BroZone Family Planning!

by MingTheGod

Summary:

Come join BroZone as they have be prepared to actually become a better family for Branch! Then go with John Dory as you discover that he had 8 exes! Floyd used to be a what? Since when!? Broppy highschool couple in the hallway and free Bruce and Clay.

Chapter 1: NARCH

John Dory and his brothers were going to trollstopia after getting Floyd back from the fame-succubi Velvet and Veneer.

It was quiet in Rhonda. Poppy and Branch were asleep while JD was in the front driving. “It’s going to take us a little while longer to get to Troll Village.”.

And as soon as Poppy heard 'Troll Village'. She shot up and shouted, “It’s Trollstopia!!” Branch was a little nervous when she shouted and flinched.

"Poppy, stop shouting; you know it reminds me of when grandma got eaten.” “I thought it was because you’re a tiny bit noise-sensitive?” Poppy tilted her head and said she was confused as to why her princess was lying.

Clay then rolled their eyes and shrugged their shoulders. ”Typical John Dory always gets things wrong.” “I.Do.Not!” “Yuh-huh” “Nuh-huh!”. “Guys! Stop, you know Branch is noise sensitive!” Branch whined as he clutched his ears in pain.

John felt like Narch could do things by himself without using the queen for everything.

"Look, Narch, you gotta stop having this tantrum. I know I walked out on you first, but this is so inappropriate of you!” JD claims he raised his voice at the end. Arms spread out in disbelief.

Branch was having a meltdown on the cold,hard, and dirty ass floor. John had his musty paws on. All of the noises and how it reminded him of his grandmother, who got eaten by a Bergen when he was four.

Poppy saw this and felt bad for her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, Nar-I mean Branch, for not minding my vocal tone.” He looked up at her. Eyes glistening with tears.

Bruce looked over at the scene that was playing out. Seeing Narch’s annoying face. Eyes rimmed red and snot everywhere. “Bleh- disgusting…” Bruce whispered to himself.

“It’s okay, Branchie. You’re still my muffin!” Poppy exclaimed, eyes wide with admiration. Branch stopped his crying, then snuffled his nose. ”-sniff- r-really?” “Duhh! You’re my princess. Aren’t you my princess! I will always love you, Na-Branch!” Poppy says as she gives kisses to Branch’s tear-stained cheek. ”I’m your princess!” Branch as he childishly giggles.

John Dory watches this play out. He put Rhonda on autopilot, so he can watch it.

He swears Narch is a dramatic pussy who somehow pulled a queen and is now enjoying being called a princess.

John isn't homophobic or anything… but this gives him the chills. Maybe because he had trolls just like that.
John Dory facepalms and sighs very loudly. That wakes up Floyd, who was sleeping after being used as a troll microphone. But then go back to sleep.

Bruce was having a terrible day. His brother had yelled at him for a mistake he didn't even make. He swears that if JD calls him by his dead name again, he’s gonna-

As he sat on the couch, he couldn't help but let out a loud sigh and facepalm. Just then, in the passenger seat, Floyd stirred awake.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at Bruce with a confused expression. "What's wrong, Spruce?" Floyd asked. Bruce simply shook his head. "It’s Bruce now; John Dory is being annoying again with his-well with everything." Floyd patted his paw sympathetically and said, "Well, I’m sorry he’s making you feel frustrated."

“Bruce, how has Branch been doing since I went to sleep?” Floyd says, "Oh. Narch has been acting sort of prissy. However, that’s just his typical behavior.” Bruce folds his arms. Floyd frowned upon that.

Bruce looks over at the lovesick couple and Mr. Lonely. Then he nodded his head in shame.

Bruce knows that JD has moments when he needs attention, even though he can’t spell rhythm or dinosaur. Oh, Bruce remembers the band days where John had to get their 11-year-old sibling to read and spell words for him. Then denied it. Those were the good days.

