Work Text:
The banquet is a truly impressive spectacle; Sprawling aquariums full of all different types of marine life, silk tablecloths over round tables decorated with vases of sweet-smelling flowers and salt and pepper shakers, brilliant lights casting shadows over a checkerboard dining floor. It really is a sight to behold, and I'm certain that through a human eye, it looks absolutely spectacular.
I, on the other hand, am visibly shaking in fear.
I'm trying my best to walk mostly upright, hand-in-hand with my wife Scarlet, each of us keeping an eye on our two children as they walk awkwardly in their little formal clothes. I already hate aquariums for being places of horrid torture and suffering, but now we are dressed up for a five-star seafood restaurant for Scarlet's journalism job. I hate being out where people would suspect something was wrong with me. All I want is to do my house chores, watch my children, and then sit in my comfortable armchair while watching TV dramas, but I know this banquet means a lot to my dear wife, and I'm not about to make her go alone with our children when people would eventually grow suspicious at my continued absences at formal business events.
I can feel myself wobbling more than usual, but Scarlet is here for me, and I pray to myself that it will be enough to get me through this.
I remember shortly after our last aquarium trip, my family found out my big secret; I am an octopus. Scarlet had been upset with me for keeping it from her for so long, saying that she didn't want any secrets between us, but how could I tell her? I was certain she would be disgusted with me. What human wants to be married to an octopus?
But she found out that day, and it did not wildly change her opinion of me. I could scarcely believe it. It mulled through my mind the rest of the day.
Everything is sore as I sit on the bed. I feel tight and stressed, my arms cramped from holding the same position for so long, but I can't let go of it. I don't want Scarlet to see me like that.
"Honey." Scarlet sits beside me on the bed, "I think we should talk."
The conversation I had dreaded having for so long is upon me. I shrink away from her gaze, saying nothing, still keeping up the charade out of sheer terror.
Scarlet holds my hand, but I don't look up at her.
"You're an octopus."
The simple declaration makes me flinch. I know it may be a pathetic act of denial, but I...try not to think about it. I know I'm out of place here. I know I don't belong. I don't need any painful reminders of what I cannot be.
Finally, I manage a quiet, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
Scarlet sighs, leaning into me, "I understand why you didn't. If you had just told me that outright, I wouldn't have believed you."
I know what she means, but the statement still hurts regardless.
"I wish you had told me sooner, though." Scarlet holds my arm in one hand, tracing my suction cups with one finger, "We're in this together, aren't we? I may not have known you were an octopus, but I know you."
I look at her as she lifts her head. I can't look at her for long though, because her sad expression breaks my hearts. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to tell myself that everything is okay, that my family still loves me and even agreed to keep my secret. I still don't feel much better though.
"So...you told me there was no family of yours at our wedding because you were estranged from your family." Scarlet gave my arm a squeeze, "What's the truth?"
"Well..." I gaze up at the ceiling, one hand on the back of my head, "That is the truth. Octopus parents abandon their nests long before the eggs hatch. I never met my parents. Like many sea creatures, we simply must fend for ourselves from the moment we are born."
Scarlet is quiet. I don't bother to look at her because I know how she must feel about that, though the silence in itself is still torturous.
After a moment, her hand ghosts over my back, "Are you in pain?"
I slouch, my cramped arms shaking, "Yes."
"I can only imagine. The fact that you can hold yourself upright at all is amazing." Scarlet helped me to my feet, and they wobble underneath me as usual, "Do you need a break?"
I stumble out of her hold, "Yes, I do. I think I will be in the bath."
I can practically feel the gears in her head turning, finally knowing why I spend so much time in the bath, but I don't stay long enough to answer any dreaded questions that may arise from that line of inquiry. I lock the door behind me before I allow myself to relax out of my suit, and I start the water with my arms sprawled across the floor and the tub. I can't let Scarlet see me like this. Even though she tells me she doesn't mind that she married an octopus, I still fear that she would rather have a human like her, and I just cannot be that for her.
I recall that incident as I sit down in the dining chair beside Scarlet. I know she can feel how anxious I am, and she gives my arm a squeeze.
"Missus Davis! So glad you and your family could make it out tonight!" a man I don't recognize walks up to my wife and shakes her hand vigorously, "Care to introduce me to them?"
"Sure thing! This is my husband, Jared!" Scarlet gestures to me.
I force a smile. I know that look, the look everyone always gives me upon seeing me for the first time; First they look shocked, then confused, then they open their mouth as if to say something before deciding against it and quickly shutting it again. I hate it. I know why people look at me like that. I know it's because I don't belong here, that I am obviously not human. I just try to act as though nothing is wrong as I hold my hand out for a handshake, trying to keep it mostly stiff so nobody's attention is drawn to the fact that it isn't quite as sturdy as it should be.
After what feels to me like a hundred years, the intense stare finally relaxes, and the man shakes my whole arm with great enthusiasm, "I've heard good things about you, Mister Davis! It's so nice to finally meet you!"
I straighten my tie as soon as I have both hands back, "Likewise. I have heard your company does great work."
"In no small part thanks to your wife!" he replied cheerily, "You can call me Craig! I'm in the same division as Scarlet here, and her articles are just incredible!"
"I know. She is very skilled, but you know that of course."
Scarlet holds my arm again as she introduces our kids, "These are our kids, Tommy and Stacy!"
I relax as Craig moves on to the other guests. Scarlet rubs her thumb into the back of my hand as Stacy makes big doll eyes at me. I know they can tell I'm frightened.
"Honey." Scarlet says softly to me, "It's alright. You know they won't press if they're polite."
But there are people who are not. Whenever someone points at me in public and yells out, "That's an octopus!" I feel my hearts spike in unison, and it's all I can do to force my limbs to remain where they are and not immediately prove them right.
Luckily, everyone else is always quick to point out that they sound crazy, but I know they aren't. It's Occam's Razor protecting me most of the time, if I had to guess; It's more believable that a human is just really weird than it is to believe that an octopus climbed up on land, pretended to be a human, married a human, and then had human children with her. Nobody wants to be the one to point out the emperor isn't wearing clothes, so even if I screw something up very badly, I can usually recover without a hitch.
I know it isn't something that will last, though. After all, any marine biologist or sushi chef can tell what I really am with so little as a glance, and once most people see it, the jig is up.
Well, at least there's plenty of fish to go around. Sushi restaurants are not always all doom and gloom. After all, octopi eat other sea creatures all the time, so most of the menu is right up my alley.
"We'll be having the assorted sushi board and the shrimp special." Scarlet says to the waiter, and I can't suppress a smile knowing she never forgets my favorite foods.
"Do they have chicken tenders?" Stacy asked softly.
"Oh my gosh, Stacy! Of course they don't!" Tommy spits back, "It's a sushi restaurant!"
Stacy's shoes hit the chair legs, "That doesn't mean they only have fish!"
"Alright, kids, that's enough." Scarlet scolded them, "They do have cooked dishes, Stacy. Here, see?"
"And I'll take this seaweed and rice board." Tommy closed his menu, "You don't have soda, do you?"
Alright, so far so good. I am holding myself together well and Scarlet's coworkers are treating me with respect. I adjust my tie again, making sure everything is in place. The arms I hold together to support my body feel cramped and tight, but I can keep it together at least long enough to get through this so I can go home and sit in the bath until my gills stop aching from dehydration.
This is when the waiter said, "Might I suggest the chef's special; Grilled octopus? It's served in light gravy with a side of clams and tartar sauce.
I feel my whole body seize up, and I see Scarlet suppress a grimace.
"Um...we'll skip that one for today."
The waiter smiled patiently, "I don't blame you. The octopus is an intimidating meal for the average palate. You should try it at some point, however! You may be surprised!"
"I'll keep that in mind." Scarlet says warily.
I still feel sick as the waiter leaves our table. My limbs want desperately to unravel, to run from whatever is causing me fear, but I can't get up now, especially with how I run.
I actually look up at all the tanks around us, the ones that are full of living fish; There are octopi in those tanks. To the average human, I'm certain they simply look as though they are swimming passively, but I can see in the way they gesture. Their language is as natural to me as breathing; They are anxious like me, wondering when they will be the next ones on those plates.
I consider what would happen if I saw a platter with a dead octopus on it, burned with grill marks across their body, and I can't just sit there any longer.
