Dear Journal

by jkkillian

Summary:

Max stumbles upon a journal on the floor, but it has no name.

He doesn't mean to, but the first entry catches his eye. As he reads, he can't help but feel guilt and sorrow. He wishes he knew who this belongs to, but for now he keeps it with him, making sure it is safe and protected.

Little does he know; the owner is in a state of distress and anxiety over the lost journal. He wishes he himself felt safe and protected.

Notes:

Hello, this is my first work I'm posting, if you would rather read on Wattpad, it's also uploaded there, my name is the same (jkkillian)

I tried my best to complete this, I'm not sure how long this work will be, but I will try to do weekly updates. Thank you all for your support.

I suck at chapter names, so I will be naming chapters after songs, this one's Covet by Basement

Chapter 1: 0-Covet

Notes:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1AMADyXgIWayh5vXLZo2qF?si=9e51e50d410341c2

Youtube: https://youtu.be/GMqlmMDJxJQ?si=k0atP55d7BUglYS-

 

 

After the X-games, Bradley was sent to the hospital. Having suffered fatal injuries on top of a black eye and a broken tooth, it was a miracle he survived. The whole incident felt unreal, yet Max was ecstatic over the win he just pulled. Although, he couldn’t shake off the eerie feeling he got after watching the older boy be sent to the emergency room.

 

Once they found PJ, who was surprisingly safe after being launched into the air, Team 99 decided to go out for celebratory pizza. As they cheer and eat to their heart's content, Max still can’t shake off that weird feeling. He soon figures it’s just the adrenaline wearing off and pushes that feeling to the side.

 

“Tonight fellas,” Bobby starts as he holds his root beer float in the air. “We feast like kings!”

 

Max and PJ join Bobby clinking their floats together in the air. As they continue to celebrate, others in the diner join. Their small interaction is now turning into a social event. 

 

Later that night, PJ pulls Max up onto his shoulder. “Ladies and Gentlemen, may we acknowledge the one who made this win possible,” He voices, catching everyone's attention.

 

“Maximilian Goof my man!” Bobby joins in. “The Freshman who won the X-games!!” He starts making air horn noises pointing his fingers in the air. Max laughs, grateful to have friends like PJ and Bobby.

 

The party starts to get a little more wild as it moves to a house party. Max opts out of drinking, knowing he’ll regret it. As he dances and mingles with others, he gets tired of the interactions all together. He decides to call it a night making sure to let his friends know before he leaves.

 

Max takes the long way back to the dorms. He enjoys the wind against his face as he’s on his board. Now that the skater is alone with his thoughts, he replays the final moments of the X-games. Seeing Bradley get crippled in that way was not a sight he wished to see. Sure, he did some bad things, but in all honesty, the entire frat was responsible for the cheating.

 

He can’t change what happened now, but he feels like seeing Bradley now in hopes to settle what occurred between them. Max doesn’t like to hold grudges after all. With this in mind, he decides to go to the emergency room, stopping by the pharmacy to buy a get well soon card. ‘It’s the thought that counts, right?’ he thinks.

 

When he arrives, he notices the many people who are there. Some of them look like reporters, probably here after hearing what happened. Others are here because they themselves either need assistance or someone they know does.

 

His eyes land on a specific person. She’s a tall woman who almost looks like Bradley. Her hair is about shoulder length, and she wears small square glasses. Curious, he walks over to her. It seems to be that she is doing paperwork. He figures it’s because Bradley is hospitalized. Once he is near her, he starts to notice the similarity even more. In fact, he starts to believe that the two could be twins.

 

“Uhm, excuse me,” Max begins rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t prepare for a conversation, but he’s came this far anyways.

 

Before looking up she speaks. “I’m sorry, I’m not giving any statements, I already informed everyone to leave.” The way she carries herself is intimidating in itself. Max shakes off the feeling however. 

 

“Oh, I’m not a paparazzi,” the skater fumbles. The woman looks at him, then at his appearance. He continues, “Uh.. I’m actually here to see Bradley, is he allowed visitors?”

 

There’s a long silence between the two that the boy doesn’t like. When he’s about to say something else, she responds. “You’re the kid that won that competition.” When he nods, she lets out a tired sigh taking off her glasses. “My brother is still in critical condition. I can relay any message once he wakes up, however, I don’t know when that will be.”

 

“Well, can you just give him this card then, I don’t want to bother you anymore,” Max says, holding the card up. The sister looks at the card, then at him before grabbing it. “Thank you”

 

She sets the card on the counter and puts her glasses back on. “Of course, what is your name?” she questions. 

 

“Oh it’s Max. Max Goof”

 

“I’ll let him know it’s from you then, Max.” 

 

As she’s about to turn back to the paperwork, he asks one more thing. “Can I uh, get your name too, please” 

 

She hands him her business card. “Briar, Briar Uppercrust. Now if you excuse me, I have things to settle.” Briar pays no mind to Max anymore as she resumes the paperwork on the counter. Max whispering a small thank you decides to finally leave. The sister glances up at the boy again before looking around the room.

 

The paparazzi are finally being kicked out as Max tries to make his way out. Once he does, he looks up at the night sky. It sure has been a long day. He hops on his board, skating his way back to campus.

 

Unfortunately for him, his board hits something hard, prompting him to stumble off his board. The pierced boy curses before making his way back to his board. The source of what he almost fell face first onto the ground is a hardcover book. Max picks up the book not noticing anything out of the ordinary with it.

 

As he skates towards his dorm again, he opens the book, looking for the name of the owner. To his dismay, the book doesn’t have a name. He was going to close it, but his eyes caught onto the words of the first page.

 

‘Dear… Journal,

I don't think mother loves me. She won't even look at me. Whenever I tell her about my day, she just dismisses me, like one of her servants. I’m not quite sure what I’ve done, but it must have been bad. 

I really miss mother. I would draw her pictures and she'd take them. Now she doesn't even glance at them. Maybe she thinks I'm too old for that.

She never smiles at me either.. I've seen mother smile before. She smiles whenever she's with my sisters, or when brother does something great. I want mother to smile at me too, so I'll just work harder to make her proud. I just know I can. If I do something that deserves praise, maybe mother will love me again. I don't want to be a huge burden on her. That is why I cannot fail. I fear if I fail, mother will convince father to kick me out. I don't know where else I could go if that happens…

I also worry mother thinks I have a disease. I know it’s stupid but I swear I'm perfectly healthy. If I can't make her proud of me, maybe I do have something wrong with me. I just wish to know so I can get better. I don't want mother to hate me’

 

The date on the entry read ‘09/16/1985.’

 

Max realizes this journal holds 15 years of someone's thoughts, yet the owner is a mystery…

Notes:

Guys I forgot to mention that I made a lore video of this on my tiktok.
https://www.tiktok.com/@decalcomania.k/video/7380283862796029227?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7378626526046127658

Chapter 2: 1-Winter

Notes:

Hello, this chapter is coming early because I'll be busy Saturday!

This chapter's name is Winter by SE SO NEON

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4YVA21Db1AbASkjpXRhykz?si=3674b89c6f084460

Youtube: https://youtu.be/BKGkwFn0FLk?si=BRmwAD_D4HfBKAqW

 

 

‘What do I do?’ Max ponders, walking up to his dorm room. He holds the journal close to his chest as he walks into his shared dorm. Luckily for the soft black haired man, his friends haven't made it back to their shared room yet.

 

 He decides to set the journal in his desk for now to take a shower.

 

When he comes out of the shower, drying off his hair with the towel on his way back to his room. Bobby and PJ are still not back. Max’s curiosity is still high as he looks at his desk. He shouldn’t read it, he knows, but the first entry in the journal made his stomach turn. He wants to know the person’s story, and maybe if he reads it, surely a name will pop up. And if he figures out who the owner is, he can return it. What would Max do after that, he has no clue, but he’ll figure it out eventually.

 

He picks up the journal from out his desk and sits on his bed. At first, he only stares at the book. Then he opens it to the first page again, glossing over the content one last time. With a deep exhale, Max turns the page. He lays his dark brown eyes on the date that is etched on the corner of the page.

 

‘09/24/1985.’ A week after the first entry.

 

‘Dear Journal,

There is a new project for my class. It’s about someone we look up to in our family. The task is to ask them a few questions and then make a board with the information. I was going to do father, but he’s on a business trip with mother. That also means I can’t do mother. When I asked brother if I could make the project about him, all he did was laugh at me. After that he told me that he’s too busy to deal with me at the moment. I understand he’s busy with his own school work, but it still hurt. I was too afraid to ask one of my sisters after.

I’m not sure if my sister heard my conversation with our brother or not, but she came to me saying she wouldn’t mind helping me with the project. I’m so glad she came to me. I was able to get all the information I need for the project. She also took me to get ice cream with her allowance money. I told her that she didn’t need to, but she insisted.

… I’m really grateful for her. It seems like she’s the only one that pays attention to me. I’m glad that I’m going to do my project about her at the very least. I just hope that it’s enough to give me a perfect grade. 

For some reason, everyone is distant. The only time we’re together is at the dining room, and events. Breakfast and Dinner are my favorite times, especially dinner time. It feels like we’re an actual family then. Father asks us what we did for the day and depending on the response, he nods in approval. Mother usually chimes in, complimenting my brother and sisters. She still doesn’t give me attention, but sometimes when she’s had too much to drink, she’ll tell me that I’m doing okay. 

Even when mother and father are gone, me and my sisters and brother still eat together. And when father can’t ask us what we did during the day, the oldest sister steps in to ask. I think she does it for me, so I don’t forget my manners. Usually when it’s my turn to speak, both sisters tell me that I’m doing good or to get up the good work. Brother just rolls his eyes telling me that I should work harder.

I think brother is right so from now on I’ll work extra hard.’

 

Max tries to imagine what this family looks like. It’s hard since he’s never had a mother or siblings, just an overbearing father. He has a thought about calling his dad, so he isn’t worried, however. He chooses to call tomorrow. 

 

He continues to read until his eyes are too heavy to keep open. What he has read so far is mainly about the kids' family time. He also finds out that the owner is a boy, thanks to a little snippet where he wrote, ‘I need to be a strong independent man like father and brother.’ The boy continues to also write about his wish to have his mother’s attention.

 

Max admits that he connects with the little boy. He’s always wanted the attention of his mother, whoever she may have been. Unfortunately for the child in Max, she was never talked about, never seen.

 

He notes that whoever this boy is, he’s good at not slipping up on names. He puts the book back in the drawer on his desk and turns off the light. Since PJ and Bobby still haven’t made their way back, and they haven’t called or texted him, he falls into slumber.

 

—

 

It is early in the morning and Bradley finally wakes up. He stares at the hospital ceiling, listening to the many machines beep around him. He winces squeezing his eyes shut feeling his whole body in pain and a migraine starts to develop.

 

“I’m glad to see you awake,” A woman's voice echoes in the room. The voice is soft and comforting, it fills the aching man with relief. “Now that you’re up, we’ll be transferring you to a better hospital.”

 

A tear starts to prick at the man’s blue eyes. “Thank you,” he manages to choke out, sounding like a broken whisper.

 

The woman makes her way to Bradley and moves the strands of hair off his forehead. “I’m always here for you, Braddles.” Hearing his sister use the nickname she gave him makes him laugh out a painful breath.

 

“Who else knows Briar?” He finally lets out looking at his sister.

 

“Only Robin and Alina know. I convinced Robin to speak to the school to ensure dad doesn’t find out. Alina is making sure the news stays local to almost nonexistent.” Hearing her mention their older siblings' names brings a groan out of Bradley. 

 

The brunet is glad that he has siblings willing to help him, but he knows that there will be a scolding from them both later on. “What would I do without you..” he admits. It makes Briar smile. 

 

“I did all the paperwork last night, it could be a quick recovery, thankfully. Just focus on feeling better now Braddles, then we can talk about your actions.” She adds, “Oh and someone came to give you this card, unfortunately for him, he won’t get to see you before you transfer to a different hospital.”

 

“Who?” He looks at the card once she gives it to him, but it’s blank, the only thing on it is the ‘Get Well Soon!’ printed on the inside with a few flowers. It’s odd, but it fills Bradley with warmth for a little bit.

 

“I believe his name was Max.”

 

 

Chapter 3: 2-Problematic

Notes:

My friend made a very good point that I should link the songs, so I'll be doing that from now on.

The song is Problematic by Get Scared.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2JUZbl8qGPfb7ot5UElsWx?si=8760354483014bbf

Youtube: https://youtu.be/xzq6Sf2_CiY?si=GpVQJFcisKHxPbIk

Bradley is being moved at the moment. His sister next to him as the paramedics drive to their next destination. He has another paramedic constantly checking on him to make sure he’s comfortable and faring well.

 

Over the immense pain he is feeling, the hurting man can’t stop thinking about what Briar announced a while ago. ‘I believe his name was Max.’ Why would Max of all people want to come see him? On top of that he went out of his way to buy him a cheap card.

 

His feelings cloud his mind. A mix of anger, regret, and embarrassment with a feeling he tries so hard to hide. Pushing the warm fuzzy feeling aside, he can’t wrap his head on a reasonable explanation. He decides to give up on thinking about Goof’s reasoning, so he doesn’t receive a bigger headache than he already has.  ‘Thinking about it will do no good anyways,’ Bradley tells himself.

 

All the brunet wants is to be in the comfort of his own room. He closes his eyes while listening to his sister talk to someone on the phone. He assumes it’s their older sister since she’s explaining that he’ll be doing physical therapy for at least 3 days a week, and possibly a few sessions of counseling while he’s admitted.

 

‘Therapy won’t help me,’ Bradley muses the idea. It never worked for him in 3rd grade for his anger, he doubts it would help him now, especially for only a few weeks. Of course, he wonders if it would have worked if his father wasn’t the one to poison his mind, calling therapy something only piss babies need. His father always insisted that sports is the correct way to let off steam, to which it does for Bradley. But the poor guy could only handle too much until sports made him feel more pressure. He believes that’s the reason why he was so desperate to win the X-games, the pressure. He makes a mental note to write about this once he receives his journal.

 

‘RIght, my journal...’ Bradley hasn’t used his journal in so long that it feels foreign when he thinks about it. Although he carries it with him everywhere, only for the sense of security. If his father knew he owned a journal, the insults would just pile up. Shaking off the thoughts of his nagging father, he doesn’t worry too much since he knows it’s in good hands with Briar. She respects personal privacy; she wouldn’t snoop through his belongings. He figures once he’s able to lift an arm without feeling pain, she’ll give him all his belongings then. There’s no need to ask for it now and cause suspicion.

 

Max on the other hand, just wakes up. He looks for the time on the clock and sighs when it only reads 11:44 am. In the middle of the night, his friends finally decided to show up, waking him. It took him about 30 minutes to put the two to bed, deciding they can share Bobby’s bed. It took him about 30 minutes to soon fall back asleep. He tries to yawn the sleepiness away as he sits up on the edge of his bed.

 

He gets up and puts on his usual clothing and grabs his skateboard. There’s nothing for him to do since it’s Saturday, but he doesn’t feel like staying in the small dorms with a hungover Bobby and PJ. The vitiligo guy sets his free hand on the doorknob, yet he stops and looks back to his desk. He figures if he runs into someone who notices the journal, he could give it back. Max makes his way to the desk and pulls it out, then leaves.

 

He skates around campus for a bit before his eyes catch sight of a familiar frat house. The Gamma Mu Mu Fraternity.. He chooses not to stick in the area for too long. He may have patched things up with Tank and the others, but it still feels like salt on an open wound. It wasn’t just Bradley that decided to cheat once again.

 

Max starts to reflect on what happened last night; he went to go see Bradley and was met with his sister instead. Meeting her still surprises him now, unlike Bradley, she was kind and carried herself with poise, he was just the latter. Although Max has only known Bradley for being stuck up and snobby, he does think that maybe he can be kind, just like his sister.

 

The skater decides to go to the skate park and spends most of his time there. Many people come and go. Some compliment him on his tricks while others congratulate him on his win before they skate around and leave. 

 

He would often leave the park to get something to eat or drink or to meet up with his friends. This time he chooses to do both. He meets up with Bobby and PJ at Bean Scene. PJ also invites his girlfriend, Mocha. It’s not a big deal for the other two, they’re glad he found someone who loves all of him.

 

Just when Max is about to leave back to the skate park, PJ asks, “Hey Max, where did that book even come from, you’ve been carrying it all day.”

 

“Oh yeaaa, you’re right, tell us Maxman!” Bobby chimes in.

 

He doesn’t want the boys to get all nosey, so he ends up lying, “Oh this, it's just… a log for one of my classes! Something about keeping track of our water intake, y’know.” Luckily for him, they believe him enough not to ask any more questions. He says his goodbyes again, letting them know he’ll see his friends tonight and he makes his way back to the skate park.

 

Max finally gets tired of practicing a few challenging tricks. He sits against a tree that’s pretty far from people that are still around. As the wind runs through his hair, he opens the journal up to the last page he left on. He’s aware that this is an invasion of privacy. However, the more he reads, the more he wants to reach the last entry.

 

He determines that the boy who writes these is now in his teen years based on the date and how he writes less about his family. The date he starts off on is ‘4/07/1990.’ He has already gotten through 5 years, yet there’s still much more to read. With a breath, he begins reading. 

 

‘Dear Journal,

I fear I might have fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t.’

Notes:

Hey! Just wanted to let y'all know that I am extremely grateful for all the support

Chapter 4: 3-Clusterhug

Notes:

Song- Clusterhug by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/65yrKuYdBYsMA1ItIngmjc?si=e99b017e72e04400

Youtube: https://youtu.be/BH48aquxExc?si=-q8uk8QAI5OrbWU8

 

I wanted to thank everyone for your guys' support. I know the word counts are rather short, but you all are liking what I'm writing. I never would've expected this to be honest. As I write and receive comments, I feel as if my writing is decreasing when seeing such wonderful compliments. Don't worry, I plan on uploading every single word. And I might just start posting twice a week since I have over 5 chapters written.

 ‘4/07/1990.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I fear I might have fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t. We're not in the same class, but we are on the same sports team. I met him during tennis tryouts. He's.. really good at it, says it's his favorite sport. He actually helped me get better at my serves during our free time. I'm not really sure how people know why they fall I'm love but I can describe the guy.

He's a year older than me, but he treats me as an equal rather than an underclassman. He has dark brown eyes that almost look black, but if you look closely, you can easily notice the chocolate hint in his eyes. He also has a smile that can make and break a person. It's quite contagious too, I think he's made me smile more often with it. His voice is also soft and reassuring… Just thinking about it makes me feel weak.

I feel like a creep because whenever I sleep  I have dreams of him helping me practice. He gets close like usual, holding my hands and arms in a correct position that will help my form. But then when I look at him, it makes me think things and we…kiss. Thinking about us kissing makes me feel weird in the stomach. I end up waking up eventually but…

Fuck, this is embarrassing! I don't know if it is right to feel this way for another guy. I want to tell him, but I'm so scared. I don't want to ruin our friendship. What if he thinks I'm weird?

Maybe someday I can let him know about my feelings. For now I'm going to continue to hide them. I hope this isn't wrong because it feels so..right?’

 

Max coos reading this one. The unknown boy is probably gay, but he doesn’t know how to express it. He starts to reminisce about being young and in love, when he had the biggest crush on Roxanne. The reader can at least relate to the writer when he says he feels like a creep for having dreams about his crush.

 

He has a feeling that this won’t end well considering the dynamic between the family and the anonymous boy that he writes about. He continues to the next pages to read on.

 

In short, some of the pages are about the boy going crazy over his crush. Other pages are about how school was irritating him. There are about two pages that note the boy had taken personal lessons with his father to learn more about the business and how to be more professional. 

 

The last memo Max reads, the boy believes the guy he likes knows. The boy writes about freaking out and is afraid that their friendship will be over. “Oh you poor boy,” Max lets out softly. He looks up at the tree as he tries to put himself into the kid’s shoes. He doesn’t understand how someone could be put into that much responsibility and pressure at a young age. On top of it, the body is at a state of change and emotions get mixed together creating more stress. 

 

He decides to lift the journal up, already comfortable with his head craned up. As he begins, he notes that the date written is ‘04/26/1990.

 

‘Dear Journal,

I went over to his house today. We were practicing our techniques for tennis all day to be honest. We have a tournament coming up that’s why. But that’s not important right now!

Well… when we went to his room to study, (he also helps me with math) he held my hand… I didn’t know what to do so I pulled my hand away like an idiot. I tried not looking at him but he moved my face to meet his eyes. Oh god we stared at each other for so long before he fucking kissed me! HE. KISSED. ME?! He pulled back and we fell into such a long discomfortable silence.

I realized that I didn’t do anything so when he started to apologize I pulled him into another kiss. It was kind of awkward because I’ve never kissed anyone, but it felt so right. I couldn’t look him in the eyes after, but he was very firm when holding my hand. We decided to continue studying like that.

Later on when things calmed down, he told me that he had a feeling I liked him.. That’s embarrassing. But I’m glad he’s the one that brought it up. He said he likes me too, but everything has to be kept a secret. I’m not really sure why, but I don’t mind. Before I left, he kissed me again. His lips are so soft, I want to kiss him again. I think this means we’re together now… I’m really happy right now.’

 

Reading this entry gives Max a smile. This is the most positive page he has read so far. After all the false hopes of gaining his mother’s attention and the punishments the boy's father would give him because he let his anger get to him, he hopes that this happiness he found lasts for a while. He wants to read more but he notices the sun setting. Closing the book, he rises to his feet and leaves for his dorm.

 

—

 

All of Bradley’s siblings finally make their way to his hospital room. It’s late at night and his migraine finally disappears. He can make out his brother’s angry voice and Briar trying to reason with him outside the door. “At least it’s not father..” he mumbles to himself. He stares at the fluorescent lights when the oldest sister walks in. He can tell it’s her without looking by the way her heels click.

 

“I thought I told you to stay out of trouble,” her soft yet cold demeanor sends shivers down Bradley. She stands next to him, staring down at him. He can’t tell if he sees a glint of worry in her eyes or if she’s tired of him.

 

“I know,” he manages to choke out. He can’t look her in the eyes for too long. He turns his head to the opposite side of where she stands. She waits for him to continue. “I’m.. sorry, Alina.”

 

Alina sighs and sits in the chair next to his bed. She lets the silence consume them before she speaks up. “It wasn’t easy keeping the news to lay low, count yourself lucky that this is a small town.”

 

“Thank you.” Her presence suffocates Bradley, Although she also looks just like their father, she was gifted the physical traits of having the same eye and hair color as their mom. He can’t help but suck up the tears that threaten to escape. He tells himself he can’t cry, especially not in front of her.

 

Just then, the oldest barges in, the 3rd oldest following behind. The air began to shift. The oldest burning a hole at the youngest. Bradley has no choice but to look at him. The brother hates talking when the other person can’t look him in the eye. It also helps to keep the conversation from being a yelling session. 

 

“What the hell were you thinking Bradley?” The man interrogates. He stands tall, his eyes, the same color as their moms, challenging him to speak. 

 

“I..” he starts, trying to find the right words. “I wasn’t thinking.”

 

“You weren’t thinking?” He scoffs, “Do you understand that what you have done could have cost this family a lot more than a petty loss?” his eyes narrow, getting underneath Bradley’s skin.

 

“I understand- I was just under a lot of pressure,” he tries to explain, voice cracking. Nonetheless, whatever he says goes through one of the man's ears and out the other.

 

“Do you think that none of us aren’t going through a lot either?!” His voice raises just like the heart monitor.

 

“Robin, please keep your tone down, I’m sure he’s suffering just enough,” Alina steps in.

 

Robin moves back, grumbling at the fact that he’s at the hospital with his younger brother. Bradley really wishes he had his journal right now.

Notes:

I made another tiktok with more lore

https://www.tiktok.com/@decalcomania.k/video/7388277454063947038?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7378626526046127658

Give it a watch to stay in the loop!

Chapter 5: 4-Little Lion Man

Notes:

surprise episode! I felt a little grateful and wanted to upload another chapter before Saturday so here it is

Song- Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4B4vB3oB8csotplfoQcAd6?si=11ed5cbf1f2f4dbd

Youtube: https://youtu.be/X7bHe--mp1g?si=hcti4-jhI06x7iLo

 

 

 

Once things calm back down, Robin comes to sit in front of Bradley. He manages to sit himself up, albeit with the help from Briar. The sisters sit on either side of the youngest in the hospital bed. He looks down at his fingers, not ready to break the silence. He may be in major pain at the moment, but that doesn’t mean he can avoid this conversation.

 

He finally looks up at his brother. This prompts the oldest to begin. “You can’t expect us to be here for you every time you make a mistake.” His voice is stern yet mellow. “I convinced father to let you study here so you wouldn’t cause trouble, and yet you still managed.”

 

“I really am sorry, I wasn’t in my right mind,” he responds. He takes a sharp breath in, “I don’t deserve what any of you have done to help. From now on I will reflect on my actions.”

 

“You’re going to have to. The University only agreed to let you stay as long as you never partake in any official tournaments. Hell, they don’t even want you to participate in anything sports related on campus." When Robin confesses, Bradley feels as if a stake has pierced straight through his heart. He understands that his actions have consequences, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him any less.

 

Sports are a safe haven for Bradley. Ever since his father taught him sports are the best way to destress, he’s taken every opportunity to play as many as he can. He’s grown a better bond with playing sports than he has with his own family. Unfortunately, he still let his family name get the better of him, believing he has to be on top, no matter what. And now his safe haven turned into his biggest burden.

 

“That is fair, I promise I won’t cause any more trouble that would cause you to come back out here,” he finally lets out. All he wants is to fall asleep now.

 

“I’ll hold you to it, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to come save you another time.” His brother stands, fixing the cuffs of his shirt. “I must leave, I have an upcoming meeting that I already rescheduled twice.” He walks over to the door, looking over his shoulder. “I’m glad to see you alright, I hope you recover swiftly,” Robin discloses and disappears into the hall.

 

His brother may be livid at his mistakes, but it was still a good feeling to hear him care. He looks over at the next oldest, pushing aside old feelings of his mother’s neglect-ness.

 

“Yes, I’ll be leaving soon too,” Alina breaks the silence. She takes a look at him. “It really is a shame to see you like this. I’ll assume you’ll be better by the time my birthday comes around. You’ll surely be caught by father if you’re not.” There it is, the reason Bradley is always on his toes around her. She always has unreasonable expectations that he always seems to pass. It wasn’t just the color of her hair and eyes, Alina also has their mother’s personality and her snark-i-ness. If he could please his oldest sister, there was always a chance he could please his mother as well. That’s what the child in him believes at least.

 

It’s not long before the second oldest says her goodbyes and leaves. Briar is also getting ready to leave, however she is reluctant.

 

“I don’t mind staying,” she offers. She sets his things down next to him finally.

 

“I’m fine Briar, I’m at least able to move and ask the nurses for help now,” he reasons with her. Despite his reassuring tone, his expression starts to change when he finds his journal is not among his belongings.

 

The sister, noticing, places a hand on his shoulder. “What’s the matter Braddles?” She has concern in her eyes.

 

“I-it’s not there, my journal,” he confesses. He doesn’t care if she questions why he would need a journal. The one thing he’s always carried is now gone, its whereabouts a mystery.

 

“Did you have it with you during the games?” she asks, trying to calm him.

 

“Yes,” he chokes out, “I always have it with me.” 

 

The sister’s eyes share sorrow as she tries to comfort him. “I’m sorry. It must have fallen when you got hurt. I’m sure you’ll find it once you’re all better.”

 

Bradley nods, taking a deep breath. “I guess it’s all the more reason to get better sooner rather than later.”

