Chapter Text
When Evan Buckley was 5 years old, he found a butterfly out in the garden. It was beautiful with bright orange wings swirling in patterns of white and black. He was mesmerized by it and he crouched down next to the bush it was sitting on, carefully picking it up into his small hand to study it closer. The thin legs grabbed around his finger and the small boy smiled happily as he watched it. But when he looked at it he realized that the butterfly couldn't flap its wings properly. One of the wings was crooked. He frowns slightly and bites his lip, feeling bad for the beautiful animal, wanting to help it.
He takes his free hand and strokes carefully along the butterfly’s body, careful not to disturb the flawed wing, wanting to comfort it somehow. Then he feels a tingling sensation in the hand that the butterfly is sitting on, it starts out in his wrist and travels through his palm and into his finger. It’s not an uncomfortable feeling. It’s sort of warm and soothing, it kind of reminds him of how it feels like when he’s been sitting on his foot for a long time and then moves it, just not as strong. Suddenly the butterfly flaps its wings again and the boy blinks confused at it. The wing is not crooked anymore. He raises his hand so that the butterfly is right in front of his face, and looks at it closer. The animal flaps a couple of more times with strong strokes before it takes off, flying around his head before raising towards the sky, the orange wings glistering in the sunlight.
Evan has just turned seven. His sister Maddie made him a cake in the shape of a car and he had eaten too much, feeling a bit sick after. But it was a nice cake with raspberry jam and whipped cream. He had wished for a puppy for his birthday and he woke up excitedly in the morning, a hopeful feeling in his chest as he bounces down the stairs. His parents were in the kitchen and he got a hug and a low ‘Happy Birthday, Evan’ before they returned to their breakfast. When Maddie showed up with the gifts it was mostly soft packages. Some shirts, a new backpack, and a skateboard. But no puppy.
He’s out trying to master his new skateboard a few days later. He went to the park a few blocks away from their house and he has already fallen off it more times than he could count. But he’s a bit proud that he actually hasn’t fallen down completely on the ground yet, just kinda lost his balance. He’s just about to get on it again when he hears a whimper to his left and he looks over, trying to figure out what it was. At first he can’t see anything, but then he hears it again and when he walks closer his eyes catch a glimmer in the shadow under a park bench. Two big eyes look back at him and when he hunches down he realizes it’s a dog.
“Hi there.” He whispers, not wanting to scare it. He sits down in front of it, waiting as he watches the dog blink at him before it slowly makes its way out from under the bench. It’s not very high, with big hanging ears and soft, light brown fur. He thinks it is some kind of cocker spaniel, but he’s not sure. He smiles when it moves towards him and he slowly stretches out his hand, letting the dog sniff at it and chuckles when it quickly licks his hand. When the dog takes another step it lets out a whimper once again and he notices that it doesn’t want to use its back leg. He scratches the dog soothingly behind its ear before sliding his hand over its back towards the leg, just for the dog to flinch and try to move away, almost falling over as it jumps on three legs.
“Shh, it’s ok. You're gonna be ok.” He soothes and slides his hand carefully over the soft fur feeling the familiar tingling in his hand. Since the day with the butterfly he has helped quite a lot of animals, mostly bugs, a couple of small birds and once even a rat. But never a big animal like this. He’s not sure if he can. But it hurts him to see the dog in pain and he wants to help it.
He furrows his eyebrows and concentrates, tries to focus on the dogs leg and moves his hand slowly so that it covers the thigh. His blood starts pulsing and the warmth spreads in his arm, moving from his elbow down to his hand, and spreading over his palm and out towards the end of his fingers. The feeling is intense and he gasps in surprise, never felt it this strong before, but then the feeling subsides and when he looks closer he sees the dog putting its leg down. Shaking its body before coming closer, licking his cheek. It makes him laugh and the dog happily jumps around him, wiggling its tail and gives up a happy bark.
“Yodi!” A young woman comes running and steps up towards them. “Oh thank god, she got away from me.” The woman smiles at him while she fastens the leash in Yodi’s collar. Before she’s able to walk away Yodi jumps over at him for another lick on his face, as if to say thank you, before happily going with its owner, leaving the boy looking longingly after them.
“Evan, put those away and help me set the table.” Maddie turns back towards the kitchen sink and rinses the vegetables under the running water. He smirks and closes the books, he’s doing his math homework. He’s in 7th grade and he hates math. He puts the books on the side table and starts setting the table, it’s just him and Maddie, their parents are away on some resort somewhere and secretly, he kinda wishes it could be just the two of them all of the time. He misses his sister.
“Shot!” He turns around at Maddie’s outburst and notices the blood dripping from her hand, the knife scattered on the bench next to the tomatoes she was in the middle of chopping for the sallad. She snaps the kitchen towel from its hook and squints her eyes as she wraps it tight at her hand, grimacing slightly at the pain.
“Evan, could you get me the first aid kit, please?” She lifts the towel a little to inspect the wound and he can tell that it’s bleeding heavily. He swallows to dampen his dry throat and steps up towards her, making her look up with a frown.
“Evan? I need the kit, could you please get it?”
He reaches out and grabs a hold of her injured hand, tugging a little when she resists. He places his hand on her wrist, holding on tight and embraces the warm tingling starting to simmer in his shoulder.
“What are you-” Maddie suddenly goes silent and completely still. He concentrates on her hand and the warmth has reached his own, he feels how it leaves his fingers and travels into her skin. His pulse speeds up and he feels a bit breathless, almost dizzy, but then it subsides and he takes a couple of deep breaths as he unwraps the towel from Maddie's hand. She’s still completely frozen, not saying a word as he examines her hand closely. The hand is still covered in blood, but there’s no open wound anymore. Only a thin scar showing over her palm, the last evidence that she ever got cut in the first place. He lets go of her hand and takes a step back, hesitating a second before looking up at her face. Maddie’s looking down at him with wide eyes and she looks a bit pale.
“H-how did you- I-” She takes a shaky breath and licks her lips. “Evan, how did you do that?”
He shrugs his shoulders, he doesn't actually know how he does it.
“I don’t know. It just sort of happens.”
“Has- so it happened before?”
“Yeah. Been doing it for years, only on animals so far though. Never tried on anyone human before.” He frowns a little as he thinks back. “I tried it on myself, it doesn't work. I don’t know why.” He had his fair share of cuts and bruises over the years, even a broken arm. Would’ve been pretty handy if it would’ve worked on himself as well. But no matter how hard he tries, nothing ever happens when he tries to fix his own injuries. Maddie nods slowly, backing up until she sits on one of the kitchen chairs, her eyes still blown wide open.
“Alright. That’s- um.” She looks down at her healed hand, turning it over and over and flexing it before looking up at him again, a small smile playing on her lips.
“I always knew you were special, baby brother. Guess I didn’t realize how special you were. This gift of yours is truly remarkable. Thank you for fixing my hand.” He smiles shyly at her, happy she seems to like his ability as much as he does.
“Have you told anyone else about this, Evan?” Suddenly her eyes are filled with worry and he doesn’t really understand why.
“No?” He has felt like this is very personal and has not wanted anybody to know before, so he hasn’t told any of his friends. It seems to be the right answer, because Maddie gets a relieved look on her face as she lets out a small breath.
“Alright, good.” She gets up and stands in front of him, crouching down so he has to look down to meet her eyes. She grabs his hands and squeezes them tight.
“I don’t understand how this is possible, I do know this is something truly wonderful though. But you need to be careful about this, Evan. Not everyone is understanding people, and sometimes, people get scared when they don’t understand what’s happening. And when people get scared, they do bad things.” She lets her gaze travel over his face. “So maybe not tell anyone about this? Unless you really have to?” He bites his lips, he wasn’t really gonna tell anyone, but her words kinda scares him. So he nods, and when she pulls him into a tight hug he buries his face in her neck.
He’s lying on his bed, smiling at his phone. He’s texting with Luna. They’ve been hanging out for a few weeks and he really likes her. He might want to ask her to senior prom. He thinks she’ll say yes. Or at least he hopes so. She always blush when he takes her hand and she has that really cute smile every time he comes up and says Hi on the school yard. He hasn’t kissed her yet, he almost did, the other night when they went to the movies. But then her dad pulled up in the parking lot to pick her up, and it wasn’t like he could kiss her with him watching. So he just gave her a small wave goodbye.
Suddenly he hears a loud crash from outside his bedroom door, he frowns and throws the phone on the bed as he quickly gets up, heading over to the door.
“Phillip! Oh god, Phillip ! Help !” Evan feels his heart stop at his mothers desperate cries and he runs out of the room towards the stairs. When he reaches the top of them he looks down and his breath catches when he sees his father lying still on the bottom step, one leg bent in an unnatural angle and a deep cut on his head.
“Evan! Call 9-1-1!” His mother yells up at him as she pats her husband's head carefully. Evan doesn’t go back for his phone, he rushes down the stairs instead and kneels next to his father’s unmoving body, he presses one hand to the man's neck and with the other he grabs one of the limp hands. The familiar warmth starts growing in his chest and he closes his eyes, letting the feeling consume him. The tingling is all over, he never felt it like this before, it usually only in his arms, sometimes his chest, but now it’s everywhere and he needs to take several deep breaths to keep calm. The normally tingling sensation is this time more of a bussing, gliding through him and making a static noise in his ears. It glides under his skin until it starts to coordinate and then he feels how it surges through his arms, the force punching the breath out of his lungs and he gasps as he tries to breath through it. He feels it reach his hands and it leaves his body, entering the still man underneath his hands, and then everything goes black.
When he wakes up he’s still on the floor. He doesn’t know how long it’s been but he wouldn’t guess too long. He slowly sits up and looks over at his parents, wanting to make sure his dad is alright. He opens his mouth to ask but then he stops before getting a word out, noticing the looks on their faces.
It’s pure horror and rage. He feels how he shrinks into himself under their heavy gazes and he swallows the lump in his throat.
“Get out.” He blinks at his mothers hoarse whisper, surely she can’t mean-?
“Get out of this house. Get out! ” He flinches at the last words being yelled at him and he scrambles up onto shaky legs. Backing away from the two people sitting on the floor, staring at him with fear and hatred.
“Mom-” His voice breaks and he feels tears burning behind his eyelids, he was helping, he didn’t do anything wrong. They can’t mean this. “Dad-”
“I don’t know what kind of demon you are, but you are no son of mine.” His dad is slowly standing up, pulling his wife up and putting her behind him, shielding her, as if Evan was the danger. “We won’t ask again. Leave this house.”
Evan stumbles back, and when his back hits the door he turns, blindly trying to find the handle to open it, a sob rips through him when he finally manages to get a hand around it and he runs out the door, turns left on the street and keeps on running with tears streaming down his face.
He never went to prom.
Chapter Text
15 years later
The red and blue light is playing in the dark night, reflecting against the shattered glass laying on the ground and the wrenched metal of the black cars. The firefighters and police are working organized and effectively, making sure to get the scene under control while keeping curious bystanders at bay.
Evan Buckley huffs as he shuffles around, trying to get into a more comfortable position while he crawls into the back seat of one of the vehicles.
“Hi there.” He smiles kindly at the young girl that’s stuck in her seat, she can’t be more than 10 years old. “I’m Buck, I’m here to get you out. What’s your name, sweetheart?”
She looks at him with big eyes in the pale face.
“I’m Lucinda.” She eventually whispers.
“That’s a beautiful name. Does anything hurt?”
“My- my leg.” He looks down at her legs and sees that they’re pressed against the driver's seat that’s been pushed back at the collision. He looks back up at the girl and feels a stab in his chest at the silent tears running down her cheeks. He hesitates for a second, throwing a gaze out towards the others. His team are working on the other car and the parents, not paying him any attention. He turns back towards the girl.
“Hey Lucinda, give me your hand will you? I’m gonna try to get the pressure off your legs.” She gives him her hand and he quickly removes his glove, taking her small hand in his. He searches knowingly and effectively within himself and soon enough he feels the tingling start to work its way through his arm. He looks back at her face and it seems to be a bit more relaxed, not quite as tense anymore. He smiles at her while he feels around for the lever of the seat, and swears under his breath when it won’t budge. He presses down on the radio, and leans into it.
“Buckley to 118, need some help over here. The girl is stuck, the driver seat is pressing into her.” He let’s go and it’s not long before he hears Eddie’s familiar voice.
“Got it, on my way.” He smiles up at the girl, making sure to keep a hold of her hand and the low tingling going while they wait.
“That was my friend Eddie. He’s really good at what he does, he’ll get you out in no time. How are you feeling?” She blinks at him.
“B-better, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”
A couple of minutes later the front door bursts open when the man in question jams a crowbar into it, pulling hard, before sticking his head in, looking back at the two of them in the back seat.
“How are we doing in here?”
“Not too bad, could use some help with the seat though, if you wouldn’t mind.” Buck smirks at him and he gets a deadpan glare in response from his friend.
“Your wish is my command.” Eddie says sarcastically before smiling kindly at the girl. “Let’s get you out of here, yeah?” Lucinda nods her head and Buck takes a firmer grip on her hand, increasing the simmering feeling a bit as Eddie starts to work on the seat. He doesn’t want the girl to be in agony but he’s also careful to not take it all away.
During the last 10 years he’s been getting to know his gift a lot more than when he was a kid. Back then he couldn’t control it, he let it control him and it went all out anytime he used it. Now he knows his limits, and he knows how to use it without being noticed or drain himself. He can relieve some of the pain when he feels it will help, but not taking it too far and always making sure they’re not making the connection that it’s because of him. Working as a firefighter gives him the chance to use his gift for good, to help the once in need. But it doesn’t put him in danger because of it. 3 times in his life he told people what he’s capable of. One stuck by him, 2 disowned him and the third- well, let's just say he learned his lesson and won’t make that mistake again.
He snaps back into his head when he hears a groan and the seat gives out, falling forward as Eddie catches it and pulls it out of the car wreck, making room for Buck to cut off Lucinda's seatbelt and carefully move her. Hen is waiting outside with a stretcher and soon enough the girl is rolled away towards the ambulance. Eddie steps up next to him, knocking his shoulder into his.
“Well done, you always impress me with how you manage to keep the kids that calm.” Buck feels a blush raise on his cheeks, the praise making something warm grow inside his chest, and gives his friend a small smile.
“Thanks.” He mumbles and Eddie throws him another smile before jogging over towards where Ravi is working on the other car. Buck looks after him before heading towards Bobby, checking in on what’s next.
“Dude, come on! No way they’ve slept together, look at how tight up they are!” Buck gestures wildly at the screen where the couple is sitting awkwardly next to each other on the grass.
“Maybe they're just shy in front of the camera?” Eddie tries but Buck can tell that he actually doesn't believe his own words, the corners of his lips twitching as he tries to keep back the smile. “You must admit it is a pretty weird situation.” The man continues with a grimace.
“Well, yeah, sure. But that’s what they signed up for, isn’t it?” Buck takes a sip of his beer.
“Would you do it?” Eddie looks over at him with an raised eyebrow, clear disbelief in his eyes.
“Getting married on television to a person I’ve never met?” He asks with a deadpan tone that makes it clear he thinks even the entertainment of the idea is ridiculous. And yeah, that idéa is actually kind of ridiculous and Buck chuckles.
“Well, maybe not the tv-part of it all, but it's all based on science, isn’t it? To find the perfect match based on your personality. Imagine not having to go through the whole looking-for-someone-phase, just have someone put a person in front of you and say, ‘ Here, this person is perfect for you ’, and then you just give it all.” He trails off and looks over, Eddie’s gaze steady at him from the other side of the couch.
“Yeah, I guess. But doesn’t that kind of feel like cheating though? Isn’t meeting someone part of it all?”
“Nah, I would love to skip that part.” Buck sighs and leans back against the couch, closing his eyes as he listens to the rain pattering against the windows outside. It’s pretty late, Chris went to bed a few hours ago and he and Eddie have just been watching television and had some beers. He feels warm and content and could probably fall asleep right here, comfortable as always in the Diaz’s household.
Then there's a loud boom outside the window, making the both men jump in their seats as a lightning bolt lights up the dim living room. The rainstorm apparently goes into a thunderstorm instead and Buck stands up and heads to the window, the bottle hanging loose from his fingers. As he looks outside, he sees lightning bolts flashing over the sky and he can’t repress the shiver down his spine. He’s kind of fascinated by the weather, always has been, at the same time as he has an utmost respect for it. The power of nature is so unimaginable and he feels so tiny among it all sometimes. Another burst of lightning bolts dances across the sky and he tries to count them but loses track of it pretty quickly.
“Did you know that Lake Maracaibo is the place that gets the most lightning strikes in the world?” He turns his head to look back over his shoulder at Eddie where he’s still seated on the couch. “They can have up to 280 strikes an hour for 10 hours a day, almost 300 days a year.”
“I did not know that. That’s pretty insane.”
“Yeah.” He looks back out the window. “They call it Relámpago del Catatumbo, the cold air coming down from the mountains crashes into the hot air from the Caribbean, making the perfect condition for it.” Eddie hums behind him and another lightning illuminates the room, throwing a cold light over the surfaces.
“Dad?” The both of them turn around at the small voice and notice Chris standing in the entrance to the hallway, leaning close to the wall with his arm tight around his plush toy, a frown on his face. Eddie puts down his beer on the table and walks over, kneeling down in front of his son, rubbing his arms soothingly.
“Hey bud, did the storm wake you?” Chris nods and bites his lip, leaning against Eddie’s chest.
“Yeah. It was so loud.”
“Alright, wanna watch some telly with us?” Chris nods and Eddie picks him up and carries him over to the couch, looking over at Buck.
“Joining us?” Buck walks over and slumps down next to Chris, ruffling his hair with a soft smile.
“Of course, what are we watching superman?” The boy bites his lips as he considers his choices before looking up at them with big eyes.
“Jungle Book, please.”
“Good choice, little man.”
They snuggle into the couch, Chris buried underneath a blanket and leaning against his dad. After a little while Buck feels a small hand tugging at his wrist and when he looks over Chris holds out his hand, he’s not completely sure what the boy wants but he puts his own in it and it seems to satisfy him as he leans back again against his father, Buck’s hand in a firm grip and eyes glued to the television. Eddie looks over and smiles softly at them before turning his eyes back to the screen, and with the orangutan singing the monkey song on the screen and the thunder sounding in the background, Buck relaxes into the couch with a happy feeling in his chest.
The morning after he wakes up to air that is fresh and smells of rain, drops covering the leaves on the trees and bushes while slowly dripping down to the ground. There's a light mist covering the pavement in the early morning and the sun has just started to rise, making the drops sparkle in the soft light. It’s peaceful and Buck whistles low when he puts his jeep back at Eddie´s driveway, grabbing the bag and heading up the house. He woke up early and went out for breakfast and hopefully the two people inside the house will be awake by now. He steps inside and kicks off his shoes, padding into the kitchen just in time to see Eddie emerging from the hallway, blinking at him sleepy with ruffled hair, still dressed in his boxers and an old t-shirt. He looks soft and warm and Buck feels a burst of fondness for his friend.
“Where did you go?” Eddie’s voice is still thick with sleep and he rubs his eyes with his fingers, trying to wake up.
“Breakfast.” Buck smirks and holds up the bag, extracting the take-away cup from the trace and hands it over. Eddie takes a sip and looks up at him, blinking surprised, before he gives Buck a small, pleased smile.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Buck turns away and starts unpacking the bag, biting back the smile threatening to emerge on his face. The coffee he got for the man is something he knows he very rarely gets for himself, with a bit of cinnamon and just a notch of almond milk, from the bakery down the street. They brew the coffee by pourover and it’s truly delicious, not anything Eddie indulges for himself very often. And the smile on his best friend's face that he gets in reward is definitely worth the extra dollars it costs.
He hears the telling sound of clattering of crutches against the floor and Christopher turns up, just as sleepy and newly awake as his dad, and looks at the table where Buck’s put up all the food he brought, eyes litting up.
“Wow! Donuts!”
He might have gone a bit overboard with the different kinds of foods and treats, but sue him, he likes to spoil them. He puts down the hot chocolate he got for the kid in front of him as Chris sits down and gets a toothy grin as a thanks. Eddie just shakes his head exasperated before sitting down with a small smile, stretching over to grab a bagel.
They drop Chris off at abuela on their way into work and pull up ten minutes before they’re supposed to clock in.
“Jeep broken, Buckley?” Chim’s teasing voice is heard over the parking lot as they climb out of Eddie’s truck, the man slandering towards them with his bag thrown over his shoulder.
“Nope.” Buck doesn’t offer any more explanation, just smirks at the man as he heads inside, Eddie trailing behind him. He’s in too good of a mood to get into it with his brother-in-law.
They’re about 5 hours in when Buck hears some commotion from down stairs. He exchanges a look with Hen and they quickly abandon the game of cards they’re in the middle of in favor of heading over to the railing, looking down at the ground floor. At first he can’t really tell what it was they heard, but then he notices Eddie standing next to the container outside, holding onto- is that Chimney’s legs sticking up? He tilts his head as he watches the two men and yes, that is Chimney, head down into the container, seemingly looking for something while Eddie tries his best to make sure the man doesn’t fall in completely.
“Um, should we-?” He throws a glance over at Hen and chuckles when he sees she got her phone out, recording the situation.
“Yes, we definitely should. I need this on film.” They head downstairs and walk over towards their colleagues.
“Sooo, exactly what are you guys doing?” Eddie looks over his shoulder at them with a sheepish expression.
“We heard something from inside.”
“Hmm.” Buck walks over and peaks over the edge. “Doing alright down there, Chim?” There’s a muffled sound before Chim’s red face shows.
“Sshh! I almost got it!” Before he turns back down and Buck raises his hands and back off, rolling on the soles of his feet as he waits with the others. He’s actually kind of curious what they think they got in there.
“I got it! Guys, pull me up!” Eddie takes a firm grip around the man’s legs and with Buck’s help they get Chim out and upright again, clutching something tight against his chest.
The tree of them steps closer and peaks down at the gray ball of fur the man holds close and Buck melts when a pink nose shows. It’s a small kitten, looking at them with big eyes as its tail swings slowly. It lets out a disgruntled sound and tries to climb out of Chim’s grip, using its small, sharp claws if the grimace on Chim’s face is anything to go by.
“Ouch! Your little savage, stay still.” Buck shakes his head and reaches out, carefully extracting the small animal from Chim’s arms and cuddling it to his chest, carefully sliding his finger over the soft fur.
“You’re alright, it’s ok.” He coo’s at it and the kitten purrs as it presses against his hand.
“Hey! You ungrateful thing, I’m the one who got you out of there!” Chim glares down at it and pouts.
“All animals love Buck.” Eddie’s voice is soft, making Buck’s cheeks heat up and he bends his head and buries his smile in the fur of the small animal. The thing is that he also really loves animals, and the little bundle in his hand is already starting to nestle into his heart.
“So what are we gonna do with it?”
“Take it to a vet maybe? Or an animal shelter? Get it checked out.” Eddie suggests and Buck looks over at him, suddenly having the best of idéas. Eddie meets his eyes and frowns for a moment before his eyes widen comically and he takes a step back, holding up his hands as to shield himself.
“ No .”
“He would love it , Eddie! Just look at it!” Buck lifts the kitten so it’s in the height of Eddie’s face, taking a step closer to him.
“Forget it.”
Chim and Hen start smiling as well, quickly catching on.
“Look at that cute little face, Eddie, how can you resist?” Hen teases and Eddie glares at her.
“Then you take it home. I’m sure Karen and Danny would love it.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t deprive Christopher of the joy.” Hen says cheerfully with a smirk before turning around and heading back up the stairs with a loud laugh.
“ Hen! ”
“I’ll get a box.” Chim sends Eddie a big smile before he as well turns around. Buck continues to pet the small head, looking up through his eyelashes at Eddie, putting on a pout.
“It’s so small, and so cute, and you know Chris will love it, Eds!” The man pinches the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh.
“Buck. It will grow and someone will have to take care of it. And I know that that someone will be me.”
“I’ll help! I’m over at your place all the time anyway.” Buck looks over at his friend and he feels the triumph build in his chest when he notices the man starting to sway in his stern look. Looking down at the furball in his hands with soft eyes.
“Please? I can’t keep it in my apartment, the building doesn’t allow animals.” Eddie’s shoulder sags and he puts his hands on his hips, tipping his head forward.
“ Mierda .”
Buck holds his breath, waiting until Eddie looks up at him again, and he knows he succeeded.
“We are still taking it to get checked out and making sure it gets all the shots. And you’re helping me get everything we need.”
“Yes! Oh, this will be awesome , I can’t wait to see the look on Chris’s face!” Buck feels like his smile splits his face in two but he’s just so excited. They still got 8 hours left on their shift but he really wish they could just clock out right now instead.
Chim returns with a cardboard box with a blanket in the bottom of it and Eddie heads upstairs to try to find something for the kitten to eat and a bowl of water while Buck carefully puts it down. When the kitten is secured in the bottom of the box it meows unhappily and as it starts moving around it doesn’t walk properly.
