Restless Nights

by whimsicalAtlas

Summary:

It's Deadlock and Fade. That's it, that's all I'm gonna say. (I have no idea where this story is gonna go)

Chapter 1: Moonlight

Summary:

A new agent graces the halls of Valorant’s HQ. Welcome parties are usually hosted for new agents that arrive, but this particular agent has decided against it, wanting to merely slip into HQ and get on with life. Perhaps arriving at an unholy hour of the night would stave off any uncomfortable small talk, but someone is always up at this time. And luck would have it, the new agent bumps into her on the way to her room.

Notes:

h e l l o
i’m back

it’s been a while, but i’ve been itching to write for quite some time now. a different ship now,, and my favourite one at that. i can’t be sure that it won’t be as messy as the previous ones, but i’ll try my best.

also i decided to start writing this at the worst time possible - my semester break (i’m going into year 2 of poly, wish me luck) is going to be over in less than a week and i doubt i’d have time to regularly update. STILL, i’ll try my best because writing is fun (and i like typing, it’s fun too)

i’m going into this with no idea where i want to take it, but i assure you there will be fluff, there will be angst and perhaps… other things :> and once again, this may not be accurate to the lore, i’m just writing for the hell of it. I would do an au, but i’m honestly too lazy to create a whole other universe for them.

aaaaaand, do note that clove is in this,, just pretend that they came before deadlock. don’t think they’ll show up often, but just pretend deadlock is the latest agent for the sake of this :P

either way, enough rambling, here’s the first chapter of this uh… thing. yeah. i hope you like it !

[If you skipped all that, one simple takeaway is that I am horrendous when it comes to keeping up with the lore, so please, excuse the inaccuracies :>]

Let me paint you a picture - well, not really a picture, more of a child’s drawing if you will, either way - no sun, no sound, no people. 

There, can you see the picture? The wobbly scribbles and the horrible choice of colours? I think you can practically smell and feel the crayon crumbs on the paper. 

But enough of that, let me actually tell you where we’re at.

Tonight we’re joined by Valorant’s resident insomniac, coffee lover and cat hoarder - Fade, or if you prefer her actual name (according to the Wiki), Hazal Eyletmez. Where is she? She’s in one of the many gardens that the HQ has. One that houses a view of the ocean for agents to gleam over. 

NIghtmares are haunting her again. As they always do. It has rendered her sleepless. Gummies promising a good night’s rest have failed her, soothing tea that she has brewed over and over again in hopes of finally falling into a deep slumber, has been soothing for her throat but not her mind. 

Alas, she’s given up. Sage has been trying to find a solution for her, but it seems that even the resident healer in the Protocol has no idea how to help the poor soul. So, instead of wallowing in bed, she has decided to down coffee like there’s no tomorrow, and wallow in the gardens. The view is nicer after all, the plain ceiling of her room can only be so entertaining to stare at for so long. 

Of course with caffeine comes nicotine. It isn’t an uncommon pairing. At least, not in my opinion. With a gentle thud on the glass table, Fade walks over to the railing, throwing her forearms over it. After a brief pause - for dramatic and cinematic purposes of course - she reaches back down into her pockets to feel for the cigarette box and a lighter. 

Cut to: a woman, Norwegian, sporting a puffy jacket, combat pants - if that makes sense - and… oh yes, and a missing arm. A duffel bag hangs loosely from the grip of her right hand as she strolls down the dimly lit halls of the HQ. It’s dead quiet and she’s slightly paranoid. 

Seems homely. Now, where the fuck is my room?... 

The lady places her bag down and takes her phone out of her pocket, fishing through her email inbox to find the one that tells her where her room is. 

“Huh… a left down this corridor, then all the way at the end?” 

Her mutterings are obviously for herself only, as she tucks the phone away and picks up her bag again, venturing down the hallway. Her boots collide with the cold surface of the floor as she continues to make her way (downtown) to her room, where she could finally get a good night’s rest - a blessing that someone wishes they had. 

The winding hallways do not help the new agent in getting to her room, and she winds up right outside a garden. Curious. She looks through the entrance, and sees.. a woman, wearing a dark grey, long sleeved top with some tears on the sleeves, as well as a pair of pants that hug her legs. 

Deadlock stares slightly, the moonlight somehow making the lady look mystical, mysterious, angelic , even. Her eyes glaze over the figure, as she just stands there, taking puff after puff from her little nicotine filled friend. Completely locked into this moment, Deadlock can’t pry her eyes off of her. 

Stop staring, come on! 

It’s no use, her eyes remain trapped in this cycle of examining every inch of this person. Then, as if her mouth had a mind of its own, she speaks out. 

“I suppose you’re an agent here?”

The moment those words spewed out of her mouth, she realised how stupid they sound. 

“Uh, no, I broke in 5 minutes ago and have intentions of blowing this place up. I’m just taking a smoke break so that someone like you, can catch me swiftly in the act and call the appropriate authorities.” 

Her voice is laced with sarcasm as her eyes don’t even bother to look at Deadlock. The latter sighs and walks towards her, placing her duffel bag down gently on a bench. She leans on the railing with her one good arm and takes a gander at Fade’s face. 

Love struck. Okay well, maybe not love struck, but hey, she felt something . 

She studies the piercing on her nose, the ones just beneath her lower lip. Though Deadlock’s expression remains as stoic as a rock, her insides are trying their best not to go into overdrive. Fade continues to stare out into the open night, quietly enjoying the peace. She doesn’t seem to be waiting for an answer from this person that she hasn’t even batted an eye to. 

The pair sit- well, stand, in an uncomfortable and awkward silence as Deadlock tries to come up with something to say. Far too much time has passed for her to respond to the witty remark that Fade made earlier about being an intruder. 

“Missing an arm?” 

The question snaps Deadlock out of her daze as she looks down. She swallows, and straightens herself up. 

“Is it noticeable?” 

Fade lets out a puff of air and the slightest hint of a smile forms on her lips just for a moment. Even so, Deadlock savoured the moment, as one begins to form on her own lips. 

“Rather.” 

Finally, Fade turns to look at Deadlock, and is immediately caught off guard. The puffy jacket just makes her look like a giant marshmallow. A giant pillow that Fade wouldn’t mind hugging to sleep - if she could sleep that was. 

The strands of her blonde hair sway as the sea breeze blows past both of them. Though it made her more encapsulated by the woman, Fade is faster to snap out of her own subtle staring. 

“You’re the new agent, Deadlock… right?” 

As if she was waiting for this question, Deadlock nods eagerly. Perhaps, a little too eagerly. Fade squints slightly and notices that there was a tad too much enthusiasm behind that nod. 

“I’m Fade. Don’t ask why I’m up at such a time. I could ask you why you’re coming into HQ at such a time.”

She turns back to lean on the railing again, continuing to smoke. Now would be a great time for introductory banter, but the both of them are too preoccupied with existing thoughts to even fathom talking to the other party. 

Deadlock shifts slightly, and when she’s finally able to pull her eyes and attention away from Fade, she remembers that she has a room to unpack in. With swift steps, she grabs her duffel bag. Her movements don’t go unnoticed, as Fade’s body turns once she sees Deadlock reaching for her bag. 

“Leaving already?” 

The words hit Deadlock as she freezes and moves to look back up at Fade. 

“Well- I need to unpack. I just…” She sighs. “I don’t know where my room is. It’s… kind of confusing, the place.” 

“And you need help?” 

“Yeah. Do you mind? Helping me, of course.” 

WIth one more puff, she flicks the cigarette, and dumps it in the ashtray. 

“Alright. Why not. I’m up anyway.”

“Cool. Cool. Thanks.”

