Chapter Text
It’s not like trouble wasn’t normal in Sans’s household. After the last two failures trying to bring back Gaster and instead bringing in two sets of alternates, he was used to seeing the weirdest things brought back into the house ( sans permission) and members of the household being either willfully obnoxious or unbearably oblivious.
Say last week when Red sat out on the porch the whole night, drunk off his coccyx throwing stones at the house until one hit Edge’s window and Edge came out, screaming and arms thrashing and dragging Red back in angrily by his collar, waking everyone up at 2 in the stars damn morning. Everyone but Red, who slagged nonchalantly in his brother’s hold, fast asleep.
Then just two days ago when Blue brought home a police force dog, stars in his eye sockets and started pleading with Sans to keep the dog.
Sans usually wouldn’t have cared, knowing between Blue and Papyrus, the dog would be well taken care of (though Papyrus and Edge had a… unique judgment against the dog, aghast at dogs stealing their bones. “NOT ONLY WILL THE DOG STEAL MY BONES, BUT HE MIGHT STEAL MY FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI AS WELL, SANS!”) but he never knew how… illegal things were with Blue. Not intentionally.
“Hehe, where did you get the dog, Blue?”
“WHY AT WORK! DID YOU KNOW DOGS ARE USED AS A K9 UNIT TO HELP IN CASES ON THE SURFACE AS WELL? THEY ALSO MAKE FOR AMAZING STRESS RELIEF!”
“Did they say you could take the dog home, Blue?”
“WHY, THEY SAID I COULD TAKE THE DOG WITH ME AS PART OF MY QUESTS! QUESTS ARE ADVENTURES AND EVERY DAY IS A NEW ADVENTURE!”
“Uh Blue, you may have to take that dog back, bud.” Followed 5 minutes later by a phone call confirming this.
Today’s particular brand of trouble came from Papyrus. Sans looked up to greet Papyrus as he came back from work, recognizing the familiar comfort of his brother’s soulbeat. His brother’s scent was one that Sans was familiar with from childhood, but hadn’t been able to place until they reached the surface.
Pine cones, aloe, cinnamon.
Brother. Safety.
Content, Sans was ready to grace his brother with his ‘pun of the day.’ Only for his mandible to drop and then go back in place before Paps noticed and got worried.
“Evening, Paps. What do you have with ya?”
“EVENING, BROTHER! WHY, WHAT AN EXCELLENT QUESTION! HERE I HAVE THE INGREDIENTS FOR MY WORLD FAMOUS FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI!” Before popping out his hip and gesturing eagerly to the bags of uncooked pasta, pasta sauce, tomatoes, eggs, and was that soap? before turning back to Sans.
“Egg-cellent, Paps. What do you have behind your ingredients?”
Papyrus groaned in exasperation at the pun, already debating heading out again to avoid more, before the second part of Sans’s comment clicked and he turned eagerly a second time behind him.
“AH, ANOTHER FANTASTIC QUESTION SANS! YOU’RE BECOMING MUCH MORE OBSERVANT AND INVOLVED, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. WHY, THIS IS MY NEW TINY HUMAN FRIEND! TINY HUMAN FRIEND, MEET MY LAZYBONES BROTHER SANS” at this he moved from in front of the child, gesturing at Sans, before continuing, “AND SANS, MEET TINY HUMAN FRIEND! ISN’T SHE CUTE?”
Sans stared in disbelief at the kid. As an older brother, he was fully prepared to take responsibility for and help guide his younger brother through his actions. Now the action of bringing home a random human child may be a bit over what he’d signed up for.
The scientist in him took over.
What am I supposed to do with her? Where did Papyrus find her? Stars, he didn’t accidentally kidnap the kid did he? How am I supposed to fix that?
Can I sneak her back to where she’s supposed to be? Would it look bad for us if I took her to the cops— stars yes that would look bad! Humans take any excuse to lock us up! They’ve done it for less than coming home with a human child!
He subtly clenched his hands in annoyance.
And how old is she? 4?
“6!” The child spoke up. “I’m 6!”
