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Eddie’s alive. Steve’s fucking sure of it.
Not like anyone believed him, of course, his friends were convinced it was the ramblings of a lunatic, or a man who has rabies (Robin’s words). This whole conspiracy theory started when Steve was dragging Eddie out of the Upside Down, his entire body ravaged, legs showing bone, no sign of a pulse or breath.
“Okay, so, this is definitely worse than that time my friend broke her leg playing soccer,” Robin said, her voice trembling.
“Robin.” Nancy was more composed but was still staring at the body, her eyes filled with shiny tears and a terrified look on her face.
“Sorry,” Robin whispered, taking a sharp breath.
Dustin stayed silent.
Steve was crouched down, fingers shaking on Eddie’s neck. “C’mon, please,” Steve mumbled under his breath, eyes closed, focused completely on any sign of a pulse under his two fingers.
“Eddie, man, I swear to god,” Steve cursed shakily, “Fuck. Fuck!”
“Steve, we need to go,” Nancy said firmly, hand on his shoulder but he didn’t look at her.
“We have to take him,” Dustin chimed in, tears glimmering across his cheeks.
Steve gritted his teeth. Max and Eddie. They were his responsibility, he failed them both. He gently placed his hand under Eddie’s neck and brought his arm under his knees, lifting him up slowly and carefully. Wet blood stained Steve’s sleeve as it seeped from Eddie’s legs.
Taking the lead, Steve hauled Eddie towards the trailer, where red light consumed it all in a massive crack throughout the Upside Down.
“How are we meant to get through that?” Robin asked, concerned.
“I’ll go first.” Nancy walked in front of Steve.
“No, I’m going first,” Steve argued, she turned around and looked at him sternly.
“You’re taking Eddie, I’m going first,” she said firmly. He could never argue with her.
Nancy walked towards the crack, hovering her foot over the light.
Robin clutched onto Steve’s jacket. Dustin stood silently beside them.
Nancy took a breath and stepped in, falling through the crack.
“NANCY!” Robin yelled out,
A muffled, “I’m okay! Jump!” Came out through the crack. “Drop and roll!” Nancy yelled.
Robin stepped towards it as well, Steve clutched onto Eddie. She fell with a shout.
“Dustin, go,” Steve ordered, Dustin stood still before looking at him with wide eyes.
“But Eddie…” Dustin said, hardly above a whisper.
“I’ve got him, Dustin, just go,” Steve told him heavily.
Dustin took a shaky breath before closing his eyes and jumping in.
“Are you all okay?!” Steve shouted.
“Yes!” Came Nancy’s reply.
Steve took a deep breath and took a step when–
A gasp, Eddie’s eyes flared open, and he grabbed onto Steve’s jacket. Steve’s head snapped down, he practically fell to his knees and placed Eddie down right beside the fiery crack.
“Eddie,” Steve could only utter, “Eddie!” he exclaimed as Eddie’s eyes glossed once more and he fell limp.
“Steve! Where are you?!” Robin yelled.
He didn’t reply, he desperately slapped his fingers over Eddie’s artery, pressing so hard he would have choked Eddie were he conscious.
“Eddie, please, Eddie,” Steve begged.
“EDDIE!” he screamed.
And then he felt a faint pulse.
The pulse seemed to have never even been there when he jumped down with his arms around Eddie and they checked once more.
“Are you sure?”
“Maybe it was Vecna playing tricks.”
“He’s dead, Steve.”
“Mr Harrington, we need you to sign, you saw him die.”
But Steve never believed Them when They took Eddie away from his arms in a high security van. He was alive, Steve couldn’t prove it, but he was. The pain, the raw fear in Eddie’s eyes as he opened them, him clutching on for dear life as if he just wanted to say I’m not dead. He wrote a letter to Eddie the next day.
This took Steve to a month later, when they buried Eddie’s guitar pick instead of his body, with Mr Munson, Dustin and the rest of the Upside Down ‘gang’. Jeff, one of the members of Hellfire, was there. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t really talk to anyone. Until he came up to Steve after the ceremony was over.
“Hey.”
“Hey, how are you holding up?” Steve asked.
He copied what he said at every funeral. But this time it tore him apart. Usually it was family members, or Barb, who he didn’t know very well. He felt guilty for her, of course, but this time it was different. Maybe it hurt because Eddie could have stopped it. That Steve knew better, that Eddie should have. Maybe it hurt because this whole thing was a secret, held in a field on the outskirts of Hawkins so no one would find his cross, which didn’t even have his name on it. It was so unfair.
“Trying to convince myself this is some hyper-realistic campaign,” Jeff said with a soft, sad chuckle.
“Sorry, man,” Steve replied. “I hope you know it really was like the campaigns, he was a real hero.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Jeff said.
They stayed silent as Jeff took out a cigarette, lit it and wordlessly passed it to Steve.
“I’m sure he’s happy he died in the arms of Steve Harrington,” Jeff smiled to himself.
“Why’s that?” Steve asked.
“Probably shitty of me to say this,” Jeff said, looking away, “Well, I’m sure this isn’t much worse than the murder allegations,” he shrugged, Steve watched him curiously. “Eddie had a massive crush on you in high school. Huge, wouldn’t stop talking about it.”
Steve’s mind buffered.
“Really?”
“Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“No, no, I’m fine with that, it’s just…I was an asshole in high school,” Steve said, scratching the back of his head as the cig was passed back to him.
“Yeah, he loved assholes, he was pretty mean too. Not in like a horrible way just…” Jeff trailed off.
Steve held onto that. For a long time. He held it in his mind until graduation. Robin and Nancy didn’t go all out for it; they got their diplomas and headed home to celebrate with their families. Steve cheered for them and went home by himself. Didn’t tell his mom where he was. He was oddly calm.
In a soft silence, Steve laid on his bed for a while until sleep overcame him since he hadn’t slept properly in days. He didn’t really know what he was dreaming about, but it was peaceful. He hadn’t had a peaceful dream in years. Maybe since he was a little kid.
Steve woke up and the sun was setting outside. He felt really rested, then a soft urge washed over him. Steve walked over to his wardrobe, he picked apart some boxes and found his graduation cap, he smiled and rushed down the stairs.
“Are you going out, hon?” His mom asked from the living room.
“Yeah, I just need to talk to someone,” Steve replied gently.
“Alright, stay safe, darling,” she said, blowing him a kiss. He blew her one back.
His car roared to life and Steve drove out into the summer night. He drove in silence, only disturbed by his tires running against the rough gravel and his soft tapping on the steering wheel.
Arriving on location, Steve stepped out of the car and walked into the field that appeared in his dream. He walked over to a wooden cross. Here lies a true hero.
“Hey.” He sat down on the sun burned grass.
There wasn’t going to be a reply but Steve still waited for one.
“Thought you might like this.” Steve brought the graduation cap to the cross and placed it upon the top. “Dustin said you told him it was your year, you know? And it is your year, despite…circumstances.”
“Max is alive, she’s woken up. She’s not doing too great, but she’s hopeful. She says that she met god, and says that she liked her. Robin and Nance graduated today, it was fun. We all went, they seemed very happy. Robin’s not sleeping well but none of us are. I hope you are. You know, I still think you’re alive. Or at least, I hope for it. Maybe if Max is, then you are too. It’s stupid, I know, but I really want you to just…appear one day and say it was all a big joke.”
“Hellfire club has been rebranded and Dustin’s trying to keep your memory alive. Mike doesn’t stop talking about you. Especially to Will and El, the girl with superpowers. She got her powers back. Jeff and I talk sometimes, it’s weird, I never thought I’d be friends with him.”
“He said that uh…you had a crush on me.”
The silence hung over the field, only the grasshoppers softly buzzing.
“Crush is such a weird word. Like, what? I was crushing you or something?” Steve decided stand up comedy wasn’t for him.
“Yeah, I keep thinking about it, oddly enough. I keep thinking about you, honestly, never thought I would, but I never thought this is where I’d end up a few years ago. You know, I would have been so weirded out if you told me back then, but if I had my head on straight back then, maybe we could have…been something.”
“I was so jealous of you before we met. Dustin used to talk about you all the time and I was mad that he thought you were cooler than me, it was so stupid honestly. We could have been friends, if I’d just given you a chance. Maybe you wouldn’t have given me one.”
Steve looked at the lonely cross. He smiled.
“Just give me a miracle, Eddie.”
And then he drove home into the late night, not lit up by the red setting sun but by artificial lights blurring past Steve’s car.
“Robin, do I give off gay vibes?” Steve asked one day a few weeks later in Family Video.
“Uh…why?” Robin replied hesitantly.
