a small smattering of dark hair, and in the fluorescent light, it could almost be misconstrued as purple. “A healthy nine pounds. Would you like to hold her?” the nurse offered, ready to hand the newborn over. Angela nodded, immediately cradling the baby to her chest. The wind had picked up outside, and the rain had started to fall in heavy sheets, thunder crashing through the room.
“We’ll leave the two of you to get acquainted.”
The doctor and the nurse quietly walked out of the room, leaving Angela and her baby alone.
Koriand’r finally stood up and floated to the edge of the bed, intent on getting a proper glimpse at the baby’s face.
Angela was whispering, gazing down at her daughter. “Hi, little one. Welcome to the world.” She was stroking her daughter’s head gently, unaware of anything or anyone around her. The baby opened her eyes, and Angela gasped. “You have his eyes.”
Koriand’r peered over and took in the electric blue eyes of the baby, open wide and staring back at her mother.
“It’s going to be me and you forever, little one. My baby girl, my darling daughter, my Rachel.”
Oblivious to Koriand’r's presence, Angela didn’t move as she leaned over to place her hand over Rachel’s heart, bringing her mouth close to the baby’s ear.
“Welcome to the world Rachel, you and I may never meet in person, but I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” She brushed her hand over Rachel’s eyebrows, before straightening.
Koriand’r took a step back and vanished out of the room.
Rachel’s eyes followed her disappearing figure the entire time.
Returning to her garden, Koriand’r sat on her bench among the spruce trees, gazing out at the endless green fields beyond her. A perfect breeze fluttered about, birds chirping and bushes teeming with wildlife. She sat there, thinking of the miracles of human birth, the pieces of clay shaped into one of His greatest creations. What it would feel like to grow, and evolve in shape, thoughts and actions. What the idea of free will would be like.
After all, she was simply just created into existence. She wasn’t here one day and was suddenly here the next.
“Met a new charge, didn’t you?”
Komand’r stepped into her view, gracefully standing before her. Her long, deep purple braids were twisted over her shoulder, violet eyes appraising the woman before her.
Koriand’r nodded wistfully, broken out of her musings. “A beautiful baby girl. I can’t wait to follow her as she grows.”
Komand’r scoffed lightly. “Please, you’ll change your mind once she starts sinning,” she said, plucking an imaginary piece of lint off her gown.
“No matter what she does, some part of her will always remain beautiful to me,” Koriand’r replied.
“Yes, made in His image and all that, I get it,” Komand’r said, sitting down next to her. Koriand’r nudged Komand’r. “And you? Where were you just now?”
“One of my charges was going to die in a car crash. It wasn’t their time yet to be released to Him, so I willed him to take a different exit to work that day,” Komand’r shrugged.
A flash of jealousy stole through Koriand’r, but she tampered it down quickly. Ever since she came to be, Komand’r had always been by Koriand’r’s side. And while Komand’r had the chance to protect her humans across their lifetimes, Koriand’r wasn’t so lucky.
Hundreds, if not thousands of charges, all returned to Him early in their lifetimes. Koriand’r was helpless to her human’s inevitable fates, as once it was decreed by Him, she could do nothing to protect them from death.
Sometimes she wondered why she was chosen to be a guardian angel at all.
Komand’r had picked up on the silence.
“You will see one of your charges live their full life one day. You just have to be patient,” she offered gently.
Koriand’r simply nodded, and the two of them sat there in silence, taking in the landscape before them. The sky was a sea of nebulae and cosmic rays, and the grass was a luscious green, trees teeming with every sort of fruit a human could only imagine. Somewhere in this field was the tree that still held Eve’s half-eaten apple, although most angels stayed clear of it.
Some said that they felt Lucifer’s pull if they got too close.
Koriand’r always opted to stay away as well.
As the human years passed, Koriand'r continued to escort her charges back to Him, heart breaking slowly each time it was a child or a loved one viciously ripped from Earth before they even knew their time was due. Each time those souls would rage in their grave, cold, dark and damp, but when Koriand’r would make her presence known they would quiet down, often in awe. They would take her hand, as she prepared to lead them to their next path. Some were silent, glancing back at their grave periodically, mourning their last connection to the Earthly realm.
Often the little ones were the chattiest, full of questions.
“You were my guardian angel, weren’t you? My momma always said that I had one,” a girl had asked her once, curious.
She would always answer in kind.
“Yes, and now I must take you to your next, big world.”
For the ones that were destined for Heaven, it was easy for them to take her hand, as they ascended to the Heavens together.
She didn’t like to think much of the ones who were fated to end up elsewhere.
She always kept an eye on Rachel though. Her blue eyes would often flash in her mind, and Koriand’r would sometimes leave her other duties to go see her.
