Chapter Text
The phone was ringing.
It was always ringing. Her mom’s messages stayed on. It dinged and buzzed and vibrated throughout the day like silent mode was never an option. The phone created a strange medley with the television set, always on set to reality TV or drama channels. Now it was on a family living reality show–the Real Housewives of Tokyo. It was noise that seemed like a constant reminder of life that it was never, ever silent in the house. Her mother was in the kitchen, on the phone arguing with someone Homura didn’t know. Her noise adding the music of life as the buzzing and vibrating and dinging got louder. It almost felt like a speaker in her head, stuck between her ears that stayed on forever, always so, so loud.
A tug on her arm brought her back to herself. Yuki was sitting in her lap, his little fingers wrapped around the sleeve of her shirt. In her lap was a bowl of crushed crackers, small enough for Yuki’s little baby teeth. A pair of top teeth and four little ones on the bottom. Homura called them his shark teeth, they had little gaps between each tooth, but they would get bigger. Her’s got bigger.
Yuki liked the crackers and she was glad for that because that was their dinner. It was all they had in the house. Her mother hadn’t gone to the store just yet, there had been bigger things to pay for. Homura grabbed the mail after school, she saw the bright red letters marking PAST DUE on it. Sometimes, her mom was too sleepy to call the people to keep the lights working. Homura had to put the numbers in the phone that stayed ringing and ringing and ringing and ask them for an extension. They usually weren’t happy with her, sometimes they said no or asked for mom, but her mom couldn’t get to the phone. Homura had to be the big girl for them all. She was six years old now, a big girl that was ready for ‘re-spon-i-bilities’.
Her mom always made sure to remind her of her big girl jobs. She needed to be strong and focused and ready for anything . She called her special. She called her a lot of things, sometimes meaner things when she was sleepy. She said she wasn't special in the way her mom was or the other kids in the apartment were. They had quirks , one of the kids in her school could make anything she touched turn blue. All the other kids liked it, but Homura didn’t. She didn’t like blue, it was a cold color. She learned that from the TV—it was a “cool tone”, the people on the house building channel said. Cold tones are like when there’s no heat, so she didn’t like those. She liked the warm tones, like red and yellow that looked like fire places on the cartoons. Red and yellow looked like it would be warm and heat up her fingers and toes when she was cold in the apartment.
Yuki dug his grubby hands back in the bowl, shoving the crackers into his mouth. He was beginning to stink. Homura was in charge of changing him, another one of her big girl jobs. They ran out of diapers days ago, though. Homura’s been using toilet paper and giving him baths, but that’s also not working either. He’s been getting red from rashes, and there wasn’t much else that she knew to help with that. She was sure that her mom wasn’t changing him when she was at school.
Maybe mom forgot again? She forgot a lot sometimes, she worked a lot so it was her big girl job to remind her of the important things, or do it herself. Homura wrapped Yuki in the thin couch blanket and slid off the couch. She walked into the kitchen where her mom was still talking on the phone. The other one had been vibrating so long it began to slide on the table, balancing precariously on the edge.
Homura pushed it back onto the middle of the table, saving it from a dangerous fall. She stood next to her mother, tugging on the side of her jeans. “Mama?”
“I’m telling you, I should be making more than that!” She fussed at the person on the other end. Her arms crossed with a smoking cigarette in the other hand. Her foot was tapping restlessly as she listened to their response. “He’s taking my fuckin’ money ! I don’t care what he says about keeping the lights on. He knows I got shit to pay for, he can tax the other bitches in there, not me! I–Kato, you know what I’m talking about! I can’t ask them for another loan. They’re already on my ass about the last one!”
“Mama,” Homura pulled on the side of her mother’s pants. She waved her away with her free hand, scattering ash all over the cheap wooden floors.
“Kato, I don’t got the time in the fucking week to work more!” She growled at the man on the other end. Her mom talked to this Kato guy a lot. Homura didn’t like him very much, she was always mad when they talked. “He needs to find someone else to tax or I’m fuckin’ leaving.”
Homura pulled on her mom’s pants again, “Mama. I need—”
Lines of agitation drew on her face and she glared down at her. “Oh my, give me a second.” She pushed her hand away again, “Stop it! Can’t you see I’m on the phone!?”
“I need—Mama, I need diapers for Yuki,” Homura took a step back, rubbing her hand. “He’s getting red again.”
“Fucking—I don’t have the money for that shit right now, just do what you usually do, I’ll deal with it.”
“No more toilet paper either, Mama.”
“Then find something!” Her mother snapped. Homura took another step back. “I can’t deal with it right now—find something! God fucking damn it!”
Homura nodded, leaving the room and her mother’s angry conversation. She went back to the couch where Yuki was sitting. The bowl of crackers now spilled all over the stained, sticky cushions, he had stuffed both cheeks full of them. Homura picked a few up to eat, her stomach giving an absent gurgle. She frowned as she thought about what to do about the diapers, about the ringing and ringing and ringing phone, about the missing money her mama needed.
Then the TV turned to the next program—her favorite show, it was an old family living show, with a grainy video despite being adapted for modern TVs. The colors shown up dulled and the people laughed weird and wore long dresses and carried thick bags. The funny old show had a small family with a mom and a dad and two kids laughing together. They lived together with no problems. No PAST DUE mail or vibrating phones left unanswered.
Homura wanted that, she wanted it so bad her eyes began to water and she had to sniff back tears.
Something twisted inside her, a familiar ball that twisted into anger and viciousness. She felt mad, so mad! There was nothing that she could do! How was she supposed to be responsible if she didn’t have the supplies to do it! She couldn’t do her job, she couldn’t help Yuki, and soon the lights wouldn’t work again and her mom didn’t care! Angry tears formed in her eyes and she gripped the sticky couch cushion. Why did she get yelled at!? Why did she do wrong?
Homura felt Yuki squirm in her arms, eating the last of his crackers and leaving nothing for her. He was such a hungry baby. She didn’t have more to feed him and she knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with that and she hadn’t eaten yet either. When she produced no more, he began to cry—wailing and flailing his little arms for something she didn’t have. He joined the noise of the house. The ringing and vibrating and shouting over the phone coming together in a discordant song that filled the sides of her skull and never ever ever quieted.
approximately five years later
Homura stood near the big maple tree, the leaves long dead in the winter weather. The winter’s chill hadn’t let up yet. She kept her thin jacket tight close to her body paired with an old, fraying scarf around her neck. Her bag leaned against her leg, as she absently picked at the old dirt and blood caked beneath her nails.
“Homura!” Yuki’s voice called from across the school yard. He ran up to her, showing her a construction paper drawing with various scribbled drawings on it. “Look! I made it! Do you like it?”
“I love it.” Homura smiled, picking up her bag and taking his ratty older backpack as they walked home. “What is it?”
“The tree on the playground. Look, I can make it wiggle!” Yuki took the picture with both hands and shook it. The stray pieces flopped around on the paper, testing the limit of their glue.
Homura chuckled, “Wow, amazing. it’s like a fan.”
“Yeah! It’s pretty cool,” he sniffed, rolling it up and putting it in his backpack pocket. “Today, one of my friends was having a bad day, but I helped them feel better!”
Homura paused, looking down at him, “You know you’re not supposed to use your quirk on people,” she said sternly.
“He said it was okay! He was just—just feeling sad and I helped him!”
Yuki’s quirk was interesting, it was emotional regulation. He could subdue large emotions through physical touch, especially if someone was upset. His go-to method was to give a hug to someone crying. This was usually harmless to the person but she didn’t like him getting in the habit of using that so loosely. He’d only developed it a year ago and he didn’t have much practice at all. Her mother didn’t bother taking him to a specialist like she was supposed to. The school told them at the beginning of the year when Homura enrolled him. Her mother hadn’t taken her either so if her mother was anything, she was consistent.
His school said that since it seemed to be a fairly low-level quirk they weren’t going to push it. They knew their situation and were somewhat sympathetic. Homura didn’t particularly like it but she took what she could get. They couldn’t live off pity and fake sympathies. She mentally added that putting his quirk on the registry to the to-do list. They couldn’t afford the fine if she didn’t.
Yuki pulled on her pants leg and she looked down at him with a raised brow. “What happened to your eye?” He reached up to her, but was far too short to touch anywhere near her face.
Homura ignored the urge to rub the dull throb around her eye socket. Her ice she had against it melted while she waited for him to leave the school. “I got into a, uh, problem. I handled it.” She flicked more blood away from her nails. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure mama’ll like your picture.”
“You think she’ll let me put it on the fridge?” He asked, wide eyed. “They do that in the show, sometimes.” The show he was referring to was a children’s puppet show, one of the public broadcast channels.
She shrugged. Usually the fridge was for important bills her mom needed to see before they became PAST DUE or turned off. “We’ll see. I’m sure she won’t mind.” Which meant, Homura will make the space and find a spare magnet.
Yuki cheered and she smiled down at him. They walked to the bus stop while Yuki told her all about his day, not forgetting a single detail while they waited. Homura nodded along, sitting him on the bench while she went through his backpack. She organized his homework into the correct color coded and labeled folders so he’d know what to do when they got home and the order to complete them. She also counted his pencils again while she was at it, and checked his lunch box materials were all still there.
By the time she finished her routine check, the bus had arrived and Yuki was only at the halfway part of his story about what book they read in school today. She nodded to the bus driver who rarely acknowledged her and continued listening quietly to Yuki’s story. She sat him down on the bus seat and stood in front of him, grabbing her glove out of her jacket pocket, putting one on and holding the rail above them.
“And then we sang songs together! Mura, Mura, do you know the song with the whale and the mouse in it?”
She shook her head, “No, I don’t think I know that one. How’s it go?” Yuki began singing the song—loudly, with noise, always noise—as other passengers began boarding the bus. She recognized all their faces, usually dead-eyed expressions of a long day at work. She didn’t blame them, she was sure her face reflected a similar expression. Only Yuki seemed to have the energy only a 5 year old could have to brighten the bus’s atmosphere. Her little star, she called him. Her little shining star.
The bus usually skipped the next stop—nobody was ever there during this time—but the driver surprised her by pulling to the side and opening his doors. Yuki was still serenading her with the second verse of his schoolyard song when three familiar faces joined the bus. A girl and two boys, all wearing the same school uniform she was. She was sure they’d heard about the fight by now, news spread fast at that school.
Homura put her head down to ignore them, but she wasn’t a very easy person to miss. She was the only kid at her junior high school with thick, curly dark hair and brown skin. She also wore the same uniform as well, although hers was covered in grass stains and dirty.
“Is that Ito?” The girl, Natsumi Tanaka called out, pointing at her. The bus hadn't moved yet because they hadn’t found a seat. Homura looked down at Yuki who stared up at her with wide eyes. “What are you doing here? I thought they kicked you out of the school!”
One of the boys, Sora Habanasi came up to her. He was taller than she was, but not by much. He leaned beside her, grabbing the rail above to look at her. “What happened today? Everyone’s saying you and Renji got into a huge fight. What're you picking fights for? You know quirkless people can’t win fights!”
Someone tugged on her hair and she whipped her head around and glared at them. “Don’t touch me!" Homura hissed, feeling that familiar ball of anger in her chest, twisting and pulling at her. She gripped the handle tight. She wouldn’t get in a fight in front of Yuki. She can deal with them tomorrow.
“Or what?” The other boy, Haruto Saito, laughed and pulled her hair again. “What are you gonna do about it, quirkless?”
The tension built in her body, her hands gripped the rail tight. Yuki still stared up at her with wide, scared eyes. Natsumi looked down at him, “Hey kiddo, is this girl messing with you?”
“Yuki, don’t talk to them,” Homura rushed to stand between them, stumbling as the bus jostled. One of the boys yanked her back by the arm. She turned around and smacked his arm away, but Natsumi rushed over to Yuki. Her white teeth gleaming in a cruel smile.
“Yuki is it? What a cute name! Do you want a new big sister?" Natsumi taunted while the boys kept pushing at Homura to keep her away. "I can be a big sister for you, and I have a cool quirk. Do you wanna see it?”
Yuki looked over at Homura and then shook his head, no, looking down at his little worn down sneakers.
“It’s okay, Yuki, I can demonstrate. Look.” She held her hand out to Homura and she saw a familiar glow. She slapped her hand away from her before the light could hit her and she heard Yuki scream. Her eyes went wide, Yuki was crying, covering his face. She saw blood trickling down from his eyes.