“Do I?”
“Not really.” She shrugged, rewinding a tape. “Oh! Bisexual vibes,” Robin suddenly exclaimed proudly.
“Bisexual?” Steve asked, a little confused.
“David Bowie,” she said simply,
“Ohh, David Bowie,” Steve replied, nodding his head with his lips parted slightly. “Wait what?” he looked up at her as she chuckled.
“He likes men and women,” Robin enlightened Steve.
“Oh, you can do that?” he asked.
“Yeah. Why? You crushing on a boy, Steve?” Robin smirked,
“No.”
Yeah, about that.
“Fuck!” Steve expressed into the hot air of his room late at night when he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain guy with curly brown hair and the prettiest eyes ever who used to lean in a little too close.
“Screw you, god, why’d I find out I’m bipedal only after he died?!” Steve groaned to the ceiling.
“And screw you, Eddie, can’t believe you didn’t even talk to me in school,” Steve sighed. He hit his head against the backboard a little too hard, rubbing the back of his head with a pout.
Hours passed and no more luck getting to sleep.
“Harrington’s got her, don'tcha, big boy?
The words echoed in his feeble mind, Steve was just a weak man with an incredibly hard dick. Fuck. This wasn’t respectful of Eddie’s memory, was it?
“You better be alive, motherfucker,” Steve whispered as he lowered his hand into his boxers.
The guilt of that night remained when Steve went to Eddie’s grave again the next day when the sun was setting. He’d gone there every few days in the past weeks. Sometimes he’d sit there and listen to a few metal mixtapes he got from the music store in town that he assumed Eddie would have liked.
“I was made for lovin’ you baby,” he mumbled as he laid on the grass and listened to the song. He slightly pushed back the headphones as the guitar played.
“I jerked off to you last night.”
“Is that bad?”
No reply once more.
“I was thinking about you close to me, your lips, your hair.”
“I miss you even though I barely knew you,” Steve said quietly. “I wish you were here, I know you’re alive, I know it.”
“Tell me I’m not crazy, Eddie, tell me everything’s okay,” Steve whispered, “Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking about you all the time even though you’re not here, tell Dustin I’m right, tell him, tell him you’re alive, give me one sign, just one.”
“Not like I’d be able to figure it out, anyway, I’m not as smart as the rest of them.”
“But I need you.”
“STEVE?!” A sudden voice yelled, Steve sat up far too quickly and his vision turned dark.
“STEVE!” The voice yelled once more and Steve got up on his feet, picking up his baseball bat and holding it up.
“Who’s there?!” Steve exclaimed, looking towards a figure leaning on his car.
“Steve!” The figure’s voice seemed dry and tired out, out of breath and exhausted.
Steve’s heart stopped in its tracks before racing faster than ever before. He dropped his bat and his walkman was forgotten as he ran towards his car. It had to be him. It had to be. Please be him.
Steve approached the figure, wearing some sort of ragged T-shirt and khakis that were far too big for him. His hair was short, as if it had been shaved but grew out a bit, but undeniably, by the huge eyes and famous smile, Steve knew it was Eddie.
“Steve,” Eddie’s tired voice croaked with a smile so wide it must have hurt his jaw. Before he got out another word, Steve crushed him in a hug. Eddie quickly hugged back.
Time seemed to stop as they panted against each others’ chests, Steve inhaled the smell of Eddie’s sweat and of course, cigarettes. The clothes smelled faintly of old people, this should have at least set off some alarm bells in Steve’s head. But it didn’t. Steve just held Eddie in his arms as if he was going to disappear if he let go.
“I can’t breathe, man,” Eddie choked out a laugh. Steve pulled away looking at his scarred cheeks, dimples so clear.
“Are you real?” Steve asked hopefully, hands clammy and cold, face burning red.
“Yeah, real as shit, baby,” Eddie laughed as he shook his head, tears welling in his big brown eyes.
“I KNEW IT!” Steve yelled far too loud as Eddie continued laughing. “I fucking knew it, I knew it,” Steve told him, joining him in his insane laughter.
“Okay, fuck, I’m so fucking happy to see you, god,” Eddie smiled, “But I need your help.”
“I’ll do anything,” Steve immediately said and Eddie chuckled again, holding his chest.
“I’m being tracked, They had a tracker in my leg,” Eddie pointed at his right leg, lifting the khaki up to reveal a thin metallic stick going down to a scuffed white — or at least it was meant to be white — sneaker. “I found it, I managed to get it out and I left it in a hiding place , but it’s only a matter of time before They find it and realize I’m here.”
“Wait, wait, wait, you escaped from The Government?” Steve asked, jaw basically on the floor. Eddie broke out into a wide smile.
“It’s not that hard,” Eddie said, pretending to tuck a piece of his hair behind his ear but it was too short for that.
“Okay, let me get this straight, They took you from me—us, told us you’re dead, but you’re alive…what did They want from you?” Steve asked, still looking at Eddie as if he was a ghost.
“They said I can’t go back to Hawkins, They wanted to give me a lobotomy, or at least I’m guessing that’s what that was,” Eddie shivered at the memory.
“Let’s get you home,” Steve said determinedly, as if he wasn’t shaking. Eddie looked into Steve’s eyes and smiled so wide.
“God, you’re prettier than I remember,” Eddie whispered, almost to himself, Steve smiled shyly back, pulling him back into a hug.
They got into the car, Steve grabbed his walkie talkie as he drove out.
“This is Steve, we’ve got a code—uhhh—red but not in a bad way, over,” Steve said over it, “Good and bad news, I guess, over,” he added. “Anybody? Over,”
Eddie grabbed the walkie talkie from his hand, their fingers brushed. Steve noticed this, as if it was the most important thing at the moment.
“I’M ALIVE MOTHERFUCKERS, OVER!” Eddie yelled into the radio, Steve winced and leaned away from him.
Steve drove like a madman back into town. “Yes, Steve! Woohoo!” Eddie laughed as Steve broke the speed limit.
“I know you dumbasses aren’t asleep yet, over,” Eddie sang into the walkie talkie. “DUSTIN!” He screeched.
“Shit, Steve, sorry, I was washing the dishes, what happened? Over,” Nancy answered the walkie talkie,
“HELLO?!” Dustin suddenly yelled into it, “STEVE ARE YOU OKAY?! DID YOU FALL IN THE SHOWER AGAIN?!”
Eddie giggled, looking at Steve, who rolled his eyes, grabbing the walkie out of his hand.
“Everyone, meet me at mine in 15, my parents aren’t home, this is a code red, over,” Steve said clearly.
“Got it, we’ll tell the others, over and out,” Nancy told him.
“Is that what you tell all the girls, Stevie?” Eddie teased, poking his tongue out.
“I found out you’re alive like 10 minutes ago and you’re already bullying me?” Steve asked, faking annoyance, he couldn’t be happier.
“It’s not bullying, it’s teasing,” Eddie replied, staring at Steve. “Can I just–” Eddie put his hand over Steve’s cheek, “Can’t believe I’m really here.”
Steve’s face couldn’t get much redder as he took Eddie’s hand and held it firmly.
“I knew you were alive,” he told Eddie as he squeezed his hand.
They drove into Steve’s driveway and ran out of the car, Eddie stood far too close behind Steve as he shoved his keys shakily into the door.
Eddie tripped over the doorway as he jumped into the house, Steve grabbed his arm.
“Jesus, Eddie, don’t kill yourself now,” Steve sighed and Eddie burst into laughter, pulling himself back into a hug. He was so real. God, he was so real.
They walked into the living room in silence and Eddie collapsed on the couch, letting out a long breath. “Fuck, I’m exhausted.” Eddie closed his eyes.
“Do you want some water?” Steve asked, already walking to the kitchen. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and rushed back, giving it to Eddie, who looked like he just saw an angel, grabbing the water and aggressively taking off the lid to guzzle the entirety of it like he was dying of thirst.
“Fuck, better than an orgasm,” Eddie said breathlessly as the bottle fell to the ground when he crashed back down on the couch.
Steve heard a car pulling up to the driveway, he looked out the window to see Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, Dustin, Mike, Will, Lucas, Max and El piling out of it like it was a clown car. Dustin ran to the door and yanked it open so hard that Steve was sure it would fall off its hinges.
“STEVE!?” he yelled, Steve rushed to the door to quickly hug him as the rest of them crowded into the hallway.
“Are you okay?” Robin asked, concerned.
“Yeah, yeah, just c’mon,” Steve ushered them into the living room, where Eddie stood up and watched them come in with a very badly contained grin.