 

After a while, he assures his sister that he will be fine and promises that he will call her if he needs anything. Briar finally leaves, giving him a look of concern before she does. Now with everyone gone, Bradley’s mind falls apart. Tears start to run down his cheeks. There’s so much he needs to do, but the only thing he can think about is getting better to find his journal. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if anyone was to find his most vulnerable memories.

 

He forces himself to lay back down, his head feels heavier than usual. He ends up crying silently until he falls into a deep slumber. Tonight, he has multiple nightmares, yet he can’t bring himself to wake up.

 

–

 

“Hey man, you sure that book is for water intake or whatever you called it?” Bobby asks, his curiosity hitting before the three of the boys fall asleep. 

 

“Yeah Max, you seem a little too attached to it,” PJ mentions. “You can let us know, we don’t judge.”

 

Max sighs, he knows his friends are good people, but he fears that he’d be hurting someone, if he let them know what the book really is. “It’s just a book. Can we please drop it?”

 

“Sure man, I mean it’s your privacy after all,” the orange hair yawns. His curiosity seems to drop instantly.

 

PJ on the other hand looks worried. “But if there’s something bothering you, let us know, we have your back.” 

 

“I will Peej, don’t worry,” Max gives him a lopsided smile. It’s enough to get the bigger guy off his chest. 

 

They all eventually lay down. Max settles on keeping the journal under his pillow tonight. He trusts his friends, and he’s glad to have their support, but he prefers to be safe than sorry. He refuses to accidently slip up and let the contents of the journal be known. That he promises himself before being the last of the three to sleep.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6: 5-Oh My Love

Notes:

Song- Oh My Love by John Lennon (Remastered 2010)

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0gDyuX5rdHulQTUyrIdSR1?si=8476c20c394a409e

Youtube: https://youtu.be/u3QZVdqUidw?si=NVabdNLN5f3AYLKT

 

 

It’s been four weeks since the incident. Bradley, being the stubborn man he is, does physical training 5 days a week. He is very adamant that he recovers quickly. When Briar calls him, he tells her that he is fine. It’s a white lie and she knows it, but she doesn’t want to overwhelm her little brother more than he already is.

 

“Y’know Bradley, you’re lucky to be athletic,” the doctor starts. Every week his doctor talks to him about his progress. “Any normal body would take years to completely heal and regain this amount of strength, and you’ve done it in just barely a month, without taking a break at that.”

 

The brunet is finally able to move with little to no pain, however he still feels weaker than he has before. “Yes Dr. Coffman, I know I’m pretty capable. How much longer until I’ll be discharged?” He wasted no time to get to the point.

 

“You see Bradley, I suggest at least one more week, however-”

 

“I just need one more week?” He cuts the doctor off.

 

“Technically speaking, yes, however, you’ve been straining your body, it would be wise for you to take a week to rest instead.” Dr. Coffman places his concern. The patient has no patience for it.

 

“I can rest after I am discharged, besides I have the weekends to rest as well. If that’s all you may leave.” Dismissing the doctor, he shuts his eyes. Throughout the whole physical therapy, Bradley gave himself no chance to rest except for when he had to eat and sleep. He didn’t mind, he’s done more challenging workouts for sports with longer hours and even a whole 7 days instead of 5. 

 

It's hard for him to accept that his life possibly just crashed down on him. The part that’s messing with him the most is his missing journal. He refuses to believe that it’s actually gone, so he forces himself to believe that he left it at home. He knows that he didn’t, but it’s what keeps him going.

 

Max has been too busy to read too much of the journal. He’s read here and there, and even gotten through another year of the boy's life. The contents of the papers were mainly about his boyfriend and sports related stuff. He’d also go into detail about his brother and sisters, especially his favorite, but more or less the entries were about the sports he played and his boyfriend. There was once where the writer questioned if being gay was ok after hearing his father bash queer people so openly. Regardless the boy still loved the other, even with his head filled with struggling emotions. 

 

With Midterms coming to an end though, he plans on taking things easy. He heads back home finishing his last class of the day. He is greeted with silence, Bobby’s class ends later, and PJ is most likely with Mocha. The lonely boy flops on his bed with an exhausted sigh. He’s thinking about getting another piercing or two - his cheeks possibly - but considers getting them done another time.

 

He rolls out of bed and plays one of his cassettes that’s labeled ‘The greatest songs of all times!’ (It’s mainly Powerline) He peels his faded red shirt off, leaving him in a white t-shirt, then sits down on the floor, back pressing against his bed. His hand reaches over him to grab the gray journal.

 

Max remembers that he left off on the penmen (or to better name him, penboy) fighting with himself over his sexuality. When he finds the page, he rereads it. The date marked ‘06/13/1991.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

It's been a year and 2 months since we've been together. I want to start off by saying that I really love him, and I think I know he loves me the same. I'm also surprised that we were able to keep this secret from everyone for so long. 

My father said some really hurtful things about a couple that was passing by on our drive. He called them “nasty plaguing faggots” and “attention seeking twinks” He then went on a rant about how people like them are predators who want to have the feeling of a dick up their ass and that being gay is wrong in so many ways. He said boys are only gay because they've been molested by one, and that they’ll do the same to some other little boy. He also made is clear that “faggots are a fucking mistake known to mankind” It was so suffocating the whole car ride. 

I'm scared that father find out about my relationship. I don't want him to think I'm some mistake or a predator. I don't want my family to hate me and look at me like I'm dirty. I would absolutely prefer being ignored by mother than have her show disgust in me. I'll have nowhere to go if I'm kicked out. And I really don't want my boyfriend to be perceived in that kind of way. I have very conflicting feelings. I love a boy and that’s wrong.. but it feels if anything so right.

I want to talk to my boyfriend about this, but I'm scared it's going to change what we have going on. I don't want him to think I changed my mind about us. It's just so damn hard keeping this to myself. I know I should tell him. We’ve just never talked about this topic before. I don't even know how to start a conversation like this. I wish my father never said any of those things today, my head wouldn't be spinning like this and I could've just been happy with believing that maybe it is right for boys to like boys. But… now I know that it's unacceptable and I'm put in a difficult situation. It's funny I say that but my heart s till wants him..

I think I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.’

 

Max's heart lays heavy rereading the words. He can’t imagine his own father treating or talking so hostile about others the way the father in writing does. Goofy is nothing but supportive, and overwhelmingly loving. Max starts to ponder if he hasn’t appreciated his father enough.

 

Even when Max came out to Goofy. It was nothing but love and understanding. He still can’t believe his dad said, “Well I thought you always did with yer obsession over that guy.. What was his name again? Powerline?” It was a very embarrassing moment for poor junior Max, so much so that he wanted to dig his own grave and bury himself alive. Luckily, he survives, and cannot be prouder than ever.

 

So when he runs his fingers through his messy hair, he wishes he can reach out to the writer and hold him in a tight embrace. He wants to reassure him that there is nothing wrong with liking boys. Max wants the one who spilled their heart and possibly tears into these pages to know that he is loved and will find love. That his father is wrong, every single word that he spat out with malice is a lie, and is only poison for the ears.

 

Sighing, Max prepares to read about what happened during the boyfriend’s conversation that would occur the next day.

 

 

Chapter 7: 6-The Killing Moon

Notes:

Ok so I might be uploading on Thursdays and Saturdays more often, it makes sense to me that I post twice since I make the chapters short
I also wanted to make note that the angst in question is mainly Bradley's struggle with himself, especially in this chapter, you'll get a little feel of the angst

Song- The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0cOf4csnt4DeXSkFmBjULw?si=8068d7079edb480f

Youtube: https://youtu.be/QFZwuTOu9og?si=rgGh9rHJj5KgGBAJ

 

 

 

Max makes sure to read every date: 

 

‘06/14/1991’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I think I hurt him, like a lot. I didn’t mean to, I just… I don’t want to feel like this is wrong, and I can’t help but think that. He knows this because he feels the same way! It’s literally the reason our relationship is a secret. I think he’s just upset that I actually said it out loud. We’ve been ignoring this talk for so long too.

I started the conversation asking him if we’d ever be open about our relationship. He told me not unless I wanted to, but he wanted to tell his parents. I got scared and asked him not to. He wanted to know why but it was hard to tell him all the things my father said. He held my face but I couldn’t look him in the face, I was ashamed. Ashamed for confusing him, ashamed about the things my father said, ashamed about me. Of course I had to start crying at that moment and all he did was pull me into his arms. He was nothing but caring and all I did was tell him all the horrible things my father said. … Once I calmed down he asked me if that’s why I didn’t want him to tell his parents and I nodded.

He asked me what I thought of us and I told him that us being together was wrong.. He wanted me to explain but I couldn’t, I just repeated that it’s wrong. He gave me time to breathe before he asked if I wanted to break up. It didn’t help because I started to freak out. The last thing I wanted was to break up. I ended up begging him to stay with me, and all he said was that he wasn’t going to leave me as long as I wanted this too.

I knew I wanted this- I know I want him and his affection. I told him and all he said was “Then, we’ll just have to continue being secret lovers.” It was reassuring and I laughed at it. I told him I didn’t mind being in such an unacceptable relationship as long as it was with him and he smiled agreeing.

I still feel bad because I know he was hurt. He tried to save face for my sake. I want to do something for him to make up for today. There’s only so much I can do without raising suspicion though.’

 

He continues to read through another year of this secret affair and everything sprinkled in between. He frowns when the writer mentions his way of self-harm and smiles when he writes about his accomplishments.

 

This page dated ‘12/21/1992’ 

 

‘Dear Journal,

I think my sister knows- about me liking my boyfriend. When my birthday passed, my boyfriend gave me something I said I wanted but knew I was never going to get and it made me feel a little giddy. She was the only one that noticed and asked about the gift. I know I can trust her, but it scared me. I did end up telling her that I do like things like cassette tapes and the portable cassette player was a really nice thing to be given. She smiled and said that she’d take me to a music store to buy more tapes for me.

When we went to the music store, we kind of just bonded over music. I decided that a tape would be a good gift for my boyfriend for Christmas, it was small to hide after all. I don’t know why, but I asked my sister what kind of tape would be good to give someone. She told me it depends, but love songs are a great choice. I tried to explain that it wasn’t for anyone like that after a while of looking. She only said ok and continued to help me. I ended up making a mixtape of our favorite songs. I paid for it and a few more so it wasn’t questionable and she bought some for me and herself.

She’s always so .. knowing. It makes me want to tell her, but I’m afraid she’ll not want to be around me anymore. I told my boyfriend about it and he’s on board with telling her. He even offered to be there with me when he does in case she asks questions. I just can’t shake off the fear of her rejection. I might really hurt myself if she ends up treating me like I have a disease… It’ll be way more than just starving myself. 

…Then again, she’s the only one who would support me. Fuck it, I’m going to tell her, somehow, with him.’

 

Luckily the next date is after Christmas, ‘12/28/1992.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I went over to my boyfriend to “practice for tournaments” two days ago and we exchanged gifts when we went to “study.” He loved the mixtape I made and he gave me a Bauhaus shirt. (God I love Bauhaus) We talked and listened to the mixtape with my head on his shoulder.

I finally brought up that we should tell my sister about us and he was beyond happy. He told me that he was proud of me and that I've grown so much these past 3 years. Hearing him say that reassured me that maybe everything will work out.

I asked about how his parents would view us and he said that they were supportive, and would welcome me (He came out to his parents last year) But he did say that it wouldn’t be the best to tell them. His parents are very talkative, they might say something to my father and that would ruin everything. He always has to deny that he’s with me when his parents ask. They often ask me questions too, but I always tell them that he’s just my best friend and they eventually drop it. They understand that being openly gay is a struggle at least.

Well today was the day that I told my sister. She took me out and I asked if I could invite him. She said yes and it took me a while to tell her. He held my hand the whole time. I still can’t believe she said she knew, because she saw us in our library one night when everyone was asleep. Embarrassed, my boyfriend answered any questions she had like how long we’ve been together and how we knew we loved each other.

Earlier tonight she came and hugged me. I’m glad to have her as my sister.’

 

A smile tugs at the corner of Max’s lips. Knowing that there is one person who fully supports the penboy within his family brings him relief. The boy writes less within the next year, but the entries are only trivial matters. But the smile soon drops along with his heart after reading the date ‘12/ 03 04/1993’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I shouldn’t have been born. Everything is ruined… How could I have been so fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have kissed him in my room. I should’ve locked the damn door. I didn’t know he'd walk in, he never comes to my room! He hurt him and all I did was freeze, I couldn’t do anything. I watched him drag him out and throw him out. The whole day he insulted him, told everyone that I was being prayed on, that I lost my senses because I didn’t have anyone to help me out of it.

He’s making me transfer schools and told me that I’ll never see him again. He acted like he cared in front of everyone!!

He… called me tonight  to his study to “knock some sense into me” I couldn’t do anything and obey, so I went.-’

 

Max immediately slams the journal closed hearing the door open. His friends look at him with confusion and concern. He only looks at them with a ghastly expression after being too immersed in this bloodcurdling entry.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

If anyone would like to make art based on the way I describe Max and Bradley, please please please do. I suck at art and I just can't bring myself to draw them in a way I like. It's honestly mainly just Max that I have so many details for, Bradley is perfect the way he is. I should be making another video on new lore that would help with Max's design, I'll mention it again in the next chapter 🙏

Chapter 8: 7-The Boy Who Could Fly

Notes:

Song- The Boy Who Could Fly by Pierce The Veil

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/635K4hTo5J8d7q8qhfcTMH?si=900bf8d220e94b8b

Youtube: https://youtu.be/zpXxC-v4_J0?si=nO2TVVP9kHWP1BlR

 

 

 

There's a prolonged silence between the three friends. PJ eventually clears his throat, ushering Bobby into the room before shutting the door. Max already turns his head away from the two with the journal clenched between his hands. The air in the room is smothering him and all he wants to do is leave.

 

“Hey man, is everything uh good?” Bobby asks as he scratches the back of his head.

 

He turns off the music deciding that he should leave before his friends initiate an interrogation. “Yep. Everything is good. I just didn't um hear you guys coming in. Guess it scared me.” He stands up to put a clean oversized band shirt on. Still avoiding his friends' gazes he grabs his worn down Jansport backpack.

 

“Max, you seriously can’t be leaving right now,” PJ tries to reason his head slightly tilting. He does his best not to invade the overstimulated boy’s personal space, even when the dorm is tiny as it is.

 

He puts the journal in the backpack, along with a water bottle, his cassette player, some spare money, and other frivolous things. “Sorry Peej, I feel like going to the bowl right now,” is all he says, his mind only focused on leaving.

 

“Can you at least tell us what’s going on? Does it have to do with that book that you've been carrying around for a while?” PJ still persists in hopes that his friend will open up.

 

“Yea man, you really look like you wanna puke, cry, and shit yourself all at once,” Bobby also steps in, his tone a little less serious than PJ’s.

 

Max is grateful that his friends are looking out for him, except it only makes him feel cornered and that’s what he possibly hates the most. “Seriously guys, I’m fine. I just need some fresh air.” He squeezes past the two taller men, making sure to pick up his skateboard. Before they could say another word, the skater is out the door, rushing down the stairs to get outside.

 

The second his board hits the ground, Max cruises down the university roads. His breaths start to calm the more time the chilly air hits against his warm face. He feels bad for leaving like that, yet he can’t help but to run away when things get too much for him. He rather not burden others with his problems, and he absolutely can’t let others know about the contents in the journal.

 

When he gets to the skate park, he throws his bag down and almost immediately dips into the bowl. He always finds comfort at skate parks. It was where Goofy sat next to him after a huge fight and gave him his first skateboard, he was about eight at the time. In fact, he’s always been in love with skateboards. Before he was given the skateboard, he would sit in front of the chunky TV in the living-room watching ‘The Search for Animal Chin.’ It was his favorite film and would never get tired of it.

 

After spending the evening doing tricks and flips and reminiscing on his past, Max sits next to his abandoned backpack. He fishes for the water he packed and gulps down a good amount. He looks around to find the park deserted. He figures, after all it’s 8 o'clock at night, 9 at best. He takes out his cassette player and decides he wouldn’t need his headphones since no one is around. 

 

He leans back on his hands while he closes his eyes. He listens to the rhythm of the song that is currently on. He lets the moment consume him as he mentally prepares. Max knows that whoever wrote this has been enduring so much. Hell, having to kneel underneath hot water was a crazy punishment, but the way the writer wrote about it, it felt like it was nothing. But this entry is different from his usual punishments, and he knows it.

 

With a sigh, he takes the journal out of his bag. His hand caresses the front cover thinking about what he read earlier. Max understands that he can choose to ignore it, or better yet, stop reading the journal. Despite that, a part of him wants to read every single word that’s itched on this paper. He wants to endure the writer's pain he left behind as he wrote. 

 

But most of all, Max wants to be the one who understands the anonymous boy. He wants to give the penmen empathy; to hold him and to tell him everything will be ok. Max believes that for these reasons, he can’t simply stop reading the ink that has been placed inside the journal. And he absolutely cannot skip this page.

 

He takes a deep breath and opens the journal to the last page he left off on. Starting back from the start with the date, ‘12/ 03 04/1993.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I shouldn’t have been born. Everything is ruined… How could I have been so fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have kissed him in my room. I should’ve locked the damn door. I didn’t know he'd walk in, he never comes to my room! He hurt him and all I did was freeze, I couldn’t do anything. I watched him drag him out and throw him out. The whole day he insulted him, told everyone that I was being prayed on, that I lost my senses because I didn’t have anyone to help me out of it.

He’s making me transfer schools and told me that I’ll never see him again. He acted like he cared in front of everyone!!

He… called me tonight  to his study to “knock some sense into me” I couldn’t do anything and obey, so I went. When I arrived, I noticed the bottle of whiskey on his desk. He had his chair turned around so he could stare out the window. I was too scared to call out but he knew I was there, he turned around. I couldn’t look him in the eyes and I think that infuriated him more. I heard him stand up and throw his glass on the floor. He started talking, and walking over to me. I couldn’t say or do anything, I just froze.

He yelled, but not loud enough to wake anyone else. I was only able to look at him because he grabbed my face to look at him. It started as insults, then he hit me. And then.. He didn’t stop. He didn’t stop hitting or punching. He only stopped when I fell to the ground. But even that didn’t last long. He started to kick. He kicked and stomped on me. It felt like it wouldn’t stop until it finally did. He pulled my hair so I could look at him. He asked if I was a faggot… and I told him no. He left me there in pain and threatened to do it again if I wasn’t out of his study by the time he came back. The last thing I heard him say tonight was “consider this your gift” 

His insults still ring in my head. Or maybe it’s the pain. It hurts to move, to breathe and to keep my eyes open. I’m a disgrace, a disappointment, a fuck up... I’m a mistake. I shouldn’t have been born…’

 

Tear stains cover the page. 

 

 

 

Notes:

I mentioned making another video on new lore (in which it further details Max) so here it is!
https://www.tiktok.com/@decalcomania.k/video/7393439014239472926?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7378626526046127658

Chapter 9: 8-Devil Town

Notes:

This chapter is even shorter than usual, sorry!
Regardless, enjoy!

Song- Devil Town by Cavetown

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0vf2eBw2inhl8y61cYQMv2?si=041cd01999194289

Youtube: https://youtu.be/KvaxYUfGHnk?si=cWj9xJMa4rClcXYu

Tears escape Max’s eyes. He uses his free hand to wipe them away however. He can’t grasp at the fact that some people are possibly evil. ‘How hard is it to accept someone for who they are?” he voices out, although no one is there to answer. His mind travels back to what he read. He tries to imagine the fear in the boy's face when he got caught and his desperate pleas that he never got to let out. He imagines the boy forcing himself to believe in what is not true.

What bothers Max the most is what the boy heard from, who he knows, his fathers. “Consider this your gift,” the black haired repeated over and over. Those four words dig at his thoughts. ‘What day would prompt having a gift?’ Max’s brows furrow, until it dawns on him: A birthday. His birthday was the only logical reason he could think of.

His grip on the journal tightens, knuckles going white. He brings it to his chest, holding the memories for dear life. “I'm sorry,” he whispers to the journal, as if the owner would hear.

–

“You seriously don't have to come check on me, Briar,” Bradley says after eating the oranges his sister brought with her. “Besides, I'll be discharged by the end of this week.” He won't admit it, but it is a good feeling seeing her so often. It gets his mind off the missing journal but also, deep down, her visits make his heart swell. He isn't sure he deserves her love and support, yet he prays it doesn't end.

His sister only smiles, it's genuine yet slightly holds a melancholic state. “I know, but we hardly see each other anymore. I just.. want to be there for my little brother as he recovers.” There’s a comfortable stillness between them for a moment. It’s a calmness that Bradley can peacefully close his sorrowful blue eyes to. Briar gazes at his tired state before checking her watch. “It’s getting late,” she begins.

“Hm…” the younger lets out. Usually he urges his sister to leave before a certain time. However, tonight Bradley is too exhausted to even consider what she said. They eventually sit in silence moments longer.

It doesn’t take the older to realize he falls asleep, still she reckons staying a little while more. As she gets ready to leave, she notices the glower on Bradley’s sleeping face. She brushes loose strands of his hair to the side and frowns when he flinches in his sleep.

“It’s ok,” she whispers. Noticing his face relax slightly, she tries her best to lay him down without waking him. “You’re going to be ok Braddles.” She Kisses his forehead before leaving. Briar wishes he would open up to her, but that hasn’t happened after his 15th birthday. The only time he has opened up to her was when he came out to her.

It’s around 2 in the morning when Max walks into the dorm. He is grateful his best friends are asleep. Earlier he called to let them know he wouldn’t be back until later, and to not worry about him. He never told the two why, keeping the fact that he needed another breather after what he read to himself.

As gently as possible, he closes the door and sets his board down. He eventually makes his way to his bed and sets his bag down before removing his shirt. He contemplates changing out of his baggy shorts, yet decides against it, deeming it too much effort. He fishes out the journal from the bag before situating himself into a comfortable position on his bed.

He lays awake looking at the journal in his hands. He has so many thoughts running in his mind.
He holds the book close to his chest before closing his eyes. ‘I hope you have a happier future, whoever you are,’ Max vocalizes within his thoughts before falling asleep.

Chapter 10: 9-1979

Notes:

Song- 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3h5zik31hTTat9jmpCZZNC?si=237b0e80f5f0495a

Youtube: https://youtu.be/4aeETEoNfOg?si=KkX1hdYpJp0LnMGe

 

 

 

 

 

A week passes and Bradley is finally being discharged. To his surprise, he sees his siblings outside his hospital room. Robin is holding a pair of clothes while Alina is engrossed in whatever she is looking at on her phone. Briar is the first to notice him and smiles.

 

“Are you ready to leave?” she initiates the conversation, prompting the older two to look at their brother.

 

“Well of course he's not, he's wearing.. that,” Alina comments, gesturing to, what she would call rags, with her hands. Since Bradley doesn't have any clothes of his own, the hospital gave him clothes from their clothes donation. It’s an oversized black shirt with sweats that just barely fit. Normally, he would've argued that these clothes were unfit for a man like him to go outside in, but he is too exhausted to keep that facade at the moment. He looks down at himself and feels a pang in his heart. She is right, and he can't help but wonder if she's more disappointed than she already is.

 

“Don't worry, I brought some of my old clothes that should fit you,” Robin finally says, walking over to hand his brother the clothes. “Go ahead and get dressed, we're going out to eat.” He nods, knowing he should've said something, but too overstimulated to do so.

 

After a while he comes back out. He's dressed in a plain white shirt that pairs fair with a green, half buttoned jacket. For bottoms, he wears dark brown slacks, tying the whole thing together with simple white socks and black dress shoes. If there’s one thing to know about the Uppercrust family, it’s that they do know how to dress.

 

“Now he looks presentable,” Alina smiles. Bradley quietly sighs in relief at the approval of his older sister. “I looked around to see what would be good to eat, and I found a decent restaurant not too far from here,” she then adds.

 

They all enter in Robin’s car, a 1999 Cadillac Escalade in the color black onyx. The drive is about 20 minutes with a few questions Bradley would then answer. He can’t wrap his head over the fact that his family gave up time just to pick him up and spend time together. It hurts his head the more he thinks about it, causing him to shut his eyes.

 

He tries not to think too much about it, however, the only other thing he can think about is his journal. Now Bradley can’t stop thinking about both things and he attempts to push both thoughts away as it only pains him more. Briar places her hand on top of his gently, only to startle the younger man. His hand retracts and they look at each other for a while. With unspoken words, he manages to reassure her that he’s fine.

 

Moments after reaching their destination, The Gallery Oak, the party of four is seated and are left to decide on their starters and entrees. They all order some kind of delicate starter, yet Bradley only settles with marinated olives. Their entrees seem to match each one of their personalities as well: Robin orders chicken piccata while Ailina requests swai with basque piperade. Briar asks for something a little simpler, potato gnocchi. Bradley undergoes a feeling of un-deservingness in which he decides that he’s only hungry for a caesar salad.

 

After the waitress takes their orders, the oldest institutes a discussion. “I have to admit Bradley, you recovered expeditiously.” His attention is on his little brother. It makes him tense.

 

Nonetheless, Bradley responds, “Yes. I was determined to recoup sooner rather than later.” It is hard to look at the hazel eyed brother, but he persits, knowing he’ll get back handed remarks if not.

 

“I must say, you really took my words into consideration,” the second oldest contributes. “No one will suspect a thing during my birthday next month.” His attention moves to Alina and it’s hard for him to swallow.

 

“I didn’t want to disappoint anyone here anymore than I already have,” Bradley ends up admitting. Only his sister that looks like his mother could make the boy say that aloud.

 

“We are just relieved to see you finally out of the hospital,” Briar interjects finally. The others eventually agree and with that, the conversation dies, changing into more casual talking. Soon after their starters begin to arrive.

 

After their outing, Robin drives Bradley down to the university. He manages to convince the older to drop him off at the front of campus. They all say their goodbyes, filling Bradley in with important information and dates before they leave. The well dressed man turns to look at the campus, many thoughts flooding his brain. ‘Will everyone ignore me when I enter? Do I still have a place to stay in the Gamma frat house? Will Tank forgive me? What about Max and his friends? Wait, why am I thinking about him? None of this makes sense,’ his thoughts are loud and ring in his head. ‘I just need my journal.’

 

He takes a deep breath and steps foot onto campus, making his way straight to the frat house. It almost feels like he is running, his mind only now occupied on seeing his journal in his room, safe and sound. He ignores all the looks shot at him and soon he makes it to the place he resides in. The Gammas playing a match of volleyball on the side all notice him. Disregarding their comments and insults, he dashes straight into the house and into his room. Tank is the only one to follow, telling the others to continue the game.

 

Panic begins to rise in Bradley as he tears his room apart. “No no no no… where the hell is it?!” he cries out, hands reaching to grip fistfuls of his own hair. “If it’s not here then I lost it… and if I lost it someone could have it… If they find out it’s mine, I’m over!-” He hasn’t realized that he starts to hit his head until Tank stops him, holding his wrists.

“What’s going on with you Bradley?” the bigger man asks, genuinely concerned about the others behavior. He looks up at him, a surge of rage forming.

 

Pushing him away, he turns around. “Why does it matter to you?!” He bursts out, and after a sigh fills the air.

 

“Look Bradley, I might still be mad at you, but we’re still friends.” Tank reassures. “You were gone for some time and now you’re back, destroying your room, that isn’t like you baby.” When he doesn’t receive a response, he adds, “What are you looking for that has you so out of it?”

 

The smaller doesn’t answer. His mind is turning, despite both near death incidents, Tank still cares for Bradley and Bradley is glad to have Tank around still. He walks over to lean down against a wall with his hands running down his face. The other guy joins him.

