Chapter Text
“Guess what?!” Hector shouts as soon as he storms inside the living room. Ryu decides to turn, eyeing him up and down before rolling his eyes.
“What?”
“We got personally invited to the ugly sweater-themed party!” Hector jumps on the couch, landing in between Jeongguk, Jori, and Ryu who are currently enjoying the Breakfast Club playing at full volume.
The sweater-themed party Hector is referring to is hosted by Jeongguk’s soccer team, but Jeongguk prefers spending his Friday nights watching the Breakfast Club with his roommates in comfortable sweats.
Besides, he’s not missing out on a lot, just tons of beer pong and loud music. It’s never really been his thing to begin with, which is why he’s not having a severe case of FOMO but rather having as much fun as his teammates.
It’s not a surprise that Hector comes bursting in to force them out to the party; since the very first semester Hector had his eyes locked onto Kim Namjoon, goalkeeper of the Red Devils. Parties and alcohol is the exact mix he needs in his system to gain a ton of courage to be honest with himself and eventually tell Namjoon that he likes him.
“Hector, drop your fancy pants and put on some sweats. We’re staying in,” Jori informs before bringing a handful of popcorn towards his mouth and munching loudly.
“No. No. You are all going with me.” He tries to pull Jeongguk and Jori by the arm, causing Jori to whine in protest, determined to stay the fuck in.
“Jeongguk. Come on, please? You owe me.”
Fuck.
Jeongguk knew he’d use it against him one day. Hector had one hell of a good memory. He remembers every minor inconvenience his roommates have experienced, even when drunk. Jeongguk truly believes that if there ever was a job for people with a good memory, Hector would be the CEO.
So maybe Jeongguk did owe him, once. The reasons being he saved Jeongguk’s ass from an awful date with someone from campus. It’s not that he wasn’t cute, he just constantly kept talking so much that Jeongguk could barely squeeze a word out.
Not only that, but when he finally managed, the guy in front of him pulled out a notepad and started writing things down. Jeongguk soon found out those things were subjects he wanted to bring up when he was done talking.
Yeah, Jeongguk did not see him after that.
“Okay, fine.”
The words taste like vomit on his tongue.
Hector cheers in victory as he runs to his own room. Jori and Ryu try their hardest not to laugh, knowing this night will either be a disaster or a win depending on whether or not Hector finally gets a taste of the infamous goalkeeper after he proudly confesses with zero hesitation.
“Good luck soldier,” Jori says while Jeongguk slowly gets up, removing the duvet that covers him.
“Thanks, I’m gonna need that.”
They both hum in agreement as Jeongguk leaves the living room and heads to his closet, aiming to find an ugly sweater. He digs as deep as ever, certain something is laying at the bottom, and he’s right. Jeongguk pulls out a horrendous Christmas-themed sweater. Perfect in his opinion. At least now, he’ll be able to use it instead of the sweater collecting dust in the bottom of his closet.
“Okay, you ready to go Hector?”
Ryu and Jori have paused the film, both turned to face the kitchen where Hector is searching for a cheap bottle of wine to take on the go.
“Hector wants to fuck Namjoon tonight,” Ryu chirps in, a smile plastered on his face while Hector’s is the complete opposite. His cheeks have turned a bright shade of red at the mention of Kim Namjoon.
“Ryu! What the fuck?!”
“I did not need to hear that. Let’s not forget he’s my teammate.”
“Exactly. Gosh, Ryu you and your vulgar mouth sometimes,” Hector says even though Ryu is ninety percent right in his observation. Hector does want to end up getting lucky.
Ryu shrugs, his eyes returning back to the screen as Jeongguk pushes Hector towards the door. This could go on for hours if they don’t leave at this moment and frankly, Jeongguk would rather not go to this party. He would much rather watch the famous ending of The Breakfast Club and scream out the lyrics with his roommates as Bender raises his fist in the air in the middle of the football field.
“Hector, let’s just go.”
Jeongguk manages to get them both out of the door as their roommates snort in the background over Hector’s obvious and immense crush on Kim Namjoon.
Kim Namjoon is the definition of a hot guy with a great personality that keeps you hooked on a leash. Jeongguk still remembers the gossip he overheard from a few students, going off about his dimples and the way he’s broadly built. So when Hector blurted out that he’s caught a teeny tiny crush on the famous goalkeeper, Jeongguk wasn’t surprised.
Jeongguk knows Namjoon is a good guy, he’s one of the only guys along with Yoongi whom he talks to from the team other than during practice. And even though it feels a tad bit weird that his roommate of all people is seeing Namjoon, he doesn’t mind it. If Namjoon were to be a dick, Jeongguk wouldn’t hesitate to make sure Hector doesn’t go near him. But truthfully speaking, he internally hopes Hector gets a piece of Namjoon tonight because Ryu wasn’t kidding when he said that Hector wants nothing more than to date him (and get fucked, hopefully).
“My sweater isn’t that ugly right? I still look hot, yeah?” Hector is rambling as they reach the front door of Hoseok’s apartment. Jeongguk studies Hector’s outfit, the green knitted sweater with a few silly garlands around it isn’t even remotely bad for an ugly sweater.
“You look fine, Hector. At least you’re not wearing mine.” Jeongguk smiles to convince him that it could’ve been worse and that seems to do the trick. His happiness shines through his face again, ringing on the doorbell with certainty.
It’s Park Jimin who opens the door and before they get a chance to say hello, he cracks a laugh, almost dropping his red cup as he tilts his head backwards.
“T-That’s the best ugly sweater I have ever seen, Jeongguk.” He points directly to the white letters, spelling out ‘Nut Buster’.
It was the only one Jeongguk owned. He had accidentally bought it off a shitty website while drunk on tequila. Since then he’s reminded himself to never have access to his computer while intoxicated. Then again, he couldn’t care less what Park Jimin is saying — he’s just content with the fact he can even use it in the first place.
Jeongguk decides to curtsy as Jimin continuously laughs, hitting him on the shoulder to keep himself from falling down due to his uncontrollable laughter.
“Shit—okay, my bad but come on in! Glad you could bring Jeongguk, Hector. I don’t know how you did it, but you gotta teach me your magic skills.” Jimin smiles, pushing the door much wider as the three of them walk in.
“I owe him, or else I wouldn’t even be here, Park.”
“Well, thank fuck for that! Let’s get you two drunk.”
The first thing Jeongguk realizes when they step in is that the theme is not ugly sweater. People are wearing mediocre sweaters and Jeongguk comes to an understanding as to why Jimin was laughing that hard. Fuck. Hector better get laid tonight or Jeongguk just came here for pure embarrassment.
“Namjoon is over by the beer pong table, just so you know.” Jimin’s smirk proves that he’s heard of the cute little dates Hector and Namjoon have shared and for a moment Hector’s smile falters quicker than lighting.
“Wha—”
“Thank you Jimin! But we need a drink first, right Hector?” He nods, his lips curling into a semi-smile as Jeongguk saves him from explaining anything regarding Namjoon.
Hector is already frustrated enough as it is. Talking about Namjoon to none other than his close friend and teammate wouldn’t possibly diffuse the situation. Hector would probably end up in doubt if this is even something , and he has a tendency to overthink a tad bit too much sometimes. But it comes from a good place, because Hector cares a lot .
“Sure, follow me boys.”
As they trail behind Jimin, Jeongguk grabs Hector’s hand so he doesn’t start fidgeting out of nervousness. He whispers a thank you as the kitchen island comes into view.
Jeongguk and Hector agree with starting strong. It’s Hector’s idea, him opening the cheap bottle of wine and pouring a big amount in two red solo cups. Jeongguk groans as he sniffs the white wine, immediately regretting being here in the first place. Hector encourages him to take the sip in one go and once Jeongguk does, it tastes bitter at the tip of his tongue.
“Fuck! Okay, we’re doing this Jeongguk.”
Before he gets to ask, Hector pulls him away as Jimin shouts out good luck to the both of them. What is he on about?
It’s not until Jeongguk catches a glimpse of what’s in front of Hector that he wishes he’d stay back at home.
Fuck. Biggest fuck.
“Namjoon, hi!”
Namjoon reciprocates with a dimple-filled smile and a tight hug. The interaction quickly reminds Jeongguk why he’s here. He can do this. Be a good friend to Hector. He really needs it.
Jeongguk greets Namjoon right after, ignoring the person standing on the opposite side of the table.
All goes well until Hector acknowledges him.
“Taehyung!”
Jeongguk flinches at the name, plotting a way for him to go back home without offending his roommate.
“Hector! Glad you could come, and with—Oh. Jeon.” His smile falters immediately when they gain eye contact and the air feels more stuffy than earlier.
Kim fucking Taehyung. A striker on the team, accompanied by two great titles; fuckboy and dickhead all in one. Naturally that makes him the worst person in the world in Jeongguk’s eyes.
It’s mutual, of course. Because while Jeongguk stays far away from Taehyung’s reach outside of practice, Taehyung does the same, wanting absolutely nothing to do with him.
It’s only on the field that they’re even near one another. Jeongguk is a striker just like Taehyung, and for the team to even play well, they have to pass the ball to one another when an attacker gets near.
If you were to see one of their games, you wouldn’t believe that the two strikers can’t stand each other, because one thing is for certain; they both love winning, and for them to do so in the first place it requires that teamwork is exceeded perfection.
Jeongguk knows hate is a strong word and he barely dislikes anyone. But with Taehyung? The term naturally sticks . Whenever Taehyung starts talking, he immediately blocks out his ears because all that ever comes out of Taehyung’s mouth are his recent sexcapade. At this point, Jeongguk is certain that Taehyung’s personality is how many people are interested in him, and who got lucky enough to fuck him.
Jeongguk wants to respond bitterly, but for the sake of Hector and Namjoon he decides to not start anything, settling on pure ignorance instead.
“How about we play some beer pong?” Namjoon suggests quickly before the small space gets filled to the brim with awkwardness. Hector agrees with him on the idea, nodding excitedly.
“Jeon, you’re with me,” Taehyung says. Jeongguk is just about to question why when he’s grabbed harshly by the bicep, Taehyung’s breath landing softly by his earlobe. “I need those two fuckers to fucking get on with it. Because if they don’t I’ll gain a permanent headache when I hear Namjoon whine about Hector after tonight.”
And frankly, Jeongguk can agree with that. Hector has been whining himself since their first date when Namjoon dropped him off by the apartment without a kiss, instead settling for a hug and Hector had tried to suppress a cry when he brushed his teeth roughly, thinking his breath stank too much. Jeongguk had to deal with that at around midnight, and yeah, he doesn’t want that to ever happen again.
“First, let fucking go.” Jeongguk responds with gritted teeth, Hector and Namjoon ignoring their weird encounter, settling on a small flirtation back and forth, paired with blushes.
Taehyung rolls his eyes, removing his strong grip around Jeongguk's bicep.
“Second, you’re gonna shut your mouth and let me do the talking because one thing is for certain, you’re too impulsive for this shit to work.” Jeongguk bites harshly, and Taehyung clearly suppresses the urge to roll his eyes again, instead settling on clenching his jaw with a painful nod.
“Good,” Jeongguk turns his back to him, facing Namjoon and Hector who are at the opposite side of the table. “How about we make this game more fun?”
It quickly catches both of their attentions, eyes bulging out and Jeongguk can filter out the panic his roommate is currently experiencing towards the evident road Jeongguk is trying to make them take.
“Like?”
“Losers have to do seven minutes in heaven,” Jeongguk crosses his arms, thinking he’s absolutely nailed this.
“We’re not in fifth grade, Jeon.” Taehyung complains, just to be a total buzzkill of his dare.
“Actually—” Hector starts off, a sly smirk on his face and Jeongguk has a bad fucking feeling about this. “Sounds fun.”
“You’re on,” Taehyung cuts off any word Jeongguk is about to say to remove the cliché childish game as if they’re in high school rather than university, and suggest something more… wild. Seems like that’s out of the question because Taehyung begins to fill the cups while Jeongguk toys with the plastic ball in between his fingers.
“You better not miss, Jeon.”
“I never do.”
“Isn’t this your first time playing?”
Jeongguk bites on his tongue. “Your point?”
“All right, we’re ready when you are!” Namjoon says excitedly, leaning forward while Hector continues to sip occasionally from the cheap wine.
Jeongguk has seen tons of beer pong games during freshman year, and sure, he’s never played, but that doesn’t immediately make him a bad player. Beer pong doesn’t seem to be that hard, it’s all about aiming right, and Jeongguk has had a good aim since he was five years old and shot his first soccer ball into the net back in Busan.
“Okay.” Jeongguk places himself in the middle, shutting an eye to get a more precise view on the cups and just as he’s about to shoot, Taehyung moves to stand behind him.
“Kim, stop breathing down my fucking neck.”
Even though Jeongguk can’t see him, he can tell he’s mocking him behind his back, Namjoon and Hector’s reactions a clear giveaway as they both try and bite back a giggle.
With a final sigh, Jeongguk tosses the ball and it lands perfectly down in the front cup.
Namjoon and Hector share a look before Namjoon is the one to take it and downs it in one go.
“What was that about me missing, again?” Jeongguk asks with a bitter tone that Taehyung quickly catches as he scoffs.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
The game continues on, Namjoon and Hector surprising both of them with great aims and Taehyung seems to be a professional, yet to miss one. So maybe he has a reason to brag, but it doesn’t make him more likable.
And then it gets really intense. They’re both standing with one cup each. Taehyung cracks his neck before he grabs onto the ping pong ball, about to aim and Jeongguk isn’t one ounce worried. Kim Taehyung will get the last cup and Hector will finally get that godforsaken kiss from Namjoon in the storage room closet.
“Thank me later!” Taehyung says in a cocky tone before throwing the ball with a direct aim. Jeongguk is already on his toes, ready to jump in victory but it never seems to happen because for the first time, Taehyung misses, the ping pong ball tilting on the rim rather than plopping directly down in the foamy beer.
“Kim! What the fuck was that?!” Jeongguk is now yelling, infuriated because if Namjoon gets it, he’ll have to be the one stuck in a closet with Taehyung of all people, which is in Jeongguk’s dictionary, worse than hell.
“We’re fine, Joon-hyung will miss.” Taehyung’s demeanor is nothing but nonchalant and Jeongguk only begins to stress out even more, certain that fate has other plans. It’s like this bug in his stomach that won’t seem to leave since Namjoon has retrieved the plastic ball, returning to the table with a grin.
Jeongguk can’t watch. He feels his throat has gone dry, which is ironic because beer does the opposite of that and it’s all he’s been drinking the past thirty minutes.
Taehyung fixes his snapback, shrugging when Namjoon says something that Jeongguk doesn’t catch, too focused on praying to the universe that Kim Namjoon will fucking miss.
“Hector, blow on it.”
“What?”
“For good luck.”
Hector grins, leaning forward and blowing carefully and then Namjoon straightens his back, arm in position and he shoots.
Everything happens so fast Jeongguk doesn’t even catch it, not until Hector and Namjoon scream in victory and Taehyung’s eyes are wide and staring down at the cup.
“Thank me later!” Namjoon parrots Taehyung’s earlier words and Jeongguk immediately sends daggers in Taehyung’s direction.
“Joon-hyung will miss,” Jeongguk mocks his earlier words. “God, you’re so full of shit!” He pushes his shoulder with one hand that seems to set a bomb off in Taehyung.
“Come on you two. You owe us seven minutes in heaven.” Hector sing-songs, cutting off whatever Taehyung was about to say that highly would’ve resulted in an aggravated fight in the middle of the kitchen.
Taehyung doesn’t say a word when he makes a beeline to the storage room, Jeongguk trailing behind while silently cursing the universe for this bullshit.
When Namjoon opens the door, he places a hand on Taehyung’s chest. “Don’t kill each other, please,” he sends a warning look to Taehyung who’s probably fuming with anger.
“Whatever, hyung. Put on a timer.” And then they both step in, the tiny lightbulb attached to the ceiling with a string being pulled by Taehyung before Namjoon shuts the door.
“We’ll be back!” Hector shouts from the other side and Jeongguk hopes that it’s so he can finally confess to Namjoon so that not all is doomed tonight.
Taehyung leans against the wall next to the vacuum, while Jeongguk stands closest to the door, counting the cracks from the chipped white paint on it.
Some NewJeans song is playing in the living room where Hoseok has created one hell of a dance floor, their mutual stomping creating a vibration in the floor.
“If I walk out of here and Hector still hasn’t confessed to Namjoon, I’m killing you in an instant.” Jeongguk is not letting this conversation go, and it seems that neither is Taehyung when he’s quick to respond.
“Well, if it weren’t for you we wouldn’t even be in a closet in the first place.”
Jeongguk turns at that. “What?!”
“You heard me. Fucking childish game instead of, I don’t know, body shots like a normal person would suggest.”
“No, only high level fuckboys with a dickbag personality would suggest that.” Jeongguk crosses his arms. “And let’s not forget who missed their shot.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
Jeongguk thinks they’re back to square one, which is no talking, but Taehyung clearly isn’t done.
“I might be a fuckboy, but at least I’m not some stuck-up who licks Coach’s ass like it’s their fucking job.”
Jeongguk can’t help but laugh because he’s anything but that. “You can’t be fucking serious.”
Taehyung gives him a look that proves otherwise.
“Well, then I’m so sorry for being passionate about soccer and always wanting us to be the best of the best, Kim.” Jeongguk’s tone is filled with sarcasm, aimed to toss Taehyung directly in a pile of dirt, and it seems to be working because Taehyung takes a step forward, removing his back from the wall.
“And I’m sorry for getting laid constantly, which is why I’m not a stuck-up bitch like you. Is that what this is about, Jeon?” Taehyung steps closer, Jeongguk’s back hitting the door, knocking the air out from his lungs.
“What.”
“You know, I could help you with that.” Taehyung takes another step. “Bet my cock could make you shut up for once, but you’re too much of a conceited asshole for that, no?”
Jeongguk’s breath hitches by the vulgarity leaping out from Taehyung’s mouth and before he can respond with whatever the fuck comes to mind, the door opens making him fall backwards and stumble onto Namjoon.
“Oh look! You’re both alive. Guess you guys can stand each other somehow.” Namjoon jokes which neither find funny. Taehyung isn’t staring at Jeongguk anymore, instead shrugging and walking towards the dance floor probably to dance with Jimin and Hoseok.
Jeongguk touches his face with both hands, realizing he’s burning up and he wishes it was because of the heat in the cozy apartment linked with fifty people but sadly, it’s about some certain words that have pulled all strings.
Before he can even process what just happened in the storage room, Hector tugs at Jeongguk excitedly, telling him that he and Namjoon came up with a drink that will blow his mind.
It’s then he notices how their fingers are intertwined, paired with swollen lips as Jeongguk turns to meet them eye to eye.
Well, at least something good happened tonight.
“Jeon Jeongguk! Get in here, now!”
The high pitched shouting from Ryu doesn’t go unnoticed early in the morning on a Saturday and Jeongguk might as well delete the clock app on his phone, seeing his roommate just signed himself up for the job of an alarm.
“What?!” Jeongguk groans into his pillow as he hugs it around his face.
Instead of Ryu shouting again, which Jeongguk expects, he stomps to his bedroom, opening the door in an instant and plopping down aggressively onto his bed.
“Come on! We have to celebrate. Hector finally got a piece of Kim Namjoon.” Ryu is more excited than all of them combined, and yes, that includes Hector.
“Can it wait? It’s like…” Jeongguk has no sense of time but catching a glimpse with a squinted eye and seeing nothing but white, he can easily guess it’s around, “nine in the morning.”
“Eight, but close enough. And no, it can’t wait. Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting for this? First semester, Jeonggukie.” Ryu gets up, holding onto his ankles, and before Jeongguk can warn him, he’s immediately dragged backwards, his ass landing down with a thump onto his gray rug.
“You owe me coffee for this,” Jeongguk yawns, rubbing his swollen eyes.
“On it, chief.”
His bangs are shriveled, bouncing on top of his head as he moves to stand, still drowsy from the early waking.
Jori is already annoying Hector, who’s hugging into a pillow, probably to hide his obvious blush at the ongoing conversation about Namjoon.
“Mornin’,” Jeongguk mumbles, slumping down on the couch and yawning once more in his sleeve before Jori decides to speak up.
“Someone had a wild night.”
“Yeah well, blame the game of beer pong I played so that Hector and Namjoon could finally have the balls to do that shit.”
“Which failed miserably.”
Jeongguk groans, covering his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Don’t remind me.”
But that’s all it does. And especially a certain someone’s words that had haunted him in his sleep last night.
Bet my cock could make you shut up.
Jeongguk hasn’t even been able to process Taehyung’s offer—not that it’s even a real one to begin with, because of course the other used the opportunity to throw him down onto literal train tracks by hurting his ego.
And that’s exactly why he’s not taking it to heart, completely unfazed instead. Even though it was certainly a first that their bickering took a route to end up remotely sexual, so it’s no wonder Jeongguk was taken aback, but that barely lasted a minute.
Okay, five tops.
And maybe for a good minute before he fell asleep. It’s a thing Jeongguk does whenever he’s about to lay down and go to bed. He reminisces about his evening, just like a child counting sheep, and what Taehyung said in the storage room counts as a part of it, unfortunately.
Absolutely no other reason.
Also, if Taehyung did mean it, he would’ve probably done more than just spew nonsense, right? Not that Jeongguk wants it to happen, absolutely not—it’s Kim for fucks sake.
“Well I’m officially intrigued. What happened?”
“No! Nothing. We’re here to celebrate the two lovebirds who smooched for the first time yesterday, not me losing in a ridiculous game of beer pong.” Jeongguk tries to shut it down, finding it unnecessary for Hector to be bringing up how he ended up in a storage room with Kim fucking Taehyung for a dare that wasn’t even supposed to be for them.
Luckily enough, just as Hector is about to announce what happened that night between Jeongguk and Taehyung, Ryu returns with his coffee and plops down in between him and Hector.
“So, tell us everything. Actually, let's take it from the beginning. This is way too good.” Ryu is very invested, and Jeongguk sips silently, ignoring the excitement happening beside him.
“Well, I should say that Jeongguk was indeed a savior that night, because if it wasn’t for his idea of adding a seven minutes in heaven dare to the losers, then Namjoon and I would’ve barely gotten some time alone in the first place.”
“Seven minutes in heaven? With who?” Ryu asks and now Jeongguk can’t run away from it anymore.
Fine, he’ll just leave out some crucial details.
“Kim Taehyung.”
“T-Taehyung from your soccer team? The one you—”
“Absolutely hate? Yes.” Jeongguk continues to sip on his coffee, a way for him to avoid talking further about something that is completely irrelevant.
“How close were you to killing him? You can tell me.” Ryu looks at him with a grin and Jeongguk ignores the question, looking away as he continues to drink the warm beverage.
“Fine. Then what happened?”
“Namjoon took me back to the kitchen and we started talking about different liquors and then, I just told him that I like him, and he kissed me.” Hector buries his head back in the cushion while Ryu and Jori scream in excitement, Jeongguk almost spilling his coffee all over himself.
“Fucking finally. So what now? Are you guys going out or…” Jori takes the lead.
“Well, he did invite me to this cabin trip during the fall break with some from the Red Devils.”
Ryu raises an eyebrow. “Jeongguk? Did you know about this?”
“Yeah, it’s this annual trip they do. I never went.” Jeongguk shrugs like it’s not important, and it isn’t for him, but with the looks from his roommates he’s doubting his answer.
“You haven’t?!”
Jeongguk swallows a clump in his throat. “No…”
“Well, this year you should, no? Could be fun, and Hector is going!” Ryu encourages even though he knows Jeongguk already planned to stream One Piece all break and never leave his room unless it’s to go down to the convenience store to buy some kimbap.
“I don’t know.”
“Actually, Namjoon said I should invite you and Jori. There’s space for like twenty people in that cabin.” Hector intervenes.
“Sick! I’m in.” Ryu is quick to jump into the idea. He’s nothing but impulsive. If he had other plans, he would’ve found a way around them to land in these instead. Hence the impulsive title.
“Yeah, I’d love to.” Jori agrees, getting up to make some more tea for the group and that’s when Ryu and Hector stare down at Jeongguk.
“What.”
“You’re coming with us, there’s no way out of this.” Ryu settles, clasping a hand onto his thigh and Jeongguk whines in protest.
Despite this, they’re quick to shut him down, loudly voicing various reasons for him to come; including spending quality time together, and the fact it’s their first real trip together as roommates.
“Okay, fine!”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Hector was definitely not kidding when he said the cabin had enough space for twenty people. The house is one of the biggest Jeongguk has seen: two floors and a big patio with a small path towards the lake.
Jeongguk knew Hoseok was rich, he just didn’t know he was rich.
“Holy shit!?” Ryu says when he pulls the car to a stop in the driveway.
Hoseok comes out from the front door to greet them properly, waving excitedly as the rest of the boys join him, and soon Jeongguk catches sight of Taehyung again.
The week after the incident, everything pretty much returned to normal. Taehyung still talked about his hookups like he was paid for it, and Jeongguk kept a respectful distance, wanting nothing to do with it.
Over time, Jeongguk didn’t spare the moment in the storage room a single thought, focusing on soccer and his studies instead.
And now they’re here, on fall break, about to spend four days in Hoseok’s aunt’s cabin.
Jeongguk had attempted to pack light, but as soon as Ryu had caught sight of his backpack, he had insisted that Jeongguk go repack and bring a larger bag. Because even if it was only a four day trip, you never know .
So instead of Jeongguk bringing two pairs of pants, he brings five.
When they all step out of the car, Jeongguk goes straight for the baggage claim to collect his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as the rest of his roommates greet his teammates excitedly.
They had met a few times throughout the first semester but it had never gone this far as to be stuck in the same place for a few days. Jeongguk could tell that his roommates being here made the scene more pleasant.
“Thanks for inviting us,” Ryu is the first to say, when he squeezes Hoseok in a tight hug.
“No problem! Come in, I’ll show you around, then you can pick rooms.”
Jori walks towards Jeongguk, helping out as they collect the baggage to bring inside.
Hector doesn’t hesitate to wrap his hands around Namjoon's neck as he embraces him in a warm hug which makes everyone around them coo and cheer.
Seems like everyone has been waiting for ages for them to get their shit together.
Everyone follows Hoseok inside the house, small conversations breaking up the silence as they move around and get their assigned rooms.
“This must have cost a fortune!” Ryu comments when he notices the expensive paintings and decorations in the living room as they walk by to go upstairs. There are eight bedrooms in total.
“Yeah, my aunt still doesn’t want to tell me how much this is.” Hoseok chuckles. “Alright, there are three rooms left available. I take it Hector and Namjoon can share, just don’t get too loud, okay? Some of us are still single and rotting.”
Laughter erupts around them as Namjoon scratches the back of his neck in nervousness while Hector hides his face in the crook of his it.
Ryu thanks Hoseok before he moves to the first room he sees, Jori moving along and that leaves Jeongguk with the room right by the stairs. And it’s more than okay until he realizes who his neighbor is.
“Don’t kill each other, this is supposed to be a vacation okay? There’s a wall for a reason.”
Jeongguk grits his teeth when Taehyung throws a grin in his direction. “We’ll be fine, right Jeonggukie?”
“Watch your mouth, Kim.”
“Guys, come on. We haven’t even been here for a day and you guys are already starting to piss me off,” Yoongi says suddenly, groaning loudly when Taehyung lifts his arms in surrender.
“Don’t look at me hyung, I’m just being nice.”
“You call that, nice?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.
“I’m making some lunch, is kimchi fried rice okay?” Seokjin pipes in, already putting on an apron beneath the stairs, looking at the crowd.
“Sounds great,” Hoseok beams, following Seokjin in the kitchen to help him out, whereas the rest go back to their rooms to unpack and change.
“Well, neighbor, try not to be too loud, okay?” Taehyung says with an annoying tone just as he’s about to shut his door.
“Loud? Says the fuckboy.”
“At least I fuck rather than yap.”
Jeongguk scoffs in offense. “You—”
Taehyung shuts the door in his face, leaving Jeongguk stranded in the hallway.
This is going to be four days in straight up hell.
Lunch goes by smoothly, Ryu and Jori settling nicely with Jeongguk’s teammates. Despite it being Fall, there’s sun shining through the large windows that lead to an outside patio with couches and chairs. There seems to be a jacuzzi as well, wrapped up.
Hoseok suggests a hike for anyone who wants to join, and Namjoon, Hector, Jori and Yoongi end up taking him up on the offer.
Ryu and Jeongguk decide to play a board game while Seokjin bakes cookies, Taehyung and Jimin sitting on the counter chatting loudly.
“Are you sure that Taehyung is the guy you hate, because…” Ryu looks behind him, Taehyung adjusting his annoying baseball cap that he wears backwards like the cliché pompous asshole he is.
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“Jeongguk. He’s fucking hot.” He whispers the last word, raising his eyebrows to make a statement and Jeongguk moves closer, annoyance reaching his ears.
“Well, I’m sure you’re his type. You have a pulse,” Jeongguk mutters, annoyed. He focuses back on the board game and notices that Ryu is clearly winning.
“Shut up, he literally looks at you whenever you aren’t looking.”
Now that makes Jeongguk pause completely.
“What—” He clears his throat. “What do you mean by that?”
“Come on, it’s obvious that you guys just need to fuck it out. Taehyung seems well aware of that.”
Jeongguk chokes on his own spit, the words from a few weeks ago returning and ringing loudly in his ears.
Bet my cock could make you shut up for once.
“Jeongguk.”
“Hm?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me? You’re doing that thing that you do with your face when you’re thinking.”
Damn Ryu for being so fucking observant.
“No no, just can we talk about something else?”
“All right, big boy.”
Ryu ends up winning against Jeongguk and it puts him in a bad mood, his sore loser tendencies showing rather quickly. Seokjin treats him to some warm cookies that he ingests with a frown on his face. Meanwhile, Jimin and Ryu talk about some k-drama they’re both watching currently.
Before they know it, the afternoon passes like a blur, Hoseok and the others returning from their hike all tired and hungry, Yoongi going straight to his bedroom for a nap.
The sun outside is about to set, multiple lights being turned on in the living room and around the house. Jeongguk can feel himself grow tired the more he slumps around in the living room, only focusing half on Hector and Jori’s discussion about what they’re doing for Christmas and when they should decorate the apartment.
“Hey, Jin hyung and I are gonna go to the store near here to buy some alcohol. Do any of you wanna join?”
“Sure.” Jeongguk figures it’s best if he does something with his afternoon and maybe also to distract himself from the fact Ryu beat him in a game that’s labeled “ages 7 and up”.
“Great!”
They all walk outside to the car, Jeongguk throwing a hoodie over his head and a beanie. Seokjin is the one to drive, settling in the front with Hoseok next to him and Jeongguk enters the back.
When Seokjin turns on the ignition, Hoseok looks outside his window. “Is that Taehyung?”
The shouting is distant when Taehyung gets closer to the car until he opens the door next to Jeongguk and doesn’t hesitate to sit down.
“Taehyung?”
“I need some stuff from the store.”
“What, condoms?”
Taehyung looks Jeongguk directly in the eyes before smiling. “Yes.”
Jeongguk gulps when a clump forms in his throat the longer he stares down at that fucking smile on Taehyung’s face. He thinks he might throw up, or maybe it’s just nervousness. Either way, there’s a patch of nerves in the pit of his stomach and not the good kind.
“We’re literally in the middle of nowhere,” Jeongguk points out, but Taehyung continues to carry that secretive smile that Jeongguk wants to rip off of his face.
“So?”
“Well I don’t think some chick will magically show up and want to fuck you.” Jeongguk drags it out. It’s stupid but buying condoms when they’re in a cabin, far away from the small store, is even dumber. So really, who’s the stupid one between the two? Exactly.
“Yeah well, the condoms are cheap there.” He reasons and Jeongguk is just about to throw another retort when Hoseok beats him to it.
“He’s not wrong. They are extremely cheap. He does this every year.”
Now, Jeongguk feels like the dumbest one in this car. Whatever, he shrugs it off, settling on watching the large trees beside the road.
Seokjin and Hoseok have a huge debate on whether baby pigeons exist or not, something about them being robots from the government to spy on all of us. Jeongguk manages to tune them out, especially since Taehyung decides to open his big mouth and add things to the conversation that are only incredibly stupid.
The store comes to view not much later, the large neon sign shining bright in yellow colors, flickering with age. Jeongguk is the first one to get out, wanting this to go as fast as possible but it seems to be a rather hard task when Taehyung takes his fucking time.
The store isn’t even big to begin with. Five different aisles for all the important items you need when you’re on the road, and that apparently also counts for condoms and lube.
Tons of fucking lube.
That’s the aisle where Taehyung has been standing the past ten minutes, Hoseok and Seokjin already having accumulated the alcohol that they need for their four day trip.
“Go tell him to hurry up.” Hoseok bumps into Jeongguk’s shoulder. Meanwhile the owner starts scanning one bottle of beer at a time.
“Fine.” He says through gritted teeth, walking over the aisle where Taehyung is tapping a finger at his chin.
“Come on, Kim. Stop being picky, we have to go back.”
Taehyung turns around for a split second, cracking a smirk before he cranes his neck back towards the different bottles of lube.
“I’m not being picky. I have a certain taste, unlike you.” That’s when he grabs the strawberry lube, reading the label and Jeongguk makes an exaggerated gagging noise.
“Flavored lube? Disgusting,” Jeongguk comments, continuing even after Taehyung scoffs in offense. “I feel bad for everyone you’ve been with. That shit not only tastes bad, but the smell? Absolutely not.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, grabbing two instead of one. “I shall have you know I have gained zero complaints about the lube I’ve used. It’s just you, meaning you’re absolutely wrong. Flavored lube is fun. But, oh right, you don’t know that word. Makes a lot of sense.” He smiles again, this time faking it on purpose to showcase Jeongguk something even worse than a prominent middle finger to his face.
“Sorry for being a normal person, Kim. There’s nothing wrong with plain lube, also it’s the cheapest one there is. Saves you a lot of money instead of flavored shit in a bottle.”
“I’m not discussing this with you if you’re not the one I’m fucking. Move out of my way, Jeon.”
The words are said so casually that Jeongguk loses all train of thought in what he originally wanted or could’ve said back. He’s thrown in an instant to the night where Taehyung had suggested to shut him up with his cock of all things. Not a punch, not a kick, no. His cock. Jeongguk needs to walk away, he’s gaining a heat stroke over this debate in the first place.
Lube of all things. What’s next? Dildos?
Maybe the words are also extremely effective because Jeongguk was certain that, one, Taehyung was drunk when he said it and two, he forgot .
Hoseok and Seokjin are almost done and Jeongguk grabs what’s already been checked out to the car, saving himself from watching Taehyung pick out lube and condoms.
The moment he’s sitting down in the car with the others, Taehyung walks out at a slow pace with a black plastic bag around his wrist. He seems to be whistling up until he opens the door.
“All settled in back there?”
“For a good five months. Thanks, hyung.” Taehyung claps Seokjin's shoulder playfully and Jeongguk hates himself for wanting to see exactly how much lube and condoms there are in that ridiculously small plastic bag.
The curiosity vanishes as soon as Hoseok opens his mouth again about a new debate, this time it’s about whether or not Bigfoot is real, because he could’ve sworn he’s seen one last year on a ski trip with his father and older brother.
Jeongguk for once joins in on the conversation, saying if Yeti isn’t real then neither is Bigfoot. For once, Taehyung is quiet.
“We’re playing never have I ever!” Hoseok shouts from the living room, placing down the bottles on the coffee table meanwhile everyone scurries to the big room.
They’re all in pajamas, having done a fun movie night right after dinner to let digest. Now it’s a few hours later, clock about to hit eleven in the evening. The lights are dimmed around them and Hoseok managed to make the ambiance very soothing for everyone, even though a game of never have I ever can end up as a terrible disaster.
It wouldn’t be such a terrible game for Jeongguk if his roommates weren’t there. But they know him better than anyone else, and have heard a lot more than his teammates. This is a ticket to hell and Jeongguk is shaking in his seat while pouring some vodka that he mixes with juice from the fridge.
Instead of asking questions themselves, Hoseok brought a deck of cards with specific questions that they all have to lose a point for saying yes and drink to say no.
They each have a little cardboard sheet in front of them that starts every player off with twenty points. With each passing yes, you cross one out. The one who loses first has to do a dare.
Thankfully, that’s not something they have to come up with either, as there’s a stack of cards with nothing but dares.
Plus, it saves them a lot of trouble and to have to be extremely imaginative the drunker they get.
Jori settles in between Jeongguk’s legs, sitting against the couch.
Ryu and Jimin sit together in excitement, meanwhile Taehyung is whispering things to Yoongi that has him rolling his eyes.
Hector and Namjoon are, of course, snuggling while Hector's lips trail on his neck that makes him giggle.
Hoseok is the only one by the other end of the coffee table, settling down for the game while Seokjin is still cleaning up after movie night.
When everyone gets their point board and a drink in hand, Hoseok grabs the first card and reads it out loud. “Never have I ever peed anywhere other than in a toilet or on the street.”
Jeongguk groans when Jori taps his legs, nonverbally reminding him of that one time he got stuck in the elevator in their building and couldn’t hold it in much longer. It’s one event Jeongguk didn’t want to reminisce about but here he is, saying yes to it while others drink in front of him. Taehyung is the only one beside him that also says a clear yes. It doesn’t surprise Jeongguk the slightest.
“Oh! I forgot to say, when you say yes you have to explain why and if you don’t want to, it counts as losing two points instead of one.” Hoseok says quickly, reading on the backside of the cardboard box of the game.
“I peed in a sink when a certain someone took their time in the bathroom.” Taehyung eyes down at Namjoon.
“Dude, I had a job interview that day. If I didn’t look great I wouldn’t have gotten it. Not my fault you have a small bladder and dare I say, zero patience,” Namjoon bites back, and that makes the whole room laugh meanwhile Taehyung bites down on the rim of his cup, mumbling a small whatever.
“And you, Jeongguk?” Hoseok seems to have his eyes out on everyone so neither can escape it.
“In an elevator. I got stuck and yeah, couldn’t really hold it in.”
“That’s disgusting.” Seokjin says between laughter and Jeongguk just shrugs. Better act like you don’t care than seem offended and embarrassed.
“Never have I ever slept with someone ten years older than me.” Hoseok raises both brows reading the question out loud, and it seems to be only Taehyung saying yes while everyone takes a sip.
Everyone waits for Taehyung to explain but instead he just takes a sip, losing two points that he crosses off.
“Bummer,” Hoseok mumbles under his breath getting rather excited to hear it, and Jeongguk is surprised by the sudden change in Taehyung.
Usually he never shuts up about who got a mouth or a hand around his dick, mostly a hole. But no, he’s quiet. Kim Taehyung being quiet is like Shakespeare not writing tragedies.
“Never have I ever gotten laid more than five times in one night.”
“Yes. Jesus, this game is only attacking me. Pick better cards, hyung,” Taehyung complains while the group takes a sip in silence.
“Fine, then pick one, Taehyungie.” Hoseok hands him the deck, giggling as Taehyung huffs under his breath, grabbing one in the middle for pure coincidence.
“All right. Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.”
Everyone exclaims a loud yes at the question, taking turns on explaining their tattoos to each other. Yoongi has a whole sleeve decorated with his favorite music artists and lyrics. Namjoon has just one on his thigh, his parents' birth year. Jimin has a few on his ribs and torso, going off about each detail. Ryu has a snake tail on his back, explaining how drunk Jeongguk got him to make it less painful at the appointment, even though he ended up puking the minute they got home. Seokjin has one on his shoulder, matching with Hoseok after a drunken night out. Jori has his star sign behind his ear and then Jeongguk explains his sleeve, shortly.
He feels an intense gaze drilling onto his arm and that’s when he catches Taehyung licking his lips as Jeongguk moves his arm, pointing a finger down on each one that melts together. He feels his throat grow tighter the more Taehyung stares.
And then it’s Taehyung’s turn and Jeongguk wishes he had looked away. Taehyung pulls up the material of his short black shorts, exposing the different thigh tattoos adorning his skin.
It feels like a trap. Jeongguk doesn’t know why but it does, and especially when Taehyung licks his lips, looking at Jeongguk when he drags his slender fingers on the exposed skin.
Fuck .
He’s onto him. There’s no other way around it. Focus, Jeongguk.
Mentally slapping himself knocks him back in his place, looking at the liquor in his cup, taking a sip just because . But in reality it’s to make him stop thinking about what the tattoos would look like beneath him as he rides—
“Never have I ever cut my own hair,” Hoseok reads aloud, stopping Jeongguk’s train of thoughts. He can’t even believe he let himself think this way.
This is Kim Taehyung. Wake up, Jeongguk.
“Yes! I still have the video when I cut my own bangs. Never again, though,” Seokjin exclaims while everyone takes a sip.
While Hoseok finds another question, Seokjin’s phone goes around to show the video where he’s using kitchen scissors to chop off the ends of his hair.
“They’re not even bad!” Jori comments and Seokjin raises an eyebrow.
“Of course not. Can’t do anything wrong when your name is Seokjin.”
Namjoon slaps Seokjin’s shoulder, probably tired of his overly confident self.
“Ah, this one is fun.” Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows when everyone grows quiet to hear it. “Never have I ever worn a thong.”
Ryu’s eyes brighten up and Jeongguk is so fucked.
“Hey! Why are you drinking Jeonggukie?”
He’s officially removing Ryu from the list of best friends and roommates.
“That was not a thong,” Jeongguk defends but it doesn’t seem to lessen Ryu’s excitement in getting him thrown in the big, deep puddle of embarrassment.
“Now, now. You don’t have to explain but you shouldn’t lie.” Ryu raises an eyebrow when Jeongguk dares to say yes.
“It was a speedo. There’s a difference.”
“Speedos don’t have lace. Just say yes, Jeongoo.” Jori slaps his knee and Jeongguk catches the way Taehyung licks his lips, adjusting his pants when it’s revealed that yes, it was a thong.
“Fine. Yes. Happy now?”
“Very,” Ryu grins against his palm.
Thankfully he escapes the need to explain himself. That’s the last thing he’s doing.
“Well, I never saw that one coming,” Hoseok jokes and Jeongguk just bites down on his bottom lip in annoyance.
“Never have I ever tried naked yoga.”
Jori grins as he answers yes as the only one. “It’s actually quite freeing.”
“Noted, maybe I should try it out one day. What do you say, hyung? Are you down?” Hoseok grins when Seokjin’s makes a noise out of protest.
“Separately.”
“Mhm,” Hoseok doesn’t drag it out, grabbing another card. “Never have I ever done something to impress someone else.”
Taehyung groans and Yoongi laughs for the very first time since they started this game. Oh this is bad.
“Yes. There was this really pretty girl that loved golf and I lied and I told her I’ve played it for years and so we went on a date and I failed terribly.” Taehyung finishes it, crossing off a point and Yoongi shakes his head.
“That’s not all of it.”
Taehyung sends him a cold glare. “I continued to play golf afterwards just to get laid and impress her. It worked and now I’m a pro at golf.”
Jeongguk shakes his head because of course Taehyung would go to a certain extent just to get his dick wet. It’s quite impressive, to be honest. Now he’s a pro at golf because the pussy just had to be wrapped around him.
“You’re about to lose, Taehyungie. Ouchie,” Hoseok notes and that’s when everyone notices Taehyung is the one with the least amount of points on his scoreboard.
“Shit.”
“Never have I ever said the wrong name in bed.”
Taehyung is definitely losing this. Jeongguk can see how he’s gripping hard around his cup, probably wondering what kind of dare lies beneath the card that he has to accomplish before they all crash down.
“Yes, and I’m not explaining myself.”
The game goes on for another hour, many of the questions targeting Taehyung especially, and then he’s down to four points until his cardboard is empty.
“Never have I ever had a piercing.”
“Yes.”
Jori starts off first, explaining his bridge piercing and how much it hurt the first weeks after he had it done. Ryu goes on a rant about his nose piercing and the cleaning progress.
Jeongguk reminds everyone how he had looked with his head down in a bowl of salt water for eight minutes every day of the first six months. It’s a payback of some sort when Ryu gains a blush and hides his face in Jimin’s chest shouting at Jeongguk and telling him to shut up.
Jeongguk admits to having one but doesn’t say where and the raise in Taehyung’s eyebrow stays put even as he’s about to answer for himself.
“Well, I lost a bet and got my dick pierced.” Taehyung says it so casually while Jeongguk’s mouth slacks in a dramatic drop.
His dick has a what now?
“I removed it after a few months.”
“Only because you fucked the piercer and they were a bad lay and the piercing reminded you of it.” Jimin exposes Taehyung fully and this makes a lot of sense why Ryu and Jimin click so well. They’re both incredibly shameless when it comes to their best friends.
“Well thanks Minnie,” Taehyung rolls his eyes and they proceed with the game.
It’s when Taehyung stands with one point that everyone is fully drunk. The words are more slurred between them, giggles erupting faster and Hector and Namjoon have gotten more handsy.
“Last one. Taehyungie you’re gonna lose,” Hoseok hiccups before he picks up one more card from the deck, reading it out. “Never have I ever had a threesome.”
Taehyung isn’t the only one to say yes, Yoongi joining him and Seokjin too.
Yoongi and Seokjin don’t go into detail because Taehyung has lost either way.
“Fuck this game!” Taehyung pulls his hair, slumping back down onto the couch and spreading his legs.
Jeongguk gulps down a clump of spit at the sudden view. Taehyung’s neck is strained, exposing a few moles painted on it. His shorts have rolled up by the action, exposing one of the tattoos he has on his thigh.
“Dare for Taehyungie baby!” Jimin grabs the deck, picking a random card. “The game of never have I ever dares you to jump into the nearest pool.”
“In this weather? No way.”
“Hey, come on. It’s fun and it’s just the lake. Just run until you can dip and come back up.” Hoseok suggests so simply and Seokjin adds in, explaining that they’ll be holding a warm towel ready for Taehyung when he comes back up so he won’t catch a cold.
Somehow it convinces him and Taehyung gets up, followed by everyone behind him. Jori wraps an arm around Jeongguk as they walk down with the rest, hands in the pockets of their pants and hoodies.
It’s completely dark outside, their phones in hand with the flashlight feature in use. Thankfully it’s a few steps until the lake appears. It’s really just a small path.
“All right, Taehyungie. Whenever you’re ready!”
Taehyung doesn’t waste another second, throwing his t-shirt over his head and removing his black shorts, remaining in his Calvin Klein boxers. His neck is decorated by a gold chain with a pendant—a green pearl to be exact.
Jeongguk doesn’t catch any more because, then he runs. Goes straight for it, diving into the lake and coming back up, drenched and shouting over how fucking cold it is and that he regrets everything. Seokjin wraps his arms around Taehyung and pats him down with the warmth he’s providing.
When they’re all back in the house, Taehyung is still visibly shaking and turns to walk upstairs to take a warm shower.
At that moment, Seokjin throws him his clothes, and that’s when Jeongguk catches sight of the prominent bulge in Taehyung’s soaked Calvins.
He hates himself for looking down but it’s like this annoying reflex.
At least, that’s what he blames it on.
The thing is, the bulge isn’t even small, which would make a lot of sense since dicks shrink when they’re met with anything cold.
So how the fuck does Taehyung’s cock look big when it’s supposed to be—Jeongguk stops himself from thinking further because it’s stupid that he’s wondering about this in the first place. The more he’s in over his head about it, the more he’ll end up making a bad decision.
Ryu and Jeongguk decide to hang out with Jori a bit longer while the others have resigned to their bedrooms. They’re sobering up, drinking water and eating kimbap that Seokjin made as an afternoon snack.
“Dude, your teammates are so fun. Can’t believe you don’t hang out with them more.” Ryu says, mouth full of kimbap.
“Yeah they’re…” Jeongguk pauses, realizing how much fun it’s been even though Taehyung has been on his ass this whole time, clouding his mind and overtaking it, which usually never happens to Jeongguk. “They’re great. We always have fun on the field, just didn’t expect to be more than that.”
“It’s good to know you don’t regret coming here.” Jori shuffles closer to Jeongguk and lies down on his arm.
“Yeah, I don’t. At least not anymore.”
Then the conversation diverts, Ryu explaining how much fun he’s been having with Jimin and that they’re going out when they come back from fall break. Jori talks a bit about a date he had and that the girl left the moment she found out he was asexual.
“It’s not your fault, Jori.”
“I know. I don't know, I just wish my sexuality didn’t stand in the way of my dating life, but it really does most times.”
Jeongguk runs a hand through his curly hair. “Don’t say that. Someone out there will love every part of you.” He kisses his forehead and Jori thanks Jeongguk for his kindness and the support Ryu voices out when they talk more about dating in general.
When the conversation turns a bit lighter and Jori has fallen asleep on Jeongguk’s shoulder, Taehyung emerges from his bedroom, walking down the stairs in oversized sweatpants, a snapback, and no fucking shirt. The golden necklace shines bright under the living room lights, and Jeongguk hates himself for staring so much, but so is Ryu beside him.
“Hey, sorry. Just grabbing some water.”
It doesn’t jolt Jori awake that there’s sudden noise happening in the open kitchen.
“No worries, hot stuff,” Ryu says jokingly and Taehyung chuckles before downing the glass of water in front of them. It seems to have spilled down onto his neck, droplets trailing further down his torso and Jeongguk holds his breath the entire time.
“Shit, I’m a bit clumsy,” Taehyung jokes but nothing is funny with the way he’s staring down at Jeongguk as his finger trails after the droplet of water before it reaches his waistband.
He’s doing this on purpose. This can’t possibly be all in Jeongguk’s head.
“Well, goodnight you two.” And then he’s gone, retrieving to his bedroom as he stretches his arms, flexing his back muscles.
“Are you sure you don’t find Taehyung hot?” Ryu questions the moment they hear the door close.
“I really don’t.” Yes.
“Really? Your drool says otherwise, babe,” he points out and Jeongguk realizes how watery his mouth has grown since Taehyung did that scene in front of them like it was the start of some godforsaken porno.
“I—“ Jeongguk wipes his lips in a hurry that are probably slick with spit. “I’m not.”
Ryu doesn’t buy it, just continues staring down at him.
“Fuck off. I’m going to bed.”
When Jeongguk moves, Ryu doesn’t drop it.
“Be quiet when you jerk off to Kim later.”
“You suck.”
“You wish you did. On his d—“
Jeongguk blocks out his ears the whole way up and ignores how Ryu giggles loudly until he earns a slap from Jori that stirs awake from it, claiming it to be annoying and loud. Jeongguk couldn’t agree more.
The house has gone quiet when Jeongguk lies under the warm covers, staring at the ceiling as if it’ll change the longer he stares it down. He doesn’t know why, but a part of him can’t sleep.
It’s mostly because of Ryu’s words throughout the day, along with Taehyung’s annoying antics that got him wondering what if, and even debating if he should just allow Taehyung to shut him up with his cock.
But it’s mostly based on how dry and sad Jeongguk’s sex life is. That’s how Ryu describes it every time they talk about sex. The last time Jeongguk got laid was through Tinder and because of Ryu’s extraordinary skills in texting.
That was seven months ago.
Again, dry and sad .
Jeongguk shuts his mind off, closing his eyes to permit himself to sleep but all he sees is Taehyung in front of him, his words whispering against Jeongguk’s ears again like they’re being said for the very first time.
Bet my cock could make you shut up .
Imaginary Taehyung’s upper body is soaked, hair wet until it’s pulled back in that ridiculous snapback that never seems to leave his head and god, the fucking bulge.
No. No.
Jeongguk opens his eyes again, deciding that he’d rather lose five hours of sleep than close his eyes and see that again.
He’s not caving in for Kim Taehyung. He knows he’s waiting for it, probably lying in bed with an arm tucked under his head, whistling slowly as his fingers tap on the exposed skin of his stomach like a ticking clock's rhythm for each passing second, until there’s a knock on his door by Jeongguk.
Absolutely not.
Don’t cave in. Be strong.
The image of Taehyung’s prominent bulge really doesn’t want to stop lingering in Jeongguk’s head when he lets himself space out while staring at the ceiling again.
Unconsciously, Jeongguk licks his lips, and that’s when a certain devil lands on his shoulder, whispering sweet words.
Fuck it.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, admitting defeat to the imaginary devil that, in reality, is just the horniness that’s been creeping up on him since Taehyung showcased his thigh tattoos.
He’s doing it. No going back.
Thank god they’re neighbors because it would’ve made it even worse if Jeongguk had to walk a few meters to reach the door. Now that’s desperation. And Jeongguk isn’t desperate, no. He’s just… taking Taehyung up on the offer that he’d laid out.
With a soft knock, Jeongguk doesn’t think anymore because then Taehyung opens the door, smiling already as if he knew Jeongguk would eventually stand here like a horny idiot.
“Jeon, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Jeongguk steps closer, their lips grazing against each other by the action. “Make me shut up, Kim.”
With a harsh grip to his waist, he’s dragged inside his room, the door closing behind them when he’s pushed against it. Taehyung doesn’t waste a second, trailing his hot, wet mouth against his jawline.
“You want my cock, Jeon?”
Of course Taehyung is one to fucking talk. Jeongguk doesn’t know if he’s able to handle it.
“If I say yes, will you just shut up?!” He’s frustrated, has every right to be because he’s just taken a big step and of course Taehyung finds it to be the perfect moment to drag it out. Have Jeongguk tell him just how much he wants him.
That’s not happening. Jeongguk will make sure of it.
“Maybe,” he responds, warm breath ghosting over his earlobe before Taehyung bites down softly. Jeongguk refrains from moaning because of the sensation.
He just wants to get fucked, not give in to whatever this dirty-talk bullshit is, because all it does in the end is feed Taehyung’s huge ego.
“I fucking hate you.”
Taehyung grins against his skin, kissing his neck before moving back to meet him eye to eye.
“Yeah. But you’re gonna love my cock.” Taehyung doesn’t wait for Jeongguk to respond, grabbing him by the waistband instead so they can lay down on the bed and get to it.
It’s rushed, frantic when they remove everything. Jeongguk’s sweatpants and t-shirt joining the floor fast, meanwhile Taehyung is ready to go, already in boxers and that fucking snapback.
“Fuck. So that’s where the infamous piercing is.” Taehyung watches the sparkle of the silver barbell under the moonlight as Jeongguk moves towards him.
“Shut up. Take that off,” Jeongguk points to the snapback, but Taehyung only shakes his head.
“No, gonna fuck you in it.” Taehyung tugs on Jeongguk’s boxers so that he falls down to join him on the mattress.
It’s then that their cocks rub against each other and Jeongguk really gets to feel just how big Taehyung is.
“No—“ Jeongguk bites down his bottom lip, refraining himself from moving. “No you’re not.”
Taehyung bucks his hips, their tips pushing against each other so effortlessly, Jeongguk’s grip tightens around the covers. He’s so fucking doomed.
“Yeah, I am,” he finalizes, rolling them so he’s on top of Jeongguk now. “And we’re using the strawberry lube.”
“You’re—fuck. The worst.” Taehyung isn’t done moving against him, making it hard for Jeongguk to keep his focus on answering like he usually does. Strict and precise. Now it’s blurred out with hisses and soft gasps that reach his lips.
“Mhm,” Taehyung agrees as he presses his lips down onto Jeongguk's collarbones, careful about marking him. They clearly don’t want this circulating in the friend group during their stay in the cabin.
Also, it makes it ten times hotter that no one knows that Taehyung has Jeongguk pinned down, of all people.
It shouldn’t be surprising that Taehyung is able to do a lot more with his mouth than talk shit. His tongue traces everywhere, teeth biting down softly onto Jeongguk’s pecs until his mouth closes down on the pierced nipple.
Jeongguk wishes he could see it, but he’s too busy trying to control himself from being louder than he is, covering his mouth with his fist, fingers in between his teeth.
“You’re dragging this out, Kim. Just—come on, shut me up.” Jeongguk doesn’t want to return to his bedroom when the sun is rising above the trees.
Taehyung chuckles against the metal, removing his mouth and looks up to meet Jeongguk’s hooded gaze.
“So impatient.”
“I’m not.”
Taehyung moves again, grinding down onto Jeongguk’s cock and that’s when he feels the softness of his ass.
“Say you want my cock, Jeon and it’s all yours.”
Jeongguk’s throat has gone dry. He licks his lips, firmly grabbing onto Taehyung’s thighs. Drags it out when he caresses them, still staring at Taehyung who’s waiting for an answer.
Then, Jeongguk holds on tight, bucks his hips, his clothed cock pushing directly against Taehyung’s frenulum. He catches the way Taehyung’s mouth drops in surprise and that’s when he decides to be really annoying.
“You wish, Kim.”
“Then leave.” He’s not even suggesting it, just laying it out as a possibility but Jeongguk feels like he can’t just back out of it now. He’s come this far. He’s gonna get fucked.
“Get the lube and stop fucking talking .”
Taehyung rolls his eyes in exaggeration, does it regardless by getting up and Jeongguk takes the time to take off his boxers. His cock is hard against his abdomen when they’re kicked off.
Surprisingly, Taehyung doesn’t come back with the strawberry lube, but a normal one. Interesting.
Jeongguk debates whether or not to comment on it.
Fuck it.
“What happened to the top tier strawberry lube?”
Taehyung removes his boxers slowly when he answers him, eyes snaking down to catch Jeongguk’s cock before returning to his face.
“Knew you were gonna cave, big boy. Thank me later, hmm?”
“You’re such a piece of shit, Kim.” Jeongguk laughs until he allows himself to watch Taehyung’s cock, hard in his palm.
And big. Yeah. Kim Taehyung is fucking hung.
“Turn around, ass up.”
“Ask nicely. What happened to your manners?”
Instead of saying the magic word please , Taehyung grabs Jeongguk’s hips with both hands, turning him around and causing him to arch his back with the way he pulls him back against him.
“Please.”
Jeongguk bites back a bitter word, not caring anymore. He just needs this.
“My cock hasn’t even been inside you and you’re already shutting up.” Taehyung pecks the skin on his ass, biting down onto the flesh causing Jeongguk to gasp.
“Kim.” It’s all he manages to say. Taehyung smiles against his skin, lips curled up and everything. Jeongguk feels every inch of it. Doesn’t know if he wants to push into it or scold Taehyung for even smiling in the first place.
He does neither because he hears Taehyung open the bottle of lube that’s brand new. The lube he bought because he knew Jeongguk would give in. It feels like a half compliment. Taehyung going out of his way to buy something he wouldn’t use himself but knowing Jeongguk likes it, and therefore buying it. But then there’s the knowing part that shuts off the complimentary side of it.
Jeongguk doesn’t think further when he feels the pad of Taehyung’s fingers circulating around his rim. The bed dips behind him when Taehyung moves closer, trying to find the perfect position to finger Jeongguk open.
Breath stills in Jeongguk's throat when Taehyung inserts a finger. They’re longer than Jeongguk’s own because there’s no way he’s gaining this much pleasure by a finger resting inside of him. But he is, writhing from the touch the moment Taehyung’s finger curls inside him, searching for his prostate as he fingers him open.
“Fuck you’re so tight, Jeon.” Taehyung allows him to get accustomed to the feeling of having something inside of him again after so long, not that his own fingers haven’t found their way towards his entrance when he’s been touching himself under the shower once or twice.
The moment Taehyung locates his prostate, he knows this won’t end well. Slowly, while the pad of his finger is rubbing against it until it hardens, he pushes in another finger after slicking it up with enough lube.
The sounds are wet when he pushes the fingers back and forth, the stretch getting to Jeongguk. Thankfully he can bite down onto the covers rather than having to do it with his own fist.
“Actually,” Taehyung takes out his fingers, and Jeongguk turns around to ask why he did it, butTaehyung continues to talk as he traces his fingers in circles. “Kinda don’t like you shutting up on me. Want you to show me how good you feel.”
“Yeah, good luck with tha— fuck!” Jeongguk feels the wetness of Taehyung’s tongue on his rim. It surprises him so suddenly he finally lets out a decent moan since Taehyung got behind him, eyes back down onto the covers.
“Yeah that’s it,” Taehyung breathes out on his hole, diving back in, both hands holding his cheeks apart.
Jeongguk tries his best not to push into Taehyung’s tongue that manages to slide inside him easily. His lips pucker around it, as if he’s making out with it and Jeongguk is thankful he’s not able to watch how Taehyung looks while his moving his mouth so fucking fast yet slow on him.
“You—” Jeongguk interrupts himself with a sudden gasp as Taehyung goes back to fingering him while the slide of his tongue never stops running in circles.
“Not gonna fuck you until you tell me you want my cock, Jeon.” He warns, goes back to kissing and licking all over the area while Jeongguk debates whether it’s worth confessing the words that Taehyung so desperately craves to hear.
He’s on the verge of doing it, but then he remembers. He doesn’t owe Kim Taehyung shit.
“That… sucks for you because I would’ve—“ Jeongguk tries to form it into words but it’s so hard when all he feels is pleasure building in his gut. “Let you come on my face.”
Taehyung pauses when Jeongguk's words sink in. He feels the heat of his mouth leave his hole, but the grip is still tight on his skin.
“Fuck this.”
Jeongguk smiles against the covers, forehead still pressed hard against it and knowing he’s won when Taehyung rips apart the package for the condom behind him.
More lube is added onto Taehyung’s cock when he gets the rubber on, and Jeongguk arches better than when he was rimmed as the dip of the bed changes behind him whenTaehyung moves closer.
“You’re gonna fucking kill me one day, Jeon.” Taehyung puts a hand on his spine, keeping him still and Jeongguk tilts his head, smirking when he catches the dark gaze from Taehyung.
“That’s the plan, Kim.”
No other words are said the moment Taehyung pushes in. Jeongguk muffles the moan that slips past his lips from the stretch in the covers, biting down onto them. Taehyung’s grip tightens onto Jeongguk’s skin when he bottoms out, breathing heavily as they take a moment.
Then Taehyung starts moving and yeah, his cock definitely makes Jeongguk shut up because he can’t even let out a moan, his neck completely strained as pleasure keeps building in his gut. He’s so out of it and Taehyung has barely shown what he’s capable of.
“You feel so—“ Taehyung tips his head back, overwhelmed by everything that’s happening himself. Jeongguk almost grows addicted to the stretch, which is a big no in his book because this is just a one time thing.
Fucking it out, the tension, the hatred. All of it.
And well, they certainly fuck it out.
Taehyung is precise when he does it, holding all the right places as the pounding grows faster, the smacking sounds of flesh on flesh filling the room. He allows Jeongguk control too, letting him fuck himself on his cock, moving in an arch back and forth. It’s not as fast as Taehyung, but it feels just as good.
The snapback never dares to leave Taehyung’s head and Jeongguk makes the mistake of looking behind him when Taehyung is so focused on watching his cock disappear inside him and fuck . He looks so fucking good, Jeongguk bites down on his lip in irritation.
“Like what you see, Jeon?”
Jeongguk removes his prying eyes, cheek pressed back onto the covers.
“Maybe,” he manages to say before Taehyung picks up a brutal pace that only tells Jeongguk one thing. He’s not going to last long.
He’s lost all sense of time, or if they’re being loud enough for the others to hear. All he wants is to come.
Jeongguk doesn’t warn Taehyung when he moves a hand to wrap around himself, stroking it to fit it with the fast pace of Taehyung’s hips against him.
“Yeah, touch yourself, fuck—“
The encouragement makes Jeongguk groan into the sheets, each tug adding onto the pleasure along with the brush against his prostate by Taehyung’s cock.
“Gonna—” Jeongguk warns, not catching Taehyung’s response as his sole focus is on the stimulation he’s no longer in control of, resulting in a wild shake in his legs as he comes undone. Strings of cum land beneath him and Taehyung slows down, pulling out when Jeongguk regains his breath. He hears Taehyung tear off the condom and that’s when he speaks again.
“Turn around. Wanna see your face.”
Jeongguk doesn’t waste another second, pushing himself up and turns around, on his knees still, face planted right by Taehyung’s cock. He strokes it fast and hard, Jeongguk wanting to put his mouth on it but he’s unable to make up his mind, and before he knows it, Taehyung curses a few times, cum landing right on Jeongguk's cheek and neck.
Instead, he pecks the tip, tasting the cum that’s still coating it before dragging the pad of his fingers up the shaft, accumulating what spilled over and dragging it to his mouth.
He sucks his fingers clean while Taehyung watches him with a parted mouth, removing his hand from his cock that’s starting to soften.
“You’re filthy, Jeon.”
“Thanks for shutting me up, Kim.”
“My pleasure.” He removes the snapback finally, letting his damp hair fall out in pretty waves, curling against his forehead.
“Do you have some sort of kink with that?” Jeongguk asks out of pure curiosity, wondering why he waited until they were done fucking to take it off.
“Are you willing to beg for that answer?”
Jeongguk scoffs. “No.”
He gets back on his feet, ignoring the slight shake in his thighs. Instead he grabs the remains of his clothing, putting it on while Taehyung lies back down onto the gross sheets.
“Goodnight, Jeon.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, flipping a middle finger in his direction before closing the door behind him.
Well, they still hate each other but at least they fucked it out.
Progress.
Notes:
and so it fucking begins. :DDDD
Chapter Text
Jeongguk wakes up to Jori jumping onto his bed and wrapping himself around him like a baby koala around a branch. Jeongguk groans when Jori sings out an annoying good morning in his ear, and he tries to wiggle himself out of his embrace, pulling the covers as high as he can. He doesn’t even want to check the time it is right now, especially since he’s barely slept all night.
“Come on! Everyone is already up and eating breakfast.”
“Two more minutes.”
“No.” Jori grabs the hem of the covers, yanking them off in an instant, and Jeongguk whines. “Stop. Please don’t do this.”
“You’re getting up dude.”
“Fine. Fine. Only because I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Jori is soon out of the room, Jeongguk able to hear his steps going down the stairs as many voices come together, probably asking about Jeongguk's whereabouts.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take long for him to get dressed. His black sport shorts and a hoodie seems sufficient and then Jeongguk is walking out of his room, ruffling the awful bed hair that has turned to an awkward sprout.
“There he is. Morning sunshine,” Hoseok greets him, as he stands by the espresso machine, brewing some more coffee that’s a bit too loud for his liking.
“Mornin’” Jeongguk mumbles, sitting down as he rubs his eyes and then Ryu comes up behind him, giving him an early morning cuddle.
“Do you want some coffee?”
“Yes please.”
The morning is quiet, comfortable and Jeongguk notices how everyone is still hanging around in their pajamas and home slippers. Namjoon and Hector are the only ones not here, apparently going out for a morning hike before everyone managed to wake up.
As Hoseok makes Jeongguk's coffee, he notices Taehyung sitting on the couch with Yoongi, manspreading in his sweatpants with no shirt.
Jeongguk doesn’t look for long, knows it won’t end well since he hasn’t really processed last night's events that much either.
He’s a bit sore this morning, but he tries to play it off smoothly.
Hopefully.
“Here you go, Jeonggukie.” Hoseok hands him the mug that has red polka dots, and Jeongguk thanks him, takes a few sips and immediately feels better already.
Ryu is giving him a massage, probably because he’s a bit bored.
It seems to be one of those mornings where everyone is either tired or hungover. Jeongguk is a good mix of both, especially tired since he got less than four hours of sleep. Taehyung seems to be doing fine, giggling over whatever Yoongi is showing him on his phone.
“Ryu? Wanna go take a walk around the neighborhood?” Jimin asks.
“Absolutely. Let me just go and change and I’ll meet you by the front door.”
Jeongguk is only halfway through his coffee when Ryu removes the grip around his shoulders, running up the stairs to change, meanwhile Jori is helping Hoseok with what they should have for lunch later and if they have everything they need.
“I think we need more bread. We should do some groceries a bit later today.”
“Good idea.”
“Yoongi! Let’s go fishing.”
“What?”
“You promised we’d go today. Come on, please!” Seokjin pulls at the sleeve of Yoongi’s shirt and Taehyung giggles at their antics.
“Okay. Okay, fine.”
Everyone seems to be doing something today, except Jeongguk and Taehyung.
As the cabin empties out, Jeongguk is washing the dishes so Hoseok and Jori could do the groceries a bit earlier and save some time. Taehyung is still hanging out by the couch, scrolling mindlessly on his phone, and the silence between them is deafening.
It’s so empty that Jeongguk can hear the wind throwing itself against the big windows by the patio.
“Guess it’s just us here now.”
“Yup.” Jeongguk doesn’t look at him. Keeps fidgeting with the dishes even though the plate in his hands couldn’t be more clean.
Okay, maybe he’s stretching it out to avoid Taehyung at all costs. Truthfully, Jeongguk feels a bit awkward. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, a thing to get it out of their system, and being faced by the aftermath next morning is painfully awkward. Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“How’s your ass?”
Jeongguk drops the plate in the sink in shock, not expecting such a question from Taehyung. On top of that, he sounds so casual Jeongguk wants to gouge his eyes out in misery.
“What?”
“Is it doing okay? Not too sore?”
“Are we seriously doing this? Right now?” Jeongguk finally gives in, turning around to face Taehyung.
He’s sitting just like before, one arm folded behind his head exposing a dark tuft of hair. Those gold necklaces gleaming around his neck are going to drive Jeongguk insane, one of them long enough to rest over the swell of his pecs.
“Well, what else should we talk about?”
“Not this, besides my ass is fine. Can barely feel anything today,” Jeongguk lies.
“Barely anything? Who knew goody-two-shoes Jeon Jeongguk was a liar?” Taehyung shuts his phone off, now giving Jeongguk his full attention from afar.
There’s a good distance between them, and even though Taehyung is nowhere near Jeongguk, he feels himself heating up. Nape is turning wetter the longer they stand there, watching each other with no words falling from their lips.
“I’m not.”
“Huh. How come?”
“It wasn’t that good, that’s why.”
Another lie.
Jeongguk really has to stop this.
“Says the one who gave into it first.”
“Yeah, kinda wish I didn’t.”
“I get that, cause apparently my cock can’t shut you up, huh. Always have something to say with that fucking mouth of yours.” Taehyung stands up, tucking both hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants as he carefully steps towards Jeongguk who is now frozen in place, wet and soapy hands holding onto the counter.
“Yeah, Kim. No matter how many times you fuck me, I won’t shut up. It’s what I do best.”
“Oh, you wanna fuck me again, Jeon?”
The grip tightens around the corner, Jeongguk sucking in a breath as he lies yet again. “No, I don’t.”
He tries his best to focus his gaze on Taehyung’s eyes and not his abs, nor his collarbones adorned by those godforsaken necklaces. He tries not to stare at the prominent bulge in Taehyung’s sweats. The knowledge that it’s soft only makes it worse for Jeongguk when Taehyung steps closer, almost challenging him, testing out the so-called lie he threw out there.
“You don’t?”
“I don’t.”
“You almost stuttered. Cute.” Taehyung moves closer, his familiar scent filling the space between them until it’s the only thing Jeongguk can breathe. It takes him back to last night, how Taehyung was all over him, driving him insane with just words and that fucking mouth.
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do here.” He grins and Jeongguk rolls his eyes, turning back around to avoid getting hard.
It’s not just the close proximity anymore, no, it’s Taehyung as a whole; how he looks, how he talks, how he moves. Jeongguk can't look at him. Knows he’ll cave again, and then he’ll look really stupid.
He picks up the plate, setting it aside as he grabs another one and then he feels it, Taehyung’s breath against his nape, lips grazing the spot, tempting him.
“We have the house all to ourselves. Wouldn’t have to be so quiet like last night.” He moves his mouth to Jeongguk's earlobe, sucking on it before biting down.
Jeongguk's breath hitches, hands slipping from the sink, grabbing onto the counter instead to hold himself upright, and to prevent himself from melting against Taehyung.
“I’m—not that easy, Kim.”
“Mhm.” Taehyung ignores it, sucking a spot right beneath his ear, licks over it with his warm tongue, and for a moment Jeongguk forgets how much he can’t stand him, how since the first semester he’s hated every inch of him.
“If you wanna fuck me so badly, you’re gonna have to beg.”
Taehyung’s mouth stops moving against Jeongguk's skin, pushing himself a bit away, giving the other a chance to breathe for once.
Taehyung answers coldly, “I don’t beg for anyone.”
“Then I won’t fuck you again.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Taehyung scoffs, stepping away fully and Jeongguk ignores the semi he’s managed to sport while Taehyung was moving his mouth against him.
It’s silent again, and Jeongguk is uncertain about whether he regrets it or not.
But when he turns around and sees Taehyung hard in his sweatpants paired with a frown on his face, he sees it as a win.
The silence doesn’t last for long, Hector and Namjoon returning from their morning hike, all worn out.
“Hey, you two,” Hector greets, walking towards the kitchen to give a hug to Jeongguk.
“Hey. How was the hike?”
“Wonderful. You should go with us tomorrow! You too, Taehyung. You’d love it,” Hector suggests as he grabs a snack.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Babe, I’m gonna go take a shower.” Namjoon says while jogging up the stairs, Hector flashes a grin before taking a bite of the apple, and following behind.
Jeongguk doesn’t even want to imagine what’s going to happen to that poor shower.
Without another word, Jeongguk leaves the kitchen, feeling Taehyung’s eyes on him the whole time.
Even though he promised Jori to take a break from training, Jeongguk sees it as a good opportunity to work out this early afternoon.
Seokjin and Yoongi still haven’t come back from their fishing trip, and Hoseok and Jori seem to be taking their time at the grocery store. Knowing them, it’s probably turned into a full blown shopping spree.
On top of that, Ryu and Jimin are the ones who talk the most in the group so them coming back from their stroll seems unlikely as of right now.
The bedrooms are big yet it seems to lack space when he tries to do his usual cardio.
Jeongguk finds this out in the middle of stretching when his knee accidentally knocks against the footing of the bed. The hardwood stares back at Jeongguk when he whines, muffling the noise by biting down his lip.
“Shit.” Jeongguk grabs his dumbbells along with the yoga mat he uses for stretching, and walks downstairs seeing Taehyung in the same position as he left him.
Only this time, he’s wearing a shirt and no snapback. The sleeves from his t-shirt are rolled up and Taehyung hums a song while continuing to scroll, ignoring Jeongguk's presence completely.
The slap of the yoga mat hitting the floor catches his attention, Taehyung’s eyes flitting over to watch as Jeongguk crouches down, flattening it out. They still don’t talk, the only noise in the house being the distant sound of running water and giggles from Hector and Namjoon.
Jeongguk goes back to stretching, arching his back as he sighs deeply, feeling his muscles loosen and relax.
Taehyung still stares at him, not saying a word, instead using his mouth to nibble his bottom lip as if to prevent the truthful words from slipping carelessly.
The workout is making it hard for Jeongguk to check whenever Taehyung looks at him, so instead he focuses solely on doing his cardio right.
And sure, maybe he does groan a bit louder when he pulls himself up after a hard push-up, and maybe he does stretch his neck a bit more to showcase more skin, and maybe–
“We’re back!” Seokjin sings when he opens the door, Yoongi following behind with their bags in each hand.
“Hey,” Jeongguk says as he huffs out, bringing the dumbbell up to his chest and down again, feeling the way his muscles strain with each movement.
“Looks like someone still wants to impress Coach after fall break, huh.” Seokjin jokes, and because Jeongguk is aware he laughs.
That is until Taehyung grins, gets up as his eyes travel down towards where Jeongguk's veins break out with each action.
Taehyung runs a hand through his dark locks and adjusts the snapback.
“Well he does seem to love the taste of Coach’s ass. A real ass licker, this guy.”
“Fuck you.”
If it weren’t for Seokjin and Yoongi being here, Jeongguk would’ve said something entirely different.
Such as, bringing up the fact that Taehyung was the one to put his mouth to good use, so really, who’s the truest ass licker?
Yoongi smacks his lips. “Not this again. What’s for lunch?” He proceeds to say, dropping down the bags by the couch, and taking off his jacket while Seokjin empties out his pockets.
“Don’t know yet. Hobi and Jori went out to do groceries.”
“Shit okay. Seems like I’ll be able to catch a nap then.”
“Yeah me too. Fishing isn’t for the weak, truly.”
As they both disappear upstairs, Jeongguk places the barbell down and Taehyung strides a walk towards him.
“You’re not slick, Jeon.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re obviously trying to make me cave with all…” Taehyung looks down at the yoga mat. “That.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout.” Jeongguk plays it off smoothly.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Maybe you’re the one thinking too much about it. You could’ve just said so, Kim. Kinda cute how much you wanna fuck me again, might even reconsider.”
“You’re insufferable. I’m out.”
“Glad the feeling is mutual.”
“Jeongguk? Could you hand me that knife beside you?”
He reaches for it, making sure Jimin grabs the right side and receives a small thank you before returning back to mixing the correct spices with the meat, rolling them, and pressing them down on the hot pan.
It’s burgers for dinner tonight.
It was Jori’s idea, craving something a bit more on the greasy side due to the hangover most of them still feel after yesterday's drinking game.
Jeongguk is on the dinner team tonight, along with Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung.
Now, it wouldn’t have been such a problem if Taehyung wasn’t cutting the lettuce completely wrong to the point that Jeongguk can’t even focus on his own task, eyes constantly dragging themselves towards him.
“Seriously, who taught you how to cut?” Jeongguk asks without thinking twice. Hoseok and Jimin are too busy chatting about campus gossip to notice the fact that Jeongguk chooses to bring out yet another discussion between Taehyung and him.
“The fuck are you on about?” Taehyung stops the cutting, placing both hands onto the counter instead, and letting go of the knife as he stares down at Jeongguk with a huge frown.
“That’s not how you cut lettuce, how do you expect us to eat that?!” Jeongguk points with meat, greasy fingers at the shredded lettuce that Taehyung spent the past ten minutes cutting.
“Mind your business, Jeon.”
“Just, cut it by the side,” Jeongguk says and goes back to adding more salt and pepper to the meat before he mixes it all together.
He throws another glance at Taehyung who’s about to cut and do it all wrong, and Jeongguk loses his temper.
“Are you even listening to me?”
“Blah blah, can’t hear you.”
“Just—“ Jeongguk washes his hand before he moves towards Taehyung, making their hips touch for a second before he steps aside.
The knife rests on the cutting board next to the half portion of lettuce.
“This is how you do it.” Jeongguk grabs the knife, brings it on top of the lettuce before cutting it down. “You see that? I go up, and down, not like that or like this. Just, up. Down. Got it, big boy?” Jeongguk catches the sly smirk resting on Taehyung's face when he catches onto the unusual nickname that was nothing but slip of the tongue.
“Actually, I think you should show it to me just one more time. My brain is a bit slow.”
“You motherfucker,” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath, taking the remains of the lettuce and cuts it. He repeats the earlier instructions, unaware that Taehyung has left him, and gone to join the others on the couch to watch the ongoing drama they put on earlier after lunch.
“Hey! Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“Keep going, Jeon! You’re almost done.”
“You—” Jeongguk bites it down, finishing it instead and ignores the heat in his belly because of the anger Taehyung brings out of him.
Yet, this time, it doesn’t just rest in the pit of his stomach, it trails further down, sending a kick.
Jeongguk didn’t expect the anger to bring out… that.
Finishing the rest of the dinner with Hoseok and Jimin, Taehyung comes back to set the table, and Jeongguk doesn’t think further about his body’s earlier reaction.
It’s Hoseok’s idea once again.
Jeongguk rocks in his seat, giggling over Seokjin explaining how Yoongi got scared when he caught a fish, not expecting for it to be so hard to bring up to the surface.
Taehyung is on the floor, leaning against Jimin’s legs as he sits next to Ryu.
As Seokjin continues to babble drunkenly, Yoongi smacks him on the shoulder to put a stop to the embarrassment.
In the middle of it, Jeongguk steals a glance towards Taehyung, catching how his eyes darken when they meet.
His breath hitches and Taehyung doesn’t stop looking, tilting his head in Jeongguk's direction, and studies every detail of his face.
Suddenly, Seokjin’s voice becomes distant and foreign, Jeongguk's focus being solemnly on Taehyung’s dark brown eyes.
“Jeongguk?”
That surely snaps him out of it, realizing Yoongi is calling out to him, asking for more soju that’s closest to him on the table.
Jeongguk clears his throat, ignoring the heat in his stomach, identical to the one from earlier when he stood in the kitchen after bickering with Taehyung over fucking lettuce .
As he hands over the soju to Yoongi, he catches Taehyung changing position, cross legged instead, shorts riding up, and revealing a few thigh tattoos.
Trying not to let his mouth drop, Jeongguk distracts himself by reading over the liquor labels.
Yet somehow, his eyes have a mind of their own.
It’s the alcohol, it has to be that buzz he gains when he studies the details silently.
It can’t be anything else.
Jeongguk takes it as a sign that he should stop drinking tonight or he’ll end up making a huge mistake, and that’s losing against his own word.
To make matters worse, he catches Taehyung's finger sliding down, drawing the shape of the tattoos, and riding the material more up so that it leaves Jeongguk gawking.
Thankfully Taehyung isn’t looking at him or Jeongguk would’ve had to leave the room and—
He spoke too soon.
Taehyung cranes his neck, fully exposing the expanse of it and how soft and inviting it looks as he tilts his head back, mouth slightly parted.
Jeongguk feels his cock twitch in excitement the moment Taehyung turns to look at him, licking his lips as he continues to touch his tattoos reminding Jeongguk how they’re there, on his skin, forever .
“I’m going to bed,” Jeongguk announces quickly, the heat becoming so overbearing in his gut, he thinks he’ll pass out.
But really, it’s just Taehyung.
It’s just…him. His neck, his thighs, his cock—
“You okay, Jeonggukie?” Ryu asks when Jeongguk breaks eye contact with Taehyung, adjusting his shorts so no one spots the semi he’s growing under the material.
“Fine, just…drunk. So, uh, goodnight everyone,” Jeongguk rushes out, pulling his t-shirt that has clung onto his chest.
A cold shower will do him good.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what time it is when he hears a rapid knock on his door.
Groaning, he pulls himself up, sobriety having returned within the few hours of sleep he’s managed to gain.
Somehow he expects Ryu, asking him a ton of questions about why he suddenly left the ongoing drinking game that Hoseok came up with. But instead it’s—
“Kim?”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything, only watches Jeongguk, trailing his eyes down, and up again.
Before Jeongguk can speak again, Taehyung steps closer.
His mouth lands right below his ear, wet lips grazing the skin, and as Jeongguk sucks in a breath, he hears it.
Slow and direct.
“Please.”
Holy fucking shit.
Jeongguk doesn’t think anymore.
His mind is completely foggy with the feel of Taehyung lips against his skin, as if he’s resisting the desire to kiss him there, but Jeongguk feels a craving, and gives into it.
“Pl—”
Jeongguk grabs Taehyung by the waist, pulling him further against himself as he closes the door.
Taehyung’s breath hitches against his neck, and Jeongguk tries to steady his own heartbeat pounding intensely in his ears.
“Say it again.”
“Please.”
“Fuck.”
Jeongguk pulls Taehyung down with him until their legs hit the edge of the bed.
Taehyung falls first, legs naturally spreading and Jeongguk joins him, sitting down on his lap.
He’s able to feel the bottle of lube in Taehyung’s pocket, and a wrapped condom as well.
Jeongguk doesn’t know why but he finds it hot.
Although, not as hot as Taehyung coming to his door, and begging of all things.
“Thought you weren’t one to beg.”
“I’m not but—” Taehyung moves a hand and steadies it on Jeongguk's thigh, squeezing the skin. “I can't stop thinking about—”
“Me too,” Jeongguk answers quickly, the truth finally spilling out.
They don’t say anything else, discarding each other's clothing instead. Jeongguk is already in his boxers, helping Taehyung out of his shorts and t-shirt.
As he remains on his lap, Jeongguk takes his time and studies each and every single tattoo that is on Taehyung’s right thigh. There’s a few more than he noticed during Never Have I Ever. His eyes catch sight of a number inked there before he’s interrupted.
“Like what you see?” Taehyung spreads his legs further and Jeongguk just nods, doesn’t want to say how much they drive him crazy, how it was because of them that he left earlier.
“Wanna—” Jeongguk stops himself, quickly dismissing the idea that’s been sitting for a while.
Taehyung moves closer, his chest brushing against Jeongguk’s own, hands still wandering over his thighs, heat seeping through the touch.
“Oh, so now you decide to keep your mouth shut?”
Jeongguk knows what he’s doing.
He’s testing him, and frankly it’s working because now Jeongguk wants to prove Taehyung wrong, wants to show him he’s able to say everything he thinks and wants.
“Wanna ride your thigh.”
Taehyung’s mouth goes slack, and then Jeongguk feels his cock twitch in interest beneath him.
“What.”
“Yeah.” Jeongguk brings a hand over the necklaces, swiping the pad of his finger over them, avoiding Taehyung's eyes which move frantically all over his face.
Instead of waiting for an answer, Taehyung removes the leg draped over his left thigh, placing Jeongguk directly down onto the thigh that he hasn’t stopped gawking at since earlier.
The communication is silent, but Jeongguk can see it all over Taehyung when he finally dares looking at him.
He’s impatient, breathing heavily with expanded pupils, and Jeongguk almost drowns in it.
Impatience seems to transmit itself to Jeongguk because then he’s sitting up to remove his boxers, exposing his hard cock as he watches Taehyung’s gaze travel down, and how he gulps when it’s fully exposed.
Taehyung follows through, removing his own while Jeongguk's are sent down on the floor.
And suddenly, being bare again, naked in front of each other feels freeing yet scary.
Something about tonight feels different than the first.
The first time had a goal.
The goal was to get it out of their system. To get Taehyung’s words out of his fucking head. Which naturally resulted into a rough, and quick fuck.
Yet now… it’s intense, and overwhelming when they stare at each other all while Jeongguk sits back down, hissing when Taehyung wraps a hand around him.
It’s less rough, more slow, like they’re taking their time and in no rush to make each other come.
Almost as if this is a moment to prove how even when they’ve waited all day for this to happen, they still drag it out when the chance is here, and in the palm of their hands.
“Ride it, come on, Jeon—” Taehyung whispers as Jeongguk tries to keep his own voice down whenever Taehyung’s thumb plays with the wet slit.
“Ask nicely, Kim.” His voice is a bit breathless and Taehyung flashes him a grin as he jerks him off slowly, moving closer, lips not even an inch from his.
“Please.”
Jeongguk can almost taste the word. Wonders if he should taste Taehyung but then he starts to move, and doesn’t question how their mouths are so close to one another.
How, even though Taehyung has fucked him once, they haven’t kissed.
It’s a bit odd.
Usually, Jeongguk doesn’t mind a few kisses during sex, but with Taehyung it’s different.
It would feel too…out of place—intimate even. To be able to feel the press of his lips, the same lips he uses to not only talk shit—but to also show off how many want him so shamelessly.
Jeongguk wants to save his mouth for someone else, not his teammate whom he can’t stand.
Taehyung’s upper lip barely touches Jeongguk's bottom one when his mouth drops at the action caused by Jeongguk's hips rutting against the tattoos.
They’re visible under his cock in Taehyung’s hand.
Jeongguk grabs onto Taehyung’s hair, resting his cheek against the curls that tickle his skin, and continues to develop the movements of his hips, loving how he’s able to feel the muscles tense beneath his body whenever he moves.
He feels Taehyung’s tongue on his chest, licking and sucking any spot he can reach.
It isn’t until his mouth wraps around the pierced bud that Jeongguk tilts his head back as the grip in Taehyung's hair tightens.
They moan at the same time, the blend of their voices increasing the situation.
It only encourages Jeongguk to move faster, all while Taehyung whines against his skin, vibrations coursing through, and Jeongguk feels it run down his spine as he arches his back.
“Fuck—yeah that’s it, Jeon,” Taehyung mumbles against his chest, tightening his hand around his cock when he strokes him now, as if he wants him to come like this but Jeongguk has other things in mind.
“K—Kim.” Jeongguk ruts his hips again, legs tensing along with his abs, and then he pulls Taehyung’s hand away. “Not like—I don’t wanna come like this.”
The grip around Taehyung’s locks loosen as they move to look at each other again, Taehyung planting his hand on Jeongguk's thigh instead.
Trying to calm down his nerves, Jeongguk begins to grow a bit annoyed by having to stop himself from coming all over Taehyung’s thigh, yet it seems to be worth it with the way he looks fucked out by simple thigh riding.
His dark hair is all over the place, face flushed and heated along with the swollen lips due to so much biting.
For a second it makes Jeongguk wonder if he’s had anyone ride his thigh like this before, but he restrains himself from asking.
Taehyung’s lips are wet, tongue constantly running over them and Jeongguk can’t stop himself when he brings a finger forward, dragging it over the edges and pulling it down before it goes back in place.
Somehow Taehyung moves closer, so close their lips are almost touching. Jeongguk is still trying to come down from his high, mind hazy yet he brings a hand to Taehyung’s jaw nonetheless, only instead of pulling him in for what he wants, he pushes him flat down against the bed.
Taehyung gasps by the sudden gesture, hips rutting upwards in excitement.
Jeongguk settles back on his lap, mouth over his jaw tickling the skin with the air he lets out while trying to figure out what to do next. But, Taehyung seems to be too tempted in such a position, gripping the meat on his thigh again, in warning this time.
“Come on,” Taehyung says, tone biting in annoyance over Jeongguk being on top yet doing absolutely nothing.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes above him, remaining still as he comes up with a cocky response.
“Where’s the sweet word, Kim?”
Taehyung scoffs. “Seriously?”
Jeongguk doesn’t respond, figures that the silence will be more than enough to make him give in rather than start a fight when they’re both nude, and it’s ass-o’clock-in-the-morning.
“For fuck’s sake. Fine,” Taehyung bites, moving his hand to push down on Jeongguk’s lower back, causing him to arch and have his cock nestled next to Taehyung’s. The contact is more intimate than being on top of him, and Jeongguk tries his hardest to withhold the confident act in making Kim fucking Taehyung beg for it.
With relaxed brows, Taehyung stares and finally whispers. “Please.”
Twitching in interest, Jeongguk doesn’t falter in his expression, instead he tries to find the lube and condom that Taehyung must’ve left on the bed somewhere.
Sensing he’s looking for it, Taehyung turns his head and finds it quicker than lightning. “Fuck—here,” he says, placing the lube and condom on his stomach for Jeongguk to grab.
Opening the cap of the bottle to coat his fingers, Jeongguk is instantly hit with an awful smell of synthetic strawberries.
“Wait—what the fuck, Kim?!”
“What—”
“You brought strawberry lube with you—fuck this shit stinks.” Jeongguk almost gags when he brings the bottle close to his nose, and Taehyung slaps his ass.
“Shut the fuck up and grow up.”
“See, usually I would’ve ended it here but—” Jeongguk stops himself when Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah?”
“I’m too lazy to get up.”
“Oh wow, our little perfect striker is too lazy to get up. Never saw this coming,” Taehyung jokes lightly, something Jeongguk really isn’t used to—well to be fair he’s not used to suddenly fucking him either but here they are.
“You’re such an ass. It’s like—I don’t know, four in the morning?! The fuck did you expect?”
“Well, it’s going to be five if you don’t just—” Taehyung warns, rutting against him in neediness, eyes hazy as they stare at him. “Come on—please. ”
Fuck it.
He’s right.
Trying his best to ignore the synthetic smell, Jeongguk covers his fingers in lube, mocking Taehyung when he doesn’t seem to dim his desperation on getting his dick wet again, and finally opens himself up. He’s not as tight as he was yesterday, Taehyung’s cock managing to stretch him out so nicely that his hole swallows two fingers rather quickly.
Although, for Taehyung’s cock, he’ll need three.
Squeezing one of Taehyung’s pecs for support, Jeongguk raises his hips to gain a better angle, a third finger slipping in which finally causes him to moan in pleasure. His nails dig into the soft skin beneath him as he restrains himself from being loud, and waking everyone who’s (hopefully) asleep by now.
The small ache from yesterday is gone when Jeongguk pushes his fingers in and out, the glide smooth. It’s almost like Taehyung can read it on his face that he’s ready, fingers fiddling with the wrapper and opening it in almost an instant, grabbing the base of his cock to cover it up and to make it easier for Jeongguk to slide down.
“I—fuck,” Taehyung curses in a breath when Jeongguk’s rim stretches around the tip that naturally disappears within him as he sinks down, legs spreading further onto the mattress.
“S-Shit,” Jeongguk takes a deep breath when Taehyung’s fully nestled inside him—the size something he never sees himself actually grow accustomed to. But it feels fucking good. To be this full.
“You’re still so fucking tight, Jeon—holy shit,” Taehyung whispers while his hands are splayed out on his thighs, gripping the skin once in a while.
“Just shut the fuck up, and fuck me.”
“Lazy,” Taehyung mutters before Jeongguk feels his legs move upwards, thighs grazing Jeongguk’s ass, an indication he’s planted both feet down for support. An indication he’s obeyed .
Their eyes aren’t on each other when Taehyung’s cock slides out only to re-enter shortly after, stretching out Jeongguk further. Shit—how is that even possible?! The roughness behind the thrusts causes Jeongguk to stumble forward, his elbow about to knock down onto Taehyung’s stomach, but he’s quick to re-adjust with placing both hands onto his chest, ignorant to how much his nails are leaving red, defined marks onto Taehyung’s skin.
When the pace picks up, Jeongguk steals a glance at Taehyung whose lips are tucked beneath his teeth, a frown etched onto his face in concentration. He’s probably no better, trying to keep his voice down—but it’s hard with the way Taehyung’s cock naturally rubs against his prostate with each thrust.
“Hurry,” Jeongguk whispers, afraid that the fucking sun will be up before they’ve come undone.
Taehyung seems to find the comment comical, smiling rather than preventing himself from moaning and showcasing how good this feels.
“You’re such a dick.” Taehyung slows down his pace, hands gripping tight onto Jeongguk’s waist instead of his thighs.
The comment boosts something in Jeongguk—but with all the pleasure buzzing in his system he has a hard time figuring out what exactly this does to him. He just knows it feels really fucking good to see how annoyed Taehyung can get by a simple request.
Touches become rougher with each minute, the sounds less muffled between them when the building orgasm becomes more prominent. Both of them too riled up to begin with. Jeongguk catches the dark pink marks his nails have left on Taehyung’s pecs, and while it should scare him that there’s physical proof to what they’re currently doing, he sees it rather as winning.
Taehyung’s hands are no longer on his waist but on his ass, spreading his cheeks further to fully stretch him—to remind Jeongguk that he’s willingly doing this again with Taehyung.
Fuck.
He can’t believe it.
He’s already back to losing.
It isn’t until by the end when the orgasm almost reaches its peak that Jeongguk loses it, moaning freely, bottom lip too abused by his teeth digging harshly into them. Taehyung is no better, allowing his jaw to slacken, small groans slipping past his lips whenever his cock pushes back inside.
“Oh fuck—” Taehyung mutters when his thrusts turn sloppier, a sign he’s close to release, which leads Jeongguk to guide one of his hands down to his untouched cock. His eyes close when he touches himself, body buzzing in stimulation, so much his head drops down, cheek now stuck onto his wet, sweaty bicep.
He’s so close, hand wrapped firmly around himself, stroking up and down in a high tempo when he feels Taehyung move upwards, hands now holding tightly onto Jeongguk’s shoulders for support—the new position strikes Jeongguk to come in between them, the fulness of Taehyung’s cock overwhelming him with how deep inside he is.
“Ah—Ah fuck.” Jeongguk’s breath hitches when his cum lands everywhere, milking himself dry as Taehyung doesn’t ever stop fucking into him to chase his own high.
It barely takes him a second, Jeongguk still overcoming his own when Taehyung whines, and finishes inside the condom. His grip tightens for a second as he pumps the latex full of cum, keeping the close proximity between them.
Yet, that doesn’t last long because as soon as Taehyung drops his hands, Jeongguk gets up without warning, a mutual hiss filling the room by oversensitivity.
“Jeon—what the fuck?”
“Get out. I need to sleep.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Can I at least take off the condom first?”
“Take it off in your own room, I’m not dealing with that.”
“Jesus—you’re so—” Taehyung bites down whatever words he has on the tip of his tongue, leaving Jeongguk with a frown when he’s found the lube and quickly piled his clothes into his arms.
“Goodnight. Close the door behind you,” Jeongguk says with an overly nice tone, one used on purpose to tick something in Taehyung—and it seems to work when he doesn’t do as requested, and instead sends him a polite finger.
With Taehyung out of his sight, Jeongguk allows himself to fully sink into the mattress, ignoring how the sheets feel wet, how it smells like synthetic strawberries and that he has literal cum drying out on his skin.
All he can think about is that this is so fucked .
Notes:
guys, we're not even 10% in to the smut this fic has.......... *nervous giggle*
— see you next saturday for chap 3!! 💛
Chapter 3
Notes:
the summary for this is: jeongguk is showing his slutty side!!
and just, one thing i have to make REAL CLEAR so that no one gets the wrong signal about this fic, KTG IS A WORK IN PROGRESS MEANING TRUST THE PROCESS !!!
alright, again, thank you baby gray for beta readingggg and enjoy lovies !!!!
(i’m uploading this from the bathroom stall at my workplace btw.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It’s around lunch the next day when Jeongguk realizes he and Taehyung never talked about this. Not that this is anything … far from it, but hooking up twice during a four day cabin trip is…something.
Doesn’t mean it means something but it’s, yeah, something.
Jeongguk's mind is all over the place when Hoseok asks him to hand over the coffee in the cabinet.
“I think Namjoon and Hector had sex yesterday,” Hoseok says as Jeongguk is about to sip on his own coffee early in the morning.
“Wait what.”
“I mean, I know the house is big and all and has a lot of space but these walls? Thinner than paper. I think they hooked up around four in the morning, absolutely crazy.”
Jeongguk tries to swallow down his nerves by the reminder that it wasn’t Namjoon and Hector, but him and Taehyung.
“Really? I heard nothing. Maybe it’s your imagination? Or maybe you were too drunk.” Jeongguk tries to lay it out smoothly, noticing how Hoseok draws his eyebrows together.
“Hm, maybe.” Hoseok continues to make his coffee, the espresso machine buzzing loudly and then Hector and Namjoon step out of their room, walking hand in hand down the stairs, smiles painting their faces.
“Well if it isn’t the two lovebirds. How did you sleep last night?” Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows and Jeongguk freezes for a second, uncertain what to do from here depending on Hector and Namjoon’s answer.
“Perfect.” Hector leans his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, eyes still half open.
“Yeah, we were beat after your terrible drinking game.”
Shit.
“Oh really?” Hoseok asks suspiciously, raising both eyebrows before grabbing his now filled coffee mug and sipping on it gently.
Hector and Namjoon don’t seem to have caught onto the subtle tone of wonder if they did it or not. Jeongguk can’t bring himself to say anything, too focused on his own internal panic because for one, he shouldn’t even really care this much to begin with and secondly there isn’t even a Taehyung and I.
Which therefore means, overthinking about it is a big no in Jeongguk's dictionary. It’s almost as if the words latched onto Taehyung vanished over the course of time when Jeongguk fell into the trap Taehyung planted.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hm?”
“I was just asking if you’re better today. You seemed a bit out of it yesterday.”
Jeongguk fixes the hood of his hoodie, ignoring how airy it feels since he decided to put it on without a shirt.
He’s about to answer when Taehyung steps out of his room and walks down the stairs, a sleeveless oversized top showcasing his well built arms paired with a snapback, and this time it’s beige.
Jeongguk can’t stop looking but forces himself to ignore how Taehyung’s shirt rides up when he stretches as he steps inside the open kitchen.
“Um, yeah I’m good.” Jeongguk looks away, focuses on the coffee mug in front of him even though every nerve inside of him is kicking to look at Taehyung.
It’s almost as if it’s against his own will, a devil on his left shoulder if he may.
“Yo, Taehyungie, did you hear?” Hoseok asks as soon as Namjoon joins Hector on the couch, placing himself directly on top of him as they both giggle loudly.
“Hear what?”
“Yesterday, dude. Hector and Namjoon were so loud,” Hoseok says before taking another sip and Jeongguk gives in to staring in their direction instead of the honeymoon PDA happening on the wide couch.
Jeongguk manages to catch how Taehyung’s face slowly drops, as if realization hits him just as it did Jeongguk earlier.
Although, it doesn’t seem to last long because then Taehyung is chuckling dryly, curving his smile as he quickly glances over at Jeongguk.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Who knew our Namjoonie was getting lucky on this getaway trip?”
“I don’t know, you tell me. Who was the loudest one?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow and Jeongguk immediately catches onto his game.
Everything is always a game to Taehyung, and for Jeongguk too.
After all, it’s their favorite thing and the only thing they share in common.
“Beats me. Both were loud,” Hoseok beams and Jeongguk can’t help but laugh at that, noticing how Taehyung’s plan backfired completely.
“Ah. Right.”
“Something is missing,” Hoseok notes, studying Jeongguk and Taehyung as they both exchange looks.
“Hm?”
“You guys aren’t fighting. Did you guys make up?”
At that, Taehyung and Jeongguk both laugh loudly, Hoseok rolling his eyes.
“What?!”
“You’re funny. There won’t ever be a day where Kim isn’t on my nerves.” Jeongguk points out and Taehyung crosses his arms, biceps flexing by the action.
“Yeah, because you say stupid shit,” Taehyung allows himself to say yet there’s something different in his tone.
It’s light.
Jeongguk doesn’t take it seriously, only sees it as a form of teasing.
Although Hoseok seems to have lost it, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” And then he leaves, stranding Taehyung and Jeongguk in the open kitchen.
“I say stupid shit? At least I have a personality instead of constantly talking about my hookups.” Jeongguk smiles sarcastically, and Taehyung moves closer.
“So, you’re saying you want me to shut up?”
Oh.
Oh.
Jeongguk gulps down, nods. “Yeah.”
“Then do it.”
Jeongguk looks around, notices how it’s only half of the group that’s up, Seokjin and Yoongi back on their early morning sunrise fishing agenda and the rest probably hungover from yesterday. Really, he’s got nothing to lose.
Firmly, he grabs Taehyung’s wrist and guides him around the house until he finds the walk-in closet where everyone had hung their coats and jackets at the arrival. It’s a bit of a risk, which somehow makes it thrilling. Even though Seokjin and Yoongi can take hours fishing, probably half of the time speaking about poetry and life lessons, there’s still that uncertainty of when they’ll exactly be back. Somehow the thrill latches onto Jeongguk when he pushes Taehyung inside, neither Hoseok, Hector or Namjoon catching them leaving.
“Take your pants off,” Jeongguk says the moment he shuts the door, and Taehyung's mouth drops at the sudden order.
“Wait what.”
Jeongguk only raises a brow, challenging Taehyung and then he’s scrambling, bringing his index fingers under the waistband of his pants and pulling them down in an instant. The walk in closet, luckily enough, has a window allowing sunlight. Therefore, when Taehyung removes his pants, boxers clinging onto his thighs nicely, Jeongguk notices the tattoos. He wants his mouth all over them.
Then he begins to walk, steps close enough that he can count the moles on Taehyung’s face, how his intoxicating scent is suddenly all over the air. Jeongguk gets so close, his nose bumps into Taehyung’s. Automatically Taehyung’s eyes shut close, moving closer, his hands moving downward to touch Jeongguk as well.
He feels the glide of his fingers on his naked skin when he moves his hands beneath his hoodie, tracing over his abs, and Jeongguk sighs out in pleasure, loving Taehyung’s hands on him.
Their lips are mere inches apart, Jeongguk wonders what they’d feel like if he pressed his own to them, but then Taehyung is pulling the waistband of Jeongguk's boxers towards himself and Jeongguk can’t help but chuckle by the obvious greediness oozing from Taehyung. As their lips graze, Jeongguk's lips curve and he moves down to Taehyung’s neck, putting his mouth to good use.
“Shit—” Taehyung groans, tightening his hold on Jeongguk’s waistband.
The glide of Jeongguk’s warm tongue joins his mouth in a similar rhythm, wetting the spot he greedily kisses on Taehyung’s skin. He tries to contain himself from giving him a hickey, knowing it’ll be hard to explain that one to everyone around them, but the thought of doing it sends a kick in Jeongguk's gut.
Taehyung’s hold around him tightens, fingers dancing by his abdomen, as if they’re close to considering moving further down. Jeongguk doesn’t know if he’ll be able to focus on kissing Taehyung’s neck properly if his hand was wrapped around his cock. Again, Jeongguk is here to shut Taehyung up, not himself.
But it’s hard to expect something different from Taehyung, because of course he’ll do as he pleases, lowering his fingers further down Jeongguk's abdomen and down to his cock clearly affected by the whole matter.
“You’re already hard.”
“Mhm.” Jeongguk ignores the comment, keeps sucking on Taehyung’s skin, moving further down that his knees slightly bend and before Taehyung’s hand can wrap around his cock, he fully sinks down onto his knees, ignoring the hard wood and how it jabs an annoying pain.
“What are you doing?”
“Gonna make you shut up, Kim.” Jeongguk chuckles again, hands plastered on the exposed thighs, feeling the hair stand up as he moves closer to where Taehyung wants him the most.
Jeongguk would love to edge Taehyung and see how far he can go, but there’s a timer over both of their heads, and frankly even though it’s quite thrilling to do it somewhere other than their bedrooms, he doesn’t want to get caught being on his knees for Kim Taehyung whom everyone knows he claims to hate.
Jeongguk does hate him. But he also can’t stop himself. Taehyung is bad for him. Yet, Jeongguk loves the taste of it.
Instead of directly going for it, Jeongguk dances his fingers across the growing bulge, his breath hot on Taehyung’s left thigh, more specifically the tattoos adorning his skin. Jeongguk's mouth lands down onto them, teeth sinking in gently before he traces his tongue over it and ends it with a soft peck.
Taehyung’s mouth has gone completely slack, eyes squeezed shut as if it’s too overwhelming to look at what Jeongguk is doing. Jeongguk can't keep his eyes off of Taehyung. Something about the constant changes in his expression whenever Jeongguk moves the slightest, sends a thrill through him that he’s rarely felt with anyone.
Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind the biting, instead he seems to be struggling to keep himself from making any noise, especially since the encounter with Hoseok just before.
“Jeon—we don’t have much time.” Taehyung grabs some of Jeongguk's hair, pulls him a bit away from his thigh to face him better.
“I’ll be quick.” Jeongguk goes back to biting down onto the tattoos once more, painting them in his spit before moving his fingers to grasp onto the waistband, pulling them down in an instant.
There’s too much excitement running through Jeongguk to even process the fact he’s about to suck a cock for the first time since the first semester. He moves further, almost drooling over within the fact Taehyung’s just as hard as him, from nothing but simple teasing and some neck kisses.
“Jeon fucking Jeongguk,” Taehyung scolds in a whisper, scared that’ll reach the living room where the rest of the group are hanging out.
“Hm?”
“Stop with the teasing.”
“I’m not. It’s just—” Jeongguk's excitement drops, thoughts circulating around him and the reality that Taehyung’s cock will be the first he’s going to take in his mouth since the beginning of college finally dawns upon him and sends him into a small panic.
“You just?”
“I—shut up.” Jeongguk ignores the worried gaze from Taehyung, goes back to bringing his hands to his cock but then Taehyung pulls him by the hand in his hair again.
“Kim.”
“You’re hiding something.”
“No, I’m not.” Jeongguk begins to move forward but Taehyung’s grip is harder than he thought, making it hard to move.
“Jeon, I’m not letting you near my dick if you can’t be honest with me.”
“Fuck—this is so embarrassing.” Jeongguk nuzzles his nose into Taehyung’s thigh, hiding the light shade of pink covering the tip of his ears.
“Tell me.”
“It’s my first blowjob since the first semester, okay? Now shut up, and let me concentrate.” Jeongguk fixes his posture, knees throbbing by being bent too long but he ignores it, determined to make this quick.
“That’s…” Taehyung stares, doesn’t say anything for what feels like an eternity causing Jeongguk to drown himself in misery, but then he moves his hand towards Jeongguk's jaw and stares deeply at his mouth. “Hot.”
“What.”
“That’s fucking hot, Jeon.” Taehyung smiles, genuine and warm and Jeongguk feels himself land back on the confidence he generally feels when it comes to his own skills with sex.
“Yeah?” Jeongguk keeps staring at Taehyung when he moves closer, trailing his tongue from the base to the tip, Taehyung biting his lip at the action.
“Mhm.”
Jeongguk sports a small smile, puckering his lips around Taehyung’s cock, taking him slowly. Jeongguk forgot how much he enjoys the stretch, how good a cock fills your mouth the more you push in, the sounds emitting from the said action. Jeongguk closes his eyes, focuses solemnly on the softness he feels fill his mouth, the wetness, the sounds when he begins to move his head rapidly, the tightening fist in his hair whenever Taehyung’s cock hits the back of his throat.
“Jeon—Fuck.” Taehyung puts a hand on the metal bar where the coat hangers hang in order, sounds of rustling from jackets erupting in the room. Jeongguk doesn’t stop, takes all of Taehyung’s cock while his hands move down onto his thighs, gripping firmly down onto the skin. Taehyung sounds completely fucked out. His breaths have shortened, small moans managing to slip even though he’s trying to hide them.
Jeongguk can tell Taehyung is close when his body slightly shakes beneath his palms, both hands curling into his hair, holding tight. Jeongguk uses this time to touch Taehyung everywhere he can, hands moving from his thighs to his butt, holding tightly and pushing Taehyung more against his mouth.
“Fuck—Gonna—” Taehyung almost trips on his own two feet when he comes down Jeongguk's throat, his cock twitching inside of Jeongguk's mouth. It’s not until he’s been milked dry that Jeongguk removes himself completely and gets back up on his feet. His legs feel funny and Jeongguk supports himself with one hand on the metal bar to prevent from falling.
“You okay?”
“My fucking legs are cramping. You try and get on your knees for that long and tell me it won’t hit you right after.”
“I’d rather not. Not here.” Taehyung moves closer, pulls his shorts and boxers back up and fixes his snapback. Jeongguk's eyes can’t seem to look anywhere else.
“Wait what?”
“You won’t be able to keep your mouth shut when I’ll suck you off,” Taehyung says before stepping out and leaving Jeongguk flustered and hard.
“Thanks for joining me Jeonggukie,” Seokjin says when he turns down the loud pop song on the radio.
“Yeah, no worries.”
“Can’t believe we’ve already run out of ramyeon. We’ve barely been here for three days.” Seokjin reminds Jeongguk.
Three days.
In three days Jeon Jeongguk has managed to get fucked twice, and suck cock. Three days.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hm?”
“You spaced out there for a minute, bud.”
“Sorry, my brain is fried when it’s on vacation.” He lies and Seokjin buys it.
“Mine too. And, I never got to say this but I’m glad you joined this year. It always felt empty without you,” Seokjin admits truthfully, and Jeongguk feels a sudden punch to the gut. Guilt.
“I’m really glad I did too. I’ve had a lot of fun so far. And I’m sorry I didn’t join any sooner.”
“Don’t be. You’re here now.” Seokjin playfully slaps Jeongguk's shoulder.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“All right, come on guys we’re doing a beer pong competition. Winner gets to have a try-out in the jacuzzi!” Hoseok shouts while moving the tables to make space. Jeongguk is stacking the cups as Ryu pours enough beer into each cup that they won’t easily tip over.
It’s Hoseok’s fun idea again. This time with a reward and Jeongguk would kill to have time alone in that jacuzzi. Last time he had the advantage of using one was back in high school when his parents visited some family friends, their patio having one that Jeongguk used with his older brother.
“All right. Everyone is against each other. Namjoonie? Did you make the board?”
“Right here!”
Everyone faces the huge white board that was stranded in the basement. Names have been placed in boxes, leading to a final match between two participants. Jeongguk notices he’s against Jori for the first round.
“I already give up. You’re too good,” Jori jokes, chuckling next to Jeongguk when they move around the table.
“All right, let’s go guys!” Hoseok cheers, and Jori throws the ping pong ball, landing in the cup closest to Jeongguk.
“Okay, Jori, seems like you got this.” Jeongguk notes, drinking the foamy beer before cleaning the ping pong by dropping it into the glass of water set in the middle of the table. It’s only Ryu and Jimin that are watching attentively, eyes dropping from left and right with every swing from Jeongguk and Jori, meanwhile the rest of the crew are filling up on snacks and talking about the upcoming matches in Spring.
“Shit—Jeongguk how are you so good at this?” Jori manages to say before tipping the beer down in one go, something he’s great at doing. Chugging.
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
“It’s probably because he was on Taehyung’s team at the ugly sweater party.” Hector notes as he had just stepped out of the bathroom, walking down the stairs and catching the on-going conversation.
Jeongguk wishes he had access to duct tape so he could shut Hector up because one, he hasn’t told Ryu and Jori about that night in detail and two, that night was when all hell broke loose.
Or well, less dramatically speaking, when Taehyung told Jeongguk he could shut him up with his cock leading to all of this .
A mess.
One that won’t seem to end well, but Jeongguk doesn’t think about that now, focused only on winning the tournament and receiving his prize in the form of jets massaging his back and ass.
“Oh? Seems like Jeonggukie here has left out an important detail from that night.” Ryu raises an eyebrow and his tone changes dramatically. Jeongguk can read him like a book. Knows the tone means ‘You’re fucked for not telling me this’.
Jeongguk knows there’s no avoiding him now.
“Well, I was hungover, and now I’m trying to win. So everyone shut up, and let me play.”
It seems to make it stop, only for now. Jeongguk wouldn’t be surprised if Ryu brought it up again later or tomorrow when they drive back home to campus.
“Shit! One more to go.” Jori notices when he chugs the next last red solo cup. Jeongguk still has four on his side, grinning from ear to ear.
“One more and you’re out,” he sings jokingly and Jimin giggles at that.
Overall the atmosphere is great. Jeongguk hasn’t had a single thought about Taehyung since they started. Hasn’t even been curious to turn around and look at him, catch what he’s wearing, if he’s still in his lounge wear from earlier, or if he’s changed now that it’s night which equals drinking in Hoseok’s house-book rules.
And then finally, with great success, Jeongguk watches the ping pong swirl around the rim before it lands flat, Jori failing in his attempt at blowing on it to save himself from losing.
Hoseok announces Jeongguk as the winner while Jori chugs the remains of the cup, hugging Jeongguk and then the scoreboard looks different. Jori’s name gets crossed out and Jeongguk moves to play against Ryu after Namjoon and Taehyung play against each other.
Jeongguk doesn’t know how much he’s had to drink when he’s in the semi-final, having to play against Jimin who does this practically every weekend, unable to resist a good time when Uni offers it.
All Jeongguk knows is that he’s drunk.
Drunk enough to giggle a bit louder, his body so hot that he has to throw his hoodie on the couch, feeling much better in the black t-shirt that clings nicely around his chest and arms. Jeongguk doesn’t know if it’s because he’s drunk and has gotten a taste of Kim Taehyung, but he catches him staring at him from afar it almost burns the fabric.
“Okay, Jeonggukie. You ready?” Jimin grins wickedly and Jeongguk nods, too focused on keeping his gaze straight. Jimin seems to be just as drunk as him, missing out on the first three shots. Meanwhile Jeongguk's aim seems to become better when he’s drunk.
Surprisingly he wins, aiming closer to victory but not before taking a break to chug an immense amount of water to sober up and stand outside to regain fresh air to his brain cells he’s lost. Jeongguk knows who he’s up against, saw the board on his way out and it wouldn’t surprise him one bit if everyone stood still to watch it.
Jeongguk against Taehyung is worse than Ronaldo and Messi fans colliding. No one is ready for it.
As Jeongguk steps back in, Namjoon slaps him on the back in a friendly manner.
“I believe in you. Also, please win, I made a bet with Hector and I cannot lose.” He whispers the last part, Jeongguk rolling his eyes.
“You guys are children.”
“Hey! It’s not everyday that we get to see something like that.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do my best.”
When he positions himself in front of the table, Yoongi is pouring beer into the last cup.
Jeongguk takes a moment to crack his neck and knuckles, as if he’s going to war, about to give all of himself.
And he is.
Against Taehyung, he is.
“Okay, who wants to start?”
“Jeon, be my guest.”
“Fine.”
And then everyone stops talking, watches the first throw, Jeongguk not missing, landing the cup on the last row in the middle and smiling internally but not letting it show.
Taehyung watches him as he chugs the beer, wipes his sticky foamy mouth in his hand and cleans the ping pong ball before throwing it and landing one as well. Jeongguk gulps down, grabbing the cup after removing the soaked through ball that smells of every cheap brand of beer they’ve been drinking tonight, so far.
After chugging it down, Jeongguk shakes his head, swings his arm, lands another, and then everyone begins to whisper, scared to interrupt the intensity that is vibrating between Jeongguk and Taehyung.
It’s like Jeongguk blacks out halfway through, and before he knows it, Taehyung and he both have one cup left.
If Taehyung misses, he still has a shot, if he gets it, Jeongguk is done for and the jacuzzi will never be his for the night.
“How badly do you want that jacuzzi, Jeon?”
It feels like a trick question. If Jeongguk gives the sign he really wants it, Taehyung will feel even cockier after winning on top of that, making Jeongguk's loss even more dramatic than it was. But if Jeongguk doesn’t care, it’ll likely make it less exciting.
“Don’t care.”
“Hm.” Taehyung shrugs, positions himself and then the ball flies in the air, landing by the rim and Jeongguk squats, blowing with all his might but to no luck, it falls down. He blames the beer, the lack of sobriety, himself.
Everyone cheers that the match is finally done, or more likely within the fact the match of hell is over. Ryu and Jimin are already trodging to bed, giggly and way too drunk to be awake right now. Hector and Namjoon excuse themselves right after, and Jeongguk thinks it has something to do with the bet. He doesn’t want to know what they bet on.
It leaves Hoseok, Seokjin, and Yoongi to clean up, and Jeongguk joins in. Meanwhile, Taehyung goes upstairs to change to get ready for the jacuzzi.
“Hm, that’s new,” Yoongi notes as he wipes down the sticky table.
“Huh?”
“You and Taehyung.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just, usually he would’ve gone all in your face over winning but you guys barely spoke.”
He’s not wrong. Usually Taehyung would make a fool out of himself if it meant rubbing off an extra ounce of ego on Jeongguk but no, it was absolutely quiet.
“He’s drunk, so am I.”
“Even more of a reason for him to do that.”
“I don’t know. I’m gonna finish the living room, you can go to bed if you’re too tired.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah. It’s all good.” Jeongguk smiles and Yoongi thanks him before disappearing down the hallway and closing his door.
It leaves Hoseok and Seokjin hanging on the couch, Jeongguk picking up the rest of the garbage and leaving it by the entrance to throw out tomorrow morning. As he’s about to walk upstairs, Taehyung steps down in nothing but boxers on and a towel hanging off his shoulder. The marks aren't as visible as they were that night, but it doesn't make it any less of a reminder.
“Good game.”
Jeongguk ignores it, walks past but then he feels the clamp of Taehyung’s hand around his wrist.
“What.”
“Not even a congratulations?” He pouts dramatically and Jeongguk wishes he could push him down the stairs.
“Choke on a sock,” Jeongguk blurts out, too drunk to notice how sock is close to the word cock.
Taehyung chuckles. “I’d rather choke on you but fine, your wish is my command.” He raises both arms in defeat, grinning as he continues to walk down the stairs, Jeongguk catching Hoseok leading him outside and helping him set up the jacuzzi.
Jeongguk goes to bed angry.
It’s weird. Alcohol is an odd thing, for Jeongguk especially. Not even three hours ago was he absolutely shit faced, almost seeing double, but now he’s completely sober, unable to sleep. The inability to sleep is not caused by alcohol, but losing to Taehyung.
It’s childish. Jeongguk knows. But his stomach turns at the reminder that Taehyung has probably used his time in the jacuzzi, basked in the glory, while Jeongguk was lying like Patrick from SpongeBob on his bed, groaning because of his head spinning uncontrollably.
Sometimes you act on emotions. Jeongguk read that somewhere.
Since reading that he’s become more aware of the way that it’s true in his own life. Mostly when he’s seething with anger that makes him act irrationally. And sure, that is completely to blame for Jeongguk getting up from his bed and sneaking outside of his room to catch a chance at the jacuzzi.
But when he steps out, he immediately regrets it.
“Couldn’t stay away, Jeon?”
“Fuck you. I’m not here for you.”
“No? Then what for?”
“The jacuzzi.”
Taehyung frowns. “The one you definitely did not care about?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, steps closer and catches a view of the different colored lights swirling beneath the water. “Your point?”
“Well, had I known, I would’ve let you try it. No need to whine.”
“I’m not fucking whining. It’s your prize, whatever, you go and enjoy it. I’m going back to bed.” Jeongguk steps back, manages to slide the door open until Taehyung speaks up.
“Not my fault you can’t blow on a ping pong ball properly.”
Jeongguk smacks the sliding door shut, stomping directly towards Taehyung, so close he bends over the jacuzzi, elbows resting on the edge.
“It was the beer, Kim.”
“Oh right, the beer.” Taehyung scoffs but it sounds like a laugh he’s trying to cover up. “How could I forget? Beer makes you unable to blow, you’re so right.”
“I am. I would’ve been able to if it weren’t for that.”
“So what? You’re saying it’s a tie?”
“Feels like it.”
“It’s not. If it were you’d be sitting in this jacuzzi with me.”
Jeongguk is still raging in anger. “Okay.” He bites back, brings a hand to his t-shirt, pulls it over his head and strips himself to his boxers in front of Taehyung who’s shaking his head.
“You’re such a sore loser.”
“Fuck off, it was a tie!” And then Jeongguk slides in, proves his point and Taehyung grins when Jeongguk crosses his arms, trying not to let himself get lost in the comfort and calmness from the water pressure.
“You just wanted an excuse to see me. Cute.”
“I did not—”
“No, no, I’m flattered. I mean, I had no idea we would get here but, really I’m flattered.”
Jeongguk tilts his head back, and finds it best not to stare at Taehyung when he talks to him. The effect lessens his anger.
“Not everything is about you and your dick.”
“Oh, but it is.”
Jeongguk chuckles out of disbelief. “It’s really not.”
“Hm, that’s hard to believe when you really can’t keep yourself away.”
“It’s you who can’t keep away.”
“Okay, then let’s make a bet.” Jeongguk tilts his head back, watching Taehyung sweep his hair back with both hands.
“A bet.”
“Mhm. First one to give in loses.”
“Good luck with that.” Jeongguk goes back to fully relaxing, closing his eyes as he completely sinks down, only his head resting above, chin grazing the water.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Think I’ll tap out, Jeon?”
Jeongguk naturally raises an eyebrow. “Well, you can’t go two days without getting your dick wet, so yeah, I give you a solid twenty minutes before you say fuck it.”
“Twenty minutes, wow, I mean I know you don’t like me Jeon, but you’re breaking my heart.” He feigns innocent puppy eyes, dramatizing it with a hand on his wet chest.
“I don’t like you, and you don’t like me, it’s fair play.” Jeongguk shrugs, tilting his head backwards to stop looking at Taehyung who can’t seem to not run his hands through his hair.
“My reasons are more valid than your ‘cocky fuckboy’!” Taehyung switches his tone to high pitched and annoying, a parody of what Jeongguk sounds like to him, it only makes Jeongguk laugh.
“You’re full of shit.”
Taehyung doesn’t respond, doesn’t move either and Jeongguk forgets that he’s even here for a moment, too drowned out by the wonderful warmth from the jacuzzi. The pressured water presses delicately on Jeongguk's back, massaging his muscles.
And as peace and quiet was all he ever needed, Jeongguk gets so caught up in the pleasurable warmth, body and mind out of his control that he lets out a pleasant hum. It sounds close to a moan, and Jeongguk quickly realizes when he feels Taehyung move in the water slowly.
“Was that on purpose? To rile me up?”
“It’s a fucking noise not some lap dance, Kim,” Jeongguk spits back, tilting his neck so they’re face to face again.
“You know what you’re doing. You’re just doing this to make me lose, so your point gets proven.”
“I’m not—”
“Mhm.”
“I wasn't—”
“Yes?” Taehyung sports a grin that Jeongguk desperately wants to wipe off.
“You’re insufferable.”
“It’s what I do best. And that counts for losing too.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “Wait, what?”
As Taehyung chuckles dryly, he moves closer, hovering above Jeongguk who’s eyes have grown wide by the sudden close proximity.
“Make me lose, Jeon, the win is all yours.”
Nibbling his bottom lip, Jeongguk debates whether to give in, to push Taehyung against the jacuzzi and have his way with him, his hands wandering on his naked torso, feeling the wetness and tightening the grip on his—
No.
Jeongguk tilts his head, Taehyung mimicking him, eyes fully drawn onto his that their movements seem to move in sync and just as Jeongguk draws closer, breaths exchanged and barely a graze to their lips, he whispers, “No.”
Taehyung’s expression changes drastically, eyebrows no longer in a frown and concentrated, this time they’re fully relaxed as if they’ve let go completely of the possibility.
There is still a chance, Jeongguk just likes to mess with him. So therefore, when his face brightens like a neon sign, Jeongguk laughs and brings a hand on his chest, pushing him back to his earlier position. Taehyung joins in, splashing some water towards him.
“Asshole.”
“Yeah, clearly you want it.”
Taehyung goes quiet, turns his head to look anywhere else, Jeongguk aware it’s his way of answering the biggest yes you could write.
“Aw cute, you really do want me. I’m flattered.” Jeongguk brings out a pout, mocking Taehyung from earlier when he had been pissy about the tie—it’s a tie in his book.
“You fucking should be.”
“Oh?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, moving closer to Taehyung to test his limits, really trying to get him riled up as much as possible and not just by making a sudden noise.
“Yeah. You should be.” Taehyung repeats them as if Jeongguk didn’t hear him the first time, and maybe he hadn’t, too focused on placing a perfect distance between them where his hands are on each side of him, face inches away from his earlobe that’s begging to be bitten softly.
“Well, then I’m flattered, Kim.” Jeongguk presses his mouth onto the earlobe, Taehyung’s breath hitching by the contact, tilting his head by reflex as Jeongguk stays precise and unmoving.
“Uh—Uh huh.” Taehyung loses his words, Jeongguk working further down, below his ear where his tongue circles over the soft skin that’s painted in droplets.
While his mouth is busy, his ears aren’t, catching every single noise that falls from Taehyung’s lips. Some are short, others long and coming more from his chest than just the tip of the tongue. It shouldn’t drive Jeongguk this crazy, but fuck, it does.
“Jeon—“
“Mhm?” Jeongguk keeps sucking a spot near Taehyung’s nape, the wet hair caressing his nose.
“Come here.”
Jeongguk feels the hold of Taehyung’s arm around his waist, hoisting him up to sit directly down on his lap, his hard cock brushing against his own that has worked itself up just as much.
“Shi—Kim.” Jeongguk brings himself back to face him, and finds out that it’s a mistake with how the movements cause a certain friction, one that feels too good to be true.
Taehyung seems just as lost, eyes drawn downwards as if he can spot what’s underneath the small bubbles, meanwhile Jeongguk tries to keep himself still.
Taehyung doesn’t seem to be on board with that idea, pushing his palm into Jeongguk's lower back, creating a perfect arch. He gives another buck of his hips, the friction enough for both of them to lose their minds.
“Fuck—keep going—” Taehyung is so out of it, barely able to focus on how Jeongguk's expression changes with each passing motion. Some rolls of their hips are longer, some shorter for a quick grind, yet every motion ignites that certain arousal in the pit of their stomachs, yearning for release.
Moving underwater feels a bit funny, slows down the movements a lot more which Jeongguk is a bit bothered by.
He finds it too intimate, like something couples do, not two people who’d rather bite each other's heads off than shake hands after a winning match.
But this, this is slow. It’s so fucking good and Jeongguk is losing it.
To keep himself guarded, he threads his fingers in Taehyung’s soaked, curly hair, massaging his scalp as the hot breath from Taehyung’s mouth lands on his chest. He sucks and kisses it, wet noises filling the air from the ministrations.
“Ah—shi—fuck.” Jeongguk tilts his head back, closes his eyes to allow the sensation to turn stronger.
To really feel each movement of Taehyung’s tongue on his skin, to feel his cock beneath his own. How, despite the layer of their briefs, it feels incredible to the point that Jeongguk is already tipping closer to the edge.
It seems to be reciprocated with the way Taehyung’s hand lands further down, squeezing his ass firmly to bring him closer, chests now rubbing against each other, water sloshing around them.
“‘M—M’so. Fuck, don’t stop,” Taehyung pants against his skin, writing the words on his skin as Jeongguk's fingers tighten in his hair, breath quickening as the pressure chases him.
“Kim—“ Jeongguk doesn’t know why he says it, maybe as a warning because soon he stills above him, his cock twitching as he comes undone.
Taehyung follows suit, teeth biting down onto Jeongguk's peck to muffle his moan that ripples from his throat.
They don’t move, breaths trying to catch up to a normal rhythm as well as their heartbeats. Jeongguk suddenly feels exhausted, slumping down on Taehyung that welcomes him too easily. For a moment it’s just that, barely a minute of just holding on to each other.
Jeongguk ends it quickly by pushing himself up, looking down at Taehyung who’s clearing his throat. “I’m going to bed.”
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
What the fuck was that.
Notes:
THANK U FOR READINGGGG !!!
if you wanna see more about ktg and further updates, follow me on twt heheeee
also psst chapter four is my favorite chapter so get excited :>
Chapter 4
Notes:
ihhhh well well well if it isn't my favorite chapter !!!!
again, thank you gray baby for beta-reading this chap and screaming along every line. and big thank you’s to luca for coming up with taehyung’s costume and jai for coming up with jori’s. and noji for making sure i keep track of all the costumes djdjjdjd i love you guys. 💛
I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY LOVES MWAH!!
(ps. you did not read midfielder in chap 1, no you didn’t, they’re strikers. always have been. okay bye i suck.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Fuck! I missed our couch,” Ryu groans in excitement as he slumps down, hugging every pillow while Jori directly moves to the kitchen to make some of his mother’s special hangover tea.
It was a mistake to drive home the day after the beer pong tournament.
Jori had ended up with a plastic bag in his hands, feeling carsick while Ryu had tried to lighten the mood with some of his favorite rap songs. Hector was too busy texting Namjoon, completely avoiding the rundown Ryu did on Western rap, and Jeongguk had hugged and taken care of Jori.
“Let me make it for you. Go lay down.” Jeongguk stops Jori in the middle of it, his fingers trembling while reaching for the necessities.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, go.” Jori thanks him with a shoulder squeeze and a small hidden smile, dragging himself to his room while Hector and Ryu show extreme appreciation to every single piece of furniture. A habit Jeongguk has seen happen over the course of the two years he’s lived with them.
When the water begins to boil, Jeongguk moves to his room, unpacking, but leaving his door open to hear the small greetings fall from Ryu’s lips when he reaches the corner filled with plants.
“Hi pretty, oh wow look at you handsome and—wait. Hector? Now that Namjoon isn’t here, I can finally say this.”
Jeongguk halts in his movements, too curious, peaking a head outside when Hector is placing the pillows back in order, and drawing a frown on his face in confusion. “What?”
“You guys were being loud. I mean, two nights in a row?! Damn…who even are you?” Ryu laughs at that, Hector chuckles awkwardly, and Jeongguk knows he’s absolutely screwed.
He ignores it, acts unaffected when the water stops boiling, and he goes to pour the tea for Jori.
“We didn’t—Namjoon said the walls were too thin to…so we haven’t.”
“Wait what.”
Fuck.
Shit. Shit.
Big ultra fucking shit.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hm?” Jeongguk dips the teabag in the mug, not looking back to see Ryu who’d read it from a mile away.
“Did you hear anything those two nights? I could’ve sworn I heard clapping and not the—”
“We get it, but uhm no. I didn’t. I think you must’ve had some form of hallucination while sleeping drunk.” Jeongguk adds as if he even has high class knowledge about alcohol to begin with. He doesn’t. But he’d rather act like a fool for a second than admit he’s been fucking around with Kim Taehyung during their cabin trip.
“Huh.”
Jeongguk takes it as his cue to leave, tucking his lips into a thin line as he moves around the apartment, reaching Jori’s bedroom where he lies with his eyes closed, an arm over his forehead as he whines in pain.
“Here’s your tea. Do you need anything else? Advil, maybe?”
“Hm, I took one earlier. I think I just need to catch up on some sleep, thanks Jeongguk, for the tea.”
“No problem.” He places the mug down, closes the door shut to leave Jori uninterrupted for the time being.
When he reaches the kitchen, Ryu stares at him with a suspicious gaze, eyes squinted and lips in a pout.
“What.”
“Are you hiding something?”
Yes.
“Hm, no? Should I hide something?”
Ryu steps closer, huffing as he crosses his arms. “I don’t know, you tell me. You’ve just been awfully quiet. Usually by now you would have said at least one thing that Taehyung did during the trip that was insufferable the moment he’s out of sight. So yeah, something is up.”
Jeongguk smacks his lips. “Nothing is up . I’m tired, hungover as well, I don’t want to get a headache over Kim and his bullshit. I want to sleep, and you should too if you want to be up and runnin’ for class tomorrow.”
“You’re right. If you wake up before me, can you come cuddle me awake?”
Jeongguk grins, knowing it’ll likely happen. “‘Course, Ryu.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Ah! Jeongguk, my Golden boy, how was fall break?” Coach Lee asks Jeongguk first thing when he steps onto the field, earlier than the others.
“Hey, Coach! It was fun, went with the rest of the guys to Hoseok’s cabin for a few days,” Jeongguk says, reminiscing the memories of the drinking games, and the fucking. He really can’t ever forget it.
“I hope you’re ready for training today, I’ve got my eye on you.” He grins and Jeongguk only nods, accepts the high pressure he’s always felt, uses it as a variable for constantly exhausting himself if it means even one tight curved smile from his Coach.
Jeongguk knows it’s not healthy, and is aware of the long process of overworking himself but he’s kept up with it for over a year, he can take a year more, easily.
“I’m ready.” Jeongguk zips up the wind breaker, puts his hands to good use by plunging them down in his pockets as he begins to stretch his ankles, beginning the warm up a bit before training.
“I know you are, kid.” Coach Lee grabs the necessities for the training, a stack of water bottles sitting by the bench.
Jihoon shows up right after, clipboard in his hand and a broad smile.
“Hey Jeongguk, how was your break?” He asks when he spots him not far away, stretching and craning his neck that’s been aching for a while.
“Good. Needed, too.”
“That sounds about right.” Jihoon chuckles, bringing out the schedule for the training program. Until the season is back close to Spring where they’ll be pushed constantly with matches from different cities and districts, they have a rigorous practice routine.
Jeongguk is mostly excited for their match against Ilsan, a rivalry that has been going on for years, even before he began his semester in University.
Slowly, everyone steps onto the field. Yoongi is the first Jeongguk catches sight of, followed closely by Seokjin who’s rambling about the lack of fresh fish being sold on the market when he went there yesterday evening.
There’s only a small nod exchanged between them, not even a full day passing by since they last saw each other.
Jeongguk brings his knee upwards, holding tightly onto his leg to feel that nice stretch that lashes out.
“Hey, there’s my Jeonggukie!” Hoseok runs up to him, flying onto Jeongguk's back who almost trips onto his own two feet by shock.
“Hyung! I almost fell!” He scolds him, Hoseok grinning as he swings his legs beside him, wiggling in his hold.
“You’re a buff baby, shut up.” Then he hops off, slings an arm around his shoulders instead. The rest of the team joins them with light steps.
“M’not a baby,” Jeongguk groans, hiding his face in embarrassment by the nickname everyone seems to have given him.
Coach Lee joins them in the middle of the field, Jihoon following close behind with the clipboard and a net full of soccer balls.
“All right, is everyone here?” He counts with his fingers, Jeongguk looking around to see if he notices anyone missing and it shouldn’t have been so fast for him to realize the missing presence of—
“Where’s Taehyung? Anyone seen him?”
And at that, Taehyung steps out, two girls following close behind with high pitched giggles as they move to sit on the bleachers to watch him practice.
Taehyung sends a wink their way before he speeds up towards the field, realizing everyone is waiting for him to start.
“Sorry for the delay, Coach. I was busy—”
Coach Lee sends him a cold glare, springing an eyebrow up at the sight of the two girls. “From now on Kim, don’t mix training with pleasure, got it? This is a warning.”
As Taehyung nods, everyone picks up their training, beginning with a running session to get the blood pumping and the body moving.
The girls stay there during the whole practice, Jeongguk's eyes hurt from rolling so much whenever he catches Taehyung turning his head to look at them. But thankfully, Hoseok keeps Jeongguk focused, alongside Seokjin who’s cracking dad jokes in the middle of training.
Stretching after training is Jeongguk's favorite thing, how they all calmly breathe the air around them as they stretch their limbs to prevent soreness in certain areas.
Coach Lee and Jihoon are standing close by, chatting through details of the first training since fall break, breaking down pin points on everyone’s shape and form. The girls are quiet, too busy staring down at one of their phones swiping, yet their eyes still frequently trail upwards to catch Taehyung.
Jeongguk doesn’t spare another second, used to Taehyung bringing his hookups to his training; making them think they have him, that they’re special , when really it’s just to please Taehyung, give him what he wants.
Even though Jeongguk is now on the other side as well of those who have gotten the privilege to have Taehyung in a sexual context, he doesn’t feel any of it. He doesn’t feel like he’s special, certainly doesn’t want to, and he especially does not want Taehyung to think he has him and vice versa.
It was sex, during a cabin trip, nothing more and nothing less. Also within the fact that they haven’t spoken since they’ve gotten back home, neither sparing a glance towards each other.
Yeah, definitely just a cabin trip sexcapade.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Hey, do you have the notes for last class? I was sick right before break.” Mina asks Jeongguk after tapping him on the shoulder while Mr. Kim is too busy trying to get the projector to work.
“Oh! Yeah sure, do you want it over email? Or does something else work better?”
“Actually, could I get your number? You could send it through messages, making it easier for me to keep in check with my notes throughout the semester.” Her phone is already in her hands, and for a second Jeongguk wonders if this was her plan all along, to get his number. But then he thinks again and realizes that’s ridiculous.
“Yeah, sure thing.” He grabs the phone, smiles kindly to her before typing it in and the moment she regains it, Mr. Kim smacks his palms together, raising the attention of the waiting students.
“Now for today’s class we’re…”
from: unknown number
this is mina 😊
Jeongguk changes the contact, looks behind him one more time before focusing fully on the experiment in regards to their subject.
“Now, I want you all to remember the different terms from today. I'm handing out a pop quiz where we’ll study the terms as it’ll be brought up for the finals. Next time, we’ll be digging more into the subject of evil and where it comes from, along with a film. See you on Thursday.” Mr. Kim excuses his students, beginning to stuff his computer and the stack of papers beside him in his bag.
As Jeongguk saves his notes, he sends them out to Mina who’s packing up her things at a slow pace, eyes trained on Jeongguk when he turns to confirm.
“You’re a lifesaver. And hey, I was thinking, did you want to grab coffee one day? Just so I can repay you for this, cause really, you saved me out there.” She’s not wrong. If you forget one or two terms, you’re screwed in Psychology. It’s what makes the major hard, but interesting to keep up with.
“Yeah, uhm, we could do Saturday?” Jeongguk notices how her eyes widen, as if she hadn’t expected that, whereas Jeongguk is saying yes because one, he’s clearly not reading this right and second, it would be nice to have a friend in class. One you can rely on when Mr. Kim has his bad days and brings it out on the students by grilling them from head to toe.
“Y-yeah, Saturday is great, works for me.” She scrambles to pick up her stuff, cheeks flushed in a light pink shade and Jeongguk doesn’t spare it a thought. Figures it’s the temperature of the room, as his own shirt is clinging tightly to his back.
“See you around, Jeongguk.” She bites her lip as she smiles. Jeongguk gives her a small wave before he returns to sling his backpack onto one shoulder.
“How was class?” Ryu asks when Jeongguk slumps down onto the couch, sighing loudly.
“Good, Mr. Kim had us watch an experimental film called Three Identical Strangers, it’s about these three triplets who were adopted separately at birth and find their way back to each other, but it gets all kinds of fucked up later throughout it. It’s a good one though, it really gives you an aspect of nature and nurture.” Jeongguk explains softly, hugging a pillow tight around his form.
“Damn, that’s insane, why would they separate them?”
“Ryu, just watch the movie.” Jeongguk glances behind him, Ryu in the middle of making tea for them, Jeongguk's favorite.
“I will, I will. So I take it class was okay? No bad mood Mr. Kim today?” Ryu rushes over with the tea mugs, Jeongguk carefully grasping onto the edge to not burn his fingers, sipping gently as he thanks Ryu who sits down next to him.
“No bad mood, thank fuck.” Jeongguk grins. “Class was good, I helped out this girl, Mina, with notes and we’re grabbing coffee Saturday because she wanted to repay the gesture.”
Ryu’s face falls instantly. “Hector! Jori! Get in here! Jeon Jeongguk has a fucking date!”
“Wait what.” Jeongguk barely manages to say more before Jori is speeding out from his room, pulling a hoodie over his head and Hector following suit, almost sliding too fast with his fuzzy socks on.
“Jeongguk what!? Date? When? Who? Oh my fucking god!” Hector is hectic, screaming with so much excitement that Jeongguk figures to not burn himself, he should place the mug down for now.
“It’s not a date, she just offered and I said yes. I mean, it would be nice to have a friend in class, no?”
“Yeah, of course.” Jori agrees, seeing nothing wrong in a platonic friendship, one that Jeongguk is very keen on having.
Mina seems nice enough, and interesting.
“Wrong! No no, this has got to be a date.” Ryu is dead set, Jori rolling his eyes as he sits next to Jeongguk and leans his head on his shoulder.
“It’s not a date, Ryu.”
“Well, okay, how did she ask you? Pretend I’m you, and you’re Mina.” Ryu changes position, mimicking Jeongguk jokingly which only manages to brighten smiles in the room.
“Okay, well, she said,” Jeongguk clears his throat, “You’re a lifesaver, how about we grab coffee one day so I can repay you for this, because really you saved me. Something like that, it was very nice of her, honestly.” Jeongguk shrugs, nonchalant meanwhile Hector and Ryu exchange a familiar look and that’s when Jeongguk feels himself be completely doomed.
Hector gently places a hand on top of Jeongguk's. “Listen, Jeonggukie, I love you, I do, but my god you are oblivious!”
Ryu shakes his head. “She wants you. She wants to fuck Jeongguk, and drink coffee too, but mostly the first option. There’s no way around it.”
“Ryu, please you cannot be serious—”
“I am, deadly. Did she bite her lip before leaving?”
“I—”
Ryu's eyes turn fully wide. “Oh my god, she did, didn’t she?! Oh she wants you. Damn Jeongguk, look at you getting some action, I mean good for you, it’s been since, what, first semester since you last got lucky?”
Not even two days ago.
“Yeah… uh, something like that. But I don’t, I don’t know if I’m interested, really,” Jeongguk says in full honesty. He hadn’t even considered her in that way, and even if he did, he doesn’t really have time for a relationship.
“Okay, well, go drink that coffee with her and if she throws a hint, tell her you’re not interested,” Jori says simply, Jeongguk grinning, shaking his head.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Well it is, no?”
“It can be, I don’t know, I’m more worried in terms of class and the aftermath if I actually do end up rejecting her.” Jeongguk nibbles his bottom lip, biting it for comfort, a bad habit he’s gained since he was little.
Jori notices, nuzzles his nose further in the crook of his neck, allowing his focus to divert elsewhere. “I think in all honesty, that she’d much rather appreciate the honesty than gaining false hope. We all go through rejection and do it ourselves.”
“Absolutely. You’re right. Thanks, Jori.” Jeongguk supports his chin on his forehead, Hector and Ryu smiling softly as they come to agreement.
“Are you guys going to the campus coffee shop or downtown Seoul?” Hector settles on asking.
“Hm, not sure, I’ll send her a text tomorrow before Saturday.”
“All right, but even if you do end up being interested, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Ryu manages to say before they all return to their own tasks.
Hector washes their clothes from the cabin trip, Jori empties the dishwasher and Ryu and Jeongguk prepare to go outside to buy groceries for dinner tonight.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Jeongguk. What the fuck did you eat for breakfast for you to aim that goal so perfectly? I mean calm down you striker!” Hoseok lightly punches Jeongguk on the shoulder when they walk back to the locker rooms, all drenched in sweat and uniforms clinging tightly.
“Shut up.” Jeongguk shakes his head, trying to hide a smile, but fails when Hoseok catches him.
The conversations rumble, loud chaos entering the cold, messy locker rooms that are quickly filled, everyone throwing their things around, undressing while chatting mindlessly about training and other classes.
Jeongguk is focused on trying to get his shoes off, but the tone Taehyung uses behind him is hard to miss when Seokjin shamelessly asks him about the recent events.
“Taehyung, we all know why they were there.”
Taehyung chuckles, moving around behind Jeongguk who keeps his eyes fixed on his own red soccer shoes covered in dirt.
“Shut up, hyung. It’s not like that.”
“So you’re telling me you didn’t fuck them?”
It goes quiet and then Namjoon whistles. “Damn, a threesome before practice? You’re wild. Like truly wild. How do you even have time for that?”
“I don’t know, it just happened. I never plan ahead okay? I’m not that wild, hyung. Come on, you’re overestimating me.” Taehyung’s voice rings through the echoey room, and Jeongguk finally manages to take off his shoes and socks, hurriedly taking off the rest of his clothes and still not looking back at Taehyung.
“‘It just happened’. Right, cause threesomes always ‘just happen’.” Namjoon scoffs in shock, Taehyung laughing loudly.
“Shut up and go shower, you stink.”
“Dick.” Namjoon mumbles under his breath but moves to the showers, Jeongguk following suit, eyes still not turning to meet Taehyung.
The showers are usually quiet, each player occupied to wash up and head to class to avoid being late. Jeongguk is not one of them, having class a bit later today which gives him enough time to head home and make some lunch before his afternoon class.
As the soap bubbles wash away in the drain, Jeongguk rinses himself and steps out, grabbing his blue towel hanging close by and wrapping it around his waist.
Hoseok and Taehyung are the only ones who are done with their showers, conversations flowing through the room as Hoseok puts on a sock and Taehyung clasps on the gold chains around his neck, towel hanging low enough to expose the trimmed patch of pubes.
Jeongguk's mouth goes dry by the reminder he’s seen everything beneath that.
When Jeongguk puts on a t-shirt, his phone is placed on the bench along with his bag.
Hoseok is tying his shoelaces when Jeongguk's phone pings beside him.
“Hey, Jeonggukie, someone is trying to reach you.”
Jeongguk is too busy shaking his towel in his hair. “Who is it?”
Then he hears Hoseok giggle, “Who’s Mina?”
“Just someone from psychology class,” Jeongguk excuses, allowing the suspicion to rise of their relationship when really, there’s nothing to it other than classmates.
Well maybe from her side, but Jeongguk doesn’t want to think too much about it as the uncomfortable thought arises that he might have to reject her.
“Are you sure it’s just someone? She’s asking if three o’clock works for you at the campus cafe on Saturday,” Hoseok beams and then Jeongguk brings the towel down, catching the frown on Taehyung’s face for a split second before it dissolves into nothing.
“Shut up.” He chuckles when Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows, but asks no further and then Taehyung leaves, not a single goodbye or a see you later slipping from his lips like usual.
“What’s up with him?” Jeongguk finds himself asking even though he couldn’t care less.
“Don’t know.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
from: mina
hey i’m inside furthest down 😊
[read now]
to: mina
here in 2 !!
Truth be told, Jeongguk may have stood for a bit longer outside of the coffee shop, nerves meeting him halfway when he had started his walk from the apartment to the center of campus.
He doesn’t usually do this, dating, dates, relationships. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s time. Time doesn’t allow him to fully commit, to focus on getting to know the other person in question, and to move the relationship forward.
And listen, Mina is a great girl. She’s a great student, raising her hand often when no one dares to meet Mr. Kim on his bad days, and she’s polite.
Jeongguk has a lot of respect for her, but that doesn’t mean it’s that for him. He tries to stick to Jori’s suggestion, the one that seemed so easy when said, but harder to be done. He takes a deep breath, chest rising so high it almost meets his chin, and then he steps in, spotting Mina quickly whose hand is waving excitedly from afar.
There’s no one here really, most returning home to their parents during weekends or sticking their nose in books at the campus library.
Jeongguk should probably be studying too, but procrastination is his best friend and the key to great success in his assignments.
He works well under pressure, always has.
Maybe that’s what makes him a great soccer player too.
“Hey, you!” She greets with two coffee mugs already placed on the table. Mina seems to notice how Jeongguk has been staring at them. “Oh sorry, I just figured I could order now before the café gets crowded later. I hope you don’t mind.”
Jeongguk doesn’t.
“All good. Thanks, Mina. Again, just, for all of this really.”
“It’s no worries, been meaning to ask you for a while and it seemed to fit perfectly after you offered your help so easily. Also, your notes are great, I could find my way around it even though usually I have to write my own notes to remember everything.” She explains as Jeongguk takes a few sips, finding the coffee a bit too sweet for his liking but doesn’t comment on it.
“That’s really great to hear, I have the same problem sometimes. And, you really didn’t have to go out of your way to do all of this, a thank you is more than enough.”
Her smile tightens when he says it, as if she’s already taken on the sign that Jeongguk would rather keep it at a classmate level.
“Right, yeah, no worries.”
Jeongguk hesitates to divert the conversation elsewhere, the silence killing him from the inside.
“Oh, hey, are you going to the Halloween party next week?” She asks more loosely, now that intentions have been thrown out of the window, and Jeongguk feels better already.
“Yeah, Hoseok-hyung hasn’t talked about anything else.”
“I wouldn’t either if I were the host. He’s done such a great job at hosting parties during the semesters. Also he has so much space in his apartment, no wonder it fits half of campus.” She grins and Jeongguk nods.
“Yeah, he’s great.”
“You play soccer with him, right?”
As Jeongguk is about to answer, a group steps inside the coffee shop, loud noise destroying the calming music playing on low.