Dustin’s eyes widened and a gasp left his mouth before he started screaming, Eddie joined him with an insane laugh, opening his arms. Dustin ran faster than the speed of light and attacked Eddie in a hug that sent them crashing down to the ground.
Robin grabbed onto Steve’s arm, “Is that–”
“Yeah,” Steve replied with a smile.
“OH MY GOD!” Mike exclaimed so loud that the walls shook as he also ran to the laughing bundle of Eddie and Dustin, he fell to the ground, trying to grasp at Eddie, grabbing his hair and face.
“No fucking way,” Lucas mumbled.
“What’s going on?” Max asked Lucas, who didn’t say anything and just held her hand.
“Who is that?” Jonathan asked airily. The rest of them also watched curiously at the tangle of limbs on the floor.
“You’re–you’re,” Dustin’s muffled sniffles came as Eddie stroked his hair.
“Why are they fighting an old man?” El asked Will.
“I think it’s Eddie,” Will remarked, still looking at them. Nancy stared blankly at the floor, eyes open wide.
“Eddie?! Huh? Can someone explain what’s going on?” Max asked again but everyone ignored her.
“I’m not that old!” Eddie exclaimed from the floor, being almost choked by the boys. Steve chuckled.
“Okay, guys, don’t kill him, we just got him back,” Steve said softly, crouching down to pat Dustin on the shoulder. Dustin retracted, still gripping Eddie’s arm, silver tears streaming down his face. Mike stayed in his comfortable position nestled into Eddie’s neck as they sat up.
Steve wiped Dustin’s tears, gently stroking his hair with a soft, “You’re okay.”
“How?” Nancy asked.
“Can’t get rid of me that easily, Wheeler,” Eddie smirked, tears also shining in his eyes.
“Ohh,” Jonathan interjected, “Eddie Van Halen.”
“I wish! I’m Eddie Munson,” Eddie said, chuckling. Everyone stared at Jonathan.
“Ohhh, the murderer,” Jonathan remarked. Eddie silently died of laughter.
“Jonathan,” Nancy looked at him like he was crazy.
“Not the murderer?” Jonathan asked, “How many Eddies do you guys know?”
Will rolled his eyes way too far into his head as Nancy smacked his arm.
“What’s your strain, man? I want some,” Eddie asked, Jonathan gave him a knowing smile,
“Purple palm tree delight, man,” Jonathan said and got another smack on the arm.
When Eddie finally managed to escape Dustin and Mike’s clutches, he stood up and gave Lucas a big hug. And as soon as he let go of Lucas, Robin ran and snatched him into an embrace.
“You’re insane,” she mumbled.
“Do I not even get a hello?” Max questioned, waving in Eddie’s direction. Robin let go.
Eddie chuckled, “Hey, Red,” he went over to give her a hug.
“You smell awful,” Max remarked, but hugged him back nonetheless.
“I don’t mean to ruin the moment but Eddie’s being tracked by the government,” Steve expressed, standing off to the side with his arm wrapped around Dustin.
“He’s what now?” Nancy asked.
“Let’s sit down,” Eddie smiled.
When they sat down, Eddie told the entire story right from the beginning.
“I was born in Rock Hill, Illinois, where my parents lived.”
Okay not that far.
“I couldn’t feel anything, it was like I was alive and dead at the same time, I couldn’t remember a thing, it sorta felt like a dream. I heard your guys’ voices but I couldn’t wake up, I felt Steve lifting me up but I couldn’t say anything. But then at some point, I saw this red light, and this pain, this horrible pain, I opened my eyes and saw him — Steve, not god — and I tried to speak but I couldn’t. I felt myself falling back asleep. But when I woke up, Steve wasn’t there.”
Everyone listened with intent, except for Jonathan, who seemed to be listening to music in his head.
“It was a dark room, I was strapped to a bed, I couldn’t feel anything. I shouted for someone, Steve, Dustin, anyone, but no one came until I fell asleep again. And then I woke up in another room, now I was strapped to a chair. I looked around and heard a voice through a speaker. They started asking me questions, I couldn’t do anything except answer, they totally drugged me. I looked down and — well, I didn’t have a leg, which freaked me out. As much as I could be freaked out on those drugs. I tried to escape but people in hazmat suits came in and drugged me and I fell asleep again. Then I woke up in a completely white room, sitting on the floor with a prosthetic leg instead of my one, chained to the floor. There was a mirror on the wall, they’d shaved my head. Talk about flashbacks to middle school,” Eddie laughed.
“They told me they were going to help me, that I wasn’t going to feel a thing. I tried to ask what they were going to do but they didn’t answer. I was taken into a room where they had these…medical instruments. Let me tell you, I was not having fun. I had a plan, though. Worked with police, I assumed it would work with them too. I started acting crazy, knocking shit down and screaming about my long lost lover, Stephanie.”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows.
“I was all like, ‘WHERE IS SHE?! YOU BASTARDS!’,” He yelled, shaking his head, chuckling, but no one found this funny.
“Anyway, when they were trying to contain me, I managed to steal a scalpel from the table. Then I woke up again, hands tied behind my back. I realized they didn’t find it and I found a moment of weakness when they untied me to take me to the operating table, I grabbed the scalpel from — uh — well, you don’t need to know the details, I shoved it in one of the guards’ eyes and when he screamed I ran towards the table, I jumped on it and broke the vent, climbing in. I was pretty much as skinny as I was in middle school, I don’t think they fed me very much. So, high on various drugs and adrenaline, I climbed through the vents and by some will of him — god, not Steve — I managed to get out into the wilderness. Running with a stick for a leg is pretty tough but I managed to get out. Thanks to dad for teaching me to hotwire, I managed to steal some government Jeep and drive the fuck outta there. Driving with a stick for a leg is also pretty tough. I managed to get into some town, stole a map, some clothes and food and when they found me again, I realized there was a tracker on my leg. With the scalpel, I managed to cut it out. The good thing about prosthetics is that they don’t hurt when you perform surgery on them.”
Everyone watched in awe. He was insane. But he was so fucking badass. Steve watched him tell the story, Dustin was latched onto Eddie on one side, Steve on the other. Mike was holding onto Eddie’s arm. Max and Lucas were huddled together, Nancy and Robin were gripping onto each other’s hand, Will and El were leaning in, listening with intent despite not knowing Eddie.
“I let them follow me far from the lab, it was in Nevada, they thought I didn’t know they were following me, but I was one step ahead. I managed to get to a train station. I put the tracker on a train to Cali, and took my train to Indy. I had stolen some money from the Jeep, so I bought myself some food on the train, slept there, and after two days, I arrived in Indy. I didn’t have enough money for a bus here so I hitchhiked to East Fork, I used a compass and the river to locate Hawkins and walked, slept in the woods, before I got to the outskirts of Hawkins and by another miracle of god, I saw a car there, I thought I could hitchhike into town but by a miracle of Steve, it was his car,” Eddie was smiling so wide and Steve teared up as he beamed, “Steve’s, not God’s,” he added helpfully.
“The rest is history.”
The silence hung low over the living room as everyone evaluated what they just heard.
“You’re a fucking hero,” Dustin sobbed quietly into Eddie’s shoulder.
“Can I get a wahoo?!” Eddie yelled and they all mumbled a very sad ‘wahoo’, even a confused Jonathan joined.
A late night soon overtook the town and the kids had to get home, Dustin really didn’t want to go, begging Steve to let him stay, that he was gonna tell his mom he was sleeping over. As much as Steve wanted him to stay with his best friend, he felt this gnawing jealousy in his chest. It hurt. He didn’t want to be an asshole. But he wanted to talk to Eddie, he wanted to take care of him by himself.
Nancy came to the rescue. “Dustin, Eddie’s still a wanted man, we can’t let anything out of the ordinary happen until we make a plan.”
“It’s not out of the ordinary! I stay here all the time!” he pleaded but Nancy was stern and soon they ushered him into the car and they all drove off after a half hour of goodbyes.
“Hey,” Eddie said when Steve walked back into the living room and Nancy drove off.
“Hey,” Steve replied, Eddie looked anywhere but at him. “You hungry?” Eddie nodded, lips pursed. “Want some pizza?”
“Do I want to breathe?” Eddie said, little humor in his words.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Steve patted him on the shoulder and walked to the phone in the hallway.
He dialed the phone number he shouldn’t have memorized but still did. “Domino's Pizza, Lana speaking, how may I help?”
“Hi, I’ll get one pepperoni, one margarita, twelve chicken strips and potato wedges…two cokes and a coleslaw,” Steve listed, “Oh and some barbeque sauce.”
“Alright, your order will be ready in 20 minutes, and it’ll be 16 dollars and 75 cents. Can I get your name and address?”