 

“No one has come into your room since you’ve been gone,” He finally says after a moment of silence.

 

“I lost a.. book that I always keep with me,” he finally gives in. Tank knows what he’s talking about. He’s always seen the composed man occasionally write into it. He’s never cared to know what it was about though.

 

“Was it that important?” he puts forward.

 

“Of course it fucking was-” the brunet snaps before stopping himself. This isn’t Tanks fault, don’t be mad at him. “It.. was very personal, and now it’s gone.”

 

“I’m sorry Bradley,” is all Tank can say. 

 

“It’s.. whatever,” Bradley tries to convince. Tank knows it’s not, but doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he steps out, leaving the man to situate his room, and thoughts again. 

 

It takes the guy a while to finally fix his room back to the way he likes it. Deciding to take a warm bath after, Bradley lays in the tub filled with water and soap almost lifelessly, looking up at the light fixture. It hurts his eyes, but he gets used to it eventually.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

To be honest, I love Bradley's siblings. Maybe it's cause I created them but maybe y'all will understand why within time. I just wanted to let y'all know now, I guess like a fun fact lol. I can speak for everyone when I say Briar is #1 tho

Chapter 11: 10-Showbiz

Notes:

I don't know nothing about skating, but I did watch An Extremely Goofy Movie, and I used to play skate 1, 2, and/or 3 (a skate 4 is coming out?! Wish it came on switches) so I'm practically a pro. I watched that one scene about 15 thousand times to make sure I called the 2 stunts by the correct name. And since it seems no one has ever done that damn move (I gave up looking), I named it myself, hence inspiring this chapter's title.

Song: Showbiz by Muse

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2sCFFlnYg6Lk75GCcfSXEz?si=3b359ba351c34d4c

Youtube: https://youtu.be/HLa9eO3oNsw?si=LT2MQV9I3Pyq4XUd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max is currently taking notes for his sociology class. It's one class that he has with Bradley. So seeing him gone, especially for so long feels weird to the laid back man. It makes sense for the older to be missing after all, he was in the hospital the last time Max tried to see him. For all he knows, he could have been expelled after what happened. He writes down what the professor notes before concluding that Bradley probably has ways to keep himself from being expelled. ‘Hey, does that count as sociological thinking?’ the goof chuckles to himself.

 

After an excruciating hour-long lecture, He meets up with Bobby at their usual spot. It’s a secluded area within campus that has a good setup for Max to practice cool, dangerous stunts and his usual workouts. It’s also where Bobby goes to smoke, being the stoner he is, the ginger prefers to smoke alone, or with his friends. 

 

This time, both boys are rather excited for today's practice. The stoner recently received a camcorder, and he wants to record the skater’s progress. The young boy in Max is very much on board with this as he always wanted his own “skate film.” Upon arriving, Max sees Bobby hitting a blunt. It’s an inviting aroma when he walks over. He might not smoke like his friend does, but he enjoys the smell of weed nonetheless. 

 

“Max, my man!” his friend exclaims as soon as he is aware of the other, finger guns pointing at him.

 

“Hey dude, already getting into the mood?” the lightskin sits next to him, pulling out his cassette player.

 

“You know it,” he cackles before pulling out his camcorder. “Check it out. Ain’t it a beauty?” He marvels over the digital device.

 

“Yea, it’s pretty sick,” he agrees. He plays his “training playlist” tape and gets back up to stretch. “You ready to use it?”

 

“Hell yea dude!” and with that he starts to record Max’s intense workout. 

 

At first glance, no one would believe that Max does any kind of exercise. He always hides his body in oversized clothing for reasons unknown. What people don’t know is that this year's X-Games champion is a calisthenics trainee, self-taught. Before Max started his freshman year, he wanted to find a good workout that would help him balance better on his board. He would search one night to find out that calisthenics is “a form of strength training that utilizes an individual's body weight as resistance to perform multi-joint, compound movements with little or no equipment.” The next morning, the young Max would be up early to start beginner calisthenics workouts.

 

While Max is doing all types of crazy workouts, Bobby continues to record, hyping the guy up even more. “Woooo! Look at you go Maximilliaann!” he shouts, creating all types of noises.

 

Max chortles, as he finishes his last set. “I think I’m ready to show you some tricks,” he states, cracking his knuckles.

 

The cameraman stops recording momentarily. “Looking forward to it. Oh! You gotta do that one killer move from the X-Games,” he exclaims. “Have you named that move yet?”

 

“I haven’t thought of a name yet,” the skater answers as he reaches for his board. He had worked on that move for about two years, and the qualifying rounds felt like the right time to officially perfect it. Doing a mctwist to what everyone believed would be a one-handed stall, turned out to be an even more complex stunt, shocking everyone. 

 

“How ‘bout we call it the… ‘Milian special,” Bobby exclaims, using fast motion hand gestures.

 

“That’s too corny dude,” Max rejects shaking his head. Just when he hops on his board a name clicks in his head. “I think I’ll call it The Muse.”

 

“Aye man, that is a pretty sick name,” his friend accepts. “Now do your stunts man, I’m recording.”

 

With that, Max does a series of easy tricks, transitioning into more complex ones. Once he feels ready, he gives himself enough momentum to pull off ‘The Muse’ on the makeshift ramp. He lands, lifting his board onto its tip. He then slides the one hand up off the board creating a 90 degree angle. At the same time, he begins to lift his legs up straight into the air. He only holds the tail of his board. After about 6 seconds of holding still, Max bounces out of the position, coming down the ramp to a stop.

 

Both the boys cheer as Bobby stops recording to dap his friend up. “That was totaling fucking awesomee!” he hollers.

 

The vitiligo man laughs, a ‘ah-yuck’ over-taking. “Damn right it was. Let’s go show PJ.” 

 

They both pack their things and leave, Max only checking for the journal before they do.

 

Bradley finally decides to get out the tub after an hour or so passes. He gets dressed in his usual preppy clothes until he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looks the same, although slightly skinnier.

 

Deep eye bags consume his otherwise acne free face. When he tries to smile, his teeth are perfect, yet he knows which one is fake. His hair is nothing more than a damp mess on his head. 

 

He only stares at himself in disbelief, a lump forming in his throat. ‘I look so.. grim,’ Bradley tells himself. To other people, he may look the same, but to him, all he can see are the imperfections. He eventually pries his eyes off of his reflection, choosing to change into more laid-back clothing.

 

The not so perfect man sits on his bed up against the wall. He stares at the wall straight ahead. In front of it is a shelf that holds all his awards he’s received since his first year. Unknowingly, tears start to blur his vision. All Bradley can do is sit there, staring at those achievements, all while banging his head against the wall.

 

He only imagines that maybe he should’ve died that day.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

I know I went from stunts to a depressing Bradley, it kinda matches the song. I hope you guys enjoyed nonetheless

Chapter 12: 11-Bite The Bullet

Notes:

Song- Bite The Bullet by Mind's Eye

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0r0IrJulIk3j9ZY2LYmCLj?si=1a6ad0a5cb4945eb

Youtube: https://youtu.be/5nOKRfBKCzY?si=Ipfo2iM-KYUJ2BXx

 

 

 

 

Bradley stays in his room the rest of the week. He only leaves when all the other Gammas are out or asleep just to grab food he hardly ever eats. His mental state has only been plummeting, yet he doesn’t care. Tank tries to reason with him, but they still aren’t as close as they used to be so when the depressed man asks the hefty man to leave his room, he does with no argument. If they were on better terms, he would’ve forced Bradley out himself. 

 

This time however, Tank manages to convince Bradley to leave the frat house. The Gammas needed to do party shopping for the party they were throwing tonight, courtesy of it being a Friday. The former president only agrees because he could use a drink himself, and a new outfit. They decide that they will go to the drug store after the mall, so they don’t take too many unnecessary trips.

 

They miss Max coming out of the very drug store they walk past. He looks over, not noticing Bradley, who's practically in the back. ‘Must be getting ready for tonight's party,’ he thinks, going back to the journal in his hand as he walks.

 

After the entry where the penmen, who Max decides to call ‘Dustin’ (he found out it means brave warrior), shared horrid events that took place on his birthday, the boy hasn’t read since. Today he finally decides to open the journal up again. He takes into account that there are still six years to get through in the journal. The amount of times ‘Dustin’ writes has also become scarce. Max is around halfway through the year 1994, but the writer only used four pages.

 

What ‘Dustin’ writes on those pages were equally upsetting. One was about how his mother doesn’t exactly know what went on, and he only prays that she won’t find out. He expresses how his life might completely shatter and his will to live would no longer exist- just like him. He wrote that on New Year's Day.

 

Two of the entries were about the constant abuse his father did to him. It wasn’t anything compared to the beating he received, still, it was abuse. His father works him harder, watching his every move. If ‘Dustin’ makes even the slightest of mistakes, his father has him hold out his arm and he presses his lit cigar onto the flesh of his forearm. If something unfortunate happened to the father, he would force his son to drink with him as he constantly curses him out. No matter what it was his fault things didn’t work out. Sometimes it got a little physical, but only to wear it left a bruise, no blood.

 

The fourth entry, he writes that his life was pointless. He said he was going to kill himself. It was only 3 lines long. He wrote that on the 26th of April of ‘94.

 

Thankfully, ‘Dustin’ is still alive, because he continues to write on the next page. Max continues to read while treading along the road. The date ‘06/20/1994.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I’m sorry for being so fucking pathetic with my last remark. It just.. FUCK! I’m so stupid to think that being with him was ok. And for 3 years at that!

That day would’ve been our 4th year together and instead of being grateful, I almost killed myself?! It’s been 6 fucking months, why am I still thinking about him?! These thoughts are disgusting! I’m.. I’m disgusting.. 

I still think about him. I think about the way he talks, the way he held me, the way he serves in tennis, his eyes, his laughter, his smile, the way he kissed me.. I miss him.
This will be the last time I think about him. If I think about him anymore, I'll only continue to be a disgusting faggot.

I'm not a faggot, and I don't like boys. My father did what was best for me. I should be grateful that I had him to save me. Now I don’t have to worry about anything that’s not school or sports related.

Speaking of school, I.. I’m graduating next year. Thanks to all the work I’ve put in, I’ll be graduating early. I already have a college in mind, but I don’t know if my father would allow me to go. If I reason with him though, I’m sure he’ll allow it. I’ve always been good at doing what he wants and making sure to not disappoint him.

That incident… it might’ve made him get more tough on me, but it was for my good. I need to be a man, and I’ve shown him that I am. Surely he’ll let me go..’

 

Max only looks at the open page with so many emotions. ‘Dustin’ is going through so much pain, but he forces himself to believe it’s for the greater good. His eyebrows furrow, thinking to himself, ‘People are so cruel.’ 

 

He chooses to shut the book as he nears the dormitory he resides in. Putting the journal in his bag, he makes his way up to his room where he is greeted by his roommates who urge him to get ready for tonight's party.

 

“C’mon Bradley, you haven’t bought a single thing,” Tank groans. The Gammas are shopping for party supplies, while Bradley is supposed to be buying himself a better outfit. “I thought you said this would distract you.”

 

The disparate man looks away crossing his arms. “Why don’t you just leave then. I’m clearly holding you lot back, you don’t need me.”

 

Tank’s a good guy, but their relationship is still severed. “Whatever sweetheart, just come back before the party starts. Can’t be late to a Gamma event,” he says signaling the other gammas to start leaving.

 

Bradley watches them leave. He’s so insignificant to them, yet their brotherhood stays fairly strong, aside from the snarky comments that are thrown his way. The slightly composed man gets a few stares before he finally finds a clothing store to walk into. He wonders how many people know him from the X-Games incident.

 

Shaking the feeling off, he begins looking. He wants a new look, staying away from his sky-blue t-shirt under a magenta sweater and khaki pants fit. It’s a good fit, and Bradley takes pride in upholding that appearance. However, now he prefers to be less noticeable, while still standing out. He believes that a different look- with a different color palette- will help others see him in a different light, hopefully as a changed man.

 

He recalls the outfit his brother gave to him. ‘Green looks good on me, right?’ He finds a deep green knitted rib pullover golf polo shirt and ponders. He then grabs one in a smaller size than his, wanting a tight look. With great critique, he selects white, loose-fitting trousers. Once he pays for the clothing, he heads over to buy a pair of white and green Adidas Superstars.

 

Content with his purchases, he walks back to the frat house. Before he does, Bradley remembers to buy himself a personal bottle of rum. It might be cheap from the drug store, but it’s the most expensive.

 

He finally gets back to the frat house. Unlike usual, not a single gamma acknowledges him. Bradley realizes that it’s going to be hard to adjust from Gamma Mu Mu president to just another one of its members. Regardless, he treks up to his room and prepares for the long night that lies ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13: 12-Outside

Notes:

GUYS HOW DO I ADD IMAGES?! I FIGURED IT OUT NVM

Song- Outside by Calvin Harris

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7MmG8p0F9N3C4AXdK6o6Eb?si=3d6f7013e27f457b

Youtube: https://youtu.be/MjEYCUJuh-g?si=z3shq9sSEImcOkII

 

A/N: I MADE THESE SO YALL GET A FEEL OF WHAT MAXLEY IS WEARING. IT'S SO FUN TO MAKE, I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE FOR OTHER EPISODES

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max, PJ, and Bobby finally make their way to the frat house. It is about 10:42, so they’re just barely late, by 42 minutes of course. The moment the trio walks in, a good amount of their peers welcome them, expressing how they are so glad they showed up. They collectively go to grab a drink; Bobby pours himself the punch, PJ sticks to a hard seltzer, and Max chooses a beer. After a little while, they split up, leaving one another to their own endeavors.

 

Max chooses to lean against a wall near the stairs. It’s not too crowded for him, plus he can still grab the attention of others. He wears his old and faded, oversized Powerline t-shirt with baggy jorts. He pairs the outfit together with worn out converses. As the hip boy nods his head to the current song, he notices a very slim figure descending the stairs from the corner of his eyes. Curiously, he turns his head slightly for the figure to be revealed as Bradley.

 

He can’t help but to check the guy out. Bradley is aware of his stare and gives him a look of disgust, although he doesn’t mean to.

 

“Max,” the older begins. At first he hesitates, unknowing to what he wants to say. He then sighs, “I heard you tried to visit me?” His initiation at a conversation shocks the younger.

 

“Oh! Uh yea I did, I gave your sister the card,” Max eventually says. “Also, you look good. The colors are a nice change from what you usually wear.”

 

An unknowable rage builds inside of Bradley. “You didn’t even sign it. I don’t need whatever pity you’re trying to throw at me,” he lets out.

 

“It’s not pity, it’s called being a kind person,” he chuckles. “And I felt like you wouldn’t want the card if it was signed by the one who beat you at the-”

 

“Don’t,” the somewhat collected man interrupts, looking away. Physically, Bradley may seem perfectly fine, but the events from the X-Games are still an emotional and mental wound for him.

 

“Sorry. But seriously, you look good, glad to see you look like you again,” Max expresses with a soft, lopsided smile. It makes Bradley feel things, a warmth that’s also laced with unresolved anger.

 

The guy on the stairs pushes past him, muttering whatever. The other only watches him stride to the kitchen.

 

Two hours pass and Max makes his way outside for fresh air. He rests his arms on the porch railings and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t drink too much -just 2 beers and is currently sipping on the mystery punch- in spite of that, alcohol is still very new to him. He smiles against the cool spring air and looks at the moon.

 

“So now you’re following me?” a familiar voice breaking the silence outside. There is a delay in his response as he looks over his shoulder to reveal a drinking Bradley. “What? I just asked a question.” He’s slumped against the corner where the porch rails and the side of the wall meet.

 

Realizing he never responds, he replies, “Relax bud, I didn’t even know you were out here…” The buzzed boy examines Bradley. He notices the almost empty bottle of rum, yet the Older looks tipsy, at best. “Damn, how much have you been drinking?”

 

“A lot,” he admits almost too openly. “I have a high tolerance.”

 

“Must be nice, after this cup, I’m done.” He walks over and sits next to Bradley. “Can I sit here?”

 

“What’s the point in asking if you were going to sit anyways,” the brunet huffs. It makes Max laugh.

 

“Whoops.”

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“Because it’s a college party?”

 

“I meant sitting with me genius.”

 

It takes Max a while to think. His eyes narrow, finding the right words. “I don’t know, I guess you just seemed lonely, and I don’t mind lonely,” the skater answers.

 

Their conversation ceases for a while. Neither minds the silence either. Max hums the song that can be heard muffled through the walls. Bradley only chugs what's left in his bottle.

 

“I’m not lonely,” he says in a defeated tone.

 

Max leans on his shoulder. “That’s fine. This side of you is nice though.”

 

The tension rises between the two. It’s a tension that both the boys find solace in. Bradley decides to blame it on the alcohol. He eventually rests his head on top of Max’s.

 

“You’re infuriating,” Bradley confesses.

 

“I’ll take that as a complement, Brad,” Max replies.

 

“It’s Bradley..”

 

“Right, sorry.. Bradley”

 

After a while of comfortable silence, Max yawns, “I gotta get to bed.”

 

“Wish I could,” Bradley instinctively interjects.

 

“Why can’t you go to bed?” He moves off the older to stand and stretch, all while looking at him.

 

“Are you acting stupid or are you just an idiot?” He deadpans at the younger. Before he can reply, Bradley continues, “The party will surely go on for another two hours, at least.”

 

“Hm..” is all Max says. He offers his hand to the other regardless. Bradley only gives him a nasty look. “You can come sleep with me. We'll probably hate it in the morning but who cares right.” He gives the man a toothy smile, his intentions pure.

 

Bradley on the other hand, he can’t not think about other things. His mind races trying to determine if Max has other motives or if he really is just a kind kid. After a while he gives in feeling the alcohol kick in more. Reaching for the freshman’s hand as confirmation.

 

“I am only there to sleep,” the taller reassures, for himself.

 

“I know, don’t worry,” the raven haired chuckles.

 

They leave without telling anyone, only thinking about sleep. It’s a quiet walk for the most part. Max can’t help but wonder why the upperclassman is such a prick in the ass when tonight he’s seen a different side of him. He chooses not to ask, right now at least.

 

Arriving at the dorm, Max opens the door letting Bradley in. He looks around, slightly disgusted at the mess on the floor. As he looks around, the richer man starts to notice smaller details, like the posters of skateboarders or Powerline. He spots the wall that holds the three owners' memories. His face softens into a melancholy expression as he looks at the childhood that’s been frozen in time. 

 

“Oh yea.. That’s just us, being kids, y’know,” Max says, cleaning off his bed lazily. He notices the journal and stuffs it into his desk. Bradley is still focused on the wall that piques his interest. He walks over to stare at the wall with him.

 

“I don’t know,” Bradley reveals. He thinks to himself, ‘is this how people are supposed to interact with each other?’ His watercolor eyes trace over every detail in each picture.

 

“What?” Max looks up, breaking the others' weird moment he just had.

 

“It’s- it’s nothing, I’m tired,” he sighs while looking over to the bed. “Do you ever wash your sheets?”

 

“Hey, they’re clean!” With that, the bed’s owner jumps into bed. “Do you want to sleep by the wall?”

 

“Yes, actually.” Bradley makes his way to the bed but stops. “I can’t sleep in this,” he declares.

 

“Really?” When Max only receives an eyeroll, he groans. Getting back up, he moves to his dresser to give the pompous guy lounge wear. Luckily for him, most of his clothes are lounge accessible. “Here, this should fit.” He hands him an oversized t-shirt and baggy sweats.

 

“Surely you aren’t sleeping in that either,” he speaks in a matter of fact tone. The younger groans earning a scoff from Bradley. “Change into clothes that don’t reek like you were partying.”

 

“Sheesh, ok ‘mom,’” Max exaggerates, this time being the one to roll his eyes. 

 

The boys both end up changing, Max in a white tank top and shorts. He steals glances at Bradley and notices a few scars. He figures to bring it up another time as he is really tired.

 

The two of them lay down uncomfortably next to each other. Neither of them talk, one stares at the ceiling while the other has his eyes closed, humming a mellow tune. Eventually the hums fade and silence fills the room. Bradley looks at the now sleeping boy, looking over the details on his peaceful face. He questions why he agreed to come to Max’s dorm before facing the wall to fall asleep himself.

Notes:

I HAVE A LOT TO SAY SO PLEASE STAY TUNED.

SO.. I figured I'd make a spotify playlist with the titles cause like duh that makes sense. It's only on spotify so here you go!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3d8qXSq7vfasVPbOhBwt8d?si=c9723273f4524d7a

I added all my lore and stuff on docs so everyone can see. You can find everything here basically
Maxley Lore: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O-YfSvR1nJBAufnAxtw_U9_pKFshRkwAnHd9TiVXqIA/edit?usp=sharing

There's a separate one just for the Uppercrust family so here it is
The Uppercrusts: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hRhiC_u4qGq4zgYTUMm93smDYMV2PuFJeReCoF8oBO0/edit?usp=drive_link

I'm always coming up with more ideas for the lore so always check them, or my TikTok (Tiktok is going slower than usual)

another thing! I wanted to give people the chance to create an OC for this universe. If you're curious, here's the link of who I need!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YBQeuota_a6k1a4j8hF7cl7tPNupyeC7Lda4j4GqBLM/edit?usp=drive_link

I made it so where everyone can comment, so if you're interested in one role, comment there

Thank you to all, hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 14: 13-Riptide

Notes:

hope this doesn't disappoint !!

Song- Riptide by Vance Joy

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3JvrhDOgAt6p7K8mDyZwRd?si=a438e6fb64e3422b

Youtube: https://youtu.be/uJ_1HMAGb4k?si=ZJCCu3WABQvJAMH8

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morning rolls over, yet the boys are still asleep. As Bradley begins to gain consciousness again, he hears snickers and quiet laughter. Thick brows furrowing, he opens his eyes. He's met with the wall until he realizes the sound is coming behind him. Turning around, he finds out that he actually can't since there's a grip around him.

 

“Oh shit, he's awake!” a quiet shout announces.

 

“Quick act like nothing was happening,” a calmer voice says although a tad bit louder.

 

Bradley looks over his shoulder to notice the other dorm mates pretending to be busy. Bobby seems to be examining the poster that reads ‘cannabis’ all while stealing glances over. PJ actually picks up clothes off the floor, throwing them into a collective bin. When PJ and Bradley make eye contact, the bigger boy slightly nods.

 

Eventually the man laying down recalls the events of last night. Confusion soon dissipates into understanding, then to embarrassment. He finally shifts a little more to find the guy who is holding him. Max is still asleep and doesn't seem like he has any resolution of waking up.

 

That is until Bradley shoots up, pushing Max off his own bed. The sleepy man groans, sitting up. The other two stare, Bobby trying not to laugh.

 

“What the hell,” Max whines. He looks over at Bradley with a tired expression. The room falls into silence before he speaks up. “Oh my fucking god! So it wasn’t a dream?” 

 

At this point in time, the ginger breaks out into a fit of laughter, throwing himself onto his bed. PJ joins his friend in the laugh. Bradley feels his face get warm, yet he is unsure what to do in this current predicament. 

 

Max picks himself up and stretches his body. “So, what’s for breakfast?” the skater chuckles.

 

“That’s what your concern is on right now?” Bradley snaps. He straightens himself up to look at the two behind his friend. “And you two. What was all the snickering about earlier?” The half composed man points at both of them, demanding an answer. 

 

“Well, you seeeee,’ Bobby drags out with a devilish grin.

 

“You’re really going to tell him dude?” PJ interjects wanting to see how this will play out.

 

“Bro…” Max’s thoughts start to register. “Don’t tell me..” The skater is slowly putting two and two together.

 

“Oh yea brotha,” he nods, waving his camcorder up in the air. “Y’all looked so peaceful together!” The cool headed man cackles,  earning a pillow to be thrown. Surprisingly, Bradley is the one who throws the soft thing.

 

“Knock it off, and erase whatever footage you have,” he confronts, almost sounding desperate. Unfortunately for him, Bobby refuses and leaves with PJ for breakfast. Bradley’s gaze is stuck at the door. At a loss for words, he sits on the edge of the bed and runs a hand through his hair. 

 

Max simply gets ready for the day, paying no mind to the recent events. He feels a lingering stare and turns to face the fiery eyes. “Do you want a change of clothes? I don’t got fancy pants or shirts though,” he makes hand gestures when saying the next part.

 

“That-” Bradley sharply inhales trying to compose himself. “I need your friend to delete any footage of me.” He demands. Max only chuckles rubbing his nape. “I’m sick of your laugh, there's nothing funny.”

 

The chill guy holds his hands up as defense. “Woah there, don’t worry. Besides, Bobby ain’t the type to share things to others. He’s just gonna use it to get on my nerves.” 

 

Their bickering continues until Bradley gives in. It’s good for Max because he really doesn’t want to talk about why he’s asking to do something like this for the pompous frat boy. He does mentally prepare himself for a conversation about why Bradley was sleeping in the same bed with him, in their dorm, and it is a complicated explanation.

 

“This isn’t over,” Bradley comments. “This whole.. ordeal I mean.” He has one foot out the door, ready to leave.

 

“Y’know, when you’re not a stuck up.. bitch, you’re pretty cool to hang out with,” Max comes back with.

 

“Watch it, freshman.” With that, the older leaves, his pride never unwavering.

 

As the only one left in the dorm, he sighs laying on his bed. He’s glad he doesn’t have a hangover, yet he still is dreading today. Moreso, he doesn’t want to meet his friends, knowing the topic of the conversation will be about Bradley. Nothing happened, obviously, but seeing him cuddled up with the very man who almost killed him is not a sight many would consider. 

 

He pulls the journal out his desk, pushing the thought aside for another time. He somehow compares Bradley to ‘Dustin.’ He laughs at the thought, but at the same time, it couldn’t be so far-fetched. “I mean, I don’t know how many siblings he has, but Bradley being gay?” Max talks to himself, flipping to the last page he has read. “Nah... But.. What if..” He thinks about it more until he shifts his focus on the new date.

 

It’s marked ‘12/12/1994

 

‘Dear Journal,

It’s been a while, I know. Writing in this is pathetic though. I’ll be heading off to college next year and I still use this stupid fucking journal. Some son I am huh. I think I proved to my father that I have changed, I’m sure he’ll agree to pay my tuition at State University. I made sure the university has a perfect criminal justice and law program afterall. I might also double major, into  exercise physiology.. Most likely have a minor in philosophy too..

They also have amazing sports and competitions. It’s also quite far from this house. I know if I go there, I’ll be able to be free from this pressure. There’s no point being here when I have a mom who doesn’t love me.. and a father who… just wants the best for me. I’m sure I can convince him. I can prove to them that I’m a good son…

Fuck- I have to be the best. There’s so much at stake right now and if I make one wrong step, I could be done for. No I can’t think like that, I AM one of the bests. Being a part of this family proves it. No one can best me, I won’t allow it.’

 

After the short entry, Max’s mind won’t stop thinking of Bradley writing this. The way it is written now reminds the reader of Bradleys personality. Surely ‘Dustin’ couldn’t be Bradley. The same guy who’s ego was larger than his name, who also seems to be alone in solitary, can’t be the guy with anger, mother, and father issues, or thoughts of suicide, and trying to be the best he can be. The realization hits him hard.

 

This gray book of confessions and secrets, the very person he chose to call ‘Dustin’ can in fact be Bradley. The very person that caused him and his friends trouble could quite possibly have done all those actions not because he enjoyed it but because he felt like he had to. Max rubs his temple before running the same hand through his hair. It's a huge what if, but it's not impossible. The irony of it all is that if the journal belongs to that man, Max already held him, albeit sleeping.

