The Chronicles of BadEggs

by AmusedReader1598

Summary:

Chad is a YouTuber, and this universe's version of Mr. Beast is like if a suffering YouTuber had a baby with Mischa Bachinski from Ride the Cyclone, Jaiden is the Chandler from Mr. Beast in this situation, and also Chad’s “best friend,” and Brianna is the Karl of the group, but if Karl were a Valley girl, they have a Mr. Beast like YouTube and Twitch channel called BagEggs. The channels have around 243 million subscribers each, and they get invited to events such as Vidcon, TwitchCon, and Vidsummit. They go all over the place to do different things and videos, and usually antics ensue, so come along for the fun.

Chapter 1: Obnoxious Brand Placement

Chad, Brianna, and Jaiden are doing a video about who can do different things in public without getting embarrassed and quitting, but they also have a bunch of sponsors. They are currently outside of a target with Brianna setting up the camera, and Chad is wearing a cow costume, as is Jaiden. Brianna presses record.

Chad: "Hey dudes and dudettes, today here with Jaiden and Brianna, we’re giving out 1 billion dollars to every person who asks us why we’re wearing cow costumes."

Jaiden: "But first, the cow costumes were given to us by our sponsor for this video, Spirit Christmas. They make everything with added dyes and sugar and are all-around great to wear, even with all the allegations."

Brianna: "I’m not wearing a cow costume, but I’m recording this video using this super-great Hydro Pro 3.0 ‘not exploding’ camera given to us by our other lovely sponsor, Bannana."

Chad: "But first, we have my super cool Vesie shoes, which are not waterproof and were given to us by our other sponsor, Vesie."

Jaiden: "Come on, bro, let’s go wear these non-locally sourced wool cow costumes."

He was hit by the realization that the cow costumes are made out of wool, which he is allergic to.
Chad: "Wait, shit, I'm allergic to wool! Noooooo, Jaiden, remember me." He then dramatically falls to the floor, obviously milking it for the camera.

Brianna then speaks, sounding confused and worried.
Brianna: "Noooooooooo, Chad.” She then completely changes tone to sound upbeat and more like her regular valley girl voice.
“And don’t forget we’re using Darlene’s Happy Time Hospital for all our allergy needs.”

Jaiden is in the corner, checking Chad's pulse and making sure he’s actually okay as he takes off Chad’s cow costume.

Brianna: "Anyway, Chad is totally fine. Don’t worry guys, but, uh, see you next time, peace out.” She then turns the camera off and runs back over to Chad and Jaiden.

Jaiden: “Do you know where his epipen is?”

Brianna: "Uhhh, fuck no, I forgot the film bag today.”

Jaiden: “Damn it, ok, call an ambulance.”

Brianna goes off to the side to call an ambulance, and while she does that, Jaiden notices that Chad is struggling to breathe, so he raises his shoulders.

Jaiden: “You’ll be ok, I swear. Also, the ambulance is on its way, so hey, maybe your mom will be here.”

A few moments later, the ambulance comes up and parks nearby, and some paramedics rush over to Jaiden and Chad.

Paramedic 1: “What exactly happened to him?”

Jaiden: Long story short, we were doing a video when he accidentally got some wool on him. He is deathly allergic to wool, and we don’t have his epipen with us today.”

Paramedic 2: "Ok, we’ll get him an epipen. I would suggest next time you have an extra one on you just in case.”

Jaiden: “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Disclaimer: Chad survived because he has plot armor.

The end!

Chapter 2: Chad Pizza

Summary:

Chad does a video with Jaiden

Chad: Yo guys, today we are giving $10,000 and a brand new Tesla to the next pizza guy that walks through that door.
(Knock on door)
Jerry: Ummmmmmmm pizza delivery for... Chad. (laughs) Chadington
Chad: Thank you. As your tip for this amazing pizza, we are giving you a brand new Tesla and $10,000.
Jerry: really…..no…. No, really? This would be so much help. I have 21 kids, and they all work at Subway with me, so I’m having to go to school since we are so broke from my divorce from my wife.
Chad: Yes, really, what’s your name?
Jerry: Oh, my name is Jerry MacTavish. To say it again, thank you so much. This is going to help out my family so much that I will never be able to repay you.
Chad: Oh, wait, you’re like never going to be able to pay me back. Never mind, man, go home.
Jerry: (on the ground) No, no, I beg you, I need this money for my 50 children who just multiplied. Why?
Chad: (cringing) Jaiden, get the car we need to get away (runs away).