“Steve Harrington, I should be in the system,” Steve told her.
“Yes, you are, sir, enjoy your meal,” Lana said happily.
“You too,” Steve replied, cursing himself for saying that as he hung up the phone.
Steve walked back into the living room to see Eddie sitting on the couch, folded over himself, face in his palms.
“Eddie?” Steve asked softly, worry still seeping through his voice since the end of the world pretty much happened and this wasn’t a good sign.
Eddie didn’t reply.
“Eddie, are you okay?”
Once again, no reply. This felt like how Steve talked to his grave.
“Just make some noise to let me know you’re not gonna die at any second,” Steve pleaded gently, crouching down as Eddie sniffled. “Hey, look at me.” He placed a hand on Eddie’s arm.
Eddie held his head up reluctantly, looking down at the carpet, tears leaking out of his eyes, red and puffy as if he’d been rubbing them. Steve sighed quietly.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m gonna sound like an asshole,” Eddie shook his head.
“I love assholes,” Steve smiled, Eddie chuckled wetly.
“You know how that sounds, right?” Eddie asked, still laughing through his tears. He’s got such a pretty laugh.
“Just tell me,” Steve said softly, stroking lightly down his arm.
“I just feel like…I don’t know, like they weren’t really happy to see me, ya know?” Eddie asked, furrowing his eyebrows, “Like, I spent months trying to get to you guys and everyone’s just…mad? Maybe not mad, but not happy to see me.”
“Of course they are, Eddie,” Steve shook his head.
“I know, I know, maybe I just made up this perfect reunion in my head and when it wasn’t what I wanted I…I’m such a selfish prick,” Eddie choked on a few tears and Steve sat on the couch next to him, placing his hand on Eddie’s back.
“You’re not. When you think about meeting someone after not seeing them for a long time, it’s always kinda disappointing. But then time will pass and everything will be okay, I promise it–”
“No, Steve, it’s not gonna be okay,” Eddie sobbed into his hands, “Dustin didn’t even say anything, he just cried and all Nance wants to do is get rid of me again!” he cried. Steve felt his chest tightening, seeing Eddie like this.
“That’s not true, Eddie, you know it’s not. We just want to keep you safe,” Steve told him, rubbing circles into his shirt. “Look, as her ex boyfriend, I can tell you Nancy is super intelligent but not emotionally. Like, at all, she doesn’t know how to show emotions, none of them do. They’re fucking nerds, they don’t know how to handle their emotions, Dustin included, you think he talks to anyone about his feelings except me? No, he doesn’t, and when he talks to me all he does is cry, it’s not because he’s not happy to see you, it’s because he’s a kid, Eddie.”
“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “He didn’t deserve what I put him through.”
“Jeez, Eddie, you think you deserved what you went through?” Steve asked, shaking his head.
“Maybe.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I really want some pizza,” Eddie said, sitting up and looking at Steve as he laughed, the laughter slowly turned into sobbing and Steve pulled him in for a tight hug.
“We missed you, we really missed you.”
I missed you.
“Missed you too, Steve,” Eddie whispered into his shoulder as if he’d read his mind. They hugged until Eddie’s breath became even and he let go.
“We should get you a shower,” Steve remarked, Eddie’s mouth opened in offense.
“Are you saying I stink, Harrington?” Eddie asked,
“No!” Steve exclaimed quickly, “Maybe a little,” he added guiltily and Eddie burst into giggles, Steve joined him.
When Eddie was in the shower, Steve couldn’t stop thinking about the previous night. Maybe god had heard him. Steve picked through some of his clothes to find Eddie something comfortable. He decided he’d bin the T-shirt and khakis as soon as he got the chance. Was it worse to masturbate about a friend who you thought you’d never see again or a friend who showed up the next day? He chose some very soft sweatpants and a white tee that was small for him, also some underwear that weren’t tighty whities because Eddie would never let him forget that. Suddenly he felt the whole emotional trainwreck of the past few months hit him, that he’d dreamed that Eddie would be here, that they could be something and now that thought seemed so scary and out of place. He looked at Eddie’s denim vest hanging in his closet, ran his fingers down it and gently dragged it off the hanger.
“Dude, your shower is so good,” Eddie said, startling Steve as he came out of the en suite. He hobbled over with a walking stick that Steve had used when he broke his leg.
“What? Oh, yeah, it’s good,” Steve replied. “Here,” he handed Eddie the clothes. “And uhm…this is…your vest that you gave to me, it’s clean, I–maybe you’ll feel like yourself wearing it, I dunno.”
“Thanks,” Eddie smiled softly. He pulled the shirt over his head. He looked at Steve, “I’m not saying you can’t watch but–”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Steve quickly apologized and turned around.
He fiddled with his fingers as he heard Eddie grunting, Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“Are you…okay?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“Just kinda hard to get bottoms on without a leg,” Eddie replied,
“You know you can sit on the bed…right?” Steve asked because it was obvious,
“I didn’t wanna sit my bare ass on your kingly sheets,” Eddie laughed,
“Shut up,” Steve scoffed, with a smile on his face.
It dawned on Steve that Eddie hadn’t really forgotten his King Steve days, really, hadn't really forgotten that he was an asshole; and this would have been a much more painful realization if Steve hadn’t remembered everything that Jeff had told him. That, well, despite it all, Eddie had a crush on him…
Maybe that was it: a simple crush, a popular boy to long for, an asshole jock who he just wanted to fuck and get it over with. Maybe Steve had been wrong, maybe Eddie never really liked Steve for who he was. Steve was oftentimes wrong about people’s feelings towards him.
The doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it,” Steve told Eddie.
“I’ll be down in a sec,” Eddie replied.
He opened the door to see a young man with a shitton of boxes and a Domino’s cap. Steve gave him the money he’d prepared on the windowsill and Steve told him to have a good night.
He walked into the living room and placed the boxes down on the coffee table. He grabbed two beers from the fridge when Eddie, with his leg back on, walked in.
“Feeling any better?” Steve asked,
“No but feeling like shit is much nicer when you’re clean,” Eddie grinned, he was wearing his vest that seemed far too big on him now, so did Steve’s clothes. It made Steve want to scream and cry.
“Right, dig in, you need these calories in your system,” Steve told him, opening the boxes and Eddie’s eyes lit up as he rushed to the couch.
“Harrington, you’re about to witness history,” Eddie said as he picked up a slice of pepperoni, Steve smiled as Eddie bit into it and honest to god, moaned.
“Fuuuuuck, now this is better than an orgasm, this is– I’m cumming, Steve, I’m actually ejaculating,” Eddie moaned with his mouth full as Steve laughed. “This whole thing was worth it for this, mmm,” Eddie continued as he shoved the entire slice into his mouth.
Steve picked up a slice too, eating it with less enthusiasm but still enjoying the hot pizza.
“Oh dude you got beer?” Eddie asked, reaching for a can, “And coke? Dude, you’re wild.”
“Don’t think I forgot that you’re partial to a six pack,” Steve grinned and Eddie beamed at him as he drank the beer.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m literally about to suck you off, dude, this is fucking great,” Eddie said after he guzzled half the can and took another bite.
“Okay, man,” Steve laughed nervously.
They ate everything on the coffee table until they were stuffed and four cans of beer were lying among the cardboard boxes.
“Wait hold on,” Eddie said, Steve looked over to him, where he was spread out on the couch. Eddie sat up and shrugged off his vest. “Put it on,” he ordered, giving it to Steve. Confused, Steve put it on and Eddie smirked and nodded. “Okay.”
“What?”
“Keep it, you still look hot in it.”
Oh.
“Thanks,” Steve smiled,
“Dude, don’t blush, it’s a factual statement,” Eddie grinned back.
AHHH???
“I’m not blushing,” Steve replied automatically,
“You are bright red.”
“Shut up, I’m not.”
“Oh c’mon! You’re hot, Steve, everyone knows it,” Eddie said, laying back down on the couch.
“Okay, time for bed.” Steve smacked his thighs and stood up, “I’ll get the guest room ready, yeah?”
“But moooooom,” Eddie whined as Steve walked out the room.
Jesus Christ, way to keep your cool, Steve.
Steve raced up the stairs, into the guest room. Eddie called him hot. Steve pulled some sheets out of his closet. But objectively hot, right? That doesn’t mean anything, everyone can agree that he is, even Robin. He started pulling the sheets over the bed and struggling to make them straight. Steve liked wearing Eddie’s vest, yes he wore it while crying late at night in his bed, sue him.
“God fucking damn it!” Steve exclaimed angrily as the bedsheet slid off when he pulled on the opposite side.
