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10th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:32 AM
i lost another lightsaber again :/
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:33 AM
Hjfgyusdfgbsdhyfdjs
Seriously???
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:33 AM
yeah
i don't know why it keeps happening!!! obi-wan thinks i'm doing it on purpose when i'm not, i swear i'm not
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:34 AM
I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually think that, but your luck is pretty bad w/ lightsabers
How many have you lost now, four? Five?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:34 AM
5 yeah
i'm so not looking forward to being jeered at by younglings and master yoda again, man
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:35 AM
Rip
Can't wait to tell my Master about this lmao
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:35 AM
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
I WILL KICK HIM IF HE STARTS CALLING ME "LIGHTSABER LOSER" AGAIN
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:35 AM
GFYUDSGVBFHYUSDGBFHYUSDFJHFD
You might be able to get him this time if you try hard enough actually fdshyfsdgh
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:35 AM
good, because i'm aiming for the nuts. much softer than the shins. i didn't even know shins could be that hard
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:36 AM
That's because he was wearing nanofiber steel boots at the time you dingus fgyGBFHYDSGHDFFJD
Okay fine, I guess I'll let him find out on his own once you come back from Ilum for the 500th time
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:36 AM
g o o d
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:36 AM
Just know that it's not gonna stop him from making fun of you again. It might be better to get it over with sooner than later
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:36 AM
ughhhhhh
stop sounding smart when i'm trying to complain it's making me look bad
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:36 AM
Yjugfyusdhfgsdhyfhjdffhd
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:38 AM
i can hear obi-wan talking w/ master yoda in the other room about arranging another ilum trip for me. this is so embarrassing
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:38 AM
Lol
Only the finest for our resident disaster
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:38 AM
hygfhysdugfbhysdugfbhfdf
you are so mean to me >:(
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:38 AM
Just doing my job as your bestie <3
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:39 AM
i demand a refund. this is outrageous
jk i'm kidding you're irreplaceable. idk where i'd be w/o you aayla. you're like my only real friend in the whole damn temple. i'm not sure why you hang out with me sometimes tbh lol
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:39 AM
Hjkfhsdfgsyufhfdjfhdjkdfs
Anakin...
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:39 AM
sorry. it's just. i'm really grateful to have you as my friend, even if all i do is just constantly complain about things all the time
i just wanted to let you know that
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:40 AM
Aww, I'm grateful to have you as my friend too
You're really not as bad as you think. Yeah you like to bitch a lot but I like to bitch a lot too, it's a mutual thing. You have insane talents and insane humor and I wouldn't want to trade any of it for the galaxy
Though maybe I wouldn't mind your room being a little bit cleaner sometimes. I've stubbed my toes on way too many droid parts
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:40 AM
but it's part of the ~experience~
it's not my room if it doesn't have my stuff everywhere
it's organized
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:40 AM
Sure it is, lmao
But really, even that's fine. You're a cool guy and a good friend. I mean, I don't just ask anyone to come with me down to Middle Coruscant on a Taungsday night before an exam just to fuck around in the arcades
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:41 AM
yeah because no one else can keep up with you on the ddr machine. you call me insane when you're the one nearly breaking the dance pad every time we use it
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:41 AM
Actually there is one other person that can keep up with me, but he's not a fan of going out very much. He hates socializing lmao
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:41 AM
boo
yeah talking to people sucks but the arcades, man
sorry about the sudden self-esteem attack. i just really hate going through the new lightsaber process at this point, and the mission i was on was really stressful
it just sucks
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:42 AM
Yeah it does :(
Replying to message: S-K-Yfaller sorry about the sudden self-esteem attack. i just really hate going through the new lightsaber process at this point, and the mission i ...