Sans felt himself taken aback for a second just as the child comically hyper forced open her eyes, putting her hands on her mouth. That was an odd coincidence. Ok… he had to talk.
“You’re 6,” he responded dryly. Good going, Sans. That’s exactly how you talk to children.
“I’m 6,” the child repeated, nodding in agreement. Well at least she’s just as awkward , Sans thought, examining the kid.
Weapons? Not that I see. Could be hiding one but where?
I’ll CHECK her. Just to be safe.
A part of Sans, a gentle nagging at the back of his skull, knew he was being paranoid. The kid looked as confused as Pap did and for stars, this kid was younger than Frisk! 6? She was practically a babybones!
But the other part, the part that had seen a human child rampage, destroy, kill, and tear apart the underground monster by monster over and over again was dead set ( heh) on making sure the kid wasn’t a threat.
Before he could do that, it was like his voice came out on its own. “You’re a child,” Sans continued. Now words were coming out before his brain – or lack of – processed and a nagging feeling of shame crept up.
Stars Sans, talking to a kid should not be as awkward as this.
The child’s head tilted to a side. “I’m not a child, I’m Anya!”
Another stiff head nod. “Right, you’re Anya.”
During this exchange, Papyrus looked back and forth between the two. Paps wasn’t stupid. He knew that not all humans were kind (he’d seen the anti-monster rights protestors, no matter how quickly Sans teleported them away before they could be affected and tried to change the subject whenever he brought it up). But he also knew humans could be kind. That anybody, any soul, treated with unconditional positive regard, encouragement and compassion could be a good person. Frisk, a human child, had been the one to save them after all!
And it would do his brother good to see the same.
That was a big part of the reason Papyrus brought home the tiny human ( ANYA, THAT’S HER NAME!). So his brother could learn that he didn’t have to constantly keep looking over his shoulder, wary of humans, and could trust and learn to care for a human that wasn’t just Frisk.
AND THEN MY BROTHER WILL BE HAPPY! THAT’S WHAT I CARE ABOUT, MY BROTHER’S HAPPINESS!
Mind set, he started pulling Anya into the house. “THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO GET OUT OF THE LAB AND WORK WITH OTHERS, SANS! FROM NOW ON, I PARTIALLY ENTRUST YOU WITH THE LIVELIHOOD AND WELL-BEING OF TINY ANYA! THAT’S NOT TO SAY YOU’LL BE ALONE IN THIS, FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL BE BY YOUR SIDE, BUT I HOPE THAT YOU TOO WILL SOON TAKE INITIATIVE AND CARE FOR ANYA!”
Sans’ words died. A part of him still processing the events leading up to right now and thinking it was all a dream.
Heh, yeah, a dream, that’s what this is. Must’ve seen this kid while shortcutting outside of Grillby’s or something. Or maybe she was one of the rescue kids Blue helped and told me a story about? Or one of the annoying kids that Edge goes on long rants about who constantly tip over their meals while Edge goes out to serve them at work. A kid Stretch saw at Muffets?
He could only answer, “Heh, you’re so cool bro.” Papyrus straightened his spine and grinned in agreement. “NYEH!”
The child ( Anya, he corrected himself) glanced at him strangely for a bit before turning to Papyrus with a smile.
“Do you have peanuts? Anya likes peanuts!”
It was when Papyrus’s eyelights turned to hearts that Sans knew he had been defeated. No way Paps wasn’t getting his way now.
“WHY OF COURSE TINY HUMAN ANYA! YOU MAY HAVE ALL THE PEANUTS YOU WANT! WHAT’S THE MAGIC WORD?”
“Please?”
“GOOD!” he praised, running off to the kitchen with Anya at his heels.
~~~
Night 1 with Anya, Sans’s POV, Paps and Anya working on dinner in the kitchen
~~~
He had to hide the kid. Introducing her to the others would lead to questions, questions that he was not in the mood to answer. Better yet, simply not introduce the kid to the others and return her to her rightful place all on his own. Blue would get attached. He always did. Stretch would be upset seeing Blue upset, and Sans was already (metaphorically) sweating thinking about what excuse to feed Papyrus to keep him from guilting him to bring her back.
