Chapter Text
Khun Nueng realised she wanted to marry Anueng early on a Tuesday morning.
The day wasn’t special in any particular way. It wasn’t Anueng’s birthday, or a romantic holiday that she would pretend to be reluctant about celebrating.
It was normal.
She had woken up with her girlfriend snuggled up beside her, when normally they would be entangled in some way with Anueng clinging onto her like a koala. It was quite nice to have the opportunity of seeing her face up close without being teased or flirted with. Khun Nueng could enjoy it, take in how peaceful Anueng looked; it made her heart ache with how much she loved her.
Anueng could be unbelievably sweet in the mornings, she wasn’t a fan of waking up too early and always longed to be held for as long as Khun Nueng would allow it. At first the amount of physical contact had been overwhelming; after years of being alone every touch felt like a livewire against her nerves. Every time her hand or arm was grabbed she would remove it, but as time went on and they slowly grew closer the overstimulation faded.
Being in a romantic relationship also changed the way her body reacted to Anueng. Cuddling was something she actually enjoyed, and so far she hadn’t found anything better than waking up in a warm embrace.
The effects love had on her were staggering.
Though it wasn't always like that.
When Anueng wasn’t being sweet their mornings were usually more of a workout. Not that she minded. Taking enjoyment in simple things like morning sex was something she never thought would happen to her. Anueng had certainly made her realise that she was more of a lover than she ever thought she was, and that was a wonderful thing.
However, if she had to choose what her favourite part of the morning was, it would be being awake before her lover. She could take as much time as she wanted to study the younger woman, to trace over her delicate features and drink in her beauty. Maybe it was because she was an artist but she would never get tired of gazing at Anueng. There would never be enough time to take all of her features in.
It was during one of these quiet mornings that Khun Nueng caught a glance at her love’s left hand. It was curled into a loose fist, resting neatly under her chin. Usually she didn’t take much notice of where her hands were, but the close approximation to her face had led her eyes there. She took in the shape of her knuckles and how her skin seemed almost translucent in places. Anueng almost looked like a marble sculpture brought to life, though in fairness it would be disrespectful to claim that anyone could create something as beautiful as her out of rock.
Then Anueng shifted in her sleep, it caught Khun Nueng off guard and for a few moments she held her breath. Anueng often woke up to find the older woman gazing at her, it usually made her blush and protest that she didn’t look good in the mornings. It was a lie, Anueng always looked beautiful, and despite her claims she loved the attention.
Keeping extremely still, she watched as Anueng's hand opened with her fingers splaying out onto the pillow. Knowing she was a heavy sleeper, Khun Nueng didn’t worry about Anueng waking up so soon. Her girlfriend loved to sleep, and she was content to let her rest.
However she once again found herself drawn to her hand. In particular her ring finger.
It looked strangely empty.
Without thinking she slid her own ring off her index finger, and slipped it on Anueng’s ring finger. It looked a little silly since it didn’t fit her at all but the sight of it made her pause.
What would Anueng look like with a real ring on her finger? A silver band decorated with simple diamonds, a sign of a future union.
An image of Anueng with happy tears in her eyes, beaming up at her with a pretty engagement ring on her finger flashed in her head.
Khun Nueng’s mouth suddenly felt very dry, and so she quickly removed her ring and slipped out of bed as silently as she could. Only once she was outside their bedroom did she breathe again. Taking in greedy lungfuls of air, she leaned against the wall. She was still clutching the ring in her hand and idly played with it while she tried to settle her thoughts. The metal was still warm from their joint body heat, and unlike an engagement ring it was smooth without any gems or engravings.
No, she had to stop.
She squeezed her hand tight around it and waited a full minute before she relaxed it again.
Her mind was spinning out of control with only one thought taking up precious space.
She wanted to propose to Anueng.
She wanted to marry her, for them to spend the rest of their lives together.
That was a lot.
Slipping the ring back onto her finger she made sure to wait until she had calmed down enough that she wouldn’t accidentally wake up Anueng. The last thing she needed was to be caught in the middle of a crisis. She could only imagine the kind of conversation they would end up having.