“Hmm, looks like it’s hurt, it’s limping.” Chim peeks into the box and lifts it up again, carefully feeling through the leg. “I’ll see if we got anything in the ambulance we can use.” He puts the cat back down into the box and Buck looks after him as he disappears inside the vehicle, biting his lip.
He really shouldn’t, Chim already saw that it was hurt. But then the kitten lets out another distressed sound and Buck immediately caves, if there’s anything his heart can’t handle, it’s children and animals in pain.
He looks around quickly before bending down, covering the injured leg with his hand and lets the tingling warmth work through his forearm and hand. It only takes a few seconds and he puts the kitten back down just in time for Chim to return.
The man kneels down next to the box and blinks in surprise when the kitten jumps up with its front paws on the edge of the box, happily swinging its tail, suddenly completely fine.
“Um- what? I could’ve sworn-” Chim looks up at him with a confused frown and Buck just shrugs his shoulders, an innocent look on his face.
“Don’t ask me, man, I’m no medic. Maybe it was just a muscle spasm?”
“Y-yeah. Maybe.” The man scratches his forehead. “Guess I don’t need this then.” He gathers the supplies and stands up to return them to the ambulance, mumbling for himself and Buck lets out a low chuckle as he scratches the kitten behind its ear.
Chapter Text
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Eddie mutters and throws a look over at the box that’s situated in Buck’s knee, before turning back to watch the road. Buck puts down a hand and strokes the kitten's soft head with a finger and feels how it purrs.
“Aw come on, Eds. You already love her, admit it.” His voice is soft and he keeps his eye down on the small animal. She’s curled into a ball and seems quite content with the temporary nest she has going. The car comes to a stop and Buck carefully holds the box as he gets out of the car, making sure not to jostle it too much. They walk up to the house and Eddie opens the door, letting Buck inside.
“Hello?”
“In the kitchen.” Carla lets them know and the two men walk over. Chris is doing his homework at the table and Carla seems to be in the middle of cleaning up after dinner. When they enter the room Chris happily smiles at them before his eyes immediately zooms into the box in Buck’s hands.
“What’s that?” Edde and Buck share a look before Eddie turns towards his son.
“Why don’t you have a look?” Carla gives them a suspicious look before she as well comes closer, walking behind Chris. When Chris comes closer Buck kneels down and puts the box on the floor, the kitten stands up on the blanket and stretches before it blinks up at the young boy who’s staring down at it. Buck holds his breath as he waits for the boy to react, but when the minutes ticks by and the boy still just stares at the ball of fur he starts to get an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He looks up at Eddie and meets his eyes, seeing the concern in there as well and a slight frown on the man’s face.
“Chris?” Eddie crutches down next to his son, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You ok?”
Suddenly tears start falling down Chris’s cheeks and the three adults look at each other in alarm. Buck has no idéa what is happening, he was so sure Chris would love the kitten, he has talked about an animal for ages. Eddie rubs the boys back soothingly, sending Buck an helpless look.
“I-is it ours? Will i-it st-stay?” Chris eventually stutters out between sobs and turns his glossy eyes at Eddie before looking at Buck and then back at Eddie again.
“Yes, it’s ours.” Eddie ensures him with a smile.
“Re-really?”
“Yes Chris, we found it at the firehouse and it needs a home. We thought maybe you want to be its friend?” Buck explains, still quite confused by the reaction.
“You promise?” Eddie lets out a low chuckle, still rubbing the boys back.
“ Yes . Chris, I promise. She’s part of our family now.” Chris throws glances between Buck and Eddie and the kitten with a wobbling lip and Buck holds his breath. But then the boy throws his arms around Eddie’s neck and the man has to put a hand behind him to not fall over by the force
“Thank you, dad. I love you.” Buck and Eddie let out a relieved breath and Eddie quickly hugs his son back.
“Your welcome, love you too, bud. You should really thank Buck, though. Was his idea." The boy quickly lets go of his dad and shuffles over to Buck, throwing his arms around him with just as much excitement.
“Thank you, Buck. Love you.” The words are muffled into his hoodie and they warm Buck up into the core. Eddie sends him an intimate smile over Chris’s shoulder and he feels his ears go red as he meets the man's eyes. He presses a kiss to the boy's head and hugs him tightly to his chest.
“Love you too. You wanna meet her?” Chris lets go and nods eagerly, turning around and looks down into the box again, but this time all the tears are gone and his eyes are shining with excitement, happiness all over his young face. And this is what Buck was expecting,
Buck once again spends the night on the Diaz's couch. Since it was a special occasion Eddie let Chris stay up for a bit longer than usual, but after a ceremonial naming where Chris announced that the kitten now was named “Ash”, and a lot of playing and cuddling, they finally managed to get him to bed. Purposely ignoring the small bundle moving under the covers that he tried to hide from them with big innocent eyes.
When Buck blinks open his eyes it’s still early and he’s not sure what woke him up, the sun has barely started to rise and he groans and buries his face in the pillow, trying to get back to sleep. But then he hears sounds from the kitchen and he lifts his head, trying to pinpoint what it is. He frowns slightly when there’s another sound and throws the covers of, quietly padding over to the door into the room and carefully peaks inside.
Eddie is sitting on the floor, resting his back against the cabinets and Ash is climbing all over him, making the man laugh quietly as he tries to feed it a bit of cheese he holds in his hand. The kitten meows and puts her paw on Eddie’s hand, seemingly trying to hold it still, while she starts chewing on the cheese and Eddie pats it on the back with his free hand with a soft smile.
“Don’t tell Buck I said this, but you’re actually kind of cute. We're gonna be friends, aren’t we?” It’s only a low mumble and Buck has to strain his ear to hear but the sight makes something flutter close to his heart.
That’s something that’s been happening a lot lately, and he’s not completely sure what to think about it. Eddie’s his best friend, he can’t imagine a world without him and they’ve always been close. But lately it’s been- more. Intimate smiles that make something warm up his chest, lingering looks that make his breath hitch in his throat and then times like this, when he just looks at his friend, and his heart makes a flip in his chest. He’s not completely sure when it started but it’s- new, and something he doesn’t know what to do with.
He watches the man and the kitten for another moment before backing up just as quietly and returns to the couch, sliding down under the covers and falls back asleep with the picture of warm brown eyes on the back of his eyelids.
The next day they go to the vet to make sure the kitten is ok and gives it all of its shots. They learn that Ash is about 10 weeks old and looks healthy, even though a bit undernourished, so they got some complementary vitamins and replacements. Next up is the store to get supplies. Chris is ecstatic about it all and would probably buy the whole store if they didn’t stop him.
“Chris, we do not need 4 different cat trees. One is enough.” Eddie says with a stern voice as Chris pouts at him.
“But she needs one in every room, dad!”
“No, she really doesn't. You get to pick one , and one only.” Chris mutters for himself as he walks down the aisle with them trailing behind.
“ Christ .” Eddie rubs his face and Buck bites back a smile.
“This is all on you, you know that, right?” The words are harsh but there’s no weight behind them and Buck remembers the look on his friend's face from this morning in the kitchen, so he just laughs.
“He’s just excited. And so are you, I know you are.”
Just about then Ash lets out a dissatisfied meow from her carrier that Buck holds in his hand, and Eddie immediately kneels down, peeking inside.
“Yeah, I know. It’s no fun being stuck inside, huh? We’ll be home soon, sweetheart.”
Buck’s really happy he’s not in front of a mirror at the moment, because something tells him his face is doing something really embarrassing and dopey. The sight of Eddie talking to the kitten shouldn’t be as adorable as it is, and Buck really has to remind his heart that it’s quite a necessity for it to actually beat for him to stay alive. He quickly rearranges his face into a smirk while Eddie stands up and clears his throat.
“Naw.” He teases and Eddie glares at him.
“Shut up.” The man turns around and quickly marshes down the aisle in search of his son, who, without doubt, probably has filled the cart with all kinds of things he thinks is necessary for their new family member.
30 minutes later they’ve sorted out the cart and convinced Chris that no, the kitten does not need 3 different food bowls and 36 toys, and yes, the collar with place for her name and contact information for them are a good idéa, and no they will not pay 45 dollars for the plush toy, that probably is something Chris wants for himself more than Ash. Eventually they settled, paid and in the middle of packing up the truck with all of the bags. Chris and Ash are secured in the back seat and Eddie and Buck are currently trying to get the boxes into the back.
“Alright, I’ll jump up and you hand them over for me to stack.” Buck gets up on the truck bed and turns around. Just as he’s about to reach for the bags Eddie holds up, his gaze catches a movement a few cars over and he throws a look. He only catches the back of the man, the blond hair and the broad shoulders, but it’s enough for him to freeze up. His throat goes dry and he can’t tear his gaze away. The similarities are-. But it can’t be. Not here, there’s a lot of men with broad shoulders and sandy blond hair, they’re in LA for god's sake, he wouldn’t be-
“ Buck! ” Eddie’s voice cuts through and he blinks confused down at the man.
“What?” Eddie gives him a strange look.
“You alright? What were you looking at?”
“Um-” Buck looks back over but the man is gone, and he swallows the lump in his throat.
“Nothing. Just thought I saw someone.” He clears his throat and gestures with his hands at the bags. “Sorry, let’s get these up here and get going.”
The thought of the man lingers in his mind the rest of the afternoon, but as he wakes up the morning after it’s forgotten.
The sweat is trailing down his face and back and the heat from the fire goes through even his turnout coat. His muscles are burning after climbing the 4 flight of stairs 3 times and he would kill for a bottle of water at the moment. They responded to the fire 2 hours ago and it was out of control already when they arrived at the scene. The apartment building will only be a pile of ash and debris when it’s put out, but right now, they are working through one last sweep to make sure everyone is out.
“ Diaz, Buckley, what’s your status? ” Bobby’s voice cracks through the radio and Buck quickly presses down.
“Doing the last sweep on the fourth floor, cap. One more room and then it’s clear.”
“ Copy that. Diaz? ”
“ Same here, cap, on the third floor. ”
Buck feels a bit of relief at Eddie’s voice over the radio. He had no reason to think anything was wrong, but he’s always uneasy when they split up and the confirmation that everything is good is still calming.
He quickly sweeps through the last area before starting to head downstairs, just in time to see the dark figure of his friend come through the flames. He can barely see Eddie’s face through all the gear and smoke but the hand landing firmly on his shoulder is greeting enough. They make their way down another set of stairs, the building cracking and groaning around them, and Buck can easily imagine the fresh air outside and how good it will feel against his hot skin. He’s just in the middle of the fantasy of jumping into a cool pool or ocean when the sounds around them suddenly become a lot more worrying. After 6 years as a firefighter your ears kinda learn how to tune in on different sorts of sounds, and this sound? It’s not good. He comes to an abrupt stop, Eddie almost crashing into him from behind, and when he looks up he goes cold. It’s gonna cave. They’re about to get the whole fucking top floor on top of them.
Before he has a chance to react, strong hands are grabbing his coat, almost throwing him into the room to the left, and it makes both of them tumble down on the floor. Eddie manages to roll them over until they’re pressed against the wall under the window, with Eddie covering Buck’s body. But before Buck can even try to change their position the ceiling falls in with a loud crash, and all he can do is circle his arms around the man and hold on tight.
When the world settles around them Buck blinks his eyes open, he can barely see anything though, the smoke and the dust that are too thick in the air. But then he gets aware of the dead weight of Eddie on top of him and his breath gets stuck in his throat.
“Eddie?” He shuffles a bit, trying to get a grip about the situation.
“ Eddie ? Come on man, wake up.” He can hear the desperation in his own voice and he starts patting over the man with his hands, to see if he can feel any injuries. When he can’t feel anything immediate he tries to shake the man a bit.
“ Eddie! ” When he hears a soft groan and feels the man move he drops his head back towards the floor with a thud and lets out a relieved breath.
“Buck? You ok?” Eddie’s voice is muffled under his gear but Buck can still tell there’s a bit of worry in there.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. You good?”
“”Think so.” The man sits up with a groan. “We need to get out of here.” They stumble up on their feet, but they barely get upright when the man next to him starts tilting.
“Wow!” Buck quickly grabs Eddie around his waist and holds him up. “Thought you said you were ok!”
“Thought so. Head kinda hurts though.” Eddie leans back at the wall with closed eyes, and even behind the mask Buck can tell that the man is pale.
“Alright, alright. Let's get out of here so you can get checked out.” He turns around and takes another look at the room, a sinking feeling in his stomach. The entrance is completely blocked, the debris from the top floor covering the whole room and the fire is playing high around them. There’s no way they’re getting out that way. He turns back and steps up to the window, there’s no idea for them to jump, it's too high, they will break every bone in their bodies. But maybe the ladder will work, he reaches for the radio and prays it didn’t break in the fall.
“Cap?”
“ Buck? You guys alright? ” Buck lets out a relieved sigh at the immediate response.
“Got a bit stuck, ceiling caved in. Eddie probably got quite a hit in the head.” He throws another look at the man who’s still leaning against the wall. “Where on the south side, probably three windows up? Could use some help to get out.”
“ Got it. Where on the way, hang tight .”
Buck steps up to Eddie and puts his hand on his shoulder lightly to get his attention.
“They’re on the way, will be out soon, man.” Eddie just nods his head slowly but still doesn’t open his eyes before lifting his arm and letting his hand rest on Buck’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Buck regards him for a moment. He can distinguish a tight line between the man's eyebrows behind the mask, a telling sign that he’s in quite a lot of pain.
Buck removes his glove on his left hand and immediately feels the heat from the fire behind them on his skin. Eddie’s hand is still resting on Buck’s left shoulder, and he sneaks his hand in under the man's turnout, circling his wrist with his hand and soothingly rubs his thumb over the pulsepoint. He can see a small smile forming on Eddie’s lips as he feels Buck’s touch, and he hopes the man only thinks he is trying to comfort him.
Carefully, more than ever so, he lets the power come out and slowly tingle a trail through his arm and into Eddie. He holds his breath, keeping an close eye at Eddie’s features as he waits for the tense look on the man's face to fade a bit. He’s taking a risk, maybe too much of a risk, but he can’t stand seeing the man in pain. He’s trading carefully, and he works slowly, slower than he usually is, trying to conceal it with his hand's stroking pattern on the man's soft skin. And eventually Eddie blinks his eyes open, and in his eyes Buck can read tiredness, but not so much pain, and he stops. Not wanting to push it. He still keeps his hand on the man's wrist, the soothing motion calming him as well as Eddie as they wait for their rescue.
Chapter 4
Notes:
Alright guys, time to step it up a bit. Just wanted to give a heads up that things gets a bit intense in this chapter, with some angst and injuries.
Chapter Text
The bar is loud around them and Buck is just on the perfect level of buzzed. The day was intense with a complicated rope rescue up in a national park, but it all turned out good and he is still high on the adrenaline from it. He thanks the bartender as he gets their drinks and slowly works his way back towards the table, carefully not to spill from the glasses in his hands.
“Alright, beer for Eddie and Hen, wine for Maddie and Karen, Soda for Chim and Cap.” He happily announces as he puts everything out on the table before sitting down in the booth, grabbing his own beer and takes a sip. Eddie’s next to him and he can feel the heat radiating from the man from how close they are sitting, it’s familiar and comforting and Buck sighs happily and relaxes back against the seat.
“Well, cheers, guys!” Chim raises his soda and clink their glasses together. “Was hell of a rescue today, and especially you, Buckaroo. I’ll admit, I was impressed.” Buck feels his cheeks heat up at Chim’s praise, it’s not often the man gives compliments like that, so it means a lot when he actually does.
“Um, thanks Chim.”
Eddie smiles over at Buck and puts his hand on his leg under the table, squeezing it lightly before leaving his hand there, just resting comfortably. And Buck feels the blush on his cheeks deepen.
“You all did great today.” Bobby tabs in with a proud smile on his lips. They raise their glasses for another cheer before everyone starts up conversation. Buck has a little bit of trouble focusing on what is said though, his mind is all on Eddie next to him, who’s currently in the middle of talking with Karen while absently moving his thumb over Buck’s thigh. Is he even aware that he’s doing it? The touch feels intimate and it’s something they usually don’t do, and he sort of really wants to take the man's hand, to intertwine their fingers and just hold it.
“Buck?” He snaps up at Maddie’s voice and blinks at her.
“Hmm?”
“You alright? You’re sort of quiet.” His sister raises an eyebrow at him and he clears his throat.
“Yeah, no I’m fine.” He takes a sip of his beer. “How’s Jee? Miss the little lady.”
“She’s good. She misses her uncle as well.” Maddie's smile softens at the mention of her daughter. “And speaking of, are you free on Sunday by any chance? We’re going to another house showing, could use some help babysitting if you’re up for it?”
“Oh, I promised Chris I’ll help him with his project. And to make cookies for the bakesale on monday. Since this one refuses to do it.” He jabs his elbow lightly into Eddie’s ribs and gets an affronted huff in response.
“I just don’t get why they need to be homemade. I’m pretty sure at least 60% of all the parents just buy store-made and put them in a different container.” The man mutters with a pout.
“Eddie! You can’t buy store made cookies at a bake sale. It’s just- no!” Buck groans.
“Yeah, yeah. So you say. And that’s why you’ll be in my kitchen on Sunday and make them.” Eddie smirks at him before turning to Maddie. “Jee is welcome to come to ours, though. I can keep an eye on her while Buck’s busy.”
“Oh, that would be great! Sure you don’t mind?”
“No, of course not. Will be fun. Let me out, need to head to the bathroom.” Eddie pokes at him to move and Buck slides out of the booth, letting the man out and following him with his gaze as he works his way through the room. When he looks back Maddie is smirking at him with an amused look in her eyes.
“What?”
“Science projects and baking? Sounds… domestic.”
“Well, yeah. You heard the man, he was gonna buy storage made cookies, Mads! I can’t let Chris go through that, he’ll be traumatized!”
“I’m sure it would’ve been fine.” Maddie deadpans. “I don’t think he’s wrong about parents just putting them in containers to make them look homebaked.”
“Well, as long as I’m around Chris will never have to live with that embarrassment.” He states before taking a sip of his beer. And the thing is, maybe he used the baking as a reason to spend some more time over at the house. He knows he doesn’t actually need one to hang out with Chris and Eddie, but sometimes it’s nice to just feel like you're helping out.
He slides further into the booth and leaves room when Eddie comes back and they quickly get engaged into a discussion about who’s gonna win this year's season of top chef.
“..and then Buck was stuck.” Maddie finishes the washing machine-story from their youth and the table all starts laughing. Buck can’t hold in the small chuckle himself but then he looks over at Eddie, and his heart makes its now familiar flip. The man has his head tilted forward, laughing softly with a happy and relaxed look on his face with the strands of hair falling down on his forehead. His cheeks are rosy from the alcohol and warmth in the bar and Buck’s mind helpfully provides him with the word to describe him, beautiful .
He’s pulled out of his thoughts by a man stepping up their table, looking around them nervously before settling his eyes on Eddie.
“Eh Hi.”
“Hi there.” Eddie smiles kindly at him.
“Um, I’m sorry if I’m too forward, but I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?” Buck notices a blush on the man’s face and he’s honestly a bit impressed by him, it takes quite a courage to walk up to a booth of people and ask one of them like this. But at the same time he gets a sour taste in his mouth and he holds his breath while he waits for Eddie’s response, trying hard to keep his features neutral.
“Oh!” Eddie exclaims and gets an apologetic look on his face. “Um- I’m flattered, really, but um-” He throws a look over at Buck as he shuffles a bit closer to him, almost so that he’s tucked in underneath Buck’s arm that’s resting on the back of the booth seat. And maybe it’s the alcohol, or the will to help his friend out of the situation, or something else, but it just feels so natural to let his arm slip down from the seat and down on Eddie’s shoulder instead, effectively pressing the man closer to him. He gives a crooked smile to the man standing in front of them, and has to press down the urge to glare at him, but it seems to be enough because the man gets an understanding look in his eyes and nods quickly as he starts backing away.
“Sorry, my mistake. You guys have a great evening.” And before they get a chance to respond the man is gone.
Buck looks over at their friends that are watching them with a variation of facial expressions that he can’t quite read, and he tenses up and clears his throat, getting ready to remove his arm. But then Eddie just shifts in his seat to make himself more comfortable against his side and leans into him. The man seems perfectly content with their current position as he takes another sip of his beer and starts up conversation with Chim, a solid frame next to Buck.
Buck just watches him for a moment, unsure what he's supposed to do here. But the feeling of Eddie pressed against him is addictive, and he really doesn’t wanna move, so he tries to relax into his seat. He lets his hand rest lightly on Eddie’s top arm, and his finger starts drawing patterns over the bare skin sticking out from under the t-shirt on top of the man’s bicep. If it weren't for the fact that he had a close eye on the man he probably would’ve missed the small smile on his lips and the way his skin prickles under his touch. But he does look, and the affection he's been feeling for his friend spreads in his chest, making him feel wrapped up into a warm and fluffy blanket, and it stays with him for the rest of the night.
Buck leans back into the chair in the shadow, away from the gazing sun while happily watching Jee playing in the grass, and he can’t stop smiling at the sight of his niece. He hears the patio door to the house open and soon enough Eddie sits down next to him, handing him a glass of something with a concerning blue color, the cold liquid making the glass damp and he looks at it suspiciously.
“What is it?”
“What, you don’t trust me?” He throws a glance at Eddie, seeing a big smirk on the man’s face.
“Well, I don’t know. Kinda feel like I need to think back if I’ve done something lately that would be grounds for you wanting to poison me.” He lifts the glass in front of his face, squinting his eyes at it before sniffing carefully to see if it will give him any clues. Eddie raises an eyebrow at him and gives him a look.
“Have you?”
“No. I don’t think.” Eddie chuckles while he settles down in his chair.
“It’s powerade you big baby, thought you could need some energy after all the work you’ve done today.”
The day has been quite a lot of work, he picked Jee up in the morning and headed over to the Diaz’s. Eddie had kept his promise to watch Jee while Buck helped Chris with his project and made cookies, and that was something Buck in hindsight realized wasn’t a great idéa. The sight of Eddie playing with Jee and Ash had made it quite hard to concentrate and Chris had eventually kicked him under the table to get his attention. He’s kind of grateful that the kids were around today though. He hadn’t seen Eddie since friday night at the bar, and he felt like something shifted then, that something tipped their friendship towards something else, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to deal with that quite yet. So the kids were a great distraction and thankfully Eddie acted no different then usual, just being his best friend.
“Hey boys.” They turn their heads at the sound and Buck smiles at Maddie who’s coming over and leaning over his shoulder, giving him a hug from behind, while waving hello to Eddie. “How did it go?”
“She’s been a perfect angel. Buck might have used her as a testsubject for the cookies, though. So she might crash from the sugar high in a bit.”
“Hey!” Buck hisses betrayed. “She did not need to know that.” Eddie smirks next to him and he pushes his elbow into the man’s ribs, making him huff. Maddie just raises an eyebrow at them before heading over to her daughter and picking her up, Jee happily babbling in her toddler language as she shows her mother her new friends Cone and Rock that she apparently found in the yard.
“Thanks for taking her anyway, and thank you for keeping an eye at them for me, Eddie.” Maddie winks at the man who smirks at Buck’s second offended ‘ Hey! ’
“Anytime, Maddie. The genes obviously skipped one Buckley.” The man throws a teasing look at Buck who discretely flips him off, before turning back to the kid. “But you have the cutest of them all here.” He grabs Jee’s hand and she happily shakes his fingers while she laughs, making the adults look at her with sappy expressions all of them.
Suddenly they hear the sound of screeching tires and a yelp from in front of the house and they all tense up, staring towards the sound, before they’re at their feet and running towards the road in front of the house.
They quickly run around the house and Buck grabs the harsh surface of the house’s corner to keep his feet on track at high speed. When he comes around the corner he suddenly feels like everything around him is slowing down, turning into slow motion, and his body feels like he’s in quicksand. The air punches out of his lungs and he feels like the ground pulls out from underneath his feet, his eyes zooming into the sight in front of him and the rest of the world disappears into static. He comes to a stumbling stop, staring down at the scene in front of him with his blood pulsing in his ears. It’s like his heart has slowed down to only be beating one beat a minute, too slow to make sense, and the sound of every heartbeat is like thunder in his ears, obliterating any other sound.
In the corner of his eye he sees Eddie run past him, knocking into Buck’s shoulder and jostling him, but he barely notices. The man's movements look so slow and still he moves so fast, crossing the lawn and onto the pavement. Maddie is standing in front of him, he can see that she talks, and her eyes are spread wide in fear. She holds Jee close to her chest and the small girl is crying. Is she screaming? Buck can’t tell.
His gaze is stuck on the road and on the small body lying there. The glasses that are thrown to the side. The arm twisted in the wrong way. The blood that is starting to spread out on the ground. And Eddie, kneeling on the pavement with his hands hovering over the still form as his face is twisted in panic, seemingly to be yelling something at them. Buck couldn’t tell what he’s saying either. All he can do is stare.
