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Josh Lyman walked into the multipurpose room at George Washington University Hospital. There was a sign near the door that let him know he was in the right place, and yet so out of place.
LAMAZE INTERNATIONAL
CHILDBIRTH PREPAREDNESS COURSE
Taught by Abigail Bartlet, MD, OB-GYN
Josh sighed. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. He meant to pick up his sister’s refund check, and then leave.
Four months earlier, his sister Joan had found out she was pregnant by one of the players in the orchestra she performed in. The father had disappeared from the picture, leaving her mother and brother as her support system during the pregnancy. About a month ago, Joanie asked Josh if he would be her Lamaze coach, and he gamely agreed, despite being squeamish.
But then, earlier that week, a routine checkup for Joanie led to a frightening discovery. Her blood pressure was high enough that they needed to deliver the baby early. Three months early.
It had been two days since Noah Michael Lyman was born. And instead of being safe in his mother’s arms, he was in an incubator in the sterile environment of the hospital’s NICU, two floors up. He had just come from visiting his sister and nephew.
This particular class had been recommended to Joanie by White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry, his boss, himself expecting a child with his second wife, Annabeth, the White House Press Secretary. Josh was glad that Leo, an old friend of his father’s, had begun to find happiness after his decades-long struggle with sobriety and divorce. Also taking advantage of the class were his best friend, Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn and his wife Ainsley. There were a handful of others he didn’t recognize, but for now, his attention was diverted to the instructor who had entered the room.
“Dr. B!” He greeted, walking over to the President’s wife.
“Joshua!” Abbey Bartlet greeted with similar ease. “What brings you here?”
“Ah. I’m actually here on behalf of my sister.”
“Yes, Joan. She called me this morning. How are they doing?”
“As well as can be expected,” Josh replied. “The baby’s stabilized, and they’re watching his heart and brain to see if he develops any complications.”
“Good.”
Josh scrubbed his hair. “So…I’m here to pick up-”
“Her check, yes.” Abbey picked up an envelope. “Tell Joan I’m sorry things didn’t work out, and I’ll drop by and check on her. When will she be discharged?”
“Tomorrow, hopefully.”
“Excellent.”
“Josh!” He heard in greeting. He turned to see Sam and Ainsley walking toward him. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Yeah, I was here visiting Joanie and I’m picking up her refund check for her.”
“Oh, how’s she doing?” Ainsley wondered. “How’s the baby?”
“She’s doing better. They want to keep her another night.”
“That’s good. Please tell her we’re praying for her.”
“I will.”
“All right!” Abbey called, clapping her hands. “Let’s all settle in and get started.”
Josh began to turn on his heel and walk toward the door. If nothing else, he could hear how Abbey was handling herself with the DC elite. Since he assumed everyone was vetted and worked in DC.
“I’m Abigail Bartlet. Most, if not all of you, know me as the First Lady of the United States. In here, feel free to call me Abbey, or Dr. Bartlet. Now, I assume you’re all in the right place, so welcome to-”
Just then, the door cracked open, and another pregnant woman with blonde hair down to her shoulders walked in.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt, they told me I should come back here? I’m sorry I’m late.”
Josh looked at her and instantly felt an attraction to her.
“No need to apologize, you must be-” Abbey consulted her list. “Donna Moss.”
“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?”
“Well, you’re the only one who didn’t sign up with a partner. Since all the couples signed up are here, I figured it out by process of elimination. Come on in, take a seat. Josh!”
Josh turned around. “Ma’am?”
“You have anywhere to be tonight?”
Josh shook his head. “Um…no, ma’am.”
“Good. Then sit down.”
“Ma’am?” His voice went to another register.
“You’re gonna be Donna’s partner. That all right with you, Donna?”
“Um…sure.” Donna smiled.
Josh walked over and sat down. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Okay, everyone. Let’s do introductions. Your names, the gender of your baby, maybe what number it is, when you’re due, and what you hope to get out of this course. Occupations are optional, but not required.”
Josh sat back and tried to seal the names and faces of everyone in his head.
Sam and Ainsley Seaborn, expecting their first son after two miscarriages.
Congressman Matt Santos and his wife Helen, expecting their second child, a daughter, and wanting a refresher course since it had been five years since their son was born.
CJ Cregg-Ziegler, who worked for EMILY’s List, and Toby Ziegler, Communications Director for Vice-President Hoynes. Toby had twins from his previous marriage, but this would be CJ’s first baby, a son.
