Chapter 1: void
Chapter Text
"You are no longer needed here."
"...what?"
"We have made a decision. Having you around would simply...get in the way of it."
"But...I don't even know who you are, just let me--"
"You should be grateful, hound. We're letting your story end. None of the others have even gotten this chance."
"But I don't want to--"
"Oh, hound...you don't have a choice."
"..."
"We'll be sure to send Martyn our regards for you."
The universe shifts, and he can feel a scream tear through his throat.
He's falling, falling, falling--
They're all long gone by now. He can't--where is--
Something--someone else is here again. Did they change their minds?
They don't speak. They simply place a hand on his shoulder.
The universe s t u t t e r s --
He isn't falling anymore. The air is crushing him beneath its weight.
Gravity exists again, and it feels like it's about to kill him.
Heavy footsteps quickly approaching. Breathing.
"REN!"
He forces his arms to work, to pull himself up just enough to see their face. He's not even sure how he manages it. Some kind of miracle feat of adrenaline?
Helmet. Red all over. It's all he can get before the stranger is basically on top of him.
"Oh my--HOW DID YOU GET OUT!?"
They sound...they sound...
His brain isn't working. Nothing is.
But he doesn't know this person. They shouldn't know him.
"...who..."
The question doesn't seem to phase them. They put their hands under his shoulders, lifting him up. He's too tired to fight them on it.
"Okay, we need to get you on the ship. Now."
He's not focusing on anything he's saying. Something ebbs in the back of his brain, calling out, he needs to remember--
There's a name.
He needs him, they're going to, he needs to keep him safe--
"...Martyn..."
They try to respond to him, but he's too far gone to hear it.
Reality vanishes, and so does his consciousness.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The first thing he registers when he wakes up is the sound of a heartbeat monitor.
He can then hear someone get up from their chair, walk over--
"Ren? Are you in there?"
He tries turning his head. It's much easier than it was last time, and he comes face to face with--
Xisuma.
...he's not sure when he started screaming, and he's not sure if he remembers how to stop.
"Ren!"
He didn't he didn't he didn't, he can't breathe he can't breathe he can't breathe--
"Ren, you need to breathe! If you don’t, you're going to pass out again!"
There's another voice now, the one that probably dragged him here.
Someone starts counting with their fingers, and maybe he starts following it. He's not sure. Things are pretty hard to follow right now.
"Is the finger thing working?"
"I don't know, I'm trying--"
He manages to find the energy to nod. He doesn't miss how X starts tensing up a little less.
"Would you look at that. Another one of your good ideas!"
He snorts at that. He's not even sure why.
"...do you know who I am right now?"
He does. Fuck, he does.
Why didn't he know them before? EX, Cub, False. They've been his friends for years. And X--
Oh. Oh void, Doc.
His breath catches in his throat. He's going to be so upset at him for what he did.
It worked, right? It worked? Or what if they just haven't pulled him into one yet, what if it was all for nothing--
He can see the door behind them break off of its hinges, he can see someone burst through--
The next thing he knows, he's burying his head in Doc's actually comfortable shoulder.
"Doc. Please ask before kicking down doors. I do not have the time to repair this right now."
"X. Please. Shut up."
He very much agrees with Doc on that. Fixing doors is a later problem. This is better, cause it's comfy.
"Hey, Ren? You good to answer some stuff?"
X's voice again. He considers it for a moment.
He still feels pretty bad, but...no. He needs to tell them everything. He can't be wasting time right now.
"Mhm...good."
He quickly realizes that it's the first time he's spoken out loud since waking up. He's not sure how to feel about that.
"How did you get away from them?"
"I..."
He tries his best to recall their conversation. The seething annoyance, the talk of having him come to an end...
...fuck. That was the plan, wasn't it? To have him meet the end.
So why was he thrown somewhere they didn't intend for him to be?
"...I didn't escape. They tried to throw me into the Deep Void. And..."
Yeah. He doesn't need to explain why that's a problem. He can feel Doc's hold on him get tighter almost immediately.
"…you’re telling me I saved your life?"
Right. EX. Void, he definitely needs to thank him later.
He nods.
"Yeah. I guess you did."
He can't help but catch onto the resulting silence from her afterwards. He just tries not to draw too much attention to it.
"You said a name. Why?"
"It...he's part of why they threw me out. They're trying to hurt him, and..."
The admin beside him says nothing in response. He seems to have noticed what he did, because when he looks back at them he's clearly squeezing EX's hand.
"...what do I do?"
"You don't do anything. You need to rest, Ren. You've had a stressful few weeks."
...weeks?
"That...that's not right. It wasn't weeks. It was...way longer than that."
He can feel Doc's metal arm tap against his back as he speaks.
"It was. If they were holding you somewhere, it stands to reason that they could edit the length of the days on their server to fuck with your perception of time."
He has a point. It's hard to accept, but he has a point.
He's not sure how the others would react to that info. Or is he the strange one for not being relieved by it?
It's weird. Everything is weird.
Some part of his brain just wants to go home.
But that doesn't make sense. He is home.
...why can't he just believe that?
A day later, Xisuma finally takes him off of forced bedrest.
He's been told that everything will be sore for the next while (and yup, they weren't kidding), but hey. At least he can start to piece together more of the current situation over here.
Well, he already attempted to today. But Doccy running up to someone with a deck of cards is sure to ruin anyone's plans.
Thankfully for his sanity though, Doc managed to find and drag them away within the first hour. Great.
Now he just has to figure out what to do with all the energy he has remaining.
It’s the sounds of controlled explosions that end up making the decision for him. Whoever's creating them...probably needs it.
He opens the door to the room, and--
Huh. It's Cub.
"THE CALCULATIONS SHOULD BE CORRECT--oh. Hey Ren."
Nevermind. It's not Cub.
"Hey Vex. What are you doing?"
He watches as he stretches out his mansion's arms, seemingly unsatisfied with the completely incomprehensible experiments on his desk.
"The idiot overworked the body. Now it's my turn."
"That...doesn't seem healthy."
"Not supposed to be."
He takes a seat next to him, while still trying to remain away from the danger zone of anything flammable. Knowing Cub's Vex...that won't end well.
"So...what even are you doing?"
"Basic controlled explosions."
"...and why are you doing basic controlled explosions?"
"I had the ingredients. It worked out."
"Still. Why."
He can tell the answer is bullshit. There's always a method behind both of their madnesses.
"Hmm...do you really want to know what Cub was doing?"
"...yes? Obviously?"
"So...you know how Cub and Scar are close. Me and Scar's Vex are as well."
He nods. It's simple information, things he could get even if he only knew them for a second. And he's known them for way longer than that.
"Yeah?"
"Well...when me and it first met, we gave ourselves a bit of a magic link. A way to communicate for if we ever had to be apart for long periods of time. Cub keeps trying to enhance that link. Seeing if he can reach Scar, wherever you were before."
Yup. Sounds like Cub. Always the mad scientist, even to his own detriment. Even during times when nothing is wrong, where his own curiosity drives him to insanity all on its own.
And now that he actually has a reason to put his own health in danger...
That's bad. That's really, really bad.
"Guessing you can tell it...didn't exactly end well."
He can. The eye color change from brown to electric blue is distracting, but it's easy to see the eyebags underneath, as long as he pays enough attention to the details.
"...are you okay?"
"I'm getting him to sleep after this. Good to know you're alive though."
"Yeah. That's...probably good."
He waits in silence as the Vex pulls out a post-it note from one of the shelves in Cub's desk, being sure to write with one of the boldest markers possible.
SLEEP
"Hey. At least he won't be able to miss that!"
"He won't miss it. He'll just ignore it."
"True. Either way...it is nice to be talking to you again."
"Absolutely. It's...nice to have you home."
He's kicked out shortly afterwards. Cub's body still needs sleep, after all.
He hopes he'll be able to find some peace in his dreams.
He wakes up from a nap to the sound of knocking on his door.
"Mmm...come in..."
"Wow, thanks Ren! I'm feeling so welcomed right now!"
"...shut it."
"Nope! The Keralis train is riding straight into the station! Beep, beep!"
Thankfully, he remembers to look away before Keralis begins attempting to slide under his door. A small mercy, compared to everything else that's happened recently.
"Soooo! How you coping, Ren?"
"...let me guess. The right answer is to say 'not at all'?"
"Exactly! You need healing! And your good ol' buddy Keralis is here to deliver some!"
He can't stop himself from laughing, even if he wants to be straight faced just to spite him. Void, he's such an idiot.
"...seriously. I'm guessing it wasn't fun."
"Yeah. It wasn't."
It feels weird, putting it in the past tense. To think about the fact that it isn't happening anymore. Because it was, wasn't it? It almost feels like it was yesterday.
But it wasn't yesterday. Cub was yesterday.
...yeah. People really need to stop making good points about things.
"...I keep feeling like I'm still there."
He pats the spot on the bed next to him, waiting for his friend to sit down. After a moment of deliberation, he does.
"Yeah...that's understandable, Ren. I've felt it too."
Oh. He wasn't even thinking about that, but...
Guess he does understand, huh? Void, why is a sentient puddle given shape trying to be his therapist right now...
"...how do you get it to stop?"
He can hear Keralis humming at his side, offering a hand for him to take.
He motions for him to put it down. He's not sure if the texture would make him feel better or worse right now.
He really hopes Keralis doesn't feel too upset about that. It's never been his fault.
"Well, it depends. Distraction helps. Especially with your friends!"
"I mean, yeah, I could do that. But what would I even do?"
"Welllll...I heard False needs some help! Maybe you could go to her!"
"Really? With what?"
"I'm not too sure. Just heard that she needed things. But maybe a weird request is just what you need right now, Ren!"
He chuckles to himself. Yeah. Maybe it is.
He pulls himself off of his bed, walking towards the door. Keralis simply waves a goodbye, fingers dripping goo at every movement of his wrist.
"Have fun! Try not to miss eating dinner!"
"...I'll try."
As it turns out, False doesn't actually need anything that absurd. She's just got some heavy stuff that needs carrying.
And like, False is strong. Incredibly strong. So to hear her call something heavy...he's not going to lie. It kind of terrifies him.
"Hahaha, chill! It's not that bad, it's just way more efficient with two people! No matter how much I can lift, I only have so much space within my arms."
Oh. Alright. He can work with that.
He still feels like he's about to pass out the moment he grabs the third box though.
"I went through a death game three times over...I should not be this out of shape..."
He's not sure if False catches him saying that, and honestly? He's not sure whether or not he'd want her to.
"Put some more strength into it, Ren! Lift that box!"
He does. It takes the combined willpower of every single bone in his body, but somehow he does.
He collapses onto the floor, only being stirred by False handing a water bottle over to him.
"Drink. It's break time now."
He ends up consuming the entire thing in under two minutes. She gives him a thumbs up in response.
"You really need to get into shape, dude."
He does his best to hide his panting when he answers.
"I...would normally...call myself...in shape, False..."
Nevermind. His best is not enough. Great.
"Well, then that just means we have to work you back up! No shame in that, Ren."
He stays on the floor for a few minutes longer, getting himself back to a normal pace of breathing.
False extends a hand out to him. He immediately takes it, hoisting himself back up to being able to stand.
"Let's take a break! What do you wanna do, Ren?"
"Umm..."
He attempts to give it some thought. He definitely doesn't want to go back to lifting things. Any type of exercise is completely out of the question after that.
There's always cards, but he'll probably get bored of that fast, and--
"I'm...not sure. Whatever you want, I guess?"
"It's all cool. We can do whatever we want, dude! It's fine if we take our time thinking about it."
He can tell that False is attempting to be passionate right now. That's fine.
She extends her hands out to emphasize some kind of point, bringing one down and towards--
He...he...he's on the floor.
When did he get on the floor? When did he start screaming?
There's something pooling down the back of his neck, and he whines.
A hand axe comes closer.
"Ren? Are you--"
He tries to back away, instantly hitting a wall. Fuck fuck fuck, he needs to go, he needs to run, bolt while he's still reloading so he doesn't end up with an arrow to the head--
"Ren! Ren, it's me!"
The axe doesn't come closer. He allows himself a moment to observe his surroundings.
He's...he can't feel any wind right now. He can feel dripping, but there's nothing on the floor.
There's an axe, but that doesn't make sense because nothing is holding it. And wasn't Scott far more focused on his bow?
No, no. This doesn't make sense. He's...
He tries to ask a question, but all that comes out is a sharp whine.
"Ren, it's okay. You're on the Hermithesus. Everything's okay. You're safe."
A hand reaches out. He grips it tightly, refusing to let go.
"Hey, hey...everything's going to be alright. Just breathe."
"...woof?"
And he's nonverbal right now. Well. That's just great.
He bounces False's hand against his leg unhappily, flicking his ears back and forth. He needs to be able to talk because his communicator isn't on him right now, because if he isn't able to talk False won't know what happened and what if they trigger it again--
"Ren, Ren it's okay. Here."
She hands him her communicator, and--oh. It's on a notes app.