Jeongguk makes the mistake of turning around, seeing no other than Taehyung with an arm around someone he doesn’t recognize with Kwan, Minho and Soohyun.
Jeongguk has spoken with them quite often, all three decent, fun guys who have a great passion for soccer just like him.
“And them.” She trails off, Jeongguk gaining eye contact with Taehyung for a second but their heads quickly move elsewhere.
“And them, yeah. Hoseok-hyung as well. He’s a great defense player.” Jeongguk smiles, ignores how it doesn’t seem genuine because then Mina continues to talk about something else along the lines of classes and campus life.
The too-sweet coffee is quickly gone, Jeongguk drinking more than talking, and it results in having to go to the bathroom earlier than expected.
“I’ll be back in a sec.” Jeongguk smiles as he gets up, chair squeaking against the clean floor and then he’s walking out back, the bathroom right next to the coffee station.
The moment he’s inside, he catches Taehyung washing his hands, glancing at himself and fixing his hair in the snapback.
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, moves to stand by a pissoir.
“She seems nice,” he hears when he unzips his pants, Taehyung still staring at his own reflection.
“Mind your business, Kim.”
“Hey, just being nice.”
Jeongguk scoffs at that, turns around to stare him down. “Yeah, that doesn’t exactly work between you and I okay? So cut the shit and go back to your hookup, she’s probably waiting for you.”
Taehyung grins as he stretches his arms above his head, the black jeans hanging low enough to expose the slight sliver of skin and waistband of his boxers when he moves.
“It doesn’t but you know, it's worth a try. And thanks, Jeon, you’re so nice.” He manages to clap Jeongguk’s back when he walks past, opening the door but Jeongguk doesn’t allow him to leave before spitting a classic;
“Yeah, fuck you.”
Taehyung dramatically throws a flying kiss his way, one Jeongguk avoids by frowning and goes back to what he originally came in here to do.
“So, how did it go?” Ryu asks the moment Jeongguk steps in, shoes barely off.
“Um, it was good. She got the signal and yeah we just talked about other things.” Jeongguk explains in short, unzipping his hoodie as he walks over to the couch where Ryu is snuggled up with High School Musical playing on the screen.
“Ah, so no fucking?”
“No fucking.”
“Hm, okay. Also, can we agree that Sharpay is better than Gabriella I mean, she’s the whole fucking package with her charm and pink clothing. She’s so hot.”
Jeongguk chuckles, staring down at Sharpay that’s speaking with Ryan. “Mhm, Gabriella was annoying.”
“So annoying. The older you get the more you see it. Oh—oh here it comes. Shut it.”
And then Ryu starts singing, grabbing the remote to create his very own microphone and Jeongguk watches the whole scene unfold, laughing when Ryu flicks his chin.
The song Fabulous seems to have woken Jori and Hector from their afternoon nap, sleepy eyes and raspy voices joining in on the absolute goldmine performance that Jeongguk is lucky to see.
It’s moments like these where Jeongguk feels incredibly lucky to not only have the best roommates ever, but the best friends too.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
They’re already late. The party started almost an hour ago, which Ryu makes sure to remind everyone as Jori and Hector rushed to finish their costumes, Jeongguk still slacking in his usual clothing.
“Jeongguk?! Seriously, what are you wearing?”
He looks down, staring at the plain white t-shirt paired with baggy jeans with holes by the knees. “The usual–What? Why are you making that face?”
“This is a halloween party, no excuses for laziness. You have five minutes to make something up or I’m forcing you in my inflatable dinosaur costume,” Ryu warns, already dressed as Anakin, a costume he’s spent months saving up for and it shows; the details out-of-this-world good.
“Fuck no. Okay, fine. Just—” Jeongguk groans, returning to his room and going through his clothing.
He doesn’t seem to find anything until his hand reaches the pit of his wardrobe, his hand grabbing onto something he hasn’t worn since high school. Jeongguk shakes it off from the dust, grinning when he puts it on his head and returns to his roommates, all of them ready to go.
“What the fuck is that?” Hector raises an eyebrow when Jeongguk chuckles as he adjusts his clothing when they get themselves out of the door.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m a fuckboy,” Jeongguk answers with a flirting tone, Ryu rolling his eyes.
“You’re so lazy.”
“Hey hey, at least give me an A-plus for trying.”
“Jeongguk, this outfit is a D-minus.”
Jeongguk scoffs, spending an annoyingly long time putting his sneakers on before straightening his back. “Well, at least I’m wearing a costume.”
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Do you have the wine bottle with you?”
“Secured.”
“All right, fuckers, let’s get out of here.”
The loud music coming from Hoseok’s apartment vibrates the floor when Jeongguk and the rest walk up the stairs. Jori is already sipping on the wine bottle, one they shared on their way not wanting to be completely sober at a party that they’re showing up late to.
Hoseok beams excitedly when he opens the door, plastic cup in hand. “You came!”
Jeongguk can’t seem to figure out the costume, other than it’s probably creative knowing Hoseok has a full Pinterest board of costumes for different occasions. “Come in, come in. Jeongguk, why aren’t you dressed?”
“I am! I’m a fuckboy,” he says passing by Hoseok who’s left dumbfounded. Jori claps his shoulder when he says, “We tried to tell him.”
“Well. Okay. Let’s get drunk!”
“I like how you think, hyung!” Jeongguk shouts, moving around the apartment. He notices how dark it is, flickering lights in every corner and Halloween appropriate decorations such as spider webs and fake blood splattered onto the walls.
The loud pop song rings in Jeongguk's ears, Jori swinging an arm around his shoulders and following him to the kitchen where they can make their first drink of the night.
Hector and Ryu go to the bathroom first thing, both having complained about needing to pee their whole way over to Hoseok’s apartment.
The kitchen counter is filled with different bottles, cups everywhere along with open cabinets that will likely be empty by the end of the night.
Jeongguk finds an accessible corner, Jori placing the tequila and mixer, grabbing the rest as Jeongguk begins to pour.
Thriller begins to play loudly in the speakers, Jori humming along as the drinks fill up.
Hector and Ryu show up when the wolf howls and the tempo of the beat rises.
“Woo, thanks Jeongguk!” Ryu grabs the cup, sipping and humming in delight over the taste. Hector follows suit, grabbing a cup and hugging Jeongguk in thanks and then Namjoon appears from behind, hugging Hector and peppering his cheek in kisses.
“Hi baby.”
“Hey.”
Jeongguk realizes the creative couple's costume after putting two together. Hector, a butterfly, and Namjoon, a butterfly catcher.
It’s original, and strangely enough, very them .
Namjoon still holds onto Hector when he lifts his eyes to greet Ryu, Jori and Jeongguk.
“Hey! Sick costume Ryu! And wow, ten points for creativity, Jori and—Jeongguk, what, um, what are you dressed up as?” Namjoon is genuinely confused, Jeongguk sees it when he keeps staring at his outfit.
“I’m a fuckboy.”
Namjoon’s eyebrow raises. “A fu—okay.”
Jeongguk smiles proudly. “Yeah, super easy costume. All you need is a snapback and clothing that’s easy to take off.”
Namjoon stands there with nothing to say, Hector diverting his attention elsewhere while Jeongguk finds himself chugging half of his homemade drink.
Jori is hanging back as well, earning a few glances from by-passers because of his costume.
Some guess it, and others stand with a confused expression.
While Jori is explaining a funny encounter he experienced earlier this week, someone steps inside the kitchen, drunk as fuck by the signs of his not so subtle wobbling, and flushed pink cheeks.
“Yo, what is that?”
He points at Jori’s t-shirt, the one he spent a whole afternoon painting and later drying it on their balcony. Jori follows the finger, looking down at his t-shirt and responds calmly.
“Ace of hearts.”
“Um, okay but like, what ar—are you supposed to be?” He hiccups, almost too drunk to stand, and Jeongguk keeps himself on a look-out if he does end up losing composure.
“My sexuality,” Jori responds with a nonchalant tone and Jeongguk chokes on his spit.
“I–”
“Duh, I mean, ace of hearts, asexual. It’s pretty easy if you ask me.” Jori shrugs, and the drunk guy retreats, looking flustered, leaving them alone in the kitchen.
“You’re so crazy, I love you.”
Jori smiles. “Do you wanna go get some air? Feels really stuffy here.”
“Sure, yeah.”
They walk out of the kitchen, pass by the living room that’s filled with dancing bodies, some holding onto an alcoholic beverage, and others swinging with both arms to the pop songs everyone knows.
There’s lots of lights, Jeongguk having to squint his eyes when he follows Jori.
They walk out to the broad balcony filled with another chunk of students, Jeongguk not really paying attention to where he’s going. He pays the price for that, because just then he feels his shoulder knocking into a body.
“Hey! Dude watch where you’re g—Jeon? What the fuck are you wearing?” The tone is bothered, cold as well, something Jeongguk is used to when it’s coming from Taehyung.
“What.”
“You—Why are you wearing a snapback? What the fuck—”
“Oh! My costume? Yeah, I’m dressed as a fuckboy.” Jeongguk smiles widely, fake too, and Taehyung’s nostrils flare as he bites his tongue when he realizes.
“Fuck you.”
Jeongguk leans closer, making sure no one hears what he whispers alongside Taehyung’s earlobe. “Yeah, you wish.”
Taehyung swallows harshly, deciding against saying more, and then Jeongguk takes the time to study his outfit.
“Interesting costume.”
“Yeah, cause I’m not a boring, lazy person like you. I actually have creativity.” Taehyung spits back and Jeongguk laughs, the sound rumbling from the bottom of his stomach.
“Oh you’re definitely not boring but wow, really…” Jeongguk's eyes trail down, watching the suit Taehyung is wearing, decorated in clocks and adorned glasses on his face.
“I’m a horologist, you copycat dick.”
“Original! Good luck getting your dick wet with so many clocks on you.” Jeongguk points at one of them, hanging on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Yeah, well, don’t be surprised when I prove you wrong.”
“Whatever, I don’t care.” Jeongguk leaves Taehyung at that, joining Jori who’s chatting with Seokjin and Yoongi.
“Jeonggukie! Hey, you,” Seokjin greets, Yoongi patting his shoulder.
“Hey.”
“So, what, um, okay. This is definitely an interesting costume, give me a second.” Seokjin places a hand under his chin, staring down at Jeongguk whose eyes are settled on Seokjin and Yoongi’s ‘costume’.
“Oh! Wait, I have it. You’re dressed as Jake from Subway Surfers but done super poorly.”
Jori laughs at that, Yoongi joining when he catches on the horror that paints Jeongguk’s expression over Seokjin’s answer.
“What? Was it something I said?”
“You—Hyung, I’m dressed as a fuckboy. The loose clothing, the snapback…”
“So… Taehyung? What kind of fucking roleplay is th—”
“Anyways, what about you two? Can we even call that a costume?” Jeongguk points out when he spots the fishermen attire, one Yoongi and Seokjin use every time they go out to the so-called activity.
“Yah! What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jori clears his throat. “Well, you can’t really dress up as something you already are…That’s not a costume, that's just…clothing.”
“Ah.” Seokjin says nothing else, Yoongi shaking his head with teeth sinking into his bottom lip, probably to refrain from grinning when Seokjin seems nothing but appalled at the revelation.
Then, Jimin and Hoseok join in, grabbing onto each other and Jeongguk almost loses composure because of how much he’s laughing.
The pair have decided to dress up as literal tits in a bra.
Ridiculous, but creative.
They carry something under the white t-shirt, big enough to form the round shape, paired up with a tank top that manages to create the strap of the bra.
“I still cannot believe you guys spent months trying to figure out what to wear for Halloween only to end up dressed as a pair of tits,” Yoongi says, taking another sip when Jimin shakes his head.
“Yeah, well at least we’re dressed in costumes. ”
“Oh, fuck you Park.”
Taehyung soon joins in, Hector and Namjoon following close behind, giggling over something.
“Oh come on, give it a break, it’s Halloween! You have an excuse to dress up as something you like without it being weird.” Jimin explains and Jeongguk feels eyes on him, knows exactly whose, but keeps himself intact.
“Interesting.” The tone from Taehyung is cocky, flirtatious as well, one Jeongguk cannot believe he’s gotten used to.
To contain himself, Jeongguk softly bites the inner side of his cheek, smiling as Hoseok begins to dance, the round shape bouncing around. Jimin sings the lyrics to the pop song annoyingly loud, and Jeongguk decides to go back inside, his drink empty.
The kitchen is empty when he walks in, more destroyed than when he last stood here pouring his infamous drink that’ll leave a comfortable buzz for the rest of the night, and bring avoidance to the worst hangover the day afterwards.
As he pours a shamelessly large amount of liquid into the cup, Jeongguk doesn’t notice the presence of someone behind him, someone he knows very fucking well.
It isn’t until he’s turning around to fetch the mixer that he sees Taehyung’s wide grin.
Stupid fucking grin.
“What,” Jeongguk deadpans, continues to move around the kitchen, not stopping to give Taehyung the full attention that he’s clearly lurking for.
“Oh come on, that’s not how you talk to someone you like , is it now, Jeon?”
Jeongguk barks a laugh. “You’re funny. Really, genuinely funny. Do that again, only this time, try and actually tell a joke and not some made up nonsense to feed your godforsaken ego and—”
Taehyung steps closer, raising an eyebrow when Jeongguk's words dissolve on his tongue at the sudden proximity.
“And? No, no, keep going, please. I love when you’re so honest with me.” Taehyung tilts his head when Jeongguk's nostrils flare, rolling his eyes as he takes a step back only to knock directly onto the counter, bottles clanging behind him.
“I’ve always been honest with you. Seriously just—”
“You have, yes. But I don’t know if it took finally fucking you for me to find it hot, or if I was just blind the whole time.”
“I fucking hate you.”
“Mhm. I know. Ditto, Jeon.” Taehyung takes the risk, stepping so close their hips brush and breaths mingle.
“You annoy the fuck out of me, with your stupid fucking grin, and your cocky attitude. And let’s not forget the obvious fuckboy charm that will not. Ever. Work. On. Me.” Jeongguk jabs his finger into Taehyung’s chest with each word, ignoring the urge to wrap his fingers around the tie and pull.
“Ever,” Taehyung responds a bit breathless, pupils blown out by lust, and Jeongguk's flare in anger.
“Ever.”
“Uh huh.” Taehyung’s not even staring into Jeongguk's eyes, he’s studying his face and form, probably reminding himself he’s seen everything underneath his clothes, and put his mouth to good use on Jeongguk's skin.
“And you hate me too.”
“When haven’t I?”
Taehyung’s eyes skim back up in a more fixated gaze.
“Can’t stand how you run your mouth constantly, how stuck up you are and the constant ass licking. Good job by the way, Jeon! You’ve managed to do it for the upcoming season too. I knew you had it in you, you perfectionist asshole.” His breath is hot against Jeongguk's parted lips, who lost his words the moment Taehyung decided to bring to the table the ongoing list of reasons why he hates Jeongguk.
It aggravates the burning anger Jeongguk inhales the more they stand in the kitchen.
“There wouldn’t be any ass licking to begin with if you weren’t too busy slacking off! Seriously, do you even fucking care? Or is fucking all that’s important to you? No sorry, let me rephrase that, is fucking all you’re able to do? Hm?” Jeongguk's tone is more harsh, spitting words he’d buried deep within him to be the bigger person.
Jeongguk has decided that he’s done being the bigger person.
Taehyung keeps his mouth shut, biting his tongue, and with one last look into Jeongguk's own wide eyes, he leaves him stranded in the kitchen.
It’s unexpected.
Usually by now, Taehyung would throw more insults Jeongguk's way. Ones that would end up with both of them storming out, but this? This is different and Jeongguk doesn’t like it one bit.
Instead of watching Taehyung completely vanish from his sight, he follows him out because hell, he’s not fucking done.
Somehow it leads them in the bathroom, Taehyung failing at locking the door but Jeongguk has had it, closing it behind him before speaking again now that he has Taehyung’s full attention.
“What? So now you’re just going to be quiet? Seriously, Kim?”
Taehyung stays silent, the mere action ticking an angry time bomb inside of Jeongguk.
“Okay, so we’re playing the silent game? Okay, fine. I’m not going to be quiet like some coward. You—You fucking aggravate me!” Jeongguk is unaware of how much he steps inside the room.
Taehyung is still not moving an inch, crossing his arms instead and tilting his head, almost as if he’s subtly asking for Jeongguk to continue.
There’s so much anger that Jeongguk breathes it, feels it prickle onto his skin, stinging because anger never brings anything good, only pulsing veins and throbbing headaches.
But now, now Taehyung is standing there, waiting for it, and Jeongguk allows everything to spill endlessly.
“You aggravate me because you don’t give a shit! How can you not give a shit when your team is all you have?! Having a threesome before practice and meeting late?! When will you take this shit seriously? Because here’s the truth, Kim. If you don’t, then I won’t stop being the annoying ass licker, ‘cause listen, if I don’t, our team fails . You don’t care, but I do! I do, because I—” Jeongguk feels the lump forming in his throat, halting in his words.
He pants desperately and Taehyung remains silent.
And then, he chuckles . Just one simple sound as his lips curve sideways.
“You think this is funny?! This isn’t fucking funny, Kim.”
Silence.
“Stop.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow.
“Stop—Jus—Stop staring!” Jeongguk feels a sudden pool of arousal when he realizes that Taehyung manages to keep his eyes locked onto him, as if it’s all he wants to see.
It shouldn’t affect him, but fuck, it does.
Taehyung doesn’t listen, keeps staring, magnifying the arousal that suddenly sweeps through Jeongguk, his focus abruptly unable to work.
“God—I fucking hate you. You make so angry with your—your laziness and—and—constant yapping about who got at it with you, and now you say nothing .” Jeongguk spits the last word harshly, still heated over how silence is hitting a spot within him that escalates the accumulating anger he never knew he was capable of having.
It seems to bring out a look in Taehyung, one Jeongguk has seen before whenever their mouths got the worst of them during the cabin trip.
He’s no longer staring at Jeongguk to aggravate him, he’s staring because he knows it’s working.
Jeongguk swallows the rising lump in his throat, his face growing hot, but despite it, he doesn’t allow himself to look away.
“You’re so—You’re so annoying and you know it.”
Taehyung finally opens his mouth. “Yeah, I’m so annoying.”
Something stirs violently inside of Jeongguk.
It’s lust, it’s Taehyung, it’s him wearing that ridiculous suit and—
Jeongguk doesn’t think further when he grabs onto his tie, pulling their heads so close, every part of them brushes for an instant.
“You are.”
“I am.” Taehyung’s eyes rake all over Jeongguk's face and further down.
He’s not even hiding how he’s checking him out, an action that’s hard to miss. And if it weren’t for the arousal Jeongguk suddenly feels creeping up on him, he wouldn’t be affected by it.
“Y—You are,” Jeongguk stutters out when Taehyung looks at him again, his pupils wide and blown out.
The grip in the tie tightens, but Jeongguk doesn’t pull.
Taehyung’s eyes stay locked on Jeongguk's lips, shining with spit from the constant shouting.
Taehyung licks his own, breathes the words hot against Jeongguk's mouth.
“When are you going to shut your pretty mouth and let me fuck you?”
Jeongguk pulls on the tie hard enough for Taehyung to be dragged down with the action, falling to his knees on the tiled bathroom floor.
His eyes never leave Jeongguk's own, even in the sudden compromising position.
“How about you put your mouth to good use instead of being so quiet?”
“Take your pants off.” Taehyung loosens his tie while Jeongguk's scrambles to remove them, still angry and fucking horny .
As his boxers join his pants by his ankles, Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to move closer, hands on his thighs, touching and sinking his fingernails into the skin.
Jeongguk tilts his head back, gasping when he feels the hot breath grazing his tip.
“Did you lock the door?”
“Mhm.”
“Good.”
And then Taehyung goes quiet, licking from the base to the tip before spitting on his palm and stroking Jeongguk's cock as his lips pucker around the wet tip.
Jeongguk tries to look down, wants to see the sight of Taehyung with his cock in his mouth, but it feels too good to make him concentrate on it, head out of his own control tilting backwards whenever he feels the pleasant warmth.
“Ah—fuck, Kim—” Jeongguk tries to muffle the noises rumbling in his throat, scared someone will walk past the bathroom only to hear the obvious sounds of what’s happening behind the closed door.
Even worse if someone finds out it’s Jeongguk and Taehyung together .
One thing Jeongguk never expected when he allowed his urge to take over him was the sight of Taehyung enjoying every minute of it.
He’s moaning against his cock, licking and sucking like it’s the last time he’ll be able to do so and Jeongguk's mind short circuits fingers instinctually reaching for his black strands, tugging them lightly. Taehyung seems to enjoy it, placing his own hand on top of Jeongguk's to signal for him to keep it there, so he does, and whenever the tip hits the back of his throat, the grip tightens.
It feels good, it does.
Jeongguk is drowning in pleasure, so lost he’s unaware of how long they’ve been inside the locked bathroom, how the others are probably wondering where they’ve been.
All Jeongguk sees, breathes, and feels is Taehyung working his mouth on him.
Taehyung keeps stroking him even after removing his mouth, and stares up at Jeongguk whose bottom lip is tucked beneath his teeth.
“Gonna let me fuck you now?”
“Uh huh.”
Taehyung gets back up, moving them towards the sink where he cages Jeongguk in, removing his tie completely and Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to remove the belt in a hurry, the clanging ringing loudly in the bathroom.
“Shit. Do you have lube on you? Condoms?” Jeongguk realizes when he manages to grip onto the waistband of Taehyung’s boxers, the bulge prominent between his legs.
“Who do you take me for?” Taehyung giggles when Jeongguk rolls his eyes and digs into the blazer, a secret pocket hiding exactly what Jeongguk's asked for.
Condoms and—
“Ew, not strawberry lube.” Jeongguk dramatically gags. “You disgust me.”
“You weren’t complaining that much last time we used it.”
“That’s because I was lazy. That shit is not going near my ass again.”
Taehyung drops his mouth slightly. “You’re serious.”
“I am.”
“Stay here and don’t move.” Taehyung brings his pants back up, adjusting the tie and soon he’s stepping out of the bathroom, leaving Jeongguk with his cock hard and exposed by the bathroom sink.
If someone were to walk in, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
Luckily enough, no one does, the dance floor being energetic, wild, and thankfully distracting with the constant bangers coming one after the other.
Not long after, Taehyung steps back inside the bathroom, locking the door again and has a natural lube bottle in his hands.
Jeongguk sighs in contentment.
“Thank God.”
“I’m not leaving this party without having you.” Taehyung doesn’t wait for Jeongguk to reply, already unbuttoning his pants and letting them drop to his ankles, boxers following suit.
Jeongguk licks his lips at the sight of Taehyung half naked, the black glasses still adorning his face making him look like nothing but what he really is .
“Well you better hurry up. It’s not gonna be long before someone knocks and I’d rather save myself from that.” Jeongguk spins around, arching his back so Taehyung can have better access as he opens the cap and pours a decent amount on two fingers.
“Don’t worry, I really only need seven minutes to make you come.”
Then it goes quiet between them, Jeongguk focusing solemnly on the pad of Taehyung’s fingers and how they glide carefully before pushing in, a stretch Jeongguk has missed being able to feel.
The arousal that pools in the pit of his stomach makes everything easier, the relaxation in his body visible when Taehyung manages to finger him open without much restriction.
“I still—find you fucking insu—ah fuck, insufferable,” Jeongguk slurs his words, eyes closed to feel everything more intensely.
“And you still find a way to run your mouth.” Taehyung twists his fingers, the glide landing perfectly by the hardened prostate that drives Jeongguk crazy. He tries to stay quiet, but it’s hard when Taehyung keeps touching him everywhere he wants him to without even having to ask for it.
It’s annoying, really.
But good.
Really, really good.
“Just—stop talking and fuck me.”
Taehyung swipes his tongue across the exposed skin with Jeongguk's t-shirt hanging low across his collarbones.
“Mhm.”
“Kim,” Jeongguk warns and he feels the vibrations from Taehyung’s throat as he laughs lightly.
“So demanding.” He trails off hot against his ear, Jeongguk turning his head to meet him eye to eye again.
“Wouldn’t be if you weren’t so—Ah!” Jeongguk then feels it, the fingers replaced by Taehyung’s cock, slowly pushing inside of him.
“You were saying?”
“I—“ Jeongguk's throat catches when Taehyung bottoms out, filling him to the brim so that the words Jeongguk had on the tip of his tongue vanish just as fast.
“I—Fuck. You’re—“ Jeongguk pushes back against Taehyung’s cock, urging him to move, but Taehyung keeps still, hands grasping onto his hips and fingers digging so harshly they will likely leave marks.
“Yeah? I’m what? Hm? Enlighten me, Jeon.” Taehyung snaps his hips forward, Jeongguk unable to keep a moan from slipping past his lips.
“Y—You’re annoying .” Jeongguk repeats, not able to come up with something new, and it seems to amuse Taehyung because then his mouth moves delicately by his ear, biting his earlobe.
“Yeah, I’m annoying, so—shi—annoying.” Taehyung’s breath hitches when Jeongguk starts fucking himself on his cock, longing for more.
“Uh huh.” Jeongguk continues, the grip tightening around his hips in warning and when he stops, Taehyung takes over, hands sliding down to squeeze Jeongguk's ass rather than hips as he thrusts at a hard, efficient pace.
The grip on the counter tightens the more Taehyung fucks Jeongguk against it, sweat gleaming on their foreheads and mouths constricted by their own teeth digging harshly into their lips.
Jeongguk doesn’t dare look up to see Taehyung through the mirror, and knows he won’t last long if he does. He can already picture how Taehyung looks, fucked out, neck sweaty and tilted, a concentrated frown behind his glasses as he stares down onto the sight of his cock disappearing inside of Jeongguk with a shirt half open and a tie hanging loosely.
“Sh—Shit you’re so tight.”
Jeongguk clenches around Taehyung’s cock before it pushes inside of him deeper, so deep Jeongguk tilts his head to the side, feeling the labored breaths from Taehyung.
“Jeon—“ Taehyung moves closer, the fabric of his tie brushing against his lower back and Jeongguk hums a noise in approval, keeping himself still.
“You should see yourself.”
Jeongguk makes the mistake of obliging him, his eyes trailing up to the mirror, not even to look at himself but Taehyung .
The moment he does, Taehyung smiles widely, winking as his hand trails further down towards his untouched cock.
The noise of a hitched breath is hard to miss, a low hum traveling to the brim of Jeongguk's throat as Taehyung wraps his hand nicely around him.
“Wanna see you come,” Taehyung demands, moving closer so his chest glues itself to his broad back, the frame of his glasses digging into Jeongguk's shoulder.
His hand continues to stroke him, cock nestled against his prostate but Taehyung doesn't resume thrusting just yet.
“Make me come, Kim. Fuck—“ Jeongguk looks back, Taehyung’s bottom lip tugged free, and for a second, Jeongguk debates biting it, imagining how it’d feel.
Probably soft, and wet.
But then Taehyung starts moving again and Jeongguk's head falls forward.
The feeling intensifies, the familiar knot Jeongguk feels growing stronger with time. His legs are twitching, arms almost losing composure when Taehyung’s cock almost slips out of him only to be filling him back up fully.
“God—fuck—“
“Am I good Jeon? Hm? Tell me.”
Jeongguk pants out. “S’so good.”
“Yeah—that’s it—“ Taehyung’s hand strokes harder, wet noises erupting along with the slicked lube. It’s messy, hard and fast but Jeongguk loves every minute of it.
It’s a moment where he doesn’t think about anything , almost like an escape.
“M’close—Keep going,” Jeongguk urges, arching his back for the glide to be smoother, Taehyung moving a hand to hold onto his nape for a more controlled pace.
Then nothing falls between them, only pleasure coursing through their veins as they chase their highs. Jeongguk wraps a hand over Taehyung’s, guiding him to touch him faster.
The time ticks above both of them if they want to avoid suspicion. Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind, and continues to tighten his hold as his hips knock against Jeongguk's.
Eyebrows scrunched and knuckles white, Jeongguk comes undone with a hiss, spilling over his own hand and Taehyung’s.
Taehyung follows suit, hips stilling as his cock buries deep inside of Jeongguk before twitching as he groans against Jeongguk's shoulder, teeth sinking into the skin lightly.
“Shit.”
“We have to go or we—gonna get caught.” Jeongguk is out of breath, Taehyung as well but that doesn’t stop them from hurrying themselves to dress back up and to look like anything but two people who just fucked.
“You go out first,” Taehyung says and Jeongguk obliges, fixes the snapback above his head and steps out, thankfully finding the hallway empty.
The kitchen is packed when Jeongguk returns, students from the piping hot dance floor taking a break and drinking what’s available. Jeongguk decides to make a new drink, having completely forgotten where his old one was left.
When his drink has been made, he walks out back on the balcony needing some air and everyone is still there, only this time Jimin is playing with Ryu’s expensive lightsaber and Jori showcases his godlike skills in terms of hand standing.
Everyone cheers and Jeongguk joins them, sips lightly on his drink, and Hector seems to be the only one noticing his absence.
“Hey, you okay? You were gone for like twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, no I’m fine. There was just someone who needed some help with a drink and then we just fell into a conversation,” Jeongguk explains and Hector nods, pulling him closer so his warmth radiates the left side of his arm.
“Wanna go dance?”
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
Jeongguk never says no to a dance.
The dance floor is just as alive as when Jeongguk had last seen it, many students hopping alongside each other, swinging heads and arms that follow the pop song rhythm.
Jeongguk and Hector join in on the fun, shouting out the lyrics while pointing dramatically to each other.
He dances till the point his head feels lighter, the drink soon gone with how fast Jeongguk drinks it. The soles of his feet feel sore but he could care less. He jumps as he places both hands onto the snapback, afraid it’ll fall off and when the pop song slowly vanishes into a new one, Jeongguk takes a second to breathe and make himself aware of the people around him.
He’s not surprised when he catches onto a girl slinging both her arms around Taehyung’s neck as they both giggle, lips itching to get closer.
Jeongguk doesn’t pay more attention, another hit playing loud on the speakers as the crowd cheers, beginning to scream.
The air is stuffy on the dance floor, Jeongguk pulling the fabric of his white t-shirt to avoid the constant clinging onto his damp skin. Hector seems to be doing fine, bringing Jeongguk and him closer to another group of people who are drunk and out of it, but dancing nonetheless.
Somehow, Jeongguk catches sight of Taehyung again , only this time his mouth is busy, hands too with the way they grab the girl’s ass shamelessly. His tongue dives into her mouth when Jeongguk looks away.
Hector is in the middle of swinging his hips jokingly, flapping his arms attached to his decorative wings and just as the music boils up to an upbeat tempo, Jeongguk suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder and when he turns, he sees—
“Mina! Hey!” He shouts through the music as she smiles, lips coated in blood. Jeongguk travels his eyes down, catches the white shirt covered by a pretty, black long coat.
“Vampire.”
“You’re good, Jeongguk. And you’re…” She trails off, her eyes studying the outfit, an eyebrow rising up and then she leans forward, lips barely touching the tip of Jeongguk's earlobe when she whispers in his ear.
“Either you’re dressed as nothing or you’re mocking every cliché fuckboy out there.”
Jeongguk can’t contain his excitement when she’s the first to nail his costume, one he used less than a minute on, but whatever, a costume is a costume.
“Yes! Yeah! A fuckboy! Thank you, Mina. I swear no one could guess it.” He cheers, unnoticed to the close proximity.
“It’s an honor, good job with it by the way,” she says loudly enough for it to cut through the music and Jeongguk just nods and smiles at the compliment.
And then, they dance.
It’s a mistake, Jeongguk tells himself when he naturally looks behind him.
He shouldn’t have.
Taehyung’s eyes are on him, seem to always have been while the nameless girl has been sucking on his neck. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, gives Taehyung the finger before returning to Mina and Hector, attention fully diverted.
Notes:
a lot happened, ha ha HA. BUT HEY!! for more teasers and funny related ktg content, hop on my twt/x ⭐️
see you next saturday for chapter fiiiive and thank u for reading!!
Chapter 5
Notes:
*me writing this chapter*: oh they're gonna haaaaate meeeeee
also #bringbackdryhumping !!!!!!!!!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It's a quiet Saturday morning.
Jeongguk is the first to wake up with a dry throat standing in the way when he moves slowly around, arms stretching above his head, and a t-shirt rising up to expose his toned stomach.
He groans lightly, placing an arm in front of his eyes that have yet to adjust to the morning light.
It seems to be a good day in terms of weather, the sun peeking through the blinds cascading a comforting hue of color onto Jeongguk's floor and his leg half dangling over the bed.
With careful movements, Jeongguk manages to move upwards, bed hair following suit with droopy eyes.
Trailing softly towards the kitchen in nothing but his t-shirt and boxers, Jeongguk yawns when he opens his door, scratching his belly as he walks over to the counter and pours water into the kettle.
The peaceful start of his morning cuts short when he catches Hector walking out slowly of his room.
“Hey, mornin’” Jeongguk whispers when Hector walks over to him, a hard to miss smile painting his face.
Jeongguk doesn’t have to ask to know.
“Hey.”
“Hector, you can just say it.” Jeongguk places the kettle down and Hector looks away, hiding a blush creeping on the tip of his ears.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“So, you’re telling me, Kim Namjoon is not in your bed right now?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow as he leans his body against the counter, the water beginning to boil, a loud hum circulating in the open kitchen.
“Um—I—Fine. Fine, you got me.”
“So, how was your night?” Jeongguk asks in a teasing tone and Hector hides his face with the sleeve of his shirt.
“We—we had…” Hector trails off and Jeongguk feels the fatigue wash off completely.
“Oh. My. God.” Jeongguk's mouth drops, Hector whining into the fabric of his shirt.
“Was that…Was that the first time?”
“Yeah…” Hector removes the sleeve from his face, eyes crinkling instead. Jeongguk shakes his head, and turns around to pour the boiling water in a mug.
“I’m happy for you. He’s good to you, and I mean that.” The aroma of coffee seeps through, burning Jeongguk's nostrils as Hector moves, wrapping his arm around Jeongguk's waist.
“Thank you.” The words are muffled against Jeongguk's t-shirt. He slightly tilts his neck, smiling down at Hector whose arm squeezes for a moment, a sign of adoration.
The morning is slow, but Jeongguk likes it.
“Fuck my head is seriously gonna fall off,” Ryu groans against his hands that are glued to his face as he sits down in the kitchen while Jeongguk sips lightly on his coffee, Hector having returned to Namjoon.
“You should stay away from shots, Ryu. We’ve been over this.” Jeongguk takes another sip, joining Ryu by the counter as he sits down onto the stool.
“But they’re so fun, and I can’t say no to Jiminie. It was his idea to begin with.” Ryu whines. “I should’ve known, fuck. I think I’ll either have to force you to make me Haejang-guk or lie down on the couch and suffer all day.” He sneaks a glance at Jeongguk when his face drops by the implication.
“You little shit.”
“Please, Jeongguk? No one makes it like you. Please? Please ?” He drags out the word, grabbing Jeongguk's forearm and doing a classic kicked puppy expression that sadly always works.
“You owe me for this.”
“Aye aye, get on with it. Love you, thank you Jeongguk.” Ryu smiles so bright and big that for a second Jeongguk doesn’t believe he’s hungover, yet then again he’s had the joy of being a witness to the shot game from yesterday. Ryu struggled to get the last three down while Jimin was already standing ready to open another bottle of liquor.
“Mhm.” Jeongguk fakes an angry expression, Ryu catching on and mocking him back.
As he digs through the fridge, Jori walks out, his costume still on with a pair of boxers.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Jeongguk calls excitedly, Jori immediately wincing and groaning as he joins Ryu to sit next to him.
“Oh god, what are you so loud for? Fuck.” Jori brings a firm hand onto his forehead, closing his eyes and Ryu consoles him with a gentle pat on his back.
“There, there friend. I’m with you on this one.”
“Should I make some Haejang-guk for you as well, Jori?”
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“You’re welcome.” Jeongguk goes back to fishing out the cabbage and vegetables as the water begins to boil inside a pot by the stove.
“I’m never drinking again. This might be the worst hangover to date.”
“It’s funny seeing you two struggle, I feel fine.” Jeongguk shrugs, resuming his other tasks.
“Yeah cause you were too busy dancing and being gone for most of the night.” Ryu reminds him.
He’s not wrong, although he doesn’t know why he was gone. That stays between Kim Taehyung and him.
“I don’t need to drink to have fun. Also, with the upcoming off season it’s not a good idea.”
“Right, of course, that makes sense.”
“Just, be careful, Jeongguk?” Jori looks at Jeongguk with a worried gaze, one Jeongguk wishes he wasn’t too familiar with.
“Yeah, I promise.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“All right, Red Devils! Field training is done for today!” Coach Lee shouts throughout the field, snapping Jeongguk's attention as he collects himself, adjusting the hairband in his hair that manages to keep it locked in place.
Everyone skips gently to Coach Lee and Jihoon.
Hoseok throws an arm around Jeongguk when he reaches him, complimenting him on his aim earlier when he had gotten a clear shot through the net.
“Okay, good job today, I’m glad to see the energy is high up for The Red Devils. Let’s not let that go, okay? I know our first match against Ilsan is first in Spring, but it’s important with consistency and Jihoon will make sure to check up on you guys throughout the upcoming off season. I have a few comments on today’s training, starting with our goalkeeper, Namjoon-ah.”
Namjoon stands forward, soccer ball still in his arms and gloves on.
“Excellent shot-stopping today, especially when it came to Taehyung’s few shots. You’ve hit a better sense and I have a lot of faith in you that it’ll grow better. Keep it up.” He praises Namjoon who’s smiling widely at the compliment and bowing respectfully.
“Thank you, Coach.”
“Now, center-backs.” Coach Lee flips through the clipboard page, smiling when he makes eye contact with Kwan first.
“Kwan, excellent passing to Yoongi when Taehyung and Jeongguk moved forward. Not to mention your sense and quick ability to read the game and where the ball will land. Keep it up.”
“Thank you, Coach.” Kwan bows, Yoongi being next.
He’s in the middle of pulling the hair tie from his long strands of hair when Coach Lee calls him next.
“Yoongi, you have always had such great leadership and if it hadn’t been for that, the center back on this team wouldn’t be this strong. Keep going.”
Yoongi smiles widely, gums showcasing when he bows to thank Coach Lee, Seokjin placing an arm around his teammate for moral support and to internally cheer him on.
The sight causes everyone around them to swoon.
Jeongguk has a lot of respect for Coach Lee and Jihoon, not only because they’re incredibly smart in terms of tactics and how soccer plays out, but they have such empathy with the team that it strikes a certain atmosphere during practice.
Everyone has each other’s backs, and yes that counts for Taehyung too, but only on the field.
It’s the singular area where Jeongguk will allow the heated hatred he has for Taehyung to evaporate into thin air.
Although he’ll inhale it strongly the moment he’s stepped out for the day.
“Now to our two full-backs. Seokjin and Hoseok, you two have managed to bring out a lot of strength in terms of defense, the rival team will have to go through a lot to get through you two. I admire your positional awareness.”
Jeongguk taps onto Hoseok excitedly, his smile beaming brightly and Jeongguk catches Yoongi leaning a shoulder onto Seokjin with a small shove.
They both thank Coach Lee and then he continues.
“And now our center midfielders. Jimin and Mingyu, you both have excellent focus when it comes to diverting between defense and attack play. If you keep it up, I see great potential in a high win for this team.”
Both Jimin and Mingyu bow respectfully, thanking with all gratefulness to be admired by Coach Lee and for him to see it.
“We cannot forget our two wide midfielders. Minho and Soohyun, you have both improved immensely in terms of dribbling and speed, I am not surprised because I always knew you both had it in you. Good job. Also, we couldn’t ask for a better team captain, Soohyun. You’ve always had excellent control and a clear overview.”
“Thank you, Coach Lee. It’s really an honor to be team captain for this incredible team!”
There’s a few whistles being thrown left and right, Minho and Soohyun sharing a solid high five in the air.
Jeongguk's heart feels warm.
“And to our two strikers, Taehyung and Jeongguk. Your teamwork on the field has always been exceeded with precision and I couldn’t ask for better strikers. Jeongguk, your aim has always been incredible, I’m glad that hasn’t changed after Fall break.”
Coach Lee’s eyes divert towards Taehyung.
“Taehyung-ah, you have a great sense, always managing to bring the ball to Jeongguk whenever the slot is open, and for that the goals wouldn’t be possible without you.” Coach Lee praises, words piercing right through Jeongguk's heart for a second, only for it to be exchanged quickly with other thoughts.
Neither are gentle, more rough and disappointing but Jeongguk doesn’t have time to digest it before he’s bowing respectfully to Coach Lee and thanking him for his kind words of encouragement.
“And of course, we cannot forget our seven subordinates who are always ready to get a kick on the field. You’ve been training a lot during practice and it’s playing off really well, thank you!” Coach Lee begins to clap, everyone joining in as the subordinates bow and thank everyone for the high praise and applause.
“Listen, you’re all a part of this team and what makes our team great. I’m very proud to be your coach. Jihoon has a few words in terms of improvement, and he’ll run it down separately after you shower. Now off you go, have a good day!”
The road to the lockers is light, but somehow Jeongguk's feet feel heavy.
He tries to ignore it by laughing at one of Seokjin’s jokes about one of his teachers, even more by reciprocating Hoseok’s touch when his arm is back around over his shoulders.
“Yah, Jeonggukie, I’m hosting this fun little get-together at my place this Saturday. You should invite Jori and Ryu if they’re available! It'll just be us, just like we were back at the cabin, and Seokjin is bringing Twister as a game and I think Yoongi is bringing Jenga? I don’t know, something about him being the best at it, you know how Yoongi-hyung is. Anyways, you down?”
Frankly, Jeongguk’s mind had been half clouded when Hoseok had spoken to him all excitedly about this weekend that he only caught half of it.
To ensure it doesn’t land down on Hoseok that something is wrong, he presses his hold around him and draws a fake smile, one he hopes he takes for a real one and says, “I’d love to.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“And this is why moral decoupling is a reason behind the terror that was happening in the Abu Ghraib prison back in 2003. Now, next time, we’re going to watch a documentary on those events and I’ll ask you to divide into groups where each of you will explain the area you’ll be chosen to present. You’re free to choose your own partners for this project. See you on Thursday!” Mr. Kim says as he closes down his laptop and brings the pile of papers back inside his brown leather bag, class turning chaotic and frantic with all the noise around.
Jeongguk is focused on grabbing his things as quickly as possible, trying to squeeze some time in for a small session on the field.
After today’s meeting and the conversation with Jihoon, Jeongguk doesn’t want to waste any more time.
He feels as if there isn’t any to begin with.
Time is stressful, time is the enemy.
“Hey, Jeongguk?”
Swiftly, he turns his head and spots Mina hugging her books to her chest, backpack secured onto her shoulders.
“Hey.”
“I just wanted to ask if you wanted to be partners for the project? The one we’ll be working on from Thursday?”
As Jeongguk busies his hands with clearing out everything in front of him, he answers shortly with a head hung low. “Uh huh, sure, yeah.”
“Okay well—”
“Sorry, I gotta go. I have stuff to do. See you!” Jeongguk rushes out of class, afternoon sun hitting his face directly as he steps outside of the building, aiming to get back on the field.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
As the sun cascades onto Jeongguk's face, a hue of golden colors brighten his golden skin as he finally makes it to the field.
His left shoulder feels heavy with his gym bag slung over it, on top of that his backpack with his computer and books from his classes.
Jeongguk tries to ignore the harsh pain he feels, stepping through the gate, walking further inside only to realize he’s not alone.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath when he watches Taehyung dribble a ball on the field, unaware of his presence.
When Jeongguk drops his bag onto the grass, Taehyung’s eyes move upwards, attention completely caught.
“Jeon.”
“Kim.”
Taehyung keeps quiet after that, continuing to focus on the soccer ball laying in between his legs. Jeongguk rolls his eyes at the sight, sitting down onto the grass to change into his shoes.
As Taehyung skips away and focuses on the amount of times he can have the ball roll smoothly in between his feet, Jeongguk watches him the whole time.
Even when he ties his shoelace harshly, the bare sight of Taehyung always brings out a deep, ugly anger and hatred inside of Jeongguk.
As he gets up, he brushes down his thighs and ass coated in grass and dirt. Taehyung is already near the net, placing the soccer ball down to train his penalty shots.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk fishes after his own soccer ball, hidden inside his gym bag along with his water bottle.
They don’t talk, each focusing on their own training but as Jeongguk progresses and begins a classic warm up with dribbling the ball in front of him, Taehyung decides to speak up again.
“Why are you here?” Taehyung asks in a genuine tone that stirs Jeongguk the wrong way.
“Do I need a reason to be here? On an open field? Mind your business, Kim. Go back to doing whatever you’re doing. Leave me alone.” Jeongguk picks the soccer ball with the front of his foot again, bringing it back in the air and instead of Taehyung leaving like he usually would, he’s standing still with crossed arms.
“What do you want? Seriously stop.”
“I was here first, Jeon. You’re distracting me. Besides, you’re a perfectionist, you don’t need to improve. Go home, the field is mine tonight.” Taehyung reasons and out of anger, Jeongguk pauses the dribbling, fixating a harsh glance at Taehyung.
“I’m what? Distracting? A perfectionist ? Are you hearing yourself right now? What is this fifth grade? You don’t own shit, leave me to do mine and I’ll leave you to yours.” Jeongguk spits back harshly, his tongue stinging after spitting the word perfectionist , something about that word leaves a certain taste that Jeongguk doesn’t like.
“Seriously, Jeon. You already know how to do penalty shots, your aim is perfect, your dribbling skills give me a headache because they’re perfect. So please, spare me with this and just go home. I’m the one who needs to improve, remember? I’m nothing but a lazy fuckboy. So, kindly, fuck off,” Taehyung says, stepping closer to Jeongguk so he can read his expression better.
He seems tired, angry and mostly irritated and if Jeongguk hadn’t been consumed by so many thoughts since morning training, he would’ve let this go, but he can’t.
He won’t stop until those thoughts are out.
“No.” Jeongguk answers easily, dribbling again, unfazed by the groan that slips from Taehyung.
“I’m asking for one thing and you can’t be nice for one fucking second. Seriously, what’s your problem?! Like I get it, you fucking hate me but this, this is beyond, Jeon. What? Do I need to go down on my knees and beg for you to leave?! Tell me.” Taehyung plants both hands on his hips, chest rising by the harsh tone he had split open onto the field.
“Why are you making it such a big deal? It’s a field, an open space, Kim. Even some Genie wouldn’t be able to grant you this wish, so seriously just drop it. Stop whining like a baby and le—”
Taehyung pushes Jeongguk harshly, fuming from the inside. “Fuck. Off.”
Jeongguk scoffs in offense, chest a bit sore from the solid push, and instead of walking out of the field, he pushes back, even harsher that Taehyung almost falls backwards.
It continues back and forth, pushing each other and screaming profanities.
The afternoon is long gone, lights on the field more sharp and clear now that the sky was turning a darker shade of blue.
“You—Fuck you!” Jeongguk pushes hard enough for both of them to fall down onto the grass.
Taehyung groans when his back meets the flat surface.
Jeongguk isn’t done, far from it. He grips the strings from Taehyung’s hoodie harshly, yanking him forward so their noses barely touch.
“Why do you always have to be such a fucking—”
“What? Asshole, fuckboy, dick? What? Call me something original for once. And get off me.” Taehyung grabs Jeongguk firmly by the waist, pushing him away from his lap where Jeongguk had recently been situated.
As Jeongguk lands flatly onto the grass, his nostrils flare uncontrollably. Breaths shorten.
Jeongguk forces himself up again, tackling Taehyung when he dusts over the grass on his shorts. They land back down, violence beaming between them but not daring to actually punch and mark each other.
Taehyung seems to accept defeat by bringing his arms down onto the grass and above his head with Jeongguk placed between his legs, palms onto his chest as he slightly heaves.
“Fine, Golden Boy. I get it.” Taehyung rolls the nickname smoothly in his mouth, sending a certain rush through Jeongguk by the name calling.
He’s never been called that, at least not from him.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if he hates it because it’s an accurate description of what he’s trying to achieve or if it’s because Taehyung is the one to call him that.
“What did you just call me?” Jeongguk tightens his hands around the fabric of Taehyung’s hoodie, his eyes darting towards the harsh grip and then a tug to his lips slips easily.
Jeongguk feels the air in his lungs become tighter the more Taehyung’s gaze diverts everywhere.
”Golden.” Taehyung’s upper body rises beneath Jeongguk, itching closer, eyes never leaving his and then his nose bumps against Jeongguk's own when he finishes his sentence. “Boy.”
Jeongguk acts on reflex, pushing Taehyung against the grass again, pinning him down with both hands onto his wrists, jaw clenched as his breath stutters by realizing how close they are. Taehyung seems to catch on as well, a flicker of nervousness passing by his expression that Jeongguk almost misses it.
Almost.
“Jeon,” Taehyung breathes out. It sounds like he’s calling him to make sure he’s here, panting in his face.
Jeongguk doesn’t move, doesn’t speak.
The silence wraps around them, tightens Jeongguk's throat when he opens his mouth to say something, anything, yet it’s empty, but then, he feels it. Taehyung’s mouth drops slightly, eyebrows curving downwards and then he lets out a long sigh. Jeongguk still watches, the other boy pinned helplessly beneath him and then Taehyung licks his lips.
Jeongguk's heartbeat picks up when he studies the simple action.
“Take me. Fuck—Jeon, take all of me,” Taehyung says breathlessly, the words sounding as if they’ve been stuck in his throat and he’s just finally being allowed to say them. Jeongguk inhales it quickly, body reacting on its own and then he finds himself pushing down against the growing hard on Taehyung has been sporting. Jeongguk feels it right below his ass, hardening the more he moves slowly back and forth. It’s odd. Jeongguk knows what’s happening, feels it yet it’s hard to absorb it all at once.
One moment they were tackling and pushing each other, screaming words that’ll only leave them more angry, feeding the hatred that never seems to go away, and now, they’re back in this world, one where the hatred doesn’t reach them, only lust. Jeongguk never thinks when he’s near Taehyung, all his earlier thoughts are drowned out. It scares him, but it somehow also keeps him pulled by Taehyung, to allow himself to give in to this unnerving tension and lust that Jeongguk has never felt so strongly.
Taehyung seems to be just as into it and lost as Jeongguk. He can tell with the way Taehyung looks down, concentrated yet panting heavily when Jeongguk's rolls smoothly on top of him, showcasing what it would be like if he were to ride him. The strong grip around Taehyung’s wrists tighten when Jeongguk feels himself grow hard, blood rushing south and his mind completely blank.
The awareness of where exactly they are flies above them.
As Jeongguk rolls his hips faster, breaths grow heavier, slips of careless moans echo on the field and Taehyung grows more desperate. Jeongguk's grip isn’t tight enough, Taehyung’s arms pushing forward, yearning to touch Jeongguk.
Even though his mind is filled with nothing, Jeongguk catches onto the act, grinning when he notices how hard Taehyung is trying to reach out to him, to have his hands holding onto places he hasn’t touched since the Halloween party.
“Jeon—”
“Hm?” Jeongguk tries his best to keep the grin hidden but fails when Taehyung downright frowns, hands mere centimeters away from Jeongguk's waist.
“Wanna touch you.” Taehyung’s tone is deeper than usual. Jeongguk tries not to get affected, hides it by clearing his throat, mouth feeling a bit dry by being agape for too long.
“Yeah?”
“Uh huh. Let me touch you.” Taehyung’s tone moves to a bit higher pitch, teeth tugging his bottom lip to suppress a moan because Jeongguk keeps moving.
With a firm grip around his wrists, Jeongguk pulls himself more up, situated perfectly against Taehyung’s hardened cock in his shorts. Jeongguk controls Taehyung’s hands, bringing them near his chest yet still not close enough for even the pad of his fingers to touch the fabric. Taehyung doesn’t speak, only raises an eyebrow in question and Jeongguk smiles naturally.
“Is this where you want to touch me? Hm?”
Taehyung nods quickly. “Anywhere, just, wanna touch you.”
“Anywhere…” Jeongguk grinds down again, head tilting back by the pleasure. Taehyung’s eyes never leave him. He doesn’t tell him to say it, he waits, wants Taehyung to break. And it doesn’t take long, one more motion and Taehyung breathes out the magic word, repeats it.
“Please—fuck, please let me touch you.”
Jeongguk looks back down. “You know,” he moves closer, “you’re less insufferable like this. Dare I say, I kinda like it?”
Taehyung chuckles. “Of course you do.” Then Jeongguk feels it, Taehyung’s cock sliding beneath him, his hips rutting into him. “But just—please ?”
Jeongguk allows it, the grip finally loosening around Taehyung’s wrist. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to let his palm roam freely on Jeongguk's chest and further down to his abdomen. His fingers feel cold when they touch his skin for the first time, sliding by the waistband and Jeongguk has lost it.
“Thank you,” Taehyung says strongly when his hand dips further beneath the t-shirt, feeling the ridges of Jeongguk's abs and his firm pecs. Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to bring the pad of his finger to press down onto the barbell, catching Jeongguk's mouth dropping wider down at the feeling. Jeongguk concentrates on moving again, Taehyung’s hands liberated and touching everywhere they can reach.
“What—ah!” Jeongguk licks his lips, eyes falling shut when Taehyung joins him in moving at a more fitting pace. “What—what was that?” Jeongguk tries to keep the tone on a teasing level, Taehyung quickly catching on.
His hands land towards Jeongguk's lower back, firmly pressing it down so Jeongguk's arch happens naturally and then Taehyung brings himself close enough to put his mouth on Jeongguk's neck. “I said, thank you.” Taehyung thrusts upwards again, Jeongguk moaning at the feeling.
“Oh fuc—” Jeongguk moves both hands to Taehyung’s hair, pulling his dark locks while they continue to move against each other in another tempo. The tighter Jeongguk pulls, the more Taehyung groans against his neck, biting into it softly when the tip of Taehyung’s cock aims perfectly against Jeongguk's rim.
“Wish I could—” Taehyung’s tone turns desperate, latching itself to Jeongguk's skin.
“Hm?” Jeongguk doesn’t look at him, has his eyes shut and neck slightly tilted to give better access.
Taehyung’s mouth kisses Jeongguk's neck, slowly and with tongue, the warm and wet sensation hard to miss. “Wish I could fuck you on this field—”
Jeongguk slightly chuckles, pulling Taehyung’s hair enough for his head to tilt back and meet his eyes. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah—ah.” Taehyung moans when Jeongguk dips his head, tongue latching onto his earlobe and biting it down gently.
“You’re so desperate, Kim. What’s gotten into you, hm?”
Taehyung’s breath hitches. “You—You fucking happened.”
The response was everything Jeongguk hadn’t expected. His hips stutter the minute it slips from Taehyung. He doesn’t say anything, finds it best not to answer and instead allows Taehyung to take over, his hands moving to hold around his waist, keeping him positioned for him to rut against him.
Jeongguk wraps himself around Taehyung, head tilted forward against his shoulder, heat coiling in the pit of his stomach whenever his own cock brushes against Taehyung’s. He thinks of all the times he’s seen it, touched it, tasted it, felt it and—
“M’not gonna last long,” Taehyung mutters, frown etched onto his face, hips moving uncontrollably fast against Jeongguk who maintains still.
“Me neither.” Jeongguk doesn’t know what gets over him when he tilts his head backwards, locking eyes with Taehyung and drawing his face so close their lips almost touch. It feels more intimate this way, Jeongguk able to hear every detail of the change in Taehyung’s breath with each movement, how some cause his lip to naturally be tugged by his front teeth.
Jeongguk tightens his arms around Taehyung’s neck, one hand still grasping the dark locks. The constant rubbing is pushing him closer to the edge, along with Taehyung’s moans that he’s almost able to swallow if he just pressed his mouth down, but he contains himself.
“Shit—” Taehyung almost stutters, eyes moving down to Jeongguk's spit coated lips, keeping them locked as he continues to thrust upwards, hardened cock against Jeongguk's own. There are no words exchanged, just the tiniest thread of space between them, filled with profanities slipping past their mouths. Their bodies are almost sore, sweat trickling and accumulating beneath their clothing, and then it snaps. Jeongguk feels like he almost passes out with how intense his orgasm is, mouth agape, high pitched noise leaving his lips the moment his hips are still above Taehyung who’s still moving, chasing his own high.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if it’s the post orgasm or if it's the way Taehyung’s lips are so pink and flushed from all the biting when he mindlessly leans over, mouth hovered against them, zero thoughts circulating in his mind. And as he watches Taehyung come undone, cock twitching underneath him, Jeongguk draws further in, pulls Taehyung’s bottom lip with his teeth, grazing the soft wet feeling until he lets go, catching Taehyung’s eyes widening.
“Fuck.”
Jeongguk realizes what he’s done, scrambling to get up while Taehyung doesn’t move, still sitting flat on the grass, hands supporting his arms.
“The field is yours, Kim.”
He doesn’t wait for an answer, instead ignores the wetness in his black shorts when he picks up his bag and leaves the field, and Kim Taehyung.
If it weren’t for Jeongguk's hoodie being a size XL, he would have a hard time covering the front patch of his shorts when he steps inside the foyer, taking off his shoes as Ryu greets him loudly from the kitchen.
Jeongguk hasn’t been able to stop touching his lips after leaving the field. It certainly doesn’t help to touch them and immediately remember how soft and wet Taehyung’s bottom lip felt grazed by his teeth.
A part of Jeongguk is embarrassed that he got ahead of himself and did such an action, yet another part of himself wants to forget it and bury himself alive, but neither are a possibility.
For now, he’ll ignore it.
“Hey! You’re back early. I thought you were gonna train at the field?” Ryu asks when Jeongguk steps inside the living room, hoodie hanging a bit lower than usual to cover the stained patch.
“Oh, uhm, yeah I was just—stomach started hurting, I don’t know, I think I need a nap so I’ll just—” Jeongguk plays it off, restricting himself from looking at Ryu to keep him from realizing it’s a shitty excuse and far from the truth. Jeongguk has got to stop lying.
“What happened?”
“What do you mean?”
Ryu crosses his arms, the pot behind him continuing to simmer. “Be honest, you can’t fool me.”
“Kim was already there so I just left. No point in staying there.”
“Hm. Okay.” Ryu squints his eyes but doesn’t pry anymore and Jeongguk takes it as a cue to leave, walking straight to his room and locking his door before he finally strips himself down, the discomfort of the wet patch becoming unbearable for Jeongguk. The cum has managed to dry out, Jeongguk wincing in disgust as he wraps his bottom half with a towel and throws his hoodie and long sleeve shirt off all in one.
He needs a shower, and a cleanse to his fucking thoughts. Hopefully it’ll manage to drown them out.
When he walks out, Jori is sitting on the couch, computer on his lap and Ryu is slurping on the ramen he cooked when Jeongguk had come home. Hector is nowhere to be seen, probably at Namjoon’s place.
“Hey, does anyone have to pee? Cause I’m gonna take a shower,” Jeongguk explains when he closes the door behind him.
“You’re good. I’m stupid busy with this assignment I need to submit in an hour. I have to write about art in the 60’s and honestly? I’d rather find a shovel and—”
“Hey! You’re already six hundred words in, you’re gonna be fine. I’ll help you, and so will Jeongguk when he’s done with his shower. Don’t stress. It won’t get you anywhere.” Ryu rubs his hand over Jori’s tensed shoulder, glancing at Jeongguk which only sends an indirect message that Jeongguk catches easily.
“Yeah, I’ll help you. Don’t worry. I’ll just—” Jeongguk points towards the bathroom door, disappears when both of his roommates redirect their attention onto the screen.
The moment he closes the door behind him, Jeongguk leans his head against the cold wood, releasing a breath he had held for much longer than he had known.
It’s Taehyung’s doing.
And his, well, he is somewhat involved with him but then again, that’s the wrong use of words. Jeongguk doesn’t even know what to call it anymore. It used to be a cabin sexcapade, but now it’s not. Not since Halloween when they broke the spell, or well, Jeongguk did. There are no words to describe how they even got here. First it was of lust, yet now it’s…
Maybe it’s to unleash all the tension, the anger… But then again not, because those things are still very visible afterwards. Jeongguk tries not to think about today's earlier events. About how much he liked the way Taehyung was just now, rutting against him desperately, how he had begged to touch him, thanking him when he permitted. Frankly, sex has never been like that ever for Jeongguk.
The first time Jeongguk had sex it was right before the first semester, in some house, sober as fuck with a girl snatching him from the dance floor and leading him away.
It was good, great even but Jeongguk barely remembers any of it. It’s not the kind of sex that gets you stuck on it, or haunts your brain with constant flashbacks.
Yet, Taehyung...Kim fucking Taehyung, the insufferable, annoying, fuckboy has managed.
Because now Jeongguk is stripping himself bare, stepping into the shower and drowning out all noises with water yet his brain can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Whenever Jeongguk closes his eyes he sees Taehyung’s shocked expression when Jeongguk had bitten his bottom lip, unable to help himself. He distracts himself by grabbing his shampoo bottle, squeezing out enough for it to spill on his palm and puts it directly onto his hair, massaging his scalp as he allows himself to feel the comfort of the hot water cascading down his body.
Jeongguk looks down when he’s finished washing out the shampoo in his hair, the wet strands feeling softer suddenly.
When the bubbles sweep away under the drain, Jeongguk grabs the body wash, tons of it landing on his purple loofah.
The more he actively does something, the less he thinks about that.
It does the trick when Jeongguk washes his legs, moving upwards but then the loofah brushes against his pierced nipple, reminding him of how Taehyung’s finger had toyed with it when his hands ran eagerly under his t-shirt to touch him anywhere he could. And now he’s thinking about it, again , great.
When Jeongguk steps outside of his shower, he dries his hair, biceps flexing by the action and back muscles moving as Jeongguk catches sight of it when he stares quickly in the mirror. He steps out of the bathroom, hair still a bit damp and the first thing he notices is Jori hanging his feet and his head hung downwards, computer on Ryu’s lap instead as they talk, or well mostly it’s Jori complaining about the subject and Ryu using Wikipedia as a source.
“Um—”
“Oh! Jeongguk, thank God you’re done. Okay, you’re taking over, I’m grabbing Jori’s favorite snacks from the convenience store because studying while grumpy and hungry is not a good mix.” Ryu rushes to push the computer onto the couch, releasing himself from Jori’s glare and out of the door in milliseconds while Jeongguk still stands in front of the bathroom door, towel around the waist.
“So, 60’s art?”
“Yeah, big ass.”
“All right, big boy, scoot over. Let me take a look.” Jeongguk stares at the last visited page, not bothering to put on clothes. Jori moves around, head hanging off on Jeongguk's shoulder, lips pulled into a pout.
“It’s useless, I’ll fail this class and the semester barely started.”
Jeongguk looks behind him. “No, no, don’t say that. We’re going to figure this out. Okay so…” Jeongguk mumbles what he reads, eyes scanned onto what Jori has so far on his Word document while his roommate tries not to show how visibly stressed he is, a mission he’s failing terribly at.
“Okay, how about you describe why the 60’s affected art with the rise of Pop art and go from there? I’m sure that’ll fill out a good five hundred words more.” Jeongguk suggests and Jori nods, grabbing the computer.
“Thanks.”
“I’m gonna go change, be right back.” Jeongguk stands up from the couch, humming an annoying song that has been stuck in his head until he reaches his bedroom and searches for clean underwear and a t-shirt to sleep in.
When he’s managed to get it over his head, he walks out and then the front door opens, Ryu scrambling quickly inside, and with the expression resting on his face, Jeongguk has a bad feeling.
“What?”
“I just met Jimin and Taehyung by the convenience store and guess what?”
Jori looks behind him, resting an arm over the couch as he asks, “What?”
“Remember that apartment two floors down that’s been on the market for ages? Well…”
No. No this can’t be—
“Jimin and Taehyung literally, not even five minutes ago, got the confirmation email that the place was theirs! We’re going to be neighbors!”
Fuck.
Notes:
from a scale from 1-10, how much of a tease am i :D (and annoying too lmfao)
thanks for reading lovelies, as always, for more ktg content and silly stuff, follow me on twt/x
Chapter 6
Summary:
*sigh* half of this is improv from ktg!th and ktg!jk, you have been warned.
Notes:
THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT BABIES HERE IS THE CHAPTER ENJOYYYY ♡
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I’m free every Sunday and Monday if you have some time to do this project,” Mina proposes, elbows on the table.
Jeongguk nods. “I have training Monday morning, but we can meet after, I don’t have class until late afternoon.”
“Sure! Yeah, let's do that.”
“Great.”
The class resumes as Mr. Kim proceeds to make a run down on the projector of what he expects for each project. Jeongguk taps his fingers delicately onto the paper in front of him, listening carefully to each thing, but a part of him is restless.
There’s a pen in front of him, laid upon scrambled drawings on his notebook, and he snatches it up, absentmindedly clicking it repeatedly. Only, when he notices a cold glare from a student a few feet away from him he stops, pressing it down onto his mouth instead.
The pen accidentally knocks against his teeth. The same teeth that tugged Kim Taehyung’s bottom li—
Bells ring loudly, everyone scrambles in synchronization to pack their things, Mr. Kim still speaking throughout the loud chaos and Jeongguk falters completely in his seat.
He has fucking lost it.
And it didn’t take getting his hands on Taehyung, all it took was to get his mouth near his.
“Also, where do you wanna study? The library is probably filled at this time around. But I don’t mind it, really it’s—”
“We can do it at my place. I have three roommates, but they won’t mind,” Jeongguk responds easily to Mina who’s standing up, a packed bag around her shoulder.
“Ah great! I’ll see you on Monday.” She waves slightly and then she walks out of the classroom, Jeongguk still not having moved an inch because of his earlier shock.
It’s the middle of the day and he’s thinking about Kim Taehyung’s lips, he’s gone mad. There’s no way around it.
“Jeongguk-ssi? Is there a reason you haven’t left my class yet?”
Yes but it’s stupid.
“No—no, no. I’m sorry. It’s been a long day,” he excuses, getting up as Mr. Kim glances suspiciously his way as he proceeds to tuck his computer into his briefcase.
To make his day more tolerable, Jeongguk blames the thoughts on a lack of touch. After all, the last time he properly kissed someone was in high school. Maybe that’s all it is.
He’ll be just fine.
He's not fine.
It’s been five hours since class ended. Jeongguk is laying down in his bed, the apartment quiet even though they’re all likely still up, and all he’s been doing the past hour is stare at the ceiling as his brain repeats the same memory again, and again, and again…
Jeongguk pulls his hair, groaning in frustration. Shutting his eyes, Jeongguk turns around in his bed, enough to lay comfortably to finally rest. Half of his leg is high up, brushing against his rib, and as Jeongguk closes his eyes, he drifts off easily, no longer any images of Taehyung and that fucking bottom lip haunting his brain.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Come on Jeongguk! We’ve already been late once. We can’t be again.” Ryu calls out when Jeongguk debates on what to wear on the top of his head. For the past five minutes he’s been switching between a beanie and a baseball cap. Both are fitting and nice, and therefore it’s easy for Jeongguk to become indecisive.
“Five minutes!” He calls back, sighing in frustration when he removes the baseball cap for the third time. He decides against himself, grabbing the black beanie and rushing outside to catch his three roommates waiting impatiently and fully dressed.
“Looks good, all right, let’s go.” Ryu snaps his fingers, opening the door as Jeongguk quickly puts on his black boots.
“Yeah yeah, wait up! Oh my God, why are you all stressing?!” Jeongguk whines, his foot finally sliding into his boot and as he looks up, Ryu has his arms crossed and a cold glare facing Jeongguk directly.
“We wouldn’t be stressed if you just hurried your ass up! We don’t have time for this. Come on.” The door pushes open, Jeongguk pouting a bit as his second foot meets the bottom of the black boot.
“All right, all right. Hyung won’t kill us if we’re late.”
“Yeah, maybe not you, with your cute little Bambi eyes,” Ryu muses, pinching Jeongguk's cheek cutely, Jeongguk trying to twist out of the grip.
“Stop—”
“Ah! There you were. Come in, come in.” Hoseok opens the door more widely, leaning furthest away to allow Jori, Hector and Ryu in, Jeongguk walking in last but not before Hoseok ruffles his hair excitedly, asking him if he’s eaten enough lately and how training is going.
Hoseok isn’t unaware of how much time Jeongguk spends on exceeding his best and testing his limits. After all, Jeongguk is one of the best players on the team, confirmed by Coach Lee and Jihoon.
Sometimes it’s still hard to believe, other times he feels that glow around him when the words sweep by in his head, echoing for just a second.
The living room is full of laughter when Jeongguk steps inside with Hoseok trailing close behind. Jori and Ryu have already found a seat next to each other on the large couch, Jori talking with Seokjin and Yoongi, and Ryu giggling over something Jimin said. Taehyung is sitting on his phone, doom scrolling probably, and Hector and Namjoon are… busy.
“All right, now that the rest of the group is here, Jiminie and Taehyung-ah, now is the time to share your news.”
Jimin takes the lead as Taehyung places down his phone in his lap, eyes directly meeting Jeongguk who's sitting in front of the couch with Hoseok, who now has an arm around him.
“Well, Taehyungie and I visited that apartment complex not far from campus last month and fell in love with it, and two days ago we finally got the confirmation email that the place is ours!”
The room cheers loudly, claps roaring excitedly as Hoseok shakes Jimin wildly before embracing him into a warm hug. Taehyung smiles when Namjoon circles an arm around him, Hector just as happy. The ambiance is exploding in joy, and then there’s Jeongguk, trying to contain a scoff and the annoyance he feels in the pit of his stomach. It’s one thing to fuck Taehyung a few times, but neighbors?!
“Hyung! Get the wine, we’re celebrating tonight.”
Seokjin rises quickly from his seat, squealing excitedly as he searches for the wine in an upper cabinet. Hoseok cradles Jimin’s face, spilling all kinds of encouraging and sweet words. Jeongguk gets up himself to help Seokjin with carrying the glasses, Taehyung’s gaze burning onto his back.
“Oh! Thank you, Jeonggukie.”
“Yeah, no problem hyung.” Jeongguk smiles politely as he holds onto six glasses, stepping carefully back to the living room and placing them down onto the wooden coffee table. He makes the mistake of looking up and catching Taehyung licking his lips and raising an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk sends back a frown, ignoring how Taehyung’s lips are more visible now that they’re wet.
“So, when are you moving in?” Ryu asks, snapping Taehyung out of his trance.
“Um, we’re counting on next week. We were told the quicker, the better,” Taehyung explains, staring directly at Ryu who nods slowly.
“Okay, if you need an extra hand we wouldn’t mind helping, after all we are becoming a form of neighbors!” Ryu says in full excitement.
Taehyung rubs down the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly as his eyes move towards Jeongguk once again. “Yeah.”
“Also the area is great, we know some good spots if you and Jimin feel like going out to eat, as well as take out places,” Jori adds.
“Oh really? Hell yeah, I’d love that.” Taehyung’s smile spreads wide, and it tugs at Jeongguk's chest in a way that makes him annoyed.
“Okay, are we down for a game of Twister? Because it may not look like it was heavy to carry, but my arm is seriously hurting. Like, I didn’t bring this game for it not to be played.” Seokjin says with zero regret, Hoseok rolling his eyes while grabbing the wooden box and unwrapping it gently.
“All right, let’s divide into teams of four. Hyung, are you playing or is your arm still hurting?”
“I’ll be the judge, I’m an excellent one, I might as well be Coach Lee.” Seokjin jokes, and the whole room cracks up.
“Yeah yeah, okay Coach Kim.” Hoseok snipes back.
“Who wants to join Ryu and I’s team?” Hector asks.
Without thinking too much, Jeongguk says, “I’m down.”
Jori follows suit, clapping Jeongguk's shoulder. “Me too.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow, quick to notice. “Interesting. Make sure you don’t snap each other’s necks while playing.” He points between Taehyung and Jeongguk.
Taehyung shakes his head. “That won’t be a problem, did you forget Jeonggukie is a sore loser?” The tone Taehyung uses when he throws the nickname ticks the same anger boiling bomb that’s settled deep inside Jeongguk.
“It’s Jeon to you, Kim.”
“Yeah yeah.” He brushes him off.
“All right well, I’m gonna be judge number two, cause that makes the teams even,” Yoongi explains, shifting to sit next to Seokjin who’s holding onto the plate with the spinning wheel.
“Oh, come on, Yoongi, we all know it’s because you’re not flexible enough.”
“There’s no way I’m breaking a fucking bone while playing Twister. Could you imagine? Showing up at the hospital and having to explain that?! I’d rather not.” He scoffs, crossing his arms and Seokjin leaves the conversation at that.
“All right, well Hector and Namjoon, you guys can go ahead and start.”
They step up to the large plastic mat that showcases the different colored circles. Seokjin spins and guides them both to have their feet onto different colors. Namjoon has more distance, struggling a bit while Hector stands normally, luck on his side. Then Yoongi spins for their hands, laughing out loud when Hector moves and accidentally knocks his ass against Namjoon’s face.
“All right, Namjoon, left hand on yellow and right on red,” Yoongi declares and Namjoon groans out loud when he realizes he’ll probably fall if he were to move.
“Oh, I’m sensing a very clear win,” Hector beams and Namjoon shuts his mouth in annoyance.
Regardless, Namjoon tries, applying his left hand onto the yellow but failing miserably by trying to aim for red, falling flat down.
“And Hector wins!”
“Yeah, with his ass on my face!” Namjoon complains and Hector giggles as he pulls his boyfriend up, kissing him sweetly on the cheek.
“It’s just a game.”
“All right, Jeonggukie and Taehyung-ah! You’re up next!”
Fuck .
Jeongguk stretches his neck before getting up, removing the beanie from his head while Taehyung pulls his hoodie over his head, t-shirt riding up as well and half of his toned stomach is revealed. Jeongguk tries not to look but fails miserably.
Taehyung’s dark locks fall forward when the hoodie is off, Jeongguk glancing elsewhere as he steps closer, plastic creaking under his feet.
“Okay, Jeonggukie, right foot on blue, and left on red,” Seokjin instructs, Jeongguk staring down and stepping onto the carpet.
The distance between his feet is normal. Seokjin spins a second time for Taehyung, his feet on yellow and green. Then it becomes a bit more crucial when Yoongi spins it, instructing their hands. Jeongguk must crawl towards Taehyung’s stance, left hand on yellow and right on green. His body is almost the downward dog position in yoga. It’s a moment like this where Jeongguk is extremely grateful that his mother got him into yoga during high school.
“Taehyung, left hand on yellow, and right hand on blue.”
It causes Taehyung's face to be pressed close to Jeongguk's hips. Jeongguk can feel the hot breath on the sliver of his exposed skin where his shirt had ridden up a bit by the position. Jeongguk closes his eyes, tries to endure it a bit longer, at least until Seokjin spins again and moves him somewhere else.
“Okay, Jeongguk, left foot on blue, and right foot on yellow,” Seokjin calls out, Jeongguk moving easily, his hips no longer in contact with Taehyung’s mouth, his ass now almost grazing the Twister carpet.
“Taehyung, right foot on red, and left foot on green.”
The room erupts in small giggles when Taehyung curses loudly, having to spread his legs the furthest. He manages, surprisingly so, with his flexibility.
“Okay if Taehyung falls right now, he still won cause how did he manage to do that?” Ryu asks in shock.
Taehyung whips his head in their direction. “Did gymnastics back in high school.”
“Ah, that explains it.”
“Okay, Jeongguk, left hand on blue, and right hand on yellow.”
Jeongguk could bring his hands backwards but that’ll give Taehyung the glory of a crotch angle, so without thinking too much about the consequences, Jeongguk brings both hands forward, his face inches away from Taehyung’s.
He closes his eyes, ignoring the rapid pounding in his ears as the memory haunts his mind once again. The memory of Taehyung’s soft, wet lips tugged in between Jeongguk's teeth, pulled down slowly as Taehyung came undone beneath him.
Keeping his eyes shut doesn’t seem to help, so instead, Jeongguk hangs his head low, keeping them locked onto his hands on the colored circles.
It’s not as bad but Jeongguk hears Taehyung’s breath hitch when Yoongi spins the wheel again and makes things a bit more crucial.
“Taehyung, left hand on green and right hand on blue.”
Taehyung moves slightly, not a lot, but enough for their heads to be close to each other. Jeongguk tries not to move too much but he can hear every whispered breath Taehyung takes right in his ear.
“God, you’re breathing loudly in my ear! Please stop!” Jeongguk complains, throwing his face towards Taehyung, noses bumping against each other until Jeongguk pulls away as best as he can without losing balance. Taehyung grins from ear to ear, sliding his tongue across his bottom lip.
The lip Jeongguk touched.
He tugs it between his teeth before finally responding.
“Okay, Jeon.”
Jeongguk tries to withhold it, and feels himself failing the game miserably with how his eyes can’t stop staring at Taehyung’s lips. He seems to be aware, grin dissolving into a small, gaped expression, eyes diverting onto Jeongguk's.
As Seokjin spins for the next round, Jeongguk, purposefully falls onto his ass making Taehyung the winner.
“What the—”
“Good game! Okay!” Jeongguk cheers loudly, ignoring the confused expression on Taehyung’s face.
Jeongguk races out of the living room to go into the bathroom, needing a good minute to calm his heartbeat and thoughts. He’s all over the place, feeling like a scrambled mess and all because of Kim Taehyung. It wasn’t the close vicinity that scared Jeongguk, it was his recently discovered urge to lean in and finally solve the mystery of what Taehyung’s lips taste like.
Splashing cold water onto his face does the trick for a bit. Jeongguk stares into his reflection, droplets trailing down towards his chin before landing flatly onto the sink.
“Okay,” Jeongguk breathes out, drying out his face with a hanging towel and stepping out to the sight of Ryu and Jimin going against each other.
Taehyung never stops looking in Jeongguk's direction, but he ignores it throughout the night.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
With Jeongguk and his roommates, every Sunday usually has a certain activity.
It’s something Ryu brought up, convinced that a Sunday activity would bring them much closer and, for starters, he’s right.
Their usual hangouts during Sundays bring a special type of closeness between the four roommates, one Jeongguk is grateful for.
But for the first time since they started them, he regrets it.
He should’ve known better when Hector had settled onto a movie; some cliché rom-com that only he would like, while Jori would cringe, and Ryu would comment on every small dialogue that sounds unrealistic.
It went fine in the beginning. Jeongguk was sitting down in the middle, a blanket coiled up around him with snacks layered onto his legs that were folded. All was fine until the movie plot took a certain turn: one Jeongguk felt hit way too close to home.
“Seriously, what's up with them?! Who fucks their enemy? Oh my god…It’s so unrealistic. Hector, next time I’m picking the movie.” Ryu throws a complaint, fingers pointing to the screen of the passionate and raw kissing scene that’s displayed.
“What the fuck?! It’s not unrealistic! Some people confuse love for hate, okay? This movie is incredible. Hand over the remote, I’m not hearing you out.” Hector rolls over, causing a loud crunch to erupt under him, the snacks on Jeongguk's lap turning to full mush.
“Yo! Hector, you’re crushing my chips!” Jeongguk complains, Hector apologizing as Ryu hands over the remote, the movie paused the moment the two main characters are getting into it rather… rough.
Jori still hasn’t said a word, enjoying the chaos that always seems to expand between Hector and Ryu whenever they do their Sunday activity.
Jeongguk whines over his crunched chips, the discussion continuing when Hector plays the film, the two characters moving to a bed, indicating that they’re fucking. Jeongguk can’t watch, focuses on eating crumbs directly from the chip bag by tilting his head backwards, wide open mouth as he allows it to spill and fill his mouth.
“Of course. Of course, he’s in love with her, fucking cliché. Seriously, Hector, how do you like this?! It’s so predictable, I’m doing a better job than any fortune teller right now. I bet he won’t tell her he’s in love with her, just keep fucking around with her until she realizes and then blah blah, something happens and then there you have it: your ultra-cliché where they kiss on an open field after confessing their love to each other.” Ryu goes off, Hector having to pause the movie because he’s actually interested in knowing what happens.
“Can you shut up?! We get it, it’s predictable, you don’t have to go around guessing the plot, Ryu.” Hector downright rolls his eyes, Ryu scoffing as he leans against Jori who’s giggling over the stupidity of the situation.
“I’m just saying, we could be watching… I don’t know… Like Ghostface in Scream, but instead we’re watching unrealistic shit.”
“Remind me again why it’s unrealistic?”
Ryu scoots forward, pointing a finger at Jeongguk before continuing. “It’s like if Taehyung and Jeongguk were fucking. See?! Unrealistic.”
Jeongguk tries not to choke on the chip crumbs he’s about to swallow as Ryu loudly says such a vile fucking thing.
Something that’s, well…
True.
“Um—” Jeongguk tries to cut in but Hector beats him to it.
“Oh come on, that’s a stupid example. The last person Jeongguk would fuck is Taehyung. Right?” Hector sends a pointed look and Jeongguk tries to clear his throat, all while attempting to suppress his anxiety that’s spiking through the roof at this current moment.
“Uh—yeah, no yeah that would be…terrible. Just, the worst.”
Ryu leans against Jeongguk. “Yeah, because it’s unrealistic. I mean could you imagine if any of us had to go through that?”
Jeongguk needs to get out of here.
“Ha.” A nervous chuckle accidentally slips from Jeongguk, neither Ryu nor Hector noticing, too busy playing ping pong with their arguments for what is and isn’t actual realism in films.
“But I mean, if you were, Taehyung would definitely fall first.”
Jeongguk can’t seem to move when Hector jokingly pulls a string. “What.”
“Hector, please, that’s like the ultimate cliché in every rom-com out there. It’s the classic ‘fuckboy that goes soft for that one person that talks back to them’. Is it the fact you have a boyfriend now that everything needs to be romantically linked?”
Hector huffs. “Why? Are you jealous?”
“Pff, no. I’m doing just fine by myself and Ghostface.”
Jeongguk takes it for his sign to leave, needing to air out his accumulating thoughts after the comment about Taehyung.
“I—um, I need a new toothbrush, do any of you need anything? I’m heading to the convenience store around the corner.”
“Oh! I’m out of shaving cream, grab me one?” Jori pipes in, Jeongguk sending him a soft smile.
“Yeah, no worries.”
All while Jeongguk puts on a zip up hoodie and a jacket, Ryu and Hector still seem keen on continuing the conversation, escalating it to clichés and Shakespeare—something before he’s out of the door, tension releasing from his body the moment he breathes in the fresh, cold air of November.
The walk is a few minutes, Jeongguk scrolling through his socials while taking the elevator down, not surprised to see the flashing pictures of Taehyung with his tongue down someone’s throat at the Halloween party, on top of that doing body shots on three girls at once.
Jeongguk scoffs at the ridiculousness behind it.
There’s no snow just yet in Seoul, although the biting cold air does make Jeongguk's toes curl uncomfortably in his boots when he walks over to the store. He pulls the hood of his hoodie tight around his face to avoid the chill, and finally reaches his destination, welcoming the sweet warmth in the store as the bell chimes.
The convenience store isn’t the biggest one out there in Seoul, but sufficient with everything Jeongguk needs. As he scans through the chips and other possible snacks aisle, he hears the bell chime again, not looking up until he hears that godforsaken voice.
“Oh, sup’ Jeon.”
Tonguing the inside of his cheek, Jeongguk calculates an answer that explicitly tells Taehyung to fuck off, but the other is a bit faster than him.
“Out of chips at home?”
What. The. Fuck.
With that, Jeongguk looks up, staring at Taehyung who’s wearing a brown snapback with a blue puffy winter jacket, paired with some sweatpants, of course.
“Why do you care?”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “What? I just asked if you were out of chips, it’s not that deep, dude.”
It might not be, but who in their right mind cares about chips? A small thing and—
Hector has gotten to his head.
The words ring loudly again.
Taehyung would definitely fall first.
“Seriously, is something wrong? You’re looking at me like I killed your cat or something—” Taehyung is fast to say, studying the increasing frown and doubt taking over Jeongguk's face so quickly.
“Just—go be a fuckboy and leave me and my chips alone!”
Taehyung scoffs. “Okay, wow, so much for being decent.”
Jeongguk goes back to finding the right pack of chips, moving to the aisle for toiletries, spotting the brand-new toothbrushes sealed tight under a plastic package, and the shaving cream Jori usually uses. Taehyung isn’t anywhere to be seen, leaving Jeongguk to finally breathe properly without being bothered by not only his presence, but the ringing of Hector's words in regards to him.
Jeongguk has fucking lost it.
Stepping up to the cashier, the younger male scans his items and talks in a monotone voice as Jeongguk fiddles through his wallet to pull out the right amount. Just as he’s handed over the money and received his change, Taehyung is back, breathing down his fucking neck.
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to scramble away quickly with the plastic bag in his hand, not turning his head once to watch Taehyung by the cashier.
The fresh, cold air calms him down, Hector’s words floating away with the wind the more he walks.
What could’ve been a peaceful walk back home gets ruined when Jeongguk is interrupted by an annoying voice that tries to catch his attention.
Gritting his teeth, he speed walks, Taehyung sadly catching up with his great stamina.
“Oh come on, now you’re just being fucking ridiculous.” Taehyung pulls him out of his ignorant trance.
“Can’t a guy walk home in peace?”
Taehyung flashes a smile as he dramatically ponders. “Hm, no.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, continues to walk, Taehyung following closely within the space. It’s then he hears a plastic wrapper crinkling, and Jeongguk turns out of curiosity, catching Taehyung opening his mouth wide as he bites down onto a kimbap.
He glances upwards, cheeks bulging, and Jeongguk's breath hitches as he’s thrown back to the Halloween party, the sight of Taehyung so pliant on his knees, mouth stuffed with his co—
“What?” It’s muffled, Taehyung in the middle of chewing as he frowns.
Jeongguk realizes he’s been standing still as he allows his brain to drive itself to that memory of all things.
Clearing his throat, Jeongguk ignores the question, resuming his rapid walking.
“If you wanted a bite you could’ve just asked, no need to gawk.” Taehyung says, making it clear that he is virtually incapable of shutting the fuck up. Jeongguk exhales in annoyance as he tilts his head back, watching the puff of air erupt around him in a fog.
“Since when do you and I talk?” Jeongguk is biting, rude too, and Taehyung is used to it, not batting an eye at the off-putting tone but rather more within the fact that Jeongguk is finally saying something.
“Since now?”
Jeongguk crosses his arms. “Really? Okay, well, let’s go back to not talking. Got it?”
Taehyung frowns. “Does that count for fucking too?”
That causes a sudden halt in Jeongguk's steps. “Don’t. Just—don’t talk about that.”
It’s playful the way Taehyung moves closer. “Why? Does it get you all worked up again?”
Jeongguk snaps. “You seriously can’t go a fucking day without getting your dick wet, and being horny.”
“Couldn’t be more right.” Taehyung winks and Jeongguk bites his tongue, ignoring the spiteful remarks threatening to spill forth. It’s better to leave it at that.
The rest of the walk is silent, until they part ways by the lobby, Jeongguk deciding to take the stairs instead of the elevator with Taehyung.
“You didn’t say no, by the way!”
Jeongguk flicks him off before beginning to walk up the stairs.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Monday practice has Jeongguk drowning in sweat on the field.
It’s the last fifteen minutes, Coach Lee absent and Jihoon taking over, which means they’re allowed to have a little bit of fun, and play a small match at the end of practice.
Namjoon is holding himself ready, gloves on both hands as his knees bend. Jeongguk dribbles the ball, focused solemnly on getting it in the net, and with great success he manages to hit the top corner, Namjoon missing by an inch and groaning as he lands flat down onto the dirty grass.
“Excellent shot, Jeon!” Jihoon shouts from the bench, whistle around his neck, and that’s when Jeongguk notices Mina sitting by the bleachers, backpack resting on her thighs. She seems to have caught onto Jeongguk spotting her because then she’s waving a hand, Jeongguk reciprocating as his brows scrunch.
Why is she here ?!
As Namjoon shoots the soccer ball from the net, Jeongguk is forced to focus on the task at hand. The ball is caught between Jimin and Mingyu, managing to slide it towards Taehyung who hoists an arm in the air, willing himself free despite Hoseok trying to use his defensive tactics.
As Taehyung gains access he secures the ball between his feet, kicking it as he looks up, trying to gain a good aim, but Hoseok is getting too close. Seokjin joins in, which leaves Jeongguk standing perfectly free to get a clear shot.
“Kim!” Jeongguk shouts to gain his attention, because he seems firm on doing it himself even though he’s attacked by both defenders. Jeongguk groans, running closer, yet Taehyung still doesn’t budge, no matter how much Jeongguk tells him to pass the fucking ball.
Taehyung spins himself free, keeps running solo up to the net, yet misses his shot. It infuriates Jeongguk, who’s been standing open this whole time.
“What the fuck was that?! I was standing free.” Jeongguk spits the anger in Taehyung’s face, all while he grabs onto the bottom of his shirt and wipes his jaw clean from sweat.
“Whatever.”
“Kim, seriously, what the fuck?”
Jeongguk is angry.
Usually Taehyung would’ve passed the ball without hesitation because soccer is all about teamwork; something Coach Lee diligently reinforces within the team ever since they started out during the first semester.
“Stop being pissy. It’s not even a real match.”
“It’s still practice.”
Namjoon seems to notice how they’re growing heated, stepping in to put a glove on Jeongguk's chest, pushing him a bit away from Taehyung who hasn’t dared to look him in the eyes since he acted selfishly on the field.
“Whatever, Jeon.” Taehyung steps away, runs across the field again, and Jeongguk figures it was just a one time thing. A challenge Taehyung thought he could take.
They resume the match, Jeongguk catching a glimpse of Jihoon with his clipboard hanging between his fingers as his arms stay crossed. He seems to have noticed the solo play Taehyung ran with. Jeongguk hopes it doesn’t get them into too much trouble.
When the soccer ball is back between them, Taehyung gains it again, this time from Jimin instead of Mingyu without hesitation.
It’s almost an exact replay of what happened earlier: Jeongguk standing free yet again a few meters away, while Taehyung avoids him at all costs, initiating yet another solo play that finally seems to fully catch Jihoon’s attention.
Even though Taehyung manages to get a goal, Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to push him in anger. “What the fuck, Kim?! Why aren’t you passing the ball?”
“It’s not like you need any new training to begin with. Fuck off.” Taehyung pushes back, enough for an intense tackling to begin between them. Namjoon and Jihoon interfere the moment they land down onto the grass, pulling each of their shirts.
“Fuck you! We’re supposed to be working together!”
“Hey! Kim. Jeon. Enough.” Jihoon’s voice is sharp like a knife, cutting through the tension and anger that bubbles between them. Jeongguk loosens his grip, getting back up on his feet while Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek, head flopping onto the grass, frustration visible on his face.
“My office after practice. To the both of you.”
Jeongguk sighs in annoyance. Taehyung still doesn’t look him in the eyes.
“Practice is over, everyone in the showers. See you next week.” Jihoon sounds angry, every player sending a stink eye towards Taehyung and Jeongguk who obviously caused the atmosphere to turn colder than the fucking weather.
Great.
As they walk towards the entrance to the building, Mina catches up with Jeongguk, smiling gently while holding onto her bag, finger fiddling with the bracelet around her wrist.
“Hey, wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Class was canceled so I figured I’d stop by.” She explains, Jeongguk nodding along as the players roll into the building in a huge flock. He notices how Taehyung keeps looking behind him, piercing his gaze directly onto Mina before it switches towards Jeongguk.
What the fuck is his problem ?
“So where should I meet you?”
Jeongguk shakes himself out of his daze, staring back at Mina who’s nibbling her bottom lip, awaiting his answer.
“Um—I’ll meet you by the parking lot. Jihoon asked me to stay quickly after practice, but it won’t take long. Hope that’s okay.”
Mina nods. “Sure, I don’t mind. I’ll see you in a bit, then.”
Jeongguk hums a noise of approval, moving along to the locker rooms, not once looking behind him to see where Mina is headed. He’s too focused on wondering what the fuck is up with Taehyung and his earlier behavior that was extremely out of character.
Silence is heavy in the locker rooms. Jeongguk doesn’t speak to anyone while he washes himself, ignoring the prying eyes as well when he’s in the middle of changing, pulling a hoodie over his damp hair and t-shirt. Taehyung is quicker than him, already in the office when Jeongguk finally steps out with his black duffel bag slung over his upper body.
The room is stuffy, Jihoon clicking his pen as he stares them down for a few seconds before sighing.
“Listen, I don’t need to know what happens outside of practice but when you are on that field, it’s teamwork or nothing. Taehyung, I understand you’re trying to challenge yourself and I’m glad you did, but when your teammate is standing free and you’re being cornered, you need to pass it. I’m not hearing your excuse.” Jihoon’s pen is faced towards Taehyung who’s staring mindlessly, attitude from earlier not vanishing in the slightest, and Jeongguk clenches his jaw in annoyance.
“Jeongguk, there are other ways to handle what happened than causing a fight. I understand your frustration, but pushing and tackling is completely off limits. We’re a team, not enemies. I don’t care what you two are outside of soccer, but when you’re on that field you work together . One more fight and it’s a warning, and benched for the upcoming season. Got it?” He’s staring at them both now and Jeongguk feels his world crumble by hearing the word benched .
“Got it,” Jeongguk responds under his breath while Taehyung bites his tongue and settles on a firm nod.
“Now, make it right and be a team from now on, okay?”
They hum in sync, stepping outside the office, and Taehyung avoids Jeongguk like the plague.
The contrast ticks Jeongguk's brain annoyingly, even more within the fact that Taehyung had clung to him so closely last night by the convenience store.
“So, are you going to tell me why you acted like a bitch out there?”
Taehyung scoffs. “What happened to the no talking rule?”
“Don’t bring that in when this is about our team, I could give less of a fuck about that right now. Just—what was that? Out there? Why didn’t you pass the ball?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer, walks out of the building and while Jeongguk is too busy trying to get an answer out of him, he’s unaware of Mina waving to allow herself to be seen by him.
“Your girlfriend is waiting.”
It’s the last thing Jeongguk hears before Taehyung is out of sight.
“Okay, I think if we mention the experiment by Zimbardo, it’ll add variation to the presentation about authority and how that progressed the matters in the Abu Ghraib Prison.” Mina is talking away as Jeongguk has been staring blankly at his screen for the past five minutes.
Somehow the comment from Taehyung had caused a halt in his system, one that’s hard to get rid of.
Maybe it’s because Jeongguk allowed himself to think that Taehyung was jealous for a split second, or maybe it’s because it irritated him that it had come off this way when Mina was nothing but a classmate, something she herself knows.
“What do you think?”
Jeongguk tilts his head up. “Hm?”
“About Zimbardo, should we bring in the Stanford prison experiment as the main point of our presentation?” Mina repeats earlier words, Jeongguk noticing by how slightly annoyed she sounds by the repetition.
“Yeah, sure, sorry. I’m a bit wrecked after practice.”
“No worries.”
As they type away in silence on both computers, Ryu gets home, singing some old club song loudly unaware that there’s a guest in their living room.
“Yah! Jeongguk—Oh, hi, sorry.” Ryu reddens immediately when he notices Mina sitting on the carpet.
“Hey, sorry, I’m Mina, Jeongguk's project partner in psychology.”
Ryu quirks an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Jeongguk silently begs Ryu to shut his fucking mouth, knowing his roommate can flick off a sudden joke to show off his recklessness.
Somehow, he catches onto the message, greeting Mina like a normal person.
“I’m Ryu, one of Jeongguk's roommates. Nice to meet you.”
That’s all there is to it, thankfully.
“I’m gonna go and help Jimin with finding certain items on IKEA. I think Jori is making dinner tonight, Mina are you staying for dinner?”
“Oh, I—I uhm wish I could, but I have another assignment I need to finish tonight. Maybe some other time?”
Jeongguk doesn’t know why he feels so relieved to hear her answer. It’s not that he doesn’t want her to stay, but because of earlier events revolving around Taehyung and his comment, Jeongguk has had a hard time concentrating, yet alone have Mina stay for longer than needed.
“No worries.” Ryu smiles as he walks into his bedroom, and Jeongguk goes back to writing down important notes for their presentation next week.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jeongguk feels an itch.
It starts Thursday morning, and doesn’t seem to go away for some odd reason. The weirdest part about it is that Jeongguk has never felt an internal itch before. Last time he had caught an aggressive itch on his skin was due to the thousand mosquito bites he had the joy of having when he spent his summer vacation in Busan.
No, this one feels different. It feels like an urge, an itch Jeongguk can’t seem to scratch. Nothing happened to cause it. It was very sudden, Jeongguk waking up Thursday morning walking around with an itch in the pit of his stomach.
It continues during practice, Coach Lee no longer absent and standing by the bleachers with Jihoon who keeps an eye out on the different players.
For a day in November, it’s not as cold, the training creating an inner warmth that allows Jeongguk to wear his long sleeve uniform shirt paired with shorts. The bright number one shines on his back.
Taehyung hasn’t looked at him once since practice started, too busy moping about God knows what.
And truthfully speaking, Jeongguk shouldn’t care about it, but he can’t help but wonder if it’s related to the last time when Taehyung had, on purpose, gone solo in the middle of a practice match.
Although today, Taehyung seems to be fine, passing the ball to Jeongguk when Hoseok runs forward, and landing them a fine score, one Coach Lee makes sure to praise when they run past him.
Namjoon manages to protect the last shot, holding the ball tightly between his gloves as Coach Lee blows his whistle, signaling practice is done for the day.
“Good improvement boys. I have a good feeling for the Spring season,” Coach Lee announces as they all walk back to the locker rooms. Yoongi attacks Jeongguk jokingly in need of a piggyback ride, something about his left leg being way too sore. Jeongguk easily obliges, squatting down enough for Yoongi to crawl over him and hug his neck properly.
“Great shots today. I overheard Jihoon and Coach praising you when I ran past them.” Yoongi notes, Jeongguk beaming a smile naturally by the praise.
“Really? Damn, thanks hyung.”
As Jeongguk is about to step inside along with the others, Coach Lee calls for him and Taehyung in his office.
The chair creaks when Coach Lee sits down, Jeongguk and Taehyung standing on the other side of the desk with a respectful distance.
“Jihoon told me about last week,” he starts off and Jeongguk's gut turns uncomfortably.
“Coach—” Taehyung cuts off with a shaking tone, a clear signal he’s just as afraid as what he’s about to say.
“Kim. I just need to make a few things clear here.” Coach Lee leans forward, elbows resting onto the desk as he looks up silently, trailing his gaze between Taehyung and Jeongguk.
“What happened at practice, that is the first and last time it ever happens again, am I clear?”
“Yes, Coach.” They respond in unison.
“If I see another, I’m benching you both. Look, I don’t want to, but I will not allow that childish play on the field. We are a team. Teamwork makes the dream work. That comes first before anything else. And I suggest you two talk this out. Is that clear?”
They settle on nodding, Coach Lee sighing as he unfolds his arms. “You may leave now. See you on Monday.”
Taehyung steps out first, hands in his wet strands as he walks angrily towards the locker rooms. His back looks tense from behind, posture different from before the office get-together with Coach Lee.
Jeongguk isn’t any better. He’s seeing absolute red, because for one, it’s not even his fault that Taehyung did a solo play twice, and second, Taehyung is the one that decided to be completely immature on the field and fueled his anger instead of dissolving it.
The locker rooms are empty when they both step in, the scent of shampoo and body deodorant intense as it trails up Jeongguk's nostrils. As Taehyung crouches down to grab his towel, Jeongguk takes the chance to follow up on Coach Lee’s advice.
They need to talk.
“Kim.”
He doesn’t turn, hands still trying to reach the bottom of his duffel bag. “What.”
“You heard Coach Lee. We need to talk this out.”
Taehyung scoffs, cranes his neck in Jeongguk's direction, a cold glare meeting him immediately. “Of course you listen to him, fucking ass licker.” He mutters the last part, Jeongguk still catching the harmful words.
“Seriously, grow the fuck up. I know you don’t care a lot about this team, but everyone else does, so at least suck it up.” Jeongguk steps closer, Taehyung dropping the hold around his duffel bag as he stands up.
“I don’t even know what you want me to say.” Taehyung begins, Jeongguk about to cut him off when he continues. “What do you want me to say? That I don’t care? That this team means nothing? Is that it? Is that what you so desperately want to hear from me?! Will it fix everything for you, Golden Boy?”
Jeongguk gulps when the nickname rolls perfectly off of Taehyung’s tongue, a part of him that still remains a mystery for him.
“You know what? Yeah, maybe it will fix it for me, because I’m so fucking done with this, with you and your laziness. And that selfish act of yours on the field last week, and the fact you don’t even wanna talk about this.”
Taehyung chuckles bitterly. “Yeah, I’m such a lazy, immature, and selfish fucking asshole.”
“You are.”
Taehyung bites his bottom lip, Jeongguk losing his train of thought for a moment when it reminds him of when his own had taken a chance at feeling the softness of it.
“And you know what you are, Jeon?” Taehyung takes a step forward, their feet almost touching. “You’re a stickler for perfection. It’s all you do. Nothing else matters to you than fucking perfection all around. Well guess what? There’s no such thing as being per—”
Jeongguk acts on instinct, rage rattling against his chest as he pushes Taehyung with full force, his back hitting the metal lockers that clang loudly.
“You’re a fucking liar.” Jeongguk spits, Taehyung not moving an inch, keeping himself glued against the lockers.
“You may do perfect goals, passes, and dribbles, but that? That doesn’t make you perfect.”
Jeongguk tongues his cheek, swallowing the harsh truth, one he still sees as a blatant lie from Taehyung.
He’s just saying this to rile him up.
“So, yeah, I may be all the things you just mentioned, but at least I can fucking admit it, instead of—”
Jeongguk, controlled by his anger, pushes Taehyung’s chest, stepping so close Taehyung’s breath fans against his parted lips.
“Stop. I know what you’re doing,” Jeongguk breathes out, eyes skimming across Taehyung’s stunned expression. It changes drastically, his parted lips turning into a smile in triumph all while his eyebrows are more relaxed.
“And what is it that I’m doing, Golden Boy?” Taehyung tilts his head, screaming nothing but an undertone of complete provocation.
Jeongguk doesn’t fall into the trap.
“You’re trying to rile me up.”
Taehyung chuckles. “And it seems to be working.” With that he glances down, Jeongguk’s eyes following where it takes them, noticing how close they are, how his breathing has turned into pants—how despite knowing Taehyung’s plans, it worked.
“Fuck you.” He spits the words harshly in between them, clenching his jaw when Taehyung doesn’t say anything. Jeongguk keeps himself still, staring into his teammate whose face can’t be read. It pisses him off. He wishes he could—say something that would stop this whole mess, but Taehyung’s making it quite hard with how his lips continue to be curled into a small smirk paired with an empty gaze.
Well, if Taehyung doesn’t want to talk, Jeongguk is going to have to guess.
“It’s because of Mina, isn’t it?”
There. Jeongguk sees it. For a split second, he sees a crack. Taehyung’s eyes slightly widen by the assumption, yet the rest of his expression remains the same.
Jeongguk decides to push further. “You’re jealous.”
For a second, he thinks he’s got it—he’s got a perfect aim to Taehyung’s ego, but then he sees the smirk widen to the point Taehyung lets go of it and starts laughing.
Jeongguk’s expression falters, feeling incredibly stupid.
What the fuck is happening to him?
“Someone like me doesn’t get jealous.”
Oh.
It’s like the realization showcases on Jeongguk’s face, because then, Taehyung adjusts himself against the lockers, proving that the control still lies heavily with him. And it always will.
“You—” Jeongguk tries to speak, but nothing comes out.
“It’s not even about that, is it Jeon?” Taehyung leans his head back onto the metal, and stares at him intensely. “You want me to be jealous. You want me to care.”
“No—” Jeongguk is quick to deny before hearing further, but Taehyung seems to enjoy this, how much of a mess he can make.
“Why else would you ask that, then?”
Jeongguk scoffs. “Seriously?”
Taehyung grins. “Enlighten me.”
“You called her my girlfriend—you acted weird on the field when she was there for me.”
“So?”
“What? What do you mean ‘so’ ?” Jeongguk blinks in confusion.
“You don’t get it.” Taehyung shakes his head, removing the proximity by crouching back down to find his towel.
“Of course I don’t. Have you met your fucking ego?!” He’s pissed now, this conversation going completely sideways from soccer, which was the main goal here—even a promise to Coach Lee.
“Then don’t fucking assume shit,” Taehyung spits back when he gets up, towel now draped over his shoulder.
“Wow.” Jeongguk chuckles dryly, feeling this so-called talk is coming to a dead end, but then Taehyung surprises him again.
“But I'll tell you the truth right now, Jeon. I’m not jealous, and you want me. You want me to fuck you. You like having sex with me.”
Jeongguk knows if he denies the obvious truth, he’d look incredibly stupid. The situation overall causes him to freeze on the spot. He doesn't know what to say or do—doesn’t know if he should leave or not, but then leaving would solve absolutely nothing and still somehow prove Taehyung right.
Fuck.
“Can’t believe that it isn’t my cock being able to shut you up, but the truth. Wow. Pathetic.” Taehyung laughs, his tone nothing but mocking towards Jeongguk’s actions because yes.
The truth has his feet glued to the ground, and his whole body paralyzed.
But his mouth? His mouth isn’t. Jeongguk’s tongue swirls inside it, heating up the anger that he’s felt the moment they both stepped back inside the locker room after Coach Lee’s warning. His mouth feels hot, and Jeongguk wants to get rid of that.
“If anyone’s pathetic right now, it’s you. You’re a fucking adult and you can’t even have a proper conversation with someone.”
Taehyung squints his eyes in disgust. “With you. I can’t have a proper conversation with you. ”
“Exactly. You’re fucking pathetic, Kim,” Jeongguk says more harshly to make a point. He wants Taehyung to be able to feel that he means every word. “At least I’m trying.”
“Yeah—‘cause of Coach Lee.” Taehyung bites back fast, which only causes more anger to thread through Jeongguk’s veins.
“You’re so fucking—you’re just so—” Jeongguk grits his teeth, his body no longer paralyzed and therefore he uses one of his hands to pull back his hair.
“Mhm.” Taehyung hums, biting his lip as he rests his bicep against the locker, staring at Jeongguk differently.
He’s staring at Jeongguk like he wants to fuck him.
“You’re doing it again.”
“I am.” He admits, not shy at all.
That’s it.
Jeongguk pushes him against the locker, lashing out by screaming incoherent words to Taehyung’s face, all of them some form a name-calling. And while he’s heating up red, Taehyung’s eyeing him up and down, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as a curved smile joins his expression.
One thing is for certain. Jeongguk is angry, and Taehyung wants to fuck him.
Telling him the same repetitive things won’t get Jeongguk anywhere, won’t make him win so instead, he projects.
Panting in his face, Jeongguk tightens his hands in the collar of Taehyung’s jersey.
Taehyung’s eyes turn hazy, his voice low when he asks, “What?”
“You look so fucking stupid right now.”
Taehyung’s eyebrow raises, an indication for Jeongguk to continue due to his curiosity.
“Can’t even have a normal conversation with me ‘cause I make you so fucking horny.”
“Really, now? You’re the one pressing up against me, Jeon.”
Jeongguk can’t tell if this is another trap or if he’s simply challenging him.
“And you’re the one who can’t even think straight because you want to fuck me so badly.”
Taehyung shrugs, yet his smile remains which creates more confusion within Jeongguk.
But he doesn’t let himself stop so easily. He keeps trying to win, to have Taehyung admit it.
“You want to fuck me right here, in the dirty, filthy locker rooms. Admit it. Tell me I’m right.”
He goes quiet, keeps staring intensely at Jeongguk who’s trying to catch his breath and let go of the anger that’s still thrumming inside.
There’s a long silence, one Jeongguk finds himself drowning in, and instead of playing this game further, he lets go of his jersey that’s still slightly damp with sweat, and starts walking away.
Whatever. He’ll just shower at ho—
A grip onto his wrist catches him off guard, the skin hot against his, and then he’s pulled right against the locker with Taehyung hovering slightly above him.
“What the f—”
“You’re right.”
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Jeongguk barely has time to answer before Taehyung drops the hold around him, fingers now dancing above his waistband instead, and drawing circles on his skin. Jeongguk’s breath hitches at the intimate contact, and before he can say another word, Taehyung beats him to it.
“I do want to fuck you.”
The clarification proving Jeongguk right transforms his anger into lust—wanting to feed off the feeling of winning. It explains why he bucks into Taehyung’s touches, smiling sneakily when he watches Taehyung’s eyes lose focus by catching his cock grow hard in the fabric of his shorts.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Eyes meet his, and then he’s turned around, his cheek along with his growing hard on, now pressed against the cold metal of the locker.
Jeongguk expects Taehyung to greedily pull his shorts down a little and open him up, but instead he’s crouching down, both hands inside the duffel bag.
The curiosity is there—Jeongguk wanting to know what in the world he’s looking for, but then Taehyung smiles in victory, and Jeongguk catches onto the lube and condom.
Of fucking course.
Of course, Kim Taehyung would have lube and condoms stashed inside his duffel bag. Jeongguk wants to laugh at the cliché, but he doesn’t even get to when Taehyung’s chest presses against his back, and his wet tongue runs all over his neck.
Jeongguk moans at the contact, Taehyung’s tongue pressing further, lips joining in and wrapping around his skin. He barely applies any pressure when he sucks, but Jeongguk’s mind grows hazy by the idea of how much he can do with that tongue of his.
“Pull your shorts down,” Taehyung demands, and Jeongguk steals a glance behind him.
“Too lazy, Kim?”
Taehyung fake chuckles, clearly annoyed by such an implication. “Want you to show me you want this just as much, Jeon. So, pull them down.”
“Where are your manners?”
He expects to hear it, to have Taehyung say it against his ear but instead he receives a bite.
“Ow! What the fuck—”
“You’re dragging it out again when we could’ve been fucking ten minutes ago.”
He’s not exactly wrong, but it takes another bite to his ear—this one more gentle—before Jeongguk obliges, too hard to care or think rationally. But, to keep it interesting, Jeongguk doesn’t pull them down all the way, just enough for Taehyung to put it in.
There’s no way in hell he’s giving him a pretty view after he’s denied him of begging—knowing Jeongguk’s into it.
Fucking dick.
“Doing so well, Jeon. Thank you,” Taehyung says behind him, hands now splayed onto the exposed skin.
Hiding his face, Jeongguk rolls his eyes, but doesn’t stop himself from pushing into the touch.
Taehyung’s hands are warm, a bit sweaty too, but Jeongguk’s too horny to make a fuss about it.
Seeing they are in an open space, it’s no wonder Taehyung hurries to pour some lube directly onto Jeongguk’s hole. He quickly pushes a finger inside, the adrenaline of potentially getting caught catching up with each minute of them dragging this out.
“Still just as tight.” Taehyung presses another, Jeongguk’s words choked by a moan, breath fanning onto the metal.
“Come on—we could get caught.”
Three fingers in, and Jeongguk’s body slumps further against the locker, his legs buckling whenever Taehyung’s finger pokes at his prostate as it hardens. His temples turn sweatier by the minute, knuckles white as he holds onto whatever he can, willing his legs not to give out at the overwhelmingly good pleasure.
Just as his cock twitches violently, in need of a release, Taehyung takes his fingers out and fiddles with the condom wrapper.
Jeongguk waits patiently, trying to catch his breath but then Taehyung curses which scares him.
“What?!”
“Can’t—open this fucking—condom,” Taehyung groans, the sounds of the wrapper slipping between his fingers filling the locker room.
“Use your teeth, you idiot.”
It’s quiet again, Jeongguk catching a glimpse of what’s happening behind him. Taehyung is about to bite down, but then he smiles instead—a smile that tells Jeongguk that he’s not about to listen to him.
“Here.” Taehyung guides the packaging to Jeongguk’s mouth, staring at his lips as he says. “Be a good boy, and open it.”
Jeongguk’s mouth runs dry. “Wh—”
Taehyung doesn’t indulge in Jeongguk’s internal panic over two fucking words—moving closer so that the rough plastic knocks into Jeongguk’s teeth. He’s impatient—and he has every right to be.
They could get caught at any time.
So, therefore, Jeongguk tugs as Taehyung pulls until the wrapper opens, revealing the rim of the condom.
“Look at that, teamwork.”
“Sometimes it’s best to shut the fuck up, Kim.”
He laughs but obeys, no longer dropping unnecessary comments and instead focusing on fucking into Jeongguk slowly.
The stretch feels even better than the first time, Jeongguk’s whines muffled due to the locker as Taehyung bottoms out. A guttural groan slips out from Taehyung, half of it barely making it out into the open when Taehyung drops his head down onto Jeongguk’s shoulders.
His hold is tight around him, both hands finding their way onto Jeongguk’s waist to keep him in place. And then he fucks him—fucks him the way he wants to and Jeongguk loves every minute of it.
He’s so lost due to so much pleasure coursing through him, eyes droopy as he keeps himself upright to take it all.
Taehyung’s no better, his thrusts already semi-sluggish, sneakers squeaking on the floor when he tries to move without losing balance. Jeongguk would’ve laughed if he wasn’t filled to the brim.
The dampness on their skin turns worse with the close proximity, causing an unbearable heat and before Jeongguk can make space between them by arching his back, Taehyung pulls away, sneaking both hands down, and spreads him open.
“Shit.” Taehyung curses, Jeongguk stealing a shameless glance only to catch Taehyung’s mouth half open, eyes dripping with lust as he watches his cock disappear within Jeongguk with every thrust.
Arching more into it, the pleasure builds faster, Jeongguk’s hands still white from being overly strained, but he could care less because he’s so close to tipping over the edge.
He’s just about to slip a hand down when Taehyung’s own grabs onto both of his wrists, keeping them locked.
“Not—fuck.” Taehyung moans, the hold tightening. “Yet.”
Jeongguk tries to keep the urge beneath the surface, not wanting to seem greedy when he’s being fucked so good he’s surprised his knees haven’t given out.
Therefore, he nods despite his breath coming shorter and his cock leaking an immense amount of pre-cum. Jeongguk’s so fucking close he can almost taste the orgasm in his mouth, the satisfaction keeping his appetite fulfilled but Kim Taehyung isn’t even close.
He’s still going at it, changing between rolling his hips into Jeongguk and thrusting—enough for the skin-slapping noises to echo inside the room. The sound makes Jeongguk cringe in worry, internally begging that no one hears them—or even worse, sees them.
That thought is quickly drifting away when he feels the warmth of Taehyung’s hand around his cock, stroking him at the same pace of his thrusts.
“F—fuck yeah,” Jeongguk slurs, already too out of it to care what comes out from his mouth. “Wanna—”
Taehyung’s hand squeezes around the tip, and that’s when Jeongguk loses it, tumbling forward so he almost knocks his forehead against the metal door, but thankfully lands with his temple and cheek pressed against it. He comes all over the floor beneath them, and onto Taehyung’s long, delicate fingers.
Two more sloppy thrusts and Taehyung collapses onto Jeongguk, his breath hot against his nape as his cock twitches repeatedly inside of him, milking himself dry. His teeth graze his skin when he catches his breath, pulling away just as fast—which Jeongguk is grateful for.
Slowly, Taehyung pulls out, hissing as his cock creates a slight pop sound. Jeongguk is still hanging onto the locker, heart rate quite rapid in his chest.
Although the ruffle of clothing catches his attention, Jeongguk turns around, and catches Taehyung in the middle of stripping himself bare.
The jersey is already over his head, the black locks all over the place when Taehyung shakes himself out of fabric, as it’s quite tight around his biceps.
“What?” Taehyung asks to break the stare.
“Nothin’.” Jeongguk looks away, pulling his shorts up in a hurry before grabbing Taehyung’s towel and wiping off the floor, the cum stains fully gone.
“Yo—did you just use my towel to clean up your cum?”
Jeongguk lifts an eyebrow. “Well, the cum wouldn’t have been there if a certain someone didn’t pull me in for a quick fuck.”
“Touché. Now get the fuck out of my sight.”
Standing back up, Jeongguk grabs his duffel bag, ignoring the uncomfortable smell of sex stuck to his soccer attire, and instead flicks off Taehyung with a wide smile as he walks backwards, and out of the locker rooms. “Gladly. Don’t pull that shit again, Kim!”
He never gets to hear his response, the door slamming between them.
Notes:
for more teasers and brain rotted yapping about ktg, follow my twitter
see you next week !!! afterwards, the uploads will be very slow as i've reached the writing stage of chapter 8! please be patient with me, and thank you all for showing immense love to this story of mine, i love & appreciate U !!
Chapter 7
Summary:
plot: I HAVE ARRIVED.
Notes:
all the smut was written on multiple bus rides :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk is in the middle of sipping his morning coffee when Ryu walks out of his bedroom fully dressed.
“Jeongguk. Why aren’t you dressed? I told Jimin we’d be in their apartment in—” He fishes out his phone, stares down at the screen for a second before looking back up. “Three minutes.”
At the brink of burning his tongue, Jeongguk places the mug down and fabricates a frown. “Wait—what are you talking about?”
“I told you yesterday we’d help Jimin and Taehyung with their apartment.”
“Ryu. I was drunk. You can’t just—”
He’s interrupted by a bitter chuckle. “I don’t care. Put on some pants, unless you want Taehyung and Jimin to see your Spider-man boxers.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “They’re the coolest boxers I own!”
“I know, it’s not like you don’t tell me every time the opportunity strikes. Now, pants on and I’ll meet you out front, okay?”
Jeongguk stares down at his coffee mug, and decides to bring it with him.
After covering his favorite and most comfortable boxers, he steps outside to meet Ryu by the door.
“You and Jimin are quite close,” Jeongguk comments when they step inside the elevator.
“Yeah, I don’t even remember how it happened. Suddenly, we just fell into conversation about campus and now we’re hanging out constantly. We’re actually going to a concert next weekend.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “Really? That sounds fun.”
“Yeah, we apparently listen to the same band.”
The elevator door opens, and the moment they step out they catch sight of Jimin and Taehyung struggling to carry a velvet green couch inside the door.
“Yah! Move it to—No! Left!”
“I suck at left and right!” Jimin shouts back and Ryu immediately skips over to help, holding tight on the material with a greeting smile, meanwhile Jeongguk stays put, sips lightly on his hot coffee, and stands with an arm crossed to his chest.
“Here, let me. It’s this way.” Ryu pushes left, the couch sliding with ease through the door.
The moment the couch is adjusted safely on the ground, Taehyung takes his snapback off and runs a hand through his damp hair.
“Thanks for the help, Jeon.”
“I was drinking my coffee,” Jeongguk excuses, catching the eye roll Taehyung sends him.
“Well, could you help unpack the boxes at least?” Jimin asks hopefully, and Jeongguk nods. “Alright, you can start with the one by the kitchen. Should be utensils, and pots.”
Jeongguk finds his way around it easily, catching the similarities from his own apartment.
Crouched down, Jeongguk opens the first box only to find—
“What kind of thick ass pencil is this? And why is it purple?”
Instantly, Ryu cracks up a laugh and Jeongguk's expression falters when he catches Taehyung raising both eyebrows in shock.
“Um—That’s not a pencil.”
Without hesitation, Jeongguk drops the vibrator back down in the carton. He makes the mistake of looking down, seeing more than he’s ever seen in terms of toys.
“I’m just going to ignore how many dildos can fit in this box.” Jeongguk smiles sarcastically as he moves onto the next.
“Yeah, good idea.” Jimin clasps a hand around Taehyung’s nape. “And you , next time check where you put your toys. We don’t want to scar innocent Jeonggukie for life.”
Taehyung chuckles. “He’s not that innocent.”
Jeongguk flinches, catching the frown increasing on Jimin.
“How would you know, Mr. Worldwide fucking?”
It’s hard not to laugh at the given nickname, Ryu already snickering behind Jimin while Jeongguk braces himself that a certain detail won’t spill in the middle of their apartment.
“Look at him!”
Jimin sighs. “I see nothing but a precious doe eyed baby.”
“Thanks hyung.” Jeongguk's lip curves upwards when Taehyung recollects himself, covering the top of his head with the red snapback and opening a box in the living room.
Jeongguk sends a warning look when neither Jimin nor Ryu are looking. Taehyung only shakes his head in response, finding the whole situation humorous while Jeongguk is planning how to get rid of him.
Mostly that running mouth of his.
“Fuck, I’m so hungry,” Ryu whines when he places the throw pillows on the couch.
“We should buy some ramen,” Jimin suggests, Ryu nodding along.
“Will you two behave while we’re gone?”
Jeongguk is in the middle of placing a pot in a cupboard when Jimin asks.
“Tell that to him.”
“Fuck you, Jeon.”
“They’ll be fine Jimin. It’s their love language.” Ryu is already putting on his shoes as Jeongguk swallows down the words.
“Nice try, but no.”
Politely, he sends off a smile and then they’re gone, leaving him alone with Taehyung who’s currently wiping down sweat with the hem of his t-shirt.
Jeongguk ignores the exposure of his happy trail, along with the defined ridges of his abs.
Yet, Taehyung runs his mouth either way.
“Didn’t take you for someone who’s extremely curious about toys.”
Jeongguk bites his tongue. “M’not.”
“Oh, don’t go all shy on me as if you haven’t had the privilege of me fucking you.”
The comment is unexpected, and Jeongguk turns to meet Taehyung’s eyes.
“Privilege? You fucking me is a privilege?”
Taehyung crosses his arms as if it’ll help make his point more apparent. “Yes. You’re lucky.”
“Un fucking believable.” Jeongguk clenches his jaw, watches Taehyung move closer until he crouches down to open the box Jeongguk has been lucky enough to see.
“Curious, Jeon?” Taehyung asks with a teasing tone, one that gets under his skin.
“Don’t care.”
Taehyung, despite Jeongguk's previous disclosure, fishes out the so-called pencil . He stares at Jeongguk intensely.
“This one’s great for edging.” Taehyung turns it on, a buzzing sound erupting. “Placing it on the frenulum, turning up the setting until they beg me to make them come. Works wonders.”
Jeongguk gulps down a lump in his throat. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“You into that, Golden Boy? Edging?”
“Stop. Talking.”
“Hm. Now, this—” It’s another vibrator, yellow this time and shaped weirdly. “Works great for stretching someone out, on top of that pressing down the perineum as I—”
“Okay, enough. I get it. You’re good at sex. You want a medal? Is that what this is?”
Taehyung’s lip curves into a side smile. “You think I’m good at sex?”
“Fucking hell.” Jeongguk turns around, ignoring his flustered red ears caused by the raw descriptions from Taehyung.
“That wasn’t a no.”
“And neither was it a yes, dickface.”
Taehyung laughs. “Dickface, huh. That’s new.”
Jeongguk shrugs, turns back around to face him. “Seemed fitting.”
“I’m so flattered, Jeonggukie.”
“Don’t…” Jeongguk crouches down, feeling Taehyung’s breath hitch when he doesn’t break eye contact. “Call me that. You’re not privileged to do so.”
“Then what? I’m only privileged in fucking you?”
Jeongguk curves his smile, breaking the hard glance. “Something like that.”
The door opens, startling them apart.
Neither notice how Jeongguk is awkwardly fixing his hair while Taehyung clears his throat multiple times.
“Huh. You’re both alive.”
“Told you, it’s their love language.” Ryu sings when he drops the grocery bag on the kitchen counter. Jeongguk quickly resumes unpacking, something he should’ve done the whole time that they were gone.
“I’m gonna—unpack in the—I mean my—my bedroom.” Taehyung mutters a curse word at the prominent blunder, rushing out of the room in a way that causes an indescribable feeling to rise in Jeongguk's stomach, one that removes his appetite.
“Did you say something to him?”
Jeongguk shakes his head.
“Just… go easy on him, okay?”
Jimin’s eyes scream worry, a look Jeongguk has never seen before which leaves him paralyzed in the middle of the kitchen.
“Uh, sure.”
Ryu and Jimin proceed with making ramen, turning up the small green speaker and putting on their favorite band.
Taehyung doesn’t step out of the bedroom once.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Off-season is Jeongguk's least favorite part about soccer.
There are two reasons for that matter.
One, they’re all stuck in the same gym which brings an awful stench in the area.
Two, Taehyung keeps groaning and moaning with every single pull.
It’s distracting, and it sends Jeongguk down the Kim Taehyung memory lane of fuckeries and sexcapade.
Which for him, is his worst nightmare.
Mingyu is in the middle of helping Taehyung with his sets when Jeongguk sucks in a breath and begins to do his usual routine, starting off with push ups.
“Are we doing the Red Devils Christmas party like last year?” Hoseok asks with a stutter, bringing down a barbell with a huff.
Soohyun nods as he strolls through the gym. “Yeah, my place for the first weekend of break as usual.”
“Hopefully our best striker joins us this year.”
“I don’t know yet. I’ll check my schedule.” Jeongguk returns back to doing push ups, ignoring the hopeful gaze Hoseok sends him.
“Are you busy with Mina? Is that why?”
The tone is teasing, obvious from a mile away, and Jeongguk laughs as he finishes his last push up.
“Who’s Mina?” It catches the attention of Soohyun, rarely hearing another name in relation to Jeongguk of all players.
“Just—this girl from my Psychology class.”
“Interesting.” Soohyun raises an eyebrow and Jeongguk catches on, quickly dismissing his theory.
“Oh no. No, no. Nothing like that.”
Mindlessly, Jeongguk's eyes trail across the gym, catching Taehyung’s attention all over him and Soohyun’s conversation.
Jealous, my ass.
Jeongguk scoffs, continues with his workout, Soohyun helping him out.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Wait—So you brought me all the way to IKEA to buy…batteries?”
Jori nods, trailing a hand over the different kid plushies as they walk past. Jeongguk has no clue where they’re going, always had a hard time following through the IKEA maze despite the arrows pointing them in every direction.
“My LED lights are done for, and they’re fun to have on my desktop when I draw my Webtoon.”
“Oh yeah, how’s that going? Did you manage to get out of your writing slump?”
Jori halts, beginning to fiddle with the different pillowcases that hang against the wall.
“Yeah, after receiving a good grade on the 60’s art assignment, it completely broke off my slump and I actually managed to finish the script for chapter twenty-five. Now I just have to draw it. Fuck.” Jori chuckles, Jeongguk joining along as he trails behind him.
“No one said it was easy.”
“You’re right, yeah. It’s really not. Fuck! Of all things, I’m good at drawing .” Jori hides his face in his hands, groaning as Jeongguk consoles him by petting his back. “Why couldn’t I just be a jock who throws around a basketball or some shit? Like just—fuck if I know, honestly.”
“Is this your way of telling me you’re in another slump?”
Jori whines. “Fuck off. It’s just… one of the characters is having a moment in the shower and…” With that, he continues to walk, ignoring the pestering from Jeongguk.
“Oh, come on. Say it.”
“Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t.” Jeongguk promises, and Jori releases a sigh.
“Okay fine, well. I, uhm, have a hard time drawing his…” Jori looks around, leaning forward to make sure no one hears the raunchy word that falls from his lips. “Dick.”
“I was—I was not expecting that.” Jeongguk tries to withhold a laugh as best as he can, seeing Jori is downright stressed in regards to the situation.
“And it’s weird if I use my own as a blueprint, I don’t know. I just can’t get the… details right.”
“Well, most Webtoons are censored. You could… draw it as a lightsaber!”
Jori deadpans. “What a turn on.”
“I’m serious! When I read Pearl Boy last year I—”
Jori’s eyes bug out. “You—You read Pearl Boy? The one where he ejaculates pea—”
Jeongguk scratches his nape, interrupting him quickly.
“Just the first season… but, that’s not the point here. The point is , in Pearl Boy, you could only see the shape of the dick and then it was just drawn in this like, white sort of flashy light. Here, let me show you an example.” Jeongguk fishes out his phone, scrolls through his history and finds the tab for Pearl Boy easily.
“Okay… I think it’s this chapter where they fuck. Hold on.” Jeongguk scrolls, clicks everywhere on his screen until he sees the display of the two characters about to have sex.
“There. See? This is censored. You could do that easily, right? Just, draw what looks like an eggplant or just any phallic shaped fruit and put that flashy white thing on it. Boom, dick drawing problem fixed.”
Jori shakes his head. “You know, that’s not so bad. Thanks, Jeongoo.”
“No worries. Now, let’s find your batteries and get out of here. I need to do some extra training when we get back.”
Jori nods. “Just, be careful.”
“Of course.”
“Okay, I think if we add two more slides, we should be good for Thursday.” Mina has both hands on the keyboard, eyes skimming all over the screen as Jeongguk collects note cards on his own computer.
“Yeah, if you take the first three slides I’ll be able to take the rest. I think that works as a great division, no? Or do you think Mr. Kim will have our heads on a spike for not doing proper teamwork?”
“I think that’ll do. We won’t get fried, trust me on this. Plus, I’m his favorite student so you’re in good hands, Jeon.”
Hearing his last name spoken by Mina causes an uneasy twist in his gut, but he ignores it quickly.
Instead, Jeongguk nods. “Indeed I am.”
Sitting in the library brings out a certain calm in Jeongguk's system, and helps boost his concentration for the upcoming presentation.
Mina is too busy editing the slides when Jeongguk's concentration plummets from a sudden noise behind him.
“I wanna go back to your place… Can I? I’ll be so good for you.”
Jeongguk cringes, shaking his head as he tries to continue typing, but it’s hard when another, too familiar, voice breaks through.
“That’s bold of you to assume I bring just anyone back home with me. I don’t know if you’ve earned it, noona.”
Jaw clenched, Jeongguk removes his fingers from the keyboard, and before he knows it, he’s standing up to interrupt—whatever the fuck is going on behind him.
“Excuse me.”
Both their eyebrows raise in question, Taehyung’s quickly relaxing when he sees who’s interrupting .
“Hi, sorry, you’re gonna have to take that outside. It’s disturbing others, thank you. Have a nice day!” Jeongguk's voice is laced with irritation, gaze never leaving Taehyung.
“Come on, let’s get out of here, noona.”
Jeongguk fake gags before walking back to his seat, and catches Taehyung throwing a wink in his direction.
Fucker.
Heartbeat drumming in his ears, Jeongguk tries to catch his breath after his run on the field.
His forehead is wet, nape too. Jeongguk quickly dabs it off with the sleeve of his tight, long-sleeved shirt.
The weather makes the heat bearable, Jeongguk finding solitude not long after, catching his breath as he looks up at the sky.
It’s almost midnight, the sky pitch black yet the lampposts are extremely bright, making the field seem alive despite it being stranded.
Jeongguk checks his watch, realizing he’s gone down in his running tempo.
As easy as it is to breathe, voices infiltrate his head.
Do better.
Again.
Don’t stop until you reach your goal.
Jeongguk sucks in a breath, squatting down to stretch, the ache killing his legs but he doesn’t care.
He needs to do better.
Just as he’s about to set off for another run, his earbuds ping loudly.
Naturally, he searches for his phone thinking it’s Ryu asking how far he is with his late night run but instead…
from: unknown number
Are you coming home for Christmas break?
Immediately, Jeongguk shuts his phone off, frustration seeping through his system. It’s so strong, so sudden that he throws a punch to the ground, screaming loudly in pain.
He feels like shit.
Everything bad, bitter reaches his mouth and Jeongguk wipes it down with his sleeve, grabbing his things in a hurry.
He wants to forget everything.
He needs to forget everything.
It’s a risk, Jeongguk is aware when he’s standing in front of the door about to ring the doorbell.
But by luck, the door flies open and there he is, carrying a bag of laundry.
“Jeon? What the fuck, dude.”
Immediately, regret washes over Jeongguk, the realization that being here is nothing more than a terrible mistake.
“Oh. Oh shit—This isn’t my apartment.”
“You are such a liar.” Taehyung giggles when Jeongguk's ears turn red.
“Goodnight, Kim.”
“Just ask nicely.”
“You wish. Goodnight.” Jeongguk begins to walk, Taehyung following suit as he carries the laundry bag around his shoulder.
“Wow, is that a polite, non horny Jeon Jeongguk? I don’t believe my fucking eyes.”
“N—non horny. Non horny?! What the f—”
Taehyung’s laundry bag falls to the ground, a thump being heard and somehow the sound absolutely breaks Jeongguk in half.
“Fine. Fine! I came for—that,” Jeongguk points at his crotch, Taehyung raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah? What else? There’s more.”
Fuck. It.
“I’m…” Trying to forget. Make me forget. “Curious.”
Taehyung squints his eyes. “Go on.”
“Kim.”
“Oh, stop being pissy for just a fucking second and tell me what you came for!”
“Your—box or whatever was in there. With the pencils and shit and—Are you seriously going to make me continue like this?!”
Taehyung chuckles. “Oh, absolutely.”
“Great, I won’t even be able to get hard with your attitude like this.”
“Getting you hard is the least of my problems, Jeon. Now, talk.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “This is such a waste of time, I’m leaving.”
“Fine. Let’s see if you can actually keep away this time.”
“I can.”
“Okay, let’s bet, fucker.”
“Fine, dickface.”
“One hour. I bet in one hour you’re back in front of my door, begging .”
Jeongguk's lips form into a thin line, trying his best to maintain seriousness in the so-called ridicule of a situation.
“Okay. One hour.”
“One hour, Jeon.”
“Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, dickface.”
“Less polite, but I'll take it.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, forgetting for a second the earlier events, too busy upping Taehyung.
from: unknown number
Are you coming home for Christmas break?
The message haunts Jeongguk the more he stares. He’s scared the letters will crawl out of the screen and inside his throat making him choke completely.
He has a hard time breathing.
from: unknown number
He keeps asking
Jeongguk turns off his phone completely, throwing it on his night table as he muffles a groan in the inside of his palms plastered on his face.
Tugging his hair, Jeongguk turns around and stares at his bright, old clock.
Indirectly it’s telling him he has less than an hour to make up his mind about Taehyung and the so-called bet.
Jeongguk taps his fingers on the covers before deciding to sneak inside Jori’s bedroom and see what he’s up to.
“Oh, hey Jeongoo.”
“Hey, am I bothering you?”
Jori smiles. “Never. Come here.” He pats a space next to him, the cartoon paused on his screen.
“What are you watching?” Jeongguk asks as he moves down to lay beside him.
“Bob’s Burgers.”
“Can I watch?”
Jori hums, sprawls an arm to tug Jeongguk to his side and plays the remaining length of the episode.
“This is so unhinged. No wonder you are too.”
“Hey! At least I hide it well.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Right, cause that definitely explains your Halloween costume.”
“That was creative, you can admit.”
“Oh, absolutely. Ten out of ten!”
Jori laughs. “Thanks, Jeongoo. Shit—It’s almost one in the morning? Did we really watch that much?” He scrolls on the computer, raising his eyebrows. “Fuck— we watched like, almost three episodes. That’s crazy.”
“It felt like one to be honest.”
Jeongguk hums, stares at the blank screen until the reminder dawns on him.
The bet.
Taking his sweet time, Jeongguk says goodnight to Jori, walking slowly to his room and pulling a hoodie over his head.
He yawns as he stretches his arms, putting on his black slides and pads outside, scratching his chin waiting for the elevator to come up to his floor.
The night air is colder than during the day, Jeongguk slightly freezing as he waits, hugging his figure when he steps inside and presses the button.
Usually, the elevator allows radio music, the classic k-pop hit songs playing on repeat but because it’s late at night it’s gone completely quiet. Jeongguk feels weird about it.
The hall is completely stranded when Jeongguk steps out and begins to walk towards Taehyung and Jimin’s apartment.
He doesn’t knock, only waits and magically the door flies open, Taehyung with a cheeky grin greeting him.
“Hey, Golden Boy.”
“Kim.”
“Knew I’d win.”
Jeongguk checks the watch on his wrist. “Actually. It’s been an hour and one minute, so technically you’re wrong. You lost, big boy.”
Immediately, the grin disappears. “You’re kidding.”
With a toothy grin, Jeongguk shakes his head. “Nope.”
“It’s one minute. That doesn’t count. Technically you left your apartment after an hour but taking the elevator caused that one minute to hit.”
“That wasn’t the bet, Kim. The bet was that in one hour I’d be standing, begging. ” Jeongguk mocks in a deep voice, Taehyung scoffing in offense.
“I don’t sound like that.”
“Like what? Oh, Jeon, Golden Boy. Oh! You're so tight!”
Taehyung tongues his cheek. “Are you done?”
Jeongguk smirks. “Bet you’re gonna cave, are you curious, Jeon? Oh this fuckass toy is great for edging— ”
“Jesus christ, you’re such an ass.”
“Yet, you want it. Interesting, isn’t it?”
Taehyung crosses his arms, leans against the door but doesn’t move closer. “And you don’t want my dick? I mean, you’re here, aren’t you?”
“Well if you’re going to use a pencil on me, then am I really?”
“Okay, I’ve had it with your shit, get inside.”
“Are you willing to beg for it?” Jeongguk grins, and instead of Taehyung complying, he shuts the door in his face, the smugness dropping immediately.
“Fucking dick.”
Jeongguk considers knocking, but Taehyung opens the door again.
“Oh? You’re still here? Needy much?”
“Fuck off, Kim. Let’s not forget how needy you were during the cabin trip.”
Taehyung takes a step forward. “Right, cause you definitely weren’t fucking drooling over that. I mean, me being desperate made you shut up, Jeon. No?”
Jeongguk's nostrils flare in anger.
Okay, so maybe he did.
“Whatever. Is Jimin home?”
“Why are you asking? Is it because you know you’ll get loud when we start?”
Jeongguk chuckles, bringing a hand forward and begins to scratch behind his ear. “Right, because my main priority right now is making sure I’m not loud . Seriously, where’s your head at?! I’m asking because I don’t want to get caught and have to explain how somehow, I’m involved with your cock of all available cocks on campus. Oh God, Jimin wouldn’t be able to look at me if he found out.”
Panic settles in the pit of Jeongguk's stomach, an emotion he has yet to digest since the first sexual encounter with Taehyung.
“Okay calm down, you’re not in the middle of getting arrested. It’s sex, Jeon. Jesus, you look pale as shit.”
Jeongguk sighs. “Just—Is he home, yes or no?”
Taehyung opens the door a bit wider, grinning. “Why don’t you take a guess?”
“You piece of shit.”
“What? We’re finally communicating, Jeon. That’s what people do.”
“No, this isn’t communication.This, is you yapping, being an annoying shit, while I have to put up with it.”
“Mhm, right yeah ’cause you’re so innocent. Just a second ago you were dragging it with your mockery.”
“Don’t—”
“Hey, look at me, I’m annoying the fuck out of Kim Taehyung instead of sucking him off. Oh, I just love it here! Sprinkles, rainbows, soccer balls–”
Jeongguk bites his tongue down. “That was a shit ass mockery. Let me in.”
“Ask nicely.”
“Dickface, annoying, headass… Let me in?” Jeongguk bats his eyes and Taehyung sighs.
“You’re unbelievable.”
Finally, Taehyung steps aside, allowing Jeongguk inside but not before yelling in his face to take his shoes off.
“Wow, you guys have come far with the apartment,” Jeongguk notices, and Taehyung hums.
“Jimin’s dad came and helped earlier this week.”
Jeongguk tries not to visibly give out a reaction.
“Hm. Nice.”
They walk silently to the bedroom, Taehyung already removing half of his clothing before Jeongguk has stepped in the room.
“Okay, chill out.”
“Actually, this is your fault for dragging out whatever foreplay that was outside.”
“F—Foreplay?!” Jeongguk's eyes bug out while he takes off his hoodie. “You call… that foreplay? Your dick wasn’t even out. What kind of—seriously, for the love of god, find a dictionary and look it up.”
“I don’t think a dictionary has the word foreplay in it. Maybe Urban Dictionary.”
Jeongguk undoes his zipper next. “Yeah, that’s still a dictionary.”
“Yeah, for slang and sexual terms.”
“Still a dictionary.”
“Oh god, please shut your mouth. I’m actually tired of you. Get on the bed.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes but does as told, sits down on the warm covers of Taehyung’s bed while he reaches inside his closet and brings out the box .
“So what? Am I just supposed to lay here?”
“Yeah, and shut up. Thanks.”
There’s a slight breeze in the room, Jeongguk's nipples turning hard and perky when Taehyung stands in between his legs, the yellow, and weirdly shaped vibrator in his hand.
“Nervous?”
“Um… Should I be?”
“I don’t know… Isn’t this your first time with toys?”
“How the fuck is that relevant? Just take your dick out!”
Taehyung sighs before dropping down on his knees, the vibrator placed against Jeongguk's thigh.
It feels cold at the first touch, but then Taehyung’s hands are on him and his mind diverts elsewhere.
They’re big on him, long slender fingers gnawing the skin of his thighs. Jeongguk can feel Taehyung’s hot breath above his clothed cock when he speaks.
“Want yours out first.”
“Take it out, yeah. Fuck—do whatever.” Jeongguk steals a glance downwards, sees the flashy grin on Taehyung’s lips before they pucker around the head of his cock, kissing it softly as if it was a pair of lips.
It shouldn’t drive Jeongguk to absolute madness but it does. Especially since the field incident where he had lost complete control because of pleasure.
He needs to stop thinking about Taehyung’s lips.
But fuck.
He makes it hard when he allows them to trail over the fabric, looking up to see every expression on Jeongguk's face.
Trying to keep a straight face, Jeongguk closes his eyes, figures it’s the view of Taehyung that has him writhing beneath him, even though his cock isn’t out, and he’s painfully hard in his boxers.
“See? Told you I’d have no problem getting you hard.”
Jeongguk stays quiet, focusing on something entirely different than the fact Taehyung somehow won as well between them.
Sure, Jeongguk may have won the bet, but Taehyung held his word for it.
And that’s a win, sadly.
“Fuck—you’re so hard, Golden Boy,” Taehyung whispers against his tip, fingers playing with the waistband teasingly.
“Shut up.” Jeongguk grits his teeth and Taehyung smiles. He can feel the shape of them, all wide and spread.
Expecting for Taehyung to pull the boxers down in one go, it surprises Jeongguk when he feels half of Taehyung’s face nudging against his cock.
The act shouldn’t be so hot but Taehyung’s desperation is practically rolling off of him in waves .
The bridge of his nose brushes past the base of it, and then he moves upwards, a whole cheek pressed against the shape of Jeongguk's cock in his underwear.
“Yeah—so hard.”
Jeongguk gulps. “You’re dragging it—shit.”
Lightly, he feels the pad of Taehyung’s finger running up and down the shape as if he’s admiring and tracing out how truly fucking hard Jeongguk is.
It’s something he’s never experienced before, the pace, rhythm of it all in terms of sex. Although for Taehyung? This seems to be a habit . But it’s no surprise coming from him, he does fuck… a lot .
“Kim.”
It’s a warning, Taehyung knows, yet continues to trail his finger and ignores how Jeongguk's cock twitches, aiming to be touched.
“Patience, come on. It’s an important skill in soccer, don’t tell me you forgot?”
Jeongguk bites his lip when he opens his eyes, catching Taehyung’s own glued to the wet stained patch in his boxers.
“I didn’t—Just…”
No. Jeongguk can’t beg, shouldn’t.
Yet, it’s hard, it’s hard with the way Taehyung licks over his lips, and it becomes even harder when he curses at the sight of the stain growing darker.
“Just what, Jeon? Hm?”
Jeongguk ignores the tempting tone, how it aches for him to cave.
He won’t.
“Nothin’. Are you gonna put that toy to good use or…?”
Taehyung hums, and continues to tease. “Hm, I don’t know, you were such a bitch earlier. Mouthy, too.”
With some undigested anger, Jeongguk grabs Taehyung’s jaw with a bit of pressure. “Yeah? Well, so were you. So, come on, show me how mouthy you can get.”
It’s an invitation, and Taehyung knows .
“Is this your way of asking me to suck you off?”
Jeongguk is going to kill him.
“What the fuck else? My dick is harder than a fuckin’ brick! And you’re doing—that—little fuckboy act of yours and shit.”
Taehyung grins. “Fuckboy act. Cute, thanks Jeon. Also, you’re gonna have to earn that by asking me nicely. Come on, we need to tolerate each other don’t you think? Hm? For the team?”
Jeongguk's nails dig inside the soft skin of Taehyung’s cheeks.
“Oh you really want to go there today, huh.” Jeongguk sucks in a breath, tilts his head back as he loudly groans. “Fine! Please, suck me off.”
“You’re right, it is fucking hot.”
Taehyung doesn’t waste more time, drops the teasing tactics in an instant and removes Jeongguk's semi-stained boxers.
They’ve barely reached his ankles when Taehyung leans forward, licking a stripe from the base to the tip, both hands still on Jeongguk's tensed thighs.
Jeongguk's jaw goes slack when Taehyung’s hand grabs the base of his cock, making it stand tall as he puckers his lips and glides them teasingly over the skin.
“Kim—”
It’s not a warning this time. Jeongguk allows it to fall from his lips, and wants Taehyung to know that he’s fully aware it’s his mouth around his cock.
Jeongguk doesn’t know where it comes from, but from the looks of it, Taehyung seems surprised.
The heat of Taehyung’s warm, wet mouth wraps around the tip, sucking softly so that it makes a brief sloppy noise, and it’s driving Jeongguk completely haywire.
He’s so lost in it that mindlessly his hand tugs Taehyung’s hair roughly.
Taehyung moans around his cock, Jeongguk continues to tug knowing Taehyung wants it.
It’s not the wetness around his cock that makes Jeongguk moan, no, it’s the sight of Taehyung’s mouth shaped so perfectly round to fit it in.
“Shit—yeah that’s f—so good.” Jeongguk is all over the place the more Taehyung takes him in his mouth.
And oddly enough, it’s more intense than at the Halloween party when he had first gotten a taste of Taehyung’s oral sex skills.
Maybe it’s the fact they’re all alone.
Maybe it’s because they’re in Taehyung’s bedroom, an intimate and very private place.
Mayb—
Jeongguk feels a sudden buzz by the edge of his balls.
“What the f—Ah!”
Fuck, why does it feel so good?!
It presses harder, a thrill of pleasure like never before coursing through his veins, bubbling in the pit of his stomach in utmost excitement.
“K—Kim.”
“Hm?” Taehyung teasingly smiles, lips curved and wet around his slit while Jeongguk stares dumbly.
“You—It’s—Oh god,” Jeongguk whines, arching his back when the buzz grows to a higher tempo.
“You like that?”
“Uh huh,” Jeongguk nods, wetting his lips.
“Want more?” Taehyung twists the toy, causing it to poke at his perineum.
“Shit—yeah.” Jeongguk tightens the grip around his hair and Taehyung bites back a moan, trying to withhold the control.
“Ask nicely for it.”
Jeongguk lifts himself enough for his face to be mere inches away from Taehyung’s.
“Or what–”
Taehyung immediately turns off the vibrator, the building pleasure in Jeongguk's gut vanishing just as fast.
“What the fuck?!” Jeongguk's tone is hard and bitter, biting too.
“I said, ask nicely, Jeon. Come on, you’re great at following orders on the field, what happened to our Golden Boy, hm?”
Jeongguk drops flatly on the bed, sighing in annoyance. “Whatever, Kim.”
Yet, it seems Taehyung still has hope to hear the magic word.
Gently, his fingers trail towards Jeongguk's perineum, pressing a bit.
Jeongguk's back naturally arches at the teasing touch.
“Come on, Jeon.” Taehyung’s tone is impatient and that causes a smirk to tug on Jeongguk's lips.
“Alright, let’s say I did say it, then what?”
Taehyung sucks in a breath. “Then…” He turns on the vibrator, trails it on Jeongguk's inner thigh.
“Mmm—” Jeongguk bites his lip. “Okay. Okay fine. Please.”
Taehyung doesn’t respond, continues to place the vibrator where Jeongguk wants it and allows the pleasure to grow.
As Jeongguk slowly writhes beneath him, all flushed and out of it, Taehyung speaks.
“Can I stretch you out?” Taehyung asks against Jeongguk's skin.
“I—We don’t have time. Just—make me come.”
Make me forget.
Naturally, the pressure grows harder, along with the vibrations that swirl beneath Jeongguk's skin.
Everything is forgotten.
Jeongguk doesn’t think anymore, only focuses on Taehyung’s hands, his mouth, his curly hair that’s pulled and played with by his tattooed hand.
For what feels like an eternity, Jeongguk forgets.
Taehyung wraps his mouth around his cock before he comes undone, swallowing it all down with a moan, nails digging into the flesh of his thighs.
Catching his breath, Jeongguk stares at the ceiling and then he sees the words, all over, written in thick chunks.
It looks like a monster.
Maintaining his facade, Jeongguk clears his throat as he gets up slowly, meeting Taehyung’s fucked out face.
Instead of returning the favor, Jeongguk decides to be a dick. He can’t let Taehyung see him like this.
“Uh—Good game, Kim. Bye!” Jeongguk scrambles to put on his boxers and pants, Taehyung staring at him with a perplexed expression.
“Good game? Jesus Christ, Jeon. Who says ‘good game’ after sex?!”
“I don’t have time for some bullshit, empty discussion about what’s right or wrong to say after sex with you.” Jeongguk flashes a fake smile, and leaves Taehyung on his knees, hard in his sweatpants.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
In the middle of watching a movie with Ryu, his phone rings in his pocket.
“Sorry—it’s my mom.”
Jeongguk nods. “It’s okay.”
“Hey mom!” His voice is filled with excitement, with love.
“Yes, I’m coming for Christmas Break! Uh—I’ll probably stay for a few days and then go home a bit before New Years to celebrate with Hector, Jori and Jeonggukie. Uh huh—yeah okay. No, that works. Okay, bye!”
“So?”
“Oh—nothing much. Just going back to Tokyo for the week but I’ll be back on the 28th so that we can do our little tradition before New Years.” Ryu brings Jeongguk closer in a cuddle.
“Okay, that’s great.”