Red and Edge would probably take his side since he couldn’t see either of them having the patience or willing to put up with a child.
At least in this case they’d be good for something that’s not getting themselves into a fight or wasting all the grocery money on booze.
Yes, Sans was still bitter about that. He’d sent Red out to get tomatoes, uncooked pasta, and onions, not to come home with a full liquor bar. Empty monster booze bottles thrown haphazardly near the trash (near, not in) taunted him in response.
He inched his way into the kitchen, staring warily at Anya as Papyrus taught her how to crush the potatoes, picking it up in one hand and squishing the life out of it. Anya followed, her tightest grip barely making a dent. That made Sans feel better, if even just by a bit. Realizing that, he felt like an asshole.
“Heh, Paps, isn’t it time to take Anya to bed?”
Papyrus slapped his hands against his cheeks in response. “WHY YES! IT IS TO MY KNOWLEDGE THAT TINY HUMAN BABYBONES REQUIRE A PROPER 8 HOURS OF SLEEP TO GROW INTO A FULLY HEALTHY HUMAN! COME TINY HUMAN ANYA, I SHALL ASSIGN YOU A ROOM! TOMORROW WE MAY GO SHOPPING TO GET YOU DECORATIONS TO MAKE YOUR ROOM COOL! IT WILL NOT BE AS COOL AS MINE, BUT SECOND BEST IS ALWAYS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!”
Anya giggled along and followed Papyrus excitedly, Papyrus pausing for a second before hoisting the little girl to his shoulders and running. She squealed in delight, holding on to him as he ran.
“Faster, faster, faster!”
“NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!”
After they were out of sight, Sans heaved a sigh. Shit, Paps was getting attached too fast. Not that he was surprised, his brother was cool like that. Trusting and kind, baring his SOUL open to others. He had a strength that Sans respected more than anything. The strength to trust so fully and freely, to love unconditionally and endlessly, and to stick to his morals despite all circumstances. It was something he loved his brother for, and something he needed to protect. Something he would always protect.
Even if it meant temporary pain.
He warped to Stretch and Blue’s shared room, seeing one of the skeletons in question snoozing near the television.
“Hey Stretch, I need your help for a bit, pal.”
Stretch popped open an eye socket. “What can I do for ya, Classic?”
“I need you to find me information on someone. Anything you can. We need to return her.”
“Her?”
“Just look up this name, Stretch.”
Stretch scrolled through some sites aimlessly, opening up social media pages and online websites looking for information on the kid. Sans gave a simple explanation of what happened earlier with Papyrus and the kid and after a few chuckles at Sans’s expense (“Wow Classic, that’s what I call an impression”), Stretch got to work scouring the web for the kid.
While Sans’s strength was in machines and dimensional research, Stretch was better at machines in the context of household appliances and particularly computers. Red was decent at appliances too (and he was the one who figured out how to set up the generator for power outages, one of the biggest disadvantages of an older house), but his specialization was in vehicles, so Stretch was the better alternative ( hehe ) for the job.
Still, Stretch’s expertise lay on the outside of computers and putting them together, not so much the internet, and this along with the limited information on the kid on the web had him at a loss.
“You’re not gonna like this Classic, but I didn’t find anything on the kid. She’s not on any social media, no website or articles posted about her, no weirdo parents posting vicariously through her, and she’s too young to be put into any school rosters. The end result is zip.”
“Keep looking, there’s gotta be something, Stretch!”
“I keep telling ya there’s nothing Sans!”
Sans paced for a bit before turning back to Stretch. “Is there really nothing we can do?”
“Nah, I didn’t say that. Our best bet is to ask Papyrus where he found the kid and explore there. In other words, field work. You in?”
Sans mentally berated himself for not thinking of that earlier. These were the types of questions I should’ve asked earlier, what was I doing?
Stretch leaned back, quietly observing Sans. He hadn’t seen Classic this… shaken, for the lack of better words, ever. And he understood it. Hell, he was thinking of the same thing. The amount of times the kid killed Blue… the dust as he called out for his bro, just barely seeing his brother’s SOUL flicker before the inevitable shatter, the pain in his own SOUL…
No, no, stop, get out of this! Not in that timeline!
