shadows draw me in (complete eclipse)

by cordelias

Summary:

Brief glimpses into the private life of young master Zhang Hao and his loyal butler.

Notes:

this started as a silly short pwp but it completely consumed me and i ended up with a lot more plot than i intended.....oops.

could be considered a companion/sister fic to love at your service, my maid Zhang Hao au.

enjoy:)

Duke Zhang Hao is equal parts captivating and mysterious.

He’s leaning against the grand piano in the corner of the room, his piercing eyes studying the opulent crowd while maintaining a quiet conversation with his servant, a broad, spectacled man who never seemed to leave his side.

The party was starting to wind down, and most of the young guests had paired off together, drunk on wine and the promising thrill of budding romance.

Zhang Hao, however, remained alone most of the night.

Sitting across the room, Jaehyun had found himself hypnotized by him. He had been an object of curiosity among the kingdom’s upper crust for years. As the sole survivor of the Zhang dynasty, he had inherited a fortune rivaling that of the royal family, along with a sprawling estate that he occupied all alone. He was beautiful, his soft blond hair contrasted with his sharp dark eyes, and he’d instantly charm any onlooker whenever his usual cold expression melted into an innocent smile. He carried a dignified aura befitting his lineage. A prince in all but name.

But his tragic past and beauty were seldom why he was the center of gossip.

Having an omega as the patriarch of an ancient noble house was unheard of, even more so when he’s still unmarried at 24 and does not seem to have any intentions of tying the knot soon.

But it’s not for lack of trying. Jaehyun had watched him across mansions, ballrooms, softly lit gardens, at weddings and royal receptions. Potential suitors would come up to him, as is customary, and offer their company, but Jaehyun had never seen him speak to the same person twice. None of his matches seemed to advance past the first introduction.

His butler is always at his side. He looks young, perhaps around Zhang Hao’s age, which could explain why they’re so comfortable around each other. They’d exchange secret smiles and whisper to each other all night, and sometimes even seem irritated when interrupted by interested alphas, as if this wasn’t the entire reason the young Duke was even there.

Regardless, being accompanied by a beta attendant was nothing out of the ordinary for an unmated omega, and was especially crucial for Zhang Hao, who had no one to rely on except himself.

“If you’re going to stare so much, you might as well come and say hello," Zhang Hao calls out suddenly, raising the glass he’d been lazily sipping on in Jaehyun’s direction.

Jaehyun tenses up. Not only was Zhang Hao speaking to him for the first time, but the heir is initiating the conversation. Did he have too much to drink and has now begun hallucinating?

He marches over to him with a tight smile, feeling as if he’s walking to his own death.

“I figured you were already preoccupied, I didn’t want to intrude,” he explains hastily, his eyes shifting to his butler. The servant nods at him politely.

Zhang Hao seems amused. He doesn’t buy his excuse. “It’s nice to finally speak to you, I’m Zhang Hao.” his introduction is hasty, understandably so when everyone already knows his name. “Myung Jaehyun, the Viscount of Daechinso’s eldest, correct?”

He offers his hand, and Jaehyun’s heart pounds in his ears as he takes it and brings it to his mouth, breathing in a subdued floral scent.

There is a blunt shift in the air around them when Jaehyun’s lips connect to Zhang Hao’s skin, and he begins to feel more tense, like a rope is squeezing around his neck.

“It’s an honor to make your acquaintance, Your Grace.”

“I didn’t expect you to be here tonight,” Zhang Hao says, surprising him once more. “I know your family is usually in the countryside around this time of the year.”

A million questions race in Jaehyun’s head. How did you know? Are you keeping tabs on me? Have you been rejecting everyone in hopes I’d talk to you instead?

“My father asked me to stay back in the capital for a few more days so I could, um-” his father had been pressuring him to find a mate, and told him not to show his face until he could name at least one omega that he’s interested in. “Be more social .”

Zhang Hao’s face droops sympathetically, catching the implicit meaning behind his words. “That’s a shame, I would imagine it’s much nicer to spend some time around nature instead.”

Jaehyun nods, loosening up slightly. “It is lovely around the springtime.”

Zhang Hao tilts his head and leans forward. “Would you like it if I come over, then? Maybe spend a few nights too?”

“Erm, uh,” he splutters, spitting out his wine, and Zhang Hao’s stoic butler is at his side in a split second with a napkin. His smile is warm but his gaze is icy. 

“Everything alright, Master Myung?” he asks, patting the tiny red stains splattered on his shirt.

“I’m fine,” Jaehyun answers harsher than he intended, that suffocating sensation creeping back and squeezing him further.

Zhang Hao is watching the interaction with a listless expression, and he and his butler exchange a brief, charged look before he returns to him once more.

“We could take our time to get to know each other better. After all, I’m not looking to rush this whole process. Are you?” Zhang Hao’s expression sours as he turns his attention back to their drunk, and frankly very horny, peers. “Everyone here seems to be, I can sniff out the desperation and urgency from a mile away.”

It’s a peculiar observation, considering Zhang Hao is in more urgent need of a mate than anyone else here. An omega living alone, parents dead, no surviving relatives, and a noble family name that could very well die with him if he doesn’t make a choice.

“I-I- suppose not.”

He’d succeeded, hadn’t he? Jaehyun had plucked the wallflower everyone had admired from afar. 

But something is very off, piercing anxiety continues to throb inside his chest. There is a dominating, foreboding aura reminiscent of an alpha.

But who could it be?

“What’s wrong?” Zhang Hao asks, his soft features hardening in concern. There is an artificial tinge to his sweet voice.

Jaehyun’s eyes meet the servant’s once more, and he nearly keels over when the man smiles politely at him again. It’s almost as if– as if–

It couldn’t be. Jaehyun must have had a little too much to drink tonight. Only betas were permitted to serve in such proximity to their masters.

“Can we continue this conversation another time? I think I need a bit of fresh air,” he mumbles, gesturing to the balcony.

Zhang Hao’s disappointment is just as shallow. “I hope I can speak to you again soon, then.”

Later, when he’s breathing in the crisp spring air on the balcony, watching from above as the last few remaining guests leave, Jaehyun notices the butler’s hand firmly planted on Zhang Hao’s hips as he helps him get inside his coach.

 

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

 

“You seemed to have your fun with him,” Hanbin says mildly when they arrive back in his mansion. The other servants had all gone to sleep, but he still locks the door of Zhang Hao’s quarters behind him.

“Fun?” Zhang Hao feigns innocence. “Perhaps I was being very serious.”

Hanbin’s hands hover behind Zhang Hao, right above his shoulder, and Zhang Hao shrugs off his coat into his ready arms before he hangs his head back and allows Hanbin to remove his jewelry, from the gold chain around his neck to his collection of earrings. He presses himself against Zhang Hao’s back, feels his breath hitch in his throat, and remains still for a single charged second before he runs his hand down the omega’s arm until their fingers interlock.

Their nighttime routines had turned into practiced rituals, mundane tasks elevated to acts of worship, and Hanbin was a devout believer.

“You propositioned yourself to an alpha you met for the first time,” he whispers in his ear. An alpha other than me is what he really wants to say. He slides Zhang Hao’s rings off, a silent reminder that it was he who placed them on his fingers. “Judging by the color of his face, it’s safe to presume he perfectly understood what you were hinting at.”

There is a dark edge to his voice, but cradling his master in his arms eases the burning jealousy ravaging his heart. For the remainder of the night, Zhang Hao is his again. 

“I need to find a mate, what better way to go about it than this?” Zhang Hao remarks as Hanbin leads him to the edge of the bed. His weight sinks into the soft mattress without much protest, and his butler drops to his knees, slides his shoes off, and massages his tired feet. 

The word mate pierces through Hanbin’s chest like a sharp dagger. 

“Even at the cost of your reputation, young master?” he asks.

Zhang Hao rolls his eyes and folds his arms in defiance, but his previously subdued scent begins to materialize. Excitement. Anticipation. “Tsk, you’re always getting in my way.”

“I’m just looking out for you.” Hanbin is perched between Zhang Hao’s parted legs, and the air is thick and heavy with his sweet scent. His master seems composed, but his breathing grows shallow. “A fragrant rose ready for plucking, who could resist the temptation?”

“I can think of at least one person,” Zhang Hao mutters, staring at him pointedly. Ah, right.

Hanbin knows the real reason, as much as he’s loathe to admit it.

Zhang Hao wanted to make him jealous.

“ That person is not as disciplined as you seem to think he is,” he meets his eyes, and Zhang Hao flinches and looks away. “There, it looks like you’ve made a big mess as a result.”

Zhang Hao’s dress shorts are damp with slick running down his plush thighs. It’s customary for omegas to refrain from wearing full-length trousers until they were mated to signal their status, which provided Hanbin with further difficulty keeping his hands to himself. The sight is obscene, even in this dark room illuminated by the soft moonlight. Zhang Hao had been composed all night, but a few verbal provocations from Hanbin had him gushing wet.

In another life, he’s Hanbin’s mate, and they’d be making love after a long evening of being on their best behavior in polite company, laughing as they fall together into the bed in a tangle of limbs.  Maybe Hanbin could get away with pressing his lips to the mark he branded on Hao’s neck when he thinks no one is paying attention to them, maybe Hao would call him darling as he slips his clothes off, maybe he could knot and cum inside Hao, maybe they could create the family he’s always dreamed of. 

But this isn't another life. And their relationship could not be farther from his imagination. 

“You have to be more careful, young master,” Hanbin's fingers meticulously work the buttons of his shorts while his other hand swipes along his inner thigh, doing little in the way of cleaning him up. His face is so close now, and Zhang Hao’s scent is intoxicating. “Allowing yourself to lose control like this around an alpha.”

It’s redundant, a meaningless remark when he knows he’s the only person who could make Zhang Hao this aroused. After all, no one else knows what it’s like to fill him up and relieve him during his heats.

That man’s face flashes in his mind again, and he feels another painful squeeze in his chest. The thought of any other alpha getting even a glance at Zhang Hao’s bleary, tear-filled eyes when he’s begging for cock sends him into a burning rage.

“But isn't this what you’re here for, to protect me?” Zhang Hao replies, falling back halfway and resting on his elbows. Hanbin knows he’s impatiently resisting the urge to stroke himself . This is just how he is, always acting on his desires without restraint. “You’re always worrying about me misbehaving, about someone taking advantage of me when I show a hint of vulnerability.”

It’s a silly notion, and they both know it. Zhang Hao had been running this household all on his own since he was fifteen.

But it’s precisely this side of him that makes Hanbin so much more eager to be the person who can take care of someone so strong and capable. 

“Perhaps we’re due for another etiquette lesson?” Hanbin slides the shorts off, revealing his erection and stained underwear. He blinks a few times as he breathes Zhang Hao in, so welcoming and only growing more fragrant with every touch. 

The memory of all their previous lessons must still be fresh in Zhang Hao’s memory because he twitches at the word, his shaky legs snapping further in invitation. “I’ve always been fond of Hanbinie’s teaching methods.”

“Omegas in high society don't initiate contact, they wait to be approached by potential suitors.”

His master reaches over to tap his shoulder, and Hanbin slides up to meet him. He keeps a firm grip on Zhang Hao’s legs, who throws his arms around his neck and pulls him closer until their lips are a breath apart.

The stars in Zhang Hao’s eyes multiply when they’re this close, and Hanbin waits patiently as he takes him in, as his gaze grows cloudy with lust and something much sweeter, much more painful to acknowledge.

Zhang Hao kisses him softly and opens his mouth to let Hanbin take over. Hanbin sucks on his lips, eagerly drinks him in, and swallows all his desperate sighs and contented moans.

