Chapter Text
Balinor has always been loyal to Camelot, from the day she was built up from the very rocks and trees and valleys that she now stands on. He’s rejoiced in her triumph and in the triumph of her King, his friend Uther. He has bled and waged war for her; has wept for her fallen soldiers and tended her soil. Balinor has lived and loved and moved within her walls for so many years that the idea of him ever having had a home outside of her seems foreign and out of place. Camelot is his home; it is the place that he will always return to. The place he met his wife, the place his son was born.
From his position in the palace he has overseen the birthing of a new generation of dragons, friends whose wisdom will one day help to bring Camelot to further prosperity and happiness. His own companion Ruby, a great burnished auburn specimen with a protective streak, has already begun counseling the court. It seems to Balinor that the Golden Age of Camelot is upon them. That soon man and dragon shall be equal and magic will help the land and her people flourish.
Balinor holds this belief firmly until the day the Queen Ygraine is killed by the sorceress Nimueh.
It seems that everything changes overnight. Balinor goes to sleep in the rooms set aside in the palace for his family, arms holding Hunith from behind and his four year old son across the room in his own bed. They are peaceful and happy and in his sleep Merlin makes shadows dance.
In the morning they are awoken by Gaius pounding on their door and urging them to flee. Gaius is Hunith’s brother and Balinor’s dearest friend but he cannot imagine abandoning their home, surely things are not as bad as Gaius has been lead to believe. He makes his way quickly to the king’s chambers, knowing that if anyone can set things straight it will be his friend, his king, and though he knows Uther has been in mourning these past few weeks he is certain that he would not want his subjects to panic in such a way.
He knocks on the door, ignoring the stares of the knights to each side and is beckoned in almost immediately. He is shocked to see Uther and his advisors standing around a small table for two reasons. Firstly, if there was a meeting called Balinor should have been informed and secondly, because Aredian is among the men at the King’s side.
It is no secret that Aredian and Balinor share a seething hatred of one another. The whole kingdom is fraught with rumors as to what could raise the ire of Camelot’s kind Dragonlord. Balinor has heard them all. Some say Aredian had an affair with his wife, others maintain that Aredian’s dislike of magic is reason enough; even more believe that they war for the ear and affections of their king. No one has guessed the real reason. After all, who in their right mind would perceive Merlin as a threat?
“Balinor, I did not call for you” Uther says in a dismissive tone.
“With all due respect sire, I am Camelot’s Dragonlord and First Knight, if you have called a meeting of your advisors I should be in attendance.”
“You dare to question my judgment?” Uther’s voice is hard and smooth. Nothing like the jovial and welcoming embrace it usually is. Even with the death of Ygraine and the mourning he knows Uther is going through, Balinor is shocked to hear the tone directed at him.
“Of course not” Balinor frowns, “I only mean that it is my honor to serve you sire and Camelot but I feel that I could not do so effectively if not called to council.”
“You were not called because you were not needed” Aredian sneers and it is when Uther does not reprimand him for speaking out of turn that Balinor understands how long Aredian has had to whisper his despicable opinions in the king’s ear. While Balinor had been waiting to be called, wanting to give Uther and his son time to mourn, Aredian had been murmuring his poison to a heartbroken and waiting audience. Uther needed someone besides himself to blame for the death of his wife, Aredian saw his chance.
“My Lord” Balinor steps further into the room, “May I ask what all of this is about? Your kingdom is in an uproar your people are scared and panic stricken. I would beg you to talk to them, assuage their fears.”
“No one but the guilty has anything to fear” Uther says with a confidence that scares him.
There’s a sudden breeze from the open window to his right and Balinor can smell soot and ash in the air. He turns his head and what he sees strikes fear in his heart. A great cloud of smoke is rising from the direction of the hatchery.
“Pardon me my lord, but guilty of what?” Balinor’s pulse is thudding in his ears as he turns back to his king.
“Sorcery and magic will not be tolerated any longer.”
“Sire…you…magic is part of our lives here, it is what strengthens our kingdom, you cannot banish…”
“I am what strengthens our kingdom!” Uther seethes.
“Uther be reasonable…”
“Do not assume to tell me what is reasonable in my own kingdom Balinor. You have a choice to make this day.”
“…a choice?”
“Yes,” Uther says as he strides around the table to stand in front of Balinor. “Today you take a side, and once this decision is made there is no turning back.”
“But sire, he has already performed magic!” Aredian objects.
“Silence!” Uther demands, looking to Balinor, he’s eyes softening slightly, “Balinor, old friend. You have always been loyal, always an asset in the fight to make Camelot great. Now I must ask you to sacrifice even more.” He puts a hand on Balinor’s shoulder and for a moment he looks more like his old friend again, more like the sovereign he has always followed. “Today I will make a decree that the use of magic is prohibited. I will not change my mind on this, but I will allow those who have been known to practice sorcery in the past a chance, just one chance, to renounce magic and to never use it again. Those who agree to those terms will not be prosecuted.”
