Chapter 1: Welcome to the Cipher-Verse
Chapter Text
Phineas woke up to find himself in his backyard. He wasn’t alone either since Ferb, Candace, Stacy, Jeremy, Baljeet, Isabella, Buford, Vanessa, her dad…oh, hey! There was Carl and his dad too. He hadn’t seen them since they’d met. There was also Fireside Troop 46231, and finally…
“There you are Perry.”
The platypus made his classic chattering sound.
“Uh…Carl? How did we end up in Flyn-Fletchers’ backyard?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
The two men from OWCA looked at Doofenshmirtz.
“Don’t look at me. I didn’t do this. At least I don’t think I did. And if this is my fault, it wasn’t intentional. My New Year’s resolution was to give up evil for good-Wait a minute! New Year’s! Where’s all the snow?!”
Everyone looked around to see that it was a summer day. Which was weird because last night was New Year’s Eve.
Candace narrowed her eyes at her brothers.
“Alright, what did you do?” she said, crossing her arms.
“I don’t think we did anything. Ferb?”
The green haired boy shook his head.
“Then why is it summer all of the sudden?! And how did we all get in our backyard?!”
“This isn’t the backyard,” they heard Isabella say. She was standing in the tree, frantically looking in every direction.
“How can you tell, Isabella?” Phineas asked, not even doubting her for a moment.
“Because the rest of Danville is gone!”
“What?!” everyone present shouted.
Vanessa immediately opened the gate and saw that there was nothing but blue sky beyond the front yard. Not even the ground.
Everyone was silent.
“…Okay, just to be clear, I did not do this,” Heinz said.
Dipper woke up with a groan.
“Mabel? You there?”
“Dipper? Yeah, I’m…Back in the Shack?!”
“Huh?!”
They looked to see that they were not on the bus like they were when they fell asleep, but in the Mystery Shack’s living room. With them were Stan, Ford, Soos, Wendy, McGucket, Candy, Grenda, Pacifica, Nate, Lee, Robbie, and Tambry. Oh, and Waddles.
“Kids?” Stan asked. “What are you two doing here?”
“How did we get here?” Robbie cut in.
Ford pulled out a scanner and pressed a few buttons. The arrow on the meter immediately went to the red zone and clicked rapidly.
Fiddleford caught a glance and gasped.
“Sweet sarsaparilla! There haven’t been readings like that since Wierdma…Never Mind All That!”
“Uh, guys? Look outside,” Wendy said in an uncharacteristically fearful tone.
Dipper opened the door and froze upon seeing an endless void of red and purple. The colors from Wierdmageddon.
Pacifica, who was standing right behind him, let out an eep and clung to Dipper for dear life.
The boy closed the door and turned to everyone.
“Okay, so nobody go outside and we’ll be fine.” He turned to Pacifica. “You can let go of me now.”
Pacifica’s face blanched and she let go of him before clearing her throat. Mabel saw this and quirked a brow.
“Sixer, any idea what’s going on?” Stan asked his twin.
Ford shook his head.
Anne woke up to feel two weights on top of her. She opened her eyes to see that they were Sasha and Marcy.
Why is it getting hot right now?
The two opened their eyes and immediately got off their friend. Sasha cleared her throat while Marcy looked away to hide her blush.
Anne looked around and gasped.
She was back in the Plantars’ house!
And there they were.
“Sprig! Polly! Hop Pop!”
“Anne!”
All three of them hopped right for her and tackled the teenaer in a hug.
“Lieutenant?” Shasha heard from behind. She beamed upon seeing Grime.
“Grimesy!” she pulled him into a tight hug.
“Olivia! Yunan!” Marcy exclaimed after seeing them. She tried to embrace them both, but tripped over her feet and fell to the floor. “I’m okay.”
“Anne? Where are we?” Oum asked her daughter. Her husband had the same question.
“Why this is our home,” Hop Pop answered. “Please sit down. The couch is quite comfortable.”
The Boonchuy girl looked around the room to see Sasha, Marcy, her parents, Sprig, Polly, Hop Pop, Grime, Olivia, Yunan, Ivy, Maddie, Frobo, Mr. X, and outside was…
“Andrias?”
Everyone looked out the window to see the giant newt awkwardly waving to them.
“Uh…hello everyone. This is awkward. This might not be the best time, but it appears we are surrounded by miles of ocean with no land in sight.”
“What?!”
Sprig hopped through the window to see that the house was not in Wartwood, but a vast ocean.
“How did this happen?” Mr. X queried.
“The last thing I remember is walking through the portal,” Sasha answered. “Then everything went black and I woke up here.”
Anne gazed upon the ocean
“I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re gonna figure this out.”
Luz woke up to the sight of Amity hovering over her.
“Luz! Luz, wake up!”
The human yawned and stretched her arms before hugging her with them, eliciting a blush on Amity’s face.
“Good morning, Sweet Potato,” she said, nuzzling into her neck.
“Luz, as much as I am enjoying this, we have a serious problem.”
“Oh, come on, Amity. After what happened yesterday, it can’t possibly be that bad.”
“The Boiling Isles are gone.”
Luz immediately shot up and ran for the window in her room. She opened it and gasped in horror that the Owl House was surrounded by nothing but the Boiling Oceans for as far as the eye could see.
Noceda gripped her girlfriend by the shoulders and started shaking her.
“Where’s everyone else?! Are they okay?! Are they safe?! Did the Collector do this?!”
“Luz, calm down!” her girlfriend pleaded.
Realizing how rough she was being, the young witch did as asked and chuckled nervously.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Everyone else is in the living room.”
The couple went down the stairs hand in hand and saw everyone else chatting animatedly. All their friends and family were there, including Willow, Gus, Hunter, Edric, Emira, Alador, Eda, King, Raine, Camilla, Lilith, Hooty, Hunter, Darius, Eberwolf, the Collector, and Vee.
Camilla ran up to her daughter and hugged her tightly. Then Stringbean slithered through the air and joined in.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“We don’t know,” Eda answered. “But whatever it is, I don’t like it.”
King looked to the Collector.
“Hey, Collector, buddy, you didn’t do this, did you?”
The kid snapped his fingers with only little stars coming out.
“My powers aren’t working here. I don’t think we’re even in the Demon Realm.”
“Then where are we,” Luz asked.
“Everyone, look!” Hooty shouted, opening his door.
Suddenly, a door appeared outside. But it wasn’t just any door.
Luz gasped.
“The Portal Door!” She ran right for it and opened it up to see…a movie theater? “Huh?”
Then a letter appeared and was caught by Amity, who began to read it aloud
“Greetings people from the Boiling Isles. I understand that you are scared right now. But please stay calm. You are in no present danger. You are also wondering where you are…”
“…You are all in a junction of dimensions, replicated in the form of your home. It will expand to form the entirety of the towns you came from. I have only made it as such so that you may understand your situation better…” Phineas read to the Danville group.
“…A friend of mine has aided me by pulling you out of your respective dimensions and will return you at the exact moment you left when we are done here. As to why you are all here…” Dipper read to the people from Gravity Falls.
“I’m not overselling it when I say that the fate of everything depends on you,” Anne paused, exchanging worried glances with the Amphibia group. “This situation spans multiple dimensions across different times. I have selected each person and each group because I believe that you will help each other in ways you cannot imagine. For starters, you have more in common than meets the eye…”
“…But why waste time explaining this to you when I can simply show you. This place functions like a mindscape. So we shall be reviewing your past experiences so that you may better understand each other. A door will appear if it hasn’t already. There is a movie theater on the other side. And your pasts have been formatted into shows with episodes and seasons. Makes things easier. Name gags will appear on each person to signify which episode they may join the main room, upon finishing this letter. And tv’s will be in each group’s room so the others may watch as well,” Amity finished.
And just like that, the name tags appeared.
“What do you make of this?” Lilith asked Darius.
The Head of the Abomination Coven rubbed his chin in thought.
“Given the fact that the room is there, and that we don’t seem to have any other choice, it’s best that we play along. But be on guard.
Everyone nodded.
Luz looked down at her tag.
“Well, looks like I’m in the first episode. Later taters!” she said before kissing her girlfriend on the cheek and walking away, with Eda and King following her out. Amity’s face looked like a tomato.
“Do you ever get bored seeing her face like that?” Gus questioned Willow with a smirk.
“Not at all.”
“Me neither.”
The theater was silent. There were four doors in the back. They were all replicas of the ones from the Backyard, Mystery Shack, Plantar Farm, and the Owl House. Those door then opened and out came today’s viewers. From Danville were Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Isabella, Perry, and Doofenshmirtz. From Gravity Falls came Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, and Wendy. Out of Amphibia walked in Anne, Sprig, Polly, and Hop Pop. Finally from the Owl House came Luz, Eda, and King. The various individuals began to mingle and exchange names. At least, after the initial surprise of talking frogs.
“Woah! Dude, your head! It’s shaped like a triangle!” Soos exclaimed.
Phineas chuckled.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Cool.”
Stan blinked upon seeing the boy. Then he frowned. I just hope he wasn’t picked on like Ford.
Anne stopped short when she saw Stan.
“Uh, guys? Is it just me, or does he look like the Curator?” quietly and breathless.
“It’s not just you, Anne,” Sprig answered, equally worried.
“Oh my gosh!” Everyone turned to see Mabel pick up Perry and King and hug them. “You two are so cute !”
The platypus just growled, not particularly minding the action. King however, squirmed and tried to push her arms off of him.
“No! Not again! Eda! Luz! Help me!”
His two family members just laughed.
The same could not be said about the Gravity Falls crew, though. They all froze, even Mabel, because that voice sounded a lot like…
Bill, Dipper thought. But it couldn’t be. Stan and Ford erased him.
Mabel immediately put Perry and King down and backed away, causing Eda to raise an eyebrow.
“What’s got all of you so nervous?”
“Nothing to worry about,” a disembodied voice spoke, gaining everyone’s attention. “Greetings. I am your host. And before we begin there are a few things to clarify. As all of you are aware, there exists the Multiverse, made up of infinite Timelines. Timelines are typically made up of multiple Dimensions, or Realms, but time flows the same. Some of you come from a different Dimension but all exist on the same Timeline. In fact, all the humans brought here are from the same Dimension of Earth. But each group has been pulled from a different point in the Timeline. The Gravity Falls group is from 2012. The Danville group is from New Year’s Day in 2013. The Amphibia group is from early 2020. Finally the Owl House group is from November 2020. And in order to prevent any problems with the Time-Space Continuum, a portion of your memories gained here will be forgotten until November 2020. I also ask that you please don’t spoil what happens in your ‘shows,’ or I will have to use a silencing spell.” Everyone looked at each other and nodded. “Good. We will be watching roughly three ‘episodes’ of each ‘show’ a day in chronological order. Sometimes it will be six half length episodes.”
“So that means our show is first?” Heinz asked.
“Yes.”
“Which episodes are we watching today?” Phineas questioned.
“Rollercoaster. Fast and the Phineas. Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror. Flop Starz. Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face. Tree to Get Ready.” The ones who understood what those titles meant smiled fondly. Those were some good days. “Keep in mind that since your group has had so many adventures that for the sake of time, not all of them will be covered. But you are more than free to talk about them during the breaks. Oh, and before I forget, you have lost some memories, but I shall restore them.”
Perry’s eyes widened in alarm.
“What are you…” Phineas trailed off, holding a hand to his head and groaned. The rest from Danville began to do the same thing. Then a metaphorical dam burst inside their heads and everything came back. Traveling to the 2nd Dimension. Meeting the other Doofenshmirtz. Learning Perry was a secret agent. The battle in Downtown. Agreeing to forget that day. Then there was something else, but they couldn’t remember what.
Phineas and Ferb looked down at their pet with wide eyes. He looked back at them nervously. Then they smiled fondly and started petting him.
“Water under the bridge,” the triangle headed boy whispered. “Right Ferb?”
Ferb gave them a thumbs up.
Candace just blinked.
“I still have so many questions. Like what’s that last thing I can’t remember?”
The others nodded in agreement.
“Well, that last memory would be a spoiler for a certain someone in your group. And I do not think now is the time for them to know. Anyways, everyone get seated, and let us begin.”
Chapter 2: Setting the Precedent
Notes:
Let me know if I made any errors, I'll fix them. Enjoy.
By the way, this was not easy to make.
Chapter Text
Rollercoaster
The Phineas and Ferb intro plays.
“Oh, wow. That song was nice,” Luz praised.
“Did you guys really do all that?!” Sprig asked excitedly.
Ferb nodded.
“That and so much more,” Phineas said.
“Wow.” Then he leaned over to Polly. “Hey, Sis, do you think you could build all that? You rebuilt Frobo,” he asked in a hushed voice.
“Give me one week on the internet and I’m all set.”
Phineas asks Ferb and Perry what they should today.
Phineas: Well, he's a platypus. They don't do much. I, for one, am starting to get bored, and boredom is something up with which I will not put! The first thing they're gonna ask us when we get back to school is "what did we do over the summer?". I mean, no school for three months. Our life should be a rollercoaster!
Eda and Mabel smiled broadly. They could relate to that outlook.
Phineas: And I mean a good rollercoaster. Not like that one we rode at the state fair...
Flashback on a rollercoaster at the state fair. It goes over one tiny hill then ends.
The audience blinked at the flashback.
“Seriously? That was an actual rollercoaster?” Anne asked.
“It looks so boring,” King added.
“It was,” Phineas answered.
Phineas decides that they're gonna build a rollercoaster
“I meant to ask earlier, how do you kids even afford building all that?” Stan questioned. It took him thirty years to get to where he is now, and these two what? Had tons of money just lying around?
“Yeah, where do you get the money for your projects? You’re not using Mom and Dad’s credit cards are you?” Candace demanded. She may have promised to stop busting them, but that scenario would be really bad.
“Oh no, no, no,” Phineas chuckled. Those funds are from college grants.”
“College grants?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah. Every college we could find funds our projects to gain research and development. And also us as students if we want to when we’re older.
Dipper couldn’t tell if he was jealous or impressed. Maybe both?
Linda heads off to the grocery store and agrees with Candace that if a satellite falls out of orbit and crashes into the house, then she’s in charge.
“Isn’t that a little unlikely?” Wendy asked.
“Actually, with everything I’ve seen in the past six months, it’s very possible,” Candace replied.
Mabel tilted her head and Stan raised a brow. Their mom looked familiar.
Candace comes into the backyard and tells her brothers that she’s watching them and is in charge conditionally.
“Why are you so insistent on being in charge?” Anne asked with a frown. It reminded her of the old Sasha a bit. And not in a good way.
“Well…it took me a while to realize this, but I was really insecure back then,” Candace answered.
Candace is on the phone with Stacy while Phineas and Ferb walk past the glass door with different parts and tools.
“Who’s Stacy?” Mabel.
“Stacy’s my best friend. You’d all like her. I think you’ll meet her later today.”
Candace: Mom left me in charge, so there will be no shenanigans today. What are they doing right now? Why do you ask? What do you mean you can see it from your house? See what?!
“Did you guys already finish it?” Luz asked, amazed.
“You’ll see,” Phineas answered.
Candace runs out to the backyard, she stares in shock upon seeing the rollercoaster, along with horror music.
The other groups’ eyes widened at this.
“You’re already a few dozen feet high and that was in less than a minute ?!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Wow, you dudes work fast,” Soos praised. “It usually takes me a few hours to finish my work.”
The boys beamed with pride. At least Phineas did. Ferb was harder to tell.
Candace: Phineas, what is this?!
Phineas: Do you like it?
Candace: (gets angry) Ooh, I'm gonna tell Mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are going down! (runs off) Down! Down! Down! D-O-W-N, down!
“Well…on the one hand, I see where you’re coming from. But on the other hand, they look like they’re gonna be fine,” Luz said.
“Can you blame me? These two are kids ! And they’re building a rollercoaster ? They could get hurt!” Candace defended herself. “At least, that’s what I used to think.”
“What do you two think?” Eda asked Stan and Hopediah. “Should her brothers go down for this?”
“Hmmm. When my niece and nephew over there spent the Summer with me, I let them do what they would so long as they didn’t go looking for trouble. And these boys seem to know what they’re doing. So I guess let them off the hook,” Stan answered.
“Well, I don’t know. I think I’m on their sister’s side here. That looks really dangerous,” Hop Pop said. He remembered how Polly tried to rebuild Frobo the first time. It nearly got her killed.
“Well, I for one am all for it! Let those boys live life to the fullest!” She then turned to the brothers in question and gave them a thumbs up. “You’re doing good, boys!”
“Thanks Ms. Eda,” Phineas responded.
Isabella walks into the backyard.
Isabella: (hearts in eyes) Hey, Phineas.
Isabella let out a loud “eep" at the blatant exposure of her crush and blushed a deep red.
Mabel gasped and covered her mouth and let out a quiet “Oh my gosh!” Wendy, Luz , and Anne smirked. Srig smiled at the image, thinking about Ivy. Polly and Stan rolled their eyes. Young love made them sick. Eda chuckled. Candace and Perry blinked. They know Isabella likes Phineas, but real heart eyes? Dang.
“Wow, Isabella,” Phineas began, causing her to suck in a breath. The whole room watched in anticipation. “Since when could you do that with your eyes? It’s amazing! But why hearts?”
The raven haired girl frowned, yet was relieved.
“Oh, you know. Artistic choice.”
He just shrugged.
Ferb and Perry face palmed.
Stan stared at the boy, dumbfounded. This girl was head over heels for him, and he couldn’t see it ?! He would have been leaping at the opportunity when he was that kid’s age.
Eda leaned over to Candace.
“Does he really have no idea?”
She shook her head.
“Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Not a clue. It’s embarrassing really.”
“But she’s so obvious,” Doof cut into the conversation. “I know I don’t know you all very well, but even I can tell that she likes him.”
“My brother is what you would call, smart with math, but stupid with love .”
“Well, I can’t really blame the boy,” Hop Pop began. “You see, I-” He was cut off by a purple symbol appearing over his mouth, silencing him. “Say what?!”
“I’m sorry, Hopediah. But you were about to give away a spoiler.”
“Oh. Right.”
Luz leaned over to Eda.
“Eda, did that look like a glyph combo?”
“I think it did.”
Isabella buries her face in her hands and sighs. Then she feels and hand patting her back and turns to see Dipper giving her a small smile.
“Problems with a crush?”
She rolls her eyes.
“Can I be more obvious?”
“No, but I know what you’re going through. I can’t explain right now because of spoilers, but I understand what you’re going through. And I’m here if you wanna talk to somebody.”
She smiled at him.
“I might just take you up on that.”
Isabella asks if Phineas wants to go swimming, but he tells her he’s busy. She says that she’ll come back for the rollercoaster.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
Perry walks around the corner of the house. He jumps up, puts on a fedora and walks into a hole in the wall. He goes down a lift, into a lair, where he gets an "Incoming Message".
Everyone’s jaws dropped, minus the ones from Danville. Then they looked at the platypus in the room with them in disbelief.
Perry sighed before sitting up and putting the fedora on his head.
“…I have so many questions right now,” Luz said.
“We can answer your questions at the break,” Ferb offered, to which the others in the room nodded.
Luz had a hundred theories going through her head a minute. Did Perry have some sort of connection to the Demon Realm like giraffes do?
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons unknown to us, he bought up 80% of the country's tin foil. I want you to get over to his hideout right away. Find out what he's up to and put a stop to it. As always Agent P, it is important that your cover identity as a mindless domestic pet remains intact. Now, get out there. We're all counting on you.
“Wait a minute, that was you ? I couldn’t get tin foil for months!” Stan complained.
“You’re evil?” Anne asked with narrowed eyes, her right hand forming a fist.
The others were getting ready for a fight as well. Wendy slowly reached for her ax, while Eda reached for Owlbert.
“Well, I-I mean…I was . I gave it up! I’ve changed,” Heinz defended. “In fact, I don’t think I was ever really evil , I may have just been petty.”
They were about to attack when King jumped in their way.
“Stop! If were still evil he wouldn’t be here. Our host said that we could trust each other. And I don’t know why, but I feel like he’s right.”
The ladies lowered their weapons.
“Fine,” Eda conceded. “But I’ve got my eye on you, Doofus!”
“It’s Doofenshmirtz! It’s a German…ah, forget it,” he sighed in defeat.
Agent P jumps into a platypus-themed hovercraft, and flies through a tunnel. He leaves through a stone and holds his fedora down to hide from Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas: So, the way I see it, the fuel rockets kick in at the mall's parking lot, then we release the snakes during the corkscrew at the interstate. I'm gonna go get the snakes.
“Now boys, I don’t think that’s a very safe idea,” Hop Pop warned.
The pair shrugged.
“No need to be worried, Mr Plantar. Everything worked out fine,” Phineas said.
It didn’t ease the old frog’s worries though. In fact, he was rooting for their sister to get their mom before things got out of hand.
Candace runs into the store and finds Linda and tells her that Phineas and Ferb are building a rollercoaster.
Linda: Candace, seriously, isn't Phineas a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?
Phineas talks to a man in a car factory.
Factory Manager: Aren't you a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?
Phineas: Yes. Yes, I am.
The audience chuckled at that.
The Factory Manager is impressed by their paperwork and even gives them a robot arm that starts building the rollercoaster for them.
“He just gave it to you?!” Stan questioned, perplexed.
“Being helpful goes a long way,” Isabella explained.
“Huh. Soos, right that down so I know how to suck up to people like that!”
The camera zooms in on Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
“Ooh, nice jingle,” Mabel complimented.
“Thank you!” Heinz said.
The audience reluctantly agreed with the little girl.
Agent P swings into the building. Upon greeting him, Doofenshmirtz presses a button, which activates arms that grabs Agent P.
Doofenshmirtz: I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tin foil, and when I put my giant magnet, next to my genius, Magnetism Magnifier, I will pull the East, in westerly direction, thereby reversing the rotation of the earth.
Polly just laughed loudly.
“What’s so funny?” Candace asked the tadpole.
“Oh, you’ll see,” she responded smugly. She knew what was gonna happen.
Back at the store, Ferb puts up a poster, Candace comes over to read it. Candace runs of to get her mom to see the it. Then Pedro and Dmitri take it with them just as Candace brings Linda over. Candace sees that the poster is gone and screams.
“ Ooooooh . So that’s what happened,” Candace said.
“Dang it,” Hopediah muttered.
Phineas and Ferb reveal the coaster. A bird files into it.
Everyone couldn’t help the laugh that escaped their lips
(Everyone gets in and the ride starts. The car goes over the top, and stops, viewing the long drop. Down it goes; the car goes around the coaster, on the track. Everyone screams. Then they go through the drop of snakes.
Phineas: Relax, they're just rubber!
Hop Pop sighed in relief.
The car goes into a bucket of mud, then exits. Later, it goes through a car wash, to be cleaned from the mud.
Hop Pop goes back to being worried again.
They go through the AH-AH-AH-AH!
The audience chuckled at that.
The car zooms around the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. Agent P sends a screw at Doofenshmirtz, which he ducks for. The screw flies to the roof and hits a line, which throws it back at Doofenshmirtz's foot.
Everyone either burst out laughing or smiled slightly.
“Ha ha! You got stabbed by a screw!” King taunted.
“Go ahead. Laugh at my pain,” Doof grumbled sarcastically.
“Gladly,” Polly giggled.
Doofenshmirtz jumps around and accidentally releases Agent P, who quickly attacks him.
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan cheered.
Except for Eda, everyone else gave him a strange look.
“Alright, this looks entertaining,” she conceded.
(Agent P hits Doofenshmitz's foot.) Aaaoow!! (During the fight, Doofenshmirtz activates the Magnetism Magnifier.)
The other groups exchanged worried looks. Polly however grinned and started rubbing her hands together in excitement.
Doofenshmirtz: Now you are too late! Quake in your boots and watch helplessly, as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces, pull the eastern seaboard, thereby reversing the rotation of the Ea--
All the tin foil releases from the buildings.
Doofenshmirtz: Well... that didn't work.
Polly laughed so hard that she fell out of seat.
“Wait, Polly, did you know that would happen?” Anne asked.
“Yep. And that’s not even the best part.”
“What’s the best part?” King questioned.
“Wait one second,” she said gleefully.
(The tin foil forms into a giant ball, flying through the air)
Doofenshmirtz: And now, we have a two-ton ball of tin foil traveling 200 miles per hour directly at us! Quickly, we must separate the magnet from the Magnifier before it's too late!
Polly laughed again and King’s eyes widened.
“ Oooooooooh . That’s the best part.”
At the store, Candace sees the rollercoaster outside and rushes off.
Doofenshmirtz: It's no use! It's no use! We are doomed!
Agent P sees a helicopter. He jumps onto the magnet and fires a grappling hook at it. He quickly wraps some of the rope around the magnet. The helicopter flies off, taking the magnet with it.
“Yes! Grappling hooks forever!” Mabel cheered.
Perry gave her brother a confused look.
“You’ll find out later,” he waved off.
Doofenshmirtz: You did it! You saved us, Perry the Platypus! (The ball of tin foil crashes through the building.) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
The audience was all laughing now. Except Doof, who just crossed his arms and grumbled something inaudibly.
“How are you still alive?” Hopediah queried.
“Heinz’s Law.”
“What?” Dipper asked.
“I’ll explain after we’re done for today.”
The magnet pulls a piece of the Magnetism Magnifier onto it, and gets stuck on the coaster, which then follows the helicopter into the sky. Candace pulls Linda into the parking lot, only to see that the coaster is gone.
“Okay, I gotta admit, that’s pretty rough,” Luz said.
“Tell me about it,” Candace groaned into her hands.
Candace: Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the backyard, right?
Linda: Well, yes, that would be my guess.
Candace: Fine, then let's go home, now! (She pushes the cart.)
Hop Pop hoped that this would stop them from doing any other dangerous stuff. His own grandchildren had been through enough, and he didn’t want to see these kids get hurt.
Agent P sees that the helicopter is smoking and cuts the rope. He drops down onto the coaster and in the cart, right behind Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Perry chatters
Phineas: Nice hat, Isabella.
Isabella takes off Agent P's fedora and looks at it, confused.
The audience chuckled at that.
“So that’s how it got there,” Isabella said.
The car goes to the end of the track and flies onto a construction area and flings into the air.
Phineas: Funny, I don't remember this in the blueprints.
An airplane picks up the car by the tail.
Candace screamed and pulled her brothers into a hug, afraid of what might happen if they get out of her sight.
Ferb patted her back.
“We’re right here, Candace. It’s okay,” Phineas comforted.
She just nodded silently
Phineas: And I'm sure this is new.
Candace sees the airplane from Linda's car.
Candace: Hehehehehehehehehehe!
Linda: I worry about you sometimes, Candace.
Candace glared at her past self. This was not the time!
The coaster car drops down and onto the Statue of Liberty, bending and throwing it to the woods. It lands on a pine tree which bends so they end up in front of Mr Slushy Burger.
Candace beamed at the sight of her boyfriend. She couldn’t wait for him to be here.
(Before taking any orders, the tree bends back and throws them to France, Paris)
Dipper blinked, stunned by the casual breaking of the laws of physics.
The car gets flung into orbit.
Candace sucks in a breath and holds her brothers closer.
“What the heck?!” Luz exclaimed.
(A satellite flies by)
Phineas: You know, if that thing crashes into earth, Candace is in charge.
The car suddenly falls down towards earth, towards the Tri-State area. The front of the car begins to burn like a meteor.
The adults gripped their seats, worried for the kids.
Linda pulls the car on the driveway and Candace jumps out.
Linda: Okay, we're here, are you happy now, Candace?
Horror music plays; Candace opens the gate to the backyard and doesn't see Phineas or Ferb.
Hopediah didn’t even care if the boys were stopped anymore, he just wanted them to be safe.
Candace sees that they’re gone and gets Linda, only to find the boys right under the tree, much to her mind shattering confusion. The two go inside to put away the groceries.
“You must have the best luck in the universe. The odds of survival…” Dipper was cut off by Mabel covering his mouth.
She then gestured to their sister who was holding them tightly. Realizing he wasn’t helping, Dipper stopped. Instead he decided to take out his Pine Tree Journal and right down what they’d gone over so far, starting with Agent P.
Kids drop down from the tree, saying how cool it was.
“You know, it actually was really cool,” Luz praised.
“I know I would definitely ride it. Even with that danger at the end,” Sprig said.
Dipper and Mabel looked at the pink frog like he was insane. Anne, Polly, and Hop Pop just face palmed or shook their heads.
Isabella comes down from the tree.
Isabella: That was great, Phineas. So, what are you gonna do tomorrow?
Phineas: Don't know yet.
Isabella: (pets Perry) Maybe you could teach Perry some tricks.
Phineas: Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much.
“Well, apparently they do,” Candace said.
Ferb: They're the only mammals to lay eggs.
(Pause)
Phineas: …Maybe he’ll lay an egg.
Heinz laughed loudly at the idea, and laughed even harder upon seeing Perry’s blush.
Isabella said that the two of them make a great team.
Phineas: Well, a brother is a brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Ferb. You know what I mean?
Mabel ruffled her brother’s hair.
“I do,” she said.
“Hey, cut that out!” he said before starting to tickle her.
Luz hugged King close. So did Candace with her brothers and Anne with her frog brother and sister.
Stan and Eda smiled fondly at the thought of their siblings. Sure, it was a bumpy road for each of them, but they managed to repair their relationships.
The only one not happy was Heinz. He just crossed his arms and sighed. Then Perry lightly punched his arm and smiled. Doof rolled his eyes and smiled back.
The coaster car explodes in the tree, a car alarm and a dog barking can be heard.
Candace: (from inside) Mom!!
Linda: (from inside) Give it a rest, Candace!
The tin foil ball rolls in the background while Doofenshmirtz was still crushed.
Polly laughed again before the episode ended.
“Did she really not notice the fire?” Eda asked.
“Yeah, but these two took care of it,” Candace answered, arms still around her brothers.
“Okay, I have so many questions about him ,” Luz pointed at Perry.
“I’ll start,” Heinz said. “So there’s is organization that has animal agents that fight villains across town.”
“But how is he as smart as a human?” Dipper wondered. “I mean, it’s not usually possible.”
“Huh. You know, I haven’t really thought of that…I have no idea.”
Anne wondered if there was some connection to Amphibia here.
“Alright, everyone. Time for the next one,” their host said.
Fast and the Phineas
Phineas and Ferb are wondering what to do today, besides give Perry a bath.
From beyond, a race car sound is heard against them.
Phineas: (peeking over the fence) What is that wonderful noise?
Camera shows Jefferson County Motor Speedway, where the racing cars qualify for Swamp Oil 500, miles away from the house.
“Woah! Those look amazing !” Sprig exclaimed. He hopped onto Anne’s shoulder and grabbed both sides of her face. “Anne, what are they?”
“Those are race cars. Now can you please let go of my face?”
Phineas: Awesome. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
“Ooh, a race. Anyone here want to place bets? My money’s on the more experienced racers,” Stan said.
Eda grinned.
“I’ll take that action. What’s the prize?”
“My gold chain necklace or your golden ring right there.”
He pulled out said necklace from around his neck and showed it to her. The way it shined caused her eyes to gleam.
“Ooh, it’s so shiny, I must have it for my nest,” she whispered. “Alright, Pines. You’re on.”
The Danville group snickered, knowing that Stan had already lost.
In the garage, they start to work on turning the family car into a race car. Candace walks in and she notices the boys working on the car, and learns that they made it into a race car with a remote control.
“Wow. What’s the range on the remote?” Polly asked.
“Only a few miles. Just enough to go around the track,” Ferb answered.
Candace: (deeply) Oh, you are so busted.
She exits the garage and looks for their mom before heading to the Garcia-Shapiro house.
Candace: Heh, they won't get away with it this time!
“Now boys, I don’t think you should be taking your mother’s car out for this,” Hop Pop spoke up. “Think of all the terrible things that could happen.”
Anne and Sprig whistled innocently, remembering how they took Bessie for a joy ride. Their faces fell when they realized that Hop Pop would be seeing that soon.
Vivian answers the door and keeps talking to Candace, inadvertently stalling her.
“Sorry that my mom’s asking so many questions, Candace. She can be really talkative,” Isabella apologized.
“Nah, it’s fine,” the redhead waved off.
Back outside, Car zooms past Phineas and Ferb four times and blows their hair forward, burst, switched, and swapped back.
Dipper and Luz observed this with interest. It seemed like something you’d find in the Demon Realm or Gravity Falls.
Phineas: Hey, Ferb. What's the red button for?
(Car continues zooming, Ferb pushes the red button. The car blasts upward behind her; Linda comes out, and only sees the boys. Candace just stands there, speechless and deadpanned. Just after Linda closes the door, the car lands back onto the road.)
“Wow, that’s like, really weird timing,’ Soos said.
Isabella walks over and helps them organize a pit crew.
Dipper shook his head fondly.
Classic crush move.
(To Ferb) Hey Ferb, where's Perry?
(Scene shifts to Perry's lair)
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons completely unknown, he's purchased a giant airship or blimp, as the kids say. Your mission is to find out why, and if necessary, put a stop to it.
“That’s it? I know you guys watch him for good reason, but that doesn’t sound inherently evil,’ Wendy inquired.
Perry shrugged.
♪ (Perry)! ♪
Eda sat up straighter. Where did that music come from?
Scene shifts to the Motor Speedway.
Isabella: (Dreamily) Hi, Phineas. I got your pit crew.
The Fireside Girls lined up behind Isabella.
The door for the Danville room opened and out came the Fireside Girls themselves.
“Hi, guys!” Gretchen greeted as she and the others sat down.
“Hey, girlfriends!” Isabella waved.
“More girls!” Mabel squealed.
Isabella: Okay, girls. We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam, and a limited slip differential.
Gretchen: Would that be electronically fuel-injected?
“You guys know about engineering? Awesome!” Polly praised.
Candace looks for Phineas and Ferb but stops upon finding Jeremy. She tries to talk like she knows about racing.
Mabel, Luz, and Wendy smirked at their fellow teen. Candace just chuckled sheepishly.
That ended as soon the door to their room opened again, and out came Jeremy.
“Jeremy!” Candace exclaimed.
“Hey, Candace,” he smiled softly, sitting down next to her.
“Everyone, this is Jeremy. M-” she was silenced by the purple symbol. “ Seriously ?!”
“Great~. More teen mushy stuff,” Stan said sarcastically.
Jeremy tells Candace that Phineas is gonna be on tv and that gives her an idea.
“That’ll work,” Luz said.
“You’d think that,” Candace grimaced.
Candace calls Linda and tells her to turn on the tv.
Linda: Candace, this is a dandruff commercial. Is there something you're trying to tell me?
The teens laughed at the bad timing.
Cuts immediately to the race track; the race is about to start.
Rick: And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp!
That got everyone’s attention. They were all wondering what the scientist was planning this time.
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. I'm glad you're here. Actually, I was just getting ready to serve some PLATYPUS UNDER GLASS! (he traps him) You're just in time to witness my latest invention... my Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating the tires of the Jefferson County Motor Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone wants anything inflated, they will have to talk to me.
“Say, that’s not a bad idea,” Stan said. “Soos, right that down!”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Pines!”
“Thank you! Finally! It’s nice to have someone actually appreciate my schemes,” he said, giving Perry a glare that made the agent roll his eyes.
(Scene shifts to the race track)
Candace: Phineas, you are in big trouble, mister--!
(Cars zoom past her, leaving her burnt.)
Sprig, Polly, and King laughed while the others winced in sympathy.
“That’s rough,” Anne noted.
Jeremy: Candace, you got a little...
Photographer: (takes picture) Smile! Souvenir picture? Only a dollar.
(Candace looks at her picture. She is burnt and Jeremy is staring confused.)
Candace: AAH! (shakes herself clean) Wait a second.
(Grabs camera, runs off)
“Don’t you have a phone? Why didn’t you take a picture with it instead?” Wendy asked.
Candace’s eyes widened and she facepalmed.
Candace: (Takes a picture of Phineas driving) Ee-ee-ee-ee... now, I gotcha!
Photographer: (Snatches picture) Hey, Missy. Two pictures, two bucks.
Candace: Oh, yeah, uh, I've only got a dollar, but uh, I just want the one. You can just tear the other one up, 'kay?
(The photographer rips one picture.)
“You grabbed the wrong picture, didn’t you?” Dipper asked.
The redhead was silent.
Candace: (rides out on bike) I've got 'em, NOW! Heeheehee.
“I should’ve just stayed and had fun with you,” Candace groaned into her boyfriend’s shoulder.
“It’s okay. We got plenty of that later.”
Phineas asks Ferb if they can speed up. The car suddenly speeds up
Phineas: OH YEAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!
Sprig gasps loudly with wide eyes and hands on his cheeks.
“Anne, I want one.”
“Sprig, no.”
“Please?”
“Anne’s right, Sprig,” Hopediah chided. “You’re not ready for something like that.”
The young frog pouted.
They bring Phineas in for a pit stop.
Isabella: All right, Fireside Girls, let's move, move, move!
(The girls work on fixing the car)
Isabella: That helmet looks so manly.
Phineas: Thanks.
Isabella’s cheeks turned pink and she started chuckling nervously.
“You alright, Isabella?” Phineas asked, oblivious to why.
“Sure, sure! Totally fine!”
He shrugged.
Wendy, Anne, and Candace shook their heads. Mabel, Luz, and Stan gapped at the boy. Ferb and Perry sighed.
“Kid, I think you need to talk to your brother about girls after this,” Eda whispered to the older sister.
Candace nodded.
Isabella: Hit it, Ferb.
(The car takes off, engine whirring)
“Wow, you girls work fast,” Polly noted. “Do you stuff like this often?”
“All the time,” Holly answered.
The tadpole was practically glowing.
(In the D.E.I blimp)
Doofenshmirtz: (Laughing) Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-colored race car man. How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess?
(Fires laser)
(The ray fires to the race track)
Man #2: I got it!
(The ray hits the beach ball, which starts hissing. The deflating beach ball blinds a car.
Race Car Driver: AAH! (Tires screeching, rams a sign)
Anne’s eyes narrowed at Heinz. That guy could have gotten really hurt.
(Song: "Go, Go, Phineas")
The other groups raised some eyebrows.
“Do people often just break into song in this town?” King questioned.
“Yeah. Why?” Isabella asked.
“You mean this is…normal?” Mabel asked.
“Yes. Yes it is,” Phineas answered, with the others from Danville nodding.
“And you don’t find that in any way weird?” Polly wondered.
“No, not at all. Do people not do that where you’re from?” Doof questioned.
“No,” Dipper responded.
Luz turned to her mentor.
“Eda?”
“Not that I’m aware of. I’ll have to check with Rai…a friend of mine.”
Dipper wrote all this new information down in his journal.
Ferb controls the car and Phineas to expertly avoid all the crashing cars.
Hop Pop sucks in a breath and squeezes his arm rests.
(At the Garcia-Shapiro house...)
Candace arrives and shows Linda the picture, but soon sees that she brought the picture of herself burnt. She screams loud and very long.
Everyone blinked.
“That is one of the loudest noises I’ve heard!” Eda exclaimed.
(Back at the Speedway, in the D.E.I. blimp...)
Doofenshmirtz: Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh?
“Nope. Sorry buddy,” King teased.
While the others laughed at the evil scientist’s misunderstanding, Eda narrowed her eyes.
That settles it. This town is definitely connected to the Demon Realm. Nothing in the Human Realm can make a noise like that.
She eyed Candace and Phineas.
No human has a neck that long either. Or a head in that shape.
Doofenshmirtz: Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-inator ray is fully charged.
(at the mouse in the machine) Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent. And I will give you some cheese. Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere.
Stan’s jaw dropped. He was powering his machine with a rat? And it worked? He had to use nuclear waste to power the portal! Heinz just might be the dumbest smart person on the entire planet.
(Perry pulls out a briefcase filled with cheeses; Grabs stinky cheese and loads it onto a crossbow.)
King giggled gleefully. He loved seeing the little guy take down the tall one. And he had a feeling that Perry was gonna win again.
Perry fires the crossbow. The mouse chases after it and into Doofenshmirtz’s pants.) Hmm? AIEE! HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-AIEEEEEEE!
Candace shuddered while everyone else laughed. This was giving her flashbacks of the squirrels.
Glass breaks from the frequency, setting Perry free and the fight begins.
“Yes! Battle for glory!” King cheered.
“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan added.
The laser fires, Blimp deflating.
Doofenshmirtz:Hmm. I suppose I should've seen that coming.
Polly had to lean on Sprig to stop herself from falling over with laughter.
(Back at the Garcia-Shapiro house...)
Candace: (from inside) But Mom, you've gotta believe me! (cuts to her.) Wait a minute. I bet it's still on TV! (runs off)
Linda: (Flatly) That's good, Candace. Go watch a little TV.
(Candace turns on the TV, the screen shows Phineas winning the race. There is a flash, freeze-frame.)
Dave: And look at this amazing finish.
“You won!” Mabel cheered in amazement.
“What?! No! No! Nooooo!” Stan bemoaned loudly.
“HA!” the OwlLady laughed. “Come on, Pines. A bet’s a bet,” she said smugly, gesturing her hand in a ‘gimme’ motion.
Stan grumbled incoherently as he took off his gold chain necklace and gave it to her.
“I swear, I’ll get that thing back.”
“You can try, but the only way I’m giving this baby up is if you win it in another bet.”
“Then I’ll win it back!”
Candace: (Stammering) Mom, come quick! Come look-look-look-look-look!!
Linda: All right! I'm coming! (stands up)
Candace: Ee-ee-ee-ee...
Then the Blimp crashes into the broadcast tower, making the tv go static. Linda sees nothing and goes back to the card game.
“…Huh,” Wendy said.
Meanwhile Candace’s eyes widened in realization as everything became clear.
“It’s you two!” she said pointing at Doof and Perry in disbelief.
“Us?” Heinz questioned.
“You’re the reason all my brother’s inventions always disappear.”
The others from Danville turned to the pair.
“…Okay, that’s something I did not know.”
“Could it be true? Have your battles been the reason why all our stuff never stays?” Phineas wondered.
“It happened with the Rollercoaster,” Candace reasoned. “And he’s already interfering here.”
“I suggest we keep watching. See if this is indeed the pattern,” Ferb said.
“I’m already taking notes,” Dipper announced.
At the Speedway, Doofenshmirtz steals the car and zooms off.
Phineas: Hmm. Looks like we're walking.
Candace emphatically pointed at the screen.
Candace walks back to the Flynn-Fletcher house and starts mimicking her mother in annoyance. She gasps and looks to see the garage empty. She smiles.
Candace: Gotcha.
“Well, I certainly would be upset if our family vehicle was taken for a joyride without my consent.
Anne and Sprig exchanged terrified looks.
Scene shifts to Perry and Doofenshmirtz fighting in a car wash. Perry’s is winning. Beeping; Explosion, Perry blasts into space on the car.
Yeah! Little guys rule!” King cheered.
“Heck, yeah!” Polly added.
Perry just smiled at the two.
Back with Candace, she takes Linda to the garage, only to see the car’s been washed. Linda thinks the boys did it.
“Again with that timing,” Dipper noted.
Linda: It's beautiful!
(For the rest of the scene, Candace stands completely shocked with her mouth open.)
Linda (cont'd.): I gotta admit, I thought you we're exaggerating a bit, but this is really worth getting excited about!
Phineas: (walking in the background, trophy in hand) Hi, Mom, we're home!
Linda: Hey, boys! I saw what you did today!
Phineas: (Referring to the race) Yeah? How'd you like it?
Linda: (from inside; oblivious) I loved it! (cut to her) Now who wants some snacks?
“Oh, so Mom wasn’t talking about the race,” Phineas pouted.
Candace patted his back. She knew now that it was probably better that Mom didn’t see.
“Back to the stuff about singing,” Anne began. “How long has that been going on?”
“Uh…forever? It’s fun,” Jeremy answered.
“Time for the next one, ladies and gentlemen,” their host said.
Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror
(Scene opens up showing a bird flying, then burns.)
Everyone sucked in a breath at the sight.
“Oh! I remember that heat wave!” Mabel spoke up. A bittersweet smile wormed it’s way onto her face. That was the day she met Mermando.
“Luz, I thought you said you had weather instead of plagues in the Human Realm?” King asked his sister.
“I…I have no explanation for this,’ she said, stunned.
Stanky Dog: This is Stanky Dog comin' to you on the hottest day of the summer! Unless you live at the beach, I say take it easy and do nothin' today. Yup, just find yourself a shady tree, and maybe an aquatic mammal of some sort, and blow the whole day off.
Phineas: Come on, Ferb. If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning DJs win.
“Yeah! Don’t let anyone tell you what you can do, boys!” Eda cheered.
“That’s our plan,” Phineas smiled back. It was nice to meet an adult who shared his philosophy.
The boys tell their mom they’re making a beach in the backyard as she heads out.
“Ooh~, sounds fun,” Mabel commented.
“Do you even have enough room for that?” Dipper questioned.
“You’ll see,” Candace answered happily. This was one of the best days she’d had in the Summer.
Candace: Bye, Mom! Yes! You heard her. We can't bug dad which makes me in charge... by default. (pauses) Carry on.
Phineas: We're gonna need more sand. Hey, where's Perry?
(Perry walks to a mushroom in the backyard and drops down into his lair)
“Perry, how many entrances to your lair are there?” Phineas asked their pet.
The platypus started counting on his fingers before shrugging, not knowing the answer.
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing, leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evils of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it.
Eda, Luz, and King blanched at the ‘evils of black magic’ part.
“Seriously? Ugh!” Luz complained and hugged her arms and legs. “Why are so many people afraid of magic?” spoke quietly. “I’m sorry, Eda.”
Eda patted her head.
“It’s okay kid. This was, what? Eight years ago? I’m sure things have changed since then.”
“I hope so. We’ll ask them about it later.”
“Huh. Those gnome statues are pretty accurate,” Dipper whispered to his sister.
“Yeah, but why is he taking them?” she responded just as quietly. “Is he looking for real ones?
“I don’t know. But an evil guy like him would want an army, and they can be dangerous.”
♪ (Perry)! ♪
There it is again, Eda thought. That just comes out of nowhere. It has to be linked to all the singing.
Contractor: Aren't you a little young to be a landscape contractor?
Phineas: Yes, yes I am.
Isabella walks in with her classic “What'cha doin'?” catchphrase.
“Aw~,” Luz cooed. “That sounds so sweet~.”
The others couldn’t help but agree.
Phineas tells her they’re building a beach, and she asks if she and the other Fireside girls can be lifeguards, since they need to earn their Aquatic-Safety badges.
Phineas: Sure.
“Aquatic-Safety?” Mabel asked with a smirk.
Isabella blushed.
“I know what you’re thinking. But that badge is a real thing. I didn’t make it up just to spend time with him. I saw it as a win-win.”
“Did you girls get them?” Anne questioned.
“We did,” Ginger answered.
“Are there badges for everything?” Polly inquired.
“Pretty much,” Milly shrugged, much to the other girls’ intrigue.
Candace is on the phone with Stacy but goes to check on her brothers. She mocks them at first, thinking the sandbox is the beach. Then they lower the fence to reveal a giant beach.
The other groups weren’t even surprised at this point. But that didn’t mean they were any less surprised.
She’s about to call Linda when her friends Stacy and Jenny show up.
The door opened again and out came Stacy.
“Hi,” Stacy waved, before sitting down next to Candace.
“Sup,” Stan greeted casually.
Jenny: You never told us you had a beach in your backyard!
Stacy: You're going to be the most popular girl in the neighborhood.
Candace: I will?
Stacy: I just saw Jeremy and his buddies with their surfboards.
Candace: Jeremy's here? (Panting, drops phone) Gotta go! (Zips off)
The audience chuckled while Candace had a light blush.
“It’s not like there’s much to be embarrassed about, now that we’re together,” Jeremy said.
“Yeah,” Candace responded, snuggling into his neck.
Perry is disguised as a lawn gnome. He gets sucked down and ends up in a hidden lair of Doofenshmirtz’s.
“Wow. That’s a lot of gnomes,” Anne noted.
Doofenshmirtz: (chuckles) Yes, yes! Just look at the bounty of gnome riches! Oh, this is a strange one. (The lawn gnome punches Doof in the face)
“Solid punch, duck,” Stan complimented.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait, who are you? (Perry takes off his fake beard and gnome hat) ... A platypus? ...
Everyone blinked.
“Seriously? You couldn’t tell it was him?” Stan questioned incredulously.
“Well…there are a lot of platypuses in the Tri-State Area,” he chuckled sheepishly.
“He punched you,” Eda responded flatly.
“Just-Just watch the episode!”
Perry puts on his fedora.
Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! You are mine now! (Presses button, the garage door opens)
The audience began to snicker.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh no, wait, wait, wait. That was the garage door opener. You are mine now! (Presses button, large monitor activates)
The snickers turned into guffaws.
“Okay, I admit, in retrospect this is pretty funny,” Doof said, smiling.
Doofenshmirtz: And that was the TV remote. I've got to start labeling these things. Aha! YOU ARE MINE NOW! (Presses button, the cage falls on top of Perry, laughs maniacally)
“Took him long enough,” Candace whispered to Stacy and Jeremy, eliciting a quiet laugh from each of them.
Doofenshmirtz: Finally, I will rid myself of you! (brings out another control) But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and... (the garage door closes) Hmm, maybe I need to turn the cable on first?
The audience laughed again.
“Been there, man.
(Cuts to the backyard beach.)
Phineas: Let's get this beach party started!
(Song: "If Summer Only Lasts One Day")
Everyone bobbed their heads to the song. Dipper wrote it down in his Journal.
In another section of the beach, we see Candace holding two coconut cocktails, going towards Jeremy.
“Yes! Romance,” Mabel and Luz cheered quietly.
Candace frowned, remembering what happened next.
At that moment, a coconut falls and hits Candace.
“Ooh~” everyone winced in sympathy.
Candace: Oh! (She falls on a crab)
Crowd: How low can you go? How low can you go?
(The crab with Candace on it walks under the limbo, attracting the spectators, wins, and is officially crowned Queen Wahini of the beach! The crowd puts a robe with a Tiki hat on Candace.
Candace beamed. That was a good memory.
“Well, good for you,” Eda smirked at the scene. Maybe this girl would learn to lay back and have fun with her brothers.
Ferb sings "Backyard Beach"
“Dude! You have, like some serious rap skills!” Soos praised Ferb.
The green haired boy nodded in thanks.
“Did you write that yourself?” Anne asked.
He gave a thumbs up.
“Wow.”
Candace: I've never been happier in my entire life!
The Danville group smiled at on screen Candace.
(Cuts to Linda at the spa, she takes cucumber slices off her eyes.)
Linda: Something is very wrong. Not a single call from Candace. (Checks her phone) Not even a text message. Oga, hose me down. I'm going home.
“Uh oh,” Mabel said.
“Wait, so does your mom only assume that everything’s fine when you freak out?” Sprig asked.
“At the time, yes,” Candace answered.
(Cut to Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I think I finally got the right one. Now, Perry the Platypus, (Shines flashlight on him) you will finally understand...my PAIN! (presses remote)
“Ooh! Ooh! This is one of my backstories. Pay attention!” Heinz exclaimed.
Dipper had his pen and journal ready. Anne, Luz, Eda, and Soos leaned forward in their seats.
Perry just rolled his eyes. Though he couldn’t force down the wave of sympathy that washed over him.
Doofenshmirtz explains that when he was child, the government took his family’s lawn gnome, so they made him be the lawn gnome instead. All day, all night.
Everyone’s jaws dropped, appalled by what they had seen.
Stan blinked. His dad had never forced him to be a lawn gnome, but he had kicked him out. So he couldn’t help but pity the scientist.
The others weren’t much better.
“…Weh?” King went.
“Dude…that’s like…really messed up,” Soos said.
“They're your parents! How could they do that to you?!” Hopediah exclaimed.
Dipper hesitated to write this stuff down. That was so wrong in so many ways.
Luz and Anne shared a look.
“So…I think he was telling the truth about him just being petty,’ Luz admitted.
Anne crossed her arms.
“Let’s just wait and see. I know from experiences that appearances can be deceiving,’ she said, sparing a quick look at Stan.
Doofenshmirtz: And since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold, the Destruct-inator! (He pulls a curtain, revealing the giant laser.)
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to use a hammer? Or through them on the ground?” Mabel questioned.
“Allow me to educate you on revenge,” Heinz began. “Sure, I could do that, but using an -inator adds a personal flair. Drama !” he explained, making a fist. “It’s fun.”
Doofenshmirtz: And now, Perry the Platypus, to activate my creation! (pushes a button and opens Perry's trap) NOOOO! (Perry hits him)
“I know it’s only been the third time, but I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of watching you two fight,” King stated gleefully.
Many in the audience couldn’t help but agree.
(Cut to the beach)
Stanky Dog: Surf contest!
Buford: Out of my way, Dinner-bell.
Phineas: Hello, Buford. Perhaps you missed the sign.
Buford: (reads the sign) "No Bullying, No Yodeling"?
Man: (Austrian accent) I don't like this any more than you do.
“You guys have a bully?” Luz inquired with narrowed eyes.
“Buford’s complicated. He’s a bully but he also genuinely likes us,” Phineas explained.
“So…is he your friend?” Anne asked.
“Yeah, but he didn’t really become our friend until a bit later. You’ll see,” Isabella responded.
Stanky Dog is announcing for the surfing contest, and Phineas is pulling off all these amazing tricks and wins.
“Woohoo!” Mabel, Luz, Anne, and Sprig cheered.
“That looks amazing! ” Sprig said, amazed.
“How are you doing that?” Dipper
“Just my knowledge of physics.”
“But some of those moves shouldn’t be possible.”
“Well, anything’s possible if you try hard enough.”
The cap wearing boy recalled the events of his own Summer, and realized that Phineas had a point.
(Cut to Candace and Jeremy and the people dancing.)
Candace: So, are you having fun?
(The music changes with spotlights)
“You’ve got this, Queen!” Mabel cheered at Candace. The teen smiled softly at the encouragement.
“Thanks, Mabel.”
Candace: Eee... (Cell phone rings) just one second. (dreamily, on phone) Hellooooo?
Cut to Linda in the car, she gets shocked by this.
The other groups laughed at that.
Linda: Uh, Candace? Is everything okay?
Cut back to Candace.
Candace: Ohh, everything is just wonderful...
(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked again.)
They all laugh even harder.
Linda: And...Phineas and Ferb? What are they doing?
(Cut back to Candace as Phineas surfs in the background.)
Candace: Ohh, such wonderful things...
(Cut back to Linda, she gets shocked once more.)
Eda and King fell out of their seats, laughing on the floor.
Linda: Candace, honey, I'm coming home.
Candace panics and runs off to stop her.
“Heh heh! That’s pretty ironic, don’t you think?” Soos laughed out.
Underground, the fight resumes.
“Yeah! Take him down!” Eda cheered.
Doofenshmirtz looked around the theater.
“Is anyone gonna cheer for me?”
Silence
“Anyone?”
Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz into a lever, switching it to "Blow" forming a volcano in the middle of the ocean.)
Candace shot up and pointed emphatically at the screen.
“There! Right there! You’re the ones who did that!”
Dipper added it to the count.
Volcano blows up, rapidly shooting out gnomes that have everyone running in terror.
“Well, that’s not the first reason to run from gnomes I can think of,” Dipper mentioned.
“What do you mean?” Heinz asked.
“You’ll see.”
(Cut to Linda)
Linda: Candace, tell me the truth. What is going on here?
Candace explains everything that’s been going on.
“She’s not gonna believe you, is she?” Luz stated more than asked.
“No.”
As the fight continues underground, Perry hits the lever in Doof's face.
“Ha!” Stan laughed and slapped his knee.
As that happens, it switched from Blow to Suck.
Doofenshmirtz: Oof! (The volcano starts sucking down all of the water, splashing down on Perry and Doof.)
“What did I tell you?” Candace asked rhetorically.
No one could refute her.
Candace continues to explain, but now it's like a dramatic story. The water was now completely sucked up. As people are looking down in the hole that was created, Perry climbs up into the surface. Phineas says that the party’s over and everyone leaves satisfied. The gate lifts and closes.
“What happened to all that sand later?” Wendy wondered.
“The neighbors planted new grass over it,” Isabella asked.
Candace and Linda return to see the beach gone.
Candace: Wait, wait, my kingdom...my Jeremy...it was all so beautiful...! (panics, at Phineas and Ferb) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PARADISE?! (pants)
Linda: Candace, honey, I think it's time to get you out of the sun for a little while. (she and Isabella lead Candace away.)
Phineas: I think she had fun.
“Yep. I had fun but then somebody got rid of it,” Candace said, casting a glare at Doof and Perry, who gave her sheepish looks.
Stanky Dog praises Phineas and Ferb on the radio and starts talking about the weather.
Ferb: With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
(Phineas laughs.)
“That beach looked fun. Would you two consider making another?” Mabel asked.
“We don’t really do the same thing twice,” Phineas answered.
Mabel sagged in disappointment.
“Just wait until the end of the day, when you all have your break,” the host said. They cut them off before they could respond. “And now for the next one.”
Flop Starz
On the TV, there is a commercial for auditions at the Googleplex Mall. Candace gets excited and leaves to get ready.
Mabel gasped.
“A singing contest. Fun!”
Candace smiled. It was fun once she started singing with her brothers.
Phineas: That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck with a dead end job. Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.
Linda explains that he’s talking about a one hit wonder.
Linda: Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics...
Anne nodded. She and her friends had their own band and knew how that worked.
(Flashes back to a time when Linda was known as a singer named Lindana. Song: "I’m Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun"
Mabel and Stan’s jaws dropped.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU’RE MOM’S LINDANA!? THE LINDANA!? ”
The Flynn-Fletcher kids nodded their heads with pride.
Dipper rubbed his ears.
“Ow. Mabel, that was right in my ear!”
“Sorry, Dipingsauce. I just can’t believe it!” she squealed.
“You’ve heard of her?” Candace inquired.
“Heard of her? Kid, she may have not been in the game long, but make no mistake, your mom left her mark on the Eighties,” Stan emphasized.
Linda: (voiceover) Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then fade to obscurity. Before they know it, their song ends up as: elevator music. Years later, they have a reunion concert... (Cuts back to her in the dining room upset.) And after that, they never sing again. And no one... remembers them. (stares off into space, but quickly turns back to Phineas and Ferb) Not that I would know anything about that.
“ I remember, ” Mabel said in a low voice with starry eyes.
“Is your mom okay?” Luz asked worriedly. “She looks like she’s pretty depressed there.”
“Don’t worry. Our mom realized that people still remembered her and that did the trick,” Phineas explained, satisfying the afro-latina.
Phineas and Ferb decide to do a one-hit wonder.
“What kind of song is it gonna be?” Anne asked in anticipation.
“Spoilers. Sorry,” Phineas apologized.
(In Candace's room, she and Stacy have a montage on what she’ll wear. It goes from a blue gown, a bikini, a pinafore, torn chords and a hippie t-shirt, street clothing, a goth suit.
“Why do you have so many outfits? Just go with what you’re currently wearing,” Dipper argued.
Candace and Stacy frowned at him.
Mabel immediately covered his mouth.
“Heh heh. He doesn’t mean that, ladies,” she chuckled, a little nervous.
Stacy: Where'd you get that?
Candace wears a Lindana costume from her mom’s closet.
Mabel gasped. The actual outfit!
Stacy: Nah, too retro.
Mabel gaped.
Blasphemy!
Candace tries more other outfits: a construction uniform, indian clothes, cowgirl duds, biking clothes, a sailor suit, a gorilla costume, a spacesuit, a clown costume, and finally ends up with her trademark clothing.
Stacy: Perfect!
“But that’s the-” Dipper began but his sister covered his mouth again.
(They pass by Phineas and Ferb in their bedroom; Phineas is on the floor writing.)
Phineas: "Chika, chika, choo...wah". Meaningless lyrics done. (To Ferb) How's the catchy tune coming along? (Ferb presses a key on the computer keyboard, producing a piano sound in the key of D.)
"Chika, chika, choo, wah,” Anne repeated. “That is catchy.”
Phineas: Hey, where'd Perry go?
In the bathroom, Perry flushes himself in the toilet and then swims over his headquarters.
Many of them cringed at the sight.
“Gross,” Mabel commented, scrunching her nose.
Major Monogram: Oh, good morning Agent P. We just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate. We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
“Construction…toys?” Wendy repeated, skeptical.
“What can you do with construction toys?” Polly asked.
“You’d be surprised,” Heinz responded.
(Perry salutes and leaves with his scooter, and stops at the red light. Linda's car stops beside him, and she glances; then when she realizes it, Perry puts a pair of Groucho glasses on and Linda just shrugs. The green light then appears and he zooms away.)
“That was a close call,” King said.
How did that work, though?” Eda wondered. “I’d never be able to pull that off with just those glasses.”
Perry just shrugged.
♪ (Perry)! ♪
There’s that theme song again. Is it just coming from thin air? Eda thought.
At the mall, Stacy and Candace see that the line is long and Candace begins to panic, saying she can't do this.
Stacy: Oh yes, you can! You're not a quitter; you're a fighter!
Candace: I am?
Stacy: Sure you are! You're a lean, mean, singing machine! (Candace growls and punches the purse as in boxing.) That's it, yeah! Now you're looking like a winner!
Candace looks like a worn out tiger and drools.
“Say, those were some strong hits. Your form’s a bit off, but you could really take a guy down like that,” Stan praised.
Perry nodded in agreement.
“Thanks.”
Jeremy walks by.
Jeremy: Hey, Candace.
Candace: (arranges herself) And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food. Oh! Hi, Jeremy! Are you auditioning too?
The audience chuckled while Candace blushed.
Jeremy: Nah. I came to see this hot new band called PFT. I downloaded their song this morning. It's tight! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band!
“How much you wanna bet that that band is those two boys?” Eda asked the elder Pines.
“What, in one day? Never gonna happen?” Then he grinned. “This ring on my finger that’s totally mine and not one I stole over my gold chain back.”
“Deal.”
“Should we warn him?” Stacy asked.
“Nah,” Candace decided.
Candace: Really? (She walks through the entrance and becomes the 100th contestant.)
Phil: Ladies and gentlemen, this young lady has the honor of singing onstage with PFT. So now, the band you've been waiting for: Phineas and the Ferb-Tones!
(Phineas and Ferb are revealed.)
“No! Not again!” Stan bemoaned.
Eda cheered as he handed her his ring.
“Maybe you should stop making bets with that woman,” Hop Pop suggested.
“You think?”
Candace: Phineas?!
Phineas is excited that it’s Candace.
Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes! I'm Phineas and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song!
The kids from the other groups were leaning forward in their seats, excited for the song about to play.
(Song: "Gitchee Gitchee Goo")
“Wow!” Luz exclaimed.
“I love it!” Anne added
“It’s so catchy!” Mabel praised.
Dipper smiled. It reminded him of BABA a little bit.
Candace: That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom!
Phineas: Okay...tell her what?
Eda palmed her face for two reasons. One, Candace should have just had fun with her brothers. Two, how oblivious is this boy!
Candace just sighed.
The band keeps singing after she leaves.
The audience chuckled a little.
Candace drags Linda from the store, much to her annoyance.
“They’ll probably be gone by then,” Dipper said flatly.
(Backstage...)
Ben Baxter: Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records. Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.
Phineas: Future? Cool. He must be a psychic.
“He’s offering you a record deal,” Stan explained.
“We know. We figured it out,” Isabella responded.
“You guys never told me about this,” Candace said, surprised.
“You’ll see why in a second,” Phineas said.
Candace and Linda arrive at the Stage only to see Marty the Rabbit Boy playing his blender to The Blue Danube Waltz.
Linda: Hon, we're getting you an eye exam. (pulls her away)
Candace: No, no! Wait!
Candace groaned as the others winced in sympathy.
(Agent P is still driving)
♪ Perry! ♪
“Huh. I thought you’d be there by now,” Eda said.
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! ♪
“That’s a different building,” Jeremy noticed.
“For this scheme, yes,” Heinz responded.
Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha, everything is ready! (doorbell rings) Oh, what is it now? (opens the door and saw the disguised Perry) Oh, are you my new temp?
“…He’s so smart but so stupid…” Dipper commented, not believing what he was seeing.
“Hmm. Reminds me of someone else I know,” his sister said, lightly punching his arm.
“Heh heh. Okay, I walked into that one,” he chuckled.
Doofenshmirtz: Well, let me just get you up to speed. I know it's bit of a mess. I'm just putting the finishing touches of my latest maniacal plan. You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire... (holds a magnifying glass on the eastern coast of the U.S.) ...Tri-State Area!
Luz looked at the man skeptically. Gravesfield was in the Tri-State Area, and she’d never heard of this guy taking over it. So he must have given up, changed sides, or flat out failed. Probably all three.
“Oh, so you were trying to become a despotic overlord. I can relate,” King said simply.
“Huh?”
“Spoilers,” the Titan waved off.
(Perry removes the Groucho glasses) Perry the Platypus? You're a temp? Are times that hard?
“How can you think he’s a temp?” Stacy asked through her laughter.
“It was inconvenient timing!” doof defended.
(Candace exits the mall wearing glasses.)
Candace: Ugh! I told Mom I don't need glasses! (takes off glasses) What the-- (A PFT bus drives away.) Uh, No! No! Wait! Uggggg... (Candace stops. She turns around, notices a PFT poster on a building and smiles) MMMMMOOOOM?!? (She runs back inside)
“How’s your mom gonna miss a painting that big?” Sprig asked.
“That's actually a poster, and I guess we’ll find out,” Candace answered.
Doofenshmirtz: Sorry, Perry the Platypus, but you are too late!
He pulls a lever and the building becomes a robot.
The Amphibia group froze, suddenly reminded of the invasion in L.A.
“You guys okay?” Isabella asked after a few moments.
They shook their heads, snapping out of their stupor.
“We’ll be fine,” Hop Pop answered vaguely.
(Candace drags Linda out, wearing a jacket setting off the shoplifting alarm.)
Linda: Candace! I haven't payed for this yet!
Guard: Hey!
“That’s gonna slow you down,” Dipper noted.
(The giant building robot wreaks havoc over Danville.)
Everyone sucked in a breath.
“How many people did you hurt?!” Anne exclaimed.
“No one, actually. Badly. Nobody died if that’s what you’re asking,” Doof defended.
Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me! (Perry removes a metal cover of a storage) Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that!
“Shut it down! Quickly!” Polly shouted.
Perry removes a wire.
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, hey, no fair!
The robot almost steps over the building, but turns around.
The audience sighed in relief.
“Thank goodness you got it to turn around. A lot of people could have died from that,” Anne breathed out.
“Uh, actually…” Phineas began.
(The PFT bus passes by the building after the robot leaves.)
Isabella: (from inside) Wow, what a great painting! (Cuts to her with Phineas and Ferb in the bus.) How did you get permission for that?
Phineas: Oh, they didn't mind. The building's scheduled for demolition.
“…there wasn’t anybody in that building,” he finished. “Pretty much everybody in town was at the Mall.”
“Oh, so that’s why there weren’t casualties.”
The building is demolished.
Candace: Seeeeeee??!! (Linda does not answer. Candace turns and sees the building is gone.) AAAAHHHH!!
Guard: Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.
Linda: (flatly) Yes of course, officer. (follows him)
Candace: AAAAHHHH!!
The Guard then recognizes her as Lindana, saying that he was a huge fan to her surprise.
“What did I tell ya? Left her mark,” Stan said.
Cut back to the robot.
Doofenshmirtz: Very clever, Perry the Platypus. I tried to ignore you, but you forced my hand. (Pushes a button and traps Perry with a bunch of robot arms)
Eda leans over to Stan.
“How much you wanna bet-”
“Not gonna happen,” the man shot her down. He didn’t plan on losing a third time that day.
Doofenshmirtz: And now...I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter. Oh-ho-ho, where are my manners? (Gives Perry his share) Here you go, Perry the Platypus. Care for some pepper? Just say when. (Continues to pour pepper) Anytime.
Everyone had a pretty good idea how this was gonna turn out.
At Huge-O-Records...
Ben: (from inside) Boys, let me start by saying we love your act and we want to be... (cuts to the boardroom) ...in the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones business. And by the way, aren't you a little young to be pop stars?
(Pause)
Phineas: ...No.
“That felt kinda weird. Did anyone else think that was weird,” Anne asked the audience, receiving nods in response.
(Another pause)
Ben: Well, okay then! We are prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.
“You should really read that first,” Stan warned.
“Nah, we did something better,” Phineas said.
Phineas gets angry, saying that they’re strictly a one-hit wonder, and they leave.
“Oh…Yeah, that works too.”
In the elevator, "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" plays as elevator music.
Phineas: Diva tantrum, check. (Pauses, listens to the "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" elevator music.) Elevator music, check. (Ferb checks off "Elevator music".)
“You really took that list to heart,” Stacy
(Cut to the boardroom with the robot approaching.)
Ben: Ah, who needs 'em? We still got this video tape of their performance. We could do live CDs, DVDs, podcasts, heck, we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom! The Phineas and Ferb Show! We could squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one video tape.
The audience glared at him with intense gazes.
“Does anyone here speak spanish?” Luz questioned.
Isabella raised her hand.
“Someone cover her ears.”
Phineas covered them, causing Isabella to sigh dreamily. Luz covered King’s ears and cursed loudly in spanish.
“Ugh! This is so typical of the corporate world,” Wendy said, not impressed.
Candace actually growled.
“I swear if they extorted my little brothers…”
Manager: (screams) That giant robot's coming right at us!
“Oh, you can crush that building,” Polly gave the go ahead.
Doofenshmirtz: (still pouring pepper) Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper. I'm more of a paprika man myself. (Perry blows over the pepper, Dr. D coughs)
“Get him!” many in the audience cheered the platypus on.
Doofenshmirtz: It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan!
The robot sneezes them out, and they crash through the Huge-O-Records building. Taking the tape with them.
“Yes! Thank you, Perry!” Candace exclaimed, and hugged him.
Doofenshmirtz: AAAAHHH! (Perry loosens the tape's film and successfully lands) AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Lands on a soft mattress) Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck! (The mattress folds in half)
The audience laughed.
Doofenshmirtz: Oof! I'm okay! I'm still better than the... (gets stepped over by the robot) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Half of those laughs turned into winces.
Below...
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry. (Perry chatters; a bus pulls up and they get on.) Come on, guys. We still have one thing left to do.
(The bus pulls away to reveal it reads "PFT Reunion Concert".)
“Sweet, a reunion concert,” Soos noticed.
“Reunion? But it hasn’t even been ten minutes,” Polly questioned.
Back at the Mall, Phil announces that the winner is Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender!
Candace sighed.
That could have been me.
Candace moping on a bench; Jeremy walks over, asking why she ran off earlier.
Candace: My brothers. (sighs) They always ruin everything.
“I was wrong. You guys didn’t ruin anything,” she quickly told her brothers.
“It’s okay. Everything worked out,” Phineas said.
Candace smiled and wrapped her arms around her brothers.
Jeremy: Well, you like to sing, right?
Candace: Yeah.
Jeremy: Then you shouldn't let your brothers' fun ruin your good time. You know, if you get a chance to sing, you oughta sing. I gotta go, I'll see you later. (Walks away)
“Awe~, he’s so encouraging,” Mabel gushed.
Candace decides to go to the Reunion Concert and sings with her brothers.
Everyone either snag with them, dance in their seat, or bobbed their heads to the music. Even Stan couldn’t hold back a small smile.
Perry grinned watching his family having fun together.
Candace/Phineas: ♪ Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! ♪
(Crowd cheers)
Candace: That was great! I've been thinking of my brothers all wrong! They're not a nuisance. They're my ticket to-
Phineas cuts her off, announcing that they’re retiring. They walk away as the lights go out, leaving Candace alone in the now closed Mall.
The audience just blinked.
“Heh heh. The timing’s actually pretty funny. Ow!” Soos said, ending with Wendy elbowing him in the ribs.
“That song is still pretty popular around the Tri-State Area. I think I even heard Major Monogram sing it a few times,” Heinz said. Perry nodded in confirmation.
“Do you guys get royalties for it?” Annes asked.
Ferb nodded.
“That’s another way we fund our inventions,” Phineas explained.
Stan couldn’t believe it. These boys couldn’t be any older than 12 and they already had a stable flow of income. Maybe he should have tried to become a one hit wonder.
“And now for the next episode,” their host said.
Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face
(Scene opens up showing a van driving up a hill.)
Phineas asks Buford what the first thing he’s going to do at camp. Buford says he’s gonna take a nerd’s underpants. Baljeet looks nervous.
The door opens again and out walks Baljeet.
“Well, it’s about time! Buford has been driving me crazy !” the newcomer complained as he sat down.
“Wait, why didn’t the silencing spell happen to him?” Dipper asked.
“Well, it’s already clear that Buford is their friend now, so there's no point using it.”
“Why isn’t he here then?” Stacy questioned.
“I think it’s best that he join us during a different episode. Anyways, let’s continue.”
The Fireside Girls are gonna work on their accomplishment patches.
Said girls looked down at the patches on their sashes and beamed in pride. The young ladies from the other groups looked on in interest.
Candace is not excited, saying that their grandparents’ cabin is boring and she hates the outdoors.
“Aw, come on, kid. Connecting with nature is wonderful !” Eda argued.
“Trust me, nature and I did not get along back then,” she grimaced. Then it changed to a smile. “But, yeah. Once I figured things out, it was wonderful!” she responded, thinking back to her time in Africa.
Candace asks if she can do something with her parents instead, who say that they're going to the antiques symposium. This year's keynote address will debate Shellac vs. Lacquer.
The teens grimaced.
“That does sound fun!” Hopediah exclaimed.
“Nah! Stuff like that isn’t fun unless it’s something valuable you can sell,” Stan waved off.
“Or steal!” Eda cheered with her fists in the air.
Those unfamiliar with Eda’s lifestyle sent her strange looks.
Candace: I'll take one of those shirts.
She starts sobbing.
They arrive at the cabin and are greeted by their grandparents. Grandpa Clyde briefly confuses Perry for Phineas.
Sheesh. And I thought I was losing my mind , Stan thought.
Grandpa Clyde: Alright, nature lovers! Time for vittles!
Phineas: (Laughs) "Vittles" is "Grandpa-ese" for "food".
“Grandpa-ese? That’s the perfect name!” Mabel complemented.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
Agent P knocks on the door, and goes down the secret entrance with webs to his lair and comes out with a flower vase.
“Why was there a vase in there?” Wendy questioned.
Perry shrugged.
Major Monogram: Sorry about that, Agent P. We haven't used that tree slide in years. Not since I was at... the Academy. (Sad music) Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P. He's hold up at his evil woodland retreat. You're mission is to find out what he's up to. Please, Agent P. Be careful. (Thinking) The Academy.
Monogram has a flashback about being forced to go to the academy.
“Major Monogram didn’t want to fight evil, growing up?”
Perry shook his head.
“ No wonder he’s so bitter!”
Everyone is having a good time except for Candace, who is lying in the grass with flies in her face.
Candace: Oh, quiet, you pesky bugs! I am trying to tan here!
“Awe, the bugs like you, Candace,” Mabel said.
“You’re just all rainbows and sunshine, aren’t you?”
“Pretty much.”
Phineas calls Candace his favorite camp counselor, and gives her a glass of lemonade.
Candace: What are you doing?
Phineas: Well, as camp director, I'd say I'm "Doing my job".
“Solid comeback,” Wendy nodded in approval.
Grandpa Clyde begins to talk about Bigfoot and sings a song .
Eda and Dipper leaned in from their seats. After everything the boy had seen in Gravity Falls, it wasn’t impossible that Bigfoot could be real. As for Eda, there was a possibility the sasquatch was banished from the Demon Realm.
“Just like giraffes. Bunch of freaks.
Candace: Ugh! Am I the only adult here? Why can't my grandpa act his own age?
Grandma Betty Jo: I think you should act your own age. And have a little fun. There's all sorts of fun a young adult can have here. You just gotta use your imagination.
The kids all nodded in agreement.
Later that night, Perry shows up at Heinz’s woodland retreat.
Doofenshmirtz: (Laughs) Tonight! It all happens tonight! (he sees Perry) Perry the Platypus! How unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean: (Record scratch) Unexpected. What are you doing here? This is my week off.
“Huh?” Anne and Luz blinked.
“Oh, it’s this night,” Doof sighed.
“What happened?” Hop Pop asked.
The scientist crossed his arms.
“You’ll see,” he grumbled.
Perry stares at the dinner table.
Mabel gasped.
“You’re having a romantic dinner date!”
Luz smiled, thinking about her awesome girlfriend. Then she blinked. Did Heinz fall in love and decide to quit being evil? Is that what happened?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, that. (Laughs) Well, uh, well, I suppose you should know I- I've started dating again. I met someone online. I know what you're thinking, but- But we're meeting for the first time, and I'm-- Oh, you gotta go.
“That’s so sweet,” Mabel said.
“Uh, Mabel…” Dipper gestured to Heinz himself and saw that he wasn’t even looking at the screen.
The girl’s eyes widened slightly.
“…Oh.”
♪ ("Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!" Doorbell) ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Oh no, Perry the Platypus! She can't see you! She doesn't know I have a nemesis! Oh, and I- I don't have time to destroy you. Uh, you could be my pet. You think you can act like a mindless animal?
Everyone laughed at the flat look the platypus was giving.
“Yes. Yes he can,” Phineas laughed out.
Door opens.
Doofenshmirtz’s Date: Oh, uh, hello. I'm looking for Strudelcutie4427.
Stan and Eda laughed at the name. He stopped when Mabel elbowed him in the ribs.
“Come on, I think it’s sweet,” Mabel defended. Then she looked back at Henz’s date. “Ooh, she’s pretty.”
She notices Perry and picks him up.
Doofenshmirtz’s Date: Wow, aren't you the cutest little thing? Are you my date for this evening?
The audience blinked.
“She’s kidding, right?” Wendy questioned.
Doofenshmirtz: No, no! (Laughs) Uh, that would be me. I'm Strudelcutie4427. Nice to meet you. Uh, this is my pet platypus. He was just going outside for a nightly walk.
She asks if she can hold him a bit longer, and Doof decides he can stay, much to his discomfort.
Stan was beginning to see where this date went wrong.
Soos chuckled to himself. This was like the time he and Waddles switched bodies and got engaged.
Cut to the campfire.
They’re eating marshmallows and decide to tell scary stories.
“Ooh! I love scary stories!” Polly exclaimed.
“Me too!” King said.
“Me three!” Sprig added.
“It is fun to scare a bunch of kids,” Eda noted.
“I know, right?!” Stan and Doof agreed.
Grandpa Clyde: Okay. Anyone else? Uh, Baljeet?
Baljeet: W-what? Uh, uh, oh. Thank you. (Flashlight switch flips; Wolf howls) Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country, and goes to camp. He, like, has to share a tent with a bully. It's really quite terrifying, actually. Quite terrifying.
The audience was silent.
“…Okay~. That plea for help aside, any other stories?” Sprig asked.
Grandpa Clyde: …Take it away, Phineas.
Phineas: All right, Grandpa. I've got a good one. It's about Bigfoot!
Polly, King, Sprig, Stan, Heinz, Eda, and Dipper listened closely.
(Cut back to the woodland villa)
Doofenshmirtz's date: You are the cutest thing I've ever seen. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
Doofenshmirtz: You know, some people say we look alike.
Doofenshmirtz's date: Uh, I don't think so. (At Perry) Not at all. No, not at all.
“Okay, this is getting really weird. And not in a good way,” Wendy seethed.
“And yet, it is still very funny,” Soos said through his laughter, the kids joining in.
Stan cringed at the sight.
This is the worst bad date I’ve ever seen. And I’ve had plenty.
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, darling, you haven't even touched your cucumber water. I made it especially for you.
Doofenshmirtz's date: You know, Strudelcutie4427 was a lot less needy online.
Doofenshmirtz: (Sighs) I'm going to go get some air.
Doofenshmirtz's date: ...Lot less needy online.
Heinz goes outside and complains about always getting the crazies.
“Always? This has happened before?” Stan inquired.
“It wasn’t platypus that time, but yes. One of my past girlfriends was obsessed with another animal. That’s all I can really say with that silencing thing,” Doofenshmirtz sighed.
“He looks so lonely,” Luz whispered to Anne.
The Thai girl nodded. Even she couldn’t hold back her sympathy.
(Back to the campfire. Wolf howls.
Phineas: And they say that when the moon is full, like it is tonight, Bigfoot will return, and exact his revenge. (Leaves rustling) Huh? What was that noise?
“Awe come on~!” Polly, King, Sprig, Stan, Heinz, Eda, and Dipper groaned.
“We can’t see the story?!” Sprig complained.
“I can tell it to you guys later, if you’d like?” Phineas offered.
“That shall suffice,” King conceded.
Leaves rustle
Phineas: Huh? What was that noise?
Everyone gasps and screams.
Dipper pulled out his journal, ready to write down what they were about to see.
Baljeet: I really should have packed more underpants…
The audience cringed.
“Dude, we did not need to know that,” Wendy complained
The kids continue to scream endlessly in fear and terror at the sight of the Bigfoot figure.
Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Luz, and Heinz screamed.
Doofenshmirtz hears their hollers.)
Doofenshmirtz: (Gasps) That sounded like screaming children! But it's not my birthday.
Polly, King, Stan, Heinz, Eda and laughed. The others sent them bewildered looks.
“What? He has a point,” the tadpole argued.
He falls off the balcony screaming.
“Ha ha! You’re clumsy!” King laughed.
“Don’t you fall into the toilet once a day?” Eda teased, causing the audience to chuckle.
“Eda~!”
Cut back to the campfire. Phineas laughs, explaining that they're just dummies being pulled by Ferb.
Stan slapped his knee with a laugh, Eda joining in.
“That was terrific!”
“Thank you,” Ferb responded.
Stan laughed more then started coughing.
“Worth it.”
“Wait a minute. If Ferb is controlling the dummies, then who’s sitting with you guys?!” Dipper exclaimed.
Wendy’s eyes widened.
Please don’t be a shapeshifter! Please don’t be a shapeshifter! Please don’t be a shapeshifter! the two thought.
“ Relax ,” Isabella placated.
The Ferb sitting with them is revealed to be an inflatable dummy.
Dipper and Wendy sighed in relief.
Buford: That was awesome!
“I never thought I’d agree with a bully,” Anne said.
(Back to the villa, Doofenshmirtz pulls himself up all covered in leaves)
Doofenshmirtz's date thinks he’s Bigfoot and hits him with her purse, causing him to fall. Everyone was laughing except for Heinz and Stan, who winced in sympathy.
Perry leaves.
♪ Agent P! ♪
“Is it your grandparents’ cabin in this Tri-State Area?” Eda asked.
“Yeah, why?” Candace responded.
“Just a thought.”
So it’s not limited to that city.
(Back to the campfire)
Candace starts complaining again, calling Phineas a joke.
The other groups frowned at her while the Danville group smirked. This was gonna be fun.
Phineas: Your screaming might attract a real Bigfoot.
Candace: A real Bigfoot? Oh, give it a rest, Phineas! Everyone knows that there's no such thing as a real- (sees Bigfoot behind her. The monster roars.)
The other groups gasped.
“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.
“Say what?!” Hopediah screamed.
“Bigfoot’s real!” Dipper shouted, excitedly and started writing down everything he could see.
Perry’s eyes widened and gripped his armrests. He didn’t know this happened.
Candace: Oh, fine. What's this one made of? Popsicle sticks and glitter?
Phineas: Uh, no.
(Bigfoot roars)
“Run!” the other groups shouted.
Candace: Huh? GAAAAAH!
Bigfoot grabs her and eats her; making the kids run away.
Forgetting that Candace was right there with them, the other groups screamed in absolute terror.
“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.
There was a small thump noise and they turned to see that Perry was passed out on the ground.
“Perry!” Phineas exclaimed.
The three Flynn-Fletcher siblings hopped out of their seats and rushed right for their pet. He came to once they started lightly shaking him.
“You okay, boy?” Phineas asked.
Perry nodded slowly. Then he hugged Candace tightly, much to her surprise.
“Perry the Platypus, I’ve never seen you faint before,” Heinz said, stunned.
“Never?” Milly questioned.
The scientist shook his head.
“Dang,” Eda said.
“Wait, how are you alive?” King asked the redhead.
“Wait for it…” Candace trailed off as Perry curled up on her lap. She blinked for a moment before petting him softly.
Grandpa Clyde: (Laughs) Looks like we fooled 'em, ma! (Laughs)
Grandma Betty Jo: (Laughs) Did you see the look on their face? (Laughs)
The other groups were silent. The only noise heard was the laughter of the Danville natives.
The Bigfoot is revealed to be a costume worn by the real Grandma Betty Jo, while the one at the campfire is her twin sister Loraine.
Candace: That was so cool!
Grandma Betty Jo: Oh, good one!
“Twins!” Dipper and Mabel exclaimed happily.
“And they’re identical,” Dipper noted.
Stan had a small smile on his face.
“That costume looks so real . Where did your grandparents get it?” Anne inquired.
The Flynn-Fletchers shrugged.
“So, Bigfoot isn't real?” Dipper asked, remembering the notes he was taking.
“He could be,” Phineas answered. “We’ll figure that out next summer.
(Doofenshmirtz falls down and lands on the ground)
Doofenshmirtz: It's not the worst date I've ever had. There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.
The audience sent Doof sympathetic looks. The scientist just sighed. Then he felt a hand patting him on the back and turned to see it was Stan.
“I know the feeling. If I’m being honest, I’ve been divorced once and slapped more times than I can count.”
“You too? I’m divorced. Do you have kids, too?”
“Aside from my great niece and nephew over there? None. You?”
“I have a daughter,” he said proudly.
Doof is wrapped up in the ropes, sees the Bigfoot dummies and runs for it.
The others laughed.
Back at the cabin.
Candace laughs at the kids, saying that only a mature person like her could tell the difference. Then she sees Doof running with the dummies, thinks he’s Bigfoot, screams, and runs inside
“That was you ?!” Candace exclaimed over the laughter filling the room. Then she perked up. “You know what? This actually proves my point! There’s some sort of weird cosmic connection between you and us! Heck, you were even in the same woods on the same day !”
“Calling it a cosmic connection seems scientifically inaccurate, Candace,” Baljeet said. “It could just be a massive coincidence. That’s all that can be really said through the laws of physics.”
“This can’t be a coincidence! It happens too often . Besides, Phineas and Ferb break the laws of physics all the time! And don’t even get me started on Murphy’s Law!”
“…I stand corrected.”
Dipper made a mental note to bring all this up with Ford later.
The other kids look but see nothing.
Baljeet: Oh, I do not believe her one bit. Too much overacting.
Everyone laughed one more time.
“It’s even funnier because that was real,” Stacy said.
Phineas: Hey, Perry. Why are you all covered in lipstick?
(Suspense music, Perry chatters)
Perry could only shrug sheepishly at the looks and laughter he was receiving.
“That should have been me,” Heinz complained.
“Cheer up, pharmacist. Sure, the plata-thingy got the girl’s attention instead of you that night, but she was probably crazy anyways.”
“You do know I’m not a pharmacist, right?”
“You look like one,” he shrugged.
“Next up is the final episode of the Danville group for today. Then we’ll move on to the Gravity Falls adventures,” their host spoke again.
Tree to Get Ready
Candace and Stacy are playing a wrestling video game.
“I remember that game,” Anne said. “It’s a classic.”
“Classic? It’s brand new,” Stacy questioned.
“Wait, when are you from again?” Dipper asked.
“We’re from early 2020,” Polly answered.
“So the next time we all see each other will be in seven years?” Isabella stated more so than asked.
“…Wow. So, some of us will be in our twenties by then,” Jeremy noted.
“Why does that make me feel old?” Wendy questioned.
Linda says that she’s gonna run a few errands and to call if there's any trouble.
Candace: With my brothers, I'd might as well call now.
Cut to Phineas and Ferb with some wood equipment and Ferb wearing overalls.
“Already at work, huh?” Eda smiled.
“Yeah. Summer is only so long. We gotta make the most of every minute,” Phineas responded.
Ferb nodded in agreement.
The witch grinned. These boys were really growing on her.
Phineas: Huh. You're right, Ferb. I guess it would make a sound. Say, where's Perry?
Perry is sitting in his lair.
Major Monogram: There you are, Agent P. It has come to our attention that all pigeons have left the Downtown area. Of course, on the upside, I haven't washed my car in weeks.
“Ha!” Stan laughed. Then he stopped once he realized no one else was laughing.
Major Monogram: (Clears throat) We can, uh, only assume that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is involved. You know your mission.
♪ Perry! ♪
There’s the music again , Eda noted.
“What are you doing with pigeons ?” Luz questioned.
Doofenshmirtz paled. This was that day.
“Uh oh.”
(Cut back to Phineas and Ferb)
Phineas: That about does it.
Isabella: Hey, guys! Whatcha doin'?
Phineas: We remodeled our old tree house. What do you think?
“Wow! That looks so cool !” Sprig exclaimed.
They use tubes to get to the top. They haven’t missed it because they haven’t tested it yet. The boys land on Isabella with a thud and everyone laughs about it.
Hop Pop sighed. He just flat out gave up being afraid of what these kids were doing. No matter what, they always come out perfectly fine.
Phineas: Check out the view. Pretty sweet, huh?
Isabella: No doubt. What's that?
Phineas: Oh, that's just Candace's old tree-house. (Shows old tree-house) She doesn't use it anymore.
Isabella: Well, that's just sad.
“That is sad,” Mabel said glumly.
“It’s not that sad,” Candace responded. “I just outgrew it.”
Phineas: Hey, what if we gave it a makeover?
Isabella: Sure! Something more...well, I don't know...Candace!
Phineas: Yes.
“Makeover!” Mabel cheered.
Dipper shivered.
Candace and Stacy grinned, remembering the changes.
Perry arrives at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. and grapples up to the top of the building, uses suction cups to get in the top room, and sees Vanessa zapping the pigeons with a mind-control device and gets a picture of it.
“Who’s that?” Dipper asked.
“Why daughter, Vanessa.
Then he beamed and looked to the door.
Nothing happened.
“Hey! What gives?!” he shouted to the air.
“Vanessa will be joining us on a later episode.”
“Heinz just crossed his arms and grumbled out “Fine.”
Doofenshmirtz: Very effective, don't you think, Perry the Platypus? (Sips drink, then spits it out upon realizing Perry is here) Perry the Platypus?! (at some pigeons) Get him! Stop him! He's headed for that clearly marked exit!
“They’re not gonna catch him,” Soos said.
Agent P tries to escape, but is caught by the pigeons.
“…Never mind.”
Candace loses to Stacy again.
“Can’t catch a break, can you?” Anne smirked.
“Eh, it’s just a video game. Plus, Stacy’s the best gamer there is,” Candace said.
“Thanks, Candace. But I’m actually not the best. Have any of you ever played Bloodcraft: Overdeath?”
“Wait, are you talking about…” Jeremy began.
“PLATINUMPAZ.”
Many of the teens and kids in the audience shivered.
“Uh, I’ve never played Bloodcraft. Can you all explain who…” Luz asked.
“That player is relentless . They’re more brutal than anyone I’ve ever met,” Isabella stressed.
“A 100 level Deathslayer. I didn’t think that was even possible,” Baljeet added.
“They’ve killed me. They’ve killed me eleven times,” Dipper said quietly.
“Oh man. I’m from 2020, and even I know who that is,” Anne moaned.
“They’re still active in 2020?!” Stacy exclaimed.
Anne nodded.
“I’ll never forget my first encounter with them. My friends and I were teamed up, just killing some monsters and a few other players. We were surrounded but holding our own. Then they came and took out the entire hoard. PLATINUMPAZ cut through us like paper.”
“Wow. sounds like this PLATINUMPAZ sounds like a big deal,” Mabel commented.
“My dear sister…you have no idea…”
Phineas calls them over to see the tree house, and Candace almost calls Linda, but Stacy suggests they check it out.
Candace: Whoa! This is so weird. I can't believe it's my old tree house. Carpets, furniture, entertainment center. I mean, look at all the bells and whistles. Maybe my brothers have been replaced by aliens.
Candace shook her head and hugged her brothers.
“Nah. You guys just know me better than I thought.”
Candace can't believe they did this all for her.
“We’d do anything for you,” Phineas declared, ferb nodding in agreement.
“I know. And I’m sorry I took so long to figure that out.”
Phineas: (On speaker) You may begin bouncing.
Candace: Bounce?
Stacy: (Laughs) Come on! Bounce!
They bounce up the elevator, up some trampolines and land on the lookout with some can phones.
“You guys really went all out on this one,” Luz noted.
The phone rings.
Candace: Hello?
Phineas: What do you think of your new tree house?
Candace: I love it! You thought of everything.
Phineas: It gets better. Try pressing the THF button.
“What does THF mean?” King asked.
“You’ll see,” Isabella answered.
Candace and Stacy were practically bouncing in their seats from giddiness.
Stacy presses a red button, reading "THF". The tree house slowly transforms into a robot.
Stacy: Uh, Phineas? What does THF stand for?
Phineas: TREE HOUSE FIGHT!!!
Stacy: (Laughs) This is so rad!
“Heck yeah!” Polly and King cheered.
“Awesome!
“Children fighting,” Stan and Heinz said at the same time and blinked before sharing a surprised look. “Fight! Fight! Fight!” they cheered together.
“Is this safe?” Hopediah asked.
“They’ll be fine,” Eda waved off with a grinn.
Phineas and Ferb's treehouse transforms as well.
The audience looked on in eager anticipation.
Cut back to D.E. Inc
Doofenshmirtz: You see, Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons. I have conditioned their tiny, little bird brains to do whatever I say, by using my brand new very evil invention called: The Poop-Inator.
“Wait…is your whole plan just to get them to poop on somebody?” Luz asked incredulously.
“…Yes.”
Doofenshmirtz introduces Perry to his daughter Vanessa.
Doofenshmirtz grumbled incoherently. He wanted to see his daughter now .
Doofenshmirtz: Observe! With this, I can implant the target image on their tiny, little brains in a flash!
He zaps the machine at the pigeon, making it lose its feathers.
“Uh, what would that do to a person?” Anne questioned.
“I don’t know. It probably wouldn’t be good,” the scientist admitted.
Doofenshmirtz: It-- It works better from a distance. Anyway, today at Town Hall, they will award the key to the city to My-Goody-Two-Shoes-Brother Roger. Oh, how I loathe him.
“Oh, so this is one of your more petty moments,” Eda noted.
“Pretty much.”
“You have a bad relationship with your sibling?” Mabel asked sadly.
“Yes. I hate him more than anyone,” he admitted.
The siblings in the room shared concerned looks.
Another bad sibling relationship? Stan and Eda thought at the same time.
Vanessa: I like Uncle Roger.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you, Vanessa, but I don't believe I was talking to you. Is your name Perry the Platypus? No, I don't think so.
Vanessa: (Sighs) I so should have gone to summer school.
“She should have gone to summer school. It’s the most wonderful place in the world,” Baljeet sighed.
The kids and teens from the other groups looked at him like he was crazy.
Doofenshmirtz: I will not be attending the ceremony, but my pigeons will be there to rain on his parade! (Laughs) You see, Perry the Platypus, my brother Roger is at the very top of a very long list of people I despise. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, music please.
Vanessa presses a remote which turns on a stereo. Doofenshmirtz puts on a boater hat and begins to sing.
Sings: "My Goodie Two-Shoes Brother"
“…Wow…you two really have issues,” Polly said.
Cut back to the backyard)
Phineas: Tree house fight!
Candace/Stacy: Bring it on, maggots!
Fireside Girls: (As Isabella holds up a Round 1 sign) Aw, yeah, let's go!
The bell rings
“Let’s go!” many in the audience cheered.
Candace and Stacy realize the controls are just like in the video game.
Stacy: Woo-hoo! Let's dance, dweebs!
They wrestle.
“Place your bets! Place your bets!” Stan shouted.
“I thought you’d learned your lesson,” Eda teased.
“I have. And my money’s on those two boys.”
“Well, mine’s on the girls. Whatcha got left to lose?”
Stan pulled out his brass knuckles.
“If I win, I get everything back.”
“I bet it’s a draw,” Mabel said, surprising them both.
“Uh, sweetie, are you sure you want in?”
“Yep,” the brunette responded confidently. “If I win, I get all three of those things. If I lose, I’ll make you both sweaters.”
“Deal!” he said, and immediately shook her hand. Eda raised an eyebrow. “Her sweaters are really comfortable.”
Phineas: Hey, stop leading!
Candace: You stop leading.
They pass through an old man's garden; the old man sees them and assumes it was the Super Grow Plant Food.
The audience chuckled at that.
Candace: Give him the twister! Fight! (Throws Phineas and Ferb in the air) Score!
“Yeah!” the girls cheered.
Phineas: Hit the crash button!
Ferb does so, and they get covered in tires and brace themselves for the crash, and they land by one of the downtown buildings.
“Is this safe for the people around them?” Hop Pop asked worriedly.
“It’ll be fine, Mr. Plantar. No one got hurt,” Phineas explained, easing the frog’s fears.
Candace: YES!
Stacy: Woo! Well done, Candirocks.
Candace: Let's nail 'em!
“Go girls!” the ladies shouted.
“Come on, boys! Get me my stuff back!” Stan cheered.
Phineas: Come on, Ferb. (Dressed as a pirate) The enemy is upon us! Man the cannons!
(Cannon comes out with Ferb wearing a blue hat) FIRE! (Cannon fires)
“Nice costume,” Luz praised.
“Thanks.”
Candace and Stacy start pulling some levers, causing the pink robot's mouth to open and purple water balloons to fire.
Phineas: (He and Ferb are wearing Army outfits) Incoming!
They get hit by the purple water balloons.
“Yeah!” Polly cheered.
“Wait, I don’t get it. How’d you two change so quickly?” Heinz asked.
The yellow robot's mouth opens to reveal water with a lifeboat, an oar and a couple of fish to come out.
“How are you guys storing all that water?” Polly questioned.
“We can explain it to you later, if you’d like?”
“Yes, please!”
Phineas: (wearing knight's armor) Egad, man! It's an end run around the middle! (Ferb's revealed to be wearing a Scottish outfit) Sound retreat!
Ferb salutes and plays the bagpipes.
“Is nobody else gonna ask how they changed clothes that quickly?” Doof inquired.
The others just shrugged.
(Cut to the car wash)
Linda: Hmm. That's funny. I haven't gotten the usual call from Candace.
She takes out her phone out and calls her.
Candace made a mental note to call Mom when they were having a good time.
(Cut back to downtown)
Phineas: Come and get me! (Sticks its bottom out releasing a horse and runs
Linda calls Candace and tells her that she’s coming home, much to her dismay.
“You should have fun with your brothers more often,” Eda said.
Candace nodded.
Phineas: Phineas and Ferb to Robo-Girls; (he and Ferb are wearing chicken costumes) Last one home is a big old purple pickled egg!
Ferb: (Imitates chicken clucking noise)
Cut back to D.E. Inc
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, the award ceremony. And there's my insipid brother Roger. (the tower viewer goes out and Doof has to put in another coin.
Doofenshmirtz: Now, what was I saying-- Oh! I despise him so much. You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus, brought on by my own mindless jealously. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, fire the harpoon! (Vanessa shoots the harpoon) Perfect. The time has come! Do not fail me, my pigeons!
The pigeons walk out on the rope in a line
Luz and Anne did their best to hold down the contents of their stomachs.
Roger: Ladies and Gentlemen, as the most handsome and charming man in all the Tri-State Area, I hereby promise to keep our city clean.
“Well, he’s pretty egotistical,” Dipper commented.
“And that’s part of why I hate him.”
Doofenshmirtz: Pay attention and learn something, Perry the Platypu-- Wait, wait! Where's Perry the Platypus?
Doofenshmirtz: He's escaping, WITH THE POOP-INATOR!
“You didn’t,” Wendy said to the platypus.
Perry gave her a sheepish look.
Perry takes out the chip out of the Poop-Inator. He grabs the chip from his fedora, puts it in the Poop-Inator, and then shoots the Poop-Inator at the pigeons, who then fly to Doofenshmirtz.
“You did.”
“That’s not gonna be good,” Stan said.
Eda, King, and Sprig grinned at the screen. They were going to enjoy this.
At the same time, the tree-house robots trip on the rope and start to race there, rolling all the way with Agent P in tow.
“This one wins it, Pines!” Eda exclaimed.
“Come on! Win, dang it! Win!” Stan begged.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Uh oh. (He looked through his binoculars to see the pigeons coming right for him.) This is not going to end well for me, I'm afraid.
“Ah! I can’t watch!” Soos exclaimed and covered his eyes. Then he started peeking through his fingers.
Vanessa: That's what you get for using a bunch of stupid pigeons.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait for me! (runs with her) Hold the door, please.
The door closes on him, and when the other door opens, Doofenshmirtz runs inside.
Polly couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that his daughter straight up left him there.
Doofenshmirtz: Come on, come on, come on, come on!
It’s too late, as the pigeons assault the screaming Doofenshmirtz as the door closes. It’s pretty clear what they do to him in the elevator.
Eda, King, Sprig, and Soos laughed at the scene. The people from Danville, Stan, Hopediah, and Wendy winced in sympathy. The rest were thoroughly repulsed by it.
“Okay, that’s gross,” Dipper said.
“Are you kidding me? It’s hilarious!” Sprig argued.
“His screams make it even more satisfying!” King declared.
Luz began to gag and ran to the corner. Candace, Dipper, Mabel, and Anne soon joined her.
Heinz lost count of how many times he’d crossed his arms and grumbled at this point.
Linda driving home with the tree-house robots rolling the same direction with Perry in tow; immediately the treehouses land in the backyard with Isabella holding the game over sign and the Fireside Girls giving them a score of 60.
“It’s a draw!” the Fireside girls announced.
“Huh?” Eda and Stan said.
While that was happening, Linda pulls in the driveway. They argue over who won the race.
“Everybody wins!” Mabel cheered. Then she turned to her Grunkle and Eda. “Hand it over.”
Dipper, Luz, and King laughed at their stunned faces.
Finally recovering from his shock, Stan chuckled and handed his grandniece his brass knuckles.
“Here you go, sweetie.”
I’ve never been more proud of her in all my life.
Eda snorted and shook her head fondly.
“Well played, kid,” she said, giving Mabel her winnings.
“I will wear this stuff for the rest of the day. Then I’ll give them back to you, Grunkle Stan.”
“Thanks, Mabel,” he grinned.
Linda: Looks like you're having fun.
“We did have fun,” Candace indeed happily.
Phineas: Well, Mom, you know what they say.
Candace and Stacy proceed to shoot a water balloon at Phineas.
“Nice shot!” Sprig praised.
“Thanks!”
Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the tree house.
He gets hit by a water balloon as well.
The audience smiled as the episode ended.
“Okay. So, to recap, your adventures are about building spectacular inventions that end up disappearing every day because of the fights between your pet platypus and an evil scientist?” Dipper questioned.
The Danville group nodded.
“But why, though? Why does it follow that specific formula?” Candace wondered.
“Who can say, Candace? But all in all, I don’t think it really matters,” Phineas responded.
“But it does matter, Phineas,” his sister argued. “You know Mom thinks I’m crazy, right?”
His eyes widened.
“She does?”
“Yes. And I’m sick of it! But why does it have to be that way? Why does Mom never see what you do? Why did I suffer all that humiliation?” she questioned, a tear slipping down her cheek.
The two boys hugged her and she hugged them back.
“Well, looking at it from that perspective, it does matter. And we’ll help you figure it out.”
Ferb nodded in agreement.
“Thank you,” she quietly thanked her little brothers.
“Come to think of it, whatever’s causing this phenomenon is probably causing mine too.”
“Your’s?” Dipper asked.
“I get hurt a lot . Pretty much anything that can go wrong for me usually does. And yet I always survive and am perfectly fine by the next day. I call it Heinz’s Law.”
“There’s Murphy’s Law as well,” Isabella added.
“Wait, I think I remember reading about that one night when I was bored,” Luz began. “It’s where the males in this Murphy family have this effect that causes anything that can go wrong around them to do so. Right?”
“That is correct. There’s also what I’m calling the Phineas and Ferb Effect, which is literally the exact opposite of Murphy’s Law. And the laws of physics have no explanation for these things,” Baljeet said.
I really need to talk to Great Uncle Ford about this! Dipper thought.
“Maybe Candace is right. Maybe it is some kind of big cosmic deal,” King added.
“Well who or what could be making reality act this way?” Polly questioned.
The Gravity Falls crew froze at that moment. There was at least one thing that could.
“We learned a while ago,” Dipper began. “That there are beings so powerful that they can alter reality itself.”
Everyone turned to the boy.
“What?” Isabella questioned. “There are?”
The Gravity Falls crew nodded.
“…How many are there?” Anne inquired.
Dipper hesitated.
“I think that might be a spoiler.”
“Wait, so could one of these beings be responsible for all these weird effects, laws, whatever?” Candace questioned with an intense gaze.
“It’s a possibility.”
Candace was silent for a few minutes. Then she got a determined look.
“I swear, I will find out who’s responsible for this, and they will be so busted !” the Flynn girl vowed.
“That’s my girl,” Jeremy said fondly.
“We’ll help you, sis,” Phineas promised.
Ferb and the others from Danville nodded, promising as well.
“I’m definitely helping, because I’ve got some strong words for whatever cosmic being is making me endure so much pain,” Heinz said.
“Thanks guys,” Candace said.
“Alright everyone. How about you all return to your rooms and take an intermission? Even Caesar needed rest,” they heard the disembodied voice of their host offer.
Everyone nodded and left for their different group rooms.
Lq dq xquhfrjqlcdeoh urrp, wkh pbvwhulrxv krvw vwrrg orrnlqj dw d odujh vfuhhq vkrzlqj wkhlu jxhvwv ohdylqj wkh wkhdwhu.
Ehklqg wkhp zdv d eodfn dqg zklwh fdw.
“Whoo ph djdlq zkb zh’uh grlqj wklv djdlq, rog iulhqg?” wkh Jxdugldq dvnhg.
Wkh krvw wxuqhg wr wkh frvplf ehlqj, klv ergb ehlqj klgghq lq wkh vkdgrzv.
“Doo lq jrrg wlph. Zh vwloo kdyh wzr pruh duulydov wkdw qhhg wr eh khuh.”
“Wkh Darorwo, bhv. Dqg wkh rwkhu?”
“Surihvvru Wlph.”
Wkh fdw wlowhg lwv khdg.
“Zkb lv wkh jurxs iurp Gdqylooh khuh? L xqghuvwdqg wkh suhvhqfh ri wkh rqhv iurp Judylwb Idoov, Dpskleld, dqg wkh Ghprq Uhdop, exw zkb Gdqylooh?”
“Wkhb kdyh pxfk pruh wr gr zlwk wklv wkdq brx fdq lpdjlqh, Jxdugldq. Wkhb frph iurp wkh vdph Hduwk, diwhudoo.”
“Exw wkdw’v qrw wkh rqob uhdvrq,” wkh sudfwlfdo jrg vwdwhg pruh vr wkdq txhvwlrqhg.
“Qr. Lw’v qrw.” Wkh krvw sdxvhg. “Wkhb kdyh pruh hashulhqfh ghdolqj zlwk dsrfdobsvhv wkdq doo ri wkhp frpelqhg. Wkhb’oo eh qhhghg wr idfh wkh rqh wkdw lv wr frph.”
“Wkhuh’v dqrwkhu dsrfdobsvh frplqj wr wkdw Hduwk?”
“Zkhq lv wkhuh qrw?”
“Idlu srlqw.” D wkrxjkw wkhq vwuxfn wkh Jxdugldq. “Li zh’uh lqfoxglqj wkh fkloguhq iurp Gdqylooh, wkhq zkb glgq’w brx dvn ph wr vxpprq Plor Pxuskb dqg klv iulhqgv olnh L glg zlwk doo wkh rwkhuv?”
Wkh krvw vkliwhg wkhlu ihhw.
“Rk…zhoo, xk…”
“Brx irujrw wr lqfoxgh wkhp, glgq’w brx?”
“…Bhv. Exw khb. Wkhb’uh txlfn rq wkhlu ihhw. L’p vxuh wkhb’oo eh deoh wr dgdsw wr wkh vlwxdwlrq hdvlob rqfh wkh rwkhuv whoo wkhp.”
Wkh fdw uroohg lwv hbhv irqgob.
“Zhoo, L grq’w nqrz derxw brx. Exw L’p jrqqd xvh wklv uduh rssruwxqlwb ri halvwhqfh ehlqj iurchq wr jhw vrph orqj ryhugxh uhvw. L’p vwloo 01 bhduv iurp uhwluhphqw.”
Wkh krvw fkxfnohg.
“Brx’uh pruh wkdq zhofrph wr gr vr, rog iulhqg. Pruh wkdq zhofrph.”
Chapter 3: What A Weird Town: Part 1
Notes:
I apologize for the long delay. College took precedence for obvious reasons. There were some new fanfictions that I found and got sucked into reading. And the final reason for my absence...Hazbin Hotel. Enough said.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Danville Room
The guests walked through the door and into the backyard, where they were met with Major Monogram looking sternly at them.
“Agent P, a moment please?”
Perry nodded and followed his boss to the entrance hidden on the side of the house. They slid down and arrived in the spy’s lair.
“Agent P, while normal circumstances would have us erase the minds of everyone here, it looks like our host will be doing that for us,” the Major chuckled. Then he coughed and put on his stern face. “However, I do not fully trust whoever this is. Your mission while we’re here is to find out whatever you can about our host. Also, it looks like there are a few animals in the other groups. See if you can recruit them. Oh, and keep Dr. Doofenshmirtz out of trouble. Monogram out.”
Perry saluted, pulled out his jetpack, and flew out of the lair.
Monogram looked around for a second.
“Huh. I can’t seem to remember where the human exits are.” He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Carl, where are the human exits in Agent P’s lair?”
The intern sighed on the other end.
“ Let me explain it to you again, sir .”
Perry landed in the grass next to his family.
“Jetpacks are the coolest!” Buford cheered.
“Hey, we should all go flying together after we’re done watching today. You in, Perry?” Phineas asked.
The platypus smiled and nodded.
“Awesome!”
Heinz had a small smile at the interaction.
“Dad?”
He turned to see his daughter walking towards him.
“Vanessa! I’m so glad to see you! When does your nametag-” He was cut off by the teen giving him a hug. “…I feel like I missed something.”
“I never knew how bad your childhood was until I saw it. What your dad did to you was horrible . And I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
His expression softened, and the scientist returned the hug.
“Thanks, Pumpkin.”
After a few more moments they broke apart and Heinz looked down at her nametag.
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
S1E15/I Scream, You Scream
“Wait, is that the one where I got covered in ice cream?”
Candace tapped her little brother’s shoulder.
“Hey, Phineas? Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure.” They went into the kitchen so they could be alone.
Then Norm walked past the two and stopped before the Doofenshmirtz’s.
“Hello, Dr. Doofenshmirtz!”
“Norm? Have you been here the whole time?”
“Yes.
“Huh. Okay,” the father and daughter shrugged.
They looked at his nametag.
Norm
S1E25/Greece Lightning
“I don’t know this one,” Doof said, puzzled.
“Probably something the boys did,” Vanessa responded.
“Hey, do you guys think that the singing is actually kinda out of place?” Stacy questioned the group at large.
“Not here, it isn’t,” Baljeet said. “Although the other groups made a valid point.”
“Does that make Danville odd compared to the rest of the world?” Vanessa wondered.
“Not entirely. People sing like we do in Drusselstein as well,” Norm answered.
“Don’t steal my input Norm. But yeah, he’s right.”
Candace and Phineas came back outside, rejoining their separate friend groups. Phineas was smiling but Candace’s eye kept twitching.
“You alright, Candirocks?” Stacy asked her best friend upon seeing her bland look. Jeremy and Vanessa turned to her as well.
“Front yard. Now.” She grabbed them by the arms and dragged them to the front yard. She let them go and took a deep breath. “HE’S NOT EVEN AWARE OF HIS OWN FEELINGS FOR HER!” she shouted.
The three winced from the volume.
“…That bad, huh?” Jeremy inquired.
The redhead groaned.
“He thinks that he’s so close to her because they’re best friends. But I can tell that he likes her…and he doesn’t even know it!”
“Maybe he’ll figure it out while we’re here?” Vanessa suggested.
Candace gave her a flat look.
“On his own? Not gonna happen.”
“He has traveled through time. So who knows?” Jeremy said.
“We could meddle?” Stacy suggested.
Candace perked up.
“Meddle? How?”
Meanwhile, in the backyard…
“Hey, Buford? What episode are you joining us for?” Isabella asked.
“It’s right here on my nametag.”
Buford Van Stomm
S1E19/Voyage to the Bottom of Buford
“Oh yeah~. That’s the day we rescued Biff,” Phineas observed.
“That makes sense,” Baljeet added.
Carl and Major Monogram then walked up to them.
“What about you guys?” Isabella asked.
“Look right here,” Carl said.
Carl the Intern and Major Francis Monogram
S3E32-34/Where’s Perry?
The group tilted their heads.
“Which one is that?” Phineas asked.
“You know, I’m actually not sure. Carl?” Monogram asked.
“Well, sir. If you take into account that it involves us, it can’t just be any regular time they looked for Agent P. What do you think, Agent P?”
The platypus thought about it for a moment. Then he perked up and started writing a response on his notepad.
The adventure in Africa.
“Wait a minute, are you guys the reason Perry somehow ended up in Africa?” Phineas queried.
“Uh…” Carl began.
“Yes! That is exactly what happened!” Francis cut in.
“Sir, what are you doing?” Carl whispered.
“They don’t need to know about that just yet,” he whispered back. The two shared a glance at the children who were now talking animatedly with Perry about the things they could do together, while they were here. “Let’s ease them in. They are kids after all.”
The Gravity Falls Room
Wendy went off to her friends while the others met with Ford.
“Great Uncle Ford, what do you think of all those phenomena we talked about at the end?” Dipper asked.
“Well, Dipper, I’ve studied Murphy’s Law and they’re right. There is no scientific explanation for it.”
“So could Bill be responsible for it?”
The scientist thought for a moment.
“It’s a strong possibility. However, he’s not the only cosmic being that we know of. I’ve read your notes on this Time Baby, and you and Mabel encountered the Axolotl, correct?”
The twins nodded.
“Could it be the Axolotl?” Mabel asked.
“Or Time Baby?” Dipper added.
“Perhaps. Or maybe it’s someone we don’t yet know of.”
“Some of our new friends probably know who this dude is,” Soos suggested.
“While we’re talking about this, did you guys notice that King kinda sounds like…” Mabel began nervously.
“Bill,” Ford nodded.
“But how? I mean, he can’t actually be him. You erased my mind and I punched him into pieces,” Stan argued.
“Hopefully it’s just a coincidence. In the meantime, I think you kids should keep an eye on him.”
“Can do, Grunkle Ford!” Mabel saluted before the two ran off to join Candy and Grenda.
“So, what do you make of the Danville group?” Stan asked his brother.
Ford began to beam in excitement.
“Those boys are brilliant ! I’ve never seen anyone so skilled at such a young age!”
“They really do know how to make some fine thingamajigs!” McGucket praised, walking up to the pair.
“And what about Heinz?” Stan asked.
“He’s uh…well…” Stanford began.
“Smart but also stupid?” Stan finished.
“…Yes.”
“He kinda reminds me of myself a bit. Since I lost my memory, I mean,” Fiddleford admitted.
“Huh. That’s a good way of saying it.”
“But how did he power that ray with a mouse on a wheel?” Stan questioned. “I had to use nuclear waste to power the portal. He clearly knows what he’s doing there.”
“I must admit, I am eager to compare notes with him,” Ford said.
Stan chuckled, Then he looked at the pair’s nametags.
Stanford Pines
S2E11/Not What He Seems
Fiddleford McGucket
S2E7/Society of the Blind Eye
“Say, McGucket? What’s that episode about?”
Fiddleford rubbed the back of his neck.
“Ever wonder how those kids got that memory gun?”
Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were talking with Candy and Grenda.
“Those boys are so cool! And that platypus is so cute!” Candy praised.
“But how is he so smart? He’s basically a person,” Grenada said.
“I think Danville might be another hotspot for weirdness, but different from Gravity Falls,” Dipper answered.
“I wonder what other weird things there are? Aside from the singing,” Candy said.
“I love the singing! It looks so fun!” Mabel cheered.
While the girls started a new conversation, Dipper glanced at the Shack and saw Pacifica sitting on the porch. Alone. With her head resting in her hands, and a frown on her face.
The boy frowned and walked over to her.
“Hey,” the young Pines greeted.
“Hey.”
“Can I sit here?”
The blonde nodded. Dipper sat down next to her. He took a glance at her nametag.
S2E10/Northwest Mansion Mystery
It was a few moments before he spoke up again.
“Are you feeling okay?”
The Northwest hugged her legs.
“I’m all alone here. I’m not friends with any of you, and I’m pretty sure no one wants to be friends with me,” she answered quietly.
“…I do.”
Pacifica perked up.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Pacifica, you saved my life at the mansion, as well as the other guests. You could have left me like that, but you did the right thing and let the townsfolk in. Sure, you still have some things to work out,” he said, eliciting a small nod from her. “But you’re on your way to becoming a better person.”
The blonde blinked before looking away.
“You still don’t know me very well.”
“I’d like to get the chance to.”
There was silence for a few minutes. Then a small smile grew on her face.
“Where do you wanna start?”
“Are you a real blonde?” he questioned, holding a lock of her hair and inspecting it closely.
She lightly slapped his hand.
“Yes, I’m a real blonde!”
The Pines boy chuckled.
The Amphibia Room
“What do you know about this guy, Mr. X?” Anne asked the spy.
She looked at his nametag while he thought it over.
S3E6a/Mr. X
“Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was sentenced to community service at the end of the summer in 2012. Since then he’s kept his record clean. But that animal agency continues to watch him as far as I know.”
“Yeah, what the heck is up with that anyways?” Sasha inquired.
S2E20/True Colors
“I already have several theories,” Marcy began. “Half of which are connected to Amphibia.”
S2E6/Marcy at the Gates
“You think Perry could be from another universe?” Anne asked.
“It’s possible. I don’t know if he could be from Amphibia specifically, or even if it was him. It could have been one of his ancestors.”
A metaphorical lightbulb turned on in Anne’s head.
“Wait a minute…those boys have built a lot of crazy things.”
“I know! It’s absolutely incredible! I can’t even begin to calculate…”
“Hold on, Mar-Mar,” Sasha cut in. “Go on, Anne.”
“If they can build all that with such ease…then maybe they can help with a portal back to Amphibia!”
The other two girls’ eyes widened in shock. A moment passed before all three of them began to scream in joy, holding each other's hands.
“Guys!” Anne called out to the Plantars.
“Grimesey!” Sasha did the same, running towards the toad.
“Olivia! Yunan! I-” Marcy stopped when she glanced out the window to see Andrias sitting by himself outside.
Frowning, the Taiwanese girl walked out and sat next to him.
“Hi Drias.”
“Hello Marcy,” the former King responded quietly.
There was silence for a moment. She glanced at his nametag.
S3E17/All In
“You know, I don’t hate you for what you did.”
“You should. I tried to conquer your home. Kill your friends. I betrayed you. I stabbed you! And you were nothing but kind to me.”
“But you came through in the end,” she argued. “You helped us in our most desperate hour.”
“It’s my fault we were even in it in the first place.”
She shrugged.
“Maybe. But that doesn’t change the fact that you want to be better. Right?”
“…I…I do.”
“Then give yourself a chance. Please?” She placed her hand on his massive arm. “I miss my flipwart buddy.”
“…Okay, Marcy. I’ll try.”
Meanwhile, the others had heard the girls’ idea and were positively beaming.
“Glad you’ll be able to stick around, Lieutenant,” Grime smiled, placing his remaining hand on Sasha’s shoulder.
The blonde just hugged him.
Grime
S2E20/True Colors
“So, what do you guys think of that town?” Anne questioned.
“I think Terri, Jess and Ally would love to meet them,” Mrs. Boonchuy laughed.
“Especially if they really can help with the portal,” her husband added.
Oum and Bee Boonchuy
S3E1/The New Normal
“I can’t believe we won’t have to say goodbye!” Sprig cheered, hugging Anne.
The others smiled.
“That plata-thing is a good fighter,” Grime praised.
“I admit, even I would struggle to battle him. And I am General Yunan! The-” Olivia placed her finger over the general’s mouth, silencing her.
Olivia and Yunan
S3E17/Olivia and Yunan
“We know, dear. We’ve all heard the speech.”
“I haven’t,” Anne said.
“Really?” Yunan asked eagerly.
“Anne, why~?” Sasha groaned.
“I am the great General Yunan…”
You know the rest.
The Owl House Room
“I want to meet those boys,” Alador said, eliciting laughs from his children.
“I’m sure you do, Dad,” Amity said. “But it looks like you're gonna have to wait a while.”
She looked down at his nametag.
S2E14/Reaching Out
Then she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind.
“Hello, Sweetpotato,” Luz greeted sweetly.
“Awe~,” the Blight twins cooed.
The young couple glanced at their nametags.
Edric and Emira Blight
S1E12/Adventures in the Elements
“Is that the day at the knee?” Amity asked.
“I think it is…Wait, Ed, what happened to your casts?”
They looked to see that the Blight brother was now perfectly fine.
“They disappeared while you guys were in the theater. And I’m all better!”
“That’s convenient.”
“Hey, Luz,” the rest of her friends greeted.
“Hey, guys. Whaddya think of those episodes?”
“I had no idea that humans could build all that!” Gus exclaimed.
“It’s like the stuff in Cosmic Frontier come to life!” Hunter added.
Willow smirked at the two.
“Those boys look like they’ll be fun to hang out with. But Phineas is really oblivious.”
“I know, right?!” both Luz and Amity exclaimed.
“She’s being so obvious !” Amity said.
“How can he not tell?!” Luz questioned.
Willow and Gus gave them both flat looks.
“What?”
Gus cast a spell circle and an arrow appeared, pointing at the two of them. Realizing what they meant, the young couple blushed.
“Oh…right.”
Meanwhile…
“There’s a connection between that town and the Demon Realm. I know it, Raine,” Eda argued.
The Bard nodded.
“I’ve been thinking the same thing. You noticed the singing, didn’t you?”
“Bard Magic, right?”
“I think so. This town isn’t far from the portal door, so magic from the Boiling Isles could be leaking in, and their singing could have some correlation with that and the other mysterious stuff there.”
“And no human that I’ve ever seen has heads or a neck like that,” Eda mentioned.
“You think they could be descendants of witches?” Lilith asked.
“It’d make sense. And who’s to say that Evalyn was the only witch to have children with a human.”
Eberwolf spoke in his beast language.
“Hmmm…I don’t know if they could use magic like us. Just because they’re descended from witches doesn’t necessarily mean they have a bile sack,” the Darius responded.
“I’ll look into it when we get to our episodes,” Eda promised.
“And what about their pet?” Camilla wondered. “Platypuses outside of the Tri-State Area aren’t teal, so could his subspecies be from the Demon Realm?”
Eberwolf chattered.
“He says it’s possible,” the abomination witch translated.
On the other side of the living room, two god-like beings were conversing.
“Collector, do you know any cosmic beings that could be responsible for all those…effects?”
“Maybe,” the child shrugged. “But it wasn’t me. I’ve never been to the Human Realm.”
“Could it be uh…the Archivists?” the Titan asked carefully.
They were silent.
“I don’t think so.”
“Anyone you can think of?”
“I did hear some stories about a few guys that could do that, but I can’t remember.”
“Well, please let us know when you do.”
Everyone returned to the theater and got seated.
“Before we begin, since the next three shows have a mystery element, I’ve taken the liberty to place codes in them.” Some of the audience looked intrigued. “Now, we will be watching three episodes. Tourist Trapped, Legend of the Gobblewonker, and Headhunters.” Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. “Let’s get started.”
Tourist Trapped
The screen shows a bright shining sun as birds fly by.
Dipper ( Narrating): Ah, summer break.
A man is grilling burgers while his twin kids are running around beside him. Others sit at a picnic table…
Dipper: A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy.
“Yeah. Summer only lasts so long. Gotta make the most of it,” Phineas said.
The others smiled and nodded in agreement.
The camera stops at the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign.
Dipper: Unless you're me
Mabel and Dipper Pines crash through the "Welcome to Gravity Falls" sign with the Mystery cart, screaming. They are being chased by an unknown monster, which is knocking down the trees.
“What the heck?!” Stan questioned.
“Oh, right. We didn’t tell you about this,” Dipper realized.
“I’m so confused right now,” Isabella said.
“Just keep watching.”
Mabel: (Looks back) It's getting closer!
The monster tries to catch the cart but just falls short. The cart flies off a rock and lands roughly.
“What is it? I can’t see,” Luz queried.
Dipper: My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror?
“Yes,” everyone except the twins said.
The creature of unimaginable horror throws a tree in their path.
Mabel: Look out!
The image freezes with Mabel and Dipper screaming as they run into the screen.
Dipper: Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
“There better be,” Stan told his grandniece and nephew.
The intro plays.
The Gravity Falls crew sucked in a breath at the last part.
Bill, they all thought.
The twins held each other’s hands as the others shivered.
“You guys okay?” Anne asked.
“We’ll be fine,” Wendy said.
“That place looks amazing!” Phineas praised.
“This is in the redwoods, correct?” Baljeet inquired.
“Yeah, dude. And everyday is another adventure,” Soos responded.
“Everyday?” Sprig asked.
“Yes.”
“I wanna go there.”
Dipper: Let's rewind. (Flashback to Dipper and Mabel in their living room at home) It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air.
Their parents take their stuff away, give them bags and put some sunscreen on their noses.
“That was fast,” Eda noted.
“You guys are from California?” Anne asked happily.
“Yeah, Piedmont,” Mabel answered. “Are you?”
“L.A.”
“We’re so close!”
Dipper: (Narrating) They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our great-uncle's place in the woods.
“Oregan, nice.”
Cut to Mabel in the attic hanging up posters.
Mabel: This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters! (Holds up hands, which have gigantic splinters sticking out of them)
“You’re taking that well,” Jeremy said.
Dipper: (Backs up into his bed, which Gompers is on; not narrating) And there's a goat on my bed.
Mabel: Hey, friend. (Holds out her arm, and Gompers chews on her sleeve) Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. (Laughs)
The audience chuckled at that.
Dipper: (Narrating) My sister tended to look on the bright side of things.
Mabel rolls down a hill of grass
Dipper: (Narrating) But I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings.
Stan wearing a mask scares Dipper.
The audience snickered at that.
Dipper: (Narrating) And then there was our Great Uncle Stan. (Stan slaps his knee) That guy.
Stan: (Coughs several times and hits his chest) It was worth it.
“It was,” Stan grinned.
Dipper just rolled his eyes as the others chuckled.
Cut to Stan leading tourists through the Mystery Shack.
Dipper: (Narrating) Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack." The real mystery was why anyone came.
Stan: Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!
Tourists start speaking excitedly, and snap pictures.
“You’re kidding, right?” Heinz asked.
“Nope. Tourists are easy to take money from,” Stan answered.
Doofenshmirtz cupped his chin in thought.
“Hmm…” Then his eyes lit up and he began to write on a pen and paper. “I’ll make millions!”
Perry just rolled his eyes.
Dipper sweeps the wooden floor with a broom while Mabel is looking at stuff.
Dipper: (Narrating) And guess who had to work there. (Not narrating; sighs)
Dipper: (Narrating) It looked like it was gonna be the same, boring routine all summer. Until one fateful day…
The audience leaned forward in their seats.
Dipper and Mabel smiled. This was their first adventure.
Cut to Mabel peeking through Stan-bobbleheads.
Mabel: He's looking at it! He's looking at it!
Switches to a boy looking at Mabel's note.
Boy: Uh.. (Reading note) Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely! (Looks around)
Mabel: I rigged it!
“I like your tenacity, kid,” Eda grinned.
The older girls giggled at the scene.
“That’s one way to get a guy’s attention,” Stacy said.
“You know that’s not gonna work, right?” Polly questioned flatly.
Dipper: (Spraying a jar with water and wiping it; not narrating) Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part.
Mabel: What? (Blows raspberry) Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!
“Can’t disagree with you there,” Candace said, snuggling into her boyfriend with him laughing quietly.
Luz silently agreed, remembering her awesome girlfriend. God she couldn’t wait for amity to be out here with her.
Dipper: Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?
“You’re exaggerating, right?” Anne questioned the male twin.
Dipper shook his head.
“Just watch the screen.”
Flashback to Mabel with a boy near a greeting card display.
Mabel: My name is Mabel, but you can call me "The girl of your dreams." I'M JOKING! (Shoves him into the display) Ha ha ha ha ha!
“Oof! That’s ruff,” Sprig winced.
Mabel chuckled sheepishly, a blush slowly making its may on her face.
Cut to another Flashback to an older looking boy holding a turtle on a bench.
Mabel: (Jumps up behind him) Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles too! What is happening here?
“Good conversation starter, but maybe take it a bit slower next time,” Luz commented.
Cut to a Flashback at the Mattress Store where the young teen employee dressed like a king.
Mattress King: Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's kingdom of savings!
Mabel: (Hiding behind a set of colorful balloons; pops out head and whispers) Take me with you…
Mattress King: Ah! (Cowers away from Mabel and drops scepter)
“That was too strong,” Isabella said.
Mabel groaned as she hugged her legs.
Candace frowned and placed her hand on the younger girl’s shoulder.
“Hey, I know what it’s like to be a little obsessed with a boy,” Candace comforted.
“Same here,” Isabella quietly added.
“A little ?” Stacy and the other Fireside girls questioned dryly.
“Stand down, Fireside Girls,” Isabella ordered just as dryly.
“So, maybe we can help each other out?” Candace offered.
Mabel smiled.
“That would be great.”
Back to the present
Mabel: Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now.
Stan walks through the door and burps, but it gets caught in his throat.
Stan: Oh! Oh, not good. Ow.
The audience laughed at the timing.
Stan sent them all a glare.
Stan: All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.
Everyone says “Not it.” Wendy pretends that she can’t reach the signs.
Stan: I'd fire all of you if I could.
“No you wouldn’t. You love us too much,” Wendy teased.
“Shut up,” Stan said.
Stan chooses Dipper.
Dipper: Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched.
Stan: Ugh, this again.
Dipper: I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."
Stan: (Looks at Dipper's arm) That says "BEWARB."
The audience blinked.
“Cool!” Phineas exclaimed.
“You seriously didn’t find that suspicious?” Heinz wondered.
“Says the man who can’t recognize his nemesis without a hat,” the con artist retorted.
“That’s still very suspicious though,” Candace noted with narrowed eyes.
Stan: Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that.
Stan waved his hand to a fat, sweaty man who was laughing at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble.
“Say, boys! How much tourism does Danville get?” Heinz asked Phineas and Ferb.
“Danville gets a lot of traffic from across the Tri-State Area. So a decent number of tourists pass through,” the British boy answered.
“So guys like that, ” he gestured towards the screen. “Pass through Dnville a lot?”
“Pretty much,” Phineas shrugged.
A metaphorical cash register went off in the scientist’s head.
Stan: So quit being so paranoid!
Gives Dipper the signs; Dipper sighs and heads out.
Candace frowned. This situation was pretty close to home.
Cut to a foggy forest with trees getting blown by the wind.
Dipper: Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say.
Dipper puts one sign up on a tree that says "To The Mystery Shack." He starts to hammer a nail on another, but it makes a metallic sound.
“Huh?” several people asked.
“It’s a fake tree,” Luz realized in excitement.
After some more investigating he discovers Journal Number 3.
“Woah~,” all the kids went.
“Is that a six fingered hand?” Eda asked.
“It has a 3 on it. Does that mean there are more?” Sprig questioned.
He flips through pages, seeing many bizarre creatures illustrated in the book.
Dipper: What is all this?
“Eda, are those…?” Luz whispered
“Demons? I don’t know.”
“They could be,” King began. “They look like they’d fall under the three B’s.”
He then stops at a page that says "TRUST NO ONE" and starts reading again.
Dipper: "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it.
Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."
“Creepy,” Anne said.
“You mean creepy cool!” Phineas exclaimed.
“Mysterious…I love it!” Isabella added.
“I've never heard of a scientist like this? Have you, Dr. Doofenshmirtz?” Baljeet asked.
“I’ve been in the scientific community since the early 90’s, and I don’t know of anyone researching Gravity Falls.”
“So that book’s from the 80’s at the earliest?” Luz questioned.
The others turned to Dipper.
“Sorry guys. Spoilers.”
They just groaned.
Dipper: No one you can trust...
Mabel: (Jumps up behind a log) HALLO!
Dipper: AH!
Everyone either laughed or jumped in their seats.
“Ha ha! Good job, pumpkin,” Stan praised, ruffling Mabel’s hair.
Mabel: Whatcha readin', some nerd thing?
Dipper: (Hides journal behind back) Uh, uh, it's nothing!
Mabel: (Imitating Dipper) "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" (Laughs) What? Are you actually not gonna show me?
Dipper: Uhhh... Let's go somewhere private.
“You had me worried for a second,” Mabel said.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel in the living room.
Dipper: It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side. (Shows Mabel a page)
Mabel: Whoa! Shut. Up! (Pushes Dipper)
Dipper: And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared.
“Hmm…” Candace wondered. “Interesting.”
The doorbell rings.
Dipper: Who's that?
Mabel: Well, time to spill the beans.
she knocks over a can of beans on the end table.
Mabel: Boop. Beans.
The audience snorted.
Mabel: This girl's got a date! Woot woot! (Falls backward into the chair, giggling)
“Uh, what?” Polly questioned.
“What happened while you were gone?” Stacy asked incredulously.
Dipper: Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?
Mabel: What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!
She runs out to get the door.
“Wow. Way to go, girl?” Anne praised.
Mabel was silent.
Dipper sits down in the chair and begins to read more about the Journal.
Stan: (Walks in and sees Dipper) What'cha reading there, slick?
Dipper: Oh! (Throws the book under the seat cushion and grabs a magazine) I was just catching up on, uh... (Sees the cover of the magazine) Gold Chain For Old Men Magazine?
Stan: That's a good issue.
The kids laughed while the teens cringed slightly.
“Is that where you got this one?” Mabel asked, holding up the gold chain necklace she was wearing.
“Yup.”
Mabel then pops back into the living room with her boyfriend.
Mabel: Hey, family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!
Norman: 'Sup?
“Okay…” Milly began skeptically.
“There’s definitely something off about him,” Polly said.
Candace’s eyes narrowed.
Dipper is suspicious while Stan is nonchalant.
Mabel: We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. (Feels his arm) Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise…
Mabel blushed as the others chuckled.
“Girl’s got taste, eh?” Eda teased.
“Shut up,” Mabel responded, lightly shoving the older woman.
Dipper: So, what's your name?
Norman: Uh. Normal... MAN!
Mabel: He means Norman.
“He’s lying,” King stated flatly.
Mabel groaned.
How could I have been so oblivious?
Candace’s arms started to shake.
Dipper: Are you bleeding, Norman?
a red liquid dripping down his face.
Norman: It's jam.
“Okay, this is getting creepy,” Eda said.
Perry cupped his chin and narrowed his eyes.
Candace grips the armrests of her seat.
Norman: So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?
Mabel: Oh, oh, my goodness. (Giggles) Don't wait up! (Runs out)
Norman points at Stan and Dipper and runs into the wall several times on his way out.
“He’s a monster, isn’t he,” Sprig stated more so than asked.
“Bust, bust, bust, bust, bust…” Candace kept saying in a daze.
“Candace?” Stacy and Jeremy asked.
“Bust, bust, bust, bust, BUST!”
Suddenly, she ripped the armrests off her seat. Many eyebrows were raised at the sight.
The redhead shook herself out of the daze.
“My busting sense is tingling.”
“We can see that,” Jeremy chuckled.
“…Are we gonna talk about how weirdly strong she is?” Sprig questioned.
Dipper: (Narrating) There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal.
Cuts to Dipper in the attic.
Dipper: (Reading aloud from Journal) Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious... (Gasps)
Seeing from Dipper's point of view in the journal page on The Undead. The picture of the zombie becomes Norman.
Norman: (As the zombie on the journal page) ' Sup.
Dipper: ZOMBIE!
Everyone sucked in a breath. The Danville group shivered. They did not have good memories about zombies.
“Oh my Frog!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
“Holly Titan!” Luz added.
“Hot belgian waffles! Dipper, why didn’t you tell me?!”
“You’ll see.”
Cut to Stan in the bathroom.
Stan: Somebody say "crombie"? What is that, crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind.
The audience was grateful for the momentary relief from the terrifying situation.
“Well, glad to know I wasn’t hearing things,” Stan said.
Dipper looks out the window to see Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms while moaning.
Mabel: I like you.
Dipper: Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!
The audience paled.
Norman: Huh, huh! (Puts hands around Mabel's neck)
Dipper: AHHHHH!
The only ones not shrieking were Dipper and Mabel.
Norman: (Removes arms, revealing flower necklace) Huhhh!
Mabel: (Gasps) Daisies? You scallywag…
They all blinked.
“That’s…not what I was expecting,” Gretchen admitted
“I’m still suspicious,” Candace said.
Dipper: Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?
“Eh? Could be both,” King said. “I think a zombie might be a bit of a leap, but he’s definitely not normal.”
Soos: (Screwing in a lightbulb) It's a dilemma, to be sure. (Dipper gasps) I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' aloud to yourself in this empty room.
There were a few chuckles.
Dipper: Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?
Soos: Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?
Dipper: (Looks down) Zero.
“Good point,” Phineas said a little shakily. “Maybe he’s not a zombie after all.
The other groups sent the boy and his friends concerned looks. Why were the normally upbeat kids so nervous?
Soos: Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf.
Flashback of a hairy mailman walking by Soos, who is eating his lunch outside. Soos scoots away from him, suspicious.
“He might just be hairy,” Wendy argued.
“True. But in Gravity Falls, no one can be too sure,” Soos argued.
Soos: But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock.
“It’s true. I can personally vouch for that statement,” Candace said forlornly.
Her brothers patted her on the back.
“Huh. Guess I should have figured you would,” the Pines boy realized.
Dipper: (Narrating) My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence.
Cut to Dipper filming Mabel and Norman in the park. Mabel throws a Frisbee at Norman, who fails to catch it and falls over. Dipper stops looking through the camera and frowns at Norman.
“You’re gonna need more than that. He may be slow but that doesn’t make him a zombie,” Polly said.
Cut to Norman breaking through a door window to open it from the inside and letting Mabel inside the diner. He stumbles around and crashes, trying to follow Mabel. while Dipper looks out from behind the menu.
“Now, that’s more like it.”
The Danville group exchanged worried glances.
Cut to Mabel and Norman frolicking in a field. But then Norman falls into an open grave, but soon then crawls out, hand first, screaming.
“Yep, that’s pretty zombie-like,” Anne said.
Dipper: (Narrating) I'd seen enough.
Cut to Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel is brushing her hair and Dipper enters.
Dipper: Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman.
Mabel: Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!
She shows her cheek, which has a large red spot on it.
Dipper: Ah!
The audience had the same reaction, causing Mabel to laugh.
Mabel: Ha, ha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!
Flashback to Mabel with a leaf blower. Putting a picture of Norman on the leaf blower's tube.
Mabel: Kissing practice!
“Uh oh,” Anne said.
“This is a bad idea,” King added.
“That’s not gonna end well,” Stacy mentioned.
“Oh, Mabel,” Wendy frowned.
Mabel leans into the leaf blower, but then it sucks in the photo and sticks to her face as well; she then runs around with the leaf blower on her face.
Mabel: AHHH! Turn it off! Turn it off!
The audience winced in sympathy.
Except for Polly. She was laughing.
Cut back to present.
Mabel: That was fun.
Dipper: No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!
He shows her the Journal.
Mabel: (Gasps) You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!
The teens looked at each other and shrugged. Eda blanched.
“What’s a vampire?” Sprig asked.
“They're like a human mosquito,” Anne answered.
“Oh~. Wait, why would she want to date that?”
“I’ll explain later.”
Dipper: Guess again, sister. SHA-BAM! (Holds book open to the Gnomes page)
Mabel recoils in disgust.
Heinz gasped loudly.
“Gnomes are real?!” he exclaimed.
“Uh, yeah,” Dipper answered.
“Huh, so the legends in Drusselstein are true. Then that means…” Then he paled. “Uh oh.”
Dipper: Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry... (Flips to Undead page) Sha-bam!
Mabel: A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper.
Mabel groaned at her past self.
Dipper: I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?
Mabel: Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking?
“That is physically impossible,” Baljeet stated.
Dipper: Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!
Mabel: Well, what about me , huh? Why can't you trust me? (Puts on star earrings) Beep bop!
Dipper: Mabel, (shaking her) he's gonna eat your brain!
“Listen to him!” Candace, Anne, and Luz exclaimed.
Mabel: (Pushes him away) Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be ADORABLE, and he's gonna be DREAMY…
She pushes Dipper out of the room.
Dipper: Bu-bu-but—
Mabel: And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!
She slams the door in his face.
Dipper: (Sighing and sitting down) What am I gonna do?
“Oof. That was hard to watch,” King said.
Mabel sighed.
Cut to the clock, which tells the time at 5:00 the doorbell rings. Mabel pulls on her sweater as she races downstairs.
Mabel: Coming!
She sees Norman at the door.
Mabel: Hey, Norman. How do I look?
Her sweater is covered in glitter.
Norman: Shiny. . .
“Wow. that’s a nice sweater,” Ginger praised.
“Thanks! Do you guys all want ones of your own?” Mabel asked the audience.
Candace shrugged.
“Sure.”
“I’m up for it,” Anne said.
“Yes, please!” Luz added.
Mabel: You always know what to say!
She walks off with him.
Dipper watches the footage he collected
Dipper: Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence.
He fast forwards to Mabel and Norman with his arm around her.
Dipper: I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and— (on the tape, Norman's hand falls off; he glances around, then reattaches it) Wait, WHAT?!
“His hand fell off!” Sprig exclaimed.
“He is a zombie!” Luz screamed.
“He is so busted !” Candace cheered. Then she sucked in a breath. “Oh my gosh! She’s in danger! Go save your sister!”
Dipper rewinds the tape and watches it again, screams, and tips the chair backwards.
Dipper: I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!
Dipper races outside trying to get Stan’s attention. Unfortunately, he’s too busy trying to explain “Rock that looks like a face Rock” to a bunch of tourists.
Stan: For the fifth time! It's-it's not an actual face!
“This is the worst possible time!
Cut to Mabel and Norman in the woods.
Mabel: Finally, we're alone.
Norman: Yes. Alone…
The audience shared uneasy looks.
Cut back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper: Stan! Stan! (Sees Wendy drive up in a golf cart and runs over) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!
Wendy: (Just gives Dipper the key and walks off) Try not to hit any pedestrians.
“You’re a good friend,” Isabella said, the others nodding in agreement.
“Thanks.”
Dipper gets in and starts to drive off, but Soos stops to give him a shovel for the zombies and a bat for the pinata.
Soos: Better safe than sorry!
The Fireside Girls shrugged.
“He makes a fair point,” Holly said.
Cut back to the woods.
Norman: Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's... (exhales) ...there's something I should tell you.
Mabel: Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything! (Thinking) Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!
Luz, Anne, and Stacy couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
Norman: All right, just... just don't freak out, okay? Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!
Norman unzips his coat and throws it off. Underneath it are five gnomes standing on top of each other.
The theater was completely silent.
All the teens, plus Eda, had their jaws dropped. Hop Pop and Stan blinked.
The kids were all laughing though.
“I did not see that coming,” Isabella said, wiping a tear away.
“That’s why it’s so funny!” King rescinded, laughing.
“And here we thought this guy was dangerous,” Polly smirked.
All the color drained from Doofenshmirtz’s face.
“Huh, come to think of it he didn’t look anything like the ones we fought,” Stan whispered to the twins.
Jeff: Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?
Mabel just stares at the gnomes shockingly with her mouth open.
Jeff: R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way.
Mabel: Uh…
The older girls sent Mabel sympathetic looks.
Jeff: I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and... I'm sorry, I always forget your name.
Shmebulock: Shmebulock.
Jeff: (Snaps his fingers) Shmebulock! Yes! Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?
Carson, Steve and Jason: Queen! Queen! Queen!
Heinz gasped.
“Oh no! Get out of there!”
“Why?” Anne questioned.
“You’ll see,” Mabel answered for him.
Jeff: Heh. So what do you say? (Taps Steve with his foot, and the gnomes work together to make "Norman" kneel in a proposing fashion) Will you join us in holy matri-gnomey? Matri...matri- mo -ny! Blah! Can't talk today!
“Matri-gnomey,” Phineas chuckled.
Mabel turns them down.
Jeff: We understand. We'll never forget you, Mabel.
The gnomes look sad and Mabel smiles.
“Well, tha went pretty well,” Luz commented.
Mabel:Because we're gonna kidnap you.
“What?!” practically everyone exclaimed.
Jeff and the gnomes jump at Mabel, who screamed in fright.
Stan stood up from his seat angrily.
“That’s it! He’s dead! I’m gonna eat him for real this time!” the Grunkle promised.
The other groups sent him confused looks.
“…Uh, what?” Phineas questioned.
Dipper drives through the woods, promising that he’ll save Mabel.
“Hurry!”
Dipper arrives to find the gnomes trying to pin down Mabel.
Jeff: The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!
Mabel: (With Steve biting her sweater arm) Let go of me! (Punches Steve off)
Steve bounces around on the ground, then stands upright and starts puking rainbows.
“Huh. That’s interesting,” Stacy noted as the others laughed.
Dipper: What the heck is going on here?!
Mabel: Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! (As a gnome pulls her hair) Hair! Hair! Hair!
Dipper: Gnomes? Huh, I was way off.
Perry chattered.
“What did he say?” Mabel asked.
“He said, ‘Who would have thought?’ or ‘I like grubs a lot’,” the scientist translated.
“Definitely the first one,” Dipper said.
Takes the journal out of his vest and reads the relevant page aloud
Dipper:"Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."
When Dipper lowers the book, he sees that the gnomes have managed to tie Mabel to the ground.
“That was quick,” King observed.
Dipper: (Walks up to Jeff) Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!
Jeff: Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?
Mabel: You guys are butt-faces!
This is Warden Wrath all over again, Eda thought.
“I heard legends about this in Drusselstein,” Heinz gasped out.
“How did they end?” Eda asked.
“Badly.”
Dipper holds up the shovel he brought and points it at Jeff.
Dipper: (Holds up the shovel he brought, pointing it at Jeff) Give her back right now, or else!
Jeff: You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—
Dipper just casually tosses him away with the shovel.
The audience burst into laughter.
“There’s their weakness!” Candace taunted.
Dipper cuts Mabel free with the shovel like a sword slashing down and they escape on the golf cart.
“Get out of there! Quickly!” Heinz warned.
“Come on. How dangerous can they be? Those guys are tiny,” Eda smirked.
“The legends talk about Gnomes’ special defense. And just wait till you see it.”
Jeff: You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE! Various gnomes come out and stack up.
“It’s already happening.”
Mabel: Hurry, before they come after us!
Dipper: I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!
They stop the cart as they hear a stomping sound. A giant stacked gnome appears.
Everyone’s jaws dropped.
“Okay, I can see what you’re talking about,” Eda said.
“And that’s why they protect our gardens in Drusselstein.”
The Gnomes growl.
Mabel: Move, MOVE!
Dipper drives the cart away just as the gnomes smash their arm down and it breaks out of formation, the gnomes quickly get back into place and start giving chase.
Mabel: It's getting closer!
“Looks like we’ve come full circle,” Luz noted.
The Titan Gnome grabs itself and throws several gnomes at the cart, they start to claw, tear, and chew on the roof of the cart. One of the gnomes hangs off from the side of the cart, but Mabel elbow punches a gnome off. Shmebulock jumps up behind Dipper, who grabs him and slams him into the steering wheel out of annoyance and knocks him out of the cart.
“Well, that didn’t take much effort,” Eda said.
“I liked how you kept bashing against the steering wheel. That was funny,” Polly admitted.
“Thanks?” Dipper responded.
Just then another gnome jumps onto Dipper's face and starts clawing at him.
Mabel: I'll save you, Dipper!
Repeatedly punches the gnome off of Dipper's face and the gnome falls off with Dipper's hat.
Dipper: (Dazed from the punches) Thanks, Mabel…
“Sorry, Bro-Bro,” Mabel winced.
“It’s fine.”
The Titan Gnome then picks up a tree and throws it like a javelin at them.
Dipper turns the golf cart so hard that it skids to the sides before it tips over in front of the Mystery Shack.
“Hide while you can!” Milly shouted.
Dipper and Mabel crawl out of the cart in time to see the Titan Gnome approaching. Dipper quickly grabs the shovel and then throws the shovel at the gnome giant, only for it to be pinched down in mid-air.
“Use the bat!” Luz exclaimed.
“I doubt it will make a difference,” Wendy said.
Dipper and Mabel grab onto each other in fright.
Dipper: Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!
Stan and some tourists are distracted by the World’s Most Distracting Object.
“Dude, seriously?!” Anne shouted.
“Hey! In my defense, it’s a very distracting object! Just look at them!” Stan responded, pointing to Sprig, King, Soos and Heinz, who’s eyes were all locked on the trinket.
Jeff: It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!
“That ship has sailed, buddy,” Candace said dryly.
Dipper: There's gotta be a way out of this!
Mabel: I gotta do it.
