Chapter Text
Yuuta squinted at the bright sunlight as he stepped out of the recording studio that afternoon. He patted his pockets, searching for his sunglasses. Damn it. In the chaos of trying to get out of the dorm on time for the morning meeting, he’d forgotten them again. Would he ever be properly prepared? Yuuta heaved a heavy sigh as he braved the summer heat.
On his way home, the sun relentlessly beat down his neck, causing his shirt to cling disgustingly to his back. Yuuta hated feeling sticky and it wasn’t like the comeback hadn’t already made him sweat enough. Everyone had been preparing for the past month but, of course, Yuuta had borne the brunt of it all. As the leader, the responsibility of ensuring the return went smoothly fell squarely on his shoulders. He constantly worried whether he could carry the weight of it all, but understood the part he’d have to play when he accepted the position. Yet, his anxiety never subsided and Yuuta found today exceptionally difficult. So much so that he almost wished he had stayed home in the countryside – living a quiet life instead.
His head began to swirl with “what ifs” as he made his way down the sidewalk. What if the comeback failed? What if he hadn’t worked everything out with the company before they returned? What if all of their hard work went to waste because they didn’t get the marketing they needed? What if their music just didn’t sell this time? What if their fans were mad at them because Yuuta wasn’t a good enough leader to ensure a successful comeback?
The low hum of a car approached from behind him, filling his ears and pulling him out of the spiral. As it flew past him kicking up street debris and whipping his hair around wildly in its wake, Yuuta remembered why he was doing all of this. He wanted more for himself, but he could only get that in this city.
He slung his jacket over his shoulder and fixed his hair as he turned the corner toward the dormitory. For three years he had been a trainee, for three years he had relentlessly worked to achieve his goal, and for three years all Yuuta heard were “nos.” But, finally, after one more desperate attempt, Yuuta received a “yes.” So, he determined that no matter how frustrated or stressed he felt, Yuuta would never return to the country after getting a taste of what he’d dreamed of for so long.
He turned the corner to see that the house appeared mostly empty. The blinds were drawn in Itadori and Junpei’s room, signaling the two must have already left for the day. He checked the time. Barely noon. He nodded at his phone, impressed by the two younger members being out before their more responsible counterpart, Megumi.
Sighing in relief to finally be home, Yuuta pulled out his keys and unlocked the front door to let himself inside. It swung open to reveal Megumi reading in the living room without another soul in sight. His suspicions were correct. “Where did the others go already this morning?”
“Yuuji and Junpei said they wanted to find new outfits to do our rehearsal videos in and Panda had an interview with one of those magazines,” he informed without looking up.
“New book?” Yuuta pointed.
“No. Rereading my third favorite.”
“That’s uh…awesome! Glad to hear you have some free time on your hands right now.” Yuuta tried to smile as he removed his outdoor shoes and placed them on the rack in exchange for the house slippers. Hooking a finger into the heel of his left shoe, he nearly topped over but caught himself at the last second. Hoping his clumsiness had gone unnoticed, Yuuta slowly looked over at Megumi. Thankfully, he seemed to have missed the embarrassing moment.
With a sigh of relief, Yuuta finished removing his shoes and walked toward his dorm room, dropping his jacket on the arm of the living room sofa on his way. As the latch clicked open, Yuuta pictured himself flopping onto his mattress in hopes of having a moment alone. But, before he even pushed the door into the room, Megumi stated, “You’re stressed.”
Yuuta whipped his head around to find that Megumi still hadn’t looked up from his book. Trying to hide the waver in his voice, Yuuta quipped, “What gives you that idea?”
“We share a room. I know when you have nightmares. Plus, your makeup isn’t hiding your eye bags very well today.” Megumi deadpanned, turning a page as if talking about the weather.
“I have those often,” Yuuta crossed his arms and stepped forward. “They’re not uncom–”
“Not three in one night.”
Yuuta couldn’t argue that. It was true he suffered from nightmares, but their frequency definitely increased during high-stress periods. It frustrated him that the thing he admired the most about Megumi also made it to where he couldn’t hide anything from him either. He always knew when something was up with Yuuta, whether Yuuta wanted him to know it or not.
So, he conceded. “Okay, you’re right.”