Chapter 3: Thanksgiving Dinner

Summary:

The dinner after Jaiden posts his coming out video

(Awkwardly eating)

Jaiden: So, Mom, how's work?

Penny: Oh, you know, people get hurt; we try to fix it. Same old, same old.

Ricky: So, now you take an interest in our lives.

Penny: (kicking Ricky's leg) Be quiet

Ricky: what!!!!!! Chad has been quiet all night, and Jaiden hasn't talked till now.

Chad: Um, well, sir. (cut off by Jaiden)

Jaiden: Dad, stop

(Jasmine and Jane look at their father in sync and also talk in sync; they also have British accents and are the only people that have them.)

Jane and Jasmine: What’s wrong, father? Do you have a problem?

Ricky: (gets creeped out) Uh no (whispers the next part) Not for now at least.

Jane and Jasmine: Good choice

Penny: Anyway, how are you, Chad? (Trying to change the subject.)

Chad: Uhhh, good. Yeah. Good. (takes a sip of seven-mountain-up-dew (probably very nervous))

Ricky: What’s wrong? Chad cat got your tongue. What’s on your mind?

Chad: (voice getting progressively quieter) Oh, nothing, sir.

(Awkward science)

Jaiden: so… Uh, mow, where’s Ezra?

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you didn’t hear CJs pregnant.

Chad: Wait, what? Oh yeah, I think she mentioned that.

Jaiden: Wait, and you didn’t tell me... Wait, what does this have to do with Ezra?

Ricky: It’s his kid (he grumbled).

Penny: And they don’t want to get married!!!!!

Jaiden: what!!! I know it’s been a while since I texted Ezra, but what the fuck?

Penny: Language, young man.

Jaiden: No, she didn’t even mention it!!! And we’re dating people from the same family. I mean, that’s just weird.

Penny: wait… what

Jaiden: Mom, what are you confused about? She didn’t tell me! And……. Wait, SHIT

Ricky: What the hell do you mean, the same family? Because last time I checked, Darline does not have another daughter! (She slams seven mountains up dew on the table.)

Jaiden: Well, about that... (interrupted)

Chad: Mr. and Mrs. Potts, I love your son.

Ricky: My son will not be a faggot!

Penny: That’s a little harsh, dear. We just don’t want you to have such a harsh life as Noel, Ocean, or Mischa, you know.

Jaiden: It’s not like I can just turn off being gay; the last time I tried, I don’t think that worked.

Ricky: You can try again. I mean, you don’t need to resort to homosexuality.

Jaiden: (crying, not able to get any more words out) i….. ugh……why….stop

Chad: (dragging Jaiden by the arm) Okay, we’re leaving. Nice of you to invite us, Mr. and Mrs. Potts. GOOD AFTERNOON!

(Jaiden and Chad are in the car.)

Jaiden: So, that could have gone better.

Chad: It’s fine; they’ll come around eventually.

Chad: If it helps, my mom basically considers you one of her children already.

Jaiden: Well, I'm glad she thinks that way, and I love her like a mother, but why can’t my parents be accepting?

Chad: (grabs Jaiden's hand) You know I love you, right?

Jaiden: Yeah, I love you too. I just... (interrupted by penny-calling): Should I answer?

Chad: yes! What can they say that’s worse than what was already said?

Jaiden: Your right (picks up the phone)

Penny: I'm so sorry. You know your dad can be difficult, but he didn’t have an easy life and doesn’t want his kids to be excluded like he was.

Jaiden: Thanks, mom, but I don’t think that can undo what’s been said.

Penny: Just think about it, okay?
(Awkwardly eating)

Jaiden: So, Mom, how's work?

Penny: Oh, you know, people get hurt; we try to fix it. Same old, same old.

Ricky: So, now you take an interest in our lives.

Penny: (kicking Ricky's leg) Be quiet

Ricky: what!!!!!! Chad has been quiet all night, and Jaiden hasn't talked till now.

Chad: Um, well, sir. (cut off by Jaiden)

Jaiden: Dad, stop

(Jasmine and Jane look at their father in sync and also talk in sync; they also have British accents and are the only people that have them.)