Notes:

apologies for any inaccuracies, i'm dumb :p

hope you liked the first chp and i'll get around to writing the second soon, stay safe :]

Chapter 2: Company

Summary:

Deadlock has an appointment with Killjoy, to fix her up with a new arm. Though it is none of Fade’s concern, she finds herself watching intently as Killjoy fits the prosthetic onto her colleague. Maybe a little too intently.

Notes:

of course the moment i start writing i immediately get writer’s block that’s what i get for not planning where i want this to go

I see you’re back for another picture. The only question I ask is why. 

Either way, today’s picture is different, as you would assume. It wouldn’t make sense for me to tell you the same tale twice. Now, close your eyes and imagine this scene: an engineer’s workplace. Within the HQ. 

What do you see? Well, you see everyone’s favourite tinkerer hunched over her work desk, analysing and running through schematics for Deadlock’s new arm. Tools are strewn about, broken and overused pencils tossed aside as bolts and screws decorate the floor, such a hazard. 

Unfortunately, a clean up would only occur once Killjoy was done with her current project. So, I fear, the state of her room will remain as it is for now - something that would make my mother skin me from head to toe, but I digress. 

On the other side of the door, Deadlock groans, really dreading this ‘appointment’. She thought it was the end of the night, when she had finished unpacking her stuff. Fade had helped her, but disappeared soon after Deadlock had told her she had other things to deal with as well. Seems like one unpacking session is enough for her. 

Her right hand drags itself down her face, before swiftly moving over to the door, giving it 3 depressing raps. As if triggered by noise, Killjoy snaps to attention and opens the door, it whooshing open as Deadlock stands in front of her. 

“Ah! Deadlock! Come in, come in please. I totally forgot that you were coming into HQ today!” 

She chuckles to herself and rubs her forehead. Slightly nervous about making a bad first impression, she promptly slides back into her gaming chair and grabs the prosthetic. She spins around and faces Deadlock again, a stoic look on the latter’s face as she looks forward to just getting this over and done with. 

“Here it is! It just needs a little more work.”

Deadlock bobs her head up and down, sighing softly to herself as Killjoy moves back to working on the arm, just touching it up a little.

A thought strikes Deadlock’s mind. Perhaps some small talk wouldn’t hurt. Besides, she’d have to work with these people when they go on missions, so why not start on a friendly note? It can’t be that bad to have friends, right? 

“It seems like everyone in this Protocol’s an insomniac.” 

A keen observation anyone could’ve made. 

“Hm-? Oh- Well, I beg to differ.” 

With a chortle, Killjoy pushes up her glasses as Deadlock shoots her a questioning look, inviting her to elaborate further. The engineer merely points in the direction of her subdued girlfriend, who’s been taking a ‘nap’. 

Deadlock follows the direction of her finger, and bobs her head up once she sees that Killjoy has proven her wrong, not everyone in this facility burns the midnight oil. 

“And… she is?...” 

Raising an eyebrow, Deadlock points to Raze, who is most definitely in deep slumber, considering how she’s drooling all over the couch, one arm dangling from it while one leg rests atop it. For a moment, she seems to mumble an incoherent word, before flipping over, back facing Deadlock now. 

As hard as she’s trying her best not to pass judgement, Deadlock can’t help but find this a little amusing. 

“She is Raze! Uh… demolitions expert, I suppose you could call her.” 

The last line was a mutter, but Deadlock caught it. Killjoy shrugs and gets back to fine tuning the arm, and Deadlock merely gives a small awkward smile. A few moments of silence passes by, before it’s broken by some soft taps on Killjoy’s door. Surprised, the engineer moves to the door, not expecting anyone else apart from Deadlock. 

With one single press of a button, Fade is revealed to be standing on the other side, still holding a cup of coffee. She somehow manages to seem awake and sleepy at the same time, something Deadlock can’t wrap her head around. Maybe because there’s something else she can’t wrap her head around. 

“Fade? Wh-what are you doing here?” 

Killjoy stutters a little, turning around to see if Deadlock sees Fade too, or if she’s just hallucinating because she forgot to sleep again. 

“Well-” 

The lack of words that follow shocks all 3 of them, as much as it shocks Fade herself. Her mouth hangs open, her face giving the impression that she had more things to say. 

Deadlock raises an eyebrow at the agent, curious as to why Fade’s here as well. Did she also have a prosthetic limb fitting? Or is she here to see Killjoy for something else? No, no, they don’t seem like the kind to mix. Killjoy is wearing awfully bright colours like some kid, whereas Fade is wearing… funeral-like clothes. 

“I uh… heard you were doing something for the new agent and…”

Her eyes dart around the room, as if its messy state would help provide an answer - or rather an excuse - as to why she’s here. Needless to say, it doesn’t help, not even one bit. 

Say something, anything! 

She urges her brain to formulate any sentence it can think of, but none come to mind. (Get it? Brain, mind?) Coffee cup in hand, she remains silent, and her face is just blank at this point. 

“Well- you’re welcome to come in, or… just stand there with your coffee too, that’s fine.” 

Killjoy shrugs and turns her attention back to the arm, in which Deadlock takes this moment to glance over at Fade, wondering if her brain short-circuited. There was something going on here, but just to create tension - and lengthen this story - Deadlock obviously didn’t pick up on it, thinking that perhaps Killjoy and Fade were indeed friends. Even though her observations have told her otherwise. 

But they always say, don’t judge a book by its cover. 

After being in this ‘trance-like’ state, I guess you could say, Fade eventually moves into the room, leaning on the wall and trying to act as if nothing just transpired in the last 5 minutes. She takes a sip from her coffee and tries to avert her gaze from Deadlock. 

The two of them just idle there, waiting in silence as the engineer continued to make final touches on the arm. Soft tinkering and screwing could be heard, but I’m sure their brains were too busy to focus on such minute things. 

“Alright! It’s ready.”

With a bright smile, Killjoy brings the arm over to Deadlock and tries to fit it on. Seeing how the latter is now distracted, Fade takes this opportunity to study her face. 

She notices how defined her face is, her jaw was sharp enough to cut glass. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the 4 freckles on her face, noting how they’re positioned nicely in a diamond like formation. 

She sure is as stunning as a diamond. 

Coffee almost shoots out of her nose when she finds herself thinking that, mentally slapping herself. But then again, she couldn’t help but agree with that thought. The lighting in Killjoy’s room highlighted Deadlock’s cheekbones. Her mind painted the mental image of her kissing all over her face, gently pressing her lips against every inch of skin that she could find. As fast as that image popped up in her mind, Fade made sure it was dumped right out. However, Fade soon finds herself lured by her piercing but yet inviting blue eyes. 

She could tell that those eyes held sorrows behind them. It was something she was an expert at detecting. Eyes are the windows to the soul, they say, and in this moment right then and there, Fade could not agree more. 

It’s as if a simple look at her eyes was enough to tell Fade everything about Deadlock, and it felt like she had already known her, and I would even go as far as to say that she felt as if they were soulmates in a different lifetime. 

Perhaps, it was the coffee and the sleepless nights that were talking. After all, aren’t we all delusional? (I definitely am.) 

Notes:

i eepy, i sleb

hope you enjoyed, stay safe :]

Chapter 3: Admiration

Summary:

The pair are still in Killjoy’s workshop, waiting for the tinkerer to fix up Deadlock’s arm as she finishes some final calibrations. Fade is utterly aware of how she’s starting to stare and observe every detail of Deadlock, and she has to try her best to keep that at bay.

Notes:

school has started if i dont post it’s because i am dead (im joking i will try to post every now and then when i have spare time)

if my writings don't make sense it's bc a majority of this was written while i was half awake

This narrator thing is getting tiresome, honestly. But I like doing this, talking to you as if I was telling you a fabled tale, like a grandma. 

