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As she walked up to the dean’s house to meet Sasuke, Naruto felt a little like she was committing a crime. Specifically, she felt like she had the night before Halloween her freshman year, when she and the guys from K-Delt had dressed up in all black as was apparently tradition and snuck out at midnight to TP this very house, the house Naruto had now been invited to for the very first time because Sasuke’s dad and brother were both away for the weekend on a fundraising trip. Even back then, everybody had known Sasuke. Naruto was pretty sure she remembered Choji and Shikamaru yelling for her at the window, drunk, and being shushed by everybody else before they could wake anybody up and get caught. Back at the house, they’d creep on her pictures on the university website, reading out lines from the blog post about her receiving the same academic scholarship her father had gotten when he was a student at their school, making every word sound dirty and double-meaning. “She’s like my dream girl,” Naruto would always say, groaning melodramatically to make her friends laugh and to distract them from some of the more icky stuff they were talking about. “I’m telling you guys, I seriously think she’s gay. Like the kind where maybe she won’t even realize it until she’s like forty. But she is.”
“That makes her even hotter,” Kiba or somebody would say, and Naruto would pretend to barf and kick whoever it was on the shin for their grossness.
She hated thinking about stuff like that now. She hated it back then, too, but at least it used to be that she could brush it off and feel like the only person she was making feel bad was herself, who didn’t matter. Now it wasn’t just her being stupid and pervy and selling out her “people” or whatever just to seem cool to her friends—it was her doing all that stuff just to seem cool at the expense of the best most awesome sexiest and secretly sweetest and most sensitive person she knew, the person who over the past three months had become not just her forever crush and insanely hot secret hookup but also basically her best friend. That was one reason Naruto rarely complained about Sasuke’s unshakeable rule that no one could ever know they were dating, even though it would have raised Naruto’s cred about ten million billion percent and she once would have given anything for people to know she could pull such a smart and hot chick. She just felt too guilty.
The door to the dean’s house was dark wood and heavy-looking. There was a black rectangular camera at the side of the door, its round eye staring out at her ominously. Naruto waved her hand in front of it, but it didn’t seem to respond. Instead of knocking, she pulled out her phone and texted Sasuke: at the door 😛
“Is that on?” she asked when the door opened. Sasuke glanced at the camera. Then, in the half-second it took for her to open her mouth and begin to say, “No, I turned it off,” Naruto actually took a real look at her.
“Whoa,” she said, feeling her eyes widening cartoonishly and out of her control. Sasuke smiled and stepped back, putting her arms behind her torso, letting Naruto look at her. She was in a short black silk dress with red embroidered flowers slinking up the side, a style that Naruto was pretty sure was not actually lingerie but definitely looked a lot like it. Her feet were in black strappy heels, her toes painted pale pink, and her hair was gently curled and framing her face. She looked like a model—okay, Sasuke always looked like a model, but this time she actually looked like a model who was, like, actually in the middle of modeling that very minute.
“You like it?” she asked sweetly. Naruto, who in her nicer pair of baggy Levis and a tank top not advertising any sportswear brands could maybe technically have been considered dressed up, giggled.
“I mean, you look hot as fuck,” she shrugged. “I’m a little like, where’d Sasuke go, but, you know.”
“What?” Sasuke stepped back again and folded her arms. The foyer where she stood was spacious and empty-feeling, two curved staircases on either side leading up to a balcony upstairs, the only decoration a dark blue rug that stretched across the floor and up the stairs. Sasuke looked tiny standing by herself in the big echoey entrance, like she was about to be swallowed. Naruto felt a pang of worry for her alone all the time in this house, a pang that was quickly overshadowed by Sasuke glaring daggers at her where she stood.
“I was just kidding,” said Naruto, shaking her head hastily. “I didn’t mean it like—you know, it’s just because you’re always like—”
“Always like what?”
“Just,” said Naruto, desperate. “I just know how it is with your dad and all, I didn’t want you to feel like you, like, had to dress up for me, like—”
“This is what people do, Naruto.” Sasuke glared past her head at the heavy door. “It’s a date. You’re supposed to try and look nice. It doesn’t have anything to do with my—with him. It’s normal.”