Jane and Jasmine: What’s wrong, father? Do you have a problem?

Ricky: (gets creeped out) Uh no (whispers the next part) Not for now at least.

Jane and Jasmine: Good choice

Penny: Anyway, how are you, Chad? (Trying to change the subject.)

Chad: Uhhh, good. Yeah. Good. (takes a sip of seven-mountain-up-dew (probably very nervous))

Ricky: What’s wrong? Chad cat got your tongue. What’s on your mind?

Chad: (voice getting progressively quieter) Oh, nothing, sir.

(Awkward science)

Jaiden: so… Uh, mow, where’s Ezra?

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you didn’t hear CJs pregnant.

Chad: Wait, what? Oh yeah, I think she mentioned that.

Jaiden: Wait, and you didn’t tell me... Wait, what does this have to do with Ezra?

Ricky: It’s his kid (he grumbled).

Penny: And they don’t want to get married!

Jaiden: what!!! I know it’s been a while since I texted Ezra, but what the fuck?

Penny: Language, young man.

Jaiden: No, he didn’t even mention it!!! And we’re dating people from the same family. I mean, that’s just weird.

Penny: wait… what

Jaiden: Mom, what are you confused about? He didn’t tell me! And……. Wait, SHIT

Ricky: What the hell do you mean, the same family? Because last time I checked, Darlene does not have another daughter! (She slams seven-mountain-up-dew on the table.)

Jaiden: Well, about that... (interrupted)

Chad: Mr. and Mrs. Potts, I love your son.

Ricky: My son will not be a faggot!

Penny: That’s a little harsh, dear. We just don’t want you to have such a harsh life as Noel, Ocean, or Mischa, you know.

Jaiden: It’s not like I can just turn off being gay; the last time I tried, I don’t think that worked.

Ricky: You can try again. I mean, you don’t need to resort to homosexuality.

Jaiden: (crying, not able to get any more words out) i….. ugh……why….stop

Chad: (dragging Jaiden by the arm) Okay, we’re leaving. Nice of you to invite us, Mr. and Mrs. Potts. GOOD AFTERNOON!

(Jaiden and Chad are in the car.)

Jaiden: So, that could have gone better.

Chad: It’s fine; they’ll come around eventually.

Chad: If it helps, my mom basically considers you one of her children already.

Jaiden: Well, I'm glad she thinks that way, and I love her like a mother, but why can’t my parents be accepting?

Chad: (grabs Jaiden's hand) You know I love you, right?

Jaiden: Yeah, I love you too. I just... (interrupted by penny-calling): Should I answer?

Chad: yes! What can they say that’s worse than what was said?

Jaiden: Your right (picks up the phone)

Penny: I'm so sorry. You know your dad can be difficult, but he didn’t have an easy life and doesn’t want his kids to be excluded like he was.

Jaiden: Thanks, mom, but I don’t think that can undo what’s been said.

Penny: Just think about it, okay?

Chapter 4: 7-Mountian-Up-Dew Factory

Summary:

The Bad Eggz crew goes to an abandoned factory

Chad: Yo, yo, yo, what’s up, my dudes? We are Bad Eggz on the YouTube, and today we’re following up on our abandoned buildings series.

Jaiden: Dude, why do you use that YouTuber voice every time?

Chad: shhhhh

Jaiden: To be honest, it kind of turns me off.

Chad: Oh, shut up. Anyway, guys, we’re here with Jaiden and Brianna.

Crystal: Y'all, hurry up and get in the building.

(They all walk into the building.)

Jaiden: shit I just stepped into something green.

Chad: (looking around) Wow, this place is huge.

Brianna: Oh, what’s that? (points to a faint neon green light down the hall.)

Jaiden: I don’t know; let’s check it out.

(They all walk down the hall and get closer and closer to the now bright neon green light and pause when they see a big puddle of the same glowing green liquid that Jaiden stepped into earlier.)

Jaiden: Do you guys think that’s toxic?

Chad: (kneels down to the puddle, dips his finger in the liquid, and licks it) It tastes like 7-mountain-up-dew syrup.

Jaiden: (looking at Chad in horror) Do you just go around and lick things from the ground?

Chad: I mean sometimes.

Jaiden: What the fuck? I’m never kissing you again. Also, I know I’ve said this before, but this stuff cannot be FDA-approved.

Chad: But it tastes good.