Megumi pointed at something on the page before closing his book and turning around to finally look at Yuuta. Dark eyes glared at him under a furrowed brow. Megumi’s half-hearted star appeared just about as sleepy as Yuuta felt. A pang of guilt washed over him as Yuuta realized the undue concern he’d caused his other member. Sheepishly, he apologized to Megumi, “I didn’t mean to keep you awake. Maybe I’ll sleep on the couch tonight instea–”
Megumi shook his head at Yuuta, “You’re not getting it.”
“I–I’m sorry. What am I not getting…?” Yuuta crept backward toward the door again. He reached out, searching for the handle behind him but kept fumbling to find it. Before he realized it, Megumi had cornered him, causing his hand to halt its search.
“You need to sleep. I need to sleep,” Megumi started in the earnest but stern tone he normally only took with Itadori. “In order to do that, you need to relax.” Strict eyes searched Yuuta’s face as if they were checking to make sure he understood what was being said. With a small gulp, Yuuta nodded and Megumi backed off.
Megumi crossed over to the shelf, put his book away, and then turned to Yuuta. “Why don’t we go to the dance studio for a few hours?”
“Ye–yeah.” Yuuta nodded, hastily opening the door to grab his duffle bag. He slung it over his shoulder and gestured towards the front door. “Let’s.”
Yuuta wiped his brow with the tail of his shirt as he lined up in front of the mirror to run the choreo one last time. He and Megumi had been at it for hours. Together, they cranked through their setlist over and over again, even throwing in some of their favorites from other groups to keep the session fresh. As the music started up, Yuuta squared up with his reflection.
Sweat trickled down his face from where his hair plastered itself against his temple and he blinked away the weariness he began to feel. His muscles burned beneath his skin, but Yuuta needed this last song. At the top of the verse, he hit the opening pose without missing a beat. He even double-checked his hand placement, grateful that he’d finally nailed it after fumbling it the last three rehearsals. When the verse picked up, his feet naturally found their rhythm; allowing him to get lost in the moment. Nearing the end of the bridge, Yuuta snapped his head toward the mirror for a “fan moment” and found himself smiling from ear to ear. When was the last time he’d let loose like this?
As the chorus rolled around, Yuuta glided toward the back of the room, allowing Megumi to take up the front. He watched Megumi’s reflection carefully as he began tutting to the beat. Yuuta tried to follow along the best he could, but still managed to mess up the third to last move. He bit his lip in frustration. He’d have to ask Megumi to walk him through it after they finished.
Eventually, the song reached its last refrain and Yuuta’s chest heaved as his feet carried him effortlessly to the final pose. As he clasped his hands together at his waist, he couldn’t help but wink at his reflection. Pride swelled in his chest as he replayed the last run in his mind. He’d managed to nail almost the entire choreo on the fourth try. How could his day get any better than that?
As Megumi walked toward the stereo to stop the music, Yuuta heaved a breathy laugh, “Thanks for suggesting this.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Megumi wiped his face and grabbed his water bottle. “I just want you to sleep so that I can sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yuuta chuckled, “I’m sure I will after that workout.” He walked over to his bag and pulled out his water bottle and phone to check his messages. He clicked the screen open to find:
2 New Messages - Itadori
1 New Message - Panda
1 Missed Call - Itadori
He sighed. So much for relaxing. He had three members who were likely back at the house, wondering where he and Megumi were since neither one of them had picked up their phones.
“I’ll call them.” Megumi offered and Yuuta thanked him before taking a breather. He waved his thanks once again as Megumi dipped out of the room. Once the door closed, Yuuta plopped down on the bench inside the studio and pulled out his phone to check his emails.
Just as he had expected, multiple unopened emails lay in wait in Yuuta’s inbox from the company manager. These days Yuuta swore he never caught a break from it. Megumi worried about his sleep schedule, but at this rate, the time after he awoke from the nightmares seemed to be the only time Yuuta could get to himself. He groaned and clicked his phone closed as Megumi popped back in.
“We should probably go. It’s almost dinner time and we promised to eat together this evening.”
“Right,” Yuuta quipped as he searched the room, trying to remember.