“Are you okay?!” Eddie yelled from outside the room.
“I’m fine!” Steve yelled back, going to pull the other side. Then the side he was just pulling got untucked and he groaned loudly.
Eddie slowly opened the door and peeked through. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, just the stupid bedsheet.”
And you. You’re stupid, too.
“I’ll help,” Eddie offered, walking to the other side and gently tucking the bedsheet into the mattress with ease.
“Thanks,” Steve sighed.
“No prob. Thanks for letting me stay,” Eddie smiled softly, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Don’t thank me, it’s the least I could do.”
“No, Steve, you saved my life.”
It was Steve’s job — or at least self appointed job — to save everyone, to kill Vecna without any losses or near-death experiences and he failed at both. He failed everyone, including himself.
“Not really, it’s my fault that stuff happened to you so it’s really the least I could do,” Steve said, shrugging, acting nonchalant as he cased the pillow.
“Steve are you kidding?” Eddie asked, slight irritation seeping through his voice.
“What? I left you on the sidelines with Dustin to fend for yourself, you both nearly died,” Steve replied, trying not to let his voice tremble.
“You told me not to act the hero but I really went out there, leaving Dustin by himself, and tried to defeat a swarm of angry demobats, I didn’t listen to you,” Eddie said, standing up as Steve threw the pillow on the bed.
“I didn’t leave you with a choice, Eddie, I should have been there instead of you,” Steve told him simply, as if it was a simple fact of life.
“And died?!” Eddie exclaimed hysterically,
“You didn’t die!” Steve yelled just as loudly,
“I wanted to!” Eddie blurted and Steve froze up.
Eddie looked at him with wide eyes as if he didn’t mean to say that.
“What?” Steve asked quietly, voice shattering into a million pieces.
Eddie looked away, expression stone cold.
Steve’s hands started shaking by his sides.
“I just–I’m sorry.” Eddie’s words fell on deaf ears. “I just–I thought that if I went back there, alive, everyone would hate me. Everyone, Wayne, all my friends, they’d think I was a psychotic m-murderer, an asshole just like my old man and–I–fuck, Steve, I didn’t wanna see that.”
How could Eddie — an angel — want to die?
The words echoed in Steve’s mind.
Eddie wanted to die. Just like you.
Eddie rushed by his side and pulled him into a hug. Was he crying? He hadn’t noticed.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart.
“I went there every day — every fucking day, Eddie.”
“Went where?” Eddie pulled away and looked in his eyes with his brows knitted.
“Your grave, Eddie,” Steve whispered, tears silently streaming down his face. “We buried your guitar pick, Mr Munson was there, he barely looked alive–he’s not, Eddie, every time I talk to him, it’s like he’s not even there. Jeff didn’t believe it, no one did. Mr Munson didn’t believe it for a second, nobody did. Nobody stood there and claimed you were a murderer.” Steve’s voice trembled as tears fell from his face, “Because they knew you!” Eddie flinched a little when Steve shouted, “I knew you for a week and you changed everything, everything I thought I knew. You are a hero, not because you jumped in to kill those bats but because you took care of people, you were kind and funny and you were Dustin’s hero! You know how fucking jealous I was?! Do you have any fucking idea about how much people love you?”
A beat.
He’d said too much. I love you was in the back of his throat like vomit but he swallowed it down.
“Really?” Eddie posed less of a question and more of a shock to Steve’s words.
“Yes, really,” Steve sniffled and wiped his tears before cracking a sad smile. “Still jealous as hell, by the way.”
Eddie collapsed back into his arms, pulling him close, almost too close, but it could never be too close. Now that Steve’s got him, he’s not letting go.
“I’m so sorry,” Eddie whispered, “I’m such an idiot.”
“Yes, you’re an idiot, Eddie Munson,” Steve chuckled into his hair, stroking the tiny curls.
“And you’re beautiful, Steve Harrington,” Eddie mumbled into his shirt.
He’s heard that before. Ah yes, he forgot he’s Steve Harrington: destined to fall since he flies too close to the sun. Or perhaps he just heard that from Greek Literature class.
Steve was not Icarus, however, and did not have the pleasure of drowning in the ocean beneath him, but managing to float up to the surface each time, only to be attacked by waves upon waves.
Bidding goodbyes, they went to sleep in different rooms although all Steve wanted to do was to be close to him.
Nancy had once told Steve something he’s never going to forget.
“Steve, of course people love you, but you’re never going to see that unless you love yourself.”
Maybe it was true.
With dried tears in his eyes, Steve fell asleep.
“You think I’m pretty?”
“Yeah,” Eddie replies easily, “I wanna kiss you.”
“You can kiss me all the time,” Steve tells him and then there’s this gorgeous laugh. Fuck, he loves it.
The kiss is a whirl of tongues and lips, fading in and out of reality as their clothes start slowly disappearing.
“Fuck, Eddie.”
Moans fill the room as well as the smell of sex as Eddie kisses down Steve’s torso and takes his dick into his mouth, Steve’s a whimpering mess below him as his ringed fingers run across his body and grab at his hands, his waist, his nipples. Each time Eddie lowers his head down, he looks at Steve, eyes glossy and fucked out—
“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, STEVE!” The sound of Dustin over the walkie talkie abruptly interrupted Steve’s peaceful sleep.
Steve groaned loudly as he got out of bed.
He looked at his alarm clock. 9:16AM. For fuck’s sake.
“Fucking hell, Dustin, wake up the entire neighborhood, why don’t you?” Steve told him annoyedly over the radio and rushed downstairs to open the door.
Dustin beamed when Steve appeared in the doorway, hand on his hip, hair messed up and dick safely secured in his waistband.
“He’s asleep, Dustin,” Steve expressed.
“Who? I’m here for you, nothing out of the ordinary,” Dustin smiled cheekily, “I brought my mom’s muffins!” He lifted up a little brown paper bag with grease stains at the bottom.
Steve rolled his eyes and let him in.
“How’d you sleep?” Dustin asked cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen.
“Fine. Good. Really well, thanks,” Steve replied, turning the kettle on and taking out some instant coffee from the cupboard. “Yourself?” he asked.
“Great, actually,” Dustin announced proudly, sitting on the counter.
“Get off my counter,” Steve ordered.
“What fucking asshole rings the doorbell ten fucking times at 9 in the fucking morning?” Eddie asked drowsily as he came into the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes before seeing Dustin. “Of course.”
“Hello, mysterious stranger,” Dustin grinned, Eddie chuckled before going over and giving him a hug.
“Who’s this kid in your kitchen, anyway, Steve?” Eddie asked, walking over to where Steve was leaning on the counter, waiting for the kettle to boil.
“I don’t know,” Steve replied, shrugging. Eddie smiled at him and picked out some sleep from his eyes.
“Am I interrupting something?” Dustin asked,
“Yes, you interrupted my peaceful sleep,” Steve snapped, not really mad at him.
“What did you dream about, Stevie?” Eddie questioned, smirking.
“Your mom,” Steve replied instantly as the kettle flipped and he poured water into two cups.
“Charming,” Eddie smiled.
“Do you want some coffee?”
“Yes please,”
“Have you ever tried Ms Henderson’s muffins?” Steve asked, taking another mug out of the cupboard and putting three spoonfuls of coffee into it.
“Once. I have never forgotten them,” Eddie said wistfully,
“Oh yeah, that was when we played the Venger campaign!” Dustin exclaimed.
Eddie suddenly straightened up. “Greetings, Kelek, do forgive my intrusion,” he said in a deep voice.
“Of course!” Dustin squeaked back,
“Of course…what?” Eddie asked, pointing a finger at him,
“Of course, master,” Dustin replied, bowing his head. Then they burst into laughter as Steve looked on, really confused.
“It’s a DnD thing, Steve, you wouldn’t get it,” Dustin said dismissively.
“Don’t be mean to Steve, do you even know anything about basketball? The balls, Dustin?” Eddie asked, Dustin snickered. “Do you know what a facial is? When they’re playing too close to the tight D? I doubt you can handle balls like Steve does, Henderson,” Dustin continued laughing as Steve died from embarrassment. “You can’t deny you’re blushing now, sweetheart, I’ve got a witness,” Eddie leaned in and whispered into Steve’s ear and his stomach flipped, he glanced once at Eddie before rolling his eyes and turning away.
“A tight D isn’t a place, it’s a position,” Steve choked out and Dustin howled in laughter and Eddie grinned, god, he has such pretty dimples.
They sat down at the counter and Eddie started moaning loudly about the muffins.
“Mmmrghhmm, Dustin, give your mom a big, sloppy kiss from me,” Eddie moaned through a sticky mouthful of muffin.
