THERAPY NO JUTSU(or just time travel)

by Flowergalilo19_8

Summary:

Kakashi has decided that he’s fucked, not like in his favorite icha icha book, but like he’s in sage dammed past!

Also he only now realizes that his (future)students have not one, not two but so many issues!

Another thing, WHY IS HE FIVE?!

Notes:

SOO— this is a remake of ‘The chance we need’ that is on hold and I honestly just wanted to remake this so I could go batshit crazy on it lol-

Chapter 1: God damn it Naruto!

"No." Was the first thing Kakashi ever heard when he walked into his Hokage's(students) office.

"C'mon, it'll be fine!"

"No Naruto, we aren't going back in time to whatever it is that you want, it's completely irresponsible!" Kakashi winced a tiny bit at his pink haired students tone while his black haired student had given a nod to agree with his teammate.

"Kakashi-Sensei, what's your input on Naruto's idea?" Two heads snapped towards him and he shot his female student a small glare with no real heat behind it. She just shrugged and smirked at the glare, besides that, Kakashi was now confused, time travel? Why on the five great damned Shinobi nations would Naruto, the Hokage, want to go back in time? He had a wife and two children and a village to run, for kami sake!

He turned his head away from Sakura and towards his blonde student, "Why would you even want to go back in time Naruto?" He only got a pout in reply.

Sakura answered him before Naruto could stop pouting. "He found a Jutsu on it and wanted to use it for some inane reason." Naruto shrunk back at the look he got from her when he tried to speak which made Kakashi a bit amused since Naruto is the Hokage and all but they still are his team 7.

Well that explains it, Even if Naruto was Hokage, he was still a bit childish but that is one of his most endearing qualities even if it gets annoying sometimes.

"Naruto, if I happen to agree then how would it work?" that got his slightly scared student to perk up and it only got him a scowl from Sasuke but he did avoid looking at Sakura since he could feel the tiniest bit of killing intent radiating off her.

He got a happy and mischievous grin from the Hokage as he sat up.

”Well since you asked, the Jutsu can place four people back in time to the place in time where they want to change whatever they want too and plus if something bad happened!”

....

”What?”

Naruto shrunk back instantly into his chair when he saw the glare and scowl that he got from his two teammates.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was amused to see this, “Maa, four people? Isn’t that a bit convenient?” That caused the blonde to pause for a moment.

”We told you that when you told us!” Sakura hissed at the blonde and Sasuke just continued to scowl at him, Naruto gave them a sheepish grin but the look in his eyes gave no indication that he was sorry at all.

"But it's a good idea, just think of the things we can do!! We can help Neji, Gaara, the Uchihas and my family!" .....

"What? Was it something I said?"

....

"YES!!"

"YEESH, stop yelling at me!!" He got two 'sorrys' and one 'hn' from his teammates and Sensei.

"So are we all now okay with going to the past to essentially fuck it up and mess with it?" He grinned when he finally got the positive replies he wanted.

His grin was shared with his team as they smiled one way or another, he started to do the hand seals.

”Naruto, are you sure this is safe?” Asked the concerned medic nin.

He grinned at her tone and gave a cheerful, ”Nope!”

Before anyone could reply, they were gone with a gust of wind and a bright flash…

Chapter 2: Floor is god… god hates man

Summary:

Floor is nice.. it can’t hurt you or leave you or sacrifice yourself and give you an eye and make you kill it and it can’t be mean to you.. floor is good, floor might be god.. MAYBE..

...

WHERE'S HIS ICHA ICHA!?

A small pained groan filled throughout the room, as a young looking boy sat up from the floor he heard footsteps from afar but did really seem to notice since the only things he could focus on were the raging headache hurling throughout his head and... Naruto..

'WHY did I agree with him??..'

God- kakashi felt like he was hungover.. and would some PLEASE turn the lights off?! Kakashi groaned from the brightness and pulled an arm, which felt weirdly small, over his face..