Okay.
dont do that again
"Do what?"
neck
how bad am i bleeding
He can still feel it pooling down. It's a miracle he hasn't passed out by now, False should really be calling for help--
"Ren, you aren't bleeding. That's called phantom pain."
oh
"Yeah, I know. It sucks. Just try to keep your mind off of it."
He pulls himself closer to her, inevitably ending up with his head in her lap.
She strokes her hands through his hair, and he can't stop the low hum that comes through his throat in response.
He can tell that the blur is starting to enter into his mind, he can feel his body turning inside out and--
He wakes up in False's bedroom a few hours later, curled against her side.
Thank every star in the universe for her still being asleep. Things would have been a thousand times more awkward, and he's not very interested in trying to justify every little thing the wolf did to someone right now.
Now he just has to figure out where she stashed his clothes. And his sunglasses.
...he needs to write a thank you note, too.
It's pretty late right now. At least, it probably is. It's hard to tell time in the Void.
All he knows is that his body is desperately begging him to go to sleep.
Unfortunately for it, Gem texts him at about the same time as that realization.
GeminiTay: o/
GeminiTay: ren
GeminiTay: ren
GeminiTay: rennnnn
Renthedog: Gem, I am attempting to sleep.
GeminiTay: but its!!!!
GeminiTay: important!!!!
Renthedog: Alright, alright, fine.
Renthedog: what do you need?
GeminiTay: you know how i kind of
GeminiTay: disappeared yesterday
GeminiTay: and wouldnt leave my room?
Renthedog: Yes?
GeminiTay: i went in
Renthedog: Went in? Where did you go?
GeminiTay: i went in
GeminiTay: to the game
He almost drops his phone.
Renthedog: You what
GeminiTay: it was fine!!!
GeminiTay: i had help sooooo
Renthedog: That doesn't
Renthedog: Gem.
Renthedog: How did you get in.
Renthedog: How did you get out.
Renthedog: And what the hell did you see in there.
GeminiTay: umm
GeminiTay: mix of my own wacky sleep powers
GeminiTay: and some weird stuff that the listeners did
GeminiTay: it wasnt even my body!!! it was cleos!!!!
Renthedog: You
Renthedog: You stole Cleo's body?
GeminiTay: mhm!!! but it was fine!!!
GeminiTay: they said that i helped so much
GeminiTay: ren
GeminiTay: they said
GeminiTay: if they could use me again
GeminiTay: maybe i can fix everything
He doesn't respond to that. She's started delving a bit too deep into the devotion angle for his own personal comfort.
...or maybe he just feels jealous.
No, no, he can't think about that. He'll ask her about him in the morning.
The Listeners...
Are they an opposition to the Watchers? Are they in cahoots with them?
Does X know about this?
He quickly shoots him off a text, just in case.
Renthedog: Hey, umm.
Renthedog: Do you know anything about the weird Listener shit Gem keeps talking about?
And of course, he gets a response not even five seconds later.
Xisumavoid: Yes.
Xisumavoid: They're trying to test their abilities to swap people in undetected, or something.
Xisumavoid: She was clearly safe, so...
He breathes a sigh of relief. Okay. That's good.
Renthedog: Well. Good to know she's not in a cult.
Xisumavoid: Yup. Just stay safe.
Xisumavoid: We'll have the rest of them out before you know it.
He leans his head back against his pillows and puts his communicator to the side.
Well. At least that's one mystery solved.
He pulls a blanket over himself, rolling over to his side.
It's time to get some rest. He's earned it.
"Can you hear us, Ren?"
"Huh...what?"
"Good. You can. We have a proposition for you."
"You...what do you want? Who is this?"
"You know exactly who we are, Ren. You were just having a conversation about this, were you not?"
"...are you actually trying to get them all out? No tricks?"
"No tricks. But of course, such a heavy task does require assistance...and that's where you come in."
"But don't you already have Gem? And besides, I don't think X would appreciate me throwing myself in there again."
"Oh, Ren. your admin doesn't need to know a thing. Besides, he'll understand when you come back with so much more progress than what you had before."
"...no. No deal. I am not throwing myself into a death game again--"
"And leave your loyal hand to suffer in the meantime? We both know that's unlike you, Ren. And we both know why you're the one we're specifically requesting."
"..."
"...consider it, at least. When we come back here to call on you...we expect you to have an answer."
Chapter 2: help
Summary:
Skizz is going about his totally normal day as a member of the Heart Foundation. Trying to get by.
…There's just one notable difference.
Notes:
Hi, it’s me, Will! (BagOfGroceries)
I decided to stake my claim and write a chapter beyond beta reading and proofing. Me and Alyssa/Veth are swapping jobs this chapter, so let’s see how it goes.I am this close to punting him into the sun. -Veth (Alyssaromantic)
Wow, I made this in February! -Will (BagOfGroceries)
Let it be on the record that I had to fix how he spelled February. -Veth (Alyssaromantic)
TWs: Canonical character death, mental breakdowns, body horror, guilt complexes, loss of control, depictions of grief
Chapter Text
As he wakes up for the day, the same thought circles through his head:
Well, it's another day in the heaven made in hell.
It’s another day in the Heart Foundation (No relation to the Wrestling Stable, despite how much Impulse has been squealing about it), and everyone has to get ready to give some hearts to the lucky winner.
"Good morning, B."
"Morning Skizz!"
B seems eager to head over to The Cobblerooms as soon as possible. He doesn't know why he's gotten so attached, but hey, it’s a good sign of deprogramming.
All that's left is to wake up the third member of their ragtag crew.
"Good morning, Tango--"
"Yes, hello, good morning, I am Tango!"
Wait.
No.
...WHY IS REN HERE?!
"Skizz, my dear friend, why do you look so confused upon seeing me, Tango?"
"..."
"Are you so quiet due to my abject greatness?"
"...I know it’s you, dude."
"...Oh."
"Hey, I’m not selling you out. That’s immoral."
"...Thanks. Guess I’m just...not used to this."
"That’s alright dude. So what brings you here to our humble foundation?"
"Well, they said Tango needed to be informed of important things in order to facilitate the breakout. So I volunteered! I’ll be here till day’s end."
So he’ll be here for the day then, good to know.
"Okay. If you need anything at all, just be sure to come back to the Foundation. And be sure to be here for the daily giveaway at noon!"
"Alright, thanks Skizz!"
"No problem Re--I mean, Tango."
"Tango" smiles wide at that.
"See you at noon!"
And thus, the day begins.
Well, today’s task is an interesting one. He has to be a therapist. Shouldn’t be too hard, maybe just talk to some of the people he sees throughout the day.
Oh, there’s one now!
"Hello Grian!"
"Hi Skizz."
"Are you doing well today?"
"I suppose so, yes."
"Well, is anything bothering you?"
"...It’s about Scar."
"What about him?"
"..."
Well, that was a very productive discussion. But now, there’s a funeral he must attend.
Cleo is apparently throwing a funeral for Jimmy...which shouldn’t be happening. Nobody should remember that Jimmy always dies first, after all...but maybe that’s what he was talking to her about. He must have planned it then. He would be the person to know.
After the makeshift service, another person walks up to him, that being Lizzie.
"Hello there Lizzie, enjoy the service?"
"Yeah, it was nice. Don’t really understand the purpose though."
"Maybe it’s a trick?"
"Maybe."
"Well, is anything bothering you today?"
"...I’m worried about something."
"What is that thing?"
"...someone asked me to--”
Skizzleman: Congrats, Bdubs!
PearlescentMoon: WOOOOOOOOO
Mumbo: GG!
ethoslab: congratulations
InTheLittleWood: Next time it’ll be me!
Alright, another successful giveaway, and another satisfied customer.
Ren was...convincing enough, as Tango, but the explanations he's given for "Tango" and his behavior seem to have settled any potential issues. Hopefully.
With today’s main event out of the way, it's time for him to continue on with his task. Thankfully, it's made much easier by the man behind the counter at Trader Scar's.
"Welcome to Trader Scar's! What are you here for?"
"Just browsing, friend."
...He's covering his eyes today. It must be getting worse.
"You having a good day, Scar?"
"Can’t exactly say I am, Skizz."
"I’m here if you want to talk about it, okay?"
Scar looks at him with vibrant, purple eyes.
"...I’m afraid that I’ll lose myself."
"So Scott, anything you want to talk about?"
"There’s nothing you don’t already know about me, Skizz!"
"Alright, alright. Have a nice day, you rock fiend!"
He’s been wearing more makeup lately, probably to hide the signs.
But now, it’s on to someone else. And look, there’s a wild GeminiTay in her natural habitat!
"Hey Gem! You doing good today?"
What follows out of Gem’s mouth is not a noise that should be made by any human being of any age.
"...Gem?"
Yet another incomprehensible noise. How is she even doing that?
"Gem, are you okay?"
She makes another similar noise, all the while trying to reach out to him. Something is clearly wrong.
He thinks about the past few days, and what could have lead Gem to begin acting like this...she did have to open an End Portal, right?
But how would that cause this issue? Realms should not be able to affect people that much, after all.
Gods, maybe if he was with some of his superiors, they would know something, but for now he has to figure out...
Her eye. What happened to her eye? When this game started, both her eyes were the same shade of green, and now they should just be the same shade of yellow…
But her left eye seems to be stuck as a dull green. The green of an Eye of Ender. What happened to her?
She’s clearly not herself, so...what happened?
Gem makes that noise.
Oh. Must have been lost in thought again.
"I’ll...see you later, Gem."
Gem, or whatever is controlling Gem, just stares at him as he leaves.
It unnerves him.
After that, it’s probably best to head back to the Foundation. Clear his head from whatever happened with Gem.
"Hey Skizz! Can you help me with this?"
"Ah, sure thing B!"
Hmmmm...maybe they can talk while they’re working, and he can check how far along the deprogramming is.
"So, has my advice been helping recently?"
"Yeah, yeah. I don’t get why you’re even talking to me about it."
"Well, it’s something that’s good to talk about."
B looks at him with a quizzical expression.
"Skizz, why?"
"Well, it’s always important to know you’re not defined by your past. Before I met Impulse, I was, self admittedly, super boring. Always busy with some kind of work, or listening to one of my many superiors tell me what to do. And then I made a friend, and everything changed."
"So?"
"I’m a different man than I was back then. I assume the same can happen to you. You don’t have to be what they think you should be. You should just do what makes you happy, even if it’s just digging holes."
"...Okay."
"Why do you put so much effort into the Cobblerooms anyway?"
"I mean, it was just a task at first...but honestly? It’s just...something I can do. A way to really leave a mark, instead of just standing by and Watching it all happen. I want to really be someone, Skizz, and even if it’s silly, I think this is the way I can."
"And that’s a good thing! Everyone wants to leave a legacy behind, after all, so that just makes you no different from any other person I’ve met.”
"...Really?"
"Yes, really. You’re a person too, B."
"..."
B pulls him into a hug.
"...thanks Skizz..."
"Of course, friend."
He knows there’s more people to talk to...but he can stay like this for now.
...maybe this could be a full time job!
So far, this task has been a resounding success, not just in not getting caught, but also in actual application. He’s been talking to everyone, and it honestly seems like he made great progress with everyone’s issues...except for Gem. But that’s for another day, for now--
Oh he is low on hearts.
Well, might as well be a bit more cautious now, and not take a lot of requests for help.
"Hey Skizz!"
...One exception. Just one.
"What do you need, Lizzie?"
"Umm... can you come to my sleepover?"
...This is a trap. This is very clearly, a trap.
"Okay Lizzie, sure thing."
He can fight it off, no problem.
"Okay! Just come over to my place! See you soon!"
Well, let’s see what this is about.
...It was a zombie.
"I’m really sorry Skizz!"
Crap, he’s down to half a heart. But with one more swing, he should be able to take it out. And he does.
"Hey, you made it! I was really worried you were going to die!"
"I got close, but I’m still here!"
"Good to know there’s no Boogeyman in my closet, right?"
…Oh.
"Yeah. Yeah, that’s good."
"Well, I've got other people to attempt to murder! Bye Skizz!"
"...Bye Lizzie."
...She knows. She knows.
...The thing that’s controlling Gem found him again. From what he could tell, they needed someone to help setup a tripwire. Scott was close by, so maybe he’s helping? Well, that’s just gonna be food for—
He’s interrupted by a bolt of lightning.
That’s not good. At all.
He looks to see where he—
...Jimmy is still there. He didn’t die first.
The curse has been broken.
So if Jimmy’s still alive, then who—
Oh. Oh no.
He just talked to her! What happened? Who even did this to her? His trick worked too well. Scott needs to answer for
He wakes up.
”...well then.”
Looking around, he seems to be...back at Lizzie’s house.
Oh, poor Lizzie. She's always so nice to everyone. He hopes that isn’t what caused her to perish.
And poor Joel, too. No matter how hard they tried, and he knows they tried, the feelings Lizzie and Joel had for each other couldn’t be removed.
He finds himself cleaning the house, trying to do something to take his mind off the many things racing through his head.
...There’s so many gifts for Joel. Maybe he can go talk to him later.
But for now, he cleans. It’s all he can do.
