Chapter Text
“Okay, so what do you expect me to do with this?”
“I don’t know,” Namjoon said, a little taken aback by the question. Across the table, Hyein set the pregnancy test back down on the napkin Namjoon had wrapped it in and nudged it back across the table to him. “I’m pregnant.” He said it in case, somehow, Hyein had misread the test. Hyein didn’t react. No misread, then. “I’m having your baby.”
“I appreciate that,” Hyein said, frowning. “I just don’t think this changes anything.”
Namjoon, personally, couldn’t see how it didn’t change everything. But he’d been spiraling for days. “I’m having a baby.”
“Yes, that’s a choice you’re making,” Hyein said. “I don’t know what you need, Namjoon. I think I’ve set some very clear boundaries here. I simply don’t have the emotional capacity to care for a child right now, and we both know a baby isn’t going to fix the fundamental incompatibilities within our relationship.”
Namjoon’s hands were trembling. He pulled them back under the table and gripped the legs of his trousers. “I get that you don’t want kids, but it’s not like not wanting it’s going to make this go away.” He wanted to cry. He always wanted to cry, but he bit down on the urge, as soon as he cried the conversation would be over because then he was the emotional one, the manipulative one.
“I’ve always been very clear about what you can expect from me in terms of child rearing,” Hyein said. He was wearing a shirt and had his hands folded on the table. It was like arguing with middle management. “If you need some money to not be pregnant, well, I’m sure we can agree favorable rates on a loan.”
“I don’t want favorable rates. I want…” He stopped himself, forced himself to breath. It wouldn’t help to yell. He’d yelled already. And cried. And screamed. “You can’t make my homeless when I’m pregnant.”
“I’m not making you homeless,” Hyein said. “I’ve simply terminated the rent on this apartment.”
“Where I live.”
“I’ve give you notice to quit.”
“You can’t give someone notice to quit a six year relationship. I have given you everything. I don’t…”
He was so close to yelling. He stopped and bit his lips. Tears were heavy in his eyes so he wiped them quickly, tried to will the weight of them away. It wouldn't help. Hyein wasn’t the kind of person who second guessed himself. He’d decided they were over, that meant they were over. Namjoon had liked his decisiveness once upon a time, when he’d been finishing university and the world had seemed so big and terrifyingly full of possibility. Then, Hyein’s certainty had been a rock. Everything else might be scary, at least Hyein loved him.
He reached across the table and picked up the pregnancy test.
“Can I at least get a little longer to find somewhere to go?”
“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I’ve given you an option.”
It wasn’t an option. Not for him. Not when all he’d wanted for years was a baby. Not when they’d been talking about it for years. Or he’d been trying to talk about it for years. Somehow every conversation they had about it had turned round until Namjoon somehow ended up defending himself and his own behaviors and needs.
And he’d spent so long trying to work on himself. Trying to be right. Good.
“Is this all?” Hyein asked, gesturing at the test. “Only I’ve got an early meeting with Tokyo.”
“It’s all,” Namjoon said. Hyein nodded, then stood and walked out of the room, leaving Namjoon there with his test and his crumbling future and the tears that he couldn’t hold in any more until all he could do was lean forward, fold in on himself and cry.