”Pup?! Why are you on the floor, did something happen?” The worried voice of his, should be dead, father reached his ears and he now remembered where and when he was..

the boy groaned again and looked up at his father, who he should be shocked to see but he wasn’t in the right mind or mood for that and just stared at him with a blank and lazy look, Sakumo was surprised to see his son like this as he was not like this before, had he gotten hurt when he fell of his bed?

”Fate.. fate has bonded me with this floor..” he spended too much time near Neiji when the boy was alive.. he knew he was being stared at but honest to god.. Kakashi just wanted to go back to bed and call it a day..

when he looked up at his father he got a concerned and confused look and smiled lovingly at the floor..

”the floor is nice.. it can’t hurt you or leave you or sacrifice yourself and give you an eye and make you kill it and it can’t be mean to you.. floor is good..”

Kakashi reached into his pocket jacket that he immediately realized that the one thing that would keep him sane was not there..

his Icha-Icha was gone..

he was going to kill Naruto when the boy got back but for now he was just content to cry, he was all alone now.. how was he supposed to survive with the floor if he didn’t have his favorite book?!

Sakumo was surprised and extremely worried about his son when he just started crying out of nowhere, it was something about ‘my paradise..WHY’ but that was all he could make out of the hysterical sobbing from his son. He shook himself out of his stupor and picked up the sobbing boy and just held him..

he didn’t have the heart or peace of mind to tell the boy that he was  extremely late for training.. or that his Sensei was in their dining room, siting and drinking tea…

he’d tell his pup later.. maybe when he calmed down..

Chapter 3: Damn BLONDES

Summary:

Note to self; kill Jiraya for showing his FIVE year old student those ridiculous sexual novels he’s writing!

…

Notes:

This one is kinda long so buckle in hoes

Minato was having a regular day like all the others, war seems like it’s closing to an end, him and Kushina are doing fine, he and Kakashi are doing good in training.. speaking of his little student, where was he? He’s usually very early and on time everyday.. he’s probably sick, that’s why he didn’t show up..

SICK?! DAMNIT MINATO, GET YOUR BLONDE SELF TOGETHER!

still even if he is then he has Sakumo taking care of him. Minato took a deep breath.. and left the training grounds and towards the Hatake compound.

But it wouldn’t hurt to still check in on him, just to really make sure he’s alright and all!

---

”Sakumo-“ Minato knocked on the door calmly, he wasn’t going to barge into his friend’s home, he did have some self control! “-, is Kakashi there?” The door opened to reveal a slightly frazzled Sakumo, some of his silver hair was sticking up in places, who wore a tired smile.

”Ah-Minato, come in!-“ He welcomed the blonde into the house and led him to the dining room. “-, and yes Kakashi is here, he’s just still sleeping.. he looked so peaceful and forgot he had training today, I’m sorry.” Minato sweat-dropped and the sudden apology.

The blonde began waving both his hands dismissively “No, no, it’s okay! I get it, when a child looks peaceful you just don’t want to wake them!” Sakumo gave a small chuckle and offered him some tea which

was an immediate ‘yes!’ From the blonde, I mean- he did run here from the training grounds and through the village..

Just when Minato started to enjoy his newly made tea.. a loud thump echoed through the house before silence took over.. it came from Kakashi’s room..

“I’ll go see what happened-“ Sakumo immediately sat up after gently setting his own tea down. “-, so please wait here while I go check on my son!” He hurriedly left to Kakashi’s room while Minato just continued to sit and sip his very calm and obviously delicious tea..

---

he waited a good fifteen minutes before Sakumo came out of Kakashi’s room with said hysterically sobbing boy in his arms, awe poor kakas- wait.. SOBBING?! Minato was internally freaking out now because Kakashi has never cried, which is weird for a five year old but it’s also weird for a five year old to graduate from the academy not even a few months after entering- shut it, back to the main focus!!

“What happened?!” His immediate distressed tone caused the older man to look at him with a tired look that made Minato give a wince of sympathy.