Homura saw red.
She didn’t quite remember what happened after that. Usually when she blacked out, she found herself in the principal’s office or on the ground after some fight. This time, though, when she came back to herself, she was off the bus and in the dirt. Her hands were gripping the grass, digging the dirt deeper beneath her nail beds. Yuki gripping her arm beside her, she could hear him crying. Her knuckles hurt again and there was blood on her head and arms. Homura moved to stand up and groaned when pain shot up her body from her ankle. She must’ve twisted it.
She looked around for their bags—gone. Must’ve left it on the bus. She took Yuki’s hand and began to limp away. “Young lady! Excuse me!”
Homura turned around. A man in a uniform, a police officer by the looks of it, standing next to a lady in a very colorful outfit. Some type of hero, she didn’t know who she was supposed to be. She hardly kept up with them. “You can’t go anywhere until an adult comes to get you.”
She moved to speak but realized her mouth was full of blood. She spat it out on the concrete, rubbing her face with her sleeve. “Call my mother. I’ll give you her number, but she’s not coming to get us.”
“We’re going to press charges!” She heard someone say across the street. They were holding Natsumi who looked pretty messed up. Two black eyes and a couple of bruises, from what she could tell from so far away. The boys were nowhere to be seen, probably already picked up by their parents or ran away. Homura didn’t care, fuck them anyway. She turned her attention back to the officer and the hero whose arms were crossed looking down at her.
“I don’t have anything to write on.” She waited until the officer provided a paper and a pencil. She began to write, noticing how bloody and bruised her knuckles were. The skin had split open in some areas. Damn, she definitely needed to stop by the corner store and get some ice. “Here. You can call her, we’re going home.”
“That girl is saying you started this fight,” the hero said, narrowing her eyes. “And that you don’t have a quirk. What is a quirkless girl doing fighting other kids on a bus? That doesn’t seem very… productive.”
“She hurt my brother with her quirk,” Homura said, looking down at Yuki. The area she grazed him was still red, but it had stopped bleeding. “I don’t know what happened after that. I was defending him.”
“Well, the bus has cameras so we’ll review the footage and get back to you,” the officer replied. “You best stay out of trouble. Starting fights over foolishness is a one-way trip for people like you to becoming a villain.”
Homura bristled at that and sneered. Her anger never ceased to quiet inside her and reared to deck him just like she did Natsumi. Instead, she refused to give him the dignity of her response, rolling her eyes and tugging on Yuki’s hand. “Let’s go, Yuki.”
The officer called after her but she ignored him. She didn’t need a lecture, she needed a shower. The next bus wouldn’t come for another hour, so they’d have to walk all the way home.
Yuki fell asleep halfway through the walk so she had to carry him the rest of the way. Her entire body was sore, her ankle was screaming at her. It was well past night in their ratty neighborhood. People lurked on the corners, sometimes calling out to her, but she didn’t pay them any mind. She readjusted Yuki on her sore back and got to their apartment. She walked up the steps and patted her sides down for her keys. Thankfully, she didn’t leave that on the bus, and unlocked the door.
The apartment was full of smoke. Homura waved it away, closing the door and locking it behind her. “Where were you?” Her mom demanded, sitting at the kitchen table. “It’s past dark, what were you out there doing?”
“Got into a problem on the way home,” Homura said, taking Yuki’s shoes off and then doing her own. “I handled it.”
“Handled it’? Is that why I have the police blowing up my phone!?”
“Probably.” She began walking to her room, ready to flop in her bed, but her mom wasn’t done.
Her mother, Ito Emi, stood up, a hand gripping the chair for balance. She was dressed ready to go out, she usually left to go to work around this time at the club a few blocks down. Her mother had long black hair and fair skin. Her cheeks were a bit flushed from the shots of liquor she must’ve been taking by the looks of the open bottles. She did not look happy, her arms crossed and face twisted up. Her eyes scanned her face, seeing the bruises that she hadn’t been able to treat yet. “What the hell happened to you!?”
“The problem happened,” Homura grumbled, annoyance fueling her. “Let me go wash up—did you pay the water bill?”
“The problem that the police are saying the family wants to sue us for!?” Her mother snapped. “You can’t keep doing this, Homura! You’re going to end up in jail!”
“I don’t need to hear this,” Homura huffed, taking Yuki’s hand, who was yawning beside her, and walking away.
“Don’t walk away from me, little girl!” Emi stood up, she felt her grab her arm. Homura tried to yank herself out of her grip, but she’s already gotten into two fights today. She didn’t have the energy for a third one.
“Let go of me!” Homura snapped. She struggled to keep that twisting, biting, ball of anger quiet inside her.
“Your school called me today to tell me you’re expelled.” Her mother said and Homura stilled, eyes wide. “You’re not going back to that fucking school. They’re sending you to some youth development school for fucked up kids!”
“Okay, whatever!” She shook her head, finally yanking her arm free with a huff. “Whatever! I’ll deal with it. I’ll call the school tomorrow.”
“There’s no need to call them, you’re not fuckin’ going back because you can’t control yourself!” Emi hissed, pointing a finger in her face. “You’re a fucking problem! What’s it going to take until you realize that? Why do you keep getting into fights with those other kids?! This is the third fight this month, Homura! I’m sick of hearing it!”
“It’s not my fault!” Homura screamed. “It’s not my fault! They keep starting fights with me! I don’t do anything!”
“You’re fucking provoking them!” Her mother snapped. “And now they’re sending you to this–this villain school because you can’t fucking behave! And if we get in a fucking lawsuit with that girl’s family because of that fight today you’re fucking paying for it! Do you hear me!? I’m not putting a penny towards that shit!”
“She hurt Yuki!” Homura snapped. “She was yelling at me and she–she hurt him! I was defending him!”
“You weren’t doing shit but causing trouble for us!” Emi hissed. “We can’t afford that shit, Homura! Do you understand? We can’t afford it. You need to stop getting in all this trouble or else you won’t have a roof over your head. I’m not going broke because you want to get in a fight every hour of the goddamn day.”
Homura stepped away from her mother. Her fists were at her sides, balled up as she tried to breathe and calm that ball of anger down. “Get it together, Homura," her mother finally said after a minute of staring at each other. "I’m not having this talk with you again.”
She looked down, Yuki was standing a few feet away, looking at her with those same wide brown eyes. She reached for his hand and led him to the room. Her foot was aching and she was so exhausted. The tension in her body never seemed to leave, she didn’t know what to do about it.
She began to get Yuki ready for bed, going to run a bath and finding the water sputtering before dying out. Damn. She knew her mother didn’t pay the bill. She didn’t have time to call the company either, they were closed by now.
“Come on Yuki,” she took his little hand, leading him back to their shared room. “Let’s just put on pajamas and do bath time tomorrow, okay?”
“But I thought we should have bath time at night?” Yuki whined, gripping his shirt with his little fingers.
“I know we do, but we don’t have water right now. We have to wait, ok?”
“But why?”
Homura pressed a finger to the bridge of her nose, a headache was building behind her eyes. She needed to lay down. Now. “How can we do bath time with no water, Yuki? We have to wait until the water comes back, okay?”
Yuki pouted but didn’t argue, she was glad, she couldn’t do the crying right now, the noise and noise and noise.
She pulled the covers back on the bed. Their room was always straightened and neat. Her desk was covered in tape, where each item would sit in its exact space. Yuki’s toys, the few that he had, were neatly stacked near the side and bordered off. She allowed him to play with them in that one box and nowhere else. He tended to keep his box clean, though.
Her bed was always neat. She pulled the pajamas that she planned and folded out, always in sets for Yuki so he could grab them all together. She also got dressed too. Homura used a half empty water bottle to clear the worst wounds and wrapped them in the gauze from her first aid kit. She gave the rest to Yuki to drink. She wasn’t sure if he refilled his water bottle at school like he was supposed to. It would’ve been in his backpack which was still on the bus—along with the rest of their items.
She didn’t have the energy to think about that. She needed to sleep. She changed into her pajamas, wrapped her hair up, and turned the lights out. She’d have her mom sign a note for Yuki’s missing homework tomorrow. Hopefully they could send him home with extra copies, she could finish it with him then.
Yuki curled into her side and she winced a little when he touched a sensitive bruise. “Are you gonna go to the bad school, Mura?”
“I think so, yeah,” she sighed.
“If you go to a bad school, will you turn into a villain? Are you gonna still take me to school if you’re at the villain school?”
“It’s not a villain school,” she frowned. “It’s… just a different school. I’ll still take you to school, but we’re going to have to start leaving a bit earlier from now on. Think you can manage that?”
Yuki hummed, wrapping his small arms around her. “I can do it, I’ll be a big boy, right?”
Homura tensed, running her hands through his knotted curls. “No, Yuki. You don’t have to be a big boy, that’s my job. I need you to be Yuki, okay?”
“Got it. Love you, Mura.”
“Love you too, Yuki.” She pressed a kiss into his forehead and he moved to kiss her cheek. She hummed a little as she combed her fingers through his hair as he fell asleep.
Notes:
chapter title: knuck if you buck by crime mob
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so, this was supposed to be out during black history month (✊🏾) because i wanted to write a fic around female rage/working through anger, but then i ended up writing a bunch of chapters & never posting them. so, this is it, super late but in time for women's history month so go off.
this fic is more of a character study on experiencing and learning how to control anger. i work with kids dealing with anger a lot and i thought it'd be an interesting story to tell. i, personally, don't find myself a very 'angry' person but as i build on my writing, i realize i don't tap into that type of anger/rage a lot so it's been a fun way to work on it. i like this fic idea a lot, especially considering i always make my characters black in some way, shape, or form. to me, it feels like subverting the 'angry black woman' stereotype that you'd see in media and writing a lot. we don't get to be represented in may positive lights, so writing a story about a black-asian kid struggling with that is very cathartic for me.
anyways the fic title of a beyoncé lyric because i never see her lyrics on ao3, so we're breaking a lot of barriers over here lol. i hope you all like it, i'm loving homura & her character so far. i might post a few chapters at once, or spread them out based on the few that i have, i'm not sure yet. anyways, i'll keep y'all updated and as always you can find me on tumblr whenever.
Chapter 2: 2 | life's the bitch & death's her sister
Notes:
chapter title: 6 foot 7 foot by lil wayne (feat. cory gunz)
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content warnings at the end
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
She remembered the day they told her she was quirkless. Mama hadn’t enrolled her into school yet. Their neighbor, Ms Kiki was watching her throughout the day while mama worked. Homura played with a paper doll on the carpet while Ms Kiki watched the television and scrolled through her phone. Her stomach was twisting tight. She was hungry but all they had was stale bread and old cereal in the cabinet. She didn’t want to bother Ms Kiki, she got mad when she got bothered.
Her mom came in the door holding the letters from the mailbox. She hadn’t been able to read yet, but Homura remembered the big red letter shapes on some of them. “Mama!” She ran to the door, arms open to greet her mother, who looked more exhausted than usual.
Her mother picked her up rubbing her on the head with a smile. “Hey sweet pea. Do anything fun today?”
“I played with my dolls and–and Ms Kiki gave me some juice!” Her mother set her down on the couch and flopped down beside Ms Kiki.
“Sounds great, kiddo. Go back to the dollies, okay? I gotta talk with Ms Kiki.” She nodded and slid off the couch, stumbling back to the discarded paper dolls on the ground. One of them had a beautiful yellow dress that her mother printed for her at the library. She took extra care of it, using some tape to make sure it stayed neat with no wrinkles. It was her favorite dress, she wanted a yellow dress like this one day. She asked mama for it but she said they didn’t exist. Paper dresses were for paper dolls and she was not a paper doll. So, she colored her doll’s skin brown and named her Little Homura. Little Homura could have a pretty yellow dress when she couldn’t.
“Still no sign of nothing?” Her mother asked, pouring herself some adult juice from the glass bottle. It smelled weird, left a linger in the air that made her nose scrunch up. “I thought they were supposed to show a sign of… something by now. Isn’t she getting too old?”
“I dunno, Emi,” she huffed, pulling out a cigarette. “I know they got doctors and shit you can take her too and they can, like, examine her or something. This ain’t normal. Do you know what his quirk was?” They mention ‘his’ a lot, ‘he’ and ‘him’ and ‘that man’. Homura didn’t know a lot of men, besides the man who owned the corner store her mom sometimes took her too. Or, Mr Kato but she’s only heard him over the phone.