His lips trail down as he continues to undress him, pressing his mouth to Zhang Hao’s sharp jaw while he slides his waistcoat down his broad shoulders, and leaves light pecks on his collarbones before ripping off the frilly white blouse he picked out for him this morning. 

He makes a point of avoiding his neck and ignores the protesting whine that comes out of Zhang Hao as he does so. There has to be a line, and Hanbin decided long ago that this is where he drew it.

“Your natural scent must be suppressed, diluted down, and reserved exclusively for your one and only mate.”

He begins to lick Zhang Hao’s slick, working his way up his inner thigh, kissing and biting into the soft flesh in areas he knows only he’s allowed to see. His scent is powerful and addictive, filling Hanbin’s nose and making his brain go blank. To most people, Zhang Hao smells faintly of the blue roses that exclusively grow in the Zhang estate, only Hanbin knows that’s just the surface layer hiding a complex combination of peach, vanilla, and a faint powdery note that they both share. He thinks he could spend a lifetime breathing him in and worshiping at his feet.

Despite his discipline, Hanbin’s pants begin to feel uncomfortably tight. He imagines what it would be like to slide his dick between Zhang Hao’s thighs and fuck into them mercilessly as his master begs for his own release, and takes a deep breath to pace himself. 

“Hanbinie, I can’t take it anymore,” Zhang Hao whines, his eyes watering as he falls back into the mattress. Hanbin spoils him far too much, it’s no wonder his information retention seems to be so low.

Hanbin tears himself away from his legs, reaching up to brush his bangs and stroke his tear-stained cheeks. “Will you promise to be more careful in the future?” he asks sweetly.

Zhang Hao nods eagerly, that dignified, aristocratic aura that intimidates anyone who approaches him fully broken down. Nothing matters to him at this moment except for Hanbin.

Hanbin finally slides his own trousers off to stroke his cock, and takes a moment to enjoy the hungry look in Zhang Hao’s eyes as he sizes him up, his chest rising and falling, a finger catching between his teeth in anticipation. 

He knows he’s much bigger than most alphas, and was initially worried about the physical toll it would take on Zhang Hao- whether it would really be worth helping him through his heat in the er, more traditional sense. But his size only seemed to make his master want him more. A small, bitter side of Hanbin wonders how any other man could satisfy him afterward.

It took so many years of self-restraint, many ruts he’d spent alone to achieve the level of patience he has right now. Zhang Hao thinks he doesn't want him enough, but if Hanbin could fully have his way he wouldn’t be able to walk the next day. He wouldn’t have been able to make it out of that party without Hanbin’s cum staining his clothes and a fresh bite mark on his neck.

And speaking of which:

“Lastly, even during your heats, you’re only permitted to make love to your mate.” 

So much work to protect Zhang Hao’s honor and chastity when he ruined it all long ago.

Zhang Hao twitches again and mewls as soon as Hanbin enters him, sliding in slowly into his ready, wet hole and pushing himself further until he’s fully seated inside him.

Whatever conflicting feelings he has always wash away once he experiences the feeling of Zhang Hao squeezing him in once again, when the continuously rising tension between them and the constant push and pull is finally consummated, providing them both with much-needed relief.

While Hanbin remains still, Zhang Hao gasps and his back arches as his walls clench him in, his cock spluttering all over his toned stomach. He covers his face in his hands as he comes down from his first orgasm of the night. Perhaps Hanbin had teased him just a little too much.

“It’s been three full days since you last fucked me,” Zhang Hao redirects his embarrassment to pin the blame on Hanbin instead. Hanbin catches a peek of his signature disapproving pout. It’s adorable. “You should do it at least thrice a day so I’m not overwhelmed by how good you feel inside me.”

“Hmm,” Hanbin slides his narrow frames up his sharp nose bridge. “You’re never short of brilliant plans, young master, but I worry about the logistics of achieving this particular request.”

He lifts his knees higher, urging him to move, and Hanbin begins to thrust, slow and deep. “Would it really be so complicated? You could wake me up by stretching me open in the morning, bend me over my study as I manage the estate into the afternoon, whisk me away while I’m entertaining guests in the evening, and of course, we have the night to ourselves just like this.” His pretty face is in full view again, and his big round eyes grow wider. “On second thought, make it five. I think five times a day is necessary for me to retain my sanity.”

He’s right, when they’re home, there is little reason for them to take precautions or be careful. Nobody dared to interrupt them or question why Hanbin needed to lock the door. 

He lied, it’s not about whether or not they could get away with it, it's about whether or not they should . They’ve already intertwined themselves far beyond what should be acceptable. Just another twist and the tight thread will snap in half, breaking them both beyond repair in the process.

He doesn’t say anything, only closing his eyes to better visualize the images Zhang Hao had conjured up as he fucks him, so Zhang Hao continues. 

“I’d be so pliant and satisfied all the time then, wouldn’t dream to try and provoke you like this by speaking to another alpha.”

His voice is smug, and more predominantly, triumphant. From the moment he locked eyes with Jaehyun up until he got Hanbin on his knees between his legs, he had played him like a fiddle.

The worst part is that his confession only winds him up more. Hanbin might be so pathetically in love that he’d abandoned every shred of decency to be able to fuck Zhang Hao, but Zhang Hao was just as obsessed, deploying his natural wit and the political tactics he’d developed out of necessity to survive in this world just to get Hanbin’s attention.

Withholding his affection only ever seems to backfire because the lengths Zhang Hao goes to get him to drop his guard again make Hanbin a lot more eager to teach him a lesson.

He picks up his pace and slams his hips harder into Zhang Hao, whose soft, melodic moans turn into pleas for him to keep going. He bends down to lodge himself even deeper, and the omega hooks his arms around his neck again to bring him close.

“Hah– It’s too much–” Zhang Hao says breathily, overwhelmed, but continues to hold on to Hanbin for dear life, his hips snapping up to meet his thrusts.

“Want me to stop?” Hanbin asks.

“No, it’s perfect,” his master responds, digging his nails into Hanbin’s back. “I love when you stretch me out like this.”

Under a hundred layers of childish teasing and social etiquettes that they’ve taken too much pleasure in destroying, there is a formidable, deep emotional core that encompasses the love that they have for each other. Pure, warm affection oozing out of every touch even as they gave in to their most animalistic instincts. 

“You’re doing so well, master,” he purrs as he wipes Zhang Hao’s pretty tears with his fingertips. “Taking me so good as always.”

Zhang Hao always revels in Hanbin’s praise, and his sweet words are all it takes for him to cum again, taking his butler’s lips in his again and muttering a string of nonsense into his mouth about how much he’d like his knot.

Hanbin continues to chase his own release, pulling out quickly when he feels himself getting closer and stroking his cock, now coated with slick, admiring the sight of Zhang Hao looking all fucked out and barely coherent before him before cumming all over his abdomen.

He couldn’t indulge himself to that extent, even at Zhang Hao’s request. It was simply too risky. They could have their fun now, but he couldn’t live with himself if his desire to breed his master ruined his chances of ever finding a suitable mate.

Like I’d ever want anyone else , he thinks he hears Zhang Hao mumble into his chest later.

I wish you’d want anyone else but me. 

Maybe it would hurt a lot less if he did, would make it a lot easier for Hanbin to keep his feelings at bay. Knowing he’s the only person able to fulfill all of his needs makes it nearly impossible to stay away. How could he, when his entire universe revolved around Zhang Hao’s happiness?

The alphas back at the party do not have the capacity to unravel all the nuances that make up Zhang Hao, his unusual independence clashing against his more private desires to be pampered and spoiled. Having been there all along, Hanbin finds it easy enough to understand, to obsess over, and love.

It’s a dangerous line of thought to slip into, but one that Hanbin had followed over and over again.

Because it’s true, isn’t it?

They were made for each other. He hears it in Zhang Hao’s laugh, in the wave of anxiety pouring out of him when Hanbin speaks to someone else for longer than a few minutes, in the way he keeps holding on to Hanbin even long after his heats had passed, just as he is right now.

He knows that he could give Zhang Hao everything he’d like, all except one.

Hanbin slips back into the servant quarters while his master is fast asleep.

 

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

 

They first met at the ages of eight and nine, after Hanbin’s mother was hired as a nurse to take care of Zhang Hao’s elderly sick parents. His birth was declared a miracle, his two fathers refusing to separate even after decades of unsuccessful attempts to produce an heir for the family. Zhang Hao was a product of resilience, of a love so powerful it nearly ended an entire lineage.

A miracle child that little Hanbin found hiding in a closet.

“Why are you crying?” was the first thing he ever said to Zhang Hao. Even as a child, his heart’s capacity for empathy was the size of a galaxy. He stumbled on his words cutely, his tongue still unfamiliar with the standard form of language spoken only among the nobility. 

“I overheard some of the servants talk about my dads,” Zhang Hao sobbed, unable to look up at the stranger before him. “They said it was a pity they wouldn't be able to see me grow up.”

Hanbin pondered his words silently. He gingerly took Zhang Hao’s hand in his and waited for his sobs to ease into sniffles. 

“I can be by your side, then.” 

“Who are you?” Zhang Hao finally thought to ask. His eyes still stung and his face was flushed in embarrassment when he realized that he’d allowed someone to see him cry and hear his greatest fear verbalized for the first time ever. 

“I’m Hanbin and I don’t have any friends,” Hanbin said bluntly. Zhang Hao, who had been raised to deliberate every word that came out of his mouth a hundred times, stared at him like he had just grown three heads. “So maybe you can be my friend, and then I’ll watch you grow up and neither of us will be lonely!”

What use was this offer, coming from a strange commoner who didn’t even know how to speak? Zhang Hao wanted his parents to live forever, he wanted everything in his life to remain exactly the same. There was no room for anyone else. Their love for him was all he knew.

But this Hanbin was still stubbornly holding his hand despite it being covered in tears and snot, and Zhang Hao had to admit that he wasn’t eager to pull himself away either. 

And fine , maybe the boy’s rosy, round cheeks and long lashes reminded him of his favorite dolls. He wouldn’t mind keeping him around for a little longer. Just as a distraction from the pain that had been ravaging every part of his soul.

“Hanbinie,” he turned his chin up and crossed his arms, attempting to intimidate him even though he still hadn’t fully stopped crying. “You have been bestowed the honor of being my friend. Don’t take this privilege lightly, and don’t you dare break your promise to remain by my side.”

Hanbin nodded eagerly despite not seeming to understand all the words that he had just said. That will have to do for now, he was a work in progress.

“I promise!”

 

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

 

It happens on their way home from an afternoon excursion at the royal palace.

Zhang Hao is curled into Hanbin’s lap in the coach, breathing in the alpha’s scent for comfort after his social battery had been drained. 

“I don’t want to leave the mansion for at least a month,” he mumbles against Hanbin’s chest.

The barrage of questions he received this time around seemed endless. Despite proving himself to be capable and independent, scrutiny and doubt continued to cast a large shadow over all his social interactions. These people acted like he was orphaned at the age of 4 rather than 14.

And no matter how well he commanded the conversation, how well he felt like he was getting along with the stuffy noble he was speaking to, they’d always find a way to sneak a question about how his search for an alpha was going. Worse, it’s followed by a suggestion for a suitor they just happened to think of at the top of their heads.

Zhang Hao has done this song and dance a thousand times, and it only took about twenty for him to realize every name had something to gain from taking control of his massive fortune.

“You certainly earned a break.” Hanbin smiles, massaging his shoulder and arm soothingly. “You did so well today.”

Everything is so easy when it’s just the two of them. It’s the only time Zhang Hao feels like he can truly breathe, allowing the needy, whiny, spoiled side of him to spill out in abundance. It never seems too much for Hanbin.

