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There are three things Wille has learned in his time at university studying art.
One — oil painting is a bitch and impossible to get the hang of when one has spent all their time working with watercolors and gouache. Too much prep and not enough looking perfect from the second he puts paint to canvas.
Two — he is probably the most awkward person on the planet (sometimes second to his mother’s weird assistant Jan Olaf). This fact has not been lost to him, especially after that one incident in high school that involved him, a locker, and one too many textbooks. University, somehow, has managed to magnify his inability to function normally around people of all ages (though he does pretty great with toddlers).
And three (sort of related to number 2 for reasons he will now reveal) — Simon Eriksson is the most handsome man he’s ever seen and subsequently he is so far out of Wille’s league that it’s almost comical he even has to point it out. With his soft curls and his affinity for the color purple and his beautiful voice and his…
Sorry! Let’s rewind a little.
The first time Wille met this angel was on the night of his first ever uni party. After an hour of begging (read: Felice) and threatening of bodily harm (read: Maddie), Wille had been forcefully dressed in a casual button down and jeans, and then dragged to a party one of the other first year students was throwing (Lukas, he thinks his name was). He lost both of his traitor friends three hours in and reluctantly walked himself to the kitchen. If he was going to be forced to stay for a couple more hours he might as well get drunk enough to deal with it, though the first 4 drinks he had were already helping with that.
The kitchen was, thankfully, far less crowded than the main parts of the apartment, and he was grateful to be able to stand in place without someone bumping into him. Perusing the options, he settled on making himself a vodka soda, snatching a coke from the table and pouring it into a cup followed by one too many shots. As he swallowed a large gulp, thankfully at that point in the night where he was no longer feeling the burn, he finally noticed that there was another figure, well three actually, in the room.
The trio were laughing and talking amongst themselves, clearly close if their body language indicated anything. The girl on the left was quite short, dressed in a short white dress that flattered her figure. Her hair was a light brown color, falling just past her shoulders with the upper half tied up in what appears to be a rather elaborate hairdo. On the right stood a boy, gesturing wildly as he told a story, voice boisterous. His facial hair was impressive, something Wille would find time to be jealous of later if he wasn't so distracted by the boy stood in the center.
He was… ethereal . Well and truly the most beautiful human Wille had ever laid eyes on. His hair was curly, perfect strands falling lightly into his face. His tan skin was on display thanks to the muscle tank he was wearing, which also served to show off the multitude of tattoos dotting along his toned arms. His smile was something Wille knew he would be dreaming of for years to come. Even his teeth were perfect, practically reflecting the low lighting of the room. Wille was too drunk to fully pinpoint his voice but he was sure even that was beautiful. And his eyes, god his eyes , the most perfect shade of br—
Shit, he faintly registered, he’s been caught staring. Amused and slightly curious eyes glanced back at him and Wille had never before wanted the ground to swallow him so badly. He averted his gaze and stumbled out of the room to save some portion of his dignity. He tried in vain to search for his friends and just as he had begun giving up and completing the merits of leaving them here so he could go to his room and rot, a gentle hand touched his shoulder.
He turned and came face to face with the perfect stranger. Fuck, he was even nicer to look at up close. He motives he had a small scar right next to his bottom lip which only led Wille to noticing how pink his lips were, stretched up in a hesitant smile. Belatedly he realized that mouth was speaking to him and he darted his eyes up quickly to try and tune in.
“-r seen you before. What’s your name?”
And, dear reader, had this been a different fic of the same fictional couple just in different fonts, this would be the moment Wille introduced himself to the man and learned his name in kind just in time for them to ride off into the sunset together, never to be seen again. Unfortunately for you and Wilhelm, this is not the case.
Wille opened his mouth to respond only for sirens to begin echoing in the background before the nearly 100 party attendees lost their shit and began running around like headless chickens. Wille found himself being pushed out of the way, making him lose sight of the pretty man as he tried to not get trampled in the panic. By the time he made it outside, his drink now rapidly cooling his abdomen where it had spilled, and found his friends a few blocks away, he had no hope of seeing him again.