“No, and I was too drunk to know, anyway. But that doesn't matter, I can’t afford a doctor, Kiki. If she doesn’t show a fucking…” her mom breathed for a second, rubbing her forehead. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“I looked it up, there’s still… quirkless people, Emi. Maybe…” Ms Kiki trailed off, clearing her throat. “It’s better to tell her now, than later, okay? If she gotta hear that she’s quirkless when she gets to school, it’ll be worse.”
Homura looked over, curious about the adult conversation they were having. She set her paper dolls down making sure the dress was nice and straight before waddling back over. “Mama?”
“Not now, Homura,” her mother sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I need you to go to your room, okay?”
“But… mama…” she wanted to know what they were talking about, what was quirkless? And who is him and he and that man?
“You're room, Homura. Now.” Her tone was stern and Homura froze a little, nodding and taking a step back. She went back to her dolls, gathering them and their colorful dresses off the ground and hurrying down the hallway.
That night, after Ms Kiki had left and her mom scrounged something up for dinner, she called her into her room. She sat her down on her old mattress and pulled her into her lap. “Homura, baby, I need you to listen to me, okay?”
“Yes mama,” she replied, looking up at her mother with her wide brown eyes. Her fingers fiddled with the worn ends of her shirt, tugging at a loose string. She wrapped it around and around her finger until the blood made her hand go red and itchy.
Her mother breathed deep, “Baby, I think… I don’t think you have a quirk.”
“A quirk? I don’t have your quirk?” Her mother could make images appear in her head, she did it with Homura sometimes. They called it imagining together. “I can’t imagine anymore?”
“No baby, not that. I don’t… think you have any quirk. It’s called being quirkless. It’s not a bad thing, but… it’s going to make things harder for you, alright?”
“But… I don’t wanna make things harder for me,” Homura frowned, feeling the tears come to her eyes. She felt something twist inside her, something hot and burning in her stomach. “I wanna make the images too!”
“You don’t—Homura, listen to me,” her mother gripped her shoulders tight. She felt her body tense up, the string around her finger getting tighter and tighter and tighter. “You are quirkless. You don’t have a quirk, but that doesn’t mean you’re less than or–or bad. And people might make you think that you are, but you aren’t okay? You’re just… you gotta learn to be a big girl, okay?”
“I gotta be a big girl?”
“Yeah. Yes, baby. You gotta be a big girl for mama, alright? You gotta show me your strength, okay? Can you do that?”
Homura nodded and scrunched up her face and growled, “Like this?”
Her mother laughed. She loved hearing her mother laugh, it was light and contagious. It always made Homura smile wide, her little teeth shining. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug, “Yes! Yes baby, just like that. You gotta be a big girl, okay? You gotta be strong for us, alrighty?”
“Alrighty, mama.”
approximately seven years later
Homura picked at the fraying string on her jacket, twisting it around her finger. She waited for the train to stop in Shinjuku City. After calling the school to confirm she wasn’t allowed back, the adminstration told her to check in at the Shinjuku Private School. She spent the weekend looking into it. It was a supposed youth development and training school, the following Monday. If she failed to show up, she would get charged with truancy. Her mother would be fined, which would have gotten her into more trouble. She hadn’t heard back from the Natsumi’s family about the supposed charges against her. Homura hoped they pulled the video footage from the bus and saw the unlawful quirk usage and let it go. She didn’t need anything else on her plate right now.
She yawned, struggling not to rub at her eye, which was still bruised with a bump on her cheekbone. She had to wake herself and Yuki up at 6 AM today, an hour before their usual time, to get him ready to get dropped off at school. It was barely enough time for her to take the hour-long commute to her new school. She wished her mother would step in at a time like this, but she knew she wouldn't and didn't want to ask. Her mother needed her extra rest after working nights with Mr Kato at his club in the city. Ito Emi would sooner pull a star out the sky than wake up early enough to drop her brother off.
Homura stood, squeezing through the large crowd in the train to get ready to get off her stop. She pulled her backpack close to her. She managed to find it at the bus station lost and found over the weekend, thankfully. She couldn’t afford another backpack or more school supplies—for both of them. Unfortunately, the strap had broken in the fight, but Homura was nifty with duct tape and made it work.
She grabbed the steel bar to steady herself before hopping off the train doors. The mass of bodies came out behind her, leaving the station. Homura glanced up at the signs and reached in her pocket. She grabbed the folded up google map directions she printed at the library. She followed the directions, swiping out of the train stop. She wasn’t sure she could afford a train ride every day. She’d have to find bus options, they usually let kids ride free, especially if you’re in school uniforms. That might mean getting up even earlier, though, which she didn’t have the capacity to consider at the moment.
Homura kept walking through the bustling city and all the noise it made until she made it to a small three story building. There was a sign on the front that proudly proclaimed, Shinjuku City Private School – Home for Transformative Youths.
She sighed, walking up the steps and trying the door knob, which was opened. She stepped inside and almost got a plastic cup thrown at her head. “I said don’t throw—Junko! Stop it!”
Homura started with a raised eyebrow, “... Hello?”
A head popped out from the side of the wall—inside the wall, disembodied with the rest of the body in another room. “Yes, hello! Are you Miss Ito?”
“Yes.” Homura looked around the building. It was narrow and small, like a renovated apartment. There was no way this was the school they were talking about.
“Great! Wonderful to see you, you can have a seat right there!” The head disappeared and the shouting crescendoed in the other room. That was quickly followed by what sounded like someone hitting the ground. The woman from earlier stepped back through the wall. She smiled brightly with dark circles under her eyes. She was older, maybe in her thirties, with short, bob-length black hair, and a professional uniform style. “Hello! Sorry for that introduction. Some students have already started to arrive as you can hear. I am Ms Hara. It’s wonderful to meet you, finally, Ms Ito. I’ve heard… interesting things about you.”
“I’m sure.” She stood, walking to the makeshift desk that Ms Hara stood behind. “Where do I need to go? Do I need a schedule, or something?”
“No, not quite. Our students are on the same schedule according to their learning band. Your class is the first room up those steps. The instructor hasn’t arrived yet, but some students are already in there. I’m sure the principal would like to meet with you to establish our ground rules with you, I’ll let him know you’ve arrived. A word of advice since you’re new, don’t make… extra trouble for yourself, alright?” She smiled politely and waved her along. Something smashed in the other room and her eyes went wide. “I’ve got to run, good luck.” With that, Ms Hara turned around and disappeared into the wall.
Homura stared at where she was and tried not to show the exhaustion on her face. She walked to the steps and followed where Ms Hara told her. The door was open and she could hear someone talking inside. She pushed the creaky old door open more and saw a half dozen desks scattered around the room with a dirty chalkboard pinned to the wall. Two students, both of them boys, were sitting by the wall, talking, but their eyes met her when she walked in.
“Who the fuck are you?” One of the boys demanded, looking at her sideways.
Homura didn’t respond, grabbing one of the desks near the front and turning it so it would face the board. She shoved her broken backpack underneath the desk and sat down. “Hey! I’m talking to you!”
“I heard,” she replied with an annoyed tone. “You’re very loud.”
The other boy laughed and he sneered at her. “Are you new or something? We don’t get girls here.”
“That doesn’t surprise me at all,” she replied with a short sigh. “Find something else to do, I don’t have the time to deal with you.”
The other kid laughed again and nudged him, “Wow, you’re going to let a girl talk to you like that?”
“No!” He hissed, and then put both hands on her desk. She began to move, grabbing her bag when she saw bugs run down his sleeves and onto her desk. It was spiders, ants, roaches, coming out of his body and onto hers. Chills ran down her spine. Homura wasn’t afraid of bugs at all. She’s the bug exterminator in their house, but seeing so many of them at once all headed for her was unnerving.
“What the fuck!” She snapped, glaring at him and the two boys laughed.
“What, scared of a couple of bugs?” He taunted, picking one up and waving it in her face.
She slapped his hand away, “You’re disgusting.” Homura couldn’t believe she had to spend her entirety of middle school here with a bunch of… delinquents. She wasn’t this bad, they made some mistake, she could not do this.
“She is scared of bugs!” He laughed, gathering a bunch in his hands. The way they crawled over themselves to come back into his body, under his sleeves and disappearing was disturbing. She couldn’t let them see that though, she rolled her eyes and walked away. Their teacher would be here soon, and she’d deal with them when an adult came into the room.
Other kids began to trickle into the classroom, taking seats near the back, not moving their desks like she had. She returned and sat away from the bug boy and his little friend. Soon, a tall man with dark eyes and glasses walked in. “Find a seat and be quiet,” he said and the students lingered around, not following his instruction.
Homura raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. The man just started talking over the kids who were having side conversations, addressing the few who did follow his instruction. “Good morning, we have a new student with us today, Ms Ito please stand.”
She pressed her lips together, but reluctantly stood up. “Hello. Nice to meet you all.”
“Oh, a student with manners, how rare,” he said and fixed his tie. “I am Mr Bando, I will be your teacher for this school year. I hope you enjoy yourself here.”
Homura nodded and sat back down. “What did a girl do to get sent here!” Someone called out, looking her up and down.
She didn’t acknowledge him, breathing a heavy sigh and pulling out her journal. Mr Bando was writing on the board, something about announcements coming up, but the other students were talking so she couldn’t hear. “Hey! I was talking to you!” The kid snapped, jumping up and coming to her table.
“I already tried that, Shuya,” the bug boy from earlier called out.
“She’s going to answer me,” he laughed, leaning over the desk. “What about it? Did you steal some girl’s makeup or something? Hit a teacher? You can fess up, we’re not gonna judge you.”
Mr Bando was still teaching at the board and at this point all the kids were looking at her. He didn’t even turn around to tell them to stop. She got the feeling that she was not going to have any support here. “Fighting,” she replied through gritted teeth. “A lot. The school got sick of me, so I’m here.”
“Fighting? That’s it!” Shuya laughed, shoving her arm. She felt that tension in her body again, the ball of anger coiling. He leaned in close, she could feel his hot breath on her ear and pulled herself away. “Please. You know, Goseki over there, he tried to kill one of his classmates. They said he’s too young to go to jail, but he’s got to spend hours in this place. Mitsuru tried to take out one of his teachers! A hero had to step in. So fighting is minimal. They sent you in here for something stupid like that?”
“Believe it if you want to,” she shrugged. “But move away from me, you’re too close.”
“Too close like this?” He tried to touch her but she ducked away, snatching his arm with a hard grip. The boy tried to pull away but she yanked him closer, anger bleeding into her eyes.
“I’m not going to say it again. Don’t touch me. Leave me alone. I can’t afford to have problems here, so don’t give me any.” She let go, wiping his sweaty hand on her uniform.
All the other kids began to instigate, making noise and pointing at Shuya, who was getting red in the face. “You don’t tell me what to do!”
“What? You own the school or something? King of the delinquents?” Homura scoffed, “Get a fucking life. You’re a loser, everyone in this classroom—hell this school is. You’re not better than me because you tried to kill someone. You peaked in primary school.”
The other boys began to laugh, even Mr Bando stopped his lesson and had to cover a chuckle. Shuya began to shake with anger and she saw the fist coming before he threw it. She pushed her chair back to stand, grateful they weren’t connected to the desks. The other kids began to shout and he tried to hit her again but Homura wasn’t new to fighting boys. Mr Bando didn’t do anything, just stayed at the board teaching absolutely no one. Soon, other boys jumped in too, and Homura had to defend herself against three other students. If her body wasn’t aching before, it was now.
Eventually the commotion was heard by someone else and the boys stopped. Someone grabbed her hand and pulled her out the room, into the hallway. Her head was aching, her nose was bleeding and her lip busted. She was glad she managed to put ice on her ankle because that was starting to hurt again.
The person shoved a bag of ice into her hands. “Clean yourself up then get back to class,” he gruffed. She looked up at him, he was a security guard or something—not surprising at this prison school. She nodded and looked over, he brought her to the bathrooms. There was only one, so she went in, locking the door behind her.
Homura began to clean the blood off her face, wincing whenever she hit a sore or sensitive spot. Her hands shook with adrenaline and her body was exhausted. She was tired and beginning to realize the point to this stupid prison school. The teachers don’t do anything here—they didn’t care at her old school either, mostly because she was quirkless. Here, they didn’t care at all. That man didn’t even turn to look at her or call for help. This was a literal prison.