“You have to make sure I never leave your sight in the meantime,” he says as he glares up at Hanbin, whose fond grin only grows bigger. “Devote all your attention to me.”

“As demanding as always, young master.” Hanbin’s hand dips to his hips, the playful glint in his eyes twisting into something darker.

An uncomfortable but all too familiar burning hot sensation pools down from his stomach to his groin, and his desire to be bred and filled overtakes all the political ploys and new faces he’s learned that had been running through his mind all day.

Zhang Hao gasps and grips into Hanbin’s vest, warmth spreading across his body in an instant and his vision turns foggy.

“Hanbinie- Hanbinie- It’s time-” he mumbles.

It’s fortunate that his heat began now, while he’s in Hanbin’s arms. His familiar, comforting scent and secure grip keep the worst of his symptoms at bay.

But it still isn’t quite enough.

Hanbin reacts as soon as the words spill out of his mouth. His hands dip down to envelop Zhang Hao’s waist and cradle him tighter. He presses his lips to his scalding hot skin, and his master sighs in relief.

“Spread yourself a little for me, young master,” he instructs, his voice low and gentle, whispering to avoid alerting the attention of the coachman.

Zhang Hao nods, pushing his knees apart and letting one leg spill down from Hanbin’s lap to provide him better access.

On most days, Hanbin would tease and tease him until he was begging, but he understood the urgency of the situation and quickly got to work. He rips his glove off with his teeth and pulls Zhang Hao’s dress shorts down to his knees.

He slides the lacy undergarments to the side and pushes a finger in.

Zhang Hao whines. “Not this- Need your cock-”

“As soon as we’re home,” Hanbin promises. “Can you be a little patient for me?”

He continues to fuck into him leisurely, steadily through the bumpy ride home, and Zhang Hao melts into his arms, sucking on his own fingers to keep himself from making any noise.

He comes silently, pushing Hanbin’s fingers deeper into him, and everything goes dark shortly after.

When he comes to again, he’s in Hanbin’s arms, being carried to his bedroom as his servants turn the other way. It’s not hard to discern that the two of them had a special, and perhaps inappropriate bond.

Most omegas born into nobility would be taken care of by a large staff during their heat, providing various methods of relief that did not veer into sexual release. But Hanbin is the only person allowed in Zhang Hao’s chambers during his heat.

His eyelids still feel heavy, and he gives in to his exhaustion and the comfort and safety of Hanbin’s embrace.

He dreams of his first heat.

It was the summer he turned nineteen, a month after he formally presented.

Things between him and Hanbin had been tense, perhaps for the first time ever, and that week set a new record for the longest period they had gone without speaking. Despite recently being appointed to the role of his personal butler, Hanbin was avoiding him at every opportunity, standing in the opposite corner of the dining room as Zhang Hao ate, dodging eye contact whenever they crossed paths in the hallway, and completely refusing to enter his chambers after dark.

Hanbin wasn’t supposed to be an alpha. He should have remained a beta and continued to coexist alongside Zhang Hao as he came into his own in high society, as he found a suitable mate who could make up for the loss of his parents. As the bond they’d formed as children weakened and frayed until they were mere footnotes in the history of the Zhang family.

Hanbin wasn't supposed to become his entire world.

“I have to leave the mansion,” Hanbin had said, still eighteen and unsure of himself. All Zhang Hao remembers about this Hanbin is that he always looked like he carried the entire world on his shoulders. “Remaining this close to you is forbidden and not to mention, extremely dangerous.”

“Have you told anyone yet?” was all Zhang Hao could ask in return, unable to muster the courage to simply agree. He needed to buy more time.

Hanbin shook his head. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Zhang Hao clenched his fists and stared down at the floor, fighting the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. “Could you keep this between us for just a little longer?”

It was selfish, he knew he should be letting him go. But the thought of Hanbin creating a life that wasn’t in Zhang Hao’s orbit made him sick to his stomach, and allowed a new, rotten ugly feeling to grow and fester.

How could Hanbin love anybody but him? How could Hanbin bear to have a life outside of him? They were made for each other, compatible down to their biology.

The summer days went by at a torturously slow pace, their distance only growing wider as Zhang Hao kept his protests to himself, and Hanbin subtly, slowly, withdrew from his life.

It was so much harder to stay apart after they presented, not just because Zhang Hao was losing his best friend, but because his primal urges had begun to occupy an increasingly larger space in his brain. His distance or proximity to Hanbin suddenly had a real, tangible effect on his physical and mental state.

One particularly hot afternoon, those urges emerged to the surface and took full control of his body. 

He’d been warned about the pain of heats before, especially to those yet unmated and not quite familiar with the discomfort, but Zhang Hao was still unable to withstand it. He was bedridden, slipping in and out of consciousness as his servants surrounded him, rushing about in a blur that only made him more nauseous.

But Zhang Hao understood that his heat wasn’t normal, it was triggered by the presence of an alpha that he was attracted to and had a deep emotional bond with. There was only one thing that could make him feel better.

“Where is Hanbin?” he desperately asked the maid changing the cold towels on his forehead. They did little to bring his temperature down.

“He excused himself for the day,” she said, avoiding his eyes. “He said he was feeling sick, Your Grace.”

That night, after everyone had gone asleep, he dragged his fever-ridden body down to the servant quarters, sweating through his nightshirt and panting laboriously.

Hanbin should have been sleeping around that time. Zhang Hao always hated how he’d fall asleep earlier and leave him with a few painful hours that he’d have to spend alone, but the light in his room that night was still turned on.

Zhang Hao knelt at his door. It was getting more difficult to breathe, but Hanbin’s faint presence on the other side slightly appeased the monster ravishing his body. 

It still wasn't enough. He needed more. 

So he tried a few knocks. No answer.

Was this it? Did he lose the only person he cherished in this entire world again? Had he been destined to have everything he’s ever loved ripped away from him for no fault of his own?

“Hanbinie, please don’t leave me,” he calls out, voice cracking pathetically.

The door finally swung open, and Hanbin looked down on him in a mixture of concern and something entirely different, something that matched Zhang Hao’s fervent desires.

His eyes were red.

“Ha-” Zhang Hao couldn't begin to explain himself before the alpha fell to the floor next to him, took his face in his hand, and led him to his lips. 

Their first kiss was awkward and rough, fueled by urgency and desperation, mouths crashing against each other. But they couldn't pull themselves apart. They needed to be closer. 

Hanbin smelled of sandalwood and citrus, interlaced with a faint powdery scent that felt intimately familiar. It provided Zhang Hao with instant relief, followed by an unquenchable hunger.

Fifteen minutes later, he was still delirious, unable to keep his thoughts straight as he sat on the edge of Hanbin’s bed.

His best friend just kissed him. He kissed his best friend back.  His best friend was sitting next to him with a massive tent in his pants.

Hanbin looked just as disheveled, his sweat-drenched, worn-out shirt was unbuttoned all the way down to his belly button, revealing an expanse of firm muscles and shapely pecs.

Zhang Hao felt as though he blinked, and the crybaby, rosy-cheeked boy he once knew suddenly grew into the man of his dreams.

But it was no wonder Hanbin had become so strong. He spent a good portion of his youth taking on odd jobs around the mansion, working in the stables, sweeping the kitchens, and even tutoring Zhang Hao briefly.

“It started today,” Zhang Hao whispers.

“It’s dangerous for you to come here, young master,” Hanbin says, voice pleading, filled with guilt. “You can’t appear in front of an alpha in this state. I-I- lost control earlier.”

“You’re not an alpha , you’re Hanbinie.” The distance he was drawing with his words angered Zhang Hao, and he lightly punched his arm in retaliation. He would have tackled him on the floor if he wasn't so frail. “Don’t lie to me. You didn’t magically decide that you wanted to kiss me for the first time tonight.”

“Even if I didn’t, that wouldn’t change anything.” Hanbin’s voice is faint and dejected. “Your Grace, I can’t live with myself if I compromise your future.”

It hurts a thousand times more than if he had simply said I love you . 

Not only was this flat-out refusal to act on his feelings, but it was also an acknowledgment of Zhang Hao’s reciprocated desire.

“What about our promise?”

Hanbin hung his head in defeat. Zhang Hao knew he was being immature and unreasonable, but how could he not while under the pain of his heat and his fear of losing the most important person in his life a second time?

“What if we don’t tell anyone?”

“What?”

“You could keep pretending to be a beta and remain by my side. We’ll spend my heats together,” Zhang Hao said. It was an insane plan, but he couldn’t see any other way out. “You’ll continue to live here and nothing has to change.”

Hanbin tried to argue, but Zhang Hao could see his face relax. Finally, a small ray of light at the end of this dark, hopeless tunnel. 

No matter how hard he worked, Hanbin could never climb out of his social status and meet Zhang Hao at the top. This was the only way they could remain together, and Zhang Hao had decided that he’d rather have him in the shadows than not at all.

He hoped Hanbin would feel the same.

“Nothing has to change…” Hanbin repeated, more to himself, before nodding firmly. “Just for now, then.”

Zhang Hao perked up and took Hanbin’s hand into his. “Lucky for us, I just happen to be in heat right now.”

Hanbin laughed for the first time in what felt like an eternity. “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“Do you ?” Zhang Hao scoffed. “Come on, we can figure it out together.”

He rested back on Hanbin’s small bed, dragging his best friend by the hand so he was nestled on top of him. Funny, they’ve been this close countless times before, while studying and playing outside in the sun and cuddling in bed on rainy days, but this was different. They were seeing each other through an entirely new lens. 

Hanbin entered him for the first time that night, and it was awkward and overwhelming and a little painful. They exchanged shy little smiles and nervous giggles whenever their eyes met, hands exploring all over before Hanbin settled on his hips while Zhang Hao looped his arms around his neck. 

Hanbin kissed Zhang Hao again and again, improving each time, perfecting what was about to become his favorite ritual.

Even though it was his first time, and with an omega deep into a heat that he induced with his pheromones, Hanbin maintained enough self-awareness and control to pull out once he felt himself approaching his release. Zhang Hao didn’t protest, but it was only later that he fully processed just how deep his love and care ran, just how selfless he was. Unfortunately, it only made him want to take Hanbin’s seed and bear his children more.

When they collapsed onto each other after, smiling as the exhaustion and relief lulled them into sleep, Zhang Hao snuck a look at Hanbin. That weight on his shoulder had finally been lifted, and his eyes were filled with pure bliss.

He wished he could freeze this moment in time and trap them in it for eternity.

In the present, Zhang Hao wakes up with Hanbin inside him.

“You did as I asked!” he exclaims. His butler had stripped them both naked and sheltered their bodies under the blankets. It’s dark outside now. How long had he been passed out for? “Feels good.”

Hanbin’s face lights up at the praise. He tangles their bodies further, and Zhang Hao nuzzles his face into his bare chest and allows Hanbin’s warmth and musky scent to envelope him. Safe, familiar, feels like home. “Are you better now?”

Zhang Hao hums happily, the fever-like effects of his heat subdued.

“You talked to the rest of the staff?” 

Hanbin nods. “Told them you’d be out of commission for the next five days.”

“And?” Zhang Hao narrows his eyes.

“That I’ll be busy until then,” Hanbin’s hands trail down to cup his ass. “Incredibly so.”

Most unmated omegas find their heats to be excruciating, a dreaded time that played a large role in their desire to mate as early as they can. But Hanbin’s companionship made it so that Zhang Hao had looked forward to his, even (unsuccessfully) attempting to fake it just so he could enjoy a few uninterrupted days of Hanbin bending him over every surface in his bedroom.

For the first few years, it was the only time Hanbin would touch him, still insisting that they’d only have sex out of necessity, but those pretenses fell as they found more and more reasons (excuses) for their misbehavior. Education, possessiveness, stress relief.