She had watched with worry as Angela fled with Rachel to a convent. But she had been there every step of the way, making sure Rachel arrived safely. Koriand’r never bothered asking questions, knowing that she would likely never receive any. All she had to do was make sure Rachel was safe.
After Angela’s death, she guided Melissa to the house where the family would spend the next couple of years, using her powers to ward away djinn and evil wanderers. Koriand’r wondered sometimes if it would ever make any of a difference.
Rachel, blowing out candles on her fifth birthday. Getting dressed for the first day of school. She once had to will Rachel to step back from touching her wandering palms to a hot stove.
Rachel, opening up her first real book at nine, staying up into the wee hours of the night, flipping her light off whenever Melissa would walk by.
Rachel, tossing and turning with nightmares.
Melissa, putting crosses up on Rachel’s door.
Archangel Donna had visited her in the garden that day, appearing quietly next to Koriand’r on her bench.
“One of your charges is demon spawn. From some demon named Trigon. As she is half-human, she will still be under your care. But she will be susceptible to her father’s influences if she strays from the right path.”
–-
Koriand’r's sorrow grew each time she brought her souls back to Him.
They are all so young.
Every so often, she would weep on her bench, reliving their final moments.
Occasionally it was aggressive leukemia, sometimes drowning. Sometimes it was as peaceful as the child not waking up the next morning. But it still hurt nonetheless. She would ascend with their souls to Heaven in silence more often than not, unable to muster happiness.
Komand’r had caught her one day. She walked up to her, shaking her head.
“Koriand’r, we were created to follow His command. Don’t question the rights or the wrongs, just obey.”
Koriand’r knew that was what she needed to do, but always struggled to come to terms with it. So she continued, trying to push down her feelings of helplessness as her list of charges kept on getting replaced.
She was guiding one of her souls to the Garden of Immortality when the command came down to her.
Protect Rachel.
Koriand’r whisked away to Rachel’s house on the lane, delaying Rachel’s movements before the girl made her way downstairs. If Rachel had gone down any earlier, the stranger in the kitchen would have caught her.
Still, she wished she could have shielded Rachel’s eyes as Melissa jolted forward, the bullet passing easily through her head, and prevented her from seeing all the blood that pooled underneath her.
Humans, made of sounding clay, the quintessence of fluid running through their veins. So fragile, so weak.
This must be the work of a demon , Koriand'r thought, raising her hands as bright light emanated from them, prepared to defend Rachel.
Rachel was still wholly unaware of her presence.
Koriand’r quickly realized she didn’t need to do anything at all when the girl screamed, agony in her voice, and the stranger was flown across the room, a resounding crack echoing through the room as he landed on his neck. The light faded from his eyes, soul leaving the room, and Koriand’r hoped his time in the grave was a quick one so that he could get to Hell faster.
Koriand’r watched as Rachel huddled into a corner, openly sobbing. The blood was slowly making its way to her feet, its metallic tang permeating the air. She hurried over, gathering the girl in a hug.
There were no words that Koriand’r could give, words that Rachel would even be able to hear that would make any difference right now. All she could do was hold her.
“Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe now.” Sometimes Koriand’r wished Rachel could feel her. As if reading her thoughts, Rachel’s head shot up. But she was staring right through her.
“I know you’re here.”
Her face had twisted into a snarl, eyes crawling with black lines.
“Show yourself!”
Koriand’r slowly backed away and Rachel’s face went back to normal before she started crying again. “What’s happening to me?” she whimpered. Koriand’r could only watch, heart aching, as Rachel continued to sob, looking over at Melissa.
Koriand’r found herself in her garden again, fingers dug into the grass as she took in the swirls of pink and purple in the sky. But she couldn’t get Rachel out of her mind. Rather than calling for help, the girl had fled the house, and Koriand’r did what she could to make sure she stayed safe, willing her to a women’s shelter. But other than that, she couldn’t interfere, she wasn’t allowed to. Unless the command came to protect, all Koriand’r could do was will and watch.
She knew that this demon, Trigon, would stop at nothing to get to Rachel. Koriand’r didn’t know if she could wait to see exactly what he would do. Would she be the one to guide Rachel’s soul to heaven? Or would she have to relinquish her to the gates of Hell?
The girl did not deserve that fate. After all, she didn’t choose to be born a half-demon.
And Koriand’r was tired of feeling helpless.
Getting up from the grass without a second thought, Koriand’r descended to the lowest Heaven. Universes, galaxies and planets twinkled across her vision, painting an ocean of endless possibilities. Casting her gaze far, she spotted the Milky Way, and subsequently Earth, nestled among the stars.
Dangling one foot over the edge of heaven, Koriand’r steeled herself for the inevitable unknown.
Komand’r will be so angry.
Wings spreading, Koriand’r fell.