Or, rather, no hope of seeing him that night because, oh boy , does he see the boy again. At the library, in the park across the street from campus, in the halls, at the grocery store that Wilhelm frequents because they have the gummies he likes to eat when painting into the wee hours of the morning. He sees him on the bus and in the cafeteria and in the elevator. He hears his voice on the school radio because apparently, the love of his life is so intent on torturing him that he just so happens to be the host of the university’s radio station and the lead singer of the most popular band on campus. He sees him nearly everyday and is forced to watch him laugh and talk and hug just about everyone but him. Why? Because Wille is a disaster of a human bring and because… the boy seems to have no memory of them meeting. And it’s been 3 years and he still has yet to gather the nerve to speak to him.
“So let me get this straight-“
“Not very straight if you ask me!”
“ God dammit Maddie , could you be serious for one second?” Felice glared at her.
Maddie shrugged, a serene smile on her lips. Felice sighed and turned back to Wilhelm who had gone back to his sketchbook to try and stop having this conversation.
“Let me see if I’m understanding this right. You, Wille, have spent the better part of three years pining over the campus hot boy-“
“He really is a smoke show!”
“Maddie!” Wille and Felice yell at the same time, the girl ignoring them as she continues braiding her hair.
“Three years, you’ve spent staring at him like some sort of creepy uncle at a dinner party who your mother tells you to ignore-“
“Hey!”
Felice slams her hand onto the library table, ignoring the indignant stares of other students. “The next person who interrupts me is talking over nail clipping duties for Isla for the next year , got it?” She takes a deep breath and leans back, “ Continuing . All you’ve done is watch him from the sidelines and what has that gotten you? Nothing. You are 21, queer, and in uni. Why don’t you live a little? Put yourself out there like everyone else. What’s the worst he could say if you ask him out? No?”
“ What’s the worst he could say if you ask him out? ” Wille mimicked, glaring back at his best friend. “That’s the worst fucking scenario. If I asked him out and he said no, I'd have to move to the other side of the country, hell, the other side of the world . I’m not built for rejection if you couldn’t already tell. Do you remember that one time I asked Ms, Berg if I could read a different book during quiet reading time because I’d already read the one she assigned?”
“Oh, that was so funny!” Maddie exclaimed, “You, like, totally freaked out right? I think they had to call your mom to pick you up because you wouldn’t stop shaking and sweating profusely.”
Wille kicked her under the table as the girl sitting at the table nearest them gave him an odd look, scooching her chair further away from their table. “Yes, Maddie, thank you for that very loud retelling.” He turned back to Felice with a defeated sigh, “It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s not going to end well. He’s an enigma and I’m lucky if I can go the whole day without making a fool out of myself. He could have literally any guy he wants. There’s no way that’s me.”
A somber mood fell over the table as Wille slumped further into himself, picking his book bag up to pack his things haphazardly. Felice and Maddie shared a pity filled look as he got up, looking at them awkwardly.
“I’ll see you guys at home, yeah?” He was done talking about it. He would never be brave enough to ask out Simon and that was just a fact of life.
————
“Kissing booth!”
Wille startled awake, shooting up from his position slumped over his laptop, a suspicious puddle formed beside the track pad. He looked around the room wide-eyed before his gaze landed on where Felice was standing in the doorway. She looked twice as crazed as Wille felt and if he didn’t get an explanation right now for her nearly sending him to an early grave, he was not going to be responsible for how he responded.
“What,” he spit, rubbing a hand over his chest to try and calm his heart down, “could possibly be important enough for you to barge into my room screaming like you’re in an opera?”
“Ugh, you’re such a drama queen!” Felice grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “Anyway, I have some important updates for your quest to win Simon’s heart.”
“There is no quest, Felice , and it would be very kind of you to remember that every once in a while.”