“Are you staying back in Seoul for Christmas like last year?”
“Mhm.”
Jeongguk tries not to sulk.
Ryu catches on quickly. “Hey, you could come with me, I know my mom won’t mind. She loves you.”
“That’s—” Jeongguk sighs. “That’s really sweet, Ryu but I don’t know—I think it’s best I spend it alone.”
Ryu brings Jeongguk closer, enough for his chin to lean on the top of his hair. “Just—if you ever change your mind, you can always tell me, okay?”
Jeongguk hums, snuggling further against his roommate as the movie continues to play.
“Also—I know you said there’s nothing between you and Mina but—I mean…from the looks of it and coming from me, your professional love guru, she wants you. Like—badly. I think that rejection wasn’t good enough, Jeonggukie.”
With that, Jeongguk frowns. “Ryu. She doesn’t want me, come on we’re just working on a project together and share a class. It’s really not that deep.”
“Hm, so what you’re saying is you and Taehyung’s relationship is deeper ?”
“Wait—why are we talking about Kim now?”
Ryu deadpans. “He’s literally the only guy you’ve had some form of relationship with since the first semester after he—”
“Don’t remind me. God—what me and… Kim share or—whatever that is, there isn’t even something. It’s just. It’s nothing! There is absolutely nothing! Well, okay do I dream about suffocating him with a soccer ball? Yeah, I do. But that does not equal a relationship .”
Ryu smacks a hand lightly over Jeongguk's cheek. “You have no idea, do you?”
Jeongguk's heart stops for a second.
“Clearly he wants to fuck you.” Ryu continues and Jeongguk finds his heartbeat again.
“Oh—uh, no. That’s—no.” Jeongguk flashes a disgusted expression, one Ryu buys for a short second.
“Don’t give me that! You know this! Come on, are we gonna forget the first ever uni party where he—”
“Are we watching this movie or are we going down memory lane?” Jeongguk crosses his arms.
“Oh come on, we’re bonding over old memories!”
“That party is not some old memory, I’m still mourning over the embarrassment…” Jeongguk looks away, feels himself cringe for a minute when a vivid image flashes in his brain from that night.
God, that’s the night that reminds him not to drink clear Vodka.
“Yah! Did you see how people looked at you? How Kim Taehyung did? Dude.”
“Movie time! I’m not hearing shit from you.”
“Boohoo. You’re boring.”
Despite it, the movie replays and they fall into a comfortable silence.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“I think this mug is more… her. Hm. What do you think?”
“I mean… it’s polka dotted? Does she like… dots?”
Jori grins, “No, she just constantly makes new points.”
“You’re so corny.” Jeongguk chuckles as he looks away, noticing the different mugs displayed in the store.
Most of them are Christmas themed as it’s right around the corner, others filled with meaningless but funny quotes carved over it. Jeongguk grabs one, stares at the thick, black letters.
To love, is to hate.
Jeongguk chuckles at the downright bullshit painted on the mug.
“I think I’m gonna buy the polka dotted mug. It’s very her.” Jori keeps holding onto it and Jeongguk nods along.
“Yeah, buy whatever feels right.”
“I wi—” Jori cuts himself off as he looks down and grabs his phone. “Sorry—it’s my dad, hold on…”
He walks a bit away, keeps staring at the mug as he talks. Jeongguk understands half of it, his English level not as good as he had hoped.
As Jori continues, Jeongguk walks around the store, spotting different room posters, along with plants for decorations.
Carefully, he touches the leaves and then Jori is back, smiling widely.
“What’s up?”
“I have good news.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow as he waits impatiently.
“I’m gonna see my dad this Christmas. He bought me a ticket to New Jersey!”
Immediately, Jeongguk squeals in excitement for his friend, knowing it’s hard to see his father that lives so far away.
“That’s great!”
“Also, he said to buy Kimchi, tons of it.” Jori notes and Jeongguk chuckles as they walk to the register.
“Alright, let’s stop by the market so you can get him the right amount of Kimchi.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Holy shit.”
“I told you we’d nail it!” Mina exclaims excitedly as they walk outside of class with the best grade stamped on their foreheads.
“I—Mr. Kim is like the hardest nut to crack but we did—we. Holy shit?!” Jeongguk remains astonished while Mina can’t help but laugh at the scene.
“Told you, I’m his favorite.” She sends off a wink and Jeongguk shakes his head as he bites down a smile.
“So, I was thinking now that we’re done with the project if you wanted to grab a celebratory drink?”
Jeongguk halts. “Uh… Sorry. I—I can’t.”
Mina drops her head a bit but allows it easily. “It’s fine. Just an offer, really.”
“Oh, no no. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it's just… It’s off-season and I need to work out today.”
It seems to lighten her a bit after an explanation.
“No worries, I’ll see you around then? After break?”
“Yeah, sure thing.”
The gym is usually empty at this time. Jeongguk prefers to workout alone, be in his own thoughts as he moves around to each machine.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case today.
After dropping his bag in the locker rooms, he grabs his towel and water bottle only to walk out to see Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung already in full swing.
Jimin is the first to spot him, facing the entrance to begin with.
“Hey, Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk greets silently, moving around to stretch somewhere with no trouble and enough space.
“Yah! Jeonggukie! I didn’t know you worked out at this time,” Hoseok says as he clasps a hand around his nape.
“It’s my lucky hour, hyung,” Jeongguk explains as he places the water bottle down, Taehyung moaning with a hiss as he raises the barbells.
“Of course it is. Are you coming Saturday? At Soohyun’s place?”
Truth be told, Jeongguk has barely had time to think about it, mind elsewhere.
“I don’t know, uh, I’ll see if I can stop by.” Jeongguk smiles, and Hoseok steps away to let him workout in peace.
After stretching for a good amount of time, Jeongguk puts on his earbuds and steps onto the treadmill.
Small steps to begin with, Jeongguk doesn’t look behind him but he feels it.
He feels the daggers in his back.
Giving into it too easily, he removes one earbud and looks behind with a harsh glance.
“Got a problem, Kim?”
Taehyung chuckles as he rises from the bench, lower back soaked along with his exposed biceps. He doesn’t answer, instead grabs his water bottle and chugs some of it, enough for it to drip down on his t-shirt and neck.
“So, what? I can’t even look at you?”
Jeongguk's jaw clenches when he catches the teasing tone.
“No, you fucking can’t. Do your shit, or don’t. Slack off, I could care less.”
Hoseok steps in kindly. “Hey, come on, not here. Let’s keep it cool, yeah?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes but obliges. He goes back to speeding up the space on the treadmill until he’s full on sprinting.
Too focused on looking forward, Jeongguk doesn’t notice Taehyung stepping on the treadmill beside him and catching up way too quickly.
“What the fuck?!” Jeongguk pants, not halting in his run for Taehyung .
“Is this slacking off to you, Jeon? I’m at the same pace as you.” Taehyung grins, knowing he nailed this evil comeback.
Instead of answering and adding more fuel, Jeongguk speeds up the pace on the treadmill.
Taehyung follows suit, keeping up with it which ticks something in Jeongguk.
He’s not here to compete in strength, but apparently Taehyung thinks this is what should happen.
“Are you done?”
“Not yet, I’m just proving you wrong, ace.”
Ace.
A new nickname.
Jeongguk wants to fucking strangle him.
The pace on the treadmill becomes so fast that Jeongguk feels himself almost tap out, but not before Taehyung does who seems to catch up with it as well.
He’s panting more heavily, steps a bit slacked off and just before Jeongguk is about to step off, Taehyung does, wiping his forehead down as he tries to catch his breath.
A second later, Jeongguk stops his run and chugs an awful amount of water.
Jesus fucking christ.
“I can’t feel my legs.” Taehyung whines as Jimin breaks out into a laugh.
“Yeah ‘cause clearly you’re stupid if you think you’re better than Jeongguk.”
Naturally, Jeongguk smirks as he continues to drink water.
Well, maybe working out with some company isn’t that bad.
“Are you sure this is worth it? I can’t feel my left toe.” Jeongguk whines as Ryu bites into the dessert he bought in another booth. Jori and Hector are too busy hugging each other to stay warm to even be aware of the fact Jeongguk is complaining.
“It’s almost midnight!” Ryu mumbles with half eaten chunks in his mouth.
“Ryu!”
Turning around, Jeongguk catches sight of Jimin and Taehyung bundled up in big jackets and scarfs walking towards them. Jeongguk feels his stomach turn sour by the view of Taehyung still sporting a fucking snapback on his head in freezing weather.
“Jiminie! Hey—you here for the Christmas Tree too?” Ryu asks as he envelops him in a hug, squishing the sides of his thick brown jacket.
“Yeah—Taehyung and I never miss it.” He explains as Taehyung greets Jori and Hector, completely ignoring Jeongguk's presence.
Before Ryu can respond, the tree lights up and everyone cheers and stands in awe. Jeongguk gets lost in a trance, almost sees a distant memory turn more vivid the longer he stares.
Instead, he finds it easier to catch a glimpse at his friends. Their expressions are bright, filled with warmth and Jeongguk feels an ugly emotion bubble in the pit of his stomach.
Envy.
Jeongguk finds it best to leave, hiding his face in the collar of his thick puffer jacket.
“M’gonna head out. My left toe feels numb.”
“Already?” Jori pouts a bit in disappointment.
“Yeah, sorry—But I’ll see you at home. It was nice seeing you Jimin.” Jeongguk smiles, glancing towards Taehyung for a second. “Kim.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes but allows it, and then Jeongguk leaves the group behind.
The walk isn’t long, their apartment is only a few minutes from Downtown Seoul. Jeongguk is so busy keeping his fingers warm in his pockets that he ignores the urge to pull out his phone and earbuds to listen to some music.
And yet that won’t be needed to begin with when a certain someone follows him out.
“Ace.”
The nickname burns in Jeongguk's skull.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
The tone is uninviting, harsh too, but Taehyung only finds it entertaining. Jeongguk sees it when he smiles widely and breaks into a chuckle.
“I’m giving you the possibility of apologizing to me.”
Jeongguk frowns. “Huh?”
Taehyung steps closer, enough for Jeongguk to see him clearer, and even catch the faint redness on his cheeks. “For leaving me hard, ace.”
Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk walks away, ignoring Taehyung laughing annoyingly behind him.
“You can admit that was a dick move, Jeon,” Taehyung shouts as Jeongguk shakes his head, stunned by the stupidity.
Taehyung keeps up with the fast-paced steps, walking close behind as he continues to pester Jeongguk.
“Go cry about it if you haven’t already, Kim.”
“My dick has!”
“You’re so fucking annoying.” Jeongguk points out the obvious.
“You owe me, ace.”
Jeongguk halts in his steps, turning around to meet Taehyung’s lustful and deprived gaze.
“Owe you what? An apology or head?”
It’s meant to be spiteful and annoying, but with the way Taehyung’s eyes squint in happiness, it proves to be the opposite.
“How about…You apologize and you suck me off.”
Jeongguk smirks, “No. Now stop pestering me and go back to your little tree watching.”
“What if I said…” Taehyung moves closer, now breathing hot against Jeongguk's earlobe that’s cold and red. “Please.”
Immediately, a lump rises in his throat, memories of Taehyung beneath him and begging flashing in his clouded mind.
Jeongguk looks around, making sure no one catches what’s currently happening between them.
Seeing the coast is clear, Jeongguk gives in to it, but not all .
“M’not apologizing, Kim.”
“Yet…?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes and starts walking, Taehyung now beside him with a flashy grin that gives him a certain headache.
“So—”
“If you want head then shut the fuck up, Kim.” Jeongguk smiles as he pats Taehyung’s back harshly.
“You’re so boring .”
The crowded streets fill the silence between them, Jeongguk almost forgetting he’s walking alongside Taehyung.
For some odd reason, it’s a bit surprising how quiet Taehyung can suddenly be when all he does is talk. A form of pleasantness forms between them due to it, and therefore Jeongguk feels a bit out of it being so… quiet despite being the one who told Taehyung to shut up in the first place.
“Wow, look at you being dedicated for once.” Jeongguk adds on when Taehyung throws a wink instead. “Wish that counted for soccer too.”
It cracks a frown on Taehyung’s face, Jeongguk catching it quickly yet he remains quiet, lips sealed shut with dedication.
“Wow, well would you look at that. Cocky, fuckboy Kim avoiding a fight to get his dick sucked.” Jeongguk almost doesn’t believe it, and has a hard time swallowing it yet Taehyung surprises him yet again.
He steps close enough for his words to only reach Jeongguk. “Anything for that mouth, ace.”
“Ha. Real classy, Kim.” Jeongguk walks further in front to avoid Taehyung catching his ears reddening more than earlier.
As they near the apartment complex, Taehyung finally removes the tight zipper around his lips.
“See?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes and presses the button for the elevator. “Well, technically you failed.”
“I was whispering, that’s not talking,” Taehyung argues back, sporting a semi that Jeongguk notices quickly.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Should we go to your place? Kinda curious to see what your room looks like. Probably filled with expired condoms and like fifty soccer balls.”
Jeongguk chuckles dryly before the elevator dings loudly, metal doors opening in an instant. “Just take your dick out, and stop talkin’.”
When the doors shut, Taehyung raises both eyebrows. “Wait—in here?!”
“What?”
The elevator stays put, Taehyung’s expression slowly softening into a lustful one.
“Oh, you really couldn’t wait, huh. I mean—I know it’s the best you’ve ever had Jeon, but calm down, I’m not going anywhere. You have me all to y—” Taehyung is flashing annoyance and cockiness all while Jeongguk drops down to his knees, and completely ignores it.
“If your dick is not out in ten seconds, I’m leaving,” Jeongguk interrupts, staring up at Taehyung whose eyes are blown out.
“So needy .”
“Kim.”
Taehyung sighs in defeat. “Fine!” He unbuttons his jeans, the fabric falling instantly down to his ankles, and Jeongguk moves closer, knees dragging across the elevator floor.
“Five seconds, Kim.”
Without hesitation, Taehyung removes his boxers in the middle of the elevator.
He keeps a hand around the base of his cock and Jeongguk tries to take over, but then he runs his slim, long fingers through the semi-long strands of Jeongguk's hair.
“Wanna fuck your face.”
Jeongguk's smile curls sideways. “As if you can, Kim.”
“C’mere.” He pushes his head gently towards his wet tip, Jeongguk's cold hands sliding over his thighs, and for a second Taehyung shakes out a tremble.
But then, it starts to feel nice and Taehyung decides to coat Jeongguk's lips with the pre-cum, all while staring with a fucked out expression.
Somehow, Jeongguk is thrown back to their first sexual encounter in the closet back in the cabin, remembering how nervous he was, yet Taehyung found it hot and brought out a certain confidence in Jeongguk.
“Can I?”
“Uh huh, just be quick.”
Wasting no time, Jeongguk mouth gets filled instantly with Taehyung’s cock.
The process is so easy, that Taehyung moans when it’s almost fully coated by warmth, Jeongguk mentally grinning over proving him wrong.
There’s barely any thrusting when giggles are heard on the other side of the elevator door. Jeongguk is quick to hear Hector’s unhinged laugh and immediately flies into a state of panic while Taehyung is still focusing on having his dick sucked.
“Shit—Kim. They’re—”
The doors are in the middle of opening when Jeongguk pushes himself off and Taehyung struggles to put on his pants.
They’re doomed.
This is where Jeongguk's life instantly ends.
As the doors open fully, they’re met with the security guard from the building staring dumbly at them being all over the place.
“Oh—good evening.”
Taehyung and Jeongguk bow respectfully, flushed with embarrassment as the security guard glances awkwardly between them.
“Well, the elevator seems to be working. Have a good night.” He walks away, Jeongguk feeling his lungs loosen the more he disappears.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Jeongguk manages to say in between his stressful pants.
Taehyung doesn’t respond, gets up instead and presses his floor button.
“What are you doing?”
“Just trust me on this, Jeon.”
“Trust you? Fuck that—” Jeongguk acts on his own, about to push on the right button when Taehyung stops him.
“I’m not done with you.”
“Yeah well, I’m not trying to get caught. Goodnight.” Jeongguk crosses his arms, determined to leave on his own floor and fall into his bed, but Taehyung isn’t playing around.
“You won’t, ace.”
Jeongguk forces a high pitched laugh to tumble out of his throat, one to aim direct embarrassment at Taehyung for his words, but there’s no reaction, nothing that proves it’s hit the right aim.
Fuck.
He’s not kidding.
Well, if he wants to play, Jeongguk will certainly play .
He loosens his shoulders, leaning against the railing of the elevator as he sighs. “Fine.”
Taehyung’s grin is prominent from then on, not knowing what’s about to happen. All he knows is that Jeongguk will follow him to the apartment despite his heart racing in his chest by the mere thought of getting caught.
Arriving at the front door, Jeongguk swallows down his anxiety, keeping it locked in his stomach for now. Taehyung flashes a smile before he types in the code, opening the door with ease.
Jeongguk follows him inside, the corridor dark and half empty, the cardboard boxes still filled with a lot of things to make the space a home.
The apartment is quiet.
Too quiet if Jimin was here, which explains why Taehyung had asked Jeongguk to trust him.
“You sneaky little shit. You knew he wasn’t home, didn’t you?”
Taehyung licks his lips, Jeongguk watching with piqued curiosity and noticing how they suddenly seem brighter.
“They talked about some action movie…him and Ryu and how they were gonna watch it at your place.”
“Ah.”
Jeongguk feels a bit dumb, but he blames it on the elevator incident that had spiked uncomfortable trembling in his veins.
“Now, you gonna apologize to me and stuff your mouth, ace? Hm?” Taehyung steps closer, brushes a finger on Jeongguk's pierced nipple, a trick that works for a second because of the sensitivity but Jeongguk is not here to lose.
He’s here to win.
“Mmm…” Jeongguk drags out the word, savors it as he tucks a finger beneath the waistband of Taehyung’s pants and directs his gaze downwards, noticing how he’s growing harder again even after what had happened earlier.
Pathetic, but not surprising.
“I’m…” Jeongguk drops down to his knees, stares up at Taehyung who’s eagerly waiting for his apology. He undresses his lower half, grabbing the base of Taehyung’s cock with confidence, and doesn’t miss the hitch of his breath when Jeongguk blows softly on the leaking tip.
“So…” Jeongguk continues, and finally puckers his lips and kisses the tip gently. He looks back up after leaning away and grins evilly. “Not fucking sorry.”
Jeongguk gets back up. “Goodnight.”
Taehyung doesn’t even get to lash out, Jeongguk out of his sight before he can fully process what just happened.
Victory tastes so sweet.
Jeongguk nibbles his teeth against the inside of his cheek as he walks towards the front door.
When the door unlocks, he doesn’t expect to see Ryu standing there with crossed arms and an annoyed frown decorating his face.
“Uh… Hi?”
Jimin's eyes have been glued to the tv screen, only now they lock onto Jeongguk as he greets him with a, “Hey.”
“Where the fuck have you been?”
Yeah, Ryu is pissed . His anger is so strong it permeates the air in the apartment.
“I took a detour.”
“A detour? With a numb, frozen toe? Don’t bullshit me, Jeongguk. Where were you? I was worried sick not seeing you when we got back.”
Jeongguk feels bad for lying, he always does but especially when he’s caught doing it.
“I’m sorry, Ryu.”
“I’m gonna head out, see you around Jeongguk.” Jimin says as he grabs his jacket and walks out, Ryu not once removing his worried gaze from Jeongguk.
“Why are you lying? Did something happen? You can tell me, Jeongguk. You know that right?”
Jeongguk bites his bottom lip. “I know.”
Ryu waits, he waits for Jeongguk to crack, but he never does.
“Kim, he—he caught up with me and we just—” Jeongguk feels a drop of sweat forming on his forehead the longer Ryu stares so intensely at him.
“You just?”
“I don’t know, half the time he just pissed me off. It kind of dragged, I’m sorry. But I’m here, so—”
“So what? You’re hanging out with Kim Taehyung all of a sudden?” Ryu’s harsh tone decreases, curiosity stepping in rather than worry.
“We’re not hanging out. He’s not my friend, Ryu. He’s just—pissy about training and I don’t know, it’s stupid.”
Ryu goes quiet.
“Look, I’m sorry—”
“It’s fine—It’s not my business to begin with in terms of whatever is going on between Taehyung and you. Forget I asked.” He turns back around and leaves, deserting Jeongguk in the middle of the living room.
Jeongguk feels like shit.
“There’s nothing going on.” Jeongguk mumbles to himself, realizing how pathetic he sounds.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jeongguk isn’t dressed warm enough to be standing outside watching Ryu struggle to get his suitcase into the trunk of the cab.
“Do you need help?”
Ryu eyes him from the side. He’s still angry, Jeongguk doesn’t blame him for it.
“M’fine. I don’t need—” He struggles to push, groaning in annoyance. “Your—” Another push yet nothing. It seems the suitcase doesn’t want to budge. “Help—Okay. Fine. Help me out.” Ryu gives up, Jeongguk smiling softly when he moves to stand beside him and gives it the final push that makes it slide in with ease next to Jori’s suitcase.
“There.”
“Thanks,” Ryu mumbles under his breath, tucking his face into the thick scarf wrapped around his neck.
“Ryu, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“It’s… it’s fine,” Ryu brushes him off but Jeongguk is persistent on making it right.
“No, it’s not. I made you worry, and that’s not okay.”
The tip of Ryu’s nose peeks out of the scarf as he finally turns to meet him completely.
“I shouldn’t have pushed either, you’re allowed to keep things to yourself.”
“Yeah, but—yeah. I’m sorry.” Jeongguk apologizes again, and Ryu embraces him in a goodbye hug, the cab honking as a signal.
“You’re good. I’ll see you in a week.”
“Okay, say hi to your mom from me.”
Ryu smiles with his teeth as he gets inside the cab. “I will.”
“Bye Jori, bye Hector!”
“Bye Jeongoo!” They both wave with excitement as the car drives out of the parking lot.
Jeongguk feels his left arm go numb by the time he reaches the apartment, the weather deadlier than ever. He’s shaking even when he wraps himself with the four blankets thrown all over the couch.
It feels weird, the apartment being so quiet.
Jeongguk doesn’t like it.
Around dinner, Jeongguk decides to treat himself and order in. It only ever happens on rare occasions and with the apartment so quiet, it seems fitting.
While waiting for his fried chicken to arrive, Jeongguk cleans up the mess in the living room, some coffee mugs from earlier this morning still on the table along with a plate.
The minute the dishwasher is running, Jeongguk receives a notification that his food has arrived.
Although, it’s weird.
Usually the delivery guy would ring the bell.
That’s odd.
Jeongguk pays no mind to it, instead walking out to his front door to find the space outside of his door empty .
“What the fuck?” Jeongguk looks around, tries to see if it was placed elsewhere, yet nothing.
Thankfully, the delivery app allows you to message in terms of delivery.
from: YUMMY FOODS
Hello! Thank you for using our delivery app and help option!
How may we help you?
to: YUMMY FOODS
My food wasn’t delivered to my address yet it shows on the app that it has.
from: YUMMY FOODS
We’re very sorry to hear that! We will reach out to your delivery person to find the final location.
to: YUMMY FOODS
Thank you.
from: YUMMY FOODS
It seems #78965 has placed your delivery at [address]
Let us know if there are any further problems.
When Jeongguk clicks on the address, his eyes turn red.
Without a second thought, he rushes out towards the elevator and aggressively smashes the button repeatedly until it shows up.
He barely breathes, too riled up by the thought of–
Getting off on the right floor, Jeongguk strides with furious purpose until he’s knocking in full tantrum on the door.
When it finally unlocks, he catches sight of Taehyung with a piece of fried chicken in his mouth.
“That’s my food, dickwad!” Jeongguk tries to rip away the piece of chicken, but Taehyung is apparently faster than him and dodges with precision.
Fucker.
Jeongguk will fuck him up.
“Hey! Calm down! Have you learned nothing?!” Taehyung presses a hand on his chest, Jeongguk disliking the firm pressure.
“Don’t touch me! Give me my food!”
“Now, now…” Taehyung smirks with a half stuffed cheek. “Let’s not step in the way of karma, okay Golden Boy?”
Jeongguk grimaces, moves forward and with success and snags the chicken out of Taehyung’s hand.
“Give me my fucking chicken, Kim.”
“No.”
With a harsh push, Jeongguk flies towards the entryway and Taehyung closes the door right against his nose.
What a great way to start the holidays.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
As Jeongguk adjusts his posture in front of Soohyun’s front door, he debates if it was a good idea to come here in the first place.
It’s harder to ignore the Christmas season as Soohyun’s parents have decorated their whole house and front yard like a Wonderland.
Jeongguk's eyes almost burn from all the bright lights.
Swallowing down the nerves, Jeongguk brings forward his bravery in the palm of his hand and rings the doorbell that chimes a classic Christmas song melody.
Soohyun appears not long after, clad in a Christmas sweater and black pants. He greets Jeongguk with a wide smile, probably not expecting to see the best striker at the traditional party.
“Jeon? Oh wow, come in dude! There are drinks in the kitchen, sweaters if you suddenly feel cold in the closet over there—” He points to a wide closet next to a library.
Jeongguk nods, amazed by the size of Soohyun’s house.
Okay, he was aware that Soohyun’s parents own a huge company and are stinkin’ rich but this.
This is a lot.
“And the rest of us are sitting on the patio!” Soohyun moves aside and Jeongguk catches sight of all of his teammates, cuddled together with blankets and drinks in hand, chatting loudly and laughing over something.
Staring too long makes Jeongguk realize how much guilt has been weighing on his shoulders in not participating sooner and actually building a relationship with them.
But it’s never too late.
“Thanks, Soohyun. Your house is… just—” Jeongguk thinks of every possible word to use, but none seem to fit and Soohyun seems to catch on.
“That’s sweet, Jeongguk. Come on, grab a drink!” He urges, and Jeongguk grabs one of the drinks on a silver platter.
Everyone greets him with excitement when Jeongguk follows Soohyun out on the patio, the air less cold due to the heaters in the corners of the pavilion.
Hoseok is quick to bring Jeongguk down to sit beside him, ruffling his hair in full joy while the rest of the teammates laugh at Jeongguk's pouty expression.
The conversation resumes not long after, Jeongguk sipping silently as Soohyun talks about his girlfriend from Singapore.
“But—long distance is definitely worth it. She’s great, super supportive of me playing soccer.” He explains and Jeongguk finds himself smiling.
“She should come to the match against Ilsan!” Mingyu urges, and Soohyun snickers.
“She’s already coming.”
“Wow.” Hoseok claps, and Soohyun jokingly bows his head as if he’s just won an award for having the best girlfriend.
“Oh, to be in a healthy relationship.” Minho shakes his head in jealousy, Taehyung slapping him on the back of his head.
“Shut up, you literally got laid yesterday.” He exposes, and Minho’s mouth drops in shock.
“Hey! Says the fuckboy!”
“At least I own it.” Taehyung shrugs, and settles his eyes directly on Jeongguk, who hasn’t really noticed his presence until now.
“Who was the lucky one, though?”
Minho goes quiet, mumbling in the palm of his hand, and Yoongi diverts the conversation elsewhere.
“Did you guys notice Coach Lee’s new haircut?”
“What? He got a new haircut?” Namjoon’s eyes bug out in shock as he asks.
Yoongi nods. “Saw him when I left the building. He and Jihoon were talking about the upcoming season and he wasn’t wearing his baseball cap.”
Everyone gasps, not expecting anyone to see the Coach Lee without a baseball cap on.
“You saw… Coach—Coach Lee without his hat on?! That’s like seeing Taehyung without his snapback!” Mingyu butts in, the whole circle laughing afterwards when Taehyung rolls his eyes and adjusts said snapback.
Jeongguk smirks at the reminder that he has in fact seen Taehyung without his snapback, and it seems to slip a bit too far, because then Jimin raises an eyebrow in suspicion.
Quickly, he wipes it off and clears his throat before taking another sip.
Shit.
As the conversation continues, Jeongguk finishes his drink, walking back inside the kitchen to pour another. He’s caught off guard with Namjoon walking past him and talking on the phone.
“Yeah, Jeongguk's here too—Oh, hold on—” Namjoon removes the phone from his ear and grins. “It’s Hector.”
Jeongguk hums, nodding when Namjoon continues walking to disappear inside the huge mansion.
“He’s having fun! Yeah—”
Slumping against the kitchen counter, Jeongguk takes a breather before stepping back out on the patio.
They’re in the middle of talking about past matches, a conversation Jeongguk doesn’t want to miss out on.
“Yo! Jeongguk, remember when you made that goalkeeper cry?” Hoseok reminds him of last year’s match against Tokyo.
Shaking his head, Jeongguk smirks before taking a sip. “Not my fault he kept missin’.”
“And you even went easy on him,” Mingyu points out another fact, Jeongguk's eyes widening as his teammate praises him so openly.
“Nah, but thanks Mingyu.”
It’s hard to truly see it. Jeongguk thinks it’s a curse.
As Kwan brings up a recent horror story from some party, Jeongguk feels his pocket buzz.
Attention still on Kwan, Jeongguk brings out his phone and quickly skims over the message.
from: unknown number
Jeongguk.
Answer me.
It finds its way quickly back in Jeongguk's pocket.
To collect himself, Jeongguk steps back inside for a moment, needing some cold water over his face.
The mansion is overwhelmingly huge, Jeongguk having a hard time finding the bathroom, but succeeding when he goes up the stairs and discovers it to his right.
Locking the door, Jeongguk slumps against it, the wood digging into his back as he heaves a drawn out sigh.
He tries to forget, to ignore the text with cold water, splashing his face with it and watching the droplets drip down his face when he looks up.
The tension is still there, staring at him in bold.
Jeongguk dries his face, and adjusts his hair before walking back out.
When he reaches the patio door, Taehyung is stepping back in and knocks into Jeongguk with half of his shoulder.
“What? You couldn’t have waited ten seconds for me to walk out?” Jeongguk questions as Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance.
“And you couldn’t have waited for me to pass through? Why are you always targeting me? Think you’re special, Jeon?”
“Seriously—”
“Oh shit! Mistletoe!” Soohyun shouts and that’s when Jeongguk looks up, the mistletoe hanging above them in full sight.
“You guys gotta kiss!” Mingyu matches his energy, and Jeongguk's jaw clenches.
There’s no fucking way.
“Yeah, Kim wishes,” Jeongguk bites, stepping out of the doorway, not catching the frown on Taehyung’s expression.
But he’s met with it when Taehyung’s firm hand grasps around his bicep.
“ I wish?” He raises an eyebrow and Jeongguk has a feeling of where this conversation will lead.
“Shut the fuck up,” Jeongguk grits his teeth when he talks back, afraid his teammates will catch on to his nervous expression.
Taehyung bites his lip, reminding Jeongguk of everything and then he moves closer, enough for it to feel warm for a split second between them.
“You’re the one who’s aching for it, Jeon.”
Jeongguk scoffs, removes Taehyung’s grasp around him before spitting back. “You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
As Taehyung stands stunned by the door, Jeongguk takes it as his cue to leave, joining the rest.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The high tempo pop song rings through Jeongguk's earbuds as he warms up on the field.
His hair is pulled back by a hair band, long sleeve shirt clinging to his chest along with his shorts and knee-high protector socks.
Practicing brings a thrill to his system, his blood rushing and pumping loudly when he aims for the corner of the goal.
He pants as he retrieves the soccer ball, pulling a few tricks along before setting back on the penalty mark.
As Jeongguk closes his eyes he pictures the cheers, the anticipation from everyone as they all stand up, awaiting a miracle and when he opens his eyes he runs for it and scores.
The weather is cold but Jeongguk doesn’t feel it, his body burning up with each kick of his legs.
Settling for the last one, Jeongguk misses, the soccer ball hitting the pole of the goal and sending it flying down further behind him.
He groans in irritation, slumping down on the field, the grass stabbing his back as punishment.
He's gotten worse.
It’s because he’s distracted, badly .
Everything is so quiet except for the loud song in his ears and when Jeongguk takes a deep breath he sees it.
A snowflake lands right on the scar on his cheek.
He brings out his palm to feel the rest that join the singular flake, catches them melting as soon as they touch his burning hot skin.
The realization hits Jeongguk that a new season has stepped in and he still hasn’t gotten better.
Fuck.
He needs to do something about it.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Maybe it’s because he’s alone, or maybe it’s because Jeongguk feels lonely for the first time when he decides to go for a drink at a tent in Central Seoul.
The older woman smiles gently at him when he greets her and requests a bottle of soju.
In reality, it’s a bad idea to drink during off-season but Jeongguk wants to drink the loneliness away.
Surprisingly, there are a few others doing the exact same thing.
Mourning alone on Christmas.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if it counts as mourning when he’s running away, but it doesn’t change the fact he feels it, desperately clinging to each shot of the flavored liquor.
The old woman eyes him with a comforting smile, one that’s louder than any word he’s ever heard and Jeongguk suddenly feels bare; too bare for his own liking.
He takes another shot, stares at the street beside him where multiple families walk past, holding hands and chatting to each other with animated excitement over the snow covering Seoul from head to toe.
The sight makes him feel empty, lost as well.
Before his thoughts continue to grow tremendously bad, a buzz erupts loudly on the small table, causing Jeongguk to stare down at his screen and realize he’s received multiple messages.
🍀 Four Clover 🍀
jori
merry christmas guys :))
[image.png]
ryu
merry christmas bud <3
YOUR TREE IS FKN HUGE WHAT!??!?
THATS INSANE
NEXT LEVEL
jori
it’s the states in a nutshell
everything is insane here
i love it.
hector
MERRY CHRISTMAS
I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSS
[image.png]
jori
your mom is adorable 😭
hector
she says hiiiiii
jeongoo
merry christmas
miss u guys
ryu
JEONGGUKIE
MISS U MORE DUDE
hector
MISS UUUUU!!!!!!
jori
it’s great hearing from u 🥺
miss u more jeongoo <3
It’s then Jeongguk realizes that he does have a family.
Notes:
thank you for reading!! from then on forward i am actively writing the chapters and therefore the uploading schedule might take longer than after each week, so please be patient with me :')
for more updates and ktg content, follow me on twt
until next time, lovies !! <3
Chapter 8
Summary:
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
Notes:
if you like listening to music while reading, here is the new year’s party playlist!
🚨 CW FOR THIS CHAPTER (contains slight spoilers) 🚨
-
there's acts of violence between two characters while intoxicated at the end of this chapter, if you feel uncomfortable you're more than welcome to skip. proceed at your own risk.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Okay, wait—Run me through it one more time.”
Hector sighs loudly, staring down at Ryu’s hand that’s planted on his chest in utmost protest of stepping further inside the house. He’s nervous. Jeongguk can tell with the way his mouth slightly trembles, and not because of the cold.
Naturally, Hector grabs Ryu’s hand and squeezes it as he locks eyes with him. “His name is Jackson Wang, we know each other from high school, and now he’s back in Korea and invited us to the New Year’s party he throws each year, which is—insane and—”
“Is he hot?”
The nerves are all over the place, Jeongguk barely flinches at the question, yet Hector seems a bit taken back. Meanwhile, Jori is too busy snickering when Ryu’s gaze is in full serious mode.
“Ryu.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry—go ahead. Ring the bell. I’m ready.” He sucks in a breath and then Hector leans over and presses the button.
As they wait in silence, the music from inside the house thrums so loudly they can feel it buzz in their feet.
Jeongguk feels the wine slowly hit his head the more they stand in the cold. It’s gotten to his face, making it hot and warm despite the freezing air biting his cheeks.
Not long after, the door swings open, and a guy wearing a beanie on his head shines with a full smile on his lips when he catches on to who’s standing on the staircase.
Something about his overall aura gives Jeongguk the feeling that Hector was absolutely right.
This night is going to be like no other.
“Hecky!”
Shit. Last time Jeongguk heard Hector being called Hecky was when he met his mother when she was visiting Korea last year. It seems to be an old nickname from back home, one that seems to stick to those who knew him before he moved to Seoul.
He engulfs him in a hug, shaking him with a firm grip around his biceps before he takes a look to acknowledge the following company.
“Hey, glad you guys could come! I’m Jackson!”
“Hey.” Jeongguk nods when they catch a quick eye contact and then they step inside, one by one.
“Uh—so, the kitchen is on the right, bathrooms are upstairs along with bedrooms but most of them are occupied—” He pauses, lowering his voice with a grin before continuing. “As always.”
Ryu raises an eyebrow in interest. “You’re saying…”
“Oh yeah—tons of it. It’s New Year’s! I’m not holding people back from having a shit ton of fun.”
Fuck.
Jeongguk feels the gap between his fingers turn sticky. He doesn’t know why. But everything feels…hotter.
Sweat-worthy hot.
Met with silence from Ryu—who’s still processing, Jackson continues with grounded confidence. “Outside there’s beer pong going on—some are doing tournaments, other’s just rollin’ with it. There’s also card games filled with drinking dares.”
Jeongguk tries to steal a glance on the patio, barely catching anything with the crowded front he’s met with. He feels like he’s stepped inside a venue, waiting for some hot pop icon to show up on stage.
The heat becomes almost unbearable and he hasn’t even been here for two whole minutes.
“And the DJ—Smoke, one of my Uni friends is in the living room. If you wanna request any song, just pull him aside, he’s chill,” Jackson explains as they walk further inside towards the wardrobe to the left.
“You guys can just leave your stuff in here. There should be a few coat hangers left.”
Jeongguk is quick to remove his jacket, feeling it suffocate his skin rather than protect him like earlier. Already pulling off the scarf around his neck, Jori looks around to find somewhere to hang his leather jacket with fur.
After getting rid of it, Jeongguk steals a glance and sees Hector’s nape occupied by Jackson’s hand as they talk in Cantonese about God knows what. From the looks of it, it seems to be a reminiscence of earlier memories from back home and the glow on Hector’s face is hard to miss.
Jeongguk loves seeing him like this.
“Dude—hold the wine bottle for me.” Ryu hands it over as Jeongguk takes a hold of it, realizing there’s only a few drops left.
“How much did we drink?! I could’ve sworn it was full when we were waiting outside.”
Ryu places his jacket with the rest of the pile as he answers. “You drank like half of it.”
“No way…”
It’s unusual for Jeongguk to drink this much. Usually it’s connected to soccer and training, along with the off-season where your shape tends to go down if you’re not consistent. Drinking is one of the many factors Jeongguk usually avoids, yet…
“It’s fine! It’s New Years! Go crazy!” Ryu shakes him out of guilt and replaces it immediately with excitement, a feeling Jeongguk has yet to feel with the whole party scheme to begin with.
It must be the heat.
It’s definitely the heat.
By instinct, Jeongguk pulls on his simple white t-shirt, feeling it stick to his sweaty abs.
Somehow, being at a party when he could be practicing puts him in a closed off headspace, one that’s hard for people to see, unlike Jori who’s quick to notice by pulling him on the sleeve of his t-shirt.
“You good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jeongguk says loudly in his ear as the song in the background has turned decibels louder.
“Okay.”
Ryu grabs their attention by getting his hand on the wine bottle and chugging the rest incredibly fast. No wonder he gets along with Jimin.
Jori whistles loudly, clearly impressed by their friends' drinking skills.
Moaning in satisfaction, Ryu removes his mouth from the bottle, walking beside Hector and Jackson who begin to move further inside the broad house.
With the size of it, Jeongguk feels like he’s stepped inside an American frat party. Maybe it’s the high ceiling or maybe it’s how cramped everything is.
Something about it is getting Jeongguk dizzy.
This party, it’s nothing like Hoseok’s campus themed parties.
This is bigger, wilder, hotter and filled with people Jeongguk barely knows.
“Your boyfriend and his friends are already here,” Jackson screams in Hector’s ear as they finally step inside the life of the party—the living room crowded to the point furniture easily blends in. Jeongguk can’t see anything properly, only the flickering lights and the vibrations from the song under his skin.
“Where?”
“Kitchen!” Jackson grabs Hector by the arm and then they slither their way towards it, passing the crowd easily when people move aside yet are still completely immersed by the music, heads bobbing violently and bodies moving.
Jeongguk naturally looks around, spotting a few familiar faces from campus. Some of them are from his Psychology class and oddly enough, it’s great seeing them let loose for once when he’s seen them sweat through Mr. Kim’s classes.
Now they’re sweating too, only it's because of the unbearable heat of mass crowds in one fitted space.
Jeongguk’s heat is different, he feels it deeply in his gut and he has an inkling that it’s about a certain someone reaching out.
The air in the kitchen is less heavy, making it a bit easier to breathe. Windows are fully open as people pour different drinks, others already doing body shots of one another. The sight is quite something, the liquor sticky on their skin before a tongue drags on it and swallows most of it.
Jeongguk gapes curiously, Ryu joining in as he whistles slowly.
“No wonder all bedrooms are already occupied.”
“Shut up,” Jeongguk cracks his first laugh for the night, Jori smiling when he catches the joyful action.
Standing by the sink, Namjoon is playing around with Taehyung’s snapback, wearing it as he does a poor, but realistic impression of him. Everyone around them is laughing, mostly Hoseok who’s clapping with both hands and leaning enormously against Taehyung who’s mourning over his own embarrassment.
“Bitches—oh! Hey babe.” He pulls the snapback off instantly and gives it back to Taehyung, not staring at him once as he attacks his boyfriend with a hug and a few neck kisses. Jackson grins from the side and lands in a conversation with both of them.
Taehyung is frowning, brushing a hand over his snapback before putting it back on. It’s then his gaze catches Jeongguk walking closer with Jori and Ryu trailing in front of him.
“Hey guys,” Jori starts off, hugging each of them, Seokjin and Yoongi nowhere to be seen.
Maybe they’re running late.
Jeongguk greets in his own way, by of course, ignoring Taehyung at all costs.
He can’t get distracted.
He won’t fucking allow it.
And Taehyung? Well, he breathes it. Everything about him is distracting, and Jeongguk is painfully aware.
He can see it on him, how he drags his tongue over his bottom lip, wetting it under the fluorescent lights that cascade onto the kitchen from the dance floor.
He can even see it simply by Taehyung’s attire. Tight pants of all things to showcase his fucking bulge , so prominent that if Jeongguk stares long enough he’ll probably be able to trace out which direction he tucked his dick—nope. No. He’s not going there. Absolutely fucking not.
Jeongguk won’t allow this night to be a reason for many to taste the distraction on his tongue just because Taehyung loves playing this current game between them.
One Jeongguk is losing so far.
Everything is a fucking game. Different from the others they’ve had. The last game that ran between them was who could easily avoid the other the longest; Jeongguk won that one easily, his classes on the other end of campus yet now, now it’s sex. Good sex, but Jeongguk would never admit that out loud, and certainly not to Taehyung’s face.
God.
He can already imagine the sly grin he’d wear proudly, probably raise an eyebrow in question and use that teasing tone on him that would work if Jeongguk is horny enough.
He may have played Taehyung well back then, but he’s struggling to withhold this specific one with the way his eyes seem to give it away. How he can’t stop fucking staring at whatever Taehyung’s doing.
And he’s currently chugging the remains in his cup, an unknown liquor that Jeongguk would rather not use his time on guessing. It’s a waste of time really—and again, who the fuck cares ?!
Thankfully, Hoseok guides him to the different liquors, completely unaware of the suffocating tension, and shows Jeongguk the crammed countertop corner. It’s already sticky and wet by the multiple mishaps of people attempting to pour properly while being shitfaced drunk.
Jeongguk avoids touching it, allowing Hoseok to grab the Tequila bottle instead.
“What do you wanna mix it with?”
“Hm, something sweet…”
Hoseok hums as he screws the cap open. “You could do a Tequila Sunrise. The fridge should have some orange juice.”
Naturally, he looks over to where the huge fridge is yet—it’s occupied .
Two people apparently thought that kissing against the fridge was gonna be the best spot in the world.
They’re wrong, and Jeongguk grows irritated.
“It’s fine, just push them aside. They’re too busy with their mouths to even notice they’re being pushed to the counter.”
“Hyung, that’s fucking awkward, I’m not doing that.”
Hoseok raises an eyebrow. “Okay, well then tequila shots it is—“
Jeongguk almost throws up by the idea and decides to bite his tongue. “Ugh—fine. Okay—just.”
He walks over, ignores the moans exchanged between each move of their lips as the girl tugs the guys hair roughly. Jeongguk tries to visibly not show an expression of disgust.
Stealing one more glance towards Hoseok who’s watching it all go down, Jeongguk clears his throat and lightly moves them aside as he reaches for the handle and pulls it open.
To his surprise, Hoseok was right. They’re too immersed in their half dry-humping session to notice the sticky counter being the new spot.
Jeongguk doesn’t take long, grabs the Grenadine and orange juice and quickly closes it, the breathy moans getting to his head.
After great success, Jeongguk sips gently on the newfound drink, Hoseok joining in by making one for himself.
“It’s good to see you relax for once.”
Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises at Hoseok’s comment.
“Oh—um, yeah it’s fun.”
“Fun?! Jeonggukie, this is a Jackson Wang party, okay? The word fun barely cuts it.”
Anxiety pools in Jeongguk’s belly. He washes it away with the sweet taste of his drink instead.
“Right.” The grasp around the cup tightens. “How’ve you been, hyung?”
“I’m good, went back to Gwangju for Christmas break. How was yours?”
“Uh… a lot of fun,” Jeongguk lies, Hoseok not catching on with the way he smiles widely at the response.
“That’s good.”
“What’s that?” Ryu shouts, staring down at Jeongguk’s colorful drink.
“Tequila Sunrise. How drunk are you?”
Ryu blinks slowly, adjusting his posture before answering as if it’ll make it more believable that he’s not so fucking drunk already. “M’not f’kin drunk!”
Jeongguk glances around the group, noticing Jimin pouring clear vodka into everyone’s mouth.
Ah.
That explains it.
“Hyung, hold my drink.” Hoseok obliges, grabs it as Jeongguk shuffles around the kitchen to fetch Ryu some water.
The last thing he wants is for Ryu to have his head down a toilet as the countdown happens.
“Here, drink some water.”
With little restraint, Ryu grabs onto it with both hands, chugging it so quickly that Jeongguk barely manages to blink before the cup is empty.
“Want some more?”
“M’okay.” Ryu leans his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, closing his eyes as everything around them continues to move.
With the looks of it, Ryu’s head must be spinning with the way his neck cranes in every direction—so much Jeongguk has to hold him in place by the nape.
“You need to slow down, okay?”
“Mhm…” He mumbles, Jeongguk’s skin cooling down by the breath of his roommate against his collarbones.
Jori comes back from his little trip to the bathroom, making his own drink next to Jeongguk and Ryu.
“No ‘cause, my dad ate all the kimchi in a whole ass weekend. It was supposed to last a month!” Jori explains further about his Christmas vacation to the States.
“That’s crazy,” Jeongguk comments before someone steps inside the kitchen, dressed nicely with eyes fixated onto Jori, who’s unaware.
“Uh…Hi, sorry—” The person fixes their shirt. “I wasn’t trying to interrupt or anything but—you’re…Jori, right?”
Jori turns around and nearly chokes on his drink, eyes widening before clearing his throat and answering the curious student.
“H-Hi. Yes—That’s me, I’m—yes, Jori that’s my name—what’s uh, what’s yours?”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Jeongguk can’t watch.
“I’m Noa. Nice to meet you. Sorry—it’s just, I remember seeing your art during the first semester and I never got to say how much I loved it.”
Jori’s hand nearly loses a grip around the counter, knees buckling slightly. “Uh—thanks. That’s really sweet.”
Ryu squints an eye open, about to comment on Jori’s obvious infatuation with Noa when Jeongguk clasps a hand over his mouth.
“Let’s go outside, Ryu!”
He winks sneakily at Jori who’s half panicking over being approached first and by someone who’s undeniably hot.
“Am I trippin’ on vodka or did someone just hit on Jori?” Ryu asks when Jeongguk removes his hand.
“You can’t have a trip on vodka, Ryu.”
“Holy shit.” Ryu blinks twice before halting in his steps. “Our baby Jori…”
Jeongguk frowns. “He’s older than you.”
“Our baby… he’s grown so much—” Ryu continues dramatically, even managing a small tear to gather around his eyes.
“Okay, enough dramatics. Let’s play some beer pong.”
The outside is filled, which is surprising in terms of the weather but Jeongguk quickly realizes the heaters all around making it tolerable.
There’s a couch in the corner of the patio, a blunt being passed around between a group of people, all giggling and slouching against one another.
The rest of the patio is filled out by three beer pong tables, crowded with different people; concentration painted on each of their faces before they throw the small ping pong ball that holds too much power over them.
“Jeongguk! Hey! Over here!”
It’s Mina, walking over with a bright smile and a ping pong ball held firmly in her palm.
“Hey, it’s been a while,” Jeongguk greets, hugging her side as she leans against him.
Ryu raises an eyebrow at the close proximity but keeps his mouth shut.
“It has been, yeah. You guys wanna play beer pong? Jongha is winning currently.”
Then, another student—Jongha, Jeongguk guesses—sends a wave, a cheeky victory smile painting his face.
“Yeah, I’m down. Ryu?”
“If you drink for me.”
Jeongguk groans but accepts. He doesn’t want to see Ryu face planted somewhere, also Jeongguk’s alcohol tolerance is much better than his to begin with. It’s only fair.
The beer pong match is different from the others Jeongguk has participated in. This time there’s no one breathing down his neck, no one testing his limits and driving him to complete insanity before even getting a ball in a cup.
It’s bothering Jeongguk how much Taehyung has managed to take over. It didn’t even used to be this way. Usually, Jeongguk would’ve avoided Taehyung like the plague and his brain wouldn't have given him a single thought about his teammate.
But, things are different now, clearly.
This party definitely proves to Jeongguk that things have gotten out of hand with Taehyung and the well known fact that he, well, for starters let it happen and second, allowed it .
He really can’t believe that he’s here now, playing but missing each throw, too occupied by images of Taehyung’s lips, the way his head tilts, neck fully exposed to Jeongguk’s eyes when he’s filled to the brim with pleasure.
No.
Jeongguk, stop.
It’s the alcohol, there’s no other way about it—(blaming it on anything else is easier than staring at the bold truth, which is that Taehyung has managed to carve a sweet, pretty spot in his brain.) Because, truly, why else would Jeongguk ever think about Kim Taehyung? Well, sure, he’s thought of Taehyung before, but that was more in the context of burning his soccer uniform and less about how breathy he sounds when he’s begging Jeongguk.
Shaking himself out of it, Jeongguk throws next, hits a cup immediately that Jongha takes and downs in one go. The foam from the beer clings onto his upper lip and Ryu giggles when he realizes next to him.
They’re almost gone, all thoughts of Kim fucker Taehyung, but then—
Jongha is next. He throws it, precise and quick, and when he misses by an inch he tugs his bottom lip and instantly Jeongguk is brought back to that night, on the field.
Fuck, this is worse than he thought.
He can almost feel the texture beneath his teeth again, feel the plumpness from Taehyung’s lip. How it had been a little wet from his consistent habit of licking his tongue between them. How out of it he had looked after realizing Jeongguk had allowed the close proximity an inch closer than usual.
Filling his mouth with beer doesn’t wash away the feeling, how it so strongly lingers, laid upon his foamy lips.
The heat from earlier returns in an instant. Simmers around his arms and down his spine, tickling it with a trail from a bead of sweat. It continues to burn on the edge of Jeongguk’s tongue, down to his fingertips and the heels of his feet.
The rest of the group are unaware of the forgoing heat that hits Jeongguk stronger than ever, continuing with their game while Jeongguk debates doing something about it.
Some cold water would do him good. On his face, his arms, and the scorching hot nape where his long hair sticks.
When it’s decided, Jeongguk excuses himself and steps back inside the house. It’s almost impossible for him to reach anywhere, the mass of bodies swallowing him whole on the dance floor. The stickiness from the spilled drinks makes it hard for him to step around, feeling trapped as if he were buried in quicksand.
The heat continues to build, his sight overwhelmed by the flashing lights and his ears ring due to the upbeat pop song.
Sweat marks appear through his white t-shirt, his abs making an appearance under the blue-ish light when he lifts his shirt to wipe off the droplets decorating his neck.
He barely takes a step, and then someone grabs him.
Flinching by the sudden contact, Jeongguk is surprised to see Soohyun, shitfaced drunk and blabbering in excitement.
“Jeongguk! Yo, holy shit, you’re here bro! Dude s’no way and—”
He doesn’t catch anymore, Soohyun now shouting out the lyrics to the song yet keeps his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders.
Skin turns hotter the more Jeongguk stays glued to the dance floor, his back completely drenched by sweat, and if it weren’t for Soohyun getting too caught up in his shuffle dance moves, he wouldn’t have moved away and magically found the staircase to the second floor.
It’s less crowded, conversations floating between students, some sound like they’re picking a fight, others having a deep conversation, but Jeongguk barely hears a word when he opens a door thinking it’s the bathroom but—
“Shit—my bad!”
It was a mere glance, not even a second and after shutting the door on the occupied couple, Jeongguk’s eyes widen in realization.
Holy fucking shit.
Carelessly and heavily intoxicated, Jeongguk opens the door again and gasps dramatically.
“You’re kiddin’—you’re—and, and you and what?!”
“Can you not when we’re literally butt naked?!”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, “Like I haven’t seen your ass before Yoongi-hyung.”
It seems to kill the mood, both of them scrambling around to cover up while Jeongguk stands dumbly by the door.
How the fuck could he have been so dense?!
“One word to the group and I'll never talk to you again.”
Feigning offense he puts a hand on his chest, and Jeongguk gasps. “You wouldn’t.”
“You don’t think I will?!”
“Baby, he’s not gonna say anything,” Yoongi says as he fixes his half soaked hair.
Never in the time he’s known Yoongi would Jeongguk expect him to so easily call someone else baby .
Clearing his throat, he proceeds. “Yeah, Jin-hyung, you can trust me.”
Seokjin squints his eyes in suspicion. “Mhm.”
Okay, so maybe that earlier reaction wasn’t exactly the way to go about it, Jeongguk is well aware but he would never speak on behalf of his teammates. It’s not his deal to begin with.
Also, his own situation is way worse than Yoongi and Seokjin doing the deed in full secrecy. With the looks of it, it seems to be more than just blowing their load—okay, no scratch that, Jeongguk doesn’t want to think about that.
Fixating a serious gaze, Jeongguk looks directly at Seokjin. “I swear on Coach Lee’s baseball cap.”
“Fuck you.” Seokjin rolls his eyes, a way to let Jeongguk know that it’s not all bad, on top of that he can be trusted with this secret… thing they have going on. It’s best not to ask.
And well, Jeongguk is drunk, no control over his body and mouth which is why he finds himself saying the following. “So…fishing—was that code word for fucking?”
“Get the fuck out.”
Jeongguk grins and salutes them, leaving them in less panic than earlier because while this is definitely something… Jeongguk’s skin burns so much it starts to itch.
The bathroom door is locked, a recognizable voice screaming from the other side.
“It’s occupied!”
Fucker .
“Kim—for fucks sake! Go fuck somewhere else! I need to piss!” He bangs his knuckles against the door until they ache, doesn’t stop until he hears the magic click and out walks a short brunette whose lipstick is smudged. A clear giveaway that Jeongguk’s words were right. Kim Taehyung was getting busy in the bathroom of all places. It doesn’t even surprise him, a fuckboy gives less of a fuck where, and more so when .
Jeongguk also has no room to talk, seeing as he has been involved in one of his sexcapades in a party bathroom.
The memory suddenly turns bitter.
Taehyung is no better, his lips stained red, along with his neck painted by kiss prints. His skin looks flushed, eyes dazed and out of it, but not as much as they’ve been when he’s inside of Jeongguk.
“All yours, cockblocker,” Taehyung spits in annoyance, hitting Jeongguk on his damp back as he walks past.
“Whatever, loser.”
Nothing else is exchanged, just a rather long glance. Long enough for Jeongguk to notice the hidden kiss marks by his waistband, shirt barely riding up when Taehyung fixes that godforsaken snapback.
It’s just a sliver of skin, almost nothing, yet Jeongguk finds it harder to breathe than when he was on the dance floor with Soohyun, cramped tight by nameless people around him.
Taehyung dispels the building tension between them by sending him a classic wink, one that sadly works with Jeongguk’s drunken state due to the earlier beer pong match and wine bottle from Ryu’s stash at home.
There’s nothing more, because then Taehyung is pulled by the belt, the brunette clearly pissed by Jeongguk’s interruption, her eyes never reaching him.
“Fuck him, let’s find someplace else,” she comments in a low voice, enough for Jeongguk to hear and even if he didn’t, the frown on Taehyung’s face is a clear giveaway.
Her eyes stay glued on Taehyung, ignoring his appalled expression which soon turns into a mischievous grin and then he’s gone from Jeongguk’s sight and dragged further downstairs where the loud pounding of music continues.
The bathroom door slams loudly in Jeongguk’s ears, forehead now supported against the cold but hard wood.
He gulps a thick clump of spit the minute the door is fully shut.
It seems to come back up, choking him for a second, but then his mind blanks and Jeongguk catches his reflection in the mirror.
The t-shirt is wrinkled, showcasing the pulls he’s experienced throughout the night by his friends dragging him everywhere and his hair is a bit soaked, a reminder of the unbearable heat he’s been trying to fight off.
He looks like the dance floor fucked him till he couldn’t take any more.
Somehow, it’s not easier to breathe in here either. The bathroom stinks of Taehyung’s strong scented perfume mixed with the girl’s floral one.
Whatever, it doesn’t even matter.
Jeongguk leans over the sink, opens the tab and begins to soak in the cold water. It’s refreshing, washing away the scorching heat his body is experiencing.
The sweat marks against his abs are still a bit prominent. It looks like someone spilled a drink on him but could care less, leaving it to Jeongguk to fix.
As the water dries on Jeongguk’s skin, Jori’s voice rings prominently from the other side.
“Jeongoo?! You in there?!”
Not answering, Jeongguk opens the door and sees an expression on his friend's face he hasn’t seen since the first semester.
“Holy shit.”
It’s meant well, yet Jori is probably still on a high from actually talking to someone.
For starters, it is a rare occurrence that Jori is the one to get flirted with. Sure, he’s been on a few dates, all because of Ryu and his 101 guide on how to flirt on dating apps, but other than that, no. Therefore, they were all taken by surprise when Noa had made a move. So much Ryu started shedding tears, and that says something.
“Shut up!” Jori closes the door, Jeongguk grinning from ear to ear in silence, waiting for his friend to confirm his circulating thoughts.
“So…?”
Jori seems panicked, maybe just overwhelmed as he looks around the small bathroom. “I need to sit down.”
He moves around, sits down against the tub, hugging his legs in pure excitement. Jori’s face squishes against his knees, turning towards Jeongguk but remaining silent.
“Come on, Jori. I already know.”
Sometimes his friend needs a push. He’s always been a bit shy when it comes to dating, even crushes as they never really tend to stick for him but this… This feels different.
His roommate freezes. “What—uh, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“You were trying to flirt, clearly. ”
“Trying? What do you mean trying ? That was flirting!” He excuses, toying with his necklace as a habit.
“It—uh, well, okay.” Jeongguk doesn’t want to make it worse, he can see Jori is clearly still trying to wrap his head around whatever just happened so instead of casually throwing a joke in the air, Jeongguk joins him by the tub and waits it out.
“They—uh. They told me my art inspired them.” Jori continues to play with his chain but it doesn’t stop him from speaking. “Told me that it made them want to continue art.”
Jeongguk hums. “That’s a good thing…Right?”
“Hm—it is, yeah. S’jus—didn’t really expect that. I don’t know, I could barely keep it together cause what the fuck?!” A nervous giggle slips and Jeongguk brings a hand forward to cradle the nape of his friend.
“Dude. You already know what I’m going to say but—I’m going to repeat myself.” Jeongguk squeezes Jori’s nape for attention, waiting for their eyes to meet when he speaks. “Someone will absolutely like you for you . Don’t fucking doubt yourself. I’m serious, Jori.”
The concern must drip out of Jeongguk’s gaze because Jori so easily allows his words to stick this time. Hopefully it’s not because he’s drunk and running off a buzz, but because he thinks Jeongguk is right. He absolutely will find someone that will like every part of him.
“Thanks. I believe you. Also, how drunk are you? You never say that shit sober, puppy-eyed and all that as well.”
“Fuck off, let me be nice!” He excuses with a dramatic shrug.
“Okay, okay.”
There’s a beat of silence and then Jori hits Jeongguk’s arm jokingly but with a good force. Despite making art for a living, he’s using his arms for good .
The sore spot grows and Jeongguk winces at the contact.
“Ow! What the fuck?”
“That’s for saying I can’t flirt.”
“But you can’t.”
Jori’s mouth drops in offense. “I can. And even if I couldn’t, you’re no better than me, Jeonggukie.”
At that, Jeongguk straightens his back. “Uh—wait… What?”
“You just stare! That’s all you do! Remember Sira? That really pretty swimmer? The one that left to go pro instead of studying literature?”
Jeongguk blinks yet nods. He does remember her. Of course he does. She was the first to ever catch his eye on campus when the semester started. With her long strands of brown hair, her dashing smile along with her style that was perfectly fitted.
“Prime example of a victim to the Jeon Jeongguk staring game.” Jori points out jokingly, but Jeongguk’s gut turns sideways at the implication.
“Wha—what do you mean I stare ? That’s ridiculous! I can flirt! I’ve been on dates too, plenty! Did they work out? Well…no, but that’s beside the point. The point here is that I, in fact, can flirt. I mean it.”
Jori hums. “Right, but flirting when you’re uninterested in someone isn’t the same as when you’re actually interested and want to talk to them. That’s the difference. You flirt like a champ when it’s someone you have absolutely no interest in! Although Sira… Oh, Sira. She proves my point that you can’t actually flirt for shit.”
“Okay, ouch. Be nice to me, come on.” Jeongguk pouts jokingly and Jori stops talking, only engulfs him into a side hug.
“Where’s Ryu?”
“He’s playing beer pong with Mina and this guy named Jongha. Reminds me that I should go down and finish the game…”
Jori nods, face grazing against the material of Jeongguk’s t-shirt. “I’ll join you.”
“Okay.”
They walk out of the bathroom, thankfully not met with anyone who’s been waiting for the door to open. Jeongguk can still feel the buzz from the wine and the endless cups of beer that he had to chug for himself and Ryu. It explains the wobbling motion in his legs when he steps down the stairs—Jori, thankfully having a hand around his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t embarrass himself by falling down the set of stairs.
The dance floor is still just as wild, a mass of cramped students partying until the big drop at midnight. There’s a huge clock above the DJ booth, reminding everyone what time it is until then and Jeongguk catches the bold letters.
10:45 PM
“Shit—look at that!” Jori points excitedly towards the stripper pole in the corner, two girls occupying it as they giggle and fall in between each other with each swing. Jeongguk shakes his head, his head having a hard time wrapping around the fact there’s a pole at a party.
But then again—it is a Jackson Wang party, and Hoseok had made sure to remind him that it’ll be like no other.
They step back outside, the cold air hitting them square on their heated faces and Jori instantly runs towards Ryu who’s slumping against Jongha and laughing loudly.
“Shut up! There’s—there’s no way!” Ryu manages to say while throwing his head back, Jongha grinning along with him as Mina runs around the patio to find the missing beer pong ball.
“Ryu!” Jori throws himself over him, hugging from behind and Ryu is quick to know it’s Jori.
“Hyung—yo! You gotta hear what Jongha just told me—it’s—it’s the funniest shit ever!” He dims down his laughter when Jongha rolls his eyes but gives in and tells the so-called story that has Ryu losing his composure by too much laughter circulating in the pit of his throat.
“I work as a waiter at this Korean BBQ restaurant near campus and there was this married couple I was serving. We usually divide tables on busy nights, so they had me throughout the night and kept ordering a lot of drinks. But, uh, it was really going well, like they were super nice, understanding too whenever things got a bit too busy but then the woman got up to go to the bathroom and I passed by the table only to be stopped by her husband where he then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go home with them—”
Jori’s mouth drops along with Jeongguk’s—certainly not expecting that. Ryu is already laughing again as if he were to hear it for the first time and with how contagious it is, Jeongguk joins him despite feeling a tinge of discomfort in regards to Jongha being stuck in such an unusual situation.
“Well—uhm—what did you say?” Jori asks curiously.
Jongha rubs a hand over his neck before responding shyly. “I kinda panicked and then proceeded to list what we had on the dessert menu…”
Ryu laughs again, this time so loud that people around them stare. Jeongguk hates eyes, he hates when people look, how they’re so suddenly aware of everything he does and how he stands—so to distract himself from the wandering gazes, he moves over to Mina to finish what they started.
“Did you get any?”
“Just three. Beer pong is really not my thing—or well, my aim actually fucking sucks,” Mina explains when she points across the table to prove her point and well—it looks almost the same, and Jeongguk flashes her a grin.
“My aim gets better when I’m drunk so, trust me, we are gonna win this.”
“Alright—if you say so.” She hands him the sticky ball, Jeongguk tilting his arm to reach a good aim and then he throws, the ball landing directly in the foam.
“Wow, no kidding.” She snickers when Jeongguk proudly shrugs with pride lifting his shoulders.
Across the table, Jeongguk shouts. “Jongha! Drink!”
Everyone turns around, Jongha with a whining expression when he catches the beer he’s supposed to chug but then—Jori surprises everyone by grabbing it and chugging it faster than lighting.
“You didn’t have to do that…” Jongha says, feeling guilty but Jori brushes him off, wiping down his foamed, wet lips.
“Nah it’s okay, I love beer.”
“It’s rare finding some beer lovers, thank fuck you’re standing on my team.”
“My aim is shit though, so I can’t help you in that department but I’d love to drink.”
“Thanks, Jori-ssi.”
“Jori is fine.”
“Okay, thanks Jori!” Jongha exclaims excitedly.
He then steps forward and aims for a cup and Jeongguk stares him down, waiting for him to miss but he doesn’t and as they cheer, Mina takes one for the team and chugs the beer poorly.
“Beer tastes like straight up ass,” she explains when she stacks the cup with the rest.
“Yeah it’s not the most pleasant thing. I prefer sweet drinks over beer any day.”
“Yeah me too. I love wine. Especially white wine.”
“Ryu, and I chugged the wine bottle from his secret stash before even showing up. We’re hands down the most loyal towards wine.”
“Wine hits good. Gives you a good buzz, as well.”
Before she throws the ball, she digs through her back and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Jeongguk watches with a curious gaze, not expecting Mina of all people to be a smoker.
Maybe it’s because of her style, being proper with cute skirts and decorated t-shirts or long sleeves. Maybe it’s because she seems far from the type that has etched in Jeongguk’s brain in terms of a typical smoker. Mina is far from that image.
Jeongguk’s stare doesn’t go unnoticed by Mina, her eyebrows raising in curiosity. “You smoke?” She asks when she brings the cigarette to her lips and puckers over the filter to not let it fall.
“Nah.”
“Ah right, soccer player and all that.” She grins knowingly and Jeongguk only nods. “I only smoke at parties.”
Then she lights it and Jeongguk draws his attention to Jori, Ryu and Jongha on the opposite end of the table in the middle of discussing the worst TV-shows they’ve watched.
“Riverdale has to be the worst American TV-show I’ve watched. I mean—how did we go from murder to a full on singing episode like it’s High School Musical. Also what the fuck is up with the polyamorous twist to these characters and their relationships? They might’ve as well done an orgy instead of ping-ponging between each other.” Ryu rants in frustration and Jongha nods silently, agreeing with his statement.
“Okay, but what about Grey’s Anatomy? That shit should not drag out for endless seasons. Seriously, that plot got lost somewhere. At some point I even forgot they were professional doctors because half of them acted like high schoolers with all that drama circulating them.” Jori adds and the company around him nod in agreement.
“Hey.” She flicks off some ash. “When I’m done with my cigarette, do you wanna go back inside and make a drink? The aftertaste of beer is really getting to me,” Mina offers before taking another drag.
“Yeah, let’s win this and then we can go back inside.”
“Alright.” She continues to play, missing one of the two cups left from the opposite end and Jongha grins in victory.
“Worth a try!”
“Yeah, fuck off!” Mina says in a joking tone as Ryu prepares to send another ball flying.
He doesn’t miss, causing Jeongguk to drink. He already feels drunk enough as it is, his movements less precise than before and more uncontrollable. He halts a bit in his steps when he places the cup down with the rest of the stack, and then Mina offers the ping pong ball.
“Come on, Jeongguk! You got this!”
One more cup and Jeongguk can go back inside to drink something else that doesn’t taste like straight up baking yeast.
He sucks in a breath of fresh air and then he throws it, feeling everything slowing down until the last minute when he thankfully aims directly down. Jongha whines loudly, Ryu joining in the protest and then Mina circles a hand around Jeongguk’s bicep.
“We fucking won!”
“Fuck yeah, we did.”
She squeezes the skin around his arm and Jeongguk doesn’t mind it, her fingers are cold and seem to cool off the tempting heat that infiltrates his skin like pumping blood.
“Should we head back inside? Make a little victory drink?”
“Alright.”
They move alongside each other, Ryu stealing a glance at the close proximity between them but remains silent instead of throwing a classic comment. Jeongguk is grateful—not wanting to cause a scene by a mere touch from someone who’s, now, a friend to him.
It’s just like how Jeongguk left it, cramped students like herring in a barrel. Thank god Jeongguk is not in the middle of it all or he would’ve likely passed out from a heatstroke.
The song playing in the background is an old time banger, one everyone knows which makes them sweat and move like crazy—Jeongguk is grateful that Mina has a hard grip around him, moving him alongside her until they reach the kitchen in one piece.
The kitchen is—as always—occupied by drunk couples making out, others still doing tequila body shots and then Jeongguk catches Jimin and Jackson next to the fridge, giggling between one another and it feels oddly intimate.
By the looks of it, they’re showing each other their tattoos, probably digging through the past in terms of when and why they got them. Jimin’s fingers run across the pattern on Jackson’s bicep, eyes never leaving his and oh—they’re flirting . Jackson moves closer, trying to catch a glimpse at the moon tattoos down Jimin’s spine, a tattoo Jeongguk has seen endless of times in the locker rooms after practice.
Jeongguk doesn’t spare them another glance, finding it inappropriate with how much contact there is between them. On top of that it seems private. Mina is already rummaging through the stash to find some good enough liquor to mix with when Jeongguk steps behind her.
“Anything you don’t want to drink?”
“Uh… vodka.”
“Vodka? That’s specific. Any reason for it?”
Oh, you know just embarrassing the fuck out of myself to the first party on campus because of it.
Jeongguk can’t tell her that, so instead he settles on; “A very long story. Let’s just say, vodka brings out a side of me I don’t wanna face tonight.”
She chuckles but doesn’t pester for more, only nods in understanding. “No vodka it is then. How about tequila?”
“Yeah—uh, I made a Tequila Sunrise earlier with Hobi-hyung. There should still be some orange juice and grenadine in the fridge.”
“Alright.”
He moves around the kitchen, grabs the handle and just as he pushes open, a voice speaks beside him.
“Having a good night?”
It’s Jackson, flushed with a tint of pink around his cheeks and a curved smile. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s shit-faced drunk.
“Yeah, I am.”
Only partly a lie. The heat of his body constantly telling him this is a bad idea—that he should be somewhere else, progressing his soccer skills rather than drowning himself in the nearest liquor he can find. The heat is guilt. There’s no way around it.
It burns, calling out for him to stop but Jeongguk can’t leave now. There’s less than an hour to midnight. He can’t back out. He promised Ryu, Jori and Hector that they would scream alongside each other when the countdown finally happens.
“That’s good.”
“How—uh, how about yourself?”
Jeongguk sucks at talking to new people. It almost feels like a task which makes none of his words seem genuine even though they are, because of course he wants to know if Jackson is having fun at his very own party. It’s just…hard .
“Yeah! Jimin was just telling me about your upcoming match against Ilsan in Spring. Sounds exciting!”
Jackson is making it easier for him, and Jeongguk greatly appreciates it, shoulders dropping around his posture making him appear more relaxed.
“It is.”
“Jeongguk made a goalkeeper cry, too. He’s a beast on the field,” Jimin reminisces, and Jackson raises both eyebrows.
“Shit! What?!”
Jeongguk giggles awkwardly, not liking how the attention is fully on him and especially in terms of soccer. He may have made a goalkeeper cry, but he could’ve at least gotten two more goals in. Only he didn’t because he was weak, slow, and stupid that day which caused him to miss it and—
“You’re cool, Jeongguk.” Jackson smacks a hand on his shoulder blade. “Can’t wait to watch you guys play.”
“You’re staying in Seoul?”
“Yeah, I’m moving back around April.”
“That’s gr—”
A well known song plays in the speaker and then Jimin drags Jackson away and onto the dance floor, Jeongguk stranded by the half open refrigerator door that is starting to beep annoyingly.
Allowing the two to leave, Jeongguk returns to grabbing the orange juice and grenadine at the front of the fridge, bringing them back to the sticky counter. Mina is unaware of his presence, staring at her phone and typing at a very fast pace.
Jeongguk doesn’t mind it, pouring their Tequila Sunrises into existence instead. It’s not as good as Hoseok made them, but they’ll suffice. Fuck, it’s better if you’re able to taste the grenadine more than the tequila. At least the bitterness is nowhere on his tongue and it’s just the sweetness.
“Here, it’s super sweet but at least you can’t taste the tequila.”
Mina doesn’t remove her eyes from the bright screen, only hums and grabs it mindlessly. “Uh huh, thanks.”
Jeongguk wants to ask, but he’s uncertain if it’s a good idea with the way Mina’s eyes shift shamelessly all over her phone.
It gives Jeongguk a moment of absolute calm, leaving him to his own little world of thoughts—thoughts that are deeply uncomfortable because while you can drown yourself in alcohol, you can’t wipe out half of your wandering brain.
“So, uh, you havin’ fun?”
Honestly, it’s better to strike up a simple conversation than stare at the white cabinet in front of him and allow himself to space out on it, regret bitter on his tongue.
“Sorry—I gotta—I’ll catch you later, yeah?” Mina suddenly says, eyes still not leaving her screen. Jeongguk is too drunk to puzzle out her expression.
“Okay—but uh, you good?”
“Uh huh, just—gotta meet someone.”
And then she doesn’t say more, leaving Jeongguk alone yet again in the middle of a sticky, liquor infused kitchen.
“Oka—”
He doesn’t get to finish, Mina making a beeline to step out of the kitchen and back onto the dance floor. Usually he would stop staring by now, focusing on drinking in silence, but for some reason, his gaze doesn’t leave her.
She’s standing by the staircase, looking around before her phone catches her attention once again. A smile curves on her lips, one Jeongguk has seen before. It’s the same she gave him when she had propositioned coffee after he had given her notes from the class she missed in Psychology.
Her fingers run through her damp hair, tugging it upwards and then she walks upstairs, Jeongguk left with no idea about who the fuck she’s meeting.
He goes back to staring at the reddish-orange color of the liquid in his cup, swirling it around before taking a sip and as he looks ahead straight he sees—
“What the fuck.”
It can’t be.
It’s just a coincidence.
It has to be a fucking mere coincidence, or the anger laying in the depths of Jeongguk’s stomach will rise to his throat, and lash out.
He’s just about to start walking, no idea of what to say or do, when he feels a tug on the sleeve of his shirt.
“Jeonggukie! There you are!”
It’s Hector, draped around Namjoon and they’re both fucking drunk out of their minds. By the looks of their hair and attire they probably got busy in one of the occupied bedrooms.
“H—Hey!”
What the fuck. What the fuck.
“Whatcha drinkin’?” Namjoon asks, slurring a bit with the words, but neither Jeongguk nor Hector comment on it. They’re no better than him at this point.
“Uh…” Jeongguk looks back down at his cup. Stares at the drink he had made before a deeply unsettling realization had slammed into him like a freight train. “Tequila Sunrise.”
“Sick!” Namjoon drags out the words, looking around for some more liquor, meanwhile Hector grabs a clean glass from the cabinet to chug some water. Probably a good idea with the looks of his flushed skin.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do, if he should leave the kitchen and go lash out, or if he should stay here, feigning ignorance despite his aching anger begging him not to. It’s an internal battle, two different kinds of Jeongguk floating on each of his shoulders. One is peaceful and caring, tries to keep him grounded to the kitchen, but then—then the other shows up, and it’s the same one who made him say fuck it the first night in the cabin.
The one who caused all this fucking mess to begin with.
Jeongguk shouldn’t listen to that version of himself twice, so he gives into the other one. Stays with both feet glued to the floor because if he makes one move, it’ll make him turn around and walk upstairs.
Don’t fucking do it.
Fine. He won’t.
“Where were you guys?”
“Out front. Hector’s mom called him because he forgot his contact lenses back in Hong Kong,” Namjoon explains simply.
“How can you forget contact lenses of all things?”
“Hey! I was in a hurry to get home or I would’ve missed our annual dinner before New Years.” He pouts before wiping his lips with the back of his hand.
“I mean… you were still late,” Jeongguk says in a joking tone, one Namjoon catches fast and laughs loudly at, ignoring the way his boyfriend’s face screams offended.
“Fuck you, it was three minutes.”
“Besides that, Hector’s mom loves me.” Namjoon winks in victory over making a good impression, and Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.
“Wow, look at you winning over Mrs. Liu.”
“What can I say?”
“Stop, you made her laugh once.”
“Babe, she was planning our wedding, okay? You can’t be serious right now.”
The little banter lightens Jeongguk’s night, or well, the sight he had the joy of becoming a witness to.
“Wouldn’t surprise me if she made a banner with the word ‘Nector’ on it,” Namjoon adds, and Hector slaps his chest lightly.
“Shut the fuck up!”
“Nector?”
“Namjoon and Hector. If you put them together, you get…”
“Nector, oh wow. Wow.” Jeongguk can’t even believe he’s having this conversation, but it’s better to distract himself from the ugly feeling. If he focuses on what he saw, this night will turn itself into another bitter memory. He wouldn’t want that. Besides, he’s had a lot of fun, and a lot to drink. That rarely ever happens.
“Brilliant, right? My little sister came up with it.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “That’s sweet.”
“Where’s Ryu and Jori?” Hector breaks off the conversation, eyes wandering over by the window in curiosity.
“Probably still outside by the beer pong tables.”
“Okay, there’s thirty minutes left until midnight.”
Thirty minutes. Okay. Jeongguk can do this, after the countdown he can leave peacefully, crash on his bed and gouge his eyes out in anger, maybe even punch a pillow to relieve himself.
“Let’s go outside, I’m about to die because of this heat,” Namjoon suggests, Hector and Jeongguk easily agreeing and trailing behind him when he starts walking past the living room.
The numbers taunt Jeongguk now, how they stand so in his face, a living clock edging him on until he can leave. They feel like a cage, rusty bars that keep Jeongguk from breaking free to leave of his own will.
Jori and Ryu are cuddling against each other, Jongha in the middle of explaining an odd situation with a co-worker who’s crushing a bit on him when the rest join in. Thankfully, Jongha doesn’t stop speaking, allowing the rest to tune in by giving a quick replay of his earlier comment.
“Yeah, I don’t know, she’s just been making eyes at me…And that’s basically nothing compared to the kitchen staff that flirt, despite all of them having fucking children at home.”
“The service industry is really like no other.”
“Hey! At least you get free food,” Jori pipes in, and everyone quickly nods, some in jealousy and others in support of his comment.
“Well, yeah but at what cost?!” Jongha fake cries, and Ryu traces a hand on his arm in comfort.
“There, there friend. That job is not going to be forever.”
“You’re right, yeah.”
Namjoon tugs on his jacket, airing it out as his clothes are half drenched from the heat. Jeongguk is no better, looking like he got fucked with the way his clothes are barely keeping it together—his short hair all over the place and he’s sporting a small sprout on the back of his head.
“Hey, Jeongguk.” Jongha squeezes his arm to gain his attention.
“Wassup?”
“Where’s Mina? Didn’t you two go back inside together?”
Jeongguk tries not to visibly clench his jaw when the sight from earlier had left him completely appalled. He’s so busy digesting the anger that Jongha shakes him a bit in impatience.
“So..?”
“She—she’s, uh—”
“Jiminie!” Ryu shouts loudly when Jimin and Jackson step outside, leaning against each other’s bodies.
“There’s ten minutes left to midnight, what the fuck are you guys doing outside?! Let’s go in and fucking kill that dance floor!” Jackson encourages, dragging Hector by the arm, and Namjoon follows swiftly.
Slowly the patio empties out, the group of high students dragging themselves inside, as well as the others who were fully focused on a somewhat beer pong tournament. Jongha forgets all about asking Mina’s whereabouts, pulling Jungkook by the sleeve of his t-shirt to bring him along with the crowd. It’s so stuffy and hot, Jeongguk getting light-headed by so many bodies brushing against him when they push tentatively inside.
Ten minutes.
Ten more fucking minutes.
Jackson keeps the patio door open for fresh air so no one suffocates in the unbearable heat. Jeongguk stands closest to it, his skin aching in need of cool air. It’s then he looks up by the staircase catching Mina quickly running down to join Jongha who’s screaming her name, yet it sounds like a whisper with how much noise there is around them. Her hair is slightly off, strands hanging over her face that hides the pinkish tint around her face. Jeongguk’s stomach turns sour.
“Jeonggukie! Get over here!”
It’s Jori, pulling him into their group where Hector, Namjoon, and Ryu are already dancing in full swing, Jackson and Jimin right behind them, grinding against each other shamelessly. Jeongguk decides this song should let him cool off, his moves should unleash the anger running in his veins and the pounding headache he’s suddenly gained. Fuck. He feels like shit.
There’s no time to care. Jeongguk moves his arms in the air, hips following slowly along while they all scream the lyrics.
“Holy shit! Look!” Ryu screams in their close circle, Jori raising his head and craning his neck in the direction of where their roommate points a direct finger. Jeongguk follows along, but instantly regrets it when he sees him .
What. The. Fuck.
It’s Taehyung, his t-shirt only pulled into one arm, the rest of his tanned body in full exposure as he dances alongside two pretty girls on the stripper pole. His body looks sticky from far away, probably a mix of sweat and liquor from the body shots he took. He moves along the beat, body rolling against the pole before one of the girls boldly starts kissing his neck. He doesn’t do anything to stop it, only brings a hand down to her ass and squeezes a cheek shamelessly for everyone to see. Taehyung’s head is tilted back, probably from the coursing pleasure and of course, of-fucking-course, the snapback stays on, red like a blaring signal in Jeongguk’s fucking face.
Only showcasing his back, Jeongguk pays him no more attention, the anger inside of him only bubbling the more he does. He needs to stay fucking put. Don’t move a fucking muscle, Jeongguk. Don’t fucking—
Taehyung suddenly turns—chest and abs now on display for everyone to see and—and—a new tattoo. It’s right above the waistband of his boxers, on the side of his hip in bold letters and staring Jeongguk down worse than the New Year’s clock.
Without thinking further, Jeongguk reads it.
Lucky you.
Fucking pathetic. Jeongguk has had it, is about to divert his eyes elsewhere, but then Taehyung’s eyes meet his and a grin forms on his lips. It feels like a gotcha moment, one that fully fuels Taehyung’s godforsaken ego that’s already higher than the highest tower ever built. Instead of returning an expression himself, Jeongguk mouths the words loud and clear for Taehyung to read.
Fuck you.
Taehyung winks, doesn’t feel an ounce of shame and Jeongguk has had it. He needs some air. He needs to get the fuck out of here.
Stepping furthest away from the house, Jeongguk finds himself in the backyard, the grass covered in snow. His sneakers turn wet as he walks, along with the bottoms of his baggy jeans. The anger is so hot on him that the cold, frosty air doesn’t do anything, it barely fucking helps when Jeongguk tries to catch his breath again.
Breathe. Just fucking breathe.
1, 2, 3—
“Too much for you, Jeon?”
Instantly he freezes. Jeongguk clenches his jaw as he tries to swallow down the building anger that’s reached above the lower pit of his stomach. It’s almost in his throat, ready to pounce into the air.
“Leave me alone, Kim.”
“You could’ve jus’ asked y’know? Tell me you want me, and—”
God, the ego is talking, biting Jeongguk’s ears off but he remains calm, as best as he can.
Don’t cause a fucking scene.
“I don’t fucking want you. Leave me alone.”
It’s a push. But Taehyung doesn’t even feel the mere nudge.
“Don’t lie now—it’s the best dick you’ve ever had.”
The snow crunches in the silence, Taehyung stepping close enough that Jeongguk can trace out the stance.
“Hm. You’re quiet now, guess it’s because I’m right, huh. Fucking knew it, Golden Boy.” Taehyung steps closer, his hot breath landing on the scorching hot nape of Jeongguk.
It’s not even a touch, but it’s enough for Jeongguk to ask the following. Something he doesn’t even want to know, but the headache keeps pounding over it.
“Did you do it?”
“Hm?”
Closing his eyes, Jeongguk forces himself to turn and face Taehyung so closely. He can do this. Breathe, Jeongguk, breathe.
“Did you fuck her?”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow but then it falls back down and he swipes his tongue over his lips. “Oh, Mina?” He chuckles then, a chuckle that’s venomous. Jeongguk thinks he might gain a stroke if he basks in it. It’s so sour. Evil. And so fucking ignorant. “And what if I did? What is it to you?”
“Don’t fucking play around, Kim. Did you do it?” His voice is about to rise but Jeongguk stops himself. Taehyung doesn’t verbally answer his question, toys with Jeongguk’s emotions instead by settling on a firm, cheeky nod his way.
Everything turns red.
“Fuck you,” he spits the words harshly and almost in Taehyung’s face. It wouldn’t surprise him if a clump of spit landed on his heated cheek. He could care less.
Fuck him. Fuck Kim Taehyung. Fuck him .
“Don’t tell me you’re fucking angry over this.” Taehyung seems confused now, not expecting such a reaction from Jeongguk, but it’s there, and it could not be more real.
“Fuck you, Kim.”
Taehyung scoffs, yet his lips are so wide open it looks like he’s smiling. “You’re kidding right? You can’t get fucking angry at this, Jeon. You rejected her, remember?”
Jeongguk halts in his temper. He did. He knows he did. But this is far from okay.
“I—” He’s so angry he can barely form it into words, the urge to leave stronger than ever.
Fuck New Year’s. Fuck this party.
Taehyung is ignorant to his fury, doesn’t care, and continues to scrape at that one, well-hidden scab inside of Jeongguk. “You rejected her because you’re oh-so busy with soccer and your good-for-nothing tricks that get you nowhere.”
It stings now. The corner of Jeongguk’s eyes sting, but he pulls it together and jabs back. It’s all he can do now. Talk shit.
“Yeah? Well at least I don’t use my time on fucking . Seriously, are you ever going to grow up?!”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, Jeongguk’s words failing at hitting him deep. He’s winning the game again, this on-and-off game that Jeongguk is haunted by. He’s losing. He can’t lose this. He won’t allow it.
“I’m just having fun! Ever heard of that? God, seriously, why does everything have to be so serious with you?”
He wants to shout the actual reason, make Taehyung taste the harsh truth, but he doesn’t. He’s ashamed, and the last person who needs to see that is Kim Taehyung of all people.
“Mina is my friend.” Jeongguk brings it back up, and Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly.
“So?”
Jeongguk wants to laugh. He doesn’t, instead he settles on a simple; “Wow. Okay.” He doesn’t even want to discuss this, it seems pointless. Taehyung doesn’t even seem to care .
Taehyung studies his expression as Jeongguk stays silent, trying to tame his emotions which are rolling within him like a pot about to boil over. When Taehyung catches the appalled expression on Jeongguk’s face, he smirks.
“Okay. I get it now. Is it because it wasn’t you? Hm? Because if that’s the case, you could’ve just come up to me and asked instead of doing all th—”
“Not everything is about sex.”
The tamed anger brings out a softer perplexity of Jeongguk. One Taehyung decides to toy with, along with the fuckboy-ish charm and tendencies.
He’s much closer now, their wet sneakers squeaking against each other, and then he speaks, so discreet and low. “Oh, but Jeon, it always is.”
Taehyung stares dumbly at him, and everything comes crashing down on Jeongguk. The sexcapade during the cabin trip, the hookups that continued when they came back to campus, and the revelation that sex—especially with Taehyung—has never brought him anything good. It has only ever distracted him, transforming him into a full blown mess. It has only ever made things worse.
Jeongguk blames it on that, because this revelation is the last thing he needs for his anger to fully come to the surface and sit prettily on his tongue, waiting to be showcased in the spotlight.
“Yeah, for you it is.” It starts tingling, the rage finally unleashes and molds into clumps of spit in Jeongguk’s mouth. He spits them without a single stutter. “Wouldn’t even surprise me if you fucked so much to the point your family feels neglected.”
It goes quiet between them. The loud booming from the house still stronger than ever, and then the countdown happens. Everyone shouts each number but Jeongguk barely hears them, only watches Taehyung’s face contort into something indescribable.
He’s going to walk away. Jeongguk knows he is.
“Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Ha—”
The shouts of the crowd don’t reach Jeongguk anymore because then he feels it, the hard knuckles of Taehyung’s hand right on his cheek. He barely feels it, face completely numb from the cold weather. Blinking down onto the snow, Jeongguk looks back up at Taehyung who’s panting, not saying a word and then—Jeongguk doesn’t hold his anger back any longer.
He punches him back, hard enough for Taehyung to trip on his feet, the motion in his legs wobbling for a split second.
Everything is just red. The snow too, no longer white, but a darkish red, like a pool of blood. Taehyung throws another punch, doesn’t miss and Jeongguk’s pounding headache turns worse when he lands flat down onto the wet snow. He’s drenched from head to toe, and if it weren’t for the trance he’s currently in, he’d fake cry in complaint.
Taehyung’s body is on him, arm rearing back, but this time, he misses, and his knuckles crack when they meet the cold ground. Jeongguk takes his chance to give him one back, and for a second he feels the brush of Taehyung’s soft lips on his numb hand. They both groan in pain, in anger, in a whirlwind of emotions, and they don’t ever stop.
Everything is a blur. The punches melting into the game.
Jeongguk is not losing it this time.
His wet jeans rub alongside Taehyung’s when he throws a punch to his gut, neck encircled by Taehyung’s well-built arm. He almost chokes but he doesn’t stop. He can hear Taehyung whine in pain beneath him, but he doesn’t give out and neither does Jeongguk.
Somehow, Taehyung manages to switch them again, enough for Jeongguk to roll back onto his back and meet another fist to his face like a good ol’ neighbor. He’s so out of it that nothing hurts currently, only vibrates beneath his skin. Jeongguk harshly pulls Taehyung’s t-shirt, enough for it to rip and pushes him off but he doesn’t budge.
For a split second, Jeongguk catches his own blood on Taehyung’s knuckles before it meets his face again. It starts to hurt now, but Jeongguk isn’t backing out. He simply can’t. With the last force in his body, he shoves Taehyung harshly so that he’s pinned down and then he raises an arm in the air, knuckles tight and ready to hit until he feels a sudden pull on his t-shirt, so sudden that Jeongguk effortlessly gets dragged away from Taehyung and back up on his feet.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
It’s Yoongi, relaxed in his face yet his voice is so loud it rings in Jeongguk’s ears.
Taehyung slowly gets up, roughly brushing off the remains of snow that stuck to his jeans. He spits near Jeongguk, blood now staring at him by the end of his foot. They don’t stop looking at each other as they pant to catch their breaths.
Just as Yoongi is about to shout again when both remain silent, Jeongguk’s phone vibrates loudly in his pocket. He pulls it out, and stares down at the latest message.
from: unknown number
I’m in Seoul
Notes:
how we feelin' :DDDDDDDDDDD
for more teasers and ktg updates, follow me on my twt/x
see you soon for another update!! thank you for your patience:]
Chapter 9
Summary:
*ktg!jk trying to run away from shit*
*shit catching up with him*
ktg!jk: well fuck me i guess :D
Notes:
MY LOVIES I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had to finish other projects to put my all on ktg. :')) i hope this chapter made the wait worth it, shit's gettin real. ILYILYILY ❤️ again, as always, thank you gray for beta reading each and every chapter and making sure they're tweaked to perfection. what would i do without uuuuuu!!!!
alright, lets roll bitches :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk doesn’t know why but he starts running.
Yoongi’s displeased shouts turn vacant the further he’s away, sneakers scrunching into the snow with his rapid steps. He’s still drunk, mind half dizzy, and his body is aching.
Everything hurts.
His hands, his face, his legs.
But he doesn’t stop. Keeps running until he’s reached the main streets of Seoul, fireworks erupting above him, ringing loudly in his ears. Nobody notices him, passerby’s too busy staring upwards at the multicolored show.
It’s crowded, but it doesn’t slow the pace in his feet.
There’s no pattern for him to run, but Jeongguk finds himself running to his apartment complex.
Clouds of white smoke fall from his lips when he catches his breath by a street light.
A family stands beside him, two younger girls dressed in the same red puffy jackets with their parents on each side, and somehow, the view makes Jeongguk feel sick.
At first, Jeongguk doesn’t know why he started to run, but slowly he comes to realize why.
He’s afraid.
The light turns green, Jeongguk almost missing it with the way his eyes dare to leave the peaceful family, but the beeping noise manages to drown out their laughter, and then his legs pick up the earlier pace.
Anger is still boiling all over Jeongguk, the temperature of his body incredibly warm which causes him to never realize how he’s running in just a t-shirt in freezing, cold weather. It’s not until he’s nearing his apartment that it catches on, scraping his skin with claws, and biting him with sharp teeth.
The cold hits almost all of him, leaving out the side of his face where Taehyung hadn’t hesitated to get his fist on. There’s probably a bruise, even on his lip with the way his nose catches the scent of dried blood when he’s inhaling the fresh air around him. He can’t feel it, doesn’t even dare to get his bruised knuckles near his lip that’s probably cut open.
As the apartment complex comes into view, Jeongguk hugs himself as he steps inside, pressing the elevator button. Usually, it would be quiet as of now, but fireworks are everywhere, and some windows are open, the cheerful shouts of people booming through the walls.
Jeongguk wants to bury himself whole beneath his duvet. Forget about what he saw, what he read, and what he feels.
The elevator music is on for tonight.
On late nights it wouldn’t be, always automatically turned off after 10 PM, but it seems to be a special occasion with New Year’s.
Shit.
It’s New Year’s.
It’s been a fucking year.
The door opens smoothly, Jeongguk’s head hangs down, following the step of his feet, unwilling to look up until he’s back in his room. The open hallway is dark, lights from the ceiling sensing movement, and turning on as Jeongguk passes by.
He’s almost home, almost reaches his front door when—
“Jeongguk.”
Eyes fly upwards, and then everything stops.
The coldness stops reaching Jeongguk, the noise from the fireworks too, no longer loud and ringing in the inside of his ears.
Everything is just gone.
Everything except him .
And the thrumping anger from earlier. It comes right back up in his throat, gurgling, clawing at the roof of his mouth, begging to be unleashed. Jeongguk tries to keep it locked within his gums, really fucking tries with how much he’s biting down his lips.
He tries not to stare too much, but it’s hard when the man in front of him looks nothing like he remembers. His hair is slicked back with tons of gel, the scent almost suffocating Jeongguk. He’s wearing a fucking suit, one that probably costs more than half of his rent with the way it’s so neat , the collar well folded around his neck yet it looks like it’s strangling him. Both of his hands are tucked into the pockets of his long, knitted coat that almost reaches his ankles.
Jeongguk feels fucking sick.
Too much is seen, too much is exposed, revealed and Jeongguk doesn’t know if he wants to run again or scream.
He never ends up deciding because then he speaks again.
“What happened?” He tries to step closer, fingers itching to touch the prominent bruises painted by Taehyung, but Jeongguk steps back once more. The man brings his hand down in defeat, stares at him with a guilt-ridden gaze. God, it’s so much guilt that Jeongguk tears his eyes from him.
“Stop. Just stop.” It’s a warning, a warning before the anger brings the worst out in him yet again, and internally he prays it doesn’t show up. His body is drenched in exhaustion, mind still half dizzy from the intoxication. He can’t get angry again, really he–
“I’m worried.”
That’s it.
“What are you doing here?! How do you know where I live? How fucking dare you?!” Jeongguk steps closer, puffing his chest out, spit falling from his lips as he shouts harshly, nobody in the neighborhood paying attention to it due to the fireworks canceling out exterior noise.
“Jeongguk—listen—”
“No! Stop! Jus—just—” He points a harsh finger, the man following it, his eyes trailing down to his chest where Jeongguk’s finger barely presses onto the white pressed shirt. The man sighs, stares at Jeongguk again with that same guilt-ridden gaze.
“Leave,” Jeongguk whispers, words so strung and exhausted from earlier. Jeongguk is done. He can’t anymore.
“I just want to talk.”
“Leave.”
“Jeongguk.”
“Leave. Don’t ever show your face here again.” He’s more persistent, and it seems to help because then the man in front of him starts moving towards the stairs.
“He’s worried.”
The harsh expression on Jeongguk’s face falters at the mention of—
“Dad is worried, okay? You didn’t show up for Christmas and—”
Lies. Bullshit. Fucking lies.
“Stop talking!” Jeongguk grits his teeth, tries to breathe but it’s ragged and it hurts his chest. He’s getting distracted. There’s still so much unresolved. How is he here? How does he know where Jeongguk lives?
Fuck. Fuck Jeongguk is getting a headache. It’s pulsing, beating the front and sides of his head, punishing him for his earlier actions, and now this.
What a great start of the year!
“Fuck.” Jeongguk holds his head upright, and feels as if it’ll fall off if he doesn’t grip it tightly.
“Jeongguk.”
His fingers roll deeper against his temples, as if it’ll help the pain he feels so strongly everywhere.
“I just want to talk. Please—I haven’t heard from you in a fucking year and now you’re beaten up! Just—fuck, I’m worried.” He moves closer, doesn’t touch Jeongguk directly but makes his presence known. And that’s more than enough for Jeongguk to snap again.
“You have no fucking right! Leave, forget where I live and just—get away from me.”
Wide eyes stare back at him, and Jeongguk wonders why until he feels the wetness painting his cheeks.
Shit.
“Please. Jeongguk—please . I’m worried sick.” The tone is softer, less filled with rage like the previous statement, but it doesn’t change Jeongguk’s state. He’s still overwhelmed with anger that he’s fucking shaking with it.
“I—I c—can’t.” Jeongguk shakes his head, he doesn’t move, neither of them do.
“Just once. Talk to me once, and I’ll leave you alone.” Desperation is filling every word, almost leaking everywhere, and Jeongguk tries to breathe again. It still hurts just as much, aching with every movement of his chest, the air too cold when he finally gets ahold of it.
Everything hurts.
He wants it to end.
And while running away again is tempting, Jeongguk knows it’s a dead end. So instead, he tugs his hair, stares at the ground, and slowly finds himself nodding.
“Okay…”
“Okay?”
“Mhm.”
That’s all he needs to hear, because then he’s disappearing further down the stairs and Jeongguk can finally breathe properly.
Shit.
What a fucking disaster.
The fireworks become loud again, catching Jeongguk’s interest with the beautiful multicolored glow for a second.
The apartment is quiet when Jeongguk steps inside, immediately wrapped by the warmth. He walks further in, digs through his closet to find a hoodie, the clacking of his teeth not stopping.
With the oversized hoodie now on him, Jeongguk brings out the small kit he has in his closet, in case of emergencies. It has everything you need, from ointment cream to bandages in different sizes.
Jeongguk bought it when he easily got his knees scraped up during late night training. But he’s never once used it on his face.
The bathroom’s vibrant colors trigger his headache, Jeongguk hurrying up to get it done but then he catches his reflection in the mirror and his heart drops down to his stomach.
He looks awful, eyebrow swollen, cheekbone too and a busted lip.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what’s worse, his face and the thought behind the healing process or the fact that it clarifies that Taehyung won .
He feels sick to his stomach.
Instead of digging deeper into pure misery, he dabs a q-tip on his split open lip with the ointment. It stings for a bit, Jeongguk wincing at the intensity but then it smoothes out, adding a layer of comfort.
Jeongguk wishes he could get Taehyung out of his head, although it makes it hard with the painted reminder on his face.
Fucking great.
Before bed Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung feels haunted by the reminder as well whenever he looks at himself.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Murmurs stir Jeongguk awake. It’s coming from outside his door, soft voices and one harsh whisper accumulating, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess who’s hiding behind it.
There’s no movement, at least not until Jeongguk cracks one eye open, and Ryu pushes the door open, Hector and Jori standing behind him with guilt induced eyes.
“Hm…what?” Jeongguk mumbles sleepily, his face aching even worse than yesterday.
Ryu rushes over to his bed, Jori and Hector carefully following his steps, uncertain if it’s too soon.
“You fucking idiot! You scared me! Why didn’t you pick up your phone?!” He’s yelling in a harsh whisper, still respectful over waking up Jeongguk at God knows what time. But it doesn’t remove the fact he’s been worried sick over Jeongguk’s sudden disappearance after midnight.
Guilt wraps itself tight around Jeongguk’s throat. He had been so angry, so out of it that it caused him to be selfish. And the selfishness has now caused immense worry in all three of his roommates. Jeongguk doesn’t even want to imagine what went down after he left, but he has no choice but to expose himself to it.
“I’m…I’m sorry.” Jeongguk means it, he really does and Jori seems to catch it first, stepping close enough his shoulder brushes against Ryu’s before he runs a hand through Jeongguk’s hair.
“What happened?”
Jeongguk winces when Jori’s finger traces his swollen cheekbone.
“Uh…”
Taehyung. Kim fucking Taehyung is what happened. Jeongguk hates that he has to speak of him, making him so important to his roommates.
“Taehyung…right?” Hector cuts in, saving Jeongguk without knowing.
Nodding his head, Ryu sighs loudly, sitting down beside Jeongguk on the edge of his bed. “You okay?”
“Eh—I’ll be fine.”
Truth be told, Jeongguk doesn’t know what he feels as of now. The only thing he’s able to feel is the aching, beating pain on his face. The anger had managed to crawl back beneath the surface when he went to bed.
“You wanna sleep some more?” Ryu asks, now staring directly at Jeongguk rather than his carpet.
“What time is it?”
“Like… nine? I don’t know, we got home an hour ago, and honestly I might still be a little drunk,” Ryu explains, Jeongguk chuckling when he catches the hazy eyes from his roommate.
“That’s insane.”
“Well, it is a Jackson Wang party. He’s known for that,” Hector says with a sly grin.
“Hm—you guys should go to bed, I think I’m gonna make some coffee.” Jeongguk gets up slowly, his face more exposed now due to the light coming from the hallway. Ryu grimaces when he catches onto the small cut around his swollen cheekbone, along with his bruised lip.
“Dude, s’fine.” Jeongguk brushes him off with a waving hand.
“I’m actually not tired yet, should we watch Single’s Inferno?” Ryu suggests, and everyone nods their heads, except Jeongguk who’s shaking his, in absolute astonishment over his roommate's capability of being awake for longer than needed.
“Let’s go!” Ryu and Jori are the first ones to move towards the living room, Hector hanging behind to wait for Jeongguk.
As Jeongguk is up and walking, Hector grabs him by the bicep, sneaking glances towards the living room before looking Jeongguk dead in the eyes.
“Listen—I didn’t want to say this to you while Jori and Ryu were there but…Namjoon and—” He stops to look sideways, avoiding Jeongguk’s upcoming reaction to his next choice of words. “They’re pissed at you, and Taehyung as well, but mostly you.”
“What? That’s fucking bullshit, Hector, he started it!” Jeongguk angrily whispers, trying not to catch the attention of the two others who are already scrolling on Netflix.
“They know.” Hector shakes his head, almost not believing his own words when he says the following. “He looks bad, Guk. Real fucking bad.”
Jeongguk blinks, not having time to respond before Ryu shouts at them in impatience. Hector gives him one last look, one that neither screams worry nor guilt, but sadness .
While they all settle onto the couch, Jeongguk tries not to let his joy show over the fact that he actually won this round, and big. Real, fucking big.
It might've been a win, but it brought a cost. A cold more specifically. Jeongguk didn’t feel it coming until later that day, throat clogging up and the need to sneeze higher than ever.
Usually, when Jeongguk is sick he doesn’t worry too much. He continues to do what he has to do, but this cold managed to really beat him down. He can barely move, nose is so clogged and stuffy that he can’t breathe properly, and his throat keeps drying up despite him chugging tea during the day.
Thankfully, Jori calls his mom and asks her about a soup recipe that cures a cold instantly. Jeongguk is grateful when he catches a glimpse of Jori, Ryu and Hector finding their way around the kitchen on his way to the bathroom. There’s a mess around them, peeled potatoes on the kitchen island, next to other vegetables, along with the kettle whistling loudly.
They’re playing music at full volume, Ryu the only one able to focus on singing each lyric while stirring a spoon in the pot. Jori is too busy measuring how much water it needs, and Hector is cutting vegetables.
Jeongguk wants to hang around, but a cold can quickly be transmitted and Ryu had made sure to scold him about moving around too much, needing absolute rest to be back up on his feet for next week when classes start back.
So, therefore, during the past two days, Jeongguk has been on bed rest except for his bathroom runs during the day.
He doesn’t tell his roommates how much he hates it. How his guilt builds in his gut for each day that passes where he doesn’t move, doesn’t go out to the field to practice, and improves his skills.
Being sick makes him feel stuck.
Luckily, the soup from Jori’s mother cures his cold, and for the first time in a few nights, Jeongguk is able to breathe through his nose again.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Red Devils™️
soohyun
[video]
come through 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
mingyu
ew i look constipated
jimin
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
hoseok
it’s my cheat day 🤩🤩🤩🤩
taehyung
can’t
jeongguk
i'm down
soohyun
💯💯💯💯
The speakers from the inside of the gym boom loudly while Jeongguk takes off his puffy jacket, and removes his beanie. The stench of sweat. and a mix of powerful deodorant, and perfume is hard to miss, overwhelming Jeongguk’s sense of smell. It’s one of the few things he absolutely despises about the training center at their University. On a positive note, Jeongguk doesn’t have to pay to maintain his shape for the upcoming season.
Shirt off, Jeongguk digs through his bag, in search of his compression shirt and training shorts. A few guys step inside the changing room, all laughing loudly and smelling like three hours of a solid workout.
It’s only when Jeongguk is fully dressed about to step in, that he spots Jongha stripping himself from his tank top.
Talking isn’t hard for Jeongguk but it doesn’t come easily either. Mostly, if he feels like he has input to something or remembers a detail, he’ll bring it up. If he has neither, well, he’ll ignore the situation; which is what he decides to do after spotting Jongha getting dressed. Especially since everything that happened at New Year’s is still an open cut.
And well, also the huge factor is that Jongha is close to Mina. He probably knows. About her getting lucky with Taehyung, and the fight that broke out in the backyard. A weird mix of guilt and embarrassment creeps up from his spine, sending chills further down his arms. He can’t talk to Jongha.
“Jeongguk? Shit—it’s you! How’s it going, man?”
Shit. Shit. Fucking fuck shit.
Jeongguk turns around, facing his demons and smiles awkwardly. Jongha doesn’t seem to catch on. Although his lip twitches when he notices what’s currently decorating Jeongguk’s face.
“You good?”
“Yeah! Yeah I’m fine, this is just–” Jeongguk points directly at it, trying to make what he says next sound convincing enough that he is indeed fine. “It’s nothing—barely hurts. Don’t worry about it!”
“Are you sur—”
“How’s—How’s everything with you? All good?” Jeongguk internally winces over his interruption, but he can’t bear more curiosity over his business with Taehyung. Especially not on campus grounds.
Jongha is quick to nod his head, smiling from ear to ear which Jeongguk takes as a good sign. He escaped, for now.
“Yeah, I mean—Mina got super drunk at the party so I had to carry her home, but besides that the party was great. I also got to visit my parents the day after, and got some training done. And, I’m working at the restaurant tonight—oh shit that reminds me! I promised Ryu that you guys are always welcome to come and get free beers. It’s on me.”
“That’s really nice of you, Jongha. Thanks. I’ll—uh talk to the guys when I get home later.” Jeongguk tries his hardest to ignore the detail about Mina, her name bringing such an undeniable anger to the surface, more specifically the one Taehyung’s face got a taste of.
“You do that. I’ll see you around, Jeongguk.”
“Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk waves as he walks towards the entrance to the gym. It’s not as filled as it usually is by this hour. Soohyun and Mingyu are easy to spot, taking turns in weightlifting.
As he walks over, he prays internally that neither speak of it, but the chances are low. Jeongguk knows. The word travels fast among the Red Devils, and that is something each teammate knows well.
So, when Jeongguk walks over, and neither Mingyu nor Soohyun say something, he’s heavily surprised.
Mingyu finishes his last rep, Soohyun giving him a hand in putting the weight bar back in place. Jeongguk figures now’s the time to make his presence known. He places down his water bottle before greeting them gently.
“Hey, Jeongguk. How’s—” Soohyun pauses, glances over his face before softening his gaze. “How’s your break?”
That’s it?
“Good—well better. I was sick for a few days, but I’m better now. How about you?”
“Visited my girlfriend for a few days, got home yesterday, and I’m so fucking behind on training. Coach is gonna kill me—”
“At least you got some cardio in,” Mingyu butts in, grinning evilly when Soohyun’s neck turns red at the implication.
“Fuck off dude!”
“You’re not even denying it—you absolute freak!” Mingyu continues, earning a firm pinch to his bicep from Soohyun, whose expression has turned annoyed.
“Fuck you, you’re making it sound like I’m worse than Taehyung.”
Hearing his name aloud, sends a trembling sensation to the tips of Jeongguk’s fingers. It’s unexpected, and Soohyun seems regretful to say such a thing when he catches sight of the frown etched on Jeongguk’s face.
“Uh—sorry—should we do the treadmill?” He tries to divert it elsewhere, and Mingyu grows quiet all while Jeongguk tries to fix his grimace.
“Sure! Good idea, Soohyun-hyung.”
“Yeah! Let’s do that!” Jeongguk forces out an excitement that doesn’t feel real or genuine, Soohyun catches on pretty quickly but ignores it by draping an arm over his shoulders and guiding him towards the treadmill, while Mingyu walks behind.
Jeongguk is the first one up, pressing on the setting buttons to get it going, ignoring the–now faded–purple color on his knuckles. It doesn’t hurt as much, only when he stretches his finger or wants to crack his joints.
As the treadmill rolls, Jeongguk picks up a pace as Soohyun sets a timer, the same one Coach and Jihoon use on them during practice hours. There’s a tough edge to it, picking up a high pace and falling down to a normal one, all in one go and in a fast blur of time.
Jeongguk never fails—but then again he hasn’t moved since he was sick.
Lungs tighten when he picks up the pace, the treadmill set to a higher number—and instead of regulating his breathing, he struggles and pulls away, resting both feet on the edge of it to prevent hurting himself. Soohyun notices immediately, stopping the timer, and now stares at Jeongguk with a worried gaze.
“Hey, Guk, you good?”
Pressing a palm to his chest, Jeongguk realizes he’s hurting– no aching tightly. It’s like his body prevents him from working normally, putting a halt to his usual skills. But, he shrugs it off, waves a hand in Soohyun’s direction to make him understand he’s fine—when in reality he’s far from it, but he won’t allow anyone to see him like this.
Weak .
He won’t allow anyone to see him weak.
“M’fine. Jus’—uh—” Jeongguk clears his throat. “Jus’ need some water.”
“I got you,” Mingyu says from his left, handing over his water bottle.
“Thanks.”
And then, Jeongguk chugs. He takes long slurps, making his mouth all wet, even his chin when it spills over, his throat having a hard time following through with the pace of his palm pressed against the bottle. A groan leaves his mouth when his head tilts forward, all the water gone.
“Okay. M’good to go.” Jeongguk hopes internally that neither Soohyun or Mingyu saw a glimpse of weakness.
“Okay. Go ahead, Guk.”
Then, he picks up his pace again, concentrating and imagining himself on the field, blazing lights shining down on the grass making the green color much brighter than usual. The crowd bustling with noise, chanting his name when he has the ball in front of him, surpassing blurred faces, their feet unable to catch it from him, and just as he reaches the goal, about to kick, Soohyun brings him out of his imagination.
“Stop.”
Instantly, Jeongguk pulls away, feet supporting the edge again as he shuts down the treadmill before stepping down.
“Good job, Jeongguk.”
“Thanks, Cap.”
Mingyu is the next to step on, and Jeongguk stands to his left, encouraging him when he seems to struggle, face strained and pained.
It goes on for a few hours, and during that time, Jeongguk forgets he looks fucked up on campus grounds.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
from: unknown number
I’ll be at [address] tonight.
Hope you show up.
Instead of giving a response, Jeongguk grabs his running shoes. He needs to move.
Jori is the only one home, taking some time working on his webtoon during the break. Hector is spending time with Namjoon, nowhere to be found, and Ryu is with Jimin and probably Taehyung too. It makes Jeongguk a little nervous, his mind wandering to odd scenarios where Ryu is disappointed with him, or even worse taking sides and standing proudly beside Taehyung.
It makes his palms clammy just thinking about it. He needs to stop thinking.
Running is a great way to stop thinking.
Before leaving, Jeongguk knocks lightly on Jori’s door before opening, catching him by his desk against the window where the sun shines brightly through the frost that’s hanging tightly onto the glass.
“Hey, sorry, I’m heading out for a run. I’ll see you later.”
“Alright, take it easy, Jeongoo,” Jori responds, Jeongguk nodding his way even though he knows he can’t. It’s been too long since he’s moved as much as he usually does, and he needs to catch up.
He can’t ever be behind.
Being behind means you’re being weak , and Jeongguk is far from that.
The Han river is the perfect location for a good run, and usually always occupied with other runners, sometimes even elderly women power walking in small groups.
They seem to be here as well today, gathered in a circle, a younger woman instructing their routine for the day. Jeongguk doesn’t pay them more attention, focusing on his breath along with the speed in his legs.
Breath shortened, Jeongguk picks up a higher pace, arms close to his ribs, hands closed down in fists and music at full blast in his ears.
So highly focused on what’s in front of him, Jeongguk forgets for a moment that he’s running. He feels light, so light he barely feels the front of his feet against the ground. No longer present, Jeongguk forgets everything.
Forgets about him , forgets about Kim Taehyung, forgets about the bruises on his face, the aching pain fading away along with the pressure in his feet.
Jeongguk forgets and for the first time since that night he breathes properly.
from: ryuuuu
can you buy me some chips 🥺
pretty pleaseeeeeee
jori told me youre out
you’re**
but could you? just on your way home :))))
there’s no rush!
to: ryuuuu
okay
fine
but you owe me now:)
i’ll be home in an hour
from: ryuuuu
I LOVE YOU
THANK YOUUUUU
[seen]
Before finding his way back, Jeongguk does a few exercises after finding enough space. Some walk by, glancing curiously for a second as Jeongguk braces both hands above his knees and runs in place, knocking knees into the palm of his hands. The pace is quick, efficient, something Jeongguk takes absolute pride in.
If you’re not quick, opponents in soccer have a higher chance at taking your most prized possession. Jeongguk wants to make sure he’ll be able to carry it out to the goal, giving a clear win to their University.
Ilsan aren’t hard to beat, but they’re good. They challenge everyone, making them sweat before gaining a win and in Jeongguk’s opinion, matches like these are some of the best.
But, you can’t just beat a team like Ilsan without working your ass off for it.
The training by the Han River doesn’t stop until Jeongguk physically feels his heart about to give out, his breath strained when he tries to breathe in, and droplets of sweat fall from his forehead and further down his cheeks. He wipes it down with the bottom of his long sleeve shirt, abs exposed and wet to the cold weather, but with his body unleashing an undeniable heat, he barely feels the frozen bite graze his skin.
Craning his neck in different directions to gain a good stretch, Jeongguk starts running towards the convenience store closest to the Han River.
The neon sign is bright, more prominent now that the sun is setting beneath the horizon, and the streetlights still haven’t lit up.
Jeongguk walks in, finding the chip aisle quickly due to the shop being small. He grabs two bags just in case, mostly to save himself from running down again on behalf of his roommate. Ryu knows he’s unable to say no, but that doesn’t mean Jeongguk doesn’t think ahead, and is quite smart about it.
As the items get scanned, Jeongguk taps his finger against his thigh, trying his hardest to ignore the way the worker seems put off by the bruises on his face. She’s staring with wide eyes, not even hiding it, and Jeongguk wants to bury his face away, but with his sportswear, it’s quite impossible.
“That’ll be 6000 won,” she says, gaze hot on the bruise on Jeongguk’s cheekbone when he pays with his card.
“Thank you.”
Jesus Christ.
Jeongguk steps out with the two bags of chips in his hand, the air-filled plastic making him lose his grip. It isn’t until he’s stepped down the few stairs beside the patio, that one of them falls down, and he curses under his breath.
“Oh—Jeongguk?”
He turns, surprised to see Noa of all people. They’re sitting down on one of the outside patio chairs, wearing the same uniform from the worker inside, and Jeongguk is quick to connect the dots.
“Shit—hey, Noa.” Jeongguk doesn’t know what to do with himself, tugging the short hair by his nape instead.
“You okay…?” They ask gently, not wanting to overstep.
“Yeah, yeah no I’m fine. Just—uh, grabbing chips for Ryu. You remember him, right? Face piercings? Drunk out of his mind…?” Jeongguk reminisces about the night, and it feels weird to bring up the cute, soft moments rather than… that .
“Yeah—Ryu, right.” Noa chuckles, taking a drag of their cigarette.
“Yeah.”
Exhaling a cloud of smoke, Noa cocks their head towards the open chair, signaling for Jeongguk to join them. “You busy?”
“Uh—nah.”
Well, yes, but Jeongguk would rather sit here with Noa than—
“Oh fuck—your face.” Noa winces when Jeongguk is much closer now, the light from the convenience store shining down on the bruised part of his face. Jeongguk sighs. He doesn’t hide it, instead tightening a forced smile to ease down the speculations.
“Kim Taehyung, right?” It surprises Jeongguk, and Noa catches on, waving a hand in the air.
“Figured after seeing him just as I was about to leave. He looks like shit, dude.” Noa brings the cigarette back to their mouth, studying Jeongguk’s reaction to their words.
When it’s nothing but plain, Noa nods their head.
“Ah. Long hatred running?”
Jeongguk scratches his chin. “Uh—yeah, you could say that.”
Wanting to divert the conversation elsewhere, the topic of Kim Taehyung bringing a bad taste in his mouth, Jeongguk prays that Jori doesn’t kill him for what he asks next.
“What’s your deal with Jori?”
“My—my deal?” Noa frowns, on the verge of coughing.
“Sorry—I didn’t mean to—” Jeongguk curses inwardly but then Noa grins, hiding their face a bit.
“I’ve been debating asking him out.”
The honesty slaps Jeongguk hard in the face.
Oh.
Shit. Jeongguk can already picture Jori’s face when he finds out Noa, the same person he’s been freaking out over since they first talked to him, wants to ask him out.
He’s gonna lose it.
“A date? Wow,” Jeongguk answers in bewilderment. He’s not used to such a direct personality. Sure, Ryu is brutally honest but never when it comes to vulnerable, private things.
Noa is surprising. Jeongguk doesn’t hate it.
“Yeah. Should I?”
“Yes!”
The answer is so loud, so quick too and, Noa’s eyes bug out, a loud laugh follows through while Jeongguk hides his face in his hands.
“Okay. Okay, I will. Thanks Jeongguk.” Noa claps him on the shoulder for moral support over the aching embarrassment that has latched onto him.
“Can I ask you something?” Noa says when it grows quiet between them, so quiet they can both hear the small crinkling sound from the tobacco burning down.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“What happened between you and Kim Taehyung?”
Jeongguk groans against his skin before slumping in the metal chair, staring at the sky darken with each passing minute. He can’t really be a dick right now, mostly for Jori’s sake with his clear crush on Noa, and also within the fact that they know nothing .
“Well, he fucking hit me—”
“No—No I mean from the beginning. What happened?” Noa interrupts, and Jeongguk blinks, swallows a thick clump in his throat he didn’t know was there, before going on a hunt for words.
It’s been a while since he talked about what happened, what started everything, and sometimes when Jeongguk is so angry with Taehyung, he forgets why because new reasons always come up to the surface. On rare occasions, Jeongguk has spoken up about the whole thing, but he tries not to—mainly because it brings back the anger he had felt back then. But it always turns ugly, Jeongguk’s behavior that is. He hopes Noa won’t judge him for how he’ll act now.
“It was the first semester.”
Okay that’s a start. Nice and easy.
Noa nods, almost done with their cigarette but doesn't stop Jeongguk from talking.
“And uh, at the tryouts for the Red Devils, he just—”
“Yah! Noa! Break’s over.”
“Shit—sorry, Jeongguk. Gotta run.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “You’re good, I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, see you around.”
Holding the chips now in between his arms, Jeongguk gets back up again, and walks towards home.
The streets are filled with people, all indulging in different activities. Jeongguk catches a pair, clearly on their first date with the way it’s so quiet and awkward, despite small smiles reaching their faces. Others are busying themselves in front of stands, eating tteokbokki and other warm dishes while surviving in the freezing cold weather.
Not long after, the apartment complex comes into view and Jeongguk rushes up the stairs rather than taking the elevator.
Ryu is the only one in the living room when Jeongguk steps inside, removing his running shoes, dirty with small rocks beneath them.
“Jeonggukie!” Ryu shouts excitedly, knowing he has his chips.
Instead of responding, Jeongguk throws them across the room, both bags landing poorly on his roommate's lap.
“My savior. I love you.”
“Love you. I’m heading out again, just gonna shower and change real quick.”
Ryu raises an eyebrow. “Oh? What’re you doing?”
Shit .
“Uh—”
“You don’t have to tell me. Sorry—I was just wondering.”
Jeongguk quickly shakes his head. “I’m—no sorry, uh I’m meeting someone. That’s all.”
The lack of information would usually make Ryu nosy, ask more questions to gain the full answer, but he doesn’t. Instead he nods, opens the bag of chips in front of him and mumbles. “Have fun.”
Fun. Jeongguk wouldn’t exactly call it that, yet still finds himself smiling and nodding. “Yeah, thanks.”
The restaurant isn’t far from home, a good ten minute walk. Jeongguk is wearing his puffy winter jacket along with a thick scarf and a beanie he dug up from the bottom of his closet. It’s still freezing cold, some snow even slightly dropping down onto the pavement when Jeongguk walks slowly to the location.
Part of him is dragging his feet on purpose, another is doing it mindlessly due to the nerves. Fuck. Fuck his nerves. They’re all over the place, mostly in the tips of his fingers, shaking restlessly inside his pockets.
Sucking in his breath doesn’t help the pounding in his chest, it doesn’t stop this knock of anxiety and Jeongguk debates going back home.
But it’s already too late. He’s standing in front of the restaurant, the windows clear, giving him an idea of how many people picked this exact location for their night. Most of them are middle aged or families in small groups.
Then, Jeongguk catches him sitting by the window, head in his hands. He looks panicked, doubtful with the way he bites the ends of his nails in anticipation. He’s clad in the same proper attire, hair slicked back again with a shit ton of gel, and a tie tight around his neck.
Jeongguk doesn’t want to find out how long he’s been sitting there. The thought alone is already leaving a hole in his stomach that allows all of the cold air through.
Gulping down his anxiety, Jeongguk walks inside, the place immediately filling him with warmth, but it only ever reaches his face and hands, and never his heart, or his stomach.
Immediately, he doesn’t waste time. He wants this over with.
Walking directly over to the table, he looks up, the doubtful gaze vanishing just as quick.
“You’re here.”
“Hm.” Jeongguk takes off his beanie, shyly sits down on the wooden chair, creaking to make his presence known and he doesn’t know if he hates or loves it.
“I ordered your favorite. Bulgogi, right?”
Jeongguk is in the middle of zipping his jacket open when he shakes his head. “It’s samgyeopsal now.”
“Ah.”
It grows quiet, not the good kind. Knowing the difference has never been hard for Jeongguk. He feels the weight of the silence a lot heavier when it’s bad. His shoulders ache already, but then the man in front of him breaks it.
“Jeongguk—”
“Here’s your order!” A cheerful waitress comes over, smiling ear to ear as she places down the side dishes and the meat. Jeongguk spots the samgyeopsal, wondering if it’s purely coincidental. Or, maybe it’s his favorite too.
Jeongguk doesn’t want to find out.
“Thank you,” he says kindly, smiling back so easily that it’s hard to define it as genuine or fake.
They don’t speak once more, eating in complete silence. The metal chopsticks cause a melody to float in the air, along with the sizzling from the grease on the grill.
He’s doing it like he’s always done, waits for the meat to be near to burnt before turning it over. For a second Jeongguk wants to imagine they’re not here for this , but simply to catch up. To just be completely normal, like everyone else in this restaurant.
Oh, how he wishes it was that easy.
“Here, eat first.”
“Thanks.”
Chewing on the meat and wrapped salad, Jeongguk decides to look around in the restaurant. He catches smiles, loud laughs, even someone hitting another person on their back while their head is thrown back. Everyone seems so happy .
“Good?”
“Uh… Yeah.” Jeongguk clears his throat, continues to eat the side dishes he can reach, ignoring the scorching hot gaze from him .
“So…” He starts off to gain Jeongguk’s definite attention. It works, his mouth slowing down on the chewing as he raises both eyebrows, waiting achingly for the rest.
“How’re you liking Seoul?”
It’s such a normal question, but it throws Jeongguk off. Usually, he would’ve raised his voice, made a remark that quickly shows his anger, one of the few emotions he feels like he shows best yet, they’re in public .
Instead, Jeongguk has to act along, for now.
“S’good.”
A short answer.
“And uni? Are classes hard?”
Jeongguk drops his metal chopsticks, lips now strained thin. “Stop,” he says with gritted teeth, trying not to stir attention.
“Jeongguk.”
“Just—please. Don’t do that whole big brother act. Not now.”
“I—”
“Jaekyung. Please.” God, even his name tastes dusty on his tongue.
“Why? Why? I am your brother, Jeongguk. That’s my role.”
Fingers tighten around the edge of the table for better composure. Jeongguk feels like he’s suddenly on edge.
“You—you never tried to.”
At that, Jaekyung’s features falter completely. “What?”
“You never tried to be a big brother. So just—stop.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I di—”
Jeongguk cuts him off. “You always stood by his side.”
Jaekyung takes a deep breath, leans across the table, eyes screaming a million words but Jeongguk can’t find a way through them, overwhelmed by it.
“Jeongguk.”
“You did, you still do. So, please, just—just don’t. Don’t.” Jeongguk goes back to staring at his fingers, snow white with how strained they are against the wood.
“He’s always wanted what’s best for you, and so have I.”
Biting his lip becomes a sudden habit. A way to shut down the anger that so easily rests at the tip of his tongue. He wants to scream, scream words he’s already said loud and clear to Jaekyung but instead, he just sighs.
“Right.”
Jeongguk wants to leave.
There’s silence again, so heavy Jeongguk feels like he can’t even physically move in his seat. Jaekyung keeps eating, but regrets it when he sees Jeongguk hasn’t moved an inch.
“I—I’m sorry,” Jaekyung says, sincerity lapped around his mouth and tongue. Jeongguk hates that he means it. “I’m sorry for not—for not being what you needed. Back then, and—and now. But I mean it, Guk, I’ve only wanted what’s best for you. Really. I did—I mean I still do. I do. I still—just—I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry. Also, for showing up unannounced like this. God—I’m so sorry, Jeongguk.”
It’s too much, too close to Jeongguk. He feels every word breathed out in the air, all of the words a mix of cold and warmth.
“Mhm.” He can’t speak, if he does he’ll cry. God. Jeongguk rarely cries.
“But I mean it. I want what’s best for you. Soccer, that’s…”
“Don’t.”
Jaekyung sighs loudly, the disappointment hanging in the air. As always. And when he does, he hates it.
“Jeongguk. There’s no future in it. You know that.”
Jeongguk really tries to keep it together, but then it just falls out so quickly, he barely catches his own mouth. “You sound just like him.”
“N—No. Jeongguk that’s—”
“Did he tell you to come here? Was this his idea?” Questions Jeongguk wished he’d kept inside his mind, but now it’s too late.
Jaekyung takes a moment, shifts in his seat while sliding his palms against each other. He’s not avoiding the question, but he’s filling it with silence which brings out a clear answer.
“Tell him I’m fine, and leave. Don’t come back.”
“Clearly you’re not fine , Jeongguk. You were beaten up when I saw you!”
Embarrassment creates claw marks on Jeongguk’s back when he moves in his seat. He’s getting out of here. He can’t do this anymore.
“I’m fucking fine.” He spits out, not loud enough for it to cause attention, but loud enough for Jaekyung to feel he means every word.
He’s about to walk out, but then he’s stopped by a harsh grip on his elbow.
“Sit down.”
“No.”
“Jeongguk.”
Eyes turn their way, and only to save himself from further embarrassment, he obeys and sits back down on the awfully loud chair.
“Why won’t you talk to me?” Jaekyung pleads. “Just—talk to me. Please. What’s going on? Who did that to you? Talk to me.”
“I’m fine, that’s all you need to know.” His anger stays on a surface, enough to show Jaekyung a glimpse of it.
“Is this—all this, is it because of soccer? Really?”
Jeongguk can’t find his words, so Jaekyung continues.
“You’re smart, Jeongguk. Okay? Soccer isn’t—it’s just not the way.”
It is for him, probably always will be. Part of it feels useless to tell Jaekyung this. He won’t even understand it.
“I’m leaving. You should too.”
Jaekyung knows this is the end of their conversation. They'll never be able to meet each other in the middle, never be able to understand one another and Jeongguk’s heart aches when he gets up and leaves his brother behind.
His eyes are wet when Jeongguk catches them one last time.
Fuck .
Everything hurts suddenly. The walk home is heavy and physically hard, with the way Jeongguk’s heart is heavier than usual in his chest.
Trying to keep his head high, he manages to make it to the front of the elevator without breaking down.
Pressing the button, Jeongguk sniffs, nose suddenly wet from the cold weather. He waits for what feels like hours, even though he can hear the thrumming loudly, a sign it’s moving.
When the doors open, Jeongguk steps inside and leans against the cold walls. His eyes are closed when it moves up, shaking a bit around him and it isn’t until he’s stepped out, and checked his phone that he comes to a decision.
He needs to forget.
Opening the door, warmth collides against him. Instead of removing his jacket, and beanie he only removes his shoes and exchanges them for his house slippers. The slide of his feet catches the attention of his roommates who are cuddled up on the couch, some movie Jeongguk doesn’t recognize playing on a high volume.
“Guys.”
Ryu pauses the film when he realizes Jeongguk’s back, eyebrows flown towards the roof. “Hey! You’re back early.”
“Let’s go out.”
“What?” Jori’s confused, Jeongguk doesn’t blame him. He’s rarely the first to suggest such a thing, Ryu and Hector having the highest streak between them.
Ryu is no better, he’s rubbing down both eyes, probably thinking he’s dreaming, and Hector has gone mute.
“Repeat that, slowly.” Ryu demands, and Jeongguk tries not to roll his eyes at the dramatic antics.
“Let’s,” Jeongguk takes a step further. “Go,” he grabs Hector by the arm to lift him up. “Out.”
Ryu blinks. “You’re shitting my dick, right?”
Jeongguk grimaces at the use of words. “Now! Come on! Jongha said he’ll give us free beers if we go to his restaurant!”
“You don’t even know if he’s working tonight. Seriously, what's up with you?” Ryu sounds worried, and Jeongguk hates it. He doesn’t need this right now. He needs his friends, he needs to have fun . He needs to fucking forget.
“Then text him,” Jeongguk urges, but Ryu’s brows only turn into a bigger frown.
“Guk, what’s with you?”
“Oh, calm down, I’m just suggesting we go out. I’m fine .”
Hector and Ryu share a look, one that gives Jeongguk the impression that they’re communicating about him. He hates it.
“Stop that. Can we just—come on!” He drags it out, Jori staying quiet but then Hector speaks.
“Ryu, text Jongha. Jeongguk—” Hector glances towards his bedroom, indicating for him to follow and Jeongguk does, not wanting to make things weirder than they already are.
It isn’t until Hector closes his door that he begins to speak in a soft tone. “Is this related to…”
“No. No. It’s not. I really just—I wanna go out, okay?”
“Ryu told me you already went out. Did something happen? You look pale as fuck, Guk.”
“I’m fine. The dinner thing was okay. I just wanna have some fun. It’s nothing serious, okay? You can stop staring at me like that.”
Hector tries to harden his gaze instead, but it never fully reaches and Jeongguk finds it better to look away.
“It’s just one beer.”
The sigh Hector lets out is so heavy it fills the room with it, almost suffocating Jeongguk but then he hears it.
“Fine. Let’s go.” He opens the door, not another word said between them.
Ryu and Jori are ready by the time they step into the living room. Their behavior from earlier is gone, the light tone of fun back into their apartment. Ryu swings an arm around Jeongguk, annoying him by singing a song out of key and loud in his ears but Jeongguk enjoys it, giggling as he puts on his shoes now wet, the snow melted.
They all walk side by side down the side streets of Seoul, snow still falling down from earlier, only this time it’s a bit heavier. When the street turns steep, their pace slows down and while Hector shows them what his mom baked earlier, Jori’s phone pings loudly.
He’s frowning when he’s grabbing his phone, everyone quiet as they wait eagerly for the reason. It isn’t until Jori’s eyes widen that Ryu says something.
“What?! What is it?”
“Noa…” Jori whispers. “They—they asked me…”
Jeongguk’s heart beats loudly for his roommate, knowing what has been done and as Ryu is about to scream another loud what, Jori admits it.
“They asked me on a date—they—I—”
“Holy shit?!” Hector and Ryu jump on Jori, hugging him in excitement and Jeongguk joins in while Jori’s laughter fills the empty street.
“We gotta cheers to that!” Ryu says, grabbing Jori’s arm and pulling him in the direction of the restaurant, Hector and Jeongguk annoying Jori from behind by squeezing his shoulders, and ruffling his hair.
“You guys are embarrassing me!”
“Hyung. Shut your mouth,” Ryu says.
Jori’s lips close into a thin line, up until they reach Jongha’s workplace.
The atmosphere is better than the one Jeongguk was met with earlier, a bigger crowd of young people taking it up. No families in sight. Some of their faces are recognizable, others not really and in truth, Jeongguk doesn’t really care too much, he just wants to drink.
Ryu brings a hand in the air, Jongha catching sight of them and signaling he needs a second. While they wait, Jeongguk takes his jacket off, sweat accumulating in his armpits due to the forgoing heat in the restaurant. Some of it stays on his nape, and Jeongguk doesn’t wipe it down.
“You guys are here!”
Joy fills the room with Jongha’s open warmth. He’s smiling from ear to ear, Ryu not hesitating to give him a small hug in greeting.
“Thanks for inviting us.”
“No worries. There’s a table near the window.” He points, Ryu catching on. “I’ll bring you some beers, as promised.”
“Thanks.”
They move around, the cheerful laughter in the restaurant following them. Jeongguk sits closest to the window, skin slightly brushing up against the glass, dust decorating the edges. Jori sits next to him, wrapping a hand around his bicep as they look over the menu card.
The food from earlier hasn’t had time to digest, so Jeongguk doesn’t feel the slightest hungry yet another part of him wants to eat in front of his friends to prove he’s not damaged— that he’s fine.
Therefore, when Ryu and Hector are pointing things out on the menu, Jeongguk joins in, ordering a big dish for him and Jori to share. Jongha’s colleague notes it down, smiling down at them when they all thank her in unison over her quick, and efficient service.
Silence never reaches the table, Ryu taking this moment to beg Jori to show him the text Noa sent in regards to the potential date.
“It’s nothing—oh my god you are so fucking nosy. Stop,” Jori says with gritted teeth when Ryu has leaned forward on the table, able to reach for Jori’s phone. Hector is grinning and shaking his head when he steals a few glances, his hands busy typing out a text to whom Jeongguk guesses is Namjoon.
The reminder that Namjoon—one of his teammates is angry at him makes him feel physically sick. His stomach is doing tricks on him, making him feel half empty yet half full. Jeongguk can’t bear it. It’s neither guilt or shame he carries, but a third thing that he can’t pinpoint anymore. At least not when he finally gets the beer in front of him and starts drinking.
Usually, at restaurants, Jeongguk goes easy, tries to savor it throughout the night but tonight is different. He’s not patient or careful. He’s reckless, fast paced, and drowns his face in the taste of beer—something he absolutely hates . But oddly enough, it doesn’t taste bad. It tastes familiar. Tastes of the few parties he’s attended, the one where Hector and Namjoon finally got their shit together and when Kim said—
“Earth to Jeongguk?”
It’s Hector, staring at him with squinted eyes and a pointed chin.
“Sorry—What—uh what’s up?”
“We were talking about heading to a club in Hongdae after this. Jongha’s shift ends in an hour,” Hector explains, ignoring Jeongguk’s perplexed gaze.
Not coming to a conclusion if he wants to or not, Jeongguk nods.
When the food arrives, all of his roommates dig in without hesitation, Jeongguk already feeling full just by the strong aroma. Shit . He has not thought this through.
Jori doesn’t comment on the fact that Jeongguk isn’t eating from their shared dish—neither do Ryu and Hector, too busy talking shit about some documentary series that got all the facts wrong that it made them lose brain cells.
The noise drowns out when Jeongguk focuses on the empty glass of beer, the foam still visible at the bottom. Thoughts don’t ever stop—they continue, his mind wandering to what Jaekyung had told him earlier.
There’s no future in it, you know that.
You’re smart, Jeongguk. Okay? Soccer isn’t—it’s just not the way.
Emotions flood his head, making him dizzy. He wishes it was the alcohol but it’s just—
“I’m gonna get one more beer.”
“You sure? They have sambuca shots at the club, your favorite!” Ryu reminds, noticing that Jeongguk drinking beer all of the sudden isn’t exactly normal.
“Nah—I need a beer. It’s okay, they don’t taste bad here.”
It’s just his head convincing him, he’s aware. But that doesn’t stop him from going up to the bar and asking for one more, Jongha filling it up easily from the tab, staying quiet.
“Hey, Jeongguk? Are you going with us to Hongdae?”
“Haven’t really decided yet, but yeah I might.”
Jongha nods, placing down the glass for Jeongguk to take. “Mina is gonna come too. It’s gonna be lots of fun.”
Not making it too obvious, Jeongguk hums as he sips his beer, foam coating his upper lip. “I need to get back to the others but—thanks, you know, for the free beers and all.”
Jongha smiles. “No worries.”
Walking back, Hector is in the middle of talking about his mother, something along the lines of Namjoon and his relationship. Jori pokes Jeongguk by the arm when he’s fully seated, not hesitant in getting the beer down quickly.
“Speaking of dating, why the fuck is my love life dry as fuck?!” Ryu complains loudly, Hector soothing a hand on his back in comfort.
“Did something happen? You’re usually never mopey about being single,” Jeongguk questions, because it’s true. Ryu has never once complained loudly about not finding someone, so to suddenly speak in such an exasperated tone has him suspicious.
“Well Jeon Jeongguk, it has been brought to my attention that everyone is seeing someone—”
Jeongguk sends him a grimace.
“Okay—minus you and Taehyung but for fuck’s sake! Jimin got down with Jackson after New Year’s, and it’s getting serious and just—I wanna cuddle with someone too.”
Trying to ignore his name beside Taehyung’s, Jeongguk chugs the rest of his beer while Ryu whines, head in between his arms on the table.
“You’re just saying this ‘cause it’s cuffin’ season,” Jori butts in, mouth half full with spicy rice.
“Winter is romantic, okay? Sue me, hyung.”
“Alright, Ryu, no more soju for you,” Hector says, placing a hand on his nape.
He nods in agreement. “You’re right. I need fucking shots. Isn’t Jongha almost off?”
Hector checks his phone for the time, the screen emitting a soft glow on his face. “Yeah, in like fifteen minutes, you whiny baby. Be patient.”
“Easy for you to say, Mr. I’m-in-a-healthy-relationship.”
Shaking his head, Jeongguk gets up again, the beer already fucking gone. He needs more, one more beer will help his thoughts vanish, he’s certain. Jongha doesn’t question anything, or says something in relation to Mina when he pours another beer for Jeongguk to drown in.
The conversation continues when Jeongguk sits back down.
“Okay watch it be summer, and you’ll scream in happiness over being single and fucking around at parties.” Hector mentions full blown facts landing down on the table. Too spot on, Ryu’s mouth runs dry by staying open for too long.
“What the fuck?! Since when has this night out been a call out Ryu party? Let me live, oh my fuck—”
Jeongguk laughs, already finding Ryu’s choice of words creative, especially his way of cursing.
“Don’t even start Jeongguk, you’re worse than me.”
“Touché, motherfucker.” Jeongguk chuckles, Ryu now grinning from ear to ear instead of moping like a sore loser in a game of chicken, the chicken being dating and healthy relationships.
Finishing the last drop of his beer, Jongha comes over to their table, fully dressed, the apron long gone and the black pressed shirt.
“You guys ready to hit Hongdae? Mina’s already there, warming up for us in the queue.”
“Let’s fucking get it!” Ryu slams both hands down onto the table before standing up, and that’s when it clicks for Jeongguk that he needs a way out.
The biting cold weather stretches onto Jeongguk’s skin when they step out, the snow no longer dropping but still laid onto the pavement and trees around them. His legs feel a bit wobbly, body lighter than earlier but it hasn’t done damage to his head, his thoughts that need to be far gone.
This is why he hates beer. Never works.
When Jongha joins them after saying goodbye to his colleagues and boss, Jeongguk starts yawning. Jori notices, raising an eyebrow.
“You sure you’re up for Hongdae?”
“Uh—honestly might skip—I don’t know, beer makes me tired.”
Ryu shakes his head. “Go home. I’m not dragging you from Hongdae to home if you’re already this tired.”
“I love you too, fuckhead.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, apologizing to Jongha who seems to be a bit down by the decision. “Have fun, drink sambuca shots for me, yeah? Also Ryu, stop whining and find someone in Hongdae, you need it.”
“Just go!” He pushes him off, chuckling when Jeongguk is quick to catch the fake offense, one that always fails in staying strong.
The hill kills Jeongguk’s wobbly legs, causing him to take a few breaks by the poles, hanging off to gain support. Some loud, k-pop song is playing from one of the houses, entertaining Jeongguk’s struggle to get home.
Thankfully he reaches the top, groaning in victory, head leaned backwards, the cool air hitting the sweat on his neck.
It isn’t until he’s reaching the apartment complex that the beer really starts to hit, creating uncoordinated steps, Jeongguk almost tripping over himself.
When he’s in front of the elevator, he tilts back and forth in impatience, face feeling rather hot. Taking off his beanie, he runs a hand through his damp hair, blowing out a breath in pleasantry over the cool air hitting the back of his head.
As the doors open, Jeongguk walks straight ahead, head still down but then he collides into someone that’s stepping out. He’s just about to sputter an apology when he realizes who he bumped into.
For a second he thinks he’s hallucinating, that his mind is creating tricks on him like bad karma, but then Taehyung’s breath hitches when he sees Jeongguk’s wide eyes.
He’s not wearing a snapback, letting his curls out, covering most of his face.
That’s the first thing Jeongguk realizes, the snapback always gaining his attention easily.
Jeongguk’s eyes are all over his face, curiosity killing the cat after hearing how awful he looks. Studying the bruises he can find, Jeongguk spots the one under his eye, now a lighter shade of green. There’s one on each cheekbone, and his bottom lip is busted, making it swollen and bigger than when Jeongguk had his teeth dug into—
The elevator door shuts closed, snapping Jeongguk out of the long trance he’s gained.
It’s quiet when they lock eyes, Taehyung’s gaze is bitter and so harsh that Jeongguk breaks eye contact first, unable to bear it.
Taehyung is looking at him as if he’s no one.
He moves without a word, a remark, nothing. It’s just silent.
Insults hang heavy in the air, but none reach their mouths.
Taehyung is holding himself back, Jeongguk can tell with how clenched his jaw is. Somehow Jeongguk deeply wishes Taehyung would yell at him, tell him he’s a fucking dick but instead he’s silent. Jeongguk hates it.
The silence is too powerful. Jeongguk feels like the longer Taehyung stays quiet, the more he loses because he needs—no wants to say something, anything. But he doesn’t. He holds himself back, and walks away from it like he does with everything else.
When he steps inside the elevator, the weight gets worse, an aching pain growing in his shoulders. Jeongguk tries to make it better by massaging it down, although it doesn’t seem to work.
Ignoring it for now, Jeongguk focuses on the high pop playing in the speakers, tapping his finger to the beat before it dings and leaves him on his floor.
Stepping back inside his apartment, the sight of Taehyung is already forgotten, his head elsewhere.
He moves towards his room, dropping flat down on his bed, hands covering his face as he inhales deeply.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses under his breath when he comes to a realization that he never found out how Jaekyung knows where he lives.
Notes:
:D how we feelinnnnn
Chapter 10
Summary:
blue balling [verb.] blue • ball • ing: to tease something or someone into expecting something that doesn't actually happen.
e.g: this chapter.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Avoidance has a limit.
Jeongguk was unaware of it until it showed on a random Tuesday in the beginning of February.
Everything up until then had been great—hell Jeongguk would even use the word perfect. There was zero contact with the Red Devils, just like how it used to be during the first semester, and Mina had been nowhere in sight during Psychology classes.
It was easy, maybe a bit too easy—so it makes sense that his moment of peace ended so soon.
As Mr. Kim sums up today’s lesson, Jeongguk feels someone poke him on the shoulder. The hood of his hoodie falls off when he turns, frown resting carelessly on his eyebrows. It falters quickly when he sees Mina grinning from ear to ear, whispering a small greeting.
“H-hey.” His voice is off, throat half dry, half wet with emotions from the past month that have crumbled down beneath the surface. But, somehow, they’re back in his throat, although there’s no anger.
“Wanna grab coffee after class?” She whispers, Mr. Kim’s voice drowning out.
Jeongguk doesn’t think twice when he nods.
This is weird. Usually, Jeongguk would’ve tried to avoid it for a longer time, come up with excuses but with the way Mina is so gentle, her presence not sending a direct anger, Jeongguk finds himself becoming weak.
He’s not surprised.
Things were a blur during New Year’s and a bit afterwards—hence avoiding her at all costs for some time, but it was never because Jeongguk was angry at her.
It was Taehyung getting too close. Crossing a line Jeongguk didn’t even draw to begin with. It angered him that Taehyung did it so shamelessly, so thoughtlessly.
Fuck him.
“Jeongguk-ssi?”
Mr. Kim stares at him with a pointed look, and it’s then that Jeongguk realizes he’s let himself grow too close to his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed class was over.
“Shi-” He stops himself before cursing in front of Mr. Kim, his eyebrow already raised in offense. “I’m sorry. Have a good day, Mr. Kim.” Jeongguk bows politely, joining Mina who’s waiting by the door, holding onto her bag.
“You seem a bit out of it. You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah m’fine. Which café do you wanna go to?” Jeongguk doesn’t really care, in truth he’s just distracting her from noticing how he’s distracting her from noticing his sudden lack of composure.
“Well, I don’t have any more classes for today, so if you’re free I was thinking we could go downtown?”
Jeongguk nods. “Sure.”
The road towards downtown isn’t far, yet it feels like it with how deafening the silence is around them. Usually they would be talking about something- anything by now but it seems that Mina is well aware things are different.
“Hey, did I do something?” She finally asks when they’ve sat down after ordering.
“No—no, Mina you haven’t. Sorry—s’just been a busy start to the year. That’s all.”
Mina doesn’t say anything, only glances down on her fresh manicured nails that tap carelessly onto the wooden table. “Whatever I did, Jeongguk, I’m sorry.”
Hearing an apology pains Jeongguk. He’s the one that fucked up. That lost control over his anger, got into a fight, became so overprotective of her when she’s in reality allowed to do whatever the fuck she wants. God. Jeongguk is such a dick.
“No. No, I’m sorry for pulling away recently.”
Her eyes turn soft. “It’s okay. How’ve you been? Feels like it’s been forever.”
Feeling like absolute hell.
“Yeah, good, I guess.” The lies taste bitter on his tongue but he’s grateful he can wash it down with the coffee he’s handed by a waitress. “How about yourself?”
“I’ve been good. I’m still kinda recovering from having the flu, but other than that I’m fine. I’ve just kinda taken one day at a time, it feels easier like that.”
Jeongguk agrees, although his days only turn heavier, his body too, even when he tries to make it lighter by working out or going for a run.
He doesn't know when it ends, if it’ll even reach an end.
“Yeah.”
“I think the only fun thing I’ve done since New Year’s is hanging out with your roommates, and Jonghie in Hongdae. Felt kinda bummed out that you didn’t join us.” She pouts dramatically, Jeongguk rolling his eyes at the antic, but it’s light-hearted when it’s paired with a smile.
“Sorry… The beer got me.”
“You don’t even like beer.”
Jeongguk hums. “It was free.”
“Ah, right Jonghie did mention you guys stopped by.” She shakes her head. “Can’t believe you drank beer.”
“I did pretty well for someone who actually hates it,” Jeongguk shows off, crossing his arms and jutting his chin.
Mina isn’t impressed, slapping him on the chest to make him stop. “You’re fucking stupid, Jeon.”
Jeon.
Jeongguk tries not to visibly show a reaction. Tries not to think about how the last time someone called him Jeon it was Taehyung, minutes prior to the first punch.
“Oh! Shit—are you going to Hoseok’s party?”
Still lost in the anxiety of reminders, and haunting memories, Jeongguk decides to divert his attention to something else. Even though he knows the answer, he plays dumb.
“Maybe? I don’t know yet.”
“It’s gonna be a ton of fun. Apparently he bought a foam machine.”
Jeongguk laughs, imagining Hoseok purchasing such a thing for a party. “That’s not even surprising.”
“He’s so creative when it comes to parties! How does he do it?”