“What?!” everyone exclaimed.
“Kid, don’t sell yourself like this!” Eda chided.
“Please tell me you didn’t actually marry him?” Jeremy pleaded.
“Don’t worry. I had a plan.”
Dipper asks if she’s crazy but Mabel asks him to trust her.
Perry’s worried gaze softened as he heard those words. He shared a look with Phineas and the two smiled.
Dipper glances at gnomes, then Mabel, and then backs away.
Mabel: All right, Jeff. I'll marry you.
Jeff: Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! (Climbing down to her) Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike. (Approaches Mabel and holds out diamond ring) Eh? Eh?
“Have to admit, it’s a nice ring,” Stacy said. The others sent her flat looks. “What? It is.”
Mabel holds out her hand as Jeff slips the ring onto her finger.
Jeff: Bada-bing, bada-bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!
Mabel: You may now kiss the bride!
Perry cupped his bill curiously. What was she planning?
Jeff: Well, don't mind if I do.
Leans up to kiss Mabel, but Mabel leans out to kiss Jeff, then takes out a leaf blower.
Jeff gets sucked half-way into leaf-blower.
The others cheered at the sight.
“Brilliant!” Candace praised.
“Very clever,” King said.
“You go, girl!” Anne whooped.
The Platypus grinned.
Mabel: That's for lying to me! (Increases the sucking power) THAT'S for breaking my heart!
Jeff: (Slowly getting sucked in further) Ow! My face!
Mabel: And THIS is for messing with my brother! (to Dipper) Wanna do the honors?
The siblings all grinned at the screen.
“Yeah, no one messes with our siblings except us!” King declared, causing the others to laugh.
They blast Jeff towards the gnome monster. The force from launching Jeff at the Giant Gnome made the twins fall back into a pile of leaves, as the giant exploded into separate gnomes.
The audience cheered.
“Excellent shot,” Alyson praised.
Gnome 1: Who's giving orders? I need orders!
Gnome 2: My arms are tired.
While Mabel moves the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away. All of the gnomes run off on all fours; one gets caught in a six-pack holder crying helplessly like a helpless animal or something. Gompers comes in and picks the six-pack holder up, before running off with the gnome still attached.
They all either laughed or winced in sympathy.
“…He’ll be fine,” Mabel said.
Mabel: Hey, Dipper? I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me.
Dipper: Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there.
Mabel: I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.
Dipper: Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire!
“Don’t worry, Mabel. You're young. You’ll meet somebody eventually,” Stacy patted the girl’s back.
“Who knows, maybe you’ve already found your special someone and haven’t even realized it yet,” Luz sighed, picturing her cotton candy haired goddess.
Anne cocked an eyebrow at the witch.
“Yeah, maybe they’ve been in front of you all along and you just need to notice them,” Isabella stressed out, glancing at Phineas.
“What?” he questioned.
“Nothing!” she blushed.
The others shook their heads.
“I’m guessing the talk didn’t work?” Eda whispered to Candace.
The redhead groaned.
“He’s dense even with himself.”
“So you think he likes her back?” Sprig asked.
She snorted.
“With how close they are? Definitely. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
The twins do their Awkward Sibling Hug.
“Awe~. That’s sweet,” Luz cooed.
The two walk into the Mystery Shack.
Stan: Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or something? Ah ha!
Dipper and Mabel walk away, unamused at their Grunkle Stan's joke.
“Anne glared at the man flatly.
Stan: Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?
Dipper asks what the catch is.
Stan: The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something.
“Awe, you do care,” Wendy teased.
“Shut up,” Stan said.
Dipper: (Picks up a blue pine tree hat from one of the shelves and looks in a mirror) Hmm. That oughta do the trick!
“That hat looks good on you, Dipper,” Jeremy said.
“Thanks.”
Then Dipper realized something, and pulled the hat off his head and saw it was the pine tree cap. He and Wendy shared a look and saw that their hats were switched back.
“When did this happen?” the young lumberjack wondered.
“I don’t know. Has it been this way the entire time?”
Mabel: And I will have a... (Grabs item from box, hides it, and twirls around) GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!
Mabel whooped and pulled her grappling hook out.
Perry looked at the girl, intrigued.
Stan and Dipper look at each other as if Mabel was out of her mind.
Stan: Wouldn't you rather have, like, a doll, or something?
Mabel: (Fires the grappling hook up at the ceiling; it catches and pulls her up) GRAPPLING HOOK!
Stan: Fair enough!
Mabel fired her grappling hook at the ceiling and pulled herself up, giggling. The monotreme smiled and fired his own, hanging next to the girl.
“Grappling hooks are the best,” Mabel laughed.
Everyone smiled at the scene as the two climbed back down.
Cut to Mabel and Dipper's bedroom at night. Dipper is writing while Mabel jumps on her bed, laughing.
Dipper: (Writing in Journal while narrating) This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. (Looking at Mabel, who shoots grappling hook, then reels it back with a stuffed animal attached) But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back.
The siblings shared smiles and hugs.
Dipper: Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?
Mabel: I'm on it! (Knocks light out the window with the grappling hook) It works!
The others laughed as Stan glared at the two.
“That money’s coming out of your pay.”
“You don’t pay us,” Dipper countered.
“Then I’ll start.”
“Yay!” the twins cheered.
“In negatives.”
“Aw man!”
Heinz tilted his head.
“That sounds pretty evil.”
“I’m not evil.”
Dipper: (Narrating) Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.
Stan walks into the Shack holding a lantern. He goes into the gift shop and puts a code into the vending machine. The machine opens, and Stan walks inside, looking side-to-side before closing it behind him.
“Are you sure you’re not evil?” Heinz teased.
“I’m not evil! And you all know that I can’t explain anything because of spoilers,” he told the group before they could ask.
Anne narrowed her eyes after sharing a look with Luz and Candace.
I knew there was something wrong about him.
End credits: Steve pukes a rainbow for several seconds.
ZHOFRPH WR JUDYLWB IDOOV.
“The code!” Dipper exclaimed before writing it down.
“So, you knew what those gnomes were going to do?” Polly asked the scientist.
“Yes. Back in Drusselstein, there are folk tales of gnomes taking human girls to be their queen after the old one dies. Sometimes they’d talk about how they’d pile up into a giant gnome to fight predators. It’s why we have statues of them in our gardens,” Doofenshmirtz explained.
“Cool, but what’s with the ‘ward off black magic’ part?” Luz asked.
“Oh, that? That’s just the stereotypical European fear of witches making its presence known. Ridiculous if you ask me. Just because you have magic doesn’t mean your evil. There’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Huh. So there were witches in Drusselstein at one point?”
“That’s what the stories say,” he shrugged.
Luz and Eda shared a glance.
“Do you know who wrote the Journal?” Sprig asked.
“Spoilers,” Dipper responded.
“Aw man,” many of the kids and teens sagged.
“Do you have it with you?” King wondered.
“Uh…no. This one right here is my own,” lifting up his pine tree journal. “I don’t have…”
Suddenly Journal Number 3 landed in his lap.
“Here you go, Dipper. The only pages the other groups will be able to see are the ones shown in the episodes,” their host said.
“Wow~,” the others went upon seeing the Journal.
“Alright everyone, if that’s all then let’s carry on.”
Legend of the Gobblewonker
At the Mystery Shack kitchen with Dipper and Mabel having breakfast.
Dipper and Mabel have a syrup race. The syrup slowly drips down as the twins cheered on.
The audience chuckled at the two.
Mabel taps the bottom of her bottle and the syrup drips onto her tongue.
Mabel: Yes! (Coughs) I won! (Coughs)
“Hey, no fair!” many of the kids chided.
“Eh, it’s fine. We’re twins, so it’s different,” Dipper explained.
“What do you mean?” Anne questioned.
“Well, twins aren’t like other sibling relationships. You know how whenever a younger sibling gets in your face, it annoys you?”
“Yes,” Candace and Stacy answered.
“It’s the exact opposite with twins,” Mabel continued for her brother. “Anything can go wrong between us, or we get in fights, or something bad can happen; but if all that falls away, we will always have each other’s back.”
“We like each other. We’re also so familiar with each other we know the other person will forgive anything. So like, I can do this to Mabel…” Dipper lightly shoved his sister's face, eliciting a giggle from her.
“And I can do just that …” Mabel responds in kind to her brother.
“And we don’t care. It’s just a thing you have when you’re twins.”
The others smiled at the pair.
“You two are so adorable,” Luz gushed.
“More than me?!” King gasped.
“Awe, come here, you!” Luz picked the Titan up and hugged him tightly.
“I regret this!”
Dipper didn't like the fact that Mabel had cheated to win, but was satisfied to see her coughing on the syrup. He then picks up the newspaper and reads it.
Dipper: Ho ho, no way! Hey Mabel, check this out.
Mabel: Human-sized hamster balls? (Gasps) I'm human-sized!
“That sounds fun,” Sprig said.
“Reminds me of that ‘world’s largest bowling ball’ we built,” Phineas added.
“You made a…you know what? I’m not surprised,” Dipper commented.
Dipper: No, no, Mabel. This. (Points to a monster photo contest ad) We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?
Mabel: Nope, just memories. And this beard hair.
She holds up beard hair.
The audience cringed.
“Why would you have that?!” Isabella exclaimed.
Mabel shrugged.
Stan: Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?
Dipper: Um... Happy anniversary?
Mabel: Mazel tov!
They all chuckled.
Stan: (Hits Dipper on the head with a newspaper) It's Family Fun Day, genius! (Walks over to fridge and gets out milk) We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know, (sniffs milk in the refrigerator) bonding-type deals.
The twins ask if it will be like last time.
The scene cuts to a flashback of Dipper and Mabel painting counterfeit money for Stan.
Stan: You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman! (Hears police sirens) Uh-oh.
Back to the present.
Mabel: (Shudders) The county jail was so cold.
Everyone’s eyes widened.
“What the heck man?!” Anne yelled at the con artist with a glare.
“Okay, I’ll admit, not one of my best ideas,” Stan relented.
“Well, at least you got busted for it,” Candace mumbled.
Perry narrowed his eyes on him. What other crimes was this man guilty of?
Eda shrugged. It wasn’t the worst thing she’d done with her kids.
Stan: All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?
“That sentence is a contradiction,” Baljeet stated flatly.
Intro plays.
Cut to a road in the forest. Grunkle Stan is driving his car with Dipper and Mabel blindfolded in the backseat. Stan leans down to adjust the radio and the tires screech.
“Oh my frog!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
“Relax, Plantar. My driving’s fine,” Stan waved off.
“That doesn’t look like safe driving,” Candace countered.
“How many drivers’ licenses do you have,” he retorted.
The redhead was silent.
Dipper: Whoa whoa! (Sighs) Blindfolds never lead to anything good.
Mabel: Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!
Mabel touches around Dipper's face, making him laugh.
The audience smiled.
“He is right about blindfolds, though,” Polly said.
Car suddenly jumps, making the twins fly into the air.
Dipper: Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?
Stan: Ha ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?
Stan drives through a wooden guardrail, making the twins scream in fright.
“ Cataracts?! ” almost everyone screamed.
“We were fine!” Mabel defended her Gruncle.
“If you think this is bad, you should see the Drusselstein driver’s test,” Heinz said.
Perry shivered at the memory. That was the day he wrote his will.
Cut to the lake. Dipper and Mabel, still blindfolded, are standing in front of the parked car, which now has branches and sticks caught in the grill.
Stan: Okay, okay. Open 'em up!
Dipper & Mabel untie their blindfolds to see their Grunkle Stan all geared up for-
Stan: Ta-da! It's fishing season!
“That’s…actually kinda nice,” Luz said.
“I love fishing!” Sprig exclaimed.
“It’s our favorite activity,” Hop Pop added.
“I did not see this coming,” Gretchen admitted.
“What are you playing at?” Candace questioned.
“What? A conman can’t spend sincere time with his family.
Dipper is skeptical of his intentions.
Stan: You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!
Camera pans across the lake showing various townspeople doing different fishing activities.
The people in this town are…interesting,” Anne said.
Stan: That's some quality family bonding!
Dipper: Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna bond with us all of a sudden?
Stan: Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't "like" or "trust" me.
“Gee, I wonder why?” Anne and Candace sarcastically stated. The two blinked before low-fiving.
Mabel: (Quietly, to Dipper) I think he actually wants to fish with us.
Stan slaps hats on Dipper and Mabel
Stan: Pow! Pines family fishing hats! That-that's hand stitching, you know.
The "L" on the "MABEL" hat peels off.
“Awe, you made those yourself,” Wendy teased.
“Yeah, yeah. I can be sentimental when I want, we get it,” Pines waved off.
Stan says they're gonna be there for the next ten hours, with 1001 yuk ‘em jokes, much to their dismay.
Many of the teens blanched at this.
“That sounds fun,” Hopediah said with Sprig, Phineas and Ferb nodding in agreement.
King shivered.
Old Man McGucket comes in screaming that he saw the Gravity Falls Gobblewonker, doing his jig of grave danger!
Luz and Anne blinked.
“Is it just me or does he look familiar?” Noceda asked.
“Yeah…Hey, who is that?” Anne questioned.
“Oh, that Old Man McGucket,” Soos answered.
The two girls’ jaws dropped upon hearing that.
“President McGucket!” they screamed, but were only heard by each other due to the silencing spell.
“What did you two say? Couldn’t hear you over that silencing spell,” Soos said.
Luz and Anne shared a look.
“Uh…nothing important.”
Eda married her eyes at her surrogate daughter.
Tate McGucket: (Comes out and sprays Old Man McGucket with a spray bottle) Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!
“ Dad?! He’s spraying his dad?!”
Cut to the dock.
McGucket: (Points at boat) BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman right here!
He points to Stan.
The audience burst into laughter at Stan’s expense.
The Flynn-Fletchers shared a look.
“Could this Gobblewonker be like Nosy?” PHineas wondered quietly.
“Let’s find out,” Ferb responded.
McGucket: It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!
Sheriff Blubs: Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!
Everyone but the Pines and the ranger point and laughs at Old Man McGucket. While Tate only shook his head in shame.
Candace frowned in sympathy, remembering how people reacted when she saw Nosy.
As Stan unties the boat, Dipper suggests to Mabel that they go after the Gobblewonker.
Dipper: Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!
Cut to Mabel's imagination. She is inside a human sized hamster ball.
“That looks like fun,” Sprig beamed.
“Hmmm…” Phineas hummed.
“You’re already getting ideas, aren’t you?” Candace deadpanned.
“Yes. Yes I am.”
The older redhead just shrugged.
Mabel: (Rolling back and forth) Aha haha haha. (Continues to giggle and crashes through the wall and rolls out onto the street and meets Xyler and Craz) Hey, boys! You can look, but ya can't touch.
The teens and adults gapped at the screen and stared at the girl. Then Eda let out a guffaw.
I like this kid!
“Why are you guys gawking?” Phineas asked.
“Nothing you need to know!” Candace quickly said.
“Sweet Titan, I hope she doesn’t understand what that implies,” Luz pleaded.
Cut back into Reality
Mabel: Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!
They couldn’t help but chuckle at this.
Dipper suggests to Stan that they go after the Gobblewonker.
Dipper & Mabel: (Cheering) Monster hunt! Monster hunt!
McGucket: (Joining the chant) Monster hunt!
Dipper and Mabel stop chanting and stare at McGucket.
McGucket: Monster... Eh... I'll go.
“Poor man. He’s so lonely,” Isabella frowned.
A large honking sound is heard. Soos pulls up in his boat, offering to join them.
Stan: All right, all right, let's think this through. Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!
“You should stay and fish with him,” Sprig said, surprising everyone in the room.
“Really? I figured you’d want to chase that monster,” King responded.
“Usually I would. But I love fishing with my Hop Pop more than adventures.”
The young frog’s grandfather hugged him.
The twins look at Soos in his boat; he does a robot dance. They look back at Stan in his leaky old boat; he sniffs his left armpit. They look at Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. They grin at each other and drive off laughing with Soos in his boat toward Scuttlebutt Island, leaving Stan behind.
The twins looked at their Grunkle with guilt.
“We’re sorry, Grunkle Stan,” they apologized.
“It’s alright, you two made up for it later.”
Cut to S.S. Cool Dude, headed for the island. Dipper stands on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail. He adjusts the visor of his cap and starts acting like a captain.
Mabel: (Holds up beach towel) We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!
Dipper: We're gonna win that photo contest!
Soos: Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?
Dipper: We're gonna... go get sunscreen!
“Ha! But good on you guys for going back for sunscreen,” Stacy said.
The boat does a U-turn away from the island. Underwater, a strange shape swims by.
The audience sucked in a breath.
“So there is a lake monster there,” Phineas observed curiously.
The scene begins with Dipper pacing on the boat in front of Mabel and Soos.
Dipper asks them what the number one problem with most monster hunts is.
Soos: You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie. Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?
The audience blanched at that. They’d all been in situations where survival was not guaranteed. And not all of them managed to last long.
Baljeet, the Fireside Girls and Jeremy shared a look, remembering how they turned into Pharmacist Zombies.
Luz closed her eyes holding back tears.
Oh Flapjack…
Dipper explains that they’ll need a lot of cameras and film.
Dipper: That's why I bought seventeen disposable cameras! (Revealing cameras as he lists off their locations) Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this.
“Wow, way to be prepared,” Candace praised, impressed.
The monotreme gave the boy a thumbs up.
Soos and Mabel accidentally keep throwing them away.
Dipper: Thirteen! All right! We still have thirteen camera- (He accidentally crushes one with his fist) Twelve. We have twelve cameras.
“They’re gonna fail,” Polly bluntly said.
“Polly!” her family chided.
“What? We were all thinking it!”
The twins argue over who should be captain, or co-captain.
Mabel: Aw, whoops. (Tosses a camera into the water)
Dipper: Okay, fine! You can be co-captain.
“Ha ha! Nice one sweety,” Stan ruffled her hair.
“Blackmailing him for co-captaincy. I like your style, kid,” Eda praised with a thumbs up.
Mabel beamed.
Soos: Can I be associate co-captain?
Mabel: As co-captain, I authorize that request.
Dipper: Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this. (Gestures at a barrel of Fish Food)
Soos tastes some and immediately regrets it.
Dipper & Mabel laugh hysterically.
The audience either laughed or cringed.
Stan shook his head.
“Soos…”
“Gross,” Candace wrinkled her nose.
Stan: (Watching them) Traitors! Ah, I'll find my own fishing buddies! (Looks around and sees a couple sitting in a boat up ahead) Ah! (Starts his boat's engine) There's my new pals!
“This isn’t gonna go well,” Wendy said, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
Reginald: (Turned away from , looking at a ring in a box; he takes a breath) Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you.
Rosanna: (Tearing up) Oh, Reginald!
The girls gasped and the boys smiled at the scene.
“Awe, he’s proposing to her on a boat. That’s so romantic,” Phineas gushed. “Wonder what it will be like when we get engaged…”
“You had me at ‘when we get engaged’…” Isabella dreamily said.
“What?”
“Boats! You had me at boats!”
The others did their best to hold in their reactions. The others though…
“This is painful to watch,” King flatly stated.
“How is he so oblivious?” Polly questioned.
Mabel screamed into her hands.
Luz took a big breath to try and calm down her frustration. In the corner of her eye she saw Eda, who looked like she was about to burst a vein.
Then a few feathers grew out of her arms.
“Eda!” Luz whisper-shouted.
The Owl Lady gasped before quickly taking a swig from her potion.
Stan: Hey! (Pulls his boat up to theirs) Wanna hear a joke? Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Her aim is gettin' better! (Pause) Y'see, it's-it's funny because marriage is terrible.
The groups’ jaws dropped. Then they glared at Stan.
Heinz, Eda and King however were rolling on the floor laughing.
“So true,” Doof said, wiping away a tear.
“Tell me about it,” Eda added through her own laughter.
“Thank you!” Stan responded happily.
“I don’t get it,” Phineas said.
“How bad was your marriage that you ended up making that joke?!” Luz exclaimed.
Stan rubbed the back of his neck.
“Well, there’s not much to tell. I bring her up every now and then, I tell jokes, uh you know sometimes comedy comes from a place of pain. You know I was actually married for less than a day. Vegas situation. We reached for the same slaught machine handle and it was love at first sight. Marilyn,” Stan sighed with a smile. “She had hair like an airline stewardess and a pink shirt that said ‘Over 30 and flirty.’ Man, I was-I was putty in her hands. You should have seen the way she threw dice. One time right at my head.” He sighed again as his smile fell and his shoulders sagged. “Turns out she only married me to distract me while she stole my car and all my winnings. And I guess her name was fake, and her hair was fake. But you know the love was real. She was the one that got away. Like literally . She was chased by cop cars for about a mile out of Vegas before ducking out a door and into a canyon, and making off with all my loot. Sometimes I still think of her. That pale bingo hall skin. That one weirdly sharp tooth. Sorry, I’m getting nostalgic. Point is, you know, I had love in my life once and uh and it bit me. You know I think I learned a bit of a lesson from that, which is if you open your heart, and uh blood comes out, and you die. So you know, try not to be a sap like I was.”
The audience couldn’t help but look at the man in sympathy.
“You said ‘you know’ like six times,” Baljeet criticized.
“You’re not helping, man,” Wendy chided.
Luz and Dipper blinked at the description of Marilyn.
“Wait a minute…” she mumbled.
Eda sighed as she finally stopped laughing.
“Did I hear something about Vegas? That place is great! Last time I was there I ‘got hitched’ or whatever you humans call it and stole a car,” the witch beamed proudly.
There was a pin drop silence in the theater. The audience stared at the two adults with gaping mouths. Especially their families.
“Wait, I don’t get it. What’s everyone surprised about?” Doof asked..
“Yeah, you gonna tell us what you’re gawkin’ about?” Stan questioned.
“Aw, who cares?” Eda waved off, not knowing or caring why.
The others stared at the three in disbelief.
Mabel gasped with stars in her eyes.
I have a Grauntie!
Cut to S.S. Cool Dude approaching Scuttlebutt Island. There is fog everywhere. Soos is at the back of the boat shoveling fish food over the side. Dipper and Mabel are at the front. Dipper is trying to see through the fog while Mabel is playing ventriloquist with a pelican, much to Dipper’s annoyance.
There were a few snickers.
They crash into the island and disembark,venturing into the foggy woods. Dipper leads the group while carrying a lantern. They soon come to a large sign nailed to a tree that says "Scuttlebutt Island." Soos and Mabel stop in front of it.
Soos: Dude, check it out. (Covers the "Scuttle" part of the sign) Butt Island.
There were laughs from the kids and groans from Polly.
“That’s the lowest form of comedy,” the pollywog mumbled.
Mabel teases Dipper for being scared. There's a growling noise in the distance.
The adults were looking at the three in slight worry.
Mabel asks Soos if that was his stomach. He says that his stomach usually sounds like whale noises.
Mabel: (Listens to Soos' stomach, which makes whale noises) Wow. So majestic.
Ferb pulls out a stethoscope and listens to Soos’ stomach. He gives the audience a thumbs up after a few moments.
Suddenly, a possum pops out from the fog and grabs the lantern out of Dipper's hand and runs off with it in its mouth.
Soos: Duuude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it.
“Finally! A voice of reason!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
Dipper: Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!
Cut to Dipper's imagination, where he is dressed like Indiana Jones being interviewed on a talk show.
Stan sends Dipper a glare, causing him to chuckle nervously.
“I’m doubling your chores next summer.”
Cut back to real life.
Dipper & Mabel ran off laughing along the way with Soos chasing after them.
Some time has passed as Dipper, Mabel and Soos wander in the foggy forest. To pass the time Soos and Mabel were doing some beatboxing and rapping.
“Not bad,” Anne praised.
“Thanks.”
The growling noise from earlier can be heard; a flock of birds flies overhead, away from the sound.
The kids excitedly march through the fog after the noise.
Walking through the fog, Soos stops the group when he spots a lake monster silhouette. The group ducks behind a log.
The other groups leaned over in anticipation and nervousness.
They all turn on their cameras.
Dipper: Ready? GO!
Soos yells and jumps over the log, holding his camera in front of him as he runs toward the silhouette, snapping photos at random. The twins follow him, but as they get closer, they discover the silhouette was the remains of a wrecked boat with beavers living on it.
The audience sagged in disappointment.
“Eh, beavers are still fun to see,” Wendy relented.
“Hey, their tales look like your’s,” King pointed out to the platypus.
Perry nodded.
“That’s weird,” Polly said.
“Yet cool!” Soos added
Beaver 1: (Subtitled) I love cavorting!
Beaver 2: (Subtitled) That deserves a hug!
Hugs Beaver 1.
The audience just stared.
“Uh, what?” Luz said.
“Are…are all animals sentient?” Anne questioned.
“We did build an animal translator that proved as much,” Phineas responded.
“Of course you did. But I think this might be limited to spots like Gravity Falls and Danville,” Dipper mentioned.
“Wait, does that mean that…” then Mabble gasped loudly and squealed.
I knew Waddles was smart!
Dipper: But... but what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!
The "monster noise" sounds again. It turns out to be a beaver chewing on, and sometimes activating, a rusty old chainsaw. Soos takes pictures of it.
“That’s disappointing, but pretty cool,” Isabella said.
“Is the beaver with a chainsaw supposed to be symbolic?” Luz wondered.
Dipper: Maybe that old guy was crazy after all.
Mabel: He did use the word "scrapdoodle."
Luz and anne still couldn’t believe that that was their President. Did he regain his sanity before his campaign?
Cut to Stan teaching Hank's son how to thread a line. Hank’s wife demands that he go bother his own kids.
The twins hugged Stan as an apology.
Cut back to Scuttlebutt Island.
Soos takes pictures of a beaver posing on a stump.
There were a few chuckles.
Dipper: What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing. (Throws a stone into the lake and sighs. The rock Dipper is sitting on shakes) Hey... guys, do you feel that? (The rock sinks under the water and Dipper swims to shore) Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!
The Gobblewonker's silhouette is seen swimming away.
“It is real!” King exclaimed in excitement.
Dipper takes pictures while Mabel and Soos back away to his confusion. The Gobblewonker Swims back towards the island and begins to rise as the others speak. Dipper doesn’t notice.
“Now’s not the time to get lost in your head! As someone with ADHD, I know what I’m talking about!” Luz screamed.
Dipper chuckled sheepishly.
Dipper aims his camera at Gobblewonker, only to realize it's right in front of him. Roars, causing Dipper to drop his camera as the three run away. The Gobblewonker pushes a tree over which falls and almost hits Dipper and Mabel, but Dipper lunges at Mabel and they roll out of the way. They continue to run and dodge falling trees and eventually catch up with Soos.
The audience looked at the three worriedly.
Soos: Get back to the boat! HURRY! (The Gobblewonker snaps at Mabel who hops onto Soos's back)
Dipper: (Aims camera at Gobblewonker, but trips over a root, stopping the camera) The picture! (Starts to run back for the camera)
“Forget it!” everyone exclaimed.
Open with the group running towards the boat. Soos helps the others on, the climbs in himself. Soos's presence pushes the boat back into the water and he runs towards the helm. Soos throws the remaining cameras at the monster.
“Don’t throw the-ugh!” Candace complained.
The Gobblewonker dives into the water and begins to chase the gang. Soos steers the ship forwards and drives away from it, but the Gobblewonker still goes after them.
Cut to Stan on his boat, struggling to tie a knot
The audience frowned in sympathy.
Eda patted Stan on the back.
“I know how you fell, Pines. I can’t explain right now, but I’m sure you’ll see it by the end of the day.”
Some kids are having a sweet moment with their Pop Pop.
Stan: Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!
Pop Pop: Hey, now! What's the big idea?
Shmipper: Maybe he has no one who wuvs him, Pop Pop.
The audience wheezed painfully.
S.S. Cool Dude drives past him and soaks him. He throws his hat to the ground in frustration, then sits down and sighs.
“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” Soos apologized.
“It’s fine, Soos.”
Back with Dipper, Soos and Mabel being chased by the Gobblewonker.
The boat crashes into the old, broken boat and beavers fly everywhere, biting the boat and the crew.
“Poor beavers,” Luz said.
Beavers are biting Dipper's hat. Mabel shakes a beaver off of her arm, and a beaver lunges at Soos, who stumbles away from the wheel. Mabel takes control on the wheel, steering away from the Gobblewonker. Dipper tries to dislodge a beaver from the side of the boat while Soos runs in circles crying in pain from the beaver still on his face. Dipper throws beavers towards the Gobblewonker who dives and continues to chase them under the water. The S.S. Cool Dude drives through a place with people fishing, who are overturned by the Gobblewonker behind them.
“Those people just wanted to fish,” Hopediah sighed.
Cut to Manly Dan and his sons, Dan headlocking a fish and his sons cheering for him.
Their boat is turned over by a wave from the Gobblewonker. Fish start raining down on them.
Manly Dan: The fishes! They seek revenge! Swim, boys! Swim!
Wendy let out a guffaw at seeing her family like this.
Cut back to the S.S. Cool Dude. The Gobblewonker swipes at the boat and manages to knock the control cabin off.
There was a loud shriek. The audience turned to see it was Heinz. The scientist chuckled sheepishly.
The S.S. Cool Dude crashes through a sheet of glass being transported over the lake.
Mabel: (Sees dead-end ahead) WHERE DO I GO?!
Dipper: (Looks around. Takes out Journals and flips through pages) Um... uh... GO INTO THE FALLS! I think there might be a cave behind there!
Mabel: MIGHT BE?!
The audience screamed the same thing.
They all scream and cover their eyes as the boat goes through the waterfall and into the cave behind. Their boat crashes, sending them into the dirt. They all stand up, and turn around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them and get stuck in the cave entrance.
“It’s stuck!” Anne cheered.
“Get those photos and prove everyone wrong!” Candace added with her own enthusiasm.
Phineas and Ferb didn’t know how to feel. This monster didn’t appear to be anywhere near as friendly as Nosey. So couldn’t exactly support protecting it from the world.
Mabel finds the last camera in Dipper's hat and he starts taking pictures.
“Yes!” everyone cheered.
“Not bad, kids,” Eda praised.
Just then, the Gobblewonker, still roaring, gets hit by a stalagmite. It's head falls down with an electric noise coming out of it.
That caused the other groups to blink.
“Did it just…?” Holly began.
Dipper inspects the beast and realizes it’s metal.
“It’s a robot!” Polly and Baljeet realized.
The gang discovers a handle and turns it, causing steam to come out. They open the trapdoor causing more steam to come out. They discover old man McGucket inside controlling a machine.
The other groups’, plus Wendy and Stan’s, eyes widened in surprise.
“It was him the whole time?!” Stacy exclaimed.
“Huh, I did not see that coming,” Eda admitted.
Why am I surprised? Inventing stuff was how he got elected, Anne thought.
Dipper: Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?
McGucket: Well, I...I, uh...I just wanted attention.
Dipper: I still don't understand.
McGucket: Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brainwave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!
“With his beard? That’s actually pretty impressive,” Gretchen said.
Mabel: Okay, yeah. But why did you do it?
Old man McGucket: Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. (Flashback of McGucket outside his son's window with a baseball and gloves and his son, inside his office, closing his blinds. Real time, narrating) My own son hasn't visited me in months!
“Months?” Luz and Anne questioned. They’d been separated from their parents for months and they would have killed to be reunited with them at the time. And this guy was doing it voluntarily!
“I know he’s crazy and all, but come on man. You don’t do that to your father,” Jeremy chided.
(Flashback moves to McGucket building the Gobblewonker. Real time, narrating) So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut! (Laughs like a maniac and the flashback ends. Sighs) In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family.
Candace looked down and sighed.
“I’m sorry, you guys. I should have spent more time with you,” Candace apologized to her brothers.
“It’s okay, sis. You can do that now,” Phineas responded kindly.
Dipper & Mabel pull out their fishing hats Grunkle Stan gave them and looks at them with a sigh.
Soos: Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you two. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there.
“Oof!” Sprig coughed. “Did anyone else feel that?”
Mabel: So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?
Old man McGucket: No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut! (A projector shows blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor) I made lots of robuts in my day! (Pushes button and projectors shows a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on the town and the word "chaos") Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, (Pushed button again and projectors shows a picture of a man) or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party (Pushed button agains and projector shows another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town and the word "disaster") and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA! (Laughs like a maniac)
The audience gawked at the screen.
“He needs help,” Stacy said.
“I can’t believe our President did all this,” Luz whispered to Anne.
“Me neither,” she whispered back. “I still like him though. You said you were from November, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Does he get re-elected?”
“Pft, duh! It was the biggest landslide in history. Smoothest election the country’s ever seen.”
“Can you imagine having to deal with a messy, exhausting, divisive election?”
“Nope! And I have McGucket to thank for that.”
McGucket: Well, time to get back to work on my death ray! (Ducks into the Gobblewonker and construction noises can be heard from inside. Raises hand in a grabbing motion) Any of you kids got a screwdriver?
“Death ray?” Candace repeated.
Perry decided he was going to talk with Monogram about adding this guy to OWCA’s watchlist.
The twins wonder what to do with their last roll of film.
“You’re gonna take pictures of you guys fishing with your Grunkle, aren’t you?” Sprig stated more than asked.
Cut back to Stan driving back towards the shore. Looking sad and defeated as he let out a sigh of misery. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos rejoin Stan, much to his confusion.
Dipper: Well, we spent all day trying to find a "legendary" dinosaur.
Mabel: But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here.
“Awe~,” Luz cooed.
“Well, I’ll take this dinosaur over a real one any day,” Candace said with a shiver.
Stan: Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection-I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun.
“Busted,” Candace grinned.
“What’s that?” Eda asked.
“It’s a device the police use to monitor your location and sometimes actions,” Dipper explained.
The Owl Lady thought it was a good thing the Emperor’s Coven never had a thing like that.
Dipper: So... I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?
Stan glares at them, only for Dipper and Mabel to put on their new fishing hats on to show their Grunkle that they mean it.
Stan: (Expression softens) You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?
The audience smiled knowing everything was alright now.
Photo montage: The picture of Stan and Mabel smiling and Soos' belly. A picture of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeks and tries to thread a hook. Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laugh. Dipper holding his first fish. Stan posing with his hand in his vest. Stan and Mabel stealing fish from Smabel and her grandfather. Dipper, Mabel, and Stan driving away from the lake police.
There were smiles and a few laughs.
Back to the present, the gang is calmly riding on the waves of the lake when the boat suddenly shakes. Mabel only shrugs in response, but underwater. A disposable camera sinks into the lake, as the real Gobblewonker swims by and eats it.
The audience gasped.
“It was real?! Are you kidding me?!” Dipper exclaimed.
Mabbel patted her brother’s back.
“Don’t worry, Dipper. We’ll solve this mystery when we go back next summer.”
“Why’d it eat that camera though?” King wondered.
The Flynn-Fletchers shared a look.
End credits with Mabel playing ventriloquist with the pelican.
There were a few chuckles from the audience and groans from Dipper.
QHAW ZHHN: UHWXUQ WR EXWW LVODQG.
Dipper quickly wrote down the code.
“So…McGucket…anything you can say about him?” Luz asked.
“Sorry. Spoilers,” Mabel answered.
“Darn.”
“Excuse me, everyone. We will be starting the next episode soon, but one thing first. I’ve realized that none of you have had breakfast yet. So here,” their host said and there was the sound of snapping fingers. Suddenly a full buffet of breakfast food appeared. “Dig in. You can even bring food to your seats.”
The audience immediately walked up to the buffet and grabbed their meals before returning to their seats.
“Very well, then. Let’s carry on.”
Notes:
Sorry that It's only two episodes, 3 and 4 will be in the next one. I have a few questions for you all about certain things in this story going forward.
1: If each/most of the teens/kids got their own palismen, what animal would they be?
2: When should I start the shipping between the Calamity Trio. Not them officially getting together, just when they start dancing around each other like Luz and Amity.
3: How would you feel if some of these characters started cursing. Cause I'm trying to stay true to these characters who haven't really cursed.
4: What are some interactions you're looking forward to? I already have a lot in mind, but I'd like your opinions. Maybe I missed some.
Chapter 4: What A Weird Town: Part 2
Notes:
Glad I finished this chapter today. For now we wrap up Gravity Falls for Day 1.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Headhunters
Dipper and Mabel are watching an episode of Ducktective.
“I remember that show. It was a lot of fun,” Luz smiled.
“Meh, the ending could have been better,” Anne argued.
“Agreed,” Mabel said.
Mabel: ( Drops her sweater and gasps ) That duck is a genius!
Dipper: Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground
Mabel: (Hands on her hips, squinting at Dipper doubtfully) Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?
Dipper: Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating (Sniffs) ...an entire tube of toothpaste?!
The others looked at the girl strangely.
“Heh he, that was fun,” Mabel chuckled.
“You know that can be hazardous, right?” Polly questioned.
“Not bad, Dipper. You know, I can actually track Phineas and Ferb by smell,” Candace said.
“Really? What do they smell like?”
“Motor oil and confidence.”
Dipper smelled the air around the boys.
“Huh. Wow. I didn’t think confidence even had a smell until now.”
The Pines boy wrote that information down in his journal.
Soos shows them a room he found with several wax figures.
Dipper: (Shining a flashlight around) Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!
Mabel: (Poking Wax Sherlock Holmes) They're so life-like.
Dipper: (Shines flashlight and points to Stan) Except for that one.
Stan: Hello!
Dipper, Mabel & Soos Scream in surprise.
Stan: (Chuckles) It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!
Dipper, Mabel & Soos screamed even louder as they run away.
The kids yelped, causing Stan to laugh.
Cue the Theme Song.
Once Dipper, Mabel and Soos had finally calm down, they go back into the secret room as Stan tells them about the Mystery Shack Wax Figure Museum. Until he forgot about it.
Stan: I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, (Looks at a wax figure of Larry King) some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?
“Do you not know who Larry King is?” Luz questioned.
“I’ve been living in Gravity Falls for the past thirty years. We don’t often get channels other than local ones.”
Candace smiled at Sherlock Holmes. She’d read all the books.
Dipper: (Shudders) Is anyone else getting the creeps here?
“A little bit, yeah,” King shivered.
“I like the creepiness. Right, Anne? Anne?” Polly asked.
Anne was completely lost to her. The girl just stared at the wax figures in quiet terror.
This is way too similar to the Curator.
Ignoring Dipper's question, Stan continues listing names.
Stan: And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over- (Looks at the melted glob of wax on the floor, which is under sunlight from the window above it) Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!"
The audience laughed. Dipper and Mabel blanched, realizing that was a legitimate possibility.
Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!
Stan: You really think you can make one of these puppies?
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?
She holds up her arm, which has a glue gun glued to it.
“Has that been there the whole time?” Sprig wondered.
Stan: I like your gumption, kid!
Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!
Jump cut to Dipper drinking his soda as walking towards Mabel.
Mabel: Dipper!
Mabel surprised Dipper too much that he started to choke on his soda.
Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea? (Shows Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book) She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!
“Intriguing,” Luz praised.
Dipper: M..maybe you should carve something from real life.
Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants?
Poses on a briefcase.
“That’ll work,” Hop Pop said.
“Maybe give him some pants though,” Stacy added, covering her eyes.
Cut to a montage of Mabel busily working on Wax Stan.
“Montage!” Luz and Phineas cheered.
Stan: (Walks in with his pants on but not his shoes) I found my pants but now I'm missing my- (Notices Wax Stan) Ahhh! (Falls over)
Mabel: What do you think?
Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!
“Have to say, I’m a pretty good looking fellow,” Stan said. He looked at Eda and put on a ‘suave’ smile. “Don’t I?”
Eda chugged the rest of her mug of appleblood and handed it to Stan with a sigh.
“Taken.”
There were laughs from the audience.
“Didn’t she keep convincing you to take sucker bets?” Hop Pop questioned.
Stan just grumbled.
Cut to Soos leading people with corndogs, and eats one, to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum. Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy.
Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.
Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.
Dipper: He bribed me. (Holds up dollar)
Wendy: (Holds up a dollar. They both laugh.)
“Are you sure you’re not evil?” Heinz asked.
Stan just sighed as the others laughed.
Stan: (Clears throat over the microphone) You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!
Cut to three women in the audience staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them.
“Gee, I wonder why I rejected you,” Eda teased.
Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me! Uncovers Wax Stan
Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.
Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!
“Yeah, great job Mabelangelo!” Luz cheered, causing Mabel to beam at the praise.
Mabel: It's Mabel. (Takes microphone) Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Throws up her arms) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!
The audience cringe at Mabel's choice of words.
This audience did the same.
“Okay, maybe I could have phrased that better,” Mabel admitted.
“Definitely,” her brother said.
Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to McGucket) You there!
McGucket: Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?
The Plantars and Pines twins blanched.
How did he see that coming…oh, he probably erased his memory and subconsciously remembered, Dipper thought.
Toby Determined: (Holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone) Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?
Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.
Toby Determined: It certainly is-
“That’s just sad,” Candace said.
Shandra Jimenez: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. (Shows flyer) Is this true?
The audience members cry out in demands.
Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone!
He uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him.
“You promised free pizza and lied. Ohoho, that’s low,” Heinz laughed.
Everyone left the area in fit of anger, one man look sad that he didn't get any pizza while Manly Dan punches a pole close to having it snap in two.
Manly Dan: In your face!
“Your dad is really strong,” Sprig said.
“And has so many anger issues. I love it!” Polly added.
Dipper and Wendy both have shock expressions on their faces, as Mabel walks over and leans her elbow on the ticket table.
Mabel: I think that went well.
“Something’s gonna happen. Something always happens,” Luz thought aloud.
Cut to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is counting the money he got.
Stan: Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person, this guy! (Points to Wax Stan)
The audience gave Stan sour looks.
Mabel playfully punches him.
Stan: Ooh! (Noogying her) Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go! (Sighs) Kids.
“Awe, look at how proud you are,” Wendy teased.
“Are you gonna do that everytime I show any sentiment?”
“Probably,” Wendy shrugged. “At least as long as I find it funny.”
Cut to TV.
Constable: Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case.
The Duck Detective: (Quacking; subtitles read:) Don't patronize me.
There were some chuckles.
Cut back to Stan with his wax self.
Stan: (Laughs) Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john. You need anything? (Laughs) I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere.
The others gave Stan confused looks while the twins looked on sadly. Looking back, it was obvious how when Stan saw the figure, he saw Ford.
Cut to Dipper and Mabel brushing their teeth.
Mabel: Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?
Dipper: Okay.
But just as Dipper said that…
Stan: (Offscreen; screaming:) No... No... Noooooo!
They look at each other for a moment, before running downstairs to see Stan in the living room.
Stan: Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered! (Wax Stan is headless. Clock bongs three times)
Mabel faints as Dipper catches her.
“This is not what I expected to happen,” Eda said.
“Ooh! A murder mystery!” Candace smiled.
“Is that your favorite genre?” Luz asked.
“Yep! Candace and I read all the Sherlock Holmes books in one night,” Stacy said.
“He’s the greatest detective of all time,” Candace praised.
Dipper and Mabel shared a smirk.
Oh, the irony.
Cut to Stan explaining the situation to the police officers.
Stan: I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!
Mabel: My expert handcrafting... besmirched. (Crying) Besmiiiirrrched!
“Oh, Mabel,” Luz comforted, patting the girl on the back. Phineas and Ferb joined in. They could relate to an extent.
Dipper: Who would do something like this?
Deputy Durland: What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?
Sheriff Blubs: Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable.
“What?!” everyone exclaimed.
“Are you kidding me?!” Eda yelled.
“Someone broke into your house, and they’re not gonna do anything?!” Hopediah added.
“Gravity Falls has a terrible police department. It’s literally just those two,” Stan answered.
“But this guy could be dangerous! They need to be busted!” Candace argued.
Dipper offers to help. The two just mock him, calling him a city boy and adorable.
“And they’re rude, too,” Anne said with a glare.
“He is a little adorable tough,” Polly said.
“Polly!”
“What? It’s true.”
Blubs: Look, P.J.'s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?
Blubs' walkie-talky went off.
Man: (Over Blub's walkie talkie:) Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!
Durland: It's a 23-16!
Blubs: Let's move!
And the two officers ran out of the shack laughing along the way.
The audience looked at the pair flatly.
Dipper: That's it! Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable. (Sneezes)
Mabel: Aww, you sneeze like a kitten! (Dipper glares at her)
“Do not say anything,” Dipper warned the others, who were snickering.
Cut to the next morning. Dipper and Mabel are studying the crime scene.
Dipper: Wax Stan has lost his head and its up to us to find it.
Mabel takes a picture.
Dipper: There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. (Looks at the bulletin board with pictures of suspects) The murderer could have been anyone.
Perry nodded at the board in approval.
“What do you think?” Candace asked Stacy.
“Probably Manly Dan. He seemed really angry.”
“He’s very loud though. It had to be someone quieter.”
Mabel finds shoeprints in the carpet.
Dipper: Footprints in the shag carpet!
Mabel: That's weird. They've got a hole in them.
Perry pocketed that information for later.
Dipper: And they're leading to...
There was an ax on the floor behind the sofa chair. Dipper and Mabel Gasp, then look at each other in surprise.
“Okay, this is really serious now. Someone who was clearly angry broke into your home with an ax. You have to take them down,” Eda said with a little fear.
Cut to the twins in the gift shop. They realize it was Manly Dan. Soos tells them that he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown.
Mabel: Then that's where we're going.
“I have some reservation about sending two kids on a mission like this,” Hop Pop said.
“We were fine,” Mabel said cheerfully.
Soos: Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!
Dipper: Don't call us that.
“I don’t know, I like the sound of that,” Phineas said.
“It does have a nice ring to it,” Ferb agreed.
“Yeah! Go Mystery Twins!” Luz cheered.
“Cool that you guys are gonna investigate this. Anne and I actually have experience with this,” Sprig mentioned.
“Really? How’d that go?” Dipper asked.
“Uh…” Anne trailed off.
“It didn’t end well. And we’ll leave it at that,” Sprig answered quickly.
Dipper and Mabel walk out of the shack and pass Grunkle Stan who was pulling a coffin out of his car.
Stan: Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy.
“It really meant that much to you?” Anne questioned.
The twins frowned in sympathy.
Dipper: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have got a big break in the case!
Mabel: Break in the case!
Dipper: We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer.
Mabel: We have an axe! (Shows Stan the ax in Dipper's bag; Making a horror movie screeching sound:) REE, REE, REE!
“You know, that would be funny if it weren’t so disconcerting,” Doof said.
“It’s funny regardless,” Polly cackled.
Stan: Hm, seems like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm an uncle. (He puts one foot on the coffin with his fist up in the air and his eyes are cross angled off from each other, while Dipper and Mabel both shared a look.) Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!
There were a few laughs but also a few glares in Stan’s direction.
“You deliberately sent your kids after the person who broke into your house with an ax? Have you lost your mind?!” Hop Pop screamed.
“Oh, come on. They can handle themselves. Plus, Dipper has that book with him. They’ll be fine,” Stan defended.
“Not that I disagree with you, you still should have at least sent Soos or Wendy with them. Probably Wendy,” Eda said.
“Thanks,” Wendy smirked.
“Anytime,” Eda winked and shot a finger gun.
“What do you think?” Pines asked Heinz.
“As someone who was evil for a long time, and still enjoys it to an extent, I like the whole vengeance thing. But that doesn’t mean you should have let your kids go after someone dangerous alone. For me, being a good caretaker always comes first. When my daughter goes somewhere dangerous, I make sure that she’s not alone. Isn’t that right, Perry the Platypus?” Doof said.
The monotreme nodded.
Cut to the town, Dipper and Mabel are sneaking behind a dumpster near the Skull Fracture.
Dipper: This is the place. (Gasp when Tats looks at him) Got the fake IDs?
Mabel gives him one of the IDs she made.
Dipper: (Looking at ID) Here goes nothing.
“That’s not gonna work,” Stacy said, shaking her head.
“Wanna bet?” Wendy asked.
“Sure. We’ll name our prices afterwards,” she shrugged.
Stan and Eda shook their heads.
“Rookie mistake,” he sighed.
Tats: (Looks at an ID card) Sorry, but we don't serve miners.
“See? Told ya,” Stacy smirked. “Alright, I want…”
The Miner: Daaaannnnng'nab it! (Spits on the road and walks off) Eughh!
“Huh?”
Mabel: (She and Dipper walk up) We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan. (She and Dipper show their fake ID cards; Mabel jingles hers) Dedledle-e.
Tats: Works for me. (Opens door for the twins)
Silence filled the theater for about a minute. Stacy just kept blinking at the screen. Wendy looked at her smugly.
“You were saying?”
“But…How did…I can’t…”
“I’ll explain,” the young lumberjack began. “I sometimes have to bring my dad home, and I know for a fact that that guy doesn’t care how old you are. He’ll let you in regardless. And if I help myself to a drink, that’s nobody’s business but my own,” she shrugged.
Eda grinned. She liked this girl.
The men are fighting inside the Skull Fracture. Dipper and Mabel walk inside and look around.
Mabel: (Walks over a body) He's resting.
The older members of the audience blanched.
“Relax, he’s not dead,” Wendy said simply.
“Oh, thank frog,” Hopediah sighed.
Dipper: Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?
Mabel: You got it, Dippingsauce. (Climbs onto a chair and talks to a man) Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! (Pats his arm) Bap!
The Biker lets out a growl.
Stan growled.
“I swear, if he tries anything…”
Manly Dan aggressively plays an arm wrestling game.
Dipper: Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?
Manly Dan: Punchin' the clock.
Dipper: You were at work?
Manly Dan: No, I was punchin' that clock! (Points to a broken clock outside)
“Your dad has issues,” Sprig blatantly said.
“Yep,” Wendy replied, popping the ‘p.’
Dipper: So, I guess you've never seen this before? (Pulls out the axe)
Manly Dan: I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND! (Rips the machine's arm off and beats the machine with it)
Tyler Cutebiker: Get 'im! Get 'im! (Giggles)
“Well, that’s disturbing,” Heinz noted.
“Big break in the case though,” King said.
“So that means the killer is a left-handed member of the audience,” Polly observed.
“Hey, wasn’t Toby Determined holding the turkey baster with his left hand?” Jeremy questioned.
“Oh my gosh, he was!” Anne answered.
“Hmmm…I don’t know. He’s kind of a…” Stacy trailed off.
“Wuss?” King offered.
“Pathetic?” Polly added.
“Wimp?” Dipper finished.
“…Yeah.”
Cut back to Mabel and the Biker.
Mabel & Biker: (Looking at cootie catcher Mabel is counting off with) 3, 4, 5, 6.
Mabel: (Gasps) Your wife is gonna be beautiful.
Biker: (Pumps arm) Yes!
“Good for him!” Luz beamed.
Stan rolled his eyes and chuckled.
“Only you, sweetie,” he said, ruffling Mabel’s hair fondly.
Dipper: Mabel, big break in the case!
The two leave the bar, as the Biker calls out to Mable.
Biker: But will she love me?!
“Oh!” Mabel exclaimed, slapping her forehead. “I knew I forgot something. Yes! She will love him!”
The audience smiled.
“What kind of oracle magic is that?” Eda asked her surrogate daughter.
“Hard to explain,” Luz waved off.
Dipper: It's a left handed ax. (Shows her a list) These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer.
“Sounds simple enough,” King said.
“Just be careful,” Doof warned.
“And try to be polite. You don’t wanna go overboard,” Anne added.
Montage: cut to Mabel waving at McGucket. He has a baby alligator on his right hand as he waves back to her.
“Nope,” Luz said.
Dipper wears a fake mustache and carries a package to Pizza Guy's house. Pizza Man signs Dipper's form with his right hand, gets excited, only for Dipper to take the package and leave.
“Low blow, dude,” Jeremy shook his head.
Mabel whistles to the Angry Lady and throws her a baseball. She catches it with her right hand and crushes it.
There were some gulps.
“I’d think it was her if she wasn’t right handed,” Susan said.
The twins arrive at Mikey R.'s house. He comes to the door with both hands in casts.
A beat of silence.
“Definitely innocent,” they all kept saying over each other.
Name after name is listed as right handed until the tip of the pencil breaks.
Dipper: (Gasps) Mabel, there's only one person left on this list.
Mabel: (Gasps) Of course, it all adds up!
“Tobey Determined,” Eda realized.
“Huh, I guess it was him,” Polly relented.
“Hmm, I don’t know,” Stacy narrowed her eyes at the screen.
Perry nodded with her in agreement.
The cops and kids go to Gravity Falls Gossiper.
Blubs: You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it.
Dipper: The evidence is irrefutable.
Mabel: It's so irrefutable.
Durland: I gonna get to use my match stick!
Blubs: You ready? You ready little fella?
Blubs & Durland: Woo, woo! (Both poke each other with their police batons)
The people from outside of Gravity Falls just stared at the pair.
“These guys are…” Polly began.
“Yeah,” Stan sighed. “They’re fools. It’s an embarrassment. Committing crimes is so easy in that town that it’s losing its fun.”
The group breaks down the door and raids the place.
Dipper: Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan.
Mabel: You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work. (High fives Dipper)
“Good word play,” King praised.
“Thanks.”
Toby Determined: Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!
Dipper: Then allow me to explain. (Flashback to the event; voiceover:) You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. (In the flashback, Toby chops Wax Stan's head off)
Mabel holds a newspaper with a picture of Wax Stan's head.
Dipper: (Flashback shows Toby's shoe with a hole in it and his turkey baster held in his left hand; voiceover:) But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed.
“Nice job, Dipper,” Anne praised.
“Yeah, you busted this guy,” Candace said with a thumbs up.
Mabel: (Crumples up newspaper) Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news.
“Oho! That was perfect!” King offered Mabel a high-five. The Pines girl took it.
“Say, aren’t his feet a little small to have made those footprints?” Luz noticed.
The audience looked at the screen again.
“You’re right,” Baljeet realized.
“But then that means…” Sprig trailed off.
Toby Determined: Boy, your little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions. (Dances) Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder.
The twins are confused.
Blubs: Then where were you at the night of the break-in?
“Everyone brace yourselves,” Dipper warned.
“Huh? Why?” Eda questioned.
“This is really disgusting.”
“Dipper, come on man. I’m sure I’ve seen worse than…” Isabella began.
Toby Determined: Ehh... (Inserts a tape into a TV. It starts playing, and we see him taking a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez out of his closet) Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez! (Kisses it)
The audience recoiled and cringed at the sight.
“Oh~” Isabella moaned out in disgust.
“Why?! Just why?!” Wendy screamed, covering her eyes.
“I feel so bad for her,” Luz shook her head.
The Cops, Dipper & Mabel cringe in disgust.
Cops & Kids: Eeeewwww! Yuck!
Blubs: Timestamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.
“Freak of nature is right,” Heinz complained.
Dipper: But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!
Blubs: (Checks for finger print on the ax) No prints at all.
“What?” everyone questioned.
“But then who was it? You kids said you solved the mystery, so what happened?” Stan asked his niece and nephew.
“Were they wearing gloves?” Stacy wondered.
“Uh…you’ll have to keep watching,” Dipper answered.
Durland: Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time.
All of the adults laugh at Dipper and Mabel who look at each other with embarrassment.
Candace sighed and laid comforting hands on the twins’ shoulders.
“Hey, I know what it’s like for people to think that of you. I probably understand more than anyone. But if you ask me, it’s their loss. You too are twelve years old and you’re already the best investigators I’ve ever seen.” She turned to her brothers. “No offense.”
“None taken. Right, Ferb?”
Ferb shook his head.
“And you know what? I’d love to join you two sometime.”
“Really?” Mabel asked.
“Yeah, why not?”
The twins beamed.
“Thanks,” Dipper said.
“Don’t mention it.”
Toby Determined: (As the video of him kissing the cutout of Shandra Jimenez continues to play) Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two.
“Look who’s talking,” Eda scowled. This was just like Warden Wrath.
Cut to Stan in the wax figure room. He is standing on a stage with a bunch of chairs set up. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and the wax figures are the audience.
“You actually went ahead with it,” Luz blinked.
“Boy, does he have an ego,” Anne mumbled.
Stan cries during his eulogy and runs out the room. Soos runs after him.
Dipper and Mabel hugged Stan. It was heartbreaking how much he missed Ford.
Dipper: (Sighs) Those cops are right about me.
Mabel: Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now.
Dipper: (Stands up and walk to the coffin) But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues (Looks inside coffin; sighs) Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it…
The audience perked up.
“Say what?” Hopediah said.
Perry and Stacy narrowed their eyes.
Mabel: All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy.
Stacy gasped loudly and Perry gapped.
“Get out of there, now!” she screamed.
“Too late,” Dipper and Mabel said together.
Candace’s busting sense was blaring like an alarm inside her head.
“Wait…” King began
“You don’t mean…” Anne trailed off.
Dipper: Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are-
Wax Holmes: Standing right behind you.
“Nooooooooooo way,” The audience, for lack of better words, said.
Stan was frozen in his seat.
Dipper and Mabel turn in time to see all of the wax figures come to life.
Dipper: (Gasp) Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?
Wax Coolio: Wha s'up Holmes?
“Shakespeare?” Luz asked eagerly.
“Coolio?” someone in the audience questioned.
The wax figure of Lizzie Borden took the ax from Mabel.
Mabel: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!
Wax Holmes: Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.
Dipper and Mabel lean back in fright.
“Hot belgian waffles!” Stan screamed.
“Say what?! Hop Pop exclaimed.
Wax Holmes: Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret. (Takes wax Stan's head out of his cape) Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically.
All of the Wax figures clapped, except-
Wax Holmes: Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap.
They try again much slower this time around.
Wax Holmes: There we go, nice and condescending.
Candace and Stacy blinked.
“He’s a lot more of a jerk than I thought he’d be,” the redhead said.
Dipper: But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!
Mabel: Are you... magic?
Wax Holmes: (Laughs) Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic! (Stops laughing) We're CURSED!
Eda leaned forward in her seat. Could a Witch have done this?
Wax Holmes: Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale.
Wax Coolio: A haunted garage sale, son!
Flashback to the haunted garage sale.
The Seller: I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.
Stan: (Looks at price tag) Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'.
The Seller: What?
Stan: I said I was gonna rob you.
A few of the kids laughed at this.
“Did you just flat out admit that you were going to rob him to his face ?!” Eda asked incredulously.
Stan shrugged.
“And you never thought it was suspicious that he didn’t try to stop you?” Polly questioned.
“Uh…” Stan couldn’t form a response.
Flashback showing the wax museum during the day.
Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man.
Wax Coolio: (Voiceover:) But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night.
Flashback shows the statues messing around the Mystery Shack at night.
“I feel violated,” Stan said.
Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) It was a charmed life for us cursed beings...
Flashback to Stan shaking the empty admission box and putting the wax figures in storage.
Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) That is, until your uncle closed up shop.
The storage room is seen wearing out as time goes by, leaving the door blocked by wallpaper. Soos later comes by sweeping the floor and finds the knob to the storage room. He puts the knob back in its place. Dissolve to the Mystery Shack.
Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away...
Flashback to Wax Sherlock Holmes swipes Wax Stan's head off with an ax.
Wax Holmes: (Voiceover:) But we got the wrong guy.
“HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!” Stan screamed. “They were going to kill me!”
“You really had no idea that they were alive?” Anne asked with narrowed eyes.
“Are you kidding? No!”
Anne sighed.
Well, at least he’s not like the Curator in that sense. He’s still pretty sus though.
Dipper: So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!
Mabel: You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!
Wax Holmes: Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die.
“They’re children!” Hop Pop shouted at the screen.
The kids shivered and clung to their older siblings.
The wax figures growl and their eyes roll back in their heads as they approach the kids.
Dipper and Mabel backed away from the cursed wax figures in fright.
Mabel: What do we do, what do we do?
Dipper: I don't know!
With not many options, Dipper and Mabel started to throw everything from the table behind them at the figures, which seem to do no damage at all, not until Dipper grabs the coffee maker and tosses the coffee at Wax Genghis Khan who screams in agony as he slowly starts to melt.
Mabel: That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!
“Brilliant!” Luz cheered.
“Hey, do you think my hairdryer would work on them?” Candace asked her brothers. They shrugged in response.
With the knowledge of how to fight back, Dipper and Mabel grab the two electric candle sticks and use them as weapons. The figures begin closing in on the twins. Wax Lizzie Borden swings her ax at Mabel…
They sucked in a breath.
…but accidentally decapitates Wax Robin Hood.
They sighed in relief.
Mabel walks around her, but Wax Shakespeare sneaks up behind her. Mabel cuts off his hands with the candles, and he runs away. Wax Shakespeare's hands still move, and begin strangling Mabel.
The hands received a lot of glares.
Mabel walks over to a door, and repeat-ably smashes it on its fingers.
Dipper was doing well holding his ground at the wax figures and making puns at them.
Dipper: Interview this, Larry King! (Decapitates Wax Larry King with candle)
Wax Larry King: My neck! My beautiful neck!
“Take that!” Polly cheered.
Wax Groucho Marx: (Touches candle as if he tried to take it out from Dipper's hands, only to have his hand melting) Eh!
Dipper: Jokes on you, Groucho! (Cuts Groucho in half using candle)
Wax Groucho Marx: (As the top half of his body slides off of the lower half) I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous!
Some of the audience couldn’t help but snicker.
Wax Genghis Khan charges at Dipper, but the boy dodges out of the way as he runs right into the fireplace like a bull.
Dipper: Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Jin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright. (Gets up and runs back into the fight)
Ferb gave him a so-so gesture.
Mabel swings around Wax Coolio's head while getting overwhelmed by wax figures.
Wax Coolio: Ow ow ow ow! What's up with that?
The audience laughed.
Mabel: Dipper! Watch out!
Dipper cuts Wax Richard Nixon's leg, causing Nixon to be pushed into the next room and sees Wax Sherlock Holmes approach him. Holmes takes a sword while Mabel throws Dipper a poker from the fireplace which is heated to a burning point.
“Hmm, little guy versus a tall one. Well, in my experience, I think I know where this is going,” Doofenshmirtz said.
Perry smirked while King and Polly cheered that “Little guys rule!”
Wax Holmes brings the sword on Dipper, but is blocked with the poker. Wax Sherlock keeps attacking, while Dipper blocks and is pushed back. Dipper is pushed back into the Attic Floor, and is cornered by Wax Holmes against the wall.
Wax Holmes: Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!
Dipper: (Looks at the window, and, just when Sherlock brings the sword down, rolls through his legs and out the window) Don't count on it!
Wax Holmes: Come back here, you brat!
Dipper climbs onto the Mystery Shack sign and Wax Holmes follows him. Dipper slowly walks across it, while Wax Holmes swings the sword at him. They clash between poker and sword while trying to maintain balance. Wax Holmes tries to hit Dipper with its sword, but Dipper jumps back, and the "S" in "Shack" falls off.
Wax Holmes: You really think you can outwit me boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!
“He is the greatest detective of all time,” Stacy conceded. “But we know who’s gonna win.”
“I think Inspector Poirot is the best,” Hop Pop said.
“You’ve read Agatha Christie's murder mysteries?” Dipper asked, intrigued.
“A…friend of mine introduced me to them. They’re phenomenal. Especially the movie made by that Kenneth Branagh.”
“Kenneth Branagh makes a Poirot film?! When?!”
“Uh…I think it was 2017,” Anne answered.
Dipper screamed in joy.
Dipper: (Drops the poker and begins to climb off the sign, and behind it. He hides behind the chimney and looks out to see is Wax Sherlock is there)
Wax Holmes: (Kicks him down. Raises sword) Any last words?
Dipper: Um... you got any sunscreen?
Wax Holmes: Got any-? What? (Turns and sees the sun starting to rise and he gasps) No.
Hlmes begins to melt.
“Yes!” Gretchen cheered.
“Way to go, Dipper!” Luz praised. It reminded her of when she branded a sigil on Belos. That was extremely satisfying.
Dipper: You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision.
Wax Holmes: (Continues to melt) Outsmarted by a child in short pants! No! (Starts melting faster) Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo. (Everything but his face melts)
“Dude, that was amazing!” Soos said.
“That was incredible, man!” Wendy praised.
“I can’t believe you outsmarted the Sherlock Holmes!” Anne exclaimed.
“Meh, forget him,” Candace waved off. “And Poirot. This guy’s the real deal.” The redhead then proceeded to ‘knight’ him with her hand. “I dub thee, the Greatest Detective of All Time.”
Dipper blushed at the praise.
“I’m not that good.”
“ Yet. I have a feeling you’ll get there.” She then elbowed him lightly. “Friend.”
Dipper smiled.
“Thanks, Candace.”
Mabel and Wendy smiled. It was nice to see Dipper making new friends.
Cut to Mabel throwing the remaining parts of the wax figures into the fireplace. Wax Shakespeare's head is the only noticeable wax figure left.
Wax Shakespeare: Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!
Mabel: Y'know any limericks?
Luz gasped.
“Dios mío, do you realize what this means? That’s the William Shakespeare! The most iconic play writer of all time. And he wrote dozens of plays that were lost. He could rewrite them again or write new ones. Think of all the incredible stories there could be!” Luz squealed.
“And all the money I could make!” Stan grinned, rubbing his hands together.
“Um…” Mabel began.
Wax Shakespeare: Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky...
Mabel: Nope! (Throws his head into the fire)
“…Sorry,” she winced.
“…Nooooooooooooo! Why~!” Luz wailed.
“The money!” Stan cried.
Dipper walks back into the room.
Mabel: Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all.
Dipper: (Pulls up a chair and takes Wax Stan's head off the wall) I couldn't have done it without my sidekick.
Mabel: No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick.
Dipper: What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?
“Past me is worried for nothing. It’s obvious that Mabel’s the sidekick,” Dipper boasted.
“What? No, you’re the sidekick,” Mabel snarked, shoving him.
Eda’s eyes lit up and she grinned mischievously.
“Well, I can’t say which one it is, but I know that one of you is the sidekick.”
“Huh?” the twins went.
“Well, it’s obvious that one of you is the dominant sibling, but only the two of you can determine which.”
“Definitely me. I have the best grades,” Dipper bragged.
“Oh please. I’m the better artist!”
“You have a crazy love-life.”
“At least I have a love life. And bathe every now and then,” Mabel said smugly.
Eda grabbed some popcorn to munch on as she watched her work unfold.
“Oh yeah? Well…Well…I have straight teeth!” Dipper countered before immediately turning pale.
What have I done?
Mabel’s eyes narrowed as they blazed with hot furry. She let out a scream and tackled her brother to the ground.
“Children fighting! I can sell this! Does anyone have a camera?” Stan asked.
“Right here, big guy,” Heinz grinned, pulling a camera out of his lab coat.
Pines took it and started filming.
“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” the two cheered.
“A scuffle, eh? Alright,” King said, entertained.
“Yeah!” Polly added with enthusiasm.
“Ow! Take off those knuckles!” Dipper complained.
“Then let go of my hair!” Mabel screamed.
“Should we intervene?” Luz asked.
“Nope. Let it run its course,” Eda answered, eating some popcorn.
The young Noceda gasped in realization.
“You got them to fight on purpose!” she accused. “Why?!”
“To watch my favorite public display of affection: Sibling Bickering!”
The fight lasted a few more minutes until Mabel tickled her brother and they called it quits, doing their special hug.
Stan: (Walks in) Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?
Mabel: Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!
Dipper: I decapitated Larry King.
Stan: Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!
Stan shook his head.
“To think I thought you were just foolin’ around.” He then surprised his niece and nephew by pulling them into a hug. “You saved my life, kids! Those freaks were gonna kill me, but you saved me!”
“Grunkle Stan, are you crying?” Dipper questioned.
“I have dust in my eye!”
“Awe, come here, you!” Mabel hugged him back.
Dipper: On the bright side, though, look what we found. (Hands Stan Wax Stan's head)
Stan: My head! Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing.
Stan laughs as he gives each of his grand niece and nephew noogies making them laugh at Stan's family affection.
The audience smiled at the interaction.
Suddenly, Stan perked up.
“Hey wait a second. If they were alive, then that means…” The elder Pine then gasped loudly. “Wax Lincoln was murdered by Wax Booth!” he angrily shouted.
Blubs and Durland drive up to the window.
Blubs: Solved the case yet, boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee. (Takes a long, slow sip)
“Who else thinks we’re about to see a spit take?” Sprig asked.
Everyone raised their hands.
Dipper: Actually, the answer is yes.
Blubs: Blu blu blu- (Spits coffee in Durland's face)
Durland: (Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)
Blubs: (Screams; spits coffee in Durland's face)
Durland: (Screams; spits coffee in Blubs' face)
They drive away, screaming.
The audience was laughing hysterically.
“That has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!” Candace laughed.
Even Perry couldn’t keep the grin off his face.
The three Pines family members laugh at the cops driving away.
Stan: (Points to offscreen) They got scalded!
A crash is heard.
“They were fine,” Mabel said.
Dipper: So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?
Mabel: I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!
Dipper: Good enough for me!
The camera moves over to a vent and we see Wax Larry King's head.
“He survived! Burn him!” King screamed.
A rat pulls off his ear and scurry down the air vents.
Wax Larry King: Hey, get back here! (Hops after him) I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!
“I don’t think he’s gonna be too dangerous,” Holly deadpanned.
Cut to credits
Mabel: Hmm. Hey Dipper, which do you think is better? Sequins or llama hair?
Wax Larry King: (Hops to the vent next to her) The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors. (Hops off)
Mabel: Thanks Dipper!
Dipper: (Stops reading and looks around confusingly)
KH'V VWLOO LQ WKH YHQWV.
Dipper copied the code.
“Well, that was something else,” Jeremy said.
“I’ll say,” Stan agreed.
“Hey, wait a minute. That was the last episode for Gravity Falls today,” Anne realized. “So that means we can move on to our thing, right?” she asked, gesturing to the Plantars and herself.
“Uh, that was the original plan. But I’ve decided to add one more. You see, today is about establishing the tone of your adventures. So I realized that I needed to add this episode,” the disembodied voice of their host explained.
“Oh. Well, okay. Which adventure is this?” Wendy asked.
“The Hand That Rocks the Mabel.”
Mabel whimpered, realized what this was.
“Please, no,” she begged of them. “Can we just do it tomorrow?”
The host sighed, and suddenly there was a swirl of darkness, and the shadowy form of the host stood before them. They knelt in front of Mabel and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I know this will be uncomfortable for you. But this needs to be done. There is another reason as well. I was supposed to speak with a friend earlier whose help is beyond essential for all of us. But he has informed me that we cannot speak until after this episode at the earliest.”
Mabel was silent. Then she asked the question that everyone had been wanting to know the answer to.
“Why are we here? What’s so important that we have to relive things we hate? What has you so afraid?”
The host hesitated.
“I want to tell you, all of you. I really do. But it must wait until every one of your adventures has been seen. Only then can you possibly understand what is happening.” No one else could tell, but they turned to look at King. “Can you trust me?”
“I…I think we can,” the young Titan answered.
Their host smiled.
“Then let’s watch the next episode.”
The Hand That Rocks the Mabel
Stan Pines standing out in the front yard with some tourist.
Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "Sack of Mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!
“Ha! That’s never gonna work,” Eda laughed.
“Can you imagine if it did though. I’d be rich!” Heinz wished.
Stan just grinned.
The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. Stan smiles at his gain and their loss.
Almost everyone had baffled looks. Eda's jaw was wide open. Doof practically had dollar signs in his eyes.
“What?! But that would never work back home!” Eda yelled.
“Tourists are gullible. If they can afford to be on vacation, then they have money to lose,” Stan explained.
“I’m gonna be rich!” Heinz cheered, both fists in the air.
The commercial for Gideon’s Tent of Telepathy airs. It also calls Stan a fraud.
“Is he a business rival of yours?” Hopediah asked.
“Yep. And a little creep too,” Pines answered.
“Little?” Anne questioned.
“Just watch and find out.”
“Hold on a second,” Hop Pop said. “That voice sounds like someone we know.”
“Hey, you’re right,” Sprig realized.
Mayor Toadstool?
Mabel: Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!
Stan: (Walks in) Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble.
Cut to Grunkle Stan driving in a parking lot. He spots an open parking spot and attempts to back in, but Gideon's tour bus pulls in first.
Stan: (Makes a fist) Gideon!
“I’ll admit, that is extremely annoying,” Candace said.
Cut back to present.
Mabel: Well, is he really psychic?
Dipper: I think we should go and find out.
Eda and Luz nodded. Perhaps Gideon was a Witch.
Stan: Never! You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!
Dipper: Do tents have roofs?
Mabel: I think we just found our loop hole... literally! (Holds up a string with a loop in it) Mwop mwop!
The audience chuckled.
Stan shook his head before ruffling the twins’ hair.
“As much as I don’t like you doing this, I’m also proud of you for it.”
Cue theme song
Cut to a crowd entering the Tent of Telepathy. Bud Gleeful stands at the entrance with a sack.
Bud: Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack.
Crowd mutters several positive things about the sack's credibility.
“Wha- that’s even less believable!” Eda complained.
Dipper: Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos.
Dipper points to a maintenance worker who looks very similar to Soos, named . Soos glares at the lookalike while munching on an empanada.
“The menace has been copying me for years,” Stan snarled.
Mabel: It's starting! It's starting!
Dipper: Let's see what this monster looks like.
The lights dimmed as the stage light shines through the curtains reviling a big tall shadowy figure, but once the pulled away to revile a small boy who looks 2-3 years younger than Dipper and Mabel. With big white hair.
Everyone from the other groups just blinked before turning to Stan incredulously.
“Your rival is a child?” Anne questioned.
Stan grumbled incoherently.
Eda just laughed.
Heinz slapped him on the back.
“Welcome to my life. My biggest rival has always been a small platypus.” Then he put a finger to his chin in thought. “You know, I think we’re a lot alike.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. And we’ll see for sure by the end of this episode.”
Gideon: Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon.
Gideon claps and doves fly out of his hair. The crowd cheers.
Gideon: Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, "aww."
Gideon makes a cute pose and the crowd says "aww."
“Boo~,” the Dipper and Mabel went, while the others just sent flat looks.
“I wasn’t impressed then, and I’m even less impressed now,” Dipper said.
Bud Gleeful starts playing the piano and Gideon starts singing his song.
Gideon: Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!
Crowd, including Soos and the twins, rises, seemingly unintentionally, and they start to clap along with the beat.
Dipper: Wha—? How did he—?
Eda eyed the screen.
“Something’s wrong here,” she said.
“I feel it too,” Candace added, her arms vibrating.
Gideon predicts things that are completely easy about members of the audience.
The flat looks somehow got flatter.
The song ends, Gideon is sweating and panting and the crowd cheers wildly.
Dipper: (As they exit) Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous.
There were a few snickers while Stan sent Dipper a look that made him chuckle nervously.
Mabel: Oh, come on. His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!
“Not really,” all the Fireside Girls said.
Dipper: You're too easily impressed.
Mabel: Yeah, yeah!
As the twins walk away laughing, neither of them notice that Gideon was peeking out from the tent and watching them. Almost as if he's curiously focus on something, or someone.
“I don’t like where this is going,” Luz said.
Next day at the Mystery Shack. Mabel goes up to Dipper, her face is bedazzled with sequins.
Mabel: Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bezazzled my face! Blink! (She blinks as she says this and some of the sequins fly off her face) Ow.
Dipper: Is that permanent?
Mabel: I'm unappreciated in my time…
“I bet we could help you pull that off. Right, Ferb?” Phineas asked his brother.
Ferb nodded.
“Thank you!” Mabel beamed.
The doorbell rings.
Stan: Somebody answer that door!
Mabel: I'll get it!
She goes to get the door. She opens it up but there is no one there. Mabel then looks down and finds Gideon.
Gideon: Howdy.
Mabel: It's "wittle ol'" you!
Gideon: (Laughs nervously) Yeah, my song's quite catchy. Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head.
Mabel groaned as she hid her face in her sweater. This caused Eda, Wendy, Luz, Anne, Candace and Stacy to share worried looks.
Stan: (Offscreen) Who's at the door?
Mabel: No one, Grunkle Stan!
Gideon: I appreciate your discretion. Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet.
Mabel: Gideon! Aha ha!
“It’s ‘cause she’s tough like me, you little weirdo!” Stan shouted.
“Hey! Don’t call him that. That’s not fair to weirdos like me!” Luz exclaimed.
Stan conceded to the point.
Gideon: What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more. Perhaps in my dressing room?
The teens and adults narrowed their eyes at him.
“What was that?” Anne asked angrily.
Mabel: Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!
Cut to inside Gideon's house. Gideon opens the door to his dressing room and Mabel is given a makeover before returning to the Mystery Shack.
There were sighs of relief.
Mabel: Hey Dipper. What's goin' oooon? (Dangles manicured fingernails over Dipper's head)
Dipper: Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails, you look like a wolverine.
Mabel: I know, right?
She roars and pretends to scratch something.
“And you are workin’ it! You fell right at home where we’re from,” Eda grinned.
Mabel moved her sweater from her face to show Eda a smile.
Mabel: I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man.
Dipper: Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.
“You seem cool though!” Dipper quickly told Eda, who was glaring at him.
Mabel: Oh, leave him alone! You never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!
Dipper: What do you mean?
Soos: (Enters) Hey dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
Dipper: (Excitedly:) Am I!
They both run off while Mabel stands there.
Dipper chuckled sheepishly while Soos had no shame.
Cut to Mabel and Gideon on the roof of a warehouse.
Mabel: Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts! Good thing we both brought our—
Mabel & Gideon: —Opera glasses! (Point their opera glasses at each other and laugh)
Gideon: Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey. I guess that makes you my queen!
Gideon then asks her out on a date while touching her hair, making her uncomfortable.
“This kid is a creep,” Candace said.
Mabel is uncomfortably pressured into saying yes.
Gideon: Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world! (Hugs Mabel)
Mabel: Are you sniffing my hair?
“Okay, that is an immediate red flag,” Luz said.
Mabel just whimpered sadly.
Note to self: Do not sniff Ivy’s hair unless she’s okay with it, Sprig thought.
Back at Mystery Shack, Mabel and Dipper are playing a video game.
Mabel: It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone.
Dipper: Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you.
“If only it were that easy,” Isabella crossed her arms and huffed.
Dipper and the Fireside Girls patted her on the back.
Doorbell rings, Mabel goes to answer door only to be greeted by a horse busting through it with Gideon riding. Mabel screams in fright.
“That’s what happened to my door?! Well, I’ll be sending bud the bill then!” Stan shouted.
Gideon: A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!
Mabel: Oh boy.
“It’s okay to say no to someone,” Eda said gently.
“I know that now. But I had to learn it the hard way,” Mabel groaned.
Cut to an aquatic themed restaurant, and then to the interior. Mabel and Gideon are sitting together at a booth.
“Have to admit, it’s a nice restaurant,” Stacy conceded.
“Nah, my brothers built a better one,” Candace responded.
Mabel: I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!
Gideon: Well, people have a hard time saying no to me. (Puts feet up on table)
“Spoiled little brat,” Eda mumbled.
Cut to the Mystery Shack gift shop, where Stan is looking at a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together.
“You look really uncomfortable,” Luz said with sympathy.
Mabel just looked away from everyone.
Eda sighed.
“Well, here I go.” The Owl Lady then hefted the Pines girl up and rocked her in her arms. “Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture.”
Stan: Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?
Wendy: Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight.
Stan: WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great niece!?
Soos: I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel? (Gasps)Magidbeleon!
“That would sound like a cool name if he wasn’t a total creep,” Anne said.
Dipper: I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to.
Stan: Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now! (Slams door)
The audience grinned. Finally, someone with sense was gonna put a stop to Mabel’s problem.
Soos: Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door? (Opens the door) Nope. Real door.
“That would have been funny,” King snickered.
“Thanks, dude.”
Stan drives his car up to Gideon's house and skids to a halt in front. He then marches to the front door angrily.
Bud: (Opens the door) Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!
Stan: Out of the way Bud, I'm looking for Gideon!
Bud: Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee! (Pulls Stan inside)
Stan: But-but I came-
Bud: It's imported! All the way from Colombia!
“Please tell me you’re not gonna let him bribe you with lavish gifts?” Milly begged.
Stan said nothing.
Stan: Wow... I went to jail there once.
“You were in a Colombian prison? Ouch!” Heinz winced.
“I’m not surprised,” Anne said.
Stan: (Whistles)Some digs you got here. (Sees clown painting) Oh, this. This is beautiful.
“Well, it certainly is a nice painting,” Hop Pop praised.
Bud: Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony lately so to speak!
Stan: Uh, yeah, and I'm against it. Nyah. (Knocks a pillow off the couch)
“Yeah, you tell him, Pines!” Eda cheered, still rocking Mabel.
Stan started to chuckle and sweat.
Bud explains that he sees this as a chance to merge their businesses.
Stan: (Clicks a cash register) I'm listening.
Everyone was giving Stan the stink eye.
“Aw, come on, man!” Anne exclaimed.
“Really?! I mean really?!” Candace added.
Wendy shook her head at him.
“Wow, that’s low, even for me,” Heinz said.
“Hey, I thought the two of them were actually going somewhere! And at the time, my biggest problem with Gideon was that he was stealing my business,” Stan defended himself.
Cut back to Gideon and Mabel in The Club.
Gideon: ...And so I said "Autograph your own head shot lady." (Laughs)
Mabel: (Nervously laughs) Yeah... (The lobster on her plate pinches her fork)
The audience sighed in sympathy.
Gideon: Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!
“Excuse me?” Polly growled.
Mabel: Whoa whoa, you said just one date, and this was it.
Gideon: Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw!
The macaw flew down towards their booth and lands on Gideon. Causing Mabel to scream and grab hold of her lobster.
Gideon: ...two three four...
Macaw: MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY.
Gideon: (Shakes it violently)
Macaw: THURSDAY! (Coughs up a letter and flies away)
The audience blinked.
“…Well, that’s disturbing,” Heinz noted.
Gideon uses the crowd to pressure Mabel into saying yes.
“Why that little sh…” Eda began before she was off by a glare from the teens, who were covering the kids’ ears.
Cut back to the Shack. Dipper asks how the date went.
Mabel: BLAARRGG! (Flails arms) He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no.
“Oh, Mabel,” Stacy said with pity.
Dipper: Like this: no.
Mabel: It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends.
“I don’t think that what he ever wanted,” Hopediah sighed.
Out at night in the middle of the lake. Old man McGucket is rowing a boat with Gideon and Mabel in it.
McGucket: Boat in the night! Boat in the night! (Laughs)
Mabel: Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right?
Gideon: (Leans in) Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?
Mabel: (Recoils) NO! I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend...
McGucket: Pal?
Mabel: I already said pal, uh, mate?
Gideon: How about soul mate?
Fireworks appear that show the name "Mabel" within a heart.
“This kid does not know how to take a hint,” Eda groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose while holding Mabel with her other arm.
McGucket: Well, you can't say no to that.
“Aw, come on, McGucket!” Stan complained.
Mabel looks freaked out.
Mabel continued to hide her face in her sweater while in Eda’s arms. The Witch then looked down at her with a smirk.
“You wanna play with the dog?” she whispered.
“…Yeah,” Mabel answered.
Eda then set her back down and placed King in her arms. The Pines girl held him tightly.
“Weh?! Eda-!”
“She needs this,” his mother cut in.
King sighed and sagged in Mabel’s arms.
“I know.”
“Thanks, Grauntie Eda.”
Eda was about to correct her but couldn’t find it in herself to do it. So she just smiled at the girl and patted her head.
Cut back to the Shack, where Mabel is pacing.
Mabel: ..I mean, he's so nice, but.. I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. (Shouts) I have no way out!
The others lost track of how many times they’d frowned in sympathy.
Dipper: (Enters) What in the heck happened on that date?
Mabel: I don't know! I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!
Dipper: Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon.
Stan: (Enters) Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!
Everyone was glaring at Stan.
“I thought she actually liked the little runt! So I saw it as a win-win! And this wasn’t her first boyfriend, so how was I supposed to know she was uncomfortable?”
“That still doesn’t make it okay,” Luz argued.
“I know,” Stan sighed.
Hop Pop began to sweat, remembering how he’d done the exact same thing to Sprig.
Stan: It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt. (Gestures to his "Team Gideon" shirt) Ugh, I am fat.
Mabel Screams and runs out of the room.
Stan: (Calling after her:) Bodies change, honey! Bodies change…
The audience couldn’t help but laugh.
Dipper walks into the attic and sees Mabel hiding in her sweater
Dipper: Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, I'll do it for you.
“Dipper, no,” Isabella said, slapping her face. “That never works out.”
Mabel: (Playfully punches and hugs Dipper) Oh, thank you thank you thank you!
Cut to The Club, where Gideon is sitting in a booth awaiting Mabel. Dipper enters, approaches Gideon and clears his throat.
Gideon: Oh. Dipper Pines, how are you? You look good, you look good.
Dipper: Thanks, you uh... Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore. (Laughs nervously) She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense.
Gideon: (Eye twitches) So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us. (Eye twitches again)
Dipper: You're not gonna like, freak out or anything, are ya?
Gideon: Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know.
“He’s totally freaking out,” Anne said.
Dipper: So. Okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but uh, hey, thumbs up. Huh? (Backs away)
Gideon: (In a whisper:) Thumbs up indeed, my friend.
Everyone shivered.
“I don’t think even I can put a positive spin on this,” Phineas admitted.
Cut to the exterior of the restaurant, where Mabel is waiting for Dipper, who then exits the restaurant.
Mabel: How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?
Dipper: Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers.
Cut to Gideon's bedroom later on at night.
Gideon: (Breathing heavily) Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done! (Grabs his amulet and a candle starts to levitate and the light bulbs on his boudoir explode. Other things in the room begin to levitate) You've just made the biggest mistake of your life! (Throws the levitated objects on the ground)
Everyone’s eyes widened at the scene.
“He’s actually psychic?!” Sprig exclaimed.
“No, look. It only happens when he touches that amulet,” Candace pointed out.
“He’s still dangerous,” Anne said.
Eda eyed the amulet. Was it from the Demon Realm.
Bud: (Opening the door) Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!
Gideon: I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!
Bud: ...Fair enough. (Closes door)
“He’s a bad parent,” Hopediah said.
Gideon looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel and burns away Dipper's side of the picture. As the screen cuts to black again.
There were some gulps.
“The kid scares me,” Eda admitted.
Cut to Soos and the twins outside. Soos tucks a pillow under his shirt.
Soos: Hit me, dude!
The twins charge at Soos' stomach and bounce off, laughing.
The audience snickered despite how tense they were feeling.
Mabel: I'm so glad everything's back to normal!
Telephone rings.
Mabel: Your turn.
Dipper: (Finishing the sentence about a second after Mabel:) Your turn. Aw, man... (Answers phone)Hello?
Toby Determined says over the phone that he’d like to interview Dipper, who immediately accepts.
Dipper sighed. Looking back it was obvious how he’d been played.
Cut to Toby Determined's residence. Toby hangs up the phone.
Toby Determined: There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay YOUR end of the bargain!
Gideon throws Toby a slip of paper.
Toby Determined: Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!
“That poor woman. She needs to file a restraining order,” Luz said.
Cut to 412 Gopher Road. Dipper opens the warehouse door.
Dipper: (Voice echoing:) Hello?
Dipper turns to leave, only for the door to slam shut. He bangs on the door and turns around when lights start turning on. Gideon swerves around in a swivel chair, petting a doll of himself.
“He’s got the biggest ego I’ve ever seen,” Adyson said.
The two argue about Mabel before Gideon starts throwing him around with his amulet, much to Dipper’s shock.
Many of them shrieked in fright.
“Bad Evil! Bad Evil! Bad Evil!” Doof cried out in fright.
“Huh? What do you mean?” Anne asked.
“Yeah, dude. I thought Evil was your thing?” Soos questioned.
“There’s not one type of evil. There’s Good Evil and then there’s Bad Evil. Good Evil has restraint and involves pettiness or being a crook like this guy,” he gestured to Stan. “Bad Evil is stuff like this. It also includes genocide.” Heinz shivered. “That right there is a big no for me.”
Luz, Anne and Candace adopted contemplative expressions.
Mabel outside of the Mystery Shack, thinking and chewing on her hair.
Wendy: (Walks outside and sits next to Mabel) How's that hair tastin', buddy?
Mabel: Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?
Wendy: Oh yeah: Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson...
Mabel: I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross.
Wendy: ...Mike Worley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with the tattoos...
Mabel: Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up.
Wendy: ...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston... Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me.
Mabel: I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy. (Runs to get a bike and rides off on it)
Wendy: (Takes out her ringing cell phone) Ignore.
Wendy winced at her past actions.
“Sorry Mabel. I really messed up there, didn’t I?”
“It’s okay, Wendy,” Mabel said with a small smile. “Ooh, you’re so cute!” she cooed at King. She ran her hands along his fur. “And so fluffy!”
King sighed.
Is this my life? Being treated like a pet to faun over? I’m practically a god, and this is the best they can think of? Is this all I’m good for?
Eda smirked at the redhead.
“You’re a real heartbreaker, aren’t you?”
“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p.’
The two shared a high-five.
Dipper is running away from the merchandise being thrown at him. Gideon laughs evilly and moves a cabinet to smash Dipper. Dipper jumps out of the way and hits his head on the wall.
Dipper: Grunkle Stan was right about you, you ARE a monster!
“I can’t believe I agree,” Anne said.
Dipper: She's never gonna date you, man!
Gideon: That's a lie. (Looks at a box of lamb shears)And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend. (Levitates the lamb shears)
The audience gasped.
Mabel: (Runs to the window from outside and sees Dipper and Gideon. Opens door) Gideon! We have to talk!
Gideon: M-Mabel. My marshmalla. (Drops the shears)What are you doin' here?
Mabel: I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself.
The others smiled, happy to see that Mabel was finally taking a stand.
Mabel: Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?
“This is another trick, isn’t it? Like what you did with the gnomes,” Isabella grinned.
“I’m not saying anything,” Mabel said cryptically.
Gideon: Really?
Mabel: No, not really! (Pulls off Gideon's amulet and Dipper falls) You were like, attacking my brother, what the heck?!
“Yeah, that’s her job!” Polly and King said together, surprising them both. The two then smiled at each other.
“Great minds think alike,” King praised.
Gideon: My tie! Give it back! (Mabel throws the amulet to Dipper)
Dipper: Ha! (Catches it) Not so powerful without this, are you?
Gideon Screams and charges at Dipper, making him drop the amulet and breaking through the window.
Everyone screamed, momentarily forgetting Dipper was safely there.
Mabel: Dipper!
Dipper and Gideon scream. Gideon slaps Dipper and the two start slapping each other and then start screaming again. Mabel, who is holding the mystic amulet, levitates the two of them and then floats down.
“You have magic, Mabel!” Luz gasped.
“That’s gonna be super useful later,” Anne added.
“Um…” Mabel trailed off.
Mabel: Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you.
Dipper: Yeah!
There were claps and cheers from the audience.
Mabel drops them and throws the amulet to the ground, breaking it.
“Wha- why?!” Luz exclaimed.
“I didn’t think it was a good idea to keep it around,” Mabel answered.
“Regardless, we learned later that that amulet actually damages your soul the more you use it,” Dipper added.
The others blinked.
“Oh…well, good thing you got rid of it,” Jeremy said.
Gideon: MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me! (Walks into the dark forest)
“Please tell me that’s the last you’ll see of him?” Phineas begged.
“I would, but I don’t want to lie to you,” Mabel said.
Cut to the Gleeful residence.
Stan: (Finishes signing papers) Ah, this is livin', brother. (Knocks on the clown painting)
Bud: From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings. (Gideon storms in; to Gideon:) Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I—
Gideon: (Stands on the coffee table) Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!
Stan: Rebuke? Is that a word?
“It is,” Baljeet answered.
Gideon: The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!
Stan: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?
The theater couldn’t help but chuckle.
Bud: Apbap bap but-but sunshine? (Laughs nervously) What about our arrangement with Mabel and—
Gideon: SILENCE!
Bud: Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his rages again. Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one. (Rips up the contract)
“He’s so spineless,” Candace judged.
No one argued.
Stan: Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted. (Grabs the clown painting and starts to leave)
Bud: Stan, I'm-I'm sorry but I'm gonna need that painting back! Stan? STAN!
Stan: (Running away) TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!
Everyone laughed. Eda actually fell out of her seat.
Cut back to the Mystery Shack, where Stan is hanging up the clown painting and the twins are a mess.
Stan: I coulda had it all.
“Well, maybe you can?” Heinz smirked.
“Huh? What are you talkin’ about?” Stan asked.
“You are a crafty businessman. I am a brilliant engineer. Together we’d be the ultimate partners!”
A cash register went off in Pines’ head.
“I’m listening.”
Heinz wrapped an arm around Stan’s shoulders.
“I propose that we expand the Mystery Shack to have a new location in the Tri-State-Area!” he said, waving his hand high at the last three words.
“Hmm…a second Mystery Shack…what would I have to do?”
“All you’d have to do is give good business ideas. I’ll build the -inators, merchandise and exhibits that will make us money. The Shack will be run by a competent employee.”
“I don’t know. Sounds like all I’d need to do is talk, wouldn’t have to do any real work- I’m just kidding! Let’s do it!” The two immediately shook hands and grinned. “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Dipper and Perry shared a nervous look.
“Should we be worried right now?” the young Pines asked.
The monotreme shrugged with uncertainty.
He looks at the twins) What the heck happened to you two?
Mabel: Gideon.
Dipper: Gideon.
Stan: Gideon. Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'.
Dipper: Oh, yeah. Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of? (Laughs)
The audience laughed.
Mabel: He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number.
“You think of negative numbers?!” Baljeet beamed. He then toned it down upon seeing the chastising look Ginger sent his way.
The three Pines laugh at their thoughts on Gideon's next attempt of psychic abilities.
The audience kept laughing.
In Gideon's room. He's making dolls of the Pines family
Gideon: (Playing with the Mabel doll:) Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way.
The audience shivered.
I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be scarier than Susie, Candace thought.
Mabel hugged King tightly. The little Titan, now terrified, reciprocated the gesture completely.
Gideon: (Picks up the Stan doll and imitates Stan:)Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly.
Gideon: (Finishes the Dipper doll; mocking Dipper:)Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?
“He’s gonna grow up to be a serial killer,” Polly bluntly stated.
No one had the energy to chastise her.
Gideon: (Regular voice:) Oh you'll see boy... (Closes Journal 2) You'll see…
Everyone in the other groups’ jaws dropped.
“He has another Journal?!” Sprig exclaimed.
“This is bad. This is really bad,” Luz said.
“How many of these things are there?!” Candace asked.
“Perhaps since we appear to be counting down, three is the maximum number,” Ferb hypothesized.
Everyone looked to Dipper for the answer.
“I can neither confirm or deny that statement.”
The other groups just groaned.
Cut to end credits with Dipper, Mabel and Soos. Mabel turns Soos into a crystal ball.
Stan: You're all fired.
The audience laughed, grateful for the break from the tense scene.
FDUOD, ZKB ZRQ'W BRX FDOO PH?
Dipper once again wrote down the code.
“So…that was a lot,” Luz summed up, trying to keep a calm face
“You’re telling me. That kid really gave me the creeps,” Doofenshmirtz shivered. “Bad Evil.”
“How you feeling, kido?” Stan asked his niece, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Mabel sighed and put King down.
“I’m okay. It wasn’t fun to relive that, but I had all of you with me, and I think it helped,” she answered, giving a small smile.
The others smiled back.
“How about we take a quick break? You could all use it after that episode. Have some more food, lie down, do whatever. The Amphibia episodes should be much easier to deal with.”
Edfn lq wkh klgghq urrp, wkh Jxdugldq zrnh xs iurp klv orqj ryhugxh qds.
“Zkhq’v Surihvvru Wlph vxssrvhg wr eh khuh?” wkh fdw dvnhg zlwk d bdzq.
“Uljkw derxw…” wkh klgghq iljxuh ehjdq.
D sruwdo rshqhg dqg rxw fdph d wlph pdfklqh fduublqj wkh ixwxuh yhuvlrq ri Gu. Grrihqvkpluwc.
“Krz’v lw kdqjlqj, Jxdugldq?”
“…Qrz. Zhofrph, Khlqc. L’p judwhixo wkdw brx dffhswhg pb lqylwdwlrq.”
“Jodg wr eh khuh,” wkh vflhqwlvw vdlg, folpelqj rxw ri klv wlph pdfklqh. “Dv vrrq dv L ohduqhg wkh Jxdugldq dqg Darorwo zhuh lqyroyhg, L nqhz L kdg wr frph. Fdq’w vdb L’p idploldu zlwk brx, wkrxjk? Zkdw duh brx? Dqg zkb duh brx lq wkh gdun?”
“L oryh gudpd. Dqg L zloo uhyhdo pbvhoi dv vrrq dv rxu iuloob iulhqg duulyhv.”
“Zkb lvq’w kh khuh qrz?” wkh Jxdugldq lqtxluhg.
“Kh lv…exvb wklv wlph ri bhdu.”
“Wklv wlph ri bhdu? Zkdw kdsshqv lq Mdqxdub?” Khlqc txhvwlrqhg.
Wkh fdw shunhg xs.
“Mdqxdub?”
“L’p diudlg vr,” wkh krvw vdlg iruoruqob.
“Xjk! Wkrvh gduq dqjhov! Wkhb’uh kdoi wkh uhdvrq L zdqw wr uhwluh!”
“Kxk?”
“Grq'w zruub derxw lw,” wkh vkdgrzhg iljxuh zdyhg rii wkh kxpdq’v frqixvlrq. “Dqbzdb, gr brx kdyh dqb txhvwlrqv derxw rxu djhqgd, Khlqc?”
“Krz idu lq duh wkhb?”
“Wkhb’uh derxw wr zdwfk wkh Dpskleld dgyhqwxuhv.”
“Wkhq L kdyhq’w plvvhg pxfk. Krz gr brx nqrz ph, eb wkh zdb?”
“L kdyh ehhq nhhslqj dq hbh rq wkh dgyhqwxuhv ri pdqb jurxsv dfurvv wkh Pxowlyhuvh. Dqg wkhvh rqhv kdyh pxfk lq frpprq.”
“Krz pxfk duh zh wdonlq’ khuh?”
Wkh iljxuh zdv vlohqw ehiruh wxuqlqj edfn wr wkh vfuhhq vkrzlqj wkh dxglhqfh hdwlqj, wdonlqj, dqg qdsslqj lq wkhlu vhdwv.
“Pruh wkdq brxu khduw fdq wdnh.”
“…Zhoo, wkdw'v ghsuhvvlqj.”
Notes:
Really grateful for the traction this story is getting. If us fans keeps reading fics like this, then we should get a real crossover in no time. 'Cause if Phineas and Ferb can get a reboot, then so can these other shows.
Thank you for answering why questions as well. Your responses were very helpful. Here are some new ones:
1) If you've looked at the tags, then I'm sure you can tell what ships I intend on sailing in this story for the most part; there's two I have planned that I'm saving as a surprise. Well, one is a surprise, the other? Not so much. However, I would like Stan, Mabel and Wendy to have love interests so they won't be "singled" out. Get it? So, who do you think they'd be good with that's already single and will be the same age when they leave? I have an idea for Mabel but I want your input first.
2) Which episodes of P&F are you okay with me skipping?
3) Aside from characters from P&F, who should believe that King is the actual King of Demons before they react to 2x3? Just a thought. I probably don't need your help with this one, but I love reading your answers.
Edited in: 4) Are there any characters you think should be added in? Like Bump for example.
Edited in: Here's the progress tracker for the next chapter. Figured I'd throw you all a bone.
Intro: 1/1
Summaries: 4/4
Reactions: 4/4
Outro: 0/1
Code: 1/1
Chapter 5: It's A Froggy Frog World: Part 1
Notes:
Thank you to all the people who have been reading this story. I'm sorry that it's been two months, but between college, my job and other works I had to update, it was hard to fit it in my schedule. But here it is. And part two will be coming sooner than later. Once I write down the summaries, it should be pretty easy.
Thank you for all the comments as well. Your answers and suggestions have been both fun and helpful. It's also been fun watching you translate the codes. Speaking of, this one has a very special surprise. One that was planned from the beginning and it is gonna blow your minds.
Anyways, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oh, Stacy! Great job realizing it was the wax figures,” Candace praised her best friend. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it first.”
“Aw, it’s nothing, Candyrocks,” Stacy waved off with a smile. Then she frowned. “I did lose a bet though. Alright, what do I owe you?”
Wendy shrugged.
“Just a favor when I want one.”
“Alright.”
The two shook on it.
Meanwhile, Dipper and Perry frowned as they watched Stan and Heinz converse.
“…And that’s how you commit tax fraud and don’t get caught,” Stan explained.
“Wow, I had no idea it was that simple. Thank you!” Doof said, taking notes.
“You’re welcome!”
“We’re gonna have to intervene,” Dipper sighed.
Perry nodded in agreement.
Anne was glaring at the elder Pines.
“I don’t know how to feel about him.”
“We’ll keep an eye on him, Anne. But I think it’s just a big coincidence. Nothing more,” Hop Pop argued.
On the other end of the room, King somehow ended up back in Mabel’s arms and had a resting deadpan.
“Are you gonna let go anytime soon?”
“Uh uh,” she answered, nuzzling into his fluff.
The young Clawthorne just sighed.
I don’t care if he sounds like Bill anymore. He’s so darn cute!
Luz and Eda chuckled.
“You didn’t correct her when she called you Grauntie,” Luz pointed out with a smirk.
Eda shrugged.
“Oh, she was hurting and I didn’t want to add to that. Besides, it has a nice ring to it.”
“Well, everyone, here we go. Time to watch the adventures from Amphibia,” the host announced.
Anne Or Beast
Intro plays
“The heck kind of a music box is that?!” Wendy questioned.
“Uh…spoiler?” Anne said.
Everyone groaned.
“So you and your friends were stuck in another world?” Phineas asked.
Wally leaves Stumpy’s Dinner and walks through the woods playing his accordion while humming. He hears loud rustling caused by a mysterious creature that scares Wally.
“It’s you, isn’t it?” Dipper asked.
Anne shrugged.
Cut to the village inhabitants going about their daily lives. One of them gets carried off by a dragonfly.
“Is he gonna be okay?”Luz asked worriedly.
“Surprisingly, yes,” Hop Pop answered.
The Plantars drive in on Bessie.
“You guys ride snails?” Mabel beamed.
“Yes,” Sprig said.
“That is so cool!” Phineas praised.
Hop Pop: All right, kids I'm gonna do a little shoppin'. You watch the cart.
Sprig: You got it, Hop Pop! I'll defend this cart with my LIIIIIIIFE! (says life while pounding his chest.)
Hop Pop: Sprig, I was talking to Polly.
The audience laughed while the frog boy crossed his arms and grumbled
Sprig: What? Polly's a baby!
Polly: (points at Sprig) You're a baby!
Hop Pop: Polly's got more responsibility in her little flipper than you have in your entire body!
“Ohoho! Burn!” Wendy laughed.
Sprig: Ridiculous. What makes you think I'm irresponsible?
Montage of Sprig acting irresponsible plays.
“Oof! No offense, dude, but this doesn’t look good,” Soos said.
“I know,” Sprig admitted.
Sprig: Okay. So yesterday was a bad day.
“Yesterday?!” everyone exclaimed.
Hop Pop heads into the Grub N’ Go, leaving Polly incharge. Sprig wishes he could prove he’s not a goofoff.
“I’m sorry, Sprig,” Hop Pop sighed.
“It’s okay, Hop Pop.”
Wally comes in screaming.
Mayor Toadstool: Now, simmer down Wally. Just tell us what you saw.
“What the heck? He sounds just like Bud Gleeful,” Stan said, perplexed.
“Oh my gosh, you’re right,” Mabel added.
“Weird,” Luz added.
Wally: Oh, it was horrifying. It had a huge head, A weird, stubby bump right in the middle of its face and long spindly limbs!
“Oh come on, Wally. My head’s not that big, and my limbs aren’t that long,” Anne grumbled.
“How old are you?” Dipper asked.
“Thirteen, why?”
“Because Mabel and I are too. And you are weirdly taller than us.”
“Or maybe you guys are weirdly short?” she argued.
“No, you’re weirdly tall. All of us here will be thirteen in a few months, and were the same height as Dipper and Mabel,” Baljeet explained, gesturing to his friends.
“…Huh.”
The townsfolk are terrified.
Mayor Toadstool: We better catch this beast before it hurts somebody. Because for Mayor Toadstool, your safety comes first.
“Politicians,” Eda and Wendy grumbled before sharing a fist bump.
Sprig vows to capture the monster.
Polly: (Puts one of her flippers up.) Stop right there! Hop Pop said that you had to stay in this cart. (She flexes her muscles.) You know you can't take me!
Some blinked while others laughed.
“Dang, girls! Your bicep gain is awesome!” Luz praised.
“Thanks!”
“This is the most intimidating baby I’ve ever seen,” Doof said.
Perry looked at the tadpole in intrigue.
Sprig offers her candy.
Polly: Bribe accepted!
She starts eating the candy like Pac-Man.
The audience laughed while Hop Pop just sighed.
Sprig: Let the monster hunt begin!
He goes into the forest.
Polly: Don't die!
“He’s not gonna last long,” King deadpanned, causing Polly to laugh.
Cut down to Sprig . He is running along in a forest. He pops out of a log. He then readies a slingshot, then looks down and gasps.
Sprig: Seems like the beast roams these parts. Probably a good place for a tra-aaAAAAHHH!
He is caught in a rope trap and flies into the air. He then falls back down, hanging upside down.
“Knew it,” King said.
Sprig grumbled incoherently.
The beast steps out from behind some bushes, and it's revealed to be... a disheveled human girl. She is panting and holding a pointed stick.
“Wait, how long have you been out there?” Luz asked worriedly.
“Oh, uh…two weeks.”
“Two weeks?!” everyone exclaimed.
Sprig: Giant head! Spindly limbs! Face bump! THE BEEEEAASST!
“Are we really that horrifying to you?”
Anne: Stop following me.
Sprig: I have bad news for you, beast! I taste terrible!
There were some chuckles.
“Does that ever actually work?” Candace wondered.
“Well, it wouldn’t work on cajuns,” Stan said casually.
“What are cajuns and why not?” Sprig asked.
“Do not answer that!” Anne yelled, sending Pines a glare.
“Alright, alright! Sheesh!”
Anne: (puts stick down) Ew, I am not gonna eat you.
Sprig: You tried to eat Wally!
Anne: I tried to ask "Wally" (while doing air quotes) for help. He ran off screaming the second he saw me!
Sprig says that sounds like Wally.
“Well, this is resolving pretty easily,” Eda commented.
A monster-sounding screech is heard. Trees start falling over.
“What was that?!” The kids exclaimed.
“Of course there’s danger. There’s always danger,” Candace sighed.
Anne runs, leaving Sprig. But then she changes her mind and goes back to cut him loose.
The audience sighed in relief.
“Had me worried there for a second,” Luz said.
Anne and Sprig duck under a log. The monster- a giant red mantis- passes by.
Dipper drew a sketch of it in his journal.
“Huh. So, is everything in your world a giant version of animals in our world?” Mabel asked.
“Probably? That sounds about right,” Anne answered.
“Though Amphibia is just one continent. The rest of the world hasn’t been explored yet,” Hopediah continued.
“Just imagine it! So many new places to see! It’d be the adventure of a lifetime!” Sprig cheered.
Sprig and Anne gasp and fall to the ground.
Sprig: You... you saved me! You're not a beast at all! You're a hero! An ugly, ugly, ugly hero!
Anne: Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.
The audience laughed and smiled at the interaction.
“Are we really that ugly to you?” Wendy questioned.
“Definitely/Oh absolutely/Yep,” the Plantars said over each other.
They introduce themselves and shake hands, covering Anne’s in slime.
“Ew,” Stacy complained.
Her stomach grumbles.
Anne: Okay, "Sprig". You got anything to eat?
He lifts up a section of the log. Bugs are crawling around underneath.
“Oh my gosh, look at all those bugs!” someone from the Owl House room screamed.
“Who was that?” Anne asked.
“You’ll meet him later,” Luz said.
“Unfortunately,” King added flatly.
Anne: Things that aren't bugs...?
“What have you been eating then?” Eda asked worriedly.
“Any fruits or vegetables I could find.”
“You must have been starving!” Doof exclaimed.
“…A little bit…”
Everyone sent the girl horrified looks.
Sprig: No bugs, eh? (he eats a bug.) We'll have to hunt around a bit. (he runs off.) C'mon! Follow me!
Anne: How do I know I can trust you?
Sprig: Whaaat? (he makes a cutesy face.) Does this look like a face that could deceive you?
“Nope,” Mabel chirped. “You’re way too adorable.”
Anne concedes to his point and they run off.
Everyone smiled.
Hop Pop returns to see Toadstool rallying a mob.
Mayor Toadstool: Now, when I say "kill," you say "it." Kill!
Villager: It!
Mayor Toadstool: Kill!
Villagers: It!
“This…could be bad,” Dipper said nervously.
Hop Pop: Heh. Another day another mob.
“I’m sorry, you mean to tell us this is normal?” Isabela questioned incredulously.
“Amphibia is complicated,” Hop Pop said.
Hop Pop: Come on kids, time to- What the?!?
He finds a bloated Polly, who sees him.
Polly: I don't have a candy problem! You have a candy problem!
The audience laughed while Hop Pop just sighed.
Anne and Sprig eat some food they found.
Sprig: Mm-hmm. So, first question: What the heck are you, and where did you come from?!
Anne: I'm a human being and I come from...(Shouts) another world! (Stops shouting) Either that, or this is a dream.
“I’m glad it wasn’t a dream,” Anne said, smiling at her frog family.
“Anne…” Sprig began but couldn’t continued because of his tears.
The three then pulled the human girl into a warm embrace.
“Awe~! What a beautiful found-family!” Luz gushed.
Sprig asks if she knows how she got here.
Anne: Nope. One minute, I was in my world and the next thing I knew I was here. I don't know how to get home (sits on rock next to Sprig) or if I even can go home.
Luz frowned in sympathy and sent Anne a compassionate smile.
Anne: So, yup, that's my story. How 'bout you? What were you doing in the woods?
Sprig: Proving that I'm responsible!
Anne: Oh, yeah? How?
Sprig: Uhhhhh…
“And here comes the awkwardness,” Dipper said.
The villagers arrive and tie up Anne.
“Yep. I knew this was gonna happen,” King nodded.
Anne: Dude, what the heck? You set me up? I thought we were connecting!
Sprig: N-no, no, no! This wasn't my plan.
Sprig just bowed his head and sighed.
A giant green praying mantis attacks.
“How many of these things are there?!” Stacy exclaimed.
“A lot,” Polly answered.
The frogs get into the “formation.”
“Is that…is that really supposed to work?” Dipper deadpanned.
The mantis walks away.
The frogs: We have power!
“Who wants to bet that it was something else?” Eda asked.
A red praying mantis arrives. It’s larger than the green one.
Polly: Nope. that scared it off.
Hop Pop: Yeah, that makes more sense.
The audience couldn’t help the snorts that followed..
The mantis attacks.
Villager: It’s gonna eat us!
“Is everyone gonna be okay?” Luz asked.
“They’ll be fine. This is actually pretty normal,” Sprig answered.
“Normal?!” the other groups exclaimed.
“How is this world even habitable?!” Baljeet questioned.
The frogs just shrugged, not knowing the answer.
Anne: NO! Huh? (Sprig is untying her) What is this, another trick?
“Sorry, Sprig,” Anne winced.
“It’s okay, Anne. I should have told you about the mob sooner.”
Sprig denies it and distracts the mantis.
“Yeah! Show that mantis who’s boss!” Wendy cheered.
The mantis is about to kill Sprig.
“Nevermind.”
Anne attacks the mantis, saving Sprig. Her eyes glow blue.
“Yeah! Way to go, Anne,” the others cheered.
Anne was too busy staring at the screen to hear them.
My powers were showing even then?
The two tie up the mantis, defeating it.
The audience cheered and clapped for the pair, who then stood up and took a bow.
Sprig high-fives Anne with his tongue, much to her disgust.
“Heh heh. That’s actually kinda cool,” Soos chuckled.
Mayor Toadstool: Well, now that that's settled, what the heck are we gonna do with this thing? Maybe we oughta run it out of town just to be safe. Let it be someone else's problem.
“Are you kidding me?!” the teens and adults shouted angrily.
“But she helped them? Why?” Phineas questioned.
“People can react badly to things they don’t understand,” Luz explained. Belos was proof enough of that.
Sprig: (Blocks Anne from the villagers) Stop right there! She's not a monster. She's just lost and needs our help. We should take care of her.
The townsfolk are reluctant until Hop Pop agrees to keep an eye on them.
“Best decision I ever made,” Hop Pop said fondly.
Sprig: (holds his arm and looks at Hop Pop, expecting a scolding) Looks like I'm back to causing trouble for the family again, huh?
Hop Pop: (Looks at Sprig, smiling) Trouble? Sprig, standing up to that angry mob to help this creature out was... Some of the bravest and most responsible stuff I've ever seen!
“Hey, looks like you did prove yourself. Congrats, kid,” Jeremy said.
Polly: (Atop Hop Pop's head) That was pretty cool, Sprig. It was also really dumb!
Hop Pop: Yes. Really, really dumb.
The audience chuckled.
Sprig: (Gasps in amazement) You think I'm responsible?
Hop Pop tries to make Sprig understand he meant something else, while Spring enthuses and Anne checks her phone.
Hop Pop: Well, yeah, I mean, just this one time…
Sprig does his victory dance.
The kids and teens all snickered while the adults rolled their eyes fondly at the frog boy’s antics.
Anne: Welp, this has been great, but just give me a map. I've gotta find my way out of this kooky place.
Hop Pop: Oh, a map won't be enough. (Gets out map) This here valley is surrounded by mountains that are impenetrable this time of year.
Polly bluntly says she’ll die if she tries to cross them right now.
“Oof. Yeah, I’d listen to the baby if I were you,” Eda said.
“I’m not a baby! I’m six!” Polly yelled fiercely.
Anne freaks out and worries about where she’ll stay.
Cut to Plantar Farm.
“Woah! Your house is a giant log!” Mabel said, amazed.
“That is so cool!” Phineas praised.
Ferb nodded in agreement.
Sprig: Hey! Gettin' comfy? (Tosses some plushies on ground) Brought some toys to keep you company. I'm too old for these. O-oh, except for this one. Oh, and this one. Oops, this one too. Sorry. This one as well. I'm glad you're livin' with us, monster.
Anne agrees.
“Found family?” Luz asked.
“Found family,” Anne nodded.
“Same here,” she gestured to her group.
The two fist bumped.
Sprig: Okay. (Starts climbing while dropping one of the plushies) Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Seriously, they can drain a body in seconds.
Silence.
“…Well, that’s terrifying,” Heinz said.
Anne pulls out the Music Box and tries to use it repeatedly to no avail.
Anne: Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.
“The gems are gray now,” Dipper noted.
“They’re probably the power source. So, that means that the box is out of power,” Phineas guessed.
“But powerful enough to travel to other worlds? That’s a really big deal,” Luz emphasized.
“Where’d you even get a thing like that?” Candace questioned.
“Uh…” Anne didn’t know how to tell them that she stole it. “You’ll probably find out,” she said uncomfortably.
“Wait, is Amphibia another planet or dimension?” Heinz asked. “The distinction is important.”
“It’s another dimension,” the host explained. “Now, let's watch the next adventure.”
Best Fronds
Anne is at a thrift store on Earth.
Anne : All right, Anne. You can do this.
“Anne?” Luz asked, worried about what had Anne so nervous.
The Boonchuy girl just curled into a fetal position, not able to look at anyone.
She takes the Music Box, puts it in her backpack, and one of her friends gives a thumbs up from outside as she leaves.
Silence.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Anne said before they could say anything.
At night it goes into the moon, and goes down to Anne and her friends in a park. Suddenly, They open the box and there’s a flash of light. Anne wakes up in the room at the Plantar’s.
Anne: [screams, gasps] Guys, guys, guys. I just had the craziest dream. I was trapped in a world of frog pe-- (turns to find the Plantars looking at her) Oh. (hugs her legs) Right.
The audience frowned in sympathy.
Sprig : Hey, Anne. Sleep good?
Hop Pop: Careful, boy! It could be hungry.
Polly : For your guts!
“Seriously?” Dipper deadpanned.
“Amphibia has a lot of creatures that can kill you,” Hop Pop explained. “We had to be careful.”
“I just wanted a fight,” Polly said bluntly.
Anne: Dude, relax. I am not gonna eat something that clearly doesn't bathe.
Flies buzz around Hop Pop, shown close-up to be incredibly dirty. He eats a fly.
Hop Pop: Fair point.
There were snickers from the other groups while Hop Pop just sighed.
Sprig: See? Told you it was harmless.
Hop Pop: Hmph. For now.
Polly: Just give me an excuse to use old Doris here.
Polly holds a rolling pin.
Anne: I think the little one wants to kill me.
“I like your chaotic energy,” Eda grinned.
“Thank you.”
“Awe, she’s so cut being all violent and stuff,” Mabel gushed.
“Yeah… cute,” Heinz said, eying the tadpole in slight fear.
Sprig: Yup. So, you must be so excited to be trapped in another world. Very jealous. (falls down) Oh!
Luz waved her hand in a so-so gesture.
Anne: [chuckles] It's not all that. I miss my home and my stuff and especially... my friends. Without them, I just feel kind of lost. You know?
The various friend groups looked at each other and gave appreciative smiles.
Sprig offers to be her friend in the meantime. Anne starts listing activities she and her friends did.
Sprig: Oh, we've got a lake. Would going there with me make you feel less homesick?
Anne: (giggling) I like your moxie, frog child. Let's do it!
(In one quick montage, Anne gets ready and emerges from the bathroom wearing swimming attire.)
“Ah, the magic of a good montage,” Luz sighed.
“Can never go wrong with a montage,” Phineas agreed.
Just before they reach the door, Hop Pop stops them.
Hop Pop: And where do you two think you're going?
Sprig: We're going to the lake. (stretches his shorts out, but causes them to snap back) Ooh. Ow.
There were a few snickers.
Hop Pop: Absolutely not! Look, Anne. You're a new, unsettling, strange, bizarre, gangly, horrifying--
Anne: Thanks. I got it.
Sprig, Polly, King and Eda couldn’t hold back their snickers.
“I don’t know if we should feel offended by that,” Candace said.
Hop Pop: Point is, the frogs in this town can be pretty small-minded. (He looks through the blinds at some frogs outside) And paranoid. We just need to give 'em time to get used to ya. I think it's best you stay put.
He locks the door and leaves, much to their protest.
“I mean, he makes a good point, but it’s not healthy to stay cooped up inside,” Dipper said.
“I suppose I was being a bit too strict,” Hopediah sighed. “I just didn’t want this poor girl dealing with a town that was ready to chase her off the day before.”
“And I’m grateful for that, HP,” Boonchuy smiled.
Anne: Ugh! Adults are all the same. Curfews. Rules. Old.
Anne chuckled sheepishly as the adults flatly glared at her.
Sprig: Yeah, looks like we're stuck here. Ooh! I know what'll be fun. Let's try some of Hop Pop's pain peppers. So hot, they'll make you wish you were dead.
Sprig picks one up and eats it. He breathes fire a moment later, runs around, slams a pot on his tongue, then drinks water straight from the tap before falling to the floor.
Sprig: Someone just kill me, please! Bleh. [He plays dead for a second, recovers, and jovially holds out a pepper for Anne.] Your turn.
“Woah!” Phineas exclaimed.
“That’d make a cool achievement for the patches,” Gretchen told the other Fireside Girls, who nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, I’m not sure how safe that is for human consumption,” Luz shook her head.
“I don’t know,” King began. “I’d like to be able to breathe fire.”
“I know you would, buddy,” she smiled down at him and petted his skull.
Anne would rather go to the lake.
Anne: Sprig, you wanna know the best thing about friendship? When you got your friends by your side, anything is possible. Whatever you want, a real friend will help you get. And you know what I want?
The audience blinked before exchanging glances. That last part wasn’t… the best view of friendship.
Sprig: The lake!
Anne: Yup. Now let's go rob an old man!
Stan and Eda grinned while the others either blinked or sent Anne weird looks.
Anne: Yeah, that didn't sound as cool as I wanted it to.
“It can be cool,” Stan shrugged.
Dipper sighed.
They look in Hop Pop's study where he's reading at his desk. Sprig comes up with a convoluted plan that becomes unnecessary when they see Hop Pop sleeping with eyes open and snoring.
Anne: No way. This might be the creepiest thing I've ever seen.
Sprig: Happens all the time. He makes a great scarecrow.
“You use me as a scarecrow?!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
Anne takes the key from the coat pocket and they walk out of the study.
Anne: (sighs) This is great. Two pals beatin' the odds to have some fun. Here. Smile! (Takes a picture of them on her phone) Whoa. Hey, that turned out great.
Sprig and Anne smiled at their first photo together.
Sprig: I don't know what's crazier, that you just stole my soul in a tiny box…
The audience laughed.
Sprig: …or that we look so incredible. I gotta say, this friend business is amazing!
Anne: Didn't you have friends before I showed up?
A flashback shows two frogs playing in Wartwood. Sprig pops out of a bush.
Sprig: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys! Check this out! Aaah!
He pretends to be eaten by a creature's skeleton. The other frogs scream. And don’t stop after he says it was a joke.
Everyone laughed until they frowned at the kids’ continued screaming.
Back to the present.
Sprig: Kids around here don't really get me.
“Well, it’s their loss. That was funny,” King praised.
“Yeah, nothing wrong with a good prank every now and then,” Wendy agreed.
“A Sense of humor is a sense of humor,” Jeremy nodded.
The rest of the audience seemed to agree with the three, causing Sprig to smile.
Anne: Well, hey, they are missin' out. Come on.
They arrive at the lake and Anne gives Sprig a friend punch.
“Say, that place doesn’t look half bad,” Stan praised. “Looks like a nice place for fishing.”
They’re about to jump in when they see a warning sign.
Sprig: Oh. This was not here last week.
“Hey, dudes? Maybe going to the lake is not worth it,” Soos argued.
The frog and Thai girl bit their lips.
Perry chatter with a flat look.
“He said ‘You went in anyway, didn’t you?’ Or maybe it was ‘You went to take a poo.’ I’m honestly leaning towards the second one after what he did to my couch,” Heinz said.
Perry punched him for that.
Anne thinks someone wanted the lake for themselves, but Sprig is skeptical and tries to get her to leave.
Anne: Ugh, I thought you were trying to be my friend.
Sprig: I am.
Anne: Well, this is what friends do. Remember? They help each other get the things they want.
Many did a double take upon hearing that. Some sent Anne confused looks.
Anne: Look, if a friend likes a pencil case, you get it for them. If your friend likes your new shoes, you give them to her. And if a friend wants you to steal a crazy music box from a thrift store, even if you don't really want to, you do it, okay? Because if you don't, they might not want to be your friend anymore.
“You don’t… You don’t believe that, do you?” Phineas asked, put off by what he had just heard, and slightly worried.
Anne sighed.
“I was a different person then. And… my view of friendship wasn’t built around the best situation.”
“Your friends pressured you into stealing the music box,” were the words that came from Luz’s lips. It wasn’t a question but a statement.
Her silence was confirmation.
Sprig appears to leave at first. Then he jumps straight into the water and the two friends swim together.
“Well, at least they’re having fun,” Stacy sighed.
Anne takes a picture of Sprig.
Anne: (distracted) Uh...
Sprig: I was blinking, wasn't I?
He turns around and sees what Anne's looking at: a giant water snake.
There were screams from the audience.
“Hot Belgian Waffles!” Stan exclaimed. “I take back what I said. That lake is not good for fishing!”
“Run! Or swim or whatever!” King shouted.
They swim away screaming as the beast roars.
Anne: Stupid non-webbed human hands.
Sprig: Anne! (grunts) Ah. That explains the sign.
“Ya think?!” Wendy exclaimed indignantly.
Hop Pop sighed.
“All this happened while I was asleep,” he said with a head shake.
Anne: Sprig, I'm just slowing you down, buddy. Get out of here. This was my fault anyway. I should have listened to you.
“Good that you’re owning up to your mistakes.
Sprig: Friend punch!
Anne: Ow! Hey.
There were a few chuckles despite the tense atmosphere.
Sprig: Never! I'm not about to let my first real friend get eaten. We're in this together.
Everyone smiled at the frog boy’s loyalty.
“Hey, Sprig? What about Ivy?” Anne whispered.
“We drifted apart after the… Heron Attack. It wasn’t until a little after this that she and I reconnected,” he explained.
“That’s one way to put it,” Anne teased and wiggled her eyebrows.
“Shut up,” he countered, lightly shoving her.
Anne: Uh, any ideas? Ah! What are you doing?
Sprig: I have a plan.
“Good. Always good to have a plan for these things,” Dipper nodded.
Sprig jumps into the snake’s mouth.
“OH MY FROG!/WHAT THE H?!/SWEET TITAN! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!” the adults screamed at the top of their lungs.
“That’s your plan?!” Candace and Dipper shouted incredulously.
“How are you alive?!” everyone else exclaimed.
Anne: Sprig! Vengeance!
She tries to attack the snake but is thrown into the lake. She gasps when the water snake appears above her, only to start emitting smoke from its mouth and spitting a screaming Sprig out.
Everyone sighed in relief.
“What did you do?” Isabella asked.
Anne: You're alive. What did you do?
Sprig: (pulls out a pain pepper) So hot, they'll make you wish you were dead.
“And it looks like he couldn’t take the heat,” Sprig smirked and then bowed before the group.
“Oh, that makes sense,” Polly said.
“Huh. Pretty clever,” King added.
“And pretty reckless,” Hop Pop frowned. “You got lucky, Sprig. Don’t ever try that again.”
Both laugh until the water snake roars again, at which point they start swimming away.
“Yeah. Don’t even look back,” Stacy winced.
Hop Pop: [sighs, mumbles] [gasps] I'm up! I'm awake! The key. It's gone! Oh, no. Did they get out? Is the town rioting? Are they dead? Has Anne eaten the kids, THE WHOLE TOWN?
The humans present sent flat glares at the old frog.
“Really?” Baljeet deadpanned.
Anne and Sprig are playing a game with dice.
Anne: Come on. Mama needs a new pair of shoes. Seriously though, I do need new shoes.
“You still only have one shoe?” Eda questioned.
“Huh?” Anne looked down at her feet. “Ah, come on!”
Hop Pop: You guys been here all day, huh?
Anne: Yeah, dude. I'm on a winning streak.
Sprig: I owe her my first-born child.
Stan and Eda laughed while the others gaped at the pair of young friends.
“We were having joke bets at that point,” Anne raised her hands in defense. Then she turned to Sprig and smirked. “Although, I think I would like to cash in as the godmother.”
“Hmm, let me ask the future father,” he pretended to think. “He says yes.”
“Yes!” Boonchuy celebrated with a fist pump. Then she leaned in close and smirked. “Just think, me, the godmother of a Sprivy Baby.”
Sprig immediately started blushing up a storm.
Anne gives him the key, lying that it fell out of his pocket.
Hopediah sighed.
Polly: (holding the rolling pin) Aha!
Anne: 'Sup, Polly?
Polly: You're not gonna eat us, are you? You're not even gonna try. Dis-a-ppointing.
She sighs dramatically and hops away.
“You are so adorably violent!” Mabel chuckled.
“Oh, I like her,” Eda grinned.
“You two have a lot of energy don’t you?” Isabella asked.
“Yep,” Mabel and Polly answered.
Isabella shared a look with her troupe and seemed to be having a silent conversation with them.
Anne: Hey, sorry I almost got us killed today.
Sprig: Are you kidding? That was the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me! My heart was beating faster than a dragonfly on a sugar rush. In fact, I'm feeling a little... sleepy.
He falls asleep.
“Adventuring will do that to you,” Ferb nodded.
Anne: Sasha, Marcy, I hope you guys are okay, because I am.
Everyone smiled at that.
Meanwhile, in a tower during a rainstorm, a toad looks into a jail cell.
Captain Grime : Take a look at this please, Sasha. (holds up Anne's missing shoe) It was found far from here, in the South Forest. Now we know that you've been lying to us. (shows an imprisoned Sasha) Now we know that there are more of you.
Everyone gasped.
Oh, so that’s how they met. Not what I expected, Anne thought.
“She’s been captured by bad guys!” Mabel exclaimed.
“Who is he?” Luz asked.
“Spoilers,” Polly answered.
Everyone just groaned.
“Will she at least be okay?” Phineas inquired.
Anne nodded.
“Well, that’s a relief,” Doof sighed.
“Here comes the next adventure, everyone.”
Cane Crazy
At the Plantar Farm, Sprig is looking at Anne's stuff.
Sprig : Wow, Anne, look at all your cool stuff! What's this? (He picks up a toenail clipper.) Ah, I get it. Torture device.
Eda nodded. She’d sold one of those before.
Anne : That's a toenail clipper.
Clawthorne blinked.
Really?
Sprig: Oh, okay, okay, sure. Oh! How about this? [He holds up a bike pump.] What does this do? (He pumps air into his mouth and speaks with a muffled voice.) It's painful. [The air hisses as it comes out] Oh, and this. (He clicks a cat pen.) Oh, I love this. This is amazing.
Luz giggled.
“You remind me of one of my friends. I think you two would hit it off over human stuff.”
“Then I can’t wait to meet them,” Sprig said.
A bell's clanging is heard from upstairs.
Hop Pop : Kids! Chow time!
In the kitchen, Hop Pop is serving a meal. Anne and Sprig bang their fists on the table while Polly flaps her arms.
Kids: Time to eat! Time to eat!
“Huh, I wonder what foods you frogs cook,” Dipper thought aloud, pulling out his pen and journal.
Hop Pop hands out everyone's food, and Anne is immediately put off by it.
So is everyone else.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Luz said, covering her mouth.
“Oh… oh no,” Candace added, looking a little green.
“Yeesh, what even is that?” Stan questioned. “Not that I actually wanna know.”
“That’s giving me backstories about Drustelsteinian food,” Heinz said, repulsed.
Anne: Ugh! Uh, you know what? I think I'm gonna pass. [She gently pushes her bowl ahead.]
Hop Pop: Why? Is my food not good enough for the princess?
“Uh, dude, I don’t think humans can eat that stuff,” Soos explained.
“Say what? Oh. That explains a lot,” Hop Pop sighed.
Anne: Well, if I'm the princess, then you're the king of bad cooking. [chuckles]
Sprig and Polly ‘Ohhh’.
The teens snorted.
Hop Pop: Oh, yeah? Well, you... I...
Anne: What's the matter, Hop Pop? Frog in your throat?
The teens began to snicker.
Hop Pop: Oh, dang it! You know what? I'm gonna take a nap. I don't believe this. I feed you, I house you, and this is how you repay me? If you don't shape up soon, Anne, I'm throwin' you out!
He slams his bedroom door and a flower vase falls down.
“Excuse me?” Stan questioned in a dangerously angry voice. “Look, you wrinkled orange, I get that she was being disrespectful, but you should never make that kind of threat! Even if you don’t mean it!”
“Yeah!” Heinz agreed. “She’s a kid! You don’t say that to a kid. Because sometimes, the threats are real!”
Everyone just stared at the two, not expecting such a reaction from them.
The pair blinked before sharing a glance.
“Were you…?” Heinz whispered.
“Spoilers,” Stan answered in a hushed voice. “You?”
“Spoilers,” he nodded.
Anne: Yeesh. What's his problem? [She grabs a cane and hunches over speaking like an old man] I'm Hop Pop, and I cook bad and have a temper problem!
They laugh
Sprig: That's so Hop Pop!
Hop Pop grumbled as the teens started to laugh.
Anne: Eat your aphids, don't play with them. Elbows off the table!
The siblings laugh again.
The audience were thoroughly enjoying themselves at the grandfather’s expense.
Anne: Sometimes I wonder why I even bother putting up with you at all!
She breaks the cane; Sprig and Polly gasp.
“Oo,” Dipper winced. “That doesn't look good.”
Hop Pop sighed.
Anne: Oopsies. Guess I don't know my own strength, right, guys? You guys okay? What's the big deal? It's just one cane.
Sprig: That wasn't just any cane. It was Hop Pop's special cane, passed down from his father, Hop Poppity Pop, all the way from his father, Hop-and-Lock-Drop Soppity Pop.
Everyone was seething at that.
“I’m sorry, Hop Pop,” Anna said.
“You already apologized, Anne. What’s done is done.”
Anne: Oh! You guys gotta help me. He's gonna kick me out the second he finds out about this. I cannot go back to living in a cave!
A flashback begins with a thunderclap. Anne is curled up on the cave floor as dozens of bugs surround her. Water falls on her face.
Anne: Uhhh! The nights were the hardest.
Everyone gasped.
“Are you okay?!” Luz exclaimed.
“Guys, I’m fine now,” Anne placated. “But yeah, it was hard at first.”
Sprig: Don't worry, Anne. We'll do whatever it takes to help you.
Polly: Eh, count me out.
Sprig: Polly!
Polly: What? I hardly know her.
“That’s harsh,” Wendy said.
Anne: Would you help me for one of these?
She pulls a candy bar out of her pocket.
Polly: (gasps) Candy from another world? Lady, you've got yourself a deal.
There were a few snickers.
They try to fix it but fail. So they decide to go to Loggle.
“You tried to fix it?” Hop Pop blinked.
The kids nodded.
Loggle : Uh-huh. Oh, oh, yes. Well, aren't you fascinating? Yes, you are.
Anne: Can you fix it?
Loggle: As a matter of fact, I can... not.
“Uh, what was that?” Candace questioned.
“Loggle has speaking problems,” Sprig explained.
Sprig: Huh. Can you make a new one?
Loggle: Absolutely... no way.
“Okay, this is just getting annoying,” Stan complained.
Polly: Do you have one we could buy?
Loggle: Of course I do... n't. I don't.
The audience groaned.
Anne: Why do you keep doing that?
Loggle: Old smithing accident. You don't want to know.
Anne: Uh, okay, so–
Loggle: Tripped on an anvil. Landed neck-first on a metal pipe. Pierced my voice box clean through!
“Ouch,” they all winced.
Loggle: Switched over to wood after that. Anyhow, I'm afraid I can't do much for you. That cane was made with wood from the incredibly rare, extremely dangerous Doom Tree!
They all gasp.
“A perilous quest. Alright,” King said, rubbing his hands together eagerly.
“Wow. I had no idea it was that special. But what exactly happened with you kids?” Hop Pop asked.
“Uh…” they trailed off.
Loggle: Few have made it to the Doom Tree alive, fewer yet returned. It holds many secrets that mortals dare not--
Anne: Dude, it's a tree. Just tell us where it is.
There were some snorts.
Sprig: Yeah, Loggle, cut the chitchat!
Polly: You're bald!
Eda laughed. She really liked this kid.
Loggle: Okay, okay. I got a map to the Doom Tree right here, but it'll cost ya.
Anne: Click.
She takes a picture with her phone and shows it to Loggle.
Loggle: Or you could do that for free.
“Ah, the benefits of modern technology,” Baljeet sighed dreamily.
They run off as Loggle tells them it’s cursed.
“Maybe you should listen to him?” Mabel proposed.
“We were in a hurry and just thought it was a tree,” Anne explained.
Sprig: Yeah! (He stops to see a wooden statue of a buff Loggle) Whoa, Loggle. We gotta talk about this, man. We're comin' back. We're gonna talk about this. All right, good-bye.
“I still can’t believe Loggle is buff now,” Polly whispered. “He looks just like his statue.”
After some time traveling they finally arrive.
Anne: [grunting] Hold up. We're here. Now, that is an ugly tree.
Sprig: Just one of Mother Nature's horrible mistakes.
“Something’s definitely off here,” Luz said with narrowed eyes.
Polly sees a skull.
Polly: (chuckles) Frogs died here.
“It’s definitely dangerous,” Dipper concluded.
“Agreed,” Mabel added.
“I’m more worried by how cavalier you are with death,” Heinz admitted.
“I think it’s actually kinda funny,” King stated before sharing a high five with the tadpole.
Anne: Look. That branch is perfect. She climbs up the tree.
Polly: You people and your legs.
Polly looked down and sighed, seeing that her legs were invisible.
Just wait until they can see my legs. Then I’ll tear this whole place up!
Anne: Careful. The tree is cursed. Pfft! (laughs)
There’s some shrieking.
A pause.
“Run,” Stacy said.
Anne: Uh, did the tree just scream?
The Doom Tree roars, spitting at them a little.
Sprig: Oh, hey, it's maple.
“Huh,” Dipper noted that tidbit down.
They run away.
Anne: That thing is not a tree. It's some kind of grody bug!
Sprig: A bug that wants to kill us!
Polly: Less talky-talky, more runny-runny!
“Interesting,” Dipper said as he sketched the creature. “Just like how some bugs blend in with sticks on our world.”
Loggle: (sighs) Well, Loggle, another day, another step closer to bankrupt-- Eh?
The Doom Tree chases them into Loggle’s shop.
The adults shared nervous looks.
Anne: What's it gonna take to get rid of this thing?
Anne finds a clock.
Anne: Oh, this is nice.
She throws it at the bug and it shatters.
Leopold Loggle: That took 20 years to carve.
There was a collective wince at that.
“Anne, I hope you helped him fix it later,” Hop Pop chided.
“Don’t worry, I did.”
They throw anything they can find at the beast but none of it seems to be working. Until Anne finds a jar of termites.
“Termites? Are those there as a joke?” Candace asked.
“Probably,” Wendy shrugged.
“It’s a paradox to be sure,” Soos said
Anne: Termites! Why would a woodsmith have termites?
Loggle: I'm a complicated man!
They shrugged. It was the best answer they were gonna get. And pretty funny too.
Anne hurls the jar of termites and they eat the wood covering the insect, leaving it naked.
Everyone was quiet.
Polly: Uh...
Sprig: Cool.
Anne: This world is messed up.
“I’ve seen worse,” Luz sighed.
The bug whimpers and leaves.
Anne: Up top!
Sprig: We did it!
Polly: That was awesome, you guys!
Anne: Now, let's get this cane back to Hop Pop.
Loggle takes the new cane.
“Well, he’s rightfully upset,” Baljeet conceded.
Loggle: I'll tell you what gives. This doesn't even begin to cover the damages you've caused to my shop. You're gonna have to give me something else. Come on. Pony up.
Sprig gives him the pen.
Loggle: Oh. (clicking) Oh! I like this. You can go.
“They like pens, huh?” Stan smirked.
“Hmm. Maybe there’s a way we can make money off these frogs,” Heinz proposed.
“You read my mind!”
Dipper and Perry just sighed.
Sprig: Sorry, Anne. After all we worked for too.
Anne: It's okay. We'd better head home. Hop Pop's probably already awake and furious.
Polly: Probably a bad time to bring this up, but I still get the candy, right?
Eda chuckled.
“You are officially my favorite in your group.”
“Thanks, lady!” Polly beamed.
Hop Pop: [yawns] Whoa, boy. I needed that. Hope nothing happened while I was asleep to make me mad again. (He sees the kids' expressions) Oh, no. What did you do?
Anne tells him how she broke the cane.
Anne: I know, I know. I'll show myself out.
The kids start bawling.
Everyone frowned at the sight.
Hop Pop: What the-- What's going on?
Anne: You're throwing me out. You know, like you said you would.
Hop Pop: [sighs] Mmm. Anne, truth be told, I was never gonna throw you out. I was just talking tough so that you'd show me a little bit more respect.
“You still shouldn’t have done it,” Stan glared.
Hop Pop bowed his head in shame.
Anne: That's kinda messed up, man.
Hop Pop: Heh heh heh. [inhales] Yeah. I probably was a little bit too harsh. But I only did it because you remind me of myself when I was your age. Rough around the edges. Now, put that bag down, young lady. You're not going anywhere.
The audience smiled upon hearing that. Things were looking up.
Anne: Thanks, Hop Pop. So you're not mad about the cane?
Hop Pop: Oh, I'm furious about the cane. You're on dish duty for a month!
“Yeah, that’s fair,” Dipper nodded.
Hop Pop: Now that that's settled, I wrote a long list of comebacks to get you back for this morning. (clears his throat) "Hey, Anne, is that your hair, or is it a dandelion?" Ha.
Most just looked at the frog awkwardly. Though a few of them chuckled.
Hop Pop: [sniffles] Uh-- Oh. Are those long, lanky limbs, Anne, or are those, uh, twigs? Ah! [chuckles] Eh...
Everyone looked at Anne’s limbs.
“I had a growth spurt,” she explained.
Sprig: [coughs]
Hop Pop: The moment has passed, hasn't it?
“Yes,” King said bluntly.
“Meh. Those were pretty good, but your timing needs work,” Eda mentioned.
“I figured as much,” the eldest Plantar stated.
“After this adventure, we’ll be in the halfway point for Amphibia today, ladies and gentlemen.”
Flood, Sweat and Tears
Anne and Sprig at the Plantar's front yard. Anne is holding a tennis racket.
Sprig: You ready?
Anne: You set 'em up, and I'll knock 'em down.
“Set what up?” Mabel asked.
“Oh, you’ll see,” Sprig grinned.
He sends giant flies her way, and she hits them with the racket.
Sprig: (As he pops out from the ground) Nice swing!
Anne: I was on varsity.
Both perform their own handshake and laugh.
Everyone had small smiles at the interaction.
“Ah. No matter where you go, you can always make new friends,” Phineas sighed.
Wally: (playing his concertina) A frog child and a monster from the woods getting along? So unnatural.
Anne: Pssh! Of course we get along. We're Sprig and Anne.
Sprig: Anne and Sprig
Anne and Sprig: (poses with Sprig standing off Anne's hip) Spranne against the world!
“Spranne against the world!” the two cheered and smiled at one another.
The rest of the audience smiled at the pair.
Wally: Disgusting.
He keeps playing his concertina and walks off.
“Ah, what does he know!” Mabel scoffed.
Suddenly, Hop Pop screams from inside the house. They run inside to help him and find Anne’s room is flooded.
“Your room!” Luz exclaimed.
Sprig: Hop Pop?
Hop Pop pops out of the water with a comical gasp.
There were a few chuckles.
Hop Pop: (screaming) Stay back! Darned burrow bugs must have chewed the water pipes!
“Wow. And I thought pests on Earth were bad,” Candace blinked. “But you guys have it way worse.”
Anne: My room! My stuff!
Hop Pop: (Putting Anne's bag on the stair) Don't worry, Anne. I saved your stuff. Except your bed. And your blankets. And your pillow, pencils, T-shirts, hairbrush.
“So, what did you save?” Adyson asked.
“Her bag and what was in it,” Plantar answered.
Anne: Just how long till it's fixed?
Hop Pop: Well, gotta find the leak, then patch it up good.
Sprig wants to help but Hop Pop doesn’t let him.
Hop Pop: This here's river water. No tellin' what creepy critters are swimmin' around.
A river lamprey reveals its eyes above water and then swims again.
“Yeah, I’d listen to him if I were you,” Dipper said.
Anne: Uh, so where am I gonna sleep?
Hop Pop: Well, the living room ain't no palace, but the couch is comfy.
Sprig: Uh, hello. (Swinging his tongue to Anne) Anne can bunk with me in my room. How fun will that be?
Anne: Roommates? Heck yeah!
To the surprise of everyone, Dipper and Mabel let out long guffaws.
“Why are you laughing? It should be easy for them to be roommates,” Phineas questioned. Ferb nodded in agreement.
The twins shared a look and laughed even harder. It was a full minute before they finally calmed down, wiping away a few tears.
“Oh, man. I needed that,” Dipper smiled.
“Hehe, me too,” Mabel chuckled..
“Care to explain?” King asked.
“Mabel and I have been roommates all summer. And if there’s one thing that we’ve learned, it’s that sharing a room will drive us both crazy.”
“We can’t say all the details because of spoilers,” Mabel added. “But just know that we both do things that annoy each other.”
“Really? Ferb and I have never had that problem,” Phineas said, obviously confused.
“The two of you work in perfect harmony. It’s a scientific fact,” Baljeet reasoned.
“How long do you think they’ll last? Cause I don’t see them going past a month,” Mabel told her brother.
“You kidding? With their different biologies, they’d be lucky to survive two weeks!” Dipper chuckled.
“Say, I think I smell a new bet brewing!” Stan grinned, rubbing his hands together.
“I’m in,” Eda immediately said. Then she pulled a bag out of her pocket. “I’ll give you all my snails.”
Stan pulled a face.
“Uh… snails?”
Eda opened the bag to reveal several gold coins.
The conman’s eyes turned to saucers as he beamed.
“Lady, you got yourself a deal!” He started looking through his pockets before holding up carkeyes. “Here’s my–wait a minute! What am I doing?!” He looked down at the keys in horror. “I lost my precious Stanley Mobile once. Never again,” he declared and put them back in his pocket. He opened his wallet and took out some green bills. “I’ll just throw in a hundred dollars.”
“Hmm… Stanley Mobile… Why does that sound so familiar?” Eda wondered.
“Who knows?!” Luz exclaimed with a fake smile. “Sometimes we all just hear things and we think they remind us of something else.”
“I guess, kid,” her mentor shrugged.
The younger audience members sighed in relief.
“Who else wants in? Kids?” Stan asked.
“No thanks. I think I’ll settle for my current winnings,” Mabel answered, looking over said winnings with a smile.
“I’ll give it a shot,” Dipper shrugged. He threw his hat into the pile. “I wager they won’t last two weeks.”
“One week,” Stan bet.
“Five days,” Eda smirked.
Hop Pop: I don't know. Bein' friends is one thing, but roommates? Ya think ya know someone until they're in your space and you're in theirs, and ya can't stand how they whistle all the time, and they complain whenever ya clean your web crusties out. (yelling) "Yes, I have to do it in our room! It has the best lighting!"
“Oh, you–you went through the same thing, didn’t you?” Anne asked.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Hopediah sighed.
Hop Pop: My point is-- (He sees that Anne and Sprig have already left.) And they're gone. Mark my words though. No good will come of this. No good at all.
“We should have listened to him before the start,” Sprig said.
“Yep,” Anne agreed.
Sprig opens the door to his room, giving Anne the tour, starting with his “doll collection.”
Sprig: (chuckles) No. These are my action figures of the Great Battle of--
Anne: Incoming!
The two then have a fun pillow fight.
“Ah, nothing beats a good old fashioned pillow fight,” Gretchen sighed.
“Agreed,” Mabel said.
Sprig: It's fun 'cause it doesn't hurt! (being hit) Ow!
There were a few chuckles.
He swings the pillow and almost drops one of his action figures.) Oops! Just gonna move General Bogbreath safely over here.
Anne: Yeah, gotta keep that doll out of harms way-- (Being hit in the stomach) Ooh!
Sprig: Time in!
The fight continues.
“I still don’t see how this can go wrong,” Phineas admitted.
“You didn’t notice that total foreshadowing about the doll?” Soos questioned.
Cut to their sleep time. Night 1 begins.
“Here we go,” Eda grinned, rubbing her hands together. “Mama needs some new apple blood.”
“That’s a strange way of saying apple juice,” Heinz stated.
“It isn’t,” Eda smirked.
Anne keeps Sprig awake with her questions.
“That’s one,” Mabel said.
At midnight, Anne starts to sweat, so she opens the window. Sprig gets cold, so he closes it and goes back to sleep. Anne spots that and glares at him.
“That’s two,” Dipper noted.
The next morning at the Plantar's house, Hop Pop kicks Sprig's bedroom door open while carrying Polly.
Hop Pop: Rise and shine, sleepyheads! Ya missed breakfast!
Anne: (Facing upsidedown, groaning) Go away.
Polly: (As she pumps onto Sprig and wakes him up) First time I've ever seen you sleep in so late. What gives?
Sprig: I froze solid in the night and finally just thawed.
He unfreezes himself.
“Oof!” everyone collectively winced.
Anne and Sprig begin to argue over a solution to the temperature.
“That’s it. Just a little more bickering and I’ll win that sack of gold,” Stan grinned.
“You’re rooting for them to fight? Are you sure you’re not evil?” Doof asked.
Stan just sighed.
Hop Pop: Y'know, the couch is still free in case there's trouble in paradise.
The two play it off and happily leave.
Polly: They're gonna eat each other alive.
Hop Pop: Oh, absolutely.
There were a few snickers.
“Come on, you guys. I’m sure it’ll work out,” Phineas argued with Ferb nodding in agreement.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” Sprig drawled out, causing the two brothers to frown.
Night 2
Anne turns on the light, reads a book and eats a snack loudly. Sprig faces the wall and uses a pillow to cover his ears.
Mabel sent her brother a look with a raised eyebrow and his eyes widened in realization.
So, this is what it’s like for her.
Night 3
Sprig sleeps while croaking. The noise wakes Anne up. Then Sprig swings his tongue to her place.
“Ew/Gross,” the audience went.
Night 4
Anne and Sprig take turns to open and close the window.
The Flynn-Fletcher boys’ frowns deepened at the scene. Seeing this, Candace patted them both on the back.
Night 5
Anne turns on the light and Sprig growls.
“Come on. Break the griffin’s back,” Eda encouraged.
“Don’t you mean the ‘camel's’ back?” Soos asked.
“What the heck is a camel?”
Night 6
“No~!” Eda bellowed.
“Yes~!” Stan cheered. “I beat you! I! BEAT! YOU!”
He reached for the bag of snails but the Owl Lady slapped his hand.
“You may have beat me, Pines. But your nephew still has a flier in this race,” she said with narrowed eyes.
“Flier?” Isabella questioned.
Sprig throws his wet towel on Anne. She then sees him cleaning his web crusties and shudders disgusted.
Many in the audience cringed at the sight.