“Very good,” Zhang Hao breathes, already hard. He’d never felt Hanbin’s knot before, but the way he stretched him out now is satisfying enough. He lifts his leg and allows Hanbin to prop it over his waist. “You’ve already got a head start.”

Despite the cruel twists of fate, he sometimes believes that Hanbin’s body was sculpted just to love him. From his high body temperature to his soft, round chest to his massive cock, he is everything Zhang Hao had ever wanted.

“You were so patient today, young master, that I thought I’d make it up to you,” Hanbin says, kissing him softly and rubbing circles along his thighs. “You seem to really like it.”

Zhang Hao responds with a moan, allowing Hanbin’s mouth to unwind him more. 

“So full of yourself,” he mumbles, as though Hanbin’s rare displays of arrogance didn’t turn him on even more. It makes him imagine what he would’ve been like had he been born into the same wealth. If he had been his mate.

“I seem to recall you begging for my cock just a few hours ago,” he continues teasing, and laughs when Zhang Hao smacks his chest with a pout. “I have to admit that you’re holding up better now.”

“It’s not fair, you can’t tease me like this when I’m in heat!” Zhang Hao frowns. 

“My apologies,” Hanbin folds immediately. Typical. “Young master is the cutest when he’s sulking.” 

“No more, spoil me rotten.”

Hanbin obliges. “As you wish. What would you like?”

“Go slowly,” he commands. “I really want to feel you, all of you.”

He closes his eyes and his limbs turn into liquid as he allows Hanbin to get to work. Hanbin repositions himself slightly, taking a firmer grip of Zhang Hao’s thigh as he pushes himself deeper into him, groaning low as he establishes a steady pace.

He must have been holding himself back, because his composure crumbles with each thrust. It’s easy for Zhang Hao to forget that Hanbin is an alpha who always has to control himself around him. 

“Teasing me for my impatience when you were barely holding yourself together,” Zhang Hao says, burying his head into the nook of Hanbin’s neck and losing himself in his scent. “You didn’t just insert yourself inside me while I was asleep for my own sake, did you?”

Hanbin slams harder into him, right in his sweet spot. “I…Master…”

“Hah- You weren’t able to resist how I looked in my heat?” He continues to provoke him, and Hanbin reacts in turn by thrusting deeper, rendered into silence save for breathy, desperate grunts. “Sleeping so innocently, slick pooling down from my hole, already fucked open and ready for your cock?” 

His butler suddenly stops, and Zhang Hao whines as he pulls away from the comfort of his neck to pout at him until he relents, but his complaints lodge in his throat when he sees the hungry look in his eyes.

“So vulgar, young master,” Hanbin chastises sternly, but there is an unmistakable fondness in his voice. “For someone of your status to be using such language.”

“Hanbinie ruined me,” Zhang Hao mumbles, running his hand along his chest and squeezing his pecs. “Filled my head with filthy thoughts. It’s all I can think about now, just how big your cock is, how well it fits inside me, how good you are at fucking me.”

Hanbin takes his lips to shut him up, and Zhang Hao laughs into his mouth, enjoying the way his well-behaved butler continues to unravel and lose control. His thrusts grow faster and more erratic. Zhang Hao squeezes him tight as he cums, holding Hanbin closer as his pheromones overwhelm his senses through his orgasm. 

Hanbin continues to spoil Zhang Hao through the night, gently flipping him over on his stomach and allowing Zhang Hao to sink his face into the pillows as he fucks him, the mattress shaking and his strong hands kneading his ass cheeks and spreading them open, pulling Zhang Hao into his lap and rolling his hips into him, rougher and deeper as his master begs for more, inserting his tongue into his hole while pumping his cock after he’s run out of stamina, having spread his cum all over Zhang Hao’s thighs, stomach, and chest. 

The last thing Zhang Hao recalls before passing out again is Hanbin wiping him clean with a wet cloth, humming a gentle lullaby.

The next morning, he’s resting his head on Hanbin’s lap, watching as the sun rises and fills his room with brilliant light. 

He woke up to find that his butler had slipped a sheer pink nightshirt on him and opened the window to let him breathe the fresh, cool air.

The nights that Hanbin spends in his bed are his favorite, but they also hurt the most. Zhang Hao often wonders if this all would have been easier if he never experienced the warmth of Hanbin’s body pressing against his, if he didn't know the feeling of his hands and lips trailing over every inch of his body and purposely leaving his neck bare, if he wasn’t so familiar with the agonizing sensation of him pulling out right as he’s about to cum inside of him. 

For now, he decides that it could be worse. “Hanbinie, I’m so glad that you’re here.”

Hanbin smiles. “All of a sudden?”

“Omega hormones,” Zhang Hao throws out a half-baked excuse, as if he’s not this affection-starved every day of the year. “Makes me feel sensitive. Why, do you prefer the things I said last night?” 

Hanbin is laughing now, pressing a shushing finger to his lips, and his happiness fills Zhang Hao’s heart with warmth. He takes Hanbin’s hand and presses it to his cheek.

“I’m happy to be here too, young master.”

Zhang Hao prods him for more. “Is that all?”

“And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he reassures him, and Zhang Hao hums in approval.

They eat breakfast in bed together an hour later, Zhang Hao’s back resting against his butler’s chest, nestled comfortably between his legs as he feeds him.

“You have to eat too,” he says as he breaks off a piece of bread and cranes his head back to pop it into Hanbin’s mouth. Despite being just as exhausted, he often neglected his own needs in favor of pampering Zhang Hao. Worse, he never seems to realize it until his master points it out.

“There’s something on your face, young master,” Hanbin says with a slight frown as he puts the fork down and takes his chin into his hand. He licks a sliver of honey at the corner of Zhang Hao’s mouth, and Zhang Hao gasps and whimpers before moving to allow Hanbin’s tongue to penetrate his parted lips. 

He’s hard again, his erection poking at the nightshirt, and Hanbin slips his hand under it to wrap his hand around his dick, stroking his length at an agonizing pace while they continue to kiss, their food long forgotten. Zhang Hao watches in a daze after as Hanbin sucks the cum and slick off his fingers.

In the afternoon, Zhang Hao is bent over the basin of his washroom, his legs shaking as his Hanbin lifts his nightshirt to tease his cock around his hole. He was supposed to wash up, but heat coiled in his stomach once again and his slick dripped down to the floor, leaving him to beg for relief once again. 

Hanbin is pulling his thighs apart again, holding him up to fully support his weight as he fucks him, urgent yet less deliberate. He stays inside him when they enter the bathtub after, carefully washing a half-conscious Zhang Hao and humming that same comforting melody.

He falls back asleep into a pile of Hanbin’s clothes that night, hugging a shirt that Hanbin had discarded on the floor when he first brought them the day before. His butler had learned to hide some of his clothes hidden in Zhang Hao’s chambers for situations just like this one. 

Hanbin is lying next to him, watching with an unreadable expression. 

Zhang Hao’s legs feel weak, and despite his soreness and the fresh red spots dotting the hidden corners of his body, he’s clean and relaxed. Hanbin has the task of taking care of him down to a science.

He considers the prospect of another alpha performing the same role and replacing him one day, and he can’t muster anger anymore, tears stinging his eyes instead. 

He hugs Hanbin’s shirt closer, and slides the pillow he’d been sleeping on earlier between his thighs as he tries to choke back his sobs.

Why can’t this last forever?

 

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

On the eve of his fourteenth birthday, Zhang Hao stole a bottle and two glasses from the wine cellar and headed up to Hanbin’s tiny room in the servant quarters, just shy of midnight.

His parents didn’t have much time left. Nobody in the mansion would speak to him about it, but Zhang Hao wasn’t stupid, he could feel the somberness and slowly creeping chill of death suffocate him. He didn’t want to think about it. He was sick of crying himself to sleep and jolting up every morning drenched in sweat with his heart pounding in fear that they passed in his sleep.

The adults always talked about how drinking would numb their feelings and briefly make them forget their sorrows, and god knows he needed a break from his own thoughts. He couldn’t spend the night of his birthday feeling even more miserable, wondering if this really was the last one they had together.

It’s a pity they’ll never get to see him grow up.

“Young master, what were you thinking!” his best friend, who unfortunately grew up to be an insufferable goody-two-shoes, whisper-shrieked as he dragged him out of bed. “God, we’re going to be in so much trouble.”

He still allowed Zhang Hao to take his hand and sprint with him through the dark halls, up the grand staircase, and into the secret rooftop entrance that they had discovered together two years prior. Because Hanbin can never say no to Zhang Hao.

This was their spot, they’d frequently meet up there after everyone had gone to sleep to gaze at the stars, tell each other stories, and vent their fears and hopes into the night sky. It was safe, so far away from the harsh realities of life. A haven where only he and Hanbin existed.

“Hanbinie, you have to take a sip first,” he instructed once they settled down on the rooftop with their stolen treasure. “Tell me how it tastes so I know what to expect.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened at his request. “But it was your idea!”

“It’s my birthday, and you have to do anything I say on my birthday! That’s the rules, I didn’t make them up.” He very much made them up.

“You wouldn’t go horse riding with me when it was my birthday last month, though.”

“Anything that doesn’t involve my certain death,” Zhang Hao amended. There was one particular horse named Hanini that he was sure had it out for him somehow. Hanbin simply didn’t understand.

He tried to stand his ground, but the pathetic look on Hanbin’s face managed to sway Zhang Hao, and he rolled his eyes and huffed. “Fine, we’ll drink it together. On one, two, three-”

They clinked the glasses together and exchanged determined nods before downing the contents in one go.

It was disgusting.

Great, he was already feeling horrible, and now he had to deal with this revolting aftertaste too. He turned to his best friend, expecting him to have an identical reaction.

“Hmm, it’s not so bad?” Hanbin’s thick eyebrows were furrowed together in deep thought. “I’m starting to feel a little warm too.” 

“Well I feel nothing!” he nearly screamed, and his eyes began to water. Oh no.

Hanbin flinched back at the sudden shift in his mood, then noticed his expression and forgot about the wine entirely.

“Young master,” he took his hand, which only triggered a string of sobs. “What’s wrong? Why did you really steal that bottle?”

“I-I- just wanted to spend one night with you, where I didn’t have to think about all the- the- other stuff,” he gasped for air, tears running down his face as tried and failed to calm down. “And the stupid wine didn’t even work, I can still think of everything. I’m still so, so sad Hanbinie. It hurts so much.” 

“But I’m still here.” Hanbin took the glass out of his other hand and collected him into his ready arms. “Whether you’re laughing or crying. I’ll still be here.”

It wasn’t what he had hoped for, but Zhang Hao still received the relief he gravely needed that night. Hanbin’s simple reassurance, his unchanging love for him even as he spilled out his ugliest, most painful feelings made him consider that this world might yet be worth living in, that there was a place left for him after his parents were long gone.

Hanbin continued to drink after, absently reaching back for the glass and eventually the bottle. His cheeks somehow managed to turn pinker, he was swaying slightly, and their idle chatter progressively grew less coherent. 

Zhang Hao couldn’t bother to stop him, the ridiculous sight of his drunk best friend was cheering him up somewhat. He was going to tease him endlessly the next day.

“Look, a shooting star!” Hanbin suddenly exclaimed with a giggle, pointing a shaky hand at the sky. There was no shooting star. “Quickly, young master! You have to make a wish!”

Zhang Hao closed his eyes and wished to feel this loved and cared for every day for the rest of his life.

“I made my wish,” he said, and Hanbin gasped and claped excitedly like a seal. “What did Hanbinie wish for?”

