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Jesse stared at his hands. They were calloused and scarred from both training and all the adventures he went on. He twisted them around, spotting even more scars on the back of his palm. One of them was from a simple training accident. Petra had been attempting to teach him how to handle his sword better when he made a stupid move and found his hand getting nicked by Miss Butters.
Petra…
He absentmindedly rubbed over the scar with his other hand as he thought about his best friend. Could he even still call her that? It wouldn’t surprise him if he couldn’t. They rarely ever talked anymore, despite their promises to go on more adventures together after the whole incident with the Admin.
Petra was the first to leave, Jesse recalls. It wasn’t because of an argument they had. No, it was simple because she had gotten restless. Restlessness thrummed under her skin while they recovered from their last adventure. She had an itch to explore the world that started to drive her insane the longer she stayed in Beacontown.
“I have to leave,” she said to him all those nights ago. “You, Lukas, Olivia, and Axel… you guys all have your things to do. You’ve found your purpose. I… haven’t.”
Can’t you find your purpose here? He remembered how the words clawed at the back of his throat, wanting to come out and spring forth. Do you have to leave? Why can’t you stay?
But it would be selfish of him to deny her this.
“Okay.” he had said. “You’re always welcome here at Beacontown.”
Her smile was small but no less genuine, “I’ll write to you and everyone else. I promise.”
And she did. Petra wrote to him - to all of them, really - about how her adventures were going. She detailed about seeing the long stretches of plains biomes, the unrelenting sun in deserts, the frigid coldness of icy biomes, and more. Eventually, however, the letters slowed down. They didn’t stop, no, but they noticeably decreased in both length and frequency.
It didn’t really help that since Petra constantly moved. Sending a response, invitation, or anything to her was nearly impossible. She didn’t have a fixed place where they could send her things so more often than not, all the letters he sent to her were sent back unopened. There was no reliable way to contact Petra at all.
Then, one day, the letters stopped.
He didn’t notice at first. Her letters were so far and few in between that he hardly realized the letters stopped coming in at all, but after a year of no contact, he almost thought she was dead. He scoured for days for any sign of her, of any rumors, gossip, or sightings. Eventually, he caught wind of her through the grapevine. She was doing just fine. More than fine, actually.
The warrior is really making a name for herself, huh? He heard someone say as he passed by, a hood covering his face. There was no need to draw attention to himself right now. It’s a good thing she left Beacontown. She’s doing so much good for us town folk out here.
Relieved she wasn’t dead, he decided to try and contact her one more time. One last effort. One last olive branch between them to rekindle their dying friendship.
The letter came back, unopened.
He didn’t try again.
–––
Axel and Olivia were the next to go.
There was no dramatic stop or big argument. No big anything, really. They just… got busy. That’s not to say they didn’t try to see each other. At first, they scheduled weekly meet-ups, rotating through their cities, but then their workloads became heavier as their respective cities grew. Obligations stacked higher and higher while priorities were rearranged. They went from weekly meetings, to monthly, to whenever they had the time. Then it became none at all.
Jesse wasn’t hurt by it, not at first. He understood the burden of being a leader. He had a town of his own, after all, but that didn’t mean he didn’t fight tooth and nail for even just a little time to spend with them. There were times when he stayed up late, way past midnight, signing off requests so that he’d have time to pop by Boom Town or Redstonia. His hopes were dashed, however, when he went over and realized Axel and Olivia were too busy to hang out with him, even when he was physically there. It disappointed him, sure, but there was always next time, right?
“Sorry, Jesse,” a tired smile painted both their faces. “I wish I could hang out, but I was planning to work on a few of my neglected projects…”
“Yeah, sorry dude,” awkward shifting from foot to foot, apologetic expressions on display. “I promised the griefers we’d have a TNT rally that would last a week at least. Maybe next time.”
Again, and again, and again.