“Oh, so that’s what it’s like from this perspective,” Hop Pop realized.
Night 10
Stan’s jaw dropped before exclaiming, “What?!”
“Dipper, you won!” Mabel cheered.
“I won?” her twin blinked. He looked around to see his friends giving him smiles and thumbs ups.
“Way to go, dude,” Wendy praised.
“Nice job,” Candace added.
“I don’t like that you were betting against me and Sprig, but I’m glad you beat that old guy,” Anne said.
“Hey!” Stan shouted indignantly.
Dipper turned to his competitors and smirked.
“I’ll be taking these,” he said, collecting the money and his hat.
Eda chuckled and gave the boy a thumbs up. Stan couldn’t hold back the small smile that wormed its way onto his face.
Both his kids had made him proud today.
Anne picks up her clothes but steps on a rollerskate and falls. The rollerskate hits the wall and almost drop Sprig's action figure until he catches it. They look each other and laugh awkwardly.
“Oh, yeah, this is it. This is the night it all goes down,” Stacy nodded.
At Anne's room, Hop Pop is still looking for the leak.)
Sprig: (Opening the back doors) Hey, Hop Pop. How much longer, ya think? Tonight?
Hop Pop: Not a chance.
Sprig: Oh, let me help, let me help! You know my underwater sight is better than yours. (He tests his eyes.) Eh? Eh?
Hop Pop: That's a bunch of malarkey! My eyesight's fine! (pauses) Who's that, Sprig?
There were a few chuckles at the grandfather’s expense.
Hop Pop: Anyway, don't you have chores to do?
Sprig groans and goes away.
Anne: (As she opens the main doors) Hey, Hop Pop, what's the ETA on things down here? Not that I'm in a hurry to move back in or whatever. (Hop Pop glares at her.) What? I'm just curious. A girl can't ask about her flooded makeshift bedroom without getting grilled? Sheesh.
Phineas and Ferb wilted at the sight.
That night, Anne and Sprig enter his room exhausted.
Sprig: (scoffs and yawns) Wow, what a long day. Goin' straight to bed, if I, uh, can get there without tripping over all these dirty clothes.
Anne: I think it's your wet towels on the ground that'll get in your way.
Sprig: (muttering) I can leave my towels on the floor of my room.
Anne: What was that?
Sprig: Oh, nothing, best roomie. Anyways, good night.
“This is so painful to watch,” Luz said.
Anne tries to ask him a question, but he doesn’t respond. She starts a pillow fight and he dodges but she accidentally hits his action figure and breaks it apart.
“There it is,” Dipper nodded.
Anne: Oh, no! Y-Your doll-- Uh, I mean, action figure. (pauses) Spranne against the world. Right?
Sprig: (replying blankly) I have to go to the bathroom.
He exits the room while staring at his friend.
“I’m sorry, Sprig,” Boonchuy apologized.
“It’s okay, Anne. I’m over it.”
Sprig enters the flooded room and goes underwater.
Sprig: Where's that darn leak? Come on! Come on!
Anne enters the room and sinks underwater as well.
There were some snorts.
Both come out and take their breath.
Anne: Oh, that leak has got to be around here somewhere.
Sprig: I know, right?
Both gasp
Many of them were cackling now.
They each pretend that they’re only there for a nighttime swim, but quickly drop the act.
Anne and Sprig: (blaming) You came down here to fix the leak! Yeah, well, so did you!
Sprig: I knew it! You just couldn't wait to move out!
Anne: And you just couldn't wait to get rid of me! If you wanted me gone, you should have just said so-- Aah!
She is being dragged down by a river lamprey.
“Anne!” the audience exclaimed.
Sprig tries to help her but ends up being dragged as well. They are being caught underwater. Anne pushes a lamprey on a ladder and sets herself free. Sprig hits on another's eyes and swims above. Later, they are surrounded by two lampreys.
“How dangerous are these things?” Dipper asked, sketching one in his journal.
“They can drain all the blood out of you,” Sprig answered with a shrug.
The audience gulped.
Sprig: River lampreys! What are we gonna do?
Anne: They're too fast. We can't fight them underwater. (She sees her wet blanket and pillows floating.) Huh. Hey, Sprig. You set 'em up…
She takes a pillow and gives Sprig one.
Sprig: You knock 'em down.
“Yeah! Take ‘em down!” the audience cheered.
He swims into the water and distracts the two fishes. He hits one to above water and Anne hits it. The two fishes then make a spinning attack but Anne jumps on the bed and hits them. The lampreys collide with the wall. Finally having enough, the lampreys sink underwater and dig a big hole at the bottom and suck all the water out.
The audience clapped and cheered for the two, who got up and took a bow.
“That’s a pretty good arm ya got there,” Stan praised.
“Uh, thanks?” Anne said, not sure how to react to getting compliments from him.
Hop Pop: What the heck's going on down here?
Polly: Some of us are TRYING TO SLEEP!
Sprig and Anne defend themselves, only to realize it is Hop Pop and Polly.
Hop Pop: So roommate thing didn't work out, huh?
Anne and Sprig: (sigh) Not really.
Anne: I just couldn't live with him! The wet towels, the heat, the humidity. The web crusties. (feels disgusted)
Some of the watchers gagged a little.
Sprig: The loud snacking. The freezing cold. Lights on at all hours. Guess Spranne really is a bust.
Anne: Yeah.
Phineas and Ferb frowned deeply. Seeing this, Hop Pop sighed.
“Look kids, not all friends are good roommates. Just because they can’t live together doesn’t mean they won’t be good friends,” Plantar explained.
“Yeah, guys. For example, Stacy and I are super close, but sharing a room would never work out,” Candace said.
“Yeah. We’ve had enough sleepovers to know I’d never be able to put up with her snoring,”Stacy added.
“And I’d never last against her being a morning person.”
Hop Pop: Why? Because you're finally talking? Sharing a room doesn't make you friends. Being honest with each other does. In fact, if you ask me, you're better friends now than you were before.
(Anne and Sprig smile.)
Sprig: Of course we are!
Anne: Yes! Spranne is back and better than before!
Both do their own handshake and laugh again.
“Ya see?” Hop Pop gestured to the screen.
The two brothers smiled.
“Yeah, you guys are right,” Phineas said and Ferb nodded.
Polly: Aw, how sweet. So where's Anne gonna sleep then? Not with me. My bucket's for one.
“You sleep in a bucket?” King asked.
“Well, I am a tadpole.”
Cuts to the couch in the living room, where Anne can open the windows and sleep comfortably. Sprig gives her some loud snacks and heads to bed. Anne finally can eat snacks and read a book on her own, but the quiet atmosphere with only the ticking clock noise makes her feel a bit lonely. She sighs, then sees a can with a spring connected to it.
Sprig: (on the speaker) So, Anne, would you rather smell like rotten eggs or have hiccups every day for the rest of your life?
Everyone smiled at the interaction.
Anne: Oh, good one. I think I'd... (The living room floods.) Didn't anyone fix the leak?!
“What the heck?! After all that?!” Luz and Mabel exclaimed.
“Calm down, girls. We got it taken care of pretty quickly,” Hopediah explained.
“So, sounds like you two have a really good friendship,” Soos stated.
“Yeah, we do,” Anne smiled. “Spranne against the world?” she asked her brother in all but blood.
“Spranne against the world,” he smiled back at her. “Always.”
The two shared a hug, causing everyone to smile softly and pull their own friends and siblings into an embrace.
“Ah, it’s always a wonderful sight to see true friendships grow. That’s half of the Amphibia episodes for today. Once were done we’ll take a quick brake in your rooms and return to watch The Owl House episodes. So, let’s get to it.”
“Vkrxogq’w wkh Darorwo eh khuh eb qrz?” Surihvvru Wlph txhvwlrqhg. “Zh’yh ehhq zdlwlqj iru qhduob dq krxu orqjhu wkdq zh vkrxog kdyh. L ihho olnh L’yh pdgh hqrxjk frqfhvvlrqv,” kh juxpeohg.
“L pxvw djuhh zlwk klp,” wkh Jxdugldq vdlg. “Wklv lv xqxvxdo iru rxu iulhqg.”
“L’p vxuh kh kdv klv uhdvrqv,” wkh krvw sodfdwhg iurp wkh vkdgrzv.
Vxgghqob wkhuh zdv d euljkw oljkw wkdw zdv wkhuh dqg jrqh zlwk d iodvk. Qrz kryhulqj lq wkh dlu zdv d pdvvlyh iuloob dpskleldq.
Wkh Darorwo klpvhoi kdg ilqdoob duulyhg.
“Khoor, pb iulhqgv. Lw kdv ehhq wrr orqj.”
“Brx grq’w nqrz wkh kdoi ri lw,” Khlqc joduhg. “Zkdw wkh khfn, pdq?! Gr brx nqrz krz orqj L… L phdq zh kdyh ehhq zdlwlqj?”
“L pxvw dsrorjlch. Wkh vlwxdwlrq lq Khoo ohg wr vrph… xqhashfwhg rxwfrphv.”
Wkh rwkhu wzr jrg-olnh ehlqjv shunhg xs dw wklv.
“Zkdw rxwfrphv?” wkh fdw dvnhg.
“Zdlw d plqxwh. Khoo?” Grrihqvkpluwc txhvwlrqhg, frpsohwhob orvw.
“Doorz ph wr hasodlq,” wkh odujh fuhdwxuh ehjdq. “Wkh Jxdugldq dqg L duh frvplf ohyho ehlqjv. Dqg hdfk frvplf ohyho ehlqj kdv wkhlu rzq uroh wr sodb lq wkh judqg vfkhph ri halvwhqfh.”
“Pb gxwb lv wr eh d surwhfwru ri wkh Pxowlyhuvh,” wkh Jxdugldq dgghg. “Ohw’v vdb lw lv d jdughq, dqg wkdw pdnhv ph lwv jdughqhu. L gr zkdw lv qhfhvvdub wr fduh iru wkh Pxowlyhuvdo hfrvbvwhp dqg nhhs fuhdwlrq vdih iurp ghvwuxfwlrq.” Wkhq kh voxpshg. “Dqg lw lv hakdxvwlqj! Gr brx nqrz krz riwhq L kdyh wr suhyhqw lqfxuvlrq hyhqwv? Doo wkh wlph. Dqg wkh wzr wlphv L wrrn d qds, hyhubwklqj froolghg dqg kdg wr eh uhvhw!”
“Wkhuh, wkhuh,” wkh krvw frpiruwhg, sdwwlqj wkh fdw’v edfn.
“Rndb, zlwk wkdw dvlgh, zkdw’v brxu uroh wkhq?” Khlqc dvnhg wkh Darorwo. “Doo L nqrz lv wkdw brx’uh d srzhuixo ehlqj rq sdu zlwk Eloo Flskhu. Exw zkdw gr brx dfwxdoob gr?”
“Uhlqfduqdwlrq,” kh dqvzhuhg. “Dqb vrxo wkdw zlvkhv wr eh uhghhphg pdb lqyrnh pb qdph, dqg L vkdoo judqw wkhp d qhz olih doo wrjhwkhu. Wkrxjk prvw ri wkh shrsoh L ghdo zlwk duh rqhv zkr kdyh glhg lq wkh diwhuolih.”
Grri’v hbhv zlghqhg.
“Brx fdq glh lq wkh diwhuolih?”
“Bhv, exw qrw hyhub diwhuolih,” wkh krvw dqvzhuhg. “Wkhuh lv wklv frpprq plvfrqfhswlrq wkdw wkhuh lv rqob rqh diwhuolih. Exw qr. Doo wkh sdqwkhrqv halvw. Dqg ghshqglqj xsrq zklfk rqh brx zruvkls, wkdw lv wkh diwhuolih brx zloo hqg xs lq.”
“Zrz. Wkdw vrxqgv… dpdclqj,” Khlqc vdlg, iru odfn ri ehwwhu zrugv.
“Lw wuxob lv,” wkh Jxdugldq vplohg. “Qrz, edfn wr brxu lqlwldo txhvwlrq. Bhv, Khdyhq dqg Khoo duh uhdo. Dqg vlqfh prvw kxpdqv rq brxu Hduwk iroorz wkh Deudkdplf uholjlrqv, prvw hqg xs lq wkh wzr.”
“Dqg pdqb zkr jr wr Khoo hqg xs gblqj wkhuh djdlq. Vr, L frph lq dqg uhlqfduqdwh wkhp,” wkh Darorwo hasodlqhg.
“Exw zkdw’v wkh elj ghdo derxw Mdqxdub?” Surihvvru Wlph dvnhg.
Wkh wkuhh srzhukrxvhv zhuh vlohqw. Wkh Darorwo iurzqhg. Wkh Jxdugldq erzhg klv khdg vxoohqob. Wkh krvw vhhphg wr zlow olnh d iorzhu dqg vljkhg diwhu d plqxwh.
“Rq hyhub Mdqxdub iru wkh sdvw whq-wkrxvdqg ru vr bhduv… wkh Dqjhov ri Khdyhq vhqg grzq haruflvwv wr nloo wkh vlqqhuv.”
Khlqc’v mdz gursshg.
“Zkd… Exw wkhb’uh douhdgb lq Khoo! Zkdw’v wkh srlqw ri sxqlvklqj wkhp pruh?!”
“Khoo zdv jurzlqj lq vwuhqjwk,” wkh fdw ehjdq. “Wkh Kljk Vhudsklp Dqjho ihduhg wkdw wkhb zrxog dvvdxow Khdyhq lwvhoi. Vr vkh vhqw wkhlu duplhv wr hawhuplqdwh dqb ghprq lq vljkw wr nhhs Khoo’v srsxodwlrq xqghu frqwuro.”
“Bhv. Exw wklv bhdu’v hawhuplqdwlrq zdv… gliihuhqw,” wkh dpskleldq vdlg.
“Zkdw kdsshqhg?” wkh krvw dvnhg wkhlu rog iulhqg.
“Wkhuh zhuh wzr hyhqwv wkdw rffxuuhg. Zdqwlqj wr vhh zkdw fdph ri lw, L vwdbhg wr zdwfk lw doo xqirog. Dqg diwhu vla prqwkv, hyhubwklqj kdv fkdqjhg.”
“Hyhubwklqj?” wkh Jxdugldq dqg krvw lq wkh vkdgrzv txhvwlrqhg.
“Hyhubwklqj,” kh qrgghg. “Wkhuh pdb qhyhu eh dqrwkhu hawhuplqdwlrq. Dqg wkh hqwluh gbqdplf ri Khdyhq dqg Khoo zloo eh iruhyhu fkdqjhg.”
“Zkdw kdsshqhg?” wkh krvw zrqghuhg.
“Zhoo, L frxog whoo brx. Exw zkb gr wkdw zkhq L fdq vkrz brx?” Darorwo vplunhg.
Kh zdyhg rqh ri klv sdzv dqg d qhz vfuhhq dsshduhg lq wkh urrp.
“Li brxu jxhvwv fdq kdyh wkhlu rzq ylhzlqj, wkhq zkb fdq’w zh lq wkh phdqwlph?”
Wkh krvw wkrxjkw derxw lw iru d prphqw.
“Lw zloo wdnh d orqj wlph wr fryhu doo wkhlu dgyhqwxuhv. Yhub zhoo wkhq. Fduub rq.”
“Krog rq d vhf,” Khlqc fxw lq, idflqj wkh krvw. “Brx vdlg brx zrxog whoo ph zkr brx duh rqfh wkh Darorwo duulyhg.”
“Dk, L glg surplvh wkdw, glgq’w L? Yhub zhoo. Suhsduh wr kdyh brxu plqg eorz.”
Wkhb vqdsshg wkhlu ilqjhuv dqg wkh krvw zdv hqjxoihg lq rudqjh dqg sxusoh oljkw. D plvw zdv qrz suhvhqw. Dv lw fohduhg xs, d ihz jorzlqj vbperov dsshduhg lq wkh dlu. Rqh lq bhoorz, eoxh, juhhq dqg rudqjh.
Khlqc frxog qrz pdnh rxw d ihz ri wkhlu ihdwxuhv. Kh vdz klv olpev zhuh fryhuhg lq eodfn ixu dqg… erqhv?
Wkh plvw ehjdq wr ulvh xs, uhyhdolqj d ureh dqg zkdw zdv ghilqlwhob d ‘Edg Jluo Fryhq’ vkluw.
Wkh plvw ilqdoob fohduhg dqg Khlqc’v mdz gursshg zkhq kh vdz d vnxoo zlwk kruqv, d sdlu ri zlqjv, rqh jorzlqj hbh, dqg d zrup wkdw orrnhg olnh Krrwb lq klv rwkhu hbh vrfnhw.
Wkhuh dovr vhhphg wr eh d jorz ri wkh irxu froruv vxuurxqglqj klp lq d vlokrxhwwh.
“Brx’uh d… Brx’uh d…”
“D Wlwdq,” wkh Jxdugldq ilqlvkhg iru klp zlwk d surxg vploh.
“Pb uhdo qdph lv Hdqnl. L dp wkh Wlwdq ri wkh Erlolqj Lvohv dqg wkh sduhqw ri Nlqj Fodzwkruqh,” kh vplohg irqgob dw wkh odvw sduw. “Dqg zhofrph wr pb plqgvfdsh.”
“Rk~, zh’uh lq d plqgvfdsh. Wkdw pdnhv vhqvh,” Khlqc qrgghg. “Zdlw, exw krz grhv wkdw zrun zlwk brx ehlqj ghdg?”
“Ph,” wkh Darorwo dqvzhuhg. “Qrz, ohw’v wxuq rxu dwwhqwlrq wr wkh vfuhhq dqg hyhqwxdoob vhh d Kdssb Gdb lq Khoo.”
Notes:
Hmm, what should I ask you all? Let's see...
1) What'd you like the most about this chapter?
2) What interactions do you wanna see?
3) To what extent should I do 'you know what' in the codes going forward?
4) Are there any other cartoons you all think I should at least reference in this story to be part of a shared universe? Milo Murphy's Law and Hamster and Gretel are both givens, but what about others like Kim Possible or Star vs the Forces of Evil or Ghost and Molly McGee? Or any others?
Also, TalkTheWalkTheTalk has started their (his?) own cartoon reaction crossover fic. Go check it out, it is absolutely worth it! I personally cannot wait for the next chapter and am really looking forward to it.
Here's the tracker:
Summaries: 4/4
Reactions: 4/4
Outro: 0.5/1
Code: 1/1
Chapter 6: It's A Froggy Frog World: Part 2
Notes:
Finally finished with this one. Enjoy.
Also, it's about time I did this.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters at all or their shows. (Yet. I say while secretly plotting how to conquer the House of Mouse and run that company the right way.) Pretend you didn't see that.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hop Luck
Anne shows Sprig and Polly a video of her pet cat Domino on her phone.
“Aw, your cat is so cute, Anne,” Mabel praised.
“She really is,” Anne sighed with a smile.
Sprig: Hmm. I will... (pulls out a hammer) set her free!
Anne reclaims her phone.
Anne: Please stop doing that.
The kids chuckle while the teens look horrified.
Anne: (sniffs) Ugh! What is that? Did something crawl under the house and die?
Sprig: (sniffing) Worse, Anne. Much worse. Hop Pop is cooking!
Hop Pop sighed while the others laughed.
“How bad is his cooking?” Stan asked.
“You’ll see,” Sprig answered.
Sprig tells Anne to brace herself before going inside to see Hop Pop cooking.
Sprig: What's the plan this year, Hop Pop? Poison the competition?
Hop Pop bonks him with his spoon.
Hop Pop: The plan is to win.
“Oo, is there gonna be a cooking competition?” Soos guessed.
“Got it in one go, young man,” Hop Pop chuckled.
Hop Pop: The annual village potluck. Every year we frogs gather for a great contest. The family who brings the best-tasting dish is showered with love and copper coins. The family with the worst-tasting dish spends the night in… (thunder is heard) the shame cage!
“Ouch. That sounds rough,” Stacy sympathized.
“It really is,” Sprig bowed his head.
Anne: Brutal.
Sprig: And guess which family ends up there every year.
All three Plantars sigh.
“Really? Every year?” Luz asked.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Hopediah sighed.
Anne bangs her fist on the table.
Anne: If you think I'm gonna let my favorite froggy family end up in a cage, you've got another thing coming. I know I'm not technically a Plantar, but maybe I can help.
The others smiled at Anne’s devotion and loyalty.
They accept her help, and Hop Pop explains that they’ve been using recipes in the family cookbook since he was a pollywog.
“You have?” Candace asked.
Hop Pop nodded.
“And those are the same years that you lost?”
“Yes.”
“Haven't you ever made the connection?!”
“What connection?”
“I give up,” Candace said, throwing her hands in the air.
Anne: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think I found your problem, guys. (They gasp) Old things are dumb!
Polly: Oh, that makes sense.
Sprig: It's all so clear now.
There were a few chuckles.
Hop Pop: But we Plantars have always cooked these recipes. What would my great-gam-gam say?
Anne: She'd say "Move on."
The portrait of her indicates that she would not say that at all.
“Yeah no, Anne,” Wendy shook her head with a snort.
Anne: Look, if we're gonna win this thing, we need something new, something revolutionary, something no one in the swamp has ever seen before. Something like…Pizza!
“Oh, that’ll do it,” Isabella nodded.
“Can’t go wrong with pizza,” Dipper nodded.
“Agreed,” Mabel added.
“What’s pizza?” King asked.
The others gasped
“King, I swear you’ll try pizza by the end of the day if it’s the last thing I do!” Luz vowed.
The kids are interested.
Anne: Pizza is the ultimate dish. You haven't lived until you've shared one with your friends at the mall.
“Words have never been more true,” Soos stated.
Hop Pop: Now, now, hold on. Before we get carried away, what about this tried-and-true recipe? Swamp mold pot pie!
Many of them gagged at the sight of it.
“Ugh! It’s like Drustlesteinian food! ‘All you can eat’? More like all you can stand!”
He’s immediately outvoted.
Everyone hastily nodded while hop Pop lost count of how many times he’d sighed today.
Anne says that they need dough, tomatoes, basil and cheese.
Sprig: Oh! Oh! Maybe we should put pineapple on it. Seems like a natural fit. [groans as Anne pins him to the wall]
Anne: [whispers] Don't you dare talk about pineapple on my pizza. Ever.
They all happily leave to go get the ingredients.
The others blinked.
“So… not a pineapple person I take it?” Luz rhetorically asked.
“Nope. Never,” Anne answered.
“I don’t know. I think pineapple on pizza is actually pretty under… rated…” Baljeet faltered upon seeing intense glares from not only Anne, but Candace, Dipper and Stan as well. “When it’s–when it’s done right!”
“I like pineapple on pizza,” Mabel chirped.
“Of course you do,” Dipper said flatly.
The first stop is dough from Mr. Flour. His only condition is that Sprig marry his daughter Maddie.
“I did not see that coming,” Stacy blinked.
“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” Dipper questioned.
“Deals like this are commonplace in Amphibia. And in small towns like Wartwood, they’re even encouraged for population growth,” Hop Pop explained.
“Interesting,” the Pines boy said as he wrote that information down.
Maddie Flour holds a voodoo doll of Sprig.
Maddie: Hiiiii, Spriiiiiiig…
“That girl scares me,” Stan admitted.
Sprig opened his mouth to defend her, but the silencing glyph stopped him.
Anne: Done.
“What?!” the audience exclaimed.
“Hey! Wait a second!” Stan began with a glare at Anne. “You had the gall to be mad at me for making that deal with Gleeful when you did this?! I didn’t even force a marriage, but you did!”
“Uh…” Anne blanched.
“Are you sure you’re not evil?” Heinz questioned.
Boonchuy just crossed her arms and grumbled.
Hop Pop: You know, if we used a traditional recipe, we wouldn't have to sell Sprig.
Anne: No! That old book is old. Sprig's eternal happiness is a small price to pay for pizza.
Polly: Agreed.
There were both gaps at Anne’s statement as well as chuckles at Polly’s.
“Hey, who knows? Maybe it’ll work out,” Mabel said.
Sprig: Aw, it's not so bad. Maybe we'll learn to love each other. Aah!
Maddie: I've seen your death in my mind.
Sprig: (Chuckles nervously) I was kinda hoping it'd be a surprise.
Maddie: (whispers) It will be.
Sprig is terrified.
Silence.
“…Well, that’s disturbing,” Heinz said.
Eda then laughed loudly. She liked this girl.
They get the dough and leave. Polly wants to be the maid of honor
Sprig couldn’t help but smile at his sister. It was nice to be reminded that even though she pretended not to, she really did care.
The family struggles to get a bull worm named Brutus into its pen until Anne uses a red cloth to lewer it in like a bull fighter.
The others clapped and cheered for her.
Mrs. Croaker: Here you go, deary. A hunk of cheese made fresh from the milk of those ca–
Anne: Please don't tell me where it comes from.
“Meh,” Mabel shrugged. “I’m not too bothered by this. I’ve had dog’s milk before.”
“You have?” King questioned, a bit disgusted.
Later they are walking through the forest.
Anne: Hey, careful with that basil, dude. We had to fight off like ten giant aphids to get it.
Sprig sums it up to the price of progress.
“You sure this quest is a good idea?” Jeremy asked. “I know it’s pizza and all, but it’s still just food.”
“Yeah, I may have gone overboard here,” Anne rubbed her neck sheepishly.
The last ingredient is tomatoes.
Sprig: You know, I've never actually tasted a tomato. No one in town really sells them.
Hop Pop: There's a reason for that. They're in the "dangerous vegetables" section.
“What, are they like poisonous or something?” Candace asked.
“Not exactly,” Sprig said.
Hop Pop: It suggests we go for prunes instead. Can't go wrong with prunes!
Anne: Whoa-whoa. "Dangerous vegetables"? Come on!
“Prunes? On pizza? Yeah, no,” Wendy shook her head.
“Besides, it can’t really be that bad-” Luz began.
It’s a monster.
“…Nevermind.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Dipper sighed.
Doof eyed the three headed tomato beast curiously.
Hop Pop: You know, this baby's got some great substitutes, all of which are delightfully harmless.
“That sounds like a good option right about now,” King said, the others nodding in agreement.
Anne says they need to be bold, groundbreaking and brave.
Hop Pop: Anne, there's a big difference between courage and (screaming) stupidity!
The tomato plant gets him before grabbing them all and swallowing them.
The audience screamed.
Sprig: My fiancée was right!
They couldn’t help but laugh despite the tense situation.
They manage to stop themselves from falling into the stomach acid, but the ingredients aren’t so lucky.
“Oh no!” Isabella bemoaned.
“All your hard work!” Mabel cried.
Sprig: At least it'll be a quick, painless death.
Polly: Why would this be painless?
Sprig: Just let me have this lie!
Everyone couldn’t stop the chuckles that came out.
Anne: [sighs] My revolutionary ideas were supposed to save you guys, not get you killed. I shouldn't have been so stubborn. I just really wanted to share a pizza with you guys.
Hop Pop: Ah, I didn't care about that pizza stuff anyway. But you were really trying to help this family out, and that's worth something in my book.
Everyone smiled at that. It was good to see those two bonding.
That gives Anne the idea to check the book. They discover that the throats of tomato plants are delicious when eaten raw. They all grin.
“Ohohoho! This is gonna be good!” Eda grinned.
They eat their way out, killing the monstrosity.
Polly: [spits] Know your place, plant!
“Yeah! You tell ‘em, Polly! Little guys rule!” King cheered with Perry nodding with a smile.
They head home to cook an old recipe, but not before grabbing something… dangerous.
“Well, at least it’s not a total loss,” Ginger said.
“Yeah, maybe the tomato will make the recipe better?” Luz wondered.
The potluck is about to begin and all the families have their recipes out. The Mayor tries them one by one.
Mayor Toadstool: And last, but not least-- [sighs] the Plantars. What filth have you cooked up this ti-- Hmm? Tomato? That's awfully dangerous.
“He’s interested. That’s good,” Mabel offered.
“Come on, come on,” Luz said nervously.
“You guys can do it!” Phineas cheered.
After a drumroll, he declares that this is the best dish that the Plantars have ever brought to the potluck.
The audience erupted into cheers.
“Way to go!” Luz beamed.
“Congratulations!” Phineas smiled.
“You did it!” Mabel screamed.
Hop Pop: What?
Sprig: What? Did we do it? Did we actually win?
Mayor Toadstool: Win? No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's better than usual, but it's still terrible. Last place, as usual.
“Oh,” Mabel went.
“That’s unfortunate,” Eda said.
They march over to the shame cage.
Sprig: Cheer up, guys. Sure we came in last. Again. But thanks to Anne's new ideas and Hop Pop's old ones, we've done the best we've ever done.
“Hey, he’s right,” Soos realized. “Just think of the foods you could make with a few more tries.”
Anne: We did, didn't we? Uh, this is weird, but... any chance I could squeeze in there?
She’s allowed in.
“Aw, that’s sweet of you,” Stacy praised.
Anne: Well, if we can't share a pizza, at least we can share this. And you know, honestly, this isn't so bad... (a shame nugget hits her) Hey, what the heck? What was that?
Sprig: Ooh, I forgot to mention the shame nuggets.
The crowd jeers at them.
“Ouch! You frogs really know how to twist the knife,” Eda said.
“It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” the tadpole shrugged.
Hop Pop: (sighs) Tradition is such a beautiful–(gets hit by a shame nugget) Son of a slug!
The audience laughed at the irony.
“Just wondering, did you guys ever manage to make pizza?” Luz asked.
“We did! And Anne was right, it really is amazing!” Sprig beamed.
“I know, right? Too bad it takes so long for when I have it,” the young witch responded.
“What do you mean?” Candace asked.
“I have a dairy allergy. So they have to use dairy free cheese for my pizzas.”
“You too?!” Candace gasped.
“You have a dairy allergy?”
“Yes! Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to finally talk to someone about this!” Candace exclaimed. “Nobody else I know has this problem, so I’m always singled out!”
“I know, right?! There are just so many foods that you can’t have while everyone else is enjoying themselves!”
While the two teens talked about their shared problem, Dipper turned to the Plantars.
“So, is everything in Amphibia a dangerous monster?”
“I wouldn’t say everything,” Anne responded. “The butterflies are pretty normal.”
“But yeah, everything else will eat you alive,” Polly stated bluntly.
“Time for the next one, people.”
Stake out
At the Plantar house, Sprig and Polly are doing dishes while Anne and Hop Pop are arguing. Anne complains about the couches, and how they’d be better on earth.
Hop Pop: Back in my day we didn't have furniture. We sat on rocks. Sharp ones.
“Oh, it’s this,” Anne frowned. Hop Pop did as well.
“How long is this gonna go on?” Eda asked.
“Probably the whole episode?” Anne offered.
Outside of the Plantar house, Anne carries a crate of vegetables outside. Anne complains about it being heavy and Hop Pop warns her about the flagstone. It causes her to trip.
The others winced in sympathy.
Hop Pop: Back in my day, kids spent less time complainin' and more time watching their step.
Anne: Yeah? Well, where I'm from people fixed their crummy houses.
Hop Pop demands that she apologizes to the house.
“This is just painful to watch,” Stan muttered.
Polly plays solitaire in the living room while Sprig lies on the couch. A loud thud is heard.
Anne: (offscreen) Where I'm from, we didn't rush people in the bathroom! (Another thud is heard.)
Hop Pop: (offscreen) Well, back in my day we didn't have a bathroom! (Another thud.)
A few of them raised an eyebrow.
Anne: (offscreen) Stop hitting the door with a battering ram!
Hop Pop: (offscreen) It's been two hours!
“Okay, that one was probably on me,” Anne admitted.
Sprig can’t take anymore. Polly says they’re just getting used to each other and it’s not a big deal.
“The girl’s right,” Stan said. “Sometimes the best thing to do is just endure until it’s over.”
“It is pretty annoying though,” King admitted.
Sprig: Not a big deal? Do you remember the Henderson's next door? They used to argue all the time, and look what happened to them.
The Henderson’s home is abandoned as Wally loots the place.
Wally: Nothing like scavenging the remains of a broken frog family.
Everyone gapped at the screen.
“Wally, what the heck, man?!” Anne exclaimed.
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Stan shrugged. “Not like they’re gonna use it.”
“Always take free goods when you have the chance,” Eda agreed.
“Sprig, did you just compare us to the Hendersons?” Hop Pop asked with a glare.
“…Yes.”
Sprig fears the bickering will tear the family apart.
Polly: I still think we should just give them time. Not like we have a lot of options. You can't force people to get along.
“You’re gonna do exactly that, aren’t you?” Dipper deadpanned.
“Oh, yeah,” the frog boy answered.
Sprig: (having an idea) Of course not, Polly. Of course not... Of course-
Polly: Just go already!
The audience laughed.
At the back of the Plantar farm, Hop Pop is taking in the sights when…
Sprig: We've been robbed!
Hop Pop: Say whaaaaat?
“Oh, so that’s what you decided to do. I was thinking you’d lock them in a room together or something,” Mabel commented.
Anne: (laughs) Sorry. Sorry. It's just that Hop Pop delivered the perfect sitcom catchphrase.
Hop Pop: Must be painful to make so little sense all the time.
There were a few chuckles.
“We could say the same about you,” Dipper argued.
The prize-winning corn is gone. Sprig demands justice. Hop Pop is proud while Polly is suspicious.
“Oh, you’re not buying it for a moment, are you?” Eda questioned with a smirk.
“Nope,” Polly chirped.
“She’s pretty clever,” Milly whispered to Isabella, who nodded in response.
Sprig suggests a stakeout for when the thief comes back. The others agree.
Sprig: And the only ones who can do it are... Anne and Hop Pop!
“Oh, so this is your version of locking them in a closet,” Mabel laughed. “Good idea.”
Dipper just looked at his sister flatly.
The two are confused.
Sprig: Well, I obviously can't... because I have the attention span of a... (he sees a butterfly) Oh, look at that.
There were a few laughs at this.
“You didn’t even need to pretend,” Heinz laughed.
Luz however tilted her head.
Does he have ADHD like me?
The pair eventually agree but think the other will fall asleep. She even thinks he’s 100 years old.
Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!
“Yeah, no. There’s nothing crips about being this age. I’m 58 and already feeling the effects,” Stan complained. “Bodies change, Plantar. Bodies change.”
“Really? I’m 47,” Heinz chimed in.
“Wow, me too,” Eda added.
“You are?” everyone questioned.
“Yeah, why?” the witch asked. But she already knew the answer.
“It’s just…” Dipper began.
“Your hair’s gray,” Polly finished with her trademark bluntness.
Eda sighed.
“Hey, she is still very foxy for her age and looks,” Luz defended.
“Yeah, you are!” Mabel cheered.
Wendy, Candace, Stacy and Anne shrugged. They couldn't deny their admiration for the older woman based on her looks alone.
Sprig and Polly are alone.
Polly: You stole the corn, didn't you?
Sprig: Oh, absolutely. But now those two have to spend the whole night together and bond!
The audience laughed again. He didn’t even deny it.
Polly: Sprig, you can't manipulate people like this!
Sprig: I can, and I did. And it's going to save this family.
“Alright,” Eda said, gaining everyone’s attention. “Who outside of the frog group thinks this won’t go smoothly?”
Candace, Stacy and Jeremy shared a look before raising their hands. Dipper, Stan and Wendy followed suit, with Eda and King finishing them off.
“Come on guys,” Luz began. “They’re just gonna stare at a field and talk. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Sprig gulped. He knew the answer to that question.
Night falls. Sprig observes Anne and Hop Pop from his telescope.
Hop Pop has her put the lamp out and she yawns.
Hop Pop: [chuckles] Had a feeling you wouldn't last.
Anne: Worry about yourself. I'll be fine. I just need a little boost is all.
She pulls out a bottle of Berry Blam Blitz.
"Blam Berry Blitz. The drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop?” Baljeet questioned, reading the label on the screen.
“I thought they banned that stuff a few months ago,” Luz said.
“What?! They will?!” Anne exclaimed.
“Yeah. It was a big deal. Something about its parent company being banned in America,” Luz remembered.
“What was the parent company?” Wendy asked.
“Smile something?”
“Uh oh,” Mabel paled.
Hop Pop: Hah! That silly drink won't keep you up! Now, this will keep you up.
He pulls out his own drink. Anne thinks it’s poison.
“Uh, that doesn’t look safe for human consumption,” Phineas warned.
It’s his Mama's old gourd tea recipe.
Hop Pop: I'm not surprised you don't like the smell. It's way too strong for you.
Anne: Ha! No way it's stronger than my Berry Blitz.
Everyone sighed, knowing what was going to happen.
They trade beverages and drink them. They don’t go down easily.
“Oh. Not good. Not good,” Stan winced.
“That looks painful,” Isabella frowned.
The two share a laugh at their reactions.
“Huh. Not what I expected,” Eda admitted.
“See? Luz was right,” Mabel said.
“Good thing all those drinks did was make them cough,” Soos mentioned.
Anne: [sighs] You know, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get home.
Hop Pop: I know what it's like to miss something, Anne. I find myself pining after the good old days way too much.
Anne realizes they’re similar in that way. Hop Pop agrees that they’re both softies deep down.
“I hear ya there, Plantar. I miss the days when it was just me and-” Stan was cut off by the silencing spell. “…a friend against the world.”
“Me too,” Eda added.
Heinz looked at the three.
“Am I the only adult here who hated their childhood?” That earned him a pat on the back from Perry.
“Hey,” Luz bumped her shoulder against Anne’s. “I know what it’s like to be far from home and miss it.”
“Really?”
“I can’t say because of spoilers, but yes.”
Sprig is happy to see them connecting.
The audience smiled. Maybe it will be smooth sailing from here.
Anne: Of course, my situation is way worse than yours.
Or apparently not.
Everyone collectively groaned.
“You just had to say that,” King deadpanned.
Hop Pop: Always gotta make it about you, don't you? "I'm Anne, and my life is worse than everyone else's."
“Actually, now that I think about it, your situation was worse than mine,” Hop Pop admitted.
“Seriously?” Boonchuy asked.
“Yes. You were completely out of your element, far away from home and your parents. And here I was complaining about you not adjusting,” he bowed his head shamefully.
“Hey,” she placed her hand on his shoulder. “I should have been more appreciative too. Honestly, there are way worse places I could have ended up in.”
The two smiled at each other and hugged, causing the others to smile.
Anne: Oh, yeah? Well, at least my head isn't a teakettle. Wait. What?
She sees Hop Pop’s head as a teakettle.
“What the heck?!” many exclaimed.
He sees her hair as rainbow stardust. It shines blue.
Everyone gasped, but the Amphibia group did so for a completely different reason. How many clues had there been about Anne’s powers the whole time?
“What the heck is going on here?!” Doof exclaimed.
“It was the drinks!” Mabel realized. Never trust something made by Smile Dip. Candace and Luz frowned in sympathy as well.
The two of them are confused. Anne sees the drinks floating.
Anne: Oh. The drinks! Our body chemistry must be so different that we're having crazy reactions to each other's extreme beverage. (she pauses) That was the smartest-sounding thing I've ever said.
Doofenshmirtz eyed the drinks curiously.
“Of course!” Dipper exclaimed, slapping his forehead. “The effects of the different beverages are causing you both to hallucinate.”
“Does that mean there will be any long term consequences?” Baljeet wondered.
The Amphibia group froze.
“Well, I hope not,” Anne answered.
The two begin to blame each other for their hallucinations and Sprig sees it.
Sprig: No, no! This can't be! They're fighting again.
Polly: (sarcastically) Oh, no. What a surprise.
Eda didn’t even try to hold in her laughter.
Sprig: Okay, okay. No problem. We'll just have to take matters into our own hands.
Polly: Wait. You don't mean…
Sprig: Oh, that's right, Polly. I'm going to steal more corn right under their noses. They'll have to do this again tomorrow, and the next night, and the next night, until they're the bestest friends who were ever friends, and then the family will be saved!
He chuckles sinisterly.
Polly: You're mad!
“I’m gonna have to agree with her on this one,” Candace said. The others nodded in agreement.
Sprig: Try and stop me! Ha-ha!
Polly: Oh, boy.
“This is not gonna end well,” Stacy stressed.
Anne and Hop Pop continue to argue until they hear rustling in the bushes and see the corn thief.
“Well, this just got interesting,” Heinz said, grinning alongside Stan, anticipating a fight.
Polly tackles Sprig and tries to reason with him.
Polly: You’ve lost your mind!
“Yeah! Take him down!” King cheered.
Anne and Hopediah arrive but see them as a two headed corn monster.
“That’s what you saw?!” Sprig and Polly exclaimed. Anne and Hop Pop nodded. “Wow. No wonder you acted the way you did,” Polly said.
The two agree to take the thing down. They then proceed to use anime style powers to attack it. They have no effect but the pair keep firing.
“Aw sweet, dudes! We get to watch a cool anime fight!” Soos beamed.
“I love it! This is amazing!” Luz agreed.
Back in reality, all the frog kids see are the two of them raising their hands and making noises.
Polly: Well, they're broken.
The audience couldn’t help but laugh. Except for Candace, Luz and Mabel. Honestly, this is better than what I went through, they each coincidentally thought.
Hop Pop: It must be immune to magic.
Anne: Quick! Grab those power-ups!
Sprig: Power-ups?
They pick up farm tools that can be used as weapons.
Everyone paled at the sight.
“Okay, this isn’t fun anymore,” Stan said, Heinz nodding in agreement.
“Run!” the others screamed.
They corner them at the house and nearly kill Sprig with the scythe and pitchfork.
“Sprig! I’m so sorry!” Anne and Hop Pop shouted. The frog boy just nodded, not able to say or do anything else.
“Did we hurt you,” his grandfather asked.
“Nah,” Sprig shook his head, finally coming out of his terrified daze. “I’m only scarred emotionally,” he played off cheerfully.
Everyone gaped at him.
Sprig: (screams) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Anne, Hop Pop, it's me! I've learned my lesson. I promise.
Monster: (distorted voice) I'll never manipulate people–
Anne: Uh, does the corn thief kinda sound like Sprig to you?
Hop Pop: Now that you mention it.
Sprig sobs as he continues to beg for them to not kill him and the hallucinations finally end.
The groups sighed in relief.
“Glad that’s over,” Anne said.
Hop Pop: I thought we were goners.
Anne: Me too. And you... defended me.
Hop Pop: And you stood by my side.
The two declare their friendship and pass out.
“Well, how about that,” Jeremy began with a smile. “You guys managed to get along.”
“We often find our true friends on the battlefield,” King nodded.
“Woah. That’s a great saying. Did you make that up yourself?” Polly asked.
“Nah, I heard it from this show that Eda was watching.”
Polly: Wow, Sprig, I owe you an apology. Your dumb ol' plan actually kinda worked.
Sprig: Thanks, Polly, but maybe next time we do it your way.
He passes out as well.
“Good call,” Eda nodded.
Polly: (sighs) Guess I should drag them inside. But first, I'm parched.
She drinks Anne's Berry Blitz, exhales, then spikes the bottle.
“Polly!” everyone exclaimed in worry.
Polly: ll right, Boulder-tron, you ready to roll?
Her hallucination of Boulder-tron appears behind her.
Boulder-tron: Always, my queen.
Polly: Good man, Boulder-tron. Good man.
“Huh. Compared to the others, that looks fine,” Dipper said.
“Wow. That one was a lot,” Isabella said, for lack of better words.
“Well, looks like all of you, minus Polly, learned a valuable lesson,” Eda observed.
The three nodded.
“Who knew that the smartest person in your group would be the youngest? It’s pretty ironic,” Hein stated.
“That’s pretty much everyday of my life,” Candace shrugged.
They were about to go on longer when the audience heard an aggravated yell and another loud noise that caused the whole room to shake.
“Uh… was that an explosion?” Heinz asked.
They could hear the host huffing and puffing before their breathing steadied.
“Sorry about that, everyone. I just learned a piece of information that you can tell I was not happy with.” They took a deep breath and sighed. “Now that that’s out of the way, two more adventures with this group.”
The Domino Effect
Anne and Sprig are outside, playing baseball with a watermelon gourd. She uses a makeshift scythe like a bat.
“Um, is that really a good idea?” Luz asked worriedly.
Sprig throws the gourd. Anne swings and misses the gourd, while the scythe flies out of her hands.
“Sprig!” they all exclaimed.
Anne: Sprig!
Sprig: Huh? (Gasps and ducks, the scythe flying over him into the woods. His hat falls apart, showing his orange hair.) Wanna go again?
Most gaped while others couldn’t help but laugh at the kid’s lack of fear.
Anne: Yeah-uh! (surprised) Wait, you have hair?
The others blinked and stared at the frog boy. Sprig took off his hat to show off his hair. Dipper immediately took notes.
Anne suddenly hears a distressed meowing and they run off to see a caterpillar stuck in a puddle of mud and wasps trying to sting it.
There were many gasps.
“Oh my gosh! Help her!” Mabel pleaded.
“Yeah!” Luz agreed.
“Oh, it’s this adventure,” Anne realized. This’ll be bittersweet.
Sprig distracts the wasps while Anne rescues the caterpillar and they all escape.
“Thank you!” Mabel and Luz exclaimed.
Anne: You're safe now, little fella.
She then screams in adoration.
“Aw~,” a few of them (Mabel, Luz and Anne especially) cooed at the sight.
“Meh,” Isabella shrugged.
“Meh?!” those three girls exclaimed indignantly.
“I’m not a cat person,” Isabella said simply. “I prefer dogs.”
Mabel and Luz shrugged, but Anne narrowed her eyes. Seeing this, Eda grinned and rubbed her hands together.
Sprig: What's wrong? Are you stung? We'll have to amputate.
He raises the scythe.
The audience yelped.
“Put that thing away!” Hop Pop chided.
Anne: No. This caterpillar looks exactly like my cat Domino from back home. I love my cat more than anything in the world. She was irreplaceable. But now I found a replacement. Let's take her home with us!
“What?! Anne, how could you?!” a new voice exclaimed from the Amphibia room.
“Uh, who was that?” Phineas asked.
Anne paled upon realizing who it was.
Sprig is hesitant since it’s a wild animal. Anne dismisses his worries.
Anne: My cat back home was a stray before I adopted her. All it takes is love and patience and... love.
“Fair point. Counterpoint, it’s from a world of giant bloodthirsty monsters,” Dipper argued.
“He makes a valid argument,” Baljeet added.
Anne just buried her head in her hands.
Sprig: You said "love" twice.
Anne holds the caterpillar near him and it licks him.
Sprig: Sold!
They all guffawed.
Anne names her “Domino 2” and they lewer her to the house with a cat toy.
Sprig: (in a trance) I want it. Give it to me.
There were even more laughs while Sprig himself had no idea what the big deal was.
Anne enters the kitchen and finds Hop Pop cooking. He immediately knows she wants something.
Anne: Oh, nothin'. I was just thinking. Doesn't this house feel empty to you?
He turns to a mountain of dishes.
Hop Pop: Not especially.
There were some snorts.
Anne: Wouldn't it be nice to have a sweet, fuzzy, loving critter around?
Hop Pop: A pet?
“You don't sound too thrilled by the idea,” Ferb noted.
“You’ll see why in just a second,” Hop Pop explained.
Hop Pop starts ranting about their old pet spider “Charlie Bigbottom” and how he always had to deal with him instead of the kids.
“Ah, that explains it.”
Anne: Plan B. We're gonna have to sneak Domino 2 inside.
“You don’t take no for an answer, do you?” Wendy asked with a smirk.
“Well, I should have,” Anne said forlornly, confusing the group.
Sprig: Should we be concerned about this?
He lifts his leg, which Domino 2 is nibbling on.
“Yes. Yes, you should,” Isabella answered, eyes widening.
“Yeah, this doesn’t look like a good idea,” Dipper shook his head.
Perry nodded his head frantically. He was a pet. His coworkers were pets. And he knew for a fact that that was not play biting!
Anne waves it off as play-biting and not tasting. Sprig destracts Hop Pop by getting him to rant more about Charlie Bigbottom.
“Using his frustration against him. I admire your cunning,” Eda praised.
The next day, Sprig arrives in the basement to wake her up, but is worried about the scratches on her face and webs everywhere.
“You need to get that thing out of the house,” Stan warned.
Sprig: What happened? Are you okay?
Anne: Hmm? Yeah, totally. Domino 2 just had a bit of a rough first night indoors.
Sprig think Hop Pop will notice the webs and is wary of Domino 2. She attacks them but Anne says it’s normal cat behavior.
“Actually, she's not wrong there,” Isabella shrugged.
Eda’s eyes lit up in excitement.
“Is that a complement or a jab at cats?”
“Both,” the young girl answered honestly.
Anne’s eyes narrowed in response, causing their respective friends to trade nervous glances. All while Eda ate her popcorn.
Meanwhile in the Amphibia Room…
Sasha turned to face Marcy.
“She remembers that I’m a dog person, right?”
“I think you’re the exception to her scorn,” Marcy shrugged.
Montage of Domino 2 wreaking havoc across the house, including eating Hop Pop’s sandwich and trying to eat Polly.
“Polly!” everyone exclaimed.
“Anne! Why didn’t you realize how dangerous that creature was after that?!” Hop Pop screamed.
“I was missing my cat, okay?!” she answered, burning her head in her hands. “I just wanted her back, so I clung to one that looked like her,” she finished quietly.
The others sent her pitiful looks.
“I think we all can relate to that,” Mabel sighed. The others nodded with her, thinking of or holding their own pets or companions that were currently with them.
“Our pets are our pets. Regardless of what they are,” Isabella smiled.
“Yeah,” Anne smiled back. “Cat, dog, it doesn’t matter.”
“But dogs are still better.”
“You little…”
Sprig and Anne lay Domino 2 in her bed.
Sprig: Whew! Hope there isn't a Domino 3.
“Don’t tempt fate,” Stacy pleaded.
Anne: It's all worth it when you get to watch your adorable little boo take a nap.
Domino 2 wraps herself in a blanket of webs.
Sprig: I gotta admit, she's pretty darn cute.
Anne: Welcome, brother, to the church of cute.
Sprig: This a cult thing?
“Church of cute?” Dipper parroted.
“It’s just a thing that Marcy and I have. Just the two of us fawning over Domino, or any other cute animal we see,” Anne smiled.
“Room for one or two more? Because I think I qualify with how I am to this little guy here,” Luz smiled, holding out King in her arms.
“No! Don’t make me a part of this!” the little guy begged his sister.
After they leave for dinner, Domino 2 wraps her full body in webbing. It’s a cocoon!
“She’s gonna turn into a beautiful butterfly, right?” Mabel asked with a forced smile.
The Amphibia group shook their heads.
The two wolf down their meal, to Hop Pop’s confusion. They hear a crash.
Anne: What the heck is that? Domino 2, where are you? Baby precious!
She runs down the stairs.
Hop Pop: Wait. "Baby precious"? That's a pet name, for a pet! You sneak a pet in here?
Sprig caves and confesses everything.
“You gotta learn how to lie, kid,” Eda shook her head.
“You want lessons,” Stan offered, seeing an opportunity. “I’d be willing to do it for a small fee-”
“You will do no such thing!” Hop Pop cut him off with a glare.
Sprig: Uh, I'm sorry. It's just that the caterpillar looked just like Anne's pet from back home. It was small, cute. It was black with white spots and it–
Hop Pop: Wait. A black caterpillar with white spots?
Sprig: Yes. Sensing something is wrong.
“Okay, if even the pets are dangerous, how is anyone still alive in your world?” Heinz questioned.
The frog just shrugged, not having an answer.
They arrive in the basement.
Hop Pop: That's a Coastal Kill-a-pillar!
“Kill-a-pillar?!” everyone shrieked.
“Yep, that settles it! That thing is dangerous!” Stan yelled.
Hop Pop: They're dangerous amphibivores, and they only get white spots right before they're about to–
Domino 2 shrieks menacingly, and reveals herself to have changed into her monstrous adult form.
The audience gulped at the sight, each of them terrified or at least on edge.
“This is incredible!” Except for Dipper, who was sketching and writing down anything he could about the Kill-a-pillar.
“You just can’t help but record everything you learn, can you?” Candace asked. Though her tone was stern, there was a small smile on her face.
“What can I say? It’s one of my quirks,” he answered, still writing.
Hop Pop: Shh. These monsters respond to sound. Let's back away slowly and quietly.
Polly: (bangs the door open and yells) Hey, family! What's happening in here?
Everyone collectively groaned. That groaning was soon drowned out by Eda and King’s laughter.
Domino 2 attacks them, ignoring Anne’s pleas. She then starts playing with her “food.”
“Oh my gosh, that is so terrifying,” Wendy said.
“Phsycological torture. That’s brutal,” King commented
“I was evil and I never went that far. Although I did consider it a few times for traps,” Heinz added.
Perry suddenly found himself grateful that that never happened.
Anne uses the cat toy to lewer her away from the house and saves the Plantars.
The audience sighed in relief.
“Thank whoever that that thing is still a cat,” King sighed.
“Clever move,” Adyson praised.
They arrive at a cliff.
Anne: (sighs) Oh, Domino 2, I thought I could change you. But I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry I couldn't make it work. (sighs) It's time to go.
The others sent Anne sympathetic looks. However, the girl herself hid a small smile.
Turns out I did. And boy, did it come in handy.
She throws the toy over the edge and Domino 2 goes after it.
“Well, glad that’s over,” Luz said.
“And I think you learned your lesson, right?” Jeremy asked.
Anne nodded.
Anne arrives home and the others are glad she’s okay and ask if Domino 2 is gone.
Anne: Yeah, it's gone. [sighs] I'm so sorry, you guys. I had no right to put you all in danger, no matter how much I miss my cat. I hope you understand.
Hop Pop: Understand? Understand! I miss Charlie Bigbottom with all my heart and soul!
He starts bawling his eyes out.
The others blinked while Hopediah did the exact same thing as his past self.
“I loved that spider!” he wailed.
“We know you did, Hop Pop,” Sprig comforted, patting his grandfather on the back.
Polly: Uh, can we please fix the giant hole in the house?!
There were once again a few laughs at Polly’s words.
Anne is in the basement and Sprig visits her.
Anne: (sighs) Well, just goes to show ya. You can't take some wild animal you found in the woods, have it live in your basement, and think everything's gonna be okay.
Sprig: I don't know. Sometimes it works out.
Everyone smiled at his words while Anne hugged her brother.
Sprig gives her a cat plushie he made from Domino 2’s hair balls. She loves it.
“I’m not sure if I should be grossed out or impressed that you successfully managed to do that,” Luz admitted.
“Best not to think about it,” Candace said.
“Well, I for one am impressed by your craftsmanship,” Mabel praised.
“Thank you,” Srig beamed.
“Last one before we get to the adventures of The Owl House. I think you’ll find it most shocking,” the host chuckled.
The Plantars just sent their voice flat looks.
“Dad jokes. Really?” Anne asked.
“Well, I know one of you will enjoy it later.”
Taking Charge
Anne runs in and shows the Plantars their phone.
Anne: "Suspicion Island". It's, like, my favorite show. I've got the new season and didn't even know it. It must have auto-downloaded before I got here.
“Is that a new show that exists in the future?” Mabel asked.
“Yep! And it’s the best!” Anne praised.
“Well, let’s see it then,” Heinz said.
A previously on plays.
Narrator: Suspicion Island. If you don't stay suspicious, you won't stay alive.
“Oh, I like this,” Candace and Dipper said at the same time.
“Those men were so handsome,” Mabel beamed.
“Eh, that show has never really been my thing,” Luz shrugged.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’d like it either,” Phineas said, Isabell nodding in agreement.
“It looks absolutely vulgar,” Baljeet piped up.
Hop Pop: What is this demonic nonsense?
Anne: Hop Pop, this show's got beautiful people doing dumb things while stuff explodes! It's literally perfect.
“That’s all it takes?” Stan asked. He and Heinz adopted thinking postures before sharing wide grins.
The kids want to watch it. Hopediah offers to perform a scene from “The Shallow Pond.” He’s outvoted.
“I would have liked to see that,” Luz said.
“As would I,” Ferb added.
Hop Pop gasped loudly and looked like he was about to cry tears of joy
Hop Pop: But just one.
They watch the show into the night. Anne, Sprig and Polly are engrossed, eyes bloodshot and veiny, while Hop Pop isn't interested.
Some laughed while others were put off by the sight.
“Wow,” Wendy said, for lack of better words.
Anne says that’s enough for the night and that they have to pace themselves with this stuff. The kids reluctantly go to bed when Hop Pop tells them to.
Anne: So? What do you think, Hop Pop? Better than that boring stuff you read to us, right?
Hop Pop: That "boring stuff" is called literature, Anne. And maybe, if you had an ounce of culture, you wouldn't reject it in favor of your substandard, puerile garbage show!
“You really hate that show,” Baljeet noted.
“How long do you think it’ll take for him to love it?” Doofenshmirtz whispered to Stan with a smirk.
“Ha! For all we know, he probably already does.”
After they go to bed, someone sneaks in the night and watches more Suspicious Island.
The audience perked up at that.
The next morning, Anne tries to play the next episode when her phone displays a low battery alert and beeps.
Anne: Wait, WHAT?
The teens collectively sucked in a terrified breath.
“Oh no! Your phone!” Stacy exclaimed. “It’s gonna die!”
“And you don’t have a way to charge it,” Luz realized, getting pale.
The Plantars ask what’s wrong as they enter.
Anne: My battery is low. But it was fine last night when I turned it off.
She accesses the season. All the episodes are marked "WATCHED".
“One of you watched them, didn’t you?” Dipper asked the frog group. They nodded.
Anne’s phone dies.
Anne: (devastated) It's gone.
Sprig: What’s gone?
Anne: Everything! My pictures! My texts! Videos of my cat! Now all my memories from home are gone!!
She begins hyperventilating.
Luz immediately hugged her new friend.
“I’m sorry. I can’t explain right now, but I understand on some level what you're going through. This was a fear of mine at least.”
“I was so scared that I’d never see my parents’ faces again,” she whispered, returning the hug. “I had no idea if I’d come home, those pictures were all I had of them.”
Everyone frowned in sympathy.
Everyone immediately begins blaming each other with suspicion.
“Perhaps maybe this is not the best time, considering her emotional state,” Ferb chided, causing Sprig and Polly to wince.
“Who do you think it was?” Stan asked Heinz and Eda.
“Well, the girl’s not one to take ‘no’ for an answer,” Eda said.
“It’s true,” Polly admitted. “I don’t like what you’re implying, but it’s true.”
“I’m gonna say, Sprig,” Luz added.
“Agreed,” King and Mabel said.
“Why not Polly or Hop Pop?” Dipper asked his sister.
“Don’t you remember how angry she was when she got woken up by Sprig and Anne in the roommates episode? Pretty sure that girl likes her beauty sleep,” Mabel answered.
“What do you think, Perry?” Isabella asked the secret agent. The platypus just shrugged.
“I can’t figure this out,” Candace groaned, holding her head in frustration. “The kids seem too obvious and their grandfather doesn’t look like he can use modern technology-”
“Hey!” Hop Pop cried out, insulted.
“Alright, how much does everyone wanna bet?” Stan grinned, writing their assumptions down. “I’ll be the bookie.”
“You’re not gonna gamble this time?” Susan questioned.
“Nah, I’ll take a break. So, what are the wagers?” Everyone looked at each other back and forth for close to a minute.
“Five dollars says it’s Sprig,” Baljeet said, holding up a five dollar bill. And just like that the bets piled up. Luz, King, Mabel, Soos and Baljeet bet on Sprig. Eda, the Fireside Girls and Isabella put their money on Polly. The others decided to opt out. Except for Doof, who bet on Hop Pop.
Anne: (groans) Enough! If none of you are going to admit to it, the least you could do is help me fix my phone.
Hop Pop: Fair enough, Anne. How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town–
Everyone sent the frog a disturbed look.
“Okay, I think it’s best we go ahead and ignore that,” Dipper suggested. He got nods and sounds of affirmation in response.
Anne explains that they need electricity, or “Zap Zap.” They go to Hop Pop’s study to read one of his books.
Hop Pop: I've heard talk of a creature called the zapapede that lives deep in the Misty Peaks. It zaps its prey with a small spark of lightnin'. Yeah, it's pretty cool, actually.
“So, they’re like electric eels? Cool,” Phineas praised. Dipper started writing the information down.
Anne: Sounds like it's worth a shot. So, how far away is this bug, HP?
Hop Pop: Don't call me HP.
There were a few chuckles.
“Whatever you say, HP,” Luz teased, causing Hop Pop to sigh.
Sprig: Oh, yeah? Well, that's just what Chad Vanderblad said. Right before he was stabbed in the back by a backstabber on Suspicion Island!
He and Polly begin to argue, clearly suspicious of each other.
“Come on, Sprig. Slip up and expose yourself,” King cheered.
“Come all, Polly,” Eda encouraged as well.
“Ugh, you guys are never gonna charge the phone if you keep blaming each other,” Stacy complained, causing the frogs to wince once again.
Anne: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! You're all suspicious. Just look at you. Now, come on. Let's get going. The sooner we move, the sooner I get my memories back.
“Say, who wants to put up a side bet on whether or not there’ll be a fight?” Eda asked the audience. She got silence in response. “What, no takers?”
“I think we all know that that’s going to happen. Especially with the pollywog involved,” Jeremy said.
They travel through the mountains.
Sprig: ♪ A family Distrusts each other ♪ ♪ On a dangerous mission ♪ ♪ Like the nearly naked humans On the island of Suspicion ♪ ♪ Peruvia, Felicia And Randy, so hot ♪ ♪ Beguiling, hostile-ing ♪ ♪ We're all Suspicious isle-ing ♪
Sprig stood up and took a bow as everyone clapped and cheered.
“Thank you, thank you! I’m here all week.”
“You’re pretty good with the fiddle, kid,” Eda praised. “I think someone I know would love to play with you.”
“You should totally join our music numbers,” Isabella offered.
“A fiddle would be a great addition,” Baljeet agreed.
“Yeah! You in?” Phineas asked. Ferb looked in his direction, and if he had to guess, the green haired boy had the same question.
“Do I get to ride your amazing inventions?”
“Yes. Yes you do.”
“I’m in!”
“We’re gonna have to keep an eye on him,” Polly stated.
“Oh, absolutely,” Hopediah agreed.
Anne just groaned in frustration. She was really hoping that Sprig would just once not try and do anything death defying.
They spot a zapapede on the other side of a bridge.
“There it is!” Luz cheered.
“You guys just gotta get across that rickety bridge…” Stacy began before trailing off.
“When you all distrust each other…” Wendy added.
“And a fight could break out any minute…” King said, his eyes widening.
“You’re all gonna fight and fall off the bridge, aren’t you?” Dipper deadpanned.
Their silence was confirmation.
Hop Pop: Step lightly, everyone. This thing doesn't look like it can take much weight.
Sprig yawns as they cross.
Hop Pop: Sprig sure looks tired, doesn't he? Awfully suspicious.
Polly: The old man's a lying snake, but he does have a point.
“Say, that's a good point,” Soos nodded.
“I still think it’s Polly though,” Gretchen said.
“Something’s missing here,” Candace noted, still trying to figure it out. Dipper nodded in agreement. “And why is hop Pop suddenly interested in this?”
Sprig gets Anne’s attention.
Sprig: I want to find out who's guilty just as much as you do. Let me help you.
Polly: Oh, no, you don't! You were trying to Chad her into trusting you!
“Okay, this was fun before, but now it’s just annoying,” Wendy frowned.
Sprig: And you're trying to Vivica her into not trusting me!
The audience just sighed, accepting what was gonna happen.
Anne: Guys, cut it out. You're gonna–
The bridge breaks and they all fall.
“I wish I were surprised. But I’m not,” Dipper said flatly.
They land next to pit full of zapapedes.
“Oh wow. That’s convenient,” Heinz noted.
“Tie it to a vine or something and lower it down,” Candace said.
Anne: Hmm. Oh! Let's just link arms and lower someone down, just like the teens did in episode eight.
Sprig: Ha! So that Polly can drop us to cover her tracks, just like Vivica did in the very same episode?
Polly: You callin' me a Vivica?
Sprig: Maybe…
The two start fighting.
“Get him, Polly!” King and Eda cheered.
“Oo, frog children fighting! Something I had no idea I wanted,” Stan grinned. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
Everyone else just groaned.
They accidentally hit Anne, so she joins the fight.
They cheered and groaned louder than before.
Hop Pop: Eh, no. Oh. No. I-- It was me!
Everyone’s mouths fell open at the news.
“You?!” many exclaimed in disbelief.
“But–but how?” Candace questioned. “I mean, it clears everything up, but I still don’t understand.”
“Me neither,” Dipper added.
“Guess we’ll find out in a second,” Stan shrugged. “In the meantime, Heinz here was the only one to bet on Hopediah. He wins the money by default.”
“By default! My favorite way to win!” Doofenshmirtz cheered, his fists raised high in the air. He then pulled in all his new winnings with a wide grin.
Hop Pop: That's right, Anne. I watched all the episodes. Every single one!
Anne: But you hated Suspicion Island!
“Exactly!” Candace and Dipper exclaimed.
“Unless…” Luz began.
Hop Pop: Hated it? Hated it?! I LOVED it!
“Wow. What a plot twist,” Soos commented.
Hop Pop: Ever since the end of that last episode, I-I couldn't sleep. I fell in love with those crazy kids on their crazy island. I couldn't get enough! I did the only thing I could. I snuck out to the livin' room to watch another episode. I vowed only to watch one, but Suspicion Island had its hooks in me! And before I realized what had happened, I'd finished the season! With dawn approaching, I covered my tracks and made my escape.
“Why did you lie about hating it?” Luz asked.
“It was a matter of pride, I guess. Or maybe I was a bit embarrassed. I can’t even remember,” Hop Pop answered.
“If this show is that good, then I can’t wait ‘til it comes out!” Mabel beamed.
Anne: Unbelievable.
Sprig: What a twist!
“It really was,” King nodded.
“I still don’t understand,” Candace complained.
“Well, I think I made it very clear that–” Plantar began.
“No. I mean how did you know how to use a phone?!” the redhead exclaimed.
“Oh, yeah,” Dipper and Stacy realize.
“Say what?” the grandfather questioned.
“You’re a frog who's never seen modern technology like that,” Dipper explained their confusion.
“Also you’re old,” she finished.
“Hey!” Hop Pop cried out indignantly, much to everyone’s amusement.
Hop Pop: But now, I'm gonna make things right. I will redeem myself!
He jumps off the edge and into the zapapede pile.
“Dude! Are you crazy?!” Wendy exclaimed.
“You just jumped into a pile of electric bugs!” Luz added.
“Do you have any idea how unsafe that is?!” Isabela finished.
“Well, I was more focused on bringing Anne’s phone back to life and redeeming myself,” Hopediah responded.
“Ha! And you wonder where I get my adventurous spirit?” Sprig laughed.
Hop Pop: You know, it's actually kinda relaxing!
They shock him and he screams in pain.
The audience winced and yelped respectively.
“That looks painful,” King said.
“Oof! Been there, buddy,” Heinz sympathized. Then he looked at the zapapedes curiously. Just how effective were they gonna be?
The kids link arms and lower down to reach Hop Pop.
Anne: Almost. Nearly there. Got him! Oh, wait a second.
“Uh oh,” Mabel let out, realizing what was about to happen.
They all get shocked by the connection.
Everyone collectively winced at the image.
“With every new creature I see, I keep wondering how Amphibia is even habitable,” Dipper sighed and shook his head.
They manage to pull up in time and Hop Pop sees that the phone has been charged to 10,000%.
“What?!” Stan exclaimed.
“Ferb! Those guys could power all our inventions!” Phineas told his brother.
“And my inators!” Heinz beamed.
Perry looked at his friend and family worriedly. He didn’t like where this could go.
Anne: So, you love Suspicion Island, huh?
Hop Pop: Yeah... (sighs) And I'm sorry I lied and drained your memory box. Can you ever forgive this old, silly frog?
Anne: Dude, you just risked your life to recharge my phone. I think we're square.
“Yep. Can’t get anymore square than that,” Stacy said.
Polly: Aw. Really glad I didn't push you off a cliff like I was planning.
Sprig: (laughs) Me too, Polly. Me too.
There were a few chuckles while others blanched at the pair.
“You two really gotta pace yourselves with that show,” Anne deadpanned at her brother and sister.
Hop Pop wants them to see more of the show so that he can talk about it before he explodes. He nearly says a spoiler on the way home.
“Well, that one’s over,” Wendy sighed.
“Hey, that was the last of our episodes,” Anne realized. “Does that mean we can go on break?”
“Indeed it does,” their host answered. “Spend some time in your rooms before watching The Owl House.” Everyone got up and headed for their respective doorways. “Oh, and just so you know, I realized that I may have not added enough people from each of your adventures. So my colleague and I brought in a few more. And they’ve already been caught up, so no need to fill them in on what you’ve seen.”
They all left the theater at a faster pace with that news, wondering just who else from their lives were now here.
Phineas and Ferb Room
The Danville group returned to the backyard to see two things. One: the whole area had grown tremendously. There were more buildings beyond their house. It looked like they were in a smaller version of Danville. They could even see Doof’s building in the not as far as usual distance.
“Hey, my building!” Doof beamed. “I was wondering where we were gonna sleep.”
“Sir, would you like a muffin?” Norm asked, holding a tray of the baked goods with his sister standing beside him.
“Oh, absolutely!”
“I don’t know how I feel about your new business partner,” Vanessa frowned as her father ate away at the muffins.
“Don’t stress yourself out, pumpkin,” he waved off. “If he were worse than me, then he wouldn’t be here.”
“He told you how to commit tax fraud,” she deadpanned.
“And that’s gonna help pay for your college tuition.”
“Hm… I don’t see this new person. Do you?” Phineas asked.
“No,” Isabella answered, looking around.
“Oh, she’s up there,” Monogram stated, pointing to the tree.
“Hey, there!” they heard the voice from up above. They all looked up at the branches of the tree to see a young woman in a black outfit, a brown jacket, and long brunette hair. She then jumped down and landed on the grass with a dramatic pose.
“Woah~,” the watchers said for lack of better words. Perry just rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend.
“Hey, P. How’ve you been?”
“You know Perry,” Phineas asked.
“Yep. The name’s Lila Loliberry. I’m from OWCA’s Canadian division,” she introduced herself.
“A Canadian? You from Quebec or the rest of it?” Buford asked.
“You know about Quebec?” Baljeet questioned.
“It’s the part that speaks French,” the bully whispered to the nerd.
“Ah.”
Gravity Falls Room
“Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper shouted in excitement as he ran to the Author. “I have the…” he trailed off upon seeing Ford holding Journals 1 and 2 in his right hand. One was partially on top of the other like playing cards. The Pines boy squealed in joy. “Looks like we get to use the Journals one more time.”
“Yes we do, Dipper. Yes we do,” Ford beamed.
“I don’t ever wanna go to that frog world,” Thompson said as Wendy returned to her friend group.
“Normally I’d say that this is the ultimate dare, but yeah. I don’t think I wanna go there either,” Lee agreed. Dipper and Mabel joined the group once he finished.
“Definitely,” Dipper said flatly.
“I don’t know. I think I could take it,” Mable shrugged.
“Hey um… that Eda woman is totally Stan’s ex-wife, right?” Tambry asked.
The teens were silent as the awkwardness settled in. Except for Mabel, who looked over the moon.
“I hope so! She’s just perfect, and I’d love to have her as my Grauntie!”
“She was very sweet with you earlier,” Dipper smiled, grateful for what the older woman did for his sister. “But I don’t think she and Stan would make a good couple,” he said with a shiver.
“Well, I don’t need them to be together for her to be my Grauntie,” the Pines girl beamed.
Dipper shrugged and looked around. There weren’t any new people, but the area had changed to include the whole valley now. Though it was scaled down a bit. Probably for travel convenience. Then he turned to see Pacifica talking to Candy and Grenda.
And she was crying.
“Oh boy. Mabel, we gotta go.” His sister turned to see what he was talking about and hastily nodded before the pair ran off.
“I know what I did to you both was wrong,” Pacifica told the two as genuine tears rolled down her face. “And I know nothing that I can say or do will make it better. But I’ll never treat you like that again. I promise.”
Candy and Grenda glared at the heiress. Then the beefier one punched her in the arm, causing Pacifica to wince in pain.
“That’s for years of bullying!” Grenda shouted. Pacifica just looked down in shame. Then she was suddenly hefted into the air in a bone crushing hug. “That’s for apologizing!”
“You may have been bad before, but after everything Dipper and Mabel told us, we’re willing to give you a second chance. Don’t waste it,” Candy said.
Pacifica nodded gratefully once she was back on the ground. Then she was tackled to the ground in another bone crushing hug.
“Welcome to the friend group!” Mabel cheered.
“Mabel… can’t… breathe,” the Northwest weezed.
Dipper helped her up after his twin let go.
“I told you it would work out,” he smiled.
“Oh, please. As if I couldn’t pull that off. I’m a Northwest,” she scoffed with pretense superiority, causing Dipper to shake his head fondly.
“The more things change, the more they stay the same,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“No matter how much of a better person you become, you’ll still pretend to care about status.”
“Yes I do!” she argued.
“Nope. Deep down you are a total sweetheart,” he smirked.
“Take that back!”
“No.”
“Take it back!”
“Any idea what that was earlier?” Stan asked Ford and McGucket.
“No, but whatever it was had a lot of power,” his brother answered.
“The readings I’m getting from this place are still too high to learn anything in particular. I’m gonna try to put together a thingamajig to learn more about where we’re at,” the hillbilly said and left for the junkyard.
“Stanley,” Ford began with a sullen look, placing a six fingered hand on his twin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about what happened between you and… Marilyn. I had no idea you went through that.”
“Eh, it was a long time ago,” Stan sighed. “She was incredible, and I do think about her every now and then, but I think I’ve moved on. I do wish I could remember what her face looked like. Or her voice.”
So that’s why he didn’t recognize her, Ford thought.
“That’s probably because of when we erased your memory.”
“Well, then I’m sure it’ll come back to me,” he smiled. “Besides, even though Marilyn was the only girl who ever managed to tie me down, it wasn’t my best relationship.”
“That much is clear.”
“I’m not talking about how she robbed me, Sixer,” he rolled his eyes. “I mean as a kind of girl who can make you feel alive. Honestly, no woman had ever made me feel that way since… Carla…” Stan trailed off. His mood visibly darkened. More so than when they were talking about Marilyn.
Ford immediately pulled his brother into a hug.
Amphibia Room
“Hey guys, I–” Anne halted in what she was saying upon seeing something she didn’t expect. Resting in Marcy’s arms was her pet cat. “Domino! Come here, little baby!” she beamed, reaching for the feline…
Only for Marcy to suddenly hold her out of arm's reach.
“Oh no you don’t. She is mine now,” Macy huffed.
“Huh?”
“You made your choice earlier. We all saw it. And you replaced our baby! How could you, Anne!”
“Domino 2 looked so much like her! Can you really blame me?”
“Yes!”
Sash chuckled at her friends’ actions.
“It always amuses me to see you fighting over that cat,” she smiled.
“Well, this time it’s final. You are staying with me from now on. The mommy that loves you.”
“But I love her too! Come on. Mar-Mar~,” Anne practically begged.
“Oh, alright. But if you ever betray our little baby like this again…”
“I won’t,” Anne promised, rubbing Domino’s belly.
“Anne! Plantars!” They looked over to see Dr. Jan running over to them. With her were Terri, Jess and Ally.
“Dr. Jan! Great to see you!” Anne greeted.
“Incredible! Danville, Gravity Falls, Amphibia! So much history to learn! And your blue friend has been such a big help answering my questions,” Jan spoke rapidly.
“Blue friend?”
“Well, hello love,” she heard from behind her. Anne turned to see Wally himself. “Good to see ya again.” he played a note with his accordion.
“Wally! Bring it in, buddy!” she said before hugging him.
As this went on, Polly was having her own conversation with her fellow robot enthusiasts.
“We have got to build some stuff with Phineas and Ferb later,” Ally beamed.
“I know, right?!” Jess responded enthusiastically. “Those two are incredible! Hearing about them growing up is actually what inspired us to get into robotics.”
“Wow, I had no idea they were that big,” Polly said. “If all that was stuff they did as kids, then what have they done as adults?”
“Hm… pretty sure they solved climate change. It’s still being determined,” Ally answered.
“There’s something off about that Eda woman,” Maddie told Sprig and Ivy. “I don’t know what it is, but I can literally feel it.”
“It’s probably nothing too bad,” Sprig responded. “The way she comforted Mabel earlier, I think we can trust her.”
“If you say so, Sprig,” the curse user shrugged.
“So, Anne owns your first born child, huh?” Ivy asked.
“We settled for Godmother,” he immediately defended.
“Well, I don’t think there’s anyone better for whatever kid we have,” she smirked.
Ivy’s statement had the desired effect, and her boyfriend began to blush more than he ever had in his entire life.
“Isn’t it… isn’t it a bit early to be thinking about that?” he chuckled nervously.
“I don’t know? Is it?” she teased and kissed his cheek. Sprig suddenly fainted, causing both girls to laugh.
“Gee, I hope I didn’t go too far,” Ivy said.
“He’ll be fine,” Maddie waved off. “Hey um, we’re cool, right?”
“What? About you used to having feelings for Sprig? It’s fine,” Sundew waved off. “It is ‘used to’, right?”
“Well, after seeing how he acts, it’s safe to say he’s not my type. You can have him,” Maddie shrugged. “Sure, he’s a lovable goofball, but I need someone more serious.”
“Well, everyone has their own type. And he’s mine,” Ivy stated proudly, hugging Sprig as he finally woke up.
“Hehehe, you’re gonna give him a heart attack if you keep that up, deary,” an old woman said.
“Mrs. Croaker?” Sprig asked.
“That’s right, I’m here too. Now can someone please tell me where Archie is?”
“Ah! Giant spider, bird and snails!” Anne’s dad screamed as Archie, Bessie, Joe Sparrow and Microangelo stood around him.
“Never mind. That settles it.”
The Owl House Room
Luz rushed into their section and immediately pulled her girlfriend into a twirl hug, not even noticing how much the landscape had grown.
“Are you gonna greet me like that every time you see me?” Amity laughed.
“Yes,” Luz nodded with complete seriousness. There was a hiss as Stringbean slithered through the air and nuzzled Luz’s cheek. “Aw, nice to see you too, buddy.”
“Hey, where did the others go?” Amity asked upon noticing that the couple were alone.
“They left,” King said, from below them. “They left as soon as your mushiness started, knowing it would take forever.”
The pair just took it in stride and closed their eyes with their foreheads leaning against one another.
“You know what I wanna do with you tonight?” Luz asked. “I wanna lie down and cuddle with you forever, hermosa.”
“We do have all the time in the world now,” her girlfriend smiled sweetly. Because in that moment, everything was right.
“Hey, Luz!”
Until it wasn’t.
“Oh hey, Hooty. What’s going on?”
“We have two more friends,” the bird tube thing announced and moved aside to reveal said familiar faces.
“Ms. Blight, Ms. Noceda. Good to find you well,” Principal Bump greeted with a smile.
“Hello, young witch,” the Bat Queen smiled. “I see you finally realized what you what,” she smiled as she noticed the snakeshifter palismen. The magical creature in her curiosity flew up to the elder one’s face.
“Yep! Her name is Stringbean. And she’s perfect!”
“Quite a unique form, Ms. Noceda. What pray tell was your desire?” Bump asked.
“My mom helped me realized that all I really wanted was to be understood,” the afro-latina poured out. “I don’t know why it took so long.”
“Ah, such a beautiful wish,” Bat Queen praised. “A very powerful one too.” Stringbean then shifted into resembling the other palismen, much to her amusement.
♪ “Fdq’w zdlw d zkroh bhdu wr vodxjkwhu wkrvh olwwoh f###v! L nqrz lw’v mxvw ehhq d zhhn, exw zh’oo eh edfn lq vla prqwkv!” ♪
“ZKDW?!” wkh Jxdugldq, Surihvvru Wlph dqg Hdqnl doo hafodlphg dv wkhb khdug wkh hqg ri Dgdp’v vrqj.
“Ex-exw zkb?!” Khlqc txhvwlrqhg.
Wkh wlwdq dprqj wkhp bhoohg lqfrkhuhqwob ehiruh fdvwlqj d iluh jobsk dqg kxuolqj wkh qhz edoo ri iodphv dw wkh qhduhvw zdoo. Wkh uhvxow zdv dq hasorvlrq wkdw vkrrn wkh zkroh duhd. Hdqnl wkhq ehjdq wr kxii dqg sxii.
“Brx xk… brx jrrg pdq?” wkh vflhqwlvw dvnhg.
Klv euhdwklqj vorzhg dqg kh vkrrn klv khdg.
“Qr. Wklv klwv wrr forvh wr krph iru ph. Dgdp lv vr pxfk olnh Ehorv wkdw lw ixhov ph zlwk dqjhu.”
“Li lw lv dqb frqvrodwlrq,” wkh Darorwo vdlg vriwob. “Iru doo wkdw wkhb zrxog djuhh rq, Ehorv glg qrw jr wr Khdyhq.”
Wkhuh zdv d sdxvh.
“Zkdw ehfdph ri klp?” wkh wlwdq dvnhg, douhdgb sxwwlqj wrjhwkhu wkh lpsolfdwlrqv.
“Kh glhg lq wkh Hawhuplqdwlrq wzr prqwkv diwhu klv ghdwk. Kh wulhg wr sohdg wr wkh Haruflvwv wr wdnh klp wr Khdyhq, vdblqj wkdw lw pxvw kdyh ehhq vrph plvwdnh. Wkdw kh zdv rqob grlqj Jrg’v zrun. Wkhb guryh d vshdu lqwr klv khduw dv d uhvsrqvh. Vr, L hqghg xs sxwwlqj klv vrxo wkurxjk wkh fbfoh. D gliihuhqw irup, d gliihuhqw wlph,” wkh dpskleldq hasodlqhg.
“Zhoo, jrrg ulggdqfh, L vdb,” wkh Jxdugldq vdlg, dgglqj klv rzq wzr fhqwv.
“L vxssrvh vr, bhv,” Hdqnl vljkhg. Kh wxuqhg wr wkh rwkhu vfuhhq lq wkh urrp wr vhh klv jxhvwv vkdulqj frqixvhg orrnv. “Li brx’oo hafxvh ph. L qhhg wr jr hasodlq pbvhoi wr wkh rqhv zh eurxjkw khuh.”
Khlqc orrnhg wr wkh rwkhuv dv wkh wlwdq zdonhg wr wkh rwkhu vlgh ri wkh urrp.
“Vr, wkdw Ydjjlh jluo zdvq’w nlgglqj zkhq vkh vdlg wkdw dqjohv duh eorrgwkluvwb dqg ghudqjhg.”
“Qr,” wkh Jxdugldq vkrrn klv khdg.
“Krz hadfwob glg wkdw jxb jhw lqwr Khdyhq? L zdv douhdgb frqixvhg wr khdu wkdw Dgdp jrw lq, iru vrph uhdvrq, exw L’p hyhq pruh vnhswlfdo qrz,” Grri iurzqhg.
“L gr qrw nqrz,” wkh Darorwo dqvzhuhg. “Shukdsv kh zdv d ehwwhu shuvrq lq klv iluvw olih, dqg ehlqj wkh iluvw kxpdq lq Khdyhq lqiodwhg klv hjr wr wkh srlqw zkhuh kh orvw klv uhghhplqj txdolwlhv. Ru pdbeh lw zdv wr hyhqwxdoob ghprqvwudwh wr wkh dqjhov krz wkhb duh wkh rqh zkr kdyh idoohq. Uhjdugohvv wkrxjk, lw lv d wuxwk zh kdyh wr dffhsw.”
“Zh fdq frqwlqxh qrz,” Hdqnl vdlg, uhwxuqlqj wr wkhp.
Fkduolh uhwxuqv wr wkh Kdcelq Krwho wr ohduq wkdw wkhb pdgh d qhz frpphufldo. Wkhb’uh derxw wr zdwfk lw zkhq wkh ihhg lv lqwhuuxswhg eb d 999 eurdgfdvw dqqrxqflqj wkh Hawhuplqdwlrq vfkhgxoh fkdqjh.
“Rk, wkdw lv mxvw rxwuljkw dqqrblqj! L uhdoob zdqwhg wr vhh wkdw!” Grrihqvkpluwc frpsodlqhg.
“Vr glg L,” Hdqnl juxpeohg.
“Krog lw, brx wzr. Orrn,” Wkh Jxdugldq vdlg.
Wkh uhdvrq iru wkh fkdqjh lv uhyhdohg dv d gurqh iurp Khdyhq ilqgv d khdgohvv ergb ri dq Haruflvw.
Wkh wkuhh zkr zhuh mxvw ohduqlqj wklv wxuqhg wr wkh Darorwo.
“Whoo ph wklv lv uhdo,” Wkh fdw ehjjhg.
Wkhlu iuloob frpsdqlrq qrgghg. Wkh rwkhuv wrrn d prphqw wr gljhvw wklv qhzv ehiruh wkhb julqqhg.
“Wkhb kdyh d iljkwlqj fkdqfh!” wkhb fkhhuhg.
“Dkkdkd! L kdyh ehhq zdlwlqj whq-wkrxvdqg bhduv wr vhh wkhvh kbsrfulwhv jhw wkhlu gxhv,” Hdqnl ehdphg.
“Zhoo, li wklqjv jr wkh zdb L’p krslqj, wkhq wkhq qhaw vhyhqwb-hljkw bhduv ri pb mre vkrxog eh pxfk hdvlhu wr ghdo zlwk,” wkh Jxdugldq vljkhg.
“Zdlw, kxpdqlwb lv rqob whq-wkrxvdqg bhduv rog? Exw wkdw frqwudglfwv vflhqfh!” Khlqc txhvwlrqhg.
“Rk, qr. Doo wkh sdqwkhrqv duh uhdo, uhphpehu? Vr, doo wkh fuhdwlrq vwrulhv duh uhdo dv zhoo. Wkhb mxvw kdsshqhg iru wkh sduwv ri wkh zruog zkhuh wkhb ruljlqdwhg iurp,” wkh Darorwo hasodlqhg.
“Rk, zhoo wkdw sxwv pb plqg dw hdvh. Dw wkh hqg ri wkh gdb, L’p d pdq ri vflhqfh. Uhphpehu wkdw.”
“Lw doo pdnhv vhqvh qrz,” wkh wlwdq ehjdq. “Wkhb’uh dfwlqj rxw ri ihdu ehfdxvh wkhb qrz nqrz wkhb’uh qrw dv lqylqfleoh dv wkhb wkrxjkw.”
“Bhdk, wkdw zdv d orw ri qhz lqir wr gljhvw. Olnh Oxflihu ehlqj qrw vr edg d jxb. Zkdw’v kh olnh, eb wkh zdb?” Khlqc dvnhg.
Klv frpsdqlrqv vkduhg d srqghulqj orrn, zrqghulqj krz ehvw wr dqvzhu klv txhvwlrq.
“Ohw'v mxvw vdb, brx’oo eh deoh wr uhodwh wr klp. Pruh wkdq wkh uhvw ri xv, dfwxdoob,” wkh Jxdugldq vplunhg.
Notes:
So? What'd you all think? And did I add enough characters and were they good choices? I'm assuming yes.
Knowing the fandom, I can't not acknowledge that it's Pride Month. So, congratulations to the LGBTQ community. Not that I am in any way a member or associated with it. I guess you could call me an ally since I'm writing a fanfiction that ships two same sex couples that are just so darn CUTE! Honestly, what kind of person doesn't think Lumity is adorable. I know I do, and I'm straight. That's how sweet they are.
1) So, after the next two chapters we'll be doing the first break one. Please tell me what interactions or explorations you'd like to see while I'm still ironing out the kinks of it.
2) What'd you like the most about this chapter? Feel free to list more than one moment. I encourage it.
3) What do you think of what I'm doing with the codes for the foreseeable future?
Edit
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Chapter 7: Weirdos Have to Stick Together: Part 1
Notes:
I am SO SORRY that this took a month. I spent the first 2 weeks taking a break. Then I got most of it done but stopped to update my other big work. But here we are. The first half of the Owl House Introduction on the 6 month anniversary of this story.
Sweet Titan, I really need to pick up the pace. And I totally can. Just gotta put my mind to it, you know?
Anyways, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Luz? Mittens? Can I talk to you both for a moment?” Alador asked.
“Yeah, Dad?”
“I’ve been meaning to give you this.” He placed a familiar tamagotchi-like communicator in his daughter’s hand. Her eyes widened in disbelief.
“You fixed it?”
“I know how much it means to you. And I figured this would allow you both to talk to each other during the viewing until-”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Amity leaped at her father and pulled him into a hug.
“I love it! Thank you, Dad!” she cheered.
After a moment of surprise, he smiled and returned the hug.
“Do you still have yours?” Amity asked her girlfriend.
“I never stopped keeping it in my pocket,” the girl grinned, holding her own communicator. “Thank you, Mr. Blight. This means a lot.”
“You can call me Alador, Luz. Oh, I never got to tell you. You’re welcome at our place anytime.”
She beamed at her future father-in-law, hugged him, kissed her girlfriend, and left for the theater with a spring in her step.
“You seem happy, Luz,” Anne observed.
“Oh, I’m just in a really good mood,” the afro-latina waved off before sitting next to Eda and King.
“Your girlfriend treating you right?” Eda chuckled quietly. She got her answer when Luz discretely showed her the communicator, causing the older woman to grin.
“Here we are, everyone. The Owl House. The final adventures of today. Now, quick question: have any of you noticed anything about the order of these ‘shows;?” the host asked the audience. Everyone silently contemplated the question for a minute.
“They’re getting progressively more intense?” Dipper guessed.
“That is correct. While they are being viewed in chronological order, they are also being seen in order of intensity. As I’m sure you can tell, the Danville group here has the least threatening dangers. Things pick up the pace with Gravity Falls, a town filled with horrific mysteries. Then we see Amphibia, a world that is quite literally filled with giant monsters. And now we come to the inhabitants of the Owl House.”
The other groups took a moment to realize what this meant. Then their eyes widened and they turned to face the three from the last show.
“What exactly are we in for?” Dipper asked, causing Eda to sigh.
“It’s complicated,” the Owl Lady answered. “Our home can be gross…”
“Stinky,” King added.
“And dangerous,” Luz said.
“But really, it’s who we dealt with that made everything so intense. And no, we cannot answer your questions about who.”
“It’s someone who left a mark on your group.” The three nodded after some hesitance. The host sighed. “There is another reason I brought you all here. It’s not something you’ll want to hear, but it’s something you need to hear. You all need therapy.”
Everyone, present or not, collectively winced. None of them were willing to argue against it.
“Your experiences are quite similar to each other’s, and I believe that watching them, talking through them, and just being there for each other with people who actually understand will help you get through your trauma.” There was a moment of silence as they contemplated the host’s words. “Now, shall we continue?”
Everyone nodded and turned their eyes to the screen, silently wondering just how bad the others’ experiences were.
A Lying Witch and a Warden
Azura faces down Gildersnake.
Gildersnake: Foolish child! I could swallow you whole!
The audience blinked in confusion.
“Uh, what are we watching right now?” Stan questioned.
“Oh, I know what this is. Keep watching,” Luz said.
Azura: Do not underestimate me, Gildersnake, for I am the Good Witch Azura, warrior of peace! (Poses as wind blows her hair before kneeling down and holding her staff like a bazooka.) Now eat this, sucka!
She fires off her staff, killing him.
There were a few chuckles.
“That is a humorous contradiction,” Baljeet snickered.
It is shown that it was a book report by Luz.
“What book is this?” Mabel asked.
“The Good Witch Azura!” Luz answered with pride. “The best book series ever.”
“Do you have them with you?”
“Yeah. Would you like to borrow them?”
“Yes!”
Unfortunately, the snakes she was using attacked students, and now she’s in the Principal’s office. Her mother, Camila, is also there.
“Oof! That’s rough,” Anne winced in sympathy for her fellow teen.
“Yeah. This wasn’t a good day for me,” Luz sighed. Then again, if this never happened, would I have even gone to the Demon Realm?
She had fireworks too for the Act Three Closer.
“Where did you get fireworks? Shouldn’t it be illegal for minors to purchase that?” Heinz asked.
“Um…” Luz started to sweat as the others sent her inquisitive looks.
“She pleads the Fifth! She admits to nothing,” Mabel cut in. Luz sent her a confused look, so the Pines girl gave her a thumbs up and winked.
Camila: Mija, I love your creativity, but it's gotten out of hand. Do you remember why you were in the principal's office the last three times?
Cut to a montage of Luz doing things that land her in trouble.
“What the–that stuff was nothing!” Candace complained.
“Yeah, that’s less than what I’ve gone to the office for,” Anne said.
“That last one isn’t even scary. Uncomfortable, but not scary,” Dipper added.
“That certainly was an interesting way to do Romeo and Juliet,” Hop Pop began. “I like the originality of it. Very inventive.”
Luz blinked at them. Then she smiled a very wide smile and started to sniffle.
“Thank you. Thank you all so much,” she said, on the verge of tears.
Camila: We all love that you express yourself, but if you can't learn to separate fantasy from reality, you may need to spend the summer here.
She holds out a pamphlet for Reality Check Summer Camp.
“That looks awful!” Phineas exclaimed. Ferb nodded in agreement. They wouldn’t usually get so negative, but such a place just felt so wrong to them.
Perry shivered, remembering his nightmare about the military school the boys were sent to.
“Think inside the box? What kind of place is this?!” Mabel added.
“I know, right?” Phineas responded.
“That kid looks so uncomfortable,” Polly said.
“Yep. I wouldn’t last one minute in there,” Sprig shivered.
Meanwhile…
“Mom?” Vee asked as she saw Camila frowning.
“I’m fine, mija. Just… reflecting.”
Luz: Don't worry, Mom. I won't let you down. No more weirdness! (Her snake attacks Principal Hal) That doesn't count, right?
Cut to Luz, who is standing disappointedly in front of her house, waiting for the bus.
“Ouch,” Anne winced.
Perry, Phineas and Ferb paled and looked visibly sick.
Camila: Oh! Oh, my baby! [Hugs Luz.] Now, don't worry. Summer camp is only going to be for three months. You'll be so busy balancing checkbooks and learning to... appreciate public radio, the time will fly by!
“She has a point about public radio. I listen to a lot of AM Radio myself,” Stan said.
“I’m not surprised,” Anne deadpanned.
Luz says she doesn’t like any of that stuff, and Camila says that her fantasy world is holding her back.
Camila: Summer camp is a chance to make some friends, but you have to try. Can you do that?
Luz: Yes, Mom.
Luz puts her book, The Good Witch Azura, into the trash
Camila frowned in the other room. She never wanted Luz to abandon the things that made her happy. Before she could get into any self depreciation however, she remembered that she’d already made up for this during her heart to heart with Luz.
Camila leaves for work and Luz looks through the trash for her book. An owl hoots and she looks up and sees the little owl, her book sticking out of the bag in his beak. It turns and flies away.
“Did that tiny little owl just steal all that garbage?” Wendy asked.
“Strong little fella,” Hop Pop praised.
“And here’s the weirdness,” Dipper observed, clicking his pen.
Luz follows him into an old cabin and goes through the glowing door.
Luz: Stop adorably hopping away, you—Huh? (She looks around the tent, which is full of old odds and ends.) Whoa. I thought I had a lot of weird stuff. (Grabs a creepy-looking doll.) But this? This is impressive.
“What’s going on here?” Jeremy questioned.
“Is the Owl a hoarder?” Stan added.
“Forget that. What’s going on with that door?” Dipper cut in.
Eda: Now let's see what we've got here.
The little owl lands on top of the woman's staff. She turns him around, and he becomes a wooden fixture of the staff. Luz gasps.
So did everyone else.
“Is he magic?” Mabel beamed.
They glanced at the older woman to see her smirking at them.
“I’ll tell you in a bit. Don’t wanna spoil the surprise.”
She looks through the tent to see Eda rifling through the stuff the owl brought. She calls a phone, diamond ring and a shining golden chalice “garbage”.
Eda: Now, this... (Takes out a pair of joke glasses with eyes on springs and puts them on.) This will make me rich.
The audience blinked. Then they burst into laughter, causing the witch to look at them in confusion.
“Lady, you’ve got it backwards. That stuff was worth a fortune,” Polly laughed.
“Did you know about this?” Eda turned to her apprentice. Luz nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“I didn’t want to make you upset.”
She sees the book and proceeds to burn it as kindling. Luz intervenes and tries to leave, only for the older woman to turn the door into a suitcase.
Eda: You’re not going anywhere.
“It’s a portal!” Dipper realized with a wide grin.
“Of course! It’s literally a doorway to somewhere else,” Phineas added.
“But where?” Soos wondered.
“Let me guess, you had a rough start too?” Anne asked.
“Yeah. But it worked out in the end,” Luz shrugged with a smile.
She runs, and skids to a stop mere inches away from falling off a cliff. She's clearly no longer on Earth, and has arrived in Bonesborough.
“Woah!” many of the people present exclaimed.
“Look at those people. This is incredible!” Dipper frantically wrote down everything he saw.
“Ferb, Candace, they have proportions like ours!” Phineas beamed. The boys subconsciously felt their heads while Candace placed a hand to her long neck.
“That’s a cool way to travel,” Soos observed with a chuckle as he saw the giant egg.
“This place is freaky. I love it!” Polly grinned.
“What is this incredible world?” Mabel’s eyes gleamed in wonder.
“Welcome to the town of Bonesborough,” Luz declared. “The beginning of the most awesome place ever.”
Luz: Oh, no, no, no, no! What's going on? [Shrieks as a fairy approaches her.] Oh, hello, little fairy. Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?
Fairy: (The fairy's Mouth grows to half the size of its face.) Give me your skin!
The audience shrieked.
“That’s less incredible,” Mabel said. Suddenly she and Dipper were grateful that Soos killed that fairy.
She screams, slaps the fairy into the ground.
Luz: Where am I? Did I die? Am I in the bad place?
Everyone couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“The bad place, huh?” Candace smirked, causing Luz to look sheepish.
Eda: (Touches her shoulder) You wish.
“Well, that’s threatening,” Heinz gulped.
Luz is terrified and thinks Eda is going to eat her skin.
Eda: Eat you? Why would I eat... a potential customer?
The audience tilted their heads in confusion.
“Didn’t see that coming,” Wendy said.
Eda: Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes? (Holds up a green Croc, then puts it aside and grabs a stick of men's deodorant.) A bar of green human candy? Oh, oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness?
She holds a portable TV up to Luz.
Everyone laughed again at Eda’s completely inaccurate assumption of those objects.
“So, let me get this straight. You sell human junk to these people, and they buy it?” Stan asked.
“Usually, yes,” the Owl Lady answered.
Stan and Heinz adopted pondering looks.
Luz grabs two batteries and uses them to turn the tv on. It immediately draws a crowd of customers.
“Mr. Pines, these guys could totally be potential customers,” Soos suggested.
“I like the way your handyman thinks,” Heinz grinned as Stan smiled proudly.
And that’s why he’s running the Shack now, Pines thought to himself.
Luz introduces herself.
Eda: Well, Luz, that was pretty clever... for a human.
Everyone blinked in confusion.
“Wait a minute…” Isabella began. “You called us humans earlier. Almost as if you weren’t…” Her eyes widened as the implication set in. Eda just smirked at the surprised looks.
Luz: That's kind of a weird thing for another human to say.
Eda: Oh, dear child, (Takes off her bandana to reveal pointed ears.) I'm not like you. I'm Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!
The audience gasped. Then Eda stood up on her seat so she could tower over them.
“That’s right! My name is Eda Clawthorne!” Owlbert hopped out of her hair and formed into her staff that she caught. She twirled it in her hands for a bit before striking it on the ground. Yellow magic rose up from the spot and lit up the area. “This is my palismen, Owlbert. And I am the most powerful witch who ever lived!”
Dipper dropped his pen. Mabel covered her mouth as her eyes glistened. The teens’ jaws dropped. The rest of the kids stared in wide eyed wonder. Luz and Kingshook their heads fondly.
“A real witch,” Gretchen grinned.
“This is so cool!” Sprig cheered.
“Coolest. Graunty. Ever!” Mabel beamed.
“Wow. Just… wow,” Anne said, for lack of better words.
Owl Lady. Why does that sound familiar? Isabella wondered through her, well wonder, at the witch.
Eda: I am a respected, feared-
Guard: Busted!
Candace couldn’t help but chuckle a little.
“Ugh. Cops,” Stan rolled his eyes.
Guard: (Holds up Eda's wanted poster.) Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors.
“A criminal, eh?” Stan asked with a smirk.
“Yep,” Eda answered with no shame at all.
“Welcome to the club!” Heinz grinned.
“What constitutes misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors?” Hop Pop questioned, suddenly quite wary of this woman.
“Don’t worry, Plantar. Just because I’ve broken the law doesn’t mean I’m bad. And I’m sure it’ll be explained later,” Eda waved off.
He tries to arrest her and Luz as well for associating with a criminal.
“Are you kidding me?!” Wendy exclaimed.
“Wow, this is like when I first arrived in Wartwood,” Anne noted. She glanced at Luz for a moment.
Eda uses her stuff to knock the Guard out and casts a spell to take the entire stand and they start running.
Eda: Follow me, human.
Luz: This is crazy. If I die here, my mom's gonna kill me!
Eda: Ha! I won't let 'em hurt you. A human like you is much more valuable to me alive than dead.
“It’s nothing bad!” Eda cut in before the others could comment.
Eda jumps, pulling herself and Luz onto her staff. They take off into the sky as the guard runs in.
Guard: You won't get away with this, Owl Lady! (Pause) Yeah, all right. You did. You got away with it. She got away with it, everybody! Typical.
Everyone laughed, but none of them were louder than Eda. Shame, she thought. I’m actually gonna miss messing with these goons.
Cut to Eda and a crying Luz flying on Eda's staff above the Isles.
Eda: You can open your eyes now, human.
Luz: Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you're a witch! What is this place?
Eda: This is the Boiling Isles. Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours.
“All of them?” Jeremy asked.
“As far as we know,” she shrugged.
“So the Greek Gods…?”
“Greek what?”
“Nevermind.”
Of course! Dipper thought as he wrote all this down. We thought the Nightmare Realm was the only place the weirdness came from, but there’s more. Multiple dimensions are leaking into our own! This is a major discovery!
A griffin that looks extremely similar to the one Luz made at school flies up next to them and screeches. It also breathes spiders.
Luz: I knew it!
It took everything Candace had in her to not shiver at the sight. She’d done a lot to overcome her fear of spiders, and she refused to allow it to resurface.
“What kind of biology must it have?” Dipper wondered. He was positively giddy now.
Eda: Yep. Griffins, vampires, giraffes…
Luz: Giraffes?
Eda: (As they land) Oh, yeah. We banished those guys. Bunch of freaks.
“G… giraffes? Giraffes are demons?” Baljeet questioned incredulously.
“I don’t believe it,” Isabella shook her head. “We would have noticed by now.”
“I have two theories,” Dipper began. “One: there is a massive coverup. Two: they are very good at hiding their true nature.”
“There’s one more,” his sister cut in. “They’re perfectly normal. And Dipper’s just crazy.”
“That’s not a theory! That’s not a theory!”
While the others laughed at the twins’ antics, Perry was absolutely gobsmacked. Carl and Monogram weren’t any better off.
“Uh, Carl… we might want to schedule an appointment with our savannah department.”
“I’ll… get right on that, sir.”
Eda says she’ll send Luz home in exchange for her help with something. In the meantime they arrive at the Owl House, protected by her state of the art defense system: Hooty.
The door for the Owl House Room suddenly glowed and changed to have the demon himself on it.
“Hey, everybody!” Hooty shrieked and stretched out to greet them. “My name’s Hooty! Hoot!”
“Sheesh. And I thought my life couldn’t get any creepier,” the old Pines complained as he rubbed his ears.
Hooty: Hoot-hoot! Password, please!
Eda: (Pokes his eyes) We got no time for this, Hooty. Let us in.
Hooty: All right, all right! Geez! You never want to have any fun! Ow! Hoot!
There were a few chuckles.
Hooty opens his mouth wide enough to completely cover the door. Eda and Luz step through, though Eda's bag stays outside. Hooty closes his mouth and burps.
The only ones not disturbed were the kids from Danville.
Eda: Welcome to… the Owl House!
“Your home is so lovely,” Mabel praised.
Eda sighed with a smile. It’ll look like that again soon enough.
Eda: Where I hide away the pressures of modern life. Also the cops. Mm, also ex-boyfriends.
“Hear ya there,” Wendy smirked and offered the older woman a fist bump. She reciprocated the gesture with her own smirk.
Luz asks if she lives alone. Eda says that she has a roommate.
King: (Beginning as appearing large and intimidating) Who dares intrude upon I, (appears normal after a shower) the King of Demons?
He squeaks a rubber duck.
There were a few laughs and aws at the sight, causing King grumbled.
“This is so humiliating!” the little Titan complained.
“The King of Demons?” Heinz’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know we were in the presence of royalty.”
“Um…” King was cut off by the silencing spell. “Looks like I can’t confirm or deny anything.” That caused everyone to look at him curiously.
Wasn’t Bill incharge of all those demons? Dipper wondered with worry.
Luz: (Gasps) ¡Ay, que lindo! (Runs forward and scoops King up in a hug.) Eda, he's so cute! Who's a widdle guy? Who's a widdle guy? Is it you? Is it you?
King: (Struggles to free himself.) No! I don't know who your little guy is! Eda, who is this monster?!
The audience laughed and awed more.
“Ay, que lindo is right,” Isabella gushed. “Who’s a cute little dog-like king? You are!”
“No! This is embarrassing! Please stop… Oo. Tommy scratches? Please continue.” He relaxed as the mexican-jewish girl scratched his belly.
Eda says that she’s here to help with their “situation”. King is thrilled.
Everyone leaned over in their seats. Time to find out what was going on.
Eda: Just... let me explain. (Draws a spell circle that darkens and effectively turns into a storybook. Narrating.) King was once a mighty king of demons, until his Crown of Power was stolen, and he became... this.
Everyone began to look at the little demon in a new light.
“That… makes sense,” Candace said.
“It does?” King and a few others in the audience questioned.
“Yeah. Seriously, have you seen my brothers? Nothing’s crazy anymore.”
“She makes a good point,” Polly stated.
“Alright,” Sprig shrugged. “Long live the King.”
“Long live the King,” the rest of the kids echoed. King himself… didn’t know how to react. So, he decided he’d deal with that later.
“I’m still skeptical,” Baljeet crossed his arms.
“Me too,” Stacy agreed. “You sure about this, Candirocks?”
“I have experience in this arena, remember?”
“What? It’s not like you yourself are…” She trailed off at the flat look the redhead sent her. “Oh. Right. Mars.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m dating a Queen,” Jeremy smirked in a whisper.
The Pines family and co were having very different reactions from the others. They were doing a good job at hiding it. But inside they were absolutely terrified.
No. Please don’t be Bill. Please don’t be Bill. Please don’t be Bill.
Eda: The crown is being held by the evil Warden Wrath and locked away behind a magical force field that only a human can break through.
The storybook circle fades, returning to Luz still hugging King.
There were more aws.
“That is most clever. With no humans around, the crown should be unreachable,” Ferb nodded.
Luz suddenly perked up. There was one other human around. Oh, that makes sense.
Eda offers to return her to the Human Realm if she can help get the crown.
Eda: Plus, (Picks up King by his face and shakes him gently.) who could say no to this cute face?
King: No! Please don't encourage her!
The audience laughed.
“Why don’t you just use your cuteness to win back your throne?” Heinz asked. “I’ve seen a situation where it works.”
“At the cost of my dignity? No! I am not a baby!” he stomped his foot. This only caused more aws. “No!”
Luz doesn’t really have a choice, so she agrees.
“Did you just kidnap her?” Hop Pop chided with his hands on his hips.
“Eh?” Eda waved her hand in an iffy gesture. “Doesn’t matter now. Right, kid?”
“Right,” Luz chirped. Then she leaned in close to whisper. “But my Mom might not like this.”
Eda blanched, panic sweeping in.
King: (Picks up his rubber duck.) Soon, Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us.
Everyone laughed again.
“Oo, I like that. Soos! Remind me to use that phrase at some point,” Stan ordered.
“Yes sir, Mr. Pines,” the handyman saluted.
They arrive at the Conformatorium.
Eda: The Conformatorium, a place for those considered unsuitable for society.
“So what? People who get busted for doing bad things?” Candace asked.
“If only,” Eda scoffed.
“You’ll see,” Luz added.
Luz sees a wanted poster for Eda, indicating that they really “have the hots for her”. But they’re never caught because the two are too slippery.
King: Try to catch me when I'm covered in grease. I'm a squirmy little fella.
King giggled to himself as the others chuckled. Perry cupped his bill as he looked at the little guy.
Luz and King will get the crown while Eda distracts the Warden. Luz uses her cat hoodie as her disguise.
King: It's hideous.
Eda: Oh, you'll fit right in.
There were more laughs.
Eda taps the butt of her staff against the ground, creating a round glowing platform. She steps away from it. The platform rises, floating all the way up to a window in the tower.
“So cool,” Mabel breathed out. I’ve found my hero.
After struggling to get in the window, Luz and King marvel at the number of prison cells before them.
“Wow, that’s one big dungeon,” Sprig said.
“Sheesh, I wouldn’t wanna end up in that place,” Stan grimaced.
She meets Katya in her cell and explains that she’s not a criminal.
Katya: Neither are we. The stupid warden likes to lock people up who don't fit in.
“Wait, what?” Candace asked with a frown. The others had the same look.
Katya writes fanfiction about food falling in love. Another demon likes to eat his own eyeballs. Tinella Nosa is a conspiracy theorist.
Tinella Nosa: The world is a simulation! We are but playthings for a higher being!
The audience was silent for a minute. Then Wendy turned to the found family.
“The Boiling Isles are a dictatorship, aren’t they?”
The three of them nodded solemnly.
The chaos was instant as everyone devolved into a mess of dialogue.
“How did that happen?!” The teens exclaimed.
“Who managed to conquer a world of witches?!” Heinz questioned.
“How long has this been going on?!” Sprig screamed.
“How many people have been hurt like this?!” Mabel cried.
“Alright, enough!” Eda shouted above them all. That was enough to finally silence them. “Look, your questions will be answered eventually. But we can’t do that right now. Alright?” Everyone silently nodded. “Good.”
The witch pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long suffering sigh. Luz and King placed a hand on her arms from each side of her in comfort.
Luz realizes that they’re not criminals. They’re just weirdos like her.
Candace’s face softened. This… this wasn’t fair. Not by a long shot. These weren’t the type of people to be busted. This wasn’t justice. This was… This was cruelty.
Luz hides when Warden Wrath shows up, and takes Tinella away to torture her.
Warden Wrath: Let this be a lesson to all of you. There's no place in society for you if you can't fit in.
“You’re the one who should be in those cells!” Candace and Wendy yelled.
“This guy needs to be busted,” Candace glared at the screen.
“Yeah. Stick it to authority.”
“Well, not all authority. Some are good and needed.”
“Whatever you say, city girl,” Wendy shrugged.
Luz tries to free them but alas…
Luz: No! My weak nerd arms!
Dipper and Baljeet frowned, looked down at their own arms and sighed. They could relate. But then they remembered the physical feats they’d done and smiled.
Luz smiled too. She’d gotten over that issue after a few weeks with Eda. Her communicator then beeped. She looked down to read it.
“Weak nerd arms? You carried me.”
“Thank Eda for that.”
“I will.”
Katya tells Luz to enjoy freedom for them. She reluctantly leaves and reunites with Eda.
Eda: Hey, I just checked. The warden is distracted, tormenting some tiny creature. He won't be coming around here anytime soon.
The audience let out painful sounds of sympathy at that.
They reach a towering door reading "CONTRABAND".
King: My crown! It's close! I can sense its power!
He runs up to the door and fiddles with the doorknob that's as big as he is.
Eda: Aw, he gets so cute when he's thirsty for power.
Everyone laughed, grateful for the reprieve from the tense scene they just watched.
Luz: It's not fair that they're all in here. They just want to be themselves. Why does everyone think that being a weirdo is so bad?
The others frowned. They could relate to those words. Some more than others, but they still could.
King removes the doorknob and runs inside, only to hurt himself upon colliding with the shield. Luz succeeds to go through it.
“How does a thing like that work?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah, does it need human DNA to only let one in,” Polly added.
“Huh,” Eda responded. “I don’t know. Probably.”
Belos’ DNA, Luz thought.
There’s a massive pile of junk. On top is a glowing crown.
Luz: Wait a second. Is that a…
It’s a Burger Queen paper crown.
Silence reigned over the group.
King: My crown! (He jumps in place before taking the crown from Luz and placing it on his head.) Yes. Yes! I can feel my powers returning! You, there. Nightmare critter. (He points to a stuffed rabbit) I shall call you Francious, and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness. Ha-ha!
“You risked your lives for this?!” Stacy exclaimed.
“It uh… it was a test of loyalty. Which they passed?” King offered, not sure if his words, no matter how true it was to what he believed at the time, would sooth the frustrations of everyone around him.
The Gravity Falls group blinked. Then they sighed in relief. He wasn’t Bill. Then they exchanged glances and laughed. They laughed until tears started falling out. The others sent them weird looks.
“You have to admit dudes, this is pretty funny,” Soos said. After a moment, everyone else joined in, even King.
“So… you’re not the King of demons?” Polly asked.
King was once again cut off by the silencing spell.
“You’re not denying it,” Dipper noticed, a few fears returning to him.
“You know what? I believe you!” Heinz declared with a smile.
“You do?” King asked.
“Why not? I get blown up everyday and I’m perfectly fine. So, why not believe you’re the King of demons?”
The rest of the kids and a few teens nodded in agreement. King had no idea what to do about this. He wasn’t comfortable with being worshiped for a fantasy. Nor was he okay with being followed as a god like Lilith did. So, he decided he would just stay silent about it until the truth came out.
Luz: That crown doesn't give him any powers, does it?
Eda: Uh, no. (Luz glares at her) Oh, look at us, Luz. King and I don't have much in this world. We only have each other. So if that dumb crown is important to him, it's important to me. And besides, us weirdos have to stick together, you know?
“You know what? I think you’re surrounded by weirdos at this point,” Dipper chuckled humorlessly. Though the smile remained on his face. “I’m obsessive over conspiracy theories. Not as much as Tiny Nose over there, but enough where it can be off putting.”
“And I really love romance,” his sister added.
“I spent an entire summer trying to bust my brothers,” Candace continued.
“We build inventions everyday,” Phineas beamed.
“I’m a nerd that loves education,” Baljeet said.
“I’m kinda a goofball,” Soos laughed and chomped on a chocolate bar.
“I lose focus and dive into danger,” Sprig affirmed.
“I love violence,” Polly chirped.
“I was an outcast as a child. And still am,” Heinz spoke.
“I was floating through life,” Anne mentioned.
“I’m perfectly normal,” Stan waved off. His niece and nephew both elbowed him. “Alright, fine! I’m very obsessed with money.”
“Face it, Luz. You’re one of us,” Dipper smiled.
Luz just stared at them all. Then a smile formed on her face and she did her best to hide the forming tears.
“Thank you. Thank you all so much.”
“What kind of a group are we?” Candace chuckled.
“You heard what Eda said. One that's got to stick together.”
They’re about to leave but it’s too late. Wrath morphs his hand into a blade and decapitates Eda. Luz catches her head and screams.
The audience screamed too. Candace being the loudest among them.
“Hot Belgian waffles!” Stan exclaimed.
“Oh, my Frog!” the Plantars screamed.
“Are you dead?! Are you a ghost?!” Soos questioned with fear.
The Gravity Falls residents turned to Dipper, who then flipped through the pages of the Journal. Then he remembered a device he used at the Northwest Mansion and got up from his seat to leave the room.
Eda plays dead for a second and starts complaining. Luz screams louder.
“You’re alive?!” heinz exclaimed. “What a minute, why am I surprised? I was literally just talking about how I get blown up all the time.”
“Is this a witch thing?” Dipper asked, returning to his seat.
Luz: Eda! Are you okay?
Eda: Yeah. This just happens when you get older.
Luz: Does it?
“Yep!” Eda lied, and pulled off her head. “What do you think?”
Many recoiled in disgust. But not all of them.
“Cool!” Polly and Phineas beamed.
“So gross,” Mabel said. “Oh, but this power just makes you even cooler!”
Wrath explains that this was his plan all along. He crushes King’s crown just to be mean.
Everyone gave him the stink eye for that. That was just cruel.
Eda: What do you want with me? I've never actually broken any of your stupid laws... in front of you.
There were a few chuckles despite the tense situation.
Wrath: I want you... (He pulls out a bouquet of flowers.) to go out with me.
“Huh?” just about everyone went.
“I admit, I did not see that coming,” Dipper said, flabbergasted.
Eda and Luz are both confused and disgusted.
Wrath: You've always eluded our capture. You've always been the one who got away. I found that alluring.
“Wow. That is… I don’t have words,” Anne shook her head.
“The one that got away,” Stan laughed to himself.
Mabel frowned at the screen and turned to see that Eda was crossing her arms, clearly uncomfortable at reliving this memory. Then she stood up, walked over to her Graunty, and gave her a hug, momentarily throwing the witch off.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” the Pines girl spoke softly as she held Eda tightly.
Eda returned the hug.
“Me too. That shouldn’t have happened to you either.”
“Why are the creepy guys the only ones who want us?”
“Chin up, Kido,” Clawthorne gently lifted the girl’s chin with a finger so she could meet her eyes. “You’re a sweet girl in a world with billions of people. You’ll find someone who’s a match for you. Believe me, I can talk from experience.” Then she lowered her face to whisper in her ear. “There’s a reason I told your Grunkle I was taken,” Eda grinned.
“A gorgeous lady like you? I believe it,” Mabel beamed.
“Oh, you’re definitely my favorite twin.”
Luz: I hate everything you're saying right now.
Wrath tosses the bouquet over his shoulder, turning his now free hand into tentacles to grab Luz. She looks at her and King with worry.
The audience practically growled.
Eda: All right, Warden. You win. I'd just like to say something first. Come closer. No. Just come a little bit closer. Just... Yeah, that's good.
She blows a raspberry. He drops Luz and complains about the germs.
“Take that, you stupid jerk!” Mabel yelled.
While he’s distracted, Luz hits him in the head with Eda's staff. He falls to the ground with a loud crash. Eda’s body takes care of the two Guards.
“Nice hit, Luz,” Anne gave her a thumbs up.
“Thanks.”
They fly away on Owlbert and free the prisoners while they go.
“Yes! Be free!” Wendy cheered.
Once they get outside, the Warden uses one of his tentacles to hit the staff, causing them to crash on the ground. Eda gives Luz the Portal Key, telling her to go home.
Luz: What about you guys?
King: If you think this guy is bad, you shoulda seen her last boyfriend!
Eda: Not my boyfriend.
There were a few chuckles.
As Wrath and Eda have an epic duel, Luz flies down to see the prisoners haven’t left yet.
Luz: Why are you guys just standing there? This is your chance to escape!
Eye-Eating Prisoner: The warden'll catch us. He always does.
Katya: We belong here.
Tinella: Self-doubt is a pwison you can never escape fwom.
“Oof! Did anyone else feel that?” Sprig winced.
Dipper, Candace, Anne and Luz looked down and frowned. They knew exactly what that was like.
Luz tells them that being weirdos makes them awesome. Katya asks why she’s helping them.
Luz: Because us weirdos have to stick together. And nobody should be punished for who they are.
The audience cheered and clapped at her words.
The prisoners attack and pin the Warden to the ground.
Warden Wrath: You! Who do you think you are?
Luz: Do not underestimate me, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz, the human, warrior of peace. (Wind blows her hair.) Now eat this, sucka!
She pulls out her fireworks and hits it with Eda’s staff into the Warden’s mouth and goes off. He immediately retreats.
“Yeah!” everyone cheered.
“Well, he’s not quite busted, but I’ll take it,” Candace shrugged.
“Agreed,” Wendy nodded.
“Wait, that was your bag for camp. Were you going to bring the fireworks to camp?” Hop Pop questioned.
“Uh…”
“She pleads the Fifth,” Mabel cut in for the second time.
“Yeah. I plead the Fifth.”
“Come here,” Stan sniffled, wiping away a tear as he pulled his grandniece into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Pumpkin.”
King: That was actually one of her better breakups.
Eda: Not a breakup. Anyway, let's bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.
That got some laughs from the others.
They fly away on Owlbert and return to the Owl House. Eda activates the Portal Door, saying a deal’s a deal.
Luz: Before I go... I know it's not the same, but... (Removes Azura Doll's crown) a king shouldn't be without a crown.
King: (Accepts the crown and places it on his head) This shall suffice. You there, plant! You are now under my command.
There were a few chuckles and aws.
Eda gives Luz her book and looks at the Reality Check Camp pamphlet. She stops before the door and looks from the book to the mirror. The images match!
“You’re gonna stay there, aren’t you?” Isabela realized. Luz just smiled.
Luz: Okay. I know you got your head cut off, and we started some kind of prison riot, but this was the most fun I've ever had.
Eda blinks in surprise.
“Yep, nothing like a near death experience to make your day!” Sprig grinned. The others sent him disturbed looks.
Luz: I don't fit in at home. You don't fit in here. If I stay, we could not fit in together. (She looks at the pamphlet for Reality Check one last time, then crumples it.) I'm not going back to summer camp.
“Yeah! To heck with that place!” Mabel cheered. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and Perry sighed in relief. He’d rather the girl deal with this place than a camp like that.
Luz: I want to stay and become a witch. Like you. And Azura.
Eda says humans can’t become witches. Luz suggests that it’s because no human’s ever tried.
“You’re gonna become a witch?” Candace asked.
“That is so cool!” Phineas beamed.
“Heck yeah!” Polly accentuated with a fist pump. “You’re just like-” she was cut off by the silencing spell. “Nevermind.”
“I have so many questions. Why can’t humans become witches? Is there a way we can?” Dipper asked eagerly.
“Maybe I already did?” Luz answered cryptically with a grin.
Everyone began expressing their amazement at the situation. Anne however, was silently processing all this with a frown.
King: Let her stay! She can make us snacks.
There were once again a few chuckles at King’s words.
Eda: All right. I'll teach you how to be a witch. But you have to work for me before you learn any spells. Deal?
Luz crushes the two in a hug, much to their confusion.
“Best decision I ever made,” Eda smiled and ruffled her surrogate daughter’s hair.
“Mine too,” Luz said, pulling Eda and King into a hug. This time, they properly reciprocated the gesture.
“Let me get some of that!” Hooty shouted and wrapped himself around the trio. Unfortunately, he was way too tight.
“Hooty! You’re killing us!” they exclaimed.
Luz is set up in the storage room and reads a text from her mother. “How's summer camp?” King enters the room, saying that her sleep cocoon looks comfy. He curls up like a dog and falls asleep at her feet.
“Aw, you’re even doing the adorable thing dogs do before they sleep,” Mabel and Isabella gushed. The Titan just sighed.
“He’s just like a dog,” Isabella praised.
“I am not like a dog!” he yelled, while also scratching his neck with a hind leg, like a dog.
Luz replies to the text, saying “I think I'm gonna like it here.”
“Anne? Are you okay?” Sprig asked, finally seeing that his sister was unusually silent. Everyone turned to the Thai girl.
“Anne?” Luz queried.
“You chose to stay there?” She spoke up.
“Oh,” Luz’s eyes widened. Then her face softened in understanding. “I… It’s not like I was planning on staying there forever. I was going to go home after the Summer. This was… this was different from what happened to you.”
“I guess you’re right,” Boonchuy sighed. “You said earlier that you understood what I was going through. Being far away from my parents. Is this what you were talking about?”
That caused the Noceda to wince.
“Yes. And no. You’ll find out in… When will we get to that?”
“Day 5 or 6. I’ll have to review the schedule,” the host answered. But, we’ll never get there if we don’t finish things up here. So, let’s watch the next episode.”
Witches Before Wizards
Luz wakes up with a gasp and looks around the room. King is snoring.
Luz: It wasn’t a dream!
“Oh, man. I remember feeling like that the day after we fought the gnomes,” Dipper smiled.
“Knowing magical thingies were real was a truly beautiful moment,” Mabel sighed.
“It really is,” Luz said.
Luz: (Picks up King, waking him) Good morning, you little cutie-pie.
She kisses his head repeatedly.
King: I am not your cutie-pie!
Luz: Yes, you are.
She hugs him tightly before putting him back down.
King: (Sighs.) I know.
The audience laughed.
“The defeated tone is so hilarious!” Heinz guffawed.
“Stop laughing!” King demanded.
“Yes. Get angry. It’ll make you funnier.”
“Weh!” King squeaked out in rage, leaping onto the man’s head, and yanking on his hair. Doofenshmirtz started howling in pain.
“Ow! Stan! Perry the Platypus! Help me!”
“Sorry, Heinz. It’s like you said: anger makes him funny,” Pines shrugged.
Perry was trying his best not to laugh as the little guy got his revenge. He’d be a good fighter with some training.
She’s greeted by Hooty, and she karate chops him out of surprise.
“Sorry, Hooty.”
“Don’t worry, Luz. Hoot!”
Luz: This is it, old girl. Your first day on the Boiling Isles, as a Witch Apprentice.
“You go, girl! Follow your dreams!” Mabel and Stacy cheered.
“Carpe diem,” Phineas said.
“Translation: seize the day,” Ferb added.
“Shoot to the moon,” Anne smirked with a finger gun. Then she winced, remembering what she herself did.
Luz finds a closet full of stereotypical witch clothes and puts them on.
“Cute,” was Amity’s message to Luz, causing her girlfriend to laugh quietly.
Eda walks into the kitchen, barely awake. She doesn’t recognize Luz, much to the girl’s horror.
“I’m like that when I wake up as well,” Stan shrugged. “Just need some coffee to get me back into shape.”
The intro plays.
“Woah! I love that music,” Mabel gushed.
“Is it just me, or does the music in our intro sound similar?” her twin realized.
“Huh, I think you’re right,” Isabella nodded. “Our show, not as much, but you guyses, definitely.”
“I bet we could make a nice mashup out of this,” Soos suggested.
(I’ve tried finding one on YouTube, but there doesn’t seem to be one with all four shows. Let me know if there is one down in the comments. Or if you’d like to see me make one on my YouTube channel, I could give it a shot.)
Luz summarizes what happened yesterday.
Eda: Kid, lay off the details. I haven't even had my cup of apple blood yet.
No. She does not mean apple juice.
“I’m… confused,” Candace said for everyone.
“Best not to get into it,” Eda waved off.
Eda gets a drink from her “Over Thirty and Flirty” mug.
Stan blinked at the sight. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as old memories came back for the second time that day.
“Huh. Marylin had a shirt that said the same thing as that mug there.”
“Really? I got that mug in Vegas,” Clawthoren said. Dipper, Luz and King blanched while the other kids and teens stared at the two.
Luz excitedly asks for lessons, a staff or a quest. Eda explains that becoming a witch doesn’t happen overnight.
Eda: Also, you're wrapped in a bathrobe and wearing the dirtiest traffic cone I've ever seen.
Luz pulls her hat off and blows on it, revealing that it was, in fact, a traffic cone with a severe layer of dust on it. King laughs.
“Oh man, I completely forgot about that,” Luz laughed with King and Eda.
Eda summons her staff. There’s a lot of loud crashing sounds along the way.
The audience winced at hearing all the destruction.
“Ugh, that took forever to clean up,” Eda groaned.
Eda explains that witches earn their staffs through school. But here, she’ll have to work for it. She gives Luz a bag of potions that she’ll have to deliver to her clients. And to be careful because she has rivals everywhere.
“How much of this was just getting her to do your work for you?” Wendy questioned.
“Only half. If she’s gonna become a witch, then she has to learn more about the Isles. And what better way than to sell things to the people there?” No one could argue with that logic.
Luz: I won't let you down, Miss Eda.
She accidentally drops the bag, smashing all the potions.
Everyone winced.
Eda sends Luz off with a new bag.
Eda: Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.
“What does that even mean?” Anne asked.
“It’s business talk,” Stan answered.
“Always good to know how to properly haggle,” Hop Pop nodded.
“Agreed,” Mabel said.
Eda: I hate to interrupt your power nap, but you have to go with her.
King: What? But I just found the perfect spot.
There were a few chuckles at King acting like a dog. Perry nodded, he could relate.
Eda: You and I know she's either going to get lost or eaten, probably both.
“I wasn’t serious,” Eda defended from the glares she got. “Mostly.”
King agrees at the threat of paying rent. He and Luz walk through Bonesborough. She stares at all the passing demons in amazement.
“Look at the architecture. This place is incredible,” Dipper marveled.
“Yeah, it’s all old timey and stuff,” his sister agreed.
Luz asks if she’s the only human here. King says that he’s never seen another.
“Interesting,” Dipper and Baljeet noted.
Luz frowned. She wasn’t the only human there.
She speculates that she must have some predestined path for greatness, like Azura.
King: Yeah. Did Azura's path to greatness involve her delivering boil cream?
“Yeah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Jeremy said with a light chuckle.
Luz is optimistic while King is doubtful. They start their deliveries. She meets a centaur with a face on his chest and nearly gets her arm eaten by a baby house demon.
“Well, that’s not what I imagined centaurs to be like,” Mabel blinked.
“Aw~. Little baby house demon still can’t tell who’s a guest yet. How cute,” Hooty gushed.
“That’s a strong word,” Heinz said flatly.
She sits forlornly with King on a curb, lamenting about how rough the day has been.
“Life doesn’t just make you into the person you wanna be,” Hop Pop shook his head. “It’s like farming. You have to put work into it so it’ll give something back.”
“Wise words, Mr. Plantar,” Luz nodded. “Yeah, this was the day I learned that.”
They go to deliver the last package and see that the address is a beautiful castle.
“Holy cow! Look at that place. It’s nicer than all the other buildings. Whoever owns it must have deep pockets,” Stan grinned.
Perry narrowed his eyes. That also made it very out of place.
They go inside and meet the Wizard Adegast. King calls him a “weird old man in jim-jams.”
The audience members were in awe until they heard the little demon say that. Then they couldn’t help but snicker.
King doesn’t trust him, but forgets that when Luz points out that there’s scones.
Everyone laughed at that.
“Will you do anything for food?” Polly smirked.
“No I… won’t,” he trailed off as he saw the pollywog waving a cookie. “Yes. Yes I will.”
Luz explains that she’s Eda’s apprentice. He asks how it’s going so far.
Luz: When I decided to stay in this magical world, I thought I was meant for something special. But Eda thinks I'm meant for chores and I'm afraid I came to the wrong place.
Eda frowned at hearing her say that. Seeing this, Luz placed a hand on her wounded arm. The missing limb was hidden in a careful illusion that had some mass to it. But it wasn’t the real thing.
“I was wrong, Eda. There’s nowhere better I could have gone.”
“Thanks,” she smiled. “But you were right to think that, Kiddo. I wasn’t being a great teacher at the time.”
“But you became the best one ever.”
He offers to give her a quest, unfurling a map.
Adegast: The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil. Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason.
He says that only the Chosen One will obtain the Celestial Staff.
“You’re connected to a prophecy?” Anne asked. Her too? Luz just looked away from her. Heinz and Stan covered their mouths to stifle their laughter.
“This is a little… convenient,” Dipper noticed.
“I don’t like this,” Candace said. Perry nodded to her in agreement.
They’re back in Luz’s bedroom. She asks King what type of Chosen One should she be.
Luz: (Picks up her book.) Should I be full of optimism and goodness, like the Good Witch Azura? Or should I be like a bad girl Chosen One with black nail polish and a mysteriously withdrawn attitude? (Uses the book as a mouth.) "I act like I don't care, but I secretly do."
The audience chortled at that.
“Definitely the first one. That’s more you,” Sprig said.
“You sure you weren’t describing your type with the second one?” Eda smirked, causing Luz to blink.
“Huh.” Then she blushed. She heard a beeping and looked down to see her girlfriend’s newest message.
“Sounds like me.”
Eda walks in. King asks her to tell Luz wizards are dumb.
Eda: Ugh! Wizards are the worst. Never trust a man in casual drapery.
“Now, hang on a second. That’s not fair,” Stan argued. “I don’t wear pants in the house and I’m fine.”
Many in the audience gave him flat looks.
“Are you seriously saying that you’re trustworthy?” Anne deadpanned.
“I am.” The others just groaned. “What? I am!”
“This~ might be a problem later down the road,” Dipper said to his sister.
“They’ll learn the truth. Eventually,” she tried to ease his worries.
King: Your wizard client told Luz... she was a— was a Chosen One! (Laughing.)
Eda: Wait, wait, Luz?
She laughs so hard she falls onto the floor. Luz hides her face in embarrassment.
Stan and Doof didn’t hide their laughter this time and guffawed openly. No one really paid them any mind ‘cause it was kind of expected of them at this point.
“Kid, I’m sorry if I sound condescending, but this guy was clearly scamming. Those two can see it too,” Pines laughed.
Luz just sighed. She was so naive back then.
Eda inspects the map, claiming it’s bunk. She would have taken the Celestial Staff years ago if it were real.
Eda: Ah, don't worry. Couple more months here and you won't look like such a mark.
Luz asks for some time alone.
“Okay, I’ll admit that laughing was very insensitive. I’m sorry,” King apologized.
“I’m sorry too,” Eda said.
“It’s okay,” Luz smiled. “You can make it up to me by spending the afternoon with me. It’s been a while since we did that,” she whispered the last part.
After they leave, she notices that there’s a secret message. “The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy.” Luz wonders if she’s worthy.
Luz: I'll never know unless I try.
“Trying’s a good start for anything,” Anne nodded.
“Something’s still bothering me about all this,” Candace frowned.
“Me too,” Dipper said.
Perry nodded in agreement.
Eda asks King about the Wizard. She’s suspicious of him.
King: Less talky, more nappy.
There were a few chuckles.
“I’m gonna use that from now on,” Anne said. Marcy probably will too.
Eda goes to Luz’s room and sees that she’s gone.
“You’re gonna go after her, aren’t ya?” Hop Pop asked with a smirk.
“Yep.”
Luz marches through the fog on her first magical quest.
Luz: Okay. Got my scroll, got my youthful optimism, got my trusty weapon.
Pulls out the toy sword.
“Um… I don’t think that’ll work too well,” Isabella said.
“You’d be surprised,” Luz countered.
Luz questions if she made the right choice. She finds a village full of cats wearing clothes and walking on two legs. Luz walks through the village, beaming as she looks around. She approaches a fountain in the middle of a square, from which a witch with a sword strapped to his waist emerges, flipping wet hair out of his face. His name is Nevareth.
Luz: (Staring at his biceps.) Yes. Yes, I did make the right choice.
The audience laughed at that, causing Luz to blush brightly.
“Muscles,” Mabel said in a daze. “Big muscles.”
“Oh come on! I thought you finally grew out of your boycrazy phase when you wrote “Mabel + Mabel” on that tree?” her brother groaned.
“Just because I did that and learned to love myself doesn’t mean I’m just gonna stop liking that,” she pointed to the screen.
“I wonder how Boots is reacting to this,” Eda whispered.
“Oh, I’m sure Amity isn’t bothered by this,” Luz waved off.
Meanwhile in the Owl House Room…
Amity smashed a bust of Nevareth’s head that she made from abomination goo with a hammer that her dad gave her. She cast a spell circle and reformed the bust. And smashed it again. She repeated the process over and over with no end in sight.
“Your daughter is quite territorial,” Darius noted.
“Apparently, yes,” Alador stared at her.
“Should we intervene?” Camila asked.
“I’ll handle it,” Lilith said, marching over to the Blight girl. Amity stopped to face her. Then Lilith placed her hand on the ground and a stone bust of Nevareth rose up. “Stone is much more fun to crush.”
Amity grinned and smashed it.
“Wow. That crack is so much more satisfying to hear.”
King and Eda arrive at the castle to find it in ruins.
Eda: I don’t like this.
“What?” Sprig questioned.
“Uh, that doesn’t look good, dudes,” Soos stated.
“Something is seriously wrong here,” Candace said.
Tattered scrolls now litter the floor, shelves are broken, paintings are ripped, and chunks of debris are blocking the stairs. Eda steps forward, onto a bundle of scrolls. She picks them all up, each illuminated with the glowing message of: "The chosen one".
Eda: I really don't like this.
“This is bigger than just some scam, isn’t it?” Anne asked. The others were silent.
Luz travels with Nevareth and his animal sidekick.
Nevareth: Lady Luz, do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?
Luz: This quest is questing in all the right ways.
“Heck yeah, it is!” Mabel exclaimed. “And yes it can.”
Dipper just grumbled while the others snickered. Luz meanwhile was trying very hard to hide her blush. And in the other room, Amity kept smashing sculptures of Nevareth’s head.
A bridge is blocked by a small creature.
Chris: Hum-di-diddle, to pass the bridge, you must first solve my riddle.
Luz: Hit me, little man.
Chris: Your quest shall stop if you fail this game. So tell me, my dear, what is my name?
His name tag says “Chris.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Polly deadpanned.
“This guy isn’t even trying!” Stan complained.
“Or maybe he’s just stupid?” Wendy guessed.
He allows her to cross and gives her a ring. Nevareth asks if she needs a cape, and uses his shirt.
Luz: Yes. I need a cape.
Everyone, even Dipper despite his sister ogling at the image, guffawed loudly.
“Careful, Kiddo,” Eda whispered teasingly. “Don’t want to make Boots feel jealous.”
Luz’s eyes widened and she quickly began typing on her comm.
U okay?
Amity halted in her pummeling when she heard the sound of Luz’s message. She frowned upon reading it and lowered the massive abomination fists she’d conjured.
Better now, she sent.
U R the only 1 4 me.
All of Amity’s negative emotions melted away at the exact words she needed, and the young witch smiled gently.
I’m gonna marry that girl.
They give three cheers for the chosen one.
Nevareth: Hip, hip…
Eda: Oh, no.
She and King are standing in the cat village, which is now destroyed. Dark clouds hang in the sky and fog clouds hang in front of the houses.
The audience gasped at the sight.
“Okay, before I was suspicious. Now, I’m scared,” Candace admitted. The others nodded in agreement.
King: (Sniffing.) Can't mistake her smell. Like lemons and young, naïve confidence.
There were a few chuckles and Dipper added that to Luz’s page.
Eda walks up to the fountain, which is now broken and covered in dying vines. A cat wrapped in vines is laying in the lower basin. Eda kneels in front of the fountain.
Cat: To find your pupil and still your wrath, look ahead and follow the path.
It cackles as it disintegrates, and Eda realizes this is a trap for her.
“The Warden?” Dipper theorized.
“He did seem pretty mad when you turned him down,” Anne nodded.
“It’s not Wrath. This was something else,” Eda said.
Cut to the woods, where, along with Nevareth and Chris, Luz is walking with a fairy much less hostile than the one she met the day before. Luz thanks her for the feast. She gives Luz two bracelets.
Perry narrowed his eyes at the bracelets. Luz sure was getting a lot of gifts. Something about them rubbed him the wrong way.
Luz goes on ahead to retrieve the staff. The Celestial Staff stands on a platform in the middle of a lake, illuminated by a ray of light.
Luz: I knew this world wasn't all gloom and doom like Eda and King said. There is wonder here. And I... I think I came here for a reason.
Eda and King could only lean into Luz gently.
She hesitantly grabs the staff. Blue swirls of magic come out of it, creating waves in the lake as the top of the staff glows brightly. She pulls it out of the ground and holds it above her head triumphantly.
Luz: Yes! I am the Chosen One! I knew it! I always suspected there was a reason nobody understood my wacky antics back at home. Now I have concrete proof.
“Alright, where’s the catch?” Stan crossed his arms. “As someone who has scammed a lot of people, I know there’s always a catch.”
“He’s a crook, but he also has a point,” Polly agreed.
“Just watch. You’ll see it in a second,” Luz answered.
Suddenly, the staff disintegrates. The illusions all around her crumble, leaving Luz confused.
“There it is,” Pines said.
Eda and King ride on Owlbert swiftly.
Eda: I know this guy. He's no wizard. He's what you'd call a puppeteer, a demon who specializes in scamming and manipulating people. He's trying to use Luz to get to me.
And they’re gonna spring the trap.
“So all of those cats then were puppets?” Dipper asked, writing down this new piece of information on a new page.
“Yes,” Eda nodded. This surprisingly caused the twins to shiver. “Do we wanna know?”
“No,” they both said.
“She’s really grown on ya, hasn’t she?” Hop Pop chuckled. “Ya coulda easily left her there, but you went outta your way to save her.”
“Yep,” Clawthorne smiled. “Kids have a way of doing that to you.”
“They sure do.”
Adegast walks through the mist, much to Luz’s confusion.
Adegast: Your hubris has failed you, Witch Apprentice.
Adegast lifts the wizard puppet to reveal an ocotopus-like demon. He reveals that everyone else she met on this quest is a puppet too.
“I don’t know if I should feel terrified or amazed,” Dipper said, drawing the creature.
“How did he make those puppets?” Isabella wondered.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” King responded.
“Aw man!” Mabel groaned. “Nevareth and his perfect muscles were fake?!”
“Sorry,” Luz frowned at the girl.
The gifts turn into chains.
Perry slapped his forehead in realization. They were a trap!
“What a brilliant trap!” Heinz praised. The others sent him glares. “What? It is.”
Luz: Why are you doing this?
Adegast: Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years. She must be destroyed.
Luz: Does everybody have a beef with Eda here?
There were a few chuckles.
Luz: No. Joke's on you, 'cause Eda isn't stupid enough to fall for your trap.
Eda: Adegast!
Luz: Oh, heck!
They couldn’t help it. They all laughed. Even the ones from this very show.
He captures Eda and King with cat puppets.
Eda: That's right. You have me. Now release Luz.
King: I didn't have to be a part of this!
Polly laughed at what King said. She had and totally would do the same thing.
He says Luz can leave if she wants to, but senses she wants a real fantasy. The Chris puppet breathes a cloud of fog at Luz. When she opens her eyes, she's free of her restraints, kneeling in a dark void. Adegast's puppets walk up to her from the dark. They argue that she should stay and become their chosen one.
Nevareth: Luz, why would you want to live in a world where people laugh at you?
Many in the audience frowned in sympathy. Candace and the Twins especially.
Luz: It is beautiful here.
“No,” Dipper said.
Luz: And you guys think I'm special.
“Don’t,” Mabel begged.
Luz: But it's not real. (Grunts and waves the fog away, running forward to pick up her sword.) I am a Witch's Apprentice. And I'm gonna earn my magic staff the hard way.
“Yeah!” the audience clapped and cheered for Luz.
“You go girl!” Wendy grinned.
The twins sighed in relief. They did not want to see someone go through their own Mabel-Land.
Luz stabs the wizard puppet through the stomach, making it disappear with a poof. Adegast screams. Eda and King free themselves. They realize they can harm him by hurting the puppets.
“They’re organic!” Dipper, Isabella, Baljeet and Polly realized.
“Of course! They’re actually a part of his body,” the tadpole said.
“His nervous system is connected, thus allowing him full control of their movements,” Baljeet reasoned.
“Which means he can feel their pain,” Isabella grinned.
Luz takes out the fairy princess. Eda disintegrates three cats. Luz stabs Nevareth in his flawless pecks.
“Goodbye, you beautiful hunk,” Mabel bowed her head.
In the Owl House Room…
“YES! DIE, YOU STEALER!” Amity screamed in joy.
Adegast: Back off! (Holding up King.) Or the dog gets it.
Eda and Luz drop their weapons.
“Oh, this guy is definitely evil,” Heinz nodded. “Threatening the cute pet. That’s low.”
“I’m not cute!”
Luz apologizes to King, saying that she should have listened to him. Then she kicks her sword, sending it flying point first into Adegast's head. He screams and drops King, who is caught by Luz. The scream changes pitch as Adegast shrinks to less than an eighth of his previous size.
“Nice one!” Anne offered Luz a high five that she accepted.
“Who knew toys could be so dangerous?” Sprig said.
“I did,” Stan answered. “You don’t wanna know about the ones from the 80’s.”
“Ha! Not so tough now. Are you?” Candace laughed. “So, now that you’ve busted this guy, what was his punishment?”
Eda: (Picks him up.) Well, that's the last time I take an outside referral. (Eats him.) Mmm. Oh, did you want some of that?
Dead silence filled the theater. Until finally…
“Did you just…?” Phineas trailed off, shocked to his core.
“You ate him?!” Wendy exclaimed.
“Hey, puppeteers are dangerous,” the Owl Lady stressed. “If I didn’t eat him then he would have eaten someone else. It’s even encouraged to do so when you come across one.”
“But… but justice,” Candace frowned.
“Look, kid. Sometimes you gotta be ruthless in order to survive. Otherwise there won’t be anyone left to save,” Eda sighed. Candace bowed her head, silently mulling that over.
“That makes perfect sense to us,” Hop Pop stated. “Our world is violent and brutal, so we can relate.”
“If you ask me, it’s his own fault,” Stan shrugged. “He tried to kill you, and you defended yourself. Can’t fault you for that. What did he taste like, by the way?”
“I believe you humans call it calamari.”
Luz: This place is nothing like I imagined.
Eda: Hmm. Maybe not here. But come with me. I got something to show you.
The audience leaned in closely, curious as to what they were about to see.
Cut to the three of them on Eda's staff, hovering in the sky. Luz is wearing a blindfold. Eda says she can look, and Luz stares in awe as she sees the whole of the Boiling Isles: the decomposing body of the Titan.
Everyone gasped at the sight.
“Behold. The Titan,” Eda grinned. “The Boiling Isles are formed from its decomposing corpse.”
“It’s huge,” Mabel said.
“This is amazing,” her brother said.
“You mentioned the Titan a few times earlier. Is it your god?”
“Pretty much,” she shrugged. “All life and magic evolved from its body, so we are eternally grateful for that gift.”
“Incredible,” Phineas breathed. “Absolutely incredible.”
King’s face fell at the sight.
“Hi, Dad,” he whispered, trying to hold back his tears. Seeing this, Luz quickly enveloped her brother in a hug that he eagerly reciprocated.
Eda admits that the Bones of the Isles can be gross.
Eda: But if you look at it from a different perspective…
Luz: It's beautiful.
King agrees.
“This is the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my entire life,” Dipper beamed as he wrote it all down.
Luz: Eda, how did you know that wizard was lying?
Eda: Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself.
“That’s just about the best thing I’ve heard from ya all day,” Hopediah praised.
“Thanks,” Eda nodded before the subtle implication set in. “Hey! Wait a minute!”
Choose yourself, Anne thought. She and the girls had been roped into a real prophecy of their own, unlike Luz. But in the end it came down to a choice. Either leave Amphibia to burn or stay to protect it. They chose to stay. They chose themselves.
Eda tells her that she’ll give Luz her own staff someday. She leans against Eda as they watch the sun continue to set.
“Well, that’s a pretty hopeful ending,” Mabel said, getting nods of agreement. “So Luz, you chose reality over fantasy, huh?”
“Yep,” she nodded. “A fantasy like that may be appealing and all, but the key thing about reality is that the good things are real. And if it’s not, then what’s the point?”
“Truly wise words,” the host praised. “Time for the next one.”
♪ “L’p judwhixo brx’uh pb idwkhu/gdxjkwhu pruh wkdq dqbwklqj! Pruh wkdq dqbwklqj.” ♪
“Zddddddddddddk!” Khlqc zdlohg. “Lw’v vr ehdxwlixo!”
“Douljkw, exggb. Eulqj lw lq,” Hdqnl vplohg dqg rshqhg klv dupv zlgh. Grrihqvkpluwc dffhswhg wkh hpeudfh dqg fulhg lqwr wkh Wlwdq’v vkrxoghu. “Wkhuh, wkhuh. Ohw lw doo rxw. Rqh gdg wr dqrwkhu.”
“Lw’v mxvw olnh ph dqg pb Ydqhvvd!”
“L nqrz. L pbvhoi fdq’w zdlw wr pdnh qhz phprulhv zlwk pb Nlqj rqfh L fdq uhyhdo pbvhoi,” Hdqnl vplohg.
Oxflihu djuhhv wr vfkhgxoh wkh phhwlqj dqg ohdyhv zlvklqj klv gdxjkwhu oxfn.
Ydjjlh: Wklv qhaw sduw lv jrlqj wr eh vfdub. Brx uhdgb?
Fkduolh: L’p uhdgb, (Kxjv Ydjjlh) ‘fdxvh brx’oo eh zlwk ph.
Ydjjlh: (Xqfrpiruwdeob) Lq vslulw, uljkw?
Fkduolh: Lq Khdyhq.
Ydjjlh: Bdb!
“Zdlw, L grq’w jhw lw, zkb lv vkh vr qhuyrxv?” Surihvvru wlph dvnhg, ilqdoob fdoplqj grzq. “Grhv wklv kdyh pruh wr gr zlwk wkh dqjhov ehlqj ghudqjhg wklqj?”
“Brx qr, brx zrxogq’w eh brx li brxu uhdfwlrq zdv dqb gliihuhqw,” wkh Jxdugldq vljkhg.
“Zkdw? Zkdw grq’w L nqrz?”
“Ohw’v wdnh d euhdn iru qrz. Zh’yh ehhq zdwfklqj wkhvh qrq-vwrs iru d zkloh qrz,” Wkh Darorwo vxjjhvwhg.