Leo and Annabeth McGarry, Chief of Staff and Press Secretary, expecting their first daughter.
Finally, it was Donna’s turn.
“Hi, everyone. I’m Donna Moss, I’m a Communications Aide for Senator Stackhouse, and this is my first baby, a little girl. Um…there is no father. I went through artificial insemination because I decided I’d rather have a baby by myself than wait to find Mr. Right. I’m due in three months, and I’m very excited.”
Josh sat there awkwardly before he realized everyone was staring at him. “Hey, I’m Josh Lyman. My sister was gonna take this class, but her kid was born early, so…I’m kind of here as an observer, and Dr. Bartlet thought I would be a good partner for Donna.”
“Well, welcome, Donna, Josh. We’re happy to have you. And welcome, everyone, to the Lamaze childbirth class. For the next eight weeks, we’re going to cover every topic imaginable about pregnancy, labor, delivery, and early parenthood. Now, I want you to put everything you’ve learned from TV out of your head. The Lamaze method is so much more than that. Labor is one of the hardest, most mind-boggling experiences you will ever go through. That’s why they call it labor. It’s as much a mind game as it is physical work. But if you’re prepared, if you’re both prepared, it can also be one of the most rewarding and joyful moments of your life. That’s what I’m going to teach you over the next eight weeks.”
For the next 45 minutes, Abbey gave a crash course on the three trimesters of pregnancy, and how the women could be supported as they got closer to their due dates. Finally, she said, “Okay, that’s it. I’ll see you next week.”
Donna and Josh walked out together. Josh spoke first.
“Well, that was…”
“Interesting. Enlightening.”
“I just realized we haven’t been properly introduced.” Josh stuck out his hand. “Josh Lyman.”
“Donna Moss.”
“You work for Stackhouse?”
“Yes.”
“Good. He’s an ally.”
“Yes. Mr. Lyman…”
“Josh.”
“Josh,” She repeated. “You probably heard me in there, but I’m not interested in a relationship. I’m raising my daughter on my own. And I could probably get through labor by myself.”
“Sometimes you need someone or something to focus on,” Josh pointed out. “Or a second set of hands.”
Donna looked at him. “Yeah. You make a good point, but you have to promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“You have to promise not to fall in love with me.”
Josh looked at her. “Okay. That won’t be a problem.”
Except Josh was fairly certain he already had.
…
Over the next few weeks, Josh came to Donna’s apartment to pick her up for the class. He thought it would be easier than her driving to the hospital. Every week at 7, he and Leo somehow avoided major international crises and spent the next hour learning everything they could about supporting their partners through labor.
“Okay. In the past few classes, we’ve looked at the final stages of pregnancy and the beginnings of labor. Today, we’ll look at the active phase of labor. Active labor is when your cervix dilates from approximately 4 to 7 centimeters. The contractions will get stronger, harder, and longer. 45-60 seconds, 3 to 5 minutes apart.”
Donna listened with rapt attention. Josh sat next to her, thinking about how Joanie hadn’t made it this far. But he admired how Donna seemed to be taking everything in stride.
“Now, who knows when to go to the hospital, or when it’s time to call your doctor?”
CJ raised her hand. “When the contractions have been five minutes apart, one minute long, for an hour. Or if your water breaks.”
“Very good, CJ.”
CJ smiled and rested back into Toby’s arms.
“Okay. So this is the time of labor when many women opt for pain meds. Now, I want to make it clear that there is no shame in an epidural if you find that you can’t handle it. But if you decide to push through, this is where focusing on breathing and relaxation techniques is important. We’ll also learn some positions we’ll review over the next couple of weeks. So, let’s start with the upright ones. Everyone, stand up.”
Everyone stood, the women with the help of the guys. Josh held a hand out to Donna and helped her up.
“Thank you,” Donna told him.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, everyone. What you’ll do is take your arms and place them around your partner’s neck. Partners, you’re going to put your arms around her waist.”
Donna hesitated, then placed her hands on Josh’s shoulders. Josh figured this was as close as she was comfortable getting. Josh had a similar hesitation putting his arms around her waist.
“And then, almost as if you’re slow dancing, you’re going to slowly sway in his arms. This is a good time to work on the deep breathing we introduced last week. I’ve got the timer. Contraction starts…now.”