He keeps thinking about it. She said Boogeyman. She knew. How did she know? Who gave her that information? Why was she given that information?
Moreover, does it have something to do with the fact she was only in twice? Does that mean Mumbo knows too?
...No. That’s probably too much of a reach. Calm down, you’re doing this for Joel, after all.
He finds the man of the hour sulking outside his house, almost ignorant of the garden surrounding him.
The vibrancy of his Life Series Merch™ seems dulled by the grief he is undoubtedly experiencing...and he does not appear to be alone.
Alongside him is some form of red specter, seemingly formless and human shaped all at once, his only defining feature being eyes that seem to be shaped like glasses.
It looks at him, then gestures back to Joel.
Guess even the specter knows that Joel needs someone right now.
"Hey, Joel?"
"...Hey Skizz..."
Joel’s voice is shaky, as though he has been crying for some time.
"Are you okay?"
"...no..."
"...Can I sit with you?"
"...sure..."
He sits down. The silence is palpable.
"...I’m really sorry about Lizzie."
"..."
"Well, I, um, accidentally respawned in her house, and there were some things she never got to give you."
"...okay."
"Am I good to give them to you now? They were meant to be yours, after all."
"...yes please."
He hands over the copious amounts of diamonds, gold, and other precious items Lizzie collected for her husband. Joel smiles weakly.
"...thank you..."
"Of course, it only seemed right to give them to you."
"...already miss her."
"That’s perfectly valid. You were husband and wife, after all. You want that bond to last forever, even when it doesn’t."
"...what do I do without her, Skizz? She was my everything."
"That question doesn’t have one answer. Everyone grieves differently, Joel. Some people shut themselves away from the world. Others live in denial as long as they can. And others still fall into deep depression. I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I can give you some advice."
Joel looks at him with a quizzical expression.
"The best thing you can do right now is to keep going for her. She might not be around to do things, but you are. And as long as you keep Lizzie in everything you did, and remember how much she meant to you, then she isn’t gone. She lives in you. And I know that sounds really cheesy—"
Joel hugs him. Looks like his reassurance was just what he needed. He chokes out the next few words in between sobs.
"...thank...you..."
"Of course Joel. We’re friends. That’s what they do."
"...stay?"
"I can stay until you feel better."
"...okay..."
...yeah. This should be a full time job.
There’s one person left he hasn’t talked to today. It’s honestly fitting, considering the circumstances.
He has to search a bit to find him, but following the sounds of celebration gave him a good place to look.
"Jimmy!"
"SKIZZ! COME HERE, WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!"
He’s clearly elated, and everyone can tell.
"Okay, okay, I’m coming. Someone’s excited, huh?"
"Well, why wouldn’t I be? I didn’t die first! I’M ALIVE! No more curses, no more suffering…no more cage. I’m free."
"And that makes you feel really good, I’m guessing."
"Well, duh! This is the best I’ve felt in a--"
Jimmy is slowly drowned out by someone calling his name.
"SKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZ--oh hey Jimmy--SKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZ!"
"Umm, B, what’s going on?"
"There’s something coming this way, you both need to run!"
What is he talking--OH MY GODS!
"RUN!"
He dashes to what he thinks is a safe place, as the sounds of panic swirl around him.
"What’s happening?!?"
"Who even did this?"
"NOW THERE’S A WITHER TOO?!"
"JIMMY’S DEAD!"
Fuck. That’s not good.
Everyone is panicking, nobody knows what to...what is Scar doing?
"We need to get to a safe spot!"
"Is everyone okay?"
"MUMBO--"
The world stops.
...and Scar breaks out.
For a moment, there is silence.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Grian’s yelling interrupts the silence, as he and B run over to talk to him.
"Skizz, please tell me you saw--"
"I did, what do you need me to do?"
"Grian is insisting on going after him, but you’re the only person who can do that and not get smited."
"...please...keep him safe..."
"…I will."
And he flies out, following the trail.
Something is clearly different when he finds the man of the hour.
For one, his eyes have changed color once more, finding themselves a heterochromatic blue and orange.
Second...there’s more of them.
"Scar?"
The man turns to him, eyes staring directly into his soul.
"What happened to you?"
"...escape."
"What do you mean 'escape'?"
More eyes form along his body.
"Jimmy and Mumbo. Escape."
"...Scar, what did you do?
"..."
Scar runs off, back into the world.
"SCAR!"
He follows him from behind, but loses him.
...Fuck.
"SKIZZ!"
Grian runs up to him, clearly panicking.
"...Scar...he..."
He instantly pulls Grian into a hug.
"...my fault...my fault."
"It’s gonna be okay. This wasn’t your fault. I promise."
"Sorry...sorry..."
"This wasn’t your fault."
He hopes that Grian will accept the truth. He knows he won’t.
He has started to hate this day as it goes along.
So many things have happened today, it’s almost too much.
He’s ready to call it a day, and turn in early.
Then B breaks down the door, with Tango, the real Tango, in his arms.
And all his eyes are open.
"...Skizz..."
"B, what happened? I’ll take Tango to his bed."
"Ren...hurt...they..."
"It’s okay, you’re safe here."
He takes Tango out of his arms. Something bad has clearly happened.
"...disobeyed...gonna kill me..."
"No they won’t. I will keep you safe."
"...should have Watched..."
"No you shouldn’t have. Someone is alive today because of the actions you took. And that’s an amazing thing. I promise you, right here, right now, I will keep you safe."
"...but..."
"You don’t have to be a Watcher anymore. You can just be...B."
His words sit with the frightened man...before a hug pulls him close.
"...thank you..."
"Always. You’re my friend."
That day, they fall asleep side by side. And he knows that he has to save him, too.
Chapter 3: escape
Summary:
Jimmy is cursed. The canary in the coal mine, destined to die and never venture outside the boundaries of its cage, tortured for eternity.
But someone else is dead now, it isn't him, and there's a voice in his head trying to teach him how to fly.
Notes:
You want Jimmy to be happy? Fine. But he's working pretty fucking hard for it.
(Mumbo, Skizz and Tango writing by BagOfGroceries!)
TWs: Being deliberately ignored, hallucinations, body horror, near death experiences, temporary character death, unreality, conditioning, themes of abuse, descriptions of destroying your own hands/self harm, fear of memory erasure, self-dehumanization
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Okay. Well. Scar is pulling a pretty great prank on him right now, although he hates to admit it to himself.
But really? He had to make a grave on top of it, and fill a chest with feathers?
Well, guess he can never say that Scar won't get stuff done...
He is wondering how he convinced Cleo to officiate though. Nevermind, how the hell he managed to convince the entire SERVER, because no one is talking to him right now.
Well, Scar is a salesman...even during the first game, he was somehow getting armor for sheets of paper.
But they'll probably all drop the joke after today, so whatever. Besides, it gives him some free time to complete his red tasks!
He's not saying thanks though. Not for a prank. Scar's gotta earn it!
And now...time to stalk Gem--oh, they made a doorbell? That's...actually kind of awesome...not good for stalking though. Time to leave.
Hmm...maybe he should try to steal from someone? Maybe Pearl? It would help him test how committed she is to the bit.
He enters her house. She's outside, so he makes sure she can see him enter. He hears her snicker.
He starts looking around...some of this stuff is interesting--is she swatting at him like a fly? Seriously?
"You know, you could at least say something funny while you're doing this! Like ooooh, I can still feel his presence or something!"
Hey, he made her laugh! And then she...shakes her head? And smiles again!
"Lalalala, doing my task!"
Hey, there's something! But what the hell does it--and he's being pushed out of the house, okay--
...well, that was a failure! But...at least it doesn't seem malicious. He'll keep going.
Maybe back to Gem's place? Maybe he could try and look at the doorbell for a bit. Learn how to trap it!
...alright, he's back. And oh boy, Skizz is here. They don't exactly like each other right now, so he might as well shoot at him while he isn't able to stop it!
...fuck, it just made him leave. Well, still fun though!
So how about--JEEZ, that lightning scared the shit out of him! Or...was it TNT? Kinda sounded like both...
"Wha--guys?"
Pearl just said something. Well, even if she doesn't respond, he can at least give his opinion.
"I don't know. Someone blow something up?"
Pearl...checks her book? Okay, that's weird.
"Oh, it's gone now! Hey Jimmy, sorry about earlier!"
"Wha...what's gone?"
"Eh, just something weird in my book. Wait, but it said it would disappear when--"
Joel is screaming. Joel is fucking screaming.
...what the hell happened--
"JOEL!"
Okay, Pearl's running after him. He--he should follow, he needs to figure out what's going on here--
They find him at the fairground. He's so fucking loud, how is Joel not tearing out his vocal chords!?
"Joel, what's--"
More screaming. Pearl goes over and grabs his arm. Somehow, it seems like that shocks him back to life.
"Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie..."
"Are...are you sure?"
Joel starts holding Pearl's hand in a death grip. That's definitely going to kill her blood flow.
"Lizzie..."
...he's not sure what's happening over there. Is...is this private? Should he go?
Pearl turns back to him, still holding Joel's hand. He feels...uneasy.
"Fuck, we need to go back to the Secret Keeper, everyone's going to be meeting there."
With an explosion that big? Yeah, obviously! Everyone's going to want to know who's base just got blown up!
"Why? Did she set off the TNT?"
"Lizzie's...Lizzie's gone. Joel can tell, apparently."
"...what, did she set it off or something? Did they put her in explosion jail?"
Pearl...Pearl isn't laughing. Why isn't she laughing?
"...meh, I'll just tell Martyn to break it to you. Come on, let's go."
She initially tries to get Joel to follow them, but...no luck. He's not sure why. Doesn't he want to cheer his wife on? Or get her away from whoever's mad at her?
Either way, now they're back at the Secret Keeper.
Martyn and Cleo are here...wait, why does Martyn seem pissed? Oh void, was it their base!?
"Martyn, chill out before you break that rock with your mind!"
Yup, he should probably ask Cleo.
"How bad's the damage?"
"I haven't heard who yet. Pearl?"
"Lizzie. Joel knew."
"...damn. Well, guess that thing is over now, right?"
"Yeah, it's gone from my book."
Cleo turns to him again. He still has no idea what they're talking about. Joel was a co-conspirator on the TNT or something?
"Well...congrats on your funeral not being real? Proud of you, buddy!"
"Uhh...thanks? Why?"
"Just some stuff me and Scott talked about. So, what? Gonna party or something?"
"About my base possibly being blown up? No thanks!"
"...wait. That's what you think happened?"
"Yeah, he...isn't getting it. I was gonna have Martyn help, but..."
Yeah, that's the one thing about this conversation he understands. Martyn seems...unhinged. He does not want to know why.
"That's fair...they were allies, right? So maybe he's in denial?"
"Denial? I am fully facing the idea that my base just--"
Oh hey, Scar's here! He should wave him over, maybe he's seen--
"JIMMY!"
Wha--why did he just get fucking tackle hugged!? Excited about his prank, much?
"Holy shit, you're alive! You did it!"
"Uhh...yeah? Getting people to ignore me isn't very deadly, you know. Why'd you stop?"
"Getting...he hasn't realized yet, has he? Wait, who even was it?"
"Lizzie. And no, he hasn't."
"I did try to tell him earlier!"
"...guys, give us some space. It's best if we talk alone."
Lizzie and Cleo walk away. It's just him and Scar now.
He's...uncomfortable. Something...something weird is happening. It hasn't been like this before in the other games.
"...hey. Sit down with me? My leg's complaining anyways."
"Uhh...sure..."
Somehow they end up laying down together instead, Scar's cane in the grass next to him.
"Look at me, okay?"
He does. He's waiting for the death blow of how badly she broke Baxter. Maybe the reason why it's so bad is that they lost all of their stuff, or something. Or maybe--
"Lizzie is dead."
...oh. She died blowing up their stuff. Well...that's fine! That's reasonable. Not as big of a deal as everyone is making it out to be though.
"...so...she's on red now?"
"No. She was on red. You killed her, remember? And now she's dead again."
"...so she's--"
He...the horse thing must have not counted, right? Did he stab her the wrong way--
"Dead. She's gone. She's out of the game."
...
"...Jimmy?"
...he...he's...
...he can't...he's not...he can't be...
...arms. Around him. He's...crying? He...he doesn't understand...he isn't allowed to...
"Shhh...it's okay...you did it...you're okay..."
...this...this isn't right...it can't be like this...
"Let's just stay here, okay? We're gonna make it. It'll be okay."
"...but...task..."
"Mine's already done. It's okay. I can stay."
...there's a feather in Scar's hand. He doesn't know how that got there.
Nothing makes sense...nothing does...
...there's a noise? Someone's saying--
"Jimmy!"
"SKIZZ! COME HERE, WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!"
Oh. Scar's still here too. Okay...
"Okay, okay, I'm coming!"
Skizz is here...but everything is still wrong. He should be dead right now. It's...it's how it's worked. It's how it's always worked.
And...and if she's really dead, then that means the curse is broken. And...and if it is...
...Tango...
"Hey! How are you feeling, buddy? Feeling good?"