"My dear, I'm afraid I must step out for a moment." I said in a voice that sounded far too panicked to my own ears, and then I was stumbling out of the chair to walk as quickly and inconspicuously as I could towards one of the exits.
"Huh? Honey, wait-!"
In my distress, I'm afraid I will so easily stumble over my own feet. I cannot run, the faster I walk the more obvious it is that something is wrong with me, so I simply try to keep up a steady pace while still moving as fast as I can away from those tanks.
I step into the men's room to splash cold water into my gills. It burns. It is far too clean, dusted with hot chlorine, and it has no salt in it, but it will have to do. I can't very well leave the banquet to jump into the ocean in the middle of an important business meeting for my wife! What kind of husband and father would I be if I did that!?
That is ultimately why I continue to choose to stay, day after day. Had I no connections, I'm certain it would be much easier to return to the ocean where I came from, but my family always makes me stop before the thought can truly take root in me. Besides, it's nice to just relax and not have to worry about a shark or sperm whale ripping into me at an inopportune moment and barely escaping with my life while nursing grave injuries by myself until it stops bothering me. Octopi are incredibly solitary creatures, at least my species is, so I was often alone when I wasn't being attacked by a predator.
But this? This constant secrecy, these pretentious social gatherings, the stress of being unsteady and wobbly until everything hurts from the constant tension? No, had it not been for my family, I wouldn't want anything to do with this drivel!
And yet, even beyond that...
I step out of the men's room and into the hallway that led out of the building. It's quiet here. It's a lovely little liminal space for a moment of respite. I lean on the wall, sighing as I imagine a different life.
I am in this same hallway when another octopus beckons me down it. There is a restaurant on the other end of it. I walk down the hallway until I feel the world lighten as I plunge into the ocean water, delightfully cold against my clammy, dehydrated skin.
The banquet includes lots of shrimp, salmon, and halibut arranged in a decorative manner on fancy platters. Another octopus hands me a glass of wine, which is capped until you drink through a special straw. How novel! The wine cannot simply escape into the water! Scarlet is there too, but I can't imagine her as an octopus because she is perfect the way she is, so she looks exactly like herself in my mind's eye, but she can breathe underwater and swim perfectly. There are other humans there too, they also partake in the banquet, and everyone knows what the others are and nobody complains or thinks anything is out of place. It is a world of acceptance, my boneless arms holding my wife in a dance, her laugh so clear through the water it makes my hearts melt for her.
"Honey?"
Yes, that's what she would say.
"Dear?"
Scarlet's voice is a balm for my soul, but does she sound closer than I remember...?
"Jared!"
My eyes snap open. I had been twirling by myself in the hallway, and Scarlet is glaring at me and tapping her foot. I feel my face flush hot in embarrassment.
"What are you doing?"
I pretend I didn't hear her, "Does it not disturb you even a little that they're cooking octopi in there?"
"You're obviously not an ordinary octopus."
My eyes narrow at her, "You'd be surprised at how intelligent we all are."
Scarlet waves her arms in frustration, "Those octopi aren't you."
"Would you not be alarmed to find them cooking humans in the kitchen!?"
Scarlet's eyes widen, and all at once, I regret raising my voice. I bring my arms down, the rest tightening to ensure nothing falls out of place. I hug myself, rubbing my shoulders, unable to meet Scarlet's eye.
I hear her sigh, and then her red heels clack on the polished marble floor as she walks towards me, reaching out to stroke the ends of my tentacle mustache.
Her voice is tender and soft as she asks, "Do you want to just go home?"
My gaze snaps up to her in surprise. Her gaze is gentle, full of concern and kindness.
"If you're having a really bad time, we can just leave." Scarlet shrugged, her lips drawn, "We could say you started feeling sick, or that there was a family emergency. If you feel terrible, we don't have to stay."
I feel my gelatinous insides swell with warmth. I shudder in relief as she pulls me into a hug. I love this woman so much. I would go to the ends of the earth to retrieve one leaf that she wanted, even with my feet as unsteady as they are.
When I pull back, I feel much more relaxed than before, "I will stay. I know this banquet is important to you, and I know I will be safe so long as I have my family to take care of me."
Scarlet smiles as she stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek, "You will be. I promise."
I return to my seat as our food gets to us. It took a long time for me to regain my composure, and so the food is a welcome change of pace. It's excellent, maybe the best food I've ever eaten, and it helps to distract me from the continued distress of the octopi in those tanks that I cannot help.
I can tell the kids are picking up on it too. The octopi that are continuously being delivered to tables is making them stare at me, fidgeting in their seats anxiously. It's adding to my own distress, but I try my best to pay it no mind. I'm not looking at those platters. I'm certain if I did, it would make my blood curdle.
That's when a familiar figure strides up to our table; Someone I had previously seen on TV.
It's the world-renowned marine biologist Claud Augustine.
I lock eyes with him, and he gasps.
"What's an octopus doing out here!?"
The exclamation draws the attention of other guests. I can feel their suspicion even though I can't tear my gaze away from Augustine. I feel terribly ill all of a sudden. Now I wish I hadn't eaten so many shrimp in a vain attempt to distract myself.
"How dare you." Scarlet hisses lowly, "That's my husband! Is this how you normally speak to people with deformities?"
"Do you think I'm an idiot!?" he exclaims far too loud, "Does that look like a human with deformities to you!? No offense ma'am, but you need to get your eyes checked. I've been studying marine life for twenty years, I know a red pacific octopus when I see one! They look almost just like the fellows in those tanks!"
People are talking now. They're asking questions, pointing, comparing me to the creatures in the tanks, and I can feel the heat of the overhead lamps making me wobble. I'm shaking with the stress necessary to hold myself together.
"What on earth are you wearing!? You look ridiculous!" The man grabs at me, and I jump out of my chair to fall to the floor.
I'm not thinking. I run.
It's so hard. There are even more unbearable voices as I stumble away, no doubt pointing out how unnatural my run is, but I'm not listening. I try to keep myself together, but I can feel my limbs shifting out of place. I'm wobbling so badly I can barely stay on my feet, but I need to at least keep up the charade long enough to escape. I cannot give myself away like this.
"Honey, wait!" I hear Scarlet yell, but I don't stop. I squeeze myself together, but it's quickly becoming too much.
I step into the men's room and lock the stall behind me. Dread seeps into my very soul as I unbutton my suit jacket to look at the white shirt underneath. It's covered in black ink.
I start to cry, loud blubbers filling the restroom. I'm such an idiot. I cannot believe I allowed myself to get caught like this. It feels like I'm caving in, and I collapse back against the toilet as my arms finally shift out of place and I'm a literal boneless heap, spilling over the edge of the toilet seat like a neglected ragdoll, only held together by my stiff suit.
"Dad?" I hear Tommy's voice as he scampers in, "Mom told me to come get you. She can't come in here to make sure you're okay."
I can't stand the thought of my son seeing me like this, but I concede to myself that I need help. I reach a shaking arm out to unlock the door of my stall, and Tommy touches my hand as he follows me inside.
"Oh no." he flinches at the sight of me, "Are you hurt? Are you okay?"
Ah, right. I'm spilling out everywhere because I lost my form. I try to sit up, but it's a laborious task, my arms trembling too badly to allow me to stay that way.
I unbutton my shirt until it's fully open, and Tommy yells as my body collapses into its true form, my arms relaxing so they are no longer wobbling, loose inside my clothing.
"Oh. That looks a lot less painful." Tommy says in shock.
I huff, "You have seen me like this before, son."
"Yeah, but...not like this." Tommy lifts one of my arms, "You're not hurt, are you?"
I don't know how to answer that. My hurt is far more internal at the moment, but I also hurt just from maintaining my human form for so long. I swear it is not usually this difficult, but I confess it becomes more difficult when I am afraid and my smaller eight brains try to take over.
He slides one hand under the arm he's holding, "Whoa. This is so fucking rad."
"Tommy, language." I scold him, "I'm still your father, you know."
"And you have yet to explain how that's possible." Tommy says pointedly. His touch continues up until he gets to my shirt, which is still wet with ink, "Oh. You got scared. That's why this is here."
"Yes. That's right."