He stood up hastily, slinging his bag over his shoulder, and marched towards the door. Of course, he’d forgotten that they all made dinner plans that night. He’d been so wrapped up in continuous meetings with the manager, helping pick out stuff for marketing, interviewing with magazines, setting up the timeline of the tour, contacting local talk shows about potential airings, preparing for the awards show, and scheduling studio time for himself and the group that he was starting to forget the day-to-day things. Sure, as the leader he needed to oversee anything pertaining to the group’s career path, but that didn’t give him any room for excuses for lapses in maintaining functionality and comradery in their daily lives.
How could he be so thought–
He stumbled into a smaller frame, nearly knocking the person over. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t been paying attention to anything in front of him. When did he become so self-absorbed in his own problems that he failed to exercise common decency?
“I’m so sorry,” he profusely apologized, lightly grabbing the person by the shoulders in an attempt to pull them back upright after he slammed into them. “I wasn’t watching where I was going. It’s my…” Yuuta’s breath hitched, stalling his words as he caught sight of deep violet eyes hidden behind platinum blond hair. Time slowed as they looked up at him and Yuuta softly murmured the end of his apology. “–fault.”
Had he ever seen someone so striking before?
“Ehem.” Megumi cleared his throat, pulling Yuuta back to the present and away from the vast pools of purple that had him mesmerized. When the world came back into focus, Yuuta felt the warm weight in his hands. Looking down, he found that he was still holding the other man’s arms. His face flushed as he ripped his hands away.
“I’m so sorry.”
The shorter man bowed to him, frantically waving his hands. When he stood back up to look at Yuuta, the man pointed at his chest with four fingers and moved his hand across his pec and up towards his shoulder.
Yuuta stared at the other man, perplexed by the motion. What did that mean? Then, when the stranger did it again, he pointed to Yuuta first this time.
“He’s asking if you’re okay,” Megumi practically whispered in Yuuta’s ear, spooking him.
“What?” Yuuta’s brain fried the moment he laid eyes on the other man, clearly not computing.
“It’s JSL?” Megumi dead-panned.
JSL? If the look of judgment on Megumi’s face was anything to go by, Yuuta surmised he should have known what the hand gestures meant. JSL…Japanese Sign Language? Panda had used it a few times in some of their interviews, but he’d never met anyone who used it in daily life. Wait - why would the guy he bumped into be using that? Unless…
Holy shit… Yuuta was an even bigger asshole than he thought. Not only did he run into this guy, he probably hadn’t even heard Yuuta coming to begin with. Then, Yuuta rambled on and on, spouting off words so feverishly that the other guy probably didn’t even understand what Yuuta was saying.
Yuuta dragged his hands down his face, then looked squarely at the man he had run into. He needed to make sure he knew how sorry Yuuta was for not paying attention and nearly knocking him over.
“I’m. Sorry.” Yuuta started slowly, enunciating every syllable. “I. didn’t. mean. to. run. into. you.”
With a gentle eye squint that hinted at signs of a smile hidden behind a face mask, the blond waved his hand once again. He shook his head no and then waved his hand next to his face, followed by a sign near his mouth.
Yuuta floundered for a moment, trying to decipher what the other man had said, but after coming up empty, he looked over his shoulder for help from Megumi.
“He’s mute, not deaf,” he deadpanned and Yuuta heaved a sigh of relief. He still felt awful for running into the guy, but at least he had heard his apology.
“Again. I’m. sorry.” Yuuta enunciated each word carefully once more as his stomach overturned from the mixture of embarrassment and guilt.
“He’s mute, not deaf.” Megumi reiterated.
Yuuta flushed…God, could he get any more embarrassing? He hid his face behind his hand, hoping – wishing – he would vanish from existence. He had just started praying to whatever god would listen that he’d appreciate it if the ground could open up to swallow him whole when a sound as faint as a whisper filled the air.
When Yuuta looked up, he found the blond clutching his sides in silent laughter. He paused for a moment, mouth agape. Yuuta had somehow managed to make him laugh despite being rude. All Yuuta could do was sit and watch as the other man finished laughing and pulled his bag around to grab a pin off of it.
Forgiving eyes looked back at Yuuta as the shorter man held out a pin that read:
Hello. My name is:
Inumaki Toge
The name had clearly been sharpied on the pin and Yuuta couldn’t help but smile at the cleverness of it. “Inumaki Toge,” he read under his breath. With a charming smile, Yuuta held out his hand, “Okkotsu Yuuta.”