Only that I am far from being a grandma, though my joints and back would beg to differ. (It’s what I get for carrying a gaming laptop to school everyday) 

I’m sure you’re sick of this dilly dally, let’s just move on to see how Deadlock and Fade are dealing with their very obvious feelings for each other. 

Stoned, Fade’s expression was priceless. She had caught herself in the act of leering at someone. Okay, not leering. She was looking as respectfully as she could. She was admiring her fellow agent’s appearance. 

I’m not going into detail about the whole, putting on Deadlock’s arm thing - that’s because I can’t, I’m a design student, not an engineer, I don’t know how this shit works - all you need to know is that it went smoothly, and Deadlock is happy. (Yippee)

Deadlock looks at the arm, a small and pleased smile spreading across her face. Finally, she had her arm back. It was a vexing thing, to suddenly lose a limb like that. But now, it was back and she couldn’t fight against the huge overwhelming feeling of being whole again. (Maybe this is a little exaggerated, but you get what I mean)

Though she knew that she should display her gratitude towards the engineer, but her just having her arm back was distracting her so much. She kept turning it round and round, moving her fingers as she did that and just staring at how they wiggled around. 

Fade seems to notice how delighted Deadlock seems at the arm, and an unwarranted sense of warmth floods her veins, making her feel all fuzzy and weird inside. She can’t remember the last time she had such a feeling, less so for someone else. So why was she feeling a sense of happiness for Deadlock, someone whom she has barely known for a day? 

The pure glee and joy on Deadlock’s face was enough to make Fade feel happy as well. She’s brimming with this sensation, of feeling someone else’s glee. As obvious as it is, she doesn’t seem like the type to be that happy for others. 

But something’s different about this feeling. When she sees the smile that has spread across Deadlock’s face, she can’t help but feel at ease, like she’s relieved that Deadlock is happy. 

Dear Lord, maybe I should lay off the coffee. 

She recoils slightly from the mug, before going in and taking another slip. 

“Thank you, for your work. I really.. uh… appreciate it… yes.”

Deadlock speaks to Killjoy awkwardly as she looks her in the eyes. It’s hard for her to express just how much she appreciates this. The engineer laughs out, nodding her head as she hears Deadlock’s thanks. 

“It’s nothing of course! Thank you for giving me something to do.” She lets out a few more chuckles. “I was going crazy.” Silence. Then, realisation hits. “And… I have nothing to do once again.” 

Killjoy slumps over her table and sighs while Deadlock and Fade just stare at the engineer, unsure of whether they should give her a pat on the back, or awkwardly remove themselves from the room as she wallowed in this newfound ‘freedom’. 

The pair obviously chose the latter, quietly sliding out of the room and shutting the door behind them. 

Out in the hall, the pair realise that they’re alone, together, with this weird energy encapsulating them. Fade clears her throat and takes a sip from her mug, hoping the drink could help her speak. But after the cup left her lips, she had nothing to say, and no idea what to do next. 

Please god just say something, this is getting so uncomfortably awkward. 

Though, she didn’t mind the fact that it was awkward, she just honestly wanted to be around Deadlock and hanging out with her. That obviously isn’t a sign of attraction, she just wants to be friends. (I mean like in all seriousness, this doesn’t indicate romantic interest :p)

Deadlock’s mouth opens and Fade snaps to attention, relieved that someone was finally going to say something. But instead of words, a yawn comes out and Deadlock stretches, letting out some groans. 

“I’m uh… going to sleep. It’s late and I have some things to sort through tomorrow.” 

Her words sounded a little like she was trying to escape this interaction, and Fade picked up on it. Slightly dejected, she tries her best to push the feeling aside. With no more words exchanged except for simple ‘goodbye’s, the two part ways. 

It’s needless to say that both of them had wished that the interaction lasted longer than it did. Ultimately, it was Deadlock who pulled the plug, but she didn’t want to. She had to. Poor woman had to wake up at 8 the next morning and all this unpacking nonsense coupled with the unexpected gay falling in love and the fitting of her arm had thrown a wrench into her time management, and it’s now… 5 am. 

Fuck, did it sound like I was trying to remove myself from the situation?? 

Deadlock mentally slaps herself. The more she replays that scene in her mind, the more she wishes she could just rewind time and take a different approach to it. But then again, when we’re caught up in the moment, we all say stupid shit, right? 

Things don’t come out correctly, and we end up making fools of ourselves. No, you’re not getting a personal anecdote from me. (Not as if you want one anyways.)

Stuck in the never ending cycle of overthinking every single word you said in a conversation that you can never salvage, Deadlock wanders down the halls and eventually finds herself lost. She is new to HQ after all, and no one was kind enough to offer her a tour of the facility. 

Amazing job, Iselin. You’ve gotten yourself lost. 

An annoyed and low groan rumbles from Deadlock’s throat as she sighs loudly and leans against the wall, before eventually picking herself up and trying to retrace her steps. 

*In the narrator from Spongebob’s voice* The next day.

It’s a peaceful morning at the HQ, sun shining, birds chirping, the sound of duelists strangling each other whilst the others cheer on and take videos because someone took someone else’s cereal box and wouldn’t return it, and Brimstone sighing loudly as he watches from the cafeteria door. 

Alright, maybe that was a lie, it isn’t a peaceful morning in the Valorant HQ. There never is peace in the HQ. Something’s always going on. 

Deadlock has had her share of short nights. As we all do, I know I’ve stayed up till 3 am on a school night to finish a colouring sword for an assignment- it isn’t important I’m not writing an autobiography. 

But this time it was different. She was in bed, eyes barely open as she tells herself to breathe. It was as if her mind had disconnected from her body, and the bluetooth wasn’t functioning anymore. 

Knowing she has to get up, she forces herself to move, sitting up on her bed before letting out one huge sigh, dragging her feet to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

Several close calls to slipping in the shower and putting on the wrong clothes later, she was out of her room and walking towards the cafeteria - which she had 0 idea where it was located. 

This time, she was smart enough to realise that there were signs hanging from the ceiling, telling her where places were. 

That would’ve been more helpful last night. 

She sets foot in the cafeteria, and her eyes tiredly scans the floor as she’s greeted with the sights of Brimstone pulling Jett and Neon apart, Phoenix getting chased by Yoru for stealing his comb, Clove, Gekko and Iso sitting next to the duelists, giggling at their antics, Raze and Killjoy seemingly on a date (at breakfast), and the list goes on. 

It was surprising to Deadlock that everyone was awake at this hour, and even more bemusing that everyone seemed so refreshed and alive. Maybe that’s because they had more than 3 hours worth of sleep. 

In spite of all the chaos that was around her, Deadlock seems to go unnoticed as she walks swiftly to a table in the far corner of the cafeteria, grateful that everyone was too preoccupied. The woman slumps onto the table, exhausted as she closes her eyes. 

When she opens them again, she’s greeted with the sight of a coffee mug in front of her, and a woman sitting next to her. Can you guess who? I think it’s pretty obvious. 

“You look like shit.”

Flattering one, Fade. 

“Thanks, you too.”

The retort was too fast for Deadlock to even register that she had said it. She didn’t even notice that it was Fade who was talking to her. 

Fade lets out a very soft chuckle as she sees the state that Deadlock’s in. She herself didn’t get any sleep last night, and her fellow agent who slept 3 whole hours was over here, knocked out on a table in the cafeteria. The temptation to just reach over and ruffle her hair or stroke it was hard to beat. 

Don’t be weird, don’t be weird, don’t be weird. 

She eventually sighs and continues to indulge in her breakfast - a cup of coffee. Her eyes are unable to look away from Deadlock, who’s still on the table, sleeping. Even when she sleeps, she somehow still looks fascinating. I wish I could say the same for myself. 