“I don’t know, Mina, you tell me.”
Sipping on his coffee, the conversation continues to divert elsewhere but it doesn’t stop the blaring alarm that tells Jeongguk he has only three weeks left before he’s entering complete hell.
Three fucking weeks.
Shit.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Jori, grab some cucumbers.” Ryu orders, staring down at his phone with the grocery list. Meanwhile, Jeongguk is too busy swimming through his own thoughts. He’s been staring blankly at the food items in their cart, both of his hands gripping the bar tightly.
“And, Jeonggukie, grab some snacks for movie nights. The usual.”
Jeongguk doesn’t hear anything, still staring at the different pastas and preserves.
“Jeongguk. Yah!” Ryu shakes him by the bicep, his nails digging into the fabric of his puffer jacket. It snaps Jeongguk out of it, his eyebrows flying towards the ceiling in surprise.
“Sorry—what?”
“The fuck is up with you?” Ryu asks with deep concern even though it might sound harsh.
“Nothing. Sorry.”
He doesn’t fall for it, but given the current situation there’s no time to play the interview game. “Just—” Ryu sighs loudly. “Grab some snacks for movie night, will you?”
Jeongguk tries not to visibly wince. “Sure, yeah. Sorry.”
He walks away, leaving Ryu to pick out the right meat with Hector, Jori already completely occupied by the green aisle.
There’s no one here when Jeongguk takes a sharp turn, leaving him alone to stare at the endless options. He spots the usual chips they eat, grabbing a few bags knowing they’ll run out pretty fast, and starts looking around to find Jori’s favorite snack.
Too immersed by the different colors and patterns on the snacks, Jeongguk doesn’t realize he’s not alone, accompanied by—
“Oh, hey Jeongguk.”
He freezes in the middle of grabbing the right bag, turning his eyes in the direction of—
“Jimin, hey.”
There’s a beat of silence, no one saying a word, at least not until someone comes from behind.
“Minnie, they didn’t have the right coff—”
Jeongguk hates how quickly they gain eye contact.
It almost feels like a challenge when Taehyung doesn’t look away, keeps staring at him while Jimin struggles to come up with something to kill the brutal tension.
Somehow seeing that this time, given the circumstance, is different than the last, Jeongguk is positive he’ll say something, call him a ridiculous nickname, throw a comment—
“Let’s go, Minnie,” Taehyung says instead, dragging him away from the aisle.
Jeongguk is left dumbfounded.
He has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Kim fucking Taehyung, the guy that always— always says some nasty bullshit is quiet. Too quiet.
The silence is killing Jeongguk, and it’s not hard to connect the dots that it’s clear the tied score is changing between them again.
He won’t fucking allow it.
Ignoring the visible ignorance from Taehyung and the perplexed expression on Jimin, Jeongguk proceeds to pick out the snacks.
When both arms are filled to the brim, he decides that’s enough and walks back towards the meat aisle to Ryu who’s standing next to the cart.
Only, he’s not alone this time.
He’s chit-chatting animatedly with Jimin, who’s smiling and laughing over God knows what, Taehyung beside him giggling and shaking his head. Thankfully their backs are turned, unaware of Jeongguk’s eyes on them.
To win the game, Jeongguk decides to make it worse. He walks over to Jori, helping him pick out the right vegetables for the soup they’re making later.
“How’s it going with Noa?” He asks when he picks out some fresh tomatoes. Jori hides his smile in his scarf, shrugging.
“Oh, it’s going good,” Jeongguk pokes, Jori not minding, not with the way he’s lightly shoving him.
“Shut up.”
“What? It’s good seeing you like this,” Jeongguk admits, Jori’s eyes sparkling at the realization.
“Like what?”
Jeongguk can’t help how his lips move sideways into a curved grin. “Like you’re in love.”
Jori, clearly affected by the teasing, rolls his eyes. “Thanks, you bitch.”
“You’re not saying no,” Jeongguk continues, Jori clearly done with him when he moves towards the rest, flicking him off.
Still caught in the teasing act, the grin on Jeongguk’s lips dares to leave, even after catching the pained expression on Jimin, and the stoic one from Taehyung.
Ryu is still conversing like normal, unaware of the high tension between them. Whereas, Hector is too aware, constantly moving his gaze from Jeongguk to Taehyung, almost as if he’s scared one will pounce on the other again. Jori grips Jeongguk by the arm, trying to distract him a bit, and it seems to help for a split second.
“And then we went out with Jonghie, and Mina in Hongdae. But our little Jeonggukie here didn’t come,” Ryu pouts while explaining, and Taehyung’s jaw tightens. Jeongguk can’t help but wonder if it’s because Mina is mentioned or if he’s reminded of what happened that same night.
In truth, he doesn’t want to find out. He’s fine with this. Keeping it on a level of full on plague, and extreme avoidance. Even though this time it’s reciprocated, which is a bit odd seeing it wasn’t like this last year. Although, that doesn’t mean Jeongguk can’t easily get used to this.
He can, and he is.
“It was the beer, Ryu,” Jeongguk says, cutting into the heavy silence that reaches everyone but an uncaring Ryu.
“Beer?” Jimin questions, aware of Jeongguk’s distaste.
Ryu nods. “We got some beers for free at Jongha’s workplace. He works at a restaurant near the Myeong-dong district.”
The rest of his sentence drowns out, Jeongguk’s eyes drifting towards the clenching of Taehyung’s jaw. Unable to control his thoughts, he’s reminded how he’s had his mouth and tongue run along it–
Jesus Christ, Jeongguk. Fucking stop.
“Well—It was nice seeing you, Ryu. I’ll see you guys at Hobi-hyung’s party next weekend, right?” Jimin’s eyes are pointed towards Jeongguk, and therefore he feels the need to answer first.
“Yeah, actually, I—uh can’t. I’m not in Seoul next weekend, but—I won’t miss the next one,” Jeongguk answers in full honesty, and while it is, Jimin doesn’t seem to be certain. He can’t be blamed for it, not after Jeongguk has heavily avoided all of the Red Devils, scared of confrontation about New Year’s. But, it’s the truth, despite the fact that Jeongguk wishes it wasn’t.
He would rather be confronted by his teammates than go to—
“You’ll be missed.”
“We’re still coming, can’t miss out on the foam machine,” Hector butts in, diverting the attention elsewhere which Jeongguk is grateful for.
He doesn’t really know how to interpret Jimin’s words. Shouldn’t he be angry? After all, he did fuck up Taehyung’s face so bad that his whole team is angry at him, albeit Taehyung threw the first punch.
But Jimin looks at him softly, almost regretful, and annoyingly enough, Jeongguk doesn’t get more time in analyzing it when they’re out of their sight, proceeding with their own grocery trip.
Ryu, still unbothered by the tension, reads aloud their list, making sure they’ve gotten everything.
Jeongguk’s thoughts continue to build throughout the day.
Maybe he’s read everything wrong.
Maybe.
“Okay, we got everything. Let’s go home,” Ryu suggests handing over the trolley for Jeongguk to push towards the cashier. Jori is already opening the bags, ready to pack everything and Hector is hurriedly texting– probably Namjoon– before helping his roommate.
Grocery bags in each arm, Jeongguk groans loudly when he places them down onto the kitchen island, Jori’s hands already deep diving to fish out everything that needs to be put immediately in the freezer.
Ryu helps out after placing his phone down and letting a random song from his playlist play. It keeps them company, and it keeps Jeongguk’s thoughts away for a few minutes. Hector is fishing out the pots, and casseroles that they need, along with knives and other smart gadgets he’s gotten from back home.
The song is interrupted when Ryu receives a text message. He checks it silently, Jeongguk continuing to separate what food they need for dinner, and which of it goes directly in the fridge. His thoughts are still no longer found in his head, keeping him floating rather than heavy and aching.
But that quickly ends when Ryu speaks.
“Jimin’s asking if we’re down to watch Parasite later.”
Jori nods, Hector as well and then Ryu stares at Jeongguk to wait for a confirmation. His first reflex is to say no, come up with an excuse— anything to prevent being near his problems but then he catches a pleading gaze in Ryu and he realizes he’s withheld him from hanging out with Jimin properly because of his anger.
To make up for it, Jeongguk sighs. “Sure, why not?”
“Thanks, Jeonggukie,” Ryu mouths indirectly to him, smiling softly before typing away on his phone.
Maybe it’s not as bad. Taehyung would definitely not be there. He’s probably too busy getting his dick wet for all Jeongguk cares.
Jeongguk spoke too soon.
The minute they all stand in front of the door, Ryu rings the doorbell and instead of Jimin opening it, it’s Taehyung, wearing sweatpants, and a loose fitted white t-shirt that exposes his defined collarbones, and his thin gold chain. Jeongguk makes the mistake of looking down, the bulge staring right back, forcing him to remember all the times he’s—
No. Jeongguk, get it fucking together.
“Oh, ‘sup. Come on in.” Taehyung moves aside, his eyes directed onto Jeongguk’s roommates rather than him.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes at the childish play, patience rather thin with this act.
But, that doesn’t mean Jeongguk will back down from a challenge. After all, he’s avoided Taehyung like the plague during the whole first semester, what’s one more?
He fucked y—
Jeongguk blocks out his inner voice.
The apartment is in a better state than last time Jeongguk was here. There were still a few boxes laying around, the couch placed differently and no sign of a TV.
Now, it looks like a home. There’s a few pictures on the wall, one of them of the Red Devils when they won the championship last year, medals on their neck as Jeongguk kisses the golden cup in his hands. He still remembers that day, how he managed to get the last goal in the last three minutes, avoiding a tie and a penalty shootout.
Jimin is already slouched on the couch, draped over with a blanket and popcorn in a bowl resting in his lap. He turns when Ryu greets loudly, arms circling around his shoulders to give him a backside hug. Taehyung turns to Jori while Jeongguk stares at the sight.
“You want anything to drink?”
Jori blinks. “Me?”
“Yeah, want something to drink? How about you, Hector?” Taehyung asks, ignorance heavy that Jeongguk almost feels it poke. But he’s not bothered by it.
“Sure, just some water.”
“Yeah, water for me as well. Thanks Tae,” Hector answers, Jeongguk biting back a laugh at the nickname. He finds it a bit ridiculous, but it does make sense seeing Hector has been in a serious relationship with Namjoon, who’s close to Taehyung. Even used him as a personal therapist in terms of his awful, heavy pining for Hector before they got together.
“Alright, you guys can just sit down. I’ll be back in a second.” Taehyung says, leaving the living room and stepping towards the open kitchen. Jeongguk shakes his head at the ridiculous act, about to join his roommates and Jimin when he realizes he’s not being served anything to drink.
Before he can drop down onto the couch, he walks towards the open kitchen. While the couch in Jeongguk and the other’s apartment is in front of the open kitchen, Jimin and Taehyung’s is closest to the two bedroom doors by the entrance.
He doesn’t realize until he’s standing in the kitchen and feels completely alone with Taehyung in the wide yet open space. The giggles can be heard not far from them, Ryu’s specifically as it’s always easy to catch, wheezed and airy.
While Taehyung opens the fridge to grab some cold water, Jeongguk decides that from the tap is more than enough, wanting this shit over with. He tries to look for the right cupboard, but he fails twice until his hand catches the handle for the third. Grabbing a glass, Jeongguk fills it up with water, forgetting that Taehyung’s annoying presence is near him.
Closing the tap, Jeongguk is about to bring the glass to his lips when he feels a hot breath on his nape. He freezes instantly, keeping still while Taehyung moves behind him, grabbing the glasses from above. There’s still not one single word spoken between them, and Jeongguk feels the temptation growing more when Taehyung’s bulge grazes against his ass before stepping away.
Jesus fuck.
The anger from New Year’s bubbles back inside of Jeongguk’s throat. He’s still so angry, wanting to strangle Taehyung if he could because this—is a stretch. It’s almost unbelievable how Taehyung still finds ways to remind Jeongguk that this is different now. This isn’t just some heated hatred between them—there’s more.
There’s a craving, but Jeongguk isn’t falling into it.
If he does, he’d look ridiculous, and his anger wouldn’t even permit him to begin with. It’d pull him back, tear Taehyung from the inside with poisonous yet empty words at his face.
Scoffing at the somewhat sexual tension, one that shouldn’t even be here to begin, Jeongguk brings the glass back to his lips.
Taehyung’s quiet when he pours, Jeongguk mindlessly side eyeing him while chugging the water, throat suddenly dry.
It's like he feels the scorching hot gaze, because suddenly Taehyung isn’t pouring anymore but staring right back at Jeongguk.
Then, he wets his lips.
Jeongguk frowns, more than ready to tell him to fuck off but he’s not going to be the first to give in. Instead of doing that, Jeongguk plays along. Fine. Taehyung doesn’t want to say a word but show off his big cock? Fine.
If this is how the game will go, Jeongguk will become the best player Kim Taehyung has ever seen.
He’s going to prove why he’s named Golden Boy.
On top of that, winning makes Jeongguk feel good, like really good. He’s not going to let the boiling anger stop him, instead he transforms it into something else.
Keeping his eyes locked to Taehyung’s, Jeongguk doesn’t remove his gaze, even while pouring water once more in the empty glass. Rather than drinking it like usual, he’s too fast with it, some of it spilling further down and wetting his chin and neck.
Taehyung’s jaw tightens when Jeongguk places down his glass, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and wiping down his chin, all while his abs are exposed for anyone to see. Taehyung tongues his cheek, eyes moving for not even a second on the view, and then he scoffs before leaving Jeongguk stranded in the kitchen.
As Taehyung is the first to leave, cutting whatever game this is, Jeongguk doesn’t feel a direct win.
It isn’t until he joins them on the couch as well, and notices Taehyung adjusting his cock in his sweatpants, the bulge bigger than earlier.
Checkmate, you fucking bitch.
The win glows around Jeongguk, his smile bigger than earlier even though the scene in Parasite is nothing but depressing. He’s seated next to Ryu, squeezed in the middle with Jimin as their hands fetch for the bowl of popcorn. Taehyung sits further on the chaise lounge, Hector and Jori taking up the rest of the space.
It’s dark in the living room, the outside sun already gone, exchanged by a clear nightly sky. The only light emitting into the space is from the TV, especially when the scenes happen at the rich, their backyard bright. Jeongguk keeps toying with a strand of hair, grin a bit dimmed than earlier but there nonetheless.
Quiet, except for the harsh whispers between Ryu and Hector discussing which character is the most insufferable, Jeongguk’s eyes linger towards the corner of the living room. He’s surprised to see Taehyung already staring at him, a hand on the top of his waistband, fingers circulating in a slow motion, and Jeongguk feels a sudden clump of spit block his throat.
What the fuck .
There’s still not one single expression on Taehyung’s face, still cold as ever, but his movements are contradicting it. It’s so slow, so precise when he lifts his t-shirt a bit, exposing his own defined stomach, and the happy trail that Jeongguk hasn’t had his mouth on— but now there seems to grow an urge, to trail a mouth on it, feel the hair tickle his wet tongue and—
Jeongguk. Stop.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, thinks it’s a good enough way to express indirectly that Taehyung isn’t getting to him, that whatever this fuckass touching show is, won’t ever—
Taehyung chuckles, a bit louder than usual and it catches Jimin’s attention.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothin’ sorry,” Taehyung clears the air quickly, Jeongguk adjusting his position on the couch when his eyes are back at the TV.
He can’t let Taehyung know that his cock is twitching in excitement beneath the blanket he shares with Ryu.
He can’t let him win.
The movie is more intense than ever, so naturally Jeongguk’s attention is diverted elsewhere, the teasing show from Taehyung forgotten just as fast.
As the credits roll, Jeongguk stretches his neck, body a bit stiff from being in the same position for a good hour and a half. The bowl between Ryu and Jimin is empty, leaving just the kernels. Jori’s yawning, Hector already up and heading towards their apartment, probably to be with Namjoon who’s waiting for him.
Jeongguk figures it’s best that he hangs around a bit, wanting to avoid talking to Namjoon directly. He knows he’d confront him, ask what’s been going on as if it’ll fix everything and frankly, now’s not a good time. Jeongguk has bigger worries, an overwhelming weekend ahead of him.
The sole reminder of it has Jeongguk ready to go for a run. Sure, he might not be well dressed for it, but he needs to move again. He can’t sit down for too long, disappointments hanging heavy on his shoulders when he does.
“I’m heading out as well. Thanks for tonight.”
“No worries, Guk,” Jimin says, smiling softly which calms part of Jeongguk’s nerves regarding his relationship with the team currently.
“You’re not coming back home?” Ryu questions, seeing how eager Jeongguk is to get out— and not home.
“No, uh, gonna go for a run. I’ll see you later.”
Taehyung’s nowhere to be seen when Jeongguk walks towards the hallway, and puts on his shoes. It makes his mindset before his jog less mounted with questions, but it doesn’t remove one question that seems to nag him.
What the fuck happened just now?
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The week before his trip back home is filled with things to keep him occupied. One day, he’s going for a run, another he’s cleaning the whole apartment while the rest of the roommates are out, and already by Thursday he’s doing laundry at the laundromat around the corner while doing homework. Jeongguk has never felt better.
He’s managed to completely tune out everything— and anything that’s slightly bad for him or damaging. Which explains how he’s driven his head furthest away from; Kim Taehyung and home .
Two problems. Big ones. So big Jeongguk wished his brain would at least allow smaller space for it, but newsflash; it hasn’t. Therefore, the next best thing was distractions.
As the clothes spin in the washer, Jeongguk types out the analysis for Mr. Kim’s class. It’s an individual assignment, something that managed to annoy Mina, who’s claimed she works better in groups, but for Jeongguk it was heaven. Full thoughts, full brain power on one thing.
A blessing, truly.
The light tapping on his computer fills out the silence around him, no one here but him. Maybe it has something to do with the fact it’s almost midnight. It’s fine. He has one class tomorrow in the afternoon. Going to sleep late won’t hurt him one single bit.
Except, Ryu had complained to him loud and clear when he passed up on the opportunity of going to some house party where the theme is “Dressing up as your Guilty Pleasure.” Last time Jeongguk actually took a theme seriously, he was walking around with that fucking sweater with the word Nut Buster while everyone had a remotely normal looking sweater. He’s not getting fooled again.
Thankfully, Jori and Noa had joined a desperate Ryu who clearly needed some alcohol in his system as the cuffing season takes a huge toll on him.
But saying no to the invitation does not equal not getting every detail of what’s happening at the party. It’s the only reason Jeongguk changes between writing a few paragraphs down, and texting Ryu who hasn’t stopped messaging him since he left home.
from: ryuuuu
[image.png]
we miss youuuuuu
Jeongguk clicks on the image, Jori and Noa making a funny face while Ryu pouts dramatically. Their faces are a deep shade of purple and blue due to the dance floor lights. A bit of the background is easy to trace out, showcasing a fairly large house. The costumes aren’t easy to miss either, Ryu dressed as Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf, Jori and Noa doing a couples costume from an anime that Jeongguk forgot the name of. They seem to have fun, Jeongguk hopes they do because a part of him does regret not joining.
to: ryuuuu
i miss u too
seems like you’re having a lot of fun tho
dude i still can’t believe u dressed up as stiles 💀
from: ryuuuu
i’ve already explained to you that teen wolf is actually the worst fucking thing ever but STILES BRO STILES!!!!!!
LET ME LIVE
you’re not even allowed to have an opinion! YOU DIDNT COME!
to: ryuuuu
fair point…
at least i’m cleaning your dirty underwear :)
from: ryuuuu
okay fuck you
but touché
to: ryuuuu
love you too
be careful
don’t drink too much
from: ryuuuu
yes dad 🙄
[seen]
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The actual week of hell has started off terribly. Jeongguk doesn’t know if it’s because he’s cursed, or hit with bad karma but the time has managed to slow down. Too much he’s felt like Monday alone was three days.
It’s Thursday today, even though Jeongguk feels like the week has already passed, and his classes for the day are over.
As he’s walking through campus to catch the nearest bus home, his phone buzzes an intense amount. Jeongguk fishes after it in his pocket, and checks his notifications.
from: jori
me and noa are making dumplings at home rn but we messed up like 6 times!!!! why is it so hard to fold????
[image.png]
look at them smiling as if they didn’t mess up almost half of the package…
jeongguk this is an emergency
we need your help!!!!!!
[► •||·||||-|-|||||||| 0:46]
Jeongguk clicks on it, the music in his earphones stopping immediately.
“Noa! Stop, it’s not—ew! I’m about to get it in my eye you dumbass! What the fuck—wait let me—Jeongguk! Come home right now, I swear to god I’m hungry as fuck and Noa isn’t helping by messing up what should’ve been a perfect meal and—”
Jori’s voice suddenly gets cut off, Noa’s own replacing the last thirty seconds of the voice message.
“Hey, Jeongguk! Ignore whatever he said, he’s lying—”
Then, Jori jumps back in. “I’m gonna pour this bowl of water on your pretty face—”
“Oh… kinky—”
The message ends, Jeongguk chuckling to himself at the stupidity of his two friends.
As if the timing couldn’t be more perfect, the bus comes to the stop, Jeongguk stepping in and scanning his card on the machine. The upbeat music returns in his ears, Jeongguk’s head now leaned against the glass of the bus, the rumbling from the motor making him shake a bit.
Every street is still covered in snow, only a thinner layer than in January. Jeongguk’s nose is red from the weather, a bit snotty too but he ignores it because getting sick again is the last of his worries.
Although a new worry steps in when Jeongguk enters their apartment, the open kitchen in an absolute mess. Okay, so maybe Jori didn’t exaggerate when he called it an emergency.
“Hello?” Jeongguk calls out, the place stranded.
“Jeongguk?” It’s coming from the bathroom, Jori peeking his head out, smile widening in relief at seeing his roommate. “Thank fucking god it’s you.”
“Uh, you good?”
Jori squeezes his lips tight, preventing the truth from slipping.
“Jori.”
Still nothing.
“Noa?”
“In here!” They call from the bathroom, and Jeongguk’s eyebrow can’t help but raise in suspicion.
“What’s going on?”
Jori finally, finally talks. “Well you see…Uh…”
Jeongguk doesn’t think further when he walks forward, opening the bathroom door wide, catching sight of Noa bent over the sink, and washing their shirt.
“Hey, Jeongguk,” they greet casually, as if their shirt isn’t half drenched, front arched to reach the tap.
Jeongguk suppresses a laugh, clearing his throat instead to make it less obvious how he’s minutes away from breaking into an awful loud giggle. “Hey— what— pff— what happened?”
Noa looks down at the big wet stain. “Oh, this little thing? Nothing really. Just a small accident with the water bowl used for folding.”
Jori sighs. “They tipped it over.”
“Ah.” Jeongguk looks behind him, stealing another glance at the kitchen that looks like it was hit by a fucking storm. “The kitchen… looks great .”
His roommate rolls his eyes at the sarcasm. “Okay, we get it.” Jori pauses, Noa continuing to fix their shirt. “But—to be fair! I texted you for a reason.” He points out angrily, Jeongguk’s grin fading into a serious expression—sort of.
“Right. Yes. This is a very serious matter.” Jeongguk presses his lips together to keep the grin away, but Jori catches onto the sarcastic tone once again.
“I should’ve texted Hector instead.”
Jeongguk’s grin makes a comeback. “Ouch.”
“At least he can take me seriously!”
“He takes everything seriously. That doesn’t count Jori, and you know it.”
Jori doesn’t say anything, making it clear that Jeongguk won this silly argument.
“Fine—just. Do you have a shirt Noa can borrow?”
“Yeah, sure thing. Hold on one second.”
Small chatter fills the apartment while Jeongguk digs after a simple t-shirt that he doesn’t mind getting rid of. When he finds a black one, he goes back to the bathroom and hands it over to Noa who’s no longer perched against the sink, but rather waiting with a soaked through shirt.
“Here.”
“Thanks, Jeongguk.”
Jori steps out of the bathroom to give them some privacy, walking alongside Jeongguk to the awful looking kitchen.
Jeongguk doesn’t think twice when he starts cleaning up, collecting what can still be of use and placing it back in the cupboards, and it’s then he feels a warm embrace from behind.
“Thank you.” It’s said softly, and genuine.
Jeongguk turns around to ruffle Jori’s hair, earning a small slap to his chest.
“Don’t worry about it. Is Noa okay?”
“They’re just clumsy.”
“Ah. Got it.”
They continue to clean the kitchen, Noa joining in when they’re done fixing their wet shirt, and now wearing Jeongguk’s. It suits them, the sleeves oversized on them but they’ve rolled them up, making the gap smaller.
“Thanks again, Jeongguk. You’re saving me.”
“No worries, Noa.” He smiles as he answers.
When the kitchen is back to a normal state, Jeongguk claps his hands together. “Now. Dumplings, anyone?”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Okay, I’ve got the red wine. Jori, did you grab the rosé? The one I stashed from Halloween?” Ryu asks, rummaging through his bag while Jori stands on his tippy toes to grab the bottle.
“A-almost…got—” Jori’s voice is strained, his fingers gliding over the cap. “I—I almost—fuck! Come on!” He tries again, and rather than helping, Jeongguk watches with a smug grin.
Ryu doesn’t seem to be pleased by it, especially when Jori slams his head on the cupboard in frustration, and Jeongguk giggles rather than ask questions in worry like usual.
Anything to keep him distracted from the upcoming nightmare.
“Jeongguk. Go help him– seriously, we’re running late,” Ryu scolds, and Jeongguk doesn’t reject the request, silently raising an arm to reach for the rosé bottle that’s giving Jori a hard time.
“Thanks.” Jori mumbles under his breath when Jeongguk hands it over.
“Hector! We got the rosé, come on!”
“Coming!”
Jeongguk leans over the kitchen island, making weird noises with his mouth as he watches his roommates run all over the place in a hurry to get everything they need.
“When does your train leave?” Ryu asks while putting on his shoes, Jeongguk leaning onto the wall in the hallway, far from ready. He’s still wearing his comfortable house clothing; sweatpants and a shirt with a random print on it.
“In two hours. I’ll be in Busan around eight.”
“Alright, you’re back Sunday right?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I’m coming home tomorrow morning.”
“Ah. That’s such a short trip…” Ryu mutters, frowning in wonder over the so-called trip home Jeongguk is taking. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell his roommates, it’s more the fact that it’s a lot more complicated than it looks.
“Yeah, but say hi from me to Noa. I hope you guys have a good time tonight,” Jeongguk says, changing the subject as it seems to crawl too close.
“Thanks, take care Jeonggukie.” Ryu gets back up. throwing an arm over Jeongguk’s neck to hug him tightly.
It feels nice, the comfort but Jeongguk can’t help but find himself weak for enjoying it so much.
As his roommates disappear one by one, the reminder of what’s to come becomes more real, scarier than earlier. Jeongguk tries to fall into the trap of immense panic, but knowing what he’ll hear, and see it’s hard not to.
To distract himself, he starts packing lightly, throwing in a few things in his backpack.
The anxiety doesn’t dawn upon him until he’s fishing for his suit, the one that was bought for this special occasion. Jeongguk feels sick staring at it, it even smells of everything he’s trying to avoid.
Placing down the black suit, Jeongguk stares at it as it’s laid down onto his bed, the contrast of it being so proper melding incorrectly with his messy bed sheets, and the crinkling from his duvet.
It starts slow. Hands start to turn clammy, his pulse races, and his throat feels more wet than before. He tries to continue with packing, but thoughts keep building up, keeping him on the edge, and then a sudden memory makes its way in.
Make me forget.
Holy shit.
Jeongguk blinks, standing still in the middle of his bedroom, eyes still trained onto the suit he’s supposed to wear.
He checks the time, realizing he has a full hour before he has to leave, and maybe that’s what does it. Soon, Jeongguk is pulling the suit back in place, shutting the door to his wardrobe and falling backwards onto his bed.
Make me forget.
His earlier words come back, reminding him of a way out, a way to survive tonight and Jeongguk decides to close his eyes, taking a deep breath before guiding his own hand down to the waistband of his Calvin’s.
It’s not the best idea, Jeongguk is aware. But it’s the only way for him not to completely lose his mind before stepping onto a train that leads him to awful nightmares.
Therefore he continues, tracing his fingers teasingly over the band of his underwear, building a tension for himself to grow hard, to get an aim at the pleasure that’ll cloud all bad things.
Carefully he cups over the bulge, putting a slight pressure by squeezing around his length. It feels good, tingling a bit in Jeongguk’s stomach, and then he proceeds, does it again, a bit harder, feeling his cock grow.
Head leaned back, Jeongguk touches anywhere his hands seem to reach, his fingers still taunting him by the waistband of his underwear. The cool air brushes over his cock when he lifts it to make it snap back against his tip, sending a sudden burst of pleasure.
“Shit…” Jeongguk licks his lips, opening his eyes to stare down at how hard he is, how he’s starting to leak. He lifts his shirt, abs exposed under his bedroom lights, defined and tensed when Jeongguk supports himself on one elbow, hand finally wrapping around his length.
He feels warm, hot by all the blood that’s pumping into his cock, the pre-cum sticky against his thumb when he drags it upwards to toy at his slit.
It feels so fucking good, sending a trembling sensation in his thighs when he clenches his hand around his cock, making it feel like he has someone wrapped around him, deep into one who’s fucking tight and warm.
To add into the coursing pleasure, Jeongguk brings his palm to his mouth, spits on it and coats his fingers wet by sucking onto them before going back down.
“F—fuck.” His hips buck upwards, the feeling intense and overwhelming. The wetness adds something, causing Jeongguk to lose his fucking mind over how good it feels—
Everything is forgotten when he moves his hand faster, stroking himself to his orgasm. He can barely keep his eyes onto his cock, head naturally thrown back as beads of sweat collect onto his neck and collarbones, some even on his abs by how much he’s working a hand on himself.
He just can’t seem to stop, doesn’t even slow down to revel in it, no. Jeongguk just needs this. Needs to feel his cum trail down his cock, glow in the after bliss of the orgasm that’s tingling in the pit of his stomach, it slowly coming to life and finding its way through Jeongguk’s body.
“Yeah- yeah fuck. Y- oh fuck.” Jeongguk loses his balance, elbow no longer in use as his body drops down, head tilted back to the point his veins pop out of his neck, voice strained by the breathy moans he lets out, and the groans once in a while when his thumb finds its way back to the wet tip.
Jesus fuck.
The sounds are wet, so wet that it urges Jeongguk to look back down onto his cock, and his hand that works its way too well, Jeongguk knows he’s not far from reaching his peak.
To make it go by faster, he keeps his hold tight and unmoving, thrusting into it instead. His mouth drops further down, eyebrows into a frown as he concentrates on not messing it up, at keeping it precise.
“Come on… come on fuck—please .” Jeongguk is so unaware of how he’s talking to himself, but he can’t seem to stop, not when he’s so close, so close to feeling his cum all over him.
His stomach draws inwards when Jeongguk keeps fucking into his hand, the orgasm finally pulling itself free, coming out from his tip and painting his abs and hand white.
Overwhelmed by sensitivity, Jeongguk thrusts sloppily to let everything out, not caring that it slightly hurts.
“Shit…”
No thoughts are in his head anymore, giving him a clear pathway, and it’s the only reason Jeongguk doesn’t question his odd behavior.
Realizing he’s close to running late, Jeongguk rushes to take a shower. He scrubs himself clean, the scent of his own shampoo overwhelming his nostrils to cloud the smell from the suit.
And it works. When Jeongguk puts it on, he can’t smell anything except his shampoo, and a few sprays of perfume. He doesn’t recognize himself when he tightens the tie, and cleans the cuffs, making sure nothing looks out of place.
It’s then he realizes his hair looks the same, and Jeongguk tries not to visibly gag at the feeling of gel overtaking his hair, making it pushback, his forehead now fully exposed. He looks too proper– just like he wants it, and the thought makes Jeongguk act reckless, loosening one strand of hair, and allowing it to hang over his forehead and eyebrow.
Now, he doesn’t look like a complete stranger.
“The KTX train to Busan is arriving at its final destination . Please make sure you bring all of your belongings when you leave the train.”
Jeongguk gets up along with the rest that sit in the same compartment.
When he stares through the window he sees things that used to be familiar, that used to feel like home but now all it does is leave a bitter taste in his mouth. Jeongguk steps out to wait near the door as the train slows down, a woman with her child standing behind him. He tries not to look, but fails and the sight makes his throat feel tight. Jeongguk looks away again, feels like his tie is strangling him even though it’s loosened. Still, he pulls at the collar and tie, but it doesn’t seem to remove the uneasiness.
Shit .
He needs to get out of here.
The doors open automatically, Jeongguk stepping down without a second glance behind him. There’s not a huge crowd, most of them probably heading back home to Seoul by the looks of their big bags, and suitcases. Jeongguk wishes he could too, return back home and forget all about Busan.
But, he has to endure, just for a little. Therefore, he forces his feet forward and walks towards the main entrance of the train station. There’s people waiting for their loved ones, some even holding a sign with their names on it, and by mere curiosity Jeongguk looks too, until he squints both eyes and sees—
Jeon Jeongguk.
Bold letters. His name.
Jeongguk blinks, thinking his trip has tired him out and therefore creating such a vivid image but then he hears it. His name.
“Jeon Jeongguk-ssi?”
He gulps.
The stranger moves closer, his look intimidating with the long coat and perfectly structured suit that highlights his features. He’s wearing a face mask, but Jeongguk spots the wrinkles in his cheekbones and forehead.
Somehow he looks familiar, but Jeongguk doesn’t know from where until the tall man brings the sign down and takes a few steps, still keeping a respective distance. He can probably tell Jeongguk is anxious with how tight he’s holding onto the strap of his backpack.
“Your father sent me. My name is Lee Soo-hyun. I will be driving you to the event.”
Jeongguk’s jaw clenches in anger.
Of course. Of course his father sent someone to pick him up. Of course, he doesn’t trust him, doesn’t believe that Jeongguk is a man that holds his promises, and shows up when his father needs him.
“Jeongguk-ssi?”
“Uh, yes.” Jeongguk clears his throat. “Sorry.”
“Please,” Soo-hyun opens the door, indicating for Jeongguk to step in, and he does, but not before taking a deep breath, already having an idea that the car smells like his father’s perfume. A scent that’s toxic, that slither’s Jeongguk’s throat open and bare.
The door shuts, Jeongguk almost flinching by it but decides to take a moment to bring himself down to a solid ground rather than a shaking one. He can’t fuck up. Not now.
His eyes are closed the whole way there, and Soo-hyun doesn’t seem too keen on chit-chatting either which makes this a fairly peaceful ride to hell.
Jeongguk’s nerves are a bit jumpy, causing a restlessness in his fingers. He taps them mindlessly on his thigh that’s already bouncing. He’s just about to stop them when Soo-hyun clears his throat, the car coming to a halt.
“We’re here, Jeongguk-ssi. Please stay seated.”
“Uh… Okay.” Fuck. Was that too casual? Shit. He’s already messing this up. “Yes, of course,” Jeongguk tries again, receiving a nod from Soo-hyun, one he catches in the rearview mirror.
Then, the gate to hell opens.
Jeongguk’s happy the car manages to block out the sounds it makes, rusty and old yet big, and pretty to any eye.
He tries not to stare too much, to notice if things look the same or if everything’s changed since he left. It explains why he’s staring down at the polished shoes instead, a pair that makes him appear older, more mature, which is exactly what his father wants.
“You may leave the car now.”
It’s then he realizes Soo-hyun is only allowed to drop him off, and not join him inside. Jeongguk grabs his backpack, securing his grip on the small handle, knowing his dad would comment if it were to be on his back like a normal person because it “causes wrinkles”.
“Thank you for the ride, Soo-hyun-ssi.” He steps out, joining the rest of the guests who are being welcomed by the doors.
Everyone is dressed up. Jeongguk spots long dresses on some women, along with furry coats due to the frosty weather. And while Jeongguk would much rather stay outside by the front door, he knows there’s no way out.
One step becomes two, and then Jeongguk finds himself back on the same stairs he’d first tripped on when he was little. Before soccer, before chaos.
The entrance is decorated from head to toe, with two big signs in each corner, showcasing the event in full glory. There’s two waiters, standing with gold platters in one hand, champagne glasses filled midway, ready to be taken.
Jeongguk knows he shouldn’t but his nerves keep fucking kicking him.
He smiles at the waiter, taking the glass and gulping it down when the coast is clear from peering eyes. It’s fuzzy, too many bubbles prickling his throat, and Jeongguk winces oddly until the feeling stops. He doesn’t know what to do with the empty glass, so he takes a few steps backwards and puts it back on the platter, ignoring the obvious side eye from the waiter.
“It was good. Thank you,” he says to save himself from further embarrassment.
He clears his throat, adjusting his tie that he forgot to tighten after his train ride, and smooths out the white collar. Taking a deep breath, he goes in.
Walking further inside the mansion, Jeongguk spots him.
He looks just the same. Jaw clenched, white collar so tight it looks like it’s strangling him, hair slicked back and wearing that godforsaken watch that costs a fortune. Jeongguk feels sick, feels like he’s about to throw up until his father’s eyes trail towards him, gripping him tight like a fish on a trapping hook.
Jeongguk takes the bait. He has no other choice.
“I’ll be right with you.” He catches his father mouthing to a couple he was in the middle of talking to.
It’s then he transforms, the clenched jaw loosening and bringing up a bright smile, one that’s never fit his stark face.
“Jeongguk-ah.”
He tries not to visibly gulp. “Dad.” It’s barely a whisper, but his father takes it, gripping a hand tight on his shoulder and squeezing it.
“Look at you!”
He’s being loud, the eyes from all the guests set on them and Jeongguk knows what this is about. It’s this fucking play. The play on being the picture perfect family. He feels sick, palms now all sweaty that Jeongguk can’t help but rub them down onto his pants even though it’ll probably earn him a scolding.
His father doesn’t seem to budge though, eyes still drilling holes into Jeongguk’s face.
“How’s university? Hm? Tell me.” He grips harder, enough for Jeongguk to wince but biting down the sound with his teeth, trapping down his tongue.
The hold on him is so tight, so controlling that Jeongguk isn’t even an ounce surprised when his father walks towards the backyard, Jeongguk following, so pliant under his touch. He manages to remove the curious gazes on them by leading them fully outside, no well-dressed guests in sight.
Shit.
“Straighten your back, boy. ” His father spits harshly, yet voice low enough not to cause suspicion.
Jeongguk does as told, finds it easier that way even though it hadn’t always been like this.
“And fix your hair. We’re taking pictures with your brother.”
The grip finally loosens, his father walking back in and is immediately greeted by joyful laughter from an old friend of his, Jeongguk assumes.
Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk closes his eyes before staring up at the night sky painted with stars. It’s the only part of Busan that Jeongguk misses. How alive the sky feels due to the millions of stars. He doesn’t get lost into it for too long, the doors opening once again.
“Hey.”
It’s Jaekyung.
Jeongguk opens his eyes, and cranes his neck towards his brother. “Hey.”
It’s silent, neither saying another word, as if everything that was of importance was already said in the tiny restaurant back in Seoul.
“Dad told me to come get you.”
“Pictures. Yeah. I know,” Jeongguk answers, not wanting to hear more from Jaekyung, already having a hard time adjusting to his father’s voice again.
“You look great,” he compliments, but Jeongguk barely hears it, blocking out any words that are even remotely nice.
“Hm.” Jeongguk walks past him, running a hand through his gelled down hair, the loose strand tucked within it.
Now, he's become a complete stranger.
In the corner of the living room, which now really looks like a ballroom, there’s a few camera stands, men standing and adjusting the settings as Jeongguk’s father chats with them.
Don’t fuck this up.
Suddenly, Jeongguk allows himself fully to play along, to play pretend and fully transform into the perfect son, the stranger that haunts him.
He’s smiling big and fake when he walks up to his father, the camera man blinded by it, falling for the act by reciprocating with one back.
“Ah, Minho. This is my youngest, Jeongguk.” He introduces, and Jeongguk bows in politeness.
“It’s nice to meet you, sir.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Jeongguk-ah. Wow, Hyunmin-ah, your son is so polite,” Minho praises loudly for Jeongguk to hear, and it’s then he catches his father smiling brightly, pleased by this act.
“Thank you, Minho.”
Jaekyung steps into the scene as well, placing a hand on Jeongguk’s nape for comfort but the touch barely feels warm.
“Let’s take some pictures!” Minho says to kill the silence, Jeongguk nodding along with his brother and father.
Hyunmin stands in the middle, arms around Jeongguk and Jaekyung on each side.
The flash blinds Jeongguk’s eyes, his smile faltering due to the brightness but then Hyunmin squeezes his waist.
“Smile, boy .” He says through gritted teeth, his smile still so perfect to the eye.
Jeongguk shakes himself out of it, and smiles, at least tries to make it real knowing it’s going to be all over the news tomorrow.
Jeon Hyunmin hosting another charity event and donating millions of won.
He feels sick.
Minho doesn't take too long, only snaps a few to pick from, and as he thanks them, Jeongguk is aware he’s almost free now, free from this hell.
Just a few conversations, and he can forget this ever happened.
One of them is with foreigners. It’s a couple; Sonia and Bill as far as Jeongguk could catch when Hyunmin introduced them proudly. They’re probably sponsors, which makes them very important.
Talking in English isn't Jeongguk’s strongest forte, but with the help of Jori and some late night conversations that are really just training, he knows the basics.
Now is the time to impress not only them but Hyunmin too.
He starts off slow, greeting them politely by bowing and afterwards introducing himself. It’s a little rusty but they seem delighted with the way their eyebrows relax, and their teeth show. His father’s raise in surprise, probably not expecting anything from Jeongguk which is why it somewhat feels like a win when he stumbles through shock.
They walk away, Hyunmin tapping lightly on his back with a flat palm.
Even though he doesn’t say anything, Jeongguk knows it’s positive.
Throughout the night, there’s not much monitoring from Hyunmin, too busy licking the floor for sponsors and important guests. Yet, Jeongguk still finds it suffocating, the whole event, the fake smile he’s been carrying that’s now starting to make his jaw ache.
He needs a break.
Walking outside, he’s surprised to see Jaekyung already occupying the space by smoking.
Maybe not all has changed.
“Hey.”
Jeongguk ignores him, instead leans over the railing and watches the garden he’s spent years playing on. With, and without a soccer ball.
The air smells of tobacco, but Jeongguk prefers it rather than perfume.
Jaekyung doesn't say another word, but he doesn’t move either. He keeps sucking onto the filter, blowing out the smoke after inhaling it into his lungs.
The loud chatter from inside is muffled, Jeongguk blocking his ears out on purpose as he closes his eyes and dreams he’s anywhere other than here.
But the reminder comes back fast when the soft crinkling of the tobacco burning down manages to reach his ears.
“You did well.” Jaekyung compliments but it only feels like a biting reminder to his role. The role he needs to partake in every two years.
Jeongguk remains silent.
“I’m still really sorry—”
“Stop. Just—don’t. Especially here.” Jeongguk shakes his head, and Jaekyung takes another drag instead of slipping another apology.
“I’ll see you back inside.”
And then, Jeongguk is left alone.
He’s able to hear the excitement in his father’s voice by Jaekyung’s appearance, one that’s real before the door closes and brings the sound back inside.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, feeling a sudden burn in his eyes.
Shit.
He doesn’t know how to stop it, the tears already rolling freely despite his face being numb.
They’re warm, a contrast to the biting cold cheeks. Jeongguk rubs them away with a finger, not wanting to mark a reminder on his suit for his father to see.
Fuck. Why can’t he stop crying?
You’re hurting.
Inside voices are such a bitch. Jeongguk shuts them out, breathing through his nose to calm the rapid speed of his heartbeat.
It doesn’t seem to work, the hurt still prominent in his stomach, twisting and tugging to the point Jeongguk thinks he might throw up.
He places a hand over his mouth, the trembling of his lips coming to the surface. He has a hard time telling if it’s due to the tears or the cold. Either way it shows a sign of weakness, and Jeongguk can’t.
Stop. Please stop.
Begging this side of him is harder than he expected. It’s an internal battle, one he thought he was in control of but now it’s slipping, pulling itself free.
Jeongguk keeps roughly wiping his tears, not allowing them to fall and painting his face raw with emotions. He can’t.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
His knuckles have turned white, nails digging into his skin, to the point it’s causing him harm but then he feels a buzz in his pocket.
Maybe it’s Jaekyung asking him to come back inside. Jeongguk already rolls his eyes when he brings his phone up, hand slightly trembling.
The contact name instantly makes his heartbeat go down to a normal pace.
from: ryuuuu
[image.png]
Jeongguk clicks.
It’s a picture of all his roommates, laughing and sticking out their tongues, probably drunk out of their mind. The sight makes Jeongguk laugh, imagining Ryu forcing them to pose in the middle of the dance floor for Jeongguk to see.
Wiping the remaining tears, Jeongguk types back.
to: ryuuuu
okay
how drunk are you guys???
from: ryuuuu
enough to tell you i lwloyr you
i lloiye you jeonggukie
my little babyyyyyyyyy
to: ryuuuu
you drank tequila didn’t you
from: ryuuuu
say it pbak you bitch 😠😠😠😠😠😠
to: ryuuuu
jesus christ
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
okayokay
i love you too
from: ryuuuu
[video]
He clicks.
It’s Ryu, face covering half of the screen, his teeth showcased more than his face and he’s mumbling all kinds of nonsense, the three I love you’s being the only thing Jeongguk catches. Just as he thinks the video is over, Ryu stretches his arm and showcases Jori and Noa, both tipsy but not that drunk, having fun on the dance floor and screaming they miss Jeongguk when Ryu tells them he’ll send it to him.
Giggles slip from Jeongguk’s lips when he sees Ryu walk around, trying to find Hector probably. He’s shouting his name, looking everywhere, and then the camera is pointing towards the ground, Ryu’s beat up converse shoes filling the screen.
“Say hi to Jeonggukie!” Ryu shoves the phone in Hector’s face, his lips swollen and pink from kissing Namjoon, something Ryu clearly interrupted but couldn’t care less about because of tequila.
Hector is giggling while Namjoon hides his face in the crook of his neck, probably shy that they were caught, something that seems too out of their comfort zone to begin with.
“Miss you, Jeonggukie! ” Hector shouts due to the loud music.
Ryu keeps walking then, going back on the dance floor but filming it all, his arm straightened to show his surroundings and it’s then Jeongguk catches a certain someone shoving his tongue down a girl’s throat.
He finds it hilarious, how Ryu is dancing all silly and without a care in the world while Kim Taehyung is almost fucking her against the wall with his tongue.
Jeongguk cringes when he finds himself more intrigued by the two making out than his roommate, and really he blames it on the fact he needs a distraction, to forget where he is and what he’s supposed to do.
It seems to work, because as soon as the video ends, Jeongguk chuckles and shakes his head.
to: ryuuuu
nice background
:)
from: ryuuuu
holy sjjit
i jus realizhed
EWWWWWWWWW
but hoohuyyttttt
but EWWWWWWWKKKKJ
Jeongguk presses a palm to his lips, laughing to the point he tries to dim it.
Jesus fucking christ what a night.
Ryu keeps spamming him with weird selfies where Taehyung is in the background, no shame in how much tongue he’s using. His roommates expressions are hilarious, judgmental with the scrunch in his eyebrows and his lips turned upside down. There’s another one where he exaggerates, bringing two fingers to his mouth and acting as if he’s throwing up. That one makes Jeongguk lose his composure, supporting both elbows back onto the railing as he laughs, shoulders shaking.
to: ryuuuu
thank you
seriously thank you.
from: ryuuuu
for what?&
to: ryuuuu
nothing
just thank you
Thank you for distracting me.
Jeongguk locks his phone, tears no longer in sight, only a bit dry in the corner of his eyes but he’s quick to fix it by wiping his thumb and catching the crumbs.
He adjusts his posture, drawing his shoulders back and then he walks back in, no longer feeling the immense pain.
Notes:
does anyone's balls hurt after this chapter?
thank you for reading, and for being patient! <3
Chapter 11
Summary:
LET'S END THIS FUCKING DROUGHT BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Notes:
!!!super important announcement!!!
helloooo friends, idk if you guys have noticed, but i hid ktg for a little while due to reconstructing and re-writing. i have made some changes in the story because i felt like taekook's dynamic wasn't clear and portrayed the way i wanted it to be. the major changes are in chapter 2, and chapter 6. and i have also changed the tags.
[p.s. you're not obligated to re-read, but if you want the right aspect of taekook's dynamic, i suggest you do.]
lastly, while i do not care about bedroom dynamics in any shape or form, i still want to make it clear that me removing the versatility is because it simply didn't fit. the way i write top jk does not fit ktg!jk as a character and how he is towards taehyung. it therefore caused a huge clash, and mischaracterization that i wasn't happy about. please understand that it's because of this and not because i prefer one dynamic over the other. with that said, enjoy this chapter lovelies. :]
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It’s the first day of March, yet Jeongguk still feels suffocated by his father’s scent.
Jeongguk tries everything. Showers, trying to drown in another smell, but somehow it’s like the toxicity of the expensive perfume has set itself onto his skin. He scrubs his skin in the shower, until a firm pinkish color takes over, but still nothing.
He can smell him as if he’s still got that hold on his shoulder, tight and sturdy. One that keeps him in place, that removes the restlessness that Jeongguk has felt since he was just a little boy with a big dream.
Normally, by now, he should be fine.
Able to breathe properly, not feel a tight pain in his chest and forget, but something is blocking it.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what time it is when he gets out of bed, but by the looks of an empty, quiet apartment and the sunrise still in full bloom, he guesses it’s early.
Trying not to make too much noise, Jeongguk prepares some coffee—placing the electric kettle in the bathroom to avoid any loud sounds to wake up his roommates. It must look fucking ridiculous, Jeongguk standing by his bathroom mirror, waiting for the water to boil.
Thankfully, it doesn't take a long time, and Jeongguk already finds his way back to the kitchen to resume.
When he takes the first sip, he already feels so much better, the warmth infiltrating his system that has been disordered since he took a step on the KTX.
As he waits for his coffee to cool down, Jeongguk goes back into his room, and puts on some training shorts and a thick long sleeved shirt that’s supposed to keep you warm. He hasn’t gone for a run since he came back from Busan—maybe it’s because he hasn’t felt like himself—or even worse, felt as if it wasn’t worth it.
But when he puts on his shoes, those negative thoughts are gone.
And it isn’t until he’s along the Han River, sweaty and warm that he suddenly doesn’t feel as heavy anymore, his father’s scent long gone along with the rest of Busan.
Jeongguk sighs in relief when he realizes he’s found a way out.
Drenched from head to toe, Jeongguk steps inside the apartment, and exchanges his running shoes for home slippers.
“Hey, Guk!”
It’s Ryu, loud from the kitchen while a raunchy song plays on the speakers. It’s in English, and for once Jeongguk is happy that the language isn’t his strongest suit, preventing him from understanding what exactly the woman is singing about. All he knows is that half of the song she’s moaning, and Ryu is lip syncing to it in all seriousness, causing Jeongguk to start laughing.
“What the fuck are you listening to?”
“CPR,” he answers, watching the soup boil in the pot rather than his curious roommate.
“Huh. Interesting choice on an early morning,” Jeongguk admits, leaning over the kitchen island.
“Got laid last night, this is my celebratory breakfast, Jeonggukie.”
Oh?
“Really? Damn, how? You were home all evening yesterday,” Jeongguk states, heavily surprised his roommate still managed to get some without a party or clubbing involved.
“I have my ways.” Ryu winks, grabs a spoon and starts stirring inside the pot.
“Enlighten me.”
“Ha, you’re curious today,” he notes, and it’s true. Usually Jeongguk isn’t.
He shrugs instead of denying it, and then Ryu speaks again.
“Dating apps.”
“Ah.” Jeongguk understands now. “So no more moping?”
“Please.” Ryu shakes his head. “That was all because of the cuffing season. I love being single and having fun. Also I’m secretly saving myself for Gong Yoo.”
Jeongguk grins. “He’s like in his forties.”
Ryu smirks. “Exactly.”
“You’re wild.”
“Do you want any of my Jjampong?” He asks, ignoring Jeongguk’s comment, used to it, before taking a sip to test it out.
“Nah, gonna shower. Had some coffee this morning.”
Ryu rolls his eyes. “That’s not breakfast, Guk.”
“I am well aware, Ryu-ssi.”
“You fucking brat.” His roommate threatens to smack him with the spoon, but Jeongguk is already out of his sight, and opens the bathroom door.
The rest are first up when Jeongguk is drying his hair in a towel, the chatter booming through the closed door. The sounds are muffled, but from what Jeongguk can hear, they both sound tired, Noa a bit less as they talk more than Jori himself.
Walking out in nothing but a towel, Jeongguk didn’t expect to see Namjoon, eating cereal out of a bowl while Hector ruffles his morning hair, calling him cute which almost makes him choke on the milk.
“Morning,” Noa greets, ignoring the obvious tension between the two soccer players.
Jeongguk clears his throat, it going dry at the sight of Namjoon after avoiding him along with the rest of the Red Devils for a solid month. “Morning.”
Namjoon glances upwards for the first time, lips tightening around the spoon—maybe to avoid saying something. Jeongguk is no better, he’s already walking towards his bedroom whereas usually he’d hang around, uncaring of being just in a towel, and tease Jori about his obvious heart eyes for Noa and vise versa. But. Namjoon is there, which removes the possibility.
He knows he can’t avoid them forever, but he’s not ready. Not yet.
His teammate doesn’t seem to leave, set on spending the day with Hector in the apartment with the others, a film from Netflix displayed now on the screen.
Well.
Maybe, he’ll leave once the movie is done. Jeongguk can survive a few hours.
They’re at film number two, and Jeongguk’s patience is running quite thin. He’s hungry, but something keeps holding him back from moving freely around the apartment. What if Namjoon will corner him? Ask him to talk, to explain why he punched Kim Taehyung’s face at the New Year’s party, why he’s been avoiding them, why he won’t apologize…
Jeongguk’s mind feels heavy just thinking about it.
Instead of walking outside, he grabs his phone, and texts Jori.
to: jori
do u know how long namjoon is staying?
from: jori
uh
let me ask hector
give me a second
The bubbles on the screen disappear and reappear for what feels like forever, causing an anticipation to build inside Jeongguk. He’s just about to bite down on his finger nail when Jori sends a new message.
from: jori
he’s staying the night
to: jori
okay
thanks
Okay, so this feels like a dead end. Jeongguk groans against his pillowcase, annoyed by the situation but mostly himself. He hates feeling scared, wary of a situation he started but it’s too late. It’s gone too far, and Jeongguk just simply doesn’t feel ready.
Instead of walking out, and eating the remains of the Jjampong that Ryu made, Jeongguk gets up and decides to rearrange his closet. Truth be told, it doesn’t need any fixing, Jeongguk is quite a neat person, but somehow he sees a way out of it, and already starts pulling some clothes out.
Maybe he’ll find something he doesn’t like, and give some to Noa, aware that they’ve struggled finding clothing that fits their frame, and to avoid body dysphoria.
Jeongguk plugs his headphones into his ears and gets to work.
Most of his clothes are in black, hoodies and t-shirts and since he has so many, he leaves one of each aside for Noa, and continues to dig further.
Head unwillingly fitting itself inside, Jeongguk digs his arm all the way inside, and grabs whatever his hand manages to catch. The material is soft—it’s the first thing Jeongguk notes before it gets revealed but then—
Oh. Wow.
There it is. The ugly sweater, with the bold letters spelling out Nut Buster. It’s uglier than Jeongguk remembers, and suddenly the high pitched laugh from Jimin rings his ears again when he had first seen him that night.
The night that turned his whole world around.
A chill runs down his spine when the words echo—words Jeongguk thought he had forgotten.
“Bet my cock could make you shut up.”
Jeongguk scoffs despite his body feeling hot at the reminder. As minutes pass, he feels like he can smell the storage room again, feel the hot breath from Taehyung and see how wet his lips were when he had spoken such filth into the space between them.
Clearing his throat, Jeongguk throws the sweater back inside the closet, wanting it out of his sight.
Ignoring that shelf, Jeongguk continues to sort through, humming lowly as the music takes over.
Two hours later, Jeongguk’s stomach is growling violently, so much that even the loud music in his ears aren’t able to cover it.
That’s it.
The best thing he can do now, is to go to the convenience store, and collect a big amount of snacks to fill his appetite, and eat outside even though his home is not even ten minutes away. It’s fine—really, the chairs out front aren’t that bad, some might even call them comfortable if they’re as desperate as Jeongguk.
Settling on his (bad) idea, he grabs a hoodie from his closet and pulls it over his head along with a beanie that hides most of his hair, except for the ones in the back.
The weather of March is less chilly, the warmth of Spring around the corner which is why Jeongguk leaves in just that, feeling fine.
Jori is the only one to send him an empathetic smile when he notices the disappearing act happening once again. Noa notices too, understanding that this situation is more layered than they themselves know. Namjoon and Hector don’t even notice, and Ryu is too busy ordering dinner to make himself aware.
In Jeongguk’s eyes, it goes by smoothly.
The convenience store’s sign is blinding half of Jeongguk’s face when he steps inside, and immediately speed walks to the different kimbaps, and cold dishes the place has to offer.
He grabs a few, some with different ingredients, and checks for the date to avoid getting sick. Arms fully stacked, he makes a beeline to the cashier, and greets her politely while placing the huge amount of cheap food on the table. She stares for a solid minute, keeping quiet while scanning yet her eyes betray her when she keeps sneaking glances at Jeongguk—a sign of internal judgment.
Luck with convenience store workers never seems to go his way.
“Thank you,” he says when he retrieves the items after paying, her tone is flat and quiet but Jeongguk could care less, his stomach throwing a hissy fit that has his full attention currently.
Not looking around him, Jeongguk sits on the first chair he finds, and leans over letting the kimbaps fall forward. His hands are shaking due to lack of nutrition, making it hard to remove the wrapper slowly but Jeongguk is dead set on achieving it, and when he finally does he groans in victory, biting down on the spicy rice and seaweed.
He barely manages to swallow when he’s interrupted.
“Jeongguk-ah.”
Looking up, he sees Yoongi sit two chairs away from him, occupying his mouth with a cigarette.
“H-Hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles, still chewing on his food, cheeks puffy that he covers his hand over his face in embarrassment.
“Wow, no longer ignoring me I see.”
Shit. Fuck. The guilt is visible again, clogging his throat, and giving him nausea despite his stomach in desperate need for nourishment. It’s so visible, Jeongguk thinks his face will turn red from keeping his mouth closed, from keeping all this guilt inside.
Too busy dealing with an internal battle, Jeongguk almost misses hearing what Yoongi says.
“Missed you, kid.”
All collected thoughts shatter in an instant, and Jeongguk allows defeat. “I’m—” He finishes chewing before continuing. “I’m sorry.”
“Mhm, I know,” Yoongi says, inhaling the tobacco, keeping himself seated with the distance.
A silence falls over them, Jeongguk staring at the food in front of him, in doubt if he should pack it and leave or endure the emptiness that’s thick, and bothersome between his teammate and him.
He doesn’t get to settle on a decision, Yoongi standing up and now occupying the seat in front of him, the cigarette disappearing into almost nothing in an orange hue in his right hand. The smell reminds him of Jaekyung, but Jeongguk removes the thought when Yoongi opens his mouth to ask something Jeongguk has found himself running from.
“What’s going on with you? What the hell happened out there?”
Jeongguk still can’t look directly at him—it’s the guilt. Clearly he’s not ready—and maybe he’ll never be.
“Jeongguk,” Yoongi calls out again, and somehow that manages to bring some courage in him to look at his teammate properly for the first time in months.
“I’m worried—everyone is.” Yoongi is someone who always knows what to say, but Jeongguk can tell that he’s struggling with this, trying to find words that don't seem to reach him as easily—and maybe that’s why Jeongguk opens his mouth, and starts rolling his tongue in his mouth.
“I—” Jeongguk squeezes his hand around the kimbap for comfort. “I was angry.”
There it is. The truth, bare and laid in front of Yoongi in front of a fucking convenience store.
“I know,” Yoongi answers quickly for comfort, almost hugging the words.
“He fucked my friend.” Jeongguk’s mouth feels weird after saying it.
Yoongi takes another drag, but doesn’t interrupt Jeongguk, allowing him to use this space to speak freely.
“He—he fucked her, didn’t feel an ounce of shame—of…I don’t know—awareness?” Jeongguk questions, in doubt if that’s exactly the word he’s looking for, but it’s too late, it’s out there.
Staying quiet, Yoongi takes it as a signal to give an input. He blows out the smoke sideways to avoid it landing directly on Jeongguk’s face, and flicks the tobacco off with his thumb. “I spoke with him. He didn’t know you were friends, Guk.”
Jeongguk scoffs.
“I know that’s no excuse—but that explains why he could even do it. Jeongguk, Taehyung would never do that, to you, to anyone really.”
Before thinking ahead, Jeongguk answers bitterly. “That’s hard to believe.”
Tightening his lips, Yoongi stays quiet, probably digging for the right words, and Jeongguk continues feeding himself in the meantime.
“I get why you’re angry at him, I really do, Jeongguk. And so is he, with you.”
Jeongguk chuckles in irony, his head having a hard time wrapping around the fact that Taehyung feels anger over a situation he started. “I don’t—”
“He has his own reasons, just like you do, Jeongguk,” Yoongi interrupts, trying to make things more clear.
“Whatever.” He shrugs nonchalantly, taking another big bite.
Yoongi watches him as he finishes his cigarette, the butt now squashed in the ashtray in between them. As the smoke joins the wind, Jeongguk is almost finished chewing on the rice and seaweed.
“Listen, kid, I know you and Taehyung you—” He licks his lips. “You two never really got along.”
Jeongguk tries to withhold the irritation that spikes at the reminder of what happened, what started everything .
“He—”
“I know Guk,” Yoongi interrupts, trying to dim the anger that Jeongguk deeply feels. It’s like he’s brought back to the first semester where he completely lost it.
“He fucking started it,” Jeongguk allows himself to say, Yoongi nodding at the statement that’s well—the truth.
“And I wish I could tell you why he did, but Jeongguk, right now you’re both affecting the team.” Yoongi points out the guilt Jeongguk has felt since the beginning of January, and it stings more than he thought hearing it out loud.
“This ignoring the team act has got to stop.”
He’s not wrong. Practice starts next week, and sooner or later they’re faced with the team from Ilsan and playing the first match of the season. There’s no time. Maybe that’s why the guilt has grown into a well formed clump that rests painfully in Jeongguk’s chest—making it difficult to breathe properly.
“I know…I know, hyung,” Jeongguk says, head sunk low to avoid the stern gaze from his teammate.
“So make it right.”
Jeongguk frowns. “How?”
“Apologize.”
Fuck.
The nerves in his system are so out of control that he keeps fidgeting with the wrapper from the kimbap, and his half dried skin on his bottom lip. Jeongguk is restless, this whole apologizing idea is making him so fucking restless.
He can’t. He won’t.
Sure, Jeongguk will apologize to his teammates but what good will it do to apologize to Kim?! Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
And, it’s almost like Yoongi can read it. The doubt.
“Jeongguk. Do you want to win the upcoming season?”
There's not an ounce of surprise in Yoongi when he nods a firm yes to his question.
“Then apologize.”
“I’d rather choke, hyung,” Jeongguk admits, continuing to touch the plastic wrapper.
“Jeongguk.”
“No seriously.” He tightens his grip, the noise of the plastic loud and bothersome. “What the fuck do you want me to say?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “What you just said to me. It’s two words, Jeongguk. You’re not going to die by saying it.”
Yeah, two words that hold immense power.
Jeongguk laughs. He can’t help it. This whole thing brings him into disbelief. Why should he apologize when he’s clearly not in the wrong?
“Right—” He doesn’t stop, finding it all too comical. “I’ll say something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry for punching you after you punched me, and fucked my friend.’”
Yoongi’s jaw clenches. “Jeongguk…” It sounds like a warning, but Jeongguk is seeing red, seeing the exact same red he saw back at the New Year’s Party when Taehyung had nodded his head in confirmation.
“You hear how stupid that sounds, hyung?”
“It sounds stupid because you’re apologizing for the wrong thing.”
Everything stops. The wrapper unfolds in Jeongguk’s hand when he loosens his grip around it. He blinks, confused and taken aback.
“Wh-what?”
Yoongi squeezes at his temples, probably exhausted from even having this conversation in the first place. “I already told you, Jeongguk, what Taehyung did had nothing to do with you.”
“But—”
“It felt like it, I know.” Yoongi sighs. “But he didn’t. He could give less of a fuck who you’re friends with, Jeongguk. Just like you are with him.”
Jeongguk hates to admit it, but Yoongi is right. He could give less of a flying fuck who Taehyung talks to, and who he fucks.
“Mhm.” He settles on instead of firmly agreeing, which would likely result in him drowning himself in embarrassment. “Still doesn’t give him the right to throw a punch. Should I still apologize for that, hyung?”
Yoongi smacks his lips. “No, you shouldn’t. But you and I both know Taehyung would never throw a punch just ‘cause.”
The conversation is tiring Jeongguk. He hates how Yoongi is clearly prevented from saying something that explains everything, from Taehyung’s actions that night to why he’s defending him.
“Hyung. Just tell me.”
Yoongi shakes his head. “I can’t. It’s not my place to tell.”
Jeongguk grows annoyed, and his patience turns thin. He’s unable to stop himself from throwing a punch down to the table. “Bullshit!”
“Jeongguk.” Yoongi brings a hand to his shoulder, squeezing softly to dim the nerves that lost control. Jeongguk takes a deep breath, and locks eyes with his teammate. “I know you didn’t do anything on purpose, but that doesn’t remove the fact that an apology is needed.”
He’s right. Jeongguk hates Yoongi for being right because that leaves him to do exactly what he doesn’t want to do.
Apologize to Kim fucking Taehyung.
Jesus Christ, Jeongguk feels sick.
He swallows a lump and nods, unable to speak. It’s like his tongue has intertwined itself in his mouth, preventing him from saying anything.
“Good. I’ll see you at practice on Monday.”
Then, Yoongi gets up and is out of his sight, disappearing further down the hill.
Instantly Jeongguk falls forward, his head knocking down onto the hard material of the table. He inhales shakingly, the solution a hard pill to swallow.
But Jeongguk wants—no he needs to win.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath when he realizes he’s going to do it.
⚽⚽⚽
As soon as Jeongguk steps out of class, it’s pouring down. Everyone is bringing out their umbrellas, rushing to the bus that arrives at the bus stop near campus—others run to find shelter and Jeongguk curses when he feels the big drops fall down on his clothes.
You never truly know what to expect with the weather in Seoul, and today seems to be one of those days. Due to so much rain, and people rushing home, there’s a rush of pedestrian traffic that he catches while running on the sidewalk, deciding against taking the bus.
Whatever.
It’s a fifteen minute walk from campus. With him running it’ll be five tops.
Hair wet, and sweatshirt now completely soaked, Jeongguk makes it into the building, threading a hand into his hair to push it back, the strands dripping onto his face. His legs are shaking due to the cold catching up with him, and therefore he presses on the button to the elevator, waiting in silence.
It arrives not long after, Jeongguk stepping inside and fishing his phone out from his pocket to assure it hasn’t gotten any damage. Just as he’s about to press the button, a hand blocks the doors from closing, grabbing Jeongguk’s immediate attention.
The metal doors break open, revealing none other than Taehyung with an arm around a guy whose face is half hidden thanks to a baseball cap. They’re both soaked from head to toe, Taehyung’s pants clinging to his thigh—and other areas which Jeongguk forces himself to ignore. His red snapback is in his hand, wet hair pushed back to expose his forehead. Jeongguk can’t help but think back to when he had seen Taehyung cover his bruised face with his long hair while Jeongguk was drunk on beer. Yet now? He looks confident, and doesn’t glance at Jeongguk once, entering despite the obvious tension that’s thicker than ever.
Jeongguk resumes checking his phone after pressing the right button to his floor. Taehyung and the nameless guy don’t really talk much, but they’re being loud . Jeongguk doesn’t even have to look up to know they’re making out roughly against the mirror inside the elevator. It sounds wet—sloppy too, and Jeongguk wants this elevator ride immediately over so he can take a warm shower and avoid getting sick a few days before practice begins.
He doesn’t mean to but Jeongguk sighs loudly in relief when the doors finally open, and he gets to step out.
Just as the doors are about to close, the stranger starts talking.
“What’s his deal?”
“Fuck whatever his deal is.”
It’s the last thing Jeongguk overhears before the doors shut, and the rumble of the elevator fills the silence in the hallway.
“Fuck whatever his deal is . Fucking ridiculous,” Jeongguk mocks under his breath as he arrives at his door, pressing the code until the beeper sound indicates the door is open. The warmth from the apartment immediately envelops him into a hug, his body trembling when he takes off his shoes and drops his bag onto the floor.
“Jeongguk? Is that you?”
It’s Hector, calling from the living room, sitting on the couch with his computer on his lap.
“It’s me. I’m gonna shower real quick, it’s pouring down right now.”
Hector shakes his head. “Yeah, I saw. Dude, you’re worse than me because how in the world do you always forget an umbrella?”
Jeongguk grins, aware Hector is being deeply sarcastic. “Hey—it’s the last of my worries, okay? Plus, it’s just a little drizzle.”
His roommate turns to face him, the screen left untouched. Hector grimaces when he catches the different shade of color on Jeongguk’s clothing. “Jeongguk—that’s not just a little drizzle. You’re fucking soaked.”
“Meh, I can barely feel a thing. Are the rest home?” Jeongguk asks while taking off his hoodie, his t-shirt just as wet.
“Ryu’s at work, and Jori’s in his room, he’s talking with his dad right now.”
“Alright, good to know.” He’s about to open the bathroom door when he’s interrupted by Hector.
“Hey, Jeongguk?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we talk? When you’re done?”
He has a feeling what this is about, and therefore he nods. “Sure, I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay, great.”
It isn’t until Jeongguk’s changed, a towel hanging off his shoulders to dry the ends of his wet hair that he sits down, joining Hector on their couch.
“Hey,” Jeongguk says as he folds both legs.
Hector removes his attention from his screen, placing the laptop aside to stare at his roommate. “Hey, sorry.”
“What—uh…” Jeongguk clears his throat. “What’s up?”
Truth is, he has an idea. Despite it, he still waits for Hector to speak, his friend always needing a good minute to place his thoughts properly before speaking. It’s one of the many traits in Hector that Jeongguk finds himself admiring.
“I wanted to apologize—about bringing Namjoon over when you guys aren’t exactly on the best speaking terms. I made it awkward, and I should’ve warned you beforehand. I’m really sorry, Jeongguk.”
God, the guilt creeps back up into Jeongguk’s throat. An even bigger lump than the one he experienced in front of the convenience store when faced by Yoongi.
It’s more personal with Hector. He not only lives with him, but he’s one of his best friends, one he can lean on, one he’d fight for—someone he considers his family. So, yeah, the guilt feels like fucking tons, because due to Jeongguk’s ignorance towards the team, his friend has had to tip-toe around Jeongguk because of his relationship with Namjoon.
Fuck.
Jeongguk’s such a shit friend.
“Why—why are you apologizing? If anything, I should. I’m—” Jeongguk looks down, shame weighing onto his back that it’s almost pushing him down into this position. “I feel terrible, Hector. I should’ve fixed it sooner, and I’m sorry that it got so out of hand that you had to tip-toe and avoid inviting him over. Seriously—I feel fucking terrible.”
“Jeongguk.”
He looks back up. “No—I’m such a shit friend. Please, please don’t apologize for this. It’s my mess. And I’m going to fix it,” Jeongguk interrupts, stubborn in his apology that it catches Hector off guard.
“Hey, stop. I don’t like when you’re being too hard on yourself. You were in a tough situation, okay? And fucking drunk. No one acts rationally or with the correct morals when under the influence, so stop blaming yourself so much for that night.” Hector doesn’t hesitate to place a firm hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder for comfort.
Jeongguk sighs. “Yeah, no I know. It still doesn’t make it okay to ignore them like that—I don’t know. I’m embarrassed, and terrifyingly angry.”
Hector raises an eyebrow. “Angry? At Taehyung?”
At myself.
“ Not really anymore—it’s a lot right now, complicated too, but I’ll make it right.”
“Okay.” Hector doesn’t push, knows when to and when it’s not invited. Jeongguk’s grateful.
“Wanna make dinner together? I think it’ll be a while before Jori’s done, and I could use an extra hand.”
“‘Cause you don’t know how to cook.”
Hector gasps. “Wow. That’s cold, dude.”
Jeongguk shrugs, a smile curving naturally on his lips. Hector seems to notice, eyes lightening up by his roommate’s happiness.
“I’ll take this as a yes, though.”
“Okay—fine. What are we making?”
“Uh…” Hector hesitates when they walk inside the kitchen, glaring inside the cabinets. Jeongguk opens the fridge, quickly catching onto ingredients that can make an easy kimchi fried rice.
“Kimchi fried rice?”
Hector nods eagerly, his hunger visible at the mention of the dish. “Sounds great.”
As Jeongguk grabs everything, Hector stays quiet, already having found the rice and pressed the needed buttons on the rice cooker to make it perfect.
“I am still sorry for not warning you he’d be there.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Would you stop that? You live here, okay? You can invite whoever you want over. This is your home, as much as it’s mine.”
Hector shakes his head. “Okay. Okay, fine. You’re right. I’ll stop! I’ll stop.”
“Good,” Jeongguk says with finality while waiting for the pan to heat up. “How are you guys? All good?”
“Yeah, we’re—” Hector starts blushing. “It’s more than good, it’s amazing actually. Like, with Namjoon I’m learning more about myself, and exploring more than I did before. Like, for example, I’ve been to Hong Kong more than I can count, but going there with him, for him to meet my mom and all, I saw so much I’ve never seen before. Isn’t that crazy?!”
Jeongguk hums, focusing on cooking while allowing Hector to talk further about his relationship.
“I think that’s when I realized that he’s very special. Not just to me, but you know, as a person.” Hector tries to hide his smile, but it’s hard with his hands busy cutting open the plastic bag storing the kimchi.
“Yeah, Namjoon-hyung is special,” Jeongguk notes, and it’s then it dawns upon him.
He misses his teammates.
The teammates he hadn’t really indulged into knowing further due to Taehyung taking so much space, limiting Jeongguk’s options in terms of avoidance. The teammates Jeongguk was certain were just that but they’ve become a lot more.
He considers them as friends.
Fuck. Jeongguk can’t believe he’s made such a mess.
Hector is quick to notice the drop in Jeongguk’s expression when he internally reminisces memories from the cabin, and how training afterwards had become more fun, and the locker room conversations.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I just—I guess I miss them. The team.” Jeongguk can’t believe he’s admitting this after he’d done everything to prevent growing closer the whole first semester. Although that wouldn’t have happened if Taehyung hadn’t—
“Yeah, I get that. I’m sure the first practice will be fine. I’ve talked with Joonie about it, and yeah, he’s angry but he’s also really upset that you haven’t reached out. So, I don’t know, my advice to you is to reach out when you’re ready, y’know, make it right and all.”
“You make it sound easy.”
Hector tsks. “‘Cause I know the Red Devils wouldn’t hold a grudge when the situation is clearly layered.” He does make a great point. It goes beyond some brutal backyard fight.
As the aroma of the kimchi fills the kitchen, Jeongguk side hugs his friend, and whispers. “Thanks, Hector.”
It’s Sunday.
For Jeongguk, it’s one day until practice. One day until he has to apologize to the whole team—which includes Taehyung. Sadly. But, Yoongi’s right. It’s the only way to make it right, to make things go back to even remotely normal, and to have the team back on track.
Apologizing to Taehyung is probably going to be the most selfless act Jeongguk will ever do.
And knowing he’s only a day from doing it, sets off his nerves in the worst way. They’re jittery in his system, causing an uncomfortable restlessness, and it seems to catch Ryu’s attention when he interrupts Jeongguk mid-drinking his coffee on the couch, staring into nothing.
“Something’s up,” he notes, making Jeongguk deeply aware of how well he knows him.
Jeongguk doesn’t deny it by remaining quiet.
“What’s going on, Jeonggukie? Hm?” Ryu pokes his sides to lighten him up, raising an eyebrow when Jeongguk quickly glances at him but doesn’t let a word slip out just yet.
“Is my coffee shit? Have I lost my wonderful coffee making skills?” His roommate jokes to bring out a reaction. It works, Jeongguk holding back a laugh by tightening his lips only for it to collapse when he catches Ryu’s expressive frown.
“Shut up.”
“Come on, I know something’s up. Wanna talk about it?”
Jeongguk takes one more sip before allowing himself to shake his head. “Not really. I’ll be okay.”
Ryu squints his eyes. “Hm, okay.”
It goes silent, until Ryu’s eyes lighten up when Jeongguk’s almost done with his morning coffee.
“We should go out. Do something we haven’t done in a while—just me and you. Get those nerves back in place. What do you think?”
A distraction could be a good idea. Bring Jeongguk’s thoughts elsewhere for now, maybe make him more grounded before the big day tomorrow.
“Sure, why not? What do you have in mind?”
Ryu ponders as he fishes out his phone, and looks up something that Jeongguk doesn’t catch.
“How about the arcade in Jongno district? The one we always went to during the first semester? Hm? That could be fun.”
Instantly, Jeongguk is brought back to first semester, his style a little bit different than it is now, and his hair a lot shorter. He remembers how he and Ryu had gotten lost after intro-week, and magically found an arcade not that far from campus. They spent a solid three hours playing back and forth between video games, and sport games. Jeongguk had ended up winning most of them.
“Let’s do it,” Jeongguk says, not hesitant in his answer.
Truthfully, going out would make his mind less frizzy and overwhelmed, along with his nerves, and most importantly, it would help.
“Great. It tells me they’re opening around lunch time, so, wanna watch something while we wait?”
“Okay, sure thing.”
The arcade is filled when Ryu and Jeongguk arrive, a lot of other young people having the same idea as them, and already occupying most of the game consoles and sports games.
Instead of waiting awkwardly in line behind some, Ryu suggests going to the convenience store beside the arcade and grab a drink. Jeongguk follows with, agreeing quickly when the crowd messes with his head.
The weather today is soothing. There’s some sun today, along with mild wind, which makes it the perfect weather for a thin jacket and some pants. Jeongguk feels the breeze on his face when he sits outside the store with Ryu, the plastic cup with ice cubes filled with a peach flavored drink. The first sip is refreshing, Jeongguk sighing in relief as he looks out on the street, and the passerby.
When Jeongguk turns to look at his roommate, he’s reminded of the fact that he got home late last night due to work—which is very unusual.
“Hey, how was work yesterday? You came home at like…” Jeongguk wonders for a bit before proceeding. “Seven thirty.”
“Eight, but y’know, close enough.” Ryu grins when Jeongguk tightens his lips in embarrassment. “It was shit, dude. Minjun, my co-worker, ditched me last minute, so I had to close the store, and clean up a shit ton of mess made by some girls who could not decide on which size they wanted.”
“Retail sounds hard as fuck.”
“It really is. I hate it.” Ryu shakes his head.
“Also, that sucks…Is he even allowed to do that?” Jeongguk asks.
Ryu sighs. “Well, no, not exactly, but I promised him a free pass ‘cause he helped me out once. So, he called in sick, and I told our boss that I didn’t need extra help when she offered.”
Jeongguk takes a sip. “Hm, that’s brave of you. But still, what could possibly be more important than showing up to work?!” He can’t help but grow annoyed on his best friend’s behalf.
Ryu winces, and Jeongguk catches on.
“What?”
“Uh…” Ryu scratches his chin—a habit he does when he feels stuck on what to say.
“Just say it.”
“I feel like if I say it, it’s gonna be worse than saying the name Voldemort.”
Jeongguk can’t help but grimace due to the ridiculousness behind it. “Please—it can’t be that bad.”
Ryu still doesn’t budge, so Jeongguk pushes.
“Say it! Come on, don’t be like that.”
Finally, his roommate gives in. “Okay! Okay…” He adjusts himself in his seat, crossing his legs instead of having them spread. “He ditched me for a hookup.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “That’s it? That’s not even b—”
“It was Taehyung.”
Instantly, Jeongguk’s face drops, and his expression contorts to immediate disgust. “Ew.”
“Eh—could be worse.”
Jeongguk frowns. “What is that supposed to mean? It is worse.”
“To you.”
The urge to roll his eyes grows. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Still doesn’t make it okay.”
Ryu shakes his head. “Only if he hadn’t been fucked good—then yes, I agree. But he did. So, let’s applaud our guy, okay? He took the chance when he got it.”
Jeongguk tries not to snort—but he almost can’t hold it in, because Ryu has got to be joking, right? A chance?
Unfortunately, Jeongguk can’t hide his judgment well, Ryu sighing loudly with a small smile. “You’re being mean, Jeonggukie.”
“I’m not! Good—good for him! Also, sorry, did you just say he—? How the fuck do you know? Don’t tell me he—”
“He sent me a picture after leaving Taehyung’s place, and gave me a full review. He has zero shame.” Ryu laughs while reminiscing, already pulling up his phone to show Jeongguk, and before he can deny wanting to see it, the electronic device is being shoved into his face.
It isn’t Minjun’s face that makes Jeongguk choke, nor the raw description of how sore he feels, and how big Taehyung is, but his attire. He’s wearing a baseball cap, one Jeongguk has seen before—
“Holy shit,” Jeongguk curses under his breath when it dawns upon him.
“What?”
“I—I saw him.”
Ryu grows more confused. “Wait what?”
“In our elevator. He was—” Jeongguk rubs his fingers against his nose to avoid laughing, taking a deep breath before explaining further. “He was making out with Kim.”
“Shut up, you’re joking.”
“I swear! It was so—” Jeongguk suppresses a laugh, but it’s getting harder when he’s brought back to that moment. How awfully loud they were, how Jeongguk couldn’t help but cringe by the situation. “Bad. It was bad.”
Ryu scoffs. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you haven’t gotten laid in months.”
“Fuck off, that’s not why.”
“Mhm, right.”
“I’m serious. It was just so…loud and—and wet .”
“Are we really surprised that Kim Taehyung is a tonguer?”
Jeongguk laughs at the creative word Ryu uses, which frankly is the truth and works in full excellence. “You’re right. Our chat has literal proof.”
“God—don’t remind me. I can’t get over how oblivious I was to someone getting tongue fucked behind me.”
They laugh in unison, and finish their drinks before returning to the arcade. The crowd is already, surprisingly, less unbearable than it was an hour ago.
“Are you ready to lose, Jeonggukie?”
“Oh come on, you and I both know I’ll beat you in every game.”
Ryu scoffs in offense. “Hey! No time for show-offs. And, who knows? I might.”
“Alright, after you, Ryu-ssi.”
“Brat.”
⚽⚽⚽
It’s today.
The day Jeongguk has to put his pride aside to make things right. The day he’ll break the silence between Taehyung and him.
A part of him wishes he had classes before practice, but due to the upcoming season nearing, Coach Lee and Jihoon had made sure to schedule it in the mornings.
To warm up, Jeongguk is on a jog near the Han River, getting his blood pumping and his body ready for what’s to come. It’s a good way to release the tension in his body, and to allow all thoughts to float away, even if it means for an hour.
Ryu, Jori and Hector are already up when Jeongguk is back. Ryu’s drinking his morning coffee, while Jori is preparing some eggs for breakfast. Hector is on his computer, probably checking up on future assignments before having to go back on campus.
It’s a comfortable morning, and none of them question Jeongguk’s nervous state. They’re all very aware of what’s to come, Jeongguk explaining a bit of the issue to them last night when he and Ryu had returned from the arcade.
“Mornin’,” Ryu calls out when Jeongguk steps inside the apartment, house slippers on his feet.
“Hey, smells good, Jori.”
Jori turns around, eyes no longer on the pan but rather on Jeongguk, and he’s smiling widely. “Thanks, Jeongoo. We were actually just about to talk about my birthday party next week.”
“Oh yeah—what are you thinking so far?” Jeongguk asks while making himself comfortable on the chair by the kitchen island.
“Nothing too big? Maybe just some nice dinner, and then we just hang out and drink until people tap out.”
Ryu butts in. “What about gifts? Do you want to open them before we eat, or after?”
Jori shakes his head. “I don’t know, I’ve never really cared about gifts. Just want you guys present, that’s all—”
Everyone makes a sound in complaint, Jori widening his eyes. “What?”
“Oh come on, of course we want to give you a gift. You’re turning twenty-two, okay? That’s a big moment!”
“It’s not a need!”
“Shut up, and make your eggs,” Ryu says with a strained voice, not wanting to hear Jori make up excuses.
Jeongguk laughs at his roommates, Hector no better even though his eyes don’t leave the screen once. The conversation takes another turn, and Jeongguk takes it upon himself to get ready for practice.
Walking towards the field, Jeongguk’s blood bubbles in excitement, knowing what’s to come. Matches, competition, challenges, and most importantly, winning.
But before any of that can happen, Jeongguk has to gain strength to enter the locker rooms. He’s the last one to arrive—showering a little longer than usual to drag it out, yet now there’s nowhere to run, and definitely nowhere to hide.
Inhaling sharply, Jeongguk pulls the handle, the door opening and exposing him to his teammates. All of them are almost dressed, other’s still too busy chatting more than finding their jersey in the bottom of their duffel bag.
Namjoon’s the first one Jeongguk catches sight of, his head already turned towards the door, and before he can apologize, Namjoon interrupts him.
“Jeongguk, you made it.”
“Yeah—hey hyung,” Jeongguk greets as he removes the strap from his shoulder. “I’m really sorry. About everything.”
A hand lands on Jeongguk’s shoulder, a firm, comforting squeeze bringing immediate warmth and calm to his nerves. Namjoon stares at him with forgiveness, but it still helps when he says it out loud.
“It’s okay, I forgave you a while ago. Let’s talk more about it later. I’m gonna see Hector after practice either way.”
Jeongguk nods, smiling before looking around to find—
“Jeon.”
Taehyung’s in front of him now, shirtless, and shorts clinging to his thighs with his jersey in hand. Jeongguk is still processing the fact that he spoke first—that Taehyung broke the silence when it should’ve been him.
Ignoring the obvious tension and confusion on Jeongguk’s expression, Taehyung stretches out his arm, hand now mere inches away from Jeongguk’s stomach.
“Truce?”
What the fuck?
“Uh—”
This was not supposed to happen. No. Taehyung was supposed to be a bitch about it, ignorant with a prominent cold shoulder and Jeongguk would’ve been the one to be the bigger person and apologized. But this. This breaks the plan—this creates imbalance within Jeongguk.
Fuck him for playing the bigger person. It almost makes it look like he’s winning yet again, even though it would've felt like a complete loss to speak first.
Kim Taehyung is messing with his head, and Jeongguk has had enough. The anger is burning red again, almost mirroring the one from the New Year’s party, and really Jeongguk wants to spit on his face, maybe give him a new black eye to give him a lesson yet—
“Truce.” Jeongguk grabs his hand, jaw clenched when Taehyung’s smile curves widely. It’s fake, a mockery towards Jeongguk and a big ‘fuck you’ to his face for getting there first.
“Finally,” Yoongi says, and cuts off the rising tension between them. The touch from Taehyung’s hand is quickly removed, Jeongguk feeling as if he can breathe properly for the first time since he’s stepped inside the locker rooms.
“You better hurry, Jeon,” Taehyung says while putting on his jersey, pecs bouncing by the action. “Practice starts in five.”
“Fuck off, I know,” Jeongguk spits back, and doesn’t waste another second, hands already pulling his soccer uniform from his duffel bag.
As the room empties out, Taehyung stays behind and stares intensely at Jeongguk changing, grinning whenever Jeongguk glances at him with a permanent frown decorating his face.
But he doesn’t speak until it’s just them left, and Jeongguk is aware it’s done on purpose. He catches it quickly with the way the grin drops, Taehyung’s gaze turning piercing.
“Don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for what you said,” Taehyung starts, straightening his back to assert dominance to the conversation—if you can even call it that.
“What t—”
“You need to learn to control that fucking mouth, Jeon. All that’s coming out of it is complete shit.” Taehyung begins to walk away, done with whatever he’s doing, but Jeongguk isn’t about to allow him to leave so easily.
“And you need to learn how to hit better,” Jeongguk smirks when Taehyung’s mouth drops slightly in offense. “What? Did I hit a spot, Kim?”
Taehyung steps closer, enough for his breath to fan against Jeongguk’s face. The close proximity is too much for Jeongguk to bear—his heartbeat picking up a rather fast rhythm.
“Yeah, you wish.” Taehyung’s gaze lowers to Jeongguk’s lips, his pupils growing wider. “If you keep talking with your mouth like that I’ll start to think you want me to fuck it.”
Jeongguk’s breath hitches at the vulgarity, and for a second he feels like he’s back into the storage room, discovering that Taehyung’s been thinking about him in another setting.
Taehyung’s just about to speak again when Jeongguk jabs a finger into his chest, pushing him back. “Don’t even think about it, Kim.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m not. But I bet you will.” He winks, and then he leaves Jeongguk alone with his thoughts.
The grass is green and fresh on the field when Jeongguk steps on it, Coach Lee smiling widely by seeing one of his favorite players again.
“My Golden Boy!” He cheerfully exclaims, patting Jeongguk's back in excitement, bringing him back down to the right mindset.
To not fail.
There’s chatter around them, everyone catching up with each other after the off season, but it’s soon cut off with a whistle from Jihoon.
“Alright, boys, listen up!” Coach Lee shouts, clapping his hands in the process. “There’s five weeks till the first match against Ilsan, which marks the beginning of the season, and means we’ll be practicing a lot more than before. Jihoon will hand you the schedule after practice, and if any of you can’t make it on certain days due to assignments, please let me know so we can find a way around it. I want you guys to be strong on the field out there, but also with your minds. I’ll also try to be as available as possible, but if anything, Jihoon is there as well. Now, let’s start off easy with some warm-ups, and do a practice match to get back into it.”
Everyone exclaims a firm answer before running out further on the field to get a proper start. Jeongguk is jogging towards the middle, about to stretch when he feels an arm around him.
“Jeonggukie. It’s been forever.”
It’s Hoseok, looking at him with his heart shaped smile. Jeongguk leans into the touch, finding himself missing his team a lot more than he thought.
“Hey, sorry, hyung.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s really none of my business.”
Jeongguk smiles gratefully. Hoseok’s always been around, and someone who never meddles into somebody’s business unless they bring it towards him for help. So, truly, it’s no wonder that he’s not questioning anything, and instead enjoying the fact that they’re back again, active and together.
“Still. I’m a terrible teammate,” Jeongguk can’t help but add, the guilt still sizzling on the surface.
“Yah. One more bad word, and I’ll throw you over my shoulder.”
It’s supposed to be a threat, but Jeongguk doesn’t take it seriously because the truth is, he’s too heavy to be carried like a rag doll by his hyung. He ends up laughing by picturing it, Hoseok smiling knowingly due to his plan working out.
Jihoon catches up with the teammates, Coach Lee hanging behind to observe from the benches.
“Okay, warm up boys! Come on, let’s go!”
The team does as told, doing some classic moves like jumping jacks, running in place and stretching their limbs ready.
When their blood feels warm, Jihoon assigns them into two teams.
To differentiate, they’re handed an overthrow shirt that smells like it’s been put into a blender with multiple people's sweat.
Jeongguk is grateful he doesn’t have to wear one, and his smile beams when he catches Taehyung grimacing when he puts one on.
This practice match has just become interesting.
Hoseok brings their team together, Jeongguk mirroring his teammates as they wrap their arms around each other’s shoulders to strategize in secret.
“Okay, Jeongguk you should stay closest to the goal, and Jimin and I will make sure to give you the ball so we can get a good score. Mingyu, and Kwan, you guys should defend Namjoon as best as possible. Soohyun’s quite fast when he gets the opportunity too, so try to corner him when he gets near.” Hoseok explains, everyone agreeing by nodding their heads.
“Okay. Let’s go, team!” Hoseok shouts in excitement, and then they separate, finding their positions before the match starts.
Taehyung’s eyeing Jeongguk, and it doesn’t click for him why, at least not until Taehyung takes the position of a defender, standing a few meters away from Jeongguk.
“You have got to be kidding.”
“Hey, Jeon. Thinkin’ bout my cock in your mouth, yet?” Taehyung asks sneakily, assuring no one’s near them to overhear the truth.
“Shut up,” Jeongguk answers with gritted teeth, bending his knees a little when the whistle rings, and the players start to move, a soccer ball in between Hoseok’s legs.
Just as he’s about to move to receive the soccer ball, Taehyung collides into him, blocking out the view of Hoseok.
Angry, and determined to win, Jeongguk pushes with his left shoulder, causing a wince to erupt from Taehyung’s lips but he pays it no mind.
It seems to cause imbalance in Taehyung when Jeongguk keeps his hold strong, and the minute Taehyung removes himself with a harsh grunt, Jeongguk goes for the kill and runs to a free spot.
“To your left! Left, hyung!”
Hoseok listens, and passes the ball to his left, right into Jeongguk who’s standing ready.
When it lands by his feet, Jeongguk grins and doesn’t hesitate to shoot from where he’s standing, the ball landing right in the corner of the net.
Hoseok, and the rest of the guys run towards Jeongguk and clap him on the back. Taehyung remains quiet, spitting as he catches his breath.
Jeongguk grins at him, and mouths. “Fuck you.”
Coach Lee claps from the bench, raising a thumbs up into the air for Jeongguk to see.
The match continues, Taehyung’s team being lucky this time due to Soohyun’s incredibly impressive pace, and his dribbling skills. He managed to outdo Mingyu and Kwan who do everything to defend the goal, but miss terribly along with Namjoon who’s hands don’t grab the ball from hitting the white net.
Taehyung sticks his tongue out to Jeongguk, acting like a kid who can’t give a proper finger instead when the win is no longer clear, both on the same level.
Come on, Jeongguk.
Taking a deep breath, he positions himself on the right near the goal, Taehyung ready to pounce on him from behind if he does get the soccer ball. Jeongguk is up for the challenge, and still encourages Jimin to pass it.
As he gains access, Taehyung’s back on him, chest pressed up against his back while his legs move quickly to catch the ball from him and pass it down to his teammates, but Jeongguk’s reflexes are out of this world good, keeping it furthest from being shot elsewhere in a hurry.
There’s no way around it, if Jeongguk has to score a goal, he’ll have to push into Taehyung to get him away.
The clock is ticking, and the others are catching up, running towards the goal to help out, which sets a blaring alarm in Jeongguk’s head.
Pushing into Taehyung, Jeongguk ignores the prominent bulge he feels against his ass, working around it and setting himself free, Taehyung running not far from behind. Although, it’s just enough for Jeongguk to make a good kick which causes another goal.
“Fuck’s sake.” Taehyung curses under his breath, pants for a second before spitting onto the grass again, and proceeds to pull his hair back with one hand.
Jeongguk’s cheerful smile doesn’t drop once after the practice match. Even when they’re back in the locker rooms, showering the dirt and sweat off of them. Hoseok is reminiscing about the match, adding a ton of praise towards Jeongguk for making them win, along with Jimin who’s quick to agree and slaps him lightly on his back.
As he gets dressed, Coach Lee enters the locker rooms.
“Jeon, Kim, my office afterwards.”
Oh fuck.
Jeongguk can’t help but look at Taehyung at the mention of him, and he’s surprised when Taehyung’s eyes are already dead set on him, a gaze piercing and evil digging into him the longer he stares.
It’s surely intense, so intense that Namjoon catches on and brings Jeongguk out of the intense eye contact.
“Hey, I’ll wait out front, don’t worry about it.”
Jeongguk nods. “Okay, thanks hyung.”
Ready to leave, Jeongguk doesn’t waste time and walks towards Coach Lee’s office, uncaring if Taehyung’s on his tail or not.
“Ah, Jeongguk, please sit while we wait for Taehyung.”
He does as told, sitting down on the small chair, and thankfully not for long because then, in walks Taehyung with a big smile.
“Wassup, Coach?”
“Sit, Taehyung, please.”
Taehyung follows his orders, sitting next to Jeongguk, and crossing his arms while awaiting what Coach Lee has to say.
Something in Jeongguk is positive, it's something bad—but that wouldn’t make any sense seeing him and Taehyung have not caused another fight like last time. Still, a nerve has been struck and it makes Jeongguk restless, his leg bouncing uncontrollably while Taehyung remains completely still.
Jeongguk almost— almost envies him for remaining calm.
“Boys. I want to say that I’m positively surprised by the great ambiance you’ve brought with you today to practice. Therefore, I just wanted to properly thank you for listening to me, and for doing what’s right for the team. I hope this friendly behavior continues on.”
Friendly. Jeongguk almost scoffs in offense.
“Of course,” Jeongguk says first, cutting off Taehyung who had just opened his mouth.
“Yeah.”
“Good, you’re free to go. I’ll see you Wednesday.”
They both get up, bowing respectfully to their coach before walking out, Namjoon standing in front with Jeongguk’s duffel bag.
“How’d it go?”
Taehyung walks past them, ignoring Namjoon’s question that’s clearly directed to them both, but he doesn’t seem keen on staying. Jeongguk’s glad he isn’t.
“Good, actually. Coach Lee praised me and Kim for keeping it tame, or well—” Jeongguk makes a face when he repeats the word used in the office. “Friendly.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well—it could be one day, maybe not now, but someday?” Namjoon asks hopefully, and Jeongguk only sends him a stinky eye for suggesting such a thing.
“Alright, no friendliness, got it.”
“It’s best that way.”
Namjoon seems to disagree but doesn’t indulge. Instead he changes the subject.
“So, do you want me to start, or is there anything you want to say?”
Jeongguk finds it best for Namjoon to start, to hear him out on the situation and how it affected him. He’ll bring up his reasons, and a proper apology afterwards.
“Go ahead, hyung.”
“Okay. Well—” Namjoon looks down as they walk, kicking a rock when they move towards the apartment complex. “It kinda hurts that you didn’t reach out—or just make some noise to tell us you’re okay. I think for me—I don’t know, like yeah, I was angry. Fighting, and especially with someone from the team like that is wrong, on so many levels. So, of course I couldn’t help but feel angry. I was angry at Taehyung first because you had already left, and he could barely make out a word ‘cause he was drunk, and he still had a nosebleed. But, all that I caught was that you said something that started it, and—”
Namjoon stops, tries to find the right words, and Jeongguk takes a moment to collect the newfound information. It makes sense that Namjoon was angry. Violence is never the answer, something he believes strongly in, so for two people that he cares about to do such a vile thing must’ve brought immense rage.
“I don’t know, Jeongguk, I started to believe him the longer time went by, and you hadn’t said anything. And I think that pushed this deep disappointment in me towards you, but then I spoke with Hector, and he told me what Taehyung did and it dawned upon me that you were just as hurt. I’m sorry he did that. By the way—he never would’ve if—”
Jeongguk cuts him off, knowing what he’s about to say. “If he knew she was my friend. Yeah, Yoongi-hyung said the same thing.”
Namjoon hums. “It’s the truth, Jeongguk. It might be in his nature to fuck around like an animal in heat, but he’d never do that. He has rules for himself, you know.”
Jeongguk didn’t. Of course not. He doesn’t know shit about Kim Taehyung. At least not anything personal .
“I guess.”
“But yeah, I was just hurt. I don’t know. I thought the team was finally gonna become what I’ve always wanted, which is to have you included a lot more and then… I don’t know. Shit just went south, and yeah, I was confused, maybe overwhelmed as well. But, Hector helped out a lot. He kept updating me on how you were doing, so really, I’m happy you came up to me and apologized. I don’t want us to fight, or be awkward with one another.”
Jeongguk’s heart neither breaks nor heals, but his blood feels a little warmer than before. Skin as well, flushed pink by his neck. He feels immense honor to be cared for this way, especially after he’s been such a fucking dick.
“Hyung, again, I’m really sorry. I was a mess. Some personal stuff happened after New Year’s, and I just—avoiding the team felt like an easy way out. But I realized after a while that I’ve missed this. Hanging out, and playing children’s games with alcohol. I don’t know—I’ve really warmed up to you, a lot these past few months. But what I did was not okay, and I’m well aware. I promise not to do it again.”
They’re rounding up the corner, the entrance now visible to the eye.
“You don’t have to explain everything, Jeongguk. It’s okay to keep things for yourself, but just know, I’m here. And, you’re forgiven, by everyone really. Yoongi-hyung talked to them when you were called in, and they’re all just worried about you.”
Jeongguk’s guilt turns in his stomach. “We should do something soon, that way I can be there, and properly explain myself. And, most importantly, apologize.”
“Yeah, we could do something, maybe Friday? I know Jori’s birthday party is Saturday.”
“Yeah, that works.”
“Sweet.”
They finally make it home, Hector sighing happily at the sight of his boyfriend.
“Hi.”
“Hey, baby.” Namjoon walks over to give him a quick kiss.
“How was practice?”
“It was good, Jeongguk and I talked it out.”
Hector’s smile softens. “That’s great to hear.”
Jeongguk nods, feeling less and less heavy by the moment. “Yeah. When do you guys have class?”
Hector groans at the mention. “In like thirty minutes but it’s a fucking online class because our teacher’s sick but not sick enough to not be able to teach. Such bullshit!”
“Damn, that’s tough.”
“How about you?”
“I have class after lunch.”
“Lucky you.”
“Not really, I have two written assignments that need to be done by this week.”
Hector winces. “Yikes.”
“I’m going back to campus in the afternoon, I’ve got a self-study kind of day,” Namjoon explains.
Hector groans in jealousy. “I should’ve picked Biology.”
“It’s the first time in three months.”
“Oh—I take it back.”
Jeongguk laughs along with Namjoon, and then he leaves the two lovebirds alone and goes to his room to work on his assignments before class.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jeongguk doesn’t think he’ll ever not be impressed by Soohyun’s place. It’s funny, it feels even bigger than the last time he was here with the Red Devils.
He’s guided further inside by Soohyun, and Jeongguk takes the opportunity to apologize to their team captain.
“I’m really sorry, Cap.”
Soohyun’s expression dims into a more neutral, yet soft look. “It’s okay, Guk. Half the team has already forgiven you, but it’s really nice of you to come and apologize properly. I’m sure the other’s will be super grateful as well.”
“It’s the least I can do after being a fucking dick,” Jeongguk admits.
Soohyun squeezes a hand on his bicep for comfort, not indulging in Jeongguk’s comment which keeps the good ambiance around them.
“There’s mocktails in the kitchen—I promised Coach Lee to keep us sober until after the tournament.”
“What a good team captain you are!” Jeongguk says, Soohyun waving a hand in denial.
“Stop it.”
After grabbing a mocktail, Jeongguk joins the rest outside, most of his teammates already here and in full swing with different conversations.
Mingyu notices first—turning his head towards Jeongguk, and soon the rest follow, all greeting him with small smiles.
“Hey, guys. I just—I’m really sorry about what happened.”
Seokjin answers first. “It’s okay, Jeongguk. We’re cool.”
“Yeah, we’re fine, Guk,” Mingyu adds, and most of them hum in agreement, lifting the weight and guilt Jeongguk has felt for weeks.
Sighing in relief, he joins them on the patio couch, listening in on Mingyu and Jimin’s conversation.
“Hey, Jiminie, where’s Taehyung?” Mingyu asks, Jeongguk suppressing an eye roll at the mention of him.
“He’s busy with some girl from the art department,” Jimin says while shrugging.
“Of course he is,” Mingyu calls out the truth, laughing when Jimin does, and Jeongguk remains mute.
Instead, he finishes his mocktail, the blueberry flavor tasting rather rich than artificial. He notices Seokjin getting up to grab one more, and Jeongguk decides to join him, and to run away from hearing Taehyung’s name again.
“These mocktails are incredible,” Seokjin notes as he grabs another one that’s already on the kitchen island. Jeongguk follows through by taking one for himself.
“Absolutely. Hey, by the way, how are you? Y’know, overall and with…” Jeongguk glances sideways, assuring himself that no one is around when he spills a profound secret. “Yoongi-hyung.”
Seokjin sighs. “Still can’t believe you—never mind. I’m good, we’re good, really good.”
Jeongguk grimaces. “Please don’t go into further details. Hearing you’re good is more than enough.”
“Maybe next time don't walk in on us having sex,” Seokjin speaks, unaware that Hoseok has stepped inside.
“Who’s having sex?”
Seokjin’s eyes bulge out, and Jeongguk responds before thinking. “Me! I’m having sex!”
“What?!” Hoseok screams, not expecting Jeon Jeongguk of all people to be sexually active.
“Yeah, not anymore though! But, I used to, for a while.” Jeongguk can’t completely lie, so he leaves out some crucial details.
“Oh wow.”
“Hyung!” It’s Jimin calling out for Hoseok from the patio. Hoseok turns his head before guiding his eyes back towards Jeongguk and Seokjin.
“I’ll be right back.”
The minute he’s out of sight, Seokjin sighs in relief, a hand squeezing Jeongguk’s in utter gratitude. “You fucking saved me.”
“Don’t worry about it, hyung. It was my fault to bring it up here of all places.”
Seokjin dismissed him with a hand. “Don’t worry about it—although I must say…That sounded quite real.”
Uh oh.
Jeongguk gulps. “What—uh—what do you mean?”
“I don’t know, you sounded overly confident.”
He chuckles awkwardly at that, dimming it when Seokjin’s eyes never stop squinting suspiciously.
“Don't know what you’re talking about. Anyways, great talk, hyung!” Jeongguk rushes out of the kitchen with the mocktail in hand, ignoring Seokjin shouting behind him.
“Seriously, did you have sex with someone?!”
Don’t look back. Don’t look back.
Thankfully, back outside the patio, Yoongi steals all of Seokjin’s attention, the pondering thoughts coming to a halt regarding Jeongguk.
That was a close call.
The rest of the evening is bearable. Hoseok already forgot the details of Jeongguk having sex, and Seokjin doesn’t try to hunt him down and demand to dissect the so-called lie he told.
But most importantly, Jeongguk’s content with how it all turned out, and how he’s back in the company of his teammates without any worries.
He really did miss them.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s early morning when Jeongguk feels weight on top of him. It stirs him awake, eyes blinking, and that’s when he notices—
“Ryu, what the fuck,” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath, voice groggy too.
“Come on, we have to say happy birthday to Jori.”
Jeongguk opens one eye. “This early?”
“Yes, silly. Breakfast in bed like usual. Come on, get up.”
As he gets pulled out of bed, Jeongguk runs his eyes down, adjusting to the morning sun that sprawls inside the apartment and covers half of the living room, and kitchen.
Hector’s in the kitchen, placing the orange juice on the tray, along with the Korean, and American flag.
The gift that they had all agreed on is there as well, wrapped with a small ribbon.
“Okay, let’s sing in Korean first, and then in English,” Ryu says.
Both Hector and Jeongguk nod in agreement, and then they move towards Jori’s bedroom on tippy toes.
The moment the door opens, Ryu gives out a signal, and they all start singing happy birthday, waking up Jori in the process.
He’s smiling widely when they start clapping, laughing too when he catches the sprout in Jeongguk’s hair.
“Happy birthday!” Ryu shouts, and runs to hug Jori early in the morning, Hector placing the tray by the end of Jori’s feet.
“Can’t believe you sang in English,” Jori notes, touched by the effort.
“Why wouldn’t we, silly?” Jeongguk says while pinching Jori’s cheek.
“Shut up—wait, you guys got me a present?”
Hector laughs. “Why are you even surprised?”
Jori looks down as he grabs the wrapped gift, eyes turning wet when he looks up at his three roommates—his family.
“I love you, guys. Thank you for all of this.” Jori’s voice sounds clogged due to the tears collecting in his eyes, and Ryu is quick to distract him by telling him to open the present.
“Oh my god,” Jori says when he finally realizes what’s in there. “You got me a new glove for drawing?!”
“Well, you did express that you’ve been meaning to buy one but never found time for it, so we decided to give it to you instead,” Hector explains.
“Thanks guys, and for the birthday breakfast tray as well.”
“You’re welcome.”
Around four in the afternoon, Noa shows up with flowers, and a small gift.
Jeongguk is quick to notice how they’re wearing one of his old t-shirts, styling it properly, that he doesn’t feel an ounce of regret by handing them most of his unused clothing.
“Hey, guys,” they greet everyone, handing Jori the bouquet of flowers, a mix of tulips in different colors.
“These are beautiful, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. How’s your day been so far?”
Jori looks over at his roommates in awe. “The boys made me breakfast in bed, and sang happy birthday in Korean and English at like, shit-o’clock in the morning.”
Noa giggles. “Bet that was Ryu’s idea.”
“It was.” Jeongguk and Hector confirm in unison.
“Hey! It wasn’t a bad plan!”
Silence is met in the small space, proving Ryu wrong.
“Okay, okay fine! Maybe it was a bit too early, but that’s only because I was too excited, okay? Birthdays make me feel like a five year old the day before Christmas.”
“You’re so cute, Ryu,” Jeongguk says, ruffling his hair.
“What are we having for dinner?” Noa asks, sitting down beside Jeongguk instead of next to Jori.
“Jeongguk’s going to make my favorite pasta dish.”
“It’s the least I can do!”
“Sounds wonderful, do you need any help?”
“I’ll manage just fine, don’t worry. Just relax. We have some wine if you want any.” He points towards the bottle, Noa taking him up on the offer which leads Jeongguk to fetch after a glass in the cupboard.
As they all sip on wine, except Jeongguk due to soccer, Jori takes this moment to open Noa’s gift.
It’s a bracelet, in silver with a ‘J’ pendant hanging off of it.
“It’s beautiful. Thanks, Noa.”
“Happy birthday, again.”
They exchange soft smiles, some that Jeongguk hasn’t seen before but he doesn’t pay it any mind, and instead gets up to start dinner.
The speaker in the kitchen plays some soothing music, the background chatter of his friends dissolving. Jeongguk focuses on cutting up some onion, and garlic, trying his hardest not to let his eyes water for long, the sting unbearable.
Noa joins Jeongguk in the kitchen when he pours the oil in the deep pan.
“Hey.”
“Oh—hey.”
“I needed to stretch my legs, hope it’s okay that I’m standing here.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Of course it is.”
“How’ve you been?” They ask before sipping on the white wine.
“Good!”
“That’s good to hear, and truthfully, I couldn’t help but notice it. You seem…” Noa ponders. “Lighter.”
Jeongguk nods, confirming. “Yeah, I made up with the team, and I’m also looking forward to the tournament in April.”
Noa hums. “That’s good, Jeongguk. Your first match is against Ilsan, right?”
“Yeah, it’s a home match.”
“And that’s… better?”
Jeongguk glances at them. “Yeah. The crowd is amazing, and there’s a lot more support than if we were to play in Ilsan. It sort of makes the match easier.”
“Ah, that makes a lot of sense.”
The deep pan is finally heating up, Jeongguk adding the onions and begins to stir them until they’re golden brown.
“I’ve actually never seen a soccer match before.” Noa admits when it grows quiet between them.
“Really?” Jeongguk’s mouth drops. “You should come!”
“Okay, I’ll be there.”
The conversation drifts elsewhere, and then Jeongguk points out the outfit.
“Looks good on you.”
“Thanks, it’s the perfect size. I can’t thank you enough for giving some of your clothes to me.”
Jeongguk’s eyes remain on the pan, adding garlic when the onions are cooked. “No worries, I hope it helps you out.”
“A lot, thanks Jeongguk.”
Noa returns to the others, leaving Jeongguk to concentrate on wrapping up dinner without any fault.
A good thirty minutes later, pasta is served, everyone exclaiming in awe when they watch the steam, and catch the prominent smell in the air.
“This looks amazing, Jeongguk. Thank you.” Jori hugs him in gratitude, Jeongguk wrapping both arms around his friend.
“Hope you enjoy it.”
They all start to eat in silence, the music still playing in the speakers. Once in a while someone will speak up about something, but other than that it’s comfortable silence, everyone too hungry to speak.
It isn’t long after they’re done eating that Noa calls it a night, the wine getting to their head the longer they stay, and Jori calls them a taxi for safety measures.
“See you guys around,” Noa says before stepping out, an odd greeting seeing they’re dating Jori, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay it any mind.
Just as he’s about to go to bed, tired as well due to the heavy dish, Jori asks them to stay behind because he has something important to say.
“What’s going on?” Ryu asks, sitting back down, Jeongguk joining to look at Jori as he sits in front of them.
“Before I say it, I just want to assure you that I’ve been meaning to say it for a long time but I wanted to be certain that it was happening before laying it out,” Jori starts off, which causes a restlessness in Jeongguk’s nerves. By the looks of his roommate's expression, it doesn’t seem to be anything good.
“Okay…” Hector can’t help but let out, his tone suspicious yet curious. Jeongguk remains mute.
“I got accepted into HBCU, a college in Florida.”
Jeongguk’s heart doesn't drop just yet—because Jori continues.
“I’m moving to the States.”
Now, now Jeongguk’s heart drops, so heavy and far it knocks the breath out of him. He can’t make out any words, yet tries because Ryu and Hector are acting on instinct, wrapping their arms around Jori, and congratulating him.
They sound so excited that Jeongguk feels guilty for feeling sad. Fuck, he feels like fucking shit.
“That’s so exciting! When do you move?” Ryu asks.
“Two weeks from now. I’m spending the summer with my Dad before starting in August.”
Two weeks?!
Jeongguk scoffs in disbelief. Jori catches on.
“Jeongguk…”
“Sorry—I—I need a moment.”
Without thinking further, he gets up and walks towards his room, closing the door rather harshly due to anger that sizzles when his sadness becomes more prominent and real.
It keeps building the longer Jeongguk stays in his room, the chatter distant but there. He doesn’t catch onto the words—and in reality he doesn’t want to find out. He’s ashamed of his reaction, of this pain he’s had deep within him that’s coming up to the surface for the first time in years .
Jeongguk knows that this goes beyond Jori leaving. It’s reminding him that someone has already left him before, someone who meant a lot to him, so for Jori to do as well, has reminded him of it all.
Kicking himself in the head, Jeongguk buries his head in his pillow, trying not to cry.
Crying makes him look weak, and Jeongguk hates it.
He doesn’t know how much time passes, but suddenly there’s a knock to his door, and Jori’s soft voice beams through.
“Jeongoo? Can we talk? Please?”
Sniffling, Jeongguk stands up and pulls the handle down. Jori’s staring at him with a saddened gaze, and Jeongguk can’t look. He, therefore, looks at the ground when he nods and follows Jori to the balcony.
The wind is soft against his hair, somewhat calming down the anger and pain he feels vividly inside him.
Jori doesn't say anything just yet—waiting for Jeongguk to be ready.
And maybe, Jeongguk may never be, but he wants to at least try. He wants to hear what Jori has to say.
“I’m sorry for telling you last minute. I just wanted to make sure this was happening before launching such big news.”
“So, it’s really happening…You’re leaving. You’re leaving us—me.” Jeongguk tries not to choke but his voice feels clogged by simply spelling out the truth.
“Jeongguk. I need you to understand that this has nothing to do with any of you. This is for me. I need this, okay?”
Jeongguk is confused. He doesn’t understand why .
“What’s so wrong with being here? This is your home. Isn't it?” There’s a layer of anger in his tone. A bit more biting than Jeongguk had wanted, but Jori doesn’t pay attention to it.
“This—Seoul, it’s…I know it’s my home, Jeongoo, but I don’t feel at home here.”
Jeongguk’s heart breaks at the revelation.
“What?”
“It’s—I don’t know. I feel so lost here, with myself and just living here. I don’t feel like I belong.” Jori reveals. “I look so different from others, and it’s bothering me more than I thought. I’m too black to be considered Korean and—”
“But, your mom she’s—”
“I know. I know Jeongguk.” Jori tightens his hold around himself. “But it doesn’t mean I struggle any less just because I’m half Korean. I get weird looks all the time, and I stand out a lot—too much for me to bear.”
“I didn’t know…”
Jeongguk feels stupid for not seeing it. Jori’s his best friend, and he’s been walking around feeling like this, and Jeongguk never once realized.
“It’s not really something I like to talk about. I’m proud of who I am, and where I’m from but being a mixed person is just… It’s not easy.”
“How come? Did something happen?” Jeongguk wants to learn, to know more about his roommates struggles. Maybe it’ll dim down the guilt that’s turning in his gut.
“I sometimes get asked questions about where I’m from—and saying I’m from here just is never enough. It’s like they’re looking for the answer that is that my Dad is African American. And it’s so bothersome. It just—it fucking bothers me that me speaking fluent Hangul, and having a Korean mother is just… it’s never enough to be fully accepted here. And, I don’t know, when I went to visit my Dad last Christmas, I felt more comfortable in my own skin, in my own ethnicity, and I just—I feel like I belong there.”
Jeongguk remains quiet as the shock filters through his system.
All this time… All this time, Jori has struggled silently, and Jeongguk has been blind to it all.
Jori sighs. “So—that’s why I’m doing this. To feel comfortable, to not walk around with constant shame because of where I’m from, and just to simply be me. It’s not easy to leave you guys. I am going to miss you a whole lot because you made living here so much easier but—I need to do this. For me. I hope you can understand that, Jeongguk.”
He nods silently, shifting his eyes to the stars.
“I’m gonna miss you,” Jori says, cuddling into Jeongguk’s side, head now on his shoulder.
“Me too.”
Jeongguk tries to keep it together, to not cry in front of his roommate because this isn’t about him, and it never was, but some small part of him can’t help but blame himself. For being a shit friend, for not giving Jori the right support when he clearly needed it.
Deep down, his thoughts are only self-destructive because this isn’t the first time.
This isn’t the first time someone who has meant a lot to him has left him.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, biting his tongue through the pain, and leans his cheek at the top of Jori’s head, indulging into the silence as they both stare into the beautiful night sky.
Notes:
handing out free tissues and hugs to anyone that needs it ♡
for more updates and ktg related content, find me on twitter/x
thank you for reading:)
Chapter 12
Summary:
me: okay so this--
gray: no. don't do a chapter summary, and don't even say a word.
me: BUT THATS SO EVIL (i love it)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The wind has grown less cold, no longer slapping Jeongguk's face during his morning runs, and the sun is rising earlier.
Spring has finally arrived, and the soccer season is right around the corner.
Jeongguk can feel it. The anticipation, the urge to run out on the field, the shouts of encouragement from the crowd, and most importantly winning .
God. Jeongguk wants to feel the rush of adrenaline from winning again, and wants to feel his blood rush from excitement.
Yet, there’s something that makes it all difficult.
It’s Jori leaving, Jeongguk’s well aware. After all, the news had been sudden, unexpected even and worse of all, it’s for a valid fucking reason and Jeongguk feels stupid for being selfish.
Barely a week after announcing his leave, Jeongguk’s constantly been on the move. Jori’s worried. Jeongguk can see it all over his roommate’s face, how his eyes scream it, and how his lips turn into a thin line in disappointment when he’s putting on his running shoes instead of his chunky sneakers.
And, usually, Jori would say something to confirm it, but things are different and overwhelming currently, for both of them.
Ryu and Hector seem to be doing fine—from what Jeongguk can tell. Namjoon’s been around a lot more, and Ryu’s done his usual things which is occupy his free hours by going out with someone and coming home with a face that screams ‘I’ve had some good fucking sex.’
So, really, if anyone’s going through it—it’s Jeongguk. Shocker.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he picks up on his run, not looking behind him once where the sun already peaks above the horizon and greets him gently.
Once his blood starts pumping, and he can hear his heartbeat pound in his ears, Jeongguk slows down his pace, and leads his feet home, just in time for a shower before the rest wake up and make a line for the bathroom with swollen eyes, and bed hair.
To prevent missing his chance to reach the bathroom first, he jogs up the stairs, elevator long forgotten.
Whatever. It’s a good extra work out. Jeongguk isn’t really complaining.
Blowing out a few pants, Jeongguk reaches the second floor, just about to continue when he hears a door opening loudly and closing. He can’t help but look—catching someone hiding their bed hair with a hoodie and wearing a mini skirt; one that doesn’t exactly look comfortable with the way she has to constantly pull it down as she walks towards the elevator. She seems to be limping, and then it clicks for Jeongguk.
Right. Of course.
Of fucking course Kim Taehyung would be a dickhead and kick out his hookups right before the sun is fully up.
Trying not to catch the attention from the stranger, Jeongguk continues up the stairs, laughing to himself over how Taehyung continues to prove him right.
The beeping noise rings in his ears when he pushes the code in—the apartment quiet when he steps inside. He rushes to take off his shoes before anyone wakes up by their alarm, and hurries to the bathroom.
Does everyone hate him early in the morning because of this? Well, kinda. But Jeongguk doesn’t regret it. Instead, he’ll sing under the shower, ignoring Ryu’s loud complaints from the other side, and the constant knocking.
Should happen any minute now.
Jeongguk rushes to undress after stepping inside, turning on the shower, and just as he’s about to step in, he hears three knocks.
Ryu.
Of course.
“Occupied!”
“You fucking—I need to piss!” Ryu shouts, voice groggy and strained, but it won’t stop him. He continues to knock while Jeongguk fishes after his shampoo through the ten different bottles from his roommates. Ryu doesn’t stop knocking, even kicking his foot into the door which causes him to wince.
“Seriously—Jeongguk, hurry up!”
“Almost there!”
He’s not .
Yet, he tries. Really, he does. But the last thing he wants is to smell like shit during class, and catch attention from people.
Time isn’t real when Jeongguk showers, so when he’s done, he’s surprised Ryu’s stopped his morning violence.
Hm.
That’s new.
Opening the door, Jeongguk catches how his shoes aren’t at the entrance when he looks in the hallway for him.
Oh.
Oh my god.
Please don’t tell me he—
“Oh, thank god, move!”
It’s Hector, pushing his way into the bathroom while Jeongguk stares dumbly at the entrance, wondering if his theory is right. If Ryu really—
The front door opens, and in walks Ryu, relieved and definitely not like someone who's about to piss himself.
“Where’ve you been?”
“Where do you think?! I went to Jimin, and Taehyung’s apartment ‘cause you apparently need to shower like the water’s free, and I was about to piss myself.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “You’re kidding.”
Ryu squints his eyes. “Why should I? You didn’t open the door.”
“Okay, so what, now you’re just walking into their place to do your morning piss? Really?”
Ryu shrugs. “Why not? It’s beneficial when I have a roommate who showers before I get to do it.”
Jeongguk finds it weird—but not exactly surprising.
“I was almost done!”
“No, no you weren’t,” Ryu shakes his head, walking further inside the apartment and opening the fridge to grab the milk. “Hey, uh, it was weird but…”
Jeongguk’s ears perk up. “Hm?”
“Taehyung—he, uh, told me to say ‘good morning, stalker’ to you. I don’t know, man.”
Gritting his teeth, Jeongguk bites back. “I wasn’t fucking stalking him!”
His roommate’s eyes widen in surprise at the denial. “Okay, Jesus! Wait, take me back a second? What?”
“Uh—nothing, forget it,” Jeongguk says before storming out, uncaring that what he’s about to do is stupid—and just, a really really bad idea.
But he’s pissed, so pissed he forgets that he’s only in a towel when he walks down the stairs, mumbling curse words before arriving in front of the right door, and blasting the doorbell like someone’s in danger.
Luckily, Taehyung’s the one who opens the door, making it less hard for Jeongguk to reach him.
“Stalker? Stalker? Really, Kim?”
Slowly, Taehyung’s eyes drag down, and instead of bringing them back up to Jeongguk’s face, he keeps them locked onto his damp abs.
“Hm. Interesting greeting, Jeon.”
“Fuck off. I wasn’t stalking you.”
Taehyung’s eyes finally meet his. “Really? You seemed quite interested in Sari.”
“I—”
“Did you come here for her number? I have it somewhere, hold on…” He’s just about to fish for his phone, when Jeongguk steps closer and jabs a finger into his chest.
“Stop assuming shit about me.”
It’s a warning, the tone cold and direct. Taehyung’s eyebrows raise in surprise, although he doesn’t exactly budge.
“As if you weren’t earlier.”
Shit.
“I wasn’t.”
It’s a lie. Taehyung seems to be able to tell, because then he moves with confidence, face inches away from Jeongguk’s.
“See you at practice, Jeon.”
And then he’s out of sight, leaving Jeongguk in nothing but a towel. Even though he’s covered, he feels completely naked.
Damn it.
⚽⚽⚽
“That’s the last of it,” Jori announces, his room now fully empty, and bare.
Ryu comes to hug Jori from behind, to reassure him that he’s doing the right thing—even though Jeongguk has a hard time staring directly at him since he’s revealed his move.
There’s a bit of tension in the living room, Jeongguk scratching his foot with the other, and avoiding the emptiness he feels in his gut.
The suitcases are by the entrance, ready to be transported over the globe, and a constant reminder to Jeongguk that this is really happening.
“When does your flight leave?” Ryu asks when the silence becomes overbearing.
“In a few hours,” Jori says, voice clogged with emotions. Jeongguk hides his face in his hoodie, ashamed of his expression that’s too telling.
But, for Jori, Jeongguk will try.
Hector steps inside the apartment after being at Namjoon’s place, not wasting a second and crashes into Jori, squeezing him with permanent love.
“I’m excited for you, Jori,” Hector admits, smiling widely which transmits to Jori who’s struggling with his own emotions.
“Thanks.”
Jeongguk remains mute, even when Ryu sends him a knowing glare.
“What time is it?” Jori asks, face smushed into Hector’s shoulder.
Jeongguk checks his phone before giving a definite answer. “It’s three.”
Jori’s about to open his mouth when the doorbell rings. “Shit—he’s here.”
Everyone stands dumbfounded, except Jori who’s already walking towards the door.
“Wait what?”
“Your new roommate!”
Ryu’s eyes widen, along with Hector’s, Jeongguk no better when his lips part in shock. They’ve all been too busy reminiscing memories with Jori, and spending the last few days with him that the idea of a new roommate had completely slipped.
When they had all moved into the apartment complex, they had made a set of rules. One of them being that you pick the following person to live in your old room. Jeongguk had never seen the day coming where that rule would come into play.
And the fact that Jori waited until the last minute to tell them who .
Or well, he’s not exactly saying who, instead he opens the door, revealing—
“Jackson?!” Hector shouts in surprise, running forward to hug his childhood friend.
“Surprise!”
Holy fucking shit.
Jeongguk blinks repeatedly, trying his best to sink into reality, Ryu having the same struggles, his lips twitching as they part.
Jackson walks forward, smiling widely as he removes his jacket yet keeps his beanie on which makes him look effortlessly cool.
“Hey.”
Ryu blinks, and Jeongguk is no better, still staring him down in utter surprise.
“Well, you weren’t kidding when you said they’ll be surprised,” Jackson jokes lightly, scratching his arm before bringing it around Hector in joy.
“S-sorry. Uh—welcome to our home! Well, your home now too—” Ryu stumbles through, nervous laughter in the pit of his throat, which eases up Jeongguk who’s doing no better, still staring.
Jackson chuckles to ease the tension. “Thanks. This place looks amazing, even better than the pictures Jori sent me.” His eyes wander all over, Hector stepping further inside which leads Jackson to as well.
“He has a bad aim when he takes pictures.” Jeongguk finds the courage to say, Jackson’s eyes lighting up by the sudden comment.
“Hey!” Jori butts in, offended while Jackson withholds a giggle by biting his lip.
The tension dies down afterwards, Ryu no longer a mess in front of Jackson, and Jeongguk seems to have found his words again, killing the muteness he had indulged earlier.
Jori is the one to guide Jackson through the apartment–rightfully so–and Hector keeps his arms around Jackson, filled with happiness due to a familiar face from home.
After Ryu shows his room, he catches his breath, and Jeongguk has a feeling he’s about to say something he’s been dying to ask.
“Jackson—I just have to ask…Why here?” By the tone of it, it’s genuine. Ryu must’ve never seen it coming. Infamous Jackson Wang who’s thrown iconic parties, some that are even still mentioned to this day, has decided to live here, of all places.
Jackson laughs dryly. “Well—I’ve always had my eye on this neighborhood when I was trying to find a place, and then I met you guys at New Year’s, and you all seemed great. So, really, it was a perfect fit when Jori told me he might be moving out, and was trying to look for a replacement by April.”
“That makes sense, this place is pretty great, close to campus as well,” Ryu adds.
“Yeah, Jimin mentioned that.”
It goes a bit quiet, Jeongguk and Ryu sharing a knowing glance, but Hector doesn’t hide it.
“Oh, Jimin, huh.”
Jackson doesn’t change posture, not even a sneaky smile pulling onto his face, instead he confidently answers. “Yeah, we talk a lot, he’s great.”
“I bet he is,” Hector presses, and Jackson rolls his eyes.
“For fucks sake, Hecky.”
The room erupts in laughter, Hector poking a finger in Jackson’s arm to annoy him further. The ambiance overall is more light, less heavy than it’s been when Jori had announced the news.
And while Jackson seems like a good fit, a part of Jeongguk still can’t really wrap his head around Jori not being around anymore.
It’s not obvious, not right now, but Jeongguk knows he’ll feel it when they part ways, and he’s met with an empty room back home.
His thoughts are quickly interrupted when Jori brings out his suitcase towards the front door, air thick around them.
Silently, everyone puts on their jackets and shoes by the entrance, Jackson staying behind to give them a moment alone, and to plan out how to decorate his room.
Jeongguk’s grateful for it, that Jackson shows respect to their relationship, and doesn't try and push himself into a space that’s not for him.
The action tells Jeongguk everything he needs to know about Jackson. He’s a good person.
There’s a cab waiting outside, the driver placing the heavy suitcase in the baggage room while they move to sit inside the vehicle.
It smells like leather, and a bit of dust, Jeongguk not too fond of it, but he’s quick to ignore it when Jori sits next to him, and wraps an arm around his bicep.
The last contact between them had been on the balcony when Jori had been vulnerable and properly explained the reason behind his big move. Since then, Jeongguk had a hard time with physical contact, afraid it'll make him miss Jori more.
But now, in the car, Jeongguk feels warm by the embrace even though the streets turn into the highway, and Central Seoul grows smaller as they near the airport in Incheon.
“Is Noa joining us at the airport?” Ryu asks as his eyes are set on Jori from the rear-view mirror.
“Uh—not exactly,” Jori answers, his hold around Jeongguk now tighter than before. “We actually broke up.”
Everyone flinches at the news except for the taxi driver that doesn’t bat an eye at the personal information.
“W-wait, why? I thought you two got along.” Jeongguk can’t help but ask, after all he was pretty involved when he had found out Noa’s intentions with Jori at their work.
“We did—we still do, it’s just, long-distance is not something I can do. Especially with everything going on for me, and starting over. I just really need a fresh start.”
“Right, yeah okay.”
Jori smiles. “And well, before we even dated I told them that there was gonna be a chance of me leaving, so they knew. I think it made things easier too. Them just knowing that it’s never because of them, but simply my journey, and how I want to spend my life as of now.”
“Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I’m glad you got to communicate about it,” Hector says, yet Jeongguk can’t help but feel a sharp pain in his chest. He feels like he lacks importance, that everyone but him knew about Jori’s departure, even though it’s far from the truth. It’s his thoughts getting ahead of themselves. Jeongguk wants it to stop.
Thankfully, there’s music playing from the speakers, keeping Jeongguk distracted for most of the ride, along with the conversation Ryu has with the taxi driver who’s apparently a huge fan of the band playing.
Jori’s hold around Jeongguk turns even tighter when the vehicle parks in front of the airport entrance.
Jeongguk knows it’s because they’re closer to their goodbyes.
Everyone steps out, Ryu taking a hold of Jori’s luggage when he notices him clinging to Jeongguk like a koala.
They all bow to the driver, thanking him for a safe and pleasant ride, and proceed to walk inside the airport.
Jori’s quick to spot the airline, and checks in his suitcase, everyone standing behind except for Jeongguk that’s stuck to him until the last minute.
Ryu and Hector talk about Jackson while they walk towards security where they’ll have to part ways. Jori’s hold tightens, making Jeongguk doubt if it’s because he’s scared, or if it’s because he can tell Jeongguk’s form is shaking slightly.
“I’ll miss you guys,” Jori starts off, and Ryu quickly butts in.
“Don’t make a sappy speech or I’ll cry and make a scene in the middle of this airport.”
Everyone laughs, including Jeongguk who’s breath had stopped by Jori’s words.
“Fine, I’ll spare you guys. But only because I’ll start crying if Ryu does, and I don’t want security to ask me if I’m okay,” Jori admits, the giggles continuing between them which makes this departure a little easier to endure.
Jeongguk finds the courage to give a proper hug to Jori, squeezing him tightly, and digging his nose into his jacket. “I love you.”
He whispers it, Jori’s arms only wrapping tighter. “I love you. Gonna miss you, Jeongoo. Please take care of yourself, okay?”
“Yeah.”
They break apart, Ryu being next to hug Jori, and whispering his own set of words. Jeongguk feels his throat turn tighter, eyes burning, but he quickly shuts down his emotions, not wanting this to be harder for Jori than it already is.
Hector is last, kissing Jori on the forehead, and then he starts walking backwards, scared to look forward but then Jeongguk nods, a confirmation that Jori needs, something that tells him that what he’s doing is right, and that’s when Jori turns his head, and disappears behind the security doors.
The first thing they notice when they step inside the apartment are the cardboard boxes filling half of the entrance, and living room. The movers must’ve dropped things off while they went to the airport.
Jackson is groaning loudly as he carries one of the boxes towards his room, a high tempo beat playing from inside that’s quite catchy.
“Hey, need some help?” Ryu offers, and Jackson turns around, a smile beaming on his face.
“Hey, you’re back! And, no don’t worry, dude. I got it.”
Jeongguk walks around the boxes, stealing a glance on what’s inside in pure curiosity, and catches a cool leather jacket.
“My brother got it for me,” Jackson says, noticing Jeongguk’s eyes on the item. He’s a bit embarrassed in being caught, but it doesn’t last long because Jackson is relaxed in his posture, and even takes it out of the cardboard to show it off.
It’s even better than when it was folded. Some pins in the fur collar, personalized from what Jeongguk can tell, and the buttons are thick and wide.
“This is sick.”
“Ah, thanks.” Jackson grabs the cardboard box, and leads it inside his bedroom, the living room clearing out better but still a bit messy. “I should be done in an hour or so.”
“Take your time, Jacks,” Hector says, falling down onto the couch, Ryu joining in as he scrolls on his phone. Jeongguk goes towards the kitchen instead, chugging down some water, his throat annoyingly dry at the moment.
“Never saw the day coming that Jackson Wang would be our roommate?!” Ryu whisper-yells, still processing the news that landed on them earlier. Jeongguk is no better, his head has such a hard time wrapping around the fact that Jori isn’t around anymore, that he won’t come see him play at their first match, shouting his name louder than anyone else.
Jeongguk clears his throat when he feels it burning up due to clogged emotions.
“I don’t know what’s more impressive…Jori keeping this a secret from us, or him being able to pull Jackson of all people,” Hector admits while running a hand through his hair.
“Man, I miss him already.”
Me too. Fuck.
Just as his thoughts try to deepen, Jackson walks out of his room to carry in the last two boxes.
“Oh shit—I forgot to ask…” Jackson starts, head peeking out from the bedroom. “Are you guys free tonight?”
“Yeah,” Ryu answers for them, always in tune with their plans.
“Great, I was thinking we could go out and eat?” Jackson suggests, and instantly, Ryu’s eyes light up.
“Sounds great! There’s a really good KBBQ restaurant around the corner, if you want to eat in this neighborhood.”
Jackson nods. “Yeah, Jimin suggested one, it might be the one you’re thinking of…”
“So, Jimin’s joining us?” Hector asks with a suggestive tone, Jackson merely feeling a nudge at the act, expression no different than earlier.
“Yeah, we’ve been meaning to hang out since I got back to Seoul. I hope it’s okay.”
Ryu quickly shakes his head. “Why wouldn't it be? That sounds fun.”
“Okay, great. I’ll be ready to leave in like…” Jackson looks at the mess around him. “Twenty-ish minutes.”
“Alright.”
While Jackson cleans around his room to make it proper enough to sleep in, Jeongguk decides to empty the dishwasher, the kitchen being his designated area to clean throughout this month.
Ryu comes to join him, keeping him company as he talks about a weird conversation he had with someone online.
Before either knows it, Jackson’s ready to leave.
They all move towards the entrance, putting on their hoodies and light jackets, the weather of Spring finally present during the evenings.
The sun is setting when they step out, Jackson asking Ryu questions about the building while he has an arm around Hector. It’s such a simple moment, nothing special happening, but Jeongguk can feel an emptiness next to him.
He’s just about to feel himself fall further into it when Ryu grabs his arm, and squeezes his bicep for comfort. The action is small, but it means the world to Jeongguk.
Arriving to the bottom of the apartment complex, Jeongguk spots—
“Jiminie! Taehyung! Hey!” Ryu shouts, waving excitedly as they move towards them.
Exchanging a few hugs around, Jeongguk tries his best to ignore the presence of Taehyung, but it’s hard. It’s almost as if he needs to be aware of him, his loud movements and big mouth taking so much space. Also within the fact that it doesn’t help how easily he talks with Jeongguk’s roommates, making him deeply aware that he’s right fucking there .
Walking a bit behind, Jeongguk pushes both hands into the pockets of his jeans, staring into nothing as they all walk down the hill towards the restaurant.
Everything is fine so far, no interactions between Taehyung and him, which is preferred.
Although, as they round the corner, and walk inside the building, Jeongguk bumps into Taehyung who’s slow in his steps.
“Dude—”
“Oh, you’re here too? What a pleasant surprise.” Taehyung smiles when Jeongguk pokes his tongue against his cheek, pissed off by whatever he’s doing.
“Funny.”
“After you, Jeon.”
“Just fucking walk, Kim. Or would you rather crawl like the childish bitch you are?” Jeongguk fakes an all widened smile, Taehyung’s own dropping just as fast.
“Ha ha.”
But he moves, joining the others who’ve already sat down at a table further inside. Jeongguk walks behind Taehyung, and notices a suspicious glare from Jackson but it’s quickly swept away when Jimin shoves the menu card in his face.
Jeongguk tries his hardest not to read too much into it. Jackson was probably just…staring…and maybe—maybe he even spaced out. Surely, he doesn’t think that—
“Jeonggukie, what do you want to drink?” Ryu asks, seated in front of him, pointing down at the laminated menu.
“Hm…” He looks down, reading the different options, and settles on some water.
“That’s…boring,” Ryu notes, no shame in his bones whatsoever.
Jeongguk shakes his head, about to answer his roommate when a waitress comes up to their table.
“Hello, what can I get you?”
Everyone lists off their preferred side dishes, and the meat they’d like to grill. She types it all down on a small screen, nodding along, and Jackson thanks her when she grabs the menu cards to create more space on the table.
“Did the move go well?” Jimin asks while they wait for their drinks.
“Yeah, the movers dropped by right after they went to the airport, so I already managed to get everything inside my bedroom. It’s gonna take a while to organize it though…”
“We’re here to help if anything,” Hector says, Jeongguk nodding to his proposition.
“Thanks guys.”
“Why exactly did you move here? In Seoul?” Ryu asks, a question Jeongguk himself has been thinking about ever since Jackson had stepped inside their apartment.
“Because of my job, mostly, and also because I feel at home here.” Jackson starts off, the words contrasting to what Jori had told him that night, and Jeongguk doesn't exactly know what to feel, but he feels… something .
“Don’t get me wrong, I love Hong Kong, I love the city, and the food, and just being right next to my family but I don’t know, Seoul just feels right.” Jackson shrugs. “And well, when I was offered to be an event planner for some of the biggest clubs in Hongdae, I knew I was meant to be here.”
“That’s amazing,” Ryu says in awe. “Did you always know you wanted to be an event planner?”
“Kinda? It already started a lot in high school when I’d have the house to myself on some weekends, and then slowly it just progressed, and everyone always had such a great time. I think that’s when I realized that there’s a lot to it, to make a party good , unforgettable as well.”
Well, your New Year’s party is surely unforgettable.
Jeongguk shakes himself out of his thoughts.
“So yeah, I started spending more time planning, and finding the right people for music, and drinking games. But it was first right before I was done with Uni that someone had heard about my parties, and invited me to work for him for bigger events, and themed nights at clubs.”
Now it all makes sense. How he’s become so iconic, a legend amongst many, and how Jeongguk never experienced any other party like his.
“You’re so impressive,” Jimin compliments.
“Heh. Thanks.”
Not long after, they receive their drinks, the waitress almost spilling Jeongguk’s water due to her eyes fixated onto Taehyung’s. He’s close to throwing a fit—but doesn't due to not wanting Jackson to get a different impression of him, and worst of all, to have Taehyung think he’s jealous .
They eat mostly in silence, Hector grilling the meat to perfection that the flavors melt on Jeongguk’s tongue when he takes a big bite, chewing as he almost jumps in his seat over how good it tastes.
“Have you had roommates before?” Ryu asks, probably having a pile of questions for Jackson. Jeongguk doesn’t blame him, Jackson seems like a very interesting person, one who’s down to earth, and calm within himself. At least, that’s the impression Jeongguk has gotten from the first meeting at the New Year’s Party.
“Yeah, actually the DJ from New Year’s—he goes by Smoke, but his real name is Jiehong, well he was my roommate back in Hong Kong. I think for like…three, almost four years? I just remember it being mostly throughout Uni, and then a bit afterwards until I got a job opportunity here.”
“His setlist was fire. I did not expect for DNA by Kendrick to play as we counted down to midnight,” Ryu notes, and Jeongguk is brought back to when the song had blended in over his rage, and had him deaf during the fight. Taehyung isn’t even listening to the conversation, too occupied with sending glances back and forth to the waitress who’s caught his attention.
“Yeah, he always knows how to make things interesting. He’s one of the coolest people I know.” Jackson’s smile tightens, and Jeongguk sees a reflection of himself. He must miss Jiehong a lot. Just like how Jeongguk misses Jori even though it’s barely been a day without him.
As the food empties out, and their stomachs fill up, Hector shares memories that have happened at the apartment, some including Jori which squeezes Jeongguk’s heart in his chest, but overall the dinner is nice, Jeongguk surprising himself by how much he enjoys Jackson’s company.
When the waitress comes back to the table to clear everything out, Jackson groans loudly.
“Fuck—I need a cigarette.” He gets up, puts on his jacket, and then his eyes land on Jeongguk. “Hey, Jeongguk, wanna join me?”
“Uh—I don’t smoke.”
Jackson smiles. “I know.”
Jeongguk’s just about to open his mouth again when he’s interrupted.
“Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Shit. Is this about earlier? Please, please don’t let it be about earlier.
“Okay—yeah sure.” Jeongguk gets up, and follows Jackson out.
Instead of standing in front of the restaurant, Jackson walks around the building, a deserted alleyway facing them.
Anxiousness creeps up when Jackson remains silent, grabbing his pack, and pulling one out, lightning it and taking a few puffs while Jeongguk’s head is hung low, foot toying with a rock he’s found.
“Did something happen between you and Taehyung?”
Jeongguk’s ears perk up. “Huh?”
Jackson drags the silence by sucking on the tobacco rather than explaining further.
When Jeongguk’s fingers are clammy, and wet, Jackson looks at him.
“Did you guys fuck?”
Immediately, Jeongguk chokes on his own spit, eyes so wide it wouldn't be surprising if his eyeballs fell out at the very moment. Jackson catches his reaction, raising an eyebrow, and is just about to ask a question when Jeongguk interrupts him.
“K-Kim…No. Oh God, no.” Jeongguk clears his throat. “What—what makes you say that?”
So he had caught on. Exactly what Jeongguk had feared. The glance from earlier had meant something—and Jeongguk will do anything to shut it down as fast as possible. The last thing he needs before the season starts is for someone to know he and Taehyung have…
“I don’t know. Gut feeling I guess.”
“Your—” Jeongguk pauses, blinks. “Your gut feeling told you that Kim and I—Oh wow.”
“I don’t know, he looked at you like—never mind. Are you having fun tonight?”
Jeongguk is thankful for the change of topic, even though he gains an itch of curiosity.
“Yeah, no yeah it’s really nice.” There’s no direct answer, Jackson just staring softly at him when he brings the cigarette in between his lips. “You and Jimin—how’s-how’s that going?”
The cigarette falls onto the ground, Jackson crushing it with his shoe. “It’s not like that—well not anymore.”
“Huh.”
That was…unexpected.
“Yeah, we just realized we couldn’t put in the time that was needed for it to be a good relationship, so we decided to end it before it got too serious. We’re still friends though. He’s great.”
Looking back, Jeongguk was surprised over how unbothered Jackson was by Hector’s teasing regarding Jimin, but now it makes sense.
“That’s good. I mean, as long as it’s what's best then yeah, that’s—good.”
Jackson swings an arm over Jeongguk, the action soft and innocent and strangely enough, he doesn’t mind it.
“Let’s go back in.”
“Okay.”
Back inside the restaurant, Jackson goes up to pay while everyone puts on their jackets, getting ready to leave. Ryu comes up to Jeongguk, throwing an arm over his roommate, and to mostly lean on him knowing Jeongguk could drag him home if he wanted to.
“You’re so heavy.”
“I’m so full. Leave me alone,” Ryu whines, curling up against Jeongguk, and almost letting his feet drag onto the concrete when they step outside.
They’ve barely been walking for five minutes when Jackson stops in his tracks. “Where’s Taehyung?”
“He’s waiting for the waitress to get off work—or sorry, should I say, Jiwon?” Jimin responds, rolling his eyes over his best friend's insane libido.
“That’s…impressive.”
“Are you seriously complimenting him for being a freak?” Jimin asks with deep concern, whereas Ryu shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“What? It is!”
Jackson laughs, Jimin no better, and then the silence returns as they walk up the hill, and back towards the apartment complex.
⚽⚽⚽
There’s two weeks until the match against Ilsan.
Jeongguk can feel it when he’s at practice, the tense energy strengthened each time. There’s less jokes in between teammates when they play, barely any smiles on the field, and Coach Lee’s posture is different.
It looks more strict, more powerful than earlier, and it makes Jeongguk’s insides twist with anxiety.
He knows that the day of the match those nerves will bring excitement, but preparations are a bitch—and especially the ones leading up to the first match of the season.
“Alright, boys, let’s wrap things up!”
The Red Devils gather around as Coach Lee has his nose pointed at the clipboard he’s holding onto. It’s quiet as they wait, Jihoon throwing out a few glances of comfort before Coach Lee takes over, and starts talking.
“I’ll make it short. I’ve seen great progress in all of you, and have no doubt you’ll play well against Ilsan. With that said, keep up the good work, stay in shape, and practice only the areas where you feel weak. Jihoon has notes on all of you if you need an extra rundown to assure yourselves. Best of luck, Reds. Now go shower.”
Instantly, the team loosen, posture no longer tight and upright, but rather relaxed. Jeongguk stays behind, wanting to catch Jihoon before he leaves to receive his rundown, one he knows by heart but maybe there’s been a change, maybe —
“Hey, Taehyung, come here,” Coach Lee calls, and Jeongguk can’t help but turn his head in curiosity.
“Yeah, Coach?”
A hand finds itself on Taehyung’s shoulder, a firm squeeze, one Coach Lee does when he’s proud. Jeongguk’s blood turns sour at the sight.
He doesn’t even walk towards Jihoon to get a repetitive rundown, instead he walks at a fast pace towards the locker rooms, shoves his water bottle and soccer cleats inside his duffel bag and walks out without a warning. Jeongguk doesn’t catch Taehyung’s presence until he knocks into him on his way out.
“Watch where you’re going, Jeon—”
Jeongguk doesn’t indulge, and continues to walk away but Taehyung seems offended by the act.
“The fuck is your problem?!”
Still no answer.
Jeongguk keeps walking. He walks, and then his steps become faster, and suddenly he’s running, he’s running until his breath is clogged in his throat, and his blood feels warm. He’s running until he’s home, forehead drenched along with his palms that have been clammy since he overheard Coach Lee’s words directed to Taehyung.
Pulling his hair, Jeongguk catches his breath right outside the apartment complex, and closes his eyes. He tries to breathe, in and out through his nose but the sight of Coach Lee’s hand on Taehyung’s shoulder is hard to forget.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk mutters under his breath while tightening his hold in his hair.
You’re weak.
You’re nothing.
You’re not good enou—
As his throat rumbles with anger, Jeongguk lunges forward, and punches the wall in front of him, knuckles feeling the hit immediately due to the hard surface but Jeongguk is too heated to care, too out of it to realize how much it pains him so he continues, he continues to punch the wall in front of him, and only stops when he spots the blood dripping down his fingers.
Catching his breath again, Jeongguk blinks as he stares at the damage, hissing when he moves his fingers to look at it closely. You’d think he’d punched Taehyung again with how familiar his skin looks from New Year’s. The same darkened red over the knuckles with the shade of pink around the edges.
Covering it up with the sleeve of his hoodie, Jeongguk hides the shame he feels when he steps inside his home, and goes to take a shower to remove what’s visible as of right now.
As the warm water washes over him, Jeongguk closes his eyes and hangs his head under the shower head, as he makes a new promise to himself.
Work harder, or you fail.
In the middle of putting on his socks, Ryu peaks his head inside, a laundry basket held tightly by his right hand.
“Yo, got any laundry?”
Jeongguk nods before getting up, and grabs the clothes he’d like to have washed before next week comes around. “Thanks.”
Ryu’s just about to leave, but then he rests a hand on his door, and looks at him suspiciously.
“What?”
“Going somewhere?”
“Uh—yeah, I’m going to practice some shots.”
Ryu’s eyebrows raise. “Again?”
Jeongguk looks away, not wanting to indulge. His roommate is quick to catch on.
“Okay, well, see you later for dinner?”
“Maybe.”
Then he’s left alone again, and Jeongguk continues to put on a long sleeved shirt, the air a little more crisp in the evening.
When he walks out of his room with his duffel bag slung over his upper body, he spots Jackson lounging on the couch, talking on the phone in Cantonese, and Hector and Ryu are nowhere to be found.
