Chapter Text
« Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special ».
ーWham!, 1986.
After what felt like half an hour of uninterrupted chiming, Jeongguk realized his phone wouldn't stop ringing anytime soon. Surrounded by dirty take out boxes, an army of empty water bottles and some leftover popcorn, he turned off his laptop before leaving it on the couch next to him with a sigh.
The tune Hoseok had put as his ringtone —«That that» by Psy— was starting to get on his nerves. If only he knew where his phone was, among all the mess he had created over the weekend, he would be able to stop it.
Jeongguk whined pitifully while Psy's « Can you feel it? » echoed through the apartment for the thousandth time. He stood up, clad in old sweats and a stained t-shirt, and stretched his back that ached after being 24 hours in the same position. While searching for the damned phone, Jeongguk tried to ignore an impending headache as well. He was used to the feeling of dizziness given by the anti-depressants he was taking, anyway.
After searching through the clutter on the coffee table and removing all the cushions from the sofa with more aggressiveness than necessary, Jeongguk finally realized he must have forgotten the phone in his room on Friday night ーwhen he did sleep in his bedー. He resignedly padded towards there and avoided looking into the mirror in the hall, not keen on seeing his greasy raven hair and the bags under his red eyes.
He only had time to see that there were 26 missed calls when the device started ringing again, which prompted him to answer on impulse, regretting it the next second.
“Guk-ah, you alive?”, inquired a raspy, quiet voice , “I was about to send Hob-ha your way”.
The idea made him scoff while he let his body fall among the untidy pillow mountain on top of his bed, resting his back against the headboard. He had thought that Namjoon and Hoseok would know, by now, that there was not much they could do about his low days.
“26 missed calls, really? Couldn't you try later, hyung? I was watching something and fucking Psy kinda ruined it”, Jeongguk complained, balancing the slippers on his toes while his feet hang from the side of the bed.
“How did you manage to keep watching for almost half an hour with the fucking sound on? You worry me, Guk”, he heard Namjoon sigh.
“With the same determination someone keeps calling for a straight half hour, hyung”, Jeongguk countered, shaking his head.
“Ok, whatever”, Namjoon dropped it, his next words catching Jeongguk by surprise: “I... I'm sorry, Jeongguk”.
He stopped moving his foot, dropping the slippers to hug his legs to his chest, a confused frown crumpling his face while the duvet crinkled under the movement.
“What's up?”Jeongguk probed, trying to remain casual both in his wording and his tone, “Is something wrong with the biz?”.
In a second, thousands of disastrous possibilities had invaded his mind, all of which had a common denominator: they had to close the agency and Jeongguk would end up bankrupt and homeless.
“No, no!”, Namjoon rushed to say, well aware of Jeongguk's anxious nature after years of being his friend and associate, “it's nothing like that. It does have to do with the biz but..., uh...”, Jeongguk heard a sharp intake of breath —a moment of hesitation—, “it's more... personal”.
Jeongguk pinched the bridge of his nose, because that could only mean one thing, “Hyung, for the sake of our friendship”, he seethed, “I hope that it has nothing to do with Jimin and Yoongi-hyung's wedding”.
“I'm so sorry”, Namjoon repeated after a tense minute of silence.
Jeongguk closed his eyes. The dull headache he had been nursing raised itself like a wave of pain ramming into his skull; he could feel his temples throbbing with it. He remained silent, and Namjoon took the fact that he didn't hang up as a sign to continue.
“I'm so sorry, Jeongguk, but... You'll have to take care of the rest of it? I'm, uh, unwell... There's no way around it, the doctors have prescribed-”
“W-what?”, Jeongguk stuttered, “what do you mean you're unwell? What's wrong?”
“Yeah, hm...I had a car accident yesterday. Or not, wait, it was Friday night, uh..., I'm calling from the hospital”, Namjoon explained.
“A car accident”, the other echoed, “hyung, you don’t drive”.
“I was on my bike. They had me on the operating table for like… 4 hours, I think. Really fucked up my organs and stuff. I feel like shit”.
“Uh- huh”, Jeongguk croaked.
He felt heat pooling at the back of his eyes, which soon started gliding down his cheeks in the form of tears. He tried to rationalize the situation: «Namjoon-hyung could have died», but it was even scarier when put into words. He gulped down the bile that was raising up his throat, trying to resist the urge to vomit; it felt like his stomach had turned inside out.
When he spoke next, it came out as a trembling whisper, the panic latent in his tone.“How are you? Where are you? Are you allowed visits? Can I-”.
“I'm not allowed visitors yet-” Namjoon started, but then his voice died down. Jeongguk heard someone else speaking to his friend; the sound came muffled through the receiver so he couldn't decipher what they were saying. “Look”, Namjoon chuckled awkwardly, “the nurse here just scolded me 'cause I should be sleeping”.
“Okay, I'll let you sleep, then”, Jeongguk quickly agreed, anxious about his hyung's health.
“Wait”, Namjoon uttered, “we need to talk about Jimin and Yoongi's wedding. That's why I called”.
Jeongguk put the phone on speaker on top of the duvet to be able to massage his scalp, putting special pressure behind his ears and on either side of his nape.
“Don't you always tell me not to put work over health, hyung?”, he accused, “so follow your own advice”. Jeongguk paused for a second and focused on the strain he felt in his lungs while he forced himself to breathe deeply in and out. “Also, I'm so sorry for how bitchy I've been just now and for not picking up the phone... Don't worry about a thing, about the wedding, I'll take care of it”, he declared, satisfied with how firm and serene he sounded.
“We can call it off”, Namjoon offered after a moment of silence filled with pitiful reflection.
“That would be extremely bad for business”, Jeongguk pondered out loud, for his benefit as well as Namjoon's. “I'll take care of it, hyung” he repeated, “it's already been a year almost, anyway”, he added as an afterthought, unconsciously biting his nails.
“I'm so sorry, Jeongguk-ah. You don't know how sorry I am”.
Jeongguk hushed him with a soft smile curving his lips, creating dimples on the cheeks where salty trails were still wet.
“Don't be stupid, hyung. I'm the one who's sorry for being an asshole right now, and I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't care about anything else”, Jeongguk’s chest heaved with another deep inhale, “please, I love you, okay? I really couldn't care less, alright?”
“Okay, okay. I love you too, Gukkie. Good night, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? And I'm still sorry”, answered Namjoon.
Jeongguk groaned. “Don't be stupid! Bye, hyung”.
“Bye, Guk”.
As soon as the call ended, Jeongguk let his body tumble horizontally on the bed and stretched until he was sprawled in the middle of it, looking at the ceiling although his eyes were unfocused. As in a daze, he dried his tears with the back of his hand and shook his head.
It turned out having someone he loved coming close to death was shocking enough to put an early stop to his weekly depressive episode; or so he would think two hours later, when he'd finish cleaning and tidying up the apartment.
Soon, night came and Jeongguk went to bed with the sour taste of a pill melting under his tongue to help him fall asleep. An hour later, when his mind kept wandering towards the new project he would have to take over in Namjoon's absence, he took another one. He tossed and turned under the covers, fearing the effects the Min-Park wedding would have on his health, because he hadn't even started working on it but he already felt like he couldn't breath.
A gorgeous face with a sweet smile and a splash of pink hair was the last thing he saw behind his eyelids, before falling asleep.
★*⍋*♡*⍋*★
Jeongguk unclenched his white-knuckled fist, letting a pen fall on top of the table. The neon office lights reflected coldly on the huge stacks of samples and schedules concerning the upcoming wedding: his new, unwelcome job.
“Just give me two days to sort all of this out”, standing behind him, Hoseok kept blabbering on about everything and nothing while trying to make sense of Namjoon's chaos, “see, there's a method, it's just very, huh... organic”.
“If you say so”, Jeongguk chuckled, sagging in Namjoon's chair.
Jeongguk's eyes wandered around the room, distracted, until they came upon a frame relegated to the lower part of a bookshelf, almost hidden. The picture showed five boys: arms pressed around each other tightly, expressions happy and enthusiastic to the point one could almost hear how whimsically loud they must have been when the photo was taken. Jeongguk narrowed his eyes, focusing on his younger, joyful self from four years ago. He was right in the middle of the picture; Yoongi and Hoseok were carrying him, making a chair with their arms, while Namjoon poked Yoongi's cheek and Jimin hugged Hoseok from the side.
Hoseok from the present moment was saying something, so Jeongguk had to make an effort to bring his attention back to him, away from those ーdefinitely happierー times.
“Sorry?”, he mumbled.
“I knew you were not listening”, the eldest sighed, used to Jeongguk's tendency to space out at any given time, “I was saying that I'm very proud of how you are handling this, Guk”.
“It's only been a few hours”, the other shrugged.
“Yes, well, accident or not, you could've sent Namjoon to hell and canceled the wedding, but you didn't”.
Hoseok turned the chair around to face him, and Jeongguk realized he had been frantically tapping the armrest with his fingers when his friend and assistant took his hand in both of his.
“Like we talked with Namjoon, I will involve myself more than I usually do”, he continued, “and, well... We both know Jimin and Yoongi, and their taste, so that will be easy; not to mention almost all of the work is done. All in all, we just need to survive the last two months’ preparations and the wedding itself”, he cheered.
Jeongguk felt a cold shiver down his spine thinking about that date. “Right”, he exhaled sharply, “I hated Christmas already... with everything that happened. It couldn't get any worse”, he remarked, his lips pressed into a thin line.
For a second, they both looked at all the Christmas themed wedding samples and references that crowded the table. So far, it looked like Namjoon had been concocting an overwhelming party of silver and red.
“Yeah…”, Hoseok agreed with a grimace, “the Christmas theme it's a lot, even more if you consider how things went down, not gonna lie”, he shook his head as if talking to himself, “but at the same time, it makes sense, precisely because of how it happened. The part where they broke up and made up on Christmas?”, Hoseok bit his lower lip, momentarily lost in contemplation. He shook his head again, as if waking from a trance, and gave Jeongguk a sympathizing gaze. “Anyway, you know Jimin is campy as hell, and that gives us some kind of freedom over everything that we still have to do. We won't need his feedback so much because the basics were already covered by Namjoon, so we'll go from there”.
“What about Yoongi?” Jeongguk heard himself whisper, ducking his head.
“You know how he is. He just gave Jimin free rein to do whatever he wants”, Hoseok smiled apologetically.
He knew that speaking about them was always difficult for Jeongguk; never mind planning their wedding.
“Of course”, Jeongguk nodded. He gently let Hoseok's hands fall and stood up, absent-mindedly threading a hand through his hair, “has Namjoon delivered the good news already?” he wondered, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“I guess so. I should call Jimin before lunch”, his friend commented, letting himself fall on the chair with a pensive sigh. “Poor Namjoon. He didn't want to let them down, even though he knew it would make you uncomfortable, but look what happened in the end!” he rubbed his chin, “because I knew you are too good of a person to do it, you should know that I had the pleasure of delivering the «I told you so» myself”.
Hoseok's mood was infectious, as always, and Jeongguk found himself indulging in a soft eye-wrinkling smile.
“Maybe it's a good thing, though, you know? Maybe-, maybe it will help”, Hoseok quietly added.
Jeongguk's smile faltered and he started to make way for the door while his friend pretended to busy himself with the papers on top of the desk again.
“Believe me, I am so tired of feeling like this”, Jeongguk felt as if he was going to choke, trying to take a hold of his emotions. “Anything that helps would be welcome”, he sighed, crossing the threshold, and mumbled to himself, “...I just doubt this is it”.
★*⍋*♡*⍋*★
Two days after that, Jimin was standing in front of him, curving his lips upward in a hesitant smile; his warm presence under dim golden lighting hitting Jeongguk like a truck. Jimin had always had a way of making people feel special and actually listened to, so when his bright eyes locked with Jeongguk's, the latter felt it all over again; even if Jimin's soft smile was unsure now; his usually bright demeanor subdued.
Strangely, it felt like they hadn't stopped seeing each other; but then again, the truth was that it had been almost a year since he last saw Jimin ーor Yoongi, for that matterー.
“Gukkie”, Jimin muttered under his breath, standing up from his velvet seat in the middle of the high-end restaurant.
“Jimin-hyung”, Jeongguk replied with as blank a face as he could muster, attaching the honorific to Jimin's name and hoping that the other would get the hint and address him more formally.
Jeongguk certainly wasn't in the mood to be called Gukkie by his ex-friend; or was it ex-boyfriend? It didn't even matter.
Jimin sat down again after Jeongguk, who was already suffocating. The place was big and airy, but everything was covered in pink velvet and plants, and for a moment he literally felt like the oxygen in the room was being drained by the army of monsteras and aspidistras that covered every corner.
“I like this place, it's chic”, Jimin commented in a clear effort to break the ice.
“It's nice”, Jeongguk lied, tugging at his shirt collar.
“So, hmm... It’s so nice to see you again, Jeongguk-ah”, Jimin murmured, voice too laced with affection for Jeongguk's liking.
A waiter came by to ask their orders and Jeongguk asked the first option on the menu without looking, because he wasn't going to eat it. His stomach wouldn't handle food in that circumstance anyway. On the other end of the table, Jimin was threading a hand through his blonde dyed hair while looking at his menu, probably to ease his own nerves, and Jeongguk followed the movement with a pensive gaze. Right after, his eyes were involuntarily drawn to the salmon pink walls.
He sighed.
“Yes, well. It's nice to see you too”, he lied again with a tense smile after the waiter had left.
“I-I'm sorry, though”, Jimin mused, his eyes shining with regret, maybe even guilt. Whatever it was, Jeongguk couldn't bear it, “I wanted to meet with you, but not like this, Jeonggukie. Iー”.
“Listen, hyung, this is uncomfortable for the both of us, so let's keep it professional, okay?”, he interrupted before the other could start talking about things he didn't even want to think about. Hurtful things. “What's in the past is in the past, so I would appreciate if we don't talk about it”, he tried to smile but it came out too tight, too fake, “let's focus on the wedding, which will be over in a month, and then we'll each go our own way”.
“Of course, okay. Whatever makes you more comfortable, Gukkie”, Jimin agreed, nodding his head.
“Don't call me that, please”, Jeongguk sighed, turning his face away. Not even ten minutes had passed since he sat there and he was already bouncing his foot under the table.
“Sorry”, Jimin blubbered, raking the same hand through his hair again. It was starting to look like a disheveled mess, but it wouldn't make him less stunning, though. He was just too beautiful. “Listen, I wanted to see you in person...”, Jimin started again, “...because I’ve got an idea to make this easier”.
Jeongguk perked up at that, his big eyes curious and unguarded for the first time since he stepped foot in that upscale place. He silently raised a hand in Jimin's direction to indicate to him to continue.
“Do you remember my best friend from childhood, Tae-tae? Kim Taehyung?”.
At that moment, a waiter came back with their orders, and they both acknowledged their presence briefly with a nod and a quiet «thank you».
“Yeah, I remember”, Jeongguk tilted his head, not leaving enough space for an uncomfortable silence to grow after the interruption, “never knew him in person 'cause he was overseas”.
“That's right. He's my man of honorー, maid of honor..., I don't know what people call it; it doesn't matter, really. He has been helping me big time with the wedding since the beginning”.
“Okay?” Jeongguk replied, poking his steak with a knife without really cutting it and wondering where this was going.
“So”, Jimin fidgeted in his seat, “I thought that if it's alright with you, he could replace me from now on. I'll have the final say in everything, of course, but aren't maids of honor supposed to do most of the work anyway?” he chuckled weakly, “he knows me better than myself, so I'm sure there'd be no problems''.
A stunned silence, and then:
“Are you sure?”, Jeongguk croaked, crossing his legs under the table.
“I am. Also, if he fucks up, the responsibility will fall on him, not you”, Jimin reassured him, “although I'm sure everything will turn out great”, he smiled faintly yet again.
Jeongguk uncrossed his legs, stretched them and crossed them again. This turn of events wasn't standard procedure, but in any case, planning your ex's wedding wasn't either, and he needed all the help he could get, even if it came in the form of a stranger like Kim Taehyung.
Furthermore, there was a time when Jeongguk would have been excited to finally meet the boy Jimin told his friends so much about. Because that's what they all were, before everything happened; the best tight-knit group of friends.
In fact, even at that moment he caught himself thinking that if Taehyung was Jimin's best friend, he had to be a nice person, but then he rubbed his forehead because his perception of Jimin being a good person had been proved to be skewed... Just like Yoongi's.
Or had it?
After what felt like an hour due to the tension hanging in the air, but must have been less than a minute, Jeongguk finally spoke:
“Okay... I guess that would really make me more comfortable”, he sipped on his water and gulped the liquid down, licking his lips, “thank you”, he added, avoiding Jimin's eyes.
“It's the least I can do, Guー, Jeongguk. I'm gonna try to make things as easy as I can for you, okay? I promise”, Jimin mused, looking down at his lap, “and I'm sorry you got dragged into this, we really should've thought about it before”.
Jeongguk couldn't avoid but cringe at Jimin's compassionate tone ーthe audacity of the man to pretend that he cared!ー. He bit his lower lip, his eyelids weighting down, blocking the usual shine in his starry eyes. He felt his pulse in his temple; maybe he was about to bust a vein. It surely felt like it.
“You mean before you asked Namjoon to plan this, or before the shit you pulled on me last year?”, he replied, letting out a breathless, weak laugh, “if you thought before doing things in general, you wouldn't need to make shit easier now”.
Jimin remained silent, his lips pursed, and then a shaky breath escaped his mouth while a single tear fell down his cheek. Jeongguk shook his head wearing a nasty smirk on his face, like a mask that would hide the effect Jimin's glassy eyes had on him; he stood up and left without looking back.
«You are not the one who gets to cry», he wanted to yell. He didn't do it, though: he knew from experience that yelling at Jimin wouldn't make it hurt any less.
★*⍋*♡*⍋*★
Hoseok had dutifully scheduled brunch with Kim Taehyung three days after the meeting with Jimin. Jeongguk thought it couldn't get any worse than that encounter, but still, he tried to show up with a clear mind and gentle thoughts, which meant he had to take half a valium pill in order to calm himself down enough to get out of his apartment that morning.
The event planner was waiting outside the coffee shop Hoseok had planned for them to meet at. It was a chilly and gray November day, and the glass windows of the shop were cold and hard against his back. He had already seen Namjoon's moodboard for the catering choices, but he decided to inspect it again with the intention of leaving as soon as Kim's tardiness reached a half-hour-long absence.
Jeongguk had been there fifteen minutes when a white convertible pulled up right in front of him on the street, claiming his attention. There was a blond man at the wheel who had his hands wrapped around a broad-shouldered brunette, and they were kissing in a way that was far too sensual for a weekday morning.
He averted his gaze with a little frown on his lips and rolled his eyes. However, he was unable to stop his curiosity, discreetly bringing them back to the couple when the handsome one tried to extricate himself from the blond’s embrace, only for the latter to wrap an arm around his neck more tightly, grasping his brown curls.
Jeongguk tried to go back to his phone (unsuccessfully). He was slightly flustered by the blatant public displays of affection, that he would rather classify more as lust than affection, by the way the man at the wheel was trying to reach the other's lap with his palm. Nevertheless, the brunette finally took that wandering hand, stopping his lover, and proceeded to firmly hold him away enough to get himself out of the car.
Jeongguk felt oddly relieved that the blond laughed goodnaturedly at that, instead of making a scene: witnessing a lovers’ quarrel wasn't on top of the list of things he wanted to do that morning, or ever.
The handsome stranger turned around after waving goodbye and Jeongguk busied himself with the screen again, before he could catch him staring. He grew nervous when the man's steps lingered in front of the coffee shop, polished brown oxfords stopping right next to him, shining in the periphery of his vision.
Jeongguk briefly took a peek to find a recognizable face looking at him ーthe most beautiful, unforgettable face he had only ever seen in picturesー, even when it was partly hidden behind some horribly big LV sunglasses.
“Jeongguk-ssi”, the man beamed with a deep voice and a boxy smile.
“Kim Taehyung-ssi”, Jeongguk mumbled, the phone almost slipping from his hands.
He was in shock; the velvety voice unraveling the last threads of composure Jeongguk might have been able to retain in the presence of such a man. Meanwhile, Taehyung was nodding enthusiastically with yet another welcoming smile that made Jeongguk avert his eyes. If only the brunette hadn't been making out with his boyfriend in front of him just now, he would perhaps be less overwhelmed by how hot he was.
Jeongguk wanted to pout, because the sunglasses didn't help either: making him intimidating and adding to his attractiveness at the same time.
“Do you mind if we go to a store round the corner? Or do you wanna have coffee first? I just need a few things”, Taehyung said without preambles and a lopsided smile.
A raspy quality could be heard under the deep cadence of his voice, and Jeongguk blushed while he wondered if convertible boy was the cause of that. He looked briefly at the now empty street, past Taehyung's broad shoulders, and realized the blonde must have left as soon as the other got out of the car.
Jeongguk smiled tensely because he just wanted to have the scheduled coffee and leave.
“No, of course. Let's go”, he replied instead.
“It's nice to finally meet you”, Taehyung said then, starting to walk with Jeongguk in stride.
“I bet”, Jeongguk replied with a sour smirk.
The other looked at him with a soft curve to his lips and an appraising gaze before speaking next.
“Well, we almost met more times than I can count. Through the years I mean”, the brunette commented, deliberately ignoring Jeongguk's reply. “I met all the others at some point or another: Hobi-hyung, Namjoon-hyung, Yoongi-hyung...”, he bit his lower lip, the conversation in danger of fading into the noisy street after that. “I've always wanted to meet you, though. The baby of the family, right?”
Jeongguk exhaled forcibly while his gut clenched, letting his feet fall into a sharp stop.
“Listen, you're Jimin's best friendー”.
“That's me”, Taehyung chimed in with a dazzling smile that made the younger blink and avoid his eyes.
“Then you're aware of everything that went down last year, including the fact that we don't talk anymore”, Jeongguk didn't notice he had started walking again, and quicker this time, until Taehyung grabbed him by the arm.
“Hey, we're here”, the brunette uttered, casually tugging his arm towards the door, which he then proceeded to open for him.
Jeongguk sighed and stepped inside, distancing himself from Taehyung until a shop assistant approached him and he realized they were in a high-end clothing store. Before Jeongguk had time to reply to the assistant, the brunette stepped in to ask for a full outfit; shoes, accessories and all.
The last thing Jeongguk had expected from that morning ーthe nervous wreck that he wasー, was a makeover scene to unfold in front of him. However, as Taehyung dragged him by the arm ーfor the second timeー, and asked him to make himself comfortable in front of the changing room, he resigned to his inevitable fate, not without an involuntary pout.
He looked at the ceiling, comfortably reclined on a emerald velvet couch with silken cushions, while thinking that Taehyung and him seemed to be a nasty combination of opposites, as in: someone used to getting their way, and someone who had a hard time saying no. Frustration brewed inside Jeongguk, because he didn’t used to be like this, but social anxiety and depression can do that to a person.
After a short time, Taehyung emerged from the changing room.
“I just think it's a shame”, he commented.
Jeongguk didn't reply immediately, because he was mesmerized by the man's aura now that he was wearing a herringbone brown suit, paired with polished new loafers and no sunglasses. His hair remained a mess of chocolate curls and Jeongguk clutched a pillow to dispel the urge to comb it away from his beautiful face. He only realized he had been staring when Taehyung's eyes locked on his; they were amber coloured, like a tiger's, and his gaze pierced through Jeongguk’s soul probably like claws would.
“What is?”, he quietly muttered, trying to hide the extent to which the other’s presence rattled him.
“That you don't talk anymore”, the other chuckled, but there wasn't any warmth to it, “like the song”.
Jeongguk shrugged and focused on the silken cushion on his lap, clearing his throat.
“I know it's awkward, but I would prefer that we refrain from discussing it, you know?”, he felt as though he might vomit, but he needed to set clear boundaries here ーtiger eyes or notー, “this situation is kind of a mess, so I just want to focus on the wedding. I would appreciate it if we could keep the talk about them around that”.
“That's fine with me”, Taehyung replied with a sad smile, and Jeongguk hated him a bit for that. It bore a striking resemblance to the manner in which Jimin had regarded him three days prior, with a combination of compassion and pity.
“Right”, Jeongguk nodded, “are we done?”.
“With the talk?”, Taehyung gave him a cheeky grin.
“Nah, with the makeover”, Jeongguk answered, rolling his eyes.
“I don't know, what do you think?”, Taehyung raised his hands, showing the perfect fit, only to put them in his pockets to strike another pose. “Do you like it?”, he asked with a wink.
Maybe it was because it had been a while since he had gotten laid, or maybe it had been the way Taehyung had made out with that boy earlier, showcasing what his heart-shaped lips and large hands could do, but Jeongguk had to try really hard not to drool right then and there. The double-breasted suit was elegantly belted, showing off the man's godlike waist-to-shoulder proportion, but still, his attractiveness shouldn’t bother Jeongguk as much as it did.
“Yes”, the younger said, feeling heat coloring his skin in a traitorous blush, from his neck right up to his ears. “I mean, it looks g-good on you, yeah”, he stammered.
Jeongguk could see the wrinkles in Taehyung's eyes when he gave him a smile this time around.
“Okay, then. Let's go grab our coffee, shall we?”, the brunette exclaimed, and Jeongguk found himself following after him again.
He thought about asking why Taehyung needed the new clothes in the first place, but discarded the idea as quickly as it came; it wasn't any of his business anyway.
After paying, they went back to the same cafeteria as before and Jeongguk was surprised when Taehyung ordered a chai latte with whipped cream and sprinkles on top with a piece of strawberry cake on the side, making his ice latte look boring and kind of sad.
“Do you want some?”, Taehyung gestured at the cake once they were comfortably settled in a window seat.
“No, thank you”, Jeongguk murmured, avoiding his eyes yet again.
He sipped on his latte while Taehyung ate the cake with a happy pout. His cheeks looked extra pinchable, even more so when he was cutely devouring spoonfuls of whipped cream. The younger couldn’t avoid feeling a healthy amount of jealousy at his unblemished brown skin, feeling self-conscious of the little marks from teenage acne that he still carried. They were hardly noticeable, but Jeongguk rested his cheek in one hand, as if to cover some part of it, at least.
“I'm sorry I made you go shopping. I didn't have time to go home to change after a night out”, Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, smirking suggestively at Jeongguk, “I honestly didn't want to be around someone as hot as you in yesterday's clothes, especially not for the first time we meet”.
Jeongguk choked on his coffee. By the way Taehyung was talking, maybe the man who dropped him was not his boyfriend. Or maybe he was? Either way, Taehyung's gorgeous face and flirty ways screamed trouble, so Jeongguk decided to give him a stern look all the while sipping on his coffee, trying to appear as unbothered as he could.
“So”, Taehyung continued when he realized he wasn’t going to get an answer, “how are we gonna do this?”, he exclaimed between mouthfuls of cake, “to be honest, it's a relief that Jiminie doesn't come to these planning things anymore. He was dragging me to all of them anyway. Now I'll have the benefit of spending them alone with you and no one else”, he chuckled with a boxy smile after finishing his last spoonful, “no more husband-to-be hysterics”.
Jeongguk wondered if he would be able to stop blushing at some point. He also couldn’t help the corner of his lips from twitching upwards; it was impossible to resist Taehyung's charm.
“I bet he gave you and Namjoon a difficult time”.
“Are you kidding me? He drove me crazy! Namjoon-hyung, though” he made a gesture with his hands as if his head exploded, “he's unbreakable. Such a professional”.
“A Jimin-handler professional”, Jeongguk couldn't avoid saying with a chuckle.
Taehyung laughed, loud and airy, making his cheeks look like little bread buns once again.
“It's a matter of survival right?”, he grinned. “I wish I had the patience, but I don't. That's why I'm very happy with this, Jeongguk-ssi”.
“I'm glad...”, Jeongguk blushed some more, avoiding the other's eyes. His gaze was just too warm, and it made him feel soft all over, so he scurried to find something else to say. “Are you here just for the wedding?”.
“No”, Taehyung said, waving his spoon and shaking his head with a grin, “I’m here to stay for a long time, I hope. I have an exhibition coming up in abouuut… a year or so, as well”.
“I see”.
“Do you like art? Wait”, the brunette interrupted himself, “that was a trick question: I know you do. Do you still take pictures?”, he asked with a satisfied grin on his face.
The raven-haired felt a tickling sensation run up his spine. Clearly Taehyung had paid attention to Jimin's stories about him. “Sometimes…, although lately not so much, to be honest”.
“Could you showー”.
The warmth Jeongguk had been starting to feel disappeared as soon as his phone buzzed with an alarm. “DNA, J-Hope’s version” made some heads turn through the cafeteria.
“One second”, he murmured, his shoulders sagging a bit: with the earlier shopping stop they made, it was already time for him to go to another meeting.
It was like a spell had been broken with that realization: he had to leave, and they hadn't even talked about the wedding plans at all; however, he shouldn’t forget that this was all work.
He couldn’t be swayed by Taehyung’s friendly ways: the farther removed he remained from Jimin and Yoongi’s circle, the better. He already had to bear with Hoseok and Namjoon’s attempts at concealing their sadness about it all; there was no need for Taehyung to get caught in the middle as well.
With that in mind, Jeongguk excused himself quickly, mumbling about how they'd be in contact before rushing out of the coffee shop. He only spared the man a dismissive wave as a goodbye before going through the door, leaving a very confused Taehyung behind.
Work was piling up in Namjoon’s absence, so Jeongguk didn't have time to lose anyway… Much less with Jimin's best friend.
★*⍋*♡*⍋*★
Hours passed and Jeongguk kept on overthinking and overanalyzing his first meeting with Taehyung. Moreover, to distract himself from the fact that he was extremely attracted to him, he focused on all the bad aspects of it, in a way that he ended up believing a distorted version of the events; the one painted in the most negative light possible.
After all, ーJeongguk reasoned with himselfー, Taehyung had been late; he had also been inconsiderate of Jeongguk’s timing; and he looked like a player. Mainly, because he had been making out with a guy, and not an hour later he was calling Jeongguk hot to his face.
Nevermind if the comment on Jeongguk’s hotness had been platonic or simply playful, or that promiscuity wasn't a legitimate aspect to judge anyone’s character. It didn’t matter that he was nice and kind either, when weighed against the most important thing of all: the fact that he was Jimin's best friend, which outshined any positive points Taehyung could ever score in his favor.
Needless to say, when Park Jimin came into the picture, Jeongguk’s rationality went out of the window. What if Taehyung and Jimin had met later to talk about how pathetic he was? How destroyed, depressed and, well, ugly?, he thought.