Rhonda suddenly came to a huge stop. The RV shook, causing Branch to fall to the ground. “AHHHHH!!” He screamed and cried dramatically. “Snuggle-Muffin!” Poppy erupted ,quickly going down to his aid. “Are you okay, baby? You need me to kiss it better?” Poppy then gives sloppy kisses to his face while hugging him. “LETS GO, LOVEBIRDS!!” John screams, jealousy in his eyes.

Clay helped Floyd up and outside so he wouldn’t stress himself out while walking. Poppy sprinted towards her father in anger. “WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I HAD A SISTER!” Peppy then put the pep in his step to get away from the pink fireball. “You were too young to understand, Poppy!” That only made her even angrier. Poppy tried to grab on to her father; her boyfriend stopped her.

"Poppy, this isn’t like you! You can’t act like this if I carry our children! So please calm down; all we need is some rest. Okay?” Even though Poppy is an Alpha... She had to listen to her mate. "Alright, then I know you’re sleepy because of the Perfect Family Harmony. Come on, let’s go to my pod.”

Afterwards, she picked Branch up bridal style. Branch started to purr loudly. Poppy looked down and smiled, walking towards her pod.

The brothers looked at the scene playing out; some were disgusted (John Dory) and others were happy that their younger brother has someone who loves him.

“I swear I hate the gays.” John looks at the couple while crossing his arms. “John. I’m gay as well.” Floyd looks at his eldest brother in disbelief. “No,no, no you’re different.” “How??” John just smiled as he walked to the town-square of Trollstopia. “I fucking CANT with that guy!?” Clay rubbed their temples. “Agreed.” Bruce and Floyd added on.

 

Peppy had a urinary accident after his daughter scared him.

Chapter 2: Holy smokes a tree!

Summary:

The siblings try and go to the bunker but JD runs off to who knows where

Clay and their brothers were walking to the bunker that Branch made.

Bruce had to drag John with them because he didn’t want to go into ‘Narch's underground house; he might kill him or something’ he quoted. Clay maybe just wants JD gone, not like dead gone but far away gone.

 

They are tired of Bruce and John Dory, mostly John Dory making fun of the youngest brother.

“Maybe it’s because he was in the woods by himself for 20 or so years…” Clay mumbles to their self.

 

“Clay! Clay,Clayyyyy! Tell Spruce-”Bruce” …Bruce to put me down. I promise I will not run away anymore” “You said that 6 times already, John!” Clay shouted, getting frustrated at their eldest brother's antics. He isn’t a teenager anymore, so why is he still acting like this?

John then wiggled his way out of Bruce’s hold and tried to tackle Clay.

 

Clay sees this and steps away from his running view. “Ugh, Clay, let me tackle you! This isn’t fair to me!” John pouted, then put up his trademark smile. “Come on, Clay I was just playing! Live a little." As he playfully punch their arm.
Clay just groaned and muttered something under their breath.

 

John Dory's ears started to twitch as he heard something in the distance.

“ITS TAXING TIME! ITS TAXING TIME!”

JD heard this and had a crazed look on his face as he turned to look at his smartest middle child.

John frowned as he started to realize what Clay CAN do. They’re a CPA right? That means experience of doing taxes…

 

John stared at the sky as he pondered. Clay is a NERD. NERDS do math.

 

John started to breathe hard, and his eyes darted around. “ Clayyyyyy! You know you are my favorite nonbinary sibling I’ve-“I’m the only one.” Ever have! Sooo, just for this time only... can you, can you do something for me, pretty pleaseeeee?" John whined as he sat in a prayer position.

But Bruce caught on to this and place his hold on him once more.

“I swear on everything, John, if you don’t get moving.” Bruce was trying to distract him. From his genius plans he has! Well, screw him. He knows what he wants.

John Dory is tried of being a sheep for this ungrateful family!

Floyd runs a hand down his face and sighs loudly, “Oh. My. God. I swear he needs help, like professional help.” Clay nods in agreement, “definitely.”.

 

Bruce has a hold on JD as he continues to drag his eldest brother by the hair. “URGHH, YOUR HURTING ME! YOUR HURTING ME! LET GO OF MEEEEEE! BEFORE I GET THE OWLMAN ON YOUUUU” John Dory screams as he tries to bite Bruce.

