Midsummer Shadow

by MaliceMargot

Summary:

Tyler fights most of his demons through music, shouts it out of his system at the top of his lungs, but this, this he can't share, but thankfully, he can indulge.

Notes:

I swear I tried my best to write this in the most respectful way I could, but my mind, man, my mind is a sewer. It could be a lot worse though, I made some compromises here and there to make it more palatable.
Other than that it's the same as always: Please mind the tags, make sure to read all of them. English is not my first language, I'm dyslexic, and no one wanted to Beta read this for me (understandable), so, this is no master piece lol
With all that being said, hope you enjoy this little thing I made, I had a lot of fun writing it 🩷

"Going to the store," Jenna says from the door of his Home Studio, morning sun shining bright from behind her, turning her blond hair into a soft halo, which, of course, only serves to make Tyler feel guilty, even more guilty. "I'm taking the kids so you can work. Be right back," She winks and smiles before making her way back through the yard and into the house.

Tyler knows she will do just as she said, take the kids, go shopping, come back and, just like she expects, Tyler's going to stay and work on some songs with Josh. Except he won’t, he hopes he won’t. He could never live up to anyone's expectations anyway, as simple as they were. Tyler feels bad about it, a corrosive feeling brews in his stomach, foul and self-made; he's full of regret, yes, but also full of anticipation .

It's possible that nothing will happen, possible that, against his own desires, they're going to sit their asses and work on this record, but that's never what he wants from their time alone, nor what he needs. Times these so few and far between, especially now that Tyler is a father, times that he looks forward to desperately, pathetically, like a starving dog. Distance really makes the heart grow fonder, even though it shouldn't, even though it really, really shouldn't.

It's not like he isn't ashamed, not like he doesn't feel guilty, because he does, very much so. He's cheating on his wife with his best friend, his daughters' precious Uncle Josh, and the worst part is that he enjoys it, he craves it; the secrecy, the lying, the sheer wrongness of his actions. He's devoted and a liar, fractured, light and dark. Somewhere in the back of his head, he can make the connections — his religion, his ideals, the repression and the forbidden, the not-so-heavenly inclinations he fights so much to suppress. Tyler fights most of his demons through music, shouts it out of his system at the top of his lungs, but this , this he can't share, but thankfully, he can indulge . 

A bone-deep starving, capital sin; lust.

Tyler's mind is racing, he tries to focus on the song they are working on, but it's in vain, he can't stop checking, looking. The door is closed, the windows are closed, no one is around, but he checks again, just to be sure. It's been a few minutes already, maybe five? Ten? Has Jenna gone out yet? He hopes so, he hopes she didn't forget anything at home, hopes there’s traffic, and hopes the lines at the store are long.

It feels like the waiting might just kill him, but he doesn't die.

Mercifully, Josh appears, midsummer shadow, like a starving vulture behind him, and Tyler celebrates internally, a ' finally ' he won't ever admit crossed his mind. "You're tense as a bow, man," He says, reaching over and turning a dial on the mixing console in front of Tyler all the way up, making the song go flat. "Thought you'd be used to it by now,"

Tyler pauses the now dissonant song. "Nothing to get used to," He answers, spinning his chair around but not facing Josh, looking anywhere but. He couldn't see this as routine, as normal, because it wasn't, it couldn't be, it was a self-destructive spiral Tyler got himself tangled up in, another one of many. He could never get used to that.

"Right..." Josh steps into Tyler's personal space, looking down at him. "Bet you didn't even think about it,"

It, it , this unnamed named thing between them, not sex, not fucking, only... it , and all Tyler ever does is think about it. "Maybe I did," He admits, getting a chuckle out of Josh, and he just has to look at his stupidly smug face. "Or maybe I didn't,"

"I think I know which one it is," Josh bends down and levels his face with Tyler's, hands pressing down on the armrests of the chair. "Your eyebags don't lie, dude. You need to chill if you wanna keep doing this,"

Tyler makes a face, but before he can say anything in return Josh claims his lips, quick, soft, and delicate, a dagger to his heart, a kiss especially designed to hurt him. They part, look at each other for a moment, and Tyler is consumed by a swell of unidentifiable emotions before Josh dips and kisses him again, with intentions Tyler thinks are very clear this time, so he shoves his emotions aside and kisses back, making these intentions his focus. And what a divine feeling that is, letting go, it makes his whole body shiver. He grabs the front of Josh's shirt, deepening the kiss and moaning at his own depraved actions, at the feeling of his friend's tongue slipping into his mouth; he could do this forever.

Josh breaks the kiss and smiles. "' Maybe I didn't ' my ass," He manhandles Tyler out of the chair and shoves it aside, so he can press Tyler against the Mixing Desk. "Can't get your head out of the gutter, can't stop thinking about it," He mouths at Tyler's ear.

“Shut up, man,” Tyler tries to sound convincing while Josh works on his neck, playing his role as a reluctant victim so the blow is lessened, so he can, hopefully, sleep tonight. But he can hear himself clearly, and he sounds nothing less than wrecked; he wonders what he must sound like to Josh, wonders if he likes this pitiful side of him.

