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Kunikida was about to lose his shit, and Dazai could tell.
They had both been sitting in the cafe when Dazai had begun doing his usual thing with the waitress.
At first he had asked her age, she was 25, and then asked the infamous question:
He set his elbows on the table and leaned forward against them, “How would you feel about committing a double suicide with me?” Dazai said with his usual flirty grin.
Was it really flirty? Dazai was pretty sure that's just how he smiled-
The waitress, ofcourse, had been caught off guard by the sudden proposal.
“W-what?” She had been stunned, but Dazai continued without pause.
“Well I just think your beautiful, beautiful enough to want to die with, you see”
Blush spread across the waitresses face as his words, Kunikida grew even more angry.
Dazai had just been speaking the truth, the woman was indeed quite attractive. In fact Dazai hadn’t even noticed the blush on her face-
“O-oh, well, I wouldn’t be interested in that but…I would go on a date with you?” She asked hesitantly.
As soon as the words left her mouth Dazai’s grin dropped to a frown and he leaned back in his seat.
“Nevermind then, I’m not interested. '' He waved her off, and that's when Kunikida lost it.
“Dazai! It’s incredibly rude to lead people on like that! You can’t continue to flirt with women and then immediately reject them the second they show actual interest!” Kunikida lectured him.
Dazai’s brows furrowed as he stared at Kunikida while he continued to rant about how rude he was being.
He wasn’t flirting though-? Dazai had simply asked if she wanted to commit suicide with him-? How was that flirty?-
“...Dazai! Are you even listening to me? God, your such an idiot-”
“Kunikida, I wasn’t flirting?” Dazai meant for it to come out as a statement but instead it sounded more like a question.
At his words, Kunikida paused, “Dazai, what do you mean? You were clearly egging her on”
“No I wasn’t, I was simply asking her to commit a double suicide with me, that's not flirting.” Dazai explained.
The blonde let out an annoyed sigh and didn’t say anything but Dazai could tell he didn’t believe him.
“Kunikida, I’m being serious.” At Dazai’s stern tone, Kunikida looked back up at him, “I was not flirting. I had no kinds of intentions other than committing suicide with that woman.” The woman in question had walked away from their table at the start of Kunikida’s rant, “I genuinely was not flirting or whatever”
“Okay, whatever Dazai, I don’t care anymore”
“You clearly do,” Dazai pointed out.
Kunikida sounded exasperated as he said his next words, “Dazai, you can flirt with whoever you want, okay? I won’t even try to stop you anymore”
“How can I prove to you that I wasn’t flirting with that girl?”
“Go up to her, apologize, and tell her the truth”
Kunikida was ready for Dazai to immediately refuse, to tell him that he was being dumb, but to his surprise Dazai had stood up from the table and walked over to the waitress who was now waiting at the register.
“Excuse me, ma’am” Dazai said and the woman's facial expression soured.
“What do you want, asshole. Do you wanna lead me on again or something?” She argued.
Dazai smiled politely, “I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings, you see, I was not trying to come of as flirtatious with you, all I wanted to ask was if you wanted to committee a double suicide with me. I had no other motives, but I see that you took it wrong and i'm sorry for that.”
The woman's face blushed from embarrassment, her expression suspicious.
“And why should I believe you?”
“Because I am aromantic” Dazai blurted out, “I feel no romantic attraction, and often have a hard time understanding when others are interested in me, I really am sorry if it seemed as if I was flirting or something, I guess that's just how I act haha” Dazai chuckled nervously.
The blush on the lady’s face disappeared and her features softened, she said thank you and Dazai smiled awkwardly before telling the woman to have a good day and walking back to Kunikida.
“There, problem solved. That was a tad embarrassing, but i'll get over it soon” He shrugged.
Kunikida stared at him blankly for a moment before speaking, “My apologies, Dazai”
“For what?” Dazai tilted his head to the side, his brown curls falling over his eyes as he did so.
“For pushing you to have to explain personal matters to a total stranger”
“Oh,” Dazai paused, “It’s alright, I don’t really keep it a secret or anything, it's just not something that comes up in conversation a lot”
Kunikida frowned, “Still, it was wrong of me to press the matter as well as yell at you in public for something I was completely misunderstanding”
Dazai smiled brightly, “That's alright! I accept your apology Kunikida-Kun”
The blonde let out a breath before immediately launching into a rant about how Dazai needed to stop asking random pretty ladies to do a double suicide with him.