By the time Stretch came back, Sans had already warped out.
~~~
Day 2 with Anya, Red’s POV
~~~
Something was up with his softer alternatives. Or well, Classic and Stretch. They bitched at him all the time for being late on coming down to help with the machine and the one morning he’s actually there by 10 AM, neither of them are here.
Assholes.
He lit a cigarette, holding it and blowing for a few seconds, watching as the smoke made the air around him hazy for a minute before clearing. Just for him to do it again, enjoying the deliberation of the hazy air. It was something he controlled, if even for a minute.
He heard footsteps coming down the stairs approaching the lab and plastered his signature scowl on his face before turning to the door, freezing as the door slammed open. Classic and Stretch didn’t slam open doors, hell come to think of it they didn’t walk down the stairs either, they teleported in like the lazy assholes they were. Not that he could critique them for that. Pot calling back the kettle?
Then he was face to face with a… kid?
“You’re invited to breakfast! You’re late but Mister Papy said you can still come! You should come! You can meet Anya there too!”
Red had lots of questions for this little brat, including how the hell she got here in the first place and how she knew Papyrus of all people (actually, he could answer that all on his own, Creampuff and Blue were exactly the type of people to bring home strays) but the first one that came out was, “the hell’s an Anya?”
The girl, seemingly anticipating this question, hiked up the sides of her skirt and twirled for good measure before posing with her hands on her hips. “Me! I’m Anya!”
“... Where the hell did ya come from?”
~~~
Day 2 with Anya, Sans’s POV
~~~
He and Stretch were at the place Papyrus found Anya. When asked, Pap was all too happy to share the story of his chivalry, helping a little girl in need.
“NYEH, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS ON HIS WAY HOME WHEN I THOUGHT, ‘WHY, WHY DON’T I TAKE THE SCENIC FOREST ROUTE AND GRACE THE TREES AND ANIMALS WITH MY PRESENCE?’ SO THEN I TOOK THE ROUTE THROUGH THE FOREST-Y AREA AND SAW OUR TINY HUMAN FRIEND ANYA SITTING ALL BY HER LONESOME ON A TREE STUMP! AND IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN GENTLEMANLY TO LEAVE HER THERE ALONE SO I WENT AND SAID HI! AND THEN I LEARNED THAT SHE WAS SO CUTE AND HAD NOWHERE TO GO! ISN’T THAT SAD, SANS? SO THEN I BROUGHT HER HOME!”
“That’s awesome, bro. What a story. Tree-ly grateful to hear it.”
“ARGH SANS! THAT’S ENOUGH! I TELL YOU A STORY AND YOU TORTURE ME!”
Now Stretch joined in. “Tree-ly sorry, Papyrus.”
“THAT’S THE SAME BAD JOKE!! THAT’S EVEN LAZIER!”
So there they were, Stretch sitting back at the same stump Anya was found while Sans wandered, looking for the place the child could have come from.
“It doesn’t make sense. There’s no human settlement or houses for miles out. There’s no way the kid just showed up here!” Sans thought back and didn’t remember seeing dirt or sweat or a suitcase or anything on the kid either, and the kid looked relatively well-fed (or at least wasn’t complaining of being hungry first thing). So there goes his runaway idea.
But then what happened? What was he missing?
“You’re overthinking this, Classic. Humans have cars. Kids can hop into cars and be dropped off places.”
“... You’re saying someone left her here?”
“That’s the only valid conclusion. We would’ve seen missing person papers out here or online if someone really cared enough to look for her, she’s been missing for over a day.”
“... Shit.”
“Shit.”
~~~
Day 2 with Anya, Edge’s POV
~~~
The day, for once, had been excellent. His useless brother was strangely quiet, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum were out, and Tweedle-dumber and Tweedle-dumbest were engaged in the kitchen ( A/N: who do we think is who? ), talking surprisingly softly (though he did hear Blue let out an irritatingly loud happy squeal that had him rolling his eye sockets).
So he could sit and plan his new ideas for the outdoor training maze in peace. Perhaps he should use spikes for the next one? Or a laser? So many possibilities!