“Okay,” said Naruto, and looked at the ground. “Okay. Sorry.” She reached out to touch Sasuke’s arm. “Can we start over?” she asked. “Just ignore me. You look so pretty.”
“Thank you.” Sasuke smiled tensely at her for a moment, then stood on the toes of her heels to let Naruto kiss her, let her trace a warm hand down the thin silk against Sasuke’s skin to rest on the small of her back, wrapping her wrists delicately around Naruto’s neck while she did. When Naruto pulled back to smile at her, her face was pink. “Should we have a drink?” Sasuke asked. Her voice sounded very small.
“I can’t believe I’m in the dean’s house,” Naruto said as Sasuke walked her, her hand in Naruto’s, through the big hallway into the dining room, which was high-ceilinged with a big gold chandelier and a giant expensive-looking painting of a boat on one wall and was generally classy as hell. “I can’t believe you live here. It’s like visiting Dracula or something.” She leaned herself over the high back of one of the dining chairs. “Are you gonna suck my blood?”
Sasuke took a bottle of champagne out of an ice bucket on the table and handed it to Naruto. “Want to open it?”
“Ooh. Sexy.” Naruto ripped the foil off, letting it fall on the table, and yanked at the cork. It popped way easier than she’d expected, flew out of her hand in the wrong direction violently, shooting past the side of Sasuke’s head and against the wall with a bang. Sasuke shrieked and ducked, hands over her ears.
“Oh my God,” said Naruto, unable to control her hysterical nervous laughter. “Are you okay? Holy shit, that was like an inch from—”
“I could feel it going through my hair,” said Sasuke. “You almost took my eye out.” She was laughing too, her eyes wide and stunned, taking the hand Naruto was holding out to help her up.
“Jesus. Nice job, Naruto.” She shook her head. “Finally get with your dream girl and then practically disembowel her in her own house.”
“Stop it.” Sasuke nudged her with a hand, smiling. “Give me some wine.”
The bottle was still fizzing, overflowing out of the thin neck and onto the table. Naruto tipped it into the glasses, spilling more bubbles out of the flutes Sasuke was holding. “Sorry,” Naruto said, sucking the liquid off her wet fingers. “Is there a napkin?”
“I’ll get it later,” said Sasuke. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” said Naruto, clinking her glass against Sasuke’s. “To having both eyes.”
Sasuke shook her head. “Something else,” she said. “Don’t curse me.”
“How can you be so smart and so superstitious at the same time?” Naruto twirled her glass around in her fingers. “Okay. To fucking in Daddy’s house.” Sasuke smiled.
She’d ordered takeout from the really fancy Italian place downtown and put the food in her family’s decorative silver to serve it, a gesture so dorky and sincere that it made Naruto want to squeeze her into a super tight hug and make her squeak and wriggle away. Sasuke was so funny sometimes. Her clenched insistence at the door that “this is what people do” wasn’t exactly unfamiliar to Naruto by now; once Sasuke had decided that something was the correct way to act or feel, Naruto was learning, that decision then became one hundred percent rigid and unshakeable, even if Sasuke didn’t seem to want to follow it that much herself. This also led to Sasuke often acting like she believed that she had a much stronger grasp of social cues and normal behavior than Naruto did, despite the fact that Naruto was the one who actually had friends and, like, a social life, while Sasuke was regularly in the library at closing time on Saturday nights. Naruto didn’t say this to her, obviously. She didn’t make that much of an effort at defending her buddies from Sasuke’s disgusted dismissal of them, either, especially since she was kind of right (if way over-dramatic) about some of the stuff they said and did. Plus it was really sweet and touching how she insisted that Naruto deserved way more respect from anyone she’d “shared her body” with, another grandma-ish term that had made Naruto burst out laughing the first time she heard it and that Sasuke nevertheless continued to use with utmost seriousness.