Tommy's face floods with concern, and he lifts my arm until he can see my mouth in between all eight of my arms, "You need to get yourself together if you're gonna get outta here."
I grimace, two of my arms curling up around my face, "Don't remind me, son."
"Wh-what should I tell everyone?"
"I don't know." I feel like crying again. Gravity is suddenly far too much, "I'm scared everyone knows now. What are they saying?"
"Well, mom talked to the doctor guy and he finally dropped the subject. She said something like about how you can walk on land or wear a suit if you're not human, and that seemed to make sense to the other people."
That relieves me. I shudder gratefully, and Tommy lifts another of my arms, inspecting it carefully.
"Hey Dad..." he says slowly, "...m-maybe you should think about just dropping the act and telling everyone you're a-!"
"No!" I grab him, wobbling, "Please. You can't tell anyone."
"But if we understand, then they will too!"
"It's more complicated than that, Tommy." I feel my whole body shaking like jelly, and I wish for all the world that I could shed real tears, "You and Stacy understand because children are more credulous than adults, less stuck in your ways, and your mother understands because she has history with me and knows me well. If I were to just reveal to the entire world that I was an octopus, do you know the pandemonium that would transpire?"
"Dude, you're using words like 'pandemonium' and 'transpire'. You're obviously as intelligent as any human."
"But they will not understand." I insist to him, "Please. I'm so afraid. I have so much to lose. Revealing the truth would be irreversible. Don't give away my secret now."
I can see him rolling his eyes. I know he's just a child, so he has a child's understanding of how the world works. He wants us all to know the truth and be happy together knowing the truth, but as much as I wish with all my three hearts that it could be so, it simply is not possible.
It hurts to tell myself, but it is the sad truth.
"Fine. I won't tell anyone." Tommy gripped my arm and shook it in solidarity, "But I don't think you're doing yourself any favors by keeping it such a secret. It's clearly just stressing you out."
"I know, but I can no more delete that issue than you can delete your dreaded math tests." I tease.
"Oh, if only." he dropped my arm and stared at all the others on the bathroom floor, "Uhh...do you need help?"
I reach out to him with two wobbly arms, "Will you hold me? I believe I will be able to regain my form if I have some support."
"Won't you be heavy?"
"Try. You may be surprised."
I know I'm not heavy because I don't have a skeleton (plus the added annoyance of nearly being blown away in every wind storm), however that doesn't mean I'm light. For that reason, I push off the ground with two of my arms while he lifts me up.
"Wow. Okay, hurry it up, I'm not Sports Johnson yet."
I press down with my four usual tentacles I use for legs, then I curl two of them inward to support my body.
"Okay, sport. Put me down, gently."
He sets me down on my body, and thankfully for the moment, I am structurally sound. I button up my soiled shirt over me, and then pause, wondering what to do with it.
"Dad, how the hell do you button up shirts without fingers?"
"Tommy, language." I say again, "And the answer is very carefully. Do you think you could tell your mother that I've soiled my shirt?"
Tommy cackled mischievously, "You make it sound like you peed yourself."
I feel one of my brow ridges raise, "I would rather people believe that than learn my true secret."
"Nah, I won't tell them that. I'll just say you spilled a ton of soy sauce on yourself. You did knock that thing over when you hit the table."
Aha, a perfect excuse! "Thank you, Tommy. I will be here, attempting to catch my breath."
He leaves, and I wait. I often claim a pen exploded in my breast pocket to explain to the dry cleaners why my suits keep getting ruined with ink, but that excuse would only exacerbate my current problem. I can only imagine that a marine biologist would jump at the chance to expose my secret if that was the reason I gave. It's far too convenient.
I feel my breath catch when I realize I'm suffocating. With how much I was panicking and then awkwardly running, my hearts just can't pump enough blood through my body. I feel like the world is going dark as I dip my head forward and take deep breaths through my dry gills. It hurts. It hurts and it stings and it's so painful, but I keep breathing. I need oxygen, even if it burns, even if getting oxygen from the air is inefficient for me, I still need it. I just have to breathe harder than I am comfortable breathing.
"Daddy?" Stacy's voice, "I'm coming in with Mom's bag! She has a spare shirt for you!"
Thank goodness. Bless that woman. I sit up as Stacy enters my stall with Tommy in tow.
"Whoa. Are you okay?" Stacy cups a hand around her ear, "What's that shuddering sound?"
"Stacy, be a doll and get me a glass of water?" I say through my parched throat.
"You got it, Dad!" Stacy swiftly runs out and returns with a glass, which she fills with water at the sink.
"Thank you." I press the edge of the glass so it's sealed around my gills on one side, then tilt my head the other way so the water presses into my gills, "Ohh god..."
It still burns because it's sterile fresh water, but it feels many many times better than the dry air. Scarlet used to make fun of me for needing multiple humidifiers running in our bedroom to allow me to sleep, but she understands now and even refills them when I forget to. My family truly is a godsend.
"Whoa." Stacy says, watching air bubbles sneak under the rim of the glass as I breathe in the water.
I smirk as I switch gills, inhaling the rest of the water through the other side.
"Don't let anyone see you do that." Tommy remarks wryly.
I unbutton my shirt again to remove it and my suit jacket, then I replace it with the new shirt. I feel much better once it's all on, allowing Stacy to hide the ink-covered shirt in Scarlet's bag.
"How many people are out there?" I ask.
"Just one, and it's Mom." Stacy replied, "They all gave the weird guy an earful about trying to attack and scare a guest."
"Good." I stand up, finally feeling well enough to support my own weight, "What do you say we go see her?"
She's pacing as I emerge from the men's room, and her gaze immediately locks onto me as she hurries to my side.
"Are you okay?" she pats my chest, "Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine." I assure her, "Is the biologist gone?"
"He's back in the kitchen, if that's what you mean." Scarlet made a face, "Incredible how low some people will go as soon as they're convinced you aren't human."
I know what she means, and she's right...in more ways than one.
I feel the cold dread settle between my brains as I look at myself in the mirror. I had been thinking about it since it happened; When Scarlet told me she wanted kids one day.
Octopi are very solitary creatures unless they're mating, but if I'm honest, the activity just never appealed to me. I would likely die during mating after losing my hectocotylus inside a female octopus, and even if I didn't, I would never be able to watch my children grow up. I was amazed when I learned that humans actually care for their offspring, teaching them, helping them learn and grow until they're all grown up, not like octopi who abandon their young before they're even born.
I admire humans so much for their comradery. So much is possible because humans care about each other and take care of one another. I know in my hearts I want children like humans do, but I am not human. It hurts me deep inside knowing that mating is not possible for me, and even if it was, I wouldn't enjoy it. Or survive.
I left the bathroom, preparing some speech about how I wouldn't be able to satisfy her, that I was not comfortable having sex with her or even being naked in front of her. Would she break up with me? Would she feel rejected and alone?
All of that changed the next time I saw her that evening.
"Okay, so..." she took my hands, "I'll just say this straight-out; I know this relationship is getting serious, so I want you to know that I am asexual."
I blinked, my thought process grinding to a screeching halt.
A-sexual? As in..."A" meaning without!?
"I know maybe that's disappointing to you, I've lost previous partners over it, but I don't feel any sexual attraction and I am not interested in sex. I don't want to have it ever."
I feel the bright smile on my face as I reply, "Me too!"
Now she's the one who looks surprised! "You're asexual too!?"
"Yes! I always wondered why I was so different, why it simply did not interest me..." my giddiness makes me laugh out loud, "There's a word for it!"
She squeals as she pulls me into a big hug, "Thank god! I'm so relieved! Where have you been all my life, my love!?"
That was the moment I knew I had to put a ring on her.
Fast forward over ten years, and Scarlet is sitting across from me at the breakfast table. I eat my raw shrimp whole like a madman, not caring that it will make me look weird in front of her. She had only known my secret for less than a week at this point, but I have no patience for games and I can tell she is cross with me.
"So. Tell me the truth, Octodad."
Ouch. It feels like an insult coming from her.
She chews and swallows another spoonful of cereal with milk before talking again, "Are you really asexual, or was that just an excuse to not mate with me and have me uncover your secret?"
She's really still upset about that!? I chew my shrimp more aggressively, not wanting to give her an answer immediately since she is so adamant on being petty with me.