Legs dragging along the dirt. “JD! It’s no such thing as the Owlman! It’s fake. Not real.” Bruce claims.

 

It took JD two attempts to bite his hand, but he finally succeeded. -chomp- He bit Bruce’s hand as he glazed his teeth just hard enough to make him let go. “JOHNATHON DORIAN!” Bruce screamed. JD cackled as he ran on all fours, far away from his family.

 

Floyd just looks done as he watches him go into the woods. “He really never did change...”.

 

Bruce clutched his hand in pain. “shitttt”. Clay walks over to inspect his injury and says, “Whew, that looks bad; I'll probably have to take you to the doctor tomorrow just in case you get rabies.”

 

“Come on guys,we gotta go to Branch’s bunker.” Floyd reminded. Clay helped Bruce up and wrapped his injured hand in some herbs and a leaf they found. "Yeah, let’s go.”

 

______________________________

 

When the siblings finally got to Branch’s bunker. Branch was waiting with a frown on his face. “Where were you at? It’s been hours!”

He felt so betrayed right now because he thought his siblings done abandoned him again.

 

“Sorry Bitty B we got lost, then John Dory kept on trying to escape, then he actually escaped, then next he bit Bruce. Andddd now we’re here.” Clay explained. “J-just get in here please.” Branch whispers.

As the rock lifts up showing an elevator system. Clay looks around the lifting station.

 

“Ohh, nice electrical system; very well designed”. Branch showers from the compliment his older sibling gave him.

 

“Wow Branch is this the hideout?” Floyd smiled looking at him. “Yeah I build it a couple of years after you left. And when g-grandma died.” Branch frowns, crow lines getting more recognizable.

 

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault okay. It’s not your fault” floyd puts his paw on branch’s back to comfort him. Branch just looks to him and gives a small smile.

 

As the lift reached to the bottom floor of the bunker. “So where is John Dory? And where is he going?” Branch asks. “Knowing him either back to Rhonda or in the woods being feral.” Bruce answered.

 

______________________________

 

John was running. He needs to find that voice.

JD needed more money since he spent all of his BroZone savings on stuff—good stuff. And with Clay as the smart and serious one, he will succeed.

 

“FREE TAXES! ENLIST NOW!”

There’s that voice again. John Dory can feel himself getting closer to it.

His legs came to a stop on what looked like a tree with a hole in the bottom—not big enough for a fully grown trolls but small enough for a trolling.

 

“Hello, John,” the voice says to him.

 

“Whoaa, how do you know my name? YOU BETTER NOT BE THE GOVERNMENT! IF SO IM GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU!” John screams.

 

“Oh,no,no,no. I’m an entity; even better, I’m a god. I can make wishes come true. I CAN make your reality real life.” The Voice eagerly answered.

 

John tilted his head, then clapped his hands like an idiot. “My dreams? Even if I want my own TV show! If you say yes, I’m gonna have to make this deal,then.”

 

The Voice just laughs. “Yes John. Even a TV show if that’s what you desire. I promise . Do we have an agreement.”

John thought for a moment and shook his head repeatedly. “Yep. I swear this TV show with my bros is going to be so funny and crazy! They won’t see it coming.”

 

JD was going to turn around to try and look for Narch's bunker. He stopped and turned around to the tree once more. “Hey, like, what’s your name, Voice?”

 

The tree shook as if it were laughing. “Voice? Oh, hoho, that’s a first. But everyone calls me The Eye . And you will see the ‘TV Show’ crew members in the morning at your youngest brother Branch’s home. That’s all for today, Johnathan .”

JD felt chills running down his spine when the tree talked, but he shrugged it off as the wind getting in. He nodded his head in approval and left.

Notes:

Imagine making a deal with something that resembles a TREE and go to my tumblr @mingthegod I’m gonna draw art of this on there

Notes:

Guys it was 3am when I wrote this