If Jeongguk hadn’t been in a sensitive state of mind, maybe he would have realized that Jimin and Taehyung would never think or speak about him pejoratively. As it was, though, anxiety ruled his mind, so he had to take another pill that night to be able to sleep.
Chapter 2: Save me from tears
Notes:
Take into account our world is an imaginary united Korea where gay marriage is legal.
Happy reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk could hear Hoseok mumbling through a sandwich bite the day after, “how did it go with Tae? He's the best, isn't he?”
His friend's enthusiasm was palpable even through the car speakers, and Jeongguk found himself raising his eyebrows although the other couldn't see him.
“Is he, now?”, the raven-haired scoffed, “he was late, then he literally made out in front of me for five minutes with some boy in a convertible, and then he made me accompany him to buy himself some fucking Louis Vuitton suit, Hob-ah”. He pulled over beside a beautiful building while he kept on complaining, “we barely had time to have a coffee, let alone talk about anything regarding the wedding, before I had to run to the Choi's appointment”.
“Come on, he isn't that bad; he's on vacation! It's not like this is work for him, Gukkie”, Hoseok insisted, “of course he's not going to be as disciplined as you are about it”.
“I know, but we barely reached the subject, hyung, and I was almost late to Choi's, and you know I hate it. I just can'tー, can't be late!”, Jeongguk groaned, shaking his head and tapping a rhythm on the steering wheel of the parked car.
“Did you talk about, uhm , you know, ...them?”.
“You can say their names Hoseok-hyung”, Jeongguk crossed his arms over his chest and prodded his cheek with his tongue. “I'm not made of glass”.
“Did you, or did you not?”, Hoseok inquired in a flat tone.
Jeongguk took the time to check himself in the mirror. There wasn’t a wrinkle in sight on his black suit, nor a single hair out of place from his little ponytail, but he frowned, unconvinced by the hairstyle.
“Jeonggukー”.
“Yeah, we did, briefly. I established my boundaries, okay?”, he finally replied in a more defensive tone than he would have liked.
“Yes, okay, that's cool”. After a second or two, Hoseok’s voice resumed his usual playfulness when he added: “keep an open mind, yes? Today you've got catering together, I'm sure you'll like him once you get to know him”.
“If you say so, hyung”.
“Give him a chance, Guk-ah”.
Jeongguk rolled his eyes but agreed before saying goodbye. Then, he got out of his white Audi before looking around for Taehyung, giving a light kick to the tire closest to him when he didn't see any traces of the brunette anywhere around. After a while, he turned to lean against the side of the car, fidgeting with the phone in his hands and hoping that Taehyung wouldn’t be too late today, even though he didn’t have anything else on his schedule after this anyway.
He told himself it shouldn't surprise him when Taehyung came out of a Bentley ten minutes later on the other side of the street. The person that drove him there, ーa woman this timeー, stepped out of the car as well to meet him in front of it: her body leaning on top of the hood with Taehyung between her legs. Jeongguk's hands tightened into fists while Taehyung's clutched the woman's waist, being brought closer to her by her arms around his neck. Their lips met in a passionate kiss while Jeongguk stiffened and turned his face away.
He hesitated for just a second before leaving the place by his car. He would wait for Taehyung inside instead of having a repeat of yesterday, thank you very much .
Without looking back, Jeongguk crossed an imposing wrought iron gate he was familiar with, eager to reach the place where they were supposed to do some tasting for the catering. The path he was walking on split a symmetrical garden in half. Faux ancient greek marble statues lined its sides amidst the greenery, complementing the neoclassical style of the building up front. It was whimsical and a bit tacky, but so were weddings. This restaurant ーthe face of an exclusive catering serviceー, was a popular place to book wedding venues; not for Jimin and Yoongi, though. Theirs would be an over the top three-day wedding at a country estate in the middle of winter, befitting someone as rich as the renowned rapper Agust D and his award winning contemporary dancer fiancé.
Jeongguk exhaled and started to drag his feet on the cobblestones when he heard Taehyung calling his name.
“Gukkie-ssi!”, he heard again.
“My name's Jeongguk, you know?”, he replied as Taehyung drew nearer.
Although he had stopped to wait for the hyung, Jeongguk still gave him his back. He needed a minute in order to compose himself: he didn’t want Taehyung to know how flustered he made him.
“Okay, you can drop the ssi as well then, Jeongguk”, Taehyung leaned closer, smacking his bicep in a playful greeting.
“Let's go”, Jeongguk hissed through a clenched jaw, resuming a brisk pace towards the double crystal doors.
Taehyung wore a black varsity jacket and gray jeans this time; which didn’t stop him from looking like a model. It made Jeongguk rub his own forehead, eyes pointed at their destination and a curse under his breath.
Once inside, they were quickly greeted by Cha Eunwoo, who stood behind the entrance desk. Jeongguk had worked with him many times before, till the point they had become friends, as they were both born in 1997. Before last-year's Christmas, he used to go out with him more often than not, because Eunwoo was fun and nice. At the warmth of his greeting, Jeongguk realized that maybe he had missed him, just as he missed partying and hanging out with the rest of his friends. It was a shame that he didn't have enough strength to socially interact outside of work anymore: he could only be reached by Namjoon and Hoseok, and even them he avoided a lot.
Putting on a fake smile, Jeongguk tried to ignore the claw of guilt that gnawed at his chest, to prevent it from dampening the happiness this reunion brought him.
“Hey, Jeongguk!”, the handsome man said while Taehyung waited a few steps back, observing their interaction.
“Hi, Eunwoo. How's it going?”, Jeongguk returned the genuine grin, if a little shyly.
“Fine, what about you? Man, it's been a while! We should go out sometime you know? I mean it”, Eunwoo cocked his head and looked him in the eyes, a small smile on his lips, “I miss you”, he added, gripping Jeongguk's shoulder in a comforting manner.
Taehyung chose that moment to clear his throat, making Eunwoo let Jeongguk’s upper arm go as if it burned his hand.
“This is Taehyung. He's here in place of...”, Jeongguk couldn't finish the phrase when he saw the look in Eunwoo's eyes: that same damn look of pity everybody was looking at him with these days. Tendrils of shame sprouted in his mind to accompany the previous guilt, and not much of the interaction felt warm anymore. Hence, he rubbed the back of his neck and finished mumbling Jimin and Yoongi's names with a tense smile.
“Of course, I understand. Better get on with it, right?” Eunwoo replied with an understanding smile that Jeongguk didn't appreciate either. “Follow me”.
In less than ten minutes they were being served a variety of luxurious dishes on the first floor terrace. They were alone in the beautiful space decorated with more white flowers than anybody could need; the view of the garden and the city as its backdrop was incredible; and Jeongguk's shoulders tensed, sitting at one end of that table for two, because the scenario was pretty date-like. It was slightly uncomfortable, but it also made him actually appreciate Taehyung's presence for the first time; he was grateful to be put in this situation with him instead of Jimin. That would've been a nightmare.
“T-thank you for coming, Taehyung-ssi”, he stammered.
Taehyung raised his brows and focused his attention on Jeongguk, inspecting his face.
“Are you being sarcastic, Gukkie-ssi?”, he mused before bringing a bite of filet mignon to his mouth, suspicion morphing his features.
“What? No”, Jeongguk frowned, toying with the napkin on his lap.
“Okay”, Taehyung shrugged, “it's just weird, seeing how you didn't seem very glad to see me like a minute ago. Can it be that you don't like me? I thought yesterday went well until you left like that.”
Jeongguk felt his heart-rate increase; he should’ve been less obvious in his discomfort. The last thing he needed was a confrontation in any kind, shape or form.
“I’m sorry, I was late and I… I-I don't even know you”, he couldn’t avoid remarking.
“Exactly”, Taehyung calmly nodded, “why are you suddenly so cold to someone you don't know? Is it because of my bestie?”
“I guess that doesn't help”, Jeongguk muttered, avoiding his gaze.
The brunette had a pensive look in his eyes, which were curious, honest and unguarded. There wasn’t any teasing from their previous encounter in his gaze. Nevertheless, just like yesterday, Jeongguk felt them piercing his soul, and it made him want to flee.
“You really don't like me?”, Taehyung pouted.
“I don't like or dislike you, Taehyung-ssi. I would appreciate it if you stop calling me Gukie and arrive on time from now on, but apart from that, I don't care what you do”.
Jeongguk regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, while Taehyung received them with an astonished look on his face.
“Yes, that's definitely not hostile behavior towards someone you are fairly neutral to”, he quietly chuckled, shaking his head and devouring another bite.
Jeongguk sighed and proceeded to continue eating ーor at least pretending that he didー, at a loss of what to say.
“Listen, I know Jimin and you are not on speaking terms right now, okay? But I didn't do anything. In an alternate reality, you and I would be the best of friends by now”, Taehyung suddenly whined, letting a punch fall on the white mantle top, which made the other flinch in surprise, “I know he was your best friend. You know how jealous I got sometimes? Best friend jealous I mean”, he rambled.
“Your point being?”, Jeongguk finally snapped, his tone matching Taehyung’s.
“My point is that I'm 200% sure we could be friends, Jeongguk, if you just give me a chance”, Taehyung replied, his words unknowingly becoming an echo of Hoseok-hyung’s.
Jeongguk fidgeted in his seat, still unsure of what to say. He had started to plot a reasonable excuse to reschedule when Taehyung abruptly got closer and rested his elbows on the table, leaving the food aside.
“Also, I can help you”, he declared, his beautiful face growing ominously serious.
At that moment, Jeongguk laughed because Taehyung had just gone completely crazy. It was a high pitched giggle, so unnatural and unlike himself that even he was surprised by it.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
Taehyung bit his lips and looked at him as if he was deep in thought. The brunette was mainly pondering if he should say what he wanted to say, and in the end, honesty and feeling won over caution.
“It means that Jimin broke my heart too, once”, Taehyung explained without any preambles, “he was my first love, my first everything, in high school. When we broke up I kinda pretended everything was okay, when in reality I didn't even want to break up”.
Jeongguk shook his head, too stunned by this. Jimin had never told him about it. It shouldn't surprise him anymore, though. After everything went to hell between them, he had accepted that he didn't know who Jimin was. Maybe he had never known.
Meanwhile, whatever he saw on Jeongguk's face made Taehyung's gaze soften, but he continued talking. His hazelnut eyes were full of honesty and determination, and he itched to walk around the table to hug Jeongguk, who looked like a lost child, staring at him with all that hurt pooling in his dark eyes.
“I know the situation is not the same at all, and that you have Yoongi and the group in itself on top of the heart-break, but one does survive being left by Park Jimin. It doesn't seem possible now, maybe”, Taehyung wanted to reach for Jeongguk's hand, but he was pretty sure the other wouldn't appreciate it. “Believe me: been there, done that... But there is a way out. It may all seem pointless now, but I promise…”, he bit his lip.
The speech was so out of the blue, Jeongguk didn't have room to feel offended; he was just utterly surprised. However, he felt like he had been slapped at Taehyung’s final words:
“...I promise you'll be happy again”, he had said, his deep voice strained with emotion.
Jeongguk felt tears in his eyes, and before any could roll down his cheek, he rose up from his seat and left without a word, leaving Taehyung to press his forehead on the table with a groan.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
“You did not say that!”, Hoseok covered his mouth with his hand.
“I unfortunately did”, Taehyung breathed, lowering his head with a sigh.
“You brutally intense piece of shit! How can you promise someone's happiness?”, Hoseok exclaimed, shaking his head with his hand still covering his mouth, “tell me at least you didn’t say it like that, with the Pitbull phrasing, the « been there, done that »!”.
They were seated side by side in a bar in Naeja-dong. Taehyung was on vacation, so he had to wait all day like a nervous mess until Hoseok's shift ended. Since Jeongguk had left him at that restaurant table hours ago, he hadn’t been able to think about anything else.
“I'm sorry, okay? I got carried away, Hobi-hyung. I feel so bad for him. I can't avoid feeling like I already know him, somehow. All these years I always wanted to meet him the most, no offense. He's just too hot”.
Hoseok sighed and reached for his beer.
“None taken, I guess”.
“He's just so gorgeous and kind and cute”, Taehyung continued under his breath. “I almost killed Jimin for what he did, you know? When he told me?”, he shook his head, “but I had to be there for him, so I kept my mouth shut because he blames himself enough as it is”.
Hoseok nodded in agreement, absently tapping the table with a cardboard coaster.
“We have that in common, then. The only one who wasn't fazed was Namjoon, but he's a saint, to be honest...”, Hoseok frowned, “that aside, saying you can help JayKay like that is just absurd. Poor Guk, he must’ve been so uncomfortable! You should definitely apologize”.
“I know, I know, and I’m sorry, and I will, but I've known of him for years, okay? And, well..I have eyes”, Taehyung snorted and Hoseok couldn't avoid laughing as well, “he’s special, hyung”.
“Yes, well, after what you just told me, I don't see him agreeing to meet you anytime soon”, Hoseok shrugged.
“There must be something I can do. I really meant what I told him, you know?”, Taehyung whined.
Hoseok cooed at him and brought him into a side-hug.
“Yeah, well, not everybody wears their heart on their sleeve, Tae. Scared bunnies the least of all”.
“He does look like a bunny, doesn't he? He's so cute”, Taehyung cooed with a dumb smile on his face.
“Careful with that kind of talk, my friend. Jeongguk has already suffered enough, he doesn't need another heart-break. No offense”, the other said, throwing his words back at him playfully, while arching a brow with a serious look in his eyes in a way only Jung Hoseok could manage.
“None taken”, Taehyung shrugged, softly pushing the other away to be able to look his friend in the eye, “I just wanna be his friend, Hoseok-hyung, don't worry about it. I wouldn't dream of messing with him after what Jimin did”.
The hyung seemed to consider his words for a second, staring into his glass.
“Okay, I'll hold you to that. You could fall in love, though”, he added as an afterthought, making Taehyung choke on his drink.
“You know I don't do romantic love, hyung”, Taehyung smiled, “and I'm sure neither does Jeongguk... At least for now”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
It was already 9 pm when someone knocked on Jeongguk’s door.
Jeongguk blinked, realizing he had spaced out on his couch while listening to IU’s ballads (or rather crying to them) . He had wanted to relax for a bit before preparing dinner, but his phone was telling him that had happened more than two hours ago.
Someone was going to town with the buzzer, and Jeongguk thought that the only person who would do something like this was Jimin, but it couldn’t be Jimin; so Hoseok was the next plausible answer.
“I’m coming, I’m coming”, he muttered. He stubbed his toe with the leg of the couch, “fuck!”
He turned the music off, dragged his feet to the door and opened it, making the mistake of not looking through the peephole.
“Hi!” Taehyung said with a boxy smile, standing on his doorstep.
He was wearing a long brown coat and a hat, like he was a movie star from the Hollywood fifties, but it didn’t look ridiculous or even costume-y. It looked good; so good that Jeongguk found himself checking him out, from the classical polished shoes to the tip of the fedora. He almost overlooked the plastic bags in his hands if not for the tempting smell of grilled meat that came from them.
“Iー”.
Jeongguk shut the door on his face, finally waking up from the initial shock. What the hell was this man doing here?
“I came to apologize”, Taehyung said from the other side of the door, as if reading his mind.
“Okay. Now go away”, Jeongguk snapped at him, turning around to rest his back on the wooden surface that separated them.
“Please, I’m sorry Gu-Jeongguk”, the other’s pleading came through.
“And I don’t care”, Jeongguk replied. Talking to the man like this may be easier than to his face. He could just be rude and not give a fuck.
“Jeonggukー”.
“Leave me alone!”.
“Please, I brought samgyeopsal”, it was Taehyung’s turn to whine, “open up, please, I’m sorry! I won’t bring Jimin up, I swear. We can talk about anything else, I’ll respect your limits!”.
Jeongguk bit his lip, shaking his head in anger and shame. He was too tired to deal with this.
“Just go!”, he replied.
He was about to hide in his bedroom until the other left, when Taehyung finally got his attention.
“I also brought german imported beer! It’s artisanal”, the hyung yelled, outright knocking with his fist on the door, “please, Jeongguk, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to come across as patronizing. How could I, when my own life is a mess! I swear I just wanted to be your friend and it came out too intenseー”.
Taehyung almost fell face-first on the floor when the door opened, showing an irritated Jeongguk that caught him by the arms to prevent his fall. Next, the raven-haired managed to glare at him while helping him stand up straight, too.
“Give here”, the younger said, grabbing the bags from his hands.
Taehyung complied and Jeongguk raised his chin, expectantly, but didn’t invite him inside.
“You were saying?”.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you or to be rudeー”.
“Do you think I need saving because I have depression, Taehyung-ssi? Are you the sane person that's gonna do it, save crazy Jeongguk from himself?”, he huffed, shaking his head; the beating of his heart ringing in his ears with an outraged fervour, “do you even fucking know anything about mental health at all?”, Jeongguk's face turned red when an awful idea came to his mind, “did Jimin put you up to this?”
Jeongguk’s tongue was poking the inside of his cheek, his face red in anger, and Taehyung felt full of regret under his sharp stare.
“No! No, of course not. I’m so sorry, I really didn’t express myself well enough, and Jimin has got nothing to do with anything, I swear! I just wanted to be your friend and I thought that, well, it wouldn’t hurt if you knew that we had something in common”, Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but Taehyung continued before he could interrupt him again, “and I’m genuinely sorry. I do know about mental health: I’ve struggled with it too, but that doesn’t excuse that I crossed boundaries you explicitly told me not to cross. I will really back off and remain as respectfully distant as you tell me to, from now on. I wasn't trying to stage an intervention, believe me! I just want to be friends and I swear on my life that I’ll try my best to not make you uncomfortable ever again!”.
A silent minute passed before Jeongguk exhaled and cracked his neck to the side, while Taehyung felt all the muscles on his back knotting with tension, waiting for his verdict. He had really laid all his cards on the table: if Jeongguk didn’t accept his explanation now, he wouldn’t know what else to do.
“Okay, apology accepted”, Jeongguk finally said with a nod, although he was still frowning, “now you can go”.
Taehyung didn’t have time to say anything else before the door was closed on his face for the second time that night; the only difference being that he would have to find himself something for dinner again .
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
The next day, Taehyun, Jeongguk’s secretary, peeked his head into his office with an anxious look on his face some time around ten in the morning.
“Yes?”
“Kim Taehyung is here to see you. Do I send him away or…?”
Jeongguk sighed, remembering how he guiltily ate all that delicious samgyeopsal by himself last night.
“It’s okay, send him in”.
Taehyun noded, visibly relieved at not having to tell Taehyung off, which Jeongguk could relate to. Nevertheless, yesterday, when confronting him, Jeongguk found a strength within himself that he forgot he was capable of. Therefore, if the hyung intended to receive an apology for Jeongguk stealing his food he’d be in for a surprise. Maybe it was the knowledge that Taehyung actually meant no harm, but Jeongguk had the intention to keep closing as many doors on his face as needed to make sure his boundaries were respected.
A soft knock came on the door which made Jeongguk’s eye-brows rise.
“Come in”.
Taehyung took tiny steps into the room with a tentative smile on his face. Once again, he brought snacks and drinks, the breakfast kind.
“Hi”.
“You didn’t need to bring food again”, Jeongguk rolled his eyes.
“I felt like it” Taehyung shrugged, approaching the other’s desk to leave a latte in front of him.
“I only drink decaf”.
“I know”, Taehyung nodded, “decaf with oat milk. I remember”.
“Oh”, Jeongguk looked from the coffee cup to Taehyung, “thanks”.
He took the cup and brought the straw to his lips, letting out a satisfied sigh when the high quality coffee reached his mouth. Taehyung watched the way his cheeks blushed prettily while he enthusiastically kept drinking, and patted himself on the back for making the effort to look for the best artisanal coffee brewery in town.
“It’s so good”, Jeongguk frowned, reattaching his lips to the straw.
Taehyung felt himself blush and decided to get on with the real goal he had coming to the office.
“So”, he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the coffee shop bag in his hands, “I just came to apologize again and make sure that we are, you know, okay”.
“I already told you last night, I accept your apology”, Jeongguk said, getting his guard up again, although it was difficult to appear cold when he couldn’t stop sipping on his straw.
“I’m happy to hear that. I just came to check, ‘cause, you know, you… Yeah, I’m happy to hear that, though. Okay, okay”.
Taehyung kept nodding to himself, looking anywhere but at Jeongguk.
“Okay, then”, Jeongguk said, “see you tomorrow for the calligraphy thing, then?”
“Oh!”, the hyung made a surprised face, “yeah, yeah. Of course!”, Taehyung beamed at him.
His smile stretched big and boxy on his pretty face, and it made Jeongguk falter a bit.
“S-see you then”, Jeongguk muttered, “and thank you for the coffee”.
“Okay, see you tomorrow!”
Taehyung waved at him and left, leaving Jeongguk to slurp on the delicious coffee and watch the door he had disappeared through for more minutes than he would have liked.
Later, when Jeongguk went out for a bathroom break, he would see Hoseok, Hueningkai and Beomgyu drinking the same coffee cups in the break room. When going back to his office, he passed by Taehyun’s desk, who was also munching on a muffin with a focused look on his face.
Jeongguk closed the door behind himself, sighed, and then he took the empty cup from his desk and threw it in the bin.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
And so, days passed, and after that initial conflict was resolved, Taehyung slipped into Jeongguk’s life as stealthily as the winter season. Just like the little temperature drops hinted at the end of fall, Taehyung gradually ーbut steadilyー inserted himself in Jeongguk’s schedule.
He dropped so frequently by the office with drinks and snacks that the staff already knew him. The coffee delivery was usually followed by Hoseok joking about him being an unofficial intern, and those coffee-runs eventually evolved in Taehyung encouraging Jeongguk to actually pause whatever he was doing to enjoy the break with them.
On most days, Taehyung would also message him at some point, asking how he was or just sharing random things. If he didn’t show up all day, chances were he would arrive at closing time to drag Jeongguk to hang out. And if he didn’t show up at all, Jeongguk would receive a litany of good night messages, selfies, and the threat of a call if he dared not to answer back.
The youngest became used to their push and pull dynamic, in which he mainly resisted anything Taehyung proposed, but kept on indulging him in the end anyway.
Therefore, Jeongguk protested, pouted, scoffed and was even rude on many occasions; all for Taehyung’s benefit. But still, he went along with most of Taehyung’s plans, like going out to noraebangs and even a bar or two. He also started to pre-plan his working schedule to make space for when Taehyung would inevitably get carried away in between planning Jimin’s wedding; was it because he wanted to try a restaurant they just passed by, or because he needed to check out whatever museum that was in the same neighborhood they were in… He always found random things that interested him, so he just dragged a reluctant Jeongguk along with him and called it a day.
In the span of two weeks, Taehyung blended so seamlessly in Jeongguk’s day-to-day life, that the raven haired found himself checking their chat with a frown multiple times on a wednesday night.
He was trying to watch a show ーor mainly pretending to for the sake of his dignityー, when in reality he couldn’t stop glaring at his phone because he hadn’t heard of Taehyung all day. It was ten o’clock, so usually, as Taehyung hadn’t shown up at the office and they didn’t have anything scheduled together, he would have received an obscene amount of messages by that point.
He tried to forget about it, but ended up having to take half a valium pill at one in the morning to be able to get some shut-eye; because for some reason, being the one to take the initiative was out of the question. He had an image to uphold: he had to play hard to get, or whatever.
When the alarm rang, Jeongguk had already been awake for fifteen minutes staring at the ceiling. He checked his phone with a sigh after sliding the alarm off: still no messages from Taehyung. They had to go together to select and hire a photography booth experience today, so Taehyung had told him he would pick him up from home at 8, but it was 7 already and the lack of messages made Jeongguk anxious.
He blamed Taehyung for it, because he was the one to set such a high communication standard between them for the last two weeks. Maybe the hyung was already tired of Jeongguk and his resistance to what Taehyung called «living a little». Maybe he had been just trying to compensate for their first quarrel by being overly friendly and caring, and now that he was sure the youngest didn’t hate him, he would relax and leave Jeongguk alone.
Jeongguk felt nauseous at the thought.
A mild panic attack and two chill pills later, it was five minutes past eight and Taehyung was ringing the buzzer.
“Good morning”, the smile fell from his face when he saw how pale and sweaty Jeongguk looked, still in his sweats and hoodie, “are you okay?”
“Yeah, just”, Jeongguk felt so small and exposed he couldn’t look Taehyung in the eye, “had a rough night”.
Thankfully, Taehyung didn’t look at him with concern or pity, he just patted him on the shoulder, only softer than he usually would.
“Go take a shower while I go to fetch us some delicious breakfast, and then we’ll go to the photo booth thing”, he said.
“But the appointment…”, Jeongguk mumbled. He felt so weak, he hadn’t even been able to call them.
“Send me their number and I’ll take care of it”, Taehyung grabbed him by the shoulder this time and massaged it lightly, “go on, okay? I’ll be back in a sec”.
“Oh…okay”, the younger muttered, holding in the urge to cry.
“Don’t forget to send me the number!” the brunette smiled on his way back to the elevator.
“Okay”, Jeongguk repeated.
Once he had sent the number and received a string of hearts in response, he undressed and stepped into the shower, and at some point when he was applying his shampoo, he realized he hadn’t canceled or moved the appointment because he had expected Taehyung to take care of it, somehow; so he cried again under the warm water stream, feeling even more hopeless than before, because expecting things from people was a dangerous thing, Jeongguk knew.
Not long after he got into more casual clothes than what he usually wore for work, Taehyung arrived with coffee and cake slices.
“I bought one of each, since I don’t know which is your favorite”, he explained while displaying them on Jeongguk’s table. “Bear with me”, he said, and added a candle on one of the cake slices before lighting it up. “Yay! Look at this!”
“Is it someone’s birthday?”, Jeongguk asked, already used to Taehyung’s shenanigans, although admittedly the scene brought a smile to his face, which probably had been the hyung’s goal.
“Yeah. Today is the twentieth day anniversary of the Great Jeon-Kim reconciliation act”, Jeongguk felt his smile involuntarily stretch his cheeks which only spurred Taehyung on to keep on going, “also known as the Samgyopsal Peace Treaty, or the day Kim Taehyung got a door closed in his face for the first time; not once, but twice!”
Jeongguk laughed a little. Although it was dimmed, Taehyung's eyes shone in victory all the same.
“So, I say, happy birthday to the peace treatyyy, happy birthday to the peace treatyyy”, Taehyung started singing in between Jeongguk’s complains that he shut up, “happy birthday to the peace treatyyyyy… happy birthday to the peace treatyyy! And now we both blow it out, come on”.
Jeongguk let himself be dragged, literally and figuratively, to blow out the candle with Taehyung.
“There, happy now?”, he complained, although he was smiling.
“Yeah! Which one do you want? I say let’s taste them all!”
“Let’s”, Jeongguk grimaced, watching Taehyung trying to sloppily cut the slices in half, “wait, stop. I’ll do it”.
“Thank you”; Taehyung smiled sheepishly while passing him the plastic knife from the shop.
After cake tasting and drinking his favorite coffee while listening to the hyung’s chatter, Jeongguk felt like a different person.
“So, do we still have the booth appointment? Or did they want to reschedule for another day?”
“Yeah we do, in about… Oh. In half an hour, we should leave ASAP”, Taehyung giggled.
“Taehyung-hyung!”, Jeongguk admonished him.
Thankfully, they made it just five minutes late, although Jeongguk hated it all the same.
“I can’t believe we had so much time and you managed to make us late anyway. Although I should’ve asked you sooner too, it’s my fault”, he groaned.
“It’s nobody’s fault”, Taehyung frowned, “and it’s no big deal, they said they’ll attend us right away. These things happen”, he added, patting the other’s back.
Jeongguk sighed and didn’t reply, because he knew Taehyung was right. I’m just on edge today.. . When am I not on edge though? , he bitterly thought.
Not long after, they were ushered through many photo booth experiences, as they called them. Taehyung became obsessed with one that consisted of a faux vintage standing camera box. He only reluctantly conceded not to hire the service when Jeongguk pointed out it was Jimin and Yoongi’s wedding party, not his.
“There’s only one fan of vintage things that I know, and it’s not Jimin nor Yoongi”, Jeongguk had said with a playful smile that made Taehyung blush.
When they got to the «Nostalgic Instant Camera Experience» Jeongguk knew they had found a winner. He stood by a desk full of instant pictures, with scrapbooks and samples of other artistic ways to display them, silently examining the quality of the tools and materials.
“Jimin would love this”.
“Wow!”, Taehyung exclaimed, coming to a stop by his side, “he can add it or combine it to his photobook collection. He’ll love it! And people can leave messages too”.
“Yeah”, Jeongguk said, a wave of intense sadness suddenly pulling him under.
He turned around, stepping away from the samples, and tried to control his breathing.
“Gukk-ah”, Taehyung whispered, sensing the other’s change of mood.
“I need a few minutes”, Jeongguk said in a barely audible whisper. The urge to cry was choking him, but he wanted to find a place to be alone first.
“Of course. I’ll be around”.
Jeongguk didn't wait for further confirmation before getting out. Thankfully, in front of the building there was a little park, so he sat on a stone bench by a little fountain, hiding behind the greenery to shed a few tears in peace. The place was unexpectedly lovelier than it had any right to be, even decorated with strings of golden christmas lights that were still turned off.
After a few minutes, Jeongguk lost himself in his thoughts. He didn’t see where he was anymore; he was immersed in an imaginary representation of this wedding they were planning. The nostalgic photo experience would be perfect for Jimin. He knew this because he was the one to give him his first ever photo book when he turned twenty, full of images of Jimin's junior years of university with their hyungs. It became their thing; Jeongguk giving him a new one every year for his birthday… Except the last one, of course.
The blurry vision of Jimin and his hyungs laughing and taking pictures of each other and their families at the wedding only faded to the background when he imagined Taehyung in a suit, a boxy smile on his face while he took pictures of people.
That reminded him of the fact that Taehyung’s pictures were always included in all those photo books he made, because Jeongguk was nothing else if not attentive to detail. Everytime, he would get one hyung or another to ask Taehyung for them out of shyness, or he would simply steal them from Jimin's phone and print them himself.
He blinked while he thought how, in retrospect, it was actually amazing how Taehyung and him had managed not to directly interact ever before.
At that point, half an hour had gone by, and Jeongguk wasn't crying anymore. Nevertheless, he was still stuck in his head between what could’ve been s when Taehyung came to find him.
“I knew you’d be hidden somewhere”, he said, sitting beside Jeongguk, who sniffed and tried to dry the tears from his face, “look what I found”.
In his hands was nothing other than a polaroid camera.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk sighed, wanting to cry again; his face crumpling with it, “did you steal it?”