Finally, I reply, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice, "This may shock you, darling love of my life, but I was telling the truth then. Why do you think I was so lonely before I met you? No octopus of my species wants to share company with a cretin that has no interest in mating!"
Scarlet raises an eyebrow, and I feel even more annoyed.
"What? What do you want from me, Scarlet?" I feel my voice waver with barely held-back sobs, "You're the one who brought me to the aquarium under false pretenses and then got upset with me that I was afraid. You scared me. You did that to me. Why do you get to be so upset that I had a big secret when I knew you would never accept my PTSD as an answer?"
Scarlet suddenly stands from the table, "You should have told me what you were sooner!"
I stand too, hitting the table, "Would you have accepted me if I had!?"
She growls low under her breath, "Why do you think I wouldn't!?"
"Because nobody did!" I cry out in frustration, "Every time I mingled with humans before I met you, I had animal control called on me!"
"But you talked to me! You acted human!"
"I talked to them too!"
Yes, this was before I discovered the magic of human clothing as a disguise. Before that, I just walked on land with my limbs like an octopus. It did not matter to the humans that I was eloquent, educated, and well-spoken; I was just an animal to them.
Scarlet finally sits down again, so I do too.
"You underestimate the cruelty of your species." I say plainly.
"You're no angel either." she spits back angrily.
"I never said I was."
She doesn't reply to that. I can feel the intensity of her glare on me. It's unbearable to receive that look from my monogamous life partner, but I don't look away. I refuse to let her win.
She bares her teeth in a snarl, "I just can't help but wonder what else you've lied to me about."
"God, Scarlet, this again?" I give a tired sigh, "Just because I maintained a secret does not mean our entire life together was a lie! I am still the same Jared Davis you fell in love with all those years ago! I did not lie beyond maintaining my one secret! What will it take to make you believe me!?"
"You didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth!"
"Scarlet-!"
"You should have told me sooner! We've been married for almost eleven goddamn years and it's only now I find out you're a fucking..."
She didn't say the word. She cut herself off before finishing her sentence as though afraid of insulting me. I'm even more hurt now.
I glare at her, "Do I really disgust you so much you cannot even speak of what I am?"
"Fine. An octopus." Scarlet crossed her arms, "There. Happy?"
"You would have forsaken me."
"Alright, then later! After we've been dating for a year or something! Why not tell me then?"
"Forgive me for thinking low of you, my dear wife, but do you think human cruelty has an expiration date?" I can barely maintain my ire for how heartbroken I am, "It would not matter to me what I am, but humans are particular. They know their kind. I may have disguised myself to protect myself from harm, but our love is real. Without that secret, you're just committing beas-!"
"Don't say that!" Scarlet hit the table hard enough to make the floor buzz, "You don't know what I believe! You should have shown me your real self instead of making me feel like I didn't know you at all!"
"Scarlet, what you're doing is illegal!" I try desperately to argue with her, "To them, I am simply an animal! With my disguise on, I can at least pretend I am something more! I don't want a constant reminder of what I cannot be! I don't want to feel like an octopus! I want to be human!"
This is when I finally break down. I feel myself collapse against the table, sobbing into my arms. I know this is wrong, I know I shouldn't be tricking myself, but I hate myself for how inhuman I am. I want to keep lying to myself until the day I die. I want to pretend even to myself that I am simply an odd human, not an animal in human clothes.
Scarlet sighs as she reaches across the table to hold my arm while I break down. Her touch is always so dry on my skin, just like most other humans, and I hate how much I notice it every time.
Scarlet's thumb began to move in slow circles, but she didn't attempt to speak while I cried.
Finally, in a choked voice, I tell her, "I love you."
She scoots her chair out to kneel on the floor beside me, leaning into my side.
I look up at her, still trembling badly, "Please believe that, at least."
Scarlet offers a sad smile, "I do believe that. I love you too."
I understand why she is so frustrated, I truly do, and if I had even the slightest inkling that she would have been accepting of me, I would have told her, but I had so much to lose and absolutely nothing to gain by telling anyone the truth about me. I don't know how to make her understand that.
She dropped the issue after that, but I can always feel it hanging over me like a rain cloud.
The rest of the event is a sprawling walk through the various expensive aquariums they are maintaining for their feasts. The sheer number of them and the tall walls between them shut tight with doors make me paranoid that the building could simply flood, even though I was assured multiple times that they spared no expense on the glass.
One of the aquariums has a shark (because of course it does) lazily swimming back and forth across its enclosure, and it makes me stumble backwards into Scarlet, who grabs me before I can fall.
"Ah, Mister Davis? Are you alright?" Craig holds his hands out in case I fall, "You look like you've just seen a ghost!"
"Umm..." I can't take my eyes off the shark, knowing exactly how it feels to be trapped between all its rows of sharp teeth, "I was...injured in a shark attack." It isn't a lie, and it would explain my fear.
"Oh, don't worry, my friend! This glass is bulletproof!" Craig knocked on it softly, and the shark didn't even react, "She wouldn't be interested in you anyway. She's got much more of a taste for fish."
Yeah. I know. I swallow, hoping it isn't too loud.
Scarlet whispers to me, "Were you really injured in a shark attack?"
I grab my tie tightly, "I think we should discuss this at a later date."
Her face falls into a pointed glare. Shit. Does that count as a secret? Have I just made my wife upset with me again?
"Whoa! Dad, come look at this!" Stacy presses her face against the glass, "I think you'll like it!"
I highly doubt that, but she sounds so excited I don't have the heart to tell her no. I hurry to the tank and stare in wonder at the hundreds of shrimp that are flocking between the kelp and seaweed growing from the seabed. It honestly looks like paradise to me. I don't think I've ever seen this many shrimp in one place before.
Stacy looks up at me with stars in her eyes, and I smile back at her.
"It's beautiful." I say.
"Right!? And delicious!" she bounces on her heels, "All those shrimp growing up big an' strong to one day be eaten by dads!"
"And growing little girls." I pat her head, "Look at them go."
"The shrimp go so fast! Like meee!"
"Stacy! Don't run-!"
She's already running, so I chase her down, laughing as she flaps her arms as though pretending to fly. I reach her quickly with my superior dad legs, tackling her as she lets out a scream.
"Quick little shrimps get eaten by dads!" I rub the back of my hand into her hair, careful that my suckers don't touch her.
"Ahh! Daddy, don't mess up my pigtails!"
"Uhh, Mister Davis?"
I look up, then let go of my daughter so I can stand up, dusting myself off, "My apologies, dear friends. I seem to have lost my composure for a moment. I will see to it that my daughter and I behave from now on."
I see Scarlet snort as she holds back a laugh. Yes, my overly formal way of talking has an origin, and she has always found it charming.
"It's okay, man. You're just being a dad." one of Scarlet's coworkers says to me, I think his name is Kevin, "Just be careful not to slip or run into anything."
The polished marble floor is a little bit slippery. I try not to accidentally activate my suction cups in an attempt to stop me from slipping, but I am not in complete control of my limbs. Every one of them quite literally has a mind of its own, which is extraordinarily frustrating when I am trying to tell them that we need to be acting human.
Still, I have survived this long. I just need to get to the end of this event and then I can go home and pour an obscene amount of salt into my bathwater and forget what it's like to burn myself on fresh chlorinated water from the tap. Just a little longer and I can go home.
Just a little longer...
"You. Scarlet Davis."
I turn towards the voice; It's Augustine again.
"What? Yes, what do you want?" she replies curtly.
"Just between you and me..." his gaze flicks to me and I feel ice in my veins, "Are you aware that your husband is a...?"
"How about you leave me and my family alone? Did that ever occur to you?"
"Ma'am, I am simply asking as a matter of public safety; Cephalopods carry bacteria that can be harmful to humans, and they don't have the structure nor the circulation nor the airways to support themselves on land, which means you could be guilty of animal cruelty."
"Please just fucking leave me alone, you stupid piece of shit." Scarlet waves to dismiss him, "He's already had enough of a night after you terrorized him. Don't you have something to do besides harass me and my family?"
I step closer as he replies, "This isn't a joke, Missus Davis. You can't just harbor a sea creature on land. Do you think I'm blind? Did you think nobody else would notice? If you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes, it's not going to work on me. I know marine biology better than-!"