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:42 AM
Dw about it. Failure smarts, even if no one blames you for it
Are you done with your mission, or are you still on it?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:42 AM
yeah we're finished w/ it. it was successful overall, even tho i lost my lightsaber. we're on a ship back to coruscant right now actually
we only had a little bit left to wrap up, thank the force
i think obi-wan wanted to leave the place just as much as i did
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:42 AM
Hjfgsdyufghfjd
Like Master, like Padawan
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:43 AM
pfff
if only
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:43 AM
You just don't see your Master the way I and a lot of people do lol
How are you feeling though, honestly? Just stressed or is it worse?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:43 AM
idk, it's kinda. eh. just don't feel great in general
i think the initial stress is fading away but i'm still not really sure
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:43 AM
Okay, well, remember to eat and drink something, at least. Maybe try to take a nap if you can
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:44 AM
not gonna suggest meditation?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:44 AM
Everyone and their tooka knows you don't like to meditate you dork
But I mean if you think that'll help
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:44 AM
hyufgyusdhfgbsdyfjdhfdjdffdh
yeah, no, i'm gonna go with trying the nap option. it's still a few hours to coruscant and obi-wan told me i could fill out a report the day after we come back to the temple
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:45 AM
Eat something first. I bet you haven't eaten anything today
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:45 AM
>:(((
fine
okay, ration bar obtained. it's lemon flavored
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:47 AM
Oooh lemon
Juju or Roonan?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:47 AM
it doesn't say
they also taste the same so i wouldn't care even if it did hfjkdhfjksdf
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:47 AM
Hmm
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:47 AM
?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:47 AM
Nothing, dw about it
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:50 AM
okay, i have consumed the food. it was passable
gonna go take a nap now
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.10 11:50 AM
Okie, see you in a few hours <3
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.10 11:50 AM
see ya
Message @S-K-Yfaller
@S-K-Yfaller [Online] - [Voice Call] [Video Call] [Pinned Messages] [Add Friends] [User Profile] [Search] [Inbox] [Help]
12th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:20 PM
Hey, are you doing okay? You didn't look too great in our last class
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:23 PM
Yeah I'm fine, mostly
Just been really thinking about a thing
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:23 PM
A thing?
That could mean anything knowing you
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:23 PM
Hjkgfhsdgfjsd shut up
It's just...
I dunno honestly
I'm still trying to figure it out myself because it's just really weird
Like I'm a little afraid that I'm gonna sound totally insane if I try to put it into words
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:24 PM
I've heard and seen some really weird stuff over the years
My Master loves taking me to strange places for missions. He claims it builds character, or something
Anyway I promise that I'll take whatever it is very seriously no matter how you say it
I know I like to joke that you're dumb and crazy but you're not. You're one of the smartest people I know
So if you want to talk about it, I'm here. I'll listen
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:25 PM
Thanks, Aayla
You're really the best
Okay so
Sorry, I had to go away for a little bit and it auto-sent on me. Hate it when it does that >:(
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:28 PM
Hufgyusdfgbsdyfhfdj
You know you can turn that off in the settings, right?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:28 PM
You can???
Bro how
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:28 PM
Go to User Settings -> App Settings -> Accessibility -> scroll all the way down to Chat Input -> "Auto-send messages"
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:29 PM
Okay hang on
IT'S OFF
YESSSSSSS
FINALLY
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:29 PM
GHygfbhyudsgbfhyusdfd
Yeah I turned it off as soon as I installed Schism. Not sure why it's turned on by default honestly it's so annoying
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:29 PM
Some people can't be bothered to use their hands to hit the send button, I guess
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:30 PM
HFDSFHYUDFGDFUDFHDJ
You should probably go scroll through all of the settings at some point to make sure nothing else is weird there
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:30 PM
Yeah probably
I just don't ever think about it hfjkdsgfyusdghdj
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:31 PM
Okay, so... the thing?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:31 PM
Right. The thing
Our last class brought up a thing that made me think back on the mission I just came back from
And I realized that I don't... really remember it very well?