“It’s not really like they’re not respectful,” Naruto always told her. “It’s just, like, not that big a deal.” But every time she tried to explain it, Sasuke didn’t seem to understand. They’d just grown up totally differently, was the thing. Naruto couldn’t help thinking about it that night, sitting in the darkly lit dining room with its stiff chairs and crystal chandelier and china cabinets, eating fancy food and drinking fancy champagne that seemed to float right through her and send her into tipsy reveries. For Sasuke everything in life had always been so heavy and meaningful, especially anything “forbidden,” which meant sex and drugs and drinking and also pretty much having friends or having fun ever or being anything less than perfect in every way. Her dad expected so much from her that he’d basically trapped her in a glass case her entire childhood and adolescence, away from anything real, all so she could flourish into the beautiful freak perfectionist genius she was today.
And then there was Itachi. Sasuke rarely talked about him, but any time she did Naruto always got this unsettling crawling feeling in her stomach that she didn’t know what to do with. “Itachi hates when I wear that”; “I have to get home soon or Itachi’s going to be up all night waiting.” Maybe she just didn’t know what it was like to have a brother, but Naruto couldn’t help thinking there was something just a little too weird about it. Whenever she got close to asking, though, Sasuke would get uptight and frustrated just like she’d been about her clothes that night, telling Naruto she obviously didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just how he is, and couldn’t she just complain about her family sometimes without it being some whole big thing? So Naruto didn’t pry.
Anyway, for her it was always the opposite. She’d grown up exposed to every unwholesome un-perfect thing possible before the age of like ten, and had learned pretty quick that, having absolutely nothing going for her and nobody else to look out for her interests, she was going to have to exploit a lot of other people’s generosity to get anywhere in life. And she did. She charmed and smiled and joked and socialized her way into Thanksgiving dinners at teachers’ houses and summer vacations spent hopping between sleepovers and hand-me-down bikes and phones and shoes and laptops and, eventually, into being captain of the volleyball team at her high school, which (along with a sob-story essay mostly ghostwritten by one of her teammates) was how she managed to get into their fancy-ish college despite her lifelong poor academic performance.
So people liking her had basically been the whole reason she’d gotten to do anything in her life. She didn’t think it was overly cynical or gross that she happened to know that one of the ways you could get people to like you was through sex. Everybody knew that—they just acted like they didn’t, because they didn’t need as much from people and have as few bargaining chips to get it as Naruto did. And besides, now that she was older and a little more independent and stuff, that didn’t have to mean something creepy anymore, like it did with people like the coach at her old volleyball camp who paid for her whole summer session and all her equipment junior year in exchange for Naruto laughing along instead of reporting him when he commented on her ass after every practice.
Now she actually liked sex. It was fun. She liked basking in all of somebody’s attention like that, her one insatiable want throughout her whole childhood and adolescence, liked knowing weird secret stuff about her friends that they’d entrusted only to her; she liked bossing Kiba around like her little puppy dog, liked showing off to Shikamaru how she was better at making his girlfriend come than he was. None of that had been anything like what she shared with Sasuke now, but it also wasn’t, like, bad. It just meant that some of her friends didn’t really treat her like a regular girl, that they talked uncensored and unembarrassed around her like she was one of them, and maybe also that they never seemed to worry about texting her the next morning or treating her feelings with any particular sensitivity the way they would with a girl they might actually like.
In fact, Sasuke was kind of the only person Naruto had ever been involved with who treated her like she wasn’t totally emotionally invulnerable. Sometimes Naruto had to stop herself from instinctively contradicting her—“no, that teacher was just trying to give me some motivation when he tacked my failed math test on the whiteboard, he was usually a pretty nice guy, really”—and realize that she actually had been hurt or saddened by some story she was telling like it was a funny joke. This was usually expressed in Sasuke’s typically blunt and decisive manner, but still, it was nice to hear sometimes. And she could be really sweet, too, in her own way.