My arm lands on his, "Sir, please."
I'm shaking as he stares at me. I feel that stare deep in my soul. I have an instinct to look away. I'm so terrified that my legs are wobbly, my hearts beating out of sync, but I don't look away.
"Please." I say again, my voice shaking in desperation, "I'm here for my family. I'm here because I love them. I wasn't kidnapped, I'm not here against my will; I'm here because I love my wife and I want to support her at her work event. I love my family with my entire heart, mind, body, and spirit. I love them more than life itself. I need you to believe that. Please don't take them away from me."
Scarlet eases my hand off the man, and I pull both arms in as they start feeling heavy. Her arms are on me, supporting me. She's holding my arms while I breathe harder, struggling to regain the lost oxygen of my three hearts beating too quickly.
After a moment, Augustine says, "H-how is this possible...? No animal can mimic human speech!"
"Are you fucking sick in the head as well as stupid?" Scarlet took a swing at him to force him to stagger back, "He gave you his answer! Now get out of my sight before I call the cops!"
That finally made him leave, still mumbling to himself. I get the distinct impression that he didn't process a word I said. I fear he may expose my secret. What would I do then? Is it over?
Before I can run after him though, Scarlet grabs my arm, "Honey, just drop it."
"But what if he tells anyone?" I say in a panicked whisper.
"He won't tell anyone." she says startlingly calm, "He has no proof. He'll just sound crazy to them. You don't have to worry."
"My love, you don't understand." I lean on her when I tremble, "I will lose everything. Everything I tried so hard to keep will be gone and nobody will believe me ever again."
"I believe in you."
The quiet declaration makes my head fall against her shoulder. I've never wanted to be human more than I do right now.
"I hate myself." I admitted quietly, "I hate myself for what I cannot be."
"Jared..."
I squeeze my eyes shut. It's all I can do to maintain my form, to not collapse to the floor like gravity clearly wants me to.
Scarlet must sense my lack of balance, because she grips me tightly around my middle, and it makes holding myself together so much easier.
"You are everything I need you to be." she says whilst holding me up, "You don't need to be anything other than what you are. You always focus so much on what you can't be instead of recognizing everything that you are. You're reliable and hard-working, you care so much for your family, you're selfless and kind and you always try so hard to do things right even though it's hard for you."
I feel myself melting at her words, "Does this mean you forgive me for not telling you my secret?"
"Yes, I forgive you. In hindsight, it was petty of me to keep starting arguments over it, and I really do understand why you didn't tell me."
I laugh softly. I'm so relieved that that particular issue is finally behind us.
"Mister and Missus Davis? Are you falling behind?"
I mime wiping tears from my eyes, even though they're actually always painfully dry, "Yes, hello, Craig. I apologize sincerely for inconveniencing you."
"No, it's okay. I was just concerned is all." Craig waves us back towards the rest of the group, "We're talking about the current job though, so at the very least, it would be nice to have Missus Davis there for that."
"Craig, I told you you can call me Scarlet." Scarlet gave my chest another pat, "Will you be alright?"
"Yes, I believe so." I tell her, "Let us rejoin the others."
Tommy and Stacy are looking at another fish tank. This one is full of salmon, though the way they're acting feels a bit off to me.
I break away from Scarlet to join them at the tank, and Tommy points upwards, "Dad, what's that?"
I look up, "That's the top of the tank, I believe." I can see the lights through the surface, swirling as the fish swim back and forth.
"No, not the waves, I'm talking about that!"
I look closer. I still don't see what he's talking about.
"Here, Dad, it's near the edge at the top there." Stacy points up vertically, "Like right above us on the glass."
I look. I admit, my eyes are not the best outside the water, but I look at the edge of the glass where she's pointing.
I feel my hearts drop.
It's a crack.
It's not a small one either, it's growing down along the glass. I hear a microscopic cracking like the glass is struggling to contain the water.
I turn back towards the group, "THERE'S A CRACK IN THE GLASS!"
They startle as they look up at me, and another coworker, I think her name is Lucy says, "That isn't possible! This glass is bulletproof!"
"I swear to god there's a crack up there! Look! My kids saw it before I did!"
I hear the cracking glass behind me, and I turn to look, my blood running cold with dread.
We're frozen in horror as the glass cracks all the way down until it's leaking water, just drops at first, and then it starts to pour.
"GET OUT, NOW-!"
The glass shatters, and I'm winded by the sheer force of the roaring waves, gasping as I'm hit by shards of broken glass.
I hear someone scream. The flowing water hits another aquarium, and that one breaks another until the entire building is flooded.
Nobody can swim. Stacy in particular is struggling badly, but most of the others are hardly faring better, especially in such violent waves.
If I had nothing but sense, I would simply pretend to drown but survive miraculously while they all died so I could keep my secret, but that isn't moral. It's not me.
I know I cannot make that choice.
In an instant, I unfurl all my limbs, discarding my suit in the same motion. I take a deep breath of the cold ocean water, marveling at my ability to stretch all my arms out as far as they can go and still be surrounded by water on all sides. The aches and pains are all gone. I feel stronger than I have in such a long time.
I cannot grow distracted now. The water is finally calming slightly, so I dive down to look for my children first. I grab both of them and then swim to the surface.
"AAAHHHH! DADDY!" Stacy clung to me tightly, "I'm scared!"
"It's alright! Daddy's gotcha!" I place their hands on the top of a wall that isn't broken, "You keep your heads above the water at all costs, do you hear me!?"
"Daddy, wait-!"
I dive down to grab the next humans. I carry as many as I can at the same time, bringing them up to the surface and then diving for more. I know that a human cannot survive without oxygen for more than a couple of minutes, and even breathing the slightest amount of water is enough to kill them. That keeps my blood pumping loud in my ears as I continue to dive for more humans, terrified that I could be helping any of them even a second too late.
I finally made it to Scarlet, whose mouth is open as she stares at me blankly. I feel myself cry out in anguish, grabbing her and bringing her to the surface with my hearts in my throat.
"Please breathe. Please breathe." I hold her to keep her head above the water, "This is air my love, my life, please start breathing-!"
I saw her cough and then inhale, "I'm okay. I'm fine. I was just in awe of you."
Her hands are cold as they cradle my face. I feel myself trembling, pressing a tentacle to her neck to feel for her heartbeat. She's shivering badly, but her neck is still warm.
"Hey. I'm okay." she hugs me, "But we won't be for long. The coldness of the water might kill us anyway."
Humans need to keep up their body temperature to about 98.6 degrees fahrenheit, which means that the ocean water necessary to keep most of these sea creatures alive is far too cold. Water is a strong conductor, meaning it is taking their temperature away by the moment.
That's when I spot the shark swimming between the tanks below me, and I cut off a scream as I cling to Scarlet. I look around to see that the water is filling the entire building, the door far below shut tight. There's nowhere to run.
"Honey! It's okay!" Scarlet kicks her feet to tread water, "You need to focus!"
I can only barely hear her. I can't breathe anymore. I can only see the shark getting closer-!
I quickly swim away from it, holding Scarlet's hand to the wall until she's gripping it herself, "Keep your head above the water!"
"Honey-!"
I dive, still terrified but now with purpose. I can outswim a shark. I've done it before.
Although...if I'm crazy, I swear the shark isn't even interested in me...? Well, if it was raised in captivity for a sushi restaurant, then I suppose it wouldn't have the strongest appetite. I keep it in my sights, but decide for now that it is not my priority.
I finally find something that can help me as soon as I am focused again; There's a drain in the floor. It looks like a manhole cover, and it has a handle that could twist the cover to free it. It's embedded in the floor of one of the shattered aquariums. I grab the handle and begin to twist it.
"Honey!"
I look up as Scarlet shouts at me. Her head is still above the water, and I can see her gripping both sides of the top of the wall. Before she can say anything else though, she caves in, hugging herself as she shivers.
I'm running out of time. I twist the cover harder and it finally unlocks, but I can't lift it even a centimeter off the floor. The heavy water around me is sealing it down too tight. Maybe if I drain a little of the water somewhere else, it won't be so deep and heavy.
I find a banquet table that's longer than the others, so I wrap my arms around it and then stick my suckers to the floor on my free arms to ram the edge of the table as hard as I can into the only remaining glass wall.