He came down to make lunch, fully intending to push the two nuisances out of his kitchen (they were lucky he allowed them in there in the first place! Those imbeciles were not worthy of entering his second domain in this house), when he was practically barreled over by an excited Papyrus.
“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING, IDIOT!”
“MY MISTAKE, EDGE!” Then Papyrus shouted in the direction of the kitchen. “I’LL BE BACK, PLEASE WAIT FOR ME!”
Rolling his eyelights again at the conversation between the two creampuffs of the household, he stepped in, rolling his shoulders back and took an apron from the pantry before entering the kitchen.
Interestingly, no Blue in sight.
Oh well, not his problem, though now he was slightly confused as to who Papyrus was yelling to. He tightened the apron, reaching into the fridge to grab the steak for the night before placing it down on the chopper board, already putting water into a pot for a side of soup when an unfamiliar voice rang from right next to his left ear socket, a warm breath causing his shoulder blade to tense. “Ehh, what are you making?”
“NYAHHH??”
~~~
Neutral POV
~~~
The minute Sans and Stretch re-entered the house, they were confronted by furious footsteps stomping towards the entrance, predicting (correctly) that Edge had a bone to pick with them.
Sans winced a bit in sympathy seeing Anya held up by her hair by Edge, the little girl clawing at Edge and yelling at him to let go.
“MEANIE, MEANIE, YOU'RE A MEANIE! HURTS!”
“SHUT UP, THIS IS HOW WE DISCIPLINE BRATS LIKE YOU,” Edge screamed back at her face, Sans sighing and feeling a throbbing in his skull, wishing (not for the first time) that he had the kid’s reset abilities. Imagining how nice it would’ve been to go back to before his house went to hell.
It was Stretch that spoke up first. “She’s a kid Edge, drop ‘er.”
Edge turned angrily to him at the same time that Red warped in. “Great timing, the hell‘re we doin’ with a kid?”
Sans had hoped that this conversation would never happen. He’d hoped that going to the place Papyrus found her would answer his questions and find the place that Anya called home, allowing them to drop her off before the rest of the household came to know about her. Of course, things never went the way he hoped. Instead of answers, all they got was the realization that they were stuck with the kid until a better option came around.
Still, he had enough tact to not talk about it in front of the child.
“Put the kid down and we’ll talk.” Edge begrudgingly did so, though Sans was not sure if that was because of what he said or the fact that Anya had slowly started crying, her wails getting louder by the second. Sans truly hoped that the kid wasn’t really in too much pain, for one to avoid backlash against monsters if this came out, but also because she’s literally a babybones .
He still couldn’t believe that this was a version of his brother.
At her crying, Blue rushed out from his shower ( so that’s where he was, Edge mused) and pulled the baby into a hug, softly cooing at her and sending a punishing glare over to Edge, his look saying all the words he wanted to express.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?
Anya hugged him harder at that and he lifted her gently, set her on his back and made airplane noises at her while starting to run. Anya’s cries slowly ceased before they turned to giggles and she happily clutched onto Blue’s shoulders as Blue ran out of the room, both of them squealing as they went.
Stretch’s eyelights turned soft. That’s my bro. Heh, he’s so cool.
Conflict out of the way for now, Sans turned to the point in hand. “Family meeting. 9 pm, after Papyrus tucks the kid into bed.”
9 pm came sooner than Sans was ready for and he waited a couple minutes as they all took their respective seats in the living room. He and Papyrus shared the smaller beige loveseat closest to the entrance of the room, Edge immediately claimed the luxury single-seater coach, Red took the recliner and propped his feet up on the small circular glass table and Stretch and Blue sat on juxtaposing bean bag chairs closer to the tv.
Anya was already tucked in and Papyrus turned to him with a bright smile. “YOU CALLED FOR A HOUSE MEETING, BROTHER? THOUGH NEXT TIME WE SHOULD HOLD IT AT A MORE REASONABLE HOUR SO THAT ANYA MAY JOIN US! IT IS ALSO A FEW MINUTES PAST MY BEDTIME, SANS! I GO AT NINE ON THE DOT!”
