Chapter 1: June, 1993.
Chapter Text
June 3rd
“Mum, please. I don’t want to spend my last summer before starting uni in the States!”
Deborah sighed, stirring the milk into her tea slowly at the dining table while Rebecca stood at the stove, waiting for the kettle to whistle. “Sausage, your father has already accepted the offer for the beach house. He’s able to spend this time away from the club and we shouldn’t take that for granted. Why can’t we take one final trip as a family before you’re off to bigger and brighter things, my dear?”
Rebecca huffed. “Because we’re not just going south to Bournemouth or Brighton for a few weeks. You’re expecting me to pack up my life for three months and fly nearly 4,000 miles across the Atlantic with you and father, when I could be here with my friends before we all leave for school this autumn.”
“Sweetheart, we’re not debating this any longer,” Deborah said sternly. “We fly out on Sunday, and we’ll return in August with enough time to get you ready and off to Cambridge, end of discussion.”
Rebecca felt the tears stinging as she blinked them back, refusing to let her mother see her cry. She turned back towards the kettle, watching the bubbles start to rise along with the temperature. They mirrored the anger and the panic rising higher in her chest, and she could taste it at the back of her throat. She swallowed hard, trying to force it back down, at least until she could return to her bedroom, where she could strip out of her pajamas and slip into the shower and let herself cry. She had felt this sort of anger towards her parents before and it was beginning to make her head spin.
When the kettle finally started to squeal throughout the kitchen, she quickly poured the hot water into the mug she had selected from the cabinet before she returned it to the stovetop and turned back towards the doorway. “Sausage, join your mother for breakfast, please.”
“I’m not hungry,” Rebecca replied immediately, forcing her feet to continue to carry her towards the stairs, her hands shaking while they carried her mug. She climbed the stairs while holding her breath, an attempt to keep the sobs at bay, when she nearly ran straight into her father at the top.
“Good morning, Rebecca,” her father greeted.
She sniffled. “Good morning.”
He looked at her curiously, studying her features before holding out a hand to try and steady her own. “Everything alright, dear?”
Rebecca brushed past him without giving her answer, stepping into her room at the end of the hall and quickly shutting the door. She managed to get the mug onto her nightstand before she spilled any, and before the tears spilled down her cheeks. Rebecca crawled back into her bed, chest heavy, sobs filling the stillness of her bedroom while her tears dampened her pillowcase. She hated her parents, had hated them for a year and a half now, and she couldn’t think of anything worse than a summer with them, away from home, from her best friend, from the life she was already planning to leave behind in September.
She had never been to the States before, and now suddenly it was her future, her summer. What would she even do for three months at the beach? She momentarily wondered how many books she could pack in her suitcase. The idea of spending nearly every day under the sun and reading a book didn’t seem so terrible. Rebecca also made a mental note to pack her stationary kit, as it would be the only way to keep in touch with Florence while she was gone. Maybe she’d even buy something new, something just for this trip.
If she was going to be forced on this trip, she might as well make it as enjoyable as possible.
Rebecca wiped at her cheeks now, her tears finally stopped, when she heard something just outside of her balcony window. The curtains were pulled shut, but she could see a shadow against the fabric. She huffed when two feet landed on the balcony floor. “Sassy,” she mumbled as the doors swung open and the curtains parted. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Florence, better known as Sassy to Rebecca, smiled and planted her hands at her hips. “I’ve come to help you pack.”
Rebecca groaned and fell back on her pillows. “How did you even know I was leaving? And why don’t you ever use the front door?”
“Because it’s more fun making sure I can still scale the side of your house, Stinky.” Rebecca rolled her eyes at the nickname. “And your mother told me yesterday you were leaving. Now, come on, no more pouting.”
Rebecca turned her head to look at her best friend, who was now pushing the curtains all the way open, letting the warming June sunshine filter in through the windows. “Why are you so bloody excited about this?”
Sassy turned around, looking directly at Rebecca with a rather determined look on her face. “Rebecca, you get to live out the Grease fantasy this summer. Meet a young, hot, beautiful American boy and fall in love and then you’ll come home and go to Cambridge and he’ll be your most memorable summer love, the kind they write books about. If you’re lucky enough, maybe you can even get a quick shag in.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes at her best friend. “Except the only problem with that is I do not look like Olivia Newton-John and I will absolutely not find someone who looks as good as John Travolta on the beach somewhere in South Carolina, wherever the fuck that is” she defended, and she hated the way the name of the state tasted coming off her tongue. “I’m certain I won’t be living out any kind of fantasy this summer.”
Sassy finally joined Rebecca on her bed, falling back to the pillows next to her. “I think you might be surprised, Stinky. I’ve got a good feeling about this.”
Rebecca turned her head on the pillow to look at her best friend’s profile. “Have you been spending too much time with my mother? You sound just like her after a visit to the psychic.”
“I am simply saying you should have faith,” Sassy replied. “If you go in with a poor attitude, you’ll have a terrible time. But if you go in with an open mind? The possibilities are endless.”
Rebecca closed her eyes and took a deep breath in before letting it go. Maybe Sassy was right, maybe she just needed a better attitude towards this situation. Maybe she could spend the entire summer exploring, taking pictures, reading books, writing in her journals. She added onto her mental note of things to buy with disposable cameras and more pens before she crawled out of her bed and retrieved her suitcase from her closet.
Maybe she could make this the best summer ever after all.
Or at the very least, a tolerable summer.
June 6th
Rebecca took one last look around her room before she made her way downstairs, suitcase rolling and carry-on over her shoulder. She turned off the light and pulled the door closed behind her before she joined her mother and father who were waiting in the foyer, their own bags at their sides. “Come along, Sausage, we’re due at the airport shortly.”
She followed her mother out the front door and down the path to the car that was waiting on them, their driver, Nathaniel, eager to load the bags into the boot. Rebecca was standing next to her mother when she heard her best friend shouting at her from the end of the drive. “Stinky!”
Rebecca smiled and walked towards Sassy, who looked like she had sprinted over, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. “Sass, you know we aren’t runners.”
She laughed. “I know that, but I couldn’t let you leave for three months without a hug.” Sassy wrapped her arms around Rebecca, and she forced herself to swallow down the tears, refusing to break anymore because of this stupid holiday.
“I love you, Sass,” Rebecca mumbled into her shoulder. “And I’m going to miss you so much.”
Sassy smiled when they pulled away, and wiped a stray tear from Rebecca’s cheek. “I love you too. Now just promise me you’ll try and have a good time, and that you’ll write to me.”
“I promise.”
“And you’ll kiss a mad fit boy under the stars.”
“Sass.”
Sassy held a hand up in protest. “Just make the promise, Stinky.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “I promise.”
“Sausage, it’s time to go,” Deborah called from beside the car and Rebecca felt the way her stomach dropped.
“It’s only three months, Stink,” Sassy reminded her. “You’ll be back in no time.”
Rebecca gave Sassy one more hug before she returned to the car, joining her mother in the backseat so they could drive to the airport. She waved at Sassy as Nathaniel drove down the driveway and out onto the main road. Rebecca watched as Sassy faded the further they drove, until she was gone entirely. She felt the anxiety rising in her chest, knew there was a chance it might suffocate her before they even made it to the airport, but she forced herself to keep it together, to keep her composure. Once they made it to South Carolina, and into the house they’d be using for the next few months, she’d spend as little time with her parents as possible. She thought maybe she could spend her time exploring on her own adventures, like she was living in her own little movie for the summer.
They were chartering her father’s jet, because that was the only way her mother agreed to travel, which meant she had a twelve hour flight ahead of her stuck in a cabin with just her parents and their hired help. She wondered if she could finish one of the many novels she had packed by the time they landed. Once their suitcases were tucked away and they were all settled into their seats, Rebecca removed her copy of The Prince of Tides from her bag and rested it in her lap, opening to page one.
And by the time they had landed in South Carolina, she had finished the book.
There was a car waiting for them when they stepped off the plane and they loaded in, her father giving the driver the address of the beach house. Rebecca had always hoped her first trip to the United States would include seeing Hollywood or maybe New York City, daydreaming of seeing someone famous on the streets or seeing a Broadway musical. She never imagined her first experience would be the beach, a summer spent dipping her toes in the Atlantic Ocean while temporarily living in a house that belonged to a family friend.
Her father had commented that the house wasn’t a long drive from the airport, only about 20 minutes, and Rebecca kept her head turned out the window, watching this new and almost strange world pass her by the longer they drove. It was weird, being on the opposite side of the road, their driver sitting in a seat that usually sat empty when Nathaniel drove them around Richmond. Rebecca knew this would most likely be the first item on a long list of things she’d have to get used to this summer.
They passed by bars, restaurants, gift shops, and more hotels than she had seen in her entire life. Everything seemed busy which she could have assumed considering the time of year they were traveling. But it still lacked appeal.
Rebecca had never really been a fish out of water before, never been the visitor, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe she could blend in, pass the time without really being seen, living in the shadows and on the sidelines.
That sounded like a good plan.
When their car finally turned down a short driveway, Rebecca pulled her attention from the world surrounding them and focused on the house in front of her. It was bigger than their home back in Richmond, a house that looked like it had enough room for three families, let alone three people. Their driver helped to unload their luggage from the car and they all made their way inside, Rebecca following behind her mother and father. Once Paul had the door unlocked, they filed in and Rebecca was completely blown away by the high ceilings, the beautiful, open kitchen, and most of all, the wall of windows that looked out onto the beach. It was a perfect day, the skies clear and blue, the sun shining down on the people that were out on the sand and in the ocean. Rebecca felt a warmth spreading through her chest as she left her bags near the long dining table and opened the door that led out onto the balcony that spanned the entire length of the house. There were wooden rocking chairs that faced the water, and she could already imagine early mornings watching the sun rise with one of her many books and a cup of tea.
When she stepped back inside, her parents were gone, but she could hear mumblings from down a narrow hallway, and she assumed they had found their room. She walked towards the sound of their voices, and they were already unpacking.
“This house is massive,” she announced and her mother smiled.
“Isn’t it wonderful? Why don’t you pick out your room Sausage, and then we can all nap before dinner?”
Rebecca shook her head. “I think I might go to the beach if that’s alright. There’s a bridge that leads from the ground level out to the sand.”
Paul nodded once. “Just make sure you’re back for dinner, please.”
Rebecca nodded right back. “I will, I promise.”
Her parents went back to emptying their suitcases and she found the staircase that led down to the ground level, pushing the door open to reveal an absolutely marvelous private pool for only them to use. There were lounge chairs surrounding it, and she couldn’t wait to lay in the sun and listen to the waves. But for now, she kept going, opening the wrought-iron gate that led to their own personal walkway, a wooden bridge that would lead them over a grassy area and onto the sand. She had worn sandals during their flight, so she slipped them off before she stepped onto the beach, letting her toes slip into the sand while the sun kissed her skin.
Maybe this summer wasn’t going to be so awful after all.
Rebecca walked further towards the ocean, the sand warm beneath her feet, and she let herself wander. The houses surrounding theirs were all shapes and sizes, all different colors and styles. They all told a story, and they all held memories that she’d never know about, but she liked the mystery. She liked wondering about who was staying in each house, what their lives were like, if they were happy.
She wondered what people thought when they saw her and her parents if they didn’t know them.
Did they think they looked like a happy family? That they spent their Sunday evenings gathered around their dining table sharing a meal and stories from their week? That they all enjoyed sitting in the owner’s box during AFC Richmond matches?
Surely no one knew how unhappy they were, how much distance was between them now, how she couldn’t wait to leave her childhood home for Cambridge to get away from the memories of that house. She would be happier at university, she was sure of that.
“Hi there.”
Rebecca was startled by a voice beside her, a soft, smooth voice that sounded almost as peaceful and calm as the waves crashing in. “Sorry,” she said and she watched the boy’s eyes light up, his mustache twitching at the ends as he smiled at her.
“That’s alright,” the stranger said. “You just looked real deep in thought, didn’t want ya to end up walkin’ into the ocean or anythin’.”
Rebecca smiled. “I appreciate that.”
His eyes sparkled again as he held out his hand to her. “I’m Ted. Ted Lasso.”
She accepted his hand in hers, and his skin was rough and calloused against her own. “Rebecca Welton.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Rebecca. You visitin’ the beach for the summer?”
Rebecca nodded. “My father has a friend who owns the bloody mansion just a few houses down from here. He offered to let us use it this summer for a family holiday.”
Ted smiled at her. “Well, howdy neighbor,” he said while he tipped an invisible cap towards her and she had to stifle a laugh. “This one right here’s where I’m stayin’. Mama and I are spendin’ the summer helpin’ my grandparents clean it up before they move and start rentin’ it out next year.”
He was pointing behind him, at a house similar in size to the one she was staying in. And sure, the house she was staying in for the summer was beautiful, but there was something so timeless about Ted’s, like it was filled to the brim with good memories and laughter and people always running around, perhaps even some children at one point. It was one of those homes where everyone always gathered, because they knew they were welcome there, a safe place to be. A home that told a story she found herself hoping she might hear one day.
“Wow,” she breathed. “Ted, it’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, Grandpa’s always makin’ sure the outside is taken care of,” he told her. “And Grandma’s doin’ the same inside. But they’re movin’ somewhere a lot smaller now which is good for ‘em.” Rebecca opened her mouth to ask another question but they were interrupted by someone shouting from Ted’s house.
“Teddy, honey, dinner’s ready!”
His cheeks flushed pink when he turned towards the house. “Thanks, mama. I’ll be right in.” His mother disappeared inside and Rebecca couldn’t help but smile at how embarrassed he seemed. “Sorry, I should probably go. But it was real nice meetin’ you, Rebecca. I hope this ain’t the last I see ya.”
She smiled. “I don’t think it will be. Goodbye, Teddy,” she joked with a wink and Ted laughed as he started up the beach and towards the house. Rebecca watched him disappear through the same door his mother had moments earlier before she headed off towards her own house again. She was starting to feel completely exhausted now and she knew her sleep schedule would be entirely messed up for a few days.
But as she thought about Ted, and that quirky accent, the silly mustache, and those calloused hands, she thought maybe, just maybe , a fucked up sleep schedule would worth it.
June 8th
Rebecca had spent the rest of her Sunday and most of Monday in the queen bed she had claimed as her own, or out on one of the wooden rockers listening to the waves roll in. She was downright tired from the jetlag and didn’t even feel bad about practically wasting her first full day of the holiday. But by Tuesday morning, she was feeling better, and after breakfast with her parents and a long, hot shower, she decided she might go on an adventure to see what she could find. Her mother had mentioned a boardwalk not too far from the house, so she thought she might start there and see where it led.
Rebecca put her bag together for her day, packing a book, her journal, one of the disposable cameras she had brought, and some sunscreen just in case. She made sure she had money and her favorite sunglasses before she was out the door, waving to her mother as she departed.
She left out the front door this time, opting to trek down real pavement instead of through the sand, an attempt to avoid having to weave through people and beach chairs and towels laid out for the day.
In her time spent in the rocking chair the day before, she found herself doing more watching than reading, and she observed the people who had taken to the beach for the day. There were people who spent hours on a towel, or in a lounge chair, their heads tilted towards the sun, their only movements coming when they needed to re-apply sunscreen or flip over. Then there were the ones who braved the ocean, which quite frankly, was not on her bucket list for the summer. Not that she had actually created a list, but if she had, swimming in the ocean would not be included. And then there were the groups who seemed to just be making their way down the sandy coast, no rhyme or reason to where they were heading. Sometimes they’d stop to take pictures, or walk out into the water just far enough for it to touch their knees. Other groups would arrive and play catch with an American football, an oddly shaped brown oval being passed back and forth.
But her favorite memory happened just after she had sat down for the morning, her cup of English Breakfast tea and her plate with two slices of toast covered in blackberry jam on the table beside her, when she noticed him. Ted, running down the beach, dressed in a white tee and some long shorts. He looked like he had headphones on, and she found herself wondering what he was listening to, what his favorite song was, and what song he absolutely despised.
Rebecca hadn’t stopped thinking about Ted since their run-in on the beach. She thought about his mustache, wondered why a teenager would choose such interesting facial hair. She thought about his accent, so slow and smooth, like the honey she often added to her tea. She wondered where he was from, almost positive it wasn’t a local accent, but she couldn’t be certain until she asked. She thought about his beautiful, deep brown eyes, the freckles that peppered his skin, the way his hand felt in hers.
She was incredibly thankful that Sassy wasn’t on this trip with her, because she’d never hear the end of this if she was around.
Rebecca climbed a tall wooden staircase and she couldn’t help but smile at the sights before her. She saw groups of people walking in and out of shops, stopping to take pictures with the beach in the background, or leaning against the wooden rails sharing ice cream with each other. It was a weird feeling, being surrounded by all of these people, and none of them knowing who she was. She hated being recognized back in Richmond, and hated hearing “Oh, you’re Paul Welton’s daughter. Tell me, how are the Greyhounds doing this season?” every time she was noticed. She wanted to be known for something that was all her own, although what that might be, she wasn’t exactly sure. She was hoping maybe she’d find her calling at Cambridge.
She started to make her way down the boardwalk now, curious to see what it had to offer. There were plenty of little gift shops, ones she made note to stop into at some point to see if they sold postcards, and to find a cheeky little gift to bring back to Sassy. She passed by a bar that seemed to be offering live music, a steady stream of people filtering in and out of the front door. There was a bookstore, an ice cream shop, a rather tiny post office, a candy shop, a diner that looked like it had been built in the 1950’s, another ice cream shop, a tattoo parlor, a flower shop, a surf shop, a few more gift shops and finally, a sweets shop.
A sweets shop that Ted was walking out of as she passed by, a little red plastic bag in his hand.
“Hi.”
“Rebecca.”
Rebecca blushed at the way her name sounded coming from him. “Ted.”
Ted held up the bag in his hand, answering a question she hadn’t even asked. “Gettin’ some candies for my grandpa, he likes to pretend he only enjoys ‘em every few days, but we know he eats ‘em every night, so we keep his stash filled up.”
Rebecca laughed and pushed her sunglasses up into her hair so she could see him better. “That’s very sweet. My grandfather used to bake homemade biscuits for my grandmother every Sunday and Thursday so she had them all week to enjoy with her morning tea. I guess when he first started giving them to her, it was right after they had started dating, and she was convinced he was just buying them from a local shop, but eventually he admitted he was baking them himself. He made her those biscuits for nearly 70 years.”
Ted was staring at her now, and there was a look on his face she couldn’t quite decipher. But she really wanted to know what it meant. “Your grandparents sound like pretty neat people,” he told her.
“They were, they were incredible,” she replied softly. “I almost wish my own parents had taken after them.”
She recognized the look on his face now as sadness. “Rebecca, I’m sorry.”
Rebecca waved him off. “Don’t be, really. It’s honestly why I can’t wait to move away for school this autumn.” She hadn’t realized they had started walking until her nose was filled with the smells of greasy food as they passed by the 50’s diner again. “It’s also why I plan to spend as little time with them as possible on this trip.”
“Where are ya plannin’ to go to school?” he asked, obviously trying to change subjects, which she appreciated.
“I’ll be going to Cambridge back in England,” she answered. “I’ll be entering into the education program, hopefully with a focus in English.”
Ted’s eyes sparkled when he looked over at her. “You wanna be a teacher?”
Rebecca smiled and nodded her head. “I’d like to be. My father wants me to follow in his footsteps, but I don’t know that owning a football club is the right path for me.”
Now his eyes lit up, just like they had the night they met when she first spoke. “Hold on, your dad owns a football club? Wait, we’re not talkin’ American Football here, are we?”
Rebecca giggled as they continued to walk. “English, the one you actually play with your feet and not your hands.” Ted frowned. “AFC Richmond has been in the family for quite some time, and since my parents never had a son, my father’s under the impression I’ll take over when he retires. It’s important to him to keep it in the family.”
“Not sure that’s really somethin’ a teenager should have to worry about,'' Ted said. “Seems like maybe that can wait a couple of years. Unless your dad’s plannin’ to retire soon.”
She shook her head. “God no. If he retired, he’d have to spend more time with my mother, and I don’t think either of them would enjoy that. But while celebrating my eighteenth birthday last month, he made it quite clear the job was mine when the time was right.” Rebecca stopped walking now, her attention grabbed by the small display of sunflower bouquets that sat outside of the flower shop.
“You like sunflowers, Rebecca?”
Rebecca smiled and took one of the petals between her fingers. “I do. My mother used to take me to the sunflower fields near our home when I was younger, usually when my father was away on business or in the office on a weekend. We’d run through the stalks like they were a maze and then we’d have a picnic together at the top of the hill that overlooked the field. She probably has hundreds of pictures of me peeking my head out from behind some tall stems, a ridiculous grin on my face.”
Ted smiled back at her. “Back in Kansas, where I’m from, mama and I actually live on a sunflower farm. She likes to cut down the fully grown ones and make ‘em into bouquets that a friend of hers sells at the market in town. We usually stay pretty busy all summer gettin’ the flowers put together.”
“Do you have someone taking care of them while you’re here?” she asked and Ted nodded.
“Yeah, one of mama’s good friends,” Ted explained. “She’s usually helpin’ us with the flowers anyways, so she volunteered.”
They started walking again, joining the crowd of people as they all made their way down the boardwalk, and Rebecca enjoyed how easy it was to talk to Ted. He was so different from the boys she knew back home, the ones who usually always mentioned her father’s profession mere seconds after asking her out. They cared more about football than they did about her, but Ted only seemed interested in her, at least right now.
Maybe that would change, but she certainly didn’t think it would.
It was comfortable walking with him, comfortable sharing things with him, and she was almost in disbelief at how quickly she had found someone to spend time with this summer.
And then something crossed her mind.
“Ted, how long will you be in town?”
Ted peeked over at her. “Ah, I think until September. I’m not startin’ at Wichita State until January, so I think mama wanted to stay through Labor Day.” She let out a sigh of relief, one she didn’t even know she was holding in and Ted smiled at her. “Worried I might leave ya alone too soon?”
She laughed. “Yes, actually, I’m quite enjoying your company already.” Rebecca sighed again. “I was honestly dreading this trip from the moment my mother mentioned it. I had so many plans for my final summer at home, so many things I wanted to do with my friends before we all left for school, and then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.”
Rebecca was quiet for a moment, thinking not about her summer holiday, but instead the 13th of September, in 1991, how everything changed in the blink of an eye that day too. She noticed Ted was quiet alongside her, a somber look on his face, and she wondered if he could relate. But as quickly as his demeanor changed, he seemed to snap out of it, and he was smiling at her once more. “Well, I can’t promise you’ll have as much fun with me as you woulda had with your friends back home,” he said. “But I can certainly try to make it memorable.”
She wanted to tell him he was already doing just that, but she stayed quiet.
“So tell me, Rebecca, is there anythin’ you absolutely wanted to do this summer?” he asked now. “A number one thing you desperately wanted to accomplish before you started at Cambridge?”
It seemed silly, the answer that sat on the tip of her tongue, because no matter how comfortable she might have felt with Ted already, she wasn’t quite sure she could tell him she wanted to fall in love this summer. Because it wasn’t even about looking for summer love, it was about her searching for the love she could feel for herself, for her life, and she just didn’t know how to find that, how to accomplish that goal.
So instead she came up with something that seemed easy enough.
“I want to sleep under the stars,” she admitted quietly, and although it wasn’t her top choice, it did still sound fun, being surrounded by a sky full of stars and the sounds of the night.
Ted smiled at her and nodded. “We’ll find the perfect night and sleep under the stars. Maybe we can even start ourselves a little bonfire to stay warm too, and get some supplies for s’mores.”
Rebecca cocked an eyebrow in his direction. “What the hell is a s’more?”
Ted’s mouth hung open. “Rebecca, are you tellin’ me you’ve never enjoyed a s’more?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t even know what it is!”
Ted was shaking his head while he explained. “It’s like, a rite of passage in the summertime. First, you gotta roast a marshmallow, and honestly, the darker the better in my opinion, but everyone’s a little bit different. Then once your mallow is toasted, you gotta sandwich it between your two graham crackers, and there’s always some chocolate in there too. Wait, have you seen The Sandlot? ”
“The what?”
He buried his head in his hands, a deep groan leaving his chest and she couldn’t help but smile. “Alright, that’s it. You and me, we’re havin’ a movie night, and then we’re havin’ s’mores.”
She bit back a smile when he lifted his head and looked at her. “Sounds terrible,” she joked, and she watched the smile bloom on his face, his eyes softening as he continued to look at her.
“You’re gonna be trouble,” he said quietly.
They walked in a comfortable silence to the end of the boardwalk, the same stairs she had climbed earlier. They stopped against the wooden railing now, leaned on opposite elbows as they faced one another. “Becca. Is it alright if I call you Becca?” She nodded, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. “Becca, would you like to have breakfast with me this week?”
Rebecca felt butterflies taking flight in her chest, and it felt like a million wings all flapping at the same time, desperate to break free. “I’d love to,” she answered.
“Friday, maybe 8 in the mornin’?” he asked. “We can meet here if that works for ya, thought maybe we could go to Mammy’s, down by the candy shop.”
Rebecca nodded over and over. “That sounds perfect, Ted.”
He smiled at her once more, and she thought she might be getting a little addicted to the way his smile made her feel. “Alright, well I gotta get back to the house, mama’s waitin’ on me to get some paintin’ done. But I’ll see you Friday then?”
She nodded again. “Friday, I’ll be here.”
“Have a good day, Becca,” he told her as he started down the stairs and she turned to watch him weave into the crowd moving towards the bottom, watching as he reached the pavement now, turning back towards the direction of their houses. And as she watched him finally disappear, too far away for her to see anymore, she sighed and leaned back against the railing.
She was in trouble.
June 11th
“Bye, I’ll be back later!”
Rebecca had her hand wrapped around the doorknob when her father’s voice boomed through the hallway. “Rebecca.” She froze, her eyes snapping closed while she took in a deep breath before she turned around to face him.
“Yes?”
Paul was staring at her from down the hall, his one hand wrapped around a white coffee mug, the other rested on the countertop beside him. She could see her mother watching him from the opposite side of the dark granite, preparing her morning cup of tea. “You know at some point you will need to spend time with your mother and I.”
Rebecca nodded. “I just thought I might go explore this morning, since you and mum have your own plans today. I promise to stay out of trouble.”
“Fine. But we’ll be having a family dinner tonight, so you’re expected to be there.”
Rebecca nodded again. “I will.”
Paul stepped forward now, his free hand moving from the countertop to slip into his front pocket. He placed his mug down on the decorative table that stood in the hallway, holding various vases and frames, and pulled his wallet out. He offered Rebecca a few bills, with a gentle smile on his face. “Don’t spend it all in one place, my dear.”
Rebecca accepted the money and gave Paul a quick kiss on the cheek before she disappeared out the front door and down the driveway, taking the sidewalk quickly towards the boardwalk. She climbed the stairs slower than she had wanted to, stuck behind a family of three, their tiny little girl taking the steps one very small step at a time, her parents both beaming at her as they stepped with her. She wondered if that’s what she looked like with her own parents when she was younger, if her parents were happier when she was that age. She shook her head quickly in an effort to erase the thoughts from her mind promptly. It didn’t matter if they were happy back then, because they certainly weren’t happy now.
When she finally reached the top, she felt breathless when she spotted Ted, standing in nearly the exact same spot they had said goodbye three days earlier. She hadn’t spoken to Ted since that morning, but she had seen him. Every morning, in fact, from her spot on the balcony. She had thought maybe the first time she saw him was just a fluke, maybe it was just a way for him to blow off some steam or clear his head.
But then she saw him again Wednesday morning, and then Thursday too.
It was Thursday when she was caught red-handed.
“Sausage, you seem awfully focused on the beach this morning.”
Rebecca’s cheeks burned hot when her mother’s voice filled her ears. She hadn’t even heard the door to the balcony open, hadn’t heard her mother set down her own teacup on the table beside her. Because the truth was, she had been focused. Or rather, distracted. Ted wasn’t just on the beach again this morning running, but working out in the sand now. It was a regimen that seemed familiar too, exercises she had seen the AFC Richmond team do hundreds of times, and ones she had even done when she was playing football herself.
She had dodged her mother’s comments and the tone in her voice, the teasing lilt in her words. Instead she asked her if she had any plans for the day, and thankfully the topic of Ted had washed away with the morning tide.
Rebecca approached Ted now, taking in his outfit as she got closer. He was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts, a navy blue tee with some sort of logo on it, and a baseball cap turned backwards covering his hair.
Jesus Christ.
His face lit up when he noticed Rebecca approaching, and she felt those butterflies deep in her chest again. “G’mornin’, Becca.”
She smiled and felt her cheeks warm at the way he was looking at her. “Good morning, Ted. I’m sorry I’m a little late.”
“Oh, no apologies necessary. I was just takin’ in the views,” he told her. “You ready?”
Rebecca nodded and they started off down the boardwalk, passing all of the same places they did earlier in the week. She had spent the rest of Tuesday after Ted left weaving in and out of the little shops on either side, even stopping in the same sweets shop she had found him leaving to look around, and she left with way more than she needed. That night she stayed up far too late writing her first letter to Sassy and eating an entire bag of Skittles while she did. The next day she had returned to the boardwalk to leave the letter at the post office and returned to the sweets shop to take some homemade fudge back for her parents, along with replacing her already-eaten bag of Skittles.
She felt completely fascinated by the boardwalk already, the way people seemed to flock to these shops and restaurants while on their own vacations. It seemed like it was always busy too, crowds filling nearly every inch of the wooden walkway no matter the time of day. But best of all, everyone was a stranger, and for reasons she couldn’t pinpoint, she loved that. She loved not knowing anything about these people that surrounded her as much as she loved that none of them knew anything about her.
Except for Ted.
“So, how’s your first week at the beach been?”
Rebecca smiled. “Honestly, quite relaxing so far. I think maybe I’m still dealing with a bit of jetlag, so I’ve just been relaxing at the house. I sent my first letter off to my best friend as well, because she made me promise I’d keep her updated on my summer away.”
“Did you happen to mention the funny kid with a mustache and an accent that you met on the beach?” he asked.
“As a matter of fact, I did,” she replied. “And I know you’ll be the first thing she asks about when I get home in August.”
Ted laughed. “Well, hopefully you’ll have some fun stories to tell her when you get back.”
Rebecca already knew she would.
They arrived at Mammy’s and it was quite busy, nearly every table filled with people enjoying their breakfast with a view. They were taken to an empty booth near the back, and she slid against the polyester seat, Ted doing the same across from her. They were given menus by the hostess and left to browse while they waited on their waiter. She looked over the menu carefully, trying to decide what sounded the best this morning. She was having an internal debate of whether she wanted pancakes or waffles when the waiter approached to take their orders.
Ted gestured for her to go first and she felt her cheeks flush. “May I have the blueberry pancakes and sausage please? And an iced coffee with an obnoxious amount of caramel?”
The waiter nodded and turned towards Ted. “I’ll have what she’s having, thank you sir.” Rebecca felt the smile spread across her face at the reference. Their waiter removed the menus from the table and stepped away and she looked at Ted again, who was already looking at her, smiling. “So, what’s on your agenda for the weekend? Anythin’ excitin’ planned?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Dinner with my parents tonight, but otherwise nothing. I’ve honestly considered spending all of tomorrow by the pool with a book.”
“Readin’ anythin’ good?” Ted asked as their waiter slid two iced coffees across the tables.
Rebecca stuck her straw into the liquid and took a long sip before she answered him. “Well, I read The Prince of Tides on the flight over, and I’ve just started The Virgin Suicides yesterday.”
Ted’s eyes grew wide, as if she had grown a second head. “Wait, you’re tellin’ me you read the entirety of The Prince of Tides on your flight? Isn’t that book almost 600 pages?”
Rebecca shrugged. “I’m a fast reader.”
Ted smiled. “What’s your favorite book?”
“ A Wrinkle in Time ,” she answered quickly. “I’ve read it so many times but it’s still so interesting to me. Usually if I’m having a bad day, I’ll just start reading it and a few hours later, it feels like I’m in a brand new universe.”
“I’m not sure if I ever read that one,” Ted replied.
She smiled and took another sip of her coffee. “What’s your favorite book?”
Ted took his own sip of coffee before he answered. “Ah, The Outsiders. It was required readin’ goin’ into my sophomore year of high school, and it resonated a lot more than I thought it would.”
“I’ll have to add that one to my list,” she replied.
Ted rested his forearms on the table now, leaning forward just a bit, and Rebecca noticed the freckles that peppered his cheeks again. His skin looked like it had been kissed by the sun, and she wondered how long Ted had already been at the beach this summer, if he was spending almost every morning working out and running in the sand. “I’ve got somethin’ I wanna ask ya,” he said and she nodded. She was certain she’d agree to whatever came out of his mouth right now. “So, I’ve got this list, and I guess it’s sorta like a bucket list, but just for the summer. It’s full of things I wanna do before we leave to head back to Kansas and while a lot of it can be done solo, I’m not too sure it will be as fun that way.” He paused, and she gave him a moment to continue if he wanted. “It was actually a list that belonged to my dad, we found it while we were cleanin’ out some boxes in the attic. Grandma said it was a list of things he made to do before he went off to college in Kansas, which is where he met Mama. And while most of the things he’s got written down are things I’ve already done before, I thought maybe we could do ‘em together.”
His voice trailed off at the end, like he was embarrassed he even suggested this to her. But she felt the way her lips curled into a smile, the way her heart started to beat faster the more she thought about spending her entire summer with Ted. Rebecca had dated in school, had hung out with boys her age from the end of year 7 until now, in large thanks to Sassy and her desperate need to always find something (or more recently, someone ) to do. But she was confident in saying no one had ever made her feel the way Ted was making her feel, and certainly not after just a couple of days.
“Tell me about this list,” she prompted, and she watched the way he let out a breath, hopefully of relief, before he pulled his wallet from his pocket and removed a small folded piece of paper.
“See for yourself,” he told her and slid the paper across the table.
Rebecca unfolded it, careful not to rip the already fragile piece of paper in her hands. The list wasn’t entirely long, but every item on it had a little check mark beside it, along with a date, presumably the date Ted’s father completed each goal.
Myrtle Beach Bucket List
- Ice cream from Mae’s (try the Rocky Road)
- Mini-golf (pick a themed course)
- Brookgreen Gardens
- Lowcountry Zoo
- Line dancing at The Bowery
- 4th of July Fireworks
- Take a ride on the Ferris Wheel (and hope you get stopped at the top)
- Go bowling (and use the wrong hand)
- Go horseback riding on the beach
- Go kayaking
- Drive some go-karts
- Explore Myrtle Beach State Park
- Find some live music on the pier
- Watch a sunrise from the roof of the house
“Well, you’ll have to explain to me what some of these mean, but I’m in,” she told him as she folded the paper in its same creases and handed it back over.
Ted smiled and accepted it, returning it to his wallet. “Thought maybe we could add ‘sleep under the stars’ and ‘make Rebecca try a s’more’ to the list, too,” he said. “We can make our own changes.”
Rebecca laughed at his suggestions as their waiter delivered their plates of food, and she felt her mouth start to water when she saw the pancakes on her plate. “I promise I will try a s’more this summer,” she told him. “But in exchange for that, you’ll have to try something for me.”
The hand that was holding the knife smoothing butter over his top pancake came to a halt and his eyes met hers. “What’s that?”
She smiled. “You have to try a cup of tea, a proper cup.”
His eyebrow lifted at the edge. “How’d you know I don’t like hot tea?”
Rebecca shrugged her shoulders and added some syrup to her breakfast, making sure to cover the sausage as well. “I just had a hunch.”
Ted smiled and continued to prepare his breakfast before he wiped his hand clean and held it out over the table. “Fine, I agree to that.” She accepted his hand in her own and they shook on it, making a deal between the two of them. They ate their pancakes in between exchanging stories, making small talk while enjoying each other’s company. She laughed as he told stories about his childhood, and he listened intently as she told him about her friendship with Sassy. As they finished their meals, the waiter came by with a check and Ted immediately reached for it, despite Rebecca’s protest.
“Now, hey, it was my idea we come here, it’s only fair I pay.”
Rebecca frowned. “I could have paid for myself, Ted.”
Ted just smiled at her and pulled his wallet out again. “Okay, well, how ‘bout you pay for the next breakfast date?”
She felt the way her stomach flipped at the idea of this being a date, despite knowing he probably meant it in a friendly way. They were just two teenagers looking to make the most of their final summer before university started. It was nothing more than that. “Fine,” she agreed.
“You ready to head out?” She nodded and followed him to the front door, standing beside him while he paid at the cash register. The older woman behind the counter seemed to keep shifting her glance from him to her and back again, and the soft smile on her face made Rebecca wonder what she saw in their faces. Once he had his receipt in hand, Ted held the door open for Rebecca to pass through first, and then followed behind her out onto the boardwalk once more, the volume of people increased from when they arrived about an hour ago. “Walk back with me?” he asked, and once again, Rebecca was certain she would always say yes no matter what he was asking.
They walked in silence beside one another, and every time his hand brushed against hers, she felt electricity shoot through her from head to toe. There was an urge deep within her to just link her hand with his, even just a pinky curled around one of his own, but she shoved that thought back wherever it had come from. Instead, she tried to fill the silence. “So, when do we get started on your list?”
Ted peeked over at her and smiled before focusing on the path in front of them. “I’ve promised my weekend to Mama but are you free Monday? We could start then.”
Rebecca nodded. “Monday sounds perfect. Should we just follow the list in the order it’s written?”
“Heck yeah,” he answered. “I’m assumin’ he wrote it that way for a reason. He always had a reason behind whatever he was doin’.” His voice faded at the end of his sentence, and she wondered what it meant, but she let it go.
“So ice cream then?” she asked. “Rocky Road is one of my favorite flavors ever, so I can’t wait to try it.”
Ted smiled at her again. “I can already tell ya you’re gonna love it. Mae’s got the best ice cream on the whole beach in my honest opinion.” He let her take the steps down towards the sand first, following close behind her, assuming his position beside her again once they were on (almost) solid ground. They followed the path that led back towards their houses, their hands brushing together once more as they walked. It was quiet again, and Rebecca found herself enjoying it more and more, the comfort that she felt with him doing something as simple as walking together. She had never felt so safe with someone after knowing them for such a short time, not even Sassy.
But there was something about Ted that was just different in the best way.
As they got closer to the driveway that led up to the beach house she was staying in, she felt sadness wash over her. She knew she’d see him again, knew she couldn’t spend every minute of every day with him, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to. They stopped at the edge of the pavement, and Rebecca smiled when her eyes caught on Ted’s. “Thank you again for breakfast,” she said quietly, and she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.
Before she knew what was happening, Ted was leaning in and his lips were pressed to her cheek, a quick kiss that was over before she even processed it. “”I’ll meetcha here on Monday, at noon,” he told her before she started towards his own house. “Have a good weekend, Rebecca,” he called back.
“You too, Ted!” she replied and watched him disappear down the driveway four houses down. Rebecca turned to enter her own house now, closing the door behind her and immediately letting her fingertips linger on the spot of her cheek Ted had kissed. She felt giddy, and there was a nervous laughter bubbling in her chest as she padded down the hallway, her bare feet against the cool floor. She made her way to the stairwell, taking the flight up to the top floor where her room was, and flopped back onto her mattress, her hair splayed out across the duvet. She finally let the laughter spill over, her giggle filling the room as she closed her eyes, letting the memories of the morning, and the last week, flood her mind.
June 14th
Her weekend was boring and uneventful, and if she was being honest, she preferred it that way. She spent most of her time either on the balcony with her book (and waiting to see Ted while he worked out) or she was poolside soaking up the sun. She had dinner with her parents Friday night, just as her father had requested, but then they had decided to spend their Saturday touring wineries and then Sunday riding horses, so Rebecca was left alone. She wished she could call Sassy, or hang out with Ted, but she actually found herself enjoying her independence. She wondered if this was how it would feel to be away at school.
But by Monday morning, she was itching for some contact with another human, and she was practically counting down the seconds until Ted would appear at the end of their driveway. Rebecca enjoyed breakfast with her mother on the balcony, her cheeks warming at the sight of Ted doing sprints in the sand, and then returned to her room for a shower before she got ready.
She stood at the foot of her bed, her hair and her body wrapped in plush white towels from the bathroom, and stared at the outfit ideas she had laid out on top of the duvet when she woke up. They were both simple outfits: an old worn out Def Leppard tee she had stolen from Sassy to wear beneath a pair of denim overalls with her favorite sandals or a black babydoll dress paired with her white high top Chuck Taylors. She put on the tee and overalls combination first, examining herself in the floor-length mirror. It was cute and casual, and frankly probably perfect for an afternoon enjoying ice cream with a beautiful boy. She opted for the high tops instead of sandals, and let her long wavy hair settle over her shoulder.
When she checked her reflection once more, a few minutes before Ted was supposed to arrive, she felt her stomach flip. They were good nerves, at least she hoped they were, and she wondered why she had never felt this nervous before going out with any of the boys back home.
Then again, none of them compared to Ted in her mind.
The bright red numbers on the alarm clock on the nightstand read 11:55 so Rebecca reached for her bag and took the stairs down to the main level that would lead her out to the driveway. It was the warmest day they’d had since they arrived in town, and she was really looking forward to eating a few scoops of ice cream.
Rebecca stood there for only a minute before Ted appeared, and she didn’t even feel a little ashamed at the way she stared at him. His outfit was similar to the one she had seen him in last when they met for breakfast, so maybe it was knowing he had kissed her cheek when they departed (no, she had not stopped thinking about the way his lips felt against her skin) or maybe it was the excitement of knowing she’d be spending her time on holiday with him, but regardless of what it was, she felt like she was bubbling over with excitement.
And, if she was being completely honest, Ted was probably the most attractive boy she had ever seen in her life.