Balinor feels sick, nauseous and shocked because his friend, his king, would never ask something like this of him. His king would understand that magic is not something one chooses, but something you are born with. It is not a toy to be played with and put away at will. Magic is him, he is magic and if it is that way for him, than he cannot imagine what it will be like for Merlin.
His son has been moving objects and enchanting his toys since before he could talk. His son, though he has not told Uther so, is prophesized to be the greatest sorcerer Albion has ever seen. Wise and strong and he will help Camelot to fulfill her destiny. Who is Balinor or even Uther to take that away from him?
“And what is the punishment for these crimes?” Balinor growls
“The only punishment fitting for those who betray our kingdom”
Balinor nods because he understands and slowly he shifts Uther’s hand from his shoulder.
“You have been loyal my friend and have saved my life many times.” Uther frowns, “For this I will give you and your family a head start.”
“You are making a mistake, sire” he sighs.
“I am king and what I decree is law. I would move quickly if I were you.”
Balinor bows, but finds any respect the gesture used to hold is now gone.
--
It has been three weeks since they left the castle, that time has been spent running and hiding and in their spare time mourning the hatchlings and other magic users who had no time to escape. Balinor knows that some of the dragons survived, and he has to believe that if Ruby had been killed that he would have felt something. What hurts the most though is the silence; he cannot hear any of his kin not even the smallest whisper. It makes sense for them to hide, to look for peace in some far off country where they do not have to fear their children being slain. He only wishes he could hear them; that he could know for certain they are out there.
It is night and they had stopped to make camp a few hours earlier. Hunith and Merlin sleep by the fire and though Merlin does not fully understand what is happening, the shadows no longer dance.
The last weeks had been hard on all of them, Gaius had stayed behind. He could not bare the thought of deserting their king and had maintained that someone would need to be there for him when he realized the mistakes he’d made. Someone had to be there to help him fix it. Until then he would stay quiet and use his knowledge only to help heal the injured and sick in his role as Court Physician. Though Balinor disagreed, he could not deny understanding the hope the older man carried.
Hunith had wept when she left her brother behind but had since come to understand the need for them to leave. Though she had no magic herself she would never risk Balinor or Merlin’s safety. She cares deeper than any mother or wife Balinor has ever met, and she would do whatever it takes to see her family in one piece. Though Ygraine had been her dear friend, Hunith could never agree with the actions being taken in her memory, and she told Balinor more than once that the queen would have been ashamed of her husband. But for herself she held nothing but pity for him. It was times like these that Balinor could understand what loss could drive a man to take such rash action. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost Hunith. It didn’t bare thinking about.
Merlin however had been perhaps a little difficult. He had never known another home, never lived outside the palace walls or stolen away from the city for a weekend in the country. They had always planned on taking him to Ealdor where Hunith and Gaius had grown up before coming to court but as Merlin’s powers developed they found all their time being taken up by teaching Merlin how to respect and understand his magic. There was no time for family getaways.
Now that they had left the castle Merlin couldn’t help but ask question after question. “Why did we have to leave?” he’d say in his small voice, “Because the king was angry, darling” Hunith would answer. “Why is king angry?” he would ask, “Because he misses his wife.” Hunith would say. Balinor remembers a few months ago when Merlin started forming sentences and how proud they were of him. Now he feels guilty for missing the days of one word requests.
“Is Arfur angry?” Merlin lisped that night before Hunith had laid him down to sleep and Balinor had sighed, because of course his son would be thinking of his friend. Of course this whole ordeal was affecting him in a way that he had not even thought about, too wrapped up in betrayal and escape and worry for his family.
“No Merlin,” Balinor said placing his son in his lap, “Of course not, you two are best friend’s right?” Merlin nodded though it looked as if he was close to tears. “Well you know what that means don’t you?” Merlin’s big blue eyes looked up at him, “it means that Arthur will always love you. No matter how far away you are or how long you are parted, you will always love one another. That is what best friend means.”
Merlin had nodded seeming to understand, but at four years old Balinor thought love was probably a difficult concept to fully comprehend. Hunith had laid him down to sleep after that and joined him soon after, tired from another day of hiking through the forest.
It was not a secret between him and his wife that there was every chance that they were going to be caught. They had no horses and nowhere to go that Uther did not know about. Aredian was more than likely on their trail wanting both Balinor and Merlin disposed of and though Balinor hated him, he could acknowledge his skill as a tracker. It was a matter of time, the only hope he had was to reach the dragons before the royal guard reached them.
He had no idea how far the dragons had flown or if any stayed within calling distance of the kingdom at all. All Balinor had was faith that Ruby would not have let her brood stray too far from him, that she would feel his loss as acutely as he felt hers and be unable to give up hope. It was Ruby who had told him of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah’s prophecy, the prophecy that had been handed down to her by the wisest and eldest of all dragons, the prophecy that named Merlin Emrys as the most powerful sorcerer to have ever walked upon the earth. Surely the fate of such a boy would not go unnoticed.