A scowl from Edge and Stretch gently shaking Blue awake showed that the other two Papyri personalities felt the same way.
Sans didn’t quite have the heart to tell his brother that that was the intention - to choose a time where they could talk without Anya, seeing as how she was the topic of discussion.
“Heh, right bro. I called us here because others might be a bit confused. Have you talked about how you found Anya yet?”
Papyrus gasped and exaggeratedly (to Sans’s fondness) slapped his hands against his cheekbones as he lamented. “NYOOO HOO HOO! I FORGOT TO TELL EVERYBODY SANS! I WAS UNDER THE WRONG IMPRESSION THAT IT WAS ALRIGHT SINCE THEY ALL MET ON THEIR OWN, BUT YOU ARE INDEED CORRECT, BROTHER! A PROPER STORY IS IN ORDER!”
Sans patted his brother’s shoulder softly, not wanting him to beat himself up about it, and Papyrus excitedly told the story of how he found Anya again to the whole group, adding in his own hand motions and facial expressions to really bring the point home ( hehe).
“… AND THAT’S HOW ANYA CAME TO BE LIVING WITH US TODAY! I HOPE WE CAN ALL TREAT HER WITH THE KINDNESS AND RESPECT THAT SHE, AS A NEW FAMILY MEMBER, DESERVES! THAT WILL BE ALL FOR NOW!” Papyrus ended with a firm nod before sitting back down, allowing Sans to take back the lead.
From his spot, Blue let out a cheer. “MAGNIFICENT STORY, PAPYRUS! ALMOST AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME, THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE! MISS ANYA IS PRETTY MAGNIFICENT TOO!” His blue eyelights shined, thinking of all the fun memories they had that day since he’d escaped with her around lunch. He took her on “airplane” rides, they’d played hide and seek, they’d played tag, they’d role played as spies (this, he learned, was Anya’s favorite game - she loved anything spy related, from talking in secret codes to making mouth sounds effects of weapons). He couldn’t wait to make a puzzle designed especially for her, spy-themed! What a new challenge it would be!
Speaking of challenges, she’d won every game of Battleship they’d played! She was such a good little sleuth, she guessed the locations of his sea troops right away!
Remembering something, he looked to Edge. He was still upset about his treatment of Anya from earlier. There was a reason he worked in public safety, specifically in the children’s department. His work was about making sure kids were safe, away from harm and in a place they could happily call home, with a proper support system to nurture them and help them grow.
Seeing Edge hold Anya like that, completely uncaring of her tears and complaints, sparked something in him.
How could he possibly stand there and let something happen in HIS home that he would not stand for at his work? No, his morals were on the line here and since nobody else was fighting back or confronting Edge, it was up to him.
Blue wasn’t ignorant of Edge’s universe. Both were fairly outspoken about it, their “kill or be killed” world where monsters had to be strong and ready for a fight since childhood or they’d be dusted before reaching adulthood. They spoke about it nonchalantly, with that “it is what it is” persona. He was also aware, from his force training psychology crash courses, that these feelings wouldn’t go away immediately.
He knew their universe was traumatic. He knew it was easy for him to see differently, since he didn’t go through their universe. Blue had sympathy, and Blue had patience and HoPe.
But Blue also had limits. And heartlessly harming a child that couldn’t be older than 4 crosses them.
“EDGE, HOLDING A SMALL CHILD BY HER HAIR IS NO WAY TO HOLD THEM. WHAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY LED YOU TO THINKING THAT HOLDING LITTLE MISS ANYA LIKE THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA? YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUSLY HURT HER! SHE WAS CRYING!”
Edge sneered back. “THE BRAT WAS FINE, THOSE WERE CROCODILE TEARS.” He huffed in annoyance. He wasn’t even roughly tugging on the hair or anything, he could have done much worse! Could have smacked her, thrown her out immediately, or broken something. That brat had snuck up on HIM at HIS own home! Startled HIM!
OR YOU'RE JUST BITTER THAT THE FIRST ONE TO TAKE YOU OFF GUARD IN THIS SOFT WORLD WAS A LITTLE GIRL, a part of his thoughts taunted him.