“Well, there won’t be one with that attitude,” she sniffed, tossing her braids over her shoulders, “If you decide to stop being a negative nancy, you can join me and Maddie in the living room to hear our plan.”
Wille watched her leave, feeling annoyed and yet also not able to deny that he was intrigued. He reluctantly followed her into their living room where the tv was already set up with a power point presentation. Felice and Maddie stood in front of the tv and only now did he notice her outfit. They were both, inexplicably, wearing pants suits in flattering shades of red and pink, looking just a bit like those lawyers in that tv show they liked to play on the weekends.
Maddie wordlessly gestured for him to sit down. As he settled, he glanced at the screen.
“‘Mission (Im)Possible: An idiots guide to getting the boy’— are you guys fucking kidding me?”
“Told you he wouldn’t appreciate the idiot part,” Maddie whispered forlornly, “He has no taste. No sense of whimsy.”
“He’s not yet a lost cause but I fear he’s approaching that point,” Felice whispered back.
“Would you two stop whispering about me? I’m right here?!”
“Yes, we are aware of that, Wille,” Maddie sighed before her face changed instantly, now looking at him with a crazed glint in her eyes. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to welcome you to our show.”
“On today's episode, we have sad and lonely Wille who is seeking help with his boy related woes. Now, dear audience, do you think that we can help this poor sod revamp his nonexistent love life? Stay tuned to find out!”
“Who the fuck are you guys speaking to?!”
They pointedly ignore him, switching to the next slide which only contains two photos — one of him and one of Simon’s which they’d stolen off his public Instagram (wille would know, he’s stared at it for an ungodly amount of time).
“Wille here has a crush, and quite an embarrassing one if I may add, on one Simon Eriksson,” Felice smiled, pointing a laser at Wille’s face.
“Ah, yes, Felice, embarrassing indeed,” Maddie’s own laser points to Simon. “Mr. Eriksson is what some might consider to be a ‘campus crush’. Everyone and their dogs wants a crumb of his attention and weird, awkward Wille is no different.”
“Oh my god,” Wille groaned, dropping his face into his hands as they continued. Isla, Felice’s dog whom they all shared custody of, came running over and plopped her head in his lap, his only saving grace in this mess.
“He can sing, play the piano, and has the prettiest tattoos. What more can you ask for, am I right?”
“Right you are, Mads. I even heard he once rescued a dog who’d been abandoned in an alleyway. Isn’t that neat, Isla?”
Isla barked and Wille gave her a wounded look. “Traitor,” he whispered. She licked his face.
“But you know, I came across some very interesting information while on campus today,” Maddie hummed, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Oh? And what information could that be?”
“Well, thank you for asking, Felice.” The slide switched to a flier Wille had seen going around for the annual club fair fundraiser that was coming up in a week. “An anonymous tipper, who requested their identity remain hidden, told me that Mr. Eriksson will be participating in the upcoming fundraiser as a representative for the university acapella club.”
“You don’t say?” Felice gasped dramatically. “And pray tell, what booth will he be running?”
Wille was, unfortunately, even more intrigued now as he tried to maintain a mostly annoyed and nonchalant demeanor. He didn’t know Simon would be participating in the fundraiser, though it did make sense. Simon had been the lead organizer of all the schools lgbtq+ charity events, doing it all with a smile on his face and a gay pride pin on his collar. So it wasn’t far fetched to hear that he would be running the kissing booth for the ac-
“I’m sorry,” Wille spit, “what did you just say?”
“Simon will be running a kissing booth to raise money for the club's travel and hotel expenses for the international competition taking place in Milan next month. Ugh,” Maddie glared at him, “were you even paying attention?”
“Boys.” The two of them said in unison, shaking their heads like Wille’s mom does every time he comes home for the weekend.
He felt like he was on fire. The thought of Simon sitting all handsome behind a stall, kissing random people on campus who have probably been dying for a chance to kiss those soft lips, made him want to vomit. No, it made him want to cry .
“Oh, no, that’s his ‘I’m about to cry ’ face. Fuck, Felice, what do we do?”