"HONEY, BE CAREFUL!"
I look up and nod to acknowledge my wife before ramming again. Even using all my strength, the glass wall is only barely cracking.
"DAD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
That's Tommy's voice. I make a mental note to explain everything to him afterwards, and then I ram again.
Finally, the glass wall cracks enough that a decent stream starts to flow to the other side, and I throw the table aside to swim back to the drain.
"DADDY, LOOK OUT FOR THE SHARK!"
I just process Stacy's warning as I see the shark coming right for me, it's maw wide open. I can't swim to the side fast enough because of the flowing water, so instead as it tries to close its jaws around me, I throw my tentacles forward to rip at the shark's gills with my suckers. I've long since learned that I can't actually take on a shark in a fight, but if you make a predator's job difficult enough, it'll eventually decide that you aren't worth it and find something else to eat.
I cry out in pain as two of my arms catch on the shark's teeth anyway, releasing my blue blood into the water. My head is to the side of the shark though, so I dig my free arms into the shark's eyes to force its mouth to open, then I pull in my injured arms carefully to ensure I won't lose them. I can grow my arms back if they become amputated, but that doesn't mean I want to.
I hear Stacy's shrill scream as my blood clouds the water. I pull all my arms in as the shark is caught in the current of the broken glass, and its nose rams right through it, shattering the glass even more. It roars in pain, shark blood mixing with mine in the water before it drains away.
"I'm okay!" I call out to Stacy, and she collapses against her brother, hugging him fiercely.
I return my attention to the drain. It feels lighter now, so I just have to keep tugging on it until it finally releases, then I quickly dig the edge of the drain cover into the sandy bottom of the aquarium tank to prevent myself from getting drained away too. I'm right at the edge where the glass wall used to be, so when it drains, I will fall back onto the checkered diner floor and not into the sand.
I see someone from the outside dig a harpoon into the shark's side, finally putting the poor thing out of its misery. My round sucker burns are still embedded in its gills, open sores from where its thick skin tore.
I watch all the humans let go of the top of the wall so they can float down to the floor, but I don't see them touch down because once I reach the surface, gravity reengages and I'm suddenly gasping on the hard wet floor.
My arms feel numb. I can't even push myself upright because I'm sore and now suffocating. The air is so dry. My eyes sting and my gills burn as I try to gulp down breaths of oxygen that aren't getting to my brains fast enough.
All I hear is the familiar pounding of my hearts behind my eyes before I try and croak out, "H-help. Scarlet, help me."
I hear the sound of slapping bare feet on the floor, and then someone is lifting me into their arms. It's Scarlet. Her hair is ruined and she has red lipstick smeared over her cheek, but she's holding me and she's as beautiful as ever.
I see a tear escape her eye, "You...you really are..."
I expected her to say "an octopus" after that pause, as though she didn't really believe it until now, but instead she held me closer to kiss my forehead.
"...extraordinary."
She's still warm. I close my eyes against her, knowing now that it's safe to rest. I continue to breathe. It doesn't hurt quite so much anymore.
"Dad!" Stacy lifts one of my arms, "A-are you hurt!? I saw blood!"
I lift my two injured arms to show her they are no longer injured, "It was these that got hurt."
"Whoa." Tommy grabs them out of the air, turning them over and over, "There's not even a scratch!"
Stacy inspects the arms too, "How did they heal so fast!? Those were shark teeth on you!"
I laugh as my children gather up my limbs to move them closer to me, bending them in every direction as though they really can't believe I have no bones. They're still warm too. I'm glad to see them unhurt and running around wild and free like they always have.
Scarlet lifts my head off the ground, "Come on, now. Pull yourself together, dear."
I know what she's asking me to do. I curl two arms in, four on the ground to stabilize me, and then I push myself off the ground until I'm standing upright.
Stacy hands me each piece of my clothing, my pants and shirt, my tie, and then my jacket. Scarlet helps me put them on, and for the moment, it helps me forget that I have just exposed my secret to the entire restaurant and all of Scarlet's friends and work associates.
It feels good to have my disguise back on. I know my family has seen my true self before, but they didn't know it was me at the time. Stacy figured it out first, clever girl, but nobody else aside from the chef had. Now, they have seen me be a total true octopus in full daylight knowing exactly who it was.
"Did you guys see that!?" Tommy waves his arms in the air, "Dad was so fast through the water! And then he fought the shark and WON! He like, grabbed it and ripped its skin off! That was so cool-!"
"Easy there, sport." I pat his head as he practically vibrates with excitement, "It's not as though I enjoy attacking other sea creatures, especially ones that may be critically endangered."
"But it attacked you first! It was totally fair!"
I see Craig coming out of the corner of my eye, and I avert my gaze as he stops beside Scarlet. Stacy reaches out to hold my hand, and Tommy moves as though prepared to act as a shield between me and him, one arm halfway out.
Craig gestured to me, his mouth hanging open for a minute, "Did you guys...know?"
Scarlet turned so she was facing him, stepping subtly in front of me, "Not until recently. He kept the secret from me and my kids."
"And you just believed him? Where did you two meet?"
"A fishing boat." she answered, "But I was a stowaway on it and he said he was too, which was technically true. I mean, he looks human enough like this, doesn't he?"
I don't know exactly why at first, but I feel a distinct sense of shame. Not for the first time, I wonder what the point of all this is. The only thing I ever wanted to be was human, and I thought I had it when the mates on board believed I was captain because I wore his uniform. The same was even true of Scarlet, who was trying to illegally flee to another country to escape her then abusive partner and his family. I remember realizing that never telling Scarlet my name would eventually be suspicious, so I scoured human naming resources until I was finally able to sputter out, "My name is...Jared! Jared uhh...Davis!" and the rest is history.
I just...liked her. I don't know how it happened, but once I threw the chef overboard, I felt safe with her. She asked me to dance, and I couldn't say no.
What was I thinking? An octopus living on land? Living as a human in a human family? It was like a human wanting to be a cloud. I may as well have hooked myself onto an intoxicating dream with how out of touch I was.
"Honey? What's wrong?"
I want to melt into the floor. Maybe it would have been better for me to get caught in that drain and end up who knows where. The octopi in those broken tanks probably fled as soon as they were free considering I see none of them here, yet here I am, stubbornly glued to my fantasy, sticking my feet into the clouds to drift away with them to a place I was never meant to be.
"Hey. Jared. Look at me."
I look up as Scarlet places a gentle hand on my face. I say nothing as she sighs, holding both sides of my head, trying to shake me.
"You look like you're thinking too hard."
I know by now she can read me like a book. I fell in love with her that day on that fishing boat, and I've been in love with her ever since. I know I could never have this perfect life with her if I hadn't climbed onto that boat, even though on a human fishing boat, I was probably in more danger than I was between the jaws of a hungry shark.
I feel Stacy squeeze my arm, "Daddy? What are you thinkin' about?"
I don't know anymore. I lift my free arm to touch Scarlet's hand on my head, feeling solid and boney underneath my touch. I'm deeply envious of her ability to stand so solidly, as if walking is as natural as breathing.
Finally, I lift my head to look at Craig, "You will not tell anyone, will you?"
He smiles at me, and I'm shocked by how real it looks, "Considering you just saved all our lives, I'm not about to betray your trust. Nobody would believe us anyway."
The other humans nod at each other in agreement, and I feel heavy with relief, relying on Scarlet to hold me up as I tremble.
"I knew it!" Augustine is here again, his glare like sharp rocks and ice on my skin, "Are we just gonna ignore this!? We're gonna let these people harbor an illegal sea creature and parade it around like a 'husband' and 'father' without so much as an eyebrow raise!?"
I feel a hot flash of anger through my entire being as I grab his arm, squeezing tight in a warning, "With all due respect, Doctor Claud Augustine, you know nothing about me."
He looks frightened now, his eyes wide open as they stare at my arm on his, then up at me.
"You may think you know a lot about marine life, their biology, their anatomy, or their lifecycle, but you don't know a single thing about me." I let go of him, straightening my tie, "You don't know who I am, and you certainly know nothing about my family. If you ever bother us again with your petty threats, I will show you how human I can really be."
He scowls before running off, hugging himself as he shivers, and I hope it will be enough to make him take me seriously.