Man, Fade was really enchanted by Deadlock, and I think this is going further than admiration for her looks. 

Notes:

sorry for the short chapter and a long wait,, got caught up in school work and sleepiness ;-;

anyways, thank you for reading, stay safe :]

Chapter 4: A Cup of Coffee for Your Thoughts?

Summary:

Sitting at a table during breakfast, alone in a corner together, Deadlock and Fade start having a 'proper conversation', as they try to grapple with their thoughts.

Notes:

topology in 3d classes are killing me slowly like i’m sorry but im trying my best with all the stupid tris

anygays, apologies for the short chapter, most of my creativity is being used to generate a million different ideas for my modules ;-;
enjoy :D

You remember where we left off right? 

No? Goldfish memory huh? It’s okay, we all have short term memory loss and even worse attention span, so I don’t blame you. (I blame the Internet.) 

Either way, let me help you out. Last we left it, Fade and Deadlock were at the cafeteria, sitting in one of the booths in the corner. Deadlock has passed out due to the lack of sleep, and Fade is just watching on, wondering what’s going on in her colleague’s mind as she slumbers. 

Okay, let’s delve in now that you’re all caught up. 

Hm… 

The Turkish agent squints her eyes as she stares into her mug, looking at the beverage as she wonders if she should wake Deadlock up. The latter did say that she had important things to do, but at the same time, the poor woman looks so tired. 

After a little contemplation with the coffee sat in front of her face, Fade decides to tap Deadlock gently on the shoulder, Her fingers delicately land themselves on Deadlock’s exposed shoulder, the skin feeling soft underneath her touch. Fade could feel her fingers tingle with excitement as she lightly grazed Deadlock’s skin, but she was aware to not linger for too long, though she really liked the feeling. 

Her hand eventually grips her fellow agent’s shoulder, shaking her slightly to jolt her awake. 

Honey, you’re gonna be late for work. 

Was what she wanted to say, if they were in an 80s sitcom. 

“Hey, you said you had things to do today, no?” 

Deadlock snaps to attention as she looks through half-lidded eyes at Fade. After she notices that it’s Fade who woke her up, she takes initiative to straighten up her back and look alert and ready. She wanted to look presentable. I wonder why. 

“R-right. Right, yes.”

Needless to say, she fumbled with her words and her posture breaks as she leans on the table. Fade pushes the coffee she had gotten her closer to Deadlock, the aroma filling Deadlock’s nose almost immediately. 

“Take a sip, it’ll help.”

“Does it help you?”

“Not one bit. I just like the taste.” 

“Okay?...” 

Deadlock gives Fade a questionable look before looking at the coffee in front of her. 

“Thanks.”

The word shoots out of her mouth, and Fade simply nods, eyes on Deadlock. Silence settles in like an uncomfortable third wheel as they just look at the table, then at each other, then at other agents, then at their surroundings, and then, rinse and repeat. 

My god… this has to be the most awkward situation I’ve been in. 

Fade looks away in discomfort and uses her mug to cover her face as she pretends to take a sip. Deadlock does the same, the coffee helping to re-energise her - somewhat. 

Deadlock fiddles with the cup, her mechanical arm catching the attention of Fade as she suddenly perks up, finally finding something to talk about. 

“Your arm.” 

Her face immediately scrunches up as she realises how weird it was to just say that. Sounded offensive, to be honest. 

“What about… my arm?” 

Luckily for Fade, Deadlock didn’t seem offended at the random statement. 

“How.. does it…” Her lips fold inwards as she recoils from the table and into the chair. “Feel?” 

You shouldn’t have said anything, the silence was less antagonising than this. 

Deadlock opens her mouth and takes a breath, both hands firmly wrapped around the mug as she straightens up her back once more before slouching back down as she exhales. 

“Good.” Her jaw tenses and a beat of silence follows before she spits out other words to follow up. “Feels like I have an arm again.” 

Well no fucking shit, Iselin. 

The conversation stops there, Fade having no idea how to continue on with a line like that. She simply nods her head and rocks slightly in her chair, eyes smoothly running across the table and her brain trying to churn out any conversation topic. 

They stew in ass clenching, teeth grinding, fingers-digging-into-palms type of unsettling silence. Deadlock purses her lips, and eventually remembers that she has to settle some administrative things with Brimstone, and takes her leave. But of course, not before she waves goodbye to Fade and excuses herself, thanking her for the coffee and the ‘chat’. 

“Yeah I’ll… I’ll see you around.”

Fade’s voice has a hint of disappointment once again, seeing Deadlock leave a conversation - even though it was clear that there was no conversation going on - early, was enough to make her slightly upset. 

Pull yourself together, there are more important things to focus on. 

She sucks in the air around her and feels their coldness fill her lungs and stands up, hands pressing against the table, turning her body and picking up her cup, and walking away from the table.

The walk back to her room is a quiet one - well, I didn’t have to point that out, she was quite literally alone - but I guess it wasn’t quiet in her brain. 

Thoughts rapidly ran through her mind, scrambling around like unsupervised toddlers at a playground. She tries to slow down her thoughts, she tries to organise them properly, but they don’t seem to stop. She’s flooded with thoughts of Deadlock and how their conversation ended, what her body language was like, what tone she spoke in, what expression her face had, the list goes on. 

The last time, it was Deadlock who was over analysing the exchange, but this time I fear it is Fade’s turn. 

Ugh, I wish I could just switch off my brain for a while sometimes. 

Alas, she was in her room, and she settled down at her work desk with some reports awaiting her arrival. It seems like whatever yearning she had, had to be put aside for now and left alone. There was a more important reason as to why she’s at Valorant anyways, and she doesn’t need anything to side track her. 

Notes:

can i shamelessly plug my twitter here
https://x.com/zelastmilkshake
i draw gays there, mostly these two gays im writing about here

blehhh shameless promotion over, rem to stay safe and take care of yourselves ! i'm sick :p

Chapter 5: Misread

Summary:

We all misread certain signals and signs from time to time. Perhaps especially when it comes to signals indicating romantic interest from another person. Well, you’ll get to see it firsthand here… in this fictional world.

Notes:

hope you’re all having a great day :D my year is packed w stuff,, going to a live Bluey show in June (yes i know), a possible overseas trip organised by my sch in oct AND, tate mcrae decided to do a show in my country in oct and i managed to get tickets B) AND AND, conan gray in sept

okay happi rambling over, enjoy the chp :]

Huh, the summary kind of stole what I was gonna say. That’s just rude, in my opinion. 

Honestly I can’t tell if this narrator thing is annoying or enjoyable for you. On one hand, it’s like I’ve said before, it’s as if I’m literally talking to you. On the other hand, it drags the introduction to every chapter on. 

Eh, you could always just skip this part, but where’s the fun in that? It gives me personality. And everyone who knows me in real life would say that I lack personality. 

Anyway! Moving on please. 

Today we see Deadlock, wrapping up some talks with Brimstone in his office, her officially becoming an agent of the Protocol. 

“Alright, that settles everything. Welcome aboard, Iselin. Have you managed to make the acquaintance of any agents here already?” 

Deadlock ponders on whether she should tell Brimstone about her enchanting first encounter with the resident night prowler, Fade. But she fears that she might divulge too much about just how enchanting it was. 

Then again, she could just say she met Killjoy only. That would run less of a risk. 

“Yeah, uh.. the engineer? Killjoy, was it?” 

Brimstone nods happily, pleased to hear that Deadlock had at least spoken to someone. 

“Ah, Killjoy. That’s good. I’m not surprised you bumped into her at the time you came to the HQ. She’s known for being up late.”

Just as she’s about to elaborate, Brimstone takes the opportunity to continue. 

“But I am surprised you didn’t run into someone else. She’s known for staying up late too.”