Stare at Chris’s to still form in the middle of the road.
“..road. We didn’t see what happened. It sounded like a car.” Suddenly all the sounds come back and Buck almost stumbles by the force of it. Maddie’s hurried voice as she talks to the dispatcher. Eddie´s desperate cries as he hovers over Chris’s still body.
And Buck can move again.
He races down to the street, sliding up on the other side of Chris’s body. He rips his jeans by the force he throws himself down on the ground but he barely even notices.
“No, no, no- Chris, come on, baby, open those eyes for me.” Eddie’s voice is just a broken whisper as he carefully drags his hand over the boy's curls, his medical training in his spine and not disturbing his position even a millimeter. Chris is pale, dangerously so, and his breath is ragging, a wet sound coming from it. His left arm is without a doubt broken, his ankle looks twisted and he has scratches over his face and arm where the shirt is torn. Buck doesn’t see a car, doesn’t see anyone else nearby, and he has to press that knowledge away for now, the boy in front of him a priority.
He tries to take a calming breath, to press down the panic that he feels trying to claw its way out of his chest. He looks over at his friend, Eddie’s pale, his hands shaking as he gently brushes through the thick curls on his son’s head and Buck knows he won’t survive this. If Chris doesn’t make it, Eddie won’t ever make it through. And honestly, neither will Buck.
He looks back down on the boy, the precious, wonderful boy, so full of love and light and life, he’s not supposed to lie here like this. It’s wrong in a way that it tips the world balance.
Buck takes a deep breath, steadying himself for what he’s about to do. He knows the risk, but if there’s anyone he’s willing to risk it for, it’s for the boy in front of him.
He carefully pulls up Chris’s shirt so that he can put his hand on his chest, directly over the boy's heart.
“Buck, wait, what are you-” Eddie’s voice is hoarse but Buck can’t look at him right now, not if he wants this to work. His other hand he puts on the boy's cheek, the scratches raw under his palm and blood smearing over his skin, and it makes tears burn behind his eyelids.
“Come on, buddy, hang in there.”
He takes another deep breath and closes his eyes.
He reaches deep within him, deeper than he ever has before, and he feels it. The pulsing inside him, hidden deep in his core. He pushes and probes at it, making it move, spread, reaching deeper again, to pull out even more, he’s gonna need all of it. So he digs, until he has nothing left, just a strong, pulsing sensation inside his chest. The usually tingling sensation is exchanged into jolts of power, surging through his veins as it looks for an outlet. Somewhere to go, somewhere to unleash all of what it is capable of. Stronger and more intense than he ever felt it before.
In the distance he hears voices but he can’t tell what they’re saying, focusing completely on meshing the jolts inside him, to bind them together and make them move as he directs them.
Then there’s a hand on his shoulder and Maddie’s desperate voice in his ear.
“Evan, you have to stop, it’s too much. It’s going to kill you!”
He shakes off the hand, he doesn’t care.
Chris.
Christopher is all that matters.
He squints his eyes even tighter together, a gasp leaving him when his chest starts to burn, the energy inside trying to simmer out of its own. He pulls together the last strength he has, and he focuses, pressing it from his chest, sensing it traveling in sparkling jolts down his arms and out through his hands. It goes on, and on, and on. It could be seconds, or minutes or days. But eventually it’s all out.
He’s completely drained, not able to open his eyes, not able to ground himself or fight the darkness that creeps in, covering his mind and body.
When his body hits the pavement, he’s already dead to the world.
Chapter Text
The void around him is confusing.
It’s not dark and it’s not light, there’s no color but it’s not black and white either. Shapes are moving around with soft edges, floating, never to close but still not far away.
Sometimes it becomes more clear. He can hear the soft sound of whispered voices in the distance, but never clear enough for him to hear the words.
Then he falls back into the nothingness again, the voices fading away.
His mind is adrift, moving around without goal, trying to put itself together.
He comes back up to the surface again.
Feeling a thin hand comb through his hair with soothing motions. It’s calming and his mind drifts off again.
His eyes blinks open. Nothing is clear, just soft shapes around him in the dim light.
A shadow moves next to him, hesitantly, careful. But he can’t focus and within seconds his eyes are closed again.
The first thing he notices is that it’s cold, the thin blanket on top of him doing little to keep him warm.
Next he hears the telling sound of beeping machines, revealing that he is, yet again, in the hospital.
He blinks his eyes open and squints lightly at the light next to his bed, averting his gaze from it and looks to his side. The rest of the room is dim, the dark sky outside the window tells him it’s night. He tries to swallow but his throat is dry enough that he feels like his tongue is just a big patch of cotton in his mouth and he grimaces at the feeling. He looks around for some water and sighs gratefully at the sight of the carafe on the bedside table. He winces a little as he moves his arm to grab it, the muscles sore. It kinda feels like he did a hell of a workout that covered every single muscle in his body, and he stretches his arm carefully, trying to relax the muscles.
“Oh my god, Evan! ” He startles at the voice and looks over towards the door. Maddie’s staring at him with wide eyes that start filling with tears and she lets out a small sob, before stumbling into his room and throws her arms around his neck. He pats her gently on the back before pushing her back carefully.
“Chris?” His voice is barely a hoarse whisper, the words difficult to get out through his dry mouth, but he needs to know and he stares at his sister with pleading eyes, desperate for her to tell him. Maddie quickly dries her cheeks and moves over to pull up some water.
“He’s ok. He’s at home. It doesn’t seem like he remembers anything at all from what happened.” Buck closes his eyes as relief rushes through him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to do it. Wasn’t sure he was strong enough. Maddie nudges at him and when he looks at her she holds up the glass of water, offering him the straw and he gratefully accepts it, the cold water like silk against his raw throat.
“Careful, not too much at once.” She removes the glass again and he doesn’t wince in complaint, but it’s not far from it. He’s still really thirsty and he licks his lips, but it feels better than before. He relaxes back against the pillows and finally meets Maddie’s eyes, and sees the storm of emotions in them.
“What happened?” His whisper is low in the room and Maddie bites her lip and looks away, a tight expression on her face before she looks back at him.
“You died, Evan.” Her eyes start pooling with tears again and he can tell that she tries really hard to keep them at bay. And the thing is, he kind of had the feeling he had left his life for a moment there, he couldn’t explain how, but the words don’t surprise him. And he had been ready for it, if it was between him or Chris, it would never be a choice.
“Christopher was really badly hurt. We can’t be sure, but Eddie’s pretty positive that he had internal bleeding and a punctured lung, along with broken bones and a big head wound.” Buck pales at the description and he feels his pulse speed up, his mind flashes by with pictures of the boy lying on the road, and the fear he felt at that moment. Maddie lets out a shaky breath before she continues.
“We haven't found the car that hit him, but it must have been at pretty high speed considering the injuries. And since Chris doesn’t have a single scratch on him we can’t really call the police, so I’ve been trying to go through the cameras at dispatch. But we got nothing so far.” Her lips are pressing tight together and he can tell she’s frustrated about it all. He feels the anger simmer in him as well at the thought of the one responsible getting away.
“You- um.” She blinks back a few tears and clears her throat again.
“You tried to help him, in the way you can do, but I’ve never seen you do it like that, Buck. It was like you weren't even with us anymore, we couldn’t get any contact with you. And then-” She trails off and bites her lip, looking at him uncertainly.
“Then what?” He doesn’t like the look on her face and he’s almost afraid of what she’s about to say.
“You- your hands. They, um, they started glowing.” She whispers, throwing careful glances against the open door, and he just stares at her. He can’t have heard that right.
“C-come again?”
“Your palms, they started to glow while you held them on Christopher. Not like shining, but a dim, pulsing light, like it was pushing itself out from you and into him.”
He doesn’t know what to say so he just keeps on staring at her dumbfounded. Glowing ? What the hell is she talking about? He looks down and inspects his hands, turning them over and back and forward, trying to see if they’re different. But he can’t see anything irregular, they look just as they always have.
“Has that ever happened before?”
He just shakes his head and rubs his face, not sure what to think.
“No. Never.” Then a thought enters his mind and he freezes up, snapping his eyes up at Maddie who looks at him startled.
“ Eddie . Oh my good, Maddie- He must have seen- How-” When Maddie looks down at her hands clasped in her knee he gets a heavy feeling in his chest.
“Maddie?” He doesn’t dare ask the question out loud, doesn’t know if he’ll be able to hear the answer. She closes her eyes for a moment before looking back up at him, a sympathetic look in her eyes. And he feels how his heart goes into tiny pieces, the look enough to tell him everything he was afraid of.
“Chris woke up pretty much immediately, it was like it never happened at all, all of his injuries were gone and it was like he just woke up from a nap. But you went down, after your hands stopped glowing you just fell down on the street, and you weren't breathing, Buck. Eddie- he started doing CPR immediately, he didn’t stop for even a second, just kept working on you until the ambulance arrived.” She leans forward and takes his hand in hers, rubbing them soothingly.
“He’s been sitting here every chance he got, Buck. I need you to know that, and to remember that. He didn’t leave you.” He swallows as he feels tears burning behind his eyelids. He knows there’s a ‘but’ coming.
“How long was I out?” He knows it’s no point, but he still tries to prolong the inevitable, the sentence that will completely break him.
“6 days. Eddie got your heart beating again just before the ambulance showed up. And they’ve been doing so many tests, but they didn’t get anything from it. For all intents and purposes, you were and are totally fine. The doctors couldn’t tell us why you wouldn’t wake up. Of course we couldn’t really tell them about the real reason you passed out in the first place, so they did work a bit blind through it all, but I had faith, you just needed some time.” She smiles at him, love shining through her eyes, and he can’t stop the small smile in response. But it falls off just as quick.
“Does he hate me?”
“No. I don’t think that man is capable of hating you, Buck.”
“But?” The pain in his chest is consuming him and he barely manages to choke out the word.
“He’s- confused.” Maddie says carefully. “It was a lot happening at the same time Buck, he was desperately worried about Chris, and then about you. And the whole situation was so intense and out of control. He just- Don’t give up hope, ok? He’ll come around. I know he will. You’re too important to him.”
Maddie stayed for another couple of hours and the doctors took some more tests as well as asked him a bunch of questions. He didn’t really have any answers for them and he could tell that they were quite confused about the whole ordeal. Eventually they left and he fell into a restless sleep, exhausted into his bones. During the day he gets a bunch of visitors, Maddie comes back and this time with Jee and Chim, and he is happy to have his niece as a distraction from his sister's worried glances.
Bobby, Athena and Hen come by in the afternoon and Hen asks him a bunch of medical questions that he tries to avert as much as he can. And also because he doesn’t actually have any answers for her, he truly doesn’t know much more than the doctors. Eventually she gives up but still sends him worried looks during the rest of their stay.
Around 6PM he hears the sounds of crutches outside his door and he holds his breath in anticipation, and when Chris and Carla steps into his room he almost rips out his IV in his hurry to embrace the kid. Holding him tight against his chest as he buries his face in the boy’s soft curls. Maddie had told him he was fine, but it’s not the same as seeing it with his own eyes.
And the thing is, he had been terrified that Eddie wouldn’t let him see him, that he would keep Chris away from him. He doesn’t think the man would be cruel about it, but right now he doesn’t know what to expect. Losing Eddie would break his heart, but losing both of them would be a blow he wouldn’t be sure how to get back from.
As the night falls he struggles to get to sleep, his mind spiraling about the one fact he does know.
Eddie didn’t show.
He’s been awake for about an hour the next morning when he hears something outside the door, he glances up and sees the shadow lurking, moving restlessly against the floor visible through the door that's ajar. He sighs and presses his fingers against his eyes, tears burning behind his eyelids. He doesn’t regret it. How could he? But this hurts, it hurts so freaking much, and he’s terrified it changed everything. Eventually he opens his eyes and looks over at the door again. He’s still there.
“You ever gonna come inside?” Buck doesn’t raise his voice, just asks it quietly. But it’s enough, the shadow stills for a moment before a hand slowly pushes the door open and Eddie carefully steps inside, leaning against the wall next to the door with an unreadable look on his face.
The two men watch each other in silence from each side of the room, a distance between them that’s never been there before, and it makes Buck’s stomach clench hurtfully. Eddie’s eyes are reserved and he holds his arms around his abdomen, tense and wary.
Buck can’t handle looking into the foreign gaze anymore, so he looks away. Down on his hands that fiddles with the blanket on his knees while blinking intensely to keep the tears from falling.
“You ok?” Buck almost startles at the man's quiet question, the air so tense that he almost feels like creeping out of his own skin.
“Yeah.” He swallows to try to dampen his dry throat. “H-how’s Chris?” There’s only silence and for a moment he almost thinks Eddie left, but he doesn’t dare to look up.
“He’s fine.” Eddie’s voice is hoarse.”Buck, I-” When he looks up Eddie has a pained expression on his face, a frown on his face as he looks at him.
“I don’t understand what happened. I-” The man takes a shaky breath and looks down at the floor. “One moment he was lying there and the next he was fine. Your palms were glowing , Buck! That’s not- It’s not supposed to-” Eddie runs his hands through his hair, messing it up as he looks at Buck with wide eyes. “Then you were dead. You were fucking dead on the street. And then you weren't- and I can’t-”
“Eddie-”
“This is a lot, man. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t-” Buck looks in devastation as Eddie takes a step back, and he tries to sit up straighter in the bed, inconsiderate of the IV:s and and monitors that he's attached to.
“Eds, please , just let me explain.” The man shakes his head and drags his hands over his face, clearly distressed and Buck longs for him to come closer, to be able to grab his hand and comfort him.
“Maddie already did.” He sighs and drops his arms, it looks like all energy is leaving his body and his shoulders sinks down. “You’re my best friend.” The soft whisper echoes in the room, and the man swallows before hesitating for a second.
“I’m not proud of this, and I am really, really sorry, Buck. But I’m gonna need a minute.”
And Buck knows when he meets the man’s eyes that there is nothing he can say. Nothing that can convince him to stay without pushing him further away. So he just nods, looking towards the window and out on the blue sky. It looks like a beautiful day, the green leaves sways on the trees and the sun creates shadows on the ground. If it was any other day he probably would’ve tried to convince Eddie and Chris to go to the beach, maybe go get an ice cream.
But at the moment he just feels empty.
“I’m sorry.” Eddie’s low voice is genuine, apologetic and deep with the pain of knowing the hurt he causes. And Buck can’t be angry or upset with him, not when he sounds so broken and hurt and confused. Eddie steps out of the room but stops and looks back at him. “Thank you, for saving him.” He turns and walks away, and while listening to his friends descending footsteps as they disappear down the hallway, Buck lets the tears fall.
Chapter Text
He gets to go home later that day. Since the doctors can’t find anything wrong with him and every test comes back normal, they don’t really have any reason to keep him. And he really wants to get out of there, lying in the hospital bed gives him way too much time to think, something he doesn’t want to do at the moment.
He realizes that his car probably is still in Eddie’s driveway, so he takes an uber home. He’ll have to ask Maddie to help him bring it back later. The fact that he can’t just head over and get it makes his stomach clench. The Diaz’s house has always been a place of comfort and warmth and love. Home. He swallows the lump in his throat as he thanks the driver and gets out of the car on the curb in front of his building. He looks up at it where it towers up over him. He does like his loft, it’s his first own place and he likes the layout and the fact that the balcony is just far enough up to cancel out some of the city noise.
But right now he dreads going upstairs and into the quietness and loneliness that comes with living alone. He turns around and starts walking down the street, maybe a bit of a walk to stretch his legs will help.
Somehow his legs decided to take a detour, and 2,5 hours later he’s standing in front of a familiar door, blinking tiredly at it. He wasn’t even aware that he had walked this far, he had just put one foot in front of another and been lost in thoughts. But his subconscious apparently had other idéas.
He hesitates before ringing the doorbell, it’s getting kinda late. But he’s also tired and hungry and still not wanting to go back to his own empty apartment, so he rings the bell. He doesn’t have to wait long for the door to open and Bobby looks at him with concern.
“Buck?” The man trails his gaze over him before meeting his eyes again, a slight furrow between his eyebrows. “Come on in. What are you doing here? Are you alright?”
“I-” To Buck’s embarrassment his eyes start pooling and a sob rips through him, the events of the last couple of days getting to him. Bobby reaches for him in alarm.
“Evan, please come inside.” The man pulls him in carefully by his arm and closes the door behind them, leading him down the stairs and into the living room.
“I-I’m sorry.” Buck tries to collect himself as best as he can, but no matter how much he try to dry his tears away, there just seems to come new ones. “I-I didn’t m-mean to barge i-in like this.” He sits down on the couch and leans forward on his knees, bending his head down and rubs his face in an attempt to hide his blotched face. He feels the couch dip next to him before a hand moves over his back in soothing motions.
“Buck, it’s fine. You can always come here, but you need to talk to me. What’s happened? Are you in any pain, do I need to call someone?” He can hear the worry in his captain's voice and he immediately feels bad, he doesn’t even know why he’s here.
“No, no I-I’m alright.” He tries once again to dry his face with the arm of his hoodie and thankfully feels the tears finally stop. He takes a shaky breath and straightens up a bit, sniffing a little at his stuffy nose. He feels kind of gross, both from the crying but also from being in the hospital for days and then the long walk. He really hopes he doesn’t smell as bad as he can imagine he would.
Bobby puts his hand on his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly and pushes at it slightly in a try to face him. And when Buck looks over he kinda just want to cry again. The man looks so safe and earnest while he watches Buck with calm, caring eyes and he wishes he could ask for a hug.
“I didn’t know you got discharged. Did they figure out what made you unconscious?”
Maddie had told him that she and Eddie never told the others quite how bad everything got, just that he had a seizure and fell down while being at Eddie’s.
“Um no, not really. But all the tests came back fine so.” He looks over at his captain. “I’m fine, I promise. I just need a couple of days to rest up and then I´m fit for work.” Bobby frowns slightly at this and for a moment Buck’s afraid he’s gonna refuse. But then he nods and he relaxes a bit.
“Alright, take as many days as you need, and let me know when you want back on the roster.”
“Thanks.”
“Now, what made you show up at my doorstep at 10 pm in tears?” Buck feels his cheeks heat up, that's not a very professional thing to do at your boss's house. But Bobby´s never really been only his boss either though, and right now he kinda needs his advice. As he starts to think back to the events that led up to it all he feels his eyes starting to burn again and the familiar clench in his stomach.
“I messed up.” Bobby tilts his head and gives him a pensive look.
“Ok. Messed up how?”
“Eddie´s not speaking to me.” At this Bobby’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, clearly not expecting that.
“And why's that?”
“I withhold something from him. Something big. And then he found out.” He swallows the lump forming in his throat, the image of Eddie walking out of the hospital room still clear in his mind. “And I can’t blame him for being upset, it was kind of a big deal and he got quite a shock. But I don´t know- ” He rubs his face harshly. “I don’t know how to fix it.” Bobby looks at him for a moment, pursing his lips.
“This thing that you didn’t tell him, was it something bad?”
“No, not really. At least I don’t think so, I don’t consider it anything bad. He might think differently though. He might never look at me the same again.” The thought is heavy in his heart, he doesn’t want it to be a possible outcome of this whole mess, but he also knows it’s a chance it will be.
“He-” Bobby trails off with narrowed eyes. “Has he done, or said, anything that I need to bring to HR?”
Buck stills, staring at the man. HR? Why would Bobby need to talk to HR? He thinks back to what he said, and oh - Yeah, ok, he can see how that would sound in another context. He quickly shakes his head.
“No, no it’s nothing like that. I promise.”
Bobby hums quietly before he gives him a small smile.
“Then it’s gonna be ok.” Bobby sounds so sure that Buck just stares at him for a moment.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’ve watched you two almost every day for the last few years, you might butt heads from time to time, but the foundation you’ve built together is strong enough to manage pretty much everything. If he’s upset he probably just needs some time, have faith in what you two have, Buck. It will work itself out.” There’s not even a hint of doubt in the man's voice and somehow it calms Buck’s heart as well.
“You know what, Athena is working until morning and I was gonna watch the late game. Why don’t you stay in the guestroom tonight? I’ll make up something to eat and you can settle in and relax for a bit, yeah?”
“I would love that, thanks cap.”
“Always, kid.”
The next few days he tries to stay busy. He spends some time over at Maddie and Chim’s place as well as Bobby’s. Carla brings Chris over a couple of times and he’s happy that the kid is alright, he really doesn’t seem to remember anything from the accident.
He sleeps a lot, his body seems to need it, but the dreams are making him restless, and more often than not, he wakes up in tangled sheets and a thin layer of sweat over his skin.
He takes a week off from work, and on the night before he’s supposed to go back, there’s a soft knock on his door.
He frowns at the door and looks at the clock, it’s almost 9 pm. He was just gonna finish the episode of the series he’s been watching before going to bed, wanting to be as well rested as possible for being back on shift. He stands up from the couch and walks over to the door, unlocking it and opens it.
Eddie´s on the other side, anxiously biting the fingernail of his right hand, while his eyes snap up towards Buck as he opens the door. The man freezes for a second before quickly dropping his hand and rubs his palms over his jeans.
“Hi.”
Eddie’s voice is soft, a low volume in the empty hallway, and it embraces Buck like a blanket.
God, he missed it. Missed him.
He takes a step back, letting the man in without a word, before closing the door silently behind him. Eddie takes a few steps further into the loft before turning around at Buck, silently watching him. Buck takes in the sight the man, he´s dressed in jeans and a green henley, hair messy, like he's been running his fingers through his hair a lot and stubble are shadowing his jaw. It's painfully familiar and his heart thuds hard in his chest.
“What are you doing here, Eddie?” Buck eventually asks quietly. The man gives no clues about what he's here for and it makes Buck’s nerves twitch.
“Heard you're back at work tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Is that a problem?” He doesn’t mean to use the icy tone, and he notices that Eddie flinches, but he’s been through his own personal hell these last few days and he’s sick of playing nice.
“No! No, of course not. I was just-” Eddie fiddles with his car keys still in his hand. “Listen, you have every right to be pissed at me, but can we talk?”
Buck's mind reels a little at the man's word. He's been sad, upset, worried, hurt. Scared. But angry? He didn’t think he was angry at him. But as Eddie voices it he realizes that, yes, he has been angry. And now when he's getting aware of it, he feels how it starts to simmer under his skin, impossible to ignore, and he needs to bite back the harsh response.
His face must do something though, because Eddie takes a step towards him and raises his hand before aborting the motion, a hesitant look in his face.
“Buck, please.”
And Buck has never been able to say no to Eddie, so he nods and sits down at the kitchen table. Eddie watches him for a moment before following his example, sitting down across from him. The silence is awkward between them until Eddie clears his throat.
“I um- I don’t know where to start.” The man rubs his forehead with a hand before he puts his hand down on the table, suddenly getting a determined look in his eyes. “Or actually, I do. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Buck lets out an humorless laugh and just stares at the man.
“You're kidding, right?” He asks with disbelief. “You got so freaked out that you ran away, Eddie! You couldn’t handle it, and you’re asking me why I didn’t tell you?”
“That’s not fair, you can’t expect me to not react when everything I know to be true, apparently aren't! These kinds of things aren’t supposed to exist!” An angry blush starts to color the man’s cheeks as he barrels on. “I don’t believe in jinxes, or magic, or the supernatural. And then I got it thrown right in my face. By my best friend non the less, who apparently had this huge secret that he didn’t tell me-”
“Not fair?” Buck interrupts and narrows his eyes at him. “You mean like it's not fair that I spent a week unconscious in the hospital for doing anything in my power to make sure Christopher was alright? Not fair in the way that my best friend hasn’t been talking to me for a week?” He emphasizes the words ‘ best friend ’, suddenly furious that the man throws it in his face like that. “And I would do it ten times over, because it’s Chris. Of course I would. But I thought we had each other's backs, Eddie.”
Eddie flinches before leaning forward, arms resting on the table between them.
“And we do , of course we do. But you can’t blame me for needing some time to adjust, Buck! To adjust to the fact that you’re-”
The man trails off and runs his hands through his hair in frustration and Buck’s mind spirals back, back to another conversation.
‘ You’re fucking freak! ’
His eyes harden and his jaw clenches at the memory.
"I'm
what
, Eddie? A freak?”
Eddie’s eyes snap up at him with a pale face and sharp eyes.
“Do not put words in my mouth, Buck. I never said that! I never even thought it, I just-”
Eddie closes his eyes, pinching them with his fingers before letting out a deep sigh.
“I didn’t come here to fight. I get that you’re upset with me, man, I do. I didn’t handle this very well. But I’d like to understand, if you let me.” He meets Buck’s gaze with pleading eyes. “You’re important to me, and I’m so sorry I ran. And don’t believe for a minute that I’m not deeply grateful for what you did. If I would’ve lost him, I-” He stutters and needs to visibly collect himself before continuing. “It wasn’t about you specifically, or what you can do, not really. It was the bigger picture of it all. It was a shock. But I am sorry I hurt you, truly.”