He could feel Donna’s chest rise and fall as she steadily took deep breaths.
“Partners, this would be a good opportunity for a back rub, and some words of encouragement on the big day. If your partner’s struggling with breathing, make eye contact with her and help her breathe.”
Donna didn’t make eye contact with him. Josh figured if she did, she wouldn’t be able to focus on staying neutral.
Abbey walked around, saying things like, “That’s good, Sam…maybe try rubbing her shoulders, Leo…that’s it, Matt, nice and steady.” She came around to Josh and Donna.
“Josh, don’t be afraid to touch her. If you’re hesitant during labor, it’s not going to come off well to Donna when she’s the one in pain.”
Josh nodded, rubbing her back gently.
“That feels nice,” Donna murmured.
“Thanks,” Josh whispered back.
“And contraction…end. Deep cleansing breath in…and out.”
Donna stepped away from Josh, and Josh smiled at her comfortingly.
“You want to grab something to eat after this, then go back to your place and practice?” Josh asked her.
“Um…sure,” Donna said.
“Not as a date, just dinner.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
They went to the Hawk N Dove and got some salads. They returned to Donna’s walk-up apartment. Josh looked around. There was a room decorated as a nursery, and Josh could see a bassinet in the corner of Donna’s bedroom.
Donna eyed his plate. “Do you normally eat anything other than junk food?”
Josh shrugged. “You’re eating healthy.”
“True. You gonna go to CJ and Toby’s cookout next week?”
“If I don’t have to work.”
“They’re nice people.”
“He worked on Bartlet For America, you know. The only reason he wasn’t the President’s Communication Director was because David Rosen took the job.”
“Ah. How’s your sister, by the way?”
“Spends most of her time at the hospital. He’s getting stronger though. They might let him go home in a few weeks.”
“That’s great! How much older than you is she?”
“Seven years.”
“She was a bit of a mother hen with you?”
“Oh, yeah. So…where are you from?”
“I’m from Wisconsin.” Donna gave him a look. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t even think about making a cheese joke.”
“I wasn’t!”
“You were thinking it.”
“Maybe.”
“Well, where did you grow up?”
“Connecticut. I’m a graduate of Harvard and Yale Law.”
“Interesting.”
“Why, where’d you graduate?”
“University of Minnesota. I wanted to get out of Wisconsin.”
“That’s a pretty good school. What made you want to move out here?”
“I had a couple of bad relationships. One where the guy was kind of possessive, and another…”
“Another…?”
Donna swallowed. “Physically and emotionally abusive, made me put him through med school. The only reason I got out was getting put in the hospital and checking out before he could find me.”
Josh looked over. His face hardened. “Where is he?”
“Wisconsin. Josh, you can’t go after him.”
“Wanna watch me?”
“Josh…”
The pleading look in her eyes made him relent. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Donna, please tell me he’s not the father of this-”
“No! I’m not that close to my parents. I just wanted to start over, you know? And I always knew I wanted to be a mom, so I ended up going to a fertility clinic for artificial insemination. Even if I never have a relationship, I will always have my little girl.”
“So how are you going to handle your job?” Josh asked pointedly.
“I’ve already talked to the Senator, and he was very understanding about me taking maternity leave. And when I go back to work, I’ll put her into the Congressional daycare.”
“That makes sense. You know, Donna…if you need anything after she’s born…money or a babysitter or anything at all…you just let me know.”
Donna nodded. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They lapsed into an awkward silence, unsure of where the line was and how not to cross it.
Donna smiled at him. “You know, they say it takes a village to raise a child. I guess I could use a friend.”
Josh smiled. “You got one.”
“Good.”
…
The next week, the day after class was held, CJ and Toby hosted the class for a barbeque cookout. It was the middle of May.
Donna knocked on the door of their townhouse.
CJ swung open the door. “Hey, Donna, you’re right on time. Come on in.”
“Thanks.”
They made their way to the patio, where Helen, Matt, Sam, and Ainsley were already gathered. To her surprise, Josh was by the grill, helping Toby.
“Hi, Donna!” Ainsley exclaimed.
“Donna, hey,” Helen greeted. “Come sit down.”
Donna and CJ lowered themselves into chairs. Just then, Annabeth walked around back.
“Hey,” CJ greeted. “Where’s Leo?”
“Had to work. Some international emergency. He told me to come without him.”