But no, he and his brother and the other children in his universe had endured worse at a younger age. He was bullied and almost pushed off a cliff in the Hotlands as a babybones! He was attacked coming home after getting groceries. He was sneered at and grabbed for taking a second too long fishing out a G to pay for the groceries.
BUT YOUR BROTHER PROTECTED YOU.
No. He shook himself out of his thoughts. He wasn’t at fault. The brat needed to learn how to take a hit, how to deal with disappointment and pain early on. He was doing her a favor, nobody would have left her unpunished for the fiendish prank she pulled! Sneaking up on him, as a stranger in his own home, while he was in the safety of his kitchen working! Bah!
As far as Edge was concerned, she had been dealt with properly.
“Enough!” This time, it was Sans who called out. “We’re here to talk about Anya, not fight amongst ourselves. This is what’s happening: the kid has to stay. Stretch and I both looked, and couldn’t find anyone seeking out her return. Nothing on the Internet or near where she was found. Taking her to the cops, as we know, is out of the question. Until we have news of someone looking for her, she stays with us.”
Papyrus tilted his head in confusion. “I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALWAYS THE PLAN, BROTHER? WHY, I ALREADY MADE PLANS TO GO INTO TOWN WITH HER TOMORROW TO GET HER HER OWN BED AND DECORATIONS FOR HER ROOM. I THINK SHE'D HAVE FUN!”
Blue clapped along. “YES! THAT SOUNDS SO EXCITING! I THINK SHE MAY ALSO WANT A RACECAR BED! OOH OR PERHAPS A PRINCESS ONE? MAYBE A PRINCESS RIDING A RACECAR!”
Blue lit up thinking of all the possibilities.
“I SAY WE JUST BOOT HER. LET HER FIND HER OWN WAY. WE HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO KEEP HER.” Edge crossed his arms, looking about as excited as Sans expected. Which was, not excited in the slightest.
“Morally, we can’t do that,” Stretch sighed. “This should only be a temporary thing. If not her parents, I’m sure extended family or friends will eventually come looking. The important thing is to not get attached.” He looked at his brother and Papyrus at this, knowing as well as everyone else that they were already attached.
“DONE,” Edge scoffed, grabbing Red by the back of his collar and pulling him towards their shared room. “THERE WILL BE NO OTHER TOMFOOLERY THIS EVENING. I WILL BE OFF TO BED.”
Papyrus called out a bit after that, Sans following behind for his bedtime story and Stretch gently carried Blue to their shared room, the smaller skeleton already asleep in his hold.
At least for that night, everything was settled.
~~~
TIMESKIP: Week 2 with Anya, Stretch’s POV
~~~
Stretch didn’t miss the looming dread of Chara resetting the timeline and waking up in the same place right outside of the ruins, waiting with a buzzer in hand to greet the kid. Same knock knock jokes with the king behind the ruins. Same promise. Same conversation with the kid. Same conversation with Sans, now Blue.
Not knowing which kid was there to greet him, the sweet, amiable kid with boundless curiosity or the eerie, monotone, downright sadistic doppelganger who still haunted his dreams and led him downstairs, coffee cup with at least half a bottle of honey dumped in in front of him and staring off into space, hoping for the night to end.
And then proceeding to fall asleep during the day, with the same “MWE PAPY, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE BOONDOGGLING, WAKE UP!” in response.
“Bone-doggling Blue?”
“NOT BAD, PAPY! BUT YOU’RE NOT OUT OF TROUBLE YET! YOU’RE STILL LAZY!”
A part of him missed the redundancy of his own universe. Back in his own universe, they’d just made it to the surface and Chara promised no more resets. Everyone lived, and… well, things could have been better with the human government and people, but at least he and Sans (Blue, but he hated the thought of Sans being called anything other than Sans, though Blue had taken to his name like a fish to water) could see the surface so he couldn’t complain. Still, Stretch supposed the surface was equally as beautiful here. Reflecting on his universe caused him to sink further into the couch and begin to relax, when–
“COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR PEAS YOU LITTLE BRAT!”