Like tonight. She’d obviously been really nervous to ask Naruto to come over the week before, had basically made Naruto drag the invitation out of her after fake-casually dropping the news that her house would be empty that weekend, and then gone out of her way to make everything really special when she totally didn’t have to at all. Naruto would have been delighted by Domino’s and Netflix on the couch as long as Sasuke was there too. But it was obviously important to Sasuke, so Naruto drank her fancy sparkling wine, nodded and wowed at the house tour Sasuke led her on, ate her really extremely delicious penne alla vodka and herby ciabatta and caprese and cannoli, and then picked her up by the waist and carried her up the curved marble stairs into her pristine blue-and-gold wallpapered room and onto her fancy canopy bed to totally blow her genius little mind, sexually speaking.
Which was where the problem started. At first Sasuke had seemed to respond enthusiastically, if a little un-spontaneously, as Naruto kissed her and sucked on her earlobe and her neck and her collarbone (no hickeys, please) and slowly pulled off her super slutty slip dress to reveal an even sluttier brand-new black lace bra and panties set. “Holy motherfucking shit,” said Naruto, hoping to make up for her earlier blunder at the front door, and Sasuke smiled and turned her head to show her pale and pretty neck.
“What do you think?” she asked shyly.
Naruto, in her own sports bra and XS boxer shorts (in fact chosen intentionally, since she was well aware Sasuke found them way hot), knelt down on the floor and bent one of Sasuke’s legs up so she could bite the inside of her thigh. “I think you’re totally gonna get it tonight,” she said in between kisses. “You’re gonna get it so hard you’re not even gonna know what hit you.”
Sasuke had totally seemed like she was into it. She bit her lip and opened her legs and lifted her hips up for her skimpy underwear to be pulled off, acting all please-fuck-me with her body and her face. But when Naruto went to start her handiwork, she was surprised to be met by the smallest amount of tangible... enthusiasm that she’d ever felt from Sasuke before.
She looked up. Sasuke’s eyes were closed. “You okay?” she asked.
“What?” Sasuke propped herself up on an elbow. Naruto was stroking her gently with a finger, hoping to maybe stimulate some floodgates to open, but nothing. “Oh,” said Sasuke, sounding unperturbed. “No, I’m fine. Go ahead.”
“I mean, I’m trying,” said Naruto.
“It’s probably because I just shaved or something. I don’t know.” Sasuke flopped her head back down on the mattress. Naruto was pretty doubtful of the scientific validity of this explanation, but Sasuke seemed like she didn’t really want to talk about it. Whatever—Naruto could make up the difference on her own. She sucked on two of her fingers a little, then touched Sasuke super-softly again while she provided the rest of the missing moisture with her tongue. It was a little while—Naruto always got way into it—before she realized Sasuke wasn’t making any noise or anything, just lying on her back and staring up at the gauzy fabric over her bed, playing absentmindedly with a lock of hair between her fingers.
“Sasuke,” said Naruto, trying to make her voice sound sexy and confident instead of worried. “Can I put one in? Please? Will you let me?” She was hoping to call up the game they’d played in Naruto’s dorm the week before, when Sasuke had been in a much better mood than this, straddled between Naruto’s legs, naked on her bed, her long hair falling in a curtain to brush Naruto’s stomach, covering both of Naruto’s eyes with a hand as she rubbed herself down against Naruto’s clit.
“Let me look at you,” Naruto had groaned, trying to pull the wrist away from her face unsuccessfully. She couldn’t stand thinking about how hot Sasuke must have looked riding on top of her and she didn’t even get to see it. “Sasukeeee,” she whined, whimpering both at the unfairness of it all and at how fucking good the grinding pressure of Sasuke’s pelvic bone felt.
“Say please,” she heard Sasuke say. Just the sound of her breathy turned-on voice made Naruto throb against her.
“Please please please,” Naruto rushed out, “please, Sasuke, let me see, please?” And Sasuke had spread her fingers just wide enough to give Naruto a glimpse of her, leaning with her back arched and her mouth open and her head tilting back, until she closed them back up and made Naruto beg again. That was the kind of fun they had normally. Normally Naruto knew just how to push her buttons, how to make her laugh and make her scoff and make her come. Right now she couldn’t even get Sasuke to—well—there was really no other way to describe it, she just couldn’t—
“I said you can,” Sasuke said impatiently. “Do you want me to beg?”