Oh god, don’t say anything stupid please. 

As Deadlock watches Brimstone’s lips form the first letter in slow motion, the name that comes out actually catches her off guard. 

“Viper. You know, the..” He leans in closer as if the scientist can hear their conversation. His eyebrow raises and his eyes look around in trepidation, putting up a hand to cover the side of his mouth as he focuses his gaze back onto Deadlock. The words are a mere whisper. “The crazy scientist lady.”

A chuckle nearly escapes Deadlock’s mouth but she clears her throat and shakes her head. 

“I haven’t met anyone else, really. I saw a few of them at the cafeteria for breakfast, but they seemed preoccupied with their things.”

Brimstone laughs heartily at Deadlock, knowing what she was talking about - the chaos caused by the duelists this morning. 

“Yes yes, the duelists can get rowdy in the morning. They’re a bunch of… high energy… kids. I’m too old to handle them, but no one else will. I feel like a dad whenever I have to-“

The pause mid sentence was brought on when Brimstone saw Deadlock give him a weird look, head slightly recoiled, eyes shooting him a questionable gaze and her body shifting back into the seat. 

Brimstone straightens up his back and clears his throat, looking at Deadlock with a more serious demeanour. 

“Well that settles everything I wanted to talk to you about. You’re free to leave now, and uh.. go have fun. Or something. I dunno.” 

He shrugs and Deadlock nods awkwardly, grabbing some papers and a small handbook before standing up and leaving the old man to his duties.

A couple of hours pass, with Deadlock idling in her room. There’s nothing exciting to talk about really, she just mostly read through the handbook and lounged in her bed. 

“Ugh..” 

The throaty groan leaves Deadlock’s mouth as she flips over in bed and tosses the book aside, stomach side down on her sheets, face resting on her arm. Her eyes tiredly stare at the state of her room. 

Sure, Fade had helped her to unpack, but still, the room lacked personality. It lacked posters, decor, it lacked plushies that you snuggled up with at night, a bedside table to keep… things . 

Another groan escapes from her lips as she takes the time to look at her left arm. 

This feeling of uncertainty slowly crept up on her. Would it be the same? Would it be weird? She would never feel the touch of another on her left arm, she could never inflict the feeling of a soft, delicate finger tracing scars or freckles on another person’s skin. I mean, she has her right arm, so, there’s still some consolation. 

Her eyes keep following the lines on the limb, taking in every inch of metal that was now her arm. She felt the indents, the different textures, the screws beneath her fingers as she traced and traced, as if that would help to ease the pain of losing a limb. 

Her face stiffens, then scrunches up, then, it furrows in agony. The more she fiddles with the arm, the more she’s reminded of why she lost it, how she lost it. The moments replay in her mind, fresh. The bear, the facility, her mates. 

As much as she wishes to erase those memories, she can’t. Every night it comes back to haunt her and taunt her, torturing her and forcing her to relive what was probably the most traumatic event in her life. (If I am canonically wrong I’m sorry)

She rolls back onto her back again, facing the ceiling as she rubs her eyes with the bottom of her palms. A bad decision, rubbing metal into your eyeball. She immediately felt the cold material burrow into her socket, and it was a jolting slap in the face from reality. 

Eyebrows furrowed, she slams her arms down to her sides, letting out a heavy and frustrated sigh. Her eyes dully stare at the lights on her ceiling, as she quietly collects her thoughts and tries to see the good in the situation she’s in right now. 

So there she laid, all the way until dinner time. She had completely missed lunch, having spent her entire afternoon wallowing in her room. 

Then, came an idle knock on her door. 

Who do you think it is? Come on, you know the answer! I swear, it’s really easy!

Deadlock picks herself up, walking over in a tank top and shorts, her hair in a horrid mess. The door swishes open, and the sight that greets her was… shocking. Okay, that made it sound as if it was a horrible sight but it isn't, promise. 

“Hey, you’re the new agent, Deadlock. I’m Neon.” 

Deadlock’s eyes immediately go to her blue hair, the way it’s so bright and vibrant, coupled with yellow streaks that only made her stand out more. Her small stature was somewhat adorable in the sentinel’s eyes. All she wanted to do was grab her and lift her up, but obviously, she fought against the thought. 

“I just wanted to come by and say hi! You didn’t have a welcome party so we didn’t have a chance to like, say hi.” 

Her words were a little fast, but Deadlock caught everything. 

Neon then sticks out her hand, but not before making sure that she doesn’t accidentally electrocute her new teammate. Deadlock looks down at the gesture and moves her left arm up to grasp the hand. 

Upon making contact, Neon’s lips part, and her eyes widen slightly as she feels Deadlock’s cold, mechanical hand wrap around hers. It was weird, but she didn’t mind it. 

“Woah… cool arm!”

The excitement on the duelist’s face is immediately transferred down to her actions as she gently turns Deadlock’s hand around, looking at its details and seeming so encapsulated by the very thought of a prosthetic limb. 

She gawks over this new revelation, this new discovery, standing there in the hallway and just looking at the arm. To be fair, it isn’t really new, Breach also has prosthetics, so maybe there was another reason as to why she was so interested.

This whole scene plays out, and Deadlock can’t help but catch herself smiling at Neon’s cute reactions to a thing that she thought was so.. morbid, in a sense. Neon continues to inspect the arm, turning it over and over again, and somehow always managing to find new details. 

Let’s turn the spotlight to Fade for a bit, she hasn’t gotten any attention in this chapter so far. 

Hm… well, she mostly spent her whole morning in the range with Omen, chatting about cats and stuff whilst they sharpened their aim. But when she noticed that Deadlock wasn’t in the cafeteria for lunch, she could feel this gut wrenching, soul sucking disappointment build up in her body. 

That was a tad too dramatic, wasn’t it?

All I’m trying to say is that blud was upset that her latest crush didn’t appear in the cafeteria for lunch, when she was looking forward to making some small talk. 

But, knowing them, there would be no small talk, they’d probably just sit in awkward silence and exchange not so subtle glances. 

I think both parties are well aware of the mutual attraction, but I digress. I couldn’t even tell that a girl was flirting with me over text, so.. useless lesbian I guess. (True story I wish I was lying) 

Fast forward a little, and you have Fade making her way to Deadlock’s room, wanting to check in on her. Accompanied with her favourite mug, filled to the brim with her favourite beverage, Fade finds herself almost spilling it on the ground when she sees Neon and Deadlock holding hands. 

SHAKING hands. Mind you. But I guess I could see why it could’ve been misconstrued as gay hand holding, what, with Neon still holding onto Deadlock’s hand and staring at it intensely. 

A flash of anger flows through Fade’s body, before settling down as embarrassment and disappointment. 

She had read the situation between her and Deadlock wrong. She had read the subtle staring and word choice wrong. She had misinterpreted their relationship. She had misread their chemistry. 

She couldn’t even grasp why she was so upset. She had told herself that she didn’t like Deadlock. She had told herself that this wasn’t a big thing and that she had to focus on more important aspects of her life. 

Anyways, who was she to get upset at who Deadlock chose to interact or flirt with? 

Then, she saw it. She saw something that told her that she should turn her back and move on before it was too late. 

Notes:

stay safe ! take care of yourselves and i hope you like this chp :]

might get busier with school over the next few weeks,, so i apologise if it takes a while to update :< (also sorry if this chp was a little weird i am stuck in a constant state of being sleepy and slightly sick)

Chapter 6: Distance

Summary:

Having seen what she saw, Fade decides that it’s best to put aside her feelings for Deadlock and focus on other things.

Notes:

gaslight gatekeep girlboss

the realisation that i may have already royally fucked up this storyline

I’m gonna assume you guessed what happened. Or at least, you can guess what the gist of it was, what it entailed. Obviously, something physical happened between Deadlock and Neon. 