Buck lets out a deep sigh, he hates fighting with Eddie. And he can understand where he comes from. The man has been hellbent stubborn, during the whole time he known him, that the supernatural doesn’t exist. Eddie’s a pretty simple man, he believes in what he can see and understand, and t he laws of physics. So he does get that this was something that turned his world on its axis. But it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a bitch when he turned his back.
Buck feels the anger subside as he rubs his eyes tiredly while they sit quiet for a couple of minutes.
“Ca-Can I ask you some questions?” Eddie’s voice is tentative, careful, like he’s not sure how Buck will react. But know when the secrets out, he does want Eddie to know. So he nods and gestures for the man to continue and Eddie straightens up in his chair.
“Ehm. H-How long have you-?”
“As long as I can remember. Didn’t really have it under control when I grew up though, so it took some time to learn how to manage it. But yeah, I guess it has always been a part of me.” Eddie nods and bites his lips.
“How does it work?”
“That’s a tricky one. I tried to read up on it, to find out if there were anyone else like me out there somewhere. But if it is, they’re hiding, I never found anything and eventually I gave up. So all I know is kinda what I learned along the way.” He clears his throat and gets up, heading over to the fridge and grabs a couple of beers before returning to the table, handing one over to Eddie. After a few sips he continues.
“I think it’s based on my compassion? The stronger feelings I have for someone the easier it is to help them, it doesn’t take quite as much effort as when it is a stranger. Children and animals are also easier, probably because I can’t stand to watch them hurt. I don’t- I don’t know how it actually works, like the physics of it, but I need to be skin to skin, and then there’s this tingling warmth inside me that sorta transfers over towards the other being? It’s kinda hard to explain. But imagine you have a pulsing core deep inside your chest? Usually it just lies there, dormant. But when I need it it’s like strings pulling out from it, and depending on the injury I sometimes need the strings to be stronger. I can control if I want to reduce someone's pain or heal their injuries. And when it’s something small I usually just feel it in my arm, but when it’s something bigger? Like with Chris? Then I had to get it all out, and it kinda consumed my whole body. Never done that before, though.” He takes another sip of his beer. “It doesn’t work on me, guess it’s hard to have compassion for yourself? And it only works on recent injuries, not old ones, and not any illnesses. I doubt I would’ve been able to heal someone badly hurt that I had no connection to as well. Never tried though. But like I said, it's just a guess. Not a lot of information out there on the subject.”
Eddie hums and picks at the label of the bottle with his fingernail.
“I know I didn’t react well, but my question from before stands.” He looks up and meets Buck’s eyes, and now he can tell that there's hurt hidden deep down in them.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
Buck hesitates, not sure how much to tell him. But since they’re talking he might as well let it all out.
“With you, there’s 5 people on the planet that know about this. At least that I’m aware of. I don’t know if they’ve told anyone, but who would believe them anyway, right?” He feels a bit restless so he stands up and walks over to the kitchen island, leaning his back against the edge.
“Maddie found out when I was seven. She was surprised but quickly accepted it.” He smiles to himself, always amazed about how great his sister is. But the smile doesn´s stay for long as he continues. “My parents were next. I um- My dad fell down the stairs and I tried to help him, and I did, but they weren’t pleased with having a son like me. If my memory doesn´t deceive me they called me a ‘demon’ and kicked me out of the house. I was 17 at the time. I didn’t tell anyone else for a long time. Until I met Brad.” The sand blond hair and green eyes flashes in front of his eyes and he represses a shiver. “We um- we were together for a couple of years, and I truly thought that we were it. That we would get married, have kids, the house, the dog. All of it. So I wanted to tell him. It felt like I was lying to him. So I planned to do it, and the situation presented itself a few weeks later. He got some scrapes on his knee while rock climbing. Nothing serious, but still an injury. And I thought it was perfect, I could just tell him and then show him, and that would be it.” He looks over at Eddie who’s watching him silently with careful eyes. “He didn’t take it well. The beating almost put me in the hospital. Had to call out sick for a week.” He says it matter of factly, without any emotions in his voice. But Eddie pales, becoming almost white in his face and a startled look in his eyes.
“So, yeah. With a 75% rate of people not handling it very well, it just didn’t seem like a good idéa to share this piece of myself. To anyone.”
He quiets down and looks over at his friend, noticing the sad look on his face.
“And I-. Damn it . I really fucked this up, didn’t I? Buck-” Eddie´s voice is heavy with guilt and he rubs a hand over his mouth as he looks over at Buck. Then he stands up and walks over, stopping just a couple of steps in front of him and his hand twitches, like he's about to reach out but stops himself.
“What can I do to fix this?” He whispers, staring at Buck with pleading eyes. And suddenly all energy drains from him.
“I don’t know, Eddie.”
“Buck-” The man takes a step closer but stops abruptly when Buck tenses up, looking away from him.
“I think-” He feels tears burning behind his eyelids, his heart clenching. “This time, it's me who’s gonna need a minute.”
Eddie stares at him with a defeated look on his face and he almost caves, but he knows he’s right. They need to find their balance again, and to do that he needs to find his own first. Eventually the man nods.
“Alright.” His voice is hoarse but he keeps a steady gaze into Buck´s eyes. “But I need you to know something, I'm done running. After Chris, you´re the most important part of my life, Evan. And I will wait for as long as you need me to. I want-, no I need you in my life. So you take as long as you want, and I'll be here when you're ready, ok?” The man’s eyes are burning with determination as he stares at him.
"Ok." Buck whispers.
Chapter Text
He goes back to work the day after and the next few shifts are.. Awkward, for lack of a better word. Buck and Eddie seem to be in the middle of some weird dance, always making sure not to touch or be too close, having someone between them and barely talking directly to each other. The man is perfectly polite and never says or does anything that indicates that he's angry or upset, respecting Buck’s wishes for space.
It’s like if they were distant colleagues that’s not really know each other, and it feels off to Buck, so used to have the man next to him at all times.
The rest of the team was teasing them in the beginning, wondering what happened to break up the ‘supercouple’ according to Chim, but when they realized that the two of them actually barely were talking and definitely wasn’t entertained by their banter, they eventually backed off. It was a relief but even if nobody said anything it was still clear as day, that this new normal where Buck and Eddie arn´t Buck and Eddie? It's creating a bit of a weird atmosphere over the team as well.
Buck startles awake from restless sleep in the bunkroom when the alarm goes off, and he stumbles towards the truck with Chim and Hen on his heels. Eddie comes running from upstairs and Buck rubs his face quickly to try to wake up.
The ride is mostly silent, only Bobby giving them a quick briefing on their way as the engine barrels down the dark street of Los Angeles. It’s barely 2 am in the morning and the streets are mostly empty. When they pull up at the scene, Buck's alert and awake, the adrenaline filling his veins when he looks up at the house, ready to get to work.
It’s a 2 story house and the top floor has caved in, making one side of the house look like jack-straws and half of the roof completely collapsed. There’s a bunch of onlockers standing at the curb and some police-officers are putting up tape to keep them away.
“Jises, what the hell happened?” Chim swears under his breath as the jumps out of the engine, looking at the house with concerned eyes.
“We’re not sure. But we need to go forward with precaution. The house is unstable and we can’t be sure it’ll stay up.” Bobby says, gathering them around him. “Chim and Sarah; you do what you can to secure that wall. There’s 3 people stuck in there, male 45, woman 43 and their son, age 5. The child’s room is on the top floor and the parents on the bottom. The father is the one who called it in and he and his wife are stuck on the first floor, seemingly unharmed. Hen, Pete, see if you can reach them from the outside. Buck, Eddie, you focus on the child.”
“Do we know the status of the child, cap?” Eddie asks and Bobby shakes his head.
“We do not. The parents haven't heard anything from him. Alright, let's go!”
They quickly gear up and Buck is bouncing restless while he waits for the clear to get into the house. Eddie’s standing quiet next to him and he can tell that the man's shoulders are tense. They all get a bit more affected when there's a child involved, but a young boy usually hits the man a bit harder. He watches him from the corner of his eye for another minute before turning back to the house. And finally they get the clear to move forward and they start moving.
As they step inside it’s immediately clear that beams supporting the top floor have given way, if Buck would’ve taken a guess he’d say the family probably did some renovations and removed the supportive beams in favor of an open plan area down stairs. They can see the furniture from the top floor laying in front of them along with the debris and dust and he swallows the lump in his throat. He hopes to god that the kids room wasn’t right atop of the part that caved, he doubts he would’ve survived that.
They work their way through the rubbish and get to what once was a staircase. It has a lot of broken parts and is covered in debris as well, but they manage to climb it with careful steps, making their way upstairs. He can hear Eddie behind him and even though everything isn't quite right between them at the moment, it still is comforting to know that the man is right there.
“LAFD, call out!” He raises his voice and then stops, listening intensely for a sound, but there’s nothing. They work their way a bit further in before he tries again. “LAFD call out!”
Still nothing, he looks over at Eddie and there’s tense lines in the man's face as he listens, giving a small shake of his head when he meets Buck’s eyes.
“Gavin! Gavin, you in here bud? Call out if you can hear us!” They come up to a big pile of broken beams and walls, and it takes them some time to work through it, but eventually they create a hole big enough for them to crawl through.
When he stands up on the other side he realizes that he's in the boys bedroom. Two of the walls are still intact, showing off light blue walls and painted wooden letters on the wall, spelling out ‘ Gavin ’ and toys spread out on the floor. But the wall they came from as well as the last wall are completely caved in, and half of the room is covered in parts of the roof. He hears Eddie´s sharp intake of breath when he comes through the hole behind him, and Buck’s stomach sinks when he notices the edge of the kids bed sticking out from some debris. If the kid was sleeping when it all went down, he would’ve been crushed.
“G-gavin?” Buck clears his throat. “Gavin? You in here? We’re firefighters and we're gonna get you out, can you hear us?”
There’s still no response and he looks over at Eddie who's got a grim look on his face, and the man starts moving towards the area with the bed. Buck quickly follows and they work in silence while they lift as much debris away as they can, careful, not to justle the fragile house more than necessary.
“Gavin?” Eddie calls out again while they keep on digging. Then the man freezes up and Buck automatically stops moving. At first he thinks he imagines it, that it's wishful thinking, but then Eddie snaps his head towards him with big eyes. And then they hear it again. A low whimper coming from the pile.
“Gavin? Hang on, bud.” They start digging again with quick movements and when they finally move the last piece Buck almost buckles of relief when the small boy blinks up at them. Somehow he had managed to get underneath the bed and it had concealed him from most of the rubbish.
“Hey bud, wow I'm glad to see you. I'm Eddie, this is my friend Buck.” Eddie smiles down at him. “Are you hurt?” The boy's lips start to wobble and tears follow down his face, and Buck can’t really tell if the kid actually has any injuries or is just scared. Eddie talks with him in a low voice before straightening up a bit.
“Alright, let's get you out of here, yeah? Just stay still and we do the work.” He leans back towards Buck and lowers his voice.
“I can’t get him to tell me if he’s hurt so we’ll have to just get him out and look him over after. Alright?”
It does take them a few more minutes to remove enough to be able to get the boy out, but eventually he crawls out of the hole with a teary face. Gavin sits down on the floor in front of where they are kneeling and Eddie lays a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it carefully.
“You´re doing so well, champ, you’re being really brave. I know this is really scary. Does anything hurt?”
“M-my leg.” Gavin hiccups and turns his wide, glossy eyes at them and Buck feels a stab in his heart. He truly hurt seeing kids in pain.
“Alright, I’m just gonna take a quick look, is that ok?” Eddie waits for the boy to nod before he carefully moves his hands over the small leg. When he gets closer to the kid's ankle Gavin tenses up and lets out a loud cry, new tears streaming down his dusty cheeks, and Eddie quickly lets go.
“Alright, I'm sorry kid.” He leans towards Buck again with concerned eyes. “I really think we should try to support it with something, it's gonna be hell for him to get carried out of here otherwise.”
Buck meets the man's eyes for a moment, hesitating before turning towards the boy again.
“Hey, Gavin? What´s your favorite animal?” Gavin sniffs and looks at him with big eyes.
“F-fishes.”
“Yeah? That’s pretty cool. Why do you like them best?” As he talks he absently moves his hand and puts it on top of Gavin´s smaller one that's resting on the floor.
“They got p-pretty colors.” His eyes are still glossy with tears but the boy's lips aren't trembling quite as much anymore, happy to talk about his favorite animals. While he distracts the boy with different kinds of facts and questions, he lets his hand rest solid on the boy's hand, the familiar tingling working its way down the arm and into it. He can feel Eddie's gaze burn into him where he's sitting silently beside him, but he keeps his focus entirely on the boy.
After a few more questions he can tell that Gavin is a lot more relaxed and that the eyes are a bit brighter.
“Well Gavin, you’ve convinced me that fishes definitely are the coolest. Could you try to stand up for me, please?”
The boy sniffles before he climbs up on his legs, holding on to Buck´s turnout as he stands upright. Buck lets out a relieved breath and hears Eddie’s breath hitch in his throat.
“You´re doing great, kid. You ready to get out of here?” The boy nods eagerly and Buck carefully picks him up and puts him on his hip, small arms immediately circling his neck. He steels himself and eventually looks over at Eddie, not sure what to expect. The man is just looking at him, and Buck has a bit of a hard time reading the look on his face, but the nearest he comes to describe it is something like- amazement maybe? He blushes slightly under the intense gaze and then Eddie gives him a small nod and a smile before turning around, leading the way out of the house.
It takes some time to make their way out but it goes without any issues, and as soon as they're outside a man and woman are racing towards them with stretched out arms, sobbing.
“He´s alright, just a bruised ankle. He hid under the bed when he started hearing the noise.” Buck explains as the mother lifts him over in her arms, squeezing Gavin to her chest with heart wrenching sobs ripping through her.
“Thank you, thank you so much.” The father´s voice sounds wrecked and he quickly throws his arms around his wife and son, making them a tight unit on the lawn. Eventually Hen manages to convince them to come over to the ambulance to have Gavin checked over and Buck smiles a little as he watches them go. They´re a really cute family, he's glad they are alright.
He more feels, than hears, Eddie stepping up next to him, watching the family in silence for a moment.
“That was- um. Pretty amazing. You’ve been doing that a lot without us noticing, haven't you?” Eddie talks low, making sure that the team won´t overhear, and there´s no judgment in the tone, just curiosity, and Buck can help but chuckle a little.
“Maybe.” He purses his lips as he rolls lightly on the sole of his feet. “You're not very observant.” He can't help but tease the man.
“ Hey now !” Eddie splutters next to him and he raises an eyebrow at him with an amused smile.
“Come on, man, if you didn’t know what you do, would you really have realized what was happening up there?”
“Well-” Eddie rubs his neck with a sheepish look on his face. “Maybe not.”
“Yeah. People see what they expect, or want, to see, it takes quite a lot for someone to notice something out of the ordinary sometimes.”
“Hmm..” Eddie bites his lip and Buck can tell that he has something more in mind, so he waits.
“Have- uh.. Have you ever-” The man trails off again and Buck looks at him, curious about where the man is aiming at.
“Have I ever what?”
“Have you ever done it to me?”
Buck feels how he tenses up, but when he wary looks over at his friend he just sees curiosity in his eyes and he tries to swallow the lump in his throat.
“Um-”
Eddie chuckles and nods.
“I’ll take that a yes. I’ve been thinking about it, ever since I found out. There have been times where I- Like, do you remember that fire a few weeks ago where we got stuck and they had to bring us down with the ladder? I was so out of it, my head was honestly killing me, but then it just- subsided. At the time I just thought it hadn't been as bad of a hit as I first thought. But it was you, wasn’t it?”
Buck doesn’t answer, just looks into his friends eyes, but the absence of a denial seems to be answer enough. Because Eddie just smiles at him and nods, before heading over towards their team.
As he watches the man go he feels lighter than he has in weeks.
They get back at the firehouse around 9 am and Buck doesn't bother trying to go back to sleep. Instead he helps Bobby arrange some breakfast for them all while the rest of the team chills out in the bunks, leaving the two of them alone in the loft.
“How's things with Eddie?” Bobby looks over at him swiftly before going back to tear the cheese for the omelet.
“Alright, I guess.”
“I must admit I was a bit worried when you were coming back, and I think everyone can tell that there's some tension between you guys. But from what I´ve seen you seem to work alright together this last week? Does it feel ok?”
“Yeah, it´s ok. He um, he came by the loft before I got back and we talked a bit.”
“That´s good.”
“Yeah. I think we'll be alright.” Buck throws a glance over at his captain and is met with a calm smile.
“I have no doubt.”
After breakfast Buck heads downstairs and grabs his airpods, and cleaning supplies, heading for the engine. While Imagine Dragons plays in his ears he starts cleaning the red surface and thinks back to his and Bobby´s conversation.
He meant what he said, he does think he and Eddie will be ok. The man has been nothing but supportive since the conversation in the loft and he has done everything to show Buck that he's there for him. And it´s nice, to see that their friendship means that much to Eddie that he´ll put in the effort to get them back on track. Buck´s not really used to people working that hard for him, and it leaves a warm feeling in his chest.
They made a bit of a mess of things, both of them. Buck likes to think that if he showed Eddie what he could do before the accident, the man wouldn't have reacted quite as bad. But instead he got blindsided in the worst of situations, which could make anyone spiral to be honest. That something they'll never know, but considering how the man has been since he calmed down from the shock, it seems like it could have turned out a bit differntly.
Buck smiles for himself when the next song comes on, the lyrics of ‘It’s Time’ seemingly especially appropriate, and he nods along slightly to the tones while he keeps on washing the truck. Maybe it is time. He misses his friend. He misses Chris, movie nights at the Diaz’s household, outings in the city just the three of them. The long talks on the sofa in the quiet evening after Chris has gone to bed. The touches. He´ve seen Eddie reach out for him on several occasions, small things, like a hand on his arm or pressing their shoulders together. But he always stops and aborts the motion, hesitant if he´s allowed. And every time Buck aches for him to actually go the whole way.
Maybe he was stupid to ask for some space. The first couple of days it did feel like the right move, but now? It feels more like punishment for both of them.
He bends down to wet the cloth again and when he turns back up he notices a motion in the corner of his eye. He turns towards the opening towards the street and goes completely still, the world fizzling out of existence.
On the other side of the road is a figure, leaning relaxed against the fence with his hand shoved down into the pockets of his dark jeans. He wears a red t-shirt that stretches over his broad shoulders and the blond hair plays around his face in the wind. He wears sunglasses, but Buck knows that they hide moss green eyes, with a hint of brown in the left one.
Brad .
He drops the cloth and starts walking towards the entrance at a high pace, pocketing his airpods. He sees how the man lets his lips turn into a smirk when he notices him coming closer and he quickly covers the parking lot, keeping a close eye on the man. But just as he's about to step over the road he hears the alarm blaring behind him and he swears as he comes to an abrupt stop. They stare at each other for a moment, Buck with clenched jaw and tense shoulders and Brad got a smug look on his face.
He wants to cross the street, to know what the hell the man is doing here. To get him to leave. He doesn’t want him anywhere near here. But the alarm keeps on blasting and he hears the doors of the truck slamming. He turns on his heel and runs back to the firehouse, throwing himself into the vehicle seconds before it starts rolling out of the building.
He breathes heavily as he sits down, the shock getting to him. He stares out the window as they fly by where Brad stood, but the man is gone. There's no sight of him.
“Buck? You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He startles and looks over at Hen´s concerned voice and notices that all of them are watching him with worried eyes.
“Yeah, no, I-I’m fine.” He doesn’t sound convincing even to his own ears, but they just give him another look before letting it go and he stares back out the window again.
Then he feels the soft press of a knee against his, a silent show of support, and he closes his eyes, basking at the warmth radiating from Eddie´s touch.
Chapter Text
Buck´s a bit jumpy the next few days. He keeps throwing looks over his shoulders and tenses up anytime he sees a blond head. He tried to find some information about the man online but the few things he does find are a few years old.
He doesn't understand what Brad wants. They were together while he lived in Montana, and when Buck left he really hoped that would’ve been the last time he ever saw the man. He made it pretty clear he thought Buck was someone he didn't want anything to do with anymore. And Brad must have obviously looked him up, found his place of work and made sure to make Buck aware that he's here. So what's the endgame?
Buck sighs and leans his forehead against the cold metal of his locker, closing his eyes. He's exhausted. He haven't been sleeping very well lately it´s been a fucking long shift. There's a locker closing next to him and he jumps at the sound, startled since he didn’t hear anyone come in.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Eddie looks at him with a slight wrinkle between his eyebrows. “You alright, man? You’ve been a bit jumpy lately.”
“Yeah, no I'm alright. Just a bit tired.”
He hasn’t told anyone about seeing Brad. For one he doesn't want to worry them, and if he told them he would also have to tell them why he doesn't want him around. He knows his team well enough to know that ‘a bad breakup’ won’t cut it as an explanation, and he's really not keen to tell the whole story. He probably could tell Eddie since he already knows, but something keeps him from doing so.
“If you say so.” There's something unreadable playing in the brown eyes and Eddie seems to want to say something more, but then he stops himself and throws his bag over his shoulder, backing up towards the door.
“See you next shift, yeah?”
“Yeah..” Buck quietly answers as the man turns around and walks out the firehouse. He looks at where he disappeared for a moment before he swears to himself and quickly grabs his own bag, jogging after him.
“Eddie!”
The man is just about to get into the driver seat of his truck but stops in motion at Buck´s voice, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow while Buck walks up to him.
“I um-” Suddenly he´s nervous, not sure of how to cross the last of the gap that's been between them lately. He swallows in a try to dampen his suddenly dry throat while Eddie looks at him with curious eyes. “Do- are you busy now? Chris is getting out of school soon, right? Was thinking maybe he’d enjoy one of those sundaes at Gary´s? If-if you like to go?” He feels a blush creep up his cheeks while he stutters it out, but to Eddie´s credit he doesn’t laugh, he just looks at him with warm eyes and a soft, intimate smile playing on his lips.
“I think he would love that.” He eventually says quietly. “Wanna come with me to pick him up?”
“Yeah, yeah I do.”
Eddie ducks his head, but Buck can still see the pleased smile that spreads over the man's face, and he can feel one coming along on his own.
“Alright, good.” Eddie mumbles. “Let’s go then.”
“Alright, bud. Time for bed.”
Buck looks over at Eddie´s voice, and down at the boy leaning against him on the couch. Chris is blinking repeatedly, trying his best to stay awake, but obviously fighting a losing battle. He's so adorable and Buck has to bite back a laugh. They spent the afternoon together and everything felt almost as it used to. It probably helped having Chris with them since the kid makes it impossible to have awkward silences, but still. It was relaxed, and they were happily joking around while having their ice cream.
When Eddie quietly asked if he wanted to be dropped off back at the firehouse or come with them home instead, it was an easy choice.
“Fine. Bucky?” Chris tugs lightly at the arm of his hoodie. “Can you tuck me in, please?”
It was such a shy and polite request from the kid and he needs to clear his throat before being able to respond.
“Um, y-yeah. Of course, bud.”
They go through the night routines and it's not long before Chris is under his spider man-covers and a tight grip around his plush toy dragon.
“Night, kid. Love you.” Eddie bends down and presses a kiss on his forehead.
“Love you too, dad. I need to talk to Buck now.”
Eddie´s eyebrows fly up to his hairline.
“Yeah? I can´t hear?”
“No.” Chris´s face is serious as he looks at his dad and Buck starts to get a bit nervous. What is this about?
“Um, alright. I guess I'll leave you to it, then?”
Eddie presses another kiss on the boy's cheek before standing up and gives Buck a curious look, but he just shrugs his shoulders, having no idea what the boy might want to talk about. He waits until Eddie´s left and closed the door behind him before heading over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.
“Everything alright, Chris?”
“Yeah..” Chris nods but still has the serious face on and bites his lips. “Where did you go?”
Buck frowns a little at the question, not sure what to make of it.
“What do you mean?”
“You haven't been here in a really long time. I missed you.”
“Oh. Yeah, I´m sorry about that, kiddo. But we´ve seen each other? You´ve been visiting me at the loft and we went to the beach last week?”
“It´s not the same.” Now Chris is pouting and Buck is starting to get really confused about it all.
“Ok.. Why is that?"
“Dad didn't come with. When we're here, we’re all together, like a family.”
And that’s- ok, he’ll pack that knowledge away for later. He scratches his jaw as he tries to figure out what to say.
“I´m sorry, Chris. I had some stuff going on and couldn’t come by as much. But I’ll make sure to come here more often from now on, ok?”
“You promise?” The boy's eyes are big and round with a glossy film over them, and there's probably nothing in the world Buck could refuse him while he looks at him like that.
“I promise.”
“Good. Dad was really sad when you weren't here.”