“I know,” said Naruto. “But, it’s just...”
“What?”
“You’re not, like...letting me.” Naruto gave her a sad and apologetic face. “You know what I mean?”
Sasuke didn’t say anything, just closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her face. Then she sighed and banged her head down against the mattress under her.
“Kiddo,” said Naruto, coming up to hover over her and touch her hair. (Sasuke didn’t like when she called her “baby” or “honey” anytime outside of sex; she said it made her feel greasy. “Kiddo” was the appropriately distant yet affectionate substitute they’d settled on as acceptable.) “What’s up? Do you wanna wait a little? We don’t have to do stuff tonight if you’re not feeling good.”
“I want to.” Sasuke’s dark eyes were familiarly stubborn.
“I know,” said Naruto. “But, like...it kinda doesn’t seem like you actually do, though.”
Sasuke stared up and away from her for a moment, then groaned and turned over onto her stomach on the mattress, pressing both hands to her eyes.
“What is it?” Naruto asked, really worried now. “Did I do something?”
Sasuke was silent. “You’re going to think I’m insane,” she finally said, her voice muffled by the duvet.
“Come on,” said Naruto. “Of course I won’t.”
Sasuke turned back over to face her and sat up, covering her exposed crotch daintily with both hands. “I know it sounds stupid,” she said hesitantly. “But I keep thinking about my dad and my brother. I just...I just feel like they’re going to know. Like they have cameras in here or something and they’ll see everything. I know it’s insane.”
“Cameras?” Naruto said. “Maybe downstairs or something, but there’s no way they’d actually put cameras in your room, right?”
Sasuke just glared at her from the side of her eyes as if to say, you don’t know.
“Okay,” said Naruto. “You want me to check?” She stood up and went to the intricate wooden desk, grabbed its chair and dragged it over to the corner of the room. “Nothing up here,” she said, examining the crown molding between the ceiling and the wall, then hopped down to turn on her phone’s flashlight and shine it across the door to the walk-in closet and behind the framed horse paintings on the wall. “All clear. Do you have any stuffed animals? Like a teddy bear? That’s usually where they put ’em.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” said Sasuke, but Naruto could see the twitch of a smile at one side of her mouth.
“No, I get it,” said Naruto, coming back over to her bed. “It’s your fancy little room. I’m probably, like, the lowest grade point average that’s ever stepped foot through that door.”
“Shut up.” Sasuke kicked her gently on the ankle. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
“I know.” Naruto put a hand on her thigh. “Should we go downstairs or something? Wanna watch some TV?”
Sasuke didn’t respond, just leaned down to pick her lacy underwear off the floor, staring at it between her fingers with a sigh. “I spent so much money on these,” she said despondently. “You must think I’m such a basket case.”
“Sure.” Naruto wrapped both arms around Sasuke’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head. “That’s what I like about you.”
Sasuke looked over at her with an unhappy expression.
“I’m just kidding,” said Naruto, taking the underwear from her and inspecting it close to her face, enjoying the faint smell of Sasuke that lingered on the fabric. “Like, how come you did buy these, though? Not that I don’t like ’em,” she said quickly. “Just, like. I thought you hated stuff like that. Sexy girl stuff.”
“I don’t know,” said Sasuke. “I thought...I just thought it would be nice. Like we were a real—” She stopped herself mid-sentence. “But of course I ruined everything,” she mumbled.
“Oh my God, no you didn’t.” Naruto pushed her with a knee. “What’s ruined? I’m still having fun.” She felt a little tension release from her chest. Secretly, in a tiny and ashamed part of herself, she’d been worried that the dress and the makeup and the lingerie were signaling that Sasuke had started to see her the way she saw the creepy fanclub guys—less like her partner in a million secret weird make-believes and more like somebody who looked at Sasuke’s beautiful delicate stubborn face and only wanted to insert her into the Brazzers babysitter videos of their youth. Of course Sasuke had been turned off dressing up for somebody like that—it was everything she hated, everything she’d spent nineteen years trying to escape, as she’d more or less told Naruto many times. Naruto stood up, still holding the underwear.
