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With time, anything can be fixed.
He has tried and failed to fall asleep many times by now, and failed miserably each one. He'd been fighting with the loud thoughts for the last hours and was sure that he wouldn't get any better under this roof, but the guilt made him unable to move from the bed, running away again would only make things more uncomfortable for him, Sakura and Sarada. He had to endure this. Sakura, for the first time in years, has been this happy, the whole time smiling genuinely and trying her best to focus on the mission, she was like a child in love all over again. It made him nostalgic in a painful way.
'All those years and you still remember that? Pathetic.'
Sasuke tried to focus on good memories to shut his raging mind.
They were sitting at the dinner table, eating the food that Sarada had prepared especially for them. At first, he ate it calmly, of course, it was that good, Iruka had taught her well, then Sakura reprimanded him, he needed to open up to his daughter and tell her what he really thought of her work. So he did, and for that moment he felt comfortable enough to engage in a small conversation with the young girl. He hardly can remember what they talked about, but he knows it was short, because the moment he noticed, Sarada was heading to her room, explaining how cooking had tired her and was not that hungry to finish her dish.
'A small compliment won't do for all you've done to them.'
He turned around on the bed.
"I also learned that in Redaku a ring on the fourth finger of the left hand is a symbol of marriage!"
...
"That got me wondering... Did you give me this ring..."
"To scare off other guys?"
'What is she-'
She came closer.
"Thank you."
"Thank you, Sasuke!"
He woke up, he couldn't care less if Sakura knew that he was awake, and went to the balcony.
He couldn't understand, he was safe, he had built a home with Sakura, he had his family back and most importantly he had moved on to a new life. This is what family and love were supposed to be like! This is how things are meant to be!
'Then Why are you still remembering the past?'
He can still hear the same words repeating in his mind.
"I'd do anything to be with her again."
'Idiot.'
"A forbidden jutsu? Sure, a small price to pay."
'Simply stupid.'
"C'mon, Sasuke. What would you have done in my shoes?"
'...'
"You'd do the same, yeah? Be honest."
'I-'
"Maybe he would have..."
Her voice came out deflected, her back facing them, of course, not daring to look at him.
Sasuke felt a familiar cold that could fairly be remembered now. How long has it been? How... how old is he again?
"But we're not alone in this world. I know our friends and family would stop us..."
Sakura turned around and looked directly at him, anger and sadness dwelling in her eyes. He felt dizzy.
"And tell us not to do stupid things."
Her next words weren't directed at him, obviously, but Sasuke couldn't help but feel called out.
"How would she feel about being brought back by jutsu?"
Her question was clear. Anyone could have seen it. But he wouldn't dare to answer her.
'How would you feel?'
He had made his choice twelve years ago, he was sure of what he was doing at the time, how couldn't he not? He knew that there was no turning back once he walked past the door at the time, and he gladly did, he can't say that he does regret anything now.
Right?
'How did you feel?'
Sasuke looks at the village, and he knows it, he shouldn't run away, he has to stay and raise the daughter he now has the obligation to raise and failed for so many years. He needs to keep it together or else he'll lose another chance life has given him to build a new family, to love again, to not fuck this up like he did with-
'No, that life is done, you can't think of it again. Accept it.'
And his mind is right, he is an Uchiha, and he is stronger than that.
“So that’s it huh? Just like that, you’re gone?”
'No, shut up.'
'Then why are you running away again?'
'No, I'm not.'
"Do you have to leave?"
'Run away like you always do.'
“I’m not running away,” Sasuke replied defensively. “I have a mission.”
He looked one last time at the insides of his house, Sakura had left everything clean, except for the cup that he'd been drinking before going to sleep. Then he left without thinking twice.
He found it untouched.
He wasn't sure whether or not all the things he had left there would still be intact, and luckily for him, they were.
Some dusty scrolls and a bunch of papers were still on the floor with some plants growing around them, most of the ashes were no longer visible, not that they mattered.
He laid down on the floor trying to convince himself that this was just a nightmare, that everything he's ever lived until this point was just a bad dream, that these past 10 and more years were just a machination of his mind and he'd wake up at any moment, that he'd, somehow, passed out while trying to get out of his house and Naruto would be there, worrying and taking care of him even after the shit show he made earlier because that was how Naruto always had been, caring, loving and forgiving, especially towards the absolute idiot he loved calling his fiancé.
He closed his eyes.
The first thing he noticed was the smell of paper being consumed by fire... and something else.
He slowly opened his eyes to the dark that had engulfed him earlier, with a headache he woke up just to find himself getting hit in the forehead.
This place wasn't that big.
He looked around trying to figure out what had happened and found out that the smell was indeed from burnt-out papers, all around him, all with something written down, but now impossible to read. He tried to touch one and all of them turned into dust.
Confused, Sasuke started to crawl to the sounds he identified as birds.