When he steps out of Chris´s room he stands just outside for a moment, trying to digest their conversation. He didn’t realize Chris had been so affected by the fact that he hadn’t been around the house as much. He made sure to call the kid as much as he could and hang out with him whenever possible, but apparently that hadn’t been enough. He presses his fingers against his eyes, guilt eating at him. They really made a fucking mess of it all.
He hears Eddie moving around inside the kitchen and walks up to the doorway, just watching him for a while. He's standing at the sink, cleaning dishes. Buck suspects he's not really paying attention to what he's doing though, since he's been scrubbing the same plate for the last minute. The room is dimly lit, just a small lamp over the kitchen table, throwing a warm glow over the surfaces. Eddie changed clothes during the night, and he's dressed in gray sweatpants and an old LAFD t-shirt. His feet are bare and his hair ruffled, the strands a bit too long and they fall down on his forehead as he´s bent over the sink.
The whole scene is the ultimate picture of domestic bliss. How would it feel to walk up behind him and put his arms around his waist? To let his hands slide over the hard abs and bury his face in the junction between his neck and shoulder? He’ll probably smell like that sandalwood-soap he uses, the one that he has hidden away in his locker at work as well, claiming that the department's soap smells like dish soap. And Buck’s mind always goes a bit blank when he gets a sniff of it in passing.
“Everything ok?” Buck snaps out of his thoughts and suddenly notices that Eddie has turned around, now leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, and Buck feels his face heat up at being caught staring.
“Um, yeah. No, all good.”
“He ok?” Eddie nods towards Chris´s door.
“He´s fine, he just had some questions about why I haven't been around the house lately.”
At this Eddie´s face falls and he gets a guilty look in his eyes.
“I didn’t know what to tell him when he asked. I tried, but I-” The man bites his lips and looks down at his bare feet.
“It's ok, Eds. I just said I had some stuff going on but that I'll make sure to come by more often.”
Eddie quickly raises his head again, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“Will you? Come by more?”
He asks the question like he's equally afraid as hopeful about the answer, like he doesn’t dare to hope that Buck will start spending time with them again. And if Buck hadn’t already made up his mind, that sure would have done it. He takes a few slow steps towards where Eddie´s still leaning at the counter and nods slowly.
“Yeah. If you'll have me?” He doesn’t even finish the question before the man quickly nods.
“Always.” Buck bites back a smile at the eager tone and clears his throat.
“I´m glad.”
They just stay there for a moment, comfortable silence between them.
“Want a beer?”
They grab a couple of bottles and sit down on the couch in the living room, Eddie finds some documentary about elephants and puts it on, volume low in the silent house.
“I talked to Maddie the other day.” Buck says quietly.
Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, an amused look on his face. And ok, that´s fair enough, he talks to Maddie almost every day.
“Um ok?”
“About the accident.” He clarifies, almost feels bad for bringing it up, but the talk with his sister had shaken him. “She- she told me you never found anything about the driver?”
Eddie clenches his jaw and his eyes turn hard. Buck notices that the knuckles on his hand go white because he holds his bottle in such a hard grip.
“No. No, we didn´t.” The man's voice is filled with emotions, making it hoarse. “There's only one camera on this street, and it was broken. We tried to go through the others, but there´s nothing. I think they parked the car outside of the camera's view and walked, and it could've been there for hours. We went with you to the hospital, we didn’t check the cameras until the next day and by then anything could’ve happened. We´ll probably never find out.” The disappointment and anger are clear on his face and Buck can only relate. The fact that someone ran a kid, Chris , over and then got away with it is eating him up inside, along with the guilt. They can’t call the cops because Chris is fine, they have no proof whatsoever that there actually was an accident to begin with. And if they did they’ll have to tell the police about what he did.
“I´m sorry, Eddie.”
He looks down at the half empty bottle he holds loose against his leg and feels Eddie´s heavy gaze on his profile.
“You saved him. I´m angry as hell that I don’t know who to hold responsible for it, but in the end that doesn’t matter. He's ok. He's ok, thanks to you . And that's all that matters.” He sees Eddie´s hand reaching out in the corner of his eye before it comes down on his wrist, a quick squeeze before the man retrieves it again, leaving a warm feeling on his skin.
“And besides, I don’t even know what to do if I actually found who it was. It's not like we can charge them with anything, they would just go free. I would probably just beat them to death and end up in jail.”
He says it like it's a joke, but Buck still feels a chill running down his spine.
Chapter Text
“Unck buck, here.” Jee hands over a small plastic teacup to Buck and he tries his best not to feel like a giant as he holds the tiny toy, it feels like he could break it with just his thumb. But he takes it and takes a sip of the fake tea when his niece glares at him.
“Mm, best tea I ever had, Jee. Thank you.” He´s rewarded with a big, toothy smile before she makes herself busy offering her dolls tea instead and he smiles softly at her. She's growing up so damn fast, and he just wishes he could stop the time. But at the same time it's amazing watching her grow into her own person and see how she learns new things, and he’s so grateful he’s around to see it. Jee happily plays on with her toys and he carefully puts down the cup and stands up, heading over to the couch where Maddie´s sitting with a cup of coffee waiting for him.
“You good with her.” She says softly when he sits down and he feels how he blushes slightly.
“She makes it easy. She’s so great, Maddie. You guys are doing good.”
They sit in silence for a bit, watching the girl play and sipping on their beverage.
“How's things going with Eddie?”
“Um, good. I think. We´re hanging out again.”
He thinks back to the other day, he had spent the night on the couch and woken up in the morning with a warm weight on his chest and Ash’s yellow eyes blinking down on him. They had a big pancake breakfast and the three of them had joked around and made faces on their plates with fruits and syrup, competing on who made the worst one. He smiles to himself as he recoils the laughter from the Diaz’s filling the room, it had almost been as it used to. Maddie narrows her eyes at him.
“I feel like there's a but coming? Is he still having issues with your gift?”
“No, or at least I don’t think so. We haven't talked that much about it to be honest. But he seems cool with it. It´s just-” He quiets down when Jee comes up to them, handing over a plush toy and arranges it next to Buck on the sofa, making sure he's moving it around until she´s happy with it ́s position before she moves back to her tea party.
“It´s just-?” Maddie prompts when she´s assured her daughter is consumed by her toys again. Buck takes a sip of his coffee before rubbing his neck with his free hand.
“I thought, like before everything happened, I kinda thought we were going towards something- more? Maybe?” He throws a glance at his sister and winces when he sees sympathy in her eyes.
“Stop it. It's not like that, nothing ever happened between us. I don’t even know if or what it was, it was just small things and I guess I was ready to see what it could be. But I don’t think that's gonna happen anymore.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment at the thought. He really was ready to see what they could be, but he's not willing to risk their friendship for it. He looks down at his arm when he feels a hand squeezing his wrist before he meets Maddie´s eyes again.
“Don’t give up yet, baby brother. Everyone can see how much he cares about you.”
He leaves Maddie's place about 2 hours later, after some needed cuddling with his niece and another cup of fake tea. As he drives through Los Angeles he lets his mind drift, as it mostly does, to Eddie. He's not sure where they stand at the moment and it doesn’t sit well with him. They've always been in sync, knows what the other one thinks and wants and now it´s like there's this wall between them. He can't even say what it is that makes the wall stay up, they´re laughing and joking and hanging out again just like they used to. But at the same time it's not. it's just something there that wasn’t before. He sighs for himself as he parks the jeep and jumps out, trying to shake the feeling of him while crossing the street to the small café on the corner. It's 2 pm on a Wednesday so the place isn't too busy and he can easily spot her red hair where she's sitting in the corner. He lets his gaze trail over her for a moment, he hasn't seen her in a bit, but she looks just the same. Make up well done, hair falling down over her shoulders and a focused look while she taps away on the computer. He smiles a little at the sight, somehow it's comforting that some things never change. He makes his way through the tables and when he´s almost at her table she looks up, looking him over with a small smile.
“Evan Buckley. Looking good.” He chuckles and bends down to give her a kiss on her cheek.
“You too, Taylor.” He sits down in front of her and she closes the laptop and puts it aside. “Sorry I'm a bit late, hope you didn't wait long.”
“It's cool, you know me, almost good to catch up with work.” She beams at him before narrowing her eyes. “Was a bit surprised to hear from you. Guessing this isn’t just to catch up with an old ex?”
He hesitates for a second, before biting his lip and leaning his forearms on the table between them.
“No. No it´s not. I could use some help.”
She doesn't answer, just raises a perfect eyebrow at him and waits.
“I need your help finding someone.”
Then he starts telling her about Brad. In theory Buck probably could´ve talked to Athena, she might have been able to help him faster, or have better ways to find out what he wants to know. But he doesn't know if there's anything going on in the first place and he doesn't want to bring it out of proportion. If he tells Athena the whole of 118 will know within a day. He just wants to be on top of it, make sure there´s nothing he needs to worry about. So he called his ex-girlfriend instead.
Eventually Taylor sits back with pursed lips and watches him with a thoughtful look.
“So you want me to find this guy, why he´s in LA and where´s staying? That´s all?”
Buck nods slowly.
“Yeah, at least for now.” She hums and looks out through the window for a moment and he holds his breath, he's aware she has no reason whatsoever to help him with this.
“Alright, I´ll see what I can do.” She smiles kindly at him and he lets out a relieved breath.
“Thank you, Tay. I owe you one, seriously.”
“Naw, it's cool. I was actually happy to hear from you, I know we didn’t work out as a couple but we used to have fun and you’re a good guy, Buck. Wouldn't mind having you as a friend.” She averts her eyes and looks down at the table, and to his fascination he sees a hint of red tinting her cheeks, he doesn't think he ever seen Taylor Kelly blush. And they did some stuff while dating that definitely should have resulted in blushing.
“I´d like that.” He says softly and really does mean it.
It's been a few days since he met with Taylor and she still hasn’t found anything. He can’t tell if it's a good or bad sign but either way it makes him jittery. He swears when he hits his head in the doorframe as he jumps out of the jeep and rubs the sore spot as he walks around the car to the passenger seat to grab the pizza boxes and bag of drinks. The day has been one of those where everything goes wrong. The coffee-machine went crazy in the morning and didn’t stop pouring coffee, resulting in coffee all over his counter and it took ages to clean it. In the gym someone had broken the sprint to the weights in the cable cross so he couldn’t do the workout he had planned. He managed to burn his lunch and his landlord called to inform him that there would be an increase of the rent from next month. So yeah, the day has been less than pleasant and all he wants to do is to get into the house and cuddle down on the couch with Chris and Eddie and watch a movie, and eat pizza.
He grabs the boxes and heads up towards the door, his head still throbbing a bit, but it's forgotten almost immediately when he enters the house and hears a big crash from the living room area with some colorful swearing, telling him that something definitely broke. He quickly drops the food on the kitchen table before making his way into the living room where Eddie´s leaning down on the floor, water and glass shattered all around him and his hand red with blood dripping from it where he presses his other hand towards the wound.
“Jesus, Eddie! You alright?” Buck quickly steps inside and carefully kneels next to the man who's got a sheepish look on his face.
“Yeah, just annoyed. Dropped a glass of water and cut myself on it when I was gonna clean it up.” He removes his hand from the wound to inspect it with a small wince and quickly presses on it again with a grimace when the blood starts pouring out of the deep cut.
“Probably gonna need stitches. Fuck. Might need a ride to the hospital if you don´t mind?” He looks up to Buck with a tired expression and raises an eyebrow. Buck looks at him for a moment, Eddie knows what he can do. But he still wants to go to the hospital. He hesitates for a moment, the familiar insecurity heavy in his chest, before he takes a deep breath and bites his lip.
“I um- Ca-can I look at it?” He holds out his hand for Eddie to place his hand in his and waits. Eddie just looks at him with a confused frown before his eyes clears with understanding and his mouth drops open in a small ‘o’, like he had forgotten that he even could ask Buck for this kind of help.
“Right. I, um, yeah. Sure.” The man hesitates for a second before slowly removing his hand from the wound and puts the injured hand in Buck’s with an unreadable look on his face. His hand is warm in Buck´s and sticky with the blood and he quickly lets the power work its magic. It barely takes any effort at all for him, it's as easy as breathing to let the tingling feeling flow through his arm and down to Eddie´s hand, and he watches how the wound closes up within a minute. When he looks up he sees Eddie staring down at his hand, a carefully blank look on his face.
“You should go clean that, I´ll clean up in here in the meantime.” The man keeps staring at his hand and clenches it a couple of times before quickly nodding and stands up.
“Sure.” He mumbles before disappearing down the hallway and into the bathroom. Buck stares after him for a moment, a clump in his stomach. He really did think Eddie was cool with it all, but something with the man's behavior tells him otherwise. He starts cleaning up the living room and has just thrown out the broken glass in the kitchen trash when he hears footsteps behind him. When he turns around Eddie's standing in the door hole, still a neutral look on his face. And something makes Buck believe that he's careful about showing any feelings at all right now.
“How's it feeling?” Buck asks quietly, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed in front of him. Eddie looks down at his hand again, flexing it a bit.
“Good. It´s good. Thank you for fixing it.” He takes a deep breath and walks in, carefully avoiding Buck´s gaze as he starts picking out glasses to put on the table.
And listen, if it was any other day Buck might have had at least a little bit of patience. But today? With his temper on the edge and his head throbbing and his stress level a bit higher than usual? Yeah, today is not that day.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” He mutters under his breath before letting out a humorless laugh. “You´re freaking out? Again .” Eddie snaps his head towards him at the harsh tone, wide eyes.
“What-”
“No. Save it. I´m done. I´m fucking done .” He turns on his heel and moves to the door, eyes burning with equal part anger as disappointment.
“Buck-” He ignores Eddie’s voice behind him and reaches for the door handle, starting to opening it, but it only opens a couple of inches before it slams shut by a hand pressed firmly at it over Buck’s shoulder, the force pushes the handle out of his hand and he lets it drop defeatedly, squinting his eyes shut closed, still facing the door as he is trying to calm down.
“ Stop .”
Eddie’s voice is low but earnest as he is leaning against the door with the one hand, his chest lined up against Buck’s back, close enough that he can feel the heat radiating from the man, but not touching. Their ragged breaths are loud in the quiet room, like they’ve been running a mile.
“Just wait .” The puffs of air from Eddie’s breath hits his neck, warm over his now flushed skin and he can feel a shiver go down his spine.
“I was not freaking out.” Eddie´s mouth is right next to his right ear and Buck´s senses are on high alert, the low voice intense when so close. He's aware of every inch of the body behind him and it suddenly feels like there´s static crackling between them, like his body tries to pull the man in, desperate for the touch. And he wants it. He wants to close the distance so bad. Eddie rests his forehead against the back of Buck’s head and he can hear his shaky breaths, just as affected by the situation as Buck is.
“I- I can't- I just want-” Eddie’s voice sounds wrecked and Buck feels his breath hitch in his throat at the sound.
When he feels lips softly press against his neck, his knees almost gives out, a jolt shooting through him at the light touch and he quickly grabs the doorframe with his hand to keep upright, letting out a low whimper that would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so consumed in the feeling of Eddie’s soft lips against his hot skin. The man seems encouraged by his reaction, and he feels a hand hesitantly land on his hip, and the burning feeling makes him want to rip his pants off just to see if the handprint will be visible on his skin.
“ Buck .” His name is only a whisper against his skin and he grabs the doorframe harder, his knuckles white at the hard grip and tries to take a couple of calming breaths to get some air down his lungs. But then the hand on his hip sneaks around his waist instead, pressing him against the hard chest behind him and Eddie´s other hand moves and lands on top of Buck’s, intertwining their fingers against the doorframe. Hot sparks are surging through him wherever their bodies are connected and suddenly breathing doesn’t seem like a priority anymore.
Eddie’s everywhere , he feels consumed by the heat and the smell of the man and he wants to keep this feeling forever. They’re flushed together from knees to chest, and the strong arm around his middle keeps Buck secure against the other man so he can barely tell where he stops and Eddie starts. Eddie tips his head and starts kissing his neck, at first it’s small, soft kisses, trailing carefully against his neck, but soon enough he gets bolder, and he starts sucking and biting and licking alternately, sending jolts of pleasure down Buck’s spine and heat pooling in his belly. The hand on his waist sneaks under the hem of his shirt, sliding up over his abs and makes the muscles clench. Buck lets out a deep groan and angles his head to give the man better access to his neck. He is pressing his hips back against the evident bulge in the man's pants and he feels Eddie’s breath hitch and his grip around his waist tighten as he presses forward to meet him.
“E-Eddie, please, let me-” He manages to get out of Eddie’s firm grip around him, the man letting out a disgruntled sound as he tries to reach for him again, but Buck needs to see him, and he quickly turns around and leans against the door behind him, as he finally lets his gaze fall on the man, and the sight takes his breath away.
Eddie’s pupils are blown wide and the heat and desire in them makes Buck’s throat go dry. His lips are plush and swollen, red after the work he put into Buck’s neck and his skin flushed, the red traveling from his cheeks, down his neck and down under the v-neck of his shirt and Buck can bet his chest is just as colorful.
“Come here.” He mumbles before he reaches out and grabs the belt loops of Eddie’s jeans, and the man comes willingly, pressing him against the door and puts a hand on the side of his neck while letting the other rest on his waist.
Then the atmosphere changes, the rush and intense feeling from earlier dissolves and when Eddie leans in this time his lips are soft against Buck´s, moving slowly and with purpose. His hand moving up from Buck´s neck up to cup his cheek and he feels a thumb caress his cheekbone. It's everything Buck always wished their first kiss would be, loving and caring, and he can’t help the small gasp he lets out.
Then they hear the door to Chris´s room open down the hall and they freeze for a moment before they hear the door to the bathroom open and close. When Buck looks back at Eddie he's met with a soft smile and warm eyes watching him. Then the man lets out a low chuckle and leans his forehead against Buck´s.
They stay like that for a minute, just breathing each other's air and slowing down their beating pulse. Buck lets his thumb drag over the soft skin on Eddie´s hips and the man leans forward to press a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving them pressed to his temple, his voice muffled against his skin.
“We´ll talk later. But I need you to know that I did not freak out. It wasn’t about that. Ok? I promise.” He leans back and meets Buck´s eyes, and holds a firm gaze with a raised eyebrow. And maybe Buck is naive, or just has a soft spot for the man in front of him. But he does think the man is honest with him. So he nods slowly, giving him a crooked smile.
“Ok, I believe you.” Eddie smiles relieved and presses another soft kiss on his lips before taking a step back, tugging lightly at Buck´s hand to make him follow.
“Good. Now, let's eat some pizza and watch that movie Chris has been talking about.”
Chapter Text
Buck´s just about to nod off to the sound of the movie playing when he feels a featherlight brush against the back of his neck. He blinks open his heavy eyelids and turns his head towards Eddie who's sitting on the other side of the couch. His arm is resting along the back of the sofa and his fingers strokes lightly on Buck´s neck. The room is mostly dark, only the light from the television playing along their features and the soft light from the kitchen spilling in through the door. Chris is situated between them, snoring softly where he´s tucked up against Buck´s side, a solid warmth against him.
“Let´s go to bed.” Eddie´s whisper is low and he gives Buck a soft smile before he gets up and bends down to pick up the boy. Chris barely stirs, just mumbling something incoherent against his fathers shirt while he carries him into his bedroom. Buck rubs his face with his hands, trying to wake up a bit before he grabs the remote and turns off the tv, leaving the room dark and quiet.
He hasn’t quite grasped the early events of the night yet. They have spent the night as they planned to, eating pizza and watching movies. The differens is that every time he looked at Eddie he found the man already looking at him with a warm gaze in the brown eyes, and it made his heart flip. The man also seemed to take every chance he got to touch him. A hand on his back in a passing, knees pressed together under the kitchen table, fingers brushing while he hands over a drink. And every time it felt like a jolt went through him, leaving sparks dancing under his skin.
He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and clasps his hand around his neck. It's everything he wants. Have wanted for months now. And the thought of having this, Chris and Eddie and movie nights and kisses makes his pulse beat harder. But he´s fucking terrified.
“Buck?” He flinches and looks over to the hallway where Eddie´s looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “You coming?” The man doesn't wait for an answer, just turns around and heads down the hall and Buck swallows before he rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans and stands up, going after him.
He steps inside Eddie´s bedroom and quietly closes the door behind him before leaning back against it, not sure what to do. Eddie´s walking around in the room, throwing away some dirty clothes in the laundry basket in the corner, turning on the bedside table light and heads over to the dresser to grab some sleeping clothes. Buck just observes him for a minute but as the time goes he feels himself become jittery and he swallows to dampen his dry throat.
“Y-you said we were gonna talk.” His voice is low, uncertain, and Eddie stops his roaming around his dresser and looks over.
“Yeah, I did. Now? Was thinking more like tomorrow, when Chris is at school?”
Buck bites his lip and averts his gaze, moving his foot a bit on the carpet in front of him before looking up again, meeting Eddie´s gaze.
“I-I think we need to talk now.”
Eddie´s eyes become guarded and he can see his shoulders tense a bit, and he hates that they´re so on edge at the moment. But he knows they need to do this now. The man nods slowly and rubs his neck.
“Um, ok. Sure.” Eddie hesitates for a moment before opening his mouth again, the whisper small between them. “Do-” He closes his eyes for a moment before squaring his shoulders, straightening up a bit. “Do you regret it? What happened earlier?”
“No.” Buck immediately gives a firm shake on his head without hesitation, and his eyes become soft. “No, of course not. I´ve been wanting to kiss you for a long time, Eds. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Eddie´s smile might be the cutest one he has ever seen, soft and happy and giddy and shy, all at the same time, and he can’t help but smile back before he continues.
“But I need to know that you´re ok with this. That you’re ok with me . Who I am, or what I am. What I can do. Because I- I can’t keep second guessing it, Eddie, waiting for you to bolt. I can't change it, it's a part of me, and if you can’t handle it-” He swallows the sour taste in his mouth. “If- if you can’t handle it, then I need to know that now, and we will stay best friends. I will go back to the loft and we’ll have that one kiss as a wonderful memory. But if we do this, then that’s it. I´m all in. So if I stay, and sleep next to you in that bed tonight.” He takes a step away from the door and gestures towards bed, sees how Eddie´s eyes flicker towards it at the motion. “Then there's no going back for me. I won't be able to, and I won´t want to. But you will hold all the power, and you’d be able to crush me like a bug. So I’m begging you, please , if you can’t-” His voice has become hoarse and he has tears prickling behind his eyelids. He feels raw, and his chest split open, while he lays out his heart in front of his best friend. And it will hurt, it will hurt so fucking much if Eddie turns on him now, but not as much as if he let himself into a false belive that he has him first. “If you can’t do this. Then tell me now.”
Eddie stares at him from where he's standing a few steps away, still holding a forgotten t-shirt loose in his hand. Buck can’t tell what he's thinking, and he holds his breath while he waits. After a moment Eddie seems to compose himself and he takes a step towards him before blinking down confused at the t-shirt in his hand, slowly putting it on top of the dresser before turning back to Buck and walks up to him, stopping right in front of him. He meets Buck´s eyes with a steady gaze.
“What you can do? It's amazing. You are amazing.” He lifts a hand and puts it on Buck´s neck in a firm grip. “It's just proof that you have such a big heart, that you can physically share it with others, in a way of helping that no one else can. And that heart? It's the most pure, selfless and loving heart I have ever met. And I want it next to me for as long as you´ll have me. You said you´re all in? So am I. 100% all in, Evan.”
He tugs lightly at the grip of Buck´s neck and he leans forward with a relieved sigh, closing his eyes as he tugs the man into a tight hug and buries his face in the crook of his neck. The tears are still burning behind his eyelids, but of happiness, and he feels a smile starting to stretch out on his face as he buries it even deeper into the warm skin. Eddie chuckles and strokes his back soothingly and kisses his head. The combined hope and fear he had in his chest transforms into love and giddiness, spreading through him like wildfire, and he can’t stop the small laugh from escaping.
He leans back slightly to look at Eddie's face and he sees a smug grin and mischievous look in his eyes, and it makes his breath hitch in his throat. The man leans forward until his only a breath away from him, his lips almost touching Buck´s when he speaks.
“I have held back the whole night from doing this. And I really, really, want to kiss you again.”
And this time, it´s Buck who surges forward, slotting their lips together while letting a hand run through the dark, soft hair to hold him steady. It feels like coming home, like they've been doing this forever and not just only had their first kiss six hours prior. And it feels like he could kiss Eddie forever. The taste on his tongue, the movements of their lips and tongues as they slide together in a coordinated dance and the moans coming from the man when he angles his head and deepens it even more.
His free hand grabs Eddie´s hip and he slowly walks him backwards towards where he thinks the bed is, not wanting to detach to actually look, still kissing him with all of his heart's desire. He did manage to steer them right and soon enough the back of Eddie's knees hits the edge of the mattress and Buck lowers him down on the soft surface with a firm grip around his waist while he leans next to him on a knee, following the man down until he´s settled on the comforter.