Feluce snapped her fingers to get his attention. He looked up at her with watery eyes and a shaky bottom lip, mouth set in a pout. “Hey, we said we had a plan, okay? Don’t start crying now.”
“I’ve already told you, it’s no use. Simon is out of my league and now he’s gonna spend an entire day kissing people who aren’t me and he’ll probably meet some guy he likes and they’ll go on a date and-“
A whistle echoed throughout their apartment and Wille snapped his mouth shut, glaring defiantly even as he stops talking.
“Stop catastrophizing! You are not a hopeless case despite what you may think. Simon would be lucky to date you, so stop acting like you’re a piece of shit and start acting like you’re the shit,” Maddie scolded. She tilted her head to the side with a smile, “That was good .”
“Anyway,” Felice smiled kindly, “hear us out first and then you can make your decision.”
The slide changed to a crude drawing of a kissing booth, obviously drawn by two people who were not adept at drawing.
“You are going to go to that fair dressed in your nicest outfit, stand in that line and kiss Simon Eriksson so well that he has no choice but to ask you on a date.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Wille says miserably.
Felice and Maddie share a look and turn to him in creepy synch. “We don’t think that’ll be an issue.”
Well, that wasn’t scary at all. No, truly, he very much enjoyed that (he decidedly did not and he was now slightly scared to sleep in the same apartment as them).
————
“No.”
“Yes.”
“ No .”
“ Yes ,” Felice glared at him beneath her Prada sunglasses.
Wille glared right back, unwilling to back down. All day the fundraiser had been bustling and students from all sorts of departments and clubs had filled the quad. The cooking club booth was handing out tacos next to where the knitting club booth was selling handmade cardigans. Across from them the pottery club was giving a demonstration on how to make mugs. The early spring Sweden sun was kind to them, shining down to make the day just warm enough for people to be wearing light layers and shorts. But now it was nearing early evening and the crowds were beginning to thin out.
“I can’t do it,” Wille muttered, kicking a stray that he found on the ground.
“Why not?” Maddie asked, words sounding muffled around the mouthful of bread she bought from the baking club.
“You both know exactly why .” His wary eyes followed the long line practically wrapping around itself that spread out from the acappella club booth. He couldn’t see Simon but he had caught a glimpse of him earlier and nearly died at the sight of his very tight, very sheer top and his pants that were so tight they could hardly classify as pants (not that Wille was complaining). He was dressed to impress and Wille didn’t need to see him kiss strangers to feel his heart breaking.
“You know what?” Felice stomped her foot, “No!”
“No?” Wille asked, hopeful that she was finally going to admit how dumb this idea was.
“ No ,” Felice smiled sharply, “you are no longer allowed to feel bad for yourself. You are going to get your ass on that line before it’s done, or so help me, Wilhelm Fredrik Bernadette,” “Ooh, she pulled out the full name.” “I will tell your brother that you’re the one who broke his frog prince snow globe.”
“You wouldn’t!” Wille gasped.
Felice smirked, baring her teeth at him, “ Try me .”
A short silence enveloped them, filled only by Maddie’s quiet hums of pleasure as she ate bite after bite of her bread. Wille caved, sucking his teeth and throwing his head back in a groan.
“Fine. But if this all blows up in my face, both of you are going to rewatch every single episode of Glee with me and you aren’t allowed to complain when I sing along. Got it?”
“ Deal .” They shook hands.
Willhelm squared his shoulders, turned around and marched to the end of the kissing booth line. As the line moved forward at a snail's pace, he couldn’t help but spiral over what he was about to do. It felt wrong, in more than one way, that the first (and likely only ) time he would kiss Simon, he would paying him to do so. He’d always imagined their kisses to be more…intimate, sweet if he so dared to say. He imagined them after a date and on Simon’s doorstep or in the music room on the piano bench together or laughing into it as they hid from their friends. Never had Wille imagined it would be after Simon has kissed who knows how many other people (no slut shaming here!). It was beyond depressing. And yet, he couldn’t find it within himself to get out of the line, belatedly noticing that he was the last person on said line.