Heading back into the bedroom, she climbed into bed and curled up to Anueng once more. Marriage wasn't something she had given much thought, not since she had run out on Chet. It seemed pointless, a waste of time and money, but as she lay with the love of her life in her arms she realised just how wrong she had been. The ceremony didn't have to be massive, all she wanted was to promise herself to this woman, to make a vow so old it was practically ingrained into the bones of humanity.
Fantasizing about the ceremony and their future together was all well and good but there was a more important step before all of those things.
She had to get a ring and find the perfect way to propose.
The most important part of the proposal was getting it right. There were many ways to go about popping the question.
In her time messing around on social media she had come across countless YouTube videos that showed high adrenaline skydiving, dance mobs and sports games as possible ideas. Khun Nueng tried to imagine doing any of them but it all seemed so juvenile in comparison to how she felt about Anueng. So naturally all of the options were firmly crossed off.
Anueng wasn’t the sort of person that wanted any of those things, as much as she loved holding hands and sharing light affection in public, the proposal was a completely different story. It was something that would be best done alone, just the two of them.
But it needed to be special. When it came to romance, Khun Nueng wasn’t the best at it. In all her adult years she hadn’t bothered to date anyone seriously, not until Anueng came into her life and refused to leave. She had been passive, and free of silly thoughts of love, until she had fallen hard for Anueng, even then it was a massive learning curve.
Romantic dinners, and date nights were things she had to thoroughly plan out and even then she felt bad about it. Anueng deserved more than that and google only had so many answers.
She needed to find someone she trusted and ask for advice. She couldn't ask Dr Wan, that would be far too awkward and she didn't want to risk hurting Anueng again. Chet and Fah were out of the equation based on how much they disagreed with the relationship. The grandmother might be more open to a conversation, but it would be uncomfortable and the stress wasn't worth it.
That left only two people, and thankfully they were understanding of her relationship with Anueng.
Without jostling the bed, Khun Nueng took her phone in hand and typed out a quick text to Sam.
Nueng: Dinner tonight.
After a few minutes her phone lit up with a response.
Sam: Double date?
Nueng: No. Just us.
Sam: Is Sushi good for you?
Nueng: I don't care what we eat as long as you're paying for it.
Sam: Fine.
…
The restaurant was far fancier than Khun Nueng would have liked, but since Sam was paying she tried her best to relax. It clearly didn't work because Sam hadn't stopped giving her strange looks.
“Are you sick?” Sam had asked bluntly, she hadn’t touched her food at all, instead she had spent the last five minutes watching Khun Nueng push food around her plate like a child who didn't want to eat their dinner. “You’re dying, aren’t you?”
“What? No, I’m not dying.” Khun Nueng scoffed, taking a long needed sip from her glass of wine. She knew alcohol wouldn't calm her nerves but she needed something to take the edge off. Placing the glass down she sighed. Whisky would have been the better option.
Looking back at her younger sister she noticed that she had barely moved. The tense line of Sam's shoulders dropped slightly but she still held a serious look on her face.
“Then why are you acting like you are? Is everything alright with Anueng?”
“Anueng is perfectly fine.”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “I’ll call her if I have to.”
“Touch your phone and you’ll regret it.” Khun Nueng eyed the phone on the table before narrowing her eyes at Sam. “I'm sure there are some choice things Mon doesn't know about you.”
“Mon knows everything about me.”
“Does she?” It was dangerous to play with Sam like this, she knew every trick in the book and wouldn’t back down easily. After all, she learnt from the best.
To her credit Sam looked far more bored than she had expected. The annoyance that she wanted didn't appear, instead she took a bite and leisurely washed it down before bothering to speak.
“For a threat to work I'd need to be scared of you, since I'm not you're wasting your time.”
Nueng pinched the bridge of her nose. Arguing with her sister wasn't going to get her anywhere. There wasn’t a clear way out of this conversation without admitting the truth, so with her heart on her sleeve she let go of her fears and decided to speak freely.