Not as in "oh I forgot what sort of sequins the lady-in-waiting had on her dress on the fourth day we were there" or something stupidly specific like that, like actual legit "I don't remember anything that happened during that entire week when I absolutely should have because really important and dangerous things happened there"
The only reason I know for sure that it happened at all is because I don't have a lightsaber anymore. I keep reaching for it but it's not there
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:34 PM
Yeah I remember you complaining about that a couple days ago
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:34 PM
Really?? I only barely remember that. What the heck
Well. Anyway. Then I realized that I actually don't remember a lot of missions like that
Like when the class ended, I went straight to the records to cross-check my previous reports, just to make sure this wasn't some weird one-off thing, and like. I don't remember writing at least half of them
One of them states that my Master and I went to Talagar to check out a weird Force anomaly. I absolutely do not remember ever going to Talagar in my entire life, and yet there's a record on file saying I did
But that's not the weirdest part
There are missions that I do remember, but they don't feel like my memories. At all
With some of them it's like I'm just watching them on a screen like a holovid. Or they're part of a disjointed dream sequence
Those memories feel like someone else is using my body to do things in and it's super kriffing weird
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:38 PM
Huh
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:38 PM
Y e a h
I've always had memory problems, that's always been a thing with me, but it's never been this bad before
Or maybe it has always been this bad and I'm only realizing it just now
I literally can't think of a time where my memory wasn't patchwork as hell. This is so weird
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:39 PM
Okay. What do you mean by "it feels like someone else", exactly?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:39 PM
I know they're my memories, logically they have to be, but like
I just don't feel connected to them in any way like I'm supposed to?
It's like I'm viewing a recording. I wasn't actually there when those memories happened, even though I was physically there doing things, somehow
Like my first thought with some of them was that I was being possessed by something, you know?
That's a thing that can happen, especially when interacting with Sith artifacts or other Dark Side stuff
But a few of those memories are just me doing random day-to-day life things at the Temple and I was definitely not being possessed at those times
And neither my Master nor I went anywhere closer to anything that could've possessed me on that mission either, so
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:42 PM
Hmmmm
I'm gonna ask you something that might seem really off-topic here
Do lemons have different flavors?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:43 PM
Uh, yes, obviously
The Roonan lemon is so different than the standard Alderaanian lemon and stuff, I don't know how people don't know the difference
Plus, lemons like the Juju lemon are so much more bitter than the sweet lemon varities that they have entirely different uses in cooking
Why bring this up?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:43 PM
Um... well
Give me a second to go get a thing real quick. I think I might have a possible answer to this
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:44 PM
Wait really?
If you actually have anything about what this might be that'd be awesome, because I'm kind of losing my mind here
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:45 PM
Okay got the thing
So first of all. The thing about the lemons? That's not what you told me a couple days ago
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:45 PM
What??
Replying to message: S-K-Yfaller they also taste the same so i wouldn't care even if it did hfjkdhfjksdf
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:45 PM
^^^
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:46 PM
...What the hell
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:46 PM
I know it seems weird, but bear with me
Does anything in this article seem familiar to you? https://hns.healthyplace.com/abuse/dissociative-identity-disorder/dissociative-identity-disorder-did-dsm-5-criteria
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) DSM-5 Criteria
The DSM-5 criteria for dissociative identity disorder (DID) center around multiple personalities, amnesia as well as three other DID criteria. Learn more.
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:46 PM
Uh
What
Aayla, I don't have multiple personalities, that's ridiculous
I'm Anakin! Just Anakin!
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:46 PM
I know you are, that's not the issue
Just read through it at least once
The whole "multiple personalities" thing in that preview is a little misleading, I have to admit
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:47 PM
Fine, okay, I'll read it
Oh kriff
Yeah I've experienced all of that like my entire life
And it's definitely not a normal culture thing, or a drug-induced thing-- my Master would kill me if I was on drugs
What the hell
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:50 PM
https://ba.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder
Dissociative identity disorder
Dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder, split personality disorder or dissociative personality disorder, is a member of the family of dissociative disorders classified by the DSM-5, DSM-5-TR, ICD-10, ICD-11, and Merck Manual for diagnosis. It remains a controversial diagnosis.Dissociative identity d...