“I will not be doing that,” Dustin replied, shaking his head.
“Whatever, Jesus, does she put crack in these?” Eddie asked as he washed the muffin down with coffee. “Nah, even crack isn’t that good.”
“And you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. Eddie lifted up his arms,
“Sorry, mom,” he teased and Steve was pretending in his head that his tone wasn’t doing anything to him.
“You actually have a prosthetic, wow,” Dustin remarked, looking under the counter at Eddie’s leg. “You’re like The Terminator, in a good way.”
“I’ll be back,” Eddie said in a deep voice,
“I get that one!” Steve exclaimed. “Arnold in that robot movie? Mhm, that’s hot,” Steve said, nodding, Dustin raised an eyebrow. “In like a…robots are cool and hot way, right? Robots are hot. So is Arnold but he’s objectively attractive even Ro–I mean, even I think he is, right?” He was just digging himself a hole as the boys stared at him.
“This is why you still don’t have a girlfriend, Steve,” Dustin replied after a few excruciating seconds of silence. Steve groaned and rolled his eyes.
“I don’t have a girlfriend because I don’t want one, Dust–”
“Yes you do! Eddie, back me up here, Steve’s hopeless,” Dustin told him,
“Maybe Steve doesn’t want a girlfriend, maybe he wants Arnold,” Eddie smirked, Steve shot him a dirty look and he just winked when Dustin was still focused on berating Steve.
“Why don’t you date Robin? Or Nancy, isn’t she broken up with Jonathan now?” Dustin asked.
Not like Steve could tell him he’d been dreaming of Eddie for months now.
Eventually, after a few more snacks and watching something on the TV, Dustin’s real mother called Steve and asked if Dustin could come home. Steve said yes and sent Dustin home with a little ruffle of his hair from Steve and a noogie from Eddie.
“What do you wanna do?” Steve asked Eddie after turning away from the window when Dustin biked out of the neighborhood.
“Do you have any weed, man?” Eddie replied, an anxious frown on his lips.
Steve folded his arms, “You think I keep weed in my parents’ house, Munson?”
“Sorry, man,” Eddie chuckled, sighing.
“I do, but that’s not the point,” Steve said, Eddie lit up with a gleeful grin.
They went upstairs and Steve dug around in his drawer as Eddie sat patiently on the bed. Steve grabbed one blunt, reaching for the second one but decided against it. He sat down next to Eddie after opening all the windows.
“Only one, we’ll have to share,” Steve lied. Eddie looked at him curiously, a smirk still playing on his lips.
“Light up, big boy,” Eddie told him. Steve reached over Eddie to the bedside table to grab the lighter.
“Get comfy, c’mon,” Steve said, seeing how Eddie didn’t put his feet up yet. Eddie smiled more shyly as he placed his feet on the bed as slid down against the headboard.
Steve silently lit up and took one drag before handing it to Eddie.
He’d started smoking weed again after Vecna, having nightmares and anxiety so bad he couldn’t survive without it, cigarettes not being enough to keep him off his mind.
“You get this off Rollablunty Sam?” Eddie asked with a grimace,
“Yeah?” Steve said guiltily as Eddie shook his head slowly, “Is that bad?”
“Her shit is bad, Potman Pat is where it’s at,” Eddie enlightened, “We were uh–friends before this whole fiasco.”
Friends seemed very unsure, Steve furrowed his eyes, suspecting Eddie wasn’t just friends with Potman Pat.
“You ever wish you could turn back time?” Eddie asked, looking at the patterned ceiling.
“Mhm. All the time.”
“What time do you wanna go back to?”
Steve sighed, thinking about it.
“Sometimes I wish I could go all the way back to 1983, knowing everything I know now, I always think about what I could have done better. I could have gotten better grades, stopped being friends with Tommy and Carol, never would have gotten in that fight with Jonathan. Never would have known about the demogorgons. I could have been friends with everyone, not just because I saved them from those monsters. We could have been–”
Steve stopped before he said something he would have regretted.
“We could have been what?” Eddie asked, looking at him. Steve hoped he’d just drop it.
“I dunno…friends, I guess.”
Eddie looked off somewhere, seemingly thinking about something. Steve hoped it was about his crush on Steve in high school.
“I doubt I would have been a good friend.”
Eddie’s words bounced around Steve's head for a while.
“You’re a good friend now,” Steve finally decided to say. Eddie chuckled wistfully as he passed the blunt back.
“Back then, I would have ran for the hills if you ever approached me in high school,” Eddie told him, Steve still didn’t understand why.
“Why? ‘Cause you would have thought I wanted to beat you up or something?” Steve asked, going for humor, ending up sounding a little upset.
“No, no, I just…I– uhm…”
Had a crush on me?
“I was pretty intimidated by you, I guess. By everyone in high school.”
“You seemed…confident, though?” Steve said, phrasing it more like a question than a statement, but Eddie just smiled softly, turning towards Steve, who was lying on his side with his head propped up, eyes wide and looking right at Eddie’s li–eyes.
“I wasn’t, not around pretty boys like you.” Eddie looked back towards the ceiling as his smile faltered. “I was a coward, maybe I pretended to be all confident, but I never let anyone get too close.”
“Sounds…lonely,” Steve replied lightly, taking a long drag of the blunt before passing it back.
“Eh, maybe.” Eddie shrugged, “Freaks like me are always lonely.”
Freaks like me.
“Dunno, outcasts find other outcasts, that’s what Robin says,” Steve told him.
Eddie watched him curiously, finishing the blunt. “Hunt the freak,” Eddie smiled. Steve knitted his eyebrows softly and fixed a hair sticking out onto Eddie’s forehead.
“I just think freaks can find each other, you know?” Steve remarked. “It doesn’t have to be so lonely.”
“You don’t get it.”
“Maybe you underestimate me, maybe I’m the same.”
He said too much, perhaps, since Eddie’s expression changed from confusion to a bemused eyebrow raise.
“I think your ‘same’ and my ‘same’ are different ‘same’s.” Eddie chuckled gently, brushing Steve’s hair away from his forehead.
“We’re not as different as you think, Eddie The Banished.”
“Dustin’s a little snitch, isn’t he?” Eddie asked with a soft smile, a blush creeping on his cheeks. Eddie looked in every direction except Steve’s eyes.
“Most of your friends snitched on you,” Steve smirked, Eddie’s smile faltered and turned anxious as he finally looked into his eyes with his own round ones.
“Nothing bad, right?” Eddie asked quietly, his voice broke regardless.
“No, Eddie, of course not,” Steve replied warmly.
Bad? No. Devastating? Yes.
“No idea how I can ask what you know without giving away all my secrets,” Eddie chuckled nervously.
“Is one of your secrets that you only have two legs now?” Steve smirked, Eddie narrowed his eyes,
“You know I only have one–” his eyes widened, “Steve!” Eddie exclaimed, sitting up and hitting him on the shoulder as Steve cackled at his reaction, “Dirty jokes are my thing!”
“Told you we’re not so different!” Steve yelled, hiding his head from the attacker.
“Shut up, I hate you,” Eddie huffed, throwing himself back on the bed with his arms folded. “I want more weed.”
Steve, instead of getting up and walking like a normal person, climbed over Eddie like a jungle gym and reached into the drawer, legs still sprawled over Eddie’s waist.
“What the fuck?” Eddie groaned, pushing Steve’s side. Steve plucked out the second blunt and started giggling when Eddie poked him again.
“I’m ticklish, stop,” Steve chuckled before Eddie’s grin went wild and he started tickling Steve with both hands, Steve started kicking his feet and laughing uncontrollably, he placed the blunt on the bedside table and tried to drag himself away from Eddie’s grasp, but Eddie kept him right in place with a crazy smile on his face.
Steve pushed himself up and tried to roll away but Eddie grabbed him by the waist and kept him there, their faces close, Steve’s entire body laid out on Eddie’s as he panted, no longer being tickled, held by Eddie’s cold hands against the warm exposed flesh of his waist.
“You said you only had one blunt,” Eddie smiled, staring at Steve with his huge, brown eyes.
“I lied.”
The words didn’t come out as a joke, more as a confession of sorts, more like: I wanted to touch your lips with mine, even through paper.
And Eddie seemed to understand, gazing up at Steve through his pretty lashes, lips just waiting to be kissed. Begging, even, eyebrows knitted, cheeks pink and lips in the faintest smile.
“Steve,” Eddie whispered, barely audible. A promise, not a question.
“Eddie,” Steve returned. Agreement.
Please kiss me. Please, please, please.