No! No touching of lips! We’re not going into romantic things so early on, I’ve got to keep you hooked for a while more before I put two people together. 

And by that I mean, it’s gonna be one hell of a ride and wait, but it’s eventually gonna happen. 

Insert cool, sophisticated segway into the story. 

Fade’s disappointment is immeasurable at this point. Her face scrunches up in anger and frustration. 

You might be wondering what was so diabolical that made Fade almost drop to her knees. Well, it’s simple. They merely hugged. Neon initiated of course, and Deadlock was too scared to reject her. So, she awkwardly wrapped her arms around Neon’s small body, but, she kept her torso a distance away. You know, like those hugs where you don’t really touch each other’s bodies, just.. wrap your arms around each other. 

“Come on, that’s not a real hug!” 

With that, Neon pulls Deadlock in for a tighter hug, and Deadlock could practically hear one of her ribs crack - not really, but you get the point. So, the pair was locked in this hug, with Fade watching on. 

Unfortunately, this was enough to convince Fade that perhaps Deadlock was just friendly with people she met, or that Deadlock held an interest in the blue haired speedster. 

Nah, the first reason seems a little bit far fetched. Deadlock doesn’t seem like the social type. 

Either way, you just need to know that this was just a huge misunderstanding. Perhaps Deadlock did start to have a liking for Neon, but who’s to say she feels more for Neon than Fade? 

Sure, she liked the way Neon seemed like a positive little ball of pure energy, what, with the way she seemed so fascinated and in awe of Deadlock’s prosthetic. Deadlock didn’t seem to mind the fact that Neon came up to her to introduce herself, when no one else had done that. 

Fade didn’t. They bumped into each other. And who’s to say Fade would have even batted an eye towards Deadlock if they hadn’t met at the garden that night? I mean, she’d probably just have shrugged her off as just another agent. She couldn’t be bothered to befriend any new ones. 

Deadlock turns her head to see Fade’s upset face staring her down from across the hallway, and in the moment, she had thought that Fade was perhaps Neon’s partner or something, disgruntled by the fact that they were hugging. 

Upon seeing this, she immediately releases the duelist from her grasp, eyes still on Fade. The latter wasn’t moving at all, just simply standing there, cup trembling in her hand. With her curiosity piqued at the sudden end to the hug, Neon follows Deadlock’s gaze, leading her eyes to Fade. 

Unable to realise that something was up, Neon cheerfully runs over to Fade, wanting to greet her fellow agent, while Deadlock remains rooted to the floor, Fade’s eyes burning a hole in Deadlock’s sockets. 

Fade fails to recognise Neon’s incessant shirt pulling as she fires a million questions at her as if she was a kid who had too much candy. All she cared about was that Deadlock wasn’t moving a muscle, and that she wasn’t coming over to explain herself. 

But the two had different ideas of what was going on. Fade on one hand, thought that she had misread her interactions with Deadlock, that they were actually nothing but platonic, and that Deadlock was instead interested in Neon. Deadlock, on the other, thought that she had just come between two lovers, and that she was caught by one of them. 

Now it wasn’t as if she was caught making out with Neon or something, it was just a hug. But then, people have different boundaries with their partner, so Deadlock decided to assume the worst. 

Once she was able to unroot her feet, she wanted to so desperately explain herself to Fade, but the latter had already peeled herself away from the situation, Neon cluelessly following her along. 

Deadlock stops herself from chasing after Fade, choosing instead to move back to her room to finally wash up and perhaps eat something. That scene kept replaying in her head, the look on Fade’s face, the way her mug shook violently. 

For some reason, Deadlock couldn’t get Fade’s gaze out of her mind, it was as if it had left a mark on her. She felt a weird sense of disappointment, seeing how Fade looked at her like that. 

She didn’t want her to be the bad guy in Fade’s eyes. She didn’t want to be the person who made her upset. Instead, she wanted to be the reason that Fade smiled. If that’s even possible. 

But for now she’d just have to settle for just going back to her room alone. 

—

Some days pass, and Deadlock hasn’t heard from Fade in a while. It seems like the latter’s trying her best to avoid the former at any and all cost. The distance between them grew, and Deadlock had trouble trying to find new friends. Well, apart from Neon. 

The other agents weren’t unfriendly. Deadlock just didn’t feel like socialising after the catastrophe that ensued with Fade. She spent her days training, trying to get used to her new prosthetic arm.

It proved difficult. Though it was easy for her to carry out daily activities like eating, showering and just doing tasks in general, it was a new learning curve when it came to punching and hand-to-hand combat. 

Breach was her ‘coach’ seeing how he also had prosthetics. He helped her along her journey to get used to her arm, and how to use it effectively in combat. 

“Now you’re getting the hang of it. You stopped punching like a little girl.” 

He chuckles as Deadlock groans and settles down on a bench in the training room, towel around her neck and water bottle in hand. Her occupying herself with combat and aim training was one way to stop herself from thinking about Fade. 

Truth be told, it hasn’t worked. Every time she finished training, her mind would wander, and she would think of the Turkish agent, her grumpy face sipping coffee in the morning, afternoon and evening. 

She still felt terrible for what she had done, and she knew that she should probably talk to Fade to clear things up, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t bring herself to make the first move. Breach’s obnoxious cough brings Deadlock out of her thoughts. 

“I’ll see you next week. I have a few things to sort out so-” 

Breach doesn’t even finish his sentence before he realises that Deadlock was already one foot out the door and heading back to her room. He sighs and wipes away some brow sweat before wiping down the room and leaving as well. 

Deadlock was in a trance, walking with no thoughts in her mind - except Fade -, letting her feet take her wherever they pleased. 

You might be wondering how Fade’s been doing all this time while she’s been avoiding Deadlock. 

It was as difficult for Fade as it was for Deadlock, not seeing the other party for days. Fade felt as if there was something missing, a hole left by Deadlock’s presence that could not be patched up by a warm cup of Joe. 

She shakes her head, sitting at her work desk with her computer on, a report waiting for her. As much as she tries to deny the fact that she has become attracted to Deadlock, she can’t. 

It wasn’t just the way she looked, Fade isn’t that shallow. She liked the way Deadlock talks, she liked the way Deadlock smiles, and she deeply enjoys their awkward conversations - maybe more than she actually should - and now that it was all gone, she felt empty. 

But it didn’t matter, the hug she had witnessed was enough to convince her that Deadlock was into Neon. Friends don’t hug, after all, right? Hugging is totally a romantic thing to do. 

Well, she had also caught Deadlock and Neon having a pleasant conversation, more so than any conversation the both of them ever had. This could all be solved with one question, Fade could ask Neon, she could ask Deadlock. But no, she doesn’t want to. 

Weirdly enough she doesn’t want to clear the air. If she had the wrong idea - which she did - it would be embarrassing. Embarrassing that she gave Deadlock the silent treatment, and that she jumped to conclusions. 

But then, was there another reason? 

So what if she jumped to conclusions? People do that sometimes. We all make mistakes, and I think we’ve all been in situations where we’ve jumped to conclusions before. 

Maybe she didn’t want to fall further into this pit, the pit of obsessing over one person, scrutinising every single move they make, what songs they listen to, what types of books they read, where they go, what their hobbies are. 

All this just to find out if the both of you have anything , anything in common. From the smallest, minute details to the most niche ones, like having the same niche hobbies, or listening to the same indie artist that only has 5,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. 

Fade had to focus on why she was at Valorant. She couldn’t let some feelings side track her from her main objective. She couldn’t let some blonde girl sweep her off her feet and onto her back. 

“Oh my god this is literally killing me.”