He props his elbows next to Eddie´s head and hovers over him for a moment, looking down on the man beneath him. Eddie´s cheeks are flushed and his lips shine from their kissing. A light stubble is shadowing his jaw and the soft strands of his hair are messy after Buck´s fingers. He trails over the familiar shapes of his face, over the shape of the eyebrow, the sharp jaw, the soft curve of his lips and up the nose. Eventually he meets the brown eyes, patiently waiting for him and they feel like a well, deep and filled with emotions swirling around in them. He moves his right hand and drags his finger along Eddie´s cheek, wonder heavy in his chest that he's allowed to do that now. That he can touch him like this. And be touched like this. Eddie´s hands are resting on his waist, slipped in under the hem of his shirt and he represses a shiver as they slide slowly over his hot skin.
He leans down and takes a soft lip between his own, catching Eddie´s gasp in his mouth as his hand caresses the man´s cheek. The hands on his back roam higher up his back, tugging at his shirt, and eventually he reluctantly leans back and drags it over his head, throwing it somewhere behind him on the floor without looking, before leaning back down and starts pressing kisses against Eddie´s neck. Eddie squirms underneath him, wiggling his hips until Buck´s seated between his legs and Buck gasps when the man presses his hip upwards, the feeling of him against his groin is making his head spin even with the layer of clothes between them, and he bites down on Eddie´s neck with a groan.
“Fuck. Eddie-”
Suddenly he finds himself flipped on his back, Eddie’s hovering over him instead with a satisfied smile. The man leans back so he´s seated on Buck´s lap and removes his shirt, and Buck can only stare at him, his hands resting loosely on Eddie´s hips. It's just a minute before Buck's once again is covered by the firm body on top of him, and he shivers underneath Eddie´s exploring hands that are sliding over his abs, sides and chest. He feels completely consumed by the feeling of having him so near and his blood is roaring in his ears.
His body is reactive and sensitive to every touch, no matter how light, and when warm lips and a wet tongue are covering his right nipple he bites down hard on his lip not to shout out loud. Eddie holds him firmly down on the mattress as he keeps giving the hard bud all of his attention with soft kisses and teasing nips, and the pleasure is excruciating, making blind spots appear in infront of his eyes. It is so intense and he starts to tremble underneath the hot mouth on him and he lets his hands roam wherever he can reach, wanting to touch every centimeter of Eddie´s body. His dick is painfully hard in his jeans and he presses his hips upward, chasing the friction against Eddie and moans when the man meets him by pressing down.
Eddie finally lets go of his nipple and starts kissing him over his chest. Buck´s harsh breathing is the only sound in the otherwise quiet room, and he takes a deep breath as he reaches for him, tugging at him.
“Come here.” His voice is wrecked and Eddie´s eyes are dark, pupils blown when he crashes their lips together in a hard kiss, pressing down his hips to pin Buck to the mattress.
“You´re so fucking beautiful.” Eddie mumbles against his skin while he presses kisses down his neck, sucking and licking on the soft skin. He finds the pulsepoint and sucks, hard, making Buck´s trembling increase and sends a jolt of pleasure down right into his already leaking cook. Buck feels completely wrecked and like putty under the man's hands that´s sliding along his side.
He reaches down with shaky hands and starts unbuttoning Eddie´s jeans. He wants to see him. Touch him. And he wants it now . He swears when his fingers can’t get the button open and feels Eddie letting out a laughing breath against his skin before moving away. Buck immediately reaches for him, not wanting him to go, but Eddie just presses a quick kiss on his lips before moving back again.
“Hang on.” He quickly gets rid of his pants before getting to work on Buck´s, effectively removing the last of their clothing. The picture of him standing there completely naked in all his glory, firm body with toned abs and his dick hard and proud, is making Buck´s mouth water.
“Get back here. Now .” Eddie just smirks at his growl before slowly crawling over the bed hovering over him.
“So eager.” He teases and Buck narrows his eyes at him before reaching down and grabbing Eddie´s hard length in a firm grip without warning. He watches how the smirk slips off and a dazed expression takes it place, the man's eyes becoming blank and his mouth slack. When he lets his thumb sweep over the head and smear the precome over his dick Eddie´s strength fails him, and he almost falls down on top of Buck, his arms shaking.
“Jesus fucking- Buck .” The voice is muffled against Buck´s neck where his face is hiding and his hips are rocking down into Buck´s firm grip, the precome making it a slick. The movement creates friction on Buck´s own dick, trapped between them, and with every thrust down he squirms at the pleasure, so on edge but needing more. He lets go of Eddie and the man whimpers against him, desperately humping against his leg, chasing the orgasm.
“I know, just a moment.” He hushes before rolling them around, easily slotting in between Eddie´s spreaded legs. The man throws his back against the pillows under his head and Buck bends down to suck on his neck while he rolls his hips down, Eddie´s raging breath in his ear. The man throws underneath him, eventually wrapping his legs around Buck´s waist and tries to get closer. Buck grabs his hands, pinning them down on the pillow next to his head, and then he meets the brown eyes, slightly unfocused, and rolls his hips down to meet him, watching how the pupil dilates and the mouth goes slack. Their combined precome is making it an easy glide and he picks up the pace, thrusting against the body beneath him and making their dicks stroke against each other in a perfect friction, and he knows he won't be able to hold it for long. The familiar feeling building in his belly already. Eddie is meeting his every thrust, hugging his hips tight with his legs and his breathing is uneven. He's the most beautiful Buck´s ever seen him, completely surrendered to the pleasure he's chasing, and Buck leans down, letting his forehead rest on Eddie´s while he closes his eyes and picks up his movements even more.
It´s not long before he hears Eddie´s whimper caught in his throat.
“Buck, I- I´m gonna-” His voice is wrecked and Buck almost comes just by hearing it. He angles his head down and mumbles against Eddie´s lips.
“It´s ok, go on, let go.” And it's all it takes, he feels the man tense underneath him, his movement stuttering and the breath being punched out of his lungs as he comes hard, spraying their stomachs and chests with ropes of cum. Buck makes a last hard thrust against him before he follows, the orgasm ripping through him and leaving him in a heap of drained limbs on top of Eddie.
He might have blacked out, or fallen asleep, he's not sure. But he comes to buy the feeling of fingers sliding through his hair in a soothing motion. He feels soft and loose and enjoys the warmth of the firm body beneath him. Even if it does start to become a uncomfortable, sticky mess between them. He moves a little and nuzzles his face into Eddie´s neck, whining a bit when the movement in his hair stops, and relaxes when Eddie resumes the motions with a low chuckle.
“Should have known you´re a cuddler.” He whispers softly in Buck´s ear before pressing a kiss on it, tightening the arm he has around his waist to hold him close. And yes, it is true, Buck´s a massive cuddler, he loves sex, but he almost loves the cuddling after even more.
“Mm. It's nice.” He mumbles before lifting his head, meeting Eddie's post-sex rumpled look and warm eyes. He feels a bit smug that he did that. Eddie looks like he stepped right out of an ad for sex, and it's because of him. He beams down at Eddie´s curious look and slots their lips together, holding the kiss for a moment before nuzzling their noses together.
“We need to shower.”
“Yeah.”
Still they don´t move, just laying there and letting their hands roam slowly over each other, nuzzling and nudging and sharing small kisses. Eventually they do manage to get into the shower and rinse off before climbing back into bed, sliding under the covers. Eddie opens his arms and Buck immediately moves over, slotting himself next to the man with his arm over his waist and resting his cheek on Eddie´s chest, feeling the steady rise of his breathing as Eddie circles his arms around him to keep him close.
He's just about to doze off again when a thought enters his mind.
“Eds?”
“Hmm?” Eddie´s obviously about to fall asleep, his hum almost a non-answer.
“What did you mean earlier?”
“About what?”
“Earlier, when I was about to leave. You said that you didn’t freak out and that ‘It wasn’t about that’, then what was it about? Why were you acting so weird?”
He doesn’t dare look up, and he feels Eddie tense underneath him.
“Ehm- Well-” The man goes silent again and Buck waits for him to continue, but when the minute tick by and Eddie still hasn’t said anything he lifts his head and looks at him. Eddie refuses to meet his eyes, staring up into the ceiling, bright red in his face and biting his lip so hard it looks like it hurts. Buck frowns at him.
“Eddie?”
“I-” Eddie trails off again and his gaze flickers around the room, quickly looking at Buck before looking away again, his fingers tapping nervously on Buck´s skin where they’re resting on his waist. He swallows loudly and lets out a harsh breath.
“It was just- you were so confident and- when you hold my hand it- and it really didn’t feel appropriate- and I just felt-” Eddie lets out a loud huff and squints his eyes closed as he presses his free fingers on his free hand hard against them, the blush becoming deeper for every second until Buck actually thinks he might caught on fire.
He is still just as confused though, not sure what to make of Eddie´s rambling, and he looks away for a moment before looking back at the man, taking in his appearance. He shakes his head bewildered.
“I´m sorry, you gonna have to explain, I don´t-” He stops and watches Eddie squirm and suddenly he gets it, the embarrassment obvious in the man, and he bites his lip to keep the laugh from escaping. He props up a bit higher up on his elbow, making sure he can hover over the mans face, and he tugs at Eddie´s hand a bit to get him to remove it. It goes hesitantly and Eddie squints up at him through small springs and groans and turns his head when he spots Buck´s smug face.
“ Stop it .”
“Na-uh. You liked when I healed you. Like, like liked it.” Buck feels giddy and he can´t stop smiling. He grabs Eddie´s chin and turns his head back again, forcing him to meet his eyes.
“It turned you on, didn’t it?”
Eddie glares at him in response, but the blush growing even deeper is enough of an answer for Buck and can’t stop chuckling.
“Well, that's a hell of a kink-”
He doesn’t get to finish the sentence, Eddie quickly flipping them over and presses down on him, leaning down and whispers in his ear.
“It wasn´t the healing. It was you . So calm and confident and competent, barely breaking a sweat. It was hot as fuck.” His voice is hoarse and Buck feels a shiver go down his spine, squeezing Eddie´s waist in his hands. But then Eddie leans back a bit, meeting his eyes with a serious look. “I just- I know I fucked up when I first found out, and I felt like I had just got you back. I was terrified to say, or do, the wrong thing again, to make you leave for good. It felt inappropriate and I thought that if I just kept my distance during dinner I could calm down a bit.” He makes a grimace. “And still, I ended up doing the wrong thing again, and when you went to leave I kinda panicked.” He rests his forehead against Buck, stroking his cheek with his thumb. “I didn’t want you to leave. I’ve never wanted you to leave.” He whispers and Buck slides his arms around him, pulling him flushed against him and presses a kiss on his temple.
“Well, It's a good thing I'm staying then.” He mumbles against the soft skin. They lay there until they fall asleep, arms and legs tangled together and lips resting against skin, feeling the closeness to each other even in their sleep.
Chapter Text
“What´s got you in such a good mood, Buckaroo?” Buck tries to straighten his face before he turns towards Hen, leaning against the engine he's in the middle of cleaning.
“Don´t know what you mean?” He tries for casual but misses by a mile, and Hen raises an eyebrow at him, humor playing in her eyes.
“You´ve been walking around for weeks with a frown, and now it's all puppy and rainbows. You're practically glowing.” She narrows her eyes at him. “Have you met someone?”
It takes everything Buck has not to let his eyes trail over towards the gym area where Eddie´s in the middle of a workout, and he just shrugs his shoulders and bites his lip. Hen chuckles and shakes her head.
“Alright, I won't push. But happiness looks good on you. I´m happy for you.”
“Thanks Hen.” He waits until she´s walked away before finally turning towards Eddie, warmth pooling in his chest when he notices the man already looking at him with a small smile playing on his lips. Lips that he kissed this morning.
Buck slowly wakes up, consumed by the cocoon of warmth surrounding him and he snuggles deeper into the covers, not ready to wake up just yet. The room is starting to light up by the morning sun, creating soft shadows over the surfaces and the blinders keeping the beams from shining directly at them. He throws a look at the alarmclock and happily notices that it won't go off for quite a while yet.
He hears some shuffling behind him but before he can turn around a hand is sneaking its way onto his hip, sliding up his waist and down his stomach, making his abs clench at the touch. Soft lips are pressing against his shoulder and he can't stop the happy smile on his face.
“Morning.” Eddie´s voice is hoarse from sleep and the man nuzzles his face into Buck´s neck as he pulls him against his chest, a firm grip around his abdomen. They lay there for a while, just enjoying the quiet morning and each other, before Buck turns around in Eddie's grip to face him.
He's met with sleepy, brown eyes and ruffled hair, some sleepmarks from the pillow on his cheek.
“Hi.” He mumbles and lifts his hand to track the man's features with his finger, feeling the light stubble on Eddie´s cheek underneath it.
“Hi yourself.” Eddie´s lips twitch in a small smile. His hand is sliding comfortably over Buck´s back and he watches him with curious eyes. “You ok?”
Buck nods and bites his lip, he almost feels silly about how happy he is right now, and he leans forward to rest his forehead against Eddie´s, resting on his pillow.
“Yeah..” He rests his hand on the man's chest and feels the steady thump of his heart underneath his palm. “I'm kinda happy right now.” He whispers and Eddie chuckles.
“Kinda? Feel like I need to step up my game.” He teases with a low voice before leaning forward and presses a soft kiss against Buck´s lips. He presses lightly on Buck´s shoulder to put him on his back and slides on top of him, still kissing him softly, and Buck hums happily, resting his hands on the firm waist above him as he enjoys the weight pressing him down into the mattress.
“I´m kinda happy too.” Eddie mumbles against his lips before slotting them together again.
The sharp signal of the bells going off rips Buck out of the memory and he quickly leaps into the engine, the team following within a minute. Eddie sits down next to him, still sweaty from the workout, and presses their knees together with an intimate smile. They decided to keep the development of their relationship to themselves for now, just wanting to enjoy it without the others praying eyes and questions, and Buck actually enjoys it. To have this secret between them that's just for them, but considering Hen clocked it the first day that he was seeing someone, he´s doubting they´ll be able to hide it for long.
The call is a five car pile-up at the highway, and they work at it for hours. When they eventually return to the station they´re all completely exhausted and Buck almost cries with relief when Bobby announces that he´ll take them offline for a couple of hours so they can get some rest and food. He takes a shower and stumbles into the bunkroom, almost falling asleep before his head hits the pillow.
It only feels like a minute before he feels a soft hand shaking him lightly and he groans, and buries his face deeper into the pillow, desperately just wanting to get some more sleep.
“I´m sorry, Buck, but it's time to wake up. Shifts over.” Eddie´s voice is low and apologetic and Buck considers just dragging the man down into the bunk with him and continuing sleeping. But eventually he drags himself up and heads into the locker room to grab his stuff, yawning big.
Eddie´s waiting for him on the bench while he's changing, when Buck´s phone goes off next to him. The man grabs it to hand it over but frowns when he looks at it.
“Um, it’s- Taylor Kelly.” He mumbles and hands it over, and Buck swears under his breath.
“Oh, um. I´ll call her back later.” He pockets his phone and grabs the rest of his stuff before following Eddie out to his truck.
The man manages for about 5 minutes before curiosity gets the better of him.
“I- um. I didn´t know you and Taylor still talked?” He asks carefully and Buck looks over at him, but he keeps a blank face and his eyes on the road.
“We didn´t. But I met her for a coffee last week.”
“Hmm.” Eddie´s quiet for a moment. “Just- I don´t trust her, ok? Be careful.”
“She's not that bad, Eddie. I promise.” The man just raises an eyebrow and throws him a glance before focusing on the road again and Buck sighs. He gets why the man doesn't trust her. She did throw them all under the bus a few years back, but he really doesn't think she'll do anything like that again.
“I needed her help.” He confesses quietly, fiddling a bit with the strap of his bag in his lap.
“With what?”
“Finding someone.” He swallows the lump in his throat. “Finding Brad.”
At this Eddie flinches and stares at him before snapping his eyes back at the road.
“You- Why on earth would you want to find him?” He asks with disbelief.
"He's here. He’s in LA.”
Eddie doesn´t say anything, but Buck can see the muscles in his jaw work as he clenches it hard. The rest of the ride is silent until Eddie comes to a stop on his driveway, parking the truck.
“Can you please tell me what's going on?” Eddie´s plea is low and Buck nods, turning a bit in his seat to face him.
“It's not much to tell to be honest. I thought I saw him when we went to buy all that stuff for Ash, but I dismissed it because I wasn't sure. And then-” He hesitates for a moment before he continues. “He showed up at the firehouse. He was standing on the other side of the road, smirking at me, but we got called out before I could approach him. I just want to know why he's here. So I called Taylor, asked her if she could dig something up for me.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” Eddie asks quietly and Buck squirms a bit in his seat.
“There was barely anything to tell, he hasn't done anything. It´s not-”
“ Don't tell me it's nothing.” Eddie interrupts heatedly. “Your abusive ex-boyfriend is showing up at your place of work. That's not nothing, Evan.” Buck notices how Eddie´s knuckles go white as he tightens his grip around the steering wheel.
“It might be nothing. That's what I wanted to find out, that's why I asked Taylor to look into it.”
“Why Taylor though? Why not Athena?”
“Because then I´ll have to tell her the whole story. Tay doesn´t ask as many questions.”
Eddie looks at him with sad eyes and reaches out his hand to intertwine their fingers.
“Ok, I get it. But promise you´ll tell me if he shows up again?”
“Promise.” Eddie doesn't seem completely satisfied and his eyes have a worried glint in them, but there's not much more Buck can do to assure him.
They go inside and Buck calls Taylor back, only to find out that she has not been able to find anything. She promises to keep on digging but he has a bad feeling in his stomach.
The next two weeks go by quickly. Buck doesn't see Brad again and he manages to push it aside. He lives with the giddy feeling in his chest and his restraint is tested more often than not when it comes to keeping his hands off Eddie at the firehouse. He succeeded, most of the time. But there might have been an incident involving his very hot partner, and his muscles on display as he worked out in the gym, that ended with him dragging him into the supply closet and had Buck on his knees within 5 minutes. Eddie had blushed furiously everytime Buck looked at him for the rest of the shift and he can't help feeling a bit smug about it, even if Eddie keeps on muttering about being professionals and that he would´ve never been able to look their colleagues in the face again if they would´ve been caught. The man did not, however, complain one bit when he was deep down in Buck's throat so he doesn't take the complaining too seriously.
He spends most of the nights in Eddie´s bed, sneaking out in the morning before Chris gets up, and they have breakfast together as usual. The thought of telling Chris about them kinda scares him, he knows the kid loves him, but as his dad´s best friend. It's a bit different being his boyfriend. They decided to give it a couple of more weeks before talking to Chris, and even if Buck is nervous, Eddie´s completely confident that his son will only be ecstatic about the new arrangement. And when they´re all cuddled together on the couch, he´s inclined to believe him.
Buck jumps out of the jeep, whistling low to himself as he grabs the bag of groceries. Eddie had looked at him with his puppy eyes at the end of their shift and asked if he could make lasagna for dinner, and maybe there is a man strong enough to deny Eddie Diaz something out there in the world, but it's not him. And either way, he enjoys cooking for them. He walks up to the house and frowns a bit when he notices that the door is unlocked, but Eddie did know he was on his way so he probably just didn't bother.
“Hello?” He kicks off his shoes and drops the keys in the bowl next to the door, padding into the living room. He notices Eddie standing in the doorway into the kitchen, back against him.
“Eds?” He calls again and frowns a bit when there´s no response or reaction whatsoever, and he walks closer to the man, noticing his tense posture.
“Eddie? You ok? What´s goi-” He halts in his steps when he gets a look at the man's face, on it's a grim look and clenched jaw, steel in his eyes as he stares into the room, and a chill runs down Buck´s spine. He steps up next to him and slowly looks into the room, not sure what to expect.
As soon as his eyes catch it, the bag slips out of his hand, the sound of it hitting the floor agonizingly high in the otherwise quiet house, and still he doesn´t notice. His mind is completely on what´s in front of him, he sees it but he can't understand it, the picture so unbearably wrong.
“Hello, love. About time you joined us. We´ve been waiting.”
His voice is smooth like silk, and once upon a time it would be something Buck craved, longed for. But now the familiar voice sends another chill down his spine, and at the same time he feels the fury ignite in his blood at what he sees.
Brad is seated at Eddie's kitchen table, properly dressed in a dark blue button down and beige slacks, and with his hair styled and one of those expensive watches he likes on his wrist. Like he's on his way into a fucking business meeting. And just the fact that he's here would by itself have been enough for Buck to throw a fit.
But what makes his blood boil is that the man has a firm grip of Christopher's shoulder, and a knife pressed against the boy's throat.
Chapter 12
Summary:
Bit of a warning that the chapter contains blood, angst and injury
Chapter Text
“Chris-” Buck automatically takes a step towards them but stops abruptly when Brad presses the knife harder against Chris´s throat, making the boy whimper.
“Ah-uh.” He warns. “Not another step. I´ve already gone over this with pretty boy over there, and I do not like to repeat myself. So be a good boy and behave, put your phone in the sink and stand back.”
Buck slowly walks over to the sink and picks up his phone, he notices that the bottom of it is filled with water and Eddie´s phone is already under the surface. He drops his own with a low splash before he heads back over to Eddie and stands next to him, careful not to make any hasty moves.
“What do you want?” He asks. He can't stop looking at Chris´s scared face and he feels how the anger is radiating out from the man next to him. Brad angles his head, looking him over with a thoughtful look.
“What, no, how are you? No, what have you been up to? That´s rather rude Evan. We haven't talked in a long time. Must say you look good. Put on some muscles since we hang out. Firefighting suits you.” Buck forces himself not to squirm under the man's heavy gaze that trails over him.
“I´m not playing any games with you Brad, what do you want? Chris hasn't done anything to you. Let him go.”
“You right, he hasn't. But I´ve been keeping an eye on you for a while now, and you seem to care a great deal about him. Don´t you? That little event on the street was proof of that.” The man smirks and Buck feels the blood leave his face. He sees Eddie move in the corner of his eye and he quickly reaches out to stop him from surging forward.
“I- you-” Buck takes a deep breath to try to calm down. “Was it you? Did you run him over?” His voice is ice and he can feel Eddie tremble under his grip. Brad just raises an bored eyebrow at them.
“No. I did not. I saw who did, though.” The man smirks again and Buck has a rush of desire to knock his perfect teeth out of his mouth. “Was some old grandpa, was swirling all over the road, either he was drunk or just almost dead and delirious, looked old enough for it. Doubt he even noticed he hit the kid, just kept going afterwards. That man should seriously get his license revoked. Fucking hazzard on the road, him. Drove some old blue sedan. Parked down the block in a garage.”
Buck swears under his breath, throwing a look over at Eddie next to him and sees that he's pale. By the description it seems to have been Mr. Peterson, an old man in his nineties that lives a few houses down from Eddie and Chris. They´ve talked to his granddaughter a few times, and Buck swears here and now that he'll call Athena the first chance he gets to make sure the man never gets behind the wheel again.
“Worked out good for me though.” Buck narrows his eyes at Brad in anger, not daring to open his mouth. “I got to see first hand that you´re still able to do that freaky thing you do. You´re a bit more subtle at your calls, couldn´t be sure. But out there on the street you throw it all in the wind, no care in the world who saw you.” He shakes Chris´s shoulder lightly and leans towards him. “You should choose your friends more carefully, kid. Not everyone is who they say they are, some people, like Evan over there, hides the truth.” Chris' lips is trembling and tears are pooling in his eyes as he flinches and tries to lean away from Brad, clearly uncomfortable near him.
“Don't listen to him, Christopher.” Eddie´s voice is calm beside him and he meets his son's eyes. “It's gonna be ok.”
Brad raises an eyebrow at him.
“Big promises. Sure you can keep them?”
Eddie doesn't answer, or even bothers to give him a glance, just calmly looks at Chris. And Buck´s patience is starting to run low as the anger and anxiety swirls through him.
“Brad, what do you want ? Why are you even here?”
“To get you.”
Buck and Eddie both freeze up at this, and Buck stares at him dumbfounded.
“What?” He asks bewildered.
“You're coming with me.” Brad says, suddenly all pretenses dropped and his eyes cold and hard as he stands up, pulling Chris hard against him with the knife still pressed against his throat. “And this one will come with us, to make sure you behave.”
Buck stares at him, not sure what to do with it.
“I- Why?”
Brad narrows his eyes and takes a few steps away from the table, still with Chris pressed closed against him.
“There's zip ties in the bag.” Buck hadn't seen the small plastic bag on the table before, too occupied with the man and the boy, but now he notices it and frowns at it.
“Zip his hands together on his back, and fasten him to the stove.” Brad gestures at Eddie with his head and Buck feels his stomach drop.
“Brad-”
“ Now! ” Buck flinches at the raised voice and looks over at Eddie, uncertain what to do.
“Take me.” Eddie´s voice sounds calm, and if Buck didn´t know it as well as he did, he wouldn't hear the desperation in it. “He's just a boy, if you want leverage, let him go and take me instead.”