He whines. This is wrong, this is wrong, this shouldn't have happened. He should have jumped off a cliff the second someone else got red, he shouldn't have risked it and now he's going to forget--
"You're alive, dude! Shouldn't you be smiling about this?"
"Leave him alone, Skizz. He's still processing it."
"...tango...no, needed to die...because now it's gone..."
"But now the Watchers can't hurt you anymore!"
He screams at that. They're wrong, they're wrong, why did he forget what the conditions are--
"THEY'LL JUST MAKE ME FORGET!"
Scar's staring at him.
...they never really did talk about that part of it, did they?
"...Jimmy--"
"SKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZ--oh hey Jimmy--SKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZSKIZZ!"
What--okay that's a way to snap him out of a panic attack, why is BigB here?
"Umm, B, what’s going on?"
"There’s something coming this way, you both need to run!"
He looks around the area, because if B is panicked then something's definitely--
OKAY SOMEONE BROUGHT A FUCKING WARDEN TO THE SURFACE, THAT'S GREAT.
"RUN!"
He doesn't waste any time in doing so. He decides to go after Martyn, try and find him. He didn't look okay at all earlier, and someone being unstable around a Warden of all things might just be the worst possible idea right now.
He'll just bury his feelings around everything and pull them out once he's almost dead. Because he knows he isn't going to win. This is all he can do.
He hasn't been able to find him. Which is bad, because he needs to pull both of them away, Martyn's on red too--
The Wither's nearby, and--holy shit it's chasing Scar? And he isn't dead?
He shoots a few arrows at it for assistance. Scar seems grateful? It's hard to tell with the screaming.
And suddenly Mumbo's coming towards him and OKAY FUCK THAT'S THE WARDEN--
Welp! Time to run!
There's no point in time sticking together and both getting blasted, so he runs off to the side.
He's too slow though, because he can feel the Warden push him (Or was it them again? He wouldn't be surprised) off of the ledge. He survives to meet the landing, unfortunately, because he can tell that most of the bones in his body are completely shattered.
He...okay, this is sooner than he was hoping. Now he just gets to lay here and look like an idiot for--
He jolts awake. The cage is cold.
...must be for the last time now.
He feels...numb. It's weird.
He knows he's scared, he's scared out of his fucking mind, but it feels like numbness.
...acceptance, maybe?
...he pulls himself up off the stone floor. Well. Might as well say goodbye to this place, before they come to collect him.
He looks to the corner. The little project he started after the first game, that took so long that he didn't finish it until months after the second.
Stone, which he already busted his knuckles open trying to destroy. He did his best to sharpen his nails for it.
Then obsidian. Well. Nothing else to do. He broke the bones in his hand so many times.
The Watchers always laughed whenever he attempted it. And once he finished...he understood why.
Bedrock on the bottom. Impossible without redstone and messing with code.
...he'd stopped trying after that.
And it's not like he ever could have done anything for the bars. The lesson they gave him the first time he tried...
...he looks to the middle of the floor. Written bloodstains. He remembers bashing his left hand against the bedrock, just so he could write to him with his right.
Tango's fingers were sharp enough to scratch, though. He stares at the conversation.
if you can see this, write pancakes
pancakes
jimmy?
how
does it matter?
...nevermind. He feels sick looking at this.
He doesn't even know why he put him in the cage with him for a few minutes. Just to torture him more?
...whatever. Those thoughts don't matter. None of this matters.
He'll forget, and they'll send him to the other world, and Scar already remembered for a while on his own, and he was fine. So he shouldn't worry about him either.
He's...fine. Everything's fine.
...they haven't come to mock him yet, at least. He still has time to say goodbye to everything he loved.
To his life before this.
To Martyn, who never stopped being an idiot, but at least he was the one thing the man didn't run from.
To Scott, before he went missing despite being right in front of him.
To his friends who mocked him, but he loved them because he knew they didn't mean it.
To...Tango.
...he's not going to cry. He's not going to--
A flash. He has just enough time to pull himself back before he watches as the bars on the other side of the cage completely IMPLODE.
One by one, they turn into nothing but debris on the wood floor.
...are the Watchers doing this before they come to him? They've always been able to appear inside the cage, so why--
"Jimmy!"
...that's...that's not their voice.
That's...
He inches closer to the new hole in the wall.
Scar is there, and...okay, what the fuck happened to him? He knows his eyes can go purple, but they definitely shouldn't be going blue and orange.
"...what--"
"I'm not letting that happen. Come on. Let's go."
...okay, what the fuck is happening.
How is Scar even awake? Scratch that, how have the Watchers not shot him on sight for doing this!?
"How the--what the fuck!?"
"I'll explain while we're running. I don't know how long it's going to take them to fix what I broke in there."
"The hell did you break!?"
"I don't know, now let's leave!"
He...he...what is Scar talking about? Leaving? There's nowhere to go. Just the void.
"They'll just find me, Scar. Going 10 feet away isn't going to help."
"I know. We're getting out of here, period."
...escaping?
No...no, he isn't allowed to do that. He's the canary. He's trapped. That's the entire thing.
"I...I can't. I'm supposed to be here."
"The hell are you talking about? You hate it here!"
"It's...it's all I'm allowed to have."
"No it's fucking not! Jimmy!"
Scar's climbed up to the side of the cage at this point. Why does he look desperate? He doesn't need a canary. He only drags people down and gets them killed. Just like...
You're still here?
...there's a voice. He looks from side to side, but he can't find it. But he knows the voice, and...
...no. He's gone. He isn't here. This doesn't make sense--
It’s over. Go home.
It...no. It's not over. It'll never be over. He'll just forget, and the loop will continue for eternity. He'll never be free. He can't be free...
Yes you can. Look at that big hole right in front of you. That's freedom. That's your chance.
He's...he's not allowed to. He's just a canary, right? It's his fault that he failed so many times, so he has to be...
They literally pushed you off once! You are so much more than a damn bird. You are a big dog. You are a bad boy. You are a winner, even if it’s not here. And you are the man I love. You are everything you want to be and more. So go. Be.
...he...he doesn't want to leave him behind. He wants to go, but he can't just--
I won’t be far behind. Go.
...he looks up. Scar is holding a hand out to him.
And with trembling fingers...he takes it.
"...alright,. Let's hurry."
...and they--okay Scar is DRAGGING him he should probably keep up!
"I've seen the place where they keep everyone once or twice from waking up."
"Waking up?"
"It's complicated and I don't know either! The point is, we're grabbing Mumbo and Lizzie!"
He's never seen the place where they keep the others before. Honestly, he always has been kind of curious about it.
It's closer than he thought though. They arrive, and...
All of them are just...suspended in the air. Given just enough movement up there for it to seem like they're falling.
...holy shit. If this is what he avoided...he can't believe he's saying this, but maybe he got lucky.
He sees--Martyn!
He runs over to him, grabbing his hand. He's clearly asleep, and doesn't react to the touch.
"Scar--"
"We can't. They're in the game fixing what I broke, remember? If we wake anyone in there up, they'll know."
...he tightens his grip on his hand. He feels like a traitor.
"...I'm sorry. But we can't waste our chance praying they don't notice."
"...yeah. I know."
"...I get how you feel. I couldn't find Grian here."
...he lets go of his hand, and walks back towards Scar. He deliberately makes sure that he doesn't find Tango's. He'd never leave if he did.
"Have you seen Lizzie?"
"No. Weren't you the one looking?"
"Yeah. There's some sort of gap between spaces, and I know it isn't mine."
...he deliberately refuses to share what he thinks happened there. He does not want to think about the idea of Lizzie sharing his fate.
Scar sighs, and turns to the person in front of them. Mumbo.
"Can you actually wake him up?"
"Yup! Mumbo's ticklish."
He has absolutely no time to react to that statement before Scar puts his hands underneath Mumbo's sleeves and starts messing with him. It...doesn't take long for him to start laughing.
"Stop! Stop! Stop tickling me!"
...how in the actual hell did that work.
Thankfully, Scar relents, stepping back and giving him some space to breathe.
"Hey Mumbo."
"Hold on...still calming...wait, where the fuck are we?"
Thankfully, he's at least able to answer that question! Perks to being awake because the Watchers want to torture you.
"The void. We're going back home."
"...home?"
"Yeah. Hermitcraft. You need to go now, because I don't know how much time we have left."
He picks up on that.
"...you need to go?"
Scar nods.
"If I did this once, maybe I could do it again. I need to stay."
"Scar, what the fuck is going on!?"
"Just follow me and dad will tell you later!"
And now he's dragging Mumbo! It's amazing how fast Scar can be with a cane sometimes. Or maybe it's just pure adrenaline and his legs are going to kill him for this later. He hopes it's the former.
Okay--FUCK, WATCHER!
...wait, it's...Scott? What?
"Thanks, I'll take them from here."
"Who in the--"
"What--the fuck?"
"I'll tell you later, just go back to sleep before they kill you for doing that. I'll take them back."
He has officially lost the plot of what is happening, and it seems like the others have too.
...Scar nods to him though. It...part of his demeanor seems to shift, almost? He opens his mouth to ask him about it--
Okay, he's on the floor again! And HOLY SHIT HIS FUCKING BACK--
Why does it feel like it's rotting--why is there so much noise--what's going on--
"Mumbo!"
He hears someone kneel next to them? Wait, someone? Is it that weird not-Scott person again?
"...help Jimmy..."
Oh void, now they're going to be torturing him or selling his organs or something.
There's...feathers around him? That's way more than before...where are they coming from?
...why is the person so quiet?
"Shit, knocking you out now. DOC, I NEED MEDICAL!"
Wait--no--he doesn't want to go to sleep again--that fucking trai--
...he's on something soft. His back still feels like it's on fire, though.
There's also something around his neck...? He can't see it right now.
He forces his head to move slightly...there's a feather on the floor below him. It's covered in blood, and it's...decayed?
...okay, there's way more than one feather like that.
He looks down...and there's a totem hanging from a chain around his neck.
...why? And...where is he?
This...isn't his room in the waiting place...and they never give them a starting base in any of the games...
...he still remembers. That's good. He still has a chance to get out of here--
"Meow!"
...
...
...Norman's curled up next to him. It takes all of the strength he has, but he manages to hug him.
This...this can't be real...but why would the Watchers be impersonating his cat? He doesn't understand...
...there's something on the side table. It looks like...a comm? He doesn't think he'll be able to reach it though. Not when he's in this much pain. Moving too much, especially forwards or backwards feels like a death sentence.
...why did he just hear a door open?
Okay--there's another cat in his vision now? They hop up onto the bed as well (And okay, it's starting to get pretty crowded in Cat Town) and drop something next to him.
It's a picture of Scar, and the cat.
Oh. It's Jellie.
...oh.
"...s...sorry...don't have...your owner..."
The cat...nods? Shouldn't she be upset?
Instead, she jumps onto the bedside table, pushing the comm shaped thing towards him and...turning it on with her paws? Don't people usually need fingerprints for these?
...okay, so it is a comm. There's...a message on it.
Renthedog: Jimmy, either when I'm off bedrest or when you are, whichever comes first, talk to me about whatever you like.
...Ren? But he hasn't seen him since the third game...
...this shit is confusing. And he's so fucking tired. And moving makes him feel like he wants to explode.
...he sinks into the bedsheets as much as he can. Norman stays in his embrace, and Jellie...also joins the hug. Well...he's not complaining about cat cuddles.
He still feels like this is a trap. Something's wrong here. But he can't really do anything to solve it right now, so...he might as well have one nice moment, right?
...he drifts back off to sleep. And for the tiniest moment, he considers the possibility that this might be real.
Notes:
For Jellie, with love.
Chapter 4: friend
Summary:
Mumbo, the Miner, the Redstone Guru. He never expected to be on the ship in these circumstances. Hell, he didn't even remember the ship until he was on it. No matter.
He just needs to survive a day.
Notes:
Who's ready for Mumbo to have a mental breakdown?!?!
(Jimmy, False and Xisuma writing by Alyssaromantic!)
TWs: Spiraling (constantly), panic attacks, hallucinations, self-hatred, malnutrition, neck injuries, needles/IV drips
Chapter Text
Everything says he's been here before.
His memories, his friends, even the fact that some of his stuff is there.
By all accounts, this is the Hermithesus. It still doesn’t feel like the same ship he remembers.
Everyone is so...tense. People are acting like something bad could happen at any time. Considering what has happened, totally fair on their part, but it just adds to the unease permeating the ship.
Doc is working, Cub is working, Xisuma refuses to stop working, and everyone else is either looking after Jimmy, or mostly staying in their rooms.
The fun has been sucked out of Hermitcraft. And the fun has been sucked out of him.
There are moments he wishes he could just be working on Grumbot and stressing out over the best kind of Spirit Gum for his mustache, instead of whatever’s happening now.
Maybe talking to someone would help? Or maybe it would just make him feel worse?
Either way, there's nothing else to do. Might as well.
It's not like things can get any worse.
It's easy to spot Zedaph's room. The door is decorated with moments from every season he‘s been a part of...even the most recent one.
He wonders how Zedaph even got stuff from Season 8 onto the ship, considering everything. Did he pre-plan? Was that put up in the middle of the season?