Inumaki playfully flitted his hand away and pointed towards his head.
“He knows who you are.” Megumi translated.
“Oh…right I guess that would make sense.” Yuuta scratched the back of his neck. He couldn’t quite get used to the fact that complete strangers knew who he was. Honestly, the fact that Inumaki knew of him made the encounter worse. He couldn’t be “just some guy” that Inumaki ran into on his way to the dance studio that evening.
“I really am sorry,” Yuuta slumped, “I wasn’t paying attention. I hope you can forgive me.”
Inumaki pulled out a palm-sized notebook and pen from his bag, scrawled on it quickly, and then turned it around for Yuuta to read:
It’s okay. I know it was an accident. I should have been paying attention as well.
“No, no. It’s not your fault! You were just trying to walk inside and I should have been more careful. I–I just should have watched where I was going.” Yuuta tried to deflect any responsibility that Inumaki placed on himself. He hated the thought that Inumaki would take any of the blame for Yuuta’s mistake. He was the one caught up in his own head, he was the one who plowed through the door like the building was on fire, and he was the one who had run into another person. None of this was Inumaki’s fault.
I was looking for something in my bag and didn’t see you coming. I wasn’t paying attention either. Inumaki had written down and practically shoved the notebook in Yuuta’s face like he was demanding that Yuuta let it go.
A firm hand squeezed Yuuta’s shoulder. “We have three hungry men at our house. We need to go.”
“Oh, right.” Yuuta had been so entranced by the attractive stranger that he’d nearly forgotten about the others. “We should probably get going,” he agreed, then turned back to Inumaki. “I’m sorry again. Hopefully, we’ll see you around?” He gave a sheepish smile and part of him really hoped that they would.
Inumaki nodded yes and slightly bowed before slipping past the two. Megumi started to push Yuuta out the door, but Yuuta couldn’t stop himself from glancing over his shoulder at Inumaki one last time.
The other man had already started stretching in the mirror when Yuuta found his eyes in the reflection. Inumaki winked as he caught Yuuta giving him a once over and returned to his pre-workout as if he’d never seen Yuuta to begin with. Abashed, Yuuta whipped his head around as if he’d witnessed a murder and buried his face in his hand. His cheeks flamed as Megumi continued to shove him out the door. Yuuta wished he could evaporate from this plane of existence.
He grumbled and finally complied, making his way out the door.
Yuuta and Megumi walked in silence for a while and the entire time, Yuuta replayed the encounter with Inumaki over and over in his head. He flushed at the thought of having Inumaki firmly in his arms after nearly knocking him over. The shorter man had been all lean muscle under Yuuta’s palms and his eyes…Yuuta would never forget them. They were striking and oh-so captivating. Yuuta couldn’t help the way his lips turned up as he reminisced on their expressiveness. “Eyes are the windows to the soul,” Yuuta had been told , but he craved more.
“When did you learn JSL?” Yuuta asked as he and Megumi turned the corner of their favorite boba shop. Yuuta had never witnessed Megumi use JSL before their run-in with Inumaki. So, when did he learn it?
“It's hard not to pick up a few things when Panda uses it as frequently as he does.” He shrugged.
Sure, Panda signed pretty frequently during interviews and at home, but he hadn’t picked anything up and neither of the other guys seemed to either. Sure, Megumi had the best observation skills out of the group, but he had translated Inumaki’s signs as if he were fluent. Slightly suspicious that Megumi hadn’t shared the entire truth, Yuuta peered at him.
Megumi continued to strut casually down the sidewalk beside him, shoulders relaxed and staring ahead, giving nothing for Yuuta to examine. His face wore the same static scowl as he probed, “Is there something else you’d like to ask me?”
Yuuta squinted, scrutinizing him further. “You know more JSL than someone who watches it in passing.”
“You’re right,” Megumi admitted like it was water rolling off his back, “Panda has been giving me lessons.” Without batting an eye, he added, “I’m sure he could teach you too so that way you can talk to that blond guy the next time you see him.”
The next time Yuuta saw him? Did Megumi really think they’d see Inumaki again? And why was Yuuta’s skin warming up and his chest tightening at the thought of it? He didn’t even know the guy and yet, he found himself imagining running into him again already– just, not literally this time.