It frustrated him to no end that they kept on rescheduling. Is this what Petra felt when they kept on missing their adventures? It was embarrassing, to be told ‘another time’ over and over. It was humiliating, visiting Boom Town and Redstonia only to come back empty-handed, posture defeated. When the locals started to send him pitying looks, he decided to stop. There was no need to look like a desperate puppy, begging for attention from its owner.
Still, he sent letters. He sent all kinds of letters from updates to invitations - even diplomatic ones as the Hero in Residence of Beacontown. Just like with Petra, however, those began to dwindle until all that was left were unopened letters and formal business inquiries in a handwriting he didn’t recognize. Maybe Axel and Olivia hired someone to sort their mail out?
Loneliness clawed at him, begging him to see his friends, even if for just a little bit. Anything was better than being left alone in the cold Order Hall, his only companions being the displayed treasures and…
Reuben.
He shook his head. No, there was no need to wallow in self-pity right now, not when there were more important things to focus on. He was far too busy to feel sorry for himself. He needed to get things done.
(He visited Reuben’s little corner later that night, nightmares keeping him awake from the soothing numbness of sleep. He didn’t do anything except stare when he sat in front of it. Stared until the display was burned into his brain, sharp needle-like pricks lighting up his legs. Without a word, he picked himself up once the first rays of sun started to shine through the glass of the window.
There were things to do.)
–––
“I’m sorry, Jesse,” Lukas glanced off to the side, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. He seemed to find the red carpet interesting. “I don’t… I think it’s time I close this chapter of my life for a while.”
“...What?”
Had he been in a better place mentally, maybe his reaction wouldn’t have been so… desperate.
“You’re… Lukas, you’re leaving?” His question sounded a bit frantic, even to him. Lukas seemed to think so as he soothingly put both his hands up, expression shifting into one of concern. “Why are you leaving?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love adventuring with you. Getting all these different treasures is a lot of fun but don’t you think we should slow down at least? Petra, Axel, and Olivia don’t even come along anymore. Isn’t that a sign that we should stop as well?”
Jesse’s hands curled up into fists, tremors shaking them lightly. No, Lukas couldn’t leave. He couldn’t abandon him too. If he lost another friend right here and now, he wasn’t sure if he could keep it together. He wasn’t sure if he could keep on going if another part of his crumbling support system up and left.
“No.”
“...No? Jesse, what-”
“I said,” his hands were most definitely shaking. “NO!”
The shout startled them both. Chest heaving and eyes wild, Jesse stared at Lukas, silently begging him not to go. Please , something inside of him wailed, please don’t go.
But his begging was for naught. Lukas’ expression twisted, thinly concealed irritation paired with exhaustion shining through. It was suddenly evident to Jesse how tired Lukas looked. There was no doubt that the latter had been strained by their constant adventures. It seemed to take a toll that Jesse could only see now.
“What do you mean ‘no’?” Lukas’ voice was sharp.
“Lukas, I-”
“Look, Jesse, I’ve been going along with your lead for months now and every time I ask to take a break, you brush me off and drag me on another adventure. I’m sick of it.”
“Wait, let me-”
“Sometimes I wonder if what I say actually matters to you.” He scoffed, eyebrows pinched. “I’m sorry, Jesse, but I’m not willing to put up with this any longer. I don’t need to put myself through this more than necessary.”
Without waiting, Lukas began to walk towards the exit of the Order Hall.
“...Please don’t go,” the whisper rung out like a fired arrow in the quiet hall. All Jesse could do was beg. “Don’t leave.”
He paused, “...Leave me alone, Jesse.”
Lukas walked out.
Jesse hasn’t seen him since.
–––
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was left here all alone. He did the best he could. Why is this his reward? Aren’t heroes supposed to live happily ever after? Where is his happy end?
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be better. They were meant to be better. So why did they end up like this? Just like the Old Order, here they were separated across the map. Just like their predecessors, they were spread thin like paper. Lukas was gone, Axel and Olivia were in their corners of the world, and Petra was who knows where.
This wasn’t fair.
I’m so lonely.
This isn’t fair.
Don’t leave me, please.
He won’t let it end like this.
It already has.
…
(They abandoned you.)