He doesn’t get any more time to think before Zedaph himself opens the door.
"Are you gonna stand around, or are you gonna knock?"
"...oh. Sorry."
"It's fine Mumbo. Come in!"
He awkwardly walks into the room packed with memories. The crystals from his first base. Copious amounts of autographed Worm Man memorabilia. The scythe from when he pretended to be Death itself. And a piece of the Wool Wall. He had to have grabbed it on the way out.
"So, what's on your mind? You clearly got something. Want to know how I got the Wool Wall before everything went to shit?"
"No, not today. Just...thinking about a lot."
"You can talk to me dude, I'm all ears."
Well, here he goes. Time to rip off the band-aid.
"...Is Grian gonna hate me?"
"Whoa, Mumbo, why are you thinking that?"
"...I promised to never forget him. And I did. I failed him. He should hate me."
"You promised? When?"
...Guess he has to tell him now.
"...When he came back. When he remembered me. I promised him I'd never forget. Not for a single moment."
"Did you want to?"
"...No, but--"
"Well, then think of it like you're Worm Man! He always tried to save everyone he could, but there were points where he couldn't, due to circumstances outside of his own control. But that didn't make him a bad hero or a bad person. He still tried! And yeah, it's sad that he couldn't, but he still did everything else he could."
"...It's not like that."
"Yes it is. Xisuma told us all your memories were forcibly ripped away from you."
"..."
"Mumbo, nobody is going to blame you for something that is out of your control."
That can't be right...can it? No matter what, he's still terrible, and Zedaph has to know that!
"...I still feel shitty about it. I made a promise to him, and I couldn't keep it. What the hell does that make me?"
"A victim. Just like everyone else who had to spend even one second in there."
He stands there in a brief silence, not knowing what to say...or even what he can say.
"I know you, Mumbo Jumbo. I know that if you had the choice, you wouldn't forget a single moment of time with your friends."
"...I..."
"Your friends are all going to come home safe and sound, and they will still be your friends. I guarantee it."
"...thanks..."
"It's no problem, dude. You should probably get to bed soon, clock says it's starting to get late. And you clearly look like it's needed."
"...okay..."
He wanders back to his own room, and frumps onto his bed. Maybe sleep would be nice, right about now.
"...help Jimmy..."
Where is he? Who is he even talking to? Are they even going to help him?
"Shit, knocking you out now. DOC, I NEED MEDICAL!"
...Jimmy collapses. Chunks of his wings are falling out now. He doesn’t like that.
"Mumbo? Are you okay?"
...He's talking to him now. He knows his name. Why does he know it?
"...who...?"
"Xisuma. You're back on the ship, now."
...Xisuma? The...the admin?
...He forgot. He forgot everyone. He knew people before this. Scar and Pearl and Gem and Impulse and...Grian. He forgot Grian. He promised to never do that.
And Scar is all wrong and he saw him grow eyes and he's the worst friend ever and and and and and and and
"Mumbo?"
He he he he he he he he he he he--
He wakes up screaming.
He needs to find him. He needs to talk to him now. He needs it.
He finds the place he's in. The long term area.
He pounds on the door, praying that it will stop the spinning.
...He hears a groan. Jimmy's awake.
"Is--is--is it unlocked?"
He doesn't normally have a stutter. What's going on with him?
He fiddles with the door, and ends up accidentally pushing it open.
Jimmy stares back at him.
"...hi."
"...find a way out of here?"
Huh? Maybe he should come back tomorrow then, Jimmy might be--
"This...this is obviously...a trap...so have you?"
Oh. He doesn't know what this is. He should explain, like a good friend. Cause that's what he is.
"Th-this is the ship we use between Hermitcraft seasons. Keralis calls it the Hermithesus. We started using it because Scar gets bad when he jumps between servers."
"...they're caging us here. Making us think we...got out so they can break us...when we find out..."
...He doesn't believe him. Why does he not believe him? Is he doing something wrong?
"...Nobody here's a Watcher, Jimmy. I promise."
"They're impersonating them. We...we need to l...leave."
They can't. That is actually suicide.
"…they're real. They have to be real, I know they're real. They saved your life. They fixed your code. They gave you the undying totems."
"…they…they didn't get to you…right?"
"N-no. Of course not."
"But...you’re falling...for it."
"Because I know them. tr-trust me, dad is safe."
The silence that follows is palpable.
"...I won't be brainwashed...not...not like you...get out..."
"...Jimmy?"
"GET OUT!"
NONONONONONONONONONONONONO--
"Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorryssorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry--"
Everything is spinning. Nothing makes sense. It all hurts. Everything hurts.
Jimmy opens his mouth, reaching out to him--
"WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS!"
He wakes up in a room that isn't his...where's Jimmy? Where's he? Was Jimmy--
"Good. You're awake."
...Nope, a pissed off Doc is truly one of a kind.
"Went in to check on Jimmy's stitches, and found you passed out on the floor. What happened?"
...It was his fault. He should just listen next time. Then he won't get mad.
"...Jimmy yelled at me..."
"I could guess. He was yelling at me at too."
"...sounded like Grian..."
...Doc's confused now.
"Like Grian? What did he say?"
"...c-can still b-be friends..."
"...I think you might have experienced an auditory hallucination. Isn’t that what Grian said to you?"
"...mhm..."
"I think you were just panicked, okay? He is suffering from some kind of paranoid delusions, so I asked X to talk to him. I would probably get too upset, myself."
"...Why?"
"To make a long story short: I take things personally. Losing an arm to a vengeful deity will do that to you."
...He sounds a little bitter.
"Working on a prosthetic replacement alone let me know that some people want to assume the worst. And that hurts."
"...I...like you."
"...thanks, Mumbo. And make sure you're eating well, gotta get the nutrients back you lost in the Void."
He ends up lounging for a bit, listening to Doc talk about something or another.
Until he gets a text.
Xisumavoid: Jimmy wants to talk to you.
It's Jimmy. Probably to yell at him again since he's a terrible friend who deserves--
Xisumavoid: He wants to apologize.
...Oh.
Mumbo: he does?
Xisumavoid: Yes, he does.
Mumbo: okay.
He says goodbye to Doc, and walks back to Jimmy's room.
...dad wouldn't lie to him, right? Jimmy actually wants to apologize?
But he was a bad friend and let him die and wanted to kick him out of the Southlanders and--
...he's here.
He knows the door is unlocked. He pushes it open, ready for Jimmy to yell at him again.
...It doesn’t come.
"...hey...sorry..."
"...no, it's okay, I deserve it cause I--"
"No, it's...it's not your fault. Just...I miss them. I miss Martyn. I miss...I miss Tango..."
"...I miss them too."
"...I miss my friends..."
"...are we still friends?"
He's going to say no. He knows he's going to say no, why would Jimmy ever forgive--
"...Mumbo, of course we're still friends."
He doesn't know when he started crying. He does know that he went over to give his friend a hug.
"Uh--no, no, I appreciate the sentiment, but not with my back."
"Oh--sorry--sorry. Umm..."
Does he have a telescope on him? He knows there was something they said back and forth to each other, it was...it was...
"...Aha! Is--is that right?"
Jimmy stifles a laugh, and cups his hands around his right eye.
"AHA!"
...Looks like it was right.
"AHA!"
"AHA!"
"AHA!"
They go on like that for almost a minute, before Jimmy lets out a yawn.
"...I’m getting tired again. And my back is hurting."
"No problem, Tim. I'll let you get some rest, okay?"
"...thanks. See you soon...?"
"...Yeah. See you soon."
He waves goodbye to Jimmy, and exits the room, remembering to close the door on the way out.
...Void he's hungry. He hasn't had any redstone in a bit, considering he was trapped for a few weeks...but waiting a bit longer should be okay, right?
Okay, someone is clearly getting some sparring practice in. He can understand the anger, but it's starting become a little bit overkill. He should go over there and ask them to quiet down.
Xisuma had a sparring room installed so that anyone who was into PvP could practice during the trips. Guess right now it really has come in handy.
"Excuse me, can you--"
"ROT IN HELL, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! TAKE MY SWORD AND FUCKING CHOKE ON IT--oh. Hey Mumbo!"
"Hi False. You seem a bit...worked up."
And the winner for "understatement of the century" goes to...that!
"Yeah, yeah...you know how everyone feels already. It's not fucking new."
"...you want to fight the Watchers?"
"No shit. Kidnapping is...well..."
She stares at the floor for a moment.
"Let's, umm...let's just say I have a history with that. The only problem is that even I'm not that dumb, and I'm sure as hell not suicidal. The Watchers have a literal ARMY! We've all heard Grian's stories about them. If I went in on my own, or even with some of the others, we wouldn't make it out alive."
"Maybe we could get more people?"
"The guys from Empires? We've already been in contact with them. Same with the Listeners, but...I'm with dad on my thoughts on them. We can't trust them after what happened to Gem."
"Wait, what happened to Gem?"
She blinks, doing nothing for a moment. Then...places down her practice sword, and sighs.
"They...they haven't told you?"
"...No?"
"Okay...so, during one of the games, they gave her and dad an offer. You remember what she told us about her medical shit, right? The weird dreams?"
"The stuff she's been confused about for years?"
"Yeah. So during one of them...they offered to put her in. Just for an hour or two. We were doubtful, but...we needed info, you know? So they did it, and she...she was okay. So obviously that was a good thing, right? And then they offered to do it again, but...with a full game this time. Promising that they'd be able to pull her if the Watchers ever did anything against it."
There is silence, for a moment...before False takes one of her legs and kicks a noticeable hole in the wall.
"AND THEN THEY FUCKING THREW REN BACK IN WITH HER!"
"Oh shit. That why his neck is broken?"
"Yeah! Because OBVIOUSLY, throwing him back to a group of people who just tried to murder him was a good idea! So obviously, dad told them to fucking pull Gem! And now they're saying they can't actually get her out of there!"
It feels like he walked into an already complicated situation, as he scratches a patch of dry skin on his arm.
"...Are they trying, at least?"
"They say they are. I think they're lying."
"It sounds like they got caught with their pants down, in my opinion."
"I don't care. With that big of a failure? They deserve whatever happens to them."
He sighs.
"False, please do not wish death on people. Again."
"Our family's in a fucking death game, Mumbo. I'll do whatever I need to."
"...Death is not solved with more death. Trust me."
She stares at him, her eyes cutting into him like daggers.
"...trust me. From my experience, Mumbo? It's the only solution there is."
"...It shouldn't be."
"It still is. And you can never escape that reality. All happiness is paid in blood."
"..."
He runs off. He hears her shout. He doesn't turn back.
She wants him to hurt Grian. He doesn't want to hurt Grian.
He doesn't want to hurt anyone.
Hiding in his room is fun. In here, he won't be able to hurt anyone. He'll just stay here until--
REMINDER: Scheduled visit with: Ren
...oh, right. He promised Ren he'd visit him today.
He's protected, right? So no matter what, he wouldn't hurt him?
...Okay, he'll go.
He walks over to Ren's medical room, but it feels much more tiring today.
He opens the door, and waits for the first--
"Surprise!"
FINALLY, GOOD NEWS!
"REN! You're talking!"
"Yep, Doc said I can. As of today, vocal chords are all healed up. But I'm still stuck in bed, and with this thing."
Ren points to his now ever present neck brace.
"Void, It'll be a truly great day when that comes off."
"Yeah, I'd hate having one too...how long until it comes off?"
"Doc says it'll be gone for good in about a week and a half. Apparently, even with the highest concentration of healing and regeneration potions possible, healing a broken neck takes a while."
"That makes sense, you want it done right."
"I'm just glad it's almost gone! Reminds me of a Cone of Shame, and void knows I do not want anything even slightly--"
Ren keeps talking. He knows he's talking about something, and he's trying to listen, but it's suddenly...hard. Everything feels hard to do now, and he doesn't know why, but it really really--
"...Mumbo? Mumbo? You there?"
"Oh! Uh, y-yeah, I’m fine."
"...Are you sure, dude? You look paler than normal. Have you been eating at all?"
"Of course I have! I'm definitely eating redstone, that's what I do!"
He has to lie. People shouldn't care about him. He'd only hurt them like he hurt everyone else.
"...You're not a good liar, Mumbo."
"...but..."
"If you really need something to eat, I can donate a pint, and you can--"
"NO! No, I-I’ll just hurt you!"
"Mumbo, it all goes into a blood bag that you can then drink with a straw, you wouldn't be directly drinking from me."
"I DON'T DESERVE IT!"
He stares at him, Ren's eyes showing shock and sadness.
"Mumbo, you do. Everyone needs to eat."
"I don't. All I've ever done is hurt people and make them sad and...and...and..."
Everything fades out. It fades in. It fades out. It fades in. Everything starts spinning and--
He wakes up to the sounds of beeping.
He's in a bed. In a room he doesn't recognize. Again.
But now there's a needle in his arm.
"...are you awake?"
...Is that...
"...dad...?"
"Hey. Feeling any better? Doc pumped some blood into you."
"...blood...?"
"Mhm. False offered to donate first."