“I wished to marry you, young master,” Hanbin confessed bashfully, and Zhang Hao’s heart dropped to his stomach. “I wished to become an alpha so I could be your mate and stay with you forever. That way, I can protect you from ever feeling this sad again.”

As an omega, Zhang Hao’s characteristics began to manifest very early, but it was rare for anyone to acknowledge it out loud, much less his best friend who seemed unable to have a single conversation on the topic without blushing furiously and avoiding his eyes.

Clearly, it had been on his mind a lot.

Nevertheless, Zhang Hao was thrilled at his best friend’s confession, and was eager to extract more of his hidden feelings while he still could. “Is that the only reason you want to marry me?”

“So I could finally kiss you on the lips,” Hanbin added with a dreamy sigh. “So we could have a big family together.”

Kissing? Nerdy little Sung Hanbin had been secretly thinking of kissing him all along?

“Big family?” he continued to prod, his heart now racing.

“Three daughters,” Hanbin answered without missing a beat. Oh, he really thought of this a lot . “Their names are-”

“S-stop!” Zhang Hao cut him off, realizing that he might have flown too close to the sun.  “It’s not like you can choose your secondary gender anyway, that’s not how that works.”

“Can’t I?” Hanbin asked defiantly, like he was taking on a challenge.

Zhang Hao was about to ask what he meant by that when Hanbin’s eyes fluttered shut as he slipped into deep sleep.

Hanbin never spoke of that night again, and so neither does Zhang Hao, who reasons that it was either out of embarrassment or because Hanbin didn’t remember much from that night.

 

Two weeks later, Zhang Hao sobbed into Hanbin’s arms at the funeral.

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

 

At Shen Ricky and Kim Gyuvin’s wedding reception, Zhang Hao feels more miserable than ever.

They had infuriated him for years, having had to watch them deny their clear attraction and mutual obsession play out at an agonizing pace. Kim Gyuvin had only spoken to him three times before, once when he was drunk and twice when he was trying to make Ricky jealous by flirting with the most desirable person in the room.

He watches them bicker even at their own wedding. Gyuvin says something to their friends with a shit-eating grin, and Ricky tries to look angry before breaking into a shy giggle, smacking his husband’s shoulder before he’s pulled into an apologetic kiss.

They had the luxury to waste their precious days of youth playing that little cat-and-mouse game, denying their love for each other for no reason other than stubbornness and the thrill of the chase.

If Hanbin had been born into nobility, Zhang Hao thinks that he wouldn't have wasted a single moment before branding him as his own.

“What are you thinking about, young master?”

About how unfair it is that those two idiots are married while we’re not.

“My remaining prospects,” he says halfheartedly. “Now that Gyuvin is off the market.” 

A snort escapes Hanbin, and he covers his mouth to hide an incredulous laugh. They both remember Zhang Hao’s panicked reaction when Gyuvin drunkenly asked him for a dance, tears in his eyes, because Ricky had been speaking to another alpha for more than five minutes. “Ah, you must be devastated.”

“I truly am,” Zhang Hao replies, smiling. “Let’s see, I think Jimin and Minjeong are next, they’ve been sticking to each other the last three times I saw them. Safe choice for either party, no comment. Soobin is still following that Yeonjun around like a lovesick puppy despite it being against his best interests. Sungchan seems set on entering an arranged marriage with Wonbin, but I don’t think his heart is fully in it. Jiwoong might approach me tonight, another one of his business ventures recently fell apart and he’s desperate for cash. Matthew and Taerae think they’re doing a great job of pretending to just be friends, but who hasn’t walked in on them kissing at this point? Sion’s mother has been prodding him to speak to me for ages, but he can’t seem to muster the courage to look me in the eyes just yet. And speaking of which, poor Jaehyun is making sad puppy eyes at me again.”

Zhang Hao doesn’t really have any friends, only useful pawns to move as he sees fit. After years of shuffling them around, he still hasn't found a formation that would lead to his own happy ending.

“And what does my master want?” Hanbin asks. He’s unnecessarily straightening the folds on the sleeves of Zhang Hao’s jacket, an excuse to initiate physical contact in public.

Truthfully, he’s a bit of a hopeless romantic. Having grown up hearing about his parents’ fairytale wedding, he spent his childhood dreaming about the day he would finally live his own, with fireworks, blue roses adorning the mansion halls, and a dashing groom who was pathetically obsessed with him.

“I want to get you drunk enough to sneak me out of this boring reception,” he answers, starting to feel agitated. “Based on previous experience, I don’t think it would take much.”

Hanbin smiles at him dangerously, pulling his hand away. “Just for that, I’ll refrain from touching you until we get home.”

Zhang Hao makes a ribbing motion in his direction, and Hanbin tries to suppress another laugh.

“Shall I consider other avenues, then?” Zhang Hao threatens casually. He waves to Jaehyun, who nearly trips over himself when he’s caught staring again. “I seem to recall one particular method proving to be extremely effective.”

There’s a growing bitterness as he goes through the motions of working up Hanbin’s appetite. It’s not so fun teasing and coaxing him like this when he can see others living the dreams he can’t even hope to have. He wants to kiss Hanbin openly too, he wants to proudly show off the mark on his neck, he wants to celebrate their love with a lavish wedding, he wants everyone to know that he belongs to Hanbin and Hanbin alone.

To his credit, Hanbin seems to sense that his heart is not fully into it, because he gives in to him easily. He lightly brushes over Zhang Hao’s fingers as he takes the glass in his hand. “You’d leave me with no choice, then.”

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Zhang Hao responds curtly.

It’s how he winds up backed against the bookshelves in the empty, dark library, far away from the noisy celebrations. Hanbin is grinding against him as they kiss, and Zhang Hao enjoys the possessive curl of his fingers around his neck after he spent far too much time in a room filled with other alphas. He doesn’t have to say the word, but Zhang Hao hears it in every hungry kiss. 

Mine, mine, mine.

Hanbin is already making his way down to his waistband, pushing his hand in to press into his bare skin. He made sure to lock the door, and Zhang Hao was thrilled when he realized that he obtained the key ahead of time for this purpose. His earlier threats were empty, a mere test of endurance.

Zhang Hao moans into his mouth, allowing Hanbin’s tight grip to guide him as he rolls his hips against his cock again and again. Even under the stuffy layers of clothing, the feeling of Hanbin’s erection poking against him has his heart racing, slick leaking down his rim in anticipation of taking it once again. 

He’s jolted out of his horny daze when fireworks ignite outside the window, followed by muted cheers as the guests pour into the garden. The reality of his situation hits once again. He’s sneaking away in the darkness, attempting to keep his voice down, while his peers celebrate their love with the entire world.

In his sadness and desperation, Zhang Hao allows his innermost desires to roam free.

“Hanbin,” he calls out, gently tapping Hanbin’s wrist to stop him from undressing him. “Could you pretend for just a moment?”

“What is it? I’ll be anything you wish for,” Hanbin answers without hesitation, his eyes wide. 

“Pretend that you’re my mate.” Hanbin’s face predictably falls, but Zhang Hao doesn’t give in. He knows Hanbin wants this too. “For just one night, it’s all I ask. Forget reality for a second and indulge me.”

“But I can’t-”

I can’t knot you.

Zhang Hao plants a soft peck on his lips. “Not that , I know. But I want to experience what it’s like to have a mate just once.”

Unspoken words hang in the air. What it’s like to have you as my mate.

“You only have to pretend you’re breeding me,” he adds nonchalantly, then grins widely when he catches Hanbin off guard. “What, you think I don't know what goes on in your mind while you’re fucking me?”

Hanbin doesn’t chastise him for his vulgar language this time. There is a long stretch of silence, and his butler stares down at the floor as he catches his breath.  Zhang Hao wonders if he’s finally asked for too much.

“Sweetheart,” Hanbin finally says when he meets his eyes again, fondness pouring out of every syllable. The nickname spills from his lips so easily, how long has he held on to it? How many times has he chanted it in his head in their most intimate moments? 

“My lord,” Zhang Hao answers with a gulp, addressing him as noble omegas do their alpha mate. Despite his lack of practice, it feels easy, natural, and most importantly, it ignites something in Hanbin.

He holds Zhang Hao’s hand and brings it to his lips. “You couldn't wait until we were home?”

Home . Hanbin has already said that word to him earlier today, but it’s different this time. His new authoritative tone paints a picture of a different place altogether, one that they share as equals.

Zhang Hao yearns for it.

“I just couldn't stop thinking of our wedding night,” he answers, fully slipping into his new persona. He imagined this wedding night countless times. Hanbin ripping off his garter with his teeth, cumming inside him for the first time, finally marking him. “Remember the look on your face when I confessed that I’d been thinking of you while fingering myself through my heats?”

In this universe, Zhang Hao and Hanbin had been betrothed to each other since birth, and their teenage years were split between innocent flirtation and pent-up desires, sometimes slipping through Hanbin’s lingering hands on Zhang Hao’s hips when they kiss, or Zhang Hao’s eyes trailing down to the bulge straining Hanbin’s trousers. They were wed three months after they presented.

“I’m thinking more about how you were rendered speechless once you saw how big I was.” Hanbin is smiling. “It seems you’re still just as eager.”

They’re sitting together on the floor now, and Hanbin coils an arm around Zhang Hao’s waist to drag him into his lap. Zhang Hao purposely sinks his weight down onto his cock, watches in satisfaction as Hanbin exhales heavily through his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to keep himself in check.

He thinks he’d love this Hanbin, the one who’s always hanging by a thread, in every universe.

“Well, this is more exciting, isn’t it?” Zhang Hao is whispering, knocking their foreheads together. He can see his lewd reflection in Hanbin’s glasses, his hair is a mess, his face is flushed and his lips are plump and shiny. “Doing it somewhere other than our bedroom for a change.”

“I don't think I would ever get bored of that, though” Hanbin answers bluntly, and a sinking feeling in Zhang Hao’s stomach tells him that he’s breaking character.

He knows Hanbin’s not simply playing along, that he’s not coming up with these things on the spot. If anything, they’re being fully honest with each other for the first time since they were eighteen.

“Uhm, regardless, I thought of giving you a little encore,” Zhang Hao hurriedly changes the subject to break the sudden tension. “With our anniversary coming up and all.”

“Does it involve you asking me if it could fit again?” Hanbin asks, and then tugs on Zhang Hao’s hand to keep him in place with a laugh as he attempts to leave. “Sorry, love. What was that about our anniversary?”

Zhang Hao’s brain short circuits at the emergence of a new nickname, and he takes a second to reel himself back instead of begging Hanbin to just mate him and be done with it already. “April 20th.” 

“A spring wedding…”

“One that I’ve always dreamed of,” Zhang Hao affirms. Of course Hanbin remembers.

He wonders if Hanbin remembers confessing to wanting to marry him too.

“How did that go again? I carried you to our room, crawled on top of you, finally kissed you exactly like I wanted.”

After their awkward first attempt all these years ago, he’s always kissed Zhang Hao so tenderly, but this is different. He sucks on his plush lips slow, languid, like he’s savoring him after a millennia of longing and self-restraint.

“Ah- My lord,” Zhang Hao writhes in his arms, completely lost in the fantasy. “I need you, I can’t wait any longer.”

“Prepped yourself for me?” Hanbin asks gently. He finds the waistband again and pulls it down before rubbing his thick fingers against the stains in his fitted, lace-trimmed undergarments. “You’re so wet already.”

His master nods frantically. In reality, he had refused to get out of bed this morning, already dreading Ricky and Gyuvin’s wedding, until Hanbin coaxed him with a blow job while fucking him open with his fingers, only agreeing to replace them with his cock once he promised to get up on time.

