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"And even if Kay begs you to give her candy do not, under any circumstances, actually do it. In general, the best course of action is not to let her do anything. Also-"
"Edgeworth, it's fine.” Phoenix interrupted him, eyes crinkled in mild amusement."I have three kids of my own, you know. I think I can handle another two."
"Of course." Edgeworth gripped his elbow tightly. "I hadn't meant to imply that you are not a capable parent."
"Nobody said anything about me being a bad parent,” Phoenix grumbled.
He shook his head and shot Edgeworth a small smile which he hoped looked natural enough.
"Go on to your important prosecutor meeting. We'll be fine."
Edgeworth sighed and nodded.
"I am again very sorry about springing this on you so suddenly. As I have previously mentioned, the good detective is away on a case and calling a nanny on such short notice would have certainly been impossible."
"Edgeworth, I told you, it's completely fine. Always happy to help an old-” Phoenix paused. "Acquaintance."
The prosecutor coughed awkwardly. "Well then, I guess I should get going." He turned towards the two children who had been intently listening in on the whole conversation. "Be good and don’t cause any problems for Mr Wright. Especially you, Kay."
The young girl crossed her arms with an indignant huff. "Mr Edgeworth, are you sure Gummy can't come today?" She whined.
Edgeworth pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I am certain." He took a quick look at his watch, eyes widening slightly. "I really need to get going. Goodbye you two. Mind your manners. And thank you again, Wright, truly."
Before Phoenix could respond, Edgeworth had already walked out of the door, the twin responses of "Bye, Mr Edgeworth!" echoing after the click of the handle.
Phoenix turned to the kids and was met with two curious gazes, one more intense than the other. Kay stepped forward and narrowed her eyes at him.“You’re a lawyer, right?"
The man in question gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Yes, a defense lawyer."
At the response, Kay nodded her head, a very solemn expression on her face. She beckoned him to lean down with a quick hand motion. Almost instinctively, Phoenix obeyed, being reminded of Trucy doing the same thing back home before taking coins from behind his ear.
"What do you say about working together with a thief?" She whispered conspiratorially.
"Kay! Stop telling people that you are a thief!" The young boy, who had been oddly quiet until then, interjected.
Phoenix was pretty sure Kay had not spoken loud enough for him to hear but maybe he was just that used to his sister's antics.
Kay crossed her arms in an obvious show of defiance. "Not yet! I need to make some connections first," she retorted matter-of-factly. "You know nothing about the business world, Sebby."
"Mr Edgeworth told us to make a good first impersonation." Phoenix furrowed his brows at the wording. "Don't be embarrassing."
Kay ignored her brother and turned back towards Phoenix.
"I'll be in my room if you need me." She whispered again, hand cupped against the side of her mouth.
She suddenly bolted, taking a sharp turn when entering what could have only been her bedroom, all the while making some weird sounds which oddly sounded like… crow noises?
Sebastian disapprovingly watched her run off, most likely noting in his head the at least 30 social faux pas that Kay had committed in a three-minute conversation. He sighed forlornly, "It's hard being the responsible one sometimes…"
The boy extended his hand towards Phoenix, which the man shook tentatively.
"Sebastian De-" The boy stuttered for a second. "Sebastian." He let go of Phoenix's hand. "And you must be Mr. Might."
"Wright, actually." Phoenix awkwardly corrected. He was sensing a theme with this kid.
Sebastian cocked his head and gave him a confused look. "That's what I said."
Phoenix opened his mouth before closing it again, seemingly giving up. "Yes. Of course you did."
Sebastian continued, "Well, if you get lost in the house or have any questions, just come to me." He puffed out his chest slightly. "I'll be in my room."
He walked away with a flourish and dramatically slammed the door behind him.
Phoenix blinked once. A flair for the dramatic, stuck in their own world, an aversion to admitting to having made a mistake. Well, they were certainly Edgeworth’s kids, no doubt about that.
After the interesting introductions, he braced himself for the two children to cause some problems, some mischief, a prank or two, especially after the long-winded explanation and numerous warnings Edgeworth had given him. But surprisingly, except for some classical music coming from Sebastian's room and the occasional mysterious loud sound from Kay's room, nothing had happened.
And this was wholly unexplored territory for Phoenix. Because it was nearing lunch time. And nothing had happened.
No magic tricks gone wrong. No psychological experiments being performed on unwilling participants. No sibling quarrels or arguments.
Nothing had happened. And it was lunch time.
While stirring in a pot of chicken soup he had improvised with the few food items Edgeworth kept in his basically barren fridge, Phoenix fell deep into thought. Many had told him that his train of thought was bizarre, if not downright nonsensical, and that many of the connections he would make were more so inconsequential ramblings than anything else.
They would deviate from the evidence of an upcoming case about a locked room library murder, to wondering if he could afford buying the new book Apollo asked for, to wondering why Apollo needed a new book if he had just gotten one a couple of days ago.
Now, his thoughts were mostly about Edgeworth. Or better said about Edgeworth’s kids.
When the prosecutor had called him that morning and asked if he could watch his children for a couple of hours, slight desperation in his tone, Phoenix had been pretty excited at the idea.
He and Edgeworth might have been on complicated terms, but any opportunity to learn about the other’s personal life he usually kept tightly under wraps was a once in a lifetime occurrence.