As Annabeth sat down, Josh came over with a plate for Donna.
“Thank you,” Donna said in surprise.
“No problem,” Josh shrugged.
She was so stunned that she barely registered Helen and Annabeth giving each other looks.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
Both women looked back at her.
“Oh, nothing,” Helen replied. “Except…are you sure there isn’t anything going on with you and Josh?”
Donna shook her head. “No! We’re just friends.”
“Just friends?” Annabeth asked with a smirk. “I don’t know about that.”
“We really are,” Donna insisted.
“What are we talking about?” Ainsley asked.
“Josh and Donna,” Annabeth answered.
“Oh, come on. Everyone knows that he feels something for you.”
“Is that right?” Donna asked.
“Yes!” All three women exclaimed.
Donna sighed and watched Josh across the yard. It was becoming obvious that he would be a great partner and an even better father. He had helped her finish the nursery the weekend before and called nearly every night to check on them. She admired him and his willingness, but she still didn’t think she loved him. Besides, he had promised. They had made a pact.
“Okay!” CJ said. “Baby names. Are they picked out yet?”
Annabeth smiled shyly. “Leo and I are naming her after my mother. Her name was Margaret Claire, but we’re gonna switch it around. Claire Margaret.”
“That’s beautiful,” CJ smiled. “We’re also naming our son after someone. Toby’s brother died when he was in his 20s, so…this one’s name is David.”
“We haven’t decided on a name yet,” Ainsley spoke up, glancing at Sam. “I like Connor, Sam likes Charles.”
“Charles?” Donna laughed.
“As in Dickens.”
“Ah. Of course.”
“Neither have Matt and I,” Helen said, grasping her husband’s hand. “But we’ve got three names we’ve narrowed it down to. Matt?”
Matt smiled. “Carla, Julia, and Miranda.”
“I like Miranda,” Annabeth smiled.
“Me too,” Donna replied.
“What about you, Donna?” Toby asked as he sat down next to his wife and subtly kept an eye on the three kids running around.
“Um…the only thing I’ve decided is that I want to honor my grandmother somehow.”
“What was her name?” Helen asked.
“Nicola.”
“Oh, that’s pretty.”
“Yeah. Maybe for a middle name, though. I’m not wild about it being her first name. I’ve got a whole bunch of options for the first name.”
“Like what?” Ainsley wanted to know.
“Victoria, Andrea, Naomi, Bethany…”
“I like Bethany,” Josh piped up.
“Yeah?” Donna said.
“Yeah. Bethany could be good.”
Donna smiled. “I’ll think about it.”
They seemed to be drawing closer in their hearts no matter what their minds were telling them. But they would get some news the next week that would change everything.
…
Helen and Annabeth were the first to arrive at the hospital after Toby’s text.
CJ’s in labor.
They decided to wait a few hours, but both showed up at the same time.
“I’m so excited!” Annabeth said. “But…isn’t 35 weeks too early?”
“Not necessarily,” Helen answered. “Maybe a few extra days in the hospital, but nothing-”
Helen stopped in her tracks. Standing at the end of the hall was Toby. Abbey was with him. But his expression was not one of joy.
“What the-?” Annabeth whispered.
Abbey saw them. Saying something to Toby, she walked towards them with a grim look on her face.
“Abbey?” Helen asked gently.
“Something’s wrong,” Annabeth replied. “What’s wrong?”
“Yes, Annabeth. Something, unfortunately, is wrong.”
From behind them, they could hear excited chatter as Matt, Sam, and Ainsley arrived.
“Honey, where do we validate park-” The words died on Matt’s lips as he caught the tense expressions of everyone.
Abbey looked at the five of them. “I’m afraid I have some…distressing news. CJ’s fine, but the baby…the baby went into distress. They attempted to resuscitate him, but-”
“No,” Helen breathed, knowing what was coming.
“I’m afraid the baby was stillborn.”
Helen broke into tears, and Matt pulled her close. Annabeth stood, frozen, her eyes pooling with unshed tears. Ainsley began to sob against Sam’s chest.
“I don’t get it,” Ainsley whispered. “She sent a picture of her ultrasound yesterday. He was fine. What happened?”
Abbey looked at her sympathetically. “No one knows for sure.”
Just then, Donna rushed in, followed by Josh. “I just saw it. I had to take a cab from the office. How’s she doing?”