Homura chuckled and then laughed. Soon, she had bent over, laughing and almost hysterical, trying to control herself. A prison school. She couldn’t believe it. She got into a couple of fights—mostly started by other people where she was defending herself—and they didn’t get any type of punishment but she got sent to Junior High Tartarus? Primary School Alcatraz? This was insane!
She wanted to leave, but she remembered the truancy letter they sent her mother. She couldn’t afford the fines, or the jail time. This shit wasn’t fair at all. She felt that anger claw inside her, frustration and guilt twisting and pulling at her. She had to stay in this hell school, at least until she could convince another school to take her in. She’d start applying this week at the library. In the meantime, she could survive being here—for now.
Notes:
CW: mentions of bugs, fic-typical violence
i hope y'all are liking the chapter titles, i'm trying to use songs i like but also songs that aren't usually seen in fics (stickin with the black artist theme lol) i made a playlist if you want to see it on spotify
this was a shorter chapter, but they'll usually be around 3k-5k so i'll let yall know if they get to be too long.
Chapter 3: 3 | bounce back 'cause a bad bitch can have bad days
Notes:
chapter title: anxiety by megan thee stallion
⁂
content warnings at the end
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Mama cried a lot when she was pregnant with Yuki. Every little thing seemed to upset her.
Homura tried to help, she stepped in to be the big girl for her. The lights would go out a lot and sometimes the water would be really cold or not work at all. Homura had to get the mail for them, she saw a lot of letters with bold scary words on the front. When she brought them to Mama, she just got mad and told her to leave. Homura didn’t complain.
Homura stayed in her room most of the time, making sure everything was in place for baby Yuki. She’s watched a lot of shows when a baby shows up. Usually they get a baby bed and a bunch of baby food stuff. She didn’t know if they had baby food stuff, they definitely didn’t have a baby bed. So she made a small baby corner in her room. It had an extra blanket with pillows, some of her old paper dolls that were too crinkly for her to play with, and a book to read. She wasn’t sure if babies could read, but she hoped her sibling could—or she’d read to them. She wasn’t the best reader, she stumbled over words a lot and didn’t recognize all the letters, but she’d try her best for baby Yuki.
She heard Mama shouting in the other room. It was normal for her, she did a lot of yelling, especially when the lights went out and the water stopped coming. But, this time there was a man she was shouting at too. Homura hasn’t seen a lot of men. She knows Mr Moe at the corner store, he sometimes gives her chocolate. She also knew the weatherman on the TV, but she didn’t think he knew her.
This man was new though. He was new and he was here—in the apartment with them. She’s never seen a man in their house before. Curiosity got the best of her. She creeped out of her room closing the door quietly and walked to the front where the shouting was happening.
“I don’t have it right now!” Her mother said, and there was a tone of… something else in her voice. Something she’s never heard from her mother before.
“You’re far past due, Ms Ito,” the man gruffed. His voice sent chills down her spine, she made sure to skip the squeaky wood as she walked through. “You need to show us something, or else there’d be consequences.”
“Just give me more time,” her mom said, desperation thick in her voice. “I can come up with the money, this–this pregnancy has been expensive and I haven’t been able to work like I used to. I haven’t even been able to pay my own bills. The lights don’t even come on, look!” Her mother came to the wall she was at and before she could hide, she locked eyes with her. “What—go back to your room! Now!”
It was dark in their house, lit by the thick candles they were able to find and flashlights with low batteries. But, in the darkness, she saw the fear in her mother’s face. Her eyes were wide and there were tears building behind them. Her hair was frazzled and her hands shook against the wall.
Homura took a step back, “Mama, what’s wrong?”
She heard footsteps and before her mother could respond, a man came behind her. He looked like he lurked through nightmares more than life. He had dark hair pulled back and tattoos running up her neck. His mouth pulled into a wide, gold toothed smile and he had scars all over his face. “Hello, little one.” He looked at her mother, “I thought you said she was at a friend’s house.”
“I–I guess I forgot to drop her off,” her mother said with a laugh. Her hands reached out to grab Homura’s. They were shaking against her arm. “Homura, sweetie, go back to your room.”
“No, I don’t think that’s necessary,” he said. “Little Homura should learn about the world, it’s good to expose them young, right? Get that experience in. Come on, kid, let’s have a chat.”
“Please,” Her mother looked at the man, her hand was tight on her arm, it began to hurt. “You can’t take her. She’s all I have.”
“Who said anything about taking her?” He laughed. “We’re going to talk, right Homura?” Homura looked up at her mother who didn’t move. The man didn’t look pleased at that. “Give me the girl. Now.”
“Mama?” Her mother's face was solemn, staring the scary man in the eyes. She let out a heavy sigh.
“I’m sorry, baby,” her mother said and pulled her towards the man. Homura panicked and began to scream. She tried to run away but his big hands caught her around the waist and dragged her into the air. Tears came from her eyes and she tried to fight his hand, pulling and kicking at him, to no avail. He laughed, going back to the couch to sit down.
Now that she stood in the living room, she could see there were two other men in here as well. They stood near the walls holding something dark and shiny in their hands. “Calm down, little Homura, nothing’s going to happen to you. Unless your mother can’t behave herself.” She kept trying to squirm away from him but the man was very strong and kept her sitting in his lap. His other hand ran through her curly hair, she tried to lean away from him but he grasped her head, yanking her back.
“Mama!” Homura cried and her mother just stared at her, face blank.
“So, Ms. Ito, let’s try this again. I’ll give you grace and extend your payment another month. I need to see at least… 60 percent of what I’m owed by then—from all the months you’ve missed. I don’t care how you get the money, but it better come to me. Are we clear?”
“Yes, of course.”
The man laughed, it rumbled deep in his chest, like a dragon getting ready to breathe fire. “Good. I’m so glad we could have a more productive conversation today. Maybe little Homura should be invited to all our talks, as a mediator, or something.”
“That’s not—I promise that’s not necessary." Her mother wrung her hands uncomfortably. She watched Homura who was twisting and crying in the man's lap. "We, uh, we don’t have to do that, I’ll make sure to do my payments and you don’t have to come back here. I promise.”
He hummed, running his hands through her hair one more time before letting her go. She ran to her mom, hiding behind her legs, pressing her face into her side. “We’ll see. I better see my money too, or instead of taking something from you, I’ll take little Homura instead.”
Her mom rubbed her back as the men began to pack up. One of them grabbed one of the candles and blew it out with a laugh. Her mother watched them leave, flinching when they slammed the door. “Mama?” Homura said after a second. Her mother crumbled, falling to her knees and crying. She wrapped her arms around Homura and sobbed into her shoulder.
Homura gave her mother a big hug, rubbing her back and trying to keep the tears back herself. She did not like that man. She had to make sure she gave him that money. When her mom finished crying and moved to the couch to lie down. Homura went to light the candle back, trying to think of ways to come up with the money the scary man was owed.
approximately six years later
It was almost dark by the time Homura picked Yuki up. He was sitting outside with a woman, she suspected a teacher, who looked very upset to be there. Yuki saw her and called her name, running over to her and the lady looked over at him. “Are you Yuki’s parent?”
Homura grunted when he barreled into her. Fresh and old injuries lit up around her midsection and she had to breathe through her teeth as she pried him off. “No… I’m his older sister. I’m sorry I’m late, the train was delayed.”
A lie, but the lady didn’t seem to care. “This is the third time Yuki’s been picked up late this week. If a caretaker cannot come before the 4 PM dismissal time, he will no longer be able to be enrolled here.” She handed her a letter, it was sealed but probably something with that similar information. “Give this to your parents. Yuki is a very bright student, I’d hate to see his education suffer due to a lack of responsibility.” The woman gave her a side eye and Homura forced herself not to sneer at her, instead fixing a polite smile on her face.
“I understand, thank you.” She grabbed Yuki’s hand and turned around, walking away. Yuki began to tell her all about her day and she listened quietly. Her brain felt like it was full of cotton. It’s been three weeks since she’s been at the prison school and she’s gotten into a fight almost every day. Which, for the record, she started none of them! It was causing her to have migraines by the time she got home. Her entire body was hurting all the time and there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
To top it off, her mother still hadn’t paid the water bill so they had to go to a local gym to shower. Thankfully, they knew her and Yuki, so they weren’t too strict since they were younger kids. She paid the membership in cash for a month whenever they needed a shower. Yuki called it their 'adventure bath time', so there’s that.
“Mura, what are we eating for dinner today? I’m hungry,” Yuki asked, twisting her shirt as she stood in front of him on the bus.
“I’m not sure, I’ll make dinner when we get home.”
“Okay…” he hummed, looking down. “I didn’t get lunch today, Mura.”
“What?” She looked down at him, confused. “Why? I packed your lunch today, didn’t I?” She thought back to this morning, so much had happened today, she couldn’t remember. Did she leave it on the counter? No, it went in the bag with his homework folder. Unless she left his homework folder too. Shit, did she forget to do his homework with him?
“Someone took it, Mura,” he sniffed, looking up at her. “He’s another kid in my class. He’s a big kid too. An–And he said I have a villain sister so he took my food!”
Homura blinked, staring at him. “Did… you tell a teacher?”
“She was busy. And I–I didn’t wanna get in a fight, I know I’m not supposed to fight, right? That’s your job, so I just… I didn’t eat lunch.”
Homura stared at the ground and she felt her emotions building up inside her. Another thing on her to-do list. She’d write a note and get her mom to sign it. She wasn’t sure if her mom had his teacher’s numbers to have a conference. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll handle it. I’ll find some good food to eat too, when we get home, okay? Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay, Mura.” He kicked his legs on the bench and she glanced at the window, waiting for their stop to come up.
Homura unlocked the door, letting Yuki run inside, helping him take his shoes off before she did her own. Her mother wasn’t home, her night shift should’ve started by now. She went to the kitchen and searched the fridge and cabinet. She pulled out cans and leftover food that didn’t look too bad. Yuki pulled his homework out of his backpack, beginning to go over it. He read the short passages aloud while she listened and cooked.
They fell into a familiar rhythm—Homura reheating old food, Yuki finishing his homework. She stood at the stove, watching the can of corn slowly heat over the sputtering gas stove. Just as she was about to dish it out, the lights cut out in the apartment.
“Mura?” Yuki said, confused in the darkness.
Homura cut the stove off, taking the food out of the microwave. Cold dinner it is. “It’s okay, probably a local outage. I’ll get the candles.” She moved, going to the familiar basket of half-used candles. She’d have to get them refilled at Mr Moe’s soon.
She lit a few candles, setting one beside Yuki. “Keep reading, I’m going to ask Ms Kiki if I can use her phone to call the power company. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.” He looked back at his work. Homura slipped her shoes on and stepped out the house. She locked it behind herself and walking over to Ms Kiki’s apartment a few doors down. She wasn’t sure if she would be home, but it was best to try anyway. She knocked on the door and waited. She could hear the television running inside, playing her usual shows that she’d make Homura watch with her when she was younger. Drama shows, usually, reality television and a lot of noise.
“Coming!” A voice called from inside and a minute later, Ms Kiki answered. She was a bigger woman now, but still had that kind smile and long black hair. It was wrapped behind a scarf with a clip holding it down. “Hello Homura sweetie! What can I do for you?”
“Our power went out. Can I borrow a phone to call our power company?”
“Of course, come on in,” she waved inside and Homura stepped in. She grabbed her phone off the table, handing it to Homura. She typed the number she memorized by heart, eying a cat stalking towards her. “You don’t look too good. Are you still getting into those fights at school?”
“Something like that,” she murmured, waiting for the phone to pick up.
“That is a nasty habit,” Ms Kiki sighed. “It’s not becoming of a young lady. I know your mother had a hard time raising you, but running rampant in the school is not a good answer.”
“I understand—hello? I’d like to speak to an operator, please.” She turned away, waiting for the phone to hold music to finish.
“I mean, you’re so young, Homura, I remember when you were too small to crawl up on the couch by yourself. I used to swing you around and sit with you and watch television! Do you remember that?” Homura nodded, waiting rather impatiently for the phone to pick up.
Ms Kiki kept rambling and Homura tried not to think about how much her head was aching. There was so much noise in here. The cats mewling by the cabinets, the television running, the music playing on the phone, the electricity running through the walls and into the lights. It was oppressive—she almost wanted to step outside to breathe.
The phone finally picked up. “Hello. I’m calling for the Ito Emi account in Adachi Ward, number 11923.”