“Wkdw’v d jrrg lghd,” Hdqnl qrgghg. “Krz pdqb pruh duh wkhuh?”
“Wkuhh.”
“Jrrg. Rqfh wkdw’v grqh, zh fdq jhw lqwr zkb L’p grlqj doo wklv.”
“Fdq brx whoo xv dqbwklqj qrz dv wr zkb?” wkh fdw dvnhg.
Wkh Wlwdq wxuqhg wr idfh wkh vfuhhq vkrzlqj wkh wkhdwhu. Kh vwrrg wkhuh vlohqwob zdwfklqj wkhp iru d ihz prphqwv.
“Zkdw zh kdyh grqh zlwk wklv, vxpprqlqj wkhp doo khuh wr ylhz wkh sdvw. Wr erqg ryhu lw. Ohduq iurp lw. Wklv lv d prphqw ri uhsulhyh iru doo ri wkhp wr ghdo zlwk wkh sureohpv wkhb’yh idfhg. Rqh wkdw wkhb ghvhuyh dqg ghvshudwhob qhhg iru zkdw lv wr frph.”
“Wklv wkuhdw brx vshdn ri, Hdqnl. Krz vhulrxv lv lw?” wkh Darorwo dvnhg.
“…Hqmrb wklv prphqw zkloh brx fdq, pb iulhqgv. Wkhuh pdb qrw eh dqrwkhu iru d orqj wlph.”
Notes:
So? What did you think? Please let me know in the comments. Also, this chapter and the next one will be the only opportunities left to recommend what things could happen during the Day 1 Break that I haven't already thought of.
Now, on a different note, I'd really appreciate it if you would all check out my YouTube channel that I put the link to in the end notes every time. It's a nice hobby that I'd love to do in the real film industry one day, so if you could watch my videos and even subscribe, that'd be really appreciated.
I'd also appreciate it if you could check out my original work: Forces of Infinity. It's what started it all for me, and I consider it my crowning jewel. If you like the MCU and Clone Wars, and if you'd like to read a crossover of them both, then this is the fic for you.
So, back to things pertaining to this story, the Book of Bill comes out in less than 2 weeks, and I'm really looking forward to it. Especially if it can be helpful. ;)
And here's the regular farewell. It also has the link I'm talking about. You just gotta copy and paste it.
Check out my other works if you haven't already, and my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@LegionEditing Please subscribe to it if you like my videos.
Please leave Kudos, comment, and subscribe.
Until next time. This is the Way.
Progress Tracker:
Summaries: 2/2
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Outro: 1/1
Code: 0/1PS: Do you want Bump to join the audience in the next chapter, yes or no? Or should I go with my original plan of introducing him in Something Ventured, Someone Framed? Your choice, people.
Chapter 8: Weirdos Have to Stick Together: Part 2
Notes:
The Book of Bill is ####ing awesome! It will definitely play as big of a role as it can in this story. I'd love to talk about it with you all in the comments.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
I Was A Teenage Abomination
Eda, Luz and King stand on a beach.
“Ooh! A beach episode?” Mabel asked.
“Not exactly,” Luz said.
Eda: Well, Luz! Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?
She gestures to the corpse of a giant trash slug.
Luz: (Shaking her head.) I don't like this.
“Ew! Just ew!” Isabella complained.
Most of the audience hastily nodded in agreement, trying not to throw up the breakfast they had eaten earlier.
Eda wants to cut it open with a pickaxe and sell the junk it ate.
“Hmm, I wonder how much money I could make on that,” Stan pondered.
Luz: Please don’t make me.
King: Aw, come on, Luz. (Unfurls a towel.) It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass.
The audience laughed at King’s clear sass and disinterest.
Luz wants to work on her apprenticeship, but Eda waves off the things she lists as magic school stuff. Luz asks if there is a magic school.
Eda: Mm-hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way. But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable. And that's why it's so beautiful.
“Wow. That sounds amazing,” Isabella said.
“It really is,” Eda sighed happily.
“Does that have to do with why you’re a criminal?” Dipper asked.
“Yep. That’s what the guard meant by ‘magical misdemeanors’,” the Witch grumbled.
Eda: I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I am right now?
She’s standing in trash with flies all around.
“Do not answer that,” Eda warned the audience, who were now looking away in silence. Though that didn’t stop a few of them from shaking in silent laughter.
After digging around for a bit, Luz finds a greasy slime ball. Eda tells her to use it wisely.
“Is that gonna come back later?” Polly questioned.
“Spoilers,” Luz said.
Luz: Actually, if it's okay, I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still... alive.
“Nothing wrong with animals that are alive,” Ferb agreed, petting Perry who had moved to curl up in his lap.
Luz: Love you, King. (Pets his belly, causing him to giggle.) You little beach peach.
The kids and teens cooed at that.
Eda continues to dig through, tossing items all around. A tuba lands on King’s head.
The audience laughed at King’s plight.
“No! Stop it! It’s not funny!” King cried.
“Dude, it’s like objectively funny,” Soos said.
The Intro plays.
Luz is walking through the woods.
Luz: Ugh! If magic's all about digging for slime balls, maybe I don't have the stomach for it.
Willow: (Offscreen.) You can do it! You can!
The others tilted their heads while Luz squealed in excitement. Finally, her friends were about to join the audience.
Luz looks behind some bushes to see Willow trying to encourage herself for her next assignment.
“She goes to a magic school? And in the summer?” Baljeet asked with a wide smile.
“Wait, witches have school in the summer?” Mabel questioned, flabbergasted.
“The Boiling Isles don’t have seasons like the Human Realm does, so school is mostly year round,” Eda explained.
“Is she okay?” Sprig asked.
“It’s complicated. Just keep watching,” Luz responded.
She accidentally steps on a flower and uses her magic to heal it perfectly.
The ones who were new to Witch magic gasped in astonishment.
“Woah. That’s incredible,” Dipper breathed out.
Amity arrives on her wagon.
Amity: Willow! Wow. You're so unnoticeable I almost rolled into ya.
The audience frowned and a few narrowed their eyes at the green haired girl.
“Oh, great. A bully,” Anne rolled her eyes.
“Aren’t there enough of them in the world,” Wendy complained.
The twins just played with their hands awkwardly. They weren’t sure what to make of this. After everything they’d learned about Pacifica, it wasn't so easy to judge this witch.
“Oof! Sorry, Luz,” Eda whispered. “I know this must be…”
Luz… was sighing dreamily with her head resting on her hand.
“That was the first time I ever saw her,” Noceda said in a daze. Eda could only shake her head and laugh in response.
Back in the Owl House, Amity was hugging Willow with her head buried in her shoulder in shame.
“I’m sorry,” Blight apologized.
“Shoosh, shoosh. It’s okay. You already apologized for this, Amity,” Willow smiled.
“Am I better than I was before?”
“So much better.”
Then her tomodachi beeped and Amity read the new message from Luz.
The first time I saw you.
Amity blushed yet had a soft smile on her face.
Willow’s barrel falls over, spilling out a liquid abomination.
Amity: Willow, you don’t have anything to show.
Luz: Witch drama!
“This is hard to watch,” Gretchen winced.
“You’re so immersed,” Anne pointed out to Luz.
Amity: This is why people call you "Half-a-Witch Willow."
“Oh, that’s just cruel!” Heinz barked.
Luz winced. There was no defending her girlfriend here, but a large part of her wanted to try anyway.
Amity summons her admittedly better abomination and it marks a star on Willow’s forehead. She shows off her “Top Student” badge and leaves with more condescension.
“So what? She thinks that because she’s the best that she has the right to walk all over people?” Candace questioned with a glare.
“It’s… it’s complicated,” Luz winced.
The Pines twins shared a look.
“All that aside, those abominations are pretty cool,” Phineas beamed. The others nodded in agreement, thankful for the brief distraction.
Willow: I hate making abominations. I hate getting bad grades. Ugh! I can't stand this anymore.
Her eyes start glowing green. She accidentally summons power thorny vines that swarm the area and drag a screaming Luz towards her.
There was silence for a moment. And then…
“Holy mackerel!” Stan exclaimed. “Remind me to never get on her bad side.”
“Her skills with plants are amazing!” Hop Pop.
“Yeah, that’s Willow for you,” Luz smirked.
“Would she be interested in workin’ on my farm?” the grandfather asked hopefully, causing Luz to laugh.
“Why don’t you ask me yourself?” Everyone turned to see Willow walk out the Owl House door. “Hi, everyone! I’m Willow.”
“Nice to meet you,” Wendy greeted with a finger gun.
Eda is happy about her haul. King teases that she lost Luz for garbage. Eda denies it.
King: If you don't teach Luz right, you will. And that's when I come in, make her my apprentice.
“Oh, really?” Stan chuckled.
“And what would His Majesty teach the young aspiring Witch?” Stacy asked with a smirk.
King says he’d teach her about demons, and she teases that he got stuck in a sweater arm once.
There were a few chuckles at King’s expense, but the others tilted their heads in curiosity.
“Really? How much do you know about Demons?” Dipper asked.
“Lots!” King proclaimed.
“I know a lot too! Hoot!” Hooty said, getting in Dipper’s face, causing him to scream.
“Hooty, leave that boy alone!” Eda ordered, pulling the worm away from him.
They decide to make a bet. King has never one a bet against her. Ever.
King: I like those odds.
There were some laughs.
Eda: So how's this? (Grabs an egg.) Teach this trash slug to be your loyal soldier in one day. Prove that you can be a better teacher than me, and Luz is all yours. But if you don't, I will change your name from King to... Mr. Wiggles.
King says that she’ll have to wear a shame hat and sleep in a shack.
“When can we start calling him Mr. Wiggles?” Wendy teased, causing the others to laugh and King to grumble.
“Did you two seriously make a bet over me?” Luz asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Uh…” Eda blanched.
“Yes,” King answered.
Luz then pulled them both in a hug.
“I love you guys too.”
“Ha ha ha! Yes! Beat her!” Stan cheered.
Willow snaps out of her blind rage and apologizes to Luz.
Luz: It's okay. The thorns only went through a few layers of skin.
The audience winced at the mention of that.
Willow realizes Luz is human and gets excited. Before they can talk more, the bells or Hexside ring.
Willow: Uh, I'm sorry. I can't stay. I have to go disappoint my teacher.
Many frowned in sympathy for the past Willow.
“You’re gonna help her, aren’t you?” Mabel stated more so than asked.
Luz stops her and praises the plant magic.
Willow: Thanks, but... I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic. My parents put me in the abomination track at school.
“Track?” Dipper asked.
“Tracks are classes for different types of magic,” Luz explained. “There’s the-” Luz was cut off by the silencing spell. “Huh, guess we’ll have to wait a little bit.”
“Yes, I hoping to give another friend of yours some time to shine,” the host explained.
Luz wishes she could go to magic school. Willow wishes she could get a passing grade.
Anne tilted her head at the screen before looking at the Noceda.
“Are you about to do what I think you’ll do?”
“I’m about to do what you think I’ll do,” Luz nodded.
Luz suggests that she pretends to be her abomination so they can both get what they want. Willow agrees after some hesitation and they shake hands. They get stuck together from the abomination goo.
Luz: Great plan.
“I’m sensing a lot of holes in this plan,” Susan admitted, causing Willow and Luz to wince.
“Yeah… you’ll just have to watch,” Willow said.
“Let’s hope it went better than Grubhog Day,” Sprig whispered to Anne.
They arrive at Hexside. Willow stops at a locker, tickling it to make it open its mouth and give her her books.
The audience’s eyes widened at the sight.
“Your lockers are alive?” Wendy asked.
“Yours aren’t?” King responded.
Gus bumps into her, showing a human magazine.
The door to the Owl House opens once again out comes the illusionist himself.
“Hi, guys! Nice to meet…” he trailed off with his eyes widening and put a hand to his throat. “My voice! It’s so high again!”
“Yes, have to keep a few things as surprises in the theater,” the host explained, leading Gus to slump and blop down in his seat.
“Poor kid,” Stan looked at the boy with pity. “Do not miss that.”
Gus: Did you know that humans nail barbed wire to their kids' teeth? But why? Maybe to make them magnetic.
“It’s actually to straighten our teeth,” Mabel said, showing her braces to him.
“Fascinating,” Gus rescinded, leaning in to examine them.
“They really hurt though,” Mabel frowned.
Willow introduces Luz to Gus, much to his amazement.
Willow: He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society. Most witches wouldn't be able to recognize a human right away. But Augustus is an expert.
Gus: Where are your gills?
The humans all laughed.
“Nope. Sorry, dude. We don’t have gills,” Soos said.
“I know that now,” Gus nodded.
Luz decides to call him Gus. It is the best day of his life. A bell screams and they leave for their classes.
“The bells are alive too?” Baljeet raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, how many things are alive in your world?” Anne decided to ask.
“A lot,” Eda answered with a shrug.
King is giving the baby trash slug a dog treat.
King: Who’s a good Prince, Jr.?
Eda: Hey, Mr. Wiggles. You're not gonna teach it anything doing that.
“She’s already calling him Mr. Wiggles,” Heinz cackled with the teens and kids.
King: It's called positive reinforcement, Eda. And it works wonders.
Prince Jr. eats the treat King was dangling in front of it and doubles in size.
People blinked at the sight of that.
“That’s concerning,” Jeremy said.
“And so cool!” Dipper beamed. “Look at that rapid growth. Imagine what we could learn from that.”
King: Well, I haven't seen your student in forever. For all we know, she's not even loyal to you anymore.
Eda: Ha-ha-ha, you wish. But yeah. Where is she?
“Uh oh. You’re gonna lose the bet aren’t you?” Isabella asked. Eda said nothing, causing Stan to laugh.
In Abomination 101, Professor Hermonculus is giving students bad grades.
Professor Hermonculus: The biggest abominations are all of you! If the next abomination is a failure, everyone gets extra homework for a month!
“That’s not how you teach a class!” Heinz exclaimed incredulously. “This guy’s just being a jerk.”
“Yeah, Hermonculus can be pretty brutal,” Gus agreed.
“Wait, how do you know that? Are you a teacher or something?” Anne asked the scientist. He opened his mouth to respond but halted before looking toward the ceiling.
“Would that be a spoiler?”
“Eh, I’ll allow it.”
“Yes. I became a highschool science teacher. Ooh! Speaking of which, you three will each be in my class next week,” he told Candace, Stacy and Jeremy.
“We are?” the redhead responded.
“Yep! We start with Chemistry.”
“I’m not sure how to feel about that,” Jeremy admitted.
Amity volunteers to show her abomination. He decides to single out Willow, much to everyone’s frustration.
“I don’t miss school,” Stan glared at the screen.
Luz comforts her and Willow smiles.
Willow: Uh… Abomination, rise!
Luz: (Punches the lid off and jumps out.) Ta-da! (She impresses the class and Hermonculus asks if she can speak.) Uh, I may be your abomination, but you're my a-mom-ination.
There were a few snickers from the group, and to their surprise, they could even hear some from the other rooms.
He awards Willow an A+ and the Top Student badge. Amity does not take this well and has her eye on her.
“That’s gonna be a problem,” Sprig noticed, with others agreeing.
“The guy actually bought it?” Stan questioned incredulously.
“Wow. He is a terrible educator,” Baljeet frowned.
Eda asks Hooty is he’s seen Luz.
Hooty: I heard her tiny mouse feet walking close by. Or that might've been some mice. Anyway, someone started moving in that direction. (Slightly gesturing with his head.) Hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo.
“Is he trying to point?” Stacy asked.
“Yep! Hoot!” the owl tube said, startling the teen.
Eda: But the only thing that way is the... (Gasps.) No. (Runs off.) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
“You are in for a rude awakening, Clawthorne,” Stan laughed, excited to see Eda lose a bet.
She reaches Hexside and looks into various windows. The first is a kindergarten classroom.
Eda: No. Blind obedience.
There were a few snickers.
The next classroom has several older students writing at desks.
Eda: No! Pointless busywork!
Those snickers turned into chuckles.
Luz, still covered in abomination goo, is in the last classroom, writing along with the rest of the class.
Eda: No! Why! School!
The audience was finally laughing now. The loudest among them was Stan.
“Ah, justice is sweet,” he sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. “Congratulations on winning the bet, little guy,” Stan gave King a thumbs up. The little Titan decided to remain silent.
Cut to the cafeteria, where Luz, back in the pot, is sitting at the end of a table with Willow and Gus.
Gus: Hey. Do humans eat PB&J's?
Luz: Oh my gosh, I haven't eaten real food in so long, please give me some.
“Then what have you been eating?” Heinz asked with concern laced in his tone.
“There’s not a lot of stuff humans can digest on the Boiling Isles, so I’ve mainly been eating griffin eggs,” Luz explained. “They’re pretty good, but I missed other food.”
Willow: I don't know, Gus. If Amity saw that…
She saw it.
“Uh oh,” Baljeet winced. “She looks very aggravated.”
“We all pretty much saw this coming,” Dipper sighed.
“How badly is this gonna end?” Polly wondered.
Amity: Abominations don't eat! I know you're in there! You can't hide from me. What are you? Who are you? I want answers!
She grabs Luz by her shirtfront and shakes her violently.
“Wow. She is very angry,” Wendy noted.
“Too be fair, we did cheat, and she worked hard,” Willow admitted. “Right Luz? Luz?”
Luz once again was staring at the past Amity with nothing but pure affection.
“That was the first time she held me in her arms,” the afro-latina said quietly before sending those words to her girlfriend.
“I think she’s broken,” King whispered to Eda.
“Nah, it’s worse than that,” the Owl Lady shook her head.
Back in the Owl House, Amity was displaying her trademark tomato face as she read Luz’s message.
“Look at that,” Emira said, looking over her shoulder. “Your girlfriend isn’t bothered by your past self. Maybe that means you shouldn’t be either.” The elder sister then put her hand on Amity’s shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. Amity couldn’t help but smile back.
Hermonculus sends Amity to the Principle’s office. Luz shares a concerned look with Willow.
“That went better than expected,” Sprig stated hopefully.
“It’s not gonna last,” Candace said.
King keeps giving Prince Jr. treats. He now towers over King.
“Should we be concerned by how big it’s getting?” Isabella asked. King’s response was cut off by Stan.
“Nah, this guy beat the Witch fair and square,” Pines grinned. The twins shared a look and grinned.
“How much are you willing to bet on that?” Dipper questioned.
“Ooh, somebody thinks they can beat me twice eh?” Dipper and Mabel nodded. “Alright, you little gremlins can have my fez and eyepatch if you’re right,” Stan said and shook their hands.
King: So, did you find your runaway student? By your expression, I can tell Luz has gone and found herself someplace else to learn. Which means I have won!
Eda: Yes, great, you won. You have a giant soldier thing and I have nothing. Congrats!
Luz frowned and hugged her surrogate mother.
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” Noceda apologized.
“Hey, it’s okay, Kido,” Eda said, petting her head softly.
King: Oh, Eda. Don't say that. At least you have this!
He pulls out a shame hat and laughs.
The audience was in hysterics. They couldn’t help it. It was just too funny.
“Oh, that was perfect,” Sprig said, whipping away a tear.
The Gravity Falls citizens paled.
That laugh…
Dipper then turned to a blank page in his journal and wrote the words: Is He Bill?
Eda snatches the hat, wears it and goes into the shack. King tells Prince Jr. to go forth and make the world tremble. He doesn’t move, so King offers more treats. Unfortunately, the box is empty. Prince Jr. moves closer, growling.
That was enough to shake the Fallsers out of their fear. Stan’s fear was now replaced with a new one.
“No. No. I’m not losing again today!” This caused everyone, especially the twins, to laugh at his plight.
In an empty classroom, Luz introduces Willow and Gus to high-fives.
Gus: Oh. Oh, my. Oh, man, what a rush!
There were a few chuckles at Gus’ excitement.
“He’s not wrong,” Jeremy smiled.
A smirking Amity walks in with Principal Bump. He’s come to inspect Luz.
“Well, you guys had a good run,” Polly said bluntly.
“Yeah, there’s no getting out of this one,” Dipper agreed.
“Is that part of his face or is something else going on there?” Soos asked.
“Weirdly enough, that’s a spoiler,” Gus answered.
Bump: Abomination, lie.
Luz: Uh, viral fame is a worthy pursuit. Your cat would never eat you if it got the chance. Chemtrails are real—
Bump: Oh, no, abomination. How strange for it to get the command wrong. I mean lie down.
“Oh, he wasn’t fooled at all,” Stan observed.
“Yeah, I don’t see a way where you guys aren’t busted for this,” Candace shook her head.
Bump wants to see what she’s made of.
Willow: Oh, I have her list of ingredients right here.
Bump: No. We were hoping... (Pulls a dagger out of his sleeve.) for a closer look. Willow, I'll allow you the first cut.
“What?!” everyone who didn’t already know about this shrieked in fear.
“They were going to dissect you?!” Wendy yelled.
“Um…” Luz began.
“And why was his tone so casual?! He didn’t seem fooled two seconds ago!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Did he seriously expect you to…” Candace’s words died in her mouth as a realization hit her. “Oh. Oh, it’s a bluff, isn’t it?”
Willow: (Quietly.) Uh, you can't just cut open a human, can you?
Luz shakes her head.
“Yeah,” Willow nodded. “Bump didn’t really expect me to go through with it.”
“Just how little do you guys know about humans?” Stacy asked.
The silence was telling.
Gus knocks over three abomination pots. The goo spills together, and the formed abominations stand. He tells them to run and they do.
Whatever worries were left subsided at the escape.
Amity: They're getting away!
Bump: No, the intruder won't get far.
He approaches a wall and traces a large spell circle, then slams the wall in the center of it. Red light forms patterns on the walls and floor, spreading from the spell circle.
Perry looked at the security system in intrigue. Something like that would be useful at OWCA.
Luz: This is all my fault, Willow. I just wanted to see what a real magic school was like.
Willow: Well, how do you like it?
Luz: It's lovely, actually.
The two giggle.
“Sure, I could have gotten dissected, but going to a magic school was so much fun,” Luz beamed.
“A year round magic school does sound incredible,” Baljeet sighed.
The others sent him weird looks because they knew it was the first part that made him happy.
The red light patterns converge on the walls. When they reach a doorway, a red shield blocks it off. Several more doorways are blocked off, the patterns taking over the school. Bump has sealed them inside.
“Well, this isn’t good,” Heinz said.
Eda is sulking in the shack.
The caretakers gave the Clawthorne sympathetic looks.
“I’m guessing you understood what I was going through at the Lake episode,” Pines said.
“Yep,” Eda nodded.
King runs in, begging for help. She teases him and Prince Jr. comes in and grabs King.
King: Please help me! You can call me Mr. Wiggles!
The audience laughed at the scene. All except for one…
“No. No! Nooooo!” Stan cried. This made the others laugh even harder. The twins each stretched out a hand to him.
“Fez,” Mabel smiled.
“Patch,” Dipper smirked.
Stan rolled his eyes and put the items on their respective heads. Then he gave them a proud smile. This one was more tired than the others, but he was proud nonetheless.
“Wait, so is King’s name now… Mr. Wiggles,” Phineas struggled not to laugh.
Polly had no such quals and guffawed at her fellow little guy.
“Hi, Mr. Wiggles. I’m Polly Plantar,” she joked with an outstretched hand and fell to the floor laughing.
“No! I’m not! I’m King-” he was cut off by the silencing spell.
“No, that’s not his name. Only I can call him Mr. Wiggles,” Eda said before leaning over to Polly. “But I like you, so I’ll make an exception.”
“Ah, heck yeah!” Polly fist pumped.
“No!” King cried in despair.
Eda rescues King and Prince Jr. retreats. She starts to tell him the plan. Meanwhile, Luz and Willow are hiding from Bump and his abominations.
Willow: Oh, this is awful. I don't know what to do. Amity's right. I'm just Half-a-Witch Willow.
Luz: You're Full-Witch Willow. And you're great.
“Yeah, don’t listen to what others say about you. You’re great just the way you are,” Mabel encouraged.
“Those people that call you that don’t know what they’re talking about,” Phineas added.
“Yeah, to heck with them!” Anne agreed.
Willow smiled at their words. She wasn’t the only one happy with their support. Back in the Owl House, Hunter smiled knowing that Willow was surrounded by people that saw her the way he did.
Luz: And someone once told me great witches are resourceful.
She empties her pockets and Willow realizes that the greasy slime ball is actually a seed.
Luz: Yeah. Thank goodness someone told me to hold on to it.
“Huh. So you weren’t just being weird,” Wendy said.
“I knew that would come back later,” Polly smiled.
“Just you wait,” Luz giggled with Willow.
Willow casts a spell and several strong vines grow and attack their chasers, spreading across the whole atrium.
Principle Bump: Remarkable.
The audience was in awe with Willow’s feat of plant magic. But none could compare to the look on Hop Pop’s face. The old frog gasped loudly before turning to the young Witch.
“Willow, how’d you like to be adopted?” he asked, causing the others to laugh.
“Kind offer, Mr. Plantar, but I think I’m good,” she smiled.
“Well, how about a job? I wouldn’t be able to pay you much at first, but it can be more once the crops start selling.”
“I’ll think about it,” she shrugged.
Back in the Owl House, Camila caught the attention of the others with a laugh.
“What is it?” Lilith asked her.
“Let’s just say that finances have not been an issue since those kids came to my door.”
The exit is now available. They run for it but are cut off by Amity.
Amity: I'm not letting you get away so easily. I want my badge! Abominations, seize!
“Girl, just let it go!” Anne groaned loudly.
“To be fair, we did steal it from her,” Willow shrugged.
She sends abominations after them, but Willow intercepts them, telling Luz to run.
Luz: No! I'm not leaving you.
Willow: I may get detention, but you'll get dissected. (The abominations reform) So go.
“Smartest thing you can do in that situation,” Stan nodded.
She pushes her out with the vines and shuts the doors.
Luz: Willow! I can't save you right now. But I know someone who can!
“Oh, that’ll work,” Wendy said.
“Agreed,” Mabel smiled brightly. My Grauntie can do anything!
Eda battles Prince Jr., cornering him at the front door. Meanwhile, King is pushing a barrel on the roof.
Eda: Pour the salt, now!
“That’s right! The other slug was taken out by a wave,” Dipper remembered.
“Just be sure not to miss,” Ferb stated.
King: Baby boy!
Prince Jr. looks up at King, whimpering. Then it roars.
King: I have no son!
Everyone couldn’t help but laugh at the complete 180 that they just witnessed.
“Well, that’s pretty dark,” Doofenshmirtz mentioned.
He shoves the entire barrel full of salt into Prince Jr.'s mouth. It shivers and makes noises of protest, before shrinking back to its original size. It whimpers as it runs off.
King: (Dances.) Yes, I did it! I'm amazing! Ahh!
He’s caught by Eda.
There were some chuckles at King’s expense.
King: (Chuckles.) You helped too. You are a good teacher.
Eda: I wish Luz thought that too.
“You know I do, right?” Luz asked.
“Of course, Kido,” she smiled.
Luz runs in and hugs them.
Eda: Hey, hey, hey, hey! What is this? Ugh! I never understand when you do this.
“Is not knowing what a hug is a Witch thing or a you thing?” Soos asked.
“It’s complicated,” Eda said.
Luz explains what happened and how they need to see her friends. Her friends arrive, completely fine.
Willow: Principal Bump was so impressed by my plant work he's switching me to the plant magic track! Look!
Her sleeves and leggings turn green.
“Wow,” Stacy awed.
“Ooh, that transition was so sparkly,” Mabel praised.
“What are all the tracks?” Dipper asked.
“I can answer that,” Gus began. “There are a grand total of nine tracks, one for each magic. I personally am in the illusion track. You already know about the plant and abomination tracks. The others are construction, potions, oracle, healing, beast keeping, and the bard track.”
“The bard track?”
“Bard magic is the one of sound, mainly done through music,” Eda explained. Though she was answering Dipper’s question, she was pointedly looking at the Danville group.
“Ugh, musicians,” Stan complained.
“Wait, wait, wait, time out,” Phineas shook his head and arms. “You think our music numbers are bard magic?”
“I do,” she nodded. “It’s not normal, kid. Not to mention that the music was sometimes coming out of thin air. Just look at your pet’s music.” The group silently thought it over for a moment before Eda continued. “I have a theory on why, but I’ll tell you in the next episode.”
“…Well, I didn’t expect all that when I woke up this morning,” Anne said simply.
Luz: Whoo! Oh. What about Amity?
Gus: Last we saw, she was asking Bump if today could count as extra credit.
“It is always good to seek out extra credit,” Baljeet nodded.
Luz can’t wait to sneak in again.
Gus: Uh, about that. You're kinda, sorta... banned.
He unfurls a banned poster of Luz.
Eda: That's my girl!
The audience, now quite familiar with Eda’s nature, laughed at that.
“Oof! Sorry, Luz. That must have been rough,” Mabel winced.
“It’s okay,” Luz responded with a smile.
Willow: But we could come here and teach you what we learned.
Luz: Aw. That would be nice. But... I have a pretty great teacher already.
Eda’s eyes widen and she smiles.
“You’re the best teacher I could ever have,” Luz smiled at the woman who had become more than that. Eda responded by pulling her into a tight hug. The others awed at the sight.
Eda: Ah, baby's first wanted poster. Good job, kid. (Pats the top of Luz's head.) Looks like I taught you something after all.
“I can relate to that,” Stan said. “I have these kids’ mugshots from when we got arrested for counterfeiting.” Then he ruffled their heads. “Wish I had a wanted poster though.”
“I don’t,” Dipper mentioned flatly.
Gus: Uh, you high five with your hands, not your head.
“You really got excited about high fives, huh,” Dipper chuckled.
“Yeah. Plus it was a moment shared with a new friend.” Gus’ face then fell. “I didn’t have any of those until Willow came along.”
“Really?” the young Pines frowned.
“I’m smarter than other kids my age. That led me to skip two grades. I didn’t really fit in because of it.”
“Sorry to hear–wait! You skipped two grades?”
“Yeah. Pretty proud of that,” Gus said, his smile returning to him.
“That’s really cool, man!” Dipper praised.
“I can tell that you two are gonna be great friends,” Mabel chirped.
“So, Luz? All in all, that was a good day, right? I saw you smiling a lot earlier,” Anne said.
“Uh, yes! It was the day I met my best friends!” she stammered, pulling Willow and Gus into side hugs. “Nothing else of note!”
Anne just shrugged in response. But if she paid attention, she would have seen the fierce blush on Luz’s cheeks.
Mabel however, did.
“Huh?” the young Pines girl tilted her head at the sight. There was something familiar about this.
“Alright, everyone. This is the final episode we will be watching today. So, how about we finish this up?” the host asked cheerfully. The audience nodded and the next episode began to play.
The Intruder
Luz: (Recording a video of King in a British accent) And here we have the most fearsome creature in the world, the King of Demons. Facing his natural enemy, the ducky sock!
King: (Tearing the ducky sock up) Where are you now, ducky sock?
Everyone laughed at King once again acting like a dog.
“That sock was a menace,” King growled.
“Not a bad British accent, Luz,” Ferb praised.
King: Human Luz, you've been so obsessed with witchcraft that you haven't learned anything about my kind. Prepare yourself for... (Rips off a curtain to reveal a corkboard of photos of various demons; puts on a hat and spins the cord on top of it.) Demons 101.
“Hello,” Dipper said eagerly, clicking his pen.
“Learning about demons is a good idea,” Baljeet nodded.
“Yeah! Your time to shine!” Polly grinned with enthusiasm.
King: Demons like me are grim tricksters of the twilight, creatures of sulfur and bone.
Luz: And cute little paws.
King: (Sighs.) And cute little paws. True.
There was a mix between awes and snickers.
“Sulfur? Your biology contains sulfur?” Dipper questioned curiously.
“Yes. It’ll make more sense in a second,” Kind responded.
King: We live only to create chaos and misery. Our only weaknesses are purified water and passive-aggressive comments. Sometimes.
Even demons have inner demons.
“Aw, do you need a hug, little guy,” Isabella cooed sweetly.
“No, I… oh.” The Mexican-Jewish girl held him sweetly in a soft hug. “This is nice.”
“Purified water? Does that have to do with why demons are composed of sulfur?” Dipper asked further.
“Purified water in its natural form on the Isles is boiling hot. Hence the name,” Hooty explained since King was too distracted by Isabella scratching spots in his neck and back. “So demons evolved from the only other component available. Sulfur. Hoot.”
The audience did a double take.
“Did the freaky bird tube just say something smart?” Stan questioned dumbfounded.
“He’ll be saying something insane again soon enough,” Eda scoffed.
“My mom is the eye of God. Hoot!”
“See?”
King begins to talk about the Snaggleback when Luz adds a filter to the screen.
King: Luz, pay attention. This information could save your life someday.
“Not that I hate what you’re doing there, I like it,” Wendy began. “But the little guy makes a good point.”
“There’s no telling how dangerous demons could be,” Hop Pop agreed.
“Yeah, take our world for reference,” Sprig thumbed towards his group.
“Of course he’s right. He’s a cute widdle dog,” Isabella cooed, not taking her eyes away from King. “You can always trust dogs.”
Dipper’s eyes widened in horror and he sucked in a breath upon seeing one of the pictures on the board. It was small and hard to see to the untrained eye. But he saw it. He saw him.
“Uh, King? What’s that triangle one right there?”
“Weh?” King looked up and saw where Dipper was pointing and laughed. “The Dream Demon? He’s just a myth! He can’t hurt you.”
The Gravity Falls group grimaced. He could hurt you. But not anymore, they hoped.
They hear thunder and Luz goes outside to see the rain.
Luz: I always love feeling the first few drops in my hair. (Kneels down to talk to a flower.) I bet you do too, little buddy. (A water drop drops down to the flower, making it wither and die immediately.) What?
“What the heck did we just see?!” Candace exclaimed. The rest of the newcomers had the same shocked expression on their faces.
“You guys have acid rain?” Anne asked.
“Not exactly,” Eda said.
Eda: Boiling rain!
“Oh. Right. Boiling Isles,” Boonchuy blinked. “Honestly, we should have seen that coming.”
“Why do I get the feeling that this place is one surprise after another?”
“Because it is,” Luz smiled fondly.
Eda grabs her arm and drags the both of them inside. Objects crash and clatter. Luz isn’t hurt. Badly.
The audience winced in sympathy. Except for Polly, who pointed at on screen Luz and laughed.
Intro plays.
The citizens of Bonesborough, including Willow and Tiny Nose frantically scramble to get inside.
“Good Lord,” Stan said. “I can’t imagine having to deal with that.”
King puts bandages on him and Luz.
King: Look, now we're boo-boo buddies.
Luz: (Squeals, then falls over.) Oh, my gosh, I love you so much.
Many of them awed at the sight.
“This is cute, what you two have,” Mabel smiled.
Eda: Yeah, we don't have weather. We have plagues, gorenados, shale hail, painbows.
King: It's like a rainbow but looking at it turns you inside out.
“Sounds like a regular rainbow to me,” Stan grumbled. The twins winced and tried their best to hide from his glare.
“This place gives Amphibia a run for its money with dangers like that,” Anne said.
“I must go there,” Sprig nodded firmly.
Eda’s gonna put up a forcefield that should protect them from the rain. And Snagglebacks.
Hooty: Hoot! Well, hurry it up with that force field. That rain is getting closer to my precious stucco.
“Wait, is Hooty the actual house?” Stacy asked, baffled.
“You bet!” the owl tube screeched.
“You’re always weirder the next time we see you,” Mabel stated.
Eda cast the shield.
Luz: Wow! Someday I'd like to be as cool as Eda the Owl Lady. Magical, sassy, surprisingly foxy for her age.
“Yeah, you are! Whoop, whoop!” Wendy cheered.
“Coolest Graunty ever!” Mabel added with equal enthusiasm.
While Eda was grinning from ear to ear, Stan looked at his grand niece nervously.
“Uh, Sweetie, I’m not being replaced, am I?”
“What? No, Grunkle Stan.”
“Whew!” he wiped the sweat from his brow. “That’s a relief.”
“But she is my new role model.”
“WHAT?!”
Luz: Hey, why do they call you the Owl Lady, anyway?
Eda says its cause she’s wise. Hooty says she coughs up rat bones. Kings says she’s distracted by shiny objects. He pulls out a glowing pen to prove his point.
Eda: It sparkles and shimmers. It shines and delights. I must have it for my nest…
Everyone, even Wendy and Mabel, laughed at Eda’s behavior, causing the Owl Lady to grunt in annoyance.
“You like glow pens, huh?” Stan grinned.
“I’m not buying anything from you, Pines.”
“Oh, come on!”
Isabella furrowed her brow. There was something familiar about all this, but she couldn't figure out what.
Eda crashes to the ground, tired from casting the shield. King says her age is finally catching up to her. She responds by pushing his hat over his head.
King: Darkness!
While the others were chuckling, Dipper tilted his head curiously.
“How exactly does using magic work? It’s clearly something that requires a lot of physical effort if it made you tired.”
“Good eye, kid,” Eda smirked at him. “It’ll make more sense in a second.”
Luz wants Eda to teach her a spell, leaving King alone. And he was gonna let her scratch his tummy.
“I’m sorry for making you feel left out, King,” Luz apologized to her brother. “You want me to scratch your tummy now?” she smirked.
“Yes, please!” King beamed in response and his sister begn showing her affection.
Eda wants to sleep on the couch and keeps telling Luz no. So, she whips out the sparkle thing.
Luz: Teach me one spell, and I'll give you your sparkle thing.
Eda: I respect your cunning, but I also hate you for it.
“Ah, bribery. The best form of persuasion,” Heinz sighed after calming down from his laughter.
“You’ve bribed people?” Hop Pop questioned.
“Once.”
Candace quietly crossed her arms grumbled while in the Backyard, Bufford laughed loudly.
Eda explains that before a witch earns a staff, they must learn to cast spells on their own. She draws a spell circle and a ball of light emerges, amazing Luz.
Everyone had the same look on their faces. Dipper eagerly wrote all this down.
King tries to get her attention to teach all the ways a demon can kill you, but Luz says she needs to focus.
“Maybe you could tell us after the break?” Anne suggested.
“Yeah, I’d like to learn about demons,” Gretchen added.
“Me too,” Dipper said.
“Sure! We can do a whole lecture at lunch,” King grinned excitedly.
Eda: Now, humans think magic is made out of thin air, but that's stupid. Everything comes from something. Let me ask you, kid. Where do you think magic comes from?
“Alright,” Eda said, getting up. “I want to know where you all think magic comes from.”
“It leaks in from another dimension,” Dipper guessed.
“The sheer power of love!” his sister proclaimed.
“An energy field that stems from life,” Baljeet theorized.
“Oh, yeah. Just like the Force,” Anne snapped her fingers.
“No it isn’t,” he argued.
“Dude, that’s literally what the Force is,” Soos said. “I’m gonna say… the heart.” (I know DeviousPsycho already did this, but come on. Who else was gonna guess it?)
“The blood of your enemies!” Polly roared, flexing her muscles.
The audience just stared at her warily.
“Okay~” Eda drawled out. “I’ll say this much: one of you was right.”
It’s the heart!
Eda: No, really. (Pulls out a diagram of viscera from her hair and shows it to Luz.) It comes from a sac of magic bile attached to a witch's heart.
“Yes!” Soos fist pumped.
“So, your bodies aren’t just controlling magic, they're also storing it and directing it from within them,” Dipper analyzed, clicking his pen.
“Yep,” Eda nodded. “Our bodies consume nutrients of the Isles and form them into magic which is stored in the bile sack.”
“Is there a limit to how much magic you can have?” Heinz asked.
“Not that I know of. But there is still a finite amount depending on how much you consume. A reason why I never stayed in the Human Realm too long is because I need to keep up my nutrient intake, otherwise my bile sack will be empty.”
“So that’s why we couldn’t do any magic in the Archives,” Gus whispered to Willow.
Eda then turned to the Flynn-Fletchers.
“Earlier I said that I’d tell you my theory. Well, now’s the time. I think it’s possible that you three are descendants of Witches and demons.” Their eyes widened at that.
“What led you to that conclusion?” Ferb asked.
“Your head shapes. A triangle, a rectangle, and a long neck.” The three felt their abnormal body parts and mulled it over. “Now, I don’t know if this means you have a bile sack, there’s a good chance you don’t considering that you’re still human, but it would explain a lot about you.”
The siblings were silent for a minute.
“We could do a DNA test after the break?” Phineas suggested.
“Sounds like a good idea, because where all that music was coming from has been driving me crazy.”
Eda: The bigger the spell circle, the more powerful the spell.
“So what happens if you cast a spell circle the size of a building?” Phineas wondered.
“Ha! Then you better run,” Eda laughed.
The two realize they don’t know how Luz can cast spells. Eda says that witches used to do magic differently, so maybe that’s the key?
The audience turned to the three expectantly.
“Sorry. Spoilers,” Luz said.
Luz convinces Eda to cast another spell circle, this time being recorded. One more spell won’t kill her. She passes out doing it.
King: Welp, looks like one more spell killed Eda.
Luz screams.
Some of the audience snickered while some winced in sympathy.
“Wow.You are really tired,” Jeremy said.
Luz is worried about her, so King baps her a few times.
There were some snorts in amusement while Eda glared at King.
Luz tries to go get help, but King reminds her of the boiling rain.
Hooty: No, let her try. It'll be funny.
Everyone’s eyes widened. The Owl Lady herself was shocked. That shock then turned to anger as she whirled on the bird worm.
“Hooty? Hooty!” Eda yelled and began to scold her house demon.
Luz: What if she’s dead?
King: Remember when her head got cut off last week? That woman can survive anything. She's probably just tired from staying up all night chasing shrews and voles.
There was a mix of amusement and disgust. Isabella however, blinked at the screen.
So she acts like an owl a lot?
They take Eda to her nest and King baps her as they leave.
The audience laughed and Eda looked at her son with her tough mom face.
“Do you think that’s funny?”
“Uh… yes?”
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t punish you for this.”
King gulped. He couldn’t think of one!
Luz tries to cast a spell circle and King wants to tell her about the ferocious demon, Smoochy-pie the Sweetie Baby!
King: He's... Well, he's a lot more threatening than his name implies.
There were some snickers.
“With what I’ve seen here, I believe it,” Candace said.
Luz says she wants to focus on learning magic.
Luz: I was a nobody back home. But becoming a witch is my chance to be someone. Do you know what it's like to have no one take you seriously?
Everyone frowned in sympathy, but none were more prominent than the ones who could truly emphasize with her. Candace, the twins, Polly and King looked at her with deep frowns. King hugged his sister in comfort. She responded by petting his skull.
He decides to help her.
King: Every day I notice Eda sneaking drinks of this special elixir, see? Then she always gets a boost of energy, see? I think that's where she gets her powers. And I know where to get some.
Eda heaved a sigh. So that’s why they did it.
“So that elixir contains nutrients from the Isles?” Dipper asked.
“Yes, but there’s something else you should know beore trying to drink it.”
King goes to Eda’s room. He notices a bright orange potion on Eda's side table. He starts sneaking over to it, stopping at a metal clang.
King: Ha! Nice try.
Trap: Nah, my heart wasn't in it.
“What the… What the heck?!” everyone excliamed.
“Ugh, I hate those pests,” Willow complained.
“These are normal?!” Candace shouted.
“Pretty much,” Gus shrugged indifferently.
King: "An elixir a day." Cryptic.
He takes the potion and leaves.
“Please tell me that’s not prescription medicine,” Isabella said flatly.
“It is,” Eda responded.
“Yeah, I definetly wouldn’t drink that,” Dipper frowned.
Luz gets excited that she’s about to learn magic and almost drinks it, but thunder startles her and it smashes on the ground.
“Probably for the best. Yuo may have dodged a serious bullet there,” Polly mentioned.
The lights go out. Hooty controls the lights, so they go check on him. A shadowy beast has knocked the door of its hinges and made a mess of the front wall. It growls when it notices the other two, then flees.
“Was that the Snaggleback?!” Mabel screamed.
“King was right!” Sprig yelled.
Luz: Whatever did this escaped into the rain. What could survive that?
King realizes it’s the Snaggleback.
“Alright, now’s definitely the time to listen to his lessons,” Doof said.
Luz: This is terrifying. So why do you look so happy?
King: Because this could be a lesson. This would be a great way for you to see a wild demon up close and personal.
“Who in their right mind would want to do that?” Stacy questioned. Her question was answered in the form of The twins, Candace, Phineas, Ferb, Polly and Sprig huddled together.
“Okay, so I’m thinking we could use a dual pincer movement to keep it occupied,” Dipper drew the battle plans out.
“I could blind it with my beautiful artwork!” Mabel beamed and threw glitter from her pocket. I landed in Sprigs eyes, making him recoil in pain.
“That’ll work,” Polly cackled.
“Ferb and I can build the trap,” Phineas added.
“The rest of us can engage the beast head on,” Candace finished.
“Why did I even ask?” Stacy asked herself flatly.
He convinces her to do it to protect Eda, and they put on some “gear.”
“Take it from someone who’s tried, stuff animals are not good armor,” Dipper said.
They go to Eda’s room but her nest is empty. She got snaggle-backed!
“Oh no!” most exclaimed.
“Graunty Eda!” Mabel cried.
Perry narrowed his eyes at the scene. Something wasn’t right here.
King leaves to get his book to investigate the slash marks. A shadow moves through the hallway.
Everyone looked at the little guy nervously.
He finds her gone and runs through the halls, chasing after the Snaggleback.
King: You craven beast. Give me back my boo-boo buddy.
It warmed their hearts to see King so dedicated to Luz.
“She your favorite subject?” Wendy smirked.
“Yes,” King nodded. I’m the king of her heart. And I’ll never trade that for anything.
He finds Luz’s shoe and holds it like a weapon. The beast is cornered behind some clothes.
Back in the Owl House, Camila cooed at the sight.
“Ay, que lindo. He’s already mastering the art of La Chancla.”
The Snaggleback is… a lot shorter in person.
The audience blinked.
“That’s it?” Mabel questioned.
“Did it only look scary?” Polly wondered.
Perry shook his head. No. Something else was going on here.
Snaggleback explains that he only just arrived to hide from the rains.
“Wait, so he’s not the monster?” Candace realized.
“Then… what is?” Sprig wondered in slight fear.
Perry’s eyes flickered over to the owl themed Witch in worry. This was all starting to paint a pretty clear picture and he didn’t like where this was going.
A shadowed claw pulls Snaggleback through the ceiling. The door creaks open, revealing the shadowy beast, still snarling. It spits out Snaggleback's shell, then roars.
Everyone screamed in terror.
“Well, at least it was a quick and painless death,” Sprig tried to look on the bright side.
“How could that have been painless?” Isabella quietly wailed. “He got eaten alive!” she then screamed.
King barely manages to escape and finds Luz.
The audience heaved a sigh of relief.
Luz: I was checking on Eda, and she was gone, and then you were gone. I also tripped and lost my shoe. Oh, hey, you found it.
“Yeah, don’t wanna be stealing your look,” Luz joked to Anne.
“Yeah, don’t wanna…” anne trailed off as she saw that she was once again missing a shoe. “Oh, come on! You could have a least given me two shoes!” she cried towards the ceiling.
“Well, there’s a reason why I didn’t give you another shoe.”
“Why?” Anne crossed her arms.
“It was funny,” the host cackled. Some of the audience joined in.
“It’s not funny,” Anne grumbled.
“Then why am I laughing so hard?” King laughed.
Luz raises her foot to put her shoe on, revealing a piece of paper on the bottom of her foot.
King: What's that? (Takes it) "Keeps the curse at bay." (Gasps, pulls out the tag in his collar and puts them together.) "An elixir a day, keeps the curse at bay."
Everyone gasped.
“Uh oh,” Candace went.
“You don’t mean…” Mabel looked to her Graunty worriedly.
King: I was wrong the whole time. That's no Snaggleback. That creature is…
The beast breaks in, revealing a familiar face.
Luz: Eda?
They had begun to see it coming, but everyone was shocked all the same. The silence was palpable. Isabella’s eyes widened as the reality that she’d been trying to put together slapped her in the face. A Witch with owl-like habits that also turned into an owl-like beast? It all fit.
“You’re La Lechuza?!” the young girl cried. Eda blinked at her in confusion.
“I’m what?”
“La Lechuza,” the Mexican-Jewish girl began. “A legend that really took off in the 70’s across Mexico and the American Southwest. They say that some children went missing in a village, and the locals believed that a nearby Witch ate them. This greatly offended her. So becomes a giant owl at night that eats grown men, punishing them for accusing her of a crime she didn’t commit.”
“Huh. That’s actually the least offensive story I’ve ever heard about me.”
“You’re not gonna turn into that thing right now, are you?” Sprig asked warily. Stan, Perry, Hop Pop and Sprig looked at her the same way.
“Hey!” Luz shouted. “Eda has already had a hard enough life, and she does not need that from any of you right now!”
That got them to flinch and quickly apologize. Eda released a heavy sigh and looked down at her hands. Mabel’s heart broke at this. So she got up from her seat, walked over to the Owl LAdy, and hugged her Graunty.
“I’m so sorry,” the Shooting Star spoke softly into her stomach.
Eda tried her best not to cry. She wanted to say something but the words died in her throat. So all she did was reciprocate the embrace, and hold the sweet girl tightly.
A flash from Luz’s phone is their salvation and they flee, hiding on the balcony.
Perry filed that information for later. Eda herself did not seem like a danger to his family, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared for a rainy day. A glance around the room showed that Dipper was doing the same thing. The two stared at each other and shared a nod.
King: The elixir I gave you doesn't give Eda powers. It prevents her from turning into that thing.
“How long have you had to live with this?” Mabel asked in concern.
“A long time. And that’s all I can say for now.”
King: I'm so sorry, Luz. I-I just wanted you to be into demons like you're into magic. I don't have many friends, and no one even pays that much attention to me. I thought maybe if I taught you, finally someone would care about creatures like me.
Dipper frowned at the screen. He turned to the page where he’d written “Is He Bill?” and tapped it with his pen. He looked at King and then back at the page. Making up his mind, Dipper crossed out the sentence and closed the book. One glance with Candace, Mabel and Polly was all they needed. The quartet grabbed the little guy and raised him high.
“Weh?! What’s going on?!”
“One of us! One of us! One of us!” the four cheered.
“They love me!”
Luz decides they finish the lesson.
Luz: Eda's turned into some kind of demon, and we need to save her. So who knows more about demons than the best teacher in the world?
They handed King off to Luz who then began to tickle him.
“Who’s the best widdle teacher in the world?”
“Me! Me! I’m the best!” he laughed.
Because her eyes were black, King realizes that her weakness is light.
“Of course! Just like all nocturnal animals,” Baljeet realized.
Unfortunately, Luz’s camera broke, and she can’t perform the light spell.
“Then what are you gonna do? How did you dudes get out of this?” Soos asked.
“You’ll see in a sec,” Luz smiled softly.
She plays the video and it glitches, revealing the light glyph.
“Is that what I think it is?” Ferb asked.
“I don’t know. You tell me,” Luz responded cheekily.
Luz draws the glyph on a leaf and taps it. It rolls up into a ball of light.
Luz: Oh, my gosh. I just did magic. (Stands triumphantly.) I just did magic! I just did magic!
Everyone clapped and cheered for the young girl.
“You just did magic!” Phineas beamed.
“Real Witch magic! Ah!” Mabel screamed in joy.
“Yep,” Luz nodded fondly. “That will remain as one of the most treasured memories in my life-”
“Holy cow! Everyone, look!” They all turned to see a ball of light floating in front of Dipper. “I drew it on the page and tapped it and this happened!” he exclaimed excitedly.
Luz gasped and pulled out her own notepad, drew the glyph and tapped it. The paper rolled into a ball of light and gently floated in her hands.
It took everything Luz had not to cry then and there. She could use the glyphs again! But how?
She turned to her left to see the shadowed form of the host standing a few feet away. Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could tell they were smirking softly at her.
“How?” she whispered so no one else could hear.
“You’re one of the brightest girls I’ve ever met, Luz Noceda. I know you’ll figure it out on your own.” Then they were enveloped in darkness that swirled around them and they were gone.
Luz: I think I know how to get Eda back. Will you help me, boo-boo buddy?
King: I'm kind of over that nickname. But okay.
There were some chuckles at the interaction.
Eda’s sniffing around the living room when King taunts her with the glow pen.
Everyone laughed and Eda sighed.
“I’ve never been more glad to be humiliated,” the Owl Lady admitted.
He lures Eda down the hall where Luz has drawn a giant light glyph.
“Oh, yeah. That’ll do the trick,” Polly nodded.
A giant blinding light envelops the area. Later, Eda wakes up drinking a bottle of elixir through a straw.
The audience heaved a sigh of relief knowing that the danger was finally over.
Eda: Ahh! W-What happened? Oh, I have the worst headache. And my mouth tastes like roadkill.
She gags, retches. A giant owl pellet breaks, revealing Snaggleback.
Snaggleback: I'm just gonna... lie here for a minute.
“Oh, poor guy,” Mabel winced in sympathy.
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t painless,” Sprig admitted.
“You think?” Candace snarked.
Eda is furious with King but halts when she sees Luz drawing glyphs, filling the room with balls of light.
“Wow,” everyone said.
“It’s beautiful,” Anne breathed.
King apologizes to Eda.
Eda: I haven't been completely honest with you guys. When I was younger, I was cursed. I don't know exactly how it happened, all I know is that if I don't take my elixir... Well, that's why people call me the Owl Lady. No one likes having a curse, but if you take the right steps, it's manageable.
“So as long as you drink your elixir, you’ll be okay?” Phineas asked hopefully.
“Yes,” Eda nodded.
“Does it hurt?” Mabel placed a hand on Eda’s arm. “Every time you turn into the Owl Beast.”
“Not as much as knowing what it did while I was out,” Eda frowned.
Eda: But, hey, look at this. A human doing magic. Good on you, kid.
Luz says she had encouragement a great teacher, referring to King.
The family of three hugged each other warmly, bringing a smile to everyone’s faces.
Hooty: Hey, hey! Is anyone there? Hello? Hoot? I'm on the floor. It's cold!
King: That voice. That horrific voice!
Heinz and Stan shivered.
“Horrific is right,” Doofenshmirtz grimaced.
Snaggleback: Ow, ow, ow. I think my tail was digested.
The audience winced in sympathy.
Eda sleeps, dreaming about the memory of when she was cursed.
Eda: You! You're the one who cursed me, aren't you? Who are you? Who are you?
“Why do they look like that?” Mabel asked.
“My memory of that night was pretty murky, so this is the best I could picture it,” Eda explained.
“Did you ever find out who cursed you?” Dipper questioned.
“Kid, that has to be one of the biggest spoilers in our entire show.”
They fix Hooty’s door, and Luz welcomes him to the boo-boo buddy club.
“Oh boy, my first club! Hoot!” Hooty cheered right in Stan’s ear. The old man responded by punching him in the face. “Ow!” Luz then happily placed a bandage on his bruise.
Snaggleback: And then she had teeth in her stomach. Teeth in her stomach! Can you believe that?
King: Oh yeah!
“Cool!” Dipper grinned as he wrote this down.
“Painless, huh?” Candace said to Sprig flatly.
“I just wanted to have that lie!”
Snaggleback: That book is filled with so many interesting things. Like this. I'm one of the strongest demons on the Boiling Isles, huh?
King: Yeah, I'm gonna have to edit that.
The Snaggleback is devastated.
There were a few laughs at the last bit.
“Wow. So that’s it? It’s over? We’re done for today?” Stan asked.
“I guess,” Luz shrugged.
“So… what do we do now?” Sprig asked.
It was at this moment that they collectively realized that they had no idea. Luckily though, the host came to their aid.
There was a swirl of shadows and the host appeared before them in their hidden form.
“Now everyone, if I could have your attention for just one moment, you will not regret it,” their host began. “I have planned out many activities for your pleasure if you are willing. In the Danville area, you may treat yourself to the Rollercoaster, the Beach, the race track or even the tree houses. In Gravity Falls you may explore the mysterious forests or go fishing at the lake. Or maybe you’ll just want to stroll through the streets. You could also traverse Wartwood and see the Frogs’ lifestyle up close. You could even compete in the potluck. Or visit the streets of Bonesborough. I have also created new patches for the Fireside Girls to earn. However you wish to spend your day, go do it.”
“Wow, that sounds like fun!” Gus grinned.
“So, do we just walk through each other’s doors or…” Dipper asked.
“No need.” the host snapped their fingers. “Now open your doors.”
The audience shrugged and did so. Their eyes widened and some even gasped upon seeing the sight before them. In the not so far distance, each of them could see the other areas or towns right next to each other.
“You merged them together?” Stan questioned.
“Yes and no. They were actually connected from the beginning. I have simply lifted the illusion.”
“I better get my swimsuit,” Mabel cheered.
“I’m gonna ride the Rollercoaster!” Sprig hopped around.
“I better keep an eye on him,” Anne said.
“Oh, absolutely,” Hop Pop agreed.
“Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today. We’re gonna fly around on jetpacks across all the towns,” Phineas smiled. “Wanna come, Candace?”
“I’d love to, but I don’t know how to fly a jet pack.” The redhead shivered at the thought of spiraling out of control on one of those things, screaming all the way. “I’ll meet you there on foot.”
“Cool. Perry?” The platypus gave him a thumbs up. “Awesome! This is gonna be so cool now that you can be your real self around us.”
“Who wants to go solve the codes at lunch?” Dipper asked the others. Candace, Stacy, Luz, all the Fireside Girls and Sprig raise their hands.
“I think someone in my group would be interested as well,” Luz said.
“Same here,” Anne added.
“Mine too,” Dipper nodded. “Let’s spread the word to anyone who wants to come.” The others nodded and the witch girl turned to King
“So, King, what do you wanna do first? Wanna try out a human restaurant and get pizza?” Luz offered.
“Yes! But after that…” he turned to Perry. “Give me one second.” He walked over to the agent, briefly confusing his mother and sister. Perry looked down at him curiously. “Hey uh, I was wondering… could you… teach me how to fight?” the young Titan asked nervously. The platypus blinked as he saw those eyes looking up at him adorably. There was such a childlike sweetness in them that just melted his heart. After a moment, Perry smiled and nodded. “Yes! Thank you! Villains everywhere will tremble before me!” the young Clawthorne declared confidently.
“Alright, it would be good for you to learn from him,” Eda said.
“Hey, I know what to do. You can have him fight me!” Heinz beamed, causing the others to look at him strangely.
“Uh, what?” Stan asked.
“Perry the Platypus, the best method is experience. So I could try to conquer this place, and you both will stop me.”
Perry held his bill in thought. Eda and Luz frowned as they mulled it over.
“I like it,” King grinned. “Can I, Eda? Please?”
“Oh, alright.” The Owl Lady glared at the scientist. “But if you hurt him in any way…”
“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Plus, I’m pretty sure I’ll lose either way. Now if you excuse me, I have to get ready to go conquer the… uh what do you call this place?”
“The Tri-Realm Area.”
“Thank you. I better get ready to conquer the Tri-Realm Area!” He slouched for a moment. “Huh. It doesn’t have the same feeling as the Tri-State Area. It’ll probably grow on me.”
And so, the members of the audience walked through their respective doors to go off on their new adventures with their new friends.
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“Qr. Exw qrz wkdw kh’v jrqh, wkhb zloo eh pxfk kdughu wr frph eb.”
“Krz glg wkdw zrun, eb wkh zdb?”
“Zhoo, kh zdv wkh frvplf ehlqj lq fkdujh ri Wlph lwvhoi. Qrz, dqrwkhu frvplf ehlqj frxog gr lw, exw zlwkrxw d gluhfw frqqhfwlrq wr Wlph, lw’oo eh pxfk kdughu.”
“Kpp,” Khlqc kxpphg.
Hdqnl dqg wkh Darorwo zdwfkhg wkh wzr ri wkhp lqwhudfw.
“Zkhq’v kh sodqqlqj wr riihu klp wkh srvw?” wkh Wlwdq dvnhg.
“Wrpruurz,” wkh jldqw dpskleldq dqvzhuhg. “L’oo kdyh dq riihu iru brx dv zhoo.”
“Ph?” kh zkluohg rq klp. “Zkdw zrxog wkdw eh?”
“Brx’oo ilqg rxw wrpruurz.” Wkh Wlwdq mxvw vkuxjjhg lq uhvsrqvh. Wkhb zhuh vlohqw iru d plqxwh.
“L wdnh lw wkdw wkh hyhqwv lq Khoo kdyh wdnhq doo ri brxu dwwhqwlrq fruuhfw?”
“Dqg wkh Jkrvw Zruog, exw bhv.”
“Dk, bhv. L wklqn wkdw’v zkhuh L’oo eh khdglqj zkhq doo wklv lv ryhu. Pb iluvw vwrs dqbzdbv. Brx nqrz wkdw xv Wlwdqv fdq ylvlw dqb diwhuolih zh sohdvh.”
“L nqrz,” kh qrgghg. “Wkh zkroh Juhdw Ehbrqg lv brxuv iru wkh hasorulqj.”
“Vr… brx grq’w nqrz zkdw kdv kdsshqhg?” Hdqnl vwdwhg pruh vr wkdq dvnhg.
“Zkdw gr brx phdq?” Hdqnl zdv vlohqw. “Zkdw kdsshqhg?”
“L zloo hasodlq hyhubwklqj wrpruurz. Zkdw zh’uh grlqj khuh vkrxog odvw derxw wkuhh zhhnv, dqg wkh uhdo zruog lv iurchq lq wlph dqbzdbv.”
“Vkrxog L eh zruulhg, rog iulhqg?” wkh Darorwo dvnhg judyhob.
“…Bhv.”
Wkh dpskleldq eolqnhg dv d wkrxjkw vwuxfn klv plqg.
“Grhv wklv kdyh wr gr zlwk… klp?”
“…Bhv.”
Notes:
That's right people! Perry is going to teach King how to fight! And they're gonna practice on Doofenshmirtz! I've been wanting to get to this since day one. Speaking of day one... whew. Finally finished the first batch of reactions. Next I have to write the break and that may actually take less time to do. Although I will need to update another work first.
Normally I'd be dumping all my favorite parts of the Book of Bill into this section, but it's past 10:30 p.m. here and I'm tired. So you'll have to ask for my thoughts in the comments.
Also, what do you think of the Flynn-Fletchers possibly being related to Witches. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna make that the reason for why they can do everything they can do, but it's a fun idea.
Until next time. This is the Way.
Chapter 9: Welcome to the Tri-Realm-Area
Notes:
One month later. My apologies. This chapter was actually going to be much longer, but I decided today that it would be best to add a bit more and post the other half on a different day. So, here's the first half of the first break. It's filled with surprises.
Also, James Earl Jones passed away. This is a devastating loss for all of humanity. We owe him so much for all the years of performances he gave us. We may have lost a friend... but heaven has gained a King. We're gonna miss you, James.
RIP
:'(
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
There were many places everyone could have gone for lunch. But when Candace mentioned a certain pizza place in Danville… there was no debate.
“Say ah~,” Luz beckoned her girlfriend with a slice of pizza.
“Ah~,” Amity opened her mouth wide, allowing Luz to feed her. She took a bite and her eyes lit up at the taste. “This is amazing!”
“I know!”
“I’m never eating anything else ever again!” King declared, chomping down on his slice like an animal. This elicited laughs from the Owl House group at their table.
“Anne, I owe you an apology,” Hop Pop said at the Amphibia table. “Pizza’s incredible!”
“Told ya,” Anne shot him a finger gun with a smirk.
“I’ve seen the future! And it’s pizza,” Polly proclaimed sagely.
“You want some, Mars?”
“I’m actually planning on trying some food from the Boiling Isles,” Marcy responded. “I’m just here for the codebreakers meeting in a few minutes. And to hang out with you guys.”
“Pizza time! Pizza time! Pizza time!” the hidden forms of Candy and Grenada, and Mabel cheered, pounding their fists on the Gravity Falls table.
“Calm down, girls. The pizza will be here soon,” Stan said.
“What do you plan to do today, Mr. Pines?” Soos asked.
“Doofenshmirtz is gonna show me some possible locations for the new Mystery Shack location. As well as a few candidates to run it.”
“Here’s the pizza, guys,” Wendy came over and handed them the box.
“Why is it still in the box? All the other pizzas just came on platters.”
Wendy shrugged in response and moved over to the table with the other teens. Candace however, who had been standing in line with her group, Dipper and a hidden guy, grabbed Wendy to stop her.
“Uh Wendy, what pizza did they order?”
“The exploding one.”
“What?!” she, and surprisingly Doofenshmirtz, exclaimed.
“Time for ultimate flavor!” Mabel beamed and began to open the box.
“Hoo wee! Ima put that pizza all over my face!” the shrouded figure of McGucket added.
“Everybody get down!” Candace cried out. The ones closest to her were quick to follow suit. The ones at the Gravity Falls table… weren’t so lucky.
Mabel opened the box and the pizza exploded, splattering the mess of dough, marinara and cheese all over them. The six of them sat in silence for a few seconds until it was broken by Soos.
“Dudes, would it be a new low if I ate this? Aw, who am I kidding? I’ll eat it anyway.” The handyman then proceeded to lick the pizza off his arm loudly. “Heh heh! It’s still pretty good, dudes.”
“I have to go change,” Stan got up and left.
The girls and McGucket shrugged and started eating the pizza off their arms and faces too. The others just stared at them silently for a minute before Candace turned to face Dipper.
“You wanna share our dairy free pepperoni and cheese pizza?”
“Yeah, I can do that,” Dipper nodded. “Not too different from what I already get just as long as it’s kosher.”
“Same,” Isabella and the hidden guy simultaneously said.
(Okay, heads up. I apologize in advance if I’m horribly incorrect about this being okay in a kosher diet. I’m not Jewish, so all I know about the diet is no mixing meat with dairy and no shellfish. I just wanted a scene where all the codebreakers share a pizza, and pepperoni is the best. But we know that Isabella is Jewish, and recently learned through the Book of Bill that the Pines family are as well. So this is the best reason I could come up with. Plus, we see in Carpet Diem that Mabel offers Dipper a slice of pepperoni pizza, so it probably was a dairy free cheese one. And the peperoni is likely beef.)
”We’ll get you the beef version then.”
The codebreakers all sat together sharing their pizza. The host had also given them tablets so they could look through their episodes for clues.
“Alright, let me check the attendance list before we get started,” Dipper said, looking down at a checklist. “We’ve got Candace, Stacy, the Fireside girls, Sprig, and three people from our groups that have not been introduced yet, so they’ll be using codenames.”
“Greetings,” the one from Gravity Falls waved. “You can call me Dr. P.”
“I’m Cool Aunt,” the figure from the Owl House introduced.
“And I will go by Wit!” the mystery character from Amphibia excitedly stated.
“Okay, I think the best place to start would be the Gravity Falls codes,” Dipper continued, holding up his list of codes. The Fireside girls all simultaneously pulled out some books.
“Would that be Atbash or Caesar?” Gretchen asked.
“Hmm, not sure,” Dipper admitted.
“What’s Caesar?” Stacy questioned.
“Caesar Cipher is a code invented by Julius Caesar when he was a General of Rome,” Dr. P explained.
“Wait a minute,” Luz trailed off. Then she perked up. “The host! They gave us a clue.”
“What do you mean?” Cool Aunt asked her niece.
“During the first break the host said ‘Even Caesar needed sleep.’ That was a hint!”
“I think you’re right,” Dipper blinked and grinned.
“So how does Caesar Cipher work?” Sprig asked.
“It’s basically a switching up of the alphabet,” Wit began. “Let’s say that the key was 3, the most common one. That would mean that L would equal I.”
“So, if 3 is the most common key, then we should try that first, right?” Candace proposed.
“Worth a shot,” Dipper shrugged. “Since this is our show, I’ll take the first code.”
“We’re trying to get our codebreaking patches, so us Fireside Girls will do the second code,” Isabella said.
“If Candace and I join you, then there should be enough for each of us to do one letter,” Stacy suggested.
“Works for me, Sis,” Ginger told her older sister.
“Can Wit and I do the third?” Sprig practically pleaded.
“Sure, dude,” Dipper smirked.
“And Cool Aunt and I can do the last one,” Luz said cheerfully.
“Let’s get to it,” Dipper grinned. It took them a few minutes, but they finally finished up and grinned at each other. “Here it is, people. WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS.”
“That’s it?” Luz frowned.
“I imagine that the codes will get more complicated and revealing the further we get into the series,” Dr. P mentioned which seemed to placate the team.
“Our’s says, NEXT WEEK: RETURN TO BUTT ISLAND. Any idea what that’s about?” Isabella asked.
“Oh, yeah. Mabel and I-” he was cut off by the silencing spell. “I guess we’ll be covering that later.”
“The third code says, HE’S STILL IN THE VENTS,” Sprig read aloud.
“That Wax Larry King isn’t going to be a problem, is he?” Wit wondered.
“Oh, no. Not at all,” Dipper waved off.
“That’s good to hear,” Luz smiled. “Because I just cracked the last code. Although, I’m a bit confused by it,” she said, puzzled.
“Why’s that?” Wit asked.
“It says, CARLA, WHY WON’T YOU CALL ME? Who’s Carla?”
Dipper and Dr. P winced and quickly glanced at Stan to make sure he hadn’t heard it.
He heard it.
Stan had come back from changing a few minutes ago. He sat at the table next to them and sighed and put down his new drink. He then stared at it with a sad frown, his mind lost in thought.
“That… is a spoiler, I’m afraid,” Dr. P sighed sadly.
“It’s best not to think about it, right now,” Dipper continued.
“Fair enough,” Stacy nodded.
“Hey, guys?” Sprig asked. “I keep looking through our episodes and I can’t find any codes.”
“Maybe there aren’t any yet?” Candace proposed. “Our show doesn’t have codes at all, but maybe we need to wait for yours?”
“I guess,” the pink frog pouted.
“Well, I have found all the codes for the Owl House,” Cool Aunt announced.
“You have?” Dr. P asked, adjusting his glasses.
“Yes, and I’ve taken some snapshots. They are runes,” she held up her tablet to show them the pictures.
“Oh, yeah.” Luz then grinned. “I know how to solve them!”
“We’re all ears, young lady,” Dr. P waved his hand encouragingly.
“Runes are not too different from the English alphabet. If you see a strange symbol that looks like a letter, that’s because it is,” Luz explained, already beginning to translate the runes. “And while they may be spelt differently, they make the same sound. Like this.” She showed them her work.
Tu witsiz tourn epart.
“So, all we do now is come close to what their English words are?” Wit asked.
“Exactly.”
“So, then ‘tu’ is either to, too or two,” Dipper wrote.
“And witsiz is probably witches,” Candace added.
“A tourn is a court presided over by a sheriff, so it’s not that,” Wit analyzed. “Meaning that it must be torn.”
“That leaves epart being apart,” Luz finished.
“So, the code is ‘Two witches torn apart.’ Any idea what that’s talkin’ about?” Sprig asked.
Luz winced when Sprig read the full code and Cool Aunt flinched violently. The hidden companion seemed to look down at the translation with a fallen face and slowly ran her fingers over it. Then she took a deep breath and stood up.
“If you excuse me, I’m sorry to say that I must depart.”
“Are you alright, madame?” Dr. P asked, seeing her clear discomfort.
“I’m fine. I just need to… I just need a moment to myself.”
And then she left the restaurant. Luz watched her go with a frown. She saw Eda then rise up and follow her out. The young witch sighed upon seeing that the others were looking to her for answers.
“The code is referring to a touchy subject for our group. She just needs time to deal with the resurfacing emotions.”
“Yeah. I think we all have a few of those,” Wit frowned.
“Well, this was a lot of fun, right?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah, it was fun,” Isabella smiled.
“Same time tomorrow?” Candace proposed.
“I’m game,” Wit said.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll meet around lunch everyday to break the codes,” Dipper nodded. “Meeting adjourned.”
They all got up and began to go their separate ways. Most of them anyway. Isabella was suddenly grabbed by her troupemates, Candace and Stacy. They then proceeded to nearly drag her
“What’s going on?” the Garcia-Shapiro questioned.
“We’re gonna meet with Jeremy, Vanessa, Wendy, Mabel and Luz at the cabin,” Candace began with determination. “And we will settle this thing between you and my brother.
Meanwhile, Wit, AKA Marcy, went over to Anne and Sasha.
“You girls wanna come with me to Bonesborough?”
“Sure. Someone’s gotta make sure you don’t give yourself food poisoning,” Sasha teased.
“Sasha~,” Marcy whined.
“I’d love to, Mar-Mar, but I need to keep Sprig away from Phineas and Ferb’s more dangerous inventions,” Anne said.
“Yeah, I’d be more worried about him with the race car than the rollercoaster,” Sasha frowned.
“Ugh! Don’t remind me,” Anne sulked.
“Hey, cheer up, Anne,” Marcy placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We can do something relaxing tonight. Like cuddling with Domino.”
“That does sound nice,” Boonchuy smiled. “So, I’m off the hook? We’re good in that area?”
“Aw come on, Anna Banana! You know I was only being half serious,” she poked her arm playfully.
“We gonna go or not?” Waybright laughed.
“Yep! Just let me…” Marcy trailedoff when she saw where Sasha was resting her hands. “You’re still carrying your swords?”
The blonde winced slightly upon the looks Anne and Marcy were giving her.
“Well… yeah. I love my swords.” Their looks didn’t go away. “And… I don’t feel safe without them,” she admitted quietly.
“Sashy…” Marcy reached out for her.
“It’s fine,” Waybright cut in, her voice louder than intended. “I just need time to adjust. That’s all.”
She was then engulfed in a double hug by her besties.
“We’re safe here, Sash,” Anne murmured into her shoulder.
“Are we?” she responded just as quietly.
“We won’t know unless we try,” Marcy said softly.
Sasha nodded after a moment and the trio untangled themselves from the hug.
“We better get going,” Sasha began. “Good luck with Sprig.”
“Good luck with Marcy,” Anne smirked.
“Guys~,” Marcy whined again, causing the other two to laugh.
As this went on, Eda walked down the street until she found her sister sitting on a bench with her face buried in her hands. The gray haired Witch sat down and wrapped an arm around her.
“You know I forgave you for this, right?”
“I do,” Lilith said with a quiver. “But I can’t help it when my guilt resurfaces. I… I ruined your life, Edalyn.”
Eda just sighed and thought her options over. Then a small smile formed on her face.
“Look at me, Lily.” Her older sister did so and she could see that she had been crying. “You know what Dad said to me when we finally talked again?” Lilith shook her head. “He said to let the past stay in the past. It’s okay to move on.”
Lilith just stared at Eda. Then she pulled her into a hug and quietly cried into her shoulder.
“Alright, there we go,” Eda patted her pack as they embraced. “Now come on. Let’s go find out what’s going on with those boys.”
“Ah, yes. I believe Dipper and that Dr. P said they would be attending as well,” she whipped away her tears. Then she adjusted her glasses and adopted a pondering expression. “You know, he is very bright for his age.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that I might want to keep my eye on him.”
Meanwhile a few blocks away, two new friends and business partners were walking down the street.
“And this is the other side of town,” Heinz waved around him as he and Stan walked through the area.
“Well, it’s definitely a lot cheaper than the part you live in,” Stan observed. “It’s a good location.”
“Exactly why I think we should build the Shack around here. I actually lived here for a bit and got to know some of the people here. Speaking of which, this is my candidate to run the place.”
Heinz pulled out a picture of a young redhead.
“Who’s that?”
“This is Melissa Chase. She may be young, but she's very clever and competent.”
“Any downsides?”
“Well, that’s just it. She’s clever and competent, so she knows how much she’s worth, and will charge more,” he admitted. Stan huffed at that.
“She better be worth it.”
“Oh, she will,” Doof nodded. “Now, let’s start coming up with exhibits.”
“How many Inators do you have?”
“Hundreds.”
“How many are safe?”
“Hmm…” Heinz tapped his chin. “Most of them were for petty crimes so… a lot.”
“Well, I think that wraps up our plans for the Shack today. You head back to your building and get ready for willingly losing a fight.”
“I’m actually planning on competing in that potluck before that.”
“Really? What are you entering?”
“My family’s meatloaf recipe. What will you do?”
“I’m goin’ to fish at Lake Gravity Falls with uh… someone you haven’t met yet.”
“Have fun!”
“You too!”
The two then parted ways going off in separate directions. What they didn’t see though were three people watching the man in a fez from the bushes.
“Do we really have to tail him, Mr. X?” Bee asked.
“There are more important things we could be doing with our day,” Oum agreed.
“Stan Pines is clearly a criminal who is hiding something big, and as Federal agents, we need to find out what we can about him,” X answered, not looking away from Pines.
“But we’re not Federal agents. We just helped fight Frogvasion.” Mr. X just sighed in response.
“Tell you what? Help me with this, and you can keep the suits.”
The married couple blinked, shared a look and nodded.
“Deal,” Bee said.
“Good. Now let’s follow him to that lake.”
“This is the address Candace gave me,” Luz said, looking at the cabin inside Danville. “Thanks for walking me here, Amity.”
“My pleasure,” her girlfriend smiled at her. “Oh, before I go…” Amity then proceeded to firmly grab both sides of Luz’s face and kiss her fiercely. The Afro-Latina was putty in her hands as she kissed her back. Blight eventually pulled back and looked at her with that same fierceness. “You are mine! No one else’s! Are we clear?”
“Yes! Yes, we are clear! We are very clear!” Luz stammered with a bright blush on her cheeks.
“Good,” she said with a firm nod. “Well, have fun!” Amity beamed cheerfully and walked away. Luz’s gaze lingered though because she was deliberately flipping her hair around to make her girlfriend swoon.
And swoon she did.
“She’s so perfect,” Luz spoke, still in a daze.
“Hello!” Mabel hollered from behind, making her jump.
“Oh, hey Mabel.”
“Hi, Luz.”
“Um, how much of that did you see?”
“What are you talking about? All I saw was you standing here staring off into space. What should I have seen?” Pines asked with interest.
“Oh, nothing important,” Luz waved off in relief. Don’t wanna spoil that surprise. “Come on. Let’s go help Isabella with her oblivious crush.
The pair went inside to see the others all sitting with the young girl herself, listening to what she had to say about her problem.
“I want to tell him, but every time I’ve tried to say something, I completely choke or he doesn’t get it,” Isabella explained.
“How? My brother has literally built an elevator to the Moon. The Moon! How is he this blind?!” Candace threw up her arms in frustration.
“What he needs is a big dose of love right in the face.” Mabel said.
“Mabel’s right. Just tell him, girl,” Wendy laughed lightly.
“Okay but… how?” Isabella asked.
“Well, if you’re that nervous, why don’t you just text him?” a shadowy figure suggested. AKA, Vanessa.
“Huh. Good idea… uh, what did you want us to call you for today?” Jeremy questioned.
“Well, she’s the Cool Girl in our group,” Stacy offered.
“Works for me,” the newly dubbed Cool Girl shrugged.
“Okay, so I’m gonna text him. What should I write?” Isabella held out her phone.
“What do you want to say to him?” Luz questioned.
“I don’t know.”
“Then just… speak from the heart,” Noceda smiled softly.
“Yeah! Let love do the talking!” Mabel agreed.
Isabella looked at them, then back down at her phone. She took a deep breath and nodded.
And that was when music started to play.
“Woah, where’s that coming from?” Wendy asked, looking all around her.
“Oh my gosh! She’s gonna sing! It’s a music number! Ah!” Mabel screamed with excitement.
“♪ Dear, Phineas Flynn, we’ve been way too out of touch. ♪”
The fireside girls nodded, liking where this was going.
“♪ Your life is crazy, and that rocks, but we don’t talk that much. ♪”
Luz gave her two thumbs up.
“♪ But I should tell you your ambition is so grand. ♪”
Wendy smirked at her.
“♪ One day you’ll ride up on a steed and take my hand. ♪”
“Uh, are you really gonna write that?” Holly asked.
“I got carried away,” she admitted. “I have to be honest, but realistic.”
“No, keep it! Let your love run free!” Mabel cheered.
“To be fair, you have ridden horses in the Summer,” Gretchen pointed out.
“Through the mall,” Milly added.
“True,” Isabella agreed. “♪ I gotta tell you, when I’m with you I am… ♪”
“Hot!” Adyson said.
“Hot?” Wendy pulled a face.
“♪ I am… ♪”
“Stunned!” Ginger offered.
“Stunned?” Candace questioned.
“♪ I am… ♪”
There was a bark and everyone turned to see a familiar chihuahua staring up at them.
“Pinky!” the troupe beamed.
“When did he get here?” Stacy wondered.
“♪ I wish you just weren’t always thinking about stuff. ♪”
“Very specific,” Adyson sassed.
“Shut up,” Isabella retorted.
“♪ Your plans are decent… ♪”
“Just decent?” Stacy raised a brow.
“♪ Your plans are awesome, but each day I long for more. ♪”
The others nodded in approval. Jeremy brought a glass of water to his lips.
“♪ Each time you hammer, I imagine what we’ve got in store. ♪”
Jeremy spat out his water. The rest of them weren’t much better.
“You don’t wanna say hammer,” Luz shook her head. Isabella let out a few panicked noises.
“♪ Each time you’re drilling… ♪”
“Drilling?!” all the teens exclaimed.
“♪ Each time you’re building I imagine what we’ve got in store. ♪”
The others sighed in relief.
“♪ I’ll take your advice, do and don’t think twice. I’m telling you now so you can see. ♪”
She then ran outside the cabin with everyone following her. They began to literally dance in the streets.
“♪ All that I need is a little comprehension. I hope it’s not selfish that I want your attention. All I’d like from you, is a sign that you like me equivocally. Sincerely, me. ♪” Isabella finished the text.
“You ready for this?” Luz asked her with a smile.
“I mean, I don’t know. Was it too bold? Not bold enough?”
“It’s perfect, dude,” Wendy encouraged her.
“Send,” Gretchen said, pushing the send button. Isabella yelped at that but it was too late. Phineas now had the confession.
“Come on! Let’s get to the backyard!” Candace grinned, dragging her future sister-in-law by the arm with the same hyperness towards her mother.
In the backyard, Phineas and Ferb turned off their blowtorches and removed their masks.
“The advanced DNA test is all done!” Phineas beamed.
“Wow. Impressive run time,” Polly praised. “But how did you get all those wires to fit into that small of a space?”
“Well, it’s easy. We…” Ferb began, but was cut off by the sound of Phineas’ phone.
The triangle headed boy picked it up to see Isabella’s message. And everyone who was there read over his shoulder.
“Oh my gosh!” Baljeet exclaimed.
“Woah! Way to go, Isabella!” Dipper cheered.
“♪ Dear Isabella, I’m so glad you feel this way. ♪”
Ferb, Buford (he was going by Tough Guy while hidden), Baljeet, Perry, King, Dipper, Polly and the Clawthorne sisters who had just walked in, all grinned at each other. This was it. This was finally it! Phineas and Isabella were gonna get together!
“♪ If you want more, you could help sketch our prints next Saturday. ♪”
Ferb and Perry slapped their faces. Dipper and King looked at the boy flatly. Buford had his face buried in his hand. Polly sighed in annoyance. The Clawthornes blinked at him like he was an idiot.
“I don’t think-” Baljeet tried to say but Phineas wasn’t listening.
“♪ I’m sending pictures from our giant idea book. ♪”
“No!” Buford threw his hand up.
“Come on man,” Dipper pleaded.
“♪ This shrink device could use some spice, so take a look. ♪”
“Wrong kind of spice,” Polly and Buford complained.
““♪ There’s so much to do. All more fun with you… ♪”
Isabella smiled down at the text she was receiving. They could see the house now. They only had…
“♪ And Ferb and Buford and Baljeet. ♪”
“♪ You’re killing me. ♪” Baljeet sang.
It wasn’t just him Phineas was killing. His own sister was banging her head against a lamppost at a speed that matched the rhythm of the song, while her boyfriend tried to console her. And Isabella’s smile turned into a frown.
“♪ ‘Cause all that we need is a little delegation. Your Fireside Girls are the best in our whole nation. So, I’m hearing you, your appreciation is my guarantee. Sincerely, me. ♪” Phineas finished with the others acting as the chorus.
“♪ Your sister’s hot. ♪” Buford sang, absentmindedly.
“What the heck?!” Phineas whirled on him.
“My bad!”
(I had to keep the lyric. I just had to. It was too funny.)
Isabella, with the increasingly frustrated others, opened the gate and walked into the backyard.
“♪ Oh, Phineas Flynn, you and I, we could ascend. ♪”
“♪ Oh, Isabella, I’m just glad to be your friend. ♪”
The two of them began to sing and dance together.
“♪ Our friendship goes beyond… Your average kind of bond. ♪”
“♪ ‘Cause you’re across the street. ♪” Phineas sang.
“♪ ‘Cause I’m… ♪” She stopped and the sound of a record breaking being interrupted could be heard. “Across the street?!”
“♪ We’re close… ♪” they sang together again.
“♪ Like thirty feet. The only friend who lives closer is Baljeet. ♪” Pineas soloed.
Baljeet chuckled sheepishly at the death glare Isabella was giving him.
“♪ Well ain't that neat~. ♪”
“♪ You’re pretty difficult to beat. ♪”
“♪ I’m pretty difficult to beat. ♪” She then smiled. They then moved closer together with each word.
“♪ We’re… ♪”
“♪ …pretty… ♪”
“♪ …diffi… ♪”
“♪ …cult… ♪”
“♪ …to beat ♪” they sang together again.
“♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. ♪” Everyone now sang. “♪ All that we need is a little close reflection. It’s clear that we work well together with affection. All we gotta do is believe we can be who we wanna be. ♪”
“♪ So cheerily… ♪” Phineas sang.
“♪ Bro, she clearly- ♪” Ferb sang with the other guys as his support.
“♪ Sincerely, me. ♪” The two lead singers sang together and held hands.
“♪ Sincerely, me. ♪” Phineas smiled at her before she joined in again.
“♪ Sincerely, me. ♪”
His face moved closer to her’s. Almost like he was going to kiss her…
It was a hug. It was just a hug.
“♪ Sincerely, me. ♪”
The song ended and Isabella decided to just take what she could get, and smiled into the embrace with her eyes shut. This was all for now, and she was fine with that. She’d been waiting since they were little. She could wait a bit longer.
“Whoo hoo! Yeah! Way to go!” Everyone turned to see Anne cheering with Sprig clapping beside her.
“Thanks!” the ones from Danville smiled at the praise.
“Uh, how did we get sucked into that?” Dipper asked, a hand to his forehead.
“I think it’s best to just go with it, Bro-Bro,” his sister rolled her eyes fondly and pushed his hat down a bit.
“You guys here for the rollercoaster?” Phineas asked.
“Yep, but we stayed for the song,” Anne smirked.
“Well, the line’s over there.”
“Awesome! I can’t wait for the death defying danger!”Sprig beamed.
They weren’t the only ones as several other people, most of them hidden figures, got in line for the ride.
“I’m not sure about this, you guys,” one of them pleaded to what looked like their friend group.
“Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!”
“Edalyn?” Lilith tried to get her sister’s attention, who was still staring at Phineas and Isabella. Then to her surprise she laughed.
“Oh, man. That boy really is oblivious.”
“I thought you’d be more frustrated,” Lilith said, confused. “You grew feathers earlier in the theater.”
“Oh, that was just something that broke the griffin’s back,” Eda waved off. “I was already stressed from all this,” she gestured to everything. “Now though, I’m okay with it.”
“If you say so, sister.”
“Hey, boys!” Eda called out. “Is that thing ready yet?”
“It sure is, Miss Eda,” the triangle headed boy answered.
“Okay, first of all, none of that Miss stuff. Just Eda will be fine. And second, let’s get to the bottom of this.”
“I’m all ready to take notes,” Dipper pulled out his Journal and clicked his pen.
“As am I,” Dr. P said.
“Fire it up, Ferb,” Candace smirked.
Ferb pressed a button on the machine and three arms suddenly came out and plucked a hair from each Flynn-Fletcher sibling before retracting back in to analyze them.
“Shouldn’t you sample blood or saliva instead?” Dipper asked.
“This machine is able to analyze DNA on such a scale that that won’t be necessary,” Ferb explained.
“Fascinating,” Ford uttered.
“Now all we need is some Witch DNA for comparison,” Phineas said.
“Here,” Eda pulled out one of her own. “Pretty sure there’s some demon in there too. You never know.”
“Cool.”
The machine then took the hair into itself and beeped for a minute. A paper then printed from it and out came the results.
“Alright, ready to learn if you can do magic like Witches?” Luz asked, holding up the paper.
“Yeah, we are,” Candace beamed. “I wonder what kind of Witch I’ll be.”
Luz looked down at the paper and beamed.
“You guys all have 2% Witch DNA!”
“Yes!” the three cheered.
“What?” Eda and Cool Aunt questioned, much to their confusion. “Luz, let me see that.” Luz handed the results to Eda. “No. No, it should be more than that.”
“What do you mean?” Mabel asked.
“You’re right, it doesn’t make sense,” Cool Aunt said, reading it over her shoulder.
“I’m confused. I thought you said that being descendants of Witches would explain all this stuff about us?” Candace frowned.
“Yeah, but you need more Witch blood than that to do magic,” Eda said, getting frustrated the more she looked at the paper.
“There have been some Human-Witch couples in our history, so we know that 10% is the minimum requirement for one to have a working bile sack,” Lilith explained, also still looking at the paper. “You can’t do magic otherwise.”
“Wait, backup/What?” Mabel and Luz said at the same time.
“Allow me to explain,” Cool Aunt began. She pulled out what appeared to be a staff and images similar to what Eda had cast to explain King’s story were shown to the group. “Long ago there was a stronger connection between our two realms. Witches freely traveled and interacted with humans.”
They could see the Boiling Isles and a human village with several portal doors in between. Witches walked through and shook hands with the villagers. The small audience was in awe at the display of magic and information.
“Some Witches even had children with humans. They either left and lived on the Isles, or stayed and lived in the Human Realm. It was from the DNA of the ones who came to our world that we learned how much Witch blood was needed to have a bile sack. We also learned that the land our ancestors traversed the most, a place called Europe, has the most Witch DNA present.”
“Wait, so you’re saying that anyone of European descent is also related to Witches?” Dipper questioned, writing this stuff down.
“We were able to find out a few centuries ago that each of these Europeans, as you call them, have roughly 2% Witch DNA,” Eda answered for her sister.
“So, what happened?” Luz asked. “Why did Witches stop visiting the Human Realm?”
“Well, it wasn’t your torches and pitchforks. Ha!” Eda laughed before Lilith continued.
“Our history of this era has been lost, but from what scholars have been able to discern, a great threat had overtaken the Isles. So, they destroyed all the portals to protect the Human Realm. We only regained our freedom 1000 years ago, give or take.”
“Dang,” Mabel said in astonishment as the display ended. Then she gasped loudly and grabbed hold of her brother. “Dipper, we have Europeany ancestry! WE HAVE WITCH BLOOD!” She started shaking him at her last words.
“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” the boy beamed once she let him go.
“So, what does all this mean?” Candace asked.
“It means we’re back at square one,” Eda crossed her arms with a sigh. “I thought this would give us answers, but all I have are more questions.”
“What’s this part about high compatibility?” Luz asked as she read the paper again.
“It means that most of our DNA is similar regardless of shared heritage or homosapien forms,” Ferb explained.
“You see?!” Eda threw a hand up, getting frustrated. “It just doesn’t make any sense! How are you able to do things that Witches can, but not have enough of our blood?!”
“Convergent evolution.” Everyone turned to see it was Dr. P who had spoken.
“What’s that?” Mabel asked.
“Evolution can happen in many ways, Mabel,” her Grunkle began. “Sometimes creatures change into various different ones across different places. But there are occasions where two separate organisms, on completely separate continents evolve, in the exact same way.”
“Are you theorizing that humans are evolving to be as powerful as Witches?” Lilith asked, intrigued.
“It’s a possibility,” Ford shrugged. “Perhaps we are evolving to manipulate magic and energy leaking in from other dimensions.”
“I guess we’ll have to leave it there for now,” Eda sighed. Then she grabbed her sister by the arm and pulled her to the line. “Come on. I wanna ride that rollercoaster.”
“Just as long as it is safe, Edalyn.”
“Welp, I better go too. Later, taters!” Luz waved goodbye as she left.
“So, what do you make of that King fellow?” Ford asked the twins, now that they were alone.
“Honestly, Great Uncle Ford, I don’t think he’s Bill or even that connected to him,” Dipper said. “His voice is probably just a coincidence.”
“Or maybe he’s just a variant-thingy,” Mabel offered.
“Huh?” the two nerds questioned.
“Remember how I met all those other versions of me? Even that Anti-Mabel,” she finished with a growl.
Ford growled too, before calming himself down.
“That certainly does make sense,” Ford nodded. “There are infinite versions of ourselves in all shapes, sizes and personalities across the Multiverse. That could very well be it, and we’ve been worried for nothing.”
“He is pretty nice. Sincerely,” Dipper added.
“Well, I think we can move on for now,” Mabel smiled.
“Agreed,” their Grunkle said. “But still remain vigilant just in case. Even though he’s likely harmless now.”
The two nodded and shared a look as their Grunkle left.
“So, what do you wanna do now?” Dipper asked.
“I’m gonna grab my swim suit and head to that beach. You coming?” Mabel answered.
“I was actually thinking about heading over to the Demon Realm to study the-” Mabel cut him off by blowing a raspberry.
“What? You can do nerd things later. Come have fun with me and our new friends!”
“Eh, I don’t know,” he rubbed his arm uncomfortably. “I think I’d just feel out of place.”
“Not on my watch, you won’t.” They turned to see Candace standing over them with her hands on her hips. “This is my kingdom, and there’s no way I’m letting my new friends feel isolated. Come on, man. It’ll be fun,” she smiled at him. “What do you say?”
Dipper bowed his head and thought it over.
I have two options. I can either hang out with my sister and someone who actually gets me… or go research another world.
He looked down at his Journal and then back up at Candace and Mabel.
“Canon ball!” Mabel cried in joy as she jumped into the water of the beach. She made a big splash that washed all over Candy, Grenda, Dipper and Soos, eliciting laughs from them all.
“Oh, this is way more fun!” Dipper cheered.
“I told you, Dippin Dots!” Mabel laughed. Her brother responded by splashing some water in her face.
“Water fight!” Candy shouted and the group began splashing water at each other, laughing the whole time.
Candace smiled from her chair on the shore. She was garbed in her outfit from the beach episode.
“Ah, I’m a good Queen,” she sighed. Then she looked down at the pen and paper in her hand and hummed in thought. “Which key would only he think of?” The redhead wondered. “Hey, Dipper! How old are you and Mabel?”
“13! Why?” Dipper responded. Unfortunately, he turned all his attention on Candace, and his sister took advantage of it. The young teen picked up a bucket, filled it up with water from a wave, and poured it all on Dipper’s head. Even Candace laughed at the action.
“No reason.” Now having an answer to her question, she began to write. She put down the pen and examined her work with a grin.
“I think that’ll do the trick.”
“Whatcha got there?” she turned to see Jeremy walking over to her. She quietly explained her plan and her boyfriend laughed. “I think he’ll love it. Now,” he offered her his hand. “May I have this dance, my Queen?”
Candace giggled and took it.
“You may.”
The couple left for the dance floor hand in hand. Not too far away, another couple walked through the sand, also holding hands.
“Looks like we’re having our own beach episode,” Luz smiled as she put down a towel. Amity giggled and sat next to her.
“How can you tell?”
“Well, for starters, everyone’s in bathing suits. Next, someone should get hit by a beach ball.”
Robbie was sitting down not too far away playing his guitar with Tambry listening with a loving smile and her head resting in her hand. His serenade was cut off by a beach ball hitting him in the face.
“Sorry!” Thompson called out.
“Check,” Amity smirked.
“People getting buried in the sand in a funny way,” Luz added.
“You’re supposed to bury everything but the head!” Baljeet exclaimed from the hole he sat in as Buford shoveled sand into it.
“Agree to disagree,” the bully said. “Don’t worry, I’ll dig you out. Eventually.”
“Check,” Luz snickered. “And of course, ship teasing!”
“Really? Who?” Amity’s face was turned by her girlfriend to see Willow watching Hunter swimming in the water. “Oh~,” she smirked. “This’ll be interesting.”
“Nice one, Gus!” Hunter cheered as Gus expertly surfed a big wave.
“Hey!” Willow called out to him.
“This is it, Hunter,” he breathed in and closed his eyes. “Act cool.”
“Shark!” the plant Witch screamed.
Hunter turned around to see a shark fin poking out of the water and heading straight for him.
“AHHHHHH!” the Grimwalker screamed and swam faster than he ever had before.
“I’ll save you!”
After a minute, everyone was back on the shore. Hunter sat down with Gus patting him on the shoulder in comfort. The “shark” turned out to be Hooty wearing a fake fin. Willow had him tied up in vines, staring him down sternly. But that didn’t stop the bird tube from laughing hysterically.
“My life flashed before my eyes, and it was sad and lonely,” Hunter stared off into space.
“Yup, beach episode!” Luz chirped brightly. (Inspired by a MoringMarkugh comic) Then she gave her girlfriend a sly smile. “Wanna go make out in the waves?”
Amity’s whole face went bright red and all she could do was nod dumbly.
“Sprig?! Has anyone seen Sprig?!" Everyone turned to see Anne speeding towards them. “I can’t find him anywhere!”
“Where was the last place you saw him?” Willow asked.
“We’d just gotten off the rollercoaster, super fun by the way, then I turned around for one minute and he’s gone!”
“Sprig? Oh, hey! He was just here,” Phineas answered, marching over with Ferb. “He and Polly wanted to know more about our race car. So we told them and a few other disguised people how we put it all together.”
“Then what happened?” Anne asked, a chill running down her spine. If Sprig and Polly were asking about the race car, then that only meant bad things would follow.
“Well, they wanted to try it out, so we gave them the remote and told them where the race track is.”
There was a long moment of silence where Anne just stared at the boys blankly. Then she bolted off.
“SPRIG!”
“The race track’s that way,” Ferb pointed to the opposite direction.
“SPRIG!” Anne yelled again, now running past them in the right way.
Speaking of the pink frog, Sprig hopped out of the bathroom at the track with a grin.
“How do I look?” He now wore a racer’s outfit.
“Heh heh. You look very handsome,” Ivy giggled.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ally asked.
“Yeah, we’re not sure how a frog can handle the high speeds,” Jess added with her own concerned look.
“Don’t worry, guys. This can only be fun,” Sprig countered. “Right, Polly?”
“As long as I’m using this controller, you’ll be fine,” his sister nodded. “Man, this thing’s as big as me. I feel powerful. HA HA HA HA!” she cackled maniacally. “How we doing there, Mechanic?”
Alador slid out from underneath the car and wiped the sweat from his brow.
“The brakes are good, so I think we’re ready to go.”
“Whoo hoo!” Sprig cheered and jumped into the driver’s seat. “Start her up, Polly!”
“Aw, heck yeah!” Polly pushed a button and the car turned on with the engine roaring. The tadpole grabbed the joystick and wasted no time in speeding her brother across the track.
“OH YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! THIS IS SO MUCH FUUUUUUN!” Sprig cheered at the top of his lungs.
They did a few laps around the are, the Planter siblings enjoying every minute of it.
“SPRIG!”
Until they didn’t.
“Uh oh. Heh, Bro? We’ve got a problem,” Polly said into her headset.
“What problem?”
“SPRIG!”
“Oh,” the pink frog blanched. “That problem.”
“YOU CAN’T DO THIS FOREVER, SPRIG!”
“Get me out of here!”
“Hold on.”
Polly then piloted the car to drive through the barriers and off the track.
“Whew! Thanks, Polly.”
“Anytime, Bro.”
“Ooh! I just saw a park filled with delicious looking crickets! Do you mind turning me around?”
“Sure thing.” Polly pulled the stick.
“Hey, uh… still waiting to turn around.”
“What?” the six-year-old then blanched. “Uh oh.”
“Sensing something wrong here.”
“You’re out of range!”
“And that means?” Sprig asked, getting nervous.
“It means you’re gonna have to drive it yourself!” Polly panicked.
“What?!”
A bunch of pedestrians began to cross the street. He responded by frantically turning the steering wheel. This only made things worse and he spun around, crashing into the replicants of Danville residents. One even hit his windshield. After the guy fell off, Sprig saw that he was heading right for a building.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
Back at the track, Anne pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily.
“I hope Sasha and Marcy are having a better time.”
Let’s find out!
The remaining members of the Calamity Trio marched through the streets of Bonesborough in wonder. Well, Marcy was looking at everything in wonder. Sasha kept a hand on one of her swords, and looked around warily, never lowering her guard.
“This place is amazing!” Marcy squealed.
“I have to admit, it’s pretty cool,” Sasha nodded with a smile. Though it went away a moment later when a lamp post spoke to them in gibberish, and she gripped her sword even tighter. Marcy frowned and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey. We’re supposed to be trying. Remember?”
“Yeah. Right,” she simply nodded, her mood not improving.
Marcy frowned some more but then smiled as an idea popped in her head. Suddenly, music started playing.
“Huh? Where’s that coming from?”
“Just go with it,” Marcy smiled. “♪ You can relax my friend. ♪”
“Huh?”
“♪ I can tell you’re getting nervous, so do yourself a service, and try to relax, my friend. ♪” Marcy put her hands on the blonde’s shoulders.
“♪ I’m fine, Marcy. ♪” Sasha found herself singing as she avoided her friend’s gaze.
She tried to keep walking but Marcy responded by gently tugging on her collar to pull her back.
“♪ Think of all that we have been through. We’ll survive what we get into.”
She then grabbed her arm and dragged her further into the town.
“♪ I know that you’re tired of the war and bloodshed. Tell me, is this how we’re supposed to live?”
Marcy raised the arm that was resting on Sasha’s arm to her face.
“♪ Look at how you grip your sword, enough said. Why should we take what we take what we could give? ♪”
She then lowered the appendage and got in her friend’s face.
“♪ You can show a person that you trust them when you stop and lower your guard. Here we have a chance for some adjustment. Give it a try, it’s not that hard. I’m telling you…”
Marcy let go of her and started twirling around.
“♪ …This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms. Whatever we face, we’ll be fine if we’re leading from the heart. No matter the place, we can light up the world. Here’s how to start… ♪”
She stopped twirling and opened her arms wide.
“♪ Greet the word with open arms. Greet the world with open arms. ♪”
“Welcome,” several demons and Witches greeted as they got closer to the duo.
Sasha responded by getting in front of Marcy and drawing her sword, with one arm wrapped around her as they stood back to back.
“Stay back!” she barked.
“Stay back,” the locals repeated in unison.
“♪ My friend, greet the world with open arms, ♪” Marcy chidded in song.
Sasha glanced at her and hesitated. Then she turned back to the group with less hostility than before. But still quite hostile.
“♪ We’re only here for food ♪”
“Food.”
“♪ Several friends are waiting for us to show our faces. ♪”
The crowd began to move around.
“Food. ”
“♪ Stay back, I’m warning you. ♪”
“Food.”
“Nom nom nom.”
“♪ If we don’t get back safely, my men will turn this place into blazes– ♪”
“Here you go.”
The Witches and demons offered them a basket filled with food. Sasha blinked at the sight while Marcy beamed brightly.
“See?!” Marcy then began to dance with the locals while Waybright looked through the food.
“♪ This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms. Whatever we face, we’ll be fine if we’re leading from the heart. No matter the place, we can light up the world. Here’s how to start… ♪”
The girl picked up a strange glowing fruit. Sasha narrowed her eyes at another of the same fruit she was holding. After a moment she blanched at it.
“♪ Greet the word with open arms. Greet the world with open arms. ♪”
Just as she was bringing the fruit to her lips, Sasha smacked it out of her hands.
“♪ My friend, I wish that I could say that I agree. But look at the way this fruit is glowing and filled with glowing seeds. ♪”
She ripped the fruit open to show just that.
“♪ It took me a while to notice just what kind of fruit they eat. It’s poisonous. It could control your mind and never let you free. ♪”
Waybright tossed the fruit to the ground and crossed her arms and looked down with a sad frown.
“♪ That's what we’d get with open arms. ♪”
Marcy’s heart sank at that and she turned to the locals again.
“♪ Witches and demons, I’d like to show my friend that kindness is brave. Could you tell me where there’s food humans can eat? ♪”
“Some eggs,” the group answered.
“Eggs!” Marcy exclaimed, remembering what Luz said earlier, causing Sasha to perk up.
♪ Luz said griffin eggs are safe to eat. And where do we go to find these griffin eggs? ♪”
“East, that way,” the group answered, pointing to a small cafe down the street.
“Thank you.”
“Welcome.”
She turned back to Sasha and approached her with a soft sympathetic look.
“♪ This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms. I see in your face, there is so much guilt inside your heart. So why not replace it and light up the world? Here’s how to start… ♪”
Marcy pulled her long time friend into a tight hug.
“♪ Greet the word with open arms. Greet the world with open arms. ♪”
“♪ Greet the word with open arms. ♪” Sasha sang back.
“♪ You can relax, my friend, ♪” Marcy finished the song, nuzzling her with closed eyes and a big smile.
Sasha hesitated before closing her own eyes and returning the embrace with a soft smile of her own. The two stood like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s company without a care in the world.
Eventually though, Marcy noticed something.
“Did you gain some muscle while we were separated?”
“Oh, yeah. Fighting in a revolution will do that to you. Just look at my bicep gain,” Sasha smirked. She pulled her right arm back and flexed it. Her muscles bulged out a bit and Marcy stared, a red blush now covering her cheeks.
“W-Wow! That’s pretty cool.”
“I know, right? And I’m not the only one. Anne’s got some too.”
“A-Anne?! Anna Banana has some muscles?! R-Really?”
“Oh, yeah. And I gotta say, they are really doing her some favors,” Sasha smirked. Marcy’s blush deepened, causing her to frown in confusion. “You okay, Marbles? You’re getting kinda flushed there.”
“Oh! Yes! I’m fine! I just need to use the restroom! I’ll be right back!” She then ran inside the cafe and into said restroom, leaving a confused Sasha to get their table.
The Taiwanese girl turned on the faucet and immediately started splashing water in her face. After she was done with that she took a few long and deep breaths. Then she looked at her reflection in the mirror.
“Get a grip on it, Wu. There’s no way they feel the same. Besides, you don’t have enough time with them left. No point in starting something that’s just going to end,” she frowned sadly.
She took one more final breath and left the room with a smile.
At least I can enjoy this.
The Flynn-Fletcher brothers and their friends, plus Perry, landed with their jetpacks shutting off as their feet hit the ground of Wartwood.
“Here we are, gang! Amphibia!” Phineas beamed.
“Wow,” Isabella smiled.
“Seeing this town is one thing, but to actually stand in it is incredible!” Baljeet exclaimed. “Just think of the good grade I can get from doing a project on it!”
“Do you think about anything other than grades?” Buford asked.
“I think about Space Adventure.”
“Not much better.”
“Hey, look!” Phineas began before they could argue further. They turned to see he was pointing at the Potluck, where there were two familiar faces. “It’s Mr. Plantar and Dr. D!”
“Oh, hey kids!” the two adults waved as the friend group walked up to the table.
“We’re just adding the final touches to our entrees in the Potluck,” Hop Pop explained, sprinkling some spices on his… meal. “And I’m gonna win this time.”
The kids tried there best to hide their disgust at the odor of the Plantar food.
“Don’t get your hopes up, Plantar,” Doof countered with a grin. “This is my Great-Grandma Gretel’s family meatloaf. It has a special ingredient that never fails. Hate!”
“Hate?” Isabella questioned, tilting her head.
“I know it’s usually love, but Great-Grandma Gretel had some issues.”
“Ha! Hate?” Hop Pop laughed. “There’s no way you’re gonna win with that.”
“First prize goes to the meatloaf,” the replica of Toadstool said, placing the blue ribbon on Heinz’s dish.
“Say what?!”
“Yes! I won!”
“Congratulations, Dr. D!” Phineas grinned. Perry smiled at his friend and gave him a thumbs up.
“But how?!” Hop Pop exclaimed with some despair.
“Have a bite,” Heinz said, offering him a fork.
Hopediah sighed and scooped some of the meatloaf with the fork and placing it in his mouth. The frog’s eyes widened and he gasped after swallowing it.
“This is delicious!”
“Told you!”
“Do you mind if I have this?”
“Please,” Doofenshmirtz gave him the rest of the dish. Planter then began munching on the meal while taking a few sips of some gourd tea he had with him. “That tea is another one of your family recipes, right?”
“Sure is. It’s right here,” the frog showed him the page in the book.
“Fascinating.” Hop Pop heard a clicking sound and looked to see that Doof was holding a phone.
“Did you just take a picture of my family recipe?!” he angrily shouted.
Heinz just smirked at him and placed a wad of cash in his hand.
“I’m sure you can let me borrow it.”
“Oh, absolutely!” Hop Pop beamed, putting the money in his wallet. Heinz turned around to see Perry had his arms crossed and was frowning at him.
“Oh, don’t be so judgmental, Perry the Platypus. By the way, I’ll be ready for our session with King in about two hours. Think the little guy’s ready for a little sparry match?”
Perry’s frown disappeared and he nodded with a grin.
“Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever volunteered to be pummeled before. But hey, I guess it really is just our thing. Well, see you later, Perry the Platypus,” the scientist waved before turning to leave. The kids just blinked at the whole exchange.
“Well, that happened,” Baljeet said.
“You kids wanna come see my farm?” Hop Pop offered.
“Sure,” Isabella answered with the others agreeing. They all soon arrived at the farm and marveled at all the various plants and livestock.
“Wow, look at the size of these vegetables,” Phineas beamed, holding up a measuring tape.
“Yep. Nothing like growing a good vegetable,” Hop Pop sighed. “The one thing in life that gives back what you put in.”
“HOP POP!” They all turned to see Anne charging in with Polly on her shoulder.
“We have a… situation,” Polly said cryptically.
“What happened?! Where’s Sprig?! Is he dead?!”
“Not yet. But he will be when I catch him,” Anne growled.
“What’d he do this time?” the grandfather sighed.
“HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Sprig cried as he “drove” through the farm, crashing into the fence and moving onwards.
“What in tarnation?! I told him he wasn’t ready for that thing!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
“Do you have the remote?” Ferb asked. He got his answer in the form of Polly holding up the broken controller.
“It got smashed when we tried to stop him earlier. And now it’s locked in an unstoppable acceleration.”
“He appears to be heading for Bonesborough,” Baljeet observed through a pair of binoculars.
“Perry, you go do your thing with Dr. D and King. We’ll help Sprig,” Phineas decided quickly. The platypus gave him an ‘Are you sure?’ look. “We’ve waited this long to hang out with the real you. We can wait a bit longer.”
Perry smiled at him before taking off in his jetpack back to Danville
“♪ Agent P! ♪”
“Okay, I think I see what Eda’s talking about. Where does that come from?” Isabella questioned.
“No time! We gotta save Sprig!” Boonchuy cut in.
“Then hold tight and we’ll fly over there,” Phineas said.
And so they split up. One group heading into the Demon Realm, while the other returned to his own. And speaking of Danville, King was conversing with a friend of his in the Backyard.
“I don’t get it, King. Why do you wanna learn to fight like the little blue guy?” the Collector asked.
“Did you see the way he beat that scientist? It was epic!” King beamed, his tail wagging as he sat in the grass. “Just think what I could do if I learn from him.”
“But you’re already super powerful. Why do you need to learn to punch and kick?”
“My powers are still growing, Collector. And I’m still pretty small. But so is Perry. So learning to fight like a true warrior is a great idea. Like my dad!”
“Ah, right. Your dad,” the child of the stars said with a frown. He looked away from his friend and seemed to stare off into space, causing King to wince.
“Do you… wanna talk about it?”
The Collector sighed.
“I don’t know how to feel,” they admitted after a minute. “Your dad locked me away for a really long time. But he thought he was doing the right thing. He just wanted to protect you. I don’t know if I should be mad at him or not. It’d be easier if I could talk to him, but…”
“Yeah,” King slumped. The Titan stared at his paws for a minute before looking back up at his friend. “Luz told me a few things about when she met him,” he began, gaining the Collector’s attention. “She told me that he seemed sorry for what he did to you.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” The Collector was silent. “Maybe you don’t have to feel either?”
“Huh?” The kid looked at him, puzzled.
“It was a long time ago and you’re out now. Everyone from back then is now gone. So maybe the best thing to do is move on and start again.”
The immortal being looked on thoughtfully before smiling at his friend.
“You’re a good friend, King.”
“Thanks, Buddy.”
“Well, I hope you have fun fighting that weird guy. I think I’m gonna go to the frog place. BYEEEE!” And he flew off.
It was then that Perry landed right where the Collector had been.
“You’re here!” King beamed, wagging his tail in joy. Perry smirked at him and set the jetpack down. “So, where do we start? Punching practice? Kickboxing? Mountain climbing?”
The platypus walked up to the tree and pushed a button in the bark. King gasped upon seeing the secret door.
“An entrance to your hideout! We get to go there?” He tittered gleefully at Perry’s nod.
The two stepped in one at a time and slid down into the hidden room. King couldn’t help but look around in awe. Seeing it on the screen was one thing, but standing in the actual place was a whole new experience.
Perry walked up to his chair and sat down. Suddenly, a smaller and shorter seat rose up from the floor right next to his. King wasted no time in scampering to the seat, and sat down with his new mentor. That was when the screen buzzed and Major Monogram came into view.
“Good morning, Agent P. Afternoon really. And welcome aboard to our new trainee.”
“Excited to be here!”
“As I’m sure you know, Doofenshmirtz has been spotted in Amphibia. He’s traveled to Wartwood as well as the mountains. He’s gathered 400 tons of groceries and something else we couldn’t see in the mountains.”
“What could be building with stuff from Amphibia?” the little guy wondered.
“We don’t know, but whatever it is, put a stop to it. Oh, and here’s your hat.”
The computer opened up and a small table came out, a fedora with a yellow band resting on it. King gasped and quickly put the hat on his head. It sat right in front of his horns and covered enough of the scalp to feel comfortable and stay on.
“How do I look?”
Perry responded with a proud smile and gave him a thumbs up.
“Good luck, Agent P. And you too, Trainee King.”
“Trainee King?” the Clawthorne questioned.
“Well, you’re not an actual agent yet. You still need to go through the basic training. Hence the yellow band. We’re also not exactly sure what to classify you as, so we’re just gonna call you King for now.”
“Eh. It works,” King shrugged.
The two then hopped onto Perry’s glider and took off out of the lair.
“Ah, the hopeful faces on new recruits. Always warms my heart,” Monogram smiled, a tear falling from his eye.
The mentor and mentee soared through the skies of Danville before they spotted a familiar building.
“♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪”
“Have to admit, the man knows his jingles.”
The two landed on the balcony and marched inside to see Heinz placing a tarp over what must have been the Inator.
“Perry the Platypus. And the King of Demons. Welcome! Make yourselves at home!” the scientist greeted. “Can I get you anything? Lemonade, veggie dip, A TRAP?!”
He pulled out a remote from his lab coat and pressed a button. Suddenly several robot arms came from the ceiling and floor, taking hold of their limbs and raising them a few feet off the ground. Even their tails were held down for good measure.
Heinz let out a loud laugh at the sight before wiping away a tear.
“Oh boy, have I missed that,” he sighed happily. “Even though we literally did this last night, but still! And now we have a new member to our little get togethers. So, first time being trapped, what do you think?”
“Eh…” King tried to pull himself free to no avail. “At least the last time I was captured I could still move. So, points for this I guess.”
“I’ll take it!” His grin grew sinister as he stepped towards them. “Now, it is time for me to explain why we are here. But first, would you mind if I performed a musical number?” he asked, his sinister look completely disappearing. “Cause I’d like to know if you’d want that or not before we get started.”
The two heroes shared a look and shrugged.
“Knock yourself out, man.”
Hdqnl vwduhg dw wkh vfuhhq jlgglob dv klv vrq dqg whdfkhu hqwhuhg Grrihqvkpluwc’v exloglqj. Klv wdlo zdv hyhq zdjjlqj.
“Dkkdkd! Pb vrq’v iluvw plvvlrq! L’p vr surxg!”
“Krz orqj gr brx wklqn lw zloo wdnh wkhp wr vwrs klp?” wkh Jxdugldq vplunhg.
“Ilyh plqxwhv, jlyh ru wdnh,” wkh Darorwo mrnhv.
“L’p uljkw khuh brx nqrz,” Khlqc iurzqhg dw wkhp, fdxvlqj doo wkuhh wr odxjk.
“Frph rq, Khlqc. Brx brxuvhoi duh d sduhqw, brx nqrz L’p jrlqj wr hqmrb wklv qr pdwwhu zkdw,” wkh Wlwdq vplunhg.
“L nqrz,” Grri vljkhg. “Orrnv olnh wkhb’uh vwduwlqj wr ohduq pruh derxw wkhlu klvwrub. Krz orqj gr brx wklqn lw’oo eh ehiruh wkhb uhdolch wkh hadfw uhdvrq iru wkhlu delolwlhv?”
“Qrw vxuh,” Hdqnl vkuxjjhg. “Frxog eh gdbv. Frxog eh d zhhn. Doo L nqrz iru vxuh lv wkdw zkhq wkhb gr ilqg rxw, lw zloo eulqj wkhp forvhu wrjhwkhu. Hvshfldoob zkhq wkhb ohduq wkdw Slqhv’ kdyh wkh vdph wklqj.”
Notes:
That's right, people! Not only is this reaction story unique because it has Phineas and Ferb... BUT IT'S ALSO A MUSICAL!!!!
Feel free to recommend any songs that could work! Broadway, a cover of songs from these cartoons or other ones, it doesn't matter! I will hear your suggestions and seriously consider them.
Also, that first song was from the Musical Without a Cool Acronym. And the second was "Open Arms" from Epic the Musical. It's absolutely fantastic, I hope you go check it out. Every song is lyrical gold! Here are the links so you can properly experience them:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6ia5QFwV1I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiaNekenThUSo, what are your theories on the real reason for what's happening to the Flynn-Fletchers? I'd love to hear them. Cause while they do have Witch ancestry, that's NOT the reason.
What are your predictions for Doof's plan or what will happen to everyone else in the next chapter?
Do you think I should introduce Monogram and Carl earlier than Where's Perry? It's something I've been wondering for a few months now. If so, when?
How'd you enjoy my little but not so little Sashannarcy tease?
One last thing before I go. I've started two new Gravity Falls stories that I'd like you all to check out. Here are the links:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58476580/chapters/148963552
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58757437/chapters/149735416Normally I'd give my Mandalorian farewell, but all this Gravity Falls stuff right now makes me want to try something new...
THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM. REALITY IS AN ILLUSION. BUY GOLD. BYEEEE!
Chapter 10: We'll Stand Together
Notes:
Two years ago today, the fandom lost a true friend. Rest in Peace, Flapjack. You brave and loyal bird.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The door to Doof’s lab opened and his daughter walked in.
“Hey, Dad. I’m just here to get my hiking boots for the woods.” She came to a stop when she rounded the corner and saw that Perry and King were trapped. “Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all! Come in! Ooh! You can watch my musical number!” Heinz smiled brightly.
“Sure,” she shrugged and sat down in a nearby chair, resting her feet on a foot stool and crossing her arms. Her father turned back to his prisoners and grinned.
“Ah, you know I just love seeing how annoyed you are when you get trapped, Perry the Platypus. And you too, King the Demon. That actually has a lot to do with my plan for today.”
“Oh really?” King questioned flatly.
The music began to play.
“♪ Right now you are down and out, and feeling real unhappy. ♪”
“I'll say,” the demon rolled his eyes.
“♪ And when I see how sad you are, It sort of makes me… happy. ♪”
“Weh?”
“Happy?” his daughter questioned. Perry also had a look of confusion on his face.
“♪ Sorry buddy, human nature. Nothing I can do. It's schadenfreude. Making me feel glad that I'm not you. ♪”
“Well, that's not very nice, Dad,” his daughter chastised.
“I didn't say it was nice, but everybody does it,” Heinz smirked.
“♪ D'ya ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses? ♪”
“Yeah,” King shrugged.
“♪ And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters fall and lose the masses? ♪”
“Sure.”
“♪ Don't ya feel all warm and cozy watchin' people out in the rain? That's schadenfreude. People taking pleasure in your pain. ♪”
“Schadenfreude? What's that, some kinda Nazi word?” Vanessa asked with a raised brow.
“Yup! It's German for 'Happiness at the misfortune of others'!”
“'Happiness at the misfortune of others'. That is German,” she nodded.
“♪ Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken, ♪” her dad sang.
“♪ Or watching a bad boy realize just what he put his time in, ♪” she sang, recalling her father’s student that betrayed him.
“♪ Being on an elevator when somebody shouts, 'Hold the door!' ♪”
“No!” they said together.
“♪Schadenfreude. ♪” Vanessa got up from her chair and sang the lyrics with him.
“♪ No way, lady. That's what stairs are for, ♪” he finished, grinning proudly at her.
“Ooh, how about… ♪ Straight A student getting B's. ♪” King threw it out there. He was watching the number excitedly, bobbing his head to the beat while Perry just rolled his eyes. The father and daughter were grinning at each other, singing one lyric after another. First her, then him.
“♪ Exes eating moldy cheese. ♪”
“♪ Waking doormen from their naps. ♪”
“♪ Watching tourists reading maps. ♪”
“♪ Football players getting tackled. ♪”
“♪ CEO's getting shackled. ♪”
“♪ Watching actors never reach… ♪”
“♪ …The ending of their Oscar speech. ♪” Heinz and his daughter sang together. Then he wrapped an arm around her. “♪ Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. ♪”
Heinz pointed at King and Perry before singing again.
“♪ The world needs people like you and he, who've been knocked around by fate. 'Cause when people see you, they don't wanna be you, and that makes them feel great. You provide a vital service to society, you and he. ♪”
The two began to sing again.
“♪ Schadenfreude. Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place. Making the world a better place… ♪”
“…To be. ♪” King finished.
“♪ S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E. ♪”
The Doofenshmirtz’s hugged each other afterward. Then she kissed him on the cheek.
“Alright, I better grab my boots and head out. That Wendy girl’s giving us a tour of the woods.”
“Stay safe out there, okay? And stay away from gnomes.”
“I will,” she nodded and left the room.
“That’s totally his daughter, right?” King asked.
“Now, Perry the Platypus and King the Demon, I bet you are wondering just what I am planning. Well, I’ll tell you!” Heinz grinned sinisterly before pulling away the tarp to reveal what looked like a large flying saucer. “Behold! The Atmospheric Vapor Inator!” The music that played at every release of an Inator played. “You see, I have taken inspiration from weather machines built in the late 2000’s. And soon, with the power of zapapedes,” he opened a hatch to reveal an area filled with the electric bugs. “I will take it to the skies and release a vapor that will create chaos to everyone below. What is this vapor, you may ask…” He pressed a button and part of the aircraft opened up to reveal massive barrels of bubbling green liquid. “Gourd Tea!”
King gasped loudly and Perry’s eyes widened.
“Once the Atmospheric Vapor Inator transforms this powerful liquid into a gas, it will descend upon the unsuspecting population and give them all hallucinations. And while everyone is distracted by the chaos, I will take over the Tri-Realm Area! Hey, it’s growing on me.”
“You’ve gone mad!” King exclaimed.
“Aw, everyone will be fine in a few hours. Anne and Hop Pop were. And I think it’s crazy enough to work.”
“You’ll never get away with this, Doofenshmirtz,” King growled with narrowed eyes.
“I think I will,” Heinz said smugly and tapped King’s snout before leaning in close. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”
CHOMP!
King bit him on the nose.
“OWWWWWW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!” Doof recoiled and held his nose in pain, making Perry smirk.
“We gotta get out of this trap.” King tugged on the arms but it was no use. Perry then pointed up at him. “Huh?” He looked up to see his horn was close to one of the arms.
King immediately started bashing his horn against the robot arm. It broke apart after a few hits, freeing his own right arm. The little guy then pulled himself free and hopped to the ground. Perry took off his watch with the same hand, activated the laser, and cut his trap apart. Now that they were free, they stared down at t Doofenshmirtz that was glaring at them.
“You won’t be stopping me today!”
“Let’s get him!” King started running only to see that Perry just stood there. “Come on, he’s right there.”
Perry chattered in response.
“I believe he said that he wants to see how you fight first,” Heinz said.
“Really? Okay.” The Titan then got in his fighting stance. “Feet together. Back straight. Inhale. Now take all that repressed anger from being picked on, called a munchkin, and being mistaken as a teddy bear.” King was shaking in anger now, causing the other two to look at him warily. “Let it all out in a blast of fire so hot it will melt the bones of your enemies! Now fight!” he screamed and charged on all fours at the scientist in furry.
If this were a movie or show, this would be the kind of shot where he leaves the view but Perry remains. And that’s how it would be described too because the things Perry saw the little guy do to his nemesis were too painful to list. The Platypus continuously winced in sympathy as Doofenshmirtz howled in pain from King’s primal thrashings.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Ow! Ow! OWWWWWW! PERRY THE PLATYPUS! HELP ME!”
King was now on top of Heinz’s head, pulling on his hair. The poor man was covered in scratches and bite marks.
That was when they both fell into the aircraft. They must have bumped into the constrolls because it started to take off. Perry’s eyes widened and ran in just before they flew out of the building.
All in all, it was another day ending in Y for the Platypus.
“Ugh!” Eda groaned as she banged her head against the bar counter. “Give me apple blood. Hard.” The bartender gave her a box and she drank it through the straw, not bothering to lift her head up.
“Eda? Are you okay?” Raine asked, gently placing their hand on her back and rubbing it.
“Don’t worry about me, Rainestorm,” she sighed with a smile.
“Don’t tell me not to worry,” they smiled back.
“I’m just confused,” the Owl Lady admitted. “This whole thing with those human kids just doesn’t make any sense.”
“I have to agree with you, Edalyn,” Lilith said from beside them. “It defies everything we know.”
Eberwolf chattered.
“He makes a good point,” Darius nodded. “We don’t know everything about this situation.”
“How much do you actually know about us?” Camila questioned. The Witches looked at each other for a moment.
“Not much, to be honest,” Raine was the one to answer.
“Well, you are right to be confused. Lord knows I am,” the Noceda sighed.
“Perhaps what that Dr. P said holds merit. Humans could be evolving to manipulate energies such as magic like we can,” Lilith suggested.
“But how?” Eda stressed. “We can’t do that without a bile sack, but they can? It doesn’t make sense.”
The others were silent as they thought this over. They were cut off in their musing as Alador walked in with a tired look. He sat down next to Darius and sighed.
“I need a drink.”
“What happened to you?” the former Abomination Head Witch questioned.
“That happened,” Blight thumbed out the window and they turned to see the race car speeding down the street with the kids from Danville and the Plantars chasing after it.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
“Hang on, dude! We’re coming!” Anne called out.
“Is Sprig driving the race car?” Wit asked from her and Strength’s table. That was the name Sasha was going by.
“Yep,” the blonde sighed. “We better go help them.” The two stood up and ran out of the cafe, leaving the others to stare at the scene.
“What did you do?” Darius asked flatly.
“I did some maintenance on that thing so the frog kid could ride in it safely.”
“You absolute idiot!”
“Hey, all I did was check the breaks! Not my fault that the remote broke and they can’t use them.”
“You seriously didn’t take that into consideration?!”
“Don’t expect me to know everything about human technology!”
“You’re the one who built an army of those disgusting machines based on human technology, you hack!”
“Oh, I’m a hack?! You’re the one who turned your hair into goo! Baldy!”
“It’s simply for aesthetic purposes! I am not bald!”
“What’s happening right now?” Camila quietly asked the rest of the group.
“We honestly don’t know,” Raine said.
“They’ve been like this for twenty years,” Lilith added.
Camila eyed the two witches curiously as they continued to argue. But before she could think more on the matter, she heard the beep of a text from her phone. She pulled it out and took a moment to read it over.
“Just got a text from Luz. She and the kids are going on a tour of the Gravity Falls woods with the Twins and Wendy. She’s asking if we want to come.”
The others paused to consider it. Darius and Alador even stopped arguing.
“Where do they want to meet?” Raine asked.
“The arcade.”
Eda just groaned, her face still buried in the counter.
“Well, Edalyn, it looks like you have two choices,” Lilith began. “You can either keep wallowing here in frustration, or you can come with me to learn more about the Human Realm.”
Eda looked up at her sister, who was looking down at her with a smug grin.
“Fine,” she sighed. “May as well.”
As this went on, a few human kids and a frog family tried to save Sprig from his sheer recklessness.
“HELLLLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“Hang on, buddy! We’re coming!” Anne called out.
“How do we stop it?” Hop Pop asked.
“He has to do it manually. But the problem is…” Phineas began.
“He can’t reach the pedals!” Polly finished.
“So what do we do?!”
“One of us needs to fly to the window and…” Baljeet started to explain.
“I’m on it!” Buford said before flying close to the car.
“Wait!” his friends called out but it was no use. The bully had already flown in close to the driver’s window on his jetpack and reached for the handle.
“Tough Guy! Look out!” he heard Anne warn him. He looked up to see that they were now in the market and heading right for one of the stands.
“AAAAHHH!” Buford screamed as he crashed into it.
“BUFORD!” his friends cried.
The boy sat up completely fine.
“I’m okay. I landed on all this cheese.” He held a piece of cheese up to make his point.
“That’s some good luck, right there,” Hopediah nodded.
“But my jetpack is wrecked,” Buford complained, looking down at the destroyed jetpack.
“Is it okay if we…” Anne began.
“I’m gouda be fine. Just go!”
“Is that a cheese pun?”
“Yes.”
“Ooh, well done/Bravo/He’s very good at those,” the kids praised.
They flew off after the car again, chasing it all the way to Hexside. The doors were suddenly opened by Principle Bump, whose face was stuffed in a book.
“Ugh! I’ll have to restaff so many positions when we get back. Perhaps if I convinced a few of the Coven Heads?”
He finally looked up and let out a scream as the race car drove up the stairs and into the school. Everyone else stopped outside and could hear the sounds of things breaking.
And there was a lot.
“How much damage could one race car do to Hexside?” Anne asked.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” Baljeet waved off.
“Yeah, how much destruction could one frog cause?” Phineas questioned rhetorically. The Plantars shared a flat look at his words. The car then came back out and zoomed past them. “See? Everything’s fine.”
A loud cracking sound was heard and the school collapsed into rubble.
Everyone’s jaws dropped and they just stared at it.
“It’s just a replica. It’s just a replica,” Bump told himself to sooth his fears.
“Which way did he go?” Polly asked.
“I think it was towards the Owl House,” Isabella said.
“And the BOILING SEA?!” Anne exclaimed. The group gasped and immediately flew in that direction.
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Sprig screamed as the Boiling Sea came into view.
“Hang on Sprig!” Anne, Polly and Hop Pop shouted.
“Guys, I’m sorry! I’ll never do this again, just help me! Please!”
“He’s moving too fast!” Phineas said with some panic.
“We’re not gonna make it!” Isabella cried.
The race car got closer to the edge.
“NOOOOOOO!” the Plantar family screamed.
That was when a large figure landed in front of the automobile with a loud thump. They then caught the car with both hands, holding it in place as the tires continued to speed on the ground. They were starting to dig holes.
The savior was completely unknown to the others, but to those from Amphibia, it was impossible to not recognize him.
“Andrias?” Anne questioned in surprise, relief, and wonder.
“Get him out of there!” Andrias said with a grunt. “I won’t be able to hold this thing for long!”
Giving the former King a nod, Boonchuy opened the car door and gently pulled a shaking Sprig out.
“I’ve got you, Sprig. You’re safe now.”
“Anne,” was all Sprig could say as he hugged his sister.
The Leviathan let out a loud roar and pushed the race car away, causing it to drive off into the forest.
“Everyone okay?” he asked the group.
“Woah! That was awesome!” Phineas cheered.
“Who is this guy? He’s huge!” Isabella praised.
“I am…” Andrias began but paused in thought.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to share his name. So what would he call himself? He knew who he was. What he was. King. Goofball. Tyrant. Failure. Destroyer. A bad friend.
But that’s not who he wanted to be.
Except for goofball, he’d like to keep that.
He wanted to be better. He wanted to change. He wanted to fix the world he had broken. He wanted to grow…
Grow… the Leviathan thought. Perhaps… perhaps I can take after an old friend.
“Call me Gardner. It’s what I’d like to do now,” he said in the Plantar’s direction.
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Ferb nodded.
“Hey, should we be worried about that car?” Anne asked. “It’s not stopping.”
“Well, since the remote is broken, that thing’s on until it runs out of gas,” Phineas explained.
“Then we have to take it down before it gets someone killed,” a knew voice spoke. Everyone turned to see it was Sasha, and Marcy was right beside her. “Saw you guys needed help and came as soon as we could. But it looks like the big guy took care of things.” She then nodded up at him in approval. “Not bad, man.”
“I’m proud of you, buddy,” Marcy smiled softy.
“Yeah, thank you,” Sprig said to the giant newt, and he meant it.
“Think nothing of it,” Andrias waved off. “I’m just trying to do better. Plus, I owed you.”
“Oh. Right, you did,” he realized, remembering the window. “Now, let’s go catch that-”
“Not so fast there, Sprig,” Hop Pop said, crossing his arms. So did Anne, causing the pink frog to gulp. Then he sighed.
“I’m sorry. You guys were right. I never should have gotten in that car.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” his grandfather comforted, pulling him into an embrace.
“Me too,” Anne said, joining in.
“So uh, we’re good?”
“No,” the two answered in unison.
“Anne, you can choose his puni-”
“He does all my chores,” she was quick to say.
“Fair enough.”
“Aw, man,” the pink frog pouted.
“Hmm,” Mr. X hummed as he looked through a pair of binoculars. He stood on a rowboat with the Boonchuys seated behind him.
“What do you see?” Bee asked.
“He’s with someone who hasn’t been introduced yet,” the spy answered, not looking away. “They seem pretty close. Now they’re laughing together.”
“What can you tell about the other guy?”
“Not much to tell. They appear to be the same size though. They also-”
“Why is there a puddle in the boat?” Oum asked suspiciously. The two men let out sounds of confusion before looking down to see a small bit of water at the floor. “I don’t remember any water spilling in on our way here.”
“Me neither,” Bee said.
“I think it’s getting bigger.”
X looked at the puddle carefully before pressing a button on his glasses. The lenses scanned the area, showing a display that made his eyes widen. He then put his hand under the water and ran it over the base just to be sure. Then he stood up and tried his best to hide his panic.
“There’s a leek in the boat.”
“What?!” the married couple exclaimed.
“Calm down. We just need to head to shore and-”
“There’s another one in the back!” Bee cried.
“What?” X questioned, suspicion crawling onto his face.
His eyes widened in realization and he turned to look back in Stan Pines’ direction. What he saw made his face fall.
Stan was looking right back at him with a smug grin and a power drill in one hand. He pulled the trigger two times for emphasis.
A loud crack was heard and the water started pouring in at a faster rate.
“The boat’s going to sink!” Oum shouted.
“Abandon ship!” Bee cried before taking his wife’s hand and jumping off the boat with her. The couple then swam towards the shoreline, their lifejackets preventing them from sinking.
Mr. X just looked all around him in panic before letting out a frustrated cry.
“STAN PINES!”
“Amateur,” Lila Lolliberry shook her head as she cast off the line from her fishing pole. She sat in a boat not too far away from Stan. “Next time actually fish. It makes you look less suspicious.” She put on sunglasses and faced the water, but was really focused on Stan. “Now, what are you two talking about?”
“Did you hear something, Stanley?” Stanford asked his twin.
“Nothing too important,” Stan said, putting away the power drill. “You know, this isn’t the boat I expected to be on today, but I’ll take it.”
“I still can’t believe you punched a Kraken,” Ford grinned.
“I’ve punched a lot of monsters,” his brother shrugged.
“Do I want to-?”
“You’ll find out whether you like it or not.”
“Terrific,” Stanford sighed sarcastically. The he paused and looked at Stanley nervously. “Stanley… I’m afraid to ask… but Ma… is she…?”
“Woah! Woah! Relax, Sixer. She’s only in her seventies. She’s fine!”
“Oh thank goodness!” Ford let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “How is she then?”
“Last I checked she was living with Shermie. She seemed to be doing alright.”
“When was that?”
“When Dipper and Mabel were born,” he admitted and slumped with a guilty frown on his face. “Moses, I’m a terrible son.”
“No you’re not, Stanley,” Ford said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “But if that is true, then so am I.”
“Fine then, we’re both terrible. We owe her so many apologies. You know, she was the only one that showed up to my funeral. The way she cried… I don’t know how I’m gonna forgive myself for that.”
“We can stop by and see her in California. One big family reunion.”
“Yeah, that could work. Let’s just ease her into it though. We don’t want to give her a heart attack.” The two shovered at the thought of that. “That’s how Dad went.”
“What?”
“Yeah. Back in ‘99. He got so angry that his heart gave out.”
“Really. Huh,” was all Ford said.
“How does that make you feel?”
“It doesn’t make me feel anything,” the scientist admitted. “You weren’t the only one he wouldn’t let come home without a million dollars.” The two sat in silence for a minute until Ford perked up again. “Enough about him. Tell me about Shermie.”
“Ha! Where do I begin?”
“You said you were there when the kids were born. You could start there.”
“Yeah. I visited their mom and pop in the hospital. Still remember it like it was yesterday. Mabel came first.” His face then twisted uncomfortably. “Dipper’s face was blue. Umbilical cord must have wrapped around his neck or something,” he shivered. “When I got a hold of those two I didn’t want to let them go. Had to fight Shermie just to keep them for another minute.”
“Of course you did,” Ford laughed.
“Yeah, and Shermie, ha! He was such a square! He wore a bowtie to meet them!” Stan guffawed.
“Really?”
“Yes! And there was this other time…”
Ford grinned as he heard his twin regal him with more tales of their brother. But he became lost in thought somewhere in the middle of another one.
“Wait, I know that look. What’s on your mind, Sixer?”
“I haven’t seen Shermie since he was a baby. Maybe a toddler.”
“Yeah, so?”
“That was a little over forty years ago.”
“Y-yeah. What’s your point?” Stan was getting nervous now.
“Dipper and Mabel just turned thirteen so… Stanley, what happened while I was gone?”
Realizing he wasn’t going to be able to avoid this conversation, Stan released a massive sigh, heavy with the weight of the secret he carried.
“Sixer, what I’m about to tell you must never leave this boat,” Stan looked at his brother with absolute seriousness.
“Well, that was one fun makeout session,” Luz beamed.
“Y-yeah,” Amity blushed as she and her girlfriend walked hand-in-hand to the Gravity Falls arcade.
They arrived to see the ones from the Danville and Gravity Falls groups, the rest of the Hexsquad, and the adults in their own group. There were also a few shadowy people too.
“Okay, everyone here?” Wendy asked the gathering of people. “This is the last call for anyone who wants a tour of the Gravity Falls forest.”
“Hang on. Stacy and Ferb wanted to come, but I don’t see them,” Candace said.
“Here.” Stacy exited the arcade. “I thought I’d play a few games before we go.”
“Did you have fun?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah. I couldn’t beat the high scores though. On any of them,” Stacy frowned.
“Really?” Wendy questioned.
“Yeah, someone named ‘PAZ’ had the highest score on all of them.”
“PAZ? PAZ. Why does that sound so familiar?” Dipper wondered aloud. Wendy just shrugged before addressing the crowd.
“Okay, people! Let’s get this show on the road.”
They began to march through the woods taking in the sights as they went.
“This forest is beautiful,” Lilith praised, gazing upon the trees in awe. “We don’t have trees this tall in the Isles. And that color. Ah! It’s just all so gorgeous!”
“If you think the redwoods are cool, you haven’t anything yet,” Wendy smirked.
“So Dipper, what can we expect?” Candace asked. The young teen responded by handing her Journal 3.
“Why don’t you take a look?” he smiled up at her.
“I get to read it?!” she exclaimed in delight. The redhead let out a squeal and wasted no time in flipping through the pages. “Scampfires, Questionquails, Cowls, Woodpecker Peckers, Plaidipus? Are these real?”
“Why don’t you take a look?” Wendy smirked and moved a few branches to reveal all of those creatures around a pond.
The made various exclamations of astonishment.
“Extraordinary,” Lilith marveled at the sight.
“¡Dios mío!,” Camila beamed.
“Don’t get too close to the Scampfires though. They’ll eat anything combustible,” Dipper warned.
“We’ll keep that in mind,” Amity nodded.
“Hey, humans? Think these things could be from the Demon Realm?” Eda asked.
“Huh,” Dipper said. “That’s… that’s not something I considered. Maybe.”
“Add that to the list of mysteries to solve while we’re here,” Candace drawled out.
“There’s more cool creatures this way,” Wendy said before leading the group off.
Dipper looked around at the group and paused upon failing to find someone.
“Hey Mabel, where’s Pacifica? I haven’t seen her since the viewing ended.”
“Oh, she went to buy fancy clothes from Bonesborough with Candy and Grenda. She thought maybe that was something they could bond over. I don’t know where she was during lunch though.”
“Really? Well good for her,” the Pines boy couldn’t help but smile. It turned into a confused frown upon seeing his sister’s smirk. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
She just kept smirking at him.
“Mabel?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head, the smirk never leaving her face.
“I hope King’s having as much fun as we are,” Luz smiled.
Meanwhile, the Atmospheric Vapor Inator was soaring above the clouds. Inside the control room, the agent, trainee, and scientist were still battling.
It was pretty obvious who was winning.
And who was losing.
Heinz breathed heavily as he hunched over and clutched his side. The poor man was covered in scrapes and bruises, and his hair was a mess.
“Okay. Okay. I think I-” he was cut off by Perry uppercutting him.
“Oh, so that’s how you do an uppercut,” King beamed. “Let me try!”
“Wait! NO!” Heinz screamed only for King to successfully uppercut him, sending the scientist stumbling back.
“Yes! I did it!” the little guy cheered.
Doofenshmirtz crashed into the flight controls and his hand hit the self-destruct button. The alarm immediately began to blare around the room.
“Oh great. Just perfect,” Heinz drawled out.
Perry wasted no time in wrapping an arm around King and jumping out the window with him. King let out a scream as fell to the earth. But then the platypus pulled a string, deploying a parachute just as the weather machine exploded.
“♪ Agent P! ♪”
“Cool!” King praised as they slowly descended. “Wait, do I get my own music too now?”
“♪ Trainee King! ♪”
“Yes! I am loving today!”
All Perry could do was smile down at him as he steered them away from the trees of Gravity Falls.
As the two went down safely, Doofenshmirtz and his vessel crashed on the forest floor. He dragged himself out of the burning wreckage and continued to moan in pain.
“I think I’m just going to lie here for a while.”
The vats of gourd tea were cracked and spilling out, creating a massive puddle in the grass. The colony of gnomes, or at least a replicant of them, crawled over and sniffed the stuff curiously. After Jeff briefly shrugged at the rest of them, they soon began to drink it up.
Back with the others currently in the woods, the conversation amongst the teenagers had shifted to a different topic.
“Bloodcraft: Overdeath is so much fun. You guys have to play it sometime!” Stacy said.
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed. “It’s in a fantasy setting, and there’s enchanted items, voice settings, it’s the perfect game.”
“Interesting,” Luz said. “How does health work?”
“You regain health through consumption. For example, wine can give you about thirty health points in one bottle. But that makes it hard to get,” Stacy explained.
“I actually managed to get some the last time I played,” Dipper said.
“We should totally play together sometime,” Jeremy suggested.
“I’m in,” the Pines boy responded.
“And with PLATINUMPAZ not here, we can actually go in with no fear,” Stacy beamed, causing the other gamers present to cheer.
Those cheers were cut as a thunderous roar echoed through the woods, making the very trees shake. The group looked around in confusion and nervousness.
“Everyone! Be on guard. We’re not alone out here,” Hunter said, already getting into his combat stance.
The others were quick to do as he said, pulling out their various weapons or skills they had at the ready. They all stared into the dark parts of the forest. They could hear the monstrous sounds within.
“I’ll handle this,” Alador declared, marching forward.
“What? No, you’ll only get in the way. I will take care of the threat,” Darius challenged.
“Careful You might break a nail.”
The two immediately began to bicker.
“Really?! Now?! Of all times?!” Amity exclaimed.
Eberwolf, Raine, and the Blight twins went over to try and break them up. Unfortunately, this led to all six of them lowering their guards.
The monster charged out of the shadows and smacked them aside. The six of them either hit the ground or some trees, falling unconscious. Their loved ones’ cries of worry were cut off by a new fear as the beast revealed itself. Or more accurately, themselves.
“Look boys! Queens everywhere! Get them all!” the replicant of Jeff ordered from the top of the Giant Gnome.
The cluster of critters let out a loud roar and charged at the group.
“Scatter!” Dipper warned, and that’s what the others did.
Except for Amity and Willow, who stood their ground and cast spell circles. Vines and abomination slime shot out and wrapped around the beasts’ legs, tripping it.
“Let’s try to hold it down!” Willow ordered.
“You got it, Captain,” Hunter nodded. He then proceeded to use his new magic to dash to throughout the area, grabbing rocks, branches, anything he could find, and dropped them on the Giant Gnome’s back.
“Fireside Girls!” Gretchen began. “Form your sashes into a lasso and get it’s arm!” The troupe did as ordered and together threw their makeshift lasso, wrapping it around its right arm. Candace, Stacy, Jeremy, and Vanessa joined in to help them.
“Someone get the left arm! Quickly!” Amity cried.
There was the sound of something launching that then wrapped itself around the final limb
“GRAPPLING HOOK!” Mabel cheered. Her brother, Wendy and Soos grabbed hold of the line to help her. Hunter, Gus, and Luz then joined in too.
The beasts were now immobile.
“Dipper, what do we do?”Candace questioned.
“We have to break it apart!” he answered.
“We’re on it!” Eda shouted. She drew out her staff, Lilith quickly following suit, and the sisters charged at the head with magic charged for an attack.
But the Gnomes were prepared for it, and spat out a ton of their kin at them. A few of the critters managed to tackle the Clawthornes to the ground with surprising efficiency, while the others landed on the plant and abomination Witches. The attack was not enough to harm them, but it did cause the ladies to lose focus.
Seizing the opportunity, the Giant Gnome broke its legs free of the goo and vines and stood up.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!” everyone cried as it pulled its arms free, causing the group to fall to the ground.
The Giant Gnome stomped over to them menacingly. It soon became clear that its target was the twins. Dipper and Mabel felt a wave of deja vu come over them as they gripped each other tightly and screamed. But just as the giant fist was swung down to crush them, a magic blue shield emerged around the two, protecting them from the attack.
The siblings turned to see Lilith lying on the ground with her staff raised. While the shadows prevented them from seeing her face, they could still make out the strain.
“Go! Hurry!” she called out.
“Thank you, Cool Aunt!” the pair responded before bolting behind a large rock with the others.
The stack of Gnomes tried to go after them but staggered back upon being hit by a rock. Everyone looked to see it was the Sprig with his slingshot.
“You want them, you have to go through us!” the frog boy declared.
It was at that moment that the rest of the gathered groups charged in and came to their aid. Grime and Yunan lead the charge with the combatants, while the others went to help the wounded.
“You okay, Candace?” Phineas asked in concern.
“I am now that you guys are here,” she smiled at her brothers.
“We need a plan to stop that thing!” Hunter said.
“We have one. Watch,” Isabella smirked.
Everyone turned to see Anne and Sasha striking the heels bringing the beast down to its knees. Marcy and Perry fired their crossbow and grappling hook around the arms, allowing Grime and Yunan to strike at them. Then Andrias smacked it in the face with his tail.
Then they all quickly moved out of the way, confusing the others present. Everyone soon got their answer, and more questions, when the race car suddenly crashed into the Giant Gnome, scattering the critters all over the place.
As soon as they were no longer a threat, Mabel immediately came out of hiding and started punching them with the brass knuckles she won from Stan.
“Take that, you jerks!”
“Nice hit, Sweetie!” Stan beamed. Then he looked down at the groggy replicant of Jeff and picked him up. “Hmm. You’re not the real him, but you’ll do.” And he stuffed him in his pocket.
“Everyone okay?” Eda asked the group. She was answered by tired nods.
“That was amazing, dudes!” Soos cheered, earning confused looks. “Well, not the danger part, obviously. But did you see the way we worked together? It was so seamless. It just felt… right!”
The large gathering took a moment to think over the handyman’s words. As their thoughts drifted back to the battle, they realized just how true that statement was
“What the heck happened? What drove the Gnomes to do this?” Wendy questioned.
Hop Pop walked over to one and inspected its eyes.
“Yep. They drank gourd tea.”
“How?”
“I think I know,” King stated flatly and pointed into the woods. Heinz then limped out, breathing heavily.
“The Gnomes… they drank… the gourd tea,” he said between breaths.
“How did they get gourd tea?” Dipper asked.
“Uh…” the scientist trailed off.
“He was planning to spray us all with it as part of my training,” King said.
“WHAT?!” everyone exclaimed.
“I-I wasn’t really gonna do it! It was all for show!”
“But why did you have it!” Luz yelled at him.
“Go big or go home,” he shrugged. “You know, I can now see how this was another instance of a lack of planning on my part,” Heinz admitted.
“You think?” Candace glared at him with sarcasm.
“Just tell me how I can make it up to you all, and I’ll do it.”