Here's the wikipedia article about it, it seems mostly accurate
I have a bunch of other resources about it if you want to look through them
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:50 PM
Aayla you better not be fucking with me right now
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:50 PM
I'm not, I swear on the Force I'm not
It's a very real thing that people can have. I know this because my other best friend has DID, and he was the one to start teaching me about it a couple of years ago. He's shared real experiences he's had concerning it with me
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:51 PM
WHAT
REALLY??
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:51 PM
YES!!!
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:51 PM
Karking fierfek
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:52 PM
I mean technically he's never been officially diagnosed and he doesn't want to go to anyone to get diagnosed so we don't really know for sure but. He's like 99% sure he has DID, last I checked
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:52 PM
I. Don't even know what to say
...Can I have more of those resources you were talking about?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:53 PM
Sure!
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Dissociative_Identity_Disorder
https://hns.verywellhealth.com/dissociative-identity-disorder-test-5096923
https://hns.holovid.com/watch?v=9w-Ro0exQk0
https://hns.holovid.com/@MultiplicityAndMe
Pluralpedia
Dissociative Identity Disorder
The most famous form of disordered plurality, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a condition listed in the DSM-V and ICD-11. It's the most severe dissociative disorder, wherein a diagnosis of DID makes any other diagnosis in that category null. DID is most known for its alters (or headmates), but it is much more complex than just having mul...
Verywell Health
Do I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Take Our Test.
Take our self-assessment test if you think you have dissociative identity disorder, formerly called multiple personality disorder or "split personality."
Holo Vids
The Rings System
What is DID/OSDD?
Holo Vids
MultiplicityAndMe
Welcome to our channel!
Subscribe to MultiplicityAndMe, one body, multiple minds, living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (simplistically known as Multiple Personality Disorder). The channel showcases alters (alternate personalities) who are Jess, Jake, Jamie, Ed and Oliver on their quests to create more awareness of this controversial di...
These were hand-picked by my other bestie for me to use so they're legit
Start out by scouring Pluralpedia for all the terminology first, and then move onto the vids. I think it'll be easiest that way
The Rings System has OSDD-1b (similar to DID but without the total amnesia between alters) while MultiplicityAndMe has DID
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:53 PM
Gods that's a lot
Wow
I mean. Maybe whatever I have is something else than this specifically but... it really seems close to what I'm experiencing...
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:54 PM
Just take the time to read through the articles and learn about it at first
Maybe you don't have DID but. I'm pretty sure you do
It'd make a lot of things make way more sense with you, anyway
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:54 PM
?? Like what
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:55 PM
The lemons thing?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:55 PM
Kark, right
Oh gods. If I really am made up of multiple "me"s or whatever (which is still really weird to me ngl), how many other things have I told you that contradicted themselves?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:55 PM
Umm
Not a whole lot stands out to me, actually? Like I didn't even consider the possibility that you might have something like DID before you started talking about the memory/amnesia stuff coinciding with differing emotional states
I literally know someone with DID and you still apparently masked it well enough to pass under my radar
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:56 PM
Yjugfhyusdgfvbhysdfgdhj
I'm going to be wondering about this for ages now. Force almighty
WAIT IS THIS WHY MY MASTER HAD TO TEACH ME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? BECAUSE ANOTHER ME LEARNED IT BEFORE I DID AND I DIDN'T EVER HAVE ACCESS TO THOSE MEMORIES
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST A REALLY SLOW LEARNER
What the fuck
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:57 PM
FHYDSGBFHYUSDGBFHYSDDJFD
Rip
If you have any other questions about DID or whatever I'll do my best to answer them, though I'll have to ask my friend about most of it. He knows way more than I do
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:57 PM
Yeah okay, I'll let you know
At least reading through this Pluralpedia stuff isn't too bad
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:57 PM
Funny you say that
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:58 PM
What
No. Don't tell me
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:58 PM
Because you've also told me you absolutely hate reading things that aren't about starships, mechanical engineering or droids
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:58 PM
W h a t
I've never said that. I know I never said that. I'm interested in reading about way more things than just that
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 3:59 PM
It's in our chat history somewhere I promise hfjkdsgfyusdgh
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 3:59 PM
What the fuck!!!