“I had trouble walking after that first time, even though I’d been stretching myself in preparation for weeks beforehand,” Zhang Hao whispers, labored and breathy. “Limping in front of your family and house staff the next morning while they pretended not to notice. Could you make me feel that way again?”

“Hmm, but what would our hosts think?” Hanbin slips two fingers inside, and Zhang Hao’s hole swallows them eagerly as he pushes himself down to his knuckles.

He curses under his breath before answering, sweat beads forming on his forehead. “Either that I’m too clumsy, or that my mate is still so obsessed with my body years into our marriage.”

Hanbin laughs. “As you wish.”

He continues to loosen him up with two more fingers, scissoring and curling them expertly, smiling when Zhang Hao mumbles a breathy yes, right there and blindly grinds against them, chasing the same sweet sensation.

“Let’s slow down for a second,” Hanbin says, stopping him with a firm hand on his lower back. He drags his slick-coated fingers out slowly and sets Zhang Hao down on his erection again. “I don’t want you to cum unless it’s from my cock. Can you feel how big and hard it is for you?”

“Just…for me,” Zhang Hao repeats. That’s right, Hanbin was made just to love him, he became an alpha for the sole purpose of pleasuring and breeding him.

“Alright sweetheart,” Hanbin calls again, and his heart clenches. He doesn’t think he can withstand going back to normal after this. Could this have been a bad idea? An hour of pleasure at the cost of long-term suffering? “Turn around for me, please.” 

Zhang Hao huffs and pouts, having not had enough of being spoiled in Hanbin’s lap just yet. “Bored of your husband’s face already?”

“Not a chance, love, it’s so I could cum deeper inside you,” Hanbin explains, pushing his frames up his nose. “I think it's about time that we try for another baby.” 

His mouth goes dry, and if it weren’t for Hanbin’s previous instructions, he would have cum on the spot. He didn’t really care much for the prospect of becoming a parent before, and sometimes even wished he was infertile so he and Hanbin could live their happily ever after without any obligations or guilt weighing him down, but Hanbin’s barely contained, sloppily hidden breeding kink and his desire to have a family with Zhang Hao warmed him to the idea.

Anything Hanbin was into, anything he loved found a special place in Zhang Hao’s heart as well. 

“Another?” he asks incredulously.

Hanbin waves three fingers in his face. 

Oh.

“You wanted an encore,” he trails light kisses along Zhang Hao’s jaw, attempting to hide his face as it blooms a pretty, deep pink. “And I did knock you up after our first time.”

His tone remains playful, but his words carry an additional layer of truth. Hanbin is genuinely afraid that a single lapse of judgment could result in impregnating him. Worse, he’s actively turned on by this possibility.

With his heart pounding in his ears, Zhang Hao slides off Hanbin and gets down on all fours. Hanbin sprints up and steals a cushion from one of the nearby armchairs for Zhang Hao to rest his knees. God, he’s thought of everything.

Considering his enthusiasm for the idea, it’s a miracle Hanbin had managed to pull out of him for years, every single time without fail. 

Zhang Hao arches his back, ass instinctively lifting higher in the air when he hears shuffling fabric, followed by a light thud on the floor. “This good?” he asks impatiently.

“So perfect for me, sweetheart,” Hanbin answers, and fuck, he’d better hurry or Zhang Hao won’t last much longer listening to him speak like this. 

After what just felt like a lifetime of teasing and anticipation, he finally begins to slide his cock in, and Zhang Hao’s silky entrance takes him in easily. Truthfully, every time feels like the first, like Hanbin’s length is going to split him open. But this is exactly how he liked it. Just like every other aspect of his life, he wanted Hanbin to possess him, to overwhelm him, to fill him in a way no one could, slotting perfectly into his tight hole as they came together as one. 

Hanbin’s hands settle on his hips, progressively pressing harder as he continues to push himself in. Zhang Hao can’t see him, but he can imagine the exact look on his face, with his usual sweetness all gone, replaced with furrowed eyebrows, heavily lidded eyes, and his tongue sticking out in concentration. 

“Hanbinie, I want it deeper,” Zhang Hao says, as though he’s not about to reach his limit. He struggles to remain upright, his shaky knees close to giving in, but it all feels too good to care. “I want you to fill me with your cum.”

“Fuck,” Hanbin hisses, further spurred by his demands. His panting grows louder, less even, and his hips snap forward, suddenly expanding every inch of Zhang Hao’s walls. His master releases a choked gasp and nearly collapses onto the cold floor. “Fuck, I can barely control myself like this.” 

Zhang Hao shouldn’t provoke him, he really, really shouldn’t when Hanbin’s so close to bursting inside him, but his brain has ceased functioning at the first mention of their wedding night. Oh, and the combination of their scents is just too delicious. He feels delirious, discomfort and pleasure making him lightheaded as his mind swirls with images of his hole leaking copious slick and semen, all used and spent after Hanbin’s finally had his way with him.

“To think that the simple idea of breeding me could turn you on this much,” he breathes, barely coherent. “You must’ve been so, so patient.”

He could be referring to their imaginary lifelong engagement, but they both know that wasn’t it.

Zhang Hao crossing the invisible line they had set seems to reel Hanbin back in, and he slows himself down briefly as he establishes his rhythm, teasing his master and taking his time feeding him his cock and pushing back deeper. 

He doesn’t acknowledge Zhang Hao’s remark, instead stroking his fingers along his waist before whispering: “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

Zhang Hao’s eyes begin to water, and not just because Hanbin is now hitting his prostate with each powerful thrust, milking his pretty suppressed whines as the precum gathers from his neglected cock, but because he’d managed to put his own desires aside for his sake once again.

But it isn’t like Hanbin isn’t still enjoying himself. On the contrary, Zhang Hao briefly turns around to see that his head was tipped upwards, eyes hypnotized by the sight of his hefty length being fully swallowed again and again, purposely prolonging his orgasm so he could enjoy this longer.

“F-feel like I’m about to-” Zhang Hao splutters, drooling slightly as his general speech commands begin to crumble. He swears it’s never felt this good before, Hanbin buried so far inside him he could practically poke at his womb, so, so close to impregnating him.

He’d really been holding himself back all along.

“I want to see you cum for me,” Hanbin is now fully supporting Zhang Hao’s weight in his arm, holding him in place over the cushion. “Feel you squeeze me tight as I knot you.”

That’s all it takes for Zhang Hao’s vision to fill with stars, coming with a shudder coursing through his body, Hanbin furiously slamming into him as he tenses around his cock tightly before going limp.

His knees fully give out, almost collapsing before Hanbin hoists him back up and pulls out. Even in his half-conscious post-orgasm state, he manages to string together a needy complaint. “Need you inside me still.”

“Just a second, love,” he says, flipping Zhang Hao over on his back and moving the cushion upwards to support his head instead. “I wanna see your pretty face, makes me cum faster.”

So stupid. Zhang Hao was only whining earlier for the sake of it, but Hanbin still took it to heart, tripping over himself to appease him. How could Zhang Hao even imply that he’d ever be tired of looking at his face?

“Come and get a closer look then,” Zhang Hao commands with a pout, stretching his arms out to invite Hanbin in as he bends down and enters him again.

They kiss filthy as Hanbin pounds him without restraint, his thrusts blunt and uncoordinated. 

“Gonna make sure you can’t walk tomorrow,” Hanbin is whispering against his mouth, almost in a trance. “So everyone can see how hard I’ve fucked you, so they know you took me all in.”

That’s not enough! Zhang Hao desperately wants to scream. With his mind still in a foggy daze, he threads through Hanbin’s jet black hair and pushes his head down, and for the first time in five years, Hanbin obliges.

His lips press on Zhang Hao’s delicate bare neck to plant a chaste, closed-mouth kiss. Zhang Hao closes his eyes with an overjoyed ah , keeping Hanbin in place with one hand on his back while interlocking their fingers with the other.

Somewhere in the deep pits of his consciousness, the voice of reason that he’s locked away for the night warns him about the future heartache he was inflicting for this fleeting moment of happiness. He kicks it down deeper as Hanbin continues to kiss and lick all over his neck.

Hanbin pulls out again as he comes close. Zhang Hao sits up shakily and slaps his hand off his dick to take him into his mouth instead, tasting himself while allowing Hanabin to fuck into it to completion with a few disjointed thrusts.

Zhang Hao only notices that the muffled voices of the wedding guests have begun to fizzle out when they’re lying down on the floor together, taking a brief moment to catch their breaths before discreetly leaving the premises.

He doesn’t speak, afraid that his little fantasy has now ended. It certainly will once they walk out that door.

“My lord,” Zhang Hao calls, testing the waters. To his relief, Hanbin responds with a smile.

“Yes, Zhang Hao?” He asks, pulling their linked hands to his chest. “You look so pretty tonight, sweetheart.”

“I want this to be real.”

Hanbin ponders his words, no doubt searching for the kindest way to turn him down. It’s more frustrating than ever because Zhang Hao just witnessed it all with his own eyes, knows with absolute certainty that Hanbin wanted it just as much. 

“It’s real right now, isn’t it?”

Let it go, back down and allow everything to return to normal.

But he couldn’t.

“Right now is not enough,” Zhang Hao replies sharply. He’s done shoving his feelings down and praying that they’d magically fizzle out someday. “I think I’ll want you forever.”

Hanbin brings their interlocked hands to his lips once more, closes his eyes, and inhales their shared scent. The subtle twitching at the corners of his mouth is a telltale sign that he’s trying not to cry. Zhang Hao recognizes it because he’d seen that face nearly every day when they were children. Little Hanbin would cry at everything, his pure, sensitive heart unable to withstand the harshness of this world just yet, and he resented himself for it. He’s become so strong since then, learned how to regulate his emotions to an almost mechanical degree.

I wished to become an alpha so I could protect you from ever feeling this sad again.

Zhang Hao wants to tell him that it’s okay to let his tears fall for once, but he fears that his acknowledgment of Hanbin’s moment of weakness would result in him clamping back into his shell. 

So they grieve together in silence.

 

 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

 

 

It’s quiet, but Hanbin can sense the tension in the air.

They’re alone together in Zhang Hao’s study, and his master has his back turned to him, leaning against his desk as he looks out into the garden below. There’s an unusual spur of activity in their quiet home as the staff rush to prepare for the weekend.

The spring ball Zhang Hao hosts every year is a remnant of his parents’ legacy, a tradition he’s kept alive out of obligation and expectations. Invitations were highly coveted, receiving one was a certification of your place among society’s elites. 

In recent years, though, it’s also become an unofficial competition for Zhang Hao’s hand. It’s no secret that the guest list had included every legible alpha bachelor in the kingdom, most of whom were eager for a chance at his inheritance. 

None of them have succeeded at holding his attention for long.

Hanbin knows exactly why. Zhang Hao never looked more alive than he did the night of Ricky and Gyuvin’s wedding. Even in the darkness, Hanbin could see him melt whenever he was addressed without any formalities, as an equal, as a lover.

He feels…strange. That was the first time Hanbin had ever fully laid his heart bare like this, voiced out the words he’d only whisper in his head, acted out on the fantasies he’d only allow himself to indulge in when he’s all alone. He’d been suppressing himself for so long that his baseline for emotional expression was severely skewed. 

Anyone would find it laughable that Hanbin would describe what he’s done in the past five years as restraint, but their intimacy barely constituted ten percent of everything he desired from Zhang Hao.

He wants Zhang Hao so badly that he feels it would kill him. In his weakest hours, he wishes it would.

And like every other line they crossed, every gap that diminished, Hanbin and Zhang Hao found that they were in perfect harmony. The intensity of their feelings was mirrored.

It’s been already been a month since then, and although they both pretended to go back to normal, it was clear that nothing was the same.