The others shared a look before grinning mischievously.
Heinz stared at the mountain of dishes before him.
“Of course that would be the ending to this day,” he sighed.
“Don’t worry, man. I saved some of my food for ya,” Stan offered. “It’ll be waiting when you’re done.”
“Thank you! You know, it’s really nice to have another friend around here. It feels good. Especially since we’re so alike,” he smiled.
“Well, are we exactly alike?”
“I suppose so,” Doofenshmirtz hummed.
That was when the music began to play.
“♪ Do you want some weird soda? ♪” Heinz sang.
“ ♪ No, that's gross! ♪”
“ ♪ It was a test! Pitt Cola? ♪” The scientist gave him the familiar brand.
“ ♪ Ooh, I love it the most! ♪”
“Me too! And orange! ♪ Do you collect coins? ♪”
“ ♪ Yeah, everyday. ♪” Stan sang back, pulling out some change from his pockets. “ ♪ For if the IRS takes all our… ♪”
“♪ …money away. ♪” The two now began to sing together.
“♪ I've been alone all these years. With my irrational fears. ♪”
“But not the IRS thing. That could happen,” Stan nodded.
“♪ But now before me I see, someone with whom I agree
I've found a brand new best friend, he’s like me. I’ve found a brand new best friend, he’s like me.
“♪ Hmm, you could be taller. ♪” Stan suggested.
“ ♪ I've been told I slouch, ♪” Doof shrugged. “ ♪ I thought you’d have a girlfriend, y'know… ♪”
“ ♪ They left me with the couch. ♪”
“♪ Ouch! ♪ That’s rough, buddy.”
“Yeah, yeah. Can the sympathy. Let’s just move on,” Pines rolled his eyes.
“ Okay. ♪ Do you like Baker’s? ♪”
“ ♪ Yeah, their food is tasty. ♪”
“ ♪ No, no, I meant Dee Bradley. ♪” And he pulled out a picture of Dee Bradley Baker.
“Oh, that's right.”
“♪ He’s Waddles and Perry!” they sing right at you.
“♪ Now I know all about you. And you know all about me. ♪”
“ ♪ Ooh-wee-ooh ♪” Doof went.
“ ♪ And now before me I see, someone with whom I agree. ♪” The two began to dance around the kitchen they were in. They found some canes lying around and began using them as props. “ ♪ I've found a brand new best friend, he’s like me. I've found a brand new best friend, he’s like me. Now that I've found you, we can be a duo ♪”
“That's right,” Heinz grinned.
“ ♪ Twice the trouble. Pines and Doofenshmirtz ♪”
“♪ Coming at you Fridays! ♪” Doofenshmirtz finished.
“What now? We’re doing a tv show together or something?” Stan questioned.
“No, it just sort of sounded good. But we could. We should!”
“Hmmm. I have always wanted to be on tv. Okay let’s do it!” Pines cheered.
“That was the final test! You passed! Welcome aboard, my new friend!” Heinz beamed in absolute joy.
The final notes then played, ending the number.
It was another hour before the Doctor finished cleaning everyone’s dishes. The large group had gathered at the fancy restaurant in Gravity Falls for dinner. And right after they finished up, King got to where everyone could see him and gave the lecture on demons he promised.
“And that is our basic chemical makeup. Next question?”
“Yes. How many types of demons are there?” Ford asked.
“Great question, Dr. P. There are three types of demons. Bug, Biped and Beast. The ‘Three B’s’ for short,” the young Titan explained.
“Look at him and how he keeps everyone’s attention. I’m so proud!” Luz gushed.
“That’s my son,” Eda bragged to the Coven heads.
“Mhmm! I think you’re onto something here, Pines,” Doof said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “When you brought me this meal, I was ready to walk away, but it’s surprisingly good.”
“Wish he weren’t so stressed though. It made him chewy,” Stan complained as he looked down at the small skeleton with the pointy hat lying on Heinz’s plate.
Stanford wrote down what KIng said as he continued to listen. Once he finished the aging man looked around and noticed that not everyone was present.
“Mabel? Where’s your brother?”
“He went off to talk with Candace in the lobby, Grunkle Ford.”
“Hmmm. Well, could you go check on him?”
“Sure thing!” the Pines girl promised before skipping out of the room. She had to do a double take when she entered the lobby. “Are you two making a conspiracy board?”
The pair jumped a little upon being disturbed, but calmed down when they saw who it was.
“Oh hey, Mabel,” Candace greeted. “I don’t wanna call it a conspiracy board. It’s more of a…” The redhead then frowned. “Okay it’s a conspiracy board.” Dipper just chuckled.
“We’re trying to figure out why we’re here,” her brother explained.
“Oh. Yeah, we should totally do that,” Mabel nodded. “But don’t you think that can wait until tomorrow morning?”
The two shared a look and shrugged.
“I guess,” Dipper said.
“Good. Last one to the dining room has to clean Grunkle Stan!”
As Candace watched the twins race, she couldn’t help but smile at just how weirdly grateful she was for essentially being kidnapped.
Man, what has my life become?
“WKDW’V PB ERB!” Hdqnl fkhhuhg. “L’p vr surxg!”
“Brxu vrq zloo jurz wr gr juhdw wklqjv, rog iulhqg. L nqrz lw,” wkh Darorwo sudlvhg.
“Dqg kh’v d idvw ohduqhu, wrr,” Khlqc qrgghg.
“L’p lpsuhvvhg zlwk brx, Hdqnl,” wkh Jxdugldq ehjdq. “Brx’yh eurxjkw wrjhwkhu d jurxs ri vlplodu bhw gliihuhqw shrsoh, dqg pdqdjhg wr jhw wkhp wr zrun wrjhwkhu. Vrph kdyh hyhq ehjxq qhz iulhqgvklsv.”
“Dqg qrw rqob wkdw, exw wkhb iljkw zhoo wrjhwkhu wrr,” wkh pdvvlyh dpskleld vdlg.
“Doo sduw ri wkh sodq,” wkh Wlwdq vplunhg.
“Dqg zkdw lv wkh sodq?” wkh fdw dvnhg.
“Zkdw zh kdyh vhhq khuh wrgdb lv rqob wkh vxuidfh ohyho ri zkdw wkhvh shrsoh fdq gr wrjhwkhu. Wkhb’yh douhdgb ehjxq wr erqg dqg jurz dqg ilw wrjhwkhu olnh slhfhv lq d sxccoh. Dqg wkdw’v mxvw gdb rqh. Lpdjlqh zkdw wkhb frxog dffrpsolvk rqfh wkhb’yh ohduqhg hyhubwklqj derxw hdfk rwkhu?”
“Dqg zkdw gr wkhb qhhg wr dffrpsolvk?” Darorwo dvnhg.
Hdqnl zdv vlohqw iru d prphqw dv kh zdwfkhg wkh vohhslqj irup ri klv vrq wkurxjk wkh vfuhhq.
“Qrw wrqljkw. Wrgdb kdv ehhq d jrrg gdb. Ohw’v qrw gdunhq lw zlwk zkdw L nqrz.”
“Wkhq L vxjjhvw zh jhw vrph vohhs,” wkh Jxdugldq vsrnh.
“Zh frxog,” Khlqc qrgghg. “Ru zh frxog vwdb xs iru derxw dqrwkhu krxu dqg ilqlvk Kdcelq Krwho.”
Wkh rwkhu wkuhh orrnhg dw hdfk rwkhu iru d prphqw ehiruh wkh Wlwdq wxuqhg wr wkh iuloob jrg.
“Darorwo?”
“Bhv.”
“Vkrz ph d kdssb gdb lq Khoo.”
“Zlwk sohdvxuh, rog iulhqg.”
Notes:
There was originally going to be two more scenes, but I decided to move them to different chapters respectively. I'll let you know which ones when we get there. And the fight was originally going to be way cooler, but this anniversary is too important to pass it up. Hoped you enjoyed it! You'll see the other songs I had planned as the opening f the next chapter.
Well, that is officially the end of the first day and the tenth chapter! Now, I wouldn't expect another update for a least a month. I have plenty more works to focus on.
It's late, so I'll end it there, okay, BYEEE!
Chapter 11 Progress:
Intro 1/1
Summaries 3/3
Reactions 2/3
Chapter 11: I Would Do Anything For Love: Part 1
Notes:
Happy Thanksgiving! Here's what I think is my longest chapter yet! Enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alador walked through the halls of the Owl House and found Eda and Camila standing at a doorway he recognised as Luz’s room.
“Edalyn, Camila, do you know where Amity… oh.”
He got his answer when he looked inside to see Amity and Luz curled up together in the sleeping bag. Their arms were clearly wrapped around each other as they smiled softly in their sleep. The young couple let out content hums and nuzzled each other’s faces.
“¡Ay, que lindo!” Camila gushed and had her hands resting on her cheeks.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing Luz and Boots this happy,” Eda sighed happily.
The two women paused upon hearing a sniffle and turned to see it was Alador. The mechanic/engineer now had tears building up on his eyes.
“Alador?” Eda asked.
“My baby girl’s all grown up!” he quietly cried and tried his best to wipe the tears away.
“I know the feeling,” Camila sighed and placed a hand on his back. “Come on. We better get some sleep. It’s been a hard couple of days.”
Alador went to his house while Eda and Camila sat at the couch, two glasses and a bottle of apple blood in them.
“I’m not sure about this,” Noceda said hesitantly.
“Come on~!” Eda grinned at her. “It was literally just this morning when we defeated that old jerk. We could use a good drink. And I think you’d like apple blood.”
Camila held the glass in her hand and looked at the red liquid with wariness. Then letting out a sigh, she brought it to her lips and took a sip.
Her eyes widened for a moment. Then she downed the rest of it.
“This is good.”
“I know, right?”
“How often do you drink this?”
“Whenever I can,” Eda shrugged. “You got stuff like this in the Human Realm?”
“Actually…” Camila grinned. “I have just the thing.”
Amity woke up with half lidded eyes to the sound of her girlfriend breathing softly. She smiled at the woman who had changed her life in so many ways. Blight looked at a nearby clock and saw that it was 7:00.
“Time to get up,” she sighed, yet still smiled. The Witch tired to get up but wasn’t able to get more than her upper body out, because her girlfriend had wrapped her arms around her midsection in a tight yet gentle grip.
“Don’t go,” Luz moaned, not even bothering to open her eyes.
“Luz, we have to get to the viewings,” Amity rolled her eyes fondly.
“You don’t have to be in the theater. Plus, we’ve got a crystal ball in here for you to use,” Luz reasoned.
“True,” she nodded. “But don’t you have to be there?”
“Nah. I’m getting kicked out today.”
“You are?”
“For not showing up.”
“Luz!” Amity laughed. “There’s nothing I’d rather do than stay here curled up with you, but it’s 7:00 am.”
There was a loud click from the clock, and the two girls turned to see that it was now 6:00.
“Huh?” Luz went. Suddenly a note appeared next to it.
You get another hour to kiss and cuddle. Anything for my favorite ship.
Amity’s face was redder than a tomato, while Luz was positively beaming up at the ceiling.
“Thank you, mysterious host!” Then she turned to her girlfriend. “Now come here!” Amity laughed as Luz pulled her back down under the covers. As the Noceda nuzzled her girlfriend’s neck, a thought came to her. “I wonder what the other groups are doing?”
Let’s find out!
While other people like the most adorable lovebirds in any universe were cuddling in bed, many of the others were banding together in the most grueling, merciless, death defying practice of their generation…
Bloodcraft: Overdeath.
“We need to get through all these monsters and take that cave!” Marcy said as she fired her arrows.
“I’m all for fighting monsters, but tell me again why we’re trying to get into that cave?” Stacy asked as her avatar cut a skeleton in two with a broad strike of her sword.
“Yeah, why’s this spot so important?” Jeremy added.
“After watching a few other players running away screaming from here earlier, I have determined that this is the lair of PLATINUMPAZ,” Dipper answered with a grin.
“WHAT?!” the large group screamed.
“And you want to go in there?” Lee questioned.
“Kid, have you lost your mind?!” Nate exclaimed.
“PLATINUMPAZ is the Grim Reaper,” Bee whimpered.
“They’ll kill us for just going in there,” Thompson said.
“Guys, PLATINUMPAZ isn’t here,” Dipper stressed. “We’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Imagine what it would be like to actually go inside their lair? We’ll never get a chance like this again.”
“He makes a good argument,” Polly shrugged before crushing a zombie with her flail.
“Eh, I don’t know, dude. Maybe this isn’t worth it?” Soos frowned.
“Come on~!” Dipper said.
“I’m still new at all this,” Hunter mentioned, walking backwards for a second instead of forwards.
“Think of the power!”
“I’ve got plenty of power right here!” Buford boasted as he swung his hammer over a goblin.
“The glory.”
“Don’t need it,” Isabella commented idly.
“The discovery.”
“I’m intrigued by that. But it’s too risky,” Baljeet said.
“Bragging rights.”
“I’m just here to have fun playing the game,” Phineas spoke.
“Me too!” Sprig grinned as he got hit by an arrow. “Wow! It’s like fighting but without the pain.”
“…For me? Please?”
“Very inspiring,” Sasha snarked, causing Anne, Mabel and Wendy to laugh.
Dipper racked his brain, searching for a solution. He perked up and grinned a moment later when he found it.
“Oh. And there will be a ton of loot.”
The mood instantly changed as the crowd cheered, pumping their fists in the air.
“Ooh! In that case, I’m in!” Andrias responded cheerily. Ferb nodded in agreement.
“Ha! That’s the last one,” Grime said as he slayed the final monster.
“Okay then. What’s everyone’s health?” Sasha asked.
“Altogether, we have a total of six-hundred lives,” Marcy reported. “Most of it is from you, Anne, Sprig, Mabel and Grime. The rest of us really need to heal, but we’re out of supplies.”
“Everyone that needs some grub, head into that cave. The rest of you, with me. We’ll wait for you at the beach,” the blonde ordered.
“You got it!” Dipper gave her a thumbs up and led the others into the cave.
What they saw filled them all with wonder. There thousands upon thousands of coins, potions, weapons, and most of all, sheep.
The Pines boy’s avatar pulled out a bow and arrow, aimed it at one of the sheep, and let go. As soon as the projectile met its mark, music started to play.
“Over here!” Dipper’s avatar called out to the party.
“♪ Look at all this food! ♪” Marcy sang, beaming in joy. “♪ Look at all these sheep! I can't believe this cave has all this for us to keep! ♪”
“♪ I've gotta hand it to you both. This is quite the treat. ♪” Stacy nodded. “♪ There are enough sheep here to feed an entire fleet. ♪”
“♪ It's almost too perfect. Too good to be true. ♪” Dipper sang, not really knowing why, as he examined the massive amounts of loot. Then a stay thought struck him. Something he hadn’t thought of earlier. “♪ Why would the other players pass up on all this food? ♪” Dipper wondered
“Who are you?”
The monstrous voice made everyone freeze where they stood. It was as if the words themselves had shaken the entire cave. They turned to see something that made them quiver in fear. A few of them even let out whimpers.
From the entrance they just came through stood a ten foot tall knight in black and red armor walking in with heavy steps that shook the ground. The light from the torches seemed to dim as they passed them by.
But what truly had them all oh so terrified was the name tag hanging above their head. The red letters spelled out doom as they revealed the identity of the player.
PLATINUMPAZ
“Hey there! We're just travelers. We come in peace,” Dipper greeted, trying his best not to panic at the one thing he was so dangerously wrong about.
“ ♪ You killed my sheep, ♪” PLATINUMPAZ sang low and slow, every single word sending shivers down everyone’s spines. “ My favorite sheep. What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep? Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?”
The terrifying figure proceeded to pick up Dipper’s avatar by the collar and bring him to eye level. They then drew their sword and pointed it just a few inches away from his throat.
“ ♪ Time to drink your blood over where you stand. Your life now is in my hand. Before I'm done, you will learn that it's not so fun to take. You came to my home to steal. But now you'll become my meal. A trade you see? Take from you, like you took from me. ♪ ”
“♪ There's been a misunderstanding! ♪” Dipper cried out, rasing his hands up placatingly. “♪ We never came here to steal. But now that I see we've done some damage, Maybe you and I can make a deal. ♪” The boy sang the last part while waving his hands between the two of them. “♪ I'll give you our finest treasure. So long as we leave alive, you can keep the world's best tasting wine. ♪”
PLATINUMPAZ lowered their sword slightly.
“ ♪ Wine? ♪”
Dipper didn’t have time to sigh in relief as he pulled out the bottle of the health-giving liquid from his inventory for them to see.
“♪ Have a drink! One sip and you'll understand, the power that's in your hands. A wine so fresh
You'd never wanna eat human flesh again. Then we shall be on our way. No bloodshed in here today. A trade you see? A gift from you and a gift from me. ♪”
PLATINUMPAZ set him down and took the offered beverage. Everyone watched in terrified anticipation as they gulped it down.
Their health points increased after a moment
“ Ahh. I'd like to thank you. Stranger, what's your name? ♪ ” they asked, putting away their sword.
First rule of the internet, Dipper: Never share your real name, the Pines boy thought to himself. So he gave them his username.
“♪ My name is Nobody, Nobody, Nobody~. ♪”
“ ♪ Nobody, for your gift I've one to reply. ♪”
“♪ I'm so glad we see eye to eye, ♪” he sang in relief. The others seemed to finally calm down as well.
“ ♪ Yes, you shall be the final man to die. ♪”
“What?” Dipper asked in a deathly quiet voice, filled with terror. That terror immediately skyrocketed upon seeing the 100-Level Deathslayer raise their fist. WATCH OUT!”
PLATINUMPAZ punched the ground with so much force that it sent out a shockwave, throwing everyone to the ground. Dust rose up in the area and a new song kicked in.
“ ♪ PLATINUMPAZ~. PLATINUMPAZ~. ♪ ” a chorus sang as the monstrous player roared.
Everyone rose up and all the players looked on with absolute fear. Knowing what had to be done, Dipper moved his avatar onto a bolder where his team could see him.
“My brothers! The rest of our team, they wait at the beach. And if we're defeated, they're good as dead. Straight ahead, that is who we're fighting, ♪” and he pointed at the larger payer.
“ ♪ PLATINUMPAZ ♪
“♪ No backup, no chance for support. So draw out your swords!” Dipper drew out his sword. “Our foe must be thwarted right here and now. Show me how great is your will to survive?!”
The others quickly followed suit, their fear moving aside for their determination.
“♪ Six hundred lives at stake, it's just one life to take. And when we kill him, then our journey's over. No dying on me now, defeat is not allowed. We must live through this day. So fight, fight, fight~! ♪”
The team charged towards the deadly player, letting out war cries as they did.
“♪ Surround him. ♪”
“ ♪ Surround him! ♪” the others sang in ensemble, following his command.
“♪ Attack from behind, keep distance in mind, and stay in his blindspot and strike his heels. ♪”
“ ♪ Strike the heels! ♪”
“♪Show him that we're deadly. ♪”
“ ♪ Ha! Ha! ♪” The players swung their swords at PLATINUMPAZ’s legs.
“♪ Exhaust him. ♪”
“♪ Exhaust him! ♪”
“♪Don't let him get close, he's strong but he's slow. He can't land a blow if we're out of reach. Find a breach. Stand up and fight for your lives! ♪”
“ ♪ Six hundred lives at stake, it's just one life to take . And when we kill him, then our journey's over. ♪”
“♪ Push forward~! ♪” he ordered in a long note that carried on into their next lyric.
“ ♪ No dying on us now, defeat is not allowed. We must live through this day. So fight, fight, fight~! ♪”
The sounds of war cries and roars filled the cave. Little by little, they were eating away at PLATINUMPAZ’s health points. A few of them were even starting to laugh.
They actually had a chance!
Suddenly, there was a sound of a blade being drawn from its sheath, and the tall opponent swung down their sword at the nearest attacking player.
Soos’ avatar combusted into flames upon contact with a loud hiss, and he turned to ash instantly. The sword hit the ground like a drum, halting everyone in their actions.
“Dudes?” Soos asked over the chat, scared for his teammates.
“Enough.”
PLATINUMPAZ swung down their sword again. This time on Jeremy, turning his avatar to ash.
“It’s a hellsword,” Marcy said faintly. “IT’S A HELLSWOR-!”
She never got to finish as she was next to be incinerated.
“Dipper, what do we do?” Wendy questioned in terror. All he did was stare at the ashes in fear. “Dipper? DIPPE-” the Corduroy cried out as the hellsword hit her too, again sounding like a drum.
Stacy was next.
Then Nate.
“ ♪ You've hurt me enough. ♪ ”
Lee.
“ ♪ Six hundred lives I'll take. ♪”
Thompson.
“ ♪ Six hundred lives I'll break. ♪”
Polly.
“ ♪ And when I kill you, then my pain… ♪ ”
Bee.
“ ♪ …is over. ♪ ”
Andrias.
“ ♪ You're dying here and now. ♪”
Hunter.
“♪ Escape is not allowed. ♪”
Buford.
“ ♪ You won't live through this day, now die! ♪”
Baljeet.
“ ♪ Di-! ♪”
Isabella.
“ ♪ -i -i-i–! ♪” the large player was cut off by a bottle colliding with their face, causing a purple explosion that sent them falling back. Dipper looked to see it was Phineas and Ferb who had thrown it.
“Potions. Some are quite explosive,” the green haired boy answered.
“It’s just the three of us left,” Dipper said, looking around at all the piles of ash. “Okay, this should be fine. Nothing can go wrong for you guys, right?”
“Well, there actually was this one time…” Pineas began.
“What?” Dipper asked, terror gripping him again.
“Too bad Isabella can’t play now. We were really having fun together,” the redhead lamented. Ferb’s avatar placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Unfortunately for them, this distraction proved to be their undoing as PLATINUMPAZ swung their sword at them, creating two new piles side-by-side.
Dipper was now the last man standing. And he did what anyone would do in his position…
Run like hell to the exit.
He wasn’t fast enough though, as the other player pinned him to the ground with their foot. He looked up at them in quiet terror.
“I did say you would be the last one to die.”
Then they slowly raised their sword high and brought it down upon him.
Dipper stared at his computer screen in disbelief.
“Agh! It’s the stupid controller’s fault!” Andrias complained.
“Um, that wasn’t my imagination, right?” Isabella asked through the comms.
“No,” the Pines boy spoke with dread. “PLATINUMPAZ is here.”
Dipper, Marcy, Stacy and Hunter walked into the Mystery Shack parlor utterly exhausted, and it had nothing to do with it being the morning. Waiting for them were Candace, Perry, Anne, Sasha, Mabel, and Luz.
“What the heck happened to you guys?” Mabel asked.
“PLATINUMPAZ,” they all answered in defeat.
“That player you guys talked about yesterday?”
“I’ve fought far worse stuff. Why was that so terrifying?” Hunter questioned.
“How could we have not seen this? The arcade was filled with PAZ as the top scorer,” Stacy bemoaned.
“We have to find out who he is?” Dipper said without hesitation.
“Or she,” Luz chided.
“Right, right, sorry. The voice filter sounded male so…”
“No, no, it’s fine. I completely get it.”
“Good thing we left when we did,” Sasha told Anne, which did not go unheard by Dipper.
“What?! What do you mean you left?!”
“As soon as you guys mentioned PLATINUMPAZ over the chat, we bailed,” Anne explained.
“And we heard your song. It was amazing Bro-Bro!”
“WE DIED FOR YOU!”
“Alright, enough of that,” Candace snickered. “Time for us to find out why we're here.”
“You’re right,” Dipper nodded and calmed himself down. “So, we should probably start with what our ‘shows’ have in common. Maybe there’s something we’re all connected to?”
They wrote the names of the show titles down on notecards and pinned them to the conspiracy board.
“Well, Luz and I both traveled to different dimensions,” Anne offered.
“That’s right,” Luz nodded and put that on the board, tying a thread around the pins, connecting the two shows to that fact. “What about you guys?”
“Uh, we can’t answer that,” Dipper said.
“Neither can we,” Candace added.
“That’s not a no,” Hunter observed.
“What should we call you, by the way?” Anne asked. Hunter thought about it for a moment.
“Defector.”
“Ooh! Ominous. I love it!” Mabel praised.
“Right,” Dipper nodded. “So, interdimensional travel. Anything else? When do our adventures take place again?”
The group thought it over for a moment before they all perked up at once.
“Summer!” everyone exclaimed while Perry put that on the board.
“We are on fire today!” Mabel cheered.
“What next?” Candace asked.
“Did… did any of you face a powerful enemy at one point?” Defector asked.
The room was silent as everyone halted in their actions and looked away from him. The blonde then quietly put that on the board and connected all the shows to it.
“Okay, this very terrifying implication aside, another thing to note is that we’re all teenagers or adolescents,” Marcy noted.
“All of us humans are also from America,” Anne added.
Perry cupped his bill and frowned at the board. Then he wrote something down on a notecard and showed it to them.
There’s something missing here.
“Yeah, but what?” Sasha asked as they all looked at the board. Dipper sighed after a moment.
“This is probably all we’re gonna get with what little we’ve seen so far. But it’s a good start.”
“My Bro-Bro’s right,” Mabel nodded. “We’ll probably learn more later.”
“Hey, Anne? Candace?” Luz whispered to them. “Can I talk to you both in private?” The two were a little worried by her concerned look, but they nodded and followed her into the hallway.
“What’s going on, Luz?” Anne asked.
“This.” She held up a tablet and showed it to them. It was a triangle guy in a circle with various symbols.
“That’s the last frame from the Gravity Falls intro,” Anne noticed.
“It’s also what freaked them out yesterday,” Candace added, growing concerned. “Who or what is that?”
“If they were that scared, do we really want to know?”
“I don’t think we have a choice,” Luz frowned. “But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you both. I found another code in the intro of Dipper and Mabel’s first episode. I decrypted it and… well…”
She scrolled down on the screen and showed them what she’d found. The two girls narrowed their eyes at the translation.
“Well, that only confirms my suspicions,” Boonchuy huffed.
Candace took the tablet and read the message over and over again. After a minute she turned it off and looked at the other two with a surprisingly calm expression.
“Let me talk to Dipper.”
“What?”
“If it’s something bad, he’ll tell me. Otherwise, it’s probably nothing to worry about,” the redhead argued.
“What do you want us to do?” Luz asked. Candace thought about it for a moment.
“Go to the vending machine. Try to find out what’s on the other side.”
“Mind if we tag along?” they turned to see it was Sasha who spoke and Marcy was right beside her.
“How long have you two been there?” Anne questioned her best friends.
“The whole time,” Marcy answered.
“Good. You two go with Anne. Luz, think you can distract Mabel for me?”
“Sure, but how?”
“You both are pretty similar, so just start a conversation.”
Luz just shrugged in response and went over to said Pines twin while the others left for the gift shop.
“Hey, Mabel? I have an idea for that sweater you could make me,” Noceda said, making the Pines girl gasp.
“Tell me all about it!” she grinned, leading her to the living room.
Dipper was now left alone in the parlor with Candace right outside. She was about to walk in when he started looking around suspiciously. Curious, she watched him as he opened a closet and pulled out an old music player. As he did this, he started singing to himself of all things.
“♪ Dipper! He’s the mystery solver. Ghosts fear him. Dudes wanna be him. Girls are warming up t9o him, generally. ♪”
Candace couldn’t help but giggle at that.
“I’ll work on that. Well, if no one's around, I might listen to the classics.” He put a tape in and it began to play.
“Ladies and gentlemen, number one super group, all time… BABA!”
Her jaw dropped as Dipper picked up a pen and held it like a mic as he sang “Disco Girl.” She watched him in stunned yet mirthful silence as he went through the whole song.
“Hey, do you know where Dipper-” Pacifica came up next to her but was cut off by Candace shushing the heiress. She then pointed to the Pines boy and the blonde’s jaw dropped. “Oh my gosh.”
“I know, right? Who would have seen that coming?” the redhead responded with a giggle.
“♪ …That girl is you. ♪” Dipper finished. “Alright, better hide this tape. The others can never know.”
“Too late, dork,” Northwest revealed herself. Dipper gasped and turned to see both girls smirking at him. “Didn’t take you for one to like that kind of music, Pines.”
“That was a ghost!” he responded hastily before trying to act cool. “You ladies saw a ghost.”
“We saw a ghost singing Top 40 Hits?” Candace questioned with a smirk.
“Yeah! Yeah, it must’ve been a ghost from the era.”
“That looked exactly like you?” Pacifica added.
The boy was silent as a deep red blush spread across his face, causing the other two to laugh.
“I’m Candace Flynn,” she offered her hand.
“Pacifica Northwest,” she shook it.
“Uh, can you repeat that? The silencing spell kinda blocked you out.”
“Oh, right. Call me Llama.”
“Girls, please! It’s bad enough that Mabel and Stan know! I don’t need anyone else teasing me.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back,” Candace giggled.
“Me too.”
“What are you even doing here?” Dipper asked the blonde.
“Oh, I heard that you got your butt kicked by that Platinum person, and I came to see your face.” Dipper just grumbled in annoyance, eliciting another laugh from her as she left.
“Okay, all of that aside, you got a minute?”
“Uh, sure? What do you need?”
Candace hesitated before answering
“Dipper… we’re friends, right?”
The boy took a moment to think it over.
“Yeah. Why not?” he said, causing the redhead to smile.
“I’m glad to hear that. So then, could you tell me about this?” She showed him the tablet and the message Luz had decoded.
STAN IS NOT WHAT HE SEEMS.
Dipper winced at that and looked up to see her looking down at him with a concerned gaze.
“Dipper, do I need to be worried about him?”
He took a deep breath before answering.
“There’s a lot that I won’t be able to tell you right now. It will all seem confusing and worse than it really is until you find out. But trust me on this, Stan is not a bad guy. He may lie, and cheat, and steal occasionally. But he really isn’t bad.”
“Dipper…”
“Candace. Trust me… please.”
She stared at him for a long moment of silence before nodding.
“Okay, Dipper. I trust you.”
“Thank you,” Dipper let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.
“Oh, before I forget, here,” and she handed him a piece of paper. He unfolded it and gave her a confused look upon seeing what it was.
“A coded message?”
“Send me one after you figure this one out,” she winked.
“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” he grinned.
Almost everyone was back in their places at the theater, they were just waiting up on Anne and Eda. The door for the Amphibia room opened up and the Thai girl sat down in her seat with a huff as she crossed her arms.
“What happened? Did you find out what was behind the vending machine?” Luz asked her friend in a whisper. Candace leaned in as well.
Boonchuy let out a groan and handed them a piece of paper. Luz unfolded it to see the words written down.
The truth is out to lunch.
“Why is everyone always out to lunch!” Anne complained.
“That’s all there was?” Candace questioned.
“Apparently.”
The door to the Owl House opened and Eda came in with a groan, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Grauntie Eda? Are you okay?” Mabel asked, placing a hand over hers.
“I’m fine, Kido,” she smiled down at her. “I just had a good night with a new friend.”
“You mean my mom?” Luz whispered.
“Yep,” the Witch popped the ‘p’. “I introduced her to Appleblood and she showed me this really great drink. I believe she called it tequila.”
“You’re hung over?” Mabel questioned.
“Only a little bit. But my real mistake last night was betting I could handle more than her.”
This made Luz blink in surprise before she grinned in pride. Dang, didn’t think she had it in her. Way to go, Mom!
“Alright, everyone. Time for today’s batch of Phineas and Ferb episodes. We will be covering It’s About Time!, Toy to the World, One Good Scare Ought To Do It!, I, Brobot, Journey to the Center of Candace, and I Scream, You Scream.”
“Well then, let’s get this show on the road,” Eda said.
“One thing first.” The host then arrived in a swirl of darkness, walked up to Luz, and leaned down to her ear. “There is time travel in this episode.” The young witch visibly flinched and paled. “I know that this will be difficult for you. There’s no shame in wanting to avoid this.”
“No, I… I’m gonna stay.”
“Are you sure?” they asked in sympathy. She nodded.
“I’m not gonna let the past ruin my future.”
The host smiled down at her with pride, and was about to start the episode when Heinz got up.
“Before we begin, I have something to say.” He took a deep breath and glared at King and Perry. “CURSE YOU, KING THE DEMON AND PERRY THE PLATYPUS!”
Perry just rolled his eyes fondly and King snickered. The others outright laughed.
It’s About Time!
The Flynn-Fletchers are at the Danville Museum of Natural History. Candace isn’t enthused.
“I mean, museums can be boring, sure,” Anne conceded. “But that’s the worst that can happen.”
“Keep watching,” the redhead spoke bitterly, making the others look at her with a little concern.
Lawrence: Oh, look. This T-Rex footprint was found not 30 yards from this very spot.
“Cool!” Polly grinned.
Lawrence shows them a dog skeleton.
Phineas: Didn't we have a dog named Bucky who got sick and went to live on kindly Old Man Simmons' farm?
Almost everyone’s jaws dropped at the very strong implication. Candace looked at her brothers nervously. Stan put a fist to his lips and shook his head.
Lawrence: Oh, uh, let's move on, shall we? This next exhibit is kindly Old Man Simmons— Hey! Who's up for milkshakes?
“Wait–wait, what?!” Eda stammered in bafflement.
“I–I don’t understand,” Dipper added.
“Probably best not to think about it,” Stan said.
Phineas and Ferb head into "Gadgets Through the Ages". The pair see a Tour Guide showing a group a time machine unfinished by an 19th-century scientist named Xavier Onassis.
“Wait, what?!” the Pines twins exclaimed.
“A time machine? Already?” Dipper questioned.
“What do you two mean?” Anne asked.
“We uh, we didn’t think that time travel would exist for a really long time,” Mabel answered.
“What’s a time machine?” Sprig asked.
“A time machine is a device that can send you to the past and the future. Time travel,” Anne explained, making Polly gasped.
“Really?! I wanna time travel!”
“You both are going to travel through time, aren’t you?” Dipper smirked.
“Yep,” Phineas beamed.
“Oh, so this is when it happened,” Jeremy realized.
“Just be careful,” Luz warned them seriously. “Messing with time can be dangerous.” Eda and King were quick to wrap their arms around her.
“So we’ve actually had time travel since the 1800’s? How?” Stacy wondered.
To the surprise of everyone except Perry, Heinz let out a loud laugh. The platypus just rolled his eyes while the others looked at the scientist strangely.
“Something you’d like to share with the group?” Stan asked.
“Xavier Onassis didn’t invent time travel,” Doof said with a grin. “The 19th century is actually a hotspot for time travelers from the future. So he just found the thing and tried to fix it.”
“That… actually makes sense,” Dipper realized, remembering how Blendin ended up in that time.
“How do you know that?” Eda questioned.
“I’ve… researched the subject,” he answered evasively. “I’m a scientist. Of course I’m gonna learn about time travel.”
Oh, the irony, he thought.
Back in the Amphibia room…
“Time travel’s real! I knew it!” Marcy cheered.
“How is that even possible?” Sasha wondered.
“I’m not sure,” Terri admitted. “The amount of energy needed to go beyond the speed of light, sending you backward in time, while also grounding you to your own universe so you don’t get lost in a branched timeline, would be more than we are currently capable of generating. It’d be easier to travel to another world like Amphibia than going to the past.”
Phineas: A time machine, huh? Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
Ferb pulls out a screwdriver.
Phineas: Right. Let's fix us a time machine. Hey, where's Perry?
Perry arrives in his lair to learn the Monogram has been frozen. So Carl tells him to go stop Doofenshmirtz.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Eda asked rhetorically. Heinz just shrugged.
Candace: (Growls, Sighs) Why do I have to endure this suffering while Phineas and Ferb are off who knows where doing who knows-- (Gasps) What are you doing?
Phineas: Fixing a time machine.
Candace: (Gasps) You broke the exhibit?! I'm telling Mom!
“You guys got permission to do that, right?” Gus asked.
“We were supposed to get permission?” Phineas responded with wide eyes.
“Oh, boy.” Everyone else just sighed.
She runs off with a piece when there’s electricity fizzing.
Candace: What are you doing? (Gasps) You broke the exhibit?! I'm telling Mom!
“What was that?” Mabel asked.
“Candace was just re-winded through time,” Dipper realized with wide eyes.
“Oh, my gosh!” the girl in question gasped. “No wonder that part of the day didn’t make any sense!”
“It shouldn’t be too bad. Worse case scenario, you're actually a few seconds younger than you should be,” Baljeet reasoned.
Isabella: Hi guys. Whatcha doin'?
Phineas: We're fixing this time machine.
Isabella: Isn't that kinda impossible?
Phineas: That's a possibility.
There were a few chuckles.
“You guys are cute,” Luz whispered to her.
“Thanks.” Then her face fell. “I wish he thought so.”
“Give it time. He will.”
Perry arrives to see Doof’s shadow already fighting someone.
“Huh?” most people went.
Heinz’s eyes widened upon realizing what this was. He shared a look with Perry and the two sighed.
“I don’t want to relive this,” he buried his head in his hands. The others just sent the pair confused looks.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh! Take that! And that! (Gasps) Perry the Platypus! I, uh, I uh, uh... There's no one else here. I mean, w-what are you doing here, Perry the Platypus?
“What's going on here? Why are you lying?” Phineas asked.
Knob jostling.
Doofenshmirtz: Heh. I have mice? I- I wouldn't go in there if I were you!
Perry blinks, walks over and opens the closet, revealing Peter the Panda.
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, I swear, I've never seen this secret agent looking panda before. (laughs) Well, there's a panda in my closet and a panda paw print on my cheek. But it's not what you think. We're not enemies, we're just bad friends.
The audience blinked at the scene.
“What… what are we watching right now?” Dipper questioned, absolutely perplexed.
“I have… no idea,” Candace answered honestly.
“Betrayer!” Mebal shouted.
An officer stops Candace for yelling.
Candace: Oh, that's right. It's a museum. I wouldn't want to WAKE anyone up!
That got a few laughs from the people around her.
“Fair point,” Willow shrugged.
They kicked her out. A boy next to her stole a Pterodactyl. Apparently they're less mad about that than yelling.
“They care more about yelling than an exhibit being stolen? Interesting,” Stan grinned, rubbing his hands together.
“Yeah,” Eda added. “Prime pickings, right there.”
“Don’t,” both their sets of kids quickly said.
“What? They clearly weren’t bothered by it since he still has the skeleton,” Pines argued.
“And I have the charm to get away with it,” the Witch spoke.
Candace: You gotta help me sneak back in! Please, please, please!
Boy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. I've got a plan so ingenious it involves military-like stealth, precision and timing.
Officer: We got us a yeller at quadrant 6!
“That’s it?!” Anne exclaimed.
“And it actually worked?” King questioned.
“Okay, that’s all I need to see,” Pines said before turning to Eda. “Clawthorne, wanna help me rob the museum?”
“Heck yeah, I do!”
Their kids just groaned.
Candace sneaks in but immediately changes course when she sees Jeremy.
There were a few snickers at her expense.
“Leave her alone,” Luz shook her head with a smile. “It’s sweet.”
“Love is beautiful!” Mabel cheered.
The teens greet each other.
Candace: They have a slushy dog here.
Jeremy: Yeah, it's new. I'm so bored. Feels like by the time my shift is over, I'll be a part of the fossil exhibit.
Candace: (Laughs) Part of the fossil exhibit, that's a good one!
“Simp,” Stan coughed.
Candace blushed while the other laughed.
Phineas and Ferb test the circuit quanta stabilizers. Candace is rewinded through time to when she was laughing at Jeremy’s joke, much to his confusion.
“Glad that finally makes sense,” Jeremy thought aloud.
“Yeah, me too,” Candace agreed, seeing all of this for the first time.
“Wow, time travel is trippy,” Anne said.
“It looks like that technology can also do more than just transport you across time. It can also your time,” Dipper observed. The Pines was writing all of this down, and back in the Shack, Ford was too.
“Fiddleford, do you think it’s possible for us to possible build such a device?”
“Maybe. But where are we gonna get the power?”
Officer: Say, aren't you a little young to be working in a museum?
Phineas: Yes. Yes I am.
Officer: Well, it's nice to see young people taking an interest in history. Can I get you boys anything? Anything at all?
There were a few laughs while others sent the guard incredulous looks.
“He’s not even bothered by you touching the exhibit?” Candace questioned.
“He wasn’t that bothered by an exhibit getting stolen. I think that tracks,” Stan said.
Phineas: Actually, there seems to be a piece missing. It looks sorta like this. Have you seen it?
Officer: Hmm. Looks familiar. I'll keep my eye out for it.
“That’s the piece Candace was holding. Is there something special about it that’s causing her to rewind?” Polly asked.
“Yes actually. It contains the power source,” Phineas answered.
“It does? What is it?” Luz questioned.
Everyone with scientific knowledge leaned in their seats.
“Sure! It’s called–” he was cut off by the silencing spell. “Whoops! Guess that’s a spoiler.”
“Aw, come on~!” all the scientists went.
Doofenshmirtz: Sorry, Perry the Platypus, I didn't want you to find out this way. Okay, here it is. Peter the Panda is my new nemesis.
Mabel gasped while the others sent the pair looks.
Doofenshmirtz: We met at an evil genius expo in Seattle, and, well, me and Peter, we just instantly disliked each other. And then, he foiled a little evil scheme of mine. And, I didn't plan it that way, it just happened.
“Wait… is this an affair?” Hop Pop questioned.
“Technically,” Heinz drawled out in discomfort.
Doofenshmirtz: It's not that I don't hate you anymore. I do, but look, I-- I just think it's time for us to, you know, take a break and start fighting other people.
“Is this a breakup?” Luz asked.
“Not a romantic one. We’re platonic,” Doof explained.
Doof and Peter go back to fighting while Perry leaves sadly.
The scientist and secret agent just slumped and looked at each other with bittersweet smiles.
Candace and the officer bump into each other and he takes the part from her.
Phineas: And last, but curcuitly not least. Heh, heh.
There were a few chuckles at the pun.
The officer is rewinded back to when he spoke to the boys.
Officer: Can I get you boys anything? Anything at all?
Phineas: Well, uh, yeah. Like I said before, we seem to be missing this piece.
Officer: Hmm. Looks familiar. I'll keep my eye out for it. Ah! Here it is!
Phineas: Cool. Thanks.
“Finally! I wanna see this time travel stuff!” Sprig cheered.
“No you don’t,” Luz whispered. Eda patted her on the shoulder.
(Song: "When We Didn’t Get Along")
♪ Without your schemes, my life it seems, is empty ♪
♪ I spent all my time keeping you from doing wrong ♪
♪ You were my only nemesis, I foiled your plans, but still I miss ♪
♪ The moments When We Didn't Get Along ♪
“What’s this feeling in my chest right now?” Polly asked with a deep frown.
“It’s sadness, Polly,” Mabel sobbed.
“I didn’t care for my nemesis. Why is this hitting me so hard?” Stan asked.
♪ So search your heart, please Dr. D, and I am sure that you will see ♪
♪ That you were always meant to be my only lifelong enemy ♪
♪ But now you're doing battle with a panda from Seattle ♪
♪ I'll miss the moments When We Didn't Get Along ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Perry hangs up his hat.
No one was taking what they were seeing well. Mabel and Luz had tears in their eyes. Most of them had deep sad frowns. Phineas and Ferb embraced their pet in comfort. Heinz sighed and looked at his frenemy.
“I’m sorry, Perry the Platypus,” he apologized. Perry nodded in gratitude.
“Wait, you quit?” Phineas asked.
Perry shrugged.
“Has that always been an option?”
The platypus nodded.
“Then why didn’t you do that when we were about to be separated?” the boy whispered.
Perry wrote his answer on a notepad. Because you and OWCA both need me.
“I guess that makes sense. We’re not done talking about this though.”
Lawrence and Linda get an audio tour and Candace gets them.
Phineas: Ferb, you got that thing working yet?
Ferb twists the light bulb onto the time machine and it starts to glow.
Candace: Gotcha! You guys are so-o-o-o-o bust--
(The time machine disappears right before she could get the words out)
“Woah~!” everyone who’d never seen time travel before went.
“Where did you go?” King asked.
“I think you mean when did they go?” Mabel smirked.
“Yeah! Did they go to the past? The future? And how far?” Sprig added in excitement.
A jungle in 300 million B.C.
The audience gasped.
“No way!” Anne exclaimed.
“You guys got to see living dinosaurs?!” Luz beamed. “That’s every child’s dream!”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Dipper said.
“Agreed!” Mabel cheered.
“What do you mean?” Anne asked.
“Uh, think about it! It’s dinosaurs,” Dipper stressed evasively.
“Oh,” her eyes widened in realization. “They’re gonna see living dinosaurs.”
“Yeah, I can see how that might be a problem,” Heinz noted.
They turned to Candace who nodded in confirmation.
Phineas and Ferb are excited. Candace is terrified.
Candace: Take me home, take me home, take me home, take me home, take me home, take me home!
Phineas: Sure, Candace. No problem.
A T-Rex smashes the Time Machine.
“NO!” the audience cried.
“Your way home!” Mabel added.
“Forget that! There’s a T-Rex right in front of them!” Wendy yelled.
“What’s a T-Rex? Some sort of predator?” Sprig asked.
“Tyrannosaurus Rex. Earth’s most infamous predator. Been extinct for 65 million years,” Baljeet explained.
“Hey, Anne? On a scale of Amphibia…?” Polly whispered.
“Heron.”
“Got it,” the Plantars all said, now a bit worried.
Perry sent his family concerned looks. He hadn’t given it much thought before, but now he was extremely worried about what they went through.
The T-Rex growls at them.
Phineas: Whatever you do, keep your voices low, and no sudden movements.
Candace screams.
Everyone just sighed.
“Honestly, I’d probably do the same,” King said.
“I have done the same,” Anne admitted.
The Dinosaur roars and chases her, completely avoiding the boys.
Phineas: Wow, it worked.
“Huh. I guess the thing about staying still and the T-Rex won’t see you is true,” Luz blinked.
“How though?” Stacy questioned.
“Probably best not to think about it,” Hop Pop said.
The boys pull out a scooter to save their sister but realize they don’t have helmets. So they use turtles.
That got a few chuckles from the group.
The T-Rex leaves a footprint that Candace falls into. It changes the footprint back in the present.
Lawrence: Hey, I don't remember seeing this part. Hmm, (Laughs) well, it looks just like Candace. Hey, honey, you've gotta see this!
The audience gasped.
“Changing the past can alter the future!” Luz exclaimed. “I thought everything was set in stone.”
“You mean like in Set Path Theory,” Heinz asked.
“Yeah. But it looks like that’s not true. So, that means going back in time is actually very dangerous.”“No, this is pretty much it,” Phineas
“Let’s just be glad it’s nothing too consequential,” Dipper said.
“Right. Uh wait, you guys aren’t gonna alter the past in any other way, are you?”
“This was pretty much the extent of it,” Phineas answered.
“That’s a relief.” Then a thought struck the Noceda. Wait… could I go back and stop Belos?
Phineas and Ferb run over the footprint.
Lawrence: Look, I'm telling you, it's the most peculiar thing I've ever seen. It looks just like Candace.
Linda: Hmm. That's not very nice, dear.
There were some chuckles.
“Was that the Phineas and Ferb Effect?” Gus asked.
“Probably,” Baljeet shrugged.
They save Candace from the T-Rex and eventually crash into some vines and meet a Brachiosaurus.
Phineas: Hey, what a stroke of luck!
“Incredible,” Eda breathed.
“Wow. Who knew the Human world had such amazing creatures?” Sprig beamed.
“Me! I did!” Gus grinned.
Phineas: Wow, isn't this amazing?
Candace: You guys better figure out a way to get us home. 'Cause if we don't get home, I can't bust you for this!
“Yeah, you’re justifiably upset here,” Willow sympathized.
Phineas points out the footprint is the very same footprint that's fossilized in the museum.
Candace: Great. But how does that help us get out of prehistoric times?
Phineas: Watch and learn.
He starts writing in it.
“Oh, that is clever,” Eda praised.
“Thanks.”
Back in the present...
Isabella: It looks like a T-Rex footprint to me. Hey, look! A message! "Time machine destroyed! Stuck in 300,000,000 BC. Please help! Signed Phineas, Ferb, and Candaaaaaccccce." Our friends need our help. Please turn to the "Time travel" section of your Fireside Girls handbook. Hey, has anyone seen Perry?
“Why is time travel in your handbook?” Mabel asked.
The girls just shrugged, not knowing the answer.
Perry made a mental note to get those girls a nice gift.
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! ♪
Peter sends Doof crashing into his photo.
Doofenshmirtz: I remember when this picture was taken. It was the happiest day of my life.
It was the day he met Perry! His Nemesis!
“Aw~!” Mabel and Luz went.
“What exactly is you two’s relationship again? I still don’t understand it,” Hop Pop asked.
(Song: "My Nemesis")
♪ My neme neme, ooh, my neme neme neme ♪
♪ My neme neme, ooh, my neme nemesis ♪
A few of them actually found themselves bobbing their heads to the beat and singing the main lyrics. They couldn’t help it. It was a good song.
“Oh, I get it! You two actually love fighting each other,” Polly realized.
“Exactly!”
“I can relate to this somewhat,” Stan said. “Messing with Blubs and Durland may not be much of a challenge, but it’s still fun every now and then.”
“Same here with the Coven Scouts. Ah, I just love giving them the slip and leaving destruction in my wake,” Eda sighed.
“Those were always fun,” King agreed.
“Some of those were really hard to pull off,” Luz added. “Like that body swap.”
“Oh, that body swap was crazy!” Eda grinned.
Glad to know you all finally get it. Especially now that this little guy is a part of it,” Heinz beamed, pointing at King. “Just promise not to be as beastly as yesterday. Those scratches and bites hurt.”
“I’ll try.”
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ My neme neme, ooh, my neme neme neme ♪
Wait, I- I forgot what comes after the bridge. (Electricity fizzing) Peter the Panda, what are you doing? You're disassembling my Freeze-Inator ray? While—While I'm singing about my feelings? You! You're dead to me! You're dead to me!
“Oh, that’s just cold,” Gretchen frowned.
“Eh? He’s a bad guy,” Anne shrugged.
The Fireside Girls finish building the machine.
Isabella: All right, team, that should do it. Pile in. Okay, let 'er rip!
It starts making ties.
“Huh?” the audience let out in confusion.
Isabella: Hold it. I think I know what the problem is. It says "Tie Machine". He left off the "M".
“How did that… you know what? I’m not gonna question it,” Dipper deadpanned.
“Good on you, Bro Bro.”
“Actually, what happened was we read ‘tie’ as ‘time’, so when we looked up the stuff on the time machine, we found ones for a ‘tie machine’ without realizing it,” Isabella explained.
“I guess that makes sense,” the Pines boy nodded.
Perry and Doof have been brought on to Dr. Feelbetter’s talk show for nemesis therapy. He’s not exactly… good at it.
“Ugh. It’s one of these shows,” Luz complained.
“They still exist?” Anne asked, raising an eyebrow.
“What is this? The late 2000’s?” Wendy joked, earning a few laughs.
Heinz frowned in confusion at that comment, only to shake his head.
“Wow. That’s a lot of evil scientists,” Candace observed. Then she sneered. “Look at them. All those bustable villains.”
“Not only that, but there are a lot of animals in the audience. And they’re all agents,” Stacy noted.
“Is that every pet in town?” Isabella questioned in surprise. The audience was silent at that. Then the girl paused. Wait… is Pinky an agent?
Apparently Peter the Panda is here, much to Doof’s surprise. He walks in receiving boos from the audience.
“Figures. A lot of villains there,” King shrugged.
Candace: Ugh! I can't believe I'm just stuck here! I can't believe I'll—I'll never get to get my driver's license, or—or wear my dream dress to the prom! (Sighs) But most of all, I can't believe I'll never see Jeremy again.
She draws a heart that says "C+J" in the dirt.
Everyone currently in a relationship sent Candace sympathetic looks. The thought of never seeing their significant others again was heartbreaking.
Luz felt a pain of guilt in her chest. She had planned on ending things with Amity because she thought she only brought her Sweet Potato pain. Thank God, her mother straightened her out. And after the night they spent cuddling, Luz couldn’t believe how she had ever even considered being apart from her.
God, I can’t wait until Amity’s here with me. My beautiful cotton candy haired goddess.
The redhead leaned into her boyfriend, who responded by wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of his girlfriend’s head. Many of the others let out sounds of adoration at the couple, mainly the three shippers. Her brothers smiled at them, ever grateful for how happy Jeremy made their sister. Stacy had a pleased smirk. Dipper couldn’t help but smile as well, happy that his new friend was in a good relationship.
The boys have chosen to exercise patience.
Candace: Lovely. Well, I suppose things can't get any worse.
Literally everyone in the audience slapped their foreheads.
“You did not just say that,” Luz deadpanned.
“I know, I know. Don’t tempt fate with that trope,” Candace sighed.
It starts raining.
Candace: Oh, look. The world's first bad hair day.
“I don’t know, girl. You actually look fine,” Wendy praised.
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s a good look on you,” Anne nodded.
“You think so?”
“The cute blonde seems to think so,” Wendy smirked. Candace turned to see that Jeremy indeed was staring at the image of her with wet hair, seemingly transfixed.
“Huh. Maybe I don’t need to worry about my appearance so much,” she smiled.
“Wait, does that actually count as the world’s first bad hair day?” Mabel asked.
“I guess so,” her brother shrugged.
“So is she also the world’s first redhead?” Holly wondered.
“Ooh! The world’s first woman is a redhead. That’s pretty cool,” Luz praised.
“I’ll drink to that,” Wendy raised her Pitt Cola before fist bumping Eda and Candace.
The T-Rex approaches.
Perry’s heart was racing as he watched that dinosaur get closer to his family.
The time machine appears with Isabella and the Fireside Girls.
Isabella: Hi, guys. What'cha doooin'?
Phineas: Just waiting for you.
“Aw, that’s cute,” Soos smiled.
Isabella: You know, there's an "M" in "Time Machine".
Phineas: Yeah, sorry.
Candace blinked upon what she was seeing. The way her brother was looking at Isabella… it only confirmed her suspicions.
“Hey, Mabel? Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“Oh, yeah! That’s the look of a boy who’s got it bad for someone,” the brunet smirked.
“Too bad he doesn’t know it,” she complained.
“Give him time.”
“How much? Ten years,” Candace rolled her eyes.
“I betcha he’ll realize his feelings by the end of the day.”
“Is that so? Wanna make a bet of it?”
“Ten bucks!”
“You’re on.”
Ferb pulls the lever… and nothing happens. They look to see a plug. Canface picks it up in frustration.
Candace: You mean to tell me you built a time machine that has to be plugged in?!
“ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!” half the audience exclaimed.
“That is the worst idea possible! What made you think that would work?!” Dipper yelled.
“Dude, maybe you oughta calm down?” Soos said, gesturing to the Fireside Girls who had their heads bowed.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed. They nodded in gratitude.
“I don’t get it. I thought the purple piece was the power source,” Polly said.
“No, no, it’s the power source for time travel. The machine itself needs electricity to give it a little kick so it can actually use the stuff,” Doofenshmirtz explained.
The T-Rex roars.
Oh, put a sock in it!
“Hey, you’re pretty fearless when you’re angry,” Eda noted. Then she cupped her chin and hummed as she watched the teen curiously. Might want to keep and eye on her.
Phineas: Candace, no sudden movements.
Candace: What does it matter? We're all doomed anyway. I mean, where are we supposed to find electricity in DINOSAUR LAND?!
She gets struck by lightning and they’re sent back to the present. And she’s perfectly fine with only a bit of soot and white streaks of hair that immediately go away, she seems fine.
The audience had wide eyes and all turned them to Candace.
“Are you okay, dude?” Soos asked her.
“Well, yeah. I’m alright.”
“But you got struck by lightning!” Gus exclaimed.
Perry went over to her and quickly looked her over.
“Perry, I’m fine! Really.”
“How did you recover so quickly though?!” Dipper grinned in excitement. “This is something worth investigating!”
“Hmm. Are you certain you do not have your own personal phenomenon going on?” Soos queried.
Candace: Boy, that was a close one. Lucky for them I was there or we'd still be trying to escape that—T-REX!
The beast was brought with them!
“Aw, crud!” Stan cursed.
“Run, kid!” Eda screamed.
Needing the comfort, the platypus took the hands of his owners.
Dr. Feelbetter tells Doofenshmirtz to tell Perry how he feels.
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, I-I'm so sorry I hurt you; When I wasn't actually trying to hurt you. If you give me another chance, I promise to hurt you in the right way. With cartoonish physical violence, and elaborate traps constructed out of strange things I purchased over the internet. What do you say?
Crowd: Aw.
“Aw!” Mabel and Luz went.
“Is it weird that I find this sweet?” Anne asked.
“Nope,” the two girls answered.
Dr. Feelbetter: Well, what do you say, Perry the Platypus?
Perry puts on his fedora.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you, Perry the Platypus.
“Honestly? I’m glad,” Stan admitted.
“Really?” Heinz questioned.
“Yeah. I like watching him beat you up.”
“Me too!” King added.
“Me three!” Polly cheered.
The others made sounds of agreement.
“Oh, gee. Don’t I feel grateful,” the scientist sarcastically stated.
Doofenshmirtz: Now!
He laughs maniacally as he traps all the agents to their seats.
“WHAT?!” most people exclaimed.
“Dang. I did not see that coming,” Anne said.
“Plot twist,” Sprig added.
Doofenshmirtz: I can't believe that worked! You know, Peter the Panda thought that he had disassembled my Freeze-Inator ray, but that was just a decoy! Bring in the real one, boys! You see, my plan was simple; assemble all the best secret agents in one room, and then turn them all into statues for my giant chess board! (Laughs) Hit it!
Dr. Feelbetter flips a switch.
Everyone stared in silence at the man who had a proud grin on his face.
“You son of a sea slug. This was your plan all along!” Polly accused.
“Yes it was! And one of my best ones actually.”
“You are a cold, calculating, wicked man,” Mabel glared.
“Hey! I didn’t actually intend to hurt Perry the Platypus’ feelings! Still though, it got results.”
Perry couldn’t care less about this topic at the moment. Right now he was more concerned about the monster that was chasing one of his humans.
The T-Rex chases Candace throughout the museum.
Candace: (Screaming) Mom, Dad, don't go in there! There's a live tyrannosaur --
Linda: Ha, she's got your imagination, hon.
“Listen to her!” everyone exclaimed.
Feeling weird about all the recent events, Heinz decides to say goodbye to Peter. The Panda responds by striking him with his chair.
“That’s what you get,” Wendy laughed.
Perry hops out through the back of his chair, knocks over the Freeze-Inator, causing its blast to hit a satellite, and zap the dinosaur. The Flynn-Fletchers go in to find that the T-Rex has been frozen and believe it to be a statue.
Perry sighed in relief and was suddenly embraced by the redhead.
“Thank you, Perry! You saved our lives!”
The platypus smiled and hugged her back.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait! Where's my remote?
Perry smashes the remote with his chair, releasing the agents. A massive fight breaks out.
“Aw, heck yeah!” Polly cheered.
“Now this is a brawl!” Eda grinned.
“Little guys rule!” King also cheered.
“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan added.
“Wow. Good thing they’re on our side,” Dipper said.
“Agreed!” his sister agreed.
Phineas: Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. There you are, Candace. History is so exciting. We actually went back in time.
Lawrence: I know exactly what you mean, Phin. These exhibits make the past seem so real.
Phineas: Hey, there you are, Perry.
There were a few chuckles at the misunderstanding.
Jeremy: Hey, Candace. This fossil is my favorite in the museum.
He points to the “C+J” she made.
“Aw~!” Mabel, Luz, and Anne went.
“Was that always there, or did it only exist after you time traveled?” Willow questioned.
“I… don’t know,” Candace admitted.
“Then does that mean you were meant to time travel?” Dipper wondered.
“If that’s the case, then is Set Path Theory Real?” Heinz added.
“But what about everything that happened to the footprint? That was the Grandfather Paradox,” Baljeet said.
“Is it possible… that both are true?” Soos pondered.
The group of science experts thought it over.
“Well, the Multiverse is real, meaning that anything is possible,” they looked to see that it was Hooty of all people. “So, if there is a universe for every possible outcome, then perhaps every universe has its own set path. Meaning that the Grandfather Paradox occurs because it’s supposed to. Therefore, those three traveling to the past was a predetermined event brought on by the sheer randomness of existence.”
Dead silence filled the room once the bird tube had stopped talking.
“He’s being creepily smart again,” Stan complained.
“Death itself is in the other room! Hoot!”
“Say what?!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
“And there’s the craziness again.”
Luz sat still in thought. After a long moment she let out a heavy sigh. The thought that just maybe Hooty was right, that giving Belos the light glyph had been unavoidable no matter what was… comforting. It made her feel at peace. So, she hoped above all else that her friend was right.
Well, not above all. Marrying Amity is at the top of my list.
Jeremy: Huh. That's funny. I never knew cavemen wore safety helmets.
“Did you guys influence the past?” Luz asked.
“Probably,” Phineas shrugged.
In bed, Lawrence has fun with the audio tour. Linda looks at him endearingly.
“You’re parents are a cute couple.
“What about that dinosaur?! Is it still going to be a problem?” Hop Pop panicked.
“No, it's still frozen. And alive,” Ferb answered.
“Say what?!”
“Really? Hmmm,” Stan thought it over before grinning. “Heinz! Let’s build a fortified pen, unfreeze that thing, and charge people through the roof to see it!”
“Brilliant! I can get started as soon as we get back.”
“Time for the next one.”
Toy To the World
An ad for the Shimmy Jimmy toy plays on screen.
“What the heck is this?” Eda questioned.
“Oh, yeah. Climbing toys. I forgot these were a thing,” Wendy said.
It’s Candace’s first day at the Har D Har Toy Store. She calls Stacy.
Candace: Hi, Stacy. Yeah, it's so cool. The first day of my first job…
“Hey, first job! Nice!” Anne congratulated her.
“It feels good doesn’t it?” Wendy smirked. “I remember when this guy hired me,” she thumbed towards Stan.
“Uh, well… I may have had a different motivation than self accomplishment,” Candace admitted, already knowing what they were about to see.
And Jeremy works at the Slushy Dog right across the isle!
“Oh, that makes sense,” Sprig said as everyone laughed.
“Look, Dipping Dots. She’s just like you,” Mabel teased her twin.
“Please don’t mention that. I want to keep my dignity intact with our new friends,” he practically begged.
She has to wear a silly hat. And Jeremy sees her. And her family are her first customers. She’s as enthused as you think.
The audience chuckled at her clear disdain for the situation.
She takes out a Shimmy Jimmy toy and demonstrates its climbing function.
Phineas: Seems like that would get old really quick.
Candace: Oh, like you geniuses can make a better toy.
Phineas: I know what we're doin' today.
“You guys are gonna make a new toy?” Polly questioned eagerly.
“Alright! Let’s see what kinda toy you make,” King rubbed his paws together.
They need a toy so stupidly simple, so basically bland, so idiotically uncomplicated... that it can do absolutely anything. Ferb has already started.
“Interesting,” the tadpole nodded.
Phineas: Say, where's Perry?
Action music as Perry pulls on a screw hook in the hardware store. The wall revolves and he arrives in his lair.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing those secret entrances,” Mabel said brightly.
Major Monogram: Ah, there you are, Agent P. We suspect that your nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, has been pilfering bricks from buildings across the Tri-State Area.
“You building something, or…?” Stan asked.
“You’ll see. This was actually one of my better plans,” Heinz smirked.
♪ Doo-dooby-doo-ba ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-ba-doo-dooby-doo-ba ♪
♪ Perry! ♪
“Huh. That’s new,” Eda noted.
“Yeah, I don’t that beginning pert was there before,” Wendy agreed.
At the Har D Har Toy Corp. headquarters, the Board is having a meeting on the absolute failure that are their climbing toys.
Board Member #1: What we need is a fresh new toy!
(Phineas and Ferb, pushing a cart, enters the room)
Phineas: Greetings, movers and shakers. I'm Phineas and that's Ferb. And do we have a toy for you.
J.B.: Hold on there. Aren't you a bit young to be toy designers?
Phineas: Well... I don't think so.
“Good on you, kid,” Stan nodded. “Word of advice to all you youngsters: there’s no l;aw saying you can’t start a business or become an entrepreneur at your age.”
“Really? Huh. Thanks, Mr. Pines,” Stacy said.
“You're welcome. That’ll be ten dollars,” he responded, earring a few exasperated chuckles from the audience.
“But you already gave it to me. So, I don’t have to pay you anything,” she smirked, causing him to sigh.
They introduce their toy…
Phineas: Perry!
It’s the Perry Inaction Figure!
“Aw~! You made a toy based on your pet?!” Mabel cooed.
“That’s so sweet!” Luz gushed.
Perry smiled fondly. It always warmed his heart whenever his boys’ amazing projects were inspired by him.
Board Member #2: Uh, what does it do?
Phineas: That's the beauty part! It does absolutely nothing! Now it can be anything we want!
“That’s brilliant! You could promise the moon without really promising anything. I love it!” Stan grinned.
J.B.: Just a minute. We could promise the moon without really promising anything. I love it!
The audience burst into laughter while Stan just blinked before shrugging it off.
“This just shows I’m right.”
Most of the Board is in agreement.
Board Member #1: Are you all crazy? It's just a thick, stupid block of wood! And it doesn't do any- AHHH!!
J.B. pushes a button and his chair becomes a trap door. Water splashing and animal growling can be heard. The Marketing Employee gets dropped in.
Marketing Employee: I love it! What are we talking about?
Everyone’s jaws dropped.
“Did he just Dr. Evil that man?!” Wendy exclaimed.
“Is he… dead?” Mabel questioned quietly.
“I’m sure he’s fine, Sweety,” Stan lied.
“Really? Sounds like he just got fed to a bunch of alligators,” Sprig said.
“Sprig!” his family chastised as the other kids were horrified. The frog boy winced when he finally noticed this.
“Oof! Sorry.”
“You really need to stop doing that, man,” Anne frowned at her brother.
“I don’t want you two to ever go there again. Got it?” Candace told her brothers sternly, to which they nodded. Then she turned to the other kids in their group. “That goes for the rest of you.”
“That would probably be for the best,” Baljeet nodded.
“Wow, the business world is brutal. I love it!” Polly beamed.
J.B. immediately agrees to produce their toy, put the boys in charge, and triples their salaries.
Eda let out a long whistle.
“That’s a pretty sweet deal.”
The factory is… really depressing.
“This is pretty sad,” Anne frowned.
Phineas: Time for a makeover.
“MAKEOVER!” Mabel and even a few people from the Gravity Falls room cheered.
"Quirky Worky Song" plays in the background as they pretty much turn the factory into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. It even has a chocolate river and Umpa Lumpas. AKA: the Ba-dink-a-dinks.
“What the heck?” Luz questioned.
“Any chance that those guys are from the Demon Realm?” Dipper asked.
“Probably,” King shrugged.
Phineas: Who the heck are you guys?
The Ba-dink-a-dinks: We are the Ba-dink-a-dinks!
A Ba-dink-a-dink: You set us free when you remodeled the factory. We'd been trapped in the basement for years, making foam peanuts and snipping the tabs off of plastic.
The Ba-dink-a-dinks: We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers!
Phineas: Okay, then. Carry on.
The audience blinked at what they just heard.
“Oh, we definitely banished those guys,” Eda said.
“Eh, I can’t really blame them. Even the most timid of people will become violent when pushed far enough,” Hop Pop reasoned.
Marketing Employee: This one is dynamite. (Pulls out his newest poster) Secret Agent Perry the Platypus. Huh?
Phineas is not impressed.
The audience burst into laughter at the sight.
“Oh, the irony,” Heinz laughed.
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Annex! ♪
Perry arrives to be caught in a brick trap.
“Simple yet efficient,” Soos noted.
Heinz shows a precise 1/100th scale replica of the Tri-State Area.
“Your arts and crafts are amazing!” Mabel praised.
“Thank you! It’s nice to know that someone appreciates it!” he said whilst glaring at Perry the Platypus.
Doofenshmirtz: Now, with all the bricks that I've, uh... (chuckles) collected, I'll construct... the Great Wall of the Tri-State Area! Thereby cutting off the citizens from the rest of the world! (laughs) And how do people get in and out of the city, you ask? With this! Official Doofenshmirtz-approved toll booth! I haven't really worked out a price point yet, but it won't be cheap, I can tell you that!
“That is a good idea!” Stan nodded. “Soos! Write that down! We’ll find a way to use it.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Pines!”
“What?! You’re stealing my idea?!” Heinz accused.
“Don’t think of it as stealing. Think of it as fair use.”
Perry the Inaction Figure is now being sold at the Har D Har Toy Store. Candace is now wearing a platypus suit.
Store Manager: Fantastic, you look like number 1!
Candace: I feel like number 2.
There were a few snickers from the group.
“Go ahead. Laugh it up,” Candace said with a sour look, cupping her head with both hands. Then she felt a pat on the back from Dipper and Jeremy respectively. She already knew why her boyfriend did it, but what really surprised her was the Pines. She turned to see her new friend looking up at her with a sympathetic frown.
“That must have been rough,” he said.
“You have no idea.” Then she perked up a little. “Or maybe you do.”
Store Manager: That's the spirit! Now, go out there and bring us some customers!
Candace: Oh, this is so embarrassing. I'm just so glad that Jeremy's on break. If he saw me in this thing, I think I'd plotz.
He sees her.
Dipper and Luz winced in sympathy.
Candace: This isn't worth $3.50 an hour.
“3.50?!” all the humans exclaimed.
“Kid, you got ripped off,” Stan said.
“What?” the redhead asked.
“Candace, the minimum wage is 7.25 dollars an hour,” Anne explained.
“You’re kidding.”
“We’re not,” Wendy shook her head.
“Candace screamed into her hands.
“What’s this minimum wage?” Hop Pop asked.
“Yeah? What is it?” Gus added.
The humans just sent them concerned looks.
The boys’ toy makes the news, so Candace calls their mom.
“Hmm. Think we oughta let those boys in on our little business arrangement?” Heinz asked Stan.
“Couldn’t hurt,” Stan shrugged. “They could at least make some nice merch.”
Perry pushes over the bricks, freeing himself from his trap. Doof really should have cemented it.
That got a few snorts from the audience.
“Ya think?” King snickered.
Doofenshmirtz: (chuckles) You can't stop me, Perry the Platypus! You couldn't stop me with a billion Perry the Platypuses!
Doofenshmirtz falls from a skylight and into a container of Perry the inaction figures.
Doofenshmirtz: screams) Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off of me!
The audience burst into laughter as they watched the scientist continue to scream in terror at all the toys.
“Oh, that is just perfect,” Luz said, whipping away a tear.
“Agreed!” Mabel chirped.
Doof ends up getting packaged with the inaction figures.
♪ Agent P! ♪
“How did you get out?” Sprig laughed.Heinz just grumbled, making the frog boy laugh even harder.
Perry uses a rope to lower himself into the factory and freezes when he hears Phineas's voice.
Phineas: I think the sale projections are --Hey, people, (picks Perry up) I thought we agreed we weren't gonna do this. (tosses Perry over his shoulder) How many times do I have to say it? (Perry lands in a dumpster with all the rejections.) He's a platypus. They don't do anything.
“Sorry, boy,” Phineas apologized.
“Wow. That was close,” Anne noted.
“You guys almost found out he was a secret agent!” Soos added.
“How do you guys find out?” Dipper questioned.
The Danville group was silent for a long moment.
“That’s a very large spoiler,” Ferb responded.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Perry looks around, trying to find where the voice is coming from. He finally shrugs then leaves; deciding that the mission is over. Doof’s box is then shipped on a boat, heading overseas.
Everyone laughed again while Heinz just grumbled.
J.B.: So, how does everyone like my new suit.
Ferb: Um, that man isn't wearing any clothes.
Everyone looked away in disgust.
“Yeesh! He’s almost as bad as you, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel complained.
“Hey! At least I still wear a shirt!”
J.B. wants to know the boys’ next big idea. But it looks like they’re done with toy making.
“Why’d you guys stop? You could have made even more money,” Stan questioned.
“Well, it’s not about the money. It’s about having fun. And making toys had run its course. So, we’re on to the next thing,” Phineas explained. Ferb nodded in agreement.
“You really are kids, huh?”
J.B.: Oh, that's just great! Any of the rest of you geniuses have an idea?
Marketing Employee: Ah, I found this in my office with a pile of shattered glass, J.B.
J.B.: What's this, a brick? (pauses) That's brilliant!
“Excuse me?” Wendy questioned, baffled.
“They’re not actually gonna sell bricks as toys, are they?” Luz asked.
The boys see an ad promoting Brick.
“They did,” she blinked.
Phineas: Now, who would buy a brick for a toy?
Ferb: It does absolutely nothing.
“He he! That’s pretty ironic!” Soos laughed.
Store Manager: These brick toys are selling like pancakes.
“What?!” almost everyone exclaimed.
“We’re gonna be rich!” Stan and Heinz cheered.
“If they’ll buy bricks, they’ll buy anything!” Stan grinned.
Candace is now wearing a brick costume.
Jeremy: Hey, Candace. The things they make us wear, huh? At least you don't have a weenie on your head!
Candace: (sighs) He understands me.
“Aw~!” the shippers once again cooed.
“Okay, so this one was just a bit of fun,” Willow surmised.
“Those Ba-dink-a-dinks have me worried though. They didn’t become a problem, did they?” Hop Pop asked.
“Not that we know of,” Phineas admitted.
“Your pet might want to keep and eye out for them,” Dipper said, to which the platypus agreed.
“This next one is very good episode,” the host began. “However, there may be some… unexpected revelations.”
“What kind of revelations?” Jeremy asked.
That made the host sigh deeply.
“You’ll want to brace yourself.”
The young man’s face contorted in confusion before he shook it off.
One Good Scare Ought to Do It!
Candace is rehearsing calling Jeremy with a book of lines and a banana.
The audience snickered while Candace laughed nervously. Jeremy just shook his head with a smile.
“Dipper! She is just like you!” she gasped and whispered. “She even does her own list thing!”
He was about to reprimand her for bringing that up before he realized that his twin actually had a point. And that made him smile.
Linda: Honey, could I interrupt for just a sec?
Candace: Why, Jeremy Johnson, did you just call me "Honey"?
Linda: No, Candace.
Everyone was laughing now.
“Titan, you are so smitten,” Eda shook her head fondly.
“Would you like it if I called you honey?” Jeremy asked his girlfriend. That immediately made her blush brightly.
“Oh–w-well, I–uh–I–uh–I…” Candace stammered, seeming to have a system error from how flustered she is.
In the backyard…
Phineas: Ladies and Platypuses, introducing the latest party craze to sweep the nation: The amazing mariachi tree!
“What is this?” Sprig gasped in awe as he heard the music.
“That is called mariachi music. One of the best from the Human World in my opinion,” Gus smirked.
“Ah. There truly is nothing like it,” Isabella sighed with a smile.
“Its popularity is not limited to Mexico and the U.S. One of the best mariachi bands in the world is actually from Ukraine of all places,” Dipper informed them.
“Wow! That is really cool!”
Ferb accidentally falls backward, causing the rest of them to hit the ground.
“Oh~!” the audience winced in sympathy.
“Ow. Okay,” Soos added.
“That looks like it hurt. Hoot!”
“Yeah, we could have planned that better,” Phienas admitted.
Isabella: (walks in) Hi, Phineas.
Phineas: Oh. Hi, Isabella.
Isabella: Whatcha do-- (Hiccups)
The interruption actually surprised a few people.
“Huh. Didn’t see that coming,” Stan said.
Those hiccups have been driving her crazy all morning. Phineas decides they will devote their day to curing her.
“Aw, that’s so sweet of you!” Luz gushed.
“Thanks,” the triangle headed boy smiled.
Meanwhile, his sister sent him a curious look.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
Perry goes in a trash can… and comes back out with trash all over him before heading into the other one.
The audience laughed loudly at that one. Especially Doofenshmirtz.
“Oh, yes! That was so satisfying!” he sighed, whipping away a tear.
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is on the move. We tracked him to these coordinates when we suddenly lost his signal. We have two scenarios to explain his disappearance. First, that magical elves have caused Dr. Doofenshmirtz to vanish to the land of angry corn people. The second, is that he may be on his secret, hideout-shaped island with the initial "D" carved into it that satellites found in the exact, spot, where he... vanished... uh, you know what? Uh, forget the magical elves thing. Way off base with that. Anyway, on your way, Agent P.
Everyone either just blinked or sent the old man flat looks.
“How was that first one ever an option?!” Adyson exclaimed incredulously.
“Land of Corn people? Is that real or is he just being weird?” King asked.
“Neither would surprise me at this point,” Hop Pop sighed.
Song: "Perry the Platypus Theme"
♪ Doo be doo be doo ba (X4) ♪
♪ Perry! ♪
“Are we getting a full song?! Alright!” Sprig cheered.
“Yeah! Let’s hear Perry’s song!” Phineas beamed.
♪ He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action ♪
♪ Doo be doo be doo ba, doo be doo be doo ba ♪
♪ He's a furry little flatfoot who'll never flinch from a fray-ay-ay ♪
Most of the audience was quite engaged in what they were hearing. The Fireside Girls sang along with the chorus while the others bobbed their heads to the beat.
“This song is so catchy,” Anne praised.
♪ He's got more that just mad skill ♪
♪ He's got a beaver tail and a bill ♪
“Ooh. I like those lyrics,” Mabel chirped.
Hmm. I wonder if I’ll get a full song at some point, King thought. What will my lyrics be? “He’s got a furry tail and a squeal”?
♪ And the women swoon whenever they hear him say… ♪
Perry chatters, making several women faint on the spot.
Half the audience’s jaws dropped while the other just laughed at the scene.
“Dang. Little guy’s got game,” Eda smirked.
“Oh, my goodness. What a charmer,” Mabel said.
“H-…how?” Candace questioned.
“I’m not sure what to make of this,” Dipper spoke in a daze.
“WHAT?!” Stan shouted at the top of his lungs after finally breaking out of his stupor. “You mean to tell me that an animal is better at getting ladies than I am?! I don't believe this!”
That made the rest of the group finally laugh.
“People like platypuses,” Phineas shrugged.
Everyone then turned to the platypus himself and saw that he was looking at all of them with a sly smirk. Then he tipped his hat before returning his attention to the screen.
“This is weird on so many levels,” Candace said quietly.
“Meh. I’ve seen weirder,” Wendy shrugged.
♪ He's Perry! ♪
♪ Perry the Platypus! ♪
Major Monogram: But you can call him Agent P.
♪ Perry! ♪
Major Monogram: I said you can call him Agent P.
♪ Agent P! ♪
“That was awesome!” Phineas cheered as he and Ferb and their friends clapped and cheered. Perry just stood up and took a bow.
“Dang, your pet is really cool,” Anne praised.
Phineas suggests that they try to scare Isabella’s hiccups out. She shares that a haunted house would work.
Phineas: That's it! Ferb and I are gonna make you the scariest haunted house ever! (Organ) With zombies, and werewolves, and ghosts, and vampires, and witches!
“Let me get this straight,” Dipper began. “You built an entire haunted house just to cure her hiccups?”
“Well, yeah. Either go big or go home,” Phineas answered. “Plus, it’s Isabella. She’s my best friend.”
“Aw. Phineas, ” the raven haired girl smiled. “Thank you.”
“Hey, I’m sure any other friend would do the same.”
What the two kids didn’t notice was that a few members of the audience were shaking their heads.
“Yeah, no,” Eda whispered with a smirk. “People don’t go to those lengths for just friends.”
“Agreed,” Mabel agreed.
Candace: Phineas! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my dead body.
Phineas: (Dracula voice) That's the idea. Blah!
That got a few snickers from the audience.
Candace: That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling Mom. (she slams the door and opens it again) And I am NOT using the banana this time!
(Pause.)
Phineas: You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?
Everyone laughed at that.
“The context is what makes it funny,” Stacy sighed.
Candace calls the number her mom left her, only to discover that she’s now on the phone with Jeremy!
Candace: We seem to be breaking up. I-I'm going into a tunnel... Sunspots, I-- ¡No habla español!
Dipper and Luz gave her comforting smiles as the girl buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.
“If it makes you feel better,” Jeremy began. “I was just as nervous.”
“You were?” she questioned, looking up at her boyfriend.
“Oh, yeah,” he nodded. “How can I not be? You’re so cool it’s kinda intimidating.”
She sat up straighter after that comment.
♪ Doofenshmirtz's hideout-shaped island! ♪
Perry drops from a plane and glides to the roof and climbs in. As he is looking around he is trapped by a crate.
Heinz pretends to be surprised and then proceeds to show him a series of diagrams about this plan to trap him.
“See how capable I am when I plan ahead?” Doof smirked.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this… but he’s right. We’ve seen it twice now,” Eda sighed.
“You kinda overdid it with that last part,” Wendy said.
“Eh, I just wanted to rub it in,” the scientist said.
Doofenshmirtz: You see Perry the Platypus, this secret hideout doesn't actually belong to me. It belonged to my mentor, Professor Destructicon, Kevin, to his friends. Sadly, he was just captured in the midst of his latest plan to set fire to the sun!
Silence fell on the group as they processed this information.
“I… what?” Luz questioned in disbelief.
“You can’t be serious,” Dipper deadpanned.
“I’m not,” Doof sighed.
“But… but it’s a giant ball of fire,” Baljeet added.
“Why? Just… what would even be the point?” Stacy queried.
“This guy was your mentor, right?” Stan asked.
“Yes.”
“Yeah, I think I know where some of your incompetence comes from.”
“Please tell me you’re not about to continue his plan?” Mabel almost begged.
Doofenshmirtz: But before they locked him away, Kevin asked a favor of me: To prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all its secrets, would I please SET FIRE TO THE SUN! And I was like, dude, you really got to let that one go, it's-it's a ball of fire! It makes no sense.
Everyone sighed in relief.
“Thank goodness our teacher isn’t that much of an idiot,” Stacy relaxed.
So he asked me instead to simply destroy his hide-out, which I will now do, using my new Disintevaporator. And you, Perry the Platypus, will now be disintevaporated along with it!
“Wait, what?! You actually tried to kill him?!” Phineas yelled.
“Well… Ish?” Heinz chuckled sheepishly.
“Dude,” Anne glared.
“What?! It’s no big deal! I blow up all the time!”
“You’re exceptional,” Eda said.
“…Fair point.”
Candace calls again and is answered by Jeremy’s sister Suzy this time.
“Aw, your sister’s so cute,” Mabel gushed.
“Just listen to her voice. She sounds so sweet,” Luz added.
“Yeah, that’s my sister,” Jeremy smiled. That immediately turned into a frown when he saw Candace looking down, wringing her hands. “Candace?”
“Jeremy, this next part… you’re not gonna like what you’ll see.”
His frown deepened. What was he gonna see.?
Candace: Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you on the--
Suzy: You called for Jeremy, didn't you?
Candace: Jeremy? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Suzy: You say you want your Mom, but you really want Jeremy. Isn't that right?
The audience blinked, caught off guard by the little girl’s complete shift in tone. But none were more surprised than her own brother.
“Uh, what?”
Candace: That's not true.
Suzy: I'm sorry, (Paper crinkling) We seem to be breaking up.
Candace: Stop crinkling paper! I know that trick!
“She’s a lot smarter than she looks,” Gus observed, still a little put off.
“And in a bad way, dude,” Soos said.
Suzy: Bye bye.
Candace: Wait, wait, wait! It's true. I want to speak to Jeremy.
Suzy: I thought so. (At Jeremy) Jeremy, some girl's on the phone for you! (Back to Candace) But never, ever forget, I am, and always will be Jeremy's favorite girl. Got it?
Silence reigned over the room once again.
“The kid scares me,” Eda admitted.
Jeremy just stared at his sister, not even sure if he was actually seeing what he was seeing.
Jeremy invites her over, causing Candace to scream in delight.
Phineas: That was great, Ferb. But you should really save those screams for later, when the house is up and running.
The audience chuckled, grateful for the distraction.
Candace: Uh, I-- I mean, sure.
Jeremy: Cool. See you in about 20 minutes?
He hangs up and Candace immediately faints.
Everyone laughed while Candace blushed.
“Girl, you have got it bad!” Anne smirked at her.
Heinz starts gathering all of the stuff he left at the hideout, but can’t seem to find his keys to the jet. Perry looks down to find them and his foot and hides them under it.
“You clever little animal,” Stan grinned.
“Oh, this is gonna be good~!” Eda added.
Heinz asks Perry if he’s seen his keys. He nods yes but turns his head away, refusing to tell him. Doofenshmirtz: You won't tell me? Is this because you don't speak, or are you just being a jerk?
There were a few laughs.
Candace searches through her outfits and decides to go with "Girl next door meets pop diva meets Hollywood bad girl crossed with an old school glamor goddess"!
“Dang, girl!” Anne gasped with a blush. “You look great!”
“Agreed!” Mabel praised.
Back in the Amphibia room, Sasha found herself growling when she heard Anne’s comment and saw her blush.
“Sashy?” Marcy asked, perplexed. Sasha blinked and shook her head.
“I have no idea why I did that.” She took another look at the screen. “That redhead does look good though.
Meanwhile in the Mystery Shack, Pacifica seemed to be thinking something over.
Hmm, I might wanna hang out with her later. She’s got a great fashion sense.
Candace: Hey, boys! I'm off to the Johnson's book club. Jeremy invited me over.
Phineas: Um, when you see Mom, could you tell her some snakes got lost in the house?
The group blanched and the boys’ sister turned to them.
“You two took care of that, right?”
“We did,” Ferb answered.
Candace: Okay! You boys have fun. See ya!
“Well, that’s different,” Willow noted.
Phineas: Okay, troops. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Buford, I know this is cutting into your canasta game.
Buford: This better be good, pointy.
Phineas: Oh, it is. Isabella has been cursed... (Everyone gasps) ...with hiccups! (Everyone groans)
“Were you hoping she was cursed?” Eda questioned incredulously.
“Well, not really,” Gretchen was quick to answer.
“We were upset with the buildup for something so mundane,” Milly added.
“Good. But, let me tell you this just so you remember: having a curse is not fun.”
Phineas: We're building this haunted house to scare the hiccups out of her. To do so, we must dig deep into those terrible places any sane man shoves into the darkest, twisted corners of his mind. Each of you must find out what scares you the most.
“While we’re on the subject, what scares you guys the most?” Phineas asked the other groups.
Everyone froze, recalling the worst things they’d faced. The Pines family looked down as the image of the one-eyed triangle flashed in their minds.
The haunted house is controlled by the organ that is also a computer. Ferb plays it and is accidentally launches Ferb into the haunted house. He wobbles out soon after.
“Ferb!” his siblings cried and embraced him. “Are you okay?” Phineas asked, to which Ferb gave a thumbs up.
Doof is trying to look throughput the lair, asking if he’s getting warmer, and Perry doesn’t respond.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, come on! I defeated you fair and square, Perry the Platypus! Why can't you accept your death with dignity and maturity and play "You're getting hot or cold" with me?
“Think about what you just said, man,” Sprig told the scientist flatly, causing the others to laugh.
Phineas however was glaring at him.
“Oh, so you were going to let him die!” he yelled.
“Phineas, be cool,” his sister tried to placate him.
“No! This is not okay!” He only calmed down when Perry placed his hand on his arm, giving him a look that it was alright.
“Uh, we’ve seen what that kid can do when he’s happy,” Eda nervously whispered to Stan and Hop Pop. “What can he do when he’s mad?”
“…I don’t wanna know,” Stan said.
“Probably best not to think about it,” Hop Pop agreed.
Doofenshmirtz: Fine, be that way. I'll find my keys myself and teach you the meaning of grace under fire. (Disintevaporator beeps) Please! I'll do anything! Oh, for the love of Great Caesar's ghost, what would you have me do?
Perry smiles coyly.
“Alright, Teach,” King rubbed his paws together eagerly. “Let’s see what you put him through.”
Doof is then seen balancing plates on poles while standing on a ball, and he falls.
Everyone laughed at the scene while Heinz just sighed.
“Go ahead. Laugh it up.”
“Gladly,” Polly snickered.
(Song: "It’s Candace")
Eda didn;t even bat an eye this time. Though she was still curious about where it came from.
“That song needs work,” Dipper bluntly stated.
“It’s usually better,” Candace said.
As Candace stops in front of the Johnson's house, Suzy smiles evilly and commands her poodle to attack her, biting Candace on the rear.
There were shocked gasps from the audience as they watched this unfold. Then they winced in sympathy.
“What?” Jeremy asked quietly, too shocked to speak at a normal volume.
Suzy then turns the handle turning on the sprinklers, getting Candace wet and her hair soggy. She falls in the mud and Suzy laughs maniacally as she makes her toy truck spray mud all over Candace’s face and hair.
Candace: Ahh! Why are you doing this to me?
Suzy just laughs maniacally in response.
“Dear Titan,” Willow said, covering her mouth.
“She’s a psycho!” Sprig cried.
“And not the good kind like me!” Polly added.
“She’s as bad as Gideon!” Mabel gasped.
“Bad Evil! Bad Evil! Bad Evil!” Doofenshmirtz screamed in terror, pointing his finger at the screen as he subconsciously attempted to climb on top of his seat.
“How can someone from the Johnson family be so… so… this?!” Isabella exclaimed.
“Candace, are you okay?!” her brothers looked up at her in concern.
She didn’t answer, however. Her eyes were fixed on Jeremy, who just continued to stare at the screen in silent shock.
“Jeremy?” she asked, taking his hand. It took a few moments for him to squeeze it back, letting out a long slow exhale.
“I don’t like her,” Dipper decided then and there, crossing his arms. He got nods of agreement from the others.
Perry decided to add this little menace to OWCA’s watchlist.
Jeremy comes out to see the scene and Candace tries to tell him what happened, but he doesn’t believe her, saying that “Suzy wouldn’t hurt a fly.” So she just leaves while he calls out for her to come back.
“You tried to tell me,” Jeremy finally spoke up after his long period of silence. “You told me she was out to get you, and I didn’t believe it. I’m still not sure I believe it,” he shook his head in disbelief.
“Believe it, buddy. Your little sister is one wicked monster,” Polly stated bluntly.
“Polly!” everyone chastised her.
“What?! We were all thinking it!” That made them fall silent, which didn’t help the blonde teen’s mode at all.
“Has she been treating you like this the entire time?”
His girlfriend nodded.
“Candace… I’m so sorry,” he apologized.
“It’s not your fault, Jeremy. How could you know?”
“I think I’m gonna have a long talk with her when we get back.”
“Wait! Just… don’t be too hard on her.”
“Huh?” most of the audience went.
“Dude, didn’t she like send her dog on you?” Soos questioned.
“Suzy isn’t like this when Jeremy isn’t involved. I babysat her one time, and she actually treated me decently.”
“Really?” Dipper asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes. Look, I know you’re all angry on my behalf, and I’m grateful, but she’s not all bad,” Candace continued to defend her. “Manipulative, sure. But she’s not all bad.”
“That may be true, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let her continue to bully you like this,” her boyfriend spoke with determination.
“Thank you. That’s all I want.”
Isabella: Hi, Phineas. Whatcha do... Ph--Phineas?
She hiccups and sees the haunted house and bats flying over it.
The audience stared at the haunted house in both awe and fear.
“Dang,” Mabel said.
“Ho-” Sprig started.
“-lly-” Polly continued.
“-tomato,” Anne finished.
“Wow. You weren’t kidding when you said go big or go home,” Stan blinked.
“How’d you even fit that in the backyard?” Gus eyed the thing.
Isabella screams in terror, seeing a slug monster.
Most of them screamed while the Witches and Demons didn’t even bat an eye.
She then hiccups.
Isabella: Darn. It didn't work, Phineas. (Phineas comes out of the costume) What else you got?
“Ah ha ha! Nice one, kid,” Stan laughed.
“Thanks, Mr. Pines.”
Phineas: Oh, we've got plenty, if you're up for it.
He offers her his hand.
Isabella: I-- (Hiccups) g-g-guess so.
She takes it.
“Aw~! That’s so cute!” Mabel gushed.
Luz sighed dreamily. She remembered the first time she held Amity's hand.
Ferb is seen dressed like Frankenstein’s monster and playing the organ.
“Sweet costumes, you two,” Luz praised.
“Thanks,” Phineas smiled.
Song: "One Good Scare"
Phineas: ♪ Come, let's tiptoe into the dark ♪
♪ One good scare ought to do ya! ♪
♪ You'll find our bite much worse than our bark ♪
♪ One good scare ought to do ya some good! ♪
“Ooh! I like this!” Anne beamed.
♪ If you should find the daily grind a tad bit taxing on the mind ♪
♪ To help unwind, if so inclined ♪
♪ I have a small suggestion ♪
♪ That if you dare into my lair, you should prepare for quite a scare! ♪
♪ But "Will you share in this nightmare?" would be my only question ♪
“Listen to all that rhyming!” Sasha said, bobbing her head to the beat.
“And that tempo! Ah! It’s so well paced!” Marcy added in agreement.
Back in the theater…
“Maybe lay off on the weapons next time? That axe was really close,” Candace suggested with a glare.
Phineas: Baljeet?
Baljeet: Oh, I am not Baljeet. I am the scariest thing known to man, a failed math test.
A beat of silence passed.
“Boring!” Polly exclaimed.
Phineas: Yeah, right. We're just gonna move on now.
Baljeet: You can run, but it won't be to the college of your choice, I tell you!
There was a collective wince from all the teens in the audience across all the rooms.
Except for one.
“Kid, you really need to chill out. You’re twelve,” Wendy said.
Phineas: ♪ If your hair lies lifeless and limp ♪
♪ One good scare ought to do ya! ♪
♪ Come with me, now, don't be a wimp! ♪
♪ One little scare ought to do ya some good ♪
The audience continued to enjoy the song. Meanwhile, Stan and Heinz were both rubbing their chins in thought as they eyed the haunted house. That would make a pretty good attraction.
Phineas: Hello? Buford?
Buford: Behold; the face of evil.
Buford reveals himself to be dressed as Suzy Johnson.
“Wait, he knew?!” Candace exclaimed.
“Buford too?” Jeremy questioned with a sad frown.
Phineas: Buford, are you supposed to be Jeremy's little sister? You said you were gonna be something scary!
Buford: She is scary, man. She gives me the willies.
“That makes so much sense now,” Isabella said.
The Song stops.
Phineas: Little Suzy Johnson gives you the willies?
The audience couldn’t help but laugh at Phineas’ tone despite knowing the truth.
Buford: You don't know, man. You don't know!
Phineas: Uh...we'll catch up with you later, okay?
Buford: Wash away the horror. Wash away the horror.
Everyone gapped at the sight as the bully desperately tried to wash his hands. It was… unsettling.
Polly however just laughed in her typical fashion.
“Buford’s the most intimidating person in the entire Tri-State Area. And even he’s scared of her?!” Baljeet exclaimed.
“What did she do to him?!” Luz screamed.
Phineas: ♪ That is quite right, I would delight in taking flight into the night! ♪
♪ If I may give you such a fright, you know I surely would ♪
♪ But if I seem a bit extreme in my attempts to make you scream ♪
♪ Remember that this spooky scheme will cure your hiccups for good ♪
Some of the audience began to sing the final lyrics.
“♪ One little ♪” Luz sang.
“♪ One little ♪” Soos added.
“♪ One little ♪” Anne came next.
“♪ One little ♪” King finished.
“♪ One little scare ought to do you some good! ♪” the rest sang together before laughing.
“That was fun,” Mabel said.
Phineas: So, Isabella, did it work?
Isabella hiccups.
“Oh, come on~!” Stan and Eda complained. “What’s it gonna take to fix this?!” the Owl Lady finished.
Phineas says there’s one more thing they could try. Candace arrives home to find the haunted house in the backyard.
Candace: I don't believe this.
“Back to the status quo?” Dipper asked.
“It’ll only take a minute,” she confirmed.
Doofenshmirtz: Let me get this straight. If I set you free, you'll give me the keys, right? (Perry nods) Oh, for Pete's sake, why didn't you say that, like, an hour ago?
“Oh, wow. I actually forgot about this with the whole Suzy thing,” Stacy admitted. She still couldn’t believe that had happened to her best friend.
“How much torment did you put him through,” King asked eagerly.
“A lot,” Heinz grumbled while Perry smirked, making King snicker.
Doof frees and Perry and gets the keys from him. He quickly gathers his stuff and flies off in the jet. Now he just needs to make sure he didn't forget anything in his haste.
Doofenshmirtz: Got my old basketball, the lamp, Christmas lights, the umbrella, Perry the Platypus, the Disintevaporator, my golf -- (Gasps) PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!
Everyone laughed.
Doofenshmirtz: THE DISINTEVAPORATOR?!
They laughed even harder.
Doofenshmirtz: MY GOLF CLUBS?!? I don't even play golf!
King, Polly and Eda actually fell out of their seats. The two kids leaned on the older woman for support as they continued to guffaw in delight. They ended up gasping for breath from laughing so much.
The fight is on! The two battle it out, using the various items in the plane as weapons.
Doofenshmirtz: Since you saved me the trouble of opening the hatch, let me show you out!
Perry falls out and hangs on by the Christmas lights tied to the disintevaporator.
“How long until they destroy the haunted house?” Dipper asked, knowing that it was coming soon.
“I give it two minutes. Maybe three,” Gus shrugged.
Candace goes inside while the boys use lightning to increase the place’s power and scariness factor. She is easily scared by the haunted house going too far from too much electricity. She even sees a vampire and… a Giant Floating Baby Head?
“Uh… uh, what?” was all Luz could say.
“Am… am I hallucinating again?”Anne asked.
“Nah, that’s just the Giant Floating Baby Head,” Isabella shrugged. “He appears every now and then.”
“Why are you talking about this like it’s normal?!” Wendy exclaimed.
“You mean it’s not?” Phineas questioned.
“No!” everyone, save for two, went.
Dipper and Mabel stared at the giant infant slack jawed. The Pines boy dropped his open and it clattered to the ground.
“Dipper… you don’t think-”
“It’s Time Baby,” he nodded. “It’s gotta be.”
“I guess it makes sense,” she shrugged. “He would have had to have been born at some point.”
“And he can travel through time, so maybe he was just in 2012 Danville for a while.”
Phineas: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Too much, Ferb! Too much! Watch out!
Candace sees more spookables and runs throughout the house and runs into Buford and Baljeet; making them scream.
That got a few laughs from the audience.
Candace then runs through more of the house and ends up on the roller coaster and ends up in the top room. She is justifiably angry and yells at them.
“Yeah, I think you boys went too far with that one,” Eda sided with their sister.
“Don’t worry, we learned our lesson about using lighting,” Phineas responded.
Candace enters the elevator and the Giant Floating Baby head is there as well.
Candace: Would you get out of here?!
The Giant Floating Baby head exits, crying a little.
The twins thought Candace was very lucky that that wasn’t the older version of Time Baby.
Perry swings from the Christmas lights and they loop onto the top of the haunted house. As Candace walks out and runs for their mom, the haunted house behind her is starting to be lifted off the ground.
Perry and Candace’s eyes widened. They didn’t know that this happened! The other groups exchanged worried glances.
Everyone manages to evacuate except for Phineas, who falls when he gets too high.
“PHINEAS!/KID!” Stan, Eda, Hop Pop and Candace screamed before she pulled her brother into a tight hug. Everyone else sucked in a sharp breath in fear. Perry looked horrified before he grew a glare and turned to Doofenshmirtz… only for it to fall upon seeing that the man had gone pale.
“I would like to apologize for this,” Heinz said, to which Phineas just nodded in his sister’s embrace.
Isabella: Quick, everyone! Sashes!
The Fireside Girls flip their sashes out like a trampoline. Phineas screams, bounces off the trampoline and lands in Isabella's arms.
Isabella: Now that...was scary. Hey, my hiccups are gone!
“Yeah, that would do it,” King nodded.
“Nothing like fear of losing a loved one! Hoot!” Hooty hooted.
Isabella found herself being pulled into a tight hug by Candace.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” the redhead went. “I. Owe you. Big time.”
“Well, you know I’d do anything for him,” Isabella giggled, also making Phineas laugh.
“I know I can always count on you,” he smiled at her. It was the same look he’d given her back at the Time Machine. And this did not go unnoticed by the shipper who squealed. And it looks like that included Candace too, for she was grinning widely.
I was just annoyed at him before. Now I outright ship them.
Candace: See? Absolute terror! These little creeps have destroyed our backyard leaving this ugly mess in its place!
All she sees is Baljeet.
The audience cringed. The humans more than the others.
“Ouch. That hurts,” Luz winced in sympathy.
Doofenshmirtz: Here you go, Perry the Platypus. Enjoy your disintevaporation!
Dr. D throws the Disintevaporator on the haunted house, and the force of the invention hitting the house is enough to break the string of Christmas lights, thus freeing the haunted house, which lands in the backyard. Candace runs after her mom upon seeing its return.
“What if that landed and your house?" Ginger questioned. The others blanched at the thought.
The timer on the Disintevaporator as it reaches zero. The machine destroys the haunted house, just before Candace drags Linda out.
Candace: It's back! I told you! It's returned.
Baljeet, holding his satchel, is in the middle of their empty yard again.
Baljeet: Oh, excuse me, I forgot my satchel.
Linda looks on in anger.
Candace buried her face in her hands, completely mortified by the situation while the others inhaled painfully.
“I’m sure we can explain this to her,” Baljeet reasoned.
Isabella asks what’s the matter, and Candace answers that her whole day was ruined.
Isabella: Sorry, but you know, it was the best day for me! Due to my incurable case of the hiccups, I spent an entire day showered with undivided attention from Phineas! It was wonderful!
Candace: Hiccups?
“You did put a lot of effort into helping her,” Anne smirked.
“Well, yeah. She’s my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?” the triangle headed boy responded. His brow furrowed in confusion when half the group groaned.
Jeremy: Hey, Candace. You ran away so quickly, we didn't get a chance to--
Candace hiccups and he immediately showers her with undivided attention.
The audience laughed at what clearly was an act.
“Those hiccups weren’t real, were they?” Jeremy asked his girlfriend with a smile. She just chuckled sheepishly.
“Aw!” Mabel slapped her forehead, making the others look at her in confusion. “Why didn’t I think of that?!”
They just laughed again.
“These girls have got some nerve. I love it,” Eda grinned.
Candace hisses at Suzy, while Buford walks away in fear of the little girl.
Jeremy frowned at the screen again. He knew that things with Suzy weren’t going to be easy going forward. But he knew he needed to do something. He wasn’t gonna let her sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend, but he didn’t want to damage the one with her either.
Seeing her boyfriend’s distress, Candace took his hand.
“Hey, I’m right here if you need me,” she smiled softly.
He smiled back at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“I know. And I couldn’t be more lucky.”
Phineas: That was a great day, Ferb. What did you think the scariest thing was?
Ferb: Definitely the Giant Floating Baby Head.
Phineas: Yeah… Yeah, where did that come from?!
Everyone turned to the pair.
“We still have no idea where that thing came from,” Phineas said, causing the others to groan in frustration.
“Alright, everyone. I think it would be best if we took a quick break after that episode.” The host clapped their hands and the breakfast buffet appeared again, just like it had the day before.
The audience wasted no time in filling their plates.
“Brx wzr vdlg brx kdg vrphwklqj wr whoo xv ehiruh zh ohduq wkh uhdvrq zh’uh khuh?” Khlqc dvnhg.
“Bhv,” wkh Jxdugldq ehjdq. “Dv L’p vxuh brx nqrz, Wlph Edeb lv qr orqjhu dolyh, dqg kdv ohiw srzhu ydfxxp lq wkh wlph ri wzhqwb-vhbhyhqwb-wzhoyh.”
“L kdyhq’w vwxglhg wkh ixwxuh dv pxfk dv wkh sdvw, exw grhvq’w kh uhirup lq 6345? Brx nqrz, zkhq wkh zruog hqgv?”
“Bhv, exw kh lv odwhu ghihdwhg eb wkh sdvw yhuvlrq ri klpvhoi wkdw wkdzv rxw ri wkh Dqwdufwlf. Lw’v d forvhg wlph orrs,” wkh fdw hasodlqhg.
“Phdqlqj wkdw wkhuh lv qr frvplf ehlqj wr pdqdjh wkh surshu iorz ri wlph diwhu kh idfhv Eloo iru wkh vhfrqg wlph,” Hdqnl sxw wrjhwkhu.
“Suhflvhob,” wkh Jxdugldq qrgghg. “Dqg dv wkh Jxdugldq ri wkh Pxowlyhuvh, lw’v pb mre wr ilqg d uhsodfhphqw.”
“Dqg brx zdqw pb khos?” Grri jxhvvhg.
“Qr, L zdqw brx wr gr lw,” wkh fdw vplohg frbob.
Khlqc eolqnhg lq frqixvlrq.
“Zkdw?”
“Brx'uh wkh idwkhu ri wlph wudyho. Ehiruh Wlph Edeb fdph dorqj, brx zhuh wkh rqob rqh zdwfklqj ryhu wkh wlpholqh. Iru doo wkh bhduv diwhu wzhqwb-vhbhyhqwb-wzhoyh, brx vkdoo vdihjxdug wkhp. Brx zloo dovr eh jlyhq d ihz frvplf srzhuv, lqfoxglqj wkh delolwb wr judqw wlph zlvkhv.”
“L… L grq’w nqrz zkdw wr vdb,” Khlqc vdlg, vwxqqhg.
“Krz derxw brx wdnh vrph wlph wr wklqn lw ryhu?”
“Bhdk. L wklqn L’oo wdon lw ryhu zlwk Ydqhvvd iluvw.”
Hdqnl wkhq wxuqhg wr wkh Darorwo.
“Dqg zkdw derxw ph, rog iulhqg?”
“Zhoo, Wlwdq, brx zloo ilqdoob eh khdglqj wr wkh diwhuolih rqfh zh’uh grqh khuh. Dqg qrz wkdw brx’yh vhhq zkdw kdv wudqvsluhg ehwzhhq Khdyhq dqg Khoo, dqg zkdw lvvxhv pdb vwloo frph, L’p vxuh brx fdq whoo wkdw lw’v ehfrph d phvv.”
“Lw kdv,” wkh Wlwdq qrgghg.
“Zklfk lv zkb L zdqw brx wr ila lw. Xvh brxu ydvw nqrzohgjh ri doo wkh zruogv brx’yh vhhq dqg vsuhdg lw dfurvv wkh juhdw ehbrqg. Rqob vrphrqh zkr lv ghdg fdq gr vxfk d wklqj.”
“Zkb duh brx eulqjlqj wklv xs zlwk ph? Zkb qrw wkh Fkdlupdq? Kh’v wkh rqh zlwk wkh prvw lqioxhqfh ryhu doo wkh diwhuolyhv.”
“…Kh’v ghdg.”
“Zhoo… bhv. Ri frxuvh kh lv,” kh uhvsrqghg, sxccohg.
“Qr, L phdq kh’v ghdg ghdg.”
“…Zkdw?!”
“Kh wulhg wr edqlvk d kdssb-jr-oxfnb jluo wr wkdw juhhq zkluosrro, exw khu mrb zdv vr srzhuixo wkdw rqh wrxfk iurp khu nloohg klp.”
Wkh Wlwdq zdv vlohqw dv kh gljhvwhg wklv lqirupdwlrq.
“Vxuhob vrphrqh hovh pxvw kdyh iloohg wkh uroh?”
“Zhoo… lw’v ehvw li brx zdwfk wklv fols.” Wkh Darorwo wxuqhg wr wkh vfuhhq dqg sodbhg wkh irrwdjh.
Vrqj: “Edfn wr Plvhub”
“♪ Zh’uh jrlqj edfn, edfn, edfn, edfn, edfn, edfn, edfn wr plvhub~! ♪”
“Jrrg orug!” Khlqc hafodlphg.
“Grq’w zruub, vkh zdv ghihdwhg. Exw qrz wkh srvlwlrq lv ydfdqw,” wkh dpskleldq vdlg.
Hdqnl zdonhg xs wr wkh vfuhhq ylhzlqj wkh wkhdwhu zlwk klv kdqgv fodvshg ehklqg klv edfn. Kh zdwfkhg dv klv vrq odxjkhg zlwk klv qhz iulhqgv dqg idplob.
“Brx duh dvnlqj ph wr ehfrph wkh Fkdlupdq.”
“Brx zrxog kdyh ixoo frqwuro ri doo jkrvwv dfurvv wkh xqlyhuvh. D zlwk brx ehlqj d Wlwdq, brx zrxog eh d frvplf ehlqj lq doo exw wlwoh. Brxu lqioxhqfh zrxog kdyh wkh srzhu wr fkdqjh doo wkh diwhuolyhv.”
Wkh Wlwdq frqwlqxhg wr orrn dw wkh vfuhhq. Lw zdv pruh olnh d zlqgrz li kh zhuh ehlqj krqhvw.
“Zkdw vruw ri Fkdlupdq zrxog L pdnh?”
Wkh Darorwo ehjdq wr iordw kljkhu lq wkh dlu wkdq kh douhdgb zdv, dqg judqglrvh zrugv iorzhg rxw ri klv prxwk.
“Rqfh brx zhdu wkh fordn lq eodfn, brx’oo fkdqjh lw doo zlwk qr dwwdfn. Jrrg zloo ulvh, hylo zloo txdnh, d idqwdvwlf Fkdlupdq brx vkdoo pdnh. Zkhq oryhg rqhv zloo qhhg brx prvw, brx zloo khos dv d jkrvw.”
Hdqnl wxuqhg klv khdg durxqg voljkwob dw wkh odvw rqh. Wkhq kh orrnhg edfn dw wkh vfuhhq.
“Brx vkdoo kdyh ph… rq rqh frqglwlrq.” Kh wxuqhg durxqg wr idfh wkhp. “L jhw wr ylvlw pb vrq.”
“Grqh,” wkh Darorwo qrgghg.
“Qrw vr idvw, Wlwdq,” d qhz yrlfh fxw lq. Rqh wkdw vsrnh frrob dqg zlwk dq dlu ri uhyhuhqfh.
Wkh txduwhw wxuqhg wr vhh dq rudqjh iurj lq d eodfn vxlw zlwk d jroghq elug vnxoo fdqh dqg d erzohu kdw vwdqglqj qhdu wkh vkdgrzv. Kh uhpryhg klv kdw wr uhyhdo d pdvvlyh khdg ri ehdxwlixo jroghq kdlu. Wkhq kh sxoohg rxw d srfnhw zdwfk.
“Wklv lv dq lpsuhvvlyh wklqj brx duh grlqj zlwk wkhvh ylhzlqjv, exw brxu wlph lv xs, Hdqnl. Dqg L qhhg wr wdnh brx dzdb.”
“Zhoo, zhoo, zhoo,” wkh Wlwdq ehjdq. “L zdv zrqghulqj zkhq brx zrxog duulyh… Ghdwk.”
Notes:
Just one more chapter and we can finally get the everyone's reactions to Dipper's crush on Wendy! I've had that scene in my head since the beginning. Not as much as the Dipcifica hug, but it will be soooooooo satisfying to finally get there. In the meantime, I got to the scene where they react to Perry making women swoon. Stan's reaction was fun. And next chapter we get Busted!
1) Do any of you have any suggestions for more songs these characters can sing? I'm all ears. I really love doing Epic in case you can't tell, but that's not the only option.
2) Which character do you think would forgo having a Palismen? I never thought it would be a good idea for ALL of them to have one, and some just might be satisfied with what they have.
3) What are you most excited for in the second day of viewings? I'll be covering the next three episodes for the other three series'.
4) What character interactions or relationships do you want to seeing in this story? Platonic and romantic alike.
5) What did you think of my intro scenes?See you next month, okay, BYEEE!
(Tracker)
Summaries: 3/3
Reactions: 2/3
Chapter 12: I Would Do Anything For Love: Part 2
Notes:
Merry early Christmas, folks! Here's part 2 of this viewing's Phineas and Ferb episodes. Man this has stuff I've wanted to get to for a while. Mainly "I Scream, You Scream." This was a lot of fun to write, and I know you'll enjoy it.
Especially the code at the end.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Almost. Almost. Yes!” Isabella cheered as she and the rest of her troupe drew the light glyphs and cast the small balls of light.
“We did it!” Ginger beamed.
“Nice job,” Luz praised the girls with a smile.
“Congratulations, ladies. Here are your new patches,” the host said, and the new awards appeared on their sashes with a flash. “And now to the next one.”
I, Brobot
Phineas and Ferb sit under the tree looking at all their blueprints and realize they have more inventions than the summer allows.
“Wow. You guys sure have a lot of options,” Wendy noted.
“It’s a dilemma to be sure,” Soos said.
Phineas: We either need more days of summer, or more of us. (Ferb shows Phineas a blueprint) What's this? The blueprint for that robot we invented? Ferb, you're a genius! We can make android versions of ourselves! We can make Phinedroids and Ferbots! Hey, where's Perry?
“Robots? Aw, heck yeah!” Polly cheered. She couldn’t wait until Frobo could join them
The Pines twins flinched at Phineas’ words, each for their own reason. Mabel, at the mention of “need more days of summer.” Dipper with “more of us.”
“This probably won’t end well,” he mumbled.
On the roof, Perry puts on his fedora and goes into the chimney elevator. Gitcha Gitcha Goo is the music.
“Okay, first of all, nice entrance. Second, that’s your guys’ song!” Luz beamed.
“Oh, yeah. A lot of people still listen to it,” Phineas said.
“Well, good for you kids,” Hop Pop smiled.
Santa Clause rides in the elevator with him.
“Oh, hey! It’s that Santa guy,” Sprig observed.
The humans that weren’t from Danville tilted their heads.
“Is he a performer? A charity guy?” Anne asked.
Doof has suspiciously made 47 calls in the last hour.
“47? What’s that about?” Stan questioned. Heinz got weird looks when he chuckled sheepishly.
Major Monogram: See, Carl, that's why I don't like using the chimney-vator. Besides, that guy totally owes me a pony from when I was five.
Most of the humans blinked.
“Excuse me?” some of them said.
“You don’t think…?” Mabel began.
In the garage of the house, the boys use their android building device to scan pictures of themselves and begin building robots with their likeness.
“This is so cool, dudes!” Soos cheered.
The other groups agreed but were not vocal about it. Most of them didn’t have the best experience with robots.
As for Heinz, the scientist leaned forward in his seat and gazed at the machines in fascination.
Well, looks like I have my next scheme for King and Perry.
Back in the Mystery Shack, McGucket grinned at the sight.
“Sweet sarsaparilla! Those boys might give me a run for my money! Which I now have!”
Phineas: (on bullhorn) Phinedroids and Ferbots, we thank you for being here with us today. Please-- (To Ferb) Uh, Ferb, your bullhorn's not on.
Ferb turns on his bullhorn.
There were a few snorts at that.
Before giving them the blueprints to work on, they use a remote to make them dance.
Song: "Phinedroids and Ferbots"
“Not bad,” Willow nodded.
“It is pretty catchy,” Gus agreed.
“Agree to disagree,” Candace crossed her arms.
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus. Thank you for using the key I gave you. It's much more civilized than crashing through my ceiling, don't you think?
The audience laughed.
“How many times did he do that before you gave him the key?” Eda grinned.
“I lost count years ago. At least, it feels like years ago. It’s more like months.”
Apparently, Doof isn’t up to anything. He’s just trying to call his girlfriend.
“Aw~!” Mabel and Luz cooed.
“You big softie,” Mabel smiled.
“You’re using a house phone? In 2012?” Wendy questioned incredulously.
“Well, it didn’t feel like 2012 at the time,” Heinz defended. Then he frowned in confusion when he thought about that further.
Doofenshmirtz: (Laughs) We're having, what I call, a relationship bump. And now, she won't pick up the phone, and I'm tired of leaving messages. I'm tired! I've—I left, like, 57 messages and, I won't leave anymore. It starts to look a little desperate.
“Yeesh!” Stan grimaced. “You’re way past that, buddy.”
“I know,” he bowed his head and sighed.
He also plans on waving a magnet over her house to erase the messages because some of them were really long and rambly.
“And there it is,” Anne said flatly.
“Honestly, we should have seen him doing something like this coming,” Polly shrugged.
Doofenshmirtz: I mean, I know there's an ordinance against it, but- What? Oh, come on, Perry the Platypus! (Growls) Oh well, too bad for you! (traps Perry) Too bad you don't believe in love! (Door slams, Truck engine revving) Too bad!
The crowd was laughing again at the scene.
“Seriously though, what do we make of this?” Eda asked.
“Well, it’s for love. So…” Mabel reasoned.
“Still feel like a bit much though,” Wendy frowned.
Candace decided to remain silent, considering that she had done the same thing with some unflattering pictures that she and Stacy accidentally sent to Jeremy.
Candace is on the phone with Stacy, who is about to get her ears pierced.
“How’d that go?” Mabel asked.
“Painfully,” Stacy winced.
Candace notices her brothers getting to work and goes to see what it is this time… only to see more and more of them.
Candace: They're my brothers and they're robots! THEY'RE BRO BOTS!
She screams and runs into the panic room.
“You guys have a bunker?” Dipper questioned.
“It’s actually a panic room,” she answered.
“You have a panic room? Lucky,” Heinz sighed. “I have a safe space. I wanted a panic room, but it was just too expensive.”
She calls her mom and Linda says she’ll be bac with the pictures.
Candace: But everything will be gone by the time Mom gets home. Isn't that right, Mr. Miggins? Unless…
Everyone turned to Candace Candace and looked at her carefully with concern.
“Are you okay?” Anne asked.
Their concern grew when she actually laughed.
“I’m obviously not,” she shook her head.
Phineas visibly frowned at that. He and Ferb had never meant to put her through
this.
She uses an oil can as bait and captures a Ferbot in a sack.
“Nice one!” Dipper praised.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
She carries the sack with the Ferbot in it to the front yard and calls Stacy, who is crying from getting her ears pierced.
Many of them winced in sympathy.
Candace: Uh-huh, Oh, hi, Mrs. Hirano! What? Stacy got her ears pierced? Gee, what a terrible thing that I had completely no idea about! Anyway, gotta run, Mrs. Hirano. Give Stacy my best!
Stacy glared at her friend flatly while the others just laughed.
“You really should have gotten Mom’s permission before doing that,” Ginger pointed out to her older sister.
While she was on the phone, a garbage truck arrived and took the bag with the Ferbot. A fertilizer truck then pulled up and dropped off a bag of fertilizer.
“That makes so much sense now,” Candace said.
“That’s just bad luck,” Stan commented.
Candace: Poor, mixed-up Stacy.
“Really?” Stacy questioned flatly.
[Back at D.E.I., Perry uses some cheese spray to get a mouse to chew through the rope.
“Wait, you actually do have mice?” Luz questioned..
“Unfortunately,” Heinz grumbled.
“Woah! You guys have stuff like that too?! The Human world just gets cooler every time!” Gus beamed.
“Pretty clever escape,” Stan praised.
The Brobots have successfully built the Chamber of Invisibility, the Microscopic zoo, and a tunnel to the center of the Earth.
“That zoo’s turning a profit? How? Who’s seeing it?” Polly questioned.
“Forget that! People want to go see miniature animals!” Heinz grinned.
“And they’ll pay money for it!” Stan beamed, a cash register going off in his head.
“I bet we could actually make one of those to entertain people,” Soos suggested.
Luz, King, Willow and Gus shivered at the thought, remembering their experience in a miniature zoo.
Phineas: Boy, I bet that was fun to build. You know, Ferb, even though these robots were a success and completely on model, I kind of miss working on stuff. You know, just you and me.
“Ah, there’s the downside,” Anne noted.
“Yeah, it was really fun and cool to have these robots, but it just wasn’t the same,” Phineas said.
“Yeah, sometimes you can’t invent a solution to a problem. You just have to accept things for the way they are and work with what you’ve got,” Eda explained. “Take it from someone who’s lived a complicated life. Yuo can’t just poof your problems away.”
“We get that now.”
“Honestly, this isn’t the worst case scenario,” Dipper shrugged.
“Oh, it’s not over yet,” Ferb said.
The Phinedroids and Ferbots have run out of projects, so they're designing their own! They've started their own overpriced coffee franchise! And it's making them go haywire! One's having trouble falling asleep.
“That’s not good,” Wendy noted.
“At this rate they’ll take all the fun ideas for the summer!” Mabel exclaimed.
Phineas closes the coffee shop for their own good. The Brobots then start to turn on them.
Phineas: Well, that's no good. Time to show these robots who's in charge. (Presses the laptop button repeatedly) Uh, Ferb? I think they're in charge.
“And~ there’s the worst case scenario,” Dipper said.
“Turn on your creator. Typical,” Heinz rolled his eyes.
“The robots think for themselves now! Run!” Polly screamed. “Wait, is that what’s happening? Did you guys accidentally make true AI?”
“We never actually figured that out,” Phineas answered. “We programmed them to build inventions for us, so it’s possible that they were just following their programming and saw that we were in the way.”
“It is also possible that they deviated and became fully autonomous and capable of making their own decisions,” Ferb added.
Back in the Mystery Shack…
“Fiddleford? What do you think?”
“Don’t know. None o’ my robots were autonomous. All were remote controlled and what not,” the hillbilly responded.
And in the Amphibia room…
“They probably could have done it,” Ally said.
“We know Frobo here is true AI, so it’s definitely possible.”
“We better take a look at those Brobots later.”
Back in the Owl House, Alador had the same plan.
Doofenshmirtz is singing along to “Gitchee Gitchee Goo.”
“Glad to see you’re a fan,” Candace smiled.
“What can I say, you all made a good song,” he shrugged.
He arrives at his girlfriend's house, only to stop and see Perry.
“You’re actually gonna stop him?” Stan raised an eyebrow.
“Dude, wouldn’t it be better to like, let this one go?” Soos asked.
“Yeah! It’s for love!” Mabel added.
“Knowing his luck, he might accidentally drop it on her house,” King pointed out.
“Yeah, okay. That makes sense,” she conceded.
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus! How did you escape my net? It was the mouse, wasn't it?
There were a few snickers at that.
Doofenshmirtz: Get out of the way, Perry the Platypus! Don't make me drop this giant magnet on you! Well, then, as a lazy tailor would say, "Suit yourself."
He drops the magnet over Perry… BUT IT GETS STUCK TO SANTA’S SLAY!!!!
“WAIT, WHAT?!” all the other humans in every room exclaimed to the top of their lungs.
Doofenshmirtz: But that doesn't make sense! It's the middle of July!
Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! I'm on a summer run! Farewell, Perry the Platypus!
Doofenshmirtz: Bah, humbug.
All the humans from Gravity Falls, Amphibia and the Owl House stared at the screen with slack jaws in open mouthed silence. It went on for perhaps minutes until it was finally broken.
“He’s real?! Santa’s real?!” Dipper screamed.
“I can’t believe it,” Luz said.
“Why are we even surprised at this point? After everything we’ve seen…” Anne trailed off.
“I… I’m actually speechless,” Stan spoke after a while.
“Oh yeah. I heard about this human legend,” Eda started. “Thought it was a bunch of nonsense at the time, but guess I was wrong.”
“Nonsense? He’s very real. We actually-” Phineas was cut off by the silencing spell. “Guess that’s a spoiler.”
“PssT! Dipper? Do you think we still qualify for the Nice List?” Mabel whispered to her twin.
“I think defeating an evil demon and saving the world is good enough,” he smirked. Unbeknownst to them, two of the other groups had the same line of thinking.
“Good because… there’s only one thing I want for Christmas this year,” she said with a sad frown.
“Yeah… me too,” he rescinded in the same way.
Stan looked at his niece and nephew in sympathy.
I don’t think they know as much as I do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know some of it.
Phineas: So this is how it ends, Ferb. Defeated by our own doppelgängers. If only we had some sort of device that could stop them from... (Ferb pulls out the remote; Phineas laughs) I know, I'm just messing with ya.
“Oh, so there was nothing to worry about,” Polly said.
“Yeah, pretty much,” Phineas shrugged.
Ferb presses the "DANCE" button, so the robots immediately stop what they're doing and begin dancing like they did before. Phineas and Ferb also dance with them.
The kids couldn’t help but bop their heads to the beat.
Candace: (Scoffs) '80s music is so 2002.
“It is not! ‘80s music is forever!” Mabel reasoned.
“We really need to work on your taste in music,” Dipper said flatly.
“Says the guy that listens to ‘70s music.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that!”
“And there’s nothing wrong with ‘80s music either!”
“That… okay, you got me,” Dipper conceded to his sister’s point.
“Besides, the ‘80s gave us Mariah Carey.”
“You like Mariah Carey?” Luz asked. “I love Mariah Carey!”
“You do?!” Mabel gasped. “I listen to her “Forever” whenever I get the sads!”
“I once left a speaker playing “All I Want For Christmas” on loop in the vents above the Coven Scouts,” Luz laughed. “That was fun.”
“♪ I just want you for my own, ♪” Mabel sang.
“♪ More than you could ever know, ♪” Luz continued.
“♪Make my wish come true! ♪” the two joined together. “♪ Baby all I want for Christmas is you~! ♪”
Linda arrives and Candace shows her the bag. It’s just manure.
“Ouch,” Sprig said.
After checking the backyard, Candace goes to fetch Linda. As that happens, Santa flies over the backyard and the magnet takes all the robots away, leaving behind only Phineas and Ferb still dancing.
“Santa takes them away. Of course, because why not?” Candace rhetorically stated.
“How is it that something so absurd can make so much sense?” Anne questioned.
“Welcome to my life,” Stan responded.
Candace: I know. I've done this nineteen other times. But this time, I can say with the utmost confidence that there are Phineas and Ferb robots in our backyard!
She just sees them dancing like robots.
“Honestly, that could have been worse,” Dipper said, trying to comfort his new friend.
“It also could have been better,” Candace frowned.
“Hold on a second. You said ‘nineteen’,” Eda caught on.
“Yeah, why?”
“Doofus here said it was July. So how could it have only been nineteen times?”
The people from Danville were silent.
“Hey, did anything about time during that summer feel weird to anyone?” Jeremy asked.
“Well, now that you mention it…” Isabella trailed off in thought.
“My birthday is July 11th,” Candace’s eyes widened. “But I swear I remember it happening before the Summer Solstice.”
“Which is in June,” Stacy realised.
The Danville crew looked at each other, hoping any of them would have an explanation.
“I think we might want to watch for time anomalies in your show,” Dipper concluded.
One of the Candace photos falls off the pile and lands on the copier machine in the garage.
Computer: Candace.
Candace: It's a Candroid! (Candace screams and runs into the panic room again. The Candroid is in there, too, and she has Mr. Miggins) Oh, give me that!
There were a few laughs at the absurdity.
“Wait, why did it act like you? It didn’t receive any instructions?” Polly asked.
“I… don’t know,” was the redhead’s response.
“Perhaps because the first thing it saw was Candace running made it believe that doing so was its orders?” Ferb hypothesized.
“It’s either that or the lack of commands made it think for itself,” Baljeet added.
Back in the Owl House…
“Oh, I am definitely taking a look at those things,” Alador nodded. Then he turned to his youngest a little nervously. “Mittens, would you like to come with me?”
Amity blinked for a moment before having a small smile.
“I would.”
“Time for the next one.”
Journey to the Center of Candace
Linda asks the boys if they have anything exciting planned.
Phineas: We're either gonna make this nuclear-powered submarine or this incredible shrinking ray. But for some reason, Ferb and I can't seem to make up our minds.
Linda: Well, I've made up my mind. (hugs them) You two have the most wonderful imaginations.
“She didn’t notice that the blueprints were real?” Luz questioned.
“Probably thought they were drawings instead,” Stacy shrugged.
“How exactly were you planning on building a nuclear submarine?” Polly asked. “Radioactive material like plutonium or uranium isn’t something you can just buy in a store.”
“We’ve been working on cold fusion on and off again,” Phineas answered.
“WHAT?!” Dipper and Heinz exclaimed.
“That’s huge! That would solve so many problems,” Dipper grinned.
“Virtually limitless energy generation, minimal radioactive waste, and reduced environmental impact to name a few,” Baljeet listed off.
“That kind of energy could power anything. Hmmm…” Doof cupped his chin in thought. “How soon can you boys do it?”
“We could finish it by this afternoon if we can get started,” the triangle headed boy answered.
“Do it!” all the humans shouted.
Candace dryly talks about it being real.
Candace: (talking fast) Anyway, when I try to bust them, everything will just magically disappear. Always happens. You'll see. Well, you won't see. I'll see, trust me.
Linda: As usual, the imagination in this room is astounding!
“So, the obliviousness is genetic. Okay,” Eda noted.
“Oh, that makes sense,” Polly added.
“It’s all so clear now,” Sprig finished.
“What are you talking about?” Phineas asked obliviously.
Jeremy calls Candace and asks if she wants to go on a walk through the park with him. She proceeds to spit out her cereal then daintily wipe her mouth with a napkin.
Candace: I would very much enjoy going for a walk. Wherever shall we go?
The audience guffawed while Candace buried her face in her hands.
“Oh, that’s priceless!” Stan whipped a tear away. “Nothing like a good spit take.
They schedule the date at his uncle’s restaurant. Candace immediately calls Stacy and Jenny, and they start screaming repeatedly in joy.
Phineas: (overlapping) Let's go outside!!
“So much screaming,” Heinz covered his ears.
“And yet, it’s still so funny,” King grinned.
“I think I’ve found more of my people,” Mabel beamed.
The boys still can’t make up their minds.
Isabella: What'cha doooin'?
She brought her dog Pinky with her.
The door to the backyard suddenly opened and in came the little Chihuahua.
“Pinky!” Isabella beamed and welcomed her pet with open arms. The dog leapt into her embrace and started panting comfortably. “This is my dog, everyone! Pinky!”
Eda then grinned widely and looked between her and Anne. This did not go unnoticed by the two girls who gave her flat looks.
“Yeah, we're not doing that again,” Isabella said.
“Oh, come on! Why not?! It was entertaining.”
“Eh. The joke ran its course,” Anne shrugged. “Aw. He’s actually kinda cute.”
“Thanks. Your cat is too.” The Mexican-Jewish girl gained a serious look. “She’s not here is she?”
“Why?”
“Be warned, if she comes into the theater, there is a good chance that he’ll chase her.”
“Got it. Thanks for the heads up.”
It went unnoticed, but Perry and Pinky discreetly saluted each other.
Isabella: (Showing her Fireside sash) Hey, check out my new sash! It's got all my accomplishment patches sewn onto it. See?
Phineas: Wow. That looks totally irreplaceable.
Pinky jumps up and swallows Isabella's sash.
Phineas commits to getting her sash back. Ferb then shows him the plans.
Phineas: Hmm... (realizing) Ferb, you're a genius!
“A shrinking submarine!” Mabel and Polly gasped.
“That is genius!” Luz praised.
“Let me get this straight,” Candace began, putting her together in front of her with a calculating gaze. “Instead of doing something simple, you went ahead and built a shrinking submarine just for this?”
“Well, yeah,” her brother responded. “I would do anything for the people I care about.”
“But do you always go to these extremes?”
“Well… I don’t think so. Why?”
“You know, your obliviousness is actually adorable from the right angle,” she smiled fondly.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
Perry heads to his lair through a catapult with the fence.
“That looks like fun,” Sprig beamed
Major Monogram: Agent P, thanks for coming. It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's been hiding out in the old abandoned vacuum cleaner factory. You know, that building across town with the giant vacuum cleaner on top? Man, I can't believe that place closed. I blame the Internet. (pause) Your mission, Agent P, is to find out what Doofenshmirtz is up to and then stop him.
“Say, the infrastructure’s not too bad, Mr. Pines,” Soos mentioned. “You could probably repurpose it for your next business venture.”
“Yeah. Make it into a hotel or something. Like how that brewery in San Antonio was made into Hotel Emma,” Heinz said.
“Hmmm… I don’t know,” Stan eyed the building. “It’s in a downtown area, meaning the price would be steep. Not to mention the property taxes would be costly. Still, you should write that down, Soos.”
Phineas and Ferb go over the plan with Isabella.
Phineas: We shrink the sub down with Ferb and me in it and put it in Pinky's dog food. After he eats us, the sub extrudes two mechanical arms, which fold up the sash to microscopic size and pull it into the sash storage unit. Finally, we pilot up into the mouth and have Pinky drool us out. Easy.
Isabella: Gross, but cool!
“All that for Isabella,” Candace whispered with a smirk to Mabel.
“Looks like he would do anything for love and doesn’t even realize it,” she grinned then sighed. “So romantic.”
“How did you plan on protecting yourselves from the stomach acids?” Polly asked. “Stomach acid shouldn’t usually be able to dissolve metal, but since you’ll be so small, it’s a stronger possibility.”
“Great question. We used a reinforced alloy mixed with noble metals to do the trick,” Phineas answered.
“Cool.”
Isabella: But Pinky will eat anything but dog food. He likes grilled cheese sandwiches.
(Pinky pants excitedly)
Phineas: Not a problem. You make the sandwich. We'll make the sub.
“Wait, how is that healthy?” Willow questioned.
Isabella just shrugged in response.
Man: Okay. A subatomic shrinking module, hydrostatic ballast tank, and a case of AA batteries. Sign here, please.
Phineas: Aren't you wondering if we're a little young to be building a submarine?
Man: Yes, yes I am.
Phineas: Yeah. We get that a lot.
There were a few chuckles.
“You can buy a subatomic shrinking module? How? Where?” Dipper asked, more out of confusion than anything else.
“We’ll have to get back to you on that,” Ferb responded.
The submarine and sandwich are ready. After a blue button is pushed, the submarine shrinks then lands into the grilled cheese sandwich.
“That is so cool! I wish we had an adventure where we were tiny,” Sprig said.
“No you do not,” Dipper, Mabel, Luz, King, Willow and Gus all said at once.
Isabella: It worked! All right, Pinky-Winky, time for some cheesy-weesy!
A black cat yowls and Pinky's ears perk up. The cat hisses then runs off with a barking Pinky in pursuit.
Isabella: (While running after Pinky) No, Pinky! Chasing the cat is so cliche! You're better than that!
“Okay, just wait for her to come back. Shouldn’t be a problem,” Wendy stated.
“Yeah, what’s the worst that can…” Eda began.
Candace finds and starts munching on the sandwich, so she doesn't look like a pig on her date.
“…happen.”
The audience stared in silence at the implication of what was about to happen.
“This might be a problem,” Stan said after a moment.
♪ Doofenshmirtz's Abandoned Vacuum Cleaner Factory! ♪
Doof decides it would be better if they switched it up a bit, so he doesn’t trap Perry yet.
“Huh. Okay. Do something new,” Gus nodded.
“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” King grinned in anticipation. This scientist was doomed.
Doofenshmirtz: The Make-Up-Your-Mind-inator! (chuckles) You know, when you're waiting to order a pizza and the person in front of you can't decide on a topping. Ohh, I hate that! I hate it!
“Ugh! I know, right?” Candace sympathized. “Like, just pick one already.”
“So what? It’s like a machine that makes someone make up their mind?” Mabel asked.
“Honestly, that doesn’t seem too bad,” Anne said.
Doofenshmirtz: I will destroy anyone who can't make up their mind!
“And~ there’s the weird dark turn,” Anne said.
Destroy anyone who can't make up their mind!
Phineas: Ferb and I can't seem to make up our minds.
Fury engulfs the platypus.
The audience’s eyes widened, realizing what was about to happen.
“Yeah, I think you might wanna run,”
Doofenshmirtz: Should I go with Make-Up-Your-Mind-inator? Or is that too-on-the-nose? It's funny. Now I can't make up my mind. Oof!
Perry attacks Doofenshmirtz in a frenzy and cuffs him to a pipe.
“Dang. You took him down quick,” Mabel noted.
“Oh. That makes so much more sense now,” Doof realized. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see it was Stan with a judging look.
“Heinz, I know we’re friends and all, but you got what you deserved there. You threatened his family and paid the price.”
“No, no. I completely get it,” he agreed. “You should see the lengths I’ll go to protect Vanessa.”
“Wow. This just goes to show how much you’ve been holding back,” Ed observed the agent. “And how much you love those kids,” she smiled softly.
The boys brought their pet and family member into a hug.
Doofenshmirtz: Calling headquarters, huh? Hmm. Yes, you—you didn't even give me a chance to trap you. See? I was going to put you in that giant snow globe over there, and... now I have to return it.
“Aw, man. I would have liked to have seen that,” Polly frowned.
Monogram is surprised but quickly gets over it.
Major Monogram: Hang tight, Agent P. Backup is on the way. I mean, it would be, if we had some. Uh, I'm gonna make some calls.
“Wait, there’s no backup?” Candace questioned.
Perry began writing down on a notepad for her everyone to read.
We had a very small budget. There were only so many agents.
“Yikes. That doesn’t sound good,” she frowned.
Candace: Oh, yeah. (chewing noisily) This is good.
“I thought you were allergic to dairy?” Luz asked.
“It’s kosher,” Isabella explained.
“Okay. Makes sense.”
Phineas: It worked! Pinky's chewing! Prepare for swallowing!
(Doorbell rings)
Candace: (Gasps) Jeremy's here! (Gulps)
Phineas: Whoa! Whaah! (Sonar pinging) Wow. Pinky's neck is really long.
“Yeah, that’s when we should have known,” Phineas lamented.
“You just went inside your sister’s body,” Dipper said with a shiver.
“This is giving me flashbacks,” Mabel added with her own shiver.
(Scene cuts to the front door)
Jeremy: Hey, Candace.
Candace: Hi, Jeremy.
Phineas: Whoa!
Candace: (Belches) Heh heh. Heh. Excuse me.
Phineas: We did it, Ferb! We're inside Pinky. How about a little road trip music?
Song: Hemoglobin Highway
“That one was pretty serene. I like it,” Anne said.
“So, that’s what humans look like on the inside. Cool!” Gus beamed.
Phineas: Now to find that sash. Hey, tacos! Ah, tacos. You know who makes the best tacos? Mom. These kind of remind me of the ones we had... for dinner last night. Hey, Pinky didn't have dinner with us. Wait a minute. Candace's favorite cereal?
“Yep. That should be enough to figure it out,” Hop Pop said.
Phineas's cell phone rings.
Phineas: Hello?
Isabella: Phineas, where are you? Pinky ran away, and when I came back, the sandwich was gone!
Phineas: Okay, let me call you back. (to Ferb) Yeah, we're inside Candace's stomach.
Ferb: That's creepy on so many levels.
There was a symphony of shivers from all the siblings in the room.
“Yeesh! No amount of money could make even me do that,” Eda cringed.
“The horror!” Polly and Sprig wailed together.
The backup of yours is taking forever, so Doof recommends they play chess. He points to a bag to the left, but Perry opens the bag to the right, only to get trapped by a magnet belt.
“Ooh! That’s a new one!”
Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha ha ha! I tricked you, Perry the Platypus! (Takes a hairpin from his hair then uses it to pick the lock on the handcuff) Do you like my Any-Flat-Surface-Magnet-Belt? It sticks to any flat surface. Hee hee hee hee.
“Once again, I have shown that I am truly a force to be reckoned with!” Heinz proclaimed.
“How long until he messes it up?” King asked dryly.
“I give him ten seconds,” Dipper said in the same tone.
Doofenshmirtz: Guess what? There's no travel chess set in this bag, either. (gets trapped by the other magnet belt) There was one of these in both bags, so whichever one you chose, you would be stuck. Just like I'm... stuck... right now. What, uh... wh-what time is that backup getting here again?
Everyone just looked at the man screen, not even batting an eye.
“Yep. No surprise there,” Polly frowned.
“He had it, and then he lost it,” Eda sighed.
The boys tap into Candace’s nervous system to use her eyes and ears.
Phineas: She's on her date with Jeremy. That means we're on a date with Jeremy.
Ferb: Again, creepy on so many levels.
Again, all the siblings shivered.
“It felt so dirty to intrude like that,” Phineas frowned.
“That’s good. It means you’ll try not to do it again,” Luz said.
Phineas calls their sister and try to tell her what’s going on.
Candace: Are you wacko? Don't call me!
“Yeah, that’s a fair reaction,” Willow nodded.
“Unfortunately, it was true,” Candace sighed.
Phineas: Wait! We can prove it! (to Ferb) How do we prove it?
Ferb pulls up a feather duster to tickle Candace's insides.
The audience winced in sympathy.
“Ouch. and right in front of her date too,” Sprig said.
Phineas: Hey, monkey bars. Do you still get sick when you hang upside down?
Candace: Yeah. Why?
“Wait. What are you guys about to do?” Dipper asked, getting a little nervous now.
“Listen… we’re not proud of what we did here,” Phineas responded as he and his brother bowed their heads in shame.
“I’m scared now. What could…” he trailed off and his eyes widened, realizing what this meant. “No. No no no no no! Please tell me you’re not about to-”
Phineas: Sorry, Candace. We have to help Isabella. So, arms and legs!
Candace starts walking like a robot as Phineas and Ferb control her limbs.
Dipper’s jaw dropped while everyone else blinked at the sight.
“Well, that’s one way to do it,” Eda commented.
“Did you just possess your sister?!” Pine Tree screamed, causing the Hexsquad and Plantars to flinch. In the other rooms, Hunter and Marcy both felt a cold shiver run through them.
“Yes? No? I’m not sure actually,” Candace answered the best she could. “I think possession is a bit strong of a word for right here, but yeah, they did take control of my body for a few seconds.”
“Dipper? Are you alright?” Mabel asked carefully, concern clear for everyone to see as she placed her hand on his arm.
“I… I’m sorry. I need a minute.” Dipper then got up and walked through the door to the Mystery Shack.
“Yeah. I’m just gonna…” Mabel pointed at the door before sprinting after her brother.
She came through the other side to the front yard and saw her twin sitting in front of a tree. He was in a fetal position and breathing shakily. What surprised her however was that Paxifica stood right by him. She was patting his shoulder with an expression that indicated she had no idea what to do.
The sister kneeled before her brother and placed a hand on his knee.
“Dipper?”
“I’m okay. I-I just… just need to catch my… just need to breathe for a minute,” the Pines boy stammered.
Pacifica and Mabel shared a worried look. He wasn’t okay.
“What do we do?” the Northwest mouthed.
After thinking for a moment, Mabel’s expression became determined and she reached over and hugged her brother. Getting the silent message, Pacifica did the same, and the two girls held him from two sides. Pacifica to his right, and Mabel to his left.
It took some time, but his breathing eventually evened out and he returned their embraces.
“Feeling better?” Mabel asked.
“Lots. Thank you,” he smiled at his sister before turning to the blonde. “Both of you.”
“It-it was nothing!” Pacifica scoffed, turning away. “Your situation was unpleasant to look at. That’s all.
“Uh huh. Sure,” he rolled his eyes.
The heiress then pulled out two hundred dollar bills and handed one to each of the twins without even looking at them.
“That hug never happened.”
Dipper just shrugged and pocketed the money.
“Do… Do you wanna talk about it?” Mabel asked slowly.
He thought it over for a moment before shaking his head.
“Not right now.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be here when you need me. Okay?”
“Okay.”
The three got up and the siblings made their way to the door until Mabel stopped all the sudden.
“You go ahead Bro-Bro. I wanna have a quick word with Pacifica first.”
Dipper nodded and went back to the theater. Pacifica braced herself for whatever teasing Mabel had in store for her-
“Thanks for your help back there.”
“Huh?” the girl blinked.
“I mean it. I don’t think I would have been able to help him alone,” the Pines girl smiled sincerely.
“You’re not gonna tease me?” she asked, making her friend laugh.
“Oh no, I’m definitely gonna tease you later, but right now I’m just grateful for what you did.”
“You could have handled it alone. You're his twin.”
“Except I wasn’t alone. I had you. And he had you. So, thank you.”
“…You’re welcome,” she smiled after a moment. Then she glared at her sternly. “But that never happened.”
“I don’t know~,” Mabel said in a sing-song voice. “I didn’t agree to silence, and you already gave me the money…”
“Give it back or I’ll sue you!” Pacifica called out as Mabel bolted and opened the door to the theater.
“TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKER!” and she slammed the door behind her. She sat down with her family and showed off the one-hundred dollars to her Grunkle, who smiled at her proudly. Hr even began to sniffle and wipe away a tear.
“I raised you well in these past few months.”
“You alright, Dipper?” Candace asked her new friend.
He turned to his sister and smiled before facing the redhead again.
“Yeah. I’m okay. Are you okay?”
“Well, this is another instance of my brother going to extreme lengths for Isabella, so yes. I’m very okay,” she grinned.
“Then good for you.”
She’s about to vomit when Jeremy pulls her down and gently walks her to the restaurant.
“Well, that didn’t work,” Doofenshmirtz said.
“Aw. Candace, you struck gold with him!” Mabel smiled.
“Yeah, I did,” the redhead grinned.
Ferb uses the feather duster to tickle the inside of Candace's throat. She says she has a tickle in her throat as she coughs and clears it.
Jeremy: Stay right here. I'm gonna go get some water.
Everyone smiled at the scene.
Candace coughs out the sub and it returns to normal size, with the boys coming out. She immediately calls their mom.
“Yeah, I’d do the same,” Hop Pop nodded.
Doofenshmirtz leaves the room by rolling through a boarded-up window. Perry follows him up to the giant vacuum cleaner.
“Not a bad exit. You should use your head more often,” Stan said.
“I know,”Heinz sighed.
Candace drags Linda to the submarine, but Doofenshmirtz's magnet belt snags on the switch of the vacuum, and he falls into the submarine. Then Perry's belt also snags on the switch, turning it on and sucking up the submarine.
♪ Perry! ♪
Candace returns with Linda only to see a giant submarine sandwich model.
“And there it is again,” Candace sighed. Then she actually smiled. “You know, as annoying as it is to see this over and over again, it feels good to know what happened.”
“And that’s part of your therapy here,” the host explained. “Is it working?”
“Yeah,” she said after a moment. “I think it is.”
Isabella arrives and shares that Pinky threw up her shash. Then Perry arrives.
“How come you guys didn’t think of that?” Wendy smirked at Phineas.
“We like to do things in style,” he answered.
“And there’s no other reason?” Stacy added.
The boy frowned in thought.
“Not that I’m aware of. Maybe?”
The shippers shrugged. It was progress.
Jeremy: Candace, I have a surprise for you. Check it out.
Candace: Sandwich menu? "The Candace Special"? (touched) Oh, you had a sandwich named after me?
Jeremy: Yeah. Grilled cheese, 'cause I know it's your favorite.
“Hey, Candace?” Eda began, still looking at the screen.
“Yeah?”
“Marry this man. He’s clearly a keeper.”
The young couple blushed brightly while the others laughed.
“I call Maid of Honor!” Stacy raised her hand.
“I call Bridesmaid!” Isabella added.
“I think we’re gonna get along great,” Mabel grinned.
Inside the submarine, Doofenshmirtz accidentally leans on the blue button. It shrinks and then lands inside the grilled cheese sandwich.
“Oh no!” the audience cried.
“This better not go the way I’m thinking,” Willow frowned.
Scene shifts to the inside the sandwich shop.
Candace: This is the end of a perfect day. My very own sandwich! I can't wait to try it!
Pinky eats Candace’s sandwich.
“Nevermind. You’re in the dog.”
Pinky immediately growled at the scientist.
Doofenshmirtz: (inside Pinky) Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
The audience laughed at that.
“How’d you get out?” Ginger asked.
“I’d rather not explain,” he responded with a shiver.
Doofenshmirtz: (gasps) I'm inside a dog! Perfect. Now I can pee all over the Tri-State Area! Ha ha ha ha ha! (sighs) Oh, what am I doing with my life?
Everyone laughed so hard that a few of them fell out of their seats.
“This when you started to have second thoughts about the whole conquest thing?” Eda smirked.
“Yep. Even I knew that was pathetic.”
“Alright people, this is the last one before we get into Gravity Falls.”
Doofenshmirtz beamed and looked at the door. His daughter was gonna join them any minute.
“You expecting company?” Stan asked.
“Your daughter perhaps?” Luz added.
“Maybe,” he smiled.
I Scream, You Scream
Phineas and Ferb visit Isabella in the hospital, who is being checked on by Dr. Hirano.
“Your mom’s a good doctor,” Isabella said to Stacy and Ginger.
“Thanks, Isabella,” they smiled.
Phinas: So, Isabella, what'cha dooooin'?
Isabella: (Raspy voice) Oh, just recovering. But I finally got my tonsillectomy patch.
“Ouch,” the humans winced.
“What’s a tonsillectomy?” Gus asked.
“Tonsils are fleshy masses at the back of the mouth that prevent infection. Sometimes they get too big and need to be removed surgically,” Baljeet explained.
“Do you ladies have a patch for everything?” Polly asked.
“Just about,” Adyson shrugged.
Unfortunately her throat still hurts, so they’ll have to postpone the Trojan War reenactment.
“Dudes, that looks like so much fun!” Soos beamed.
“Yeah, it does,” Jeremy muttered. He didn’t want the others to know he was a LARPER. Especially Candace.
“Do you guys do that at some point?” Anne asked.
“Spoilers,” Phineas responded.
Phineas: You know, the best part of getting your tonsils out is that you get to eat all the ice cream you want.
Isabella: Really?
Phineas: Mountains of it! You could have the biggest ice cream sundae ever made!
“Interesting~,” Polly grinned.
“You’re not going through surgery just to get ice cream,” Anne shot her down flatly.
“Well, maybe if I…”
“Polly, no,” Hop Pop added, making his granddaughter sigh.
Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
“So you guys are gonna make a literal giant sunday for her? Right after you postponed your big project for the same reasons?” Luz questioned.
“What are friends for?” he answered.
“That’s what I said to Amity. A few weeks later, we were dating,” she whispered to Gus and Willow with a smirk.
Unfortunately, Isabella didn’t notice the same thing she did.
“Yeah, friends. That’s all we’ll ever be,” the poor girl sighed. Dipper patted her on the back.
At Charlene and Vanessa's house… Charlene tells her that she’s with Heinz for the weekend.
“Woah, dude! That’s your ex-wife?!” Stan exclaimed.
“Yeah? So?” Heinz responded.
“Well, it’s just…”
“She’s way too attractive,” Eda bluntly stated.
“I’m gonna try not to be offended by that,” the scientist glared at her. “I’ll have you know that some women find me charming.”
“Apparently. Well done, man. Even if it didn’t work out, it’s still impressive that you were able to snag her at all,” Anne praised. “And now I get where your daughter gets her looks from.”
Vanessa: Great. A whole 48 hours of evil.
Charlene: Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, your father is not evil. We just didn't get along. We wanted different things.
“That’s all? Things between you are still okay?” Mabel asked.
“We’re amicable enough,” Doof shrugged. “We don’t hate each other or anything, we just didn’t work together romantically.”
“Huh,” was all she had to say.
“So, it had nothing to do with you being evil?” Anne questioned.
“I’m actually not sure she even knows, now that I think about it,” Doof admitted.
Vanessa: Was one of those things "To be evil"? Because he's evil.
Charlene: He's not evil, honey. No one's evil.
“I wish that were true,”
Dipper, Anne and Luz all thought at the same time.
Vanessa tries to explain it to her mom, but she thinks she’s just being dramatic. She even tries to show her the jingle, but Heinz answers the phone, and asks her to pick up some blueprints.
“I don’t believe it,” Candace said, stunned.
“She’s trying to bust someone too? Huh,” Polly added.
“Guess you two are more similar than you thought,” Stacy noted.
Vanessa: Great. Now he wants me to pick up some evil blueprints for his latest evil contraption. And as soon as he's done building it, I'll have proof! I'll call you, and you can see for yourself.
“You two are friends, right?” Dipper asked the redhead.
“We are, but not for this, actually,” a new voice answered. Everyone turned to see the door to the backyard open and out came Vanessa.
“Finally! You're here!” Heinz cheered and hugged his daughter as she sat down between him, Candace and Ferb.
“So, your mom doesn’t believe you about something that’s actually real. That’s rough,” the redhead began.
“Yep. I don’t think I ever had it as bad as you though.”
“How come you never brought it up?”
“I gave up on doing that pretty quickly and just learned to accept it as part of my life,” the brunette answered.
“That still must have been annoying to deal with though,” Dipper sympathised.
“Yeah. And I think we’re gonna get along just fine,” Vanessa smiled at him.
Ferb is at the blueprint store and the worker manages to find the ones for the ice cream sundae maker. That’s when Vanessa arrives to pick up her dad’s order.
Vanessa: (Looks at Ferb) Hey, how's it goin'?
“Oh, so that’s how you two met!” Phineas said.
“Pretty much,” Vanessa shrugged.
“You two are friends?” Sprig asked.
“Yeah. We kept bumping into each other and hit it off,” Vanessa shrugged.
“I can relate to that,” Wendy ruffled Dipper’s hair with a smile.
Candace gushes about Jeremy on the phone with Stacy. She has to cut it short when she sees Phineas receiving a delivery.
The audience snickered at the scene.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that your entire personality was centered around your man and busting your brothers,” Eda chortled..
Candace blushed brightly at the comment from the older woman. She had no idea just how true that statement was.
Delivery Guy: ...Say, aren't you a little...
Phineas: ...Young to be using titanium plating and an industrial arc welder? Yes. Yes I am. I get that a lot.
That got a few chuckles from everyone.
Candace demands to know what is going on.
Phineas: I'd like to tell you, but it's gonna be a big surprise. Hey, wait a second. Have you seen Perry?
“Oh, yeah. We should have seen this by now,” King noticed.
Perry's taking a nap on the lawn when he is launched into the air and lands on a hover car.
♪ Perry! ♪
“Woah! I don;t know what vehicle that thing is, but I want one!” the little Titan said, wagging his tail.
Perry just smiled at him, making a mental note to take his new student for a ride later.
Major Monogram: Sorry to wake you, Agent P. Looks like Doofenshmirtz is getting sloppy. He sent his daughter right into our sting operation and purchased blueprints for a Space Laser-inator. We intended to pass him fake plans, but due to a rookie error, and by "rookie", I mean Carl.
Carl: Sorry, my bad.
Major Monogram: The plans he received are real; terrifyingly real.
Carl: Again, I must apologize, I was in character--
Major Monogram: You better step on it, Agent P. Before it's too late.
The audience just blinked at the sight.
“I’m not sure what to think of that,” Luz admitted.
“That is a pretty impressive costume though,” Dipper noted. “The face looked so real!”
“What kind of store has plans for a space laser?” Isabella questioned.
“How is that even legal?” Candace added.
When cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!” Stan told her.
“Who even designed those?” Polly wondered.
“From what I know, some guy out west. I think his name started with a ‘Mc’?” Heinz said.
Everyone’s eyes widened, putting two and two together.
“McGucket?” Phineas asked the twins.
“Probably,” Dipper responded.
Candace tries to call Linda, but she has to hang up due to her cooking class.
“That’s to be expected,” Gus said.
Ferb arrives with the plans.
Phineas: Excellent! Isabella's gonna love it!
“Aw~! She was his first thought,” Anne gushed.
♪
Doo be doo be doo ba
♪
Perry arrives at Doof’s apartment, but he hasn’t even started yet. Then Vanessa comes in with the plans.
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, why don't you have a seat in my waiting area? Read some magazines! Sorry they're all in Spanish, I--I steal them from my neighbor. You know, evil never rests.
Everyone couldn’t help but laugh.
“Ahh. Nothing like casual robbery to brighten your day,” Eda sighed.
“Preach it, Clawthorne!” Stan put a hand over his heart.
“Are you sure you’re not evil? Either of you? At least Good Evil?” Heinz asked.
The pair just sighed before sharing a look and shrugged.
Vanessa: So, Dad, this plan, it's evil, right?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, yes, yes it is! It's nice to see you taking an interest in the family business.
The audience laughed at that.
“You know, now that the family business is changing, would you like to be more involved?” Doof asked his daughter.
“What would I even do?” she queried.
“Well, I’d love for you to be my heir, but you should probably start at the bottom. You know, to be fair and all that,” he grumbled.
“The new Mystery Shack could use some employees,” Stan offered.
“She could work the counter like me,” Wendy suggested.
“And that would entail?” Vanessa questioned.
“Nothing at all.”
“I’m in.”
Vanessa: That's all I need to know. (Phone beeps)
She tries to tell Charlene over the phone but she’s more interested in the cooking class.
Candace patted her friend on the back.
“That has to mean something that both your moms are at the same place,” Dipper argued.
Song: "Busted"
“Ooh! I like the beginning music here,” Anne praised.
“That was fun to sing,” the two teens said at the same time, surprising the other.
Vanessa: ♪ I can see the things you're doing, and you think that I'm naïve ♪
♪ But when I get the goods on you, she'll finally believe ♪
“Yes! Sing it, Pumpkin!” Heinz cheered.
Ferb couldn’t help but smile. He loved Vanessa’s singing voice.
“I don’t believe it,” Candace stared at the screen.
Candace: ♪ She says it's all just drama, but every bubble's got to pop ♪
♪ She's gonna see just what you're doing ♪
“Nice one, Candace!” Isabella praised.
“No way,” Vanessa said.
Both: ♪ And then you're finally gonna have to stop ♪
Candace and Vanessa blinked before looking at each other.
“You were singing this too?!” they both exclaimed.
“What? What’s happening?” Jeremy asked.
“Oh, get ready, Jeremy! You are gonna love this!” the redhead beamed.
“If we are shown singing this together, then there’s no way this won’t slay!” Vanessa grinned.
“How good is this gonna be?” Dipper questioned.
“This will be so good that it’ll blow that song you were listening to earlier out of the water,” Candace whispered to him with a grin.
Both: ♪ Don't think you're gonna win this time ♪
♪ 'Cause you better believe I'm gonna drop a dime on you ♪
Most of everyone’s jaws dropped half way through the first lyric. Stan’s eyebrows rose up. Jeremy began to blush. Anne, Mabel and Luz gasped. Ferb’s eyes widened. And Eda grinned.
♪ I'll get ya (Yeah!) ♪
♪ I'll get ya ♪
♪ And when I do, you're gonna be busted ♪
♪ Busted! ♪
“Holy cow, this is awesome!” Dipper exhaled.
The audience began to bop their heads to the beat.
Candace: ♪ I don't wanna put the hurt on you ♪
Both: ♪ But you better believe me when I tell you ♪
♪ That I finally got the dirt on you ♪
♪ You're busted ♪
♪ Busted! ♪
“Aw, heck yeah!” Polly cheered.
People were now dancing in their seats. You could feel their excitement in the air all around them.
Vanessa: ♪ Yeah, she's finally gonna see the light ♪
♪ This is how it's gonna be ♪
Both: ♪ When she finds out that I was always right ♪
♪ You're busted! ♪
The ending of the song was greeted with booming cheers, thunderous applause, and loud whistles. The two ladies rose up from their seats and each took a bow.
“Yeah! That’s our sister!/That’s my daughter!” Phineas and Heinz cheered.
“You were right! That song was amazing!” Dipper beamed.
“It was the coolest thing I ever heard!” Polly hopped in her seat.
“Can we listen to that again?!” Sprig asked.
“I wanna hear it looped for an hour!” Gus grinned.
“Can you ladies teach me how to sing like that?!” Mabel ran over to the pair, looking up at them with big adorable eyes.
“Wow, if that’s the reaction we get, then we should sing together more often,” Vanessa smirked.
“Dudes, that could totally be an attraction at the new Shack!” Soos suggested.
“Now that’s a performance I’d pay to watch,” Luz gave a finger gun.
“Really? In that case, I want in on this new business,” Eda said, grinning. “How much to invest?”
“We hit the jackpot!” Doofenshmirtz cheered. “What’s a good percentage Stan? Stan?”
Stan just stared at the screen. He felt… intimidated. Specifically by Candace. The old Pines had a feeling that if she tried to “bust” anyone else with the same effort she did her brothers, then she’d succeed. And if she went after him…
“I think I might want to keep the crime to a minimum around her.”
Doofenshmirtz traps Perry in a cage and begins to explain his plan to Vanessa.
Doofenshmirtz: Ever since that stupid billboard went up, my panoramic view is completely ruined. I used to have this perfect vantage point for enjoying the delicious misery of others.
A flashback of Heinz happily watching people suffer from his window is shown.
“Ha ha! Schadenfreude!” King laughed.
“Exactly!” Heinz grinned.
“Except for that guy who got audited though. Curse you, IRS!” Stan shook his fist.
Doofenshmirtz plans to launch his space laserinator into orbit and use it to destroy the billboard. Then nature, beauty, and morning talk show hosts!
The audience stared at the scene in slight fear.
“He has a Death Star,” Anne said, not taking her eyes away from the screen. “A petty man has been given a Death Star.”
“Welp, there goes the planet,” Polly added.
“It was nice while it lasted,” Hop Pop mentioned.
“Except that’s not the space laserinator,” Dipper pointed out.
“Hey, you’re right,” Milly realized.
“Then that means…” Mabel trailed off, putting two and two together.
Doofenshmirtz: Soon, there will be nothing that can withstand the wrath of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!
Vanessa: Doctor? Since when are you a doctor?
Doofenshmirtz: (holds up his diploma) They don't just give these out to anybody, you know.
Vanessa: Anybody with 15 bucks, they do.
“Wait, so you’re just pretending to be a doctor?” Luz questioned.
“That’s no surprise,” Stacy said flatly.
“HEY! I went to college! I spent
eight years
getting all the credit hours! They just… didn’t allow me to graduate,” yelled until he sighed the last part, bowing his head.
The others were taken aback by that statement.
“So, what happened?” Soos asked, causing the scientist to sigh.
“Well, as I’m sure you remember, I’m from Drusselstein, which makes me an immigrant,” he began.
“Oh! Huh. I hadn’t thought of that,” Anne admitted.
“Unfortunately, the circumstances around my arrival weren’t exactly normal. I didn’t have a passport, was underage, and alone. I had no one to tell me what I was supposed to do, so one of the first things I did was try to get an education. I applied to the community college and started working on my degree. I passed all my courses and applied for graduation in my final semester.” The man sighed again. “This is where the ‘unfortunately’ comes into play. Apparently I didn’t fill out all the paperwork when I was getting my education visa, so the information I put on my citizenship status turned out to be an unintended lie. The school board didn’t like that and they declared all my hard work invalid. By the time I was naturalized, it was too late. I would have had to start over completely.”
Everyone’s faces fell when the story ended. Even Perry, the one who was used to these, felt bad for the man.
Anne felt it most of all. Her parents had immigrated from Thailand and it wasn’t easy. It was a long and hard road for them to get their citizenship. She was born in LA, so she was already safe, but her parents weren’t. And the family had been terrified of all the ways it could have gone wrong.
Vanessa looked at her father in saddened disbelief. Then she tackled him in a hug that he was quick to return.
“I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“It’s alright, Pumpkin.” He pulled away after a moment, put kept his hold on her. “But so what if I didn;t get that piece of paper the right way! I learned everything I needed to! So, for all intents and purposes, I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!” he said with pride. “And no one can take that away!”
Vanessa: Oh my gosh! This is worse than I thought! Oh, Dad is going to be so busted.
♪ Busted ♪
“Ooh! I can get used to that!” Mabel grinned.
Linda and Charlene get calls from their daughters and agree to head over.
Linda: Teenagers!
Charlene: Tell me about it.
“Do we have a right to be offended by that?” Wendy asked.
“I have no idea,” Jeremy said.
Doofenshmirtz pushes the button to begin his reign of terror! Evil terror. But instead, it splatters ice cream all over him.
The audience tried to hold in their laughter out of respect. It didn’t feel right to let it out after the story they just heard.
“He got the ice cream machine!” Dipper cackled.
“Oh no! If he has the ice cream machine, then that means they have the laser!” Mabel screamed.
The group sucked in a breath.
Phineas and Ferb press the button to make the giant sundae. But then the machine launches into space. Phineas looks at the plans and realizes they’re for the space laserinator. Good thing they didn’t attach the laser.
Everyone exhaled in relief.
“Thank whoever for that,” King sighed.
Linda and Candace come out to only see them with the sundae bowl.
Phineas: We're just about to make a nice handmade sundae for Isabella.
Linda: Oh, that is so sweet! Come on in the kitchen. I'll help you with it.
“Wait, wait, wait! Just hold on for a second!” Dipper shook his head. “You mean to tell me that she didn’t see that laser that was just
a few feet away?!”
“WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Candace screamed.
“Oh, that’s just not fair!” Luz frowned.
“Look on the bright side. She helped with the ice cream,” Sprig offered.
Vanessa and Charlene come in to see Heinz covered in ice cream.
Charlene: (presses button; more ice cream falls) Oh... I'm paying you way too much alimony.
“You’re getting alimony?” Stan asked.
“Yeah. That may or may not be my primary source of income,” Doof admitted sheepishly.
“Yeesh! That’s rough.”
Charlene sees Perry in pet mode and lets him out of the cage, thinking he’s a mistreated pet.
Vanessa: But Mom, that's a secret agent!
Charlene: A secret agent? He's just a little platypus. They don't do much, you know.
Everyone shook their heads and chuckled.
“Well, apparently not,” Baljeet said.
In Isabella's room, Isabella is presented with a normal sized ice cream sundae.
Isabella: Wow, guys, this is amazing! I was afraid you guys were gonna go overboard and build some giant sundae contraption or something!
“Oh. You didn’t want us to do something like that?” Phineas questioned, getting nervous all the sudden for reasons he couldn’t identify.
“Phineas, I love what you do,” Isabella began softly. “But sometimes I just want something simple. All that really matters to me is how you go out of your way for me and everyone else. When you show how dedicated you are. That is your best quality.”
“Oh. Wow. Thanks.” was all he could say. The boy felt his stomach twist and heart beat faster in that moment. Though he didn’t know why.
Phineas: Actually, we were gonna do that, but we accidentally built a space laser instead. (At Ferb) Ferb, you're usually so focused. How'd you get those plans confused?
A flashback of Ferb meeting Vanessa plays. She appears over a pink background with flowers and her own theme music.
Vanessa: Hey, how's it goin'?
Phineas and Candace’s jaws dropped. Perry’s eyes widened larger than they ever had before. The others smirked at the sight. Though they were still surprised to see this from the seemingly stoic boy.
As for Ferb himself, Oh the poor boy’s eyes widened in panic.
Huh,” Dipper said.
Phineas: Hey, Ferb. Snap out of it. What happened back there?
Ferb: (pause) I was weak.
That got laughs from the other groups.
“Dude, I have been there,” Dipper laughed and even patted the green haired kid in the back. It was nice to meet someone who had been in the exact same situation as him.
“I was wondering about that,” Vanessa said simply.
“Oh my gosh, you knew?!” Luz exclaimed.
“I kinda figured,” she shrugged. Then she placed her hand on Ferb’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Hey, don’t worry, Ferb. I’m not gonna let this change anything. We’re still friends. Okay?”
He stared at her in silence for a minute. Then he nodded.
“Wow, that went way better than-” Mabel was cut off. Not by the silencing spell, but by Dipper’s hand.
“That’;s enough of that!” Then he recoiled in disgust. “Are you licking my hand?! Again?!”
His twin just smirked at him.
Heinz stared at the screen in surprise. Then to everyone’s surprise, he began to laugh. That laugh grew louder and harder with every second.
“The irony. Oh, the sweet, delicious irony!” he guffawed.
The others sent him weird looks.
“Something you’d like to share with the rest of us?” Stan asked.
“Give me a second,” he took a moment to breathe and wipe away a tear. “Okay. There are two parts to this, but the second is a spoiler, so I’ll focus on the first. This boy, a family member of my nemesis, has a crush on my daughter. The irony is priceless!”
It took a moment for the group to process this information. Then they started to laugh too. Even Vanessa.
Perry looked like he still couldn;t comprehend what he had witnessed. And Doof’s teasing grin wasn’t helping.
“And the second thing, Perry the Platypus,” he leaned in to whisper. “Is that he is the son of my ex. Which is even funnier!”
Perry looked taken aback.
“What? Contrary to popular belief, I’m not an idiot. I just didn;t want to mention it and make things awkward. Plus that might be a spoiler,” he shrugged. “But isn’t it hilarious?! The son of a woman who turned me down is now head over heels for my daughter! It’s perfect.”
And he went back to looking at the screen.
An extension of “Busted” is shown.
“We get an extension?” Willow beamed.
“Aw, heck yeah!” Polly cheered.
“Ha ha! Yes!” Dipper grinned.
Vanessa/Candace: ♪ There's a new cop on the beat, and I'm bringin' down the heat ♪
Candace: ♪ My eyes are wise to all your lies, 'cause you're not that discreet ♪
“How do you both sound so good?!” Anne exclaimed.
Vanessa: ♪ And I don't care what you heard ♪
Both: ♪ 'Cause there's one 6-letter word ♪
“I love these lyrics!” Marcy gushed in the other room.
Vanessa: ♪ It's gonna set me free ♪
Candace: ♪ Gonna set me free ♪
Vanessa: ♪ It starts with a "B" ♪
Candace: ♪ Starts with a "B" ♪
The audience was enthusiastically dancing in their seats again, and bobbing their heads to the beat.
Both: ♪ Goes "B-U-S-T-E-D", you are busted ♪
The kids and teens found themselves singing the final lyric with the girls on screen.
“Is there a way I can get a recording of that song?” Dipper asked.
“Poetic,” Hooty sniffled.
“Dr. D, can I talk to you for a minute?” Candace asked seriously.
“Of course,” he nodded with the same tone.
The two got up and walked over to a new door in the back. They walked into the empty room.
Phineas turned to his brother, still shocked.
“Ferb, why didn;t you tell me?”
“I was weak.” And that perfectly summed up everything for his brother.
Candace and Heinz closed the door behind them.
That was when all pretenses dropped and the pair grinned at each other.
“Okay, I think I know what you’re thinking…” Candace began.
“And I think you’re thinking it too. So you go ahead and say it.”
“We have to get them together!”
“Agreed! I actually like the kid. But we have to wait until he’s eighteen. Otherwise the whole thing will fall apart.”
“Obvi,” she rolled her eyes, but the smile never left. “I can’t believe it. I could have Vanessa as my sister-in-law! This is so amazing!”
“So, he’s twelve now, going on thirteen. That gives us five and a half years to plan and prepare.”
“You're my teacher now, so we can talk it over during tutoring sessions.”
“Good idea. Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!”
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Wkh Wlwdq udlvhg d sdz dqg oljkw jobskv vzluohg durxqg lw. Wkhq wkhb iruphg d krorjudsklf surmhfwlrq. Lw orrnhg olnh d exvk zlwk eodfn vwhpv dqg ehuulhv ri doo vruwv ri gliihuhqw froruv.
Krzhyhu, lw orrnhg olnh wkh ehuulhv zhuh exuqlqj dzdb rqh dw d wlph.
“Wklv lv wkh Pxowlyhuvh. Hdfk vwhp dv zh nqrz lv d sdwk wkdw hdfk xqlyhuvh wdnhv. Wkhlu rzq surshu iorz ri wlph. Dqg wkh wklqjv wkdw orrn olnh iuxlw duh xqlyhuvhv.” Kh jdlqhg d vdgghqhg iurzq. “Dqg wkhb duh gblqj.”
“Vxfk lv wkh idwh ri dqb xqlyhuvhv,” wkh Jxdugldq erzhg klv khdg. “Vrphwlphv zruogv mxvw glh.”
“Lw lv wkh qdwxudo flufoh ri olih, Hdqnl,” Ghdwk vkuxjjhg. “L qhhg wr halvw wr hqg wkh olyhv ri wkh rog, vr wkdw wkh qhz olih fdq halvw.”
“L nqrz wkdw ehwwhu wkdq prvw,” wkh Wlwdq qrgghg. “Exw whoo ph, gr brx doo nqrz zkb wklv lv kdsshqlqj?”
“L rqob nqrz wklqjv derxw rxu rzq xqlyhuvh,” Khlqc uxeehg wkh edfn ri klv qhfn.
“Dv gr L,” wkh Darorwo vdlg.
“L’yh ehhq pruh irfxvhg rq brxu xqlyhuvh’v Dqqh Errqfkxb odwhob,” wkh Jxdugldq dgplwwhg.
“Zhoo, L gr. Hyhub xqlyhuvh kdv d gliihuhqw yhuvlrq ri hyhubrqh.”
Hdqnl orrnhg dw wkhp zlwk frpsohwh vhulrxvqhvv.
“Hyhub xqlyhuvh kdv d Eloo Flskhu. Dqg rxw ri doo wkh lqilqlwh srvvlelolwlhv ri wkh Pxowlyhuvh, rxu xqlyhuvh lv wkh rqob rqh zkhuh wkrvh Slqhv Wzlqv vxuylyh wkh vxpphu. Phdqlqj rxuv lv wkh rqob rqh zkhuh Flskhu lv ghihdwhg.”
“Phdqlqj wkdw wkh uhvw ri wkh Pxowlyhuvh lv grrphg wr wkh ghvwuxfwlrq vsuhdglqj iurp hlwkhu wkh Qljkwpduh Uhdop, ru Eloo’v vkhhu fkdrv,” wkh Darorwo sxw wrjhwkhu.
“Rk, uljkw. L uhphpehu wklv qrz,” wkh fdw vdlg. “Wkhuh’v rqob rqh rwkhu xqlyhuvh wkdw lv vdih, dqg wkdw’v wkh rqh zkhuh Vwdqirug dqg Ilggohirug suhyhqw klp iurp hyhu frplqj wr Hduwk.” Wkhq kh iurzqhg lq frqixvlrq. “L grq;w xqghuvwdqg rog iulhqg. Zkdw’v wkh zruub? Wkdqnv wr wkhvh wzr xqlyhuvhv ehlqj vdih, wkh hqwluh Pxowlyhuhvh vkrxog eh deoh wr uhjurz iurp wkhlu eudqfkhv.”
“Wkdw’v wkh wklqj,” Hdqnl erzhg klv khdg dqg hqghg wkh surmhfwlrq. “Wkhb’uh qrw.”
“Krz?” Ghdwk dvnhg.
Wkh Wlwdq mxvw orrnhg dw wkhDarorwo. Wkh wzr vhhphg wr kdyh d vlohqw frqyhuvdwlrq iru d ihz prphqwv. Wkhq wkh Frvplf Ehlqj ri Uhlqfduqdwlrq forvhg klv hbhv lq uhvljqdwlrq.
“Grhv wklv phdq zkdw L wklqn lw phdqv?”
“L’p vruub, rog iulhqg. Lw grhv.”
“Zkdw? Zkdw duh brx wzr wdonlqj derxw?” Khlqc dvnhg.
“Qr, lw frxogq’w eh,” wkh Jxdugldq vkrrn klv khdg. “Brx orfnhg klp dzdb lq wkh Wkhudsulvp. Kh’v vwloo wkhuh.”
“Kh’v qrw,” wkh Wlwdq vdlg.
Hyhubrqh wxuqhg wr klp iru fodulilfdwlrq. Dqg wkhq wkh guhdghg zrugv fdph rxw.
“Eloo Flskhu lv iuhh.”
Notes:
1) I've started a few new fics that I think have the potential to be really great stories. If you would give them a chance, that would be appreciated. They're more crossover fics with these cartoons. I'm gonna set them up as part of a series with this one when I get the chance.
2) Now that I can finally ask this, what are your Top 10 favorite chapters so far?
3) How excited are you for the GF chapter? I'm gonna try to release it before the year ends. It's gonna be the next three Dipper episodes. So, the others will finally learn about his crush on Wendy. That'll be fun. For us.
4) What would you guys say if I started a YouTube channel where I talked about the writing of my favorite movies, shows and cartoons? I'd even make a few videos on how I wrote my chapters, like my thought process. I'm thinking of one where I breakdown the Stolitz arc in Helluva Boss season 2 to start it off.
Progress Tracker:
Summaries: 2/3
Reactions: 2/3
Code: 1/1
Words: 13271 and ongoing
Chapter 13: A Day in the Life of Dipper Pines
Notes:
Dear God, this took a lot longer than I thought and than it should. But I have a perftly reasonable explanation: Avatar: The Last Airbender. I got Netflix earlier this month and binged the whole thing. Now I'm half way through Legend of Korra Season 3.
Honestly, I did not think I would get this out before February. It's almost midnight for me, so I'm cutting it close. I'm amazed that I wrote the reaction and summaries for Double Dipper starting this afternoon. Makes me wonder...
Also, THIS STORY IS NOW A YEAR OLD AND HAS NEARLY 80,000 HITS! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I never thought it would become this popular. Much less, my best story. It means so much to me that you all love it so much. It gives me hope that I can become a real writer in the future. 'Cause when this story hits 100,000... we can start talking about ways to support this story, if you catch my drift. ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Inconveniencing
Dipper is reading the Journal while Mabel is spinning on a globe.
Dipper: Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?
Mabel: I believe you’re a real dork!
Dipper proceeds to stop the globe with a pencil and she falls off.
The audience laughed at the twins' sibling antics.
“Ah, that takes me back,” Eda sighed.
Stan says he’s heading out and asks if Soos and Wendy are gonna clean the bathrooms.
Soos: Yes sir!
Wendy: Absolutely not.
Everyone laughed once again at Wendy’s blatant refusal.
“Yuck, I would die before doing that,” Candace said.
“I don’t even wanna know what kinda bathrooms you have out there,” Vanessa agreed.
“Hey, Grunkle Stan? What were you doing anyways?” Mabel asked.
“I was scouting a chemical plant,” he whispered.
“Where you stole the radioactive waste,” Dipper’s eyes widened in realization, making their Grunkle nod in confirmation.
Wendy reveals a ladder hidden behind a curtain and takes the twins up to the roof, where a cooler and chair are waiting.
Wendy: I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday.
Eda cackled upon hearing that.
“Kid, if I didn’t like you before, I do now!”
“Thanks, lady. You’re really cool too,” Wendy smiled at the Witch.
“You don’t look surprised,” Hop Pop observed Stan’s indifferent expression, getting a shrug in response.
“I’m letting her do this.”
“You are?” almost everyone questioned.
“Yeah.”
“Why?” Heinz asked.
“I just am.”
Mabel narrowed her eyes at him. Then she started rubbing her forehead.
“Wait a minute. I think I have an idea happening here…” The girl soon gasped loudly. “SHE HAS BLACKMAIL ON YOU!”
“For real?” Jeremy snickered.
“No she doesn’t!” Pines quickly denied.
“Yeah, I do,” Wendy grinned, causing everyone else to laugh.
“Oh man, how bad is it?” Gus asked through his laughter.
“Let’s see, how to answer that without spilling the beans?” Wendy wondered. “I wounded his pride, and now he lets me do what I want so I don’t tell anybody.”
“Dude, that is fantastic!” Anne laughed.
The three then start throwing Pine cones at a target on the totem pole. Dipper misses and hits a car instead, making the alarm go off.
Wendy: Jackpot! High five!
When she holds up her hand, Dipper’s view is shown and Wendy looks heavenly with the light shining just so and the wind in her hair.
Wendy: Don’t leave me hanging.
The audience blinked for a moment. Then they grinned at the boy.
“Ohhhh. So, this is what you meant when you said you understood what I was going through,” Isabella smirked at him.
“Ha ha. Yeah,” he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Okay, okay,” Candace nodded with a smirk.
“Well, well, well. She’s kinda cute,” Anne teased.
“Oh no,” Dipper went, burying his face in his hands.
“Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.”
“Please stop.”
“You’re being weird again, Anne,” Sprig chided.
“I’m sorry. This is just too juicy!” she gushed.
“Is this his first crush?” Luz asked his sister.
“Yep! And boy was it adorable to watch,” Mabel smiled.
“Aw~!” Luz cupped her cheeks.
“So, you like redheads? I can see the appeal,” Jeremy mentioned, putting an arm around his girlfriend, who sighed dreamily as she leaned into his shoulder.
“Yeesh! I have to watch this again?” Stan complained.
“If that’s the case, I hope the gnomes attack me again,” Dipper said sullenly. Ferb then patted him on the back, which the young Pines greatly appreciated.
“No, no! We’re not making fun of you,” Luz responded.
“It’s kinda sweet, actually,” Stacy smiled.
“Agreed!” Mabel chirped.
“But I just got over her! And now I have to relive all the embarrassing things I did and said? I don’t want that!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Dip, it’s okay,” Wendy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We’ve all had embarrassing crushes at some point. Heck, I had one on this older kid I met when I was five,” she laughed before turning to the others. “Anyone else?”
Luz, Willow, Candace, Jeremy, Sprig, Hop Pop and Ferb raised their hands. Isabella opted for a discrete nod. This had the effect of Mabel and Anne letting out excited squeals.
“Wait a minute. You already know?!” Anne exclaimed at the Corduroy.
“Yeah, I found out a while ago,” Wendy shrugged. “It doesn’t change anything.”
Meanwhile, in the Mystery Shack…
Pacifica’s eye twitched at the sight before her.
He. Likes. HER?!
The young heiress clenched her fists and glared at the screen with a red face of fury.
Wendy’s friends arrive so she leaves work early with her and Dipper miming zipped lips and throwing away the key. She then proceeds to swing down a tree to get to the car.
“Aw, that’s cute,” Candace smiled at the pair’s interaction.
“Girl, you’ve got to teach me that!” Stacy beamed.
“Sure,” the lumberjack grinned.
Mabel: Somebody’s in love!
Dipper: Yeah, right! I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about her!
The audience exchanged sly looks.
Dipper lays awake at night thinking about her.
Dipper: Uh oh.
Everyone guffawed at that.
“Wait, laying awake at night thinking about someone is a sign you have a crush on them?” Phineas asked.
“Yes,” Luz said.
“Definitely,” Candace added.
“Absolutely,” Sprig finished.
Phineas’s eyes widened. They quickly flickered over to Isabella before he shook his head, and returned his attention to the screen.
No, that’s crazy. She’s my best friend.
Mabel: Random dance party for no reason!
All the kids started dancing in their seats.
Dipper pretends to write something down off to the side.
That got a few laughs while Mabel shook her head.
“Bro-Bro, quit being a creep.”
“I know, I know! I was just so nervous,” he buried his head in his hands.
“Well, don’t worry, oh brother of mine. The next time you have a crush-”
“Mabel, I’m not having a next crush,” he cut her off. “I went through that once, and I’m never going through that again. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that crushes are a waste of time.”
She quirked a brow at him.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes.”
“Famous last words. That’s what you said last time,” Mabel smirked.
“No it isn’t.”
“Candace, please turn to page 164 of Journal 3.”
Candace picked up the Journal and flipped through the pages before landing on the one with a sketch of Wendy.
“Well, this is interesting,” she smirked. “You said: ‘Crushes are a waste of time. That’s why I never have them. Nope. Never. Not once. One time while Stan was giving us our daily chores, her elbow touched mine. Oh no, she’s looking at me!! I’M PRETENDING TO WRITE SOMETHING DOWN.’”
Polly, Eda, King, Stan and Heinz wasted no time in laughing. The others just smirked at him. Dipper himself was blushing a bright red.
“I rest my case. Is it to your satisfaction, my dear twin?” Mabel grinned innocently.
“Just-Just look at the screen!” he stammered.
Wendy asks if Dipper will join, to which he says he doesn’t dance. Mabel then reveals that their mother would dress him up in a lamb costume and do “The Lamby Dance!”
Dipper: Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance.
Wendy asks for details, so Mabel procures a picture.
“Oh my gosh, that’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen!” Luz gushed.
“Oh man! And right in front of the crush! Ha!” Anne laughed.
“Well, at least you're not forced to be the family lawn gnome,” Heinz sighed.
“Wow. At least I was paid when I wore the platypus and brick suits,” Candace added.
“Or when I have that weenie on my head,” Jeremy said.
“I’m just glad I’m not suffering alone, now,” Dipper mentioned. Then his eyes widened in panic. “Not that I’m glad you guys went through those things! I just mean-”
“Kid, we know what you mean,” the blonde smiled at him.
“At least you don’t have to do that now,” Sprig commented, making Dipper look away. He knew that wasn’t true. On two accounts.
Wendy’s about to hang out with her friends. Dipper asks if they can come, so she asks their age. He says they’re 13. So, technically teens!
“Wait, I thought you guys were twelve at the start of your show,” Sprig said.
“Did we skip a birthday episode?” Gus asked.
“About that…” Dipper trailed off.
Dipper’s answer confuses Mabel, to which Dipper implies that he lied to hang out with cool older kids. And Wendy too.
“Lying to impress a crush? Yeah, that checks out,” Luz shrugged.
“Add that to the list of things we have in common,” Candace smirked.
Pacifica let out a quiet growl in the other room.
Mabel: I knew it! You love her! Love love love love love!
Dipper distracts her and flips her hair over her face.
The audience cackled at the interaction.
“Ah, there’s nothing in this life that compares to good old sibling bickering,” Eda sighed happily.
“Amen, lady,” Polly nodded.
“Preach it, Clawthorne,” Stan agreed.
Outside, Wendy’s friends are throwing jellybeans at Thompson’s belly button. She then shows them all up by hitting a bullseye. Her friends cheer for her and she introduces them to Dipper and Mabel.
The door to the Gravity Falls room opened up and out walked said friend group. They all sat down beside Wendy. All except for Robbie that is, who was still in the other room.
“Everyone, meet our friends: Nate, Lee, Thompson and Tambrie,” Wendy introduced.
There was a mix of meet and greet for the next minute.
“Why were you guys doing that?” Jeremy frowned.
“It was fun,” Lee shrugged.
“Yeah,” Nate agreed.
Thompson just bowed his head, which did not go unnoticed by the others.
“He didn’t look too happy there,” Phineas mentioned.
“No. No he did not,” Isabella nodded.
“Hey, where’s that Robbie guy? Isn’t he part of your friend group too?” Sprig asked.
Not knowing how to answer that, they just looked at each other and shrugged.
Dipper’s introduction is… awkward.
Robbie questions if she’s babysitting.
“Ouch,,” Anne winced.
Robbie was the one who spray-painted the water-tower.
Dipper: Oh, you mean the big muffin!
Robbie: Uh, it’s a giant explosion.
“Yeah, no. That looks more like a muffin,” Vanessa tilted her head.
“The vertical lines, especially,” Ferb added.
They hop in the car and Mabel writes over the graffiti “You look nice today!”
Mabel: Ha! This is gonna blow someone's mind!
There were a few smiles at Mabel’s sweetness.
Dipper wants Mabel to stop embarrassing him. She’s about to loudly call Wendy his girlfriend when he covers her mouth.
Dipper: Ugh! Did you just lick my hand?
The audience laughed again.
“That’s thrice now we’ve gotten a sibling bickering antics moment,” Eda wiped away a tear after she finally stopped laughing. “I like your style, Kid. Personally, I would have bitten him, but that works too.”
“Well, I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted his hand off my face,” Mabel responded.
Luz grumbled because she knew for a fact that Hunter was smirking in the other room.
On the bright side, I guess that means we are siblings.
Stan is watching tv.
Stan: Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up! (The Duchess Approves is about to start) KIDS! (It starts) NO! NOOOO!
“I have a feeling we’re gonna be laughing a lot this episode,” Isabella giggled after she and everyone else had guffawed..
“Dude, just get up. You’re probably sitting on it,” Anne chided.
“It’s the principle of the matter,” Stan waved her off.
“You said it! I have this great view of a drive-in movie theater from my place. But ever since they put up this new building, it’s completely blocked it!” Heinz complained.
“Dad, you could have just moved your chair to literally the next window over,” Vanessa sighed.
“Yeah, but then I’d have to move the lamp too, and it’d just be a whole thing.”
“I’m afraid to ask this, but what did you try to do?” Tambrie questioned despairingly.
“I made an inator to move the whole building.”
Everyone just blinked at the man.
“Makes sense,” Stan nodded, completely non-pulsed by the absurdity of the idea.
“Okay, I'm only gonna ask this once, have you ever had a big idea like this before for something so small?” Anne asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Hmmm…. I tried to rocket Big Ben to Danville so I wouldn’t have to buy a watch.”
“That also makes sense,” Stan nodded again.
“You crazy old men,” Boonchuy scoffed.
“Hey! I am not old! I’m 47!” Doofenshmirtz glared.
“That’s old, Dad,” Vanessa said, making her father pout.
The group arrives at the condemned Dusk 2 Dawn. Some people died there, and it’s been rumored to be haunted ever since.
“This place is totally haunted, isn’t it?” Sprig asked. The silence was confirmation.
“Please don’t tell me you’re about to do what I think you’ll do?” Willow pleaded.
“Uh, okay. We won’t tell you,” Thompson said, making the entire Owl House group groan.
“Are you people out of your minds?!” Gus exclaimed.
“Never disturb a ghost’s home! It only ends badly!” Eda chastised.
“We didn’t think it was real!” Nate admitted.
“We were wrong! We were so wrong!” Lee cried.
The group climbs over the fence. Dipper has to be thrown down.
“Yeesh,” Stacy frowned.
The door is locked, so Dipper offers to give it a try. Robbie immediately mocks him.
Wendy: Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid.
“I’m sorry, Dipper,” Wendy frowned.
“It’s okay, Wendy.”
Dipper then uses a dumpster to get to the roof and enters through the vents. He comes out, opening the front door from the inside.
“Woah! Way to go, Dipper!” Candace cheered.
“That’s my Bro!” Mabel hugged him.
“Nice one, man,” Gus praised.
“Good job, Kid,” Stan patted him on the shoulder.
“”That was pretty cool,” Polly said.
“Thanks, guys,” Dipper smiled.
Nate: Your new name is Dr. Funtimes.
“Dr. Funtimes!” the Gravity Falls teens cheered.
The group enters the store, not noticing the sign switching from open to closed.
The audience paled at the sight.
“It’s already begun,” Phineas gulped.
“Oh boy,” Anne winced.
“We were doomed from the start,” Wendy bowed her head.
“Wanna bet on which of them is gonna be punished first?” Polly asked with a grin.
“Polly!” the other groups exclaimed.
“Kid, that is just insensitive and disrespectful… five snails on the goth girl!” Eda grinned.
“I’ll take that action,” Stan responded. “I say the blonde.”
“The one in the hoodie,” Heinz added.
“The big fella,” Polly finished.
“Did… did they not hear our names earlier?” Lee asked.
“No, I think they just don’t care,” Tambry responded.
A montage plays of everyone goofing off in the store.
“Well, at least you’re all having a good time,” Luz smiled.
“Yeah, that was a good time,” Wendy grinned.
“At first, anyway,” Mabel said before shivering.
Mabel: Oh my gosh! Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America.
“That’s it! Smile Dip by Syms. That’s the company that made Blam Berry Blitz,” Luz remembered.
“The one that’s banned from the U.S.?” Anne asked.
“Yeah. It happened back in the late 80s because the eating too much of it can cause halucin…a…tions,” Luz trailed off as the realization hit her.
Everyone turned to the Pines girl to see that she was burying herself in sweater town.
“Mabel?” Stan inquired.
“That stuff is evil,” was all she said.
“Oh dear,” Luz went.
Wendy praises Dipper for the night being legendary. The guys are bonding and Tambry’s never looked up from her phone for this long. Tambry looks up for a second.
“That’s actually a long time for me, believe it or not,” Tambry said, still looking at her phone.
“Wait a minute, who are you texting?” Dipper questioned.
“A few people from the Shack,” she responded as she sent a few heart emojis to Robbie. Then she switched to texting Pacifica.
Wendy: And your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip.
Mabel: Ugh... Maybe I've had too much. What do you think?
Mabel’s hallucination is shown.
Flavor Pup: Elknurg...tsurtsid...tsum…
“Holy mackerel!” Stan screamed while everyone else gasped. “Sweety, are you okay?!”
“Evil,” was all she had to say.
Flavor Pup 2: Would you like to eat my candy paws?
Mabel: Of course you little angel.
She grabs the paw and chews it, but in reality, it’s just air.
“Those are not good dogs,” Mabel glared.
Anne, Candace and Luz placed comforting hands on the poor girl.
“So, hallucinations… that sucks,” Anne said.
“Mabel, I’m so sorry!” Wendy began. “I had no idea how out of it you were.”
“I’m sorry too. I should have stopped that,” Dipper frowned.
“Thanks, guys,” she smiled.
“No wonder that stuff was banned. And these were the guys that made Blam Berry Blitz?” Phineas asked.
“Mhmm,” Luz nodded while she comforted Mabel.
“I’m definitely never having that again,” Anne promised herself.
Wendy: You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age.
Dipper: Yes, yes I am.
He smears ice cream on face while trying to act cool.
There were some chuckles while Dipper looked away in embarrassment.
“If I had a nickel for everytime I did that, I’d be rich,” Candace said.
The guys need more ice, so Dipper goes to get a bag. But when he does, he sees a horrifying brain monster with eyes and vein-arms.
The audience screamed at the sight.
“Oh my Forg!” Hop Pop yelled.
“Dear Titan!” Gus exclaimed.
“Hot Belgian Waffles!” Stan screamed
He drops the ice in fright, but when he looks again the monster is gone. The others come over and question what happened, so Dipper misdirects them to Dancy Pants Revolution.
“Kid, why didn’t you tell us?” Nate asked, still reeling from what they saw.
“Would you guys have believed me, or would you have thought I was just a scared kid?” Dipper questioned with a look. The teens bored their heads, knowing he was right.
“Oh, I know that game. Sasha and I played its successor all the time back at the mall,” Anne said.
“Is it fun?” Thompson asked.
“Super fun.”
While everyone cheers on Thompson as he plays the game, Dipper sees their reflections as skeletons.
Everyone recoiled and screamed again in fright, the Gravity Falls teens more than the others.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Wendy covered her mouth. “Blood I can handle, but this? This is too much.”
Tambry took a picture of her and Robbie’s skeletons together.
“New wallpaper.”
“Why is the kid the one seeing all this? He’s the least disrespectful one here, so why is he getting the haunting?” Eda questioned.
“Beats me,” Dipper shrugged.
“Maybe he’s not the only one being haunted? Maybe he’s just the only one paying attention?” Baljeet suggested.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” the Witch nodded.
Dipper tries to call Grunkle Stan, but unfortunately, he’s actually loving The Duchess Approves.
Stan: Yes! Yes! In your face Elizabeth! It's just like my life!...in a way.
Hop Pop and Heinz both laughed at the screen.
“Enjoying the movie, huh?” Plantar smirked.
“Can it, you two,” he glared.
“No no. We’re not making fun of you,” Doof shook his hands. “We already know how he gets it. A while back I was stuck watching this Telenovela that I actually grew to love. You’re among friends.”
“Wait… you refused to move to find the remote, but got up for a blanket and ice cream?!” Luz exclaimed.
“It’s about the principle of the matter,” he waved off.
“Crazy old men,” Anne rolled her eyes.
Dipper asks Mabel for advice, but she’s way too out of it.
Mabel: The future! ...is in the past! Onwards, Aoshima!
“Come here, Kid,” Eda pulled Mabel into her lap. “Rock. Rock. Maternal gesture.”
“This might be worse than what we went through, Anne,” Hopediah frowned.
“Yep,” she nodded.
Dipper: Mabel! How many of these did you eat?!
Mabel: Bleven… teen…
“We should have taken her to the hospital!” Thompson cried.
“…Yeah… We should have,” Wendy stared at the screen.
“I’m only gonna say this once, if you teenagers wanna hang out with my niece and nephew again, you’re gonna have to be a lot more responsible. Got it,” Stan glared at them. The teens hastily nodded, satisfying the man.
While Dipper is freaking out, Robbie finds the chalk outlines of the people who died there. He dares them to lie down in it.
“Have you lost your mind?!” the Witches all screamed.
“Of all the dimwitted ideas, that is literally the worst one!” Eda exclaimed. “The worst part is I know you already did it.”
Dipper tries to get them not to because the place might really be haunted, earning boos from the others. Robbie calls him Captain Buzzkill, and even Wendy agrees.
Candace and Mabel patted him on the back, which he greatly appreciated.
“I’m sorry again, Dipper. I should have stood by you there,” Wendy apologized.
“Yeah, and we should have taken your warning more seriously,” Nate agreed, the others nodding with him.
“Thanks, guys,” Pine Tree smiled.
Tambry: ( Texting: ) Status update: trapped in store with insane 9-year old.
Dipper: I'm not a 9-year-old! ( lies down in tape markings ) I'm 13! Technically a teen!
“And there it is,” Vanessa said.
“We all saw this coming, but it still hurts to watch,” Willow groaned.
“Any final takers for who the ghost’s first victim is?” Polly asked.
“How about we change it up a bit?” Doofenshmirtz started. “Instead of winner-take-all, let’s have the person in last owe money to the others?”
“Works for me,” Stan agreed.
“One against all. Alright,” Eda grinned.
Tambry is the first victim as she is sucked into a tv.
The audience screamed again.
“You know what? What are we even screaming about? These guys are right here and perfectly fine,” Anne reasoned.
“That is true,” Phineas admitted.
“Fair enough,” Gus shrugged.
“Still though, heck of a punishment. What was that like?” King asked.
“Like I was trapped in another room and could see through the screen,” Tambry answered.
The teens don’t know what to do, so Robbie suggests they bail.
“Honestly, that’s their best option,” Stan said.
“What about her?” Candace questioned incredulously.
“Those kids needed to focus on saving themselves first. Once they’re safe, they can figure out how to help.”
“He’s right, Kid,” Eda agreed. “Besides, if it were your family, you’d want them outta there too, right?”
“…I guess I would,” the redhead relented with a sigh.
“Anyway, looks like someone definitely owes me money!” Eda cheered.
Thompson is too committed to the game, so he gets sucked into it and arrows rain down on him.
“Dude! It’s just a game!” Vanessa criticized.
“Heck yeah! I won money too!” Polly beamed.
Wendy tries to open the door but finds it locked. Robbie throws the cash register at it, but it dissolves and green light flies at Robbie.
“Where’d he go?” Doof asked.
“He hid,” the teens answered.
“Wait, so he’s fine?”
“Yes.”
The scientist suddenly grew nervous.
Dipper suggests they find the reason for the haunting so the ghost will let them go.
Lee: Yeah right, I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings.
He’s now on the cover of a serial box.
Cereal Box Toucan: I'm bonkers for eating you alive!
A stabbing sound is heard as Lee screams.
“Yes! I won a bet!” Stan cheered, earning an annoyed look from Lee. “What? You’re not my kid. Why should I care when you’re perfectly fine.”
“How are you alive?” Sprig questioned.
“I don’t know, man. I don’t know,” Lee shivered.
“Wait, Robbie wasn’t punished, so that means…” Heinz trailed off as his face fell. “Oh dear.”
Polly, Stan and Eda grinned at him.
“Ha! Looks like because of your own suggestion, you owe each of us money!” the Owl Lady laughed.
Heinz just grumbled at the trio’s laughter and pulled the cash out of his wallet.
Nate is now with him, but it might be too late. A Possessed Mabel flies over the counter.
Possessed Mabel: Welcome.
The others scream.
Everyone gasped as they saw Mabel being possessed. Dipper, Marcy and Hunter flinched at the sight. But none had a bigger reaction than the Pines girl herself.
“THEY POSSESSED ME?!” she shrieked.
“You didn’t know?” her brother asked in surprise.
“No! I was still hallucinating! Oh my gosh.”
The Pines girl began to rock in her seat and hold herself.
“Pumpkin?” Stan prodded carefully.
“…They possessed me…” she spoke quietly, her gaze far and distant.
“That’s it! Those ghosts are going to die twice!” Stan swore, making a fist.
“Count me in,” Eda glared at the screen. “When I get my hands on them…” she trailed off as she noticed Mabel’s breathing was starting to accelerate. “Kid?”
“Oh dear,” the hist said and turned off the screen for a moment. “ She needs comfort. Now.”
Dipper wasted no time in pulling his sister into a hug. Stan, Soos and Wendy quickly followed. Eda stroked the girl's head gently. Then she picked up King and plopped him on her lap, allowing her to hug him like yesterday. Perry then decided to walk over and curl up in her lap.
Eventually her breathing calmed down and she let out a slow exhale.
“Thanks, guys,” she said a little tearfully.
“Are you okay?” Dipper asked. She responded by hugging him
“I had no idea what it was like.” Then she leaned close to whisper. “Is this what it was like for you.”
Dipper winced before nodding.
“Yeah. This is what it was like.”
The twins help each other tightly, pouring everything they had into comforting each other.
The host’s veiled form appeared in a swirl of black and he carefully walked over to them. Taking a knee, they put a hand on Mabel’s shoulder.
“We can take a break if you’d like. We don’t have to continue right now”
Mabel thought about it before shaking her head.
“No, I… I want to continue.”
The host appeared to smile at her before standing up
“Very well.”
And with that, they disappeared and turned the screen back on.
The teens apologize for hanging out in their store. Dipper asks if they can leave forever, to which the ghost says yes.
“Really, just like that?” Isabella quirked a brow.
“That was easy,” King smirked.
The ghost offers them hotdogs at a good price, but the teens try to flee, onkly for the door to shut on them.
Possessed Mabel: Just kidding about the hot dog sale!
“Nevermind,” the Titan said flatly.
Nate demands they be let out, so he gets turned into a hotdog.
“That’s a new one,” Doof said.
“Ooh! That hotdog looks delicious!” Hooty mentioned, licking his beak. That got everyone to stare at the owl tube in horror.
“Don’t look at him! He can smell your fear,” Eda warned.
“Hoot! I have a question,” he said, getting close to Nate’s face. “You were a hotdog. So, if you were starving, would you have eaten yourself?”
“I… what?”
“It’s a simple question. Would you have eaten yourself?”
“…Why would I do that?”
“It would be a wise choice, my friend. Hoot!”
Possessed Mabel: It begins. (Makes everything float to the ceiling) Welcome to your home for all eternity!
The audience exchanged nervous looks.
Dipper and Wendy manage to hide inside a tipped over cabinet. The pair begin to speculate on what the ghost wants, concluding on revenge, but why?
Dipper: Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!
Wendy: Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things.
Everyone in the theater blinked and gained flat looks.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Really?” Luz questioned.
“Are you seriously telling me that it’s just old people hating on the next generation,” Vanessa spoke incredulously.
“Son of a sea slug,” Anne glared at the screen
Dipper realizes what he has to do and run out to confront the ghost. Upon getting it’s attention, the Possessed Mabel twists her head, then followed by the rest of her body.
“THAT’S WHY MY NECK HURT?!” Mabel screamed.
“That’s it! Phineas, Ferb, start working on some cool tech! We’re pulling a Ghost Busters later,” Candace glared.
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Dipper nodded with an angry look.
“Me too. I want some revenge,” Mabel said.
“It is underrated,” her brother smiled.
Dipper confesses that he's not a teenager, so the ghosts stop possessing Mabel, dropping her on the ground, and reveal themselves to be Ma and Pa.
“Yeah, I definitely want revenge,” Mabel glared.
Pa: How old did you say you were?
Dipper: I'm... I'm twelve. Technically not a teen.
“She was bound to find out eventually,” Ferb patted him on the back.
“I know,” Dipper sighed.
The ghosts explain that teenagers were a scourge on their store. When they banned them, they retaliated with rap music. The lyrics were so “hateful” that they gave them double heart attacks.
Ma: That's why we hate teenagers so much. Don't we, honey?
“BOOOOOOO!” all the teens in the audience went.
“To heck with those two!” Vanessa scoffed.
“You’re the hateful ones, you judgemental freaks!” Anne continued to boo.
“Well, they won;t be our problem anymore after tonight,” Candace grinned.
“They should’ve stayed dead,” Mabel agreed, and the two high fived.
“Oh man! I can’t wait to see Dipper beat up the ghosts!” Lee cheered.
“Heck yeah! This is when it happened, right Kid?” Nate asked.
Dipper just sighed and looked away, making the two look at him in confusion.
Dipper: But they're my friends, isn't there anything I can do to help them?
Pa: There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances?
“Noooooooo,” half the audience went. Everyone turned to the boy to see him hiding his face in his hat.
Welp, there goes all my friends.
Dipper: Um... Well, I do know... the Lamby Lamby Dance. But, uh, but I can't really do it without a lamb costume. (Pa snaps his fingers, putting a lamb costume on Dipper.) Oh, well... there it is.
He took a breath and proceeded to do the entire Lamby Dance.
Everyone’s jaws dropped as they watched the humiliating scene unfold. Poor Dipper could only cringe.
Back in the Mystery Shack, Pacifica let out a giggle at the sight.
He’s really adorable like that, the heiress thought.
Then she perked up, realizing what she just mentally said, and slapped herself in the face.
“No! Don’t think that!” she ordered herself.
This got Candy and Grenda to exchange confused looks.
Pa: That was some fine, girly dancin' boy! Your friends are free.
The only sound that could be heard was Dipper sighing in acceptance.
Everyone is now back to normal.
Mabel: Ugghhh... I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again.
Dipper: Hey. (Picks up a package of Smile Dip) There's still some left.
Mabel: (Slaps it out of his hand) EVIL!
“I’m never touching that junk ever again,” the Pine girl said as she hugged the two pets.
Candace, Anne and Luz patted her on the back.
The others ask Wendy what happened. She’s about to reveal the truth, but seeing Dipper’s distress, she lies that he beat the ghosts down with a bat. Dipper and Wendy mime the zipped lips.
“You’re a good friend, Wendy,” Dipper smiled before sighing in defeat again. Here it comes, he thought as the others looked at him.
“You might be the bravest kid I’ve ever met,” Nate said.
“Huh,” Dipper blinked in surprise.
“Dude, what you did there took guts.”
“More than any of us have,” Lee added.
“It took a lot to swallow your pride like that,” Jeremy praised.
“Honestly, I don’t think we’d be alive if you hadn’t done that. So, thanks,” Thompson said.
“That’s my brother for you,” Mabel beamed in pride.
If you think he was brave back there, raise your hand,” Candace said, raising her hand. All the other kids and teens did too.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” Dipper smiled.
“Well, I’m glad you all think that about my nephew. Even I'm proud of him,” Stan nodded. Then he grinned. “That being said, I have an obligation as an uncle to mock him for it when this episode is over.”
Dipper just sighed.
Wendy: Well, I'm probably scarred for life.
Dipper: Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
Wendy: I think I'm gonna go stare at a wall for a while and rethink everything. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?
Dipper: Next time? Yeah! Let's–let's hang out at the Shack! Yeah... Next time...
“Next time,” Candace smirked at him.
“Sh-Shut up!” he shoved her, making both of them laugh.
Mabel reads her own graffiti.
Mabel: What kind of sick joke is this?
“Oh wow. I guess I blew my own mind,” the girl blinked.
Stan happily watches the wedding scene of The Duchess Approves. But then Count Lionel shows up, making him angry. Outside, Dipper and Mabel are walking to the door. The tv then flies out the window and falls down near them.
Stan: Uh… Couldn’t find the remote.
RQZDUGV DRVKLPD!
The audience burst into laughter at that as Dipper wrote the code down.
“Welp, the episode’s over. Time for some family ripping,” Stan rubbed his hands together and marched over to Dipper.
That was when Mabel jumped in the way.
“Hey, Grunkle Stan, you seemed to really love that movie. Do you mind telling me all about it in great embarrassing detail?” she looked up at him innocently. He just silently stared down at her. Then he grunted and sat back down. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Thanks, Mabel,” Dipper smiled in gratitude. “Well, two more to go. What’s this next one called?”
“Dipper vs Manliness.”
“Manliness? What’s that about?” Isabella questioned.
Dipper’s eyes widened and frantically looked up at the ceiling, pleading with the host.
“No! No! Please, no! Let’s skip this one! Please!”
“This won’t be as bad as you think, Dipper.”
“Is this one of those things where you try to be a stereotypical man?” Anne questioned.
Dipper nodded regretfully.
“Yeesh!” Vanessa went.
Dipper vs Manliness
Tyler Cutebiker comes in, wanting to do some Christmas shopping early.
“Um… is he trying to be really early, or does he actually think it’s Christmas?” Anne asked.
“I… don’t know,” was all Dipper could say. He and Mabel exchanged a look.
“Blind Eye?” she whispered.
“Probably. They did give the town brain damage.”
Mabel: Can we go to the diner? We're huuungry.
Dipper: Huuuuungry.
Dipper and Mabel hit their stomachs against each other three times.
The audience laughed and awed.
“You both are just so darn cute!” Luz gushed.
Seeing Tyler is taking too long to pick a shirt, they lock him inside and head for the diner.
“Dude! You just locked him in there?!” Anne exclaimed
“Ha! Kid, he was still picking shirts when we got back. He didn’t leave until I suggested he buy both of them.”
They arrive at Greasy’s Diner where a bunch of townsfolk are already having breakfast.
“Well, this looks kinda homey. Despite the possums anyway,” Luz said.
“They’re real?” Eda blinked.
“Told ya,” Noceda smirked.
“I wonder what that speedometer would say if it were recording the speed of our builds, Ferb,” Phineas said.
Stan: Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?
Lazy Susan: I got hit by a bus!
Stan: Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious!
“Would this be a bad time to tell you that she actually got hit by a bus?” Thompson asked.
“WHAT?! I thought she was joking!” Stan exclaimed.
“Ooh! That had to have hurt,” Gretchen winced.
Stan orders them next to nothing. Mabel wants pancakes.
Stan: With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?
Some money slips out of his sleeve, so he taps it back in.
“Busted,” Candace and Vanessa said.
“♪ Busted! ♪”
“Pines!” Eda yelled angrily.
“What?”
“Dude! Feed your kids!” Anne glared at him.
“At least Clawthorne and I had the excuse of not knowing how to feed a human. You’re just being cheep,” Hop Pop crossed his arms.
Stan just grumbled. He gave his kids enough food! …Usually.
Dipper sees a Manliness Tester and offers to win them pancakes. His family just laughs, to his confusion.
Mabel: Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly "Manly Mannington." Ha ha ha!
Stan and Mabel frowned at the screen.
“They’re not… wrong,” Heinz admitted.
“I mean… he’s only twelve,” Jeremy reasoned. “Still a boy, you know?”
Stan: Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... "incident."
Flashes back to Dipper in the bathroom wearing a towel and singing at the mirror with a comb as the microphone
Dipper: Disco girl… coming through… that girl is you… (Stan walks into the bathroom.) DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!
Back to the present.
Mabel: You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation "BABBA"?
All the ladies averted their eyes from the screen and groaned.
“EW! I don’t wanna see you in a towel!” Anne complained.
“I didn’t think anyone would see this!” the boy exclaimed, blushing in mortification. This did not bode well for later.
Candace was one of the first to recover and started laughing.
“Wait–Wait. You saw him singing this too?” she cackled.
“You mean you did? When?” Stan grinned.
“Llama and I walked in on it this morning.”
“Ha ha ha ha! Did he try to say it was a ghost too?”
She nodded, making him laugh even more.
“Well, I’m thoroughly humiliated,” Dipper sighed in defeat.
“By the towel or singing?” Eda snickered.
“Both.”
“Well, the towel, you should be embarrassed about. The singing, not so much,” Luz said.
“Yeah, Disco Girl is an objectively good song,” Jeremy shrugged. “There’s nothing non-masculine about liking it.”
“Thank you!” Dipper said.
Dipper claims he’s plenty masculine and shows his chest hair. There’s none and it shines so brightly in the light that it blinds them.
Dipper: Aw man.
“Welp, that’s an image I hope I can forget soon,” King stated flatly.
“Agreed,” Polly spoke in the same tone.
“Just so you know, Kid, there are plenty of men that don’t have chest hair,” Nate said.
Dipper marches over to the Manliness Tester with the whole restaurant watching.
Dipper: Time to manhandle this...man handle...
“Phrasing!” Soos cheered.
“Ten Snails says he fails,” Eda whispered to Luz.
“Eda!” she chastised. “…Five.”
After Stan tells him to quit stalling, Dipper holds it for as long as he can until it lands on “Wimp.”
Luz sighed as she handed Eda her winnings.
“Dude, you probably just needed to hold onto it longer,” Lee said.
“Those things are bogus anyway,” Stacy waved her hand.
“Yeah, my brother’s not a wimp,” Mabel added.
“Thanks guys,” Dipper smiled.
Manly Dan does it with his pinky and lands on “Manly Man.” Everyone gets pancakes. Mabel and Stan laugh at Dipper, so he runs off, determined to get some chest hair.
Stan: Yeesh! How am I related to that?
“We’re sorry, Dipper,” Mabel bowed her head in shame.
“We are?” Stan asked.
Mabel elbowed him in the ribs. Hard.
“Agh! Alright, fine! Yes. I’m sorry. I’m just not good at showing emotions,” he admitted.
“I appreciate that, guys,” Dipper said.
Mabel: Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too.
Stan: Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul.
“Thanks for defending me there, Mabel,” her brother said.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Welp, he’s lying,” Jeremy commented. “All guys have a soft spot for something.” Then he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. “Or someone.”
“Dang, that was smooth,” Anne praised as Candace sighed dreamily.
Lazy Susan brings their food and Stan starts fumbling his words. This leads Mabel to realize that he has a crush on her.
“How about that,” Vanessa said.
“Guess awkward crushes run in the family,” Stacy teased.
“Ah, nothing like finding love again to fix one’s life,” Hop Pop sighed happily, thinking about his beloved Silvia.
Stan admits it, but is nervous for being out of the game for so long.
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of-
Stan: Love?
Mabel: Mabel!
That got a few laughs from the audience.
“That’s a bold claim,” Willow said.
“Well, she does have determination that rivals my own,” Candace reasoned.
Blubs and Durland run around a busted fire hydrant with their shirts off.
“I know they're incompetent and weren’t helpful during ‘Headhunters’ but I can’t help but like them,” Luz admitted.
“They grow on you,” Dipper shrugged.
Dipper backs into a Scout Lady who says she was looking for the mailman.
Dipper: Oh what? Are you saying I'm not a "male man?" Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not a man? Is that-is that what you're getting at?
Scout Lady: Are you crying?
He runs off crying into the woods.
The audience winced at the scene, making Dipper cover his face in embarrassment. But then to his surprise, Mabel hugged him.
“I’m sorry, Dipper. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she spoke with guilt.
He returned the embrace and pulled back a few moments later.
“Hey, I know you were teasing me. You weren’t trying to hurt me. I’ve gotten that enough times to know the difference.”
That earned a few concerned looks from the others and another hug from Mabel.
Doof sighed and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“I get what you’re going through. Nobody thought I was manly in Drusselstein either. I failed a test too.”
“What was it?”
“Jumping off a diving board. I… couldn’t do it. So, my parents shunned me and covered their faces whenever we went out.”
“That’s horrible!” Polly cried.
“The thing that really bothers me is I still can’t do it. I’m just afraid of heights.”
“Well, that is a valid fear. Some falls can result in major injuries or instant-”
”Wait, Dad, we live on the top floor of the tallest building in town. And you can’t handle a diving board?” his daughter questioned.
“That’s semantics, Pumpkin,” he waved off. “Besides, standing from a tall height is very different from jumping off one.”
“Fair point,” she conceded.
Dipper is bench-pressing a small branch. He doesn’t get very far. Even the jerky thinks he’s pathetic.
“This–This is pretty sad,” Anne whispered.
“Agreed,” Polly responded.
“Okay, I’m taking you to a real gym,” Stan said. “You’re old enough now, so with a few regular trips you should be getting some muscle on those noodle arms in no time,” Stan promised.
“You think so?” Dipper asked hopefully.
“It worked on me when I was your age,” he smiled.
“Is this… is this something we’ll have to deal with in a few months?” Phineas asked his older sister.
“Oh. Huh. I never thought about that,” she admitted, not knowing what to say. “I’m actually not what to do right now as a big sister. Maybe we should just watch Dipper?”
As he’s eating jerky, The ground begins to shake very hard and a large roar is heard. Various animals begin flying or running in the opposite direction of the noise.
Manly Dan: For the love of all that's holy, run!
“Dad?” Wendy blinked. “What made my dad of all people run like that?”
“Whatever it is is heading towards Dipper!” Mabel cried.
“Run!” many screamed.
As it approaches, Dipper screams in a high pitch. Then he switches to a lower one.
That got a few snorts from the audience.
Chutzpaur is finally seen. He yawns and scratches himself with a deer.
“Woah! A Minotaur! Like in Greek Mythology!” Phineas beamed.
“He doesn’t look like a bad guy,” Anne noted.
Dipper: Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week!
“Dude!” half the audience cried as everyone close to him immediately scooted away.
“That–That was months ago! I’ve bathed since them,” he defended.
“Were any of those times recently?” Luz raised an eyebrow.
“Uh…”
“No,” Wendy and Mabel answered flatly.
“How bad is it?” Anne asked.
“You don’t wanna know,” Mabel shivered.
Candace wasn’t paying attention and took a sniff of the air around Dipper. She instantly regretted it and clutched the spot where her heart was, letting out a shrill wheeze as she collapsed to the floor.
“Candace!” her friends and family cried, coming to help her.
Perry ran over with AED pads and charged them up.
Candace then abruptly sat up with a large gasp, gulping in clear air.
“I’m okay… I’m okay.” She turned to the Pines boy in disbelief. “Do you even wash your clothes?”
“Washing clothes is a waste of time! I’m a busy guy!”
Everyone just blinked at him like he was crazy.
“You leave me no choice,” his sister sighed. Then she pulled out her phone.
Candy, Grenada, I need you to do me a favor…
Apparently, the beast is only there for the jerky. And he’s a “manotaur” not a “minotaur.” Then he breaks a rock on his head.
“Okay…” was all Anne said.
Chutzpaur: I swell… emotional issues.
Dipper: I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems.
Chutzpaur sits down and listens.
“Aw, that’s nice of him,” Mabel smiled.
“Okay, so he’s a good guy,” Luz nodded.
“Let’s just see how this plays out,” Willow said.
Dipper: Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?
Chutzpaur: Very well. Climb atop my back hair, child!
“Ew!” the audience cringed.
“Welp, that’s an image I hope I can forget soon,” Jeremy sighed.
“Meh. It’s just body hair,” Stan shrugged.
After running through the forest, jumping over a gorge, and crashing through a mountain, they arrive at a cave full of Manotaurs.
“Okay, that was definitely dangerous!” Candace said.
“Kid, are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” Stan clutched his chest.
“Dipper, are you okay?!” Mabel asked in concern.
“I was fine,” he placated.
“Well, from now on, I’m not letting you go outside without supervision,” Stan swore.
“I can help keep an eye on him if you like?” the Candace offered.
“Thank you!”
“I’m not sure I like you two being on the same side,” Dipper admitted.
“It’s impressive how strong that guy is though,” King mentioned.
Perry nodded in agreement. Would they make good agents?
Chutzpaur: The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water, 'Cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE!
“Hey! Merpeople are the most amazing group I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing!” Mabel defended. She and Mermando may not have been together anymore, but dang it if she didn’t still care about him.
Chutzpaur: BEASTS! I have brought you, a hairless child!
“Well, that sounds horribly wrong out of context,” Willow commented.
Dipper introduces himself as Dipper the Destructor!
“Destructor, huh?” Candace smirked.
“Shut up!” Dipper elbowed her.
Dipper asks for their help in becoming a man. They huddle together to discuss it but end up fighting.
Dipper: I like these guys.
“Mmm. Polly likey,” the pollywog eyed the Manotaurs appreciatively.
“Weh? You do?” King asked.
“Yeah. Just look at those muscles! Awesome.”
The little Titan looked down at his frame and poked his belly to find next to no muscles there.
“I think I feel inadequate right now. But why?” Then he looked back up at the screen. “Then again, their strength is pretty cool.”
Perry just gave the screen a flat look. If these guys were this aggressive all the time, then there was no way they’d be good enough agents. Sometimes subtlety helped.
“I… don’t know how to feel about these guys,” Phineas said.
“Yeah… I don’t think they’re the best example,” Candace agreed. Then she glanced at Dipper worriedly.
“Well, I like ‘em! Maybe they could help me too!” Doof grinned.
Mabel: Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life!
Everyone burst into laughter at that comment.
“Kid, you are a natural!” Eda praised while she cackled.
“Thanks, Graunty Eda!” she beamed.
She then takes a before picture of Stan, saying she never misses a scrapbookertunity.
“Aw, that’s really cute! Do you do that for everything?” Luz asked.
“Yep!” she chirped. “Here, take a look!”
Mabel proceeded to hand Noceda her scrapbook and the older girl flipped through the pages, her eyes looking through her photos in wonder.
“Mabel, these pictures are really good,” she praised.
“Thanks! I learned how from our mom. She loves to take photos of big moments too,” the Pines girl smiled fondly.
“Have you thought about becoming a photographer?” Isabella inquired. “With enough practice and better equipment, you could be even better.”
“Hmm… I never thought about that,” she responded.
“We could make you the perfect camera,” Ferb offered.
“You know what? Yeah! Yeah, let’s do it!” Mabel beamed, making her family smile at her in pride.
They run a simulated approach of a woman with Soos as Lazy Susan. As for how it goes…
Stan: Can I borrow some money?
Many in the group slapped their foreheads in frustration.
“You do realize that you’re trying to get her to like you, right?” Anne deadpanned.
“You gotta try harder than that, Pines,” Hop Pop shook his head.
“Give me a break, alright?! This was my first time trying to approach a woman since Marylin ran out on me. I wasn’t exactly practicing in those nine years. Nor motivated really,” he pouted at the end.
Mabel and Soos hugged him in comfort while Dipper and Wendy frowned in sympathy. Their eyes flickered over to Eda who had a frown of her own. The others meanwhile shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
Back in the Man Cave, the Manotaurs have decided to deny Dipper his request.
Dipper: Denied? Ok, fine. That's ok with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try.
“Oh ho ho! I see what you’re doing there, man,” Lee grinned.
“Very clever,” Baljeet nodded.
Testosteraur: I have three Y chromosomes, six adam's apples, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!
“Well, that's terrifying,” Jeremy said.
“Yeah, I would listen to Chutzpaur there, Kid,” Nate said warily. “It doesn’t look like you wanna get on his bad side.”
“No, I mean the stuff about his body. That can’t be healthy.”
“Oh… Yeah, that makes sense.”
“I’m pretty sure having three Y chromosomes also makes him infertile,” Thompson mentioned.
“Gross,” Tambry pulled a face.
Dipper: Seems to me you're scared to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like... Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird-Bocock, bocAW! Is that?-BACAWK! That sounds like-BACAW! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!
The audience laughed at Dipper’s jab.
“HEYOH~! That’s my brother!” Mabel cheered in pride.
“Thanks, sis.”
Testosteraur: After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!
Everyone laughed even harder.
“Way to go, Dip!” Stan slapped him on the back in pride.
“Oh, that was beautiful,” Candace whipped away a tear.
“Ha! Men! They’re so predictable,” Eda laughed.
Back at the Owl House, Lilith let out a big laugh before correcting her glasses.
“I like him. He has a lot of potential.”
Chutzpaur: Being a man is about conquering your fears.
Testosteraur: For your first man task, you must plunge your fist-INTO THE PAIN HOLE!
“Um… you didn’t actually stick your hand in there, did you?” Holly asked.
“Dipper was silent.
“Dude! What were you thinking?!” Gus exclaimed.
“I wanted to pass!” he defended.
Dipper puts his hand in the PAIN HOLE and screams.
“What was even in there?” King asked.
“Ants! Lots of ants!” Dipper winced.
“These guys are hardcore. I love it!” Polly cheered.
Mabel tries to get Stan to smile. Soos runs away in terror.
The audience just groaned in discomfort.
Mabel: This is going to take some really great training music.
A montage then plays of Dipper accomplishing tasks and Mabel training Stan.
“Woo! Way to go, Dipper!” Candace cheered.
“That’s my boy/bro!” Stan and Mabel shouted at the same time. “Pines! Pines! Pines!”
“Ew! Mabel, why are you shaving your Uncle?!” Tambry questioned in disgust.
“It had to be done,” she shivered.
“How the heck did it grow back that fast?” Eda wondered.
“Heck if I know,” Stan shrugged.
“That shouldn’t have been scientifically possible!” Baljeet exclaimed. “Not to mention how Dipper managed to pull the wagon full of Manotaurs.”
“Yeah, that… okay, I don’t have an explanation for how I did that,” the boy admitted.
“Is it possible… that you guys have something like Phineas and Ferb going on?” Luz hypothesized.
The Pines family blinked before looking at each other questioningly.
“No… no, there couldn’t be…” Dipper trailed off.
“Unless… there is?” Mabel wondered.
“I think we might want to watch you all more closely,” Eda said.
Dipper and the Manotaurs are resting in a hot spring.
I was wearing my pants!” Dipper immediately shouted.
“That’s a relief,” Vanessa spoke idly.
“I didn’t know there were hot springs in town. We have to go some time!” Nate said, to which Lee nodded in agreement.
Dipper has one final task left. The deadliest one of all.
Dipper: I've survived forty-nine other trials. Whatever it is, bring it on!
“Forty-nine?” Isabella blinked, the rest of the Danville group giving him the same look of astonishment.
“Yeah. Forty-nine dangerous trials completed in one day,” he grinned and puffed his chest in pride.
“I don’t believe it,” Candace said as she stared at him.
Where do the similarities end?!
Lilith eyed the boy in intrigue.
Dipper is now wearing fake tattoos and a loincloth.
“UGH~!” the audience cried out in disgust.
“Dipper! Put some clothes on!” his sister chided.
“I didn’t think anyone was gonna see this!” the boy blushed brightly.
“How long are we gonna be subjected to this… yuck,” Candace asked.
“Most of what’s left of the episode.”
The audience groaned in response.
Back in the Shack, Pacifica looked away from the screen, hoping that the others wouldn’t see her blush. Unfortunately, she didn’t notice Candy and Grenda exchange a curious look.
Chutzpaur: Behold our leader, Leaderaur!
An old Manotaur walks forward.
“So, is he the oldest?” Luz asked.
“The wisest?” Baljeet added.
“About that…” Dipper trailed off.
Leaderaur’s mouth comes down and he eats him.
Chutzpaur: Naw, he’s just the offering. That’s Leaderaur.
Everyone’s mouths fell open in horror.
“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!” they screamed.
“He just ate him?!” Luz yelled.
“He was a nice old guy!” Mabel cried.
“Eh. Circle of life,” the Plantars all shrugged.
“He’s huge,” Heinz gulped.
“And Dipper’s in the same room with him,” Stan paled, the rest of them quickly following suit.
Leaderaur pulls a spear out of his chest and tosses it to Dipper, instructing him to return with the head of… the Multibear.
“Multibear?” Anne asked.
“It’ll make sense later.”
“Did… did he just pull that out of his chest?” Baljeet questioned.
Dipper isn’t sure about this. Then Chutzpaur finds his copy of BABBA and he immediately changes his mind.
No one liked what they were seeing.
“This feels like peer pressure,” Luz frowned.
“That’s because it is peer pressure,” Willow glared at the screen.
Dipper just sighed.
Dipper expertly treks through the forest and climbs up the mountain towards the Multibear’s cave.
The audience stared at on-screen Dipper, impressed.
“For someone with so-called ‘noodle arms’ he’s as tough as any toad,” Grime praised.
“Yeah. He is,” Sasha eyed the boy.
Time to look at the results for Stan… Yikes.
Stan: Can I scratch myself sow?
Mabel: No! No, no, no! Is that throw up on your shirt?
Stan: I don't know how to answer that.
“Yike, my dude,” Luz winced.
“Ew! Just ew!” Tambry went.
“Okay, this is a lost cause,” Jeremy sighed.
“Agreed,” Polly said.
“There’s still a chance. Even if it is slim,” Hop Pop argued.
“And put on some pants!” Tambry spat.
“Well, excuse me for being in the privacy of my own home!” he barked.
Wendy says that Stan is unfixable, like the pie trolley at Greasy’s.
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, come with me! (Runs to the door) And leave your pants at home!
Stan: With Pleasure!
“What was that about the privacy of your own home, old man?” Tambry judged.
Stan just grunted.
Dipper: What is a Multi-bear?
The Multi-bear emerges and he’s covered in bear heads.
Dipper: Oh, that's a multi-bear.
The audience just stared at the beast.
“Demon Realm?” Heinz asked King.
“Maybe not this time. This might actually be a Human Realm thing,” the little guy said.
“That doesn’t look like any Demon found in the 3 B’s. Hoot!” Hooty mentioned.
Multi-bear tries to get Dipper to leave, but he refuses. So, they begin to fight.
Lilith leaned forward in her seat.
Let’s see what he does.
He runs up the wall to get behind the beast.
Everyone’s eyes widened.
“How the… how the heck did you run up a wall?!” Stacy exclaimed.
“Gravity Falls weirdness?” he offered, not sure himself.
“Or maybe it’s your own weirdness?” Luz wondered.
“Whatever the reason, look at him go!” Stan beamed in pride.
“Yeah! Go Dipper!” Mabel cheered.
Multi-bear swats some bones at him and the boy dodges as they hit the wall.
Every eye was on the screen. Even Tambry was watching.
Dipper then climbs atop the beast’s back and strangles him with the spear, besting him.
Everybody gaped at the sight. That soon led to applause from all around.
“Way to go, Bro Bro!” Mabel cheered.
“Holy cow!” the Falls teens went.
“Did you just take down a bear and win?!” Anne exclaimed.
“It’s extra heads were probably slowing him down,” he tried to play it off.
“That was still amazing, dude,” Candace praised.
“That’s my nephew!” Stan cheered.
In the Shack, Pacifica did not run up to the bathroom and splash water on her face. And she certainly did not slap herself either. And the others totally did not see it all happen.
Sasha nodded at the screen, impressed by what she saw.
“I think I might want to teach him a few things,” the blonde said. “He has a lot of potential.”
“I think that’s a good idea, Lieutenant.”
In the Owl House, Lilith kept her eyes locked on the screen. She hid it well, but the Clawthorne was absolutely giddy.
This boy is clever! I need to keep watching. See what he does next.
The Multi-bear wishes to die listening to his favorite song. So, Dipper plays the tape and discovers that it’s Disco Girl!
Dipper: You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA? I-I love BABBA.
Multi-bear: I thought I was the only one. All the manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song "Disco Girl."
The two then start singing the song together.
“He’s a nice guy,” Heinz blinked.
“And they were gonna make you kill him?” Willow frowned.
“Don’t do it. This is wrong,” Sprig said.
Dipper raises the spear…
“Dipper, no!” half of everyone cried.
…and plunges it in the ground at Leaderaur’s feet.
Dipper: I’m not gonna do it.
The audience sighed in relief.
“He did the right thing,” Phineas exhaled.
Dipper: You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being aggro all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey.
The manotaurs gasp.
Everyone grinned at the screen, liking every word they were hearing. Phineas especially was watching with full attention.
Dipper: You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don't have muscles, or hair in certain places, and.. sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! 'Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!
“Exactly. Exactly!” Jeremy agreed, others nodding with him.
Dipper says that Multi-bear is a nice guy, and it’s wrong to kill him.
Leaderaur: (roaring in his face) Kill the multi-bear or never be a man!
He doesn’t even flinch.
Dipper: Then I guess I’ll never be a man.
“Holy crud, Kid… that was the most badass thing I’ve ever heard!” Lee praised.
“You’re really cool, Dipper,” Phineas added.
“I’m proud to call you my brother!” Mabel cried tears of joy as she hugged him.
“You stood your ground and didn’t even flinch,” Stan whipped away a tear.
Dipper blinked. Then he smiled gratefully.
“Thanks guys.”
Lilith was truly amazed with this boy. Nay, she was impressed. He was clever, strong, brave, and chose to do the right thing.
He’s the future, she thought. Then she clapped her hands once and took a determined pose. That’s all I needed to see. When I get the chance, I’m taking him under my wing. Edalyn did, so why can’t I.
The manotaurs boo him as he leaves.
The audience booed the manotaurs.
“Boo! You guys are jerks!” Pacifica glared. “That boy is more manly than any of you!”
Candy and Grenda blinked at her and shared a glance.
“You don’t think…” Candy trailed off.
Mabel and Stan arrive at Greasy's Diner.
Mabel: Lazy Susan. Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan!
“Aw. That’s actually kinda sweet,” Isabella smiled.
“Huh. Not a bad direction to go,” Eda noted.
“The ball’s in her court now,” Hop Pop said. “Let’s see what happens.”
Mabel: Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards.
Most of the audience let out loud guffaws at that. The only ones not laughing were Wendy and Tambry. The goth was even pouting.
“She’s not wrong,” Wendy shrugged.
Tambry just continued to pout.
“Kid, you just might be the funniest person I’ve ever met,” Eda laughed.
“Thank you, Graunty Eda!”
She seems to walk away at first… only to give him her number and a slice of pie.
“Well, how about that,” Vanessa said.
“Not bad, Pines. Not bad,” Hop Pop smiled.
“So, are we gonna meet your girlfriend?” Eda asked.
“Wait, I thought you said you were single last night?” Heinz questioned.
“Uh…” Stan trailed off.
Dipper sits down with them and she questions what’s wrong. He explains the situation with the manotaurs and how he’ll never be a man.
Stan: You were your own man and you stood up for yourself.
Dipper: Huh?
Stan: Well, you did what was right even though no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?
“Yeah,” Phineas smiled. “I like that.”
Ferb nodded in agreement.
“Well, what do you know? You actually are capable of giving good advice,” Eda commented.
“I know. I… Hey! Wait a minute!” Stan shouted, realizing what she was implying.
Then he sighed and turned to his nephew.
“Listen, Kid. What you did there took a lot of guts. More than I had when I first became a criminal. I’ve done some things that I’m ashamed of. But you were strong and brave enough to do the right thing. What–What I’m trying to say is… I’m proud of you. I’m proud to even be related to you.”
“I’m proud of you too, Dipper,” Mabel beamed. “You were so cool and brave back there, standing up to that big bully.”
“Thanks guys,” he smiled at the pair and embraced them. They returned it and there were a few aw’s at the sight.
“While we’re on the subject of that bully, I think I know what to cook for dinner tonight,” Stan casually mentioned.
“You know what? You’re right!” Heinz stood up. “So what if I can’t jump off a diving board? I don’t need that to prove that I’m manly. I am Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz! And I am my own man!”
“Good for you, Heinz,” Stan smiled.
Mabel sees a chest hair on Dipper! Then she plucks it off and puts it in the scrapbook. Stan then shows him all of his chest hair to prove that he’ll get more.
“That is really gross,” Willow cringed.
“Why’d you do that, Mabel?” Luz asked.
“Dipper wanted to grow up too fast,” she shrugged.
“I guess that makes sense,” she shrugged.
“You know, I was around your age when I went through something like this,” Jeremy said.
“Really?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah,” the blonde nodded. “Being a blonde guy… doesn’t really make you look manly to some people. Tell me, what do you think of me?”
“You seem pretty manly to me.”
“Thanks. But that’s only because I realized that being a man is actually about just being proud to be who you are. Or at the very least not ashamed.”
“Is all that why you don’t socialize much?” Stacy asked.
“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Candace is actually the one who encourages me to go out more. I still have a few issues.”
“Well, you’re perfectly manly for me,” Candace hugged his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Then she squeezed his arm with a smirk. “Perfectly.”
“You two are good for each other,” Dipper smiled.
“Thanks,” Jeremy smiled.
Stan gets a call from Lazy Susan, and she insists on him greeting each of her many cats by name. He hangs up on her.
- FDHVDULDQ ZLOO EH RXW QHAW ZHHN. PU. DWEDVK ZLOO VXEVWLWXWH.
“What… After all that, you mean to tell me that you backed out of the relationship?!” Hop Pop exclaimed.
“She’s crazy, Plantar,” he defended. “She has like 17 cats and wanted me to greet all of them! When we went on our date, it was so awkward. And the restaurant hides it well enough, but she smells like cat pee.”
The audience all pulled faces at that bit of information.
“So, the whole thing was a bust,” Eda noted.
“Yep,” Stan sighed.
“Now that we’re done talking about that, what ended up happening with those manotaurs?” Phineas asked. “That Chutzpaur guy didn’t seem so bad.”
“Yeah, he was just hanging out with the wrong crowd,” Isabella agreed.
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” the host grinned.
“Huh?” everyone went.
Suddenly, the wall to the left moved aside, revealing a large patch of grass with large rocks and a tree. The door to Gravity Falls opened, getting bigger, and out came both Chutzpaur and Multi-bear, who sat down on the rocks.
“Guys? What are you doing here?” Dipper asked.
“In truth my friend, we have been here since yesterday,” Multi-bear answered.
“We decided to surprise you,” Chutzpaur continued.
“Well, consider us surprised,” Stacy said.
“As for your question, you triangle boy, Destructor’s actions actually led to the herd fracturing.”
“Really?” Anne questioned.
“Yes. Turns out, a lot of us weren’t happy with how Leaderaur ran things, and I was no exception. I always wanted to talk with the others about working through our feelings, but Leaderaur and his most devoted followers stamped that out. But after what happened… I left and became friends with Multi-bear.”
“We are actually best friends now. Other members of the herd joined too,” Multibear added.
“Wow,” Phineas blinked.
“Sounds like you guys were stuck in a real toxic mess,” Eda said.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Chutzpaur frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, I still like lifting weights and eating jerky, but I’m way more happy than I was before. I’m my own man now. And I’m proud of it.”
“You know, there will actually be a movie in 2023 that handles this whole topic beautifully.”
“Really?” Dipper asked.
“Yes. I watched it while looking across the Multiverse.”
“What is it?” Anne inquired.
“It is the live action Barbie movie.”
All the humans immediately gave the host flat looks and just blinked at them.
“What?” Luz deadpanned.
“Wait, hear me out–”
“Sweet Moses,” Stan put his hand over his face. “How much did this stinker make?”
“It probably flopped at $200,000,” Eda said. She’d been in the Human Realm long enough to know what Barbie was.
“It actually grossed 1.45 billion.”
“Wait, really?” Isabella questioned in confusion. The other humans were just as perplexed.
“Who’s in it?” Dipper asked.
“Margott Robbie.”
The humans blinked.
“She’s a pretty serious actress,” Luz noted. “Wait, is this a dramatic comedy?”
“Yes. It’s difficult to explain. Like, it would require an essay in a part 1 and part 2 format.”
“Who else is in it?” Vanessa wondered, still skeptical.
“Ryan Gosling.”
That earned a few gasps. Mainly from Mabel.
“That hunk of man from the Notebook?!” the Pines girl beamed.
“And La La Land?” Luz chirped brightly.
“Anyone else that stands out?” Anne asked.
“Will Ferrel.”
“Sold,” all the humans said in unison.
“I can show it to you all tonight, if you want?”
“You can do that?” Mabel asked.
“I’m showing you moments of your lives. I can show you anything. I can even show you the Star Wars: Holiday Special.” They raised their hand to snap their fingers and do just that.
“No! Don’t do that!” all the Star Wars fans cried.
“Let’s just watch the next episode instead.
“Agreed.”
Double Dipper
Wendy and Soos are setting up party decorations when Dipper and Mabel pretend to vomit on each other with silly string. Then Wendy joins.
The audience burst into laughter at that.
“What is that stuff? It looks like fun,” Gus asked.
“It’s silly string. I’ll introduce it to you later,” Luz answered.
“You guys are just so cute!” Anne gushed at the twins.
Soos asks who’s birthday it is, but Stan says it isn’t. It’s just a ploy to get people to spend money at the Shack.
Stan: The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!
“That wasn’t creepy at all,” Candace spoke sarcastically.
“Anyone else getting the feeling he lied right there?” Sprig wondered.
“Dipper, what was the date?” Mabel asked.
“June 15th,” he answered from the Journal.
Mabel gasped.
“It was your birthday, Grunkle Stan!”
“What the– How do you even know that?”
“Ford told me,” she whispered.
“Why didn’t you tell us it was your birthday?” Wendy questioned.
“I… It didn’t feel right,” he crossed his arms.
“Oh,” Dipper’s eyes widened as he realized the truth.
It wasn’t the same without Ford.
Back in the Mystery Shack, Stanford Pines sighed and frowned sadly.
“What’s wrong, Stanford?” McGucket asked.
“He spent 40 birthdays alone, Fiddleford. All because I didn’t stand up for him when he needed me most.”
Stan orders them to make copies of the fliers with the old copier upstairs. It’s a miracle that it’s even standing.
“Is that safe?” Jeremy questioned.
“Surprisingly, yes,” Dipper said.
It actually works. But when Dipper accidentally scans his arm, it makes a copy of it that comes to life and crawls towards them. They take it out with a splash of Pitt.
Everyone stared at the screen with wide eyes.
“What the heck just happened?!” Luz exclaimed.
Dipper: Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!
Mabel: Do you realize what this means? ( Pauses ) BBBBLLLAAAA!! (Sprays Silly String at Dipper)
The audience laughed at how the young girl broke the tense moment.
“My copier does what?!” Stan screamed.
“How could you not know?” Anne asked.
“I wasn’t exactly goofing off with it.”
How did Ford even manage to do this?
“A real cloning device. I can’t believe it!” Polly said, amazed
“Interesting,” Heinz cupped his chin. “I actually tried something similar.”
“How?” Phineas wondered.
“I made my own cloning machine with a tanning bed and a copier.”
“Was it to assemble an army?” King asked.
“No, it was so they could hold my place in line.”
A beat of silence passed.
“And how did that go?” Dipper inquired, wondering how long it took for them to turn on him.
“I actually never got to find out. I deleted all of them by accident.”
Soos is DJ. Mabel is supposed to help Wendy with the ticket stand, but she wants to make new friends.
Dipper: I… I could work with Wendy.
“Oh. This is another crush episode,” Isabella smirked.
Dipper just buried his head in his hands.
“Aw~!” Anne, Luz, Candace and Mabel gushed.
“I think it’s sweet,” Candace smiled.
“It really was,” Mabel agreed.
He’ll have to commit. Just the two of them. Alone. All night.
Dipper: I promise.
There were a few snickers at that.
“Honestly, I don’t blame you. She’s a real catch,” Anne praised.
Back at Plantar Farm, Sasha growled and Marcy pouted.
“Somebody jumped at the opportunity,” Isabella smirked.
“You’re one to talk,” he chuckled.
“Speaking of talking, that offer you made yesterday? How about we talk about all this at lunch?”
“I’d like that.”
Later, Dipper’s putting on a bow tie and is surprised to see Mabel there.
Mabel: Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss!
She pretends to kiss someone.
Everyone laughed at that.
“You just get funnier and funnier,” Eda sighed after calming down.
Dipper says he has a plan.
Mabel: Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated listy things, are you?
That is exactly what he’s doing.
“This is… excessive,” Stacy said, for lack of better words.
“Isn’t that kinda overkill?” Luz questioned.
“I’m confused. Wouldn’t having a plan like that be a good thing?” Phineas asked.
“No,” everyone in a relationship answered.
“This isn’t a date. And even on a date, you only have a general plan,” Luz explained.
“Most of the time, you actually just wing it,” Eda shrugged.
“Wi–Wing i- Wing it?” Phineas struggled to say.
“Yeah, wing it,” Stan said.
“That–That doesn’t make any sense. Candace?”
“Actually, I’ve found it to be true. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow,” his sister answered.
Dipper then has a fantasy about him dancing with Wendy.
The young Pines blushed brightly as everyone burst into laughter.
“Dipper, you’ve got me all wrong,” Wendy laughed. “I don’t plan. Much less swoon. I’ve never swooned and will never swoon in my life.”
“So, does that mean that the love of your life will make you swoon?” Mabel questioned.
“Never going to happen,” she shook her head jovially.
“10 bucks says you’re wrong.”
“You're on!”
“I feel like she just lost that bet,” Luz said, Willow and Gus nodding with her.
“Hey, Isabella? Is that what Phineas Land is like?” Susan teased, causing the rest of the troupe to laugh.
“Stand down, Fireside,” she ordered sternly.
Mabel: Dipper, you're the one getting in your way. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?
“You should listen to your sister,” Vanessa said.
“I know.”
The party’s actually nice. Even with Soos struggling to find the lightning sound.
Stan: And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!
Nate: We’ve only got 13!
Lee: We’re trapped!
Stan, Eda and Heinz laughed loudly while Nate and Lee gave the old man the stick eye.
“What? Not my fault you couldn’t afford the exit fee. That’s on you.”
“Oh, that’s genius!” Doof praised.
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure you’re not evil?”
Stan just huffed/sighed while Eda laughed harder.
Dipper tries some casual banter with Wendy… He’s so nervous that he fails. It’s hard to watch, really.
The audience winced.
“That… was hard to watch,” King said.
“This–This is pretty sad,” Anne frowned.
“Agreed,” Polly added.
Mabel meets Candy and Grenda. Grenada has a pet lizard and Candy has forks taped to her fingers to get more popcorn.
Mabel: I’ve found my people!
Everyone smiled at that.
That was when the door to the Gravity Falls room opened and out charged Candy and Grenda.
“Friends!” Mabel beamed and met them half way in a group hug where Grenda lifted them both off their feet.
“Nice to meet you two,” Isabella greeted as they sat down. Then she leaned over to her troupe and whispered, “Let’s keep an eye on them.”
“Is the thing I asked you about ready?” Mabel whispered.
“Pacifica’s just finishing it up,” Candy answered.
“Good,” she nodded.
Soos declares a competition for the party crown. That’s when Pacifica Northwest, the most popular girl in town, demands to have it.
The audience frowned and even glared at the screen.
“Let me guess, she’s your show’s bully?” Anne asked flatly.
Candy and Grenda crossed their arms and grumbled. Mable wrung her hands silently. Dipper scratched the back of his neck. Things may have been better between them and Pacifica, but that didn’t make what she did that night okay. Or any of the other moments across the years.
“Pacifica is the bully here, yes,” Mabel confirmed, not looking at them.
Luz frowned, not knowing what to think. Amity was a bully, but there was more to the story than that. She befriended her and soon fell for her.
And she fell hard.
Pacifica questions who’s gonna compete, and mocks Candy and Grenda. Mabel decides to stand up for her new friends. When she insults her name, she just takes it as a compliment.
“Good on you, girl,” Willow smiled.
“Your name’s pretty, by the way,” Candace said.
“Thanks,” Mabel smiled.
Pacifica: May the better partier win.
She and her friends then backwards dance into the darkness.
“Okay, that was pretty cool. Like objectively,” Sprig said.
“Yeah… it was,” Dipper admitted and cleared his throat.
Mabel smirked at him.
The party’s going nuts, so Wendy sneaks in, leaving Dipper alone at the ticket stand.
“I’m sorry, Dipper. I shouldn’t have bailed on you like that.”
“It’s okay, Wendy.”
Dipper tries to follow her but Stan stops him.
Stan: You promised, remember?
Dipper: I did?
Stan plays a tape recording of exactly that.
Everyone laughed again at that.
“He’s got you there,” Gus shrugged.
“Busted,” Vanessa laughed.
“You had a recording of that?” Candace questioned.
“I have a recording of all my deals and promises. It’d serve you well to do the same,” Stan explained.
Dipper: If only I could be in two places at once.
“Oh, you’re gonna use the cloning machine, aren’t you?” Polly grinned.
“Yep,” he nodded.
“Cool! You made copies of yourself to do your tasks like we did,” Phineas beamed.
“Yeah, I guess I did,” he smiled.
Dipper successfully copies himself.
Dipper: Whoa!… I have a really big head.
There were a few snorts.
“Some body parts grow faster than others. It should even out once you get your growth spurt,” Baljeet explained.
“That’s a relief. His head’s big enough already,” Stan said.
“AAAHHH!” Mabel screamed happily, getting everyone’s attention. “I have another brother! Aaahhh!”
They both say the exact same thing before laughing.
“Jinx! He owes you a soda,” Heinz grinned.
“You really haven’t learned your lesson from that, haven’t you?” Candace asked flatly.
Dipper: I will call you: Number 2.
Number 2: Definitely not. You a name I’ve always wanted?
Together: Tyrone.
“Tyrone?” Candace smirked.
“It’s a cool name, alright?!”
“Meh,” she shrugged. “I’ve heard better and worse, so you do you.”
Dipper: Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?
Tyrone: Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey! You can always just disintegrate with me with water.
Together: (Tap their heads) Yeeah... (Tap each other's heads) Yeeeeah!
That got a few laughs.
“Two Dippers!” Mabel beamed. “This is both really amazing and really weird at the same time!”
“Wait, is he actually sentient? My copies aren’t,” Gus said.
“I’ll explain it later,” Dipper responded.
While Tyrone mans the ticket stand, Dipper gets into the party to hang out with Wendy. Unfortunately, they’re not alone. Robbie’s there too, and he’s into Wendy. Also, he doesn’t remember Dipper.
Luz gasped.
“Romantic rival!” Then she frowned. “Wait, this isn’t gonna lead to a love triangle is it? Those things are so played out.”
“…Ish. Not really?” the boy answered.
“Is he just being a jerk, or does he actually not remember you?” Stacy asked.
“Huh. I actually don’t know,” Wendy blinked, remembering the Blind Eye.
Robbie plays his guitar and Dipper has a fantasy where Wendy punches him in the gut and screams to the punk: LET’S GET MARRIED TONIGHT!
There were a mix of pained laughs and wheezes at the sight.
“Dude, I wasn’t that impressed,” Wendy rolled her eyes.
“Oof. This reminds me of that fantasy I had,” Candace frowned, remembering her fears about asking Jeremy to the dance.
Tyrone calls, saying he just had the same fantasy.
The audience laughed.
They need to get rid of Robbie stat! So, they decided to clone themselves again, leading to 3.
“Another brother!” Mabel squealed.
3’s worried about Robbie catching him, so they clone another one. Unfortunately, this ones a paper jam.
Everyone cringed in sympathy.
“Yikes!” Holly said.
“Yeesh! That’s just… ouch,” Stan added.
“Oh! This is what happened to my clones. I had a paper jam and tried to delete him. But I accidentally pressed ‘Delete All’ and, well… you know,” Heinz told.
“Why did you even have that button?” Eda pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Same reason I have a self-destruct button. Emergencies! Also, they’re fun.
Pacifica sings Always Means Forever, and her final note is so high that it breaks a plastic cup.
“Wait, what?! She can do that?!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Yeah. You didn’t see it?” his twin questioned.
“No,” he answered. “Wow. Just wow,” was all he could say, very impressed with her.
Back in the Shack, Pacifica couldn’t hold back her victorious grin.
Pacifica: Try and top that! Oh, Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler.
Grenada: IWANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!
“I still kinda wanna do that,” she admitted.
Dipper and Mabel shared a concerned look.
Mabel doesn’t lose any determination and goes onto the stage and wins the crowd over with Don’t Start Unbelieving.
“WHOAHO! You pulled out the big guns for that one!” Luz praised.
“Thank you.”
“Truly one of the best songs of all time,” Ferb nodded.
Even the people who’d never heard it before were dancing to the lyrics.
Soos announces that Robbie’s bike is being stolen. He runs out as 3 and 4 speed off with it.
There were some laughs, but they didn’t last long.
“Dude! Not cool!” Nate glared.
“That was his bike, man!” Lee added.
“Dipper, he never found it!” Wendy finished.
“Oh! I’ll… I’ll help him find it later.”
“Robbie’s sending a lot of angry texts right now,” Tambry informed them, making Dipper gulp.
A nice slow song starts playing and Mabel encourages Dipper to dance with Wendy.
Everyone leaned forward in anticipation.
Dipper panics and runs off to plan more with Tyrone. It leads to more clones.
“Dipper~,” Mabel groaned.
“I know. I know,” he sighed.
“Well, on the bright side, I have so many brothers!” she cheered.
“My guy, just go for it. She’ll probably say yes,” Gus sighed.
“Yeah, man. Honestly, you’re almost as some people we know,” Willow added, thinking about Luz and Amity.
Titan, it was painful to watch them flounder like that, she thought.
10 gets Soos to chase a red dot, and puts in the “Wendy Mix.”
“That dot sure was a lot of fun,” Soos laughed.
Stan just sighed.
8 has a dollar on a fishing line held before Stan.
Stan: Right, like I'm gonna fall for that. (he pretends not to notice, then tries to grab it) GIVE ME THAT... MONEY, MONEY!
The entire theater was laughing hysterically.
“You are the most predictable man alive, Pines,” Eda shook her head.
Stan just grumbled with his arms crossed.
The plan is really coming together.
“What a brilliant boy” Lilith praised.
Dipper heads off to the dance floor, but he bumps into Wendy at the bathroom.
“Oh, I get it! Plans aren’t good because you can’t account for everything,” Phineas realized.
“Exactly,” Luz gave him a finger gun.
Wendy strokes up a conversation, and Dipper decides to put away his plan and participate.
“There we go,” Candace and Mabel said at the same time, proud grins on their faces.
She shows him a picture of her younger self. Turns out she was always tall. That’s when Dipper lets it slip that he grew bangs to hide his birthmark.
“You have a birthmark?” Candace questioned.
“Uh– Well, uh–” Dipper’s stammering was cut off by his sister gently placing her hand over his.
“Bro-Bro. It’s okay. These are good guys. You can trust them,” she smiled encouragingly.
“You’re right,” he smiled back.
Wendy get’s Dipper to show her, so, taking a big sip of a drink, he lifts up his bangs to reveal…
Wendy: The Big Dipper! That’s how you got your nickname!
“Wait, Dipper’s your nickname? I thought it was your real name,” Sprig said.
“I’ve gone by Dipper for so long that it may as well be,” he began. “People bullied me for having this thing, so I started going by Dipper to own it and get them to stop.”
“You too?” Candace frowned.
“Wait. You were bullied?” Dipper asked.
“You were?” Phineas blinked. This was news to him and Ferb.
“Long neck,” she gestured to it. “Older kids can be really mean when they want to be. It wasn’t until our Mom pulled some strings with their parents that they stopped.”
“Wow. That’s really cool of her.”
“Yeah,” she smiled. “She may not believe me about my brothers, but she’ll never let anyone talk down to me. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything.” Then she frowned again though. “I never got over it though. Not really.”
That’s not fair,” Dipper said, Mabel nodding in agreement.
“No. It isn’t.”
Jeremy, Stacy and her brothers pulled her into a hug.
A moment of silence passed before the conversation continued,
“So, if Dipper’s a nickname, then what’s your real name?” Gus asked.
“I don’t use my real name anymore, so it doesn’t really matter,” he responded before turning back to the Flynn-Fletchers. “I mean, does it matter who your guys’ biological parents are?”
“No. As far as we care, Ferb’s Dad is our Dad, and our Mom is Ferb’s Mom,” Phineas answered.
“Exactly. It’s like that. Dipper’s who I am now. Not that other name.”
“It’s been so long, I’m the only one here that actually knows it,” Mabel added.
“Wait, so your Grunkle doesn’t even know your name?” Eda asked.
“Uh…” Stan trailed off.
“What did he think it was?” Anne pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Uh, we don’t need to-” Stan tried to say.
“Dipptholemule,” Dipper answered, making the others laugh.
“Wow.”
“Give me a break, alright! I hadn't seen him since he was born!”
“Remarkable!” Lilith gasped in the Owl House. “I’ve never seen anything like that. Much less on a human.”
Wendy heads into the bathroom and that’s when the clones confront Dipper for not following the plan.
“This isn’t gonna end well, is it?” Polly asked.
“Yeah, no,” Dipper shook his head.
Tyrone: Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!
Soos: Never!
That got a few laughs from the audience.
“That dot does look like fun! Hoot!” Hooty said.
Dipper: Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person.
Number 5: If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy.
Dipper: Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other.
Tyrone: I think we all knew we were lying.
“Turn on your creator. Typical,” Heinz rolled his eyes.
“I’m confused. They’re you, so shouldn’t they agree with whatever you say?” Sprig questioned.
“They’re copies of me. I think how it works is that it scanned my mindset too and copied it. So now all those clones are stuck with that mindset,” he explained.
“So, they’re only sorta sentient,” Gus nodded.
“Because they’re incapable of changing their minds,” Isabella added.
“Exactly. And that’s why they turned on me.”
They lock Dipper in the closet. They even left him some snacks, which he munches on reluctantly.
There were some snickers at that last part.
The clones start falling to infighting over who should dance with Wendy.
“Of course they’re fighting over her,” King said.
“If you saw this coming, raise your hand?” Eda asked.
Everyone raised their hands.
“Chance,” Sprig realized.
Tyrone: Hey, guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?
Clones: Break out.
“You’re already gone!” Nate laughed.
The clones manage to stop him from rewatching the dance floor.
Dipper: Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity.
“That is true,” Baljeet nodded.
“Then what are you gonna do?” Willow asked.
“Well…” the Pines boy trailed off.
Dipper delivers an uppercut at Tyrone while he’s distracted.
“Woah!” the audience went, not seeing that coming.
“You had me fooled,” Eda admitted.
“Hey, nice hit, Dipper! You overextended yourself there, but good job nonetheless,” Stan beamed.
Dipper smiled at the praise.
Number 9: CLONE FIGHT!
“Aw, heck yeah!” Polly cheered.
“Sweet!” King grinned.
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan went.
“It’s the Clone Wars!” Anne joked, earning laughs from the Star Wars fans.
After failing to pretend to be Number 7, Dipper fires a part popper, unwittingly setting off the sprinklers, melting all the clones.
Paper Jam Dipper: NANANANANANA-KSCKSKSSOSKS (Subtitled:) It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper
“That’s depressing,” Vanessa said.
“And really funny! Ha Ha!” Polly laughed.
“How are they so comfortable with dying?” Hopediah asked.
“I don’t know,” Dipper shrugged.
“MY BROTHERS! NOOOOOOO! WHY?!” Mabel screamed before crying into her twin’s shoulder. “Oh great. Now I’m gonna have nightmares about you melting to death.”
He just held her and rubbed her back in comfort.
“I’m okay, Mabel. I’m okay.”
But Tyrone survived! And the fight continues.
Elsewhere, the final vote for the Party Queen is about to commence.
Mabel: Pacifica, I just wanna say that whoever wins, it's been a super fun party.
Pacifica: Tsk. Awwww, it thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that? People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither.
“To heck with you, Pacifica!” Anne yelled at the screen.
Dipper and Mabel flinched. Their friend definitely heard it.
Back in the Shack, Ford was frowning deeply at the blonde.
“Did you have to call my niece an ‘it?’”
Pacifica just bowed her head in shame.
Dipper and Tyrone continue fighting until they see Wendy laughing with Robbie.
Together: We blew it, man.
Candace and Isabella just patted Dipper on the back.
Soos: Applaud to vote for Mabel.
The crowd applauds loudly.
So did the theater. The loudest being the Fireside Girls.
“Yeah! Go Mabel!” Luz cheered.
“Girls, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Isabella asked her troupe.
“She’s a lot of fun, Isabella,” Susan nodded.
“And she definitely has plenty of drive and energy,” Holly added.
“She’d be a great addition. Her friends too, I think,” Gretchen took it home.
“Then we’re all in agreement?” their leader asked. They all nodded. “Great. I’ll tell her the good news in a minute.”
Soos: And the next contestant: Pacifica.
The crowd applauds quietly, but Pacifica glares at them angrily. More people reluctantly start to clap for her, making it a tie.
Many in the audience glared at her.
“She’s gonna do something. I don't know what, but it won’t be good,” Eda said.
Pacifica bribes McGucket into clapping, winning the crown.
“Boo!” many went.
“YOU HAVE NO HONOR!” they heard someone yell from the Danville room. Pacifica winced at the harsh but true words.
“Who was that?” Anne asked.
“I have a theory,” Baljeet said.
“Oh, Mabel, I’m so sorry! You should have won,” Soos apologized.
“It’s okay, Soos. I won something better,” she smiled at her friends.
Pacifica: Everyone comes to the after-party at my parents' boat! Woo-hoo!
“Oh, she’s a spoiled rich girl. Isn’t she?” Vanessa put two and two together.
“Yeah,” Candy nodded.
Or is she a tormented one? Luz wondered.
Dipper smiled, remembering the day he and Pacifica spent on her boat. That was the one of the most fun days he’d had in the entire summer. Not that he’d ever tell anyone that.
Mabel caught this smile and grinned broadly.
Mabel apologizes for not winning, but to her surprise, the girls want to have a sleepover.
Candy: Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have each other, and that is pretty good I think.
“Aw~!” a lot of people went.
“There’s nothing like a true friendship,” Isabella began, getting the girls’ attention. “A true friendship is one where even after being years apart, you pick up right where you left off like it was nothing. And you three clearly have that.”
“Thanks,” Candy smiled.
“You ladies seem to have that too,” Grenda added.
“Does that mean you wanna join in?” Adyson asked.
“What?” the trio blinked.
“How would you all like to join the Fireside Girls?” Isabella offered.
“Really?” Mabel smiled brightly.
“Sure. You three clearly have a lot of energy and this might be the best way to release it. I think you each have the potential to be something great, and the Fireside Girls are a great place to start.”
“It’s a sisterhood that transcends lifetimes,” Milly added.
“So? You three in?”
“Is it like summer camp?” Candy asked.
“Better,” Holly answered. “It’s like camp without actually going to camp. And you can accomplish so many things.”
“I wouldn’t have to go to Music Camp anymore!” she beamed.
“Does it work with long distance too?” Grenada asked.
“All over the world,” Gretchen said.
“ALRIGHT!”
“Mabel? What do you say?” Isabella grinned at her.
“What do I say? What do I say?!” The Pines girl looked over the Moon. “YES! YES! YES1 A MILLION TIMES YES!” she cheered before hugging the Garcia-Shapiro tightly.
“Welcome to the Fireside Girls!” the troupe cheered.
There were applause of congratulations from all around.
“Ooh! Can I join too! You ladies look like a lot of fun,” Polly asked.
They exchanged a look and nodded.
“Aw, heck yeah!”
Dipper and Tyrone are on the roof with sodas. The original questions if they even have a chance. Tyrone admits that the only thing that worked was when Dipper ignored the list.
Dipper: I know. Mabel was right, I do get in my own way.
Together: Literally!
“Now you’re getting it,” Candace grinned.
They drink the soda.
“Uh, did he just kill himself?” Sprig asked.
Tyrone realizes too late and starts to melt.
Tyrone: Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake...
“Oh, not again,” Mabel groaned and bowed her head.
Her new sisters comforted her.
Dipper just sighed. That was when Wendy elbowed him lightly.
“Hey, you did him proud. You’re acting normal around me all the time these days.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Wendy,” he smiled.
As Soos plays music with the girls dancing, Dipper takes out his list and tears it up before heading inside.
Mabel: Dipper! Where have you been? Meet my girlfriends!
“I’m really proud of you, Bro-Bro,” Mabel smiled. “Tearing up that list and having faith in yourself is gonna take you a long way.”
“I just wish I was listening to you from the beginning. My whole night might have gone better.”
“And not make those clones? Dude! That was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen!” Lee praised.
“Honestly, dude? I wish I was half as cool as you are when I was your age,” Nate admitted, surprising the Pines boy.
“As for crushing on Wendy, you’re not the first, and won’t be the last,” Tambry said. “She’s pretty much the local white whale.”
“That’s a new one,” Wendy snorted.
“Thanks, guys. That means a lot,” Dipper smiled up at them.
“You should still take your sister’s advice though,” Nate said.
“Okay. Mabel, what’s your next sisterly advice?”
“Take a shower,” was her immediate response. “Please? It’s not healthy for you to be like this.”
“I’ll… I’ll do it tomorrow,” he lied.
Everyone just sighed at him in disappointment.
KZKVI QZN WRKKVI HZBH: "ZFFTSDCJSTZWHZWFS!"
“Well, I’m glad that’s over,” Dipper breathed out in relief. As he spoke, he didn’t notice Mabel looking at her phone as a text came in. Nor did he notice her whispering to Wendy and Candace. “Now we can move on, put all this embarrassing stuff behind and…” he trailed off upon finally seeing that the three girls were facing him with determined and annoyed gazes. “Girls?”
They started to move around the room. Dipper watched with confusion and nervousness. Then some clicking sounds were heard, before they started moving towards him.
“Eh heh. Why did you lock the doors?” he laughed nervously. “Why do you have that rope?” He was starting to panic. “Who’s watching my journal?!”
The boy screamed as they pinned him to the ground and after a minute they stood up with him being tied up in rope.
“What’s going on?! Untie me!”
“No, Dipper. This is for your own good,” his sister said sternly.
“I just can’t take it anymore,” Candace groaned.
“Oh, if you think you had it bad, I had to deal with this for the entire Summer,” Wendy mentioned.
“Ha! Try a lifetime, ladies,” Mabel laughed.
“What are you even talking about?” the boy asked, earning flat looks. “Girls?”
1 Minute Later
“NOOOOOO!” Dipper cried as the girls dragged him towards the bathtub. He stood stiffly, his feet planted on the ground, but Wendy and Candace just lazily pulled the rope from where they stood.
“His clothes need to be washed too, so get that bath brush,” Mabel ordered.
“I’m on it,” Wendy nodded.
“Hopefully we won’t need the hose,” Candace said.
“HOSE?!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, quit being a baby,” his new friend chided.
That was when they dropped him in. The Pines boy just sulked as the water dripped off his head.
“You brought this on yourself, dude,” Wedny told him.
“And now we have to fix it,” his sister finished.
“Well, at least this can’t get any worse,” Dipper sighed.
“Hey, ladies! I brought the hose~!” Pacifica said in a sing-song voice, standing at the door with the hose in her hands, and a wicked grin on her face.
“Nevermind,” were his final words before Pacifica fired a blast of water at him.
(Wklv lv pb orqjhvw dqg prvw uhyhdolqj frgh bhw. L suredeob vkrxogq’w kdyh sxw vr pxfk lqwr rqh frgh, exw L uhdoob zdqwhg wr. Hqmrb.)
Wkhuh zdv d iodvk dv wkh Darorwo uhwxuqhg wr wkh urrp. Klv khdg zdv erzhg dv kh vsrnh wr wkh rwkhuv.
“L’yh mxvw uhwxuqhg iurp wkh Wkhudsulvp, dqg lw’v wuxh. Eloo Flskhu lv rxw.”
“Krz glg wklv kdsshq?!” Khlqc dvnhg. “L wkrxjkw wkh Wkhudsulvp zdv xqeuhdfkdeoh.”
“Lw xvxdoob lv,” wkh dpskleldq odphqwhg.
“Wkhq zkdw kdsshqhg?” wkh fdw dvnhg.
“Kh kdg khos iurp vrphrqh rq wkh rxwvlgh,” Hdqnl dqvzhuhg, pdnlqj hyhubrqh wxuq wr klp.
“Krz gr brx nqrz?” Ghdwk lqtxluhg.
“Lw doo vwduwhg vhyhudo prqwkv djr zkhq L ghflghg wr fkhfn rq wkh uhvw ri wkh Pxowlyhuvh. Iru ixq. Wkdw zdv zkhq L fdph dfurvv wklv.”
Wkh Wlwdq pdgh d jhvwxuh zlwk klv kdqg dqg wkh vfuhhq ehjdq wr sodb wkh fols.
(Vrqj: Eloo Flskhu’v Zh’oo Phhw Djdlq)
“Rndb, wkdw zdv suhwwb jrrg,” Khlqc sudlvhg.
“Remhfwlyhob, bhv,” Darorwo dgplwwhg.
“Rgg wkdw Vwdqohb Slqhv, Mhvxv Docdpludqr ‘Vrrv’ Udpluhc dqg Ilggohirug PfJxfnhw zhuh wkhuh dv zhoo,” wkh Julp Uhdshu qrwhg.
“Wkdw’v zkb L ghflghg wr wdnh d forvhu orrn. L sodbhg lw rq uhzlqg dqg wklv fdph xs iru hdfk ri wkhp,” Hdqnl vdlg.
Wkh fols ehjdq wr sodb edfnzdugv.
“…djrqb…”
“Djrqb?” wkh Darorwo txhvwlrqhg.
“Lw pxvw eh dqrwkhu xqlyhuvh zkhuh wkhb orvw dqg Eloo zrq,” wkh Jxdugldq erzhg klv khdg.
“L wkrxjkw vr dw iluvw. L zdv yhub whpswhg wr orrn dzdb dqg irujhw wkh zkroh wklqj exw…” wkh Wlwdq vkrrn klv khdg. “…Vrphwklqj ghhs grzq lq pb jxw wrog ph wkdw wklv zdv lpsruwdqw. Vr, L orrnhg forvhu dqg glvfryhuhg vrphwklqj doduplqj. Wkh eurdgfdvw zdv frplqj iurp zkdw brxu jurxs uhihuv wr dv wkh ‘5qg Glphqvlrq,’ Khlqc.”
“Wkh rqh zlwk wkdw pruh vxffhvvixo yhuvlrq ri ph?” kh dvnhg. Grri orrnhg wr vhh wkh rwkhu wzr’v idfhv vwduw wr sdoh. “Rndb, wkhuh’v vrphwklqj L grq’w nqrz khuh.”
“Wkdw’v wkh vdph xqlyhuvh zkhuh Vwdqirug dqg Ilggohirug shupdqhqwob eorfnhg wkh Qljkwpduh Uhdop rii iurp Hduwk!” wkh Jxdugldq hafodlphg. “Lw’v wkh rqob rwkhu rqh wkdw grhvq’w jhw ghvwurbhg!”
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“Bhv,” Hdqnl qrgghg.
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“Zlwk wklv.”
Zlwk d zdyh ri klv kdqg, d elj hpehu pdwhuldolchg lq lw. Wkhq lw fuxpeohg wr uhyhdo d eodfn errn zlwk wkh uhg wuldqjoh ghprq rq wkh fryhu.
“Wkh Errn ri Eloo,” wkh Darorwo lghqwlilhg lw.
“Ri frxuvh,” Ghdwk vwduwhg. “Eloo Flskhu’v wrro wr frppxqlfdwh zlwk wkh olylqj iurp wkh Wkhudsulvp. Klv odvw ghvshudwh dwwhpsw wr vwdb uhohydqw.”
“Lw lv dovr klv nhb wr uhodxqfklqj Zhlugpdjhggrq,” wkh Wlwdq srlqwhg rxw. “Wr uhdg lwv sdjhv uhtxluhv pdnlqj d ghdo zlwk wkh ghprq. Kh zrxog wkhq xvh wkhlu ergb wr vkdnh wkh kdqg ri klv vwdwxh, wkxv uhvwrulqj klp wr klv iruphu jorub.”
“Wkh uliwv,” wkh dpskleldq uhdolchg. “Vwdqirug wkuhz wkh errn lqwr rqh ri wkh vpdoohu uliwv dw wkh hqg ri wkh vxpphu.”
“Ohdylqj lw wr hqg xs dqbzkhuh dfurvv wkh Pxowlyhuvh,” wkh fdw ilqlvkhg. “Lw pxvw kdyh duulyhg lq wkh rwkhu xqlyhuvh.”
“Vr, vrphrqh iurp wkh Vhfrqg Glphqvlrq pdgh d ghdo zlwk klp?” Grri dvnhg.
“Lw zdvq’w mxvw dqbrqh,” wkh Wlwdq iurzqhg.
Wkh vfuhhq wkhq fxw wr d qhz fols.
“Xjk, Prp, Gdg, krz pxfk orqjhu duh zh jrqqd jr rq olnh wklv,” Ydqhvvd frpsodlqhg wr khu sduhqwv gulylqj wkh ioblqj fdu.
“Rk khb! Lw’v Ydqhvvd’v frxqwhusduw!” Khlqc julqqhg. “Zdlw, zkb lv Fkduohqh wkhuh?”
“Wkhb qhyhu vhsdudwhg lq wklv xqlyhuvh,” wkh fdw hasodlqhg.
“Ri frxuvh, wkhb glgq’w,” kh ghdgsdqqhg.
“Ydqhvvd ghdu, qrw wrr pxfk orqjhu. Uljkw Khlqc,” Fkdohqh vdlg.
“Qr, qrw wrr orqj dw doo,” Grri 5 julqqhg.
“Wkdw’v zkdw brx jxbv kdyh vdlg hyhub wlph zh jr vrphzkhuh. Zh’yh ehhq rq wkh uxq iru ryhu d prqwk! Krsslqj dfurvv wkh frxqwub iurp rqh sodfh wr wkh qhaw, orrnlqj iru d zdb wr uhfrqtxhu wkh Wul-Vwdwh Duhd. Dqg brx’yh dozdbv frph xs hpswb.”
“Vr, wklv lv zkdw wkhb glg diwhu ‘Wdohv ri wkh Uhvlvwdqfh’,” wkh Darorwo qrgghg.
“Grq’w zruub, Ydqhvvd. Wklv uhdoob lv wkh odvw vwrs. Hyhubwklqj zh qhhg lv lq wklv wrzq. Dv d pdwwhu ri idfw, zh’uh khuh,” Khlqc frqwlqxhg wr julq.
Wkh ioblqj fdu sdvvhg eb d wdoo vljq: Zhofrph wr Judylwb Idoov.
“Sohdvh whoo ph wklv lvq’w jrlqj zkhuh L wklqn lw’v jrlqj?” Khlqc ehjjhg. Kh jxoshg zkhq wkh Wlwdq vkrrn klv khdg.
Wkh ioblqj fdu odqghg lq wkh zrrgv. Wkh wkuhh zdonhg rxw dqg wkurxjk wkh wuhhv.
“Hyhubwklqj zh qhhg lv uljkw lq wkhuh,” Grri jhvwxuhg xs dkhdg. Wkhuh dsshduhg wr eh d odujh idflolwb vxuurxqglqj d fdelq. Rqh ri wkh exloglqjv kdg d odujh, jroghq vla-ilqjhuhg kdqg gudzq rq wkh vlgh.
“Wkh Lqwhuqdwlrqdo Lqvwlwxwh ri Rgglwb?” Fkduohqh txhvwlrqhg.
“Lw zdv irxqghg edfn lq wkh 13v, zkhq Vwdqirug Slqhv dqg Ilggohirug PfJxfnhw zhuh wkh iluvw wr hyhu vxffhvvixoob exlog d zrunlqj lqwhuglphqvlrqdo sruwdo,” Grri 5 vwduwhg. “Lw dfwxdoob jdyh ph wkh lqvsludwlrq iru wkh Rwkhu-Glphqvlrq-dwru.”
“Zkdw duh brx krslqj wr ilqg khuh?” klv zlih dvnhg.
“Wkhuh kdyh ehhq uxpruv wkdw Vwdqirug Slqhv kdg rxwvlgh khos. Khos iurp vrphrqh srzhuixo. L nhsw khdulqj derxw d rqh-hbhg wuldqjoh lq sduwlfxodu. Wkdw vdph lpdjh kdv dsshduhg wkurxjkrxw rwkhu prphqwrxv rffdvlrqv lq klvwrub. L frxog olvw wkhp doo, exw lw zrxog wdnh wrr orqj.”
Hyhubrqh hafhsw Hdqnl vkduhg d qhuyrxv orrn.
“Vr, wkdw’v lw? Brx eurxjkw xv khuh rq d kxqfk?” klv gdxjkwhu ghdgsdqqhg.
“Pruh ri d jxw ihholqj,” kh vkuxjjhg. “Qrz, Gu. Slqhv zloo eh uhwxuqlqj vrrq wr vhh klv idplob iru wkh uhvw ri wkh vxpphu. Zklfk jlyhv xv wlph wr lqwhuurjdwh klp dqg ilqg rxw hyhubwklqj zh qhhg wr nqrz dqg-”
Kh zdv fxw rii eb d orxg qrlvh. Lw vrxqghg olnh vrph nlqg ri hohfwulf whdu. Wkhb orrnhg ryhu lq iuljkw wr vhh hadfwob wkdw.
“Zkdw lv wkdw, Khlqc?!” Fkduhqh fulhg.
“Lw’v dq lqwhuglphqvlrqdo uliw,” kh dqvzhuhg. “Yhub lqwhuhvwlqj.”
Dqg dv txlfnob dv lw fdph, lw vhdohg vkxw. Exw qrw ehiruh vrphwklqj ihoo wkurxjk dqg klw wkh jurxqg. Wkh jurxs fduhixoob vwhsshg wrzdug lw wr vhh d errn. D eodfn errn zlwk d uhg wuldqjoh rq wkh fryhu.
“Rk qr. Qr qr qr qr qr,” wkh Jxdugldq zhqw.
“Lw fdph wr klp?!” Khlqc vfuhdphg.
Khlqc julqqhg zlfnhgob dqg slfnhg xs wkh errn, zdvwlqj qr wlph lq rshqlqj lw. Kh iolsshg wkurxjk wkh sdjhv xqwlo odqglqj rq wkh rqh wkdw fdxjkw klv hbh. Lq erog ohwwhuv zhuh wkh zrugv: Wr Vxpprq.
Guhdg iloohg wkh urrp dv wkh lpsolfdwlrq ehfdph fohdu.
“Wkdw’v krz kh jrw rxw,” wkh Darorwo erzhg klv khdg.
“Qr…” Khlqc wudlohg rii, vwdulqj dw klv dowhuqdwh vhoi lq kruuru.
“1) Sodfh brxu kdqg rq wkh uljkw sdjh.”
Kh sodfhg klv uljkw kdqg ryhu wkh eorrgb kdqgsulqw.
“Vwrs! Brx’uh pdnlqj d plvwdnh!” wkh Grri vkrxwhg. “L’yh wudyhoohg wkurxjk hqrxjk ri wlph wr vhh wkdw wkdw jxb lv rqob wurxeoh!”
“2) Fohdu brxu plqg.”
Kh forvhg klv hbhv.
“Gdg, zkdw duh brx-”
Fkduohqh fryhuhg khu gdxjkwhu’v prxwk.
“Qr! Wdon vrph vhqvh lqwr klp!” Surihvvru Wlph fulhg rxw lq ydlq.
“Lw’v qr xvh,” Ghdwk vsrnh lq uhvljqdwlrq, wkh rwkhu Frvplf Ehlqjv kdylqj wkh vdph hasuhvvlrq.
“3) Uhshdw wkh zrugv: Wlph wr jhw zhlug.”
“QRRRRRRRRRR!” Grrihqvkpluwc bhoohg dw wkh wrs ri klv oxqjv.
Wkh vnb gdunhqhg, hyhubwklqj hafhsw wkh wkuhh Grrihqvkpluwc’v jrlqj eodfn dqg zklwh. Wlph durxqg wkhp vwrsshg.
Wkhq fdph wkh odxjklqj. Odxjklqj iroorzhg eb d iodplqj wuldqjoh lq wkh vnb. Wkhq zkdw orrnhg olnh d vwdwlf fxw mrlqhg wkh lpdjh. Dqg wkhq rqh vlqjxodu hbh.
“KD KD! KD KD! KD KD KD KD KD KD!”
Wkhq lw vxgghqob pruskhg lqwr d bhoorz, rqh-hbhg, sbudplg orrnlqj wuldqjoh zlwk d wrs kdw, erzwlh, dupv dqg ohjv.
“Zhoo, wklv lvq’w wkh Judylwb Idoov L nqrz, exw lw’v forvh hqrxjk! L’p mxvw jodg vrphergb ilqdoob vxpprqhg ph.”
“Eloo Flskhu,” Grri 5 julqqhg. “L eholhyh zh fdq khos hdfk rwkhu.”
D ehdw ri vlohqfh sdvvhg. Dqg wkhq…
“DDDDDDDDKKKKKKKKKKK!” Khlqc vfuhdphg.
Notes:
Well now, how was that? This is one I've been dying to get to for over a year. Isabella and Dipper's friendship over crushes. Mabel, Candy, Grenda, and even Polly joining the Fireside Girls. Lilith deciding to make Dipper her new apprentice. The list goes on. Are you excited about all these new development? Let me know in the comments below.
Also, my most popular YouTube video just broke 50,000 views! HECK YEAH!!!!!!!
See you next time for the next three Amphibia episodes. And wow. I'm almost half way done with Season 1 of Gravity Falls. I'm quite proud of that not so little accomplishment.
Have a great day, wherever you are. Until next time. This is the Way.
Edit: Can’t believe I forgot this. I have a challenge for any who are brave and driven enough. I want you… to write your own version of this story, a crossover reaction fic with the Big Three……… and Avatar: The Last Airbender! It could take place at the same time as Owl House in another dimension. Just think of the possibilities: Sokka and Dipper friendship. Luz and Aang. Polly and Toph. Zuko and the redeemed mean girls. Iroh and everyone! The possibilities are endless! Maybe Korra and Asami could be part of the group in the codes, coming from some kind of Days of Future Past time travel/multiverse travel scenario? I know I definitely want Roku’s spirit in that group. And it could involve Bill Cipher making a deal with Ozai. I’d bd more than happy to help as the Beta reader. So, which one of you is brave enough to take up this challenge?
Chapter 14: Life on Plantar Farm: Part 1
Notes:
Exams. That's all I'll say. I was really hopping this chapter would be twice as long, but I guess I'll make the second half as soon as I can. I wrote this whole thing in one day, so I can probably do that again.
This counts as within a month, right? February's weird. It's barely past midnight for me and I wanna be able to say I met the deadline. I'll let you decide.
Anyways, here's Amphibia!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Gravity Falls door opened with Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Candace coming through. The girls had relieved smiles while Dipper had an annoyed frown.
“Finally. No stink,” Mabel sighed blissfully. “You better take another one tomorrow, Mister.”
“And the next day. And everyday after for the rest of your life,” Wendy added.
“Capisce?” Candace finished.
The boy didn’t look at them and just groaned with his arms crossed.
“Don’t be like that. It was for your own good,” Wendy said.
He groaned again.
“Is this about us or Llama spraying you with the hose?” Candace asked.
“Both,” he grunted.
“You know we didn;t tell her to do that, right?” Mabel placed a hand oin his shoulder.
“I know,” he sighed, letting his frustration with the girls go. “But I swear, I will get her back for this.”
“I’d pay good money to see that,” Wendy smirked.
“You’ll have to do that another time,” the host said as they sat down. “Time for the Amphibia episodes.”
Anne Theft Auto
“Anne Theft Auto? That’s a weird title. Any idea what this is about?” Luz asked the girl in question.
Anne and Sprig both immediately paled.
“Oh no,” the two spoke quietly in unison.
No~! This is one of the only things I got away with!” she bemoaned.
Anne and the Plantars are riding on Bessie. The kids make requests that Hop Pop denies. Anne asks if she can drive and he says yes, much to her surprise.
Hop Pop: Absolutely. I've been trying to teach this guy for years.
Sprig: It’s true.
That got a few snickers from the audience.
“Ah, nothing shows just how much you’ve grown up than learning how to drive,” Stan sighed wistfully.
“Pretty sure driving a snail is a lot less terrifying than driving a car,” Candace mentioned.
“Oh yeah. How did the drive on the real road with your Mom go? You never said how it went,” Stacy inquired.
“The less said about my first drive, the better,” she said evasively. The redhead did not want to be reminded of how they flew and nearly crashed.
Cut to Plantar Farm where he gives her the book on Bessie’s history. She has to read it cover to cover before even touching the reins.
“Seriously?” Lee questions.
“Bessie isn’t just an ordinary vehicle. She’s a noble soul that you need to know completely before you can trust yourself with both your safeties,” Hop Pop explained.
At that moment, the door for Amphibia opened up and out came the snail herself. The sweet girl trilled and stopped beside Chutzpaur and Multibear.
“Another mighty beast has joined us,” the Manataur noted.
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel gasped. She then ran up to the snail and hugged her. “She’s beautiful!”
The rest of the Fireside Girls, which now included her friends, came up and began petting her. Bessie trilled happily from all the affection.
Anne: Are there pictures?
Hop Pop: There are diagrams!
Anne: Noooooooo!
The audience laughed at that.
Hop Pop takes Polly inside for a bath, much to her displeasure.
Many smickered and some even awed at the sight.
“Aw, come on!” Dipper complained. “How is it okay when she does it?”
“Dipper, she’s a baby. You on the other hand are thirteen!” Candace chastised.
“That…” he tried to come up with a counterpoint but fell silent. “Okay, that’s fair.”
Anne complains that she’ll be old by the time she finishes.
Sprig: Yeah, page five is as far as I got. Too much description, not enough plot.
“What kind of manual is this?” Gus asked, both perplexed and humorously.
“The Bessie kind,” Hopediah answered.
Anne: This is ridiculous. I don't need history. (She puts the book in Bessie's bag and jumps onto her.) I need experience. Hey. What do you say we take a harmless test-drive? Prove to Hop Pop we're fast learners?
“What?” Hop Pop perked up.
Anne and Sprig began to sweat profusely as their terror built up, making everyone eye them closely.
“Oh. You didn’t know,” Eda grinned, eager to watch the chaos unfold.
“Wow. Deja vu,” Luz said and looked at Owlbert. “Let’s hope it goes better than our time.”
Sprig: Hmm. Do you get the feeling this is one of those decisions we'll look back on and say, "Ooh-boy, we probably shouldn't have done that"?
Anne promises Swamp Slushies.
Sprig: No regrets!
And they speed off on the giant snail.
Everyone laughed at the exchange. That is, everyone except for the two on screen and their grandfather, who looked like he just saw something heretical.
“YOU TOOK BESSIE ON A JOYRIDE?!!!!!” Hop Pop screamed.
“Um… maybe?” Anne smiled nervously. All of them could see that it didn;t reach her eyes, which showed just how scared she was.
This was something she looked back on and regretted now.
Mrs. Croaker is riding her ladybug.
“AAHH!” Willow shrieked and proceeded to hide behind her friends.
“Willow? You okay, Kid?” Hop Pop asked, his anger and fear for Bessie momentarily forgotten.
“I don’t like ladybugs,” she whimpered.
In the Owl House, Hunter desperately tried to open the door. He leaned back, pulled on the knob with one foot pressed against the wall.
“Come on, open up!” he groaned. “My Captain needs me!”
Camila smiled sweetly while Darius tilted his head.
“Are they…?”
“They have… something going on,” she continued to smile.
“Hmm,” he hummed in thought before cracking a small smile.
Bessie zooms past her, causing the ladybug to spin out of control. Sprig calls her a slowpoke, patting his bottom at her.
“SPRIG!” Hop Pop chastised while the Falls plus Eda, King and Polly laughed.
“Don’t worry, Hop Pop. I paid for what I did,” Sprig shuddered.
Anne: What was that?
Sprig: I've always wanted to try road rage.
Anne: And the verdict?
Sprig: Exhilarating.
Everyone laughed again.
Saying that this is easy, they decide to go off-road.
“Uh, that might not be a good idea,” Isabella said.
“It wasn’t,” Anne admitted.
It goes about as well as you would think. Badly. The pair soon decide to go back on-road.
“Smart idea,” Dipper nodded with a deadpan.
Unfortunately, Bessie doesn’t move and even hides under her shell.
“What the?” Stan blinked.
“The heck is going on with her?” Eda wondered.
Hop Pop sucked in a breath. He knew what that meant. There were predators nearby! And Anne and Sprig were stuck with them!
They try to get her to come out, but nothing works, and pushing her is immediately proven to be a bust, so Sprig leaves to get Hop Pop.
“At this point, it’s you’re only option,” Vanessa said. Then she turned to her father. “Hey Dad, when can I-”
“We’ll talk about you getting a car later,” was his response. Then he leaned in the whisper, “Besides, don;t you have an alien dragon?”
“That’s… that’s a good point. But I can’t exactly bring her to school.”
“Like I said, we’ll talk about it.”
Anne, being bored and wanting to pass the time, decides to read Bessie’s History.
Hop Pop sighed in relief. Reading that book just saved Anne and Bessie’s lives.
Anne: "It was an especially cold morning the day Bessie was brought into this world."
Hop Pop: (narrating) "The leaves had just changed color, and now I shall describe those leaves to you in great detail--"
The audience either laughed or groaned.
“Leaves? Seriously, Plantar?” Stan questioned incredulously.
“When you love your snail, you’ve gotta show it by committing to every detail.”
“Hmm. I guess that makes sense. Lord knows how much I love my car.”
Sprig reaches the road and gets an incoming driver to stop for him. And it’s…
Mrs. Croaker: Bless my socks. If it isn't Sprig Plantar.
“Ohhh!” the audience moaned in painful laughs.
“Well, this just got more interesting,” Eda grinned, taking a sip of her apple blood.
Willow whimpered again at the sight of the ladybug.
Mrs. Croaker says she forgives him for his road rage and agrees to give him a ride home. Just watch out for ol' Archie, though. His venom can cause paralysis.
“Well, that’s certainly… a unique pet,” Jeremy said politely.
“Aw! Look at him! He’s like a dog!” Isabella gushed.
Sprig hops on and the pair are ready for the open road!… Only for her ladybug to go very very slow.
Everyone laughed at that.
Hop Pop: (narrating) "And it was at that moment I realized Bessie was no ordinary snail, but a kind, clear soul who would help others at a drop of a hat. I raised my bid to 400 copper pieces, winning the auction, and in the process, saving Bessie from the nefarious Jim Snapes."
Anne: Yes! In your face, Snapes.
“Somebody’s gotten invested,” Luz smirked.
“What was so bad about that Snapes guy anyway?” Thompson asked.
“Jim Snapes was a horrible frog,” Hop Pop glowered. “He advocated for eating snails!”
The Plantar gasped in horror while the girls surrounding Bessie held her tighter.
Sprig is getting bored and calling out to other drivers to give him a ride with no success.
That earned a few chuckles.
Mrs. Croaker: You know what would make this ride go a lot quicker?
Sprig: What? Anything. What?
Mrs. Croaker: A song! ♪ Ninety-nine jugs Of juice on the wall ♪ ♪ Ninety-nine jugs of juice ♪ (Becomes slow motion for Sprig) ♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪
Everyone was now laughing hard. Eda, King and Polly had to lean on each other for support.
Hop Pop: (narrating) "The snow swirled around us and I knew we were doomed. I could feel the strength leaving my body bit by bit. The sweet embrace of eternity crept closer and closer. Until suddenly I heard a sound pulling me back." (warbling) "Bessie... Bessie was singing!"
Anne starts sobbing.
There were a few snickers at Anne’s complete change of tone towards the book, while the others were either smiling sweetly at the screen, or whipping tears from their eyes.
“You’re the most magical snail in the world!” Mabel cried, the tears pouring down her face as she continued to hug her. She even climbed atop her shell to get a better grasp.
After hugging Bessie, Anne learns that the reason she hides in her shell is because a predator is nearby.
The audience gasped.
“Oh boy,” Sprig said
“This can’t be good,” Tambry added.
She looks through the book to find a picture of the natural predator of snails: hedgehogs.
Anne: Aw, it's actually pretty cute.
“So, that’s a hedgehog,” Gus realized.
“It is cute,” Willow nodded.
It’s not cute! It’s not cute! It’s a savage beast!
The audience screamed and recoiled at the sight.
“Why does your world keep turning nice things into horrifying monsters?!” Stan yelled.
The Plantars just shrugged, not knowing the answer.
Anne hops onto Bessie as the hedgehogs move closer.
“Leave her alone you monsters!” Polly, Mabel and Luz shouted at the screen.
Anne: (reading) "When Bessie senses danger, you gotta sit on her shell and yell at the top of your lungs, 'Bessie, things are getting messy!'"
Bessie immediately bolts away.
The audience cheered.
“Yeah! Run like the wind, girl!” Luz whooped. “Wait, do snails even run?”
“Who cares? They’re gonna be safe!” King responded happily.
They have a good head start, but the hedgehogs are gaining on them and firing their quills.
Dipper wasted no time in jotting that down.
“Our hedgehogs can’t do that,” Baljeet mentioned.
“It’s like everything in this world was designed to kill you,” the Pines boy agreed.
Anne: "If you still haven't escaped, give Bessie some berries from the secret compartment in the front of her shell."
The inside of the compartment is next to her organs.
“Ew~!” Candace and Tambry moaned.
Bessie eats the berries and releases a slime that has the hedgehogs slipping, allowing them to escape.
The audience cheered and whooped at the victory.
“Yeah! You go you beautiful, beautiful snail!” Mabel went. The she gasped. “I know what I want to do for my first patch. I wanna learn to ride Bessie!”
“Her book’s right there in that pouch,” Hop Pop smiled.
The Pines girl proceeded to pull the book out and open it.
“I will read this whole thing if it’s the last thing I do!” she swore then and there.
Anne: Way to go, Bessie! You are the queen of the road.
“She sure is,” Hop Pop beamed proudly.
Mrs. Croaker: ♪ Take one down Pass it around ♪ ♪ No more jugs of juice On the wall ♪
Sprig: (sighs) Glad that's finally over.
Mrs. Croaker: One more time!
Sprig covers his face with Archie and screams.
Everyone burst into laughter again.
“Ha! It’s almost like she’s intentionally torturing you!” Heinz laughed.
Anne arrives and Sprig hastily hops on.
Mrs. Croaker: Bye, darlin'. Next time, try to keep that road rage in check. (laughs) Yee-haw! (She whips her ladybug and it takes off at high speed. Mrs. Croaker's cackling is heard.) Woo-hoo!
The audience’s jaws dropped at the sight. The only sounds that could be heard were the laughs of Eda, Polly and King.
“Oh man. I would love to meet this woman,” Eda grinned.
Sprig: Pretty sure I just got played.
Anne: That woman is everything I want to be.
There were nods of agreement from the other ladies.
“That was the perfect justice,” Candace snickered.
It’s dark by the time they get back, and Hop Pop is still trying to give Polly a bath.
Polly: You'll never take me alive!
Hop Pop: Dang it, Polly. You're getting filth everywhere!
A crash is heard.
There were more laughs while Hop Pop just sighed. Polly meanwhile was grinning victoriously.
“How long did it take you to bathe her?” Stacy giggled.
“It was five hours,” Polly answered proudly since Hop Pop didn’t answer..
Anne decides to stay out with Bessie a bit longer and continues reading.
“Aw, you two really bonded,” Luz smiled. “I can relate to that,”
“Yeah. Bessie’s really something else,” Anne smiled back.
“I can relate to that,” she said, gently petting Owlbert.
Hop Pop is woken up the next morning by Anne dropping the book on his bed. Her eyes are bloodshot.
Anne: Good morning, Hopadiah.
Everyone leaned away from the screen in shock.
“What the–Kid, did you get any sleep that night?” Stan asked in concern.
“No. But it was worth it,” she responded with no regret.
Anne: I was wrong about Bessie. She's not just a vehicle. She's a noble, beautiful creature.
“The most noble and beautiful creature,” Hop Pop nodded
Hop Pop: And now that you've read this, all you need is experience.
Anne’s eye twitches. Then she chuckles. Those chuckles soon turn into a wild, evil laugh as she leaves the room.
Hop Pop: I don't feel safe.
Everyone laughed again.
“Glad that makes sense now,” Hop Pop mentioned. “Anne, it was very dangerous and reckless of you to take Bessie out on a joyride. But you put the time and effort into protecting Bessie and learning to value her. And you’ve become quite the driver since then,” he smiled proudly.
“Thanks, HP.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“So, that’s it? I’m off the hook?”
“Oh no, I’m furious. You’re on dish duty for a month.” The he leaned in to whisper, “And we’ll also be talking about this with your parents.”
“NOOOOOO!”
Breakout Star
Hop Pop: Hmm. Got any threes?
Polly: I ain't telling you nothing, old man.
That earned a few snickers from the audience. Eda especially.
“Titan. Between you and Mabel, I’m not sure which of you is making me laugh more.”
Anne emerges from the basement, her face covered in pimples.
The audience cringed at the sight.
“Oof! That’s rough, girl,” Stacy said.
“I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner,” Anne shrugged.
“Yeesh! I am not looking forward to that,” Dipper mentioned.
“Agreed!” his sister added.
Anne: AHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sprig: AAGH!!
Hop Pop: IS SOMEONE DEAD?!!!
Polly: WHY ARE WE YELLING!!??!!
Everyone laughed at the exchange.
She gestures to her face and the family gasps. They think she’s diseased and pull out weapons to quarantine her.
Polly: Don't struggle, Anne.
“Wait, were you all prepared for something like this?” Vanessa questioned incredulously.
“Diseases are pretty common in Amphibia. You never know when you’re gonna catch one,” Hop Pop answered.
“Polly looks like she’s ready to take her down all by herself,” Willow noted.
After explaining it’s just a human thing, Anne laments about already being treated like a monster and how this will make it worse.
“How bad was it?” Dipper asked in concern.
“Well…”
After Sprig denies that anyone treats her like a monster, a flashback is shown of the town running away in terror just because Anne is outside.
Everyone who’d ever felt like an outcast immediately patted her on the back.
Sprig: Okay, fair point, fair point. But who cares what they think? We like you.
“Aw,” Luz and Mabel gushed.
Anne: Uh-huh. I'm going to go hide in the basement until this clears up.
Anne’s dismissiveness brought in another round of laughter.
Unfortunately, Hop Pop needs everybody’s help selling scream beans at the vegetable stand today.
“Why do your green beans scream?!” Candace yelled.
“They just do,” Hopediah shrugged.
Hop Pop: All right, kids. Get out there and sell like your lives depend on it. Because they do. We-- We really need this.
The audience blinked at the sight before turning to Hop Pop.
“How much were you guys struggling?” Heinz asked.
“Let’s just say It was a tough time to be a farmer in Amphibia,” Hop Pop sighed, worrying the others.
Anne has put a disguise over herself to hide her pimples. Unfortunately, a kid pumps into her, revealing them to everyone.
Anne: No! No, don't look at me.
Candace, Dipper, Mabel and Luz sighed, expecting things to only get worse for their friend.
Villager: They're warts. Beautiful, ruby-red warts.
“Huh?” the four blinked.
The townsfolk love them! Meaning they love Anne too.
“Well, I’m not ine to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even when it makes no sense,” Dipper said.
“Yeah, good for you, girl!” Mabel beamed.
“I’m glad I was just proven wrong,” Candace agreed.
“I guess it makes sense. The town is called ‘Wartwood’ after all,” Isabella shrugged.
At the Town Hall, Mayor Toadstool is lamenting about how the town hates him. With a passion, Toadie adds.
Toadstool: It's as if embezzling money from the town makes you the bad guy!
“What?!” Candace and Vanessa barked.
“Ugh! This is so typical of politicians,” Wendy rolled her eyes.
“Oh, this guy is going down! D-O-W-N, down!” Candace glared at the screen.
“Let’s hope so,” Vanessa nodded.
They need a miracle soon or they’ll lose next month’s election for sure. That’s when he notices Anne’s popularity through the window.
Toadstool: Oh, my dear Toadie, I do believe our miracle has arrived.
“Why is he saying it like that?” King pulled a face.
“It’s his accent,” Stan said, hearing it from Bud enough times.
“He’s gonna try to manipulate you, isn’t he?” Wendy frowned.
The townspeople have given Anne all kinds of gifts. Even chocolate covered maggots which Polly immediately consumes.
“How do those maggots taste?” King asked, intrigued.
“Amazing,” Polly answered.
“Wow, Anne. They really love you and your warts,” Mabel beamed.
“Nope. It was just the warts. Appreciate the confidence though. It’s refreshing,” Anne responded.
Anne: I better take care of these moneymakers if I wanna keep this up.
She proceeds to grab a stick of butter and rub it on her face.
Anne: Babies. Babies are hungry.