He was wearing a black shirt with what looked like a cartoon bumble bee on it, and she wondered if it was another logo of some sort. He wore khaki shorts again and his feet were adorned with some fancy trainers, the same ones she heard the boys in her classes swoon over constantly. He had forgone the hat this time, instead his hair was free and loose, like he had just let it air dry after a shower.
Rebecca flexed her fingers at her side with an overwhelming urge to run them through his hair. Especially the tendril that seemed to be bouncing against his forehead while he walked.
Ted pushed that same tendril back as he approached her finally, a wide smile on his face. “Hey, Becca,” he greeted.
“Hi, Ted,” she replied softly. “How was your weekend?”
He released a slow whistle while he shook his head back and forth. “You ever have to paint a vaulted ceiling?” Rebecca giggled and shook her head at him. “Well it ain’t fun, mostly because I got a fear of ladders.”
Ted started off towards the boardwalk again and Rebecca fell into step beside him quickly. “Is that a real thing, fear of ladders?”
He nodded. “I think it’s somethin’ they incorporate with a fear of heights, but see, I’m not afraid of heights. I’ve been on a ferris wheel plenty of times and I’ve even been to the top of the Washington Monument. But ladders, they’re freaky.”
She smiled. “It’s because they’re not rooted in the ground, they’re not really stable enough.”
Their hands brushed together just like they had on Friday and before she could think twice, she slipped her fingers into the empty space between his. Ted’s head turned quickly, and their eyes locked as they walked beside each other. “Is this okay?” she asked quietly.
Ted nodded and smiled. “It’s more than okay,” he whispered back at her, and they walked hand in hand to the boardwalk, up the stairs, and down to Mae’s, which had a line that wound out the front door. They stood behind a group of kids who appeared to be a few years younger than them, excitedly chatting about their plans for the day. “How was your weekend?” Ted asked now as they waited in line.
“It was rather lovely, actually,” Rebecca told him. “My parents spent most of the weekend together visiting some wineries and some horse stables, so I was completely alone and it was wonderful.”
Ted grinned at her. “Did you finish another book?”
She let out a short laugh. “I did, actually. I spend nearly every morning enjoying breakfast out on our balcony and it’s a good time to read. Plus the views from up there are spectacular.”
“Oh yeah? What can you see from there?”
And it was a tiny glimmer in his eyes, and the way his lips curled up so slightly, that she knew he knew.
She smacked his chest playfully and he let out a cheerful laugh when she did. “You knew I could see you!”
He nodded and rubbed at the spot where she hit him. “Yeah, I saw ya the first morning. It was kinda nice when you kept comin’ back. It’s like my own personal little support system.”
Rebecca was momentarily distracted by the way it felt while Ted’s thumb brushed back and forth over her skin. “So what are you training for?”
“Ah, nothin’ really, at least not anymore. I played football in high school, but I decided not to pursue it in college. With me not startin’ school until the spring semester, there wasn’t really a chance for me to make the team,” Ted explained. “But old habits die hard, I guess, and it’s kinda fun workin’ out with a backdrop like the beach, y’know?”
She smiled at him. “Ted, can I make a suggestion to add to the list?” He nodded enthusiastically. “Will you teach me how to throw a football?”
“Oh heck yeah,” he replied. “You just say the word and we’ll get down to the beach.”
They shuffled forward with the rest of the line, slowly crossing the threshold into the very cold ice cream parlor and Rebecca loved the atmosphere. It was so similar to the feel of the diner, like it was permanently stuck in the 50’s. The colors were so bright and vibrant, greens and blues and pinks on nearly every inch of the small shop. The playlist complimented the aesthetic, the music transitioning from Elvis Presley to Patsy Cline to Johnny Cash and beyond. The room was filled with the softness of “Walkin’ After Midnight” and the excited chatter of the beachgoers who were just looking for a little relief from the warm temperatures. There was an old jukebox in the corner, which seemed to be more for decoration than actual use, as the speakers in the ceiling were responsible for the soundtrack of her afternoon.
“Can I ask a question?”
“Sure thing, jelly bean.”
His response pulled a giggle from her lips. “What made you decide to wait until next year to start college?”
Ted scratched at the back of his neck before he answered. “I, uh, well it’s a long story but basically I missed the application window for the schools. There were some things happenin’ at home and I sorta pushed everything aside to focus on that. By the time I got around to finally sendin’ in those applications, it was made pretty clear I wouldn’t be admitted until the second semester, and I figured somethin’ was better than nothin’. But I guess it all worked out because it gave me the time to come here with Mama and help with the house.” He paused. “And I met you.”
Rebecca felt her stomach flip, her cheeks flush, her head float into the clouds. She thought that if any other boy she had ever spent time with said something to that effect, she’d just consider it a line. But there was something so incredibly genuine about the way Ted spoke, she had no choice but to believe him. She wondered, momentarily, if that’s just how he was raised, if his mother and father radiated that same kindness and positivity when they spoke.
She was curious about his father and the way he spoke about him. It didn’t seem like he was on this trip with them, but she couldn’t quite grasp their relationship, aside from this list they would spend the next few months working through. The list he had found in his grandparents’ house, which must have meant that these were his father’s parents. So was his father here too?
“Earth to Becca?”
She blinked quickly and focused on his face again. “Sorry, Ted. I was lost in my thoughts.”
Ted smiled at her and they stepped even closer to the front now, the group of teens now the only ones standing between them and the ice cream. “That’s alright, I get like that sometimes. What’s on your mind, if you don’t mind me askin’?”
It wasn’t the right time to ask about his father, and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why she felt that way, other than it was just a feeling deep in her gut. “I was thinking about how kind you are,” she admitted quietly. He blushed and looked away quickly and she took that moment to join hands again, unsure of exactly when they had let go in the first place. She squeezed his hand in her own. “I mean it, Ted. It’s so rare to find someone who seems to care the way you do, especially at our age. The boys I know back home? They only seem to care about one bloody thing: sex.”
Ted gave her a soft smile and squeezed her hand back. “Well, I appreciate you sayin’ that. I guess I live in that mindset where you don’t really know what someone else is goin’ through, so if I can just offer ‘em a little bit of kindness, maybe it’ll make ‘em smile, y’know?”
Rebecca nodded and smiled at him. “I like that perspective.”
“Theodore Lasso,” their conversation was interrupted by the voice of an older woman who stood behind the ice cream bays. “I was wondering when I’d see you again.”
They both stepped up to the glass displays now, and Rebecca felt her mouth watering over the different flavor options. “Hiya, Mae. Mama and I have been meanin’ to get over here, but we’ve been pretty busy with the house.”
The older woman, Mae, frowned as she reached for a metal scoop. “I hate that Pat and Mary won’t be around anymore.”
“Yeah, they’re not lookin’ forward to the move,” he explained. “But I think they’ll still be back to see ya. You know grandpa can’t live without his Rocky Road in a sugar cone.”
And then Mae’s gaze shifted to Rebecca. “And who’s this, sweetheart?”
“Mae, this is Rebecca. Rebecca, this is Mae. She owns the parlor.”
Rebecca smiled softly at the older woman and nodded. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Mae’s face lit up at Rebecca’s voice, much like Ted’s had on that first day at the beach. “Oh honey, your accent is just beautiful. What brings you to this side of the pond?”
“A family holiday before I’m off to university,” she told Mae. “A friend of my father owns a house on the beach and he offered it for the summer.”
Mae raised an eyebrow as she looked back over at Ted. “Well, make sure Theodore gives you the full tour of this town. It might be full of tourists, but it’s quite a fun little place to spend your time.”
Rebecca smiled. “I will, thank you.”
“Now what can I get you kids? It’s on the house today.”
They both ordered two scoops of Rocky Road in a waffle cone and, despite multiple protests from them both, Mae refused to let them pay. But Rebecca was able to sneak one of the bills her father had given her last week into the extravagantly decorated tip jar at the edge of the counter. They both waved goodbye and then Rebecca followed Ted out the door and onto the boardwalk once more, where they found a place against the railing to stand and enjoy their sweet treat.
Ted was right when he said Mae’s had good ice cream, and she was fairly certain it was the best she had ever had. The chocolate ice cream was smooth and rich, and the ratio of almonds and marshmallows to ice cream seemed to be perfect. She was curious to know how long it took to master the perfect recipe for something like this.
“So, whaddya think?”
Rebecca smiled at him over the top scoop piled on her cone. “It’s fucking delicious.”
Ted laughed and took a large bite from the side. “Yeah, you’ve gotta try the mint chocolate chip too. Oh, and the butter pecan. She’s also got a strawberry ice cream for the summer, and it’s got chunks of fresh strawberry in nearly every bite.”
“Are you suggesting we’ll have to come back?” She asked with a smirk.
“The idea had crossed my mind, yeah,” he admitted with a smirk of his own. There was a smear of chocolate across his bottom lip and she fought the urge to wipe it away with her thumb.
Or her lips.
“I suppose that wouldn’t be a terrible thing,” she said softly and swiped her tongue across the ice cream again.
They were both facing the water now, their elbows rested on the edge of the railing while they quietly ate their ice cream. The coldness of the cone was a nice contrast to the heat of the sun beating down on them the longer they stood there. She was still getting used to the heat, and, truth be told, the easy access to air conditioning, but she found herself enjoying the time she could spend in the hot sunshine, followed by the time in their private pool or laying out on her bed with the ceiling fan overhead.
“So I was thinkin’ about somethin’ and I wanna see how you feel about it.”
Rebecca felt her stomach drop when she turned to face Ted, who had taken a bite out of his cone. “Okay,” she said hesitantly.
Ted smiled at her, and it eased her fear just a bit. “I was wonderin’ if it might be okay to kiss you?” His voice was soft, slow, steady, and it made her nervous. “I know we’re only here for the summer, and we’ve only known each other for like a week but-”
“Ted.”
“Yeah?”
She felt the flames in her cheeks. “That would be okay,” she whispered.
The world seemed to move in slow motion once she agreed. Their bodies turned almost in unison, now facing each other instead of facing the ocean. She was nervous, and he was too, she could tell by the way he fidgeted, like he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, or how much closer he should get. She kept looking at his lips and then back into his eyes, and each time he caught her, the smile on his lips grew in size.
Rebecca had kissed boys before, intentional kisses with a boy she was dating or playful kisses during a game of ‘Spin the Bottle’ with her friends. They were perfectly fine kisses with perfectly exceptional boys.
But nothing could have prepared her for how remarkable it felt to kiss Ted.
When his lips touched hers, it was simple, it was sweet, and she could tell he was hesitant. It was nothing extravagant, and yet, her mind wondered if this was what love songs were written about. If this feeling she had from one single innocent kiss with this boy she had just met who was from an entirely different country than she was could ever inspire words like that. When she felt Ted smile against her lips, she knew it could.
It was over quickly, almost too quickly for her liking, but she kept her disappointment hidden.
At least she tried to.
God, she hoped she could kiss him again soon.
“Was it that bad?” Ted asked suddenly, and Rebecca had to blink a few times to pull herself back to reality. “You’re frowning.”
Rebecca slapped her hand over her mouth. Well, that’s horrifying. “Fuck, Ted, no. Oh my god. It wasn’t bad. I swear.”
Ted smiled at her. “No?”
“God no,” she breathed. “That was,” she hesitated, looking for the right words, unsure if they’d even come to her. “You’re an excellent kisser, Ted.” Just shut up, Rebecca. “I liked it,” she whispered, and she was sure her face would burst into flames any second now.
It was his turn to flick his eyes down towards her lips before he looked back up. “So if I wanted to do it again?”
“I would say absolutely, yes please,” she replied with a giggle.
And his lips were on hers once more, less hesitant but more eager this time. He tasted like chocolate, and coffee, and there was a hint of peppermint on his tongue when he slid it across the seam of her lips. She was mesmerized by everything in this moment: the taste of him and the way they fit together, the way his hand came to rest against her hip, like he didn’t want to let her go.
She was certain she had never been kissed like this before, and she wasn’t sure she ever would be after Ted. But she didn’t want to think about what came after Ted.
Rebecca just wanted to think about right now with Ted.
Everything else could wait.
June 17th
“Zoo animals or dinosaurs?”
Rebecca closed the door to the passenger side, the wrong side, she thought, of Ted’s truck and gave him a confused look. “I’m sorry?”
Ted smiled at her, that megawatt smile she had been dreaming about for days now. “Pick one.”
“In what context?” she asked as she pulled the seatbelt across her body. “Am I being attacked? Am I keeping one as a pet? Which one would I rather be?”
“Which one do you prefer?” he asked as he backed out of the driveway, his arm across the back of the bench seat while he had his head angled towards the back. Her eyes locked on the muscles that flexed in his forearms and she felt her mouth go dry. Jesus Christ. “Rebecca?”
She cleared her throat. “Zoo animals,” she choked out.
Ted tossed her a quick smile before they started on their way. “Great choice. Hey, what’s your favorite zoo animal?”
His arm had disappeared from where it rested along the back of the seat and she shifted a bit in her spot to angle towards him. Rebecca felt almost fascinated by the truck, and she wondered what kinds of stories it held, the memories made because of it. “A lion,” she answered simply. “King of the jungle, yeah?”
Ted smiled at her again while they stopped at a red light. “Hell yeah, king of the jungle. Mine’s those little red pandas that look so dang cute, it’s almost annoying. Like you’d wanna keep them as a pet but they’re also too dangerous for that.”
“Did you know the red panda symbolizes gentleness and patience?” She asked. “That’s rather fitting for you, I think.”
“What does a lion symbolize?” Ted asked.
Rebecca smiled. “Strength and courage.”
“Rather fitting for you,” he said, repeating her own words back as they continued down the street. It was late afternoon, and it was rather warm today but there was a gentle breeze coming off the water that seemed to keep things a bit cooler. The beach was packed with people and the ocean too, so she was glad to get away from it for the afternoon. “For the record, the context of my question had to do with our date today.”
Our date, she thought. The words rattled around in her mind as they drove on. “Themed mini-golf?” she questioned.
“You got it, babe,” and oh that had her heart racing. They had decided to meet a little later in the day today, planning for mini-golf and then dinner after. Ted had promised that most of the mini-golf courses on the beach had a ridiculous menu of fried foods and milkshakes, and honestly, that sounded perfect to her.
Ted turned into the parking lot and Rebecca was absolutely amused by the obnoxious zoo theme of the course. There were fake animals everywhere, standing atop fake rocks and mountains, some even resting beside waterfalls. There also seemed to be plants and flowers lining most of the putting greens, and she wasn’t certain if those were fake or not, but they were beautiful. They made their way inside to the cash register and once Rebecca had paid, they each picked a golf ball and putter and headed outside.
They played rock, paper, scissors to determine who would go first, and Rebecca’s paper covered Ted’s rock, so she set her red golf ball down on the fake green to start. “You know,” she started before she pulled her arms back and moved forward, letting the ball sail down the hole. “Red and blue are the colors of my father’s football club. Well, white and yellow too, I guess. But mostly red and blue.”
She exchanged places with Ted, who set his blue golf ball in the same starting spot. “Those are good team colors, used for some of the greats. The New York Rangers, New York Giants, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs. It’s a timeless combination, really.”
Rebecca grabbed the disposable camera she had thrown in her bag that morning so she could take a picture of Ted focused on the ball. “Not just in the sports world either,” she offered. “But in the art world too, otherwise we wouldn’t have different shades of purple.”
Ted smiled at her. “Exactly.” She took the picture before he looked away.
They played all 18 holes at a rather fast pace, as they were being followed by a family of five who seemed to be trying to see how quickly they could finish. By the end, after they returned the balls and clubs, Ted had deemed Rebecca the winner by two strokes. “Loser buys dinner?” she asked and Ted laughed.
“I’ll allow it.”
They ordered cheeseburgers and cheese fries and Diet Cokes and found a picnic table that wasn’t occupied to sit at. Rebecca pulled her camera out again and set it on the table before she took a sip of her drink. They had managed to take a few pictures while they were golfing, but not as many as she had wanted. “So, are you interested in photography?” Ted asked.
“Not so much photography, but more memories,” she told him. “My grandmother loved taking photos, and so did my mum. We have boxes of them all over the house, dating all the way back to when my grandparents were teenagers. I like sitting down and looking through them sometimes, creating stories in my head with each one.”
Ted smiled at her as she reached for a few cheese fries, shoving them all into her mouth to take a bite. When she ended up with a rather long string of cheese between her teeth and her hands, Ted reached for the camera immediately. She giggled when she heard the familiar ‘click’ of the shutter before she finished her fries. “That’ll be a winner for sure,” he announced and she laughed again.
“So what’s next on our list?”
He pulled his wallet from his pocket, removing the list to unfold it. “Ooo, continuing with our zoo theme, it’s a trip to Brookgreen Gardens and Lowcountry Zoo. They’re connected to one another, so we can see ‘em at the same time.”
Rebecca smiled. “When should we go?”
“Sunday?” He offered, an eyebrow raised. “It might end up bein’ an all day thing if that’s alright.”
She groaned. “All day with you? How will I survive?”
Ted smiled and shook his head, shoving a cheese fry into his mouth. “It’s a date,” he said. “I’ll drive, it’s definitely not within walkin’ distance.”
“Sounds perfect,” she replied before she stuck the straw of her Diet Coke between her teeth. They finished their food and returned to the truck, and this was quickly becoming her least favorite part of their time together: the goodbyes. At the first red light, she slid her hand across the bench seat and he took it without question. His thumb ran back and forth over her skin as he drove, the only sound in the truck coming from the radio and from Ted humming softly. It wasn’t a song she recognized, but being in the moment made her want to learn every word and every beat, like it was suddenly part of the soundtrack of her life.
She couldn’t help but wonder how long the chapter titled Ted would be.
The drive back to the house passed by too quickly and she felt an overwhelming rush of sadness when he turned down the driveway. Rebecca hated when they had to say goodbye, no matter how long it would be before she saw him again. And even knowing she’d see him in the morning, jogging and stretching on the beach, it didn’t help much. She enjoyed actually spending time with him, getting to know him, and letting him know her.
Ted put the truck in park and turned to face her and she sat there for a moment admiring his features again. His freckles, his dimples, his eyes, the stubble growing on his cheeks, the mustache.
It was almost annoying how attracted she was to him.
“Do I got some cheese stuck in my mustache?” he asked suddenly and she realized she had probably been staring for too long.
Rebecca shook her head quickly. “No, I, shit,” she faltered and she felt the heat in her cheeks. “I was staring, I’m sorry.”
Ted smiled at her and let out a short laugh. “That’s alright. I appreciate your honesty. And I gotta say, I’m surprised you haven’t caught me starin’ yet.”
“At me?” she asked and Ted laughed again. “What’s so funny?”
“Rebecca you might be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life,” he told her simply and she had absolutely no idea how her face hadn’t caught fire yet. “And I’m really enjoyin’ all of this time with you.”
She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid across the bench seat now, invading his space. “I’m enjoying my time with you too.”
Ted smiled at her once more before he leaned in and closed the distance, his lips on hers just like they were outside of the ice cream parlor. She had kissed him once at mini-golf but it was safe, chaste, like she didn’t want people staring. But here now in this truck, it seemed that neither of them were holding back. Their tongues tangled together and her hand wrapped around the back of his neck while his palm slid across the top of her thigh. Rebecca kept him close, kept his mouth to hers until they were both too desperate for air.
When they separated, she pulled her hand forward, her thumb now running up and down the length of his cheekbone. “You’re beautiful too, you know,” she whispered and the smile that bloomed on his face was unlike any other she had seen from him. She couldn’t help but giggle. “I really like you, Ted.”
“I really like you too, Rebecca,” he replied. “Sorta feels like fate that we crossed paths, huh?”
She nodded and leaned in once more. “Fate,” she whispered before she kissed him. “I like that.”
June 20th
Rebecca smiled softly, slowly reaching into her bag. “Ted, don’t move.” She pulled the camera out, holding it up to her eye while she angled it towards where a Monarch Butterfly had landed on Ted’s shoulder. They were taking part in the Whispering Wings Butterfly Experience at the Brookgreen Gardens, and while they had stopped to admire a cluster of Painted Lady butterflies, the Monarch had taken up residence on Ted. She took the picture quickly, a grin plastered on Ted’s face, before the butterfly took flight again, heading in the direction of a group of children who giggled when it arrived. “Do you know what it means when a Monarch lands on you?”
He shook his head at her. “What’s it mean?”
“It’s usually a sign that you’re on the right path and headed in the right direction,” she explained. “It can also be a sign of being grateful for what you have in your life right now.”
Ted leaned in and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You really do love readin’, don’t you?” Rebecca nodded. “Well, I think that Monarch is onto somethin’, because I am pretty grateful for what I’ve got right now.”
She kissed him now, slow and sweet while groups passed them by in the exhibit. They hadn’t been able to keep from touching since Ted picked her up that morning. They held hands in the middle of the bench seat for the entirety of the forty minute drive from the houses to Brookgreen Gardens, then it was more hand holding mixed in with a little kissing as they wandered the grounds of the Zoo and the Gardens all day. And truthfully, she didn’t mind the touching, which was odd for her, because she rarely liked being touched by anyone at all. She was never much of a hugger, even when she was a small child, and her mother always liked to remind her of it. She didn’t care for cuddling, or holding hands, but she wasn’t even a bit surprised when that was different with Ted.
Everything was different with Ted.
They made their way through the butterfly house, taking a few more pictures and stealing a few more kisses before they ended up outside again, continuing on their walk through the Gardens. They walked past zinnias and begonias and hydrangeas and roses. Ted begged her to stop in front of the rows of marigolds, asking her to pose so he could take a picture.
“I’m callin’ dibs on that one,” he said before he handed the camera back over. “Y’know I’ve been comin’ to these gardens since I was a kid but I ain’t never seen anythin’ prettier than these flowers until you.”
Rebecca felt the heat in her cheeks, and she knew it was from his words, not the heat in the air. “Ted,” she breathed.
Ted smiled at her, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I mean it, Rebecca. And I hope you don’t mind me sayin’ it.” She shook her head, unable to say anything out loud. “Good, because I like remindin’ you.”
He started walking again but Rebecca stayed frozen in place, her feet glued to the sidewalk. She felt a little dizzy from Ted’s compliments, a little unsteady from the impact of his words. No one had ever talked about her the way Ted did, like they truly saw her for what she was and not that they just wanted to see her naked. She was starting to wonder if maybe all of this was just a dream.
“Rebecca?” She blinked a few times and found Ted standing in front of her now, a soft smile on his face. “Everythin’ alright?”
Rebecca nodded and smiled back at him. “Everything’s perfect.”
She slipped her hand into his again and they started off towards the cafe they were planning to have a late lunch at. They ordered sandwiches and crisps and Diet Cokes and made their way onto the porch that extended away from the back door, with a gorgeous view of the gardens spread out before them. They found a small table for two tucked against the railing that was unoccupied, and they slid into the chair across from each other to enjoy their lunch.
“Okay, I gotta ask,” Ted started. “How do you know so many facts about everything?”
Rebecca laughed, wiping her hands on her napkin before she answered. “It really is just from reading too much. My mum swears I started reading before I even started walking. And I’ve always found comfort and safety in books. They give you somewhere to escape to when you need a break from reality. I think that’s where my desire to become a teacher came from. I love the idea of being able to educate children and expose them to the world of reading.”
She wasn’t quite ready to tell him that books were probably what saved her from completely spiraling out of control and running away after what happened with her father.
“Y’know, I could see you bein’ one of those kindergarten teachers that gathers her class up in a circle just to read picture books to them,” Ted told her. “Or takin’ ‘em outside to explore nature and see what kinds of plants and animals they can find.”
Rebecca smiled. “I think that’s the same as Year One, right? Like five and six year olds?”
Ted nodded. “You got different names for your education system over there?”
“We do,” she said with a laugh. “We start at Year R, or Reception, and then go up through Year Thirteen, and from there it’s off to university for undergraduate studies.”
“And what year were you wantin’ to teach?”
Rebecca shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly. I mean I’ve always thought about Year Eight or Nine, because it’s the transition period from Junior School to Senior School, and I remember how awful those years were for me. But then sometimes I think about being able to teach really young children, like in Reception or Year One, when they’re still full of wonder and excitement towards school, and I think I’d really love that too.”
Ted smiled, reaching for his Diet Coke. “Well, whatever age you choose, I know you’re gonna be an incredible teacher.”
“Thank you, Ted,” she whispered before she reached her hand into the bag of crisps and popped one into her mouth. “So what are you planning to study at uni?”
“Ooo, that is a loaded question, Miss Welton,” Ted replied. “I’ve sorta been leanin’ towards Sports Management, because I like the idea of stickin’ around the sports world even if I’m not playin’. But if that doesn’t work out, I was thinkin’ about exercise science. Or interpretive dance.”
Rebecca nearly choked on her Diet Coke. “I’m sorry, dance?!”
Ted smiled and shook his head. “Nah, I can’t dance. Just wanted to hear your laugh.”
Her cheeks burned hot. “One time, in Year Three, there was this boy in my class, his name was Charles, and I was standing with a few of my friends and one of them told a joke, and I started laughing, like just really hard to a point where I couldn’t breathe. And this boy walks by, mind you I had never really spoken to him, and he looks at me and, with his chest puffed out, says to me, “Your laugh is very ugly” and I was so shocked. I didn’t really know what to say to him, so I just walked away. I went home that night and cried in my mother’s arms and begged her not to send me to school the next day.”
“Did she?”
Rebecca shook her head. “She called me out sick and we went to the sunflower fields instead. I think that’s my favorite memory of going there with her, being able to separate myself from reality and just sort of living in a dream world surrounded by those magnificent flowers and colors. I begged her not to make us leave, but to compromise, she promised to pull me out of school one day every year so we could go see the sunflowers together. And we did until I turned sixteen.”
Ted frowned. “What happened at sixteen?”
“I think by then, I thought it was uncool to spend time with my mother like that,” she lied.
He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “Well, I’m sorry that happened. And whoever that Charles fella is, I hope he got his karma. Because honestly, Becca, I think I could listen to you talk and laugh all the damn time. Hell, I bet you can sing too, can’t ya?”
Rebecca felt her cheeks warm again and watched the way Ted’s eyes grew wide. “Perhaps.”
There was a joyful smile on his face. “I hope I’ll get to hear that one day.”
She winked at him and reached for her bag of crisps. “If you’re lucky.”
“Honey, I feel like the luckiest man alive this summer.”
June 23rd
Rebecca stood in front of Deborah in the kitchen, both stirring milk into their cups of tea. “You know, Sausage, we’ve almost been here for a month and I haven’t heard you complain once.”
She bit back a smile, setting her spoon on the counter and lifting her cup to her lips. “There hasn’t been anything to complain about, mother.”
“And that wouldn’t have anything to do with that young man you’re watching every morning?” Deborah asked, lifting her own cup for a taste. Her face felt like someone had doused it in petrol, struck a match, and tossed it at her forehead. “Oh love, don’t pretend we haven’t noticed. You’ve spent every single morning watching him run on that beach and I assume he’s the one you’ve been running off with most days?”
Rebecca nodded at her mother, guiltily, as if she was doing something wrong. “I’m sorry, mum.”
Deborah raised an eyebrow at her. “Sorry for what? Sweetheart, I’m glad you’ve found someone to spend this time with. I didn’t- I wanted you to enjoy this summer,” she admitted. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you this happy.”
It was on the tip of her tongue, what she’d like to say to her mother about her unhappiness, about the distance she was so desperately trying to put between her and her parents. But it wouldn’t fix anything, and she really didn’t want to ruin this summer. Not now.
“So are we ever going to have the chance to meet this young man?” Deborah asked and Rebecca looked up at her, swallowing down any thoughts of telling the truth.
“Oh mum, is that really necessary?” she asked.
Deborah smiled at her. “Perhaps not,” she replied. “But please don’t feel like you can’t bring him around here. This house is so big, we’d probably never even see you two.” She filed that idea away for later. “Do you have any plans for today?”
Rebecca nodded. “We’re going line dancing tonight.”
“You’re going line dancing?” her mother questioned.
She nodded again. “Yes, mother. It’s a long story.”
“I have time.”
Rebecca huffed, and considered just lying about the reason behind it, but she told a condensed version of the truth. “Ted has this list of things to do over the summer, and so we’ve been trying to cross off as many as we can before I have to go home.” Deborah was smiling at her, a wide grin she wasn’t sure she had ever seen on her mother’s face before, and it was almost frustrating. “What?”
Deborah shook her head. “Nothing, I just- I hope you never forget this summer. No matter where life takes you, Sausage.”
She rolled her eyes at the sentiment, but knew deep down she’d remember every single moment of this summer for the rest of her life. They had only been in Myrtle Beach for a few weeks at this point, but the memories she had made with Ted would undoubtedly last a lifetime. Rebecca just tried not to think about the fact that once she returned to Richmond, there was a good chance she’d never see Ted again.
“I should get ready,” she said quietly, and picked up her cup to take with her.
“Have fun, Rebecca,” her mother replied and Rebecca felt herself smile. “And please, not too late tonight?”
Rebecca nodded. “I promise.” She retreated upstairs to her room, setting her teacup down on the nightstand while she started to look through the clothes she had packed. She had asked Ted what would be appropriate, and he assured her something casual would be fine. But nothing felt right the longer she looked. She picked up jeans and t-shirts and dresses and skirts and shorts and tanks but it all felt wrong. She groaned, falling back on the bed, onto piles of clothes and stared at the ceiling.
She loved spending time with Ted but she absolutely hated how fucking nervous he made her feel.
After a long moment of staring at nothing, she took a deep breath and sat up, considering her clothes once more. She settled on a plain black shirt layered beneath her denim overall shorts paired with her high tops. She pulled her hair into a loose side braid that fell over her shoulder, and took one last look in the mirror before she headed downstairs to find her bag and head out to meet Ted. When she reached the last step, she overheard her parents talking from the living room.
“I just thought we were going to use this time for the three of us before she leaves for school,” her father commented.
“And that’s what I wanted too, Paul, but she’s happy. When’s the last time you saw her this happy?”
Nearly two years ago, she thought to herself. And it’s all his fault.
Rebecca didn’t feel like listening anymore, making her way quickly down the hallway and slipping out the front door quietly. She immediately felt relief wash over her when she spotted Ted at the end of the driveway, hands in his pockets, leaned against the side of his car waiting for her.
“Hi,” she breathed, leaning in to kiss him when she was close enough.
Ted was frowning at her when they pulled away and she knew she had failed in schooling her expression. “Everythin’ alright?” he asked.
Rebecca nodded and smiled, and she watched the way his face softened. “It is now.” She threaded her fingers between his and squeezed once before they separated and climbed into the car to head off towards the club. She was quiet the entire drive, and she felt bad about that, but she appreciated the fact that Ted didn’t push her. She considered telling him the truth, the entire story behind that horrid evening she carried with her, deep in her mind, haunting her every move. She wondered what he’d say, if he’d even say anything, or if he’d just listen. The truth was on the tip of her tongue again, but she swallowed it down whole.
She didn’t want to ruin their night together.
They pulled into the parking lot and Rebecca watched people filter in and out of the front entrance, most of the girls dressed in tank tops and denim shorts and tall cowboy boots, while the boys wore some type of plaid button down and jeans with their boots. She peeked over at Ted’s outfit, and then back at hers, and she couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the contrast. “I think we might be a little underdressed.”
Ted smiled at her and turned off the car. “Ah, well, we’ll just have to make it up on the dancefloor then, won’t we?”
Rebecca smiled. “Have you line danced before?”
“Oh, heck no! I’ve gone to watch a few times, but never done it on my own,” he told her. “Luckily, they’re teachin’ some basic dances tonight, so I think we’ll be fine.”
It had been a long time since Rebecca had done any sort of dancing, and she had never once attempted line dancing. But the thought of learning with Ted was exhilarating, and she could feel her heart racing in her chest. They entered the club together and were immediately surrounded by the sounds of some country song playing loudly over the speakers. There was a small group of people in the middle of the dance floor, and it was evident they were experts, moving their feet and arms so quickly in unison to the music. Ted led her to an empty table against the wall, just big enough for two and they were instantly greeted by one of the waitresses. They ordered Diet Cokes and some appetizers to split and when the waitress walked away, Rebecca turned her attention towards the dancers who had now slowed down and were dancing in pairs in a circle. They moved as a unit, rotating in perfect rhythm to the slow song that played around them. The waitress returned with their drinks and she tucked the straw between her teeth, her eyes still watching the dancers.
“You think we can pull that off?” Ted asked and she turned to face him now.
She smiled. “Only if you let me lead.”
Ted started to laugh and she watched the way his eyes crinkled in the corners. She had seen him laugh a few times over the weeks they had been hanging out, but she thought maybe she could listen to the sound of it for the rest of her life and never get tired of it.
She wished she could.
Their food was delivered and they shared baskets full of greasy fried foods and listened to the music and shared stories between bites, just like they had at the gardens. Rebecca had just bitten into a fried pickle when there was a voice coming over the speakers.
“Our next lesson will be starting in ten minutes, and we’ll be learning the steps to Boot Scootin’ Boogie by Brooks and Dunn,” the woman announced in a thick accent. “Please head to the dance floor at this time if you’d like to participate.”
Rebecca hopped down from her seat and held her hand out for Ted. “Come on, hot stuff. Let’s dance.” She pulled him to the dance floor and he hugged her from behind, pulling her into him and his lips landed in the crook of her neck. It was a level of intimacy she had never experienced with a boy before, a level of intimacy she had closed off for very specific reasons. She had a hard time ever imagining reaching this point with anyone, but it was so easy with Ted. Rebecca didn’t feel the urge to close herself off or shield her feelings from him. She wanted to hold his hand, wanted to kiss him and touch him.
She wondered, very briefly as Ted’s chin rested against her shoulder, if this was what being in love felt like.
No, she thought. It can’t be.
Because who falls in love after only seventeen days of knowing someone?
Her grandparents did, she remembered suddenly.
“Alright, dancers, let’s get into a few lines so we can start.” The woman’s voice cut through her thoughts like a knife and she tried hard to focus on the instructor that stood at the front. She watched intently as the instructor cycled through sections of steps, making sure everyone knew each section well before moving on. When Rebecca felt confident in her memorization of movements, she would look over at Ted, who had a harder time getting things down, but eventually mastered each step. By the time the music was added in, Rebecca felt like she was in her element, and she was truly enjoying herself.
Nerves rushed through her when the instructor announced they would take a five minute break before they did the dance in its entirety, and suddenly, Ted’s arms were around her waist again, his face buried in her neck. There was a bolt of lightning that coursed through her veins, a rumble of thunder booming in her chest at his touch. His lips pressed into her skin and she felt her knees wobble. “You ready for this?” he asked softly.
“I think so,” she whispered back, covering his hands with her own over her stomach. “Are you?”
He breathed out a laugh. “Oh hell no,” he answered. “I’m gonna make a fool of myself. I’m excited to watch you dance though.”
The instructor called them all back and Ted and Rebecca lined up beside one another, waiting for the countdown and the music to start. And once it began, they started on the steps they had practiced for nearly the last hour. It was one of the most fun things Rebecca had done in her eighteen years of life, and she was so thankful she got to share it with Ted. The three minutes of the song flew by rather quickly, and by the end, Rebecca was laughing so hard that there was a pleasant ache in her chest. Ted had messed up a few of the steps but otherwise, they both finished out the dance in perfect time, a loud applause ringing through the club from those who didn’t join in.
A slow song played out over the speakers now, and Rebecca started towards the table but Ted pulled her back, his hand gentle on her wrist. “Ah, ah, not so fast.” Ted pulled her in close, their hands and arms falling where they needed to, and they were swaying slowly, surrounded by other couples as the song played.
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
Yeah, you say it best
When you say nothing at all
Rebecca rested her head against Ted’s as they moved, letting the moment and the lyrics soak into her mind. She felt like she was living in a movie scene: the slow dance with the beautiful boy she met on holiday in a new city. She closed her eyes as they drifted, thinking back to something her grandmother had told her when she was younger, when Rebecca had asked how she knew her grandfather was the one. Her grandmother’s response was simple, and although it didn’t make sense at the time, it was making perfect sense now.
“It felt like I had been struck by lightning, Sausage.”
Rebecca couldn’t think of a better way to describe what she was feeling at the moment.
June 26th
“Are you sure this is safe?”
Rebecca sat on a small outdoor sofa, her knees tucked up to her chest while she watched Ted start a fire in a small pit that was built into the patio of his grandparent’s beach house. He struck a match in his hands and she watched the flame form, and then watched the way he tucked the flame in between a few logs of wood, the logs slowly starting to catch fire one by one. She felt warmer as the fire spread in front of her, and when Ted sat down beside her, hip to hip, she felt like one of the logs covered in flames.
“Oh yeah, Grandpa builds fires every summer out here,” Ted replied. “He’s got the permit and everythin’.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder and watched as the flames danced around, the moon reflecting off the ocean in the background. Ted had told her the night they went line dancing that he wanted to spend their night under the stars this weekend, that Saturday night showed crystal clear skies. He promised a bonfire with s’mores, and a night out under the moon and stars until it got too late. “We’ll watch The Sandlot on a rainy day,” he promised.
Rebecca had been nervous about tonight for a myriad of reasons. The most daunting being the fact that this was the first time they were hanging out completely alone, and she was very aware of the fact that not only could his family see them if they looked out the windows, but her mother could probably see them if she stood at the edge of their balcony and focused. The only thing that would work in her favor was the blanketed darkness of the night.
They stayed pressed together for a few moments as the fire crackled before them, her head on his shoulder, his hand in hers in his lap. His thumb brushed back and forth over her knuckles and she felt little jolts of electricity shooting through her veins at every touch. They were starting to spend more time together now, even on days they didn’t have anything from the bucket list planned. Most days they’d just walk along the beach or the boardwalk, telling stories, holding hands, and making each other laugh.
And as much as it terrified her, she knew she was falling in love with Ted. Because of course her first true love would happen to be a boy with a mustache and an accent who lived on an entirely different continent. A boy she might never see again after this summer.
A boy she knew was going to ultimately change her life forever.
“What’s on your mind?” Ted asked beside her and she smiled at just how well he could read her.
“You,” she answered simply. “I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so comfortable with another human being in my entire life.”
Ted pressed his lips into her hair. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, I got my mama, obviously, and I’ve got friends at school, but I ain’t ever felt a connection with someone the way I feel it with you.”
It almost felt cruel, knowing their paths crossed just for them to be torn apart after only three months. But she just kept trying to remind herself that they met for a reason, and no matter if they crossed paths in the future, Ted would always be an important chapter in her life, no matter how little time they got together.
“Ted, what do you think falling in love feels like?”
He let out a quiet laugh and then leaned his head against hers, their hands still joined in his lap. She was angled closer to him now, craving the warmth he always offered to her with no hesitation. “I’m not sure it’s just one specific feelin’, y’know? I think it’s like this incredible combination of so many different feelings, that it’s almost too much to handle. I’ve always believed in the “you know when you know” theory because I think bein’ in love is different for everyone.”
Rebecca smiled. “My grandmother once told me that falling in love with my grandfather, and being loved by him, made her feel like she had been struck by lightning.”
He hummed and lifted his head, his finger hooking under her chin to pull her face to his own. “I think she might’ve been onto somethin’ with that,” he whispered before he kissed her, long and slow, and she couldn’t get enough of the way they just seemed to fit together. Their bodies moved in perfect harmony to adjust, to allow the other in without hesitation. She loved getting lost in Ted, loved the way he was so gentle with her and so kind.
When he pulled away, a soft giggle escaped her lips and Ted’s eyebrows furrowed. “My mustache ticklin’ you again?”
Rebecca sat up and turned in her seat to face him fully. “No, I was just thinking about something Sassy said to me before I left. She made me promise to kiss a mad fit boy under the stars.”
Ted nodded. “And am I mad fit enough for Sassy Smurf’s standards?”
“You’re mad fit enough for mine,” she replied softly. “Also, I don’t think there was a Sassy Smurf,” she added.
“There wasn’t? Well, there should’ve been.”
Ted stood now, reaching for the metal skewer resting on the side of the fire pit before he pulled over the bag of ingredients he had brought down from the house earlier. He handed Rebecca the skewer before he ripped open a bag of giant marshmallows, sliding one over the tip of the metal.”Alright, come on. This is your official lesson in makin’ s’mores.”
Rebecca stood beside him and held the skewer in her hand. “Okay, what’s the first step?”
“Hold that over the fire until it’s toasted to your liking.”
She held it out over the open flame, watching as the marshmallow slowly started to bubble and turn brown. “And then what?” She looked over and found Ted breaking a graham cracker in half, doing the same with a chocolate bar and layering the chocolate on top of the graham.
“And then, when your marshmallow is toasted the way you want it,” he said, coming to stand beside her again, “you’ll put it right here on this chocolate and we’ll make it a little sandwich.”
“Won’t the marshmallow melt the chocolate?” she asked.
Ted smiled and nodded. “Exactly.”
Rebecca lifted the marshmallow from the flame and noticed it was on fire. “And what do you suggest I do about this?”
He leaned in and blew on it, the flames disappearing and leaving her with a charred marshmallow. “Y’blow on it,” he answered simply. “And if it’s too burnt, I’ll eat it.” Rebecca pushed the marshmallow down onto the chocolate and watched as Ted covered it with the other half of the graham cracker. “Slide the skewer out slowly, otherwise you’ll fling this bad boy all over.”
She giggled and removed it slowly, the end covered in sticky fluff. Rebecca took the sweet treat from Ted’s hand into her own and slowly took her first bite. “Fuck me,” she proclaimed around the snack, the chocolate and marshmallow melting on her tongue. Ted’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead at her reaction.
“Not sure I’ve ever seen someone enjoy a s’more that much before,” he remarked.
Rebecca smiled and offered him a bite. “Here.”