As night began to fall, he started to notice Konoha in the distance. A small part of him obliged himself to hide his chakra to evade unwanted meetings. He knew in the air that something was not right, he went to the only place he knew he'd be welcomed without judgment.
Kakashi was surprised when Sasuke knocked on the window but quickly hid it when he spoke.
"You should have told me you were coming, I would have ordered extra food, yknow?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Yeah, I can tell. So, did you bring me new information about your mission? I can only hope it's not that bad if you're here."
"Mission?"
Kakashi was taken bit by the question
"Yeah, the remains of Kaguya and her followers."
"I'm not assigned to that mission, not now."
The Hokage raised from his seat and got closer to the window slowly.
"Sasuke, you're the only one who can trace said remains."
Sasuke felt the change in the air.
"Yes, and I did, a year ago."
None of them spoke until...
"Sasuke, how old are you?"
He felt something creep in his back, but he answered nonetheless.
"19."
The older man didn't stop looking at him.
"Now tell me what are you doing here exactly."
Sasuke fell silent for what felt like hours. He lowered his gaze, uncomfortable and forgetting the odd atmosphere.
"I needed to talk."
When Kakashi didn't answer, he continued.
"Because I know things will change whether I stay or leave, and at least I want to make things clear before deciding."
Kakashi took a long look at him, not judging, just thinking.
"What about Kaguya? How did you find and eradicate all of her remains."
"I did it with Naruto about a year ago. Kakashi, what are you talking about?"
"What is the last thing you remember about Naruto?"
He suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He should have ended things better.
"He, in our house... crying."
Kakashi froze in place, time seemed to stop. Something is not right.
"Sasuke, you don't own a house with Naruto, not that I'm aware of."
His voice was calm and collected, but at the same place a bit afraid. Was this some kind of sick joke?
"What?"
"I mean, he owns a house, yes, but he lives alone, at least until he gets married to Hinata. You-"
Sasuke couldn't hear the rest of the things, so he tried to look around him.
'Is he getting married? How long have I been gone?'
"Sasuke are you alright?"
"Yes."
He disappeared the second Kakashi blinked.
He slowed down a bit, it was still night, and even if he was a bit dazed, he never left the path his unconscious told him to follow. On his way, he noticed how some things in the village were different, like certain edifications he had never seen before, others that should be there because he remembers helping build them. But most importantly, he now started to see how the streets were a bit dimmer, especially those of low-class families, the small decorations that didn't stand out but were significant when he first saw them in the houses weren't anywhere to be found now.
'Maybe they took them off.'
That would be. If he was right, years may have done a lot of changes in the village, he just needs to adjust himself to... this.
He stopped in the middle of the street.
The greenery has grown too much, a lot, even the trees had taken the place and were fully grown by now, except for an old broken almond tree. It kinda felt that nothing had ever been constructed there, that the house he had built along with Naruto simply erased from existence.
This couldn't have been done in just a few years, nothing could be erased this quickly without a trace.
That's when a movement in the dirt attracted his attention. He took the paper, it looked untouched by time but the date imprinted on it betrayed the remaining doubts Sasuke had.
The newspaper showed the photo of Uzumaki Naruto and Hyūga Hinata, the soon-to-be-married. Both looked just as young as Sasuke last saw them, just as young as him.
He was holding her with all the loving strength he could give her, kissing her on her cheek and she had a laughing smile on her face, clinging onto him, like never wanting to let him go, both with their eyes closed, not bothered if people were present. The movement of her hair revealed not only how the pose was natural and genuine, but how playful they were even in front of a camera, shameless of their found happiness.
Konoha's most beloved couple is just three days from the perfect wedding and consequential perfect married life.
'How do you feel?'
The forest was the only thing he could say was the same.
He sat down in a fallen trunk.
The night sky slowly bleeding into a morning sky.
His hand slid into the intern pocket he knew the newspaper was in, finding instead a letter he hadn't noticed earlier. He recognized his own writing on it.
"Sakura's birthday is in about three days, she claims "to be late".
Thank you."
With time whatever can get easier, and this is true, at least to some degree, but that doesn't mean it will ever stop hurting.
Sasuke open his eyes again, he can't move his body or his eyes.
The sunlight that comes from the windows manages to calm him down, it is not as blinding as he first thought.
"Hmm."
His head moves toward the sound. Golden looks rests on his shoulder, shining, just like those eyebrows, just like those eyelashes. The face looks older but not tired. The bare tanned skin feels overwhelming and soothing at the same time.
'If only-'
His own body moves closer, hugging the man.
He closes his eyes slowly, he tries to fight, he knows this won't last.
He sees a small hint of blue for the first time in forever before the darkness takes him away.
"Sasuke..."
Sasuke opened his eyes and is welcomed by the cave's ceiling, again.
⚘