 

He chuckles dryly, “I need to finish this before talking to the Uppercrust.” With a clear motive in mind, he reads the next page, or thinks of reading it.

Chapter 15: 14-I'm So Sick

Notes:

A/N: HI, I ALMOST FORGOT TO UPLOAD SORRY SORRY

Song- I'm So Sick by Flyleaf

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3v0ylYF51SKkgAi4PrfKTq?si=0b518f9d58974ae1

Youtube: https://youtu.be/iWIADZKU9dw?si=GAsPvD-QLX0dId-R

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before Max finishes the journal, he gathers his thoughts -and his backpack filled with snacks and drinks, as well as his trusty cassette player- and takes off on his skateboard to a creek. He knows that if he stays in the dorm, PJ and Bobby will soon come pack to tease him with questions. He plans to finish the rest of what’s written today, then he can ask Bradley if it belongs to him tomorrow. 

 

He’s not sure how the conversation will play out since Bradley is always stuck up. On the other hand, thanks to the skater's curiosity, he feels like he could reach a side the older hides from everyone. He can’t justify his actions after reading what has been written, but he can understand why at the very least.

 

Coming to a stop, Max kicks his board up, grabbing it with his hand. He takes a walk until he finds a quiet place away from wandering eyes. There’s a nice view of the creek and is spacious enough to where he can play his music just loud enough to fill in the silence around him. He takes a seat, leaning against a tree and takes his things out.

 

He huffs out with mixed emotions, holding the journal close. He’s grown fond of ‘Dustin’ and his story. Max acknowledges how someone like the writer has to have incredible strength and a greater resolve. He also recognizes that Bradley just happens to have those traits. He starts to read the journal, imagining Bradley writing. The date ‘05/19/1995.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

To dig this damn thing out makes me feel so worthless. I don’t need this, expressing feelings is something losers do. I’m not a loser! … and yet I just had to bring this out to write all my damn stresses on..

My sister’s birthday is tomorrow, talk about good timing. It’s always a huge deal when it comes to her birthday. But what should we expect, that’s typical for someone like her, she deserves such grandness. It’s going to be one of the biggest events thrown, like every year. Quite frankly it will be the first official event the family has thrown since New Years. She’s been really determined on making everything perfect and I can’t help but feel nervous.

Everyone is going to be asking me about college and where I’ll be going. Luckily my brother convinced our father to allow me to study at State university for Criminal Justice. What he doesn’t know is that I am going through with a double major in exercise physiology. I mean after years of sports, I can’t give up the chance of learning at least something I’m interested in. At least I know if being a lawyer fails, I can tell everyone I’m some kind of “doctor”. He does know I have a minor in philosophy, and he was not happy about it. I did argue that it would help me in Law school in which he begrudgingly agreed.

My sister is in charge of my graduation party after her birthday, in about two weeks. She already told me to be prepared, she’s turning it into a huge deal. That I know I can’t fuck up on. I can already hear the fake laughter of adults and them telling me to add them to my client list if I end up becoming a lawyer. Like I want to represent such filthy people. 

This brings up another issue, kinda. I.. have a fling? I mean he came onto me.. But all we do is makeout and.. touch each other.. It’s only been a thing for about 2 months, but I’ve been scared to write about it. His touch is so damn intoxicating and he’ll be there, at the graduation party. I’ve tried to end things before but he always convinces me for “one more sesh” I don’t need to be caught again. I’m not a fag, but it’s still humiliating, I mean who gets their pleasure from another man?! ..I wish I could remove him from the guest list, but that would raise suspicion.

I desperately need summer to start so I can move near the University. Thanks to connections, I already joined a Fraternity. The others look.. questionable, but it’s a nice change of scenery. They’re good people and are the best of the best when it comes to sports. They already agreed to make me the leader, my right hand man seemed kinda glad about that. He’s a big guy and he told me he’d rather have someone else deal with all the paperwork. I like him, I think he might be the first guy I can be friends with, no strings attached.

My fathers constantly on my ass, in front of the frat he told me to “not cause and blunder or else it’ll cost you” but I knew what he actually meant. He thinks I have some other ulterior motive for joining a frat. On our way back home he was absolutely clear about it. “If I find out you’re hoeing around or acting like some twink, you can say goodbye to your tuition.” The threat still scares me, does he know about the fling? No, I would’ve been taught another lesson if he did. Why does he still make such comments then? Why does he hold this grudge, I thought I proved to him I wasn’t gay. I need to get away, quick.’

 

“Yea.. this is 100 percent Bradley,” the reader utters to himself.  Any doubts Max had, has completely disappeared. He contemplates on the reactions the older could possibly surface, all of them being negative. There is one response he thinks about that could be neutral; Bradley thanks Max and asks him to never speak of it again. Knowing as much as Max does however, he knows for certain that their interaction won’t play out like that. Pushing aside the potential scenes, he goes back to reading.

 

–

 

Bradley makes his way back to the frat house, being welcomed to the smell of Denny’s that one of the members picked up. They all stare at him with shock, surprise, and confusion. No one has ever seen him look so unkempt with his hair a frizzy mess and clothes not even his. The lingering eyes make Bradley realize how unpresentable he looks.

 

“Hey baby, thought you turned in early last night, didn’t know you weren’t here,” Tank says, breaking the agonizing silence. 

 

“Uh-” Bradley starts dumbly. He’s never been so embarrassed in his life like today. Clearing his throat he continues, “Well yes, it was a tad bit loud here for me to rest.”

 

“And that’s our fault?” one of the brothers mutters. It causes Tank to elbow him and Bradley snaps his head towards him.

 

‘No, don’t say anything malicious,’ he convinces himself, huffing out. “You see, I never implied that it was anyone's fault. I know how parties work and I was tired, so I left. Simple enough?” He doesn't mean to, yet his voice is laced with attitude. He even rolls his eyes out of habit.

 

“Yea right,” the guy scoffs and gets up. “He brushes past Bradley harshly muttering ‘you think you’re such a prince still’ before leaving. It makes him tense, his blood boiling before keenly breathing in to calm himself.

 

“Sorry, didn’t know some of you were in a bad mood,” he breathes out. “I’ll be in my room so I don’t ruin the mood more.” Bradley makes his way up to his room, dodging Tank. He realizes that his words sound so defeated which makes him feel so small.

 

The young man plops onto his bed after locking his door and only stares at the wall. “God, I’m so pathetic..” he admits to only himself. If he could have a wish, he would wish for everything to go back to normal, before he met that freshman. When he felt like he still had everything in his grasp, even his poor journal.

 

 

 

 

Notes:

A/N: I'm starting college soon and I'm afraid I won't have time to write. I still have like 10 episodes written and I've gotten to a point where I could end the story if I need to. But I don't want to end the story there (or I don't know how I can end it atm, I know I can once I write it)

I'll keep you all updated don't worry! I hope you all enjoyed

Chapter 16: 15-Drowning

Notes:

Song- Drowning by The Red Clay Strays

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/22AYv6oubrOclu24nNux0M?si=e3d6a2d5a93543fd

Youtube: https://youtu.be/wUBVsOvmqKo?si=8rLl7_4nFAx6KeEx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max is immersed in the journal, eyes not leaving the words that have been placed in the paper.

Date: ‘06/03/1995.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

Yesterday was nothing but absolute bullshit. I didn’t have much time alone, which was kind of a good thing, I didn’t need to be swayed by that guy again. The downside, I was up my fathers ass all night. He dragged me around the room boasting to every snob that I’ll be a reliable lawyer to our family. 

I did like how every other person gave me a nasty look. I’m just a year younger than the other guys who graduated. I’d say that’s embarrassing for some. It’s not such a huge deal to me, but a man’s pride and ego can be so fragile. Wearing a smile has never been so easy while reading others' expressions. This one guy couldn’t even hide his distaste, making random comments during the whole night just to get under my fathers skin. If it wasn’t for me coming back with such snarky remarks, he would’ve lost it. I think he started to trust me again.

When I was left alone, that prick tried to corner me, every chance he got. No matter how many times I pushed him away, he just kept pushing my limits. How can someone be so damn stubborn? What’s worse is that’s the reason I kept going back. I eventually got him to have a level-headed conversation with me last night. No making out, no touching, just a conversation that whatever was going on had to stop now. He eventually understood saying he just wanted to have “fun” one last time, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen. It felt good, officially breaking things off I mean. I haven’t felt like I’ve been in control lately and I guess it kind of reassured me that I can be. I will miss his.. shit no I won’t be talking about him any further.

Besides a few hiccups, it was.. still nice, thanks to my sister. When something went wrong, she made sure there were backups, and backups for the backups. She held herself with such composure that no one could have said anything to bring her down. And.. my mom did say that she made me look acceptable. The outfit she chose was uncomfortable, but it was worth it. Even if it was just for tonight, my mother looked at me with approval. I had overheard her say she was rather proud of my accomplishments so far as well. Whether it was all an act or not, she still said those words… I can live with that. As she continues to disregard my presence.. No matter what, I’ll do my best to have her look at me and say those words again..’

 

Date: ‘08/27/1995’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I actually forgot I possessed this thing. This has been the most enjoyable summer so far. For once I actually feel like my own person. As a Fraternity president, We have to plan and host events, charities, and such this summer. 

To be honest, having people listen to me, agree with my ideas, and treat me with respect is such a wonderful feeling. It's different from being a sports captain. Everyone just agrees with me and follows orders. In a Frat, everyone pitches in ideas, we vote on which ones will be used, regardless of who's in charge. My brothers practically lean on me for ideas, but every now and then they come up with something brilliant.

Speaking of, our first donation event was the last time I've seen my parents this summer. They showed up, made such a generous donation, and left after networking for an hour or so. Yet again with a baseless threat before he left.. “Again son, if I ever find out you're causing any kind of indiscretions, it'll cost you more than your tuition.” Like I have any time to fuck up and make mistakes. He might trust me just enough to let me study here, yet he sure holds grudges.

All our other events, my brother and sisters tried to make it, and when they did, they never forgot to donate. I try to show them as much gratitude without being too vulnerable, but they really are such great supporters.. of the Fraternity.. and me. 

To be frank, my family is the biggest donor. Even when no one is here but myself, no matter the event, there's always a check being sent to support the cause, and the frat. Thanks to that, Our house was able to be renovated where it was needed. There's just enough in the bank to keep this frat secure for about 5 years, counting. 

Courses for the fall semester start tomorrow. Thanks to my placement levels in the SAT, ACT, AP, and other tests, I am able to skip on a few GE requirements. I'm still taking GE courses this semester, but I'm just ahead of others for now. 

This Friday, we'll be hosting the first party of the semester. I'm actually quite nervous, I've never actually been to a party, much less thrown one. But being the first frat to throw one will give us credit, and boost my social popularity even more.

Just imagining it gives me chills. “First year President of Fraternity. Has already helped donate thousands to charities. Making multiple headlines and receiving many achievements.” I absolutely cannot wait.’

 

Date: ‘09/02/1995’

 

‘Dear Journal,

It’s 2 in the morning, and the party is still alive. College kids seem to drink more than they can handle. I didn’t drink much, it was cheap liquor, however I feel slightly tipsy maybe.. There were so many girls rubbing against me.. How can they be so.. vulgar. One of them tried to come with me to my room, said it was typical for a freshman to experience the full.. Frat party experience or something. I let her off, told her I wasn’t interested, but she was persistent. Kissed me, with her tongue too, it was unpleasant. She reeked of that cheap alcohol and an overpowering scent from some perfume. I eventually got her off me and made her go back to the party and I’ve been locked in my room since then. If I didn’t know any better I’d say I was being taken advantage of… No that’s not possible.

I just want to rest. It’s so loud downstairs. But I don’t want to kick anyone out, that would ruin my reputation. My head is ringing and I can hear crassful noises from the other rooms. Why is it so loud? I feel like I’m going to barf, what did I even drink to have the feeling of throwing up. I think I’ll just take a bath, maybe that will help me and this horrible headache.’

 

Just a few lines under, the writing continues.

 

‘Dear Journal…

It appears that.. maybe I was drugged last night. There is just no way such cheap beer, or tequila, or whatever we were drinking- could have made me feel like that. I feel so disgusted for allowing.. whores to touch me like that. It’s three in the afternoon and everyone's still asleep. The frat is a pigsty and I know I’m not cleaning it up on my own.

I called my father this morning for his advice. He only scolded me, to say the least. Told me I should be proud women want me and that these parties shouldn’t interrupt my studies, or my status. He made it abundantly clear even if I was drugged, it didn’t matter to him and it shouldn’t matter to me… that if I get another opportunity to bang a woman, take it.. So I suppose I’ll just have to prepare myself for next time.

He went on to remind me of his birthday this month, and his plans to launch some grand business event that day. He wants the frat to be there because it’ll help him “score big time” So now I’m tasked with making sure my brothers are prepared for any and all situations before the event. They catch on quickly, so I’m sure it won’t be a problem. I have to wake them up now.’

 

As the writing uncover more secrets, more pain, Max can’t help but grow an unrequited hatred for the father more than he already has. He can’t grasp at the fact that someone's life could be so miserable with a narcissist running it all. After a while he chuckles, finally understanding where Bradley gets his personality from. The skater believes that it must be a shell, one the writer uses to protect himself for he has seen a softer side of him just a few hours ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17: 16- Comfortable

Notes:

Hiiii!! I moved into my housing yesterday and I'm honestly so excited!!
Also, someone remind me to start writing lol
Haven't written in like a week 😰

Song- Comfortable by Victor Ray

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1BEioZa6o8AVDmOh5Sc86j?si=f93d31ee87a94913

Youtube: https://youtu.be/OkisvbY3esw?si=an1jxwYZjZdjh-ct

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max continues to read, snacking on whatever he pulls out of his faded Jansport. So far he has read about the success of his fathers business after the birthday event. He has also read how the mom’s birthday was in November, along with his parents' anniversary. The writer wrote how he felt so insignificant during those two events and how he wished he was excused from attending. 

 

When the guy reads about Bradley’s conflict with his feelings for his mom, he thinks about his own relationship with his mom, that’s nonexistent. He ponders if his own mommy issues were the same as the perfect man’s, regardless of his mom being present. 

 

Nonetheless, he continues to read, the date now two years ahead, ‘10/30/1997’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I tried my best to forget about this, I really did. Yet here I am writing again like some loser. Tomorrow is Halloween, talk about good timing. We’re throwing a party, of course and honestly, I’m so fucking tired of these damn parties. It’s all the same- Drinks, drugs, sex. Like seriously, how can someone enjoy this so damn often. 

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I think I’ll finally lose my virginity tomorrow. If I get drunk enough, I won’t even care who it is, I just need the damn experience. But I also need one of the guys to buy something more.. Hard, and expensive.

Besides the parties, my studies have been well, I’m acing all my classes, as per usual. The Frat do plenty of charity events and volunteer work throughout the days, weekends, and summers. We even, miraculously, have enough time to practice for sport competitions. My favorite to be honest is the X-Games. We all seem to work twice as hard for them, which I like the most. We all seem passionate about it, we mainly focus on our own personal strengths and I believe it helps us bond even more.

My father calls occasionally to lecture me about certain attributes I could make during family events. It’s such a pain hearing the same things again and again. I wish I didn’t have to go to any other family events, but I don’t want to miss out on my mom’s birthday.. I can skip all the others for the year, but not her birthday. It’s in 5 days, but she’ll be celebrating on the weekend.’

 

Max carries on right on to the next entry. His gut feeling telling him something huge possibly happened. The date, ‘11/08/1997’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I’m going to kill myself. Why do I keep giving myself false hope? All my mother does is disregard me and my feelings. Am I truly not good enough for her?! All I want from her is her love and support. Is that too much to ask for?! She only treats me like this and it’s killing me. I’ve tried my best and it’s still not good enough! I don’t know what I can do to make her acknowledge me like she does the others. 

To make matters worse, I fucked a guy the night of the party. If my family finds out, I’m done for. There’s no coming back from this. It has been burning a hole in me this past week, filling me with more emotions that I do not need. Thankfully, I’ve never seen the guy around, but I still paid him to keep his mouth shut. He seemed.. chill? That’s besides the point! I vaguely remember going down on him, and he did too.. THIS IS SO FUCKING EMBARASSING…

Wait.. what if my mother already knew about all this.. What if father told her about what happened years ago. Shit shit shit shit shIT SHIT. FUCK! That can’t be true. Even if he did tell her, surely he would’ve told her I’m not gay. Hell he could’ve told her he fixed me again… 

All I’ve ever been was a good kid. And kids make mistakes right? I’ve never meant to make mistakes, but it just happened. No matter what I do it’s just not good enough. This is tearing me apart. I need to go back to the frat house soon. It’s too suffocating here in this house.’

 

After reading the complications of Bradley’s heart, Max nears the end of the written words with a more recent entry. The time skip is 2 years again, the date ‘10/11/1999’

 

‘Dear Journal,

I must have lost my goddamn mind. I barely know the guy, and I’m sure he thinks I’m some pretentious rich snoot. I thought what I felt was just acceptance and admiration for his skills.. He’s just.. Amazing. Inside and out. 

I can’t stop thinking about him, it’s driving me crazy. It’s different from lust, it’s the same feeling from back then.. I’m not gay, but-  FUCK! These feelings are wrong. I can’t feel like this.. Boys can’t like boys. I keep telling myself this and the only thing that fills me is shame.

If my father found out, he’d kill me, if I don’t kill myself first. Yet these feelings don’t disappear at that thought… He can’t control me forever, but what about my mother.. Surely she’d be more disappointed if she knew too.

I just… wish I was normal. I wish I didn’t have these disgusting thoughts and I wouldn’t have to worry. If I just told him.. What would he think? Would he think I’m nasty, that I’m just another faggot?...

What the hell am I even talking about. None of this can be true. I’m not gay. I don’t like him, he just.. gets on my nerves. I have other things to worry about. This is just pent up frustration.. No big deal, I’ll just find a hookup. Halloween is in about 3 weeks though, I can wait until then.’

 

Softly closing the journal, Max finally knows every secret Bradley allowed himself to write out. He has feelings of understanding on his relationship with his mom, anger about his situation with his father, and an overall disgust over both. Most of all, he feels empathetic. Bradley has been through so much that Max can’t even comprehend half of it. 

 

As he puts everything back in his bag, he thinks over when would be a good time to confront the author. Regardless of when he confronts the older, he knows it’s not going to be an enjoyable talk for either one of them. Walking back towards campus, he is determined to talk to Bradley about this the next time they have class. He’s sure that the owner of the journal will begin to come back to classes and what better way to get his attention than then.

 

Coming up with his game plan, he eventually makes it to his dorm. His two friends are currently playing a game until he walks in. He almost completely forgets about this morning’s predicament when they bombard him with questions.

 

“C’mon dude, why was the Bradley Uppercrust III in your bed? The same night we went over to party at the Gammas frat house,” PJ pesters, earning a groan from the shorter.

 

“Yea max-man, did y’all do the deeeed?” Bobby jokes, wiggling his eyebrows. Both PJ and Max look at him in a silent disgust. “What? I’m asking the hard questions!”

 

“Sheesh! Nothing happened between us!” Max defends with his hands up. “We were just under the influence and tired, so I offered shared bed space where it was quiet.” He shrugs it off like it was something normal to do.

 

“OK, that’s a totally Max Goof thing to do,” The bigger guy accepts the explanation from the tooth gapped guy.

 

 “Lameeeeee. At least we got footage of you two cuddlingg!,” the stoner says, hugging himself teasingly.

 

“Oh c’mon, delete it. I’ll buy you uh.. Cheez Whiz!” Max groans with a plea,

 

“Tempting offer, but I already got it made into a VHS tape.” Bobby pulls out the chunky tape cassette. It’s labeled ‘Max w/ the Brad man!’ 

 

“You can’t be serious.. Right?” The worry in his eyes makes the others snicker.

 

Bobby decides to play it, and surely enough it plays. Max and Bradley are facing the wall, the younger holding him close. In the background, all you can hear are the two laughing and snorting. Bradley then wakes up, turning his head and the last thing heard is Bobby going “shit!” Max can only stare at the blocky TV in disbelief.

 

“This never leaves this dorm. You both got that,” he points at them to which they both agree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

So! we reached the end of the journal?! I hope you guys enjoyed the way I wrote this chapter

Remember if you like the jams, I piled all the titles into a Spotify playlist!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3d8qXSq7vfasVPbOhBwt8d?si=0146892dd1c14e57

Chapter 18: 17-Silent Hedges

Notes:

Song- Silent Hedges by Bauhaus

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3BBMIJGFtrUaTBbcc4smcm?si=52f61c1fb4ba43b2

Youtube: https://youtu.be/iMm5WovO9zo?si=sYnMdqW3M1HgBu5l

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Max makes his way to his sociology class. It’s currently 12, giving the skater just barely 15 minutes before the lecture begins. Once he arrives, he scans the room. His usual seat is occupied, however, he spots a familiar face that he hasn’t seen in a while (not counting the party last Friday). He has one hand on his head, the other hand writing down notes fiercely. It just so happens to be an open seat next to the guy as well.

 

“Never knew you were left-handed,” he remarks, taking a seat next to the infamous man. 

 

“Oh for crying out loud..” Bradley mutters before side-eyeing the other. “It’s called ambidexterity. Now why don’t you buzz off.”

 

“Aren’t you in a swell mood,” rolling his eyes, he takes his notes out. “My usual seat has been taken. Besides, I uh,” he hesitates, knowing now isn’t the best time to confess.

 

“Spit it out already, we don’t have all day,” the older sighs, jotting notes down again. The stress on his face is evident.

 

An idea finally pops into Max’s head watching him. “I can help you with your notes. If you’re not busy after the lecture.”

 

Finally setting the pencil down, Bradley faces the younger. “And what makes you think I believe you want to help me out, freshman?”

 

“Because some people are just nice. Does there really need to be a motive for everything?” He snaps back. The shock on the dignified man's face surprises Max. ‘Is  it really that hard to trust others,’ he thinks to himself, figuring it is for some people. He exhales, voice dropping to a murmur, “Look man, even if there was an.. “ulterior motive,” why would I want to cause harm? I dropped the bet, gave you a get well card-”

 

“That was blank,” he points out, as if to make a point.

 

“.. and just a few days ago we slept together, what kind of grudge would I hold against you after all that?” Max finishes. His hands finally drop after using them to explain himself.

 

“First off, don’t word it like that,” Bradley says through gritted teeth, a small, flustered rage bubbling from within. “Secondly, can you try to keep your voice down?” Cooling himself down, he analyzes what the goof had said. “Fine, you’ve made fair points. I hate to admit it, but I do need the help. I'll be free around 6, if that's fine with you.”

 

“Works for me. Can I come to the Gamma house or is that too invasive?” Just then the professor walks in.

 

“Yes, now let me focus.” The professor starts the lecture almost immediately after he ends the conversation.

 

Max thinks that meeting at the gamma house is perfect. He plans on giving back the journal after giving Bradley the notes that it’s a plus it won’t be anywhere public. Of course, now the dark haired has to go through with the plan.

 

The brunet contemplates over their conversation more, huffing at himself. He realizes there will be an awkward moment when Max asks to see him. He also knows it'll be more unbearable when he has him follow him to his room. Bradley refuses to give the Gammas anything more to talk about when it comes to him. 

 

When the lecture ends, he stops the alt. guy. Instead of responding to his curiosity, he writes down, ‘ Don’t use the front door. My room is the only one that has a porch connected to it out back and next to it is a tree. Use that and make sure no one sees you.’

 

He hands make the note and walks away. Before he gets too far, he mentions, “Try not to hurt yourself, it’ll make things more complicated.”

 

“Like you just didn’t make this more complicated,” Max grumbles surveying the note. He feels as if he’s being taunted, noticing that Bradley’s handwriting has never significantly changed.

 

                –

 

Here he is, just five minutes after 6, looking up at the porch. It’s the 2nd floor, the tree blocks the view of other’s peering into Bradley’s room, giving it more privacy. Before climbing, Max shoves his skateboard into his bag. Once he reaches the branch that leads perfectly to the frat’s porch, the skater sits. He is amazed at the view, enjoying the spring breeze hitting his patchy face.

 

Bradley sits annoyed at his desk studying for his other classes. When he mentioned 6 o’clock, he always expects people to show up 5 minutes early at the very least. But Max, he’s currently 7 minutes late which only ticks the poised man off. Groaning, he pushes back, running both hands through his hair. ‘How hard is it to be on time at the latest,’ he thinks as he stands. He decides to go downstairs for a cup of water since the other is wasting his time.

 

Upon making it back to his room, Bradley notices a still figure on the tree. Startled, he chokes on the water, coughing it up. Slamming the glass onto his desk, he makes his way to the porch. The irate man throws the sliding door open, breaking Max out of his daydream.

“Oh shit,” Max starts before being cut off.

 

“You think this is some joke wasting my time? You’re 15 minutes late. What the hell are you doing just sitting there?” Bradley goes off warranting a groan from the one outside.

 

“Hey, hey,” he throws his hands up before continuing. “Sorry, I got distracted. Nice view out here.”

 

“I don’t care. Just.. get in here,” the tanned man walks to his bed to take a seat. He ushers the lightskin to sit in the chair. “I just need the notes. If you trust me with your notebook, you can leave it and come back to get it in 3 hours.”

 

“I’m not in any hurry to leave, I can just wait here. Do some studying while I’m at it.” Max holds his back, his nerves jumping. He pulls the notebook out, leaving it on the desk. He’s fighting with himself about coming clean although in the end he knows he’ll have to bring the topic up.

 

“Alright, then just.. don’t disturb me,” Bradley grabs the others notes, along with his notebook and gets to writing almost instantly. He notices that Max is actually pretty good at note taking: everything is organized, he writes questions and comments in the margin when he’s engrossed in the unit, he even annotates his annotations. The only problem is that his handwriting isn’t the best, but it’s still readable.

 

Seeing the older already in the zone snaps Max out of a spiral. ‘Not the right time to bring it up,’ he tells himself. He figures he should focus on his studies as well. 

 

The mood between the two is welcoming, oddly. Neither one has spoken, too focused on their notes. Bradley eventually looks over at his guest. His heart pangs, noticing the boy bopping his head to some music he’s playing on his cassette tape. Mixed emotions cloud his thoughts making him oblivious to his surroundings.

 

Max feels as if someone is burning a hole into his head. Turning his head, he is shocked to not only catch the other looking at him, but to also see him spaced out this time. Seeing him like this makes Max's stomach turn.

 

“Ok, I can’t take this anymore,” he takes his headphones off. His words bring the older back to his senses. “Look, we need to have a conversation Bradley.”

 

“A conversation about what?” Confusion is now added to the mix of feelings the third is experiencing.

 

His composed face turns into one of panic, fear, and anger when Max pulls a gray book out of his bag. His lost journal was in the hands of the freshman that beat him at the X-Games.

 

“About this.. It’s yours, isn’t it?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

A/N: HERE IT IS!!!

THE moment many have been waiting for !

I hope, like always, that I delivered!!

Chapter 19: No Update :(

Hi guys! I know some of you were probably waiting for this chapter. As college has started this week, I've been getting to know my campus more and things. As I write this, of course I could've just posted the chapter, but I wanted to feel as if I'm actually giving it instead of just posting it and going back to college life y'know. Fear not tho, I will upload the next chapter Saturday, probably in the morning, maybe the afternoon. I'm really looking forward to all your amazing comments, it really gives me the motivation and a deeper sense of connection. Again, thank you all so much and I'll soon see y'all again Saturday!! 