"Well, what do you say we go home?" Scarlet brushes the wrinkles out of my suit jacket, though it's pretty pointless considering it's still sopping wet, "I'd say you've earned it three times over by now."
I let my arms fall, "But what if Augustine is right? What if I don't belong here?"
"Hey! I won't have you going on a self-deprecating spiral because of that asshole!" Scarlet grabs my tie to pull it tight around the base of all my arms, "You belong here in the human world as much as the rest of us! As long as you want to stay, there will always be a place for you here!"
The words do little to quell my doubts, but I am relieved that she still wants me, "Okay. Let's go home, then."
"I call shotgun!" Tommy announces before taking off.
"Hey! No fair!" Stacy screams as she runs after him, "You had it on the way here!"
"Careful, kids! Watch the broken glass!"
The kids run through the now-open door, around the intact glass wall where the shark still is.
"Kids!" Scarlet and I finally catch up with the kids, with me carrying her over the glass since she'd lost her shoes, "Hey, none of that. What if your father wants the front seat?"
The two kids suddenly stand up straight, shuffling their feet in embarrassment.
"Oh, it's alright. I don't enjoy the front seat anyway." I tell them, "I think Stacy should have the front seat, since she didn't get it on the way here."
"Yes!" Stacey cheers.
"Aw, man!" Tommy sits in the back dejectedly.
"What? Is sitting in the back with your dad such a punishment?" I tease as I sit beside him.
"It's not that!" Tommy insists, crossing his arms indignantly, "I miss when Stacy was too light to sit in the front! Then I could have it all the time!"
Stacy turns to face him, neck craned back, "Tough luck! You'll also get to drive before I do!"
Their banter is a welcome familiarity, and I sit back in my seat as my beloved drives us home.
I feel flat as a pancake lying in our bed after Scarlet puts the kids to bed. I usually help her, but she told me I need to rest, and the kids were not argumentative over it for obvious reasons.
I hear our bedroom door close, "So. I have more questions for you."
I sigh as she sits on the bed beside me, "Oh yeah?"
"I always wondered why you didn't seem to have a childhood." Scarlet lay down beside me, letting out a long sigh, "So what's the truth? How did you spend your childhood? Why could you speak the day we met? Did you just come up out of the ocean and fall in love with me?"
"My love, please; One question at a time." I say with some humor, "The earliest memories I have are simply of wandering. You might know it better than I do, in fact, considering all the nature documentaries you helped to film."
"I suppose I have filmed a cephalopod or two in my time..." she pulls out her cellular phone, which miraculously was not destroyed in the flood, "What's your species called?"
"The red pacific octopus." I reply easily, "It is one of the first things I learned about myself."
"How did you know that?" Scarlet asks as she types it in.
"Biology textbooks are surprisingly resilient." I look at her phone screen over her shoulder, "I simply had to be careful with them while I turned their wet pages. There were many words I saw before I knew how they were pronounced, and I knew when a passage was about me because of the similarities."
"Oh! They look just like you!" Scarlet says with obvious delight, scrolling through the images that came up in her internet browser, "Some of them even look like they're posing for the camera!"
The signature bright orange color is unmistakable, as are my species' rare forward-facing eyes. Most octopi have eyes near the front of their heads of course, but they are not nearly as close together as they are for me. They are almost just as forward-facing as a human's similar two eyes, which makes us look startlingly human for something so distantly related.
"The red pacific octopus is special for its rare level of depth perception in its forward-facing eyes and the impressive size of its prefrontal cortex in its primary brain." the source read that Scarlet clicked on; An international geographic website full of animal facts straight from marine biologists, "This octopus is world-famous for its intelligence, but it lives so far below the surface that scientists are unable to determine its full life cycle or lifespan. Many believe it only lives for about two years before mating leads to an early death, which would be an impressive lifespan for an octopus, but more studies need to be done to determine the full extent of its capabilities."
"Well. We know you're obviously older than two." Scarlet scoffs, my wife of ten years, "But is that true? Would you die from octopus mating?"
I grimace, "I believe so. I knew of some who survived, but they lived in pain the rest of their shortened lives because the arm that delivers the spermatophores is severed and left inside the female, and the female dies soon after laying her eggs."
"That's so awful." Scarlet continues to scroll, but it's clear the page is incomplete due to a lack of information, so she turns her phone off and then turns her full attention to me, "So...tell me about your life, then. I want to hear as much as you can tell me."
I nod, "I can tell you. Essentially, I wandered alone for a long time. My species is solitary, so I had no concept of family or friendship. The only others I knew were drifters who didn't care for me unless I had food to share. No females were interested in me because I didn't want to mate. I always felt rejected and out of place, so I thought I would simply live a lonely existence for the rest of my natural life. That is, until I found the shoreline and discovered humans."
Scarlet held my hand as I spoke, and I allowed myself the rare indulgence of wrapping my hand completely around hers, holding her palm and wrist with one soft spiral. She gave my arm a squeeze, smiling sweetly at me.
"I heard them talk, and I knew I could mimic their voices because they thought I was human if they didn't see me. I taught myself to read, connecting the symbols to sounds as I heard radio shows and stories from sailors. I even listened in on lessons from video tapes and classrooms close to the shoreline. I did this for so many years, I don't even know how many years I spent simply soaking up as much knowledge as I could, until one day I realized I wanted to be human."
Scarlet throws herself at me in a crushing hug, "You're like the little mermaid!"
I laugh, my whole body wobbling as I hug her back, "Yes, I suppose I am."
Scarlet made me watch the movie early into our relationship because she heard I'd only read the book. In the book, the mermaid princess trades her voice for a pair of legs, and she feels like there are needles or knives stabbing into her feet with every step she takes. I felt it was an apt description for my clumsy first attempts at walking the way a human would.
"Is that when you tried to actually talk to the humans?" Scarlet asked.
"Yes, and they did not listen to a word I said. I decided I must disguise myself as them once I was on that fishing boat. At the time, I'd only done it out of desperation to escape from a life of shark attacks and crushing loneliness. I didn't even know if clothing would be enough of a disguise, but most people saw my human-looking eyes and thought nothing of it."
"I don't blame them. Your eyes look shockingly human." Scarlet stroked my face next to my eye, tracing the outer eyelid with her thumb.
"I worried it was simply the darkness that made me easy to hide, but in the morning, you still did not suspect a thing." I smile wryly at her, "Lucky for me, I suppose. You are a gorgeous specimen of the human race."
"Ha. Thank you, dear. I suppose that's why you talk the way you do? Because you're mimicking the way scientists talk about you?"
"That is correct. It's a habit I don't quite know how to break."
I watch Scarlet sit up so she can take off her dress, "So, about the shark attacks...?"
I grimace, "Don't remind me. I've been in six of them. Well, now seven. I lost one of my arms during an attack, and it took weeks for the arm to regrow."
"You can regrow limbs!?"
I lifted the previously-severed limb, "We have to. Our lives are rife with danger, and we must live at least long enough to reproduce."
"Jesus." Scarlet removes her bra and then buttons up her nightshirt, "So you were in constant danger before you met me."
"That's right."
"Did you return to the ocean between our visits?"
"Not quite. I did find a way to live in a boarding house for avid fishermen, and they let me stay in exchange for paid work. I also had to procure some amount of paperwork, so at the offices I claimed I lost my immigration papers overseas. Before computers were used for everything, that was more of a valid excuse. My official birthplace is listed as 'the Caribbean', which is technically as true as I can make it."
"Where were you really born?"
"The northern Pacific ocean." I reply, "Did you not read the article about my species?"
"Alright, I get it."
Scarlet climbs into bed with me, and I roll into her, careful about the placement of my limbs. My deepest, darkest fantasy is to be able to wrap all eight of my arms around her so I can feel her warmth around my entire body, but I dare not give into my perverse desire. No matter how many times Scarlet assures me, I still fear her disgust of me. I simply could not handle it.
"Honey."
I make a non-committal noise, and Scarlet huffs.
"Jared."
I groan, "What?"
"You don't have to be careful anymore." she tugs on my tie, "You can relax. I know maintaining this form all the time is painful for you."
I squeeze her a little in fear, "But I don't want you to see me like that."