But Eddie’s eyes never fell closed, nor did his hands come off of Steve’s waist, he didn’t lean in, or retract, or ever look away. He just stayed there, not pushing Steve’s head, letting him just lean in, since they were only a few centimeters apart, Steve was just a breath away, he could kiss him, he could do it and Eddie wouldn’t move away.
But he didn’t want to assume, he didn’t know what it would mean. He didn’t know what Eddie was really thinking behind those beautiful eyes, didn’t know if it would mean the same to Eddie as it did to Steve.
And then Eddie blinked and the moment evaporated before it ever began when he turned his head towards the bedside table and took his hands off of Steve’s waist. “Not fair how I could’ve had a whole blunt but now I have to get 40% of each one,” Eddie mumbled, little humor in his voice.
Steve cleared his throat and rolled off, pulling his shirt down. “Thought you didn’t like Sam’s stuff.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“You can have the whole thing, I don’t need it,” Steve told him. No need to smoke and get even more horny and delusional. Delusional? How is Steve delusional? Eddie’s the one who had a crush on him in the first place. Eddie’s the one who held his waist, looked at him like he all he wanted was to ravage him.
“I don’t really hate you, you know.” Eddie plucked the blunt from the bedside table.
Steve could hear Eddie’s words but couldn’t comprehend them.
“I’m just being a coward saying that,” Eddie continued when Steve didn’t say anything, “I pretended to hate you for a long time, but I never did.”
“But I was an asshole.”
“I loved assholes,” Eddie chuckled to himself, “Loved the thrill of the chase, teasing you for the fun of you telling me to fuck off,” he smiled fondly.
Steve felt bad he didn’t even remember that. Just a faint blur of Eddie’s curls bouncing through the hallways.
“I remember being so jealous of you, especially when Dustin came into school and started talking about you non-stop, and I was so mad that he knew the real you and I didn’t.”
Tell me. Tell me you know me now. Tell me you love me now.
“I was jealous of you too,” Steve remarked after a small moment of silence, “I was so jealous that Dustin thought you were cooler than me and it was stupid but…I thought you were cool, too…I thought you were…”
Beautiful, terrifying, couldn’t take my eyes off you.
“Badass.” Steve finished lamely, snatching the blunt from Eddie’s fingers, but instead of letting it go, Eddie followed his hand, pulling it away from Steve’s face and replacing the blunt with his own lips. Steve knew it should have felt like something amazing, he knew he’d dreamed of this moment for so long, he was desperate for it.
And yet, when Eddie moved his lips against Steve’s, their faces so close, Eddie’s hand pressed against the side of his face, Steve felt like they’d done it a million times before. A million kisses in a million parallel universes that Dustin always talked about.
His lips tasted of the weed and the sickeningly sweet crumbs stuck to the corners of his mouth that made Steve want to lick into his mouth, taste him in his entirety. Steve wanted to crawl inside Eddie’s bones and live his life there, he wanted to be desperately closer to him, nothing else mattered.
And just as quickly as it started, Eddie let go, sat up in the bed. Steve looked up at him, following his movement.
“Wish I tasted that good,” Eddie mumbled softly.
“You taste better,” Steve whispered. Their eyes met for an electric second before Eddie jerked and grabbed the blunt out of Steve’s fingers, it had started to burn through the covers.
“Jesus,” Eddie mumbled, putting the blunt out. Out of pure shock and a moment of glee, Steve started laughing.
He hadn’t laughed out loud with so much joy in a very long time. It reminded him of winter as a child, when his parents would take him to some kind of event and got drunk so they had to take the train home, it was freezing cold and when he ran back into his room, threw his dress shoes off, stripping down to his underwear, skin red and burning with the cold, he would run into bed and snuggle under the blankets, so warm that he just laughed from bliss before falling asleep.
Eddie was the blanket.
Eddie looked at Steve like he was a little crazy but smiled so fondly that Steve understood every emotion in his big, soft eyes. Steve wanted to drown in the warmth of those eyes, dark like the night forest in fall but warm like fire, gently crackling in the dry summer air.
“I knew,” Steve beamed, not noticing the tears in his eyes, “I knew you were alive, I knew you had to come back, I knew that you had to be here. I knew you weren’t done with life, despite it all. I knew you’d come back to me,” he kept laughing as the tears streamed down his face, Eddie’s big, soft hands were on his cheeks again, wiping the tears away.
“You don’t know how happy I was to see you, Steve,” Eddie whispered, his voice shaking but his lips smiling, dimples appearing in his cheeks. Steve ran his fingers over the side of his face. “I really thought god was real when I saw your stupid car,” he was smiling so hard it must have hurt.
Steve sealed the smile with a kiss, Eddie’s face burned into the back of his eyelids as he kissed him with more passion than he’d ever kissed anyone. He’d never believed in love as hard as he did now. Their lips moved like a promise, like they were making up for every second they missed together.
“You’re perfect, you’re so perfect,” Eddie mumbled into his lips, pressing his forehead to Steve’s.
Steve didn’t respond, he climbed over Eddie and sat in his lap, warm body pressed against every inch of his skin. He needed to feel every part of Eddie’s soft skin. He kissed Eddie like he was starving for him and in a way, he was. He’d been starved for 19 years.
It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Their lips were tired but still lazily brushing against one another, licking each other’s lips, tongues, like they’d never kissed before. Like they were trying to keep it alive forever.
Steve only broke apart to pull his shirt over his head, hot skin flushed underneath the fabric. He pulled Eddie’s hands down, desperate to feel the soft skin of his hands over his chest and torso.
“You’re beautiful, baby,” Eddie whispered, even though he didn’t need to. He spoke as if Steve was the only one who needed to hear it. And for the first time ever, Steve really believed those words. Butterflies swarmed through his stomach at the name, knowing Eddie was the only one who said it so earnestly.
Without needing direction, Eddie touched Steve the way he was so desperate to be touched. His fingers traced patterns into Steve’s skin, patterns he wanted drawn on. Constellations were formed from each mole, each scar, each imperfection on Steve’s skin. Eddie’s hands wrapped around Steve’s waist, goosebumps appearing in his wake.
“God, I’ve dreamed of this, Steve, every single night for four years,” Eddie mumbled like a secret, touching Steve like he was going to disappear if he wasn’t holding onto him.
“I know,” Steve replied, running his fingers underneath Eddie’s shirt (Steve’s shirt that looked so much better on Eddie). He felt the delicate bumps of scars under his hands, some jagged, some unbearably soft.
“You know everything, don’t you?” Eddie smiled, not leaving an inch of Steve’s skin undiscovered.
“I may not be a god, but I do know you’re desperate to fuck me right now,” Steve smiled back, rocking gently over Eddie’s erection under his sweatpants.
“You are a god, Stevie, I would die every day just to worship you,” Eddie expressed, pure adoration in his eyes.
“You don’t need to die to worship me,” Steve whispered, leaning in close to press kisses along Eddie’s jaw, down his neck. Eddie tried so hard to stay quiet but gentle exhales and moans sounded against Steve’s ear, Eddie’s hand reached into his hair, pulling and carding through it as Steve left love bites for weeks over the expanse of his beautiful neck.
“You’re the only one to render me speechless, Steve,” Eddie chuckled into his hair, kissing his temple.
“And yet you’re still talking,” Steve smiled. He never wanted Eddie to stop talking. Instead of responding back with something witty, Eddie bit down on his earlobe. Steve couldn’t help but moan loudly against his neck, grinding down on his dick. Eddie continued sucking on it, tasting the sweet flesh of Steve’s ear. It crossed Steve’s mind that he could easily cum just by grinding and letting Eddie suck the life out of him through the small bit of skin on his ear; he wondered what would happen if they went further than that.
“Eddie, please don’t stop,” Steve mumbled against Eddie’s pattering pulse, pathetically grinding down on him.
“Gonna get off just like this, princess?” Eddie whispered right into his ear, making Steve physically shiver and bring him closer to orgasm.
“If you don’t stop,” Steve whined. Eddie dragged his teeth down his neck, leaving huge marks all over the side of his throat.
“I’d do anything to fuck you, Stevie, have you ride my dick while you whimper my name just like this,” Eddie whispered obscenely, making Steve fall further onto his body, rendering him useless, brain filled with nothing but Eddie. “I had this dream where you let me fuck you in the lockeroom after you showered, you let me make you dirty again just because you wanted it, you wanted me so much, you begged me to fuck you against the wall.”
“Mmhm, don’t stop talking,” Steve mumbled, grinding lazily, without rhythm.
“You were so fucking desperate for me, drooling as I fucked you stupid,” Eddie mumbled, putting his hands over Steve’s hips and adjusting his grinds, basically using Steve for his own pleasure. But Steve wanted that more than anything. “You called me daddy, letting me take care of you, god, you screamed like you needed it.”