Still, it seemed like Edgeworth was set on besting him in every aspect of their lives, including the familial one. He couldn’t help but feel that the usual ruckus going on in the Wright house was a personal failure on his part. It had taken him ages to build a rapport with his kids and there still were small incidents here and there, but Edgeworth seemed to have everything under control as always.
A sharp gasp of pain snapped Phoenix out of his thoughts. He whirled his head around towards the noise, only to be met with a visibly in pain Sebastian cradling his right hand to his chest.
Quickly putting two and two together, Phoenix turned off the oven and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“Oh God- Did you burn yourself on the pot?”
Sebastian’s eyes flitted panickedly between Phoenix’s face and the unassuming pot, an apparent war of attrition going on in his head. At the lack of response, Phoenix carefully tried to pry the boy’s hand out of the iron-grip hold he had on it.
“Could you let me take a look at it?” Phoenix asked, trying to insert as much gentleness as he could in the question.
His attempt at pacifying seemingly had the opposite effect, as Sebastian’s glassy eyes turned into full-fledged tears, tiny sobs filling the kitchen.
Before the man could try to rectify the situation, a plushie depicting some kind of unidentifiable creature hit him in the side of the head.
Turning around to identify the mysterious assailant, Phoenix was met with the furious gaze of a little girl. And by the looks of her arms filled with plastic dragons and legos, he should have been glad that it was the plushie that hit him.
“Leave him alone!”
Seeing that Kay was preparing for another throw, Phoenix tried to put a stop to it.
“Wait a second-” A toy monster truck hit him square in the face.
“You made him cry! Apologise!”
Kay firmly put herself between Phoenix and her brother.
“Also, the business deal is off!”
Quietly cursing under his breath, Phoenix could only ask himself how he could have let things get out of control so quickly. He carefully watched Kay’s protective posture, fearing another hit, but his attention was quickly diverted towards Sebastian.
The boy was watching him from behind Kay, eyebrows furrowed and entire posture taut. He looked as if he was bracing himself for something. Sebastian firmly tugged on his sister’s sleeve, in what was most likely an effort to get her to back down.
When it didn’t work, the same fear from earlier returned, only tenfold, and he began to whisper hurriedly and nervously into Kay’s ear. His attempts at diplomacy only served to make Kay angrier, as the girl’s glare towards Phoenix intensified.
Phoenix let out a soft “Oh.” of understanding and then sat down in a quick motion. He made a show of placing his palms face down on the ground and turned his gaze towards the two.
Kay and Sebastian grew visibly confused, with Kay tentatively lowering her throwing arm down.
“Sebastian, if you’re okay with it, I could help you put some cool water on your hand so it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Phoenix started. “I’m not angry at you, accidents happen. I should have been watching my back better anyway.”
Sebastian fiddled with his sleeve and then muttered a quiet “It does still hurt a bit.” eyes not leaving the floor.
Phoenix smiled encouragingly and led the boy towards the sink.
“I was planning on putting ice on it,” Sebastian supplied, his usual bravado having returned.
“You should always use cool water on a burn instead of ice. The ice will only worsen it,” Phoenix advised, turning the faucet off.
“Oh. Yes, I knew that,” the boy replied unconvincingly, cheeks flushing slightly.
“It’s fine not to know the answer to everything.” Phoenix lowered his voice. “Even Edgeworth makes mistakes from time to time.”
“Mr Edgeworth making a mistake?” Sebastian asked himself aloud, the words fitting unfamiliarly in his mouth. “Really?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe it.”
Having perked up significantly, Sebastian stared into space, processing the new and invaluable piece of information. Kay, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, poked Phoenix in the side.
“Sorry for hitting you, Mr Wright. And for kicking you out of my thief organisation. Could you not tell Mr Edgeworth, please?” She added with a sheepish grin.
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Now. Do you guys want to taste the soup I made? I’m not too shabby of a cook.”
Kay threw her hands in the air.
“Taste test! Me first!”
“No! Me first! I’m the one who's incarcerated!”
The front door opened with a resounding clang, which put a stop to the only just beginning feud. Sebastian and Kay ran up to greet Edgeworth, who somehow looked even more exhausted than when he had left.
“Welcome home, Mr Edgeworth! My aim got better!”
“And I only cried once!”
“Great job, you two,” Edgeworth replied robotically. He was the embodiment of a defeated man. “I hope they didn’t cause too much trouble, Wright.”
“Of course not. They’re great kids.”
“I’m glad it was you who looked after them today. I couldn’t even hope to imagine how you manage to raise three,” Edgeworth admitted. “I often feel out of my depth. And who knows how many mistakes I’ve made along the way.”
“Don’t worry, Edgeworth, that’s how every parent feels.” Phoenix’s proud, wide grin, a contrast to his humble words.
Edgeworth nodded with a small smile. “It's comforting to hear that it’s not a failure on my part then. My worries have been dissuaded for now.”
“Mr Edgeworth,” Sebastian butted in, “how many mistakes have you made?”
“Excuse me?” Edgeworth asked incredulously.
“I bet it’s at least five hundred,” Kay joined in.
“Wright, what is the meaning of this line of inquiry?”
Phoenix held his hands up defensively. “I don’t know anything. Honest.” He then looped his arm around Edgeworth’s in order to drag him to the kitchen. “I’ve made chicken soup.”
He had also made one kid cry and the other throw objects at his head. All in all, the day was a resounding success.