Jaiden: Chad, it fucking glows.

Brianna: Okay, “old married couple,” we need to keep going.

Crystal: Shut the fuck up, y'all. Let’s go.

Chad: God, okay

(They walk into the glowing room and see aliens on meat hooks connected to tubes that are leading to barrels of the 7-mountain-up-dew syrup.)

Brianna: What the fuck?

Jaiden: I TOLD YOU THIS STUFF WAS BAD FOR YOU.

Chad: Is this why I was sick for like a week after the chugging ten gallons of Seven Mountain Up Dew video?

Jaiden: PROBABLY, why the fuck do I love you?

Chad: Because I’m hot.

Jaiden: debatable (obviously joking), but I mean, you’re not wrong, but that’s not the only reason I love you.

Crystal: Okay, we successfully have zero postable content. Can we just go home? I don’t care to deal with aliens.

Brianna: Don’t you think we should at least tell someone this stuff is made from, you know, aliens?

Jaiden: no

Chad: I don’t really care; I’ll still drink it.

Jaiden: No, no, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT, drink anything else!!! We’re going to go home and drink water, okay?

Chad: Monster???

Jaiden: WATER, PLEASE

Crystal: Okay, who votes to go home and never speak of this again?

(Everybody but Chad raises their hands; Jaiden sees this and grabs Chad's arm and holds it up.)

Chad: but content???

Jaiden: NO!!!! I will kill you.

Chad: You’d miss me.

Jaiden: true, but... Stop or I will shove you in Rex’s kennel. Do not try me.

Chad: finnnne

Jaiden: I love you, ok?

Chad: I love you too.

Crystal: I can’t believe people think you’re straight.

Chapter 5: Argument

Summary:

Chad and Jaiden got into a fight, and later, when Jaiden goes to check on Chad and apologize, he finds him crying.

Back story:
(Chad and Jaiden were arguing over something a bit ridiculous in retrospect, but in the moment they were mad at each other, Jaiden wanted Chad to come out and have their relationship public, but Chad was scared that it would ruin his reputation. Jaiden ends up storming out of their shared hotel room since they were at VidCon as featured creators, and Chad sat down on the edge of their shared bed.)

(An hour later)

(Jaiden goes back into their hotel room to apologize because he realized it was wrong to try and pressure his partner to come out. He looks around the room, trying to see where Chad is. He then notices that the bedroom door is closed. He opens it and sees Chad lying down under the covers that are only leaving his eyes in view, crying, not even just crying. He is almost full on sobbing.)

Jaiden: “Chad? Are you okay?”

(Chad doesn’t respond; he simply covers the rest of his face with the blanket and tries to compose himself so Jaiden doesn’t see him cry any longer than he already has.)

Jaiden: “Come on, baby, don’t hide from me. What happened? Why are you crying?”

Jaiden moves the blanket and brushes Chad’s hair off his face.

Chad: “Just leave me alone. I’m fine.”

Jaiden: ”You obviously aren’t fine, Chad, so what happened while I was gone that made you cry?”

Chad: “I realized I’m a selfish asshole that doesn’t deserve you.”

Jaiden: “Why do you think that?”

(Chad gets up and goes into the bathroom to wash his face.)

Chad: “Because you are out and nobody cares, so why am I not ready? That isn’t fair to you.”

Jaiden: “You don’t have to come out for me; that’s unfair to you.”

Chad: “But it’s stupid for me to be scared over something like that. The world is a mostly accepting place; why would my reputation be ruined?”

Jaiden: “Chad I’m not trying to scare you out of coming out, but some people are assholes. I have gotten death threats before just for being gay, and some selfish people may be upset because you are a very handsome man, but you are taken and gay.”

Chad: “I know that I just I don’t know. I’m just so scared. I don’t want to come out yet.”

(Jaiden drags Chad back over to the bed and sits against the headboard while pulling Chad against his chest.)

Jaiden: “If you’re not ready, that’s ok, you don’t have to. I’m sorry for being mad at you; that wasn’t right of me.”

Chad: “Thank you.”

Jaiden: “Thank you for what.”

Chad: “for apologizing and supporting me.”

Jaiden: “That is literally the bare minimum. No need to thank me for the bare minimum. I love you, ok.”

Chad: “I love you too.”