She looked around. Dread filled the pit of her stomach as she took in everyone’s shocked and devastated expressions.
“Abbey? Everything’s okay, right? With the baby? CJ?”
Everyone looked at her. Finally, Annabeth spoke up.
“He died, Donna. CJ and Toby lost the baby.”
Donna started to cry. Josh swallowed as he put an arm on her shoulder. He hadn’t even known the Cregg-Zieglers for two months, and yet he was as affected by the news as everyone else.
Toby approached the group. Everyone looked at him, instantly crushed to see the haunted look in his eyes.
“Um…thank you all for coming, but…CJ doesn’t want to see anyone right now. And there’s not much you can do.”
The women looked at each other, then at their stomachs. Of course, CJ didn’t want to see them. They were blatant reminders of what she should’ve had.
“Come on, let’s go,” Matt said to the group. “Let’s give them some time.”
Everyone gave their condolences to Toby. Josh put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something in Hebrew.
“What does that mean?” Donna asked him quizzically.
“It’s a Jewish expression to comfort mourners. It means, ‘May his memory be a blessing.’”
“That’s beautiful.”
Josh put an arm around Donna as they left, their hearts heavy.
…
Josh and Donna sat on Josh’s couch. They meant to be practicing their skills but instead were in shock over the events of the day.
“I just can’t believe it,” Donna murmured.
“I know.”
“Just like that, the baby’s just…gone. It makes you think.”
“What?”
“That I can’t take this-that I can’t take her-for granted.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Josh replied.
“What are you talking about?”
“After what happened with Joanie and with baby Noah and David…I can’t take anything for granted.”
“What do you mean?” Donna asked, perplexed.
Josh leaned forward, took his face in her hands, and kissed her.
Donna melted into the kiss. They kissed for a few seconds before Donna abruptly pulled away.
“Donna?”
Donna looked at him, then looked away. “I can’t believe it.”
“Donna…”
“What just happened?”
“I-I think we just kissed.”
“I know! But why?”
“Because I don’t want to take anything for granted anymore, Donna! And I’m…I’m in love with you.”
Donna looked at him, hurt, betrayed. Then she stood up and gathered her things. “I need to get out of here. Do me a favor, don’t come to the class next week.”
“What?” Josh asked.
“Better yet, just leave me alone. Don’t call me, don’t show up at the hospital. I wanted to do this myself before, and I can do it. I know I can.”
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t-”
“Don’t try and be chivalrous right now.” Donna looked at him with tears in her eyes. “You promised, Josh. You promised.”
“What did I promise?”
“That you wouldn’t fall in love with me.”
The next thing Josh heard was the door slamming. And she was gone.
…
Josh spent the next two weeks in a daze. He couldn’t believe that Donna had just pushed her out of her life like that. Though, he admitted, she had every right to.
He had broken his promise.
After hearing what she had been through, he had let his feelings of protection for her-and the baby girl that wasn’t his-spill over into love. And he had hurt her. He had never wanted to hurt her.
Then one day, the day he got a text announcing the natural birth of Connor Joshua Seaborn, he also got a call. Baby Noah was being discharged from the hospital, and Joanie wanted him to bring her dinner. He picked up dinner from their favorite deli and knocked on her apartment door.
Joanie answered the door with a sleeping baby on her shoulder. “Hey, little brother.”
“Hey, sis.” He gingerly kissed her cheek, barely avoiding the baby.
“You wanna come in? Set the food down and wash your hands.”
“Yes, ma’am,” He said cheekily, coming in and following directions. He sat down on the couch.
“You wanna hold your nephew?”
Josh grinned. “Yeah.”
Joanie picked her son up. “Hi, baby boy,” She cooed. “I’m gonna give you to Feder Josh, okay?”
Josh smirked. “Going with the Yiddish, huh?”
“Ma already decided she’d be Bubbe. So, better to keep the line going.”
“Fair enough.”
Joanie smiled as Josh held his nephew with a tenderness she wasn’t expecting. “You’re a natural, Josh.”
“Yeah. I guess I’d been hoping to get some practice with…with…”
“Donna’s baby?” Joanie asked knowingly.
Josh shrugged. “Yeah.”
“When are you gonna call that girl?”
“She doesn’t want me to. She wants space. I respect that.”