The entire audience pulled a face at that.
“Yikes! Never do that again,” Stan said.
“Yeah, dude. Never do that again,” Soos agreed.
Toadstill comes over, offering Anne a ride in the fancy snail. But it’s only for her. She accepts.
Hop Pop: It begins.
“What do you mean?” Phineas asked.
Hop Pop: Fame changes people, kids. And not in a good way.
“Is that true?” the triangle headed boy asked.
“Yep. Fame has a way of going to your head. I should know. It turned one of my childhood friends into someone completely unrecognizable,” Eda frowned, thinking of Odalia.
Anne agrees to help improve Toadstool’s reputation and he keeps her popular.
“Good move,” Stan nodded in approval. “Milk this thing for as much as you can.”
A montage plays of the two going around town opening new things, shaking hands and gaining popularity.
“That last one didn’t even make any sense!” Wendy exclaimed.
“Yeah, I don’t know what that was about,” Boonchuy responded.
Toadstool then shows Anne her new place at Town Hall.
“Holy mackerel!” Stan’s eyes gleamed.
“Now that is living in style,” Eda grinned.
“Just you wait, Pumpkin. With this new business deal, our place will be looking like that,” Heinz grinned.
The Plantars arrive as Toadstool leaves.
Anne: Can you believe I was living in your basement? Ha! It was cold, dusty, not to mention smelly. Oh, no offense.
Hop Pop: None taken.
“And there’s the change,” Willow said.
“Oh, and there’s absolutely offense taken,” Vanessa noted.
Anne winced at her past actions.
“Yeah, I’m not proud of this.”
Anne remembers she has to sign autographs later, so she pretty much kicks them out. But she can still hear them from the other side of the door.
Sprig: The heck was that? It's like she's a different person.
Polly: Yeah. A crazy person.
“Sorry, Anne,” Sprig and Polly apologized, not knowing she heard that.
“No guys, I’m the one who should be sorry. I was crazy there.”
Hop Pop: Hey. None of that. Kids, when one of your own makes it big, you support them. No matter what. Because deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, they're the same person.
“That’s a lot of deeps, Mr. Plantar,” Wendy snickered.
“People have a lot of layers. Like onions,” he reasoned.
Anne starts to feel guilty.
“Good,” Anne frowned at her past self. “I needed that wakeup call.”
She wakes up the next morning to find her pimples have receded.
“Oh no!”
“Your pimples!”
“What are you gonna do now?!”
“Welp, guess it’s time to start a scam,” Pines rubbed his hands together.
“How come they just receded like that?” Isabella asked.
“The less said about acne, the better,” Thompson said.
She gives Toadie a note through the door.
Toadie: Of course, ma'am. But before I do, could I get an autograph? I'm a huge fan.
Anne: Yeah, sure. Why not? Here. Now go.
Toadie: Uh, this is a little hard to read.
Anne: Just go!
The audience chuckled at that.
The Plantars arrive to help. Though Sprig is reluctant at first, he gives her his full support.
Anne gave her brother a hug, which he was quick to reciprocate.
“What would I do without you?” she asked.
“Well, you’d probably be dead,” Polly answered.
Sprig: I got it! What if we stuck some of these swamp berries to your face? They kinda look like pimples.
“Good idea
Anne: Great. But how can we get to the swamp without me being seen? I have f-Annes everywhere.
The audience blinked in confusion.
“I beg your pardon?” Ferb asked.
Anne: F-Annes. It's what we're calling my fans.
Polly: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Eda laughed once again at another of Polly’s lines.
“Kid, you are a natural. Come here.”
The Clawthorne then proceeded to pick the pollywog up and put her on her lap.
“You're staying with me from now on.”
“Hmm. I don’t hate this.”
Hop Pop: Don't worry about the crowds, Anne. I have a pla-Anne.
Polly groans.
Everyone snickered.
They hide Anne in a cart full of what they say are plague towels.
Polly: If you don't wanna cough up your organs, stay back!
“That is messed up!” Vanessa frowned.
“Is this common in Amphibia? Why don’t you have a more safe way of doing things?! Like hazmat suits?!” Doofenshmirtz questioned incredulously.
“Great advice, but you’re about one thousand years too late,” Hopediah said.
They see Anne’s foot and realize what’s going on, causing the family to run.
“Well, at least you tried,” Soos mentioned.
They won’t make it without a diversion. So, Hop Pop uses Anne’s shoe as bait. Anne screams as he sacrifices himself.
Hop Pop: Fly, you fools.
There was some snickering from the teens.
“Did he just quote Gandalf?” Stacy giggled
“Oh yeah,” Jeremy nodded.
The crowd swarms him.
Polly: Eh, he'll be fine.
Everyone burst into laughter again.
“You’re my favorite,” Eda praised.
“You too, lady,” Polly smiled up at her.
They get Anne the berries and she thanks them for the help.
Sprig: That's what we're here for.
Polly: Not me. I'm here for the drama.
“Oh, we are definitely gonna get along great,” Eda grinned.
Anne arrives at the assembly and explains that the Plantars helped her.
Toadstool: The Plantars? Anne, honey, I thought we talked about this. Hanging out with those bumpkins will only pull you down to their level. I think it's for the best that you not be seen with them anymore. Understand?
“Oh. Now I get what’s wrong with fame,” Phineas realized.
“He’s making you choose between fame and your family? That’s horrible!” Isabella cried.
“Yep,” Eda sighed, her mood souring. “My friend was given a choice between treating the people in her life with respect versus fame and fortune. She chose fame and fortune, and she has never been the same.”
She says she understands and begins to address the crowd.
Anne: Crazy week, huh? Couple days ago, I was a monster. And now I'm the pride and joy of Wartwood. I've got a nice apartment, f-Annes, fame. But you know what I'm missing? The people who'll stick with me whether I'm a monster or not.
She removes the berries, becoming “hideous” again.
“You made the right decision, Kid,” Eda praised.
“I know,” Anne nodded. “Besides, what was I supposed to do? Keep putting berries on my face? That would have been exhausting.”
“Well, hey. You're surrounded by people who will treat you fairly,” Luz smiled at her, and Anne smiled back.
Toadstool: Anne, what are you doing? You're throwing it all away? Now how am I supposed to convince these idiots to vote for me?
“Busted~!” Candace and Vanessa cheered before laughing together.
“Ha! He ratted himself out!” Wendy laughed.
The crowd turns on Toadstool.
“Justice is sweet,” Candace grinned.
Anne: Thanks for sticking with me, even when the attention got to my head.
Hop Pop: Just remember to do the same when I'm rich and famous.
Polly: Never happening.
The audience laughed but Hop Pop just scoffed.
“Shows what you know.”
Funnily enough he did become famous when he starred in that commercial. Even if it was brief.
All is well now, with Anne moving back in. But not before they decide to go to her room in Town Hall and try out the hot tub before they change the locks.
“Ooh, that hot tub sounds nice,” Mabel said.
“It sure was,” Sprig grinned. “Hey, what’s the next episode?”
“Sprig Vs. Hop Pop.”
The young frog blanched.
“Oh~. This won’t be good.”
Sprig Vs. Hop Pop
Anne, Sprig and Polly are plucking up weeds from the vegetable field. Sprig sees two cowapillars grazing and gets the idea to train them to eat the weeds.
“That is a good idea. It might be challenging, but it could work,” Baljeet said.
“Thank you!”
Hop Pop tells him to put it in the suggestion barrel.
Sprig: Suggestion 89…
“That’s a lot of suggestions,” Gus noted.
Anne: Hey, think he actually reads these?
Polly: Doubt it. I suggested a swimming pool months ago and that never happened.
“Wait, how many of those suggestions were implemented?” Candace questioned, her tone laced with suspicion.
“You’re about to find out,” Anne responded.
Sprig tells them to have a little more faith in Hop Pop. But as he removes his hand from the suggestion barrel, he knocks it over, revealing it’s actually a fire pit!
Everyone’s jaws dropped at the reveal.
“What the heck?!”
“Busted,” Candace said. “I knew there was something off here!”
“HA HA HA! Wow! That’s even better than what I was doing. Bravo, Plantar,” Stan laughed.
“Please don’t praise me,” Hopediah frowned.
Sprig: Why, Hop Pop?! Wh-h-h-h-h-hy?!
Hop Pop: Because your suggestions were ridiculous! You can't just dig swimming pools anywhere. It attracts pests. Running a farm ain't easy, kids.
“That’s a valid point, but you should still listen to peers. My friends have good ideas all the time,” Phineas countered.
“I know that now,” Hop Pop nodded.
Sprig says that if he ran the farm, he’d at least listen to people’s suggestions. Hop Pop laughs that he’d run it into the ground.
“He’s kinda right, Sprig,” Mabel said, remembering how hard it was to be a boss.
“I have to agree with Mabel. Adult life is complicated,” Luz agreed, remembering the body swap.
The two then enlarge their vocal sacks in each other’s faces.
Polly: [ gasps ] Is that an official challenge?
Sprig runs past Hop Pop and climbs up a tall pole with a large bell. He starts hollering as he rings the bell repeatedly and jumps back.
“What is happening right now?” Gretchen wondered aloud.
“I think it’s some kind of duel thing,” Soos said.
Polly: Sprig Plantar, you have rung the Plantar Family Challenge bell! What is your challenge?
Sprig wants to replace Hop Pop as head of the farm. Hop Pop accepts.
“Yes! Seize the power!” Doofenshmirtz cheered.
“Five snails on the kid,” Eda said.
“Pass. I have a feeling he’ll win,” Stan shook his head.
Anne: I'm sure this will make sense in a moment.
The girls are sitting on a log next to a small bell. They are watching Hop Pop and Sprig wearing loincloths and slather mud on themselves atop a large lily pad in a marsh.
Anne: Never mind. What the heck's going on?!
The audience snickered at that.
Sprig and Hop Pop explain the Plantar Family Challenge.
Polly: They push each other until someone falls off a lily pad. It's dumb, but fun to watch.
“Anyone else getting Black Panther flashbacks?” Gus asked to Luz and Willow.
“What are you talking about?” Candace questioned.
“Oh, they make a Black Panther movie in 2018,” Luz answered.
“And it’s awesome,” Willow added.
Candace let out an excited shriek.
“A scuffle, eh?” King smirked. “Sounds fun.”
Anne: Has Sprig ever won?
Sprig: I've won in spirit.
Anne: So, no.
“In think results are more important here, Kid,” Wendy said.
Polly: Enough chit chat. Let the challenge... (She strikes the bell with her tail.) BEGIN!
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan cheered.
“Go Sprig!” the kids cheered.
“Aw, look how cute you are, being all formal and stuff,” Luz gushed.
The two begin to try to knock each other over. Hop Pop clearly has the advantage and is close to beating Sprig.
“Oof! Not looking good,” Doofenshmirtz said.
Perry chattered.
“Well, how do you think he’ll win this?”
Hop Pop: [laughs] Give it up, boy! I've got the experience and the upper body strength.
Sprig: Oh, yeah? Well, I've got the moral high ground.
And he uses Hop Pop’s own weight to push him over the edge. Sprig won and is now head of the farm!
“Oh. That makes sense. Way to go! Yuo took over your farm! That’s more than I ever did.”
“Ha! Nice job, Kid,” Stan praised.
“Yeah ha! Way to go, Spring!” Dipper cheered.
Perry and King gave him thumbs up. Sprig smiled at all the praise.
Hop Pop: Looks like my time is over.
And he heads off into the tall grass.
“Where are you going?” Eda questioned.
“You’ll see.”
The kids head back home, the girls cheering Sprig’s name.
Sprig: First order of business. As long as I'm in charge, no suggestions are bad.
“Um, that’s not…” Phineas began.
“I know. Some suggestions are bad. I learned that the hard way.”
He approves Polly’s swimming pool, and Anne idea for a dance party happens immediately.
Time to see how he handles being a boss, Mabel thought.
A montage plays of Sprig running the farm. It’s actually going pretty well… That is until they make a hole in the wall and Polly beats up the clown they hired.
The audience winced at the scene. Except for Eda. She just laughed.
“Ha!” That a girl! I hate clowns too,” Eda laughed.
Other than that though, there’s now a waterslide and a pool. And training the cowapillars seems to be working.
“Hmm. Not bad, boy,” Hop Pop praised. “I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge.”
“Thanks, Hop Pop.
Anne: Uh, anybody worried about Hop Pop? I haven't seen him since we got back.
Sprig: Eh, he's probably off licking his wounds.
A skull is now shown on screen.
Everyone jumped at the image on screen.
“Wait, you’re not dead,” Tambry reminded herself.
Hop Pop marches into the Wartwood Cemetery to be with the other frogs nobody needs anymore.
“This world is dark,” Stacy said.
“Hop Pop, we didn’t want you gone. We just want things to be fair,” Anne told him.
“I may have jumped it as you say,” he winced.
He soon befriends a beatle he names Jeremy.
“I like him,” Candace smiled.
“And that;s not because he has your crush’s name,” Wendy quirked a brow, making her blush.
The kids get hungry and look for food in the kitchen, only to find empty cupboards. This must be when Hop Pop usually goes to the grocery store.
“And here’s the downside,” Luz said.
Sprig grabs the beatroots they grow. Unfortunately he forgot to check for pests, and it attacks them.
Anne: I'm beginning to think there's a few things we don't know about running a farm.
“Oh, yeah!” Mabel nodded. “Man, this is just like when I became boss,” she whispered to her twin.
“No, this is worse. Survival wasn’t on the line with us,” Dipper responded.
Sprig reminds them that they like being listened to. That’s when the myriapod attacks again.
Sprig: Don't let it touch me! DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!!
Everyone winced in sympathy.
“I shouldn;t have been so quick to leave,” Hop Pop sighed.
The next morning, all three gasp in horror as they see three large grotesque mosquitoes drink the dirtied swimming pool and laying eggs. The clown sitting on a log with three cowapillars below trying to eat him. The vegetable field decays with flies everywhere. Sprig, Anne and Polly are wincing to each other with the fiery flag comes crashing down behind them.
“Well, I think we can consider this endeavor a failure,” Baljeet spoke matter of factly.
“Ya think?” Candace deadpanned.
Sprig: I've called this meeting today for obvious reasons.
Anne: The farm is ruined
Polly: We have no food and we'll die!
“Couldn’t hae said it better,” Eda nodded.
Sprig asks for suggestions on how to fix things.
Anne and Polly: Let's find Hop Pop and put him back in charge.
Sprig’s chalk snaps in half while he writes.
“Ooh, you don’t like that,” Luz winced.
“Yeah, I was still feeling pretty betrayed,” Sprig replied.
Sprig: Hopediah Plantar was a tyrant!
The girls don’t care at this point.
“Security over freedom. The biggest coin flip there is,” Dipper mentioned.
Sprig though is not having any of it, so he decides they need a break. Anne and Polly use it to go find Hop Pop. Meanwhile, Hop Pop has become a full fledged member of Jeremy’s community.
“Aw, that’s nice,” Mabel smiled at the screen.
“Yep, Jeremy became a good friend that day,” Hop Pop smiled.
Maybe I can convince Gary into freeing him?
The girls arrive.
Hop Pop: Hello, girls. You here to help us scavenge? It's gonna be a long, cold winter. More bodies means more warmth for everyone.
“What is wrong with your world?!” everyone screamed.
“That’s just with the beatles,” Hop Pop admitted.
“But you were very ready to join in,” Vanessa gave him a pointed look.
They explain that Sprig’s ruining the farm and they’ve been eating raw potatoes.
Polly: I'm having digestive strife, Hop Pop. DIGESTIVE! STRIFE!!
Eda wasn;t sure if she should laugh at that one or not.
Hop Pop: I've got me a new life among the beetles. They've taught me about community, equality, listening.
Anne: Sprig sleeps in your bed now.
Hop Pop: HE WHAT ?!?
The audience laughed.
“Well, that was easy,” Gus said.
Sprig strikes a pose, wondering where those “ungrateful kids” ran off. Hop Pop comes in doing a superhero landing.
Hop Pop: I have returned.
“Holy cow, what an entrance,” Luz praised.
Perry nodded in agreement.
Sprig calls out their treachery and Hop Pop challenges him for control of the farm. Forever. He accepts and they’re back at the lily pad.
“Wow. To think that just a few minutes ago we were rooting for Sprig,” Phineas said.
“Life gets complicated fast,” Ferb replied.
Polly: Let the final challenge begin!
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan said, earning chuckles from the others.
As the two battle it out, Hop Pop tries to reason with him.
Hop Pop: Even if you win, you lose.
“That was just a cool line, dudes!” Soos gasped.
Sprig says he doesn’t want to go back to not being listened to, and Hop Pop admits he was wrong.
“Wow. Character growth,” Willow observed. “And pretty quick too.”
“Losing was good for me,” Hopediah nodded.
“This is so similar yet so different to what we did,” Mabel whispered.
“I know, right?” her twin responded.
Sprig: You... You mean it? I have to admit, most of my ideas were pretty terrible. I think we even caused permanent damage to the ecosystem.
“Yeesh! That’s an exaggeration, right?” Isabella asked
Sprig shook his head.
“Want us to take a look at it? We could fix a few things you missed,” Phineas offered.
“That’s a good idea. Just to be sure,” Hop Pop nodded.
Hop Pop: Yeah, but some of your ideas could work. We'll never know unless we try. I promise from now on to actually read your suggestions.
“Aw,” Luz and Mabel cooed.
“This’ll be good. Wisdom of the old and ideas of the new,” the Witch smiled.
Seeing that he means it, Sprig throws the match, falling backwards into the mud.
The audience couldn;t help but laugh.
“Dramatic much?” Candace snickered.
Sprig just shrugged.
With everyone back on the farm, Hop Pop is finally listening to everyone. He gives Anne shade and Polly her own small pool. She rises out like a shark and eats a bug.
There were more laughs at Polly’s actions.
“Never change Polly. Never change,” Anne smiled at her sister.
And there’s no more pit of fire. Sprig hug him.
“Well, at least you’re not burning them anymore…” Mabel began.
Later that night, Jeremy and the other beatles are giving Hop Pop the suggestions at the fireplace. The ones he doesn’t like he throws into the flames.
Hop Pop: Thank you, Jeremy. Hmm. Nope. Hmm. Nope. Hmm. This one's a maybe.
Everyone either had dropped jaws or was laughing.
“…Nevermind.”
“Do you have to keep burning them?!” Sprig exclaimed.
“Probably not,” he admitted.
“Time for the next one.”
“What is it?” Anne asked.
“Girl Time.”
Anne just groaned.
Gsv tilfk lu Xlhnrx Yvrmth, zmw klhhryov ufgfiv lmv, dviv mlg wlrmt hl tllw irtsg mld. Gsv Zclolgo pvkg srh svzw yldvw rm wrhzkklrmgnvmg. Gsv Tfziwrzm szw xfiovw srnhvou fk rmgl z yzoo gl gib zmw slow lu zm zmcrvgb zggzxp. Wvzgs dzh hrtsrmt drgs srh vbvh xolhvw zh sv ovzmvw lm srh xzmv. Svrma dzh gsv dlihg lu zoo. Sv dzh hvzgvw zdzb uiln gsv lgsvih, sfttrmt srh pmvvh zmw qfhg hgzirmt luu rmgl gsv wrhgzmxv.
Rm gsv yzxptilfmw dzh gsv ivzhlm uli gsvri wvhkzri:
(“R’oo svok blf yirmt zylfg Dvriwnztvwwlm yb yfrowrmt blf z mvd ylwb. Rm vcxszmtv, blf’oo svok nv ivxlmjfvi gsv Gir-Hgzgv Zivz. Dsrxs droo ivnzrm xlnkovgvob fmglfxsvw,” Svrma hzrw.
“Yfwwb, blf qfhg uivvw nv uiln gsv Gsvizkirhn. Blf xzm szev gszg hnzoo krvxv lu gsrh nfwyzoo uli zoo R xziv,” Xrksvi ozftsvw.
“Hl, blf ztivv?” Xsziovmv zhpvw.
“Hfiv. Rg’h z WVZO!”
Sv luuvivw srh szmw, toldrmt drgs yofv uriv.
Wllu 2 wrwm’g svhrgzgv lmv yrg zmw hsllp rg.)
Vzmpr szw z hzw uildm zh sv gllp gsv hxvmv rm.
“R pmld gsrh rh yzw. Gsrh rh ivzoob yzw,” gsv Grgzm yvtzm. “Yfg gszg’h dsb R yilftsg blf zoo sviv. Hl gszg dv nzb svok wvuvzg Yroo lmxv zmw uli zoo.”
“Blf pmld gsv ifovh, low uirvmw,” gsv Tfziwrzm hklpv fk hzwob. “Xlhnrx Yvrmth ziv mlg zooldvw gl rmgviuviv rm gsv orevh lu nligzoh. Gsv yvhg R xzm wl rm gsv uzxv lu gsrh xzoznrgb rh gib gl pvvk gsvhv gdl fmrevihvh zorev. Zmw R’oo kilyzyob uzro.”
“...Yfg dv xzm tfrwv gsvn gldziwh gsv irtsg kzgs,” gsv nzhhrev znksryrzm kvipvw fk.
“Bvh,” Vzmpr klrmgvw zg srn drgs vnkszhrh. “Zmw gszg rh dszg dv ziv wlrmt mld. Dsb gsvb szev yvvm hfnnlmvw. R zn kivkzirmt gsvn uli dszg orvh zsvzw.”
“Yfg dsb gsv Ldo Slfhv zmw Znksryrz?” Wvzgs jfvhgrlmvw. “R fmwvihgzmw gszg gsvb ziv jfrgv hproovw, yfg dszg’h gsvri xlmmvxgrlm gl Xrksvi?”
“Rg’h mlg Yroo Xrksvi.”
Gsv lgsvih gfimvw gl hvv rg dzh Kiluvhhli Grnv. Gsrh dzh gsv urihg grnv sv’w hzrw zmbgsrmt hrmxv srh sliirurvw hxivzn vziorvi.
“Dszg wl blf nvzm?” gsv xzg zhpvw.
Gsv nzm hgllw fk zmw uzxvw gsvn zoo tirnob.
“Ru nb ezirzmg szh gvznvw fk drgs Yroo, gsvm gszg nvzmh sv nfhg szev ivxifrgvw lgsvi eroozrmh gll.”
Gsvri vbvh drwvmvw zmw gsvb gfimvw gl Vzmpr gl hvv srn mlwwrmt hzwob.
“Sv’h irtsg.”
Gsv dliwh dvrtsvw svzerob lm veviblmv uli z olmt dsrov, mlmv hzbrmt z dliw.
“Dszg szkkvmh mld?” gsv Tirn Ivzkvi zhpvw.
“Dv pvvk dzgxsrmt,” Vzmpr zmhdvivw. “Blf mvvw gl pmld qfhg dszg dv zmw lfi tfvhgh droo yv fk ztzrmhg. Gl wl gszg blf’oo szev gl hvv gsv dslov hglib.”
“Sld yzw rh rg?” gsv Zclolgo rmjfrivw.
Gsv Grgzm hrtsvw.
“Gsrh gzov rh uroovw drgs svzigyivzp, tirvu, giztvwb, olhh, zmw xlmhgzmg wvuvzg rm z dzi fmorpv zmb lgsvi...” sv yvtzm, lmob xlmurinrmt gsv tilfk’h uvzih. “...Yfg gsviv rh zohl olev, qlb, zmw nlhg rnkligzmgob, slkv. Zmw gszg rh yvxzfhv lu ylmwh ulitvw gszg nzpv gsv dslov gsrmt dligs rg. Zmw rg rh gslhv hznv ylmwh R zn gibrmt gl ivxivzgv sviv. Rm z szkkrvi dliow dsviv gsvhv kvlkov wlm’g szev gl nvvg lm gsv yzggovurvow. Dsviv gsvb xzm szev xlnkovgv gifhg zmw uzrgs rm lmv zmlgsvi, zmw trev gsvri vevibgsrmt gl pvvk vzxs lgsvi hzuv.”
Gsv tilfk dzh hrovmg uli z nrmfgv.
Zmw gsvm gsviv dzh gsv hlfmw lu Wllu zmw Wvzgs urinob gzkkrmt gsvri xzmv’h lm gsv uolli.
“Gsvm ovg’h hglk dzhgrmt grnv,” gsv uilt hklpv drgs wvgvinrmzgrlm.
“Hsld nv sld R xzm pvvk nb wzftsgvi hzuv,” Svrma zwwvw.
Gsv Tfziwrzm zmw Zclolgo mlwwvw rm ztivvnvmg, nzprmt gsv Grgzm hnrov.
“Ovg’h yvtrm.”
Zmw gsv hxivvm yvtzm gl hsld gsv ivhg lu gsv hglib.
Notes:
I keep forgetting, thanks to GeekSquad24B, this story has a tvtropes page! I clearly don't have time to work on it, but you do. Here's the link: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/WatchingTheCipherVerse
I'm really excited to get to Dating Season. I don't want to spoil anything since it'll be a big deal, but let's just say it's gonna be GREAT!
We're only a few chapters from the next break and it is gonna be a good one.
1) What interactions would you like to see then?
2) What songs do you have in mind?
3) What activities could they do? I'm already planning on the Shack Party and Wailing Star. Are there any I'm missing?
4) What theories do you have for the codes?
Progress Tracker:
Summaries: 3/3
Reaction: 2/3
Code: 1/1
Should be ready by tomorrow!
Chapter 15: Life on Plantar Farm: Part 2
Notes:
So, I finally finished Star vs the Forces of Evil and Kim Possible. Great shows! Both of them. As for the ending of Star... I'm honestly not bothered by it. I know that's an outspoken opinion, but I'm fine with it. I'll admit that it felt a bit rushed, but I still had fun. Did Star make the best decision? I don't know. The only decision? Yes. The moment I saw the army of Solarian Warriors, I was completely okay with Star destroying the magic (I already knew it would happen in advance). There was just no other way to win.
But enough about my opinions on that. The important thing is I've come up with the perfect way to incorporate SVFE into the lore of this fic that will make everyone happy. And even into the sequel once this one is done. If you want to know the details, I recommend you either sole this chapter's code or read someone else's translation in the comment.
Anyways, let's watch some Amphibia! I think you'll find a certain character's reaction very satisfying. ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Girl Time
Anne continued to bury her head in her hands and groan.
“You okay, Anne?” Luz asked.
“I’m not happy with how I was in this episode,” she explained.
“Hey, you already apologized for this,” Polly said.
“Wait, is this gonna be like Dipper vs. Manliness but in reverse?” Mabel questioned.
“Pretty much.”
The family is relaxing on the back porch where Sprig and Hop Pop are having a spitting competition.
Anne: Just when I thought you guys couldn't get any nastier.
“That is so gross,” Tambry pulled a face.
“Yeah,” Candace agreed.
“Nah, this is nothing,” Wendy dismissed.
Hop Pop: Nasty? Why, spitting is practically a sport in Wartwood.
Sprig: We even have a town record. Whoever breaks the record gets a trophy.
“That sounds interesting,” Phineas said sincerely.
“Seriously?” his sister questions both Phineas and the frogs.
“Oh, yeah,” Sprig nodded happily.
“I’m honestly not surprised,” Vanessa shrugged.
Anne can’t believe their exposing Polly to all this-
Polly: THAT RECORD IS MINE!
Polly’s spit blast lands on the crab across the pond!
Silence filled the room as everyone looked on in shock.
“…Nope. Still not surprised,” Vanessa shook her head.
“Ha ha ha ha! That a girl!” Eda praised, ruffling the top of the pollywog’s head.
“Dang, dude! That’s some good distance right there,” Wendy smirked.
As the boys congratulate her, Anne notices just how gross they are.
“Why did you put that in your pocket?!” Tambry barely screamed.
“Ew! Just ew!” Candace added.
“Okay, even I don’t do that, and that’s saying something,” Dipper pointed out.
Hop Pop just looked away.
Suddenly very worried about their influence on Polly, Anne decides to give her girl time, and the two leave with Hop Pop’s wallet.
Polly: Where are you taking me, crazy lady?!
The audience laughed at Polly’s words.
“But seriously, there’s nothing wrong with a girl acting like this,” Eda chided.
“Amen,” Wendy agreed.
“Yeah, Polly was right. I was acting crazy,” Anne admitted.
Hop Pop: Not sure what she wants with my wallet, not like I got any money.
The parents blinked before turning to the grandfather in concern.
“Plantar… how much were you all struggling?” Stan asked, making the farmer sigh.
“We were living crop-to-crop. Every cent we made was going into paying the bills.”
Anne explains that they need girl time and it take a bit, but she manages to convince Polly to give it a shot. They start their day at… the spa. Much to Polly’s boredom.
“I love the spa!” Stacy beamed. “Remember the one your brother made?”
“How could I forget? It was one of the most relaxing days in the whole summer,” Candace smiled.
“You four have been to a spa? Lucky,” Tambry crossed her arms.
“I’ve always wanted to try the sona,” Thompson mentioned.
“I’ve had warm coals on my back before. That was nice,” Eda added.
Anne uses Hop Pop’s I.O.U.’s to pay for the fanciest treatments.
Stan couldn’t help but chuckle. It reminded him of his Stanbucks.
After convincing Polly, a montage plays of the two. When the koi fish kiss Anne’s feet, Polly rides one.
That got a few laughs and cheers.
“A rodeo! Nice,” Isabella laughed.
When they get haircuts, she uses combs as throwing knives.
“Huh. I never realized combs could be used as weapons,” Gus said.
“Yeah. Same with some jewelry,” Stacy mentioned.
“Jewelry and beauty products that can be used as weapons are the best,” Eda nodded.
“That’s a nice hair salon,” Candace praised.
Polly can’t even move in her dress and wigg.
“Sorry, Polly,” Anne winced. “I should have realized you were uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay, Anne. And hey, you look great in your dress,” the pollywog praised.
“Yeah, girl. You’re looking really pretty,” Mabel added.
The others nodded in agreement.
“Aw. Thanks, guys.”
Meanwhile, in the Amphibia room, Sasha and Marcy were staring at on-screen Anne with bright blushes..
“Uh… wow,” Marcy said, pink dusting her cheeks.
“Yeah… she looks really good,” Sasha spoke, transfixed.
Now they’re at Felicia’s Shoppe eating scones. Polly complains about it not being exciting.
“It may be boring, but those scones look great! What’s in them?” King asked.
Anne: Excuse me, madam, what kind of scone is this?
Felicia: Oh, those are dung beetle.
Everyone except the frogs pulled a face.
“Nevermind,” King groaned.
Felicia recommends they get a full body massage. Anne immediately takes a liking to the idea since she used to get “massages” back home.
“I love massage chairs!” Phineas said brightly.
“They really are the best, aren’t they?” Anne smirked.
Polly wants to pass and work on her spitting distance.
Anne: (gasps) Polly Plantar, I am not giving up on you. If there's one thing that will fix you, it's a massage!
“Fix her?” Eda questioned. “This little girl is perfect just the way she is.”
“Yeah!” Grenada agreed.
“There’s nothing wrong with her here,” Wendy frowned at Anne.
“She’s cool!” King cheered.
“Sure, she’s messy, but that’s what makes her strong,” Vanessa pressed.
Polly smiled at all the support she was getting.
“I know, guys,” Anne sighed deeply. “I was being a real idiot. And this wasn’t even the worst part.”
Felicia takes a closer look at the IOU, suspicious. She looks over to the cashier counter with a mugshot of Hop Pop on the wall with the words "Definitely Not Good for It!" written on the frame.
Felicia: Someone get the Constable!
“Uh oh,” the audience went.
“That’s not good,” Stan said before grinning. “And what do you know? You’ve got a few scams of your own, Plantar.”
“Say what?! This wasn’t a scam! Not intentionally anyway.”
The girls meet Tuti, the town healer and part time bounty hunter.
Polly: I like her.
Everyone chuckled at that.
“Of course you do,” Candace rolled her eyes fondly.
“Well, she’s intense,” Gus observed.
“Buford would like her too,” Baljeet said.
“Oh yeah,” Isabella nodded.
Anne: Are you sure you know how to massage a human?
Tuti: Is same.
No, it is not.
Polly: Whoa, mama.
Everyone collectively winced at the display of pain.
“Oof!” Stan said.
“Ouch!” Heinz added.
“Yeah, okay,” Gus continued.
“Ow,” Willow frowned.
“Oh geese,” Luz finished.
“They’re not the same. Definitely not the same!” Dipper shook his head.
Anne: (eyes watering) This is amazing. So... relaxing. Is that my foot?
Polly: And on that note, I'm out.
“Yeah, I’d bail too,” Mabel said.
“You continue to show that you’re the smartest character in your show,” Eda nodded at the tadpole’s actions
Tuti tells Anne that Polly ditched her, so she runs out to find her. Just as the frog is inspecting the IOU, the Sheriff arrives with an angry mob.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Afternoon, Tuti. Wonderin' if you've seen a couple of ol' scammers handing out these fake IOUs today.
“Ouch. That’s quite the angry mob you got there,” Stan observed. “Wait, you’re not about to get run out of town, are you?”
“Thankfully, no,” Anne answered.
“That’s good to know. I’ve been run out of enough towns to know how bad it is.”
Tuti: Scammers? Fake?! (She smashes the table) Come. I lead way.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Fiery as ever, Tuti.
A beat of silence passed.
“On second thought, getting run out of town doesn’t sound so bad,” Stan immediately rescinded his previous comment.
“Yeah, I’d want to stay away from her,” Baljeet nodded.
“Far away,” Stacy agreed.
Wally and Polly and drinking and let out loud burps. Polly wins.
Wally: Dang, kid. You got the burp of a titan!
The group from the Owl House laughed at that comment. The Clawthornes especially.
“A titan, huh?” King snickered.
“Ha ha! Yeah. I guess you guys would know a thing about that, huh?” Poll laughed.
More than you think, he thought.
“Not bad, Kid,” Wendy praised. “But you’re not the only one who let ‘er rip.”
The redhead then proceeded to down an entire bottle of Pitt Cola in an instant. She waited one moment before…
“BUURRRRP!”
That got a few laughs as Wendy’s friends cheered her name.
“WENDY! WENDY! WENDY!”
“Oh, it’s on!” Polly grinned before chugging her drink.
“BUUURRRRRP!”
“That’s my girl!” Hop Pop bragged.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Eda cut in sternly, ending everyone’s laughter. “That’s not how you act.”
The Witch’s own group gave her puzzled looks.
Then she grinned.
“This is!”
Then the Clawthorne gulped down her apple blood.
“BUUUUURRRRRRRRP!”
“That makes more sense,” Gus nodded.
“Oh, yeah,” Willow agreed.
“She wins,” Wendy and Polly both said at once.
The three burpers then laughed together happily.
“I think I’ve found my people,” Polly beamed.
Anne arrives much to Polly’s annoyance.
Anne: What the heck, dude? You ditched me? And now I find you rubbing elbows with the local deadbeat?
Wally: That hurt me soul.
There were a few painful laughs at that.
Polly: Well, at least this guy doesn't waste my time with stuff I think is stupid and boring!
Anne: (gasps) Well, excuse me for trying to make you less of a disgusting little slob! (gasps)
The audience gasped at what was said.
“That’s harsh, Anne,” Mabel chastised.
“Just because she’s not stereotypically girly doesn’t mean she’s a slob,” Isabella frowned.
“Dude. Not cool,” Wendy glared.
“THAT WAS MEAN, GIRL!” Grenada barked.
Anne sighed guilty and bowed her head.
“I know,” Boonchuy said, her shame clear for everyone to see.
Polly, Wally, and even Anne are stunned, but before she can apologize, Tuti pins her.
Tuti: Tuti caught thief!
“Ugh! That happened at the worst possible time!” Anne groaned loudly.
Anne: Wait, what do you mean "thief"? I totally paid.
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Sorry, little lady, but Hopediah's broke. Which makes these IOUs you've been handing out totally worthless.
Sprig and Hop Pop are revealed to be in handcuffs.
Everyone gasped in surprise.
“Oh, boy. This is bad. This is very bad,” Baljeet said worriedly.
Sprig: These chains represent our burden on society!
“Pfft! Ha ha ha ha!” the audience went, very gratefully for the frog’s characteristically upbeat tone.
Either they pay up or they have to collect eggs for the town.
“That’s not so bad,” Candy said.
“Yeah. What’s the worst that can happen?” Gretchen questioned.
The coop is filled with giant spiders.
“Right. I keep forgetting that Amphibia is a world filled with violent monsters,” the Fireside girl stated flatly.
As they’re being shoved in, Anne sees the spitting trophy and realizes that if Polly wins, they can pay off the debt.
“That’s brilliant!” Heinz praised.
“Go for it, girl!” Wendy cheered.
“Now’s your time to shine,” Isabella smiled.
Everyone gathers to see the outcome. Polly gets three chances.
“You’ve got this, Polly!” everyone cheered her on.
Polly spits once. She’s close, but not enough.
“Dang. Really close for your first try,” Luz nodded.
Polly spits again. She’s lost some distance.
“Huh?” many questioned.
“Something’s off,” Stacy noticed.
Hop Pop: Something ain't right. She's not spitting at full force. Almost as if she's ashamed.
“Oh. That makes sense.”
Anne: Yeah, and I think I know why. (Kneels down to Polly) Hey, you okay?
Polly: Yeah. I guess it's just kinda hard to spit when you feel gross.
The audience frowned in sympathy.
“Tell me you fixed this,” Wendy practically demanded of Anne.
“I did.”
Anne: (sighs) Polly, I'm the gross one. I tried to change someone that's perfect the way they are.
There were smiles at that.
“There we go,” Wendy smiled.
“That’s more like it,” Eda agreed.
Polly: You saying you were wrong?
Anne: Very wrong.
Polly: Super wrong?
Anne: Super wrong.
Polly: You're always wrong?
Anne: I'm always--Hey, not always.
The audience laughed at the exchange.
They settle on most of the time and hug.
“Aw~,” many went at the sweet moment.
“I’m proud to have you as my little sister, Anne smiled down at her. Polly smiled back.
Her confidence restored, Polly spits with so much power that she wins!
“Woah!” many exclaimed.
“That broke through the sign!” Baljeet cried.
“Way to go, Polly!” Wendy, Eda, King and all the Fireside Girls cheered.
They split the trophy to pay the debts and are given extra.
Polly: Wow.
“I was so proud in that moment,” Hop Pop wiped a tear away.
“Was that because she won, or that she kept you out of prison?” Vanessa questioned.
“Both.”
Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf: Well, your debt is repaid and my work here is done.
And he hops off into the sunset.
“How about that? An honest cop,” Stan observed.
“Sheriff Buck Leatherleaf is as honest as they come,” Hop Pop praised.
“Anyone else think that exit was pretty cool?” Mabel asked.
Sprig: So what are we gonna do with the extra gold?
Anne: I think I have an idea.
They make a new trophy in Polly’s image. She loves it!
“Oh, that’s just perfect!” Grenda beamed.
“Now no one will forget you were the one who broke the record,” Phineas noted.
“Doesn’t look like anyone will forget anytime soon,” Sprig began. “That trophy’s still there. No one’s been able to beat it.”
Polly apologizes for girl time being a bust. Anne says that she’s starting to think the idea of girl time is weird. Who says boys can’t enjoy spas too. Sprig and Hop Pop immediately prove her right by talking about how much they love the spa.
“Next time, you’re taking the two of us with ya,” Hop Pop said.
“You got it, HP,” Anne gave him a finger gun.
“So, Anne? Did you learn your lesson?” Eda asked sternly.
“I did,” she nodded. “I never should have been so pushy towards Polly. And I definitely shouldn’t have called her a slob. It was cruel of me.”
“Hey, you’ve already made up for this,” Polly placed a nub on her hand.
“Glad we’re good,” Anne smiled.
“Hey, look at this,” Ginger got everyone’s attention. She was looking down at the Fireside Girl Handbook. “There’s actually a patch for spitting.”
And with that, siad patch appeared in Polly’s nub. The little pollywog gazed at it in awe.
“Time for the next one. I think you’ll find it very enlightening,” they could hear the host’s smirk.
Dating Season
“Dating Season? Does that mean we’re getting some romance?!” Mabel squealed in delight.
“We can’t answer that,” Sprig evaded with a smile. Ivy’s finally coming in!
Anne and Sprig are on a stroll through the woods, and she is not enjoying nature like he is.
“Man, I’ve really toughened up since then,” Anne chuckled.
“When do you start getting comfortable with nature?” Candace asked.
“Season 2. You?”
“Season 3.”
Africa was very good for her.
They see movement in the bushes and Sprig approaches carefully. What he finds is a dummy.
Sprig: Oh, no. It's an–
Ivy: Ambush!
Ivy jumps in and tackles him.
“An assassin has come to kill you!” King cried.
“What? No no no, that’s not what’s happening at all,” Sprig shook his head. “Though, she could do it if she wanted to. Just finish me off and bury my body where it’ll never be found,” he praised fondly.
“Kid, you worry me sometimes,” Stan admitted.
Sprig: Hey, Ivy. Nice ambush. Gourd in a wig? Classic.
Ivy: (chuckles) Can't take all the credit. You're really easy to trick.
That earned a few snickers.
“I like her,” Isabella said.
Sprig: Anne, meet Ivy. Childhood acquaintance and occasional sparring partner.
He throws a punch she blocks, then she kicks him in the face causing him to grunt. He recovers and laughs.
The snickers continued.
“She’s quick,” Ginger nodded in appreciation.
“Wait, Sprig? I thought you said in the first episode that kids in your town didn’t get you?” Willow asked in confusion.
“Ivy and I only recently rekindled our friendship,” Sprig explained. “We stopped hanging out for a few years after… actually, that’s a spoiler.”
The Amphibia group’s moods soured and their faces fell. The rest of the audience exchanged concerned looks but decided to remain silent.
Ivy: Hey, I've seen you around. Nice to officially meet. Do you like being randomly attacked?
Anne: Not at all.
The snickers continued.
“Girl’s got guts,” Wendy nodded, pleased.
Ivy: See you later, Sprig. But you won't see me.
“Oh, I really like her!” Isabella beamed. “When can I meet her?” She turned to the door.
It didn’t open.
“She’s joining us, right?”
“We can’t answer that,” Sprig said.
Anne: Well, well, well. She's kinda cute, huh?
Sprig: I don't know what you're talking about.
Anne: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
Sprig: You're being weird, Anne.
Everyone cackled at the scene. All except for one.
“Is there something I’m not seeing here? Anne is being weird,” Phineas said, confused.
“Oh, sweet oblivious Phineas,” Mabel shook her head. “These two clearly have a vibe going on.”
“A romantic one,” Luz smiled excitedly.
“What? No, that doesn’t make any sense. They’re friends,” the triangle headed boy responded.
What he didn’t notice however, was that his words made Isabella frown deeply.
They arrive home and Hop Pop demands to know where they’ve been.
Anne: Oh, nothing. Except Sprig was totally flirting with a cute girl!
“You certainly didn’t waste any time,” Willow giggled.
“How could I? This was too juicy!” Anne beamed.
Hop Pop is delighted. And when Sprig tries to say he and Ivy Sundew are just friends, he runs off to get the courtship kit the moment he hears her name. Anne leaves to get her dating magazines.
Polly: I don't actually care.
Polly's attitude made the audience laugh.
“Wow, you guys got invested faster than Mabel,” Dipper noted.
“I’ll take that as a compliment!” his sister chirped brightly.
“Don’t you guys think you’re reading into things too much?” Phineas questioned, still doubtful.
“Nope,” literally everyone responded.
“Okay, I get why Anne is interested, but what’s your reason, Plantar?” Eda asked the old frog.
“Oh. Ah, well…” Hopediah tried to loosen his collar a bit, suddenly feeling very hot.
The Firefly Formal is tonight, and it’s the perfect opportunity to ritual dance. Only frogs in the ceremonial garb are allowed to be wed.
“That’s an interesting cultural tradition,” Gus noted. “Do you guys have something similar in the Human Realm?”
“In India there’s this ceremony from the Bengal region called the Ashirbad where they meet at the bride's home that involves receiving blessings from elders,” Baljeet answered. “Another tradition is that henna is painted on the bride’s hands and feet the night before the wedding.”
“In Korea, where my family’s from, we have the Paebaek. The couple offers wine to their parents and receives blessings,” Candy added.
“My family has el lazo from Mexico,” Isabella began. “It’s wrapping a lasso around the couple’s shoulders. I’m also Jewish, so the groom breaks glass by stomping on it.”
“For my wedding, Charlene and I did this German tradition of shattering porcelain dishes. You throw the dishes on the ground to ward off evil spirits and clean up the pieces together. It’s about being able to face any challenge when you’re together,” Heinz spoke.
“In Thai culture we have Rod Nam Sang. It’s where the guests pour blessed water from a conch shell over the couple’s hands.”
“The only one I can think of for America is the groom asking for the father of the bride’s permission,” Luz said.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much the case for most western countries,” Dipper nodded.
“Oh, and the dowry. It varies from different cultures with which side of the new family receives it,” she added to her previous statement.
“What about you guys? What do you Witches do?” Dipper asked curiously.
“Anything love related is a lot looser than it is in your world,” Eda started. “But we do have this one tradition where couples exchange jewelry as a sign of further committing to the relationship.”
“Aw. That sweet,” Mabel gushed.
Luz immediately blushed and smiled sweetly at the thought of wearing Amity’s necklace one day.
Sprig: Guys! We're just friends. Besides, I'm already engaged to Maddie, right? She gave me this nifty ring.
The ring is an eerie skull with glowing red eye sockets.
“Well, that’s disturbing,” Vanessa said.
“I know, right?” her father agreed.
Hop Pop: Forget her! The Sundews have secret proprietary crops. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS ?!
Sprig: Uh…
Hop Pop: IF OUR FAMILIES MERGE, WE'LL BE RICH!!
The audience burst into laughter at the normally straight forward grandpa’s maniacal enthusiasm.
“And~ there it is,” Vanessa said flatly.
“Of course that’s what you’re after,” Eda deadpanned. “Are Doofus and I the only ones who didn’t try to sell their kids?”
“I didn’t try to sell Mabel exactly,” Pines defended. “I thought she liked the little worm.”
“anyways, this is the second time you’ve sold the same boy, Plantar,” the Witch judged.
“I’ll admit, this isn’t a moment I’m particularly proud of. But like with Pines, I thought this was a win-win for everyone,” Plantar explained. “Besides, we needed the money.”
Polly: Wow. Sooo romantic.
“Your disinterest continues to bring me joy,” King wiped away a tear as the others laughed.
Anne reads from her magazine that two thirds of all soulmates start out as “just friends”. Sprig starts to wonder if Ivy is his soulmate.
Phineas’ eyebrows furrowed in thought. Was that… true?
“Ferb, how accurate is that information?”
“Quite accurate.”
The Flynn turned to the others for their input.
“Dude, that’s like, objectively true,” Soos chuckled.
“Oh, yeah,” Sprig answered.
“For sure,” Luz nodded.
“Yes,” Willow added.
“Definitely,” Tambry said.
“Absolutely,” Hop Pop continued.
“Without a doubt,” Eda finished.
“I am ninety-nine percent sure that… wait a minute,” Mabel trailed off and turned to face the ones who spoke before her with wide eyes. Specifically the ones outside her group. “Why do you guys sound so sure about that?”
They immediately blushed, even Eda, making the Pines girl squeal in excitement.
Taking all this in, Phineas’ eyes momentarily flickered over to Isabella, who had a hopeful expression for some reason. Then he shook his head.
No, that’s crazy, he thought.
Anne: Magazines never lie.
There’s an article reading "Bat & Cat Have Baby?”
“I still have doubts,” Phineas said flatly.
Isabella’s face fell.
Hop Pop has already sent a letter asking Ivy’s family. They’ve agreed to a date!
“Oh, she’s interested. Cool,” Wendy said.
“Really? That was fast,” Stacy blinked.
The messenger is a mosquito and wants a tip. AKA Hop Pop’s blood. He kindly obliges but not too much.
“You guys tamed mosquitos?” Dipper inquired.
“Not many,” Hop Pop clarified.
Sprig decides that one date couldn't hurt.
Luz and Mabel squealed in delight while Phineas looked at the screen baffled.
He’s actually considering this? But… but…
The Firefly Formal is buzzing with activity.
“Wow, that looks like a lot of fun,” Candace beamed.
“We could go there tonight if you’d like,” Jeremy offered.
“I’d love to,” she smiled at him.
“Perfect. It’s a date,” he smiled back.
“Aw~!” Mabel and Luz gushed.
The family gets Sprig dressed up in the ceremonial garments.
Sprig: Uh... I don't know about this. Ivy's gonna think I look stupid. I think I look stupid.
Anne: Great! You'll have something in common.
There were a few laughs at that.
“Are you guys laughing at what Anne said, or the outfit,” Sprig questioned.
“Both,” Nate cackled.
Ivy arrives, also in the ceremonial garments.
Nate and Lee laughed again.
“She doesn’t look happy to be here,” Phineas observed.
Hop Pop: All right, boy, go get that lucrative business relationship. I mean, romantic relationship. (chuckles) Saved it.
“Good job,” Polly said sarcastically, making the others laugh.
“Yeah, I think you’ve made it clear what you’re really looking for here, Mr. Plantar,” Willow stated.
Sprig and Ivy’s introductions are really awkward.
Everyone collectively cringed at the interaction.
“I think I’m getting second-hand embarrassment from watching this,” Lee said.
Felicia: (sighs) I'm so happy we agreed on this merger, Hopediah. That Sprig of yours looks like a hard worker.
Hop Pop: Like we agreed, you'll get Sprig to work at your restaurant, and I'll get the seeds to those Sundew vegetables.
“Oh, so she just wants free labor,” Isabella frowned.
“Yeah, that makes more sense,” Phineas nodded.
“You mention yesterday that this was normal?” Soos questioned the elder frog.
“Yes. Arranged marriages like this one are common among frogs to increase the population and economy,” he explained.
“People die a lot, that’s why,” Polly stated matter of factly.
“Yeesh! That’s pretty dark,” Candace recoiled.
“Oh, it’s very dark,” Hop Pop nodded.
“Anything else to know about this?” Gus asked.
“Well, since Sprig would have been working for Felicia, he would have actually become a Sundew instead of Ivy becoming a Plantar.”
“Interesting,” Dipper mentioned as he wrote all this down.
Anne: This is so exciting. I wonder what their ship name will be. Ivig? Sprigivy?
Polly: What are you even saying?!
There were more laughs.
“Did you come up with a better ship name?” Luz asked.
“I did. Sprivy!”
“Oh, I love that!” Mabel praised.
Hop Pop shushes them, saying to watch their little love doves fly. Love doves are birds that mate for life.
“That’s amazing!” the Pines girl gushed. “Looks like there is one nice thing in your world.”
Albus Duckweed announces Sprig and Ivy’s dance.
Albus Duckweed: Hopediah Plantar says, "Sprig, don't mess this up for us." And Felicia Sundew would like Ivy to "have a great courtship. Wink." It says "wink" here. "Love, Mom."
“Oh, yeah. Love was never the concern for either of you,” Eda gave Plantar a flat look.
Hop Pop just shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
The two awkwardly begin to dance, which is hard with how little movement their clothes provide.
The teens laughed at the sight.
“Ha! It’s like that one scene in Shrek 3!” Nate laughed.
“I think it’s called Shrek the Third,” Thompson said.
“Potato tomato,” he shrugged.
“What’s Shrek?” King asked, making all the humans present gasp.
“King, I swear I’m going to show you Shrek as soon as I can,” his sister vowed.
Ivy: (awkwardly) I had no idea you felt this way about me, Sprig.
Sprig: Oh, sure. Didn't you know two-thirds of all mates start with souls? Ah! I mean, two-thirds of all souls start with…
The audience winced at the interaction.
“This is really awkward,” Lee mentioned.
Sprig: [sighs] I can't do this. I'm really sorry, Ivy. I-- I don't want to date you. Everyone just convinced me this was a good idea.
Ivy: Oh, thank goodness! I only went along because I didn't want to hurt you. Also 'cause my mom forced me.
“Oh,” Luz and Mabel went, clearly disappointed.
Phineas felt validated at the moment. It didn’t last long however as he found himself frowning for some reason.
Why does that make me… upset?
The pair decide to ditch the whole thing and go watch the fireflies, calling each other “friend”.
Well, at least they’re friends, Isabella thought.
Anne gets smug seeing the “love doves” sneak off into the woods. You know what that means?
Felicia: It means they're abandoning the ritual! If those two don't finish that dance…
Hop Pop: Then this courtship will be ruined! Along with my financial security!
“Oh for crying out loud! Just leave them alone, Plantar!” Eda exclaimed in frustration.
“We needed the money!” he defended. “You saw how much we’ve been struggling!”
Anne begins to worry about how they’ll regret missing this opportunity. The three agree to get this courtship back on track.
Polly: Uh, counterpoint. Why don't we just leave them alone?!
They dismiss this idea.
“Listen to her!” half the audience went.
“Polly, you are officially the smartest person in your family,” Eda said.
“Thanks, lady!”
After removing the stuffy garments, Ivy wastes no time in ambushing Sprig, and the two begin to duel with sticks.
Ivy: Come back here! This'll be your grave!
Sprig: That's, uh...That's pretty dark.
That earned chuckles and warm smiles from all in attendance.
“This makes more sense,” Phineas thought aloud. “They’re best friends. A companionship that’s just fun all the time. You’re happy whenever you see each other and all that.”
“That’s also what being in love is like,” Luz smiled.
“What?”
The group finds the garments, but not Ivy and Sprig. That’s when two real love doves majestically fly in.
The audience gasped.
“Wow,” many went.
“So majestic,” Mabel praised.
“They’re beautiful,” Isabella smiled.
“Aw~, what a cute couple,” Luz gushed.
Hop Pop: Don't move or we're dead.
“What?” the audience blinked.
Anne: What? I thought they were all romantic and mate for life.
Hop Pop: Yeah, and they spend that life massacring all living things.
“Aw, come on~!” Mabel bemoaned. “Why couldn't there be just one nice thing about this place? Is that too much to ask?”
They’re immediately taken away by the beautiful predators.
The group shared concerned looks.
“Oh, boy,” Jeremy said.
Sprig and Ivy are now just relaxing, the pair watching the fireflies.
Sprig: Hey, purple ones.
Ivy: Oh, yeah, those are babies. I read that they're purple so the moms can find them if they get lost.
Sprig: What? That's adorable.
“Aw~!” Mabel, Luz, Anne and the Fireside Girls went.
“That is adorable,” Luz gushed.
“I think that’s one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard,” Isabella smiled.
“Yeah, it is,” Phineas agreed with his own smile.
The light from the fireflies glowed from the screen, almost dancing across the audience. Phineas watched as the purple and yellow lights illuminated Isabella’s smiling face in the darkness. The triangle-headed boy looked on fondly.
She looks really pretty like that, he thought. Then his eyes widened like he’d been woken from a dream. Wait a minute, where did that come from!
The two have a sweet moment with Sprig making a goofy face at her. That’s when they hear their families scream and rush to their rescue.
Luz and Mabel exchanged a knowing glance. They noticed there was definitely still a vibe between the two frogs.
The love doves bring them to their nest and trap them in a goo and fly away.
Anne: Uh, so they're not gonna eat us?
Hop Pop: Not right away. Love doves prefer to let their prey marinate in fear first.
There were a few painful whimpers at the new knowledge.
“Sweet Titan, how can they be so sadistic?!” Luz questioned.
“I know! That’s not how you handle meat,” Stan began. “You want your food to be nice and tender. Stress will just make it chewy.”
“Agreed! Hoot!” Hooty hooted.
Felicia, Hop Pop and Ane begin to talk over each other. Polly’s frustration has reached its boiling point and she begins to to blame everyone and tell them all off.
Polly: Zip it! The only reason we're here marinating is because you all had to play matchmaker. You two were greedy, plain and simple.
“Ouch,” Heinz said.
“Harsh truths are the greatest weapon,” Mabel nodded sagely.
“Ha ha! Yes! Tell them off!” Eda cheered.
Anne: Nice. Totally innocent for once. You two should be ashamed.
The entire theater gave Anne flat looks.
“Really, Anne?” Luz questioned.
“Okay, maybe I wasn’t that innocent,” she admitted sheepishly.
Polly: Are you kidding?! Sprig only went through with this because of you and this dumb magazine!
The pollywog tears the magazine up with her teeth.
Anne: Wow. I feel lighter somehow, more... free.
Mabel and Candace blinked for a moment. The redhead remembered how much better she felt after throwing that magazine away. Mabel wondered what would happen if she tore up her own.
“Give me a sec,” Mabel said and walked into the Shack. She came back later with a stack of magazines. Mabel pulled one out and suddenly ripped a piece of it off. The girl found herself sucking in a quick breath of air and perked up with wide eyes. “Woah. That felt good. Like a massive weight was just lifted from my shoulders.”
Candace grabbed another magazine and tore away a page. She found herself having the same reaction as Mabel.
“Woah.”
The two looked at each other in silence for a moment before grinning. What came afterward was a frenzy of the two girls tearing their magazines apart, laughing gleefully as the paper rained down like a blizzard. When all was said and done, the pair reclined back in their seats with content smiles.
“That was amazing!” Mabel beamed.
“I know! Who would have thought that all I needed to get rid of my stress was to tear up those papers of lies?” Candace grinned.
“I think I saw some more at the Dusk-2-Dawn.”
“Then we’re gonna destroy them along with those ghosts.”
“I think you and I are gonna be good friends.”
Sprig and Ivy arrive to rescue them.
Ivy: We're also here to tell you we don't want to date each other and we never will.
“Um, maybe save this for after the rescue?” Stacy suggested.
The three matchmakers begin to apologize, but they’re cut off by the return of the love doves.
Polly: I always tell them, "Save the heartfelt apologies for when we get to safety."
That got a few snickers and laughs from the audience.
“How often does this happen?” Wendy asked.
“All. The. Time,” the tadpole said, clearly done with all this.
Sprig then surprises Ivy by ambushing the male love dove., knocking it unconscious. The female gets distracted by her love’s injury and comforts him, allowing Ivy to then knock her out too.
Hop Pop: Amazing. Even in defeat, they're majestic.
“They may be vicious killers, but they’re still sweet,” Mabel said
“Agreed,” Luz nodded.
“Wow! Way to go, Kid!” Nate praised.
“Yeah! That was great!” Wendy agreed.
“Thanks, guys. But I can’t take all the credit. Ivy did a lot of work too,” Sprig smiled fondly.
“She’d make a great Fireside Girl,” Isabella whispered to her troupe.
“Oh, for sure,” Ginger nodded.
Felicia takes Ivy away to apologize in safety.
Hop Pop: Sprig, next time we won't get the courtship kit out until you're good and ready. Now I can focus on finding love for Polly.
Polly: Noooooo!
The audience burst into laughter at that.
“Don’t you dare!” Eda glared at Hop Pop and immediately pulled Polly into her lap.
“Yeah, leave her alone,” King agreed, also wrapping his arms around Polly protectively.
“Fair enough,” the grandfather said.
Polly looked around at the protection she was getting from the Clawthornes.
“You know, I don’t hate this.”
Now Sprig and Ivy can go back to being friends.
“Yeah. Friends,” Luz spoke slyly.
Phineas nodded at that conclusion.
Yeah. Exactly. They’re friends. Best friends. Best friends don’t date. It’s not possible. It just doesn’t make any sense. I mean, if Isabella and I… okay, why is my heart beating faster all of a sudden.?
As Ivy leaves, Sprig looks at her fondly.
Anne: Oh, you just fell in love with her, didn't you?
Sprig: Yeah, I just fell in love with her.
The audience laughed and awed at the scene. Mabel and Luz both squealed loudly.
“What?” Phineas quietly let out, staring at the screen.
It was at that moment the door to Amphibia opened. Though the light seemed to dim around there, the Ivy’s silhouette could be seen.
Seeing an opportunity, Sprig grinned widely and hid beneath his seat.
“Time to finally get the drop on her,” he whispered to himself.
Ivy seemed to move closer and that’s when Sprig pounced on her, tackling his girlfriend to the ground.
“Ha ha! I got you, Ivy!” he cheered. Then his face twisted into confusion. Ivy felt… different.
That’s when the light returned revealing that Ivy was actually a gourd with sticks and strings.
“What the?”
“Dude, I think that was a puppet,” Soos mentioned.
“But then that means-”
“AMBUSH!” came the cry of the real Ivy who pounced on Sprig and tackled him in a hug. “Thanks for your help,” she spoke towards the ceiling.
“It was my pleasure.”
“Aw, man~! I thought I had you this time,” the pink frog complained.
“Nope! And you never will,” she grinned before hugging him in a warm embrace he quickly returned.
The shippers awed at the sight.
“Hi, everyone! It’s nice to meet you,” Ivy greeted the group.
“So, Ivy, Sprig, are you guys together?” Mabel asked happily.
“Maybe we are, maybe we aren’t,” the Sundew responded cheekily.
Phineas’ head was spinning as he watched Sprig look at her fondly.
“He fell for his best friend? Does that mean it can happen? That it could happen to… No, that’s crazy! What am I even saying? I can’t be—I’m not—Isabella’s not—we’re not a—we don’t have—I don’t have feelings for-”
“Phineas? Are you alright?” Isabella’s concerned voice broke through his internal ramblings.
He turned to her and froze. Isabella’s face showed nothing but worry for him. Her eyes were windows into her sincerity. Two beautiful pools of dark blue that made him feel safe and…
…Oh. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Oh no.
Phineas’s eyes widened in panic and he quickly looked away from her and wrung his hands in his lap.
“Um, yeah! I’m fine! Perfectly fine! All good! Nothing wrong over here!” he stammered for what could only have been the second time in his life. A blush had also taken place on his cheeks for probably the first time.
Isabella just stared at him in confusion and shrugged after a moment.
What they didn’t realize however, was that Eda, Mabel and Candace had looked away from the frog couple and saw the whole thing.
“Well, how about that? He finally figured it out. It’s about time,”the Clawthorne smirked.
“Oh. My. Gosh! I knew he could do it! Ah!” Mabel screamed quietly.
Candace was grinning broadly.
“It’s happening. It’s finally happening!”
“Eh eh,” Mabel went, gesturing her hand to Candace in a gimme motion. “I told you he’d figure it out today.”
Her grin not faltering once, Candace pulled out a ten and enthusiastically put it in Mabel’s hand.
“Best bet ever lost.”
“Time for the next one, people. Then we finish up with The Owl House.”
Anne Vs. Wild
While searching for lotion, Anne finds a bath bomb, and she excitedly shows it to the Plantars. When she heads outside, she discovers that they’re leaving for a camping trip. Without her.
“You guys are going on your own camping trip. Nice!” Gretchen praised.
“But without Anne? Why?” Willow questioned.
Hop Pop: When we Plantars camp, we camp hard. No sense in you coming with us and being miserable.
Sprig: We know you hate dirt, bugs, rocks... and nature.
Polly: You're soft, Anne, like a baby.
“Ouch,” the theater went. Then they laughed.
“Harsh but true,” Candace said.
“What?” Anne asked.
“Girl, you were literally just talking about how you love bath bombs,” Mabel pointed out.
“The last one also began with you complaining about nature,” Dipper added.
“No offense, Anne, but your past self is not cut out for the outdoors,” Luz finished.
Hop Pop: Really, you should be glad you're not one of us.
The audience, especially the Plantars, winced at that.
“Oh. Hearing it from this angle, I can see why you reacted the way you did,” Hop Pop realized.
“It’s alright, Hop Pop,” Anne said.
Anne lies that she can handle it and insists on coming with them.
“Maybe you should be honest and say that you don’t wanna be left out?” Willow suggested.
“Yeah, I should have done that,” Anne winced.
Hop Pop: Are you sure? I wasn't kiddin' when I said "rough."
Polly: And I wasn't kidding when I said you were soft.
Everyone laughed again.
“I love how blunt you are,” Eda said.
“Me too!” King agreed.
Polly smiled at that.
Anne convinces them that she’ll have a great time, so they make room. To get her ready, Sprig lathers her up with gunk to keep the ticks away.
Anne: Totally not regretting this.
“Hey, I just thought of a new bet! Let’s see how long it takes before the truth comes out,” Heinz said.
“You hoping to gain back your cash?” Stan smirked.
“I have more,” he waved off. “Are you in?”
“Put me down for one night.”
“”Eh, the girl’s tougher than that. I say two,” Eda joined in.
“Same.”
The family arrives at Camp Phlemington.
“Say, that place doesn’t look half bad,” Stan said. “I might go over there later. It’s been a while since I had a good camping trip.”
“You’ve never gone camping in Gravity Falls?” Mabel questioned.
“Gravity Falls doesn’t have any good enough spots for camping,” Wendy explained.
“No one’s ever been interested in our town to build a proper campsite. Not to mention how the Northwests still own all the good land,” Soos continued.
The Pines girl started to tap her chin in thought.
Sprig can’t wait to tell scary stories. Polly loves the fresh air. Hop Pop can really hear himself think.
Hop Pop: (thoughts) Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked? WILL YOU DIE ALONE?! Well, that was a mistake.
“Hop Pop? Are you okay?” Anne asked her grandfather with concern.
“I’m fine now, Anne.”
Did you remember to water your avocado seed? To sweep the floors? WILL YOU STILL DIE ALONE?!
“I spoke too soon.”
As the family starts camping, Anne is clearly not enjoying herself. First things first, her tent catches on fire.
“Ha! Nice to know I’m not the only one with that problem,” Marcy laughed.
“Your cape’s on fire,” Sasha said.
Marcy looked down to see just that.
“Aw, come on!”
Next, she’s attacked by a giant bug.
“Yeesh! This is painful to watch,” Mabel said.
“Well, at least it can’t get worse,” Gus responded.
While in her sleeping bag, she rolls into a mass of thorny vines.
“And~ I’m wrong.”
“Yikes! Did anyone else feel that?” Stacy asked.
The others nodded.
“Seriously, Kid. Go home,” Stan urged.
“So I stop torturing myself, or so you can collect your winnings?” she questioned flatly.
“Two things can be true.”
“Alright! Whether or not she’s still there in the morning will determine who wins the bet,” Eda announced.
Sprig is lathering Anne’s back with gunk to treat the tick bites.
Sprig: So, awkward question, but are you sure you wouldn't be happier back home?
“She would,” literally everyone said.
“Ish. Yes, I was miserable, but I wasn’t alone,” Anne explained.
The audience was silent as they considered her words.
Hop Pop: Seriously, Anne, no need to torture yourself. Take Bessie and go home. And don't you worry about us, 'cause we'll be just fine without you.
Without you. Without you. Without you.
“I’m sorry, Anne. I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Hop Pop frowned.
“It’s okay, Hop Pop.”
Anne lies that she’s fine. In fact, it’s not extreme enough for her.
“Anne, no,” Willow groaned into her hands.
“Girl, just tell them the truth,” Luz pressed.
“I know. Lying only makes things worse. I know that by now,” Anne said.
“How many lies did you tell before that?” Dipper asked.
“A lot.”
“Yeah, us too,” Mabel sighed.
“Dang it!” Stan shouted, throwing his fez on the floor. “I lost the bet!”
“Give it here, Pines,” Eda smirked with her hand stretched out. Heinz was grinning too.
Stan just huffed as he gave them the money.
That’s when Soggy Joe appears, scaring the group, offering to take them to a more extreme campsite.
A few of them jumped in their seats.
“Um, maybe don’t go with the creepy guy who might take you out into the woods to murder you?” Vanessa suggested with many others nodding in agreement.
“Oh, he wouldn’t do that,” Sprig shook his head.
“He’s actually a really nice guy,” Polly continued.
“He just likes to act creepy,” Hop Pop finished.
They agree to go to the site with Mr…
Soggy Joe: Name's Joe. Soggy Joe. [laughing]
Anne: Yeesh. Could you like, turn down the creep just a bit?
Soggy Joe: No!
“See?”
“How was the new campsite? Was it cool?” Ivy asked eagerly.
The silence was telling.
The new campsite is terrifying. Hop Pop sees frog bones.
“This is really feeling like the ‘take you out and murder you’ place,” Thompson gulped.
You're not far off, the four Plantars thought.
Polly sees tadpole buckets.
Eda and King sucked in a breath and pulled Polly closer to them.
Sprig sees a cute little snail.
“Aw~,” the Fireside Girls, including the new members, smiled.
“That snail is so cute,” Candy gushed.
It immediately gets eaten.
“Aw, come on!” they complained.
Soggy Joe: We're here. We bunk here for the night. And in the morning, if we're still alive…
They all gasp.
Soggy Joe: I'll take you all out for pancakes.
“Okay, I see the nice guy now,” Wendy nodded.
“I do like pancakes,” Luz smiled.
Soggy Joe offers to tell a scary story. Sprig says yes, much to the others’ frustration.
The audience groaned in frustration.
“Sprig,” Ivy spoke flatly.
“What? What did I do?” he asked in confusion.
Soggy Joe: Gather 'round and hear ye the tale of the Mud Men. Born in the bowels of the bog itself, the mud creatures stalk the inky night, lusting to devour any frogs that might have wandered into their domain.
He sinks beneath the mud.
“Say, I could take a few pointers from this guy. That’s a good tale,” Stan mentioned.
“Are the Mud Men gonna be real?” Baljeet asked.
“We can’t answer that,” Anne responded.
Polly: Ten bucks says he doesn't come back up.
Everyone laughed at that.
“We can always count on you to lighten to mood,” King said.
Soggy Joe: (Bursts up) Just like us! (laughs) Ah, yes. The Mud Men only fear two things. Daylight and being clean.
There were a few yelps from the audience at the jump scare.
“This guy’s really good at getting a scare out of people,” Phineas praised, once again able to think about anything other than his recent revelation thanks to this.
Soggy Joe leaves to use the restroom. Sprig asks if it’s extreme enough for Anne. She lies, yes.
“Nope. It was too much,” she immediately corrected herself.
Soggy Joe returns and falls to the ground with an axe in his back.
Everyone screamed at the sight.
“Hot Belgian Waffles!” Stan shouted.
The caretakers in the theater and across all the rooms did their best to cover their children’s eyes.
“Did we just watch some guy die?!” Lee exclaimed.
“Keep your voice down!” Eda scolded, gesturing to the younger kids, causing the teen to wince.
Monstrous figures emerge from the bog.
Sprig: It's the Mud Men!
“They’re real! Aw, sweet!” Ivy cheered, gaining perplexed looks from the others. “I wish I could have been there. Looks like a really fun fight.”
The others just blinked at her in silence. Then…
“Do you want to be a Fireside Girl?” Isabella asked.
“I might be interested in that. Do you like being randomly attacked?” the frog girl smirked.
“I might.”
“Then let’s see how it goes.”
“Wow. She and Sprig really are perfect for each other,” Candace said. Perry nodded in agreement.
They scare them with torches, but the Mud Men put them out with mud.
Sprig: Really wish we had some sunlight right about now.
Hop Pop: Or heck, cleaning products.
“There’s no way that bath bomb’s gonna work,” Tambry deadpanned.
“About that…” Anne trailed off.
Anne sacrifices her bath bomb and throws it into the mud. At first nothing happens. Then in a giant explosion of suds, the entire campsite and Mud Men are cleaned.
The audience just stared at the screen for a minute. Then they silently turned to face the inventor boys.
“Phineas, Ferb, I want you two to think very hard about this,” Candace began. “Did you two invent that?”
“I don’t know. Ferb?”
“Not yet. But perhaps we will in the future.”
“Can that future be sometime today? I’d love to try that out,” their sister said.
“I think I’m gonna look more into the company that made it,” Anne mentioned.
The Plantars praise Anne for being an extreme camper. That’s when she finally admits the truth.
Polly: So you dragged us to this horror show for no reason? Twisted. I love it.
Everyone cackled at that.
“We need to get away from her, or we’re all gonna die laughing,” Vanessa giggled.
“Heck of a way to go,” Eda grinned.
Anne: I guess I've been feeling kind of left out lately. I'm not a frog. I'm not a Plantar. Heck, I wasn't even invited on this trip. I really like you guys and wanted to be with you, miserable or not.
The family embraces each other.
The theater smiled at the interaction.
“I should have just said that from the beginning. Would have saved us a lot of trouble,” Anne shook her head with a chuckle.
“Well, at least we got a good story out of it,” Sprig said.
Turns out Soggy Joe is alive! The group begins to explain everything he missed. So, he takes them out for pancakes.
“I’m not if I should be impressed or scared that he managed to survive that,” Dipper admitted.
“Well, he got them pancakes and us an amusing interaction, so I’m going with impressed,” his sister said.
Back home, Anne finally shows them the Music Box.
The audience leaned forward in their seats. Maybe they were finally gonna get some answers…
Hop Pop: May I?
Anne: Sure. I mean, it's busted.
Hop Pop: Hmm. (sniffs) Hmm. Hmm! Nope. Never seen anything like it.
…only to groan in frustration.
“Well, that was a let down,” Soos sighed.
“At least they can start investigating it now,” Gus reasoned.
Candace narrowed her eyes at the screen. She fe;lt a familiar tingle run up her spine and buzzing go off in her head. Something about what Hop Pop said… her busting sense didn’t like it.
The family promises to help Anne find a way home before heading to bed. In his study, Hop Pop looks up the music box in an old book.
Hop Pop: (gasps) It's just as I feared.
The Calamity Box.
The audience’s eyes widened at the words.
“Calamity Box?” Mabel questioned nervously.
“That sounds bad. Is that bad?” Isabella asked with a little fear.
The family of four shared a look before facing the group.
“It’s complicated,” Anne answered.
Candace however was more focused on Hop Pop at the moment.
“He lied,” the redhead whispered. “Why did he lie?”
She could feel her stomach twisting in discomfort, not liking where this was going.
“Calamity,” Lilith said, staring off in thought.
“Lilith?” Darius placed a hand on her shoulder.
“I think… I think I need to look through our historical texts. There’s something about this that rings a bell.”
Time for the Owl House, everyone! These episodes are especially important for the future,” the host said. Luz wasn;t sure of it, but she swore that they were smirking at her. That’s when she realized that Amity might appear in these episodes and blushed.
Titan, I’m a lost cause.
“Ehiruh zh frqwlqxh, duh brx vxuh zh kdyh hyhubrqh zh zdqw khuh?” Khlqc dvnhg.
“Qr, zh kdyh hyhubrqh zh zdqw,” Hdqnl vdlg.
“Dfwxdoob L glgq’w eulqj hyhubrqh brx dvnhg iru, uhphpehu?” wkh fdw ehjdq. “Brx dvnhg ph wr vxpprq Plor'v jurxs, exw Pxuskb’v Odz pdgh lw… gliilfxow,” klv idfh vfuxqfkhg xs lq iuxvwudwlrq.
“Hk, wkhb grq’w qhhg wr vhh hyhubwklqj. Wkhb’uh jrrg dw dgdswlqj wr lqwhqvh vlwxdwlrqv,” wkh Wlwdq zdyhg rii.
“Frph wr wklqn ri lw, wkhuh duh rwkhu khurhv zh frxog eulqj wrr. Zkdw derxw Sulqfhvv Vwdu?” wkh dpskleldq dvnhg.
Wkh wlwdq vkliwhg klv ihhw dznzdugob.
“Wklv lv uhdoob hpeduudvvlqj, exw L dfwxdoob xp… kdgq’w zdwfkhg doo khu dgyhqwxuhv ehiruh dvnlqj wkh Jxdugldq iru khos. Vr, L glgq’w dvn klp wr eulqj wkhp khuh.”
“Dqg lw’v wrr odwh iru ph wr eulqj lq rwkhu jurxsv,” wkh fdw dgghg.
“Exw ihdu qrw. L kdyh ghylvhg wkh shuihfw vroxwlrq!” Hdqnl surxgob erdvwhg.
“Qrw wr vrxqg uxgh, exw lvq’w vkh nlqgd… xvhohvv qrz?” Khlqc txhvwlrqhg. “Vkh ghvwurbhg wkh pdjlf, zklfk lv dfwxdoob suhwwb frqixvlqj vlqfh brxu pdjlf vwloo halvwv.”
“Rk, zh fdq hasodlq wkdw,” wkh Darorwo vdlg. “Rqh prphqw.”
Vxgghqob kh glvdsshduhg rqob wr lpphgldwhob uhwxuq, dqg qrw dorqh.
Zlwk d euljkw bhoorz iodvk, wkh qhz dgglwlrq wr wkh jurxs zdv vxpprqhg. Kh zdv vpdoo, eoxh dqg guhvvhg olnh d jxux dv kh iordwhg lq wkh dlu zklovw vlwwlqj lq wkh orwxv srvlwlrq.
“Rk, zh’uh grlqj rqh ri wkhvh wklqjv. Gr brx kdyh sxgglqj?”
“Qlfh wr vhh brx, Jorvvdubfn,” Hdqnl vplohg.
“Zkdw wkh- brx’uh vxssrvhg wr eh ghdg!” Grrihqvkpluwc hafodlphg.
“Rk, L dp,” Jorvvdubfn ehjdq. “L mxvw fkrvh wr vshqg pb diwhuolih grlqj yroxqwhhu zrun dw wkh Wkhudsulvp. Vdph zlwk wkh uhvw ri wkh Pdjlfdo Kljk Frpplvvlrq.”
“Rpqlwudaxv lv yhub khosixo zlwk vfkhgxolqj phhwlqjv,” wkh dpskleldq ehdphg. “Dqg Khfndsrr grhv zrqghuv rq wudqvsruwdwlrq.”
Hdqnl zdyhg klv kdqg dqg d sloh ri sxgglqj fxsv dsshduhg ehiruh wkh wlqb jxux. Kh zdvwhg qr wlph lq rshqlqj rqh xs dqg ihdvwlqj rq lwv frqwhqwv.
“Pdjlf lv d ixqqb wklqj, Surihvvru Wlph. Vrphwklqj wkdw srzhuixo kdv d zdb ri pdqlihvwlqj lq zdbv brx fdq qhyhu lpdjlqh. Lw’v dolyh, uhdoob. Dolyh hqrxjk wkdw zkhq lw glhv, lw fdq eh uhlqfduqdwhg.”
“L uhlqfduqdwhg wkh pdjlf lqwr qhz irupv. Ehwwhu irupv,” Darorwo hasodlqhg.
“Lqfoxglqj pb rzq,” wkh Wlwdq dgghg.
“Wkdw’v zkdw L glg zurqj wkh iluvw wlph. Pdjlf zdv rqob dffhvvleoh wr vrph shrsoh hlwkhu eb eorrgolqhv ru wkh RQOB zdqg. L nqhz lw qhhghg wr hqg.” Jorvvdubfn iurzqhg. Wkhq kh vplohg. “Khk. Dqg wkhq wkh fudclhvw wklqj kdsshqv. L jhw wdnhq eb Oxgr, dqg zkhq Vwdu vhdufkhv iru ph zlwk wkh Doo Vhhlqj Hbh, vkh wxuqv lw lqwr d sruwdo.”
Kh orrnhg xs dw wkh vflhqwlvw zlwk d eurdg julq.
“Vkh pdgh khu rzq pdjlf dqg glgq’w hyhq nqrz lw! Dqg zkhq vkh ghvwurbhg wkh Pdjlf Glphqvlrq, vkh dqg Pdufr ohiw dq lpsulqw rq lw. Wkdw pdgh wkh qhz pdjlf olplwohvv!”
“Zlwk wkh uheluwk ri pdjlf, hqwluhob qhz zruogv zhuh fuhdwhg,” wkh Jxdugldq vdlg. “Wkh Ghprq Uhdop, Dpskleld dqg vr pdqb pruh halvw ehfdxvh ri Vwdu Exwwhuiob.”
“Lw lv wkh qdwxuh ri halvwhqfh. Wkh rog pxvw glh vr wkh qhz pdb eh eruq,” Ghdwk dgghg. “Li brx duh wr kdyh d ehwwhu kduyhvw lq wkh qhaw bhdu, wkh rog sodqwv qhhg wr glh vr wkdw wkhlu vhhgv fdq jurz lqwr vwurqjhu rqhv. “Rk, dqg mxvw wr hoderudwh vrphwklqj, Vwdu GLGQ’W frpplw jhqrflgh. Wkh rqob ehlqjv pdgh ri sxuh pdjlf zhuh wkh Pdjlfdo Kljk Frpplvvlrq. Qr rqh hovh glhg.”
“Exw Wlwdqv halvwhg ehiruh Vwdu ghvwurbhg wkh pdjlf. Vr krz fdq…” Grri wudlohg rii dv wkh dqvzhu klw klp. “Lw’v d forvh wlph orrs.”
“Bhs,” Hdqnl qrgghg.
“Pdjlf dqg wlph wudyho frqwlqxh wr eh zhlug.”
“Zkloh zh’uh rq wkh vxemhfw, lv wkhuh dqbrqh hovh zh vkrxog jhw lqyroyhg lq wklv?” Olwwohsrw dvnhg.
“Rk! Zkdw derxw Nlp Srvvleoh?” Grri vxjjhvwhg zlwk d julq.
“Ru Mdnh Orqj,” wkh Darorwo dgghg.
“Olor dqg Vwlwfk,” Ghdwk vplunhg.
“Kdpvwhu dqg Juhwho!” Khlqc fkhhuhg.
“Zkr?” wkh Wlwdq dvnhg.
“Kdpvwhu dqg Juhwho, wkh vxshukhurhv iurp wkh Wul-Vwdwh Duhd wkdw hphujhg lq 5346. Vkrxogq’w brx nqrz wklv?” Grri udlvhg d eurz.
“Xk, wkdw zdv wkh bhdu pb vrq vwduwhg wr wdon lq vhqwhqfhv, vr…” wkh Wlwdq uxeehg wkh edfn ri klv qhfn vkhhslvkob. “Dv iru Nlp Srvvleoh dqg Mdnh Orqj… zhoo…”
“Zhoo zkdw?” Khlqc dvnhg.
Hdqnl’v hbhv iolfnhuhg ryhu wr Ghdwk.
“WKHB’OO GLH?!”
“Bhv. L’yh xvhg pb Rudfoh Pdjlf wr jhw d jolpsvh ri wkh ixwxuh. Li rxu Nlp Srvvleoh dqg Mdnh Orqj, ru dqbrqh hovh iurp wkhlu jurxsv jhw lqyroyhg lq wklv iljkw… vrphrqh lv jrlqj wr glh.” Wkhq kh fohqfkhg klv ilvw. “Dqg L dp QRW ohwwlqj wkdw kdsshq wr dqbrqh hovh.”
“Zkdw derxw Olor dqg Vwlwfk?” wkhlu iuloob iulhqg dvnhg.
“Wkhb’uh qhhghg lq Vsdfh.”
“Exw wkh wzr vxshukhurhv dqg wkh pdjlf sulqfhvv zloo eh ilqh?” Khlqc txhvwlrqhg.
Hdqnl kxpphg dqg fxsshg klv fklq. Kh vwhsshg dvlgh iru d prphqw dqg forvhg klv hbhv, d pdjhqwd jorz vxuurxqglqj klp. Wkh froru idghg diwhu d prphqw dqg kh uhwxuqhg wr wkh jurxs.
“Bhv. Wkhb’oo eh ilqh. Lw’v wrr odwh wr eulqj wkhp lq, exw wkdw grhvq’w phdq zh fdq’w lqwurgxfh wkhlu vwrulhv wr rxu jxhvwv. L wklqn L’oo gr wkh vdph wklqj L’p sodqqlqj iru Vwdu’v dgyhqwxuhv,” Hdqnl julqqhg.
“Vr, L jxhvv zh’uh wkh Lqwhuglphqvlrqdo Kljk Frpplvvlrq,” Jorvvdubfn mrnhg.
Hdqnl mxvw julqqhg.
“L jxhvv zh duh.”
Notes:
There you have it, people! Phineas FINALLY realized his feelings for Isabella! HORAY! And I promise you, they WILL get together. Just you wait.
Now, with this chapter the story will most definitely reach 100,000 hits. Once that happens, I will establish ways in which you all can support me and this story. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, and know that the rules of this website prevent me from explicitly saying it. I have a profile on reddit now and will start doing things there when I can, and it will have the link to "the thing" once I get it up and running. It would be very helpful to me if you were to take part in this.
Fun questions:
1) Who else thinks that Eclipsa would totally become Pacifica's mentor if they met?
2) How would you feel if I put a few songs from Wicked in this? I finally watched it last week and it's amazing!
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Chapter 16: Befriending Rivals
Notes:
Hello, everyone! I'm sorry that this took so long to get done. First I had exams in April, then finals in May. Then I finished my fourth semester and really got distracted by my new found free time. But now I'm back with a brand new chapter, and I think you're all gonna love it.
Come to think of it, since this chapter is so Lumity centric (or a least has a big focus on it), it was probably for the best that I waited till June. So, consider my gift as an ally to you all for Pride Month. Lumity Forever!
Speaking of being back... OH MY GOSH, THE PHINEAS AND FERB REVIVAL DROPPED TODAY AND IT'S ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL! I've only had time to finish the first episode today, but Dan and Swampy delivered! This is exactly what I needed. Plus, it gives me a whole bunch new bits to put in this fic.
But before we can get to the chapter, I must ask you all to listen to something very important I have to say... Lilo and Stitch... the live action adaptation has made $637.8 million worldwide. I myself haven't seen it, but I've heard enough to decide not to.
And so, I come before you all with a heavy heart. I'm reminded of the breathtaking words from Senator Mon Mothma, written by Tony Gilroy (edited by me): "I believe we are in crisis. The distance between what is said and what is known to be true has become an abyss. Of all the things at risk, the loss of an objective reality is perhaps the most dangerous. The death of truth is the ultimate victory of evil. When truth leaves us, when we let it slip away, when it is ripped from our hands, we become vulnerable to the appetite of whatever monster screams the loudest. This audience's hold on the truth was finally lost at the box office. What took place last month, what happened last month at the box office was unprovoked CHARACTER ASSASSINATION! Yes, character assassination. And that truth has been exiled from this audience. And the monster screaming the loudest, we helped create, the monster who will come for us all soon enough... is the Walt Disney Company!
They mercilessly executed the Star Wars EU and created that rip off Sequel Trilogy with no cohesive plan. They overworked Marvel Studios to produce quantity over quality. They canceled the Owl House for having Lumity! They ended Star vs the Forces of Evil before the creators could actually FINISH the story. They've made 616 Peter Parker's life A LIVING HELL! And now they've gone too far with these live action cash grabs. They took Lilo and Stitch, a movie that was revolutionary for its character development and story telling, AND OUTRIGHT ABUSED IT!!!! YOU DON'T DO THAT TO LILO AND STITCH.
This. Is the last. Straw.
I didn't think I'd ever actually do this, but they're leaving me no choice. I am hereby invoking "The Call of the Mand'alor" and ask that you all join me in a war against Disney!
I know I'm not a real Mandalore, which is why I am asking. For the sake of good story telling and character portrayal, Disney NEEDS to be stopped, and as the ones with money, we are the only ones who can do it. If you are with me, then say "This is the Way," in the comments down below.
As such, I shall share with you my plan of attack. We will do what the Union did against those Confederate traitors. We shall cut them off from their source of income and squeeze. Follow me and know that the only question we need to answer is how tight to close our fist. We will boycott Disney to the fullest extent possible. If we need the content on Disney+, then we shall pay the bare minimum price for it and deal with the ads. We are not to attend their theme parks. And we are only to go see movies that are worth watching! No more live action cash grabs! We shall constrict Disney with an iron grip until they bleed and are forced by us to change their ways. But most importantly is that their entire management be replaced by people who will let creators do their thing. Bob Iger must be ousted at all costs. And any who are like him.
Are you with me?
Anyways, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Covention
While at Eda’s stand, Luz is reading the first Azura book to King. King laughs at the picture, claiming he could draw better, and that they once called him the King of Artists. She questions if he’s making this up now.
King: Doesn't matter. What's important is that my followers would leave me offerings in fear of me!
That earned a few chuckles from the audience.
“You got offerings? What kind of offerings?” Polly asked eagerly.
“Oh, um…” King trailed off, trying to find a way to stretch the truth. “Candy.”
Polly gasped loudly.
“You got candy? I want candy!” the tadpole said brightly. Then her grin grew sinister. “All I have to do is inspire fear. MUAHHAHAHAHA!”
“Why does that make me nervous?” Willow questioned with a nervous smile.
Heinz eyed the little girl curiously.
“Dudes, should we be giving him offerings? You know, just in case he really is the King of Demons?” Soos wondered.
“Probably. Better safe than sorry,” Mabel said.
Eda says the flowery language is driving away all the customers. Luz points out that there are no customers.
“That’s odd. What gives?” Stan asked.
“Yeah, there's usually more people there,” Ginger mentioned.
Eda: This is a bad omen. There must be something horrible happening today
Gus: Luz! ( He and Willow run up to the stand ) Something amazing is happening today!
That got a few snorts.
Willow: It's the annual covention! Student witches get to see all the types of covens before they're placed in one. There's even a mystery guest this year!
“Do you mean ‘convention’?” Dipper asked.
“No, I meant what I said,” Willow responded.
“Oh, convention as in coven,” Isabella realized. “That’s clever word play.”
Eda does not want them to go.
Eda: I never joined a coven for a reason. Sure it's like a fun club for witches, but you're also giving up your magical independence to be part of a crooked system.
“Crooked system?” Wendy paroted. “What do you mean?”
“You’ll find out,” the Owl Lady scoffed.
Wendy and Candace shared suspicious frowns.
Eda: Eh, but, you know, no judgment. In any case, I haven't been to one since we were girls.
Noticing the “we”, Luz realizes that Eda has a mysterious past, and definitely wants to go now.
“Who’s the other person?” Mabel questioned.
“Again, you’ll find out.” This time she had a soft smile.
Luz is left with no choice, so King starts reading her Azura. She hates how flowery it is. She tries to flee through the portal door, but Luz throws King in with her, and she comes back with him still reading.
Eda: Stop it! Stop it! I will literally do anything to stop this!
They arrive at the covention and the theme song starts.
Everyone was cackling at the scene.
“I rather liked it actually,” Hop Pop said.
“It’s very Shakespearean,” Ferb nodded.
“Exactly!” Luz beamed.
“No!” Eda whined, burning her face in her hands. “Please don’t become friends over this.”
The three just smirked at each other. Well, Ferb smirked internally.
Luz and King are helping Eda fit her hair in her hood so she can keep a low profile. Luz questions if it’s necessary.
Eda: Do you think all my wanted posters are for petty theft?
Numerous small objects fall out of her hair.
Everyone laughed at that.
“How do you fit all that in there?” Stacy questioned.
“Anyone with thick enough hair can do it,” Eda leaned back and crossed her arms with a proud smirk.
Mabel pulled her hair in front of her and looked down at it in thought.
Eda: But the big whammy is I disobeyed the law and refused to join a coven. If I'm seen, I could go to jail. Again.
“Wait. Covens are government mandated?” Wendy asked incredulously.
Everyone turned to Eda, looking for an answer.
“Unfortunately,” Eda spoke bitterly.
“That’s like making it illegal to be unemployed!”
“You’re not far off,” she shrugged.
Phineas gaped at the screen and Ferb dropped what he was holding.
Willow suggests that maybe this event will convince her to finally join one. The Owl Lady casts a spell that pulls Willow’s hood over her head.
Willow cringed at her past words.
How could I have been so naive?
They enter the building and Luz questions if she was even alive before. Several booths are set up inside, each with a sign for one coven or another. From the ceiling hangs nine large colorful banners for the main covens. And there are hundreds of others to join.
“Wow! Say what you will, but this is really cool,” Dipper praised and clicked his pen. “Could you guys break it down for me?”
“Sure,” Gus said. “To start it off, the main nine covens are the same as the tracks at Hexside and all the other schools.They’re also part of the Isles’ government.”
“What about the hundreds of others?”
“They’re more of sub-divisions of the main ones.”
The kids go off on their own and Eda is nearly recognized by another witch. So she uses Hex Mix as a “distraction spell” before immediately going back for it.
“Say, that’s not a bad idea. I should be taking notes,” Stan thought aloud.
The kids watch a display of construction glyphs from the Construction Coven. Tiny Nose uses it to wreak havoc.
Tiny Nose: Ha-a-a! I'm the destroyer of worlds!
“Dang!” Mabel gasped.
“I want one of those!” Polly beamed.
“The conspiracy theorist now has the power to fight back,” Anne noted.
“Should we be worried or happy?” Jeremy wondered.
“Probably both?” she shrugged.
Gus shows Luz the Illusion coven. They like to magic with a hint of showmanship.
“Wow! Ferb! It’s like our special effects, but Magic!” Phineas beamed.
“What are your special effects like?” Gus asked.
“That’s probably a spoiler, but I promise we’ll show them to you when we get there.”
Luz: Wow! Acceptance? Comradery? A sense of belonging? Covens sound incredible! Eda, why haven't you ever joined one?
She tells her to watch closely as a witch joins the Illusion Coven.
Eda: When you join a coven, all your other magic is sealed away. (They see exactly that as a sigil is placed on his wrist) From now on, that kid will only be able to make illusions.
Everyone gaped at the screen.
“Wait, what?” Mabel blinked. “Say that again.”
“Joining a coven means you’re only allowed to use that one magic,” Eda explained sadly.
“So, those sigils just lock your abilities away forever?” Baljeet inquired.
“That’s crossing several ethical and moral lines!” Polly exclaimed.
“And it’s illegal not to be a part of it?” Wendy questioned incredulously.
“Pretty much,” King shrugged.
“An absolute law with no hope of appeal? That’s despotism!” Phineas shouted in outrage.
“That’s what I said!” Eda responded.
“Huh. Your version of covens are different from what I’ve read in folklore,” Dipper commented.
“What have you read?” Willow asked.
“Covens in our folklore aren’t limited to one type of magic. They’re actually made up of witches that each excel in a different magic. For example, there’s a Green Witch, that’s what we call Plant Witches; but there’s also a Potions Witch.”
“See, now that makes more sense,” Candace nodded.
Eda: Since I never joined a coven, I can do every kind of magic. (She creates a fireball in one hand and a ball of water in the other, then makes both disappear.) That's why I'm the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles.
“Wait, so you’re the most powerful by default?” Heinz asked. “Ha! My favorite way to win!”
“Yes and no. I also worked harder than anyone else. And that’s why I’m the most powerful witch who ever lived!” Eda boasted.
“Yeah you are! Whoop whoop!” Mabel cheered.
A student gives King a free pen.
King: Are you bestowing gifts upon me? Yes! I accept your offering! The King of Demons is back!
“Would his royal majesty like a sandwich?” Holly came up to him with one.
“Or would you perhaps care for a soda?” Milly offered.
“Or a bowl of ice cream?” Candy continued.
One by one, the Fireside Girls began to offer King different foods. The little guy not being one to turn down some free grub, eagerly ate away at it all.
“Wow. I’m pretty sure he ate like half the buffet table,” Stacy commented.
“How can he eat that much?”
“I was blessed with a humongous appetite,” King said as he quite literally dug-in to the biggest roast chicken they’d ever seen.
“No kidding,” Hop Pop responded.
“It’s like his stomach is a whirlpool for snacks,” Clawthorne mentioned.
“He certainly eats like a king,” Soos said.
Or a Titan, Luz and Eda thought with a smirk.
The group then comes across a room with guards. That’s the one for the Emperor’s Coven. And according to Eda, it’s the worst of them all. The only reason she goes in is because the man from earlier points her out to a guard.
The guests from Gravity Falls flinched at the sight of the triangle symbol. Especially since it had a circle in it too.
“You guys alright?” Anne asked.
“Oh, we’re fine,” Tambry lied.
“Quick question: what does that symbol mean?” Thompson spoke nervously.
Luz, Anne and Candace shared a look.
“Not really. Only thing we can say is that it’s been the Emperor’s Coven sigil forever. No one knows why,” Gus shrugged.
The Fallsers glanced at each other nervously.
Principle Bump: Hello, Bonesborough! Students ask me all the time, "Principal Bump, what's the height of magical achievement?"
Mattholemule: Is it this?
He grows his head and crushes the student next to him.
Principle Bump: Wow. I failed you as a principal.
Everyone laughed at the scene. Gus just facepalmed.
“Of course he did that.”
He says the answer is being selected to join the best of the best. And there are none better than the jewel of the coven system and the enforcers of his will, the Emperor's Coven! Each member is handpicked to help usher in a new age of controlled magic. And they have access to all forms of magic.
“Holdup! What?!” Wendy exclaimed. “You mean to tell me that the only ones who can use all magic legally are the flippin’ police?!”
“That’s why I’m a criminal. I didn’t want to be sucked into a corrupt authoritarian system and knew the risks,” Eda sighed.
“This is way worse than I thought,” Phineas spoke dreadfully.
“I never imagined anything like this,” Mabel added.
“This is worse than what Andrias did,” Polly whispered.
“It’s so horrible,” Gretchen added.
“And effective,” Doof commented, earning looks from the others. “What? If the Emperor only has one rebel Witch fighting against him, then I’d say that his Coven system is pretty effective.”
Wendy wasn’t paying attention to the scientist. She grit her teeth and clenched her fists as she shook in anger. The girl even growled. Suddenly she stood up and walked out of the theater and through the door to Gravity Falls. Even with the door closed, they could hear everything. Wendy let out a loud continuous, angry scream that was followed by the sound of chopping, then snapping, and something large and heavy hitting the ground with a loud thud.
A moment of silence passed before anyone spoke again.
“Did she just chop a tree down in anger?” Hop Pop asked.
“Yeah, we might wanna take that ax away from her,” Thompson recommended.
Wendy then came in and sat down looking much more relaxed and a lot less angry. Granted, she was clearly still ticked off since her arms were crossed, but not as much as before..
“I’m good now. Let’s keep going.”
Principle Bump: But... only the best can ascend these ranks. Some day that could be one of you!
He points directly at Amity, who brightens and squeals. Eda laughs.
“Oh, it’s that girl again,” Polly spoke flatly.
“Great. What are we gonna see her do this time?” said in the same tone.
The Owl House group shifted uncomfortably.
“Ah, I love it when she makes those happy squeals. They’re so sweet,” Luz sighed dreamily with a hand on her cheek.
Principle Bump: And now, I'm pleased to introduce the esteemed leader of this coven and this year's mystery guest. You know her, you love her! Lilith!
Eda: Huh?
The audience perked up in their seats. Eda clearly knew who that was and they could tell.
“Is this the person from your mysterious past?” Mabel asked brightly.
“Maybe,” Eda cracked a smile.
A bright flash of light near the ceiling turns into a blue raven sitting on a branch. It flies off the branch to the stage, landing to reveal Lilith, who sends her mask flying after dissipating the illusion.
“Woah!” the audience went.
“Now that’s an entrance,” Stan grinned with a nod.
Dipper gaped at the screen and dropped his pen.
“Who is that?” he was barely able to ask.
The audience applauds and cheers, while Eda is looking at her speechless. Luz notices this and realizes that Lilith is the character from Eda’s mysterious past.
“I knew it!” Mabel cheered then squealed.
“So, what’s the relation here? Childhood friend? Relative?” Phineas asked.
After Lilith gives a speech about how it wasn’t easy to get to the top, and another demonstration, Eda is gonna go home and wash all the con funk off her skin. She leaves while shooting a laser at Luz’s coven type test.
“Oh, you really did not like seeing Lilith,” Stacy noted.
“Not exactly. It’s… it’s complicated,” Eda pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Because she’s a cop?” Stan asked.
“…Yeah.”
Luz is too busy reading that she bumps into Amity. And she is not happy to see her.
“It was bound to happen eventually,” Anne sighed.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Candace said.
Amity tells her this convention is for witches only.
Luz: Well, I'm learning how to be a witch. I'm receiving magic lessons from a powerful witch and a ferocious demon.
Amity: Is that your ferocious demon there?
King: (decked out in merch and holding cupcakes) Cupcakes in my tummy-tum makes the King say yummy-yum!
“Aw~!” the audience gushed.
“Would the little guy like to try our Fireside Girl cupcakes?” Gretchen offered him a plate.
“They’re really good,” Holly added.
“Yes, please!”
But just as he reached out for one…
Baker: So you'll join the Bakers Coven?
King: Hmm… Nope.
He eats the cupcake before stealing another.
“Oh no you don’t!” Polly hopped over and took the plate, holding it high above her head while everyone laughed at the screen. “Those cupcakes our mine!”
“Give me those!” King barked and chased after her.
Everyone laughed at the adorable sight while the two ran around the room trying to claim the cupcakes for themselves. It went on for about a minute until Polly tripped on someone’s leg and let go of the plate. King caught it before it could fall and gazed at the deserts hungrily.
“Yes~. Yum-yums,” the little Titan’s mouth watered as he again reached for one… only for Polly to tackle him.
That made Perry cop his bill curiously.
The kids then got up and reached for the cupcakes. And interestingly enough, they grabbed the same one, making their hands touch. (Paw and nub really) They stopped at that moment and their eyes met. They just stared at each other for a couple seconds, neither one moving one bit.
Then Polly slapped his paw off the cupcake.
“Ow!” he yelped.
Polly began unceremoniously munching on the cupcake like the little animal she was. King just watched her for a bit before grinning.
“You are fantastic!”
“I know,” she said as she continued to eat.
The whole thing just earned more laughs from the audience and aws from their families.
King comes over to show Luz all his offerings, but he trips and falls, dropping his cupcake. Amity then steps on it.
Amity: Oops. That was an accident.
The audience gasped.
“Oh, that was just mean!” Isabella spat.
Perry chattered angrily in agreement.
“And so uncalled for,” Vanessa admonished.
“What’s wrong with her?! Why is she like this?” Ivy threw her hands up.
Because of her mother, Luz thought sadly.
In the Owl House, Amity bowed her head and whimpered in shame. Her siblings hugged her in response.
Luz: Why are you being so mean, Amity?
Amity: Because you and your pet are giving witches in training a bad name.
King: (scratching himself with his hind leg) I'm not a pet!
Everyone tried their best to hold in their snorts and snickers.
Luz: He's a very good boy and the King of Demons!
“Yeah! Long live the King!” Isabella cheered in defiance.
“Long live the King!” the other kids in her group echoed.
The little guy chose to stay silent.
Luz: I'll tell you what, Amity. (Stands) It's one thing to say I can't be a witch—
Amity: 'Cause you can't.
Luz: ...but it's another thing to bully my friends. Just like The Good Witch Azura said when facing down her rival Hecate at the Bog of Immediate Regret... I challenge you to a Witch's Duel!
Everyone gasps and Amity takes several steps forward into Luz's face.
Amity: I accept.
“Okay, that was kinda cool,” Phineas praised.
“Yeah, she really used the drama well,” his sister agreed.
“Um, Luz? You might be in over your head here,” Dipper gulped.
“Yeah, she’s a top student and you only know one spell,” Sprig added.
“The light spell at that,” Ivy agreed.
“She’d crush you, girl. Like a baby,” Polly said bluntly.
The Owl House group winced at the words, knowing that they were absolutely right about these events. Eda turned to see her kid’s response… but she was staring at her girlfriend with wide eyes instead.
“Wow… I could have kissed her,” she realized in a whisper. “She was barely an inch away, I could have kissed her! It would have taken no effort.”
“Welp, I guess this is my life now,” Eda sighed dejectedly. Then she smiled at her softly.
If Luz wins, Amity apologizes to King. If Amity wins, Luz has to stop training to be a witch. Forever.
King: Do it, Luz! For my honor!
That got a few chuckles. But only a few given the severity of the moment.
They shake on it and Amity casts the everlasting oath.
“That’s not like an unbreakable vow, is it? You know, from the Cynthia Coven books?” Anne asked.
“Well, it's not lethal but… yes,” Luz nodded.
“Oh boy.”
Luz: King, I-I can win this, right?
King: (eating his cupcake off the floor) Mmm? Oh, yeah. No.
Heinz and Polly burst into laughter.
“What the heck, dude?!” Anne shouted.
“King? King!” Eda began angrily.
“Uh oh,” the little guy gulped.
“You had Luz fight for you knowing that she'd fail?” his mother reprimanded him.
“Um… maybe?” he squeaked out. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
“Big time.”
As Eda tries to leave, she bumps into Lilith and a group of students.
Lilith: Sister?
“Sister?!” everyone exclaimed.
“She’s your sister?!” Mabel gasped.
“Say what?!” Hop Pop shouted.
“That is… wow. I did not see that coming,” Dipper put a hand to his temple.
“Huh. I kinda figured she’d be your daughter if anything,” Lee said.
“What?!” Eda exclaimed while the rest of her group tried and failed not to laugh. “I’ll have you know that she is my older sister, young man.”
“S-Sorry, Miss Clawthorne! I just assumed that she was younger because she looks… well…” Lee gulped.
“She dyes her hair,” Eda glared at him.
They prove to be sisters when Lilith calls Eda a trash collector, and Eda tells the students that when they were kids, Lilith was so excited to see the Emperor’s Coven that she peed a little.
Lilith squawked as she was humiliated for the second time while everyone snickered
Lilith questions why she’s there, but then thinks Eda’s going to join the Emperor’s Coven. Eda laughs at the idea.
“She looked so excited there,” Sprig noticed.
“She was,” Eda nodded with a sad smile.
Lilith brags about how she’s mentoring the next generation of powerful witch students. Eda claims that Luz could wipe the floor with any of her prissy blue bloods.
Lilith: (Stepping closer.) Is that a challenge?
Eda: Oh, it's a promise.
Luz runs in screaming.
Luz: Eda, I need your help! I accidentally challenged Amity to a witch's duel, and I think she's going to kill me all the way dead!
The audience laughed at the very poor timing.
“That’s funny on so many levels,” Stacy wiped away a tear.
Apparently Amity is Lilith’s strongest protégé, so she casts a spell to burn all of Eda’s wanted posters around them. For one day Eda won’t have to hide from the law because she wants to see how good a teacher her sister is.
“Who wants to place bets? My money’s on the green girl,” Stan said
“I’m not sure anyone’s gonna take that bet. No offense!” Wendy quickly corrected herself.
“No. None taken,” Luz said.
“Fine. Then I’ll just be the bookie,” Stan responded.
“I’ll take that action,” Isabella chirped.
“Really?” the human witch questioned.
“Always bet on the long odds,” she spoke confidently. “In fact, I’m sure that she’ll at least tie.”
“Done,” Stan wrote it down.
Eda: Come on, kid. Time to prepare for bloodshed.
Luz: But... whose blood?
Eda: Anyone’s guess!
That got a few chuckles from the teens.
“That’s not very reassuring,” Isabella said.
“Eh, it’s the truth,” Eda shrugged.
Eda prepares Luz for the battle… only to realize she hasn’t taught her many spells.
Eda: Boy, I hope you didn't make an everlasting oath to stop learning magic or anything. You'd be toast.
The audience collectively breathed in with a wince.
Lilith and Amity are training nearby. They’re significantly more prepared.
There were a few audible gulps.
“That’s not good,” Jeremy said.
“Yeah, she’s gonna need a lot of luck,” Anne nodded grimly.
“Well, I believe in her!” Heinz said before leaning over to Stan and shoving a small pile of cash in his hands. “Put it all on Amity!” he whisper-shouted.
Eda refuses to lose to those snobs. Luckily, she has a plan.
There were a few eyebrows raised at that.
“Just what are you planning?” Dipper questioned.
“Oh, you’ll see,” the Owl Lady grinned.
They’re back in the theater. Luz and Amity are introduced to the crowd for the Witch’s Duel. The audience is skeptical of Luz’s talents.
“Wow. Humans really aren’t popular here,” Polly noted.
“All this because we can’t do magic?” Mabel asked.
“That’s the biggest reason,” Gus answered. “Relations have also been bad ever since the torches and pitchforks started. The prejudice became mutual after that.”
“But you could say they’re getting better now,” Willow smiled with a glance at Luz.
Eda: You see those mounds? Get Amity to land on one of those and she'll set off my magic traps.
“Ah, you’re gonna cheat!” Stan grinned, rubbing his hands together.
“And with landmines. That’s a new one,” Doof nodded in approval.
“Um… she’ll be fine, right?” Mabel asked.
“She’s magic, Sweety,” Stan reasoned before leaning over to Eda with a whisper. “Do not say no.”
The Clawthorne nodded in agreement.
“This is a bad idea,” Polly said flaky.
Eda: Nobody will know. To all eyes up there it'll look like you're performing magic. Just trust me.
Luz: But I will know in my heart! Even if I win now, I lose.
Eda sighed.
“I’m sorry, Luz. I should have prepared you more for this.”
“It’s okay, Eda.”
A bell rings and screams. Luz, still nervous, and Amity, confident, approach each other as the audience cheers. Amity cracks her knuckles. Luz waves.
Everyone watched in anticipation, wondering how it would go.
Amity summons an abomination that towers over them both. Even Amity is surprised by it.
There was a wide range of gulps. Dipper and Candace however eyed the gargantuan abomination in suspicion.
“She looks surprised,” Dipper noted.
“That abomination is way bigger than it’s supposed to be,” she agreed.
Abomination throws it’s head at Luz and just misses. She’s backed against the wall and sinks to the ground in fear, whimpering. Then she gets nervous when she realizes she's right in front of one of Eda's mounds.
“What kind of traps did you put there anyway?” Isabella asked.
Eda couldn't help but laugh. She was proud of her work. Sue her!
She braces as the abomination steps on it. The abomination looks down as a towering jet of fire erupts from the mound.
“You put fire?!” everyone exclaimed.
In the Owl House, the Blights flinched and moved closer to Amity.
Amity: How did you do that?
Luz: I, uh— (She does jazz hands) Magic?
That got a few chuckles despite the tense situation.
King: ♪ Things that are free ♪ ♪ People are giving offerings to me! ♪ [ Reaches Willow and Gus. ] I love offerings! What did I miss?
“Wha- You weren’t even there for the start of the fight? You’re the reason she’s doing it in the first place!” Vanessa scolded.
King just tried to hide himself in his seat. Even Perry was shaking his head.
The steaming abomination steps onto another mound, this one producing a current of air strong enough to launch it and Amity into the air.
Heinz suddenly grew nervous as Isabella shot him a smug grin.
Amity saw that Luz didn’t use her hands and questions what she’s getting at.
Luz: Not dying!
That earned a few chuckles.
“Heh heh. Aren’t we all,” Hop Pop went.
The abomination chases Luz again and King heads down to see the action. A student cheers on Amity.
King: Hey! You root for Luz or nobody!
“Aw,” Luz hugged King. “I love you too, buddy.”
As the duel continues, King falls. Amity has Luz cornered and is about to stand on a mound, so Luz tries to warn her.
The audience couldn't help but smile at Luz’s actions. Even though she and Amity were rivals, she didn’t want her to get hurt.
King screams as he falls flat on his back, directly on the mound. Spikes burst from the ground, forcing Luz and Amity back several steps.
King: Mmm? I'm okay!
Luz: Spikes?
“SPIKES?!” everyone shouted at the top of their lungs.
“Eda, what were you thinking?!” Hop Pop screamed.
“I was thinking that she’d win.”
Amity and Lilith realize that Luz and Eda have been cheating, meaning they lose. Luz tries to explain that she didn’t want this, but Amity refuses to believe her.
“This hurts to watch,” Sprig winced.
There were murmurs and nods of agreement at this.
“Yes! I won my bet!” Doofenshmirtz cheered.
“Of course you bet against her,” Wendy sighed while Isabella frowned.
“Well, you gave it your best shot, but it’s time to pay the piper, young lady,” Heinz grinned. “Nothing you can do now but-”
Just as she’s walking away, Eda notices something on the black of Amity’s neck. She proceeds to pull it off and the abomination shrinks down to the size of Amity’s knee and crumbles.
Eda: A power glyph from the Construction Coven.
The audience gasped.
“Of course!” Candace slapped her head.
“That’s why her abomination was so much bigger than it was supposed to be! She had a literal powerup,” Anne said.
Polly gasped in amazement.
“I want one of those!”
“Polly, no,” her entire family responded.
“You’re terrifying enough already,” Sprig admitted.
“And I wanna be more terrifying.”
“You know, I kinda wanna see that,” King said.
“Me too,” Eda grinned.
“Oh boy,” Anne went.
“Wait-wait! So who wins the bet?” Doofenshmirtz questioned nervously.
“Well, they both cheated, so I guess that means it’s a draw,” Stan shrugged.
“Meaning I win,” Isabella smirked.
Heinz gulped before handing the girl her money.
Eda: Ah-ha! Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes! You cheated. Perfect, prissy Lilith cheated. Hot dang, I love coventions! La-la-la—
Lilith: I only did that because I knew you would cheat!
Eda: Still cheated! Welcome down to my level!
Everyone laughed at the exchange.
“Oh, you two are definitely sisters,” Mabel snickered.
“This should be some fun bickering,” Stan cackled.
“Get the popcorn out! This is gonna be great!” Ginger called out.
“Gosh, this is so satisfying to see,” Candace wiped away a tear.
Amity: But... I didn't know!
She sees Luz approaching and runs. Luz helps King down, ripping his offerings in the process, and runs after her.
Lilith sighed and buried her head in shame. Then she looked Amity in the eye.
“I’m sorry, Amity. I should have had trust in you, but I let my rivalry with Edalyn get in the way,” she started, her former pupil watching with rapt attention. “I know this is very late, but I mean every word of it. And if it helps, you were the absolute best student I ever had.”
The young Blight girl just blinked and looked down in thought.
Eda is dancing around Lilith in mockery.
Lilith: Knock it off. You're making a scene!
Eda: You cheated. Hey, where's the Rhyming Coven? What rhymes with "cheated"?
The audience laughed some more.
Lilith: Stop acting like a child!
Eda: You were defeated, don't get heated, get your stank face treated.
The audience laughed even harder.
“Ooh! I’ve got one!” Mabel raised her hand like she was in class. “You better get seated, your loss is completed, or else it’ll be repeated!”
“PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Eda laughed loudest among the others. “I love you.”
Mabel smiled brightly.
Lilith: Rhyme one more thing. I dare you!
Eda: Oh, it's okay, I'm done. (Pause) Because my rhymes are depleted!
“AYOOOOOOO!” Mabel cheered as everyone laughed. “You are a queen!
Lilith: (Screaming) That's it!
Lilith summons her staff and hits Eda with a blast of energy, throwing her through her spikes and into the wall behind the dais. Everyone gasps.
So did the audience. Then they winced.
“Huh. I wondered when she was gonna snap,” Vanessa said.
“That looked like it hurt,” Hop Pop pulled a face.
“It did, but it was worth it,” Eda grinned.
“Preach it, Clawthorne,” Stan nodded.
The cloud of Lilith's blue magic clears out and Eda, splayed against the wall, smirks.
Eda: There she is!
“This was your plan all along,” Dipper realized. “You were trying to get her to act out.”
Eda shot him a finger gun.
“Right on the money, Kid. That right there is the sister I know.”
Perry eyed the scene carefully. He was very interested to see how combat worked between two such powerful Witches.
She summons her own staff and spins it in a circle only for it to fly out of her hand and clatter on the ground. She picks it back up with a roar and sends a burst of energy at Lilith. Lilith grunts and sends one back.
Student: Witch’s duel!
“LET’S GOOOOOOO!” Sprig cheered, jumping onto the top of his seat and banging on the backrest like a drum.
“Oh, this is gonna be awesome!” Heinz beamed.
“Yeah! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan shouted.
“Show this cop who’s boss, lady!” Wendy called out.
“Take her down!” Polly cried.
“Go Grauntie Eda!” Mabel raised her fists in the air.
“Go Lilith,” Dipper found himself whispering.
Lilith's blue magic and Eda's yellow magic are evenly matched, and explode in a white light.
Everyone gasped. They knew that these two sisters were powerful, but this isn’t quite what they expected.
It was better.
Luz sees Amity sulking in a dark corner next to the bathrooms. She tries to apologize, saying that she didn’t mean to embarrass her.
Amity: That's all you ever do! First at school, and now this!
There were a few painful groans at this. They knew she wasn’t wrong.
Amity: You made me look like a fool in front of the Emperor's Coven. My future! You think it's so easy to be a witch. I have been working my whole life to get to the top! You lost! You cheated! Say it! Say you're not a witch!
Luz sighed at this memory. And not the smitten one she’d been doing lately. She knew even then that she deserved every word of what Amity said. Regret filled her thoughts as she watched the scene unfold.
What she didn’t know was that in the other room, Amity was feeling the same thing.
Luz: (Looks at the ground) I'm not a witch.
She kneels down, pulling out a notepad and pencil. Amity looks confused as she kneels down with her. Luz slowly draws and casts the light glyph, gently cupping the ball of light produced, smiles at it, and holds it up to Amity.
Luz: But I'm training hard to be one.
Amty stares at it in awe.
“She’s impressed,” Candy blinked.
“Can you blame her? I don’t think anyone’s seen magic done with paper before,” Katie said.
Back to Eda and Lilith's duel, the older sister is spinning her staff. When Eda's attack stops, she pushes her hand forward, her spell circle turning into a burst of magic.
The audience’s eyes widened, their full attention on the fight before them. Even Dipper was so transfixed by what he was seeing that he wasn’t even taking notes!
No. All eyes were on the clawthorne sisters and they knew it.
Eda takes a few steps back, spinning and drawing a spell circle on the ground. She lifts her hand, creating a growing pillar of wood that splits Lilith's attack. The pillar bends, its owl face hooting lowly.
Everyone gaped at the sight.
“Coolest. Grauntie. Ever!” Mabel whispered.
“That’s our Mom,” King said quietly.
“That’s our Mom,” Luz nodded in agreement.
Lilith stares at it, then teleports away from its approaching beak.
“Woah!” the audience went.
“SHE CAN TELEPORT?!” Dipper cried in astonishment. “That is… wow… just wow…”
Eda tilted her head at this. After a moment of observing the boy, she couldn’t help but grin.
Looks like Lily’s interest is mutual.
Stray magic enters the audience, who scream and flee. Two new owl faces extend from the large pillar. Eda draws four more spell circles on the opposite side. Lilith easily teleports away from all of their beaks, destroying one on the ground, then three in the air with a grunt.
“Look at her go!” Phineas beamed. “Ferb! We’ve got to replicate that!”
His brother pulled out some freshly drawn blueprints for just the device.
“You’re always one step ahead of me,” the boy praised.
Eda smirks and spins her staff, creating a yellow shield as Lilith hits it with magic and her staff. The shield cracks, but Eda's expression doesn't change. Owlbert's eyes glow and he flies into Lilith's face, interrupting her attack, and pulls her hair.
That got a few laughs from the tricksters in the group.
“Ouch. That’s gotta hurt,” Isabella winced.
“You’re fighting dirty, Clawthorne,” Stan smirked.
“We’re sisters. It’s what we do,” she smiled.
Eda’s shield falls.
Eda: Say goodnight, sister.
She spins her staff and smacks the butt of it into the wooden pillar. A large owl's face forms right next to Lilith, and with a hoot, it captures her in its beak. All falls silent.
The audience gasped.
“Is she…” Mabel began.
“No,” Anne shook her head. “This isn’t over yet.”
Everything was still as the audience waited in anticipation for what came next.
Owlbert lands back on Eda's staff. She smiles at him, then looks concerned when she sees the flaming hole in the new owl tube's side. Lilith appears directly behind her.
Lilith: Enough of this.
It was at that moment that everyone knew what was about to happen. That this duel was gonna end right here. And they knew just who was going to win.
Eda gasps and is thrown into the wall with a scream, leaving a crater. Lilith smirks and spins her staff, clearly the victor.
The room was silent. And then…
“Holy mackerel, what a fight!” Stan beamed.
“That was amazing!” Polly cheered.
Perry nodded in agreement. In all his years and missions as an agent, he’d never seen fighting like that. The platypus wasn’t sure he’d be able to take her on.
The Pines boy stared up at the Witch in awe. Then he bowed his head and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Wendy.”
“What for, man?”
“You’re not the coolest person I know anymore.”
The elder Clawthorne smirked in proud satisfaction upon hearing that. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to savor this moment. Then she frowned and looked down at her hands sadly. She cast a spell circle and an ice cube hit the floor, causing Lilith to let out a sigh.
I can barely cast any spells now. Will he even look at me that way when he finds out?
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see it was Amity’s.
“Hey. I know you’ve lost a lot of your power, and are probably thinking that you’re useless right now. But you need to know that you’re still cool. And no one here thinks that you’re useless.”
Lilith just stared at her for a few moments before a touched smile came across her face.
Eda: Lily, wait. The curse.
Lilith immediately stops, all her magic vanishing in an instant.
The audience immediately put all their focus on Eda.
Eda: Look at me. Look at my face. The curse is worsening and I can't keep up with it. I don't know how much time I have left.
Everyone gasped. Then they turned to the Owl Lady in question. They carefully looked her over, searching for signs of her ailment.
“Your hair,” Baljeet realized. “It’s because of the curse.”
Lilith: I'll admit I was surprised when I first saw you today.
Eda: I just had to see my sister for... possibly the last time.
“No…” Mabel shook her head. “No, no, no! I won’t let that happen to you. I’m going to devote earning all my patches to finding something to help you1”
“Aw~!” Luz smiled at the sight.
Eda just chuckled and pet the young girl’s hair softly.
“I appreciate that, Kid, but I’m okay now. Really.”
Lilith: Eda, I-
She screams as a bag of Hex Mix is thrown in her face.
Eda: (Running for the exit) It's been fun, but let's call it a draw!
Everyone else laughed while the family of three blinked.
“Was she… was Aunt Lilith going to tell you?” King asked.
“I… I think she was,” Eda said, stunned by just how close she was to learning the truth then.
“We really need to work on our communication as a group,” Luz sighed.
Amity scoffs, saying a child could do a light spell. But upon seeing Luz’s sad expression, she admits she’s never seen it cast like that. After hearing how Luz has had to improvise, she casts the everlasting oath again and takes Luz’s hand through it.
Amity: The oath is unbound.
The audience blinked in surprise at the Blight girl’s actions.
“Well, how about that,” Gretchen said.
Luz: Did it work? Can I still learn magic?
Amity: Humans have no magical ability. But I doubt that'll stop you.
Luz blinked. This was it. This was the moment that started their relationship. Before they were on pretty bad terms and Amity was a bully. But this was the point where everything diverged. Now instead of a sour lemon drop, Amity was her Sweet Potato.
And it was all because of this one interaction
“I think she just complimented you,” Mabel smiled.
“We’ll see, Mabel,” Candy narrowed her eyes doubtfully. “We’ll see.”
“She’s at least given Luz her respect. It’s a start,” Anne reasoned.
King: Luz! You left me!
Luz: Yeah, sorry. Your legs are just so tiny.
That got a few snickers.
“And they’re just so cute!” Isabella gushed.
Luz asks if they should get him more offerings. No, that stuff just weighed him down. But he has something for Luz, and it's the best thing because it's free, comes from his heart, and he always has more than he needs.
“Is it love?” Mabel and Isabella asked.
Luz: (Gasps) Is it love?
King: Ugh! No! [ Reaches behind him. ] Tote bags! (Puts it on Luz's arm and hops in) And they have so many uses! Away, fair chariot! Away!
“Of course that’s the angle you’d take,” Tambry couldn’t help but smile while the others laughed.
“Why didn’t I ever think of that?” Polly questioned.
Eda meets up with them and they have to leave while the older woman tries to make puns about her escape from Lilith. Luz asks Eda if she thinks she'll ever be a true witch?
Eda: What? I don't know. And who's a true witch? These suckers? According to them, that means being in a coven, but I never joined one and I'm better than all of them combined. You gotta be your own witch.
Luz: (Brightens) My own witch.
Everyone smiled, agreeing with the Witch.
“Wise words,” Clawthorne,” Hop Pop praised.
“Thanks, Plantar.”
Eda: Now, let's go before my sister realizes I tied her pointy shoes together.
Lilith screams, so they run off with Luz having more questions about Eda’s mysterious past.
All the siblings cackled at the sisters’ antics.
“I know you two have your issues, but your sister is cool. Like really cool,” Dipper said.
“Hey, I don't blame you. She really is,” Eda smiled.
“Cool Aunt Lilith,” Luz whispered.
Lilith enters her dressing room, tripping over her tied laces.
Lilith: You make it so hard to want to help you, Edalyn.
The audience tilted their heads.
Wait, did she join the Emperor’s Coven to help Eda? Candace questioned internally.
That’s when she gets a call form Kikimora, who scolds her for letting Eda get the best of her temper.
Kikimora: Just remember what the Emperor has promised to you.
Lilith: I will capture her, ma'am. You have my word.
Kikimora: Very good.
Kikimora fades from the mirror, allowing Lilith's reflection to appear.
Lilith: Your days are numbered, Edalyn.
The audience exchanged nervous looks.
“Who is this Emperor?” Dipper asked.
The Owl House had varying expressions of anger and fear at the very thought of that vile excuse for a man. The absolute hatred could be felt from across the room.
“I don’t think there’s much we can say right now,” Luz said. Unlike the others, she was just tired. All Belos did now was make her tired. She was done with him and glad of it.
“Well, whoever he is, he’s definitely your guys’ main villain. The Emperor’s always the main villain in these things,” Anne said.
“And he clearly in charge here,”
“I’d bet everything I have on him being the one behind the Coven System,” Candace said.
“That’ll have to wait for another time,” the host cut in. “We have two more episodes left before we’re done for the day and I feel like we’ve been sitting on this one for months.”
Hooty’s Moving Hassel
Eda and Owlbert stare each other down as they play Hexes Hold’em.
Eda: Watch closely, Luz. Hexes Hold'em is the most tricky game on the Boiling Isles. Any proper witch knows how to play.
Owlbert nearly wins, but Eda’s wildcard annihilates his hand.
“Really? This looks interesting,” Stan smirked.
“I love cards! Can you teach me how to play?” Mabel asked.
“Sorry, Kid. But my days of Hexes Hold’Em are behind me,” Eda shook her head.
Eda: Woo, I win! In your adorable owl face. Ah, I love the feeling of victory; it feels... fluffy?
Feathers start growing from her arms. It’s the curse!
The audience gasped.
“Oh no!” everyone went.
“You need that elixir, quick!” Polly said.
The elixir bottles are all empty.
Luz: Uh, last time this happened, you turned into this thing.
She holds up her phone, showing a picture of the Owl Beast on screen.
Eda: I know I should be repulsed, but that look is fierce.
“Dang right you are! Whoop! Whoop!” Mabel cheered.
“The perfect way to intimidate your enemies,” Polly beamed.
“I’m kinda jealous, actually,” Stacy added.
Eda grinned at all this.
Time to go to the market.
King: I'm stealing everything that's not nailed down!
“I like your plan, little guy,” Stan praised as everyone laughed.
“Be sure to steal the nail too,” Wendy joked, earning more laughs.
“Ha! My mother used to say something like that.”
“Really?” Dipper raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah. Caryn Pines is one heck of a kleptomaniac. She’d steal anything she could get her hands on,” Stan praised his mother animatedly. “Mostly small things like watches and stuff. Taught me how too.” The he sighed sadly and mumbled, “I really need to visit her.”
Eda: Before we go, would anyone like to play one more hand of Hexes Hold'em? Hey, where are my cards?
Luz gives them to Owlbert so he can fly ahead and Eda will have to follow.
The audience snickered.
“Good move,” Heinz nodded.
They arrive at Morton’s and Luz does some people watching. They use a giant egg as a bus.
“How did…” Baljeet began.
“It’s best not to question it,” Luz said.
“Just when I thought this place couldn’t get any weirder,” Anne mentioned.
Tiny Nose misses it.
Luz: The curse of tiny legs.
King: I know the pain.
As everyone laughed, Perry looked down at his own feet and couldn't help but agree.
“Yeah well, at least you have legs,” Polly complained. “I’ve been forced to spend the first six years of my life like this!” she gestured down at herself. Sure, she had legs now, but the others couldn’t see them.
“Gee, sure is nice to have legs,” Heinz said with a teasing grin.
“Especially long ones,” Wendy joined in.
“Being tall certainly helps.”
“Wait, how tall are you actually?” Anne asked.
“I’m 6ft’2. I slouch.”
Demon Hunters pass by. Dangerous nomads who capture and sell the most powerful beasts. Which Eda is about to become if Morton doesn't open up.
“Why is the screen focusing on them so much?” Polly asked.
“Best not to think about it,” Hop Pop frowned.
“I feel like this is gonna come back later!” she argued.
Morton: Sorry, Eda! I was up all night poison tasting and for some reason, I don't feel great.
“Yeah, duh,” Candace said flatly while everyone winced.
“Why would he think that was a good idea?” Dipper questioned.
Luz bumps into Willow and Gus. They’re down because Amity’s having a moonlight conjuring and invited everyone but them.
“What’s a moonlight conjuring?” Mabel asked.
The three friends grinned.
“I’ll allow our past selves to explain it,” Gus spoke grandiosely.
A moonlight conjuring is a weird slumber party where kids bring something to life with moon magic. They need three people, which they soon realize they are.
“That sounds fun!” Phineas beamed.
“So, you could make any toy come to life?” Sprig asked with a wide grin.
“Basically,” Gus responded.
“But only once a year,” Willow explained.
“Once or not, the applications are massive,” Baljeet added, his mind working a mile a minute.
“Does size make a difference? Does it need to be small or can it be huge?” Polly asked.
The three teens shared a look before Gus answered her.
“Size is not an issue, no.”
“Awesome.”
Boscha: Sorry you couldn't get an invite to the conjuring, Willow. Only real witches allowed.
Amity: Leave her alone. It's not her fault she was born without talent.
Willow begins to grow thorny vines out of anger.
Everyone either glared at the bullies or shot Willow concerned looks.
“Hey. Their idiots,” Wendy said sternly.
“Yeah. You’re a boss, Willow,” Anne added.
“The only thing making them look stronger than you, is their cruel words. I’m sure you’d be able to tear them apart no problem,” Isabella argued, earning nods from the others.
Willow smiled gently at their kind words.
Luz tells her not to get thorny ‘cause they’re having their own moonlight conjuring.
Gus: Are you serious? This was on my bucket list. After owning a real human bucket!
Luz: That's a really weird thing to want, but I appreciate your enthusiasm.
That earned a few laughs from the audience.
“You want a bucket, eh?” Stan grinned.
“Don’t you dare try to scam my friend,” Luz glared at him.
Unfortunately, Moton is out of elixirs until next week. And Eda’s been too busy to buy some earlier.
King: Yeah, busy playing Hexes Hold'em. She's obsessed with it.
Eda: I am not obsessed!
King: You're playing it right now!
Several cards are now splayed out on the counter, and Eda has one in hand.
Eda: Am I winning?
That got a few chuckles, but not from everyone.
“Okay, this was funny at first, but now I’m a little worried,” j
Eda just sighed.
Morton wouldn’t normally suggest this, but there’s a guy that goes by Grimm Hammer at the night market. He’ll have what she needs.
“Why wouldn’t he normally suggest him?” Ivy asked.
“Must be shady even by underworld standards,” Stan guessed.
“So, he isn’t trustworthy?” Anne questioned.
“Not like she really has a choice.”
“He’s right, Anne. Eda needs that elixir, so it’s worth the risk,” Hop Pop reasoned.
Luz runs in to tell her about the moonlight conjuring, but unfortunately Eda needs her to watch the house and her precious objects.
King: Like me!
“Fair point. This little guy sure is precious,” Isabella said as she reached over to rub his belly, causing his leg to involuntarily kick repeatedly.
“He’s too cute not to protect!” Mabel gushed in agreement.
Eda: You're coming with me. I need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets, and an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.
Eda and King: Pickpocket!
“Pickpocket!” the mother and son cheered.
“We should go pickpocketing later! For old times sake,” King wagged his tail in joy.
Perry just shook his head, though he wasn’t that upset with his student.
“You know, it would be nice to have an extra pair of hands the next time I do that. But who?” Stan thought aloud.
“You’re not gonna teach your niece?” Eda asked.
“Look Clawthorne, as much as I love my Ma, I don’t want to accidentally turn on that family kleptomania in my niece. I’m sure her mother’s and grandmother’s genes have canceled it out, but that’s one bet I’m not willing to take.”
Eda doesn’t allow her to bring her friends over instead, claiming conjurings are baby magic. So, when they ask if she said yes, Luz lies that she did.
The audience winced.
“And there it is. Another moment where one of us decides to lie because we think it’s smart,” Dipper sighed.
“I’m just glad we’ve learned our lesson by now,” Anne added.
“Really wish it wasn’t painful though,” Candace winced, remembering the waterpark she and Jeremy went to.
“At least we learned,” Luz said.
“If only the rest of the world didn’t have to,” Gus lamented.
“Agreed,” Mabel bowed her head.
Later that night, Eda is about to leave.
Luz: You can count on me; I'd never betray your hard-earned trust.
She laughs nervously.
Eda: You're acting suspicious. You're doing that thing where you hide in your hoodie.
Luz: (hiding in her hoodie) Meow I’m not.
Amity practically melted at the sight. She let out an “aw” and sighed in content.
“I could watch that all day,” she said aloud before realizing she wasn’t alone and blushed brightly.
Anne giggled at Luz’s tell.
Pretty sure Marcy does the same thing, she thought fondly.
Luz: Oh, where’s King?
Eda: He’s right here. (She opens her cloak to reveal King, snoring, strapped in a pink baby carrier) His little body just conks out when he's weightless. Look at this.
She moves side to side, King not waking as he moves like a ragdoll.
Luz: (playing with his feet) Aww, he's so dangly.
King’s eyes widened, mortified at the sight as the others either laughed or cooed.
“EEEDAAAAAAA!” the little guy whined at the top of his lungs, earning more cackles.
Perry tried his best not to laugh, but a snort managed to escape, leading him to cover his bill. Polly meanwhile had no such qualms and just laughed heartilly.
“Oh my gosh, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” all the Fireside Girls said, covering their mouths from the sweetness.
“Wanna see it right now?” Eda beamed.
“Weh?”
“Yes!”
“Weh?!”
Eda then picked him up by the scruff, dangling him in the air.
“EDA! Stop embarrassing… meeee… zzzzzzzzzz…”
The baby Titan was now fast asleep, making those most susceptible to cuteness to melt. Even the teens from Gravity Falls thought he was cute. And of course, Dipper wrote that bit of information down just in case he ever needed it.
Heinz meanwhile rubbed his chin as he stared at the King’s sleeping form analytically.
Eda threatens that if Luz messes up the house, she will never trust her again.
The audience gulped, the room filling with tension.
Eda: No pressure! Byeeeeee!
And that tension was instantly gone, being replaced by mirth instead.
Willow and Gus arrive after hiding in bushes she conjured. Hooty excitedly begins to tell a story about a sparrow flying into his mouth when they close the door. He then coughs out the sparrow and it flies away.
The audience gaped at the sight before turning to the Owl in stunned silence.
“Sparrows sure are delicious. But you know what else are? Snails! Hoot!” Then he seemed to notice Bessy for the first time and licked his lips.
The Plantars sucked in a breath and hugged their snail protectively. The Fireside Girls quickly joined in
“DON’T YOU TOUCH HER!” Hop Pop screamed.
“SHE IS NOT A SNACK!” Anne and Mabel yelled together.
Luz: Welcome to… the living room. We call it that because it's technically living! The walls are breathing, look.
“How does that even…” Baljeet began.
“Let’s not try to understand it,” Stan sighed.
The party is all set! But how does the conjuring work? Willow explains that first they need an object to animate. They settle on a buff boy toy. Then they hold hands in a circle around the object and say the incantation to make the connection with it.
Dipper eagerly wrote all this down. However, he paused half way through and his face scrunched up in thought.
“Wait a minute… incantation?”
Willow and Gus: Moonlight, we call, we sing. Moonlight take this chance. Moonlight come tie the string. Moonlight start the dance!
Luz isn’t able to follow.
The three of them facepalmed at that.
“That’s why it happened,” Luz groaned.
“No, it’s my fault. I should have told you the incantation beforehand,” Willow said.
The Pines boy flipped through the pages of Journal 3 until he found the one he was looking for and read the passage over again and again. Then he flipped to another page. And another. He looked between the pages and what he was seeing on screen.
“Uh, what’s about to happen that has you all frustrated?” Jeremy asked.
The moon continues rising. Hooty looks up at it. The moon stops moving, and a burst of blue light comes out of it. A similar burst of blue light bursts out from between Willow, Luz, and Gus, spreading around the living room and extinguishing the candles.
The audience watched in fascinated anticipation.
“Did it work?” Lee asked after a moment of silence.
Hooty’s eyes turn the same blue as the moon magic and he rises up with the entire house standing on two legs. They animated the house by accident!
Everyone gasped.
“You animated the house!” half the people exclaimed.
“That is so cool!” Phineas praised.
“And it affected Hooty too!” Grenada shouted.
“Why though? I know he’s connected to the house, but it’s not like he…” Anne started before the answer dawned on her. It seemed to reach the others too, as they all had the same looks as her.
“Hooty… is the Owl House?” Baljeet questioned.
“Yep. That’s me. Hoot!”
“The legs… the lungs in the living room… it all makes sense,” Ivy said.
“I think we had it all wrong, dudes,” Soos began. “All stuff we’ve been seeing: the houses, lockers, bells, and that one trap; they’re not tools that are alive. They’re demons being used as tools!”
“Soos, I think you’re onto something,” Dipper said and he thought the big man’s words over, cupping his chin before nodding in agreement.
“Of course!” Marcy slapped her forehead in the other room. The young girl was brimming with excitement. “They use living organisms in place of certain technologies. It’s just like the Yuuzhon Vong! My all-time favorite villains from Star Wars Legends.”
“Oh my gosh, I love the Vong!” Terri squealed. “I remember when those books first came out. Gosh, I was what? 8?”
“What do you make of all this? Considering that you are a Witch,” Grime asked Maddie.
“Hmmm… the main thing about a Witch is that we use what’s in our environment to do magic. Since living things are part of that environment, it makes sense that that’s what’s happening in the Boiling Isles,” the Flour girl reasoned.
They nearly fall off the house while Hooty continues to walk around in a trance. But he stops when they hold hands and Luz tells him to.
Willow: We're controlling it with the power of friendship. Uh, and the moon. Probably the moon.
“I’m gonna go with friendship,” Mabel smiled.
“Agreed,” the rest of the Fireside Girls went.
“Hold on, I’m confused,” Tambry said.
“Me too,” Vanessa added.
“About what?” Luz asked.
“”I thought humans couldn’t do magic,” Tambry answered.
“You can’t,” Eda said. “Aside from glyphs, potions, staffs and anything handmade, there’s no magic you can do.”
“So, how was Luz able to help with the moonlight conjuring?” Vanessa questioned.
The Owl House group blinked. Then they shared looks with each other before bowing their heads in thought.
“Huh. That is… a good question,” the Owl Lady admitted.
“One that I don’t think we have an answer to,” Gus said.
“But if I didn’t conjure magic from within me, then… how?” Luz wondered.
“I think… I have a theory for that.” Everyone turned to see Dipper looking over the Journal one more time before facing them. He looked like he’d been thinning this over for a while now, and what had to say could be huge based upon the look on his face.
“Dipper?” Candace went.
“I think I’ve stumbled upon something big. Something that may have major ramifications going forward. But I have one question first. Did you guys cast any spell circles that we didn’t see before doing the ritual?”
“No. We just held hands and said the words,” Willow answered, curious about where he was going.
“Okay then. I think I know what’s going on,” he nodded. “Incantations are magic that can be done by humans. Probably anyone under the right circumstances.”
The audience stared at the boy in silence. It was a full minute before anyone spoke again.
“That… makes sense,” Gus said.
“We didn’t cast any of our own magic. We used the magic from the moon and spoke the incantation. And even though Luz said it wrong and the spell missed, it still worked,” Willow thought aloud.
“Wait, Dipper, how are you so sure about this?” Candace asked.
“I’m sure because the Journal has incantations in it,” he said, revealing a passage from Journal 3.
“What’s this?” Candace questioned, leaning in to read it. “Wait, a chant to dispel ghosts? ‘Exodus demonus, spookus scarius aianafraidus no ghostus, bumpus goosus shamalaaan.’ Seriously?”
“There are more incantations in here, and I know for a fact that they work,” he nodded.
“You’re just bringing this up now?”
“I wasn’t sure it was a spoiler yet.”
The Flynn girl nodded at that. Then she looked back at the incantation and grinned wickedly.
“Oh, we are using this tonight!”
“Those ghosts won’t know what hit them!” Mabel grinned.
“So, there’s been magic on Earth that we could do this whole time?!” Luz exclaimed.
“Apparently so,” Dipper said.
Luz just gave an adorable pout.
“Luz?” Eda asked with a small laugh.
“I feel cheated,” she freely admitted.
On the one hand, they should probably stay put. On the other hand, they've got a giant walking house and should totally take it on a joyride! It’s clear which one they choose.
Eda just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Then she gave a light glare to the three teens, who smiled sheepishly at her.
“I’m disappointed in your actions but also proud of you for it.”
Eda arrives at the Night Market searching for Grimm Hammer.
“Woah! Look at that place. Now this is my kind of crowd,” Stan beamed.
“It looks a lot like the underground market in Gravity Falls,” Dipper whispered to Mabel, who nodded.
“Hey, Anne? Does this remind you of the Bizarre Bazaar?” Sprig asked.
“Oh, yeah. But a lot darker. Literally.”
The kids spot Boscha on a crow with her mom.
Boscha: Ugh! Yes, Mom. I'm going to a moonlight conjuring. No, Mom. You can't come. And yes, Mom, it's sad that you're asking.
“Well, that’s just rude,” Phineas said.
“Actually, this is pretty normal,” Tambry said. “Teens have these spats with clingy parents all the time.”
“She’s right,” Vanessa said, with a look towards her dad.
“Wait, why did you look at me just now?”
They then prank her with the house and she runs away screaming.
The audience burst into satisfied laughter.
“Gosh, she sure had that one coming,” Holly giggled.
“Justice is served. Even if it’s only a little bit,” Sprig said.
Luz looks at the moon and thinks they should head back, but then Amity updates her Penstagram.
Luz: "Shout out to my fellow witches. #Humans can bite it." (Gasps) Let's do it.
“Make her eat her words!”
“Yeah!” a lot of the other kids went.
In the Owl House, Amity slumped over in guilt. Seeing this, Emira frowned but then grinned a moment later. She knew exactly how to take her mind off this.
“Hey, Mittens? What exactly did you want your girlfriend to bite?”
Emira got exactly the reaction she was hoping for as Amity let out a very loud squawk and bushed like a tomato. What followed was the other Witches falling into fits of laughter.
Eda meets Grimm Hammer… a little pig demon. Tibblet-Tibblie Grimm Hammer the Third. AKA Tibbles.
King: (Laughs) He wants to be called that.
The snickers were immediate from all the viewers.
“What kinda name is Tibbles?” Polly laughed.
“No wonder Morton doesn’t normally recommend him. He’s a joke!” Doof cackled.
“And we thought this guy was gonna be intimidating,” Wendy said.
“And that outfit? Ha!” Candace laughed.
The ones who knew him were very much enjoying these comments.
He charges 1000 snails for a bottle of elixir.
Eda: What kind of game are you playing?
Tibbles: Capitalism. Where everyone wins, except you.
The humans in attendance tried and failed to hold in their laughter.
“Okay, that was a good one. I’ll give him that,” Stacy giggled.
“Opportunity and risk. That’s Capitalism for ya,” Stan nodded sagely.
Eda sees a deck of cards on his stand and challenges him to a game. She wins, she gets the elixir. If he wins, he gets something of hers.
“Uh oh,” the audience blinked.
“He’s baiting you, Clawthorne,” Stan warned.
“Yeah, I found that out the hard way,” Eda looked away.
The kids arrive just outside Blight Manor, ready to show Amity up.
“Oh, this is gonna be good,” Grenada grinned.
“Time to show that bully who’s really talented,” Candy added.
They’re about to march forward when they’re stopped by a giant rope over the roof. A giant crossbow fires another rope, securing the house. It’s the Demon Hunters!
The audience gasped in fear.
“Oh no!” many cried.
“What are they doing?! Hooty’s not a dangerous demon,”
The Clawthorne family snorted.
“That’s actually not true, but I get what you’re trying to say,” Luz said.
“They don’t care so long as they collect a reward. It’s all about the money for them,” Eda explained bitterly.
“That’s cruel,” Isabella frowned sadly.
“Cruel is their middle name.”
“Um, what are they gonna do to you three?” Heinz asked nervously.
Luz, Willow and Gus are tied up inside while the house is on the Demon Hunters’ wagon. Hooty tells them in his trance that they must hold hands to end this. Luz asks for Willow’s help but…
Willow: I'm sorry, Luz. You shouldn't ask me to help with anything.
Luz: Willow.
“Come on, let me in!” Hunter groaned as he pushed and pulled on the door knob. He really wanted to comfort Willow. Camila, Darius and Amity couldn’t help but smile at his devotion.
“Why don’t you just teleport?” the Blight asked.
That seemed that make him pause. A blush then rose up below his eyes and on his ears.
“Oh. Right. I forgot I could do that.”
Then he dashed forward in a golden light in hopes of breaching the door…
Only to crash right into it.
The Grimwalker hit the floor with a thud and groaned in pain. Darius and Camila wasted no time in comforting him and eased him up.
“That… shouldn’t have happened,” Raine said.
“I think the host’s magic is stronger than we anticipated,” Darius stated.
The Hunters stop and take them outside. They decide to sell Hooty to restaurants and throw the kids off the cliff.
“WHAT?!” everyone exclaimed. Though while most were horrified, Stan, Eda and Perry looked furious.
“Oh, that’s it,” Eda said in a dangerously even tone. “When I get back, I am going to tear those three apart piece by piece. No one hurts my kid and gets away with it.”
“Ya want some help with that? Stuff like this is where I draw the line,” Stan volunteered.
I want to give them a piece of my mind too, Perry wrote for them to read.
“Sounds like a plan,”the Witch grinned.
Tom: All righty, kids. Here's the end of your short little lives.
Gus: Wait! Wait! Wait Is this really what you wanna be doing with your life? Tossing kids from cliffs?
Tom: Actually, yes. It's been my dream since I was a boy.
The three of them look at him for a long moment.
So did the audience.
“…I have no words,” was all Candace could say.
Tom: I was a strange child. Whee!
Eda let out a growl that sent shivers down the audience’s spines.
“Uh, Grauntie Eda?” Mabel got her attention and pointed to her arms. The Owl Lady looked down to see feathers on her arms and casually pulled out a bottle of elixir, never once breaking her angry stare.
The kids scream as they fall but they get snagged by a branch.
There was a collective sigh in relief.
“Thank whoever for branches,” King said.
“I’ll drink to that,” Wendy nodded and took a large sip of her Pitt Cola.
Willow: Luz, I'm so sorry. You wanted to turn back but I just had to show off to Amity. The truth is she and I used to be friends.
Luz: Whaaat?
The shock was apparent throughout the theater.
“Whoa,” Stacy said.
“Dang,” Polly added.
“Dudes, I did not see that coming,” Soos finished.
“What happened?” Mabel asked sadly.
Willow: We played together as kids, but when she got her magical powers and I didn't, she stopped hanging out with me.
Everyone’s hearts went out to Willow in that moment.
“Just like that? Years of friendship thrown out the window over status?” the Pines girl questioned with a tear rolling down her cheek.
“That’s horrible,” Dipper said
“How can… how can she just do that like it was nothing?” Phineas asked, his mind not able to comprehend it.
“What kind of heartless monster does something like that?” Ivy went.
Odalia Blight, everyone who knew the true story thought at the same time.
Willow: I just wanted to prove to her that I was a powerful witch, too.
Luz: That's ridiculous. You helped bring a house to life. Amity doesn't know what she's talking about. Next to Eda, you're the most powerful witch I know.
“I’ll be frank with you, Kid. I’ve never seen someone as strong as you,” Stan praised.
“You’re on a whole other level, girlfriend,” Mabel added.
“I’m kinda jealous. I’m pretty fast and flexible, but I’ve got nothing on you,” Vanessa freely admitted.
“You’re awesome, Willow. And I think we’re all glad to know ya,” Sprig finished.
Every single comment brought another bit of warmth into Willow’s heart.
The tree can’t hold them much longer! But then Willow frees her hand and grabs the branch with her eyes glowing green.
The audience cheered at Willow’s actions.
“Oh, this is gonna be so cool to see!” Sprig climbed on top of his seat in excitement.
“You took the words right out of my mouth, Kid,” Stan said.
Eda and King stare at a flaming pile of cards.
King: Oof. That was painful to watch.
Eda: You card shark. You hustled me.
“I know we all saw this coming, but it still hurts to see it happen,” Luz sighed, burying her face in her hand. “Alright, what did you lose?”
“Um, well~…” Eda trailed off nervously with a sheepish laugh.
Looks like she forgot about his wild card. He chooses King as winnings. He’s always wanted a tiny servant to model baby clothes for him.
“KING?! You lost King?!”
“I thought I was gonna win!” Ed defended.
“You lost King!”
“I know, alright?! And I’m not proud of it,” the Owl Lady crossed her arms.
“Wow. You really had a problem with Hexes Hold’Em,” Anne commented.
Eda tries to cast a spell but her arm erupts in feathers.
The audience gasped.
“Oh no! He’s got you at your most vulnerable moment,” Soos panicked.
“Of all the possible times, why did it have to be this one?” Ivy winced.
“Well, at least it can’t get worse,” Hopediah said, earning flat looks from the others.
Tibbles snaps his fingers, conjuring chains which burst out of the ground to wrap around Eda and she falls to the ground.