“Hanbin, do you really think it’s ever gonna happen?” Zhang Hao suddenly asks, stopping his train of thoughts in its tracks.

He loves asking enigmatic questions, and would sulk and take offense if Hanbin doesn’t immediately grasp the context. You really have to ask? Don’t you care about me?

Hanbin does catch the meaning most of the time, but given the current circumstances, he’s unable to decipher his words. 

“What will, young master?”

No complaints, only an exasperated, disappointed sigh. “If I’m ever going to mate with someone else.” 

His response is automatic. “I’m sure you w-”

“I simply can’t imagine it. I can’t even stomach the thought.” His voice is even and cold, like he’s simply sharing his stream of consciousness. “Even if I try and force myself, I can’t picture a stranger living here, talking to me, touching me, not when I belong to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin whispers. He inches closer and wraps his arms around his waist.

Zhang Hao snorts, a sad defeated noise. “I’ll think of you every day for the rest of my life, of your hands eclipsing mine, of the fond smile on your face when you think I’m not looking, of your sweet voice lulling me to sleep. I’ll spend the rest of it miserable knowing that I had to lose you.”

“I can order the staff to cancel the ball, and I’ll spend every night this week with you instead, young master,” Hanbin offers hastily, feeling the knife lodged in his heart twist deeper. It’s a band-aid solution, but it's all he can offer right now

Zhang Hao turns around to face him. “Not just tonight, Hanbinie. I’ve made up my mind.”

Hanbin is scared. He shouldn’t be allowed to want this. “Please-”

“Sung Hanbin, I’ve chosen you to be my mate.”

He doesn’t deserve to hear it.

Zhang Hao points to his lips, and Hanbin holds his face in his hands and kisses him, listening to his master’s relieved sigh against his mouth. Hanbin’s words fail him, but the affection pouring from every touch is undeniable.

“Would you send me away if I refused?” he whispers.

Was Zhang Hao handing him an ultimatum? Threatening to never see him again if he doesn’t agree to the one request Hanbin can’t say yes to?

“I wouldn’t, I can’t bear it.” Zhang Hao bites his bottom lip. “Hanbin, if you leave I…I really think that I’m going to die.”

His parents died hours apart in what the other servants described as a heartbreak-induced death. It seemed so ridiculous to him at first, a mere romantic fantasy, but Hanbin perfectly understands that feeling now. Is a life where they’re apart truly worth living?

“I think I would too.”

The bitterness melts from Zhang Hao’s face, and he musters a weak, albeit hopeful smile. “Hearing you speak your mind for the first time that night changed everything for me. Please, I don’t want to hear about all the practical reasons why we can’t. I just want to know how you feel.”

“I’m afraid,” Hanbin confesses. “That it would make things so much harder for both of us if I spoke.”

“Haven’t we passed that point by now? It would’ve hurt less if I never asked you to stay, it would’ve hurt less if we never had sex, it would’ve hurt less if we didn’t spend every waking moment together, and I certainly wouldn’t have this open gaping wound in my chest if I didn’t get a taste of what it’s like to have you as my mate.” Zhang Hao’s eyes are determined. “I can’t stand it anymore, Hanbin. I don’t want to live a shadow of the life I truly want.”

The excuses die in his throat when faced with Zhang Hao’s passion and stubbornness, his will to fight for Hanbin stronger than anything he’s ever seen.

“I remember the first time I knew I wanted to marry you,” he starts slowly. “We were eleven and twelve, and I was crying all morning because my mother scolded me for referring to myself as your friend to your parents’ guests. I was so naive back then, I didn’t know my place and stepped over the line.”

“But you hadn’t done anything wrong,” Zhang Hao protests, frowning. 

Hanbin smiles fondly and holds him closer. “That’s it, that was the exact face you made when you found me. You skipped all your lessons and activities to spend the rest of your day cheering me up, and that was how we ended up playing in your father’s study.”

“Ha, I loved sitting on his desk and pretending to be the head of the house. It's ironic now that I’d like nothing more than to abandon all my responsibilities and disappear from here.”

“I’d always play along too!” he laughs. “I was fetching a legal document for you from one of the drawers when I stumbled on a wedding album, and you were so ecstatic that you’d abandoned whatever scenario we had come up with to look at it with me, and that devolved into us describing our dream weddings and mates.”

Zhang Hao’s face is flushed. “Ah, I think I remember that day now.”

“Oh yes, you were so precise. He had to be taller than you, strong and muscular, shared your love for music, protective, loyal, and most importantly, devoted to you. Looking back at it now, it was all because you’d filled your head with a steady diet of romance novels.” He rolls his eyes, and Zhang Hao smacks his chest lightly. “Eleven-year-old me, however, did not have any more sense than you did, and I was furiously jealous. I felt a scalding burn in my chest for the first time of what would become many. Worse, when you turned to me, completely oblivious to the fact that I was strangling this hypothetical man in my head, and asked about what I wanted, I realized that I had a single, clear answer.”

“What was it?” he asks despite knowing the answer, giddy smile and rising cheeks betraying his anticipation. 

“You, young master. Just you, exactly as you stood before me then.”

Zhang Hao sighs. “My Hanbin.” 

They’re kissing again, and it feels more exhilarating because the memories of yearning are so fresh in Hanbin’s mind. He’d given up on his dream from the moment he learned the words to describe it, never dared to hope it would be within reach as it is now.

“I wanted to marry you every single day since, twelve years and counting. Do you know just how much I’ve kept to myself in that time? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“And I’m offering you a lifetime to tell me,” Zhang Hao pleads. “I’m never going to mate with anyone else, and I think we’ve both known that for a very long time.”

“Your reputation…your inheritance…your family’s legacy…” 

Zhang Hao shakes his head. “I can’t allow my life to be ruled by ghosts anymore. I want to pursue happiness with the person who’s actually by my side now. I don’t just want your protection Hanbin, I need you to trust me as a partner.”

Hanbin and Zhang Hao have gone through hell together, forced to grow up and put on a brave front to ensure their survival and protect each other. The person standing before him isn’t the terrified and lonely 14-year-old who had just lost his parents. He is Duke Zhang Hao, the last member of his family, admired and feared by many, the bravest and strongest person he’s ever known.

Who is Hanbin to refuse him? 

His dream is a fingertip away, all his for the taking.

“I’m all yours,” he says, his voice is clear and filled with conviction.

Zhang Hao gasps, exhales twice, and begins to sob. He collapses into Hanbin’s arms, and Hanbin realizes that he must have maintained a stony facade so as to not alarm him or make him question the sincerity of his confession. He needed him to know that he meant every word.

“Tell me again,” he demands with an adorable sniffle. “In more words.”

Fondness blooms in Hanbin’s heart. “I’m in love with you, I belong to you.”

“More.”

“Before I go to sleep, I close my eyes and pray that my dreams would take me to a reality where we can be together. Even while holding you now, I wonder when I’m going to wake up.”

Zhang Hao pinches his cheek, smiling through the tears when he winces in pain. “And what else?”

“I realize now that I’ve said everything I wanted out loud that it’s not as scary as I thought it would be,” Hanbin says. “I trust you, Zhang Hao.”

He backs Zhang Hao against the desk, and their lips connect again. Hanbin sneaks a hand up his shorts, and his heart rate shoots to the sky. Zhang Hao is all his now, no restraints, no guilt.

His possessive streak rears its ugly head again, and a low growl escapes his throat as their kiss deepens. No other alpha can speak to him again, no one should be allowed to see those thighs except Hanbin, Zhang Hao should have eyes for him and him alone.

Zhang Hao responds positively, humming into his mouth as he deepens the kiss.

Shit, Hanbin is already hard. It's difficult for him to keep things in check knowing that he can now fully have Zhang Hao. His intentions must be clear, because Zhang Hao can smell the change in his scent and feel his erection against his leg.

Zhang Hao breaks apart from him to look down, and his scent grows sweeter. “Hanbinie, I think there's still a little bit more that you need to tell me.”

His temperature is rising, and his vision sharpens, zeroing in on his master. 

“I think I’m going into a rut.”

“Ah,” Zhang Hao says, and his gaze darkens. 

“S-sorry, it’s impossible for me to control myself when I’m like this.” Hanbin says laboriously, grinding his hips against Zhang Hao’s thighs. “I’ve never had it come on spontaneously like this and-”

“Hanbin, it’s okay,” Zhang Hao assures him, pressing a peck to his warm cheek. “Your body must be releasing all your suppressed pheromones. Let me help you, hmm?”

He lightly pushes Hanbin into the desk chair and settles between his legs. Zhang Hao looks up at him, his eyes filled with love and lust. 

“My lord,” he coos as he drags Hanbin’s trousers and undergarments down to his ankles. “Love of my life, finally in your rightful place.” 

Hanbin groans at the sight of Zhang Hao on his knees, eyes hazy, lips parted and ready to take his cock.

He takes him into his hand, thumb swiping over the head as he licks along his shaft, and his warm, wet tongue drives Hanbin insane in anticipation of what was about to come. He’d been so patient for years, but now that he’s this close to finally getting what he’s always wanted, he finds it impossible to stay still.

Zhang Hao shakes his own clothes off before fully taking him into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks him off, all while fingering himself hastily in preparation of taking Hanbin’s knot.

Hanbin digs his fingers into the arm of the chair, throwing his head back while bucking up his hips, fucking into Zhang Hao’s mouth desperately. 

“Ready for you now, my lord,” Zhang Hao says after releasing Hanbin’s cock with an obscene pop. He’s equally worked up now, out of breath and eyes hazy. 

He stands up, knees wobbly, and swears prettily under his breath as he reaches blindly for the desk behind him for balance, his slick dripping down his thighs.

Hanbin couldn’t keep him any longer. He takes Zhang Hao by his waist and props him up on the desk.

“What do you wish for?” Hanbin asks out of habit. Truthfully, there is only one thing he can do at the moment, and it was to fill Zhang Hao with as much of his cum as he could take.

“I want to please you,” Zhang Hao replies, wincing as he rests his back on the cold mahogany. “Let you handle me as you like.”

He places his hands under his thighs and cranes his legs apart, looking up at him with a dazed, filthy gaze, and Hanbin feels as though he’s seeing God. His master stripped down, hole stretched open, his cock hard and leaking, all for him alone.

Ready for their first time as lovers.

He slips inside Zhang Hao’s tight entrance and fills him up swiftly, feeling instant relief as his entire length is hugged and squeezed.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Hanbin says breathily, Zhang Hao smiling wider with each swear. “It feels so much better like this, almost like the first time.”

It’s a combination of his rut, their moments of intimacy decreasing over the past month, and Hanbin fully breaking out of the tight leash he tied around himself.

“Taking your virginity a second time? That's just how good I am.”

“So good,” Hanbin agrees with his nonsense without hesitation. “Perfect for me.”

He fucks him roughly, unable to hold himself back any longer as his cock is absorbed by tbe addictive drag of his wet, tight rim.

“Hanbinie,” Zhang Hao whines. “Are you close?”

Hanbin can only nod, his thrusts coming in harder as he feels himself get closer, breathing deeply as he allows himself to unravel, gives in to his primal instincts as his cock expands inside of Zhang Hao.

And it’s better than everything that he’d ever thought it would be, better than wet dreams and lonely ruts and the times where he’d simply imagine it while fucking Zhang Hao.

“Are you okay?” he manages to spit out, his love and concern still finding its way amidst the horny fog in his brain. 

“Taking even more of you- splitting me open- feels so good-” Zhang Hao is barely coherent, his back lightly lifts off the table as he moves to meet Hanbin’s thrusts. “I want it inside me, please please please -”

Hanbin’s knot fully is formed, and he comes inside him with a low groan, his cum filling Zhang Hao as his heat clenches and squeezes around him, as if lapping up every last drop. 