“No!”, Taehyung snorted, “I just told them I need to test their cameras to decide which one we like the best… Although I'm already telling you this is it”.
“Okay? I don’t want to have t-to bail you out from prison”, Jeongguk mumbled, looking at the hyung in confusion.
Taehyung laughed loudly, throwing his head back.
“Say cheers!”, he yelled when he had barely calmed himself, taking a selfie of them before Jeongguk could react.
“Hyung!”, the youngest complained with a childish whine.
“Aw, look! It's the commemorative picture of the twentieth day anniversary of the Samgyopsal Peace Treaty. Aren't we gorgeous?” Taehyung goaded, showing him the picture that was slowly appearing on the square of paper.
“You’re so dumb”, Jeongguk replied. Without him noticing, his chest started to feel less heavy; his mind less clouded, “I look like shit”.
“And we’ve got the whole experience right here”, Taehyung added, taking out a pen from his pocket and showing it off before turning the picture around.
“I can't believe you”, Jeongguk shook his head.
“Dumb… and shity-looking… on the twentieth…”, Taehyung muttered under his breath while he wrote.
Jeongguk let himself observe the hyung, who furrowed his brows in concentration and bit his tongue while adding the date to the back of the picture.
“There you go”, Taehyung smiled, puffing his chest, “we can add that to our own diary”.
“We don't keep one”.
“You should! If not, how are you going to write the best-seller «How I planned my exes’ wedding in ten days»?”
“Pfffft”, Jeongguk found himself giggling in disbelief. It might have been the first time he was able to laugh about the topic, “I have a good memory, don't worry. Although I had another title in mind”.
“Like what? ”
“Hmmm, like «Ten reasons to hate your exes’ best friend», probably”, he replied, sticking his tongue out to him.
“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny”, Taehyung pouted, shoving him on the shoulder.
The contact was brief, but it made something uncoil in Jeongguk’s stomach.
“Anyway”, he rose to his feet, “let's go hire this nostalgic nightmare shit”, he grimaced, making Taehyung laugh.
“That's very professional of you, but I already covered it. We can go have lunch or something instead”.
“We had breakfast like… an hour ago… and what do you mean you covered it?”, the youngest groaned.
“Well, to be honest, Hoseok and I did, through a video call and a lot of patience from the staff here. Thought you wouldn't want to stay longer than necessary”, Taehyung offered him with a soft smile.
“What about the camera, though?”, Jeongguk pointed out.
Without warning, Taehyung threw his car keys, which Jeongguk picked from the air, looking at the hyung in surprise.
“You go get the car. I’ll leave the camera and wait for you in front of the building”, he started to turn around, but rushed back branding their picture in his hand, “oh! and take this, please, I don't want to damage it”.
Jeongguk stood still, watching him leave, before finally getting into gear himself. He observed the picture in his hands while he walked to the car. They both had ridiculous expressions: Taehyung was half-laughing, half-shouting, while Jeongguk had a stunned look on his face, with round eyes, disheveled hair and tear-stricken cheeks.
A part of him acknowledged that he was in deep, deep trouble with Kim Taehyung, while the other just wanted to lose himself in the comfort he offered, whatever the outcome. For good or bad, Jeongguk didn’t know, he had already chosen to allow himself to fall once more, so he put the instant photo in his breast-pocket, where it would be safe: close to his heart.
Chapter 3: Keep my distance
Notes:
Happy Christmas Eve, everybody 🎄
& to those who are alone, like me: we got this.~ happy reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk spaced out looking at the blurred Christmas lights that melted away with the rain on the car window. Reds and golds blended in with the traffic lights, and although it was a melancholic sight, he had a secretive smile on his lips. His belly was comfortably full after a delicious lunch the eldest had insisted on paying for, and he felt content, basking in the cozy heat inside Taehyung’s car.
The day had started poorly, coming from an even bleaker night, due to the lack of messages from Taehyung himself ーwhich Jeongguk didn’t want to bring himself to think about anymoreー. Nevertheless, as the weather had only gotten worse, the younger’s mood improved instead, to the point of forgetting why he had had a rough night in the first place. It made him ruminate about Taehyung’s ability to ease his anxious mind. Although he didn’t always succeed, the fact that he invariably tried made Jeongguk melt inside.
“I don’t want to go to the office yet”, he silently pouted, a sweater paw chasing the rivulets of water on the other side of the glass.
“We can stop somewhere else, before I drop you there”, Taehyung immediately offered. His voice was soothing, velvety and rich, like a warm blanket keeping Jeongguk’s nerves at bay.
“We could go to the flower shop”, the raven-haired proposed on a whim.
They had an appointment there in the upcoming week for the Min-Park wedding, of course, but he would feel less guilty for skipping office hours if they did something work-related at least. Moreover, the flower shop would be almost empty, considering the rain, and he felt tingly with anticipation at sharing such a magical space with Taehyung, just by themselves.
“We could look around to get an idea before we go check on the final flower mockups next week…”, he added, although Taehyung didn’t need much convincing.
“Let’s go, then”, the brunette said with a glowing smile that made Jeongguk’s blood rush to his face, “could you put the address in the GPS?”
“R-right”.
In less than half an hour, Jeongguk was paying to park on the street with the company visa, although he had to fight Taehyung on it first. The hyung covered them both with his coat, and the situation was nothing short of ridiculous, which only brought smiles to their faces, even through their bickering. After managing the payment, they entered the establishment, just a few doors away on the same street.
“Woaaaah”, Taehyung beamed, “it’s amazing”.
The place was big and overcrowded with all kinds of vegetable life (and death). Delicate chandeliers hang from the barrel vaulted ceiling, and the double crystal doors that lined the shop, which consisted of half the street, gave the space a greenhouse feeling.
There was the seasonal section packed with Christmas trees as well, which made Jeongguk unconsciously roll his eyes. After that, he greeted the owners, who knew him well as a regular client.
“We’ll be at the back, Jeongguk-ah”, said the old lady with a knowing smile that made Jeongguk blush.
“Thank you, Misook-ajumeoni”.
Jeongguk lost himself amidst the cut flowers section, inhaling deeply, while he heard the rumor of Taehyung chatting up the florist before she could go; it brought a smile to his lips, soft and distracted. Consequently, while the younger was entranced, carefully inspecting some lovely anemones, he didn’t hear Taehyung ask the florist if he could take one.
Jeongguk gasped in surprise when the artist’s brown hand caught his own, which was caressing the red velvety petals.
“May I?”, Taehyung asked with a lopsided smile.
“You may not”, Jeongguk glared at him, trying to keep his cool while Taehyung ignored him, cutting the stem of the flower he had been admiring with some gardening scissors.
After returning the tool with a polite vow to the old lady, the hyung raised the blood red anemone to inhale its scent, closing his eyes, and just as Jeongguk had feared, he then proceeded to reach out to him, tucking the stem of the flower behind his ear, along with some black curls that were long overdue for a cut. The younger felt blood pumping in his ears, his heart in danger of beating out of his chest in a frenzy.
“Jeongguk-ah”, Taehyung inhaled, shaking his head in awe, “you’re so beautiful”.
Jeongguk bit his plump bottom lip, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, and looked anywhere but at the man in front of him.
“I’m barely mid”, he muttered under his breath.
He absolutely didn’t want Taehyung to think that he was fishing for compliments, but the words left his lips before he could prevent it. However, when he looked up at him again, Taehyung simply pointed a finger to his face, commanding his attention, and stepped closer so that only he could hear him whisper:
“Don’t you dare talk about my friend like that”.
The hyung accompanied his words by giving him a little smirk, before flicking Jeongguk’s chin with his knuckles. Then, he turned around to keep inspecting the flower arrangements, presumably.
If he noticed how affected he left Jeongguk, ーflushed, breathless and very much overwhelmedー, he didn’t show it.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Some hours later, Jeongguk closed his laptop with a sigh. The perpetual frown on his face was overcome with a yawn when he noticed the peace and quiet in the dark office. He remembered barely acknowledging Hoseok when he had come by to say something, surely before leaving himself.
Anyway, it looked like he'd be closing the office again, like he had been doing for the past year, so he tapped twice on his desk before standing up to gather his things, and tried not to think about anything.
His falling out with Jimin was the reason Jeongguk had been working non-stop for the past year. After working, he would usually go to the gym every day until he was so tired he could only go home and sleep. That left him with as little time to think about anything as possible, because when he didn’t follow through with a packed schedule, the probabilities of falling into the clutches of overthinking were much greater. And that had left him agoraphobic and barely leaving his bed for the first quarter of last year.
It was only Friday night, but he could already feel the dreadfulness of the weekend seeping through his veins, so he decided he would walk his way home, eager to delay the inevitable loneliness of his empty flat. It’s true that since Taehyung had come into his life things had been a little different, and it was easy to delude himself into thinking he was back to being his old self when he was in his presence.
When he was alone, though, hopelessness weighed him down all the same. Healing wasn’t linear, he knew that, but periodically falling back into depression rabbit holes was something he wouldn’t desire even upon his worst enemy.
Jeongguk left the building and made his way through the streets full of people. Two blocks later, he passed by a pizzeria which was a favorite of his hyungs. He was about to leave it behind when the delicious smell of molten cheese made him stop and retrace his steps.
He pondered whether to go in or not. Wouldn't it just make him more depressed, eating out by himself on a Friday night?
Earlier, when he and Taehyung parted after their little excursion to the flower shop, Taehyung had said not to count on him, that he’d be busy. It made Jeongguk weak: how the eldest found it natural to notify him of his availability or lack there-of, as if hanging out together was a given.
He was standing in front of the place, bouncing on his feet, looking without seeing anything, when he decided it would be best to just order some pizza at home. Maybe he would even send a picture of it to Taehyung.
However, when he was about to leave, he found his recognizable tiger’s gaze locked on him.
Jeongguk's eyes widened in surprise at first. The next second, he noticed Jimin and Hoseok at the same table inside the cozy place, laughing and talking over their pizzas, totally oblivious of his presence; and that image ーthem, inside that restaurantー, and himself, ーlooking from outside like a strangerー, soon brought tears to his eyes.
He started walking, trying to blink the sadness away. Moreover, the cold seemed to cut through his skin sharper than before, and a dark veil started to blur the corners of his vision.
“Wait!”, he heard someone shouting behind him.
Jeongguk didn’t know what came over him, but his feet jumped into a sprint without a second thought.
“Jeongguk! Jeongguk, wait!”, the person, presumably Taehyung by the sound of their deep voice, kept on running behind him, which just gave him motives to speed even more.
They had been racing through more than three blocks when, suddenly, there was some clutter followed by an “ouch!”, and then, silence.
Jeongguk's heart was beating a mile an hour when he stopped in his tracks. He cursed at himself because he couldn't avoid turning around to see if his pursuer was okay, and he certainly found Taehyung looking at him with a pout some meters away: ass on the ground and holding his foot, with some metal buckets he must have collided with now scattered all around him.
The younger pinched the bridge of his nose for a second and sighed before stepping closer to Taehyung.
“Are you okay?”, he asked, a tired note in his voice.
“No”, Taehyung pouted even more, if that was possible, giving him puppy eyes and all.
“Can you move that? Can you stand?”, Jeongguk asked, crouching next to him.
He gathered the buckets and orderly set them down somewhere at the edge of the sidewalk where nobody could trip over them again. Meanwhile, Taehyung seemed to study his movements in silence.
“I think so. It hurts though”, the hyung finally mumbled, looking pensively at the ground.
It was the first time Jeongguk had seen Taehyung like this. He was avoiding his eyes and he looked sad; guilty, even. Jeongguk stood up and extended a hand.
“Come on”, the younger said, his tone softer now.
Taehyung looked at him with those puppy eyes now full of confusion, then at his hand. After a brief second, he took it and stood up.
“Thank you”, he mumbled, avoiding his gaze again.
“Try to move it”.
The other complied, rotating the injured foot. When he tried to step on it, though, he grimaced.
“I guess I need to call a cab”.
“Right”, Jeongguk nodded. Before he could do anything else, though, Taehyung took hold of the hem of his jacket, keeping him in place.
“Jeongguk, I'm so sorry”.
Jeongguk’s jaw clenched; he knew Taehyung well enough by now to know that he wasn’t going to let this go easily.
“It's okay”, he said, trying to deflect the situation.
“No it's not, you must've felt terrible”, Taehyung frowned, “it must have sucked seeing your friends from outside when..., when everything that happened was so out of your control and... so not... your fault”.
Jeongguk inhaled deeply while tears threatened to fall again. He made a feeble attempt at turning away, but Taehyung didn't let him: his grip on Jeongguk’s jacket even stronger than before, pulling him closer.
“I'm sorry because I think that you are the first one that wants to be there. That wishes that it never happened. You don't deserve to be the one looking from outside”, Jeongguk tried to pull himself away through the tears, but Taehyung wouldn't let him, and maybe he didn't try very hard either. “I don't mean that Jimin deserves it, but anytime that you feel guilty or left out it’s so fucking unfair!”, he exclaimed, shaking his head.
The night was freezing, and the street was gloomy and empty, but Jeongguk felt grateful for the lack of people and light because hearing those words spoken out loud made him break down like he hadn't ever done in front of someone else: full-on ugly crying with tears and snot running down his face.
Taehyung brought him closer, clinging to his jacket in a one-sided hug, and continued talking.
“You didn't break the group, Jimin did. Everyone knows it, and they all love Jimin anyway. If you can believe that they love Jimin and Yoongi, even with the mistakes they made, you have to believe me when I tell you that they love you just as much”.
Sobs wrecked through Jeongguk's body, and he couldn't avoid finally hugging Taehyung's waist in return, his head falling into the crook of the elder's neck, with all the pent up emotional whirlwind of the past year crushing down on him at once.
Taehyung wasn't done, though.
“Gukkie... Yoongi too, he misses you like crazy, you know?”Jeongguk couldn't avoid the high-pitched whine that escaped the back of his throat, because his heart always seemed to break all over again when he thought about Yoongi. “He can't tell Jimin or the others, but he tells me”, Taehyung chuckled to himself, “I'm like this neutral territory in the middle: everybody tells me everything”.
Jeongguk tried to step away from Taehyung to contain the sobs that wrecked through his body, but the other only held on even tighter, rubbing calming circles over his back.
“It's okay to cry, Jeonggukie… You don't need to run and wait 'till you're alone. You can cry now. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere”.
Jeongguk cried for some minutes more, although they felt like hours, all the while wondering if Taehyung could read minds, because at least he seemed to have him all figured out. When the sniffles grew calmer in a natural way, the younger stepped back from Taehyung's arms to be able to look at him.
“Who are you? How do you know exactly what to say?”, he said with a shaky breath.
Gentle chestnut eyes cradled him with their warmth, and a thumb caressed his cheekbone in the most tender way.
“I'm your hyung, okay?”.
Jeongguk felt a grin overtake his features, his nose and eyes scrunching with it. He looked at Taehyung's fond expression and, finding only honesty and concern there, he felt safe.
“Okay, hyung”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
After holding Jeongguk while he cried, Taehyung had refused to part ways, insisting they both take a taxi together for Jeongguk’s home. Needless to say, there wasn’t much Jeongguk could ーor wantedー to do against such determination. They hailed a cab, reached the younger’s apartment, and boiled water for a quick meal that would hopefully dispel the chill from their frozen bodies.
Following the emotional outburst, Jeongguk’s expression remained exposed and raw in front of Taehyung. What did he have to lose by uncovering more of his vulnerabilities? His mind was exalted and running a mile a minute after unpacking all that trauma in a single crying session. He felt so light, almost reckless with it, so he opened his mouth before he lost his grit.
“What did you do last night?”, he asked with a firm voice.
It certainly surprised Taehyung, who looked up from his bowl of ramen from across the kitchen table with a baffled expression.
“I was… busy”, the hyung settled on saying before stuffing his mouth with noodles.
“You didn't text me like you usually do”, Jeongguk prodded under his breath, unable to maintain eye contact anymore.
“Is that why you had a bad night?”
There was a particular shine to the elder’s stare; his voice modulated in a strange tone that Jeongguk would have described as hopeful, had he been calm enough to appreciate it. In any case, the raven-haired wouldn't be happy until he bared his soul to Taehyung, apparently, because he realized he wanted to answer honestly.
“Yeah”, the youngest said, “I guess I got used to it. When you didn't appear at work and didn't say anything… I got worried? I guess?”
“I'm sorry”.
“It's okay. It's not like you have to, like, talk to me all the time, I mean”, Jeongguk bit his bottom lip.
“I know”.
After some minutes of silence, Jeongguk felt the need to explain himself better. The quiet slurping of the noodles was killing him, and his leg was bouncing so hard on the kitchen stool that his body trembled with it.
“It's the anxiety, you know? It makes me overthink things, distort things and imagine the worst possibilities, like that you had finally gotten tired of me. Or thinking that you are not going to message me ever again, that's the kind of dramatic my thoughts can get sometimes”, Jeongguk chuckled humorlessly, “it's embarrassing”.
“Oh, Jeongguk, but I… I actually didn't message you on purpose”.
“Okay?”, Jeongguk's doe eyes opened wide, confusion written all over his face.
“Yeah, I just… I wanted to, like. I don't know. Think about us? I mean, about how I… How I feel about you”.
Jeongguk gulped, his face going pale.
“You look like I told you someone died”, Taehyung pointed out with an offended frown on his face.
“Sorry it's just. Whatーwhat do you mean? What did you need to think about?”, he asked. However, when Taehyung opened his mouth to talk, Jeongguk beat him to it: “wait, wait. I-I d-don't know if I wanna hear it”.
Taehyung sighed, his shoulders sagging. Then, he noticed the way Jeongguk’s body was curving in on itself, making himself small; and how his big dark eyes had a frightened, almost animalistic look. It made Taehyung’s heart bleed.
Therefore, he smiled softly and stretched out an open palm in the middle of the table. At first, Jeongguk looked at it in horror for a tense beat. However, after a while he placed his own trembling hand on top of it. Taehyung’s smile grew, his heart beating a mile an hour while he tried to look as cool and composed as he could on the outside, so as not to scare Jeongguk.
“I won't leave you hanging like that ever again, with the messages I mean”, he said, his deep voice soothing Jeongguk’s anxiety partially. “And if someday you are ready to hear me out, just say it, and I’ll tell you”.
Jeongguk blushed, feeling the caress of Taehyung’s warm gaze on his face and the hint of the promise shining in his eyes.
“I-I’m sorry”, he whispered, but Taehyung only held his hand tighter.
“Nothing to be sorry for”, the hyung said, offering him a reassuring smile, “it’s not that big of a deal anyway, you know?”
“It’s not?”, Jeongguk mumbled, bewildered.
“Hm-hm”, Taehyung nodded, “we’re here already, aren’t we?”
Jeongguk felt tears pooling in his red, tired eyes once again, so he just stood up to walk around the table and hugged the hyung’s neck. It felt more intimate, this way, without their jackets in the way, but he needed to be closer to Taehyung, to show him how deeply affected he was by his words.
“Thank you, hyung”, Jeongguk whispered before pecking him on the cheek.
Taehyung gasped in surprise and brought his hesitant hands to rest on the younger’s waist, looking up at him from under his brown curls.
“Hyung’s red”, Jeongguk giggled mischievously, happy that for once he wasn’t the embarrassed one, although he also cradled Taehyung’s head against his chest to avoid his eyes, and pressed another kiss to his hair.
“How do you want me to be?”, Taehyung blubbered against his sweater, while red painted his skin over his neck, face, to the tips of his ears, “you just kissed me, twice!”
Jeongguk released him with a sheepish smile and went back to his seat.
“We don’t do half-assed things in this house, but don’t get too used to it”, he joked, although his heart was pounding fiercely in his ribcage, “come on, finish your cup! I wanna watch TV”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Some days later, Hoseok barged into Jeongguk's office, almost ramming into his secretary who was walking out the door at the same time.
“Jeongguk!”
The hyung’s jaw was slack; a vein bulging on his neck. Even though not a hair on his head was out of place, he had such a pale face that Jeongguk immediately thought the worse.
“Is Namjoon-hyung okay?”, he burst out, standing from behind his desk.
Hoseok dispelled the idea with a wave of the hand and a shake of the head.
“He’s fine. It’s the wedding veー”.
A knock on the door interrupted him. Hoseok turned around and relaxed slightly when he saw Taehyung stepping into the room.
“Hello”, Taehyung’s smile fell from his face, “is everything okay?”
“Not really”, Hoseok paced around the room while Jeongguk let his weight rest in front of his desk, his hands gripping the edge of it to keep the anxiety in.
“What’s wrong?”, Taehyung mumbled, “I can come back laー”.
“No, no”, Hoseok shook his head again, waving at Taehyung to come in with energetic gestures, “sit”, he added, waving at them both again to urge them to move, “come on”.
Jeongguk and Taehyung shared a perplexed look before the first one sat back on his usual chair behind the desk, while the latter took a seat in front of it.
“Is Jiminie okay?” Taehyung rushed out.
“Yeah, yeah. Everybody is fine”, Hoseok sighed, “everybody except for the wedding”.
“The wedding”, Taehyung said looking at Jeongguk, who shrugged.
“Hyung?”, the raven-haired urged Hoseok to explain.
“The wedding venue fucking exploded to shreds, Jeongguk-ah”, Hoseok finally declared before letting his body fall into the couch Jeongguk had on one side of his office.
“What?”, Jeongguk stood up again.
“Was anybody hurt?”, Taehyung asked.
“No. It was a gas leak, and the explosion happened on a weekday night. There was nobody there, thankfully”.
“Fuck”, Jeongguk started to pace around the room, just like Hoseok had been doing before.
“We need to find another venue, then”, Taehyung calmly stated, sensing the tension in the room.
“We?”, Jeongguk countered, directing an incredulous look at him.
“It’s not that easy Taehyung-ah. It has to be in the same area as the last one, with similar resources and over-all logistics, and the worst of it all; it’s got to have a free spot for over a month from now”.
Jeongguk groaned, letting himself fall beside Hoseok on the couch.
“It’s impossible”.
Taehyung couldn’t avoid being endeared by the way they were pouting, with deep frowns in their faces and their whiney disposition, together on the couch.
“We need to tell Namjoon", Hoseok said.
“No way”, Jeongguk complained, “we need to solve this or cancel it ourselves. Namjoon needs to rest”.
“You only apply this principle when it doesn’t affect you”, Hoseok groaned with a sigh, but Jeongguk ignored him.
“I mean it, hyung”, he said, starting to pace around the room again. Taehyung tried not to focus on the black turtleneck he wore and how it showed off the contrast between his bulky chest and his tiny waist. “I’d rather travel to that province myself and scout and negotiate with possible venues for weeks than tell hyung about it now”.
Before Hoseok could answer, his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and looked at them with a grimace.
“It’s Jimin”, he said, making Jeongguk sigh.
“I’m sure the venue contacted him too. He’s always on top of things”, Jeongguk groaned, which made Taehyung hide a smile behind his palm.
“Hey Jimin-ah”, Hoseok answered the phone and put it on speaker.
“This wedding was doomed from the start, hyung”, came a breathless voice, the sound very much like that of someone who had been crying.
“Jimin-ah!” Taehyung interrupted him before he could say anything else, “Hi, babe. You’re on speaker”.
“Hi”, Jimin said, and then a sob was heard loudly echoing in the room. Hearing Taehyung’s voice might have broken what little composure Jimin had, “I-I know what you’re both going to say, but I-I deserve it after everything Iー”.
Hoseok quickly pressed the speaker button off, standing up and rushing out of the room.
“Hold on a minute”, they heard him say in a comforting tone before the door closed behind him.
Taehyung turned around to look at Jeongguk, who was again seated in his chair. He was covering his face with his hands, and after a brief moment, Taehyung realized he was crying.
“Hey, hey”, he muttered under his breath, going around the desk to rub at Jeongguk’s back with a hand while gripping his shoulder with the other, “no, no, no”, he murmured.
“Could you leave?”, Jeongguk whispered.
“Don’t really want to”, Taehyung said, griping both his shoulders tightly and massaging them, “let’s do what you said, okay?”
“What?”, Jeongguk whined between sniffles from behind his hands.
“Let’s go on a trip, you and I. We’ll go see all these venues, sleep in a bunch of luxury hotels and resorts, and won’t come back until we’ve found one that works for the wedding”.
“We only have five weeks until then”, Jeongguk huffed, his shoulders shaking with it.
“Look, it’s like the angels planned it. One week to find the new venue, and a month left to do the last preparations! Imagine if it had happened later! That’s a good thing, right?”, because Jeongguk wasn’t saying anything, Taehyung continued on rambling, his hands never stopping to massage the other’s shoulders, “and if the new venue we’ve found explodes too or burns down in a fire, then we will assume the wedding is indeed doomed and I’ll take Jimin to a witch so that the curse may be broken, and everything’s solved. What do you say? Or we could also do a private wedding insteadー”.
“Hyung”.
“Hm?”
Jeongguk let his hands drag across his face until he tucked his chin on top of them.
“You are good”.
“What?”, Taehyung exclaimed with a blush.
“Y-your hands”, Jeongguk said quietly, his cheeks reciprocating the other’s pink, “it feels nice, I m-mean, the massage feels nice”, he whispered.
Taehyung smiled to himself and kept on kneading Jeongguk’s shoulders with renewed purpose.
“Thank you”.
“I should thank you”, Jeongguk muttered with a shaky exhale.
A minute of silence passed in which Taehyung could feel Jeongguk’s muscles relaxing further under his touch, although he tried not to focus on it, nor on the other’s deep breathing and the quiet little moans that escaped with it.
“So”, the hyung said after a while, “let’s go find a venue! What do you say?”
“I don't know".
Taehyung’s chest puffed proudly when he realized the younger had closed his eyes.
“Is there another option, besides canceling?”
“No”, Jeongguk groaned, “canceling… that’s not an option”, he declared.
Suddenly, Jeongguk put a hand on top of his, stopping his movement.
“Thank you”, he repeated, although he sneaked from under the touch to free himself from it, and Taehyung knowingly took a step back; the moment had passed.
The younger man turned the chair around to look at him, and Taehyung tried not to think of the things that watching him from above did to him. Jeongguk’s eyes were so big, shining with an intense look that never failed to shake Taehyung to his core. He had seen them red and sad and tired from crying; glowing, bright with mischief when goofing around; and he wondered what light might shine on them if he were to utter those words… The words Jeongguk wasn’t yet ready to hear.
Also, how might they look if Taehyung were to make him his? Or if he let Jeongguk claim him? Would his gaze burn through Taehyung like a fire; conquering his body with feral greed? Or would it gleam with exquisite tears of pleasure while he surrendered to his touch?
Let’s just say Taehyung wasn’t very proud of the ways he spent his nights, lately.
“I guess I’ll let you know when I find a suitable place and we can have a call about it, so that you can give me your opinion on Jimin's place. I’ll also send him the pics and details of it once you’ve given the approval, of course”.
Coming back to earth, Taehyung realized what the event planner was saying with those plush lips of his.
“What about me?”, he dumbly asked.
“What about you?”
“I want to come too”, Taehyung whined, not caring for his dignity.
“Taehyung-ssi”, Jeongguk sighed, looking away. He only reverted to calling him so formally when the hyung tested his patience.”It’s not a vacation trip. It will be tiresome to sleep in a different place every night, to have to drive to maybe four different places each day… I think it’d be best if I go alone to get the work done faster”.
“And I say that, precisely because it’s so much work, it’s better if there are two people on it”, Taehyung insisted, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Your argument makes no sense. Would you be going to some places while I go to others? I can’t let you do that”, Jeongguk calmly retorted.
“I know, and I wouldn’t even know how to do that, but I can help”.
Jeongguk sighed, pinching his nose.
“How so?”
“I can talk to people”.
“Excuse me?” Jeongguk raised his eyebrows with a scoff.
“I didn’t mean it like that, please”, Taehyung shoved Jeongguk’s shoulder gently with a pout on his lips, “I meant that, because I know how it drains you, it will be nice to have me there to handle the interacting with other human beings so you can focus on the venues and logistics and stuff. The technical aspects of it, if you will”.
Taehyung was right. Although Jeongguk was absolutely capable of doing it on his own, having an extrovert counterpart would make the job easier, and Hoseok couldn’t go because he had to stay and hold their business together while Namjoon was at the hospital.
“How do you know that it drains me?”
“I’ve heard of you for years, duh. Can’t avoid feeling like I’ve known you for long, although I can tell it’s one sided”.
Taehyung tried to play it off as a joke, but the moment it left his lips, he realized that it fell flat and with no comic relief at all, partly because Jeongguk was looking at him with pursed lips and guilt in his eyes.
“I meanー”.
“Okay”, Jeongguk interrupted him.
“Huh?”
“Okay, let’s go”, Jeonggyk nodded, trying to convince himself this was a good idea, “let’s go find that venue, hyung”.
Taehyung gasped.
“Together?”
He couldn’t contain his smile, outrightly beaming at Jeongguk.
“Yeah”, the youngest breathlessly replied, “together”.
When Taehyung offered him his hand, Jeongguk only doubted for a second before taking it in a firm shake, which made the other giggle.
“Let’s go, team!”, Taehyung hollered.
Jeongguk’s lips twitched with a little smile, and he looked down shyly so Taehyung couldn’t see.
Chapter Text
Hoseok couldn’t stop raving about how it was so cold they needed to make sure to pack proper winter gear, and although he agreed absentmindedly, Jeongguk didn’t really feel like it was. Everywhere felt cozy insteadーlike Taehyung’s fuzzy sweaters, heavy chic coats and oversized hoodiesー, because Jeongguk was allowed to bask in the warmth of Taehyung’s undivided attention. Then again, the artist kept his promises, respecting his limits. He was proving to be an absolute sweetheart and a gentleman, and just the thought of him brought a smile to the younger’s lips.
However, Jeongguk didn’t let his adoration show too much, though, or at least he tried. He didn’t want Taehyung to know that he had won him over so completely in such little time. Therefore, he maintained a facade of indifference, which meant that he pretended to be unbothered half the time he was actually melting inside. After all, Taehyung just needed to do anything as ordinary as breathing to induce two types of reactions in him: either he swooned over the hyung like a teenager, breaking into humiliating fits of blushy giggles, or he felt his stomach twist with the need to drop to his knees for him. Either way, Jeongguk was embarrassed, because both responses were equally mortifying and he didn’t seem to be able to stop them from happening.
Apart from that, the raven-haired only relapsed into a standoffish attitude when Taehyung became too needy or pushy, but the latter didn’t seem to mind. The hyung would usually resort to acting up and doing something stupid, like pinching Jeongguk’s cheeks or making dumb faces, until a smile broke through the younger’s temperament. Just another proof of how gone he was for Taehyung.