Maybe it’s because his head already feels heavy, but the missing presence of Jori is a little stronger today. There’s an urge to message him, to tell him he’s missed, but Jeongguk doesn’t. Instead, he walks past Jackson who doesn’t notice him, and goes towards the campus field.
The music in his ears is loud enough to block out the sounds of cars, and the bustling noise from the busy streets. It helps Jeongguk remain focused on his goals, and to keep practicing until the very last minute. Anything to make himself important on the field, and for the team.
Thankfully there’s no one here when Jeongguk arrives, permitting him to practice without any worry of taking up too much space.
The goal stares him down when Jeongguk drops his duffel bag, and changes his sneakers for his soccer cleats. The bruises on his knuckles sting when he tightens the laces, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay it any mind. Instead, he gets up, brushing off the grass that managed to stick to his ass, and runs in place for a quick warm up.
Blood pumping, and his legs ready to kick, Jeongguk takes the soccer ball from his bag, and starts practicing.
Even when his legs beg him to stop, he doesn’t.
Even when his heart warns him to slow down, Jeongguk doesn’t.
He can’t.
He can’t fail.
Spit clogged in his throat, Jeongguk taps out, only to realize it’s past midnight and he’s spent his whole night practicing.
He internally curses when he catches the endless messages from Ryu, and Hector, asking him about his whereabouts. Shoving in his cleats, and soccer ball, Jeongguk slings the duffel bag over him, and hurries home while replying to his roommates, and apologizing for making them worried.
“Shit—argh fuck,” Jeongguk winces, gaining a cramp as he reaches the main street of Seoul. The pain is jarring, blocking him from moving further but Jeongguk bites his tongue, and keeps going.
He can rest later.
Pressing a hand on his cramp seems to help, and soon Jeongguk reaches home, typing in the code to get the door unlocked. The light by the entrance turns on automatically while he takes off his shoes, and drops his duffel bag.
Dragging his feet on the floor, Jeongguk flinches at the sight of Jackson sitting on the couch, with his computer on his lap.
“Hey, you’re back.”
“Uh—yeah. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Jackson laughs. “I have insomnia, and I work better during the night.”
“Oh, oh okay.”
Figuring the conversation is over, Jeongguk continues to head towards his room but Jackson surprises him.
“Hey, I know we’re still getting to know each other but—I’m here if you wanna talk. About anything really.”
“Thanks.” Jeongguk replies after a minute of silence.
“Goodnight, Jeongguk.”
“Goodnight, Jackson.”
“You can call me hyung.” Jackson says with a smile.
“Okay, goodnight hyung.”
After closing his bedroom door, Jeongguk walks in front of his mirror, and tries to catch where there’s a crack in the surface of his emotions that he’s strongly built. He can’t find it, and therefore gives up, but it leaves him wondering about what Jackson sees that he doesn’t.
⚽⚽⚽
Red Devils™️
hoseok
me and soohyun are @ the gym
pull up
jimin
omw after finishing this annoying assignment
taehyung
can’t i’m busy ;)))
hoseok
ofc u are
namjoon
i can’t make it either sorry
yoongi
busy
seokjin
same
hoseok
IS EVERYONE BUSY???????
jeongguk
i’ll be there hyung
hoseok
JEONGGUKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
MY FAVORITE PLAYERRRRRRRRRRRRR
we’re by the weights
jeongguk
👍
Soohyun is in the middle of his reps when Jeongguk spots them inside the gym.
It’s a bit crowded, most athletes having upcoming matches and tournaments that require them to be in the best shape possible.
Hoseok is helping Soohyun out, hands featherlight on the weightbar in case Soohyun taps out too soon, and for safety measurements.
“Come on, Cap!” Jeongguk says, encouraging Soohyun when he notices he’s struggling slightly with how tight-lipped he is, and how his face is turning redder by the second.
“Fuck!” Soohyun groans when he finishes the last one, Hoseok placing it back for him with ease. “For a second I thought my arm would fall off.”
They all laugh in unison while Hoseok removes the weights, and changes it into his preferred weight.
“Good you could join us, Guk.”
“Yeah, no worries. How long have you been here?”
Soohyun checks the time on his phone. “Uh—like forty minutes? So we’re still getting into it.”
“Alright. I’m gonna go on the treadmill to warm up.”
Hoseok nods. “Okay, we’re doing pull-ups after this, so you can join us there.”
“Sounds good.”
Jeongguk takes a hold of his headphones hanging off his neck, putting them on to block out the noise from the busy gym, and shuffles his playlist when he reaches the treadmill.
From the treadmills, there’s an open view of campus, the trees slowly growing back into their usual greenish color, and Jeongguk spaces out watching it as his legs move with the pace of the machine.
But something cuts him off his trance—more specifically someone.
There he is, walking like he owns the world with two girls under each arm. Jeongguk is just about to turn his eyes elsewhere when he feels someone poke his shoulder.
“Oh—hyung.”
Hoseok grins, crossing his arms, and just as he’s about to question anything, his teammate takes over.
“So…” Hoseok steals a few glances around them, checking if the coast is clear, and Jeongguk grows nervous. “Who exactly are you having sex with, you little devil?”
Jeongguk almost trips on the treadmill, not expecting for Hoseok to remember the nonsense he had spewed to save Seokjin after putting them both in the situation to begin with. But, apparently so, and now Hoseok’s eyeing him suspiciously the longer he stays quiet.
Fuck.
“Uh…W-What?”
“At Soohyun’s, you said…”
Jeongguk gulps. “That’s…correct.”
His teammate claps his hands excitedly, leaning more forward to get further information—information Jeongguk is not willing to give because one thing about him, he's only a good liar if he gives out a partial truth to it.
So, for Hoseok to corner him, Jeongguk is sending internal prayers to get out of this situation, for someone—anyone to cut them off, Soohyun preferably.
“Uh, where’s Cap?” Jeongguk asks, trying to divert the attention elsewhere.
“Talking to his girlfriend. She called him mid-rep.”
That gives Jeongguk approximately fifteen to twenty minutes before their team captain is back, and ready for the rest of the workout.
Okay. He can do this.
“Ah.”
“So, who is it?” Hoseok is wiggling his eyebrows, waiting eagerly for answers.
“It’s…someone,” Jeongguk says, not giving too much away, and instead of facing Hoseok, he keeps his eyes on the outside campus view, the sight of Taehyung with two girls flashing him horribly.
He tries not to make a face out of pure disgust and judgment while Hoseok keeps adding more questions.
“Okay, but do I know them? Do they go here? Did you meet them somewhere else? Come on, tell me more! This is so exciting, you rarely date Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “I don’t date ‘cause I don’t have time, hyung.”
“Hm. But, seriously, do they go here?”
Shit.
“Uh…”
“Oh my god, they do!” Hoseok cheers, Jeongguk wincing at his weak attempt at dodging the question.
“Ha…” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Jeongguk presses the button on the treadmill, picking up another pace as it rolls more quickly, but Hoseok doesn’t budge. Instead, he stays put, and waits for Jeongguk to tell him everything .
“Are they hot?”
Jeongguk almost slips at the question, his grip tight around the handles.
“I guess…” Jeongguk wants to throw up.
“Hm. Do I have to ask you a million questions before you tell me who’s had great luck with you?”
Jeongguk grimaces. “What do you mean by luck?”
His teammate tilts his head forward, giving him a rather piercing look. “Come on, Jeongguk, you rarely hook up with people, so for you to just—that someone must’ve done something.”
Laughing it off seems to be the only solution Jeongguk finds to this mess he’s caused for himself. Hoseok doesn't mind it, barely flinches at the laughter in his face.
“Come on, you can admit it.”
“Hyung. I’m just too busy to fuck around, nothing else.”
“Exactly why I’m surprised! Seriously, what did they do?”
You don’t want to know.
“Nothin’ really…just—I don’t know.”
Hoseok nods. “I get it now. They were just hot. Like too hot to reject.”
Jeongguk bites down his tongue, and forces himself to nod even though he’s nowhere in agreement to Hoseok’s theory.
“Was it good? Like was it worth it?”
“I—”
“Hey, sorry about that. Timezones are a bitch,” Soohyun says as he steps closer, phone in hand and towel hanging off his shoulders.
“You’re fine. Squats?” Jeongguk asks, slowing down the pace on his treadmill while his two teammates nod in unison.
⚽⚽⚽
It’s the day before the match against Ilsan, and Jeongguk feels on edge. His nerves are all over the place, knocking and pulsing uncontrollably like a ticking bomb. Jeongguk feels like he’s about to explode.
But it doesn’t stop the urge to grow better, to prove himself to his team, and most importantly Coach Lee who’s had a hard time noticing Jeongguk’s improvement.
He can’t help but doubt his skills. Maybe he lacks in his shots, or his dribbles he’s been practicing ever since he could get a soccer ball moving in between his two feet. Whatever it is, Jeongguk will assure everyone that he’s got it. That he’s worth it.
The field is empty again tonight, his teammates probably at home and relaxing, not having to worry twice about where they stand, but Jeongguk feels out of place, and until he gets it right, he won’t rest.
His duffel bag is a bit heavier this time, carrying more than his cleats and ball.
When he sets it down onto the grass, he brings out the rope to practice his runs, and steps. He needs to be faster. Yeah, maybe that’s it.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, and then he starts. He counts in his head for every step he does, back and forth, but it doesn’t seem to stick to him. He still, somehow, feels slow.
He keeps going. Repeating his actions, until his toes feel sore, and time catches him quicker than his improvement.
Stretching his neck, Jeongguk plays around the ball, does a few dribbles here and there, and lands it into the net each time without a miss. But, maybe during Ilsan he’ll miss.
What if he misses?
Fuck.
You can’t miss.
Don’t miss.
Everyone’s watching you. They’ll think you’re weak if you miss.
Jeongguk retrieves the ball from the net, huffing out, and spitting onto the grass whenever his throat becomes too clogged, and too hot.
He’s in the middle of shaking his limbs when a shadow appears from the main streets of Seoul. It’s hard to decipher who it is, and Jeongguk doesn’t notice until the person is glowing with the field lights on them.
“Oh—of course you’re here.”
Jeongguk squints his eyes in disgust. “Why the fuck are you here?”
Taehyung points to his duffel bag. “Isn't it obvious? I’m getting some last minute training in before tomorrow.”
“What, like you care?” Jeongguk spits harshly because really, this couldn’t be more bothersome. Sure, already the presence of Taehyung is enough, but this really hits the nail.
“Hey, at least I’m doing it. I thought that’s what you wanted, Jeon. For the team, and shit. To show I care or whatever nonsense you tell me each time.”
Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “See, that’s what I mean, you don’t fucking care! Just stop acting like you care about this.”
Taehyung scoffs harshly. “It’s what you think. Whatever, Jeon. This is a waste of time.”
He walks away, makes space on the other end of the field, and starts putting on his cleats. Jeongguk can’t watch. The sight contradicts everything Jeongguk believes Taehyung is, and yet here he is, somewhat proving him wrong.
And for what? To make a point? A jab at Jeongguk, and to make him feel incredibly stupid? If yes, it’s working.
Trying his hardest to maintain his focus on the ball in between his legs, and the net near him, Jeongguk resumes his training.
If Taehyung’s presence feels too strong, Jeongguk bites his tongue, and fights through it. If he feels like Taehyung’s laughing behind his back, he ignores it.
He can’t let him distract him again.
That’ll only make him win.
It’s one of the hardest workouts Jeongguk’s had to do because it grows. Taehyung’s presence grows so big it almost suffocates Jeongguk’s breath when he sets to shoot the soccer ball, making him slip.
“Fuck!”
Taehyung’s head turns, noticing Jeongguk on the ground but remaining in his spot, and just when Jeongguk’s about to shout in his face for staring, he shows him his back, and continues in the runs he was practicing.
Motherfucker.
Getting back up on his feet, Jeongguk feels like he can’t proceed. Taehyung’s too—there, present, in his face, and it’s so fucking distracting.
Grabbing his soccer ball, Jeongguk marches up to Taehyung.
“Okay, the caring game’s over. Get the fuck out.”
Taehyung frowns. “What? I’m just practicing. If anyone should get off this field, it’s you Mr. Perfectionist.”
That does it.
“What the fuck do you want from me?!”
“Huh?”
“Whatever you’re doing, just stop. It’s getting old.” Jeongguk’s blabbering, and none of his words seem to catch Taehyung.
He remains still, with that godforsaken look on his face. One that tells Jeongguk he’s stupid, he’s too much but really he’s just trying. He’s trying for the team. To assure they don’t lose.
“If you want us to win, Kim, get off this field.”
Taehyung laughs. He laughs loudly, like whatever Jeongguk just said was meant to be funny when really it’s the truth. They need him to win.
“You want us to win, Jeon. See, that’s the difference between you and I. I don’t mind losing, it’s not the end of the fucking world if we do—”
“‘Cause shit isn’t important to you!”
God, Jeongguk wants to pull him, shake him into seeing things his way, but it seems hopeless.
“You sound fucking insane,” Taehyung says, tone completely baffled, but he does as told. He walks away, and starts removing his cleats, giving into Jeongguk’s wishes.
“You know, Jeon,” Taehyung starts. “If we lose tomorrow, I’m gonna blame it on you. And honestly? I fucking hope we do, so you grow up and realize there’s more to kicking a soccer ball around like a self-obsessed freak.”
Ouch .
Jeongguk tries not to let Taehyung’s words get to him, but they do. The longer the silence fills, the stronger those words become, and the more they carry importance.
“We won’t lose. Stop being a fucking dick.”
Taehyung shrugs. “Anything’s possible.”
“Bullshit.”
Taehyung swings the duffel bag over his chest, and then he grins. “Oh, trust me it is.”
“Oh yeah? How would you know.”
Jeongguk doesn’t expect for Taehyung to step so close , close enough for their breaths to meet in the middle, and brush slightly.
“I got to fuck you.”
Clenching his jaw, Jeongguk tries not to give out a reaction, and thankfully he doesn’t have to withhold the facade for long because then Taehyung’s walking past him, and slowly vanishing from the field.
Jeongguk feels like he can breathe properly again, the presence of Taehyung no longer strangling him.
But his words mark themselves, enough to carve a hole in Jeongguk’s head, and to mess further with his inner thoughts.
He’s becoming overwhelmed, but he tries to shut it down, and continues to practice.
There’s leftovers from dinner on the kitchen counter when Jeongguk steps inside. It’s Ryu’s doing—but Jeongguk can’t eat.
He feels sick to his stomach, and he still feels weak even after practicing to the bone, to the point his body is screaming at him to stop .
So, instead, he takes a shower quietly, and afterwards remains in only a pair of boxers before landing flat down onto his bed.
His body is exhausted but his mind is restless. It screams, repeats horrifying things that keep Jeongguk awake for longer than he’d like, but surprisingly his body fights back, and Jeongguk soon meets complete darkness.
Notes:
uh oh............
Chapter 13
Summary:
ITS GAME DAYYYYYY BITCHEEEESSSSSSSSS
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
from: jori
good luck on your game today!!!
Jeongguk reads over the message as he reaches the main entrance to the stadium. He’s wearing loose clothing, hair still damp from a shower earlier while carrying a duffel bag slung across his chest.
Sleeping before a big match is almost impossible for Jeongguk, which resulted in him gaining a solid four hours before getting up, and aiming for the Han River with his running shoes.
It felt freeing to get out there, to have the blood pumping and feel challenged a few hours before having to prove oneself to a huge crowd, and a Coach and team who are depending on him.
He pauses in his steps to respond to Jori, and ignores the throbbing pain in his head. It’s probably the lack of sleep, and Jeongguk figures it’ll disappear throughout the match, not giving it a second thought.
to: jori
thanks
miss u
There’s no immediate response, and Jeongguk doesn’t have more free time, so he shoves his phone into his duffel bag after putting it on silent mode, and walks further inside the building.
After pushing a big door open, Jeongguk arrives at where the locker rooms are located. There are voices echoing in the stranded and half dark hallway, announcing to Jeongguk that most of his team is already here, getting ready to play.
Most of the Red Devils are already present, preparing by doing last minute stretches, and others by making a mental rundown with themselves before Coach Lee and Jihoon give a signal that the match is starting.
Jeongguk rushes forward, drops his duffel bag by his locker, and greets his team properly, wishing them all the best.
When he turns his back, he closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, the headache slightly winning over by thumping loudly near his temples. Jeongguk bites his tongue, and ducks down to open his duffel bag, digging for his cleats and uniform.
The number one flashes his sight, along with his last name in black, bold letters.
“Shit—I barely recognized you, Taehyung.”
It’s Namjoon, and Jeongguk doesn’t turn, too focused on changing but also within the fact he’s still quite affected by what Taehyung told him. The last thing he wants–or needs–is for Taehyung to distract him minutes before their first big game into the Spring season.
Stripping himself from his zipper hoodie, and black t-shirt, the voices behind him continue.
“It looks good, Taehyung,” Soohyun praises, his voice always easy to catch with how much power he has in his tone. It’s one of the reasons he makes an excellent Team Captain.
“Thanks, had it done an hour ago,” Taehyung responds, a cocky snark to it.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, and proceeds to put on his uniform, the material soft and airy against his skin. He shoves his clothes in the locker in front of him while taking deep breaths to calm down his nerves that are ticking uncontrollably.
He feels too restless, but Jeongguk figures it’s good. It’ll make him move a lot more.
After putting on his shorts, Jeongguk moves to the wooden bench to put on his socks, and shin protectors along with his cleats, keeping his head down and eyes farthest from Taehyung who doesn’t stop talking about some guy that took the train from Busan to see him—or well, fuck him more specifically. Jeongguk blocks it out, focusing rather on assuring there's no loose ends, and tying the shoelaces extra tight.
“And then he—”
“Alright, are we ready boys?”
It’s Coach Lee, standing proudly with Jihoon beside him, holding a clipboard which tells them who’ll start out the first half of the match.
Jeongguk gets up, Hoseok joining beside him with a big smile on his face before Coach Lee gets another word in.
“I’ve seen some great improvement from everyone these past few weeks, and I have no doubt in any of you that we will make a name for ourselves this season. But remember, teamwork makes the dream work.”
The room explodes with noise from each teammate, all of it filled with encouragement, some even slamming their hands on the lockers to cheer everyone on. Jeongguk makes eye contact with Coach Lee for a second right before Jihoon takes over by stepping forward.
“We’ve been allowed five substitutes for this match, so I want everyone that’s benched for the first half to stay in tune with the match in case we’ll call you in. As always, we’ll start with our first stringers. Second stringers, don’t worry, there will be slots open if anything. Now, go Reds!”
Another round of roars circulate the tight fitted room, Jeongguk feeling a shake from Hoseok who’s throwing himself around, and jumping with two feet.
“Okay, five minutes boys. See you out there,” Coach Lee says, raising two thumbs up in the air, and soon walking out with Jihoon trailing behind.
The minute the door is shut, there’s a ruckus, voices overlapping which intensifies Jeongguk’s pounding headache, but he keeps it hidden especially when Hoseok stares him down for a bit longer than usual.
Now’s really not the time to worry about a fucking headache . And worst of all, have people worry for him.
To subside the worry in Hoseok, Jeongguk decides to look around him, and accidentally catches sight of Taehyung and—oh .
For a second, he thought Taehyung was someone else. Especially since the new haircut accomplished a brand new appearance.
His hair is different, no longer fluffy and upfront, but rather straightened down, short too, and paired with a visible fade on the sides. It takes Jeongguk a second to realize that it goes all the way around creating a simple undercut.
Jeongguk diverts his attention elsewhere, having seen enough, and also due to not wanting to seek out more details about this new look.
Instead he shakes his limbs, and takes a few deep breaths until the signal rings, and everyone starts moving out one by one.
The cheers from the crowd are already in full swing as they walk down the open hallway, light from the poles shining by the end of it.
The restlessness continues to be present, Jeongguk ignoring it when he steps onto the field, and jogs towards the middle where they’ll have to greet Ilsan’s team; the Mountain Airs.
Last year they did great, however no better than the Red Devils which does bring a certain calm in Jeongguk. It’s mostly the crowd that’s affecting him, eyes watching their every move, the pressure of making Seoul proud, his roommates…
By the thought of them, Jeongguk observes the mass of people, trying to spot his friends in there, and it doesn’t even take him a second due to the homemade poster Ryu’s holding which says ‘Go Jeon!’ on a neon bright sign catching his attention. A smile makes its way on Jeongguk’s face but quickly falls when an opposite player sends him a look of disgust.
It doesn’t click until Jeongguk realizes it’s one of the players that got a yellow card because of him last year.
Hiding a non guilt-ridden smirk, Jeongguk plays it off, greeting him with a hand as he moves along until the line finishes, and they’re sent off to their designated positions.
The referee steps in between Jimin, and another player with the number three on his shirt with a coin in his hand.
Jeongguk can’t hear what Jimin picks, but it doesn’t matter because they’re starting off with the ball first.
Mingyu’s in front of Jimin, ready to receive the soccer ball as soon as the referee blows on the whistle.
The pounding of his headache beats rapidly in Jeongguk’s ears as everyone waits for the game to start. Crouching a bit down in his legs, the ringing of the whistle sets off, and Jimin passes the ball to Mingyu whose eyes are already towards Soohyun, and Minho.
Jogging a bit forward to get rid of the defense player that’s almost rubbing against Jeongguk’s back, Mingyu jogs forward, avoiding obstacles quite easily, and landing the ball back towards Jimin when a player gets too close.
Then, Soohyun gains the ball, and catches Taehyung who’s standing free, the defense player pushed aside with a shoulder against his chest when his foot catches on.
Jeongguk makes a run for it to open a slot when Taehyung’s head turns drastically, indicating he’s searching around for him, however it makes him distracted and the Mountain Airs steal it, working their speed towards the other end.
Fuck.
The crowd makes a noise of complaint, and Jeongguk feels it too, sending a glare towards Taehyung who’s clenching his jaw. They don’t make eye contact, Taehyung refusing to look sideways, almost as if he knows he’ll gain a warning look that’ll only add fuel to a situation that’s already delicate enough as it is.
So, therefore, Jeongguk shakes off the feeling, picking himself back up, and proceeds to hang onto a thin thread of hope rather than starting a fight.
It seems that neither team have current luck in getting a goal in, Seokjin and Hoseok’s defense level almost unstoppable which builds a new chance for the Red Devils to get at least one goal before half-time.
The possibility shoots through Jeongguk when the sight of the soccer ball, led by Mingyu, is rolling forward after he’s gotten himself rid of the defense player breathing down his nape.
“Hey! Mingyu! Left!” Jeongguk shouts, a finger pointing in the air to make a clear indication that he’s free, and then it lands by his feet.
With a swift movement, Jeongguk moves towards the goal, the Mountain Airs catching up from the other end which adds tremendous pressure, but Jeongguk remains focused, eyes shifting between the ground and up at the netted goal where the goalkeeper stands on guard, arms stretched out, and legs in a crouch.
Come on, come on Jeongguk—
He’s just about to take his shot when someone attacks from behind, and sends the ball flying out of the field, the referee blowing on the whistle to indicate a sidelined throw to the Red Devils.
Jeongguk curses under his breath in frustration, and the player behind him snickers loudly.
Taehyung takes one for the team, no time to waste, and grabs ahold of the ball. Jeongguk steps backwards towards the net, hoping internally that he’ll manage at least one goal before the half-time to make the team feel secured during the second half.
They make eye contact, Taehyung nodding in reassurance and then the ball flies, Jeongguk jumping upwards to catch it with his chest. The ball rolls down to the tip of his cleat, and then he moves with speed, dodging three players that all try to steal it from him.
The tension grows, and so does the crowd, shouting with deeply based thrill while Jeongguk fights his way through, kicking with all he can towards the goal, but it’s blocked by a defender's back, and brought into the arms of the goalkeeper.
“Shit,” Jeongguk mutters under his breath when they’re forced back to their previous positions, waiting for the Mountain Air’s goalkeeper to shoot it towards the other end.
The ball lands in the hands of a striker, Jeongguk running forward alongside Taehyung when it grows tight around the one player who has a few good moves up his sleeve which causes him to trick Seokjin, and face Namjoon directly who’s eyeing him with a concentrated frown.
Thankfully, Namjoon manages to catch the ball with a side jump, hugging it as he lies there until the referee gives him a signal to proceed.
“Good job, Namjoon!” Soohyun shouts as he moves back towards the center, Jeongguk moving as well to—hopefully—catch the ball before the Mountain Airs run towards him to defend their goalkeeper.
Namjoon’s just about to kick it when Jeongguk lays out a sign by whistling with a hand up in the air.
But, with the long distance, the ball lands a bit further than where Jeongguk stands yet it doesn’t stop him from running towards in full speed, gaining ahold of it, and jog forward to maintain focus, eyeing his possibilities before the mass of people surround him.
Taehyung’s standing free, although he doesn’t make himself available to Jeongguk and while he would continue by himself, he can’t.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Coach Lee’s words ring, so Jeongguk passes the ball to Taehyung when the defender gets too close, creating an open slot for him to—
“Kim! Forward!” Jeongguk expresses, catching how Taehyung’s confused by his plan.
He listens, the ball rolling forward nearing the net, and then Jeongguk shouts.
“Right! To your right, Kim!”
Taehyung lifts his gaze, sending it back to Jeongguk just as he’s stretched out a leg, and then he kicks, the ball landing in the corner of the net, and brushing past the glove of the goalkeeper.
Fucking finally!
The crowd cheers for Jeongguk when he runs towards them in happiness with both arms up, the rest of his team following him to jump on him, pulling his shirt and giving wet kisses to his head.
All words of praise fly over Jeongguk’s head because one goal doesn’t equal victory.
This doesn’t signify a win, it showcases that they’re playing well, and that’s almost just as good—Coach Lee’s previous words, not Jeongguk’s own. Because, frankly, he disagrees. He doesn’t feel the same happiness and relief that his teammates do—no, he feels more pressure now.
It drives him to move faster when they’re all brought back in position, Mountain Airs starting out this time.
Sweat builds around Jeongguk’s chest, and on his face the more he runs, his hands trembling when he pulls the material upwards to wipe down.
Must be the adrenaline.
There’s five minutes left until break, and Jeongguk does anything for the scoreboard to remain one-zero to the Red Devils. He keeps looking over to the other referee that stands with a black electronic scoreboard, the lights flashing the numbers in bright red.
The game continues, and Jeongguk blocks whenever he can, and sometimes steals the ball, kicking it further the other end to prevent the Mountain Airs to catch a goal before the half-time buzzer rings through.
The minute it does, Jeongguk feels like he can breathe again. His skin feels hot, the nerves all over the place when he jogs to Coach Lee who’s smiling proudly at him.
Yoongi catches up with Jeongguk, slapping a hand onto his shoulder. “You’re doing great out there, kid.”
Jeongguk smiles. “Thanks, hyung.”
“You okay? You look pale as fuck.”
The heat is unbearable, but Jeongguk ignores it, nodding as he wipes down his face that’s layered in sweat. “M’fine.”
“Alright. Drink some water, yeah?”
The locker room fills up, the stench of sweat hard to miss, mixed with the smell of dirt, and freshly cut grass. Namjoon is in the middle of biting the edges of his white gloves to get them off when Jeongguk steps in, trailing closely behind Yoongi.
“Great assist out there, Taehyung.” Jeongguk overhears Soohyun saying while ruffling the strands of his freshly cut hair.
“Thanks, Cap.”
Jeongguk wants to scoff, because in all honesty, it was all him. Taehyung wouldn’t have thought twice about doing what Jeongguk did out there.
Pathetic.
Taehyung chugs some water, ignoring the glare Jeongguk sends him in bitterness, and instead pulls off his shirt to air out, something Jeongguk should do as well to avoid a form of heatstroke, skin on the brim of burning but he doesn’t.
By choice, Jeongguk grabs his white towel, patting down his nape and forehead as Coach Lee, and Jihoon enter.
“Kim, Jeon, great teamwork out there.”
The team cheers them on, whistling and clapping excitedly which causes Jeongguk to grow embarrassed due to gaining so much attention alongside Taehyung.
“Thanks Coach,” Taehyung answers while both hands hold onto the ends of his towel that’s hanging off his neck.
“Yeah, thanks,” Jeongguk says next, feeling like he should because Taehyung did.
“Let’s keep it consistent. If you feel like you can’t get another goal in, then remain focused on defending Namjoon. The last thing we want is a tie. Also, Park, try to make quicker passes to Mingyu to avoid Mountain Airs catching up.”
Jimin nods, taking the advice. “Got it.”
“For the rest of you, keep this going. You’re doing great. Jihoon, and I have faith in you.”
Then they walk out, leaving the team to cool off, drink water and fix anything that feels out of place—either on their uniforms or their cleats. Jeongguk feels the grass stick thickly under them, picking it out with his bare hands as he leans against the cold metal of the locker which brings his temperature down to normal.
Feeling a bit better, and ready in his legs, Jeongguk takes a sip of water before they’re called back out.
This time, Jeongguk has a better view of his roommates, all of them cheering for him, including Jackson who seems to be quite impressed by Jeongguk’s performance.
Ryu sends him flying kisses, the act so dramatic that Jeongguk starts laughing. He doesn’t get to see more, the field, and the soccer ball becoming his main focus again.
The pounding of his heart is loud in his ears when he takes a deep breath, and bends his legs, stretching out before the ball gains movement.
The Mountain Airs start off, passing it around in the center, Jeongguk focusing on where they’re headed, and if they’ll manage past Jimin, and Mingyu.
For precaution, Jeongguk steps closer, staying behind, ready to take charge if one of his teammates ever manages to steal it.
But Ilsan are good players. They’re not the greatest, but they’re good—quick on their feet, and with their next gesture which brings them a possibility to make the score equal.
Jeongguk can’t let that happen. And, maybe that’s why he takes it up a notch even though the beat of his heart is already incredibly rapid for someone who’s only been running for a solid two minutes.
“Park, push back!” Jeongguk shouts, sensing it’s what Jimin needs to hear, his feet so close to the ball yet he’s keeping a rough distance between the center midfielder, and himself.
His teammate listens, straightens up and knocks lightly with an elbow which causes the opposite player to lose structure, leaving the soccer ball behind for Jimin to take.
When he does, Jimin doesn’t hesitate to shoot it towards Jeongguk who’s been standing free for a while.
It brings them a step ahead, Jeongguk running towards the net in quick strides, the soccer ball rolling at full speed in front of him, and then he takes a chance, swinging his left leg with every force he’s got.
Time slows, the goalkeeper groaning out loud as he jumps up, and sadly ends up catching it. His feet are brought back onto the ground, and then he goes for it, shooting it towards the other end of the field which feels like landing back on ground zero.
Jeongguk tries not to think too much about it, how he failed so terribly because there’s still a chance, a chance that now seems to move further away from his reach but one nonetheless.
It’s what keeps him grounded, and concentrated.
Taehyung’s faster than him, already heading towards their end of the field due to Hoseok and Seokjin being pushed around. Jeongguk follows through, runs as fast as he can even though he suddenly feels hotter than earlier, and the sweat on his face continues to dribble down further into his uniform that’s already damp and quite heavy.
Nothing stops him from protecting his team, for keeping the score albeit—just like how Coach Lee wanted it.
Thankfully, Seokjin’s shoulder fights off the flying soccer ball, preventing the Mountain Airs from scoring, Jeongguk sighing in relief when it happens.
The crowd claps and cheers, praising Seokjin for protecting what could’ve been a direct goal. Hoseok pats him down on the back, and Namjoon shouts at him in gratitude for having his back before they’re heading back into the game.
For what feels like an eternity, Jeongguk spends most of his time standing free, and helps out his team by coldly pushing the strikers, and midfielders when they grow too close.
It tires him out, but Jeongguk ignores how his legs are starting to feel numb, and the headache has turned into an unbearable pain.
His team needs him.
He can’t back out now—even though deep down his body warns him to stop.
Jeongguk doesn't.
Feeling the tension grow, Jeongguk steals a glance sideways to the clock withheld by a referee. There’s ten minutes left. He can do this for ten more minutes. Easily.
The ball gets passed down to Taehyung, Mingyu kicking it free, and then he runs.
Jeongguk follows along on the other side in case the defense player pushes too hard, and Taehyung loses control.
Reaching close to the net, Jeongguk shouts. “Right! To your right!”
Taehyung listens, spinning around a defense player, and kicks the ball directly towards Jeongguk.
The pressure grows, the crowd louder and almost violent in their roars the closer Jeongguk gets to the net.
You can do it.
One more.
The sweat doesn’t stop dripping down, almost blocking Jeongguk from seeing what’s in front of him, and his panting breaths turn shorter. He pushes through despite his heart pounding loudly in his ears, too loud for it to be normal, almost like it’s sending him a warning, but Jeongguk doesn’t listen, he keeps going, runs until he’s free to kick.
Spots of white fill his vision, and Jeongguk blinks uncontrollably but doesn’t pay it any mind, still moving rather quickly.
Mere inches away from the net, Jeongguk sighs in relief when the possibility stands in front of him, yet just before he can swing his leg to send the ball into the net, his limbs stop listening to him, and he collapses down onto the field like he weighs nothing.
“Jeongguk!”
Everything goes black.
Notes:
*jeongguk about to score again*
jeongguk's body: I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU BITCH.
jeongguk:
also, for obvious reasons, no character asks for this chapter! :3
Chapter 14
Summary:
i can't believe i wrote all of this in 6 days. anyways enjoyyyyyyyy :DDDDDDDD
Notes:
sorry for the cliffhangers, it will probably happen again :P
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk doesn’t know what time or day it is when he wakes up. All he knows is that he’s not in his own bed, the mattress firm under him, and the whole room is white.
His head is throbbing when he moves around, eyes and vision adjusting, and that’s when he spots—
“Coach.”
Jeongguk’s voice is croaky and strained, but it still manages to wake up Coach Lee who’s been resting beside him on a chair. Both of his arms are crossed, head tilted forward as his chin meets the front of his shirt.
He sits up straight, and clears his throat. “You’re awake.”
Blinking in confusion, Jeongguk looks around. “Uh…yeah.”
It’s not hard to tell that there’s been some sort of blackout for Jeongguk, and the lack of information is only making it worse. Thankfully, Coach Lee is quick to catch on, and fills him in.
“You collapsed ten minutes before the match ended.”
Ah. Right.
That happened.
Jeongguk instantly sees it all over again. The ball in front of him, vision turning blurry, and his body feeling light and numb. He couldn’t feel anything once he fell, but he heard someone shout his name before everything turned dark.
“Right…I—Did we win?” Jeongguk asks as he moves around on the bed, his butt feeling sore due to the hard material.
Coach Lee sighs, gaze dropping down to the floor. “Jeongguk.” His tone is cold, warning and biting, which causes Jeongguk to freeze. Coach Lee has never talked to him this way before, at least not alone. He had once, but that was when Taehyung had refused to pass to Jeongguk, which had caused a lot of tension to break out.
“I—” Jeongguk’s voice is clogged.
Emotions are building up, along with the anxiety that swirls beneath his skin and inside his veins.
“You had everyone scared to death out there.”
Shame gets brought upon him, heavy on the shoulders as he slumps into the bed, toying with the fabric of the blanket.
“I’m sorry—”
Coach Lee shakes his head. “Jeongguk, stop.” He leans forward, elbows now supported on both knees. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m worried—the whole team is worried.”
“Coach, I never meant to—”
Another shake to the head. “I know, but whatever you’re doing, it’s not healthy and it has got to stop. Listen, your heart slowed down.”
A chill runs down his spine. “What?”
“When the paramedics came, they had a hard time locating it.”
This is worse than Jeongguk thought. It goes against everything he’s worked for. How come his body is giving up on him when he’s done a good job in keeping himself in shape?
“You pushed yourself too hard, Jeongguk. I suggest you stop—well, actually, I’m forcing you to.”
Jeongguk’s heart drops. “Wait—what, what do you mean?”
“I’m putting you on sick leave for the rest of the season. I’m bringing Minjae in.”
For a second, Jeongguk feels like he’s blacked out again. He forgets where he is, and what he just heard, his eyes staring into nothing, yet the news sinks deeper and deeper into him. It’s not even weighing him down, but it’s jabbing the weakest spot inside him which is his nonexistent pride.
He can’t be replaced, he can’t just not play soccer this season. He’s worked for this for months, and now he’s being replaced by a fucking substitute ?!
“You can’t be serious—Coach I can play! Let me play, please I—”
Coach Lee cuts him off. “You’re not in shape to play, Jeongguk. What happened out there, that can’t happen again. I’m not putting you at risk of hurting yourself again. Trust me, this is for the best, even though it wasn’t an easy decision.”
This can’t be.
This can’t fucking be…
“Coach…I need to play.”
The man in front of him doesn’t crack. He keeps it on a surface with a harsh edge to it. It tells Jeongguk everything he needs to know. There’s no way around it.
“You should rest some more.”
The finality in Coach Lee’s tone hurts deeply, and as soon as the door slides shut, Jeongguk breaks down.
Jeongguk’s neck feels sore when he wakes up again, this time alone, and the room is colder than before. Goosebumps are visible on his exposed skin, and his tears have dried out in the corner of his eyes.
He’s staring blankly when the doctor walks in, a woman in her forties, with a pearly white smile.
“You look better today,” she notes, looking down at the clipboard. “How are you feeling?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “Better, I guess.”
“Do you feel well rested?”
“Yeah. I feel fine.”
She hums. “Okay. Well, Jeongguk, I’m letting you leave. You seem to be doing fine after resting properly, and I strongly recommend that you continue doing that when you’re returning to your daily life.”
“Okay…”
“The results we gained when we got you weren’t great. You were dehydrated, lacking nutrients, and your stomach was empty. That was the reason for the collapse. Along with the heat, and moving your body without any proper breaks. So, when I let you leave today, I need you to start eating properly, get a decent amount of sleep, and cut down on your personal training.”
Jeongguk nods. He feels guilt. This is his own fault, not taking proper care of himself and allowing things that don’t do any good for him to consume his very being, and control him. It’s brought him behind rather than forward, and Jeongguk isn’t willing to risk anything despite the voices in his head screaming in agony.
“When you say cut down…How much are we talking?” Jeongguk hates that he’s asking about this, but he has to know, because he can’t just stop .
“I’d suggest no more than three times a week. I know you’re a soccer player, and have practice but working out everyday is unhealthy.”
“So, I can still play soccer despite what happened?”
She nods. “Yes, but only if you’re willing to change your bad habits. Is there anything else?”
Jeongguk shakes his head silently.
“Okay, then you’re free to go, Jeongguk.”
“Thank you.”
Somehow, returning home is harder than it seems. Jeongguk stands outside the door for what feels like hours, hand itching in his pocket to open, the urge of a reflex coming to the surface.
Yet, something’s holding him back. He feels fucking embarrassed.
Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk bites down his tongue, and types in the passcode, the beeping noises erupting as he steps inside the hallway to take off his shoes.
It’s quiet in the apartment until Jeongguk drags both feet further inside towards the living room, and his roommates spot him.
“Jeongguk. Oh my God.” Ryu gets up in an instant, rushing over to embrace him. Jeongguk buries his face in his t-shirt, hiding as Ryu’s arms wrap tightly around him, one hand patting his shoulder gently. “I was worried sick.”
Hector trails behind, leaning into Jeongguk from the side while Jackson sits on the couch, staring at them with an expression that’s hard to read.
“How’re you feeling?” It’s Hector asking, a firm hand pressing down onto Jeongguk’s shoulder.
“Better.”
Ryu releases his hold but keeps a grip around Jeongguk’s wrist, almost as if he’s scared he’ll collapse again.
“I’m really sorry that you had to see that.”
“What? Why are you saying that?”
Jeongguk shrugs while staring at his slippers. “I don’t know…I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Hector nods. “We know. We’re here for you if there’s anything at all that you need. Seriously, if you need to talk, we’re here.”
Another squeeze to his shoulder, and Jeongguk already feels a bit better than when he had first stepped in. “Thanks. I know.”
Ryu drags him to the couch. “Now, sit. Let’s watch something—or wait, are you hungry?”
His stomach feels a bit empty, and instead of Jeongguk choosing a restless choice, he listens to not only his body but the doctor too. “Yeah, I could eat.”
“I’ll make you something.” Ryu says, ruffling his hair before disappearing behind him and into the kitchen.
Jackson remains quiet, and it isn’t until Jeongguk smiles awkwardly at him when they gain eye contact that he breaks the silence.
“It’s good to have you back, Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, it feels good being back home.”
“What do you feel like watching? I heard there’s a new horror movie on Netflix.”
“Horror? Oh, that sounds fun.”
Jackson smiles. “Perfect, let me find it.”
Hector begins to move around, grabbing some things before stepping beside Jeongguk to give him a small hug. “I’m going to Joonie’s. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
As the savory smell from the kitchen becomes more prominent, Jackson and Jeongguk are halfway through the sinister movie that has nothing but echoey, and uncomfortable music playing. It’s almost comical with how off-key it is, and on top of that, it’s strange that Jeongguk is sitting here watching this after he just got out of the hospital. So instead of feeling frightened, they’re both laughing loudly, catching Ryu’s interest as his hands are busy mixing the Dak Gomtang, one of Jeongguk’s favorite soups.
“This movie is fucking stupid. Let me check the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes,” Jackson says as they’ve reached the middle point, pulling his phone from the side pocket. “Okay, the rating is comical. I should’ve known that Netflix would’ve allowed such a crappy movie to gain exposure.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Of course.”
“Dinner’s ready.” Ryu calls from the kitchen while bringing out bowls, and spoons.
Jackson stands up, Jeongguk following close behind as they walk towards the kitchen counter, and sit down to eat.
“Thanks again, Ryu.”
Ryu brushes him off by ruffling his hair. “Yeah, yeah. Just eat.”
He does as told, slurping gently on the warm soup, as Jackson does the same beside him while complimenting Ryu on his cooking skills.
“Well if you like mine, you’re going to love Jeongguk’s. He’s the best chef in the house.”
“Oh, really?” Jackson asks, surprise written all over his face.
“I used to watch a lot of cooking videos on Facebook in high school,” Jeongguk admits, Jackson chuckling at the honesty.
“Love that.”
It grows quiet, everyone enjoying the warm dinner, Jeongguk almost forgetting everything that has happened the past two days, and the news Coach Lee had dropped on him.
But, the reminder is quickly brought back.
“Did the doctor tell you anything specifically?”
“You sound like his mom,” Jackson states jokingly, Jeongguk snorting mid-bite.
Ryu rolls his eyes, a smile prominent on his face which tells them that he’s not taking any offense, but finds it rather comical. “Well yeah, look at him. He’s so baby.”
Jeongguk frowns. “You’re not even a month older than me…”
“Your point?”
Jackson laughs loudly now, having to leave the spoon unattended in the bowl to muffle his mouth with a hand.
“Alright, alright.” Jeongguk finally says before answering Ryu’s question. “But, uh, the doctor told me I have to change my training routine. I’m working out too much, and that’s part of the cause for my collapse. Also, I hadn’t eaten properly and was dehydrated.”
Jackson nods. “And the heat probably didn’t help either…”
“Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I’m fine as long as I cut down on training but…” Jeongguk feels his throat tighten, the emotions still clogged from yesterday.
Ryu raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“Well…Coach Lee he’s—” Jeongguk clears his throat. “He’s putting me on sick leave. I’m basically benched for the rest of the season.”
“So…You won’t be able to play?”
Jeongguk nods in confirmation.
“I’m so sorry, Jeongguk. Why did he do that? Did he explain why?”
“Yeah, kinda? He was afraid it would happen again—which is understandable, especially after scaring everyone and—yeah, I don’t know. I get him, but I’m not damaged .”
Ryu hums. “No, of course not, but he’s your Coach, and he only wants what’s best for you.”
Jeongguk knows that, but it doesn’t remove the fact that the news is hurtful, and a stab to the heart. “Yeah…I guess.”
“It doesn’t remove the fact that it hurts.” Jackson butts in to say, speaking words that bring enormous comfort to Jeongguk’s fragile state.
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you can convince him to bring you back in? Mention what the doctor told you?” Ryu shares, bringing a sliver of hope to Jeongguk.
“Maybe? I don’t know if it’ll work. He seemed pretty confident in his decision.”
Jackson knocks their elbows together lightly. “You never know unless you try.”
“You’re right. Thanks.”
Ryu nibbles his lip, staring sideways to avoid Jeongguk directly, and something tells him his roommate has something on the tip of the tongue but is afraid of unleashing the contents of it.
“What is it?”
Ryu widens his eyes. “Nothing! Nothing important.”
Jeongguk can’t help but eye him suspiciously. “You’re acting weird…”
“No, seriously it doesn’t matter. It’s stupid.”
“Just say it.”
His roommate gives in. “It’s just—well, when the incident happened, Taehyung he…” Ryu pauses to stare intensely at Jeongguk, almost as if he wants to see his reaction to what he tells him next. “He ran to you, and picked you up so the paramedics could bring you to the hospital faster.”
Jeongguk tries not to visibly show a reaction, but his jaw clenches uncontrollably. “Hm.”
“Yeah, again, nothing important jus’ noticed' that he—well, it doesn’t matter now!” Ryu stops talking, and focuses rather on collecting the dishes. Jackson is no better, weirdly quiet, and calm— way too calm.
What the fuck is happening?! Kim fucking Taehyung…He—what?!
Jeongguk clears his throat, the information taking a rather big space in his head—too much for his liking which causes him to grow annoyed. “I’m gonna get some more rest. Doctor’s orders!” He salutes, and cringes immediately after turning around because seriously what the fuck is he doing, and what the fuck is happening?!
This is fine.
His bedroom is exactly how he left it the morning of the match against the Mountain Airs—messy, and chaotic, bed sheets all over the place, and half of his closet is on the floor. Jeongguk still remembers having trouble finding the right shirt for after the match due to the Red Devils always celebrating after winning a match by hitting a bar downtown.
Shit—did they even win?!
Jeongguk realizes he never found out, and when he’s stepping back out of his bedroom, Ryu is nowhere to be found, and Jackson is lounging on the couch.
“Hey, hyung? Can I ask you something?”
Jackson turns his head. “Yeah, wassup?”
“Did we win?”
“Yeah.”
Relief floods into Jeongguk’s nervous system. “Fuck. Thank God.”
Jackson tongues at his cheek. “Hey, Jeongguk?”
“Hm?”
“Wanna go for a walk?”
“Okay, yeah, sure.”
Jackson smiles. “Great, wanna see what else is around here. Also, walking helps you digest better, and it makes you tired. My doctor recommended it to me when I was diagnosed with insomnia.”
“Ah, okay that makes sense, yeah. Let me just go grab a beanie ‘cause I think it’s a bit cold right now.”
“Okay, sure. I’ll meet you out front.”
Walking back inside his bedroom, Jeongguk ignores the obvious mess in front of him, instead he steps over the pile of clothing, and digs an arm around to grab the first beanie he can feel.
The one he grabs is black, matching the all-black-outfit he’s already wearing.
Covered now from head-to-toe, Jeongguk meets Jackson out front, the weather not too bad, but it’s a bit cold.
Walking down the stairs, Jackson asks Jeongguk all kinds of questions in relation to university, and soccer. It feels good talking to Jackson, it’s light, easier than he imagined when he had first met him at the beginning of the year.
Sure, he’d heard stories from Hector, how Jackson inspired him a lot in terms of self-love, and self improvement, but being in the company of Jackson is very different—in a good way. He’s surprising, and not at all like how Jeongguk pictured him. He’s more collected, calm yet is funny at times, but the kind of funny that makes your stomach hurt because you’re laughing too hard.
And, well, he’s direct.
Jeongguk still hasn’t forgotten Jackson asking him so openly about Taehyung, as if it wasn’t totally crazy. Okay, yeah, it was the… truth but saying it loud sounds unrealistic, and mind blowing.
So yes, Jeongguk is slowly getting to know him more and more, and Jackson keeps surprising him every time.
He does it again when they take a left, heading for the Han River where the sun is no longer visible.
“Hey, I know we’re still getting to know each other, and you might not feel comfortable telling me everything that’s going on, but I just want to let you know, I’ve been there, and I get it. Well—in my own way, but I understand you.”
Jeongguk raises both eyebrows.
This is…unexpected.
“How come?”
Jackson smacks his lips. “Hm. My first year of uni, I was overworking myself. I thought I could handle more than I was actually capable of—juggling between planning parties every weekend, and my assignments. And there were signs that it was taking a toll on me, but I was ignorant. I didn’t take care of myself, and it resulted in me burning out. I couldn’t move for months, couldn’t do anything because I was exhausted, and overwhelmed that the slightest thing seemed like the hardest task in the world. I had to drop out, and start over.”
Jeongguk’s heart drops in sympathy.
Everything makes more sense now, Jackson noticing Jeongguk was pushing himself too hard even though he hadn’t said a word, letting him know he’s here if he needs anyone, an option Jackson may have wished he had back then through his own experiences.
“I’m really sorry, hyung.”
Jackson smiles softly. “Thanks, I’m okay now. I got the help that I needed to get myself out of it.”
Jeongguk’s ears perk in curiosity. “How? What did you do?”
“I went to therapy.”
“Therapy,” Jeongguk repeats, blinking once.
“Yeah. My therapist made me understand why I did these things, and taught me how to avoid falling back to these bad habits.”
Jeongguk never considered therapy. He’s also never known anyone who’s gone, so the concept has always seemed foreign and out of reach to him, but listening to Jackson being so open, and calm makes Jeongguk realize it’s worked out for him because of it.
“It helps a lot, talking to someone—not necessarily someone you know but just someone.”
Jeongguk never really thought about talking about his issues with anyone, and the idea of doing it with someone he doesn’t even know feels too out of place. He doesn’t want to bother anyone with what he’s carrying heavily on both shoulders—but maybe Jackson is right. Maybe, it’ll help him. Maybe he’ll be able to play if he’s serious about taking care of himself.
“I’ll think about it,” Jeongguk says before it grows too silent.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just wanted to let you know that it’s not dumb or annoying to reach out to someone for help. In the end, it ends up becoming the best thing you could’ve done for yourself.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
⚽⚽⚽
Relaxing isn’t easy—it’s actually quite hard because Jeongguk still has the urge to move . His thoughts keep piling up, brutal and more intense this time which explains why Jeongguk is sitting down on his bedroom floor, going through his laundry basket, and sorting through it before taking it to the campus laundromat.
It’s not even his task this month—Ryu still has the area which is the bathroom and laundry, but Jeongguk has an itch, and his thoughts have turned deeply uncomfortable ever since the incident.
However, he has to learn how to relax , how to maintain himself from going for a run every morning, and decrease the level of training he does for soccer.
So, even though he doesn’t need to do laundry right now, he has to do something that doesn’t require his body to move too much.
Laundry is the way to go.
Usually, he has a bigger bag but Jeongguk could only find some dirty underwear that was considered an urgent wash. The netted-bag hangs off his arm when he steps outside, putting on his headphones as he walks towards campus, the weather pleasant even though it’s reached early evening, sun slowly disappearing behind the axis.
Seoul University isn’t crowded at a time like now, most students home to rest before another busy day. Jeongguk should do the same, but he can’t get rid of his annoying itch. It’s almost become a part of him.
You’d think the accident would’ve removed the bad habits, halted them to a stop but instead it’s done nothing—well other than ruin the Spring season for him.
Jeongguk kicks a rock in front of him, the anger prominent at the tip of his feet.
“Fucking ridiculous,” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath.
Arriving at the laundromat, Jeongguk notices he’s not alone, there’s someone else there, a washing machine loudly buzzing in the wide room.
Ignoring the presence of the stranger whose back is turned to Jeongguk, he decides to throw the pile of underwear in, and pour in the products that are free of use.
The rumbling from the machine erupts, Jeongguk now trying to find somewhere to sit, preferably in front of it so he can watch it spin as the music grows louder, and louder in his ears.
Just as he’s about to settle down, he feels a poke on his shoulder. He turns, surprised by—
“Oh, Jimin, hey.”
“It’s good to see you,” his teammate admits with a precise gaze, one that’s filled with pity. Jeongguk feels it, hates it but brushes it off because he knows Jimin means well.
“Yeah, you too,” Jeongguk says, fully removing his headset, letting it hang off his neck.
“So, how’re you feeling? Better?”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, much better.”
Jimin sighs in relief. “Thank God. It was rough without you.”
The comment makes Jeongguk wince. “Right…about that—”
His teammate stares with a worried expression. “What? What’s wrong?”
Somehow, Jeongguk figured that Coach Lee, and Jihoon had shared the news with the team already, but by the looks of it, they’re probably waiting for the practice on Tuesday to do it.
It causes conflict in Jeongguk if he should admit it beforehand.
“Jeongguk?” Jimin asks, sounding more worried than before.
Jeongguk sighs, giving in. “Uh—Coach is putting me on sick leave. I’ll be benched the rest of the season, and Minjae will be substituting for me.”
Jimin’s lips tighten at the news. He remains quiet, filling the silence that’s already killing Jeongguk, and on top of that having to repeat news that is still deeply hurtful.
“I’m really sorry to hear that, Jeongguk,” he says after a solid minute of silence.
“It’s fine… just sucks. I’m doing better, so it’s hard for me to understand why Coach is denying me of playing and—”
“Well… it was bad. I mean, Jeongguk, you fell flat like you weighed nothing. That shit was scary for everyone. Coach Lee was so pale, you’d think he’d pass out in shock—Ryu couldn’t stop crying when they brought you out, the same for Hector. Thankfully Jackson was there to console them but—it was bad. Coach is probably just looking out for you, which is maybe why he benched you?”
New revelations of the accident result in Jeongguk’s body to freeze. His mind can’t help but fabricate what Jimin just told him—the sight of Ryu, and Hector breaking down, twisting his gut uncomfortably.
“I know he means well, but I’m fine! I’m not… I’m not incapable of anything now just because I collapsed.”
Jimin nods. “I know. Listen, I’m upset too. You’re one of the best players on the team. I mean, you make us win almost every time, so for Coach Lee to bench you, chances of us losing are higher now than winning.”
Jeongguk gains chills. He hates losing. “Hopefully, Minjae plays well…”
This is really what it’s come to. Hoping for the best, and betting everything onto one person. God, Jeongguk would hate to be Minjae right now.
“Guess we’ll find out on Tuesday.”
“Yeah.”
“But, really, it’s great to see you again Jeongguk. Well, and all,” Jimin admits in a genuine tone.
“Sorry for scaring you out there.”
Jimin shakes his head. “It’s okay, I knew you were gonna be okay. You’re strong.”
“Thanks. Uh, how’s everyone? The team? I haven’t really reached out in the groupchat.”
“They’re okay. Coach sent us an email when you had woken up, so everyone is aware that you’re doing better. Don’t worry.”
“That’s good.” Jeongguk wants to say more—ask about what he’d heard from Ryu, his head still having a hard time wrapping around the fact that Taehyung rushed to him first, and carried him to the paramedics. But he doesn’t. “And, how’re you? You okay?”
Jimin nods, sits back down onto the wooden bench in the middle of the two rows of washing machines, and dryers. Jeongguk joins him.
“Yeah, I’m good—well except for the fact that I’m doing Taehyung’s assigned chore ‘cause he just had to meet up with—” Jimin pauses. “Wait, I forgot her name…Uh, well never mind. I only agreed ‘cause he promised to buy take-out for us tomorrow, so now we’re here.” He points around him to prove his point further, and Jeongguk shakes his head.
Kim Taehyung and his fucking antics. It’s not even surprising at this point. Jeongguk can’t believe that Taehyung has stated multiple times that he’s assuming too much about him when he’s been right every, single, time.
The thought makes him chuckle under his breath.
Jimin catches on. “What?”
“Oh, nothin’.”
⚽⚽⚽
“Okay, I think it’s the next one,” Ryu says while staring face down into his phone.
“Alright,” Jeongguk responds, moving aside when three girls walk past him arm in arm, none of them mindful of his presence.
They both start walking, the streets in Hongdae crowded to the brim. Jeongguk feels himself grow hot by the intensity of exactly how many people are around him, meanwhile Ryu is smiling widely in excitement, dragging Jeongguk forward with a harsh pull to the sleeve of his denim jacket.
“I think this is the place!”
Jeongguk studies the outside, big signs flashing cheap prices for drinks while the music booms through the walls, giving them a glimpse of what they can expect to hear tonight.
And then there’s the line, so long that it curves around the corner of the street. There’s a small outdoor space, some drunks smoking cigarettes, the smell stronger due to the lack of wind tonight.
Jeongguk is just about to walk towards the end of the line, when Ryu’s grip tightens around his sleeve.
“Wha—”
“Jackson has us on the list.”
Jeongguk blinks in confusion and Ryu groans lightly. “Just—follow me.”
They walk towards the door, two tall men glaring at them intensely which causes Jeongguk to hide behind Ryu.
“Excuse me, is this NB2? We’re friends with Jackson,” Ryu asks one of the muscular, and well-built bouncers by the entrance. Eyes are trained on both of them coldly while the back of his neck is decorated by a plastic wire that connects to his ear.
“Wang?” Ryu tries again when the bouncer doesn’t budge.
He looks aside, holding onto the ear piece as he mumbles something incoherent, and then he opens the small door, nodding in approval.
“Thanks!”
Inside, there’s a girl sitting on a bar stool, guiding both Ryu and Jeongguk to give her their wrists, and that’s when it clicks for Jeongguk that she’s about to stamp them with the logo of the club. She chews gum loudly when she does it, distracting Jeongguk from feeling the ink dry out on his skin.
The logo is big, covering half of Jeongguk’s naked skin. It’s in black, already a bit faded due to the low quality of the product.
“You’re good to go,” she tells them, and Jeongguk gives her an awkward, tight-lipped smile as he walks past, joining Ryu further down the steep, narrow stairs.
It’s decorated by bright neon colors, the strip glued to the wall, ending by the second door which Ryu doesn’t hesitate to open, and now—now this place looks like a club.
The room is packed with bodies, forced to be glued to each other. Some hold their drinks above their heads when they move around, careful not to spill, and the music is so loud Jeongguk thinks his ears might pop.
It smells like sweat, a mix of different perfumes, and just overall stuffy. Jeongguk feels like he has a hard time breathing properly, but he’s too focused on following Ryu around, scared to lose him.
Ryu seems to love it. He’s got this look on his face—one that tells Jeongguk that this was exactly what he needed this Saturday after a full week of assignments, and classes piling up before the exams come into play in May.
The smells in the club turn more prominent the further they walk in, pressed against others whose shirts are damp with sweat along with the ends of their hair. Jeongguk is instantly reminded of the state he was in back at the New Year’s Party, how hot his skin felt, and the amount of sweat he produced in such small hours.
The memory forces him to take off his denim jacket, and the action is too quick, Jeongguk elbowing someone in the process. He’s just about to turn around to apologize when Ryu pulls him by the end of his jacket.
With Ryu’s mouth close to Jeongguk’s ear, he shouts. “I spotted Jackson!”
They walk through the crowd, Jeongguk holding onto the fabric of the denim, afraid it’ll fall off, and after what feels like forever, Jackson comes into view.
He’s sitting next to a few other guys on a big couch, the area closed off to others which explains how there’s barely anyone else around them. The table in front of them is filled with drinks, some empty and other’s half full and most likely abandoned. Jackson’s hitting a vape, giggling while someone next to him talks animatedly.
Ryu waves when the restricted area is clearer, and Jackson catches them quickly, signaling to one of the bodyguards to let them in, the fancy velour string now pulled apart with a click.
The first thing Jeongguk notices is how it’s less stuffy here, lungs feeling less restricted when he takes a deep breath. It’s also not as hot, the trickling sweat that started to build on his lower back stopping in an instant.
“Hey. Glad you could make it. Guys, this is Ryu, and Jeongguk, my roommates.”
Everyone greets them in unison, Jeongguk waving, feeling rather awkward with how many eyes are on him. So, instead, he starts to look around, the view of the club clearer now as he removes his jacket properly. Ryu keeps chatting with the strangers, their conversation turning into white noise the more Jeongguk focuses on his surroundings.
There’s two bars, one in the corner, and another that already starts by the entrance. People are glued to the bar top, some trying to grab their drinks without spilling, and others with a small hand raised in the air to gain the attention from one of the bartenders.
“What do you guys wanna drink?” Jackson asks, Jeongguk returning his attention to his roommate.
Ryu ponders. “Hm… Is there a list somewhere?”
“There should be one by the bar. I ordered something called a Passionista—it tastes really sweet.”
“Good to know. We’ll go get something, are you staying here?”
Jackson nods. “Yeah, but in around…” He looks down at his phone. “An hour and a half, I have to be out back and help out, ‘cause that’s when the club is full.”
Fuck, and here Jeongguk thought it’d already reached it’s limit. The thought makes his skin turn hot again.
“That’s okay. We’ll be back.”
Jeongguk turns around to join Ryu when Jackson speaks again.
“Jeongguk, you can just leave your jacket here.”
Grateful, Jeongguk accepts and leaves it in the corner of the couch.
The minute they step away from the restricted area, Jeongguk grows hot, his t-shirt barely helping him out in breathing properly. The overbearing sound system makes it worse when they take a wide turn, the crowd too tight to go through. Ryu grabs Jeongguk’s inked wrist, smudging the logo when they finally reach the bar, no one standing in proper lines, forcing them to shove—or well Ryu does, and Jeongguk just hides behind him, apologizing whenever he gains eye contact with someone who’s clearly pissed off, and extremely offended.
The sticky bar top meets Jeongguk’s stomach, the grip around his wrist gone, and Ryu doesn’t hesitate to lean forward, trying his best to gain eye-contact with one of the bartenders who are running back and forth—some with a mixer, and others with an empty plastic cup.
Pop music plays in the speakers, Jeongguk recognizing the song and mumbles the lyrics under his breath as he waits, Ryu too focused to get them drinks to talk.
A girl shoves her way in next to Jeongguk, smelling like a mix of hairspray, and cherry lipstick. Jeongguk scrunches his nose, overwhelmed by the scents that seem to be so strong, the sweat from the crowd is suddenly nonexistent.
Thankfully, Ryu manages to get a hold of a bartender, ordering for both of them.
She’s quick to bring out a tray, filling it with shot glasses before fetching the bottle of tequila. She pours while dancing to the music that plays, smiling at both Ryu and Jeongguk.
Still in the middle of her order, the girl beside Jeongguk starts shouting over the music.
“Can I have a—”
“I’ll be with you in just a second,” the bartender interrupts while not even looking at her.
Jeongguk tries to hold back an eye roll at the girl’s impatience. Ryu seems to agree with the stinky eyed look he throws without shame—the stranger too drunk to notice.
Finally, the shots are done, two more glasses prompted onto the counter, one with salt, and the other with three limes cut in slices. Jeongguk receives an ice cold soda, the ice cubes thick, and taking up half of the cup’s size. As he sips on the two thin black straws, Ryu takes a deep breath before licking the salt from his hand, and knocking one shot down after the other.
Jeongguk doesn’t know if he should be impressed or deeply worried.
Biting into the sliced lime, Ryu makes a noise of disgust, his eyes squinted and his lips are curled into a grimace. Jeongguk laughs at his roommate, almost spilling his soda in the process.
“Fuck you!”
“Dude—you’re the one who ordered Tequila! This was all you.”
Ryu shoves Jeongguk lightly in offense. “Alright, smartass. Wanna dance?”
“Sure.”
Cup close to his chest, Jeongguk moves carefully behind Ryu who’s carelessly going through the crowd of people—ignoring the sided glances from some of the strangers.
Finding a good spot in the middle, and not too far from the section where Jackson is, Ryu starts to dance, tilting his head back as he screams the lyrics from the chorus. Jeongguk doesn’t know the song, so he focuses on drinking to avoid spilling the remains on his t-shirt. He really wants to avoid carrying around a sugary smell on him throughout the whole night.
A group are almost glued to them, one of the girls staring at Ryu while she tries to sip casually but fails, the straw almost poking her in the eye. Jeongguk tries his hardest not to laugh, although Ryu, feeling the tequila begin to hit doesn’t even notice.
It goes on for a while. The music vibrates under their feet, clothes turning rather damp, and Jeongguk’s ankles feel sore from jumping up and down for a solid four songs. He’s already done with the soda, the ice cubes melting slowly in the plastic cup, and gaining a rather weird color.
“Oh my god!” Ryu shouts suddenly, both eyes going wide, and for a second Jeongguk feels anxious. “We’ve barely hung out with Jackson! We’re such shit roommates!”
Yeah, Ryu is definitely feeling the buzz from those Tequila shots.
“Then, let’s go back,” Jeongguk says into Ryu’s ear, he nods, and starts pushing his way through to the corner of the club.
Jeongguk accidentally steps on someone’s shoe when they escape the tight-fitted crowd—the stranger rather pissed, and shouting all kinds of things, none of it ever making its way to Jeongguk directly because of the loud music.
Finally, they find Jackson again, and are being let in quicker this time.
“What’d you order?”
“I got some Tequila shots, and Jeongguk got a soda. He’s not allowed to drink during the soccer season,” Ryu explains, stumbling a bit through his words but Jackson seems to have caught it all.
“Ah right, that makes sense.”
Suddenly, Ryu gasps. “You know what would be really good right now?”
Everyone stares in confusion. “What?”
“Rumplemintz!”
“Rumple…what?”
“Oh God. Ryu, no!” Jeongguk whines, head buried in his hands.
This is bad. This is really bad.
While Jeongguk thought Ryu was a good drunk—it turns out, he’s crazy drunk tonight.
And crazy-drunk-Ryu always wants Rumplemintz.
“Oh, dude, you’re in for discovering the best fucking thing a bar has to offer.”
Jeongguk can’t help but look disgusted, the memory of trying Rumplemintz back during the first semester still pretty vivid. He hated it, still does to this day but Ryu? Ryu loves it.
Jeongguk’s aware that it’s not because of the peppermint taste, but the result it brings. It gets you so drunk, two to three shots alone will do the job.
Jackson seems intrigued by Rumplemintz, getting up to follow Ryu to the bar. “Alright, let’s see what this Rumplemintz is all about.”
“It’s disgusting,” Jeongguk says with full honesty.
Ryu frowns in anger. “Don’t listen to him. He’s a pussy when it comes to real liquor.”
“Okay, fuck you, that’s not true. Also, let’s not forget how fucked up you got last time you drank it.”
“At least I didn’t have to pay a shit ton of money to get drunk!”
Jackson whistles. “Touché. Alright, let’s go.”
An upbeat song plays in the background while they walk towards the bar which causes everyone to dance wildly, their bodies jerking to the beat, some even jumping up high while shouting the lyrics for everyone to hear. Jeongguk feels his skin turn sticky and hot again but ignores it when they’ve reached the bar top again.
“Oh, Jackson, hey!”
“Hana, how’re you? Not too bad tonight?”
It’s the same girl who poured Ryu’s shots earlier with such class.
Hana leans over, enough for her face to be inches away from Jackson’s. Jeongguk’s brows raise in surprise, Ryu no better with the way his jaw has dropped so far down.
She’s just about to move closer when she changes directions, and aims for his ear instead. “You know I got it. Now, what can I get for you?”
“Rumplemintz. Four shots.”
“Coming right up,” Hana says, sliding a hand over Jackson’s naked arm before she turns around, and grabs the liquor, and some shot glasses.
Ryu is just about to ask, but then she’s facing them again, pouring into the shot glasses that are lined up.
“Cheers!” Ryu screams, downing the two shots right after the other, barely bugging.
Meanwhile Jackson tries not to visibly give out a reaction, but Jeongguk can tell he’s struggling.
“So? What’d you think?” Ryu shouts over the music.
Jackson shakes his head. “This is fucking nasty.”
They laugh in unison, Ryu almost tripping in the process.
“I need a cigarette after the Rumpleshitz.”
Jeongguk almost loses his breath, the made up name knocking him completely over. Ryu’s no better, having to hold onto the bar top even though he’s occupying too much space.
“Let’s go.”
Jackson starts to move, Jeongguk trailing behind while holding onto Ryu’s wrist to assure he doesn’t fall as they squeeze themselves out of the dance floor, and up the steep stairs.
The fresh air hits Jeongguk's face instantly when they step out, along with the strong stench of cigarettes.
Jackson is quick to bring out the package from his pocket, already lining one up in his mouth, and going through half of his pockets to locate the lighter.
Ryu leans his head on Jeongguk's shoulder, the alcohol getting to him rather quickly. “So, hyung, what was that?”
Jackson hums in confusion. “Hm?”
“Hana.”
A smirk paints itself over Jackson’s lips while he lights up his cigarette, the end of the tobacco transforming into a light orange. “What about her?”
Ryu giggles. “Oh come on, don’t do this mystery act right now. We all saw that—right Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk nods shamelessly, and Jackson sighs loudly, the smoke erupting upwards from his mouth.
“We hooked up, if that’s what you wanna hear.”
“Just once?”
Jackson nods.
“Hm. She seems to want it again,” Ryu says, in which Jeongguk agrees. Hana was for sure giving Jackson bedroom eyes.
“Maybe.”
It grows quiet between them, the chatter from the line outside of the club becoming louder than before.
“Can I say something?” Ryu asks.
Jackson blows out some smoke as he answers. “Go ahead.”
“Taehyung’s new haircut is so hot.”
“Ryu what—”
His roommate keeps going. “It makes his arms look bigger! Sorry that I have eyes, Jeonggukie.”
“I didn’t even—”
Ryu stands on his own, remaining quiet for a solid second before he starts to smirk. “Maybe I should hook up with him.”
Jeongguk chokes on his spit. “W-What?”
Jackson stays quiet, watching everything go down while the tobacco slowly burns down in his left hand.
Ryu’s eyes widen, and then he’s grabbing Jeongguk by the arms, shaking him. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Jeongguk!” He stumbles upon his feet, but remains determined to say whatever he’s thought of. “I have an even better idea! You should hook up with Taehyung!”
Now, that makes Jackson laugh, meanwhile Jeongguk is glued to the ground, paralyzed in shock after hearing his roommate's drunken idea.
“The fu—”
“You should! Oh my God. This is the best idea ever. I bet he would too. He’d be so down, I mean you’d think he wants you after that—on the fie…And—and you guys would be the perfect enemies to lovers.” He pauses, and starts laughing. “It-It’s funny, I find it super unrealistic but I kinda see it now. You guys should ki—” Ryu trips, and Jeongguk catches him. Somehow, Ryu’s imbalance tells him that they should head home.
“We should go. Get you to bed.”
“I’m fine!” Ryu whines, dragging out the words but Jeongguk shakes his head.
“You’re ten seconds away from eating shit. We’re going home. Hyung, thank you so much for tonight, and for the invite,” Jeongguk says, grabbing Ryu’s wrist, and bringing his arm around his shoulder for better support.
“Oh, yeah, no worries. I’ll bring you your jacket, stay here.” He throws away the butt with a rough flick before disappearing into the darkened club.
“I should text Jiminie and tell him that you and Taehyung should fuck, and that it’s the best idea in the world!” Ryu slurs in his words, trying to grab his phone that’s in his front pocket, but Jeongguk stops him.
“Ryu—fucking hell. Stop.”
Ryu pouts, and then Jackson shows up again with the denim jacket. “Here. Text me when you’ve made it home, okay?”
“Sure thing. Thanks again, hyung.”
“No worries.”
The walk home is bearable, Ryu capable of walking without leaning too much on Jeongguk for support. Yet, what makes the trip painful are Ryu’s words haunting Jeongguk up until he goes to bed.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Forward! More forward!” Coach Lee shouts across the field, and as they run to the netted goal, he adjusts his baseball cap, sighing loudly which means he’s deeply disappointed.
Jeongguk can’t blame him.
It’s been over an hour of practice, and the substitute—Minjae, and Taehyung have yet to assist each other to a goal. Every single time, one of them misses—Minjae a bit more than Taehyung but missing nonetheless.
Jeongguk’s left leg starts to bounce uncontrollably, lip tugged by his teeth as he nibbles harshly, the practice match in front of him on the verge of giving him a headache.
It’s stress—and still some unresolved anger, but Jeongguk can’t really blame himself because they’re two weeks away from playing against the team in Gwangju. And of course they’re also great, hard to beat, and right now, with how things look, they’re bound to lose.
Jeongguk’s about to lose it.
Biting harder down his lip, Jeongguk tries his hardest to remain calm, not needing Coach Lee to worry about him when there are bigger problems at hand.
Minjae spits onto the grass, pulling at his jersey, and Jeongguk can see he’s not holding up. He already looks tired, and they’ve barely done anything.
Meanwhile, Taehyung seems to be okay, less sweaty, and more focused on the ball but whenever he reaches the netted goal, something blocks and he misses.
If only he didn’t.
If he didn’t they'd have a shot in winning…
Jeongguk adjusts himself on the bench, glancing sideways to watch Coach Lee for a second, and now he’s fanning with the baseball cap, almost looking pale .
They’re fucked.
This is so fucked.
Pulling the strands of his hair, Jeongguk clears his throat and continues watching the play between Minjae and Taehyung.
Somehow, there’s no direct communication, Minjae is rather shy in sending commands, and therefore runs on others' plans and requests which makes him—in Jeongguk’s book—a terrible striker.
Jeongguk can’t watch. Well, he has to, but it’s painful. It’s this constant, blaring reminder telling him they’ll lose, that they’ll join other teams in the bottom, which is one of Jeongguk’s worst nightmares.
He can’t fail now.
He won’t allow it.
Practice almost comes to an end, and by miracle, Minjae assists Taehyung good enough for him to run freely towards Namjoon but then he misses— again .
Jesus Christ. We’re so fucked.
Groaning into his hands, he wipes down his face, Coach Lee finally blowing the whistle to signal the end of practice.
He gets up, Hoseok running up to him with a tight smile.
“We’re doomed.” He mumbles under his breath, and Jeongguk nods in agreement.
Coach Lee clears his throat, the team waiting for him to say something but the tension is heavy, and it’s unbearable. “Well, we have two more practices before our match against Gwangju, and it’s not looking good, but I have faith in you all. Minjae, I need you to be more confident out there. We need you to send proper signals, and take charge. Taehyung can’t do this all on his own.”
“Got it, Coach.”
“And Taehyung, practice your shots.”
Taehyung nods while his eyes stare down onto his cleats. He’s too quiet—an unusual behavior which is why it catches Jeongguk’s attention.
What the fuck is up with him?!
“Other than that, I have zero notes. I’ll see you on Thursday.”
Everyone walks towards the locker rooms, including Jeongguk even though there’s not really any need, but after the news has broken out, Jeongguk wants to assure his team that he’s okay, and that what happened out there will never happen again.
Taehyung and Jimin walk in front of Jeongguk, unaware of his presence, and maybe that explains why he hears what he does.
“Minnie, you know I can’t shoot for shit. What am I gonna do?!” Taehyung complains, sounding frustrated. “Coach is depending on me—the whole fucking team is.”
“Just practice some more. You got this.”
Taehyung shakes his head. “No, I seriously can’t. My aim is nonexistent.”
Jeongguk winces. Taehyung turns, and gives him a dead glare when he realizes he’s heard half of the conversation.
“What.”
“Hm? Nothin’.” Jeongguk walks past them, not wanting to deal with this right now.
The locker rooms are a mess when Jeongguk steps in, half of his teammates already done showering, and digging through their duffel bags to grab their clean clothing, meanwhile others are undressing to get under the hot steaming water.
As the Red Devils occupy themselves in getting ready to leave properly, Jeongguk sits down on the wooden bench in the locker room, and stares onto the ground.
His mind runs wildly, but one thing seems to stick.
How Minjae and Taehyung had played out there.
While Minjae had lacked not only skill, but confidence, Taehyung—well he was… meh . At least he’d been able to get the ball forward, maybe even get a goal in but then he, of course, missed.
Somehow, it brings Jeongguk the memory of himself when he was nothing but a pimpled, pre-pubescent boy, and running around at school with the soccer ball, trying his best to get it inside the net.
It had taken days, hell, even weeks before Jeongguk had managed to get a good aim, but it wasn’t impossible.
Shit.
It’s not impossible.
Suddenly, something clicks.
It clicks in an instant, and Jeongguk gets up.
Holy shit.
Holy shit this might work.
Trying to spot Taehyung, Jeongguk sighs in annoyance when he catches his short hair spiking upwards in between the fog.
Fine. He’ll wait.
In the meantime, he can think of what exactly to say.
“Jeongguk? Wanna walk home together?”
It’s Namjoon with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, ready to leave.
“Uh—I have something important to do, but I’ll be home later, don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
Jeongguk waves, sitting back down onto the bench as he waits for what feels like forever—but in reality only is a solid ten minutes.
When Taehyung steps out of the shower, and puts on his clothes, Jeongguk loses his patience when he’s about to pull a hoodie over his head.
Instead of calling out his name like he usually would, Jeongguk pulls at Taehyung’s ear, ignoring the noises of discomfort all the way towards Coach Lee’s office.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Taehyung screams loudly while rubbing down his earlobe.
“Get in.”
“Huh?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, and pushes Taehyung forward inside Coach Lee’s office.
“Taehyung? Jeongguk? What can I do for you?”
Jeongguk clears his throat before Taehyung can throw any comment that’ll only cause confusion, and ruin everything .
“Well, Coach. I’ve been thinking about this season, and well…Minjae.”
Coach Lee sighs. “Jeongguk…”
“Just—please, hear me out.”
The man in front of him sighs, giving in by leaning into his chair and remaining quiet.
“I know you don’t want me out there—but Coach, I promise I’m okay. I can play—”
Coach Lee is just about to interrupt him when Jeongguk continues.
“I want to play, not in the way you think. If you put me out there on the field, I promise I won’t dominate the ball.”
Both Coach Lee and Taehyung frown in confusion.
“What?”
“I promise that if you put me back in, I’ll only assist Kim. I won’t do anything else.”
“Jeongguk…”
“Please, please Coach.”
There’s a moment of silence, one that’s heavy—so heavy Jeongguk feels his shoulders drop by the weight.
Maybe this was too impulsive.
“What do you say, Taehyung? Are you ready to keep up the score?”
He doesn’t answer, and for a second Jeongguk believes Taehyung will laugh at this ridiculousness, and leave him benched.
“I’ll try my best but Coach, it'll take months for me to reach this high of a level. I just don’t think there’s enough time before the match against Gwangju—”
Jeongguk doesn’t know if it’s the sudden adrenaline rush from the possibility of winning, or because he’s absolutely lost his mind, but he interrupts Taehyung with a terrible idea.
“I’ll teach you.”
“What?!”
Coach Lee raises an eyebrow in surprise.
“I’ll teach him, Coach. I’ll teach him how to kick the goal.”
Notes:
*hits drums* AND VOILÀ ITS OFFICIAL. THE SLOW BURN BETWEEN THESE TWO FUCKHEADS IS FINALLY (after what has felt like 78657 years) STARTING!
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Chapter 15
Summary:
the slow burn is off to a rocky start...ha
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Are you fucking insane?!”
Jeongguk ignores it, keeps walking towards the exit until he feels a pull on his sleeve which forces him to turn.
“Seriously, have you fucking lost it?!”
Jeongguk simply blinks at him instead of answering, and he can see Taehyung’s patience run thin.
“Are you—are you seriously going to be quiet after the shit you just pulled in there?!” He whispers with harsh anger, not wanting to catch attention from Coach Lee who’s still on the opposite side of the wall.
Gulping down a lump in his throat, Jeongguk thinks of every possible solution to… well, solve the situation he has now forced himself into—with none other than Taehyung of all people—due to nothing but impulsiveness running through his system.
Think…Think…Think.
Nothing comes to mind.
Shit.
He fucked up.
Jeongguk really fucked up.
“I didn’t mean it.”
A vein in Taehyung’s neck disappears as his expression falls into complete confusion. “The fuck?”
“I didn’t mean it,” Jeongguk repeats more firmly, wanting to make it clear towards Taehyung that it was rash words directed towards Coach Lee, and nothing else.
“The fuck do you mean, I didn’t mean it?” Taehyung can’t help but mock him, still very much angry despite the confusion rather prominent on his face.
Jeongguk tries not to fall into the pit of fueled anger himself, but Taehyung makes it hard.
Fuck.
“I wasn’t…thinking.”
Taehyung chuckles bitterly. “Nah, that’s not it, Jeon.”
That causes Jeongguk’s eyebrow to raise.
“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
Jeongguk’s mouth drops in shock. “Excuse me?”
Taehyung’s confusion washes away in an instant, instead he crosses his arms all confidently. His lips join along, curving into a smile. “You did all of that because you, Jeon Jeongguk, want me to fuck you again.”
Instantly, Jeongguk’s throat dries up. He doesn’t exactly know what causes it, if it’s hearing Taehyung call him by name or the fact he’s making this about sex.
The silence doesn’t exactly make it easier for Jeongguk because it allows Taehyung more freedom to speak.
“It is, isn't it? Wow. Wow,” Taehyung whistles. “That—”
Jeongguk drastically punches Taehyung in the shoulder.
“Ow!”
“Say that shit again, and see what happens, Kim.”
Taehyung rubs down onto his shoulder, wincing silently, and Jeongguk takes the opportunity to make things very clear.
“I want us to win this season, okay?! Right now, the team is fucked which caused what I said to Coach Lee to be completely impulsive. I don’t want to teach you shit but—” Jeongguk groans. “I think I’m gonna have to.”
Taehyung smacks his lips. “You think ?! Coach Lee wants to see progress by next week —”
“I know! I know.”
Silence falls between them once again, Jeongguk too busy with his accumulating thoughts, and Taehyung continuing to stare coldly.
“So…”
“No. I’m not learning shit from you, Jeon.”
Jeongguk wants to be smug about it, but it’s just as bad for him. “Then—”
“Go in there, and tell Coach Lee we’re not doing that,” Taehyung cuts him off with a stern voice, determination laced onto each syllable.
“Y’know he’s gonna hate us both for that, right?”
Taehyung presses his lips thin, and while he’s yet to say something, Jeongguk takes it as defeat.
“Fuck me,” Taehyung mutters under his breath before running a hand through his slightly damp hair. “If we do this…Don’t say a fucking word.”
“As if I—”
Taehyung shushes him, and shakes his head. “Not a word.”
Jeongguk glares coldly, tired of the childish act but remains quiet as requested. He really doesn’t want to deal with more of this right now.
“Good.”
About to take a step to leave, Taehyung stops him by grabbing onto his wrist. The touch feels warm in an instant, and Jeongguk hates it. Pulling himself free, he can’t help but bite back. “What?!”
“You sure this isn’t about you wanting to fuck me again?”
Groaning loudly, Jeongguk walks away, able to imagine the smug expression that rests on Taehyung’s face despite his back being turned to him.
The moment he’s stepped out of the building, he realizes that practicing with Kim Taehyung will be in close comparison to falling into the pits of hell.
First thing Jeongguk notices when he gets home is the awful shouting from his roommates in the living room.
“No! Hector—what the fuck? Go left! Go left!”
“Ryu! Shut the fuck up!”
Jeongguk walks further inside, home slippers now on both feet. “Uh—” He notices the consoles in his roommates hands, the game of Mario Kart displayed onto the screen. Jackson sits on the chair beside the couch with his laptop on his lap, eyes drifting once or twice onto the game.
“Hey, you’re back. How was practice?” It’s Jackson asking, Ryu and Hector still too invested in winning over the other which is why they only mumble a quick greeting before resuming their full attention onto the screen.
“It was…” Fucked. “Good. Yeah.”
Jackson removes the laptop from his lap, and stands up. “You hungry?”
“Hm…” With that, Jeongguk's stomach rumbles loudly. “Yeah, yeah I could eat.”
“Great.” Jackson walks towards his room, Jeongguk's eyes following him. “I’m kinda craving ramyeon. Do you mind going with me to the convenience store?”
“Not at all, hyung.”
“Nice, I’ll go grab a hoodie.”
Then, Jackson disappears into his room, leaving Jeongguk to stare at the intense game.
“Since when do you two play Mario Kart?”
Ryu keeps his eyes on the screen when he answers. “Hector’s cousin sent it to him yesterday ‘cause he doesn’t really play it anymore.”
“Ah. When do you guys have class again?”
Hector glances at his phone that rests on his lap. “In an hour—shit, shit shit!”
It’s then that Jeongguk catches Ryu’s vehicle surpass Hector’s in an instant.
“Gotta keep your eyes on the road, Hector.”
“Fuck! Jeongguk—stop distracting me!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Jeongguk says, trying to sound genuine even though he’s on the verge of laughing.
“Alright, I’m ready to leave.”
“Okay.”
The walk to the convenience store isn’t long, placed further down the street.
Their steps become funny when the hill begins to go down, and then Jackson urges a conversation between them. “How’d it go without playing? Did it go okay?”
Jeongguk shrugs, about to divert the conversation elsewhere when he realizes that it might be a good idea to talk about it with someone, especially someone like Jackson.
“Hated every second of it,” Jeongguk admits, and Jackson hums in acknowledgment.
“Yeah, I get that.”
“And Minjae…the substitute—it was bad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Coach so stressed before.”
Jackson widens his eyes. “That bad?”
“Yeah, he wasn’t confident on the field which caused him to clash with Kim,” Jeongguk explains. “For it to work, someone has to take the lead. So, when you reach the goal, one assists the other to take the shot.”
His roommate nods. “Right, that makes sense.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s why it works with you and Taehyung.”
“What?”
“I mean, isn’t that how you got a goal against Ilsan?”
Jeongguk bites down his tongue, willing himself to disagree but that would be going against the full truth, one Jackson has seen with his own two eyes.
“Y-yeah, I guess.”
“Hm.”
The convenience store comes into view, their conversation coming to a halt which Jeongguk is grateful for. The positive comment about his and Taehyung’s play out there on the field sits uncomfortably in his head, thumping loudly. It doesn’t help that he has to work alongside him for their team to at least reach the semi-finals of this year’s season.
God—so much is happening that Jeongguk can barely keep track of it all.
“Which one are you getting?”
Jeongguk scans over the shelf of options, and grabs the carbonara flavored one. “I think I’m gonna go with this one today, but I usually take that.”
He points at the black boxed ramyeon, and Jackson takes a hold of it, reading the label. “This doesn’t look too bad.”
“If you can handle spicy ramyeon, this one is the right choice.”
“Perfect. It’s on me by the way,” Jackson offers.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that—”
“You were nice enough to go with me. Seriously, let me pay.”
Jeongguk doesn’t want to be seen as ungrateful, so he accepts the kind offer. “Okay, thank you, hyung.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”
As they move towards the register, Jackson stops in his tracks and scans the different snack options. “Should we grab something for Ryu, and Hector?”
“Sure, the uh, turtle chips are Ryu’s favorites.”
Jackson grabs a bag, and then another kind for Hector. “Alright, this should do.”
After paying, Jackson and Jeongguk head towards home.
“So, what happens now?”
“Hm?”
“With the team. The Red Devils. What's gonna happen?”
Jeongguk doubts for a second to tell Jackson the whole story, and therefore sticks to the solution, without the helping-Taehyung-out part.
“I suggested Coach to put me back on the field.”
Jackson’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really? What did he say?”
“He didn’t say yes at first, but I promised him only to assist Kim and he agreed to it.”
“That’s great!”
It’s fucked. It’s far from great.
“So, that means Taehyung will be the one to take the lead?”
“Yep,” Jeongguk says with tightened lips.
“Okay, well then everything worked out just fine.”
Eh…
“Oh, hey, did you have some time to think about therapy?” Jackson asks, diverting the conversation elsewhere.
“Not really,” Jeongguk admits, because no, he hasn’t sat down with it, too busy trying to make things right for the team.
“That’s okay, just think about it, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I will, hyung. Thanks.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s only been less than two days since Jeongguk had proposed a plan he’s had a hard time standing by.
Less than two days since he’s last seen Taehyung.
Less than two days since he’s set his rightfully earned position aside to assure the Red Devils have a shot of winning—
“Jeongguk!”
He turns, and spots Soohyun running up to him, smiling widely. “Cap?”
“I heard from Coach Lee what you and Taehyung are doing.” Soohyun’s hand moves up towards Jeongguk’s shoulder, and he squeezes proudly. “It’s great, brilliant even. So, yeah, just wanted to say thank you, and that I’m excited for our match now against Gwangju rather than nervous to the point I believe I could’ve shit myself.” He pauses to chuckle. “That’s all, really. Don’t wanna take more of your afternoon. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Jeongguk frowns in confusion. “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah, Coach moved practice to tomorrow instead. Didn’t you receive the email?”
Jeongguk probably did but he’s been too caught up in other things to maintain his attention where it matters. The team, the season, winning —
“Uh, yeah no sorry. My brain’s kinda fried after Psych,” Jeongguk excuses, not wanting Soohyun to think of him as a bad teammate who can’t even catch up with simple dates.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you, Jeongguk.”
“Alright, see you.”
Still quite blank in his head, Jeongguk continues to head home, classes draining him out of energy.
It isn’t until he’s back home, and dropped dead onto his bed that Soohyun’s earlier words echo.
Coach moved practice to tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Tomor—
“Shit!” Jeongguk rises from his bed in an instant, mumbling curse words as he looks around himself, trying to grab the nearest athletic wear he can find. “Fuck—fuck, fuck.”
After rushing to put on another hoodie, and some shorts, Jeongguk grabs his cleats, and runs out of his bedroom, ignoring the worried glances from Ryu and Hector when he rushes towards the front door.
“Jeonggukie? What are you—”
“I’m so fucked!” Jeongguk expresses through gritted teeth while putting on his shoes, almost falling in the process.
“J—”
“I gotta go! I’ll be back later.”
“J-Jeongguk?!”
And then, he’s out of the door, cleats in one hand paired with two fast paced feet.
He doesn’t even get to blink until he’s standing in front of the door, realization hitting him instantly.
This is it.
A fist now raised in the air, Jeongguk knocks twice. He waits, and waits until patience runs thin.
He bangs against the door this time, sounds coming from behind the door, but Jeongguk can’t make out any of it. He’s just about to do it again when the door opens, Taehyung now standing in front of him with disheveled hair, a t-shirt hanging off his torso, the sleeve only through one arm, and a pair of underwear on.
“Jeon? What the f—”
“Get dressed, we need to practice.”
Taehyung frowns. “I’m busy.”
It’s then Jeongguk notices how Taehyung’s fully hard in his boxers, and his lips are swollen and more pink than usual.
Ah.
“You disgust me,” Jeongguk comments with a grimace.
Taehyung sighs with a hint of annoyance. “Go home, Jeon.”
He’s just about to shut the door on him when Jeongguk puts his leg forward, and prevents it from closing with his foot. “Kim. We have practice tomorrow.”
With that, Taehyung blinks. “And?”
Jeongguk scoffs. “Do I seriously have to spell it out for you?”
Taehyung’s just about to answer when a voice from inside calls out his name. “Just a second, babe!”
Jeongguk cringes at the pet name.
“If you don’t show up at the field in ten minutes, I’ll drag you by the ear again.”
And with that, Jeongguk leaves, not wanting to hear whatever Taehyung has to say.
Walking towards the field by himself brings an unsettling feeling in Jeongguk’s gut. He’s reminded of what he’s done to his past self, how many hours he’s spent here after practice…
The field reminds Jeongguk of his goals—goals that almost killed him.
He doesn’t get to stand there for long, instead, he uses his time efficiently by sitting down onto the cold grass, uncaring if some sticks to the fabric of his shorts, and puts on his cleats.
The minute he’s up and brushing off his ass, he feels something solid hitting his back.
“What the f—”
Taehyung’s arms are crossed, eyes not meeting Jeongguk directly which is… new .
Jeongguk doesn’t know if he prefers it.
“That’s for not only cockblocking me but blue balling me as well.”
Eyes drift downwards, and Jeongguk spots the soccer ball by his feet. “Not my fault you can’t check your email.”
Taehyung squints his eyes. “Oh, and you did? Is that why we’re doing this at almost six in the evening?!”
Jeongguk tongues his cheek, knowing Taehyung’s gotten him with that but he won’t accept it. “At least I found out before you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You can’t actually be mad over this.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow, gaze burning into Jeongguk. “You started this.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know why but his tongue begins to prickle, anger now bubbling at the pit of his stomach because yes he did start this. But fuck, he wishes he could take it back.
And maybe, maybe that’s why he decides to take it up a notch.
“As if you didn’t start—”
Mouth turns hot suddenly, stopping Jeongguk from saying everything, and in all honesty that might be a good idea. They really shouldn’t go there right now. There’s no time for it.
“What? Start what?” Taehyung is testing him, almost as if he wants to see if Jeongguk can say it, to bring up the reason why there is a thick thread tied around their throats with burning anger.
“Forget it,” Jeongguk says before he picks up the soccer ball by his feet and throws it at Taehyung.
By luck, it’s caught, but not without a small wince of pain escaping from the edges of Taehyung’s lips.
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath, eyes no longer onto Jeongguk but rather where it really matters.
Without any communication, Taehyung warms up, playing around with it, twisting the ball in between his legs, and holding it by the tip of his cleats. Jeongguk isn’t impressed—in fact he can’t help but rub his temples down, the anger turning into an irritating headache.
“What are you waiting for? The sun to go down? Kick it, Kim.”
Taehyung turns his head but his feet still move, the ball juggling between both legs. “Oh, you want me to kick it?”
Jeongguk groans. “That’s just what I said, fuckhead.”
A smile appears onto Taehyung’s face, the soccer player flashing a full set of white teeth. “Not until you apologize, fuckhead.”
“What? Apologize?”
“For cockblocking, and blue balling me. Don’t tell me you already forgot. Jesus, no wonder that email went by you—”
“Okay, y’know what? Fuck this. I’m out.”
And he stands by it. In a split second, his cleats are off his feet, and now replaced by his beaten up sneakers instead. Taehyung doesn’t even stop him, no. He just shrugs, and continues to play around with the soccer ball rather than making it useful in turning himself into a better player.
Fuck this, and fuck him.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jeongguk can’t describe what it feels like to be back out there—on the field with his teammates, and a soccer ball under his arm.
Everyone seems to be thrilled. Their expressions are less tight today, and more relieved, except for Taehyung who hasn’t dared glancing sideways towards Jeongguk.
Fucking dick.
He’s probably still pressed over his balls hurting yesterday which is childish. Jeongguk tries not to let the annoyance grow again, so instead he basks in the joy that all his teammates, and Coach carry and starts moving around.
Warming up goes well, Coach Lee and Jihoon taking the time to note down important factors for today’s training seeing their match against Gwangju is already next week.
Being nervous isn’t really something Jeongguk tends to feel, but right now? He’s inhaling it.
Every kick, and every move on the field where Jeongguk doesn’t do what he usually does sends him into a nervous state, one that attacks his nape and armpits, coating it with a large amount of sweat despite them working out for barely an hour.
Jesus Christ. Jeongguk’s losing it.
It isn’t until Coach Lee, and Jihoon ask Taehyung and Jeongguk to show what they’ve worked that his nerves skyrocket ten fold.
“Yeah, of course,” Taehyung says confidently, already grabbing a ball with one foot, and kicking it forward towards the goal. Jeongguk jogs near the net to join him, Coach Lee and Jihoon standing on the sideline, analyzing every move.
Warmth builds beneath Jeongguk’s shirt the longer Taehyung stands in front of the ball without moving.
But it isn’t until Taehyung takes the first stride that the warmth transforms into sweat, and it drips down Jeongguk’s stomach, distracting him a bit from what’s important.
Proving something that isn’t real.
There’s no real progress, yet Taehyung plays it off, sends the ball flying to Jeongguk as they move further to the net, and it isn’t until they’ve reached a good distance from the net that Jeongguk passes it back, praying to whatever’s up there that his teammate won’t miss the fucking shot—
The ball flies sideways, not even an inch close to the goal.
Jeongguk wants to scream, shout at Taehyung that they’re all going to lose because of him but he can’t. Not when Coach Lee is watching them like a hawk, and Jihoon is scribbling down notes.
To help them out a bit, Jeongguk exaggerates a wide smile, one only Taehyung catches before Jeongguk walks towards him, clapping him on the back maybe a tad bit too hard. “Next time, buddy.”
“Buddy? Jeon what the f—”
Another hard slap to the back, and Taehyung shuts up, noticing where Jeongguk’s eyes drift which explains his sudden change of character.
“Ah, yeah thanks Jeongguk,” Taehyung plays on, and Jeongguk’s nape turns hot at the mention of his name once again.
He really doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.
Truthfully, he’d rather not.
“Alright, boys. Let’s try one more.”
Placed right on the field again, Taehyung and Jeongguk try again, the ball still not landing into the net.
The urge to rip his hair out grows intensely when Coach Lee remains quiet, and Jihoon smiles tightly.
Shit.
This is not a good sign.
“Taehyung, a word, please.”
“Jeongguk, you’re free to go,” Jihoon says, wanting privacy between the three of them.
“Okay.”
Fuck.
They’re so fucked.
All because Kim Taehyung decided to be such a childish bitch about this whole thing.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes the moment he turns his back to them, his knuckles turning white with how much he’s straining them, trying to contain all the anger accumulating within him.
Breathe.
1…2…
“Fuck him. Fuck him,” Jeongguk mumbles to himself all the way towards the locker rooms that are already emptied out.
Jeongguk rushes to get out before Taehyung arrives, anything to get away from seeing a look on his face that screams nothing but blank and empty. Anything to get away from something that reminds Jeongguk why this season won’t be theirs.
“Thanks for dinner, Jeonggukie,” Hector says before getting up, and taking care of the dishes.
“Yeah, no worries. Glad you liked it.” He takes another bite, swinging his legs beneath the kitchen island, while Jackson and Ryu discuss what makes a good professor.
Jeongguk has tuned himself out of the conversation, instead focusing on the spoon in his bowl, and the contents of it.
In the middle of taking a bite, the doorbell rings.
“I got it,” Ryu says as he gets up from the couch before disappearing in the hallway.
Voices are a bit muffled, Jeongguk unable to catch any of it until Ryu steps back inside, staring at him with widened eyes.
“What?” Jeongguk asks with a half filled mouth.
“Why the fuck is Taehyung asking for you?”
Instantly, Jeongguk chokes, coughing uncontrollably while holding a hand over his mouth to prevent things from spilling everywhere. “Excuse me?”
“Taehyung…He—he uh, he wants to talk to you,” Ryu explains with confusion and shock written all over his face.
Jeongguk clears his throat. “Got it.”
He ignores his roommates' gaze following him when he steps into the hallway, and opens the door to find Taehyung standing there with both hands inside the pockets of his shorts.
He’s just about to open his mouth when Jeongguk shoves him, and closes the door behind him, knowing Ryu is one to eavesdrop.
“What the fuck are you doing here?! Are you crazy?” Jeongguk whisper-yells, afraid his roommate's ears are pressed to the door.
Taehyung frowns. “Why are you so pressed?”
Jeongguk sighs. “Just—get to the point. What is it? What do you want?”
“Okay. Okay fine. Teach me.”
“Wait what,” Jeongguk deadpans.
“Teach me,” Taehyung repeats more sternly. “Teach me how to kick the goal.”
“Where is this coming from—”
“Just—Let’s do this, okay? No bullshit.”
A part of Jeongguk wants to throw a jab, maybe add a little harsh or ironic comment but he doesn’t. He knows it won’t get them anywhere, and frankly, there’s no time for it.
For them to be able to win against Gwangju, they need to do this properly—no bullshit.
“Okay. No bullshit.”
Taehyung nods. “Good. I’ll text you.”
And then he walks away, leaving Jeongguk to stare at the ground for a few minutes, head still having a hard time wrapping around the fact Taehyung not only came to him , but asked for help—
What the fuck did Coach Lee and Jihoon tell him?!
The door opens, Ryu holding onto a trash bag. “Oh—sorry. Had to take the trash out.”
“Mhm…”
“What?! It’s true! It’s my chore this month.”
Jeongguk scoffs. “He already left, dude.”
“Oh for fucks sa—” Ryu pauses, eyes widening knowing he’s been caught. “I mean—” He clears his throat. “Whatever, I don’t care. I just had to take the trash out.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m serious!”
“Goodnight, Ryu.”
“Wait—wait dude come back!”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It isn’t until class is dismissed that Mina finds her way towards Jeongguk who decided to take a seat further in the back before Mr. Kim entered the auditorium.
“Hey! Jeongguk!”
He doesn’t see or hear her coming, mind still all over the place, filled with today’s long lesson but also still processing the fact that Taehyung h—
A grip to his arm interrupts his ongoing thoughts.
Jeongguk looks behind him, met with an immediate smile from Mina. It takes him a second to realize she has heavy eye bags, and reddened eyes.
“Hey…You okay?”
Mina nods. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”
Somehow her words don’t seem truthful. Maybe it’s the tone that feels off, or maybe the fact that she can’t keep direct eye contact with Jeongguk when she says it.
“Uh, no reason.”
She’s just about to say something else when his phone pings loudly.
“Sorry—”
“You’re good.”
Jeongguk grabs it, and squints his eyes when he reads over the text message.
from: unknown number
5:30 pm
to: unknown number
????
who’s this
from: unknown number
you’re fucking stupid
Of fucking course. Jeongguk doesn’t even bother responding, shoving his phone back down in his pocket, and guides his attention back onto his friend.
“Sorry. Were you about to say something?”
“Yeah, yeah uh, so Jonghie’s birthday is coming up soon, and I just wanted to hear if you, Ryu, Hector and Jori were down to come? We’re pregaming at his place, and then most likely going out after, somewhere in Hongdae. I honestly don’t know yet. It’s still a plan in the works.”
Hearing Jori’s name so casually, and especially unexpectedly, feels like a slap to his face. Jeongguk tries to maintain a smile, not wanting Mina to see he’s still affected by his best friend moving across the globe.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hm? Sorry. I’ll have to think about it. The soccer season has already started so I’m really busy with that, but maybe? I’m sure Ryu, and Hector are down though.”
Mina frowns. “And Jori? What about him?”
Jeongguk bites down his tongue for a split second before answering. “He moved to Florida almost a month ago.”
“Really? I didn’t know that. So, what now? Do you have a new roommate?”
“Yeah, do you remember Jackson?”
Mina ponders. “Hm…Doesn’t really ring a bell.”
“Jackson Wang, he hosted the New Year’s party.”
Mina’s eyes widen. “Holy shit? Him? That’s so cool!”
Jeongguk chuckles. “I guess?”
“What are you doing now? Do you have some time to hangout?”
“Uh…” Jeongguk drags as he steals a glance at the big clock hanging above the entrance. “Can’t. I have to meet K—I have to do some stuff later.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you around then?”
“Yeah, yeah of course.”
It’s all that’s left before Jeongguk rushes out of the classroom, and further out of the building heading towards home.
“You’re late.”
Jeongguk stares down at his phone, refusing to believe such bullshit— oh.
5:37
He is late.
Well, it’s not his fault that Ryu did a full on questioning about where he was going before Jeongguk was allowed access to the hallway.
“I’m here now.”
Taehyung kicks the ball aggressively towards Jeongguk. “Just get to it.”
“Give me a second. I need to put on my cleats.”
As he drops down to change, he hears Taehyung groan in complaint.
Jeongguk grins. “No bullshit, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Taehyung brushes off with an annoyed tone but regardless doesn’t comment on Jeongguk tying his shoelaces thrice instead of twice like a normal person.
Huh.
Progress…?
“Alright,” Jeongguk says while trying to remove the grass stuck to his butt. “Show me how you kick.”
Taehyung’s jaw clenches as he receives the soccer ball, and starts walking towards the net. Jeongguk follows close behind, remaining quiet, and instead focuses on how Taehyung moves.
He takes a deep breath, and then he runs and kicks. It flies across the net which is a sign of too much power.
“Hm, okay. We can work with this,” Jeongguk notes as he runs towards the ball that’s hiding behind the goal. He retrieves it, allows it to float between both feet before placing it in front of Taehyung. “Use the front of your foot. Bend your knees a little before shooting—if you’re too stiff you can’t help but miss. Also, lock your ankle to create more power through the foot you kick with rather than your leg.”
Taehyung nods.
He tries again, following Jeongguk’s instructions and then the ball lands inches away from the net.
“Not bad. Try again.”
Taehyung does as told, still not speaking which makes this a whole lot easier and more bearable for both.
It still doesn’t land but Jeongguk doesn’t lose hope.
If he could kick it into the net as a ten year old, so can Taehyung.
Taehyung pulls at his t-shirt, the chest area already a bit soaked by all the running back and forth to grab the ball while Jeongguk is feeling fine, standing perfectly still and watching Taehyung try again, and again, and—
“What made you change your mind?”
Jeongguk widens his eyes alongside Taehyung’s, not expecting himself to ask this of all things now.
“What?”
Jeongguk clears his throat. “Nothing.”
Taehyung continues to shoot, the ball still not landing in the net which at this point feels like a curse.
“Fuck, this seems pointless.” He’s discouraged, and really now’s the time for Jeongguk to be a proper teammate and cheer him up, but that’s not exactly how they are with each other.
“Kinda seems like you’re allergic to it.”
Taehyung doesn’t laugh, not even a slight chuckle but Jeongguk? Jeongguk’s all over the place. His laugh is so loud he wouldn’t even be surprised if the residents in the apartment building closest to the university could hear him.
“What? It’s funny!”
“It’s called not being a try-hard.” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Something you clearly don’t understand.”
“At least I can kick the go—”
“I’m done for the day.”
He doesn’t even wait for a response, already opening his duffel bag, and shoving down his cleats while Jeongguk stares at him dumbfounded.
“You’re seriously pissed off over a fucking joke?”
Taehyung halts, and turns his head to face Jeongguk properly. “Stupid. A stupid joke, Jeon. And no, I’m not fucking pissed over that. I’m tired of you .”
“I’m helping you out!”
“We said no bullshit!”
Jeongguk blinks. “Okay. Okay, cut the shit. Seriously, what's up with you?!”
Taehyung doesn’t respond, instead he lifts the strap of the duffel bag over his shoulder. He’s just about to walk past when Jeongguk grabs him by the elbow.
“Kim.”
“Doesn’t fucking matter. Just, get your shit together.” He breaks free, not looking back once while he disappears from Jeongguk’s view.
It takes Jeongguk a good minute before he himself starts to rummage through his duffel bag to go home. Truthfully, Taehyung's behavior has gotten to his head, but mostly how whenever he angles his body perfectly to shoot, something forces him to fail. Curiosity grows within Jeongguk, because really what can cause him to block this much?
Maybe Taehyung’s right…Jeongguk doesn’t know shit about him.
After zipping up his windbreaker, Jeongguk digs into the side pocket for his earphones. They’re a bit tangled but he makes it work, the music now playing, and drowning all the outside noise.
It’s a bit chillier than earlier, Jeongguk’s shoulders pulled upwards to cover up his neck with the small turtleneck design of his jacket.
Despite the weather, Jeongguk still pulls out his phone to shoot Ryu a text message, and mostly to save himself from pestering.
to: ryuuuuu
almost home
A ping erupts behind him, Jeongguk frowning as he removes one earbud, and turns to find—
“Ryu?! What the fuck?!”
His roommate curses, almost eating shit in the process of trying to hide from Jeongguk but it’s too late, and he’s been caught.
“I don’t know who Ryu is. Excuse me, sir.” His voice has dropped three octaves, face completely gone now as he lowers his head, the basketball cap shadowing him completely from the front.
“Were you fucking spying on me?!” Jeongguk’s pissed, rightfully so, because it’s one thing for Ryu to be nosy as usual—but spying?!
“Shit,” Ryu curses, finally giving in to being caught by removing the grandma-like sunglasses that cover half of his face.
“What the fuck.”
“Yeah, exactly what I’m thinking,” Ryu says, confusion laced in his tone, and it’s then Jeongguk realizes he’s seen it all, him and Taehyung out on the field, and—
He’s fucked.
“Uh…”
“Since when are you hanging out with Taehyung? I thought you hated his guts.”
Jeongguk groans. “I do!”
Ryu raises an eyebrow. “You hate him yet you’re…”
“If I explain do you promise to shut your fucking mouth about this, and never spy on me again?”
For a second, Ryu doesn’t say anything but then he loosens in his posture, and nods. “Fine. I promise.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, yeah. Get on with it.”
“After my accident, well I wasn’t allowed to play, and the substitute Minjae had a hard time leading Kim on the field so I-I don’t know, I just…” Jeongguk pauses to run a hand through his hair. “I impulsively suggested that I help Kim become a better striker to Coach if he allows me to play again.”
Ryu’s eyes widen. “You did what?!”
“And I regret it! But—it’s our only shot at winning.”
A small grin makes its way to Ryu's face, one Jeongguk wants to rub off desperately because it reminds him of the look his roommate gave him at NB2 when he had suggested for him to hookup with Taehyung.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“What? I didn’t even say anything.”
“You’re thinking about it. Cut the crap, Ryu. This isn’t one of Hector’s cheesy rom-com movies, okay? There isn’t any enemies to lovers bullshit, or whatever the fuck you called it.”
Ryu frowns. “Wait. What are you talking about?”
Jesus, was Ryu really that drunk?
“At NB2, you said—or well you suggested that…y’know…” Jeongguk looks away, embarrassment reaching him again.
“Ah—Oh.” Ryu begins to laugh. “Right. Right, I did.”
Just before Jeongguk can say more to make them stop talking about this immediately, his roommate claps his hands.
“Well! Seems like my drunk self wasn’t too off about—”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” Jeongguk starts walking, not bothering to entertain this any further.
Ryu catches up next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. “But at least you guys can become friends right?”
“Absolutely fucking not.”
“Baby steps, Jeonggukie. Baby steps. Do it for the team!” He encourages, but it doesn’t convince Jeongguk in the slightest.
“I will forgive you for spying on me if you don’t ever talk about this ever again.”
Ryu pouts. “Ugh. Fine.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Sweat drips down Jeongguk’s face as he watches the ball fly over his head, and land by the feet of his opponents.
Gwangju are good— he’ll give them that, but they’re not better than the Red Devils. They lack teamwork, half of the players trying to outplay the others by doing solo play, which only results in failing not only their team but the score as well.
Jimin and Mingyu make a run for it, preventing the player from moving further down towards Hoseok, and Seokjin who are guarding the net like their lives depend on it.
For a second, Jeongguk slows his movements to catch his breath, sliding a hand down to the hem of his jersey to wipe off the accumulated sweat.
Soohyun throws a finger in the air when Mingyu maintains the ball. He doesn’t hesitate to kick it sideways, it lands by Soohyun’s feet who doesn’t waste any time in moving forward, dodging the opponents as he does.
Taehyung moves around to remain open, Jeongguk not as lucky with the way a player almost breathes down his neck. He’s not surprised, after all he does have quite the reputation and is seen as a threat to multiple teams—including Gwangju.
Jeongguk studies Taehyung's every move when he closes down towards the net, throwing his leg backwards to kick when an opponent runs with full speed, sending the ball in a corner of the field.
Fuck.
As Hoseok picks up the ball to throw it in, Jeongguk looks at the clock that’s held high by a referee.
Two minutes.
They have two minutes left.
Shit.
Anxiety swims in the pit of Jeongguk’s stomach, bubbling wildly when he moves towards the goal, standing alongside his teammates, all of them in position to hopefully get a goal in.
This might be their only shot.
Hoseok takes a deep breath, and then he swings both arms, the ball flying with full speed towards them. Jeongguk barely catches what happens, until the crowd cheers loudly and he notices the ball resting inside the net.
Soohyun runs towards the bleachers, the others following behind him with harsh grips, and attacking him with kisses to his head.
Holy shit. They did it.
Jeongguk doesn’t think when he runs towards Soohyun, jumping alongside him when everyone shouts excitedly for their team, and a win that has never looked brighter.
“Cap! Cap! Cap!”
Soohyun is thrown in the air, laughing loudly when Taehyung tightens his hold beneath his armpits. Jeongguk holds him by the feet, the stench of grass, and mud suddenly more prominent than earlier but he could care less because they won.
They fucking won!
It’s Soohyun’s idea to go out—Team Captain’s orders as he had shouted in the locker rooms while slamming both hands onto the metal along with everyone else.
So, now, they’re here. At some bar in Itaewon.
Soohyun’s arm is slung around Jeongguk’s shoulders, accompanied by Mingyu on his other side, both of them in deep conversation about Gwangju and how they were playing today. Jeongguk can tell his body is still a bit drained from earlier, exhaustion causing him to lack focus.
“Shots on me!” Soohyun shouts which brings Jeongguk out of his daze, eyes now widened and fixated onto his teammate who’s getting cheered on by the rest behind them, even met with some rough claps to the back, the touch grazing against Jeongguk.
The bar is packed inside, decorated with stickers, graffiti and neon signs with cringe slogans on the walls. There’s three bartenders, all of them occupied, either by using the mixer or taking orders while leaning over the bar top, their uniform probably sticky by now with all the spilled liquor collecting on the counter.
Soohyun doesn’t seem to care about how packed it is, instead he’s thrumming with energy, jumping while still fully leaning onto Jeongguk. You'd think he’s drunk .
He’s just about to speak when the front of his pocket buzzes. “Shit—hold on,” Soohyun checks the contact, and naturally smiles. “It’s my girlfriend. I’ll be back.” He walks away, disappearing further inside the bar—probably aiming for the bathrooms where it’s less loud.
It’s not even the music that causes it to be loud, it’s the guests that are here. They’re talking over each other, some even feeling the need to shout you’d think this was a club.
“Wanna go stand in line?” Mingyu asks.
Jeongguk nods. “Sure thing.”
Mingyu trails behind him as they move, the rest of the team already finding their way through the bar, some directly going to the pool tables in the corner, and others to find a table big enough for over ten people.
It’s three guys in front of them, all swimming in a thick layer of perfume, Jeongguk feels lightheaded by the intensity. Mingyu seems to notice as well, nose scrunching in disgust.
They’re loud too, laughing loudly and playing cool. Jeongguk can’t help but roll his eyes. To distract himself, and the—clearly long—waiting time to get a drink, he turns to Mingyu, and starts a conversation.
“How’ve you been?”
Mingyu chuckles. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
Jeongguk is confused. “What?”
“Since you…that day.” He’s cautious, something Jeongguk hates because he’s fine now, really, he’s never been better—or well at least he’s on his way there but really, he’s fine .
“Oh that? Yeah, of course. I’m okay. I’m back in the game, everything’s cool.”
“Really? It looked…brutal.”
Jeongguk can’t even begin to imagine what it must’ve been like to see him fall flat like that, especially out of nowhere, and maybe it’s his sympathy towards his teammates that makes him open up a little more.
“It was…rough for a good minute. But, really, I’m good.” He bumps Mingyu’s side to lighten him up, the reminder of what happened bringing a…weird ambiance.
“Okay. That’s good. I’m really grateful Coach let you back in, and that you and Taehyung are finally getting along.”
Jeongguk tightens his lips. “Mhm.”
Jesus.
“Getting along.” What does that even mean?!
If only Mingyu knew the amount of times they’ve failed to make this work, and that’s one of the reasons the Red Devils couldn’t get a higher score than one today because of fucking—
No.
He’s not about to get caught up in this right now.
“Where are the others?”
It’s Soohyun returning, phone now back in his pocket again.
“Uh—” Mingyu scans the bar. “Hoseok hyung, and some of the others are by the round table in the corner. And—” He stops to laugh. Jeongguk glances in curiosity in the direction of where Mingyu is already looking. “And, Taehyung’s clearly busy.”
Or well, the bartender is definitely occupied by him, fingers tracing his jawline as she bats her eyelashes. Jeongguk immediately loses interest in staring at them, resuming the conversation between him and his teammates instead.
“Cap, which shots are you buying?”
“Hm…” He ponders as he stares at the stacked bottles of liquor. “How’s Tequila? I feel like everyone fucks with it.”
Mingyu shrugs. “It’s your choice, you’re buying.”
“Alright, tequila it is.”
Jeongguk nods. “Good choice.”
The men in front of them finally move further towards the bar top, giving Jeongguk hope that it won’t be much longer until he rids himself from the cramped space, and moves elsewhere, preferably where both of his arms don’t need to stick to the front of his body.
“Jesus—already? Phew,” Soohyun claps on Mingyu’s chest, Jeongguk falling into the trap of looking because of his godforsaken curiosity, and—he wished he hadn’t.
Taehyung now has his tongue down that bartender's throat while a hand is holding her face in place, more specifically her jaw. It’s all Jeongguk catches before the three men in front of them move aside with their drinks in hand.
“What can I get you?”
“Hey, twenty tequila shots, and some lime too, thanks,” Soohyun says.
“Alright.”
The bartender is quick with it, bringing out two plastic trays, and stacking it full with some shot glasses. For a second he’s gone but then he returns with a pour spout on the end of the Tequila bottle.
Jeongguk watches the shots get filled in an instant.
“I’m impressed by Taehyung. Seriously, how does he do it?”
Soohyun shrugs. “No clue. Oh! Thanks man.” He pulls out his credit card from his wallet while Jeongguk and Mingyu split, taking a tray each to help out, an act of gratitude to their team captain who’s been kind enough to offer.
It’s tight, and Jeongguk is deeply impressed by himself over the fact that none of the shots have spilled when he places it down onto the dark, rounded table that already looks sticky, and pretty used with the way it’s already occupied by used shot glasses, and bigger glasses with straws and lime in them.
“Tequila shots! Hell yeah!” Hoseok shouts in excitement, already grabbing one and holding it up high as he waits for the rest to catch up.
It takes a minute before everyone has a shot glass, some paired with salt on their hand, and others without it. Jeongguk can’t take a shot without it, so he licks the skin near his thumb, and coats it with way too much salt—anything to rid himself of the hard liquor he’s about to throw down his throat. His other hand is already holding a sliced piece of lime, ready to suck on it after taking the shot.
“To our Team Captain!” Jimin cheers as a signal, Jeongguk licking the salt to join the rest of his teammates. Their heads are thrown back, taking it quick. Jeongguk groans in distaste when he’s done, rushing to suck on the lime to get rid of the agave-forward flavor.
“Thanks again for the shots, Cap.”
Soohyun squeezes Hoseok’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Also, great throw out there, wouldn’t have won without you either.”
Hoseok is quick to brush him off.
“He’s right, hyung. It wouldn’t have been possible without you,” Jeongguk butts in, surprising Hoseok with his encouraging, and truthful statement.
“Thanks, Jeongguk.”
The bar seems less crowded than before, some probably leaving to enjoy an actual club rather than taking too much space where it’s rather limited.
Soohyun’s just about to say something when Namjoon passes by them.
“Hey, I’m gonna grab a few drinks. You guys want anything?”
“Uh—anything with Vodka and I’m on board.”
Hoseok nods alongside Soohyun. “Yeah, same for me. Thanks, Joonie.”
“No worries. Jeongguk?”
“I have no clue,” Jeongguk admits, face still a bit hot from the Tequila shot.
“Alright, you’re welcome to join if you just need to look over the options by the bar.”
Jeongguk nods. “Okay, sure.”
There’s more space now, Jeongguk feeling less tight than earlier when he follows Namjoon to the bar. It’s the same bartender that served them the Tequila shots that takes their orders, Jeongguk ordering a Passionista, the drink reminding him of Jackson.
While the bartender is occupied with pouring ice into the glasses, and mixing the different flavors in a cocktail shaker, Namjoon makes a comment.
“Well, that explains why Taehyung wasn’t there for shots.”
Jeongguk doesn’t even look, barely hears Namjoon’s comment. He’s too busy admiring the impressive skills from the bartender.
All drinks are soon laid out, Jeongguk not hesitating once when he pulls out his card, and pays for it, surprising Namjoon.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. I wanted to.”
They carry the drinks back easily, no spillage in sight when they’re handed over to Hoseok, and Soohyun who have been waiting patiently.
“Thanks, Joon.”
“Actually, Jeongguk paid.”
Soohyun, and Hoseok’s eyes widen in unison. “What?!”
“To congratulate you properly on making us win!” Jeongguk reasons, their eyes softening.
“Jeongguk…That’s really nice of you. Thank you.”
“Yeah, thanks man.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Jeongguk can’t help but turn a little shy, the attention all on him which isn’t something he’s used to.
Thankfully, it didn't last long due to Jimin joining their table after winning against Mingyu in a game of pool.
Jeongguk takes a sip of the Passionista while Mingyu complains about Jimin cheating—the whole table laughing knowing Mingyu is really just a sore loser at the end of the day.
The drink is good, the sweetness remaining even in the aftertaste. Jeongguk doesn’t think twice when he pulls out his phone, and takes a picture of the Passionista in his right hand.
to: jackson hyung
[image.png]
hyung
the drink is really good!
from: jackson hyung
that’s good to hear
ryu’s about to take rumplemintz again
save meeeeeee
[image.png]
The picture is a bit blurry, maybe taken in a rush but Jeongguk can still clearly see Ryu holding onto two shot glasses while smiling with a set of teeth.
to: jackson hyung
if he takes more than 5 you’re fucked
from: jackson hyung
lmfao hector said the same thing
are u having fun?
you’re in itaewon too right?
to: jackson hyung
yeah
we’re at a bar
it’s pretty nice
from: jackson hyung
come join us later if youre not too tired
think hectors been texting namjoon as well
to: jackson hyung
alright
i’ll talk to him
As if the timing couldn’t get any better, Namjoon is laughing before grabbing his full attention with a hand on his shoulder. “Jeongguk, you have to see this.”
Instantly the phone is shoved into his face, Jeongguk having to squint both eyes a bit to read the messages that Namjoon eagerly wants him to read.
from: baby
this club smells like piss
i miss uuuuuuuuuuuu
i love youuuuuuuuuu
why aren’t you here 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠
fuck you
i didn’t meant that
i jusmissyiu
whereare u again
i think lost the address ysentme
jackson wants u to comenowwith jeeeongguuuk
oh
later
iloveyiuuuuu
HELLOOOOOO
Jeongguk can’t help but smile, endeared by his drunken best friend spamming his boyfriend like his life depends on it. As if they’re not in the same district. “Can’t believe he’s already this drunk.”
“He’s adorable.” Namjoon glances at Jeongguk. “But are you down to go there later?”
“Yeah, I don’t mind. Could be fun.”
“Alright, they’re at a club fifteen minutes away by foot. Just let me know when you wanna leave.”
Jeongguk nods. “Sure thing. By the way, how are things? Good?”
“Yeah, they’re good. We’ve been talking a bit about our plans this summer. If we want to go to Hong Kong or stay in Ilsan. Part of me also wants to do Jeju. I’ve heard from some friends who’ve gone with their partners that it can easily become pretty romantic. Especially the beaches there.”
“You’ve never been to Jeju?”
Namjoon shakes his head. “Never found time for it. I’ve been in most parts of Korea with my parents, but somehow Jeju never was an option, so it’d be great to go there with Hector. I just don’t know if it’s too soon.”
Jeongguk frowns in confusion. “How come?”
“It’s one thing to go on a trip to visit my parents or his, but a trip alone? Just us? I don’t know, that's a bit scary…”
“Why’s that?”
“You just see another side of someone when you go on a trip with them. And, I don’t know, part of me is scared that we’ll see different sides of each other and not get along.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I highly doubt that, hyung. If anything, I think the trip sounds like a great idea! Jeju is the perfect spot too. Hector even mentioned a few times in the past that he wants to go there one day.”
That seems to lighten Namjoon up instantly. “Really?”
“Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure if you guys went on a trip that it’ll go well. And, let’s say it doesn’t, I trust you both will talk it out.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Thanks Jeongguk.”
Hoseok steps in, and interrupts with a question. “I’m grabbing a refill, do you guys want anything?”
Jeongguk stares down at his glass, barely having anything left. He hadn’t even noticed how many sips he had taken while talking to Namjoon about Hector.
“I think I’ll do a refill too.”
“Great! Come join me!” Hoseok doesn’t even wait for an answer before pulling Jeongguk by the arm, pulling him in the direction of the bar top.
When both of his elbows land onto the sticky wood, Hoseok waits for their turn.
“Hm—” He looks around, eyebrows tightened. “Have you seen Jin around? Shit—even Yoongi? I could’ve sworn I saw them a second ago near the pool table…”
Jeongguk clears his throat while trying to come up with a diversion. “I saw Jin a second ago by the bathroom.”
That’s a lie. He hasn’t even looked near the bathroom. Jeongguk doesn’t even have a clue where it is.
“Huh…okay.” Hoseok twists his neck, continuing to search for his friends resulting in Jeongguk internally panicking over Seokjin and Yoongi’s secret relationship being discovered, and that’s why he impulsively screams a truthful sentence.
“It’s a guy!”
“What?”
“The person I had sex with…It’s a guy.”
Hoseok’s teeth are now showing with how brightly he’s smiling. “Holy shit! Okay, okay so it’s a guy.”
He seems to start another guessing game like the one at the gym, and while Jeongguk has directly shot himself in the foot, it’s worth it because now at least Hoseok’s attention won’t be on Seokjin and Yoongi.
“Does he wear…anything remarkable?”
Jeongguk shakes his head.
“Hm, tattoos? Piercings?”
Just about to answer, a bartender comes up to them, ready to take upon a new order.
“Hi, what can I get you?”
Jeongguk looks up to order, only to notice it’s the girl who not even a second ago had Taehyung's tongue inside her mouth. The lipstick on her lips is slightly smudged, color no longer prominent, and her hair is slightly out of place.
“Just a refill. I ordered a Passionista.”
She nods. “Sure thing, and you?”
Hoseok places down the empty glass. “I think it was a vodka redbull?”
“Got it.” She immediately gets to work, leaving Hoseok to resume where their conversation ended.
“So, back to your mystery guy—”
“Mystery guy?”
Jeongguk freezes.
“Taehyungie! Where have you’ve been?”
Taehyung smiles, remaining behind him, hand supported onto the bar top, and the rest of him leaned forward, almost touching Jeongguk.
“Around,” he answers casually, leaving it open to interpretation but his eyes are dead set onto the bartender he was sucking faces with two seconds ago.
Hoseok catches on. “Ahh.”
“What were you saying again? Mystery guy?”
Jeongguk sends a warning look to his teammate, begging him to not say anything but Hoseok’s clearly drunk, and doesn’t even look at his expression.
“Well, Jeongguk’s mystery guy of course. The one he’s been having sex with.”
Taehyung’s eyebrow raises. “Oh? Interesting.”
Fuck. Someone make it stop. God—make it stop!
“So, Jeonggukie, tattoos? Piercings?”
“Uh…”
Taehyung chuckles, and moves closer. “Yeah, does he have tattoos or piercings?”
“He doesn’t.”
“Hm, is he tall?” Hoseok asks, still hopeful to get visuals on the person in question.
“I think he has tattoos. I think Jeonggukie here is lying.”
Hoseok’s expression falls in an instant. “Holy shit—wait, do you know something?”
Taehyung licks his lips, and then he looks Jeongguk dead in the eyes. “I don’t know. Say, Jeongguk, do I know something?”
“Okay, enough.” He doesn’t hesitate to drag Taehyung by ear, ignoring the fact that he’s not only leaving Hoseok stranded by the bar, but the drink as well.
It doesn’t take long for them to reach outside. The area around the bar is accompanied by a group of different people smoking, and chatting animatedly. Even though Jeongguk doesn’t recognize any of them, he’d rather be safe than sorry, which is why he pulls Taehyung by the arm, and into an alleyway that’s left bare.
“What the fuck is your problem?!”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Relax.”
“Relax?! I wouldn’t even have been in this position if you hadn’t—” He stops to bite down his tongue.
Jeongguk’s fuming.
He can feel his heartbeat quicken, and his pulse shortening with how much power he’s bringing onto the table, how much energy he’s using on just fighting with Taehyung.
“What? Hadn’t what?!” He’s tempting him, but Jeongguk doesn’t give in because he knows that Taehyung’s fully aware of what he’s talking about.
The silence forces Taehyung to say it, but as soon as he opens his mouth, Jeongguk regrets not pushing further.
“Oh! Oh, you mean if I hadn’t offered to fuck you so you could loosen up a little?” Taehyung chuckles bitterly when Jeongguk’s eyes drift downwards. “Yeah, yeah well look how that turned out. You’re not an ounce of fucking loosened, Jeongguk.”
“Wha—”
Taehyung steps closer, breathing hot against Jeongguk’s face, the smell of strong liquor hard to miss. “You’re still uptight, you’re still this wannabe perfectionist! Fuck! Look where it got us?! Where it got you?!”
Jeongguk’s back hits the brick wall behind him, trying his hardest to rid himself of Taehyung’s intense gaze, and the loud noise he brings in between them with his voice.
“Now, Coach and the whole team is depending on me! I didn’t fucking ask for that!”
“K—”
“I fucking hate you! I hate this! I fucking hate what you did to me, Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk can’t help but scoff. “You seriously think I wanted this?”
“Hell, maybe you even did it on purpose!”
That’s it.
Jeongguk pushes Taehyung with full force, body tumbling back a bit but remaining on both feet. “Fuck you!”
“You wanted this, didn’t you?! You wanted me to feel this fucking pressure on my neck, you wanted me to feel fucking humiliated for not being able to kick a fucking goal! You did, didn’t you?!”
“This isn’t about you!” Jeongguk shouts, uncaring that they might catch the attention of others because fuck he’s done. “It was never about you. This is because I care. I care about soccer, I care about the team, but then—then that happened!” He can’t even get himself to say it. He still feels deep shame of his state, of how he had everyone worried sick because he clearly does not know how to control himself.
Jesus.
He’s losing control again.
Taehyung remains quiet for what feels like an eternity. Until he opens his mouth again.
“Then I’ve misjudged you.”
Jeongguk blinks, not expecting that of all things to be said. He almost doesn’t know what to say, how to respond properly so he finds himself stumbling through his words. “Yeah…yeah maybe you did.”
That's all that’s left of it because then Taehyung leaves Jeongguk alone in the stranded alleyway, uncaring if he follows him or not.
And Jeongguk? Jeongguk stares at the ground, stares at it until Taehyung’s words no longer sound like an echo.
Notes:
WELL WELL WELL IF THE TURNS HAVEN'T TABLED :P
[p.s. there's now a kick the goal community on twitter! feel free to join :P here's the link]
Chapter 16
Summary:
alright everybody let’s all just take a deep breath before we scroll okay? 1…2…aaaand you’re already gone..okay. welp. FINE GO READ. FINE. don’t say i didn't try to prepare you for it🗿
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I think I’m gonna throw up.”
“We haven’t even made it to the top yet!”
Ryu pants, stopping in his tracks, both hands now on his knees as he tries to regulate his breathing. “Go on without me.”
Hector rolls his eyes. “I told you Rumplemintz was a bad idea! You knew we had this hike today!”
Jeongguk remains quiet the whole time, staring at the outskirts of Seoul.
“Sue me for having fun!”
“Well, you losing count on how many shots you took is slowing us down!”
Ryu makes grabby hands. “Jeonggukie, my favorite person in the whole world, carry me?”
Hector groans. “You can’t be serious—”
“It’s either that or I lie down like a starfish in the middle of nowhere,” Ryu says, tone laced with sarcasm, but both Hector and Jeongguk know he means every word.
“It’s fine,” Jeongguk gives in, crouching down in front of Ryu to make him get on his back. The minute he feels the weight, he tightens his grip around Ryu’s thighs to prevent him from slipping.
They start walking, Hector pointing out everything he sees while Ryu swings his legs, cheerful in not having to walk another few miles before they can take a proper break at the top of the hill.
Jeongguk’s nape and forehead are wet when they’ve reached their final destination, and his arms are cramping slightly. Ryu gets down the minute they catch the sign that indicates the hiking trail coming to a stop.
“Wow. The view is amazing,” Ryu comments, and Hector scoffs in offense.
“And yet you called this a bad idea.”
“Yeah because it’s not even eight in the morning!”
“I literally told you we should’ve gone home when Namjoon, and Jeongguk showed up!”
Ryu crosses his arms. “Whatever. Jeongguk?”
He doesn’t hear a word, spacing out on the sunrise, and the warmth he feels on his face.
“Do you know what’s up with him?”
“I don’t know, he’s been really quiet since last night,” Hector notes, and that seems to snap Jeongguk out of it.
“Hm?”
“Oh, nothing. Just—are you good?” Ryu’s looking at him with concern which confuses Jeongguk.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”
Honestly? Jeongguk doesn’t even know. His head keeps hearing Taehyung’s voice telling him he misjudged him. Fuck. Why is it messing with him?
“Alright. Should we grab some coffee on the way back?”
Hector sighs. “We haven’t even been here for five minutes, and you’re already thinking about what we should do when we leave.”
“It’s practical!”
Jeongguk ignores their bickering, finding a seat on the bench in front of them instead to rest his legs. They’re cramping a lot more than they usually do, and Jeongguk can’t help but blame it on the fact he’s not training like he used to. His body is still clearly recovering, but he wishes it didn’t, the reminder of what happened still permanent because of it.
Tracing a finger on the outline of the muscle on his thigh, the words ring again.
“Then I’ve misjudged you.”
Jeongguk kicks a rock in front of him, the anger from yesterday not all gone. It’s still there, subtle but there. He can feel it prickle on the outside of his skin, and the heat does nothing to help.
His roommates join him, Ryu wrapping an arm around Jeongguk while Hector points out the Namsan Tower.
“Jeonggukie—you’re so quiet!” Ryu notes, shaking him a bit to joke around but Jeongguk has a hard time going along with it. “Seriously, what’s up?”
He could tell them, but that would require starting from the beginning, from where it became all kinds of fucked up—yeah, Jeongguk would rather not.
“Hungover, probably.”
“Should I make you a hangover soup when we get home?” Ryu suggests, but Jeongguk knows what this is really about.
“You’re just using me as an excuse to go back home.”
Hector laughs loudly, and Ryu scoffs, immediately removing his hold around Jeongguk.
“I wasn’t!”
They both look at him, eyes squinted in suspicion when Ryu turns awfully quiet—which is very unlike him.
“Okay, fine! Fuck, can we please go home? This sun is making my moral hangover worse than it already is.”
Hector shakes his head. “Yeah, how do you think Jackson feels? That stuff never happens to him.”
Ryu frowns. “And you think it did for me?! Me?!”
Jeongguk squeezes Ryu’s nape to calm him down. “That guy was an asshole, okay? Forget about it.”
“Well, Jeongguk, that’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who got played by the same guy as your roommate last night!”
Hector cringes by the memory. Jeongguk can’t help but join him because—okay, yeah, it was bad.
“You met him in a club, Ryu. In Hongdae.” Jeongguk smacks him on the back lightly. “You’re bound to meet fuckboys there.”
“Dude, it hurt my confidence! Jackson hyung and I are fundamentally different—”
“Exactly why he’s an asshole, Ryu! He doesn’t give a fuck.”
Ryu crosses his arms. “I guess…”
Hector sighs, and slaps both hands onto his knees. “Alright. Enough talk about shitty men, let’s go home.”
“Thank God,” Ryu groans in victory with Jeongguk walking behind him, grateful that moments like these make him forget.
Jeongguk’s in the middle of cleaning up after dinner when Ryu runs out of his bedroom, annoyed while holding onto an empty box of—
“I ran out of condoms!” He squeezes the cardboard in between both hands in irritation. “I don’t even have time to get some new ones because of that shitty assignment due tonight and—”
“If I go down and buy some for you, will you stop whining?!” Jeongguk’s a bit tired, the hike earlier running him dry—well mostly the part of carrying Ryu on his back halfway through.
“Oh my god, will you? You’re saving me, Jeonggukie. I’ll transfer some money to you.” Ryu’s already grabbing his phone, sending the exact amount, and the brand name on a text.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine.” He finishes up the dishes, drying his hands on a cloth before opening his phone to check Ryu’s message.
from: ryuuuuu
LONG LOVE 12 pack 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
Jeongguk cringes. “Jesus, why so many dicks?”
Ryu shrugs. “What? It’s funny.”
Ignoring it, Jeongguk grabs his zip-up hoodie, pulling both arms into the sleeves while putting on his outdoor slippers, the weather turning hotter by the minute. “I’ll be back.”
“Alright, no rush. I’ll probably first use them next weekend.”
Jeongguk grimaces. “Good to know.”
The minute the door shuts, Jeongguk takes a deep breath before he starts walking towards the convenience store. His hands are occupied untangling his earphones while he walks down the stairs, the wind causing a slight breeze now that the sun is gone.
After shuffling his playlist randomly, Jeongguk takes big steps to get this condom run over with. He’s not embarrassed about it, but his gut tells him the same girl who’s been glaring at him suspiciously whenever he’s been there might be on the clock tonight.
Jeongguk sighs into the material of his hoodie. “Fuck.”
The light from the convenience store brightens up a good amount of the hill, the rest of it dark, and glowing under an orange hue, the poles old and in desperate need of a bulb change.
The door chimes when Jeongguk steps in. The worker at the register is a boy who looks like he’s still in high school with the way his nose is deeply shoved inside the wrinkled textbook, followed by a pen in one of his hands. Jeongguk can’t help but cheer internally, the uneasiness in facing that girl gone in a second.
He spoke too soon, because while she’s not here, Kim Taehyung surely is. He’s standing by the aisle for condoms, lube and other health necessities. Taehyung’s small hair strands are peeking out of the snapback, and it’s all Jeongguk catches before he starts running.
There’s absolutely no way in hell he’s going near him—especially not after what happened yesterday.
Jeongguk knows it’s ridiculous to give up that easily, to leave the nearest store, and continue down the hill until he reaches the one by the Han River. He’s surprised he hasn’t eaten shit yet, the outdoor slippers impractical when it comes to running at full speed. On top of that, he’s panting slightly, a reminder he’s let himself go, the version of him that’s caused damage—mostly on his team, and especially Taehyung.
This is why he ran. He can’t deal with this.
Usually, Jeongguk would ignore it—most of his fights with Taehyung fizzle but this wasn’t a fight, that was him being truthful. Honest. Which felt…
“Jeongguk? Is that you?”
He turns, taking out both of his earbuds. “Noa? Oh, shit, hey.”
They’re in the middle of smoking a cigarette, legs crossed as they sit on one of the metallic chairs in front of the store.
“Been a while.”
“Yeah it has. Are you working right now?”
Noa looks behind them. “Yeah, yeah I am. I’m on break though. You okay? You sound a bit out of breath.”
Jeongguk waves it off. “Oh—yeah, no I’m good.”
They grow quiet, sucking on the tobacco instead, while Jeongguk is having a hard time figuring out what to do with his hands.
“How—how’re you doing?”
Noa shrugs. “Okay, I guess?” They stare at the spot next to them, silently asking Jeongguk to take it. He does, not questioning anything.
The air is thicker than earlier, the smoke more visible, and the scent stronger but Jeongguk is not opposed to it.
“I miss him.” Noa admits.
Jeongguk’s heart drops in an instant.
“Have you talked to him?”
He shakes his head. “Not really, no.”
“Hm. I’ve kinda been debating texting Jori, just to hear how it’s going but it feels selfish.”
Jeongguk knows how they feel. He’s in the same boat, doing nothing but bring a bigger distance between him and Jori to allow him to settle properly in a new country.
But, really, it’s because the distance is fucking killing him.
“Mhm, yeah.” Jeongguk is quiet, losing half of his vocabulary at the reminder of the permanent void he feels no longer occupied by Jori’s presence, friendship… love .
“I hope he’s doing well.”
“Yeah, yeah me too.” Jeongguk hates talking about Jori. Hates how it brings up emotions, how it reminds him of the pain he felt when he was just a kid and—
“Do you need to buy something?”
“Huh?”
“At the store.”
Jeongguk blinks. “Oh—oh, yeah I’m grabbing condoms for Ryu—” Instantly, he cringes. “Just, uh, yeah I’m grabbing stuff.”
Noa suppresses a laugh. “Cool. I’m almost done with my cig.”
“Okay.”
They take another few puffs before throwing the butt in the ashtray under the chair.
“I’ll see you in there.”
“Cool.”
Jeongguk enters the store while Noa disappears behind the building. He finds the different brands of condoms pretty fast, hanging near the cashier rather than having its own aisle like the one near him, where Taehyung stoo—
Stop.
Shaking his head quickly, Jeongguk grabs the brand with the right amount as Ryu requested.
Noa shows up not long after, the blue vest on, and a name tag decorating the left side. “You need anything else?”
“Nah, this is all.”
“Okay.” They scan the condoms, guiding Jeongguk to pay, and when it goes through, they don’t hesitate to put it in a bag even though Jeongguk didn’t ask. Nonetheless, he’s grateful, not wanting to go home with a box of condoms for everyone to see.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, no worries. I’ll see you around?”
“Mhm.” Jeongguk smiles, and then he’s out of the door. He brings back his earbuds to his ears, catching the texts from Ryu that keep piling up.
from: ryuuuuu
you good?
did u die of embarrassment????
dude seriously
yo
jeongguk
guk
ITS JUST CONDOMS!!!!!!
to: ryuuuuu
jesus
i’m fine
on the way back
met noa
from: ryuuuuu
ohhhhhh
okay good
do u have my condoms 👀
to: ryuuuuu
yup
[image.png]
from: ryuuuuu
HELL YEAH
Jeongguk shuts off his phone, allowing the slow song to keep him company on his way home.
He feels weird, but he doesn’t question it, would rather forget it even though it seems keen on latching on.
Shit.
He really misses Jori.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
from: ryuuuuu
bro
did u leave without eating????
jeongguk.
DID YOU?????
Jeongguk winces at the amount of times his phone vibrates in the middle of class, the professor who’s in the middle of her presentation about anxiety regarding climate change, eyeing him suspiciously across the auditorium.
He bows in shame, grabbing his phone quickly to turn it off.
The class resumes, Jeongguk’s attention remaining until his stomach growls wildly in his stomach, and he begins to feel a bit lightheaded.
It doesn’t get worse until the professor is done with her presentation, and the lights in the auditorium are back on, almost blinding Jeongguk in the process.
The professor takes another few minutes of her time by thanking everyone for listening to the presentation, and directly bowing to Mr. Kim, honored to have been picked out of many.
When she’s out, most are already packing up their things, Mr. Kim, uncaring to it, eyes fixated onto the laptop that’s connected to the projector instead. Jeongguk uses this exact moment to respond to Ryu, or well, more like scold him for embarrassing him terribly in class.
to: ryuuuuu
i told u not to text me when i’m in class!!!!!!!
seriously dude
from: ryuuuuu
i’m out front
to: ryuuuuu
what?????
Everyone starts leaving, Jeongguk still in his exact same spot. He catches Ryu’s head peeking inside in curiosity when most students walk out of the auditorium, chatting about lunch options.
The second Ryu catches Jeongguk, he swings an arm in the air, waving what seems to be a roll of kimbap from the convenience store near campus.
He can’t even be mad, not when Ryu goes out of his way to assure Jeongguk is okay, and eating properly. But, it doesn’t stop Jeongguk from rolling his eyes dramatically while smiling.
Of course he would do this.
Backpack now on both shoulders, Jeongguk walks down to the exit, Ryu never stopping to wave the food in his hand around, almost as if Jeongguk’s a puppy being teased by his owner with a treat.
“Don’t you first have class in the afternoon?”
Ryu nods, and hands over the kimbap.
“You didn’t have to do that, y’know? I’m fine.”
“You still have to eat, Jeongguk. And I’m not leaving you until you finish that roll of kimbap.”
“I’m fine!”
His roommate crosses his arms. “Jeongguk.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll eat it—”
Ryu smiles in victory. “Good. Don’t do that again if you don’t want me showing up to your class, ‘cause I will.”
Jeongguk doesn’t doubt it. “Mhm.”
“When’s your next class?”
“At three, but I have an assignment to finish before it starts.”
“Damn it,” Ryu pouts. “Wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with me to the library so I can stare at the hot nerd…”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Yeah, you’re gonna have to do that yourself.”
“Okay. Now eat.”
“I’ll eat it later, I promise.”
Ryu doesn’t seem to believe him. It’s written all over his face when he stares at him with a deathly glare. “If you don’t eat it right now, I’ll feed you in front of everyone in this building.”
Jeongguk widens his eyes. “Dude—Okay, fuck, fine.” He opens the packaging, and brings a piece to his mouth. As he chews, he mumbles. “Good enough for you?”
Ryu smiles. “One more.”
Jeongguk sighs in annoyance but does as he’s told when he swallows the previous piece. It’s then his roommate gives him a tight hug, and a pat to his head.
“Alright, I’ll see you at home, Jeonggukie.”
“Yeah, yeah…” He waves him off, and then Ryu is out of his sight.
⚽⚽⚽
There’s two, and a half weeks until their first away game in Busan.
Jeongguk is nervous.
Games are tough when there’s no supporting crowd, cheers of encouragement, and immense celebration of their goals. And while Jeongguk can handle it—hell, is even used to it at this point, he’s a mess.
Truthfully, it’s because he’s going back there. Yes, it’ll be with the Red Devils, but Jeongguk is afraid he won’t be able to handle his emotions properly before, and after the match despite the result.
The thought of going to Busan sends him a throbbing pain in his shoulder, the exact shoulder his father had squeezed the night of the event. It’s like it’s coming back up again, the touch, the tightness he felt in his neck due to the tie, and how alone he felt.
“Jeon!”
He looks up, the ball flying towards him which he easily catches from Soohyun. Thoughts are left behind, and Jeongguk starts running, kicking forward to make the soccer ball follow his lead. Taehyung’s not that far away, but he doesn’t seem to want it when Jeongguk’s about to send it.
Somehow, Jeongguk disobeys, and does it anyway, Taehyung groaning in irritation when he catches it, and proceeds to miss the net, ball flying above the upper pole of the goal.
Taehyung spits down onto the grass, panting as he shakes the sweat out of his hair with a hand. He’s pissed, Jeongguk can tell when he clenches his jaw as their eyes meet across the field.
A whistle rings in their ears, cutting off their intense stare-off.
“Alright, practice is over! Back to the middle!”
Everyone jogs back towards Coach Lee, and Jihoon.
“Busan is nearing, and I know there’s a lot of pressure, but I have faith in you all that we’ll do well. I’ll see you Thursday.”
Taehyung’s the first to run to the locker rooms, Hoseok sending a panicked glare towards Jimin which spikes Jeongguk’s curiosity.
What the fuck is up with him?!
He doesn’t catch anymore, Yoongi joining him by the hip which is unusual.
“Hey, just wanted to thank you for saving our asses that night. Hoba told us about it.”
Jeongguk frowns in confusion. “Wait what.”
It then clicks.
“He knows?!”
Yoongi nods, glancing behind him to assure no one overhears what he says next. “He’s had his suspicions, and I couldn't really hold it in any longer.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Jeongguk did all that…all that for nothing?
“You okay there?”
“Yeah, yeah no I’m okay—just, didn’t expect it.”
Yoongi pats him on the back gently. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. I should’ve let you know, both of you.”
“It’s cool.”
Neither Hoseok nor Jeongguk knew about what the other knew, which therefore makes it nothing but an honest mistake. He’s just content Yoongi is acknowledging his actions that night, and thanking him for it—rightfully so.
“Also, I told him to give you a break about who you’ve been with. It’s clear you don’t want to talk about it, and he should respect that,” Yoongi continues, which warms Jeongguk’s heart.
“Thanks, hyung.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”
They enter the locker rooms, proceeding to shower, and clean up like the rest before their afternoon classes roll around.
In the middle of drying his hair with a towel, Jeongguk catches Taehyung adjusting his gold necklaces before putting on a zip-up hoodie, uncaring that he’s shirtless beneath it.
His expression is empty, hard to read, and it stresses Jeongguk out. He hates that it’s somehow affecting him when Taehyung’s done nothing but put more distance between them, which is exactly what Jeongguk needs.
So why the fuck is it bothering him?
He doesn’t get to think further, Taehyung leaving the locker rooms after putting on his godforsaken snapback.
Whatever.
If he’s not going to help them win, the others will, and that’s all that matters in the end. Jeongguk can deal with a little pressure—he’s done it before. It’s fine .
Not long after, Jeongguk is the next to leave, his duffel bag now slung over his shoulders. The throbbing pain from earlier returns in an instant, the strap feeling heavy.
He ignores it, biting his tongue instead, and endures it as he walks towards the exit of the building. Jeongguk digs both hands into the pocket of his shorts, disappointed when he realizes he forgot his earphones today of all days.
The lack of music causes him to be more aware of his surroundings—plants in almost every corner of the lounge where most athletes take the time to run through some assignments before training. By the exit, there’s a bulletin board, filled with fliers for different types of activities—such as, open mic night, karaoke, and some barbecue night when summer has fully approached.
Jeongguk’s eyes roam casually over the board, and then he spots something he hasn’t seen before. A sheet of paper with bold letters, expressing if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, there are therapists specifically for athletes that are available at any time. He can’t help but think about Jackson, his advice, how he had dealt with overachievement, and stress with therapy.
He reads further, noticing Jihoon is the one who wrote it, his number attached in the bottom, and Jeongguk grabs a piece, finger sliding across it while he debates on what to do.
Part of him wants him to leave it be, figure it out on his own but then—then there’s the small part of him that needs it, that calls out for it, scared that he’ll land further down if he takes matters into his own hands. Jeongguk gulps down, the throbbing pain still permanent in his shoulder, the void in his stomach still visible after Jori’s departure—the result after his accident, and how his relationship with soccer has taken a huge turn simply because Jeongguk decided that he didn’t need to be taken care of, by himself or anyone else.
He crunches the paper, and starts moving, not holding back.
Jeongguk needs it.
He needs help.
Jihoon’s office is next to Coach Lee’s, the door wide open which is a sign that he’s free as of now.
Jeongguk knocks lightly, Jihoon’s eyes drifting from his desktop.
“Jeongguk?”
“Do you have a second?”
Jihoon nods. “Sure, come sit.”
To make it easier, Jeongguk closes the door, needing privacy to become brave. He sits down onto the leather chair, the fabric creaking beneath him as the silence stretches out in the small space.
“What can I do for you?”
“I—I, uh, saw the paper out front, about therapists for athletes?”
Jihoon nods.
“And, I wanted to ask if I could sign up for one?” Jeongguk’s leg is bouncing uncontrollably, nerves jumping and feeling out of place because this is so unlike him.