“Josh…whether you know it or not, you’re in this now. You got in this the minute she asked you to be her Lamaze coach. You were always going to know her and that little girl on some level. So, why is it that you’re giving up so easily? The brother I know doesn’t do that.”
“Joanie…”
“Give her the space she needs. But someday, when the time is right, reach out to her. You’ll always regret it if you don’t. Besides, I have a feeling she’ll call you before you call her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Sooner or later, she’s gonna realize that she can’t get through labor on her own, and break down and call you.”
…
It had been a month since their fight, and Donna fought to control the urge to call him-even as her seventh contraction of the hour coursed through her.
Keeping her breaths steady and even, she noted the time and took a bite of granola, seated on the birthing ball Abbey had loaned her while watching QVC. She was keeping things calm and busy, yet relaxed in early labor, just as she had been coached.
She checked her watch. It was getting close to 11. Maybe Josh would still be at work.
No, she chastised herself. She was ready to do this without him before, and she could do it again.
She took a shower, breathing through two or three contractions. As she stepped out onto the tile, her water broke.
Donna laughed a little in disbelief. “Guess this is happening,” She murmured. She got dressed and grabbed her bag, pillow, and water bottle.
“Let’s go have a baby,” She said to herself, suddenly emotional as she left.
She checked in at the hospital and found herself being examined by the doctor on call, Dr. Millicent Griffith.
“You’re about four centimeters, Donna. It might be a while. Are you okay to labor on your own? Because I can call Abbey-that is, Dr. Bartlet-if you-”
“I’ll be fine,” Donna assured the older woman.
“All right, suit yourself. Just try to relax as much as you can. Maybe go for a walk.”
“Thank you.”
Dr. Griffith started to leave, then turned. “By the way, I’m getting my money’s worth on Abbey’s Lamaze class tonight. The McGarrys had their baby a few hours ago, and the Santoses were admitted around 8:00. Poor thing’s getting exhausted, though.”
“Helen?”
“Yeah. She’s making slow progress. I hate to say it, but…I think her exhaustion’s preventing her from dilating.”
“I’ve heard that can happen.”
“Hopefully, she’ll be fine. Get some rest. I’ll check you in a few hours.’
Donna tossed and turned, her contractions providing her with interruptions from her much-needed catnaps. Finally, at 4:00 am, her contractions less than 5 minutes apart, she gave up on sleep and decided to walk the halls.
She lumbered along, holding her back, and walked down the hall to the nursery. She smiled as she saw a bundle with a pink hat with the crib labeled.
GIRL: Claire Margaret McGarry
Born June 30, 2000
5:45 pm
8 lbs, 5 ounces
Donna smiled. The baby girl had strawberry-blonde hair that resembled her father.
“Welcome, Claire,” She whispered.
“Donna?”
She turned to find Matt Santos, smiling. Donna could see the exhaustion in his eyes.
“Wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.”
“Me neither. How’s Helen? Dr. Griffith said she was having-”
“Yeah. She finally caved and got an epidural about 10 minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s not what you guys wanted.”
“No. But by this point, I would’ve done anything to take her pain away.”
“Fair enough.” Suddenly, she cringed as a contraction hit. She leaned against the wall and took a cleansing breath. She suddenly felt aware of Matt’s hand on her shoulder.
“Anything I can do?” He asked.
Donna shook her head.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, tears filling her eyes as she realized what she needed.
A second set of hands.
Josh’s hands.
She could hear him clear as day on the first night they met after that first Lamaze class. “ Sometimes you need someone or something to focus on. Or a second set of hands. ”
Donna felt her contraction ease, bringing her out of her thoughts.
“Donna, are you alright?” Matt asked carefully.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Donna….where’s Josh?”
Donna swallowed. “I asked him not to come. When we had that fight. It’s why he wasn’t at the last class.”
Matt smiled. “Look, Donna. I don’t know what went on between you and Josh, and Helen will be the first to tell you that I’m terrible at advice of any sort, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But I will say this: Josh has been nothing but good to you since you two met. And I think that he would’ve liked to be a father to your child-if his mother was willing to let her guard down enough to see it. And there’s nothing wrong with letting people see what’s on the inside.” He nodded. “I better get back to Helen before she wakes up. But think about what I said.”
Donna watched Matt leave, then walked back to her room. She sat on the bed and pulled out her overnight bag, which she used for work sometimes. She reached for her hot water bottle but came up with a piece of paper.