He bit into the s’more still in her hand and smiled as he pulled away, chewing slowly while she watched him. “That marshmallow is toasted perfectly,” he said.
They each made another s’more to enjoy before they gathered blankets and headed out onto the sand for the next portion of their night together. They laid a heavy blanket down over the sand, then rolled two more to use as makeshift pillows if they needed them. Ted immediately laid down, head resting on the rolled up blanket while he stared up at the sky, and when Rebecca joined him, she rested her head on his chest instead. They were both quiet for a few moments, the sounds of the water and the lingering noise of people surrounding them, until she took a deep breath and spoke first.
“My father cheated on my mother,” she breathed, and she felt his hand still for just a moment before it continued its motion. “He did it in our home, and I walked in on them together.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she felt the tears slip down her cheek. “I was with Sassy, and I asked her to keep the secret because I didn’t know what else to do. My father acted like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t broken promises he made to my mother, and so I tried to act like it didn’t happen either. But it haunts me. It’s been nearly two years and it haunts me so often, so frequently, that I think it’s starting to ruin my life.”
She felt the way Ted let out a deep breath, and as much as she wanted to see his face, because she knew that it would keep her calm, she couldn’t look at him right now. She needed to stay focused on the ocean, the way the stars reflected off the water, the way the waves moved slowly towards the shore. “I’ve been lying to my friends,” she continued. “Sassy, she’s a wonderful friend most of the time, and I’m so appreciative of her keeping this secret, but sometimes she can be a bit much. She’s so obsessed with being cool, and being popular. I swear she has this checklist of things she needed to accomplish before starting university, and of course she couldn’t participate without getting me involved too. And the most important item on that list was having sex for the first time. She spent hours and days and weeks trying to pressure me into finding some random boy to just go and have sex with, to get it out of the way so I was prepared for Uni. Which is honestly just so stupid because it’s a social construct and no one should give a fuck if you’re still a virgin at eighteen.”
Rebecca was crying harder now, and she took a moment to compose herself, the sound of the waves surrounding them again. “But anyways I couldn’t do it. Because every time I imagined myself getting to that level of intimacy with a boy, all I could think about was my father, what I witnessed, and how it made me feel. It’s left me feeling broken, and ruined. Sometimes I fear I’ll never allow myself that full intimacy and complete vulnerability with someone.”
The quiet fell over them like a blanket now, and she thought she might start to panic, thought maybe her breathing would quicken or her vision would get blurry, but it never came. Instead she focused on the steady pull of Ted’s fingers through her hair, and the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear.
“I know I ain’t ever been through what you’ve had to experience,” he said quietly, his voice low. “But I hope you know how sorry I am. Life is already hard enough without throwin’ in things like that, those moments that just sorta alter the way we see things and experience anythin’ else. And look, I don’t wanna make any assumptions about you and I and where we might be headin’ this summer, but I can promise you one thing. I will respect whatever choices you make in regards to us. There ain’t gonna be any pressure from me to go even one step further if that’s not what you want.”
Rebecca lifted her head now, an elbow propped beneath her so she could finally look at Ted’s face. He turned to look back at her, and she marveled at the way the deep color of his eyes glimmered beneath the moonlight. She traced a finger across his face, along his jawline, outlining his lips until a smile formed. “You’re really rather wonderful,” she whispered. “And meeting you is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Ted’s hand slipped into her hair again, but he didn’t move. She knew he was leaving the decision up to her. And she moved in, closing her lips over his, kissing him just as she had been all summer. She wanted to kiss him forever, kiss him every single day for the rest of her life. And just for tonight, she thought maybe it would be okay to daydream about a future that included Ted, including their lives intertwined in every aspect. They’d live together and get married and have three children and the life they’d have would be full of love and laughter and light.
Just for tonight, she let her mind wander too far into the future.
And she really loved everything she saw.
Chapter 2: July, 1993.
Notes:
You guys are absolutely incredible and I am blown away by all of the love for this fic so far. Thank you SO MUCH for reading and I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter!
Chapter Text
July 4th
Rebecca stood in front of the full-length mirror in the room she had been staying in, studying her reflection. She wore a simple white sundress, the thin straps across her shoulders a stark contrast to her tanned skin after a month at the beach. She noticed her hair was a bit lighter, no doubt from her time in the sun, and that she looked happy, which was something she was certain she hadn’t really shown or felt for the last two years.
She was also absolutely certain that Ted Lasso had changed her life for the better in the short time she had known him.
He was nice to her, gentle with her, and very patient. He made her feel like she was truly enough, and he made her feel wanted. And most importantly, he made her feel loved.
The longer she stared at herself in the mirror, the more she recognized a drastic change. Like she was finally becoming the woman she needed to be, instead of the little girl she always saw herself as. She couldn’t help but wonder about what the future held for her, where she would end up after her time at Cambridge, whether she’d find success in teaching or if there was a different route that her life would take.
She wondered if Ted fit into those plans, if somehow their paths would cross once more and continue on as one together.
She tried not to entertain the idea that their story would end the minute she packed up her bags and boarded her plane next month. She had spent more nights than she cared to admit trying to develop a plan, a way for them to stay in each other’s lives once they were separated by an entire ocean. She knew it would be difficult, and she knew there was a possibility he wouldn’t even want that, but she couldn’t help herself.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever find someone like him again.
Rebecca swiped the brush of her lip gloss along her bottom lip when she heard the faint sound of the doorbell sound through the house. She took one last look in the mirror before she grabbed her bag and made her way downstairs, stopping just a few steps short when she heard Ted talking to her parents.
“Hello, ma’am. I’m Ted,” she heard him say.
She smiled when she heard her mother respond. “I’m Deborah, Rebecca’s mum. Please, do come in. She’ll be down in a moment.” She heard their footsteps on the hardwood floor as they moved closer to the kitchen. “Paul, dear, this is Ted.”
“Nice to meet you, sir.”
Her father’s deep voice filled the room, strong and steady, like he was in command. “So you’re the one who’s been keeping my little girl busy this summer?” Rebecca rolled her eyes.
“Yes sir, I hope that’s alright,” Ted answered and Rebecca felt her stomach flip while she waited on her father’s reply. She knew he wanted her to enjoy her time here, but she also knew that he was hoping she’d spend more time with him and her mother. She thought it might be him trying to make amends with what had happened between them two years ago without him actually having to admit it.
She could hear the smile in Paul’s voice when he responded. “That’s quite alright, she seems to be enjoying herself so far.”
Rebecca took the last of the steps and Ted immediately caught her eye when she appeared. “Hi Ted.”
“Hey, Becca,” he replied.
It was magnetic the way their eyes stayed locked on each other, and the whole room was quiet until her mother spoke, breaking their hold. “Well, don’t let us keep you, dear. Ted, you’ll bring her home in one piece I hope?”
Ted nodded and gave a small salute. “Yes ma’am, you can count on that. Hey, are y’all comin’ out to see the fireworks too?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Deborah answered, looking to Paul and then back to Ted. “We hadn’t discussed it, really.”
“Well, to tell ya the truth, you’ll probably be able to see ‘em from the balcony here,” he replied. “But if you head on down to the pier beforehand, there’s live music and food and probably some dancin’ too.”
Paul nodded, and it felt like he approved knowing what his daughter would be up to tonight. “You kids have fun tonight,” he said.
Rebecca gave both of her parents quick kisses to their cheeks before she approached Ted, her hand slipping into his immediately. “It was nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Welton,” Ted said with a quick wave before they headed towards the front door and stepped outside.
The air around them was warm, typical for a July evening in South Carolina, but neither she nor Ted seemed to mind the proximity. They walked hand in hand towards the pier, both quiet, and she let herself take in the moment with him, letting herself bask in the silence that surrounded him.
She wondered what he was thinking about as they walked. Ted loved to talk, loved to fill the quiet moments with his thoughts or a joke, and in turn, she always found herself enjoying whatever it was he had to say. Sometimes, when she could tell he was deep in thought, she let him go and gave him the space she thought he might need. She waited patiently until he slipped out of whatever thought had taken him in, and he always paid her the same courtesy.
Now, Rebecca seemed to pull him from his thoughts when she squeezed his hand gently. “What’s on your mind, love?”
“I was just thinkin’ about how different my life mighta been if I had met you sooner,” he admitted softly. “But then I think that maybe I met ya when I needed it most.”
She stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk, a few people dodging around them as they continued towards the festivities. He looked like he was starting to ask a question, perhaps if something was wrong, but her lips were pressed to his before he could get the words out. There was a sense of urgency in her kiss, like she needed it to mean more than what it did, and he allowed her to take what she needed.
When they pulled apart, she was smiling, and he smiled right back at her. “What was that for?” he asked, his voice low.
Rebecca shrugged, leaning in for one more quick kiss. “I just wanted to.”
They made their way onto the pier and joined the line at Mammy’s to order cheeseburgers and fries and Diet Cokes before they headed down to the beach to find a spot to enjoy dinner and then fireworks. Rebecca laid out the blanket on the sand and they sat cross-legged across from each other, sharing stories between bites, mostly Ted’s stories of past years celebrating the Fourth of July. He watched her as she laughed at his ridiculous tales, her head thrown back in amusement, her hair blowing in the breeze off the ocean. She watched him reach for her disposable camera as she laughed, the lens angled towards her, the falling sun across the horizon behind her. He took two pictures, and she felt her cheeks flush the longer he held the camera up. “You’re so damn beautiful, Becca,” he whispered as he set it back on the blanket, and the soft noise of the waves crashing settled around them.
The sun was finally nearly set and Ted and Rebecca were lying on their backs, heads tilted towards the sky, the stars starting to shine through. Their hands were joined in what little space was left between them, and she loved the way it felt when she ran her thumb gently back and forth over his knuckles. They had been quiet for a while now, the only sounds coming from the waves and the people around them lost in their own conversations. The fireworks were scheduled to start soon, and much like the previous days she had spent with Ted, she wasn’t looking forward to when it ended.
“Ted, do you think we’ll ever cross paths again after this summer?”
Rebecca’s voice was soft, like she was trying to tell him a secret, despite the fact that no one was close enough to hear her. Her own question cut through her like a knife, a fear she had been carrying around in silence suddenly out in the open between them.
“I don’t know,” he answered, his voice matching hers. “I mean, I’d like to believe we will, maybe somewhere down the road, in a few years, but honestly honey, I just don’t know. And I don’t think we will know until it happens.”
Rebecca rolled onto her side now and Ted followed, their bodies now facing one another, and she admired the way his eyes glittered under the moonlight. He reached over to push her hair from her face, tucking the strands behind her ear. “I hope we do,” she whispered, and he leaned in to kiss her, his lips brushing against hers.
And underneath the bright lights of the fireworks blanketing the night sky, under the streaks of red and yellow and blue and white, she made a promise to herself to do whatever it took to make sure they crossed paths again.
July 9th
“So you’re gonna put your ring finger here, and then your pinky here.” Ted pointed to the second and fifth laces, and Rebecca slid her fingers across the leather like he showed her. “Now, make sure you leave a little space between your fingers and the pigskin here.”
Rebecca’s face soured. “Pigskin?”
He smiled at her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Y’don’t like that?”
“It sounds torturous,” she replied.
“Don’t worry, they aren’t made of pigskin anymore,” he told her. “But they are made outta cowhide,” he added quickly and he cut her off before she could protest. “Alright, so once you’ve got a comfortable grip on the ball, you gotta angle your body towards whatever target you’re aimin’ for.”
He stepped up behind her, his hands dropping to her hips so he could turn her slightly, twisting her just enough. She was facing his grandparent’s house now, the ball still held gently in her fingertips. “And what will my target be?” she asked, her voice a little breathless.
Ted squeezed her left hip in his hand. “Me, once I get done showin’ you what to do.”
The sky was overcast today, and their original plans for the day had been skewed by the weather, so Ted thought it might be the perfect time to teach Rebecca how to throw a football properly. The beach was fairly empty, most likely due to the weather forecast, but so far, the rain showers had held off. “So once you’re facin’ where you wanna throw, you pull this arm back behind your head, like this,” he instructed and lifted her right arm back to an angle. “And then when you start to throw, you wanna rotate your hand as you move forward.”
Rebecca followed his instructions slowly, going through the motions he described without letting the football go from her hand. She repeated the steps a few times before Ted moved to stand in front of her, a wide smile on his face. “You ready to try it out?”
She nodded. “I think so.”
Ted jogged down the sand, leaving a fair distance between them before he threw his arms up in the air. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got!”
Rebecca took a deep breath before she checked her finger placement and then pulled her arm back, just like Ted had shown her. And when she launched the ball forward, she watched it tumble through the air before Ted moved to catch it. It wasn’t perfect, she knew that much, but it wasn’t the worst she could have done. He jogged back over, the football cradled in the crook of his arm. He still had a grin on his face when he reached her. “Not too bad for your first time.”
“Excuse me, I thought that was pretty damn good.”
He leaned in to kiss her softly. “Yeah, I’m just teasin’.” Rebecca wound her arms around his neck and pulled him in, their lips pressed together again. She felt when he dropped the football to the sand and his arms snaked around her waist, the way he lifted her just far enough off her feet that they were dangling in the air. She realized now, the more days she spent with Ted, the more it truly felt like she was living in a movie this summer. Three months at the beach with a beautiful boy the summer before she’d start at Uni. Three months of making memories, having fun, and not having to worry about responsibility.
It almost felt too good to be true, like she was living in a dream world.
Rebecca was quickly humbled when the sky above them seemed to open up and raindrops came down heavy on their heads.
They moved swiftly to get inside, Ted scooping the football up and both of them practically sprinting up towards his house until they were under cover. They stood under the overhang now, watching as the giant drops of rain fell heavy against the warm pavement and splashed into the surface of the swimming pool. Ted tossed the ball towards the pool before he pulled Rebecca in by the waist, his lips on hers to catch the giggle she let out.
And just like that, everything felt like a dream again.
“Come on,” he mumbled against her lips. “I’ll find ya some dry clothes.”
Ted pulled her inside and she was immediately overcome with how the house felt like a home upon entry. It had been very evident to Rebecca when she had first arrived at the beach with her parents that the house they were staying in was used strictly as a vacation home. It felt like everything was staged, like the furniture and art were simply meant to be admired and not used. Which she thought, perhaps, that was the point seeing as whoever was staying there was only visiting for a short time in a new city. They probably weren’t planning to spend much time in the home.
But now seeing the way Ted’s home was decorated, filled with memories and life, it almost made her wish their house down the road felt a little less stiff.
“Ted, this place is beautiful.”
She followed him up a short flight of stairs that opened up into a spacious kitchen with an eat-in dining area and led further into what appeared to be a more formal dining room, but it was filled with brown boxes labeled in black marker. “Yeah, it’s gonna be weird not stayin’ here every summer after this.”
Rebecca frowned at him. “You won’t come back?”
He shrugged before he led her up another set of stairs and down a long hallway. “If we do, we probably won’t stay here. The house is in such a good spot, Mama would never wanna take it away from the tourists that’ll wanna rent it out. We’d probably just stay in a hotel close to where my grandparents will be.” Ted pushed a door open now and Rebecca could tell it was his room they were stepping into. She was starting to shiver now in her wet clothes and she watched as he rifled through a few drawers before he pulled out a tee and a sweatshirt. “Alright, pick one.”
Rebecca pointed towards the tee and he handed it over. “It’s yours.”
“What? Ted, no-”
But he insisted. “I’ll be able to get another one when I start school next year. It’s fine, I promise.”
She unfolded the black shirt and saw the words “Wichita State Shockers” printed on the front in a bright, gold color, the letters outlined in white. The fabric was soft and the collar looked worn, like Ted had owned it for a while now. “Are you sure?”
Ted nodded. “It’s gonna look better on you than it’s ever looked on me. The bathroom’s right through there,” he told her, his finger pointed towards a closed door. “Take all the time you need.”
Rebecca approached the door as if it were covered in barbed wire, her handle gentle on the knob as she turned it to open. She stepped inside and immediately closed the door behind her before she stood and stared at herself in the mirror. The bathroom was dim without the overhead light on, and when she flipped the switch, she laughed at her reflection. Her hair was a mess, falling loose from her ponytail with the wet pieces sticking to various spots on her face and neck. The mascara she had applied before she left her own house this morning had left smudges beneath her eyes and she wiped at them with a tissue before she peeled the wet shirt from her body and pulled the shirt Ted had given her over her head. The black material was a drastic contrast against her tanned skin, and she stared at herself for just a moment dressed in Ted’s clothes before she tugged the ponytail from her hair and let her hair fall down around her shoulders. She knew as her hair dried, it would look wavy and loose, and it would dry faster out of the hair tie.
She took a deep breath before she stepped back out of the bathroom and found Ted sitting on the edge of his bed. He turned towards her when he heard the door open, and she watched the way his mouth hung open slightly. “What?” she asked quickly, ducking her head to try and see what was wrong.
“Nothin’, you’re just-” he started and then stopped himself before a soft laugh left his lips. “Forgive me for what I’m about to say, but you’re really hot.”
Rebecca smiled at him before she let out her own laugh, and Ted pulled her down to the mattress while she giggled. He towered over her, his arms caging her in on either side before he dipped down and kissed her, his mustache brushing across her upper lip. She tangled her fingers in his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp while he deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping across the seam of her lips before she let him in. She found his hip with her other hand, her fingers slipping up beneath the hem of his shirt to find skin. She gasped when she felt his hand slip under her own shirt, his palm settling flat against her rib cage, and she found herself desperately wishing he’d just take it off of her. She felt the fabric inching up her skin slowly, his hand pushing higher up her side, when there was a voice echoing through the stairwell.
“Teddy! Can you come help with the groceries please?”
Ted pulled his hand from Rebecca’s skin like it had burned him and she couldn’t hold in her laughter when he ducked his head into her shoulder. She could feel him shaking with his own laughter before he rolled onto his side, his hands scrubbing over his face. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
Rebecca smiled and turned to face him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Come on, let’s go help your mum.”
They stood from the bed and Rebecca followed him down the stairs, her hand tucked into his as they approached the kitchen, where Ted’s mother stood unpacking a few bags. “Hey mama.”
“Oh good, sweetheart, can you grab the bag of oranges from the trunk?” Rebecca watched his mother lift her head to look in their direction, and she felt the butterflies take flight when her eyes found Rebecca’s. “Oh my. Teddy, you could’ve mentioned we had company.”
“Mama, this is Rebecca,” Ted said. “Rebecca, this is my mama, Magnolia.”
His mother brushed off her hands and stepped forward, her hand extended out towards Rebecca, which she accepted quickly. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Lasso.”
“Please, call me Maggie. The only people who call me Magnolia don’t know me,” she told her. “I’ve heard a lot about you, young lady. Teddy here can’t seem to stop talkin’ about you every night at dinner.”
“It’s not every night,” he mumbled. “Is the car still unlocked?”
Maggie nodded. “Yes dear. The oranges are in the back seat and there’s some of Papa’s soda in the trunk. You can just leave that in there, I’ll take it over there tomorrow.”
Ted saluted her before he headed out for the car and Rebecca stepped over to help Maggie continue to unpack the bags. They stood in silence for a moment before Maggie spoke again. “So, Ted tells me you’re visiting from London?”
Rebecca nodded now, carrying a pack of cheese towards the refrigerator. “My father has a friend who owns the house we’re staying in. And my mother thought it would be a nice way to spend the summer before I start at uni, but honestly I haven’t spent much time with them.”
“Why’s that?” Maggie asked, storing a few bags of potato chips in a higher cabinet. Rebecca noticed immediately how effortlessly beautiful she was, her long brown hair threaded in a loose braid that hung over her shoulder, and piercing hazel eyes that looked identical to Ted’s. But none of their other features really seemed to match, and she wondered just how much Ted looked like his father.
“It’s complicated,” she answered. “My parents and I don’t really get along much anymore.”
Maggie nodded. “I had a pretty complicated relationship with my parents too. I moved out when I turned eighteen and didn’t go back until I had Teddy. My mama was devastated that she missed out on so much of my life, but she loved that boy with all of her heart right up until the day she passed. And every single day, I regret the time I missed with them, but I can’t go back and change that now.”
Rebecca looked down at her hands now, picking at her thumb as a nervous habit. “I wish I could forgive my father,” she admitted. “But every time I think about what he did, and the position he put me in, I just get even angrier than I already was.”
“Have you talked to him about what’s makin’ you upset?”
She laughed, and she hadn’t realized she had started crying. “No, it’s- My father isn’t much for words. And he’s really not much for admitting to his mistakes. I’m sure if I said something, he would just make me feel like it was my fault.”
Maggie stood across from her now, her posture mirrored to match Rebecca’s. “Was it?”
Rebecca shook her head, sniffling and wiping beneath her eyes. “No.”
“Then don’t take the blame,” she said softly. “He’s an adult, and if he can’t own up to his own choices, it’s not your responsibility to take on that burden.”
The door that Ted had exited through earlier opened now and he stepped back inside, but he stopped short when he realized Rebecca was crying. “Everythin’ alright?”
Rebecca nodded and Maggie moved from where she was standing. “I’m gonna run upstairs and change. Teddy’s grandparents are stayin’ at their new place tonight, so Rebecca, if you wanna stay for dinner, you’re more than welcome. We’re havin’ pizza.”
“Thank you, Maggie,” she replied. “I’d love to.”
Maggie disappeared up the stairs and Ted pulled Rebecca into a hug. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck and breathed him in for a few minutes. “You okay?” he asked softly.
She nodded against him before she pulled back. “I am. Your mum is rather wonderful, you know.”
Ted shrugged and smiled. “She’s alright.”
“I heard that,” Maggie said as she entered the kitchen again. “Alright, do we want pepperoni? Or cheese? Or one of each?”
“One of each,” they ordered in unison.
Maggie smiled and reached for the cordless phone, searching for a menu in a drawer. “One of each it is,” she replied. “And maybe after dinner, you two can explain to me why Rebecca came from upstairs wearin’ Teddy’s favorite shirt?”
“Oh mama,” Ted groaned and Rebecca kissed his temple before she wrapped her arms around his waist again, Maggie’s laughter filling the kitchen around them.
July 12th
She stared up at the giant metal wheel against the backdrop of the night sky. The stars were vibrant despite the fact that they were surrounded by an array of neon lights, and she swallowed hard when the ride started to spin slowly, rotating for just a moment before it stopped again. The cars swung back and forth as a couple stepped out at the bottom and another couple replaced them, and then the ferris wheel was moving again.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Ted asked beside her, his hand squeezing around hers. “Because we can always try somethin’ else.”
Rebecca shook her head. “No, I want to do this. I promise. I just, I’m not very good with heights.”
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Then let’s get outta this line and go win you a stuffed animal instead.” Ted tugged at her hand and took one step to his right but she pulled him back.
“No,” she answered. “This summer was supposed to be about facing my fears and doing things I don’t do and this is one of them. Besides, it will just be one time around and then it’s done, right? How hard can that be?”
“Well, actually, once the cars have all been changed out, they’ll send us around four or five times, so you get your money’s worth,” Ted replied. “But look, you say the word and I’ll make sure the guy stops us after the first go-round. We’ll tell ‘em you’re feelin’ a little sick or dizzy. They ain’t gonna risk havin’ to clean up after ya.”
Rebecca smiled and looked back up at the ferris wheel now, watching as it rotated slowly without stopping. She felt a pit of nerves in her stomach take form the longer she watched, and the closer they got to the front as they started another set of car changes. Suddenly, they were next in line and Ted was leading her into one of the little rocking metal cars, letting her slide in first before he followed behind and pulled the belt tight across their laps. She flinched when the wheel started to move them backwards, her hand immediately finding Ted’s so she could hold on tight.
She closed her eyes and took very deep breaths to calm herself down, a method Sassy had taught her shortly after they had walked in on her father cheating. She used it more than she cared to admit, and she rarely told anyone when she felt the panic set in, afraid they might try to decipher exactly what was causing it.
She felt Ted’s thumb brush across her knuckles as they climbed higher, and his lips pressed against her cheek before he spoke. “I’ve got you, baby,” he whispered. “I’m right here.”
When she finally opened her eyes again, she was met with the most breathtaking view of the ocean. The moonlight and the neon were reflecting off the waves, and the stars hung like a blanket in the sky. She moved quickly to reach for her bag, but gasped when the car started to rock back and forth, and she froze in place. “Shit,” she mumbled.
“Let me help you,” Ted replied beside her before he leaned forward slowly, making it a point to keep the car as steady as possible. He set her bag in her lap and she carefully reached inside to retrieve her disposable camera. She aimed it out towards the ocean, her eye focused on making sure the moon was the focal point, and she smiled when she felt Ted’s chin settle comfortably against her shoulder. After she pressed the shutter, she turned the camera around and faced it towards her and Ted.
“Smile,” she said and she felt his lips against her cheek again just as she pressed the button once more, her mouth open in a laugh when she released it. She slid the camera back into her bag and then rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Ted pressed a kiss to her hair before he leaned his own head against hers. “For what?”
“For being so wonderful,” she replied. “And for giving me the best summer of my life.” She felt him lean away now, the absence of his touch noticeable, and she peeked up at him to find him smiling at her. “What?”
“I love you, Rebecca.”
Rebecca felt the tears sting in the corners of her eyes at his words. It was a feeling she had known for weeks now, a feeling she had felt in the deepest parts of her heart for him. But she had been too scared to say anything, too afraid to truly admit how she felt with the knowledge that the end of their summer together was inching closer.
But now, hearing the words from him, she didn’t seem to care about the last week of August. She didn’t care about Cambridge or returning to London.
All she cared about was Ted.
“I love you too,” she replied quietly.
He leaned in slowly, his hand coming up to tangle in her hair before he pulled her in and kissed her. On the surface, it felt like so many of the kisses they had shared before. It was soft, sweet, and gentle. She appreciated how patient Ted always was with her. But underneath the surface, it felt like sparks of electricity were trying to ignite in her veins. It was another fear conquered, an admission of her feelings instead of keeping them bottled up.
She shifted forward towards Ted, and she felt the way his arm wrapped tight around her waist when the car jostled from their movement. She laughed against him before she rested her forehead on his, her thumb brushing back and forth across his cheek. “Perhaps we should save this for when we’re on solid ground.”
“Honey, I’ll kiss you whenever you want me to. Just say the word.”
Rebecca leaned against his shoulder again as the wheel continued to move, their hands threaded together in her lap while they sat in silence. She watched the moon continue to shine on the water, and watched the way the stars shimmered against the night sky. She listened to the sound of life and laughter around them, and she listened to the sound of Ted’s steady breathing. And when she let her eyes slip closed for just a moment on their last go-round in their car, she dreamed of a time where they recreated this exact moment a few years down the road.
A dream she could only hope would become a reality.
July 15th
“I hope you know I’m going to be absolutely terrible at this.”
Ted looked up at her from his seat where he was tying the laces of his borrowed bowling shoes. “Hey, that’s alright. That just means you get to buy dinner later,” he said with a wink and she rolled her eyes before she laughed.
The pins set themselves at the very end of the lane they were renting, the lights flickering behind them, and Rebecca took a deep breath before she approached the neon pink bowling ball she had chosen from the racks that ran the length of the alley. She stood near the ball return, the bowling ball cradled in her right hand before she stepped forward, poised to launch the ball down the lane. When she let it go, she watched it roll haphazardly towards the pins, knocking down two before tipping into the gutter.
She huffed and turned around, waiting for her ball to come back up the return. Ted was leaned back against the automatic scorer, his arms crossed at his chest, a wide smile on his face. “Shut up.”
He chuckled. “I’m not sayin’ anythin’.”
Rebecca took the pink ball in her hands again and made the same approach, and took the same steps towards the lane. She let the ball go and it fell with a thump before it tipped into the gutter once again, slowly rolling to the end. “Fuck,” she whispered as she walked back and stood beside Ted. “I assume you’re also really fucking good at bowling then?”
Ted shrugged his shoulders and stepped up to the ball return, taking the one he had chosen in his hands. “I wouldn’t say I’m really fucking good,” he said, his attempt to mimic her accent rather terrible. “But I have bowled quite a few times in my life.” He made a quick approach, the ball rolling smoothly out of his left hand and down the lane, until it knocked down all ten pins in one try.
She kept a tight smile when he walked back, a hand curling around her hip to pull her in close. “I hate you,” she mumbled.
“You love me,” he told her before he leaned in to kiss her softly.
Rebecca smiled now, a grin stretched across her entire face. “You’re right, I do.” She leaned in for another kiss before she pulled away and reached for the bowling ball to take her next roll. They alternated between bowling and kissing for the entire ten frames, Ted beating her 145 to 92. They decided to eat in the little snack area once they were done and had turned in their rented shoes, ordering cheeseburgers and french fries and Diet Cokes to enjoy at a little table that looked like it was as old as the bowling alley itself.
“Y’know,” Ted said after he finished chewing a mouthful of fries. “If we needed to have ‘em turn on the bumpers, we coulda just asked.”
Rebecca threw a fry across the table at him, and he chuckled as it bounced off his chest and onto his lap. “You’re a complete arse,” she told him.
He smiled at her. “Say that again.”
“What?” She asked. “Arse?”
Ted nodded like an excited child. “Sounds exotic.”
Rebecca laughed now, wiping her hands on a napkin. “My accent is anything but exotic, Ted. Your accent, however, would probably shock some of my friends right out of their skin.”
“You tryin’ to tell me your friends wouldn’t choose a trip to the great state of Kansas if given the option?” He asked, taking a drink of his soda.
She shook her head. “Although Sassy might after she finds out that’s where you’re from.”
He smiled and took a bite of his cheeseburger. “Rebecca, I gotta thank you for doin’ all of this with me this summer. I thought I’d just be spendin’ three months packin’ up a house full of memories but instead I’m makin’ a whole bunch of my own.”
“This has been the best summer of my life,” she told him. “Honestly, I thought I was going to spend three months feeling absolutely miserable, so your father’s summer bucket list has been perfect.”
“Anythin’ you wanna add yet?”
Rebecca shook her head again. “Unless you can figure out how to postpone my flight next month,” she said quietly.
He gave her a sad smile, and she frowned when she noticed. “There’s been a few nights where I’ve been layin’ in bed, wonderin’ what might happen if I took that flight back with ya. Spend six months wanderin’ around Europe before I start school.”
She reached for a fry from his side now, and she smiled when he pushed the paper container towards her. “So what’s stopping you?”
Ted huffed out a laugh before he sipped the last of his soda. “I’m not sure I could leave my mama alone for that long. We, uh, my dad died in the fall and it hasn’t even been two years yet. I’m afraid of what bein’ alone with her thoughts might do.”
Rebecca frowned, but she understood his reasoning. She didn’t know what it was like to lose a parent, and she couldn’t even fathom the pain Ted or his mother felt every single day. “Well, if you ever need a safe place across the ocean, you’ll always have me. I’d welcome you any day of the week.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he told her. “Hey, maybe we can be pen pals when you head back to London? It might be pretty cool to have an international friend to write letters to.”
She bit back a smile now, her nails tapping lightly against the styrofoam cup that held her Diet Coke. “An international friend, Ted?” She questioned. “Is that all I am to you?”
Ted laughed now, ducking his head down before he looked back up at her. “Sweetheart, you know you are so much more than that.”
“I think having a pen pal would be fun,” she told him. “To be honest, I’m not sure I’d handle it very well if I lost this connection we have so suddenly.”
He held up his empty cup towards her. “Amen to that, baby. Here’s to us never losin’ what we’ve got, even when we’re separated by an ocean and time zones.”
Rebecca lifted her cup to meet his in the middle. “To us.”
And even if she knew the chances they could keep in touch were slim, that life would most likely get in the way and they’d move in different directions, she let herself believe, for just that moment, that they’d be in each other’s lives for years and years.
July 18th
Rebecca laid a towel out on the sand, dropping her bag beside it as she removed the Wichita State shirt from her body before she sat down. She pulled a bottle of sunscreen from her bag and applied it to every inch of skin before she switched the bottle out for her stationery and pens. Ted was away for the weekend, with his mother and grandparents at their new house to start painting and slowly unpacking a few things that had already been moved. She laid out across the towel, her sunglasses across her eyes, and she started her letter to Sassy.
Dear Sass,
I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write again. It feels so weird to know I haven’t seen you in nearly two months now. Give my love to your parents please, I can’t wait to come see everyone when I’m back.
How are things going in London? I hope you’ve been able to enjoy your summer like I have. Since I wrote last, we’ve gone line dancing, watched fireworks, we rode on a ferris wheel (I only slightly freaked out) and we went bowling. I was fucking terrible, but it was so much fun. We’ve had a few more trips to get ice cream together as well, and breakfast a couple of times.
Oh, I met his mum! She’s so sweet, despite catching me in his shirt in their home. And he’s met mum and dad, which was not something I had planned to happen. But when he showed up at the house before one of our dates, mum was there to answer the door. They were cordial with him, which was good I guess.
We’re going horseback riding this week, and then I think we’re planning to spend the weekend at the beach and in the ocean. I’m bloody terrified but Ted keeps reassuring me I’ll be okay. But if I’m stung by a jellyfish, just know I’ll never be the same.
I’m not sure I will be the same after this summer though, Sass. Ted is so wonderful and so kind and caring, and I know I always thought it was completely ridiculous for anyone to fall in love at such a young age, or ever really, but that’s exactly what’s happened here. And he told me he feels the same way and I’m really not looking forward to when we have to say our goodbyes.
I won’t keep rambling about Ted and I’m sure by now you’re rolling your eyes and laughing at me because Rebecca ‘Stinky’ Welton really did get her own version of Danny and Sandy in Australia. But I love you and I cannot wait to hug you when I’m home again.
Love,
Stink
PS. I’ve included a few pictures from my trip and I hope you enjoy them. And no, none of them include Ted, so you’ll just have to live in suspense a little while longer ;)
Rebecca reached into her bag to find a matching envelope before she folded up the paper and tucked the pictures inside. She slid the letter and pictures into the envelope and sealed it, before slipping it back into her bag. She started to flip through the rest of the photos she had developed the day before, a slideshow of highlights from her summer so far. There were pictures from their day spent playing mini-golf, from their time spent wandering around the gardens and the zoo. A picture of them laying under the stars making funny faces followed by another one from the night they watched the fireworks from the beach. She had taken a picture of Ted trying to learn a rather challenging line dance and then they had asked the dance instructor to take a picture of them together. Then there was the picture from the ferris wheel and the picture of the moon and water she had taken just moments before. She had asked for doubles of each and was planning to surprise Ted with his own set of pictures at the end of summer, when they had to say goodbye to one another, their future uncertain. She thought that maybe, even if they never crossed paths again, he could have the pictures as permanent memories of their time together.
She rolled onto her back now, the sun beating down on her stomach and thighs while she closed her eyes and tipped her head back. She let her mind wander, letting the sound of the waves crashing against the sand be her soundtrack while she reminisced on her summer so far. She was thinking about their night on the ferris wheel, and the cotton candy they had gone for once they were back on solid ground, when she felt the warmth of the sunshine vanish. It was as if someone was towering over her, blocking the sun from her entirely, and she had a momentary wave of panic wash over her.
“Hey hot stuff.”
Rebecca opened her eyes and found Ted standing there, smiling down at her. “You’re back early.”
Ted nodded and moved to sit down beside her on the towel. “Yeah, turns out my grandparents had plans with some of their new friends from their neighborhood, so they kicked us out. Mama asked me to hang some laundry out to dry and I saw you layin’ out here, thought I’d come say hi.”
“I’m glad you did,” she told him while she sat up. “How was your weekend?”
“It was alright. Their place is comin’ together real well now,” he told her. “Missed you though.”
Rebecca leaned in to kiss him, her hand tucked into his hair at the back of his head. “I missed you too,” she said when she pulled back.
He smiled and leaned in closer to press a kiss to her forehead. “May I just say that you are wearin’ the heck outta that bathing suit? Because you look damn beautiful, baby.”
She giggled and leaned back to lower herself down to the towel again, pulling Ted with her. “You’re very sweet,” she whispered.
“You got any plans tonight, sweet cheeks?”
Rebecca laughed now as his lips trailed down her jaw line, soft kisses being peppered over her throat. “Ah, unfortunately I do. I agreed to have dinner with my parents when I thought you would be gone until tomorrow.”
Ted huffed against her skin. “I guess that’ll teach me never to be gone for that long again.”
She reached up to push his hair back from his face. “Ted, they’re your family. You came here this summer to spend time with them. Besides, I promised I would make an effort with my parents and I plan to honor that.”
“Alright, well, what about tomorrow?” He asked. “Mama’s got somethin’ in the mornin’ so we won’t start work on the house until the afternoon. You wanna grab breakfast together?”
Rebecca nodded. “Breakfast is perfect.”
Ted smiled at her. “How much time you got before you gotta get ready for dinner?”
“I can be late,” she said with a laugh before Ted kissed her again and again, her laughter growing louder with each press of his lips. They stayed in their own bubble together even as the sun began its descent, until she knew it was way past time to head inside and get dressed for dinner.
They said goodbye for what was probably longer than necessary before Rebecca turned to head inside while Ted started back towards his house. But before she got far, his voice stopped her. “Nice shirt,” he said, a smirk on his face before he crossed through the sand and she headed inside and up to her room to change for dinner with her parents.
July 21st
“Alright, y’all, let’s head out.”
Rebecca held onto the reins as her horse, Esmerelda, started walking, following in line behind Ted on his horse, Chief, and they were off on the marked trail. She could hear the tour guide giving a history of the company and the trail they were following, but she wasn’t paying attention to what was being said. Instead she stayed distracted by the nature surrounding them: the tall blossomed trees with vibrant green leaves all around, providing much needed shade in the warm July heat, the birds chirping from branches overhead, and the sound of a nearby stream slowly trickling in the distance. She knew she was a long way from home, but her surroundings almost made her feel like she was back in London with her father, barely eight years old and riding a horse for the very first time.
She remembered it like it had happened only yesterday. Her father had woken her up early one Saturday morning in June, his weekends spent at home since the Premier League season had ended. When she had asked where they were going from the back seat of his car, he simply smiled in the rearview mirror and said, “You’ll see, darling.” She could feel the excitement coursing through her veins now just as it had back then, when they had arrived at Hyde Park for a private ride with a friend of her father’s.
She guessed maybe that day was the closest she had come to ever falling in love, the freedom and the way it felt to do something so new and exciting taking up residence in her heart. She had been riding recreationally ever since that day, begging her mother and father to drive her to lessons and camps until she was able to drive herself. It was something she did when she needed a break, when her real life got to be too much, when she stopped being able to look her father in the eye and she needed to get away.
Riding horses now, here with Ted, in a place she hadn’t known a thing about before they arrived, it all felt like home.
They continued on through their ride, and she started to watch the way Ted seemed to be taking in his surroundings as well. His head would turn from left to right, looking at trees and little critters running amuck, before he’d throw a quick glance over his shoulder at her. Every look sent a chill down her spine, her stomach flipping when he would smile at her before he faced forward again. The trail made a large loop around the grounds and when their hour was up, they ended back at the stables. Rebecca dismounted from her horse easily and when she looked over at Ted, she found him staring at her.
“Are you just naturally good at everythin’ you try?” He asked and she laughed as she handed the reins off to one of the handlers before she and Ted started for the car.
“I’ve actually been riding for ten years now,” she admitted as they thanked the staff they passed before they climbed back into the truck. “Besides taking pictures, it’s my favorite hobby.”
Ted started the truck and they rolled the windows down. “Was it a family thing? Or somethin’ you guys did in school?”
She smiled as she leaned over and turned the radio on, the volume low. “Neither, really. My father woke me up one morning and told me he had a surprise for me. I was eight, so naturally I would have been excited to go almost anywhere, especially with him. But when we arrived at Hyde Park to ride horses? It was the best day of my life.”
“You can tell me to piss off if you want after I ask this, but were you and your dad close before the cheating?”
“He was my best friend,” she spoke softly. “We didn’t always get a lot of time together during football season, but he always made time for me. Sometimes he’d leave the office early to get me from school and we’d go for ice cream, or we’d go to the zoo or even for a picnic on the Green. It was the cheating that changed everything, although I’ll never really know when that actually started. But I’ll always remember when I caught him.”
Ted’s hand slid across the bench seat to find hers, and he curled his fingers into her palm gently. “Rebecca, I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged, her eyes falling to her lap. “It’s so weird, because most days I just hate him. I hate him for what I had to witness and I hate that he’s hurting my mum and she doesn’t even know it. But there’s some days that I miss him, and it seems silly because I see him nearly every day, but that’s not the version of him I miss. I miss who my father was when I was younger.”
“When you didn’t know about his demons,” Ted replied quietly, and the tone of his voice caught her by surprise. She wondered what sort of demons Ted’s own father had, if he had any. She sometimes wished he talked about him more, but she knew there must have been a reason why he didn’t.
They drove without speaking for a while, Rebecca watching out the window as life passed them by. She wondered what it looked like in Kansas, the places Ted knew so well, the town he grew up in. She thought about what it might be like to visit one day, and what it might be like to show him around Richmond if the opportunity ever came. Maybe they’d go to a football match, sit in the owner’s box with her father and eat as many bags of crisps as they could manage. They could go to the National Gallery, see Tower Bridge and Big Ben, and maybe if she had the courage, they could take a ride on the London Eye.
Ted’s hand was still around hers and he pulled her attention with a quick squeeze while they continued down the highway. She smiled when she realized he was singing along to the song on the radio.
Her daddy says, "he ain't worth a lick"
When it comes to brains he got the short end of the stick"
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday
Rebecca giggled and leaned across the seat to kiss Ted’s cheek before she turned the radio up and he sang louder.