”ITS GONEEEEE..” the loud wail from Kakashi had snapped Minato out of his sympathy stupor and left the blonde confused with the statement. “What’s gone ‘Kashi?” He got another tired look, like seriously, give this poor single shinobi father a break!, and a louder wail in response, “M-Y PARADISE.. ICHA ICHA!!”

those wailing words from the younger caused the blonde to still in his movement to calm the boy down and his eyes darted to the door which made the older man give him a confused look that held seriousness in it and that’s when Minato knew he had to rat out his Sensei..

when Minato gave a sheepish and quick and loud explanation of what Sakumo’s son was hysterically sobbing about was a newly started porn series.. Sakumo quickly but a bit reluctantly pushed the still hysterical sobbing Kakashi into the blonde’s arms and then set off for the door before Minato could say something since he was trying to balance his tea and Kakashi at the same time..

The moment Sakumo slammed the door shut was the moment that Minato knew.. his Sensei would no longer be alive to make more of his weird porn novels..

Chapter 4: Oh god.. what have I made?..

Summary:

Floor IS god.. god still hates man

…

🐴

Notes:

WARNING: I was so sleep deprived while making this and it was 1:04 am and I was also possibly maybe ideka little high.. idrk..

Edit: dear god what the shit is this?!

So Minato was kinda stuck and ‘how are you stuck?’ You might never be asking? Well, he’s got just the story for you! You see, his former, legendary Sannin, Sensei had shown his very own, FIVE years old, student his own, not so very absolutely not appropriate, novels that were just porn and you might also be thinking ‘why the fuck would he do that?’ The answer is that he has no ever loving fucking clue!

now he’s sitting on Sakumo’s, a man who he very respects, very comfortable couch holding Sakumo’s, still hysterically sobbing, son(seriously he HAS NOT stopped sobbing and he’s getting worried, is it normal for a kid to cry this much?!?!), who he adores and loves to train very much!

And every time he asked Kakashi when he was okay when he quieted down just a heir, Kakashi would start sobbing again.. safe to say that he has sufficiently given up and just held him.. until Kakashi rolled himself, like seriously put Minato into a small sense of security and jumped into a roll onto the floor, out of his arms before he could even react.. and then started wailing hysterically, something about ‘the floor has forsaken me!!!’ He was getting concerned..

and the bad part was he couldn’t even ask for help, since this has NEVER happened before!he wanted Sakumo back..

---

Sakumo was standing in with his old friend in the Hokage’s office, he was still pissed and Jiraya was somehow still standing even after he’d beaten him into a bloody pulp, what a little nuisance shit, he’d have to beat that out of him too!

”Sakumo.. why.” Poor Hiruzen-sama is what he thought before tilting his head sideways in an innocent manner. “What ever do you mean Hokage-sama?” He knew his tone was wayyyy too sweet and innocent but the way Hiruzen sighed made it SO worth it in his very humble and amazing opinion!

NEIGH, NEIGH

“..Look at Jiraya, Sakumo, look at him..” and he was!(which he gave himself props for because after all, Jiraya was pervert whom was made ugly from all of his beatings but that was an improvement!) his smile tightened with venom as he glanced towards him after he got a glare from the Kage. all he saw was a horribly unholy ugly man and a look of slight confusion come across his face, turning towards the Kate again. “I still don’t see anything wrong!”

NEIGH

”..Are you kidding with me Sakumo? Jiraya is a damn horse!” Sakumo let out a chuckle, “that he is, I mean with the way he peeps on woman he is a horse!” He wanted to give himself a big ol’ pat on the back because he got a snort from the old Hokage which was an improvement from the glare he originally got!

a hoove kicked his lower back and he was now peacefully on the floor.

”You whorse!”

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Author’s Naruto Works.
• Part 1 of Authors proud of works
• Part 2 of Author’s Time Travel Works.
• Part 1 of Haruno Ghost Shenanigans.