She suddenly hovers over me, her hands slamming down onto the bed at my sides, "Jared 'Octodad' Davis, I don't love you despite you being an octopus, I love you because you're an octopus. I could never imagine you as anything else because you are perfect the way you are and I love the weirdo I married and not some human that isn't you. Do I make myself clear?"
She hadn't known I was an octopus when we first met, but she always knew there was something off about me. She knew I could refill printer ink on command, that my limbs never seemed to break, that I drink my coffee with sea salt and tartar sauce and that the most basic human tasks are a significant challenge for me. She could see that I was different, that I was a very black sheep in a sea of pure white ones, and she still loved me all the same.
I am still afraid though. I shake my head, and her fists tighten in the sheets.
"I don't want you to be in pain." she says harsher, sitting back on my body to free her arms, already undoing my tie, "I will not forsake you the way all those people did. I want you to be comfortable, so if nobody else is watching, I want you to relax."
"Okay, but...!" I knock her hands away before she can touch the buttons on my shirt, "Will you...I-I don't want you to see. If nothing else, will you allow me this comfort?"
Scarlet lays back down beside me and then pulls the covers up over the both of us, "There. Now I can't see."
I still feel oddly exposed as I slowly pull all my arms out of the suit. I'm stalling because of how nervous I am, but Scarlet doesn't rush me, just waiting patiently as I finally free myself from my human disguise, pushing it away so it slides out to the floor. I allow myself to relax utterly into the bed, and it feels like heaven.
I feel Scarlet's hand on my arm under the covers, and I gasp.
"It's okay. It's just me." She scoots closer to me, "I still don't see. It's okay."
The texture of her pajamas feels luxurious against my skin. I wrap two of my arms around her body, then twirl two more around each of her legs. There is still fear holding me back, but I love her warmth, her sturdy structure always a comfort, always holding me together. This is as far as I will go, at least for now.
She lays one of those sturdy, warm arms over me, "Goodnight, dear."
I fall asleep quickly, and it's the best sleep I've had in a long time.
The ocean waves stretch well into the far distance as I stand hand-in-hand with Scarlet. The sunset is beautiful over the sea, the clouds exploding with brilliant red and pink and orange and all the colors of the rainbow reflected in the water.
It's bittersweet being back here after such a long time away. I know it's where home should be for me, and yet I still stubbornly cling to land, to the human world, even when it stresses me out and causes me physical pain and makes me spill hot coffee all over myself because I can't get the damn liquid into my mouth-hole in a smooth motion.
I know there is some amount of homesickness in me however, which is why I asked Scarlet to take me here this evening.
Even so, I am hesitant to get in the water. I am still self-conscious of how inhuman I am, and I would be heartbroken if this was the moment Scarlet decided she was too disgusted with me to continue our relationship.
"Honey." Scarlet pressed her hands into my sides, "No matter what happens, you are still my husband. I love you, including those parts of you you wish you could change."
"Forgive me, my love, but I cannot help but wish to lessen my pain."
Scarlet grips my arm, bending it a little bit, "I read once that octopi have three hearts and nine brains. Is that true?"
I smile at her, "Yes, it's true! I have two hearts for each of my gills and one more for the rest of my body. In addition to the main brain I have capable of higher reasoning and logic, I have a smaller brain for each of my arms."
"So they move on their own? Without your input?" Scarlet flexes my arm, scrutinizing it closely.
"Well, sort of, yes. They move largely based on instinct, so I can suggest a path for them, but they often simply do their own thing, which is helpful when there are eight of them working together like synchronized swimmers to grab food quickly and flee from predators, but it is exceedingly frustrating when I need them to move together the way humans can move, so you can move all your limbs at once without even thinking about it, but every one of my movements on land is very calculated."
"Huh. We have something like that too." Scarlet replies thoughtfully, "We have reflexes, and they're controlled by the spinal cord."
I feel my face fall dejectedly, "I wish I had a spinal cord..."
"Don't!"
I look at her in surprise, "Don't what?"
"Don't wish you were different." Scarlet shakes my whole body, "Don't wish you were anything other than what you are. That's what breeds that self-hatred you ended up with."
"My love, I want to be human." my arms wrap around her to hold her tightly, "I cannot take this constant stress and secrecy. If I were human, it would not matter. I would not have to live like this."
"But I don't want you to be different. Don't you understand?"
I don't answer. Scarlet's face takes on an expression I can't quite read. It looks like she's thinking, her face blank, but there's something else behind it that's difficult to pinpoint.
Scarlet's hands fall onto my tie, "Can I take this off you?"
I gasp and grab her wrists, but my grip is weak. I know I can trust her with my life, but my mind is still so magnetized to the fear; The fear that everything will be over because my secret got out. I can't help it, I kept the secret for over ten years. By now, it is simply a habit.
But things can change. I think. She is still your wife.
Finally, I force my grip to loosen, "O-okay."
She smiles as she loosens my tie. I am still so nervous about exposing my true self in front of her. I feel vulnerable as she helps me out of my shirt, jacket, and pants, deftly undoing each button with ease.
I whimper as I tearfully continue to hold myself together, then I slowly relax out of my tight position, and then Scarlet is looking down on me from above.
She laughs as I wave at her from the ground, "I never think about how your arms are most of the length of your entire body."
I shrug before slithering across the warm sand to the ocean. It's more of a relief than I can describe when the cold salty water washes over me and I push off the shoreline.
The last little bits of the fading sunlight ripple through the water above me. It's so peaceful, and I finally feel at home. I think about how much I wish I could feel like this on land, and I remember what Scarlet said about hating myself because of comments like that. Maybe I did let those thoughts consume me a little too much. It's just so hard having everything be so difficult for me, and instead of having people show me sympathy, I just fear my life is over because people think I'm a freak, and then they figure it all out.
I look up just in time to see Scarlet's feet enter the water. There's a steep drop that's hard to see above the water, so I launch myself at her in time to catch her as her foot slips on the drop and she nearly falls off into the deep end.
"Scarlet!" I dig two arms into the sand below as I hold her with two more, "What are you doing!?"
"What?" she laughs, "I knew you would catch me!"
I sigh, and she laughs louder.
"I wish I could show you how wonderful it is down there." I squeeze her arm, "There is so much to see. I would even hold you so you did not have to swim."
"I could always rent out some scuba gear." she suggests.
"I know, but the water pressure is difficult to handle if you are not used to it. I could not bring you too far down."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Scarlet leaned back into my arms, "Humans have been pretty far down in nothing but scuba gear and have been perfectly fine. You just gotta do it slow."
I am ashamed to admit I lose my composure here. I make a truly obnoxious blubbering sound as I twirl her around in my arms, disturbing the waves around us and nearly falling back into the water without letting go of her. At least I did not accidentally drown her. That would be both devastating as well as unbecoming, but I was simply so excited to have at least one fantasy come true that I could not be bothered to keep up my poise.
We wash up on the beach, and I don't realize how tightly I'm clinging to her. I feel both her arms around me, finding purchase on me as I relax into the sand. I almost have all my arms around her now, and it is just as wonderful as I always imagined it would be, if not more.
"Ouch!"
I force my arms into the sand to push me up, blubbering incoherently as I loosen my grip, looking for injuries.
"No, it's okay, dear." Scarlet lifted a rock from underneath her back, "It was just this. You're alright."
I hold her face with one hand, "Are you certain?"
"Yes, of course." Scarlet sits up, resting her head on her knees, "You go on. Enjoy the ocean as long as you want, and then we can go home."
"I may simply swim away and never come back." I say, almost in a tease, "You are so certain I will return?"
"Of course I am." she cocks her head as she pokes me with one finger, "You would no more return to the ocean than I would move back to the African savanna where humans evolved."
She's right. I push myself up enough to bump my face against hers, the closest I can get to a human kiss, "I will see you later, my love."
"Have fun."
She holds one of my tentacles until I'm no longer in range, slipping into the ocean and then disappearing under the surface until my wife is no longer visible. Her form wavers through the water, and I just barely catch her smile at me before the murkiness of the water and the edge of the shoreline obstructs her from my view.
No matter how far I go, I am forever tethered to her. Even if I swim to the other side of the planet, I will always be drawn back to my true home.
And I marvel to myself as I look up at the dark twilit sky through the calm seas that I wouldn't have it any other way.
THE END