Zhang Hao comes untouched a few seconds later, the sensation of being bred for the first time overloading every nerve of his body.

They breathe heavily in unison as the knot locks them together in place, and Hanbin can’t help but place his palm on Zhang Hao’s cum-stained stomach.

“Eager to knock me up already?” Zhang Hao teases, watching him in amusement, and Hanbin has the decency to look embarrassed.

“You already know how I feel about that,” Hanbin responds sheepishly. 

“Don’t think you’re done taking care of me, because I’ll be so fussy while pregnant,” he continues sternly, his cute demanding voice a preview of what’s to come. “Will need you to spoil me around the clock if I’m going to carry your children.” 

He can’t just say things like that, because Hanbin is already feeling himself getting worked up again.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to spoil you every second for the rest of your life.” 

Hanbin picks Zhang Hao off the table, and he yelps, tightly coiling all his limbs around Hanbin’s body like a koala. 

“Love when you call me that,” Zhang Hao says as he settles into Hanbin’s arms. He slides the narrow glasses off his face, expression softening as he takes all of Hanbin in. “Hmm, you think our babies will have pretty lashes like yours?”

He sets them down on the chair carefully, which is fortunately just wide enough to hold them both. “You keep saying these things just to wind me up more, aren’t you? Perverted young master.”

Zhang Hao pouts at the return of the title, but Hanbin can feel his excitement rise again at the scolding. Seems like it’s something he’ll continue to enjoy even as they begin their lives as husbands.

“Don’t waste any time,” Zhang Hao says, rising up and slamming himself down into Hanbin’s cock with an obscene, wet sound. “Fill me up more.”

Zhang Hao is right, this is exactly where Hanbin belongs, seated on the Zhang Family throne, his soulmate pleasuring him and milking his dick of semen.

He thrusts up to meet his hips, and Zhang Hao quickly loses control and allows Hanbin to hold him in place and fuck him mercilessly.

Hanbin looks up. He spent a lifetime woshipping Zhang Hao’s beauty, brushing his soft blond strands, counting the constellation of moles on his face, kissing his plush lips, but he still thinks this is the prettiest he’s ever locked. 

“May I?” he asks, fingers pressing into his neck.

“Took you too long to ask,” Zhang Hao breathes, tipping his head back. “Make me yours.”

They both come again as Hanbin sinks his teeth into Zhang Hao’s sensitive skin, his world expanding into a vast galaxy as he ascends, overwhelmed by the rush of electricity forging their permanent bond.

All his doubts about their future are extinguished, and his trust and love for his mate imprint into his DNA.

He immediately gains a new sense of clarity. This is the right decision, and he and Zhang Hao are going to be okay no matter what, for as long as they're together. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks shortly after, licking and kissing around the fresh red mark.

“A little,” Zhang Hao admits. “But it’s nothing compared to how happy I am right now.”

“I’m happy too,” Hanbin responds with a gentle smile. “Are you tired yet, love? I can take care of myself if you are.”

“I am, but I still want more.” he rests his tired body against Hanbin’s chest. “It feels too good, ten times better than anything we did before..”

“Shall I take you back to your room, then?” Our room.

Zhang Hao shakes his head. “N-no! Not yet, I don’t want you to pull out just yet.”

“Just once more, then,” Hanbin agrees. 

“And also…”

“Hmm? Anything you’d like, sweetheart.”

“I remember just how much you liked taking me from the back,” he whispers, embarrassed. “It turned me on so much too.”

How the hell is Hanbin meant to keep his hands off him for most hours of the day?

Zhang Hao removes his wobbly arms from Hanbin’s shoulders and turns around, and Hanbin already mourns the loss of the sight of his freshly marked neck, and Hanbin obliges, pulling them both up again and guides Zhang Hao towards the window.

“W-what are you doing!”

Hanbin looks out over his shoulders and into the garden. “They can’t see us from here, but I’d like to imagine that everyone does.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Zhang Hao giggles, and Hanbin can feel him release a new gush of slick.

“All the guests at that ball, watching me defile you and take you as my own,” he whispers in his ears as he begins to pick up the pace again, having not yet had enough. He doesn’t think he ever will. They’ll probably spend Zhang Hao’s next heat fucking for three days straight, minimum . “The most desirable person in the room, but only I get to fill you with my seed.”

“H-hanbinie, please give me more,” Zhang Hao says, and his faint, teary eyed reflection in the mirror pushing Hanbin closer to his release.

He takes Zhang Hao’s cock into his hand again and strokes him to the rhythm of his powerful, deep thrusts. Hanbin comes inside him a third time, filling him to the brim.

He finally pulls out as Zhang Hao’s body turns into liquid, and watches as a thick trail of semen gushes down his legs. Zhang Hao inserts a finger back into his rim, massaging his walls to feel Hanbin’s cum inside him while Hanbin continues holding to his waist, hugging him tight as he kisses and sucks at his mate mark.

His feverish need to possess and breed has been satisfied for now, replaced by a serene, secure feeling. He finally feels peace, perhaps for the first time since he stepped foot in this mansion. 

Zhang Hao turns to face him, and smiles when he sees that all his anxiety had been wiped away. They don't need words, not anymore now that their hearts have merged into one. 

 

Three days later, Hanbin is looking at his reflection in the mirror nervously.

“Do you really think it’s okay?”

He’s agitated, and for good reason. After all, who on earth makes their first formal appearance in society on the same night they were planning to announce their engagement?

“It’s my taste, and I know Hanbinie better than anyone,” Zhang Hao responds confidently. “Of course you look okay.”

They’re in their room, standing on a massive pile of clothes as his mate prepares him to take the spotlight at the upcoming ball. Zhang Hao knew he couldn't have the grand wedding he’s always dreamed of anymore, so he decided that the second best option was to reveal their engagement this weekend.

He throws a velvet dark blue tie he was fiddling with around Hanbin’s collar, smacking his hand away when he tries to help.

“I know how to do it,” he says stubbornly. 

“I’ll trust you,” Hanbin agrees sincerely, even as Zhang Hao’s fingers fumble around the fabric and he nearly chokes him.

The end result is a little sloppy, but he feels no desire to fix it. 

Zhang Hao grabs his shoulders and has him face the mirror again, and Hanbin wonders if he’s looking into a portal to his dreams. The Duke and his devoted alpha, standing proudly together, ready to face the world fearlessly.

“How do I look?” Hanbin asks.

“Like you were made just for me,” his mate answers, pressing a reassuring kiss to his cheek.

 

 

.·:*¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨*:·.

 

Ten years later

 

Duke Zhang is a different man altogether.

Myung Jaehyun could attribute it to age and the long stretch of time since he’s last seen him, but he knows there is something else too.

Zhang Hao’s decision to mate with a servant out of wedlock and marry him had sent ripples of shock across the kingdom. Rumors swirled that the servant had done it accidentally, leaving Zhang Hao with no choice but to marry him, but they were quickly dispelled once everyone realized that the Duke had rebuffed every advancement for a reason. He had someone in mind all along.

The royal family wasn’t too pleased with his transgression, and their cold reception towards him pressured the rest of the nobles to follow suit. Zhang Hao wasn’t stripped of any titles, but everyone’s reluctance to socialize or do business with him had left him to fend for himself. 

But you wouldn’t know this looking at him now. Zhang Hao is positively glowing, smiling as he feeds his husband a small pastry and laughs when his eyes widen at the taste. They’re in their own world, blissfully ignoring the scandalized stares and whispers around them. Why shouldn’t they? They’ve proved everyone wrong and now get to celebrate their love out of the shadows.

Sung Hanbin is a brilliant man. Despite his lack of formal education and his humble background, he’d managed to keep up with his partner, working tirelessly to expand their domain by acquiring more land and helping it thrive, nearly doubling their fortune and angering the royals even more.

“You invited him here,” Taesan says as he sneaks up behind him, and Jaehyun leaps back in surprise. “But won’t even go talk to him.”

“I didn’t think he’d actually come,” Jaehyun tells his mate. “You sound a tad bit jealous to me.”

Zhang Hao rarely attended any social functions in the past 10 years. Jaehyun suddenly remembered him as he went through the guest list for his upcoming ball and invited him as an afterthought without any real expectations.

Taesan shoots him an icy look. “Don’t think I haven’t heard about your longstanding crush on the Duke before we met.”

“Only because I hadn’t met you yet,” he replies easily, and Taesan rolls his eyes, but Jaehyun can see he’s fighting a shy smile. “And besides, that quickly died once I spoke to him and his mate’s aggressive, possessive aura upon seeing the Duke with another alpha nearly knocked me off my feet. That was back when he was still… you know .”

His husband raises an eyebrow, now invested in the gossip. “Oh, you noticed it even then?”

He nods. “I didn’t fully understand what was going on then, I just knew that I shouldn’t approach him anymore. I was wondering why the Duke had been so reclusive, but it made sense that he would be to protect their secret.”

“Well, he is waving in our direction now.”

“Wha-”

“Myung Jaehyun! and his husband!” Zhang Hao is rushing over to him, and Jaehyun realizes that he must not have noticed him staring this time. He wasn’t tensely monitoring the crowd anymore, all his attention now devoted to Hanbin.

“It’s good to see you in such high spirits, Your Grace,” he nods politely. “I’m so happy you could make it tonight.”

“I haven’t been to one of these things in so long,” Zhang Hao clearly had quite a bit to drink before approaching him, swaying a little as Hanbin trails behind him and places a firm arm around his waist to keep him steady. “Of course I wanted to come.”

“What His Grace means is that he’s grateful to have this opportunity, and that he’s thankful that Viscount Myung continues to hold him in such high regard,” Hanbin translates without missing a beat. He’s smiling at Jaehyun, almost apologetically for their awkward first interaction all those years ago.

“And it took a lot of convincing to bring this one along,” Zhang Hao pouts at Hanbin. “He could not bear to stay away from the girls for a single night.”

Jaehyun and Taesan exchange amused looks. They had gotten a lot more than they’d bargained for. 

“Parenthood is simply so rewarding,” Hanbin says serenely, cleanly dodging his mate’s embarrassing revelation. “Do you two perhaps have any children?”

“Not yet,” Jaehyun responds, trying his best not to laugh. “We’ve only been together for two years.”

“Seems like a handful,” Taesan agrees darkly. 

“Ah, Hanbinie got me pregnant a month into our marriage,” Zhang Hao responds nonchalantly, and Hanbin gives up and buries his face into his hand. “In fact, when he was trying to convince me to stay home earlier today, he said sweetheart, wouldn’t you like to try for a fourth? ”

“I did not say that!” Hanbin protests, dragging his husband closer into his arms.

“Yes you did,” Zhang Hao digs an accusing finger into his chest. “If I recall correctly, we’re only here because I promised we’d try after we came home tonight.”

Taesan tugs on Jaehyun’s sleeve, and he immediately understands that it’s their cue to leave.

“Er, it was lovely seeing you again Your Grace,” he says as they begin to make a strategic retreat. The two lovebirds looked one argument away from making out in public, and he decided that perhaps he and Zhang Hao should know a lot less about each other after all.

As Zhang Hao and Hanbin continue to bicker into the night, hands all over each other and fondness pouring from their eyes, Jaehyun thinks that their hardship was all a small price to pay, because the wallflower he’s watched for years is finally in full bloom. 

Notes:

thank you so much for reading! this fic was actually my first attempt at writing abo, and if it wasn't for the constant stream of encouragement and support from my beloved friends i probably would have given up and abandoned it long ago.

i put a lot of my heart into this story, and i am really looking forward to reading your thoughts and opinions 💕

you can also find me on twitter and retrospring ^_^