“One moment.” She waited even more. At this point, Ms Kiki went back to tend to her cats, pulling food out the cabinets. “Okay, Ms Ito? Yes, it shows here that you are two months behind on your bill.”
Homura froze, what? She’s been reminding her mother to pay that bill for ages! “I’m sorry, did you say two months?”
“Yes. It shows you haven’t paid last month and requested an extension. We cannot provide another one for you at this time. You’ll have to pay the back pay on your bill to receive power and water to your apartment.”
“I’m sorry, there has to be a mistake. I paid the bill last month!” She remembered oto, she made sure to do it, it was on her list. She removed the bill from the fridge, used her mother’s card and paid it. What were they talking about?
“Yes, it looks like there was an attempt but it was canceled. The money was refunded back to you.”
“It was canceled!?” Homura tried to breathe, holding onto the door. “Okay… alright. Thank you very much. We’ll get that handled.”
“Of course, is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No. Have a good day.” She hung up the phone, setting it down on the table beside her. “Thank you, Ms Kiki.”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Ms Kiki said, looking concerned. “If there’s anything I can do to help, you can call me, alright?”
“I know. Thank you.” She turned to leave, going back to her apartment and unlocking the door. Yuki was still sitting at the table. His head was down and his little shoulders rising and falling. She sighed, taking her shoes off and prepping three bowls of food.
She shook Yuki’s shoulders gently to wake him up. “You eat dinner, I’ll check your homework, okay?”
He nodded sleepily, grabbing his plastic fork and eating the cold leftovers and corn. When he finished eating, she had finished checking his homework. He got it mostly correct, as far as she could tell.. She put the work back in his folder, pulled out his lunch box and set it on the table, she’d pack it later.
Yuki looked even sleepier after eating so she picked him up and brought him to bed. She helped him change into his pajamas—she made a reminder to go to the laundromat this weekend. She was sure her mom had clothes she needed washed too.
“Goodnight, Yuki,” she said and tucked him into bed. She kissed him lightly on the forehead. He murmured a response, kissing her lightly on the cheek before curling up under the thin covers and falling asleep.
Homura left the door open as she went back to the table, finishing her own dinner and sitting quietly.
It was hours before her mother returned. It was far later than Homura should be awake considering the time she had to get up in the morning. She anticipated not getting much sleep that night—she could try to sleep at school if her classmates left her alone. It wasn’t like they taught anything, anyway.
Her mom closed the door roughly behind her, trying to flick on the light switch to no avail. “It’s out,” Homura said from the kitchen table. Her mother startled slightly, finally seeing the dim lit candle beside her, casting a bit of a shadow.
“Well, pay the damn bill,” she gruffed, putting her bags down and taking her heels off. She saw her put the tequila in her purse, a half finished bottle of Jimador sloshing around.
“I did. Two months ago. The company said it was canceled. Why did you cancel the payment?”
“I needed the money,” Emi rolled her eyes. “We’re hardly in here anyways, no way that bill should be that damn high.”
“I can’t make dinner without electricity,” she argued. “And we haven’t paid the water bill yet. People are going to start to ask questions when Yuki goes to school smelling like yesterday’s funk. Why didn’t you put the money in the account for that?”
“Because I needed it!” her mother snapped. “It’s my fucking money, I get to say where it goes!”
“What are me and Yuki supposed to do!?” Homura yelled back.
“Get a fucking job!” Emi threw her hands in the air. “Call for an extension, do something! Don’t argue with me and you don’t tell me how I spend my fucking money either!”
“I can’t, I tried,” she snapped. “Nobody hires twelve year olds.”
“Someone will,” she hissed and Homura’s body froze. Chills crept up her spine, a familiar unease that made her stomach twist, the anger retreating to fear.
“Don’t say that.” She hissed, her nails digging into the plastic of the old table. “I’m not doing that again.”
“Then get used to cold food and no water,” her mother laughed. “And unless you want to spend your night outside or in the fucking closet, I suggest mind your business.” Homura balled her fists, wanting to retaliate but she knew her mom wasn’t lying on that threat so kept her mouth shut. “I get to spend my money however I want. I have things I need too! There’s no fucking reason why I should be living in a shithole like this with two ungrateful fucking demons for kids!”
“Whatever,” Homura said, looking at the woman with disgust. “I don’t care what you do with your fucking money, just pay your goddamn bills.” She pushed away from the table, walking away from her mother who glared holes into her back.
Yuki was still asleep when she put her pajamas on and crawled. She tried to sleep, ignoring the threat of the closet or working again. Her mind conjured upsetting images of being in the closet while her mom pushed images into her head. The way she banged on the door until her nails and fists bled, she screamed her voice hoarse until she let her out.
She tried to breathe, but only ended up staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.
Homura jolted awake to the train buzzer. The train was nearly empty. Most of the passengers were older businessmen giving her a puzzled expression. She glanced up, seeing the glowing sign of Shinjuku City far past where the train line should be. Damn, she missed her stop.
Homura stood, going to the doors and glancing out the windows and swore. She was far past where she should be. Other passengers were giving her the side eye but she didn’t care, going to the door and waiting for the train to stop. When it finally did, she hopped off, looking up at the sign. She was in Shibuya City, far past Shinjuku. She’d have to take the train all the way back the opposite way, which would mean she’d be far past arrival for school. They were going to hold her after again for community service, which would mean that she’d be late picking up Yuki—again.
“Fuck!” She snapped, pulling at her hair. She barely had time to do it this morning. With the water not running she had to use water bottles to wet it and brush it into a messy ponytail.
Homura was tired. She needed a shower. Her entire body was sore and Yuki might get kicked out of school! All because she was too stupid to stay awake on the bus and get off at the right stop! She was a terrible older sister! She had one job, one responsibility and she kept fucking it up! And now, Yuki was going to lose his school because of her!
Her eyes burned with tears as she stared up at the sign. Fifteen minutes until the next train. That meant forty minutes until she got to the station and another twenty-five minutes walking. Over an hour for one fucking mistake. She wanted to sit on the ground and cry. If she missed school, her mom would be fined money they didn’t have and she'd get sent to jail, or whatever that letter said. She couldn’t afford to miss school, but if Yuki got kicked out of school, she couldn’t afford to stay home all day with him. He couldn’t stay by himself and he definitely couldn’t come here.
Her head was hurting so bad and she felt a sinking feeling in her gut. Her nose was aching and when she wiped it blood smeared across the back of her hand. She didn’t know what to do, she had nobody to call. She couldn’t tell her mom, she already threatened to lock her in the closet, or make her start working again. She couldn’t do that—she hated it, she didn’t want to do it again. Anger and frustration twisted inside her. It coiled tight, upset and it clogged her throat so she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know what to do! She had to find something else, she could find a job herself, someone would hire her, right?
If she didn’t work, would her mom make Yuki work instead? She couldn’t, people cared about Yuki. He wasn’t quirkless and at a villain prison school. He learned in school, did his homework, and his teachers liked him. He didn’t fight and have problems in his head like she did, he was a good kid. She wouldn’t make him work.
She’d do it if it meant Yuki didn’t have to. She had to be a big sister, she had responsibilities. The thought made her want to throw up. Clumps of hair tangled between her fingers, torn from her scalp and she vaguely felt the stinging pain. They needed the money. She’d have to look into new schools for Yuki when he got kicked out. They’d need to go to the library this afternoon, then, if it wasn’t too late. Her mom wouldn’t like that, but it was okay if it meant Yuki didn’t have to work. She could do it if—
Someone’s hand touched her shoulder lightly. Homura jumped away, stumbling and grabbing the train sign nearby. She stared up at a tall man with long hair, dark eyes, and a concerned expression. He said something but her ears were ringing and she wasn’t paying attention—how long were her ears ringing for?
He said something else and Homura blinked. She took another step away from him. “What?”
“I said, are you okay?”
“Yes sir.”
He frowned at her. His eyes trailed down to the loose hair in her hands and then back to her face, eyeing the bruises on her face. Homura looked away, untangling her fingers and wiped her face. Her tears mixed with blood from her nose, staining her sleeves a dark burgundy. “Do you need me to call someone?”
“No, I’m fine.” She looked back up at the train schedule—still a 15-minute wait. It hadn’t changed at all, it was probably delayed down the line, who’s telling how long it’d be. Homura’s fists balled up and she felt like she wanted to hit something. Almost two hours late to school, her mother was going to kill her. She didn’t have to worry about the closet or working again. She wasn’t going to make it past the day.
The man checked his watch, and looked back at her with a concerned gaze. “You don’t look fine. Did you get lost or separated from a parent?”
“I just… I missed my stop. I’m fine, I can wait.”
The man nodded, but didn’t seem too convinced. “How far is your school from here? I can call you a taxi.”
“It’s not far, I can take the train.”
“Kid, you seem stressed out about being late to school. If it’s not that far, I’ll cover it for you so you can get there on time.” He reached into his pocket to take out his wallet, rifling through a couple of bills.
Homura took another step away from the man, untrusting and confusing at this point. “You don’t have to do that, I’m going to be fine.”
He didn’t respond to that, holding out a few thousand yen notes to her. “Take it. Call a cab and get to school. Let them know your train was delayed, they might let you off easy.”
She shook her head staring at the money. Would that be enough to pay for the electricity bill? No, those usually came to twenty thousand yen. She wasn’t sure what the math was between that, but it wasn’t worth the fine if she didn’t show up at all.
The man waited for her to take it and she did, nodding a thank you to him and running out the station. Homura sprinted out of the station, barely stopping for the turnstile, and waving for the first cab that came.
Shouta watched the girl race out the station with a huff. Not even a thank you, kids these days are ridiculous. He hoped that she got to her school on time. He didn’t recognize the uniform, but he knew there weren’t any schools in this area. He occasionally patrolled here past dark when he wasn’t needed in Musutafu. He was already late for the entrance exams today, he got a call about a case from Tsukauchi in the morning. He wouldn’t have missed anything besides the hour-long written test. By the time he arrived, they would’ve started their practical.
He glanced down at the ground where the girl stood, the tile warped, like a mini sink-hole into the concrete. That was how he noticed something was wrong, seeing the girl sink into the earth. Then he saw the tears, the nose bleed, and hair pulling—clearly a sign of some type of mental breakdown. He wasn’t sure about the bruising on her cheek and bags under her eyes, they didn’t look old but it was questionable. Shouta’s hero training almost kicked in to ask about it, if he didn’t notice how antsy and skittish the girl was. He was almost worried she wouldn’t take the money. He didn’t think she’d do any better being on a train with an uncontrolled quirk.
Shouta sighed, checking his watch, it was too early for this. He checked the train schedule—2 minutes. He frowned, it just said 15-minutes. He shrugged it was probably a glitch in their system. Still, he was glad he sent her on her way, she clearly didn’t need that added to her day. He stepped over the small dip in the ground and waved a station hand over to let them know about it as he waited for his train.
Notes:
CW: threats of child neglect/abuse, exploitation, fic-typical violence
⁂
heyyy we met aizawa!! literally my man my man my man lmfao. and, my girl homura is stressed, but its gonna be alright im sure lol
i did an unjust amount of research for this chapter reviewing the public transport system of tokyo lol. i know the fukutoshin line that homura is on wouldn't run through adachi ward where she lives (fukutoshin goes nw to s, adachi is ne/n) but lets just suspend imagination for this fic lol for the sake of this, she took a bus east, dropped yuki off, hopped on the metro & got mixed up.
also, side note, i didn't know that musutafu wasn't a real city in japan? isnt that wild, i was shocked when i went to google maps to map this shit out and that shit wasnt pullin up lmaoo
anyways! hope you enjoyed this chapter, i love homura's lil spirals it lets me write stream of concisousness which is always fun. idk if the next update will be sooner rather than later, i need to write/edit more chapters before i start postin more, but i just like seein the fic on my page lol. see yall later ✌🏾
Chapter 4: 4 | my whole world just fell apart
Summary:
chapter title: never felt so alone by labrinth
⁂content warnings at the end
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Homura couldn’t believe the day she had. After that man gave her the yen for the taxi, she made it to school only twenty minutes late. She told Ms. Hara about the train delay and she let her go with a warning. Ms Hara knew she usually was on time to school since she left so early, so she was grateful for that.