“NO!”
“YES!”
“NO!”
“YES!”
“NOOO!”
This new era of terror came with that little pinkette named Anya.
She rushed away from the breakfast table followed closely by Edge, who loomed over her with a scowl, a bowl and feeding spoon in hand. Sparing a second to look back, Anya yelped as Edge lunged to close the distance between them, ducking, pivoting suddenly and making her escape to a side. Edge yelled in anguish as he reached out to grab her and the prickly little thing ducked, running left.
Deciding to piss him off more, he allowed a quiet snicker, remained lounged on the coach facing the tv. “Sneaky little thing, isn’t she,” Stretch chuckled, idly scrolling through channels before finding one that just barely caught his attention.
“MAYBE IF YOU DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT THIS MESS WOULD BE OVER A LOT FASTER!”
Stretch shrugged at this. “It would, but today’s your day Edge. Tomorrow’s Red, and I’m the day after.”
This was in reference to a system that Papyrus came up with to share responsibility of Anya: each day of the week, a new skeleton would take care of the child and they would leave her with a sitter one day of the week when they had a break, collectively agreeing to make that day Sunday. Sans got his done with on Monday, Papyrus took Tuesday, Edge Wednesday, Red Thursday, Stretch Friday, and Blue Saturday (he was one of the only two patient enough to deal with a kid on the weekend) and they dropped her off at a daycare for the day on Sunday, though Papyrus and Blue (and Edge as well, the tsundere skeleton subconsciously having a soft spot for the kid since she was the only one who would excitedly listen to his stories, though they all knew he would rather dust than admit to it) would pick her up early and spend time with her before bringing her back to the house.
He hid another snicker as Edge let out another yell in frustration, this time targeting his ire towards his brother. “RED, GYFTMAS IS HERE EARLY, YOU GET THE DISHONOR OF LOOKING AFTER THE BRAT!”
Edge stomped away towards the direction of the kitchen, Stretch catching “PATHETIC TINY HUMAN… THE AUDACITY…” before the kitchen door slammed shut. Ah, he was always fun to see pissed off. The thought that he was just another version of himself made him chuckle more than he cared to admit. This edgy child snatching asshole.
He heard the snicker before he saw the culprit.
“You can come out from behind the lamp, kid.” Stretch was amused at his own reference, remembering the ‘rock’ and ‘lamp’ conversation he had with his own brother when Chara hid nonchalantly behind the lamp underground. It got him every time.
Anya peeked out from behind the lamp, taking a quick glance around before making a dash to her room, quiet ‘hehehehe’s’ heard as Stretch held back another snort. Sneaky kid. Just two weeks in and she had everyone in the household on their toes.
Barely 10 seconds later, Red made his appearance with Sans in tow, both looking absolutely drained from working with the machine. Stretch was supposed to be there, but called out early with the excuse of helping Edge watch the kid, Sans and Red nodding along, knowing Edge’s general distaste towards children (monster children just barely cut into Edge’s tolerance level, but human children were a definitive “NO!”). Well, Sans nodding along for that reason, Red couldn’t have cared less about how Edge treated the kid, him just finding her amusing to pick on.
Though Stretch had to admit to himself that “helping Edge watch the kid” became “watch Edge with the kid and make snarky remarks in the background.”
Sans raised a bonebrow. “What’s this about helping Edge with the kid?”
“Kid’s alive, ain’t she?” Stretch retorted easily. He held in another cackle at Sans’s entirely unamused expression. Classic was just too fun to mess with. Especially when he couldn’t exactly disagree.
“No kid-ding” Sans deadpanned, grabbing a bottle of ketchup and warping to the couch across from him, chugging it with Red following close by with his own container of mustard.
The day was calm for just a minute, Sans finishing the last of his ketchup and Red in the middle of a chug of mustard when this time, Blue called from upstairs. “ANYA, EDGE’S KNIFE IS NOT A PLAYTOY,” Red choking on his mustard and Edge storming out of the kitchen. “There’s something wrong with this kid, I tell ya” was the last thing Stretch heard from Red before warping to Edge’s room and seeing Sans do the same.