“Yeah, of course you can. You just need to fill out this form—hold on.” His hands scramble beneath the desk, and into the drawers before pulling out the paper in question. “Here. Fill this out, return it back to me on Thursday after practice, and I’ll see what I can do.”
Jeongguk grabs it slowly with a bit of hesitation laced onto the tip of his fingers. “Okay.”
“Good, I’ll see you Thursday, Jeongguk.”
“Yeah, thanks again.”
He gets up, body feeling weird—a mixture of light and heavy causing a slight imbalance. It takes a second for him to gather the right pressure in his feet, and once he does, Jeongguk walks out.
Just as he’s about to take another step—he hears him.
“Coach.”
Jeongguk looks around, confused by not spotting Taehyung, and that’s when he realizes he’s in Coach Lee’s office, the door slightly ajar, enough for him to hear everything.
He really shouldn’t stand here—he should walk away, give them the privacy they deserve, but then Taehyung says something unexpected.
“I want out.”
Instantly, Jeongguk’s throat turns hot with anger.
“Taehyung…Where is this coming from?”
“I can’t be the striker the team needs. I’m not right for it—I’m not Jeongguk.”
Sweat accumulates around Jeongguk’s nape. He doesn’t know what triggers it, if it’s Taehyung acknowledging his skills, or if it’s the nerves being deeply unsettled by the fact Taehyung wants out right before a big match ahead of them.
“Were there issues practicing with him? Is that why?”
Shit. If Taehyung says yes, Jeongguk’s in big trouble, and might even be benched as promis—
“No. No, this is all me, Coach.”
Huh. That’s surprising.
He hears Coach Lee let out a deep sigh, probably squished by disappointment. “Taehyung, I hear your wishes, but I need to be sure that you’re serious about this. We’ll talk about it again on Thursday. Take some time to properly think about it, okay?”
“Okay… yeah, we can do that.”
Taehyung sounds… upset.
Jeongguk doesn’t dwell on it any longer, he can’t when Taehyung steps out of the office and catches him red handed.
“Wh—”
Running on pure instinct, Jeongguk grabs Taehyung’s ear again and drags him elsewhere, not wanting Coach Lee to give him a proper lesson on how it’s unacceptable to be eavesdropping on a teammate.
He knows, but it was just an accident.
When they’ve reached the lounge, Taehyung grabs him by the wrist, and pushes him away. “Ow—what the fuck?!”
“Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Taehyung blinks, and then it seems to click for him. “Are you stalking me?!”
Jeongguk scoffs. “No. I have my own shit, Kim.”
While Taehyung rubs at his previously pulled ear, he steals a glance at the form folded in two in Jeongguk’s left hand.
“Still doesn’t give you a right to fucking eavesdrop!”
Jeongguk ignores it, aware that what he did was wrong, but there’s a bigger issue at hand, an issue that transforms into boiling red anger.
“Whatever—why the fuck do you want out? You can’t do that. Not when we’re less than two weeks away from Busan—you just—you can’t fucking do that, Kim.”
He laughs in his face, bitter and fake, causing Jeongguk to tighten his fists to control the anger that swims violently under his skin.
The form crumples in the process. Jeongguk completely unaware.
“I want out because I want fucking out.” Taehyung tries to leave, but Jeongguk stops him with a harsh grip to his bicep.
“No, no you’re not. You’re doing this because you’re giving up too easily!” Jeongguk’s bringing them both onto thin ice, hinting into what was said last weekend when they were both under the influence.
“Let fucking go,” Taehyung says with gritted teeth, pulling himself away from Jeongguk’s hold that isn’t too tight to begin with. “I’d suggest going to Minjae rather than waste your time with me.”
Jeongguk bites his tongue down. “Kim.”
He ignores him, walks past him, and Jeongguk’s anger and nerves grow worse, more restless, more violent, and then it lashes out in an instant.
“Taehyung!”
He freezes in his spot, but doesn’t turn meanwhile Jeongguk’s eyes widen in shock, unable to process himself what the fuck just happened.
His tongue feels weird, half numb and prickling in uneasiness, but it doesn’t stop Jeongguk. “You—you can’t just fucking leave! You can’t just quit! Do you even care about the Red Devils?! Huh?!”
Taehyung finally faces him, takes a few long steps, enough for Jeongguk to finally read his facial expression.
He’s angry.
“Care ?! I’m fucking quitting because I care. The team will be fine without me, okay?! Because guess what, Jeongguk, you’re right, I am nothing but a lazy fuckboy who can’t shoot properly, and can’t do anything but fuck . Yeah. I’m all of that.”
It’s weird, Taehyung’s saying all these things, repeating Jeongguk’s earlier lash outs and yet, Jeongguk has a hard time believing him now.
Why is it so hard to believe?!
Maybe because you’ve misjudged him.
Shit.
Jeongguk shakes himself out of those thoughts, and instead focuses on the anger that’s still prickling and hot. “Then get your fucking shit together! You and I both know Minjae won’t be able to handle it! You saw how he played out there with you!”
Taehyung closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. “Jeon.”
“No. You’re not fucking quitting—”
“Then what now?!”
“We’ll make this work!”
Taehyung takes a step back in surprise, not expecting Jeongguk to suggest they actually do this. “It won’t work.”
“It might.”
“It won’t.”
“Kim—”
“It won’t! You saw me out there, it won’t. ”
Jeongguk pulls him by the front of his hoodie, tightening his hold around the fabric, the zipper feeling cold against his hot knuckles. “Shut up! It will if we just stop!”
Taehyung frowns. “Stop?”
“This—just…Let’s stop. For the team.” He loosens his hold around him, Taehyung now looking at him like he’s lost his mind.
“What.”
“For the team, Kim.”
“So what…You want us to—” He pauses to grimace. “ Tolerate each other?”
“For the fucking team!”
Taehyung shakes his head. “For fucks sake.”
“Just—let’s do this. Properly this time.”
“Hm.”
Come on, come on, please fuck— come on .
“Fine.”
Taehyung walks away, freely this time, and Jeongguk’s anger fizzles out, no longer latching onto his skin.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
from: unknown number
field
10
to: unknown number
15
from: unknown number
10
to: unknown number
fine
[seen]
When he reaches the field, Jeongguk takes a headband, brings it upwards to push the long strands of hair out of his face.
Taehyung’s already there, scrolling on his phone as one of his cleat clad feet is keeping a soccer ball locked beneath it. He’s not moving it around, too focused on whatever’s happening on his phone.
Jeongguk doesn’t say any proper greeting, instead he lets his duffel bag drop flat down onto the grass, the noise snapping Taehyung out of his daze.
“Oh. Hey.”
“Hey…” Jeongguk cringes at how civil they sound, how there’s no thick tension, no anger lingering in between them—just, nothing.
It’s weird.
Jeongguk doesn’t like weird, doesn’t think he’ll get used to it but he’s forced to endure it.
Shit .
“So…”
“Uh, yeah, you can just—” Jeongguk clears his throat. “Start.”
“Cool.” Taehyung does as told, putting down his phone along with his other belongings before moving towards the goal while Jeongguk stays behind to put on his cleats, and shin protector socks.
He kicks, and the ball lands into the corner of the field. Jeongguk is just about to throw a comment but he withholds himself.
No bullshit.
No bullshit.
Instead, he watches Taehyung curiously, and notices how strained his muscles are right before shooting, and how they’re quickly loosened when he runs to fetch the ball.
Hm. That’s odd.
Jeongguk doesn’t comment on it—finds it to be too soon given they’ve decided to act properly for the sake of the team, something they should’ve done ages ago but…
“Maybe you need a different technique.”
Taehyung lifts his head to meet Jeongguk’s eyes. “What?”
“Yeah, maybe the way I do it doesn’t work for you.”
“Isn’t there only one way to do it?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “Beats me. You just need it inside the net—who gives a shit how you do it?”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I give a shit.”
“Okay, well, then don’t.” Jeongguk points at the net. “Get it in. It doesn't matter if you look ridiculous, or it doesn’t seem professional.”
Taehyung eyes him suspiciously. “Hm. Okay…”
He kicks it, not in the way he’s been taught but just the way his leg swings in that instant, and still…still nothing.
“Huh. Guess your idea sucked.”
Jeongguk rolls his tongue inside his mouth. “Mhm. Okay.”
“Now what?”
“You’re gonna try again, only this time—” Jeongguk moves to guard the goal. “I’ll be guarding it. Hit me, Kim.”
Taehyung laughs. “What? Hit you?”
“Anything to get that fucking soccer ball in—come on! Kick it!” Jeongguk’s patience is frankly running thin.
Jesus Christ.
Maybe they really can’t do this.
“This is a bad idea,” Taehyung notes but doesn’t exactly walk away from it, instead he places the soccer ball down, getting ready for a penalty shot. Jeongguk swings his upper body from side to side—copying what Namjoon does whenever he’s tested by his teammates during practice.
“Don’t be a pussy,” Jeongguk spits. “Fucking sh—”
Taehyung does without warning him, the ball flying direct and right into—
“Oh fuck— ” Jeongguk loses all the air in his lungs as he falls down onto his knees, hands holding onto his crotch as if it’ll make a difference. “Sh—”
“Holy shit,” Taehyung says before he starts laughing, Jeongguk sends him a death glare but doesn’t bite back, knowing this is on him after all. “Holy shit I got it in!”
While still groaning in pain, Jeongguk cranes his neck, and spots the soccer ball resting in the corner of the net.
“Congratu—ah fuck,” Jeongguk whines, the ache so bad he’s barely able to breathe. God .
“You good?”
“Hm—need a second,” Jeongguk says in one breath.
Taehyung pouts dramatically. “Aw, do you need a bandaid?”
Jeongguk sends him the middle finger, his words gone in an instant when another jab of pain hits him.
“I think we should call it for tonight.”
“Y-You think?!” Jeongguk spits back, voice a bit pitchy.
“Okay, well, I’m out.”
And just like that, Taehyung leaves Jeongguk alone on the field, uncaring that he’s hit him where it hurts the most.
At least, at least he got the soccer ball in.
Progress, as they say.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s Friday evening, and Jeongguk already feels a bit better.
He had filled out the form, and handed it to Jihoon after yesterday’s practice as promised. It’s small, barely anything really, but Jeongguk feels like he’s never been braver.
For a second it felt wrong to sit there and ask for help, but after getting through the worst part, Jeongguk feels like he can properly breathe again.
It seems to be noticeable, Ryu smiling at him whenever they’ve made eye contact as his fingers move around the console in his hands, Hector seated next to him on the couch with a tongue poked out in concentration.
“You guys still playing?” Jackson asks, jacket still on as he steps inside the living room after being out most of the day.
“I gotta beat Ryu so he doesn’t call me weak again.”
Jackson chuckles. “Didn’t take you for the competitive type, Hecky. What’s up with that?”
Hector shrugs. “Don’t kn— fuck ! Ryu, you’re cheating!”
Ryu laughs loudly, Peach now in front of Yoshi on the big screen. “I’m not cheating! You’re just weak .”
Jackson gets brushed off by Hector when he tries to apologize, aware he’s at fault by stealing his attention for a solid second.
“Hey, Jeongguk.”
“Hey, hyung.”
There hasn’t really been a proper moment where Jeongguk could tell Jackson, him running in and out of the apartment due to the upcoming weekend where his themed nights, and special events come to play.
“How was work?”
Jackson lets out a long sigh as he crashes down onto the edge of the couch, closest to Jeongguk that’s sitting on the chair beside it. “Exhausting. One from my team had a really hard time deciding the color palette for the event, and it just ended up dragging for hours . But, besides that, I’m okay. How are you? How was practice yesterday?”
“Damn, sorry to hear that, and no yeah, practice was good. I, I actually si—”
Jeongguk’s interrupted by the doorbell.
“Oh—that must be Jimin.” Ryu is quick to end the confusion, but doesn’t seem to pause the game and get up to welcome him in.
“Alright, I’ll get it,” Jeongguk offers, feeling sympathetic for Jackson’s drained state.
“Thanks.”
When he walks towards the door, he notices he’s not properly dressed, lounging in sweatpants that apparently have a kimchi stain near his crotch area of all places, paired with a wrinkled t-shirt.
Shit .
Fuck it. It’s just Jimin.
Jeongguk opens the door, smiling when he sees Jimin, but it drops in an instant when he spots Taehyung.
“W—”
“Good to see you, Jeongguk!” Jimin greets, hugging him and ignoring the weird tension filling the air.
The door gets pulled wider, and Jimin steps inside without any hesitation, Taehyung still standing in the hallway, stoic expression painting his face.
“The fuck are you doing here?” He asks bitterly, the coast now clear seeing that Jimin’s in the living room.
Taehyung shrugs. “Was bored.”
“Huh.”
There’s nothing more, just the odd, filling tension when Taehyung steps inside, and takes off his shoes. “Nice stain, by the way.”
Of course he’d notice.
“Yeah, thanks, dickhead.”
He chuckles, and joins the rest in the living room, Jeongguk trailing behind after closing the door properly.
“Taehyung? Hey, what a nice surprise!” Ryu says all excited while not removing his eyes from the screen, wanting to prove Hector right that he is indeed the best Mario Kart player.
“Thought it could be fun to join in on your little gaming night,” Taehyung explains, making everyone believe it until Jimin opens his mouth.
“He’s lying. His booty call cancelled last minute because he overlooked an assignment.”
Jeongguk can’t help but snort, Taehyung rolling his eyes when it turns into a full blown laugh.
“Well, it’s nice to have you here,” Hector says when Jeongguk tries to muffle his laugh, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his roommates.
“Thanks.”
Jeongguk goes to sit on the chair, Taehyung still standing by the couch with both hands holding onto the edge behind Jimin's head.
It grows quiet for a second, and then Taehyung breaks it.
“Hey, Jeon?”
“What.”
He smiles, slow and evil and instantly Jeongguk knows he’s doomed. “How’re your balls?”
Instantly, Ryu chokes on the water he was drinking, and the rest have a mixture of utmost confusion, and surprise written all over their faces.
“H-His what?!”
“He kicked me in the balls,” Jeongguk explains with gritted teeth, pissed that Taehyung would bring it up now of all places.
“Oh—oh okay.” Ryu’s quick to brush it off, used to it by now, returning his attention onto the game along with Hector. Jimin and Jackson as well, no longer bothered by what had just happened, continuing their conversation about music instead.
While they sink into their own little world, Jeongguk gets up, and drags Taehyung by the ear into the kitchen to create a proper distance.
“Ow—can you stop doing that?!”
“Get used to it,” Jeongguk bites back quickly. “My balls are fine for your information, Kim.”
Taehyung rubs down the pinkish spot on his ear. “Is that really why you dragged me in here?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I don’t want you talking about what we do.”
“And what is it that we do, Jeongguk?” His tone is teasing, almost identical to the one he used on him when they were stuck in seven minutes in heaven.
“Don’t do that.”
He raises an eyebrow, an action that looks so innocent, as if he’s completely unaware of what he’s referring to, but Jeongguk is smarter than that.
Taehyung knows exactly what he’s doing.
“Whatever, just—don’t bring up what we do. We clear? Okay, cool.” He doesn’t even wait for a confirmation, certain Taehyung will obey his request.
“I’m craving turtle chips…” Ryu whines, pausing the game seconds before Hector surpasses him.
“Ryu, what the fuck!”
“Oh, grow up, it’s a game.”
“Yeah, easy for you to say—”
Jimin butts in, squeezing Hector's shoulder for comfort. “How about we go down and buy some snacks, take a little break from Mario Kart, and come back and all do something?”
They nod in unison.
“Great! Let’s go.”
They all step outside after putting on their jackets, Jimin putting his arms around Ryu, Hector and Taehyung, before dragging them towards the stairs which leaves Jeongguk alone with Jackson.
“What did you want to tell me earlier?”
“Oh—well, yesterday, I—I uh, signed up for therapy,” Jeongguk says, surprised that the words don't feel heavy on his tongue, but rather light and jumpy.
Jackson’s eyes light up. “Really? Jeongguk, that’s great, I’m really proud of you.” He brings him into a hug, Jeongguk not expecting to have such close contact with Jackson but it feels warm, and deeply comforting.
When they pull apart, Jackson throws an arm over his shoulders as they join the others by the end of the stairs. “Do you know when you start?”
“Not yet, but Jihoon told me it would likely be after our match to Busan.”
“How do you feel about that? Is that okay?”
Truth be told, it would’ve helped Jeongguk immensely if he could get some help before having to go back home, his nerves still out of place at the reminder of the game.
“It’s…fine. I’ll be okay,” Jeongguk says it because he believes it, and surprisingly so does Jackson.
“That’s good.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Why do you do that?”
“Huh?” Taehyung’s panting, shirt half drenched on his chest area paired with the ends of his hair wet with sweat.
Jeongguk points at Taehyung’s shoulders. “You get all uptight in your posture when you’re about to shoot. Why do you do that?”
Taehyung grimaces. “Why are you staring at my form?”
He scoffs. “I kinda have to, Kim.”
“Whatever. I don’t know, it’s a reflex.” He brushes it off, grabbing the soccer ball, ready to shoot it again, but then Jeongguk throws in an unexpected tip.
“Don’t think.”
“Huh?”
“When you shoot, just—don’t think.”
Taehyung’s frown disappears, his eyes less concentrated, muscles no longer tightening. The front of his chest swells for a second as he takes a breath, and then he shoots.
The ball flies, fast and precise, and it hits the top corner of the goal, the net swinging backwards due to the speed.
Holy shit.
“It worked…” Taehyung notes in awe, Jeongguk no better, having gone mute in shock as he stares at the soccer ball captured by the strings, completely covered by the fabric.
Taehyung doesn’t wait for Jeongguk to say anything, instead he runs to pick up the ball, and goes back to his previous position before he continues to kick.
It feels like a miracle when Taehyung gets it each time.
Somehow, watching Taehyung like this, loosened, and quiet it fucks with Jeongguk.
Usually he’s saying whatever comes to mind, things that tend to be in a sexual context, most of it to mess with Jeongguk, but now? Now, he’s quiet…serious .
“What.”
“Hm?”
Taehyung grins. “You’re staring.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You were. Don’t be shy.”
Ah. There he goes again. Jeongguk spoke too soon.
“Whatever, keep going.”
Taehyung does, relaxing again as he prepares to shoot. His eyes close for a second, as if he’s taking a moment, and it spikes a curiosity in Jeongguk.
He can’t help but think that there’s more to him than he sees, more that he doesn’t know, and it only confirms what he was so petrified by.
Yeah.
Taehyung’s not the only one.
Jeongguk has definitely misjudged him as well.
Fuck.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Kim, left! To your left!”
“I got it!” Taehyung shouts back, the ball kept instead of sent towards Jeongguk as he had hoped for when he fought himself free from Hoseok’s defense.
Mere inches away, Taehyung glances upwards towards Namjoon whose arms are stretched out, knees bent to prevent the ball from hitting the goal. Jeongguk can see it, the opportunity to take a shot never been more clear than now.
Taehyung takes it.
There’s no more hesitation when he shoots—no carefulness. Instead it’s reckless, precise, and perfectly leveled.
Namjoon doesn’t catch it, the Red Devils ecstatic over Taehyung’s abilities laid out at today’s practice. They all run towards him when Coach Lee blows the whistle, signaling that they’re done for the day.
As Jeongguk watches his teammates, some of them kissing Taehyung flat on the cheek, ruffling the small strands of his hair, Jeongguk lets out a sigh while wiping down his forehead with the ends of his jersey.
For a second out there, he felt… useless. He felt left out, pushed aside, and barely acknowledged.
Jimin’s clinging onto Taehyung’s back, screaming words of encouragement, congratulating him, and as Jeongguk’s about to look away, their eyes meet for a split second.
Hm.
When Jeongguk walks away and towards the locker rooms, his body feels heavier than before practice, and then a familiar inside voice rings painfully in his ears.
They don’t need yo—
He shakes it off, shocked he’s experiencing a second of what he used to battle with a few days before his accident.
Before this fucked up mess.
Fuck.
What is happening to him?
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Alright, should we head out?” Jongha suggests, everyone in the apartment already able to feel the slight buzz from the alcohol. Jeongguk isn’t one of them, unable to drink when the Busan game is next weekend.
Ryu, on the other hand, is swinging back and forth on the couch in excitement. His face is slightly flushed, and his breath smells strongly of Tequila when he starts to shout next to Jeongguk.
“We need Rumplemintz! We should do Rumplemintz!”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Dude—c’mon.”
He guides them out of the apartment while Jongha double checks that everything is turned off, that nothing is left behind when he closes the door, and types in his code.
Hector joins Ryu, and Jeongguk as they head downstairs, one of Jongha’s friends blasting a song from his phone, screaming the lyrics as if they’re already in the club.
The moment they step out on the street, Jeongguk feels a buzz in his pocket.
Ryu’s babbling about Rumplemintz, Hector fully occupied by the topic, which is what leads Jeongguk to check his phone.
from: unknown number
u free rn?
Jeongguk glances sideways, assuring his roommates aren’t snooping on who’s texting him. When the coast feels clear, he types back a response.
to: unknown number
no
why
[seen]
For a second, Taehyung is typing but then it stops, and Jeongguk frowns in confusion.
What the fuck?
“Jeonggukie, we’re here!”
It snaps him out of it, his attention now on his roommates rather than the text messages.
The club Jongha has picked is in Hongdae, one of the first you see when you step onto the crowded street. There’s a mixture of sweat, perfume and smoke-like smells in the air, and Jeongguk grimaces when it grows worse as they stand in line.
The group of people in front of them are loud, vaping carelessly on the street, the synthetic smell of strawberries, and lemon overflowing.
Jeongguk grimaces, and turns his head in another direction, the stench making him lightheaded.
It’s not unusual to stand in line for clubs, but this one is quite long, and Jeongguk wonders why.
“Have you been here before?” He’s asking Ryu, who has a well known history of most clubs available in Seoul.
“Hm…” His roommate squints his eyes as he stares upwards, trying to catch onto the neon sign. “Ah—oh, this is Club Mongs. It’s really popular, actually so popular that a lot of foreigners, and tourists go there. Maybe that explains the long line.”
“Got it.” Jeongguk tucks both hands inside his pockets, the urge to find out why Taehyung texted, specifically why the fuck he’s not responding to him higher than ever. It’s a time like now where Jeongguk hates that he’s curious, too curious for his own liking.
“Namjoon keeps texting me, you'd think he’s drunk,” Hector giggles, nose facing down onto the screen of his phone.
“What’s he saying?” Ryu asks.
“That Taehyung’s on his way to his, and Yoongi’s place. He asked him if they could hang out, ‘cause apparently Jimin’s busy.”
“Huh.”
Instantly, both of his roommates send him a surprised look, not expecting Jeongguk to react.
“I mean—s’just, unexpected.” Jeongguk clears his throat. “That’s all.”
“Hm, they hang out a lot, though. What’s going on with you? You’re acting weird.”
Jeongguk widens his eyes. “What? No I’m not?”
Ryu joins in. “You totally are. What’s going on? Did something happen? Something with…” His roommate winks at him, signaling that he thinks this is about Taehyung—it’s not, but then again it is.
Somehow it is.
“Something with who? Taehyung?!”
“Nothing happened,” Jeongguk quickly shuts down, sending a warning look to Ryu.
Hector lets it go, and goes back to texting Namjoon meanwhile Ryu grabs Jongha by the arm, and starts suggesting the idea of Rumplemintz.
Jeongguk doesn’t know why but his body acts before his brain, too impulsive for his own liking, and that’s how he finds himself staring at his messages with Taehyung.
Part of him is growing an urge to write something, anything really because why did he ask that?! That’s unlike Taehyung, unlike them .
“Namjoon’s calling me, hold on.” Hector steps away from them, finding a corner instead which leaves Jeongguk alone with his thoughts, Ryu still talking about fucking Rumplemintz to Jongha.
The tip of his finger is buzzing when he’s about to act on his curiosity but then—
“What’re you doing?”
Immediately Jeongguk shoves down his phone into his pocket.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Let me see.”
“Ryu—”
He’s trying to reach for his phone jokingly, but it only sends Jeongguk into a panicked state.
“Seriously, let me see!” He’s laughing now, probably due to Jeongguk trying his best to avoid the phone being grabbed his roommate, uncaring that he looks fucking stupid.
“It’s nothing!”
Ryu widens his eyes. “Oh my god. Oh my god, it’s Taehyung isn’t i—”
“No! No, what?! No. It’s not,” Jeongguk brushes off, not surprised that his roommate doesn’t believe a single word.
“Holy shit. It is!”
“I—shut up. It’s not.”
“I can’t believe it.”
Jeongguk is just about to spew denial again when Mina grabs onto his and Ryu’s arms. “Guys, come on, let’s go in!”
The conversation is dropped in an instant, Jeongguk thankful because the last thing he wants is for tonight to be about Taehyung.
They step inside, the club packed, so much they have to squeeze themselves through to reach the bar. Ryu doesn’t hesitate to grab Jeongguk by the hand to assure they don’t lose each other.
Hectors right behind them, holding onto the sleeve of Jeongguk’s shirt. “Namjoon, and Taehyung wanted me to tell you guys that they hope we have a good night!”
Ryu grins. “Oh, I’m sure!”
Jeongguk sends him a cold glare while internally dying of embarrassment.
When they reach the bar, Ryu slaps both hands onto the bar top, and orders Rumplemintz when a bartender shows availability.
As they pour down the liquor onto the tray, Jeongguk feels his phone buzz uncontrollably in his pocket.
Thankfully, Ryu’s attention is elsewhere which creates an opportunity for Jeongguk to check without any problems.
to: unknown number
kihgvv
from: unknown number
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
awww
looks like someone can’t handle being left on read
cute
[seen]
Jeongguk slaps a hand onto his forehead, cursing to get rid of the discomfort but it doesn’t seem to work. He could scold Ryu, but that wouldn’t help with the situation at hand.
It still sent, and Jeongguk is feeling embarrassed nonetheless.
Therefore, he chooses to ignore the text, not wanting to indulge but most importantly feeding Taehyung’s incredibly high ego by answering him, even though it would’ve been filled with curse words, and a lot of anger.
It’s not worth it.
“Let’s get fucked up!”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The trip to Busan is four days away, and Taehyung’s only gotten better. He’s growing confident in his kicks, and rather creative, something that has taken Jeongguk by surprise.
To assure he’s able to properly handle the score for upcoming games, Coach Lee suggested Namjoon join their training.
And now they’re here, in the middle of the field, kicking back and forth while Namjoon keeps guard of the goal.
So far, Namjoon has held the score on a zero, his moves stronger than Taehyung, and Jeongguk’s skills.
But, Jeongguk can’t help but feel hopeful.
At some point, Namjoon’s gloves will miss the ball, and it’ll land right in the net where it belongs.
Back and forth, Taehyung and Jeongguk send the soccer ball between each other, trying their hardest to distract him, and trick him to believe Taehyung will kick in another corner than he’s given the impression of.
Without even communicating about it, Taehyung kicks the ball towards Jeongguk much earlier than Namjoon anticipated, and before the goalkeeper can even glance at him, Jeongguk delivers it flying back to Taehyung.
The slot is now open, and there’s not an ounce of uncertainty inside of Taehyung when he fires it directly into the goal.
Namjoon groans when he notices, but can’t help but clap like the supportive teammate that he is.
Still, Jeongguk can’t help but jokingly bite back at Namjoon’s earlier comment.
“What was that about not getting it in?”
Before Namjoon can even respond, Taehyung butts in.
“Yeah, hyung, what did you say again?”
They both laugh in unison, something very unusual, but Jeongguk is too happy about Namjoon’s offended frown to care.
“Alright, alright.” He gives up, hands now in surrender.
Jeongguk claps, and glances at Taehyung who’s currently hugging his stomach due to his laughter being too strong.
This whole thing is weird, but it doesn’t feel weird.
Jeongguk doesn’t question it.
“Since when are you two getting along?” Namjoon asks, glowing with a smile.
Immediately, Jeongguk and Taehyung’s laughter stops.
“What.”
“Huh.”
Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “You seem pretty friendly to m—what?!”
Jeongguk, and Taehyung share the same grimace, cringing internally at the word friendly being thrown to describe them—whatever this is.
“Uh…”
“Absolutely not.”
Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Okay, whatever you guys say.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Nerves are restless at today’s practice. Jeongguk knows it’s because tomorrow they have an early bus ride to Busan, their game on Saturday awaiting them.
But mostly, he knows it’s home. The memories, his fathers presence, and his strong permanent smell that is the cause of his unwell state. He knows that’s why he lacks focus today, and Jeongguk hates how much power he’s allowing the thoughts to hold over him.
It also explains why it feels harder today, Coach Lee and Jihoon both glaring coldly as they move around and do the practice match as usual.
Jeongguk feels slow today, too slow for his own liking but he doesn’t let it overtake him, playing the game right, and supporting his teammates on the field.
Thankfully, it’s going well, no big mistakes that make them fall backwards, but then Jeongguk receives the ball from Soohyun, and he grows blank.
Still, despite it, he moves.
He moves far enough to fire it back to Taehyung who can—hopefully take a clean shot, and end practice on a good note.
As Taehyung tries to receive it, the soccer ball trails behind him, now too far from the goal without the proper speed. Jeongguk knows what’s coming even before Taehyung picks himself back up, and shoots.
Namjoon easily catches it, the ball too loose in the air to create the right momentum for a goal.
Shit.
Everyone groans in complaint except Jeongguk.
Taken by surprise, the venomous voices slither back inside his head.
You’re too slow.
They don’t need you.
The whistle brings them to a stop, and Jeongguk runs back with his teammates towards Coach Lee, and Jihoon.
“I’ve seen some great improvement, and I don’t doubt we’ll kill it in Busan. Speaking of which, for further information about the trip, Jihoon, and I have sent an email regarding the location where we’ll be staying, and when the match is. I suggest reading it before we leave tomorrow morning. Remember, we’ll be meeting out front of Seoul Central Station at five-thirty sharp. The bus driver, Mr. Choi, has informed me we’ll be leaving at exactly six o’clock. I have faith that you all will meet up on time. That’s all for now, Go Reds!”
“Go Reds!” Everyone shouts back before running out to the locker rooms.
Jeongguk stays behind, the lingering sensation in his feet feeling off after what had just happened.
He catches Jihoon, Coach Lee walking back towards his office beside the Red Devils, probably listing off what they need to remember to bring with them.
“Hey, Jihoon?”
“Yes?”
“Uh—Was my form okay? It felt off. I couldn’t really help but notice that I was too slow—which just resulted in Kim failing the shot and—”
“Woah, Jeongguk, slow down. You were fine.”
He’s lying .
Jeongguk swallows down a thick lump. “Okay, thanks.”
He starts walking towards the locker rooms, and that’s when he notices Taehyung a few feet away, staring at him with immense intensity but not saying a word.
“The fuck are you looking at?”
“Nothing.”
Shit.
What if he heard him…
Jeongguk shakes his head.
“That’s impossible,” he mumbles under his breath, after Taehyung starts running behind the others towards the locker rooms.
It really can’t be possible.
Jeongguk shouldn’t be here—he really shouldn’t but the voices, the voices grow louder.
You’re weak.
Pathetic.
You’re not good enough.
Try again.
Try harder.
And he does, Jeongguk does as the voices tell him. He kicks, runs, ignoring the uncertainty in his legs, in his chest—his heart pounding in warning.
He can’t stop.
One kick.
Jeongguk pants, runs to grab the ball and goes back towards the front of the net, and repeats. He kicks again, the shots fine—regular really, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough if he wants to be the best one day.
If you even can.
One more. Jeongguk moves again, his panting turning shorter, and his hair growing damp with sweat—a painful reminder that he’s doing the opposite of what’s good for him, but he just—he can’t fucking stop.
It’s scary.
He feels like he’s fallen deep into a dark hole, a real one, one that doesn’t hold back from telling him the truth.
You’re not good enough.
You’ll never get there.
You’ve let yourself go.
Pathetic.
You’re so fucking pathetic.
Jeongguk groans, cursing out loud when the ball hits the pole rather than the net.
Shit.
The voices are right.
He can’t fucking shoot right anymore. He’s lost all skill—he’s useless, no longer an addition to the team. He’s just there to remind them that they can fail, and that they will fail as long as he’s running alongside them.
He’s become everything he’s ever feared.
He picks up the ball again, legs shaking slightly, muscles tense and struggling but Jeongguk pays it no mind. He can’t go to Busan tomorrow if he doesn’t do well. He can’t.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, running towards the ball and kicking it with full force. It slaps the netted goal, the sound echoing in the empty field.
He takes a deep breath before jogging to start over again, eyes glancing upwards, studying the stars that remind him that it’s late, that he’s been here for hours but Jeongguk ignores it.
He has to.
He has to in order not to fail.
When he’s about to shoot again, another bitter voice rings in his ears.
You were always meant to be where you are now.
It’s what you chose, Jeongguk.
No—no, he wants—Jeongguk sucks in a breath—he wants to do good. He needs to.
Shaking himself away from the chilling voice, he shoots again. Having too much force in his feet, he slips, and lands on the side of his thigh.
“Ah—fuck.”
There’s an aching pain growing there now, a sample of what happens to someone who’s let themselves go.
Jeongguk tries not to cry—can’t afford to. It’ll just be a waste of time if he does.
Sucking it in, and pushing it furthest down to the point his gut feels heavy, Jeongguk resumes.
He’s so unaware of everything when he’s about to go again, so deep in his head that when he feels a sudden grip into his shoulder, he roughly pulls it away.
Jeongguk looks behind him, Taehyung staring at him with widened eyes, and a parted mouth.
“Get the fuck off me!” Jeongguk screams in warning—afraid the ticking clock will start in his head, reminding him that he’s running out of time.
“What the fuck are you doing?!”
“Leave!”
Taehyung tries to pull him again, and Jeongguk shoves him. “Don’t fucking touch me! Leave!”
“Jeongguk.”
“Leave! Leave me the fuck alone!”
Taehyung bites back, resistant in going. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck you’re doing!”
Jeongguk grits his teeth, and spits harshly. “You wouldn’t get it! Leave!”
Taehyung doesn’t. He stays put, and Jeongguk’s blood boils—it boils worse than it did that night, at New Year’s.
“Jeongguk.”
Fuck this.
Jeongguk turns his back to him, continuing to shoot, to use his body like it’s worthless, like nothing matters anymore.
The ball lands in the net, and then Jeongguk feels a harsh grip to his bicep. Taehyung’s pulling him close—too close for his own liking, enough for him to feel the hot, angry breath he carries.
“Seriously! What the fuck?! What the fuck are you doing, Jeongguk?!”
He tries to break free, irritated to the brim that Taehyung’s got a hold on him, a hold that refrains him from moving—from getting rid of the voices that have haunted him all afternoon.
“Let fucking go!”
“Je—”
“I’m just practicing for tomorrow! Let me! Let me practice—”
Taehyung scoffs bitterly. “Practicing?! You’re shaking!”
“It’s nothing—leave me alone.” Jeongguk tries to move again, aching to grab the ball that’s hidden in the net, but Taehyung isn’t allowing him to.
“Why the fuck are you doing this? Have you learned nothing?!”
Jeongguk blinks.
“You don’t get it.”
Taehyung sucks in a breath. “Jeongguk.”
“No! No—you don’t fucking get it, Taehyung!”
He frowns, voice still laced in anger. “What the fuck don’t I get?!”
“I—” Jeongguk grabs Taehyung’s wrist, and pushes away his hand. “You just don’t!”
“Tell me! Tell me what the fuck I don’t get.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, tries to run towards the net but Taehyung catches up with him, blocking him.
“Move.”
“Jeongguk.”
“Move!” He’s terrified now, by how angry he is, by how much he’s shaking, thrumming with it.
“N—”
Fuck it.
“You don’t—you don’t get it! You—I can’t fail! Okay?! I can’t afford to fail.”
Taehyung’s expression changes in an instant. “J—”
“So get the fuck out of my way!”
Silence wraps around them when Jeongguk walks forward again, blocked by Taehyung whose arms lock him down, unwilling to let him move any further.
“Jeongguk—Jeongguk stop!”
Jeongguk tries to break free, groans when he realizes his body is already too sore, worn out from everything, which gives Taehyung a better opportunity to keep him still—still enough to make him fail.
Fuck.
Fuck. He needs to—he needs to move.
Jeongguk doesn’t even know what he looks like right now, but with the way Taehyung stares at him, it’s telling enough.
He looks like fucking shit. He looks like a mess, a mess he’ll never outgrow.
“Hey! Hey, stop! Jeongguk—” Taehyung huffs when Jeongguk becomes too restless. “You’re not going to fail!”
None of the words reach him, instead they make Jeongguk feel worse, the anger only growing stronger.
“Stop! Stop fucking lying—”
Taehyung holds his arms tighter. “I’m not! I’m not fucking lying!”
“You are—you’re—you…” Jeongguk looks away, not wanting to look at the expression written across Taehyung’s face that tells him otherwise.
This is just another trick. He can’t—he can’t mean—
“You’re not going to fail! You were never going to fail! Why don’t you get it?!”
Jeongguk sucks in a breath. “I—I just can’t…” His voice is low now, deeply rooted in shame over his state.
“Yes, you can. You can.”
It’s so hard to believe. It’s so hard to believe when it’s said by Taehyung of all people. He’ll never understand, he’ll never truly understand.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jeongguk’s already given up in resisting Taehyung’s hold, but it doesn’t disappear, it only turns slightly softer.
“Jeongguk.”
“So just—stop. Whatever you’re doing, stop.”
He’s just about to walk away, wanting to be far away from Taehyung—specifically everything he’s saying but he doesn’t get too far because the grip tightens again, Taehyung’s fingers digging into Jeongguk’s skin.
Jeongguk looks at him, raising a fist in the air with the last force he carries, willing to punch him to make it all stop—to get rid of Taehyung’s burning touch.
He’s just about to, mere inches away from painting Taehyung’s face in a dirty red—
“You’re good enough, okay?! You’ve always been. You’re the best player on our fucking team. That's how I know. You’ve always been—”
Everything goes blank. Every bad thought disappears, the darkness no longer clouding Jeongguk’s brain, and just as he’s about to take a proper breath, Taehyung screams in irritation.
“You’ve always been fucking good enough, Jeongguk. So just—so just stop! Stop whatever you’r—”
Not an ounce of Jeongguk thinks when he lurches forward, grabbing Taehyung by the hair roughly, and crashing their lips together.
Fuck.
Fuck.
There’s no going back.
Taehyung immediately pushes forward, deepening the kiss, opening wider for Jeongguk to taste every inch of his mouth. His tongue is soft against his, swallowing him whole while his hands move to Jeongguk’s lower back, pulling him closer to him, so much the fabric folds inside his palms.
Jeongguk is no better, he’s taking it all, taking every taste, every corner, everything he can. He takes it all until his tongue feels the edges of Taehyung’s words.
You’re good enough.
Of course you’re good enough.
There’s so much desperation, Jeongguk never wanting to let go. He just keeps tugging Taehyung by the hair, the undercut tickling his fingertips.
“Fuck—”
Jeongguk barely registers it, all of it too intense, too much.
Yet nothing makes him pull away, he keeps kissing Taehyung, keeps tracing the edges of his soft lips, keeps curling his tongue against his—
Shit.
It’s so messy.
Jeongguk’s touch is rough everywhere, on Taehyung’s back, in his hair, and all it does is make Taehyung crave for more. His hands travel beneath Jeongguk’s soaked shirt, kneading the soft skin, thumb grazing over Jeongguk's ribcage.
Fuck—
This is bad. This isn’t good—
Jeongguk pushes Taehyung away, the blaring red alarm ringing inside his head over what he’s just done.
Holy shit.
What the fuck did he just do.
Taehyung’s staring at him, widened eyes, and spit slicked lips. They’re shining in the moonlight, and Jeongguk has an urge to taste them again, feel the softness against his own pair but he shouldn’t.
Shit.
This was stupid.
“J—”
“Don’t. Don’t say a fucking word.”
Jeongguk holds a hand over his mouth, and starts running, leaving Taehyung out there on the field.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Notes:
Chapter 17
Notes:
*everyone freaking out over last chapter*
ktg!jk: they're... shipping us.
ktg!th: i know 😐
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jeongguk’s going through it.
He doesn’t know for how long—but long enough for him to catch his alarm ringing loudly in his ear.
Shit.
He’s been up all night, doing nothing but stare at the ceiling hoping it’ll somehow solve what he did.
He can’t believe he kissed—
God.
What was he thinking?!
You weren’t thinking.
Jeongguk groans in irritation, and gets up from his bed. He rubs his face down, including his lips that still feel sore, a reminder of how much he’d—
No.
Absolutely not.
Shaking his head, he moves around his room, grabbing his duffel bag that he had packed way too fast—anything to rid himself of his past actions that seem to cling to him painfully.
They’re too intense, too out there, and Jeongguk’s fucking losing it.
When he walks out of his room, he doesn’t expect anyone to be awake, and therefore tries his best not to be too loud when he sneaks into the kitchen to grab some water, and the breakfast Ryu had made for him the night before.
The minute he closes the fridge, and turns around, he’s shocked to see Jackson lounging on the chair beside the couch, computer on his lap, and glasses adorning his face.
“Uh—”
Jackson looks up. “Hey, sorry, can’t sleep.”
“Ah.”
“Where are you going?”
Jeongguk steals a glance at his phone, scared he’ll be late. “Central station. We have a bus to Busan at six.”
“Oh yeah, your first away game. You told me about that. I remember now.” Jackson hums. “Good luck, text me if there’s anything.”
Jeongguk nods. “Okay, yeah sure. Thanks, hyung.”
Stepping into the hallway to put on his shoes, Jeongguk’s grateful Jackson hasn’t questioned why he’s leaving an hour earlier than needed.
Truthfully, Jeongguk doesn’t want to see Taehyung, would rather avoid it for as long as he can before he’s stuck on a bus with someone he’d—
Fuck.
Jeongguk takes the longest detour to arrive at the Central Station of Seoul at a proper time, and to avoid Coach Lee staring at him like he’s grown two heads for showing up too early.
Almost everyone is there when Jeongguk joins his teammates, Mingyu greeting him with a wide yawn and a small wave from a distance.
“Hey, good morning.”
Soohyun raises his chin. “Hey, Guk. How’d you sleep?”
“Uh…” I didn’t. “I could use a little more.”
Soohyun nods. “Nah, same. I’m fucking beat. I forgot how tough away games were…”
Mingyu hums. “Tell me about it. I feel like if I don’t move a muscle, I could sleep standing up.”
Jeongguk snorts. “I’d love to see that.”
Seokjin, and Yoongi are the next to arrive, alongside Hoseok.
Instantly, Hoseok runs up to Jeongguk.
“Jeonggukie!”
Hoseok doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and drag him forward into a warm hug.
“H-hyung. Holy shit, why do you have so much energy?” Jeongguk groans against Hoseok’s hoodie.
“It’s a big day!”
“We’re not even playing today.”
Hoseok shakes his head. “Not that.” He glances towards Yoongi, and Seokjin who are in the middle of giggling over something.
“Hm?”
His teammate pouts. “They’re going to tell everyone.”
Instantly, Jeongguk widens his eyes. “Really?”
Hoseok nods. “Yeah, big day indeed!”
Mingyu, and Soohyun snooze against each other while they wait for the rest, and Hoseok goes into a tangent about Tequila being able to kill the bacterias when you’re sick.
Coach Lee, and Jihoon are just about to shout to gain everyone’s attention when Taehyung, and Jimin join the group, arriving exactly on the dot.
“Taehyung, Jimin, nice to see you guys making it.”
Taehyung winces while Jimin seems annoyed. “Sorry, coach.”
“Now, we’ll be driving to Busan, and it’ll take us around four hours. The bus stops at the hotel we’ll be staying at, there you will get your assigned rooms. After you’ve all settled in, Jihoon and I are taking you out for lunch. Alright, Reds, let’s get going.”
Everyone moves around while the driver, Mr. Choi smokes a cigarette by the pole of the bus station.
Jeongguk is just about to place his duffel bag down when Taehyung takes the spot, fully ignoring his presence as he shoves it down to tightly fit with the others.
“Yo what the f—”
Taehyung walks away before he can even finish cursing, baffling Jeongguk.
What the fuck.
Jeongguk tongues his cheek in annoyance, disregarding what just happened to properly take care of his own bag before moving inside the bus, and finding a spot.
Earphones plugged into his phone, and a neck pillow adorning his neck, Jeongguk sits by the window. Hoseok joins him, feeding him some snacks when they take off, and allowing him to sleep throughout the whole ride once he notices how baggy his eyes are.
Jeongguk gets woken up by a solid shake to his shoulder.
He squints his eyes, the tiredness latching on despite him catching a solid few hours of sleep, and notices Hoseok staring at him.
“Come on, we gotta go. Everyone’s waiting for us.”
Ignoring the small sprout of hair he probably has sticking up, Jeongguk gets up from his seat, and follows Hoseok out.
Coach Lee sighs in relief when he notices them, signaling them all to move towards the lobby as soon as they’ve all grabbed their bags from Mr. Choi’s bus to receive their assigned rooms for the next two days.
As they wait for the keycards, Hoseok tries to rub down Jeongguk’s bed hair.
“You seemed pretty out of it, are you okay?”
“Mhm fine,” Jeongguk mumbles.
“Alright, Reds. Here are the following rooms…” As Coach Lee lists them, Jeongguk spaces out, the lack of sleep really getting to him now by catching a few hours on the bus. He’s so out of it he’s barely able to hear his own roommates for this trip, and therefore he’s a bit surprised when Namjoon and Yoongi walk towards him.
“Hey, kiddo, you okay there?”
Jeongguk finally snaps out of it. “Hm?”
“You look fucking dead.” Yoongi notes with an honest tone. Namjoon nods in agreement but remains quiet.
“Uh…Yeah, no no, I’m okay.” Jeongguk rubs down his eyes to adjust his sight, the view a bit blurry.
“You can skip lunch if you’re too tired. I can talk to Coach if you want,” Namjoon suggests, patting down on Jeongguk’s back when he breaks out a small yawn.
“I’ll be fine. Just need to wake up a little.”
“Okay, let’s go to our room,” Yoongi says.
They walk together to the elevator, standing alongside their teammates who are all groaning in complaint, most of them hungry.
“Where do you think Coach, and Jihoon are taking us?” Soohyun asks once they’re inside the elevator.
“No clue,” Jimin answers, sighing loudly when the silence grows as the elevator moves up to the correct floor.
It’s weird.
Jeongguk feels like someone’s watching him.
He turns to meet Taehyung’s cold glare, cold enough to cause goosebumps to rise on Jeongguk’s skin.
What the fuck is his deal?
Turning quickly back around, Jeongguk frowns, confused if he should be scared or worried by Taehyung’s behavior.
He doesn’t get to debate it for long, the elevator doors opening. Everyone steps out, Soohyun, Mingyu and Jimin heading in the opposite direction than the rest.
Hoseok, Taehyung and Seokjin trail behind, and it isn’t until Yoongi points at their door that Jeongguk realizes he’s fucking neighbors with Taehyung. Great.
It feels like the cabin trip all over again, except they hadn’t fucked yet, and Jeongguk hadn’t kissed him without a doubt in his mind.
Jesus Christ.
The door opens, and Jeongguk rushes inside, wanting to get rid of Taehyung’s intense gaze.
There’s two queen sized beds, and a single by the end. It’s accompanied by a TV on the wall with shitty channels most likely, and a view of the beach. There’s a small balcony, Yoongi grateful so he can smoke without having to go all the way down.
“We should probably pick our beds before we leave for lunch,” Yoongi says after dropping down his duffel bag onto the carpeted floor.
“Yeah. I’ll be honest, I don’t have any preference but that single seems a bit too small for my height.”
Jeongguk hums. “I don’t mind taking the single.”
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s just for two nights, who cares.”
“Alright, thanks, Jeongguk.” Yoongi smiles before moving his stuff towards one of the queen beds, Namjoon following his lead.
Meanwhile, Jeongguk just sits down on the single, realizing it’s not too bad. The mattress is a bit too firm for his liking, but it’s nothing too bothersome.
“Is it okay if I call Hector real quick? Just wanna update him on our arrival, and the hotel.”
Yoongi, and Jeongguk nod in unison.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Reminds me I should text Ryu.”
By that, Jeongguk digs after his phone in his pocket, the screen lightening up in an instant, and flashing a few messages.
from: ryuuuuu
i saw u grabbed the food i made u
hope ur okay
hyung told me u looked a bit tired before he went to bed.
to: ryuuuuu
it was good thanks ryu
i’m fine
yeah just tired. don’t worry
from: ryuuuuu
alright
hope you guys win tomorrow
text me if there's anything
to: ryuuuuu
thanks and dw i will
[seen]
“Should we head out?” Yoongi suggests when Namjoon is done talking on the phone.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
It’s not a long walk to the restaurant, but Jeongguk feels tired in his legs due to the immense hills they meet along the way. On top of that the sun is beating straight down on them, and Jeongguk regrets not changing out his black jeans for shorts.
Sweat accumulates under his shirt, his nape damp when he runs a hand through his hair—which is getting a bit too long—to tie it up into a ponytail. His bangs still stand in the way, Jeongguk mindlessly tucking them behind both ears.
They reach a restaurant, Coach Lee immediately greeting the owner. It’s then Jeongguk realizes they’re old friends by their informal tone.
“Reds, you can go inside,” Jihoon says.
The team follows his orders by stepping into the restaurant. All windows, and doors are open, the air less stuffy due to it, and Jeongguk already feels a lot better by being in shade.
When they’ve all collectively sat down, Coach Lee walks towards them with the owner beside him.
“Reds, I want you to meet a good friend of mine, Mr. Cho. He’s going to make you the best cold noodles, and tteokbokki you’ve ever tried in your life.”
Mr. Cho tries to wave off the praise with a hand in the air. “Please—he’s exaggerating.”
Everyone laughs.
“I’m really not.” Coach Lee adjusts his posture. “Now, Jihoon and I have a meeting at BNU, so take your time with lunch. We’ll meet back at the hotel before seven. Anything prior to that you’re free to roam around. I know some of you want to go to the beach, so you’ll have time for that today if that’s what you want.”
“We’ll leave you to it,” Jihoon finishes off before they both take a few steps towards the main street, and disappear from their sight.
Mr. Cho is quick on taking orders, not seeming intimidated over the fact that he has to cook for a full soccer team. Jeongguk can’t help but admire his control.
When he walks away, the team resumes their conversations. Jeongguk stays quiet, tuning in while playing with the plastic cup in front of him.
Surprisingly, Mr. Cho is quite fast, already walking out with the hot dishes, everyone mesmerized, and groaning in delight over the strong aroma of food.
There’s a good moment of silence when they eat, Jeongguk enjoying the cold noodles on a hot day.
As he chews, he catches Hoseok glaring at him in warning. Before he can question his teammates' behavior, Yoongi and Seokjin try to gain everyone’s attention.
Holy shit.
“Hey, so, Yoongi and I want to tell you guys something,” Seokjin says before sliding a hand towards his boyfriend, and intertwining their fingers.
“We’re dating!” Yoongi shouts quickly, Seokjin giggling at his nervous state.
Loud cheers fill out the small restaurant, Soohyun getting up to clap them both on the back with the biggest smile he could carry.
“Holy shit! I can’t believe it!”
Jeongguk tries to give out a reaction, not wanting anyone to question why he’s so quiet when it’s big news. He looks a bit awkward when he does it, woo-ing with two hands circling his mouth.
As Seokjin explains how it all started, Jeongguk takes another bite.
“Alright, if anyone else is involved with each other, speak now!” Soohyun says loudly, with a light tone, indicating nothing but a joke.
Jeongguk immediately chokes on his food, swallowing some of the noodles too fast, not expecting Soohyun to pull that of all things.
“You okay?” Namjoon asks beside him.
Jeongguk smiles with a stuffed mouth, raising a thumbs up in the air. “Mhm.”
While regaining his breath, Jeongguk steals a glance at Taehyung, his expression cold and unbothered.
It’s weird though. Jimin’s staring at Taehyung as if he’s bothering him but Jeongguk’s too tired to indulge in his curiosity.
Whatever.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s quiet in the locker rooms.
Jeongguk is well aware that the pressure has caught everyone like a fish on a hook, swinging them around carelessly which causes their nerves to be all over the place. He’s no better. For the past five minutes he’s spaced out while staring into his cleats, tracing out each detail of the red and black colors until his vision turns blurry.
Coach Lee’s voice manages to get him out of his trance. “Hey, Reds, just wanted to check in before the match starts.”
Soohyun tightens his fist, gulping down a lump in his throat which only worsens the nervousness in Jeongguk’s system.
“How does it look out there? Big crowd?”
For what feels like an eternity, Coach Lee doesn’t answer. Jeongguk’s hands turn more clammy, his leg bouncing uncontrollably, and then Jihoon steps forward, taking the lead.
“It’s big, but I have faith in you all. Don’t focus on the crowd, focus on each other, on proving Busan wrong. I know you can do it, I’ve seen it. We’ve never been better.”
It’s encouragement filled with honesty. It’s the way Jihoon says it. So calming, so sincere that it instantly punches the nerves out of Jeongguk’s system.
“Now, go out there, and kill it!”
Soohyun seems to do better as well, because then he slaps the locker doors, shouting the Red Devils chant that they do before every match.
Everyone joins in, even Coach Lee knowing it’ll help them cool off from the immense pressure, and the lack of support they’ll confront once they’re out there.
Jeongguk ties his hair up, pairing it with a headband to avoid any distractions, and then they walk out one by one.
Taehyung’s still quiet, not looking at Jeongguk, ignoring his presence completely and he prays internally that it won’t mess up their teamwork.
They deserve to win.
They need to win.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath as they walk down the long, grey and empty hallway. It smells of cleaning supplies, Jeongguk grimacing by the strong stench but then they’re out on the field, the fresh air of Busan slapping them in the face.
Shaking his limbs, Jeongguk closes his eyes for a second, and focuses down on what’s important.
To fucking win.
“Let’s go Reds!” Coach Lee shouts when they scatter all over the field in their rightful positions after having greeted the opposite team.
Taehyung’s toying with the hem of his shirt, a habit Jeongguk has yet to see but from the looks of it, he seems somewhat nervous.
Jeongguk can’t blame him.
Things are…weird between them after last night, and none of them seem to break the tension but here, they’re forced to do so. To win, they’ll have to cut through it, no matter what they feel.
This isn’t about them anymore. This is about their team, about proving Coach Lee right, and especially Jeongguk.
He’s going to show Coach Lee that he did it.
He’s going to prove that Taehyung can kick the goal.
The whistle blows, and then the match begins.
It’s always the first ten to fifteen minutes of a match that feel extremely long, movements not too fast, but not too slow either. A classic tactic if you may. Jeongguk’s just surprised that Busan has it as well.
Shit.
This only adds more pressure.
They’re playing with them while grinning shamelessly, and Jeongguk feels mocked.
The crowd doesn’t help either, Jeongguk trying his hardest to block out any noise that encourages his opponents.
Come on, Jeongguk.
Prove them wrong.
His inner voice is surprisingly positive today, and Jeongguk knows why, which explains why he even steals a glance at Taehyung again.
Fuck.
Focus Jeongguk.
The ball moves close to Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin are quick to act, blocking out any movement from the players who seem to want to shoot.
It causes Namjoon to gain a hold of the soccer ball, and grants the Red Devils access to a chance in getting a goal in.
Soohyun swings a hand upwards, pointing finger in the air, and then he whistles a command to get the ball. Namjoon listens, swings it with his arms rather than shooting it with his foot to give it less acceleration.
It lands perfectly by their Team Captain’s feet. Jeongguk watches Soohyun trick two players, the Busan team groaning in irritation, and a chuckle can’t help but slip out by the view.
Yeah, take that.
Jimin is next to have it, sliding smoothly past another which forces Jeongguk to start running alongside Taehyung.
They grow closer to the goal, Jimin still maintaining the ball, keeping it safe rather than shoot recklessly at Jeongguk and Taehyung who have yet to face the defense players.
Jeongguk is the first one to meet confrontation, the Busan player recklessly shoving him with a shoulder. He pulls through, ignores it as he tries to break free by asserting dominance. Jimin catches on, kicking it right towards Jeongguk.
The second it lands by his feet, Jeongguk moves. The defense player has a hard time catching up, and the moment he’s close to the net, having the goalkeeper’s eyes dead set on him, he shoots it sideways towards Taehyung that kicks it directly in without blockage.
A whistle blows by the referee, and Jeongguk loosens in his posture and allows himself to feel the pleasure of upping the score. There’s some loud boo’s from the crowd, the noise drowning out when Jeongguk feels his team jump onto him in joy, the same case for Taehyung.
Coach Lee, and Jihoon are high-fiving from the sidelines, throwing a thumbs up to Taehyung, and Jeongguk who steal a glance towards them.
For the first time, Jeongguk doesn’t feel unimportant, but he feels more a part of this team.
Taehyung was right.
He steals another glance towards him, Taehyung unaware of it, too busy running a hand through his damp hair before wiping down his chin, and forehead that’s soaked in sweat with the hem of his shirt, exposing his toned stomach.
Oh.
Another whistle blows, and then the Busan team moves, Jeongguk’s focus repositioned to where it matters.
They’re fast, Jeongguk will give them that, but they’re not the Red Devils, and they don’t have proper teamwork which makes them weak.
The ball flies past the net, and as they’re about to pick it back up, the referee whistles to call for half-time.
Jeongguk’s more tired than he thought he was, his legs half wobbly when he walks towards the locker rooms, accompanied by Yoongi.
The minute they’re inside, Jeongguk removes the headband, and loosens his long hair by pulling out the hair tie. While he’s too busy combing through his hair with the help of his fingers, Jihoon walks around them with their water bottles, urging them to drink to remain hydrated.
Jeongguk gulps it down carelessly, water spilling on his cheeks, dripping further down his chin and beneath his shirt.
“You did great out there, Reds.” Coach Lee says the moment he steps inside. “I’m really proud of you for pulling through despite the lack of support. I know it’s overwhelming, away games are never fun, but you’re showing Jihoon and I how capable you are. I’m so proud of you. Your dedication never fails to amaze me.”
The Red Devils cheer, encouraging each other for the second half of the match, and Jeongguk has never believed more in himself and his team than now.
The adrenaline level is higher than ever when the Red Devils are announced as winners.
Jeongguk feels like anything is possible now, that their team doesn’t need a supporting crowd to win because they’re the ones pushing each other to do great.
Wow .
In the locker rooms, some of the teammates sing some silly songs, splashing around with their shower gel and water from the shower heads. Jeongguk laughs the whole time, feeling lighter than ever.
While they’re getting dressed, Coach Lee and Jihoon step back inside.
“Our bus leaves tomorrow at nine in the morning. I need everyone in the lobby at eight-thirty sharp. You’re free to roam downtown if that’s what you want, but I need everyone present tomorrow, is that clear?”
“Yes, Coach,” they say in unison.
“Good.”
Jeongguk has a hard time finding a t-shirt, and instead of wasting his time by digging into the duffel bag for hours, Jeongguk covers himself in his hoodie.
The material directly against his skin feels weird, but Jeongguk ignores it when he joins the rest of his teammates outside of the stadium.
The air is colder than earlier, the sun no longer painting the sky, and the stars have never been more visible. Jeongguk looks up to admire them, always having loved how much more clear they are in Busan than in Seoul, one of the few things he finds himself missing from his hometown.
“Where should we go?” Yoongi asks. “Yo, Park, you’re from here. Any clubs, bars we could go to?”
“Yeah, there’s a bar downtown that’s pretty good. It’ll take us a good twenty minutes to walk.”
Soohyun smiles. “I don’t mind. Let’s go Reds!”
They all start to walk further down the street, but then Jeongguk feels a pull on his arm. He turns, surprised to see Jaekyung, staring at him with a saddened gaze.
“Hey, Jeongguk. Can we talk?”
Jeongguk feels suffocated suddenly by the sight of his brother, especially after last time, and what he had told him.
Words that Jeongguk no longer believes, no longer latch onto him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I saw you play.”
Jeongguk frowns in an instant. “What.”
Jaekyung’s just about to say more when Soohyun’s voice cuts them off.
“Jeongguk! You coming?”
There’s too many questions swirling inside Jeongguk’s brain, too much to the point he knows that if he walks away, it’ll only haunt him all night. While he would’ve done that in the past, Jeongguk has an urge to confront, to stand up for himself.
“I’ll catch up later! Don’t wait up!”
Jaekyung seems to be pleased by Jeongguk’s denial of his teammates' invitation. He can see it when he looks at his brother again.
“Why are you here?” Jeongguk’s tone is flat, and it seems to send Jaekyung off guard.
“I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I just—can we talk? Please?”
There’s a small part of Jeongguk that wants to, but then there’s a bigger part of him, one that’s more controlling that absolutely refuses to talk with Jaekyung again.
It’s because of last time. How negative his brother had sounded, how his words had been an exact copy of his father’s, telling him everything Jeongguk’s been haunted by ever since he left Busan to go to Seoul. He can’t have this happen again. He won’t allow it.
“No.”
Jaekyung’s head drops, the pull on Jeongguk fading due to his fingertips trembling. “Please.”
The tone is different than last time, more surrendering rather than firm, and maybe that’s why Jeongguk accepts.
“Okay. But not here.”
He’s afraid Coach Lee and Jihoon will catch him like this, and even worse one of his teammates if they’ve accidentally left behind. Jeongguk doesn’t want to take any risks. But most importantly, he doesn’t want to talk to Jaekyung in front of a place that’s now become a positive memory, one Jeongguk knows he’ll think back to when he’s older.
“Yeah, okay.”
Jaekyung starts walking towards his car, Jeongguk trailing behind with both hands inside the pocket of his gym shorts.
The expensive leather feels soft against Jeongguk’s bare legs when he sits down properly, uncertain if he should put on the seatbelt or not.
When Jaekyung joins him, silence grows tenfold.
Yeah.
This feels different than the last time.
Jaekyung turns on the car, and then he looks at Jeongguk. “Where do you wanna go?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“Okay, let’s go to the beach.”
Jeongguk takes a hold of the seatbelt as soon as the car backs out of the parking lot. Jaekyung remains silent, allowing the playlist in his car to play freely to fill out the gap of silence.
Staring outside of the window, Jeongguk feels sad suddenly. When he’s looking out, a place he used to call home, it all feels foreign now. There’s no importance to it anymore, no life. The longer he stares, the heavier the sadness gets, so Jeongguk finds it best to watch the road.
Soon, the car comes to a halt, and all Jeongguk can see is the moonlight cascaded down onto the water that’s moving gradually towards the coast.
Jaekyung turns off the engine, and then he takes a deep breath.
“You were right, Jeongguk,” he starts. “I had no right to do the whole big brother act last time we saw each other. I had no right because you’re right, I wasn’t being a good brother to you. I was being Dad—God, it sounds a lot worse to say out loud.” He winces, Jeongguk staring at him dumbly, having a hard time processing what Jaekyung is saying.
“I assumed everything based on what Dad told me—told you when you wanted to leave Busan. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve stood up for you—fuck why didn’t I stand up for you?”
Jeongguk’s eyes grow wet. He doesn’t know why but he feels like crying. Jaekyung’s expression is full of pain, regret—guilt .
Jeongguk can’t help but think why? Why now? Why?
“W-Where is this coming from? I—”
“I saw you play, Jeongguk,” Jaekyung says, staring at Jeongguk with wet eyes himself. “You look so happy. I’ve never seen you this happy.”
Jeongguk’s throat turns dry.
“If I had known how happy soccer makes you I would’ve never. Fuck. I never should’ve said—I’m so sorry. I’m such a shitty brother.” Jaekyung wipes a tear roughly, sniffing when it grows quiet again.
“Jaekyung—”
“Just. I want you to know that I support you, I support your choice. I know I’m late, and you should never forgive me for the bullshit I said back in January, but—yeah, I support you, Jeongguk. I think soccer’s where you’re supposed to be, always has been. I’m sorry it took me this long. I’m so sorry.” Jaekyung is crying now, looking away from Jeongguk, as if the sight of him is making it worse.
It’s hard to tell what exactly Jeongguk feels at this moment. His heart isn’t pounding, his nerves aren’t restless, instead he just feels like crying. Seeing his brother do it without shame, Jeongguk doesn’t hold back anymore, and allows his tears to fall. He doesn’t wipe them away with the sleeve of his hoodie, instead he watches the waves move.
The longer he stares, the more he feels at peace.
And then he hears it.
You’re good enough.
Jesus Christ.
Jeongguk turns his attention towards his brother, and without thinking any further he places his forehead on his shoulder.
“Thank you.”
It’s all he says, and it’s more than enough because soon Jaekyung’s fingers tangle through his long strands, and he holds him properly. Like a big brother should.
Jeongguk feels like a kid again.
A happy one.
It’s hard to tell how much time passes, but long enough for Jeongguk’s forehead to start aching.
When he goes back to his previous position, Jaekyung smiles at him softly.
“I’m really glad you said yes to this talk.”
Jeongguk nods in agreement. “Me too.”
There’s silence again, less heavy this time but it allows Jeongguk to collect his thoughts properly this time. There’s a lot he’s still wondering, a lot of things that are left unresolved, and now’s the time to clear the air.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
Jeongguk plays with the material of his hoodie, nerves suddenly a bit restless. “How’d you know where I live?”
Jaekyung sighs, lowering his head in shame. “Dad—he hired a guy.”
“He did what?!”
“I still don’t know why. He didn’t want to tell me when I asked.”
Jeongguk slumps in his seat. “Shit.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I took advantage of his knowledge to get to you. I was just worried sick.”
“I know.”
After finding out the truth, Jeongguk feels so much better. Sure, there’s still an explanation to it that he might never know, but at least he’s aware of most of it. It’s enough for now.
“Can I ask you something? Very unrelated.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “Okay? Sure.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
Instantly, Jeongguk widens his eyes in shock, almost swallowing his tongue in the process. “W-What?!”
Jaekyung winces. “Shit—Did I get the wrong idea?”
“What are you talking about? Where’s this even coming from?”
“One from your team was just—” Jaekyung chuckles. “Staring at me the whole time.”
Jeongguk frowns in confusion. “Who—I mean, what was he wearing?”
“Uh, I think, a snapback.”
“Oh God—” Jeongguk covers his face, groaning against his skin.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing—nothing…just...Could you drive me back to my hotel?”
“Alright, just type it here.” He hands over his phone, and Jeongguk types down the address he’s memorized by re-reading the email sent by Coach Lee before their trip.
As the car starts to move, Jaekyung glances sideways. “Okay, but seriously do you have a boyfriend?”
“Just drive the car!”
They both laugh, and Jaekyung no longer pesters Jeongguk with such questions.
The lobby is empty when Jeongguk steps inside the hotel, duffel bag slung over his upper body. The weight of it feels much lighter than when they were on their way to the stadium.
As he waits for the elevator, Jeongguk replays Jaekyung’s impression of Taehyung.
It’s weird. The staring thing.
Jeongguk can’t help but be left curious. He wonders what this is about, if it’s about the kiss or him overworking himself despite the accident that had caused this whole mess to begin with. God.
Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk steps inside the elevator, and allows the vibrating sounds from it to fill out the silence.
He doesn’t expect anyone to be at the hotel, the time not even nearing midnight but Jeongguk’s surprised to see a guy waiting by the elevator when he steps out. He’s around his age, hair a bit disheveled, lips swollen and it doesn’t take a genius to guess who this is connected to.
The stranger looks pissed off, wearing a huge frown that’s easy to catch. Jeongguk ignores how he almost knocks into him when he steps inside the elevator, eyes barely lifting from the ground.
Jeongguk is barely able to process what just happened before he sees Taehyung stepping out of the hotel room, almost as if he was waiting for his hookup to disappear from this hotel.
The moment they gain eye contact, Taehyung cringes as if he’s being caught.
He’s staring at Jeongguk as if he expects him to say something which yes, he would’ve if it had been months ago but it’s not the same anymore.
Things have somewhat changed.
So, instead of pointing out the obvious manner of Taehyung’s situation, Jeongguk decides to focus on another thing.
A thing that’s been avoided.
“We’re cool right?” Jeongguk clears his throat when he realizes half of his words don’t even make it out properly.
Taehyung blinks in confusion.
“For the team.”
“Yeah, it’s whatever, Jeon.”
Jeongguk shrugs, not expecting anything else. “Cool. Goodnight.”
He doesn’t get one back, only a small glare from Taehyung that’s hard to solve before he’s out of his sight.
What the fuck.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“My head is going to fall off, and roll into the lobby.” Hoseok groans, leaning onto Jimin that’s no better, standing up with his eyes closed. It’s pretty obvious that they’re hungover, and lacking sleep on top of that.
Jeongguk had been startled awake by his teammates at around three am due to Namjoon accidentally knocking into a corner.
“I hope I don’t throw up on the bus.”
“God, I know,” Hoseok whines. “I think I’m going to sit in the back. More room to sleep.”
Jimin nods. “Good idea.”
One by one they step onto the bus, Coach Lee crossing them off a list to assure everyone’s here, and no one is left behind.
Jeongguk is one of the last to find a spot, the only window seat available being behind Taehyung. His eyes are already closed, neck pillow around his neck. He looks pretty comfortable, and so does Jimin whose head is resting on his shoulder.
The moment Jeongguk sits down and pulls out his headphones, Taehyung shifts in front of him.
“What are you doing?” Jimin asks with an irritated tone.
Taehyung doesn’t respond, instead he gets up after grabbing all his things, and tries to move across Jimin. It’s clumsy, Taehyung almost tripping, hands quickly grabbing hold of the top of Jimin’s seat for balance. Jeongguk stares at Taehyung as if he’s grown two heads.
“I’m going in the back.”
Jimin tries to grab Taehyung’s arm to pull him back down, but he refuses. “Wha—Taehyung. Seriously, what are you doing?! You just went on a fucking tangent about how this was the best seat on the bus, and you’re not moving a musc—mphm!”
Taehyung stuffs Jimin’s mouth full with a piece of kimbap, and lightly pats his head. “Eat. You need to sober up, Minnie. I never said that.”
“What the—Taehyung?!” Jimin mumbles angrily, cheeks puffy with food.
Jeongguk proceeds to put on his earphones, figures it’s better than stare at whatever’s happening in front of him.
The second he’s put on a song, and looks out of the window, the bus starts to move.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The moment Jeongguk steps inside his apartment, Hector and Ryu run towards him, and attack him with a big hug.
“Jeonggukie!”
“You’re home!”
He slaps them lightly on the back, signaling them both that they’re hugging him too tight but they don’t bother removing themselves, proving further to Jeongguk how much he’s been missed.
The feeling blooms in Jeongguk’s chest.
“Okay, seriously, I can’t—breathe.”
“Sorry!” Ryu is quick to let go, along with Hector who’s wincing in apology.
“How was your trip? Did you guys see anything? Oh my god, did you guys go to the beach? I saw the weather was crazy in Busan on the news.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “Since when do you watch the news?”
Ryu rolls his eyes. “Since my roommate was out of town, and barely texted me!”
“Sorry, I got really busy. But it was good. We went to the beach, yeah. Yoongi-hyung got sunburnt,” Jeongguk chuckles, remembering how Seokjin had to help apply some aloe vera gel to cool off the burn on his back.
“Oh shit,” Ryu cringes, not too fond of tanning as he himself gets really bad burns despite tons of layers of sunscreen. “I’m doing some laundry, by the way, need me to bring anything with me?”
Jeongguk nods, and places down the duffel bag near the couch. “That’d be great. I need my uniform for practice next week.”
Ryu grabs the red and black set, and adds it to the laundry basket that’s filled to the brim by the hallway. “Alright, I’ll be back later. There’s some leftovers from yesterday in the fridge if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks.”
The moment Ryu leaves, Jeongguk crashes onto the couch, the trip in the bus tiring him out somehow. There was a lack of air conditioning, and the smell of heat was getting worse by the minute. Jeongguk’s surprised he hasn’t gained a headache.
Hector joins him, and starts fiddling with Jeongguk’s long strands of hair. “Your hair has grown out a lot.”
“Yeah, it’s actually kinda annoying now that it’s getting warmer.” Jeongguk blows on a piece of hair that falls forward and blocks his vision.
“I could cut it for you if you want, make it shorter,” Hector offers which surprises Jeongguk.
“Since when are you confident in cutting hair?”
Hector chuckles. “I cut my mom’s hair all the time. It’s so easy.”
“Huh…okay, sure. Why not?”
They both get up from the couch, Hector disappearing inside his room to grab the right pair of scissors and hair clips, and Jeongguk takes the time in removing his shirt, not wanting hair everywhere.
Jeongguk grabs a chair from the dining table, and leans across the sink while Hector rummages through his things.
He grabs the shower head, turning it on to make Jeongguk’s hair wet.
Drying it a bit in the towel, Hector brushes through it, the ends a bit tangled which causes Jeongguk to whine in pain.
“Sorry—”
“You’re good.”
After putting on some hair clips to divide Jeongguk’s hair into sections, Hector grabs the pair of scissors.
“So, what are we thinking?”
Usually Jeongguk would cut his hair extremely short, even get his sides trimmed down with clippers.
But he’s grown quite fond of his long hair despite it being annoying. He likes running his hands through it, tying it up with a hair tie, and making use of the headband he bought months ago.
“I don’t know, but I really like my long hair, so maybe just cut it a little bit?”
Hector ponders. “Hmm, what about a wolf cut? Your hair will still be shoulder length, but your bangs are gonna be a bit shorter.”
“Okay, sure, go for it.”
“Alright.”
As Hector concentrates on cutting, Jeongguk tells him about the trip to Busan, and the match altogether.
“Joonie told me Seokjin, and Yoongi announced their relationship.”
“Yeah, yeah they did.”
“Now we know who got busy at the cabin,” Hector jokes, and Jeongguk laughs awkwardly.
“Ha…right.”
Memories start to cloud his brain, vivid images of Taehyung fucking him open with a snapback, covered in sweat, and staring at him with a knowing grin. Shit.
“When’s your next away game?”
The question snaps Jeongguk out of it.
“It’s in two weeks, in Anyang.”
Hector raises an eyebrow. “Have you been there before?”
“No, have you?”
His roommate shakes his head. “I’ve heard it’s a great city though, I’m sure you’ll have fun.”
“Yeah, I hope so too.”
When Hector moves around to cut Jeongguk’s bangs, it grows quiet between them, his roommate concentrating hard to not fuck it up. Jeongguk appreciates it.
After the last snip, Hector puts away the scissors, and orders Jeongguk to go shower to get rid of the small hairs that decorate his shoulders.
Under the shower, Jeongguk tries to take a deep breath, annoyed that his mind would even remind him of what had happened between him and Taehyung at Hoseok’s cabin.
Wrapped in only a towel, and stepped fully out of the shower, Hector joins him again in the bathroom, and styles his hair.
The first thing Jeongguk notices is how his hair somewhat curls now due to the semi-long length. It’s still long enough for a hair tie, Jeongguk tests it out when he runs both hands through it and tightens it in the back. His bangs are a perfect length, not too long to the point it pokes at his eyes, but enough to make them proper.
“Wow, I love it.”
“Really?” Hector's eyes soften by the compliment. “It’s my first time giving a wolf cut.”
“What?!” Jeongguk widens his eyes. “You’re fucking with me.”
“I swear!”
Jeongguk takes another glance at his hair. “Well, I’d definitely recommend you then.”
Hector waves him off. “Shut up.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“How was practice?” Ryu asks once they’ve stepped outside of the apartment.
“It was…weird,” Jeongguk admits.
“Weird? Why weird?”
There’s a beat of silence, Jeongguk wondering where to go about this. Ryu looks at him as if he’s ready to receive anything, and it seems to do the trick.
“Kim just—I don’t know, acted weird around me.”
Ryu hums. “What did he do?”
“He’s—I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Isn’t that normal for you two?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “It used to be but then the whole helping thing happened…”
“Ah. Right.” Ryu slows down in his steps. “Maybe he feels like he doesn’t need help anymore, and now things are just back to normal.”
It would make sense, but it’s somewhat contradicting everything that happened before their trip to Busan. It especially contradicts Taehyung’s behavior. Jeongguk doesn’t want to dwell on it any longer, and doesn't have time for it, so he changes the topic.
“Maybe. Which movie was it again?”
Ryu’s eyes light up. “Officer Black Belt.”
“So…action?”
His roommate nods. “And Jiminie’s been wanting to watch it as well so I figured we could make it into a movie night.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
Jeongguk doesn’t really have interest in the movie, but his nerves have been all over the place since Jihoon had assigned him to a therapist. The thought of attending therapy in a few days is overwhelming and scary to the point Jeongguk felt the need for a breather.
Watching a movie is the perfect way to do so.
They finally arrive at their front door, Ryu not hesitating to ring the doorbell.
Soon, Jimin opens the door, and welcomes them in.
Jeongguk is surprised to see Taehyung lounging around in their living room, nose deep into his phone, completely unaware of him and Ryu’s presence.
It isn’t until they both occupy the couch, that Taehyung takes notice of them.
“H—”
“I gotta go,” Taehyung announces before Ryu can even greet him.
Jimin turns around, in the middle of making snacks in the kitchen. “What? Where are you going?”
Taehyung clears his throat. “Bootycall. Bye.”
“Wha—Taehyung?!”
The door slams shut, indicating he’s out of the apartment, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes over his behavior.
“You weren’t kidding,” Ryu says beside him, and Jeongguk scoffs.
“Yeah.”
Jimin shows up with two bowls, one with popcorn and the other with turtle chips. “Here—sorry about Taehyung. I have no clue what’s going on with him.”
Ryu waves it off. “It’s fine, he’ll come around again.”
“I hope so.”
Jeongguk finds it best to remain quiet.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
There’s one more day until Jeongguk has to go to therapy, and he’s done everything he can to keep himself busy before that.
He’d even joined Jackson at work earlier this week, sitting down on a barstool as his coworkers moved around, the club looking weird in the middle of the day which was a surreal experience.
And, now, he’s tagging along with Ryu to his tattoo appointment.
The last time he had set foot inside a tattoo parlor was during the first semester to get one of his tattoos remade due to it fading, and looking dull. Jori had been with him, staring in curiosity, amazed by the handcraft of the artist.
“Jeonggukie, you know you don’t have to join me, right?” Ryu says, still engulfed in shock over Jeongguk’s want to be present during a three hour long appointment.
“I know.”
Ryu squints his eyes in suspicion. “What’s going on with you? Is something bothering you?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “I’m going to therapy tomorrow.”
His roommate instantly softens. “And you’re scared?”
He nods.
“It’s okay to be scared.” Ryu comforts him by bringing him closer as they walk down the street. “I’m sure you’re gonna do great, and that your therapist is gonna be cool as fuck.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“Bullshit! Therapists can be dope as fuck!”
Ryu’s approach to the situation makes Jeongguk feel lighter in an instant. He makes it sound so easy, so much smaller than what it is, and it subsides the nerves in Jeongguk’s system.
“Thanks, Ryu.”
“No worries.”
The bell chimes when they step down, and inside the parlor. Some pop song is playing in the speakers, Jeongguk unable to recognize it.
A short woman with a pixie cut shows up in front of them. “What can I do for you?”
“I have an appointment today.”
She moves around the counter, and types something on the computer. “What’s your name?”
“Ryu.”
“Cool, I’ll be your artist today. My name’s Yura.”
“Nice to meet you. I brought my best friend with me, hope that’s okay.”
Yura nods. “Sure, no worries. I’m gonna ask you to sit on a stool on the opposite side of where I’ll be working.”
Jeongguk hums. “Yeah, no worries.”
“Sick sleeve by the way.”
“Oh—thanks, I actually got most of it done here.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah by someone named Seojoon?”
“Ah, Seojoon,” Yura nods. “He actually moved elsewhere a month ago.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, this place wasn’t really practical for him after he moved in with his girlfriend who lives on the opposite side of town.”
Jeongguk hums. “Yeah, makes sense. Thanks for telling me.”
“Sure, no worries. Alright, Ryu, let’s look at what you want done.”
As they both talk about Ryu’s upcoming tattoo, Jeongguk takes a moment to look around, noticing some framed pictures of famous actors who’ve gotten their work done here. Jeongguk’s impressed by the popularity this tattoo parlor has seemed to gain.
It’s quite small, only three artists available, two of them busy. One seems to be almost done, Jeongguk spotting the butterfly on a girl’s forearm.
After Ryu gets the stencil on his leg, he’s propped up on the chair. Yura prepares her tattoo gun, and Jeongguk finally sits down on the stool.
He’s getting an open mouth of a sort, one that seems inhuman and more dangerous with the pointy canines. Jeongguk thinks it looks sick, and exactly the kind Ryu goes for.
The buzz of the tattoo gun fills the silence, Ryu closing his eyes and concentrating on his breathing, pain tolerance not as high as Jeongguk’s own.
While he scrolls mindlessly on his phone, the bell chimes, and Jeongguk cranes his neck in curiosity.
“Hey, what can I do for you today?” A guy asks, stealing a glance towards the entrance even though he’s busy working on a customer's tattoo.
Taehyung’s just about to open his mouth when he spots Jeongguk beside Ryu.
“I’m—I’m here to reschedule.”
The guy stares at him weirdly. “Y’know you could’ve just called right?”
Taehyung clears his throat. “Yeah, sorry, I realized I didn’t have time for it on my way here.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes calling bullshit. There’s no way this isn’t about him.
“Alright, give me a second.”
Taehyung occupies himself with his phone as he waits, and Jeongguk focuses on Ryu’s tattoo coming to life instead.
As soon as the tattoo artist helps out Taehyung, he’s out of sight.
“Was that Taehyung?” Ryu asks, opening his eyes while Yura runs off to find more paper towels.
“Mhm.”
“Huh.”
Jeongguk’s blank, unaware what to do or what to say when it comes to this situation so he leaves it be. He has more important stuff to take care of right now.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The waiting room is pale white, a copy of Jeongguk’s own skin color as he waits for his turn. His leg hasn’t stopped bouncing, and his fingers keep tugging the hem of his t-shirt. He’s a mess, terrified and then it all stops when a woman walks out of her room, and smiles at him.
“Jeon Jeongguk? Come on in.”
Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk gets up, and follows her into the room.
There’s no going back now.
Notes:
ktg!jk: *breathes*
ktg!th: i'm out 🏃♂️💨
Chapter Text
There’s something wrong.
Deeply, fucking wrong.
He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, he just knows it’s not normal. Nothing about what’s been going on the past month is normal.
His leg starts bouncing uncontrollably beneath the kitchen island, hands formed into fists as he tries his hardest to think of anything else but that goddamn k—
Fucking hell. What the fuck.
Mind insistent on replaying it, he’s forced to see—hell even feel it all again. The roughness, hands gripping him, the fucking taste of—
“Taehyung. Tae? Hello?! Bro—”
Snapping himself out of it, Taehyung catches Jimin’s annoyed expression.
“What.”
“Okay, cut the shit. What’s with you?”
Taehyung clears his throat when he notices his mouth has been hanging half open for— God knows how long—while adjusting his snapback. “What. There’s nothing.”
Jimin doesn’t believe a word, squinting his eyes in suspicion but chooses to remain silent. For a second, Taehyung believes he’s letting it go but then his best friend speaks.
“Hm. Okay. If there really isn’t anything wrong, Mr. Big Guy, then you’re coming with me to Itaewon.”
Shit. He can’t go out. Not when he’s like this, not when—
“Taehyung.”
“I—I can’t go, I’m…” Taehyung fakes a yawn. “I’m so tired.”
Jimin scoffs, spotting the fake act from a mile away. “Yeah. Okay.”
Instead of walking away and leaving Taehyung be, Jimin sits down in front of him, and begins to stare at him intensely.
“Uh…What are you doing?”
His roommate smiles at him with pure evil. “I’m just waiting for you to tell me why you’ve been acting like a fucking idiot.”
Taehyung gulps.
It’s not that he can’t tell Jimin, he could, but he’s too embarrassed about it.
Embarrassed to the point he’ll do anything to avoid anything in relation to it.
And maybe a night out will do him good. Maybe it’ll fix whatever’s been happening these past few days. Maybe he’s just having an episode of some sort. Yeah.
Yeah maybe it’s nothing too bad.
“Let’s go out.”
Jimin cheers. “There he is!”
Itaewon is packed to the brim. The streets are barely visible, too many people wandering back and forth, trying to find the perfect spot to settle. Thankfully that’s not the case for Taehyung and Jimin, his best friend knowing exactly where they’re going.
The line is long in front of the gay bar, but Taehyung had seen it coming due to them missing the open slot where no one’s going out yet. They’re usually more practical than this, but this seems like a last minute plan. Taehyung wonders why Jimin thinks this of all things will work like a charm.
Willing to do anything , Taehyung believes this night out will fix everything. It has to, right?
So far, he’s doing a great job. He hasn’t thought once about Jeongguk or his lips or—
Shit . He’s doing it again.
“You good? You keep spacing out on me.”
“Yeah, just excited to see who I’m bringing home tonight.”
Jimin cringes. “Please don’t do it on our couch again.”
Taehyung grins. “Can’t promise anything.”
“You disgust me.”
“Aw, I love you too, Minnie,” Taehyung says, kissing him on the top of his head despite the resistance, and annoying banter Jimin throws out there.
The line turns smaller, the entrance coming into view from where they stand which sends Jimin hope that they’ll be able to squeeze in amongst the first five hundred before the queue gets shut down by security guards.
Taehyung’s too busy scrolling on his phone to notice Jimin glaring at him. It isn’t until he feels a punch to his arm that he glances towards where his best friend's eyes are directed.
It’s a man staring at them—specifically Taehyung. He’s wearing a crop top which showcases his well-built biceps on display and, yeah, he’s hot . Taehyung feels his interest rise further when the stranger brings the cigarette to his lips, and sucks eagerly while maintaining eye contact. He’s definitely someone Taehyung would go for, but then his brain shuts down when he tries to take a step forward.
What the fuck.
Jimin doesn’t seem to notice how Taehyung doesn’t approach him with a classic pick up line that’ll bring them back to the apartment because they’re granted access.
In an instant, Taehyung’s skin grows hot, the air humid and heavier than outside where a slight breeze had kept them company.
Jimin doesn’t seem as affected, he’s rather excited, dragging them further inside while Taehyung tries to fan himself to prevent from suffocating.
As they reach the bar, Jimin leans across the wooden counter, uncaring that it’s sticky with spilled liquor, and orders them two vodka shots.
Taehyung takes a deep breath before downing the liquor, the burn insistently staying in his throat. He tries not to choke, especially in front of Jimin who drinks like a fucking pro.
“Let’s go dance!”
“Yeah!”
Jimin finds a spot that’s not too tight by the stage, the music a lot louder than when they had stood at the bar. Taehyung ignores it, and starts dancing.
He closes his eyes as he moves his hips, the strobe lights growing stronger the more the beat does which slightly irritates his vision.
Jimin’s better than him, disregarding it as he dances. Taehyung feels the beat in his throat, the vibrations violent where they stand that it’s distracting him from really sinking into it, and having fun like usual.
His best friend doesn’t seem to notice, too busy staring at a guy from afar who’s caught his interest, and who really can’t seem to look away. Jimin doesn’t move just yet, and Taehyung knows he needs a push.
“It’s okay. Go!” Taehyung shouts in his ear, hoping it reaches him.
Jimin frowns. “Are you sure?!”
Taehyung nods.
It takes a solid minute before Jimin finally moves, and disappears within the crowd. Taehyung knows it’s because he doesn’t want to leave him on his own like this, but he needs it.
Now’s the perfect time to find someone himself.
He tries to see if he can spot the guy from earlier, the tank top he wore and his bulging biceps easy to spot for someone like Taehyung.
Upper body following the beat, Taehyung scans the crowd, most of the guys on the dance floor already busying themselves by groping one another, and tasting each other's tongues.
Hm.
The moment the lights change color, Taehyung swears he sees him.
What the actual fuck.
Taehyung’s mouth hangs open as he watches Jeongguk dance with someone, gripped tight by the stranger, inches away from kissing him, and then Taehyung blinks.
Jeongguk disappears just as fast, as if he was never there, because now in his spot there’s another stranger, one that looks nothing like him.
Frightened by what had just happened, Taehyung gets off the dance floor, in dire need of another drink—anything really.
When he walks over to the bar top, he slaps himself in the face, trying to snap out of it.
God, what is happening?! What is happening to him?!
“What can I get you?”
“Uh, two shots of vodka.”
After paying the bartender, Taehyung sucks in a breath, and downs them like it’s the cure to forget whatever just happened on that dance floor.
It had to be the lights, the strobe effect was quite different from the last time he, and Jimin had spent some time here.
That has to be it.
Taehyung’s unable to think further as to why because then he feels eyes on him.
It’s coming from the corner of the bar, and as Taehyung rubs down his temples to remove Jeongguk from his mind, he catches sight of the stranger who can’t seem to keep his eyes away.
Returning his gaze blankly and without thinking, Taehyung spits harshly. “What.”
The guy immediately scoffs, and takes his drink to leave, offended by such a reaction. It’s then it clicks for Taehyung that he’s the cause for it.
Shit.
What’s wrong with him?!
“I mean—” Taehyung clears his throat, and changes his posture. “Sup.”
It doesn’t seem to do the trick, the stranger walking past him, and continuing his hunt for a hookup elsewhere.
Fuck. Fuck why did he do that?!
Before letting the thoughts consume him too much, Taehyung catches the attention of the same bartender, and orders another two shots.
He knows alcohol won’t fix it, but at least it’ll wipe off his embarrassment for now.
Feeling less shitty, and more drunk, Taehyung adjusts his snapback, ready to get back out there.
He’s fine.
He got this.
Whatever just happened was dumb either way, and that guy wasn’t even his type so it’s fine .
Nothing’s wrong.
Absolutely not.
Confident, he takes a step towards the dance floor only to stop when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Usually he doesn’t check it when he’s out, and having fun but it might be Jimin. It’s the only reason why he even brings it out, and takes a moment to stare at his notifications.
After reading the latest message, Taehyung immediately regrets it.
from: minjun
u wanna come over tonight?
or do u still have ur “problem”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Not now—please God, not now.
Shoving his phone back down in its pocket, Taehyung tries his hardest to forget the reminder.
The reminder to this whole mess—to everything that’s been happening lately.
This is bad.
This is really fucking bad.
God .
Turning back around, Taehyung catches sight of the bartender not seeming too occupied. He knows it’s a bad idea when he orders two more shots, but the embarrassment has clung itself so tightly to him that even by pulling his damp t-shirt, it does nothing in getting rid of it.
He’s already slobbish in his movements, his weight feeling lighter but his brain isn’t even half affected as much as he wants it to.
You’re really losing it, huh.
Taehyung shuts it down, and takes the first shot.
Dude, you’re fucking stupid.
“Shut up,” he mumbles to himself, swinging down another shot, his conscience now unable to reach him.
When he steals a glance at the dance floor, he’s surprised that Jimin is nowhere to be seen. Taehyung grows worried, pulling out his phone even though he can’t feel his fingertips. He blinks his eyes repeatedly as he tries to focus on the screen to shoot him a text to ensure everything’s fine.
He’s just about to click on a letter with a numb finger when he feels a tug to his shoulder.
“Oh—Minnie!” Taehyung’s smile widens. “You’re here!”
Jimin’s eyebrows scrunch, probably able to smell the vodka on his breath. “And you’re drunk.”
“Pff—I’m not drunk,” Taehyung slurs trying to stand up straight to prove a point but fails, and ends up stumbling onto his best friend.
“Alright, let’s go home.”
“Wait—what about…Mr. Sexy pants?”
Jimin grins with an eye roll. “Bad kisser. Let’s go.”
Taehyung tries to hold him back. “Hey! Bad kissers can be good in bed!”
“Uh huh,” Jimin says, pulling Taehyung’s arm over him, impatient in getting out of here.
“I’m serious! A girl I hooked up with was a horrible kisser but she gave the best head.”
Jimin cringes. “Oh boy…”
“I mean it! You could’ve gotten your dick sucked.”
“Taehyung.”
“At least one of us would’ve gotten lucky…” Taehyung’s unaware of what he’s saying, feeling himself reach a blackout the moment they step onto the sidewalk in Itaewon.
“You’re so… heavy,” Jimin groans in complaint, his grip around Taehyung loosening here and there as they walk towards home.
“M’not drunk! I can walk fine by myself!”
“No, you fucking can’t! You’ll eat shit if I let you go—seriously how much did you drink? You never get this drunk, especially not when we have a game next weekend.”
Taehyung shrugs having lost count after the second shot. “Vodka is great. Good stuff. Very good stuff.”
He doesn’t even know what he’s saying, alcohol completely taking over. Taehyung’s fully aware that whatever happens now he’ll likely forget tomorrow.
For what feels like forever Taehyung’s doing nothing but walk alongside Jimin, ignorant to everything around them—all of it looking like blotches of light either way.
God, he’s so fucking out of it.
As they step onto the hill right before their apartment complex comes into view, Taehyung spots Jeongguk.
“Jeonggukie!” He screams, and runs forward, Jimin’s hold unable to stop him.
Jeongguk’s already on the ground, and Taehyung joins him, hugging him without a single care in the world.
His skin feels a bit funny, too hard for it to be considered normal but Taehyung doesn’t care.
“Taehyung, what the fuck are you doing?!” Jimin’s trying to make him let go of Jeongguk, and Taehyung whines in protest.
“My Jeonggukie!” Taehyung hugs him tighter. “My little Jeonggukie!”
“J-What?! What the actual fuck—Taehyung, let go!”
“B-But Jeonggukie…” Taehyung feels his eyes start to water, a pout pulling itself free on his lips. “Jeonggukie…”
“Huh?!” Jimin shouts with a perplexed expression while pulling in Taehyung’s arm, urging him to get up. “Come on, let’s—let’s go home.”
“Jeonggukie…” Taehyung whines when he’s pulled away. “My Jeonggukie!”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jimin curses under his breath, dragging Taehyung away before everything turns black.
Taehyung feels like his head is about to fall off.
He’s barely moved an inch in his bed when the door flings open.
“Oh, great, you’re finally up.”
Taehyung makes a noise to tell Jimin otherwise, but his roommate is set on staying.
“What was that? Last night? Since when do you leave the club without bringing anyone home? I left you for two fucking hours when it usually takes you five minutes to go home with someone—”
Taehyung tries to open his mouth to protest, but Jimin keeps going.
“And you were drunk on vodka, since when do you drink so much of that shit?! And when we have a fucking game next weekend?! I wanted you to loosen up, not almost eat shit twice on our way home. No, seriously you could barely fucking stand, Taehyung. You had me worried sick, and then suddenly you’re fucking whining about Jeongguk and—”
Instantly, Taehyung sits up. “What.”
Jimin crosses his arms. “What?”
“I—what did you just say?”
“You—” Jimin turns around, and crouches down to dig inside Taehyung’s duffel bag.
“What are you doing?” Taehyung asks, voice groggy due to extreme dryness from the alcohol yesterday, and lack of hydration.
Jimin shoves a soccer ball in front of Taehyung’s face. “What’s this? Do you know what this is? Does this remind you of anything?”
Taehyung sighs, annoyed that Jimin thinks he’s that out of it. “What are you even talking about? That’s a soccer ball.”
“Well, yesterday that was apparently Jeongguk’s face and if you don’t tell me in the next five seconds what is going on, I will go ask him myself,” Jimin threatens but Taehyung’s too hungover to realize how much he means it.
“You wouldn’t.”
For a solid minute, Jimin does nothing but stare.
Taehyung’s just about to open his mouth to ask further questions about what he said yesterday when his roommate runs towards the front door.
Despite the pounding headache, and aching limbs, Taehyung falls off his bed and catches up to Jimin before he can pull the handle.
“Stop! Stop—Jimin don’t!”
“Not until you tell me what the fuck is up with you!”
Can’t run from it anymore .
Taehyung wishes he could slap his conscience.
“Okay! Okay…okay, fuck, fine. I’ll tell you everything, just—just don’t fucking move.”
Jimin remains completely still, hand still gripping onto the door handle but doesn’t move as told.
Slowly, Taehyung pulls them back into the living room, only letting go of Jimin when he assures him he won’t run off.
“So?”
Taehyung slumps himself down onto the couch, wanting it to swallow him whole.
“Uh…”
“Start from the beginning.”
The beginning.
Fuck.
“Well…” Taehyung decides to stare down at his hands instead of Jimin’s disappointed frown in not knowing something that’s clearly big. “It started at the ugly sweater themed party, the one Hobi-hyung hosted.”
Jimin’s eyes bulge out. “What?! That’s like eight months ago?!”
Taehyung sends him a cold glare.
Jimin awkwardly clears his throat. “You were saying?”
“So, at the party Namjoonie-hyung and Hector were y’know, pining for each other like they were getting paid for it. Hector surprisingly brought Jeongguk with him, and we tried to get them together but it backfired so we ended up getting stuck in Hobi-hyung’s storage room, and then we got into a fight over it—”
“Of course you did,” Jimin interrupts to say, rolling his eyes, used to it by now.
“And then I suggested that my dick could make him shut up, and then he took me up on that offer when we were in Hobi-hyung’s cabin.”
Jimin’s mouth drops. “What?!”
“What?”
“Why the fuck did you do that?! Why—”
“Why not? It was everything I wanted at that time. To manipulate him, get inside his head, to feel like I was somewhat in control over our—”
Jimin sighs. “Taehyung…”
“But clearly, that shit should’ve never happened because then Jeongguk’s body fucking shut down, and I was dragged into this bullshit of a plan where I was forced to do something I never wanted to—but the team, and—”
Taehyung tugs his hair to calm himself down, wanting this over with as fast as possible.
“And it was just a mess, Minnie, okay? I was a fucking mess. I was confronted with everything I’ve tried to avoid, and then Jeongguk suggested that we should tolerate each other because of the team and it somehow worked, but then before Busan he was acting weird again, and I went to their place to talk to him but he was out on the field, crashing the fuck out, and then he kissed me and—”
“What?!”
Shit. He slipped.
Taehyung clears his throat. “What.”
“J-Jeongguk k-kissed you?!”
“What.”
“You just—Jeongguk kissed you?!”
“What.”
“You just said—”
“What.”
Jimin grits his teeth. “Stop.”
“What.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
Jimin sighs. “Taehyung.”
And then, just as fast, the surface cracks.
“Oh God, he’s gonna kill me,” Taehyung begins to freak out, once he realizes it’s all out there. He tugs his hair again, rocking back and forth on the couch as if it’ll make things any better. “Fuck, he’s gonna kill me.”
“Oh my—Oh my fucking God. Oh my God?! You guys had se—Oh my—and Jeongguk kissed you. What the fuck?! Holy shit, what the fuc—mphm .”
Taehyung rushes to cover Jimin’s mouth with his hand.
“Are you crazy?! What if they hear us?!” He yells in a harsh whisper, not wanting the odds to grow.
“They live two floors above us,” Jimin mumbles against his skin.
“Your point?!”
“Taehyung.”
He realizes then that he’s overreacting, and it’s only making things worse. To avoid it, Taehyung lets his hand fall, and prays that Jimin won’t scream again.
“I—I really wanna talk about this with you but I have to go meet my student. Give me like…two business days to process all of— that,” Jimin shivers.
“Minnie. Don’t say a word. Please.”
“Of course I won’t. I-I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
“Mhm.”
Taehyung sits back down onto the couch, punching a pillow when he realizes how fucked everything is.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jimin wasn’t kidding when he said two days.
They’re on their way to practice, walking through campus when Jimin decides that now is the perfect time for a full on questioning.
“Okay but—how did you two even have sex? Actually, don’t answer that, I don’t wanna know. But then I just can’t help but also wonder how Jeongguk even agreed—like the same Jeongguk who’s always been too busy to date people? That Jeongguk?! Seriously, how did you even say it—actually I don’t want you to demonstrate it for me, I feel like I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you sounded like. I just—how did you do it multiple times?! You guys hate each other—okay wait no, hate sex is a thing, that must be it. Is it? Was it like a ‘let’s fuck this hate out’ kinda deal? Oh God, of course it was, or else Jeongguk would’ve never agreed to fuck you— God . I hated saying that. I really have to get used to this—but now I’m just confused over why it was such a big deal that he kissed you? Didn’t you kiss during sex? Oh my god, that’s so weird?! Taehyung you—”
Taehyung sighs. “You done?”
Jimin blinks. “I had a little more but I guess I could cut it short.”
Taehyung groans. “Fucking hell.”
None of the questions—or more like a full on tangent—get answered, Taehyung still too in over his head about it.
Even though he shared most of what had happened, he’d left out some details, too embarrassed about it.
Taehyung rarely gets embarrassed so when he finally does, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and chooses to go mute.
And while it is what he would’ve done at practice today, Coach Lee had questioned his behavior after he had blatantly ignored Jeongguk on the field last week. It’s forcing Taehyung to have to drop his earlier methods for now, and for the sake of the team—but mostly to avoid Coach Lee pulling him to the side again with a warning.
This is going to be hell, and deeply awkward.
Taehyung stretches his neck before pulling the handle on the door for the stadium.
Jimin trails behind, still pestering him with the same questions but stops the moment they step inside the locker rooms.
Everyone’s there already, changing quickly to avoid Coach Lee being disappointed before practice even starts.
“Hey guys,” Soohyun greets while tying the laces of his cleats.
“Sup’,” Taehyung says before putting down his duffel bag, and taking off his shirt.
“What should we do when we’re in Anyang? I heard they had great karaoke places.”
Seokjin laughs. “Oh yeah, they’re fucking great.”
Soohyun raises his eyebrows. “Wait, you’re from there, right?”
He nods. “Born, and raised.”
“Fuck yeah. We need to go somewhere nice after we win,” Mingyu adds with confidence, Taehyung chuckling when no one corrects him.
“I’ll find a good spot for us, don’t worry,” Seokjin says before pulling the door open, and stepping out with three others who are all ready for practice.
As Taehyung fixes his hair after removing his snapback, he spots Jeongguk concentrating on tying his own up.
He should probably say something, make Jeongguk aware that they’re fine— that he’s perfectly fine after the…that.
The moment Jeongguk checks out his small ponytail in the mirror, Taehyung goes for it.
“Is that even necessary?”
“What.”
“The hair tie.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Why do you care?”
Taehyung scoffs. “I don’t.”
“Then shut up.” Jeongguk walks away with a hardened expression, and Taehyung feels like he can finally take a proper breath.
Since when has it ever been hard for him to say something to Jeongguk?
Because it means something now.
“Shut the fuck up,” he mumbles to himself, closing his locker a bit too harshly, anger buzzing in his fingertips.
When he turns to ask Jimin if he’s ready, he’s already staring at him—or well them.
Shit.
He saw everything.
“Okay, Minnie, you need to stop doing that.”
“What?”
Taehyung sighs. “Staring.”
“Oh, right right—sorry. Still wrapping my head around it.”
This is going to be a long day.
“Let’s go. I don’t wanna face Coach’s glare by being barely on time again.”
Jimin nods, and pulls the door open, jogging towards the field with Taehyung behind him.
They make it in time, Coach Lee only delighted to see everyone’s here while Jihoon takes notes of attendance.
“Now, as you know, we have another away game this weekend, this time in Anyang. Jihoon and I will send you an email after today’s practice with all the information. Last time you all did a great job at arriving in time, I hope to see the same for Friday morning. If you have any questions about the trip, you can always come to Jihoon and I. We’re in our offices until three in the afternoon. Let’s go, Reds!”
They scatter around on the field, warming up in their legs by doing practice shots, and passes.
When Taehyung feels his blood pumping wildly, and his heart beating at a different pace, they move forward with a practice match.
Standing in his rightful spot, Taehyung pulls at the end of his shorts, airing out his thighs by pulling the material upwards, a glimpse of his tattoos making an appearance.
He feels hot, the sun beating down directly onto the field.
They’ve yet to start the match, and Taehyung takes this moment to remove the sweat that’s accumulated on his forehead, and jaw.
His abs feel a slight breeze when he lifts his shirt, and dabs down the wetness on his skin.
The moment his shirt falls back into place, the match starts.
Taehyung remains focused, feeling the scorching hot gaze from Coach Lee which adds tremendous pressure.
Ignoring the awkwardness in his state towards Jeongguk, Taehyung bites down his tongue, and concentrates on playing his position right.
Soohyun sends him the ball, Jeongguk moving upwards to Seokjin and Hoseok, trying his hardest to break free to create an open slot for a shot.
Taehyung dribbles his way through, glancing towards Jeongguk when he’s not too focused on the soccer ball.
“Kim, left!”
He listens, passing the ball to Jeongguk who gets them closer to Namjoon who’s bending in his knees, in position to grab the ball.
The pressure grows, Taehyung feels it, heavy on his shoulders but then he regains control of the ball, and he shoots.
It lands inside the net, slipping past Namjoon’s goalkeeper gloves.
“Good job, Taehyung!” Coach Lee shouts from the sidelines, the praise aiming directly at his heart. “And great assist, Jeongguk! Great teamwork you two!”
After another round, practice comes to an end.
As they collectively jog towards the locker rooms, Taehyung runs past Jeongguk.
“Good—out there.”
What the fuck are you saying right now?!
Jeongguk stares at him weirdly, and then he chuckles dryly. “Uh yeah, you too.”
Taehyung hides his embarrassment by catching up to Hoseok and Jimin who are stepping inside the locker rooms. He barely hears what they’re talking about, his inner voice screaming at him while thousands of thoughts accumulate.
Overwhelmed, Taehyung rushes in the showers, stripping himself bare in less than a minute and rushing to put on the shower gel, and shampoo in his hair. After it washes down in the drain, Taehyung steps out and wraps a towel around his waist.
He’s the first to step out of the showers, upper body still soaked while he rummages through his duffel bag to find his perfume, and deodorant.
While he adds it, Jeongguk walks past him, and strips himself down. Usually Taehyung barely notices him after practice, too entertained by the ones on his phone, and rushing out for a hookup, but now—now his eyes can’t seem to look elsewhere…
The muscles in Jeongguk’s back are defined, his sleeve fully on display, and just as Taehyung’s about to count how many moles are painting him, he snaps out of it.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
⚽⚽⚽
Today has been a shitty day, and Taehyung blames no one but himself.
He’s usually concentrated and well behaved at work, but today he was all over the place. It started with putting slices of lime in the wrong drinks, pouring vodka instead of tequila, and even mixing up his orders and giving guests the wrong ones.
Thankfully, his boss had gone easy on him, aware that something was clearly bothering him, and also within the fact that Taehyung’s usually a better bartender than this.
Taehyung’s losing it. He’s really fucking losing it.
The first thing Taehyung does when he gets home is crash down onto his bed. He groans in anger against the material of his sheets, frustrated to the brim that Jeongguk is still so far up in his mind, and that fucking kiss .
It’s just a stupid kiss, why is all of this happening to him?!
You f—
No.
Determined in figuring out more rather than reaching a dead end, Taehyung opens his computer and starts browsing about his ‘problem’.
Erectile dysfunction flashes his screen, and Taehyung slams down the screen in shock.
No.
No.
It works fine. He doesn’t need viagra or whatever suggestion there was from the forum that he caught a glimpse of before he’d been rooted in complete discomfort.
Rolling over, Taehyung stares at the ceiling and then an idea pops into his head.
Porn.
It’s been awhile since he’s used his own hand, the last time being when Jeongguk—
Fuck me.
Taehyung opens his laptop again, browsing after his favorite kind, videos that’ll make him come hard and fast all over his hand.
He’s fine. His dick is fine .
He presses play when he finds one of them, grabbing onto his bulge to add pressure when the pretty guy does on the other man who’s holding the camera.
It doesn’t take long for the guy to take out the cock that’s already hard, and even leaking a bit of pre-cum. Taehyung still isn’t hard himself but he keeps going, telling himself that it’ll work.
The man on display shoves the cock down his mouth, uncaring about teasing the one in front of him and while the sight is nothing but hot, Taehyung’s dick is still soft.
Uh oh.
No, no maybe he’s not watching it properly. Taehyung zooms in, focusing on what it would be like if he were the one to get sucked off, to feel the warmth and the wetness from the spit and—still nothing .
Taehyung shoves off his pants, staring at his dick that hasn’t hardened one single bit. He’s angry, frustrated and closes down the video, it only reminding him that he’s actually got a problem.
A very, very serious problem.
Shit.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Red Devils™️
hoseok
[image.png]
we out hereeeee 🔥🔥💪
pull uuuuupppp
yoongi
sorry
jin and i are busy
hoseok
gross
i mean i’m happy for u
but 🤢
yoongi
yeah yeah
we love u too
namjoon
i’ll be there later :))
taehyung
omw
When Taehyung arrives at the campus gym he already feels a lot better.
A workout is exactly what he needs to rid himself of his misery from yesterday, and the apparent problem he was confronted with.
He needs a fucking breather.
“Yo, Tae, over here!”
Hoseok calls him over from across the gym as he spots Mingyu who’s in the middle of his reps with heavier weight than usual. Taehyung approaches them, and greets casually before moving around into his own routine, needing to regain strength not only physically but mentally as well.
He starts off easy, taking a little run on the treadmill to get some cardio in and for his blood to start pumping.
Usually Taehyung brings his headphones to workouts but he had been so adamant on getting there that it slipped his mind.
Thankfully, the gym has its own playlist running in the speakers, leaving Taehyung entertained when he catches a few songs that he knows the lyrics to.
When he gets off, Hoseok wraps an arm over his shoulders.
“How’ve you been? Haven’t seen much of you since we came back from Busan.”
“Busy,” Taehyung clears his throat. “Super busy with—y’know.”
Oh God. What the fuck are you even saying right now?
Hoseok raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Busy, huh. Like the usual busy or work busy?”
Taehyung plays it off cool. “Both, you know me.”
“Ha, oh yeah. Need any help with your sets?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine, thanks hyung.”
“Sure thing.”
Moving onto the bench, Taehyung takes a swig at his water bottle before lying down, and grabbing onto the metal bar.
It goes by smoothly, Taehyung’s energy high enough to handle it, and more importantly he’s not distracted by—
“Fuck. Ah —”
He cranes his neck, spotting Jeongguk doing pull ups not far from him, ignorant to his presence.
Jesus Christ.
Why the fuck is he here?! He—
Taehyung slaps himself mentally.
Stop .
You got this. Ignore him.
Continuing his set, Taehyung ignores Jeongguk, and while it’s easy not to stare at him, there’s something he can’t avoid.
The noise.
It’s funny. Taehyung never noticed how loud Jeongguk was while he worked out but now—now it seems to be all that can reach his ears.
Come on, focus.
Taehyung proceeds, stabilizing his hold around the bar, and pushing it upwards.
It’s all fine, working out like this is completely fine but then Taehyung feels it.
A twitch.
Something he hasn’t felt in more than two weeks.
Shit.
No.
No. Fuck, no.
What the fuck—what the actual fuck?!
Wanting to remain confident, and composed, Taehyung ignores how his cock reacts to the sounds Jeongguk makes but it becomes harder when it only seems to grow more, blood rushing south, the bulge now more prominent when Taehyung glances downwards.
Fuck.
Why now?!
Why?!
How.
How the fuck—
He can’t be seen like this.
Jeongguk is just about to finish his own set when Taehyung puts the weights back in place, movements a bit uncoordinated that it clunks loudly, catching Jeongguk’s full attention.
Shit.
Taehyung sits up fast, trying to tuck away his hard on without Jeongguk noticing but he seems to already be staring at him.
Alright.
Run .
He gets up slowly, back facing Jeongguk, and tries to walk.
It’s a bit hard when his cock is hard in his gym shorts, more prominent too due to the lack of adjustment that Taehyung needs to be doing.
Finding a way out of it, Taehyung starts limping to avoid his gym shorts tightening further against his bulge.
“Yo, Kim, did you just limp?”
Fuck me, fuck me fuck —
Taehyung scoffs to seem annoyed by such an accusation—that's well, the truth. “No?”
He tries to walk further, and he regrets it immediately when Jeongguk points it out again.
“You’re fucking limping.”
Taehyung brushes it off. “I’m not. M’fine.”
“Did you hurt yourself?”
“No.”
Jeongguk seems to lay it off for now, allowing Taehyung to keep walking—limping towards the changing rooms.
At least your dick works.
Congratulations!
“Fuck me,” Taehyung breathes out when he steps inside. It’s empty, and while this is the last thing he wants to do, Taehyung knows it’s needed.
Shit.
Here goes nothing.
Taking a few steps, Taehyung gets inside the bathroom, and locks the door.
Okay.
Before adding any form of pressure or touch, Taehyung steals a glance in the mirror, and notices how he looks like a hot mess.
Good grief.
He needs to relieve himself.
As soon as fucking possible.
No patience to tug down his shorts and boxers, Taehyung spits on his hand before bringing it down, and wrapping it around his cock.
“Shit—”
He places his unoccupied hand onto the wall for support, the pleasure so unbearable that Taehyung feels like he could pass out from just touching himself.
Squeezing his eyes shut to ignore the fact he’s doing this in a public bathroom, Taehyung hurries his movements, stroking himself to release.
He tries to enjoy it, knowing it’ll make him come faster but everything that’s happened earlier—the reason he’s even hard in the first place is clogging his mind.
Come on, focus.
Taehyung shakes his head, and tries not to let the thoughts overwhelm him, instead focusing on what feels good.
He toys with his slit before moving down again, this time the grip more tight—tight enough to feel like he’s fucking into someone, and the pleasure grows stronger that Taehyung bites down onto the top of his bicep, hiding half of his face against his shoulder, and armpit to remain quiet in case someon—
“Kim? You in there?”
Instantly, Taehyung freezes. “Uh—”
Shit.
“Open up.”
“Get out of here, Jeon—I’m…” Fuck. “Busy!”
Jeongguk slams his hands down onto the door, knocking it continuously to the point Taehyung grows annoyed but he can’t open the door—not like this.
“Dude—seriously, I’m fucking busy! Get out!”
“You’re fucking injured, aren’t you?!”
Taehyung removes his hand from his dick, knowing now that Jeongguk won’t budge.
“I’m not—”
“How reckless can you be?! We have a match in three fucking days, we can’t afford you getting hurt right now, Kim! Now, open the door!”
“I’m not fucking hurt!”
“Bullshit! I saw you limp, you idiot!” Jeongguk knocks the door again when Taehyung remains quiet, trying to find a way out of this nightmare.
“Kim! Seriously!”
God fucking damn it.
Taehyung tucks his dick to hide the hard on—the true issue at hand—and swings the door open to glare coldly at Jeongguk.
“Stop whining! I’m fine.” Taehyung pushes past Jeongguk, trying to reach the exit but then he feels a pull to his arm.
“Wh—”
“Prove it.”
Taehyung laughs hard until he realizes that Jeongguk isn’t budging.
“You’re serious.”
“Dead. Go on, prove it.”
“You’re such a dramatic piece of shit Jeon,” Taehyung says but does as told, wanting to get furthest away from Jeongguk before his cock explodes in the confines of his shorts. “See, I’m fine.”
Jeongguk loosens in his posture when he realizes Taehyung wasn’t lying about his state being in perfect shape—well on the outside at least, except for his dick.
Great.
“Alright.”
Jeongguk leaves the locker rooms, and Taehyung rushes to pack his stuff, and run home.
So much for working out to get your mind off things.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s the night before their trip to Anyang, and Jimin grows worried.
Taehyung hasn’t exactly been doing well since the gym incident—or well more within the fact that his cock does work, it works fine for fucking Jeongguk.
Jeongguk of all people.
Jeon fucking Jeongguk.
God.
God.
Maybe it’s a curse.
Maybe—
“Alright, get up. I’m buying you some juice. You look…like you need some sugar.”
Taehyung groans against his sheets, not wanting to get up and face the world after everything. He’s tired, and he just wants to drown himself in his bed.
“No—”
“Taehyung. Get the fuck up.”
Not wanting to start an unnecessary fight with his roommate, Taehyung does as told.
He doesn’t respond once to Jimin’s endless questions while they walk towards the convenience store, his own self still trying to wrap around this newfound discovery about his problem.
“Sit, and don’t move,” Jimin orders strictly, and Taehyung does on one of the chairs outside the shop with a pout.
While Jimin’s gone, Taehyung looks down and realizes he looks like fucking shit. His sweatpants have stains on them, and his t-shirt is wrinkled. Great.
No wonder Jimin is worried sick about him.
“Here, drink.”
It’s a small juice box, and Taehyung starts to sip on it, still not bothering his best friend with the problem at hand.
“So. Are you gonna tell me why you look like the child of Edward from Twilight and some dried raisin?”
Taehyung almost chokes but remains quiet, sipping quietly even though there’s barely anything left.
“Taehyung. What the fuck is going on?”
He keeps sipping, the noises loud now that the small carton packaging is nearing its end, filled with more air than juice.
“Answer me! You look ten seconds away from looking like a corpse—seriously why do you look like fucking shit dude?! This is nothing like you—what the fuck are we gonna tell Coach when he catches your state?! Will you even be able to play on Saturday or—”
“I haven’t come in two fucking weeks!” Taehyung shouts, strangers walking past staring at them weirdly before scattering further down the hill, and Taehyung wants to bury himself alive.
Shit.
He said it.
Jimin’s eyes bug out. “Wh—”
“I’m a mess, Minnie! What the fuck do I do?!” Taehyung grabs onto his roommate's shirt, angry and frustrated by his emotions, and the physical aspect of it.
“I—what the fuck did you just say?! You haven’t—h-how?”
Taehyung whines. “Fuck if I know!”
“Uh…maybe you have erectile dysfunction, my uncle apparently has it and it’s completely normal, there’s tons of solutions to it—”
“No! No—it works, it…” Taehyung rubs his face down.
Jimin rubs down his temples, clearly overwhelmed with the situation. “Wait—run it back. You’re saying you haven’t come in two weeks but it works fine so why—”
“It doesn’t…It doesn’t always work.”
“Huh.” For a moment Jimin doesn’t say anything, staring into the building in front of them while Taehyung continues to spiral in silence.
Somehow the thoughts move into the direction of when they’re going to Anyang, and now Taehyung is worried he’ll share rooms with Jeongguk. Oh God. If he does he’s not only done for but busted as fuck—there’s no way he won’t be able to tell, how Taehyung’s barely looking him in the eyes, whatever he says it’s not with the same cocky tone—fuck.
“Is this related to Jeongguk kissing you?”
Taehyung chokes on his spit. “W-What.”
“Oh my God. Can you only get it up for—oh shit is that Jeongguk?”
“What?!” Taehyung turns his head, and Jimin’s right.
From the distance Jeongguk is walking alongside Jackson, chatting about something that seems important because they stop the moment they spot Taehyung, and Jimin.
Knowing Jeongguk’s nearing them, Taehyung grows more aware of his state, of how he looks and—
Shit.
Act cool.
Taehyung straightens his posture in the chair, spreading his legs like usual, and crosses his arms to remain on the surface.
“Sup.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Still limping?”
“Nah.”
“Good.”
“Yup.”
That's all there is because then Jeongguk and Jackson disappear into the store.
“What the fuck was that.”
Taehyung ignores it, keeping intact with his surface level act, not wanting to show Jeongguk a single glimpse into what things are really like. He can’t.
Jeongguk and Jackson walk out again not long after, Taehyung jutting out his chin when they say goodbye before disappearing further up the hill.
The moment they’re out of sight, Taehyung relaxes in his posture and slumps back down. “Fuck.”
“Taehyung.”
“I don’t wanna hear it.”
“So I was right. It is about J—”
“Jimin,” Taehyung warns, gritting his teeth in irritation.
“Come on, don’t do that. It’s clear you have a crush on him!”
Taehyung blinks.
“Oh—shit, sorry, I forgot for a second who I was talking to. You see, Taehyungie, a crush is a term we use when someone, in this case you, grow a strong liking or maybe in your case infatuation for someone, so much to the point you kinda start crashing out—hell even your dick might not work and—”
“Shut up! Stop—stop talking. I don’t-I don’t have a fucking crush or whatever that even means on Jeon Jeongguk, okay?!”
Jimin sighs, annoyed. “Right, and we have flying cars.”
“We—stop. I mean it—I don’t. I can’t!”
“Your dick says otherwise.”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
Jimin laughs. “God, can’t believe you’re crushing on Jeon Jeongguk—oh my God you’re crushing on Jeon Jeongguk…”
Taehyung tugs his hair in frustration because…well—
You do.
Shit.
He’s fucked.
Notes:
ah yes, the start of a new era;
✨pathetic, panicked, loser ktg!th✨
welcome diva, we're thrilled to have you here:3
here's a playlist for the special occasion as well;
Chapter 19
Summary:
It’s fine.
He’s totally fucking chill. Like super, super chill.
You look dumb as fuck.
Notes:
ktg!th: please don't post this chapter. it's fucking embarrassing.
me: *evil laughter* enjoy everyone!
ktg!th: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Taehyung? Are you re—what are you doing?”
Taehyung doesn’t even know himself. For the last minute he’s been pressing his forehead flat down onto the kitchen island, allowing it to ache a bit, anything to get the thoughts out of his head.
Pressing down onto his head doesn’t seem to help.
He’s doomed, and oh, so extremely fucked.
“Mhm…” He mumbles, not wanting to face anyone, scared they’ll see the blaring neon sign on top of his head that screams ‘pathetic’.
Because that’s what he is. A pathetic person who set up a trap, and fell into it.
“Okay, enough moping. We need to get to the central station of Seoul, and Ryu’s giving us a ride. He’s been waiting for us.”
“Uh huh…” A pause. “Wait. Did you just say Ryu? As in Jeongguk’s roommate, Ryu?”
“What?”
Taehyung moves up, straightening his back. “I can’t—I can’t see him right now, not—not after you called this a…a…” He looks away in shame, the word too close for comfort.
“A crush. It’s called a crush, Tae. And you’ll be fine. A crush isn’t everlasting, you’ll be over it in no time. You just gotta push through, ignore it, let it fizzle out. Now, stop being a baby and go put your shoes on.”
“But I—”
“Taehyung.”
Immediately, Taehyung knows there’s no way out. He’ll have to endure sitting in a car with Jeongguk for a solid twenty minutes. Shit.
As he puts on his shoes, Jimin is frantically texting Ryu while commenting on Taehyung’s tardiness even though he knows why.
Great, not even Jimin is on his side when it comes to this— thing.
Just say the word crush, idiot.
Taehyung mumbles curse words at himself while tying the shoelaces, and the moment he gets back up, Jimin pushes him out of the door while carrying both of their duffel bags.
The car can be spotted from where they are, Ryu leaning against it while Jeongguk shoves his bags into the trunk, unaware of Taehyung and Jimin’s presence.
Every step down, Taehyung’s heart moves up into his throat, the beat pounding loudly beneath his skin, it’s all he can feel.
“Hey guys!” Ryu shouts from a distance, waving excitedly.
Jimin runs up towards them, hugging Ryu while Taehyung trails behind carefully, and greets him casually.
Jeongguk finally takes notice of them. “Oh, hey.”
Taehyung turns around, and clears his throat. “Sup.”
Jeongguk stares at Taehyung weirdly, and for a second, Taehyung swears he can tell. There’s no way he can’t. There’s no way he doesn’t see it. There’s no fucking way.
Shit.
This trip is going to be a straight up nightmare.
“Who wants to sit in the back?” Ryu asks, cutting off Taehyung’s increasing thoughts.
“I don’t mind,” Jeongguk says, and opens the door to hop in.
“I’ll sit in the front!” Taehyung rushes to say, getting in, ignoring Jimin’s offended look from the window.
“You’re gonna pay for that,” Jimin mouths before running around the car to get in from the other side.
He keeps his eyes locked onto the road when Ryu turns the engine on, and drives them out of the parking lot connected to the apartment complex.
“Are you guys excited for Anyang? I heard their team is doing really good this year,” Ryu asks to start a conversation which Taehyung is grateful for, the silence of this ride probably out to kill him if nothing else.
“Yeah, but they’ve got nothing on us, the Red Devils are easily better.” Jimin responds, leaning sideways to look at Ryu from the rear view mirror.
Jeongguk scoffs. “We can’t know for sure…”
“Right, but there’s nothing wrong with being hopeful,” Taehyung says without thinking, anything to prevent Jeongguk from breaking down like he did before their match against Busan again.
Jeongguk sends him a surprised look but doesn’t argue. Instead, he leans into his seat, and looks out of the window.
“Exactly! There are chances of us winning as much as losing!” Jimin adds, shaking Jeongguk to rid him of his bad nerves, and surprisingly Jeongguk breaks out a smile.
“Okay! Okay, alright!”
Ryu’s smile is different from Jeongguk’s. It’s softened to the point Taehyung has no doubt that he’s touched. Shit. Has Jeongguk’s stress really been this bad?
Taehyung’s heart sinks in his chest before he can stop it.
Fuck.
You car—
“Do you guys have anything planned for the trip?” Ryu asks, cutting Taehyung’s inner voice who was spelling out the truth for him.
Jimin takes the lead. “Seokjin-hyung found us a great karaoke place that gives you unlimited soju if you book a room for five people or more.”
Ryu raises an eyebrow. “No shit?”
“I know, right? I was surprised too. They’d never have such a thing in downtown Seoul. The great perks of another city.”
“Absolutely.”
Ryu and Jimin continue to converse about Seoul in general, and other activities they’ve done around here. Taehyung tunes himself out, losing his train of thoughts the longer he stares at the buildings disappearing at a fast pace when they reach the main street not far from the station.
“What have you been up to, Taehyung?” Ryu asks when the conversation between him and Jimin ends, and his roommate is scrolling on his phone to kill time.
“Uh…nothing much,” Taehyung shrugs. “Jus’ stuff.”
Jeongguk steals a glance at them, Taehyung feeling his eyes on him which causes him to break out in a sweat.
Shit.
Jeongguk can definitely see it. It’s probably blaring in red like a siren, shouting out the word crush until it breaks. Fuck. Fuck .
“Stuff? As in…?”
Usually, Taehyung would brush it off by going off about a recent hookup of his but things aren’t exactly like that anymore. Instead, he adjusts his posture, and admits the truth.
“Classes, and uh, went out with Minnie two weeks ago as well.”
Jimin breaks into a laugh in the backseat while Jeongguk raises his eyebrows in surprise, and Taehyung freezes in his seat.
“Funniest night out.”
“Really? How was it? Did something happen?”
“Jimin made out with a bad kisser.”
His roommate rolls his eyes. “Right, cause that’s all that hap—”
Taehyung shouts to shut him up. “We’re here!”
He points at the station, Ryu staring at him weirdly for his sudden outburst.
“Uh…yeah. Hold on, let me find a spot.”
Silence grows, Taehyung’s leg bouncing the longer he has to endure it, and finally the car comes to a halt.
“Alright, have fun! Jeonggukie, text me this time, okay?”
Jeongguk frowns. “I’m barely an hour away, dude.”
“Your point?”
Taehyung tries not to laugh, getting out of the car before he fails. He grabs his duffel bag from Jimin, sending him a warning look from earlier, one he hopes neither Jeongguk nor Ryu catch.
They join the rest of the team after saying goodbye to Ryu who makes it out of the cramped parking lot.
Coach Lee greets them with a warm smile, and pats to their shoulders for making it in time. Jihoon crosses them off the list, Taehyung noticing they’re still missing Kwan and Mingyu.
“Kwan and Mingyu are rarely late, what’s up?” Yoongi asks while holding onto Seokjin’s hand.
“They went out yesterday. I told them it was a bad idea but—” Soohyun shrugs while breaking out a yawn, probably too tired to care right now.
Taehyung remains silent, scared that whatever he’ll say will somewhat give it away.
Silence is the solution. The key to avoidance.
“Reds!” Coach Lee calls out, just as Kwan and Mingyu run up, arriving on the dot, and completely hungover by the looks of it.
“Kwan, Mingyu, I hope to see you a bit earlier when we go to Daegu.”
They bow in shame, apologizing until Coach Lee seems to have let it go.
“Okay, now, our train to Anyang leaves in ten minutes. We get off at the central station and take a bus from there to our hotel. When we arrive you’ll be getting your rooms. Luckily, the hotel had enough rooms for you to share with one teammate instead of two. You’re allowed to stay at the hotel, explore for the rest of the day—I know some of you have never been, so now will be the time for it. We have early practice tomorrow before our match, and I want everyone in the lobby at eight sharp. Got it, team?”
“Got it!” They respond in unison.
“Okay, let’s go.”
The Red Devils walk in a cluster down the stairs except for Kwan and Mingyu who are battling through their hangover. Taehyung laughs at the sight, pointing his finger when Hoseok sends him a confused look.
When the train arrives, Jimin hugs Taehyung from behind, chin hooked on his shoulder.
Everyone except them makes it onto the train, and as soon as they do, Jimin rushes in front of Taehyung. The team has managed to fill out almost every seat except for the ones that are available next to Hoseok and Jeongguk.
Perfect.
Jimin will sit next to Jeongguk, leaving Taehyung with Hoseok and—
“Hobi-hyung!” Jimin cheers excitedly, sitting down without glancing behind him to catch the offended frown Taehyung now carries.
What the fuck.
“Taehyung? Sit down,” Coach Lee says with a warning tone, the train conductor outside stepping back onto the train after sending off the signal.
Shit.
“Tae, sit down!” Jimin adds, smiling innocently when Taehyung clenches his jaw in anger over his roommates terrible fucking revenge plan.
He has a hard time doing it, so hard that Jimin gets back up, and pushes him down onto the seat. “Jeongguk doesn’t bite. Chill.”
You’d like that wouldn’t you, Taehyung?
Jesus.
Taehyung gulps and shakes his head trying to rid himself of the memory of when Jeongguk hadn’t hesitated to push forward and bite Taehyung’s bottom lip after he had just made them come.
Jeongguk looks sideways in confusion, ignoring the fuss that’s happening beside him which Taehyung’s grateful for. He can’t handle more embarrassment than what he’s currently feeling.
Trying his hardest not to move a muscle, Taehyung remains postured, one foot pointing in the direction of the exit—ready to rush out as soon as they hit Anyang station.
The faster the train goes, the higher Taehyung’s hope rises for getting the fuck out of this situation.
It’s fine.
He’s totally fucking chill. Like super, super chill.
You look dumb as fuck.
Taehyung sighs loudly, trying to block out his inner voice that continues to remind him how he’s changing.
Fuck.
“Relax,” Jimin mouths at him when Taehyung looks around him, the window off limits due to Jeongguk occupying it.
Taehyung knows if he were to stare out the window, his eyes would uncontrollably stare at Jeongguk, and he can’t let that happen.
At least you got one thing right .
“Fuck you,” Taehyung whispers angrily, Jimin snorting at the mess he created.
“Payback.”
Jesus Christ.
They haven’t even arrived to Anyang and he’s already deeply fucked. Great. Just his luck.
For what feels like an eternity, Taehyung trails a finger over the tattoos on his thigh that peek out from his shorts to distract himself from the situation. He’s in the middle of tracing the number—the date of the day when he was standing all alone, scared—
“Wh—” Taehyung looks sideways, interrupted by the touch of—
He looks down, noticing how Jeongguk’s thigh is now pressed against his own, their knees too. Before he can even relish on how it feels, Taehyung looks beside him, noticing Jeongguk snoozing, completely unaware to them touching so…intimately.
Fuck.
Jeongguk feels warm, and Taehyung grows hot in his seat, trying his hardest not to move a muscle. He doesn’t want to wake him up for one, and also within the fact they’d have to confront what just happened if Jeongguk were to open his eyes.
Frozen from head to toe, Taehyung closes his eyes, trying to pull through.
It becomes harder the longer time passes, Taehyung’s head leaned against the headrest of the seat, swallowing his nerves as best as he can.
He probably looks like a fucking mess right now.
It’s just skin—a sensation Taehyung isn’t new to so why…why is he so affected by the mere touch?
It’s Jeongguk.
Taehyung sucks in a breath, remaining completely still even though his hands turn clammy, and his fingertips are buzzing with nervousness.
You got this, Taehyung.
No, you don’t.
Thankfully, Anyang comes to view not long after. Taehyung feels the hope swallow his unsettled nerves.
“Alright, Reds. We’re getting off soon. Make sure you have all your stuff with you,” Coach Lee says after standing up and heading towards the exit door.
The team slowly gets up as well, wanting to make it out smoothly without any trouble.
Jeongguk stirs awake, probably due to the sudden shuffling noises from his teammates. He immediately straightens in his posture when he notices they’re nearing Anyang station but his thigh remains pressed against Taehyung’s own.
Oh.
Taehyung doesn’t even manage to blink before Jeongguk notices and awkwardly clears his throat while he moves in his seat, the warmth gone in an instant.
Acting like nothing happened feels like the key to this situation. Taehyung gets up and follows Jimin out towards the rest, not even sparing another look at Jeongguk.
It’s cool.
There’s nothing.
Jeongguk removing it much later doesn’t mean anything—he just didn’t notice and that’s why h—
Wait.
Why the fuck is he even overthinking this?
Get it together, Taehyung.
Right.
Whatever.
“Everyone here?” Coach asks while Jihoon counts, the list back in his hand for double measure.
“Yeah, I was the last one,” Jeongguk says, clarifying Coach Lee’s question.
“Perfect. Thank you for that, Jeongguk. There’s a bus waiting for us at Terminal 3. This way,” Coach Lee points before heading towards their destination. The team are quick to follow in his steps, remaining focused which causes them all to be silent.
The first thing Taehyung notices when they step outside is the immense downpour in Anyang. None from the Red Devils had expected it, including Jihoon and Coach Lee who quickly cover themselves as best as possible when they run out towards the bus.
“Come on, quick!”
They rush to push their duffel bags inside the bus before running around towards the entrance.
All of them are drenched, big blotches of water covering their shoulders as they catch their breath. Coach Lee waves his baseball cap back and forth like a fan in his seat, and Jihoon pats down on his forehead with the back of his hand beside him.
When Taehyung sits down near the window he removes his red snapback to run his fingers through his hair, trying to dry out the ends but there’s not much luck.
Sooner or later the Red Devils fill out the bus, Jimin sitting beside Taehyung which has him relieved, not wanting a second part in sitting next to Jeongguk for a long period of time.
Although Jeongguk is sitting not far from them, two seats forward and towards the opposite side of the aisle which is terrible because now? Now, Taehyung can’t stop staring at him.
Jeongguk with wet hair is a fucking nightmare because he looks…he looks so—
Taehyung’s throat goes dry.
His hair is more curly, the ends still wet and dripping down onto his t-shirt and the side of his cheek when he tilts his head slightly, growing comfortable in his seat.
Taehyung should look away. He really should but—Jeongguk makes it fucking impossible.
Your crush is showing.
Great.
Just…just great.
Ignoring the way Jeongguk tucks his hair behind his ears, Taehyung stares at the newfound city, not being able to see much with the trails of rain on the window but it’s better than nothing.
Studying the lines and how they move whenever a new drop finds its way to it, Taehyung loses track of time, and is taken by surprise when the bus finally comes to a stop.
“Alright, Reds, we’re here. Jihoon checked the weather forecast and it’ll stop in an hour or so, so there’ll still be a possibility for you guys to explore Anyang later. For now, I suggest you stay at the hotel and kill some time.”
They head outside one after the other, quick in grabbing their bags before stepping inside the hotel.
It’s more spacious than the one in Busan, enough for them to have a few art pieces in the lobby—even a pretty sculpture right by the entrance to the restaurant.
While Coach Lee and Jihoon check them in at the reception, Taehyung takes the time to check his notifications.
As he scrolls, he stumbles upon a group chat message that instantly makes him smile.
💚💛❤️
junseo 💚
[video]
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
this is mom in a nutshell
tell me i’m wrong
He clicks on the video, a skit displaying a woman in her late twenties mimicking mothers whenever they’re in a rush. Taehyung laughs, immediately recognizing some things she’s said in the past.
taehyung ❤️
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
this is indeed mom
where did u even find this????
junseo 💚
insta
i get so many of these
jieun 💛
it’s all he does
i swear sometimes i hear the videos from my room
taehyung ❤️
damn that often huh
junseo be nice to your sister and put on your headphones
junseo 💚
hyung
jieun is exaggerating. seriously. SHES LYING!!!!!
i have the volume all the way down!
jieun 💛
seriously??? you’re gonna pull that????
its funny u think taehyungie oppa is gonna believe u
i’m his favorite after all :3
junseo 💚
hyung told me last week he prefers me
try again 🙄
taehyung ❤️
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
i miss u guys
“Hey, Reds! I’m gonna list the following rooms. Alright so…”
Taehyung shoves down his phone in his pocket after sending another text to Junseo and Jieun to assure they don't feel ignored, and averts his full attention onto Coach Lee.
“Hoseok, Jimin, you’re room 305. Yoongi and Minho, 306. Seokjin and Mingyu, 307. Taehyung and Kwa—wait…” Coach Lee pauses to go through the list again, his hand pulling the paper back and forth instead of putting on his glasses like usual.
“Ah, sorry. I meant Taehyung and Jeongguk, room 308.”
No.
This can’t be.
This can’t fucking be.
The rest of the list is unheard, Taehyung too busy drowning in his own accumulating thoughts about the rooming situation.
He’s so fucked.
“And that’s all. Jihoon has your keycards.”
Desperate for a way out, Taehyung walks up to Coach Lee, about to beg him to change it—make up a shitty excuse to get furthest away from Jeongguk.
Just as he makes it, and is about to open his mouth, he feels a pull to his ear.
“Ow—Jeongguk!”
Coach Lee raises an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”
“Yes, actually I—”
Jeongguk cuts him off. “No problem at all, sorry about that Coach.”
Taehyung’s ear is slightly sore when it gets pulled again, this time more roughly that he can’t help but follow Jeongguk unwillingly into another direction in the lobby.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” He yells in a harsh whisper, not wanting any attention drawn onto them.
“What are you doing?! I wanted to go change rooms and then you just—”
“Are you fucking stupid? What do you think Coach is gonna think if you’re whining to him about rooming with me? He already thinks we’re—” Jeongguk bites his tongue down. “Friends.”
Friends.
Friends.
Taehyung feels like throwing up.
“I’m not fucking rooming with you.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Seriously?! It’s a fucking room Taehyung. You agreed to tolerate each other for the team! And this, well, this is far from it. Just—get it together for two days.”
“I–”
“What’s up with you lately? You’re acting weird.”
Taehyung sighs, sensing a dead end. “Nothin’. Whatever.”
Just that I probably have a massive crush on you, and I’m losing my goddamn mind over it, and my dick isn’t fucking working properly, and I can’t stop staring at you, and you’re even prettier with wet hair and—
Taehyung walks away, and grabs their keycards from Jihoon before he loses it. Jeongguk doesn’t say more, and follows him in silence instead.
The elevator ride is awkward, Jeongguk sighing loudly while Taehyung tries his hardest not to crack, and to remain completely chill.
He’s got this.
He can do this.
Are you sure about that?
Oh fuck off.
It’s fine. It could be way worse. At least he doesn’t have to share a bed with Jeongguk. Now that would’ve been like taking a big step into hell.
The first thing Taehyung notices when he walks in are the two singles by the end of the small corridor entrance.
Thank God.
“Which one do you want?” Jeongguk asks behind him, eyeing the beds as well.
“Don’t care.”
“Alright.”
Jeongguk picks the one towards the window that displays a view of the city. Taehyung’s grateful for having the one closest to the exit. It’ll do him well in case he seriously loses it during this trip—not that he already hasn’t.
But for now, he’s done a great job at being completely norm—
He’s interrupted by Jeongguk landing flat on the bed, groaning when he shifts, shirt riding up with the action and his shorts tightening around his thighs.
Taehyung loses his fucking mind.
He gawks at the sight of Jeongguk’s prominent v-line, the band of his boxers, and the small wet droplets from the rain on his thighs that trail carefully down the lines of his muscles. Taehyung’s just about to catch his breath when he feels a twitch of excitement.
No.
No—God, fuck, no!
Turning around quickly, Taehyung rushes inside the bathroom before Jeongguk notices anything, and especially before he grows even harder.
The moment the door shuts, Taehyung leans against it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
Okay.
So maybe sharing a room is actually taking a step into hell.
Fuck.
In need to let out his frustrations, Taehyung grabs the folded towel resting under the sink, and shoves his face in to scream with all his might.
Alright. Well, he doesn’t feel any better but he feels…better than earlier.
Now, he’ll have to do nothing but wait it out.
Maybe he can find answers to his solution. He can’t afford another fucking boner just because Jeongguk’s stretching— fuck. He’s really lost it, huh.
Shaking his head, Taehyung grabs his phone and looks up ways to handle a crush, more specifically when you share a room with them.
There’s not many answers. All of them tell him to sleep at his own place instead or cool off by going outside.
Great. He can’t do either.
Frustrated, Taehyung decides to look around him instead, and to get lost in the details of the hotel bathroom.
There’s not much inside it except for the clean towels and travel sized bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body lotion in a small basket near the faucet. Taehyung sits down on the toilet after closing the lid, and grabs the products, reading over every single ingredient.
Anything to kill time.
Surprised by the fact there’s not much to read, Taehyung looks up and studies the ceiling instead. It’s light brown with small cracks but it seems to be done on purpose—
Jesus Christ, Taehyung .
These towels are so—
Get it fucking together, dude.
Okay.
Okay, fine. He can do this.
Taehyung gets up from the toilet and stares at his reflection. His snapback has gained a darker shade of red due to the rain, and the strands of his hair that peek out by the front have managed to dry out.
He looks down, realizing he’s still half hard despite distracting himself as best as he can. Seriously, usually it never lasts this long but—he also hasn’t come in…in longer than usual.
Shit.
Well, if Naver, reading ingredients and staring at his reflection doesn’t help, texting Jimin might.
to: minnie
jimin
pls come to my room
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
IM FKN HIDING IN THE BTHROOM
PLS JIMIN
PARK FKN JIMIN
from: minnie
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
to: minnie
wtf
bro
seriously
I NEED U
COME TO MY ROOM
RN
I VANT DO THIS
I WANNA GO HOME 😭😭😭😭😭😭
from: minnie
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
to: minnie
why am i even friends w you
fucking hell
from: minnie
you’re on your own bro :)
besides
this could be good for u!
the closure might make your feelings go away
who knows????
to: minnie
thats hard to believe…
from: minnie
if you confront your feelings
u could get rid of them
that’s what i did w jackson hyung
to: minnie
ok
ok yeah
maybe ur right
thanks
from: minnie
now leave the bathroom and act normal
fake it till u make it buddy
fighting :)
to: minnie
i’m gonna kill u if it doesnt work
Confident in his posture, Taehyung takes a deep breath and opens the bathroom door. He doesn't know how long he’s been in there, but long enough for Jeongguk to look at him weirdly.
“What.” Taehyung tries to sit on his bed like a normal person but fails when Jeongguk’s shorts ride up, revealing more skin than before as he moves around on the bed.
He almost falls but grabs the comforter roughly to remain composed.
“Did you take a shit in there?”
Taehyung’s eyes bulge out. “What?! No—no what the fuck, Jeongguk?”
He doesn't seem to believe him, eyeing him rather suspiciously with how his eyes squint. “Mhm.”
“I’m serious.” Taehyung turns around, feeling himself grow embarrassed that Jeongguk thinks he—fucking great .
Thankfully, his hard-on is long gone now, and miraculously the rain is no longer present—the sun now shining down onto the city of Anyang.
Perfect.
He can finally get the fuck out of here.
If he doesn’t, he’ll turn hot due to Jeongguk being too close to him.
“Alright, I’m out,” Taehyung says after deciding on going to the field, and working on his shots. He can’t get distracted because if he does then he might make them lose.
You want to win for Jeongguk, huh.
Taehyung facepalms himself, rushing to grab his uniform and cleats—Jeongguk’s presence doing numbers on him he’d rather avoid.
“Where are you going?”
“Gonna work on my form,” Taehyung answers quickly, avoiding eye contact with his teammate at all costs. If he does he’d choke—and he can’t afford to look like a fucking idiot in front of Jeon Jeongguk. Absolutely not.
“I’ll come with you.”
“Huh?”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“You—you should stay here, uh, rest and shit y’know.”
“I’m fine. Besides, you need me.”
Taehyung’s throat goes dry.
“I—”
“To help you out.”
Right. Of course. Of course that’s what he meant.
“I’m good.”
“I’m coming with, Kim. Can’t fight me on this.”
Taehyung disappears inside the bathroom to change instead of answering, leaving space for Jeongguk to do as well.
So much for wanting to get furthest away from Jeon Jeongguk.
It’s a bit funny to change in the closed off space because, well, they’ve seen each other undress plenty of times in the locker rooms. So really, there should be no problem doing that now but it feels weirdly intimate.
Taehyung would rather not indulge for the sake of his state of mind. The physical aspect it would be deadly either way, having to watch Jeongguk remove his clothes, revealing more and more of his skin and—
He shakes his head, focusing on his own task rather than imagining what Jeongguk looks like behind the door.
Not long after, Taehyung's ready and changed, stepping out with his cleats in one hand.
Jeongguk is too, wearing the Red Devils windbreaker, and Taehyung follows with.
They both grab their soccer balls before stepping out in the stranded hallway.
The floor of the hotel is carpeted, their steps silent as they move towards the elevator, and click on the signal button.
It’s quiet, too quiet for Taehyung’s own liking. He wants to say something, act normal as Jimin had suggested but nothing comes to mind.
Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be keen on small talk either with the way he’s staring at nothing but the elevator, waiting for it to show up.
Just say something. Anything .
“So—”
The elevator dings before Taehyung can say whatever would spill out from his mouth, Jeongguk unaware of him trying to start a conversation.
The ride down to the lobby is even worse, quiet, Taehyung tapping his fingers against the golden handrails while Jeongguk hums a song that he can’t pinpoint.
He never gets to guess it, the doors opening and revealing Coach Lee, and Jihoon sitting on the two thick leather seats in the lobby.
Taehyung wishes he could avoid them, but Jeongguk makes their presence known by wrapping an arm over him, laughing fakely as they walk past.
Heart hammering in his chest, Taehyung tries his hardest to calm down from the weight he feels from Jeongguk—and the warmth, and how firm his bicep feels on the side his neck and—
“Taehyung, Jeongguk, glad to see you two getting along,” Coach Lee comments, Jeongguk looking at Taehyung right after.
“He’s great.”
Taehyung wants to run away before he collapses in the middle of this fancy-looking lobby.
“Where are you headed?”
“Gonna practice a bit. Taehyung needs some help.”
Before Taehyung can grit out words in protest, Coach Lee smiles at them sincerely, a look he’s rarely given Taehyung.
Fuck.
Withholding it, Taehyung nods to affirm Jeongguk’s response.
“Ah, that’s good. I’ll leave you two to it, then.” Coach Lee ends the conversation here, Taehyung pulling Jeongguk roughly by his jacket—boiling with anger and frustration over how his skin is tingling , and how his heartbeat has never beaten this loudly before.
What the fuck is happening?!
When the fresh air hits them, Taehyung pushes Jeongguk away, fingers trembling with need even though it’s barely been a minute.
Shit.
He can’t do this.
“Don’t fucking do that again,” Taehyung warns harshly.
“I—Kim, relax, it worked didn’t it?”
Taehyung sighs while rubbing both temples, a headache finding its way through his skull. “He gets it, okay? That shit was unnecessary, Jeon. Do that shit again, and see what happens.”
God, I really don’t wanna find out. Don’t tempt me, Jeongguk, please—fucking spare me.
“It was impulsive—I wasn’t thinking.”
You’re making it worse.
“I don’t give a shit, Jeon.”
Jeongguk clenches his jaw. “Got it.”
The tension is thick when they proceed to reach the field before having to go back to the hotel for lunch as noted in their schedule.
Taehyung ignores the heavyweight he feels on his shoulders now that it’s tense between them rather than awkwardly light. It’s funny. He actually prefers that than what’s happening now.
Jeongguk isn’t saying anything, like whatever he’ll say now is useless and stupid. Taehyung’s scared that if he says something now it’ll add more fuel when the temper from both has already dimmed down a bit thanks to the calming winds in Anyang.
Relief latches onto Taehyung when they reach the field, the grass smelling fresh due to the rain from earlier. It’s soft beneath his shoes when he walks on it, and Taehyung already knows he’ll have to clean his cleats properly tonight from all the grass that’ll stick to it.
Uncaring that he’ll get a wet butt, Taehyung sits down and exchanges his beaten up sneakers for his red and black cleats.
The moment he gets up and brushes off the grass that is stuck to his bottom, Jeongguk clears his throat.
“So…” He starts off, rubbing a hand down on his nape.
Taehyung fixes his snapback and does exactly what Jimin advised him to. Fake it till you make it, buddy.
“It’s whatever,” Taehyung shrugs before starting to stretch, not wanting to gain a painful cramp the day before their match.
“Alright,” Jeongguk answers, joining him.
Another moment of silence passes between them, one that has Taehyung wanting to rip his hair out in frustration or run away…or both, actually, both.
To get out of it, Taehyung grabs a hold of the soccer ball with the front of his foot, sliding it over to gain better control.
“I’m gonna—yeah, uh, shoot and stuff.”
What the fuck are you saying right now?
Jeongguk nods. “Alright. Want me to guard the net?”
“Sure, it’s whatever,” Taehyung says to remain cool and composed when in reality he’s the complete opposite.
Great.
This is just—just exactly what he needed after finding out he’s rooming with Jeongguk.
When Jeongguk stands guarding the net, Taehyung practices his penalty shots, still struggling to remain focused on getting it in—brain fuzzy with old memories that slither their way through whenever he’s about to set into a run to shoot.
Jeongguk notices but doesn’t comment on it like usual. Taehyung’s glad he doesn’t.
It’s not bad—practicing with Jeon Jeongguk that is. Not that he hasn’t before, it’s just, now—well, now he’s crushing on him. Taehyung gains chills by the word repeating itself loudly in his head.
Crush. Such a big fat crus—
He shoots to rid himself of it.