The words I have repeated so many times over and over again to a computer screen were now being said by Fade. Except, she wasn’t complaining about work, no. She was complaining about the hellhole that was emotions . And, how to navigate them. 

Hm, that sounds like a decent title for a book. 

Hands running through her thick, dark hair, her body melts onto the table with sheer frustration. Mugs overturned, papers strewn all over the place, cables and wires tangled beyond help. The one thing, the one thing she had to cheer her up was now gone, and she couldn’t find anything to replace it with. 

Devastating. 

Nonetheless, she has to continue with her work, she has to push on and tell herself that if she doesn’t, she’ll just be stuck in this never ending loop of not wanting to do anything. If she could just get past this… this need of talking to Deadlock, she’ll be fine. 

I mean, distance is all she needs right? With one arm stuck out, keeping them apart from each other, they should be fine, right? After all, distance does ruin relationships. (If you’re in an LDR please don’t come after me) 

Yeah, it should be fine. Until you force them to close down the distance.

Notes:

hi hello i unfortunately spent most of my holidays paranoid over something that happened to me (no i dont want to go into details i really hate it that i was so stupid), and i spent the other half sleeping and doing some personal art and mostly, playing games bc once school starts i will never see my games for a cool like, 7 weeks (i know it's a short while but my god these 7 weeks without games to relax are going to be hell)

anyways,, my holidays are going to end again and i will probably drop off the face of the earth once more so i give this chp, until my hopeful return in late august i think (i cant rem when my holidays end)
stay safe :]

also 600+ hits on this when im not regularly updating damn,, thank you i am forever grateful *insert emoji*

Chapter 7: Face To Face

Summary:

They’re about to go on an assignment together, the pair, and now, they’re forced to face each other.

Notes:

oml im back

school is over and i am finally able to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at 11 instead of 7 or 8 or 9 or whatever
i initially wanted to get rid of the last chp and rewrite it bc i thought it was confusing, but apparently people got it and so it stays (unless you think it’s confusing then yes i will rewrite that and this chp and think of something better)
either way, i hope i can write more during the break (brain go brrr) hope you’ve been well so far, and enjoy
many mwaks
again i do apologise for any mistakes in my writing, not the best at keeping up with valorant lore

Welcome back, random internet people I don’t know (as well as some people whom I know in real life who’ve stumbled upon this monstrosity) living in my phone and laptop, to another instalment of this . 

Last we left it, Deadlock and Fade were going through a ‘cold war’ I suppose you could say (lazy writing), avoiding each other at all and any cost. Obviously, it was just a few days, but still. 

There was, and still is, much confusion in the air between the two, and Neon was caught in between it. 

The way the last chapter ended left some room for speculation, and yes, obviously we’ll be addressing it here, now. 

You know that feeling when you have to work with one of your best friends on a project for school? Feels great, right? Now, imagine that a few days before your teacher announced the project, you and your best friend had a big argument. Like, I mean, a huge, huge argument that led to the two of you ‘breaking up’.

And now, apply that scenario to Deadlock and Fade. 

The pair had just gotten an assignment together. Alongside some other agents, but that’s besides the point. The group was going on a mission, and that’s all you need to know. 

Can you imagine how awkward it is? How awkward it is to be put in the same group as someone whom you had some form of falling out with?

With that, I leave you with Deadlock and Fade.

Insert another cool, yet somehow classy segway. 

When Fade had heard of the assignment, she cursed inwardly, wanting to roll her eyes right out the door. But then came the group she was going to be working with, and that made her just want to curl up into a ball and implode. 

There was no way this assignment was going to go well, not when there was a huge rift between her and Deadlock. Not when she gave Deadlock such a hardcore glare that she was sure it was seared into the other’s mind. 

She slammed her laptop down with a grudge, cursing out at Brimstone for not recognising that there was beef between the two agents. Fade knows she’s being unreasonable, that no one knows of this thing that was going on, but she needed someone to blame. 

Pushing herself off the table, she stands upright, body taut like a bowstring and ready to snap at the next person who looked at her wrong. 

And as fate would have it… 

Knock knock 

(Who’s there)

The sound of knocks on Fade’s door somehow pissed her off even more. She was having a private moment of loathing, damn it, and now she had to deal with socialising and talking to someone? Ugh! 

Begrudgingly, Fade moved to the door and pushed it open, only slightly though. She didn’t want to invite the person into her personal quarters. 

“ What? ” She asked, the word pushed out with a bitter tone. Her eyes ran from bottom to top, the realisation of who it was sinking in with every inch she travelled. 

Lo and behold, it was the last person she wanted to see right now. 

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to… uh… talk?”

Fade straightened herself up and allowed for the door to slide open just a little more so she could get a good glance. And she was right. It was Deadlock of all people. 

Suddenly, she made herself look more confident, more open to whatever Deadlock wanted to talk about. Her gaze softened, and her body relaxed, as if every fibre in her being had suddenly decided to choose that very moment to rebel against her brain. 

“About?” 

The words came out softer than she wanted them to, came out too gently, too kindly. She was supposed to be holding a grudge against her, and yet when she was face to face with her - something she had successfully avoided for 3 whole days (wow that deserves an award) - she couldn’t help but want to seem more presentable, friendlier, more composed. 

With the door more open than Deadlock had expected, she took the chance to take in the decor. There was no decor. It was just mostly basic stuff. Some assorted nick-nacks here and there, some mugs thrown about with various designs on them. (Don’t sue me if this isn’t canon okay it’s just what I picture Fade’s room to be) 

“About… about uh…” 

Deadlock had rehearsed this conversation before in her head on the way here, and somehow, nothing came to mind for some reason. She wanted to talk about how to settle this weird gap between the two, especially when Deadlock had just joined. The sentinel didn’t want to have any bad blood with anyone in the first week. 

“You know.”

She opted for a cowardly approach, the topic suddenly heavy and difficult to discuss. 

“Yes, I may know.” 

Fade replied rather quickly. She knew that Deadlock would eventually confront her, and now wasn’t the best time. 

“I just don’t want there to be any beef between us while on the assignment.” 

“There won’t be.” 

It seemed that Fade was quick to dismiss anything going wrong on the mission due to their strained ‘relationship’, and that did little to soothe Deadlock’s nervousness. It was going to be her first assignment after all. She didn’t want to screw up. 

“Are you sure-” 

“Yes, for the love of god.” 

“I just want to make sure-”

“We’ll be fine.” 

“With the way you’re talking right now, I don’t think we’ll be fine. You talk as if you hate my guts.” 

“I always talk as if I hate someone’s guts.” 

Silence. 

Deadlock sighed, her form crumpling for a bit. But if Fade said that they’ll be fine, then they’ll be fine. After all, if Fade wasn’t going to be difficult to work with on the assignment, then that was great news. That was all Deadlock wanted, to have a simple and breezy assignment, and then to come back and sleep it off. 

Fade noticed the way Deadlock seemed to relent, her questions stopping. She cleared her throat, and there was that unbearable and uncomfortable awkward silence she had come to miss in the 3 days she was avoiding Deadlock. 

It was horrendously painful to sit through, yes, but Fade liked it. Maybe in some crazy way, she enjoyed the silences. It allowed for her to spend more time with Deadlock, and honestly, that’s all that she could care about. 

The silence settled and Deadlock wanted to make up something to talk about. Although she had stewed alongside Fade in this crushing silence before multiple times, she preferred there to be a topic of discussion, instead of just pure, antagonising quiet time. 

“Armoury.” 

She blurted out, wanting to end the awkwardness as soon as possible, and that was the first word that came out. 

“Armoury?” 

“Armoury.” 

Deadlock nodded with her lips pressed into a firm line. She hadn’t familiarised herself with the guns yet, and there was no one else who seemed to take initiative to help her. 