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
What's meant to be will always find a way
She's gonna marry that boy someday
When he stopped at a red light, only a few minutes from their houses, she slid all the way across the seat to kiss him again, her lips against his, until the car behind them honked their horn. He drove them back to his house, parking the car in the driveway before he led her around to the back. They pulled off their shoes at the edge of the sand and then Ted pulled her towards the water. He stopped where the waves hit the sand, the water washing over their bare feet as they stood there. It was quiet on their end of the beach, as the sun was setting and families were either inside or down on the boardwalk, and she felt Ted’s hand slide into hers as the sunlight continued to fade away.
“Dance with me?”
Rebecca nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck while his arms circled around her waist and they swayed together slowly, the waves rising and falling at their feet, the only noise coming from the water and the distant sound of music and laughter and shouting further down the beach. The sky was showing off tonight, perfectly blended streaks of purple and pink and orange across a fading canvas of blue, like someone had painted it just for them. It was the perfect background, the perfect setting with the perfect boy, and she knew she’d never forget it.
They danced with no music until the sun had set entirely, as if someone had suddenly swiped a paintbrush that had been dipped in navy blue paint across the sky. The cotton candy colors were replaced by thousands of little stars and when she pulled back to look at Ted, she could see the way they reflected off the deep brown color in his eyes. “Ted, I think I’d marry you someday,” she whispered, and she smiled when a wide grin appeared on his face.
“Well baby, like the great Trisha Yearwood says, what’s meant to be will always find a way,” he said before he leaned in to kiss her under the sparkling night sky.
She could only hope they would find a way.
July 25th
Rebecca rolled over and groaned when her eyes were hit with bright sunlight coming through her window. She knew based on the placement of the sun, it was nearly noon. It was the latest she had slept in since they had arrived, and she didn’t even feel bad about it. She was tempted to spend the entire week here, hidden away in her room, only leaving for food if she was hungry enough. On cue, her stomach growled and in turn, she groaned into the pillow beneath her head. She had been trying to avoid her parents as much as possible, trying to dodge the questions she knew her mother would ask about why she had spent the last three days at home instead of out with Ted.
Because the truth was, she didn’t know where Ted was.
After they had finished dancing on the beach, they had made plans for Friday night. They had agreed to another chance at line dancing, before grabbing some ice cream and going back down to the beach for another bonfire. Rebecca had waited for an hour before she realized he wasn’t coming. She tried calling their house twice, but both times, it rang through to the answering machine. She left a message the first time, but not the second, and then she retreated to her room to cry herself to sleep. On Saturday morning, she tried calling again, and after no answer on three straight calls, she decided to walk down and try the doorbell.
But there was still no answer.
And the truck was gone.
Rebecca had a sinking feeling in her gut on her short walk back, and she went straight up to her bedroom, ignoring her mother’s questions from her spot at the kitchen island. She crawled back into bed, under the covers, and stayed there until late afternoon. When she finally made her way downstairs, she noticed there was a note on the counter, and when she got closer, she realized it was her mother’s handwriting.
Sausage,
Your father and I have gone out for the evening, but I’ve left some money for you in case you want to order food. Or go straight for the dessert, that always helps a broken heart 💗 We’ll see you tonight.
Mum
She grabbed the cash and headed out the front door, locking up behind her. She headed towards the boardwalk, figuring she could at least have some good food to eat while she sulked. As she walked the now-very familiar path, her mind wandered to Ted, despite not wanting to think about him at all. She wondered where he was, wondered what had pulled him and his mother away so suddenly, he didn’t have a chance to say anything. They had been so happy on the beach just a few days ago, or at least she thought they were, and she hoped nothing had changed for him.
Rebecca made her way to the diner and ordered a cheeseburger and fries and the biggest Diet Coke they could offer, and after she caught Rebecca eyeing one of the triple fudge brownies with chocolate frosting while she waited, the older woman behind the counter placed one in her bag before she left. With her food in hand, she made her way back down the boardwalk, but she stopped just outside of the little flower shop. She had yet to stop in since being at the beach, and when she saw the fresh bouquets of sunflowers through the front glass, she decided to go in. She chose a bundle that still had a few buds left to bloom, and then finally made her way home. She spent her evening on the couch in the living room, flipping through channels on the television to find something to watch, eating her dinner and dessert. She had put the flowers in water in a vase she found in one of the cabinets and she set them up on the coffee table in front of her, the added pop of color already helping her mood.
When she had turned in for the night, she carried the vase upstairs with her and placed them on top of the short dresser across from her bed.
Before she left her room Sunday afternoon, she took in the scent of them slowly, and then headed downstairs.
“I wasn’t sure I’d be seeing you today,” her mother greeted from the large dining room table, a puzzle spread across the surface, her glasses perched on her nose. “Up too late last night, Sausage?”
Rebecca shook her head as she pulled open the refrigerator to retrieve the milk. “No.”
She carried it over to the counter and set it down as she reached up for a mug and the tea her mother had purchased. “Do you have plans with Ted today?”
Rebecca slammed the cabinet shut, and then set the mug forcefully down on the countertop. “Mum, please. I really do not want to do this right now.”
“Well, your father and I are not going to spend the rest of this vacation dealing with your mood, so either you talk to me or you fix whatever’s going on with you,” Deborah instructed, her voice even when she spoke, and it was her tone that snapped the rubberband that seemed to be holding Rebecca together. She felt tears spill over her cheeks freely, the sound of her sobs filling up the kitchen while her mother watched in silence. She wasn’t sure how long she had cried but suddenly her mother’s arms were wrapped around her, her head being cradled against her chest as she cried.
It reminded her of when she was a little girl, how she would so often seek out her mother in moments of weakness. How her mother would pull her fingers gently through her long blonde hair, reassuring her everything would be okay, that things always worked out in the end.
The older she got, the more she realized maybe things didn’t always work out.
“Rebecca, honey, come sit down with me,” Deborah said softly. “Talk to me.”
She wished more than anything that Sassy wasn’t so damn far away. She knew even just a few minutes being able to talk to her would make this easier, but she thought she should give her mother a chance. She let Deborah lead her over onto the couch, the same one she had spent most of the night before sitting on. She let her mother sit first before she laid down, her head in Deborah’s lap. Her fingers started to pull through her hair, and she felt the way her tears subsided.
“He hasn’t called,” Rebecca whispered. “And he’s not at home. We were supposed to go out on Friday but he stood me up.”
Deborah scratched lightly at her scalp, just the way she knew Rebecca loved. “Do you think there’s a good reason you haven’t heard from him?”
Rebecca shrugged. “Maybe. Perhaps something happened with his grandparents,” she reasoned.
“I think that seems reasonable,” her mother replied. “I know I don’t know much about Ted, but he hardly seems like the kind of boy who would leave you without saying goodbye.”
She laid with her mother, letting the silence cover them like a blanket, her head and her heart calming down with every passing minute. She closed her eyes for just a moment before she opened them again. “I love him, mum.”
Deborah smiled. “I know you do, Sausage. I was your age once.”
“I wish we didn’t have to leave next month,” she whispered, her eyes falling closed again. She felt tired, exhausted even, despite staying in bed most of the day. She heard Deborah say something about letters and keeping in touch, but she drifted off to sleep before she could understand what she was really saying. She slept with her head in her mother’s lap long enough that she dreamt of Ted, of a moment a few years down the road where they reunited in the same place they met on the beach. She thought maybe it was after they finished school and were bound for the real world, that this was the first thing they did to celebrate.
Rebecca was woken up by the sound of the doorbell, and the jostling of her mother trying to move without waking her. She lifted her head and when Deborah stood from the couch, Rebecca stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “I’ll get it, mum.”
She crossed the house towards the front door, and when she saw the outline of their visitor through the frosted glass, she felt her heart skip a beat. Rebecca pulled the door open quickly and found Ted on the other side, his hair disheveled and his eyes puffy and bloodshot. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his khaki shorts, and he was rocking back and forth on his feet. “Rebecca, I’m so sorry,” he whispered before she threw herself around him. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, her face buried into the crook of his neck. He wrapped his own arms around her just as securely, his palms flat against her back.
“I was so worried about you,” she whispered, and when he tried to step back, she kept him close, taking an extra minute to hug him.
Eventually she let him go, and she could see how exhausted he was the longer he stood in front of her. “I need to explain what happened because I never meant to leave you hangin’ like I did.”
Rebecca offered him her hand, which he accepted quickly, and she led him through the house towards the staircase. Deborah was back at the table now, her glasses back on her face, a puzzle piece in her hand. “It’s good to see you again, Ted,” she said from her seat.
“Hi Mrs. Welton,” he replied. “It’s nice to see you too.”
Rebecca led him up the stairs to her bedroom and she pulled him onto the bed, settling into the pillows while he laid right beside her. They faced each other, their hands joined on the mattress in the space between them, and she squeezed his hand gently before she spoke. “Are you alright?” she asked softly.
He let out a deep breath and she shifted a bit so her eyes were level with his. She reached forward with her free hand to push his hair back, and she saw the way his eyes softened at her touch. “Yesterday was my dad’s birthday,” he said quietly. “And it’s the first one we’ve spent away from home since he died.”
It was the first time he had confirmed her suspicion, and she wanted to wrap him up in her arms and hold him, but she waited, because she wanted him to keep talking if he felt he needed to. “I swear I never meant to leave you behind on Friday, Becca. I was all dressed and ready to come over here to pick you up, but then my mama called from my grandparent’s house in a panic. She thought bein’ there with them on his birthday would make it easier, but she asked me to come too. And Rebecca, I felt terrible. I was halfway there before I realized I had left your phone number on the kitchen counter. I wanted to call but I didn’t know how to reach you.”
“Ted,” she whispered and his eyes found hers. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “And I don’t need you to forgive me for a mistake I made. But I did need you to know what my reasons were for not showin’ up, and I promise you that’s never gonna happen again.”
She smiled. “But I do forgive you, because grief can be hard. When my grandmother passed away, I took my mum’s fabric shears into the bathroom and cut my hair. We managed to find a child’s sized black hat for me to wear for the funeral because my hair was so awful, and we couldn’t fix it before the gathering.”
Ted laughed before he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m gonna need to see pictures of that one day, I hope you know that.” He quieted again, and she moved closer to him, her hand coming up to cover the one he had rested on his stomach. Ted let out a shaky breath before he spoke again. “My dad, he uh,” he started and she reached up to wipe the tears that were already falling down his cheeks. “My dad killed himself when I was sixteen. He, um, he was a good guy. He always had some demons and I know my mama tried to help him as much as she could. But I guess that afternoon, he had just had enough.”
“Ted,” she breathed out and she hadn’t realized she had started crying too. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
She moved closer now, resting her head against his chest while she wrapped an arm around his waist. She could hear his heartbeat, could feel how quickly it was beating inside of him, and she wondered what he needed. She wondered what it took to calm his mind. “I remember it like it happened yesterday, and I know I’ll never forget the date. September 13th, 1991. It was a Friday, and y’know, Friday the 13th is always supposed to be spooky. I guess this one was no exception.” He paused for a moment before continuing his story. “I remember walkin’ into the house, ‘cause I was tryin’ to get some stuff together before I got to hang out with my friends. I ran up to my bedroom, because I wanted to change clothes, and I had just finished buttonin’ the jeans I had put on when I heard it. A gunshot, and y’know, a lot of people don’t always know a gunshot when they hear one, but growin’ up with my daddy and mama’s daddy, it’s hard not to recognize it. So I opened my door, and I stepped out into the hall, and I knew he was downstairs. I guess he didn’t hear me when I came in, but he was always in the den when I got home from school. When I got downstairs, and I found him, I cried. And then I screamed for a little bit before I went to the kitchen. I took one of his Coors Light’s outta the fridge and I drank it. And then I called my mama. I told her she needed to come home. I ain’t ever heard her cry as hard as I did that night.”
Rebecca forced herself not to react to the date Ted mentioned, certain that she must have misheard him. Because she remembered that day well.
Because at the same time, in her own house, she had walked in on her father cheating on her mother.
It wasn’t the same thing, and she knew that, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that somehow their lives were connected. That after having to go through their own pain, after learning to live with their own demons, they found happiness in one another. And at least for her, it was happiness that made her temporarily forget about the hurt she so often felt every time she looked at her father. They laid in silence together, Rebecca’s fingers dragging lightly over the fabric of Ted’s shirt, and when she noticed that his breathing had evened out, she peeked up at his face to find him asleep. She laid beside him and held him close, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear. She noticed after a while that her heartbeat had synced with his, two separate entities beating as if they were one.
She thought about the pain Ted had suffered at such a young and impressionable age. She wondered how it had changed him, just like her father’s affair had changed her. She couldn’t fathom the idea of losing a parent, the possibility of having to spend the rest of her life without her mother or father there. She knew she hadn’t been the easiest to deal with, but she still couldn’t imagine a life without them.
The sun was starting to set when Ted finally started to stir beneath her, and she smiled when she felt him lean forward to press a kiss to her hair. “How long was I out?” He asked, his voice groggy.
“About an hour,” she answered before she sat up and he followed. “I take it you didn’t get much sleep this weekend?”
Ted smiled and shook his head. “Nope. I feel bad fallin’ asleep on ya after unloadin’ all of that though.”
“Don’t feel bad,” she told him. “I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me.” He leaned in to kiss her now, and it was slow, just like how he always kissed her. It was a feeling she’d never forget, and never get over. “Do you have to get home?” she asked.
“Nah, Mama’s stayin’ with my grandparents for another night I think,” he answered. “All I’ve got to get home to is an empty house.”
Rebecca smiled. “Stay for dinner then? We could order pizza, or beg my mum to make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top.”
Ted smiled back and kissed her once more. “That sounds perfect.”
They crawled off of her bed and started for the door but Ted stopped her, tugging at her hand in his. When she turned around, his nose was buried in the sunflowers on her dresser. He was smiling when he pulled back, and there was so much warmth in his smile, and in his eyes, that it spread through her like a wildfire. “Just like home,” he said quietly before they made their way downstairs.
When they reached the main level, they found Deborah and Paul in the kitchen, Paul sliding a pan into the oven. “Would it be alright if Ted stayed for dinner?”
Her parents glanced over at Ted, who looked significantly better than he had when he first showed up, but still didn’t look like he usually did. “I think that would be wonderful,” Deborah said. “We’re having shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. And Paul brought home some ice cream from this adorable little place on the boardwalk.”
“Rocky road?” Ted and Rebecca asked at the same time, dissolving into laughter that filled the entire kitchen.
The four of them sat around the living room together while dinner was in the oven, and it was the first time in a long time Rebecca felt like a family with her parents. She watched the way Ted and her father bonded over sports, while Paul told him all about AFC Richmond and how the club had done last season. She watched Ted jump up from his seat when Deborah started for the kitchen, his offer to help her set the table making her smile from ear to ear. They gathered around the table to share their meal, sharing tales and laughs between bites until their plates were clear and their glasses were empty.
After the dishes were cleared, Rebecca led Ted outside onto the balcony and they sat side by side, chairs rocking as the sky lost the last of its color and the stars started to appear. He reached across the space between them and took her hand in his own, and he let them hang down, their fingers intertwined.
“Thank you for tonight,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t sure you’d forgive me after everythin’.”
She turned to face him, and she found him staring out at the water. “Ted, there was no reason to not forgive you.”
He turned towards her now, and she loved the way his eyes looked brighter, shinier under the moonlight. “You’re really special, Rebecca Welton. And I’m very happy I met you on the beach that afternoon.”
“I’m happy too,” she replied. “But there is something I need to confess.” She saw his face soften, the way his lips fell into a straight line instead of his signature smile. “Earlier, you told me that your father died on Friday, September 13th.”
He nodded. “1991, yeah. Why?”
“That’s the day I saw my father,” she whispered. “The day Sassy and I caught him. And for a moment, I thought maybe I had misheard you. Because what are the chances that we’d share that connection? But then I realized that’s how it was always supposed to be. You and I were always supposed to be connected.”
Ted smiled at her again, and he lifted their joined hands to his lips. “Becca, promise me somethin’. In four years, when we’re done with school and we’ve graduated, we’ll come back to this place. And even if it’s just for one night, we’ll see each other at least one more time. Because I gotta be honest with ya, I’m not sure I could deal with never seein’ you again.”
She shifted in her seat to hold up her pinky to him. “Pinky promise.”
He wrapped his pinky around hers and then leaned over to kiss her just as the door to the balcony opened. “Sorry to interrupt, I just thought I’d bring some ice cream out for you two.”
Paul handed over two bowls of rocky road, extra chocolate syrup on Rebecca’s, before he pressed a soft kiss to her hair and went back inside. They ate their ice cream quietly, the sound of the waves the soundtrack of their night. When they finished dessert, Ted’s hand found hers again and she smiled at how cold his fingers were. “I love you, Ted,” she said quietly.
“I love you too, Rebecca.”
July 28th
“I thought we were goin’ swimmin’,” Ted mumbled against her lips and she smiled in response.
“We will,” she told him. “Soon.”
They were in the kitchen together, making a poor attempt at gathering some snacks and drinks to take down to the poolside for the afternoon. Instead it had turned into endless kisses, which she thought maybe she preferred compared to time in the sunshine. But she knew it was expected to rain the rest of the week, so they needed to take advantage of the nice weather.
“Okay, come on,” she said softly, tapping against his hip bone so he’d step back. “Let’s go.”
Rebecca led him down the stairs and out to the back patio, where the sun was beating down on the swimming pool, so she knew the water would be the perfect temperature. They set their snacks and drinks in the shade and she pulled her slightly oversized Cambridge tee over her head to reveal her one piece bathing suit, the fabric her favorite shade of pink, before she dove in. She heard another splash of water just before she broke the surface and when she pushed her head above water, she saw Ted across the pool. She pushed her hair back from her face before she swam over, smiling when he appeared again.
And that’s when it caught her eye.
“You have a tattoo,” she blurted out, and Ted looked down like he had forgotten it was there. Thin, black lines traced in a floral pattern around much of the left side of his chest. There was a large flower in the center, the focal point of the piece, and it was surrounded by smaller buds and leaves. There was no additional color, and she was overcome with emotion by how simple and how powerful the piece seemed.
“Ah, yeah,” he answered. “I got it after my dad passed. It’s in honor of my mom, actually.”
Rebecca smiled as she stepped even closer, realization dawning on her. “It’s a magnolia.”
Ted nodded slowly, his eyes focused on Rebecca’s finger as she reached out to trace the lines. “It actually started as a project in my art class my junior year of high school. The only instruction we had was to draw somethin’ that represented someone we were closest to. So of course, my first thought was mama, and I was scourin’ books and old magazines and newspapers for anythin’ I might be able to use, but nothin’ really felt good enough. And then it hit me to just use her namesake. I found some books at the library with pictures of magnolias and this is what I drew myself. I got an A on the project and then got mama’s permission to get the tattoo.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said quietly, as she gently traced the entirety of the ink. “Do you ever have the urge to grab a marker and color it in?”
Ted laughed and shook his head. “I have not, no. Is that what you wanna do right now?”
Rebecca giggled. “Maybe not right this second, but some day, I will.” She continued to drag her finger across his skin and she smiled when she felt his hands slide around her waist to hold her close. “Did it hurt?”
“Oh hell yeah,” he answered and she laughed. “But it was worth it. Mama cried when she saw it for the first time. It had been nearly a year of cryin’ by then, but that night, it was a good cry. It almost felt like it was the first step in our healin’ in some way, as crazy as that sounds.”
She shook her head as she slid her hand over his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely. “It’s not crazy. Everyone heals in different ways, and this beautiful dedication to your mother was yours.”
Ted leaned in to kiss her slowly, and he pulled her closer until her body was flush against his. They had been tiptoeing towards more intimate moments as each day passed them by, and it was terrifying in her mind. As comfortable and loved as she felt with Ted, she still felt nervous about the idea of giving all of herself to him, knowing that their time together eventually had to come to an end. But she also couldn’t imagine sharing her first time with anyone else besides Ted, like there was no way she’d ever trust someone the way she trusted him.
“You know what I think?” Ted asked as he started to float away from her, the sun shining down against his inked magnolia bloom.
She smiled. “What’s that?”
“I think you would look so damn good with a tattoo,” he replied. “Not that you don’t already look good. I mean, that color pink was pretty much made for ya. But I think a tattoo would suit you.”
Rebecca followed him as he floated around the pool. “And if I were to get something, what would it be?”
“A sunflower,” he answered simply. “So anytime you look down at it, it’ll put a smile on your face. It’ll remind you of this summer-”
“And it’ll remind me of you,” she finished.
Ted smiled. “Yeah, that too.”
“Okay, so hypothetically, if I were to get this tattoo, I would get it while I’m still here?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”
She smiled. “And you’ll come with me to watch?”
“I think I could make sure that happens, yeah.”
“Will you hold my hand?” she asked.
Ted laughed. “Honey, I’ll hold anythin’ you need me to hold. Just tell me when you wanna go and we’ll do it.”
“It’s a date,” she told him before she let herself float away, the sunshine warm on her bare shoulders. She hadn’t made use of their swimming pool like she had hoped, but at least it was for good reason. She hadn’t spent much time at the house at all this summer, and she was perfectly fine with it.
Rebecca made her way over to the edge of the pool and she folded her arms against the concrete as she stared out at the ocean. When her mother told her they’d be spending the summer in South Carolina, she felt nothing but anger. She couldn’t believe her parents had managed to ruin what was supposed to be the best summer of her life. But then it ended up being even more than she ever could have imagined, and it wasn’t even over yet.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Ted’s arms snaking around her waist and his chin hooking over her shoulder. “You’ve got somethin’ on your mind,” he whispered before his lips kissed the shell of her ear. “Wanna share with the class?”
She smiled. “I was thinking about how I was absolutely dreading even coming here. I thought this was going to be just an awful summer.”
“I think in some way, I was dreadin’ this summer too,” Ted replied. “I knew it was gonna bring back a lotta memories I wasn’t quite ready to face yet. That bucket list we’re workin’ on? You know it was my dad’s but there’s a few things on there that he and I used to do together when we’d come out here to visit. Things I never thought I’d do again, but then you came along, and you made everythin’ easier.”
It was already hot outside, but the warmth of Ted’s bare chest pressed to her bare back sent a ripple of heat through her bloodstream. It certainly didn’t help that he was peppering her skin with kisses as they stood there while his fingers brushed back and forth over her covered stomach. “Ted,” she breathed and she heard him hum as much as she felt him. “What are you doing?”
“Admirin’ you,” he replied simply. “Memorizin’ you.”
She smiled. “You know my parents can probably see you, right?”
He backed off and moved to stand next to her now, his arms crossed against the concrete like hers. “Honestly, I kinda forgot about anyone else for a minute,” he said before he kissed her arm. She giggled at the touch of his mustache to her skin. “So there’s somethin’ I wanna propose to you.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “What is it?”
“Obviously, you can say no to this,” he said immediately. “I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way and it’s important that you’re comfortable.”
Rebecca nodded. “Okay. Are you going to tell me what this is?”
Ted let out a deep breath before he replied. “I think- Well, what I was thinkin’ is- Shoot, this was a whole lot easier in my head.”
She rested her hand on his upper arm, giving him a slight squeeze. “Ted, whatever it is, you can say it.”
“I think we should have sex.”
His voice was so soft and rushed, and she could hear the slight hesitancy in his words. When she looked over at him, she noticed he was staring forward, like he was too scared to see her reaction. “But if you don’t want to, I’ll understand,” he added, and his vulnerability nearly broke her heart.
She hugged his arm now, invading his space to rest her head against his shoulder, her eyes faced in the same direction as his. “I do want to,” she whispered. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d ever trust like I trust you.”
Ted turned to face her now, and he dropped a kiss to her forehead. “That’s how I feel about you. It’s not somethin’ I’ve ever done either, and as cliche as I’m about to sound, I think there was a reason it hasn’t happened before. For both of us.”
“You’re right, that is cliche,” she teased. “But I also think it’s the truth.”
“Although if it’s bad, that’s really gonna suck,” Ted said, and she could tell he wasn’t as nervous anymore. “Because we’ve still got what, a month or so on the same beach? And that might be awkward if the sex is no good.”
Rebecca laughed and pulled away now. “I think even if it’s bad, it’ll still be good because it’s with you.” She started to walk backwards towards the stairs of the pool now and Ted followed her.
“Oh, and now who’s bein’ a cliche?” He asked before he crowded her space as they took the stairs up towards their clothes and snacks.
Rebecca wrapped herself in a towel before she sat down on one of the lounge chairs and Ted handed her one of the chilled Diet Cokes they had brought down before he sat across from her. “My parents are taking a day trip this weekend,” she said softly. “On Saturday, they’re driving to Charleston together. Apparently my father’s friend, the one who owns the house, says it’s a must-see while we’re here and so they’ve planned a few things. They don’t expect to be back until nearly midnight.”
Ted smiled. “Saturday it is,” he told her. “Y’know I think it’s supposed to rain all day.”
“Even better,” she replied.
July 31st
Rebecca wasn’t able to sleep at all Friday night into Saturday. She laid awake staring at the ceiling, her mind running so fast she couldn’t catch up. When she grew tired of staring blankly, tired of trying to force sleep to find her, she pulled her AFC Richmond hoodie on and headed downstairs and out to the balcony. She figured if she was going to be awake, she could at least watch the sun rise over the ocean before she started her day. She took one of her cameras with her to capture a few pictures before she sat in the wooden rocking chair and let the sound of the waves calm her. It hadn’t started to rain yet, but she could see some of the clouds lingering in the distance.
She was nervous about her day with Ted. She hadn’t stopped thinking about his proposal since their day in the pool, and with each passing moment, it felt like her nerves multiplied by a hundred. She found herself again wishing Sassy was here, knowing no matter how much teasing she would have to endure, her friend would still have the advice she was searching for. Rebecca had briefly considered bringing up the topic with her mother, but she quickly pushed that thought aside, unsure she wanted to trust her with something so important and she really didn’t need Deborah looking at her or Ted differently for the rest of the summer.
The sun had just fully climbed over the horizon when she heard the door open behind her. Rebecca turned to her left and found her mother sitting down in the chair beside her. “Good morning, mum.”
“Good morning, Sausage,” Deborah replied. “Is everything okay?”
Rebecca nodded. “I was just having trouble sleeping. I thought maybe watching the sunrise would be nice.”
Deborah smiled at her. “And you promise you’ll be alright today while we’re gone?”
“I promise,” she told her mother. “I think Ted’s going to come over later if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine, sweetheart. It makes me feel better knowing you’re not here alone.”
She had questioned their decision to go to Charleston without her when Deborah had originally informed her of their plan. She found it almost comical that her parents had both claimed this was to be a family vacation, but she was being left behind for their day trip to a new city. And then her mother explained that it was her father’s idea, a suggestion for them to go together with the assurance that he had done all of the planning. Rebecca wondered if it was him trying to make up for a truth her mother didn’t even know, or if it was just him trying to turn things around.
Either way, she found herself hoping it would work.
“Speaking of,” her mother started. “Your father and I decided to book a room to stay in tonight, instead of driving back in the rain. With us not knowing this area very well, we thought it might be silly to risk it.”
Rebecca smiled. “That’s probably wise. Dad hates driving when it’s sunny out let alone when it’s raining.”
Paul laughed behind them. “I do not hate driving.”
“Oh sweetheart, you’re not fooling anyone,” Deborah said and all three of them laughed together. It felt nice to have moments like this with her parents again, like maybe this summer was just as good for them as it was for her.
“Darling, we should get going,” her father announced and Deborah stood from her chair, Rebecca following behind her. They said their goodbyes at the front door and Rebecca watched them drive away before she made her way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. It was still early, barely even seven in the morning, and she wasn’t expecting to see Ted until almost noon. She made herself some breakfast and then found the book she had left in the living room the night before so she could set up at the dining table to eat. She did whatever she could to keep her mind occupied, to make sure she didn’t spiral out over thoughts of her and Ted taking such a monumental step together.
After deciding to take a shower, she cleaned up her bedroom and bathroom and then moved to the main level, making sure the house looked presentable. She knew it ultimately wasn’t necessary, that Ted wouldn’t think any less of a little mess, but it kept her calm. She was just putting away the last of the clean dishes when the doorbell rang. Rebecca took a deep breath before she walked to the front door, butterflies taking flight when she pulled it open to find Ted on the other side, a small vase of flowers in his hands. “Hey,” she whispered.
“Hey yourself,” he replied as he stepped inside, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he passed. He carried the vase into the kitchen, sliding them to the middle of the countertop. It was a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers, a mixture of colors that all worked so well together. After his hands were free, he pulled her in close so he could kiss her properly, his lips slotting against hers like two pieces of a puzzle. He backed her up until her hips met the edge of the counter and she opened her mouth to him, allowing for his tongue to explore and find the places he knew she loved the most. She let her hands slip beneath the hem of his shirt, her fingertips finding the warmth of his skin quickly. When he pulled away, she kept her hands pressed against his back to keep him close.
“I missed you,” she said softly and she watched the smile bloom on his face.
Ted leaned in to kiss her quickly. “I missed you too, baby. How was your mornin’? I didn’t see ya durin’ my run.”
Rebecca frowned. “I was up pretty early this morning,” she replied. “After I saw my parents off, I cleaned up most of the house.”
“What had ya up so early?” He asked.
“Nerves,” she admitted.
He reached up to brush a piece of hair away from her face. “Talk to me, Becca.”
She pulled her hands out from under his shirt and threaded her fingers through his before she led him towards the couch so they could sit together. “I’m nervous because this is a big step. And I know I’ve given you nearly every single part of me but once we have sex, you’ll have every piece of me, and that’s terrifying. Because I trust that you’ll never hurt me intentionally, but the truth is that I leave next month. In less than thirty days, I’ll be back in London getting my things ready to move to Uni and you’ll still be here.”
“Are you havin’ second thoughts?” He asked quietly.
“No,” she admitted truthfully. “Because as much as it hurts knowing I have to leave, it helps knowing that you’ll be the one walking around with my whole heart. Like no matter what happens after this summer, you’ll always be the first man I loved. And I think crossing this line together is exactly what needs to happen. Ted, I’ve never felt as safe with anyone like I do with you. And maybe sex for the first time isn’t supposed to be as special as I’m imagining it, but who’s to say? I want my first time to be special and I want it to be with you, as long as your offer still stands.”
Ted smiled at her and lifted their joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “You know it does, baby. And the nerves? I get it. I mean, I wish you coulda seen me at the store last night, tryin’ to be cool about buyin’ a box of condoms. They don’t tell ya in sex ed how damn nerve wracking it is to hafta buy those!”
Rebecca couldn’t hold in her laughter as she doubled over towards Ted, and his arms wrapped around her quickly, holding her until she calmed down. He lowered himself down onto the couch and she followed, her head rested against his chest while he pulled his fingers through her hair. “I think it’s perfectly fine to want your first time to be special,” he said now. “And for the record, if you trust me to hold onto your whole heart, I’ll make sure to protect it. Even if there’s more than four thousand miles between us, that’s not gonna change the way I feel about you.”
“I’ve had this image in my head of how my first time was always supposed to go,” she said quietly. “And sometimes I think that’s why I never allowed myself to just let go and have sex with some guy I barely even knew like Sassy suggested. I was never thinking I’d save myself for marriage, but I did always think I’d save myself for the right person. But when I caught my father cheating, I sort of gave up on ever giving myself away. I think the idea of allowing someone to know the most intimate parts of me while knowing that they could just break my heart and choose someone else without hesitation scared the hell out of me.”
He leaned in to kiss her forehead. “I know we’re gonna stop bein’ able to see each other after next month, but I gotta tell ya Rebecca, I’m havin’ a hard time imaginin’ myself ever choosin’ someone else. I know we’re young and we’ve both got new chapters ahead where we’re gonna meet new people and have new experiences, but the way I feel about you reminds me a lot of the way my dad used to talk about my mama. And I think for a while, I was worried about ever findin’ a love like that, because I saw how broken my mama was after my dad died. I couldn’t imagine leavin’ someone behind with so much pain and sorrow.”
“Sorry I ruined your plans,” she said with a wink and he smiled. “Except I’m not sorry at all.”
“I’m not sorry either.”
Rebecca lifted her head to prop her chin against his chest. “Did you mean what you said? About us meeting here after graduation?”
Ted nodded once. “Heck yeah, I think it’d be pretty cool, don’t you? Meetin’ up after all of that time apart, bein’ able to tell each other stories about our lives in the same place we first met. They’re gonna have to make a movie about our story one day, you know that?”
She giggled and laid her head back down, his heartbeat echoing in her ear. “The girl from London and the boy from Kansas. It’ll be my new favorite movie.” Rebecca laid still, the comfortable silence settling around them, and she smiled when she felt Ted’s fingertips dragging lightly up and down her back. Every time they reached the hem of her shirt, they pushed the fabric up just a little bit higher, exposing her bare skin to the pads of his fingers. It wasn’t long before his hand was completely beneath the fabric, her fingers brushing over the clasp of her bra. “Ted,” she whispered and she heard him hum. “Do you want to head upstairs?”
“No,” he whispered back. “Just lay here with me for a while, yeah?”
And so she did. She let him continue to brush his fingers all over her back until the movement and the sound of rain outside lulled her to sleep. It was the first time her mind had felt calm since their day in the pool, the first time she didn’t have an issue falling asleep all week. It felt comfortable and safe to be in his arms, and she knew moments like this with him held just as much intimacy as anything else they might do later that night.
When she woke up, she peeked up at Ted, who had fallen asleep beneath her, his hand flat against her back. It reminded her of the weekend before, when he had fallen asleep on her after a tough weekend, and how peaceful he had looked then. There was a similar look on his face now, a look that told her he was content and she refused to risk waking him. Rebecca stayed still, her ear pressed to his chest so she could hear his heartbeat while he slept. She listened to the steady sound, an attempt to memorize the beat so she could replay it in her mind when she was back in London. It was a sound she wished she had the ability to bottle up, a supply for her to dig into when she needed it most.
Her first clue that he was awake was when his fingers started to creep up her back again, over the clasp of her bra to land against her shoulder blades. The movement had lifted her shirt almost entirely up her body, and she found herself desperate to have her skin pressed to his. She felt a heat on her skin that could only be attributed to his gentle touch, the room around them cold from the air conditioning. She wanted to know what it would feel like to have his fingertips touch every inch of her, even though she knew his touch was going to haunt her for the rest of her life.
“Maybe we should go upstairs now,” he whispered and she crawled off of him to stand up, holding her hand out for him. Rebecca led him up the stairs towards her room, just as she had only a week before, but this was different, and it certainly felt that way. The rain was heavy against the roof of her bedroom at the top of the house, the space dim from the overcast skies outside the window.
Rebecca stood at the edge of the bed and when she saw the way Ted was looking at her, she felt the nerves ignite in her chest. It was as if his gaze alone was strong enough to strike a match to set fire to her heart. “You’re making me nervous,” she said quietly and she watched a smile appear on his face.
“C’mere,” he said before he pulled her in and his lips found hers, just like they always did anymore. His kiss was soft and tender, and when she felt his hands tug at the hem of her shirt, she realized it was all a distraction.
“Smooth,” she mumbled against him with a giggle before he lifted the shirt up and over her head, leaving her in just her bra and denim shorts. He had seen her in a bathing suit earlier in the week, but it was a one piece and offered enough coverage. Standing here now, shirtless, she felt exposed and she thought it might scare her. But Ted’s eyes somehow grew softer, and even more gentle, and she wondered exactly what was going through his mind at the moment.
He dragged his left hand up her side slowly, his fingertips ghosting over her skin as he lifted his arm up towards her face, where his hand settled against her cheek. “Rebecca, you are so damn breathtakin’.” His thumb brushed against the edge of her mouth and she smiled at him. “Still nervous?”
Rebecca nodded. “I’m fucking terrified.”
Ted smiled back at her before he reached for her hand and held it over his heart. “You feel that?” He asked. “Goin’ a hundred miles a minute and it’s all gotta do with you, baby. It’s alright to be nervous, but promise you’ll stop me if anythin’ feels wrong, alright?”
She nodded again. “The same goes for you, love.” And then she reached for the hem of his shirt, her fingers curling around the fabric to pull it over his head. Rebecca tossed it to the floor before she stepped in to kiss him, her arms wrapping around his neck to hold him close. They spent so much time sharing simple kisses, but this time there was a heavy sense of urgency in both of them. Ted leaned forward to lay her back on the bed, only breaking the kiss so they could move further onto the mattress. He towered over her, his hands braced on either side of shoulders while he leaned in to kiss her again. Rebecca let her own hands wander up over his bare chest, dragging her nails up and down his skin lightly while he coaxed her mouth open and his tongue found hers.
As the rain continued to grow heavier outside, their desire for one another grew stronger inside.
Rebecca had spent so much time worried about what would happen when someone finally saw her naked. It wasn’t that she hated her body, but she was working hard to learn to love it the way it deserved to be loved, and it was proving to be more difficult than she realized. She had always been taller than her friends, and blonder, and when puberty hit, she was always bigger. She had been unlucky enough to hear some of the comments made about her appearance, all comments she wished she could eliminate from her brain and forget altogether. But they lingered in her mind when she stood naked in front of a mirror for too long, or when she stood isolated in a dressing room on a shopping trip with her mother or Sassy. She’d study her reflection, overanalyze the parts of her body that seemed to be the most “popular” areas.
Except she didn’t hear those voices now.
Because now all she heard was Ted.
His mumbled praises about how beautiful she is and how breathtaking she is, and that he can’t believe how lucky he is to experience her like this. The words all settled into the deepest parts of her heart, spaces where the comments made by her schoolmates and the people she had considered her friends had lived for years. And it wasn’t just the words that settled into her chest. It was the way his lips felt against every inch of her skin. It was the way he so willingly seemed to worship her, appreciating her as she was laid out before him.
She had always been nervous about her first time. She remembered seeing the way sex was portrayed in movies or on television, and she remembered the stories her friends would tell after their own experiences. She had always assumed that her first time would be awkward, that it might never live up to the expectations she had in her head, and she knew that would be okay.
But sharing this experience with Ted felt right, like she was always supposed to share herself with him.
It almost felt like living in a film scene, the way he was so gentle and so focused on making sure she was okay. She had never been cared for like this, in any capacity, and it sent her emotions into overdrive. She knew she’d remember the way this felt for the rest of her life, a memory so perfectly engrained in her mind for eternity.
Rebecca laid beside him now, the sheet pulled up over them both, and she had been smiling for so long her cheeks were starting to ache. Ted was tracing patterns on her skin as they faced each other, the grin on his face mirroring her own. “So,” he said quietly. “How do you feel?”
“Like this was worth the wait,” she whispered.
“I can confirm that you were absolutely worth the wait,” he replied.
She reached out now, a finger brushing over his lips and then his mustache before she tucked both hands under her cheek on the pillow. “Can I ask you a question?”
Ted nodded, his fingers stopping against her bare hip. “Of course you can, darlin’.”
“Are you fucking famished or is it just me?”
His laughter filled the room. “I could eat. We can have somethin’ delivered, it sounds like it’s still rainin’. Maybe watch some movies together?”
Rebecca nodded. “A movie night sounds perfect.”
But neither of them were eager to move. They laid together, the silence settling over them, with their eyes focused on each other. She had never seen such an intricate shade of brown, memorizing the way little flecks of green and gold shone through even in the dimness of her bedroom. She knew it would be her favorite combination of colors for the rest of her life, that nothing was ever going to compare. “Hey Ted?”
“Yeah baby?”
She smiled. “I love you.”
Ted leaned forward, and he pressed a soft kiss to her swollen lips. “I love you too, Rebecca.”
Chapter 3: August, 1993.
Notes:
Thank you all so much for being patient with me and this update, the last two weeks have been absolutely brutal, especially mentally. And I sincerely apologize for this chapter, but if it helps, I cried while writing AND editing :(
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
August 3rd
She met Ted in his driveway on Tuesday morning, wearing the Wichita State shirt he had given her with a pair of denim cutoff shorts over her bathing suit. There were two kayaks tied down in the bed of his truck for their day that they planned to spend on the river. It was a spot his mother had suggested, a place she and his father had frequented for years when they’d visit each summer. There was a lazy river about an hour from the houses, and the river had a few designated areas where kayakers could pull off to lay out in the sun and enjoy their surroundings.
Ted was dressed in navy blue swim shorts with a white t-shirt and a baseball cap and when he let the hood of the truck drop down, she flinched slightly at the sound. “You know if that sports management degree doesn’t work out, you’d make a fucking fit mechanic.”
Ted laughed when he leaned in to kiss her before he rested against the side of the truck. “Well, good mornin’ to you too. And you’d just wanna see me all covered in oil stains and overalls, that’s why you’re sayin’ that.”
“Because every girl wants a mustached man in overalls,” she said through a giggle. “Good morning.”
“You ready to spend some time on the water today?” He asked as he pulled open the passenger door.
Rebecca nodded. “I am. I brought an extra camera for us to use too.”
There were three weeks left of her summer at the beach, and while she wasn’t trying to count down until the day they had to say goodbye, she was making it a priority to enjoy as much of those three weeks as possible. She wasn’t ready to stop making memories just yet.
Ted leaned in to kiss her before he closed the door and she buckled her seatbelt when she noticed the empty plastic cassette case sitting on the bench seat. She picked it up and saw Ted’s handwriting scrawled across the paper insert, Summer of ‘93 written across the front. There were no song titles written down, and she wondered what might be included on the mix while Ted slid in on the driver’s side. “Is this new?” She asked and Ted nodded.
“Yeah, I made it last night,” he told her as he started the truck. “I figured we could use a mixtape for our little road trip today.”
Rebecca pushed the tape into the deck and waited for it to start, Keith Whitley’s voice filling the cab of the truck as Ted pulled out onto the main road. The song seemed familiar, but she didn’t realize what it was until the chorus began to play. “This was our first dance,” she said softly.