“I want to propose to Anueng, but I don’t know how. I want things to be perfect for her because she deserves it. I want to be romantic, but I have no point of reference. I need help and you are the only person I trust.”
The serious look Sam had been wearing dropped and what replaced it was a mix of surprise and relief. A rare smile pulled at Sam’s lips. It was normally reserved for Mon, and before that their parents when they were still around. It was unnerving, Khun Nueng looked away and dabbed at her eyes to wick moisture.
“Khun Nueng, I’m so happy for you both.”
It must have looked strange from an outside perspective; two people that were only recently in touch with their emotions, crying together at a fancy restaurant. Khun Nueng couldn’t find it in herself to care what anyone else thought. She was happy, she was in love and she was planning on asking for Anueng’s hand in marriage.
But..what if she said no.
She tried to force the thought away. Anueng was in love with her, and had been for years. They were in it for life, regardless of what her answer would be.
Sam’s hand slapped hers and she jolted, knocking the table slightly. The ring of glassware colliding with metal sounded out and she glared at her sister.
“Are you trying to get us kicked out?”
“Stop panicking. Save that for the wedding planning, trust me it’s not an easy thing. I was content with letting professionals deal with everything but Mon wanted it to be special. You know I can’t say no to her so the ordeal took a lot longer than I had originally planned.” Sam softened, her gaze briefly shifting to her own wedding ring. “I don’t regret it. I’d do it all again if she wanted.”
“Yes, I get it. You’re in love.”
“Don’t act like you and Anueng aren’t the same. Mon told me she practically lights up whenever she talks about you. What did you do to her to get her like that?” Sam frowned, shaking her head in disgust. “Actually don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
Khun Nueng was mid drink and swallowed as much of her wine as she could before she spat any of it out on the tablecloth. Coughing behind her hand she carefully put the glass down and wiped at her mouth with a napkin.
“Sam.”
“Fine. You want to make the proposal special, something that caters to Anueng and how much you love her.”
“Yes, exactly that.”
“How did you meet?”
“She saw me at the market.” Khun Nueng couldn’t help but smile at the memory. It sounded like something out of a book, a moment so ordinary that changed both of their lives. “I was drawing and she watched me for a few weeks before building up the courage to ask for a portrait.”
With a quirk of her lips, Sam nodded. “Then that’s your answer. Draw her.”
…
An artbook. That was the big idea she had for the proposal. She had thought about just drawing one picture, maybe even painting it in the watercolours that Anueng liked, but that seemed far too simple. So one picture turned into two, and then swiftly turned into a sketchbook of their history.
It was crazy, and admittedly Nueng knew it. It was a massive undertaking, especially since she had her business to run. There was also the work-life balance of making sure she spent enough time with Anueng (There would never be enough time), without giving away the surprise. Sneaking away during the day wasn’t an option, mainly because she didn’t want Anueng to think she was doing something nefarious. Of course after everything they had been through they had enormous amounts of trust built between them, but she didn’t want to accidentally hurt her girlfriend.
The only option was to wait until Anueng fell asleep, and sneak off to try and get some drawing done. It was a slow process with the first few days spent planning out what she wanted to showcase. There was a detailed list of their personal timeline, something she had decided to do before starting to sketch anything out.
Their first meeting.
Making her go home on the bus.
Walking her home.
Slowly falling in love with her even when the world seemed fit to fight against their happiness.
It was an emotional experience.
Drawing the events leading up to the accident was the worst part. Just thinking about it was bad enough but having to delve into those emotions hit too close to home. The sequence played on repeat in her head like a record with a needle stuck in a groove. The phone call. The hospital. The beeping of machines and the frail body of the woman she loved.
It was too awful, and thankfully once she was finished with that part she closed the sketchbook, vowing to never look at those pages again.
After putting her tools away she crept back into their bed and carefully shifted until Anueng was in her arms. It was only when she could hear soft breathing and feel the gentle rise and fall of her lover’s chest, did she relax.