Needless to say, Hoseok watched them with a curious ーif hawkishー eye and understood more than he let on. Consequently, it wasn’t a surprise when, once notified of their trip, he was quick to plan it, booking the necessary hotels and making arrangements for them to leave immediately. The hyung thankfully did it all swiftly and, more importantly, without asking any questions that Jeongguk would have been too embarrassed to answer.
As for Taehyung, he was even faster to go pack his bags and present himself at Jeongguk’s doorstep that same night. He glowed with excitement, leaving his shoes by the door, and rushed quickly to Jeongguk’s bedroom to help, as if the latter hadn’t been almost finished with his own packing already.
“You only packed business suits, Jeongguk-ah”.
“I’m sorry to break it to you, hyung, but this is, in fact, a business trip”, Jeongguk flippantly noted, stacking more bagged suits inside a huge suitcase.
“And here I thought we were going out of town for a real live rendition of «The holiday»”, Taehyung sarcastically replied, “won’t you be more comfortable in some jeans, or something? I only packed two suits”.
Jeongguk observed Taehyung’s insecure pout from the corner of his eye while he selected some ties from a drawer.
“Don’t worry hyung. Your casual style is not casual at all, I can’t imagine any occasion where you’d look underdressed”, he said with a chuckle.
Taehyung blushed, playfully smacking Jeongguk’s shoulder while the younger relished in his reaction. The hyung did tend to smack him when flustered, and Jeongguk would take any physical contact from him he could get.
“Shut up. I’m packing you some casual outfits and some sweats”, he declared.
“I already have my pajamas, hyung. I don’t need more comfy clothes”, Jeongguk protested to no avail.
Three packed suitcases, two bags and one challenging trip to the car later, they were set in motion, driving out of Seoul in the middle of the night. Jeongguk felt anticipation bubbling in his stomach while he watched Taehyung drive. He was singing Christmas carols like he was a jazz star from the fifties, and Jeongguk, once again, felt like swooning.
“Your voice is so beautiful, hyung”, he said in a dreamy tone.
Sometime later, the purr of the car and the hyung’s rich voice singing along the radio lulled him to sleep; his soft-snores making Taehyung smile dumbly at the pitch-black road.
“You’re the one that’s beautiful, Jeongguk”, he whispered.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
They had been in the car for two hours, and Taehyung kept rubbing his eyes, trying to sing along to the lyrics of Last Christmas, and patting his face from time to time to keep himself awake. The GPS assured him that there were less than thirty minutes left to reach their destination, so he persevered through the fatigue, not keen on waking Jeongguk up to switch seats when they were almost there. Furthermore, the youngest was sleeping so peacefully that it would be a crime to wake him up. He looked like an angel with the way his dark lashes caressed his cheeks, his moles painting a beautiful constellation on his serene face. Taehyung longed to trace it, with his lips or his fingers, he didn’t care.
He cleared his throat, trying to will away these kinds of thoughts, which were increasingly recurrent where the younger was concerned. At some point, ーprobably since the moment he laid eyes on Jeongguk for the first timeー, he knew he had lost this love game he’d been playing for years, the one in which you lose if you fall.
At first, there were maybe two full weeks of self-denial. However, one fateful morning, Taehyung had brought coffee to Jeongguk’s office, and lo and behold, he received his first unguarded bunny smile. The one in which the corners of Jeongguk’s eyes crinkled, his nose was cutely scrunched, and the lovely front teeth made a stellar apparition. From that point on, the hyung knew he was screwed, but as emotionally mature as Taehyung prided himself to be, he decided to take it in stride and see where it took him.
He’d only been in love twice, and both times he’d been left with a broken heart; hence his apprehension and previous resistance to falling in love again. No rules seemed to apply to Jeongguk, though. Taehyung thought that the man could break his heart in every possible way, yet he’d still be happy he had at least been on the receiving end of that adoring gaze once in his life.
The brunette was lost in his thoughts about the man sleeping by his side when he noticed that the roadside, which had been turning greener with each kilometer they put between themselves and Seoul, had started to shine with a frozen stardust film that melted into the murky bushes and trees the headlights uncovered stretch by stretch.
“Psst, Jeongguk. Gukie”, he whispered.
Jeongguk kept on snoring softly, his side pressed against a Kirby pillow Taehyung had in the car for this exact reason. His doll-like face reflected clearly on the window thanks to the darkness outside, and he was even drooling. Taehyung thought ーwith a roll of his eyesー that he shouldn’t find it as cute as he did.
After a few minutes, the road left the forest behind, and Taehyung was blown away by the mountain plains covered in snow. It seemed like they were driving through sparkly cotton clouds.
“Jeongguk-ah, look!”
“Hm?”.
“Jeongguk, look, snow! It’s snow!”
The youngest opened his eyes lazily while a dreamy smile stretched his lips; his doe eyes shining their own light onto the frosty paradise Taehyung had woken him up for.
“Oh, hyung”, he whispered in awe, “it’s beautiful”.
“Yeah”.
After a while, he realized Jeongguk had stopped staring at the frozen canvas outside to look at his profile instead, so he took a second to wink in his direction with a cheeky smile. Such antics never failed to make Jeongguk blush.
“So beautiful”, Taehyung echoed under his breath.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
The first day after the trip was exhausting. They had arrived late into the night, however, that didn’t stop them from rising with the sun. In a display of efficiency, the pair had already visited two places by eleven in the morning, although neither of them were beautiful or cool enough, and their third visit was proving to be disappointing in the sense that it would not work for style reasons.
Jeongguk whined internally at the thought that they still had another place to inspect before they could retire to the hotel. He knew that if he complained out loud, Taehyung would take the opportunity to haul him up in the rental Jeep and take him back in the blink of an eye. And, as tempting as lounging around with Taehyung in a hotel suit all afternoon was, he kept his mouth shut because this was a work trip; if he kept repeating it enough to himself maybe he would believe it.
“It’s such an incredible place, isn’t it?”, Taehyung broke his train of thought.
Jeongguk silently agreed. It was an amazing place—a traditional Korean-style palace with all modern luxuries integrated respectfully into its heritage. The fact that the snow had covered the gardens in its wooly winter blanket only gave the place an aura of timelessness.
It was a magical place; maybe that was the reason that Jeongguk’s mind couldn’t avoid conjuring the most insane thoughts.
He looked at Taehyung’s profile while the other stared wistfully at the crystalized powder that sat on the hip-and-gable roof of the majestic building.
“Good place for a wedding”, Jeongguk settled on saying, throwing a nervous kick at snow-covered ground.
“Would you like to get married in a place like this?”, the hyung asked in a conversational tone.
The younger looked up in surprise to find Taehyung’s brown bread cheeks morphing into pink, although his gaze remained dreamy and locked to the peaceful scenery.
“I…”, Jeongguk’s breath hitched under the pressure of his own feelings, “I would”.
He didn’t have the courage to add anything else, even while he longingly watched the eldest leave towards the car. Taehyung didn’t turn around once, and it left the younger man with a sinking heart.
He fidgeted where he was, needing a moment to compose himself. Of course, he had thought non-stop about their conversation some days ago, when Taehyung told him that he had needed time to think about him—about his feelings for him. Jeongguk immediately regretted not allowing him to speak and had been trying to find ways to bring up the topic without much success.
He sighed, following the hyung’s footprints to the jeep, while Taehyung was making himself comfortable in the front seat. His curly hair was disheveled under his beanie, and he wore a big fuzzy sweater that engulfed half of his body. Jeongguk opened the car door, biting his lower lip; his eyes (unknowingly) shining with reverence, because Taehyung was the real-life picture of the coziest, most pure boyfriend material.
Hence, he strapped his seat-belt on and started the car with a determined frown on his face. If the opportunity arose again, he would take it, and to hell with his fears.
He wanted Taehyung.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Slow Christmassy jazz drifted softly from hidden speakers, and the room, styled in a western Victorian style, dripped with golden seasonal ornaments. Taehyung looked right at home in such an elegant setting. Even if it was a bit pompous for Jeongguk’s taste, he couldn’t help but admire the vintage wallpaper, with its dark green flowers, because it sat as the perfect backdrop to Taehyung’s otherworldly beauty. As if on purpose, the hyung had worn a dark green suit and tie for their first day of visits, which made Jeongguk oddly proud. Not for the color combination, of course, but because it was clear that, for some reason, the artist was taking his duty as an unofficial intern and assistant in the Min-Park wedding very seriously.
“How did you like the last place?”, the hyung was saying over their candle-lit dinner, “I don’t know why, but I think Yoongi would like it. Jimin, though, I’m not so sure…”
Jeongguk agreed while eating the Mediterranean style dinner. It was all cooked with palestinian olive oil, and it showed: his mouth salivating just by the smell of it.
“Honestly, I’ve thought about them enough for today”, he replied, “although who am I kidding? Most times I can’t avoid thinking about them, even if I don’t want to”, the younger groaned, rubbing his forehead.
Taehyung observed him for a while before speaking. The apprehensive look in his eyes gave away his intentions, though; it was the one Jeongguk recognized the hyung had when he wanted to talk about anything Jimin and Yoongi-related.
“You never told me your version of things”.
“The Taylor’s version”, Jeongguk joked, trying to deflect and dissipate the inevitable tension the topic brought on his body. His physiotherapist told him the contractures on his back were a trauma response at this point.
However, Taehyung didn’t humor him. Instead, he ignored the comment and just waited until Jeongguk caved.
“What do you want to know?”, he breathed.
“Whatever you want to tell me”, Taehyung replied with a sheepish smile, “if you don’t want to tell me anything, that’s okay too, of course”.
Jeongguk inhaled as if it would help to gather his thoughts, and let his cutlery rest on the table; his hands splayed on top of it as if to ground himself.
“Jimin and Yoongi broke up two years ago”, he began. “They had been together for a year and, after less than half a year, Jimin came onto me”, the younger closed his eyes, feeling the familiar tinge of shame wrap around him. “At first I wasn’t sure, but you see, I’ve always had a crush on my hyungs”, he covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. “Especially on Jimin and Namjoon-hyung”.
“That’s okay. As you know, it happens to the best of us”, Taehyung smiled encouragingly.
“I didn’t want to mess things up in the group, which is exactly what ended up happening”, Jeongguk explained, his tone getting more somber with each word, “but conversations were had, and everyone was okay with it. It was all apparently so well managed, you know?”, he let out a sarcastic laugh, “emotional responsibility at its finest”.
“Fuck, Jeongguk. I’m so sorry”.
“Yeah, anyway”, the younger one cleared his throat, trying to keep the tears at bay, “I agreed, and we tried out dating, and when I grew comfortable and had finally made up my mind that I was happy to call us boyfriends, Jimin broke up with me in front of everybody on Christmas Eve. Turns out, he and Yoongi realized they couldn’t be apart, so they got back together. The end”.
Jeongguk’s voice had grown unaffected as he recounted the events ーa fake smile adorning his face by the end of itー, but his leg was jumping under the table, his fingers tapping into the tablecloth in an exasperated rhythm.
“That’s so awful”, Taehyung offered in his most soothing voice, “and I’m so sorry that it happened to you”.
“Is Jimin’s version the same?”, Jeongguk couldn’t avoid asking with a curious tilt to his head.
“Yes”, the hyung replied; Jeongguk didn’t need to know the self-deprecation added to the story when it was Jimin who told it.
The raven-haired took it in, silently staring at what was left of his food.
“You know what bothers me the most, though?”, he burst out.
Taehyung reached for his forearm across the table in a comforting caress. He tried to find Jeongguk’s eyes with his, but the latter kept his gaze stubbornly glued to the plate in front of him.
“What is it?”.
“What sends me in for loops of overthinking and depression is not the fact that Jimin left me for Yoongi. Yoongi is so much better than me in every way… I already knew that before all of this happened, it’s an immutable fact that I can’t do anything about”, before Taehyung could interrupt him ーcontradict himー, he kept on talking: “what kills me is that…”, he took a deep breath in, “I was a hurdle in their path, hyung, and for what”.
Taehyung observed Jeongguk’s glossy eyes, taking his hand in his, intertwining their fingers.
“I don’t think they saw it that way, Jeonggukie”.
“I don’t care”, Jeongguk sniffed, emotions getting the best of him. “Do you know how ashamed of myself I am, when I think I willingly put myself there? To be an obstacle in… in their way to happiness? In Yoongi's happiness? Oh, god. What must have Yoongi thought of me? It's not like I had been pinning for Jimin or whatever, like he had. I just decided to give it a try; a fucking try. I hurt my hyung for a tryout, and at the same time I felt so… used”.
Seeing Jeongguk cry because of this once more was upsetting, even more so when he had been the one to ask him about it. Taehyung felt his chest constricting with a pain of his own.
“You have never been an obstacle in any of your friend's happiness, Gukie, and you didn't hurt Yoongi: it was his responsibility to tell you if he wasn't okay with it. And I absolutely fucking understand why you felt used", he blurted. “Then again, you shouldn’t forget it’s difficult to manage the fine line between platonic and romantic love. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, okay?”
Jeongguk looked up at the ceiling, trying to will his tears away and not make more of a scene than he already had. They would be staying in this hotel for two more nights; he didn’t want to be recognized because he had cried in public.
“I-I don’t know. Since everything went down, I have been second guessing myself till the point where I don’t feel comfortable cuddling with my hyungs anymore. Namjoon has never been overly cuddly, but Hoseok is. I am. But it makes me feel insecure now and I… I miss it.
“Hm”, Taehyung acknowledged, looking into Jeongguk’s dark eyes and wanting nothing more than to bring him all the comfort that he missed so much, “I also have some problems with… with finding connection, in this way. Sometimes I feel like I am touch-starved, even. I… it’s the first time I say that out loud”, he said with a sheepish smile.
Jeongguk didn’t have to be the only one to split his heart open, after all.
“Oh, hyung. Don’t worry, I’m the same too”, Jeongguk admitted, squeezing his hand. “What do you do when it gets too much? I… I have a big pillow I ordered online and I sleep with it”, he confessed with a blush.
“Well, I think your way of coping is healthier than mine”, Taehyung chuckled, closing his eyes with a sigh, “as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I just sleep with people”.
There was a beat of silence while Jeongguk bit nervously at his lower lip, wiping the tears at the corners of his eyes with his knuckles.
“Yeah, I saw”, he finally muttered, “so… that wasn’t y-your boyfriend? girlfriend…?”.
“No”, Taehyung snorted, “if I had a partner you would know them by now, duh”, he shook his head. “I just sleep with random people but it… I think it doesn’t satisfy my need for closeness, honestly”.
Taehyung’s heart-shaped lips closed with a frown that matched the one on his eyebrows, and he lost himself, looking somewhere in the room like he was in a daze.
“Hyung… did you just realize that?”, Jeongguk asked under his breath.
“Yeah”.
The brunette let his head fall back with a groan, and Jeongguk’s eyes were drawn to the smooth expanse of golden skin on his throat. His heart started beating faster in his ribcage, because a sudden, crazy idea formed in his mind. The blur of a chance he didn't want to miss.
He cleared his throat, and before he could stop it, he found himself proposing it outloud:
“Maybe we could try to fill that void together, hyung”, Jeongguk rasped, his voice breathier than he would have liked.
Taehyung snapped his head to look at him across the table, a stunned look on his face.
“Jeongguk-ah”, he warned, a dangerous shine igniting in his chestnut eyes.
“What?”, Jeongguk said like he wasn’t crying five minutes ago, “you don’t have a partner, I don’t have one either. We’re both consenting adults, and will talk about everything. I mean actually, honestly communicate to avoid any misunderstandings”.
“What if I can’t be honest, huh?”, Taehyung inquired, “what if you don’t want me to be?”
The hyung gave him a heated look which only spurred Jeongguk on; Taehyung only stared at him this way when he thought Jeongguk wouldn’t see. The fact that he was now looking at him with such unadulterated want, so very openly, made lust coil deliciously in Jeongguk’s stomach.
“I wasn’t ready to listen to what you have to say before, but I am now”, he assured.
Taehyung’s eyebrows reached his hairline, and he licked his lips before biting on them.
“Jeongguk, are you sure? Do you really want to know what was going on in my head that day?”
“Yes, I want to know what exactly it is you were doing when you disappeared on me that night”, he challenged.
Taehyung stood there with a gaping mouth for a second while Jeongguk ignored the voice in his head that told him how cute the hyung’s stunned expression was.
“Fuck. Okay”, Taehyung finally muttered.
Without any preambles, the hyung raised from his seat and started his way towards the hall outside, where the elevators were. When he realized Jeongguk wasn’t following, he turned and jerked his head sharply towards the hall before resuming his pace. Needless to say, the younger scrambled to follow.
Jeongguk was a ball of nerves, swirling with both excitement and anxiety alike. The anticipation cursed through him when he stopped right next to Taehyung, in front of the elevator. Their shoulders were barely touching, although the brunette didn’t even acknowledge his presence at first.
Then, the doors opened with a «ding!» and they made space for an old lady to come out before going in. However, Jeongguk had barely taken a step inside and the doors were still open when Taehyung wrapped an arm around his waist to press the younger’s back flush against his chest. Flustered, Jeongguk’s doe eyes met his in the mirror; the cherry blush that crept on his cheeks perfectly visible under the intense light. Taehyung pressed the button for their floor and the doors closed with a soft noise.
Jeongguk’s senses were flooded with his presence in the enclosed space, making him dizzy and overwhelmed, but in a good way. Taehyung’s body felt strong and warm, cradling his; the hyung’s breath near his cheek tickled his ear, sending shivers down his spine; and his big palm squeezed his waist in a searing touch. Jeongguk couldn’t help sinking into his embrace, rendered to a pliant body in Taehyung’s hands.
“You want to know exactly what I was doing that night? I’ll tell you, Jeongguk-ah”, the hyung whispered before he gently bit his earlobe, stealing a whimper from the man in his arms, and his voice dropped like molten honey in a sensual drawl; the sexiest register Jeongguk had ever heard him speak in, “I went to the club, determined to get you out of my mind… and a cute guy tried to pick me up”, Jeongguk felt his his lungs clench in his chest with anticipation, “but I didn’t feel like leaving with him… because he wasn’t you”.
Jeongguk gasped at the confession, holding onto Taehyung’s forearm to keep himself steady. He felt weak in the knees because of the depths Taehyung’s sultry voice could reach; the way the hyung held him closer and looked at him as if he wanted to eat him up.
“But I thought to myself: that’s not it, let me look somewhere else”, Taehyung continued, nuzzling lightly on his cheek before locking his dark eyes on his through the mirror again, “so I swiped on tinder like there was no tomorrow, but I found no one interesting in there, because guess what”, he chuckled, shaking his head before mouthing directly against his ear, “ they were not you . Do you see the pattern?”
He raised an eyebrow, challenging Jeongguk to say anything, but the latter was too overwhelmed ーand too turned onー, to vocalize anything at all except a whimper when he felt the hyung’s hardening cock starting to press flush against his ass. Jeongguk looked away, unable to hold his gaze anymore, but the hyung clicked his tongue and grasped his chin with his fingers, forcing him to face their reflection under the golden lamplight.
“Then, you know what I did? I checked my phone. But were there any messages from you, Jeongguk? No, there were not, so I thought that you must not really care about me like that. After all, you didn’t message me first, not even once”.
“Taehyungー”.
“So I drunk my way to the dancefloor, where there was this guy with wavy black hair, around my height, who kept on grinding on me, so I let him take me to the bathroom”, he said, turning Jeongguk around by sheer force.
Jeongguk let himself be manhandled against the mirror until his body was cornered between Taehyung’s arms. He clung to the hyung’s suit like it was a lifeline, so he wouldn’t get lost in the other’s scorching gaze. Their faces were almost touching, their beauty marks aligning, chin to chin.
“But there was just a problem: the bathroom was too well illuminated”, Taehyung frowned, looking at the younger’s lips once before staring into his starry eyes with determination, “and once again, I was confronted with the fact that he... wasn't… you”.
Jeongguk didn’t wait for Taehyung’s next move; he claimed his lips with his own as soon as the last words were out instead, which prompted the hyung to kiss him back just as eagerly, shamelessly pushing his tongue into his mouth.
«Ding!»
The younger flinched and interrupted their kiss. They had reached their floor, and thankfully no one was waiting to witness their disheveled state when the doors opened. The brunette chased after his lips for a second before the Jeongguk pressed a palm to his chest.
“Not here”, he said as sternly as he could in his breathlessness, pushing Taehyung off of him.
Taehyung pouted but followed him quietly to his room. Jeongguk prayed silently that he would unlock the door without problems instead of making a fool of himself due to his trembling hands, and he succeeded.
The hyung gasped in surprise when Jeongguk shoved him inside without much finesse. In the space of five seconds, his back was pressed against the wall, the door shut with a loud «BAM» and Jeongguk threw himself at him. Before Taehyung could react, Jeongguk gathered the brunette’s tie in a fist, and tugged on it, choking lightly the base of his throat to mold their lips together. He was panting, pressing his fist to the hyung’s collarbones, and Taehyung let his hands cup his ass to curve Jeongguk’s body against his.
“I’m going to regret asking this, but did you fuck him, Taehyung?” Jeongguk growled, tightening the grip on his tie, “did you?”
The hyung was momentarily perplexed, but then he surprised them both by barking out a laugh.
“Aw, baby”, he cooed in his velvety voice, “what do you want to hear, that I didn’t, or that I did while I thought of you?”.
Jeongguk felt his face burn and, at the lack of a decent answer, he settled for silencing Taehyung with a kiss. He also let go of the brunette’s tie in favor of tangling his hands in his chocolate curls while Taehyung deepened the kiss, impatiently grabbing onto Jeongguk’s midriff with his waist-encompassing hands. It elicited a moan from the younger which left the hyung’s stomach clenching with need.
“Wait. We need… we need to take it slow”, he panted when they started grinding on each other in earnest, pressing his forehead against Jeongguk’s.
“Okay”, the other replied, although he then proceeded to buck his hips once again.
“Please, Jeongguk, you’re making me crazy”, Taehyung pleaded before locking their lips together again.
Jeongguk grinned into the kiss and finished it with a peck.
“Why do we have to take it slow? Give me one good reason”, he said with an innocent pout, looking at Taehyung through his long lashes.
Jeongguk looked utterly fucked out: his gaze dizzy with pleasure; his focus somewhere on Taehyung’s lips; his breath coming out in puffs that caressed Taehyung’s face… He was so pretty, it had a devastating effect.
“You’re right”.
Jeongguk let out a surprised yelp when Taehyung hoisted him up by the back of his thighs, splaying his hands over his ass. He shamelessly let himself feel the curve of it while he walked them to the bed, and when he reached it, he kneeled on it before he let himself fall. Lastly, he caged the younger in his arms between him and the covers, which stole another undignified whimper from Jeongguk.
“Hyung”.
Whatever it was that he was going to say, it was absorbed by Taehyung’s hungry mouth. He explored the other with his tongue almost aggressively, like he needed him as much as the oxygen in his lungs. Then, he trailed open-mouthed kisses down Jeongguk’s chin with the same fiery resolve, all the way to his neck. The younger couldn’t contain his moans when he felt Taehyung biting not so gently at the erogenous zone, his skin being very sensitive there.
“Hyung, ngh. Hyu-hyung. Taehyung-hyung”, he moaned, all flushed and needy with bitten red lips and blown-out pupils.
Then, Jeongguk started to unbutton Taehyung’s shirt while the hyung kept marking his throat, until the younger commanded:
“Kiss me, hyung”.
Raising himself on his arms to be able to look at Jeongguk’s face, the hyung was going to kiss him again when he allowed himself to take him in for a second.
“What’s wrong?”, Taehyung croaked.
“Nothing”, Jeongguk faltered with a confused frown, letting his hands rest on Taehyung’s forearms for a second.
“Something’s wrong, you were… You are…”, Taehyung couldn’t explain what he saw in Jeongguk’s face that wasn’t there ten seconds ago, “something’s off. What’s wrong, baby?”
“N-nothing, it’s just…”.
For a moment, Jeongguk seemed at a loss of what to say, but suddenly, his gaze became focused, his face crumpled and his eyes glazed over.
“Hey, hey, no”, Taehyung mumbled, moving to get off of him.
“N-no”, Jeongguk whimpered, wrapping his arms around Taehyung’s neck to keep him there. “I don’t want to stop”, he added with a sniffle.
“Oh, baby”, Taehyung cooed, kissing his brow, “it’s okay. We don’t have to stop, but we can if you want to”, he tentatively said, trying to guess the best course of action, “why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”
Jeongguk sniffed some more and a first round of tears made his glide down the sides of his face.
“I don’t know, I justー”, he sobbed, “I’m sorry”.
“Don’t be, okay? Can I kiss you?”, Taehyung asked.
“Please”, Jeonggukk whined, making the other smile.
When Taehyung pressed their lips together this time, it was gentle, almost feather-like.
“I want you to kiss me for real”, Jeongguk pouted right after, eliciting a giggle from Taehyung.
“You’re so adorable”, he mumbled, making Jeongguk look shyly away. “If you want me to kiss you like before, we need to talk about what’s going on, baby”.
Jeongguk shifted slightly and Taehyung did too, finding a comfortable position in which their bodies could stay glued on top of each other.
“I honestly don’t know”, Jeongguk protested, “maybe… maybe some part of my brain kept thinking that you didn’t enjoy it when I tugged on your tie? That I was too rough when we have never talked about anything? But you seemed to like it, and I…I don’t know”, he groaned with a frustrated sigh.
“I did like it, but I understand why that could bother you. You have to know, though, that I would tell you if you did something I didn’t like. Can you promise me you would, too?”, Taehyung whispered, leaving a kiss on Jeongguk’s nose.
“Of course I would”, he blubbered in reply.
“Alright... So, did I do something you didn’t like that made you cry?”, Taehyung prodded with a concerned frown.
“Oh, hyung”, Jeongguk exclaimed, tenderly cupping his face with his hands, “you didn’t do anything I didn’t like, I would have told you, I promise”.
“Okay”, Taehyung said, letting his mouth peck Jeongguk’s for a brief, sweet second, “then was it the doubts about the tie that made you cry?”
Jeongguk fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment and Taehyung started petting his hair, combing the raven locks away from his gorgeous face
“Yes and no”, the younger gave him a sheepish smile after a while, “I just… I think…”.
Taehyung waited patiently, hoping that Jeongguk would find it in himself to trust him enough to disclose his feelings.
“I guess I realized I don’t feel like going all the way today but I-I didn’t want to disappoint you”, Jeongguk finally said, trying to hide his face in his hands.
“Oh, baby”, Taehyung let out a deep breath, “I would never act like that”.
“I know! I know. That’s why I’m s-sorry, a-and now I’ve ruined the m-mood, and I am still so horny”, he whined before he started to cry in earnest.
Taehyung felt the urge to laugh, because Jeongguk was acting so adorable; and the situation felt a little absurd, with the younger yelling he was horny with tears in his eyes; but the brunette reined it in, not wanting Jeongguk to believe he was taking his feelings lightly.
“I think you just reached an emotional overload, with everything that happened since yesterday”, Taehyung reasoned, “but don’t worry, you’ll still be horny tomorrow, and I’ll still be here to do something about it”.
Jeongguk smacked his shoulder, although a chuckle escaped his lips.
“Don’t make fun of me!”, he wept between sniffles.
“I won’t, sorry, baby”, Taehyung pouted, sealing his lips again in another soft kiss.
“I’m still sorry for ruining the mood”, Jeongguk mumbled with a pout.
“Don’t be”, Taehyung said, delicately kissing away the tears from his face, “do you want to sleep? I can go to my room if youー”.
“Don’t you dare leave me now, Kim Taehyung”, Jeongguk frowned from under him, pressing his hands to the small of his back for good measure.
“Okay”, another press of their lips, “let’s change into some pyjamas, at least? It’s been a long day and I can’t wait to cuddle you, bunny”.
“Ya”, Jeongguk blushed, pushing the hyung away and scrambling to sit on the bed, “who are you calling a bunny?”.
“My apologies. Is it only «baby» from now on, then?”, Taehyung said with a wink.
“Sh-shut up!”
Chapter 5: Gave you my heart
Notes:
smut warning, i guess??? its all smut lol
anyway, happy new year!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk stepped out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel and a cloud of steam. His skin was flushed from the hot and cold water, and although his joints still ached from the tension accumulated in his body, the shower had managed to relax his muscles a little bit.
He looked at himself in the mirror with more kindness than usual ー he had always been his own harshest critic, after all. This time, though, he felt strangely content. He had started to shave again since the night Taehyung almost disclosed his feelings, after a year of letting his body hair grow freely. Discarding the towel now, he inspected his smooth, honeyed skin and found himself oddly satisfied with his looks in a way he hadn’t been in a long time.
Taehyung had left for his room earlier to get ready for bed and Jeongguk refused to let his nerves get the best of him while waiting for him to come back. Therefore, he took his time to pat himself dry and to lather lotion all over his body. He had also shaved over perfectly hairless skin for extra softness, just in case, going as far as to apply baby oil on his thighs and groin. He zoned out during the process, not keen on reflecting on why he wanted his skin to feel so terse and satiny. Finally, when he was done, he put on the comfy sweats Taehyung had insisted he pack last night ーwhich seemed like a lifetime ago.
He also dimmed the lights and turned on his mood light on the purple setting, casting the room in a soothing glowーbringing it with him had been a good call.
Above all, Jeongguk was trying not to beat himself up about having ruined his chance at getting Kim Taehyung’s hands on him, although there was something else that was bothering him as well. Subsequently, that’s how the man in question found him barely five minutes later: in an oversized long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants, sitting on the fancy chaise-longue in his room with a frown on his face, his phone in his hands and an irrepressible bouncy leg.
“Hey”, Taehyung said, letting himself in with Jeongguk’s card.
Two owlish eyes abruptly looked up at him, as if caught doing something illicit.
“Hi”, came Jeongguk’s reply. It was more like a high-pitched whine than anything else, and it made Taehyung giggle fondly while he stepped closer to the obviously restless man.
“I like the lighting”, Taehyung commented, looking around before letting his eyes fall on Jeongguk. “No need to be nervous, bun”, he then teased with a cheeky grin, “can I kiss you?”.
Jeongguk nodded with the same stunned look on his face, eliciting a chuckle from Taehyung. He didn’t know that the younger was not only shy about what had happened earlier but also mesmerized by his classical pyjamas. Per Jeongguk’s horny mind, the silky set ー which was worthy of anyone's grandfather ー , was definitively sexy when worn by Taehyung. It made him look manly and soft at the same time, a combination that he seemed to be a master of. Consequently, Jeongguk felt heat creeping up his neck, his fingers twitching with the need to grab him and pull him closer.