“Let’s go back to my dorm,” she said decisively, and took hold of the elastic of her own boxer shorts. Sasuke blinked. “We’re switching,” said Naruto. She pulled off her underwear and dropped it onto Sasuke’s lap, then stepped into the lacy ones. “You be me and I’ll be you. And then it’ll be like, the curse is lifted, yaknow, because it can’t tell which one of us is which. Or if we’re like on camera, they can’t tell either. Right?” She grinned at Sasuke as she took her bra off over her head and gestured for the other.
Sasuke smiled, rolling her eyes, and reached behind her back for the clasp. “You’re insane,” she said. “And there’s no way that’ll fit you. Or my dress.” She tossed the bra at Naruto and put on her boxers.
“God, you look cute,” said Naruto. Sasuke was right; she could barely pull the band around herself, to say nothing of the tiny cups in front. Sasuke laughed, watching her struggle, then got up to open the door of her walk-in closet.
“Here,” she said, emerging a moment later, and handed Naruto a pressed and folded skirt and sweater set. “Try this on.”
“I’m scared,” said Naruto, feeling the thick pile of the soft sweater against her arm. “I think this outfit’s worth more than my tuition.” She’d left the bra on the ground, having given up on ever fitting it around her chest. “How do I look?” She posed with a hand on her hip.
Sasuke stared at her a moment, her expression unreadable. After a few seconds, Naruto started to get nervous; she’d meant it mostly as a joke. Then Sasuke put both her hands to Naruto’s face and kissed her, hard.
“Now do mine.” Naruto’s cheeks were flushed as she watched Sasuke put on her clothes, partly from the hot makeout—the first genuine one they’d had all night, she was realizing—and partly from excitement. Sasuke looked unbelievably adorable in her baggy shirt and jeans at least three inches loose from her waist. She retrieved a belt from her closet and put her hair up in a ponytail, making Naruto laugh.
“If I see anyone on campus while I’m dressed like this I’m having you expelled from school,” Sasuke warned her.
“They wouldn’t know anyway.” Naruto elbowed her. “They’ll just think you’re me. Hey, you think we should start doing this so you can take my math tests for me?”
“Sure,” said Sasuke. “But I think they’d figure it out once they see me sitting in place for more than thirty seconds at a time.”
Naruto laughed. “You love it,” she said, pinching Sasuke’s waist, who smacked her away. “Come on.” She pulled at Sasuke’s hand, tilting her head to the doorway. “Let’s get out of here.”
They snuck out the back door and took the shortcut to Naruto’s building, cutting through the dark rugby field and down the sidewalk. Sasuke covered her face when Naruto swiped them into the door, probably thinking somebody would catch her in the act and blow the whole secret-relationship thing wide open, but the common room was empty. Once they made it to Naruto’s room, she breathed a long sigh and turned to look at herself in the mirror that leaned against Naruto’s closet.
“It’s a good look, right?” Naruto came up behind her to kiss her neck. Sasuke was twisting her high ponytail idly around a hand, watching herself in silence. Naruto pressed her nose to the back of her head.
“You know,” she said, “you can totally borrow my stuff whenever you feel like it. You could even take it home if you wanna. Play dress-up in your room or whatever.”
Sasuke didn’t say anything, just shook her head, still looking at herself in the mirror. Naruto leaned against her back, wrapping her arms around Sasuke’s shoulders.
“Well,” she said, “you still look cute. Uzumaki.” She poked at Sasuke’s arm, and Sasuke smiled.
“So that makes you Uchiha?” She turned around to face Naruto, looked at her for a moment, and kissed her. Naruto felt something delicate and fluttery in her chest, something big and real-feeling enough to scare her a little. She held Sasuke’s face in her hands and felt her warm skin.