I'm having an actual crisis right now
Saying things that I could've sworn I never said, barely remembering things that I somehow did even though I know I didn't do them
If I'm not fully 100% me all the time, then who is it
Who am I?!?!
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:01 PM
fyuGBFDGBSFYHUDFDJDYFDGFD
Don't put the cart in front of the bantha just yet-- you'll give yourself a headache doing that
You're still you, I promise, you're just... arranged a little differently
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:01 PM
Hhfgsdyufgygfbyfhsdjfhd
I'm all fucked up ten ways to Kessel is what you're saying
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:01 PM
Not any more fucked up than me or anyone else in the grand scheme of things, really
You just experience life differently than most of us. And you are actually functioning with it, even if you haven't realized it before now. You're fine, mostly
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:02 PM
I just don't like the thought that I'm seriously missing a lot of things from what should be my own life
Like if I really have alters or whatever... What have they been doing in my body that I don't have any idea about? How long have they been wandering around as me? How much are they responsible for some of the things I'm still dealing with the consequences of???
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:02 PM
fgysfdsGBFHYDUSGBFHYDFJDFDHJDF
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:02 PM
If they're anything like me, you know that they're getting into some kind of trouble
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:02 PM
Oh probably lmao
Really though, I think you're just gonna have to wait and find that and/or anything else out yourself. Maybe try and start a journal to keep track of it? See if you really are losing chunks of time/memories like that?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:03 PM
That's a really good idea actually
I could keep notes about it on my datapad... though I usually use that for classwork and studies
And my Master goes through it every now and again to make sure I'm actually keeping up with my notes
...
Yeah no maybe not
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:03 PM
GFYUSDGBFHYUSDGFBHYUSDGBF
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:04 PM
Uhhh okay then
I guess I'll just have to buy something later, if I remember it?
Wait actually I just remembered that my Master likes to keep physical flimsiplast journals
I'm gonna go ask him if I can have one
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:04 PM
fgyGBFHYSDGBFHYSDFJDHF
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:05 PM
He gave me a really weird look when I asked him but he gave me one!!!
It's really nice, actually. It has a sewn-in spine and everything. Wow
I wish I could afford journals like this >:(
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:06 PM
Hjkgfysdgfbhyusfhjfd
We're too poor and humble for such luxuries
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:06 PM
Terrible
Then again I'd hate to rip up this thing like I do with my note-taking scraps so maybe it's a good thing I can't afford them
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:06 PM
Gghsdyufsdgfjsdgkfyusgfh
Lol true
You're so mean to your flimsiplast. Maybe that's why Master Obi-Wan gave you a weird look
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:07 PM
Shut up gfyuGBHYUGFBYDFHJFD
I don't even know what to write in this thing
Like what am I supposed to say??
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:07 PM
Name, date, detail out why you're starting the journal, write down some notes on yourself, profit?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:07 PM
Oh yeah okay, that's pretty easy
Thank you fhjkdshfjksd
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:07 PM
Yw <3 Just stating the obvious
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:07 PM
The obvious is never obvious with me, you know that
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:12 PM
It's done!