"...but...blood bad..."
"Mumbo. You have to drink blood or you die. And dying is bad."
"...hurt people..."
"You haven't hurt anyone. She offered. The only person you've been hurting is yourself. And you're still not medically cleared, you know. You shouldn't have been running around all day."
...dad's right. He needed rest...but he felt like he had to be there.
"...okay..."
"...other people have been offering to donate blood, because I know you won't drink from someone's arm. Doc, Zedaph, maybe Ren after a day or two, and...well, Jimmy offered, but that's never going to be allowed right now. I'd donate mine, but...I'm not sure about the risks with that."
"...cause of Voidwalker stuff?"
"Exactly. It might have some negative effects on you."
Considering everything dad has said, it's reasonable to trust him on this one.
"...okay...will I have to be here long?"
"Just until you get your energy back."
"...What about you?"
It's hard not to notice dad’s eyebags.
"...I've still got some more work to do. I'm fine."
"Please get some sleep, dad."
"When I'm done. You should too, you know. You did a lot today."
"...I did?"
"Yeah. And no one would have blamed you if you just went to sleep after everything with Jimmy."
"...should I sleep now?"
"Yeah. Might be a good idea."
"...okay. Night dad."
...He's not a bad person.
If he was, dad, Zedaph, False, Doc, Ren and Jimmy wouldn't be offering to help him in the first place. The fact that they're going to these lengths to help him, to donate blood...that means everything. He knows it might take him a long while to internalize it, but they love them. And as he drifts off to sleep, for the first time in weeks...he's happy.
Chapter 5: listen
Summary:
Scott didn't choose this life. But here he is, in it. Tasked to make Gem win.
Something else gets his attention.
Notes:
I expect divided reactions. I look forward to them.
(Cleo and Lizzie dialogue written by Alyssaromantic!)
TWs: Murder, manipulation, self-possession, anger from authority figures, self-hatred, faking someone's death
Chapter Text
...he did the right thing.
He had to do it. Jimmy would have died in there. He couldn’t let him keep suffering like that.
Sure, he may have manipulated so many people, but it was worth it to save him.
She can handle it. She already remembers.
And he knew that before. He didn't know he knew.
Okay, this is...weird.
Possessing your own body, very fun! Doesn’t give a guy a crisis at all!
Maybe that’s why they seemed so apprehensive about it, knowing this would happen.
Anyway, time for a lay of the land. He knows that he can trust Grian and Skizz in a pinch, he did talk to both of them after getting approval to do...this. And they informed him that Lizzie and Mumbo are in the know, so he can talk to them if absolutely necessary. And, of course, his job. Making her win.
He doesn’t know why they think it’ll break the game, but hey, if it works.
And B is the only person he can’t trust, considering...everything in his head.
He glances at the guy and it's a giant mismatch of creepiness and cult behavior.
Gods, he wishes he could turn it off. He wishes he could just be normal again.
Because now he has to look over--
...hold on. Hold the fuck on.
Jimmy shouldn’t know that. Jimmy shouldn’t know any of that.
He digs deeper...and doesn’t like any of what he sees or hears. What he experienced in there...dear gods. He might want to try and forget about it later.
Wait, do they know about this? They have to keep him safe too!
"Excuse me!"
”Scott, what is it now?"
"It's Jimmy, he's--"
"Yes. We know."
"...you know?"
"We always know these things."
"Then why haven't you pulled him out? He's suffered in that...cage thing!"
"We can and will pull him out if there is a risk of permadeath."
"How is everything that has already happened not a risk of permadeath?"
"We do not believe he will actually attempt such a rash action. If he truly does, we will stop him."
"No! We need to do more, it's not--"
"It has already been settled by stations above you. Continue your mission. She must win."
"But--"
They're gone.
They don't really care about Jimmy, then. Guess he'll have to help him all by himself.
And that's when it began. Sure, he's still going to try and get Gem to win, but he also was going to get Jimmy free of the curse. By any means necessary.
It starts with simply leading people away from him when he can, and letting others make the mistakes. Martyn was first on red, after all.
But because nothing good can ever happen to anyone in these forsaken games, Jimmy gets down to red moments later, and the risk begins to appear.
So he puts his plan into action.
Who would everyone trust? It can’t be him, that would give himself away, and whoever it ends up being has to have some form of plausible deniability. Skizz would be a good last minute option if he can't think of anyone else, but he doesn't want to add anything else to his already growing list of responsibilities.
As he passes Cleo, he wonders--Wait. Cleo! That's who!
As far as he knows, nobody hates them, and everyone, at minimum, respects them. Plus, nobody’s gotten her in the know before, so she has all the deniability needed.
Now all that's needed is to talk.
"Hey, Cleo? Can we talk quickly?"
She turns over to him, quickly returning her task book to their side.
"Hey. I'm hoping it's you giving me a hint about my task?"
Seriously, what the hell is it...I've been trying things for forever now...
"Sorry, can't do that. I do need you to do something for me, though. Not a task."
She crosses her arms at him, sighing lightly.
"I have a feeling you're just trying to make me work for your own...but sure, I'll do it. What do you need?"
"I need you to hold a funeral for Jimmy."
...excuse me? He...he isn't even dead!
"Haha...that's a pretty morbid task, dude! Sorry you got it..."
Is Scott trying to kill him? Shit...I should warn him--
"This isn't to kill Jimmy. This is to save him."
Suddenly, they begin to stare at him in complete and utter shock.
...how did he know that?
"...Scott. What the fuck is going on here?"
"...I'm going to tell you the truth. You might not believe me."
...alright, rule of secrets. If they ever say that you won't believe them, then it's completely true. Oh fucking void.
"...I'll try. Go ahead."
"...This is not the first time. This is the fifth. They trapped us here for their own amusement, forcing us to redo death games. And every single time, they've taken out Jimmy first, then tortured him until the next game began."
...they're thinking too fast to get a proper read on their thoughts. But thankfully, she still seems up for responding.
"You said...you said we're trapped. Where are we meant to be?"
"It's called Hermitcraft. That's your home."
"...then...why am I not there? Why are we here?"
"Because you were kidnapped."
Cleo tenses at that, eyes gazing down as her hands clench into fists. Their thoughts are still practically unreadable.
"...look. Why the fuck would the funeral help? He isn't even dead yet."
"Our captors expect him to be. With a convincing enough funeral, we can trick them."
"...okay. But what if he still somehow ends up dead on his own?"
"I can make sure he doesn't."
She seems kind of concerned and hesitant at that answer, but...doesn't push.
"I'll get everything set up. You should still attend though, make sure it isn't suspicious."
"I will. Thank you."
The Watchers won't even know what hit them.
Now, for an extra ask:
"Hello?"
"Hello Scott. Do you need anything?"
"Actually, I do. Gem's been getting a lot of hard tasks lately, so I want to try and make them easier."
"Understood. We will make that information known to you promptly."
"Thanks, that’s all I needed."
"Okay, Scott. Have a good day."
Perfect. Now he has a second plan. This has to ensure his safety.
The funeral went...okay. People were confused, of course, but everyone played along. And that little extra task he added made sure they would continue to play along until Jimmy was free.
If someone was ever going to die before he was.
So maybe he has to take matters into his own hands then. Maybe he has to do what nobody else has the guts to do...
Maybe...maybe he...he...
Okay, what in the hell has been happening to Gem?
She opens a portal here once, and now one of her eyes is messed up and she's making these weird noises.
He asked his superiors about it, and apparently they don't know either, so that's just great.
So now he's taken it upon himself to figure out what the hell happened, and if he can fix it somehow. He's hoping to gods it's not--
"Hi Scott!"
Oh, someone else.
"Hi Lizzie."
"So, what are you doing down there?"
"People have been chasing me all day, so I'm trying to hide."
"Ah, makes sense! He'll never find you here, nobody is ever gonna find you here!"
"...why did you say it like that?"
"Say it like what?"
"Is this about the Joel thing? I already guessed, Lizzie."
"Oh, sorry!"
Phew! Now I don't have to kill him!
"Guessing you followed me down here for the task, then?"
"Yeah, just wanted to do something nice for Joel."
...if only you knew about everything...even if someone other than Mumbo or Gem did, it would be nice...
...what she doesn't know won't hurt her, and him being here could hurt a lot of people if they ever found out.
"Well in that case, can you please tell everyone he asked to stop hunting me?"
"I'll try!"
Well, I'll have to tell Jimmy once the task ends. I don't know why they gave us that anyway...trying to get him to die on his own, maybe? But that wouldn't make any sense...
...nobody else has died yet. Of course nobody has. Why does it feel like everything can never go--
"AHH!"
ENDERMAN!
He brandishes his sword, and slices the weird, lanky creature in twain.
It despawns, and for a moment, there is nothing but the sound of Lizzie breathing.
He...he saved me! Thank void...dang, what a hero...now I feel bad...
"Are you okay? That Enderman almost threw you off!"
...brain, no, be quiet. There is no need for that level of desperation.
"Y-yeah...gosh, that was terrifying! Umm...yeah, maybe we should go home now!"
"...can I ask you something?"
She pauses for a moment, before turning towards him.
"Oh, yeah! What's up?"
Hopefully he isn't mad about me coming here to kill him...
"...If you had a chance to save someone, but you had to sacrifice your own life in the process, would you do it?"
Huh...that's a good question. Not sure why he asked it, though...
"Well, like everything, it depends on the context. Like, for Joel? I'd do it in a heartbeat. But for others...I guess it depends what I'd be saving them from."
"From torture."
She taps her foot quietly, and he knows that she's contemplating her answer.
Hmm...well, what about the kind of torture? Would it break them completely? Could they still be helped afterwards? Could anyone else save them by doing something other than self-sacrifice...?
"...I don't know. How bad's the torture? Can anyone else help them?"
"They are being trapped and dehumanized by an evil, evil, group, who will surely kill him."
...wait. This sounds way too similar.
"...Scott? Is...is this actually happening?"
"...yes. It is."
Okay, I'm gonna need some more info on this.
"...if you know, I'll help you. If you tell me what's going on."
"...It's Jimmy. He will always die first, a canary in a coal mine, and then is forced to be awake in the void, trapped inside a gilded cage."
"Holy shit...so what are you going to do?"
...how does he even know this?
"...I don't know. I just want him to be free."
She stares at him for a moment.
"...are you going to kill yourself?"
"I would if I could. I can't be the one that's cursed."
"What do you mean? Would...would dying curse you?"
"Someone would have to take the curse from him. If he doesn't die first, he's no longer a canary in a coal mine."
...so that's why he asked me...
"Okay...okay. Just...give me a moment to think."
"I will. Thank you."
He stands there, waiting. And waiting. And it continues on.
She's going to say no, isn't she?
She'll say no, and he'll be trapped there forever and die unhappy. He'll have failed to protect him. And let them all down.
He has to do this. He has to save Jimmy from him. He has to.
There is no time to waste. He places his hands on her side.
"Huh? Do you--"
--and pushes her off.
She falls. Her scream still manages to pierce its way up to him.
"SCOTT--"
An ender pearl flies up, trying to reach the end floor, but instead breaks uselessly on the side of the island.
Soon, she disappears out of view. Surely to be swallowed up and consumed by the void.
He stands there, trying to comprehend what he has done.
And flees from the scene of his unforgivable act.
...he killed her.
Joel is in pain. The ones who remember don't know how to react other than some congratulatory remarks.
And Jimmy himself...he wonders if the poor guy knows what happened.
This isn't what he wanted. Jimmy was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be free.
Instead, there is a silence of unease. One that would disturb even the most hardened of individuals.
Until hell breaks loose, that is.
A Warden and a Wither wreak havoc on the players. He runs as far away as he can.
Away from the death message showing that this might have all been for nothing.
And time stops.
"What did you do?"
".. .did you--"
"No. Now answer us. What did you do?"
"...I...I couldn't let him--"
"So you doomed another player to take his place?"
"..."
"We already told you. If there was ever a risk of permadeath, we would pull him out immediately. But now, our hand has been forced."
"...but I..."
"Not by you. By Mr. Goodtimes."
...Scar?
"Someone gave him powers beyond what he should normally have, and he has awoken the bodies of both James Solidarity, and Mumbo Jumbo."
"I-I don't think Jimmy's short for James."
"Regardless, you are to meet him at these exact coordinates, and bring them to the ship we have been communicating with for the past while."
"O-okay. Will Jimmy be safe?"
"We can only hope. Corruption will strike fast once he is out of the Watchers' domain, but if anyone can stop his code from rotting, it's Xisumavoid."
"Alright, I'll go over there now, then--"
"And once you return to the game, no more personal business. You have one mission, and that is to make Gem win. You will not stray unless told to. Understood?"
"...Understood."
"Good. You can go now."
...He doesn't like taking directions. He feels...wrong, when he does. Like something deep inside him wants to scream out and say no every single time.
And he doesn't know why.
At least Jimmy will finally be free. That's more than he'll ever have. And it's worth it.
...it's worth it.
Chapter 6: dad
Summary:
Xisumavoid. Xisuma for short. Shashwammy to Keralis. X-eye-sooma-void to friends. Dad, to a certain few.