--
It was two days later when Aredian caught up to them. They had camped out near a rocky outcrop overlooking a river, not strategic for escape in the least, but they had been tired and Merlin had been fussy. They had stopped, started a small fire and cooked a small package of porridge over the flame. They were just settling in for the night when they heard the whispering.
The funny thing about whispering, Balinor had always thought, is how it seemed to carry so much further than regular conversation.
He jumped to his feet immediately grabbing his sword from the ground. Beside him Hunith gathered Merlin to her, telling him to stay quiet.
The knights entered the clearing from the trees at an easy pace, Aredian leading from the center.
“Balinor, Dragonlord of Camelot!” Aredian smiles
“I think you have mistaken me” Balinor says, though it sounds weak even to him.
“You are he,” Aredian says flippantly, before speaking loudly for the entire party of soldiers to hear. “Balinor, Dragonlord of Camelot, you and your family have been found guilty of sorcery by King Uther Pendragon,” he pauses, “a crime that carries the punishment of death.”
“You know the king acts rashly!” Balinor argues, not so much to Aredian but to the men who surround him, those that at one time were his men.
“Who are you to question the king’s judgment?!” Aredian rails, “You who has fled as indication of your very guilt”
“We are not guilty of anything but living as we always have” Balinor sees Hunith clutch Merlin tighter to her chest as he begins to squirm and prays that there is a way out of this, that this is not the end of his family.
“You are guilty of sorcery and conspiring against the crown, either one carries the same sentence.” The knight grins, “We are here to carry out that sentence.”
Aredian unsheathes his sword and it glints menacingly in the firelight. Balinor turns to his wife, bringing her in for a tight hug that encompasses their son. When he leans back to look at her, her eyes are wide and shinning with tears. “No, no please don’t do this…” she begs, and all Balinor can do is lean down to kiss her hoping that he is showing her even a speck of the love and faith that she inspires in him.
Balinor had never dreamed of being this lucky, to have a woman he loved unconditionally and a child made from that love. So as he turns from her he does not regret a thing he has done or anything he will do. It has all been for them.
“Are you ready to meet your fate?” Aredian asks with ill-hidden glee.
Balinor smirks before looking up at the sky and spreading his arms wide “Dragoon!” he calls and as he begins to speak in the ancient tongue of his fathers, he can feel himself link with a magic the likes of which Aredian and these men will never understand. The link is bright and golden and leaves Balinor feeling at peace even as he hears Aredian yelling and the men around him scampering about.
The dragon hears him, this much he knows, though he does not recognize the beast itself. It hears the call of a lord and that is enough. Balinor latches on and he asks for help. Not for himself but for a woman and the boy who will be the last Dragonlord. The words flow from his mouth even as the soldiers around him begin to raise their voices in panic. He does not falter until he feels a sharp piercing pain in his chest.
He feels suddenly weak and shaky and in the background he can hear Hunith’s anguished scream. When he looks down he is not surprised to see the arrow protruding from his chest. Merlin cries out for him as he slumps to the ground and still all he can do is hope and pray that the dragon was close enough to intercede.
“Get the woman and the boy!” he hears Aredian call and in his foggy mind he tries to reach out, tries to call for what little magic he has left, but his sense are dull and he can find nothing lingering inside of him that will help. There is a shuffle to his side and Hunith calls out for Merlin just before his son comes to his side, kneeling over him.
“Papa” he says quietly hugging him with his small arms, searching for that comfort Balinor knows he will no longer be able to provide.
“Run” Balinor whispers to him, “Run my son…” but he understands that Merlin cannot. That he has been taken from everything he has ever known and it is unfair to ask him to leave the only thing he has left, but still he tries. “You must go…”
“No!” he cries and when he lifts his small hands Balinor can see them covered in his own blood. He’s too young, he thinks, to have so much on his shoulders, to have to watch his father die.
Suddenly Hunith howls and Balinor turns his head just in time to see her slump heavily to the ground at Aredian’s feet. “No…no” Balinor whispers as he watches the life leave his wife’s wide eyes from the ground across from him. He coughs because his lungs feel heavy and his breathing is coming in short staccato bursts.
“Mummy” Merlin whispers as he sits on the ground between them and Balinor is just able to make out the tears flowing from his wide unblinking eyes.
“Merlin…” he rasps, “please…run…” his vision is cloudy, black seeping in around the edges as the pressure on his chest increases. He wants to scream and rail against the events that are unfolding. His wife is gone, his child is about to be killed and he can’t move. He needs to get Merlin away, that’s all he can think about. He can’t let him die here with them. His destiny is much greater than this. He is so much more.
Inside him he feels something begin to rumble like a silent roar filling his chest and with it comes a spark of magic that just moments ago was lost to him. It takes all of his remaining strength but her reaches out towards Merlin, spreading his fingers and drawing his boy’s attention.
“I love you…” he whispers and then Merlin is gone the wind picking him up and pushing him, safely Balinor can only hope, over the rocky ledge and into the river.