Josh grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, still biting at his neck. “Don’t think you’d enjoy it as much if I didn’t talk,” He runs his hands up and down Tyler’s torso, cool fingers on fever-hot skin. “You get off on it, on knowing this is wrong,”

Josh is right, absolutely, deliciously right, and Tyler lets his head fall back, basking in his crime. He enjoys when Josh reminds him of his sins, enjoys it when his fingers find his nipples and tease, enjoys the hot curve of his friend digging into his hip, knowing he’s doing the exact same thing. “Fuck, Josh... ” Tyler whispers and lets his body relax, relying on Josh’s arms and the console under his ass to hold him up.

One of Josh’s hands travels to the front of Tyler’s sweatpants while he bends to mouth at Tyler’s nipples. “Yeah, but we gotta be quick,” He looks up, tongue out, licking a long wet stripe up Tyler’s right pec. “Don’t wanna get caught, right? Imagine someone walking in while I fuck you in the ass,” The comment is like an adrenaline shot straight into Tyler’s veins, he trashes around, heart beating rabbit quick, and Josh holds him in place, pins him down, rubbing their erections together. “What? Ashamed of what we’re doing?” He asks, amusement clear in his voice.

“Of fucking course, you idiot,” Tyler struggles again, but Josh grabs the front of his sweats again and pulls it down this time, shutting him right up.

A devilish twinkle blooms in Josh’s eyes when he sees Tyler’s member completely exposed, no underwear in sight. “I don’t really think you are,” He laughs, a little impressed, and grabs Tyler's dick. “I think you’re shameless,” His hands start to move at a leisurely pace, unbearably lethargic and slack, making Tyler moan in desperation, a wordless plea for him to speed up. “Lube’s at the same place?” He asks and licks his lips, hypnotized by the rhythm of his own hand, watching in fascination as the tip of Tyler’s cock appears and disappears out of his fist.

“No need,” Tyler chokes out, trying hard to concentrate. “Did it already, just get- just get on with it,”

Josh’s smile widens and he looks at his friend. “Did you really?” Tyler nods and this time is Josh who groans in pleasure, riding high on the implications. He presses his body on Tyler, impossibly close. “Fucked yourself while thinking of me?” He finally quickens the pace. “Couldn't bear the thought of being empty? Couldn’t wait?” More pressure, faster, and faster still. Tyler is in a frenzy of sensations, it’s hard to bear, to control his voice, to stop the rippling of the muscles on his stomach, he’s getting close.

It was all true, Josh is never wrong, not when it comes to Tyler, not when it comes to this. He couldn’t catch a wink of sleep last night just thinking of the possibility of being alone with Josh. It drove him crazy all throughout the night and into the early hours of the morning when he gave up and slipped into the shower to work himself open, imagining the things they could do, remembering the feel of his best friend inside him, and clinging to this deranged longing inside him, a longing for something only Josh and their secrecy laced affair could satiate.

“ Look at you,” Josh whispers, reverent, like he’s seeing something holy. He slows down his pace and smiles when Tyler groans out in frustration.

“Come on,” Tyler begs, but he knows it is in vain, Josh stops completely. “ Please ,” And that garners an almost growl out of Josh, who turns him over and shoves him down the Console. The buttons and sliders hurt Tyler's hands, but he doesn't dare move, not when Josh kneads and slaps his ass with such fervor. “ Shit... ”  And soon enough he becomes unable to when Josh’s fingers easily slip inside him.

“You really did it,” Josh curls his fingers, and Tyler keens. “Fuck, Ty, all wet and open for me,” Which Tyler responds with an incoherent jumble of words that Josh is too distracted to interpret, and Tyler is glad, glad that he can just go and say whatever depraved shit his mind conjures without it being examined too closely. “You’re a mess . It hasn’t even been that long yet,”

“Addicted,” Tyler lets out, shoving his hips backward, meeting the thrust of Josh’s fingers. “Your dick fucking ruined me,” He complains, feigning annoyance, and Josh just laughs and picks up the pace, pressing on Tyler’s shoulder, making him collapse and fall face-first into the Mixer. The discomfort of the dials digging into his flesh barely registers as Josh nails his prostate over and over again with practiced precision, making beautifully incoherent strings of thought drip out of Tyler’s mouth.

In the peripheries of his mind, Tyler registers Josh’s increasingly heavy breathing, his little sighs and groans, affected, desperate for it as much as Tyler. “Wish I could make you come just like this,” He says, and Tyler knew he could do it, wanted him to, to break him apart and put him back together with only his hands. “But we don’t have much time, do we?” He sounds as disappointed as Tyler feels when he stops his hands, pulling his fingers out with an obscene noise that makes Tyler’s chest heat up. “Gotta fill you up before they come back,” The comment sends a shock through his system, a wave of guilt and shame that goes straight to his cock, the feeling becoming a feedback loop — shame that turns to pleasure, and the shame of feeling pleasure becoming pleasure again. Tyler’s brain feels like it’s going to short-circuit with stimuli. He looks back, tries to anchor himself on Josh, but he sees his friend smiling at him, pumping his own dick with the same hand he used to finger him, rubbing the remnants of lube on himself. “You ready?” He lines himself with Tyler's ass.