Brad stares at him but Buck already sees in his eyes that it's pointless.
“No. Evan, tie him up. Now . I won't ask again.”
Buck slowly walks over and picks up the bag before standing behind Eddie, zipping his hands together. The man doesn´t resist, just quietly lets Buck immobilize him, the knife against his sons throat enough to not put up a fight even if Buck can tell how tense the man is. He wishes he had something, anything, to give the man to get free with, but he got nothing. Not even his keys. They walk over to the oven and he puts another zip tie through the handle of the hatch and the one tying Eddie´s hands, effectively fastening him to it and lets a hand rest on the man's wrist as he looks at him. Eddie meets his eyes, and he can see the storm of emotions swirling around in them, his jaw clenched tight.
“Get back to the wall.” Buck gives Eddie a last look before he backs away, his hand sliding off him, and takes the steps over and waits. He tries to discreetly look around, to see if there's anything he can use as a weapon, but there´s nothing he´ll reach without Brad noticing.
Brad walks over to Eddie, making sure he's tied to his satisfaction and Buck sees how Chris holds onto his dads pants hard in his small hand when he comes close enough to reach, and the sight breaks his heart. Brad leans close towards Eddie and whispers something in his ear, too low for Buck to head. But whatever it is, is something that breaks through Eddie´s cool exterior, and he throws himself at the man, fury blasting in his eyes. The zipties prevent him from going very far and Buck winces at the thought of them digging into his skin.
“You son of a bitch.” Eddie´s voice is deadly calm and a shiver runs down Buck´s spine.
Brad just smirks at him and harshly moves Chris to the side while he leans over to Eddie again, and this time when he's whispering in his ear, Eddie´s eyes snaps over at Buck´s, staring at him.
And maybe, if he hadn't been so engrossed by the familiar, brown eyes, he would´ve noticed what was going on. But as it is now, he just sees Eddie´s eyes glaze over, the air being punched out of his lungs as a shocked look takes over his face, and his unfocused gaze falls away from Buck’s.
“ Dad! ”
Chris' cry makes Buck flinch and he moves his eyes in time to see Brad remove the knife from Eddie´s stomach, covered in blood as the man stumbles to try to stay upright.
“ Eddie! ”
Buck throws himself towards him, but before he's taken more than two steps, Brad once again has the now bloody knife against Chris´s throat, and he stops abruptly in his step. The boy is crying and squirming in the man’s grip but he holds him easily, and Buck don´t think he's ever felt that much hatred directed towards another human being in his life before.
“Time to go.” Brad gestures for Buck to move towards the door, but he doesn't move.
“Brad, you gotta let me help him. We can't leave him like this.” He tries to keep his voice steady despite the ice in his veins and fear heavy in his throat, not wanting to scare Chris more than necessary, but the blood is pouring out of Eddie's wound, coloring the fabric of the blue t-shirt, and the man is quickly becoming more and more pale by every passing second.
“No.”
“Brad-”
“I said no .”
Buck stares at him and for a moment he considers to walk over to Eddie anyway, but then Brad narrows his eyes at him, and takes a firmer grip around Chris. The knife against the boys neck smudges his skin red with his fathers blood, and Buck feels bile rise in his throat at the sight.
“You got two choices, Evan. One. You walk out that door and into the car without hustle. If you cooperate I'll call 9-1-1 and send them here when we´ve been on the road for 45 minutes.”
“He won't make it 45 minu-” Buck feels desperation build inside him as he tries to plead to the man, his voice raised in frustration, but he just interrupts him.
“The second choice is that I drag this brat out to the car, and give him a matching cut to daddy dearest. Then you’ll have to choose who to save. It's up to you how difficult you want this to be.”
“Buck- go.” Eddie´s voice is strained and when Buck looks over at him he can tell that he uses the last of his strength to keep up straight.
“Eddie-” Tears are burning in his eyes at the hopeless situation, and he stares at the man in despair, desperately wanting to go over to him, to touch him and comfort him, to hold him close and make sure he´ll be fine. But even if Brad gave him two choices, there really isn't a choice at all.
“I'll be fine.” Eddie´s pained eyes pleads at him, silently begging him to take care of Chris. To make sure he is safe.
And there’s a lot Buck wants to say at this moment, too much to fit in the small amount of time they have, but still something that can be merged into a few words. And he opens his mouth, just to close it again, not able to get the syllables out of his mouth, torn between desperately wanting to tell him and at the same time not wanting the words to be a farewell.
When Eddie meets his gaze again his eyes go soft and for a short moment the pain is gone as he smiles, and the whisper says everything the words don’t.
“I know. Me too. Now go .”
It goes against every fiber in his body to leave Eddie behind, but Buck nods and takes a reluctant step back, then another one. Before he turns around and walks towards the door with Brad and Chris close behind him, the boy´s heartbreaking cries for his dad in his ears as Brad drags him along. Buck throws one last look back towards Eddie, his breath hitching in his throat when he notices the man now slumped down on one knee as he leans heavily against the stow. He meets his brown eyes before Brad harshly pushes him towards the door and he walks out with his last ounce of strength, praying that it won't be the last time he'll see him.
They´ve been driving for 20 minutes, Buck´s in the driver's seat while Brad is in the back next to Chris. The boy is silently crying and Buck wishes he could scoop him up and hold him close.
“Can you please call the ambulance? He's losing too much blood.” He throws another look at the clock on the dashboard, 21 minutes. The image of Eddie, pale and bloody, is burned into his brain and he grabs hard on the steering wheel to keep his hands from trembling.
“45 minutes, Evan. That was the deal. Don't make me extend it even further.”
Buck resists the urge to punch the wheel, the anger, worry and desperation swirling around inside of him.
“Why are you doing this? What is it you want?”
Brad meets his eyes in the rearview mirror, and Buck shivers at the slow smile stretching over the man's face.
“That little thing you do? Turns out people are actually prepared to pay quite a lot of money for someone to save their loved ones. Weird accidents happen all the time, and if I would to help out a bit so that something was to happen to someone, and then I just happen to be there to offer them a bit of help. Well. Let's just say I already got some customers waiting for us. They´re gonna be so grateful when we arrive.”
Buck feels himself go numb in shock.
“You can't be serious.” He whispers horrified.
“Deadly. Ha! Fitting term, aint it.” Brad chuckles for himself at the inappropriate joke and Buck stares at the road ahead of him, covering his mouth with a hand while he tries to think. The man is sick. Seriously sick in the head. He used to be kind, funny, flirty. But this man, this is someone Buck doesn't know. Something made him change the last few years and has somehow turned him into a psychopath.
He throws another glance at the clock, 26 minutes, and swears under his breath, how can the time go so slow? He meets Chris´s gaze in the rearview mirror, trying to give the boy a comforting smile, but it feels more like a grimace to himself.
He keeps on driving, Brad humming along to the radio in the back seat and Chris´s sniffling is filling the car. And finally the digital numbers tick over into 45 minutes.
“Brad. It's been 45 minutes. Please , I´ve done what you asked.” His voice is shaky and he tries not to think about the amount of blood Eddie will have lost in 45 minutes.
“Well, I guess a promise is a promise.” Buck holds his breath as he watches in the mirror how the man takes out a cellphone and dials.
“I need to request an ambulance to 4753 Ocana Avenue, there's a man with a stabbing wound in the residence.” Buck lets out an relieved breath, hoping to god that the man actually did call 9-1-1 and didn't fake it. But before he can even think of asking to see the number, Brad hangs up and rolls down the window, before throwing the phone out.
“Happy?” He asks with a raised eyebrow and Buck grits his teeth.
“Where are we going?” He asks instead of answering.
“Don´t you worry your pretty head about that. Just stick to this road, I´ll give you directions as we go.”
Chapter Text
They keep on driving for another few hours. The sky has become dark and the flashing lights of passing cars are reflecting in the windscreen. Chris has fallen asleep in the back seat but Buck can tell it's a restless one, he whimpers and moves around as the dreams hunt him, and for every anxious sound the kid makes Buck feels his heart break a little bit more. He doesn't know what's best, to let the boy sleep or to wake him into the nightmare that they´re currently living.
He can´t stop thinking about Eddie. It's been 193 minutes since Brad called the ambulance. Did they arrive in time? Is he at the hospital? He can see the scene in his mind, the ambulance and police car that would've pulled up in front of the house, red and blue lights playing over the surfaces as they enters the house. Maybe it would be Athena. Was the man still conscious? Was he still alive ?
He bites back a sob and tears are pooling in his eyes, his hands hugging the steering wheel tightly. He can't imagine a life without Eddie, and he doesn't want to. He refuses to believe that fate would be so cruel to take him away from him just when they finally found their way to each other, and the guilt sits heavy on his chest. He’s the one who brought Brad into their lives. Rationally he knows it’s not his fault, but it doesn’t keep him from feeling like it is, and it slowly kills him inside that he doesn’t know if Eddie has survived.
A single tear escapes down his cheek and he quickly dries it off before Brad notices and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He looks at Chris in the mirror and sees the frown on the boy's forehead even in his sleep, the blood from the knife is still on his throat and shirt, dried up to a rusty color against the pale skin, and he´s glad Chris hasn´t been in front of a mirror to see it himself. He meets Brad's eyes in the and talks quietly in the dark car.
“We've been driving for hours. We need a break.”
“I´m pretty fine back here. And the kid gets his rest it seems.” Brad´s voice is bored and Buck grits his teeth.
“Yeah, well I'm the one driving, and I need a break if you don't want me to drive off the road. And the car needs gas anyway.”
At this Brad huffs in annoyance.
“Fine. Drive off at the next gas station.”
A few minutes later he comes to a stop next to the gas pump and turns off the ignition with an exhausted sigh, his body drained of energy. He turns slightly in his seat and looks back to Chris, meeting the boy's wide eyes staring back at him.
“Hi bud, you doing ok?” He reaches a hand back and squeezes the boy's knee, ignoring Brad´s warning sound, and focusing completely on the boy. He´s fucking tired of the man´s bullshit, and if he can provide any sort of comfort to the boy by the simple touch, he will. Chris' lip is wobbling and he can tell that the boy is exhausted as well, even with the nap he had. But he nods anyway and Buck feels a surge of pride at how brave the kid is.
“You´re being so brave, kiddo.” He whispers and tries to ignore how Brad rolls his eyes in the corner of his eyes.
“Alright, that's enough.” Brad snaps. “Fill up the car, we´ll wait here.” Buck glares at him before getting out, and he keeps a close eye at them through the windows as he waits for the fuel to fill up. When it's done he opens the door to the driver seat, but doesn't get in.
“We need food and drinks, Brad. He hasn't eaten for hours.”
“No food. Get in and keep on driving.” Buck considers trying to persuade him, but the tone of the man´s voice keeps him on edge, making him careful about his moves, and he gets in without another word, pulling away from the station and back out on the dark highway.
They drive for another hour before Brad talks again.
“Take the next exit and keep to the right.” Buck follows the directions without a word and half an hour later they drive up to a parking lot next to an apartment complex. It looks fairly new, the plants around them not yet fully grown and the cement and asphalt still clean and whole, the weather and external factors yet to make their marks. They get out of the car and Buck´s body screams at him from being in the car for so long. But he follows Brad and Chris into the apartment and up the steps. The building is quiet in the late night and their steps seem loud in the hallway. He can tell on the way Chris stumbles how tired the boy is, and when Brad drags him harshly behind him he sees red.
“ Hey . Be careful, will you? He's tired, at least let me carry him.” Brad just throws a glance at him before keep walking and Buck is about to step forward when the man stops in front of one of the doors, unlocking it and steps inside. Buck slowly follows and closes the door behind him as he looks around. It's an empty apartment, two doors to the left and one to the right. He thinks there's some kind of kitchen further down the hall but before he can confirm Brad has walked into one of the doors to the left, and Buck hurries to follow, not wanting to get Chris out of his sight. The room they enter is just as empty, not even a window in it, just a dim light in the ceiling.
“Sit down. Hands behind your back and tie them up.” Brad throws another zip tie at his feet and Buck glares at him before he kneels down, making a circle with the band before moving his hands behind him and putting them through it, dragging the cord to lock them. Brad walks around him and pulls them tighter, and if it was in another circumstance he might have grimaced at the tight sting, but at the moment he doesn't have it in him to care. When the man seems happy enough he takes another one and ties Christopher's hands as well, making the boy wince at the harsh treatment.
“Alright. Sit tight, and don't try anything stupid. For every stupid thing you do, the boy will pay. Understood?” Brad waits until Buck gives a stiff nod before he walks out the room, locking the door behind him.
As soon as the door clicks shut Buck gets up on his knees and walks over on them to Chris where he´s slumped against the wall, pressing in close at his side. He buries his face in the boy's hair and feels tears burning in his eyes at the relief of finally having him close. He feels the small body shake next to him as Chris tries to press as close as he can. He presses kisses on top of the boy's head as he mumbles soothing words, doing whatever he can to comfort the kid, but feeling completely useless just the same. His shirt is getting damp with Chris´s tears where he´s managed to bury his face against Buck and he wishes he could put his arms around him. Eventually the sobs quiets down though and even though Buck´s arms and back are killing him in the uncomfortable position, he doesn't dare to move.
“Buck?” Chris whispers, muffled against his shirt, and he has to strain his ears to hear him.
“Yeah, bud?”
“Do you think dad is ok?”
He desperately wants to tell the boy that of course he´s ok. He'll be waiting for them when they get back home, and he´ll burn their pancakes in the morning, just as always, and Buck will have to save them, just as always, and then they will have a wonderful day together before he will tuck him in at night and read him a story.
But he can't get the words out, the image of the bloody knife sliding out of the man's stomach is burned into his brain, and he can't lie to the boy.
“I don´t know, Chris. I hope so.” He eventually whispers.
He has no idea how long they're in there for. Since there's no windows he can´t tell if it is day or night and the apartment is quiet. Brad does show up for a few minutes with some sandwiches and water and lets them use the restroom, though. Chris falls asleep with his head resting in Buck´s lap almost immediately after, and Buck does try to stay awake, to keep watch. But the events of the day, as well as the shift beforehand, is eventually taking its toll and no matter how hard he fights it, his eyelids eventually fall shut.
He is awoken by something outside their door, as he slowly blinks his eyes open he listens and it seems to be voices, but he can't tell how many or gender. There´s some doors closing before the lock to their room turns and Brad opens the door.
“Wakey, wakey Evan. Time to go to work.”
The man walks in and lifts Christopher up from where he was still asleep against Buck, and the boy lets out a whimper from the harsh awakening. Buck is still working his way up from the floor when Brad takes out a syringe from his pocket, removes the protective lid with his mouth and presses it against Chris´s neck, pressing the transparent liquid into the flesh. Buck´s heart stops at the sight and he watches in horror how the kids eyes fall shut within seconds.
“What the hell did you do ?!” His voice is hoarse with fear and he quickly scrambles the rest of the way up on his feet, his arms are numb from still being tied behind his back and the zip tie digs into his raw and sore skin, but none of it matters as he watches Brad sink the unconscious boy on the floor.
“He´s fine. And he will keep that way, as long as you do as you're told.”
Before Buck´s able to sink down next to Chris, Brad grabs his arm, keeping him away and Buck seriously considers biting him, just to get free, but he did hear what the man wasn't saying. So he stares at the man instead, his body tense, and he's sure Brad can see the hatred in his eyes.
“And if I don't?” He's afraid to ask but he needs to know.
“Then I won't go get and give him the second dose that'll wake him up.” Brad says it casually, like he didn't just threaten to kill a 8-year old boy. But the blood turns to ice in Buck's veins, and he lowers his gaze, defeated, the man´s in control, and he knows it.
He drags Buck out of the room into the hallway and removes the zip tie, his arms are on fire as he moves them carefully, rolling his shoulders and rubbing his sore muscles. Thereafter Brad drags him into the room across the hallway and Buck blinks confused as he enters.
The beige room has a hospital bed in it, as well as a chair next to it, as if it would’ve been an examination room. There´s some green plants in the corner and landscape pictures on the wall. A lamp next to the bed throws a soft glow over the room and green curtains are surrounding the window. Considering the light outside Buck would guess it's late afternoon and at the realization he feels a stab of pain in his stomach, the hunger making itself known as the sandwiches Brad got them was not nearly enough.
He ignores his empty stomach though, and focuses on the figures at the bed. It's a woman lying there, maybe in her 40's, her skin is pale with a yellowish tone to it and her eyes are tired. Her once brown hair has strings of gray in it and looks lifeless, and she seems very small in the big shirt she's wearing. She´s clearly very sick and Buck feels a stab of sympathy for her.
Next to her is another woman, a bit younger, well dressed and her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She holds the hand of the older one and talks softly as they enter, but when she notices them her eyes light up and she smiles happily at her- friend? Sister? Buck isn't sure.
“Hello, Miss Donovan, Mrs Jones.” Brad smiles at them and for a moment Buck can see the man he used to know, the accommodating and kind person. His voice is soft and soothing for the women in front of them. “I hope your wait was pleasant, I have brought Evan as promised, and he will help you.”
Buck´s stomach sinks at the implication of the man's words but before he can say anything the younger woman turns to him with big eyes.
“Oh! It's so great to meet you, and I'm so grateful that you will help my sister! The doctors kept saying there was nothing more to do, and that we should prepare ourselves, but I knew there was more. I just knew it in my heart. And then I met Eric, and everything just fell into place.” She looks at Brad and it takes a moment for him to realize that Eric is Brad, that he must have used a fake name. “A lot of people are skeptical against alternative medicine but I just knew we needed to do this. And I finally saved up for it, but it doesn't matter how much your fee is, if you can help my sister, it's worth it.”
And for a moment Buck just stands there, stunned and horrified, about how the man is using this sister's pain for his own gain. The poor woman is almost crying with hope and the prospect of him healing her sister, and it breaks his heart to know he won't be able to.
When he had gained control over his gift he went to a hospital when he was in his early twenties. He wanted to help, and see if he could. He sneaked into every, single floor, every unit, and visited every sick patient in the building. And he couldn't help any of them. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't save them. Or remove their pain.
The last floor he went to was the pediatric ward. He went from room to room, and talked to the sick children. His heart breaking for every young life he couldn't save. And when he left in the end of the day he was worn out and drained, disappointed in himself and doubting his gift.
He gives the woman a tight smile before turning to Brad.
“Can I talk to you? Outside ?” He hisses at him and walks out of the room without waiting for an answer, harshly rubbing his face. When he hears the door close he spins around, the quick movement makes Brad take a step back and for a second he feels satisfaction, but then the rage takes over.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! How can you use them like that? Trying to earn money from their pain?” He keeps his voice down, not wanting to scare the women, but his voice is heavy with anger and his body is trembling with uncontrolled rage and fear of knowing he won't be able to do what the man wants.
Brad narrows his eyes at him and takes a step closer.
“Be careful, Evan. Or that brat you care so much about won't see the sun rise in the morning. Now get in there , and make sure I´ll get paid.” He sneers with cold eyes.
“I can´t . It doesn't work like that!” Buck gets a sinking feeling in his stomach when Brad´s face goes red with fury, his eyes going black, and for a moment in his mind he sees the fists coming at him again.
“Don't bullshit me, Evan. You know it won't end well for you. Now get in there!”
“Brad- yo-you need to listen to me. It doesn't work on illnesses, it only works on injuries! I-I would fix her if I could, but I can´t .” His voice is starting to sound desperate, he's terrified Chris will pay the price for him not being able to.
Brad takes a quick step up to him and grabs the front of his shirt, slamming him into the wall behind him, and Buck has to bite back a wince at the hard impact. The man leans in close, his hot breath noticeable against Buck´s cheek and he represses a shiver at the uncomfortable feeling.
“I've already put you in your place once before, Evan.” He hisses angry at him and Buck feels the blood leave his face at the memory. “I will do it again if needed. Have I made myself clear?” He presses in closer, his hand moving up towards Buck´s throat as he puts pressure on it.
“Brad-”
But before he can say anything else, the door to the apartment flies open with a loud bang.
“Get down on your knees! Now !”
At first Buck doesn't register who it is, just that unknown people are entering the apartment, and his mind only has one thing in it. Christopher . He throws himself towards the door to the room where the boy is lying, completely defenseless and unprotected. And when hands are grabbing him before he reaches it, he trashes around, pulling punches wherever he can reach, fighting like a mad-man to get free, before he´s overpowered and strong hands are pressing him down on the floor, holding him still. He continues to trash around, fighting to get the person of him, as he yells out for the boy. He's not aware of what's happening around him, just that he can't move , and that Chris is on his own, and there's nothing more important in the world than to get to him at this moment.
“Jesus, Calm down, Buckley! ” At the sound of his name he freezes up and the surroundings slowly come back to him. He realizes that there's two strangers holding him down, and when he throws a glance over his shoulder he sees that they are wearing uniforms. They´re the police. Help has arrived.
The relief explodes in his chest and he slumps down on the floor, feeling how the grip on him eases up a bit.
“I-I´m s-sorry.” He stutters. “Can I p-please get up? Christopher, there's a boy in the other room, I- I need to go to him, please?” He begs with a broken voice.
“Of course, we´ll let you up now, easy movements, ok?” The officer says and Buck obeys as he gets up on his feet as quick as he can, without doing any hasty movements. He sees that the door to the room is already open and when he goes inside he sees the paramedics already working on the boy.
The next 30 minutes are intense, the paramedics give Chris something to wake him up and Buck cries with relief when the boy blinks his eyes open, and he immediately takes him into his arms, holding him tight against his chest as they cry and comfort each other. Brad has been arrested by the police and is already gone from the apartment. The two women in the other room are completely devastated by the events and Buck can hear them cry from where he's sitting with Chris in his arms, not willing to let him go even for the paramedics to check him over. They clear him pretty shortly afterwards and while one of them are giving the boy some energy bars and juice, Buck moves over to the other one, still within eyeshoot of the boy.
“I-I´m sorry, but could I please borrow your phone?” His heart is hammering in his chest as he gratefully accepts the phone from the woman and his hands shaking as he enters the numbers and press dial. It only goes out a couple of signals before he answers, but for Buck it feels like forever.
“ Hello? ”
“Bobby, It´s Buck.”
“ Thank good. Are you ok? What the hell happened? Are you with Christopher? ” Buck can hear the worried tone of his captain, but he also feels like there's something more there. Something that chills him to the bones.
“Y-yeah, we´re ok. But Bobby, did you get, is-” He breaks off and swallows the lump in his throat before he tries again. “Eddie. Is he- please tell me he's ok.” He only manages to whisper the last part, scared to voice the question.
The line goes quiet and the only sound he can distinguish is Bobby's shaky exhalation before he swallows, gathering up strength.
And Buck knows. Before the man has gathered the strength to say the words. Before the devastated voice comes over the line, he knows.
Chapter Text
Buck feels his body rock slightly with the motions of the car, as they turn right and heads down onto the highway, speeding up to get to the limit. He's leaning slightly against the door in the back seat, Chris tucked into his side with Buck´s arm around his thin shoulders in a firm grip, holding him close. Once in a while he buries his face in the boy's curls, breathing in the familiar smell of his shampoo and kisses it softly, still feeling the ghost of the fear he has felt during the last 24 hours. And so grateful that he is here, safe.
The two officers are in the front seats, speaking quietly to each other, but Buck doesn't bother trying to make out what they are talking about. He doesn't care.
He looks out the window and the passing landscape flying by as the car moves. The sun is about to set and throws an orange light over it. 24 hours. It's only been just above 24 hours since he walked into Eddie's house with the groceries. And since then everything has changed. He lives a day-to-day life where minutes matters, and still it feels foreign to him that so much can happen in such a short amount of time. It makes him feel numb. Empty.
Chris moves restlessly against his side in his sleep and he tightens his grip around him, rubbing his arm soothingly and hushes quietly, trying to comfort. Tears are burning behind his eyelids as he holds him close, trying to create a feeling of safety. Eventually the boy settles again, burying his face in Buck´s chest in his sleep and letting out a low sigh. Buck leans his face onto the top of his head, and the soft strands are getting damp of the escaping tears, silently falling down his cheeks, as the car rolls down the highway, taking them home.
“Eddie. Is he- please tell me he's ok.”
The line goes quiet and the only sound he can distinguish is Bobby's shaky exhalation before he swallows.
“Buck-” The man´s voice breaks and Buck feels the world crumble underneath him.
“N-no. Bobby…” He turns around, hiding his face from Chris´s view, and walks out of the room on shaky legs.
“I´m so sorry, Buck. He-” The man lets out a sob and Buck´s legs can´t hold him upright anymore. He slides down the wall, landing on the floor with a low thump as he presses the phone against his ear, hard enough that his knuckles go white and it hurts his ear, but he barely notices and he covers his eyes with his other hand. Like if he can block out the world, then he can escape this as well.
“He lost too much blood, the body could not produce enough oxygen to the brain. T-they did everything they could. They pronounced him braindead 2 hours ago, Buck. I´m so sorry..”