 

Lots of love,

 

Killian 🖤

Chapter 20: 18-Animal I Have Become

Notes:

Hey guys! this is another moment you all have been waiting for! I'd suggest reading ch 17 again for a good refresh. I also think it gives you the same tension that you read at the end a lil bit. Again enjoy!

 

Song- Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/56sk7jBpZV0CD31G9hEU3b?si=28f61bda44954090

Youtube: https://youtu.be/xqds0B_meys?si=qkrPItGz9UnSEYwb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Panic clouds Bradley’s judgment, rage taking a stance to protect his other emotions. The broken man instantly rises to his feet, towering over Max. Almost instantly after, he snatches the journal out of the shorter’s hands. At a loss for words, he can only watch Bradley break down, in the worst way possible.

 

“Why the hell do you have this?! And what do you mean “It’s yours, isn’t it?” Did you- did you read it?! What the fuck is wrong with you?” He yells, expecting an answer. Looking at Max who’s looking back with dumbfoundedness only ignites the flame more. “Answer me god dammit! Do you think you have some kind of upper hand on me because of this?!” He shoves the journal into the other's face before throwing it against the wall, the impact making Max tense more.

 

“Bradley-” the younger tries softly, his voice cracking. He knew this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, but the reaction he received was one he hoped wouldn’t occur.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” He breaks off whatever Max is going to say, his voice only getting louder. All he can do is run his hands through his now frantic hair, gripping fistfuls of it. Just then there’s a knock on the door, making him flinch. Every noise that Bradley hears only clogs his senses in the worst way possible.

 

“Hey baby, is everything good? Heard a thud, and you’re practically screaming,” Tank’s deep voice settles in, yet it doesn’t make the man consider his actions.

 

“Can you fuck off this doesn’t concern you!” Bradley shouts, facing the door as if the bigger man was in the room.

 

A long, painful silence fills the tense air before the man behind the door responds. “Yeah, whatever. Me and the Gammas are heading off, we don’t want to hear or be a part of this episode you’re having.”

 

“Good, I don’t need any of you here anyways!” Just then he picks up his half empty glass of water and pitches it at the door. 

 

The shattering gives Max a shiver within. At any moment, the older could get violent with him, so he prepares himself, standing up. As long as he wasn’t sitting, he felt like he could take control of the situation.

 

“You need to fix these issues you got going on, Bradley,” It’s the last thing Tank says before he walks away, steps fading down the stairs.

 

Bradley only screams out in a rampage, hands finding their place back in his brown hair. His vision finally snaps back at Max. He’s only just standing, watching him. He can’t help but feel offended.

 

“What are you looking at? You think you’re better than me because of that damn journal?” He marches over to the shorter, cornering him. “Why are you fucking me over?”

 

“I’m not fucking you over Bradley,” Max lets out, his voice mellow yet stern. His eyes meet Bradley’s, not breaking contact. “Just hear me out please.” He isn’t exactly asking, but the younger is still polite. 

 

For reasons unknown, Bradley feels a rush of calmness run through him. Perhaps it’s because he expressed so much that he had bottled up moments ago. Or maybe it’s because after it all, Max is staying calm and composed, unlike him. He’s still angry, but all the screaming has tired him out.

 

“Fine.. explain yourself before I change my mind,” the Brunet treads back to his bed, sitting hunched over with his elbows jabbing his legs. His hands wash over his face, trying to compose himself again.

 

Max walks over to him, this time towering over him. He pulls the chair away from the desk to face the bed and takes a seat. He looks at the deprived man until he finally looks back.

 

“Listen to me before you say anything, alright?” He wants to make sure he hears his story before coming to any conclusions.

 

“Sure.. go on.” He agrees.

 

The guy with the face piercings takes a deep breath before telling his side. 

 

“I found the journal after I left the hospital. I don’t remember where, just that I tripped on it while skating. There’s no name, so there was no way of knowing it was yours then.” He watches Bradley’s expression, it’s tame at the moment. He waits a few more seconds before he continues. “And.. I didn’t mean to but what was written caught my eye,” his hand rubs the nape of his neck, “so.. I read. I read everything you wrote- But I swear I only figured that it was you towards the end!” He holds his hands up as if there was a gun pointed to him.

 

Bradley, trying to keep his composure, stares daggers at Max. His hands are clenched tightly, his knuckles turn white. He closes his eyes, exhaling to relax his body. He feels a headache rising. A palm rests on his forehead as he speaks up. “You.. read the whole thing?”

 

“Yea. I didn’t tell anyone about the journal, not even my best friends. I figured whoever it belonged to would at least appreciate that, even though I invaded your privacy.”

 

This time, the blue eyed man faces away from the brown eyes looking at him. Albeit there is still anger within him, it slowly dies down, vulnerability washing over.

 

“I’m sorry.. For reading it,” he apologizes yet Bradley stays silent. He wavers before speaking up again. “Everything you’ve gone through Bradley, I acknowledge it.”

 

“Don’t,” His voice is barely above a whisper. He doesn’t want the freshman to pity him, but he’s at a loss for words.

 

Max doesn’t speak, not wanting the older to break into another fit of rage. Only after a few minutes does he continue. “You shouldn’t have gone through any of what you experienced man.”

 

“What do you know? I don’t need you telling me any of this.” Bradley hates himself the more his voice cracks. “You don’t care, who would.” He wants to shut up, but the words keep spilling. “You think you know me because of what you read now?”

 

“I know that you’re not ok,” the younger steps in. He rests his hand on the other shoulder watching him tense. “This might sound stupid to you, but I believe there’s a good person in you, ok? What happened at the X-Games was just one huge mistake- one the whole frat committed, you just took the blame, and I can’t base my judgment on just that.. Especially after reading.. your story.”

 

“Shut up..” He tries, utterly defeated.

 

“What I’m getting at is that you can come to me if you need to take things off your mind, if you can trust me,” Silence from the guy on the bed prompts Max to move on. “And I don’t mind us restarting, PJ and Bobby too, as long as you make an effort and apologize, I’m sure we all can get along. You don’t have to be alone.”

 

Tears threaten to leave the watercolor eyes, however Bradley refuses to cry in front of anyone, especially not him. “I’m not alone,” a phrase he tries to convince himself of. Before Max can say anything else, he says one more thing, “You need to leave, now.”

 

With a sigh, the younger nods. “Hey, of course. Just know whenever you want, you can hang with me and the gang.” He slightly grips on his less tensed shoulder as reassurance prior to collecting his bag and his things. He leaves the sociology notebook. "I’ll leave the notes with you, make sure to bring it with you for our next lecture.”

 

Max leaves the same way he got in. He took one last look at Bradley’s room before pulling out his board and skating away. The skater hopes that his words will stick with the older, after all he has been genuine.

 

Bradley only stares at his porch with a wide range of emotions. It only makes his head hurt more when he looks at the poor book he threw. He goes over to retrieve it, hands squeezing as if it’ll leave if he doesn't. 

 

He thinks about what has happened, then he thinks about it again. He acted like a fool, earning a scowl. He leaves the journal on the bed, next to Max’s notebook. Oddly enough, the little boy in him felt a sense of relief looking at the two types of books. 

 

Afterwards, he begins to clean up the mess in front of his door. He muses at the thought of balling his hands up while holding the shards of glass, at least then he’ll feel a different kind of pain. Fortunately, he has enough control to not engage in his impulsive thoughts.

 

Coming back to his room, Bradley looks at the notebook, then at the journal. He wants to write about everything, yet he knows he needs to finish studying. He also notes that he should apologize to Tank and the other Gammas. There’s so much for him to do, but right now all he wants to do is sleep it all off. So that is exactly what he does; moving the things off his bed to his desk, he then curls up under his blanket, drifting off to a nap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

thank you all again for all the support, I love y'all!

Chapter 21: 19-Rufus

Notes:

Heyyyyy!! This one's a lil shorter but it's still 1k words, so enjoy!

Song- Rufus by Yot Club

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0w58y4V052pvsKDU6dEF6g?si=7c7a47ab3adf49dc

Youtube: https://youtu.be/oQ_5_7MJXM0?si=7IEYDsWTuPDA9WsA

 

Bradley thinks about the words Max had said three days ago. As much as it angers him to the core, he has been left defenseless. There is nothing he could do that would make him feel better, so he rots in bed (when he’s not working on class assignments). All he can think about is how his life is on display, always has been, but everything he has written is essentially blackmail the younger could use to his benefit. Then it finally hits the stubborn man.

 

“He.. read everything,” his voice is dry, eyes searching for nothing as they scan the blank ceiling. ‘Is he assuming I’m gay? He’s pitying me, that’s all. Shit. The last thing I wrote, does he know?’ Bradley’s internal voice only gives him more stress as he pulls the journal out. Flipping to what he wrote last, he scans over it, checking to see if he gave any major clues on who he wrote the entry about. It is so painfully obvious to him, however, there’s no way Max would know who he was referring to. That would have been a more awkward conversation to have. 

 

Just then Max’s voice rings in his head, as if he was laying next to him. ‘ … whenever you want, you can hang with me and the gang.’ A red hue covers his healed face as he jolts out of bed. He settles on a shower, hoping it will calm his nerves.

 

“Why would I want to hang out with that bunch of freshmen,” Bradley talks to himself as he dresses up. It’s a more casual look although it still gives him the Bradley Uppercrust III feel. “They’ll just chastise me..” He looks over at Max’s notebook before shoving it into his bookbag. “I’m just leaving to give him this back, that’s all,” with a sigh, the slim figure leaves his room.

 

Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, he hears lively bickering from the lounge. He doesn’t want to, yet he takes long strides towards the voices. When the Gammas notice Bradley standing in the door frame, the energy dies, leaving uncomfortable tension. He eventually makes eye contact with Tank and remembers his resolution.

 

“I wanted to apologize for Monday. I was.. out of character,” his blue eyes don’t break contact with the ginger.

 

The others mutter and scoff to each other, not believing in their former president’s words. They’re hushed quickly with a raise of their current president's hand.

 

“Next time this happens, you might have to find some place to “temporarily” stay, we can only handle your bs for so long,” He’s nothing but honest, his voice conveying worry in itself.

 

“I understand.” Bradley turns his head to the side, facing the door. “I’m going to run some errands, won’t be back until late.. Does anyone need anything?”

 

“You can buy us some condoms, and booze, we’re running low,” one of the shorter members sneers.

 

“Sure.” Bradley leaves, listening to everyone continue their fun. 

 

They once supported him, encouraged his actions, hell they also believed what they were doing- cheating, for the past two and a half years- was acceptable. Now that they lost, they blame Bradley for it all, as if he forced a gun to their heads. They ostracize him every chance they get because they feel superior over him. Even though he understands why, it continues to leave a bitter taste in his mouth as he mutters, “Traitors..”

 

The man isn’t sure where he is going. He doesn’t exactly know where Max is and doesn’t have any contact with him at that. It’s not like he wants to see the younger anyways, he just prefers to get this notebook off his hands and the sooner it’s done, the sooner he doesn’t have to interact with the goof. Every time he replays the guy's words, he tells himself that’s the only reason he wants to see him

 

He’s been holed up at the Bean Scene for three hours now, a grimace on his face as he sits in a poorly lit corner. He watches people come and go, listening to whoever is performing. The only time he got up was to order a salad with an iced tea.

 

The interesting thing about the Bean Scene is that after a certain hour they switch to a club, somewhat. Bradley watches certain people leave while other people fill in the spaces. He would describe them to be punk or grunge in his opinion. Some people look rather normal, in a band tee and what not. The people who really intrigues the casual man are the ones dressed in a gothic aesthetic. He’s always taken interest in the style, though he can’t see himself dressing like such.

 

“Of course the Bean Scene is a club for the scene kids,” Bradley speaks out, no one around to listen. He means no harm when he says it, just more surprised that places like these exist. The younger version of himself (what he tells himself) is quite excited to actually experience a place like this.

 

It’s not much different from day time activities, except the tables and chairs have all been moved, giving the punk, the grunge, and the goths the room to dance, mosh, and socialize in general. Local bands share the stage one by one, some serious about their career, others using their band to share their hobbies. The chances of someone recognizing the infamous Bradley is slim, but of course, it’s not impossible. If it wasn’t for that fact, he would’ve joined the fun when bands who focus on the goth genre played. 

 

He felt like it was time to go back to the frat house, stopping by the drug store first. He curses himself out wasting all day in the corner of this cafe instead of looking for the one person he left his room to find. He stops in his tracks when he hears a familiar voice booming through the speakers.

 

“What’s good Bean Scene! You can call this our “debut” although we only sing covers,” there’s a grin on his face, his piercings shimmering under the stage lights. Shouts are heard all throughout the cafe, everyone already hyped from previous bands.

 

Eyes wide, the out of place man faces the stage. There he is standing front and center, Max Goof. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Here is my vision on Bradley's simple ah outfit.

Notes:

 Tune in Saturday to see Max's (〃￣︶￣)

Chapter 22: 20-Should I Stay or Should I Go

Notes:

Good morning guys! It's actually midnight for me (almost 1), but I really wanted to post right now. I'm not tired but I gotta get up early 😔

Song- Should I Stay or Should I Go

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/39shmbIHICJ2Wxnk1fPSdz?si=82979f7f509a40c2

Youtube: https://youtu.be/BN1WwnEDWAM?si=0L-XiVy3Ncj7vVAd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The star of the band wears a guitar print ribbed tank paired with wide legged denim jeans that fit perfectly around his lower waist. Underneath the tank top, he wears some sort of long sleeve fishnet crop top. All sorts of accessories decorate his hands, wrists, neck, and waist. Ironically, he wears the same worn down converse to complete the fit.

 

Behind the one standing in front of the mic are his friends. PJ on drums, Bobby on guitar, and Mocha on bass. They’re all also dressed for the occasion, in their own styles. As they prepare their instruments, Max only continues to speak through the mic. He introduces the band as ‘The Goof Troop.’

 

His smokey eyes scans the many faces in the room, nerves jumping around, turning into adrenaline. Once the three confirm their instruments are ready, the first song starts with a long intro. And then the singer’s voice joins in.

 

“I've been a bad, bad boy

I've been careless with a desperate man

And it's a sad, sad world

When a girl can break a boy just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it”

 

Bradley knows this song, Criminal by Fiona Apple. The band gives the song a more rock feeling. He notices when Max switches a few words, it’s not important, yet he still makes note of it. The most obvious change when he sings the first verse, changing girl to boy. Something inside the observer stirs, but he ignores it, focusing on Max singing.

 

The song ends and everyone cheers, Bradley included. Almost instantly The Goof Troop moves on to their next cover song. Ballroom Blitz by Sweet.

 

“Are you ready, Bobby? (Uh-huh)

PJ? (Yeah)

Mocha? (Okay)

Alright fellas, let's go!”

 

The crowd cheers, dancing, head banging, and singing along. They get through the first verse before Max points out to the crowd, exactly where Bradley is standing. He begins to fluster, until he realizes it’s all an act for the song.

 

“Oh, I see a man at the back, as a matter of fact

His eyes are as red as the sun

And the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her

'Cause she thinks she's the passionate one

 

Oh, yeah! It was like lightning

Everybody was fighting

And the music was soothing

And they all started grooving

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”

 

The band continues to play a series of songs, the energy never dying. During one of the songs, Max noticed that the guy in the back oddly looked like Bradley. He finally realized that it was. Something about the rich boy watching Max sing gives him an extra boost of confidence. The next few songs, he shows it. Whether it’s jumping up and down or yelling at the crowd to sing along, Max is fully immersed, enjoying every second.

 

Their last song, Bobby starts off on his guitar. Swiftly followed by Mocha on her bass, then PJ on the drums. Max stares straight at Bradley as he starts to sing.

 

“Darling, you got to let me know”

 

Bradley knows that the man on stage is staring right at him. He wants to look away. He only continues to stare back, as if in a trance. 

 

“Should I stay or should I go?

If you say that you are mine

I'll be here 'til the end of time

 

So you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?

 

t's always tease, tease, tease

You're happy when I'm on my knees

One day is fine and next is black

So if you want me off your back

 

Well, come on and let me know

Should I stay or should I go?”

 

Farther into the song, Mocha and Bobby join in, only singing the spanish lyrics ("Bobby you can speak spanish?!" everyone shouted during rehearsals). Max refuses to break eye contact the whole song. Eventually he does, only a few seconds after the song ends, to marvel at the crowd who roar loudly for them.

 

“Thank you! Hope to see everyone here next week!” The grungy guy looks directly at Bradley as if knowing he would. “Again, we are The Goof Troop, now give it up to the next band!”

 

The four of them leave to go backstage, Bobby whooping and howling. 

 

“That was spec-tac-u-la-a-a-ar!!” the ginger bays, wrapping his arms around the couple.

 

“It sure as hell was! We killed it.” PJ adds, receiving a kiss from Mocha.

 

“I have to give it to you boys, we did better than I thought we would on our first day,” Mocha’s tone is calming in contrast to the others.

 

“Yea. Hey I’ll be right back,” Max mentions before rushing out to the crowd. The three only look at him leave and shrug it off, packing their equipment away.

 

His eyes search for the only one who stands out. Finding him walking out the cafe, he curses before catching up to him.

 

“Hey Brad!” Max shouts, a few feet away from him.

 

The older stops, turns around, and crosses his arms. “It’s Bradley,” he corrects, though not loud enough for the younger to hear.

 

“I didn’t think to see you down at the Bean Scene this late at night,” he grins, about arm's length away.

 

“Me neither,” he has an attitude and he doesn’t know why. Shaking it off he fumbles, “I mean, I lost track of time and it seemed interesting enough to watch. When I got up to leave you and your.. friends got on stage.”

 

“So.. you stayed to watch us play?” The question makes Bradley feel like an idiot, especially watching the grin on Max’s face grow wide.

 

“I guess so, it’s not like I had anything better to do.” he turns his head to avoid eye contact.

 

“Well, doesn't matter why you showed up, I appreciate you listening to us.” his voice holds nothing but genuinity. It stirs something inside of Bradley, this time he understands why. 

 

“Don’t mention it.” The pompous voice seems to have let a wall down, afraid to look at the alt fashioned guy. He fiddles with his bookbag until he remembers the reason why he left his room. “I actually was looking for you early, so I can return your notebook.” His slim fingers open his book bag, taking out the spiraled book.

 

Max looks at the notebook before taking it. An idea pops into his head. “You wanna join us? We’re going to this local diner.”

 

“I would rather not invade your time with your friends,” the other immediately rejects.

 

“Oh c’mon, they’re going to know you were there anyways.”

 

When Max comes back with Bradley, the trio look at each other in shock. The brunet keeps his stance, arms crossed, looking away.

 

“Max, what’s he doing here?” PJ asks softly, a little wary.

 

“It’s ok Peej, I invited him,” The shortest smiles.

 

“Right. Why would you invite him?” the chubby man tries again.

 

“Well, I saw him in the crowd, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take him with us.” he finally explains.

 

“No way dude,” Bobby starts, deadpanning at Bradley. He steps closer until he throws an arm over the taller, making him lose his balance.

 

“Hey-”

 

“You saw me shred right? Did I look cool or what?” the stoner definitely does not care who he is, as long as they praise him.

 

“I suppose so,” he says with a sigh. Then he thought about Max’s words looking over toward PJ. ‘As long as I apologize and make an effort..’ Clearing his throat, he stands up straight after getting Bobby off of him. “I also suppose that I have something to say to everyone.. PJ, Bobby, Max, Mocha.” he wasn’t really sure why he included her, but it felt like the right thing to do. “I would like to apologize for all the trouble me and the Gammas- that I put you all through.”

 

Silence follows the apology, Bradley’s skin crawling due to it. He notices how the brown eyes he chose to look at soften as Max coos. Mocha is the first one to initiate a reaction, walking towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

“It seems this apology is more directed to you boys, although I appreciate it nonetheless. Looks like what once plagued you is turning into something that can lift you high,” she gives her insight before making her way to the back doors. “I’ll meet you four in the car.”

 

Before they can fall back into silence, Bobby yips. “That’s what I’m talking 'bout man. The big man wants to change his ways, I’m all for it.”

 

Then it is PJ’s turn. “I don’t know if I can forgive you just yet, but it’s not like you didn’t get what was coming to you.” Bradley’s eye seems to twitch at that mention. “But if the others are chill with it, I don’t mind you tagging along.”

 

“Well that’s good,” Max is the last to speak. “I already forgave him, so let’s go get some food!” The four of them pack the equipment into Bobby’s van, the older helping after Max gave him a nudge. Before the two of them enter the vehicle, Max speaks. “I told you we’d all get along.”

 

“Zip it,” The brunet gets in the van, looking out the window. His heart does feel a little lighter, but he’ll never admit that out loud.

 

The group spends the rest of their time at the diner, then at the skatepark before calling it a night. Bobby drops Bradley off first before heading to Mochas. It is then that he realizes he forgot to buy what the Gammas asked for. Cursing under his breath, he stops by a drug store, buys condoms and booze, and makes his way back to the frat house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Here is the Goof's sick ass outfit (imagine the print is red tho)

Notes:

Y'all might be like "why is this fool adding sm lore to this single au?" Welllllll, it gives it the authentic Goofy Universe effect, there's always sm going on 😼

I also wanted to share the videos of the 3 songs that the Goof Troop sings (that I put the lyrics on) kinda like a shoutout to the people who did the covers. That's how I figured out which songs to use kind of lol, if it sounded perfect, I imagined the Goof Troop.

So here is the playlist of the 3 covers https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYwJnxN9UMniX_tAneCqBgG_YLWxVwS7-&si=S9k5AnpZvFmFtzpH

Chapter 23: 20-BONUS: This is the Day

Notes:

Surprise surprise!! A bonus chapter! It just didn't feel complete unless I added this. Enjoy!!

 

Song- This is the Day by Matt Maltese

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7gppRczEvp3bht0q6HuN38?si=c126bfbefafe48fa

Youtube: https://youtu.be/GtpHJ5dZQnk?si=FgXx4sOaJhcwER9Q

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gamma house is quiet, its members in their respective rooms for the night. Bradley walks in, heading straight to the kitchen. He sets the bag down on the counter looking for paper and a pen. Once he obtains both items he writes a note.

 

‘I made sure the condoms were the ones everyone likes. Try not to use them all in one go. Never specified what alcohol everyone wanted or how much, so this bottle of Hennessy will have to do for now. If someone makes a list, I’ll be more than glad to buy it. Tank, don’t forget we’re hosting a charity event soon, we need to talk about it. -Bradley U. III’

 

As he stares down at the note, he only hopes that Tank is the first to see it, or someone with enough compassion. Before he gets lost in thought, he pours himself a glass of water and walks up the quiet stairs to his room. The tired man decides on a warm shower.

 

Upon returning to his bedroom, the tired eyes focus on his desk. Walking over, he opens a drawer to reveal his journal. Bradley only peers down, face unreadable. He sits down, pulling the gray book out. With a soft exhale he opens it to the next blank page, making a mental note that the pages are running thin. First, he writes the date - ‘04/22/2000.’

 

‘Dear Journal,

So much has happened since the last time I wrote here. As much as I hate using this, I can’t live without it. When I lost it, I couldn’t focus for days, a stupid object made me feel that way, it’s pathetic.

The X-Games was practically a shit show. I was too obsessed with winning, of keeping my reputation that it harmed too many people this year. I almost lost someone close to me, and yet all I thought about was winning. We still lost, I don’t blame him for being mad, but he still threw me into a fucking blimp, how is that even possible. Luckily he isn’t mad at me still, talking to him is hard now. Who knows if we can ever forgive each other. Perhaps we can think about this and laugh bitterly about it.

I was in the hospital for a whole month, went through extreme physical therapy. I look as if nothing happened. I don’t actually know how, but my tooth has been replaced, others might not be able to tell, but I can, I absolutely hate it. 

My brother and sisters came as soon as they heard about the situation. Something about them looking at me in the hospital after fixing my fuck ups really made me think about what had happened and why I did it. I was never like this. I mean our first 3 years we won the X-Games on pure skill. The 3rd year was a little more difficult, but I can’t remember what triggered me to use such cheap tricks. My sister, she came to check up on me regularly. I really appreciated it, her company made me feel.. less lonely. She must’ve been busy and she still made time to see me. Ever since I’ve been discharged, the other members have been treating me as if I’ve been some tyrant. I typically ignore their antics however.

Just a few days ago, my journal came back to me.. That guy from before.. He found it. He confessed to reading it, which was the only reason he figured it belonged to me. Something inside of me snapped and I acted like a fool in front of him. And yet he stayed.. He stayed to explain himself but still. Who wants to be around someone screaming their head off. 

At least it seems like he didn’t know who the last page was about, so that was a relief. But I couldn’t get his words out of my head. I went to see him yesterday, I had a good reason, I just needed to return his notebook. I ended up not looking for him, and stayed at some cafe. I learned that it also serves as a nightclub of some sort for certain types of people. I admit that it was a lot. Some of the songs I heard were things I liked, others kind of intimidated me, especially with the people singing them.

When I was about to leave.. he showed up. He was on stage with his friends, apparently starting a band. He was… he looked good. And his voice was.. I mean he can sing. I stayed the whole time he was on stage. He eventually noticed me and it made me.. feel things I don’t want to feel. I left when he got off stage, but he followed me out. His stupid face seemed really happy to see me. I know that’s not the case.. He’s probably just fucking with me. 

It did seem like no one else knew about the journal.. So maybe what he says is the truth and I’m just overreacting. For some reason it made me want to get along with him and his friends. I apologized and they, for the most part accepted it, and invited me to spend the rest of the night together with them. I did, but it was mainly just me listening to them speak, until they bugged me to speak. They went to the skatepark and skated around. I sat with the girl, they tried to convince me to ride, but I’m just not ready to get back on a skateboard. They took me home after. It was.. quite enjoyable, I don’t know how long this will last.’

Chapter 24: 21-Shy

Notes:

Y'all, I fr need to start cooking again, I'm running out of chapters!

I also need to plan song titles for upcoming chs again, took 10 minutes to decide this one

I also might go back to posting on Saturday, or move that day to Sundays, depending on how busy life gets y'know.
I know the 21st I won't be able to post so I'll probably give y'all your last thursday update then.

Thank you guys as always and enjoy!

Song- Shy by K.Flay

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3Y2P7XucE49CCp6zjtqilF?si=15d00a27955147d5

Youtube: https://youtu.be/MjTyKmcF-Q8?si=a6-7pyOFrRHYWpCd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That morning, Tank reads the note, coming to a decision that it’s finally time to talk to Bradley. With the semester ending, he makes his way up to the man’s room. With a knock, he can hear shuffling coming from inside before the familiar voice says “yes, coming,” before opening it. The pale eyes find their way to the hazel brown ones.

 

“You ready to talk baby?” His accent is deep as he leans against the door frame.

 

“How’s breakfast sound?” Bradley replies, signifying he is.

 

They make their way to the only restaurant Bradley will eat breakfast at. Both of them order as soon as they are given a table, drinks being set down right after. As they wait the younger initiates the conversation.

“What is it exactly that you want to talk about, Tank?” he folds his hands together, looking down at them.

 

“Well let me start off by saying you’re still technically the president,” he takes a gulp of his orange juice. “So basically, you’re still the face of the Gamma Mu Mu Fraternity. I’ll talk to the guys about respecting you more. Seems to me they’re hold’n a grudge I should be hold’n.”

 

The other nods, listening to every word. “Thank you, did you have any ideas for a theme?” Tank’s last sentence finally clicks. “Wait, you don’t hold a grudge against me?”

 

“I’d be pretty petty if I still hated your guts after almost killing you back.” he belly laughs. “Just think of it like an intense brother fight.”