The school day wasn’t as bad as the others. They only had a few more weeks left in the term so some kids started skipping class, or coming in late as well. Homura was able to listen to Mr Bando because so many kids were out—only three of them were in class today. Mr. Bando, for his part, seemed relieved. The smaller classroom setting meant less chaos, which meant she could actually learn something. Granted, they were all so far behind in whatever he thought he was teaching. She didn’t quite understand, but it still felt good to sit in a vaguely normal classroom setting.
By the time the day ended, Homura had nearly forgotten the stress she felt starting it. She was still pretty tired from not getting enough rest, but otherwise it was a fairly good day. Best of all, she had a couple extra yen from the train man earlier! After school Homura stopped by a shop to pick up a treat for Yuki. It was just a candy bar and a juice but she was sure he’d love it.
She made it to his school a few minutes behind schedule, but not super late like the day before. Homura walked with a smile on her face as she saw his schoolmates get picked up with their parents. She made a mental reminder to ask his teacher about the bully Yuki was experiencing too. She hoped they didn’t take his lunch again, she would hate to have to fight some kids' parents.
Ten minutes passed and most of the students had left. Even some teachers had made their way home, eyeing her curiously as she sat by the maple tree.
After a half hour, nobody was leaving the school anymore and Yuki still hadn’t come out. Homura stood up, walking up to the school, past the gates, and to the front door. She knocked on the door, waiting patiently. Some people were still inside, administrators by the looks of it. Homura recognized a few in the parent-teacher conferences she had to sit in with Yuki earlier that term.
After a few minutes, a woman came to the door, the same teacher as yesterday. “Hello. How can I help you?”
“I’m waiting for Ito Yuki. He hasn’t come out yet.”
“Yuki was dismissed already,” she frowned. “His father came by to pick him up.”
Homura stared at the woman, face blank. “His… what?”
“His father?" Now the teacher looked confused. "He came by early to pick him up, he said you were out sick, apparently.”
“What do you—?” Homura shook her head, ignoring the way her heart pounded in her chest. “I don’t understand. Yuki doesn’t have a father. Who came to get him?”
The woman’s face contorted into confusion, “I’m… aware his father is not really in the picture. I called his mother to confirm and she said that was correct. Maybe you should ask your mom, sweetie.”
Homura nodded absently. She took a step off from the stairs and then turned around and ran. She sprinted all the way to the bus stop, pacing back and forth at the stop, waiting for it to come. Her hands were back in her hair as she tried to understand what was going on. Where was her brother? Did her mom have someone from her work pick him up? Maybe it was Mr. Kato. Why would she have Mr. Kato pick him up—he’s never picked her up before and her mom knew she picked Yuki up from school. Why would she call to confirm? Did she miss something at home? Maybe her mom left a note she didn’t see about the change in schedule.
By the time she made it to the apartment, she had started to calm down slightly. This was a misunderstanding. Her mom probably had Yuki and didn’t tell her. She unlocked the door and walked inside, absently taking off her shoes and flicking the lights on. She was about to turn it back off again, forgetting the bill wasn’t paid, but then the lights flickered to life.
Homura froze, staring at the lit up living room. The old yellowed bulbs making the apartment seem eerier than usual. “Yuki? Are you home?” No response. She didn’t see his shoes by the door either.
She sat down at the kitchen table, holding her head in her hands. Her mind was racing and she didn’t know what to do. Maybe he was with her mom. He had to be with her mom.
Yuki would be hungry when they came home. She should make dinner. Homura went through the motions, her mind elsewhere as she moved to the kitchen. She grabbed what was leftover from yesterday. Yuki would be glad for warm food, now. She heated the bowls in the microwave. She stared blankly at it spun around and around and around on the crusted, dirty broken plate inside. It wobbled a little, every few seconds, as if unsure to turn on the axle it was made for.
Homura was still staring at the microwave, now long finished and beeping every thirty seconds, when the door opened. She had forgotten about the food, forgotten about everything. She was just lost in her thoughts for so long, it had to be hours.
Her mother walked into the house, mumbling something under her breath as she took her shoes and coat off. “Is that dinner?” She asked as she put her belongings up.
“Where’s Yuki?” Homura asked, looking at her.
“I’m starving, can you make me a plate?”
“Mom, where is Yuki? He wasn’t at school when I went to pick him up. Do you have him?” Homura stared at her mom, and when she finally locked eyes with her, she understood.
“We needed the money.” Emi tried to say but Homura wasn’t listening, she leaned against the stove, a hand clamped to her chest. Tears were back in her eyes and she wasn’t—she couldn’t breathe. “They’ll give him back, they just needed an, uh, incentive. To show I’d pay them back.”
“You sold him?!” She screamed, and that tension in her body cracked. The ball of anger in her chest coiling into something more dangerous and sinister. She felt like she was losing her mind. Everything was suddenly too loud, too much. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think. Her eyes were watering with tears and that migraine in her head came back tenfold.
“Don’t be dramatic. I’m sure they’re taking care of him, it won’t be for long.” Her hands gripped the counters behind her, a shrewd attempt to steady herself. At that moment, everything seemed to explode.
Shouta had a long day at the entrance exams. There were several prospects, definitely some he’d want to see in his class. Most either needing help with quirk management or over-reliance. He had to stay later for these discussions. Usually they manage to finalize the entrance exam list by the end of next week. In the meantime, he still had classwork he needed to wrap up. That would take equally as long as brainstorming the curriculum he would need to adjust for an over-reliant classroom.
He sighed. Hizashi was already on his way home, he had to get on his radio show by 6 PM. They would have to see each other back at the apartment, before his night shift for patrol.
He had been staring at his computer screen for hours. He casually scrolled through footage, pausing to take notes on the side of first looks at quirks. His eyes were burning and he was getting a headache. It was best to call it a night, maybe even take a page out of the train girl’s book and call a cab to get home.
Shouta began to wrap up, packing his computer and thinking about what was in the fridge to cook for dinner. Hizashi would appreciate a nice meal when he got home. They tended to switch off with cooking dinners. While Shouta wasn’t as much of a chef as his partner was, he’d gotten better in their years together to whip up something.
Before he could leave the building, his phone pinged with a text message from Tsukauchi.
Hate to call you in early, but there’s an emergency.
Unnatural quirk usage near Adachi. Not sure what’s going on.
Edge is in the area, Warp Stride enroute to you.
He sighed, responding with a thumbs up and tucking his belongings under his desk. At least he was still in his hero costume for school. He hated traveling via teleport, it was like motion sickness times ten. He grabbed his emergency utility belt from his desk drawer as he headed to the front of the campus to meet Warp Stride.
He found them hopping on foot to foot outside of the gates. Nedzu had the school blocked from any teleportation style quirks. Shouta wasn’t sure how but he didn’t ask questions. Their costume was a slick yellow and black color with a wave pattern near the sides. They grinned up at them, waving proudly, their mouth talking a mile a minute. “Hi Eraserhead! It’s an honor to work with you, I know you’re an underground hero but I’ve been following your work for a while and—”
“Glad to see you too. Tsukauchi said it was an emergency, maybe we can do introductions after.” The young hero looked a little startled by that, nodding expressively.
“Oh yeah! Absolutely, of course!” They reached out to take his hand but stopped. “Sorry, uh, I need to hold your hand while we do this, or else half of you might end up in Kanagawa.”
Shouta frowned, holding his hand out and Warp Stride smiled nervously, closing their eyes as they summoned their quirk.
The familiar pulling feeling at his feet as their ability conjured around them. They were sinking through the ground and falling. He felt like he was strapped to the front of a high speed railway through space. It felt like riding a rollercoaster straight to hell. Shouta was barely able to swallow back the nausea as they finally landed.
He stumbled a bit, sending out a hand to right himself and Warp Stride grabbed it. “There you go, all in one piece!” They beamed at him. “So, like I was saying, great to meet you—”
“Kid, we’ve got to do this later,” Shouta said, looking around. They were in the middle of the street but there was something buzzing in the air, like a storm brewed above them.
He didn’t hear any motion, not even a car moving down the street. There was one a few meters away, idling with the lights still on. He reached for his phone to let Tsukauchi know they'd arrived, but he had no signal. “We’re blacked out. Do you know Edge’s ETA?”
“No, Edge was supposed to already be in the city. Is it a villain attack?”
Shouta looked around. He’s been in Adachi Ward many times, usually it was a shady but busy area, people lurked on the corners or inside stores. Now, it was like the area was holding its breath, unsure whether it was populated or not. “I’m… not sure. Keep your guard up and connect to local comms. If you see Edgeshot give him the same directions, we stick together until backup shows.”
He began to walk, going up to one of the cars that was stuck in the middle of the road. There was someone behind the wheel, a woman with a dog strapped into the passenger’s seat. The dog was laying down, head in paws, shivering in the back and whining a little. The woman was staring ahead, unblinking and eyes watering. Tears were running down her cheeks, her hands trembling behind the wheel. “Hello? Ma’am? Can you put the window down please?”
The woman didn’t respond. He reached for the door, finding it locked and frowning. He looked at the dashboard and checked his watch. The time was stopped, her clock almost twenty minutes behind. “Warp, keep an eye out for more civilians. If this area is under a villian attack, we need to have the place evacuated.”
“Got it.” They swept through the area, eventually finding a few civilians. None of them responded to any questions or movement. Warpstride also couldn’t move the civilians either, else they’d suffer quirk exhaustion. So, they just kept track of what areas were incapacitated and continued moving.
They eventually found Edgeshot as well, but he wasn’t moving either. He stood stalled by the side of a building, staring into nothing with tears down his face. Whatever found him petrified him with the rest of the city. Shouta frowned, “Warp, take Edgeshot and get out of the blackout area. Call Tsukauchi for back up, whatever’s going on, we need a bigger team than this.” He checked Edgeshot’s device, thankful to find it as frozen as he was. It was only a few minutes behind his own. Whatever petrified him had to be close by.
He looked down, at Edgeshot’s feet was a trail of red flowers, but not any flower he could recognize. It was like a child’s depiction of a flower, something drawn, hastily colored, and given life. It stood still with no breeze to sway in, another unnatural aspect to this city.
“What about you?” Warpstripe looked confused as they checked Edgeshot’s vitals.
“I’ll stay in the area,” Shouta said, putting Edge’s phone back in his pocket. “If you see what’s causing this, do not engage. I’ll stay on local comms, let me know when you re-entry.”
“Got it,” they grabbed Edgeshot’s hand and disappeared. Shouta sighed, looking down to where Edgeshot was staring at. Whatever caused him to freeze was only a few minutes ahead. He glanced down at the trail of flowers, deciding to follow those. He left a marker behind to let any reinforcements know.
After a few minutes of walking he saw movement. A cream colored car was rolling past, but the model was incredibly older than what it should be. It looked like it came out of a black and white film. Before he could flag them down, someone else walked nearby. It was a woman wearing an equally as vintage outfit pushing an old carriage with big wheels and a metal wire top. The lady was staring ahead, a placid smile on her face. She had a long a-line skirt mixed with a traditional kimono design. Her face was painted like a glass doll, and she had the same tear tracks down her face.
“Ma’am, are you alright? Can you hear me?” He stepped up to help her and felt a sharp pain in his head causing him to stumble back. It was like bad feedback pulling at every part of his head. Flashes of images he couldn’t control. A little boy with a bright smile laughing, spinning in circles, sitting on an old couch eating a bowl of ground crackers.
Shouta stepped away, trying to right his mind. His hand reached for his utility belt, pulling the metal headband out and strapping it to his head. His mind quieted, the images disappearing. He silently thanked Nedzu for his insane inventions, including a limited use mental quirk blocker. He’d have to give the principal a report on it when he returned. When, not if, after he figured out whatever was going on here.
He stepped back near the woman, who was still walking towards nowhere. He watched as soon as she stepped out of the area, her outfit changed to a casual tracksuit. In her hands was a shopping cart full of groceries and household items. She stopped walking, staring at the distance, unmoving. Shouta tried to talk to her, to no avail, just like all the other civilians he met.
The colorized old-timey area was the only space full of movement. People talking to one another, or really their lips were moving with no noise. When he tried to talk to them, they didn’t move to show that they heard him. The cars drove by, narrowly missing each other, and as soon as they moved away from the area they stopped moving. He saw a few cars piled up behind each other and left a note there as well for first responders.
Finally, the trail of uncanny flowers stopped. In the distance, there was a girl walking into an alley. She had a familiar uniform on and she stumbled as she moved down the street. Her hand was against the brick wall for support, leaving a trail behind her, like it was disappearing under her touch.
