Catsushi

by MIke_Wheeler_genderbend

Summary:

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A bunch of oneshots of Atsushi acting like a cat because I love him.

[discontinued]

Notes:

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Atsushi try’s to catch a mouse.
Will he catch it? Read to find out!
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Chapter 1: The mouse incident

It was a normal day in the agency.

Kunikida was screaming at Dazai for being late, ranpo was eating candy well watching Dazai get yelled at, kanji was showing kyouka a drawing he made of a cow, yosano was nowhere to be seen, Naomi and tanizaki… I’d prefer not to say and Atsushi was doing Dazai’s work for him.

all of a sudden there was a noise that caught Atsushi’s attention. I was a mouse.

as soon as he heard it his head perked up. He looked around to see if anyone else heard it but nobody did. Then he saw it. Across the room there was a mouse.

atsushi stood up catching the attention of ranpo. He slowly started walking towards the mouse.

Kunikida stopped yelling at Dazai to question Atsushi. When he got no response Kunikida started yelling again, this time at Atsushi but his gaze never left the mouse. Soon Dazai caught on to what was happening and started to laugh.

Atsushi sunk down so he was crouched in front of the mouse. At this point kyouka and kanji started watching him to.

he waited just staring at the mouse not realizing that everyone was staring at him. After about thirty seconds he pounced and grabbed the mouse. Everyone except for ranpo and dazai was caught of guard and confused by Atsushi’s behaviour.

then before anything else could happen a giggling Dazai puts his hand on Atsushi’s shoulder neutralizing the tiger and pulling Atsushi back into reality. He drops the mouse when this happens.

”why am I on the floor?” He asked. Dazai then explained what happened causing Atsushi to go red with embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry!” Atsushi says standing up. kyouka then walked up to him and asked “why were you trying to catch a mouse like a cat?”

Atsushi gets reder.

Chapter 2: the laser pointer

Summary:

dazai tests a laser pointer out on atsushi and kunikida gets pissed of (like always)

Notes:

I haven't updated in so long I swear.

 

      dazai came into work 13 minutes late witch confused everybody because he usually shows up about un hour late. luckily kunikida wasn't there to scold dazai for showing up late because he got sent on a mission.

atsushi notest him come in and waved smiling. dazai walked up to atsushi grinning ear to ear. 

"hey atsushi! do you remember last week when you caught that mouse?" atsushis smile instantly dropped remembering the embarrassment when he realized what he was doing and how everyone made fun of him for it. "yes. why?" he answered thinking dazai was just bringing it up to make fun of him. "wellllll..." dazai says smile growing wider. "ive notist that you tend to act a lot like a cat recently and I think it has to do with you being a tiger."

 

yep. dazai was definitely making fun of him.

 

"and?" atsushi asked. "and i wanted to try something," dazai responded. dazai pulled a laser pointer out of his pocket. "do you know what this is?" he askes. atsushi shakes his head in response. "how about I show you?" and with that dazai turned the laser pointer on pointing it at atsushis desk. atsushis eyes land on the dot.

at first nothing happened.

he just stared at it.

then he quickly smacked the dot with his hand trying to catch it. the noise it made was loud. loud enough to startle dazai and catching the attention of other people in the office. dazai quickly pointed it at another spot on his desk causing atsushi to attack again. at this point everyone was watching the scene. dazai giggled and pointed it at the floor. atsushi followed it around as dazai kept pointing it in different places. at some point atsushi started crawling on all fours. ranpo decided to film what was happening. everyone (except atsushi) was laughing.

this went on for 30 minutes.

when dazai finally turned of the laser pointer atsushi got confused, not knowing where the dot went and spent another 15 minutes looking for it. evreyone found that more amusing then when he was acualy chasing it. people only stoped laghing when kunikida got back from his mishon and told (yelled at) atsushi to get of the floor stop ditracting evreyone from thir work and be more productive. once he found out it was dazais falt he spent 45 minouts yelling at dazai to stop distrupting atsushi from his work.

Notes:

yosano ended up paying ronpo $30 for the video of atsushi.

Chapter 3

Summary:

atsushi chases a mouse again but this time it takes a surprising turn

 

it was about a month since atsushi's last cat related incident. dazai was banned from interacting with atsushi unless its work related. this caused him un immense amount of boredom making him the first to notice when atsushi started acting weird.

at first it was barley noticeable. he just sat at his desk doing work, but every once and a wile he would sit up straight and look around the office for a couple seconds before going back to work. it was like he was looking for something. dazai decided t bring it up to ranpo.