“I’m not going to bite”, Taehyung cooed, oblivious, before bending his body to press a soft peck at the seam of the younger’s lips.
Jeongguk wasted no time in claiming the hyung’s bottom lip with a gentle bite; the playful, wet aggression threatening to undo what a cold shower had managed to shut down for them both.
Before things could get heated again, Taehyung put some distance between them, standing straight with his hands on his hips.
“Sleep?”
“Yeah”, Jeongguk choked out, his honey cheeks tinted with a pretty shade of pink.
Taking the hand the hyung offered, he let himself be tucked into bed before Taehyung climbed in next to him. Since Jeongguk seemed so flustered and silent, the brunette turned to face him with a concerned look on his face.
“Are you sure you want me here? I canー”.
“Yes, I’m sure”, Jeongguk quickly burst out, his eyebrows raising in the middle. He looked at Taehyung and tugged at his silken sleeve, saying, “please, stay. I’m just nervous”.
Taehyung brought a hand to Jeongguk’s face to reverently caress a sharp cheekbone with his thumb. He also took in the way the shadows played on the younger’s face each time the mood light hovered in slow swirls, coating what little they saw in waves of purple.
“What can I do to help you relax, hm?”.
“There’s something I need to tell you”, Jeongguk nuzzled into the hyung’s palm as if to hide his face behind it, his body squirming lightly, “I said we need to be honest, but I wasn’t honest with you just now”.
“Okay…?”.
Jeongguk’s expressive gaze locked on Taehyung’s, stealing his breath away. The purple lights played off his doe eyes in the dark room, making his ethereal beauty all the more otherworldly. Taehyung was enchanted and made no sound when Jeongguk tenderly took his hand and started to trace the protruding veins on it.
“I did cry because I thought I couldn’t go all the way”, he began, “but I couldn’t go all the way because something wasーis bothering me”.
It was Taehyung’s turn to shift nervously under the sheets.
“Whatー”
“I…”, Jeongguk sighed, “fuck, this is embarrasing”, he groaned, clutching his pillow and covering his head with it.
“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to”, Taehyung frowned, concerned.
“No”, Jeongguk countered, his voice muffled by the pillowcase. "NoーI want to, I…", he cleared his throat and hugged the pillow to his chest, his doe eyes peeking out cutely over it, “I couldn’t stop thinking that maybe you slept with this guy because, in the end, you didn’t clarify if you did or not; and if you did, it would upset me, although I have no right to be upset; and that bothers me, ‘cause I’m a mess, and I’mー”.
Taehyung let go of the breath he had been holding, his gut tightening with emotion and relief at the vulnerabilities Jeongguk was willing to share with him and him alone.
“Bun”, he drawled, wanting nothing more than to have Jeongguk in his arms, although the pillow the man was hiding behind prevented him from doing so. “You don’t need to apologize. If you had slept with someone, say, last week, I’d be so fucking jealous right now”.
Upon hearing that, Jeongguk’s eyes opened wide and he paused, taking his time to process this information.
“Oh, no, hyung”, he finally said with a conflicted expression, tucking the feather-filled cushion under his chin, “but I did. I fucked someone last week…”.
Taehyung blinked at him for a second, his jaw dropping and closing in silent disbelief.
“What…? When…?”, he mumbled.
“It was Lee Dong Wook, I think, in my dreams”, the younger one replied with false naïveté, “although it was him fucking me, not the other way around”.
Taehyung took the damn pillow from Jeongguk and threw it somewhere in the room, sitting up indignantly.
“Yah, do you think it’s okay to tease me like that?”, he groaned, climbing on top of the younger.
“It is, because you still haven’t told me if you slept with that fucking dude or not”, the other stubbornly replied.
Taehyung pinned Jeongguk’s wrists on each side of his head, his eyes darkening with determination.
“I thought I made it clear before, in the elevator, but I'll say it again: I won’t have anybody else but you, Jeongguk”, Taehyung declared with outstanding intensity, resolute to make the younger understand. “I did follow him to the bathroom, but I couldn’t go through with it. I told him my heart was somewhere else, and then I went home”.
Taehyung’s words made the younger’s skin erupt in goosebumps, a spark igniting in his gut at the feeling of the hyung’s weight all over him.
“Your heart?” Jeongguk croaked, eliciting a chuckle from the hyung.
“You’re not getting more confessions out of me tonight, bunny”, Taehyung informed him with a fond, if exasperated smile, “the confession office is closed for today. You’ll need to schedule a date for next week”.
The hyung proceeded to bite playfully at Jeongguk’s throat, which sent a shiver of desire down the younger’s spine, his toes curling into the sheets.
“How clever, trying to get a date out of me”, he tried to joke, although his tone was too airy and his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest.
“I must be, If I got into Jeon Jeongguk’s bed”, Taehyung chuckled.
Jeongguk was unable to resist any longer and lowered him with his arms around his neck, causing their lips to collide. A flare of molten arousal cursed through him when his tongue met Taehyung’s, while the hyung’s words echoed in his mind, equally searing a path into his heart.
“You say you won’t have anyone but me…”, Jeongguk rasped against his lips, feeling bold, “prove it, then”.
Taehyung canted his hips, sensually grinding their groins together before he even had time to think about what he was doing. After some minutes of passionately swallowing down the younger’s moans, he pulled away pressing their foreheads together, and Jeongguk cupped his face in his hands, holding him still.
“Taehyung”, he breathed through his spit-slicked lips, feeling his cock aching between his legs, “I mean it: I want to go all the way now”.
“Baby…”, Taehyung said between sharp breaths, a hesitant look on his face, “I don’t want to be a killjoy, but shouldn’t we just… try to sleep? We’ve got all the time in the world”.
The hyung tried to live up to his words, although his erection wouldn’t cooperate when he could feel Jeongguk’s against him. Furthermore, the way the younger’s face and wavy black hair were delicately washed with a purple glow striked something heady in his belly, turning his mind into mush.
“Hyuuuung”, Jeongguk pleaded, giving him an openmouthed, messy kiss until Taehyung’s body was almost trembling with need, “I’m sure. It’s been a while since I slept with anybody, you know? But I want it with you, so-so-so much”, he said, pushing his hips up and arching his back beautifully to press their bodies closer.
Taehyung moaned at the friction, admitting defeat alarmingly soon. He was so weak for Jeongguk.
“Okay, but if you want to stop at any moment, tell me. You have to promise, Jeongguk-ah, I’m serious”.
“I promise, babe”, Jeongguk said, sealing the words with a peck.
Taehyung felt a yearning setting deep in his heart when he heard the pet name fall from the younger’s lips. He placed a hand beneath Jeongguk’s jaw, pressing his thumb against his plump bottom lip, while the latter looked up at him expectantly, his doe eyes twinkling with anticipation in the shadows.
“Alright, so”, the hyung began after clearing his throat, his voice deeper than usual, “do you have a preference, top or bottom? Any power dynamic or kinks I should know about? Any things you don’t like?”
Jeongguk tangled his hands in Taehyung’s hair absentmindedly.
“I usually top, but I enjoy bottoming too. I guess I just… It’s like… I give top vibes, I guess, so that’s what my partners usually expect of me? And because I enjoy it, I don’t mind doing it, but…”.
“You want to be taken care of, this time, baby?”, Taehyung guessed, pressing a kiss to Jeongguk’s forehead.
The younger nodded, the tender heart-shaped lips sending a tingling feeling all over him, clouding his mind with longing. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of the lust and devotion consuming him, which had Taehyung’s name written all over it.
“I know you can be taken care of as a top too, but, hmmm. I guess I fantasized with someone willing to take their time with me, opening me up and stuff, you know? Aish, this is so embarrassing”, he whined, hiding his face against Taehyung's sturdy chest.
“Shush, it’s not”, the hyung laughed low, voice dropping to a raspy drawl, “I’d say it’s sweet and kinda hot, to be honest”.
Jeongguk let his palm cup the hard cock poking his tummy through his pants, stealing a moan from the man on top of him.
“I’ll trust your dick on that one”, he mumbled bashfully, “although I have to say you’re so big, hyung. I don’t know if… fuck, at risk of sounding like a cheesy pornstar, I don’t know if it will fit”.
“Don’t you worry, bun. I’ll make it fit”, Taehyung whispered in his ear, which had Jeongguk’s mind spiraling and his cock throbbing inside his sweats.
“Okay”, the younger whimpered, sparks of heat dancing in his belly.
With a satisfied smirk, Taehyung grabbed the seam of Jeongguk’s shirt and tugged it over his head.
“You…”, the hyung whispered in a reverent tone when confronted with a very naked, chiseled and tattooed torso, “you’ve got fucking tattoos”, he ended up mumbling.
Jeongguk stuck out his tongue in replyーbiting on it playfullyー, his coy smile making Taehyung’s blood boil with arousal.
“You like ‘em?”
“Yeah”, Taehyung gaped at him, “fuck”.
The younger man’s body had been relentlessly sculpted in the gym, and it showed. His stomach was flat under velvety honey skin, except for the grooves of his abs. His brown little nipples called for Taehyung’s mouth, and beautiful ink stretched from his right forearm to his shoulder, hinting that the drawing continued on his back. His body seemed to come to life under the cold shimmer of the purple lights, and the hyung felt another wave of arousal filling his cock to full hardness.
“I never imagined you’d have a full sleeve”, Taehyung said, a bewildered expression on his face while he traced the shape of a tiger-lily: the rendition of Jeongguk’s birth flower drawn on his own flesh.
“I don’t”, Jeongguk giggled breathlessly, “it’s not completed and never will be. I can’t imagine who would hire me if I had any of them on my wrist, where people could see”.
“You can always leave the agency and become a rock star”, Taehyung muttered under his breath, still astonished at the way the black lines contrasted with Jeongguk’s purple stained skin.
The tattooed man only giggled at the notion and brought his hands to Taehyung’s shirt.
“May I?”, he asked steadily, trying to hide the way his heart was jumping into overdrive.
The thing is, Jeongguk was so pretty, with his pink bottom lip slightly fuller than the top; not to mention the mole under it. Taehyung was under the spell of his big eyes and the way his pupils were dilated now, rendering them almost black and bewitching.
Taehyung nodded vehemently at the request.
After they discarded Taehyung’s shirt, the hyung let his chest fall on top of the other, skin to skin, and both of them gasped at the contact, which was intimate and electrifying at the same time.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk mewled, rubbing his nose against Taehyung’s and teasing him with the promise of a kiss, “hyung, fuck me? Please?”.
The lewd request contrasted with the way Jeongguk’s raven hair fell in waves around his face, like a halo, which gave him an air of innocence emphasized by his cute round nose. Taehyung’s stomach twisted in anticipation, kissing him deeply once more before he stood up from the bed to discard his pants and underwear.
Once he was naked, Taehyung stood with most of his weight in one foot; his golden skin stretching in a way that displayed his hip and soft stomach deliciously. It made Jeongguk want to sink his teeth into it; the tan expanse of flesh stunning under the dim purple light.
Although Jeongguk was sure that he was thinner than him, Taehyung looked bigger in every sense of the word. He had wider shoulders, a sturdy neck and long legs Jeongguk would be glad to hold open for him someday. All of that, paired with his protruding collarbones, big feet and veiny hands gave him a virile look that made the younger flex his abs with need and clamp his thighs together.
“Come on”, he whined from the bed, his eyes following the happy trail that led to some brown curls.
Taehyung’s was the biggest cock Jeongguk had ever seen in real life: it stood at attention against his stomach, so gigantic and girthy as to be challenging.
Meanwhile, Taehyung blinked, trying to come to terms with the fact that Jeongguk was waiting for him, half naked on the hotel bed and devouring him with his eyes.
“Brat”, he smiled, not showing how shaken he was.
The bed dipped down heavily under his weight before he hooked his fingers on Jeongguk’s waistband to pull it down.
“I’m not a brat”, the younger protested, letting his naked legs fall open on the bed, “I’m just needy”, he added in a tiny voice.
Taehyung kissed his pout away, caressing the thick thighs that he wanted wrapped around his waist.
“You’re dangerous”, he countered with a shaky breath, eliciting a snort from Jeongguk.
“Am I, now?” the younger purred, arching his back enticingly with a roguish gleam in his eyes, “lube’s in the bathroom... Wait, I’ll go look for it”.
Taehyung pressed his hands on his naked chest before he could get up, pushing him flat against the mattress.
“I’ll go”, he murmured.
However, the hyung got side-tracked, letting his hands trail down Jeongguk’s midriff, his eyes following the movement. The latter gasped, loving Taehyung’s wandering hands on him, and shivered when the hyung finally ceased to caress him to go find the things they needed.
Jeongguk’s muscles twitched against the cold air after such a warm touch; his patience deteriorating by the minute while Taehyung retrieved a toiletry bag from the bathroom.
“So”, the hyung smirked playfully while looking through it, “you came prepared?”.
“I always have lube and condoms with me”, Jeongguk lied with a shrug, “I’m an optimist”.
It made Taehyung laugh, at least.
“Well, well. I, for one, am very grateful for Past Jeongguk when he decided to pack a brand-new bottle of lube and an unopened box of condoms”, he said, displaying them in his hands. “Especially when he knew he was going on a trip alone with me”.
He had a smug smirk on his face, provoking Jeongguk to scoff.
“I told you, I always have some with me”, the younger man insisted, laying naked on the bed with an amused grin on his face.
“Yeah, yeah”, Taehyung dismissed him cheekily, stepping closer with feline grace. “Have you thought about how you want it, bun?”.
Without waiting for an answer, the hyung climbed on the bed on all fours, the mattress sinking under him, and scooted closer to glide his tongue across Jeongguk’s toned chest.
“Ah”, Jeongguk jolted with a moan, his fists curling into the sheets, “I… I wanna…”.
He tried to answer but Taehyung's kitten-licks on his nipples erased any trace of coherence in his already fuzzy mind.
“What do you want? I’m waiting”, Taehyung teased before sucking an erect nipple into his mouth.
“I’m trying”, Jeongguk whimpered, curving his spine brusquely at the onslaught on his tits. It only made his dick kick against his tummy, his muscles tight and rippling under his skin at the sensation, “you’re just not letting me think”.
“Fine, fine”, Taehyung drawled, leaving his chest after blowing some air on the abused area.
He then climbed between Jeongguk’s legs to knead the interior of his thighs with an innocent face. He wasn’t fooling anybody though, because he couldn’t help but to look down at the younger’s cock, which was steadily dripping against his stomach, and licking his lips.
“I want it like this”, Jeongguk said, his voice thick with arousal at having Taehyung between his legs and the hyung’s fat cock finally near where Jeongguk wanted it, “I want to see you, and I want you to see me when Iー, when I cum”.
Jeongguk’s heavy-lidded eyes and the lust glazing them over beckoned Taehyung closer, acquiescing to his decision with his mouth on his. He couldn’t resist squeezing Jeongguk just below the ass with his big hands either, stealing a surprised moan from him.
Eventually, Taehyung proceeded to uncap the lube he had left beside them on the bed. He made a show of dripping some of it in his hand, rubbing it with his fingers to warm it up, while Jeongguk’s thighs quivered in anticipation. When the hyung finally brought two fingers to rub at his lover’s pucker, the latter let his head fall on the mattress with a breathless whimper, hooking his hands beneath his knees to give Taehyung more access to his ass.
It had been so long since Jeongguk had felt intimacy like this ーeven longer that he had been thoroughly fingered and stretched by anybody. He felt his body melt under Taehyung’s hands; his hole was tight, but Taehyung gently coerced it open, making a mess with the lube by the squelching sounds that reverberated in the room. First, a finger went in, excruciating knuckle after knuckle; and then another finger joined the first; and then a third; until Jeongguk’s body was trembling from the onslaught of pleasure.
His ring of muscles slowly mellowed like a ripening fruit ready for the taking under the hyung’s ministrations, and when Taehyung curved his fingers just so to stimulate his prostate, a wail escaped from the back of his throat, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
He could feel globs of lube slithering out of his stretched, puffy hole. He felt wet and filthy and he was loving every second of it, and if Taehyung didn’t fuck him soon with his cock he was going to cum just from his fingers.
“H-hyung”, he pleaded, hiccupping through his moans, “I need you inside me, ah, god”.
Taehyung rushed to comply, ripping the condom package with his teeth and putting it swiftly on his shaft. Then, he lined himself up, biting on his lower lip, and pushed in slowly, his huge cock breaching Jeongguk’s rim for the first time.
“Ah, ngh, hyung”, Jeongguk moaned, his chest heaving under a glistening film of sweat while the blunt tip was being stuffed into him, “ah, I’ve thought about this so many times. You’re so fucking big, thoughーah”.
His hole was swallowing up Taehyung’s cock inch by inch, although the veiny member was so big and its girth so wide, that it would take a while for Jeongguk to be able to take him in as deep as it could go.
“Me too, baby”, Taehyung mumbled, his hair starting to stick to his forehead from the effort it was not to slide inside in one go.
“Yeah, hyung?” Jeongguk moaned, pre-cum trickling from the tip of his member at the thought of Taehyung touching himself while thinking about him. “Show me how, TaeーTaehyungie-hyung. Show me how much you want me”.
Taehyung cursed under his breath. Jeongguk’s dirty talk, on top of the fact that he was letting his quivering and boneless body be held down and fucked by Taehyung, did a lot of damage to the hyung’s self-control.
“You don’t need to rile me up, fuckーI'm barely being able to hold back as it is”, he warned with a pained expression as he watched his cock deepening more inside of his lover with each shallow thrust.
“Fuck, you’re so big”, the younger groaned again after a while, scrunching the bedsheets in his fists while he let his head tip back against the mattress, his eyes closed in a mix of bliss and discomfort, “give me a sec”.
“Baby, Iー”, Taehyung stopped his movements, only a part of his shaft sheathed in the plush ass, “it’s only half-way in”.
Jeongguk blinked and bit his lips, a whimper escaping from the back of his throat.
“Damn, you’re going to fuck me so good”, he prettily keened, his eyes rolling back while he unconsciously clenched down on the cock inside of him.
“Fuck”.
Taehyung couldn’t help bucking his hips at the sensation, brusquely impaling Jeongguk on another quarter of his cock.
“Ah, fuck, hyung!”.
“Sorry”, he rushed to say, soothingly caressing the back of his lover's thighs.
“N-no, ah, ngh, I l-like it”, Jeongguk whimpered, securing the grip on his knees to keep his trembling legs from shutting close, “more, please, I want more”.
“Are you sure?”.
“Please”, Jeongguk repeated with glassy, unfocused eyes, “I want you to fuck me full of your cum, hyung. Wanna feel you for days”.
Taehyung licked his lips before biting them and took the lube to wet Jeongguk’s perineum and rim, lathering up his own cock again. Afterwards, he started to thrust in and out with renewed vigor, steadily opening more space for himself inside the younger’s pliant body.
“You look so good, letting me fuck you, folded like this, in half. Fuck”, he breathed out, “So fucking flexible. So good for me”.
“Ah, h-hyung”, Jeongguk whined, letting his head fall back in a way that exposed his beautiful throat, his thighs falling from his grip to clamp on Taehyung’s sides.
The hyung looked incredibly hot, like some kind of supernatural creature. The purple lights stole an iridescent shimmer from his sweat coated skin, and a focused frown donned his face while his hips kept on moving, relentlessly feeding his shaft to Jeongguk’s hole.
Taehyung kept on thrusting inside, each time going deeper and deeper until he finally buried himself to the hilt; a groan escaping from him at the pleasure of having the younger’s tight hole completely wrapped around his shaft.
“Wait-wait-wait-waitー”, Jeongguk whimpered at the same time the other bottomed out, but it was too late.
The pressure on the younger’s prostate was disproportionate and Jeongguk wasn’t prepared for the mind-blowing sensation, crying out loud when the fat cock reached so deep he felt it in his tummy, mercilessly abusing his gland. His body spasmed helplessly with the force of an orgasm and liquid spurted from his cock, covering his stomach in rivulets of warm cum.
“Ah, ngh, fuck”, he moaned, hips twitching with the power of his release.
Meanwhile, Taehyung didn’t stop and shoved his cock into him with precision, burying the shaft into Jeongguk enough times to milk his orgasm out. However, when the latter started to let out a litany of his name, the hyung started to slow down his thrusts, wary of overstimulating him.
“Ah, ah, n-no”, Jeongguk whined, “n-no, hyung. D-don’t s-stop”.
“What?”.
Taehyung’s resolve faltered on hearing that, letting his hips smack against the other’s ass one more time.
“Yeah, please-please-please-pleaseー”, the younger whined, looking up to meet Taehyung’s eyes, “Don’t stop… Ha-harder, hyung. Fuck me harder”, he pleaded, “want you to fuck me stupid”.
“Fuck, Jeongguk”, Taehyung’s hips kicked hard, a moan low in his throat.
Eager to please, the hyung grabbed him by the hips, pulling Jeongguk toward him with each push. Then, his hands moved slightly to support Jeongguk beneath his back, raising the lower half of his body from the bed. The younger squealed and tears of pleasure glided down his cheeks when the hyung’s cock pressed in even further.
In this position, Taehyung was able to piston into him at a deeper, faster tempo. While Taehyung’s pace grew feral, Jeongguk’s moans raised in pitch and the cum from his earlier orgasm trickled down his torso, the filthy sensation of having the thick liquid making a mess on his chest fueling the fire deep in his belly.
“Such a beautiful cryer”, Taehyung rasped in awe, loving how ruined Jeongguk looked; how he was the cause of it, “and you’re hard again. You think you can cum for me one more time, baby angel?”
Jeongguk could only nod while his body was relentlessly pounded into, Taehyung’s pet names stealing his breath and making his heart melt. His mind was so hazy; all he felt were Taehyung’s grip on his ass and the tight press of his cock rubbing inside of him.
“That’s a good boy”, Taehyung praised, biting his lip in satisfaction when he saw Jeongguk’s eyes rolling back in pleasure, “praise kink, huh? Why am I not surprised?”, he chuckled, a rough sound coming deep from his chest. “Good boys live for some praise, hm?”
He let his hands fall on each side of Jeongguk’s head to hover over him without slowing his rhythm, voice low and raspy.
“T-taehyung-hyung”, Jeongguk managed between whimpers.
He scratched the hyung’s shoulder-blades with his nails, clinging onto him now that there was less distance between them. The warmth Taehyung’s body emanated grounded him and drove him crazy at the same time.
“What? You deserve it all, baby”, Taehyung chuckled, undulating his hips in a way that had Jeongguk’s stomach curling with pleasure: he was so close, again. “You’re so beautiful, the prettiest I’ve ever seen. Bet you taste good too”, he added, his eyes trailing down on Jeongguk’s cum stained chest.
The younger was consumed by Taehyung’s sultry voice and the way he fucked into him; his existence momentarily reduced to that of a limp body that had lust as its only captain and pleasure as its main goal. He closed his eyes in a blissful expression, his mouth hanging open with drool trickling down the corner of his plush lips while he let out a staccato of whiny little noises .
“Fuck. Look at you”, Taehyung groaned, “Won’t you let me have a taste, baby? Let hyung know how good you taste?”.
Jeongguk didn’t understand the meaning behind Taehyung’s request at first, his hazy eyes blinking open while his body kept being pushed up against the mattress time and time again.
“Come on”, Taehyung insisted, breathing into his mouth, “give it to me, baby”.
Jeongguk tried to slot their lips together unsuccessfully, Taehyung teasing him by sticking his tongue out, letting it slide against his for a brief, hot second. The younger’s cock twitched, red and swollen on his stomach, and he whined needily.
“H-hyung”.
“I didn’t mean your lips, angel”, Taehyung clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Be a good boy and let hyung have a taste of your cum, Jeongguk-ah”.
In any other situation, Jeongguk would have thought that sharing his cum like this was gross, however, he wasn’t thinking clearly at the time, because even the notion had the fire burning in his belly expanding to the rest of his body. His legs felt like jelly, and deep inside he liked to feel like a doll, or a toy: only good to be manhandled by Taehyung however he wanted, the need to please him at the forefront of his mind. Therefore, he gathered some of the cum pooling on his chest with his fingers and pressed them against Taehyung’s lips without hesitation.
The hyung’s reaction was immediate. He let his mouth fall open to savor his lover’s cum, unconsciously setting an animalistic rhythm with his pelvis that had Jeongguk crying out his name and pressing his fingers further in his mouth, making Taehyung gag on them without meaning to.
Having the younger’s fingers hit the back of his throat with the tangy taste of his cum on them had Taehyung cumming into Jeongguk’s ass; the most powerful orgasm wracking through his body. He fucked his load into the younger with abrupt thrusts until the high started to fade, Jeongguk whimpering little “ah, ah, ah’s” each time Taehyung’s balls collided with his ass with wet slaps from the amount of lube that had been fucked out of his hole.
The fact that Taehyung kept sucking on Jeongguk’s fingers all through his orgasm like his life depended on it had the latter cumming right afterward with a few tugs on his own cock, a throaty moan ripped out of his throat while the size of the softening shaft inside of him made the sensation all the more intense.
“Fuck, yes, yes, yeah”, he moaned, painting his tummy white all over again while he felt Taehyung’s sperm trickling out of his hole at the same time.
Eventually, Taehyung let his body fall on top of Jeongguk’s, who welcomed the weight, tenderly wrapping his arms around him.
“Fuck, that was amazing”, the younger said, trying to recover his breath.
“Yeah?”, Taehyung raised himself on his elbows to peck his brow, “are you okay?”
“More than okay”, Jeongguk whispered, grabbing the hyung by the nape to slot their lips together in a lazy kiss.
“I’m gonna pull out”, Taehyung said when they parted for breath.
Jeongguk’s first instinct was to tell him to wait, to let him stay like this some more, but he didn’t dare to, so he frowned his lips and tried to smile instead.
“Now we’ll have to shower again”, Taehyung mumbled, slowly pulling out and taking the condom off to tie it and throw it to the ground near the bed.
“Hm”, Jeongguk sleepily said, “tomorrow”.
“What?”, Taehyung barked out a laugh, falling to the side and pulling Jeongguk’s spent body closer by his narrow waist, “I would have sworn you were one of those people that would never sleep in stained sheets”.
“I was”, the younger groaned, pressing his face against Taehyung’s chest, “I guess this was a life-changing experience”.
Taehyung laughed, his mouth stretched in a boxy smile. He felt so fond and so incredibly satisfied.
“We’re going to regret not showering”, he whispered, pressing his lips to Jeongguk’s dark hair.
“Undoubtedly”, the younger yawned.
Jeongguk basked in their scents combined: of sex and sweat and something uniquely Taehyung, which logically stole a contented sigh from him. A while later, he realized he had fallen asleep when Taehyung shifted slightly, the sheets rustling with his careful movements. Then two «clicks» were heard, and the room was covered in complete darkness.
“Good night, baby”, Taehyung whispered while he hugged him tightly.
“G'night…”, the younger mumbled.
Right after, Jeongguk fell into a deep sleep, his sleeping pills forgotten somewhere inside his suitcase for the first time in months.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Jeongguk woke up feeling warm in the comfort of Taehyung’s arms. He blinked, stretching out like a cat in the soft sheets while a happy yawn melted into a dumb smile on his face. He propped himself on an elbow, watching how Taehyung shifted with a frown, the arm that was previously thrown over his waist twitching, its hand palping the mattress in search for him.
Jeongguk grinned, endeared, and burrowed closer again.
“G’monin”, mumbled Taehyung.
The younger squealed into his chest and wedged a leg between Taehyung’s.
“Hi, hyung”, he said in a tiny voice.
“Feeling shy, angel?”, Taehyung said, the smile palpable even in his morning voice.
Jeongguk nodded against Taehyung’s skin, and then he realized that he was clean. He let his hands wander on his own body, finding it soft and unstained.
“Did you clean us up last night?”, he asked with a tilt of his head, propping himself on an elbow again while he looked curiously at Taehyung.
“I did”, Taehyung said with a cute little yawn which made Jeongguk want to cuddle him and blow him at the same time. Wouldn’t that be the best morning plan?
“Thank you”, he whispered.
Taehyung let his blurry vision adjust, taking in the gorgeous man with blushing cheeks that looked at him demurely. He should've known that Jeongguk would be a vision, even early in the morning.
“I only used some water, so it’ll be nice if we take a shower before going to the buffet”, he said, splaying a hand on Jeongguk’s chest to appreciate the contrast between his brown, darker skin and the younger’s.
Jeongguk shivered at the contact and agreed, although he felt equally eager to start their day as reluctant to leave this bed, and the arms of the man in it.
“One last cuddle though?”, he muttered under his breath, shyly looking away.
“Okay”, the eldest breathed. After a moment of sleepy hesitation, he lifted an arm up and patted his chest, “come here?”
Jeongguk didn’t need to be told twice to press his face to Taehyung’s chest.
Chapter Text
Jeongguk felt overcharged with a bubbly energy that kept him squirming and fidgeting excitedly through breakfast. He would be visiting three places today, so he tried to get rid of some of his active cheerfulness in the car, singing his lungs out to Taehyung’s delight.
Underneath the lively bouncing of his heart inside his ribcage, a quiet but still perseverent buzz wouldn’t stop nagging at him: You’re too much , it said; you’re going to scare him away .
They arrived at the first location they’d be looking up. Jeongguk was eating Taehyung up with his eyes while waiting in line for their coffee, on the other side of the hotel foyer. He looked away, trying to hide his ogling, when the hyung turned away from the reception desk and strutted with confidence into the cafeteria space.
Taehyung’s face lit up with a rectangular smile once he spotted Jeongguk; it made the younger’s heart race.
“I’m so, so whipped”, he mumbled to himself.
“They say to go to the desk when we’re ready”, the hyung commented with a contemplative expression when he was close enough to be heard.
“Okay”.
Taehyung’s tiger eyes were making him flustered, as their intensity usually did.
“Whatー”.
“Can I kiss you? Here in public, I mean?”, Taehyung asked, his serious face rendering Jeongguk speechless for a second.
The younger felt his heart beat between his ears, and he unconsciously shifted his glance around the room. They were alone except for another customer and the barista, but he found that he wouldn’t mind it even if the place was crowded with people.
“Yes”, he whispered.
Taehyung took a tentative step closer to him, cradling his face with one of his hands.
“Hey”, he whispered, his breath fanning over Jeongguk’s lips.
It made the younger look up at him, his wide eyes reflecting Taehyung’s desire in them.
“Tae”.
The hyung tilted his head to the side and slotted their lips together. They were dry and a bit chapped from the cold and all the previous kissing from the night before, but neither minded. Jeongguk felt heat uncoil in his gut when Taehyung’s stubble rasped lightly on his chin. He felt his body yielding to the hyung’s warmth, his head leaning into the other’s hand with a sigh.