And of course, to himself...one that he would have preferred to stay unsaid.
Notes:
TWs: Psychotic episode/relapse, hallucinations and flashbacks, severe paranoia, caffeine addiction, SEVERE sleep deprivation, unreliable narrator, guns, extreme anger, talk of war/flashbacks to war, discussion of overdose, lying about health, homicidal thoughts, fights, suicidal ideation/actions, dissociation, interrogation, discussion of disability, implied past severe isolation
Yeah, umm...Dead Dove: Do Not Eat on this one. Xisuma's mind is...not a pleasant place right now.
This is the last chapter that BagOfGroceries worked on me with before I found out what he had done. The last thing he ever wrote for this series is in bold. If you do not know what happened, please read the first fic in the series list for context. I apologize for the wait, and I hope you enjoy reading. Next fic out will be a one-shot, and then we'll be back to TMTSTS(AM)!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Three weeks, four days, 14 hours and 32 minutes since the moon crashed into the server.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Two weeks, six days, 2 hours and 15 minutes since they were contacted by people that he currently has half a mind to strangle to death.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
One week, two days, 20 hours and 49 minutes since Ren crashed into their section of the Void, and he finally got to say that he at least saved one of them.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Three days, 7 hours and 22 minutes since Jimmy and Mumbo escaped their prison, and Gem stopped responding to any attempts to wake her up.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
...and 13 hours and 17 minutes since pulling Scar into emergency code repair.
...despite the intense time keeping, he still can't tell whether it's morning or night in the overworld.
It's not like he cares. Another dose of air is good no matter the time, really.
Well...his brother would disagree, but as of the current moment, he doesn't really have the luxury of entertaining his opinions.
...oh. A page from Doc. Must be time to switch observation shifts.
It's good that it's just the two of them. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Cub had to see Scar like this, even if he is part of the medical staff.
He pulls himself up from his desk with a groan. His hands have been shaking more lately, but it's not a sign that he finally needs to sleep. Just a sign that he needs to take another dose in a few hours.
Slowly but surely, he forces himself towards the door, locking it behind him and continuing on his way.
There is one stop that has to be made on the way, though. He quickly rounds the corner, knocking on the door of one of the guest rooms.
Well, it's become a bit of a hospital room at the moment, but it should look much more friendly once he's stable enough for them to remove the IVs...hopefully.
...no response. He sighs, pushing open the door, and--
...oh.
Jimmy's sleeping in his hospital bed as usual, but...clearly, he's been tossing and turning during the night. And Mumbo's doing the same on the couch he ordered to be put in for visitors that want to stay with him through the evening.
...neither of them wanted to deal with it alone. That's...a good thing. They shouldn't be alone during a time like this.
...he just hopes that Keralis broke the news to them as kindly as he could.
He closes the door to their room as quietly as he can, and then continues on his way.
As soon as he opens the door, he makes sure to be looking towards where Doc is. He...he'll look at his kid once he has confirmation that he's okay.
But...void, Doc does not look good at the moment. Heavy eyebags...and he can see that he's definitely taken advantage of his own recipe for coffee.
The air would be much better for this situation, but it, uhh...it tends to be a bit too effective for creeper-hybrids. The size of the explosion would be impressive, if they weren't currently in the void. It's...not exactly good to have holes in a void ship.
...he's getting distracted. He just needs to suck it up and get the question over with.
"...how is he?"
"Stabilizing. Still a lot of work to do."
"I know you're not a code doctor, and I'm sorry for asking you to analyze it...but did you find any problems that I haven't already?"
"Nein. Everything seems to already be accounted for."
"...did he wake up while you were here?"
"He has not. Is there a problem with him--"
All of a sudden, he shifts slightly. He clearly tries to move his head for a moment, but then quickly winces. They've repaired the breakage, yeah, but everything is likely still sore as hell for being in the wrong positions for that amount of time.
...he's also questioning why that wince was almost entirely comprised of static, but there are different questions for different times.
"...Scar? Ryan? Can you hear us?"
Sometimes he responds better to Ryan whenever he wakes up in a hospital, so it's best to call him both in places like these just in case. He can see Doc raise his eyebrows at it for a moment, but then shake his head, likely having remembered the situation that they're currently in.
"Scar? I don't know how well you're able to comprehend us right now, but you need to rest. There's still some things--"
"...where--"
"--grab your non-dominant hand. Scan for the toughest object you can find while pushing your fingers up. Bite your cheek to muffle any screaming. Immediately slam the back side of your hand against--"
"-XISUMA! WAS ZUM TEUFEL HAST DU GETAN--"
Something grabs something grabs something's trying to take him, something's trying to take him he won't let it he won't let it HE WON'T LET THEM--
...drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.
...something pulls away. There's dripping...his hand feels...wet?
His eyes focus slightly. Red on the floor...red...is it from the scar again? EX will be sad about having to clean the floor...maybe he shouldn't tell him this time...?
"BROTHER!"
...huh? What...when did--
"Doc texted me. You shouldn't be biting people, okay? He was concerned for you, that's all. We probably need to fix up your hand."
Biting? No, he...he got rid of the threat...when was there a threat? There's...there's only his Hermits here. And he...he...
He finally looks up from the slowly forming puddle of red liquid, spotting Doc trying to disinfect a section of his arm. It's completely covered in blood.
...his teeth are complaining. Did...did he hit bone?
...wait, Scar--
He instantly turns himself back towards him. Scar...keeping his eyes completely shut, breathing heavily, shaking like a leaf in his bed.
...fuck. Fuck. He shoves himself back to standing, teleporting over a pair of long unused headphones.
Normally, he'd use them as a multi-language translator. But this thing only conveys the words, while it removes the actual tone and voice of everything. And if that's what's causing Scar to do what he is...
"S-Scar, it's okay, it's okay--"
"...no zombie. No zombie. No zombie. No--"
"...I'll take care of the zombie, Scar."
"Damn it, Doc--"
He rushes over to him, shoving him over towards the pile of plushies (having people fall on a hard floor after being punched is extremely unsafe, and he doesn't want Doc to be complaining about neck pain after he respawns) and clocking him in the face with his right hand. It doesn't matter that all of the fingers in his left are crushed. You only need one to kill stop a man dead in his tracks.
"...EX, we should probably get--"
"...n-no zombie..."
...fuck.
He rushes over to him, kicking him in the knee and attempting to shove him down. It doesn't take long for EX to punch him in the face though, and void fucking damn it, why did it have to be his forehead!?
He feels the memory of fights like this before creeping in, but he pushes them all to the sidelines. He could win if he gouged his eyes out, yeah, but he can't! He's not going to fucking do that to his brother!
His head's spinning too much from it now. He...he's on the floor, isn't he? He just needs to pull himself up--
His brother wraps his hands around his throat, andandandandandandPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHKICKGRABGRABGRABGRAB--
"STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP--"
...vacantly, he lets go. Pulls his hands away, lets them rest.
...shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit no no he didn't no no no no no no--
...his brother's on the ground, hand protectively around his now free neck. Doc is still completely unconscious. And Scar...
"...sorry...sorry...s-sorry...sorry...sorry..."
"...ugggghhhhhh..."
what have you done. what have you done. what have you done. what have you done.
"...bro...ther?"
what have you done. what have you done. what have you done WHAT HAVE YOU DONE--
He likes this room of the ship. It's his. He's not the only one with a key (his brother has one for his own reasons), but he's the only one that ever really uses it. It would break their privacy otherwise.
And here, there's so many fragile things. Breakable things.
He doesn't need to think about the fact that he's currently stomping an extremely old computer terminal under his boots, because he just can.
He can be what he really is up here. A monster. The monster.
Everything dies under his touch. Old boards, Training dummies (he hears their screams, and they sound like music). Shards of failed pottery that someone tried to teach him long ago...but he was never really good at it. How can you be good at making things with hands designed for killing?
Even this server isn't his...maybe that's the reason it lasted so long before he let it be destroyed. It forgot that Generik wasn't the one pulling the strings for a while...and then it remembered. And now...now, they're all gone.
...and yet again, it's all because of the monster. Because...because...because of...
...he's still so pathetic. Too scared to even say the word that he knows to be the truth. Even with the souls of his victims all crowding around him, clearly expecting the answer they all know to be reality...he still can't say it.
But...he hurt him. He hurt the only thing in the universe that he thought he'd never be able to break.
(The voices laugh. Why did he ever think he wouldn't?)
Even if his brain screamed at him to destroy everything, ruin everything, he always thought that he was the one being in the world that he could always manage to help instead of hurt.
...it's such a shame, really. EX should have snapped his neck in those precious few seconds. After all, he's the only person in the universe other than him that knew who he was really fighting.
...maybe he needs a reminder, then. The crowding souls of the dead all seem to agree.
Suddenly, he kicks over a rage room shelf. Bats, swords, and a newly made pile of fresh blood all spill out.
...oh. Right. He's not supposed to hurt the things right next to the walls. They're for storage. And besides, making something bleed is rude.
...but if he's already broken the one rule he thought he'd always keep, then what's the point, really?
...it doesn't matter anymore. He slams his foot onto a bat, throws another towards a broken flat screen. It shatters the moment contact is made, skull fragments beneath his shoes, but he's not done with it yet.
He rushes over to the newly made pieces of bone, jumping on them over and over and over and over--
He's not sure when he went from doing that to stabbing a thrown out couch with a sword, but why should he care?! EVERYTHING'S FUCKED! EVERYONE'S GONE!
He probably just traumatized his own son into never speaking again! He might have even made his brother's breathing issues worse! What if this kills him a day from now? A week? What if he--
He kicks a safe over. A lock pops, and something spills out. He--
Oh.
...oh.
When...
...when did he get this bad?
...when did he--
"SHASHWAMMY!"
He hits the floor. It's padded like the walls, so it's really not that bad, but--
...K...oh...oh shit, K is crying...h-how did he even--
He doesn't get the chance to ask. He's just in a hug.
...his right hand starts to sting, and he begins to recognize what he actually just did.
"Why...why, Shashwammy, why--"
"...I...I just grabbed it...I--"
"THAT ISN'T JUST GRABBING IT, X!"
...yeah...yeah, it's...it's not, is it?
He...Keralis ends up leaning him onto his shoulder. It probably looks ridiculous, given how short he is compared to someone of his species, but...it's not funny right now. He's...
"...you...you can't tell him--"
"...Shashwammy, that isn't something I'm supposed to just--"
"I choked EX."
Keralis' breath abruptly stops.
"...you...you what--"
"If you tell him, he's going to think it's him. Please."
...his breath takes a few moments to resume. He simply sits there. Waiting.
"...okay. Okay. But I'm not just forgetting about this--"
"I know. I...I know you won't."
"...okay."
Almost on cue, Keralis' voice shifts from horrified to quiet and caring. He's...he's too good at that, really.
"Try...try to sleep, okay?"
He shakes his head.
"I...I can't. P-physically, I can't."
And only half of that is the caffeinated air running through his system. The other...the nightmares would be too severe. Especially after this.
K seems concerned at that for a moment, but soon seems like he hit a realization. Probably understanding what he's thinking, hopefully?
"...okay. So just lean on me, okay? Until Doc doesn't have a headache anymore and can fix your hand."
Oh...oh right, that thing is broken...he's such an idiot, really forgetting the simplest of things...
...slowly, he closes his eyes. Sleep never comes, just like he knows it won't...but he still ends up feeling...floaty. Far away.
He...he isn't here right now, and maybe that's a good thing. Right?
...yeah...probably...
...mmm...why doesn't his hand feel floaty? Hey...why is he...
...he opens his eyes. There's something being wrapped...gauze?
Someone's...oh. K is laughing?
"Come on Doc, you woke him up!"
He has half a mind to correct him that he was never asleep, but...that would make Keralis worry more. So he'll just let him think that he passed out. Better for everyone that way.
"Xisuma, can you please not bite me again? That was incredibly concerning."
He'd reckon that pointing a gun towards yourself is more concerning, but he sure as hell isn't going to say that.
"...it's not my fault that I have sharp teeth. Blame genetics."
"All the more reason for you to no longer bite people."
He shakes his head at him. He would if he could, but..
"...where is EX?"
"Oh, he's outside. Would you like him to come in?"
He's about to give an answer, but Keralis beats him to the punch.
"Actually, me and X have something to talk about...how about you two go back to X's office and we meet you there?"
Doc pauses. He looks at Keralis for a bit, almost in disbelief.
"...are you sure?"
"Yup! So how about you mosey on out of here, and me and him can have a quick little chat!"
"...Okay. We'll see you two later, then."
The door shuts behind him as he exits. Keralis giggles, and in an instant he knows that he is screwed.
"So! The Keralis safety plan is now active!"
He rolls his eyes, waiting for his (very annoying) punishment to finally be handed down...
"I'm taking all of your guns! Cause I know you store them all here. I won't take your key for this room, cause I know it's how you take your anger out and I don't want you to lose a coping mechanism, but I'm at least getting rid of the swords. Okay?"
Oh.
"...and...that's all? Just some of the stuff here?"