When she pulled away, Sasuke tilted her face up and looked at Naruto, a secret amusement on her face. “Well,” she said, “if you’re me, then does that mean I should be...” She trailed off, a tentative hand floating up to the bottom of the skirt Naruto was wearing, touching softly at the inside of a thigh.
Naruto bit her lip, laughed a little nervously. “I mean,” she said, “if you want to. Yeah. I guess.”
“I want to,” said Sasuke.
She let Sasuke take her own clothes off her, let her lead Naruto to the bed and get on top of her, kissing her and stroking her hair and her skin. Naruto didn’t quite know why she felt so self-conscious; it wasn’t like Sasuke had never fingered her before. Far from it. It was just that she wasn’t really used to receiving this kind of focus, somebody trying to please only her, no thought for themselves, without Naruto doing her own part or performing her own role at the same time. Honestly, she usually tried to avoid it. As much as her upbringing had left her with a constant craving for attention, she was still much more comfortable with that attention either being negative, as it had been for most of her childhood, or being about something on the outside of her, something she’d done or said or come up with, something she had some say about. She’d always had a secret fear that if someone ever looked past those distractions and tried to see who she really was inside, they might open up that box to find nothing at all.
“Tell me if there’s something you want,” Sasuke whispered to her, laying half on top of Naruto, a thigh between both of her own, stroking one hand in her hair as the other played softly between her legs. Naruto nodded and couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking away from Sasuke’s as she felt the first finger touch gently inside her. Sasuke was moving slowly, warming her up, tracing wet fingertips into Naruto and then around the outside of her, all of it hot and sensitive. She’d noticed before that sometimes when they had sex Sasuke seemed to carefully reverse the way Naruto treated her, as if she figured that since they were equal-and-opposites in so many ways, Naruto must like to be handled with as much gentleness and sweetness as Sasuke wanted roughness. It wasn’t totally untrue, but that wasn’t the main reason Naruto never contradicted her. She’d just never had anybody put so much thought into it before.
She didn’t know how to answer Sasuke. What she wanted was always to make Sasuke feel good, to fix her unhappinesses and tend to her quirks and needs. Doing that, when she was successful, made her feel better than pretty much anything else. She tried to spin it for herself, believe that what would make Sasuke feel good right now was doing whatever she wanted, but she wasn’t sounding too convincing.
“Do you want me to talk to you?” Sasuke was asking, still touching her softly with her thumb and one languid finger, making her feel tingly and weird.
“Yeah, I like talking to you.” Naruto grinned at her and reached up to poke Sasuke’s face. She laughed.
“That’s not what I mean.” She shook her head. “I mean—what do you do when you’re—alone? What do you think about?”
“You,” said Naruto. “Duh.”
Sasuke rolled her eyes. “Shut up,” she said. “I’m really asking.”
“Uhh...” Naruto looked to the side. She’d shared a lot with Sasuke over the last few months, but she was pretty sure her jackoff fantasies were still in the category of things far too embarrassing and weird to ever tell a soul. Besides, it wasn’t like Sasuke was going to be able to magically turn Naruto into a medieval peasant girl who dressed like a boy soldier to single-handedly lead her country to victory and was coming home to a devoted harem of ladies in waiting who’d become overwhelmingly horny for her once they learned she was a girl. Uh, or something like that.
“I don’t know,” she said to Sasuke, moving to run a hand over Sasuke’s bare shoulders and her back. “Can I just, like, look at you, maybe?”
Sasuke smiled and sat up next to her, put her shoulders back to show her bare chest and brought Naruto’s legs closer to her so she could keep touching her. Naruto watched her for a moment, then, surprising herself a little, asked, “Could you do it to yourself, actually?”
Sasuke raised her eyebrows. “Oh,” she said, taking her hand back, “you mean you want to do it like—”
“Yeah.” Naruto nodded, pushing herself a little backward on the bed to lean against the wall. Sasuke was letting her hair down from her ponytail, shaking it out and sweeping it over one shoulder to position herself. “You’re so hot,” Naruto couldn’t help saying.