Steve whimpered, almost crying into Eddie’s neck. There was nothing in his mind but the word daddy echoing in his head, pulsating against his dick, desperate to get off.
“And you held on so hard that I could feel your fingers when you’d let go–”
“Fuck me, please fuck me, I can’t anymore, Eddie,” Steve interrupted, lifting his head, connecting their lips in a sloppy kiss. Eddie moaned into his mouth desperately, grinding up as if he was really fucking him. Steve reached his hand over to the bedside table blindly, smacking around, yanking his drawer open and pulling out lube and a pack of condoms.
“Fuck, you’re serious,” Eddie mumbled as Steve pulled away and reached down into Eddie’s sweatpants (Steve’s sweatpants, that looked amazing when Eddie’s dick was pressed against them) and pulled his gorgeous cock from them. Jesus, he needed that thing inside of him like yesterday. “Gonna ride me, baby?” Eddie asked, a smirk playing on his lips as his chest heaved.
“Yes, gonna fuck myself on your dick, daddy,” Steve mumbled, Eddie threw his head back as he let out a breath he was holding.
“You’re a wet dream, Harrington, a wet fucking dream. You’re not a god, baby, you’re the devil himself,” Eddie groaned, running his hands over Steve’s chest. “You look like a mommy with those stupidly perfect tits of yours,” Eddie said, punctuating his words by squeezing Steve’s nipples.
“Oh fuck,” Steve moaned, closing his eyes, not being able to focus on getting the condom on Eddie’s dick. “You can’t say shit like that,” Steve whispered, only because he’d cum if one more word came out of Eddie’s filthy mouth that Steve was addicted to.
“Why not, you don’t wanna be a mommy? Don’t want daddy to get you pregnant? Fill you with my cum? You begged for it in that dream of mine,” Eddie smirked, sadistically loving how Steve reacted. Steve whimpered as he ripped the condom wrapper open and pulled it out with his hands shaking from anticipation. Eddie placed his hands over Steve’s, stopping them from shaking. “Listen to me, baby, you don’t have to do this, are you even prepped? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Shut up and let me fuck myself on your cock, Eddie,” Steve whispered, knowing he was coming off as bitchy but honestly, he needed this. He’d had things in his ass before (when he was jerking off about Eddie a few days ago) and he wasn’t going to let it stop him from getting something he’d dreamed about for months.
“God, I love it when you’re a bitch, it’s why I fell for you in the first place,” Eddie grinned, letting go of Steve’s hands and moving them back to cup Steve’s chest.
Fell for me?
Steve didn’t move for a second, not comprehending. But he decided to throw it all out the window when Eddie pinched his nipples, making Steve desperate. He was practically drooling for it. He needed Eddie’s fantasies to come true, Eddie deserved it. More selfishly, Steve needed Eddie’s cock to make him feel better about jerking off when Eddie was presumed dead.
He slipped the condom on, shoving his own pants down, throwing them off the bed and getting back on top of Eddie. He jerked Eddie off a little with some lube, Eddie giving him a breathy moan in response. Steve roughly shoved a finger inside himself, rubbing the lube over his hole before he positioned Eddie’s dick somewhere near to his asshole, not knowing exactly if he got it right before he started sinking down and felt Eddie’s cock slipping into him.
Eddie gasped as Steve slowly went lower, taking him down further and further until he bottomed out.
“Jesus fucking Christ, baby, you’re fucking perfect,” Eddie muttered, holding onto Steve’s hips desperately, his fingers digging so deep it was sure to leave a mark. His eyes were screwed shut, Steve assumed it was to stop himself from thrusting, as much as Steve may have wanted that. Steve took a few breaths, getting used to the feeling so deep inside of him.
“Fuck, you’re perfect, Eddie, you’re the perfect one,” Steve mumbled, barely coherent. “Look at me,” he begged, putting his hands on Eddie’s face. Eddie opened his eyes. “I’m real,” Steve whispered, and it may have been so stupid but Eddie opened his big, glassy eyes and nodded as if he understood exactly what Steve meant.
“You’re so real,” Eddie whispered back, one hand moving from his hips to play with his hair, “You’re so perfect.”
“I’m gonna move now, don’t stop looking at me,” Steve said, lifting his hips gently, tightening around Eddie’s dick. And Eddie, perfect, gorgeous Eddie, kept looking at him and panting like his life depended on it. “Jesus fucking–god.” Steve couldn’t recognize his own voice. His thighs were already trembling, Eddie’s hand traveled down to hold them still.
“It’s okay, baby, keep going, it’s okay,” Eddie assured, rubbing circles into Steve’s thigh.
“Can’t move,” Steve whimpered as he sank back down, Eddie took a few breaths and stroked his hair. He was so overwhelmed, he was so close to breaking down in tears, he wanted nothing but to get fucked.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Eddie whispered, “You want daddy to fuck you senseless?” Eddie asked gently. Steve nodded desperately, lifting himself up as Eddie adjusted himself a little and grabbed hold of his hips again. “Ready?”
“Yes, daddy,” Steve whispered before Eddie rammed into him at a brutal pace. Eddie really meant senseless, Steve could barely feel his legs as he felt his stomach being practically rearranged. He started whimpering ‘ah, ah, ah’ on each thrust in, so deep in.
“Good?” Eddie asked, barely able to breathe as he looked at Steve in earnest.
“Amazing,” Steve managed to pant out, “Get me pregnant,” he mumbled, Eddie grinned underneath him and bent his leg to get deeper inside Steve, and as soon as he thrusted in, Steve yelled out as he saw stars, a new type of ecstasy filling his veins.
“Right there?” Eddie asked, running a hand down Steve’s chest and torso.
“God, yes!” Steve whined, thighs shaking, Eddie aimed for that spot again and continued fucking him. Eddie abused his hole like he was made for it, hitting the spot every thrust, making Steve close to crying and cumming at the same time.
“You look so good like this, you’re perfect, baby,” Eddie mumbled, “Jesus, you look better than I could ever imagine. You like that dick inside you?” Steve nodded dumbly, “I already fucked you stupid, all my lifelong dreams have been fulfilled.”
“I’m gonna cum. Daddy, gonna–” Steve didn’t manage to get the words out when his orgasm shot through him, shooting cum over Eddie’s shirt (Steve’s shirt that looked amazing when stained in his cum while Eddie was wearing it.)
“Yeah, hold on, right there with you, baby,” Eddie whispered, “Gonna fill you up, yeah?” Steve nodded, only being held up by Eddie’s leg and arms wrapping around him as Eddie fucked further inside him, using him, loving him. “You’re so good, baby, you’ll make an amazing mommy, baby,” Eddie whispered, his voice faltering as he came, warmth filling Steve, it felt strange through the condom.
Eddie thrusted a few more times before pulling out, discarding the condom and pulling Steve into his arms, kissing him senseless. “You’re amazing, Steve, god, you’re perfect.”
“Jeff told me,” Steve said, exasperated, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but he…he told me you wouldn’t stop talking about me in high school and I…I didn’t want you to be dead because I wanted you, I wanted you so much and you’re here, you’re really here…”
“I know, I know I am,” Eddie whispered, brushing his fingers through Steve’s hair over and over again.
“I know it’s all sudden and…I just…I fell in love with you, Eddie,” Steve confessed, feeling like a million tons were taken off his chest. Eddie smiled and looked into his eyes, his own sparkling with tears. “If you don’t want this, if you don’t want to be together, I can give you time but please…please don’t leave me again.”
“I’ve loved you for years, baby, there’s no one I’d rather be with.” Eddie sealed the words with a kiss to Steve’s forehead.
Dear Eddie,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but it’s been a day since they took your body. I’ve been a complete mess. I read Max’s letter and haven’t cried harder in my life. She didn’t deserve it. But you didn’t either, you didn’t even know. Maybe in another life, we could have been friends. I keep replaying every word you said to me, trying to rearrange them into something you would want me to know. You barely knew me and I barely knew you, but I hope you know that I saw you breathe, I saw you wake up, I know you meant to stay with me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do just to replay that night and as much as I hate myself for saying this, I think I would have run to save you first. El saved Max, she had many people trying to save her and they did. She’s alive. But so are you, and I’m the only one who believes it. So I wish that I saved you instead of telling you not to be a hero. Because you are a hero. You were Dustin’s hero. You’re my hero. It sounds so stupid, but you really are. You saved Dustin and I couldn’t thank you enough. You saved me and my friends and I want to save you, too. Sorry.
Love, Steve.