"Yup! I know this place is still good for you, so I'm not going to get rid of it while the situation is this bad."
"Oh...umm...thank you."
Right. He had almost forgotten that Keralis was never informed.
But really, now? It's the best situation possible for him.
"...can I go to the office alone? I...I need to face him myself."
"Oh...yeah. I need to pack this stuff up in my room anyways, so sure! Don't worry, I won't try playing with any of your stuff..."
"Good, I wouldn't recommend it. Half of those things have at least one piece of Ancient tech in their parts."
"Understood! I'll try not to blow myself up!"
Keralis helps him up from where they were sitting together, opening the door for him and handing him back his keys.
"Had to use them to let them in--"
"I know. It's okay. Thank you."
"...okay. Just...be safe, okay Shashwammy?"
He sighs. He...he'd promise that if he didn't think it was a lie, but...unfortunately, he doesn't live in that world right now.
"...I'll try. Thank you."
The door clicks shut behind him.
...the walk to his office is...considering the situation, kind of terrifying. But, yet again...it's not like he really has a choice. They'll need to talk eventually, right?
...it's weird to be knocking on the door of his own office, but it...definitely feels like the respectful thing right now, so...
"...Doc? Are you--"
And--that's a hug. That's a hug...fuck.
"...brother..."
EX sounds...terrible. Not from being choked, like what he feared, but...probably from his own personal hell at the moment.
"∴⍑||...∴⍑|| ↸╎↸ ||𝙹⚍--" (Why...why did you--)
"...ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸リ’ℸ ̣ ᓭℸ ̣𝙹!¡..." (...couldn’t stop...)
"||𝙹⚍...↸╎↸ ||𝙹⚍ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リꖌ ╎ ∴ᔑᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ----" (You...did you think I was the--)
His brother places his hand over where his mouth...approximately is. It's somehow still enough to shut him up.
"リ𝙹, ʖ∷𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷. リᒷ⍊ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣."(No, brother. Never that.)
"...||𝙹⚍ ∴ᒷ∷ᒷ ᔑᓵℸ ̣ ╎リ⊣ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ∴ᒷ∷ᒷ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ⎓╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ╎リ⊣ ᔑリ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ ᓭ𝙹ꖎ↸╎ᒷ∷..." (...you were acting like you were just fighting another soldier--)
He barely has time to finish the sentence before EX jumps into it, voice shaking a little bit more than it reasonably should be.
"リ𝙹--リ𝙹. ∴ᒷ’∷ᒷ ʖ∷𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ᓭ. !¡ᒷ∷╎𝙹↸." (No--no. We're brothers. Period.)
".. .what are you guys even talking about?"
"None of your business, Doc."
He thinks about commenting on it, but...really, wouldn't it just be silly to do that? His brother is simply stating facts. They're brothers.
...yeah. Yeah, there's no need to worry about that. That's...that's good.
"ᓭℸ ̣ ╎ꖎꖎ...╎ℸ ̣ ᓭᓵᔑ∷ᒷ↸ ᒲᒷ." (Still...it scared me.)
"You always know I love you, right?"
He nods. After all, why wouldn't he? He's his brother, and he's always been upfront and supported him through everything. He'd never lie about saying I love you. And after everything that's happened in his life...that's about the closest thing he can get to trust.
Their talk goes alright, after that. Doc pretty much tells them not to do that shit again, and that he and EX need copies of Xisuma's headphones whenever they go inside Scar's room from this point out.
That's fine. He knows a good few glitches for duplication out there, and they sure as hell all work out in the Void. In servers are where you risk them having code to prevent them from happening.
But eventually, their conversation ends. Doc has to go make sure Scar didn't wake up while he was out, and EX...clearly needs space. And eventually, he's alone.
And finally, he allows himself a nice sigh of relief as he opens up yet another drawer in his office.
He could never let himself be completely defenseless. Not with the Watchers and the Listeners and whatever monsters they'll end up facing next. Keralis means well, and he knows that, but he'd never let anything be the reason he didn't have something to defend his kids with if it came down to it.
So...it's a really good thing that Keralis never found out about the office pistol.
He's through yet another round of caffeinated air when he gets a knock on his door. One he expected, honestly.
"The Watcher is awake. You can probably get some answers out of it now."
The tone is...concerning, coming out of False's mouth, but it's not something he really blames her for. She's probably been seeing a lot of similarities.
"Did Cub say they were stable?"
"Yeah. Kinda disturbing, but...stable."
"Alright. Take a break, okay? You've been working a lot."
False pauses at that. He pretends not to notice.
"...ooooookay then. See ya, dad."
He opens the door to his office, quietly passing by her on his way out. It seems he was correct. The bags under her eyes have become much more noticeable.
He continues to walk, eventually ending up at one of their guest cabins. Well...normally it would just be a standard bedroom, but like Scar's room and Jimmy's guest room, it's been specialized with a lot of medical equipment put in. The amount in this room is much less than the other ones due to their general stability, but it's still something of note.
He knocks a couple of times before speaking.
"Cub, you can rest now. I'm beginning my questioning."
The door opens quickly, Cub staring at him with worried, desperate eyes. It doesn't take him any more than a second to understand why.
"Scar's okay, but you can't see him right now. Okay? Go."
A shaky exhale sounds as Cub stumbles out of the room, clearly on his way to try and pass out as quickly as possible. He wishes he could walk him back to his room and make sure he won't fall over, but...well...there's someone else to attend to.
He turns. Many eyes stare back. He notes a couple of things about them. Dark skin, slightly ragged clothes, the way their staring is clearly an attempt to intimidate him...but of course, that's usually a fear response from terrified people.
"...state your name for the record, please."
"...why should I?"
They're still using the usual tone of the Watchers, but they're clearly experienced enough to both be speaking in English and without using any kind of rhyme. Good to note.
"Because you are in a very precarious position. And I do trust Skizz quite well, and I trust that what he sees in people is accurate, but the Hermits are not one to blindly hold faith in what me or him say. So if you don't start acting like you're on our side, I can guarantee you that they'll start asking if you should just be left on your own."
They tense heavily at that. It's to be expected, given what situation caused the Watcher to end up with them. But at least it's something he can use to make them a little bit more cooperative.
"...B. Byztek. It doesn't matter which one."
He pulls up a code screen and starts jotting down some notes. He knows B can see it, but that isn't a problem, given that he's just writing what they've already been discussing.
"I'll just be using B...pronouns?"
"...th--he is fine."
It isn't hard to notice the sudden snap in wording, but he knows bringing it up will not help either of them. So, he continues.
"Skizz told me they want you dead because you stopped them from killing Ren."
"That...is accurate, yes."
"...is it wrong of me to assume that you may know something about why Ren didn't end up in the Deep Void, like they had planned?"
He tenses yet again. Bullseye.
"I...may have had a hand in that, yes."
"Good. I can use that to help advocate for you."
B seems...confused. Did he think that was going to be used against him somehow? He makes another note of that.
"Do I have your consent to look through your code?"
"What."
"I want to look through your code and make sure that there is nothing medically wrong with you. Plus, I can try to see if they might have changed anything about you before you escaped."
"I...think they did? Skizz...took care of that though."
"Ah. Just medical, then. So?"
He still seems...confused at the question. He likely hasn't been asked to give permission in quite a long time. Another thing to work on.
"...okay."
He nods, saving his notes before pulling open B's code. The screen floats in the air, waiting to be combed through.
"Don't worry, I'll let you see too."
"You do not 'let' us see anything--"
He barely pays attention to B's incoming rant, scrolling across details and information. Most of the stuff he expected to be corrupted beyond repair definitely is, but eventually...he pauses at something.
"Huh. Your respawn code is quite unusual."
"Of course. I had to be given a temporary version of it as a blending in measure. I'd still need to have multiple lives in the game, just like everyone else."
He begins fiddling around with it, trying to make sure it actually had an infinite amount of uses and that he wouldn't have to knock him out to insert his own version. Still, though...the thought comes into his mind.
"And it's never glitched? Never?"
"Of course not. Our ability in manipulating code is second to none."
"Still. If a Player with respawn code gets it corrupted badly enough to require a transplant, that's not something they can just have replaced with no consequences. It always bugs out because their code is always looking for the original, and never truly adjusts to the new version."
"...your point?"
"My point is, the only circumstance in which someone can have new respawn code inserted into themselves as many times as they want and suffer no drawbacks is when they were created without any in the first place."
B freezes up immediately, and he knows he's gotten somewhere. Maybe even somewhere that the Watcher doesn't even recall himself.
"So, I am asking...did you need to have respawn code inserted into yourself when you were born?"
They both stare at each other for a moment, saying nothing.
Suddenly, B takes control of the code screen, scrolling through rapidly. He lets it happen, letting him take them where they need to go.
It stops suddenly, at a history of when that particular section of code had been edited in the past. The original date, the time that presumably would have been his birth, is corrupted beyond recognition. It's to be expected.
The next edit is...about one hundred and sixty eight years ago.
"So I was right then. You are an old Watcher."
He looks towards the ground as he nods, saying nothing. When the realization hits him, he almost feels like doing the same thing.
That long ago...medical code hadn't advanced far enough for respawn transplants yet. They were still decades off from being able to do it without corrupting a Player beyond repair.
...well, it's mostly true. They knew. They'd done it to themselves without any incident, him and EX both. But it had been too much of a risk to share it, risking people realizing that they knew much more than they should, that there's no way anyone would be able to accumulate their amount of knowledge in the time Players had--
They couldn't risk it. And B and countless others had paid the price for that decision.
An apology courses through his lips before he even realizes what he's saying. B looks up at that.
"...for what?"
Oh. So they're speaking normally now.
...he sighs.
"...a lot of things."
B nods, continuing to scroll through code.
"I...thoughts are weird now. Feels like...forbidden knowledge, or something."
"That's to be expected. I'm...going to leave you alone for a bit, give you some time to process. Based on the way you've acted, I don't feel the need to assign you a guard."
He seems relieved at that. Privacy for B, and an escape from this conversation for him. In the end, they both win.
"Uhh...alright. Will you be back?"
"Later, yes. And I'm also guessing you'll want to visit Jimmy soon, given how both of you were in Evo."
Pearl gave him the full list of Players in that server sometime after she crash landed, hoping it would help Grian with his memory. Neither of them had suspected that one of them was a Watcher in disguise. Well, at least one of the Players that wasn't Taurtis.
"...thanks, but we...I don't know if he'll want to see me."
"Don't worry, I'll ask first. Text me on your comm if you need me."
He says nothing in response. Thankfully for both of them, he takes the hint and leaves.
He's angry at a lot of things. The world. The Watchers. Himself.
...he knows where he needs to go.
He's back in the room again. He came here himself. That, he knows.
How long...that's a different question.
...well, he's kept his count on how many bullets have entered the target on the wall. Three hundred and ninety two.
But time? His focus on the ticking in the background...kinda broke after the fight. So unfortunately...he's a bit lost, now.
His kids don't notice, or at least he thinks they haven't. Cleo's always been a bit suspicious, weirded out by his inaccurate guesses of things, the idea that something will go by much faster than it normally does. Keralis sets alarms for him and EX, reminds them that yes, schedules are a thing and that clocks are to be checked every once in a while.
But TFC? He understood. In the way that only lonely yet lonelier people could understand. He taught him things. Ways of counting to yourself. Setting internal alarms, forcing yourself out of bed...
...the ache keeps returning now. The one to simply tune out the world yet again, dissociate through the days until something snaps you awake from the haze.
It's not like he could. Those snaps are practically daily occurrences now, with constant new information about the situation, attempts to get his children out from the dark...
...he wonders if EX still feels it. He wonders if he's the uncommon one among the two.
They aren't alone anymore...they escaped that eternal damnation. But even still...it stays there. The months, years, decades, centuries...best left in the empty, to be forgotten by time.
...but he doesn't want to forget. If he forgot...then, really, no one would remember.
And maybe that would be an even more unforgivable sin than all the blood on his hands.
There's a knock. He pauses, looking towards the door. It's...probably exactly who he expects.
"I'm fine, brother. Just thinking."
"It didn't seem like nice thoughts."
"...no, not really."
"...want to come out? We could go make something to eat...when's the last time you did that, anyways?"
He's suddenly aware of just how much his stomach is aching. Another thing he learned to dissociate from long ago.
...damn his brother for knowing him a bit...too well, there.
"Alright. Coming."
He looks down at the pistol in his hand. The normal protocol is for him to return this to his office and then go do whatever other matters are concerning him.
But Keralis might be in the halls, so maybe it would be best to store it here? Where it...couldn't be used.
...
...
...
--and finally opens the door to the outside.
"Ready to go, brother?"
"Yeah...sorry for making you feel hungry."
"You're forgiven, you're forgiven...now come on! Before my stomach hurts more!"
EX runs off. He trails behind, softly touching his holster to make sure it stays secure.
The others will be free. His children will survive.
The weight of the unthinkable burns into his brain, and yet it somehow feels like the only sure thing.
Notes:
Apologies if things end up taking a bit longer to come out. We're really happy to finally be out of the wait though. See you all soon!
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