It lasted less than a minute, and when they parted Taehyung reached to clutch Jeongguk’s coat to ground himself and catch his breath, his legs in danger of buckling.
“I’m kind of regretting it now”, Taehyung whispered back with shining eyes.
Jeongguk chuckled, his tongue darting over his lips to feel the hyung’s taste in them.
“Your idea”, he shrugged.
Taehyung nodded, shifting his weight from side to side.
“Why don’t we go back to the hotel?”, he purred after a moment of hesitation, hauling Jeongguk closer in a way that had the younger gasping for air.
“Taehyungー”.
The barista interrupted whatever he was about to say by placing the cups on the counter.
“Here’s your coffee, sir”.
“Thank you!”, Jeongguk quaked, clumsily scrambling to grab the two cups while his body shivered with residual heat from Taehyung’s advances.
“Babyー”.
“No, hyung”, Jeongguk turned around with a furious blush, pushing Taehyung away from him by shoving the paper cup of coffee against his chest, “we’re already here and it looks promising, let’s go”.
Taehyung pouted and followed him sulkily towards the reception desk.
The place was a luxury resort with its own hotel rooms and community spaces for the purpose of celebrating events. As the staff showed them around, Jeongguk felt a weight was lifting off his shoulders, more and more convinced the complex would be the right fit for the Min-Park wedding.
After the tour was over, and it was confirmed that the dates were available with all facilities and spaces exclusively available to the wedding party, Jeongguk asked for some space where they could discuss between themselves how to proceed.
“We’re so lucky”, Taehyung said from an armchair, while Jeongguk let himself fall with a contented sigh in the one in front of him.
A sleek looking fireplace lined up the wall next to them, while windows on each side of it showed the blizzard going on outside, which only made the suite feel snugglier.
“Yeah”, the younger said, the flames capturing his attention for a while, “although I feel sorry for the people that canceled their wedding at the last minute. Christmas definitively sucks”.
Taehyung snorted, bending to pat Jeongguk’s knee with an endeared smile on his face.
“It doesn’t have to”, he offered before laying his back against the cushions again.
Jeongguk just shrugged as an answer, his stare still locked in the fireplace.
“Do you really think this is it, then?”, Taehyung resumed the conversation, his eyes getting lost in the dancing flames too, “‘cause I don’t know. I guess I would love to stay here for some winter holidays, although the hotel we’re staying in has a special place in my heart now”.
Jeongguk looked at him then, and Taehyung was surprised by the serene expression on his face, expecting him to get flustered and shy instead. Wordlessly, the raven-haired man stood up with slow but calculated movements, and the world seemed to stop for the hyung when Jeongguk lifted a leg and then another to straddle his lap. Tilting his head to the side, Jeongguk smirked, satisfied at the brunette’s shaken composure, and cupped his cheeks with his hands, bending down to press a firm kiss against his lips.
Taehyung’s hands reached for his narrow waist, pressing their hips together with a groan.
“Hush, hyung”, Jeongguk whispered with half-lidded eyes, “control yourself”.
“I can’t”, Taehyung rasped into his mouth with a shuddering breath.
“Alright”.
When Jeongguk stood up, Taehyung leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his legs.
“Wait, where are you going?”.
Jeongguk giggled, although the sensation of Taehyung’s hands gripping his thighs made him feel hot all over.
“Back to my seat”, he said, patting Taehyung on the head.
“You’re mean”, Taehyung protested, biting his lips and looking up at him with hungry eyes.
“Yeah, well”, Jeongguk replied, stepping away to sit back on his comfy chair while Taehyung let his arms fall at his sides with an irritated hiss, “can’t have the staff and guests hearing you, can I?”
“It’s not like we’re staying here”, Taehyung reasoned in a petulant tone, earning an incredulous snort from the younger.
“It’s not like I’d allow anyone else to hear the sounds you make”, Jeongguk countered.
Taehyung’s eyes widened while Jeongguk tried to remain stoic, although he wanted the ground to open up from under him and swallow him whole. The words had fallen out before he had time to stop himself.
“I m-mean”, he stammered, raking a hand through his hair, “not when you’re with me. Like, while weーhuh. I don’t like public sex, okay?”, he ended up snapping at Taehyung while the latter bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.
“Babe, it’s okay”, he said, whipping out imaginary dust from his trousers to take some pressure off Jeongguk, “everyone has things they don’t like, no shame in that”.
The younger rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Okay”, Jeongguk stated under his breath, extremely embarrassed ーashamed, even.
How could he say something like that out loud? They hadn’t talked about exclusivity. Hell, they hadn’t talked about anything at all, yet.
“So, as I was saying”, Taehyung said after clearing his throat, “this place is nice and the logistics and stuff are good enough, but I don’t know if it’s like wedding-y enough, you know?”
Jeongguk inhaled and exhaled deeply, thankful for the way Taehyung always saved him from the social situation-holes he dug for himself, bringing the conversation to safer territory.
Although he hadn’t acknowledged it yet, Jeongguk knew deep down that Taehyung held a secure space for his emotions in his jokes, as well as his silences and topic-changes, and he cherished it. He cherished Taehyung.
“I guess it’s not easy to see it now, but once we are done with it, the place will be as wedding-y as it gets”, Jeongguk replied, his leg starting to bounce without him realizing it, “Trust me. I’m used to projecting, like, a wedding vision onto places, it’s my job”.
“I’m not doubting you or your artistic vision at all”, Taehyung assured him, “it’s just that as an artist I usually have a knack for visualizing things too and, this place, I don’t know. Isn’t it too family-oriented? Like, will it be a good enough background for the lavish and campy wedding Jimin wants?”.
“Yeah, I think we can make it work”, Jeongguk nodded, sure of his decision.
He felt safe enough around the elder to not feel insecure about his professional abilities, even when his plans were put into question. However, he stood up and gestured to Taehyung to do the same.
“Come, I’ll show you”.
The hyung followed him out of the room like he was in a trance, biting his lip.
The truth was that Taehyung’s reservations about the place were directly proportional to his desire to prevent their return to Seoul. If this resort turned out to be the wedding venue they were set out to find, they would have the time to pack their bags and drive to the city to arrive there at noon right on that same day . Their holiday would be cut short, and Taehyung didn’t want to let go of Jeongguk just yet.
“Look”, the man in question said some minutes later, his voice reverberating through one of the bigger spaces in the complex.
Jeongguk had taken him to a spacious oval room with a huge crystal dome for a ceiling, with a perimetral hall separated by regal columns all around it. The walls were naked and painted white and the floors were marble, so it was pretty cold there at that time. Taehyung shivered, looking around and rubbing his hands; thinking it was a beautiful place, indeed.
“The hall behind the columns is great for management”, said Jeongguk, “that aside, it’s a really special place for a ceremony. The dome? Come on”, he gestured up with an unabashed grin.
“I don’t know”, Taehyung mumbled, stepping closer to where Jeongguk stood in the middle of the room.
The event planner studied Taehyung: his body was in a defensive stance; a light frown on his eyebrows; a little purse of the lips; even his arms were crossed in front of his chest.
Jeongguk wasn’t used to Taehyung being moody, but he would not let that deter him; his eyes lighting up with the determination to get him to see the possibilities of the resort.
“Here, look”, he said, grabbing the hyung’s arm and dragging him across the huge room, until they had the arch between two columns on their back, “we’d have a little platform installed here, where Yoongi would be waiting with the officiant”.
Before Taehyung could reply, Jeongguk jogged away to the other side of the room.
“Jimin would come in from this door”, he said, signaling a little door that was hidden to the left of the main entrance, “then, the aisle would be here, with the guests lined up on the sides”, he said, making his way on this imaginary aisle and encompassing its trajectory with his arms, “we’d make the flower arrangements hang all over the ceiling, complementing the dome. There’d be all those obnoxious white flower and silver christmas decorations constructions on each column ーthe ones we went to check the other dayー, and we’d have to get some extra stuff for the interior side behind the columns, but we did account for last minute changes, so the florists won’t be surprised”.
The hyung looked at him with raw devotion in his eyes: he looked so beautiful right there in his element, talking about flower arrangements and stuff.
“Anyway, Jimin would shine like the star he is, crossing the room like this…”, Jeongguk added, following the husband-to-be's path towards the imaginary altar.
He talked while Taehyung watched him step closer, the hyung’s heart beating like a hammer inside his ribcage. Jeongguk realized the position he had put them in just as he reached the place where the podium would be, the unguarded smile fading from his face when Taehyung offered him a hand with a light bow.
“What would happen, then?”, Taehyung said as firmly as he could.
Jeongguk gulped, looking at the hand the hyung extended before placing his hand in it.
“Then”, he mumbled breathlessly, his eyes still locked on their hands, “Jimin would come up to the altar and they would get married”.
Taehyung pulled him closer, trying to emulate the wedding formation; only the officiant and the guests were missing.
“And then?”, he drawled, his velvety voice like a caress to Jeongguk’s ears.
“Then they would kiss”, Jeongguk said, gathering enough courage to give Taehyung a fierce stare.
The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. One moment they were looking at each other, holding hands, and the next Taehyung had his arms wrapped around Jeongguk’s tiny waist, and the latter was holding him tight with his arms around his neck.
Their mouths found their way to each other naturally. Their teeth grazed slightly, Taehyung’s tongue parting Jeongguk’s lips to be able to explore his mouth. The younger moaned, his head tilting back with the force of the kiss, and Taehyung took advantage of Jeongguk's pliant disposition, greedily ravishing his mouth with his tongue.
Jeongguk then nibbled on the hyung’s lower lip as they broke apart, pulling on it. Their breathing had accelerated with arousal and, finding in the other’s expression whatever they had been seeking, the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth quirked up softly while Taehyung inhaled deeply—just to meld their lips together again.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
“I can’t believe we’re going back already”, Taehyung whined.
Their bags were all packed and ready to go up in their respective rooms, and they were having a light lunch at their hotel before getting on the road.
“I’m sorry”, Jeongguk said with a sheepish smile, “there’s so much stuff to prepare now, so many changes to be done, and Jimin’s wedding it’s not the only project we have, hyung. I can’t let Hoseok hanging while Namjoon-hyung’s still at the hospital”.
“I know”, Taehyung sighed, defeated, “sorry”.
Seeing the sad way in which the hyung munched on his veggies, Jeongguk decided to be brave.
“We can come back, someday”, he said, puffing his chest out although his foot was jumping under the table, “next winter, maybe”.
Taehyung sat there perplexed, but only for a moment.
“Fuck, baby”, he said through gritted teeth, “come here”.
The hyung rose up and walked around the table to silence Jeongguk with a kiss. Several heads turned and some quiet whispers and chuckles reverberated goodnaturedly around the room.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk scolded him afterwards, with his face on fire and shining eyes, “sit down! Please, sit down. Oh my God”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
“Did you mean it?” Taehyung said from the passenger seat some hours later.
They were entering Seoul, stuck in end-of-the-day traffic, and an ominous sensation was settling in Taehyung’s gut: he really didn’t want to lose this new thing with Jeongguk, but he felt like the man was slipping through his fingers just like the snow, gradually melting away the farther they got from the country.
“What?”, the other said, tapping a rhythm on the steering wheel while he waited for a light to turn green.
“To go back there, next winter”, Taehyung murmured, biting his lips, “with me”.
Jeongguk side-eyed him briefly before he had to put the car in motion again.
“I did”, he said, his eyes checking on the hyung from time to time, “I really want to. Can we talk about this when I’m not driving, though?”.
“Sure, yeah”, Taehyung chuckled, self-consciously looking out the window, “sorry”.
“Nothing to be sorry about”, Jeongguk said with a frown.
Taehyung’s uneasiness was palpable in the air, so Jeongguk once again armed himself with courage and did what he had been wanting to do for the past two hours: he put his hand on Taehyung’s thigh and squeezed it before letting it rest there as casually as he could.
The hyung blinked, looking at him through his brown curls, and a knowing smile stretched his lips when he saw the traitorous blush covering the younger’s cheeks.
“You’re so cute”, he said under his breath, unclasping his seatbelt and bending over to kiss Jeongguk on the cheek.
“Hyung, I’m driving!”, Jeongguk huffed, shaking his head, “put your seatbelt back on right now”.
“Yes, sir”, Taehyung happily replied.
Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop a dumb grin from forming on his face.
“You’re a menace”, he said, glaring at him for a second.
“If I’m a menace you’re a life-threatening hazard”, Taehyung cheekily snapped back at him.
“Whatever”, Jeongguk said, the color of his cheeks traitorously deepening into a cherry red.
He was so whipped for Taehyung.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Once they arrived, Taehyung insisted on helping Jeongguk carry his bags to the apartment, although the latter kept on telling him that he could manage alone, if they would only get them to the elevator together.
On their way up, Jeongguk fidgeted with his sleeves, unsure of how to act. He was glad to be home, but at the same time, he felt anxiety creeping up his mind.
Parting with Taehyung shouldn’t feel as distressing as it did. However, he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. What would he say, anyway? Probably something embarrassing along the lines of «you’re not yet gone, but I miss you already»?
Since he didn’t want to appear too needy, he kept his mouth shut, and strangely enough, Taehyung did as well. Jeongguk didn’t know that the hyung had an inner turmoil of insecurity of his own.
Once they reached his door, Jeongguk put in the code, but as he was about to open his mouth to say something, anything, a joyful cry cut through the tension.
“Gukkie!”, Hoseok welcomed them, putting slippers on to help them carry the luggage inside, “and Taehyungie too! Hello, hello! Dinner will be done in five minutes!”
Jeongguk rubbed his hand over his face with an internal groan: he completely forgot that Hoseok had told him he’d be waiting for him when they’d arrive.
In the blink of an eye, the bags were inside and Hobi was back in the kitchen. Jeongguk turned on his feet when he realized Taehyung was again standing outside of the apartment, by the door.
“Stay for dinner?”, Jeongguk croaked, feeling a lump in his throat.
“I’d better go”, Taehyung softly replied.
Jeongguk froze, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to be pushy, and yet, he had to be honest.
“You know you can stay, right? I’d be happy if you stayed”.
Taehyung felt himself melt at Jeongguk’s puppy eyes and obvious disappointment.
“Come here”, he said with a wave of the hand.
Jeongguk put his slippers on and let Taehyung grab him by the hand and take him outside, so they would be hidden behind the wall if Hoseok came out from the kitchen. It was cold without the coat on, but it didn’t matter. The next thing he knew, the brunette grabbed him by the nape and pulled him into a desperate kiss that would melt an iceberg. Jeongguk could only reach out his hands, grabbing the hyung’s coat while a little sound escaped the back of his throat.
Taehyung broke the kiss with soft eyes and gentle pecks around Jeongguk’s parted lips. When the hyung took a step back, though, the raven haired wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight to hide his face in the crook of his neck.
“I don’t want you to leave”, he heard himself whining weakly.
“Baby”, Taehyung cooed, “let’s meet tomorrow. I’ll come by in your break time, if that’s okay?”.
“I guess”, Jeongguk mumbled against the coat.
“Taehyungie, are you staying too?”, Hoseok suddenly chimed in from inside.
“No, thank you!”, Taehyung yelled back, taking a step away from Jeongguk, who had no choice but to release him with a pout, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, bun?”
Jeongguk stole another rough kiss from him, pressing their chests together, trying to convey the feelings he couldn’t put into words with his warm lips.
“Okay”, he finally said, letting his weight fall against the doorframe, “see you tomorrow”.
Taehyung gave him a last peck and a boxy smile, and then he was on his way; the elevator’s doors closing in on him waving at Jeongguk. The younger returned the gesture with a sigh.
Afterwards, Jeongguk closed the door behind himself, a sudden happy grin overtaking his face: he was home and he’d see Taehyung tomorrow, and Hobi-hyung had a delicious home-cooked meal all spread on the table for him.
“Hyung”, he sighed, “thank you so much, you’re the best”.
“It’s nothing, Gukkie”, Hoseok said, setting two bowls of bibimbap on the table before he paused, “wait a minute”, he added, taking in Jeongguk’s expression, “what’s with that face?”
Jeongguk bit his lips to contain his smile but it was useless.
“Let’s just eat”, he replied, sitting down.
Hoseok observed him for a moment longer with a suspicious look on his face.
“What’s up, Gukkie?”, he inquired, sitting in front of him across the kitchen table.
“I think I haven’t been this happy in a while”, Jeongguk mused, bringing some bulgogi to his mouth.
Hoseok tilted his head, suddenly wide-eyed.
“Did you and Taehyung finally get it on?”, Jeongguk almost choked on his food while Hoseok bounced excitedly on his chair, “oh my god, you did! You totally did! And you’re glowing! I’m so happy for you, my friend!”.
Jeongguk felt heat creeping up his neck but he couldn’t help but to beam with his whole face; his eyes almost closing with glee while he showed all his teeth.
“We’re going with the flow”, he explained, reaching for another piece of meat, “just trying to keep a good communication and seeing where things take us”.
“That’s great”, Hoseok smiled, nodding, “I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t see it coming, though. Anybody at the office noticed that you’ve been happier since he came to Seoul, and he is… well, he’s so whipped for you”.
“You think so?”, Jeongguk muttered, distractedly bouncing his feet.
“Please, Guk”, Hoseok smirked, “who visits their friend at work almost everyday? Think of all the money he must’ve spent on that courting coffee”.
“Courting coffee?”, Jeongguk giggled.
“Jokes aside”, Hoseok said with a soft smile, “I’m really happy for you, and whatever comes from this, I’ll be right here for you, okay? I love you, Jeonggukie”.
Jeongguk’s heart melted a bit and his eyes glazed over with unshed tears.
“Thank you, hyung”, he whined, “I love you and I’m here for you, too”.
Hoseok messed up his hair playfully with a sweet smile.
“I know”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
“Excuse me”, Kang Taehyun murmured after knocking softly on the door. He knew his boss wasn’t to be disturbed before 10.
Jeongguk looked up curiously from some annoying spreadsheets.
“What is it?”.
“I tried to stop him but — ”, the secretary began to say.
“I thought the muffins would win you over, Kang-ssi”, Taehyung’s voice was heard from behind the secretary.
“It’s alright, Taehyun-ssi. The man is a force of nature”, Jeongguk chuckled, failing to conceal the whipped smile from his face.
“See?”, Taehyung said, smiling cheekily at the secretary while side-stepping him into the room. Then, he stopped, suddenly bashful, and raised a cup of coffee in Jeongguk’s direction. “Hi”.
Secretary Kang left silently, discreetly rolling his eyes as his boss seemed incapable of paying attention to anything that wasn’t the newcomer. Meanwhile, Jeongguk walked up to Taehyung with a smirk, accepting the coffee just to leave it on his desk. Then, he turned back around and surprised Taehyung by planting an openmouthed kiss on his lips, gathering the brown curls at his nape in a tight grip.
After the passionate kiss, in which Taehyung was coaxed into parting his lips and investing more of his breath that he had planned to do early in the morning, Jeongguk released him only to pinch his cheeks, which had turned a beautiful pink.
“Yah”, Taehyung mumbled in a daze, “you’re supposed to be the shy one, not me”.
Jeongguk giggled, taking a step away to grab his coffee again.
“You’re early”.
He sat on the couch and tapped his side, urging Taehyung to do the same.
“Yeah”, said Taehyung, shamelessly gluing himself to Jeongguk’s body, “something came up”.
Jeongguk raised his eyebrows in question while he sipped from his straw.
“You’re so fucking pretty — and handsome — and sexy”, Taehyung suddenly blubbered.
He just couldn’t help himself: Jeongguk looked so good, clad in an expensive black suit and tie, with his hair half up in a man bun.
The sudden compliments made the younger man look downwards, finally flustered.
“What’s come up?”, he asked, eager to switch topics.
“I have another exposition”, Jeongguk’s eyes widened on hearing that, so Taehyung rushed to add with a sheepish smile: “not exactly mine. It’s just that the Museum of Contemporary Art has a new block of modern art with many pieces, some of which are mine, and they commissioned me for another one to debut on opening night. To bring more people in, basically”.
“That’s so cool, babe!”, Jeongguk praised, “I mean —hyung”.
“Awww”, Taehyung chuckled, feeling more composed when Jeongguk was his usual shy self. “What happened to my confident rake?”.
“Shut up”, the younger pouted. “So, you came to tell me you’ll be busy?”.
Taehyung let his arm fall on Jeongguk’s shoulders and pressed him to his side, which had the other comfortably resting his head on his chest, as if they’d done this a thousand times.
“Yeah, well”, Taehyung mumbled, dropping a kiss to his dark hair. “I will be busier, that’s for sure, but you won’t get rid of me so easily, angel”.
“Okay”, Jeongguk said, blushing uncontrollably at the pet name.
Taehyung had only called him angel twice during their trip, but he hadn’t repeated it since. It made Jeongguk realize how much he liked being called that way.
He burrowed his face into Taehyung’s suit and tried to breath him in as discreetly as he could.
“When’s it due?”.
“The opening is next sunday, so, certainly before that”.
“What?”, Jeongguk exclaimed, pulling out from his snugly position in the hyung’s arms to look Taehyung in the eyes, “isn’t that too rushed? Is it possible to do something like that with such little time?”
“Sometimes”, Taehyung snorted. “There’s this piece I have been working on for the past month or so, and I think I’ll manage to end it by then”.
“Oh”, Jeongguk said, “can I see it? Thinking about it now, you’ve never shown me any art of yours. In fact, I haven’t even been to your place”, he added with a pensive frown.
“You’ll have to wait for opening night. And about my place, I don’t really have one”, Taehyung answered, “I’m staying at the Kore Hotel in Gangnam. I thought I had told you”.
Jeongguk shook his head, pursing his lips and avoiding Taehyung’s gaze.
“You didn’t, and I never asked either because… I thought maybe you were staying at Jimin’s”.
“Oh”, Taehyung said, trying to read Jeongguk, who was putting more distance between their bodies, “I’m not. Anyway, you can come by anytime. It’s just that it is not very special or cozy, you know? It’s a hotel room. I like your apartment better”.
Taehyung’s smile melted Jeongguk’s anguish a little bit, but not completely: he had realized that Jimin would surely be invited to that opening night too, and that it would be selfish of him to bail out just for this reason, or worse: to ask Taehyung not to invite his best friend, which was absolutely out of the question.
“What's the matter, baby?”, Taehyung asked, caressing some of the waves of hair that had escaped Jeongguk’s bun to delicately tug them behind his ear.
“I…”, I need to be honest—need to be honest—need to be honest , “I guess you’ll be inviting Jimin and Yoongi? To the opening night”.
Taehyung froze for a second at Jeongguk’s voice's shrilling quality. He had not thought about that.
“Yes, I’d like to”, he mused, his stomach tying in knots.
“I think you should”, Jeongguk announced, leaving a surprised Taehyung on the couch while he walked across the room.
He stopped by the glass paneled wall that showed Seoul’s morning rush in all its glory and looked down at the street.
“Okay”, Taehyung cautiously said, still in an unusual, strained voice.
“And I’d like to be there too”, Jeongguk inhaled deeply, “but I need to say that… I don’t know how…I will try to handle it well, but I feel like… I don’t know”. He ran a hand through his hair, messing with his hair-do while he tried to organize his thoughts into coherent sentences; frustrated at how difficult it was to tame his emotions when it came to the couple. “Maybe I won’t stay through it all and I don’t want you to be upset, or to change how you’d do things because of me”, he finally turned around, locking eyes with Taehyung, “I don’t want this to become an issue, but I don’t want to disregard my own feelings either”.
“Baby”, Taehyung gasped, getting up from the sofa and coming closer to wrap his arms around him, “I understand completely. I want you all to come and have a good time, but I know it’s not easy for you. I wish I could think of something…”
“You don’t have to think of anything”, Jeongguk countered, linking their hands together and taking a step back with a confident smile now on his face, “I knew you were Jimin’s best friend since the beginning, hyung. I’ll manage”.
The show of strength was for Taehyung’s benefit, but maybe there was some truth to it as well. Maybe he would be alright.
“Okay”, Taehyung replied with wonderment on his face, “god, you… You’re amazing”.
Jeongguk stared at Taehyung for a second before grabbing the hyung by the waist and pressing their lips together. It was more tongues and teeth than anything else, and when they parted for air, their chests were heaving with desire.
“I’m sorry”, Jeongguk mumbled.
“You don’t have to be sorry at all”, Taehyung said, sealing his mouth with a peck.
Jeongguk bit Taehyung's lower lip in retaliation.
“Fuck, could you fuck me on the desk, like, right now?”, Taehyung said with a horny whine.
“Excuse me”, Jeongguk’s secretary interrupted his pleading, followed by a: “Jesus fuck”, and the door closing with a loud «bam».
“What is it?”, Jeongguk asked, between horny and amused, impatiently mouthing at Taehyung’s neck while the other gave him more space by tilting his head back.
“Sorry to interrupt, sir”, the secretary mumbled through the closed door, “Bang Si Hyuk is here for the renovation of the sponsorship of—”.
“Fuck Bang Si Hyuk”, Jeongguk muttered under his breath, making Taehyung giggle, “Okay, I’ll be out in a second. Thank you, Taehyun-ssi”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Some hours later, Taehyung was painting in one of the rooms in his hotel suite, smiling dumbly and laughing to himself while thinking of Jeongguk attending a work meeting while trying to conceal a raging boner.
The younger man had convinced him to meet at his hotel, curious to see the suite the hyung was staying at a hotel which was very famous for its luxury and high-profile clients.
Because Taehyung was incapable of denying anything to him, he started to wash and store his tools earlier than he usually would. He was used to pulling all-nighters when inspiration struck, but for now he had to pause; Jeongguk’s arrival was imminent, and he was more important than anything else.
The sound of his phone was on, another uncharacteristic thing for him, but Jeongguk told him earlier that he would message him when he got there, so Taehyung had silenced all other notifications and put himself to work.
The phone chimed when he was doing some finishing touches to his «no-makeup» makeup look. Jogging happily to the door, he stopped to give himself a last once over in the hall mirror. He had changed his painting sweats and apron for some tight jeans and a fluffy green zipped sweater with a white shirt underneath. He had left the hairband he usually wore when he worked because it matched the green of the sweater, however, he regretted it now, but it was too late to change it.
He opened the door with an unabashed smile.
“Hello, baby!”, he cooed, wrapping Jeongguk in his arms.
“Hi”, Jeongguk said with a giggle, fondly hugging him back.
“How are you?”, Taehyung said when he finally stepped back to let the younger in.
“As fine as this morning”, Jeongguk chuckled, looking around with wide eyes, “you didn’t mention you have the penthouse”, he added, playfully smacking Taehyung’s shoulder, “I wasn’t aware this was a Sugar Daddy type of situation”.
Taehyung laughed and grabbed Jeongguk’s wrist, pulling him abruptly close; the younger gasping and his pupils dilating when their chests pressed together.
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be”, he voiced sultrily against his ear, biting the skin right under it and sending a shiver through Jeongguk’s body.
“Is that right, hyung?”, Jeongguk drawled in reply, determined to take charge today.
Taehyung nodded and pushed forward, diving in for a kiss that landed on the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth.
“Slower, hyung. I call the shots today”, Jeongguk announced, grabbing Taehyung by the hips in a searing grip.
“Fuck, okay”, the hyung panted into his mouth, “as I said, I’m all yours. Do whatever you want with me”.
Jeongguk kissed him, in part to shut him up. It was difficult to be in control of the situation when everything Taehyung did and said drove him feral.
“Show me your room”, he ordered.
Taehyung bit his bottom lip, his gut tightening into knots under Jeongguk’s commanding eyes. He received a playful slap on his ass when he turned around, making him jump with a whimper that had Jeongguk smirking.
They reached the bedroom, which was right across the living room. Jeongguk stepped in behind him and closed the door.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk smiled slowly, seductively, tugging Taehyung closer by the belt, “who would have thought? You are a much better boy than me in this position”.
“Brat”, Taehyung whispered, which earned him a gentle bite on the lips.
“Maybe you’re not”, Jeongguk chuckled, gliding down the hyung’s zipper to open his sweater in order to press his hands to his chest, pinching a nipple through the fabric of his shirt, “I noticed something our first time, hyungie, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it”.
“Hm?”, Taehyung tilted his head in question.
“Will you drop to your knees for me, hyungie?”, Jeongguk then asked with the sweetest voice.
Needless to say, Taehyung was on his knees in an instant, looking up at the younger with hungry eyes. The hyung eyed Jeongguk’s belt and the zipper under it and gulped, saliva pooling in his mouth.
“When you fucked me the other day”, Jeongguk began in a huskier voice, darkened by desire, “you came when you sucked on my fingers, hyung. Did you realize that?”.
He opened his belt buckle, unbuttoned his pants and pushed the zipper down as he talked, and Taehyung could only watch, fascinated, while his own dick throbbed inside his jeans.
“So I thought: Maybe Taehyungie-hyung has an oral fixation”, the younger continued, biting his lips, “what do you say, hyung? Do you?”.
“I don’t know”, Taehyung answered, his voice a shaky drawl.
“Let’s put it to the test, then, shall we?”, Jeongguk said, pulling down his pants and underwear and stepping out of them before discarding his socks too, “I can get a little… rough, but that's okay with you, right, hyungie?”
Taehyung nodded vehemently, making Jeongguk chuckle.
“If you want to stop at any moment, just tap my thigh”.
“Okay”, Taehyung replied breathlessly.
Jeongguk’s cock was already hard. It was undeniably pretty, with a pinkish brown tone on the foreskin and an extremely pink head. It looked delicious, making Taehyung’s mouth water more than any lollipop — or cock — he had ever sucked on had.
“Open your mouth for me like a good boy”, Jeongguk encouraged him with a sultry voice.
When the hyung obeyed, Jeongguk lined himself up with Taehyung’s parted lips and thrust gently inwards, not stopping until he reached the back of his mouth, the warmth enveloping his shaft making him hiss and close his eyes for a moment.
Meanwhile, Taehyung’s throat burned with the instrusion, the sensation of having Jeongguk’s cock fucking his mouth so deep spreading like a wildfire, the hairs on his skin pointing on end. When the younger pushed a little more and Taehyung saw the groves of his abs straining with the way he was holding back, he whimpered, pulling back to wrap his lips around the tip.
Jeongguk tutted and looked down at him with dark eyes, sending a bolt of electricity to the pit of Taehyung’s stomach.
"Is this the best you can do, hyung? Let's put your oral fixation to good use, yeah?"
Taehyung nodded dumbly with the head of the younger’s cock still in his mouth. Afterwards, Jeongguk spread some pre-cum that dripped from his tip on Taehyung’s lips, who made out with its bulbous head as best as he could until Jeongguk grabbed his jaw and forced it open to feed him his shaft again.