“It was,” he replied. “The, uh, the whole mix is sorta songs that reminded me of us. Stuff we’ve listened to together, or stuff that made me think of ya while I was makin’ it. It kinda turned into a soundtrack for our summer together.”
She traced her finger across each letter of his handwriting as the song ended and changed to the next, and she couldn’t help but smile. It was such a simple gesture, and it wasn’t even something he had intentionally made for her, but it felt like it was hers. It was theirs. Neither of them spoke much on the drive to the river, the music playing softly as they went. Rebecca stared out the window, watching as the beach disappeared and turned to trees and winding roads. It reminded her of drives to visit her grandparents, when she would beg to have one of the window seats just so she could see better. They lived in a small house on a large piece of land and while the house was surrounded by the biggest trees and most vibrant flowers she had ever seen, so was a lot of the drive through the countryside. She had always imagined a life like that for herself, a home just big enough for her future family, and plenty of room to run around.
Lately, she had been imagining Ted as part of that future.
And as crazy as the idea was, there was a part of her, a very small part buried in the depths of her heart, that knew it was possible.
“We go out to a party somewhere, the moment we walk in the door.” The song had changed again and Ted’s voice had cut through her daydreams. “People stop and everybody stares, she don’t know what they’re starin’ for.” He slid his hand across the bench seat and she accepted it, smiling as he continued to sing. “She don’t know she’s beautiful, she don’t know she’s beautiful, she don’t know she’s beautiful, though time and time I’ve told her so.”
He lifted their joined hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles as the song played on. “Have you always enjoyed country music?”
Ted smiled as he slowed down to make a right turn. “Actually, no, if you’ll believe that. It was somethin’ I grew up with of course, but I never really listened to it myself until after I lost my dad. It felt almost spiritual in a way, if you believe in that kinda stuff. He had this old truck and mama was tired of seein’ it sit in the driveway, so she decided it was gonna be mine. I wanted to get it cleaned up, y’know, get it washed and change the oil, so one afternoon while I was home alone, I grabbed the keys and left. And I remember sittin’ in the driver’s seat, with the key in the ignition, and I couldn’t get myself to turn the key. Everythin’ in that truck felt like him. The spare change in the cup holder, the pack of cigarettes tucked in between the seats. Which was funny, because he kept swearin’ up and down that he had quit, but mama always knew better, and we just let him keep fibbin’.”
He paused for just a moment, taking a left turn down a two-lane road before he continued. “So I’m sittin’ there, the keys just hangin’ from my hand, and they start shakin’. And I know I’m about to have a panic attack. It’s the same way I was feelin’ the day of his funeral. I lean my head back against the rest to try and take a deep breath, and that’s when I see it peekin’ out from the visor. I can tell it’s a picture before I even reach for it, and as soon as I saw it, I started to cry. It was a picture of me and him, from my sixth birthday, and he and mama had just bought me my first football. American,” he said with a wink and she let out a soft laugh.
“I think that was the first time since he had died that I really realized that he was gone. And I’m sure that sounds stupid, but the picture reminded me that we don’t get to make memories like that anymore, me and him. But there are still plenty of people I do get to make those memories with,” he said. “Like you, and my mama. And my grandparents and the friends I’ll make when I start school. It was the first time I felt any hope since he had died. So I reached forward and I started the truck and there was this song playin’, this really beautiful and almost painful song, on the country station he always listened to. And I just never changed the channel after that. Anytime I got in that truck, that’s the kind of music that was playin’. It sometimes felt like he was still with me through the music.”
Rebecca could feel tears slowly dripping down her cheeks, but she reached up to wipe Ted’s away instead. She didn’t know what to say, still couldn’t even fathom the idea of losing one of her parent’s, so she just held him in the ways she could while they drove. “Y’know he really woulda loved you,” Ted said quietly now.
“I wish I could have met him,” she replied softly. “I would have thanked him for you.”
Ted pressed another kiss to her knuckles and they finished the drive listening to the mixtape. It felt like the songs meant more now, like they weren’t just for her or for them, but a connection he made with his father on a trip she knew he had made with him previously. He pulled into a small parking lot, a few other cars already there. They applied sunscreen before they unloaded the kayaks from the back and headed down towards the river. Once they had the kayaks out on the water, Rebecca felt a bit stunned by just how beautiful their surroundings were as they moved lazily down the river. It felt reminiscent to their horseback riding through the private trails, but this somehow was better. Perhaps it was the fact that they were alone, with no tour guide to follow, or because so much had changed between them in those two weeks.
They floated down the river nearly side by side, quiet as they listened to the sounds of life around them. The water crashing against the sides of the kayak, birds singing from various trees, the far-off sound of other rowers farther down the river.
“You wanna pull off over there?” Ted asked, and she followed the direction of his extended finger, pointing towards a small pull-off spot that was partially shaded. They paddled up to the small shore and climbed out, making their way up to the raised area that sat up over the river. Ted sat in the grass first before he moved to lay on his back, his head tilted up towards the sky. Rebecca joined him, her head rested on his chest while she laid perpendicular to him.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to go back,” she whispered and she let her eyes fall closed.
“I know I ain’t ready to watch you go back,” he whispered in response. “This place is never gonna be the same.”
She sighed, and she could feel tears stinging her eyes. “I can’t imagine not seeing you every day, or knowing you’re right down the street.”
His knuckles brushed against her cheek. “Baby, you’ve got such an incredible future ahead of you. Think about all of those little kids that are gonna be able to learn so much from you, includin’ the ones that are gonna be yours. The friends you’re gonna make, the places you’re gonna see. And you’ll always have this summer to look back on.”
“You want me to tell my future children about you?”
Ted laughed. “Heck yeah! I know I’m gonna tell mine about you. They’ll know all about the beautiful girl from England who always woke up early enough to watch me run on the beach.”
Rebecca scoffed. “I did not wake up early enough! I am already awake when you decide to go running. It’s not my fault you pass through my view of the sunrise.”
He leaned in to kiss her, a wide smile on his face. “Happy accident, I guess.”
“I know I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I think I can confidently say I’ll never love someone the way I love you, Ted.”
He let out a long sigh before he pressed a kiss against her hair. “That feeling is mutual, sweetheart.”
They laid together in silence for a while, the sun shining down bright on them, the warmth comforting against her skin. It was another one of those moments she knew she’d never forget, a sliver in time from the best three months of her life.
And then she had an idea.
“Ted?” She whispered and when he hummed in response, she wondered for a moment if he was half asleep.
“Yeah babe?”
Rebecca smiled. “I want to get the tattoo.”
He laughed lightly, the movement shaking her head a little. “Oh yeah?”
She nodded. “And I’d like for you to come with me.”
“Just tell me when and I’m there.”
August 5th
Rebecca could feel her nerves starting to build the closer they got to the tattoo parlor. She had always thought maybe she’d get one someday, even after the pain she watched Sassy go through for her own. But she knew, despite any pain she might suffer through today, the end result was going to be worth it. It would be a beautiful reminder not only of this summer, but of Ted as well.
He pulled the door open and let her step inside first, and the studio was overwhelming in the best ways. Walls covered in different designs, some simple lines and other elaborate pieces with colors and exquisite shading techniques. There was an older gentleman laid out across a table, the artist tracing a pattern on his left thigh. There was another artist cleaning up her station, wiping down surfaces and sanitizing her tools. When the door closed behind them and the small bell chimed, she looked up at Ted and Rebecca.
“Hi guys, welcome in,” she greeted. “What can we do for ya today?”
Rebecca reached into her bag, pulling a folded piece of paper out. “I’d like to get this done today, if that’s alright.”
It was a drawing Ted had done for her the day before, when they were laid out by the pool. She hadn’t considered any other option for the tattoo besides a sunflower, and she thought having Ted draw it was her only choice. She laid beside him on a lounge chair on her stomach, watching him sketch and erase and re-do lines until he deemed it perfect.
And it was perfect.
“Oh, this is gorgeous,” the artist told her, the paper in her hands. “Did you draw this?”
Rebecca shook her head. “He did.”
“Okay, well, why don’t we get you started. My name’s Shannon,” she introduced.
“I’m Rebecca.”
Ted extended his hand. “Ted, nice to meet ya.”
Shannon showed them over to her station. “Rebecca, why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll get this ready as a stencil. Where were you thinking for placement?”
“My left side, along my rib cage,” she told her.
Shannon nodded with a smile. “Sounds great. I’ll be back soon.”
She disappeared and Rebecca sat on the long table across from Ted in one of the plastic chairs. “You nervous?”
Rebecca shrugged. “Maybe a little bit.”
He leaned in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be here the whole time, don’t worry. I’ll hold your hand and tell you jokes and make you forget about the whole dang thing.”
“I appreciate that, thank you.”
Her leg bounced up and down while she waited for Shannon to return. “Thank you for coming with me,” she said quietly.
Ted smiled. “Of course, baby.”
“Alright, love, how do we feel about this size?” Shannon came back, the stencil in one hand with Ted’s drawing in the other. “I can go bigger or smaller, whatever you want.”
Rebecca smiled. “It’s perfect.”
“Okay, let me get the privacy screen set up for us then. Rebecca, we’re gonna need to lose that shirt, but I assume it’s alright if Ted stays?” Shannon asked.
“Yes please,” she answered, and when they were closed off from the rest of the studio, she pulled the shirt over her head. She laid down along the table and looked over at Ted, who was smiling at her. Shannon moved around them, preparing her station and making sure she had what she needed, so Rebecca stayed focused on Ted. He had become her pillar of calm over the last few months, and she thought sometimes it was too big of an ask for him to represent that in her life. But he didn’t ever seem to mind, and she often felt like she was the same for him.
It always seemed like they were two halves of the same whole.
Shannon stood beside her now, the stencil held delicately in her fingertips. “Where are we thinkin’ honey? Right below the bra line?”
Rebecca nodded. “That’s perfect.”
She placed the stencil against her skin and pressed gently, making sure the lines transferred over correctly. Ted moved the chair closer to her while they waited for the stencil to dry, reaching out to take her right hand in his. “Why the left side?” He asked and she turned to face him.
“Keeps you close to my heart,” she whispered.
Shannon turned on the tattoo gun and gave Rebecca a warning before she started on the first line. When the needle touched her skin, she gasped, the pain unexpected but tolerable. Ted squeezed her hand as Shannon slowly traced along the lines, the pain becoming less annoying the longer she laid still. She studied Ted’s face while she looked at him, noticing little stray hairs in his mustache or freckles that had formed beneath his eyes. Every time she looked at him, she found something even more breathtaking than the last time she saw him, and she fell even deeper in love.
It was going to make her last day with him so bittersweet.
“You’re doin’ great, baby,” Ted told her, his lips landing on her temple for a brief kiss. “I’m proud of you.”
The needle was slowly moving down a sensitive spot and Rebecca gasped at the feeling. “Christ, and people do this shit for fun?”
Shannon laughed. “Yes we do. It gets easier the more you have.”
“Plus, if you start off with the most painful spot in the world, it’s gonna be a breeze after that,” Ted replied.
“Ted, do you have any ink?”
He nodded. “Yes ma’am. I’ve got a magnolia on my chest for my mama.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “He drew that one too, the show off.”
Shannon smiled, dipping the needle into ink before she continued with the pattern. “So how long have you two been together?”
“Just about two months,” Ted answered.
“My family is staying in a beach house just a few away from his,” she added. “We met the first night I was in town and just never stopped hanging out.”
Shannon wiped at the wet ink with a paper towel, leaving a smear of black on Rebecca’s skin. “You know, I met my husband on this beach when I was nine years old. I had just moved here and my parents wanted to get to know the area, so we came down to the boardwalk and grabbed ice cream and then we went down to the ocean. And I was standing there, with two scoops of Rocky Road on a cake cone, when this kid just plowed into me. He had been playing catch with his friends, and wasn’t paying attention while running backwards. It turned out we were in the same school, same class, and we were best friends for years before he asked me out. We’ve been together for ten years, married for five, and I’ve still never forgiven him for ruining my ice cream that night.”
They both laughed, Rebecca making every effort to hold still for Shannon. Her story made Rebecca wonder just how lucky they’d have to be to defy all of the odds and find their way back to one another some day.
“Rebecca, where’s home for you?” Shannon asked.
“London,” she replied, a quick gasp at the touch of the needle. “I’ll return home in a few weeks.”
She smiled. “Well, I hope you make the most of the time you have left here.”
Rebecca looked over at Ted again, who hadn’t stopped looking at her. “I don’t think that’ll be too difficult.” He smiled at her and kissed her knuckles before squeezing her hand again. Shannon started to shade the petals of the sunflower when she finished the outline, and Rebecca was finally beginning to feel uncomfortable on the table. She kept her eyes on Ted, an attempt to distract herself from the feeling.
“Hey, whaddya think your mama’s gonna say about this?”
She smiled. “Honestly, I have no idea. But I’m not so sure I care. She’ll probably have herself convinced it’s fake, like it’ll come off after a few hot showers and some scrubbing.”
Shannon’s head popped up from where she had been staring down at Rebecca’s side. “Please promise me you will not scrub this, at least not until it’s fully healed.”
“I promise you I will not,” Rebecca replied.
Shannon returned to Rebecca’s side, her head ducked down close to the skin to finish her work on the flower petals. Rebeca turned back towards Ted, who had a wide smile on his face. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothin’, just enjoyin’ this.”
It was almost two hours before Shannon finished the tattoo and when she set the tattoo gun back down, Rebecca took a deep breath. Shannon held a mirror up for Rebecca to look at the finished design. “How’s it look, sweetheart?”
“It’s bloody perfect,” she replied.
Shannon smiled. “I’ll get you all cleaned up and wrapped and then you’ll be on your way.” She stepped away to gather some plastic wrap and paper towels and Rebecca turned back to Ted.
“Could you get my camera from my bag please?”
He nodded and reached inside, pulling out her disposable camera. “You want a picture before she wraps it?”
Rebecca nodded now. “Yes please.”
He walked to the opposite side of where he had been standing and crouched down, the camera held up to his eye. “Y’know, I think I deserve some sort of award or somethin’ because you’ve been shirtless for the last two hours and I’ve been on my best behavior.”
She broke out in laughter as he returned the camera to her bag and sat back down in his chair. “I see, and what kind of reward would you like for being such a gentleman?”
“You,” he answered, his voice low. “And maybe some Rocky Road, Shannon’s story gave me a hankerin’ for ice cream.”
Rebecca smiled. “Let’s get some ice cream for the walk home. My parents are gone for the afternoon anyways.”
Ted raised an eyebrow. “Does sex hurt with a fresh tattoo?”
“Only one way to find out, right?” She asked with a wink.
August 7th
“So where are you two off to today?”
Rebecca stabbed at a piece of pineapple on her plate. “An aquarium.”
Deborah chuckled. “An aquarium?”
Ted nodded from his seat across from Rebecca. “Yes ma’am. I wanted to make sure Rebecca got the full Myrtle Beach experience and that is not complete without a trip to Ripley’s Aquarium.”
“Sweetheart, do you remember when your mother and I took you to the aquarium?” Paul asked. “I think you were maybe six years old, and you were so fascinated with the sea turtle, you spent nearly three months begging us to keep one as a pet.”
Rebecca smiled, the memory one she looked back on from time to time. A moment she enjoyed being around her parents, when she was still young enough to believe everything was fine. “You bought me the biggest stuffed sea turtle you could find to try and make up for it.”
Deborah laughed. “What ever happened to that turtle?”
“I think we had to throw it away,” Rebecca answered. “I left it outside one evening and the rain ruined it.”
“Y’know, I think there’s a sea turtle at the aquarium,” Ted told her. “I don’t think we can kidnap it or anythin’, but we could probably get a picture of it.”
Rebecca smiled. “A picture would be just fine.”
It still felt weird to discuss parts of her past in front of Ted, a boy who had only known her for two months, but it felt even stranger to have him sitting here with her parents, over breakfast, reminiscing on a time where she never could have even imagined a moment like this. When she had first arrived in Myrtle Beach, and her and Ted had only just begun hanging out, she wondered if maybe she should keep this temporary life separate from her normal life. She considered making sure Ted never met her parents, that they never found out more than the bare minimum about Ted. But sitting here now with them, watching as her mother passed another blueberry scone to Ted, it filled her with hope.
Like maybe this wasn’t the last any of them would see him.
“Well, don’t let us keep you, darling,” Deborah said. “Please do enjoy yourselves.”
Ted offered to help clean up but both Deborah and Paul refused, insisting that they leave to enjoy their day. After their goodbyes and hugs and handshakes, they were out the door and on their way to the aquarium.
“Thank you,” she said quietly as they got into the truck.
Ted looked over at her while he buckled his seatbelt. “For what?”
Rebecca smiled. “For having breakfast with them,” she replied. “And for being you.”
He laughed softly as he pulled out onto the road. “You don’t hafta thank me for that, Rebecca. But I did have fun with them, and it seemed like maybe you did too.”
She sighed, shifting in her seat to face her body towards him. “It almost felt like it used to,” she admitted. “Before everything with my father happened, we used to eat as a family. We used to do a lot of things as a family, but then I started pulling away.”
“Have you ever thought about talkin’ to him?” Ted asked now. “Tellin’ him how you feel about all of this?”
Rebecca nodded. “Nearly every single day. But I have no idea what I would say and even if I did, how would I bring it up?”
Ted slowed the truck to a stop at an intersection. “You’d tell him how he hurt you, how his actions have had a negative impact on your life since that day. I’m not sayin’ it’s gonna be an easy conversation, but I think it could be worth it.”
“And if he doesn’t care?”
“I saw the look on his face when he talked about your turtle phase, baby,” Ted told her. “He’ll care.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at that, the sheer disbelief that any of this was happening at all. “I’ll think about it,” she said softly through some stray tears. “But for now, I just want to see a freaking turtle.”
Ted laughed beside her, turning into the parking lot that was full of wandering families. “Your wish is my command, sweetheart. Let’s go.”
When the car was parked, they made their way to the entrance and stood in line to purchase their tickets. They were surrounded by children, little ones of all ages running amok while their parents tried their best to corral them. There was so much laughter, with just a hint of unhappiness from a few select children who looked like they'd rather be outside in the sunshine, that it warmed her heart over. She had always dreamt of being a teacher, a dream that had formed at a very young age, but she had also always dreamt of having her own children. She wanted a family more than she wanted almost anything else in the world.
Tickets in hand, they made their way through the entrance and into the aquarium, and excitement ran through her veins as she spotted the first exhibit. Children swarmed to the front, their hands and noses pressed to the glass as they watched schools of fish swim back and forth. She stood back, watching over their heads, and she felt just like a kid again.
Ted’s hand slipped into hers as he stood beside her, their fingers intertwined. He squeezed her hand once, then again, then for a third time, and when she looked up at him, he was grinning at her. “What was that for?” She asked.
“I love you,” he replied.
Rebecca leaned her head against his shoulder, movement all around them while they stood frozen in time. Her mind flashed to years down the road, when they were no longer teenagers falling in love, but instead grown up with kids of their own. Two hearts that, above all odds, still managed to find their way back to one another, like two magnets ready to come together again. It felt so familiar in her mind that it gave her hope for what the future held for her, and for them.
As they made their way deeper into the aquarium, she never once dropped his hand. She didn’t have much time left with him, and she needed to take advantage of every moment she did spend by his side.
They passed by different species of frogs and jellyfish, through exhibits of stingrays and sharks and various types of fish. Rebecca took a few pictures as they walked through, but eventually she shoved the camera into her bag and left it alone. It wasn’t until they spotted the green sea turtle that she tried to pull it out again, and she felt Ted’s hand wrap around hers when she retrieved it.
“Stand by the glass,” he instructed, and she laughed. “C’mon, you gotta take a picture with the turtle.”
Rebecca giggled. “Ted, I am not taking my picture with the turtle. I just need a picture of the turtle.”
But he shook his head. “No ma’am, that’s not acceptable. Because I’m gonna need a copy of the picture of you with a turtle to have for my dorm room.”
She shoved the camera back into her bag. “You are not taking a picture of me to college with you.”
Confusion covered his face. “Why not?”
“Because,” she started, but she realized she didn’t have a real argument. Wasn’t this what she wanted? For him to remember her and believe in the possibility of them reconnecting after they had graduated? For all of this to be more than just a summer love, more than just her first love?
His hand slipped into hers and when she looked at him, there was a softness in his eyes that warmed her over entirely. “If you don’t want me to,” he said softly. “Then I won’t.”
She shook her head. “No, you should if you want to,” she replied.
“I promise I won’t do anythin’ weird with it,” he told her and she couldn’t help but laugh. He always knew how to lighten the mood.
And then she pulled the camera out and handed it to him before she approached the glass, just as the turtle was slowly swimming by. “Go on then,” she said and he held the camera up while she smiled back at him. She gave him a thumbs up while he snapped the picture and then they continued on towards the final exhibit. They stood along the glass panes and watched as the penguins waddled across rocks and dove down into their small pool, colored bands tied around their arms. Each time one of them made any sort of sound, the crowd of children watching would burst out into laughter around them.
“I bet that one’s named Rebecca,” Ted told her, his finger extended out towards one of the quieter ones perched up on a rock.
Rebecca looked down at the brochure in her hand and smiled. “I’m afraid his name is Elton, love.”
Ted frowned. “Alright, well what about that one?” He asked, changing the direction of his hand.
She shook her head. “Haley.”
He pointed now towards two penguins near the very back, their hands joined together between them. “Right there, that’s a Ted and a Rebecca.”
“According to this list, that’s Norman and Scarlette.”
Now Ted shook his head. “Nope, not anymore. That is Ted Lasso of Kansas and Rebecca Welton of England. Look at ‘em, holdin’ hands, probably talkin’ about what they wanna make the kids for dinner tonight.”
Rebecca threaded her fingers between his and leaned into his side. “They have kids?” She asked.
“Oh yeah, three of ‘em, maybe four. Two boys, two girls, to keep things even in the house. That’s really just important on family game night, and when we play football in the backyard.”
“My football or your football?”
“Both,” he answered simply. “It’s important to teach the kids about all of it.”
She smiled. “Where do we live?”
Ted pressed a kiss to her temple. “London, but we take the kids to Kansas every summer. My mama visits every winter for the holidays and to help out while the kids are outta school. Plus she insists we ring in every new year together, just the two of us.”
Rebecca let out a long sigh and closed her eyes. “That sounds nice,” she said quietly.
“It does, doesn’t it?”
She nodded. “Do you think we’ll ever get it?”
Ted let out his own sigh at her question. “I dunno, baby. I think fate put us in each other’s paths once, no reason why it can’t happen again.”
The topic of their conversation changed as they made their way to the gift shop, but returned when they stood out on the boardwalk together, the sun slowly starting to make its descent, the sky a mixture of purple and orange and yellow. She had an ice cream cone in one hand and her new stuffed sea turtle tucked beneath her arm.
“Would we bring the kids here?” She asked softly.
He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “Once they were old enough, yeah. We’d tell them the story of how we met, and how we fell in love. We’d take ‘em to our favorite spots, and we’d find new ones to love together.”
Rebecca smiled at him, ice cream slowly melting down over her fingers. “I hope you’re my forever, Ted.”
“I’d be the luckiest man in the world if I was.”
August 11th
Rebecca reached forward, her thumb out towards Ted’s face. “Come here, love.”
He leaned in and she wiped at the powdered sugar that had gotten caught in his mustache. “Thank you, baby.”
They had spent the first part of their day riding go karts, racing each other on the rather empty track in town. It was something Rebecca had never done before, something she had never really felt inclined to participate in, but it seemed like this summer, she’d do anything.
At least when it came to Ted.
The weather today was perfect, sunshine and warmth surrounding them, but there was a gray cloud looming over her own head today. A cloud brought on by the fact that in two weeks, this would be over. She wouldn’t get to see Ted every day, wouldn’t be able to spend her mornings watching the sun rise as she drank her tea. There would be no more trips to get ice cream, no more afternoons spent laying in the sand side by side, only leaving when they could feel their skin burning even through layers of sunscreen. It would just be her, on her way back to London alone before she’d move off to University. It left her feeling sad, and nauseous, but she tried hard to combat the feeling, because she wanted to enjoy these final two weeks with him.
“I’m gonna miss this,” he said quietly and tears stung the corners of her eyes. “Bein’ here with you, nothin’ to worry about except what kinda ice cream to eat or what to spend our day doin’.”
She stood up from her spot on the picnic table bench and moved to his side, sitting down beside him now to wrap around his arm. She tried to fight off the tears, but she failed. They slid down her cheeks and caught against the fabric of his t-shirt, damp spots left in their wake. Rebecca wanted so badly to believe that she would find more people like Ted in her life, people who felt like sunshine, who bloomed flowers in the deepest parts of her. And she knew in the back of her mind, it was possible. But it was hard to be convinced of that right now, to believe in the idea that there was anyone in the world comparable to him.
Because some days, she still didn’t even believe he was real.
Ted pressed a kiss to her temple and she stayed wrapped around him until the tears slowed to a stop. “Y’know, sometimes at night when I can’t sleep, I think about what it’d be like to take you home to Kansas with me.”
Rebecca smiled softly. “You do?”
He nodded and rested his head against hers. “Oh yeah. I think about what it would be like to live together and spend holidays together. Or what it’d be like wakin’ up next to you each mornin’. I’d take ya all over town, show you all the best places to go, like who’s got the best barbecue or the best donuts. We could take road trips together, stop in little towns along the way and pick up the silliest souvenirs.”
Rebecca closed her eyes as she listened to him continue on. “We’d come back here every summer, make new memories together until it wasn’t just the two of us. We’d stay in the family house, hangin’ up pictures of the kids and our friends next to pictures of our families. And we’d spend time in London too, because the kids should know both of our lives.”
She had started crying again, hot tears streaking down her cheeks as she stayed silent, too overwhelmed by what he was saying. The picture he painted was perfect, so clear in her mind. But she worried that’s all it would ever be was just a picture. A reminder of what could have been if the timing was right.
Ted slipped his arm out of her grip and wrapped it around her shoulder, pulling her tight into his chest. “And I hope you know I’d marry the hell outta you too,” he whispered and it pulled a quick laugh from her lips. “You’d be so damn beautiful standin’ there in your white dress.”
“Would you be mad if I said I don’t want this with anyone but you?”
“No,” he answered. “But I don’t want you holdin’ yourself back from what you really deserve just because it ain’t with me.”
She sighed, because she knew he was right, but it didn’t hurt any less. “Do you think perhaps you have an identical twin somewhere on this planet you don’t know about?”
Ted laughed and kissed her hair again. “No, unfortunately this is not a Parent Trap situation. Although I do love that movie. Anyone talented enough to play two roles in the same movie is a winner in my book.”
“My mum and I used to watch that together when I was younger. On nights my father would have meetings or weekend matches on the road, we’d curl up together on the couch and share a bowl of popcorn and that was always my first choice in movies. Then she would pick The Sound of Music and we’d spend the rest of the night singing to one another as we cleaned up and finally made it to bed.”
He pulled their funnel cake closer and she reached over to rip a piece off to eat. “Was your dad gone a lot?”
“During the season, I guess. He didn’t always travel with the team, but for big matches he would go along,” she explained. “Sometimes mum and I would watch the matches together, even if we didn’t really understand what was going on. But for me, it always made me feel closer to him.”
“I guess you don’t watch much anymore?” Ted asked quietly.
Rebecca shook her head. “No. I usually don’t hear anything about the matches until he’s arrived home for the night and he tells us over dinner. But then I’m usually ignoring him and everything he says, and I couldn’t even tell you what their record was this past season.”
“Well, on the off chance you ever decide you do wanna follow in his footsteps, I’d start by at least figurin’ out what their record is,” he told her with a smile. “The rest you can learn along the way.”
She sighed. “I just know that life’s not meant for me. And whether or not I’m meant to be a teacher, I’ve still got time to figure that out. But I’m certainly not qualified to own a football club.” She lifted her head and reached up to run a finger along his jawline. “You could though.”
Ted shook his head slightly. “I’m not well educated in that kind of football.”
Rebecca smiled. “You could learn along the way.”
He laughed. “You got me there. But I’m not sure your dad would want some silly American with a mustache runnin’ his club. Especially one who ain’t never spent much time around the game.”
“I fear he’ll own that club until he takes his last breath,” she said quietly.
Ted pressed a kiss to her hairline. “Hey, why don’t we get outta here? We could go down to the beach or back to the house and go swimmin’? Or we can do somethin’ else entirely, whatever you want.”
“We could go back to my house and watch a movie,” she suggested, an eyebrow raised. “Or rather, we could have the movie on in the background.”
“You gonna fall asleep on me this time?”
Rebecca laughed and hid her face in her hands. “I’m sorry! I swear that will not happen again.”
Ted smiled and stood from the table. “It’s alright, any chance I get to just hold ya is good enough for me.”
They walked back to the house hand in hand, and Rebecca tried to take in every single piece of that moment, knowing it would be one of the last. She memorized the way it felt with her fingers threaded in the space between his, how perfectly tanned his skin was and how it glowed under the August sunshine. She memorized the flower beds and trees they passed by on their walk, the colors so unique and bright in contrast to the soil they grew in. She created permanent pictures in her mind, ones she wasn’t able to capture clearly enough, but ones she was desperate to save. She hoped months from now, when she was away at Cambridge and looking for a distraction from her studies, she’d have these memories to look back on. When they arrived, Rebecca led him right into the living room and they curled up on the couch like they had so many times before. Their skin was warm pressed together as she laid across his chest, and they never even bothered to turn on the television. Instead Rebecca listened to the beat of his heart, so steady and calm, a melody she thought was maybe just for her.
Ted pulled his fingers gently through her hair, and every time he let it fall, the ends tickled the bare skin of her shoulders. “Y’know, sometimes when I’m layin’ with you like this, I can imagine us ten or fifteen years down the road doin’ the same thing. Maybe it’s just the two of us or maybe we got a little one too, but no matter what, it’s always us together.”
“Ted,” she whispered. “Don’t.”
His fingers stopped. “Why not?”
She closed her eyes. “Because what if we can’t have that? What if all we’re meant to have is just these three months?”
“D’you really believe that?”
“No,” she breathed. “I mean, I guess I don’t really know what’s going to happen, but do you really think that life will bring us back together?”
Ted started his fingers again. “I think there was a reason we crossed paths this summer, and while neither of us can know if it was only for these three months, or if it was for somethin’ more, I’d like to believe that we’ll see each other again.”
“I can’t imagine my life without you in it,” she whispered.
“Hey, let’s make a promise, okay?” He said and she lifted her head. “Gimme your pinky.”
She lifted her pinky and he looped his own around hers. “What are we promising?”
Ted smiled at her. “To see each other again. In four years, after we’ve graduated and finished school, we’ll meet back up here and pick up where we left off. We’ll spend a week or two just catchin’ up and then we can figure it out from there.”
“You’ve already proposed that once.”
He nodded. “And now we’re makin’ it official. No guessin’ or wonderin’ if either of us are serious about doin’ it.”
Rebecca smiled back at him, squeezing his pinky. “Okay.”
“No, you gotta promise.”
She laughed now. “Theodore Lasso, I promise to meet you back here on this very beach in four years.”
Ted leaned up to kiss their linked pinkies. “And I, Theodore Lasso, promise you, Rebecca Welton, that I will meet you right back here on this beach in four years.”
“Now will you kiss me for real?”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied before he kissed her, just like he had been since that afternoon on the boardwalk. And while she didn’t know what the future held for them, she knew she’d have these memories to always look back on, Ted permanently etched into her head and her heart.
August 15th
“I talked to my father.”
Ted froze in place, hands stilled as he unpacked the picnic basket they had brought to the park with them. “How’d it go?”
Rebecca huffed out a sigh. “He’s agreed to talk to my mother, so I’ll take that as a good sign. But we decided he should wait until we’re home to do it.”
“And how do you feel?”
He handed her an opened and chilled glass bottle of Diet Coke. “I don’t know if I have an answer for that yet. I’m happy I told him, but there’s a voice in my head that keeps saying nothing will actually change. That he’ll wait until I’ve moved away and he’ll sweep it under the rug like he has for the last two years.”
Ted nodded in understanding. “But you told him how it made you feel? That it was jeopardizin’ your relationship with him? And how you don’t wanna keep hidin’ from your mama?”
Rebecca nodded now. “I did. And it seemed like he felt bad about how it’s weighed on me for nearly two years. I’m just worried it’s not enough.”
“Well, at least you tried, right?” Ted asked. “At this point, the ball’s in his court and if he wants to make a change and be better, he will.”
She didn’t know what would happen, but she did feel a sense of relief now that she had come clean to her father about how she was feeling. Being honest with him was probably one of the most nerve wracking things she had done, but now she felt lighter. Like it was one less thing she had to carry on her plate as she moved onto the next chapter of her life.
It had happened the night before, when Rebecca had come downstairs for a midnight snack. She hadn’t expected to see her father still awake, out on the balcony in the darkness, rocking slowly in the same chair she occupied most mornings. She debated with herself for five straight minutes on whether or not she should go out there before she ultimately pulled the door open. She stepped outside and the air was chilled, a cool breeze moving across the beach beneath the night sky.
“You should be asleep, Sausage.”
She smiled and rounded the empty chair slowly. “How’d you know it was me?”
Paul smiled back at her and lifted a mug to his lips. “Your mother isn’t nearly as quiet, nor does she ever try to be.”
“Everyone knows when she walks into a room,” Rebecca mused as she pulled her knees up to her chest and rocked back and forth. “It’s really beautiful here,” she said quietly.
“You know, I remember not too long ago when you were rather adamant about not coming on this trip,” Paul told her. “Now it seems like we’re going to have trouble getting you back home.”
She felt her cheeks flush and she hoped he didn’t notice under the soft light of the balcony. “I’m glad I gave it a chance. It’s been a good summer.”
“I imagine Ted probably has a lot to do with that,” he teased.
“He does,” she whispered. “He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known.”
Paul nodded. “You’re still young, Rebecca. You’ll meet plenty of other wonderful people in your life.”
Rebecca sighed. “Not like him.”
They were quiet, the air still around them, and Rebecca thought maybe she could say something now. That she could confront Paul about what she had seen and how it had shattered her entire world. But the words sat on the tip of her tongue, fear settling into her veins the longer she waited, until her nerve dissipated entirely.
But then her father broke the silence.
“I know you hate me, Rebecca,” he said and there was a dull ringing in her ears. “And I know what I did was wrong.”
Rebecca exhaled a slow breath, tears clouding her vision. “Then why did you do it?”
Paul tipped his head back against the chair. “It was a moment of weakness, and it was a mistake. Your mother and I were going through a rough time together and I made a terrible decision to try and cope with that. I found solace in a friend and I let things go too far. I regret everything about that night, and that includes not apologizing to you.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she didn’t even bother wiping them away. “Rebecca, I am so sorry. I’m sorry that I put you in a position where you had to witness that decision, and that you felt you had to stay quiet about it happening. I’ll never forgive myself for putting you through that, and I would give anything to get the last two years back for us. You kept your distance and I know that, and now in just a few weeks, I have to watch you move away.”
“I couldn’t even look at you,” she said quietly. “For weeks after it happened, I felt sick everytime I saw you. And when I saw you with mom? When it seemed like you were pretending everything was okay? It was horrible.”
“I know,” he whispered. “And I know there’s nothing I can do to fix this. But I can promise you that I will be better. Whether or not you believe me, that’s entirely up to you. Rebecca, I love your mother very much and nothing has ever changed that.”
Rebecca turned to face her father for the first time. “Does she know?”
He shrugged and took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”
“Did it ever happen again?”
“No, it was just that one night,” he said. “I don’t expect you to forgive me because frankly I don’t deserve it. But I do hope that one day things can be better between us, because no matter what, you’re my little girl and I love you.”
She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks for the first time. “I love you too,” she whispered. “But I hate you for what you did. I hate that I’ve had to live with the image of you with that woman, and I hate that I missed out on so much time with you.”
Paul reached over to run his thumb across her cheek. “I know, sweetheart. I do too.”
“You should tell her,” she said on an exhale. “She deserves to know.”
He nodded. “I agree.”
“But maybe wait until we’re home,” Rebecca suggested. “Don’t ruin our trip for her.”
Paul nodded again in agreement. “Sweetheart, I need you to know this hasn’t been easy for me.”
“I would hope not,” she mumbled.
“If I could take it all back, I would. But I have to live with the consequences of my actions.”
Rebecca turned back to the ocean now, watching as the waves slowly rolled over in the shine of the moonlight. The stars reflected off the water, and they danced with each movement. It was peaceful to watch, so calming as the weight of the night settled in. She had imagined talking to her father about it all one day, way into the future, perhaps as a grown adult on a rare visit back home. But sitting here now, she realized it was as good a time as any, a way to clear the air before she moved away. It was one less thing she had to carry with her as she began her new chapter.
“I love you, sweet pea.”
It broke her apart, to hear him say those words to her now. Because for the first time in almost two years, it finally felt true and it felt real. She didn’t feel angry, not like she had for so many months before. She knew the situation would still weigh on her, memories burned into her mind that she would never fully forget. But maybe over time, they wouldn’t burn so bright and so vividly, and she could fully find her way back to the relationship she once had with her father.
Or at the very least, something close to it.
“I’m proud of you,” Ted said quietly. “I know that probably wasn’t easy.”
Rebecca laid back on the blanket, her face turned up at the sun, eyes closed to shield them. “It wasn’t, but I’m glad I did it. It’s like a massive weight was lifted and now it’s one less thing I have to carry with me to Uni.”
Ted leaned over her to block the sun and when she opened her eyes, he was smiling down at her. “You’re damn beautiful, y’know that?”
She smiled as he ducked down to kiss her, her hands finding their way into his hair to keep him close. She didn’t allow herself to think about how in a few weeks, she wouldn’t be kissing him anymore. She didn’t need to dwell on what was coming, she just wanted to focus on what they had right now.
He peppered her face with kisses for some time before he leaned back and she sat up so they could eat. It was a small spread of sandwiches and snacks, nothing fancy, but she loved it just the same. Rebecca spent more time watching Ted it seemed, and every time he caught her staring, she blushed. Her cheeks warmed and she ducked her head to hide, but he’d gently lift her face back up, a finger curled beneath her chin.
When they were finished eating, Rebecca reached into her bag and removed a white envelope. “I have something for you,” she said and handed it over to Ted, who looked confused. “Open it.”
Ted lifted the flap and removed the stack of pictures, the photo of them together on the Ferris Wheel on the very top of the pile. “I had most of my cameras developed and thought you might enjoy your own copies.”
He flipped through each picture slowly, images of them at the park, the aquarium, playing mini-golf and bowling one right after another. There was a copy of the picture of Ted with the butterfly on his shoulder, and another of Rebecca with ice cream on her cheek. It was a physical highlight reel of their summer together and she felt so thankful that, no matter what, she’d always have these memories to look back on.
When Ted reached the final photo, she noticed his cheeks had turned red and his eyes went wide. “Rebecca Charlotte Welton, this is like Christmas and my birthday all wrapped up in one little picture.”
“I had forgotten about that one,” she said with a soft giggle.
It was a picture of Rebecca on the beach, laid out on a towel with her sunglasses on. She and Ted had spent the afternoon in the sun and she remembered how nervous she was when Ted had grabbed the camera. Her first instinct had been to hide, but she knew with Ted she didn’t have to. The bikini she had chosen for the day left little to the imagination, and she knew it was driving him crazy to see her in it. Ted had angled the camera to pan down the length of her body as he snapped the photo, with Rebecca lifted on her elbows just a few inches.
“You just looked so damn good,” Ted admitted sheepishly. “I couldn’t help myself.”
Rebecca smiled. “I think seeing these pictures from this summer is the first time I haven’t completely hated the way I look.”
Ted landed a soft kiss on her cheek. “You should always feel beautiful, baby,” he whispered.
“I finally feel beautiful,” she whispered back. She leaned her forehead against his. “Back home, sometimes I feel like I have to try to be someone I’m not. Like I have to compete with everyone, including Sassy. But I don’t feel like that here, with you. Here I can just be me.”
“So now anytime you’re feelin’ less than, you find these,” he said, tapping against the pictures. “And you’ll remember how you felt for these three months, how you always deserve to feel.”
Rebecca leaned in to kiss him. “I love you,” she mumbled when she broke away.
Ted smiled against her lips. “I love you too. And I hope you know that picture’s comin’ with me to school. Gonna keep it folded up in my wallet so I’m always carryin’ you around.”
“Just as long as it’s for your eyes only,” she warned.
Ted let out a low whistle. “As if I’d consider sharin’. I may seem like a very nice guy but I can be selfish if I hafta be.”
She smirked and moved in towards him again. “If it’s for me, I’ll certainly allow it.”
Their lips collided and for a moment, she wished they were somewhere else, and maybe a few years older. A time when they didn’t have to worry about saying goodbye, where their only obligations were each other. She wanted a life where it could always be the two of them against the world.
“You wanna pack this up and go take a walk?” Ted asked and Rebecca nodded. They carried the basket and blanket back to the car before they started down a short path Ted knew led down to the shore. They walked hand in hand and Rebecca wondered if Ted had realized that he was tracing the tip of his finger around her left ring finger. She didn’t draw attention to it, but instead just let her mind wander away with the idea of having a ring there. His ring.
When they reached the sand, they kicked off their shoes and moved closer to the water. The weather was perfect and the skies were a bright blue, not a single cloud to be seen. The water was calm, waves quietly crashing against the sand. This particular spot wasn’t busy, with only a few people enjoying the view around them.
Rebecca pulled the last disposable camera from her bag before she looked around for someone close enough to them. “Excuse me?”
An older woman with gray hair stopped and turned towards Rebecca. “Yes dear?”
“Would it be too much trouble to ask you to take a picture of us?”