"there's a mouse in here," ranpo says plainly. he's obviously not interested at all. "oh, so he's looking for it," dazai reply's and starts to smirk seeing this as un opportunity to make fun of atsushi.

 then as dazai was about to go to his desk  atsushi suddenly stood up staring at the floor. when he followed atsushi's gaze to see what he was looking at dazai was met with the sight of a mouse in the middle of the room. he looked back at atsushi to see if he was going to do anything. atsushis eyes were like that of a cats, and it was almost like he was frozen in place. he just stood there staring intensely at the mouse.

this obviously caught kunikida's attention. kunikida stood up and said, "what are you doing? get back to work." atsushi ignored kunikida, continuing to stare at the mouse. this caused him to yell, in turn scaring the mouse. the second the mouse moved he went after it, climbing over his desk and pouncing. he caught the mouse.

then something unexpected happened.

atsushi held the mouse by the tail. he opened his mouth and ate it. everyone stared in shock, not knowing what to do. a crunching sound could be herd as he bit down. after  a bit of  chewing he finally swallowed it. "even I couldn't see that coming," ranpo whispers to himself.

"why i'm i on the floor again?" atsushi asked confused. tanizaki then walked up to atsushi. "d you not remember what happened?' he asked. atsushi tilts his head in confusion. "why? what happened? and why do i taste blood?" "you ate a mouse." tanizaki shivered remembering the crunch sound. "i what?" atsushi asked in disbelief.

dazai bursted out laughing at the whole scene causing everyone's attention to drift to him. "looks like we got an exterminator for free," he joked. "good job at eliminating that mouse atsushi."

once atsushi realized he actually ate a mouse (thanks to dazais jokes), he immediately felt discussed with himself. the taste in his mouth wasn't helping.

in the end atsushi threw up the mouse and yosano bought a bunch of mouse traps so it wouldn't happen again.

Notes:

im going to try to post more, ive just been busy with school and reading other peoples fics

Chapter 4: cat toys

Summary:

dazai teases atsushi with a cat toy before getting yelled at by kunikida

 

dazai recently nosiest that atsushi gets easily distracted by cat like things. for example when they went shopping together for yosano's birthday and they got to the cat toy section. at first he acted normal well walking down the ale, but then a certain toy caught his eye and he started playing with it. it got so bad that dazai had to pick him up and drag him out of the store to get atsushi to realize what he was doing, and stop.

of course  dazai decided to buy a cat toy for atsushi after that.

a month later he was sitting at his desk, board out of his mind. if only he had something to do. as he was trying to think of ways to annoy his coworkers, specifically kunikida he remembered that he had the cat toy he bought at his desk.

dazai rolled his chair over to atsushi's. "hey atsushi!~" he says putting un arm around atsushi's shoulders. "yes dazai?" atsushi said taking dazais arm of his shoulders. his eyes never left his paper work as he talked.

"I got something for you!~"dazai exclaimed. this got atsushis attention. dazzai never got anyone anything. he looks up from his work and makes eye contact with dazai. "you did?" he asks skeptically.  dazai smirks. "I did." "what is it?" atsushi asks even more worried.

dazai then pulls out a small toy mouse. this leads atsushi to let out un exasperated sigh. "that's not funny," atsushi deadpans. he was vary obviously tired of all the cat jokes he's been getting recently.  "oh come on.~ don't be a buzzkill," dazai says as he slowly moves the mouse just above there heads. then he starts to sway it a little.

"i know what your trying to do and it wont work." atsushi crosses his arms. "now can I get back to work?" dazai starts moving it faster, getting inpatient. "just relax and have some fun,' dazai says. atsushi stares at the toy intensely. he bit his lip in order to stop himself from giving in.

this went on for about two minutes. dazai was starting to get board again, but right as he was about to stop swinging the toy and retract him arm, atsushi slowly lifted his hand up and batted at it. dazais eyes widened in surprise for a second before he smirked and swayed it more.

atsushi hit it again.

this went on for a couple minutes. it was jus a couple minutes of atsushi batting at the toy and dazai swinging it back and forth trying not to laugh. the most amusing part of this is that atsushi didn't even seem to realize that he gave dazai what he wanted. it was hilarious watching atsushi batt at the toy like a cat.

it wasn't until dazai finally couldn't hold it anymore and started to laugh did kunikida notice what was going on. kunikida started telling at then, telling them to get back to work. once he got involved atsushi immediately broke out of whatever state he was in. when he looked around he could see that everyone was staring at him. (everyone except kunikida)

atsushi sunk down into his chair in embarrassment. at some point people started to go back to work as kunikida continued to yell at dazai.

atsushi was just glad that he wasn't in trouble.

Notes:

ronpo took a video of atsushi batting at the toy and then charged people for it.

atsushi never found out.

Notes:

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This is my first fic so it’s not the best.

I’m trying to get better at writing so if you have any corrections or suggestions please tell me.