Taehyung moaned and his eyes rolled back when it hit the back of his throat this time, hollowing his cheeks to suck eagerly on it.
“So hungry for my cock”, Jeongguk breathlessly moaned, “do you want more, hyngie?”.
Taehyung nodded again as best as he could with Jeongguk’s member fully in his mouth. It would be the last time he could do that in a while, though, for the younger grabbed the hair at the nape of his head to keep him in place and started to slowly thrust in and out.
With the warm cock in his mouth Taehyung felt fuzzy and oddly at peace. The glide was slippery from his spit, the taste was heady and a bit salty, like skin usually is, and it smelled like Jeongguk and the argan lotion he liked to lather himself up with. Taehyung’s eyes teared up when Jeongguk started pressing insistently against his throat, fucking his cock deeper into him, although his movements were still gentle and slow.
As the meaty shaft in his mouth rendered his mind to mush, Taehyung felt his body melt, naturally making more space for the comforting weight of the velvety shaft, taking him in as deep as he could. Consequently, the fire in Jeongguk’s belly escalated into a full conflagration when he breached the hyung’s relaxed throat and Taehyung swallowed around him. The walls of his wet throat constricted around Jeongguk’s cock in a way that made him delirious. He couldn’t help but to buck his hips harder, making Taehyung gag.
“I bet you’d choke me so good with that monster dick of yours, hyung. Would you like that? Having me gag on your cock like you’re gagging on mine now?”, Jeongguk drawled, the rhythm of his hips picking up.
Taehyung whimpered with each thrust, the only thing preventing him from falling like a puddle of goo on the floor was Jeongguk’s grip on his hair. The way the man’s muscles bulged with each push into Taehyung’s throat had his cock steadily leaking inside his boxers; the implacable pace Jeongguk was fucking his face with making his toes curl and drool trickle down his chin.
“Fuck, Taehyung”, Jeongguk moaned, the angry veins in his hands and neck protruding from the tension of his incoming orgasm, “you look so good drooling on Daddy’s cock — hm — my cock”.
Taehyung moaned and tapped his thigh. The other stopped immediately, a hand coming to cup Taehyung’s face upwards.
“Are you okay?”, Jeongguk said with a concerned frown on his face, “I’m sorry if that turned you off. It just came out—”.
“I —”, Taehyung muttered, trying to recover his breath, his chest heaving from the effort, “I want Daddy to fuck me”.
Jeongguk bit his lip, his cock visibly throbbing in front of Taehyung’s face.
“I want Daddy to fuck me”, Taehyung said again from under his lashes, his face a mess of tears, drool and pre-cum, “please, Daddy. Fuck me raw, wanna feel you in my belly”.
“Fuck, fuck. Okay, baby”, Jeongguk said, using his thumb to tenderly swipe away some of the hyung’s drool.
“Not baby”, the other pouted, his eyes twinkling with a vulnerability Jeongguk had never seen in them.
It looked like Taehyung was deep into a headspace right now. Thankfully for Jeongguk, it wasn’t his first kinky ride—he wouldn’t have called himself Daddy while face-fucking his lover otherwise.
He bit his lips, determined to make it the best fuck Taehyung had ever had so that he would come out on the other side without any difficulties.
“What do you want me to call you then?”, Jeongguk said, reaching out to gather Taehyung in his arms, who yelped at being lifted from the floor.
“I—I want you to call me T-taehyung”, the hyung stammered, hiding his blushing face on Jeongguk’s sculpted chest, as if he said something obscene instead of his own name.
“Okay, Taehyung-ah”, Jeongguk held him tight.
The hyung shivered in his hold and Jeongguk smirked, satisfied by his reaction.
“Can Daddy undress you now?”, he asked with a tender voice, “I need to see my Taehyung naked as soon as possible, or I’m going to die”.
Taehyung giggled softly and obeyed pliantly when Jeongguk directed him to raise his arms and legs to undress him, leaving trails of kisses on the uncovered golden skin.
“You said I’m pretty and handsome and sexy this morning”, Jeongguk murmured, kissing his nose when he was done and they were both naked on the bed, “but you’re the prettiest, most handsome and sexiest man alive. You’re everything, Taehyung”.
The man in question hid his face behind his hands and Jeongguk felt his heart melt while his cock stood up in attention. He hadn’t anticipated Taehyung having this side to him in bed, and he was enjoying it a lot.
“I wanna be good for you”, Taehyung whined quietly, squirming on top of the sheets.
“You're such a good boy already”, Jeongguk replied, dropping kisses down the hyung’s sternum, “you’re perfect for me”, after a hesitant pause, he added, like a secret against the hyung’s skin: “we are perfect for each other”.
Taehyung sat up abruptly, locking his glassy eyes on the younger’s dark ones, and cupped Jeongguk’s face in his hands.
“Daddy, I need a kiss and I need you to fill me up. Please, Daddy”.
Jeongguk kissed him immediately, ravishing his mouth, and when they parted for air, Taehyung scooted back on the mattress and turned around, standing on all fours. Jeongguk’s restraint crumbled at the same time as Taehyung opened his ass cheeks for him, presenting a very swollen rim with a but-plug encased on it.
“I’ve been waiting all day”, Taehyung said, looking back at him with heavy-lidded eyes, “I was planning on asking Daddy to fuck me”.
“Ffffuck — ”, Jeongguk felt winded, like he had run a marathon, his hands twitching with the need to manhandle Taehyung on his back and fuck him like an animal, “can you take the plug out for Daddy, Taehyung-ah?”
He watched Taehyung struggle briefly until he managed to take the decent sized plug out of his ass, followed by globs of lube coating his thighs with its liquid shine.
Jeongguk had wanted to be careful, but seeing Taehyung presenting himself again, he couldn’t help but to haul him closer, grabbing his hips.
“Taehyung”, he asked — warned.
“Daddy, please”, came a little whine.
Jeongguk plunged his cock into his ass in one go and Taehyung let out a startled cry. He almost came at that moment, loving the way the younger manhandled him, making him feel small.
Waves of pleasure flowed through Taehyung each time Jeongguk’s hips came in contact with his ass, assaulting his body with bursts of sensation that had him trembling and calling out desperately.
“S-so f-full, Daddy”.
Jeongguk kept impaling him on his cock, brutally fucking him from behind and biting his shoulder.
“Taehyung, Taehyung-ah”, Jeongguk moaned, “I’m gonna fill you up so good, fuck you so full of my cum, ah, fuck. Touch yourself for Daddy, Taehyung”.
The hyung obeyed and not much later, the sensation of Jeongguk’s warm release being pumped into him threw Taehyung over the edge. He pressed his eyes closed and cried out when the bliss became unbearable, his cock throbbing while white spurts of cum came out of his dick.
After a while, the greedy buzz of his orgasm ebbed, and his body ceased to tremble with the echoes of it, finally floating in the calm current of the afterglow.
He let out a contented sigh:
“Hm, who’s the Sugar Daddy now…”.
Chapter Text
The days until Taehyung’s exhibition passed by quickly, the lovers spending most of their time tangled together in bed, learning and committing each other's bodies to memory, until they agreed to pause their rendez-vous or else Taehyung’s artwork wouldn’t be done in time.
Jeongguk was aware that —even if Taehyung swore otherwise—, the painter didn’t get much work done when he was around. There was also the fact that Taehyung didn’t want Jeongguk to see the painting until opening night, which was a logistical issue to add to that, so it was their joint decision to spend the four last days apart.
Time seemed to drag eternally, the hours spent by themselves passing impossibly slow, and Jeongguk caught himself daydreaming at work more often than not.
Since they came back from their little trip, Jeongguk had been spending most of his free time in Taehyung’s penthouse, so coming back to his empty flat two days in a row felt like a bucket of cold water. The fearful part of him couldn’t help but remind himself that, even if everything was going well with the hyung so far, he should be careful. However, he was in too deep already, and when Taehyung sent him cute selfies and good-morning messages, or when he video-called him every night before going to sleep, Jeongguk also thought that the hyung was worth the risk.
Unsurprisingly, Jeongguk’s mood improved considerably on Sunday morning; the day of the exhibition. The day prior, Hoseok had accompanied him to buy himself a new outfit: it was a bit risqué, which made him a little nervous, but he wanted Taehyung to not be able to take his eyes off of him, and he hoped that looking smoking hot —in Hoseok’s words— would help him achieve that.
Jeongguk was aware that the opening night was a work event for Taehyung more than anything else, so he told himself he didn’t want to distract Taehyung from networking. Jeongguk just wanted to make sure that the moment it ended he would have the hyung all over him, all to himself.
WIthout much success, he went to the gym early and tried to work the anxiety out. He was aware that Jimin and possibly Yoongi would be there too, which made everything more overwhelming: as if a social gathering of that caliber, in which his not-boyfriend was one of the main stars, wasn't nerve-wrecking enough.
He took a detour to get back home, trying to appreciate the Christmas lights in his neighborhood, or at least imagining how Taehyung would enjoy them.
The party was still many hours away, so he decided to check his work email from his home office—business matters always helped him to get out of his head. He had several RSVP guests notifications from the Min-Park wedding and so he sighed, scrolling down and rolling his eyes at the stragglers, when Taehyung’s name caught his eye.
“RSVP Kim Taehyung, Kim Seokjin (+1)”
The plus one’s name definitely caught his attention. Kim Seokjin? Taehyung’s siblings had invitations of their own, so he wasn’t one of them.
Jeongguk frowned, his foot starting to bounce at full speed under the desk. He reached for his phone and opened the gram app without thinking twice, searching for this person that Taehyung had failed to mention would be his plus one at the wedding.
His stomach clenched when he clicked on the first user, a verified one; the words «wwh model» glaring at him from the description box. He scrolled down on the handsome man’s feed and felt nauseous in seeing not one or two, but several pictures in which Taehyung appeared next to the handsome tall man who must be Kim Seokjin.
Jeongguk almost stopped breathing, clicking on a picture of them licking at the same ice-cream cone. The picture was cute, their expressions playful; their faces way too close together for Jeongguk’s peace of mind. Did they kiss after the picture was taken? Maybe before?
He let out a shaky breath, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes, and locked his phone. They looked so close, and yet, Taehyung had never mentioned him, not even once. It was just his luck , he thought while his lungs clenched with the onset of an anxiety attack. Maybe he was an ex, but why would Taehyung invite him to the wedding? Whatever the case, Jeongguk’s body trembled with his sobs while he cried, his hands rubbing his eyes in a futile attempt to make it stop; his daydreams vanishing into thin air and taking the warmth Taehyung had ignited in his core with them.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Namjoon greeted him as usual, although his dimples faded when he saw his friend’s forced smile, although he didn’t comment on it. Jeongguk appreciated that he was patient like that,
“I told you, there’s no need to visit so often”, the hyung was saying.
“I’ve only visited once a week, hyung”, Jeongguk murmured, standing by Namjoon’s bedside in the hospital room, “I don’t consider it all that often”.
“Well, between my family and you guys I’ve barely been able to read anything”, the hyung said, gesturing to the piles of books that took up the space of his night table and the floor by the bed.
“Maybe when you’re discharged we’ll worry less”, Jeongguk offered with a tired smile.
“Yeah, well”, Namjoon shrugged, “what’s up? Hoseok tells me there’s some gossip going around at the office”.
Jeongguk’s face fell and he shook his head.
“It’s happened to me again, hyung”, he choked out, feeling a lump on his throat.
“What do you mean?”, Namjoon cautiously asked. When the other remained silent, he added: “have you talked to Taehyung?”.
“No”, Jeongguk whispered, looking up at him with helplessness in his glazed over eyes, “Hoseok’s so quick, damn”.
“He is”, Namjoon chuckled, patting the space on the bed, next to him, “what’s wrong?”.
Jeongguk sat quietly with his hands together on his lap and his head hanging low.
“I think there might be someone else”, he said in a strained voice.
Namjoon held his palm up for the younger to hold. When Jeongguk did, he held him tight, trying to infuse strength into his young friend.
“Gukkie… talk to him and do it quickly”, the hyung advised. “There’s no use in just wondering and feeling like shit”.
“You’re right”, Jeongguk said between deep breaths. He trusted Namjoon’s wisdom and advice more than anyone’s.
Once he didn’t look on the verge of crying anymore, Namjoon smiled at him, patting his hand resolutely.
“Damn right I am. Come on, call him right now”.
“Right now?”, the younger squealed with wide eyes.
“Go on”, Namjoon said, patting his shoulder, “Call him, go find him and send me a message later, okay?”
Jeongguk sniffed one last time, standing from the bed and squaring his shoulders to put himself together.
“Okay, hyung. Thank you”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Taehyung was getting out of the shower when he heard his phone buzzing, the couch pillows amplifying its vibrating sound. A smile overtook his face when he saw the caller id.
“Jeonggukie”, he said, biting down on his smile.
“I’m outside, hyung”, Jeongguk said in a quiet tone that made Taehyung frown. “Can I come in?”
“Of course, wait a sec”.
Taehyung opened the door. Jeongguk’s lips formed a tight smile and he stepped in quietly, all his demeanor withdrawnーhis body language keeping Taehyung from hugging and kissing him like he usually would.
“What’s wrong, angel?”, the hyung muttered, his words laced with worry.
Jeongguk was looking downwards at the wide space between them.
“Who’s Kim Seokjin?”, he asked with a trembling voice when he couldn’t withstand the tension anymore.
“He’s my best friend from the states”, Taehyung answered instantly in his softest register, as if not to scare Jeongguk away, while coming closer to rest his hands on his shoulders, “he’s coming to the wedding, I can’t wait for you two to meet. He has never met Jimin either, so he’s all for «Team Jeongguk». I think you’ll love him”.
Jeongguk released a shaky breath, and with it, tears tumbled down his lashes too.
“You promise?”, he sobbed, his shoulders sagging with the way all the stress left his body with only a few words from Taehyung, “he’s not your ex who you’ve always been in love with?”.
Whom you’re going to leave me for? was left unsaid, but Taehyung’s heart broke into pieces because it was easy to understand what Jeongguk must have thought.
“No, Baby, no”, Taehyung cooed, wrapping his arms around the crying man and hugging him tightly to his chest while the latter gripped his waist as if his life depended on it.
“I’m sorry”, Jeongguk blubbered against his bathrobe.
“Don’t be”, Taehyung said against his skin. He took a step back, cupping Jeongguk’s face and looking into his big eyes, bright with tears, “I’m not in love with Kim Seokjin and I’ve never been. I… I had something prepared for later, in fact. So… even if you have a way of stealing confessions out of me, you’ll have to wait until we’re done with the party tonight. Can you do that, my prettiest baby angel bun?”
Jeongguk concealed an embarrassed blush, pressing his face to Taehyung’s neck.
“I feel like an idiot”, he mumbled, “I’ve been crying since this morning”.
“Baby”, Taehyung softly reprimanded, combing Jeongguk’s hair with his fingers, “I’m sorry for the hours you spent worrying over this. Next time something happens, call me directly, please?”
“Yeah”, Jeongguk said, feeling better after letting it all out in Taehyung’s arms, “I’ll call you right away”.
Taehyung pressed their foreheads together, love pooling in his tiger-eyes, and raised Jeongguk’s chin with two fingers to press his lips on the younger’s. The latter sighed, wrapping his arms around the hyung’s neck, and let his weight fall on the other. The kiss was gentle and tender, making Jeongguk tear up again from the overwhelming emotions that it stirred inside his chest.
“I…”, Jeongguk began, although he was hushed by Taehyung’s lips.
Jeongguk moaned in the back of his throat and let the hyung deepen the kiss. After a while, their chests were heaving and the raven-haired let his hand slowly trail down the bathrobe, slipping it into the front opening to feel Taehyung’s warm skin.
“Hyung”, he whispered when they parted for breath, “hyung, you’re so good to me. Wanna be good for you too”.
“Angel, you’re perfect”, Taehyung said in a husky tone, Jeongguk’s dilated pupils reflecting on his own, “and I don’t know if we have time, the museum…”
“It’ll be quick”, Jeongguk said, dropping to his knees and bringing down the loose belt of Taehyung’s bathrobe with him.
The hyung’s cock was chubbing up and Jeongguk gulped down all the saliva that gathered in his mouth at the sight of it.
“You don’t have to, Guk”, Taehyung said, although he was mesmerized, watching Jeongguk eyeing his cock with pure lust while a feverish blush covered his face.
“I wanna be good for hyung”, Jeongguk repeated, pressing his face onto the hyung's crotch.
After the anxiety he’d suffered all day, Jeongguk needed some relief; he needed to feel the power rush of making Taehyung cum; the satisfaction of being the one to please him.
Jeongguk inhaled his scent before he gently swallowed as much as he could of Taehyung’s member, saliva trickling down the corner of his lips with each inch that went into his mouth. The shaft was too big to fit into it, even if it wasn’t fully erect. He moaned at the sensation of the big cock reaching the back of his throat while he worked on the rest with his fist: Taehyung really had the biggest dick.
The hyung moaned lowly in his chest when Jeongguk started to bob his head up and down on the length of his cock that he could reach, the filthy squelching sounds from the action and the drool dripping past Jeongguk’s chin bringing him to full hardness in no time.
“I love how your pretty little mouth can’t take it all but you still try, baby”, Taehyung drawled huskily, combing back Jeongguk’s hair more forcefully this time, to expose the way his cheeks were sucked in while his eyes were blissfully closed, his eyebrows raising in the middle in a pleasurable expresion, “such an angelic face… who would think you like sucking cock this much, hm?”.
Jeongguk let the girthy shaft pop out of his mouth with an obscene sound.
“Only hyung’s”, he replied between pants, sticking his tongue out to lick fat stripes on the underside of Taehyung’s length with urgency, his eyes droopy with need, “wanna suck hyung’s cock only”.
Taehyung felt the steady crescendo of his orgasm while Jeongguk kept on stimulating the angry veins on his dick with his tongue, until he reached the tip and started to circle his tongue around the head, pressing it against the frenulum and into the slit.
The hyung instinctively reached out and grabbed harshly on his hair, making him moan.
“I want those pretty lips stretched around it, yeah?”, Taehyung rasped, “don’t tease, angel”.
Jeongguk complied, eyes rolling back while he stuffed his mouth full of cock as much as he could, making space for the tip in his throat. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to speak later that evening, but he didn’t care. All that he wanted at that point was Taehyung’s cum down his throat.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming”, the hyung warned quite early, barely holding back from fucking the younger man’s mouth, “fuck. Gonna swallow it all up, baby?”
Jeongguk moaned, eagerly moving his fist on the cock’s base at the rhythm of his mouth. His jaw hurt and his eyes were brimming with tears from the effort, but when he felt Taehyung’s taste in his mouth while the hyung called out his name, he could only press his other palm down on his own crotch, bucking his hips up a couple of times until he came in his underwear with a long whine.
Slowly, Jeongguk released Taehyung from his mouth after swallowing all of his load, and fell back on his haunches, letting himself tumble down gently to lay flat on the floor afterwards. Taehyung giggled, tugging at his hand to get him up.
“Come on baby”, the hyung said with an endeared grin on his face, “let’s shower”.
Jeongguk perked up at that, raising a brow.
“No more funny business though”, Taehyung added, dragging him to the bathroom, “although I have to say that worked wonders for my inauguration nerves: they’re gone. Are you okay, though?”.
“Yeah… I’m happy I could help with that, at least”, the younger pouted, “I’m still sorry about the drama”.
Taehyung cupped his face in his hands, giving him a firm kiss.
“None of that”, he admonished, “life is all about the drama and the party, babe… and I want all of it with you”.
“Hyung—”, Jeongguk’s eyes widened, his heart racing in his chest.
“What did I say?”, Taehyung hurried to interrupt him with a furious blush on his face, starting the shower and fidgeting around the shower stall, grabbing gel and shampoo bottles at random and shuffling them around the shelves, “we’ll talk later, okay? Let’s just shower for now”.
Then, he turned around and pecked Jeongguk on the cheek, smiling fondly at him. While helping him undress, Taehyung smirked when he discarded the soaked boxers and Jeongguk swatted him playfully on the arm with a shy smile and a blush.
Afterwards, Jeongguk inhaled deeply while staring at Taehyung stepping into the shower, appreciating every curve and sharp line on his body, and wrapped him in his arms from behind, kissing his neck while the hot water trickled down on them, getting the younger’s body to fully relax after such an intense day.
He couldn’t help but smile secretly into the hyung’s nape, who in turn intertwined their fingers and let his back fall against the younger’s chest with a contented sigh.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Some hours later, it was finally the opening night of the new exposition at the National Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art, for which some of Taehyung’s most renowned pieces would be exposed. Taehyung couldn’t wait to show his new piece to the world, although he was a little nervous about sharing it with Jeongguk.
After showering, more sweet reassurances and tender kisses were exchanged and Jeongguk left Taehyung to get ready. They would be going to the museum separately, mainly because the artist had to be there an hour before they opened to the public.
Taehyung invited Jeongguk to borrow one of his suits and join him, but the younger had refused: he wanted to look his best, especially after the hyung told him that he had prepared something for tonight.
Several minutes earlier than opening time, friends and family were already dropping by. Taehyung searched for his lover anxiously amidst the growing crowd, wondering what Jeongguk would think of his newest piece. However, the latter arrived a fashionable half hour late, making a grander entrance than he had anticipated. His nerves wouldn’t let him leave his flat until he popped a quarter of a valium pill in his mouth. The day had been too long already, with his meltdown and the comforting make up sex that followed it.
The raven-haired wore a one button suit jacket with nothing underneath, a provocative display of skin making him a sight worth noticing among the rest of the people in attendance. Taehyung, at least, didn't have eyes for anybody else. However, it seemed that he wasn't the only one interested in mapping with his hands what only the eyes could appraise, since Jeongguk was intercepted by several men and women on his way to him.
When the fifth stranger in a row stopped him to introduce themselves and strike a conversation Jeongguk wanted to scream, wondering if all the people in the arts were as extroverts as Taehyung and that’s why he couldn’t seem to shake them off. His polite smile was becoming more strained while a guy that introduced himself as Park Seojoon arrogantly told him that he was one of the featured artists and that he could buy him a drink to tell him everything about the exposition. The man didn’t even try to hide the way he was ogling him.
“Ah, Jeongguk-ah, I was looking for you”, Jimin suddenly appeared by his side, “if you’ll excuse us…”.
Jeongguk’s body seemed unable to feel anything other than relief while Jimin ushered him away.
“Thank you”, he said.
Jimin looked at him and vowed slightly.
“Don’t worry, I’m only taking you to Tae”, he mused.
“He told you to get me?”
“No”, Jimin said with a sheepish smile.
Jeongguk’s heart ached inside his chest because of course Jimin would notice that he needed saving amidst a crowded room.
“Wait, Jimin-ah”, Jeongguk said, tugging on his sleeve.
“Yeah?” Jimin turned around, hesitant.
“How are you?”
The hyung’s surprised face was comical, the very picture of disbelief.
“I-I-I’m okay”, Jimin stammered through his reply, “a little nervous about the wedding and stuff, but… yeah… And you?”
“I’m good”, Jeongguk answered, an unabashed grin taking over his features.
Jimin’s eyes glazed over and he bit his lips.
“I’m so glad to hear that”, he mumbled.
“What’s up, Chim? Why are you crying?”, Taehyung chimed in, suddenly appearing in the space between them. He let a hand rest on Jimin’s shoulder while he wrapped his other arm around Jeongguk’s waist, “Guk?”
“It’s nothing”, Jimin said with a tight-lipped smile.
“We’re okay”, Jeongguk added, looking at Taehyung and then at Jimin with a serene smile and a nod.
Jimin returned his smile with a shaky exhale and Taehyung swiped away a lone tear that trickled down his cheek.
“Happy tears”, Jimin murmured before excusing himself.
“I’m surprised”, Taehyung whispered into Jeongguk’s ear when the other was gone, “my crybaby didn’t cry”.
“Yah. I’ve cried enough for today”, Jeongguk replied, playfully bumping their shoulders.
“Ah, it’s true”, Taehyung mumbled, kissing his temple and pulling him closer to his body, “sorry, baby”.
“I forgive you”, Jeongguk whispered, turning his head so their lips were only an inch away from touching.
“Can I?”, Taehyung said, looking at his lips and back into his doe eyes.
Jeongguk kissed him as a reply. It was a short and sweet gesture, but searing all the same, leaving them tingling with need all across their bodies in the middle of the crammed museum hall.
“I have to go”, Taehyung said afterwards with another kiss on his temple, “to start the show”.
“Good luck”, Jeongguk smiled, feeling his heart ready to burst out of his chest with his love for this man. Before he could stop himself, he grabbed Taehyung by the lapels of his suit, drawing him closer, and whispered in his ear: “I love you”.
Then, he kissed his cheek and slithered through the crowd, leaving a very stunned artist behind. With a gaping mouth, Taehyung lay a hand on the side of his face, where he could still feel the warmth of the love confession, and swore to himself that Jeongguk would officially be his boyfriend before the night ended.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
Jeongguk downed two champagne flutes to drown his nerves. Considering Taehyung’s words earlier in the afternoon, the younger had suspected that the hyung planned to confess tonight. Even if that was not the case, Jeongguk had managed to share his feelings, so he felt proud of himself for that. It didn’t matter if the hyung wasn’t ready to say it back yet. Jeongguk felt it in Taehyung’s every smile; in his every touch; and in all the things he did; and that was enough for him.
He could only hope that Taehyung’s feelings for him came close enough to love so the hyung wouldn’t reject him.
And so, Jeongguk walked around the room, trying to find the best place to watch Taehyung’s speech. When the crowd started to flow to the far wall where the debuting artwork was covered in white fabric, he had already made his way to the front row, standing tall and proud in the first line of spectators. He raised his third flute to Taehyung with a smirk, who shook his head at him. The hyung’s cheeks were blushing and he was biting his lips to stop himself from smiling in that shy way that Jeongguk found incredibly adorable and sexy at the same time. It had Jeongguk fidgeting in place while he cleared his throat; trying not to think about the way Taehyung made that face and called him daddy in the bedroom.
The curator of the exposition gave a little speech and then it was Taehyung’s turn, who introduced himself and chatted up the crowd for a bit, before finally driving everybody’s attention to the artwork.
“An image is worth more than a thousand words”, he said.
The artist gestured at someone in the back, and then the white fabric that covered the painting swooshed in the air until it fell silently to the floor, displaying a big white square with the painted representation of pillowy snow with a bright orange tiger-lily sprouting proudly in the center of it.
The crowd erupted in whispers, commenting on the meaning of Taehyung’s painting, while Jeongguk’s eyes filled with tears. He didn’t know what it meant exactly, although he had an inkling. Why was the painting all covered in what he thought was snow except for that little flower… He searched for Taehyung’s eyes only to find him already looking his way with a solemn expression on his face.
“It’s called «Last» ' , Taehyung explained when the crowd settled down, his eyes never leaving Jeongguk, “I’ll be waiting for your interpretations of it. Thank you”.
Taehyung remained by the painting for a while and tried to work his way through conversations, however, he was overcome by his desire for Jeongguk, every little gesture of the young man, who was mingling and chating around too, igniting sparkles across his skin. He tried to focus on the people around him, on superficial conversations and networking, but it was no use. The scintillating urgency to have Jeongguk to himself wouldn't fizzle out no matter what he did.
The whispered love confession the younger had uttered against his ear had left him reeling, and now that the main event of the night was done and over with, he couldn't wait to show Jeongguk how he felt as well, how desperately in love with him he was.
He abandoned his place when it was polite to do so, making his way towards Jeongguk after excusing himself. Nevertheless, when he started to walk towards him, the younger one suddenly disappeared amidst the crowd. Taehyung let out a frustrated groan before he was intercepted by some family members that wanted to ask him about the meaning of the painting, so he indulged them for a while. It was always fun to listen to the theories people made up about his artwork.
Almost an hour later, he located Jeongguk near the bar, talking to a group of girls. Taehyung frowned and made his way there, although he was intercepted by the museum’s curator before he could reach them, and when he looked back, Jeongguk’s place was empty: the man had vanished again.
After this repeated itself a few times, Taehyung started to suspect that Jeongguk was avoiding him, although he didn’t understand why. After seeing the painting, he had to know, right? He had to know that Taehyung was in love with him.
The people started fizzling out close to midnight and Taehyung finally found Jeongguk standing alone in front of his painting.
“I don’t get it”, the raven-haired said when Taehyung came closer, his head tilted while he observed the artwork in concentration, “why «Last»? Flowers don’t last. Is it the last? The last flower?”.
Taehyung’s lips curved slightly.
“The last flower”, he mused, standing next to him to look at the painting as well, “or maybe it’s the beginning of spring; then it would be the last winter, wouldn’t it?”
“I don’t know”, Jeongguk looked up at him through his lashes, a shy blush painting the apples of his cheeks.
“You’re it for me”, Taehyung declared with an intense look that made Jeongguk’s knees wobble. He turned to face him, cupping his cheek with his hand, “You’ve changed my life, Jeon Jeongguk. Do you understand?”
“Spell it out for me?”, Jeongguk breathlessly demanded.
“I love you, angel…And I know for a fact that you’re the last man I’ll ever love”.
Jeongguk’s eyes brimmed with tears and he let Taehyung pull him into a deep kiss.
“Be mine?”, Taehyung whispered against his lips, between kisses.
“Yes”, Jeongguk replied, “I’ve always been yours”.
“I’m yours too, baby”.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
They had never undressed so urgently, tearing each other’s clothes apart. Jeongguk ripped Taehyung’s shirt open, too eager to have their skins melding into each other to waste another second. Thankfully, his own suit jacket only had one button, and so they lay on Jeongguk’s bed in no time, Taehyung caging the younger with his body and leaving possessive kisses all over his skin.
The feeling of Jeongguk’s cock against his groin quickly swept away Taehyung’s self-control. He felt his body overflowing with arousal, in the same way a river dam crumbles under a flood.
“If I don’t fuck you soon, I’m going to die”, he uttered.
He only had two fingers in Jeongguk; he needed to stretch him more or it was going to hurt.
“If you don’t put it in now I’m going to kill you”, Jeongguk moaned through gritted teeth, his threat falling short when he looked so fucked out and needy.
“Just a bit more”, the hyung said, sucking the younger’s nipple into his mouth to appease him as he inserted a third finger in his ass.
“Please, ngh, n-n-need hyungie’s cock deep inside of me”, Jeongguk hiccuped, squirming under him.
Taehyung gave in after that, losing the battle against his own willpower. He lined up the head of his cock with Jeongguk’s lubed up entrance.
“Are you sure?”, the hyung mumbled, feeling dizzy with the need to fuck into Jeongguk’s tight ass.