 

“Right..” Unsure of what he’s supposed to say to that, Bradley stays quiet.

 

Noticing the unusual quietness, Tank continues. “Look baby, that month you were gone gave me enough time to think everything over. I’m not mad at you, but we got this uncomfortable tension around us. Let’s squash it, alright.”

 

“That’s easier said than done,” he realizes he came off too harsh and clears his throat. “But, I agree with you.”

 

The rest of their time is spent eating, discussing fraternity business, and learning more about the other. Bradley feels a sense of relief the more he talks to Tank. They’re slowly rebuilding their relationship, reminding him of who he used to be.

 

‘I’m not like my father, so stop acting like him,’ he tells himself, listening to the nonsense the bigger man spills.

 

–

 

“So, what’s up with Bradley suddenly joining us?” PJ asks playing a game with Max

 

“I let him borrow my notes, we talked, he wanted to do the right thing and make friends,” he shrugs, too focused on the game.

 

“Classic Max, turning foes to friends,” Bobby joins the conversation, preparing a nose piercing for himself. “That’s like, total respect.”

 

“You really think he has a change of heart and wants to hang with us? Oh c’mon I was so close to beating you.” he groans, laying back to watch the other pierce his own nose.

 

“You’ll get me next time Peej,” also wanting to watch, he leans against the dresser holding the chunky TV. “I think there’s a good person in him,” thinking about that Monday makes him chuckle quietly. “I think he’s just a little misunderstood. Might have.. mood swings, but besides that I’m sure he’s chill like last night.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it Max,” is all the other could say.

 

Everyone goes silent for Bobby, the background music the only source of sound. He pierces his left nostril, sticking a gold stud in to match his earring. “Let’s gooooo! It ain’t hurt one bit. Anyone else want a piercing while I’m all set up?” 

 

“I’m good man,” PJ rejects. The previous conversation now abandoned.

 

“Should I get another eyebrow piercing?” Max ponders. Bobby has done most of his piercings for a small fee of cheddar whiz.

 

“Hell yeah! I got the barbell for it,” he starts cleaning his set up again. “Is it gonna be the right this time?”

 

“Nah, I want the left to be doubled,” the pierced guy stretches, standing up. 

 

“Right next to the first? I got you.” Once his station (his dresser in front of a mirror) was set up for Max, he pats the bed. Soon enough there’s another eyebrow piercing on his face.

 

Not many people notice his new piercing, but Bradley does. He spots the trio at the skate park walking back with Tank. He figures he should say hi, since he’s trying to be a better person. The bigger guy follows his pursuit, confused.

 

“Hey Brad man, you come to join us?” Bobby is the first to notice, already gliding his way over. “And you brought the Tank!”

 

“That supposed to be a nickname sweetheart?” An eyebrow is raised as he peers down at him.

 

“More of an honorific if you ask me. It has a nice ring to it, ain’t it? The Tank, the one and only!” He completes his words with hand movement.

 

The brunet is agitated just by the unpredictability of the skater. Looking past Bobby, he watches the other two walk over.

 

“Me and Tank were just walking by, and I happened to see the three of you, that’s all.” he defends himself not knowing why.

 

“Really?” Max smiles. “You thought of us, how considerate.” He puts a hand on top of where his heart is, making a teasing face. Paying close attention to the details on his face, Bradley spots how the left eyebrow looks more red than usual, finally realizing the new piercing.

 

“I didn’t know it was a big deal,” the slender figure mutters, crossing his arms and looking away. Unfortunately for him everyone heard. Tank only watches in confusion and amusement.

 

“Dude, this is like, a huge deal,” PJ finally pitches in. “It shows that maybe you do wanna hang with us.”

 

“Woah, hold it,” Tank finally interjects after a few minutes of the trio teasing Bradley and him not denying what they're saying even so he’s defending himself as if the claims were wrong. “So, have you been hanging out with the goof and his friends or not?”

 

“No,” is what he mumbles.

 

“Yes,” is what the trio say.

 

“We hung out once,” he excuses.

 

“You enjoyed yourself that much that it made you want to talk to us now,” PJ argues.

 

“C’mon Brad,” Bobby puts an arm around his neck. He counts that as the fourth time he’s done that in the past 24 hours. “There’s no shame in admitting your undying love for the bros.”

 

“I don’t love you guys,” he feels embarrassed, especially when he looks up to see Max holding a teasing smirk. Diverting his eyes to somewhere else, he notices the shine on Bobby’s nose. Taking the chance to change topics, he clears his throat. “You pierced your nose.”

 

With the mention, Bobby finally lets go of the older. “Woah, you noticed.”

 

“It’d be hard not to when you’re in my face.” Thinking that his words were rude, he tries again. “I’m.. also a very observant person. I saw that Max has another eyebrow piercing. Did.. you guys go together?”

 

“Wow, you really are observant,” Max nods in approval. “Bobby did it.” Seeing the puzzlement plastered on both faces, he chuckles. “Bobby knows how to pierce.”

 

“Hell yea I do, if y’all want one, you know who to call.” The buzzed cut makes a call motion with his hand.

 

“I don’t think I’d trust you to pierce anything on me,” Bradley bluntly responds.

 

“I’ll take that offer soon,” Tank says, handing him a flip phone. “Tell me a price and I’ll get back to ya baby.”

 

“A can of cheddar whiz and a few spare bucks is the price for a single piercing,” he quotes putting his number into the phone.

 

“Sweet. I’m gonna head off now, talk later Brad,” the other ginger waves, leaving his frat brother with the group.

 

“Speaking of numbers,” PJ starts, “shouldn’t we give each other ours, if we’re gonna hang out more?”

 

“You’re absolutely right Peej,” Max nods, taking his old phone out. “Just give me your number Brad, I’ll give it to the others.”

 

After exchanging numbers, the trio resumes skating while Bradley watches. They often shout out to him asking how cool their tricks were. Eventually Max convinces him to hop on his board. Once he did, it took a while of getting used to, but he made no mistakes after. The three watch with marvel, cheering for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 25: 22-Sunflower

Notes:

Y'all I hella forgot to post I'm sorry!

Here it is before it turns midnight lol

Song- Sunflower by Rex Orange County

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7h2nmmoWDi2UpfYKLKWLYB?si=deb2db4209064f14

Youtube: https://youtu.be/V0X-SWiDr1g?si=AMsb3tuO61ZJXH6-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the end of the semester nears, Bradley spends more time with Max and his friends. He genuinely enjoys the company he never knew he’d be around. Oftentimes they invite the brunet over to Mocha’s to watch them practice, just like today.

 

“So frats are allowed to stay during the summer?” PJ makes conversation during their break.

 

“Yea, we do summer events and volunteer, things like that,” Bradley answers. “Will you guys be going back home?” The question leaves him with bitterness. His many years here, the man has never considered going home to stay unless it was needed, such as his sister’s upcoming birthday party. 

 

“We actually found a place out here,” Max hums. “None of us really want to go home.”

 

“Plus, The Goof Troop got fans!” Bobby pipes in. “The Bean Scene was where we started, but now we got a whole city to play for!”

 

“Over exaggerating a bit Bobby,” the chubby guy corrects. “My beautiful Mocha got us a few gigs at other places.”

 

“You’ll come watch us, won’t you, Brad?” the singer drags his name over the mic. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be more worried about how you’ll pay rent than if I’ll be there?” he rolls his eyes already knowing he’ll be waiting backstage to tell them they did ‘pretty good for rookies’.

 

“I am thinking about our rent, you being there helps pay! We get paid from admissions.” the younger sits next to him. “Besides you’re practically apart of the band, maybe you can be our “manager.””

 

“What an offer.” They both watch Bobby mess with PJ’s drums while the lover boy helps his girlfriend with lunch. “When’s your first gig?”

 

“It’s the 18th at the Parallel Arcade. The week after that we’ll be in Spoonerville though.” He speaks softly so only Bradley can hear.

 

“Any reason why?” curiosity strikes him wondering what a place such as ‘Spoonerville’ would look like.

 

Max seems to take heed of it. “Yea, it’s my old man’s birthday, thought I could be a good son and throw him a little party. The band will be playing all his favorites, or at least the ones we can play to.”

 

The even-tempered only nods, noting that Goofy’s birthday is 5 days after his oldest sisters.

 

“Y’know, if you want, you can join us.” the goof finally offers.

 

“I don’t know Max, last time I saw your father, he threw a horseshoe at me to protect you. I doubt he’d be pleased to see me on his birthday.”

 

“He might be cautious with you, around me specifically,” he mumbles the second part, already feeling embarrassment. “But if you apologize, he’ll warm up quickly. Where do you think I get this kind personality from?”

 

After a long thought he accepts the invite. “Sure, I’d love to go then. It beats being at home longer than I need to be.”

 

“You’re going home? I thought you said you didn’t have to,” Just then Bradley hears worry in his voice.

 

“I don’t have to, but my sister’s birthday is the 20th, I can’t miss that.” Awkwardness sets in. For the past weeks, both boys have avoided talking about anything that would bring up the journal, and now they are stuck in this situation. Looking up to make sure no one can hear, Bradley reassures Max. “I’ll be fine, I’m leaving the Friday before and I’ll come back on the 23rd. Five days with my family is nothing, we’ll all be too busy for each other anyways.”

 

“Can I ask if your dad knows about-” 

 

“No, he doesn’t know about the X-Games and the disaster I caused. My siblings made sure of it.” he finishes the younger’s question with an answer. “If he knew, I probably would have been a dead man..”

 

The two of them sit, watching Bobby, who is now using the drums to roll a blunt. There’s many thoughts running through both of their minds, both afraid of the outcomes that could come from it.

 

“Have you written anything else since?” Max settles on. The question itself isn’t too personal, but it’s just enough to keep conversation.

 

“Just once,” Bradley snickers, recalling what he wrote.

 

“...Can I read it?” the lightskin nudges him, initializes that the question was more of a joke.

 

The joke seems to work since the fair skinned smiles a bit. “Would it even matter, you lived through pretty much all I wrote.”

 

“Fair point. But I don’t mind listening to what’s troubling you. Just wanted to let you know.” He places his hand on his shoulder.

 

All the other could muster is a small “yeah.” Having Max’s hand rest on his shoulder gives him mixed emotions. He still doesn’t understand why he wants him to hang out, or why he wants to know how he’s doing. His heart beats an unforgiving rhythm while his brain runs into a frenzy. His eyes sting, though he knows he won’t cry.

 

As if someone was listening to his silent pleas, the couple comes back out with an assortment of foods. PJ starts getting on Bobby about using his drum set as a weed tray the instant he notices. Max gets up to help unfold tables for the food. Bradley asks what he can do to help and Mocha insists that he grab the drinks out of the garage’s fridge.

 

–

“C’mon Brad, just let me turn you into me,” Max persists, digging through his clothes.

 

“What good will it do?” rolling his eyes, Bradley sits on his bed. When he announced that the three of them were going to move in together, the older half expected a studio. To his surprise, the house they rent is a decent 3 bed, 2 bath, and it came furnished.

 

“For one, you’ll fit in a little more.” He sets out a white tank and green and black striped knitted jumper next to the man. “And I just wanna see how you’d look.”

 

“Shouldn’t you be finding clothes to wear for yourself?” He looks at the top in disgust. The younger throws washed wide-leg denim jeans at the pompous man, receiving a shout. 

 

“I already have my outfit ready, so why don’t you start changing while I get the accessories.” Max walks towards a dresser where he keeps all his belts and jewelry.

 

“Fine,” Bradley caves in watching the other. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious how the goof would style him. Although feeling a little bashful to dress in front of the other man, he does so anyway, stripping down to his boxers. When he slides the jeans on, they slide down. “Do these pants even fit you?”

 

“They fit loose on me, here.” He hands him a star belt and looks at his figure. “Make sure to tuck in the tank top.”

 

“Can you not look at me like that.” Securing the pants with the belt, he shuffles to put on the tank, following his orders.

 

“Sorry, just thinking you’d look good in a corset, and a crop top,” the shorter comments, laying the accessories out. “Your waist would complement the clothing.”

 

Bradley feels his face heat up, putting the last clothing on. “That’s weird to say.”

 

“Just take the damn compliment and say thank you.” Rolling his eyes, he shows him how to put the belt chains on, then lets him put on the multiple rings, bracelets, and necklaces. “Take your watch off.”

 

“I’m not taking my watch off.” He slides his adidas back on. Luckily they’re black with white accents. He goes to look in the mirror, half entertained to see how he looks. 

 

“All you need to do is mess your hair up, I won’t torture you with eye liner.” Max instructs, taking both his shirt and tank top off. 

 

“What makes you think I can’t handle eyeliner?” He notices the tattoo plastered on the lightskins chest, instinctively turning around to look at it more. It’s a small moth in the middle of his chest. “When did you get that?”

 

“My 18th birthday. The second it turned midnight, me and the boys went out to a tattoo shop. Got this done and a few piercings.” He replies, putting on a black sleeveless crop top with a rib cage design. Matching the crop top, he also wears a sleeveless, cropped leather jacket.

 

“I thought you had Bobby do your piercings.”

 

“Even Bobby wouldn’t trust himself to pierce what I had pierced.” The other remembers that he is only in his underwear so he turns back around to look at the mirror.

 

“What did you get pierced?” He figures he should listen and ruins his perfectly styled hair, creating a messy look.

 

“My dick,” he says it so casually as he slides into low waisted pants that are decorated with black chains (kind of) and a biotech symbol etched on both of the bottom sides. He ties the drawstring waistband and looks up to see the horror on Bradley’s face.

 

“You pierced what?” His voice is louder than usual, genuinely concerned how someone could do that. However, thinking about it only makes his face red.

 

Max laughs, “yea, it was honestly the most painful, since it was multiple.” He lays waist chains just above the pants, making sure not to cover his hip piercings. He then turns around to put on ripped fishnets as fingerless gloves and layers his jewelry.

 

“Oh.. what the hell,” the now grungy Bradley holds a hand to his burning face, shivering at the thought. His brain tries to imagine what it would look like, although he tries not to. Changing the subject he looks at the jewelry that pierce his hips. “So.. who did those, on the stomach?”

 

“One by Bobby, the other by a pro. I didn’t want to pay for both so Bobby watched how the piercer did the left and when we got to his house, he did the other side.”

 

“You guys trust each other, a lot,” he finally moves his hand away from his face, hugging himself.

 

“Yeah, we were also stupid teens. Do you still want to put eyeliner on?” Max holds to make up pencils. 

 

With a nod, Bradley joins his side, watching how the other applies before doing it himself. While the shorter smudges the black around his eyes, the taller leaves his eyes as is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: The outfits for the ch (¬‿¬)

 

Chapter 26: Break

 

Hey guys it's me again! 

 

I decided that last Saturday will be the last update until October. 

 

I will no longer be uploading on Thursday's so I can focus on college life.

The only reason I'm not uploading this and next Saturday is because this week I have something going on and next week I'll be visiting my mom for her birthday. 

This little break will give me time to focus on academics and personal life (and to write more chapters and decide songs for titles!)

I'm still not sure if I want to change my uploads to Sundays or keep them on Saturdays, but you'll find out when the next chapter comes out huh lol

 

Finally, for the 9876543777235678 time, thank you everyone so much for reading Dear Journal.

 I always thought the way I wrote wasn't that good despite loving writing. 

This story is truly the first of its kind that WILL have an ending, and who knows, I might write more fanfics, or maybe I'll write an original short story.

 

See you all in like 2 weeks. Be safe and motivated!

 

 

Chapter 27: 23-Going Dumb

Notes:

Heyyyyy! It feels so good to be back ! Thank you all for being so patient with me!

During my break, I did not write that much. But a few days ago I was actually able to just sit down and write, and that made me feel so good. I ended up writing 2 and a half chapters.

I think I can have a balance between college and this fanfic. I think I really just needed that little break.

I wanted to bring up donations, since I am a broke college student 😭.

If I was to create some kind of donation thing (or just give my Cash App), would anyone actually donate? It's not obligated of course, but it's something I want to try out.

I also want to create a discord server for all my fans! I might not be active as much, but it'd be really amazing if my fans all connected with each other! I'll let y'all know when I make that server (I'm not good with Discord)

OK let's get back to the story!

 

Song- Going Dumb by Alesso ft. Stray Kids and CORSAK

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3Ea1CNsTqBY4RtAESrBeNI?si=67244c1ea93f464f

Youtube: https://youtu.be/2jjcuRckOJc?si=SYfRHsSGKyoViWPW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A knock on Bradley’s sliding door disrupts his packing. When he looks over to see Max, he sighs, the small scare leaving his body.

 

“What are you doing here?” he queries as he opens the glass door.

 

“You said you’re leaving today, so I wanted to bug you.” His smile shows his gapped teeth.

 

“Don’t bother me too much, I’ll be leaving in three hours.” checking his watch, he continues to pack clothes.

 

“Packing a suitcase shouldn’t take that long. I also wanted to help you pack for Spoonerville since we’re leaving the 24th.” Max sets his backpack down and plops on the neat bed.

 

The bed’s owner scowls at him before walking towards his closet. “Get your ass up and pick out my clothes then, I don’t want to pack the wrong things.”

 

“Yessir!” Instantaneously, Max pulls an outfit out of his bag and heads over to the same closet. “I already have an outfit ready for the birthday, you can’t chicken out.”

 

“Course you do,” Rolling his eyes, he makes his way to his bathroom. 

 

Finding clothes for the other to wear was easy for the skater. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was a casual shirt and a pair of jeans, or shorts. They were also only staying until Saturday, so only two more outfits were needed. This time instead of sprawling on the bed, he sits on the edge next to the clothes he picked out.

 

Waiting for Bradley to finish, Max takes the chance to look around his room. It’s well kept just like Bradley himself. There’s not much on his wall, except the few certificates he had received from different occasions. The one thing that sticks out is a coffin shaped poster. On the top it has ‘bauhaus’ and near the bottom it writes ‘The Resurrection Tour, August 29 at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica.’ Intrigued, he walks over to look over the details more.

 

“Okay, I finished packing.” The blues eyes find Max hovering over his poster. “Oh, don’t touch that. It’s one of a kind.”

 

“What is bauhaus?” he asks, vaguely remembering them mentioned in the journal

 

“A band, they broke up in ‘83, but reunited two years ago. Got to see them in Cleveland. Bought the tour shirt too,” Before giving the other a chance to respond, he continues. “I asked an illustrator to create this for me since I knew he was making posters for their September 20th show.” 

 

“They must be your favorite artist.” He nods, “I didn’t think you digged this kind of stuff, but now you listening to all these college bands with sick taste makes sense.” 

 

“Yea, they are, and my favorite genres are goth and pop since you’re so curious.” Shaking his head, he makes his way to his bed to put the prepared clothes in a duffel bag.

 

“The pop makes sense, I would have never guessed goth though.” As he follows Bradley, he sits on the floor, his bag next to him.

 

“I can’t help but feel as if you’re judging me,” looking down at the other, he sits on the floor to face him. “Why are you here, freshman?”

 

“I’m not judging and I’m technically not a freshman,” he pierces his lips, the hoops of his snake bites folding to the side.

 

As if reading his mind, he sighs, rubbing his temple. “Is this about the journal again?” When he receives a nod, he opens up. “I don’t need you to “worry” about me, I’m older than you and know how to care for myself.” His deep voice is nothing but blunt, with a side of annoyance.

 

“I never meant it like that Brad,” Max tilts his head to the side. Trying to figure out a way where Bradley won’t go off on him is difficult. Nonetheless, he persists. “I just- let’s not talk about your family. I wanted to give you some things.”

 

“Give me what exactly?” one of his eyebrows quirk up.

 

“It’s stupid but,” as he pulls out a small notepad, he explains. “I obviously know you’re running out of space to write, and if I were you, I wouldn’t want to bring the journal with me. So.. here, it’s smaller and easier to hide.” He holds it out.

 

His blue eyes narrow, his face difficult to read. “What else did you bring?”

 

Awkwardly, he sets the notepad down. “Well the next things depend on something.”

 

“Depend on what Max?” his voice raises a bit.

 

“Do you still have that cassette player?” It’s silent between the both of them. The mention of the object reminds Bradley of things he wishes he would forget. “I’m sorry, but I wanted to give you these mixtapes. They’re the songs that the band has played that you said you liked.” Taking out about 4 tapes, Max sets them down next to the book. He also pulls out a black bracelet with stars. “The last thing is this bracelet. It looked good on you last night, and I don’t really need this one since I have the red one.” 

 

The older man looks down at the items. He wants to be mad at Max, but he knows his intentions are genuine. It hurts his heart to see someone care for him the way he does. It confuses him more since all they are to each other is friends. It makes him think if they could be more than that, however, he quickly shoves the thought away.

 

“If you have nothing else to say, you can leave.” He chooses to project to protect his own feelings.

 

“Sure, that seems like the best,” he speaks standing up. “I’ll see you when you come back then.” Throwing his bag onto his back, he leaves via tree.

 

With another sigh, Bradley hides his face in his hands. He hears Tank talk through the door, but he doesn’t respond, prompting the man to leave. The Gammas are also leaving to see their families for a few weeks. When he returns, he’ll be alone for a few days.

 

Looking back at the objects on the floor, the drained man pulls a shoebox from under his bed. He opens it to find his cassette player along with the many tapes. On the side is a neatly folded shirt and other small things from his past he’s hidden. Initially, he was planning to throw this box away due to the memories, but he was too attached to do so. In the end, he’s stored it away hoping that one day he’ll get over it.

 

Taking the cassette player out, he sets it next to Max’s gifts. After finding headphones, he goes to find a bag to store the device and everything that goes with it. He picks up the rest of the thing, attention now on the star bracelet while he hides the notepad in his back pocket. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that these bracelets were for couples. Choosing not to put it on, he shoves it into the Spoonerville duffel bag, knowing he can wear it then.

 

Checking his watch, Bradley still has plenty of time after loading his car. When he goes back to his room, he picks up a pen. He finally chooses to look at the small book. It was a cheap and spiral bind, the color red, and had the word memo on the front. Sitting on his bed, he makes the decision to write his initials on the back of the cover.

 

On the first page, he writes the date: ‘05/19/2000’

 

‘Dear Max,

You're impossible to figure out. I’ll never say it to your face but.. Thank you. You are so kind to me and I still push you away. How can someone stay around a person like me?

Besides that, I feel as if I should use this to write to you. I fear that you’ll eventually see this anyways, however.. perhaps it won’t be so bad. For you to read it I mean.

You made me pull out my player. While I’m on the road for a few hours, I look forward to listening to the tapes you made for me. They better not disappoint.

That bracelet, I want to know your true intentions. I did like wearing it, but how did you know that? Seeing the same bracelet on you in a different color last night was.. That doesn’t matter. 

I’ll try to write every day.’

Chapter 28: 24-Rhinestone Eyes

Summary:

https://discord.gg/HZJtVmUc

Notes:

HI!

To be honest I think this story is more heartwarming than angst. I apologize for the lack of angst anyways but enjoy the heartwarming-ness!

 

Discord server is up and running! https://discord.gg/HZJtVmUc

Song- Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1foMv2HQwfQ2vntFf9HFeG?si=7d55a01bd4254a2c

Youtube: https://youtu.be/7GdsftXc0yU?si=OFxvXNdzRqmUfXk3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Upon arriving to Goldenfield, Bradley stops at a nearby gas station. While he fills his car up, he collects all the cassette tapes, storing them with his cassette player in his bag. He buys a granola bar and an energy drink to hold him until he gets to the Uppercrust Estate.

 

When the solemn man approaches the gates to his family's house, the gatekeepers automatically recognize his car, opening the gold iron doors. Driving down the path, he is finally in view of both of his sister’s cars.

 

The older sister drives a newer Porsche Boxster model. The other a 90s Mercedes-Benz S-Class. Bradley on the other hand, preferred to get an original 1989 Land Rover Discovery, in which he still has. Each one of their vehicles are well maintenance, The eldest included (with his ‘99 Cadillac Escalade.) Ironic enough, each one of their car choices adds to their personality. 

 

Getting out of his car, the tall figure throws his bag over his shoulder. A maid meets him at his car to receive his suitcase. After thanking her, he makes way to the entrance. With a sharp inhale, he walks in, a clear path to his father’s study. He’s not ready to face the old man, but the longer he waits will only lead to his frustration. Standing in front of the doors he prays to never meet again, he knocks three times, then waits for an answer. 

 

“You may enter,” a low, deep voice from inside permits. 

 

After receiving permission, he steps into the room. Right away, the young man notices the bottle of bourbon. Deja vu hits, seeing how the man sitting in his chair is facing the window, a cigar lit in between his fingers. Mustering up the courage, Bradley greets his father, to which the broad man turns his chair.

 

“Bradley.” lifting the cigar to his lips, he inhales, then exhales after a moment. “Come take a seat, and pour us a glass,” he commands. 

 

Listening to his father's words, he pours two rocks glasses halfway with the bourbon, handing one to his father, before taking a seat. “How has the company been?” he tries, knowing the question could go sideways.

 

“Business has been swell as always,” The gruff voice replies, setting his cigar on an ashtray. “Robin is doing an excellent job taking my advice and creating gains. Soon he’ll be the one to own the entire company.”

 

“That’s sublime, as usual, I should say congrats for the latest investment,” he nods, reading his father’s expressions. It’s too early to tell, but there is no sign that he knows even the slightest of details that took place three months ago.

 

“Enough about the company. How is college, I presume you’re still on track to graduating, correct?” Folding his arms, the aged man stares at his son. His eyes only remind Bradley of himself, yet colder.

 

“Yes, I’ll be graduating next year. I am preparing for law school for once I graduate as well,” he informs. He finally is able to tell that the man has no clue of what had happened to him, making him less tense.

“Very well son,” he approves, picking up his untouched glass. “Shall we drink on it then?”

 

“Yes,” As he does the same, their glasses clink together. Swallowing the alcohol as if it was a shot, both men set their now empty glasses down.

 

“I will see you during dinner then.” dismissing Bradley, he stands up and heads to his room.

 

Before he can reach his room however, he hears the voices of his sisters. Walking towards them, he stops in his tracks when his mother joins in. He can see them talking in the lounge room, but he’s not yet ready to see his mother. He turns around to continue his first task. 

 

Unfortunately for him, Alina notices him walking away. “Bradley? Is that you?”

 

Stopping, he faces the lounge room again. This time all eyes are on him.

 

“Hello Alina, I was just on my way to my room,” he gives them a smile. “How was the trip here for you two?”

 

“It was only 30 minutes down, a speedy trip as always.” the oldest responds.

 

“Yeah it wasn’t a very distant trip for me as well, but I enjoyed it.” Briar chimes in. “You have to drive the farthest, though. How was your trip?”

 

“It was a calming trip, I always appreciate the scenic route on the way here.” His eyes drift off to his mother. “How have you been, mother?”

 

“Alive and well,” is the only answer the pristine woman gives him. “You must be exhausted from your travels, why don’t you head up and rest.” The sentence might sound as if it should be said with care, but there’s a certain tone in the mother’s voice that says otherwise.

 

Acknowledging how quickly she wanted him gone, his smile is a little more painful to keep. “Of course, I’ll see you all for dinner. Enjoy your conversation.”

 

Bradley quickly makes way to his room, wanting nothing but to be alone for now. Softly closing his door (and locking it), he leans against it. Trying to ground himself, he shuts his eyes tightly only taking deep breaths. After recollecting himself, the now self-possessed man lays on the neatly made bed. 

 

“It’s just a few days.. I’ll be fine,” he tells himself, already tired of being in the Uppercrust Manor. Digging into his bag he takes out the cassette’s case and plugs in the headphones to the player. Shoving one bud in, he hits the play button. All Bradley can do is feel the rhythm of each song, appreciating the lyrics until he is eventually called to dinner.