“Hey, kid,” Shouta called out and the girl stopped.
In that same moment, the entire city seemed to take a breath all at once, the eyes unseeing turning to him. The girl turned around to look at him and his eyes went wide. It was the same girl from earlier. Her dark, curly hair pulled into a frazzled ponytail. On her face were the same fading bruises and dark circles under her eyes. Now, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot red from crying leaving distinct tear tracks down her face. Her nose was bleeding, rivets of blood were slightly diluted with the tears. He watched them drip off her face and hit the ground. In that spot sprouted the same uncanny flower trail. The girl was staring at him, mouth agape and eyes unfocused her hand was shaking against the wall. The strange, black-and-white film effect spread beneath her fingers, climbing to other parts of the wall and area.
Shouta took this all in and tried to relax his stance, seem more approachable and friendly. Although her body was turned towards him, she didn't seem all the way here. “Are you okay?” He stepped closer, feeling the tension from the headband rise, like a sudden pressure against the metal. It felt like it would snap if he moved again, so he didn't. The energy in the air was palpable here, the alley smelled like straight ozone.
Suddenly, the voices of the entire enthralled city spoke at once. Every person, animal, even the fucking bugs buzzed in unison with her voice. “I’m looking for him.”
Chills ran down his spine and he felt the need to turn and walk away, as if he entered the wrong scene in a horror movie. It took all he had in him to focus and hold his ground, he had to help this girl, and whatever happened to him. “Who’s‘him’?”
“Yuki.” The echoes replied. Then every living thing began to buzz, hum, growl, and snarl with life. The enthralled life became something angry and sinister. “She sold him.”
The city wailed. It was loud and oppressive. His hands moved to covered his ears, it was like the sound system in an concert at full volume on his ears. Thousands of people, millions of living things began to sob and chitter and mourn a child they didn’t know. He thought about the image he saw flashed in his mind. Someone sold her child—no, her brother. She was too young for kids. The ‘she’ had to be an adult, on the platform she didn’t want him calling a parent earlier. Maybe a mom or an aunt?
He had to grit his teeth to think, his headband was aching against his temples. It felt like it was warping in on his head. If it wasn't the only thing barring her enthrall, he would've snatched it off. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Yuki is gone. But, right now your quirk is not in control. You’re hurting a lot of people right now. I want to help you, okay?”
The girl stared at him with that same blank expression from earlier. As if she wasn’t hearing him and needed time to process what he was saying. “What… quirk?”
He raised an eyebrow, looking around, “All of this. It's you, kid. My quirk can erase other quirks, I need to use it on you. You won’t feel anything.”
“Yuki. She sold him." She swayed on her feet, the tears in her eyes began to run red. "I need to find Yuki.”
“I know,” he reassured. “We can find him together. But, we have to fix this first, okay?” She didn’t respond to that, staring past him and into the sky. He glanced back too, seeing the lights of a helicopter coming in from the distance. She raised her hand towards it and the lights disappeared. Suddenly, he heard shouting as the helicopter began to fall out of the sky. The girl groaned in front of him, clutching her head in her hands and turning away. Before she could leave, or do anything else, Shouta activated his quirk.
His ears popped immediately, and the pressure at his temples lessened. All at once the city went back into motion. The old film imagery disappearing, the people, cars, and buildings returning to normal. Then, there was the cacophony of several vehicles crashing into each other. That was immediately followed by hundreds of people screaming and smoke rising into the sky.
His communicator went off immediately. “–head check in!” The girl stumbled, both hands holding the wall now, he kept his eyes on her as she struggled to hold herself up.
“Eraserhead checking in. The disturbance was uncontrolled quirk usage. I need EMTs on sight immediately. Several car accidents and civilian distress.” He hurried over to her, reaching out to help her but she wriggled out of his grip.
“Yuki, we–we need to find Yuki.”
“One thing at a time, you need help first. I have an ambulance coming for you now.” He reached into his belt, pulling out quirk inhibitors. He wasn’t sure how much it would do against such an insane powerful mental quirk, but it should stall something. He tried to reach for her to put it on her wrists but she pushed him away, trying to walk.
“No! Get off me!” She screamed, dragging herself down the alley. “We need to get him! I… need—” she trailed off and projectile vomited all over the walls and bins. Eraserhead hardly caught her before she fainted. He put the cuffs on her wrists and ankles for good measure, then carried her out of the alley into the open street.
Several cars were piled on top of each other, most of them struggling to get people out. Heroes nearby were beginning to arrive. Some were flying in and pulling people out of the wreckage. He saw smoke in the distance as well, likely a few buildings on fire. The helicopter was thankfully still in the air. It was circling the area, the lights highlighting areas in distress.
Shouta has never seen quirk damage to this extent before, especially not from a mental quirk. She had at least six blocks completely enthralled in some type of mass hallucination because she lost her brother. That, or someone sold him. He had a lot of questions, first of all starting with identifying who this child was and what was going on.
Notes:
CW: descriptions of blood and vomiting
welcome to the chapter that started teh whole idea for this fic! man, wandavision really changed my brainchemistry, frfr. anyways, sorry this update took so long, house was burning down, yada yada, ive been tryna stockpile chapters so i can update more regularly but that actually didn't work because my top motivator is attention and praise so that was a terrible plan lol anyways i hope yall like this chapter i loveee her quirk, its definitely overpowered and ridiculous but honestly i dont care. i love reading about terrifyingly powerful people so hopefully yall will enjoy it too. homura is my fav girl frfr
hopefully ill update sooner rather than later next time, honestly no promises im a full time teacher so well see anyways xoxo gossip girl see yall next time ✌🏾
Chapter 5: homura | the truth is i was only trying to make it right
Notes:
chapter title: constant bullshit by summer walker
⁂
cw at the end
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The pressure of blood in her head thrummed steadily, pulsing at her temples with an aching beat. Homura's breath rattled out, causing the pressure to worsen sharply. Piercing brightness met her eyes when she tried to crack them open, only causing the throbbing to worsen. She let out a soft groan. Her arm trembled as she raised it over her face, drooping it on her eyes. The meager attempt at solace causing the sudden weakness to build in her. Something heavy weighed at her wrists, causing her strain. Her fingers trailed against it, smooth, cold metal bands that hummed with a strange vibration to them. Her hands weren’t cuffed together, but it was heavy, at least five pounds on each wrist.
She must’ve gotten in a fight—a bad one if she was cuffed, apparently. Was she arrested? What happened? She tried to think back but her head pounded against her skull, an angry reminder her of physical condition. It hurt to breathe, to open her eyes, to do anything. There was noise around her too, contributing to her head pains. She could hear a steady beeping sound next to her, higher pitched and noisy—why was it always noisy? Homura huffed, moving and feeling the weight on her arms dragging her down. She had covers draped over her body, so she used that to pull over her head to block the lights and slowly open her eyes.
Filtered through the thin white cotton blanket was a small room. She couldn’t tell much, but she knew it was unfamiliar to her. After her eyes adjusted to the light, she peeked her head out from the blanket. She blinked a few times, taking in the light and the strange room. It took her a moment to realize where she was at. She was in a hospital, she’s only seen them from television shows. This area was more colorful than the shows. She was used to the dull white and blue colors on the screen, bustling carts, and dozens of people chattering around the screen. The room was a cream color with yellow pastel accents. There were pictures on the walls, illustrated images of heroes that traversed commercials and kid's cartoons. She recognized the dark blue and red of All Might and Endeavor’s fiery uniform. She didn’t know much else than that. Most of the images were behind the standing medical equipment, which seemed to be the source of the noise.
Homura forced herself to sit up, her arms shaking as she moved. She was so weak, she felt like a stray breeze would blow her over. Her stomach growled but she had an underlying nausea in her body. She laid down against the pillows, trying to catch her breath. Why the hell was she in a hospital? What was going on?
The door opened and a young nurse entered. She has on a colorful uniform with several pins, a clipboard decorated in stickers, and a bright smile. “Good afternoon Ms Ito! I’m so glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Why—?” She was cut off by a dry cough, her throat hoarse leaving her eyes watering and her head aching more. She tried again. “Why... am I in a hospital?”
“You had an accident. We’re at Shibuya Children’s Hospital. My name is Nurse Sumiko, I’m one of the adults responsible for your care. Can I ask how you’re feeling?”
“Like shit,” she muttered, trying to process this information. She didn’t have the money for a hospital right now. Whatever happened there must’ve been a mistake, her mom was going to kill her. “Who brought me here? I need a phone, I got to, uh—” she coughed again, leaning back into the pillows, closing her eyes. “I gotta call my mother.”
“Miss, please lay back down,” the nurse said, gently. “You need to rest—”
“I’m not laying back down until someone calls my fuckin’ mother." Her tone was sharp, irritation building in her voice. “Give me a phone, or let me write her number down. I shouldn’t be in here. Did I get fuckin’ arrested?”
The nurse looked at her warily. Her smile tightened and she set the clipboard down, holding her hands out in front of her. Homura narrowed her eyes at her, a sneer building on her lips. “Miss, I am going to have to ask you to calm down,” the woman said gently, her tone becoming more firm. “You were severely injured, it’s not good for you to be this worked up. Please lay back down or I will have to call a team in here to subdue you.”
“‘Subdue me’?!” Homura repeated with a hysterical laugh. Her irritation bleeds into agitation and anger. “What the fuck are you going to subdue me for!? I’m supposed to have a phone call! Give me a goddamn phone, I’m not talking to anyone without my mother knowing, or some fucking body. If I’m under arrest or something, I’m supposed to know or have an adult here!”
The nurse’s hand strayed to her waist, pressing a button on some walkie-talkie and giving her a strained smile. “I will try to help you as soon as you can follow directions. Please lay back down so we can properly assist you.”
“Who is ‘we’?” Homura asked, and was promptly answered by five adults bursting through the door followed by two police officers. Homura bristled, as they approached her, wearing heavy gear giving her a serious look. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Ms Ito, you need to relax, so we can assist you,” a man said, coming beside her. He was wearing gloves and reached for her arm, but she snatched it away, glaring.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” She snapped, but was quickly overwhelmed by at least four adults holding her down. Homura fought back, kicking and yelling at them. “Hey! Let go of me!” The doctors held her down on the bed, shoving her into the mattress roughly. Disgusting memories of being forced to work when her mom was behind on bills came to mind immediately and the anger turned to fear and panic.
“Get the fuck off me!! Get off!!” She screamed, and watched someone out the corner of her eye bring a large needle towards her. The screaming heightened, her heart pounding out her chest and tears came to her eyes. “No! Please, please don’t—!” She couldn’t breathe, her head was throbbing and she felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest.
The police officers reached to their belts pulling stun guns out and pointing them at her. Everyone was shouting. She was twisting under the hands of the doctors, trying to bite their arms, trying to get them off her. Someone grabbed her head and held it down too, forcing her into the bed. She didn’t want to work anymore, they couldn’t make her! The bands on her wrists vibrated. The room was beeping and everything was so loud and she was screaming herself hoarse.
Homura felt the bands crack against her wrist, as if snapping under extreme pressure. Her ears popped, her eyes watered and she began to feel sick and dizzy.
In a blink, the room quieted. The air in the room crackled like a lightning storm was brewing. Her stomach dropped like she was going down a rollercoaster. One second, she was in the pastel colored hospital room and the next she was laying on her bed in her dimly lit bedroom. The doctors holding her down disappeared leaving a floating paper doll falling in their places. Homura scrambled back up, clutching her chest and trying to breathe. She hurriedly wiped the tears away and coughed haggardly into her hand. Spots of blood flecked with mucus came from her chest.
What was going on? Was it a villain attack? Should she tell someone? She tried to move but the room tilted. Nausea rushed up her throat and she turned to the side of her bed and vomited. Bile, blood, and water spewed out and burned her throat on the way up. Her eyes watered, and if her head didn’t hurt before, it was unbearable now.
Homura fell back against her bed, weary, terrified, and confused, as the door burst open. It was a man with yellow goggles on in a black jumpsuit. He wore a chunky white scarf wrapped around his neck and a utility belt around his waist. His hair was floating around his head, standing on their ends as he looked at her.