Notes:

It’s my birthday!! 🥳

Chapter 6: Mall Trip

Summary:

They get trapped in a mall overnight

Chad: “Okay guys, thanks for watching our rainforest cafe video, and see you next time.”

(Ends video)

Chad: “Okay guys, me and Jaiden are going to leave, but we’ll see you tomorrow." (reaches for the door and pulls harder than Jaiden's erect cock) “It won’t open.”

Jaiden: “Oh sh*t, we had a date planned. I bought wine.”

Chad: “You did?? Was it my favorite merlo from 1935?”

Jaiden: “yeah”

Chad: “FUCK!!!!”

Crystal: “Okay, old married couple, can we care more about the actual problem here?”

Brianna: “We can just go through a vent or emergency entrance.”

Chad: “No video idea, Crystal camera.”

Crystal: "Geez, okay.”

Brianna: “I want to go home; like, how would this even work?”

Chad: “We just need to hide.”

Crystal: “You are going to be arrested, and nobody wants a repeat of last time.”

Brianna: “The county jail was so cold” (shivers).

Jaiden: “I will not be happy if we need to call Darline up again.”

Chad: “It’s fine; she’s going to forget it someday.”

Jaiden: “I really don’t think she will.”

Chad: “Fine, we just won’t be dumb.”

Crystal: “That seems hard for you.”

Chad: “Come on just this once.”

All in unison: "fine.”

Chad: “TRAMPOLINE PARK” (jumping up and down)

(In the trampoline park)

Chad: (Jumping while singing the lyrics to You Belong With Me at Jaiden.)

Jaiden: "Chad, I need you to watch where your going.”

Crystal: (does backflip)

Jaiden: “You too, Crystal.”

Brianna: (does the front hand spring)

Jaiden: “WTF HOW” (breathing heavily)

Chad: “Okay, what do you guys say about the spa?”

Crystal: “But he was doing that shaky thing.”

Brianna: “Come on, stop antagonizing Jaiden.”

(At spa)

Crystal: (stealing fancy snail cream)

Jaiden: “Don’t take too much, alright.”

Crystal: “It’s for Lilly.”

Jaiden: “Alright whatever” (as Chad is giving him a massage).

(Later at ice cream shop)

Jaiden: “I can’t believe your favorite ice cream flavor is birthday cake.”

Chad: “Hey, don’t disrespect the rainbow.”

Brianna: “Hey, can we go see dogs after this?”

Chad: “Yes, I love that idea.”

(At the dog store)

Chad: “OMG, a German shepherd.”

Jaiden: “He's so precious he can’t be any older than 9 weeks.”

Crystal: “Hey, have any of you realized the sun is going up?”

Brianna: “Oh yeah.”

Chad: “Can we get the dog?”

Jaiden: “I don’t know.”

Chad: “Please, I won’t stop asking till you say yes. I mean, look at him; he’s giving you the puppy eyes.”

Jaiden: “fine”

(They buy the dog in the morning; Chad names him Rex.)

Chapter 7: Adult Bluey Fan

Summary:

Uhhh yeah Bluey 😁👍

Susan: “Well, have a great day, babe. I wish you could stay longer." (fake sad)

Bob: “Well, I could stay a little longer, babe.”

Susan: “No, no, that's okay." (pushing him out the door)

Bob: “Are you sure... we could order food and watch TV?”

Susan: (thinking) "Hmmmm, do I get to pick the show?”

Bob: “I don't see why not.”

Susan: “Okay then. You know what? I have the perfect thing." (planning)

Bob: “What?”

Susan: “Just sit down and order Sushi-Sub-John’s”

Susan: (turns on TV) “BLUEY!!!!!!!!!!” (with theme song playing in the background)

Bob: “really” (sarcastically)

Susan: “What?” (shrugs)

Bob: “Isn't this a kids show?”

Susan: “So what if it is?” (rolling eyes)

Bob: “But you don’t have kids.”

Susan: “You have no say; I'm watching Bluey.”

Bob: “Fine”

Bluey: "Hi, I’m an Australian dog." (interrupted)

Bob: “Shouldn't she be on the TV?”

Susan: “shush!!!!!!!!!”

Bluey: “Anyways, before I was rudely interrupted." (gesturing to Bob) “I was going to say I have amazing world-building, and everyone loves our fun, non-annoying Australian voices.”