It doesn’t work even though he experiences joy in noticing the ball in the net, and Jeongguk claps to congratulate him.
“Not bad, not bad,” Jeongguk says from across the field, and Taehyung throws an awkward thumbs up to tell him he’s received his note.
“I think we should practice tackling.”
“Wait what.”
No. Not tackling.
There’s so much contact , bodies up against one another and Taehyung can’t afford to be close to Jeongguk right now. He doesn’t know how he’ll react, or more so his di—
“Hobi-hyung told me they’re super aggressive. I don’t wanna risk anything tomorrow.”
“Relax, we’re fine. Let’s do—”
“Taehyung. I wasn’t asking.”
All words are blocked in his throat. He doesn’t know if it’s because of how persistent Jeongguk is or if it’s the way he says his name or—fuck. He’s so fucked .
“We’re not doing that. I’m good. We don’t gotta practice that. It’s fine.”
Jeongguk stares at him as if he’s grown two heads. “What? Are you scared of a little pain? Is that what this is?”
He’s mocking him, the teasing tone easy to catch.
“I’m not scared.”
I’m terrified to the point I might fucking shit myself.
Jesus.
“I’m—It’s just, we don’t have to. Let’s do dribbles and other stuff instead, I don’t know, I—”
Jeongguk clenches his jaw.
“Get it fucking together. Seriously, what’s with you?! You’re turning pale.”
Shit. He is?!
“I’m cool, fucking great even, we’re cool. I jus’ don’t wanna practice tackling.”
Jeongguk laughs lightly. Taehyung’s heart does a weird somersault in his chest over the sound.
“Yeah, well, sucks to be you.”
And then, he goes for it without a single warning.
Jeongguk throws him the soccer ball, and before Taehyung can even dominate it, he’s up against him, breath hot by his nape.
Fuck. Fuck me.
Taehyung tries—God , he fucking tries but Jeongguk’s breath is uneven by his ear, exactly the same when he had fucked into him and—
Instantly, Taehyung lets go of the ball and creates distance between them before his dick can react to the raunchiness he’s stirred up in his head.
“See?! This is why we need to practice tackling. You fucking suck at this.”
You make me suck at this, asshole.
“Fuck you. Let me warm up, okay. Give me a second.”
If I don’t get a second, my dick will cause damage, to me, like a whole lot.
Jeongguk scoffs, annoyed. “Yeah well, don’t make it long. We have to be back in an hour.”
Sucking it up, and trying his hardest to repeat Jimin’s word of advice in his head, Taehyung obliges into being tackled by Jeon Jeongguk.
They’re back at it, pressed up side by side. Jeongguk’s skin feels hot against his own, and his breath only turns more frantic by each resistance from Taehyung.
Fuck.
Who would’ve thought tackling could be so fucking hot?
Remaining concentrated on what’s in front of him, Taehyung manages to rid himself from Jeongguk, cheering loudly when he runs towards the net.
He doesn’t expect Jeongguk to catch up, let alone slide a leg beneath his own two feet.
The rational move results in Taehyung falling backwards, grabbing hold of Jeongguk’s jersey to drag him down with him, and then he lands flat down.
His head thumps onto the cold, wet grass, snapback falling off right beside him.
It’s weird, though, his body feels oddly heavy.
Blinking his eyes to adjust, Taehyung realizes Jeongguk is on top of him.
Frozen in shock over it, Taehyung diverts his eyes elsewhere, the sight of Jeongguk in such a position deadly .
He knows if he were to look he’d get hard.
“Ow—my fucking shoulder!” Jeongguk stirs, throwing a light punch to Taehyung’s chest which makes him puff out a weird noise.
“Get off!” Taehyung shouts, still not looking at Jeongguk.
Jeongguk tries to get up but then his left foot slides against the wet grass, and he lands back down firmly onto Taehyung’s bulge.
Taehyung tries not to moan—to look, to even acknowledge what’s happening in front of him. His cock is already hardening in excitement from feeling the familiar sensation of Jeongguk’s ass.
But mostly the reminder that they’ve been in this position before, on a field too.
“Shit—it’s so fucking wet,” Jeongguk mutters under his breath, clearly talking about the grass but Taehyung’s already too far gone to realize it.
“Get—get off. Fuck—Jeongguk, get the fuck off me!”
Taehyung pulls him by the hips, and Jeongguk’s breath stutters by the grip when he’s thrown onto his side with a harsh push.
“You were the one who dragged me with you! That’s on you, Kim! Now I’m fucking wet and—”
“Stop! Stop talking. Jus’ shut up.”
Taehyung’s cock is too excited over Jeongguk’s use of words, twitching and growing harder.
Fuck. This is bad. This is very bad.
To play it off cool, Taehyung pulls the hem of his jersey, trying to cover it smoothly before Jeongguk notices.
The silence between them helps him cool off, the hardness coming to a halt.
“I’m going back to the hotel—need a shower,” Taehyung rushes to say as he gets up, not stopping to brush off the grass that’s stuck to his legs and arms even though the sensation is annoying to the point it’s almost itching.
“I—yo, what the fuck?! Kim?! Hey!”
He starts running, grabbing his beaten up sneakers and soccer ball, leaving Jeongguk in the middle of a wet field.
The rest of the day passes like a blur. Taehyung hangs around Jimin and Hoseok most of the time, avoiding Jeongguk at all costs. Coach Lee, thankfully, hasn’t caught onto the awkwardness of their camaraderie , too busy debriefing their play technique for tomorrow with Jihoon.
It works well, up until they’re heading upstairs to get some proper sleep before having to be up early for the match against Anyang.
Hoseok’s arm is wrapped around Taehyung’s shoulders, giggling while telling him a story about one of his classmates that was catfished. Jeongguk’s standing in front of them, typing on his phone while talking to Jimin who’s asking a lot of questions about Ryu, and Jackson.
Taehyung barely hears half of it, giving his full attention to Hoseok instead but then—
“Yeah, m’gonna get one on my chest. Ryu’s coming with ‘cause he wants to get this like really cool snake on his shoulder blade.”
Wait what.
“And what are you getting on your chest?”
Jeongguk smiles. “Here, I’ll show you.”
He pulls out his phone, zooming in on a drawing with different patterns and colors. “Something like this, but it’ll blend more with my sleeve.”
Taehyung steals a glance, leaning more forward to look at it properly, and immediately regrets it when he feels himself grow hot over the thought of that being permanent on Jeongguk’s chest.
Fuck.
He needs to get out of this elevator.
“You good?” Hoseok asks, probably noticing how Taehyung’s breaking out a sweat, and slightly shaking.
Jeongguk turns around, curious by his state, and immediately Taehyung pretends to be unbothered.
“Cool, fine. Just…y’know—tired.”
Jimin tries to withhold a laugh, lips pressed tightly as his gaze ping-pongs between Taehyung and Jeongguk.
“Wh—”
Jeongguk doesn’t get to question anything, the elevator doors opening and saving Taehyung from tremendous embarrassment.
Before they part ways, Jimin hugs Taehyung goodnight, and whispers in his ear. “Don’t get a boner.”
Taehyung grits his teeth. “Shut up.”
After Hoseok, and Jimin disappear inside their room, Taehyung moves towards the right door and pulls out the keycard from his shorts. Jeongguk stands closely behind him, Taehyung’s fingers trembling when he presses the card against the sensor before pulling the handle.
The lights are turned off, the room pitch black, and Taehyung tries to find his way around the room—looking for the light switch that can only be activated by sliding the keycard inside it.
There’s no luck, Taehyung feeling like he’s turning around in circles rather than approaching the target. Jeongguk’s no better, shuffling somewhere behind him to search for it as well.
“Any luck?” Jeongguk asks.
“Not really—where the fuck is…” Taehyung’s hands move around the wall until he feels something warm. “What the f—”
He feels it, grabbing it, and Jeongguk’s breath hitches.
“K-Kim.”
“What.”
“That’s my hand you fucking idiot.”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh fuck me.
Flustered, Taehyung drops Jeongguk’s hand, and continues to search for the hidden light switch.
Luckily, it doesn’t take long, the keycard making a weird noise when it’s inserted, and blinking green before every light in the room is turned on.
Taehyung doesn’t spare a single glance towards Jeongguk, hurrying to take off his shoes, and grab his toothpaste and toothbrush from his duffel bag to get everything over with.
This is going to be a long night.
As foam fills his mouth, Taehyung gets a notification on his phone. One hand still holding his toothbrush that moves back and forth, Taehyung clicks on the screen to read the text.
from: minnie
how’s your dick
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Taehyung chokes on the toothpaste, the minty flavor traveling down his throat way too fast. Leaning over the sink, he spits it all out, continuing to cough to get it all out.
When his coughing fit dies down, Taehyung finds strength in his fingers.
to: minnie
fuck u
mfine
from: minnie
right right
cause u definitely weren't gettin horny over the thought of jeongguk’s new tat right right
riiiight
ofc not
riiiuught
to: minnie
and i’m definitely not gonna kill u tmrw right right
yeah no ofc not
right right
from: minnie
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
goodnight u little loser
[seen]
Taehyung rolls his eyes before spitting out the remains of foam in the sink. When he washes off his toothbrush, he splashes cold water on his face to cool off his face that’s been burning hot ever since the newfound information from Jeongguk.
One deep breath in, and Taehyung puts on his nonchalant act the moment he steps out.
It drops the moment he sees him, Jeongguk wearing nothing but a pair of pajama shorts as he walks past him, and closes the door behind him.
Fuck.
Seeing the nipple piercing again messes with Taehyung’s head, conjuring up images of when he had it in his mouth, feeling the cool of the metal against his tongue as he—
Stop.
Slapping his cheek lightly, Taehyung wills himself to push through it with complete ignorance, and to focus on anything other than Jeon Jeongguk.
Okay.
You’re fine.
You can do this.
Taehyung’s throat is a bit dry from the sight, steps a bit uncoordinated when he approaches his bed, and disappears under the sheets. But, really, he’s fine .
The lights are still on when Jeongguk walks out of the bathroom, scratching the lower region of his stomach as he walks past Taehyung who tries his hardest to keep his stare at the ceiling.
“Night,” Taehyung mumbles when he turns over, and switches off the light by the nightstand.
Jeongguk doesn’t respond and turns off his own, the room back to complete darkness.
It’s weird staring into nothing, shadows of furniture and corners vivid for a second before the traces disappear into big blotches of nothing from his vision.
Taehyung closes his eyes, trying to calm down the nerves in his system to gain some proper sleep. Coach Lee and Jihoon, hell even Jeongguk are counting on him tomorrow. He can’t mess it up.
He takes a deep breath but doesn’t get to breathe out because then he hears him.
“Taehyung?”
Breathing out unevenly, Taehyung clears his throat. “Yeah?”
There’s a beat of silence, but it ends just as fast as it started.
“Nothing…it’s nothing. Goodnight.”
What the fuck.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
One minute left.
There’s no luck.
They might lose.
Taehyung makes the mistake of looking beside him, stealing a glance at Jeongguk.
He looks stressed—panicked even. Jeongguk’s hand is reckless, shaking back and forth against his thigh when they move closer by the net.
Somehow, the sight bothers Taehyung. He doesn’t want to think it has anything to do with Jeongguk when he pulls an extra speed in his legs, and a tougher exterior.
The player in front of him doesn’t manage to get the ball from Taehyung, his feet quicker in rolling it in between his legs to create confusion in the opponent.
Moving forward, Jeongguk signals for Taehyung to send it back to them when he’s tackled from behind, feet crumbling and causing him to fall forward.
It doesn’t hurt to fall, but Taehyung feels embarrassed. When he rolls over to get back up, he hears the referee blow the whistle.
“Corner kick for the Red Devils,” He announces loud enough for them to hear, and Jeongguk quickly runs over to Taehyung.
“Hey, you good?”
“Yeah, m’fine. Fuckin’ asshole tackled me,” Taehyung spits, sending a cold glare towards the player who’s laughing with his teammates.
“Yeah, fuck that guy, but hey. When you shoot, don’t think, Kim.”
Taehyung nods. “I know.”
“Good. You got this.”
Jeongguk’s encouragement latches onto Taehyung.
He jogs towards the corner of the field, and catches the ball hidden in the corner with the front of his foot. He takes a deep breath when he places it at the right spot, and notices where his teammates are placed.
Taehyung waits for the signal, taking in a deep breath, and then he goes for it.
The soccer ball flies with full speed, and lands down in the corner, disappearing within the net.
Holy shit!
His teammates run towards him in full speed when it’s caught that they’ve gotten a goal in. Yoongi lurches over Taehyung while Hoseok kisses his head aggressively.
Cheering loudly, Taehyung looks over his teammates shoulder and gains eye contact with Jeongguk.
Shit.
He’s smiling—like really smiling. All of his teeth are showing, and his dimples are visible.
Wow, he has dimples. Jeon Jeongguk has dimples.
And, he’s happy. Taehyung made him happy.
You like making him happy.
Fuck.
Taehyung’s newfound discovery is distracted by the referee signaling the match coming to an end.
After politely bowing to their opponents, they run off from the field, Coach Lee glowing along with Jihoon who’s eyes can’t stop staring at Taehyung.
They praise him, words overlapping but Taehyung revels in it, thanking them continuously until they allow the team to go wash up, and change in the locker rooms.
Walking down the stranded hallway, Taehyung feels a hand on his shoulder, the touch delicate but firm.
Jeongguk.
He turns around, and sees him— smiling at him.
“You did it.”
“I did it,” Taehyung repeats, still having a hard time wrapping around the fact that they won.
“Hey, I—”
Jimin pops in, wrapping an arm around both of them. “We won! We won! Fuck! We really won!”
Taehyung laughs, and Jeongguk’s smile doesn’t drop once.
He’s never looked prettier.
The streets of Anyang are more quiet now, less bustling, and less crowded than in Seoul. Seokjin is in the front with Yoongi, guiding everyone towards the karaoke place to celebrate. Jeongguk’s walking a few meters in front of Taehyung, conversing away with Mingyu and Kwan.
Taehyung can’t stop staring at him.
“How’s it going with your—” Jimin looks around them, making sure they’re in the clear. “Crush.”
Taehyung groans. “Dude—what the fuck?!”
“Calm down you big baby, he can’t hear us,” Jimin says while rolling his eyes.
“It—it’s going great, I’ll be over it in no time.” He says, confident that he’ll be able to, but then Jeongguk tucks his hair cutely behind his ears, and Taehyung wants to fucking die.
You’re fucked.
“Seriously? Damn.”
“Yup,” Taehyung says before his mouth turns bitter with the effects of his lie. “When we’re back in Seoul, I’ll be back to normal.”
Jimin squints his eyes in suspicion. “Alright…whatever you say.”
“Seriously, I’m cool, it’s cool.”
You like seeing him happy, dude. You’re far from cool.
Taehyung internally slaps his conscience, needing it furthest away from him when they enter the karaoke place.
Seokjin and Yoongi handle the practicalities while the rest of the Red Devils look around them, noticing the K-pop posters hanging around, and disco balls hanging from the ceiling. There’s a photobooth in the corner as well with headbands hanging outside on a rack beside it.
Overall, the place is cute. Taehyung grows excited over the fun they’ll have when they start taking turns singing, while drinking a shit ton of soju.
After Seokjin pays, and each from the team sends their share through Naver pay, they’re led inside their private room.
It’s huge. Spacious in the middle, and cornered with wide grey couches. The lights are dimmed, accompanied by colorful spots all around the room. There’s a picture of Anyang on the TV-screen, and a remote beside it. Minho hurries over to it, and starts pressing some buttons to get them to the main menu of the karaoke option.
It takes a while for them to properly settle in, ordering snacks through a tablet, and the soju they were promised.
Taehyung sits down in the middle of the couch, Hoseok joining him on one side, and Yoongi on the other.
Mingyu and Jimin test out the microphones by counting down the numbers, and cracking a few jokes like stand-up comedians which makes the whole team erupt into laughter.
Jeongguk sits by the edge of the couch, holding onto the wide remote for finding karaoke songs, queuing some of them after the boys tell him what they want.
It’s not long after that they hear a knock on the door before a worker steps inside their room, carrying a tray of snacks, and soju bottles.
Jeongguk scoots forward to help her, removing some of their stuff that they placed down onto the coffee table in a hurry to get started. She bows in thanks, and Taehyung swears he sees her blush when Jeongguk smiles in response.
The sight annoys him, jaw clenched, and eyebrows now suddenly tucked into a frown. He crosses his arms, studying her every move, and when she’s about to open her mouth, Taehyung impulsively gets up and butts in.
“We’re good for now, thank you.”
She looks embarrassed, and Taehyung doesn’t care, wanting her furthest away from Jeongguk.
“Okay, let me know if—”
Taehyung pulls a fake smile. “Seriously, we’re good for now. You can go.”
Jeongguk gapes at the interaction but doesn’t say anything until she disappears behind the door.
“What the fuck’s your deal?”
Jeongguk’s tone punches him back to reality, Taehyung’s eyes widening in realization over his actions just now.
“I—nothing.” He ignores Jeongguk’s frown, and grabs a soju bottle and a shot glass, needing to wash down this stupid act of his.
Yoongi, and Hoseok take one with him, gritting their teeth as the liquor washes down their throats. Taehyung’s not a huge fan of soju—but tonight, he doesn’t care.
He doesn’t know why he was so bothered—he just knows he is.
You’re jealous.
Taehyung scoffs, shaking his head because no, no he can’t be jealous. The only jealousy he’s ever felt hadn’t even revolved around Jeongguk or Mina. It was his ego getting bruised, slapped brutally with the fact that someone—in this case Mina—hadn’t even taken interest in him first but fucking Jeon Jeongguk instead of all people.
But this…this feels different.
It's more intense, more out there—so much to the point Taehyung felt an urge to butt in without thinking twice, acting completely out of impulse.
Rather than putting himself first in the situation, he only feels extreme discomfort. He didn’t like that she was blushing because of him . He didn’t like that she looked at him . He didn’t l—
Taehyung takes a shot, the answer hanging heavy in the air.
Fuck.
So much for getting over it. So much for trying.
Kwan, and Minho go first, singing as a duo while the rest of the team cheers, Taehyung included despite his head feeling heavy with immense thoughts.
It goes on for a few hours, time running from them, and fun never stopping.
Taehyung gets more and more drunk, losing count on how many times he’s thrown his head back to take a shot of soju. His teammates aren’t any better, swaying a bit even as they’ve sat down, or walking clumsily around to grab ahold of the microphones by the screen. Jimin is swiping on the tablet, ordering more snacks while Minho talks to him about a girl he hooked up with not long ago who seems to be ghosting him.
Kwan and Yoongi go out to smoke, and then the worker walks in with another tray filled with snacks.
She glances at Jeongguk when she places it down, smiling when he looks at her, and Taehyung can’t watch.
Too drunk to care, he gets up, and grabs the karaoke machine from Jeongguk who’s holding it loosely between both hands.
“H—”
“Wanna sing a song,” Taehyung interrupts. “Gonna sing one hell of a song. A really good fucking song. Yeah. A hit, a classic fucking hit—that, that everyone knows. Yeah.”
The girl looks at him weirdly but takes it upon her queue to leave. Taehyung sticks his tongue out at her when she’s not looking.
Yeah, get the fuck away from him.
Fingers a bit shaky, Taehyung types a few letters, and clicks on the first thing he can find.
The instrumental breaks out, and then he grabs the microphone from Namjoon who was just done rapping a song, but Taehyung can’t seem to figure out which.
The song he picked out is in English. Taehyung’s confused when the first lines appear on the screen but then he recognizes the song and hops in on it. Sure, the lyrics say everything he’s been feeling lately despite being in denial but he’s drunk, and he wants Jeongguk to look at him and not some random worker in Anyang.
His teammates stare at him weirdly as he sings incoherent words, messing up the lyrics but his heart is in it.
Jeongguk blinks in confusion, and while it should encourage Taehyung to stop , he doesn’t. He keeps going, waiting for the chorus to happen, where it spells it out from top to bottom.
“I really, really, really, really, really, really like y—” Taehyung’s about to point towards Jeongguk when Jimin runs forward to grab the microphone from his hand.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Jimin yells in a harsh whisper while the song continues to play out loudly.
Taehyung pouts. “You’re ruining my show!”
“Okay, buddy. We’re going back to the hotel. You’re fucking wasted.”
They step off the small stage, Taehyung’s arm hanging around Jimin’s shoulders.
“I was gonna tell him!”
“Shut up. Shut up, Taehyung.”
Jeongguk gets up, frowning in confusion. “What’s going on?”
“He’s drunk. Gonna bring him back to the hotel.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I’m fine, mom .”
Jeongguk laughs.
“Jeonggukie. You’re here.” Taehyung’s eyes soften. “Did you listen? Did you ge—?”
Jimin slaps a hand over his mouth, muffling the rest of Taehyung’s sentence. “He’s saying nonsense right now. Don’t listen to him. It’s the soju.”
“Uh…okay. I can stay with Hobi-hyung tonight if anything.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.”
It’s the last thing Taehyung remembers before everything turns black.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
A week has passed, and Taehyung feels like shit.
Jimin had been kind enough to fill him in on what he had done during karaoke night, and had patted his back when his stomach acted up due to the alcohol the next morning before their bus came to pick them up. He had advised Taehyung to stop running from it, to deal with his growing feelings instead of denying it, but Taehyung had been too hungover to take his advice literally.
The train ride was calm, Taehyung by the window, Jimin next to him, blocking Jeongguk out of his sight.
There hasn’t been any direct contact with Jeongguk since they came back to Seoul, and Taehyung is grateful for that, still overcoming the extreme embarrassment.
But it doesn’t remove the fact that shit happened, and that Taehyung’s basically haunted by what he did.
from: minnie
where are u
i just got home
to: minnie
heading towards the tat shop
got my appointment today
from: minnie
oh shit that’s today???
alright
how’re u holding up
to: minnie
still feel like strangling myself
but like
less than a few days ago
from: minnie
progress
that’s good
to: minnie
also getting this tat will get my mind off things
from: minnie
things aka jeon jeongguk
to: minnie
funny :)
from: minnie
oh come on
i told u to stop denying it
it’ll only get worse if u do
to: minnie
i might get over it bro
who knows
from: minnie
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
to: minnie
i’m serious
i could
from: minnie
and hoba-hyung is straight
seriously tae
to: minnie
YOU NEVER KNOW
from: minnie
dare i remind u that it’s the same guy that threw up all over your new shoes at the first semester party
and somehow you still fucked him after that 😊 (ew i hated saying that)
good luck getting over it
to: minnie
WHY WOJLD YOU BRING THAT UP?!??!?
MY PLAN BACKFIRED OKAY
fuck off
i’m not talking to u about it anymore
Taehyung walks down the three steps as he shoves down his phone in the pocket of his shorts before opening the door to the tattoo parlor.
“Hey, what can I do for you today?” A woman covered in tattoos paired with a short pixie cut asks while chewing on a piece of gum.
“I have an appointment today. Kim Taehyung?”
Her acrylic nails tap onto the keyboard, and then she hums. “Nari is your tattoo artist for the day. You can wait over here, and she’ll be with you in a sec.”
Taehyung sits down on the couch the woman pointed at, and scrolls mindlessly on his phone while he waits.
“Kim Taehyung-ssi?”
He looks up, and is greeted by a girl who looks a few years older than him, and who’s decorated with colorful tattoos on both her arms.
“That’s me. Hey, how’re you doing?”
“I’m good. Come with me.”
Taehyung sits down on the leather chair while Nari grabs her tablet.
“Okay, so, this is what I made. What do you think?”
The font is beautiful, rich around the corners yet solid enough for it to be seen. Taehyung’s heart flutters at the sight of it, and as he imagines it on his skin.
“It’s perfect. Better than I expected.”
Nari smiles. “That’s great. I'll print out the date in a few different sizes, and I’ll be back.”
The song in the speakers of the shop keeps Taehyung company, and the countless details on the walls of the parlor. All kinds of things are displayed, from pictures with celebrities to old photos that showcase the parlor’s history.
“Alright, here they are.”
Taehyung grabs the paper still hot from the printer, and studies the different sizes.
After deciding on getting a medium-ish size, Nari disappears again to create the stencil.
Taehyung’s phone buzzes continuously in his pocket, but he ignores it, knowing it’s just Jimin spamming him about random shit like usual.
Nari comes back, and Taehyung guides her on where to put the tattoo on his thigh.
“I think I want it to be visible when I wear shorts because it’s really important to me, so maybe right above my knee-ish? Would that be possible?”
“Yeah, what about here?” She doesn’t press it down yet, keeps it right above until Taehyung gives her the go.
“Great, exactly what I had in mind, thanks.”
“No worries.” She grabs onto a disposable razor, and some disinfecting soap, pouring a bit over the area where Taehyung wants the tattoo.
It tickles when she shaves off the hair, but Taehyung remains quiet with pressed lips.
They double check in the mirror when the stencil is placed down onto his thigh, and it isn’t until Taehyung is certain that they start.
“It’s gonna look great,” Nari tells him before she goes quiet, and concentrates on the lines of the numbers as the needle presses down onto Taehyung’s skin.
As the buzzing sound erupts between them, Taehyung slumps more and more against the chair, feeling very relaxed. He doesn’t pick up his phone but rather stares around the shop, noticing they have a room in the back.
“Do you do tattoos in the back as well?” Taehyung asks.
Nari wipes down some of the excess before answering. “Yeah, it mostly depends on the location of the tattoo. We don’t want people to feel exposed out here if they’re shirtless, or half naked while getting them.”
“Ah, got it.”
“Can I ask why you’re getting this specific date? You said it was important to you.”
Taehyung nods. “I don’t mind—it’s uh, my siblings’ birth date. And well, the day I became a big brother so there’s a lot of meaning to it. I’m actually surprising them with it in less than two weeks. Kinda nervous about what they’ll think.”
Nari gasps. “Twins? Wow. I’ve rarely met a pair of twins.”
“Yeah, not identical though. I think that part would’ve scared me a bit as a kid,” Taehyung admits, and Nari laughs.
“I can imagine, but I’m sure they’ll love it. They’re turning sixteen this year, right?”
Taehyung nods. “Yeah, they’re growing up super fast, I almost can’t keep up.”
Nari hums. “Tell me about it. I have a younger brother, and he’s turning nineteen in a week.”
“Damn, he’s gonna go crazy.”
“Yeah, most likely. It’s gonna feel weird to see him go out with his friends.”
Taehyung doesn’t get to answer, hearing someone make a noise of excitement in the back room which catches him off guard.
“Oh—someone’s in the back?”
“Two, actually. Roommates, kinda cute.”
Taehyung’s hands turn clammy suddenly. “What uh—what’d they look like?”
Nari takes a moment to think. “Uh—one of them had piercings, and the other…I don’t remember much, sorry. Do you know them?”
“Nah, sorry, curious that’s all.” Taehyung sends her a thin lipped smile.
“Okay.”
It can’t be. Taehyung’s definitely tripping. Because really, why would Ryu and Jeongguk get their tattoos today of all days? That’s impossible. Besides, there’s plenty of roommates in Seoul who get tattoos done together.
When Nari reaches halfway with Taehyung’s tattoo, more noise erupts in the back.
“Check it out in the mirror outside, there’s better lightning,” A man says, and then the sliding door opens.
Taehyung freezes in his seat, enough for Nari to grab ahold of his skin.
“Hey, remember to relax. You’re super tense, and it’s kind of hard to work with.”
“S-sorry.” Taehyung tries to but he has a hard time because Jeon Jeongguk just stepped out shirtless, the upper part of his shoulder, and chest area covered in a new ink.
Fuck.
On top of that, the lightning in the room accentuates his muscles, the defined lines down his back, and on his shoulders.
Taehyung gawks shamelessly everywhere, and especially at the new tattoo.
He feels a twitch in his shorts, the bulge turning more and more prominent before he can stop it. Taehyung flushes in embarrassment, covering it with one hand which Nari notices.
“It’s cool, don’t worry. This has happened to a few of my earlier clients before, believe it or not. You’re good.”
Taehyung knows she’s referring to accidental hard-ons which aren’t unusual but this couldn’t be more on purpose. He’s aroused; aroused by fucking Jeon Jeongguk shirtless, and his new tattoo.
Yeah, maybe Jimin’s right, he’s never getting over it.
Thankfully, Jeongguk doesn’t notice Taehyung hiding his boner, too busy looking at the new tattoo in the wide mirror.
“It looks fucking sick!” Ryu says, stepping out as well, and Taehyung notices the new snake tattoo on his shoulder blade.
“It blends really well, right?” Jeongguk asks, eyes roaming all over his chest and shoulder area, an exact copy of what Taehyung’s been doing ever since he stepped out.
“Incredible. It looks insane.”
Jeongguk turns around, and then his eyes widen when he spots Taehyung.
“Uh—hey.”
Taehyung gulps, and juts his chin out to remain cool. “Sup.”
Ryu’s next to notice him, more energetic in his greeting. “You’re here too?! Damn, hey Tae. What are you getting?”
“I—uh…” Taehyung debates whether to share the personal information or not, the situation a bit awkward seeing he’s fucking hard currently . “It—”
The back door slides open, interrupting him.
“All good?” The tattoo artist asks when he peeks his head out from it.
“Yeah, yeah it’s perfect, thanks, hyung.”
“Great, I just need to put on a second skin, and you’re good to go.”
Ryu makes a small wave towards Taehyung when he follows Jeongguk back inside.
Jeongguk remains quiet.
“So you do know them.”
Taehyung chuckles awkwardly. “Yeah, we’re neighbors and go to uni together.”
“Ah.” Nari keeps her lips sealed but Taehyung can tell she wants to say something.
“What—what is it?”
“Hm? Nothing—nothing. It’s not my place to—never mind. We’re almost done here, don’t worry. Just gotta fill it out.”
“Okay.” Taehyung looks around, wanting to make sure Ryu and Jeongguk don’t overhear. “Actually, can you just say it? My curiosity is kinda killing me over here.”
Nari chuckles. “Okay. Well, it’s just, are you involved with one of them? Could feel some sort of tension there for a hot minute.”
Taehyung gapes. “I—” He did not expect that. “You—I mean, I honestly don’t know. It’s complicated, a mess really. Something I’d rather get over.”
Nari’s eyebrow raises. “Really? To me it looks like you’ve got a shot.”
Taehyung laughs, the comment so ridiculous it kills his boner in an instant. “Yeah, no. Never.”
She goes quiet, and thank God she does because Jeongguk, and Ryu step out not too long after.
“Thank you for everything, Kun-woo hyung,” Jeongguk says while bowing, and Ryu copies him by thanking him just as much.
“You were great. Seriously, thank you hyung.”
Kun-woo brushes them off lightly. “Alright, alright. You know I don’t do well with praise. I’ll see you around, okay?”
They nod in unison before walking past Taehyung.
“How’s it looking?” Ryu asks with pure curiosity.
Nari answers him. “Almost there.”
“Hell yeah. What’re you getting?”
“Uh—” Well, here goes nothing. “My siblings' birth date.”
Ryu widens his eyes, and Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.
“You have siblings?”
Taehyung nods. “Yeah, yeah younger siblings. They’re twins.”
Jeongguk’s eyes drop down to the floor, and Taehyung can’t help but wonder why he looks so…upset suddenly.
“That’s really sweet, Tae.”
“Yeah, that’s nice,” Jeongguk compliments, gaze still glued to the floor.
Taehyung feels his face heat up. “Th-thanks.”
Ryu’s jacket gets tugged by Jeongguk, and then he smiles apologetically to Taehyung. “We gotta get somewhere but hopefully I see you around?”
“Yeah—yeah sure, I’ll see you.”
What was that all about?
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Taehyung’s confused when he hears loud music from the living room. He shouts at Jimin to turn off whatever he’s doing but there’s no response.
Angry and still in a sleepy state, Taehyung rubs his eyes down as he steps out of his bedroom to directly scold his roommate.
“Jimin, what the fuck—” Taehyung blinks. “...are you doing…”
Jeongguk’s standing in front of him, fully naked, his cock rock hard while holding a bottle of strawberry lube.
“I—”
Taehyung doesn’t know where to look. At his new tattoo, or his piercing, or his cock, or his abs, or his thighs or—
“Hey, big boy.” Jeongguk takes a step closer, enough for Taehyung to feel his cock brush against the material of his boxers, bulge prominent just from the sight of Jeongguk alone.
“J-Jeongguk. What—what are—”
Jeongguk places a finger on his lips. “Want you so fucking bad.”
Taehyung gulps. “You…”
“Yeah—I want you. I want you, Taehyung.”
Oh fuck.
“Jeongguk. I want—” Taehyung tries to catch his breath. “I want to kiss you.”
“Kiss me.”
Taehyung doesn’t hesitate, and kisses Jeongguk roughly.
His mouth feels hot and warm, tongue soft against his own and Taehyung feels himself grow dizzy. He’s craved this, longed for it without realizing because kissing Jeongguk again makes him feel alive.
“Jeongguk…” Taehyung takes a deep breath. “I—”
“Shh. Come here.” Jeongguk takes him by the hand, and pushes him down onto the couch, straddling his lap. “Don’t think. Don't think, Taehyung.”
Oh my fucking God.
Taehyung does as told, doesn’t think when he runs his hands everywhere, feeling the softness of Jeongguk’s arms, his abs, his thighs— fuck , his thighs.
A moan slips out from Taehyung’s mouth, already so out of it by just feeling the weight of Jeongguk on top of him. Shit. He’s so fucking done for.
“You want it?” Jeongguk asks with a sly smile.
Taehyung nods eagerly, grinding against him pathetically. “Want—want…Yeah.”
Jeongguk smiles, and grabs his face roughly. “Admit it first.”
Taehyung frowns. “What.”
“Admit you like me. Come on, say it. Don’t run from it.”
How’d he—
“Y-You know?!”
“Of course I do.” Jeongguk runs a finger against his neck, watching it move further down. “Come on, Taehyung. Admit it. Say you like me.”
“Shit—I…” Taehyung grits his teeth. “I—I like you!”
Jeongguk melts against him, pecking his lips gently. “Good job.”
Taehyung’s just about to tilt his head to lock their lips again when he feels a rough pull to his shoulder.
Wha—
“Taehyung? Tae?! Dude. Jesus, cover yourself up.”
Taehyung blinks his eyes awake, realizing he’s in his own bed.
“I—” He’s interrupted by a soccer ball landing flatly on his face. “Ow—what the fuck!”
“Wake up! And, get—” Jimin grimaces. “Get rid of that. Come on, we have practice in twenty minutes,” he shouts before walking out of Taehyung’s room, and slamming the door.
Taehyung stares down at his hard-on in disbelief of what just happened.
It felt real. It must’ve been real. There’s no way that was a dream—Jeongguk was just here and—
If it felt real, then you have your answer.
You, Kim Taehyung, really like Jeon Jeonggu—
Fuck.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“So you’ve worked here for a while?”
Taehyung hums.
“That’s so cool. I really like your glasses, by the way. They make your biceps stand out in your t-shirt. You look good in that, like really good.” Her hand slides forward, and Taehyung takes a step back.
“Uh—it’s just a black shirt,” Taehyung answers monotonously, gaze stuck to the glass he’s currently polishing with a dish cloth.
“You still look really good. Your apron, too, looks really good.”
If she says the word ‘good’ one more time—
“Hey, when do you get off work? I was thinking we could—”
Taehyung pauses, and finally raises his glance towards the guest in front of him. “No thanks.”
“Wow. Seriously?”
Taehyung clenches his jaw. “Does it look like I’m fucking joking.”
The girl scoffs in offense, standing up to leave, uncaring that there’s still a few sips left of her drink. Taehyung lets her, completely unbothered by her act.
Ever since he came back from Anyang and had that hot steamy dream of Jeongguk, Taehyung had forbidden himself to sleep properly. He was scared of seeing fantasy Jeongguk again, of what else he’d make him admit.
So, now he’s here, looking like a dead zombie while polishing wine glasses at work.
Despite being a bit out of it, Taehyung’s reminded of Jimin’s word of advice the morning after karaoke.
The more you deny it, the worse it gets.
He can’t afford another wet dream, he can’t afford to lose more sleep like this, not when they have the Daegu game in two days.
It’s not worth it anymore.
Taehyung has admitted defeat.
He likes Jeongguk, and is oh so extremely fucked because of it.
It’s odd being at work and actually working instead of flirting with guests to get an insane amount of tips to make up for it. Taehyung’s surprising not only himself but his co-workers as well. One of them had even asked him about his puffy eye bags, and Taehyung had shrugged them off, not wanting to be reminded of fantasy Jeongguk while at work.
Taehyung’s grateful that his boss isn’t in for the day because if he were, he’s certain his boss would’ve asked him if he’s okay, hell even if he needs a day off by the looks of his state.
He goes back to wiping down and polishing the newly washed wine glasses, hanging them right above him after. As he does, he can’t help it and thinks about Jeongguk, real life Jeongguk and his dimpled smile—the one he gave him after Taehyung had made them win against Anyang. It’s stuck to his mind, repeating itself like a time-looped memory. Taehyung smiles without noticing it—at least not until his manager, Noria, points it out.
“Okay, seriously, who is it?” She asks behind him while adjusting her apron.
“Huh?”
“Who’s got you all tired, loyal, smiling and hardworking?”
Taehyung instantly drops his smile. “No one.”
“Bullshit. You’re working, Taehyung. Like actually working. Who are you? Who did this to you?”
“Thank you, noona. That was really nice of you,” Taehyung replies sarcastically.
Noria throws her head back, and laughs loudly, some guests turning their heads while chewing on their food. “You used to only be motivated in earning tips, sue me. But, seriously, whoever it is, they must be really special. I never thought I’d see you like this.”
“Okay, okay, can I go back to work now?”
Noria smiles. “Change looks good on you, Taehyung. You’ve never been better.”
She’s not wrong. It’s been a while since they’ve been so far ahead with orders, Taehyung concentrated to the core that it only added more speed to their team of waiters, runners and bartenders.
“Oh—before I leave, I’m sending you home early. There’s not much to do, and your eyebags tell me you need it. So, I’m sending you home instead of Dae when you’re done with the glasses.”
Taehyung smiles with all of his teeth. “Really? Thanks, noona.”
Noria brushes him off. “No worries.”
As Taehyung reaches over halfway with the set of glasses, he takes a small break when there’s not really that much left, and checks his phone.
There’s notifications from the Red Devils group chat a few hours ago.
Red Devils™️
jeongguk
[video]
[video]
[video]
ha
we’re fucked
hoseok
nah they’ve got nothing on us
we’re good guk
don’t worry
yoongi
what hoba said
we’re a better team than daegu ever will be
i used to play w one of them and he ate shit more than he scored
jeongguk
the video shows otherwise
yoongi
don’t worry guk
we’ve got this
[read by jeongguk]
Taehyung clicks on the videos. They’re displaying some of the players from the Daegu, crushing it against other teams, and winning with a high score.
Damn.
No wonder Jeongguk’s freaking out.
Shit.
Jeongguk’s freaking out.
Taehyung shoves his phone down his pocket, heart racing at the thought of Jeongguk being out on the field again, overworking himself to feel less stressed about the possibility of winning. He never wants to see him again like that; shaking, drenched in sweat, pupils blown wide, and veins prominent in his neck.
The worst part about that night was that Jeongguk hadn’t looked like himself, so much to the point it scared Taehyung.
His hands turn clammy, almost dropping a glass when he goes to hang it up, wanting to get out of work as soon as possible.
When he finishes the tray, Noria gives him the go to leave. Taehyung’s never rushed out as fast, untying the apron, and throwing it into the laundry basket on his way out.
It’s already dark when Taehyung steps out of the café, the street lights on, flickering poorly when he reaches the main street before the apartment complex comes into view. Taehyung knows he shouldn’t do it, but he’s worried. He’s worried sick, and he can’t control it.
When he gets inside the elevator, he frantically pushes the floor level, begging it to move as soon as possible. Taehyung catches his breath when the door opens and it starts to move, the vibrations humming through the walls, and floor.
“Please be home, please be home, please—”
The metallic doors open, Taehyung rushing out through them, quick in his steps. He runs both hands through his hair to calm himself down as he jogs forward to the right place.
When Taehyung stands by the front door, he rings the doorbell without thinking.
The light emits in the hallway not long after, and then it’s pushed open by Hector.
“Taehyung? Shit—barely recognized you with your glasses on. Sorry—what uh, what are you doing here?”
Shit. Think, think think—
“Jimin lent something to Ryu, and uh, he wants it back.”
Hector hums. “Ah, okay. Wanna come in?”
“Yeah—yeah that’d be great.”
Taehyung follows him inside the apartment, removing his shoes, and joining Hector in the living room. Jackson’s glued to the couch, eyes directed onto his laptop while wearing some bulky headphones but when he feels Taehyung’s presence, he directs his eyes towards him and tucks the headset down, and around his neck.
“Hey, Taehyung.”
“Hey, hyung.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Looking for Ryu. He’s uh—got something of Jimin’s that he needs before we go to Daegu tomorrow.”
“He’s in his room.” Jackson says, tilting his head in the right direction.
Taehyung nods. “Okay, thanks.”
Before Taehyung can move around the living room and towards the right room, Ryu steps out.
“I ran out of condoms—oh fuck! What the fuck?! You scared me!” Ryu holds a hand over his heart after screaming loudly. “Jesus, I feel like my heart’s gonna burst out of my chest.”
“Sorry—shit, my bad, sorry. It’s uh—”
“Are you wearing glasses?” Ryu asks while trying to catch his breath.
Taehyung tries not to laugh at the sudden question. “Yeah, mostly at work.”
And to cover your ‘Jeon Jeongguk has gotten to me’ eyebags.
Ryu’s about to open his mouth to say more when Jeongguk steps out of his room, eyes puffy, and a tiny sprout of hair on the back of his head.
Taehyung swoons at the sight.
He’s here. Jeongguk’s here. He’s home.
“Why are you screaming? I was sleeping you fucking idiot,” Jeongguk scolds, slapping Ryu on the arm harshly.
“Ow! Taehyung scared me, okay! That’s not my fault.”
Immediately, Jeongguk opens his eyes fully. “Uh…hi.”
“Hi.”
Thank God you’re here.
It goes quiet in the apartment, Jeongguk not looking away once from Taehyung.
Shit.
Can he see it? Can he see that Taehyung’s been having wet dreams about him? That he likes him?
Hector smacks his lips. “So…Taehyung’s actually here for you, Ryu.”
Jeongguk cuts off the eye contact, and Taehyung feels like he can finally catch his breath.
“Really? What do you need?” Ryu asks.
“Uh—Jimin said something about a shirt you have of his. He needs it for Daegu tomorrow.”
Ryu frowns in confusion. “I don’t have a shirt of his.”
Taehyung feels himself grow hot under his shirt.
Shit.
“Oh? Really? He, uh, told me that—”
Jackson gets up, and interrupts Taehyung. “Oh, that . Yeah, sorry, I have it. It’s in my room. Come on.”
Taehyung tries not to overthink the reason behind the fact that Jackson is currently saving him from embarrassment. Instead, he trails behind him until they’re inside his bedroom.
“You’re not really here for a shirt, are you?” Jackson notes as soon as Taehyung closes the door to calm himself down, skin turning more damp by the second.
“W—”
“Why are you actually here, Taehyung?” Jackson asks softly. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”
“The-the shirt.”
“Taehyung.”
Fuck it. He’s fucked either way, and besides, Jackson can be trusted. Jimin told him himself when they started to date shortly after New Year’s.
Here goes nothing.
Taking a deep breath, Taehyung blurts it out. “I’m here for Je—”
“I know. I know, Taehyung.”
Taehyung widens his eyes. “Y-You know?”
He nods. “Knew there was something there when I met you both.”
Taehyung’s mouth drops. “You—how?!”
Jackson shrugs. “Gut feeling.”
No wonder he’s super chill about it.
“That’s—that’s crazy, hyung.” Taehyung chuckles in shock while scratching his nape due to feeling so exposed suddenly.
“So, you’re here to say goodnight to him? Or?” Jackson jokes to lighten up the situation.
Taehyung shakes his head with a small smile.
“No. He, uh, sounded really stressed in the groupchat about Daegu so I just wanted to check up on him. Make sure he’s okay.”
Jackson’s gaze softens. “He’s okay, don’t worry. He’s getting proper help. What happened before Busan won’t happen again.”
Taehyung doesn’t ask about what Jackson meant by the word help, sensing it’s a private detail that doesn’t revolve around him. Besides, what matters now is knowing Jeongguk won’t repeat previous mistakes and get himself hurt.
“Here.” Jackson throws him a t-shirt before it turns too silent between them. “That’s Jimin’s.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
“No,” Jackson laughs, and Taehyung can’t help but do it too. “I’m saving your ass, Taehyung, remember? Oh, and your secret’s safe with me. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you. Just, thank you, hyung.”
“Now, go out there, play it cool, say goodnight and get some sleep.”
Taehyung nods, and does exactly as told.
They walk back out, Taehyung holding tightly onto Jackson’s t-shirt, scared to drop it due to his nerves still a bit unsettled after finding out he knows everything .
Jeongguk’s in the middle of scratching his stomach, revealing the lower part of his abs, and Taehyung loses his mind at the sight.
“Night,” he blurts out before running towards the entrance to grab his shoes, and rush home.
Great, so much for playing it cool.
When Taehyung sinks into this bed later that night, he stares at the ceiling and thinks about their upcoming match against Daegu.
If you win you get to see Jeongguk’s dimpled smile again.
Taehyung giggles against the covers at the thought, slapping his cheek lightly right after because that was way too much.
Be cool. Jesus, Taehyung.
Clearing his throat, Taehyung adjusts himself under the covers, rolling back and forth, lifting and stretching his legs until he finds the right position to lay in.
It’s quiet in his room for a moment, Taehyung sighing deeply before he closes his eyes, and tries to get a decent amount of hours in for tomorrow. He needs it to be in proper shape for practice before their match against Daegu.
This time, Taehyung’s not scared to fall asleep, and he’s not scared of facing fantasy Jeongguk if it happens.
Notes:
ktg!jk: h-
ktg!th: *gets a boner*
on a serious note, did anyone count how many boners this mf had this chapter? 🤔
Chapter 20
Summary:
“Jeongguk.”
“Hm?”
“I—what if we…”
Notes:
cw for this chapter, includes slight spoilers !!!
- there's a scene where a character has a panic attack, if you think you might be triggered by it, i suggest you don't read it. please read at your own risk :’)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It finally settles when Taehyung looks into the mirror after shaving his face.
He did it.
They’re in the semifinals.
They’re doing it.
They can win.
They have a shot .
Taehyung’s never been one to believe in such things, in himself even, but Jeongguk’s touch on his shoulder continues to linger along with his words of encouragement.
You did it.
Smiling from ear to ear, Taehyung’s fingers buzz with excitement when he goes to grab his toothbrush only to be interrupted by a loud buzz from his phone.
from: unknown number
hey
Taehyung almost trips, grabbing the phone with both hands because this can’t be.
Why is Jeongguk texting him?!
Taking a deep breath, Taehyung mutters to himself. “You got this. Act cool. Act cool.”
to: unknown number
supppp
Taehyung cringes over sending too many P’s but it’s too late. Jeongguk’s already read it, and the text bubbles show up in the corner of his screen. Taehyung feels like he can’t breathe.
from: unknown number
ryu can’t reach jimin but he wanted to know if u guys needed a ride again
to: unknown number
yeah
that’d be great
thanks
from: unknown number
ok cool
we’re in the car in 10
to: unknown number
got it
thanks again
from: unknown number
👍
Taehyung blinks.
Did Jeon Jeongguk just send him an emoji? Like an actual emoji?!
Holy shit.
While Taehyung changes Jeongguk’s contact number to his name with the said emoji, Jimin shouts from the kitchen, interrupting his extreme giddiness to the point he almost finds himself giggling again.
“Did you eat your breakfast?!”
“Yeah! I did!”
After putting his phone down in his pocket, Taehyung catches his reflection, the smile never seeming to drop from his face no matter how hard he tries because Jeon Jeongguk texted him, and he sent him a fucking emoji.
“Shit,” Taehyung breathes out while shaking his head a bit.
It’s weird, the whole accepting it thing but oddly enough, it feels good. Taehyung feels more light, more able, and it’s exactly the kind of mindset he needs for the match.
It’s what he needs to make them win.
To win for Jeongguk.
After brushing his teeth, and spilling a bit on the front of his black tank top, Taehyung meets Jimin in the hallway.
“Ryu, and Jeongguk are gonna take us.”
Jimin raises an eyebrow, not expecting it. “What?”
“Yeah, Ryu tried to reach you but he couldn’t.”
Jimin curses. “I haven’t really checked my phone this morning, ‘was scared you’d take a shower before me, and you take forever .”
Taehyung chuckles. “Thank you.”
“Huh?”
Taehyung grabs Jimin’s face, kissing him roughly on both cheeks, and then his forehead. “I fucking love you.”
Jimin gapes in confusion. “I—Are you fucking high?”
Taehyung smiles while shaking his head. “Nope!”
“You look fucking high.”
“Let’s go.”
“Taehyung, seriously, did you take something?”
“They’re waiting for us!” Taehyung rushes to say as he opens the door, swinging the duffel bag over his upper body, and stepping out.
“Taehyung!”
The door closes, Taehyung steals a glance downwards while putting on a dark blue snapback to tame his wild bed hair, and notices Ryu’s car, Jeongguk shoving his stuff in the back. They’re talking about something, and Ryu’s definitely teasing Jeongguk with something because he keeps rolling his eyes. Taehyung can’t help but wonder if it’s in relation to Jeongguk texting him.
It’s one thing to be giddy in private, but Taehyung immediately drops it the moment Jeongguk spots him.
Taehyung thinks it’s easier that way, less telling because there is so much going on where their full attention is needed.
They’ve already come so far. Taehyung never thought they would, neither did Jeongguk by the looks of it.
He can’t mess that up now.
“Sup’.”
Jeongguk barely glances his way, too busy looking for something in his duffel bag. “Hi.”
“Thanks again.”
Ryu smiles while leaning against the front door of the car. “Gonna call shotgun again?” He teases, reminding Taehyung of how he had so quickly run off to the front when they had gone to Anyang.
“No, no it’s okay. Jimin can have it. He prefers it either way.”
Jimin appears from behind. “Damn right.”
They laugh lightly while moving around, Taehyung grabbing Jimin’s stuff and putting them in the back of the car.
Jeongguk is already seated with a water bottle in between his legs when Taehyung joins him on the other side with extreme courage.
Maybe it’s not courage, maybe it’s just the need to be close to him, to what he feels, just for a moment.
A moment before everything gets real, and the pressure pushes them harshly on the field.
Taehyung knows it’s a bit selfish, but it makes him feel too good to stop it now.
Despite the bit of distance between them, Jeongguk’s presence feels loud, warm and Taehyung’s heart beats uncontrollably in his chest.
Fuck.
He steals a glance sideways, noticing how relaxed Jeongguk looks with them being in close proximity. Taehyung doesn’t want to read too much into it but it feels like a good sign.
Taehyung keeps staring, counts the moles on Jeongguk’s face now that he can’t seem to stop but is forced to when he feels a buzz in his pocket.
Taehyung checks the notification, and immediately smiles from ear to ear when he reads it.
from: mom
Jieun and Junseo are excited for today.
When are you getting here Taebear?
to: mom
me too
i’ll be there at the latest 11! gotta drop off my things at the hotel and then i’ll take the bus
from: mom
Okay. I’ll see you soon.
I love you.
❤️
to: mom
i love you too
“So, semifinals, huh. That’s big,” Ryu compliments, grinning in excitement for them. It must be big for him too considering he’s seen how much work Jeongguk has put into this.
“Yeah, never expected it.” Taehyung says with full honesty, Jimin nodding in agreement. Jeongguk remains quiet.
“You’re from Daegu, right?”
“Yeah, born and raised. Actually I—” Taehyung’s heart grows with what he says next. “I’m seeing my siblings and my mom today.”
Ryu’s expression softens. “That’s sweet. Are they coming to see you play, as well?”
Taehyung hums. “Yeah, they’ll be there.”
“I hope you guys win,” Ryu says when the station comes into view from afar.
“Me too…” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath, just loud enough for Taehyung to hear it.
We will, Jeongguk.
The weather in Daegu is better than in Anyang. It’s humid which isn’t unusual for the month of July in South Korea.
There’s barely any wind, and the moment they step off the bus that had lack of air conditioning, Taehyung grabs the hem of his tank top and wipes down his chin, and temples. His teammates aren’t doing any better, chugging water from their water bottles as soon as they gain access to their bags.
Mingyu opens his, and pours it down on his neck while in a crouching position, Jeongguk joining him, the ends of his curly, long hair now wet.
Taehyung’s throat grows dry at the sight.
“Reds! Here are your rooms…”
Coach Lee fans out his face with the beaten up, and old baseball cap of his. Jihoon does it with a sheet of paper, as they list off the names assigned to the hotel rooms.
Taehyung drowns it out for the most part, the heat getting to him until he catches his name.
“Minho, Taehyung, 406. Jeongguk, Jimin, 407…”
Jimin leans forward, chin on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Don’t get jealous.”
“Shut up,” Taehyung shrugs. “And, besides I’m not.”
“You’re not?”
Taehyung almost giggles again when he reminisces about their conversation over text earlier. “Nope.”
“Uh…” Jimin frowns.
“He sent me an emoji. Me. ”
Jimin blinks. “Wait what.”
Taehyung cranes his neck, met with Jimin’s confused expression. “He sent me a fucking emoji!”
“Wh—?”
“Jeongguk.”
Jimin’s just about to blurt out another word to prove his confusion, but Taehyung acts quicker, and shoves his phone screen in his face for proof.
“See?! A fucking emoji!”
His roommate laughs loudly, their teammates eyeing them in curiosity but Taehyung’s too offended by Jimin’s current act to care.
“What’s so funny?”
“That’s a thumbs up. That doesn’t count.”
“It does—it—”
“My dad sends me that.”
Taehyung drops his mouth, and scoffs. “Fuck you, I’m gonna go find Minho. You suck.”
“Taehyung.”
He flicks him off as he walks, joining Minho by the hip who has his nose buried in the screen of his phone.
“Hey, roomie,” Taehyung says, Minho’s eyes flicking upwards before directing back to his phone.
“Hey, Tae.”
“Did you get our keycard?”
Minho winces. “Sorry—I…”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
After grabbing the two plastic white cards from Jihoon, Taehyung joins Minho again, and they start walking towards the elevators. Jimin and Jeongguk join them on the ride, and there’s small talk back and forth until they reach the right floor.
Jeongguk seems to be in his own world, his eyes stuck onto the ground the whole time, almost as if he’s scared to acknowledge that they’re in the semifinals. Maybe it makes things easier for him.
Taehyung doesn’t dwell on it too long, the excitement of seeing his mom, and siblings taking over when he gets inside the hotel room with Minho trailing closely behind.
“Sick room,” Minho comments before he goes back to typing on his phone. Taehyung doesn’t bother to ask, placing his duffel bag in the room instead.
“You can choose whichever bed you want. I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.”
Minho grabs him by the bicep before he gets to take another step. “Wait, Taehyung, can I ask for your advice?”
“Uh, sure. What’s up?”
“I’m texting this girl, Cecilia, she’s an exchange student and I just—how’d you do it?”
Taehyung frowns, confused. “What?”
Minho laughs, taking Taehyung’s perplexed expression as a joke. “Oh come on, y’know. You fucked so many exchange students, how’d you do it?”
Oh.
Taehyung feels sweat accumulate on his nape at the reminder of what he’d done in the past. “Ah. I don’t know…uh.”
“What about—that guy, the—the one from Brazil.”
“Alexander.”
Minho snaps his finger. “Yes! Him!”
Taehyung cringes, the memory now crawling back to him. “I just laid it out on him.”
“Okay, but like how?”
It’s like he’s back at the party, leaning against the wall with Alexander in front of him, chatting animatedly, half of his words not reaching Taehyung because he just wanted one thing.
Taehyung scratches his nape. “You’re hot. We should fuck.”
Alexander’s faltering expression is there again, how he had gone from super excited to quite confused, but not against it in any means. He was caught off guard, rightfully so, yet still took Taehyung upon his offer by leaning forward, and whispering against his lips the answer Taehyung had hoped for.
Yes.
Minho chuckles. “Jesus. Wish I had that kind of bluntness, not gonna lie to you.”
It feels like a punch to the gut when Taehyung comes back to the present, the imagery gone in a split second. He ignores the sensation, and tightens his lips to endure it. “Ha. Right, I—I really do gotta go, though. You’ll…figure it out.”
Minho pouts. “Can I have one more example? Like—okay, what about someone who you never thought you could fuck but did in the end?”
Jeongguk .
Taehyung loses it.
He’s brought back, just like that. Standing in the small storage room, able to smell the dust, and the cleaning supplies. Jeongguk’s in front of him, angry, bothered by his presence, and yet—
“Taehyung. Please. I need your help—like I’m desperate here.”
Bet my cock could make you shut up.
“I—I haven’t,” Taehyung lies, bolting out of the room, uncaring about Minho’s shouts of complaint that become more and more distant with every step.
Jeongguk’s expression haunts his mind. He had looked so out of breath, so out of it and lost, and yet Taehyung hadn’t stopped. He kept going, kept fueling the anger he felt deeply for Jeongguk, and used it for his own benefit.
Yikes.
Taehyung cringes over himself. He grows uncomfortable in his own skin, wanting to rip it off, and it’s then it hits him.
You’re changing.
He runs towards the elevator, pressing the button uncontrollably as if it’ll bring it up faster. Taehyung feels like suddenly he can’t breathe properly, too much hitting him all at once.
His past. Himself. Who he is.
The elevator comes up, Taehyung shoving himself through before the doors are fully open, needing to get out.
Taehyung knocks his head against the mirror breathing unevenly, trying to bring his thoughts to the present, to the fact he’s going to see Jieun and Junseo again, and his mom.
“Come on,” Taehyung mutters to himself, encouraging it loudly for it to happen.
When he reaches the lobby it’s gone again. Taehyung feels the pressure around his neck loosening, and then he doesn’t look back as he steps out.
Taehyung’s a bit out of breath when he reaches his childhood home, the steep hill worse than he remembers.
He rings the doorbell, thrumming in excitement when he hears muffling sounds on the other side, one of the voices clearly his mom, easy to recognize due to the softness latched onto it.
“Taebear,” his mom says when the door flies open.
Taehyung takes a step forward, and hugs her. “Mom.” He squeezes her tightly, and buries his face in her shoulder, the scent of home invading his nostrils.
Her fingers grasp onto his nape, the tip of them caressing the small ends of hair that stick out of his snapback. Taehyung wants to hold onto her for much longer, but then he hears Junseo and Jieun running forward, and he pulls away from the hug.
“Hyung!” Junseo grabs him first, shoving his head into Taehyung’s chest while his arms squeeze around his waist. “You’re here.”
“Hey, kiddo,” Taehyung kisses the top of his head while rubbing a hand on his back for comfort.
When they break apart, Jieun jumps into Taehyung’s arms, wrapping both arms tightly around his neck. “I missed you.”
“Missed you too,” Taehyung mumbles against her long brown hair.
After placing her back down on her two feet, he’s guided further inside the house after removing his shoes. It looks exactly the same as when he had left Daegu to go to Seoul.
There’s still the same paintings; three painted by each of them when they were kids. The door to the garden is open to let in some fresh air, and accompanied by three lounging chairs.
“Were you guys tanning?”
His mother nods. “Yes, it’s important to—”
Jieun cuts her off. “Get some vitamin D, we know, Mom.”
They giggle amongst each other when their mother rolls her eyes in slight annoyance over being too predictable with her sayings.
“Are you guys hungry? Should I start making lunch?”
Jieun and Junseo nod quickly, Taehyung joining in.
“Okay, I’ll make something, go rest.”
Jieun takes Taehyung’s hand, and drags him outside to sit on the lounge chair his mom occupied earlier before his arrival.
“Oppa, how’s uni?” Jieun asks when she lays down, sunglasses decorating her face as she faces the sun.
“It’s good,” Taehyung answers while grabbing a bottle of sunscreen from Junseo. “I did well on my exams, and now soccer too.”
“You’re so cool. Can’t believe you guys got to the semifinals! What happens if you win?”
Taehyung sprays the bottle, rubbing in the cream. “If we win then we're going to the final, which is happening in Tokyo.”
Junseo gasps. “Tokyo?! Japan?! Wow, that’s sick!”
Taehyung laughs at his little brother’s excitement. “Yeah, if we win, kiddo. We don’t know yet.”
Jieun hums. “You’ve gotten this far already. I think you guys are gonna win this whole thing.”
“Thanks.” Taehyung finishes covering his arms, face and legs with sunscreen, and lays back down after removing his snapback. “How’s school?”
Junseo starts off first. “The tests were okay. I’m seeing some of my friends next week, and we’re gonna go to the arcade.”
“That’s nice, Junseo.”
“Yeah, I’m really excited.”
“What about you, Jieun?”
She turns her head to face Taehyung. “Gonna go to karaoke with Miyoung and Bora next week, and I don’t know, maybe we’ll go downtown as well.”
“Sounds fun. I’m glad you guys are being treated nicely in school.”
“Mom said the same,” Junseo points out. “Oh my God. You’re turning into Mom!”
Junseo and Jieun laugh, Taehyung as well because he’s far from that. He can’t be, not when he’s exactly like—
“Junseo likes someone.”
His little brother drops his mouth, and slaps Jieun’s shoulder. “What is wrong with you?! I don’t like her.”
“Really? I saw you drooling over her during break and—”
“Yah! Shut up.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow. “You like someone?”
Junseo stutters. “I-I don’t—no, I don’t know what Jieun’s talking about.”
Jieun leans over to whisper. “He’s shy about it.”
“I can hear you!”
Taehyung breaks out a laugh, endeared by his little brother’s ears turning a shade of red. “It’s okay to like someone, kiddo.”
“I–I don’t know if I like her but…” He looks away. “She’s really nice.”
“It’s okay not to know, crushes are difficult.”
Yeah, you would know.
Junseo nods. “I guess.”
Taehyung shifts in the chair, his shorts riding up, and exposing his tattoo that’s still healing.
“Hey, I wanna show you something.”
Both of his siblings' ears perk up. “Hm?”
Taehyung rides up his shorts properly, the full date now visible for Jieun and Junseo to see.
“Is that…”
Taehyung smiles. “Yeah.”
Neither can hide back a smile, and then Taehyung’s attacked by both of his siblings on each side hugging him tightly.
“You got—why?”
“Because it was the best day of my life,” Taehyung admits truthfully. Junseo can’t seem to hold back anymore, and his eyes grow wet. Jieun laughs, and wipes the tears from her twin brother.
“I love you, hyung.” Junseo sniffs against Taehyung’s neck, eyes still looking at the fresh tattoo.
“Love you too, kiddo.”
“You’re the best big brother in the world,” Jieun says next, squeezing Taehyung’s arm.
They remain embraced, close, Taehyung’s fingers threading both of his siblings' hair, as his face is squished against Junseo’s hair that’s hot from being exposed to the sun.
The conversation shifts after a while, Taehyung now covering his tattoo again with the material of his shorts.
“What about that player on your team? The one I won’t name ‘cause you’ll start gagging if I do?” Jieun asks suddenly, catching Taehyung off guard.
“Uh…What about him?”
“Did something happen? At Christmas you kept going off on how he’s such an annoying perfectionist who thinks the world revolves around him, and would probably marry a soccer ball if it were possible.”
Junseo nods, catching on himself. “Or last year when you came home to visit during break, and you wouldn’t shut up about how Jeongguk does everything Coach Lee tells you guys to do, and has a stick up his ass.”
Jieun, and Junseo laugh while Taehyung stares with a deadpan expression.
“Or, wait, remember when he called us just to complain for a full blown hour on how Jeongguk had snitched on him for being late to Coach Lee when he hadn’t even noticed at first?”
“Or, when he spam texted us drunk, after Jeongguk puked all over his new sneakers that Mom got for him as a graduation gift?”
Taehyung scoffs. “Excuse you?! That’s valid!”
They both ignore him, continuing to mention whenever Taehyung’s spent time complaining about Jeongguk all throughout the first semester.
“You guys done?”
Jieun chuckles, letting it go for now, which causes Junseo to do the same. “Our point is just that by now, you usually have something to say.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I got that. Thank you, Junseo.”
Jieun hides a laugh in the palm of her hand, and before Taehyung can tell her off, their mother steps out with a huge smile on her face. “Lunch is ready, come on.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Jieun says after getting up, and joining her inside. Junseo hangs back with Taehyung as he tries to find his outdoor slippers, not wanting the grass to stick to his feet.
“Hey, hyung?”
“Yeah?”
Junseo looks down. “What if I do like her?”
Taehyung brings his hand forward, and caresses the top of his little brother’s head. “Then you like her. Don’t think too much about it, Junseo.”
“Okay. Okay I won’t.”
You should take your own advice.
Taehyung wishes it was that easy.
Red Devils ™️
kwan
movie night in yoongi and i’s room
[image.png]
hoseok
siiiiickkkk
you brought the projector 🔥🔥🔥
kwan
had to 😩
“Where’d you go earlier? You never told me,” Minho asks Taehyung when they step out of the door to join the others in Kwan, and Yoongi’s room.
“I was visiting my mom and my siblings,” Taehyung answers, still feeling warm after hanging in his childhood home the whole afternoon.
“Oh yeah, you’re from Daegu, can’t believe I forgot.” Minho’s smile drops a bit due to guilt. “I hope you had fun, sorry I bothered you with my stuff earlier. I ended up figuring it out.”
Taehyung rubs a hand on Minho’s upper back to remove the guilt-ridden expression his teammate is wearing. They’re in the semifinals, they’re supposed to have fun in between the pressure on their necks, and not be bothered by other things right now. They can’t afford to get too distracted, this moment counts.
Sounds familiar…
He ignores his conscience.
“It’s all good, Minho. I had fun yeah, hope things work out with Cecilia.”
“Yeah, we’ll see. So far, so good. She seems to be on the same page due to her leaving Seoul next month.”
“Makes sense.”
They finally reach the right door, and Minho does the honor of knocking it down harshly to assure it’s heard. One thing about their team is that they’re loud, especially when they’re in cramped spaces like hotel rooms, and everyone’s overlapping one another with different conversations and a random spewage of running jokes.
The muffling sound from the other side dies down, and then the door flies open, revealing Yoongi.
“Hey, come on in. Kwan was just about to put some drama romance on.”
“Oh God, of course he is.” Minho rolls his eyes, stepping in, Taehyung trailing behind.
After Minho joins the rest, Yoongi puts a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“How was it?”
Taehyung smiles. “It was good, hyung. Really fun.”
“That’s good.”
“Yo, Taehyung! You’re here!” It’s Soohyun, cheering from the end of the bed, which encourages others to greet him as well. “Come sit, come sit. There’s a spot beside Jeongguk on the bed.”
Taehyung’s heart drops down to his ass.
For a moment, he thinks Soohyun’s kidding, throwing a little joke like usual regarding their intense relationship but he’s not.
There really is only one spot free next to Jeongguk.
He doesn’t seem opposed to it; expression remaining neutral when Taehyung moves around the room, and accidentally steps on Kwan’s hand on the way there.
“Ow—”
“Dude—who puts their fucking hand on the floor?! That’s not on me.”
“Yeah, thanks for the advice, asshole.”
Taehyung sends him the finger with a grin before he carefully sits down on the bouncy mattress while trying his hardest not to stare at Jeongguk.
He knows if he does, he’ll become too aware of the fact he’s sitting next to Jeongguk , and he can’t allow himself to grow excited. If he does, Taehyung might slip a giggle or worse, pop a random boner.
Tightening his lips, Taehyung tries to remain cool by crossing his arms, and doesn’t say a word while Kwan connects his laptop to the projector to get the movie started.
While his focus remains in front of him, he feels eyes on him—or well, his arms . He steals a glance and looks beside him, noticing Jeongguk’s gaze downwards, eyes flitting between the white sheets, and Taehyung’s biceps.
Oh.
Why’s he looking at me?
Is he checking me out?
Do I have something weird on my—
He looks down and nothing seems to be abnormal about his arms, and biceps—well except the tan he gained from earlier after sitting outside with Junseo, Jieun and his mom.
Ah. Of course, of course that’s why he’s looking. Why else would he…
Taehyung feels slight disappointment but he’s not surprised. It was too good to be true but—
He knows he shouldn’t, he knows the idea is stupid, and could possibly backfire but he can’t help but want to impress Jeongguk and look good in front of him.
Taehyung subtly rolls up the sleeves of his t-shirt, and flexes whenever Jeongguk’s gaze starts to burn on his skin.
However, he immediately regrets it when Jeongguk rolls his eyes and looks away for good.
Oh.
The movie starts, a distraction that Taehyung’s able to take but he doesn’t. He can’t when Jeongguk’s sitting next to him, and his presence feels warm—warmer than the sun he felt on his skin earlier.
Everyone grows quiet, and Taehyung doesn’t know if he hates or loves it. He’s able to hear Jeongguk’s breathing, how it’s deep and comes from within his lungs before it’s pulled out again. Without realizing, Taehyung breathes in the same rhythm as him, feeling the calmest he has since they arrived in Daegu.
Jackson was right. What happened before Busan won’t happen again. This moment proves it. Jeongguk’s stable, he’s not restless, he’s not breathing unevenly, he’s okay.
Jeongguk’s okay.
Everything from then on passes like a blur. The projector changes color here and there due to the different settings in the movie, and then the lights in the hotel room are back on, and his teammates are yawning.
“Damn, that movie was…” Soohyun starts, and looks behind him. “What did you guys think?”
Jeongguk shrugs, his shoulder brushing against Taehyung’s own. He answers but Taehyung doesn’t catch a single word, still wrapping his head around the fact that they touched so gently like never before.
“What about you, Tae? What’d you think?”
Shit.
He had been too busy focusing on Jeongguk throughout the whole film that he missed the plot.
Think, Taehyung, quick!
“It was great!”
Soohyun frowns. “Uh…what was?”
“The ending,” Taehyung blurts out confidently.
The room erupts into laughter yet Soohyun remains with a deepened frown. “You mean when they separated, and got a divorce?”
Fuck.
“Y-Yeah. Sometimes that’s for the best, y’know. It’s just about putting it into perspective. The divorce rates are high, yeah but, that’s good! To—to y’know know what you want, and go for it. They deserve better.”
Yoongi snickers. “Okay, thanks for your input, Tae. I think Jinnie disagrees with you.”
“Hey! It was one tear,” Seokjin scolds, slapping his boyfriend's arm.
“It’s—it’s not even real, hyung,” Taehyung notes, and Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, okay Mr. Fuckboy. We get it.”
The room erupts in laughter yet—yet Jeongguk is quiet. Taehyung doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. He wants to scream to everyone that he’s not, that he doesn’t feel connected to that title anymore, that it’s drifted from him months ago, but he can’t.
Taehyung feels sick. The knots in his stomach tighten. He laughs it off to ignore it, and to avoid suspicion.
Thankfully, Minho keeps yawning a lot, and Taehyung finds his way out.
“Minho looks brain dead. I think we’re gonna go to bed. Thanks for the movie, Kwanie. It was good.”
Kwan throws a thumbs up in the air. “Sure thing! Sleep well, you two.”
It pains Taehyung to get up and remove himself from Jeongguk’s warmth, but once it’s done, it becomes easier.
Jeongguk’s gaze burns into his back until he closes the door behind him, and Taehyung goes to bed wondering why he stared.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
It’s tense in the locker rooms.
Everyone’s quiet as they change, staring more at the floor than each other. Taehyung hates that it’s getting to him as well, the pressure, the want to succeed, to win .
The words that run on his brain are too familiar, and Taehyung’s gaze can’t help but search for Jeongguk while the Red Devils walk between each other to assure they’ve got everything, and are ready for this match.
Jeongguk seems to be doing fine; leg bouncing uncontrollably, probably due to the nerves, and Taehyung’s not any better. He’s been fidgeting with the laces of his cleats, tying and untying them until they get a final signal from Coach Lee, and Jihoon.
The door flies open and everyone gets up on their feet, swallowing their nerves to face Coach Lee, and Jihoon with a twinge of confidence.
“Hey, Reds. How’re we holding up?”
Soohyun takes the lead, and answers for the rest like a Team Captain should. “The pressure is a lot right now, but we’ll do our very best.”
Taehyung’s always admired how Soohyun is able to tell the energy of the room, and the emotions laced onto each player. And, mostly his ability to remain calm despite feeling exactly like the others. It’s what makes him a great leader for their team.
“I know, it’s a lot. We’ve come far, and before we go out there, I want you to take a moment and allow yourselves to be proud of getting this far. It wasn’t easy but you made it, and you’re here.”
While Taehyung allows Coach Lee’s words of encouragement to ring loudly in his ears, he steals a glance at Jeongguk again, noticing his posture less stiff than earlier.
Although, his leg continues to bounce uncontrollably.
Thankfully, Soohyun notices as well, and sits besides Jeongguk, calming him down with words that only he can hear. Taehyung looks away, focusing on himself now that Jeongguk seems to be taken care of. He takes a swig from his water bottle, and closes his eyes while taking a deep breath.
If you win, you’ll be able to see Jeongguk’s dimples.
Taehyung can’t believe it encourages him to do better, to give his all today at the match. Not that he hasn’t with the others, but this is different, this feels different all together.
“Alright Reds, you’re up. Go kill it out there,” Coach Lee signals, and Taehyung’s heartbeat picks up at a faster pace when he follows behind his teammates towards the field.
It rings in his ears, in sync with his footsteps. Taehyung catches his breath when the chilled air of Daegu caresses his arms, and heated cheeks.
Coach Lee squeezes his shoulder before sending him off with the rest. The touch doesn’t linger like Jeongguk’s but it adds strength, and Taehyung makes use of it.
He doesn’t try to spot his family in the crowd, needing to remain focused on kicking Daegu’s ass.
Jeongguk wasn’t kidding when he said they might be fucked. The Daegu team greets them with a huge amount of ego, and confidence. Taehyung can tell it’s not an act, and he doesn’t blame them. They’ve done well so far, just as much as the Red Devils.
It makes everything more intense, more real . And the pressure grows bigger when they’re placed into their positions, the referee standing between Jimin, and a player from Daegu who’s sporting a fresh buzz cut.
Taehyung can’t hear what Jimin picks up until the player next to his best friend snickers.
Shit.
Daegu starts off which is never good. Taehyung tries not to let it affect him.
They’re good, efficient, thriving on teamwork as much as the Red Devils, and Taehyung has a hard time spotting their weakness.
Hoseok and Seokjin block them, the ball rolling into Namjoon’s arms after a few minutes of back and forth, and Taehyung’s focus heightens.
He runs forward alongside Jeongguk, ready to gain access if it does land by their feet first.
It doesn’t, but Soohyun catches it with the front of his foot, and shoots it to Minho who runs up front, getting closer to Jeongguk. Daegu falls behind, unable to grab the ball as it gets passed around between Jeongguk, and Minho. In the meantime, Taehyung tries to find a free spot for them to, hopefully, get a goal in.
Jeongguk looks behind him when he catches the ball, sending it forward for Taehyung to catch.
When it lands in between his legs, Taehyung picks up speed. The defense player in front of him bends his legs to try and grab it, but Taehyung rolls the ball around him, earning a free spot, just about to shoot but then he gets knocked over.
His head slams down cold onto the grass, breath slipping from his mouth, unable to go back in which causes Taehyung to roll over to catch it.
“Yo, Taehyung, you good?” Soohyun asks when he runs forward, the ball out of field, and grabbed by a referee.
“Yeah.” Taehyung raises a thumbs up towards the referee while getting up. He brings the whistle towards his mouth, and blows it, the match continuing.
Trying to catch his breath properly again, Taehyung jogs lightly, a bit limply in his steps but it goes away after a few minutes of breathing from within.
He takes a second to look towards the crowd, and smiles at his family to reassure them he’s fine. Taehyung knows his siblings are strong minded and are rarely worried but his mother always has been.
Thankfully, she seems lighter after their eyes lock for a second that tells her everything.
After nodding his head, he proceeds to play, watching with intensity as Hoseok and Seokjin block the two strikers who are rough around the edges, uncaring if they tackle or push too hard. Taehyung grows angry at the sight.
He tries to back them up by moving closer to their side but there’s no use because the ball flies forward, and lands in the corner of the net.
Shit.
The crowd roars in excitement, cheering so loud that Taehyung wishes he could block them out. He knows he shouldn’t pay them any mind, but their presence reminds him that they’re falling behind.
Jeongguk spits onto the grass, clenching his jaw before he moves back into position. Taehyung follows suit, and tries his hardest not to crane his neck towards Coach Lee and Jihoon who’ve been watching the whole thing.
The ball moves in between them again, Jimin getting ahold of it from one of the opponents, and sends it towards Mingyu who’s standing free.
They move fast, the Daegu team following close behind them which lessens the hope Taehyung’s gained before their match.
It all seems to happen so fast, the ball moving in between his teammates, and then Jeongguk gains it.
This could be it.
Taehyung waits for it. He waits for Jeongguk to send it back to him so he can get it in, but—Jeongguk keeps running, he runs so close towards the goal.
What the fuck.
“Jeon! To your right!” Taehyung signals with a finger in the air, standing completely free but Jeongguk doesn’t listen, can’t seem to hear him—that’s what Taehyung tells himself but—
Jeongguk sucks in a breath, and then he kicks it into the net.
No.
No .
The referee blows the whistle, and Taehyung stands still in shock. Jeongguk doesn’t meet Taehyung’s eyes despite the fact that Taehyung could be burning a hole through Jeongguk’s skull by the intensity of his gaze.
The rest of the team are ecstatic, running towards Jeongguk and attacking him with love, and wet kisses onto his damp hair, yet Taehyung remains in his spot.
It isn’t until the referee blows the whistle again, signaling they’ve reached the halftime of the match that Taehyung starts to move.
He’s faced with Coach Lee’s frowned expression, and Jihoon’s wide open mouth.
Fuck.
This is bad.
This is really bad.
The walk towards the locker rooms is filled with cheers, hopefulness that they have a shot because they managed to tie themselves with Daegu which is good—of course it’s good, but Jeongguk…
Taehyung feels the vein in his neck pop, and in an instant, all he feels is burning hot anger based on worry. He knows where it’s directed towards, the emotion spiking whenever he stares too long at Jeongguk.
He wants to ignore it, push it down but he can’t.
The moment the door closes, Taehyung walks up to Jeongguk, and digs a finger into his shoulder blade to gain his attention.
“What the fuck was that?!”
The rest of the team are quiet, confused by the sudden outburst, but they don’t intervene.
“What.”
“You—” Taehyung licks his lips, mouth running dry. “You can’t be serious. You know. Why the fuck did you do that?! Are you out of your fucking mind, Jeongguk?!”
Jeongguk scoffs. “Seriously?! You were limping! If I passed it to you, we wouldn’t have gotten a goal in, and more importantly we wouldn’t have tied with Daegu. We wouldn’t even have a shot at winning if it weren’t for what I did out there!”
There’s too many eyes on them now. Soohyun is just about to butt in when Taehyung acts on instinct, and pushes them outside of the locker rooms, grip tight onto Jeongguk’s arm.
“Hey—what the fuck!”
“Seriously?! You’re gonna pull the winning card on me, right now?! I’m fine! I was limping cause I was catching my breath, okay?! I literally got fucking tackled by some prick out there.” Taehyung shouts, tongue now hot in his mouth.
Jeongguk shakes his head. “How could I have known that?! I saw you limping, and had to act on instinct here! We don’t have time for chitchat on how you’re doing. We’re under a fucking clock.”
Taehyung recognizes something.
The pressure, the doubt, the way Jeongguk’s pupils are blown wide with it all.
He looks exactly the same as he did before Busan.
Shit.
“I—If you just looked at me, you’d know I was fine. I called for you! I fucking called for you, Jeongguk. I was standing free! So, tell me, why the fuck didn’t you send it?! Why couldn’t you just pass the ball?! Why was it so hard for you to do?!” Taehyung takes a few steps, their cleats now touching.
“I don’t trust you!”
Everything stops. Taehyung’s breath, his heartbeat too for what feels like an eternity but is realistically only a second.
Jeongguk pushes him back strongly before he can digest it. Taehyung almost falls completely backwards but he catches himself at the last minute.
Taehyung scoffs in disbelief. He feels a zap of pain in his chest, a telltale sign that he’s hurt—he’s actually hurt by Jeongguk’s words.
Taehyung knows he shouldn’t add more to the fuel, but he’s hurt, he’s angry, and he’s fucking worried .
“Coach is going to be on our ass now because of what you did. You know that right? He’s gonna pull us aside, and talk to us about teamwork, hell, he might even fucking bench you!”
Jeongguk’s expression falters into something Taehyung can’t pinpoint. It’s the first time Taehyung can’t read him. He hates it, he hates that he can’t. Especially now.
“Since when do you even care about what Coach says?! You never gave a shit back then so why now ?! Huh?!” Jeongguk steps closer again, panting in Taehyung’s face.
His breath feels hot, just as hot as Taehyung’s tongue in his mouth.
Jeongguk is angry.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to see your fucking dimpled smile, Jeongguk, not this.
Taehyung clenches his jaw.
“Because I want us to win!”
It’s the truth, he does. Taehyung wants them to win, has never believed in their team as much as he has now. He hasn’t believed this strongly since he was just a kid before everything went downhill.
“W-what?”
“And because you car—”
“Hey! What’s going on?!”
It’s Coach Lee, walking over to them with panicked steps. Taehyung’s breath catches inside his throat, and Jeongguk immediately answers.
“Nothing.”
Coach Lee sighs while scratching his forehead. “What happened out there? Why’d you do that, Jeongguk?”
“I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, Coach.”
Taehyung’s surprised that he isn’t dragging him down with him, but Taehyung allows it. It somewhat lessens the anger he feels.
“If you promise this is the last time, I can let it go with a warning. Can you promise me that, Jeongguk? We can’t have what happened against Ilsan happen ever again. Do you hear me?” Coach Lee asks sternly, tone harsh which Taehyung had seen coming.
He can tell it’s based on worry, the images of Coach Lee’s pale skin that day resurrecting. While Taehyung had felt like he blacked out that day, Coach Lee’s state was hard to forget alongside Jeongguk’s unconscious state on the field.
“I know. I know—I’m sorry.”
“Taehyung, did you know about this?”
All eyes are on him now, and Taehyung doesn’t know what to say. He’s scared of what will happen to Jeongguk if he says yes, but then he’s also terrified to lie to his Coach.
“I—”
“It was all me. Taehyung was limping, I saw it as a weakness, and ran on instinct. This is all on me.”
Coach Lee doesn’t ignore what Jeongguk says but he keeps his eyes on Taehyung. “Is this true?”
“Yeah—yes, it’s true, Coach.”
“Okay. A warning, Jeongguk, one more and you’re benched.”
Jeongguk nods, taking the responsibility for his actions.
“Now go, you have five more minutes to rest.”
They walk silently back inside the locker rooms, and Taehyung plops down onto the wooden bench. Jimin sits down next to him yet doesn’t say a word.
It’s like Jimin can tell Taehyung needs a moment of silence but that he still needs to feel his best friend's presence near him, one that’ll tell him it’ll be okay indirectly.
Taehyung’s chest still feels heavy, the words from Jeongguk ringing his ears.
I don’t trust you.
He shouldn’t be surprised, he really shouldn’t but Taehyung’s taken aback, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Taehyung grabs his water bottle, downs half of it to hydrate, and he notices Jeongguk hasn’t touched his own once .
He hates himself for what he does next, but he can’t stop.
“Minnie.”
Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, Tae?”
Taehyung reaches forward, grabs the water bottle from the holder, and hands it to Jimin without Jeongguk noticing.
His best friend knows what to do. He gets up, gives it to Jeongguk, and asks him to drink.
Taehyung feels his worry dissipate the more Jeongguk’s Adam’s apple bobs.
You’re such a fucking idiot, Jeongguk .
Yes, Taehyung’s still angry, hurt but he can’t stop caring. No matter what.
“You’re back on, Reds. Let’s show Daegu what we’re all about, okay?” Jihoon says, and the team nods as they follow him out towards the field of the stadium.
Taehyung lets go of what had happened, needing to bring his focus back to where it matters. Jeongguk seems to be doing the same, sending an apologetic look in his direction.
Let’s go earn that dimpled smile, come on, Taehyung.
Okay.
The crowd roars in excitement now that the players are back on the field, scattering around into their rightful positions.
Everyone waits for the referee, and when he blows the whistle, Taehyung’s brain turns blank.
Most of it is a blur, the second half stretching out with only missed opportunities for a goal.
Taehyung grows more tired, more sore around his thighs, and his neck feels hot alongside his face that’s dripping with sweat.
His teammates aren’t any better, needing to wipe their foreheads down more often than in the first half.
But they’re not giving up.
It moves fast, it always does, but Taehyung catches up quickly again, sending signals back and forth between the others, and then they’re back with full control.
The Daegu team has slowed down a lot more but Taehyung doesn’t pay them any mind.
There’s two minutes left.
This is now or never.
Yoongi kicks the ball forward, Jimin receiving it until he sends it to Mingyu who runs further up towards the net. Jeongguk starts to move alongside Taehyung, ready to gain access.
Jeongguk gets it first, and moves around one of the defense players, just about to send it towards Taehyung when he’s blocked by a striker.
The ball rolls over to the corner of the field, initiating a corner kick for The Red Devils.
This is their shot.
The referee blows the whistle, and both teams assemble on the other end of the field. Jeongguk takes the corner kick, sending the ball flying towards them, and then Minho jumps up into the air, and gets the ball into the net with a head shot.
When it’s announced that it’s indeed a win for the Red Devils, Taehyung screams while running towards Hoseok, and Soohyun who are already hugging one another.
They’re in the finals.
They did it.
Hoseok’s damp back meets Taehyung’s front when he squeezes him, all three of them jumping while the others tackle Minho to the ground, and attack him with joy.
Taehyung watches it go down, and then he sees what he’s been yearning for.
Jeongguk’s dimpled smile. It’s here, present and on display for him to see.
Everything feels unreal.
The crowd is quiet but Taehyung hears his family loudly.
“We did it!” Soohyun shouts in excitement.
Taehyung turns around to spot them in the mass of people, and when he does he freezes.
Dad.
The noise around him drowns out, and Taehyung feels himself grow numb.
It can’t be.
He can’t be here.
Not after everything. No.
Taehyung blinks, and then he’s gone again—as if he was never there to begin with.
His heartbeat quickens, pulse erratic, and then Taehyung loses his breath.
It's a shock.
Everything crashes.
He runs uncoordinated towards the exit, vision suddenly unfocused the more he struggles to breathe, and then he falls against the solid wall of the stranded hallway. Taehyung looks down, his hands shaking uncontrollably when he tries to grab the cold wall for support.
Taehyung can’t find his breath, chest tightening when he tries, and he feels like he’s going to faint.
The more he tries, the more he drowns.
“Kim? Hey—I just, I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have done that and—”
He can’t hear anything, everything muffled.
Taehyung continues to pant, groans when he tries to keep it down but it only keeps exploding.
“Hey—Taehyung?! Hey, what—”
“J-Jimin…” Taehyung manages to say. “I n-need—” It’s all he can get out before he gets blocked again.
Taehyung closes his eyes, tries to use the method his therapist had given him when he was a kid but it’s all a blur. He doesn’t remember anything. He can’t remember what he needs.
“Where is he?!”
“Over here—”
Jimin’s presence becomes loud, and then Taehyung is pushed against his best friend's back, the calm heartbeat pounding through his skin.
“Taehyung, hey, I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here.”
Taehyung keeps shaking, but the more Jimin talks the more it helps. It manages to drown out the muffling noise that rings in his ears, but his breath still isn’t present.
“Jeongguk, get some water. Now.”
“Okay—okay, water, okay.”
Jimin places a hand over Taehyung’s forehead, and another on his chest, trying to bring him back to a solid ground. He’s patient, calm, and Taehyung soon follows suit after what feels like an eternity.
He’s drained to the core when he recovers, still shaking slightly against Jimin’s body.
“Drink, drink some water. Slow sips, okay?”
He does as told, and right after, Taehyung slumps against Jimin.
“You’re okay. It’s okay, Taehyung. I’m here. You’re okay.” He keeps repeating the words, and doesn't stop until he knows for certain that Taehyung is okay.
“Jimin…”
“Hey, Taehyung. It’s okay. You’re fine, yeah? It’s okay. It’s over.”
His vision turns clearer, and Taehyung takes a proper deep breath, and exhales.
“Taebear?”
His mother is rushing towards him, Coach Lee and Jihoon right behind her with worried eyes.
“Mom.”
She runs a hand over his hair, patting him gently before caressing his cheek. Her touch is comforting, and exactly what Taehyung needs to fully recover.
“Let’s go home, Taebear. Come on.”
“Okay.”
Jimin helps him up, keeping an arm around him until Taehyung latches onto his mother, limbs still sore.
Coach Lee and Jihoon don’t ask any questions, making way for Taehyung and his mother to walk through the exit without any trouble.
Taehyung steals a glance behind him, and gains eye-contact with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk's gaze speaks volumes, the worried expression hard to miss, and Taehyung’s eyes soften before the door closes in between them.
The ride home is calm, Jieun and Junseo not asking any questions but comforting Taehyung in silence. All three of them sit in the backseat, each sibling holding onto one of his arms, and intertwining their fingers.
“It’s gonna be okay, hyung,” Junseo whispers, and Taehyung squeezes their hands with the last strength he has.
“Thank you, kiddo.”
The songs in the radio accompany the silence in the car, Taehyung’s mother glancing a few times in the rearview mirror to assure he’s okay. Taehyung’s grateful for her attentiveness, still processing what happened out there.
One minute he was fine, feeling extreme joy over winning, and seeing Jeongguk’s dimpled smile, and then the next he couldn’t breathe.
His childhood home comes into view not long after, and after the car is parked, they step out one by one. Junseo grabs Taehyung’s duffel bag from the trunk, Yoongi handing it over to him earlier while Taehyung was placed inside the car carefully. Jieun walks next to him, not dropping his hand until they’re inside the house.
“Will you be okay, Taehyungie oppa?”
Taehyung nods. “Yeah, I’ll be okay. You guys can go into your rooms, don’t worry about me, okay?”
Junseo and Jieun nod, and disappear further inside the house.
“I’ll make you some tea, and you can shower in the meantime.”
“Sure, yeah, thanks Mom.”
Taehyung goes up the stairs after grabbing his duffel bag by the entrance, and opens his old bedroom door. It looks exactly the same as he’s left it except his bed is completely bare, proof that he doesn’t live here anymore. He continues further down the hallway, and opens the bathroom door, the scent of sweet citrus hitting his nostrils.
After taking a shower, and changing into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, Taehyung joins his mother in the living room. His hair is still damp but he doesn’t pay it any mind when he’s sitting down on the soft couch, and grabbing onto the warm mug from her.
She joins him, caressing his hair, not commenting on how it’s not properly dried like usual. It’s the least of her worries right now, and Taehyung knows that at some point he’s gonna have to tell her what happened.
The warm tea trickles down his throat, and Taehyung feels warm.
He places the cup down, and lays on his mothers chest, her arms soft, and familiar around him.
She continues to run her fingers through his hair, and Taehyung accumulates his words.
“I saw Dad.”
Taehyung continues when his mother doesn’t respond but only continues to comfort him with her soft touches in his hair.
“He was just…there, and then he wasn’t.” Taehyung shuffles closer, and closes his eyes. “I thought—I thought it’d get easier with soccer but—it’s like I can’t escape him.”
She hums. “That’s why you had your panic attack?”
“Yeah, I just—I crumbled.”
“Is there anything you need? Anything I can say to make it all better?”
Taehyung squeezes his mother, her warmth surrounding him completely. “This is enough. Thank you, Mom.”
“Okay, Taebear. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Silence wraps around them, and the longer Taehyung holds onto the present, the better he feels.
It’s in the past.
It’s always going to remain there.
“If you ever want to get help again, I’ll be here to support you. I know it was a period of your life where you needed it the most, but there’s nothing wrong with seeking it again, okay?”
Taehyung’s throat grows tight at the idea. “I don’t…I don’t know.”
It’s like she can tell something’s blocking him from reaching out, to receive therapy which he clearly needs again.
“What’s wrong, Taebear?”
“I’m—I’m scared.”
She shushes him when his lips tremble and he coughs out a sob. “Hey, it’s okay. What’re you afraid of? We’ll find a solution to it, I promise.”
“What if—”
What if they tell me I’m just like him?
What if I really am like him?
What if it’s not just in my head?
Taehyung sucks in a breath. “What if I found out that what I’m scared of turns out to be right? That it’s not just something in my head?”
She grabs his face and tilts it upwards, softened eyes now looking directly down at him. “Taebear, it’s okay, you can tell me.”
“What…” Taehyung swallows the lump in his throat. “What if I’m just like Dad?”
She brings his head back down to her chest, and smoothes a hand down his back. “You’re nothing like him.”
“But—”
“You’re smart, you’re kind, you’re the best big brother, and you’re so full of love, Taehyung.”
“How—” He’s confused as to how that’s anything related to his father.
“Your father was none of those things. You’re nothing like him, Taebear. You never were. I’m really saddened to hear you think otherwise because it is far from the truth. You’re so special, you’re so so special.”
He hugs her tighter, and cries it all out. It’s tears of relief, of endless amounts of pain, and bad thoughts, gone just like that when they land down on his mother’s blue shirt.
You’re nothing like him.
Taehyung smiles against his mother’s touch.
It grows quiet again, the crickets in the garden heightened but it’s oddly calming.
When he no longer feels heavy, Taehyung removes his hold around his mother, confident in himself to manage his emotions from now on.
“I’ll think about therapy.”
“Good. I’m here, okay? Always have been.”
“I know. I know, Mom.” Taehyung caresses her shoulder. “I think I’ll head back to the hotel, get some sleep before we leave tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, hopefully you catch the last bus.”
“Yeah, yeah I’m sure I can.” Taehyung walks around the house, his mother trailing behind him while he grabs his stuff, and assures he has it all.
“Thank you for everything.”
“I’m always a phone call away if there’s anything,” she reminds him, and Taehyung nods while smiling.
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”
Taehyung makes his way to the hotel with music in his ears, the strings of his old earbuds wrinkled under his neck.
He manages to catch the last bus, leaning his head against the window as the countryside of Daegu flashes beside him at fast speed.
Taehyung used to be scared to look out, afraid he’d see his Dad in strangers' faces, but for the first time he watches it all, no longer afraid.
It’s like seeing the city for the first time, and Taehyung’s heart beats at the same constant pace, no longer rising with anxiousness.
The tall buildings and the bustling city come sooner or later, a sign that he’s almost made it back to the hotel. Taehyung hopes he doesn’t wake up Minho, knowing he’s exhausted after the match as much as him.
When he arrives at the right stop, Taehyung grabs his duffel bag, and walks out of the bus.
The night life in the city isn’t quiet, citizens going out, mostly people his age to clubs, and other places where they can drink and let loose.
As soon as Taehyung spots the hotel, he pulls his earbuds out, and shoves them in the pockets of his black shorts. He glimpses the tattoo he had gotten for his siblings, smiling before redirecting his eyes towards the entrance and—
“Jeongguk?”
There he is, leaning against a wall near the entrance of the hotel, eyes closed while his arms are crossed. Taehyung grows confused over why he’s here, and not in his hotel room sleeping like the rest of the Red Devils.
Taehyung doesn’t want to read too much into it but—
Did he wait for me?
Jeongguk’s eyes pop open, almost as if he sensed that Taehyung’s presence was near him.
“H-Hey,” he stutters, seeming embarrassed of being caught like this.
Taehyung frowns. “What are you doing out here?”
“I—uh…” Jeongguk scratches the front of his neck, searching for his words by the looks of it. “Couldn’t sleep.”
Ah.
Taehyung hates that he feels upset by this information, and how it goes against his earlier prediction. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to see it, so he hurries towards the entrance, ignoring him completely.
He’s just about to take a step inside when Jeongguk grabs him strongly by the bicep.
“Wait—wait.”
Taehyung doesn’t face him, can’t due to the etched frown of disappointment hanging heavy between his brows. “What.”
“I just, I—I waited.”
He turns.
“What? You—you waited? Why?”
Jeongguk shakes his head, unable to believe it himself. Taehyung grows an urge to ask how long he’s been standing here, but it’s not hard to guess. By the looks of it, it’s been awhile, enough for Jeongguk to feel no shame in snoozing openly in public.
“I don’t know.”
Taehyung can tell it’s the truth, and his disappointment starts rising again. “Okay. Well, I’m here so, goodnight.”
He frees himself from his warm touch, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem to want it to end here.
“What the fuck happened earlier?”
Taehyung clenches his jaw. “Goodnight, Jeon.”
“Seriously?! You’re just gonna leave like that?!”
“Yeah, I am, goodnight.” Taehyung takes a few steps, but Jeongguk isn't having it.
“Why can’t you just explain yourself?! Why is that so fucking hard for you to do?! You had a panic attack. Am I just supposed to ignore that?!”
The lack of filter in Jeongguk’s answer causes Taehyung to snap.
“What is it that you want me to fucking say?! That I get panic attacks?! That I get them whenever I get reminded of my Dad who left me?!”
Jeongguk’s expression falters in a second, and it’s then Taehyung realizes he said it.
Just like that.
The truth, out in the open, in front of a fucking hotel in Daegu.
“I—”
“Forget I ever said that.” Taehyung turns to leave again, this time certain he will be able to because there’s no way Jeongguk would—
“Wait—”
“Forget it, Jeongguk! Just forget it all! Fuck—” Taehyung groans when he feels a sting in his eyes.
Shit.
“I know how you feel.”
Taehyung stops in his tracks. He doesn’t turn, stares at the revolting door now set in full swing in front of him. “Whatever you’re doing, stop. It’s not helping, so just fucking stop!”
Silence.
Taehyung takes it as his cue. He’s so close to entering the building, to escaping everything and to swallowing himself whole over the fact that Jeongguk knows this about him and—
“My mom left me when I was three!”
Immediately, he turns. “Wh—”
“So I—I get it, okay?! I get…” Jeongguk’s breath halts. “I get you.”
Taehyung can’t exactly explain what he feels. He’s numb from head to toe save for his heartbeat that’s pounding loudly in his ears, the pulse hard in his neck as well.
“I—I didn’t kn—”
“Yeah, well, me neither with...” Jeongguk tries to maintain eye contact but fails when it continues for too long. Taehyung thinks it’s because he’s too vulnerable, too bare for his own liking.
Taehyung feels the exact same way.
“Yeah we don’t—we don’t really talk…Like that.”
Jeongguk nods, biting down his tongue as if he’s afraid he’ll say more about himself.
Taehyung can’t help but want it. He wants to know Jeongguk but—but that’s not them, it’s never been them, Taehyung had made sure to have it exactly like this ever since they first met.
And well, Jeongguk had only made it better by willingly distancing himself from him just as much.
Fuck.
“I’ll—we can forget this. I’ll go, goodnight, Kim.”
Taehyung hates hearing his last name slipping from Jeongguk’s mouth again.
Maybe—maybe they could.
“Jeongguk.”
“Hm?”
“I—what if we…”
What if he says no?
“Actually, never mind.” Taehyung knows he will, what’s the point?
“No, what is it?”
“It’s dumb, forget it. We should really just go to b—”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Stop being such a bitch.”
Taehyung can’t help but snicker, not expecting that of all things. “What if we did?”
“What?”
“Talk. No Kim, no Jeon, just…talk.”
Jeongguk grows silent, and regret washes over Taehyung in an instant.
Yeah, this was dumb, this was such a stupid fucking idea. He should’ve never proposed—God what was he thinking to just—
“Okay.”
“What.”
Jeongguk blinks at him in confusion. “Uh the—”
“Oh—oh, oh okay, yeah. Cool.”
“Cool.”
Silence grows between them, neither of them wanting to go first it seems. Taehyung only has growing questions about Jeongguk, about his mom, about how it made him feel—if he feels what Taehyung’s felt for years.
“I feel like it’s fair if you start—seeing what happened earlier,” Jeongguk says, killing the silence. Taehyung snorts while shaking his head.
“Jesus, thanks.”
Jeongguk shrugs lightly.
They haven’t even talked yet but this already feels different. Taehyung could get used to this.
“I saw my Dad, in the crowd, for like a second.” Taehyung pulls at the hem of his shirt, needing to occupy his hands with something as he brings himself back to a time he’s constantly running from. “Haven’t seen him since I was seven.”
Jeongguk is quiet, but the kind that encourages Taehyung to continue. For a second he imagines he’s talking to someone who already knows, and it makes it easier.
“He introduced me to soccer when I started school, and we’d go out in the garden and play for hours on end. I picked up the skills pretty quickly, and then he brought me out on the field in our neighborhood. He showed me how to do penalty shots, told me to keep shooting until I’d get it in. One day we were at the field and I finally kicked the goal. When I turned around to tell him, he was gone.”
“Is that why you have that mental block? When you’re about to shoot?”
Taehyung hums in approval.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, a sign he’s taking it all in, and Taehyung doesn’t stop. He’s cut it open, now he’s pulling out the pieces one by one, and can’t seem to put a halt to it.
“I still don’t know why he left. I have no fucking clue.” Taehyung tugs at his shirt. “I went to therapy, and they suggested I continue playing soccer, to work through my trauma. I don’t know—it was a lot of technical words, I barely remember them but—yeah, that’s why, I guess.”
Taehyung expects Jeongguk to remain silent, but he’s taken by surprise when he hears him.
“So that’s why you still play?”
He shrugs. “I guess. I don’t know, I barely remember.”
“Why—why do you play soccer if he’s not even in the picture?”
It’s a good question.
While Taehyung had done what was suggested to him as a kid, something must’ve made him continue later on when he hit a certain age where things became easier to understand, and emotions became more complex.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m a masochist.”
He has to be at this point. The amount of panic attacks, stress, and endless anxiousness couldn’t have been just to confront it all. Taehyung must’ve found comfort in it, in some sick twisted way.
“Or maybe you just miss him,” Jeongguk says, surprising Taehyung to the point he stops tugging at his shirt.
Taehyung shrugs, not knowing what to say.
“Never thought of it.”
“I miss my mom, a lot,” Jeongguk expresses, opening his own cut for Taehyung to see. “It’s funny—I don’t even know what she looks like now, I have no clue where she is, what she’s doing, if she settled down with someone else—if she has kids, I don’t know.”
“And you still miss her? Why?”
Jeongguk takes a deep breath. “Because that’s my mom.”
Yeah.
Taehyung gets it.
“Hm.”
I miss him.
He’d seen it coming, but hearing his inner voice confirm it makes it all real.
Taehyung misses his Dad, misses the one person that caused such immense fucked up pain in him, and yet he still misses him. It’s fucked up.
“I hate that I miss him,” Taehyung admits openly, and Jeongguk nods.
“Yeah, yeah I get that.”
And he really does.
Taehyung still can’t believe that he and Jeongguk can relate to each other, that somehow with everything in between they've managed to find a middle ground, one that pushes them to agreement.
“This feels weird,” Jeongguk notes, and Taehyung chuckles, nerves jittery after everything’s just…out there.
“So fucking weird.”
“We should probably go back inside, get some sleep.”
Jeongguk’s right. It’s getting far too late, and they’ve told each other the truth but—
Not all of it.
“Wait, Jeongguk?”
“Hm?”
“That first day, at soccer tryouts, I—I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. It was wrong, I just—”
This is it.
Lay it all out.
“Seeing you out there, play like that, all determined, passionate, strong I—” Taehyung rubs a hand over his forehead, the memories flashing. “You scared the fucking shit out of me.”
Jeongguk frowns. “What.”
“Everything about you scared me.” Taehyung can’t believe he’s saying it.
“How?” His jaw is a bit clenched, afraid to learn it all even though it’s best that he does. Jeongguk deserves it after the mess Taehyung started.
“You’re everything I could’ve been. Determined, passionate, quick, skilled, dream-oriented—I could’ve been that, I really could’ve. I could’ve if he hadn’t—”
“If he hadn’t left,” Jeongguk finishes his sentence.
Taehyung looks down in shame, confirming it. He knows it’s no excuse but he was triggered, pulled back to where he’d least want to be in his own head.
The what if’s.
The past.
That day.
Jeongguk reminded Taehyung of everything he’d run from, and the mere existence of him made Taehyung feel fucking sick.
He’d never felt hate like that before. The one that settles, the one that latches on and fuels from your anger.
Taehyung was weak, and therefore his hate was strong.
“Hm.”
Taehyung looks up, and notices Jeongguk scratching his nape.
He’s gone quiet. Taehyung’s scared to say something, so he joins in on the silence.
Somehow, Taehyung pulls them out of it, and says what he should’ve said from the very beginning.
“I’m sorry.”
Jeongguk's ears perk up but he still doesn’t say anything. Taehyung indulges in the silence, and then it’s broken again.
“You made me realize I could fail, that it was possible, and I just—I can’t fail.” Jeongguk pulls his hair. “If I fail I prove my Dad right, that soccer isn’t a stable future and—I couldn’t fucking stand you, Taehyung. You kept shoving that shit down my throat by not caring, and now—now I feel fucking stupid.”
Taehyung shakes his head. “No—no, you’re not stupid. Don’t—”
“I misjudged you,” Jeongguk says, repeating Taehyung’s words when they were standing in that alleyway, the pressure firm, and latched onto Taehyung while constant reminders of his father pulsed through his veins.
“Jeongguk. Stop.” Taehyung rubs a hand down his temples. “You’re not going to fail, okay? You’re the best player on our team, and if anyone has a future with soccer, it’s you. Everything I said back then, all of it wasn’t truthful, okay? None of it.”
“But—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just assumed that—”
“Dude.” Taehyung flicks two fingers onto his shoulder. “Fucking stop that. I started this mess okay, so just—shut up?!”
Jeongguk widens his eyes at the sudden raise in Taehyung’s voice.
Shit.
“Habit. Sorry.”
Neither should laugh, but they do. It’s so fucking inappropriate but they’re laughing.
Taehyung’s the first one to stop, and then he says a proper apology. One he’s owed Jeongguk from the very beginning.
“I’m sorry. For everything. You had power over me, and I did all I could to regain it, to feel in control of it all. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m really sorry, Jeongguk.”
Taehyung doesn’t really want to go into explicit detail over why he suggested that they should have sex, how every time they fucked, Taehyung was manipulating Jeongguk to feel in control, but it seems to be enough. Jeongguk seems to catch on, his neck growing flushed as if he’s reminiscing what they’ve done in the past, and while it shouldn’t affect Taehyung, it does.
“I—I had power over you?”
Taehyung sighs. “You always did, Jeongguk.”
Everything dies down from here on out. Taehyung feels it slowly disappear from the pit of his stomach.
Jeongguk seems to look lighter as well, breaking out a yawn now that they’ve gotten everything out in the open.
“We should go inside.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Jeongguk walks beside him, and their shoulders brush whenever one of their steps are uncoordinated. Taehyung forces himself to keep it cool, still having to process everything.
The elevator ride starts off quietly, but Jeongguk opens his mouth.
“What I said, at New Year’s, about your family, I didn’t know that I’d—”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too. Really. I fucked up.”
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, but he smiles tight-lipped. Taehyung’s glad that he’s not disagreeing.
When they arrive at their rooms, Taehyung looks over at Jeongguk before swiping the card down.
“Goodnight, Jeongguk.”
“Goodnight, Taehyung.”
Jeongguk is just about to pull down the door handle when Taehyung stops him.
“Wait, Jeongguk?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re gonna win. We’re gonna win all of this, okay?”
Jeongguk softens around his eyes. “Okay. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Yah!” Jimin shouts, crumbs of chips flying out of his mouth. “You waited a whole week to tell me you and Jeongguk talked it out?! What the fuck?! I’m your best friend, Kim Taehyung. That is fucked up. Fuck you.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes while sipping on the small juice box. “At least you know now.”
Jimin sends him a cold glare. “You’re not helping. Seriously, fuck you. This is like the biggest news of the century, bro, and you hid that from me! Shame!”
“Minnie…”
“No. No, don't even start.” Jimin shushes him when he tries to say another word.
Taehyung continues to drink his juice, staring at the stranded street beside them while the doorbell of the convenience store keeps ringing uncontrollably.
“So, that’s it then, right? Like no more? No more hate, no more fights?”
He nods.
While they hadn’t confirmed it out loud, Taehyung was able to feel it.
And it had only been proven more thoroughly during practice when there had been no tension, but only profound teamwork between the two on the field. Coach Lee had even pointed it out, and neither had grimaced.
“Huh.” Jimin slumps back down in the plastic chair, shoving a hand in the bag of chips. “Did you apologize for shoving him, and calling him a self-obsessed dick during tryouts?”
Taehyung looks away, and nods.
“All of it.”
His roommate chews loudly on the chips, the crunch filling out the silence as Taehyung looks down at his thighs, fiddling with the material of his shorts.
“Maybe getting involved with him wasn’t the worst idea…”
“What—what does that even mean, bro?!”
Jimin shrugs with a grin. “I mean—it did backfire when you fell into your own trap and gained a huge emotional boner for him but—hey! Look where it got you both. You’re talking now, like, actually talking. Like grown ups. Wow, who would’ve thought? Still, fuck you for only telling me a whole week later.”
“Fuck you—I don’t have an emotional boner for him,” Taehyung scoffs, completely offended.
“Oh, right, sorry—forgot you’re learning the proper definitions now. I meant feelings . Liking him, wanting only him, all that jazz.” Jimin’s cheeky smile doesn’t drop once, only grows when Taehyung’s expression falters into a grumpy frown.
“Funny.”
“You look good like this, like a little whipped puppy wagging his tail for our Golden striker boy, Jeon Jeongguk.”
“Okay I—”
“Like really whipped, like pathetically dumb puppy loser—”
“Jesus—I get it! Shut the fuck up.”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “That’s for keeping shit from me.”
“Yeah, well it worked, happy now?!”
“Love you too, bro.”
Taehyung throws his trash after Jimin, and he yelps when he feels some of the juice on his skin.
“Yah!”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Slow down! Fuck—hold on, I think I have a rock in my shoe,” Jimin whines, already crouching down to remove the heeled shoes, and empty it out from the so-called stones.
Taehyung stares deadpanned, annoyed because they’re already running late, the rest of the team waiting for them.
They weren’t even supposed to go out this weekend. Usually, it’s used to rest, but due to Taehyung not being in the best shape after the Daegu match where they'd usually find a place to get a drink, Soohyun moved it up a week so they could properly celebrate their final entry.
“Huh. There weren’t any. Maybe it’s in my soc—”
“For fucks sake, Minnie!”
“Can you just—give me one second?!” He rushes to say, balancing himself on one leg as he feels around his foot to detect what’s bothering him. He finds it, and removes the stone stuck to his heel from the inside of his sock.
“See?! I told you—”
“Dude—put on your fucking shoe, and let’s go!” Taehyung shouts in impatience, tucking both hands in his zipped up leather jacket, and starts to walk when Jimin stands up again.
“Alright—fuck!”
They walk alongside with quickened steps, Itaewon packed to the brim. Jimin grabs onto Taehyung’s arm when the space turns smaller, and they have to walk behind one another to pass.
It’s not long before they catch the Red Devils talking loudly while waiting in line to a place with a bright red neon sign of what seems to be the club’s logo.
Yoongi’s in the middle of smoking a cigarette with his right hand while his left is occupied by Seokjin’s as he talks to Namjoon. Soohyun and Mingyu are joking around, slapping and teasing Minho who seems to look shy about something.
“Park, Kim! You made it!” Soohyun shouts, spotting them first in the crowd. Taehyung smiles widely when his teammates clap him on the back when he joins to stand beside them in line.
“Yeah, after five-hundred years because of a specific someone,” Taehyung admits, Jimin slapping his shoulder in annoyance.
“You try walking in a hurry with a rock stabbing your foot repeatedly.”
Soohyun laughs. “Always something with you two.”
Taehyung’s just about to answer when Hoseok butts in, and wraps an arm around both him and Jimin. “You’re here!”
Jimin scrunches his nose when he’s able to smell the vodka breath from Hoseok. “And you’re already drunk.”
“I’m not about to spend half of my pocket on drinks, absolutely not . Also, Cap always picks the worst places,” he tries to whisper the last part but fails, Soohyun’s eyebrows raising high.
“What’d you say?”
“Uh…” Hoseok hides his face in Jimin’s neck, and Soohyun starts laughing.
“Piss off, hyung, this place is fire.”
Taehyung’s just about to add his own two cents regarding the conversation when Jeongguk shows up.
He’s wearing a blue windbreaker, and black baggy jeans. It’s such a simple outfit, but Taehyung’s already losing his mind over it. Also within the fact that Jeongguk is letting his hair out, no beanie or baseball cap accompanying his head.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Taehyung drags the word, immediately regretting it when Jimin sends him a concerned glare. He clears his throat. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Soohyun butts in to cut it off. “One more hey, and I’m gonna fucking lose it.”
Hoseok breaks out a laugh that has him shaking against Taehyung. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything, probably too drunk to even form it into words.
“Are we ready to celebrate being in the fucking final?!” Yoongi says loudly enough to catch the whole team’s attention.
They all whistle, and cheer together, no one around them batting an eye at their sudden excitement.
Not long after, the line starts to move, and they’re facing one of the workers standing with a card reader, and a stamp in her other hand.
“Hi! How many are you?”
“We’re eleven.” Soohyun answers without checking. The worker seems surprised but then Hoseok fills her in.
“We’re a soccer team.”
“Oh! Oh, fun! We take credit card or cash.”
“I’ve got it. Just with card,” Soohyun says, already standing ready with the credit card out of his wallet.
“Great, here you go.”
The beeping noise rings, and she proceeds to stamp them on the wrist with a weird black logo.
Soohyun’s the first to disappear inside the establishment, Jimin and Hoseok right after which leaves Taehyung to step aside for Jeongguk to walk in front of him.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah su—”
Holy shit.
Jeongguk’s pants are far, far from simple. They’re ripped in multiple sections right beneath his ass, and continue all the way down to his chunky sneakers. Taehyung feels like he blacks out for a second.
The mere glimpse of Jeongguk’s skin like this has him violently shaking, the buzzing prominent in his fingertips when he goes to unzip a bit of his leather jacket to not suffocate completely.
The loud pop music, red lights, and the sudden warmth of the club snap Taehyung out of it all.
It’s stuffy, the smell intense due to copious amounts of sweat from different people, and their cheap perfumes. Taehyung scrunches his nose in distaste but keeps moving forward, trying his hardest not to look down at Jeongguk’s pretty legs on full display.
Soohyun spots an empty table in a corner, and they quickly surround it. Namjoon quickly disposes of the empty cups along with Yoongi before either supporting an elbow or two onto the edges.
When it clears, Soohyun leans over, and sends the transaction for the entry fee. Namjoon does the math, calculating quickly, and Jeongguk shoots a quick joke on how that’d get Hector going.
Taehyung laughs the loudest while sending the payment, and Jimin wraps an arm around his shoulder, craning his neck to make it seem like he’s looking over the dance floor, but really it’s to speak against Taehyung’s ear.
“You’re being painfully obvious.”
Oh.
Taehyung hadn’t realized.
He clears his throat, not wanting to make things weird between Jeongguk and him now that they’re finally moving forward for the better.
Jimin lets it go when Taehyung diverts his attention elsewhere, trusting he knows how to handle it.
“It feels like we’re in a strip club!” Kwan shouts in between them, Seokjin almost falling backwards by how much he’s laughing.
“What?!”
“The red lights! And the poles! Look.”
Their eyes follow his pointing finger, noticing the poles occupied by some drunk people with zero skill. Taehyung snickers at the sight.
“Cap, seriously, what is this place?” Minho questions, and Soohyun sighs loudly on purpose.
“It’s a sick ass place! I mean it! It’s my favorite spot! Just—trust me on this. Don’t be like Hobi-hyung by questioning my suggestions.” He pouts dramatically, and Minho shakes his head with a hidden grin.
“Okay, okay—”
When all phones are stuffed back into their pockets after the payments go through, Seokjin leans forward on the sticky table to gain all of their attention. “Shots anyone?!”
Everyone agrees quickly.
“It’s on me,” Jeongguk offers while zipping down his windbreaker. Taehyung gulps when he sees what’s hidden underneath. “What do you guys want? Tequila?”
Taehyung can’t hear anything, feeling his breath being caught in his throat at the sight of Jeongguk. He’s wearing a tight fitted white shirt, hugging around his biceps, the bulging of them worse when he scrunches up the windbreaker as much as he can.
Fuck.
“Yeah, thanks, Guk!” Seokjin yells back, thrilled to get free shots like the rest of the team.
Taehyung watches Jeongguk move around the crowded club, excusing himself shyly when he bumps into some girls from behind, and it’s then Taehyung realizes he’s going to stand all alone trying to order for them.
He’s got it, Taehyung knows that, has never once doubted what Jeongguk is able to seeing he’s the best player on their team, and has great control of things but—
Maybe it’s too soon, too dumb, hell even reckless but something about the sight of Jeongguk trying to grab the attention from the bartender who isn’t even paying attention to him is killing Taehyung.
Before he knows it, he’s taking a step in that direction.
Fuck it.
“I’ll be back.”
The music pounds loudly on Taehyung’s skin, the heat of the club causing him to break out into a sweat. To air out a bit for himself, Taehyung unzips his jacket fully, and holds it under his arm as he walks in between some girls that are dancing closely together. One of them tries to grab his attention but Taehyung’s eyes are already on Jeongguk, always have been.
“Hey—Could I—” Jeongguk sighs when the bartender walks right past him, and moves towards three men that are already taking orders over the loud noise.
“Hey.”
Jeongguk whips his head in Taehyung’s direction. “I—hey.”
“Need help ordering?”
He nods, and Taehyung leans forward on the bar top, catching the attention of a blonde bartender who’s quick to spot him.
Jeongguk takes it over from here, ordering an amount of Tequila shots without looking at the prices. Taehyung inwardly winces when he notices it but he doesn’t directly comment on it.
“Hey, I know you said you’d offer but we can split it I—”
Jeongguk shakes his head with a small smile. “Nah, it’s okay.”
“You sure?”
He responds with a quick nod, and Taehyung lets it go.
The air conditioning by the bar makes it a bit more bearable than by where the rest of the Red Devils are situated. Taehyung takes a moment to collect himself, the stuffy air settling on his dampened skin.
He runs a hand through his hair, the snapback forgotten at home. Jeongguk seems to notice the item missing as well, his eyes stealing glances towards Taehyung even though neither are saying much while waiting for the Tequila shots from the bartender.
The rise of the heat doesn’t ever dim, and Taehyung places his jacket down on the bar top, tugs at the mesh top he’s wearing, the material clung to his skin due to sweat. Before grabbing it again, he runs both hands through his thick hair, pushing it all back.
“You got something there,” Jeongguk points at his face, and Taehyung frowns in confusion when he takes hold of the thick leather jacket under his hand again before someone accidentally spills something over it.
“What? Where?”
“There.” Jeongguk points more sideways, closer to his temple, and then it clicks for Taehyung.
“Oh—oh yeah, Minnie did that yesterday ‘cause he got bored. Said it’d suit me.” Taehyung explains further, and before Jeongguk can respond the bartender comes back with the order.
“Would you guys like anything else?!” She asks over the music, upper body leaned across to catch whatever Jeongguk says next.
He doesn’t seem to hear her, eyes still stuck onto Taehyung’s eyebrow slit.
“Jeongguk.”
“Huh? Hm? What?” Jeongguk asks, growing embarrassed at being caught staring.
Taehyung has a hard time processing the fact that Jeongguk’s looking at him, and not whoever else is here tonight.
“Do you want anything else?”
“Uh, no, no we’re good for now. Thank you!”
The bartender doesn’t comment on his lack of acknowledgement, instead pulling out the card reader, and smiling at Jeongguk when the transaction goes through.
“Have a nice night, you two!”
“Thanks!” Jeongguk shouts back while taking ahold of one of the shot trays, Taehyung grabbing the other along with the lime, and salt filled cup.
They make it through the crowd without spilling too much, and soon the table in the corner becomes visible again through the intense smokey air, and red lights.
“Shots!” Seokjin shouts, clapping like a kid when Jeongguk places down the first tray for the teammates to take.
It isn’t until their arms are raised in the air with the shot glasses that their Team Captain takes a moment to say something.
“We did it, Reds. I honestly never doubted us, but the fact that we can actually stand here and say we’ve made it to the final feels like a dream. I’m not gonna get all sappy like Coach did on us at practice but—I don’t doubt we’re gonna do great in Tokyo. Now, to reaching the fucking final!”
Notes:
weight of the world on your shouldersssss, they talked it out and grew the fuck uuuppppp or however that song goes idk something something :D
Chapter 21
Summary:
This is it.
Notes:
ktg!th: hey, you know they're gonna hate you for this, right?
me: oh trust me, i know.
ktg!jk: they're never gonna forgive you for what you did, just remember that-
me: both of you shut up. *looks at readers* enjoy guys! 😊
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Taehyung doesn’t know what time it is when he feels a harsh tug to his ear.
He groans while shifting in bed. “Ow—yo, the fuck?!” Taehyung opens his eyes, and freezes. “Jeongguk?”
“Sorry—didn’t know how else to wake you.”
“Maybe like…I don’t know, a normal person would?!” Taehyung answers back bitterly, rubbing down a hand on the sore spot.
Jeongguk tries not to laugh, lips tightened into a straight line.
“What—what are you even doing here…”
Taehyung thinks part of him is still dreaming, but Jeongguk seems too real for that to be considered an option. But, still, how in the world is Jeongguk here of all places, and waking him up at that?
“Uh, Jiminie invited Ryu and I for breakfast.”
“‘Course he did,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath, finally moving to sit up, the covers falling off of him.
“S-so, yeah, get ready,” Jeongguk hurries to say, turning his back to Taehyung to leave his bedroom.
Confused by the sudden outburst, Taehyung rubs his eyes while getting up to get ready. It’s then he realizes he’s half naked, wearing nothing but thin boxer shorts due to the summer heat becoming unbearable around this time of year.
Taehyung grows embarrassed.
Shit.
Jeongguk saw him like this.
Fuck .
Trying to tame it, Taehyung ignores it for now, moving around his bedroom to grab a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt. He stares at the different snapbacks while his leg pulls through the material, and decides to wear the black one to match the lower half of his outfit.
He takes a deep breath before stepping out, trying his best to remain calm, and not think about the fact Jeongguk saw him like that .
“Sup’,” Taehyung cringes inwardly, clearing his throat. “G-Good morning!”
Jimin stares at him like he’s lost it, while Ryu and Jeongguk are in the middle of eating, giving muffled greetings back.
“So, big day today, huh.”
Way to make it obvious.
Jimin grimaces. “Yeah, uh, hurry up and eat.”
Taehyung sits down, and grabs a pair of chopsticks, eating what’s in front of him. When his mouth is half stuffed, he looks over to his roommate. “When do we leave?”
“Eh, in like…” Jimin pulls out his phone from his pocket. “Ten minutes.”
“Got it,” he rushes to eat, Jeongguk eyeing him weirdly when he inhales the rice and banchan like his life depends on it, but he doesn’t throw a comment.
It’s funny. For a second Taehyung thinks he will because that’s how it used to be but now? Now, things are different.
The good kind.
A kind of different that lingers in the air lightly, that doesn’t transform and latch painfully onto their necks and cause a bad strain.
Not long after, Jimin slaps a hand over lightly over Taehyung’s nape, a signal that they need to get going.
Tokyo, here they come.
Despite leaving right on time, they make it five minutes before attendance which in Coach Lee and Jihoon’s book is considered fine. Thankfully, they hadn’t been hit with a lot of traffic due to it being summer, and early morning.
Ryu breaks out a yawn when they get out of the car, grabbing their duffel bags from the back.
“See you guys in a few days. Best of luck with everything!”
“Bye!”
“Bye, Ryu, thanks for the ride!” Taehyung shouts before closing the door of the trunk, and running off to join Jimin and Jeongguk near the entrance of Incheon Airport.
Most of the team are already here, chatting away with Coach Lee and Jihoon about practical stuff.
“Alright, I think you’re all here now,” Coach Lee says when he spots them.
Jihoon holds onto his phone, about to read something from the screen.
“So, for the Tokyo trip it’s going to be a bit different. We haven’t paid for any of your seats so you’ll be sitting randomly. When it comes to the rooming situation, you’re all getting your own rooms. This is a gift from Coach Lee and I to congratulate you in reaching this far. For the first day, you’re free to do what you want but remember morning practice. If you have any questions, Coach Lee and I are always available. For now, just make sure to rest properly, you’ve got a big day ahead of you. And lastly, go Reds!”
The Red Devils cheer in excitement.
Afterwards, they walk inside the airport, checking in to receive their boarding passes.
The team are quick to talk over each other trying to figure out who’s sitting next to who, and Taehyung zones out until he feels Soohyun poke him in the shoulder.
“What’d you get?”
“Uh, 28A.”
“Who’s got 28B?” Soohyun asks, looking over his teammates until one reacts, and Taehyung’s heart spikes up into a faster pace when Jeongguk holds a hand up.
“I do.”
“You’re next to Tae.”
Jeongguk nods. “O-Okay.”
That’s all there is to it because then Coach Lee urges them through security, not wanting them to rush towards the gate.
Taehyung’s so focused on getting his duffel bag, and other belongings through security, that the news of sitting next to Jeongguk is completely forgotten.
It isn’t until they get to the gate that it finally sinks in.
His heartbeat picks up again, nerves jittery in the tip of his fingers, and Taehyung tries to calm himself.
It’s more intense than before. It’s like what he feels for Jeongguk keeps growing.
Taehyung’s scared of what will happen when it reaches a point that he’s unable to control.
When he sits down in the waiting area near their gate, his leg bounces uncontrollably as he watches Jeongguk a few seats away from him talking to Hoseok.
Jeongguk tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, and Taehyung tries not to whine out in frustration because fuck why is he so fucking pretty?!
Fuck me.
Taehyung’s never been afraid of flying, and has been to different spots in Thailand with his family during summer break, but for the first time he’s terrified.
This is the longest he’s gonna sit next to Jeongguk since their talk.
What if he doesn’t know what to say? What if they don’t talk at all? Or even worse, what if he finds out?
Taehyung can’t let that happen.
He’s been good at hiding it, and now that they’re on good terms, he can’t fuck it up.
Sure, he’s not friends with Jeongguk, but everything that was cramped between them is no longer present. The space is free, light.
You got this. Take it easy. Be chill.
“Hey! Guys! Come look at this,” Soohyun says loudly enough for the Red Devils to crowd around him, squeezing tightly into the available space. Taehyung’s the last one to join them, not knowing where to stand or sit.
Soohyun’s showing them something on his phone, the screen too small to see from where Taehyung tries to get a glimpse.
“Isn’t that hilarious?” Soohyun asks while laughing, and Taehyung can’t even get in on it while the rest of his teammates are snickering.
“I—I can’t see anything, Cap.”
Soohyun looks beside him. “Just lean over.”
It’s not that Taehyung doesn’t want to, frankly he does, his curiosity is killing him over what their Team Captain is showing them, but that’d require leaning over Jeongguk to get a better look.
“Dude—” Soohyun grows impatient, and Taehyung doesn’t want to cause a scene so he does.
He moves carefully, placing a hand on the edge of Jeongguk’s seat for balance, the other one on the small armrest to not crush him in the process. Taehyung manages, holding his breath, and trying his hardest to concentrate on what’s happening on Soohyun’s screen.
Jeongguk’s breath hitches when Taehyung almost loses his balance, chest closer to his face than he’d wished for. He’s caging him in now, the gold necklace around his neck dangling by the sudden movement. Taehyung tries not to move more, holding it in until the video ends. His lips are shut close, and his palms turn sweaty, the hold around the seat and armrest slipping with every passing second.
Please, fucking end soon.
He’s just about to gain courage to ask if Jeongguk’s okay when he relaxes beneath him. Taehyung doesn’t move even though his arms feel a bit funny, and the strain grows in his biceps the more stretched out he is. He doesn’t move even when the wetness grows in his palms, and his heartbeat picks up again.
It really shouldn’t be a big deal, but he’s able to feel Jeongguk’s presence stronger than ever, the warmth wrapping around Taehyung despite them not touching. It’s not a big deal, but for Taehyung it’s so much more.
Everything in relation to Jeongguk is always a big deal, it’s always something, always .
When the video ends, Taehyung leans back while faking a laugh, Jeongguk’s scent and warmth gone in an instant.
To catch his breath, Taehyung decides to go to a store near the gate, get his mind off of everything. He knows if he thinks too hard about it it’ll start to show, and he doesn’t want Jeongguk to find out.
He’s just about to make a turn when he glances towards Jeongguk again, his eyes seeking him constantly. Taehyung’s surprised to see his leg bounce uncontrollably.
For a second he seems affected by what had just happened. Taehyung’s throat grows dry, his thoughts accumulating when he proceeds to walk around the airport, trying to pull away the nerves, and to calm his erratic heartbeat.
It calms down the more he scans the different items at the store, a collection of clothing and bags. Taehyung wanders with both hands in his pockets, his fingers pinching the material.
Taehyung remains in the store until the intercom announces that boarding will start in a few minutes.
When he returns to the gate he stays glued to Jimin and Hoseok needing a solid minute before he’ll sit next to Jeongguk for a few hours.
Coach Lee pushes them forward, each getting their boarding passes scanned, and checked with their passports.
“Who’re you sitting next to?” Jimin asks Taehyung when they’re walking down the pathway to the plane.
“Uh, Jeongguk.”
Jimin breaks out into a laugh, clapping while Taehyung stares him down with a deadpan expression.
“This is going to be fun!”
“I’m gonna kill you. Shut up.”
The stewardesses greet them kindly, and then they’re moving to the right aisle.
Taehyung doesn’t look behind him, scared he’ll gain eye contact with Jeongguk.
Instead, he opens the overhead compartment and shoves his black duffel bag in. He moves to his seat, looking outside and manages to spot a few workers moving around the plane.
It’s not long before the warmth hits him like a truck.
He glances quickly, smiling awkwardly at Jeongguk while he’s putting on his seatbelt, and growing comfortable in his seat.
There aren’t any words between them, and Taehyung doesn’t mind. Frankly, he doesn’t know what to say at this exact moment, and worst of all, he’s shaking like crazy.
He holds onto his wrist to tame it, chuckling nervously when Jeongguk looks over at him with a concerned frown.
“What?”
“Hm? What? Nothing? There’s—there’s nothing.”
Jeongguk doesn’t seem to buy it but he doesn’t budge. “Okay…”
Taehyung redirects his attention outside, studying the uniforms of the men driving around with the passengers' baggage.
Sooner or later, they’re informed of departure, and Taehyung braces both hands on the armrests, fingers brushing against Jeongguk’s for a second.
“S-Sorry.”
“You’re good,” Jeongguk clears his throat, moving his hand slightly away to make space.
The plane starts to shake, their seats pulled back by the speed, and just as they’re about to go in the air, Jeongguk closes his eyes.
Taehyung notices the grip Jeongguk has around the armrest, and when they’re pulled upwards, his hand slides over to clench Taehyung’s own.
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God .
Taehyung tries not to react, knows it’s on instinct, that it might be because Jeongguk’s scared, and he’s right because as soon as the plane flies horizontally, the grip is gone.
Neither acknowledge it, Taehyung too shaken up, still processing the fact it happened, and well Jeongguk, he’s staring at the aisle, leg bouncing uncontrollably again but Taehyung doesn’t point it out.
This is going to be a long flight.
Despite not being tired seeing he overslept, Taehyung leans against the window, and closes his eyes, needing time to move at an extreme pace.
Soon, it all becomes dark.
Tokyo is incredible.
It’s the first thing Taehyung notices when they take the train towards the city. Jimin’s next to him, admiring the city as much as Taehyung is.
Coach Lee prepares them to get ready for their stop, Taehyung gathering his stuff, and adjusting his snapback one last time before they step out.
The station is crowded, packed with civilians going somewhere, and Taehyung grabs hold of Jimin so they don’t lose each other.
Walking in Tokyo is different than looking at it. There’s a calming presence in the bustling city.
“Ryu wasn’t kidding. Tokyo is fucking incredible.” Jimin notes when they are near the hotel, Taehyung nodding beside him.
“What do you wanna do while we’re here?”
Jimin ponders. “Hm, I wanna go around downtown, maybe find a spot to eat? We could ask the others if they’re up for it. Maybe Jeongguk knows a spot that Ryu has recommended to him.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m down to eat.”
“Perfect.”
“Alright, Reds, we’ve finally made it,” Coach Lee announces when they surround him in the lobby. “I know there’s a lot of pressure, but use this time to relax. We need all of you in the best shape for tomorrow, okay?”
The team nods in unison.
Jihoon goes around handing out the keycards, and when they’ve all collected them, they move towards the elevator.
Taehyung overhears Jeongguk’s number when they step in, realizing he’s further down the hall from him. He can’t tell if he’s bothered or happy about it.
It’s a bit tight, Taehyung accidentally getting pushed against Jeongguk when they fill out the space.
“Sorry—” Taehyung mutters under his breath, and Jeongguk’s eyes widen.
“You’re…you’re fine.” He clears his throat, eyes wandering elsewhere while Taehyung remains pressed against his side.
The material of Jeongguk’s shorts feel funny against his knees, and his scent wraps around Taehyung in the short amount of time they’re like this.
Taehyung tries to hold it together, tries to relax, and to remain cool but it’s becoming harder.
It’s like ever since they opened each other’s wounds and exposed extreme honesty and vulnerability to one another, acting nonchalant towards Jeongguk feels wrong.
Taehyung smiles awkwardly when Jeongguk’s gaze finds him again, settling down on where they brush against each other.
He’s just about to break out a sweat when the elevator dings, and the space turns bigger.
Taehyung contains himself in not looking back when he walks down the hallway, knowing he’d look directly at Jeongguk. It’s all he wants to see constantly but he needs to control himself. He wouldn’t want Jeongguk to think something’s wrong between them, or even worse that his feelings are growing stronger by every minute, that every small moment adds to it.
It isn’t until he’s reached his hotel room that Taehyung groans against the door, pulling his hair while the tip of his fingers tremble with need. A need to be close.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, regaining himself because there’s no time for it.
Right now, what matters is winning, proving themselves to everyone who’s watching, and supporting them.
Tomorrow, everything matters.
Taehyung feels nauseous at the thought of it, but then he remembers how softly Jeongguk had looked at him after he’d promised them they’d win.
And they will.
Taehyung will make sure of it. No matter what it takes, he’s going to give it his all tomorrow.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Coach Lee is quiet.
For the past minute he’s been staring down at the clipboard in his hands, rubbing down his forehead in absolute silence.
Taehyung grows anxious the longer he looks at him so he decides against it, tying the laces into a double knot to make time pass.
After staring down at his cleats for what feels like an eternity, Taehyung steals a glance towards Jeongguk. He’s supporting himself against one of the lockers, arms crossed and eyes closed.
An urge grows to get up and ask if Jeongguk is okay, but Soohyun beats him to it when he moves, skilled in observing his teammates.
Taehyung sits back down, ignoring the side eye from Jimin who’d seen everything go down.
“Whipped puppy,” Jimin mouths at him when he cranes his neck towards his best friend.
“Fuck you.”
Jimin grins, and slaps a hand gently on his nape. “We’re gonna tear those Tokyo fuckers down.”
“We better.”
“We will. We’ve got the best strikers on our team.”
Taehyung’s heart grows in size when he notices the plural form. He tries not to show he’s touched, knowing Jimin would bug him with it, so instead he nods with a small smile.
“Thanks, Minnie.”
“Okay Reds. There’s five minutes left, how are we feeling?” Jihoon asks, taking the lead, Coach Lee seeming too nervous to speak for now.
“Team is good, well rested. We got this, we got tactics memorized, Taehyung and Jeongguk’s teamwork has never been better. We’ve never been better as a team as of now. We’re gonna kill it out there, right Reds?” Soohyun says, always having been a spokesperson for the Red Devils.
“Yeah!” Jimin exclaims, the others join in right after but Taehyung remains quiet, gaze stuck onto Jeongguk who’s no better.
It’s a lot.
Taehyung usually never felt this pressure during games, sure he’d try to succeed and do well, but even then it wasn’t like this. He’s never been afraid of losing, of going home with nothing. But now? Now it’s different. They’re counting on him, hell, even Jeongguk is.
And, a promise is a promise.
Taehyung will make sure they win, no matter what.
“Alright, there’s two minutes, I have something to say,” Coach Lee announces, the silence filling the locker rooms again due to the whole team being attentive.
“I know that whatever I say now won’t remove the pressure, the fear of losing, but I just want you to know that you’ve come far, and you should be proud. Even if we do lose tonight, you made it to the finals, and not everyone can say that. So, my advice to you when you go out there, don’t think about winning or losing, just do what you do best. It’s playing together, and striving on teamwork. I’m proud of you all, and no matter how this night ends, I’ll still be the proudest Coach.” He looks away, wiping down his left eye, and everyone coos.
“Aw, Coach Lee!”
Coach Lee dismisses it with a hand, and the team laughs lightly. Taehyung already feels a bit better, and it seems to be the same case for Jeongguk.
They gain eye contact, Jeongguk smiling softly and Taehyung reciprocates. There are no words said in between them, but Taehyung can hear Jeongguk loudly.
You got this.
Taehyung sends a confirming nod, Jeongguk stepping away from the locker before joining him in line to step out.
The path towards the stadium is brutal. There’s barely any light, only at the end of the stranded hallway. Taehyung can hear the crowd, and the more they cheer loudly, the more the pressure grows.
Away games are never fun. The lack of support only adds more intensity to the matches, and to proving themselves. No one sitting in the stadium wants them to win, and Taehyung feels nauseous at the thought.
To get rid of the weird gut feeling, Taehyung glances behind him, Jeongguk looking surprised, as if he’s been staring this whole time, and Taehyung grows hot.
Oh .
They finally reach outside, the grass soft under Taehyung’s cleats.
The opponents greet them coldly, barely looking at them as they move past one another. Taehyung tries not to let it get to him, but he has a bad feeling about this.
Daegu were aggressive, but the Tokyo team seems to be on another level.
Coach Lee and Jihoon cheer them on from the sidelines when they run to their positions, Taehyung shaking his limbs as the referee comes in between the two teams with a coin.
He points at Tokyo, signaling their start, and Taehyung grows anxious.
The whistle blows, and then they move.
It always starts off slow, testing the waters, and Tokyo is fast. They’re precise, know where they stand, and it makes their teamwork extraordinary.
Mingyu and Jimin have a hard time catching up with them, the ball moving fast.
Hoseok and Seokjin bend their knees, ready to take whatever comes at them. Taehyung’s heartbeat is pounding loudly in his throat, and it doesn’t stop until Seokjin blocks the shot from the opponents, the ball flying in the hands of Kwan.
There’s hope.
Kwan is efficient, sending it forward creating motion for the Red Devils.
Mingyu takes it, goes around an opponent running towards him, and sends the ball directly to Jeongguk.
He doesn’t steal a glance towards Taehyung, knowing exactly where he stands, and he does all he can to get them free before a shot can be taken.
Taehyung pushes past the defense player, ready to receive the ball from Jeongguk, and when he does he takes the chance.
The ball doesn’t land inside the net, Taehyung groaning in anger when he jogs backwards as the whistle blows.
The goalkeeper runs after the soccer ball that was planted behind him, and Taehyung spits onto the grass.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jeongguk says beside him, slapping a hand on his back.
“Okay. Yeah, okay.”
It shuts off any building thoughts that give nothing but hopelessness to the situation. Taehyung watches the ball flying over their heads, the touch from Jeongguk lingering on his back.
The match is so intense Taehyung feels like he blacks out halfway through. Time doesn’t feel real when your blood pumps, and your concentration is locked.
One second Jeongguk was assisting him to a goal that failed again , Taehyung’s foot slipping before he could aim, and the next there’s five minutes left before halftime.
Five minutes.
Five minutes to get a goal in, to feel like they have a shot at this.
Taehyung’s fingers buzz with nerves when he watches his teammate regain the ball, moving forward.
This is it.
They’ve got it.
Jeongguk gains access, and Taehyung runs beside him, sending a signal high up in the air.
The ball rolls sideways, Taehyung’s foot catching it. He kicks it lightly, running in between the defense players, a shot becoming clear.
Taehyung’s leg moves to shoot but then he falls flat down when he’s pushed roughly from behind.
His breath catches in his throat, the pain unbearable in his chest. Taehyung tries to move around but everything looks blurry, and then the whistle blows.
“Taehyung! Hey, you good?”
Jeongguk kneels beside him, staring with a panicked expression, and Taehyung nods, the ache less suffocating.
“Take my hand, come on.”
Taehyung reaches out, Jeongguk’s hand soft and firm against his.
Gently, he gets pulled up.
When he gets back on two feet, he squeezes a hand around his chest, coughing the air that got stuck in his throat.
“He’s fine, can we play or what?!”
Taehyung looks up, notices the opponent talking to the referee that’s studying his current state.
“Watch it,” Jeongguk spits back. “Ref, you saw what happened. You’re just gonna let him leave without anything?!”
Taehyung tries to straighten his posture, groaning when a jab of pain hits him in the middle of his chest.
“He looks fine.”
“Seriously, watch your mouth.” Jeongguk warns, Taehyung still unable to talk.
The referee takes another second in staring down Taehyung’s state, and then he brings out a yellow card, pointing at the player who was nothing but ignorant to Taehyung’s state.
“Seriously?! I barely nudged him!”
“You wanna go there?! Right now?! You knocked the breath out of him, you hurt him!”
“Pff, whatever.” The opponent rolls his eyes, running back to his teammates who are wondering about the sudden pause.
Taehyung clears his throat, finally catching his breath properly, his chest less achy when he inhales.
“Deserved,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk looks at him, less anxious.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Can you play? Do you need a minute?” Jeongguk asks, double checking, and Taehyung’s heart melts in an instant.
“I’m fine, seriously, I can play.” He’s surprised he’s not stuttering, his internal state a fucking mess after the care Jeongguk had shown just now.
The referee blows the whistle, the match continuing.
There’s no luck the last two minutes, none of the teams getting a goal in which creates a dreadful ambiance when the Red Devils walk back inside the locker rooms for their break.
Jeongguk doesn’t leave Taehyung’s side once, and neither do his eyes. They’re constantly on Taehyung to the point he feels his skin start to burn.
“Drink some water,” Jeongguk orders, grabbing his water bottle when Taehyung sits down on the bench.
“Thanks.”
“Tae! You okay?!” Jimin joins his side, embracing him in a side hug. “That shit looked brutal.”
“Some dickhead knocked him down,” Jeongguk says, still fueled in anger over the situation. Taehyung can’t blame him.
“Tokyo is certainly not fooling around. What’s with them?! I thought Daegu were rough but this is just…”
“Yeah…Yeah.” Jeongguk’s eyes drop down to his cleats, and Taehyung looks upwards, seeking his gaze again.
“We’re gonna win,” Taehyung says, Jeongguk’s eyes finding his own again.
“Okay.”
“Fuck them yeah, we’re gonna win,” Jimin repeats, squeezing Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Yeah, fuck them.”
Soohyun is next to find Taehyung, crouching down in front of him. “You good? Can you play?”
Taehyung nods, mouth full of water.
“Good. Was the yellow card your doing?” Soohyun asks Jeongguk.
“Yeah, no way in hell was that dickhead gonna walk away like that. Pissed me off how ruthless he was.”
“Good, you did good, Jeongguk.”
“Thanks, Cap.”
Silence wraps around them, and Taehyung finally takes a moment to process what happened out there. It’s not even the knockdown he thinks about first but Jeongguk . How he hadn’t hesitated to run over to him, help him and then—then he just, God .
Taehyung blinks.
Jeongguk stood up for him, had his back like never before to the point Tokyo went to break with a yellow card splattered on their necks.
That’s…
Hot.
Taehyung slaps himself internally, no time to grow excited over this when there’s something far more important right now.
He takes a deep breath, feeling another twitch—
Nope. Don’t. Don’t even.
Jeongguk kicks his shin lightly, noticing his sudden panic.
“You good?”
“Mhm, yeah—m’great. Just—yup, great. Good as new!”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Okay…”
“Seriously, I’m fine.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Oka—”
“We’re not doing this again with you two. Taehyung, is there anything you need?” Soohyun interrupts.
“Nah, I’m good, Cap. Seriously.”
“Alright. Be careful out there, they’re fucking sharks.”
Taehyung snorts. “Yeah, yeah you’re not wrong.”
When they walk back out, Coach Lee squeezes Taehyung’s shoulder.
“You’re good to play?”
Taehyung nods. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Okay, go kill it out there.”
The Tokyo team don’t become any less rough, pushing harshly through them to try and score, but Namjoon manages to block with his formidable skills.
Running on the field, sweat collecting on his nape and forehead, Taehyung almost forgets that this is the last time they’re playing like this, with the intensity, with the goal to win.
Everything feels so unreal, time as well. It doesn’t work the same way when you play, it passes by so much faster, and Taehyung feels the pounding ticking noise in his throat of the timer when the last three minutes of the match are evident.
The crowd seems to be just as stressed, less loud than earlier as if hope has slipped from their hands by each passing second without a goal from either team.
Taehyung makes a mental note that they’ve possessed the ball more than Tokyo which in his book gives them a higher chance at winning.
They can do this.
They just need a shot at this.
Jeongguk gains access to the ball, shooting it towards Taehyung who runs towards the goal. The defense players are tough-skinned, legs kicking underneath his own to reach the ball but Taehyung works his way through.
He has a hard time noticing what’s around him, too focused on the soccer ball rolling further upwards, giving him momentum for a perfect shot.
Come on, Taehyung. You’ve got this.
Taehyung breathes shakily, buzzing with nerves, leg sore when he pulls it forward but then he’s met with resistance.
It’s the same player, the one who knocked him down before, and he seems keen on getting it to the other side. Taehyung tries to win the war, using the strength in his shoulders to create enough space for the ball to remain in his possession.
He’s almost got it but he feels like he’s going to lose. Taehyung grits his teeth, the pain from earlier coming back into his chest, and then the pressure is gone.
Taehyung steals a quick glance, and catches the opponent pulling Jeongguk roughly by the shirt, enough for him to fall onto his back.
What the fuck.
The whistle blows.
Taehyung removes himself from the ball, and runs towards Jeongguk who’s blowing out a breath.
“Jeongguk—hey!” Taehyung offers a hand, Jeongguk grabbing it with zero hesitation.
When Jeongguk’s back on his feet, he almost lurches towards the player. Taehyung blocks him, not wanting them to get in trouble at the final.
“Hey, it’s not worth it.”
Jeongguk relaxes, nodding in agreement, and the opponent laughs loudly.
It seems to send a tick in Jeongguk, his anger back up.
The referee runs over to interrupt whatever tension is about to break out, and then he announces something to the crowd.
“Penalty shot to The Red Devils.”
Holy shit.
Jeongguk smiles widely, realizing faster than Taehyung that this is their chance.
This is it.
Shit.
The referee picks up the ball, ignoring the tangent from the player who’s offended, trying to talk his way out of it when everyone—including their biggest supporters—saw the rough pull.
He walks over to Coach Lee and Jihoon, waiting for an answer on who’s going to take the shot, and Taehyung freezes in his spot.
“Hey, you’re gonna make it.”
“Jeongguk—I, I haven’t done one since—”
Since my Dad left.
“Nothing's gonna happen. We’re all behind you, Taehyung. We’re not leaving. I promise.”
Taehyung sucks in a breath, trying to nod but he’s clogged with memories of his younger self, crying out alone on the stranded field.
“Taehyung.” Jeongguk steps closer, and brings a hand to his shoulder. “Don’t think.”
Don’t think.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t think, yeah? Just shoot,” Jeongguk repeats. “Just shoot.”
“Just shoot.”
“Yeah, exactly, nothing else.”
Taehyung feels himself come back down, the nightmare distant, and the present now louder than ever. Jeongguk’s here, in front of him, and they’re going to win.
Taehyung is going to make them win.
“Player 6, you’re up.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t think, Taehyung!” Jeongguk shouts when he runs back to join the others.
The ball feels heavier in his palms as Taehyung walks forward, and places it down on the line.
He takes a deep breath when he walks backwards, awaits the signal, staring down at the net instead of the goalkeeper who’s moving around to distract him.
Every noise sounds muffled, the crowd, Coach Lee and Jihoon, and his teammates behind him. He doesn’t hear any of their words, focusing solemnly on one thing.
Just shoot.
His breath becomes louder, heartbeat too, and then the loud whistle interrupts it.
He runs forward, swinging his leg, and then everything slows down.
Sweat drops down Taehyung’s temples when he watches it fly at full speed, the goalkeeper jumping on his left side to try and catch the ball, but it moves past, grazing the tips of his gloves before it finally lands home.
The whistle rings again, and his teammates cheer loudly behind him.
Taehyung can’t believe it.
He’s still stuck in the same place caught into a daze of feeling like everything isn’t real until he’s brought back to the ground by a warm presence.
Jeongguk .
Jeongguk is…
He squeezes him tighter, every part of him warm and loud, and Taehyung instantly melts against him.
Taehyung indulges, reciprocating in an instant, overjoyed by the fact that he did it, that they’re here.
They’re both sweaty and gross, but Taehyung could care less because he’s hugging Jeon Jeongguk, and they’ve won.
“You did it,” Jeongguk whispers against his shoulder, and Taehyung feels like crying, too overwhelmed with emotions he’s never felt before.
The rest of the team wrap around them, Taehyung feeling the touch of everyone who’s around him, and while he’s thriving on the joy of winning, he’s reminded of something much more important.
People stay, and not everyone leaves.
Taehyung feels like he’s dreaming when he’s lifted up by Mingyu and Yoongi who are cheering loudly, making their win known to the whole fucking world.