The woman smiled at them. “Of course, sweetheart.” Rebecca and Ted moved a bit closer to the water, their backs out to the ocean, bodies pressed tightly together. “Okay you two, give me a big smile.”
They smiled for the picture until she pressed the button down. Rebecca started to move in and thank her, but she stopped them both. “Hold on, one more. And make it a silly one.”
Ted laughed beside Rebecca. “Yes ma’am.” Before Rebecca knew what was happening, Ted dipped Rebecca back and held her there. She could feel the way her hair was flowing free in the breeze and she felt laughter bubbling in her chest. It burst out of her just as she heard the shutter of the camera. Ted pulled her back up and kissed her before she took the camera back from the woman.
“Thank you so much,” Rebecca told her. “We really appreciate it.”
The woman smiled. “You’re quite welcome, dear.”
The woman was off on her walk again, crossing the sand slowly until she reached the sidewalk. Rebecca put her camera back in her bag and then slipped her hand into Ted’s again. “What now?”
“It’s still kinda early,” he said. “You wanna head back to the house and swim? At least until you gotta be ready for dinner?”
She nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool, and Rebecca purposely chose the bikini from the picture Ted had practically drooled over earlier to change into. They floated around under the summer sun, separated at first, but then just like magnets, they were drawn to each other. Limbs intertwined, no rush in their touches or kisses. It was lazy and it was relaxing as they passed time twisted together. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as she kept him close, his lips ghosting over her lips, her jawline, and her collarbone. When his teeth grazed her skin, she shivered.
“Fuck,” she whispered.
He did the same thing across her left shoulder, teasing, and if she wasn’t so damn turned on, she would have been annoyed. “Ted,” she whined.
“I can stop,” he mumbled into her skin.
Rebecca’s hands tightened around the edge of the pool while she let her head fall back. “No,” she breathed. “Don’t.”
Ted traced a line down to her left hand, lips pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles, before he followed a path all the way to the knuckles on her right hand. And it felt so nice to be loved like this, to be so adored and so appreciated without having to ask for it. Ted was so full of love and he had no trouble showing it and giving it away. She knew what she felt herself, but it was also evident when he was around his mother too. And Rebecca thought somewhere deep in his heart, he had some love to give her own parents too.
She truly hated the fact that she would have to say goodbye to all of this so soon.
Neither of them dared to separate until Deborah’s voice rang out from the balcony.
“Rebecca, dear, it’s getting late.”
Rebecca frowned and Ted brushed across her lips with his thumb. “Hey, no frownin’. We’ve got plenty of time for more of this tomorrow. And the next day, and the one after that.”
“You promise?”
Ted nodded and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ve got eight days left with you, and I want us to spend as much time together as possible. Even if all we do is float around in this damn pool until the sun goes down.”
She leaned in to kiss him. “I love the sound of that.”
And as much as she tried not to focus on it, it seemed there was no choice at this point.
The countdown to the end of their summer was on.
August 19th
Rebecca stared at Deborah and Paul where they stood on the other side of the kitchen island, her hand gripped tightly around the handle of her mug. “No,” she said quietly. “Please don’t.”
Deborah smiled. “Why not? We only have a few days left here and your father and I love to dance.”
She swallowed hard at her mother’s comment about their time running out at the beach. As much as she tried to push it away, it was constantly at the forefront of her mind. Little reminders like their things slowly disappearing from the house, being packed away for their impending trip home. Even her own suitcase was starting to fill up again, outfits she knew she wouldn’t wear for the next five days joining books she had finished reading and needed to transport home.
“Okay, but I don’t need supervision,” she reminded them. “I’m going with Ted.”
“Yes, sweetheart, we know,” Deborah replied. “Your father and I will be sure to keep our distance so we don’t embarrass you.”
Rebecca lifted her mug from the counter to her lips. “Because that’s worked so well before,” she mumbled, smiling before she took a sip.
Paul appeared to open his mouth to respond when the doorbell chimed from the foyer. She dropped her mug back to the counter before she walked down the hall to the front door. Rebecca pulled it open to reveal Ted on the other side, and the smile that bloomed on her face hurt her cheeks.
“Hi.”
Ted smiled back at her. “Hey baby.”
She held out her hand for him to take and he followed her into the house, back towards the kitchen where her parents were still standing. They were facing each other now, their voices hushed, and when Deborah spotted Ted, their conversation stopped. “Hello, Ted.”
“Hi Deborah, Paul,” Ted greeted. “Sorry for stealin’ Rebecca from you again tonight.”
Deborah’s smile grew wider. “Oh, Sausage, why don’t you tell him the good news?”
Ted looked over at Rebecca who rolled her eyes before she said “Mum and dad are coming to the boardwalk tonight, too.”
He had a goofy smile on his face when he looked from Rebecca to Deborah to Paul and back again, and she wanted to kiss it right off his lips. “Oh, well that’s great news! My mama’ll be wanderin’ around there too with a few of her friends. I guess my grandma insisted she take a night for herself.”
“Oh, we’d love to meet her if she’s around,” Deborah told him. “If it’s not too much trouble.”
Ted shook his head. “She’s been beggin’ to meet y’all before you leave next week. I think she’ll be happy as a clam to cross paths tonight.”
Rebecca noticed Paul with his eyes focused on Ted while he spoke and she felt nerves swirling in her stomach. She wanted to get out of there, to get her and Ted out of the house and down to the boardwalk, but her feet were glued to the floor.
“Ted, could I speak to you for a moment?” Paul asked and Rebecca thought she might be sick. Ted pressed a kiss to her cheek before he nodded and followed Paul out onto the balcony and when the door closed, Rebecca tried not to stare.
“Do you know what that’s all about?” She managed to ask.
Deborah stepped up beside Rebecca, her arm sliding up over her shoulder. “No dear, but I’m sure it’s just a friendly conversation, Rebecca. Your father knows how much Ted means to you.” Deborah leaned in and landed a soft kiss on Rebecca's temple. “He means well.”
She watched out the window, studying as much of their body language as she could see from where she stood. It wasn’t until she saw Ted smile and Paul laugh that she felt any sort of relief, the nerves settling down. She had seen her father politely laugh countless times, but it had felt like years since she had seen him laugh like that. They exchanged a simple handshake before they turned back for the door and entered the house again.
“You two should head out,” Paul told them. “We’ll give you a head start so you can hide from us.”
Ted threaded his fingers through Rebecca’s. “Ready to go?” She nodded and they said their goodbyes, making the now-very familiar walk from the houses to the pier like they had so many times before already this summer. And Rebecca knew this could be it, the final time they might make that trek together, so she wanted to savor it. She wanted to know what Ted had discussed with her father, or rather, what sort of warning Paul had given Ted, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask.
Perhaps it would just be better if she never knew.
They followed a small crowd onto the stairs that led up to the boardwalk, still hand in hand, and the pier was the fullest Rebecca had seen it all summer. She stayed close to Ted as they maneuvered through groups of people until they found a clearing just beside a food cart with a fairly short line. “You want a pretzel?” Ted asked and Rebecca nodded, pulling him to the end of the line. “You’re bein’ quiet,” he said to her now. He reached up and pushed a fallen piece of hair away from her forehead, and then his thumb brushed across the apple of her cheek. “Everythin’ alright?”
Rebecca nodded and stepped into him, taking his face in her free hand. She kissed him softly, like he was something precious, and anything harder might shatter him into a million little pieces. And that’s exactly how she saw him, like a truly precious stone that she needed to protect. He could take care of himself, of that, Rebecca was certain, but she still wanted to do it for him. She wanted to alleviate him of the weight, even just for a little while. “Just taking this all in,” she told him quietly.
She briefly found herself wondering if this was how her mother felt about her father when they first met. If she was so completely head over heels in love with him, he was all she thought about. Rebecca wondered if Deborah used to daydream about her future with Paul, if she imagined Rebecca being a part of their lives before she came along. It had never occurred to her to ask, never feeling the need to connect with her that way, especially lately. But now she wondered if this trip had changed things for their family, if time away from their home and their routine had helped them find their way back to solid ground.
Of course, nothing would ever change if her father went back on his word and never told Deborah the truth.
“Two soft pretzels, please,” Ted said to the employee when they reached the front of the line. “And two Diet Cokes.”
Rebecca smiled and leaned on his shoulder, despite how warm it was outside. The sun was already starting to set and it was significantly cooler today than it had been all week, another tell-tale sign that they were one day closer to the end of summer. But as devastated as she was about summer and their trip ending, it was nice not to be covered in a thin layer of sweat just standing in place. When they were given their food and drinks, they stepped away and found a vacant picnic table along the edge of the boardwalk, looking out over the ocean. They sat across from each other and ate as the crowds grew larger and the music grew louder in the distance.
“You’ve looked pretty deep in thought since we left,” Ted pointed out and she felt heat rise in her cheeks.
Rebecca picked at the salt that had fallen from the pretzel and onto the thin paper that had been wrapped around the snack. “Do you ever just have one of those days where you start to overthink absolutely everything?”
Ted let out a low whistle. “More than I’d care to admit,” he told her. “What’re you overthinkin’?”
She exhaled before she explained. “My parents. I realized today that the dynamic between all of us has changed so significantly since we arrived. It hit me so suddenly that they haven’t fought once since we’ve been here, at least not while I’ve been around. And I just hope that it might carry over once we get home, but I worry my father is going to go back on his promise and while I’m away, everything will go right back to how it was. I mean, I’m not sure my parents have shared a dance together since their wedding day and now they’re planning to show up here to dance while some ridiculous cover band plays in the background.”
Rebecca felt like she sounded crazy, but Ted was looking at her intently, his full focus on her. “I think havin’ that fear is natural, but I don’t want you to let it ruin what’s left of your trip. Maybe your parents comin’ down here tonight is the step in the right direction they need to start over.”
“Except my mother doesn’t know what she’s starting over from.”
“Are you sure about that?” Ted asked.
Rebecca stared at him, frozen in place. “What do you mean?”
Ted shrugged and pulled off a piece of pretzel. “I just mean maybe she knows more than she’s lettin’ on. Moms are intuitive, they catch onto everythin’.”
She swallowed hard. “You think she knows?”
“Hey, I don’t know,” Ted said quietly. “I didn’t mean to imply anythin’. I just don’t think you should be carryin’ that weight around. You can’t control what either of them do, baby.”
Rebecca let out a deep sigh. “You’re right. I’ve just always wished things could be different.”
“Maybe this is what’ll change everythin’.”
She couldn’t help but feel a bit skeptical at what Ted was proposing, but there was a tiny glimmer of hope that had lodged itself into the depths of her heart. An image flashed in her mind of her parents, older and grayer, back in Myrtle Beach with Rebecca but they weren’t alone. Little flashes of blonde and brunette rushed past them as they strolled barefoot in the sand, laughter enveloping them like warmth from the afternoon sun.
“Hello sweet children,” Maggie greeted and Rebecca lost the image she had conjured up. “Rebecca, you look just darling tonight.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Thank you, Maggie.”
Maggie landed a kiss on the top of Ted’s head. “You better save a dance for your mama tonight.”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied. “Did you eat already?”
She shook her head. “I’m on my way to get a giant corn dog. And some french fries. Plus at least two fresh squeezed lemonades.”
Ted looked at Rebecca. “Mama loves her lemonade, but only if it’s fresh. She can’t stand that stuff made from powder. Just don’t ever ask her about the time her favorite child choked on a lemon seed when she made her own at home.”
“You’re gonna be tellin’ your own kids that story one day, aren’t you?”
Ted smiled. “Yes ma’am, I will. They’ll know all your best tales.”
Maggie kissed them both on their cheeks before she said goodbye. “I’ll see you kids later. Be safe, I love you.” She disappeared into the crowd and Rebecca found Ted’s gaze focused on her.
“What?” She asked, sipping her soda.
“I’m wonderin’ how much longer before you ask me about what your dad said to me,” Ted told her, a soft smile on his face. “I thought it woulda come up by now.”
Rebecca bit her lip and ducked her head down. “I didn’t think it was any of my business.”
“I would’ve given you an explanation if I wasn’t comfortable sharin’ with you,” he said. “But it wasn’t anythin’ bad, I’ll swear on that.”
She nodded. “I believe you. I just didn’t think I wanted to know what he might have said.”
Ted nodded now and reached his hand out to cover hers. “If you ever wanna know, just say the word. And if you want me to keep it quiet, I can do that too.”
“It’ll only be for a few more days,” she said softly. “Then it won’t even matter.”
He squeezed her hand. “Anythin’ regardin’ you will always matter to me. But tonight let's not worry about next week. Let’s just worry about us, right here and now.”
Rebecca smiled and nodded. “Okay.”
They finished their food and then joined the crowd, moving closer to the stage where the music was in full swing. The louder the band got, the more relaxed Rebecca was. The feel of the drum in her chest was soothing, comforting, and it was just another part of her summer she wished she could bottle up and carry with her to open when times get tough. It was a little snippet she’d look back on when her time at Uni was feeling like it was too much.
Ted slipped his hand back into hers and pulled her in, his lips up against her ear. “You wanna dance?”
Rebecca smiled and turned around to face him. The music was faster than they could slow dance to, but she and Ted made it work until the band transitioned into something much slower. Their stance changed, bodies moving closer until her head rested comfortably on his shoulder. When she closed her eyes, it almost felt like they were the only two here with the band.
“I love you,” Ted whispered. “And I hope you know nothin’s ever gonna change that.”
It brought tears to her eyes hearing him say it, even if it was a truth she had known for a while now. And the truth was the same for her. No matter who came along after Ted, no matter what path their lives took, she was always going to love Ted, and she was so thankful he was the first she could share this love with.
Even if, somewhere down the road, he wasn’t the last.
“Will you tell me what he said?” She asked softly.
Without even seeing Ted’s face, she could tell he was smiling. “He wanted to thank me for lovin’ you and bein’ so good to you. He said he knew you were dreadin’ this trip, and he was worried you were gonna have a terrible time. But he can see how much you’ve enjoyed your summer and he just wanted to make sure I knew how appreciative both him and your mama are that you had someone to spend time with here.”
The tears in her eyes returned and she hugged Ted tighter to her body. It was of course something she had expressed to Ted herself, but she had never imagined her father pointing it out, and especially not to Ted himself. “He loves you, Rebecca, and I want you to always remember that. Even when those memories haunt you, that love is still there.”
That last sentence sounded like a reminder for him as much as it was for her. “I know,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t need to thank me for anythin’.”
Rebecca leaned back so she could look him in the eye. “Ted, you changed my life this summer. And maybe that sounds bloody insane because we’re eighteen and we both have so much life ahead of us. But I’m never going to forget you. I’m going to tell my children and my grandchildren about you. I’m going to compare every future boyfriend to you because I won’t be able to help it. Those pictures we’ve taken all summer will always be somewhere close to me. No matter what comes next, you will always have a place in my heart.”
Ted leaned in to kiss her, their bodies still swaying to the music. She got lost in the moment, in the sound of the song coming from the speakers and the feel of Ted’s lips pressed against hers. It was magical and sacred, and the pull in her chest was hard to ignore. But she pushed it away when Ted ended their kiss, pressing a gentle one to the tip of her nose.
A tap on her left shoulder startled them both and when she turned around, she saw her father standing there. “Mind if I cut in?”
Ted kissed her cheek and stepped away over to where she now saw Maggie was standing with a small group of women. She fell into a familiar stance with her father as yet another slow song played. Rebecca stepped closer to him, resting her cheek against his chest. And when he dropped a kiss to the crown of her head, she let her eyes slip closed.
“I love you,” she breathed, and it felt like another piece of her was slowly healing over.
“I love you too, sweet pea.”
They danced in time with the music, the slow melody calming the longer they moved together. She briefly opened her eyes and saw Ted and Maggie, both laughing at something said between them. And then she saw her own mother standing just outside of the makeshift dance floor, a wide smile on her face. Rebecca couldn’t really remember the last time she had seen her mother smile like that, but it was becoming more common during their time away from home.
Her mother was truly beautiful when she wore such a genuine smile.
“Did you tell her?” Rebecca asked quietly and she wasn’t even sure if her father could hear her.
“I did,” he answered just as softly. “Well, she confronted me about it and I told her it was true.”
Rebecca finally peeked up at him. “Does she know I know?” A beat, and then, “Does she hate you?”
He nodded and then shook his head. “I don’t think she hates me, no, but we have some things to work on when we get back home. As for you knowing, I think she had put the pieces together to figure it out. And before you ask, she is not mad at you. In fact, she’s proud of you for saying something. We both are.”
She exhaled, letting go of a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “Honestly, I’m not sure I would have said anything if it weren’t for Ted.” Her eyes went wide. “I’m sorry I told him.”
Paul smiled at her. “Don’t apologize. I sort of assumed you had, my dear.”
“You should go dance with her.”
Paul pressed a kiss to her forehead before they separated and he walked over to where Deborah was standing. Rebecca watched as he offered out his hand and she quickly accepted before they joined the couples on the outskirts of the dance floor. They slowly danced even when the tempo changed again and the music grew louder. She watched her mother laugh at something her father whispered in her ear and for the first time in years, it filled her with relief. Nothing was ever going to erase the past, and there were still plenty of hurdles for them all to jump over, but it truly felt like this was a step in the right direction.
Arms wrapped around her waist and a chin hooked around her shoulder. She settled back into him and covered his hands with her own. She breathed him in, the scent of sunscreen and something woodsy from his cologne, and she took in the weight of the whole moment. It was a memory she knew she could always look back on, even thirty years down the road.
“They look happy,” Ted whispered.
Rebecca nodded. “They do, don’t they?”
“You think that could be us one day?”
She turned around in his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “I’d like to think so,” she told him. “Although we could probably do without the whole cheating thing.”
Ted smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “Yeah, I don’t think we’re gonna have a problem there.”
Rebecca reached up to push a fallen hair back from his face. “I love you, Theodore Lasso.”
“I love you too, Rebecca Welton,” he replied. “I think I will forever.”
“Forever,” she repeated. “I like the way that sounds.”
He leaned in, a smile on his face as he kissed her forehead. “Me too.”
August 23rd
“Thank you so much for having us over,” Maggie said, a glass of wine in her hand. “I would have loved to have hosted y’all at our place but that poor house has seen better days.”
All five of them sat around the large dining table in the beach house Rebecca had called home for the last three months. They were set to leave in two days, so Deborah had suggested a dinner with both Ted and Maggie before they said their final goodbyes. Rebecca was still trying to figure out if this was a good idea or a bad one.
Right now, with Ted’s hand warm and heavy on her thigh under the table, it felt like a good idea.
Later, after they’d say goodnight and she’d hug Maggie for what could be the last time, it would feel like a bad idea.
But she quickly pushed that thought away.
Rebecca was used to dinner parties with her parents, the kitchen and dining room filled with a catering team and people she really didn’t know very well. But this was different, and perhaps had become her favorite kind of dinner party. Their food had been delivered by a boy not much older than her and Ted, and the table was covered with pizza boxes and styrofoam containers once filled with salads. Maggie had brought lemon bars for dessert and a bottle of wine for her and Deborah to share.
“Oh please, if there’s one thing Paul and I do well, it’s host a dinner party,” Deborah told them. “Plus I think it’s nice for us all to get this time together.”
Ted squeezed around Rebecca’s thigh. “It’s gonna be so weird not havin’ y’all a few houses down anymore.”
Paul reached for his own drink. “When do you return to Kansas?”
“Not until the end of September,” Maggie answered. “With Ted not starting college until next year, we have some extra time to stay and help out here before Henry’s parents are completely settled. Plus, there’s still a lot to do to get the house ready to sell.”
Rebecca couldn’t imagine another family moving into that house and making their own memories. And what seemed worse was the idea of multiple families just coming and going, never truly making it their own.
But maybe, she thought, they would end up with the same luck she had had, making memories she knew she’d hold onto forever.
She just wished they could do it in a house that wasn’t so important to Ted, one that held so many of his own memories.
“Ted, have you thought about what you plan to study at Uni?” Deborah asked.
“Right now I’m leanin’ towards sports management,” he answered. “But I’m still keepin’ my options open in case I find somethin’ more appealin’. I heard Wichita State has a really great ballroom dancin’ program.”
Rebecca had never heard her mother snort in laughter before tonight.
Paul leaned forward in his seat when the laughter died down. “I know we’ve discussed the club, so if you ever find yourself needing some hands-on experience, or even just a change in scenery, you feel free to reach out. I’d be more than happy to help in any way I can,” Paul told him. “I don’t have quite as many American contacts, but I could certainly ask around.”
“Thank you, Paul. I will keep that in mind.”
Maggie smiled. “Rebecca dear, you’re planning to pursue teaching, correct?”
Rebecca nodded. “I am. I’d love to focus on early education, but I won’t be picky when the time comes.”
“She’s wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember,” Deborah mused. “While every other little girl at her age was hosting tea parties with their dolls, Rebecca was hosting lectures for hers. I swear we had the most well-educated collection of dolls in the entire neighborhood.”
Rebecca smiled, her cheeks flushing with heat. “It just seemed like a better use of my time. Plus, it helped me work on my spelling and maths.”
“Well, I hope you both get to fulfill those dreams,” Maggie said.
Rebecca didn’t want to admit out loud that at this point, her biggest dream was simply Ted. Anything else would just be an added bonus.
Ted squeezed her leg again and it pulled her attention back. “We should get outta here if we wanna catch the sunset.”
She nodded. “Yes please.”
“The back door’s unlocked,” Maggie told them. “Please be careful up there.”
Rebecca grabbed her bag and they said their goodbyes before they left the house and made their way down to his grandparents’ place. They kept their fingers threaded together as they walked around to the back door, slipping in and making their way up to the top floor. He let her lead them up the staircase towards the spare bedroom, where the only window opened up onto a little balcony that looked out over the ocean. The sun would set behind them, but the sky was already very slowly starting to change color as they settled in together, a bright shade of blue beginning a descent into a deep navy. Rebecca loved watching the way the moon and stars shined in the night sky and reflected off the slow-rolling waves, but right now she was mesmerized by the beginning stages of its transition into a soft shade of lavender.
“You know, before this summer, I can’t remember the last time I watched a sunset,” Rebecca admitted softly as she nestled herself into Ted’s arms, her back flush against his chest.
She smiled when he hooked his chin over her shoulder and his hands clasped together to rest against her stomach. “I used to watch ‘em a lot in Kansas, especially after my dad died. It was one of the only things that still felt good to do once he was gone, and the way the skies looked always brought a smile to my face, even through all the hurt. But now,” he paused to land a light kiss to her cheek. “Now they’re always gonna remind me of you and this summer. And every time I look up at the purples and the pinks and oranges in the sky, I’m gonna think about how it felt to hold you in my arms.”
Tears fell from her eyes before she had a chance to try and hold them in, and when she reached up to wipe them away, Ted kissed her temple. “I wish we could stay here,” she whispered. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to return home and go back to normal after this.”
“But nothin’ has to go back to normal, baby,” he said quietly. “You’re workin’ on stuff with your dad and your mama and you’re startin’ school in just a few weeks. You’ve got a fresh start ahead, you don’t gotta go back to how things were.”
“Except I have to do all of that without you,” she replied.
Ted dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “Honey, I don’t know how to break it to you, but you ain’t ever gonna be without me again unless you ask for it. We’re gonna write to each other and eventually I’m sure they’re gonna invent easier ways for us to communicate across the pond. We’ve just gotta be patient.”
She smiled. “I promise I do not want to be without you. But it would be nice if you weren’t going to be 4,438 miles away.”
“That’s a pretty exact number.”
Rebecca huffed. “I found an old atlas in the library in the house, and I was curious.”
She could tell Ted was smiling against her. “That doesn’t seem like too far of a flight.”
“The flight here was very fucking boring and that wasn’t even as long as one to Kansas,” she replied. “Not to be too blunt.”
Ted’s laughter vibrated through her as he rested his chin against her shoulder again. “You should be blunt. Flyin’ sucks anyways, no matter how far you’re goin’.”
“How did I not know you hate flying?”
He shrugged. “None of our dates ever involved flyin’ so I guess it never came up.”
Rebecca frowned. “Will you be okay when you return home?”
“Oh yeah,” Ted answered. “Mama and I are doin’ a three day drive, findin’ some cool places to stop on our way. She wants to spend some time in Nashville so that should be fun.”
They settled into a comfortable silence again, watching as the sky made its transition into deep blue. Stripes of purple and pink faded and gave way to the familiar shade of navy, specks of silver starting to peek through. And she knew that no matter how many sunrises and sunsets she watched when she returned to London, they would never feel as magical as this. A breeze swept over them and sent a chill down her spine, causing her to shiver in Ted’s arms. “You wanna head inside?”
Rebecca shook her head. “No, not yet,” she whispered. “Just a little while longer.”
It only grew colder as more time passed, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. Because if she moved, Ted would insist on walking her home and kissing her goodnight on the front steps. He’d return home and she’d have to spend the rest of the evening alone, staring at the ceiling, knowing that in just two days, she would be back in her own bed in London. And as much as she was looking forward to starting Uni and living with Sassy, she couldn’t quite fathom the idea that she wouldn’t see Ted nearly every day.
She really couldn’t fathom the idea that she might just never see him again at all.
“Baby,” he said, his voice soft. “C’mon, let me get you inside. We can watch a movie before I take you home.”
Rebecca gave in and they carefully made their way back inside and down to the family room. Ted stopped in the kitchen to make popcorn and grab them some sodas while Rebecca curled up on the couch, pulling a blanket over her. She listened to him moving around, the sound of popping corns and cabinets opening and closing while he finished preparing their snacks.
It gave her another glimpse into a future she so desperately wanted, where their movie nights included more than just them. Little muffled giggles that rang out from oversized piles of blankets on the couch. Instead of one bowl of popcorn, there were multiples, along with different candies and drinks. An animated movie played on television that only one little face seemed to be paying attention to.
Ted falling onto the cushions beside her interrupted her thoughts and he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Feelin’ warm enough now?”
She nodded. “Thank you. And thank you for making the popcorn.”
“Well, you can’t really watch a movie without some popcorn, can you?” He asked, leaning forward to grab the remote. “What kind of movie are you in the mood for?”
Rebecca shrugged. “Anything really.”
After some channel surfing, they settled on Sixteen Candles and Rebecca wasted no time curling herself up against Ted. They watched quietly, sharing popcorn until the bowl was empty, and when the back door opened, Rebecca felt herself deflate. She loved Maggie, but her being home meant that Rebecca would have to head back soon.
“Hey kids,” she greeted. “I’m heading upstairs, you two behave. Teddy, make sure everythin’ gets locked before you go to bed please.”
Ted nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
Maggie dropped kisses to both of their heads from where she stood behind the couch. “Love you both,” she said softly. “Rebecca, you make sure I see you before you leave us. You’re not gettin’ out of here without a final hug. And probably a few tears.”
“I promise,” Rebecca said through a laugh. “Goodnight, Maggie.”
Maggie disappeared and Ted and Rebecca finished their movie before she realized she really did need to get home. They walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, so many unspoken words hanging between them. She considered begging Ted to come to London for school, making a promise they could build a life together. For a solid sixty seconds, she thought about losing her passport, tossing it out into the ocean so she couldn’t return home with her parents. But she knew none of it was an option, that those were the kinds of things that only happened in movies or books.
This was real life and she just had to accept that.
Ted stopped them at the doorstep, the harsh light of the front porch illuminating his every feature. She saw the freckles that adorned his face, and the swirls of gold that wove through his irises. She could tell he was lost in thought, so she reached up to trace his jawline, running a fingertip over his bottom lip in an effort to make him smile. “What are you thinking about, love?” she asked quietly.
“I was wonderin’ how upset you’d be with me if I snuck in and stole your passport,” he answered honestly and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Because I’m havin’ a real hard time wrappin’ my head around the fact that 48 hours from now, you’ll be gone.”
“We still have tomorrow,” she whispered. “One final day to spend every single minute together. We’ll fit as much into one day as we can and it will be a perfect farewell.”
Ted smiled. “A perfect farewell would be no farewell, but I know what you mean. Hey, you wanna meet me for the sunrise tomorrow? We can start our day on the beach and then go for one last round of pancakes.”
Rebecca nodded and leaned in to kiss him. “That sounds perfect.” Ted brushed her hair from her face and kissed her again before she pushed the door open and stepped inside. “Goodnight, Ted Lasso.”
“Sleep tight, Rebecca Welton,” he replied. “I love you.”
Butterflies fluttered in her chest and she’d never get tired of feeling this way about him. “I love you too.”
She watched him walk back down the sidewalk before she closed and locked the door and started up the stairs to her room when a soft voice stopped her.
“Sausage?”
Rebecca turned to face her mother, who had her robe pulled tight around her, and she could tell she had been up waiting on her. “Hi mum, sorry for being so late.”
Deborah smiled and shook her head. “It’s alright dear. Are you okay?”
Rebecca nodded, even if it felt like a lie. “Do you think things will be different when we get home?”
“I think so,” her mother answered. “I’d like to believe this trip has changed us all for the better. But we won’t know until we get there.”
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca whispered quickly. “I shouldn’t have kept Dad’s secret from you.”
Deborah’s face softened and she opened her arms for Rebecca to step into. “Oh my dear, you have nothing to apologize for. That never should have been your secret to keep. You were only sixteen and he acted recklessly. But we’re going to be okay, I promise you that.”
Rebecca smiled and hugged Deborah tight. “I love you, mum.”
“I love you too, Sausage.”
She laughed into her mother’s shoulder. “I’m never going to grow out of that nickname, am I?”
Deborah smiled as she pulled back. “I’m afraid not, my dear.”
By the time she crawled into bed, she felt exhausted but hopeful about whatever her next chapter was going to be. She never could have imagined that this trip would have changed her life so much, but she should have known it would happen when she least expected it. This house and this city would now always hold a permanent place in her heart and she knew she’d come back to visit in the future. Her last thought as she drifted to sleep was of Ted, in the bed beside her, surrounded by little ones who all appeared to be sound asleep.
And all she could do was hope and pray that one day that dream might become her reality.
August 24th
“You’re not going to make it.”
Ted turned to look at her, a bright smile on his face. “What makes you say that?”
Rebecca pointed up towards a sign where the rules were explained. “Because no one can make twenty baskets in thirty seconds! That’s impossible. And that’s why they have so many of those big stuffies left, because their game is unbeatable.”
He leaned in to kiss her temple. “Someone’s a little bit pessimistic today,” he said in a whisper.
“I am not,” she protested. But she knew it was a lie and that Ted was right. She wanted to be happy today, on her last full day in Myrtle Beach. But her mind kept fast-forwarding in time to the part where they’d have to say goodbye. The part where she’d hold onto him for as long as she could and she’d cry tears that she had been pushing away for days now.
“Alright look, if I win, you get to pick any of those stuffed animals you want and it’s yours,” Ted told her and she smiled. “And if I lose, you get to choose what we do next.”
Rebecca leaned her hip against the counter that separated them from the basketball hoops. “So either way, I win.”
He shook his head and handed over a $5 bill to the older gentleman running the booth. “The way I see it is that we’d both win, no matter the outcome.” A horn sounded and Ted took the first basketball in his hands, shooting towards the hoop in a continuous rhythm as the clock counted down. He moved through the same motions repetitiously and quickly, the number of baskets increasing while the clock decreased. And of course she should have known he was good at this too. Ted Lasso was apparently good at everything. When the clock finally hit zero, Ted’s score was 22, and Rebecca couldn’t help but laugh. He had barely even broken a sweat.
“Alright kids, you can have your pick of anything here,” the old man gestured to the wall of stuffed animals. “Take two for all I care,” he added softly.
“What’ll it be, Miss Welton?” Ted asked and there was a confidence in his voice that bordered on cocky. She had to admit, it sounded good on him. “Another turtle? A dolphin?”
She shook her head and looked over the entire wall, waiting for the answer to jump out at her. There were stuffies of all sizes, ones that could fit in your pocket all the way up to ones that would need to be strapped in beneath a seatbelt. But then she spotted it, tucked in the corner beside a tiger, soft brown fur poking out. “The lion in the back.”
The old man stared at her. “Out of everything here, you want that little lion?”
Rebecca nodded. “Yes please.”
He pulled the lion from the wall and handed it over, along with the stuffed moose Ted chose for himself. They walked away from the booth hand in hand, the lion pressed close to her chest. “You seemed pretty excited about that little guy,” Ted pointed out.
“I’ve named him Theodore,” she told him. “Because as you might remember, lions symbolize courage and strength and so now every time I see him, it’ll remind me of you.” Ted let go of her hand and curled his arm around her shoulders to pull her in, landing a kiss on top of her head.
“I love you,” he whispered and she could hear tears in his voice.
Rebecca smiled as she stayed tucked into his side while they walked down the boardwalk. It was overcast today, and humid, the smell of rain in the air. They were expecting storms after dark, so Ted and Rebecca were trying to fit in as much as they could before they got stuck inside for the night.
“You wanna grab some pizza for lunch?” Ted asked before he kissed her temple. “Or somethin’ else?”
Rebecca nodded slowly. “Pizza sounds great. Plus it’s right next to the ice cream place,” she added with a smile.
He laughed and kissed her again. “Pizza and ice cream it is, then.”
“Are you going to agree to anything I ask for because you’re sad I’m leaving tomorrow?” she asked with a soft smirk on her lips.
“Hell yeah I am.”
She stopped walking and tugged him into her, their chests bumping together and knocking a giggle loose from inside of her. “Then kiss me.”
Ted smiled at her and tucked his fingers into her hair to pull her closer. “Yes ma’am.”
His kiss was soft and sweet, and she could still taste the strawberries from breakfast on him. Kissing Ted was hypnotizing, and it made her feel dizzy. The way his hands and his hips and his tongue all worked together to create a perfect harmony between their bodies. It was addictive the way they fit together, as if they were made for each other and no one else.
It killed her knowing that tomorrow could be it for them.
Ted licked into her mouth like he could hear her thoughts and he was trying to stop them. The sensation was enough to make one of her knees give out and she faltered, leaving Ted smiling against her lips. “You good?” he mumbled.
She pushed on his chest while he laughed. “Fuck off.”
“Come on,” he said while he threw his arm over her shoulders. His fingers brushed against her bare skin, leaving little goosebumps in their wake. “Let’s go eat.”
Rebecca held her stuffed lion close to her chest as they crossed the boardwalk slowly, neither of them in much of a rush. They passed storefronts that Rebecca had come to recognize and love and she even stopped to sniff the sunflower bouquets one final time. When she pulled away, Ted stopped her. “Hold on, you got one of your cameras?”
She nodded and pulled the disposable from her bag, the last camera she had to use up. “Here.”
“Go back over there,” he instructed. “Do that again.”
“So bossy,” she mumbled before she smiled and tucked her nose into the sunflower petals again. She took in one more deep breath when she heard the ‘click’ of the shutter and the quick flash of light went off. When she stepped back, Ted wore a look on his face that she didn’t recognize. “What’s wrong?”
“Just a shame I’m not gonna be able to see how that one turns out.”
She took the camera back and dropped it into her bag. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll mail you a copy when I get this developed.”
“You will?”
“Of course I will. I promise you are going to have a very difficult time trying to get rid of me, even when there’s an entire ocean between us,” Rebecca told him.
Ted smiled at her. “I can’t imagine a time I’d ever think about gettin’ rid of you, Rebecca.”
She covered his lips with her finger. “Save the emotional stuff for later please. I cannot cry right now.”
He kissed her fingertip. “Yes ma’am.”
They made their way down the rest of the boardwalk to the small pizza place she and Ted had frequented for most of the summer. Ted placed their order while Rebecca found them an empty booth to sit in. When he joined her, he landed a kiss to her cheek before he slid into the seat across from her. “Are you gettin’ excited about school?”
Rebecca sighed. “Yes and no. I’m excited to get started on this journey but I worry about the curriculum. I think it’s going to be very grueling and time consuming.”
The waitress dropped their drinks at the table, along with plates, napkins, and silverware. “Thank ya,” Ted said before she walked away. “How many years are you lookin’ at?”
“Six, I think,” she told him. “Five if I can get into an accelerated program and work my arse off. And I know in the end it’ll be worth it but right now it’s very daunting.” When she looked up, he was smiling at her. “What?”
He shrugged his shoulders and stuck his straw in his Coca Cola. “Just thinkin’ about you as a teacher. I wish I would’ve had a teacher even half as hot as you in school.”
Rebecca giggled and threw her straw wrapper across the table at him. “You’re ridiculous. And you are a perfect example of why I will not be teaching teenagers, thank you very much.”
Ted was laughing now, head thrown back as the sound drifted out of him. She wished she could find a way to bottle it up, to pack it away in her suitcase so she could have it with her back home. Home, she thought.
Could home be a place and a person?
“Here you go, kids,” their waitress said. “Enjoy.” She slid their pizza onto the tabletop and then walked away.
Ted used the spatula to transfer a large slice of pepperoni and onion onto a plate and handed it to Rebecca. “Ladies first.”
She accepted the plate and let the piece cool while Ted prepared his own plate. “You’re gonna be great, y’know?” he said while he lowered the plate in front of him. “At teachin’, at bein’ a wife and a mother. You’re incredible, Rebecca, and you’ll get your incredible life too.”
“Fuck,” she whispered, wiping quickly at the tears that decided to betray her and slip down her cheeks. “I said no emotions right now, Ted.”
He held up his arms in defense. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I guess I just got a lot I wanna say.”
“Well, write it down for later then,” she teased. “Don’t make me cry all over the pizza.”
Ted patted himself down, over his chest, his stomach, and down to the pockets of his khaki shorts before he exhaled in defeat. “Well shoot, I don’t have a pen on me.”
Rebecca smiled and shook her head before she took a bite of pizza. “How do you feel about school?”
“I wish I was startin’ in two weeks instead of five months, but it’s my own fault,” Ted answered while he wiped the grease from his fingers in his napkin. “I wasted too much time puttin’ off those applications and now I’m payin’ the price.”
“It’s too bad you can’t come to London for a few months,” she said casually. “It would be like a study abroad program just without the academics.”
Ted smiled at her with bright eyes. “Now there’s an idea.”
Rebecca swatted at him. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because your mum needs you, remember?” she said easily. “And your grandparents. Plus if you come to London I’d never get any studying done and do you want to be the one responsible for my failing and thus not becoming a teacher?”
His mouth hung open for a minute. “That’s not very nice.”
Rebecca giggled and sipped her drink. “But you know I’m right.”
“Actually if we’re bein’ honest, I’m worried I wouldn’t wanna leave,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow’s already gonna be hard enough.”
“Ted,” she whispered. “Now I just want to hide you in my suitcase. I’ll leave all of my belongings behind.”
Ted laughed and took another bite of pizza. “I won’t let you do that.”
Rebecca sighed and mirrored his movements. She chewed slowly before she spoke again. “Promise me this isn’t the end,” she said so gently she barely even heard herself.
He reached across the table to take her hand in his. Fingers slick with grease, they tangled together before Ted squeezed. “I promise you this ain’t the end, baby.”
She cataloged those words deep in her heart so at the very least, she could carry that promise with her forever.
**********
She was falling in and out of sleep, Ted’s fingers pulling slowly through the strands of her hair. Her cheek was pressed to his chest while they laid on the couch, his heartbeat beneath her ear. The steady thump beat in time with the rain falling outside, a light pitter patter on the rooftop. It had slowed significantly since they had dinner together only an hour ago. Rebecca felt content like this, all wrapped up in Ted, like they were the only two people left on Earth.
Of course that wasn’t true, as her parents were set up at the dining room table, playing some sort of card game. The room was filled with their laughter, most of it coming from Deborah, but occasionally, Paul’s echoed out louder and it warmed Rebecca from the inside out. Before this summer, or rather, the last few weeks, she couldn’t remember when she had last heard her father truly laugh.
Her eyes slipped closed as the movie they were watching faded to a commercial and she felt Ted’s lips pressed to her hair. “You don’t gotta stay up,” he told her. “It’s pretty late anyways.”
“No,” she whispered, a bit slurred with sleep. “I’m okay.”
He huffed out a laugh above her. “I gotta get goin’ too, honeybunch.”
Rebecca whined and tightened her arm around him. “No.”
“Baby, it’s almost midnight.”
“And it’s raining.”
“It’s not that far, I’ll run.”
“You can’t run in the rain, that’s dangerous.”
“Ted?”
Rebecca’s eyes shot open at the sound of her mother’s voice. “If your mother’s okay with it, why don’t you stay here tonight? We’ll be leaving early in the morning but I gather you were going to be there to see us off anyways.”
Her cheeks flushed pink against the fabric of his shirt. “Yeah, thank you, Deborah. I’ll just call her real quick.”
“The phone’s in the kitchen, dear.”
Ted moved from beneath her and headed into the kitchen to call Maggie while Rebecca sat up and adjusted her eyes to the light. She could hear Ted’s half of the conversation as she stood up to approach her parents. She hugged her father first, whispering ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ before she moved over to her mother, repeating the same words when Ted hung up the phone.
“Mama Lasso is on board,” Ted said as he joined them all near the table. “But she said y’all are not allowed to leave without sayin’ goodbye.”
Deborah crossed an ‘X’ over her heart. “We promise.”
Rebecca leaned into Ted’s side, yawning while she rested momentarily on his shoulder. “We’re going to go up then,” she said quietly. “We’ll see you in the morning.”
Ted followed Rebecca up the stairs to the top floor where Rebecca went through an abridged version of her nightly routine before she settled beside Ted in the queen bed she had been using all summer. Emotions rose in her throat and she swallowed them back, her desperate attempt to keep the tears at bay for a little while longer. A betraying hiccup caught in her chest and gave her away.
“Hey,” Ted soothed. “I’ve got ya, I’m right here.”
Rebecca let the sob rip through her now, tears falling quickly and freely while she cried against Ted. She had bottled up so many emotions about this specific moment, this final night in a place that had completely changed her life. And while she hadn’t anticipated spending this last night with Ted beside her, she was glad she wasn’t alone.
