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Adam remembers the first time he noticed Joel holding his breath. He had been deep in an argument with Burnie about the stock market (fucking, of course he had), and had gotten himself riled up to the point that his words had stopped coming. Adam was actually considering stepping in and dragging Joel out when Joel had sucked in a breath and held it, and when he’d released after thirty seconds of Burnie trying to use their company as an example Joel had been calm. He’d shoved Burnie in the side and told him to shut up and turned and saw Adam there watching him.
“What’s up, we ready to film?” he’d asked.
Adam had nodded and that had been that.
He notices it more after that. When Joel gets upset, or overwhelmed, or fucks up spectacularly, he holds his breath. Not always for long, and never in a way that suggests he knows he’s doing it, but after he resumes breathing he always seems more... settled.
After they start fucking, Adam notices Joel doing it in bed–-or in the hallway, or the living room (or, in one particularly memorable occasion, on the set of the podcast). He’ll close his eyes and arch back and suck in a breath and hold it right before he comes, then gasp through the aftershocks. It’s fucking incredible. And like Pavlov’s dog, Adam can’t imagine anything other than Joel’s o-face when he purses his lips and narrows his eyes in the telltale sign he’s holding his breath.
It’s getting to be a problem.
“Come on,” Adam cajoles, trying to get Joel to move. “We need to, we need to get this bit done. Then you can get back to work, yeah? Just five minutes. Four minutes.”
Joel makes the face and crosses his arms and when he heaves out a sigh ten seconds later Adam is already hard.
“I don’t want to,” Joel complains.
“Okay,” Adam says. “How about this…”
That’s how they end up in the bathroom with Joel pressed against the wall and Adam with his hand in Joel’s pants, about to trade a handjob for some productivity.
Joel’s gasping against Adam’s shoulder and it’s not exactly the best place for this but Adam is pretty sure he’s going to go crazy if he doesn’t at least ask.
“Joel,” he whispers. “I’m, I'm, let me try something.”
Joel laughs weakly as Adam pulls back. “Sure, go for it,” he says. “Whatever it is, yes, I’ll pay for it, please don’t stop touching me.”
Adam grins before getting his hand around Joel’s throat. He doesn’t press, but he doesn’t need to-–Joel immediately tenses and lets out a beautiful moan.
“Can you hold your breath for me?” Adam asks. He gets his thumb up in the delicate juncture between chin and windpipe. Joel coughs when Adam exerts pressure but his cock is twitching in Adam’s other hand.
“When I press,” Adam goes on. “Hold when I press.”
Joel nods as best he can with Adam’s hands around his throat. His eyes are squeezed shut and he looks almost pained.
Adam presses. Joel stops breathing. Adam mirrors him as he continues jerking Joel off, holds his own breath to get a gauge of where Joel is at. When he starts feeling the imperative to breathe Adam moves his thumb.
Joel takes in a shuddering breath that turns into a moan immediately.
“Shh,” Adam urges. He presses on Joel’s throat again and feels a surge of power when Joel’s moan immediately cuts off as he squeezes his mouth shut.
This time Adam doesn’t wait as long before releasing. He can tell by the way Joel’s trying to thrust into his strokes that Joel is close, and wants, wants to trigger the orgasm the way he’s seen Joel do to himself.
“One more,” Adam tells Joel as he breathes shallowly. “I’m going to do it one more time, and you’re going to come for me.”
Joel nods furiously, eyes still shut.
Adam leans in to kiss him and pushes his thumb back against Joel’s windpipe as he does so. It’s chaste, because Joel’s pushing his lips together tightly, but Adam lingers, waiting for the drop, waiting for Joel to crest the hill.
He slows his hand down, draws it out. Doesn’t give Joel what he needs until twenty, thirty seconds have passed and Joel’s throat is working under Adam’s hand as he fights the imperative to breathe.
Adam pushes it to forty seconds before he gives in and jerks Joel off like he knows Joel needs. He releases Joel’s throat at the same moment and gets to swallow Joel’s gasp as he comes.
The kiss is sloppy, uncoordinated, interrupted by Joel’s shaky breaths as he tries to come down. Adam only relents when Joel’s hands come up to push him away.
He licks at the cum on his hand absently as he watches Joel flounder.
“Good?” Adam asks. Joel makes a sound like a wounded animal.
“You’re a fucking freak,” he gasps. “Who, who chokes someone in a bathroom? Oh my god, my chest is, I think I’m dying, holy shit. I need, I need a drink.”
It’s about par for the course for post-coital Joel and Adam grins widely.
“You know where we can get a drink?” he says. “At the store. Which is where we need to go to get a shot of you buying pie.”
It takes Joel a second to parse this. “I can’t believe you,” he says darkly once he realizes Adam is holding him to their earlier agreement. “You, you wring my soul out of my dick and then make me buy you a pie.”
If Joel’s cock weren’t still hanging out it’d be the perfect shot-–him glowering but still somehow managing to seem utterly content where he’s leaning against the door.
“Are you done fucking or whatever?” Jack says plaintively from outside the bathroom. “Don’t make me walk across the lot to pee, Joel.”
Joel whips the door open. “Have you ever been choked?” he demands. Jack blinks at him, open zipper and all, glances over Joel’s shoulder at Adam, and sighs deeply.
“No, Joel, I have not. Get the fuck out of the bathroom. And put your dick away.”
Joel looks like he’s ready to start a discussion, so Adam takes it on himself to grab Joel’s waist from behind and deftly tuck him back into his pants before herding him out of the door.
“Sorry, Jack,” he says.
“You’re really not,” Jack sighs.
“Nope. Come on, Joel.”
“I, are you seriously so heartless that you’re going to make me buy you a pie?” Joel whines. Adam continues herding him out of the office, towards the car.
“Absolutely,” he says.
Joel sucks in an outraged breath and holds it.