Bob: “Well, that sounds fun." (skeptical)

Bluey: “Plus, Mat-Pat has done multiple theories on us.”

Bob: “I'm sold” (suddenly eager)

(doorbell rings)

Bob: “I'll get it." (opens the door)

Chad: (pulls out phone) “Hey guys, today I'm a super radical pizza delivery sub-sushi frapa-wraps-dong-dong person." (sees screen) “Is that Bluey? I love that show." (runs to screen)

Bob and Susan: (screaming in joy) “Omg, yeah.”

Chad: “I love that show; especially the accents." (sits down)

All screaming: “BLUEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (with theme song in the background)

Chapter 8: First Date

Summary:

Chad and Jaiden’s first date!

Brianna: Come on, you can do this.

Jaiden: (staring at himself in the bathroom mirror) But what if it isn’t a date?

Brianna: Come on, you guys have been invisibly edging each other for years.

Jaiden: Okay, that’s a little far. Should I lose the suit?

Brianna: Ummm, I don’t know. Chads are pretty casual most of the time.

Jaiden: I’m going to lose the suit (changes); how do I look?

Brianna: (sitting on Jaiden's bed) You look great.

Jaiden: you’re lying

Brianna: No, you're good.

Jaiden: I’m changing again. (interrupted by a doorbell) SHIT

(Downstairs)

Chad: (fixing the crotch of his pants)

Jaiden: (opens door) Hi

Chad: (throws the bouquet of roses to the side in sight of Jaiden) Oh, hey Jaiden. (When the roses land on the road, one car gets distracted and crashes into another car. The car explodes, a wheel rolls towards the cat, and the cat screams cartoonishly.)

Jaiden: (after a long, awkward silence) So, are you driving?

Chad: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

(They walk over to the door.)

Chad: (opens door for Jaiden and walks to the driver's side to sit down) Sooo, how’s your day been… buddy?

Jaiden: Good, good, yeah (flashback to Jaiden vomiting in the bathroom while Brianna pats his back awkwardly).

Chad: Oh, that’s good (awkwardly laughing). Uh, any way (starts driving).

(When they get there.)

Chad: Hello, table for two, please.

Jenifer: Sorry, we don’t have any tables available right now. You can go on the waitlist, but there are about 20 parties ahead of you.

Chad: Oh, um, how long of a wait is that?

Jenifer: I would say an hour at least.

Chad: Oh, okay, then.

Jaiden: I saw a taco stand on the way here.

Chad: Oh, well, that’s not what I imagined, but it’s better than nothing?

Jaiden: Yeah, ok, let’s go.

(When they go to the taco stand and get their tacos in awkward silence.)

Chad: Here, uh, I’ll pay.

Jaiden: (blushes) Oh, are you sure I can pay?

Chad: No, it’s on me.

Jaiden: Oh, ok (blushes even more).

(They go into Chad’s car and eat their tacos.)

Chad: (drops a napkin next to Jaiden)

Jaiden: (When Chad gets up, he kisses him.) Oh, I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have done that.

Chad: (kisses Jaiden back.)

Jaiden: Oh, thank God (sigh of relief). I thought this was a date, but I wasn’t sure.

Chad: I came with a suit and flowers. What did you think I was doing?

Jaiden: Well, you did throw them at a cat-(Chad interrupts him with another kiss, and they make out).

(On the way back.)

(As Chad pulls into Jaiden’s driveway, the cat appears in front of them, and Chad swerves out of the way and crashes into a bush.)

Chad: Well, shit

Jaiden: I hate that fucken cat.

Chad: Well, uh, I’m dead.

Jaiden: Yeah, your mom is going to kill you.

Chad: Wanna get into the backseat?

Jaiden: (turns red) Yes

(Later, after Jaiden wipes off his mouth and goes back into his house, Chad pulls into his driveway, and Darlene sees the front of her car and runs outside.)

Darlene: Chad Chadwick Chadington! What the hell did you do to my car?

Chad: I swear it was the cat's fault.

Darlene: WHAT CAT?!?

(Cut to 24 years later, Xzavier and Zander are listening to Chad tell the story.)

Chad: And that’s how me and your dad got together.

Zander: Wait, dad, what did Papa mean when he said you wiped your mouth off?

Jaiden: (he turns bright red) Uhh, you’ll learn when you’re older.

(No animals were harmed in the making of this.)

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Bad Eggs