“Let it out, baby, it’s okay.” His voice was muffled against her hair.
Her body shook gently until she finally calmed down, until the tears subsided and she could breathe without a hiccup. She wiped beneath her eyes and across her nose, laughing lightly. “I’m such a mess.”
Ted dropped a kiss to her hair. “Nothin’ wrong with havin’ emotions, Rebecca. It just means you’re human.”
She let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Please stop apologizin’,” he whispered back. “You’re actin’ like it’s some sorta hardship to sit here and hold ya. And I’ve got some news for you, sweetheart. I don’t mind one bit.”
Rebecca pressed a kiss through the fabric of his shirt, right along his collarbone. “Thank you,” she breathed.
They burrowed themselves deeper into the mattress, each turned on their sides so they could face one another. She reached out and traced a finger over his lips and when they curved upward into a smile, she poked each dimple gently. Her touch memorized each of his features, the lines at his eyes, the curve of his lips, the freckles peppered across the bridge of his nose. She memorized the soft hazel color that stared back at her, the fallen chestnut brown locks that sat against his forehead. Her mind memorized the sound of his breathing, the steady ‘thump’ of his heart as her fingertips ghosted over his chest. Each little piece of Ted had its own place within the walls of her heart, a place she swore to keep them safe for the rest of her life.
And if one day, she got to replace those pieces with a new version, she would consider herself lucky.
“What’s goin’ on in there?” Ted asked as he tapped against her temple. “You’re thinkin’ pretty hard.”
“Just memorizing you,” she whispered. She pushed the hair back from his face. “I don’t know if you know this, but you, Theodore Lasso, are quite handsome.”
In just the moonlight filtering into the room, she watched his cheeks flush pink. “That’s awfully kind of ya.”
Rebecca kissed the apple of his cheek. “I’d even say you’re beautiful, love.”
The shade of pink darkened on his tanned skin. “Now you’re gettin’ carried away,” he said sheepishly.
She shook her head against her pillow. “No sir. I’d say you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.”
“You haven’t met too many men, have ya?” he teased and she swatted at his chest. “C’mon there ain’t no way you mean that when you’re probably livin’ down the street from a couple of princes.”
Rebecca laughed now, the sound vibrating in her chest. “Do you think England ust has an abundance of royals on every corner?”
He smiled at her. “It’d be pretty cool if ya did, don’t ya think?”
“Ted, the Royal Family has their own, very private housing and it is nowhere near the rest of the world,” Rebecca told him. “I can assure you the only people that live down the street from me are doctors and lawyers. Perhaps a few Uni professors.”
Ted frowned at her. “Well that’s disappointin’.”
She brushed a thumb against his down-turned lips. “How about I promise to take you near Buckingham Palace when you come visit me someday?”
“Oh that’d be fun,” he told her. “You can be my personal tour guide.”
“Well I owe you for this summer,” she said softly.
His eyes softened at her words and she wondered what he was thinking about. She thought maybe she’d like to know every thought he was having, good or bad. “This summer was no problem,” he said, his finger curling a piece of hair around to the knuckle. “And certainly will be one I’ll never forget.”
Rebecca smiled at him. “Neither will I.”
Ted kissed the tip of her nose. “You should try sleepin’,” he whispered. “You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
She nodded and sighed, scooting closer so their bodies could tangle together. Ankles locked, legs and arms twisted and wrapped up like growing ivy. Her face pressed into the juncture where his neck and shoulder met and she inhaled until the intoxicating smell of him filled her senses. It was calming, just like lavender, and it immediately reminded her of home. The purple sprigs that bloomed every spring in her grandmother’s garden, the stems she would choose to bring home on Sunday afternoons. They would sit in a vase beside her bed, so close to where she would lay her head before she fell asleep.
This version of lavender was so much better.
Rebecca fell asleep listening to and feeling Ted’s heartbeat. And she dreamt of a future, their future, one that consisted of kids running around and exhausting them. She saw herself with two little girls in her lap while their son followed Ted around closely. The five of them on the beach at sunset, toes buried in the sand as colors of the sky slowly faded to darkness.
The idea filled her with so much joy and when she woke, she did so with a smile and a light feeling.
Until she remembered that in just a few hours, she would be on her way back home.
August 25th
Ted’s thumb brushed back and forth over the skin at her lower back where her shirt had slid up. Neither of them had tried to move, and she was soaking in every last second of their time together. “What time do y’all have to get goin’?” he asked.
Rebecca peeked up at the alarm clock on the table, bright red numbers staring back at her. “A little over an hour,” she said with a sigh. “I have to change and finish packing my things.”
“I’ll help,” he said quietly. “I’m here anyways, might as well make myself useful.”
She smiled and pressed her nose deeper. “You’re always useful. For instance, you make an excellent pillow.”
His chest shook with laughter. “Well that’s a compliment I’ve never heard before.”
“Don’t forget it,” she told him. “But don’t let just anyone use you as a pillow. Only the best should get that privilege.”
Ted shifted now so that he was towering over her, his hands on either side of her head. “So what you’re sayin’ is that only you should be usin’ me like that,” he commented before he dipped down to kiss her.
Rebecca smiled against his lips. “Perhaps.”
His kiss grew deeper, harder, and she slipped her fingers up into his hair. This was going to be trouble, kissing him like this when she was on a time crunch, but right now she didn’t care. The jet wouldn’t leave without them and her parents wouldn’t just leave her behind.
Ted’s hands slid up underneath the thin fabric of the tee she was wearing and the way his touch felt against her skin was euphoric. She wished there was a way she could bottle it up, only to open it up again when she really missed him and she needed to feel him. Which, if she was being honest, would be more often than not.
“Ted,” she whimpered as his hand slid higher and his lips traced along the column of her throat. “We can’t get carried away.”
“I know,” he breathed against her skin. “I’ve just been dyin’ to spend another mornin’ like this with you.”
So she let him go. She let his hands and lips roam, letting the noises slip from her mouth. She let her body react to him naturally, back arching and hips shifting beneath him. It wouldn’t go further than this, not with the clock ticking and her parents downstairs, so she enjoyed the moment for what it was.
Because she knew damn well it would be a long time before she let anyone else touch her like this again.
Ted finally stopped when he rested his head carefully against her chest. His ear pressed over her heart and she wondered just how unruly her heartbeat sounded to him. They laid together in the quiet for another minute before Ted moved first. “Come on, let’s get you ready, baby.”
Rebecca slipped into the adjoining bathroom to change and gather the last of her toiletries after using them. When she returned, she found Ted flipping through her torn and tattered copy of A Wrinkle in Time. “You should take it,” she told him as she folded the clothes she had slept in.
Ted shook his head quickly. “No, I can’t do that.”
She smiled. “Ted, please. I’ve got another copy at home anyways. Take it, I insist.”
“Only if you’re sure.”
Rebecca nodded. “I’m very sure.”
She finished packing, the Wichita State shirt folded on the top, and then Ted carried her bags down to the main floor despite her protests. When they reached the final step, she noticed Maggie and Deborah gathered in front of a plain white box while Paul sat at the end of the counter, sipping his coffee quietly, an empty plate in front of him.
“Good morning,” Deborah greeted. “You’ve packed up all of your things?”
Rebecca nodded as they moved further into the kitchen. “I checked each room twice.”
Maggie smiled. “I brought donuts for breakfast,” she told them. “I thought somethin’ easy might help this mornin’.”
Ted stepped around the counter to drop a kiss to his mom’s cheek. “Thanks mama.”
“Oh, and your envelope is in my purse.”
They settled in around the island with their donuts and Deborah slid two steaming mugs across the flat surface. She clocked Ted’s reaction almost immediately, the way his eyebrows scrunched together with disgust at the mere sight of it.
“Oh mum,” Rebecca said before she covered her mouth, trapping her laughter.
“What’s wrong?” Deborah questioned.
Maggie smiled wider. “Teddy hates tea, unless it’s ice cold and loaded down with sugar.”
Paul looked up from his own mug. “Well if Deb made it, there’s bound to be quite a bit of sugar in there.”
Ted was still staring at the mug like it might morph into something else if he touched it. “I don’t hate tea, I’m just not very fond of it.”
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry, love,” Deborah told him. “I should have asked.”
She moved to try and take the cup away but Ted stopped her, wrapping his large hands around the delicate porcelain. “No, it’s alright. I promised I’d give it another try.”
Rebecca smiled and watched him intently as he peered down into the cup, steam billowing out around his face. She already knew he probably wouldn’t like it, but it was adorable watching him make an attempt at least. He lifted the mug to his lips, taking a hesitant sip of the hot liquid. His face gave him away as a grimace replaced the hesitance he had been wearing.
“Oh sweetheart, let me make you something else,” Deborah offered and started fixing a cup of coffee with what was left in the pot. “Cream and sugar?”
Ted nodded and slid the tea away. “Extra, please. As much as you can.”
Rebecca leaned in and kissed the top of his messy hair. “That was the last thing on our list, love,” she whispered as she curled an arm over his shoulders.
He looked up at her, eyes sparkling in the bright sunshine coming through the windows. “Oh you’re right. We checked every box, huh?”
“We did,” she said with a nod.
The rest of the morning was filled with laughter as they ate breakfast and enjoyed each other’s company. It was more than Rebecca ever could have expected from this trip. One she thought would include her mother and father avoiding one another, while Rebecca was off on her own doing her best to go unnoticed. But instead they were all going home happier, freer, and Rebecca personally was feeling lighter. She no longer had to carry the burden of her father’s infidelity with her to Uni, and that felt like a breath of fresh air. But more than that, she met Ted, and Maggie, and she would never understand how she was lucky enough to cross paths with them.
When Paul announced that their car would be arriving shortly, Rebecca’s stomach dropped. She’d never be ready to say goodbye, and now that the moment was here, she felt panicked.
They all moved outside with their luggage, the sun warm as it continued its climb in the sky. Maggie approached her first while Ted stood with her parents and she could already feel tears in her eyes.
“I sure am gonna miss you, Rebecca Welton.”
Maggie wrapped her arms tightly around Rebecca and she held on tight. She sniffled against her shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For everything.”
Maggie rocked her back and forth in their hug. “Thank you for bringin’ some light back into that boy. He’s been havin’ such a hard time.”
Rebecca tried to choke back the sob but it was no good. She cried and Maggie held her even tighter. “Fuck,” Rebecca breathed out. “I’m so sorry.”
“Never apologize for havin’ feelin’s my girl,” Maggie told her. “And don’t ever let anyone try to make you feel bad about it either.”
“Is it weird if I say that I love you right now?” Rebecca asked and they both laughed. “Becuase I do.”
Maggie smiled. “Not weird at all. The feelin’ is mutual by now. And I hope this ain’t the last time we see each other.”
“It won’t be. I promise.”
Ted was waiting now, hands shoved in the khaki shorts he had been wearing the day before as he rocked back and forth on the heels of his sneakers. Maggie stepped away and handed something over to Ted from her bag as she passed by on her way to Deborah and Paul. He approached her now, a thick white envelope in his hands. There were still stray tears that continued to escape from her eyes and the closer he got, more tears started to fall.
He smothered her in a hug, rocking her back and forth just like Maggie had, and she held on tight as they moved together. “Fuck, I love you so much.” His voice was muffled but it still ran straight through her until it reached her heart. How the fuck was she supposed to leave this man behind?
“I love you too,” she mumbled into his neck. “And I’m going to miss you so much.”
Ted held her tight, his hand open and pressed against her back. “I gotta be honest, I didn’t think this day was actually comin’.”
Rebecca smiled. “You thought we’d stay?”
“I thought we’d get stuck in some sorta Groundhog Day situation to be honest,” he said with a chuckle. “Like we’d just keep livin’ the same day over and over and I’d never have to watch you leave.”
Rebecca leaned back to reach into her bag to remove a pale pink sealed envelope. She had written Theodore across the front in her perfect cursive, while the back flap had a slightly smudged bright red lipstick print. “I wrote you something, but you have to promise you won’t read it until tonight. Because I worry if you read it as soon as we leave, you’ll be chasing me at the airport.”
He wiped beneath his eyes with his thumb before he accepted the letter. “I will promise you that if you promise to do the same with this.” Ted handed her the white envelope he had taken from Maggie, and she now noticed her own name on the front in his familiar handwriting.
“I promise,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
“I feel like there’s so much I wanna say, and I can’t remember a damn word of it,” Ted told her through his tears. “But I’m not ready to watch you go.”
Their car pulled into the driveway then, because of course it did, and Rebecca pulled Ted in for another hug. “You’re the best person I’ll ever know, Ted Lasso. And no matter where life takes us, I’m never going to forget you.”
He kissed the side of her head and then her temple. “You’ve made me a better man, Rebecca Welton. And I hope fate brings us together again one day.”
“It will,” she promised. “This isn’t the end of our story.”
Ted kissed her like he did that afternoon on the boardwalk for the first time, but now there was so much more hidden within that kiss. Tales and memories of their three months spent together, moments meant for only them to recall. It was sacred and she was going to hold onto it for the rest of her life.
When they broke away, they were both still crying. “We’ll keep in touch, right?”
Ted nodded. “Until you get sick of me.”
She smiled. “That’s never going to happen.”
“I don’t think I can say goodbye,” he whispered.
“So don’t. We can just say we’ll see each other later,” she said through the tears. “Because goodbye feels too permanent and I cannot handle the thought of that right now.”
Ted smiled. “How about a promise then? Same time, same place?”
Rebecca smiled back. “Same time, same place.”
The walk to the car felt long, and her limbs felt heavy as she crossed the driveway. Emotionally, she felt exhausted. Because once she climbed into that backseat, when the door was closed and they drove off to the airport, it was over. London was waiting, along with Sassy, their new flat, and her brand new chapter. And with the start of a new chapter, it meant the old one was over.
Rebecca wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
She turned back around to find Ted standing beside Maggie near the door to the garage. “You’ve got this, baby. Go be a rockstar.”
She laughed before she blew him a kiss and then started back to the car. She slid into the backseat with ease, just beside her mother, and she fastened her seatbelt before she turned back for Ted. He and Maggie were already waving, their own personal send-off as the car pulled away and onto the road. She watched out the back window until they disappeared entirely, the same way she had when she left Sassy behind. But now, even once they were faded figures, she kept watching.
And then she let the dam inside her break.
**********
The flight home was easy enough, except for the fact that on the hour, every hour, like clockwork, Rebecca would start to cry again. She had tried reading, thinking maybe it would offer her enough of a distraction for her mind, but it was no use. Her thoughts would quickly shift from the words in front of her to the boy she had to leave behind, and the permanent mark he had left on her heart. The envelope he had given her sat at the top of her bag, taunting her, but she had to make good on her promise to wait.
Instead she reached past it for the smaller, tattered blue envelope that was holding the pictures she had developed from the summer. She flipped through them slowly, a few of the images of just Ted pulling a strange laugh from her. Deborah peeked over the first time, a look of relief washing over her when she realized Rebecca was okay. Each picture created such a vivid mental image in her head, as if she was living those moments all over again.
She ran through the stack continuously until they landed in London.
A place that didn’t quite feel like home anymore.
Because home was no longer a place, but it was a person.
The drive back to the house was quiet, all three of them exhausted from a long day of travel. They unloaded the car and carried their luggage inside to retreat to their rooms immediately. Paul offered to help with Rebecca’s suitcase, but she declined. “I’ll be alright.”
Instead he pulled her in from a hug and she had to squeeze her eyes shut in an effort to keep from crying. “I love you,” he whispered. “Goodnight my girl.”
“Goodnight,” she echoed. “I love you too.”
“We’ll see you in the morning, Sausage,” Deborah told her. “Get some rest.”
Rebecca nodded. “Goodnight, mum.”
They went their separate ways and once she was in the privacy of her own room, she allowed the tears to fall down her cheeks again. She wheeled her suitcase to her closet, leaving it to be tomorrow’s problem, and then she crawled into the middle of her bed with Ted’s envelope. She opened it quickly and dried sunflower petals fell past the flap like confetti, trapped in the folder paper that she removed. Along with the letter, there was a cassette tape. The same one they had listened to for most of the summer anytime they used his truck.
She scrambled over to her tape deck and inserted it, pressing play before she returned to her seated position. The opening chords to Keith Whitley’s When You Say Nothing At All filled her room as she finally unfolded the piece of paper to find a handwritten letter from Ted.
My sweet sunflower,
When I told my mama I’d join her in Myrtle Beach this summer, it’s because I couldn’t handle the idea of being stuck in Kansas alone. Every corner of that place felt haunted by my dad and I didn’t trust myself to be left to my own devices. So I made the trip with her. And if I’m being honest, I’ve never been much of a fan of the beach. That of course changed when I met you.
Rebecca, you changed my life this summer. You helped me find happiness in the smallest things and you gave me a new outlook on this life. It was something as simple as the look on your face after a big bite of ice cream or how peaceful you were those afternoons we spent by the pool or by the ocean. I’ve just spent so much of my time being so angry or sad and with you that always just disappeared. Whether you meant to or not, you made me understand there’s still so much to live for.
I don’t really know how things are gonna feel without you here now. But what I do know is that I love you. And I’m so proud of you. I’ve heard my parents and my aunts and uncles talk about how their first loves weren’t all that great, and I’m so glad that’s not me.
I know we talked about staying in touch, so I’m gonna write my address down at the end of this letter for you. You obviously have no obligation to use it, but it’s there if you want it. The ball is in your court, baby. And if you pass it to me, I promise to catch it. (Sorry, basketball reference)
Thank you for everything this summer.
I love you endlessly.
-Ted
His address followed his name, some little street in Kansas she wished she could picture in her mind, and a hand-drawn smiley face with a mustache sat beside it. She traced the pen lines with her fingernail as she laid herself down on her pillows, the mixtape still playing next to her.
And with Ted’s letter clutched in her hands, Rebecca cried herself to sleep.
Notes:
If you follow me on Twitter (@bossassbiscuits) you'll find Ted's Mixtape in playlist form on Spotify as well as a short thread of some of the photos you might have found on Rebecca's disposable cameras during the summer of 1993.
See you guys next week for the finale <3
Chapter 4: June, 2023.
Notes:
Again, thank you all for being patient for this final update. It was a combination of not having time to sit down and edit and also not wanting to say goodbye. But without further ado, the last chapter.
**Please check the new added tags**
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Her toes sank easily into the sand and she took in a deep breath through her nose. The feeling was so familiar to her, even after all these years. The sand felt the same, and the ocean air still filled her with a kind of warmth she had truly missed. It wasn’t a place she was able to return to as much as she might have liked, but she still visited quite a few times over the last thirty years.
And as crazy as it probably seemed, it always felt a little bit like home.
This year, more than ever.
Their flight had landed late the night before, but she was unable to sleep in. Her whole body pulsed with excitement just the same way it had when she was eighteen. She woke with the sun, and instead of trying to fall back asleep, she took advantage of the time alone. Instead, she traded out her pajames for a long, flowing dress and made her way to the kitchen, and then down to the beach. She had her hands wrapped tight around a coffee mug, steam billowing out from the top. She would never quit drinking tea, but there was just something about a hot cup of coffee on the beach just after sunrise that felt right. It felt nostalgic.
Rebecca didn’t walk far, just a few houses down to her right to cast her eyes on the still-remarkable beach house she remembered so vividly. It was just as she had left it, except for the fresh paint job and the new hydrangeas planted along the side, and it brought a smile to her face to see it again. She returned to the house they’d be staying in for the duration of their trip with that same excitement still running through her veins. It made her feel like a kid again.
The walk back up to the house was quiet, still early at their end of the beach, but once she pushed the back door open, she was surrounded by the sweet sound of her girls laughing together upstairs. It was by far one of her favorite sounds and she would never get enough. Rebecca took the stairs up to the main level and found her daughters curled up together on the couch, the television on and the volume low. Their soft giggles still echoed through the open space. “Good morning, my little birds.”
“Morning, mum.” Their eldest daughter, Gemma, known to everyone as Emmy, greeted her quietly. And that was the best way to describe Emmy. She was quiet, observant, and so remarkably sweet.
Pippa, the youngest of her siblings, peeked over the back of the couch wearing a wild smile. Her hair was just as wild, and Rebecca had no clue how her little girl could look so wrecked after just one night of sleep. “Morning, mummy,” she echoed.
Rebecca dropped her now-empty mug in the sink before she joined the girls on the couch. They both moved closer to her, like two magnets ready to cling to the surface. Two sets of arms wrapped around her, heads settling on each shoulder and Rebecca smiled to herself. If you had asked her thirty years ago, while she was visiting this very town for the first time, what her biggest dream would have been, she would have told you it was to be a mother. Now that she had kids of her own? It was better than anything she ever could have imagined.
“I thought you two would still be asleep,” Rebecca said quietly as she pressed a kiss to Pippa’s hair.
“Too excited,” Pippa whispered a bit too loudly.
Emmy peeked up at her. “We were hoping we could go to the beach.”
Rebecca chuckled softly. “Come on then,” she said. “Let’s go for a little walk.”
The girls scurried for the door, slipping their feet into sandals quickly. Rebecca followed them outside, Pippa leading them down the stairwell and out the door. As soon as they were outside, the girls sprinted towards the sand, wild hair and laughter breaking out around them, hands linked. It warmed Rebecca over to watch them giggling together, both of them kicking out of their shoes before they approached the water. The kids had been to the beach house before, but Pippa had just turned three, and this was the first time they were all old enough to really enjoy and remember it.
Their little feet splashed in the ocean, and Rebecca stood and watched with a bright smile on her face. And when Emmy stopped to stare out over the rippling waves, and Pippa came up to hug her, arms wrapped around her sister’s waist, Rebecca felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She slid her phone from the back pocket of her shorts to take a quick photo before either of them noticed. The girls had always been close, built-in best friends, and she hoped they would never lose that. It was too precious to leave behind.
“Mummy, come touch the ocean!”
Rebecca crossed the sand towards them, ditching her sandals with their pile of shoes before she joined, toes touching the cold water. They danced around together on the coast, the girls laughing and gasping when a wave would crash into their little legs. It was such a simple moment, but one Rebecca knew she’d carry with herself for years to come.
Pippa launched herself into Rebecca’s arms and she lifted her easily to sit at her hip. Her daughter’s arms came to wrap around her neck and she rested her head against Rebecca’s. When Rebecca looked down at her other daughter, she noticed Emmy’s eyes go wide as she looked up towards the house.
“Papa!”
Rebecca swung around, Pippa still secure at her hip, to see Ted making his way across the sand towards them. And just like it did thirty years ago on this very same beach, her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. The boy from Kansas that continued to steal her heart even now. Emmy took off racing in his direction, his arms out to catch her when she collided with him.
“Good mornin’, sunshine,” Ted said before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her messy blonde hair. “Thought you’d still be snorin’.”
Emmy smiled up at him as she pushed her hair away from her face. “We wanted to see the ocean.”
Ted kicked off his slippers and directed Emmy back to where Rebecca still stood with Pippa. “Alright, well let’s go then!”
When they were close enough, Ted dropped a kiss to Pippa’s right cheek. “Mornin’ pipsqueak.”
“Good morning, daddy.”
Ted smiled and leaned in to kiss Rebecca lightly. “And a very good mornin’ to you, hot stuff.”
“Good morning, love,” Rebecca responded. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
Ted shook his head as Pippa broke free from Rebecca’s arms and tugged Emmy back towards the water. “Nah, I was sleepin’ like a rock. But when I got up to make some coffee, I saw y’all down here and thought I’d join.”
Rebecca looped an arm through his. “I assume Henry’s still sleeping?”
“Oh yeah, he’s out like a light,” he replied. “I think he stayed up a little too late last night.”
She smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Can you believe it’s been thirty years?”
Ted grinned and kissed her temple. “Yeah, it feels like yesterday that I stopped you from walkin’ right into the middle of the ocean.”
“Imagine if I had gone the other direction that day,” she joked.
But Ted only shrugged his shoulders. “ Wouldn’t have mattered,” he answered easily. “I’d have seen you at the beach another day. Or the boardwalk. There was no way we were stayin’ apart that summer.”
She turned her head so her cheek was against his arm now, her eyes focused on the girls. They were picking through the wet sand for shells, tucking each one into the front pockets of Emmy’s sweater. “I would’ve seen you running on the beach,” she said through a smile. “And eventually I would have been brave enough to say hi.”
Ted chuckled and pressed another kiss to her hair. “Yeah, you wouldn’t have lasted very long sittin’ up there. All that droolin’ woulda flooded the beach.”
She pinched at the sliver of skin that sat uncovered between the waistband of his athletic shorts and the worn out tee he was wearing. “What can I say? You were the best looking boy on the beach that summer.”
“And now?”
Rebecca shrugged. “It’s still too early to say, it’s only our first day here, love.”
Ted huffed out a defeated laugh. “Alright, you’re gonna pay for that. But for now, I think it’s time for breakfast. Who’s hungry?”
Two small hands shot up in the air. “Last one back is a rotten egg!” Pippa announced before she started running with Emmy following close behind. Her hands were clamped down on her overflowing pockets as her laughter rang through when she caught up to her little sister. Ted collected their forgotten sandals and he and Rebecca made their way back to the girls, who were both doubled over at the door, trying to catch their breath.
“Pip cheated,” Emmy said through her giggle.
“Your legs are too long!” Pippa fought back in her happiest voice. “You and Henry are too tall.”
Ted ran a hand over Pippa’s hair. “Don’t worry, Pip, you’re gonna end up bein’ taller and faster than all of us.”
The four of them made their way upstairs to find Henry, their oldest child and only boy, emerging from the hallway, rubbing at sleepy eyes. “Hi, Hen.”
A raised arm was his only response before he slid onto one of the empty barstools at the long kitchen island. “I hope you’re hungry,” Ted started. “Your sisters and I are makin’ breakfast.”
Henry nodded and yawned while Rebecca took a seat beside him. “Why is everyone up so early?”
Rebecca dropped a kiss to his hair. “Well, not all of us stayed up to see the sunrise,” she replied. “I didn’t think we’d see you until after noon.”
His cheeks flushed pink. “I was talking to Phoebe.”
“Mummy, did you know Henry’s in love with Phoebe?” Pippa asked from her seat on the granite countertop. Her brother’s cheeks changed from pink to crimson quickly.
Rebecca hugged Henry close. “Oh sweetheart, did you honestly think that was a secret?”
He laughed and buried his face in his hands. “No. But it’d be nice if Pippa didn’t blurt things out like that.”
Pippa smiled as she leaned over the large metal mixing bowl. “Sorry, Hen.”
Emmy was gently slicing strawberries beside her sister, her movements slow and steady. She was so focused on the task at hand. “You should tell her,” she said softly. “I think she’d like to know.”
Henry shook his head. “I think we’ll just keep this our little family secret if everyone’s okay with that.”
“Our little Gemstone’s right, Henry,” Ted said as he stood at the stove, monitoring their first batch of pancakes. “You gotta tell her before it’s too late.”
“Like Papa did,” Emmy pointed out. “Maybe if he hadn’t told mum, none of us would be here.”
Rebecca stared at her daughter in awe. Emmy was always very gentle when she spoke, and there was always purpose in what she was saying. She was smart, wise beyond her years and moving through her education faster than seemed possible. And she was also incredibly kind. Emmy cared so much about the people in her life, but she cared about the strangers around her too. She was soft and she had the biggest heart, and Rebecca hoped that no one would take that away from her.
Emmy plopped a kiss on Henry’s cheek before she returned to her station cutting fruit. “I love you, Hen.” She hugged him around the neck quickly, taking advantage of them being nearly the same height while he was sitting down. There was a five year age gap between them, Henry approaching his 18th birthday while Emmy was getting closer to turning 13. Rebecca wasn’t entirely sure how she and Ted were mere months away from having not one, but two teenagers, but it was their reality.
And she wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Daddy, you’re burning the pancakes,” Pippa pointed out, which seemed to pull Ted out of whatever daydream he had gotten lost in.
A few whispered curse words left his lips and Pippa giggled behind her hand. “Guess I’ll be eatin’ those,” he mumbled before he poured new puddles of batter onto the pan. “Hen, you wanna help Emmy with the scrambled eggs?”
Emmy smiled proudly. “Papa, I know how to make them.”
Ted smiled back at her, and they looked identical to one another. “Alright, little miss sunshine, then get over here.” Emmy crossed the kitchen and joined Ted in front of the stove, working quickly to crack eggs into a large pan before reaching for a rubber spatula. Pippa moved closer to watch Emmy and Ted as they finished breakfast, studying their movements. “Pip, can you hand me the hot sauce, please?”
Rebecca leaned over to Henry. “Did you tell her about your secret recipe, bug?”
Henry laughed. “Emmy caught me in the kitchen one night after practice and she wouldn’t let me eat until I told her. Honestly, I think she makes them better than I do now.”
“She admires you,” Rebecca said quietly. “You know she’s already worried about what happens when you leave us for school. She even asked if she could go with you.”
“She’s smart enough for it,” he remarked.
Rebecca hugged Henry’s arm tight in her own. “All three of you are incredibly intelligent. You get that from me.”
Ted slid a plate full of food in front of Rebecca, and another in front of Henry. “Yeah but you get your good looks from me.”
Pippa took the chair beside Rebecca while Emmy slid in next to Henry and Ted stood across from them on the opposite side of the island. They ate together, their morning filled with laughter and their hopes for family vacation. It was like so many mornings they spent together back home in Richmond, but this felt like more . It was special to her. Because thirty years ago, this was the life Rebecca imagined for herself.
And now, every one of those dreams had come true.
“Mummy, can you tell us the story again?”
Emmy was smiling in her seat. “Pip, we’ve heard the story a thousand times already.”
Pippa frowned at her sister. “But never while we were at the beach.”
Rebecca leaned in to kiss Pippa’s temple. “Why don’t we tidy up in here and then we can go and get cozy on the couch. We’ll tell you about it there.”
They cleaned up quickly, dishes rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher, and leftovers stored in the refrigerator. She was expecting Henry to retreat back to his room, or maybe head down to the beach for some quiet time, but instead he settled himself into the oversized chair in the living room. Emmy climbed in next to him, and Pippa situated herself between Ted and Rebecca on the large plush couch. Emmy was right, Rebecca and Ted had told this story at least a thousand times over the years. But she loved their story, and she’d tell it as long as their kids kept asking to hear it.
“Okay, Pipsqueak, kick us off. Where are we startin’?”
Pippa perked up in her seat, wide eyes and a bright smile on her face. “The summer of 1997. Mum and Auntie Sassy were planning a trip to celebrate finishing Uni.”
“And Papa and Uncle Beard were too,” Emmy added.
Rebecca glanced over at Henry to see if he was going to continue. They all knew the story well enough they could tell it themselves. Well, most of it anyway. Henry gave her a soft chuckle and said, “They had planned to meet up here at the beach, but neither of them knew if the other would show up.”
“I thought your mama woulda forgotten about me by then,” Ted told them. “It had been four years and even though we were still writin’ letters, I thought maybe she woulda found someone better.”
Rebecca smiled. “Except there is no one better than your father.”
Ted smiled back. “So your Uncle Beard and I were makin’ plans to hit the beach for a few weeks no matter what. We had graduated and your Grandma Maggie had rented the beach house for us as a gift. We just wanted some time to relax before we decided on our next step.”
“And your Aunt Sassy was dragging her feet on where she wanted to go,” Rebecca continued. “Until she found your father’s letter.”
Rebecca remembered the whole evening like it had only happened yesterday. The look on Sassy’s face when she found the envelope addressed to Rebecca. The excitement in her voice when she suggested they leave the following day.
“We have to go.”
Rebecca shook her head. “No, we don’t.”
Sassy fell back on the couch beside Rebecca. “Why not? Isn’t this what you’ve been waiting four years for?”
“Because what if he doesn’t even like me anymore?” Rebecca asked. “What if we fly all the way there and he sees me and decides he’s better off?”
Sassy shook her head. “That’s not going to happen. He’d be fucking foolish if he let that happen. And even if it does happen? We will find boys even hotter than Ted and we’ll fuck them instead.”
Rebecca sunk further into the white couch. “It’s been four years, Sass. The only contact we’ve had is a bunch of letters and a few pictures sent back and forth.”
“How many men have you even attempted to make a connection with since we’ve been here?”
She stared at her best friend. “A few.”
Sassy shook her head again. “Wrong. It was one. That chap John you fooled around with for like six weeks our second year. Since then, you’ve been celibate.”
“How the fuck would you know that?”
“Because I’m your best friend,” Sassy answered. “And because you would have talked about it endlessly if something had happened. John kissed you on the mouth and you wouldn’t shut up about it for days.”
Rebecca sighed. “I tried to move on,” she whispered. “Ted even encouraged it, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to.”
Sassy turned her head to look at Rebecca. “Which is why we should go. Maybe you were never meant to move on from him.”
“I never picked you to be such a romantic, Florence.”
She rolled her eyes at Rebecca. “Well, at the very least, we get a trip to the beach out of all this.”
Rebecca smiled. “You’re a good friend, Sass.”
“And don’t you forget it,” she replied with a squeeze at her knee.
“So the next day, with your grandfather’s help, we packed our bags, boarded a plane and flew to the beach,” Rebecca told the kids.
“And at around the same time, Uncle Beard and I were gettin’ settled in at the house,” Ted added. “To be honest, he’s a trooper for puttin’ up with all the talkin’ I did about your mama. Not only that weekend, but the four years leadin’ up to it. He knew all about my summer with her and I just couldn’t stop ramblin’. He was such a good listener, just like he still is now. But I know I was gettin’ annoyin’.”
Rebecca smiled. “Your Aunt Sass too. She was ready to ring my neck by the time we landed at the airport. She made me promise to pay for dinner for the next three nights to make up for how much talking I did.”
Emmy smiled from the chair. “Dinner’s where you saw Papa.”
Ted’s cheeks turned the loveliest shade of pink. “Emmy girl, I can’t tell ya how damn beautiful your mama looked that night. Not to mention I thought she was a ghost walkin’ into that little restaurant.”
“I felt like a zombie,” Rebecca joked. “I think I had only slept for maybe six hours the whole week before that.”
“You were wearin’ that pretty yellow sundress and your hair was tied back in a loose braid,” Ted told her. He remembered so many little details about her, about their summers together, and it always took her breath away. “And all I remember thinkin’ is that I never shoulda let you leave that first summer.”
Running into Ted at dinner their first night in town was happenstance. Rebecca had never confirmed to Ted that she would be visiting, and she had spent most of the flight from London to Myrtle Beach panicking about whether or not she’d actually see Ted at some point on their trip. She thought if worse came to worse, she might be able to spot him running on the beach in the morning, assuming he still did that.
So when she and Sassy stepped through the front door of a new pizza place and she was greeted with a soft, twangy “Missed you, Sunflower,” it felt like fate had intervened yet again. Their paths crossed so easily, and so quickly. Like no matter what, they’d always find each other.
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit,” Sassy echoed.
Ted stood in front of them, hands shoved in the front pockets of his navy blue shorts. “You must be Sassy.”
He extended his hand out and she watched Sassy accept his invitation. “And you must be the Marlboro Man. Stinky hasn’t shut up about you for years.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Are you here alone?”
Ted shook his head and pointed towards a booth near the back of the parlor. “Here with a friend. But I saw you pass by the window and had to come see for myself, make sure you were real.”
“I’m real,” Rebecca said with a smile.
“You two wanna join us?” Ted asked. “We just ordered a giant pizza.”
Rebecca looked over at Sassy, who was staring at the booth Ted had pointed to. “Sass?”
“Is your friend single?”
The four of them spent hours sharing an extra-large pizza, multiple desserts, and a few drinks each. Rebecca learned that Ted’s friend was the infamous Beard from his letters, his college roommate and best friend. Rebecca spent most of their meal lost in this new version of Ted, the longer hair, the even more-defined muscles in his arms and legs on full display in his outfit. But she didn’t miss the sparks that were flying between their friends either. She found out the boys were staying in his grandparents’ old place, which was convenient considering Paul had gotten her and Sassy the beach house a few doors down to use for two full weeks.
It was as if they had picked up where they had left off four years earlier, their tearful goodbyes at the edge of the driveway making way for their anticipated reunion.
After dinner, Beard and Sassy made their way down the boardwalk to see what the town had to offer. But Ted and Rebecca had other plans, their chance to reconnect in the only way they had been missing since that summer. There had been a few detailed excerpts in their letters back and forth, and quite a few nights Rebecca spent alone, trying to summon that feeling of being exposed with Ted again, but nothing compared to the real thing.
They laid tangled together beneath soft sheets, skin damp with sweat, and Rebecca felt happy . It was a happiness she hadn’t been able to find again, not since that first summer in Myrtle Beach, and she thought she might never find it again.
As it turned out, that happiness seemed to live within Ted.
His fingers trailed over her skin, from the curve of her shoulder all the way down to the tips of her fingers. “I forgot how good it feels to touch you,” he whispered.
Rebecca exhaled a deep sigh. “I missed you so much, Ted.”
“So you’re here for two weeks?” Ted asked, fingers tracing over every inch of skin he could reach.
She nodded. “I wish it was for longer, but my father’s friend had already rented the house out for the rest of the summer. We were lucky enough to get the two weeks.”
Ted moved to tower over her, arms bracketed around her head as he dipped down to kiss her throat. “Well then we just need to make the most of our time together.”
“We spent two weeks runnin’ around this town,” Ted reminisced. “We fit as much as we could into those fourteen days.”
Rebecca snuggled deeper into Pippa, pressing a kiss to her hair. “It was the best two weeks I could have imagined for us.”
“Dad, did you ever think about proposing?”
Henry’s question surprised her, and she peeked up to look over at Ted. They had never told this part of the story before, not even to Beard or Sassy. They kept it to themselves, a memory neither of them seemed keen on remembering. Because if she was being completely honest, she regretted the way it played out, but she couldn’t go back and change it now. “I did,” Ted said softly. “Our last night on this beach, I got down on one knee and I asked her to marry me.”
Emmy’s eyebrows furrowed. “But you said no.”
A soft gasp left Pippa’s lips, and Rebecca nodded. “I said no.”
“So what do we do now?” They had been walking the beach hand in hand, the sun long gone and the moon shining bright against the dark backdrop. Water lapped at their feet as they made their way through the sand. “I can’t wait another four years to see you.”
Ted squeezed her hand. “Yeah, I’ve been tryin’ to figure that out all day. This long distance thing we’ve got goin’ really sucks.”
A sad smile formed on her lips. “It absolutely sucks.”
“You wanna move to Kansas?”
She laughed. “Or you could move to London.”
“Or,” Ted began. He dropped Rebecca’s hand and when he went down on one knee in front of her, she could hear blood rushing in her ears. “We could get married.”
When she didn’t answer right away, he slid something out of his front pocket. A gold band holding a very simple diamond. Simple, but expensive. There was no way Ted could afford this. “Rebecca, I love you. And I know we don’t have everythin’ figured out and this ain’t gonna be easy, but I do know you’re worth it. And I am willin’ to do whatever I need to do to make this work.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks while she stared at him. “Ted,” she breathed. And in just the way she said his name, he knew her answer. It flickered in his eyes. The pain, the hurt, and somewhere in the middle, understanding. “We can’t get married. Not right now.”
“Why not?” His voice matched his eyes now. “I’m not sayin’ it’s gotta be tomorrow. But in the future we can.”
Rebecca nodded. “In the future, of course. But Ted, we’re young. And we both have things we want to do. Do you really want to give up on your potential career to move your entire life to England? Do you expect me to leave all of my schooling behind, those kids behind, to make the trek to Kansas?”
His shoulders shrugged. “We could make it work.”
“And we will,” she whispered. “But not right now.”
“It was the right answer,” Ted explained to the kids. “We were so young, only a few years older than Henry is now. We couldn’t get married.”
“But you loved each other,” Emmy said quietly.
Rebecca smiled. “We did. And we still do. But your father and I had a lot of life still to experience, and we both knew that. We had plans, and dreams, and we owed it to ourselves to try and succeed.”
Henry’s eyes were on Rebecca, and it was scary how much he looked just like Ted at this age. “That’s why you two stopped speaking.”
It was Ted who nodded this time. “Your mama asked me for time and space, and that’s what I gave her. I honestly thought it might kill me, but she was worth the pain and the unknown.”
Rebecca pulled her fingers through Pippa’s tangled hair. “It wasn’t until your grandmother got sick that I heard from him again.
The letter had arrived at her parents’ house while Rebecca had been in Athens with Sassy for a short trip. The writing on the front was still so familiar to her, and she traced her fingers over the thick lines and curves of her name before she tore the envelope open. It was a small piece of paper waiting for her inside, with only a few words scrawled between the lines. It was nothing like the letters he had sent in the past, long-winded and descriptive. And when she sat down to read it, her heart lodged itself in her throat.
Rebecca -
I thought you deserved to know that Mama’s sick.
She’s a fighter, but she’s scared. We both are.
I miss you. Hope you’re well.
- Ted
“I booked a flight to Kansas that evening,” Rebecca told the kids. “The postmark date was nearly a week earlier. And at that point, I didn’t want any more space. I didn’t need it. But I needed to be there for them both.”
Pippa looked over at Ted with bright eyes. “Did you cry when you finally saw mum again?”
He laughed and leaned in to kiss her temple. “You know I did, Pipsqueak. I couldn’t believe she came all the way to Kansas.”
“I couldn’t either,” Rebecca said with a laugh. “I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I tried going to their house first but no one was home, and Miss Sanders was the one who told me where I could find them. She offered to drive me, but I didn’t even know if the hospital would allow me to go any further than the lobby. Plus I was nervous your father might see me and tell me to leave.”
Ted reached across the back of the couch and squeezed at her shoulder. “I think I asked you to stay.”