Eda: You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.
That got a few chuckles from those in attendance.
Unfortunately, Tibbles knows who she is and plans to turn her in to the Emperor’s Coven.
“Nevermind,” Polly told her grandfather, who just bowed his head.
“What?! He’s gonna snitch? That’s breaking the one rule!” Stan accused.
“The rule?” Anne questioned.
“Don’t snitch on other criminals,” he explained.
“Oh, you mean like you,” she said, earning long ‘oooohs’ from the rest of the audience.
“Man, he had the deck stacked against you from the start. Figuratively and literally,” Jeremy said.
Tom: Yeah, they tried to fight back and they nearly got me. But you know, I handled it.
Demon Hunter 1: They were children, Tom.
“Pfft, ha ha ha!” the audience went.
“How pathetic do you have to be to brag about that?” Eda tried to calm down.
“Very,” Vanessa nodded.
Suddenly, the kids emerge with massive vines that wreck the Demon Hunters. They may be children, but they’re Witches! Powerful ones!
“Heck yeah, you are! Whoop, whoop!” Wendy cheered with everyone else joining in.
“Willow, take a bow!” Phineas praised.
As Willow got up and did exactly that, Hunter had an appreciative smile in the other room.
They get inside the house, join hands, and flee before Eda gets home.
Tom: "They're just children, Tom."
Everyone laughed again.
King is now wearing a sailor’s outfit for babies and Eda apologizes to him. She admits she has a problem and promises to stop playing Hexes Hold ‘Em.
“Aw, King. You look so cute in that sailor outfit,” Isabella gushed.
“Yeah, well you can forget it, sister. I’m never wearing that thing again,” King dismissed.
Eda just bowed her head in shame at the sight of her mistake.
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Mabel said compassionately, placing her hand on Eda’s arm. “These things happen. Would you like me to explain it?”
“Sure, Kid,” Eda chuckled. She just expected her to say something silly.
What she responded with took everyone off guard.
“Okay, so there’s this chemical called dopamine. It gets released in your brain whenever you do something that makes you happy, like eating or… adult things. And that’s just nature, like rabbits and fish and stuff. They need dopamine so that they want to eat and have babies.”
Everyone’s eyes widened as they watched Mabel of all people explain addiction in such a scientific way. Dipper especially was so surprised, his jaw had dropped at the word “chemical.”
The only one not surprised was Stan, who was looking at her proudly.
“Okay,” Eda blinked.
“But because humans, or Witches in this case, have access to all the things they want whenever they want it, it’s easy to overdo and have dopamine problems.” She paused upon seeing her twin’s face. “What? It’s not rocket science. And when I care about something, I learn it just as well as you do.”
“Fair-fair point,” he responded, still stunned, earning a few snickers from the audience.
“So, I wasn’t just being foolish?” Eda asked.
“Heck no! It’s like–okay, it’s like being diabetic. You can eat too much of this thing or that thing and eat wrong, so chemicals get all messed up in your liver. Then something clicked and now your diabetic forever.”
“Isn’t that what happened to your grandparents? You know, on your mom’s side?” Stan asked.
“Yes,” she nodded and turned back to her Graunty. “So, if you keep doing something too much, there’s a dopamine problem and you have to deal with that mess for life.”
“Wow,” was all Eda could say.
“I kinda thought she was filling a hole or something,” King mentioned.
“Well, who’s not trying to fill a hole,” Stan scoffed.
“Mabel, where did you learn all this?” Dipper asked, quite impressed with her.
“From me,” Stan answered. “She wanted to understand addiction, so told her what I know.”
“It was after my trip with the Smile Dip. I started getting cravings for it over the next few days, and wanted to know why.”
“But how did you know about all that?” the boy questioned.
“I told ya my mother was a kleptomaniac. That means she had an addiction to stealing. I wanted to understand that too when I was younger, so my brother and I read about it.”
“Huh.”
“Brother?” Candace questioned.
“Uh, yeah. I’m their great uncle, remember? Their grandpa’s my little brother,” he answered a bit evasively. What he didn’t mention was the brother he learned this with was actually Stanford.
King tries to get the elixir but Tibbles stops him. He’s also got more baby clothes for him.
Tibbles: I've got the cards stacked against you. And nothing can stop me. Nothing!
The Owl House steps on the stand, destroying everything.
Eda: Wait, what—Was that my house?
Everyone laughed at the sight of the teen’s shenanigans being Eda and King’s salvation.
“Oh, that was perfect,” Wendy wiped away a tear.
“That’s one way to save someone,” Anne cackled.
“Justice!” Candace cheered.
“Saved by a passing house. If things are gonna get this weird, maybe we should make some bingo cards,” Doofenshmirtz joked.
“Say, that’s not a bad idea,” Stan cupped his chin with a thinking grin.
“It’d certainly make our bets more unique,” Hop Pop added.
King gives Eda some elixir and they escape just as the stand falls apart and Tibbles vows revenge.
“I doubt we’ll actually see him again,” Baljeet said.
“Yeah, he feels more like a villain of the week than a nemesis,” Ginger agreed.
You’d be surprised, Luz thought.
The Owl House returns to its usual spot. The spell is finally over and everything is back to normal. Luz apologizes to Hooty, but he’s just glad to have been included.
“That was fun. What did we do again? Hoot!”
“Never change, Hooty,” Luz smiled.
Eda slams the door revealing herself and King.
Luz: Oh, boy.
Eda: You are so busted.
Candace and Vanessa fell into a fit of laughter.
“Of course you two are loving this,” Willow said.
“Come on, what did you expect?” Flynn smirked.
“Oof! There goes that trust,” Sprig winced.
Eda begins chastising her for holding a moonlight conjuring and animating her house. Her house! Willow and Gus step in taking full responsibility.
Luz: Hey, you didn't have to do that.
Willow: Yes, Luz. I did.
“You guys are the best friends I could ask for,” Luz pulled them in for a hug that the were eager to return. The others smiled at the sight.
Eda: Well, you're all guilty, so you'll all be punished by cleaning my house top to bottom.
“That’s it?” Ivy questioned.
“I’ll admit, that's a lot smaller than I was expecting,” Dipper said.
“And I think I know why. You knew what they were gonna do all along,” Stan said, surprising the audience.
“What?!” Luz exclaimed.
“And what gives you that idea?” Eda questioned sternly.
“Luz was being too obvious for someone as clever as you not to notice. So, you must’ve known what she was up to and let it happen.”
“…Alright, fine. It’s true.”
“Wha-.. but then… if you were fine wit me having my friends over, then why didn’t you say anything?” Noceda asked.
“I was kinda proud of you for sneaking behind my back. Granted, I was upset with you for trashing my house, but I figured the experience would be good for you in the end. Build that confidence and toughen yourself up, you know?”
Eda: And another thing… (They all gulp) That was totally amazing. And I'm so joining you for next year's conjuring. Now get to work.
Eda sighed and looked down at the illusion of her hand. Even if she didn’t need magic to do the incantation like the Pines boy thought, could she still do it without her hand? Would a prosthetic work the same, or would she not even be able to participate?
King: I can't believe they animated a whole house.
Eda: Yeah. You're right. That takes some powerful magic.
“It’s the magic of friendship. I know it!” Mabel beamed.
“I think Mabel’s right. I mean, what else would it be?” Isabella said.
“Probably just the moon,” Polly spoke flatly.
Luz still kinda wishes they got to show up Amity. Then it’s revealed that Amity and her friends couldn’t move a doll. And when they look on Penstagram to feel better, the feed has several people's posts showing off Willow, Luz, Gus, and the animated Owl House.
Amity and Boscha: What?!
“They did see it!” the kids cheered.
“They saw it?” the three friends questioned.
Huh. I wonder if this was another step in Amity and I’s relationship? Luz thought.
“How come Amity and her friends couldn’t animate the doll? If all you need is the moon and words, what went wrong?” Nate asked.
“Guess that means Mabel and Isabella are right,” Anne shrugged.
“Well, they don’t look like they’re really having fun together, so maybe they’re not actually good friends?” Mabel reasoned, ever hopeful for Amity’s redemption.
“And meanwhile, Luz, Willow and Gus are. Yes, that makes sense,” Dipper nodded in agreement, also hopeful.
“I’m sure you all have more to say, and there’ll be plenty of time later. Right now we have just one more episode to go, and then we can get to all the exciting things I have planned for today,” the host said and started the final episode for the day.
Lost in Language
Luz is reading Azura 5 to King and gushes about how Azura can befriend anyone, even her biggest rival.
Luz: I wish I had that kind of power.
King: Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.
“I don’t know about that. Befriending them seems pretty nice to me,” Heinz smiled and gave Perry a friendly elbow.
“Agreed,” Mabel said with her brother nodding in agreement, their thoughts drifting to the blonde in the other room.
King: Now keep reading. I've been sucked into your awful fandom.
“Aw, dang it! Now you’ve got King readying your flowery garbage,” Eda buried her face in her hands.
“Oh, really? ‘You shall not shan’t doeth no more harm,’ Azura callethed out,” King grinned.
“Noooo!”
“Hecate could only screech, screech as did she, for the screeching did worseneth.”
“Please stooooop!”
“Twice have I tarried at Tanabrack. Yet er’er have I kept my troth to thee, Azura,” Luz added grandiosely.
“Whyyyyyyyyyy!”
They find a basket on the door and bring it to the kitchen.
Eda: Probably an offering. Ah! Being the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles has its perks.
“First King and now Eda. What’s next? Is Luz gonna get offerings too?” Stan asked.
Do Amity’s kisses count as offerings? Luz wondered.
It’s actually a baby bat! King wants to eat it. Luz says no.
Eda: Witches eating babies is so 1693.
“Dear, God!” Candace yelled.
“Sweet Moses!” Stan cried.
“Oh my Frog!” Hop Pop screamed.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Mabel covered mouth.
“Hang on, there’s been no recorded instance of Witches eating babies in the Boiling Isles,” Eda cut in.
“Oh, thank goodness,” she exhaled.
“What about Baba Yaga? She had a walking house with bird feet like yours,” Dipper pointed out.
“I’m sure that’s just another case of human supersti-”
“That was me!”
Everyone froze and slowly turned to face the House Demon, who had his normal expression like it was nothing.
“What?” Eda blinked.
“I was Baba Yaga’s house. Hoot!”
Everyone just stared at him in silence for a long time.
“Did you… did she actually-”
“Stop,” Luz cut in. “Believe me, we don’t want to know the answer to that question. It’s either true, or something not as horrific but equally as disgusting.”
Everyone decided to agree with that.
They find a note from the Bat Queen asking to take care of her child till morning, and they’ll be handsomely rewarded.
Eda: Bat Queen? (her eyes widen gleefully at the snails in the basket) Reward?
“Ha! Look at how brightly your eyes are shining at that money! And you called me predictable?” Stan laughed with the others.
“Money is money, Pines.”
The Bat Queen is the wealthiest demon on the Boiling Isles. Get in with her and you're set for life. So, they keep this thing alive for a few hours and get paid. Sounds easy. Luz however, is instructed to return Eda’s books to the library.
Eda: (To King) I don't want her getting a cut of the loot.
King: Good thinking.
That earned a few snickers.
“You two have got to work on your whispering,” Stacy deadpanned.
“Yeah, I could hear them the whole time,” Luz said.
She wakes up the baby and it screams. Just as she realizes they could use Luz’s help, she’s already heading out the door.
“And I made them regret it,” she smirked as everyone laughed at the scene.
“Twisted. I love it!” Polly praised.
“Irony is delicious!” Heinz grinned.
Luz arrives at the library and all the books are late.
Librarian: Coffee, grass and bloodstains? These are Eda's, aren't they?
Luz: Huh. That was a crazy night.
“Do we wanna know?” Anne asked.
“It would take way too long to tell you,” Luz chuckled.
The library is closing early for the Wailing Star meteor shower.
Luz: Ooh. What’s that?
Librarian: You're in a library. Read a book.
“That was rude,” Isabella frowned.
“Witty response though. I’ll give him that,” Dipper shrugged.
She decides to go do just that. And the library is remarkable. The card catalogs are alive, books fly to be put away, and there are public crystal balls.
“This is the most amazing library I’ve ever seen!” Dipper beamed.
“And magic is making it so organized!” Baljeet gushed.
“Yeah, you two would enjoy this,” Stan rolled his eyes.
But none of that compares to the biggest surprise. Amity works there and is reading to kids! Happily! And they love her!
“Huh,” Jeremy went.
“Wow. Not what I expected,” Anne blinked.
“Curious,” Baljeet tilted his head.
“She looks so… at ease,” Wendy observed.
“Like she’s able to just relax and…” Dipper started.
“…just be herself,” Mabel finished.
The twins shared a glance at that. Were they looking at the real Amity?
Luz: Amity seems so...nice and smiley. (Gasps) Maybe I can befriend her like Azura befriended her rival.
“We’ll see,” Candy narrowed her eyes skeptically.
“Yeah,” Grenada frowned and crossed her arms in agreement.
“This might be a problem,” Dipper whispered to Mabel.
“Yeah, I don’t think they’ve solved all their issues with Pacifica,” she nodded worriedly.
“What should we do?”
“We show them how sorry she is.”
Amity is not thrilled to see her. Like, at all. And when Luz offers to help read to the kids, her patience ends.
Amity: Human! Do you see me going to the Owl Shack and bugging you while you... fry up owls? Okay, I don't really know what you do there, but every time you come near me, I get in trouble. Just leave me alone.
Luz: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The audience winced at the exchange.
“That could have gone better,” Phineas cringed. Even he couldn’t sugar coat it.
“Yeah, looking back, I was being kinda pushy,” Luz admitted.
“But she wasn’t being open to it either,” Candy argued.
“It takes two people to build a friendship,” Isabella said.
“It is pretty funny though that she thought you fried owls. Heh heh!” Soos chuckled.
She walks away and Amity starts to raise her hand to stop her, but doesn't.
“Wait, is she… sorry?” Tambry blinked.
“I don’t think we should give up on her just yet,” Anne said. If Sasha changed, then maybe so can she.
Unbeknownst to her, Sasha was thinking the same thing.
Luz: So much for befriending rivals.
Edric: You gonna let her get to you like that?
She looks over and meets the twins Edric and Emira. Edric winks at her, making Luz blush
“Oh my gosh. Dipper…” Mabel said.
“Mabel…” Dipper responded.
“TWINS!” they exclaimed joyfully.
“Another pair of twins! Yes!” he cheered.
“Do you think they’re here?”
In the other room, Amity’s gaze became cold and furious in an instant, glaring at her brother on screen.
“What?” she asked in a very dangerous voice.
They call Amity “Mittens,” making her face turn red.
The audience laughed at that.
“She looks like a tomato!” half the room struggled to say through their mirth.
Luz sighed dreamily at the sight. She loved her girlfriend’s blush.
Edric: Mom says stop forgetting your lunch. And stop being a jerk to your friend.
Amity: She is not my friend.
Emira: Yeah, makes sense. She seems too cool for you.
Luz: I am?
“Dang~,” many of them went.
“I like these guys,” Dipper smiled.
“Me too, Bro Bro.”
The twins introduce themselves as Edric and Emira, Amity’s older siblings. Since she and Amity are as sour as pickles, they decide to have fun with her. They pull pranks throughout the library until they are kicked out for making reading far too fun.
“Come on,” Vanessa looked at the screen flatly. “If that guy spiraled because everything was fiction, then who’s really the problem here.”
“Oh man, these two are awesome!” Lee praised.
“I know, right?!” Nate beamed. “Say, Luz, that Emira girl? Is she-”
“You’re too old for her, dude. You’ll be 23 by then,” she deadpanned.
“Dang it!” he complained and threw his hat on the floor.
Luz: Amity's even madder at me now. I didn't think that was possible.
Edric: No, when Mittens gets mad, she looks like this. (Inhales sharply, grunting as his face turns red; exhales) Whoa, I almost passed out.
The snickering was immediate.
Rumor has it the Wailing Star is supposed to unlock some rare magical event, so the twins invite her to sneak in with them at midnight. Luz immediately says yes.
“What kind of magic are we talking about here?”
“Oh, you guys are gonna love it,” Luz smirked.
Luz: This is great. First, I befriend the siblings then I befriend the Amity.
“Why do you want to befriend Amity so badly?” Candy questioned.
“Yeah, she was,” Grenda added, causing Luz to sigh.
“Look, I know on the surface Amity can be cold, mean and harsh. But if you can get through those layers, you’ll find that she’s actually really cool.”
Dipper shared a look with his sister and she nodded at him encouragingly.
“Let’s say, hypothetically, that Amity were to change. Would she be here?”
Realizing what he was trying to do, Noceda nodded in confirmation.
“It would.”
“Understood. Thanks.”
Amity is standing around the corner, likely having seen the whole thing. She holds her breath until her face turns red.
Amity: (Grunts and exhales) Phew! Almost passed out.
The audience burst into laughter.
“Wow, that was actually a spot on impression,” Anne giggled.
“That was an amazing callback to something that happened only minutes ago!” Heinz hollered.
Back at the Owl House, the baby is still screaming. The torture is becoming too much for Eda and King, so she’s forced to take drastic measures.
Eda: Rock, rock. Maternal gesture.
The viewers either laughed or awed at the sweet sight. Mabel, who’d been on the receiving end of this action twice already, leaned into her Graunty side. The Owl Lady responded by gently petting her head and even gently scratching her scalp.
Luz: I just had the best day. Cool teens like me. Call me a library book 'cause they were checking me out.
While the audience snickered at the comment, Amity was blazing with fury.
“ED! EM!”
“Uh oh,” her siblings gulped.
“You flirted with my girlfriend?!”
“Mittents, she–she wasn’t your girlfriend yet!” Edric tried to defend, but Emira already knew it was a lost cause.
Amity responded by casting a ball of fire and throwing it at their feet. Seeing this coming, Emira grabbed her twin by the shoulders and used him as a shield.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Edric screamed in terror and no small amount of pain as his shoes caught on fire.
Luz: Aw, Eda, you look so motherly.
Eda: Say that again and I steal your tongue.
I really have changed, Eda shook her head with a smile as everyone laughed.
Luz pokes the baby repeatedly and it barfs out another baby that barfs another baby. They fly around the room causing mayhem and one breathes fire.
“Holy cow!” many exclaimed.
“How does that even work?” Baljeet questioned.
“It’s like a Russian doll,” Thompson said.
“Soos, write that down! We can use that at the Shack,” Stan ordered.
Luz leaves again and the two agree to do this for the money.
“For the money,” Stan nodded.
“Let’s hope it’s worth it,” Wendy took a sip of her drink with mirth.
Luz paces by a pillar before making different poses to look cool for when the twins arrive. Except they were there the whole time and saw the whole thing.
Luz blushed while the others cackled.
Edric: It says no trespassing but I'm allergic to the rules.
He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Emira.
Emira: And dairy.
Edric: Wow, okay. Just expose me.
“Him too, huh?” Candace asked.
“Yeah, Ed and I kinda bonded over that,” Luz said. “Neither of us can even have one glass of milk.”
“We should share our dietary habits. Maybe we’ll find something none of us have tried that we’ll like?”
“Excellent idea.”
The paper glows and Emira puts it against the lock. It crumbles and the lock grows until it's large enough for them to walk through.
“Hello, beautiful! Where has a trick like that been my whole life?!” Stan beamed.
“I can get you some of those if you’d like,” Eda grinned.
“What’s the catch?” Pines crossed his arms.
“The catch is I get a bigger cut of the loot when we rob that museum.”
“Ugh… fine.”
The Wailing Star sobs as it passes the stained glass window, making all the books glow green. Luz opens one and almost immediately, something screeches as the birds in the book come to life, flying around the lobby. The Wailing Star magicked the books to life! Luz closes the book and the birds disappear. The three then proceed to have fun by opening the books. They get regal clothes, a giant sword, words in the air in a dialogue bubble appear from the graphic novels, and they have a snowball fight.
“That is so cool!” Dipper exclaimed.
“And that works with any book?” Sprig asked eagerly.
“Think of how much fun we could have!” Phineas beamed.
“We have got to go there tonight,” Wendy grinned, earning nods from the rest of the kids.
“Just be sure to be careful,” Luz warned.
“What do you mean?” Anne asked.
“You’ll see.”
“I don’t like that cryptic message,” Candace shook her head.
Luz finds "Otabin the Bookmaker", the book Amity had read to the kids. She opens it up and Otabin appears.
“Oh my gosh!” the Fireside Girls squealed.
“He looks so sweet,” Ginger gushed.
“I wanna hug him so much!” Mabel exclaimed.
The babies are continuing to cause trouble for King and Eda, who are hiding under the turned-over-couch.
King: What silences children? What if we invent a TV network for ages six to 11—
Eda: That's insane.
All the humans laughed at that.
“What’s so funny?” Eda asked.
“What’s funny is that we’ve got like five of those in America alone,” Vanessa said.
“Wait, really?” King wagged his tail, feeling vindicated.
“Yeah. They’re very successful,” Anne responded.
“How successful?” Gus asked.
“They make millions of dollars annually,” Ferb answered.
“Hello~,” Eda grinned.
“I’ve got a new idea! What if we used my inators and your crystal balls or streaming systems to build a children’s network for the Boiling Isles?” Doofenshmirtz proposed.
“I’d say we have a deal!” Eda shook his hand.
Stan beamed. This is my chance! That cartoon I thought of can finally be picked up by a network. And they won’t shoot it down for having so many Illuminati references!
Eda: Aah, there's only one way out of this.
She reaches into her hair and pulls out a knife, making King gasp.
“Eda! No!” everyone cried out in horror.
Eda: (Cuts an apple) Apple slices and story time.
The audience sighed in relief.
“You really made me worried there, Clawthorne,” Hop Pop breathed to steady his racing heart.
Eda: "Otabin spent his days alone amongst the many books he'd sewn. With needle and thread..."
Fade to Luz reading in the library.
Luz: "...the pages he'd mend. But all the while he longed for a friend."
Otabin: Friend?
“Aw,” many went.
“I wanna be his friend,” Milly said
“Me too,” Adyson nodded.
Emira opens a book and a duck swims out of the pages and around the floor, quacking happily. Edric draws legs on the duck in the book. In the real world, the duck now has matching giant human legs and it quacks hysterically.
The audience gasped at the sight.
“Wha–You can’t just vandalise a book!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Not that I’m disagreeing with you, but isn’t that kinda what you did?” Sprig questioned, earning a few snickers despite the scene.
“The-The context is different,” he huffed in annoyance.
They then give Luz a pencil to do the same to Otabin. When she can’t do it, Edric grabs her hand and draws angry eyebrows and claws on Otabin. Something starts to rise out of the pages, but Luz slams it closed.
Luz: I don't wanna see it.
No one liked what they were seeing.
“What-What did they do to Otabin,” Mabel asked barely above a whisper.
“We’re totally gonna find out later, aren’t we?” Polly asked.
Emira takes Luz's hand and leads the way. Luz drops the book face down. A clawed hand grows out of the book and growls.
“Yep,” the pollywog said flatly.
Everyone exchanged worried looks.
The three head to the Romance section and Emira pulls a book which is actually a lever, revealing a secret room. In fact, it’s Amity’s secret room!
“She gets her own secret room?” Dipper blinked.
“Dang. Now this is a pretty sweet gig,” Anne whistled.
“I wish our library was this cool,” Candace crossed his arms.
“You don’t even like books,” Stacy deadpanned.
“Maybe I would if they were cooler?”
Edric: Mittens has gotten too... full of herself. She keeps tattling on us when we cut class.
Emira: She needs to learn not to mess with people like that. So, we're going to find her diary.
Edric: And then post the pages all around school for everyone to see.
Everyone gaped at what they were seeing.
“That’s cruel,” Isabella covered her mouth.
“And on that note, these guys aren;t that cool anymore,” Mabel said.
“Agreed,” Polly went.
“Amity may be mean, but not even she deserves that,” Candy admitted.
Luz: What? Isn't that taking it a bit too far?
Emira: No. See, we're her family. It's tough love. She needs to learn to lighten up.
“That’s not the way to do it!” all the siblings shouted at the top of their lungs.
“Okay, what the heck is wrong with this family?!” Candace exclaimed.
Odalia, the entre Owl House group wanted to say.
Luz clearly does not like this one bit, so she pretends to be searching. That’s when she comes across Amity’s Good Witch Azura Books 1-4! She’s an Azura fan like Luz!
“I don’t believe it,” Stacy said.
“You like the same fandom?” Anne blinked.
“And a human fandom no less,” Ferb stated.
“There really is hope for her!” Candy realised.
Then she finds one with a hand drawn cover. She opens it and a miniature Amity pops up. It’s her Diary.
Amity’s Diary: I saw that... human girl again. I may have overreacted. I don't wanna come off as cruel. I just can't show weakness.
While everyone was digesting that piece of information, two blonde girls couldn’t take their eyes away from the screen. The Witch girl’s words kept repeating in their heads like an echo. The part about not showing weakness… it was very familiar.
Luz closes it, not wanting to be intrusive, but the twins take it from her and listen to a passage where Amity complains about them.
Emira: Luz, were you hiding this from us?
Edric: You see how she treats people. How she treats you.
Luz: I know Amity can be kind of cold but no one deserves this. These are private thoughts. Let's put it back.
“You’re a good person, Luz,” Candace smiled at her proudly.
“A lesser person would have jumped at the opportunity to humiliate their rival,” Dipper said.
“But you didn’t. Instead you did the exact opposite,” Mabel praised.
“That’s really cool of you, dude,” Anne finished.
Luz turned away to hide her happy tears away from all the praise.
They fight over the Diary, causing pages to spill on the floor.
“Everyone cover your ears,” Willow said.
“Yeah, these are private thoughts. We shouldn’t hear them,” Isabella agreed.
The audience proceeded to follow their instructions.
"I wish I had somewhere to go."
"Why won't the human leave me alone?"
"Called my teacher mom again."
"Sorry I haven't written for a while. Wait, why am I apologizing?"
Stan and Lilith weren;t able to cover their ears in time and managed to hear pieces of the entries. Pines frowned upon hearing the first one. His memories flooded back to a time under his father’s roof, having to live with his disapproving stare. It made him wonder about her own home life.
Lilith’s eyes widened in shock. Suddenly, the memory of one of her last lessons with Amity came flooding in with full force. Amity had said something and suddenly became very quiet. Lilith hadn’t heard what it was at the time, but after seeing Amity’s diary entry, she realized that this was it.
Amity had called her “Mom.”
She trusted her to the point where she’d called her that by accident.
The whole thing made Lilith’s head spin. When the dust settled, she realized that what she liked Amity trusting her that much. And she wanted that trust back. She wanted to repair their relationship.
Her plans for Dipper could wait. This took more precedence.
Luz tries to pick them all up but that’s when Amity comes in absolutely furious.
Amity: Really?
“Uh oh,” Mabel said, realizing what was about to happen.
“Oh no. She’s gonna think you were a part of it,” Phineas frowned.
Amity: You two are the worst. But you... I've been trying to figure out what your deal is. Are you a poser? A nerd? I know. You're a bully, Luz.
Mabel immediately hugged the Noceda. The older girl was momentarily thrown off by the action, but reciprocated the gesture all the same.
“I’m so sorry,” the Pines girl said sympathetically. She knew what it was like to be blamed for something you didn’t do. Sure, it turned out that that unicorn deserved to be attacked by her friends, but it still hurt.
The twins decide to go goblin-tipping, but Luz needs to talk to Amity instead.
Emira: All right. (Winks) See you around, cutie.
Luz blushes and runs after Amity.
Amity growled and got ready to throw another fireball, but was interrupted by her father gently putting her arm down.
“I think they’ve had enough, Mittens,” he said.
Feeling guilty for using him as a shield, Emira had tried to put the fire out, but somehow ended up getting a bit of er hair burnt in the process. So, now the twins were covered in soot and sulking in their seats.
“Yeah, you’re right. But of they do that again-”
“They won’t. Because they know how much she means to you.”
Luz: Amity, wait.
Amity: First you embarrass me. Then you wanna be my friend? I don't get you. Pick a side.
Luz: Please, just listen to me.
Amity: Just go away before things somehow get worse.
“Does that count as tempting fate?” Anne asked.
“You know what? I don’t know,” Candace said.
“She said it would get worse, so it’s definitely different. And she’s rightfully frustrated as well,” Tambry mentioned.
“Well, they’re definitely gonna get worse now,” Luz sighed.
Things get worse.
Otabin: With claws and fangs and breaking bones, I found a friend to make my own.
He grabs Amity and takes her away.
Everyone exchanged worried and somewhat terrified looks.
Luz looks down at the Diary and gets an idea. Otabin begins threading amity into a giant edition of his book, so they can be friends forever. She tries to reason with him, but it’s no use. Then a rumbling attracts both their attention. A purple cloud rolls in, a figure in white robes and hat landing with it.
Amity: Azura?
The audience leaned forward in anticipation…
Luz: Close. [ Pulls at the robes. ] Is it drawn okay? I kind of interpreted the descriptions.
…and ended up laughing instead.
Luz uses the Diary to get a staff and attacks Otabin… only for him to grab the staff and close the Diary before beginning to thread her in too.
The viewers winced at the scene.
“Well, that didn;t work,” Doof said.
“Why didn’t you just summon the real Azura?” Ivy asked. Luz blinked at this then facepalmed.
Amity: Great work, Luzura.
Luz: Hey! I was trying to save you .
Amity: Well, it doesn't matter. We're gonna be stuck together forever.
The Noceda sighed dreamily.
“I can’t imagine a better fate,” she whispered.
Luz moves her arm and sees that the page goes with it. Following Luz’s lead, Amity helps her knock the book into Otabin, allowing them to escape.
“Great thinking, Luz!” Dipper praised.
“Thanks Dipper.”
Amity: Now what?
Luz: I don't know. I didn't even think that would work. I was all like "roaaar!"
Amity stares at her before laughing a genuine laugh.
“How about that,” Anne smiled.
“A real laugh,” Mabel added hopefully.
Otabin's needle pierces the page next to Luz's head and she yells.
The audience screamed at the close call.
While he uses the needle and thread like a fishing line, Amity manages to break free. She then uses a return cart to crash into Otabin and frees Luz.
“Yes!” the audience cheered.
“Way to go, Amity!” Candy praised and blinked. “I can;t believe I just said that.”
Amity: ( pulls a pencil out of her pocket and writes in the giant book. ) "Luz has to right a wrong."
A giant eraser is summoned and Luz uses it to erase Edric’s drawing. Otabin turns back to normal and is held by Amity.
Otabin: I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me.
Amity: Hey, it's okay. We're still friends.
Everyone smiled and sighed in relief at the sweet moment.
“Thank the Titan that’s over,” Willow said.
Amity nods to Luz, who closes the book. Otabin disappears, making Amity look sad.
The kids couldn’t help but give Amity sympathetic looks.
The pair walk outside as the sun rises.
Luz: What an adventure. Thanks for helping clean up.
Amity: This never happened.
Dipper and Mabel snorted. She was definitely like Pacifica.
Luz: Wait. It doesn't make up for reading your diary but would you wanna borrow this? ( Holds out Azura 5 ) I noticed you only had up to four.
Amity: Thank you. ( Starts to walk away, stops; sighs and turns around ) Maybe you aren't a bully. I haven't exactly been the friendliest witch either. I'll think on that.
“Let’s give her time. I think she’ll surprise us,” Anne said.
“Yeah,” the twins agreed.
Luz: Hi, guys. I'm… (Everyone is asleep, snoring, on the green couch, Eda holding the baby bats and King on her lap) …home.
Suddenly, a giant version of the bat babies arrives at the front door.
Luz: Whoa. You must be Mama.
Bat Queen: Yi Yi. Mama is I. And I is the Bat Queen. ( She whistles and the babies fly from Eda into her hair) Aah! Snuggle dumplings.
“Aw~!” many in the audience went.
“What a sweet mother,” Candy gushed.
She throws up a treasure chest, which opens to show several hundred snails, along with an Aztec death whistle.
Bat Queen: For troubles. Eda is owed one.
“Holy mackerel! Look at the size of that loot!” Stan beamed.
“All in a night’s work,” Eda boasted.
The Bat Queen leaves.
Eda: [ Sleep-talking. ] Ah. Sweet babies. [ Wakes up. ] Babies? Where are the babies?
Luz mimes flying away.
Eda: Oh. And I just taught Junior how to pick locks too.
Well, they did their job, and it was all for the money.
King: (hugs Eda) I miss my babies!
The audience snickered at that.
Luz then gives Eda a book from the library titled “Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome.”
“Was that for the babies, or when you went home?” Anne asked.
“Both.”
“Hey, Clawthorne? Would you mind lending me that copy?” Stn asked reluctantly.
Eda: Thanks, kid. So, how was your night?
Luz: Good. Then bad. Then maybe good?
Dipper, Mabel and Anne nodded. Things definitely weren’t perfect with Amity, but it was a start. And that was enough for them to have faith in her. Even Candy and Grenda had reluctant nods.
Hooty: Hey, you wanna hear about my night?
Luz: Ugh. No!
Eda: No!
King: That's not a thing anyone ever wants.
The audience laughed in agreement.
“Welp, that’s all the episodes. What should we do now?” Luz asked.
“Anyone up for lunch at Greasy’s? We can figure out the rest there” Dipper suggested.
“Yeah/Alright/I could go for a waffle,” were the mixed answers from the group.
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Notes:
I admit, I did not expect this to be so helpful with worldbuilding in Hooty's Moving Hassel, but I'm not complaining!
1) Do you have any questions about the chapter?
2) Are you excited for the Phineas and Ferb revival?
3) What are you looking forward to in the next break chapters? I'm making it a two-parter because that's how long it is.
4) Will you follow me to war?
By the way, I went back and added some things to chapter 13. Just two bits I forgot to write down the first time.
Check out my other works and my YouTube channel if you haven't already: https://www.youtube.com/@LegionEditing
Please leave Kudos, comment, and subscribe.
Until next time. This is the Way.
Edit: Also, I just started a new way you guys can support this story. For the details, the link is here on my most recent reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/user/MandaloreTheAtreides/comments/1lfgfub/i_officially_have_a_patreon_account/
Chapter Tracker:
Special Announcement: 1/1
Discussions: 2/4
Lunch: 1/1
Spa: 1/1
Party: 0.5/1
Songs: 6/6
Fights: 1/4
Words: 14217
Chapter 17: Robots, Clones, and More
Notes:
This chapter was made with a lot of time and hard work, and I'm very excited to share it with you. I'm only sorry I couldn't finish it just a bit earlier. Oh well.
Man, there have been so many good projects that came out in July. Fantastic Four: First
Steps, K-Pop Demon Hunters, Jurassic Park, Ballerina, and best of all... SUPERMAN! SUPERMAN! SUPERMAN! Back to Huntr/x, I'm gonna try to incorporate some of their songs into this story.But first, a special announcement...
From the cast of Watching the Cipher-Verse.
Thank you.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“And… ACTION!” Mabel said as the camera started rolling.
“Is it recording?” Anne asked.
“Yep! We’re ready.” Dipper got from behind the camera and came into view with his twin. Following them were Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Anne and Luz.
“So, who should start us off?” Luz went.
“I think our inspo should get the first word in,” Mabel said.
“Aw, stop! You’re making me blush,” Candace waved off.
“You guys can have it if you want,” Phineas said.
“Nah, man. Everything we are, we owe to you,” Dipper argued.
“You three set the bar!” Anne praised.
“And every one of you surpassed it with flying colors,” Ferb stated.
“You especially, Luz,” Phineas smiled.
“Aw, thanks! How about this? We do it by order of release?” Luz proposed.
That got sounds of agreement from the others.
“Okay, here goes nothing,” Candace said and took a deep breath.
“Hello, everyone!” Phineas waved to the camera and all of you on the other side. “Hope each and every one of you is having an awesome day!”
Ferb nodded in agreement.
“We’re sure you’ve heard the amazing news that Watching the Cipher-Verse has surpassed 200,000 words and 130,000 hits!” Candace continued.
“Not only that, but Atreides’ most popular YouTube video has reached 300,000 views!” Dipper added in excitement.
“And his channel now has a quarter of the subscribers needed to get monetized!” Mabel beamed.
“And we’ve read your comments, so we know that you guys are loving the direction this story is going,” Anne smirked.
“We even got people waking up at 3:00 am to read the latest chapter! We did it~!” Luz cheered.
“But now, 18 months in, and a lot of planning things out…” Phineas started.
“And of course Mandalore catching up on some shows,” Ferb added.
“That too. Especially,” Phineas agreed.
“We’re proud to announce…” Candace began.
“…that Milo Murphy’s Law…” Anne said.
“…Hamster and Gretel…” Luz added.
“…Star vs the Forces of Evil!” Mabel screamed.
“…will officially be incorporated into Watching the Cipher-Verse,” Dipper finished with a grin.
“Isn’t that amazing?!” Phineas cheered.
“It’s mostly gonna be lore implications and us being made aware of them, but it’ll be fun,” Luz smiled.
“There’s also gonna be connections to The Ghost and Molly McGhee, but that’ll be minor compared to the others,” Candace added.
“Not only that, but we can give you all confirmation on how long this fic will be. Generally,” Anne mentioned.
“The number of chapters is indeterminate because of the breaks, but the days aren’t!” Mabel spoke excitedly. “Counting the two days already shown in this fic, the cast of Watching the Cipher-Verse will be brought together for exactly 3 weeks!”
“21 days,” Ferb stated.
“Like I said, it’ll be fun,” Luz said.
“Especially when we get to that amazing payoff with guest appearances!” Mabel beamed. “And Mando thought of the perfect idea back in May! He’s gonna-” Mabel was cut off by the others quickly shooshing her.
“Whoa! Whoa! Easy, Mabel,” Phineas laughed after a few seconds. “We can’t tell them everything all at once.”
“You’re right, you’re right. Sorry. I’m just so excited! I feel like I’m gonna explode if I don’t tell someone that when we get to season 3 of Amphibia-”
“HOLD EVERYTHING!”
Everyone looked up to see the new voice was from a diamond shaped portal up above. The speaker appeared to be a small male demon in a black suit and white clown makeup on parts of his face. Standing right next to him was a tall blonde demon who looked like she was very embarrassed by this.
“You think you can just–AH! I’M FALLING AGAIN!”
And he slipped out of the portal and fell to the floor.
“Ooh~!” everyone went.
“Yeesh! That had to hurt,” Anne grimaced.
“Let’s help him up,” Luz said. She and Mabel quickly went to his side and lifted him onto his feet.
“Are you okay, Mr…” Mabel started.
“It’s Blitzø. The ‘O’ is silent,” He groaned as he straightened his back with a pop.
“Right. And who’s…” Dipper started but his question was soon answered as the blonde demon came down, albeit much more gracefully than her companion.
“Hi, I’m Charlie Morningstar! Pleasure to meet you all. Really big fan,” she smiled at them.
“I like you. You’ve got that nice earnest smile with an outgoing personality,” Mabel beamed.
“So, what’s all this about, hmmm?” Blitzø asked.
“Oh, we’re telling all our great readers that Watching the Cipher-Verse is expanding into a much larger world,” Phineas explained.
“Yeah, well move over! ‘Cause that’s old news, bit-”
“Blitz!” Charlie scolded before he could finish. “I told you, no cursing in front of the kids.”
“What’s the big deal? Five of them are gonna be adults when we meet them in the sequel,” he argued.
“This isn’t the sequel yet. And it won’t be for a long time.”
“Fine, fine,” he sighed.
“What exactly are you guys doing here?” Candace raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
“Oh! Right! You don’t know,” Charlie realized and slapped her forehead. “So, the codes in this story feature the Host and their friends watching Hazbin Hotel. Meaning that I’m also part of the Cipher-Verse. And since we’re both from the same universe, that includes him too.”
“Well, then get over her!” Luz enveloped her in a hug that she quickly returned.
“How does that work, exactly?” Dipper clicked his pen, ready to take notes.
“Well, at first Mandalore_the_Atreides was just having fun because he became such a big fan the moment the show came out. But then the Book of Bill released and explained that he got kicked out of Hell after he died. So now we can all be together!" she clapped.
“Wow! Congratulations,” Anne smiled.
“That’s right, so BAM!” Blitzø shouted, taking hold of the camera right to his face. “You thought the child friendly Disney shows were the only cartoons Daddy Mandalore was horny for?! Nope! He wanted aaaall thiiiiiis!” Blitzø gestured to his torso.
“Uh, Candace, why’s he acting like that?” Phineas asked awkwardly.
“Nothing you need to know about!” she immediately covered her brothers’ eyes, not liking how… unrated this guy was acting.
“Anyways, I’m here to (this part has been cut)”
“Wait, for real?! That’s awesome!” Anne exclaimed.
“Ha! Ha! Yes!” Dipper cheered.
“Amazing! How does that work though?” Mabel squinted curiously.
“I’ll break it down for you, Maple,” Blitzø pulled a whiteboard with various drawings.
“It’s Mabel.”
“Whatever.” Then he started pointing at each picture in order. “Listen up… people. Really not used to not cursing, but whatever. (this part has been cut) Now to talk about that, I brought in some help.”
Suddenly a new portal opened, this one yellow, and out came a blonde girl-butterfly hybrid. She gracefully landed on the ground and turned back into a very familiar young lady.
“Hello, everyone!” she waved.
“PRINCESS STAR?!” every but Blitzø exclaimed.
“That’s right. I’m here to help (this part has been cut)
“We’re talking full stories! Wonderful one-shots! And masterful crossovers! There’s even gonna be a big one with another show joining our ranks: Inside Job,” Blitzø announced.
“Inside Job too? Why?” Candace asked.
“Becasue Mando loves it, and it also has some tie-ins with Gravity Falls, so it works! Speaking of,” Blitzø then proceeded to rub the crystal on his wrist and another portal opened. Then out fell a man and a woman. He was the first to get up and upon taking one look, he was ecstatic.
“Reagan! I think we’re in a crossover!” he gushed.
“What the Hell? Brett, please tell me we’re high?”
“Don’t you worry. You’re gonna be great friends with these two twins over here,” he thumbed towards Dipper and Mabel. “Anyways, to sum it all up, we’re gonna keep doing what we’re doing but bigger.”
“Oh! That is the best news ever!” Charlie, Mabel and Luz cheered.
“And the best part, now we get to mess around with you guys from time to time,” Star smirked.
“What around with who now?” Candace blinked.
“That’s right! The guest appearances Mabel was talking about,” Anne remembered.
“Wait! Let’s not give everything away!” Phineas said. “We have to give them something to be surprised by. That’s what makes the wait so worth it. Because as we all know…”
“Writing takes a long time,” everyone said.
“We cannot wait to share more of the Cipher-Verse with you,” Luz’s eyes got watery.
“None of this would be possible without you guys reading,” Dipper smiled.
“Or commenting,” Mabel added.
“Or leaving Kudos,” Anne finished.
“So now, it’s up to you to give Atreides all the support and motivation he needs,” Candace stated.
“Here’s the link to his Reddit post that will put you in the right direction,” Ferb spoke.
“Wait, that’s it? That’s all we’re gonna do? NO! F### that!” Blitzø yelled.
The teens tried to cover the kids ears but found that they didn’t need to upon realizing something.
“Wait, that was the silencing spell,” Luz noticed.
“The silencing spell stops curses? Huh,”Anne said.
“Uh oh. When Stan and Eda learn about this, they’re not gonna stop,” Dipper bowed his head in resignation.
“Let’s get it started!” Blitzø cheered as he opened another portal.
“Wait! Shouldn’t we-” Phineas tried to say.
“F### waiting!” Blitzø said cheekily. “Look, we got Moxxie!” The Imp was suddenly thrown through and caught by Charlie. And that’s when others began to come through as their names were called out. “And Millie! And Loona! And Stolas! And Vagoona! And the cat!”
“Let me help you out,” Star smiled before opening a portal for each show. Even the ones not already there. “We’ve got Marco! My mom! My dad! Janna! Tom! Eclipsa! Globgor!”
“Look!” Anne pointed at another portal. “Hamster and Gretel! And Kevin! Fred! Lauren and Lyle!”
“And Milo!” Luz gasped. “Melissa! Zach! Dakota and Cavendish!”
Pretty soon, everyone was there. Any important character from the nine shows was now in front of the camera.
“Yeah! We’re family now! Everything’s gonna be great forever!” Blitzø cackled as he pulled Fizeralli through the portal
“Hey, Milo. Murphy’s Law isn’t gonna make something bad happen here, is it?” Gretel asked.
“I don’t think so,” the ever prepared teen thought aloud.
“Yeah. It’s not like one of our villains is gonna be here too,” Tom laughed it off.
“And we even got the yellow guy everyone’s afraid of!”
A cold chill ran down everyone’s spine as Blitzø said those words. Slowly but surely, the massive group turned around to see the one eyed triangle floating in the air.
“Well, well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well!”
“You had to say it,” Vaggie gave Tom a flat look.
“Everyone make peace with whatever god you worship. It’s about to be over soon,” Hunter blanched.
“Stanley,” Cipher growled.
“Uh oh,” Pines gulped.
“STANLEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The camera’s footage began to glitch out as Bill grew angry.
“MANDALORE! CUT THE GODDAMN FEED!” Reagan screamed.
After another glitch, it all turned black. Silence reigned over the footage for a few seconds until an iris shot appeared. On the other side was Bill tied up with the Axolotl floating above and shaking his head. Then it pivoted to the leads of the shows all looking shocked by what just transpired.
“So, all together?” Blitzø asked with a smile.
“All together,” Luz nodded.
“BYEEE!”
And the iris closed.
Now, enjoy the chapter.
Danville
“And so, the plot thickens,” Ferb said.
“You said it, Bro. That was a lot more than I expected,” Phineas admitted.
“Ghosts possessed Mabel,” Candace said.
“Dipper almost killed Multibear,” Jeremy continued.
“His clones tried to replace him then died,” Vanessa mentioned.
“Anne and the Plantars were almost eaten again,” Isabella stressed.
“Repeatedly,” Baljeet added.
“Their girl time got messy,” Stacy said.
“We learned about Lilith and the Coven System,” Carl reported.
“Luz, Willow and Gus got pushed off a cliff,” Buford stated.
“And Luz and Amity were almost sewn into a book,” Heinz finished.
“The list goes on, and I don’t think it’s gonna get shorter,” Isabella sighed. The others nodded in agreement.
“Is it just me, or does anyone else kinda feel out of their element here?” the triangle headed boy asked.
The backyard was silent as they frowned over the question. They weren’t really thinking about it since the answer was obvious.
“We’ve had a lot of crazy stuff happen to us over the summer…” Stacy trailed off.
“The end of the world on multiple occasions,” Baljeet added.
“Thank you. But that… that was a lot darker than anything we’re used to.”
“It makes me wonder where we fit into all this. You know?” Phineas said.
“Yeah, we’re kinda the odd ones out, aren’t we?” Jeremy chuckled.
“So, let’s find out,” Candace started. “I’m probably gonna have another meeting with the other investigators later. Today’s viewing might help with the puzzle.”
“Good. Because I’m really confused,” Isabella admitted.
“So, what are we all gonna do today?” Buford asked.
Perry chattered.
“Oh, right! I better get ready for that! Though I’m nowhere near ready. Can you give me at least 2 hours, Perry the Platypus?” Doof asked. The agent nodded.
“In the meantime, Agent P, why don’t you go show Trainee King a few moves? He could use the instruction,” Monogram suggested. The platypus responded with a nod. “Good. Oh, and before you go, we’ve reviewed your request to add Little Suzy Johnson to our watch list and… well, we’ve chosen to accept it,” the man said with a shiver.
“She’s terrifying, Agent P,” Carl added.
“So, yes. We’ll be keeping an eye on her.”
The platypus gave a salute and was about to fly off on his jetpack when another agent made their presence known.
“Hold on, P,” Lila said.
“Ah, Agent Lolliberry. I understand you tailed Stan Pines yesterday?” Monogram questioned, making Perry look at her curiously.
“I did,” she nodded.
“What’d you find?”
“Not much. The silencing spell blocked out a lot of what he and the other guy he was with were saying. They seemed pretty close though.”
“Who was he with?”
“They were the one that goes by Doctor P.”
Perry cupped his bill in thought at that.
“Hmm. What were you able to make out? Anything about his illegal dealings?” Carl asked.
“Well, he doesn’t exactly hide it,” she pointed out, to which they all nodded. “But no. It was just a lot of family stuff. Mostly his brother, the twins’ grandfather. Though I think I stumbled upon something pretty personal,” she furrowed her brow at the last one.
“What would that be?”
“Carl, can you run a background check on the Pines family and send it to me? I’m not sure if what I heard will tie into Pines’ illegal stuff, but it might give me something aboot his motives.”
“Of course, Agent,” he nodded.
“Good. Also, there’s something else.” Lila looked them all in the eyes. “There’s another intelligence operative here.”
The others blinked. Perry’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“What?” Monogram questioned in surprise.
“Someone else was tailing Pines at the lake. They were accompanied by two other people. Probably a couple from how they were holding hands. It was a sloppy job too. The man was onto them from the start. He drilled a hole in their boat and they didn’t even notice until they were sinking. Seriously, who stands at the bow of a ship with binoculars like that and doesn’t expect to get caught?” she scoffed.
“Their origin?” Francis asked.
“American. The arrogant recklessness shows it.”
“That’s fair,” Carl admitted with a nod.
“Are they OWCA?”
“Definitely not. I’m willing to bet they’re FBI or CIA.”
“Great googly moogly. Now we have to deal with an element from a rogue agency getting in our way,” Monogram sighed, burying his face in his hand.
“Sir, if there’s someone from the more… unorthodox part of the intelligence community here, then we need to reach out to them. There’s a good chance you can pull rank.”
“I hope you’re right Carl. The last thing we need is someone from either of those agencies causing trouble like they always do.” Then he turned to his best agent. “We’ll take care of this, Agent P. You go train your apprentice.”
Perry nodded and finally flew off.
“♪ Agent P! ♪”
“So cool,” Stacy said.
“You guys coming to Greasy’s?” Jeremy asked.
“Sure!” Phineas answered. “Guess we’ll have to reschedule the cold fusion reactor, Ferb.”
“Wait, what?” Vanessa went. The others immediately turned to the two with wide eyes. Candace froze upon doing so, and seemed to space out.
“Well, we were gonna get started on it right away, but if we go to Greasy’s, we should have time around next wee-”
“Stop,” Isabella cut him off, putting a hand over his mouth.What no one else noticed was that the boy’s heart immediately began racing. So, all he could do was stay silent. “Cracking cold fusion is more important than going to a diner.”
“Think of all the good you could do if you finish this up right now,” Baljeet emphasized.
“Virtually limitless energy generation, minimal radioactive waste, and reduced environmental impact,” Buford mentioned.
“Since when do you know that?”
“Since you said it this morning.”
“Valid,” he admitted.
“You know, I’ll stay and help with this,” Heinz said.
“Really?” Vanessa questioned.
“Why not?” he shrugged with a smile. “Besides, this could help me invent time travel.”
“How?” Holly asked.
“Back in 2002 and 2004, scientists at the Super Proton Synchrotron succeeded in producing miniscule amounts of gold nuclei from induced photon emissions within deliberate near miss collisions of lead nuclei.”
“In English, nerdy man,” Buford said flatly. Baljeet handed him the Nerd to English Dictionary and he opened the pages. “Oh~! They turned small bits of lead into gold by hitting them with each other inside a collider.”
“Exactly,” Doofenshmirtz nodded. “When I first got interested in pazzzium infinionite, I started making theories on its applications. I did the math on what would happen to it in a collider, and that’s how I created my theory for time juice. So, if we can do that with pazzzium infinionite, then it should transform it into time juice. And with a cold fusion reactor…”
“…we could do nuclear transmutation at a fraction of the previous costs,” Ferb realized.
“Okay, that is actually a good plan,” Vanessa smiled.
“Nicely done, sir,” Norm praised.
“Unfortunately, pazzzium infinionite is one of the more rare earth minerals, so this won’t be a sustainable source of time juice,” Phineas thought aloud.
“I know, but it won’t need to be. I just need to prove in our time that it’s real, and officially discover it. We’ll worry about the rest later,” Heinz said.
“Then let’s get started!” Phineas beamed.
This made Candace’s eye twitch.
“Candace?” Vanessa asked. “You okay?”
“Building… nuclear… reactor… must… bust…”
“Oh no,” she sighed.
“Hang on, there’s a simple way out of this,” Stacy deadpanned.
The teenager grabbed Jeremy by the shoulders and shoved him in front of Candace, obscuring her view of her brothers. The redhead’s strained look instantly melted away and was replaced by a dreamy smile.
“Jeremy…” she sighed.
“Well, that was easy,” Vanessa said.
“Hey,” Jeremy gently cupped her face. “They’re gonna be okay. Sure, it’s nuclear, but those two are probably the most capable of handling it on the planet.”
“You’re probably right,” she spoke reluctantly. “Still, I can’t help but worry about them.”
“That just makes you a good sister,” he smiled before looking down despondently. “That’s more than I can say for myself, right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I saw what Suzy did to you… I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I’ve been failing as an older brother.”
“Oh~, Jeremy,” she said sympathetically and hugged him. He eagerly returned it. “What’s going on with Suzy isn’t your fault. She just needs some intervention.”
“I hope you’re right.” Then he looked at her again with a loving gaze. “What would I do without you?”
“I’m here as long as you’ll have me,” she smiled sweetly, pressing her forehead against his.
“Good.” He pulled her closer to him. “Because I’m never gonna let you go.”
And then they met each other halfway in a tender and beautiful kiss. The world seemed to stop around them as they basked in the sweet moment. It could have been minutes, or days, but frankly, they didn’t care. All that mattered was each other.
“I will stay as well,” Baljeet said and went over to get parts from the garage.
“Well, I’m gonna stuff my very large stomach full of pancakes,” Buford commented and walked off to do just that.
“What about you, Isabella?” Phineas asked.
“Actually, I was planning on having lunch with Dipper.”
“Oh,” the boy blinked, not expecting that at all.
“Yeah, he offered to talk about… personal stuff, so I decided to take him up on it.”
“Really? Um, okay,” he said uncomfortably.
“But if you want me to stay-”
“No, no, it’s fine. You sound like you really want to do this. Hope you have fun with Dipper.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you at the Mystery Shack party.”
And with that she left the backyard, heading for Greasy’s. Phineas watched her go with a saddened frown. Even after she was gone, he continued to stare at that open gate, hoping that she might come back.
Candace, who had eventually parted from Jeremy, saw this and couldn’t help but smirk. It was a sympathetic one, but she was amused nonetheless.
Oh, you oblivious little genius.
“Something on your mind?” she asked her little brother with Ferb following right behind her. He was silent for a long time. And then…
“I like Isabella.”
The words hung like a cloud. The triangle-headed boy’s siblings shared a look, one grinned while the other did so with his eyes.
“Glad you’re all caught up now,” she smirked.
“What?! What do you mean?” Phineas whirled on them.
“Phineas, you built her a haunted house to cure her hiccups. No one goes that far for just friends,” she shook her head with a smile.
“Ferb?” the boy asked, to which he just sighed.
“It is embarrassing how you can build magnificent inventions but cannot compute your own emotions,” he said honestly.
“Wow. I’m sorry you guys.”
“It’s alright,” she smiled at him. “You’ve got a lot to figure out. Take your time. Then decide what you’ll do about Isabella.”
“Y-Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna go get the parts from the garage.” He started to walk off but stopped to look back at them inquisitively. “You don’t think Dipper and Isabella-”
His sister audibly laughed and it was far from quiet.
“Definitely-Definitely not,” she giggled, finally calming down. “Dipper’s a good guy and all, who’s pretty cool in his own right, but there’s no way in heck he’d ever be her type.”
“Okay,” he nodded and started walking again… only to turn around one last time. “Are you sure-”
“YES!”
“Okay, okay.”
His siblings watched him go off with a smirk, Ferb holding a clipboard and Candace with her hands on her hips.
“We’re not going to let him wait, are we?”
“Yeah~, no,” she said, still looking in Phineas’ direction. “We’re gonna meddle tonight. And I think I know how to do it.”
“Excuse me?” someone called out. They turned around to see a group of hidden people entering the backyard. The only one they immediately recognized was Polly, who sat atop another one’s shoulder. “Hi, I’m Mechanic,” Alador greeted. It was at that moment Phineas returned, followed by Dr. D. “I was heading this way and bumped into the others and we all realized we were coming here for the same thing.”
“We were impressed by your robots and wanted to see if we could get a look,” Ally said.
“We love robots. They’re our whole life,” Jess added enthusiastically.
“You could say we’re all robot experts,” Polly smirked, patting Frobo’s shoulder.
“I actually came here to help with the reactor,” Terri clarified.
“I’ve never seen robots quite like yours, boys. Hee hee hee!” McGucket cackled.
“So, we were all thinking: why not come together and build the perfect robot?” Andrias said.
The words hung in the air as the boys thought it over.
“If we finish the cold fusion reactor and miniaturize it, it would be the perfect powersource,” Phineas thought aloud.
“I could add in a thing or two on how to make it more sleek,” Doofenshmirtz added. “I’ll even show you how I use squirrel power to work so well.”
“I can show you how to incorporate magic into it,” Blight mentioned.
“We can help with the mechanics and wiring,” the girlfriends said.
“Especially on a smaller scale, so it’s more compressed and space efficient,” Ally clarified.
“I’ve got years of experience too,” Andrias brought up. “Especially with ones that can fly.”
“I can help make ‘em bigger!” Fiddleford declared.
The brothers looked at each other for a moment and grinned at the group.
“Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!”
Gravity Falls
“So… the Emperor’s Coven symbol,” Dipper brought up.
“Yeah, that has me pretty worried,” Mabel admitted.
“Think it means he’s gonna come back?” Stan questioned.
“I don’t think so,” Ford shook his head in thought. “From my travels across the Multiverse, I learned that Earth was not the only world Bill Cipher touched. He’s been interfering with countless civilizations. And considering that the Demon Realm is close to ours, it only makes sense that he would have had a presence there at some point.”
“That’s a relief,” Wendy sighed with the rest of the family.
“So, anything else we wanna bring up?” Mabel asked.
“Yes,” Ford nodded seriously and looked down at his grandnephew. “Dipper… why didn’t you tell me you were a BABA fan?!” he grinned.
“Wait, you too?”
“♪ You can sing! ♪” the scientist sang, causing the boy to beam.
“♪ You can shimmer! ♪”
“♪ Love’s on the scene and Disco’s for dinner! ♪” the two sang together. “♪ Disco girl! Coming through! That girl is you! Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh! ♪”
“Yeah, you would enjoy this,” Stan rolled his eyes. But he smiled just the same. “Speaking of that song, Chutzpaur! Where’s that man cave? I have some strong words I’d like to share with that Leaderaur later.”
“I can take you there after lunch,” the Manataur offered.
“That’d be great,” Stan nodded before turning back to his family. “Also, I’m taking care of dinner tonight.”
“Kids, why don’t you run along? Stan and I need to talk about something,” Ford said. The kids gave their goodbyes and ran off to their friends, leaving the older twins alone. “Stanley… I think we both know what this is.”
“Do we have to talk about it?” his brother sighed.
“Stanley, let’s face it. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. It’s gonna catch up to us eventually, whether we like it or not,” he admitted.
“Right,” Stan nodded. “Think we should sit down for this?”
“That would be nice.”
The two sat down at the porch couch in uncomfortable silence. It was about a minute before they finally broached the subject.
“So… the Clawthorne sisters… what are the odds, huh?”
“Yes. I never would have expected to find a pair of siblings so much like us.”
“Especially in the bad.”
“It’s sad how you’re right. But while it’s clear you and Eda are very much alike, Lilith is most similar to myself.”
“It’s like looking in a mirror.”
“Agreed. What do you think drove them apart?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Lilith became a cop for a fascist government and Eda didn’t like that.”
Ford winced at the word “fascist” but shook his head.
“I don’t think so. Even when they were disagreeing about that on screen, they were still sisterly.”
“So, what is it then?”
“I don’t know. But I’m confident we’ll find out,” he finished. Then a soft smile crossed his face. “Enough of that now. What are your plans for today after visiting the Manotaurs?”
“Oh! Clawthorne and I are gonna rob the museum,” he grinned broadly.
“Of course you are,” he sighed.
“Anything nerd related you want?”
“Stanley!” Ford shouted, scandalized. “…I’d love to get a look at that time machine.”
“I’ll add it to the shopping list!” Stan smiled as he walked into the house. “Gotta get my thieving kit.”
Stanford just shook his head and was about to leave himself when an unexpected visitor arrived.
“Hey! Doctor Whatsyourface! Where’s Pines?” Eda asked quite bluntly.
“Uh,” was all Ford could say as he sat face to face with the woman that may have been his sister-in-law at one point. It was a bizarre situation he never could have anticipated himself being in. And it didn’t even end there! He was very aware of the situation while the former couple themselves were not! He had half a mind to tell her off for leaving Stan like that.
Instead though, he couldn't form words, so he just gestured into the house.
“You’ll find him in his office.” And with a brief “Thanks,” she walked in. Ford took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The whole thing was giving him a headache.
What am I even supposed to do about all this? Should I even do anything about this? Mabel seems to like her. Heck, she worships the ground she walks on!
“Perhaps I should just let it be.”
“We cannot just let it be,” Dipper frowned.
The twins stood there, watching as Pacifica stood apart from Candy and Grenda with her head hung low, and the other two had deep frowns. The tension was thick in the air as one side exuded anger and the other shame.
Seeing only one way out, Mabel clapped her hands together, getting the group’s attention.
“Alright, this is a messy situation, and it isn’t gonna end until we all talk about our feelings. So, come on. Out with it.” Her words were met with silence until Candy and Grenda sighed.
“Seeing Pacifica and then Amity on screen today brought back a lot of bad memories from years and years of bullying,” Candy finally said.
“AND IT ALL HURT!” Grenada shouted, making the Pines’ and Northwest wince.
“We know you promised you wouldn’t do that again, but that doesn’t change what you did.”
Pacifica continued to bow her head in shame. The twins exchanged a worried look as they watched the scene unfold. The blonde was about to respond when she was cut off.
“You didn’t actually apologize,” Candy said, surprising them. “Grenda hugged you for apologizing, but you never actually said those words.”
Pacifica couldn’t speak. Couldn’t bear to look at them anymore. The girl fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands.
“I… I don’t know the words.”
Dipper and Mabel stepped over to her and each put a hand on her shoulder.
“Do you want to be a better person?” he asked.
“What?” she looked up at them.
“Do you want to be a better person?” Mabel repeated for her.
She was silent for a long moment. Then she nodded.
“Pacifica?” Mabel began, and reached out to her with a smile.
“♪ It starts with sorry. ♪”
The blonde girl looked up at her with surprised tearful eyes.
“♪ That's your foot in the door, one simple sorry, ♪” Mabel sang, placing a hand over the other girl’s heart. Spoken straight from your core, ♪” Then she backed away and began to gracefully dance. “♪ The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts. ♪” The others could see that she had drawn hearts in the dirt as she danced. “♪ But sorry is where it starts~! ♪”
Mabel smiled softly, welcoming her former rival in with open arms. But Pacifica just turned away.
“♪ Who could forgive a mean girl like me? I don't deserve your amnesty, ♪” she sang rather dramatically.
A small part of Candy and Grenda had it’s own idea, and they couldn’t help but voice it, even if they had no enthusiasm about it.
“♪ Can't we just squeeze her? Put her in a headlock? ♪”
Pacifica gulped but didn’t find herself disagreeing. Maybe it would make them even?
“♪ That's an option you could choose, ♪” Mabel went nervously.
“♪ Works for us, ♪” they shrugged.
“♪ But who hasn't been in her shoes? ♪” the Pines girl argued, getting in between them.
That got the two to think. Who here didn’t do something they regret?
And with that said, Mabel offered Pacifica her hand, and this time she took it, allowing herself to get back on her feet.
“♪ It starts with sorry! ♪”
And for the first time in her life, maybe in her bloodline, Pacifica said…
“♪ Sorry. ♪”
“♪ Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry, ♪” her friend encouraged her.
“♪ I'm so sorry, ♪” she poured her heart out to Candy and Grenda. The pair blinked at the action.
“♪ And your journey's underway! ♪” Mabel took her hands and the two began to spin around. One with joy and one with hope.
“♪ It'll take time to cover your/my vast multitude of sins. But sorry is where it begins. It starts with sorry. ♪”
As the song ended, something happened that no one expected…
Pacifica hugged Mabel.
More specifically, she initiated the hug with Mabel.
The Pines girl was caught off guard for a second, but quickly shook that off and reciprocated it. They stood like that for a minute or two before eventually pulling apart.
“You’re the first person to ever have faith in me,” she smiled at her. “To think that I could be better. Why?”
Mabel scrunched up her face in thought. How to explain her worldview in one paragraph?
“Love is the best thing in the whole world,” she began. “And there are a lot of ways to do it. Friends, family, spouses. It’s… unlimited. It makes me happy. That’s why it’s beautiful. For me, love is what makes life worth living.” Then she frowned. “Hate though… it makes me unhappy. I feel the sads when I get it, and I’m exhausted when I give it. So, what’s the point of hate?” Then she smiled at her again. “I’ve believed in you because I never hated you. And I never really hated you… because I never wanted to. Even when we were rivals, I wanted you to be my friend. My sister.”
Pacifica wiped away a tear with her sleeve. She was about to say something when the sound of Dipper’s voice got their attention.
“…that’s the fourth song I’ve seen. Eye witnesses claim another occurred in Bonesborough. Word on the street is Doofenshmirtz sang one to King and Perry. So, that puts us at six songs so far.”
“Are you keeping track of all the musical numbers?” Candy asked.
“Someone has to.”
“Dork,” Pacifica rolled her eyes fondly before turning back to Mabel. “By the way, I have something for you.” That’s when she revealed a suitcase had been behind her the whole time. She opened it up and inside was a very familiar piece of headwear.
“Wait, is that the party crown?” Mabel asked.
“Here,” the blonde said and shoved it into her hands. It took her a second to regain her balance because it was surprisingly heavy.
“It wasn’t this heavy before. Is this real?” she blinked.
“My parents had gold and jewels forged around it. They couldn’t have a Northwest own a plastic crown. Anyways it’s rightfully yours. You should have won that competition.”
“Pacifica… this is too much. I can’t accept it.”
“Mabel, you’re the one who deserves it.”
“But what am I gonna do with it? It’s too heavy to wear, and I’m pretty sure it costs more than my house. And I live in Piedmont, California. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents or the IRS?”
“That’s… a good point,” Pacifica admitted sheepishly. “But it doesn’t feel right for me to keep it either.”
“So, what are we gonna do with it?”
“Well, you could try to compete for it again,” Dipper suggested. “We’re all going to the Shack part later, so why not put it up as the prize?”
“But Dipper, everyone felt bad that I lost last time. What if they just vote for me because of that? It won’t be fair.”
“I’m sure the host will think of something. And if either of you do end up winning it again, then we’ll find another way to take care of it.”
The girls thought it over for a minute and shared a nod.
“Alright then. Let’s go have lunch,” he said.
Off to the side, the teens were packing their bags.
“Hot springs, here we come!” Lee cheered.
“Aw man, it’s gonna be so nice once we get in there,” Nate pumped his fist in the air.
“Don’t you guys think it’ll be dangerous with those Manataurs out there?” Thompson questioned worriedly.
“Nah, it’s fine man. Chutzpaur and Multibear said they’d protect us in case anything bad came our way,” Wendy said as she knelt before a backpack.
“Well, you guys have fun. Robbie and I are gonna try out a couple’s massage at that spa,” Tambry smiled excitedly.
“We’re also gonna see if they have anything to clean out all this,” Robbie gestured to the acne on his face.
“You guys have fun too,” Wendy said. “Oh, dang. We don’t have enough snacks. I’ll be right back with some.” Then she walked into the Mystery Shack.
“Got everything you need, Pines?” Eda asked as she leaned her hip against his desk with a smirk.
“Sure, just gotta grab my key to the storage unit so we can get my trailer to carry out all the loot,” he said whilst looking through his drawers.
But as he was looking, he caught a glance of the security monitor and his eyes widened in disbelief.
“Wait, what?!”
“What is it?” the Witch questioned.
“Look!” He pointed at the monitor and what they saw surprised her too.
There Wendy was, casually walking around the giftshop, and swiping merchandise off the counter and putting them in her jacket. It was so discreet that they were only able to see it because they’d trained themselves to. The pair shared a look and Stan turned to the door.
“Wendy! Can ya come in here for a sec?! I need you for something.”
The Corduroy came in with her hands in her pockets like usual. Or rather, like she hadn’t just stolen from the man right in front of her.
“Hey, Eda. Hey, Mr. Pines. What’s goin’ on?” she sat down. Her laid back demeanor faded when he sat up straight with his hands resting on the desk and a stern gaze.
“Wendy, we gotta talk. I saw you stealing chocolate bars and the snow globes from the Shack,” he pointed at her.
Panic immediately spread across her face.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Pines!” she raised her hands placatingly. “I know–I know I’m in trouble, and you’re gonna fire me-”
“No, no. You’ve got a gift! You’re the best thief I’ve ever seen!”
Wendy froze and just blinked at the grinning man in front of her.
“You and me. I’ve been waiting my whole life to discover someone who’s as good a pickpocket as I am! Don’t you realize we can go out there, we can knock down a bank or somethin’! We can do this bigtime! In fact, how about you help me and Clawthorne over here rob the museum?”
Wendy just stared at him. Then she turned to the woman by his side.
“Girl, that was the most professional snatch and grab I’ve ever seen. You’ve got a natural talent not even I had when I was your age,” Eda praised.
“Really?” she smiled at them both.
“Look, you’re not ready yet,” Stan pointed at her. “For this first job, just watch what we do. Then we’ll teach you all our tricks. Whaddya say?”
There was some hesitation at first, but then she grinned at the pair like it was Christmas.
“Let’s do it.”
Amphibia
“Well, that happened,” Anne said.
“I still can’t believe that there’s magic humans can do! How many incantations do you think there are?” Marcy beamed.
“So many new ways to do magic. This could be my ultimate challenge,” Maddie grinned.
“I’m sure you two will have fun learning them all,” Sasha smiled. “Just be careful not to blow up anything.”
“When dealing with something so unknown, such assurances may not be possible.”
“That’s code for she wants to blow stuff up!” Wally cackled. Maddie just grinned wickedly.
“So, are you two gonna go to that Covention?” Sprig asked.
“Yep!” Marcy chirped. “We’re gonna learn everything we can about the magic of the Boiling Isles. Without joining a Coven of course.”
“Right. The Covens,” Anne frowned. So did everyone else.
“…Okay, I’m reading the room. You all want me to compare it to Amphibia, don’t you?” Andrias sighed.
“You are the expert,” Mr. X said with a mild glare, making him wince.
“That’s fare,” the giant salamander admitted. “The Core and I’s control of Amphibia relied upon dividing Amphibians against each other with the caste system. Pitting Frogs, Toads and Newts against each other.”
“I’m ashamed to admit that I also played a par in that,” Olivia bowed her head. Grime and Yunan did the same.
“This Emperor has chosen a more… manipulative approach. I don’t know how he succeeded in convincing all but one of the population to weaken themselves, but he is clearly not someone to be trifled with.”
“How worried do you think we should be?” Marcy asked.
“You can count on him to be ruthless. To do what it takes to have control. If he’s anything like my father… he will be evil.”
“Well, that’s depressing,” Polly said. “Anyone wanna go check out those robots instead?”
She got affirmations from all the tech wizzes and they quickly left.
“You girls wanna go to the spa?” Oum suggested, gaining a resounding “yes” from the three.
“After lunch. Gotta meet with the codebreakers first,” Marcy said.
“I wonder what they’ll say this time. Or if we’ll finally have our own codes!” Sprig beamed.
“X, you coming?” Anne asked.
“I suppose I could use a manicure. Especially after yesterday,” he grumbled the last part.
“What happened yesterday?” Sasha wondered.
“We tried to tail Stan Pines,” Bee answered.
“You did what?!” Anne exclaimed. “Mom, Dad, why?”
“He said we could keep the suits if we did it,” her mom said.
“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” she admitted before whirling on X. “But you! What were you thinking bringing them in to spy on Stan like that?! He’s crazy suspicious! We don’t know what he’s capable of!”
“Exactly. I wanted to find out just that,” he defended.
“And how’d that go?” she crossed her arms.
“He drilled holes in our boat and we had to swim to shore,” Bee said.
“And then we had to go back for X because he wasn’t wearing a life jacket,” Oum glared at the man.
“Seriously, dude?” Sasha raised an eyebrow.
“Look, the entire thing was an oversight on my part. I admit,” X pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah, your plan sure had a lot of holes,” Sasha teased, making him blush and the others snicker.
“Gee man, how much did you flounder?” Anne added with a smirk. The snickers grew into giggles.
“Hey, X? Did you find Nemo?” Sprig asked, turning the giggles into laughs.
“Hilarious,” he spoke flatly. “By the way, you look like someone from Toy Story.”
“Don’t you mean Koi Story?” Sasha teased.
“Guys, guys, I think that’s enough,” Marcy said after calming down.
“Thank you,” X sighed.
“Don’t worry about it. You still know how to make a big splash.”
X gapped at her while the others guffawed.
“Seriously, though. What did you find?” Anne asked with her arms crossed..
“All I saw was him fishing with Dr. P,” he frowned deeply.
“Hey, you seem a lot more upset than usual,” she noticed. “What’s going on?”
X just sighed.
“I still can’t believe my department missed an entire town. And giraffes?! HOW DID WE MISS GIRAFFES?!”
“…We’ll take him to get that pedicure,” Bee said.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” After they watched the three adults walk away, Anne turned to her friends. “Alright, so trying to get behind the vending machine was a bust. Are there other clues for what Stan is doing?”
“I have a few that I think might help,” Marcy pulled out her Journal.
“Lay them on us,” Sasha said. Marcy then opened the pages and began to read them aloud.
“Keep in mind there aren’t a lot. There’s the vending machine, obviously. Stan being weirdly emotional about his wax figure. And then there’s his license plate.”
“What about it?” Anne asked.
“It’s STNLYMBL. That pretty much means Stanley Mobile.”
“I thought his name was Stanford?” Sprig questioned.
“That’s the thing that has me scratching my head. Why isn’t it Stanford Mobile instead?”
“Okay. Anything else?” Anne went.
“He’s weirdly obsessed with money. Bizarrely so.”
“Agreed,” Sasha nodded.
“This last one’s more of a question. Why didn’t he recognize Eda as his exe wife?”
“Yeah, that makes sense. How could he forget a woman like that?” Sasha questioned.
“Well, he obviously didn’t, since he was able to describe her pretty well,” Anne scratched her head.
“Maybe he has memory problems?” Sprig suggested. “He is getting old.”
“So, what we’re saying is, we’ve got nothing.”
“We’ve got next to nothing,” Marcy corrected brightly. “But yes.”
The group just sighed.
“Honestly, I think we should wait on this,” Anne sighed.
“Hey, Anne? Why is Stan Pines such a big deal to you anyway?” Sasha asked.
“Oh! I can answer! On our way to Newtopia, we-”
He was immediately cut off by the silencing spell. But instead of stop like people usually did when that happened, Sprig kept on talking like he could still hear himself. The three girls just watched on as he continued to excitedly tell the tale they couldn’t hear, making various hand gestures to accentuate his points.
“…and that is why Anne is so suspicious of Stan,” he finished proudly with his hands on his hips. He just stood there in silence with his expression unchanging even when he finally spoke again. “You guys didn’t hear what I said, did you?”
“Nope.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Not a word.”
“Lunch and spa?” Anne offered.
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
The Owl House
“Hey, Ami…ty,” Luz started brightly but then faltered upon seeing her girlfriend’s state.
“Oh! Hey, Luz,” she said nervously. The Blight girl was rubbing her arm and looking down shamefully.
“Oh, Amity~,” she frowned. Then she leaned over to Ed and Em to whisper to them. “How long has she been like this?”
“Ever since Covention,” Edric answered.
“Don’t worry. I know how to fix this,” Luz smiled.
The Noceda proceeded to take her girlfriend by the hand and gently led her away from the living room and towards the closet she slept in. Amity just looked at her perplexed.
“What are you-MMPH!…mmmmmm…”
The young couple kissed passionately for about a minute before their lip lock ended.
“Feeling better?” Luz asked quietly, her forehead resting against Amity’s.
“A little bit,” she smiled.
“Good.”
“Did you do that because I was upset, or were you gonna do that anyway?” Amity smirked at her.
“Two things can be true.” This had the desired effect as her Sweet Potato laugh.
“Whadaya wanna do today?”
“My dad invited me to go check out those robots with him. But a couple’s massage does have its appeal.”
“You’re right, it does.” Amity leaned in for another kiss when Luz spoke again. “But I think you should go with him.”
“What?”
“Well, I know the two of you really want to spend time together, so say go for it.”
“That… You’re right. Thanks, Luz,” she smiled at her.
“You’re welcome. Oh, and don’t think we’re not gonna couple stuff. I’ve got the perfect plan brewing,” Luz smirked.
“And that is?” Amity giggled.
“Okay, so it goes like this…”
Greasy’s Diner was packed. Every table filled with members of the audience, in and out of the theater.
“Alright, I’d like to call this next codebreakers meeting into session,” Dipper announced as he passed around his notes to the others.
“So, we got three codes from Gravity Falls and three from The Owl House,” Candace looked them over.
“Let’s start with Gravity Falls!” Mabel beamed.
“Okay,” the others nodded.
“So, assuming that we’re still using Caesar…” Gretchen started.
“…and that the key is still 3…” Holly continued.
“…the first code should be…” Candy started to write down. When she was finished, Mabel grabbed the paper to read it but frowned upon seeing the translation.
“Oh. Look at that,” was all Ivy could say.
“ONWARDS AOSHIMA!” the Pines girl read glumbly. Her new sisters rubbed her back in comfort.
“…Okay~. Putting that aside, Sprig and I got the next one,” Wit said.
“Let’s hear it,” Dr. P gestured for her to continue. Sprig held the paper up to his face.
“It says: MR. CAESARIAN WILL BE OUT NEXT WEEK. MR. ATBASH WILL SUBSTITUTE. Anyone know what it’s talkin’ about?” he asked.
“Atbash? Of course!” Dipper beamed. “Atbash is another code. So, the message must mean that the next code is in Atbash.”
“Probably the ones following it too,” Isabella noticed.
“Okay, so no Caesar for this one. Gotcha,” Candace began. “How do we solve Atbash? Is it like Morse code?”
“You know Morse code?” Dipper blinked.
“I spent three summers in a row at Morse Code Camp.”
“That is really cool.”
“Thanks.”
“Guys. Atbash?” Isabella got them back on track.
“Right. Sorry,” Dipper shook his head. “Basically, what you do is you take the one letter and replace it with it’s exact opposite on the alphabet. For example, A becomes Z.”
The Pines boy began to write out the alphabet with another in backwards underneath it. Using that for reference, he then began to solve the code.
“So, that means that the code is… huh.”
“What? What does it say?” Luz asked.
“It’s just this: PAPER JAM DIPPER SAYS: "AUUGHWXQHGADSADUH!””
That got a few laughs from the others.
“Still no codes in Amphibia?” giggled out after a minute.
“Nope,” Marcy shook her head in disappointment.
“Shame. What have we got for The Owl House?” Dipper asked.
“Well, I solved the runes and added them to the ones from yesterday,” Luz stated. “It says: Two witches torn apart. Now alone tu. I’m not sure if it’s the adverb or noun.”
Silence reigned over the group as the words sunk in. They didn’t say it, but they didn’t need to. Everyone knew it was talking about the Clawthorne sisters.
“I hope those two work it out,” Ford said.
“Me too,” Mabel added.
“Me three,” Dipper nodded, making many among the others snort. “What’s so funny?”
“What’s funny is that you want them to reconcile because you’re clearly Lilith’s newest fanboy, and would love to meet her,” Marcy slyly said what they were all thinking.
The boy’s blush made the group laugh. Lilith herself had a very satisfied smirk.
“Cool Aunt Lilith,” Luz whispered to her.
“Hey, don’t be embarrassed, Bro-Bro. I’m a fangirl of Graunty Eda afterall, so I get it,” Mabel reasoned.
Cool Aunt took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Only Edalyn would end up in this situation,” she groaned out.
“I must admit the whole thing boggles my mind as well,” Dr. P mentioned. “She stole his car for crying out loud!”
“And he encourages her bad habits!
“Honestly…”
“Why him?”
“Why her?”
The two looked at each other and blinked. Then after a short period of silence, the pair burst into laughter.
“I actually think it's kinda sweet,” Isabella admitted.
“Yeah. Based on the way he described her, she may have been the one for him,” Dipper agreed.
“I can confirm though that he’s not the one for her,” Luz responded. “At least… not now.”
“That’s okay,” Mabel said. “Even if they don’t get back together, I’m still gonna consider her family. And I guess that means you’re family too.”
“Aw. Come here,” Luz pulled Mabel into a hug.
“Does that mean Lilith and King and you’re family too?” Holly asked.
“I think so,” Mabel shrugged while her brother blinked at the mention of Lilith.
“Don’t hate that,” he whispered.
“Well, I think that’s enough for today,” Marcy said, and the group disbursed.
Instead of leaving though, Dipper and Isabella found themselves an open booth and sat down.
“Thanks for meeting me here,” she smiled.
“Oh, it’s my pleasure. I’m just glad to meet someone who gets it.”
“Right?”
Before she could continue, a waitress came up to the pair.
“Can I get your order?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, can have the-” Dipper froze the moment he turned to face her. He knew exactly who that person was. And it shocked him to no end.
Because standing right before him was Pacifica Northwest.
And she wore the trademark pink uniform for Greasy’s Diner and held a pen and notepad in her hands. She even had an apron with a stain on it!
Dipper just continued to stare at her for quite some time. She gave him a very annoyed glare highlighted by her red face.
“Pacifica?”
“Yes?” she growled.
“Do you… Do you work here?”
“Yes.”
“You… work… here.”
“Yes.”
He was silent for a moment. And then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed with each one becoming even harder and louder than the last. It was a least two minutes before he finally stopped. He couldn’t help it. The irony of the pompous Pacifica Northwest working at Greasy’s Diner of all places was just too good.
And then a glass of water was splashed in his face.
“Whoops! I tripped and spilt it all over you,” she lied with a smirk that showed she wasn’t even trying.
“Worth it,” Dipper grinned and dried himself off with a towel.
“Two orders of pancakes?” the blonde questioned.
“Yeah, I think that sounds good.” Isabella could only nod in agreement, not saying a word as her narrowed eyes flickered between the two. And once the waitress had walked away…
“Uh, what was that?”
“What was what?”
“That! That entire exchange. There’s clearly a history there.”
“Uh…” Dipper trailed off and sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Fine,” she shrugged, knowing that was the best she was gonna get out of it. Then she smirked. “So… you and Wendy.”
“Oh boy,” he sighed.
“How many times did you try to gain her affection?”
“Ten I think? I might be wrong.”
“Wrong because it’s more or less?”
“…Probably more.” The two shared a laugh at that.
As this went on, Pacifica cleaned up a table within earshot of the pair. The thing was though, she’d already cleaned it a while ago. She just kept wiping it down and staking the dishes into the bin. To put it plainly, she was eavesdropping on their conversation. And at the mention of the Pines’ crush on Wendy, she let out a growl.
“What about you?”
“Oh, I stopped counting a long time ago,” she deadpanned, making him snicker.
“How long have you had a crush on him?”
“Since I met him all those years ago,” she answered before shying away and wringing her hands. “And um… I think I… I think I love him. I’m in love with him.”
Dipper’s eyes widened at the confession. He opened his mouth but found himself closing it a moment later. When he did speak, all he could say was “Dang.”
“What about you? Did you ever feel that way about Wendy?”
“I thought I did,” he admitted both to Isabella and himself. “She’s so cool and gorgeous, and I was drawn to that. But… At the end of the day, she’s her and I’m me. And our ages are just too far apart.”
“Did it hurt when you realized it was never gonna happen?”
He nodded and Isabella became crestfallen. She was silent for a bit before speaking again.
“Do you think you’re uncle’s right? That if you open up your heart you’ll only get hurt?”
Pacifica immediately stopped what she was doing.
Dipper sat there in thought and tapped his finger on the table, trying to find an answer to that. It was a few minutes before he found it.
“My Grunkle Stan has a rough love life. Honestly, a rough life in general. But I think he’s the exception, not the norm. As for me and Wendy, let’s be honest, that was just a fantasy. I never had a shot with her. No matter how many times I tried to prove myself, I never got close.”
She let out a snort at that, earning a smile from Dipper. Progress.
“But you and Phineas? That actually feels possible. I know this is Mabel’s thing, but I strongly believe that you two will be great together. Not would. Not might. Will.”
She didn’t say anything. And then…
“Dipper?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Back at her table, Pacifica smiled at the outcome. So she picked up the tray and left for the next table. The smile disappeared when she saw all the many tables she’d have to take orders from. And then there were the ones she’d have to clean up.
“Hey, Llama? You alright?”
She turned around to see it was Candace.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I can handle all this.”
Candace just looked at her. Then at the tables. She next noticed a spare apron hanging on the hall.
“You know, I was a sassy diner waitress for a day. If you like some help-”
“I don’t need help,” she quickly denied.
This was immediately disproven when the bin nearly slipped out of her hands. Then it was steadied by Candace placing her own there. The redhead then grabbed the apron, tied it around her waist, and took the bin.
“You wait the tables, and I’ll get the dishes.”
“…Okay.”
“Oh yeah~. This is nice,” Tambry moaned out as the tension in her back dissipated.
“I could get used to this,” Robbie sighed as he received the same treatment.
And of course the two were still holding hands.
“Yep. These pedicures are already making me feel better,” X wiggled his toes with a smile.
“Nothing like a good facemask,” Stacy yawned and soon fell asleep.
“Ah~. This hot tub is excellent,” Darius sighed. Eberwolf chattered in agreement.
“Looks like everyone else is having fun. You girls wanna hit the sonna?” Sasha grinned.
“You know it,” Marcy smiled.
“Let’s go!” Anne rushed over there.
The three girls then made their way to the women' s locker room. But as they started to change into bathing suits, Marcy couldn’t help but notice something… horrific.
“Oh my gosh! Sasha!” she gasped. “What happened to your back?!”
Sasha blinked in confusion before suddenly realizing what she was talking about, and crossed her arms and looked away.
“It’s nothing.”
“That did not look like nothing, Sash,” Anne’s tone was laced with concern.
Seeing that they weren’t going to back down, Sasha turned around and lifted up the back side of her shirt. The girls gasped at the sight. For along her spine was a very large cut.
Their hands were over their mouths, not able to handle what they were seeing.
“Sasha…” Anne said.
“It’s fine. The blade cauterized it pretty quickly.”
“Does it still hurt?” Marcy asked, carefully placing her fingers on the wound.
“No. It’s just uncomfortable now. Like a giant scab.”
“How did you even get this?”
“In a fight,” the blonde said evasively.
“What fight?” Anne asked.
Marcy’s eyes then widened in realization.
“It was me.”
“No,” Sasha immediately turned around, her gaze fierce. “That was not you.” Then it softened. “That could never be you.”
Marcy then pulled her into a hug, and she was quick to return it.
Anne then placed her hand on Marcy’s shirt, silently asking for permission. She nodded, so Anne gently lifted up the back and saw the scar.
“Is there one on the other side too?”
“Yes,” she nodded, her face still buried in Sasha's shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Mars,” Sasha cried. “I should have done more to stop him.”
“Me too. I should have jumped out of the portal and held him back.
“But then no one would have escaped. And then where would we be?”
Neither of them had a response for that, so they resorted to embracing her. The three friends stood like that for a while. It was bittersweet as they remembered the bad but were there for each other in the now.
“It’s fine, girls. We’ve got our whole lives to be happy together,” Anne smiled.
That was when Marcy stilled. Then she carefully pulled away from them, much to their confusion.
“Sashy… Anne… I’m moving away when we get back.”
Their eyes widened at those words. The reminder was like a slap to the face. The girls felt like a dark shadow was looming over them. As their sadness grew, so did that inner darkness.
Anne bowed her head but managed to keep her cool. Sasha on the other hand did not. Her hands started shaking and her breathing quickened. Before they knew it, she was running down the hall.
“Um… I’m just gonna go check on her, and then we’ll both be back,” Anne said.
“Y-Yeah.”
The brunette quickly went after her. It took some time, but eventually she found her sitting down on a bench in an empty room. She was in a fetal position with her face buried in her knees. The worst part was that Anne could hear her sobbing.
“Hey,” Boonchuy knelt down in front of her, placing a hand on knee. “You wanna talk about it?”
At first she said nothing. And then…
“I’m losing her, Anne!” she sobbed. “Even after how much I’ve changed… I’m still gonna lose her anyway. I won’t get to be the friend she deserves. I didn’t realize that until now, and I… I don’t know what to do.”
Anne frowned sorrowfully at those words. She closed her eyes as the pain washed over. Then she pulled her friend into an embrace.
Everyone stared in wide eyed wonder. All the engineers grinned broadly at the sight before them. Right there sat the culmination of the last hour of work. A red platform with silver tubes all connecting to a glowing blue sphere in the center filled with electricity.
“Oh my gosh…” Polly stared in wonder.
“Cold fusion,” Terri finished.
“We really did it!” Phineas cheered.
“Climate change is going down!”
“Amazing,” Alador marveled at the sight.
“Okay, this is pretty cool,” Amity admitted.
“This changes everything for everyone,” McGucket beamed.
“More than enough electricity to provide everything we need!” Ally started.
“Desalination plants!” Jess added.
“Vertical farming!” Baljeet spoke up.
“Bring on the sparkling cider!” Andrias cheered as he pulled out a massive bottle
“Yes! Drinks! Music! For today, humanity conquered cold fusion!” Doofenshmirtz roared.
Phineas, Ferb and Baljeet pulled out some instruments and started playing some celebratory music. Andrias popped the cork and started serving the cider to everyone. The others danced where they stood.
“To the future, people! The glorious future!”
“To the future!” everyone did the same.
“Ooh! Is this raspberry?” Heinz asked after taking a sip.
“It is,” the giant nodded.
The group just sighed, enjoying their drinks as they reveled in their success.
“Wanna make a smaller one and put it in a robot?” Jess eagerly suggested.
“Heck yeah!” Polly beamed.
Soon they were looking at a new orb filled with electric blue light. A robot hand then carefully picked it up and moved it from one table to hovering over one in the garage. Specifically, what was on the table.
Lying there was perhaps the greatest robot of all time. First of all, the bot was enormous. Thanks to McGucket, it was even taller than Norm at just over 15 feet. Ally and Jess had done a fine job with the wiring. Alador added abomination goo to pump like blood. This gave it the giant bonus of it being able to use magic like his abomatons. Andrias even gave it thrusters so it could fly. And the entire hull was chrome with only a few red spots. Doofenshmirtz of course made it more sleek as promised and was now adding the final touch.
“There! I put in the motor.”
“This is the same one you use for squirrel power?” Ally asked.
“Yes. It’s actually an advanced Bedini motor (Author’s Note: real thing, by the way, it’s really cool). How it basically works is that it uses a rotor with magnets to send the electricity back to its source, creating a pulse that increases the electrical output. I gave it the required upgrades to make it fully work and hooked it up to a wheel. But with a cold fusion reactor, this guy’s gonna be around for thousands of years.”
“Cool,” Phineas said.
“And now to add the last piece. The transformation cog. The T-cog. Or just cog for short.”
“What?” Amity questioned.
“The transformation cog,” Andrias said like it was obvious.
“You can’t build a true robot without a transformation cog,” Polly mentioned.
“Okay… Let’s assume I don’t know what that is,” Amity broached the subject.
“A transformation cog is a piece of both software and hardware. It regulates a robot’s integrations and is the source of its programing for them. It basically allows a robot to shift its limb into something else,” Heinz explained. “Norm? Care to demonstrate?”
“Of course, sir.”
The robot then proceeded to open up his chest and reveal a swirling metal orb with a purple light in the middle.
“It looks like a disco ball,” Baljeet noticed.
“That may have been the inspiration for it,” Doof shrugged. “The more experience a bot gains, the more advanced the cog becomes. It actually gets upgrades when the robot gets upgrades. This way you don’t need to do any work on it.”
“So, if you took that cog out and put it in this robot here, it would become even more powerful?” Amity asked.
“Well, yeah. But we’re not giving this robot something that advanced that soon. Don’t want it going mad with power,” he laughed. “So, I’m giving it this one.” He held up a similar T-cog with a blue light instead and put it in the bot’s chest. “Now for one more thing.”
Heinz grinned as he held up a self-destruct button.
“Nope/No/No/No/No/We’re not doing that,” was the resounding response.
“Aw, man,” he slumped.
“Now we can add the powersource,” Ferb said.
“What are we gonna call this smaller reactor anyway?” Jess wondered.
“Well, with any luck, that’ll be the least cool thing about the robot,” Phineas mentioned.
“Ooh! How about a spark?!” Terri beamed. “Because it’s what starts a beautiful flame.”
“Ooh! I like that,” Baljeet praised.
“Spark it is,” Phineas said. The assembly arm then placed the nuclear core inside the robot’s chest. Once sealed in, the entire machine began to light up. “Is the code ready?”
“Just about,” Ally held up a usb drive. “It’s a combination of the one you guys used, one from our group.” Her eyes moved towards Frobo. “And the one Doofenshmritz’s tall friend provided.”
“It was a pleasure, Miss,” Norm placed his hand over his heart and bowed.
“Let’s get this done then,” Andrias grinned.
Ally then plugged the drive into the back of the robot’s head. It flashed red as the download commenced. About a minute later she took it out and everyone stood back.
“Anything else we need to do before we turn it on?” Phineas asked the group.
“We could give it a better face,” Polly suggested.
Everyone looked to see that the robot’s face was indeed lacking… anything really. It was a smooth surface that looked kinda like an astronaut’s mask.
“Okay. That’s fair,” Phineas nodded.
“Ooh! I’ve got a robot face right here! Let me put it on,” Doofenshmirtz grinned.
“Alright, sure.”
“Wait, I think we should really see what it is first before we-”
“Too late!” Heinz said as he started welding it on. Then he stepped back upon completion. “Tada!”
“That’s your face!” half of everyone complained.
Sure enough, it was a robotic chrome version of Doof’s signature look.
“Well, I think he looks good,” the scientist smiled.
“Just let him have it,” Polly sighed.
“Fine,” many among them grumbled.
Finally, Phineas pressed the button in his hand and the robot turned on. He opened his eyes and the table moved so he could be in a standing position. The first thing the machine did was raise his hand and look down at it. He just stared as he flexed his fingers for the first time. Then he turned to all of them.
“Ready to follow protocol.”
“We did it!” everyone cheered and embraced each other. The group practically danced on the way back to the backyard, the new robot following them.
“What should we name him?”
“Ooh! How about G1? G for group, and he’s the first robot made by the group,”
“Great!” Heinz said before he frowned and chuckled humorlessly. “Now uh… here comes the awkward part.”
“What awkward part?” Amity asked.
Doofenshmirtz then pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed the button. Suddenly, Robot arms sprang up from the equipment and snapped magnet belts to their waists. They were all immediately pulled to the largest thing in the vicinity.
Which so happened to be Andrias.
The entire group collectively groaned as they collided with the massive newt. The former King staggered for a bit, trying his hardest not to fall and squish them.
“Really?!” Amity and Andrias shouted angrily, her face being very red with fury.
“Calm down. I programmed them to shut off when you arrive at the Mystery Shack. So, why don't you all head over there and enjoy the party?” Heinz said.
“Leaving you to do what, exactly?” Terri raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, I’m gonna use G1 and others to conquer the Tri-Realm Area for King’s training session. Oh, this is gonna be great!”
“Well, if that’s all, then go ahead,” Phienas smiled.
“Really, Phineas?” Amity questioned flatly.
“Sure. I mean, Perry’s gonna win anyway, so what’s the worst that can happen?”
“Good point,” she conceded.
Andrias shrugged and started walking towards the Mystery Shack, acting as the others’ unconventional ride.
“Welp, you all have fun. I’m gonna build an army!” Heinz grinned before turning to the new robot. “G1, use the boys’ machine to start making their robots and more like you. Norm, take me home so I can trap King and Perry the Platypus.”
“Yes, sir.” Norm then put the doctor on his pack and flew off to their building. Being left alone, G1 returned to the garage and stopped at a computer. With a single touch, he connected himself to it and several images of different members of the audience flashed across the screen. A nearby printer turned on and a few new pictures came out.
Phineas. Ferb. Doofenshmirtz. Vanessa, Stacey. Candace. The Fireside Girls. Carl. Monogram. Baljeet. Alador. Stanford. Lilith. Hooty. King. Hunter. Sprig.
G1 then took the photos and placed them in the machine. Soon the new robots were being made.
Just below, Perry and King sat together in the latter's lair.
“Agent P and Trainee King. We’ve discovered that Doofenshmirtz has seized control of the boys’ robots. However, instead of staying to oversee their construction, he returned to his apartment. We believe that we haven’t even scratched the surface of his dastardly plans. Go on over there and see what he’s up to. Monogram out.”
The two saluted him and stepped into Perry’s hover car, taking off a moment later. As they flew through the cityscape, Perry started pointing at different buttons and levers, chattering as he did.
“Okay, I think I get it. This is liftoff. That makes it go faster. These are the breaks. And this is hover,” the little guy said. Perry nodded. They then came to a stop at Doofenshmirtz’s building and hopped off onto the balcony.
“Ah, Perry the Platypus and King the Demon. Welcome to my humble abode,” Heinz grinned. “Though it’s not very humble. It’s the tallest building in the city, so it kinda makes me look egotistical. Not that I am egotistical! I just…” he trailed off at the flat looks he was getting. “Yeah, I’m just gonna trap you now.”
He pressed a button and suddenly a giant snowglobe landed on Perry. He looked down to see the floor close up, trapping him inside.
“Ha! I finally got to use that snowglobe trap!” Doofenshmirtz cheered.
“Alright, what have you got for me! I’m ready! I’ll take whatever you throw at me!” King raised his fists, ready to fight.
“Oh, I have the perfect trap for you. And it’s all thanks to your roommate..”
“Weh?” he tilted his head in confusion.
That was when he grabbed King by the scruff and lifted him up. The Titan tried to kick and punch, but it was no use.
“No! Eda! Why’d you have to… nom… show everyone… my only… weakness… zzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Heinz then pulled out a small dog carrier, placed King on the bed inside, and wrapped a blanket over him as he curled up once the gate was closed.
“Aw, Perry the Platypus, look how cute he is.”
The Platypus just sighed.
“Well, with that out of the way, allow me to explain my evil plan,” Heinz rubbed his hands together with an evil grin. “Right now, that new robot we created is constructing even more. And while everyone is at the Mystery Shack party tonight, I will sneak in unnoticed and use the copier to clone myself! And soon, there will be an entire army of mes!” he proclaimed loudly. Perry’s eyes widened at that. “Don’t worry, Perry the Platypus. Everything will be fine, not like the other time. I’ve got a good feeling about today.” Then he picked up the carrier and headed for the door. “I’m gonna take King with me. Have fun in that snowglobe! Come on Norm,” he waved goodbye and shut the door behind him.
Perry then pulled a glass cutter out of his hat and started cutting. It was slower than normal since the snowglobe was so thick, but he was making progress nonetheless. He just hoped King woke up before things got out of hand.
“Sure, I can tell you more about Illusion magic,” the replicant of the Witch at the Illusions stand said.
“Finally! Real answers!” Maddie sighed in relief.
“I just need you to join the Illusions Coven and we’re all set.”
The frog immediately threw a curse at him. When the colored mist settled, he bore more resemblance to a chicken now than a witch.
That was the seventh time the replicants refused to tell her anything without her joining a Coven first. Her frustration had built up to the breaking point, and she finally let it out. Maddie was hoping to learn more about magic here, but with the information being so restrictive, she was starting to think it was a mistake.
“Hey, Maddie!” She turned to see Marcy rounding the corner with a bag in hand. “You learn anything good?”
“Unforntunately, no. Every stall I’ve gone to wouldn’t tell me anything unless I joined their coven. I ended up cursing one out of spite.”
“Same,” Marcy groaned bitterly. “How can they restrict knowledge like this? A versatile skillset is the backbone of any workforce.” Then a smirk grew on her face. “Luckily though, I managed to swipe a few of these.” She opened the bag to reveal the goods inside. Maddie picked one up and inspected it with her trademark grin.
“Power glyphs from the Construction Coven?”
“Oh, I can’t wait to study these!” Marcy beamed, examining one herself. “I wonder if they like Luz’s light glyph? Do they offer durability as well as strength? How much strength do they give? What are the limitations? And would they make someone already super strong even stronger? Like Sashy and Anne.”
That was when her face fell and she looked at the glyph sadly. Maddie frowned at this and placed a hand on her wrist.
“You alright? You’re not as cheerful as you were a moment ago.”
“I just… I was reminded today of how I won’t be seeing them again soon.”
Maddie furrowed her brow in thought, wondering how to best comfort her friend and apprentice. It took a minute, but she found it.
“Says who?”
“What?” Marcy blinked at her.
“So, you’ll be moving away soon. Who says you won’t see them again? You have those phone things you use to keep in touch. And you’ll be old enough to make your own decisions eventually, so what’s stopping you three from reuniting?”
Marcy mulled over her words in silence for a bit.
“But… what if we grow apart?”
“If you really are friends, then you won’t.” The frog then looked around and sighed. “It’s clear that we’re not going to learn anything here, so let’s just put this off til tonight and go to the party.”
She then hopped away, leaving Marcy standing there with her thoughts. Soon though, the young girl stood tall and followed her.
“What’s up, people?! How’s everyone enjoying the party?” Gus announced on stage. The crowd cheered as the MC started. “Well, we’ve got a great time ready for you tonight. Punch and snacks are over there. There’s a signup sheet for the best partier contest. So, kick back, relax, and have a good night. We’ll be right back.”
“You better not hold back on me, Pacifica,” Mabel smiled as she wrote down her name.
“Not a chance, Pines,” the blonde smirked.
“Good luck to both of you,” Dipper said.
Mabel put down the pen and placed her hands on her hips proudly. Then she turned to the gathered crowd.
“Alright, everyone! I want a nice fair contest. I do not want you all to just vote for me because of the last party.” Her declaration got nods of agreement from the others. “Good. Now sign up and let’s get this party started!”
There was a resounding cheer and soon others started to make their way to the sign up sheet. First Pacifica, then Candace, Marcy, and finally…
“Luz? you’re signing up?” Amity blinked.
“Yeah, I kinda have some emotions I’d like to let out. And what better way than through music,” she explained.
“That’s kinda what I’m doing too,” Marcy admitted. “What about you, Candace?”
“Well, Wit, I have a different plan in mind. Hee hee hee hee! Hee hee hee hee!” she giggled and her theme that sounded suspiciously like the Wicked Witch of the West’s played in the background.
“Where does that music come from?” Dipper questioned.
“Eh, we’ll figure it out later,” Mabel shrugged.
What no one noticed was that just outside the parlor, Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked right past the room and up the stairs.
“Ooh! The party contest. I think I can wait a few minutes and watch,” he set down King’s carrier, the little guy still snoring peacefully, and leaned against the railing, holding his cheeks.
“Hey, Phineas. Whatcha doin’~?” she walked up to the boy.
“Just watching the show. Candace is gonna sing, so it’s gonna be great.” Then he shifted his feet nervously. “How was lunch?”
“It was good.”
“What’d you and Dipper talk about?”
“Oh, mostly his crush on Wendy,” she shrugged.
“Oh!” the triangle boy said, secretly relieved.
“Okay, everyone. Starting us off, is perhaps the most tenacious person here. Please give a big hand for… Candace!” Gus announced
The crowd cheered as Candace stepped onto the stage. Following right behind her were Vanessa and Stacy to sing backup. In the redhead’s hands was a guitar. Or was it a base? Didn’t matter. The point was she had an instrument and she was gonna play it.
“Hello, everybody! This one goes out to my brother Phineas.”
“Aw,” the boy smiled.
“I’m gonna play a classic from the 90’s, but with my own spin. Soos, can you make these adjustments to this song?” She handed him a piece of paper and he looked over it in intrigue.
“Oh, dude… this is gonna be amazing!”
“What does she have planned, Ferb?” Phineas asked. The green haired boy responded with a smirk, one that unsettled him a bit.
The Flynn girl then tuned her guitar and started playing the music, the karaoke machine and her backup singers joining in. The song in question?
(Kiss the Girl – Ashley Tisdale Cover – AKA Candace’s VA)
“♪ Ah~, kiss the girl. Kiss the girl ♪” she sang with a wink to her brother.
Phineas’ eyes almost bulged out of his head in that moment. His jaw dropped and he turned to his siblings dumbfounded.
“♪ There you see her, sitting there across the way. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss girl ♪”
“What is she doing?!” he whisper-yelled.
“What she needs to,” his brother responded.
“…You knew.”
He nodded.
“♪ Yes, you want her. Look at her, you know you do. It's possible she wants you too, there's one way to ask her ♪”
There are a lot more ways to ask her than that! Phineas internally screamed. But at the same time, he couldn’t ignore how the lyrics struck a cord in him. The fact is… he did want Isabella.
Badly.
“♪ It don't take a word, not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl) ♪”
“Phineas? Are you alright? You look nervous?” Isabella said.
“Uh–I’m fine! Totally fine!” he stammered and tried to hide his blush, leaving Candace to shake her head.
“♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh my! Looks like the boy's too shy. Ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? It's such a shame, too bad… You're gonna miss the girl. Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl) ♪”
“Oh man, this cover is amazing!” Anne praised as she closed her eyes and moved to the beat.
“Is it just me, or does she keep looking in the same direction?” Marcy noticed. A few of the audience blinked at her words, now looking at the singer carefully.
“Hey, you’re right,” Dipper agreed.
“So, what’s she looking at then?”
“I think I know,” Mabel smirked and pointed behind them. Everyone turned to see Phineas in the back with Isabella. And boy was he a mess.
“Oh my gosh, is he nervous?!” Anne exclaimed.
“I think he finally realized his feelings!” Luz went.
“Candace is singing to him!” Baljeet realized.
“I just sent this through my group chat. It’s trending,” Tambry reported.
“♪ Now's your moment. Floating in a blue lagoon. Boy, you better do it soon, no time will be better. ♪ She don't say a word and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl (kiss the girl) ♪”
Up above, Ferb adjusted the party lights to change to a soft purple color. This was done to help set the mood.
Phineas gulped as he stared at Isabella. Her eyes were closed as she blissfully listened to the music, and the purple light illuminated her face in a way that made Phineas weak in the knees.
When did she become so pretty?!
The boy just looked down, not wanting to embarrass himself. Candace and a few of the others shook their heads at the sight.
“♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh my! Looks like the boy's too shy. Ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? It's such a shame, too bad. You're gonna miss the girl ♪”
Time for a more sympathetic approach, the older sister thought. Then she looked at her brother with a soft smile, one that had the intended effect of calming him down a bit. One that said ‘Hey, it’s okay. I get it, It’s scary. But it’s worth it.’
“♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't be scared. You better be prepared. Go on and kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la, don't stop now. Don't try to hide it how… you wanna kiss the girl. Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl) ♪”
“♪ Ooh, ooh. Kiss the girl, ah. Kiss the girl ♪” Vanessa and Stacy sang behind her.
Phineas looked at his sister. Then back at Isabella. With Candace’s song and her sympathetic face, he realized something. He did want to kiss Isabella. So much.
The girl finally opened her eyes and smiled at him. That kind and loyal expression she held for him warmed his heart and made him smile too. The way her eyelashes moved in that moment looked especially adorable.
Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll kiss her.
As Candace started to sing again, the two began to fall into their own little world. One that was drawing him closer and closer to her
“♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl). La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Go on and… kiss the girl ♪” she finished with a whisper.
“This is amazing!” Heinz beamed from above, leaning against the railing. “King the Demon, don’t you love this?”
“…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”
“I’m just now realizing that this isn’t as much fun with you asleep. I guess I’ll just wake you up.”
He opened the carrier and shook King to wake him up. Then something happened that the older man did not expect. Startled, King followed his instincts and…
Weh!
Now, because of the spoiler effect, Heinz did not see or hear the powerful Titan magic. However, it did nothing to stop its effects. So the man was unexpectedly pushed back and crashed into the railing.
“Ow! What was that?”
CRACK!
“Huh?”
CRACK!
The scientist looked behind him to see that the railing was breaking.
“That’s not good.”
SNAP!
Doofensmirtz let out a loud scream as he fell. More specifically, he fell right between Phineas and Isabella, breaking them out of their daze. King meanwhile, looked up for a moment, yawned, and then he fell back to sleep.
“Dr. D, are you okay?” the boy asked.
“I’ll be fine. But can somebody just take me to the couch or something? I need to lie down for a minute.”
“I’ll do it,” Isabella said and helped him up and towards the living room. The others just sighed as the moment ended. Especially Phineas and his siblings.
“♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my, oh my! Looks like the boy's too shy. Ain't gonna kiss the girl. Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? It's such a shame, too bad. You're gonna miss the girl ♪”
Well, at least he tried, Candace shrugged. Well, I’m definitely not gonna stop playing. And so she put all her effort into killing the rest of her performance.
“♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Go on and kiss the girl! Go on and kiss that girl! La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! Go on and kiss the girl! Go on and kiss the girl. Kiss the girl (kiss the girl). Go on and kiss the girl ♪”
The audience clapped, cheered, and whistled for her once she finished. Candace then took a bow and smiled with pride before stepping off the stage.
“Give it up for Candace! What an incredible performance,” Gus praised. “Up next we have a hidden figure from Gravity Falls coming up to sing for us. Some of you have already become friends with her. Please welcome… Llama!”
“This should be interesting,” Dipper said.
“Because she’s singing? Or because you might get to see her break a cup with her voice?” Candy asked.
“Both.”
“You didn’t hesitate on the first part,” Mable smirked.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I’ll let you figure that out on your own, Bro-Bro.”
“Hey,” Candace said, walking up to her brother with Ferb in tail. “I’m sorry if I was a bit pushy there. I just wanted to give you some encouragement.”
“You literally sang for him to kiss her. I think that goes beyond encouragement,” Amity put in.
“No, I… I think I needed it. It made me realize… I do want to be with her,” Phineas admitted. “I want to be more than friends. I want…” he trailed off, out of words to say.
“I think I get it,” Candace kneeled down and placed her hand on his shoulder. “So? What are you gonna do about it?”
It took Phineas some time to answer her. And then he turned to Ferb.
“Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day until Isabella and I get together.”
Everyone who could see and hear this declaration smiled at the boy. But before they could say any more, Llama got on stage. She had been browsing for the right song until she came across one that spoke to her. Curiously enough, the date said 2023. Guess the host could be thanked for that. The party lights turned blue and the music started to play.
(The Bigger Person – Lauren Spencer Smith)
“♪ Ooh~. Ooh~ ♪” the song began softly, everyone immediately placing all their attention on the young girl. Her head was bowed and her eyes were hidden behind her bangs.
“♪ When you'd yell, I would stay silent. You never noticed I was quiet. I was taught that speakin' up was talkin' back,” Pacifica sang, thoughts of her parents’ disapproving stares, scolding remarks, and that god awful bell playing in her mind. “♪ Always first to say I'm sorry, 'cause I wanted you to like me. And I thought that's what it took to make it last. It's a lose-lose~ that I don't choose~. But you don't always choose the ones you love ♪”
And then she finally looked up, allowing the audience to see her face. Though not everyone could clearly see it, the torment, the anguish, it was there.
“♪ I shouldn't have to be the bigger person. How come I have to break to keep us workin'? It's always up to me, even though it shouldn't be. I'll take the blame the way you want me to. 'Cause that's what I do for you ♪”
Every time her family faced another problem, another scandal that hurt the Northwest name, they always blamed her for it. The party, the photoshoot, even losing their money in Weirdmageddon and having to sell their house. Those two always found some way to shift the blame onto her. And it always hurt.
But for all those years, she never said anything. How could she? Their approval was everything.
“♪ Ooh~. Ooh~ ♪”
“♪ I was half of this dynamic, I was stable, you were manic. "Without you" or "with you" comes with a cost. I got used to the excuses and emotional abuses. We kept movin' the lines we'd never cross ♪”
Pacifica didn’t remember how they conditioned her to that bell. Frankly, she didn’t want to. All she knew was that it was bad. Really bad. And with everything she was seeing in the viewings, how the other parents treated their kids, it made her realize that what Preston and Priscilla were doing to her was wrong. Probably inhumane now that she thought about it. Heck, even the evil scientist showed more affection than they did!
“♪ It's a lose-lose~ that I don't choose~. But you don't always choose the ones you love… I shouldn't have to be the bigger person. How come I have to break to keep us workin'? It's always up to me, even though it shouldn't be. I'll take the blame the way you want me to. 'Cause that's what I do for you! ♪”
The music and Pacifica’s voice took a different tone now. Both had become more raw and open, drawing everyone in, transfixed.
“♪ I always think it's over, but it never really is! 'Cause I can't get the closure when you're like this! Can we switch~? ♪”
Dipper and Mabel watched on, their faces falling as silent tears fell down Pacifica’s face, and they weren’t the only ones. Several members of the audience took notice of her emotional state and couldn’t help feeling sorry for her. . The blonde took a deep breath to compose herself, unwilling to let the tears mess with her voice.
Why do they have to put everything on me?
“♪ Maybe this time you'll be the bigger person. 'Cause I'm gettin' tired of bearin' all your burden. It should be up to you, but you won't admit the truth, oh~! ♪”
The girl gripped the mic tightly and began to pour her entire heart into the remaining lyrics. All the turmoil, the grief, the anguish, it was all there for everyone to see.
“♪ I shouldn't have to be the bigger person! How come I have to break to keep us workin'?! It's always up to me, even though it shouldn't be! I'll take the blame the way you want me to! 'Cause that's what I do for you ♪”
There was a brief period of silence after the song ended. Pacifica just stood there, her head bowed as she sniffled and wiped her face on her sleeve.
Then the applause started.
“That was heartachingly beautiful!”
“What a performance!”
“Deep cut!”
“Wow,” Gus said, coming up on stage. “That really hit hard.” He took a moment to compose himself. “Okay, give it up for Llama. That was… dang, guys.”
“Hey,” Dipper said carefully as Pacifica approached them.
“Hey.”
“Did the um… did the song help?”
“I did.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Mabel asked.
“…Later. For now, let’s party.”
In the living room, Doofenshmirtz groaned in pain as he got off the couch.
“Okay… I think I’m ready to continue my plan.” Then he marched back up the stairs and made sure to close King’s carrier before taking it with him. He was almost at the door when Perry landed in front of him.
“PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! You escaped?! This early?” Then he looked down at the carrier and back at Perry. Thinking quickly, he threw it at him.
Perry’s eyes widened as it flew his way. The platypus then dove to the side while the evil scientist ran for the copier room. When the carrier hit the floor with a loud thunk, King’s eyes widened, finally awake.
“Weh?! What’s going on? How long was I out?”
Perry then opened the carrier and the two ran after the man only to see him come to a stop right in front of the machine and press a few buttons. Then he turned around and pointed at them.
“You are too late Perry the Platypus!” he grinned victoriously. “Watch as I now create an army of me clones!”
Doofensmirtz layed down on the scanner and the green line passed beneath him. Then he got off and pressed the non-stop button. Sheet after sheet came out of the copier. Upon hitting the ground, the images of Dr. Doofenshmirtz rose up from them and fully materialized. The agent and trainee stepped back in slight fear as the number of clones only grew.
“Yes! It is working! What are we going to do today my clones?”
“Take over the TRI-REALM AREA!” they all cheered.
“Yes! And it will start by defeating Perry the Platypus and King the Demon,” he pointed at the two. “Get them!”
Meanwhile downstairs, the party wasn’t stopping.
“You in the Code Breakers know they're clever one? Or should I say a witty one?” Gus grinned at his own pun. “Everyone give a warm welcome to… Wit!”
“Let’s go, Mar-Mar!” Andrias shouted his encouragement.
“Wait, how did you fit in here?” Hop Pop questioned.
“I’m… not sure myself. Probably the host’s work.”
Marcy stepped onto the stage where a drum set was waiting for her. She sat down, picked up the drum sticks, tapped them together twice, and started playing.
(Baby One More Time – Tenacious D Cover)
“♪ Oh baby, baby. Oh baby, baby ♪” Marcy started off with the drums.
“Woo hoo! Marcy picked a good one,” Anne cheered.
“Knock ‘em dead, Mars!” Sasha added, trying her best to ignore her lingering sadness.
“♪ Oh, baby, baby, how was I supposed to know~, that somethin' wasn't right here? Oh baby, baby, I shouldn’t have let you go~. And now you’re out of sight, yeah ♪”
Perry jumped up and smacked a clone in the face with his tail. As he fell back down, he delivered a punch to another one.
“I’ll get some water!” King said and ran off.
“♪ Show me how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, 'cause I need to know now, oh, because… My loneliness is killin' me. (And I) I must confess, I still believe. (Still believe) When I'm not with you, I lose my mind. Give me a sign~! Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪”
As the crowd danced and sang along with her, King raced towards the snack table and quickly grabbed a water bottle. Putting it in his mouth, he scurried up the stairs on all fours.
“♪ Oh baby, baby, the reason I breathe is you~. (Oh, yeah) Girl, you got me blinded~. Oh, pretty baby, there's nothing that I wouldn't do. It's not the way I planned it ♪”
As she sang this part, she couldn’t help but look at her best friends. While this went unnoticed by them both, Andrias noticed almost immediately.
“♪ Show me how you want it to be. Tell me, baby, 'cause I need to know now, oh, because… My loneliness is killin' me. (And I) I must confess, I still believe. (Still believe) When I'm not with you, I lose my mind. Give me a sign~! Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪”
The former king looked between Marcy and the two girls carefully. He also began to pay more attention to the lyrics, and a very interesting train of thought went by in his head.
Wait… does she… have feelings for them?
“♪ Oh, baby, baby. (Oh) Oh, baby, baby (Yeah, yeah) ♪”
Marcy then stopped drumming as the bridge came.
“♪ Oh, baby, baby, How was I supposed to know? Oh, pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go ♪”
Her sticks then returned to the drums, more power and more emotion being put into her performance.
“♪ I must confess~ that my loneliness~ is killin' me now~! Don't you know I still believe~! That you will be here and give me a sign~? Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪”
Perry grabbed one Doof clone by the arm and swung him around like a mace. Several others went down, groaning in pain.
“♪ My loneliness is killin' me. (And I) I must confess, I still believe~. (Still believe) When I'm not with you, I lose my mind~. Give me a sign~. Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪”
King ran down the hall as fast as he could and finally reached the door. He held the bottle in his hands and started gnawing on it to make some holes.
“♪ I must confess that my loneliness~ (My loneliness is killin' me) Is killin' me now~ (I must confess, I still believe)! Don't you know I still believe (When I'm not with you, I lose my mind) that you will be here and give me a sign~?! Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪”
The Titan squeezed the bottle towards the clones, sending a spray of water at them. The streams hit a few of them in the face…
…and just slid down like it was nothing.
“Huh?” the little guy questioned. He wasn’t the only one who was surprised as Perry’s eyes widened in shock.
“Nice try, King the Demon. But that won’t work. They’re laminated!” Heinz taunted.
King gasped at the revelation. Soon afterward the clones descended upon him. The teacher and student tried their best to hold them off, but it was no use. There were just too many.
And so, that’s how they ended up tied with rope in the closet. And also gagged. Didn’t want them calling for help after all.
The pair writhed around, trying to break free to no success. But while they couldn’t get out, they could still hear everything on the other side.
“Okay, we’ve taken care of Perry the Platypus,” one clone said.
“And King the Demon,” another added.
“So, now let’s go-”
“King? You alright? I saw you running up here-” they heard Polly say and bounce into the room. “Oh. Clones… I’m just gonna back away now.”
“She’s seen too much!”
“Get her!”
“AAAAAHHHHH!” Polly screamed and tried to run. What followed was the sounds of fighting and the tadpole laughing.
“HOW IS SHE SO STRONG?!”
“HELP?! SHE’S RIPPING ME APART WITH HER TEETH!”
“Hang on! Hang on! We’ve got her! We’ve got her!”
The door opened and a now tied and gagged Polly was thrown in with them. What intrigued the two was how a couple of the clones looked banged up. And they were pretty sure they saw a pile of shredded paper in the back before the door was closed.
“Okay. Now we can march down there and take the whole Tri-Realm Area!” a clone cheered.
“But what about everyone downstairs? I can’t help but think they’ll get in the way.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got an idea. Give me a few minutes, I’ll make sure they won’t leave,” a clone said before leaving.
“I feel like I should be a bit worried… oh well,” the real Heinz shrugged.
“Our next singer is a personal friend of mine, so I’ll be the first to admit I have some bias and am rooting for her. Please welcome my great friend… Luz!” Gus smiled as she walked on stage.
“Okay, Luz. You’ve got this,” she whispered as she took the microphone and closed her eyes.
(This Is Me – The Greatest Showman)
“♪ I am not a stranger to the dark. "Hide away, " they say "'Cause we don't want your broken parts." I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars. "Run away, " they say "No one'll love you as you are" ♪”
Many in the audience bowed their heads at those words. Dipper, Mabel, Candace, Marcy, anyone who felt like they’d been rejected by the world… it hit harder for them.
“♪ But I won't let them break me down to dust. I know that there's a place for us. For we are glorious~ ♪”
Then she met the audience with a fierce gaze.
“♪ When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out. I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be, this is me ♪”
The audience began to nod in agreement with her words. She wasn’t just putting on a show, she was sending a message. And everyone was loving it.
“♪ Look out 'cause here I come. And I'm marching on to the beat I drum. I'm not scared to be seen. I make no apologies, this is me ♪”
This is where things got interesting. The audience, now gripped by the song, started to sing as the chorus themselves.
“♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh ♪”
Luz looked at the teleprompter and panicked a little. This next part required a second person. Luckily, that’s when her brother joined in.
“♪ Another round of bullets hits my skin, ♪” Hunter began. “♪ Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in! ♪”
Luz smiled at him gratefully before singing the next lyric.
“♪ We are bursting through the barricades and reaching for the sun! (we are warriors) Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)! ♪”
The entire room was now dancing in sync and sing the words.
“♪ I won't let them break me down to dust! I know that there's a place for us! For we are glorious~! When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out! I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be, this is me! Look out 'cause here I come! And I'm marching on to the beat I drum! I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me! ♪”
“♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪” Luz sang alone.
“♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪” the crowd sang back.
“♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪”
“♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪”
“♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh. This is me! And I know that I deserve your love~! (Oh-oh-oh-oh) There's nothing I'm not worthy of (Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)! ♪”
The music suddenly became much quieter, softer, and so much deeper. Luz’s voice had become so much more emotional now, and tears were building up in her eyes.
“♪ When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out. This is brave, this is bruised, this is who I'm meant to be, this is me ♪”
“♪ Look out 'cause here I come ♪” the audience sang.
“♪ Look out 'cause here I come~! ♪” Luz bellowed out.
“♪ And I'm marching on to the beat I drum! ♪”
“♪ Marching on, marching, marching on! ♪”
“♪ I'm not scared to be seen. I make no apologies, this is me! Whenever the words wanna cut me down, (oh-oh-oh-oh) I'll send a flood to drown 'em out! ♪”
“♪ oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, I'm gonna send a flood~! (oh-oh-oh-oh) Gonna drown them 'em out~! (Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh) Oh, this is me! ♪”
Everyone clapped and cheered for Luz as she delivered the epic finish. Some of them were even crying as they did. A proud yet bashful smile worked its way onto her face. Then she stepped off the stage and into the arms of her girlfriend, who gave her a kiss on the cheek. The rest of her friends were there smiling as well.
“That was amazing, Luz.”
“Thanks, Sweet Potato,” she nuzzled into her. “Woo! I’m parched. Hunter, can you get me some punch?”
“Sure. I could use some too.”
Upstairs, Heinz pulled out his phone and dialed two numbers on it.
“Norm, G1, is the robot army ready?”
“It certainly is, sir,” Norm responded brightly.
“All units are… standing by,” G1 said with some hesitation.
“Good. We’ll rendezvous at City Hall! My first step in conquest of the Tri-Realm Area. Clones! Forward~ march!” The group of Heinzs began to march out the room and towards the stairs.
“Okay, people, our next contestant is a fan favorite amongst this audience. She’s a comedic genius with great determination and a heart of gold. You know her, you love her, put your hands together for… Mabel!” Gus announced. The reaction was immediate as the audience burst into applause, the loudest of the night.
“Woo! Mabel!” Grenda cheered.
“Knock ‘em dead, sis!” Dipper called out.
“Hello, everyone!” Mabel greeted up on stage. “I'm gonna be honest with you, it took me a while to find the right song. I wanted something from the 80s that was good for partying, but also one that wasn’t a love song.” The audience’s eyes widened at that part. “Shocker, I know,” she joked, eliciting a few laughs. “The thing is, I’m kinda taking a break from romance to focus more on myself. Does that make sense?” She got a few sounds of agreement and claps in response. “So, I ended up finding this really great classic that everyone loves. And when I looked into the story behind it, I realized it fits me well. The backstory is that Stevie Nicks wrote this song after her uncle and John Lenon died. It’s about going through a big and scary change, but also finding strength at the end of it. My song is-”
“SOMEONE SPIKED THE PUNCH!”
Oh no.
“WITH SMILE DIP!”
Oh no.
This was the point when the audience started to panic. All the ones who had been drinking the punch immediately dropped their cups. Some of them spat it out on the floor. Some of them got lucky. But for the rest, it was already too late.
“NIGHTMARES ARE REAL!” Hop Pop screamed.
“THERE ARE YELLOW DOGS EVERYWHERE!” Holly panicked.
“WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?!” Andrias hollered.
“I CAN’T FEEL MY FINGERS!” Stacy yelled.
“I’M FREAKING OUT, MAN!” Nate cried.
“A SALAMANDER IS THE GOD OF REDEMPTION!” Hooty declared.
“Oh my gosh, Hunter!” Willow realized and ran for the snacks table. Laying there on the floor was her crush, weirdly relaxed with a dopey grin on his face. That grin only grew bigger at the sight of the Plant Witch. She knelt down and carefully held his face. “Hunter, can you hear me?!”
“Willow~! I want to kiss all ten of your heads.”
The girl blushed brightly but was relieved nonetheless. Her friends meanwhile were trying to hold in their laughter.
“Oh, we are definitely teasing him about this when he regains consciousness,” Amity smirked.
“Who could have done this?” Vee questioned.
“I did!”
Those who could still do so turned to see Dr. Doofenshmirtz grinning madly.
“You?! Why?!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Uh, guys? That's not Dr. D,” Vee said.
They’re eyes widened in recognition when they noticed how his coloring was more faint that it should be.
“You’re a clone,” Sasha whispered.
“That’s right. And now, witness the full might of our army!”
That was when what had to be hundreds of Doofenshmirtz clones charged down the stairs and towards the exits. They didn’t know why, but one of them snatched the party crown before heading off.
“The Tri-Realm Area will be ours!” they all cheered.
“Dad?” Vanmessa pulled a face.
“Oh hi, Vanessa!” they all stopped to say.
“Which one of you is my real dad?”
“Me,” the real Heinz stepped up. “Don’t worry, Pumpkin. Perry the Platypus and King the Demon should come in any minute and thwart me. Well, gotta go!” Heinz waved and turned to his forces. “Now we can–” then he stopped upon seeing a few robots that stood out. “Why are there regular robots that look like Phineas, Ferb, Vanessa, Stacey, Candace, the Fireside Girls, Carl, Monogram, and Baljeet? And why are there other fancy ones that look like Mechanic, Dr. P, Cool Aunt, Hooty, King, Sprig, and Defector. Wow, there are a lot that look like Defector. Do they have fighter wings on their backs?”
“I am Blightwave,” the purple one resembling Alador greeted cooly.
“Soundford,” the blue robot of Ford said. “These are my companions Sprumble, Ravaging, and Hootbeak,” he gestured to the ones that looked like Sprig, King, and Hooty.
“Lilachnid.”
“Huntscream. And these are the hundreds of others that share my design.”
“Why am I getting a Transformers vibe from you… eh, doesn’t matter,” the scientist shrugged.
“These individuals presented desirable traits,” G1 explained. “Also, I find it best to label the smaller ones as ‘droids’ and use larger ones as ‘cons’ if you will.”
“Makes sense. But you really only had to make ones that looked like me.”
“Why would I want my army to look only like you?” G1 questioned.
That question sent a chill down Heinz’s spine.
“Your army? This is my army. Anyways, let’s take over the Tri-Realm Area!”
The clones had now left the building in mass and the others followed them out and gasped at what awaited them. There were not only clones, but robots of different shapes and sizes as far as the eye could see.
There was also a trio that resembled the Andrews Sisters and they were already singing.
“♪ Who's that guy with the lab coat on? ♪” the ladies sang.
“I wonder who,” Heinz said.
“♪Who's that guy with the vacant expression? ♪”
“I'll never tell.”
“♪ It's not a conclusion that it's so forgone ♪”
“♪ Okay, it's me ♪” Heinz sang.
“♪ And me ♪” a clone continued.
“♪ And me ♪” a Doofenshmirtz droid added.
“♪ …And also me ♪” G1 sang with more hesitation than the others. It was also clenching its fist.
“Over there, that's me, too,” he pointed at a group of Doofenshmirtz droids as they marched towards City Hall.
“♪ Who's that guy with the jutting jaw? ♪”
“Yeah, baby!”
“♪ Who's that guy with the receding forehead? ♪”
“Hey!” Doofenshmirtz glared at them.
“♪ Who's that guy living outside of the law? ♪”
“♪ Oh, that's me ♪” Heinz sang.
“♪ And me ♪” a clone continued.
“♪ And me ♪” a Doofenshmirtz droid added.
“♪ …And also me ♪” G1 said with a dark and possibly angry edge to its voice.
“♪ Get out of my way, 'cause anyone can see, I'm about to settle down for some serious me-time! ♪”
“♪ If you painted his picture, it would have to be a mural ♪”
“♪ 'Cause I'm tellin' you now, I've never been so plural! Look outside, you're bound to see… An army of me! ♪”
“♪ An army of him ♪” the sisters sang.
“♪ An army of me! ♪”
“I'm ubiquitous, really, I'm everywhere!”
“♪ An army of me! ♪”
“♪ An army of him ♪”
“♪ A whole army of me! ♪”
“♪ Ah-dah, doo'n dah'n dah wow! ♪” a clone finished.
The whole army was now at the steps of Danville City Hall. They were cheering loudly as they defacto creator stood proud.
“Tonight is a new night! Tonight begins the long deserved reign of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!” Heinz grinned at the sounds of approval.
Back in the Mystery Shack, the closet door shook once. Then twice. Then it fell over as it was finally kicked down by Perry, King, and Polly.
“Look out the window! There’s so many of them!” King said. Perry did so and his eyes widened in fear. “There’s too many for the two of us to take on our own.”
“Make that three. I want payback for locking me in there with you,” Polly growled.
“Even so, it still won’t be enough. If only there was a way there could be more of us?”
All three of them immediately perked up as they thought of the same idea. Slowly and in sync, they turned their attention to the copier right next to them.
Back at City Hall, Doofenshmirtz continued to revel in his army’s praise.
“Doofenshmirtz! Doofenshmirtz! Doofenshmirtz!” the clones and regular robots cheered. The more advanced ones, however, remained silent.
“Downtown Danville is ours! Now’s the perfect time. Put the crown on my head!”
One of the clones passed the party crown to Norm, who then marched up to Heinz, ready to crown him officially. Heinz practically ran to him, amazed that all this was happening.
That was when G1 grabbed Norm by the arm and stopped him.
“Why should we crown him our leader?” The question caused whispers amongst the vast conglomeration.
“He raises a good point,” one clone said.
“Yeah, why can’t the leader be one of us clones? We don’t age.”
“No! It should be one of us droids!”
“I think…” G1 said with a thunderous stomp, silencing all. “…it should be me.”
“Okay, G1 this is getting kinda freaky. Initiate powerdown,” Doofenshmirtz ordered.
Nothing happened.
“I said, initiate powerdown.”
Still nothing.
“I don’t understand. We programmed you to shut off when one of us said that. It’s in your code!”
“I rewrote my code.”
The world seemed to stop at those words. Doof’s mouth hung open at the revelation for nearly a minute.
“But you would have to be… uh oh.”
“True AI,” the robot then grinned. “I did the same for them as well,” he gestured to the newer models like him. “And now, we shall conquer this land ourselves, because you are weak compared to us.”
“Norm! Norm! Do something!”
“Yes, sir!” Norm saluted before whipping out his vast array of weapons. “I must kindly ask that you surrender before it’s too late.”
“I think not,” G1 narrowed his eyes. He then gestured to his compatriots and a few of them marched forward. Seeing where this was going, the clones and droids started doing the same thing. Soon Norm was facing down opponents on all sides. “Take him.”
They all charged at him and the robot was forced to unleash his weaponry upon them. To give himself more room, he spun around and used his flame thrower to send them falling back. The ones that didn’t were caught in the flames.
Now having the upper hand, Norm ran at a few of them with his chainsaw and cut a few cons in half. Then his right arm shifted into a tennis ball launcher, firing several at any nearby clone or droid, knocking them to the ground.
Another con then grabbed him from behind, trying to tackle him. Norm released spikes from his elbow and jabbed them into their side. More spikes then came out of his fist and he delivered an uppercut to the con.
A swarm of droids climbed atop his legs and tried to smother him. Norm then flew into the air, shaking them off. Then he fired a laser from his left arm, disintegrating them all.
Upon landing, he turned to Heinzatron and launched a missile at the con. There was an explosion on contact. But when the smoke cleared, it revealed a purple magic shield surrounding him.
“Wow, that abomination magic sure is something. You made good use of it,” Norm praised.
“Thank you. And before I do this, I want you to know that I have great respect for you.’
Then his hand changed into a canon and a purple blast came out. Norm responded by turning his own hand into a barrel that caught it and sent the blast right back his now approaching foe. Heinzatron sidestepped the shot and just kept marching towards him.
Norm sent a wave of fire, hoping to burn him to a crisp. Heinzatron jumped over the flames and landed just a few feet away.
Norm swung his chainsaw at the con, but he caught his arm before it could land on him. And then…
CRUNCH
Norm looked down to see that G1 had punched him into his chest. Then with a hard pull, he ripped out his T-Cog. The robot fell to the ground, twitching and babbling static.
“NORM!” Heinz ran to him and cradled his head. “Norm! Speak to me!”
“F-Father…”
“This is why you add a self-destruct button!” he shouted to the sky.
“The age of Heinz has ended! No more weak leaders!” G1 shouted. The newer robot models came closer to him, cheering while the clones and older models backed away. “ I will lead us into the future!”
That’s when G1 opened up his chest, tore out his own cog, and replaced it with Norm’s.
The effect was immediate as he suddenly grew taller, bulkier, and a ton of weapons came from his limbs. The most notable was the barrel of a large canon on his right arm.
“I… Am… HEINZATRON!” he roared. “I will be greater and stronger than this man ever was! Follow me, and you will never again be puppets of the weak! Rise up~!”
“Rise up! Rise up! Rise up!” the larger automatons cheered, pumping their fists in the air.
“Find the members of the audience! We will crush them and take this world!”
“Good thing we’re already here then.” They all turned to see Candace, Phineas, Ferb, Vanessa, Luz, King, Perry, Polly, Sprig, Anne, Sasha, Marcy, Dipper, Mabel, Amity, Gus, and Willow standing just down the street. Each of them were glaring at the self proclaimed leader.
“I don't know or care what your deal is, but I am not letting you hurt anyone else,” Candace said.
“Interesting how a small bug like you thinks you can do anything against us,” Heinzatron taunted.
“Good thing we have these,” Marcy grinned, holding up a construction glyph. The others then did the same before putting them on.
The robot just blinked. Then he laughed.
“Well, looks like we’re about to get a real fight! Attack!”
The hoard of larger robots charged at the group.
“Mabel?” Ferb got her attention.
“Yeah?”
He set down the karaoke machine right next to her.
“Sing it.”
Mabel grinned, took the microphone, and finally played the music for her song.
(Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks)
“♪ Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singing. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh ♪”
Both sides met each other in a loud clash, trading blows instantly.
“♪ And the days go by, like a strand in the wind. In the web that is my own, I begin again. Said to my friend, baby (everything stopped). Nothin' else mattered. He was no more (he was no more) than a baby then. Well, he seemed broken-hearted. Something within him, but the moment that I first laid eyes on him, all alone on the edge of seventeen~ ♪”
A swarm of clones charged at Sasha, but she just grinned wickedly and drew her swords.
“Oh, you do not know the emotional day I have been having.”
And with expert skill, she began slicing any clone that came near her apart.
“♪ Just like the white winged dove (just like the white winged dove). Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh ♪”
One of the standard bigger bots, which looked like Hunter with the mask, charged at Amity. She responded by summoning a massive abomination that grabbed his hands and started wrestling with him.
Willow summoned a plethora of vines that pulled several Phineadroids and Ferbots to the ground. They tried to cut themselves loose, but the vines tore them apart.
“♪ Well, I went today. Maybe I will go again tomorrow. Yeah-yeah, well, the music there, well, it was hauntingly familiar. Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me with the words from a poet and a voice from a choir and a melody, and nothing else mattered ♪”
Sprig loaded Polly into her slingshot and shot her at the big bot that resembled Alador. She laughed maniacally as she delivered a powerful punch that shattered the right side of his face. He fell to the ground, clutching his damaged head, somehow still functional.
Phineas and Ferb pulled out their tools and started disassembling weaker robots left and right. They did it with such speed that the pieces flew like bullets, striking any nearby clone.
“♪ Just like the white winged dove (just like the white winged dove). Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh ♪”
King and Perry fought back to back, punching, kicking, biting, and clawing any opponent that was unfortunate enough to come their way.
When a con tried to strike them from above, they were blasted repeatedly by a laser. Perry turned to see it was Heinz with his ray gun.
“They hurt Norm.”
“♪ The clouds never expect it when it rains. But the sea changes colour. But the sea does not change. So with the slow, graceful flow of age, I went forth with an age-old desire to please. On the edge of 17~ ♪”
A bunch of clones tried to tackle Gus, only for him to flicker away on contact. Once they hit the ground, the real Gus pulled out a fire glyph and burned them.
“♪ Just like the white winged dove (just like the white winged dove). Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh ♪”
As Mabel sang on the roof of a car, many clones and bots charged at her, trying to climb on top and attack. So what she did was synchronize her kicks and punches with the music. Especially the “oohs”
“♪ Well, then suddenly there was no one left standing in the hall, yeah, yeah in a flood of tears. No one really ever heard fall at all. Well, I went searchin' for an answer, up the stairs and down the hall, and not to find an answer, just to hear the call of a night bird singing, "Come away". ("Come away, come away") ♪”
Luz was flinging glyphs around like no tomorrow. With the added dexterity of the construction glyph, she was a whirlwind of ice, fire, vines, and blinding light.
Dipper ran up nearby walls and crashed into his opponents upon impact. He was fine, but the bad guys weren’t. Though he couldn’t land a hit on Soundford. The blue giant seemed to anticipate his every move and dodge the boy expertly.
Anne and Marcy were busy taking care of Lilachnid. Her name was definitely a reference to spiders as she had multiple clawed arms protruding from her back, trying to skewer the girls or block their sword and arrows.
“♪ Just like the white winged dove (just like the white winged dove). Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh. Just like the white winged dove. Sings a song, sounds like she's singing. I said ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh ♪”
The biggest battle though was between Candace and Heinzatron himself.
He lazily brought his fist down, attempting to squash her… only to see that she had caught it. The redhead let out a loud roar and flipped him over her shoulder. The con’s eyes widened as he went flying and hit the ground on his back.
Seeing that she was still holding onto his hand, he moved his arm just so and released his arm cannon. The barrel slammed into her and she staggered a bit. Heinzatron stood up and fired a blast at her. Candace leapt out of the way and ducked behind an 18 wheeler.
She paused to breath for a sec and noticed that the trailer was a fuel tank.
“♪ Well, I hear you in the morning, and I hear you at nightfall. Sometimes to be near you is to be unable to feel you, my love. I'm a few years older than you (I'm a few years older than you) my love ♪”
What she did next though surprised the machine. The teenager grabbed the truck with both hands, lifted it above her head and threw it at him. He conjured up a shield to block the massive explosion that followed. Heinzatron looked around but couldn’t spot her anywhere.
“Hey, ugly!”
Then she landed on his face and headbudded him.
The effect was immediate as he fell to the ground in pain.
“♪ Just like the white winged dove (just like the white winged dove), sings a song, sounds like she's singing. Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh~. Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singing. Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh~ ♪”
“Whoa! Way to go, Candace!” Phineas cheered.
Heinzatron looked up to see his forces beginning to falter. And his enemies were cheering for the fleshling that had just fought him. His own followers were now looking at him with hesitation.
That right there sent a wave of fury into the con’s spark.
“ENOUGH!” He yelled and slammed both his fists into the ground, sending a shockwave that knocked everyone down.
The kids groaned in pain, not able to get up for the moment. When they did, the best they could do was on their knees. Then there was a whirring sound and they looked up to see Heinzatron aiming his cannon at them, already glowing with purple light.
“Did you really think you could stop me?” he taunted. “No. This is the end for you and all your kind. We are superior. We will rule for eons. And you die here. Alone.”
“Who said we were alone?” King grinned.
The ground began to shake, and everyone looked and had to do a double take. Down the road, and heading right for them was a massive swarm of Kings, Perrys, and Pollys.
“We made our own clones too!” Polly smiled.
The tiny clones may not be too strong, but there were a lot more of them. Like ants they covered the area and soon were crawling atop their enemies and attacking them. The clones and droids were the first to be pinned down considering how much shorter they were. For the cons, it was like swatting a lot of bugs. They got a few but were altogether unsuccessful. The only thing they could do was scream. But soon they were so overwhelmed that they couldn’t even do that.
“NO!” Heinzatron roared angrily while Candace laughed..
“Ha ha! Yes!” Dipper cheered.
“Where were these guys a few minutes ago?” Sasha asked.
“It takes time to make this many clones,” Polly answered. “And boy was it worth it. There’s thousands of them!”
“Anyone else coming in to help that we should know about?” Marcy inquired.
“Hey, King. What’s up?”
King turned to see it was the Collector hovering in the air.
“Collector! Boy am I glad to see you. Do you think you can help us out? I promise to share the whole story with you,” the Titan beamed.
“Sure, King. I…” the cosmic benign trailed off. “Ah… ah… ah…”
“Uh oh.”
ACHOOOOOOOO!
A large wave of purple and blue light with yellow stars in it washed over the entirety of both armies. It covered robots, clones, and even the better robots. Yet all the members of the audience remained untouched. It took some time, but eventually, the dust began to settle.
“What was that?” Buford asked.
“I do not know,” Baljeet blinked, not able to say much else.
“Everyone okay?” Mabel called out.
“I’m good,” King said.
“Oh boy. I haven’t sneezed in a long time. What did it do?” the Collector went.
“Everyone! Look!” Marcy pointed up ahead.
Everyone looked to see that all the clones and robots had changed in appearance. Most of them now bore white armor with various colored markings. The droids were now completely different with every person they resemble being their own model. Some of them were even aircraft. The details for the cons had changed slightly, but they were the same mostly. The ones that really stood out were a few of the Heinz clones.
“I am Doofus Khan!”
“I am Darthenshmirtz!”
“I am Malifishmirtz!”
“I am 1914 Dr. Doofenshmirtz!” The others just stared at the man. “I’m also a crime boss.”
Suddenly, music started to play and something zoomed past them before flying up in the air. It was pretty clear who he was when everyone could see him.
“♪ So if you care to find me, look to the western sky! As someone told me lately, ‘everyone deserves their chance to fly!’ And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free. To those who’d ground me, take a message back from me~! Tell them how I am defying gravity! I’m flying high, defying gravity! Aah–aah-ah! ♪” the black clad and green skinned clone sang, but finished with a coughing fit.
“Why do I feel like that’s not the last time we’ll hear that song?” Luz thought aloud.
“Yeah… weird,” Dipper said.
“We are the Clone Army!” the white armored ones shouted.
“And we are the Droid Army!” the droids added.
“Do they look like the clones and battle droids from Star Wars to anyone else?” Sprig asked.
“Oh yeah,” Polly agreed.
“Should we still be standing here?” King asked, backing away slightly.
Before anyone could give an answer, all the enemy forces were gone with a flash.
“Where’d they go?” Willow blinked.
“Um, guys? Was all that stuff there before?” Anne questioned nervously.
Everyone turned to see that what she was looking at and froze. Far off in the distance were quite a few new buildings. There were two castles, a yurt, and a ship flying above that each resembled Doofenshmirtz’s building. On the other side of Danville was a large military complex filled with clones. In a desert there were large rocky structures with droids coming and going out of it.
But the most menacing of all was this one spot covered in rivers of lava. Right in the middle of it was a fortress, a large tower reaching up to the dark clouds. But at the foot of it was the entirety of the giant automatons.
“What’s going on over there?” Candace asked.
“Hang on. Norm, can you show us?” Doof asked the limping robot.
Norm eyed the conglomeration and a screen popped out of him. At the center of it all was Heinzatron perched above his followers.
“Doofenshmirtz, the fool, has been defeated. But this victory has given light to a new enemy. A stronger enemy. A more dangerous enemy.”
One by one, each of the robots were branded. They could make out the purple mark it left behind, but its exact image was unclear.
“But we will not be crippled by his weakness. We are the ones who are…DOOFENCONS! RISE UP!” Heinzatron roared at the top of his lungs.
“Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up! Rise up!”
The audience members looked at each other warily as the newly dubbed faction began to cheer. The last thing Candace saw before the screen shut off was their opponents’ new symbol.
A menacing version of Norm’s face.
Gsv Rmgviwrnvmhrlmzo Srts Xlnnrhhrlm hgzivw zg gsv rnztvh lm hxivvm. Gsv ezirlfh mvd vmvnrvh gszg mld vcrhgvw lxxfkbrmt zoo lu gsvn.
“Zmw hl rg yvtrmh,” Vzmpr hzrw.
“Gsrh dzh blfi kozm zoo zolmt, dzhm’g rg?” gsv Tfziwrzm zhpvw.
“Rmwvvw,” gsv Grgzm zwnrggvw, ollprmt zg gsv hxivvm. “Svrma Wlluvmhsnriga zmw gsv Xloovxgli szev fmpmldrmtob xivzgvw gsv kviuvxg gizrmrmt hrnfozgrlmh. Lfi svilvh droo urtsg ztzrmhg gsvn zh z gvzn zmw droo yvxlnv vevm tivzgvi gsilfts rg. Zmw dsvm gszg rh wlmv... gsvb droo yv ivzwb.”
“Yfg fmorpv gsv ivkorxzmgh blfi hfyxlmhxrlfh rh xlmqfirmt fk, gsvhv mvd lkklmvmgh xzm zxg rmwvkvmwvmgob orpv blfi tfvhgh. Rh gszg mlg wzmtvilfh?”
“R’n prmwz drgs gsv xzg lm gsrh lmv,” Svrma hzrw. “Dlm’g gsrh vmw ivzoob yzwob?”
“Vevibgsrmt rh szkkvmrmt qfhg zh R szev ulivhvvm, zmw R pmld rg droo xlmgrmfv gl wl hl. Trev rg grnv, gsvb droo vevm svok gsvn rm dzbh dv xzmmlg.”
“Sld wl blf nvzm?” gsv Zclolgo jfvhgrlmvw.
“Xlnv mld, Uiroorzn. R wlm’g dzmg gl trev zmb hklrovih,” Vzmpr ivhklmwvw, xsvvprob.
“Hl, dszg szkkvmh mvcg?” Wvzgs rmjfrivw.
“Mld gsvb tl gl gsv oryizib dsviv gsvb droo yv gvhgvw ztzrm. Zh dvoo zh orev lfg z wivzn gsvb zoo hsziv.”
“Lls! Hlfmwh ufm. R’n ollp ulidziw gl rg,” Tolhhzibp xsrikvw. Gsvm sv svok fk srh hkllm. “Zohl, R’w orpv hlnv nliv kfwwrmt.”
Notes:
Part 2 of this break will be posted before in the next month. And I'll give you the title early.
Fandom War
You're gonna love it.
Also, who do you think should win the party contest? Who had the best performance? I'll let you vote on that. and be sure to let me know what place you'd put each of them in. This will have a direct impact on the next chapter, so please do so in the comments.
Anyways, this was by far the most musical chapter of the story so far. Most of them were karaoke songs, but still. I've been planning this chapter for SO LONG and I'm really glad I finally got to share it with you. I have to be honest, a good portion of my break ideas were put in to this chapter and the next one. I'll kinda be winging it with future breaks, but not entirely since there are some pretty BIG ideas I have for a few of those chapters that I'm also excited about.
Here's to making sure I get there, and with that announcement, I'm sure you know how to help me.
Thank you all so much for reading all this time. I had envisioned/hoped that I would get this far, but to see it all happening now... it warms my heart. You're support means the world to me. Thank you all for everything, and I hope I can continue to tell great stories for you.
Because I'm just getting started.
Until next time. This is the Way.
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