At first, she was confused, but she quickly realized it was from the sperm bank she used. It was her donor profile.
She read the profile. 39-year-old, Ivy League graduate. Family history of cancer on his father’s side. Worked in politics.
Huh, she thought. That was interesting.
She hesitated once more, then pulled out her cell phone.
…
Josh barreled into the room, barely registering that Donna was lying in bed, staring at the window across from the bed as a focal point, zeroing in on her breathing.
Josh rushed over, immediately concerned. He rushed over to the other side of the bed and started to rub her lower back as the monitors peaked and slowed.
“That’s nice,” Donna murmured. “Keep doing that.”
Josh smiled, continuing to rub her back as the contraction ebbed away.
Donna slowly turned around. “Thanks. For coming.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to call.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Josh whispered. “Just focus on the baby.”
“I will. But Josh, I was so awful to you, you’ve done so much for me-”
“Shh. Forget it. I forgive you.”
“You do?” Donna asked.
“You were scared. You had this whole plan to do this on your own, then I came along.”
Donna nodded.
“So…I understand where you’re coming from. But…you don’t have to be scared. You don’t ever have to be scared with me. Even if I’m on the outside, I will never not be here. If you want a dad or an uncle for this baby, you have one. I’ll respect whatever you want to do.”
“Okay,” Donna whispered.
Josh sat down and took her hand.
“Josh?”
“Yeah?”
“I think…I might be willing to see where this goes.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. After all, you’re still here, right?”
“Yeah,” Josh agreed. “I’m still here.”
…
Four hours later, Dr. Griffith held a squalling baby girl in her arms, which she placed on Donna’s chest.
“Hi, baby girl,” Donna said. “It’s nice to meet you out here.”
Josh smiled as Donna and the baby bonded instantly.
“Does Dad want to cut the cord?” The nurse asked.
“Oh, he’s not-”
Josh nodded. “It’s-it’s okay,” He whispered. Taking the scissors, he cut between the clamps.
Donna smiled at him weakly. “Thank you.”
Josh nodded. “You’re welcome.”
A few hours later, phone calls had been made, and Donna was resting with the baby in Josh’s arms.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Donna called.
Matt pushed the door open. “Thought you could use a visitor.”
Donna grinned as he pushed Helen in a wheelchair toward her bed. “How are you doing?”
“A lot better,” Helen answered truthfully. “Meet Miranda Rose Santos.”
“What a sweet name,” Donna smiled.
“What about you?”
“Meet Bethany Nicola Moss.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
Helen peered at her. Specifically, her hair. Now hatless, they could see that the baby had a head of soft brown curls. “Interesting.”
“What, honey?” Matt asked her.
“Well, if I don’t know any better, I’d say she got those brown curls from Josh.”
Donna froze. The flash of her donor profile appeared before her eyes.
39 years old.
Ivy League graduate.
Works in politics.
She looked at Josh, who looked confused before realization dawned on him.
A few years earlier, when he worked for John Hoynes, he had donated sperm. His father had just been diagnosed with cancer, and with no marriage prospects, he felt a pull to continue the family line.
“Is something wrong?” Helen asked. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, Helen. It’s just something we realized.”
“We’ll give you guys some space,” Matt said.
“I’ll see you at the post-birth reunion,” Helen said.
“Oh, God. The war stories hour.”
“I prefer birth experiences.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You think CJ will come?”
“Maybe. It would be nice to see her.”
They looked at each other meaningfully. CJ wasn't coming, and they knew it.
“I’ll see you, Helen.”
“Bye, Donna.”
The door clicked behind them.
Josh turned to her. Their eyes locked, and neither one had to say anything.
“Of all the gin joints in all the world…” Josh muttered.
“Josh…”
“Donna, did you know?” ‘
“No. I hadn’t even looked at the profile until last night. The pieces didn’t come together until now.”
Josh sat down. “Wow.”
“You think?”
“I guess it was…meant to be.”
“Meant to be?”
“You, me, her. We’re a family. It’s meant to be.”
Donna looked up at him. They leaned in for a kiss.
“You know,” Donna said as they pulled apart, “Dad’s a pretty good title for you.”
Josh eyed her. “Better than Lamaze coach?”
“Mm. Much, much better.”
“Hey. You broke your own promise.”
Donna shrugged. “I don’t care. I found someone worth breaking it for.”