Wille's self deprecating thoughts distracted him until he was about 30 people away. He finally laid his eyes on Simon and, to be quite honest, he was considering suing the other boy because there’s no way in hell he should be allowed to walk around looking like a wet dream and a safety hazard all wrapped up in one. He was smiling at the boy in front of him, chatting with him as he took the bill from his hand before leaning forward to give him a short peck on the lips.
Oh. Oh . Oh, Wille is a massive idiot.
He had, for some unknown reason, imagined Simon had spent all day making out with random people. Turns out, Wille is dumb and he isn’t sure how to feel about it. Better, probably. Yeah, definitely better.
Before he knew it, there was only one person in front of him and he forced himself to stay calm, wiping his sweaty palms over his jeans as a distraction. The girl in front of him was spending an inordinate amount of time talking to Simon, making him laugh like that’s what they were there for.
“This must be exhausting. I can’t imagine kissing this many people.”
He watched in rapt attention as Simon shrugged cutely, “It hasn’t been too bad. There have been a few…overzealous, let’s say, patrons, but everyone has been chill for the most part. Plus, I’d never turn down an opportunity to help the club.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s fair. But,” she said (and now she was really getting on Wille's nerves), “there must be someone you’ve been wanting to kiss. Have they stopped by?”
Simon hummed thoughtfully, eyes straying from the girl only to land on Wille. The blonde watched as Simon’s eyes widened just a fraction, imperceptible to the untrained eye. He turned back to the girl after a moment, smiling wide. “Not yet, but today might be my lucky day.”
The girl glanced back at Wille, a look too knowing for someone Wille didn’t recognize. She turned back, handed Simon the bill and kissed his cheek. “I hope it is!” And with that she walked off, leaving only Wille, Simon, and a tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.
“Hi, Wille,” Simon broke the silence, smiling at him almost shyly. It was odd to be on the other end of this look, and yet not unfamiliar. Simon was looking at him like he had that night. But that couldn’t be right, right?
“Hey,” Wille attempted to smile back, pushing his hair out of his face just for something to do. He could feel his heart racing, could practically feel it in his throat. “Wait, you know my name?”
“Um yeah,” the brunette started, glancing down at the table and looking back up at Wille under his lashes, “We met at that party a couple years ago? The one that got crashed by the police?”
“No, yeah, I remember the party,” Wille mumbled, “I just, I didn’t get to tell you my name.”
“Oh,” Simon nodded like that made sense, “Yeah. I kind of asked around afterwards? Um, your friend, Felice I think it was? She told me your name a couple weeks after the party.”
That bitch, Wille thought, though it was severely lacking venom since he couldn’t think about much beyond the blushing boy in front of him.
“Oh,” he paused, contemplating his next words, “I asked about you too.”
“You did?”
Wille nodded, now it was his turn to avert his gaze, eyes landing on a point just over Simon’s shoulder. “Yeah. You’re kind of hard to miss, though, so it didn’t take long.”
The singer laughed self consciously. “Why-“ he cut himself off, blush darkening, “why didn’t you come and talk to me then?” His eyes were so earnest and if Wille were a weaker man than he already was, he would be a puddle on the floor by now.
“I, uh, didn’t think you’d be interested in talking to someone like me.”
“Like you?” Simon tilted his head like a confused puppy ( god have mercy ).
“Mhm.”
“Well,” Simon said, losing some of his previous shyness and replacing it with the usual confidence, “I happen to think you’re pretty cool.”
“M-me?”
“Yup. You painted that huge mural outside of the pottery studios, right?” Wille nodded. It was a paid gig so not particularly noble. “And you're the one who helped that first year put out the fire in the cafeteria?” A nod. And okay, that had been out of necessity. “You also advocated for the school to spend more of the annual budget on fixing the heating and cooling systems after a group of dancers fainted from heatstroke last year.” Nod. Admittedly, that was something Wille was very proud of but he hadn’t been aware other people knew about. It was a private meeting but word got out. “Not to mention you’re really cute and nice.”