 

“...Remember, everything has to be perfect tomorrow,” Alina stresses for the 8th time during dinner. Bradley spaced much of what she is saying.

 

“Don’t you worry dear, it will be your day. Nothing ever goes wrong on your day,” Robert mentions before eating the piece of steak off his fork.

 

“You’re right daddy, I just can’t help it though,” the oldest daughter sighs, her wine glass in hand as she sips.

 

“Then let’s talk about something else to get your mind off of it,” the father suggests, clearly hinting he’s over the discussion.

 

“Alina dear, when are you planning on having a baby?” Adeline asks, finding the opportunity to bring herself into a conversation.

 

“Hopefully soon. Business has been less stressful and my hubby has been talking about taking a little vacation,” Her smile is boastful, looking at her ring finger.

 

“That will be good, since Robin is expecting another,” the mother is being logical. “Speaking of husbands, Briar, when will you and your fiance finally have the wedding?”

 

Now it was her turn to speak. “We’re still discussing dates and venues,” the other daughter says, setting her fork down. “I think we’ll be having a spring wedding.”

 

“I hope you two don’t put it off again, neither of you are getting any younger after all.” she mentions, with clear intentions. 

 

“I know, don’t worry mom,” she gives a reassuring smile.

 

Bradley knows what is coming next. The only time he is ever brought into a conversation with his mother, it’s kept short, and about the same few things. A relationship is one of those things. 

 

“And.. Bradley. Still no woman in your life?” She says it with such disappointment in her tone. The only thing she expects from her youngest son is to get married and have kids, just like the rest of her kids.

 

“No,” he swallows the lump forming in his throat. “I’m focusing on my degrees..” It’s the same thing he’s always told everyone at this table. He rather focus on securing his career before being tied to another. While it is the truth, Bradley knows there’s deeper meaning to it. When he looks at Briar, he senses that she might know too.

 

The mother only hums in response, ending any further conversation with her last child. The brunet looks down, disappointing his mother yet again.

 

Conversation between everyone continues throughout the remainder of dinner. Bradley mainly listens to what is being said, talking when he is personally talked to. When everyone is excused from the table, he takes a clear path to his room. After washing up, he takes out the small notepad. Opening to the first page again, he writes a few lines under what was previously written from today.

 

‘Max,

I already wish I could leave. I just might cut my visit short.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 29: 25-Stars

Notes:

Hi guys! I know I usually try to post earlier, but I was visiting my family and had to do some assignments once I got back to my place!

I wanted to mention that I do have a discord server now, if anyone wants to join, here's the link!
https://discord.gg/amncBt3v

Song- Stars by Simply Red

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5QJSD5GQOq72OmwLV5IHUV?si=0e4fe5c20e014873

Youtube: https://youtu.be/PTwg2jhqcHE?si=-uRvquycO9FxZVOo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Robert had said last night, nothing bad has happened so far for the birthday party. Bradley had woken up early listening to servants set up the manor's parlor. The one mistake he did make was when he decided to walk out of his room. As if knowing, Alina called for him instantly.

 

The whole morning, his oldest sister had him running errands with her, carrying whatever she bought. As a thank you, she bought him an outfit she quoted, “would fit well with tonight's celebration.” So that is what he will wear tonight.

 

–

“Mind if I join you?” Robin walks towards his brother, a champagne glass in hand. 

 

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Bradley shuffles to the side, giving room for the other to lean against the secluded wall.

 

For a minute, the boys only stand without talking, watching the people network with each other. In the distance, you can hear Alina asking if anyone has seen the older man, resulting in a quiet chuckle from the younger.

 

“She wants to talk about “setting the mood” and I already told her to ask Nat,” he grumbles. “What makes her think I want to talk to her about getting pregnant.”

 

“Mother made a comment about you and Natasha expecting another child,” he fills the other in on last night’s discussions. 

 

“That explains it then.” He guzzles the rest of his drink down.

 

“At least you didn’t have to listen to her talk about it all morning,” Bradley groans, swirling the bubbly substance in his glass around.

 

The topic changes quickly for they both fear the woman would pop up and scold them. “You haven’t been causing trouble anymore have you?”

 

“No.. With sports out of the equation, I have more free time that I don’t know what to do with,” it’s a bitter remark that screams youngest child behavior.

 

“You know it wasn’t me who banned you Brad.”

 

“I know, I’m just.. mad at myself. I did things I’m not proud of and now I’m dealing with the consequences.” If he could, he would cross his arms.

 

“Glad to see you learning from your mistakes,” Robin takes a step forward. “How about you turn in for the night, I’ll let Alina know, so she doesn’t cause a little scene.” 

 

Before Bradley can respond, he walks away. “...Thanks.”

 

Listening to his brother's advice, the brunet finds himself outside in the garden. He didn’t want to socialize any longer, but he didn’t want to stay cooped up in his forsaken room. After walking for some minutes, the man finds himself looking at a fountain. Wanting a break, he sits on the edge, listening to its water flow.

 

The garden is one of the few places within the manor that Bradley would go to get away. Hardly anyone ever goes into the garden, creating a serene scene just outside in the backyard. Breathing in the scents of many kinds of floral, it helps the young man appreciate the spring breeze. Of course, it wouldn’t be a night at the Uppercrust manor without a one on one with each of his siblings.

 

“I know you’re there, Bri,” he hums leaning back.

 

“I was going to leave, but since you said something, mind if I join you?” Briar’s voice is behind him, sitting on the other side of the fountain.

 

“You don’t have to ask,” he waves his hand looking at the crescent moon. Quietly, she joins him by his side and looks up at the starry night. It’s a pleasant stillness between the two before the younger speaks again. “I know you’re going to ask and.. I’m alright really.”

 

“I’m always here if you want to talk either way,” she takes her glasses off with a bittersweet smile. “No matter what you do I’ll be there for you, Braddles.”

 

“Even if I murdered someone?” The boy looks at his sister, his blunt tone sounding harsher than intended.

 

“That’s a different story, and you know it,” she shakes her head. “I’m assuming you’re leaving tomorrow with a great excuse.”

 

With a lighthearted chuckle, he asks, “What gave me up?”

 

“I know my little brother well, that’s all.” Ruffling her hair, she stands. “If you want, you can spend the night at my place.”

 

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” What he really wanted to tell Briar is that she didn’t know him well enough. There was no need to concern her more, so he let her go on with the party. And he walks the lonely halls to his room.

 

He kept almost everything in his suitcase, giving him minimal items to pack. When he finishes arranging his belongings, he pulls out his cassette player, leaving the headphones in the case. There is one tape he hasn’t listened to yet and the little boy in him only wants it destroyed. Grabbing it, he finally has the courage to play it. As he sits down writing in his ‘Max-pad,’ he reminisces about the past.

 

The young Bradley thanks Briar for dropping him and his boyfriend off downtown. Their outfits are vaguely matching, but not enough to cause suspicion. 

 

“I’ll be around, remember to be back around 5,” The young woman reminds, in which her brother nods.

 

“So where should we go first?” The boyfriend smiles looking around.

 

“How about lunch?” the younger suggests, already walking towards a diner.

 

After a couple of hours, they find themselves at the very music store where Bradley made the mixtape present. Goofing around, they finally settle on going to the mixtape section. There, they spend the rest of their time making a pair of mixtapes with the same exact songs. The two lovers name their mixtapes something corny and pay for them. 

 

On the ride back to drop the older man off, they exchange mixtapes, laughing at the stupid names that were written on them. The only one to witness their love and happiness is driving.

 

Bradley wrote ‘For the damned smile that makes me weak to the knees~ My Buttercup’  

 

The boyfriend wrote ‘For the damned eyes that only look at me with affection~ My Honey Pot’

 

“Honey Pot?” Bradley jokes.

 

“That’s what you are my dear,” he gives the smile he only shows his lover.

 

“And that’s precisely why you’re a buttercup,” he rolls his eyes, hand reaching to hold his.

 

The brunet sighs hearing the song they claimed to be theirs. Turning another page, he writes another thought down.

 

‘Max,

This is really all your fault. I was doing just fine and then you had to bring me stupid mixtapes… As you already know, I had such good memories with him that it eats me knowing what happened to us. For so long I’ve done my best forgetting about what I used to have. And now it’s like every other thing reminds me of him. I don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish.. But just know it won’t work. I hope you’re happy now because this is the last of this notepad.’

 

Closing the small book, he tosses it to the side. He puts the cassette player back in the case and shoves it into his backpack. Looking around the plain bedroom, Bradley thinks about how it looks as if he’s never even existed in this place. He lays down in the bed, falling asleep all the same.

 

 

 

A/N: Here is Bradley's Outfit btw! Just a generic photo this time

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

P.S: I chose Stars for today's chapter song because I mentioned Bradley and his ex having a song they dedicated to each other and that song felt perfect

Chapter 30: 26-It's Called: Freefall

Notes:

heyyy sorry for another late update. I went home again and had a busy day and ofc had to do hw before I could post.

I loki was going to put "sorry no chapter today" but was like bruhh just choose a song and upload a chapter neow. so here it is!

I'm loki tired so I'll check notifs tuesday.

Song- It's Called: Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/474uVhyGgK5MtY9gMcDgGl?si=6f5da06717b94743

Youtube: https://youtu.be/U2WDdccgaDY?si=G-lMRroWG8JyTWA4

 

p.s: ignore the errors if any, I'm too tired to make corrections, feel free to point them out tho cause I'll probably make the corrections Tuesday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bradley wakes up early, startling the maids. They insist on taking his luggage to the car and having him stay just until breakfast. Quickly declining, the youngest Uppercrust instructs one of the workers to inform the family that he has to deal with Gamma conflict. Shortly after, he’s in his car and drives off, listening to the radio.

 

After a 3 and a half hour drive, he finally makes it to the Gamma house. Lucky for him, everyone went home, or left wherever they were going, giving him the entire place to himself for a while. He doesn’t mind the quiet, but for some reason it feels unsettling. The man was considering stopping by the goof's place, but quickly decided against it knowing they’re probably still asleep, regardless of it being 8- almost 9- in the morning. 

 

Bradley walks up the stairs, suitcase in hand, then unpacks. Despite feeling uncertain of what to do next, he cleans his already clean room. Once satisfied, he moves to the lounge room, and starts cleaning from there. When Bradley starts cleaning, he can’t stop until everything is clean. It takes him about three hours to clean the game room, kitchens, and bathrooms. Feeling dirty himself, he takes a warm shower.

 

No matter what the pompous man does, he can’t shake off this unnerving feeling. The aloneness that he’s grown used to, seems too.. lonely for him now. The thought alone irks him, anger only rising once more. But when he catches a glimpse of the duffle bag, the wrath inside of him subsides for a moment. Recalling Friday’s interaction with Max, Bradley decides to take the bracelet out. Just then it clicks: He’s been spending too much time with that goof and his friends. 

 

“Max,” he groans, tension rising within himself. “Max.. Max fucking Goof. Of course. It’s always because of him. I hate him so much.”

 

–

 

Max jolts up from the sound of banging on the front door. Cursing under his breath, he hears one of his friends rushing to open the door. With a yawn, the well fitted man stretches, until the loud banging reaches his door.

 

“What the hell!” he whines, getting up to open the door. When he is faced with an irritated Bradley, he looks behind the older to see a confused PJ and a Bobby who also just woke up. “Uh.. Aren’t you supposed to be at your family’s?”

 

“I left early, is that a problem?” Pushing past him, Bradley makes himself home in Max’s room.

Making contact with his roommates yet again, they all shrug at each other before he closes his door. “It’s not a problem at all,” he puts his patchy hands up in an attempt to calm the other down. “But uh, did I do something wrong? People don’t usually bang on other’s doors, y'know.” Seeing the blue eyes glare at him, he shuts up and sits next to him.

 

“Just take this,” Bradley shoves the small book onto the younger's chest looking away. 

 

“The notepad?” Max catches sight of the black bracelet. “You’re wearing the bracelet I gave you.”

 

“So what? You gave it to me after all.”

 

“Dude, you seriously need to chill. What has you acting like.. a maniac?” He looks at the notebook.

 

“I’m not a maniac.” One swift look at the other, he stands up to catch him off guard. “Are you hungry? I can make breakfast- even though it’s noon. I’ll go ask the others.” 

 

The one with bed head only stares at the door, baffled at the older’s episode. Looking back at the notebook, he opens it. To his amusement he sees his name. Flipping through it, he notices Bradley started a few with his name, many don’t have a typical opening either. Leaving the mini journal on his bed, he walks out his room.

 

“Did you find breakfast food?” He calls out to Bradley as he makes his way to the small kitchen.

 

“How is bacon and eggs all you three have for breakfast?” The chef rolls his eyes, cracking eggs into a bowl.

 

“Hey, I’m pretty sure we have pancake mix,” he protests, looking for the box.

 

“Of course you would.” He lays the package of bacon on a baking tray. “PJ left, I don’t know where Bobby is.”

 

“I found it!” Setting the box down, Max hops onto an empty counter. “Bobby probably fell back asleep.”

 

Bradley decides premade batter is better than no pancakes, so he finds another bowl to pour the dry batter in. “How can you sleep so late into the day?”

 

“You’ve never slept in?” He tilts his head watching the older cook.

 

“The latest I’ve ever slept in was 10.” He begins to actually cook and conversation cuts loose for a moment.

 

Max notes how focused Bradley is. His outfit is very on point, the star bracelet being the only thing to stand out. “When did you leave? Did something happen?”

 

The older turns his head, his mind telling him how fine the younger looks sitting on the counter in his pajamas. Forcing himself to look away, he finally answers. “I left around 5:30 this morning, nothing happened, I chose not to stay and get off the counter.”

 

Obeying his words, he gets down and instead stands next to him. “You really are an early bird. What about the notepad? I didn’t read it yet, but why is it written to me?”

 

“Because you’re so fucking nosey that’s why.” Max doesn’t say much after that, allowing Bradley to reflect on his words. “Why don’t you wake Bobby and tell him to change out of his pajamas.. You need to change too.”

 

“Sure, if that helps you calm down.” The raven head walks to Bobby’s room, leaving the guy to cook in peace.

 

Bobby, Max, and Bradley all make their way to the Bean Scene to join PJ and Mocha. Upon arriving, they notice Mocha on stage sharing one of her many poems. The ginger left to join PJ while the pair goes to buy drinks.

 

“I was thinking,” the shorter starts.

 

“It seems you have been doing that more often,” the older interrupts, paying for the group's drinks.

 

“Ha, ha, very funny,” he rolls his eyes. “Since you’re here, how about leaving for Spoonerville sooner?”

 

“I don’t mind, don’t spill those drinks on me this time.” He walks towards their table with Max following behind.

 

“You’re just full of jokes today. But I’m sure you’ll enjoy- wait did you just say you don’t mind?”

 

Bradley shrugs and makes it to the table. “If everyone else wants to leave earlier, we can. I’m driving my own car however. I can’t trust Bobby for 45 minutes.”

 

The trio looks at the brunet, confused at the way he’s acting today. To say the least, it’s quite frightening seeing the rather perfectionist being this kind and considerate.

 

“More space for us then!” Bobby says, leaning back in his chair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 31: 27-Care

Notes:

Hi guys here is another episode of Dear Journal. Enjoy!

 

Song: Care by slchld

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0GSaudnPY62os1TmwQzVEA?si=f8945e82842a431f

Youtube: https://youtu.be/L0vswwRh7QU?si=Lyc_NKAyVCfaRpTJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For once, The Goof Troop saw a different side of Bradley. He himself didn’t even know he had genuine happiness within him. He starts to accept this part of him, wishing for it to last just a little longer. Unfortunately, the brunet ends up home alone. He doesn’t mind the peace within the frat house anymore now that he resolved his internal conflict. 

 

Before he can venture off to his room, there’s a knock on the door. Opening said door, he’s confused to see Max standing there with his beat up backpack, a fairly used duffel bag, and his toothy grin.

 

“What are you doing here?” The gamma sighs.

 

“Well, we’re leaving for my place tomorrow and we all agreed I’d be driving with you,” his grin widens.

 

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here.” Leaning against the door frame, he subtly looks Max up and down. He’s still dressed in today’s outfit, the basic oversized shirt and baggy shorts with his converse.

 

“It’d be easier if I spend the night here, so you don’t gotta pick me up.” Finally making his point, the guest invites himself in.

 

“Wait, wait, wait. What makes you think I’d agree to that, and what if the gammas were here right now?

 

“You told us no one was here or else I would’ve used the tree,” he shrugs. “And I know you can’t say no to me.” Teasing the other earns a punch to the arm.

 

“Best believe you’re waking up early then.” he walks up to his room, the younger following.

 

The raven-haired throws his things against the wall. “As long as it’s not ass crack in the morning.”

 

After being told to shower first, Max makes himself comfortable on Bradley’s bed. At first he only stares at the ceiling jamming to one of his mixtapes, but he gets bored easily. Remembering the notepad from this morning, he goes to take it out of his bag. Laying on the bed again, he opens it to read. 

 

‘Max,

I honestly don’t have anything to write. Aside from the fact that I forgot how suffocating it is here, nothing has changed. My mother still treats me poorly and my father is only interested in my progress in school, and business.’

 

‘Hello again,

I don’t want to waste this little notebook so why don’t I talk about my family... 

I have my grandfather’s name, I don’t know why he didn’t name his son after himself. From what I’ve been told, after two kids, he wanted a grandchild to be named after him. I’m pretty sure he died at the age of 88. I honestly don’t know much about him besides the fact that he was divorced and retired as soon as he gave entire ownership to my father.”

 

‘My father’s name is Robert. He’s a typical business man, things always seem to go his way. If they don’t he makes it one way or another. Although I’m not inheriting the company, he made it a point to show me how to run it. He taught all of us actually. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him genuinely smile, that part adds to his intimidating personality. All of us look just like him, especially me and I hate it.’

 

‘My mother.. Her name is Adeline. Overall she is a headstrong woman. She might look like a typical rich wife, but she’s helped with the business more than often. Honestly, she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my mother. She might actually be an angel sent from above, or a goddess reincarnated.’

 

‘The oldest is Robin. The sole heir to the company. 11 years older than me. The only noticeable differences between me and him are the eyes and our build. He has hazel eyes, just like our mother. He has a similar build to our father. He’s not so bad to be honest. Sarcastic more than often, but I think having a kid helped change how he speaks to others that aren’t business related. He has a son who’s five, and he’s expecting another.’

 

‘Next in line is Alina. 10 years older. If anyone looks like our mother, it’s her. Hazel eyes and blonde hair. Although her hair is naturally straight, she makes it wavy, reminding me of our mother more. Really into fashion, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen her model for her husband's company. She teases a lot, in her own ways, but she knows how to make me fumble. If you ever meet her, don’t stick around for too long, she’ll make you help her with many things’

 

‘Lastly there’s Briar, you’ve met her. 8 years older. You probably thought she looked like me, and again, we all look alike, genetics right. We have a similar build too.. The only thing different is that her hair is naturally wavy like our mother’s, but she straightens it. She’s the only one who needed glasses as well. They fit her personality though. On the outside, she’s like an office siren, but when she’s not around work related people, she’s the most caring person ever. She’s also very observant, which is kind of why I’m the closest to her.’

 

‘Max,

This is really all your fault. I was doing just fine and then you had to bring me stupid mixtapes… As you already know, I had such good memories with him that it eats me knowing what happened to us. For so long I’ve done my best forgetting about what I used to have. And now it’s like every other thing reminds me of him. I don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish.. But just know it won’t work. I hope you’re happy now because this is the last of this notepad.’

 

After reading the last of what Bradley wrote, Max reads it again, and again, and again. He only hums in response, closing the little notebook.

 

“You just got to reading that?” the man questions, a bit embarrassed. “Glad to see you making yourself home on my bed.” Drying his hair, he sits down next to the other, head turned away from him.

 

Sitting up, the skater looks at the older. He realizes how vulnerable Bradley is around him. “What was his name?” he speaks softly knowing Bradley has every right to ignore the question.

 

“Liam.. Liam Alvarez.” When Max doesn’t say anything, he speaks up. “You know, I searched him up recently and.. He’s a professional tennis player now. That was always his dream.”

 

“That’s good that he stuck to his dream.. What about you? What’s your dream?” When Bradley only looks down at their feet, the other talks again. “I want to be a personal trainer for people interested in calisthenics, I also wanna be a famous skateboarder.”

 

“I want to be a lawyer for athletes or a physical therapist, specifically for athletes.” he finally answers.

 

They talk more about each other's interests, families, and lovers. Eventually, Bradley pulls out the box from under his box and shows him everything. Max plays one of the cassette tapes the other has, listening intently to his favorite band. When it ends, he plays his powerline tape, telling the story of how he danced with powerline on stage once. The other only responded with “I don’t believe that.”

 

As the night continues, the boys find themselves acting like teenage girls. The more they talk, the more their bond grows. When both boys are tired, Bradley retrieves an air mattress and bedding from one of the closets in the house for Max. Once the air mattress is ready, they lay down. Yet conversation still lingers throughout the night, neither knowing when the other fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 32: 28-Buddy Holly

Notes:

I hope you all enjoy like always <3

Song: Buddy Holly by Weezer

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3mwvKOyMmG77zZRunnxp9E?si=56fb7d3465f6486a

Youtube: https://youtu.be/SiJie3Z7DG8?si=Ng6Fxb8YHvjxOSan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bradley’s alarm goes off, 7 in the morning. While he gets up, he hears a groan coming from the area of the air mattress. At first he only looks at the man who’s curled up under blankets. He thinks back to last night and how Max clarified he was in fact a “bi man.” Those words alone helped him speak his own truth.

 

“It’s time to wake up, Maxie,” he hums teasingly, opening his blinds.

 

“You sound like my dad,” the other whines, rubbing his tired face.

 

“Would your father deflate the air mattress while you’re still on it?” He does just that with an amused face.

 

“No, he wouldn’t. He’d let me sleep,” the messy head sprawls on the deflating bed, staring at the ceiling. “What time is it?”

 

“7:04, get up and get dressed.” The tanned man starts off in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and doing his short skin care routine.

 

Finally standing up to stretch, Max pulls on the first thing he grabs out of his backpack before he remembers Bradley will need extra clothes for the trip. Heading into the bathroom, he watches the other complete his skin care.

 

“Have you ever gone thrifting?”

 

“I can’t say I have.”

 

“Perfect, I’m taking you thrifting today.” Max begins to brush his teeth.

 

After breakfast, the two finally make their way to the open road. The entire 45 minutes driving, the music switches from pop to rock to everything in between. Bradley, being very entertained at the passenger’s singing and hand movements, joins in when a song he knew well came on. When the ‘Welcome to Spoonerville’ sign comes into view, Max turns the music down to a low.

 

“Ok, here’s the plan," he announces while navigating the driver in between words. “We get to my old man's. Turn right here. If he's awake- which he will be. another right- we say hi, and you apologize. Don't forget about Sylvia. He'll offer breakfast but we say we already ate. Make a left. I'll tell him that I'm giving you the “ten cent tour” of the town so we can't stay long then drop off our bags in my room. Just keep going straight. After, we make a dash to the door making sure they know we'll be back with the rest of the gang. Turn into this neighborhood and look for a faded yellow house. Then I'll show you around, take you thrifting and shit until the others get here. Sound like a plan? Oh hey we're here!”

 

“Why does your place look like it was taken to the dump?” Parking the car on the side, he looks at the house with skepticism “I mean look at that house, this can't be the same neighborhood.”

 

“Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if our house has been taken to the dump. Some of these houses just got upgraded, ours didn't. And that house is PJ’s old man.” he steps out, and his nose twitches, knowing it's because of his dad.

 

Getting out as well, he meets the other at the trunk to grab their things. “When you said you and PJ were neighbors I wasn't-” there's a loud crash coming from inside. “...expecting next door neighbors. What the hell was that?”

 

The younger groans, back facing the house. “My dad..” As if on cue, Goofy comes rushing out in an apron and a spatula in hand. 

 

“Maxie!” the dad stumbles over a pair of shoes, but catches himself before he could fall. “I thought you weren't coming until the 24th? You're two days early!”

 

Sucking in a deep breath, he turns around. “I know, but plans changed and we were able to come out sooner.” His voice is soft, pushing past the embarrassment to genuinely talk to his dad.

 

“That's great to hear son, wait until Sylvia hears about this.” An ‘A-hyuck’ follows after the sentence and the lengthy man finally notices the familiar figure behind his son. “Bradley? What's he doing here?”

 

The question leaves the brunet’s mouth dry. He doesn't realize the feeling he has right now is fear mixed with hope. Although Goofy asked the question with concern in his voice, it still made him think of a million outcomes.

 

“Oh, right.” Max is now standing next to his father, gesturing to the man across from them. “Dad-”

 

Clearing his throat, he interrupts by holding his hand out. “Good morning Mr. Goof. I know my presence here is unexpected, but let me start with apologizing for my actions for the short time you have met me.” 

 

It's a while before Goofy takes his hand and gives a firm shake. “So yer here to apologize?” the gray streaked haired takes his hand to shake. The typical goofiness he gives off is replaced with seriousness. “It’s great to hear you had a change of heart.”

 

“Will you forgive me?”

 

“Well..”

 

“I should mention he's staying with us,” the son butts in to save things from going silent.

 

“He is?” he scratches the top of his head, not connecting the dots.

 

“Why don't you all come inside,” A soft voice is heard by the door. “Those bags look a little heavy.”

 

“That’s a great idea, thank you Sylvia,” Max sighs.

 

As Goofy heads to the kitchen to help his partner with breakfast, the young adults make their way to Max's room.

 

“I think that went swell,” Bradley comments, following closely behind.

 

“It could've been worse, but it might take a while before we leave to explain we're friends now.” Throwing his bags down, he looks around his empty room, nostalgia rushing to him.

 

“I think I can help with that then,” looking around he notices an old stuffed bear. “Cute teddy.”

 

Quickly snatching the bear off his bed and shoving it into a drawer, he runs a hand through his hair. “Let’s head back downstairs.”

 

On their way down, they hear the older adults talking.

 

“I don’t know Sylvia, that seemed like a genu-ine apology, but-”

 

“But you’re afraid Bradley might do something again?” Goofy’s partner finishes what he was about to say.

 

Bradley stops for a moment, taken aback. Plenty of people have talked about him, whether it was good or bad, yet hearing Max’s dad talk about him made him feel tense. A part of him wants Goofy of all people to approve of him for a reason he knows deep down.

 

“Yeah. I’m sure Maxie knows what he’s doing.”

 

“But you think Bradley might take advantage of him?”

 

“You always know what I’m about to say.”

 

Max, noticing the other is no longer following behind, looks back at him. Gesturing with his head, he mouths ‘it’s ok.’ When the older stays in place, he offers his hand. Reluctantly, he takes the patchy hand. Now rushing down the stairs, the quiet talk stops abruptly when the duo’s image blurs past the dining room.

 

“I’m gonna show Brad around, talk later!” Max announces without stopping. Before Goofy could say anything, the two of them are already to the car. Bradley stares with dumb-foundment as the younger gets into the passenger seat. “What are you waiting for, get in,” he smiles.

“I cannot believe you just did that,” he admits before walking to the driver's side. His actions just now left the man astonished, giving him more reasons to admire the goof.

Chapter 33: 29-Cough Syrup

Notes:

Hey guys! Here is this week's chapter!!

I wanted to let you know that I'll be going on a 1-2 week break since fall break is starting and I have to lock in and complete assignments, so I don't have to do them after fall break. So I hope that everyone who also is in college, or school, takes the time to also complete their assignments and get good grades! Happy Fall by the way!!!