Sasuke just shook her head. “What should I do?” she asked, arching her back a little where she sat. “Like—” She moved one hand between her legs and the other to rub her nipple, and made a kind of porny sigh sound.
“I mean, you don’t have to like—” Naruto felt herself blushing awkwardly. “Just do it like you actually would do it,” she said. “Not like it’s fake.”
“Okay.” Sasuke nudged her with a knee, then closed her eyes and put two fingers shallowly inside herself, leaning a little on the bed for balance. Naruto watched her intensely, thinking not for the first time about how insanely disbelieving she would have been three months ago to hear that she’d ever have this exact sight right in front of her. She rubbed a few fingertips against herself, unhurried—it actually normally took like nothing for her to make herself come, which was another reason she never minded putting all her focus on somebody else during sex. She stared at Sasuke touching herself, at her stupid hot body and her open legs with her familiar soft hand moving in between them, and then—
“Naruto,” she heard Sasuke sigh, tilting her head back a little and putting her free hand to her hair. Despite how obviously hot it was, Naruto couldn’t help giggling at the over-the-top acting.
“Come on,” she said to Sasuke. “I said do it for real.”
“I am.” Sasuke looked darkly at her. “You don’t like it?”
“Of course I like it. I just said I didn’t want it all fake.”
“It’s not fake,” said Sasuke. “I think about you every time. Even before I knew what it was like, I used to imagine you fucking me whenever I did it. I wanted it so bad.”
Naruto blinked at her four times in rapid succession. “Really?” she said in a tiny voice.
Sasuke nodded. “I really did,” she said. “That time at the party—when you—” She sighed, pushing some hair from her face. “Just trust me,” she said. “It’s the only thing I like. It’s the only thing I want, all the time.”
“Really?” Naruto said again. She could feel the hot pricks of tears forming behind her eyes and tried to blink them away, her eyelashes coming back wet.
“Really,” said Sasuke. She closed her eyes and started moving her hand between her legs again. “I think about how good it feels when you fuck me—you always know what I want, every time—” Naruto stared in awe at Sasuke talking and pushing her fingers into herself. “You’re the only one who can do it,” she said. “I don’t ever want anybody else inside me.”
“God,” Naruto whispered, her voice a little choked. She wanted to throw Sasuke down on the bed and kiss her, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t interrupt what she was seeing in front of her. All she could do was rub her fingers against herself and try to make it last.
“Naruto,” said Sasuke, grasping some of her hair into a fist as she went deeper into herself. “Naruto, please. It’s so good when you do it. It’s all I want, I just want you to touch me, nobody else. You’re the best, Naruto.”
You’re the best, Naruto. Naruto couldn’t help it—she slid down against the wall as she came, hearing nothing but those words in her head, quivering into herself and feeling the sharp tears in her eyes again. Sasuke opened her eyes to look at her, smiled, looking like an angel across from her as Naruto sniffled embarrassingly, and moved her hand into an obviously well-used gesture to finish herself off too. Naruto grabbed her elbow and buried her face into Sasuke’s armpit as soon as she was done.
“Hey,” Sasuke laughed. “Ow.”
“You don’t even know what you just did,” Naruto said, her voice muffled into Sasuke’s skin. “You just created a monster. I’m never gonna let you stop saying that stuff anymore. Oh my God.”
Sasuke tugged at Naruto’s hair under her. “You’re too easy to please,” she said. “You never make me work for it.”
Naruto sat up to look at her, smiling. “Is that what you were doing all night?” she asked. “Making me work for it?”
Sasuke shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Bad girl.” Naruto tapped her on the head, giving her an exaggerated frown. “Tricky.” She knew Sasuke wasn’t telling the truth, that all the vulnerability and honesty she’d shown to Naruto at her house was just a little too scary for her to admit out loud. It didn’t matter to her. She’d let Sasuke have her cover story. She’d earned it.