“You know I like it rough, please”, the younger man whined as an answer.
Consequently, Taehyung rammed his thick member into him, hauling Jeongguk up by putting his legs on his shoulders. His cock was robust and long, with angry veins that spoke of a potency Jeongguk had already borne in his gut. Taehyung would make sure that tonight would be no different: he would ruin Jeongguk for anybody else all the same.
When Taehyung’s hip bones collided with Jeonguk’s plush ass, the younger gasped for air reveling in the tightness of the fit and the way it felt to be split in two by his man.
His man .
He felt drunk with the way Taehyung looked at him: reverently, with heavy-lidded eyes; like he was the most precious thing in the world. He started to caress himself, pinching his nipples and letting his palms wander lower. Jeongguk felt the need to give his new boyfriend a show, reveling in the self-satisfaction of knowing that he was beautiful in Taehyung’s eyes.
“You’re so fucking pretty, Jeongguk, fuck”, Taehyung groaned, pushing his member into his tight heat while Jeongguk moaned, uncontrollably arching his back in ecstasy.
The younger smirked seductively, although it wasn’t easy to keep his composure when Taehyung kept grinding hard and deep into him. His hands caressed the grooves of his abs, skipped his cock and proceeded to cup his velvety balls instead. Taehyung groaned, pounding into him with intent, while Jeongguk squeezed his own ballsack delicately with another moan. The younger repeated the motion several times, lazily adding soft tugs on his cock while clasping his balls in his other hand, each time a little harder.
“Can’t believe you’re mine. My angel, who looks like a dream touching himself for me, ah, fuck”, Taehyung bit his lip, his brows furrowed in concentration while his hips kept working his cock into his lover’s heat, “is this ass all mine, Gukkie?”
“Y-y-yeah, h-hyung”, Jeongguk mewled, loving the way Taehyung’s fingers held onto him in a hard grip; it hurt so good, “ahー‘m yours”.
His orgasm loomed closer each time he closed his fist on his balls, so he had to exert all his restraint to slow down and keep himself from fucking his hand harder. Meanwhile, the hyung had to hold back from cumming when Jeongguk almost went cross-eyed at the pleasurable pain and the cock that kept on ramming against his prostate. The younger’s body was covered in sweat and his high pitched moans were driving Taehyung insane.
“Mine to fuck, mine to do as I please”, he drawled, mercilessly pounding into Jeongguk’s ass, “Fuck, look at your pretty cock. Is it mine too, love?”
“Ahhh, hyung, puh-lease”, the younger mewled.
Jeongguk finally let go of his cock, trying to stifle the tingling build-up. He wanted to elongate the thrill that accelerated his heartbeat each time Taehyung looked at him with hungry eyes, pulling him closer like he needed their skins to touch in order to breath; ramming his cock into him like he would break into pieces if he didn't get to fill Jeongguk with his seed.
Suddenly, Taehyung took one of Jeongguk’s legs and swung it over to his other shoulder, grabbing both of the younger’s ankles on the right side of his neck. He lowered himself to hover over his lover. The movement tested Jeongguk’s flexibility, who cried out his name when he felt the angle change. The pressure in his gut intensified with it; the new position having the gigantic cock pounding against his prostate with accurate precision.
“Hyungie, y-yeah, ngh”, his moans grew desperate; the way Taehyung folded him in half making feel weak and small bringing him to the edge, “like this, ngh, hyung, hyungie, ah, ah, ah–Taehyung”.
A rush of sweet fire burned through Jeongguk’s belly and up to the pit of his stomach, until his lungs were clenching with it. Little stars of sensation fluttered along his spine, sending tingles to the back of his head. He came with Taehyung’s name on his lips, making a mess of their stomachs.
“Fuck, Jeonggukie, baby”, Taehyung said between breaths. He let himself go as well, fucking his cum into Jeongguk with a guttural moan, “my love, I love you, angel”.
“Luh you too”, Jeongguk panted through his parted lips, his head thrown back in exhaustion and his eyes blissfully closed while his body was being shoved up the bed in time with the last hard thrusts, until Taehyung buried himself in him for the last time.
The hyung smiled dopily, watching his lover’s satisfied face, and kissed his forehead.
“I’m going to pull out”, he murmured.
“No!”, Jeongguk yelped, wrapping his legs around his lover’s hips.
“Hey, it’s okay”, Taehyung said, surprised at the outburst. He hovered over him to kiss his eyes, nose and lips, “don’t worry, baby, I won’t go anywhere until you’re ready”.
“Okay”, Jeongguk replied, hiding his face in Taehyung’s neck. “Sorry I just… I like it a lot…or maybe…I don’t like it at all when you just pull out so fast afterwards. I didn’t tell you before, but now that we’re together, you know…”.
““Jeongguk-ah! I wish you’d told me sooner”, Taehyung mumbled, resting his head in the crook of his lover’s neck, “I know it's not easy, but no more hiding things. I want to make you happy”.
“Okay…”, Jeongguk said, letting his fingers brush through Taehyung’s curls while his heart threatened to burst out of his chest for the thousandth time that day.
After a while, Taehyung felt the body underneath him relax, the hand in his hair stopping its tender motion. He cautiously rose up on his elbows, an endeared smile stretching his mouth at the view of Jeongguk’s adorable pouty lips, long lashes and closed lids.
“Sleep, angel”, he whispered, combing his fringe back while Jeongguk blinked at him. He sleepily burrowed against Taehyung after the latter covered them with the duvet, “hyung will take care of you”.
“I love you”, Jeongguk declared under his breath with a sleepy rasp to his voice.
Taehyung watched him fall asleep, wondering how he got so lucky. When he felt like watching longer would be creepy, he carefully pulled out and rose up to clean himself up. Afterwards, he cleaned Jeongguk up as well with a wet towel, meticulously and slowly so as not to disturb his sleep, although by now he knew that Jeongguk wasn’t easy to wake up once he fell into REM. After all, cleaning the sleeping man after sex was becoming his routine, and he loved it.
Once he got back to bed, Taehyung swallowed a delighted squeal when Jeongguk instinctively reached for him and glued himself to his chest even in his sleep. He smiled dreamily and gathered the younger man in his arms, feeling his weight on top of him and the warmth that emanated from his skin.
There was no other place he’d rather be.
Chapter Text
Jeongguk arrived at Namjoon’s apartment earlier than he expected on a snowy afternoon. The hyung had been discharged from the hospital the day before, so it wasn’t strange that more people would visit him. Hence, that’s how Jeongguk found himself in the same room as Min Yoongi for the first time in a year.
“I was already leaving”, Yoongi rushed to get up and gather his things, not making eye contact for even a single second.
Jeongguk looked at him with his big doe eyes wide open, unable to mutter a word. Before he had a chance to react, the door of the apartment was already closing after Yoongi.
Namjoon sighed with a fond smile at Jeongguk and jerked his head in the direction of the door.
“What are you doing?”, he said with a chuckle, “go”.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk mumbled, unsure.
“Go after him, c’mon”, Namjoon smiled reassuringly, “he’s dying to talk to you”.
Jeongguk felt tears in his eyes and rushed out. However, he ran back inside the next second to kiss Namjoon on the cheek.
“Love you, hyung”, he said with a sheepish grin.
Jeongguk ran down the stairs, instead of waiting for the elevator, and caught up to Yoongi in the hall, who was luckily waiting inside the building for his taxi to arrive.
“Hyung!”, he yelled, the sound echoing in the empty foyer.
Yoongi flinched and turned around to look at him with his practiced blank stare.
“Hyung”, Jeongguk repeated, trying to recover his breath, “wanna go grab something to eat?”
There was a pause dripping with insecurity for them both until Yoongi gave him one of his trade-mark fond smiles.
“Of course”.
After awkwardly pondering where to go, they decided to go to a barbecue place near Namjoon’s. It wasn’t anything special, but the food was good and the place wouldn’t be crowded, which, with Yoongi’s privacy on the line was all that mattered. There were Christmas decorations all around the restaurant; each table even had its own little dancing and singing googly-eyed Christmas tree toy. They sat down, and Jeongguk grabbed the wiggling toy and turned it off without a word.
“So”, Jeongguk inhaled through his nerves, gathering he should break the ice since he had been the one to invite Yoongi, “how are you, hyung?”.
“I’m doing fine”, Yoongi replied, nervously biting his lips, “I hear you’re doing well, too”.
Jeongguk couldn’t avoid the dreamy smile that took over his face, Taehyung’s image present in his mind.
“Yeah”.
“I’m really happy for you”, Yoongi said, looking down, and added in a rather quiet tone: “although I know I don’t deserve it”.
Jeongguk frowned and thanked the waiter that came just on time to bring them some meat and veggies.
“Don’t say that, hyung”, Jeongguk replied, starting to put the samgyeopsal onto the grill, “I already told Jimin everything is okay now”.
When Yoongi didn’t answer, Jeongguk gave him the first morsel of meat as a peace offering.
“I don’t know if it’s what you need to hear, but I forgive you, hyung”.
Yoongi finally looked up, his eyes red and glassy.
“Thank you”, he mumbled.
“Eat, it’s getting cold”, Jeongguk smiled fondly, pointing at his plate with the chopsticks.
After a while of eating in silence, Jeongguk gathered the strength to talk about what had been on his mind for many sleepless nights during the past months. It wasn’t vital that he knew this, but he wanted a clean slate with his hyungs, and to achieve that, he felt like he needed to at least ask the questions that still plague him to this day.
“There’s something I’d like to ask you, hyung”, he said while he focused his attention on the meat, “I wanted to hear your version of the story, as I didn’t get to last year”.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, why did you break up in the first place?”, Jeongguk frowned, daring to steal a look at the hyung again. “I guess I’ve never understood that. And why the fuck did you say it was fine for Jimin and I to start dating? It must have been really tough for you”, he said, doing a good job at keeping his voice as smooth as possible.
Yoongi blinked at him, all cat-like and pensative.
“We broke up for many reasons… Because I thought I should prioritize my work at the peak of my career, and Jimin wanted more attention than that”, he said while pouring soju into two shot glasses. “Because Jimin is super social, as you know, while I’m… not. The times we saw each other, I wanted to have more quality time at home and Jimin wanted more socializing as a couple”, he explained, giving Jeongguk a glass and downing his own in one go.
“You didn’t fall out of love at any point, then?”, Jeongguk inquired.
After a brief moment of consideration, Yoongi spoke again, his voice raspier than before:
“We knew we loved each other, but we were exhausted, with the same recurring problems and toxic dynamics happening on loop...So we decided to break up, not wanting to grow to resent each other”.
Jeongguk nodded and wet his lips with the soju while Yoongi was already helping himself to his second shot.
“And what about me, when I came into the picture? That must have sucked”.
“It didn’t hurt, if that’s what you’re asking”, Yoongi said. "You are as introverted as me, but you have more social endurance, and, let's be real, Jimin and I... we can be time-ticking bombs. Both of us. You, instead, are not like that: you are conciliatory and peaceful and so incredibly kind. It made sense that you could actually make each other happy”, he sighed.
“So you really accepted it? Even though you still loved him?”, Jeongguk breathed out.
“Yeah, I did”, the hyung replied while Jeongguk downed a shot like he just had, “I already had to go to the psychologist when we had broken up. I had started drinking a lot then, and Hoseok got really pissed and made the first appointment for me so I couldn't refuse... Anyway… Thanks to therapy, I was able to see that my views on work-life balance were kind of fucked, among other things, and to take it in stride. That you would be together, I mean”.
“What changed, then? Why did you get back together?”, Jeongguk asked.
He felt a bit of the familiar residual pain still in his chest, but it was nothing compared to a few months ago.
“We realized we still loved each other, and the rest is history”, Yoongi replied.
There was a tense moment of silence until the hyung spoke up again, forcing himself to lock eyes with Jeongguk.
“I’m so sorry, Jeongguk-ah. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to compensate you for the pain we put you through”.
“It’s okay, hyung”, Jeongguk told him with a sad smile, “I already told you that I forgive you. Let’s look forward, from now on, okay?”.
“Okay”, Yoongi smiled.
“Let’s cheer for that”, Jeongguk said, happily pouring more shots for them both while Yoongi looked at him, a gummy smile finally appearing on his face.
“Let’s also take a selca with this silly thing”, Yoongi added, pointing at the Christmas tree toy.
“Right”, Jeongguk laughed whole-heartedly, “Jimin-ah and Tae-yah will love this”.
After taking the picture and sending it, Jeongguk started eating again, carefully selecting and grilling the meal like it was his job, while Yoongi’s phone pinged.
Without thinking, the hyung checked his phone. The message was from their group chat, which had been abandoned since last year. However, a new bubble now read “ Taehyung was added to the group ”, before the selca they had just taken.
The hyung’s eyes clouded with tears.
“Jeongguk-ah, you know hyung loves you, yeah?”, he said with a shaky breath, unable to look at his friend.
“Oh, hyung”, Jeongguk said, trying to keep from crying and failing monumentally, his voice breaking with it, “hyung I love you too…I-I missed you so m-much”.
Both men stood up and met in a tight and warm hug right there, in the middle of the empty restaurant while the blizzard kept going on outside. Their phones started to ping unstoppably, the group chat in danger of catching fire.
Jeongguk sat back down and unlocked his phone to find a picture of Taehyung and Jimin snuggling in what he realized was the couch in his boyfriend’s apartment.
“Look”, He said, handing Yoongi the phone with a fond smile.
The hyungs gaze was full of love when he looked at the picture.
“Let’s pay them a visit?”, Jeongguk said.
The hyung snapped his head to look up at him, an unsure look on his face.
“Isn’t it too soon for a double date?”, he asked.
“I don’t know”, Jeongguk replied, amused, “isn’t your wedding a kind of big date that’s happening next week too?”
“Yeah”, Yoongi nodded, sheepish. “You’re right, let’s go bother the little demons”.
“I couldn’t have expressed it better myself, hyung”, Jeongguk answered with a laugh.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
~Christmas day from a year ago
Yoongi was treading carefully through the frozen pavement. He had parked too far away from Namjoon's apartment for his taste; he definitely should have taken a taxi instead of driving himself.
There seemed to be nobody around, which made sense because the blizzard could pick up again at any moment. He realized the snow crunched under his boots deliciously and he thought of recording the sound it made to add it to a song.
He took his phone out of his pocket and pressed record before starting to step on the snow, pressing his foot in various ways, to draw different sounds. Slowly, he made his way to Namjoon's, too absorbed in his task to notice he would be incredibly late.
Suddenly, a sniffing sound made him jerk his head up in surprise, finding Jimin crying alone right outside the building. He was bundled up in an all white puffy outfit, with his pink hair covered by a cream colored beanie.
"Oh", Yoongi said, pressing the stop button and pocketing his phone, "hi".
Jimin pouted to contain his sobs, but he couldn't stop the tears that fell from his eyes.
"Hiiiii...." he wailed, erupting into full out cries.
Yoongi didn't know why Jimin was out there crying alone in the snow, so he did the only thing he could do. He took tentative steps towards him and wrapped his ex-boyfriend in his arms. Jimin trembled and pressed against him pouring his eyes out.
"Jimin-ah", Yoongi said with his soothing voice, although his heart was breaking inside, "Jimin-ha, what's wrong? Did you fight with Jeongguk?"
Jimin stumbled backwards, shaking his head. He also mumbled an incoherent reply Yoongi couldn't understand.
"What?"
"Everything is perfect with Jeongguk", the pink-haired boy wailed louder.
"Okay", Yoongi blinked, unsure of what to do, "what's wrong, then?"
Jimin scoffed, sniffing and drying his tears with his gloved hands.
"What's wrong you ask", he said, shaking his head while his face crumpled in a painful expression, "ah, hyung", he exhaled while tears gathered at the corners of his eyes again, "everything is perfect with Jeongguk, but I was down here gathering the strength to go up and face you. To be lovey-dovey with my new boyfriend in front of my ex knowing that you don’t give a fuck".
Yoongi staggered back as if the words had slapped him in the face, while Jimin bit his lower lip, his eyes drowning in sorrow.
"I was trying to hype myself up, thinking you’d be inside already… but then you come here, fucking recording your steps on the snow...", he sobbed, "your fucking steps hyung, and you look so... you , and so cute, and so fucking lovable , and I realized just now that I never stopped loving you, and now there's Jeongguk upstairs, and everything is perfect with him, and we... We were a mess. So why does my heart bleed everytime I see you? Why do I feel that I'm yours and that I always will be deep in my fucking bones? What can I do, now...? What will I say to... to Jeongguk?"
Yoongi's heart went into overdrive. There was no avoiding the mess they had created, not if Jimin was telling the truth.
"Are you sure?", the hyung asked.
Jimin blinked some tears away, looking up at him.
"I fucked up big time, hyung", he mumbled with a self-deprecating smile.
"I asked you a question".
Jimin frowned and took a step back.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Don't look at me like that, though".
Yoongi took a step closer this time.
"Like what?"
"Like you want me too", Jimin whispered, his warm breath coming out like a cloud against the chilly air, "like you're going to kiss me. Don't give me false hope, please".
"But I do, I love you, Jimin-ah. I never stopped either", Yoongi said, breaking eye-contact for a second because the tension was too much.
When he looked at Jimin again, a new wave of tears were gliding down his red cheeks. Yoongi was sure they were so cold, he came close enough and dried the tears away, cupping Jimin's face in his hands.
"Now I can't even be happy about that 'cause I fucked up big time", Jimin wailed, "I swear I thought I... I like Jeongguk. I do. Just", he closed his eyes, pressing his face to Yoongi's palm, "I love you... you... you're the only man I've ever loved. I thought I would grow to love Gukkie, but how can I when I know there's you?"
Yoongi kissed him, a tear escaping from the corner of his eyes as well. After a few deep kisses, he let his forehead rest on Jimin's.
"What do we do now?", Jimin whispered.
"We go upstairs and face the music, Min-ah", Yoongi replied, "and then we can only hope that someday he'll be able to forgive us".
"I don't want to hurt him. Fuck, hyung", Jimim cried, hiding his face into Yoongi's neck, "I didn't mean for this to happen. How can I be so stupid?"
"It's okay, love", Yoongo soothed him, "both you and Jeongguk have always had a spark you weren't able to explore. It's natural that you were drawn to him now. And about us... I guess our timings are fucked up. What can I say”, he hesitated for a moment, feeling a lump in his throat, “If you want to try it with him, I...".
"Shut up", Jimin sobbed, stealing another kiss, "I'm not letting you go ever again, Min Yoongi. You're the love of my life. I just pray we don't hurt him too much".
"Yeah", Yoongi mumbled against his lips, "I hope so too".
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
~Back to the present
The weekend before Jimin and Yoongi’s wedding found Taehyung and Jeongguk tangled up in bed, as usual. Taehyung was reading with Jeongguk on his lap, the hyung’s chest was pressed against the other’s back, wrapping an arm around his middle while raising the ebook to his face with the other hand.
“I thought you said you had started that piece some weeks ago”, Jeongguk said, observing a picture of Taehyung’s artwork on his phone, “but you hadn’t seen my tattoo before our trip”.
“Yeah”, Taehyung replied absentmindedly.
“Yeah?”, Jeongguk said, lightly biting his neck.
Taehyung gasped, biting down a smile, and turned the device off.
“There’s another piece I started a while ago and at first I thought I should go with that one…”, the brunette casted the ebook aside, coming to wrap both of his arms around his boyfriend, “but then, I decided I didn’t want to share it with the world at all, and I also had started this the night we came back to Seoul, which is lovely, and a statement in itself. I thought it would make a good declaration of intentions”.
“It did… Although is this why you left that night, instead of staying with me?”, Jeongguk pouted playfully, nipping at Taehyung's neck.
“I also felt like we should take things slow. But then, I missed you so much that I ended up staying all night thinking about you and painting about it”.
Jeongguk covered the hands on his tummy with his own.
“We’re not really going slow, are we?”
“No we’re not”, Taehyung drawled in his ear, “and I love it. I love you”.
Unable to contain himself, Jeongguk turned around and straddled him, planting a hot kiss on his lips.
“I love you too”, he breathed, “will you show me the other painting? Or am I not allowed to see it either?”
“You are very much allowed: it’s about you too”, Taehyung smirked.
“About me?”
“Yeah”.
A confused frown made its way onto Jeongguk’s face.
“But you said you started it weeks before… before our trip?”
“I did”, Taehyung said before capturing the raven-haired’s mouth with his, “I call it «Greed», because I’m never letting anybody else see it”.
“Only me?”
“You have rights over it, love”.
Taehyung’s half-lidded eyes and tone were doing something to Jeongguk’s gut, but then again, when did they not?
“I do?”
“Yeah. I think you might kill me for this one though”.
“Show me, then”, the younger said with a last peck to his boyfriend’s lips.
“Now?”
“Yeah, come on”, Jeongguk insisted, rising from the bed and grabbing Taehyung’s wrist to pull him out from under the covers.
They were in Taehyung’s penthouse that night, so Jeongguk didn’t waste time, walking into the hyung’s studio with sure steps. He had been banned from the room before, when Taehyung wanted to keep his last piece a secret, but now he could finally enter it. The wall on the right side was made of glass from top to bottom, like the one in the living room, and it was less crowded with easels, canvas and painting materials than he would have expected.
Taehyung opened the lights on the lowest setting and approached a big frame that faced the far wall, stopping briefly besides Jeongguk to kiss his cheek.
Once the canvas was put on display onto an easel, Jeongguk blushed, covering his burning cheeks with his hands. It was a painting of his naked torso, his back arching from the bed with the rest of his face out of the frame, only his parted lips visible. He inspected the painting, noticing his sculpted chest, his tattoos and his erected cock; the image cutting at his thighs. The sheets he lay on were an orange red and the image was absolutely pornographic.
“Greed”, Jeongguk let out with a shaky breath.
He was stunned at the way Taehyung had depicted him, so sexy and powerful, even in such a vulnerable position. Meanwhile, the artist walked back, looking at it too as if it was the first time.
“I would have asked you first if I wanted to make it public, but I honestly don’t know how it even crossed my mind that I would share this view. Hence its name”.
Jeongguk felt saliva pooling in his mouth, his heart stuttering in his chest at the notion that Taehyung had wanted him like this since the beginning.
“You painted this weeks ago?”
“I started it more than a month ago, love”, Taehyung confessed, coming closer to Jeongguk to press his growing hardness against his ass, “I had to change it a lot after our first time, though. The first sketches of you didn’t do you justice. They didn’t have tattoos either, nor were they as ripped as you are”.
The artist licked and bit his ear, making Jeongguk moan.
"It's... beautiful," Jeongguk finally settled on saying.
“You think so? I don’t know…”, Taehyung purred, mapping his neck with open-mouthed kisses. "Maybe I need you to model for me some more. I’m sure I can make it even better”.
A shiver ran down Jeongguk’s spine. The hyung’s fat erection fit perfectly against his cleft and made his fingers itch with the need to touch.
“I’ll think about it”, he murmured as teasingly as he could, pushing his perky ass against Taehyung, who groaned in response, “although maybe I don’t want you to perfect it. Maybe it would be better to draw something different, you know? From another perspective”.
As soon as he finished talking, Taehyung pinned his wrists to his back and walked him forward, until he was pressed against the window. Jeongguk whimpered at the action, feeling the contrast between the cold glass against his front and the warmth of the body caging him in from behind. Then, he felt Taehyung sliding his sweats off until they rested under his ass-cheeks, exposing his bottom to the cold air.
Jeongguk’s heart was about to beat out of his chest, his cock quickly filling up to full hardness because Taehyung had never manhandled him this way.
“Is this perspective alright?”, Taehyung drawled in his ear.
Before Jeongguk could answer, he felt the big cock penetrating him without any preparation. He wailed in pleasure and shock. The slide was wet enough because Taehyung had fucked him already earlier in the evening, but still tighter than usual because of the sudden intrusion.
“Ahhhーso big, ngh”, he whimpered when Taehyung bottomed out, the sound of their hips colliding reverberating in the room, “feel you so deep, hyung, b-but what if someone, ngh, what if someone sees…?”.
“Then they’d see how pretty you get with hyung’s cock deep in your ass, baby”.
Jeongguk’s eyes rolled back at the answer, and he unconsciously arched his back more, his forearms sliding down the glass with the motion. Taehyung kept one hand on Jeongguk’s hip, drawing him closer with each deep thrust, while the other wrapped around his neck in a firm grip that had the younger’s stomach tightening with need.
“Ah, ah, yeah”, Jeongguk moaned, all thoughts about the people far down in the street that could potentially see them adding fuel to his lust, “h-hyung pleaseーah, please chuh-choke me”.
Taehyung angled his hips upwards to pummel against Jeongguk’s prostate and skillfully pressed his fingers on his lover’s neck in a way that wouldn’t hurt him but would prevent oxygen from reaching his brain. Jeongguk could only whine, his pliant body vibrating with the rhythm of Taehyung’s shaft ramming into him. He loved the feeling of helplessness and dizziness that came with not being able to do anything else but drool and take it.
“You like it, baby?”, the hyung rasped in his ear, letting his hands slide until they found their place on the younger’s dainty waist. "Now every time I work here, I’ll have this image of you, raising your ass for me like a bitch in heat, all wet and moaning for my cock”.
“Ah, nghh, yeah“, Jeongguk whined, feeling his orgasm approaching like a wave about to crash, “want my belly all fat with your cum, p-please, hyungie, pleaseーah, fuck, fuck, fuck…!”.
Jeongguk’s words tipped Taehyung over the edge. The hyung pumped him full of his load just like he’d asked, and the sensation of the warm cum trickling down his thighs had Jeongguk trembling and releasing all over himself as well, untouched.
“That’s right, baby, give them a show”, the hyung encouraged with some last deep thrusts of his hips before biting at his neck, hard.
Jeongguk yelped at the bite, his exhausted dick twitching because of it. He felt all needy and fuzzy; a craving for Taehyung’s attention was growing in his chest after the effects of his climax started to fade.
A minute of heaving breaths passed until Jeongguk squealed in surprise when Taehyung pushed his pants down all the way and grabbed him princess-style, leaving the garment on the floor.
“Did you like it? Was I too rough?”, the hyung asked, pressing his body close.
“I liked it a little too much”, the youngest admitted with a hoarse voice from all the moaning, looking up at Taehyung’s concerned eyes.
“I’m glad”, the other grinned happily, “‘cause I fucking loved it”.
“B-but I can walk”, Jeongguk mumbled, although he secured his arms around Taehyung’s neck. He was in a daze, still processing the hot moment they just shared.
“I don’t know if your beautiful thighs think the same, because they’re trembling”, Taehyung smugly replied, leaving a kiss on his hair afterwards. He walked towards the bathroom like the man in his arms didn’t weigh a thing, “shower?”
Jeongguk blushed and nodded, burying his face in Taehyung’s chest.
★*⍋*♥*⍋*★
After all kinds of last minute preparations, the first day of Jimin and Yoongi’s Wedding finally came. The guests had already been shown their accommodations, and the Welcoming Party would be starting in just a few hours. It would be a relaxed, informal sort of dinner that would allow the husbands-to-be to greet everyone properly and settle in for the next affair, which would be the Wedding Day in itself.
Seokjin was being introduced to everyone in the main hall, and Jeongguk found himself completely at ease around the playful hyung. He could not believe he had been jealous of him once.
Namjoon was there as well, albeit in a wheelchair to keep him from straining his injuries. His sister had had her fun trying to move him around until he made good use of his powerful arms and ditched her, absolutely capable of moving around on his own.
That was how he barged in, pulling the wheelchair to a stop with a huff.
“This is supposed to allow me to rest, but it’s a bit absurd if I have to race my sister all the time”, he said, running a hand through his sandy hair, oblivious to the new face standing in their midst.
“Namjoon-hyung”, Taehyung said, “this is Seokjin-hyung, a very good friend of mine”.
Namjoon looked up and froze. Meanwhile, Kim Seokjin did something Taehyung had never seen him do: he blushed.
“You’re on the organizing team, right?”, Seokjin smiled.
To everyone’s delight, Namjoon only managed a nod. For the rest of their stay on the resort, he wouldn’t be working and mostly kept to his room. Therefore, the recurring joke of the weekend would be that Seokjin could be found usually in Namjoon's room as well.
Right before dinner, Jimin and Taehyung asked with wolfish smiles on their faces for Jeongguk to change Seokjin’s seat and move it next to Namjoon’s. Jeongguk rolled his eyes but did as he was told after Taehyung promised to thank him later on.
Taehyung pouted for a while after dinner, because Jeongguk and Hoseok couldn’t get drunk or avoid their responsibilities during the celebration.
“Hoseok-hyung”, he said, cornering the hyung, “could you manage by yourself tonight? It’s just dinner and a chill party”, he pleaded. “Tomorrow is the big day, so what do you say if you handle it today and Jeongguk and I handle it tomorrow while you have some fun?”
“I don’t think Jeongguk will agree, Tae-yah”, Hoseok replied with an empathetic smile, patting his shoulder.
“Love”, came Jeongguk’s voice then, “stop trying to scheme and come dance with me. Can you give me half an hour, hyung?”
“As long as you need. Have fun”, Hoseok said, raising his glass at them.
Taehyung sighed, letting Jeongguk drag him to the dance floor where people were slow-dancing. He melted in the younger’s arms when he pulled him closer and locked his precious dark eyes on his own.
“What?”, Taehyung mumbled, shy under the scrutinizing gaze.
“Nothing”, Jeongguk said, barely tilting his head to the side, “I’d never imagined this is what Jimin’s wedding would look like”.
“Are you happy?”.
“I couldn’t be happier”, Jeongguk declared, letting his forehead rest on Taehyung’s.
They breathed each other in with their eyes closed. The soft music was the perfect background to their little bubble; the crow surrounding them fading away like a backdrop. Jeongguk felt the enormity of his feelings for the hyung was about to choke him if he didn’t spell them out.
“I couldn’t have done this without you”, he whispered, “I love you”.
“I love you too, Jeonggukie”, Taehyung answered in a raspy drawl, “so, so much. You’ve got no idea”.
The sparks in Jeongguk’s eyes made him feel warm and soft all over. He tightened his hold on his boyfriend, never wanting to let go.
“So show me”, Jeongguk smiled, gently nipping at his lower lip.
“I’ll show you”.
★*⍋*♥ FIN ♥*⍋*★
Notes:
waaaaaa it's the end 🥹😭
I'll re-edit it all, cause it clearly needs some editing, but I'm happy wth it.
It was therapeutic to write 🙃ty to everybody who made it this far, u're the best💜💜💜💜💜
As in every AO3 existential plane, kudos and comments are much appreciated!💖💖ps-still missing bts wth my whole heart tho (cries in magic shop) 🥲💜💜💜