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:12 PM
Ayyyy
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:12 PM
Now I'm gonna go lock this up with my other private things and pray to the Force I don't forget about it entirely
Because I would like to actually use it for its intended purpose and not let it collect dust in the abyss
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:12 PM
Don't worry, I can remind you of it now and again if you want
I can also corroborate stories about other alters with you, if you have alters
Which I'm pretty sure you do now that I'm thinking about it with the new context
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:13 PM
Ehhh maybe
We'll see about that I guess. I may be just having regular amnesia problems or something
I know that's always something I've had to work around in some way or another
Though the mood swings are weird too...
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:13 PM
Mood swings?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:13 PM
Yeah
At least that's what I've always called them?
Like one moment I'm calm and feeling normal, and then something happens and all of a sudden I'm blisteringly mad
And it takes me forever to calm back down, and the transition period between those two states makes me feel like absolute banthashit
And sometimes I don't even remember why I got mad afterwards
It's really frustrating to deal with, both for me and my Master
The only thing I've managed to improve about it is being able to acknowledge when it's happening and, like, lean into it, in a sense
Go with the flow and not try to fight against it
It makes it less draining overall
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:16 PM
Hmm
That sounds a lot like what my DID friend used to experience a lot...
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:16 PM
Hfgbysdhufgbhysfgfd
Yeah maybe, but that kinda thing seems to happen with other these other dissociative disorders I'm reading about too so!!!
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:16 PM
True, actually
Hmmm
I guess we'll see
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:17 PM
Yeah >_>
So anyway, uh. Now that that's out of the way...
Can I borrow your notes for that class I totally zoned out in?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:18 PM
fdhgYUFDGBSFYSDJDDFHFJD
Yeah of course, I'll take some pictures of them for you
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.12 4:18 PM
THANK YOU SM ILU
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.12 4:18 PM
Message @S-K-Yfaller
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20th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:20 AM
So, um
Aayla
I... think I'm pretty sure I might have alters
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:21 AM
fgyuGBFHYDUSGBFHYUSDFSD I knew it. I totally called it
Okay, gimme the tea, what happened
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:21 AM
Well the journal thing worked really well. Maybe a little too well
I woke up today and found it open on my desk with two new entries in it that I definitely did not do at all. I haven't touched it for the past week
One of them was really short and curt, claiming to be Anakin and telling me (or himself, as he claimed) that this was a stupid idea
And then the other entry had probably the worst handwriting I've ever seen before
They also claimed to be Anakin btw
Both their handwritings and languages and mannerisms are so different from mine that there's no way I could've just done them myself and then forgotten about it later
It really is like they're different people, which is... definitely something
Also I locked that journal up in the private box for a reason. Who the fuck left it out in the open? Do they want my (our??) Master to send us to a crazy house?!
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:24 AM
fghyugHFYDUSGFBYUSDGFBYFHDJ
Master Obi-Wan wouldn't do that to you, you know that!
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:24 AM
I still don't want him stumbling across this thing when I barely understand it myself!!! I don't want to burden him any further than I already am
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:24 AM
Anakin...
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:24 AM
Yeah I know. Still
Anyway, Anakin-with-bad-handwriting also left a sticky note on the fridge in binary telling me to write a response in binary back
...Except I don't know how to write in binary
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:25 AM
fgYGFVBHYUSDGFBHYUSDHFD
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:25 AM
That's actually kind of weird, why don't I know how to write in binary?
I eat, breathe and sleep droids, how do I not know how to do that
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:25 AM
That's the thing with memories segregated by dissociative amnesia: sometimes the way they're split up between alters doesn't make much sense
One of my friend's alters can pull extremely complicated mathematical formulas out of his ass at the drop of the hat, while another can't solve a quadratic equation for shit
I think in that case said alter just vehemently dislikes mathematics for some reason and refuses to get any better at it than the standard educational minimum, but still
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 9:26 AM
That's so weird
Well anyway I'm just gonna write a response in Huttese instead. Kung Huttese, to be specific. My Master doesn't understand that variant yet so it should be fine fhjksdhfdj
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 9:26 AM
Hyufgvbhyusdgfbhysfdjfd
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:01 AM
This is kinda funny on my side to be honest
I, a normal singlet person, somehow ended up being friends with probably the only two DID plural people in the Jedi Temple, maybe even the whole Order itself
Absolutely wild
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:02 AM
Fhfdsgfyusdgfhjsdyfsdhj
I mean you're not normal but that is really wild
The complete opposite vibe of wizard
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:02 AM
GFBHYDSGBFYDSUGFBHDFJD
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:03 AM
Kark, wrapping my head around the fact that I might be plural is gonna be really hard
As if I wasn't weird enough already
I'm still kind of doubting that that's even what's happening, but. The journal
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:03 AM
Hgfbyusdgbfhyusdfgsdhjfhd
Hey, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it eventually!
