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Summary:

Boothill does not dream. It is one of the many things he has lost with his physical body. The joy and terror of sleep, the fleeting images that passed through his subconscious every night. And yet, when he locks eyes with a robotic humanoid with teal glowing eyes and a refined suit you might expect from someone of great nobility and power, he thinks he might be dreaming. Especially when said man walks over to him.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Boothill does not dream. It is one of the many things he has lost with his physical body. The joy and terror of sleep, the fleeting images that passed through his subconscious every night. And yet, when he locks eyes with a robotic humanoid with teal glowing eyes and a refined suit you might expect from someone of great nobility and power, he thinks he might be dreaming. Especially when said man walks over to him. 

“Boothill,” Screwllum, ruler of the  planet  Screwllum, speaks to him. “Nice to meet you. I have heard of you and your endeavors.”

Boothill’s hand tightens around his cup. “What do you want?” ‘ He asks. “Surely a cyborg like me is of no interest to you.”

Screwllum sits down, scanning Boothill from head to toe. He thinks that if he were still human, he would have flushed. “I simply wanted to fulfill a fleeting curiosity of mine.” A neatly gloved hand moves to rest on the counter. 

“What? So I’m a cute attraction for you to gawk at?” Now, Boothill’s sure he would have completely flushed. Damn this ridiculous censorship filter.

Screllum tilts his head. He then chuckles. “Ah yes, I was informed about this. A censorship filter is built into your software. I believe, gather from context clues, you were going to say, “So I’m a fucking attraction for you to gawk at?’” Boothill stares at Screwllum for a moment. Then he laughs, a genuine one that shakes his whole body as he slams his drink down on the counter. “Ya know, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. A man as refined as you cursing in such a vulgar way? I wish I got that on recordin’.” Boothill takes a long swig of his drink. 

Screwllum stares at him for a moment. “You know me, then?’ I am surprised. I did not expect my name to even reach your ears.” His fingers continue to tap rhythmically against the wood of the bar.

“Well, yer a pretty famous guy. Plus, I kinda got curious about other robot folks after this happened.” He makes vague gestures at his body. 

Screwlwllum nods. “Of course, it's only natural to seek those whose experiences are familiar to you after times of great change or crisis. Although I am afraid I will be of little use to you, as I was always a robot. The human experience escapes me.” He seems genuinely disappointed by this, as disappointed as a robot can seem. Boothill  really  shouldn’t find that endearing.

“No worries, no worries. Bet it’s hard for you to find others like you too. Considering you’re a genius and all.” He chuckles, taking a swig of his drink. “So? Whaddya want from me? Surely you didn’t track me down just to say hi.” He crosses his legs, leaning back in his chair. Screwllum remains seated, his posture so perfect that it annoys Boothill.

“Well, to tell you the truth, that is simply it. I wanted to see what you, a unique lifeform, was like. And I have.”He turns his head to look Boothill right in the eye.

He glances away from his gaze. “Oh, and lemme guess. You’re disappointed. Most people are.”

“It is a good thing that I am not a person, then.” Screwllum leans forward slightly, and gently places a hand on Boothill’s shoulder. He can’t decide if he wants to punch him or leave the hand there. “Do not sell yourself short, Boothill. People’s perceived view of your sophistication is not an accurate measure as to your worth. Those who expect cyborgs to suddenly become robotic beings are misguided.”

Oh. Boothill leans a little closer to Screwllum, watching his impassive metal face. “Are you sure you’re not just telling me this to make me happy?” 

“Well, that is one motivator behind my actions towards you. I do not like to see a lifeform so similar to me suffer. But I do mean what I say. I find you a refreshing break from the typical monotony of the robotic lifeforms I encounter. You are human in soul. That is a truly impressive thing.” Screwllum says all this as if he’s reporting the weather and Boothill has the intense urge to both slap him or kiss him. He jerks away as the second thought passes through his mind. 

“Are you alright?” Screwllum asks, hand hovering in the air.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit–

“Uh, yeah! I saw a, y’know, bug! A real big one. Scared the rainbows out of me, haha!” Boothill waves his arms around like a damn fool and Screwllum lets out a soft noise. 

Disappointment? Anger? Annoyance? Boothill tries not to panic. This is just some stranger he barely knows. A very,  very , hot and kind stranger, but a stranger.

Screwllum lowers his hand. “I see. Quite humorous to see that a man such as you still has a phobia of insects. Not that that is a bad thing. Simply a fascinating result of your creation.” 

Boothill lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh. You sure are a funny guy, aren’t you?” He moves his stool closer to Screwllum. He doesn’t move away. “Come on, let’s drink! A toast to new friendships. Whaddya say?” 

Screwllum tilts his head. For a moment, he thinks he might refuse. “If you insist. But I must add that I don't feel the effects of alcohol.” 

“Neither do I! Means we can drink all we want, eh?” Boothill swings an arm around Screwllum’s shoulder. “Come on, bartender! Get us some soju. The good kind!”

 

Notes:

screwllum: i think you are fascinating.
boothill, developing a crush almost instantly: that is literally the first time someone has said that to me in a positive way

please please let someone else see the vision in this. robot/cyborg lovers unite.