She nodded. “And I did. For six months, even.”
“You helped take care of Gigi,” Emmy said with a smile. “And Papa needed you too.”
Rebecca smiled back at her daughter. “It just felt like the place I belonged at the time. Nothing else seemed as important as being in Kansas.”
It had been an adjustment, and it certainly hadn’t been easy, but it was worth it. After the initial surprise of Rebecca arriving in Kansas had worn off, there was tension. They were uneasy around one another, and they both knew there was a conversation that needed to be had.
“You wanna tell me why you’re here, Rebecca?”
She knew he didn’t mean it as harshly as it came off, but he was tired. This man had watched his mother come so close to dying, and now they were watching her heal. “I want to be here.”
He sighed. “Why?”
“For you, Ted,” she told him, frustrations surfacing in her own voice now. “Christ, is that so hard to believe?”
He shrugged at her. “Last time I saw you, you wanted space.”
A sour laugh left her lips. “Oh, is that why you sent me that letter then? To continue to give me space.”
“I thought you’d wanna know! I didn’t think you were gonna fly across the Atlantic and show up here.”
That felt like a knife slicing through her heart. “So you don’t want me here.”
Ted pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and took a deep breath. “No, I’m sorry. That’s not what I’m sayin’.” He took in another slow breath through his nose. “Look, I’m confused. And I’m tired. And I’m not tryin’ to be an asshole. But Rebecca, the last time I saw you, you didn’t want any of this.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I never said I didn’t want any of this. Ted, marriage wasn’t the answer to my questions that night. All I wanted was for you to say we’d stay in touch. We’d go about our lives separately until it was the right time to bring them together again. I didn’t need a ring. I just needed another promise.”
He stared at her, tears pooling in his eyes, and she moved closer. Rebecca pushed the fallen hairs off his forehead and kissed him softly on his temple. “I love you endlessly. And I really do hope to marry you one day.”
“I hope so too,” he confessed in a whisper. “I love you. Thank you for comin’ out here.”
Ted chuckled. “I certainly never thought you’d stay that long. But one month became two, and then suddenly we had been playin’ house for six. Mama was feelin’ so much better and gettin’ around on her own again, and I knew we couldn’t live in that little bubble for much longer.”
“Eventually I returned to London, but we agreed to stay in touch that time,” Rebecca continued. “And it was easier then, having access to email and long distance calls. I was feeling more and more comfortable in the classroom and your dad was finishing up his Master’s degree. Your grandfather even had your dad flown out to do some work with the club after his graduation for what was only supposed to be a few weeks.”
“But I just never left,” Ted told them. “I thought I’d stay for a month or two at most, but suddenly, I was livin’ in Richmond, and I was learnin’ how to run the club with your Grandpa.”
Henry grinned. “And then you became the youngest owner in club history at 29.”
Rebecca laughed. “Your father was terrified. Especially because not two weeks after he started that job, we learned we were pregnant.”
“Oh I was a mess,” Ted agreed. “I was runnin’ from meetin’s at my office to appointments with the doctor and back again. I was memorizin’ player profiles and stats in the waitin’ rooms and readin’ parentin’ books between press conferences and phone calls. But you know what? It was all worth it seein’ how your mama was glowin’.”
“By the end I was hobbling around like a penguin,” she recollected. “My poor students were so concerned I was going to topple over onto them.”
She looked back on that time in their lives frequently. While Ted was getting settled into his brand new role in a brand new town, Rebecca was preparing for another year of teaching Year One. And she loved it. She loved watching these young children learn and explore and grow every single day, and more than that, she loved watching those same kids through the years as they inched closer and closer to University.
It hit her now like a crashing wave that their first-born was off to University himself when they returned to Richmond in only a few weeks. She shook that dread off and focused on their story instead.
“It was nice that the school was so close to the club. Your dad and I shared a lot of lunches together once Henry was born.”
Ted nodded. “Lunch on the pitch in late April was when I proposed again.”
It was the end of Ted’s first season as club owner and he had asked Rebecca to join him for lunch. When she arrived around noon, he had Henry strapped to his chest, bright eyes and messy hair on the both of them. She had only been back in the classroom for about a week following her leave and where she thought she might be nervous, Ted handled the transition seamlessly. He started taking Henry into the office every day, and luckily for them both, he was a fairly quiet baby. The loudest thing about him was his constant babbling, and his big, bright blue eyes. They had joked for years that Henry joining Ted at work was their way of preparing him to follow in his father and grandfather’s footsteps, but now that he had declared he had chosen to study Sports Management in school, it was feeling like a definite possibility.
“Did he get down on one knee again?” Emmy, their soft and quiet romantic, was staring at them with a gentle smile on her lips.
Rebecca smiled. “He did. He had Henry resting on his thigh and the ring was in his tiny little fingers. Your brother started clapping and laughing when I kissed your dad and he ended up throwing the ring into the grass.”
Henry’s cheeks were pink. “That’s what Dad gets for trusting a baby with a diamond.”
Ted laughed and shrugged. “Hey, you got your redemption at the wedding. You were the best and most cautious ring bearer anyone had ever seen. It only took you ten minutes to walk down the aisle.”
In September of 2008, they were finally married. It was a small ceremony in the backyard at Deborah and Paul’s house. Maggie flew in from Kansas and sat in the front row with Henry in her lap, looking as beautiful and healthy as ever. Rebecca and Ted stood before their family and friends and vowed to love one another until the world stopped turning. They shared cake and a dance with Henry in their arms, and when they left for their honeymoon the following morning, the three grandparents were thrilled about two weeks dedicated to their grandson. Paul was temporarily taking the reins back at AFC Richmond, and Rebecca had turned over her classroom to a substitute teacher, Miss Keeley Jones, until she returned home.
“Mummy you looked beautiful at the wedding,” Pippa said with a grin.
Their house in Richmond had walls covered in pictures everywhere you looked, their best memories frozen in time for everyone to see when they visited. They ranged from that first summer in 1993 up until early 2023, and a few were from their small wedding. One of her favorites included her, Ted and Henry, all gathered around the simple cake they had chosen. Henry’s face was covered in chocolate, frosting all over his fingers, while Ted was pressing a kiss to his chubby cheek and Rebecca was crouched down beside his high chair. It was by no means their first family photo, nor their last, but it was one of the best in her opinion.
Rebecca kissed her youngest daughter. “Thank you, little one. Maybe it’s time to break that dress out and let you girls try it on.”
Emmy smiled wide at her. “Maybe Phoebe can use it when she marries Henry.”
Henry began to tickle his sister, who erupted in a fit of giggles. “Not funny, Gemma.”
Their lives had been rather quiet following Henry’s birth and the wedding, right up until April of 2010 when the doctor confirmed her suspicions: she was pregnant with their second child. And it was hard, learning to navigate life with one at home and another on the way. But she never would have survived if it hadn’t been for Ted. When she felt herself falling apart, he was quick to piece her back together. And when neither of them were feeling particularly strong, they broke together, until they could pick themselves back up.
Finally, three days before Christmas, they welcomed their little girl into the world. Maggie had made her way to Richmond that year, knowing Rebecca wouldn’t be able to travel, and they celebrated the holidays with the whole family in one spot.
“Ted, do you remember that first Christmas with Emmy?”
Pippa had her head in Ted’s lap now, his fingers pulling gently through the strands as her eyes drooped. Story time had slowed down, and she could tell the jetlag was starting to catch up to all three kids. If she could, she’d spend every day like this, the five of them in one room just enjoying each other’s company.
Because soon it wouldn’t be this way. Soon enough, they’d all be adjusting to the house without Henry.
No amount of time could prepare her for that.
“Yeah, she spent most of the day sleepin’,” he replied quietly. “And then she was up the whole night.”
Rebecca nodded. “Henry decided to investigate while she was crying and you were making her a bottle.”
Ted was grinning now. “I found him sittin’ next to her crib, half asleep, her hand wrapped around his finger while they both slept.”
Emmy giggled, her cheeks rosy. “We did the same thing with Pippa when she was a baby, too.”
That picture hung in the living room, Henry and Emmy both on the floor of Pippa’s nursery, their hands squeezed through the rungs of the crib. Holding the hands of their little sister while all three of them napped.
“You three have always been inseparable,” Rebecca said. “I was so scared you’d grow out of that as you got older, but I think it only got stronger. Now I’m just worried about what’s going to happen come autumn.”
Before she knew it, Henry and Emmy were out of the chair and sliding into what little space was left on the couch to surround her. Arms wrapped tight around her waist, and her shoulders, and she tried hard not to cry. It was so rare these days to have all three kids in the same place at the same time. Between training sessions and lessons and recitals and jobs, it was hard to get the family together for more than just a quick meal before they all broke away again. That’s why it was so important to her that they make this trip, even if it wouldn’t be just them for the entire time.
“Our sweet little Pippa completed our family three years after Emmy was born,” Rebecca whispered. “And we couldn’t have been happier.”
Emmy wiped at a single tear that slid down Rebecca’s cheek. “Don’t cry, mum.”
When she glanced up, she saw how Ted’s eyes shined as he stared at her. “Can you believe we dreamt about all of this thirty years ago?”
“And in this very house,” she added.
When Henry was born, Paul had told both Ted and Rebecca they had a surprise for them, but he waited until they were home from the hospital to tell them exactly what it was. She couldn’t even begin to guess, nor did she want to. The excitement in her father’s face was enough for her to want to keep the surprise until he was ready to tell. And when they were finally settled into the house they had bought only a year prior, with enough space to grow with more kids, Paul beamed at them while Deborah held Henry in her arms.
“We bought you the beach house,” he announced.
Rebecca stared at her father, exhaustion seeping into her bones. “What beach house?”
Ted yawned and Deborah chuckled. “The Lasso’s beach house, dear. It belongs to you two now.”
“I’m sorry, I’m gonna need you to spell this out for us,” Ted told them. “I’m not even sure I’m awake right now.”
Paul sat down across from them. “Twelve years ago, we took a family trip to Myrtle Beach and it changed all of our lives. And Maggie had said something that last night when we were all having dinner about the beach house that belonged to your father’s parents. She mentioned it was going to be hard to keep up with it, but she wanted to keep it in the family. So, I bought it from her. I’ve used it as an investment since the purchase, saving the money for you kids to use towards an eventual wedding and your family. But now it’s yours. To travel, to use as an investment yourselves, whatever you see fit.”
“Is this real life?” Rebecca asked.
Deborah smiled. “It’s very real, my dear.”
Ted shook his head. “You said Mama wanted to keep it in the family?”
Paul nodded. “I think we all knew then that your connection with my daughter would never be severed. Maybe frayed a bit at the edges, but never fully detached. And worst case scenario, I would have just signed it over to you if things never worked out. But I think it’s safe to say that yes, the house will have stayed in the family.”
Ted stood and pulled him in for a hug, sniffling against his shoulder. “Thank you so much,” he mumbled.
There was a quick knock at the front door followed by the ring of the doorbell. She knew who it was, but Rebecca was so comfortable with the kids, she didn’t dare move. Ted very gently moved Pippa’s head from his lap to rest on a throw pillow before he left the couch and quiet settled over the room until the front door opened.
“Good morning, Ted,” Deborah sing-songed, and then Rebecca heard the suitcases being rolled down the hallway. “Where are my darling grandchildren?”
Rebecca smiled as Emmy rolled off the couch so she could hug her grandmother. “Morning, grandma.”
Deborah dropped a kiss to her hair. “Sweetheart, you’ve grown nearly an entire head taller since I last saw you.”
“Papa says I could be playing basketball, but I’m too good at football to quit,” she said quietly.
“Well your father’s right about that,” Deborah agreed. “Where are your siblings?”
Henry smiled and waved as he poked his head over the back of the couch. “Good morning, grandma.”
“My handsome boy,” she said with a smile. “How many more days?”
“74,” he answered.
Rebecca groaned. “Please do not remind me.”
Deborah gave her a sympathetic smile before she turned back to Henry. “Perhaps one day soon you’ll be offering your sister a contract for that women’s team your father’s started,” she mused. Deborah and Emmy made their way over to the couch together. “And my dear Pippa’s asleep?”
Rebecca nodded and kissed her mother’s cheek when she leaned in. “She’s not much of a fan of the jet lag. How was your flight?”
Deborah fell back onto the cushions. “Your father is absolutely exhausting. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him so excited to take a holiday.”
“It’s not every day we get to spend time with our kids and grandkids all at the same time,” Paul said as he and Ted entered the room.
Ted grinned. “Mama said the same thing. She shoulda been here by now but her flight’s been delayed a few times. She’s hopin’ to land before dinner.”
Paul and Ted joined them on the couch and the moment Pippa stirred awake, she gravitated towards her grandfather. The room was filled with chatter again, but this time Rebecca just listened. Emmy was telling Deborah all about her final football match of the season and Pippa was enthusiastically talking about all of the things she hoped to do this summer with Paul. Henry was smiling at something on his phone, no doubt a message from Phoebe.
Ted’s head came to rest against her shoulder, his fingers threading between hers in her lap. “Best thing that ever happened to me was you,” he whispered.
“I love you,” she whispered back. “I’ve loved you for thirty years and I’ll love you for a million more.”
And she meant it now just as much as she did back then. When it came to loving Ted, it was always easy. Even through the years apart, the arguments and fights when they moved in together and learned how to exist in the same space, raising babies and working jobs that they had dreamt of, it was easy to be with him. And no matter what, they would always come back to each other. Given a choice, she’d choose him with zero hesitation and zero regrets, in every lifetime.
He helped make all of her dreams come true, but at the same time, he was her biggest dream.
She planned to hold onto all of this until she couldn’t anymore.
*****
By the end of the week, every bedroom in their home was full.
Deborah and Paul, Maggie, Roy and Keeley, Beard, and Sassy. Her daughter, Nora and Roy’s niece, Phoebe were staying in the biggest room at the top of the stairs with Emmy and Pippa. It was the first time they were all in the same place, at the same time, and Rebecca wondered if they could make this an annual trip.
Of course that might require a bigger house soon enough.
It was Saturday morning and Rebecca could hear the sound of voices coming together in the kitchen, along with the clink of utensils in pots and pans. She knew they should join, should make themselves presentable and help with breakfast. After all, it was their house. But the further Ted’s hand moved down her bare skin, the less she cared about ever leaving their room.
His fingers tracked down over her torso and his lips moved against the column of her throat. “Feels like we haven’t had time alone in weeks,” he mumbled into her skin.
She tipped her head back. “That’s what we get for having kids,” she joked. “And jobs. And for inviting our entire fucking family here.”
“Well, let’s kick ‘em out,” he said. His lips moved across her collarbone. “I’d only need an hour or two.”
Rebecca huffed out a laugh and tucked her fingers into his hair. “Perhaps tonight,” she suggested. “After dinner, we can sneak back here without anyone else around.”
He stopped to peek at her. “Mrs. Lasso, are you suggestin’ we ditch our family tonight so we can have some uninterrupted sex?”
“That is exactly what I’m suggesting, yes.”
Ted leaned in for a kiss, his hand dipping lower, but it was immediately interrupted by a sharp knock at their bedroom door. “Put your clothes on and come get some breakfast, Stinky! No need to scar the children so early in our trip.”
Rebecca stifled her laughter in the crook of Ted’s neck as he let his body collapse on top of hers. The pressure was nice, and if they didn’t have twelve of their closest friends and family only a floor away, she’d say ‘Fuck it’ and pick this back up.
“She’s always known how to ruin a moment,” Ted teased. “We ain’t done here though.”
“Tonight,” she told him. “I promise.”
“Tonight,” he repeated. “I’m gonna make you scream so loud you scare the damn fish away.”
Rebecca couldn’t contain her laughter as she pushed him away to get off the bed. It took them twice as long to get dressed, neither of them in any rush to leave the little bubble they had created for themselves. By the time they finally made it downstairs, everyone was sitting around the long, spacious dining table Rebecca had picked out two years ago. It was chosen with this in mind, days they’d have all of their people in one place, no matter how often it actually happened. They took the last two empty chairs, in between Emmy and Nora, and they joined in as if they had been there the entire time.
They spent hours sharing food and stories and laughs until the table and kitchen were cleaned up and everyone was getting ready for their day. One by one, their group thinned out, until the only ones left in the house were Ted and Rebecca. It seemed everyone had made plans to go out, and they had missed the memo. The house was quiet, almost too quiet, and she almost wished everyone would just come back home already.
“Did we get left behind?”
Rebecca laughed and turned towards Ted. “It seems like we did.”
He pulled her in by the waist, hands curled around her hips. “You got anythin’ in mind? Anythin’ you wanna do?”
“Besides you?” she asked with a smirk.
“That can be arranged, yeah.”
She leaned in to kiss him softly. “Can we go and sit on the roof after?”
He nodded. “I’ll take you anywhere you want, baby. You name it and we’ll go.”
She smiled and brushed a thumb across his mustache. “We’ve got all summer to explore. Right now, let’s just stay here.”
“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled against the pad of her thumb.
They took the stairs quickly, and it reminded her of when they were kids sneaking around while Maggie was gone. She and Ted never had a problem making time for each other, but these last few weeks had been busy. Between Henry’s graduation, the end of the school year for Rebecca, Emmy and Pippa, and the Premier League season wrapping up, it sometimes felt like they were all ships passing in the night.
But now it was just the two of them, and it seemed they were both eager to take advantage of that.
Rebecca followed Ted into their room, closing the door behind them and wasting no time. They were a tangled mess of discarded clothes and limbs, moving onto the mattress with ease. Their bodies moved in tandem, a synchronized dance only they had memorized. And just like always, they fell into a perfect rhythm. He kissed her slowly at first, but it grew frantic swiftly, mouths battling, fighting for air. Her fingers gripped the sheets while Ted kissed down her body, until his face settled between her legs. He licked her, sucking that sensitive spot between his teeth while her writhing body searched desperately for relief. His hands were heavy on her thighs as he held her open wide, guiding her through her first release of pleasure.
And the second time, their positions were flipped. Ted sat with his back against the headboard with Rebecca seated in his lap. She anchored herself to him, hands curled around his shoulders, moving slowly while she gave herself time to adjust. She wanted to savor this, because she honestly didn’t know if they’d get another opportunity to be alone on this trip.
His name left her lips in a breathy whisper when he shifted his hips, changing the angle he was at and hitting the spot she was always desperate to feel him. The spot he always made sure to hit.
“Fuck,” he mumbled. “I don’t know how much longer I can last.”
Rebecca brushed the hair from his forehead. “Just like when we were kids.”
Ted laughed, dropping his head against her chest. “You’re a real piece of work, baby.”
Her fingers moved into his hair while his lips ghosted over her left breast. “You love me,” she whispered.
His movements quickened, his thrusts going deeper and she closed her eyes before sparks started flying behind her lids. “Shit, Ted.” She tightened around him and their movements faltered.
“Go on, baby,” he breathed. “You can let go.”
Throwing her head back, she did just that, pulsating around him while that knot in her stomach unraveled. He followed behind, spilling into her until both of their bodies went limp. When their breathing steadied, and their heart rates slowed down, neither of them dared to move. Ted was still fully sheathed inside of her while she straddled his thighs, her muscles aching. “I love you,” she whispered, pushing those damp hairs from his forehead again.
His lips brushed against her temple. “I love you too,” he murmured. “How long d’you think we can stay like this?”
Rebecca opened her mouth to answer but stopped when she heard the front door open and close and a very familiar voice echoed through the halls. “I’ll be right back, Gigi! I left my camera upstairs!”
Pippa’s feet on the stairs followed and Ted dropped his forehead down to Rebecca’s chest. “These damn kids,” he spoke into her skin. “Never a minute of peace.”
She stifled her laughter and listened for the footsteps to return, the last big ‘thud’ as Pippa jumped from the third step to the main floor. “Found it!” she exclaimed and then the front door opened and closed again.
“She’s followin’ in your footsteps,” he spoke quietly. “I think she brought all of her cameras with her.”
Rebecca smiled. “I know. She asked me to order her enough film to last a lifetime.”
Ted landed a kiss in the valley between her breasts, and the scratch from his mustache sent a shiver down her spine. “No wonder her suitcase was so damn heavy.”
“We should move,” she whispered. She slowly lifted herself out of his lap, and the loss of him inside of her left Rebecca frowning. They took their time getting dressed again, twining their fingers and making their way up to the attic, crawling out onto the small balcony. Ted sat down first and Rebecca slid in between his legs until her back was flush against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, his chin resting easily on her shoulder as they looked out over the ocean. It was hot, the sun pinned high in the blue sky, but it felt so good against her skin.
“I was so sure I’d never see you again,” he confessed in a hushed tone. “Sometimes I still can’t believe you came back.”
Rebecca covered his hands with hers. “I knew that summer couldn’t be the beginning and the end for us. You’ve been etched into my heart from that very first day down on the beach.”
He kissed her cheek. “D’you ever wonder where we’d be if you’d said yes that second summer?”
“All the time,” she breathed. “And I think we would have made it work, but it would have been hard. I love where we are now though. Our beautiful children, our careers we were only dreaming of when we met. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”
Ted wove their fingers together on top of her stomach. “Yeah, I think we got exactly where we wanted to be. And I love doin’ this life with you.”
“We’ve been through so much,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “The long distance, your mum,” she trailed off.
“The babies,” he finished, and there was a noticeable break in his voice too.
“Our babies,” she agreed.
They had been in the midst of raising Henry and planning their wedding when they found out Rebecca was pregnant again. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome, and Rebecca was ecstatic knowing their family was growing again. During her pregnancy with Henry, the doctor had warned her of risks and possible outcomes that kept her up more nights that she would care to admit to. But early in the morning on October 4th, 2005, Rebecca gave birth to a very healthy baby boy at 7lbs. 6oz. She felt so much relief once she held their sweet angel in her arms, when everything seemed to go off without issue.
So when her second pregnancy was confirmed, she felt confident. She had carried Henry to term with zero complications. She let her guard down. And in February of 2007, at what should have been a routine check-up, her entire world flipped upside down.
“I’m so sorry, Rebecca.”
She had gone to the appointment alone, leaving Henry with Ted at the club. They had plans to meet for lunch where Rebecca hoped to show him a sonogram of their little one. Instead, she dialed his number with shaky hands, too numb to even leave the parking lot. He sat with her for two hours before he drove them home, leaving her car to deal with later. For a week, she barely left their bed, only enough to feed herself and attempt to clean up while Ted was in the office. She wasn’t very present for Henry, and it was something she still regretted to this day, but she thought he needed more than what she could offer him at the time. She still remembered the night she screamed at Ted. Clear as day, as if it had happened only yesterday.
“Rebecca, baby, I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” She knew it was a lie, but she wasn’t in the mood to discuss this.
He stepped closer, reaching out for her. “You’re not fine. And it’s okay that you’re not, but I don’t know how to help.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. I am fine.”
“Well I’m not,” he confessed. “But I feel like I gotta pretend to be because we both can’t be broken. We have a son here that needs you, that needs us.”
“And apparently that’s all we get.” Her voice broke, tears spilling down her cheeks.
Ted frowned at her. “Hey, that’s not true. We knew there would be risks, just like with Henry. Maybe we weren’t supposed to meet this baby but that doesn’t mean we won’t get another shot.”
“Maybe I don’t want another shot, Ted!” Her voice rose, and her whole body vibrated with frustration. “Do you know how absolutely devastating it was to sit in that room, staring at that screen, only to be told that she wasn’t moving? And I was alone, Ted. I sat there, by myself, watching and waiting for it all to be a mistake.”
Ted sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair. “You know I would’ve been there. If we had known that was gonna happen, you and I both know I wouldn’t have been sittin’ in that goddamn shareholders meetin’.”
She nodded. “I know. But Ted I cannot go through this again. I’m not strong enough.”
“Yes you are,” he said softly. He reached for her, taking her in his arms, wrapping her up tight in his hold. “Baby, you’re the strongest person I know, even if you don’t feel like it right now. But you don’t have to deal with any of this alone.”
“I wouldn’t have survived that loss without you,” she breathed out. “You took the most broken parts of me and put them back together so easily, and you had your own broken pieces to mend.”
Ted dropped a kiss to her bare shoulder. “We helped each other heal, and we got through it. And it wasn’t easy by any means.”
Rebecca smiled. “Do you remember the day we found out about Emmy?”
He laughed, the warmth of his breath revealing little goosebumps on her skin. “You took fifty tests that night. And then thirty more the next day.”
She laughed along with him. “I was in disbelief! We had been actively trying for two years by that point and I truly thought Henry was meant to be an only child just like we were.”
“I still remember your face when we saw her on the ultrasound for the first time.”
For Emmy, Ted didn’t miss a single appointment. They rearranged schedules and meetings to make sure he could be present with no issue. Rebecca went through the early weeks with her guard up. She monitored her diet and her movements closely, and probably scheduled more appointments than were necessary, but she was taking precautions everywhere she could. And her doctor didn’t mind, she helped as much as she was able to. So when they had the opportunity to see her for the first time, and there was a steady heartbeat that echoed through the small exam room, she smiled so wide, her cheeks hurt.
And then she sobbed.
She cried for the daughter they were being blessed with and the one they had lost three years prior. She cried for the part of her that died in that exam room, and the part that was being reborn with a new pregnancy. She cried for days, weeks, that she lost with Henry when she didn’t feel fit to be his mother. And she cried for her husband, the man who never let her believe she was anything less than remarkable. The man who helped her in ways she hadn’t even realized she needed. The man who held her as she cried in that exam room, and then took her for rocky road ice cream to satisfy an early craving.
Rebecca remained cautious through the duration of the pregnancy, but she breathed easier after each appointment that followed. And on December 18th, 2010, one week before Christmas, their baby girl was born, happy and healthy and perfectly perfect.
“That little girl was as sweet as can be from her very first day,” Ted said with a smile. “And so gentle. She gets that from you.”
Rebecca scoffed. “No one has ever said I am gentle.”
“Are you kiddin’? Rebecca, you are one of the most gentle people I’ve ever known,” he told her. “Whether it’s with our kids or the kids in your classroom, you’re kind. And you care so deeply. It’s one of the things I’ve always loved most about you.”
She hummed. “Tell me another thing you love about me.”
His lips were pressed to her ear. “I really love that thing you do with your tongue,” he whispered. “I think sometimes you don’t even realize you’re doin’ it.”
Rebecca shivered in his arms. “You should have said something, I would have done it earlier.”
“Later will work,” he said against the shell of her ear.
She could feel him half-hard against her lower back, which was quite honestly ridiculous considering they had fucked just an hour ago. “With your sex drive, it’s a wonder why we don’t have more children running around here.”
Ted chuckled, kissing her temple now. “You know I’d knock you up again if I could.”
Rebecca smiled, pulling him tighter around her like he was a light sweater. “Do you think we would have survived having five kids?”
There had been a fourth pregnancy, between Emmy and Pippa, and it left Rebecca feeling uneasy from the first sign, and the first positive test. There was some aspect that just never felt right and her suspicions were confirmed fairly early on, at only her second check-up. She thought it would be easier if she had never felt fully connected, but it killed her all the same. This time though, she didn’t pull away. She spent extra time with Henry and Emmy, filling her days with the babies she was lucky enough to have.
“I think Pip made sure she was enough of a handful that some days three felt like five.”
She laughed and nodded. “She certainly was the most enthusiastic of the three kids, and she still is.”
Finding out they were pregnant again after another loss felt like some sort of sick joke. After her second miscarriage in January 2012, they stopped trying. But they also weren’t being careful with any sort of protection. So when she ended up at the doctor in September with headaches so severe she couldn’t stay upright, she assumed she would be given some prescription for migraine medications and be sent on her way. But her doctor entered the room, smiling like a cartoon character, before she said “Perhaps you should get Ted on the phone.”
It was then that the miscarriages haunted her, waking her in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. If possible, she was even more careful during her pregnancy with Pippa than she had been with Emmy. It had ignited a flame of anxiety that had been dormant, and then it quickly spread through her like a wildfire. She added extra therapy sessions into her week as much as she could, making every attempt to keep those dark thoughts at bay. And when they finally welcomed Pippa on May 1st, 2013, she knew their family was complete.
“She completed our little family so perfectly,” Ted said, and it was no surprise he could still read her mind after all this time.
Rebecca nodded. “The final piece of our puzzle.” She relaxed deeper into his chest, closing her eyes for a moment. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”
He tightened his arms. “Sure you coulda, baby. I told you then and I’ll tell you now, you’re the strongest person I know. What you went through was completely unimaginable and I don’t know how you did it.”
“It was you, Ted,” she told him. “If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have survived. Even on the days when I yelled and I pushed you away, you stayed.”
Ted smiled against her cheek. “Honey, leavin’ was never an option. I promised you that before we were even thinkin’ about Henry.”
She tapped against his hands where they were still resting on her stomach. “Look,” she said quietly, pointing down towards the water. Henry and Phoebe were together, running through the low tide as it crashed into the sand. They couldn’t hear it, but she could see it on her face that Phoebe was laughing as Henry picked her up and swung her around before setting her back on her feet. Rebecca knew she should look away, that it probably seemed like she was spying, but her son looked so happy she couldn’t stop watching.
“Are they about to have their own Ted and Rebecca moment?” Ted asked in a hushed tone and Rebecca laughed.
“I believe they are.”
Rebecca’s mind took her back to 1993, to the day she met Ted on this beach. Where it all began. She had been feeling so angry, so mad at the world, and especially her parents. She dind’t care about the trip and she was ready to waste three months being invisible.
And then she met Ted and her entire life changed.
“Hey, what do you think about makin’ this an annual thing?” Ted asked. “Even if it’s just for a few weeks. Anyone who can come shows up, and we just have family time, away from everythin’ else.”
Rebecca smiled. “I think it would be nice to continue this, make it a tradition.”
Ted nodded. “We’ll mention it at dinner, see how everyone’s feelin’ about it.”
Dinner resulted in a resounding ‘yes’ from everyone, no hesitation from anyone in their group. This was what she had imagined when Paul had handed them the contracts and the keys to the house. She knew they wouldn’t use it all the time, but when they could, this was what she wanted. Their home and this city filled with the people she held closest to her heart. She watched her parents talk with Maggie over slices of apple pie, courtesy of Beard. Nora, Phoebe and Henry were posing for funny pictures while Pippa aimed her camera at them. Emmy was laughing with Keeley and Roy, and Sassy and Beard looked quite cozy at the end of the table. Ted’s hand ran back and forth lazily over her thigh, a light touch that was so calming, it was close to putting her to sleep.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked quietly.
She smiled and leaned into him. “This is better than anything I ever could have imagined. I dreamt of days like this for so long, but I never could have dreamt all of this.”
Ted dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “All of our people in one place.”
“Mummy, Daddy, smile!”
Pippa’s voice pulled their attention across the table, her polaroid camera poised in front of her face. Rebecca smiled as Ted pressed his cheek to hers, and his arms wrapped around her waist. Pippa took the picture and the film ejected from the top, but neither Ted nor Rebecca cared to move away. Their little girl shook the picture between her fingers and went back to talking to Nora, the rest of the family never missing a beat.
“Rebecca, she looks just like you did years ago,” Maggie said. “I don’t think I saw you without your camera all summer.”
Rebecca smiled. “I still have all of those pictures at the house,” she told her. “They live with Ted’s letters in the attic.”
Deborah leaned her chin into the palm of her hand. “Can you believe you kids have known each other for thirty years?”
Ted shook his head. “I can’t believe she’s put up with me for thirty years.”
“Well, there were those five years when I didn't speak to you,” she teased. “But we pretend that doesn’t count.”
“Worst five years of my life,” Sassy remarked.
Paul stretched his arm over the back of Deborah’s chair. “Do you two have any plans to celebrate your anniversary this year?”
Deborah nodded. “Oh I do hope so. Fifteen years is something to be proud of.”
Rebecca peeked over at Ted. “We really hadn’t discussed it yet. The girls and I will be back in school and Ted will have started with both teams. In fact we’ll probably be in the owner’s box that day for a match.”
Henry smiled at her. “Actually, there’s no match that week. We’ve already checked.”
“We?” Ted asked.
Emmy nodded. “We.”
“What is goin’ on here?”
Maggie looked over at Henry. “The kids have something they’d like to share with you.”
“We booked you a trip!” Pippa exclaimed.
Rebecca laughed nervously. “A trip where?”
Emmy wore her bright, beautiful smile as she answered. “Paris.”
“Paris?” Ted repeated.
Henry nodded. “Paris. You said you always wanted to go there on your honeymoon, but because you had me before the wedding, it never worked out. We went once, as a family, but now you’ll get to go together.”
Pippa frowned. “I never went to Paris.”
“We’ll go when you’re older, Pip,” Phoebe told her. “It’ll be a girl’s trip!”
Rebecca bit the inside of her cheek, fighting off the tears. “And who will watch the girls? Hen, you’ll be away at school.”
Maggie’s hand shot up. “I was already planning to visit in the fall anyways, so when Emmy called about their idea, it felt like perfect timing.”
Paul smiled at his daughter. “We’ll be around to help as well.”
“And I’ll be taking over your classroom again,” Keeley announced proudly. “Plus, Roy will keep the team under control. And if there’s an issue, he’ll get Beard involved. Or Paul.”
She wiped at the stray tears on her cheeks now. “You’ve planned everything?”
Henry and Emmy nodded, both smiling. “With a lot of help, yes.”
Rebecca frowned and opened her arms up wide. “You better get over here.”
All three kids wrapped her and Ted into the tightest, warmest group hug, and she couldn’t hold the tears off anymore. “How long have you been plannin’ this?” Ted asked.
“Two months,” Pippa answered through a giggle.
“Two months?” Rebecca was stunned. “And every single one of you managed to keep this a secret?”
Emmy laughed and kissed her mother’s cheek. “It was the hardest secret to keep. I thought Uncle Beard would be the first to break.”
“I almost did,” he confessed. “For a very brief moment in a coaches meeting last week. But I fought through it, and I didn’t ruin anything.”
Ted coughed out a laugh. “While we were discussin’ that Paris Saint-Germain match. Beardo, you looked like you were in physical pain durin’ that. I thought you had some one-sided beef with Barcola or somethin’.”
Beard shook his head. “I was simply fighting for my life.”
Rebecca kissed each of her kids on the forehead. “I love you all so much. Thank you for being the most wonderful children.”
“Thank you for being the best parents,” Henry whispered.
Raising three kids was no easy feat, and some days, Rebecca felt like she just wasn’t doing enough. That she wasn’t good enough to be a mother to these three remarkable children. But sitting here now, the realization setting in that their children thought to plan them an anniversary trip so they could celebrate alone, it was evident they had done something right. Even if they didn’t always know what they were doing.
“You guys make it so easy,” Ted told them before he pressed a kiss to Henry’s temple.
She thought that might be the understatement of a lifetime.
*****
Their trip had flown by too quickly and suddenly they found themselves on their last night in Myrtle Beach. Pippa had gone through every last roll of film she had packed. Emmy read each book she had brought with her, and was going home with five new ones. And Henry had spent nearly all of his time exploring the town with Phoebe, and he was going home with a new title: boyfriend. They were the last to leave the house, their flights scheduled for the following morning. Ted and Rebecca had a little secret of their own for the kids, two weeks in Kansas with Maggie before they returned to Richmond. The kids were upstairs, packing their things and getting ready for bed, but Ted and Rebecca had made their way out onto the back porch, enjoying tea while they looked out over the ocean from the rocking chairs she had ordered six summers ago.
“I think this was pretty successful,” Ted said before he took a sip from his mug.
Rebecca smiled. “This was perfect.”
Ted slid his free hand over her thigh. “You know what I was thinkin’ the whole time we had everyone here?”
She turned to look at him and covered his hand with her own. “What’s that?”
“How much my dad would’ve loved this,” he told her quietly. “He loved this place so much, especially this house, and to know we kept it in the family? And that we fell in love here? To know his grandkids get to fall in love with this beach town just like he did when he was their age? He would’ve been so damn happy.”
Rebecca smiled. “He knows, my love.”
Ted smiled back at her. “I know Mama wishes he were still here. But I also know that everythin’ happens for a reason. And the things that have happened up until this point have brought us here.”
“We sure did go to hell and back,” she marveled. “But it was worth it.”
Ted nodded. “And I’d do it all over again a million times.”
Rebecca huffed out a laugh. “I think maybe I’d omit a few things, but I know what you mean.”
He smiled. “Okay, you might be right about that.”
“It feels so surreal being here with the kids,” she commented. “They were just a dream for so many years, especially that summer, and now they’re here. Seeing Henry walk on this beach with Phoebe, or watching Emmy and Pip eat their ice cream on the Boardwalk, it’s beautiful.”
Ted lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I know what you mean,” he told her. “The other mornin’, when all the kids were down at the beach tossin’ around the football, it sorta felt like new versions of our story bein’ rewritten.”
She smiled. “I like to think of it as brand new chapters being added to our story. Because our story here isn’t just you and I anymore, it’s all five of us.”
“Wait until we get to bring our grandkids here,” he mused. “That’ll be a whole new set of stories to tell.”
Rebecca laughed. “I’m not quite sure I’m ready to be a grandma just yet. Although you will make a rather gorgeous grandpa with your gray hairs and glasses.”
“Sweetheart, are you flirtin’ with me?”
“I might be.”
“Bring that energy to Paris and we won’t be leavin’ that hotel room.”
She huffed out another laugh. “Can you believe they kept that a secret? The whole lot of them! Even my mum, who’s arguably the worst secret keeper in the entire world, has known for two entire months.”
Ted smiled. “Yeah, I’m honestly shocked no one spilled the beans on that. I woulda thought Pip would be the one to let it slip.”
“Do you remember the last time we went to Paris?” Rebecca asked, her eyebrow quirked.
“I remember you breakin’ the bed,” he replied with a wink. “And I remember bein’ very thankful we invited your parents to join us to watch Hen and Emmy.”
“Excuse me, I did not break that bed alone,” Rebecca argued. “You were just as much to blame, if not more.”
He gave her a mischievous smile. “You just looked so damn good that night,” he told her. “I had a hard time keepin’ my hands to myself.”
Rebecca sighed. “Have we really not traveled without the kids since our honeymoon? That doesn’t seem right.”
Ted paused, but she knew he was going to come up short in the same way she had. Rebecca had been thinking about it for days, going over every single trip she could remember them taking since Henry was born. And every single one included at least one of their kids, except for their short honeymoon. “Y’know honey, I think you’re right. We’ve always taken the kids with us.”
“Well, my father has always said there’s no greater education than travel,” she commented. “Even if we maybe started them too young.”
“Nah, no such thing,” he responded. “They might not always remember those early trips, but we will. And we’ve got plenty of pictures to show them.”
Rebecca smiled, squeezing lightly around his fingers. “Do you know what my favorite trips were though?”
He peeked over at her. “Kansas?”
She nodded. “Kansas. It’s just as much home as this place and Richmond are for us. And it was always important to me that they got to experience the place you grew up.”
“You remember the first time the kids were all old enough to play together?” Ted asked. “They stayed out in that pond until the sun went down.”
“Their skin was so wrinkled and still so tanned,” she said with a giggle. “I think they get that from you.”
Ted scoffed. “What are you talkin’ about? Look at you! You look like you’ve been kissed by the sun, baby.”
They sat in silence together, the moon hanging high in the night sky and reflecting off the water. Rebecca was having a hard time accepting that this was their last night in town, and tomorrow they’d be on a plane to Kansas. It had never been easy to leave the beach, but this might be the hardest year yet. Ted’s thumb brushed across her knuckles and he exhaled a slow breath. “How’s your tattoo feelin’?”
She smiled. “Good. I’m very happy with it.”
Four days ago, while on the boardwalk with Ted, she joked about how it might be nice to add onto her tattoo, but she didn’t know what exactly she wanted. They returned home that night and she brainstormed with Ted until he pulled out his iPad. He wouldn’t show her the screen until he was done, and what he finally revealed to her was worth the wait. The final piece was three individual flowers, birth flowers for each of the kids, but it felt like something was still missing.
Until she asked Ted to sketch his birth flower as well.
Now, a small bouquet sat close to her heart, all of her favorite people represented in one place. Ted already had something similar, a floral sleeve stretching down his arm starting with the magnolia on his chest. It was the same flowers inked on both of them.
“Did you notice your son trying to hide his own tattoo this morning?” she asked with a smile.
Ted laughed. “He’s actin’ like we’d be mad if we found out. Like he didn’t spend half his life fillin’ mine in with those crazy markers.”
Rebecca smiled. “I bet Pippa still would if you asked her to.”
“I' thinkin' he’s waitin’ until it heals to show us,” Ted suggested. “Or maybe it’s not done yet.”
They would later learn, on their second day in Kansas, that a surprise is exactly what Henry was going for, and an emotional one at that. A piece inspired by both Ted and Rebecca’s, his own large bouquet of flowers on his right upper thigh, a stem for each member of their family, and one for Phoebe too. It had brought them both to tears and when Maggie joked about not being represented, Henry was quick to confirm he already had something in mind for her, and for his other grandparents as well.
“I love you, Ted.” Her voice was so gentle, and she tried to keep herself from breaking, but she was teetering on the edge.
“I love you too, baby,” he replied. “I can’t believe I’ve been lovin’ you for thirty years.”
She smiled and lifted her mug towards him, the liquid now cold inside. “To thirty more.”
Ted clinked his mug against hers. “And maybe a few more after that.”
“Forever,” she whispered.
“Forever,” he whispered back.
Forever still wouldn’t be long enough.
Notes:
I cannot express to you how much this fic means to me, and how happy I am that so many of you have enjoyed it immensely. I could not have done this without a lot of creative minds. Liz, Em, Lena, Kristi, Alyssa and Rachel: thank you. For brainstorming, for editing, for spitballing ideas with me until I couldn't think straight.
And to all of you who have taken the time to read these goofy little words I decided to put together: I love you.
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