And, to paraphrase what my friend told me, figuring yourself out as a system or potential system is a whole learning process that takes years and years to do
It's fine if you don't know much about yourself right away. It's normal
Especially since you're kind of untraining yourself out of the singlet model and fumbling around with the plural model
Even if you find out at some point that you aren't actually plural and just have something else that's dissociative or amnesia-inducing or whatever, at least you gave it a shot and went through the steps to know for sure
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:07 AM
True, actually, that's a good way to think of it
I'm guessing you have a lot of experience encouraging people in my current position, huh?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:07 AM
Years of it, lol
My friend constantly doubted himself for like an entire year before he finally accepted he was a system and started working on communicating better with his alters
He's a really cool guy, actually. I think you two would get along together
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:08 AM
Really?
I dunno... I'm kind of a huge mess rn trying to absorb all of this plural/DID stuff hfjksdhfjkd
I'm a mess in general but this is an even bigger mess
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:08 AM
Oh he'll understand that, he was a mess too during that stage
You'd never think it though, he's got an immaculate public mask
Which is weird because he has the social skills and grace of a goose
A very petty, very vengeful goose
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:08 AM
fgyGBFHYUDSGBFHYDHFJFDH
Is that equal to having the social skills of a rancor?
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:09 AM
You're not that bad
But..... yeah kinda, from a certain point of view fhjkdshfsgj
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:09 AM
I might have a chance then lmao
Okay, for real, if you think it might go well... I'd really like to meet him
I'd love to talk to someone that actually knows what all this plural stuff is really about
Just to make sure I'm not, like, making it all up in my head for some reason???
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:10 AM
But you said you definitely didn't make up those journal entries earlier
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:10 AM
Yeah but my memory is shit anyway, what if I'm accidentally lying to you or something
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:10 AM
I get it though. Yeah, I can go talk to him and ask him if he wants to meet you, if you want? I can easily set up a group DM for you two to chat in
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:10 AM
Would you??? That'd be awesome
Shit now I'm nervous hfjkdsghfhjkfd
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:11 AM
Hfgsdyuhfgbyhfdjfd
Don't be!!! My friend will probably be little rough around the edges and awkward at first, but he's such a sass master once you get to know him. His sense of humor is great
Okay, I'll go ask him about it!
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:11 AM
Okay!!
Message @S-K-Yfaller
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20th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:11 AM
Hey so
Remember the other day when I asked you for a bunch of plural/DID resources to give to a questioning friend?
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:11 AM
Yes?(edited)
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:12 AM
He just confirmed that he's probably plural, and also that he'd like to meet you over chat
He said specifically that he wants to talk to you and make sure he's not making things up in his head about being plural and stuff
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:12 AM
Ahh
I and the others remember going through that phase. It wasn't fun
I wouldn't mind meeting him, actually. The few things you've described about him to me sound interesting
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:13 AM
Oh yeah he's really cool
He's a tech genius and also the biggest dork in the galaxy
Be nice to him tho he's just starting to figure things out
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:13 AM
Hmph. I'm always nice
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:13 AM
Yeah sure you are Mr. "I Bite At People If They Give Me Compliments"
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:14 AM
Hey, it's not my fault most people choose to annoy me instead of being decent
An unsolicited, meaningless compliment is more annoying than anything else
Replying to message: dancing--sapphire Be nice to him tho he's just starting to figure things out
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:14 AM
I'll be nice to him, I promise
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:14 AM
Thank you <3
Okay, I'll add you, him and me to a group chat once I get it set up, if that's fine?