And there it was. He feels his body shut down, the shock making everything go numb and his hands falls down, lying limp on the floor next to him. He can tell that Bobby is still talking to him, a low noise from the tiny speaker in the phone in his hand, but he can´t hear what he's saying, it feels like he's floating in a void, not aware of his surroundings.
The car jerks as they drive over a small hole in the road and Buck blinks, lifting his head and dries his cheeks with his hand. His head hurts and he's exhausted. The paramedics attended to his wrists and wrapped them with bandages, after applying some soothing cream on them, and it's itching against his skin. It's still a three hour drive before they're back in Los Angeles, and he fears their arrival as much as he wishes he was already there.
He doesn't know how long he sits on the floor, staring into nothingness, but eventually the paramedic comes out to get him, telling him that the officers will have to talk to them, to take their statements, before they ́ll drive them home.
He sits with Christopher in his lap, rubbing his back as he talks quietly with the officers, so brave and thorough through his statement, even though Buck can tell that he´s drained and sad. When they’re done with both Chris and Buck, they walk them out to a police car and finally they can go back home, and by now Buck has the bigger picture of most of the events.
After Buck and Eddie had left the station Eddie had gone straight home while Buck went shopping for the groceries. Carla had been watching Chris and she only gave a short update before heading out with a happy ‘Good night!’. Chris had been seated at the kitchen table, doing his homework, and Eddie had gone to change his clothes. The boy had not heard the kitchen door opening behind him, just felt a hand over his mouth and a knife against his throat. The whisper in his ear had scared him and he tried hard not to cry. ‘Stay still and quiet, or your daddy is dead. Understood?’ It had not taken long before Eddie was back, changed into more comfortable clothes. Chris said he had never seen his dad look so angry before, as when he noticed Brad in the kitchen. It hadn't been too long before Buck had shown up after that.
The police explained that they had gotten a phone call from Sergeant Grant, LAPD.
Taylor had finally found Brad, or Eric Moore, as he called himself. He had been in Los Angeles for a few months, living in a cheap motel on the outskirts. His old colleagues had told her he had become a bit strange of late, acting weird and saying worrying things, before he suddenly disappeared. No one really tried looking for him, relieved that he was gone, more than anything. She had found an ad he had used, where he promised the healing of the impossible for a fair amount of money. She had gone over to the motel, wanting to have a look, and found the door unlocked. Inside were pictures and schedules, of Buck, Eddie and Christopher. Along with information about the 118 and the rooster.
She had tried to get ahold of Buck, but since his phone was drenched in the sink she just got to voicemail, she tried Eddie with the same results, and then eventually she called Athena. Athena and Bobby had driven over to Eddie´s house and found the man unconscious in the kitchen. His wrists were completely torn where he had tried to get free and blood all over the floor.
Brad had rented a car under the fake name, and thankfully had not disabled the gps. They found that the car had stopped in Fresno, just south of San Francisco, and Athena had called their police department, explaining the events.
Buck realizes that they´re lucky, that Taylor found out when she did. Who knows how long it would’ve taken for anyone to notice something was wrong otherwise. They had 48 hours off, and it's not uncommon that Buck and Eddie spend them together. He swallows the lump in his throat of the thought of the man being stuck alone in the house for that amount of time. As well as what would have happened if the police hadn't showed up when they did.
They drive for another couple of hours, but eventually they arrive in Los Angeles, the city hovering around them in the dark streets as they navigate to get to Cedars hospital. As they pull up at the entrance Buck thanks the men and carefully lifts Christopher up. The boy is still asleep as he arranges him on his hip with a secure grip, before he carries him through the doors.
He doesn´t need to stop at the reception to ask for directions, he has spent way too much time in the building to know where to go and he walks the halls in a daze. He's not taking in the doctor's that are running past him, or the beeping of the machines or the distinct smell. He completely focuses on the boy in his arms, and just takes one step at the time, until he reaches the door leading into the waiting room for the ICU. He stops for a moment and stares at them, on the other side is his family, and his heart longs for them. But he also knows what he will meet, pale faces and teary eyes, heartbroken and grieving looks on their faces. He takes a deep breath to steady himself and presses a kiss on Chris' head. He hasn't told him yet. He couldn´t. Not before he had seen it for himself. But he knows he can't protect him from the truth much longer.
When he steps into the room heads turn against him, and at first there´s no motion. Just blank stares in the pale faces. But then Maddie lets out a sob and it seems to break the spell, and suddenly there's movement all around him.
“Oh my god, Buck .” Maddie throws her arms around them in a tight hug and Chris squirms in his arms as he wakes up from the commotion, blinking confused at the people around them. Chim and Bobby walk up to them with red rimmed eyes, squeezing his shoulders and rubbing Chris´s back, while Hen and Karen watch them from behind them. Chris is still looking around the people in the room, searching, and then his lips start to tremble and he turns his face towards Buck with tears pooling in his eyes.
“Buck, where´s dad?”
Everyone freezes up around them, sad eyes regarding the boy and Buck needs to clear his throat to be able to speak.
“H-he got pretty badly hurt, bud. He's in one of the rooms. I´m gonna go check on him now, ok?” He tries so hard to keep his voice steady, but he can tell he doesn't succeed, the sad look in his friends eyes becoming even more devastated as they watch them.
“I wanna come.” The boy states unhappily.
“I know, I know you do, but let me see him first, ok?”
“ No! I wanna see my dad!” The tears start trailing down his flushed cheeks and he squirms in Buck´s grip, trying to get down. He kneels down and puts the boy on the floor, grabbing his arms when he tries to walk away.
“Chris-”
But the stress and the fear of everything he's been through is finally breaking the dam, and it all is too much for Christopher. He starts crying heavily, his sobs rocking the small body as he tries to get free from Buck´s grip.
“I w-want my daddy..!” He cries and Buck fights hard to keep his own tears at bay as he tries to calm the heartbroken boy. Next to them tears are rolling down Karen´s and Maddie´s cheeks as they watch them, and Chim is rubbing his mouth, a brokenhearted look on his face.
“Chris, please listen to me.” Buck pleads, trying to catch his eyes while stroking the boy's hair. “I promise I´ll take you to him, but I need you to stay with your abuela for now, ok? And then I´ll come get you.” He pulls the boy into his chest, holding him tightly and feels how the small hands are grabbing his shirt tightly as the boy cries against his shoulder. He rubs his back soothingly and eventually he feels how the small body starts to sag against him, the cries not as heavy anymore. He looks up at Isabel who is standing next to them, tears in her eyes as well, and she reaches out to grab Christophers hand.
“Come on, nieto, we´ll wait over here.”
She tugs at Chris´s hand and eventually he goes with her with a teary look at Buck, and it breaks his heart in two. He leans his elbow on his bent knee and rubs his eyes with his hand as he tries to gather the strength to stand back up. He feels a hand rubbing his back and a presence next to him.
“Buck?” Maddie´s voice is soft in his ear and he leans heavily against her for a moment. She circles her arms around his shoulders and presses a kiss on his head as she mumbles comforting nonsens against his hair, and he just wants to let it all go and cry. The familiar feeling of her comforting arms brings back memories of times in their youth, when she was there to help him, comfort him, whenever he was sad.
But not even her embrace can comfort him this time, and he moves away from her embrace and stands up, meeting her gaze.
“Where is he?”
She takes him through the corridors and stops in front of a room where the blinds are shut and the door is closed.
“You want me to come with you?” She asks quietly but he shakes his head.
“No. Just-” He looks around and lowers his voice. “Make sure no one comes inside, ok?”
She hesitates with a worried look in her eyes.
“Buck-”
“Maddie, promise.”
She nods reluctantly before grabbing his hand, squeezing it tightly between her own.
“Evan, I know how much he means to you. I really do, and I know you would do anything for him. God, I´ve seen you do amazing things, and I pray that you'll pull out another miracle. But please be careful. Last time almost killed you. And you've told me it doesn't work when-” She dries away a stray tear from her cheek and meets his eyes again with a sympathetic look. “Y-you´ve said it doesn't work when the injuries are too bad. And- And you know- You know there´s no coming back from this. He is already gone, Buck.” Even if she says is as careful as she can, he still flinches at the blunt words and she gets a devastated look on her face.
And he does know, he knows that it's only machines that´s making Eddie's body work at the moment. That the doctors have given up and that they´re only waiting for permission to turn them off. He knows that there is no cure. No medicine that can fix him. And he's terrified. Terrified that he deep inside is doubting his abilities. That it's too late.
“I have to try.” He whispers with a broken voice, begging her to understand that he has to do this. “It’s Eddie. I-I can't be without him, Maddie.”
“I know, Evan. And I know you have to try. I´m just asking that you´re not taking it too far. Because you have people who love you, baby brother. And people who need you. You have your whole family waiting out there. And you have Christopher. That boy will need you more than ever now. He's already been through enough.”
They stare at each other and eventually he nods, and she lets go of his hand with a last squeeze.
The room is dimly lit when he steps inside, just a lamp in the corner throwing its artificial shine over the surfaces. Buck stares out on the dark world on the other side of the window, the buildings high and lights from the streets illuminating the city. He avoids the bed in the room with his gaze, not ready to see Eddie in it yet. He just hears how the machines are beeping slowly in the quiet room. He closes his eyes for a moment, breathing heavily, before turning around. When he slowly opens them again he sees the still form of the man laying there, dressed in a hospital gown underneath the thin sheet. White bandages are covering his wrist from where the zip ties were, and even if Buck can't see it, he imagines there's another wrap around the man's abdomen. Eddie´s eyes are closed in his pale face, and the ribcage moving in sync with the machine that makes his body work.
He walks up to the bed and sits down in the chair next to it before he hesitantly grabs Eddie´s lifeless hand in his, letting out a breath of relief when he feels that it's warm. Somehow in his mind he had imagined it cold, even if he realistically knew better. He moves it up to his mouth, pressing his lips softly against the dry skin.
“I´m sorry. I´m so, so sorry.” He whispers against it. “I´ll fix this, ok? I´m gonna fix this.”
He stands up and leans over the man, carefully brushing the hair from his forehead without disturbing the slangs attached to him, before he lets his hand rest on his cheek. His other one slides in under Eddie's gown and he lets it rest on the man's heart. He can feel the slow thud under his palm, and it's comforting, even if he knows that it's thanks to the machines connected to the man. He just stands there for a minute, caressing his face and feeling the stubble on Eddie´s jaw against his skin. Then he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and starts searching within himself.
There´s nothing. There´s no warmth or tingling, no power moving around inside him. The fear slams into him, punching the air out of his lungs, he knows what it means. He has tried forcing it before, as he walked through the rooms of the hospital all those years ago. He tried to use something he couldn't reach. And he never succeeded. He clenches his jaw and blinks furiously, refusing to give in to the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Come on, Eds. Work with me here. Chris needs you. I need you.”
He tries again. And again. And again. Exhausted, desperate and frustrated he tries over and over, until he lost count.
Eddie’s body continues to lay still in front of him, an empty shell of the man he used to be. And when the first tear eventually escapes the corner of Buck’s eye, it feels like defeat, and he collapses in the chair, the last ounce of hope leaving him.
And it hurts . He rubs his chest harshly, trying to soothe the intense pain he feels as the grief starts eating him up from inside. He leans forward and grabs the man's hand hard in his own as he caresses his cheek with his other hand, slowly stroking his cheekbone with his thumb as he watches him. He's not able to look away, or to keep the tears from silently streaming down his cheeks as his aching heart breaks.
‘Who the hell is that?’
‘Eddie Diaz, New recruit.’
The memory swirls through his mind and with it comes another wave of pain in his chest, he gasp at it, trying to bring some air to his lungs.
‘You can have my back any day.’
‘Yeah. Or, you know, you could… You could have mine.’
He closes his eyes as the memories flow over him at a rapid pace.
‘Buck, there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.’
‘I really am sorry. So, whatever it takes for you to forgive me…’
‘I forgive you. Also what it means to be part of a team.’
‘This is Eddie´s house. I´m not really a guest.’
Images are flashing before his closed eyelids, Eddie, soaked and dirty, covered in mud, emerging in the dark night. Christmas at the firehouse and his happy face when he spots Christopher. Video games and movies, cuddled together on the couch. Sweaty, sooty and energetic Eddie, with adrenaline shining through his eyes as they leave a burning building.
He sees the last few weeks, sleepy kisses in the mornings. Whispered endearments against flushed skin in the dark of the night. Soft looks and small touches, intimate, and just for the two of them.
A sob rips through his chest and he squeezes the man’s hand hard in his own, holding it tight with both of his as he rests his forehead against their knuckles, eyes still squinted shut and breathless for the pain ripping through him in waves.
‘ So some day um, if I- didn´t make it, Christopher would be taken care of. By you. ’
Eddie´s voice is as clear in his head as if he would´ve said the words out loud, and he snaps his eyes open. But the man's face is just as still as it was before and he leans his temple back against their joined hands, resting his eyes on the man’s still form. His vision is blurry from the tears still streaming down his eyes and he needs to remind himself to breathe, his stuttering breaths loud in the otherwise quiet room. He knows he should get up, go get Chris. But the thought of telling the boy that he´s dad won´t wake up sends another wave of pain through him, and he presses his forehead harshly against their hands, trying to control the panic that's starting to build inside him.
“I c-can´t do this alone, Eddie. P-please don´t leave me.” He whispers shakily against their intertwined fingers, the skin wet from his tears.
At first he doesn´t notice it. He's too busy trailing his eyes over Eddie´s features, trying to memorize every detail into his brain as he tries to calm his breathing. But then it becomes more intense and in the corner of his eyes he sees something that wasn’t there before. He lifts his head and stares teary eyed down at their joined hands.
‘
You- your hands. They, um, they started glowing.
’ He remembers Maddie telling him after Chris’s accident. And that´s probably the only reason he doesn't drop Eddie´s hand in shock as he stares down at their joined hands with wide eyes. His palms are pulsating with a warm, soft light. Like someone holding a flashlight against his skin from inside his palms. At first he doesn't feel anything, but as he keeps looking his hands warms up, more and more.
And then the familiar tingling starts.
He lets out another sob, but this time in relief, hope starts to spread inside him and he tightens his hold of Eddie´s hand.
“Come on. Come on, come on, come on .” He chants for himself, barely aware of it, but the desperation in him is making him try in every way he can to keep it going. He feels how the power starts spreading, moving against it´s core and it's pulsating through his whole body as it moves through him and into Eddie, the steady glow of his hand never faltering.
He doesn't know how long he sits there for, but he never loses his grip around the man's hand, and he keeps staring at his face, waiting for any indication that he's about to wake up. But his face stays motionless, and for a moment Buck´s hope starts to falter, but then the machine makes a new noise and he snaps his gaze towards it.
The lines that so far have been flat, are now moving, making curves and shoving movements on the monitor.
Showing that there´s life.
The next hour is a bit of a blur, doctors are flying into the room shortly after the machines start picking up movement and immediately start looking Eddie over. Maddie has followed them inside with wide eyes and she holds Buck´s hand hard while they´re watching, after a few minutes they get thrown out of the room though and it's another hour before one of the doctors comes out to talk to them in the waiting room.
The man is clearly very confused and he swear he has never seen anything like it, as he tells them that, yes, the machines did start to pick up signs of movements in Eddie´s brain. And they could remove all of the machines from him, he is now breathing and functioning on his own and they have to wait to see if he'll wake up.
Buck´s sitting next to Eddie´s bed, holding his hand in his as he trails over the knuckles with a finger. It's been five days and they're still waiting for him to wake up. He's tried to wake him in his way but he hasn't been able to, and the waiting is killing him. But the doctors tell them that the vitals are good and they should be patient, that considering what he's been through it could take quite a while before his body seems it safe enough to wake up.
Buck´s been spending more or less all the time at his side. Only went home for a shower and change of clothes once in a while. The others have tried to get him out of the hospital, suggesting a walk or come to dinner. But after a few days they stopped when they realized he wouldn't move until Eddie´s awake.
“Chris is sleeping a bit better. Abuela says the nightmares are still there but seems to trail off a bit, which is a relief. He's been so strong through all of this, he really is a tiny superman. Kinda wish I had half of the strength that kid has.” He tells Eddie with a low voice.
He lets his gaze trail over the man's face, longing for him to open his eyes. Since his body is breathing on it´s own they´ve removed all of the machines, just one left to observe his vitals, and it looks like he's just taking a nap. The lines on his face are soft and the usual tense muscles relaxed.
“I miss you. So fucking much.” Buck whispers and rubs his eyes, the tears stinging in them seemingly permanent these days.
“iss’d ou too.”
He freezes where he sits, hands still covering his eyes. He doesn't dare to open his eyes, terrified that he imagined that raspy voice coming from the bed. But then the hand still resting in his own squeezes his weakly and he slowly lowers his hand, staring at the man still laying still on the bed.
“E-Eddie?” He asks with a hoarse whisper.
When the eyelids flutter and brown eyes look up at him he almost sags to the floor, a storm of emotions rushing through him and he quickly stands up, leaning over the man as he tiredly blinks up at him.
“Oh my god.” He breathes out and lifts his hand and caresses the man's cheek carefully in his palm, like he would break if the touch is too much, and he's resting his forehead lightly against his. “ Eddie .” He can't get anything else out, there's so much he wants to say, but he can´t form the words. A hand comes up and leans weakly against his shoulder and he bites back a sob that's threatening to escape.
“Shh, you're ok.” Eddie mumbles hoarsely, and Buck´s almost laughs, the man just woke up from a coma and he´s the one comforting Buck. The thought clears his head a little and he lifts his head.
“Want some water?” Eddie nods slowly and Buck helps him arrange his bed to a bit more elevated position and gives him some water.
“Chris?” Eddie asks as soon as he´s dampened his throat.
"He's fine. He´s with Isabel.” Buck quickly assures him, but before he can say anything else a nurse enters the room, and when she notices Eddie´s awake it gets pretty busy for a while.
When things have calmed down a bit and Buck´s been able to let everybody know Eddie´s awake, he finds himself back in the chair next to the bed. He can't seem to stop touching the man, making sure to keep a hand on him at all times. But the guilt is heavy on his shoulders and he averts his gaze, staring down at his other hand resting in his lap.
“I´m so sorry, Eddie.” He eventually manages to get out and when there´s no response he looks up to see a confused look in Eddie's face.
“For what?” He asks slowly.
“If it weren't for me, Brad never would've never even have been in the same zip-code as you and Chris. He only came after you because of me. I-I´m so sorry .”
Eddie lets his gaze rest on him for a bit before pursing his lips.
"You're an idiot.” He eventually simply states, and Buck just stares at him.
“W-What?”
“This was not your fault, Buck. The man´s a psychopath. He'll be locked in for a long, long time. That you even try to take the blame for this is honestly pissing me off a bit, ergo, you´re an idiot.” Buck´s not sure what to say so he just sits there, staring at Eddie with wide eyes, and eventually the man's eyes soften and he takes pity on him.
“It wasn't your fault, Evan.” He repeats softly. “There´s something else that's been bothering me though.”
“O-ok?”
Eddie bites his lip before opening his mouth again.
“When you and Christopher walked out that door I wasn't sure if I was ever going to see you again. And as I fighted a hopeless battle against becoming unconscious I realized there was one thing I really regretted.”
Buck waits as the man carefully leans over and grabs his hand, holding it tightly as he meets Buck´s eyes.
“I never told you I loved you. And I really wished that I had, because you deserve to hear it. I love you.” He whispers and Buck lets out a shaky breath as his heart explodes in his chest, warmth and love sipping through every single cell of his being. He stands up on shaky legs and leans over, nuzzling their noses together lightly before pressing a soft kiss on Eddie´s chapped lips.
“I love you too.” He mumbles against the man's lips, feeling how they stretch into a smile, before he slots their lips together again.
Chapter 15
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Epilogue
“Grace, come here, I need to put some more sunlotion on you.” She grunts a little before she walks over to her dad that´s seated on the towel in the sand.
“Daaad, I can do it myself.” She complains when he starts rubbing her arms and shoulders. She's actually 6 years old now. And 4 months. She can put that sticky cream on by herself. He raises an eyebrow at her.
“Oh yeah? Alright then, but turn around so I can help you with your back.” She sights and turns around, knowing he won’t let her go before he's happy.
“Listen to your dad, kiddo. You got his fair skin, and he knows what he's talking about. When we met he was terrible at using sunscreen, always looking like a lobster after every time we went to the beach.” Her papa teases and she giggles a little at the thought of her dad looking bright red and with claws like a lobster. Her papa always tells her she's a spitting image of her dad with her curly strawberry blond hair and bright blue eyes.
“Hey now!” Her dad splutters affronted. “It was not that bad.”
“It really was though. I remember that time you fell asleep with your headphones, and you had a mark from the cord on your chest the rest of the summer.” Her big brother laughs as he looks up from his book and smirks at him while her papa chuckles.
“You too, Chris? Really?” Her dad complains before drying his hands on the towel, pouting a bit. She watches as papa leans over and sneaks an arm around his waist and kisses his cheek with a chuckle.
“Don´t pout, we´re just teasing.”
Her dad looks at him with narrowed eyes but she can see that he's fighting a smile.
“Hmm. Gaining up on me, more like it. You´re on my side, aren't you Gracie?”
She nods and leans over to wrap her arms around his broad shoulders, and he immediately pulls her in in a tight hug. She loves her dads hugs, there's always one waiting for her and she feels safe and loved surrendered by his strong arms.
“Love you, daddy.” She mumbles against his neck and feels how he kisses her hair.
“Love you too, kiddo.”
She sits down for a bit between her parents, playing a bit with her doll in the sand while Chris is reading his book and the grown up talks lowly behind her back. The beach is not too busy, a few families spread out on blankets in the sand and some surfers out in the water. But it's a nice day and she enjoys them being there. Chris got home for summer break just a few days ago and she missed him while he was staying at campus. She wonders if she can convince him to play a game with her when they get back home.
Eventually she gets a bit bored and turns towards her papa, his warm brown eyes meeting hers with a raised brow.
“What´s on your mind, sweetheart?” He runs his hand through her hair and she leans into his side.
“I´m bored. Can I go down to the water? Please?” She blinks up at him and he nods.
“Yeah, ok. But stay where we can see you and don't go out in the water, ok? Come get one of us if you wanna go for a swim.”
“Promise!” She jumps up and runs excitedly down to the waterfront, careful to stay on a safe distance from the waves. She got caught in a wave last summer and her papa had to pull her up. It was kind of scary and she doesn't really wanna go out there on her own.
She walks around in the sand and looks for seashells, finding a few nice ones that she collects in her small hand. She looks up and looks over at her family after a while, noticing that her dad and papa are watching her, and waves excitedly at them before she starts looking for more shells. She thinks they will look pretty on her windowsill.
When she raises her gaze a bit her eyes catch sight of a log in the sand, with some fishnet stuck in it. She walks over to inspect it with the curiosity only a 6 year old would know, and when she comes closer she notices that there's a movement in the net and a small chirping. She kneels down in the warm sand and moves the net a bit, and she gaps with excitement when she sees the small duckling.
Grace loves animals, their cat Ash always sleeps in her bed and she's been trying to convince her parents that they should get a puppy. She's pretty confident she´s got her dad on her side, and if she knows them as well as she thinks, he will be able to convince papa as well. He can never resist her dads wishes for long.
The small duckling looks so soft and fluffy and the tiny beak moves quickly as it makes an unhappy noise. She frowns a bit when she notices that it´s stuck in the net and quickly puts down her seashells to get it free.
“It's ok. I'm gonna help you.” She whispers and carefully untangles the small animal with a concentrated face. It takes a couple of minutes but eventually it´s free and she holds it carefully in her hand. It looks like it's leg is hurt, it looks a bit limp and she bites her lip, unsure what to do. She strokes the soft down on its back, a deep desire to sooth it, to make it feel better.
Suddenly she feels a warm tingling in her wrist. She blinks down at it, trying to see if there's anything there, but she can't see anything, and then the tingling warmth moves into her hand and towards where the duckling is seated. She watches as the duckling's leg seems to straighten up and it chirps happily, flapping it´s small wings as it pads around her palm.
She blinks at it confused before laughing happily at the animal's little happy movements and she puts it down in the sand. It immediately runs down towards the water and when she looks out over the surface she spots the mother duck and a few more ducklings swimming around, quaking happily when their sibling joins them.
“Grace, come on, let's go get some ice cream.” She turns over at her papas voice and sees how the three of them are standing over at their stuff, looking down towards her.
She looks back towards the ducks out in the water one last time, smiling at them where they´re bobbing around in the calm waves. Then she quickly grabs her seashells before turning on her heel to run up towards her family that's waiting for her, excited to show them her findings.
By the time she reaches them, the tingling feeling is already forgotten and hidden away in the young girl's mind.
Notes:
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and for all of you leaving kudos and comments, thank you so much! I love reading them and it makes it so much fun to write these stories.
If you enjoyed this one, you might want to check out my other works as well.
Until next time.
Love, M
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