“If by cute you mean awkward, then yeah, I guess so,” Wille muttered self-deprecatingly.
Simon vehemently shook his head. “No, I mean cute. And handsome. I’ve had a crush on you for the better part of three years.”
Silence. Simon’s eyes widened.
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that. I did not mean to say that,” the singer groaned to himself, making to turn and walk away.
Before he could think about it, Wille hand shot out to grab Simon’s wrist before he could leave. This was his chance and he’d be damned if he didn’t seize it. Taking a deep breath and putting on his brave face, he started speaking.
“I’ve had a crush on you since the night we met. Honestly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you and it’s been driving me absolutely spare. Ask my friends, they’ll tell you that I haven't stopped gushing about you since then.” Simon remained silent but he was back to fully facing Wille, watching him cautiously. “The reason I haven’t done anything about it is because… quite frankly, you’re out of my league.”
“Out of your league?” Simon laughed incredulously. “Wille, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Ask my friends and they’ll tell you just how far gone I am about you. I’m surprised they haven’t found a way to lock us in a room together and force me to confess my feelings.”
“So,” Wille said after a moment of silence. As he opened his mouth to respond, a voice behind him interrupted.
“Uh, this is sweet and whatever, but are you going to kiss him? The rest of us are kind of waiting.”
The duo turned around to find that, indeed, there was a large group of people standing there watching them with varying degrees of annoyance on their faces. Wille blushed, embarrassed that all these people were witnesses to their moment. He glanced at Simon who smiled at him mischievously.
“Well, shall we?”
Wille barely had time to register the words before Simon placed his gentle hands around his face and pulled him into the most perfect, most brain melting kiss to ever kiss. His wide eyes gradually shut as he let himself experience the moment.
Now, Wille has kissed his fair share of people, mostly drunken hookups and awkward high school crushes. But none of those kisses could match up to the sheer ecstasy he was experiencing. Simon’s lips were just as soft as he had imagined, and tasted faintly of vanilla. He easily allowed the boy to slip his tongue into the mix, his hands finally functional enough to grab Simon’s waist as the brunette leaned over the table to get a better angle. The kiss was sweet and soft, with just a hint of passion that came from years of seemingly unrequited affection. It was perfect.
Wille finally had to pull away for air, eyes hazily tracking the line of spit connecting their mouths as they pulled back to stare into one another’s eyes.
“Go Wille!” The scream echoed throughout the courtyard. He didn’t need to look to know it was Maddie who had screamed and he groaned, shoving his face into Simon’s shoulder (because he was allowed to do that now).
“Please kill me.”
“Absolutely not. I just got you,” Simon whispered, placing a sweet kiss on his neck.
He felt Simon pull back just slightly to address the crowd. “Sorry folks, this booth is no longer running. Better luck next time.”
The group grumbled but easily dispersed as Wille’s best friends rushed over. Felice looked far too smug for his liking.
“Don’t say it,” Wille held a warning hand up.
“Fine,” she shrugged, “I don’t need to say it to know I’m right.”
“And there it is,” Wille rolled his eyes. His eyes fell back upon Simon who was watching the exchange with a wide smile. Wille wasn’t sure he was going to survive for much longer.
“Want to get out of here?” The singer asked, eyes hopeful as he bit his bruised lip.
Wille tracked the movement, nodding absentmindedly, “Please.” Fucking hell .
Simon’s echoing giggle was worth the embarrassment and the unsubtle exchange of money from Felice’s hands to Maddie’s. And as his friend? boyfriend? pal who he now kissed? pulled him up and away from the booth, into a future he would’ve never imagined, he couldn’t help but feel like he needed to amend the list.
Four — Simon Eriksson had an equally embarrassing crush on Wille as he did on him. Plus, the concept of leagues is dumb anyway.