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:15 AM
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:15 AM
Aight then~
Message @Silverlock309
@S-K-Yfaller [Online] - [Voice Call] [Video Call] [Pinned Messages] [Add Friends] [User Profile] [Search] [Inbox] [Help]
20th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:15 AM
He says he wouldn't mind meeting you!
Give me a minute to set up a group DM and we'll be good to go
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:15 AM
Yessss okay
I hope he likes me at least a little fhjsdgfysdfdgh
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:16 AM
Oh he'll like you, I promise
Sure he's prickly and stuff but that's just his personality
I can't imagine why he wouldn't like you at first meeting, especially over text
He gets along with people way better when he doesn't have to see them face-to-face lol
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:17 AM
Hhjgfsdyuhfgbsdfhyfjd
Yeah I can see why
Less worrying about what people think of your body language and whatever's going on with your Force presence when you're talking to them
It's not my fault I express myself more than the stereotypical Jedi >:(
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:18 AM
Hgfyusdgfvbhydgbhyfdj
It's about controlling those emotions properly, not the actual emotions themselves, you know that
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:18 AM
Yeah I know, but it sure seems like a lot of people like to target the actual emotions part of it...
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:18 AM
Yeah true. Some Jedi go a little too overboard with it
Even I've gotten the occasional complaint about being "too emotional" when I'm being perfectly composed
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:19 AM
Hgfyusdhysfgdfsdjfsdhfdjfd
Message @S-K-Yfaller
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dancing--sapphire, S-K-Yfaller, Silverlock309
Welcome to the beginning of the dancing--sapphire, S-K-Yfaller, Silverlock309 group.
20th Day, 5th Month, Year 7953 CRC
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:19 AM
HERE IT IS
New group chat time
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:19 AM
HELLO
Hi
I'm a totally normal human that's definitely not having a mild crisis rn
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:19 AM
GFYDSGBFHYSDFJDFDF
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:20 AM
Pfff
Hello.
I also happen to be of the human species.
Crises are common, unfortunately. You'll learn to live with them sooner or later.
Silverlock309 I also happen to be of the human species.
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:20 AM
:O Oh man, what are the odds
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:20 AM
Very common.
...I think.
I'm not interested in doing the math right now.
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:20 AM
fgYUGBFYDHFHDDFJHDF
You nerd lmao
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:21 AM
Wait.
I think I've seen that username before somewhere.
...
@S-K-Yfaller You wouldn't happen to be Anakin Skywalker, would you?
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:21 AM
Um...
Yeah, actually, that's me
I don't really want that to be spread around considering, uh, the whole purpose of this DM, but yeah
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:21 AM
Aayla
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:22 AM
What??
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:22 AM
Unbelievable
The one time I think it might be nice to meet someone and it's Anakin fucking Skywalker
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:22 AM
Ferus wtf are you talking about
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:22 AM
Wh
Ferus? Ferus as in FERUS OLIN???
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:23 AM
The very same, Skywalker.
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:23 AM
AAYLA
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:23 AM
WHAT
Do you two know each other irl or something?
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:23 AM
Or something...
S-K-Yfaller 7953.05.20 10:24 AM
We hate each other. Olin's such an ass!!!
Silverlock309 7953.05.20 10:24 AM
And you're still a childish lout.
dancing--sapphire 7953.05.20 10:24 AM
Are you serious???
Wait. You both have definitely complained about each other to me at some point without giving names. Oh kriff it's so obvious in hindsight now
...Uh-oh
S-K-Yfaller and Silverlock309 are typing...
Message S-K-Yfaller, Silverlock309