“Just do it alrea-” Josh shoves himself all the way in, fucking the brattiness right out of Tyler. “You fucker , wait- Hold on-” He’s cut off again when Josh starts to move, pulling almost all the way out and shoving it back in, leaving no time for Tyler to adjust to the sudden intrusion. He grabs Tyler's shoulders, peels him off the Mixing Console, and sets him upright, a hand on his waist, another on his throat, Tyler's back flush with his chest, and fucks up into him ruthlessly, like his life depended on it.

It’s not even 10AM yet, and here they are, in this blindingly bright room flooded by the morning sun, in the perfect noise-canceling acoustic of the studio. Tyler can only imagine what they looked like from the outside, the absolutely mad image they’d make: His stupidly slack face, fucked dumb, the sweat running down his throat shining in the sun, his flush cock bouncing up and down on a precise, metronome-like tempo. Josh’s endless stamina, the perfect pistoning of his hips, his strong arms holding Tyler down, twisting and bending his bandmate as he liked, a flea under his thumb. It makes Tyler wish someone was there to witness their depravity, their pleasure-woven sin. And isn’t that a thought, an absolutely deranged and lustful little thought that makes Tyler's body shake, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Josh.

"Tell me," Josh demands, breathless.

“Was thinking back on what you said,'' Tyler wriggles under him, pushing his hips back. “Wish- Wish someone could see us right now,” He laughs and lets his head fall back, feeling manic, basking in the feeling of absolute shame spreading warm on his chest.

Josh scoffs. “You’re crazy,” And the fondness in his voice makes Tyler shiver. But the softness is soon gone as he picks up the pace, as his words get harsher. “Such a slut... Let them hear you then,” Josh shifts the angle of his thrusts, hitting Tyler's sweet spot head-on, making him sing.

Tyler feels shame, he feels grateful, he wants to stop this, and he wants to have this every single day of his life. It’s like his mind is slipping, like he doesn't know who or what he’s supposed to be, and when Josh reaches over to touch his neglected dick reality goes askew, the whole world starts pulsating in the rhythm of Josh’s hips and hands. “ Fuck... ” Tyler lets out, choppy, breathless. “Shit, Josh -” Stretched thin, a thread spun tight and ready to snap, unraveling. Tyler comes like an electric shock, a spotlight aimed directly at him on stage, the darkest parts of his psyche coming to the forefront of his mind, singing with him as he moans, deliriously, in pleasure. Josh squeezes his cock and stuffs him full, faster , harder , and everything is bright, so vibrant, it's like he whites out for a second. Thankfully, he comes back just in time to hear the strangled, vulnerable noise Josh lets out as he comes, and feel the surreal warmth of his spent flooding into him, the pulsating of his best friend’s cock, rhythmic, inside his body, heartbeats aligned.

“Fuck...” Josh sighs, resting his forehead on Tyler's still-clothed back. He pulls out, careful, and Tyler misses it immediately, a void where Josh used to be.

Tyler stays static, processing, his breathing coming in fast and short, but getting better by the second as the haze of the afterglow slowly lifts, like fog on cold autumn mornings. He looks down at himself, assessing the damage Josh had done; he’s sweaty, used up, and he can’t help but etch the image into his mind, store it for later. That’s until something else catches his eye. “Oh, come on !”

“What?” Josh appears by his side and looks too, seeing the Mixer dirty with Tyler's come. “Oh Shit... Sorry,” He scratches his neck and makes a very exaggerated apologetic face.

And just like that, everything is back to normal. Josh is his goofy, sweet self again like he didn’t just fuck his best friend like an animal, and Tyler is his annoyed, bratty self again too, like he didn’t just get fucked half to death. Like Tyler and Josh, best friends from a world-famous band, and not like two liars, cheaters, lovers .

“You’re going to clean this shit,” Tyler demands.

“No way, dude, you do it,”

“I’m going to clean myself! ” Tyler snaps, marching to the bathroom, thankful he thought of building one here with the studio, and closes the door behind him.

He walks to the sink, pauses, and looks at himself in the mirror. Tyler is not one to care much for looks, but he thinks, embarrassedly, that he looks beautiful, properly fucked-out. He smiles at his own image. Tyler feels raw, like his body has been turned inside out and that’s the way it’s actually supposed to be.

It’s humbling, Tyler thinks, being fucked and having another man’s come dripping out of his ass, it’s not at all an unwelcome feeling. He hates it, and he is ecstatic, he actually wishes it would stay inside him longer, and that gives him a most depraved idea; Josh would love it.

Maybe they could do it next time.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!
Really hope you enjoyed this cause I had a lot of writing it! I think this is the fic I wrote the fastest, like, ever.
Please, if you enjoyed it leave a comment! Hell! If you didn't leave a comment too, anything counts, really!