“Guns.” 

“Guns.” 

Fade just found herself repeating whatever Deadlock said, just in a disbelieving tone. 

“I need… to learn about the different guns.” 

“There are manuals in the range.”

“It would be better to have someone demonstrate.” 

Another glare was shot at Deadlock. This time, one that showed utter disbelief at the other. 

“Are you… kidding me?” 

“No.”

“Okay so, get someone to teach you? I’m not the resident arms expert.”

Damn it. 

Deadlock found herself cursing in her mind. She wanted to spend more time with Fade, but this was clearly not working, Fade was actively trying to get out of hanging out with her. (Okay, she denied the proposition to teach Deadlock about the different guns and their specs, but whatever) 

Some silence passed them once more as Fade tries to remove herself from the situation. Sure, she liked the proximity, and the fact that they were ‘on speaking terms’ again, but this was getting too awkward for her liking, and they would have to start preparing soon. 

However, there was only one way that Fade could actually think of to get her out of this situation, and that was, to bury herself deeper into it. 

“Fine. I’ll help you.” 

The words were pushed through her gritted teeth as if she had just agreed to do a menial task that would take ages to complete. Deadlock raised an eyebrow, but shoved her suspicions aside. She needed to get familiarised with the guns as soon as possible. 

“G-great. Great, yes, great. Yes.” 

Mindless rambling. How stupendous. 

Fade caught herself smiling slightly at how Deadlock seemed to ‘short circuit’ at her agreement, before she wiped it off of her face. 

“Come on then. We don’t have all day.” 

Fade grumbled as she moved past Deadlock, trying to put a scowl on her face, acting as if this was the worst thing that she could have suggested. Deadlock followed behind Fade, unsure if the other would be fine with walking side by side. 

I’m not going to bore you with the details of the whole gun range shooting thing. There was no need for Fade to wrap her arms around Deadlock and teach her how to hold a gun, how to shoot, she wasn’t an amateur. Far from that. 

Besides, Deadlock didn’t actually need any training with the guns. She was smart enough to figure out how to use them on her own. She just wanted to interact with Fade, to talk to her and break the ice that had formed between them since the situation with Neon. 

“Seems like you know how to use the guns.” 

Fade commented from the side as she grumpily stomped over to Deadlock with her arms crossed. She had hoped for the need to actually wrap her arms around the other to teach her how to manipulate the weapon, but of course god said, ‘it ain’t happening honey’. 

“Oh- you’re… you’re just a really good teacher.” 

And you’re a terrible liar. 

Of course Fade could tell Deadlock was lying. Of course she could tell that Deadlock didn’t actually need help with learning how to use the guns. For fuck sakes, she knew Deadlock was capable of killing anything and anybody. 

But, she wasn’t mad. She was glad that Deadlock was trying to strip away the awkwardness that ensued between them. Honestly, though she doesn’t mind the uncomfortable silences, she did miss the horribly painful conversations they’d have. 

I could ramble on about how the two basically missed each other, no matter how suffocating their interactions were. As weird as it sounds, their conversations were somewhat comforting. They were content with just spending some time with each other. It didn’t matter what they were doing, they just wanted to be graced by the other’s presence. 

“We need to go.” 

Deadlock whips her head around to look at Fade, nodding. The pair wipe down whatever they need to, before promptly leaving the range. 

The walk to the lockers was silent - as always - with Deadlock trailing behind Fade, trying to read her body language from the back. Fade had her hands neatly tucked into her pants, her shoulders slumped downwards comfortably as she ‘struts’ through the hallways of the HQ. 

She seemed confident. 

But we all know that in truth, she was putting up a front. 

Fade didn’t know what to make of this. They were on talking terms once more, and she couldn’t be happier, but she still wondered if there was something between Deadlock and Neon. She couldn’t help but worry that she was coming in between something, that she was going to ruin something for her. 

Obviously we all know that there isn’t anything between the speedster and the blonde. It was just a misunderstanding that could be worked out if Fade and Deadlock just talked. But no, of course they aren’t going to communicate. They rather just live with their assumptions than go through an ‘uncomfortable’ confrontation. 

With the pair suited up and ready to go,they gathered with their other teammates, and off they went on their assignment.

Chapter 8: another author's note (8 Sept 2025)

hi everynan 

i know i haven't updated this fic in over a year, and there are obviously reasons as to why i stopped :

1, my interest in writing fan fiction kind of died down. im more interested in building my own world and characters now, as compared to adhering to other people's writing of their characters. this kind of links in to my second point. 

2, im not that big into Valorant anymore. i stopped playing a long time ago, and i think i wasn't even playing when i was writing the first chapter of this fic. so, naturally, im out of the loop regarding lore specifics, and i dont really want to get anything wrong (i'm scared of pissing off die hard fans - if they somehow stumble upon this lmao - if i get something wrong) 

3, this wasn't true when i stopped writing, but i started the year (2025) with an internship, then a final year proj. both of them spanned 3 months, which meant that for 6 months straight, i was living that 9 - 6 life (which is quite tiring actually). not only that, some personal problems and whatnot made me 'lose' my passion for writing. now, im still going through a rough patch, and i need to work on my portfolio (design student hell). i've also just been in a horrible artblock that SOMEHOW hasn't let up for a long time now. (either that or im just not creative at all - which may be true idk) 

so yeah, that's why i haven't been updating this

but i think the biggest reason has to be my first point; because im not interested in writing fan fiction anymore, and want to create worlds of my own instead. i have about 5 (or 6) pairs of ocs that i've come up with, and i have ideas for all of them. 

what does this mean for this work then? i dont know. i've gone back and read through my previous chapters, and i really hate my writing bc it just constantly made me go 'why on earth did i write that' or 'why did i write it like this'. 

i am open to maybe bringing Fade and Deadlock into an AU, maybe as stand ins for my ocs in their worlds. but then again, i dont know what is the stance on doing things like that - if it's weird, or wrong in any way (to be using someone else's characters in your own universe) - so i would need some comments on that. 

but for this particular fic, it might actually end here. because i mentioned from the start of it that (albeit in a joking manner) i didn't know where i was going with this story line. my previous works had such confusing story lines and i hated that they did. it's hard for me to come up with compelling stories when im not using my own characters/world, because it streamlines me and boxes me into what im able to write/scenarios that i can come up with. 

for example, when im writing Valorant stuff, i often make it so that the agents are really only going on missions, recuperating in the HQ, etc. there isn't anything outside of these scenarios because like i said, i dont know the lore that well and i dont want to insert anything not canon/ not true (which i have probably done before) 

all this being said, i dont want to stop writing !! 

if it is alright to do so, i will see how to bring Deadlock and Fade (and other agents) into AUs from my own creations (i.e, Deadlock and Fade would be stand ins for my OCs in the AU) 

and, if you want to, you can follow me on Twitter (linked is my account) :] i post art, and will probably be posting content on my OCs. (sporadically) im not very active on Twitter, but i do post whenever i make something that i really like. (shameless plug im so sorry) 

thank you for all your kind words on this work, all the kudos (or how ever u spell it) and support. despite the fact that this isn't going to continue, i'm glad i did write this. to those who wanted this to continue, i apologise for cutting it short like this, but i dont see myself being able to continue adding on to this story line in a way that is interesting, compelling and readable. 

stay safe, and i hope to see you soon ! keep an eye out for if i do bring Deadlock and Fade into my ocs' AUs - if it is ok to do so, like i said - and other stuffs (i dont know :p) [edit: that being said, im not going to make empty promises - my interest in writing fan fiction is extremely low now, and if i do come up with new works in the future, i will not be motivated/committed to updating them, so do keep that in mind if i end up bringing Deadlock and Fade into my AUs.]