As quickly as the room changed, it returned to the hospital room. The people returned, laying on the ground. The beeping and noise was incredibly loud, blasting in her ears. Some nurses ran out of the room immediately, one of them covered in a familiar wet substance. They dashed into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind them. The other doctors and police officers moved away from her. It was a desperate scramble as they clutched their arms like it would fall off.
Homura just stared, shocked and confused. She coughed again, feeling her noise as warm blood dribbled down. One of the remaning nurses flinched, pulling away from her. “Someone get stronger cuffs!” A police officers shouted out the door and the reminding nurses left.
She bristled again, panic returning at the sound of handcuffs. “Ito, you need to calm down.” The man with the yellow goggles said, not looking away from her for a second.
“They were—” she coughed again, blinking away tears and trying to catch her breath. “They were going to hurt me!”
“Nobody is here to hurt you,” the yellow goggles man said. “You’re in Shibuya Children’s Hospital having a quirk episode. You need to stay calm so the doctors can help you.”
Homura stared at him, now even more confused. “A what? I… a quirk episode? I can’t—I’m fucking quirkless, I can’t have a quirk episode!” One of the officers raised his stun gun and she tensed again, raising her hands. “Hey, wait! Wait! I swear I didn't do anything!! You guys got the wrong fucking person!”
“Ito, calm down,” the yellow goggles man repeated. One of the doctors stepped towards her and she scrambled away again.
“NO! Get away from me!” Homura screeched, dragging one of the large standing monitors with her. Someone caught it before it could fall down.
Homura started to yank the stickers attached to the monitors off her body. Her hands shook as she pulled the needle out her arm. She saw another adult reach for her, trying to stop her or hold her down again. She screamed, slinging a punch that connected into their nose and they stumbled back. An officer moved forward and she pushed the hands away again. They were NOT going to make her work again, she wouldn’t do it, she wouldn’t!
“Everybody stop!” The yellow goggles man snapped and the attention finally turned away from her and went to him. “Leave! Everyone get out!”
A doctor glanced at her warily, “Eraserhead—”
“I said get out!” He snapped and the adults shuffled out the room. Someone stood by the door and handed him a pair of handcuffs that were much thicker than the ones on her wrists.
When the room finally emptied, he turned back to her. His body was tense and his gaze seemed colder behind the yellow goggles. She sat tense on the bed, chest rising and falling with quick breaths. “Look, kid, I know you’re scared but I need you to put these on.” He said and held the cuffs out to her.
“I didn’t do anything!” She argued and he held out a hand.
“I know you didn’t. You’re not in trouble, I just can’t talk with you until you put these on. Please, quickly.” He set them down on the bed and stepped away from her.
Homura stared at him for a second and complied. She slid the broken cuffs off. They were cracked with in a jagged line in each. They easily came off her wrists leaving the area reddened and a little bruised. The other ones were open and she was able to click them into place with a solid snap. They were much heavier than the other ones. As soon as she put them on, her pounding headache eased a little. Her shoulders drooped and a bit of the tension left her body.
The yellow goggles man’s hair stopped floating and fell down his shoulders. Her cuff vibrated for a few seconds before they stilled, staying warm against her wrists. He huffed and reached up to pull the googles down around his neck. She blinked, realizing that this was the same man from the train platform who gave her the money to get to school. She didn’t know what he was doing here, but they called him Eraserhead, was he some type of hero?
The train man—Eraserhead, she supposed—reached into his pocket, pulling out a small bottle and putting eye drops in his eyes. “Thank you. You still need to calm down. I don’t know if they have a stronger one than those on hand.”
Homura didn't response, staring at him as he blinked the drops in his eyes and sat down. He was right, her hands were still shaking from the intensity of everything that happened. She tried to hold them to her chest to get them to stop, but it didn't work. She could still feel their hands gripping her arms and legs. She could hear her mother's voice echoing in her head. She felt like she might be sick again.
She wiped angry tears out her eyes trying to steady her breaths and focus on what was going on. Eraserhead, for his part, didn’t say anything, waiting for her to calm herself down. Finally, when it seemed like she had caught her breath and relaxed better, he spoke up. “How are you feeling, Ito?”
“I’m fine.” Homura said. “I wanted to—I just needed to call my mom. We can’t afford the hospital, I can’t be in here.”
“You don’t have to worry about affording your stay, everything will be covered,” he replied easily. “I’m more worried about you, right now. Are you sure you’re feeling alright? If you have a headache or are in any type of pain, I can ask the doctors for—”
“No!” She interrupted him and he paused, raising a thin eyebrow. "I don’t want them in here.”
“Okay, that’s fine. But, if you are in pain and it gets worse, I need you to let me know.” Homura didn’t reply to that, leaning back in the bed, easing a little. “I know you said you wanted to call your mother, right? That’s… not an option at this time.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Homura squinted, rubbing the headache at her temples. What time was it? There were no windows in here, but if it was later, she was probably still at Kato's. “If she’s at work, I can tell you where she should be at. Or, I can give you her boss’s number. He should be available, he usually answers.”
“That’s not the problem,” Eraserhead replied. “Your mother was injured, she’s in the intensive care unit at a different hospital. We have doctors attending to her to help, but currently she’s not available to be called.”
“What? Why is she there? Did someone hurt her?”
“Ito, how much do you remember?” Eraserhead voice took a more serious tone. “What’s the last thing you can remember?”
“Why are you asking me this? Can you just tell me what happened!?” Homura's hands twisted in the thin blanket, trying to ease the ball of anger twisting inside her. This train guy was as irritating as the goddamn nurses!
“It’s important. I need you to answer the question. What is the last thing you can remember? Do you remember meeting me on the train platform?”
“Yes, I remember that, I’m not fucking stupid,” she snapped. He stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate. Homura sighed heavily. “You gave me the money for school so I went to school. School was easy that day. No fights, I didn’t get in trouble, so I didn’t have to stay late and miss Yuki’s pick up.”
Homura stopped talking, her heart skipping a beat and her stomach sinking. “Yuki wasn’t at school. The school, they let him leave with someone. I asked mom and—oh my god, where’s Yuki? Where’s my brother!?”
“It’s going to be okay, Ito,” Eraserhead reassured. “We’ve got the police department and several heroes looking for him right now.”
“She sold my brother,” Homura whispered, covering her mouth. “She fucking sold him.”
“I know this is difficult, I promise you we’re doing everything in our power to help.”
“Where the fuck is she?” She turned to the man, fury shining in her eyes. “I’m going to fucking kill her. Where is she!?”
Eraserhead, for his part, didn't respond to the threat. Instead he leaned forward, pressing his hands together. “Ito, I cannot tell you where she is. I need you to calm down, we don’t have any more quirk inhibitors as strong as those.”
Quirk inhibitors? She looked at her wrists, the dull thick metal with the blinking yellow light weighing her arms down. These were quirk inhibitors? "That... doesn't make sense. Why am I wearing quirk inhibitors? I don’t have a fucking quirk!”
Eraserhead's brow furrowed, watching the light on her wrists undulate. “I know you have questions, but I cannot answer questions about you or your brother if you don’t calm down. Right now, you’re the only one with any information on where your brother might be. I need you to be calm so we can figure out where he is.”
Homura gritted her teeth, but closed her eyes, taking a breath and trying to cool that hot ball of anger inside her. She tried not to think about her mother selling her brother to the fucking yakuza or whatever the fuck they were. She didn't want to think about where he might be, what could be happening to him, or how scared he must be by now. She tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. Her hands went to her hair and she began to pull on the strands, yanking on her hair and trying to focus on anything else.
"Whoa, Ito!" Eraserhead jumped, barely stopping himself from physically restraining her from her hair. She saw his hands reach out towards her but stop as he held himself back and away, respecting her space.
“I’m trying to calm down!” She snapped and he paused, leaning away from her. She breathed shakily again, trying to focus, trying to breathe. Eraserhead noticed and moved back a little, still eying her with the same concern. She ignored it. “You said—you said I’m the only one who knows?”
“We don’t know who took your brother. You said your mother sold him, but we cannot communicate with her right now. You’re the only one who might know anything.”
Homura focused on quieting her mind down, ignoring the ache in her body and the stress building in her skull. She was the only one who knew anything about these people, but even that was barely anything. “I only saw them once, when I was little. A bunch of men with tattoos on their faces and arms. I can't remember the details, and honestly wouldn't be able to point them out in a line up. But, I remember their voice, his voice. One of them, he... uh, he used me to intimidate my mother. My mom was late paying them, they wanted their money.”
“Any tattoos that stuck out?”
“No. It was so long ago. I was like, three or–or four! I just—I know she pays them in cash and they loaned her money for the bills.” Homura untangled her hands in her hair, twisting the pulled strands out between her fingers. She breathed steadily, trying to bring the man's face to the forefront of her mind. Any images of him or what happened that night was replaced with murky memories and terrible thoughts. She remembered the huge hands that grasped her waist and held her away from her mother. Homura was screaming then. She was begging her mother to help her. She didn't realize until now how powerless she had in the situation, how powerless both of them were. The thought of those people had her brother, were making her brother feel as weak as she did, it made her sick.
“Okay, that’s fine," Eraserhead said. "We’ll work on it from there. In the meantime, you need to rest. You suffered from several seizures and blood loss. Spending all this energy upset isn’t doing your body any good.”
“What about Yuki?” Homura was less worried about her mother now that she remembered what that bitch did.
“Yuki will need an older sister to come back to, Ito.” Eraserhead replied. “We’re going to find him, you don’t have to worry for now.”
Homura looked back at the bed with the thin cotton blanket. He was leaving, and she was going to be alone in this unfamiliar space with the beeping noise and big computers. It made her unnerved to think about. “I don’t want those doctors back in here.”
To her surprise, Eraserhead nodded agreeingly. “Okay. I’ll keep them out. I can leave too, if you want. A nurse might pop in to check on you too. Only to make sure you’re still alive.”
She didn't think he'd agree and was surprisingly relieved by his promise. He probably couldn't keep it, what hero was able to tell doctors and nurses what to do? They didn't do that on her shows. “Okay." Homura replied dully, a bit more comforted that she'd have the room to herself to be able to sleep. She didn't think she could have that added stress of waking up to someone looming over.
“Okay. Can I show you something?” He asked and she nodded. Slowly, he reached towards the bedshelf. He grabbed a small remote and set it beside her on the end table. “When you wake up, press this button. It will call a nurse and I’ll come in with them.”
She nodded, taking the remote and moving it to the other side. Eraserhead gathered his belongings and stood. “Get some rest, Ito. If I have any updates on anything, I’ll let you know.” She nodded and he left, dimming the harsh white lights behind him.
Homura finally let out a heavy sigh and laid back down in the bed, staring at the ceiling above her. She was exhausted, in mind, body, and soul. She felt like she had the whole world on her mind, but she didn’t have the energy to give it thought. She laid on her side, curled tight. Yuki’s absence hit her all at once. She curled into the bed and suddenly felt his absence away from her. She rarely laid in a mattress without her brother cuddled safely into her arms. Her throat began to choke with anger and sorrow. Big heavy tears drifted down her face as she sobbed into her pillows.
Notes:
CW: mentions of previous sexual abuse/assault, mentions of human trafficking, being physically restrained, verbally abusive to staff (nurses)
yall its almost the end of the year 🥳 im gonna be a summer school instructor tho so theres that lol i need this break tho the children have me on my last leg fr
anyways!! we're back from the blow up! i'm working on making longer chapters for this story, the 3-5k chapters arent doing it for me fr, but it'll have to be a couple chapters until we get to the 10k~ chapters i want to be putting out. we'll see lol.
how are yall liking homura? ive began to love a character with higher emotional needs, esp since im pulling from experiences & things i work w/ with kids on, so her character is more real to me. ive got a few "homuras" in my class lol. it might be a bit until the next chapter, but fingers crossed they can start getting steadily longer & relating more to the overarching plot.
see yall later! ✌🏾
Regaluns_Imagination on Chapter 1 Sun 23 Jun 2024 07:22AM UTC
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iclarinha on Chapter 3 Tue 12 Mar 2024 06:16PM UTC
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RitaBS (Happyritas) on Chapter 3 Wed 13 Mar 2024 01:02AM UTC
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iclarinha on Chapter 3 Wed 13 Mar 2024 08:58PM UTC
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iclarinha on Chapter 4 Thu 25 Apr 2024 06:08AM UTC
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iclarinha on Chapter 5 Fri 17 May 2024 06:02AM UTC
Last Edited Fri 17 May 2024 06:02AM UTC
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