He swims in happiness, drowns in the feeling of winning, the high of it all.
When he gets placed back down, Coach Lee and Jihoon run over with proud smiles, hugging Taehyung tightly, uncaring that he’s drenched from head to toe.
Taehyung knows he’ll never forget this moment, and for the first time, he’s happy about it. He’s excited for it to pop into his head, flash images randomly when he least expects it.
And especially this.
Jeongguk’s dimpled smile hasn’t dropped once since the shot was made, and Taehyung doesn’t care that he continues to stare, that he makes it known.
The trophy feels heavy even though they’re all carrying it together, flashes blinding them with the pictures taken.
After it all dies down, Coach Lee and Jihoon take it, leaving them to pick up their things in the locker rooms, and celebrate properly as a team.
Soohyun slaps the metal locker doors, everyone joining in, screaming and shouting their chant.
It all feels like a dream, a dream Taehyung never wishes to be woken up from.
An hour has passed since their win.
Taehyung can still hear the high of it all, the noises in the locker rooms and the intense cheers his teammates carried as they collected their things to leave. He can still feel Jeongguk’s warmth draped around him, remembering the firmness of his muscles as they tightened around him in a strong embrace after he’d put himself out there for the team to win.
It all feels unreal. Even after coming back to the hotel, the ambiance a stark difference from the crowded stadium. All of it still doesn’t feel real.
Taehyung’s freshly showered as his ears continue to ring, rummaging through his clothes in the open duffel bag beside his bed.
They’re going out tonight, to celebrate their win. Jimin had suggested a certain time for all of them to meet in the lobby, but Taehyung could feel the adrenaline still pumping in his system.
He needed a proper moment to collect himself, to get rid of the unexplainable feeling mixed with adrenaline, and therefore decided to meet them there.
As water drips from his hair onto the towel draped over his bare shoulders, Taehyung finally gets ahold of his pants, dragging them over his legs and the fit is a bit tighter than usual.
He’s just about to zip them up when he hears a knock on his door.
He lifts his head in surprise, but part of Taehyung had expected Jimin to wait for him, wanting them to spend this win together. He smiles at the thought, leaving his pants undone as he goes to grab the door handle.
Taehyung swings it open in one motion, the door heavy in his hold, and just as he’s about to throw a comment on how Jimin can never keep his word, his mouth drops in shock.
“J-Jeongguk? What, uh, what are you doing here?”
He’s there, standing on the other side of the door in gym shorts, and an oversized black t-shirt. His hair’s slightly damp, and he smells strongly of the sweet scented fancy shampoo bottles the hotel offers.
Taehyung’s just about to question if he’s feeling alright, seeing he’s not dressed properly for where they’re going, but Jeongguk beats him to it.
“You—you made us win.” His pupils are blown wide, filled with something foreign, a look Taehyung has never seen before. He sounds out of it, breathless when he says it, as if he himself doesn’t believe what had happened earlier on the field.
“I—yeah.” Taehyung’s stunned himself, the adrenaline still lingering in his system.
Jeongguk gulps, eyes scanning Taehyung for a quick moment. He smacks his lips.
“You—you just, you, fuck. ” Jeongguk curses under his breath, and then he walks forward, crashing his lips onto Taehyung’s own.
The lingering noise in his head from earlier stops in an instant, the only sound able to reach Taehyung is the small gasp that falls from Jeongguk’s lips after the first firm press of their lips.
Fuck— fuck.
The door shuts close in rhythm with the towel draped around Taehyung’s shoulders falling flat onto the carpeted floor of the hotel room.
“Jeonggu—”
“Don’t think,” Jeongguk whispers, lips wet as they glide over Taehyung’s. “Fuck, please, don’t think.”
Taehyung wants to, he really wants to but somehow Jeongguk’s words don’t latch on like they did out there, and he can’t help but wonder if they’re even directed to him.
“I’m—” Taehyung doesn’t know what to say, feels like he should say something because of what happened just now, but there’s too many emotions swirling into one big crumpled mess.
Jeongguk’s here, in his hotel room. He’s not at the club with the rest of the team, he’s here, leaning into Taehyung after having kissed him.
Shit.
Jeongguk just kissed him.
Jeon fucking Jeongguk just kissed him.
Taehyung thinks he’s dreaming but then Jeongguk moves again, close enough for their breaths to mingle. He smells like mouthwash, the strong mint infiltrating Taehyung’s nostrils in an instant.
Shit.
This is real.
It’s super inappropriate, but Taehyung feels himself grow hard when reality sinks in, cock now straining in his unzipped pants quite fast. Taehyung doesn’t act on it, eyes scanning over Jeongguk’s face, trying to read him, seeking for an answer on why .
He can’t read him.
Taehyung should probably ask questions, place a hand onto Jeongguk’s chest, and stop whatever’s been started in his room, but the mere kiss from Jeongguk has shut it all off.
The moment he realizes this is in fact real , Taehyung shuts down, and falls into it.
He pushes forward, kissing Jeongguk like he’s yearned to do, with rough precision, and enough tongue to trace every edge of his mouth.
Taehyung kisses Jeongguk to feel it all. Everything.
It doesn’t stop.
Taehyung’s hands glide over Jeongguk’s clothed back, the fabric soft under his fingertips while he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Taehyung feels a sudden, soft tug to his damp hair, drops of water now gliding down his back, as Jeongguk’s hands feel cold against his hot nape. He tries not to push himself fully into Jeongguk, embarrassed that he’s already extremely hard by nothing but a kiss.
Fuck.
Taehyung’s just about to seek his hot, sweet tongue again when Jeongguk pulls away from him.
He stares at him, gaze intense, and Taehyung’s just about to apologize for being desperate when the tip of Jeongguk’s finger goes to trace over his wet, slicked lips.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk says, the name half slurred like he can’t believe he’s able to say it in this exact moment. Taehyung melts against Jeongguk’s touch, lips seeking in need for a taste again, but he holds back as best as he can.
Maybe Jeongguk regrets it. Maybe this was a mistake.
“Touch me.”
Holy fucking shit.
Taehyung blinks, thinking he’s imaging it all, but then Jeongguk repeats it.
“T-Touch me, Taehyung.”
With shaking fingers, Taehyung slides his hand forward, trailing down Jeongguk’s stomach. He’s almost about to reach for Jeongguk’s waistband when his throat grows hot at the thought of being able to touch Jeongguk like this again.
Jeongguk bucks into it, squeezing his palm around Taehyung’s nape when his fingers tug beneath the band of his boxers, reaching further down.
The material is soft against Taehyung’s skin, and then he swallows a lump in his throat when he cups Jeongguk’s cock.
He moans in sync with Jeongguk, overwhelmed by the fact that Jeongguk’s here, standing in front of him, allowing him to touch him like this again after months.
Jeongguk’s lip curls, followed by a gasp when Taehyung squeezes around the tip. Taehyung’s mouth falls slack at the sight, and the feeling of Jeongguk’s heavy, soft skinned cock beneath his fingers.
“ Fuck —” Taehyung whines when he feels the precum as a finger glides over Jeongguk’s tip. Jeongguk’s no better, eyes so hazy that they can barely look back at Taehyung.
“Jeongguk.”
“Keep— fuck, keep going,” Jeongguk whispers, resting his forehead against Taehyung’s own.
They suck in the same air as Taehyung moves his shaky hand, stroking him slowly, courage building up alongside it.
He’d never expected this. He’d expected for them to go out, stare at Jeongguk all night as he dances with the others but instead—
“ Ah , yeah.” Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze against Taehyung’s skin. “Y- Yeah , shit—”
“C-Can I kiss you?” Taehyung asks, voice low for only Jeongguk to hear. “Please, can I—”
Jeongguk doesn’t let him finish, tilting his head to slot their lips together. Taehyung’s eyes fall closed, sucking and tasting every part of Jeongguk as his hand continues to work on Jeongguk’s cock hidden in his boxers.
Vibrations tickle Taehyung’s tongue, and it isn’t until Jeongguk pulls away again that Taehyung realizes he’s trying to say something.
“ More , want…” Jeongguk takes a deep breath. “Want more.”
Taehyung nods his head quickly, ready to give whatever Jeongguk wants.
They kiss again, only instead of remaining by the door, Taehyung feels his step move backwards, Jeongguk pushing them towards the bed.
Neither sit down on it, Taehyung because he’s too overwhelmed to catch up with what’s happening, hand still wrapped around him, and for Jeongguk it’s like he expects Taehyung to take the lead. He’s done it every other time, easily taken control the other times they’ve fucked, but this—this is different.
For the first time, Taehyung doesn’t want to fuck Jeongguk to get inside his head, to shut down the voices repeating the mess he’s running away from, no. He wants to have sex with Jeongguk because every part of him yearns for him. He wants to have sex with Jeongguk because he really really likes him. He wants— God , he wants Jeongguk so much it almost hurts.
He squeezes around the tip, collecting more precum that drips down Jeongguk’s length, making the glide smoother. Taehyung wants to take everything off of him, to be greedy and act on nothing but extreme impulsiveness with no thoughts collecting in the back of his mind but—he’s scared to.
The whole situation feels sensitive. Taehyung’s afraid that one wrong move will have Jeongguk slipping away, and he can’t have that. Fuck. Just the mere thought makes Taehyung feel sick to his stomach.
“Don’t think,” Jeongguk says, this time directed to Taehyung. It’s like he could see it, the intensity of the situation catching on, and the doubt.
Taehyung listens, shuts down whatever tries to pass by his head, and allows himself to feel. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to have Jeongguk like this again, and while it is extremely selfish of him, he takes.
Fuck, he takes it all.
Roughness latches onto the edges of Taehyung’s fingers, now digging into Jeongguk’s waist as he pushes him down to sit on the edge of the bed. Jeongguk gasps at the sudden switch, but he doesn’t seem opposed to it. He looks rather excited, a glimpse of it showing in his gaze when Taehyung drops down to his knees with zero shame.
He tugs what he can, the black gym shorts, and boxers joining Taehyung’s knees on the floor. Jeongguk takes it upon himself to remove his shirt, the nipple piercing and chest tattoo still present. The barbell shines when Jeongguk grows comfortable under the dimmed lights of the room.
Taehyung grows dizzy at the sight of Jeongguk completely naked in front of him. He wants his mouth everywhere, tracing every edge with his tongue, and instead of holding back, he gives into it all.
He takes.
Taehyung’s hands grip around Jeongguk’s thighs, the softness of his skin warm against his palms. He squeezes, Jeongguk gasping as his hands clutch onto Taehyung’s shoulders. It’s almost as if he’ll lose himself if not, give himself completely, and Taehyung’s throat goes dry at the idea.
He likes Jeongguk’s cold hands on him, fingers digging on his shoulder blades as Taehyung leans forward, kissing his chest with soft, needy lips. The sight of the nipple piercing disappears when Taehyung wraps his mouth fully over it, the metal turning warm in an instant when his tongue traces its shape.
“Oh f- fuck , Taehyung—” Jeongguk moans, grip around him more firm.
He doesn’t stop, nibbles, and continues to lick over the brown sensitive bud, Jeongguk now writhing beneath him.
Every noise that comes out of Jeongguk’s mouth is sincere. Taehyung can hear how he has no control over it, too lost in the pleasure he’s given. It’s not like it was back then; pushed in the back of his throat, let out by accident and drenched in shame, no. Right now, it seems that Jeongguk wants Taehyung to hear him.
The thought makes Taehyung’s cock twitch.
Jeongguk’s abs tense when Taehyung reaches them. He bites down gently, knocking out a whine from Jeongguk that makes him grow even harder in his pants—if that were even possible.
Taehyung’s mouth drags closer to Jeongguk’s cock, the column of his throat brushing lightly past, as his mouth moves over his happy trail. It’s barely noticeable, but the hair tickles under Taehyung’s tongue.
He tests the waters, dragging his lips across the leaking tip. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, only breathes more deeply, and Taehyung goes for it.
He grabs the base, stroking it to fully expose the head of Jeongguk’s cock, and then he spits on it.
“F-Fuck,” Jeongguk whines, grip tightening around Taehyung as more precum spills out.
Taehyung watches his spit dribble down his length, and before it can land down on his fingers, he slots his lips on the side of Jeongguk’s cock, sucking, and licking it. He does it all over, moving up and down with a flat tongue.
When it feels wet enough, Taehyung takes a deep breath, and wraps his mouth fully around it.
Jeongguk tastes of the citrus shampoo gel, and a bit heady when Taehyung moves further down, the tip hitting the back of his throat.
His palm presses gently against Jeongguk’s balls while he moves up and down, sucking him off as best as he can.
The wet noises grow in between them, Taehyung’s pace quickening the more he’s able to taste Jeongguk.
“S-Shit, oh fu—” Jeongguk moans, trying to sit still but the pleasure seems to be too much for him to bear.
Jeongguk hasn’t stopped twitching, pulling and exhaling whenever Taehyung does the slightest thing with his cock.
“I-If you keep going, I’ll…” Jeongguk gulps. “I’ll come.”
Taehyung wants to keep going, taste everything Jeongguk gives him, but when he tries to continue, Jeongguk tightens a hand in his hair.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk warns with gritted teeth.
Looking up, Taehyung lets go of his cock, notices that Jeongguk’s been staring at him this whole time with a parted mouth, and eyes that are unable to focus properly.
Taehyung takes a moment, and stares at every detail on his face. The moles, the scar on his cheek, and the pierced holes in his ears. How his hair looks different when it’s slightly wet, the ends more curly than usual.
“What?” Jeongguk asks, a bit breathless.
Taehyung shakes his head.
He wants to tell him he’s pretty, that he can’t stop staring at him because he’s so fucking gorgeous but he can’t.
“N-nothing,” Taehyung stutters, growing hot in his face due to the embarrassment in showing such weakness in front of him.
Jeongguk looks like he wants to push it until Taehyung tells him. Smacking his lips, and wetting his bottom lip to warm it up, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he leans forward and seeks Taehyung’s lips again. The glide is smooth, tongues gentle against one another as their heads tilt in sync, deepening the kiss more and more. It’s enough for Taehyung to lose his breath.
Jeongguk pulls away first, hands finding their way to Taehyung’s jaw, tightening near his chin as his thumb traces over his wet bottom lip.
Taehyung moans when Jeongguk dips the front of his thumb, the weight of it on his tongue sending a thrill down his spine.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whispers, gaze hot on Taehyung’s mouth.
Taehyung gulps.
Jeongguk removes his thumb, and kisses him again, like he can’t get enough. Taehyung melts into it, hands moving to cradle around his nape, fingers turning wet when they run through the damp hair.
His knees start to ache but Taehyung pays it no mind, the taste of Jeongguk making up for it.
Too busy nibbling on his bottom lip, Taehyung doesn’t notice how Jeongguk moves closer to him, arms snaking around his back, nails digging into skin when Taehyung’s tongue tangles with Jeongguk’s own.
“Mm—” Jeongguk moves his mouth, kissing Taehyung's jaw, and down the juncture of his neck. Taehyung’s grip in Jeongguk’s hair tightens, the feeling of his warm tongue overwhelming.
“Shit—” Taehyung groans, Jeongguk’s lips curving into a smile against his skin but not ever stopping.
Jeongguk’s mouth lands by his collarbones, and Taehyung tilts his head back to make space, growing addicted to the way Jeongguk sloppily kisses him all over.
“Want…” Jeongguk starts, pulling Taehyung forward with his arms slithered around his back. “More.”
Taehyung gets up, his knees popping by the sudden movement, but neither comment on it.
The mattress feels soft under his legs when they move to lie down on the bed, Jeongguk’s legs spreading further for Taehyung to nestle in between them.
The heel of Jeongguk’s foot hooks over Taehyung’s ass, pressing him flushed against him. The sudden move causes Taehyung to moan, his clothed cock pressing down against Jeongguk’s own.
It feels like such a relief, Taehyung panting when Jeongguk bucks into him, the friction hot between them.
“Jeongguk, fuck— Jeongguk ,” Taehyung says in a quick breath.
Jeongguk doesn’t stop, fingers dancing along the lines of Taehyung’s waistband, and hurriedly pulling them down, wanting everything off.
Taehyung notices the slight struggle, so he takes over, taking it all off, and kicking the excess off when it reaches his ankles.
Jeongguk’s quick, wrapping a hand around Taehyung, and stroking him without a second doubt. The touch is electric, Taehyung’s whole body feeling it all, and it’s so intense that he stops Jeongguk.
“Slowly,” Taehyung guides, and Jeongguk nods, obeying and moving his hand up and down in the preferred rhythm, squeezing only when he reaches the tip. “Yeah, like that, fuck…”
Taehyung’s forehead knocks down onto Jeongguk’s chest, taking in the feeling of being touched after so long.
It’s unexplainable, Taehyung so fucking out of it the more Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze over the head, thumb gliding back and forth on his slit.
Taehyung bites down onto Jeongguk’s pecs in warning, feeling himself about to tip over already. “You’re so fucking—”
He doesn’t know what he wants to say, propping himself up properly to kiss Jeongguk instead, taking as much as he can.
Jeongguk swallows his moans with his tongue, tasting everything Taehyung gives him at this moment. Taehyung’s elbows sink into the mattress, their bodies heating up at the skin to skin contact.
Taehyung’s hand seeks Jeongguk’s cock again, fingers trailing down the side of his body, almost reaching it when Jeongguk’s hand tightens around his wrist, stopping him.
Their lips detach, Taehyung staring at Jeongguk with a slight panicked expression, the doubt resurfacing but it’s shot down in an instant when Jeongguk swallows a lump in his throat, and whispers.
“Fuck me.”
Taehyung blinks, jaw dropping further down as his breathing slows down in shock. “Wh—”
Jeongguk arches his back, tightening his hand around Taehyung’s cock. “Taehyung, fuck me.”
“O-Okay,” Taehyung answers, panicking internally at the thought of being inside Jeongguk again. For a second he forgets everything, rolling over to dig in the duffel bag by his bed, expecting to find condoms and lube faster than lightning striking.
Taehyung feels like cold water dumps on him when he only finds a bottle of lube at the very bottom of his duffel bag, a sign it hasn’t been used in months.
Shit.
Taehyung had stopped walking around with condoms and lube ever since he came to the realization about his feelings for Jeongguk, seeing no point in it now that his dick was adamant on working for one person only.
“Fuck,” Taehyung curses loudly, holding tightly onto the bottle of lube.
“What?” Jeongguk asks, and Taehyung turns around, showing him the bottle of lube.
“I only have lube.”
“Oh.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen, no longer hazy, and Taehyung notices how he’s brought back to reality alongside him.
Taehyung tries to think of a solution, knowing they can do so much without penetration involved.
He’s just about to suggest something when Jeongguk beats him to it.
“Are you clean?”
Taehyung’s throat goes dry, words unable to reach his mouth, stuck in his throat.
He’s never done it without a condom, has always found it to be too intimate, like he’s giving every part of himself to someone during sex.
But this is Jeongguk .
Taehyung nods dumbly with no hesitation.
“Okay, then…” Jeongguk gives him a look, and Taehyung loses it.
He moves back up to tower over him, their thighs pressed again, the contact warmer by the minute with neither of them moving. Taehyung sits up, opening the bottle of lube while Jeongguk adjusts himself, lifting his hips to give better access for Taehyung.
“Are you su—”
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls out, chuckling when Taehyung’s eyes widen. “Just fuck me.”
“Okay,” Taehyung says with a firm nod. “Okay.”
He pours some lube over his fingers, warming them up after placing the bottle back down onto the bed before guiding his hand down to Jeongguk’s hole. Taehyung rubs over the rim, keeping an eye on Jeongguk to assure he’s okay with all of this.
When Jeongguk grinds into the touch, Taehyung inserts a finger.
“Hmph—” Jeongguk moans in the pillow beside him, crushing his face in the fabric as if the sight alone is overwhelming enough.
There’s a bit of resistance, Taehyung taking his time, dragging his finger back, and forth until it becomes easier.
Jeongguk loosens slowly, more relaxed beneath Taehyung, enough to take two fingers. He doesn’t even have to ask before Taehyung does it, filling him up more.
The grip around the pillow tightens, and instead of hiding the noises from Taehyung, Jeongguk turns to face him, staring with half lidded eyes.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses under his breath, smiling a bit when he catches Taehyung’s cock twitching in anticipation.
Taehyung gulps, moving his fingers, growing hot headed at the thought of having this exact warmth, and heat wrapped tightly around his cock.
He groans the more Jeongguk grinds into it, showing how much he loves the feeling of getting fucked, even though it’s two fingers.
“Jeongguk, God , you’re gonna kill me,” Taehyung admits, and stands by it. He’s not getting out of here alive, not with the way Jeongguk is right now, dripping in desperation and need over having Taehyung’s cock.
Jeongguk hides a smirk, tilting his head sideways but doesn’t stop, which only shows Taehyung how much he loved hearing that.
Yeah.
Taehyung’s gonna fucking die.
After the third finger enters, Jeongguk can barely talk, mumbling incoherent words the more Taehyung moves.
It isn’t until Taehyung feels absolutely no resistance that he stops, tapping Jeongguk’s inner thigh to catch his attention.
“Good?”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, s’good.”
Bracing himself, Taehyung sucks in a breath when he pulls out his fingers, wrapping them around his neglected cock before grabbing the bottle lube on the bed.
He doesn’t know how much he should pour now that it’s without a condom. Taehyung decides to play it safe, pouring a bigger amount than usual, the lube squelching when he strokes himself a few times before aligning the tip of his cock with Jeongguk’s hole.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, keeps his eyes on it as he slowly pushes in.
Both of them gasp in unison, Taehyung continuing to thrust in slowly, cock disappearing inside Jeongguk with every passing second.
It’s not until he bottoms out that he feels it all .
Jeongguk’s warm, the kind of warmth Taehyung could forever bask himself in, and fuck—he’s so tight, wrapping perfectly around him.
Taehyung feels sweat accumulate on his temple and nape, his whole body feeling hot over the close intimacy. Jeongguk’s not any better, eyes closed as he sinks into it all.
Taehyung doesn’t move, knows he’ll come as soon as he does. He remains still, tries to regain his breath and balance, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem too pleased by the lack of movement.
He tries to shift his hips, Taehyung’s cock twitching at the sudden friction, and before he can come undone like a fucking idiot, he slots both hands around Jeongguk’s waist and squeezes in warning.
“Just, give me—” Taehyung curses under his breath. “Give me a second.”
Jeongguk doesn’t move, waits patiently, and Taehyung tries his hardest to regain strength to at least fuck Jeongguk properly before reaching his own high.
He knows it’s because he hasn’t come in months, the lack of it intensifying by day, and now that he’s here, buried deep in not just anyone but fucking Jeongguk it’s hard to maintain his composure.
Taehyung encourages himself, tries to push through, but then he looks over at Jeongguk, notices how he looks so fucked out by just having Taehyung’s bare cock nestled inside him, beads of sweat collecting on his arms, and abs.
The sight is unbearable.
Taehyung can’t fuck him like this without coming in a millisecond.
Biting down on his lip, Taehyung pulls out, Jeongguk hissing in protest.
“Wh—”
Taehyung doesn’t hear him out, turning him around so he’s lying on his stomach. Jeongguk moans against the sheets, Taehyung towering over him, positioning his cock back against his hole, then thrusting gently to bury himself to the hilt.
It’s still too much, feeling every edge of Jeongguk, but Taehyung has more strength now that he’s unable to watch every reaction that comes from Jeongguk getting fucked.
Draping his full weight over him, Taehyung supports his forehead on Jeongguk’s back, inches away from his chest tattoo that slithers over his shoulder, and finally rolls his hips properly for the first time.
It’s deep, slow, the skin to skin contact scorching hot with how little movement is made between them.
Taehyung’s teeth find Jeongguk’s skin whenever he thrusts back in, moaning when he pulls away a bit to push back in.
“Oh fuck—” Jeongguk moans beneath him, hand reaching back to latch onto Taehyung’s tatted thigh, squeezing the skin whenever he’s buried deep inside.
“God—you’re so fucking tight,” Taehyung says, words a bit muffled as his lips press hard onto Jeongguk’s damp skin.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk whines. “Fuck, Taehyung—”
He keeps going, slow and deep.
Taehyung shifts his hips a bit when he’s deep inside, feeling every ridge of Jeongguk around him, cock twitching at the warmth.
Jeongguk’s so tight it feels like he’s never stopped squeezing his cock.
Taehyung keeps going, met with muffled noises from Jeongguk and skin slapping against skin. Taehyung moves back up to spread Jeongguk more open, wanting for him to feel everything Taehyung gives him in this moment.
Jeongguk’s hole gapes when Taehyung keeps his hands firm on his ass, spreading him open as he fucks into him. Taehyung moans at the sight, the constant reminder of them doing it without a condom right in front of him. He’s never seen his cock this wet before, the lube squelching loudly whenever he thrusts back in.
Taehyung finds himself grow close again, his whole body thrumming in need to come undone, but he contains it by staring at the ceiling instead, the view of Jeongguk getting fucked open by him too much to bear.
Catching his breath, Taehyung inhales, head tilted back as he feels sweat drip down his torso.
A few more thrusts, and Taehyung sucks in his breath, landing back down on top of Jeongguk, pausing for a second to avoid coming inside him.
Jeongguk cranes his neck, trying to kiss him but with the current position it’s a bit difficult to slot their lips together.
Taehyung reaches the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth, kissing him there but it’s not enough. Jeongguk seems to agree, groaning in annoyance, and Taehyung decides fuck it .
He moves back up, pulling completely out of Jeongguk before he grabs his leg to turn him back around to lie on his back.
Jeongguk smiles when Taehyung thrusts back in, joining him by supporting himself on his elbow as his mouth nears Jeongguk’s own.
“You feel s’good…” Jeongguk murmurs against his lips, lost in it all. “S’fucking good, fuck, Taehyung.”
Taehyung shifts his hips, moaning as he swallows down Jeongguk’s words, kissing him roughly, biting down on his bottom lip.
Jeongguk’s arms cradle his back, nails digging into the skin whenever Taehyung thrusts into him. Taehyung can feel his prostate, swollen and stimulated whenever he reaches deeply inside Jeongguk.
The pleasure becomes overwhelming, Taehyung unable to kiss Jeongguk due to how much he’s panting, fucking into him faster.
Jeongguk’s grip around him tightens, along with his asshole, clenching whenever the tip of Taehyung’s cock reaches his rim, only to push back in.
“You’re so—fuck, Jeongguk.” Taehyung pants out, pulling a bit away to stare at him. “J-Jeongguk, why are you…”
Jeongguk blinks his eyes open, the tears streaming down as he smiles lazily, neck covered in sweat. “Feels so…feels so fucking good.”
“Fuck,” Taehyung breathes out, pounding into him as he watches the tears continue to paint Jeongguk’s slightly flushed cheeks.
“Y-Yeah, make me come, Taehyung—mmph, make me c—” Jeongguk whines, back arched as he meets Taehyung halfway, taking everything from him, uncaring if he looks too needy.
Taehyung tries to withhold it, feeling his cock twitch uncontrollably the more he fucks into the tight heat of Jeongguk’s ass, the warmth making him dizzy to the point he slumps completely onto Jeongguk.
His forehead presses down on Jeongguk’s collarbones, fingers sliding down to grope his ass, pulling him flushed against him, thrusting sloppily inside him.
Jeongguk moans uncontrollably, tightening more and more, a sign he’s close.
“Touch yourself,” Taehyung says, voice muffled.
Jeongguk listens, wrapping a hand around his neglected cock, hissing at the contact after so long.
Taehyung stares down at the sight, the tattoos on Jeongguk’s hand gorgeous like this, wrapped tightly around his pretty cock that’s dripping wet. Taehyung almost comes then, by just looking at Jeongguk touch himself but he waits, to the point it’s borderline painful with how much he’s restraining himself.
“Yeah, yeah keep going— shit, keep going Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk’s strokes become faster, chasing his own high, and Taehyung snaps his hips against Jeongguk the moment cum spurts out on his stomach, and chest.
“C-Come inside,” Jeongguk rushes to say.
Taehyung keeps himself buried deep, glancing once at Jeongguk’s tears before he lets himself go, coming undone to the point his thighs are shaking uncontrollably. He’s never come like this before, so intense that it feels like he blacks out for a hot minute.
His forehead knocks into Jeongguk’s own, panting worse than he did out there on the field after they won, and Jeongguk’s not any better, sniffling as he comes back down to a solid ground.
It’s quiet between them, and for a second, Taehyung imagines that the situation is different, that he’s with Jeongguk and that they had sex to celebrate their win.
The fantasy continues when Jeongguk reaches out for Taehyung, pecking his lips gently.
Yeah. Taehyung’s fucked.
Jeongguk shifts his hips, showing discomfort to the cum that’s sticking between them. Taehyung removes himself, kissing Jeongguk’s inner thigh before he disappears inside the bathroom to soak in a cloth.
After wringing it, Taehyung comes back out, Jeongguk still lying down with his legs spread.
He cleans him up, careful around his sensitive hole. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, remains quiet, and just before Taehyung can build courage to ask him to stay, Jeongguk rolls over to find his disregarded clothing.
Oh.
The silence is deafening, Taehyung’s heart sinking in his chest when Jeongguk doesn’t even look at him while putting on his t-shirt, and shorts.
He fixes his hair, and then his eyes find Taehyung’s.
“Uh…” Jeongguk’s unsure on what to say, swallowing his tongue along with his words. Taehyung doesn’t know if he should ask him to stay, if he should grab him and beg him to explain why he kissed him, why now.
“Goodnight,” Jeongguk finally says, gaze dropping before Taehyung can reciprocate. He opens the door, disappears, and Taehyung collapses onto the bed.
Fuck.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Taehyung has barely slept, feeling like complete shit in the morning. Jimin comes into his room while he’s packing, remaining quiet despite having thousands of questions on the tip of his tongue.
“You never came out with us,” Jimin says instead, stating the obvious. Taehyung shrugs, too busy drowning in his thoughts to properly explain why he didn’t.
“Sorry,” he settles on saying, apologizing for his lack of presence when the celebration had been for all of them.
“It’s okay, I’m just wondering why you didn’t show up.” Jimin crosses his arms, leaning against the wall of the hallway while Taehyung moves back and forth between the bathroom and bedroom to collect everything.
“I—” Taehyung feels sick just thinking about it, the sight of Jeongguk leaving still seared into his brain. “I just…”
“Tell me,” Jimin urges, and Taehyung gives in.
“Jeongguk, he—”
“Oh yeah, he wasn’t here yesterday either, Mingyu pointed it out while we were grabbing shots and—wait…” Jimin widens his eyes. “D-Did something happen?!”
Okay. Here goes nothing.
“We had sex,” Taehyung says, closing his eyes, scared to see Jimin’s raw reaction.
“What the fuck?!” Jimin screams. “What the actual fuck?!”
“Keep it down, fuck—” Taehyung rubs his temple, about to sport a headache due to the lack of sleep.
“Sorry, sorry just—what the fuck? What happened? Who initiated it? Wait, I don’t know if I wanna know that, already the idea of you and Jeongguk—” Jimin grimaces. “Gotta get used to that…”
Taehyung stares deadpanned.
Jimin lifts both arms in surrender. “Hey, I’m working on it!”
“Doesn’t even matter now.” Taehyung’s throat grows dry at the reminder of how the situation ended.
“What happened?”
Taehyung shrugs, and shoves his clothes into his bag. “He kissed me.”
His lips tingle at the memory, missing the feeling of Jeongguk’s soft ones. Taehyung rubs them down, ignoring Jimin’s intense glare.
“He kissed you.”
“Mhm…”
“Taehyung,” Jimin calls out to gain his attention. When he doesn’t get it, he tries again. “Hey, look at me.”
Taehyung finally does.
“Jeongguk wouldn’t just do that, you know that right?”
“That’s hard to believe seeing he left right after,” Taehyung scoffs, deeply hurt over it.
Jimin hums. “You don’t know what he’s thinking, Tae. You can’t just assume it meant nothing.”
“Well, it fucking felt like it!” Taehyung lashes out, throat clogged with emotions. “So just—can we drop it? I wanna go home.”
“Okay, yeah. Sorry,” Jimin apologizes, opening the door to Taehyung’s hotel room, allowing them both to step out.
They arrive in the lobby, and he sees that Jeongguk is wearing a pair of sunglasses, which seems odd, but Taehyung’s too hurt to care. Looking at Jeongguk is painful, the constant images of the intimacy between them still closely wrapped around him.
No one except for Jimin notices the tense tension between them, too overjoyed in winning, something Taehyung should feel too.
He really tries, but it’s hard whenever he feels Jeongguk’s presence close to him.
The plane ride home isn’t any easier. Taehyung can see Jeongguk’s small sprout of bed hair from his seat, but he can’t watch, closing his eyes instead trying to catch up on the lack of sleep.
Before everything turns dark, Taehyung feels eyes on him.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“Hey, come here, your tie’s crooked,” Jimin says, pulling Taehyung by the collar to fix it. Taehyung gulps, scared to see Jeongguk after a few days of silence between them.
Taehyung wants to say something, ask, but it seems pointless. Jeongguk had made it pretty clear by leaving right after. His chest burns at the reminder.
“Ready?” Jimin asks, flattening Taehyung’s tie under his suit.
“I don’t know, Minnie…” Taehyung looks down on his polished shoes.
“Let’s just try and have a good time tonight, okay?”
“Okay.”
When they reach campus, Taehyung spots his teammates, all dressed accordingly. Mingyu’s hair is getting fixed by Soohyun while Hoseok checks his tie, Yoongi laughing beside him as his hand is occupied by Seokjin’s. Jeongguk’s nowhere to be found, and Taehyung hates how his eyes seek him despite how hurt he is.
Jimin notices Taehyung’s state, and rubs a hand down his back. “Let’s just focus on celebrating, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah okay.” Taehyung doesn’t question where Jeongguk is to his teammates, instead he smiles big, tucking away his feelings.
“There’s our winning striker!” Soohyun cheers, hugging Taehyung tightly. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Taehyung.”
“You too, we did good this year.”
Soohyun nods, squeezing a hand on his nape.
Coach Lee and Jihoon grab their attention, leading them inside the building where the event is held.
Hoseok and Namjoon drape an arm each over Taehyung, chatting about their night out while they walk past lined up chairs, and long tables with sharp white tablecloths.
“Mingyu made out with the bartender even though he could barely speak a word of Japanese,” Namjoon says, pausing to snort over the ridiculousness. Hoseok’s not any better, laughing loudly as if he’s seeing it all for the first time again.
“And Jimin won against some random guy at the bar in a drinking competition.”
Taehyung shakes his head.
Yeah, that does sound like Jimin.
“What about you? Did your night go okay? Jimin told us you were pretty overwhelmed after winning,” Namjoon notes.
“S’fine, sorry I missed it.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Jeonggukie did too,” Hoseok says. “He looked like fucking shit when I checked up on him before going to bed.”
Taehyung’s curiosity spikes at the small detail. “W-What?”
“Yeah, he looked—”
Coach Lee interrupts, urging them to stand beside each other by the wall with the SNU logo painted on it for a picture. Hoseok forgets just as fast what he was about to say, and Taehyung hangs onto the mentioned detail about Jeongguk.
The professional photographer, Hana, moves them around for the perfect picture.
Taehyung gets asked to move towards the middle, and without even having to look he feels Jeongguk’s presence. Loud, and warm.
“Perfect, now, smile!” Hana says before the flash lights up.
Taehyung tries to keep it together, body stiff next to Jeongguk. It’s fine like this, less hard to handle, but then they get squeezed tightly together when Hana realizes they’re not all in the frame. Taehyung brushes past Jeongguk’s side, heart sinking when Jeongguk looks over at him, gaze filled with a million words, and Taehyung unable to decipher a single one.
Fuck.
What are you thinking, Jeongguk? Please, this is killing me.
Jeongguk’s eyes drop down to his shoes, sniffling, and then he looks up smiling at the camera but Taehyung’s eyes remain on him.
“Remember, all eyes over here!” Hana notes when she goes through the pics, Taehyung forcing himself to look away.
“Good. One, two, three!”
After gaining the perfect picture, Coach Lee and Jihoon confirming, they can finally move away from the wall.
Taehyung tries to reach out, knuckles straining when Jeongguk walks right past.
Fuck.
He disappears in the crowd, but Taehyung can spot him miles away, the dark blue suit hugging him perfectly.
Jimin grabs ahold of his hand, and squeezes it. “Hey, wanna get a drink?”
“Okay…yeah.”
Taehyung doesn’t see Jeongguk the rest of the night.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The month of August is less hot than July. There’s more wind, and it’s easier to breathe while being outside, the humidity long gone.
Taehyung’s been enjoying his summer vacation as best as he can, the upcoming semester only a few weeks away.
He’s been playing video games since they celebrated their win, and it’s also the last time he saw Jeongguk. Jimin has been in and out of the house, hanging around with Ryu in the evenings, saving the details from Taehyung due to his sensitive state.
But, it’s not like Jimin to keep it in for long.
Today seems to be the day he cracks.
He comes into the living room, standing in front of the TV, and blocking out what Taehyung’s doing with Reaper in Overwatch.
“Jimin, what the fuck?”
“I’ve fucking had it,” he shouts back, turning around to turn off the screen. “You’ve been like this for over a week, Taehyung.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re hurting,” Jimin notes, gazing gently. “And I know it’s hard but you can’t just sit here and wait until it’s magically over one day. Go and fucking talk to Jeongguk, I’m serious.”
“Jimin don’t,” Taehyung warns.
“You guys need to talk! About what happened in Tokyo, and before that—”
“Stop!” Taehyung shouts angrily. “Fuck, just—just stop.”
Jimin sighs. “What are you so afraid of? That he says no? That he doesn’t feel the same way?”
Taehyung nods, swallowing a lump at the thought, one that seems too close to reality.
“What if he says yes?”
Taehyung gives his best friend a warning look. “Don’t.”
“You wouldn’t know because you’re not trying. So, please, try .”
He wants to disregard the idea, but then a small part of him nudges him awake. It’s hope, something Taehyung thought he’d let go of the moment Jeongguk walked away, but it’s still here, and now it’s encouraging him.
Go.
Taehyung doesn’t say anything when he gets up, removing his headset and throwing the controller on the couch. Jimin nods, and then Taehyung walks out, the fresh air of the last bit of summer hitting him.
Every part of him shakes when he runs up stairs, knowing there’s no way back. He’s already taken the first step, and he won’t stop, can’t .
The familiar door comes into view, and Taehyung has a hard time breathing despite panting after rushing here.
He swallows the spit that’s accumulated in his mouth, lungs feeling hot along with his throat. Taehyung sucks in a breath, and then he rings the doorbell.
He doesn’t even know what to say when Jeongguk will face him, but figures it’s best to start off easy.
The door swings open, and Taehyung’s just about to drop a proper greeting to Jeongguk when his eyebrows raise in shock.
“Hyung?”
Jackson smiles. “Hey, Taehyung, what’s up?”
“Uh—” Taehyung rubs down a sweaty hand on his shorts. “Is Jeongguk home?”
“He’s not home,” Jackson says.
“Oh, uh, okay when will he—”
“No, he’s—Jeongguk’s on his way to Florida.”
Notes:
ktg!th: and now we wait...
ktg!jk: i think they're already grabbing stuff to throw at lati
me: pffffffffffff
Chapter 22
Summary:
It’s out there.
Notes:
previously on kick the goal...
jeongguk leaves for florida and everybody threw shit at lati for it 😊ktg!th: deserved 😜
me: shut up or i'll make him move there permanently.
ktg!th: 🤐
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
His steps feel heavy, the crowd bustling around him to get onboard.
“Excuse me—I need to get through, sorry—”
Curiosity spikes, and then he cranes his neck.
“Jeongguk.”
Everything stops.
Jeongguk stands frozen, passport and boarding pass in hand, the worker ready to take it. But Kim Taehyung is here , calling out his name breathlessly, as if he’s been running.
Fuck.
“What—what are you doing here?”
Taehyung pulls him by the arm, removing him from the line where people are hurrying to get on the plane.
Jeongguk stares, dumbfounded with a rapid beating in his chest. He internally prays Taehyung can’t hear the effect he has on him.
“I don’t want you to leave, not again,” Taehyung confesses, breath still short, and a telltale sign of how much he’s been running through the airport.
“Why?” Jeongguk asks, not wanting to get his hopes up just yet even though Taehyung’s pulling a grand gesture, and causing a scene.
“Because—because I like you like fucking crazy,” Taehyung blurts out, sweat dripping down his temples.
“You—”
“So, don’t leave. Don’t leave me again.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say, words clogged in his throat so instead he pushes forward, reaching for Taehyung like he did back at the hotel, lips seeking his and—
“Sir?”
Jeongguk jolts awake, blinking his eyes to focus on the stewardess that’s staring at him awkwardly.
“You need to put on your seatbelt, we’re about to land in Miami.”
He gulps, fingers shaking when he finds the belt and locks it closed.
She bows in gratitude, and moves towards others, reminding them of the same thing while collecting the trash as well.
Jeongguk sits in his seat, losing himself in a trance while staring at the small TV-screen displaying how far his plane has reached on the map.
None of it was real, of course it wasn’t.
He bites down on his bottom lip, nibbling in hopes of finding some lingering taste of Taehyung but it’s already long gone.
Jeongguk feels stupid. Stupid for letting his brain conjure up a fantasy that’ll never turn into a reality. This is real life, and this isn’t how it works.
He feels even dumber because he can’t even allow himself to regret what happened in Tokyo, despite how much he thinks back to it, reminiscing Taehyung’s gentle touch and carefulness and how they’d never been closer than in that moment.
But, that’s all it was. A moment. A leap of selfishness that Jeongguk indulged because Taehyung held his promise, he made them win .
And he cracked. Jeongguk's slow build of liking alongside his admiration towards Taehyung reached a limit, and he couldn’t contain it anymore. So, he went to his hotel room and kissed him, asked him to touch him, to fuck him— right there, while the rest of the team were out celebrating, completely unaware of their whereabouts.
He knows he has to work on his impulsiveness, because it does nothing but create more chaos in his mind. He’d have to bring it up in therapy, he knows that but—he doesn’t regret it. No matter how much he thinks back on it, Jeongguk truly doesn't regret a single moment.
He smiles, can’t help it even though his gaze is saddened.
He’d been hit with a hard reality by the end of it, the feeling of Taehyung’s soft lips, and the gesture of Taehyung cleaning him up snapping him out of the fantasy of it being different, reminding him that this is all there is to it, that this is the only way Jeongguk will ever be able to have Taehyung and Jeongguk— fuck , he’d been so overwhelmed by it that he left, and started to cry not long after.
Pathetic. Truly, fucking pathetic.
The plane hits the ground, Jeongguk squeezing the armrest, thrown back when he had held onto Taehyung’s hand, as if it reached for comfort on its own.
God.
The view of Miami is shown already, the palm trees swinging wildly due to the wind, and Jeongguk grows excited in seeing a familiar face again.
This is why he’s here after all.
Pushing Taehyung furthest back in his mind, Jeongguk grabs his hand luggage, and walks out alongside the rest of the passengers.
Thankfully, he packed light even though Ryu scolded him for it, making it known it’s good to bring an extra pair of pants and underwear in case. Jeongguk had shook his head with an eyeroll over his roommate playing parent right before his departure.
His phone lights up, the service back on when he nears the exit where comfort awaits him.
Jeongguk realizes Jaekyung sent him a few texts, but he doesn’t get to check them because then he hears—
“Jeongoo!”
He looks up, and instantly lights up, running to meet him in the middle.
“Jori!”
“Fuck!” Jori engulfs him, his scent the exact same, and Jeongguk inhales it all, the comfort of his presence warm.
The hug is tight, touch familiar, and Jeongguk grows emotional over being close to Jori again. He can’t believe it.
“Fuck—your hair is so different, oh my god! You look so cute!” Jori exclaims, running two hands over his curly ends.
Jeongguk smiles. “Hector cut it.”
“Of course he did. You look great—argh, can’t believe you’re here.” He brings him back in, squeezing Jeongguk extra tight before finally letting go so they can start moving.
“Me too. I’ve missed you.”
Jori’s gaze softens. “I’ve missed you too. I’m really happy you reached out, and came out here. Was your flight okay?”
“Long, really long,” Jeongguk sighs, craning his neck.
“Here, give me your bag. I’m parked a bit far—it’s like everyone and their mothers are visiting Miami suddenly,” Jori notes, grabbing the baggage from Jeongguk.
They start walking, Jori’s smile never dropping once.
“How’s everything?” Jeongguk asks, taking all the time he can to talk to the one person he’s missed the most.
“Amazing. HBCU is great, everyone’s really nice.”
They round a corner, and the sun hits them directly, and Jeongguk coughs due to the unbearable heat.
“That’s gre—Jesus—it’s fucking hot.”
Jori cringes. “Yeah, you get used to it, though.”
The car beeps awake, Jeongguk putting his luggage in the back while Jori toys with the console to get the AC going, the temperature too high to bear.
When they’re both sitting comfortably inside the car, Jeongguk asks further questions about Florida, and Jori’s friends. His therapist had advised him to not think too much about the ‘what if’s’ and more on the here and now, focusing on what’s in front of him.
Jori gets the car rolling, and keeps his eyes on the road when he answers.
“My roommate, Grayson, is great. He can be a bit messy at times but that’s ‘cause he smokes a lot of weed, and comes home shitfaced and high. Besides that, he’s not bad. He’s actually the one who showed me around when I got here, and introduced me to all of his friends, and because of him I slowly found my way around my own social circle. One of my friends, Izzy, actually invited us to a party Friday, if you’re down. We can also just chill around, do something else if you’re not up for it.”
Jeongguk shakes his head.
“No, I’m down, that seems fun.”
Part of him knows his therapist would scold him for wanting to go to a party to get shitfaced drunk to forget a certain someone thousand of miles away, but now he’s here, and besides, he’s still learning.
He wants to enjoy his time with Jori, and not have the sole focus on Kim Taehyung.
“What about classes?”
“Great, it’s very different from SNU but I really like it.”
“That’s what matters,” Jeongguk says, and means it. Jori can sense his sincerity, and smiles softly.
“Thanks, Jeongoo. You seem to be doing good, how are things back home?”
Jeongguk ignores the elephant in the room, and focuses on what’s positive.
“We won the championship,” he starts off, and Jori squeals.
“Oh shit! You’re right! Ryu sent me some pics, congratulations! I knew you could do it!”
“Thanks, Jori.” Jeongguk looks beside him, watching the big city unfold before his eyes. “And uh, I started therapy.”
“Really?”
Jeongguk steals a glance. “Yeah, I uh—I had an accident.”
Jori’s eyes bug out, and before he can explain further Jori pulls them to the side of the street to talk properly.
“What happened?”
It’s weird, talking about everything that’s happened the past months but Jeongguk knows it’s a good exercise, to talk it out rather than shove it further down.
“We had our match against Ilsan, and I just—” Jeongguk creates the picture with his hands.
“What? You fell?”
“Collapsed,” Jeongguk corrects, and Jori’s eyebrows raise further.
“Shit. I’m sorry that happened Jeongoo, I’m sorry I wasn’t there and—”
Guilt.
Jeongguk pushes it away.
“N-no, stop. It’s okay, I’m okay. I found my way around it, I mean, we fucking won , and—I don’t know, ever since I started therapy things have just gotten better.” Jeongguk tugs a string on his shorts. “I’m okay. It’s not like before, I promise. Don’t feel bad.”
Jori nods slowly. “Okay. Okay, I’m glad you’re okay. I’m glad the others are there for you, and—I know we haven’t talked much since I left because I’m far away but I’m still here Jeongoo, I’m not going anywhere.”
The words are everything Jeongguk’s been wanting to hear, a reminder that just because there’s distance, the bond they have won’t ever disappear.
He doesn’t say anything, just pulls forward and hugs Jori. It’s immediately reciprocated, hands cradling his nape, fingers softly rubbing down the hot skin.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” Jori says.
“Me too.”
They pull away, smiling ear to ear, and now that the weights have been lifted, Jori sets the car back in gear and starts driving.
“How’s it with Jackson-hyung? Is it okay?” Jori asks before it grows silent.
“Yeah, it’s great.” Jeongguk adjusts himself in his seat. “He’s the best. We miss you like fucking crazy though, you should’ve seen the face Ryu pulled when he realized he couldn’t get his shifts covered to come with me. Hector wasn’t any better, he was sad while packing to go back home for his cousin’s wedding.”
Jori laughs, able to trace out the exact expressions Jeongguk is referring to. “I miss you guys too. I’m gonna find a way to come to Seoul again, I miss the food a shit ton. Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much here but nothing beats the food in Korea.”
“Damn right!” Jeongguk says confidently, crossing his arms while Jori continues to laugh.
“Wait—are you hungry? Did you eat?”
Jeongguk’s just about to answer when a low rumble in his stomach fills out the question.
“I’m not really a big fan of plane food,” Jeongguk reasons, even though he had taken a few bites of the dishes that were brought to his seat.
“We could get some drive-thru before heading to campus?” Jori suggests.
“Sure, yeah, sounds great.”
Gas stations, and big large grocery stores are all Jeongguk is able to catch, a stark difference from Seoul who’s got something in every corner.
It grows better with time, as if they’re nearing where things are happening, where the city really comes to life . Jeongguk’s in awe of it, of how different it is from back home, and while he hadn’t properly understood Jori’s decision back then, he sees it now.
It’s subtle, but it’s present. Jori feels at home here.
“There’s a Chick-Fil-A just a little further, you down?”
“What’s that? Fast food?”
Jori nods. “Like stupid good fast food.”
“Alright, sure, let’s do it.”
The car turns into a big parking lot, driving past a long line of cars, and then the drive-thru comes into view.
Jori rolls down the windows from his side, tells Jeongguk what’s on the menu, and his usual order.
When they both feel ready, the intercom beeps and a voice rings through. Jori orders for them, fast and precise and it’s then it hits Jeongguk he’s not in Seoul right now.
It’s funny, all it took was to hear the most prominent American accent to really let it all sink in. Jeongguk snorts, Jori smiling at him before they move further up to pay, and retrieve the greasy bag of food.
The girl at the window smiles kindly, handing over the food and wishing them a good day. Jeongguk reciprocates, accent thick when he says it but she seems to have understood it, and that’s all that matters.
When they find a proper spot in the parking lot, Jori turns off the car and digs his fingers into the bag, pulling out big fries and burgers with paper around it, greasy spots in the bottom. Jeongguk’s throat turns wet at the sight, realizing just how hungry he is.
“Let me know how it is,” Jori says before biting down hard on the meat, and cheese. Jeongguk follows suit, moaning as the taste makes itself known in his mouth.
“Fuck—this is good,” he mumbles with a half stuffed mouth. Jori nods with widened eyes.
“Right? The fucking best.”
Silence grows between them, the kind that signals how both enjoy the food, taking time with it so as not to get a tummy ache.
It’s such a simple moment, but Jeongguk’s never felt more calm.
He’s really missed this.
A lot.
HBCU is big— bigger than SNU, and Jeongguk grows a bit overwhelmed.
Jori seems to notice, explaining in detail about the campus and American college lifestyle.
“I was actually really surprised by how much they drink here,” Jori says. “I thought it was mostly common in Seoul, and most countries in Europe but fuck—dude they have something called borgs . Basically, you can buy a gallon of milk, and it’s this large plastic bottle, and some tend to store them to fill them up with vodka and a flavored drink, typically KoolAid. Tastes like fucking ass.”
Jeongguk laughs. “That’s crazy.”
“Right? You should’ve seen my face when Grayson made me one, and I didn’t have the guts to tell him that it tasted like straight up shit.”
The car parks, and Jori shakes his head.
“But it’s fun, it’s a part of it, and I’m just glad I get to experience it.”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, yeah no I get it.”
Somehow, a question lingers on his tongue, one he’s afraid of asking Jori because this choice was for him, and it’s good he did but he can’t help but wonder—
“Do you miss Seoul?”
Jeongguk surprises himself by asking, realizing that he’s not bottling up his growing thoughts anymore, but rather unleashes them before they become terrifyingly red anger.
Jori sighs. “I have a weird relationship with Seoul. I miss it because I miss you guys but…I don’t miss what it made me feel, and the constant questions about my ethnicity and my worth as a person.”
Jeongguk nods. He understands.
Sometimes you don’t miss a place but you miss the people there. For Jeongguk he used to miss Busan as the city he grew up in, the only form of closure he got from his mother leaving, but the people there made his mouth turn bitter.
Specifically his father.
“Yeah, yeah no I get it.”
“Ready to see campus?” Jori asks, excitement back on which Jeongguk is grateful for, not wanting to bring anything remotely negative or upsetting to the table.
“Yeah! Show me around,” Jeongguk answers while getting out of the car.
They walk alongside each other, Jeongguk pulling his t-shirt once or twice due to lack of AC, and the scorching hot weather. While it’s not unusual to have this kind in Seoul, Miami is on another level.
The area is huge, a long trail that goes towards different buildings. Rather than having a huge campus area like at SNU, it’s more broad, a bigger space to breathe, and longer distance towards the dorms.
Jeongguk regrets wearing his old Nike slides, tripping over himself once or twice while Jori launches into a tangent about HBCU and the history behind the college.
“So, yeah, that’s the library, and further down are the dorms. I don’t know if Grayson is there, so yeah, just giving you a heads up.”
“Sure, I don’t mind.”
While Jeongguk usually isn’t too fond of meeting new people, he feels comfortable around Jori, knowing he’s right there next to him if anything.
And well, Jori wouldn’t speak of his roommate if he didn’t like him to begin with, which is a good sign.
When they arrive at the dorms, Jeongguk notices a certain smell. He can’t exactly point it out, but it’s not exactly foreign.
Jori halts in the middle of the hallway, turning right towards an old wooden door. He digs into his pocket, trying to find his keys, and when he unlocks it with a bit of struggle, Jeongguk takes a deep breath.
The minute the door flies open, Jeongguk notices how small it is. A good type of small that’s perfect for exactly two people to live but—
“You sleep right next to each other?” Jeongguk asks, noticing the two night tables separating the beds. Jori nods, confirming his assumption.
“Yeah, it’s like that for everyone. Most people here can afford to live outside of campus, and in frats.”
“That’s so…” Jeongguk laughs, the word ‘American’ heavy on the tip of his tongue. Fucking frats , shit. Jeongguk never saw the day coming that he’d hear that word, when he’s only ever heard it mentioned in chick-flicks and highly cliché romance movies—Hector’s favorite genre.
The last one they watched had been a while ago, the sudden memory hitting Jeongguk in the face.
Taehyung would definitely fall first.
While at the time it had brought extreme discomfort to Jeongguk, now he’s holding onto it like it could be a reality but—that’s not how it works.
“Grayson! Hey, you’re here.”
Jeongguk’s thoughts get cut off, eyes now wandering towards the guy stepping out of the bathroom in extremely short shorts and a tank top.
The sight looks too familiar.
“This is Jeongguk, one of my best friends from Seoul!” Jori introduces it in English, and Jeongguk understands a good chunk of it.
Grayson waves awkwardly. “Sup.”
Fuck.
Jeongguk tries not to let it show that he’s thinking of Taehyung, of every single greeting he’s said exactly like this.
“Hello,” Jeongguk says, Grayson raising his eyebrows.
“You speak English?”
“A little…my English is terrible,” Jeongguk answers, the accent weaving through his speech.
“Ah, it’s really not. S’nice to meet you. I was gonna hit a bong, y’all want?”
Jori shakes his head. “We’re good, I’m just showing him around campus.”
“Alright,” Grayson says before plopping down onto his bed that’s barely put together.
Jori looks over at Jeongguk. “Wanna leave? We don’t have to stay here.”
Jeongguk nods, wanting to see the rest before he finally settles at the hotel he booked closest to campus.
“Okay, let’s go,” Jori says, looking behind him to Grayson. “See you around, Gray.”
“See ya!”
They step out, and the smell hits Jeongguk again.
“It smells weird.”
“Ah, that would be the showers,” Jori cringes, and Jeongguk’s nose scrunches in disgust.
“Smells worse than they do after practice,” Jeongguk says, chuckling a bit when he comes to know the familiarity behind it.
“Yeah, they’re…not the best.”
Jeongguk shakes his head but trails behind Jori either way, ignoring it for now.
Campus is large, to the point Jeongguk’s feet grow tired after a good hour of walking around. While he should be used to it from trudging around the hills of Seoul, the Miami heat makes it so much worse.
“Let’s get you to your hotel, and then we can meet later and go eat somewhere!” Jori suggests, rubbing a soothing hand down Jeongguk’s back.
“Yeah, sounds great, let’s do it.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The Apartment™️
jeongguk
[image.png]
:)
ryuuuuu
OMFG
AFTER A FUCKING WHOLE ASS WEEK AND A HALF OF U BEING GONE U FINALLY SHOW A SIGN OF LIFE JESUS I THOUGHT U WERE DEAD
BUT
AAAAA
JORI HYUNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGFFG
AND YOU GOT A FUCKING HAIRCUT
YOU LOOK SO CUTE
LIKE A LITTLE BABY
STOP
WHU AM I NOT THEREEEEE
IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
WHY DO I HAVE TO WORK IN FUCKASS RETAIL
hector 💙
AWWWWWW U GUYSSSSSSS
MISS U JORIIIII
your haircut looks amazing
😸
hope you’re having a great time jeonggukie!!!! (pls don’t ever go this long without talking to us. ryu has been violently crashing out over you not responding to his calls)
jackson hyung
you guys look sweet
short hair suits you!
hope you’re having fun
and yeah
what hector said
😂😂😂
jeongguk
sorry i’ve barely been on my phone
we’ve been doing so much every day :’)) sorryyyyyy
got a haircut yesterday cause the heat is fucking killing me
😩
it helped a lot honestly
but also jesus ryu chill
i’m fine dude
😭😭😭😭😭
why wouldn’t i be
also yes
i’m having a lot of fun
jori says hi
he misses u guys too
we’re about to go inside walmart
ryuuuuu
u owe me 4 convenience store runs idgaf
don’t ever do that ever again
you’re like 14 hours away from me
AND 13 HOURS AHEAD
FUCKING TIMEZONES????????
fuck off my crashout is valid
@
hector
💙
hector 💙
good luck when u come back
😟
also omg walmaaaaart
isn’t that like huuuuge
jeongguk
like fucking insane
[image.png]
THERES SO MYCH CEREAL WHAT THR FUCK
jackson hyung
what the fuck am i looking at
this is insane wow. WOW.
i gotta go to the states at some point
shit looks crazy i’m so down
ryuuuuu
yeah you and me both
i’m coming next time idc if i’ll have to kiss my boss’s feet for it I WILL
hector 💙
#ryuhasafootfetishwhatthefuckeverybodyactsurprised
ryuuuuu
you think you’re funny
you wouldn’t even have the balls to send this if u weren’t in fuckass hong kong
hector 💙
love you too
😘
jeongguk
ryu what in the
😃
ryuuuuu
shut up brat
jackson hyung
i’m gonna go to bed cause i have a shit ton of work tomorrow but have fun jeongguk!
jeongguk
goodnight hyung
thank you:)))
ryuuuuu
wait when are u coming home again????
jeongguk
in 2 days! we’re going to a dorm party tonight
ryuuuuu
ooooooOooooooOo
get some american genitalia HELL YEAH
jeongguk
wut
ryuuuuu
what
did u want me to type out every genitalia
jeongguk
i’m good………
also bruh i’m not getting laid
🙄
ryuuuuu
damn
💔💔💔💔💔
well okay then
hector 💙
whatever you decide to do jeongguk we’ll be hereeeeee
also my mom says hi
jeongguk
hi mrs. liu :DDD
that’s nice
☺️
thanks
ryuuuuu
i’ll pick u up from the airport btw send me your flight info
jeongguk
[itinerary.png]
ryuuuuu hearted your message!
ryuuuuu
perfect
now go get (not) laid!
😘😘😘
jeongguk
🤦
⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jeongguk feels like he can’t breathe.
The dorm party Jori brought him to is cramped, bodies packed tightly as they move around with minimal space between them. Jeongguk’s not any better, hiding in a corner that’s against—he already forgot the person’s name—closet.
A group of people are sharing a bong, the scent of marijuana so thick in the air that Jeongguk fears he’ll feel lightheaded the more he stands here.
Jori’s beside him, chatting to another college student, and Jeongguk tunes himself out when the language barrier becomes too present.
He’s in the middle of sipping on a flavored drink when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Jeongguk turns, and sees a girl with a bright smile.
“Hi! I’m Izzy, you must be Jeongguk, one of Jori’s friends.”
Jeongguk nods. “Yes. I am. Nice to meet you.”
She greets back, crossing her arms, the liquid in her cup sloshing near the rim by the sudden movement. “How’re you liking Miami?”
“Hot. Very…hot,” Jeongguk says, uncertain if it’s the right word to use, his English vocabulary not the strongest.
“Ah, you get used to it!” Her smile never drops as she continues to speak, the words too foreign for Jeongguk to dissect them one by one like usual.
Jeongguk blinks in confusion, tapping Jori awkwardly to let him translate. Izzy doesn’t seem offended, taking her time in including Jeongguk in the conversation despite it.
“She said that we’re heading down the beach soon! The pregame is about to end,” Jori explains thoroughly.
“Oh, oh okay.”
Jeongguk already feels so much better just by the thought of getting some fresh air, the smell intensifying the longer he remains still in the cramped bedroom.
When Izzy moves around to others and Jori’s drawn back into a conversation, Jeongguk takes a second to look around, wanting to remember this very specific moment.
He’s never been overseas before, but now that he is—despite not liking everything it has to offer—he wants to absorb the experience nonetheless.
As his eyes scan the room, he feels his heart drop down to his fucking ass at the sight of a green snapback worn by a guy who has his hands buried in the back pockets of a girl’s jeans while his tongue is shoved inside her mouth.
Usually, Jeongguk is repulsed by PDA, has never understood the need to be so open with such intimacy, but now? Now, he can’t help but feel sad.
It’s like it hits him all over again.
The night in Tokyo.
How Taehyung had held onto him, touched him so precisely well that Jeongguk felt like he blacked out for a second. How they’d kissed the whole time, something Jeongguk could’ve never imagined because this was Taehyung .
Jeongguk’s throat grows dry the longer he stares at the display of intimacy in the small dorm.
He licks his lips when he remembers how Taehyung had tasted.
Shit.
Turn it off .
He’s so pathetic. Jeongguk’s thousands of miles away from Taehyung, and yet he can’t stop thinking about him, reminders latching onto his brain. He can’t shake off how it felt to hug him, kiss him, feel him completely bare in the hotel room and—
He needs to get Taehyung out of his head.
Jeongguk looks around, trying to spot the table with the different drinks for people to take, and once he does, he goes for it, sliding in between multiple people until he reaches the other end of the room.
There’s barely any left. Jeongguk’s surprised even though he’s constantly surrounded by people who know how to drink. He grimaces when he notices how sticky the wood is due to the only half filled bottle making a weird squeaky noise when he picks it up.
Jeongguk reads over the label, and realizes it’s Vodka.
Fuck.
There’s hesitation for a good minute. Jeongguk’s afraid of what could happen next if he were to drink the strong liquor, seeing as how the last time hadn’t ended well. But somehow in his mind, being tormented by constant images of Taehyung is worse than Jeongguk getting drunk on the one liquor he tries to never touch.
Fuck it.
He pours a decent amount in the red solo cup, and takes a deep breath before downing it in one go, his throat growing incredibly hot afterwards.
After washing it down with a synthetic strawberry flavored drink, Jeongguk feels a poke on his shoulder.
“They’re heading out to the beach, let’s go.”
Jori swings an arm over Jeongguk, guiding him outside alongside with the others.
The smell of weed is just as strong in the hallway, and Jeongguk wonders how much trouble they’d get in if they were caught.
If it weren’t for the Vodka in his system he’d be more uptight thinking about that fact, but now he can’t bring himself to care.
Jori’s talking wildly with someone named Jake, and Jeongguk grabs his phone to let the time pass as they walk down the trail towards the beach.
from:
jaekyung hyung
Glad you're having fun with your friend Jori
to:
jaekyung hyung
me too
but i already miss seoul :’))
from:
jaekyung hyung
Nothing beats home
😎
to:
jaekyung hyung
exactly
😩
from:
jaekyung hyung
What are you doing tonight?
to:
jaekyung hyung
we’re at the beach
[image.png]
from:
jaekyung hyung
Damn looks fucking incredible
to:
jaekyung hyung
it’s definitely not like the one at home
😭
from:
jaekyung hyung
You bet
😂
“Jeongguk, look!”
He lifts his head up, and spots the different college students beginning to strip before running towards the water. Jeongguk laughs at the sight, and especially when one of them whines about it being too cold.
Jeongguk can’t help but reminisce back to when they were in the cabin, and Taehyung had to—
Stop.
As they dry themselves off with towels, Jeongguk clears his throat and stares back down at his phone, Jori proceeding to talk to Jake. Jeongguk’s too drunk to notice if it’s with flirtatious intentions or not.
Blinking down slowly to focus on the screen, Jeongguk scrolls with a numb thumb through Instagram, different posts appearing on his feed.
Usually he doesn’t pause for most of them, but one causes him to freeze, skin pressing down onto the screen.
What the fuck.
It’s a selfie, Mingyu smiling widely with bright red lights shining on his face. There’s a big crowd around him, a telltale sign that he was at a club in Gangnam or Itaewon, yet what really causes Jeongguk to stop and stare is the background.
Taehyung’s in it.
Jeongguk can see it’s him due to the snapback clear as day in the picture even though his face is hidden by Mingyu’s dampened hair. He probably looks incredible, and Jeongguk grows hot under his shirt by the thought. But what absolutely kills it is the fact that someone’s next to him, leaning into him and oh fuck—Jeongguk feels sick.
Jeongguk knows it’s not because of what he’s seeing, but it’s because he feels it.
Deep, ugly, and raw.
He’s jealous .
Fuck.
This is bad. This is really b—
It all happens so fast.
Running wildly up his throat, and out onto the pretty beach of Miami.
Jeongguk coughs right after, throat feeling tighter after the vomit makes its way through. The tears in the corner of his eyes start to dry out as he dabs the back of his hand onto the corners of his lips. Jori’s presence suddenly becomes loud, hands all over his back and hair.
“Jeongoo, holy shit, are you okay?!” Jori asks all worried, shaky in his dialect.
No.
No, Jeongguk is far from okay.
He’s far from okay because—
Because he—
“I like Taehyung,” Jeongguk confesses, eyes still on the remains of vomit, half already covered in sand.
Jori’s touch halts for a split second, and Jeongguk wants to take it back but he can’t.
It’s out there.
There’s no going back.
“What’s going on, Jeongoo?” Jori asks calmly, as if Jeongguk hadn’t just poured his heart out after throwing up so violently fast.
“I—I just,” Jeongguk starts. “I like him. I really like him.”
Jori blinks, taking in the heavy words with lack of information. Jeongguk wishes he could’ve said it differently but—he hadn’t expected to realize it to the fullest at this very moment.
“What—you, you like Taehyung? Kim Taehyung?”
Jeongguk nods with zero shame.
He does.
Fuck, he really does.
Jori shakes his head, fingers tightening in his hair. “Can’t believe this is what I’m missing out on.”
The way Jori says it is light, even humoristic, and maybe that’s what causes Jeongguk to laugh.
“Yeah, yeah what the fuck.”
“I could’ve sworn you hated him,” Jori adds, followed by a snort when Jeongguk’s laughter grows.
“Oh, trust me, I fucking did.”
“What happened?”
In an instant, Jeongguk feels himself sober up as he’s brought back to the mess that started in Hoseok’s storage room before Fall break.
“Too much. Too much happened,” Jeongguk answers, spitting out the last of the sour taste of bile in his mouth before straightening up.
Jori looks behind him, and then back to Jeongguk.
“Come on, let’s go walk.”
Jori brings an arm around Jeongguk, leading him away from the crowd and closer to the shore.
The sound of the waves moving to meet them halfway is calming, Jeongguk’s racing heartbeat from earlier coming down the longer he walks alongside it with Jori.
“So, Taehyung…How’d that happen?” Jori asks to lead them back to the important matters of their walk in the first place.
“Fuck, okay, uh—remember that party Hector dragged me to last year? The ugly sweater one?”
Jori’s expression drops. “Yeah…Don’t tell me you—”
“No! No, nothing happened.” Jeongguk shuts the idea down fast because yes, nothing physical happened as Jori had suggested but… “We—well, Taehyung and I tried to get Hector and Namjoon-hyung together but it backfired.”
Jori snaps his fingers. “The seven minutes in heaven game! Oh…”
“Nothing happened. Just, he, uh…He just—”
Oh God, here it comes.
“What? What happened?”
“Well, we got into a fight, and then he just…He—” Jeongguk takes a deep breath. “He suggested shutting me up with his…y’know…”
Jori’s eyes squint in confusion. “His…?”
Jeongguk points downwards, too embarrassed to say it loud.
“Oh. My. God.”
After painfully cracking an awkward smile to ease the tension, Jeongguk continues now that the bandaid has already been ripped off.
“And so…at the cabin I just—we—did…it?”
Jori’s eyebrows fly up to reach the moon. “Holy shit. It was you?!”
Somebody fucking end me.
“Mhm…” Jeongguk looks away, feeling completely bare by admitting what had really happened during the cabin trip.
“Wow…” Jori takes a minute to process everything, Jeongguk appreciating the long amount of silence he’s given. “Okay, and then what? You had sex and then you realized you liked him?”
Jeongguk chuckles dryly. “Yeah, no.”
“Huh.”
“We just…It was weird. Just a terrible fucking idea to start that , but it didn’t mean anything. Neither of us were doing it because we wanted each other, it was just—not that. It was some sick game.”
Jori whistles. “Yikes…So, you’ve been fucking around this whole time?”
“No, no it stopped at New Year’s after he had sex with Mina.” Jeongguk grows uncomfortable at the reminder, but more specifically after knowing the full context to the situation.
“Shit.”
“I thought he did it to get back at me somehow but it wasn’t even because of that.” Jeongguk tugs his hair. “It had nothing to do with me.”
Jori nods. “I don’t know Taehyung personally, but it would’ve surprised me if he did do that to get back at you somehow.”
“Yeah…I was just too angry to even take a second to think properly.”
“You still had every right to be pissed,” Jori says.
“Yeah, no I know.”
It grows silent again, and when Jeongguk finds his words to continue on with everything that happened, he speaks.
“Things didn’t change until after my accident—the one where I collapsed right before the match ended.”
“What?”
“When I woke up in the hospital, Coach benched me. He refused to have me back out there after what happened. It was bad. I felt like fucking shit for days.”
Jori’s gaze grows saddened. “I still can’t believe all of that happened right after I left.”
Jeongguk nods, squeezing Jori’s waist as a way to lessen his guilt that still seems to be present.
“I’m fine, seriously, I’m okay.”
“Yeah, yeah I know, Jeongoo.” Jori tightens his draped arm, Jeongguk knocking his head onto his best friend.
“After that Coach brought in Minjae. He’s one of our substitutes for the Red Devils, and—it just didn’t work out. He and Taehyung had a hard time playing together, and I don’t know, sitting there watching it unfold, I just knew I couldn’t just stare and let them go into the championship like this. I—I had to do something.”
“Of course you did, you’re such a sore loser.”
The way Jori says it doesn’t sting. It’s meant light, a mere observation which isn’t false. Jeongguk absolutely hates to lose, and when he does, it gets ugly. Jori had been a witness to an unforeseen breakdown in the first semester, and it had led to Jeongguk opening up about his bad habits; including overworking himself.
“I hate losing,” Jeongguk confirms, and Jori shakes his head with a small chuckle.
“So, what was your big move? What’d you do?”
“I…I brought Taehyung into Coach’s office, and I fought my way through to get back on the field by promising Coach that I wouldn’t do any goals but only assist Taehyung. He surprisingly agreed but Taehyung had a hard time with pulling scores, so to assure we’d win, I promised Coach I’d teach him how to kick the goal.”
Jori widens his eyes. “What?!”
“And that just—it changed everything.”
“How come?”
“Well, we had to somehow find a middle ground to not get on Coach Lee’s bad side. I was scared of getting benched, and Taehyung was scared to fail everyone, so we began tolerating each other for the team, and it was fine. For a good second, it was good.”
“But…?” Jori drags out the word.
“I landed back on old habits…Felt like fucking shit, like I wasn’t important anymore to the team because I basically had to give up my position and—and it’s like Taehyung caught onto it, and he just showed up when I was at my lowest, told me everything I’d been yearning to hear my whole fucking life and I just—” Jeongguk sucks in a breath. “I kissed him.”
Jori halts in his steps, turning around to properly look at Jeongguk. “Holy shit?”
“Yeah, yeah I just—I just did it.”
“What’d he tell you?”
Jeongguk’s heart softens at the reminder. “He told me that I’m good enough.”
There’s silence, the good kind. The one that tells Jeongguk that Jori’s softened by hearing the revealed detail regarding Taehyung. Not only that but he doesn’t seem surprised—not one bit.
“I’m glad he could tell you something that couldn’t be more true. I’m glad it was him.”
Jeongguk sighs. “I wish it wasn’t.”
“Because that’s what made you like him?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “No…Not that. I hated the thought of him seeing me in such a vulnerable moment. Him of all people, I just—I couldn’t fucking stand the idea. And then—I don’t know, things got weird between us, he got all quiet, and ignored me like the fucking plague but then it got better…Sort of…He’s just—everything about him feels different.”
“How come?” Jori asks.
“He began to care, like really care for the team. Jori, he made us win and I just—”
“Ah. There it is.”
“What?”
“That’s what made you start to like him. Him putting his all for the team, being determined, strong willed, hopeful…”
Jeongguk nods.
Jori’s right.
That is why.
“Yeah, yeah seeing him all—” Jeongguk makes a weird gesture with his hands while fishing for the right words. “Just—seeing him like that I—yeah.”
“Mhm, yeah. Yeah I get it,” Jori confirms.
“And he’s the first person to know about me, like all of me. It just happened. We were in Daegu, and Taehyung crumbled after the match, and it led us to talk about everything. Ourselves, the hate, and sort of the weird sex game we had going on, and after that it made me realize we might not be completely different. He’s far from who I thought he was.”
Jori hums. “Yeah, you never actually really knew him. I mean, neither do I, and I don’t think Hector and Ryu do either but—I’m glad you do now, and that you’re not left wondering about everything that went down in the first semester.”
“Me too. It was good.”
“Then what’s the problem? What’s got you all like this?”
Another moment of silence grows, and Jeongguk finally lets out what’s been bothering him since Tokyo.
“I fucked up.”
Jori squeezes his arm. “What?”
“After he made us win in Tokyo I just—I went to his room and we…” Jeongguk hides his face in both hands, turning hot by the memory of feeling every part of Taehyung.
“Shit.”
“Yeah, and I left like a fucking pussy after because it hit me that he’s never ever going to see me that way, and the last thing I wanted was to cry in front of him like an idiot.”
“Jeongoo…”
“I just couldn’t stop crying. I slept like fucking shit, have felt like shit for a good minute now. And I’m really happy to be here, Jori, but I just—I can’t stop thinking about Taehyung. All the fucking time. I’m so pathetic.”
Jori wraps both arms around Jeongguk.
“You’re not pathetic. You like him, and that’s okay. You’re gonna be okay,” Jori whispers alongside his nape as he squeezes him tighter.
“I don’t know if I will be.”
“You should talk to him,” Jori suggests.
“What? No, no I can’t. He doesn’t feel the same way. He’s out clubbing, and probably getting laid while I’m here, thousands of miles away, throwing up because I’m fucking jealous that I’m not the one he’s with and I—”
“Jeongguk.”
Instantly, he stops talking.
“You don’t know that. I know that it seems impossible but, everything you just told me sounds like a completely different Taehyung. What if he—”
“No. No, he doesn’t. He really doesn't, Jori. There’s no use in talking. I should get over it. I’m gonna get over it.”
Jeongguk says it confidently, as best as he can, but Jori sees right through him.
“You have a hard time believing it.”
Shit.
Jeongguk looks away, giving it away to Jori’s observation.
“I could!”
“Talk to him. Get it out of your system, and whatever happens, happens. I know rejection is scary, I’ve been there myself. But it’s better to get it out there than let it bottle up, and let it eat away at you from the inside. I mean it, Jeongoo, talk to him.”
Jeongguk shrugs. “Okay…Okay, maybe I will.”
“Okay, good.” Jori smiles. “Can’t believe you’re outliving one of Hector’s cliché rom-com movies. This is insane.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”
⚽️⚽️⚽️
“What’d you pack?”
Jeongguk looks up, hands in the middle of folding a pair of clothing.
“Uh…A t-shirt, pants, a pair of boxers…” He looks down. “And that’s it.”
Ryu grimaces. “Dude. We’re going camping . That’s not enough!”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “It’s for one night. I think I’ll be okay.”
His roommate doesn’t listen. Instead, Ryu walks over to his closet, and throws him two t-shirts and two pairs of underwear.
“Ryu—”
“Better safe than sorry.”
“I’m not gonna overpack for one night, that’s fucking ridiculous.”
Ryu squints his eyes while simultaneously crossing his arms. “So, let’s say hypothetically you spill something on your shirt, then what? Are you just gonna walk around with shit all over you?”
Jeongguk hates that he makes a good point, but remains stubborn.
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“You don’t know what can happen! Come on, just, pack extra just in case! You’ll thank me later, I’m serious.”
Jeongguk sighs. “Okay! Okay, fine. Now go be annoying somewhere else.”
Ryu grins. “Love you too, Jeonggukie.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Jeongguk waves him off, and grabs the clothes that Ryu had randomly grabbed, shoving them in the bag that’s already slightly puffy.
As the zipper squeaks when Jeongguk closes it, he takes a deep breath.
It’s barely been a day since he got back home from Florida, and it’s comical how Jeongguk had thought it’d get easier once home.
The thought of seeing Taehyung after weeks of being apart makes his chest hurt. There’s a pang, one that digs deeper when Jeongguk reminisces the slightest memory of them together, and everything that happened during the championship.
You should talk to him.
He should.
Jeongguk should but—Jori’s right. He’s scared, he’s fucking terrified of getting rejected, of laying himself bare in front of Taehyung who definitely doesn’t feel the same way.
Why would he?
That’s impossible.
It’s fucking Kim Taehyung.
God .
Jeongguk squeezes a hand over his chest, feeling the pain tighten around his heart in a knot. He rubs at it with his palm, hoping it’ll subside, but nothing changes the longer Jeongguk does it.
Fuck.
A subtle knock snaps him out of it, Jackson standing by the doorway, dressed to leave with a small bag in his left hand.
“Hey, you ready to go?”
Jeongguk scrambles around as he grabs his backpack. “Yeah, yeah I’m ready. Let’s go.”
They walk towards the entrance hallway, Hector in the middle of tying his shoes while Ryu is wearing an offended frown as he goes into a tangent.
“I don’t have a fucking foot fetish! I was just being dramatic, ever heard of that?”
Hector chuckles. “Right, but if someone you hooked up with was into it, you’d do it in a heartbeat. Don’t deny it!”
Ryu scoffs. “Fuck you! I don’t have a foot fetish!”
“You’re not even denying it!” Hector says while laughing, and Ryu pushes him lightly.
“I just said that I don’t have a foot fetish! What don’t you get, dude?!”
Hector gets up, brushing off both hands onto the material of his shorts. “Mhm, okay…” He looks away, and mumbles, “Mr. Foot Licker.”
“What’d you just call me?”
Jackson steps in, Jeongguk out of breath by how much he’s laughing.
“Hecky, Ryu, come on. Let’s just go. Who gives a shit about who licks feet?”
Ryu widens his eyes. “No one! No one is licking fucking feet!”
“Ryu,” Jackson calls out sharply. “Let’s go, come on, or else we’ll be late.”
“Fine! Fine, but seriously no one is licking, kissing, sucking any feet.”
They scramble out of the apartment one by one, and Jeongguk closes the door after him.
“Are Jimin and Taehyung joining us?” Jackson asks when they reach the stairs, steps echoing with every move.
“They’re driving with Yoongi and Namjoon,” Ryu confirms.
Jeongguk hates how that mere detail has relieved him.
Shit.
He’s not ready to see Taehyung again.
After getting inside the car, Jeongguk dozes off, the jet lag still present. The chatter of his roommates slowly fades in and out of his consciousness, along with the noise from the busy roads of Seoul.
His brain is just about to conjure images of Taehyung when he feels a warm hand wrapping around his nape. Jeongguk squints an eye open, and notices the car has stopped moving.
“We’re here,” Hector announces softly.
“Oka—” Jeongguk yawns. “Alright.”
After getting out of the car, Jeongguk is hit with the reality that he’s going to see Taehyung.
It’s overwhelming.
On one hand he’s excited for it, to see every part of him this close again, but then on the other he’s scared, and would rather avoid Taehyung as much as he can. At least until Jeongguk can confidently claim he’s over him.
Rocks crunch beneath his shoes as Jeongguk walks around the car, and grabs his backpack from the trunk. Hector stays by his side, guiding him to where they’ll sleep for one night.
Jeongguk tries to hold his breath but fails the moment he sees Taehyung, lounging on a small camping chair next to Yoongi.
He’s wearing all black, shorts riding up to expose a few tattoos, paired with the beautiful eyebrow slit that made him lose his fucking mind at the club, and Jeongguk’s breath disappears within the cool air of August.
Taehyung’s eyes find his own, widening for a split second until they harden, and land elsewhere.
“Jeonggukie, hey! Oh wow, you cut your hair! Looks great!” Hoseok says as he runs wildly over to Jeongguk to squeeze him into a firm hug.
“Hyung, hey! The Miami heat got to me. I couldn’t fucking bear it.”
Hoseok runs a hand over the front of Jeongguk’s haircut, the strands just long enough to tickle his eyelids.
“Yeah, I can imagine.”
His teammates greet him one by one, everyone except Taehyung that only sends him a sharp nod in his direction. No one comments on it, but Jeongguk catches Ryu’s eyes following what had just happened.
Shit.
Is it obvious? Is it obvious that something happened? That Jeongguk’s heart quickens whenever Taehyung’s eyes scan around him. That he’s affected by the sight of his tattoos despite most of them being hidden by the material of Taehyung’s black shorts. That he likes him?
He hopes it’s not visible. Jeongguk can’t face this right now, especially not now that they’re all together.
To push it down, he goes for it.
“Nice spot you guys found,” he comments, realizing how much space there is for each of them to sit beside each other around a hot grill, mostly used for barbecue. Behind them there’s a few tents scattered around, Jeongguk spotting the one he’ll be sharing with Ryu.
“One of the student's Jimin tutors showed it to him. Apparently she goes camping yearly with her boyfriend,” Yoongi explains while opening a six pack.
“It doesn’t even look like we’re in Seoul.”
“Right?!” Jimin butts in with agreement. “You can’t even hear the usual noise that there is in Seoul.”
“Yeah, yeah exactly.”
Jeongguk moves around to place his backpack in the tent, and when he comes back out he spots a free space next to Namjoon.
Seated, he tries not to let his eyes wander in the direction of Taehyung. It doesn’t exactly help that he’s sitting close by, just enough to reach Jeongguk if he stretched out his arm.
Even though there’s no direct contact between them, Jeongguk feels suffocated.
He tries to breathe in the fresh air around him but it barely reaches his lungs.
Chest tightened, Jeongguk turns to talk to Namjoon.
“How was Florida? Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, it was great seeing Jori again. He says hi by the way. He hopes everything’s going well.”
Namjoon’s gaze softens. “That’s sweet. I’m glad you had a good time there. I was in California a few years ago with my younger sister, and we had a blast. But it was hot as fuck, don’t really recommend going there if heat isn’t someone’s forte.”
Jeongguk snorts. “That was me in Miami. The heat was fucking killing me. I swear I would’ve gotten a heatstroke if there wasn’t any AC in stores, and Jori’s car when we drove around exploring the city.”
“Yeah, fuck, I can imagine.”
“You guys want something to drink?” Yoongi asks, ready to toss a can at them.
“Sure, yeah, that’d be great.”
Catching it, Jeongguk doesn’t waste time in opening the can of cider, the sound loud when the cap is popped open.
“Cheers!” Everyone shouts in unison, clinking their mixture of drinks together in the middle. Jeongguk tries to ignore the fact that his touches Taehyung’s beer.
As Seokjin gets the grill going and unpacks the raw meat they bought earlier, Taehyung grows unsteady in his seat.
“Fuck, why’s it so hot all of a sudden?” He whines, tugging a bit at his long sleeved hoodie.
“Must be the grill,” Hoseok says, wiping a hand across his forehead, feeling the same heat.
Taehyung gets up, the chair behind him rattling by the sudden movement. Jeongguk steals a glance sideways while leaning into his seat, careful in not being caught but he regrets it the moment he catches Taehyung’s hands tugging the collar of his hoodie.
Everything slows down.
The pull causes the t-shirt beneath it to ride up, showcasing his abs, and prominent V-line, decorated with a happy trail. His skin looks soft, a bit damp too with the current heat, and Jeongguk’s lips part.
Taehyung’s snapback falls off when the hoodie is completely pulled off, strands of hair fluffing around his forehead.
Jeongguk doesn’t realize that gravity changes around him until he’s falling backwards, palm saving him before his head could meet the sharp gravel beneath them.
Seokjin and Hoseok are the first to react, laughing loudly before asking multiple questions about his sudden fall.
“Wait—Jeongguk! You okay?”
End me now .
He just ate fucking shit in front of Kim Taehyung.
“Mhm, yup, I’m fine!” Jeongguk winces when he notices the slight cut on his palm, but doesn’t do anything about it.
Instead, he brushes the dirt out of the wound, wiping the small trickle of blood away and pressing a thumb over it. Jeongguk doesn’t ask for a bandaid, everyone too busy eating, and chatting with each other.
It’s fine.
It’ll pass.
Smiling through the sharp sting, Jeongguk joins in on the conversation until he feels something drop down onto his lap.
“Wh—”
It’s a package with bandaids inside.
Jeongguk looks up, and sees Taehyung frowning at him.
“Uh…Thank you.”
“S’fine,” Taehyung mumbles before walking away, and sitting back down in his seat.
Jeongguk covers the small area with a bandaid, pulse pounding loudly in his ears, it drowns out every other sound around him.
His body grows hot, and not because of the grill, but because Taehyung noticed—he noticed Jeongguk getting hurt.
Still in over his head about it, Seokjin snaps him out of it.
“Hey, can you watch the meat real quick? Gotta piss.”
“Sure, yeah, no worries.”
Jeongguk leans forward, hands on the service tong. He flips over the samgyeopsal a bit here and there, and while he usually is great at remaining focused on cooking, his gaze betrays him, landing back on Taehyung as he shows Yoongi something on his phone.
They’re laughing, and Taehyung’s wide smile punches Jeongguk directly in the gut.
Fuck.
Last time he’d seen him smile so brightly was when they’d won. Jeongguk had only caught a glimpse of it before wrapping both arms tightly around his neck, squeezing his form tightly as he inhaled his scent that was mixed with sweat and—
“Yah! Jeongguk, it’s burning!” Ryu shouts, catching Jeongguk with a panicked expression.
“S-Sorry!” Jeongguk lowers the heat, and cringes when he sees the prominent burn now on half of the meat laid out on the grill.
Ryu’s just about to say something else when Seokjin comes back, taking over, and raising an eyebrow in question over the current state of their food.
“Well, it could’ve been worse,” Seokjin mumbles while chewing on the samgyeopsal.
“Sorry, hyung…”
“Nah, it’s okay.”
They help each other out as they eat. Jeongguk hands over the plates with the salad leaves, and the side dishes to Yoongi and Taehyung when they notice there’s more meat available.
Music plays softly from the small speaker Jackson brought with him, and Namjoon keeps asking what’s the title of the song whenever a new one comes on.
Jeongguk washes down his food with the rest of his drink as the night continues to roll over them.
“Shit, we’re running out of beer. Can someone grab the cooler from the car?” Yoongi asks while lifting the empty cans scattered around the wooden table.
“I got you hyung,” Taehyung says, getting up from his chair, and brushing off his thighs.
Jeongguk’s eyes wander on their own accord, following Taehyung’s every step until he reaches the car, and opens the trunk.
Chatter continues to fill the space, but no words reach him, too busy noticing every minor detail of Taehyung as he leans forward and grabs it. His shirt has ridden up, just enough to show the patch of skin by his waist, and Jeongguk’s throat goes dry at the view.
Jeongguk’s too busy gawking to notice the struggle Taehyung seems to face, and it isn’t until he feels a hand on his shoulder, that he’s notified of it.
“Yo Jeongguk, could you go help him?” Hoseok asks, seeming slightly offended as if he’d been trying to gain Jeongguk’s attention for a while now.
“S-sure, yeah, uh…” Jeongguk gets up, and walks over to him.
Taehyung’s groaning as his back muscles tense under the white material of his shirt and the bulging of his biceps is more visible with the way he’s rolled up his sleeves. Jeongguk tries not to let himself stare too much but it’s like he can’t stop.
“Oh—” Taehyung looks behind him.
“Do you need help with that?” Jeongguk asks, surprised by how he said it without stuttering once.
“Uh, yeah.” Taehyung steps aside, hand still firm around the handle.
Jeongguk gets closer, reaching out for the cooler that’s—of course—buried furthest inside the trunk.
Taehyung’s ragged breath brushes against his nape for a split second, and Jeongguk tries to remain composed.
After grabbing onto the handle, they both start to pull.
“Mm— fuck ,” Taehyung curses under his breath, Jeongguk’s brain spiraling at how he sounds exactly like he did that night in Tokyo, completely out of it as he fucked him—
It isn’t until the third pull that the cooler is finally tugged loose from the corner of the trunk, Jeongguk out of breath and Taehyung not any better.
As they drag it towards them, Jeongguk makes the mistake of turning his head to look beside him, realizing just how close his face is to Taehyung’s.
His breath is almost tickling his lips, uneven and shortened with heavy pants.
Taehyung’s eyes widen, and then his eyebrow shoots up just the slightest, but enough for Jeongguk to catch it.
He should look away.
Being this close to Taehyung isn’t any good for him.
But somehow, he can’t move.
The erratic pounding of his heart returns, so wild that Jeongguk’s terrified he might pass out.
Taehyung gulps, Adam’s apple prominent when it bobs, and Jeongguk’s eyes drag down to his neck.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, a bit out of breath, and only loud enough for him to hear.
Rather than moving away, Jeongguk remains put, gaze scanning between Taehyung’s eyes, and his slightly parted lips.
“Yeah?”
It’s said just as low, only for Taehyung to receive.
“You can let go of the handle now. I’ve got it.”
Immediately, Jeongguk snaps himself out of it, chuckling awkwardly as he lets go of the cooler. “Yeah, yeah uh—” He points to the others, and before Taehyung can say anything else, Jeongguk walks back, cursing under his breath continuously until he’s sat back down on the small camping chair.
Whatever had seemed to be there, was all in Jeongguk’s head.
After pushing his hair back, he looks up and is met with Ryu’s narrowed eyes, and arms crossed.
While there aren’t any direct words thrown from his roommate, Jeongguk’s gut tells him exactly what he feared.
He saw it all .
When Taehyung comes back with the cooler, Yoongi slaps his knee in excitement as he digs for a beer. Hoseok joins him, taking another, and hissing in delight after the first sip.
As more empty cans fill the table, they grow looser, Hoseok beet red in the face due to the alcohol.
It isn’t really a surprise that Hoseok turns bold, mentioning a detail that instantly throws Jeongguk off.
“Okay, I’m finally drunk enough to say it but—if Hector and Namjoon weren’t the ones having loud ass sex during the cabin trip then it had to be you !” He points at Yoongi and Seokjin, curled up against each other with a blanket thrown over their legs.
“Guilty,” Yoongi says, and takes another sip while Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“We weren’t loud. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hobi.”
“Yes you were! Cut the shit!”
Jimin bursts out into laughter so loud that everyone’s heads immediately snap in his direction.
“What’s so funny?” Yoongi asks with a frown.
“S’just—Funny how you think it was y—”
Taehyung clasps a hand over his mouth, and in an instant it clicks for Jeongguk.
Jimin knows.
Blinking repeatedly as it sinks in, Taehyung’s eyes meet his, almost as if he’s apologizing, and Jeongguk remains glued to his seat—frozen from head to toe.
Questions swirl around his brain.
When did Taehyung tell him? Why did he tell him? How long has he known? How’d it even come up? Why why why?
“Minnie’s saying absolute nonsense right now. I’m taking him to bed, also it’s getting late,” Taehyung excuses while Jimin speaks under his hand, words completely muffled.
“Yeah, we should head to bed as well.”
One by one, everyone gets up except for Jeongguk who’s still glued to his seat.
“You coming?” Jackson asks while folding up a blanket.
“Uh, I’ll clean up so we don’t have to do it tomorrow. Go on without me,” Jeongguk excuses, needing a moment to properly breathe.
“I’ll help you out,” Ryu says, grabbing the roll of trash bags, and pulling one out to fill it with the empty cans.
“Okay…”
Jeongguk doesn’t have a good feeling about this.
After half of the trash is gone from the table, Jeongguk looks around to collect whatever’s managed to drop down onto the ground. As he does, he notices Taehyung’s hoodie lounging on the chair he occupied earlier, and his gaze remains set on it.
But not for long.
“Okay, cut the shit, what's going on?”
Jeongguk turns around, faced by Ryu with a perplexed expression.
“What…What do you mean?”
“I already had my doubts when Jackson hyung told me Taehyung came to our place looking for you right after you had left for Florida—”
Jeongguk’s heart stops beating.
Taehyung did what?
“And now you haven’t stopped staring at him since we came here, and the last time you did that to someone was when you had the fattest crush on Sira and—” Ryu pauses, and his eyes widen.
Jeongguk immediately knows he’s fucked.
“Ryu—”
“You—”
Fuck it.
Jeongguk sighs, and nods.
“You like him?! You like Kim Taehyung?!”
“I—”
Jeongguk gets cut off by the sudden noise of rocks crunching behind him. He cranes his neck with pure instinct, and regrets it when he’s faced directly with Taehyung, staring at him with a slackened jaw.
Fuck.
He heard it.
It’s out there.
“Shit—I’m gonna…” Ryu almost trips on his own two feet when he picks up the trash bags, and leaves Jeongguk alone with Taehyung.
Jeongguk tries to breathe but he can’t. It’s stuck in his throat, and nerves are buzzing in the tip of his fingers.
The longer he stares at Taehyung, the more he’s aware of the fact that this is real. That Taehyung knows .
With the way he’s looking at him, Jeongguk decides to shut it down.
“Whatever you heard just now, please forget about it. It’s fucking stupid, and I’m sorry you had to find out this way but—it’s okay! I’ll—we’re cool, it’s good, it’s fine. It’s not gonna be weird, I promise so just—please just ignore it, forget it, just—”
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” Taehyung breathes out.
Jeongguk halts in his words, throat clogging up uncomfortably by holding it all in. “Wh—”
Taehyung doesn’t allow him to gather a proper reaction because he’s moving, walking rapidly. Jeongguk’s heart squeezes in his chest when Taehyung grabs him by the nape, and kisses him on the lips.
This can’t be real.
It can’t be.
Jeongguk stands frozen, eyes wide due to the shock, and it isn’t until he feels Taehyung’s tongue tickle his bottom lip with a wet slide, that Jeongguk sinks into it.
Shit.
This is real.
He doesn’t hold back, pushing into Taehyung, hands sliding down the upper part of his back, and fingers gripping onto the material of his t-shirt.
Just as Jeongguk tries to lean forward for a proper taste, Taehyung pulls away.
“I like you too,” Taehyung confesses breathlessly against his lips.
Jeongguk’s grip around him tightens, having to hold onto Taehyung properly to realize that this is real.
“You—”
“I like you, Jeongguk. I’ve liked you for months,” Taehyung continues, his voice a bit shaky.
Jeongguk’s too overwhelmed, and words have never been his forte when it comes to it, so instead he kisses Taehyung again, firmly and properly this time.
He parts his lips, hoping it’ll transcribe what he feels.
It turns a bit uncoordinated when it dawns upon Jeongguk that he’s kissing Taehyung, lips naturally folding up into a smile.
Taehyung notices, his own teeth showing before they move their lips again.
Jeongguk never imagined their camping trip ending like this. With him in Taehyung’s arms, tasting his lips, hearing he likes him.
Fuck.
Taehyung likes him.
Jeongguk pulls away, Taehyung’s eyes opening in an instant.
“You like me,” Jeongguk repeats. “You like—you like me . You—”
Taehyung nods dumbly with a small smile, and Jeongguk shakes his head.
“I can’t believe this…”
Taehyung pulls him by the nape again, breath hot against his lips. “Believe it.”
He kisses him again, just a small soft press to the lips to remind him that this is actually happening. Jeongguk’s mind is still dizzy by the thought, and his heart hasn’t stopped pounding loudly.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls out, chuckling when Taehyung hums a noise to show he’s listening.
“When? How? Why?”
Taehyung takes hold of Jeongguk’s hand, threading their fingers together before responding. “Busan. It just happened.”
“Busan? Is that why you were avoiding me like the plague?” Jeongguk asks lightly, and Taehyung pinches the skin on his hand.
“Fuck off, I’ve never liked anyone!”
They laugh in unison, and Jeongguk looks down at their intertwined hands.
“Is that why Jimin knows?”
Taehyung’s expression falters. “I—I didn’t want to tell him but—fuck…”
“What?”
“Don’t laugh,” Taehyung warns, and Jeongguk nods as a promise.
“Remember when Jimin mentioned us going out when we were in the car with you, and Ryu?”
“Yeah?”
“I—I got really drunk, and I did something embarrassing that gave it away, and he made me tell him everything the day after. It was a mess.”
Jeongguk squints his eyes. “What’d you do?”
“No, I’m taking that to my grave,” Taehyung says, and clicks his tongue. “You’re never getting this out of me.”
“Oh c’mon, it can’t be worse than me falling off my fucking chair earlier because I was too busy sta—”
Taehyung’s eyebrow raises. “What?”
“Nothing…” Jeongguk looks away, embarrassed by it.
“You were looking at me?” Taehyung asks softly, a hand finding its way to Jeongguk’s nape again, thumb tracing on his jawline.
Jeongguk slaps his shoulder lightly, making them part from one another. “Shut up.”
Taehyung laughs, smiling widely, and Jeongguk reciprocates.
“Hey, Jeongguk?”
“Hm?”
Taehyung grabs his hand with the bandaid on it. “How’s your hand?”
“It’s good, doesn’t hurt.”
Jeongguk’s expression softens when Taehyung drags the pad of his finger carefully over the bandaid.
“Good, that’s good.”
“Yeah.”
“How was Florida?” Taehyung asks, diverting their conservation elsewhere.
“It was good. Had a lot of fun.”
“How’s Jori?”
Jeongguk smiles. “He’s doing great, yeah.”
“That’s good,” Taehyung says, moving his hand back to Jeongguk’s face, eyes scanning over him. “I like your new haircut. Suits you.”
“Really? I feel like the length is kinda awkward.”
Taehyung shakes his head. “It looks good on you, seriously.”
Jeongguk leans forward, courage seeping through his system, and then he kisses Taehyung gently.
“Thank you.”
“Mhm…” Taehyung’s face grows hot, and Jeongguk tries to tame his smile, the sight overwhelming for his feelings.
Jeongguk kisses him again, this time with more fervor, and a lot more pressure in his lips. Taehyung falls into it, hands sinking into his skin, gripping him tight like he’s scared he’ll walk away again.
But he won’t.
He’ll stay here.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whispers. “Why’d you leave? That night?”
Jeongguk drops his hold around Taehyung, needing to focus to explain properly what had happened in Tokyo.
“I thought it’s what you wanted…” Jeongguk sighs. “And now that I realize it wasn’t, I feel like a fucking idiot.”
“You’re not, hey. Stop, you’re not,” Taehyung consoles, grabbing onto Jeongguk’s forearm gently. “I get—I get why you would. I would too if I were you, and I hate that I didn’t put myself in your situation, and instead just didn’t say anything. I should’ve. I tried, actually, right when you left for Florida.”
“That’s why you went?”
Taehyung blinks. “You know?”
“Yeah, Ryu told me seconds before you came out here—wait, why’d you even come out here?”
Taehyung chuckles, rubbing at the skin near his nape. “Forgot my hoodie.”
Of course.
Jeongguk glares at it, snorting when he realizes that a fucking hoodie, and Ryu’s big mouth got Taehyung and him where they are now.
He can’t help but laugh, and Taehyung joins him, as if it hit him as much just now.
Feeling lighter in his feet, Jeongguk leans closer again, nose rubbing gently over Taehyung’s before he presses his lips again.
Taehyung tastes of beer, but Jeongguk doesn’t care.
He doesn’t care because it’s Taehyung, and that’s all that matters.
What was meant to be a sweet kiss to savor this moment, turns into more. It’s a blur on who turns it around, but all Jeongguk knows is that he doesn’t want this to stop. Taehyung’s hands are moving, in his hair, on his bare skin—his ass. Everywhere.
Jeongguk’s not any better.
His tongue is marking territory in Taehyung’s mouth, while his hands tighten around his waist, pulling them flushed against each other—enough to feel everything.
Jeongguk moans when he feels Taehyung’s fingers digging into his lower back, and just as he’s about to indulge further, Taehyung pulls away.
“Jeongguk, fuck …” Taehyung licks his lips. “We should stop.”
“Mhm…we should,” Jeongguk says before kissing him again, too immersed in this moment to care about the setting.
Taehyung isn’t any better, sinking right into it by shamelessly squeezing Jeongguk’s ass.
“Fuck—feels good,” Jeongguk whispers.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whines. “You’re killing me.”
He grins, a smirk pulled on his lips. “Am I?”
“ Jeongguk .”
Surprised by the stern tone, Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise in sync.
“I’m on the verge of not caring that we’re on a camping site if we don’t stop,” Taehyung explains.
Jeongguk laughs. “Okay, well. Goodnight, Kim .”
Taehyung scoffs with a smile, and pulls Jeongguk flushed against him. “Goodnight, Jeon .”
The zipper buzzes loudly as Jeongguk opens the tent, not expecting to see Ryu stare at him with a guilt ridden expression.
“Fuck, you scared me,” Jeongguk pants out, heartbeat erratic in his chest over the sudden scare from his roommate.
“Did I fuck up?”
Jeongguk chuckles, rolling his eyes. “Go to bed.”
Ryu stays put, observing Jeongguk opening his sleeping bag and getting comfortable.
“Wait—if I didn’t fuck it up then does that mean he…”
Jeongguk tries not to smile, rolling over to hide his ears so that his roommate doesn’t see that they’re turning a shade of pink at the tips. “Go to sleep.”
“You can’t just say that when—oh God, I think I’m gonna pass out.”
“Ryu,” Jeongguk warns. “Sleep.”
“Okay…okay but are you guys like…together now?”
“Ryu.”
“You owe me answers tomorrow.”
Jeongguk sighs. “If you shut up and go to sleep, fine .”
“Great! Goodnight my little Jeonggukie,” Ryu says, throwing a leg over Jeongguk’s folded ones, and snuggles closer.
⚽️⚽️⚽️
The morning is quiet.
Everyone takes care of the last bits of trash, and makes sure that the spot is clean before leaving.
Jeongguk steals a glance once or twice towards Taehyung, smiling widely when their eyes meet.
He still can’t wrap his head around what happened last night, but seeing it echo in the morning, Jeongguk’s not far from believing it.
“Hey,” Taehyung greets, hand occupied by an empty can.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” Taehyung says again, grinning from ear to ear while Jeongguk’s not any better, biting down his lips to prevent it from spreading.
“Hi.”
“H—”
“Yo, you guys done? We’re about to leave.” Yoongi calls from afar, shoving the cooler back inside the trunk of Seokjin’s car.
“Yeah, yeah coming!” Taehyung turns back to Jeongguk. “I’ll see you?”
“Yeah.”
After collecting the last few things, Jeongguk joins his roommates in Ryu’s car, taking the spot in the front next to Jackson who’s behind the wheel.
“Why aren’t you driving?” Jeongguk asks Ryu, turning to look at him in the back.
“You know why,” Ryu reasons in a harsh whisper, not needing to go into details for Jeongguk to catch on.
“What’s going on with you two?” Hector asks after sliding into his seat, and putting on his seatbelt.
“Ryu’s just being fucking dramatic,” Jeongguk answers, and his roommate leans forward, flicking his forehead.
“Ow! What the fuck—”
“I have every right! Even though I saw it coming, I have every right!”
“You—”
Hector places a hand on each of their shoulders. “Guys, seriously, what the fuck is up?”
Fuck it.
Jeongguk’s already ripped the bandaid off once.
“Taehyung and I are—we’re…?” Jeongguk pauses to think, and realizes they haven’t really labeled what this is. Even though the endless kisses, and soft touches indicate exactly what this is, Jeongguk’s afraid of expressing something that hasn’t been said out loud.
“Together?!” Hector screams, mouth slack in shock. “You’re—you’re together?! Oh my God?!”
Jeongguk’s expression drops. “I—”
“Fucking finally ,” Jackson mutters under his breath, and Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises in surprise.
“Uh…”
Ryu fans a hand over his face, tugging the crewneck. “I feel like I’m gonna fucking faint.”
Hector pushes Ryu’s head lightly, and sends a look towards Jeongguk. “Ignore his dramatic ass.”
They laugh in unison except for Ryu who’s too busy cracking a window open to gain some fresh air.
“So, when’d you know that you like him? Is that okay to ask?”
Jeongguk nods, leaning onto the headrest. “Yeah, I—after Taehyung won for us at the championship, and showed how much he wanted us to do well, I knew.”
Hector coos. “That’s so fucking cute!”
Ryu groans. “You’re asking all the wrong questions, Hector. Jeongguk, have you guys fucked?”
Jeongguk splutters. “Ryu, what the fuck?”
“Oh my God, you have! When—was it good? Is Taehyung really hung or is that just some cliché rumor—”
Hector slaps the back of Ryu’s head.
“Ow!”
“Shut up, you horndog.”
Jeongguk chuckles, and Ryu squints his eyes in suspicion.
“He owes me for last night when he didn’t answer shit.”
“You already knew?!”
Ryu sighs. “I realized last night that Jeongguk liked Taehyung, and I shouted it like a madman because I was in shock—rightfully so, I mean this is Jeongguk and Taehyung we’re talking about. They used to hate each other to the point I was sure one of them would end up in a hospital. But well, Taehyung heard it…”
“You have got to learn how to control that mouth of yours. Stuff it full of feet, why don’t you?”
Ryu tackles Hector in the backseat, and Jeongguk laughs loudly while his roommates bicker back and forth.
“Well, for once your big mouth did something good. But please, shut up for the rest of your life. Please.”
Ryu mocks him. “Yeah, yeah shut up. You love me.”
Jeongguk snickers.
Surprisingly, this went better than expected.
The day passes like a blur, and it isn’t until evening that Jeongguk hears his roommates moving around the apartment.
Curious, he steps out of his bedroom, catching them pre-gaming on the kitchen island.
“Jeonggukie, why aren’t you dressed?” Ryu asks, after sipping on a glass of wine.
“Uh—”
“I have that event tonight. But it’s okay if you don’t wanna go, I know you’re still jet lagged,” Jackson reassures, catching the guilt seeping through Jeongguk at forgetting such an important detail.
“I’m sorry I forgot.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s not that important, it’s just for us to let loose a little before the new semester starts for you guys. Seriously, you’re good.”
“Okay, okay then I’m gonna pass. I slept like shit because Ryu took up all the space last night.”
“Fuck you, that’s called cuddling.”
“No, that’s not what that was.” Jeongguk cranes his neck. “Fuck my neck’s killing me.”
“Boo, you’re boring. Fine, we’ll go on without you so you can get laid.”
Jeongguk freezes. “Wh—”
“Come on, that’s obviously why you’re not going. And it’s fine! I’m glad you’re getting some dick. It’s good for you, Jeongguk!”
“I’m not gonna—”
“We’ll get out of here, come on guys let’s go.”
Hector rolls his eyes, and mouths. “Ignore him.”
Jackson gives a comforting squeeze to Jeongguk’s shoulder, and then they slowly leave one by one.
While Jeongguk should definitely ignore what Ryu had just said, he can’t help but think about it.
Memories from last night cloud his brain. How he and Taehyung had kissed with intensity, hands everywhere, touching and feeling every inch and fuck—
Jeongguk considers it for a second, and when he’s in no doubt he wants Taehyung again, alone, like this, and especially now that there’s something , his fingers move on their own accord.
to:
taehyung:)
hey
The response is almost immediate, as if Taehyung had been waiting to hear from him. Jeongguk’s pulse picks up when he catches the grey bubbles in the bottom of his screen.
from:
taehyung:)
heyyyyyyyyy
Jeongguk chuckles, biting his bottom lip as he tries to find his words.
to:
taehyung:)
what are you up to?
from:
taehyung:)
jimin is about to head out to jackson’s event but i slept like shit last night so i’m staying home
what’s up?
to:
taehyung:)
wanna com
Jeongguk doesn’t get to send the full text, already pressing send, and when he realizes, he starts spiraling.
Shit.
Before he even gets to save himself from pure embarrassment, Taehyung answers immediately.
from:
taehyung:)
YEAH
i mean
yeah i’ll com :D
When the fact that Taehyung is coming over sinks in, Jeongguk starts freaking out. He runs over to the bathroom, double checking that he looks decent, shaking his hair with a few fingers once or twice until it looks presentable.
Jeongguk barely has time to straighten his wrinkled t-shirt when the doorbell rings.
Fuck.
“Okay, you got this, Jeongguk. It’s just Taehyung. It’s fine,” he mumbles to himself in the mirror, trying to soothe the erratic buzzing in his system over seeing Taehyung again when they’d seen each other earlier that morning.
Jeongguk sucks in a breath before opening the door, a smile growing on his lips when he catches sight of Taehyung.
He’s wearing a tight grey t-shirt, showcasing his biceps and some baggy sweatpants, no snapback in sight.
“Hi.”
“Hey—uh, come on in!” Jeongguk steps aside, and Taehyung thanks him as he walks past.
Jeongguk doesn’t know how to do this. He’s never been with anyone. Sure, he’s had intense crushes here and there, but nothing like this.
Nothing like Taehyung.
The thought makes him grow dizzy.
“Did the others leave already?”
“Yeah, they left not long ago.”
“Ah.” Taehyung tongues his cheek. “Feels weird without them around. For a second I pictured Ryu running out of his room.”
Jeongguk laughs. “He probably would’ve if he was here.”
“Yeah, seems like a very Ryu thing to do.”
“Mhm.”
They stare at each other, smiles plastered on their faces, and Jeongguk tries to build courage in asking Taehyung to come to his room, but the nerves push them back down.
“Am I finally gonna have the honors of seeing the Jeon Jeongguk’s room or…?”
Instantly, Jeongguk feels relieved with how much Taehyung’s leading them.
“Shut up, it’s just a room.”
Taehyung grins. “I bet it’s exactly how I pictured it.”
The memory of Taehyung’s overly dramatic expectations drop into the pit of Jeongguk’s brain.
“It’s not filled with expired condoms, and fifty soccer balls. Sorry to disappoint,” Jeongguk jokes as he opens the door, and Taehyung curses lightly behind him.
“Worth a shot. Wow, this is nice. Is that Son?”
Jeongguk follows Taehyung’s gaze that’s set on the big poster of Son right above his bed.
“Yeah, loved him since I was in high school.”
Taehyung’s gaze softens. “Wow, you have a shit ton of medals!”
“Won them all in high school. That one was for our last game before we graduated. The goalkeeper threatened to have me kicked out of the match because he kept missing my shots.”
Taehyung laughs, shaking his head while his fingers thread through them, the metal and gold clinking loudly. “I’m not an ounce surprised. You’re Ace for a reason.”
“You still haven’t let go of that nickname?!”
It’s been months since he’s heard it, and while it’s said softly, Jeongguk can’t help but think how it was all different back then between them during that time.
“Never.”
“You’re so fucking annoying,” Jeongguk says, and Taehyung clicks his tongue.
“It’s so weird hearing you say that now that I know you like me. I would’ve freaked out in the past if you said that.”
“Really?”
Taehyung steps closer, fingers reaching for Jeongguk’s own. “Yeah, I like you like fucking crazy, Jeongguk. I’ve never liked anyone before, give me a break.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Why’s that so—”
“What?”
“Cute. It’s cute.”
Taehyung pushes him lightly, rolling his eyes. “Shut up. At least I don’t have dark grey, boring bedsheets.”
Jeongguk scoffs in offense. “They were the only clean ones I had! What the fuck—”
Taehyung kisses him, and instantly Jeongguk melts into it.
“Just teasing you,” Taehyung whispers against his lips before pressing them back down.
Jeongguk takes it, not holding back now that they’re somewhere more fit if things do escalate. Jeongguk hates how much the thought of it doing that excites him.
“Jeongguk?” Taehyung asks, scanning his face while maintaining both hands firm on his lower back.
“Yeah?”
“Do you wanna be with me?”
“Are you asking me to be your—”
Taehyung nods. “Y-Yeah, I don’t know how else to do it I—”
Jeongguk kisses him, lips curling into a smile. “Yeah. Yes, I wanna be with you.”
Taehyung giggles, and doesn’t stop to say anything else.
The kisses grow longer, stronger, more open. Jeongguk drowns in the taste of him on the tip of his tongue, and can’t help but moan when Taehyung carefully runs his hands underneath his shirt, feeling his bare skin.
It’s barely anything, but that’s when it hits Jeongguk fully.
This is real.
This is not another dream, no.
This is real, and Taehyung likes him.
Shit .
As it finally sinks into Jeongguk, he gains a surge of confidence, the feeling prickling in the palm of his hands as they push Taehyung to sit on the edge of his bed.
“Shit—” Taehyung curses with a smile when he looks up at him, pupils dilating when Jeongguk sinks down onto his lap, straddling him.
Taehyung’s lips part, already seeming out of it by just having Jeongguk like this, on top of him, thighs firm against each leg.
Jeongguk’s not any better, hands wandering everywhere. The fabric of Taehyung’s t-shirt soft under his palms, and his arms feel warm.
As Jeongguk cradles his face, he can feel the slight stubble growing by Taehyung’s jaw on the edges of his fingers. It prickles, and Jeongguk loves it.
Taehyung stares at him with fondness and admiration in his eyes, and Jeongguk shyly rids himself of it by kissing him.
Fingers find their way towards Taehyung’s dark locks, the undercut no longer present, showcasing signs of how much time has passed.
Taehyung’s hands find solace under Jeongguk’s shirt again, this time running upwards to his shoulders.
Jeongguk’s just about to tilt his head to deepen the kiss when Taehyung’s fingernails dig into his skin, the sensation sending a thrill down his spine, along with an uneven buck of his hips.
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk breathes out, eyes squeezed shut by how good it feels.
“Off—take it off,” Taehyung rushes to say, breath staggered. Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate, grabbing the t-shirt by the neckline and tugging it upwards.
Taehyung’s eyes scan everywhere, stopping for a bit longer on the pierced nipple and the chest tattoo. Jeongguk takes a deep breath, hands finding their way back into Taehyung’s hair.
“You’re unreal,” Taehyung whispers before placing his warm mouth onto his chest, wet tongue poking out to trace the patterns of the ink.
It tickles a bit, Jeongguk chuckling, until Taehyung’s mouth reaches the pierced nipple, sending a direct pang of pleasure into the lower part of his gut.
“Ah fuck—” Jeongguk moans as he throws his head back to give Taehyung better access. “Want yours off too—”
“Yeah, yeah hold on.” Taehyung pulls his shirt off, sending it flying to the floor, and Jeongguk’s mouth waters at the view.
There are moles on his stomach, near his chest, and places Jeongguk didn’t catch any of the times he slept with Taehyung before.
He wants to make up for it.
He leans forward, a tilt to his chin due to the slight hesitance, and Jeongguk catches the surprised eyebrow raise from Taehyung right as he plants his lips on the side of Taehyung’s ribs.
A soft sigh is heard from above him, and Jeongguk feels Taehyung’s stomach draw in while he moves around, kissing the moles he can spot.
It isn’t until he adds his tongue to the mix that Jeongguk’s able to taste the sweet scented soap off of Taehyung’s body.
The more Jeongguk moves further down, the more he presses Taehyung to lie back. His palm remains flat right above his chest, and Jeongguk licks his lips when he’s faced with Taehyung’s happy trail.
Reminders of the night at Jimin, and Taehyung’s apartment resurface. How he and Taehyung hadn’t been on speaking terms, but there was still the ongoing game, only done in silence that time. Neither of them wanted to cave, turning it into a full blown show without their friends aware of the situation.
It was the first time no words had such an effect on Jeongguk, and it terrified the fuck out of him.
Jeongguk still vividly remembers how urges grew beneath his skin at the view of Taehyung’s happy trail, how he had wanted to have his tongue on it.
With parted lips, Jeongguk leans forward, licking the small yet visible hairs beneath Taehyung’s belly button without any shame. It feels funny, a bit of a tickling sensation beneath his tongue as he had imagined.
“F-Fuck,” Taehyung curses, fingers now gripping tightly on Jeongguk’s strands.
Jeongguk finds his way back up, a trail of saliva left on Taehyung’s stomach, and the middle part of his chest.
He’s just about to kiss Taehyung again when his weight feels light for a second, and suddenly he’s flipped down to the mattress, the softness hugging his naked back.
“Taehyung—”
Jeongguk’s cut off with a kiss, one that easily turns into more, the taste of Taehyung permanently marked inside his mouth.
Taehyung drops a bit of his weight down onto Jeongguk when he angles his head, and it instantly knocks out a moan from Jeongguk.
He can feel more of him now. How he’s hard under the soft material of his sweatpants, the bulge rubbing fervently against Jeongguk’s own. Jeongguk breaks off the kiss to run his mouth down Taehyung’s neck while their hips continue to roll into each other.
It’s frantic, it’s messy, and a bit uncoordinated.
Neither pay mind to it, the pleasure building within them overtaking it completely.
Jeongguk’s breathing turns more and more uneven, and his cock is hard to the point that feeling Taehyung this way isn’t enough.
“More—fuck, need more. Please, Taehyung,” Jeongguk says, half of the words slurred due to his current state while hands needily reach for the waistband of his sweatpants.
“Uh huh, fuck—where do you have…?”
“First drawer.”
Taehyung nips at Jeongguk’s bottom lip, kissing it before moving over to fetch a condom and lube. Jeongguk’s hands trail further down, an inch from taking Taehyung’s cock into his hand—
“I knew it!”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows scrunch into a frown. “What? What’s going on?”
Taehyung’s wearing a huge grin, and Jeongguk tries to figure out what’s got him all cheery until he spots the condom he grabbed.
Fuck.
“Knew I was right about something, Ace.” Taehyung continues. “Expiration date, the 11th of May 2024.”
Jeongguk slaps him lightly over the shoulder. “Funny.”
Taehyung throws it in the bin beside Jeongguk’s closet, and chuckles. “I’m guessing you want me to go run down to grab some?”
Jeongguk’s hand trails upwards, fitting itself around Taehyung’s waist. “Wait. Have you been with someone since…”
While it’s not said out loud, it instantly clicks for Taehyung. Jeongguk can see it in the way a muscle tightens near his jaw.
“No. Of course not.”
“Really?”
Taehyung frowns. “You sound surprised.”
A part of Jeongguk doesn’t want to express why he’s doubtful due to the bigger part of him not even caring because he’s with Taehyung now . And that’s what matters.
“Just…”
Taehyung’s tone softens. “Tell me.”
“I saw that pic Mingyu posted, the one where you’re at the club and—”
“Nothing happened. The reason I even went is because Minho was heartbroken over an exchange student that he caught feelings for, and Mingyu thought it was a good idea to go out and let loose. Also partly because he wanted to get laid, y’know how he is.” Taehyung laughs lightly. “But, I rejected everyone who came my way, Jeongguk. I mean it.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh .”
It isn’t even within the fact that Taehyung hasn’t gotten with anyone since then that gets to Jeongguk, it’s the fact it confirms just how much Taehyung likes him.
Fuck.
Jeongguk breaks eye contact, feeling himself grow hot everywhere. “Okay well…Do you want to do it without a—”
“Yes. I-I mean, yeah I want to. Only if you want, but yeah I want—”
Jeongguk shuts him up with a kiss. “Shut up, and just fuck me already.”
While Taehyung opens the bottle of lube, Jeongguk lifts his hips to take off his shorts, and underwear, the constriction too much to bear.
Taehyung steals a glance as he’s about to pour the lube over his fingers, and the bottle falls from his grip.
“You look fucking unreal, fuck—” Taehyung leans forward, kissing Jeongguk everywhere which only makes the need to feel every inch of Taehyung grow further.
“T-Taehyung, I need you.”
Forehead pressed down onto Jeongguk’s abdomen, Taehyung curses under his breath as his hand tries to locate the bottle, the rustling of the duvet and sheets loud in their ears.
Jeongguk can barely look at him, trying to calm himself down, chest erratically heaving.
Questions about what’s taking such a long time lap around Jeongguk’s tongue, but he never gets to ask them because then he feels it. A gentle press to his hole.
“Mm—don’t hold back,” Jeongguk says urgently, feeling Taehyung’s carefulness around the sensitive area.
He waits for it, waits for Taehyung’s fingers to fill him up but Taehyung seems adamant on keeping it slow, thumb rubbing in circles over Jeongguk’s rim.
Fuck it.
Jeongguk grabs hold of Taehyung’s wrist, guiding a finger inside of him without a second’s hesitation. The gesture has Taehyung gasping under his breath.
“Jeongguk—”
“Yeah, just like that,” Jeongguk says, breathless and focused on the intense pleasure. Taehyung’s finger naturally starts rubbing over the prostate that begins to harden, gaze set on watching Jeongguk take it.
Jeongguk’s grip never leaves Taehyung’s wrist, and it tightens when another finger is added. He rolls his hips down on them, the sheets rustling beneath him the more he does.
The lube squelches loudly, and Jeongguk’s moans are clogged in his throat. Taehyung’s fingers are thick and long enough to make Jeongguk lose his mind, already feeling completely fucked out of it. As Jeongguk grows more and more needy, Taehyung watches him with widened eyes, and a slacked mouth.
“Fuck, Jeongguk.”
With his free hand, Jeongguk tugs the sweatpants and underwear off of Taehyung, enough to free his cock.
“Come here.”
Jeongguk needs Taehyung closer, enough to feel his skin growing hot against his.
After doing so, Taehyung’s lips catch against Jeongguk’s slackened mouth, kissing the groans and moans slipping from his throat.
Jeongguk’s hand starts to stroke Taehyung’s cock, feeling the wetness from the pre-cum against the edges of his fingers.
“Oh fuck—feels good.”
A grin grows on Jeongguk’s lips but it soon falls apart when Taehyung’s fingers shift inside of him.
“Want—want it,” Jeongguk breathes out.
Taehyung doesn’t waste another second, pulling out his fingers and grabbing ahold of his cock, the tip gliding back and forth over his wet hole.
“Come on—”
“Y-Yeah, s’just, need a second,” Taehyung says with a chuckle. He sucks in a breath, and finally thrusts shallowly inside of Jeongguk.
The stretch feels so good, Jeongguk can’t even put words to it, air knocked out of him. His fingers tighten in Taehyung’s hair, both of them moaning in unison when his cock is completely buried inside.
Sweat begins to accumulate between their bodies, Jeongguk taking a deep breath to accommodate the size, and the feeling of Taehyung’s bare cock.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah you can move.” Jeongguk kisses Taehyung on the side of his temple. “I’m okay.”
Taehyung starts to move, and it’s different than in Tokyo. This time, Taehyung doesn’t hold back, grip tight around Jeongguk while his hips continuously slam against him, the slapping noise erupting in the bedroom.
And the same counts for Jeongguk. He doesn’t hide how much he loves it, completely relaxed beneath Taehyung, as he allows himself to freely feel the warmth, and fullness.
Jeongguk’s never had sex like this. Never with feelings, never where every touch is linked to something deeper, where it’s all the more intense.
Taehyung nips at Jeongguk’s jaw, palms holding tight onto his pillowcase beside him, moans muffled in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, words of praise half slurred.
Jeongguk’s too out of it for them to reach him, hands moving up towards Taehyung’s upper back. The muscles feel defined against his palms, and Jeongguk tightens his hold when Taehyung picks up a faster pace.
Heat becomes unbearable with the close proximity but Jeongguk could care less, loving to have Taehyung this close to him, and especially now after everything.
The more Taehyung rolls his hips into him, the more his skin turns damp, Jeongguk’s fingers gliding against Taehyung’s naked back.
Taehyung kisses Jeongguk’s jaw again, hips now still against him. “Y’feel so fucking good, Jeongguk. I don’t know if I can hold on for much long—”
“S’okay, me too.”
The stretch feels too good, causing small prickling tears to appear in the corner of Jeongguk’s eyes. Feeling Taehyung like this feels unreal, and real all at the same time. Jeongguk tightens his hold around him, moaning whenever his prostate is stimulated.
Taehyung grabs his face, and kisses him deeply. Jeongguk inhales as the taste of Taehyung grows on his tongue, mind foggy when he pulls away.
“Can’t believe this is real,” Taehyung states, and Jeongguk nods because neither can he.
Everything feels different. It’s like it’s pounding in the air, the feelings they have for one another, yet Jeongguk still truly can’t believe it. He’s been wanting Taehyung so much that now that he finally has him, it doesn’t feel real. Fuck.
But then—
Taehyung smiles, really smiles. The boxy one, showing all of his teeth, and Jeongguk smiles just as wide, feeling a kiss drop onto one of his dimples.
Shit.
Taehyung’s really with him.
“Yeah, me too.” Jeongguk looks into Taehyung’s gaze, thumb rubbing soothingly over his chin, the growing stubble prominent.
Taehyung’s hands move downwards, grabbing roughly onto Jeongguk’s ass, lifting him up a bit in the air, an arch in his back naturally caused. His forehead knocks down onto Jeongguk’s tattooed chest, breath hot against Jeongguk’s dampened skin.
“Taehyung—”
He doesn’t say anything, slamming into him roughly, the snap of his hips so precise that Jeongguk loses composure, hands falling from Taehyung’s jaw, and onto the covers.
The pleasure builds in his gut, the one that tells him he’s close, and Jeongguk doesn’t waste another second, taking ahold of his cock, and stroking himself to release.
He matches it with the rhythm of Taehyung’s thrusts, eyes hazy when they catch the sight of Taehyung’s bare cock disappearing within him.
“Mm— fuck ,” Taehyung curses, a whine slipping from his lips, muffled due to Jeongguk’s wet skin against his mouth.
“Uh huh, k-keep— shit ,” Jeongguk’s free hand holds tightly onto the material of his sheets, uncaring if he’s pulling too hard. “Taehyung, Taehyung I—”
Taehyung doesn’t stop, remaining with the same pace, exactly how Jeongguk needs it, and enough for it to snap.
Jeongguk comes undone, cum landing on his abs, hole tightening around Taehyung’s cock as his stomach draws in.
“J-Jeongguk, m’gonna—” Taehyung’s fingers dig further into Jeongguk's skin. “I’m—”
Jeongguk pulls him flushed against him, uncaring about the wet cum that’s pooling between them, needing Taehyung as close as possible. “Inside. Want it inside.”
Taehyung’s thrusts become sloppy, and a bit uncoordinated, his breathing uneven as he chases his high, hold tight around Jeongguk’s waist.
“Fuck, Jeongguk—mmph, f- fuck —” Taehyung lets himself go, pressing Jeongguk firm against him as his cock pulses uncontrollably inside of him.
Every twitch of Taehyung’s cock has Jeongguk clawing at Taehyung’s back, wanting to feel it all.
They remain like this for a long while, neither moving. Jeongguk is too focused on kissing Taehyung all over his face to notice the uncomfortable feeling of drying cum, and his cock softening inside of him.
“Mm, feels good,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath, kissing Jeongguk sloppily on the cheek, and nose before he slowly gets up. “Let me grab something to clean you up.”
Jeongguk winces when Taehyung pulls out, the cum dripping out, creating a wet spot on the sheets while Taehyung disappears to the bathroom.
His legs feel a bit funny, a buzzing sensation prickling everywhere which builds exhaustion within Jeongguk.
After regaining his breath, Taehyung comes back with a wet cloth, and cleans up Jeongguk gently.
The fabric is a bit rough against his skin, but Jeongguk doesn’t mind, too tired to care.
Taehyung joins him back in bed, placing his head onto Jeongguk’s chest. He kisses him softly on his skin, and looks up with a smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
They laugh a little, everything regarding them still hard to fully process, but it doesn’t take away from how good this feels.
Jeongguk grows tired in his hands, placing them over Taehyung’s back, nails scratching lightly over the defined muscles while Taehyung occupies his hands with Jeongguk’s ribs, drawing circles on his skin.
They don’t even know what time it is, but they fall asleep just like this. In each other's arms, with not many words said in between them because there’s no need.
This is more than enough.
Jeongguk wakes up the next morning to the feeling of Taehyung’s nose rubbing down into the crook of his neck, his soft breath tickling his skin.
“Hm—what time is it?”
“No idea,” Taehyung responds, remaining against Jeongguk instead of grabbing ahold of his phone to check. “Did you know you snore a little in your sleep?”
“I don’t snore,” Jeongguk argues.
Taehyung chuckles. “You do! It’s cute. S’really cute.”
“Fuck off—” Jeongguk says playfully, trying to push Taehyung off of him but he doesn’t budge, instead moving closer, bodies now aligned under the comfortable sheets.
“Are you tired?” Taehyung asks, kissing Jeongguk on his cheekbone.
“Hm…Why are you asking?”
Taehyung doesn’t say it out loud but it’s written all over his face. Jeongguk can’t help but laugh.
“Taehyung.”
“What?” He asks, moving closer, mouth now playing around on Jeongguk’s jaw. “What is it?”
“Mm—” Jeongguk bites back a moan. “Are you always like this in the morning?”
“S’cause it’s you.”
Jeongguk can’t help but smile. “Fuck, don’t say that.”
“I’m serious. Fuck, you drive me crazy Jeongguk. Want you all the time,” Taehyung admits without a stutter while his hands move under the covers, holding onto Jeongguk’s lower back.
“Taehyung—” Jeongguk bucks into him uncontrollably, wanting more. “You’re so— needy .”
“Mhm, I know baby,” Taehyung hums in agreement, mouth latching onto Jeongguk’s neck, and sucking softly.
The way Taehyung so effortlessly refers to him with an intimate pet name, one that tells Jeongguk that he’s with him, sends instant warmth all over his face.
“S’just like a puppy,” Jeongguk says breathlessly to divert his attention elsewhere.
Jeongguk expects Taehyung to laugh it off, tell him that’s one hell of a ridiculous nickname but instead his cock twitches.
Oh fuck .
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, tilting his head to kiss Taehyung, needing it all, but then his ringtone blasts loudly behind him.
“Hold on—” Jeongguk turns around, grabbing his phone to check who’s calling him early in the morning and—
“Shit.”
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung stops kissing him, sensing the panicked tone in Jeongguk’s dialect.
Swallowing down the sudden lump in his throat, Jeongguk looks at Taehyung.
“It’s my Dad.”
Notes:
ktg!th's honest reaction to me ending another chapter with a cliffhanger:
Chapter 23
Summary:
“Jeongguk. Sit.”
Notes:
ktg!th: so this is it huh.
ktg!jk: damn yeah you're right- but uh....what's with lati....
me: *sobbing uncontrollably in a corner* FUCK OFF
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“W-What?”
Jeongguk blinks. “He never calls.”
Taehyung sits up, soothing a hand down over Jeongguk’s naked back. “You don’t have to pick up if you don’t want to.”
Taehyung’s right. There’s no obligations. Jeongguk should only do it if he’s willing to, and as of right now, the last thing he wants to do is to talk to his father.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right.”
The contact name disappears, Jeongguk’s throat dry at the reminder that he’s never deleted his number, removing it permanently from his life.
He couldn’t.
Somehow he couldn’t, and he knows why.
In the end, it’s his father.
“What’re you thinking?” Taehyung asks softly, warm hands still on his back for comfort.
“I think…I think I want to call him back.”
Taehyung nods. “Do you want me to leave?”
Jeongguk shakes his head, grabbing Taehyung’s hand. “Please stay.”
“Okay, okay I’ll stay.”
To build proper composure, Jeongguk wants to take a shower, Taehyung agreeing to the idea. They step out of the bedroom in their boxers, holding onto Jeongguk’s clean clothes in both hands, tip-toeing towards the bathroom to not wake up the roommates who came home quite late by the looks of Ryu’s endless Instagram stories.
After a soothing, hot shower, Jeongguk already feels a lot better. Taehyung dries out his hair, swiping the towel over it rapidly, making him chuckle under his breath.
Jeongguk never knew how much he wanted to see Taehyung in his clothes until he’s dressed in a pair of his black shorts, and an oversized t-shirt. He looks cozy, the domesticity oozing from it, and Jeongguk can’t help himself, kissing Taehyung softly on the lips.
They walk out of the bathroom not long after, hair still damp as it drips onto their shirts.
The apartment is still quiet, no sign of life, and Jeongguk’s relieved that none of the roommates are up. Specifically Ryu after the stunt he pulled that managed to get Jeongguk—well, laid.
It takes another good minute before Jeongguk goes for it.
Taehyung’s sitting next to him, quiet and reassuring when Jeongguk opens his phone, ready to click on the contact name when Jaekyung’s contact picture covers the screen.
“Who’s that? He looks familiar…” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk’s reminded of how Jaekyung had pointed out Taehyung staring them down in Busan after their heart-to-heart by the beach.
“My brother,” Jeongguk clarifies, watching the frown leave Taehyung’s expression in an instant.
“Oh…”
Jeongguk answers the call, smiling the minute he hears Jaekyung’s voice through the line.
“ Jeongguk, hey, sorry to call so early. ”
“S’okay, you’re not the first one. Dad actually beat you to it,” Jeongguk lays out, unable to hold it in.
“ Yeah, actually that’s why I’m calling. Dad wants to see you, talk to you about something important. Preferably today. ”
Jeongguk feels his heart drop down to his ass at the possibility of seeing his father today, and for a talk of all things.
He never wants to talk, at least not with Jeongguk.
So, why now?
“Uh…I don’t know, hyung…”
“ It’s okay to not want to, but I think part of you will regret it if you don’t. You know him, he never wants to talk if it’s not important. I think you should go, but if you don’t want to, I’ll let him know. It’s okay, Jeongguk. It’s okay to say no. ”
Jeongguk wants to say no, it’s almost like a reflex to do so, but Jaekyung’s right. Their father never wants to talk if it’s not important, and Jeongguk will regret it if he doesn’t go.
“Okay. I’ll go,” Jeongguk answers, certainty laced into his words.
“ You’re not gonna regret it, Jeongguk. And if anything happens, I’m right behind you, okay? ”
Jeongguk hums in approval, knowing that his brother is present now, and that it’s not going to change.
It’s different than before.
In the past, Jeongguk wouldn’t even have talked to Jaekyung like this beforehand, and again, he would’ve instantly said no or even worse: ignored him.
But, Jeongguk can feel it. A type of personal growth within him that started when he took that first step into his therapist’s office, and had his first session.
He’s not like how he was, and he’s glad he’s not.
It wasn’t healthy, and hell, maybe this talk with his father might bring something good. Maybe.
“Yeah, thanks, hyung. I’ll look for KTX train tickets after we hang up. I’ll text you when I'm there.”
“ Dad suggested Soo-hyun-ssi pick you up at the station. But, if it’s too much, I can tell him you’re taking the bus instead. It’s completely fine .” Jaekyung reassures him it’s not a problem, but Jeongguk doesn’t mind a faster journey.
“Okay, yeah no I don’t mind. Soo-hyun-ssi can pick me up.”
“ Alright . I’ll see you soon, Jeongguk. It’s gonna be okay. ”
“Thanks, hyung. I’ll see you.”
After hanging up, Jeongguk turns to look at Taehyung, and is surprised by the pained smile he’s wearing.
“So…You’re leaving today?”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah. I’m gonna buy a ticket for the KTX.”
Taehyung looks away. “Okay, text me when you—”
“Wanna come with me?”
Taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Really?”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah.”
Taehyung’s face lights up, the boxy smile prominent on his lips. “Okay, yeah, I’ll come with you.”
After booking two tickets, and sending a copy of it to Jaekyung, nerves grow in Jeongguk’s system.
Taehyung notices.
“Hey, you can back out any minute, you know that right?”
It’s exactly what Jeongguk needed to hear.
“Yeah, I know, thanks.” Jeongguk squeezes Taehyung’s hand, reaching for the comforting feeling of his warmth.
“Do you have an idea of what he wants to say to you?”
“No…I think that’s what makes this really overwhelming,” Jeongguk admits truthfully, gaze set on their intertwined fingers. “I never go to see him this way. It’s always linked to his work, to look good for the public…Never like this, to-to talk.”
Taehyung hums. “Maybe…Maybe this is good, maybe it’s not something bad. It might be closure, who knows?”
Jeongguk nods, the words from Taehyung a replica of his own inner thoughts, and it somewhat assures that he might not be completely off track for thinking that.
But still.
This is his father, a person that well—
“I hate that I’m terrified of him,” Jeongguk admits, the words tumbling from his mouth in a rush.
Taehyung moves closer, their knees now touching.
“Jeongguk, whatever he says, it’s far from the truth. You’re meant to be a soccer player, seriously.”
Jeongguk hums. “Yeah, no I know. I think there’s just always gonna be a part of me that wants his approval. It makes me fucking sick—”
“He’s your Dad , of course his approval matters to you somehow. I get that.”
Jeongguk sighs. “Thanks, Taehyung.”
Taehyung leans forward, planting a kiss onto Jeongguk’s forehead. “S’gonna be okay.”
Jeongguk knows things have changed between them because he believes every single word.
He’s never trusted Taehyung more.
“Feels weird being here when it’s not for a match,” Taehyung says as soon as they step out of the KTX train. His hand finds Jeongguk’s, fingers intertwined as they make their way towards the exit.
“Yeah, feels funny.”
“How’re you feeling?” Taehyung asks when they step onto the escalator.
Jeongguk nips at his bottom lip, the nerves still prominent in his system. “Hm…Like a little worse than earlier?”
“If there’s anything you need, let me know.”
“Thank you,” Jeongguk mumbles, leaning forward to support his forehead onto Taehyung’s shoulder, the material of the t-shirt soft over his skin.
They arrive near the exit, steps smaller because a part of Jeongguk is starting to regret doing this.
“Do you know where he’s parked?”
“Uh…Last time I came he had a sign with my name on it so I don’t know—”
“Is that him?” Taehyung points, and Jeongguk feels a lump form in his throat when he’s about to answer so instead he nods.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Wait—” Jeongguk grabs firmly onto Taehyung’s bicep, scared to take the final step before there’s absolutely no return.
“You okay?”
“I’m—I’m having second thoughts…”
Taehyung brings a hand onto Jeongguk’s nape, caressing the skin with the familiar warmth that instantly soothes Jeongguk.
“We can leave Jeongguk. It’s okay, who cares?” Taehyung shrugs. “I don’t mind, really. If you wanna go back home now, it’s okay. Say it, and we’ll go.”
It’s on the tip of his tongue, the easy way out but Jeongguk knows deep down that he should do it. He should talk to his father.
“Let’s go. I-I wanna go see him.”
Taehyung squeezes his nape. “You sure?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. Let’s go.”
Jeongguk doesn’t hold Taehyung back this time from stepping out of the station.
Immediately, they walk towards Soo-hyun-ssi standing beside the fancy black car with Jeongguk’s full name on a sign.
“Jeon Jeongguk-ssi, it’s good to see you again,” Soo-hyun greets, wearing an exact replica of what he wore last time Jeongguk saw him.
“You too.”
“Your father didn’t mention you bringing someone,” he notes.
Jeongguk grows tense. “Uh, yeah—sorry. This is Taehyung, my boyfriend.”
As soon as it rolls off his tongue, Jeongguk’s eyes widen, copying Taehyung’s expression.
They look at each other, just once, and then Taehyung’s lips curl into the prettiest smile Jeongguk’s ever seen.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Taehyung-ssi.” Soo-hyun bows respectfully, and steps aside to open the door for the backseat. “Please.”
“Y-You too,” Taehyung says, almost tripping on his own two feet when he goes to sit inside the car. Jeongguk’s not any better, fingers buzzing with nerves over what had just happened.
It’s never been said out loud even though they are, and Jeongguk feels his face growing warmer the longer the silence stretches inside the car.
“You just called me your boyfriend,” Taehyung mutters under his breath, his tone conveying that he can’t really believe it, and Jeongguk looks away, embarrassed.
“I-I…I uh, I—”
Jeongguk doesn’t get to say anything when he feels Taehyung’s hand warm, and firm on his conjoined hands on his lap.
“You’re my boyfriend. Holy shit.”
Jeongguk can’t help but snort, finding it extremely endearing with the way Taehyung’s so happy while still fully dipped in shock.
“I…Yeah, you’re my boyfriend.”
“I’m your boyfriend.” Taehyung giggles. “Your my boyfriend, oh my God, I’m your—”
“Is everything okay back there?” Soo-hyun asks when he turns the engine on, and Taehyung nods excitedly.
“Couldn’t be better!”
Jeongguk wants to kiss him.
God, he really wants to kiss him.
Too shy to do it in front of someone who works for his Dad, Jeongguk brings Taehyung’s hand near his mouth, and plants a wet kiss on his knuckles.
Taehyung looks at Jeongguk like he’s his whole world, and Jeongguk shies away from the gaze, the urge to kiss him stronger than ever.
“Hey, Jeongguk?” Taehyung whispers. “You never told me you were fucking rich!”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, snorting under his breath. “Shut up.”
The rest of the ride is calm, the radio playing music at a low volume. Jeongguk takes the time to look out of the window, watching the city he grew up in pass like a blur in front of his eyes.
Soon, the gate comes into view, and instead of his heart pounding erratically at the sight, it’s calm because of Taehyung’s loud presence beside him.
When the car comes to a halt, Jeongguk takes a deep breath.
“Okay, I’m—I don’t know how long it’s gonna take but…”
Taehyung squeezes his hand. “It’s okay. I’ll be here when you’re done. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks, Taehyung.”
Soo-hyun steps out of the car, and opens the door for Jeongguk.
The rocks crunch beneath his feet, and Jeongguk’s steps feel heavy when he walks up the stairs that contain immense memories from his childhood.
Jeongguk opens the door, and the house echoes when his sneakers squeak onto the clean marbled floor.
“Jeongguk, you made it.”
It’s Jaekyung, walking towards him in comfortable loungewear. He brings him into a hug, Jeongguk drowning into his brother’s scent that is a reminder that things are indeed different.
He’s not alone in this.
“How was the drive?”
“It was good, more than okay.”
“Good. Come on, he’s in his office.”
They walk upstairs, a maid passing by with cleaning supplies, and a respectful greeting.
The dark wooden door faces Jeongguk, and Jaekyung squeezes his shoulder.
“I’m right outside. If there’s anything, I’m here.”
“Thank you, hyung.”
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, and then he knocks.
“Come in.”
It’s muffled, but Jeongguk can hear it’s him .
After pulling onto the handle, Jeongguk takes the heaviest step, now faced with his father sitting in the big leather chair by his desk.
“Jeongguk. Sit.”
Jeongguk obeys, his movements robotic when he moves to sit down, scared that one wrong move will make his father angry.
Hyunmin’s expression is hard to read, always has been ever since Jeongguk can remember.
It’s hardened, sharp around his jaw, and his gaze is empty.
“How was the drive?”
Jeongguk tugs at the material of his shorts where his father can’t see when he answers.
“Good, really good.”
Jeongguk straightens in his posture, trying to appear brave in front of him as he waits for Hyunmin to continue.
“Jaekyung told me you won the championship.”
Jeongguk nods, scared to say something. He can’t tell where this is going, but by the mention of soccer, it might not go down a pleasant road.
“You must be thrilled, happy.”
“I am,” Jeongguk says, finding his voice.
“The reason I wanted to see you Jeongguk is because I want you to know that the path you chose for yourself, I respect it.” Hyunmin leans forward, elbows now planted onto the edge of the table. “I don’t agree with it but I respect it.”
Jeongguk blinks, unable to process what his father just said.
“What…”
“If soccer is what you want to do, then so be it.”
This can’t be.
Jeongguk feels like he’s dreaming.
“I—Where’s this coming from?”
Hyunmin lowers his head, an act he does when he feels guilty , and Jeongguk freezes in his seat.
“I’ve always wanted what’s best for you, to assure you have a stable future. You’re my son, and your future matters to me.”
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, body rooted in his seat.
“I understand now that I can’t make that choice for you, and I shouldn’t have tried to in the first place. Despite me not agreeing with your choice of career, I respect it. If soccer is what you want to do, then I won’t stop you. Not anymore.”
Jeongguk tries to hold back tears, emotions aching to be let out. He doesn’t know from what, if it’s relief, joy…Jeongguk doesn’t know but he feels it.
He feels it all in this instant.
Something he hasn’t felt in years .
“Thank you,” Jeongguk whispers, afraid his voice will clog if he tries to speak properly.
“You’re free to go.”
Jeongguk is just about to get up, knows he should but there’s something he wants answers to before he’s completely out of here.
“What made you change your mind?”
Hyunmin takes a deep breath, scratching a nail near his temple. “I can’t have another person walk away again. Especially not you.”
It’s not said out loud but Jeongguk knows who he’s referring to.
His mom.
Jeongguk swallows the thick lump in his throat, tears stinging the corner of his eyes from being held back, and that becomes his cue to leave.
Just as he’s about to step out of his father’s office, Jeongguk cranes his neck.
“I’ll see you at Christmas?”
Hyunmin’s hardened expression drops, and he nods.
The door shuts behind him, and Jeongguk allows the tears to fall.
Jaekyung’s quick to embrace him, giving Jeongguk the proper space to let it all out.
Everything.
The pressure, the stress, years of immense pain.
“You’re okay,” Jaekyung whispers into his hair.
“I’m okay. It went well, it’s good. Really.”
Jaekyung brings distance between them, and notices the huge smile on Jeongguk’s lips.
“You’re okay?”
“Yeah. I really am.”
“Okay. That’s good, Jeongguk. That’s really good.”
Jaekyung doesn’t ask him any questions, knowing it should come from Jeongguk if he wants to share, and he’s grateful his brother doesn’t push.
Jeongguk will tell him properly when he’s let it all sink in.
For now, he just wants to see Taehyung.
“I need to go,” Jeongguk announces, fast in his steps while Jaekyung follows him with a worried frown.
“What? Already?”
“Taehyung’s waiting for me.”
Jaekyung raises an eyebrow. “Taehyung? Who’s Taehyung?”
Jeongguk holds back a smile when he says it again. “My boyfriend .”
“Jeongguk?! What?!”
He throws his head back laughing, the stunned expression on his brother’s face way too funny at the moment.
“He’s waiting for me. I really gotta go.”
“Okay, yeah, no go!” Jaekyung waves at him when Jeongguk opens the front door. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah, yeah see you soon, hyung!”
Jeongguk spots Taehyung waiting for him by the end of the staircase, in the middle of kicking a rock.
Jeongguk runs down the stairs, feeling light in his feet, the weight completely gone.
He crashes onto Taehyung, smiling when he hears a small yelp from Taehyung before Jeongguk’s properly embraced.
“How’d it go?”
“Good. Really good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ve never been better.”
Taehyung hugs him again, tightening his hold around Jeongguk. “Let’s go home.”
“I’m glad your Dad came around with soccer.”
Jeongguk smiles. “Me too.”
They walk side by side towards the apartment complex but then Jeongguk stops in his tracks.
“What’s wrong?”
“Wanna go to the field?”
Taehyung narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Why…”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Just for fun, relax.”
“I have a hard time believing you.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
Taehyung still doesn’t budge, and Jeongguk’s patience runs thin.
“I’ll drag you by the ear if not.”
“Okay! Okay, okay let’s go.”
Jeongguk laughs loudly as he watches Taehyung run towards the field, afraid that Jeongguk will actually pull his ear despite him obeying his request.
They make it to the field, a soccer ball left behind planted in the corner of the goal.
Jeongguk eyes Taehyung, and then they start running.
Neither of them even get to reach the ball, Jeongguk tackling Taehyung when he’s inches away from it before him.
They fall on top of each other, Taehyung groaning, and chuckling loudly when he notices the annoyed frown on Jeongguk’s face.
“You’re such a sore loser!”
“I’m not!”
“You so are!” Taehyung holds Jeongguk down by the waist, and blows a raspberry on his neck.
“Stop—that tickles!”
“Aw, want me to do it again?” Taehyung’s just about to when Jeongguk tries to break himself free, both of them laughing in unison when he barely budges.
“Come on, let me go.”
“Say pretty please.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Taehyung, come on, I just wanna kick the goal!”
Notes:
thank you to everyone who read this, and joined the journey to kick the goal's completion. thank you to everyone who gave it some love on twitter by reposting, recommending and talking about it. thank you to everyone who posted and made use of the ktg community. thank you to every anon that sent asks, character asks and shared their thoughts. thank you to everyone who commented. thank you gray for taking her time beta reading all of ktg and helping in making it the story it has become today, mari & sara for always handing out help if i was ever in doubt about something, tima who shared her theories and never failed in showing ktg a lot of love, and lastly the ktg spoiler room for being an amazing group of people who have nothing but love and support for this story.
thank you all. this has been fuuuuunnnn!!!!!!! ❤️
ktg!th: bye guysssss
ktg!jk: byyyyyyyeeeeee
me: b-bye *starts sobbing again*
ktg!jk: *sigh* here they go again......
p.s there will be an epilogue ⚽️❤️
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