Song- Cough Syrup by Young the Giant

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1UqhkbzB1kuFwt2iy4h29Q?si=27ec0c6848574dba

Youtube: https://youtu.be/8LFWYsUtfV0?si=FzNmMtCaDPc979ZY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After directing the driver, Max considers ditching the car all together. Although it takes a little convincing that Bradley’s truck will be fine, they exit the vehicle, leaving it in a parking lot. 

 

“Can I really trust that my car won’t get towed?” Bradley doubts for a moment.

 

“Trust me, I once watched some guy give a stripped car new wheels and the next day the owner came and picked it up, if anything, someone will give your car a good wash,” Max smiles, patting his shoulder.

 

“I feel as if you just made that up..” Sighing, he continues, “But, you’re a Goof, I suppose anything is possible. Where to first?”

 

The beginning of Max’s tour starts at a skatepark. As they walk around, the tour guide shares his story of his first time finding this place, while running away.

 

“Why were you running away?” The Uppercrust finally asks.

 

“It was just one of those days, y’know. I did it so many times.” Vaguely answering him, Max continues to walk, moving on to their next destination. 

 

Bradley quickly notices the sudden avoidance. However, he doesn’t know how to bring it up, especially with the Goof already past the initial question, and his lack of confronting others about such topics. 

 

Throughout the morning, the older learns of the many places Max enjoys to go in his small town. Now, the part he was looking forward to finally arrives: Thrifting. When they arrive, it takes Bradley a minute to grasp at the idea of buying secondhand clothing. 

 

“It might take a while to find a steal, but a lot of people upcycle good clothes, of course you wash them before you wear them, so you don’t have to worry about that, aight?” the younger reminds.

 

“Yeah, I understand,” rolling his eyes, he walks forward to the men’s clothing.

 

The two of them hop to many thrift stores within the area. Max carries more bags than Bradley, although he did buy things he thinks Bradley would like. Eventually, Max receives a ping from his phone. 

 

“Looks like the others made it,” he smiles, walking into the shop.

 

“Then shouldn’t we head back?” the brunet follows behind, confused.

 

“Nah, They still gotta unpack, and Mocha has to meet PJ’s old man, that’s gonna be a hell that I don’t want to witness.”

 

“Oh, well alright,” Bradley sticks close to Max, watching him skim through clothes. His mind wanders, trying to imagine Pete Senior. Snapping back to reality, he finds the shorter showing him a top. “Sorry, what?”

 

“I asked if you like this, I think it’d look good on you.”

 

“When you say things like that, it sounds so..” 

 

“I know, but I only tell the truth,” he steps in, knowing neither of them have an exact word for it. “You should get it.”

 

“I think I will then,” Brad nods, in approval. As they stand in front of the cashier, he decides to buy Max’s items.

 

By the time the two make it back to Goofy’s house, They see PJ, Mocha, and Pete walk over. PJ has an annoyed look on his face as his father boasts about himself.

 

“Looks like the senior is about to brag to my pops about PJ’s girl,” Max sighs, rolling his eyes.

 

“Is he always like this?” Bradley watches, slightly amused.

 

“He has a big ego,” the younger crosses his arms. “I hate to admit it but I’m more similar to him than Peej is.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“I have a big ego. C’mon, let’s see what nonsense the man spills now.”

 

Once again, Goofy and Sylvia meet them outside, The only one missing being Bobby, who is just sleeping in his car in the Goof’s driveway. 

 

“Would yah look at this Goofster,” Pete begins. “My son, Pete Junior, has a girlfriend, and a nice one at that. I taught him well.”

 

“Uh yeah dad, you sure did..” PJ looks off to the side unamused, tucking his hands in his pockets.

 

“Say Goof, what about your boy over there, has he brought home another girl?” The bigger man starts to instigate. 

 

“He hasn’t, but that ain’t matter Pete. It’s nice to meet yah miss,” Goofy says.

 

“It’s nice to meet you too sir. Your house is as wild as the winds, in the most creative way possible,” Mocha compliments.

 

“Why thank you very much.”

 

“Since we’re introducing people,” Max starts. “This is our friend, Bradley.”

 

“Bradley you say?” Pete looks at him, assessing him in a way. Then, he holds out his hand. “Pleasure to meet yah.”

 

Bradley firmly takes his hand, shaking it. “Pleasure to meet you as well.”

 

“Aren’t you a professional.. Tell me, have we met before, you look familiar.” The older man squirts his eyes a bit, acting as if the other is suspicious.

 

“Oh, I assure you that you have not. This is my first time in Spoonerville. Perhaps you have seen my father on TV, or in a newspaper before,” the taller clarifies.

 

“Who’s your-”

 

“Would you look at the time,” Max interrupts suddenly. “We would really love to continue this conversation, but we made plans with our old friends. Can’t keep them waiting.” 

 

Before anyone else could say anything, The brown-eyed guy pushes everyone towards Bobby’s van. 

 

“Alright son, be safe and be back for supper,” Goofy smiles, waving them off.

 

“Don’t worry dad, why don’t you and Pete do a barbeque, Bobby’s gonna join us.”

 

“That’s a great idea!” 

 

Waking the ginger up, they eventually drive off. They head off to the town's famous arcade, finding a booth for everyone to sit at.

 

“So how did meeting the dad’s go my fellow tourists?” Bobby 

 

“It was rather interesting, seeing how different each son is from their dad,” Mocha answers.

 

“That’s a good thing, right?” Max chips in.

 

“Of course it is, you both have individual characters,” the young woman reassures.

 

“Yeah, imagining another Pete would be horrible at the very least,” Bradley comments.

 

“Thanks, I guess,” PJ rolls his eyes. “How about you Brad, how’d meeting Mr. Goof again go?”

 

“I think it went better than I initially imagined,” the oldest thinks back.

 

“He still doesn’t trust you though,” Max reminds.

 

“Yes, I know. Where are we going after this anyways?” 

 

“I’m so glad you asked,” Bobby grins. After their time is spent at the arcade, Bobby drives to the trio's old high school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 34: I'M SORRY

GUYS I'M ABSOLUTELY SO SORRY, MY 1-2 WEEK BREAK TURNED INTO 3 BECAUSE I FORGOT TO POST SUNDAY.

College life has been real hard since the semester is ending and finals are coming up (next week actually) I feel like I want to take the rest of December off, but I feel like I can manage as assignments stop piling up on me.

 I promise to post this upcoming Sunday my loves. thank you all for being patient. 

 

I hope life has been treating you all well!

 

-Killian

Chapter 35: 30-Say

Notes:

Hey guys! here's a very early update! Thank you for your patience!

It's currently 3:30 am lol. I wanted to do another all nighter because I wanted to write another chapter of Dear Journal and then also study for my math final that's tmr.

 

ALSO! half of the chapter makes me giggle, I hope it makes y'all giggle too.

 

Song- Say by Keshi

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0kQANryNS3gaQ1OAA1yPNg?si=29b0226c6cb140ab

Youtube: https://youtu.be/sI97pJcyeOs?si=sokhwtiKUt23Xeos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The days pass with the group going to various places to hangout. A lot of the places ended up being skate parks around Spoonerville (not that Bradley or Mocha cared). The last day, they spent practicing for the birthday night. When their days were over, the five of them went home to their respective houses, Mocha and Bobby went with PJ and Bradley with Max.

 

When the duo gets to Goof’s house, they are stopped by Goofy. After interacting with the dad and Sylvia, the both of them are finally able to head to Max’s room. And once that door is shut, conversations start to happen. 

 

“Are you ready for your father’s birthday?” Bradley asks, placing his hands behind his neck to stretch it.

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Max replies, pulling his t-shirt over his head. “Your help is going to make this so much easier.”

 

“Is that so?” the brunet sits on the other's bed.

 

“Yeah, I mean, you’re all about having things in order so there’s no doubt you’ll be ordering us around.” The raven haired plops down next to him, leaning back onto his arms.

 

Rolling his eyes, the older also leans back. “I think mister Goof has warmed up to me.”

 

“He has, it’s funny watching him act as if he hasn’t though,” he lets out a small chuckle shaking his head.

 

Bradley turns his head to look at Max as he continues to talk. He watches the way his eyebrows furrow when talking about something his cat did in the past or when his nose scrunches when he talks about a cringey moment when he thought he was cool. Then, the jewelry steals his focus as he watches the metal shift when the other makes an expression as he talks. Eventually his eyes land on his lips watching how when he smiles or laughs, the piercings move a certain way, and occasionally he can see a glimpse of silver coming from his tongue piercing. Too lost in thought, he didn’t notice Max was finally looking at him.

 

“You know, I think you’d look good with a lip piercing,” the younger speaks up, pulling Bradley out of his own thoughts.

 

“What?” he looks into the dark brown eyes that are looking back at him.

 

Max shuffles onto his side to lift his hand up to Bradley’s mouth. He rubs the center of his bottom lip with his thumb. “Right here. A vertical labret would fit you so well.”

 

His breath hitches and he feels himself heat up. It’s a small silence before he composes himself enough to talk. “I’m not getting a piercing.”

 

The goof only hums, still caressing his bottom lip. A flush creeps up the other's face, although he doesn't say anything more. Both stare at each other's eyes. When one looked down to their lips, so did the other. It wasn’t until Max dropped his hands that stopped their trance.

 

“I think you should consider it,” is all he says, silence follows after. He notices how Bradley’s eyes narrow and how his jaw tightens, all while a light pink covers his face. Thinking about his previous actions, he thinks the older is probably mad. “Dude I’m sorry, my hand kinda just moved on..” His voice pans out when he feels the slender hand grab hold of his.

 

Bradley moves his body to face Max’s. Before the younger could say anything else, he grabs onto his face and smashes his lips onto his. As soon as the contact hits, Max joins him, both wanting to take the lead. Bradley has kissed many people, but not anyone with piercings, especially ones like Max’s. At first it was rough and messy and awkward, but as soon as the older allowed Max to lead, things slowed down. Although it is still messy, Bradley gets used to the feeling of the snake bites. When Max slid his tongue inside, the feeling of the piercing threw the guy off, until the metal in his mouth felt comfortable. 

 

Before anything could heat up more, the fair-skinned boy pulls back. It’s silent as both boys catch their breaths. The pair seem to talk with their eyes, with Max wondering if they should talk about just now, and Bradley shaking his head, not wanting to bring it up. Clearing his throat, the younger sits up.

 

“We should get to bed, it’s gonna be a full day tomorrow,” he breaks the silence, turning his head back to look at the Uppercrust. 

 

“Agreed..” Bradley sighs, deciding to lay on the owner’s bed.

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

“Just lay down.”

 

Following orders, he lays next to him. “You’ve gone soft.”

 

“I blame you.” 

 

After that, they let silence surround them, neither sure who fell asleep first.

 

–

 

Bradley wakes up to the sound of the front door closing, signaling that Sylvia got Goofy out the house and won’t be back until they are done. He thinks back to last night and his actions, replaying the intimate moment in his head over and over. Biting his lip, he looks over to the sleeping man. After collecting his own thoughts, he gets up to open the blinds, receiving a whine from the younger.

 

“If you want this surprise to go as planned, you best get up,” he texts Mocha to make sure she can get the other boys up.

 

“Just a few more minutes…” Max rolls over so his back is facing the window.

 

“If you’re not up by the time I’m out of the shower, I’m throwing cold water on you.” The older man plainly says as he walks to the door. Before shutting the door, he throws in a “And you know I will.” 

 

The light-skin lays there peacefully for a moment processing Bradley’s words. Once it clicks, he jolts up. “How cruel he is,” he yawns, stretching his whole body. While Bradley does his morning routine, Max makes his way outside to Bobbies van. There he is met with the other three boys, all yawning. “Did Brad-”

 

“Yeah,” both guys say in union.

 

“Mocha told us Brad would throw ice water if we weren’t up,” Bobby groans, messing with his growing buzzcut.

 

“Well she told you that, I woke up the first time she asked,” PJ shrugs.

 

“Whatever, let’s get this equipment out back before those two are done getting ready,” Max points to the trunk of the van, wanting to get everything set up quickly.

 

Once the trio set up on what they call their stage, they began to idle, talking about old times they had in the very backyard they are standing in. Mocha comes with a few decorations, in which they start to hang, and soon Bradley walks out with breakfast snacks. As if on cue, both Bradley and Max make eye contact. Taking a deep breath, the taller strides over to talk to the other.

 

“For food, what did you want..” Bradley starts, crossing his arms all while maintaining eye contact. 

 

“Are we going to pretend last night didn’t happen?” Max instead changes the subject with a soft voice, hands pushed into his pockets. The mention of last night makes the composed man take a deep breath and turn his head. The quietness from him allows him to speak again. “I was thinking burgers would be fine, should we head to the store?”

 

Bradley nods, already turning to walk to his car. “We’ll be back, text me if there is anything else we need from the store.” Max follows, waving everyone off. 

 

“I’m sure you know where to go by now,” the younger hums as he closes the passenger door.

 

“I’m not ready to talk about it, not right now,” he abruptly says, throwing Max off.

 

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. I understand you’d rather focus on what’s important right now and that’s cool.”

 

Sighing, he whispers a ‘right’ before starting the car and driving off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

Y'know how some ppl be acting out the scenes to make sure it makes sense?

Well, I do the same thing lol.

Me when acting out the scenes: 😏🫦

Chapter 36: happy holidays

hey guys Killian here, again. As I visit my family for the holidays, there won't be a new chapter tonight. 

I hope you all have good holidays and I'm looking forward to seeing you all next year!

 

Chapter 37: 31-Birthday

Notes:

Hey guys! here is the chapter! enjoy!

also! I'm doing a "Christmas" special, which is almost done. I might just call it a holiday special. I don't actually know what I'm writing, but I'm almost finished lol. I'll let y'all know when I upload it!

Song: Birthday by the Beatles

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1ABegtCPBMMJaMpfDyATjE?si=8b1f81dd33274e59

Youtube: https://youtu.be/dhdOPhTHeoE?si=BJ3B2gxC_AZaMero

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Alright guys,” Bradley claps his hands to get the guests’ attention. “Sylvia and Goofy should be here soon, keep it down and get into position.” As if on cue, everyone invited hushes, and the Goof Troop got up on their makeshift stage.

 

From outside they can hear Goofy call for Max in the house. “Maxie! Are you and your friend up there? I was thinking you and all yer friends could join me down here for some games since it’s my birthday and all.”

 

Sylvia, after a moment of hushness, speaks up. “Maybe they went to go get you a gift dear. How about we head out back.”

 

The both of them walk outside, Goofy rather confused on why they should exactly be outside. Immediately after they walk outside, the fairy lights turn on and everyone shouts, ‘happy birthday!’

 

“Well gawsh, A-hyuck.” He looks around, astonished, until he meets his son’s gaze. “You did all this for me?”

 

“I did, with some help of course.” Max looks back at his band to make sure everyone is ready. He then finds Bradley with the cake walking towards his dad, nodding for them to begin. “Happy birthday dad.”

 

Bobby starts the song off, followed by PJ and Mocha. They lead up to the part where Max starts singing.

 

“ Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Goofy

Happy birthday to you”

 

The second time he sings it, the small crowd joins in. At that point, the older man notices Bradley light up candles as the band finishes up the instrumental. As things get quiet, Goofy blows out his candles and everyone cheers.

 

“That was amazing, thank you Maxie,” Goofy smiles appreciatively, with a proud look on his face.

 

“You’re welcome dad, but we got one more birthday song for you,” little Goof says, making his way down. “Are you ready?” he holds the mic towards his dad.

 

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be!”

 

Once Goofy gives the go, PJ hits his sticks together and begins the song.

 

“I want everyone to join if you know the song,” Max instructs, making his way back to the band.

 

“You say it's your birthday

It's my birthday too, yeah

They say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday

Happy birthday to you”

 

Along with the band and Bradley, a few of the guests and Sylvia join in, singing the lyrics to the Beatles song. Eventually the band finishes the song and heads down to join everyone. Before Max could say anything, Goofy engulfs him in a hug.

 

“That was such a nice gift, thank you,” the father says, squeezing tightly.

 

“Dad- can’t breathe,” the son responds, patting his back.

 

“Oh, sorry Maxie, I’m just so darn happy and proud of you.”

 

“I know dad,” Max smiles softly. Usually he’d feel embarrassed, but he has grown to embrace his father's love. “But hey, don’t get too comfortable, me and the band have a set list for later tonight. Why don’t you introduce Sylvia to some of the family.”

 

“Son, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you.” Goofy ruffles his hair, noticing how his little boy has grown into such an amazing young man.

 

“You’re welcome, now go on, enjoy yourself.”

 

The second Goofy left to introduce Sylvia to family and friends, Bradley, who is standing behind the younger, begins to tease.

 

“Didn’t know you can get all mushy like that, Maxie.” He’s standing in his typical pose, arms crossed, hip popped to the side.

 

“You know Brad, the alt look is for sure your true calling. The pose ties it all together,” Max rolls his eyes.

 

“My pose? How am I posing?” he shifts on his foot, a little conscious now.

 

The younger only shrugs, stepping closer. “Although, the way you normally dress also fits you, and your poses. Don’t think too much into it.”

 

“How can I not when you just mentioned it?”

 

“C’mon, just.. let loose.” Max grabs his hand. “Why don’t I introduce you to some people.”

 

“You’re impossible.”

 

“I know.”

 

Later into the night, the Goof Troop begins their performance with songs Goofy enjoys. A lot of the time Max would make eye contact with Bradley and only smile. Every time he did, Bradley’s heart would tug, aching for something more between the interaction. Goofy, observing the two, chooses to confront the boy.

 

“I believe I owe you a thank you as well,” he says, now standing next to him.

 

“Oh, Goofy,” Bradley startles. “Well I was just doing what Max asked from me.”

 

“But you still played your part son,” he smiles appreciatively.

 

“I suppose so..” The brunet nods, a little stiff.

 

“What’s stopping you from telling my boy how you feel?” 

 

A sudden change in topic throws the college student off. “I- what? I don’t think I understand.”

 

Goofy places a hand on the broad man’s shoulder. “Ya know, I think you do. If it’s cause yer scared, I can tell you now that Maxie looks at you the same way you look at him.”

 

Bradley purses his lips. The warmth from Max’s father’s hand is comforting, reminding him of Max himself. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

 

“Well, you made some mistakes, but if my son can forgive ya, I can forgive you too.” He looks up at Max. “And all I want is for him to be happy. If you can make him happy, what more is there to ask for.” The only reply Bradley gives the older goof is a nod, too focused in his own mind to notice his absence. 

 

When he looks back at Max, he notices the other already smiling at him. Taking a deep breath, the newcomer heads over to the drink cooler, pulling out a sprite bottle. Having a moment to organize his thoughts, he knows that a conversation about their relationship is going to happen soon. Bradley still hopes to stall the topic, but his actions from last night prove it to be a difficult task. He spends the rest of the night switching from lost in thought to socializing with the Goof’s family and friends.

 

As Max performs, he thinks about Bradley. ‘Is he doing alright?’ or ‘Does he feel comfortable?’ Simple questions that make him search the crowd for the older as he sings. When their eyes meet, he gives him a smile. The last time the singer looks into the crowd, The watercolor eyes were nowhere to be found. Scanning the crowd, he eventually finds Bradley by the ice chests talking to his nephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Realizing he’s worrying for nothing, Max focuses on singing for the rest of the performance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: The outfits maxley are wearing!

Notes:

To be honest, I wanted a filler episode and I really wanted to have a birthday lol.

Added the two birthday songs to the Goof troop playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYwJnxN9UMniX_tAneCqBgG_YLWxVwS7-&si=Ccrh5pKUKKp6ziPd

Chapter 38: This Winter Out Now!

 

Hey guys! Happy New Years (Eve)!

 

My Holiday special is out now! It's called This Winter!!

 

Hope you all decide to read it hehe 

 

Ok I'll see y'all Sunday!!

 

Chapter 39: 32-Lover/Friend

Notes:

I wanna start with apologizing, I forgot to add the song from last week's chapter to the playlist and such, but I did that now and updated the birthday chapter, so it has that info now!

 

I also wanted to hype up my other work, This Winter! I'm really proud of it and I cringe when I read it with all the contents. I'd love to see y'all support it! It definitely got me inspired to write more so who knows.

Without further ado, I present the next chapter!

Song: Lover/Friend by KAYTRANADA ft. Rochelle Jordan

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3u18lRpQFZYALlVjn0fL1y?si=07b1768aae664a40

Youtube: https://youtu.be/x3d6TwYvnDE?si=beQ-o2Rw_doMy6iA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once the gang gets everyone to leave, they start to clean. Goofy and Sylvia insist on helping, but the four of them quickly decline, leaving Bradley in charge of walking them into the house. In doing so, the young man thinks back to his previous conversation with Goofy, leaving a troubled look on his face. The couple look at each other, then at him, then at each other again, seemingly conversing about the man’s odd behavior.

 

“I don’t know what I should do,” Bradley speaks, startling the two.

 

“What do you mean?” Sylvia softly replies.

 

“I mean, I want to talk to him about.. us,” the brunet starts, using hand gestures. “And I know he wants to talk to me about us. I just.. I don’t know.” He starts to pace as he rambles. “I did something stupid last night and he’s being so damn patient with me that it’s so.. irritating. The sooner we talk about it though, the better it would be, but I just don’t know when we can. Every time I think about it I just want to blow my brains out or something.”

 

“Woah there son, take a deep breath for a sec, ‘kay?” Goofy places a hand on the brunet’s shoulder to stop his pacing. Feeling grounded, he does what was asked. “There ya go.”

 

“It sounds to me that you’re scared Bradley,” the soft voice fills the room. “And it’s perfectly fine to be scared. Maybe you should talk to him tonight if it’s on your mind like this.”

 

Bradley nods, letting Sylvia’s words soak in. “You’re right. Thank you Ms. Marpole.”

 

“Just call me Sylvia dear.”

 

After a minute of silence, the younger looks over his shoulder to the backyard door. “Well, I should go and help the others clean up. Sleep well.”

 

“Make sure to tell ‘em not to be out there for too long, it gets a lil’ chilly at night,” Goofy informs before heading upstairs with his lover.

 

Upon walking outside, he notices how everything has been cleaned, with no one in sight. Pulling out his phone, he goes to call Max. Before he could press send, he notices the goof’s figure walking towards him.

 

“How the hell did you three clean so fast and where the hell were you”

 

“There wasn’t that much to pick up,” Max chuckles. “And I was just saying goodnight to the others. Bobby wanted to smoke and the couple wanted to get some sleep.” Looking at the older’s troubled face, he reaches for his hand. “You’re not tired right? I wanted to show you one more place.”

 

Bradley looks at their hands, multiple thoughts running around his head. “I doubt I could even sleep right now even if I wanted to.”

 

“Then, maybe this place would be perfect,” the younger smiles, tugging him to the large tree in the backyard.

 

“You wanted to show me a tree.. that’s in your backyard?”

 

“Yeah.” Max let go of his hand, and stepped to the side of the tree that faces the fence. Feeling the absence of warmth from the boy’s hand, Bradley follows him. Once he notices the make-shift ladder nailed to the tree, he looks up to see the base of a treehouse. “My dad helped me build this so me and PJ can have another place to hang out.”

 

“That’s impressive actually,” The blue eyes gaze up in approval.

 

“Thanks! Do you wanna head up?” he asks, already climbing the tree.

 

“It doesn’t look like I have a say in this either way.” the broad man begins to follow the other. Once reaching the top, he realizes how spacious the makeshift house is. “This is actually some good work.”

 

“You think so?” he sits down in front of the “window”, gesturing for his friend to sit with him. 

 

Obliging, Bradley sits across from him, knees close to his chest. For a moment he only looks out to the open space, appreciating the view he has of the stars. When his eyes make their way back to Max, he heeds the look the younger gives him. After a period of silence, he sighs. “I think I’m ready to talk now.”

 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured or rushed.”

 

“I’m positive, Max.”

 

“Then,” the younger scoots closer to the brunet so that their legs could practically touch, making it easier to hold each other's hands, if needed. “You can start whenever you’re ready.”

 

“Thank you..” Looking down, the troubled man tries to form the words into a coherent sentence. Each time he looks up to open his mouth, the words dissolve on his tongue, forcing himself to look back down. Eventually, he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I.. about last night.”

 

“Did you hate it? Because I didn’t.”

 

Hearing those words, Bradley looks at him once more, this time his eyes not wavering. “No. I didn’t hate it either.”

 

“That’s good, I really don't want you to regret that.” The look in Max’s eyes shares the same tension the other feels.

 

“I don’t just want this to be about the kiss.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

“I want to understand you, I don’t want to see your actions as you just pitying me.”

 

“I don’t pity you Bradley. And if I’m being honest, when I read your journal, all I wanted to do was protect whoever wrote it. I wanted the person behind the words to feel safe. And then I found out it was yours, those thoughts never changed, but I remembered that I can’t do what I want because the other is hurt. Especially when you have your own ways to cope. I didn’t want you to feel like what you wrote defined you, and I really hoped I could just get to know the real you.”

 

The fair-skinned allows his words to sink in, controlling the impulse to blow up, because he didn’t say anything wrong after all. “Were you only hanging out with me because you felt like I was incompetent with handling myself?”

 

“Of course not Bradley. I mean you came to me after I returned your journal. I wanted you to decide if I could be in your life. And I might push a little but only because I care for you, especially since I’m the only one who seems to know. I don’t want to be someone who treats you as a fragile object cause you’re so damn strong. I want to be someone you can lean on when you need strength or comfort.” 

 

“You don’t just like me because you feel like you need to?”

 

“I like you because you openly continue to show who you are to me.”

 

“Who am I to you?”

 

“You’re compulsive, but you put in the effort to change yourself for the better. You’re stuck-up, but in a good way. You know your worth, but at the same time, you’re learning more about yourself every day.” Just then, he rests his spotty hand on top of his, holding it gently. “I mean, you’re Bradley Uppercrust the Third to the world, with the group you’re Brad, but when it’s just us, you’re Bradley, just Bradley.” 

 

Allowing muteness to converse between the two, the older takes a deep breath. With each negative, Max found a way to make himself see his strengths. Looking down at their hands, he squeezes tightly for his own reassurance. 

 

“I think you’re right..”

 

“I think so too. But, who am I to you, Bradley?”

 

“A.. really naive guy, who somehow saw the good in me.” He lets out a dry laugh, looking back up to meet his eyes.” Very compassionate and caring. So damn patient that it’s hard to understand why. Pretty considerate, head-strong sometimes. Persistent.. And a really talented, passionate guy..”

 

“Could you ever think of me more than just a friend?”

 

“I already do Max.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

I did tell you guys about wanting to write originals after doing some fanfiction right?

I really love lore building, and writing. I do hope I can publish originals as a side hustle, even if they're wack. It's the one thing on my bucket list: Write a book and publish it.

Chapter 40: 33-I hate everyone but you

Notes:

This chapter coming real early lol

I sometimes feel like I don't even know what I'm writing and then other times I'm like, this is what the plot needs. This has nothing to do with this chapter but that's how I feel writing future chapters because the ideas are there, but the execution is trying to leave me

I dare say "I will not let the creativity leave my bones!" so I hope y'all enjoy!

 

Song- I Hate Everyone But You by Elita

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/51Xha6ufwqMSq2J8quPwgb?si=98fb1d880a414e8e

Youtube: https://youtu.be/X02lGPJNQ20?si=KedNKlIdEFAD5VsG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking out to the moon and stars, Max and Bradley sit side by side, hands intertwined. The previous conversation between the two lingers in the atmosphere, keeping them warm. The younger rests his head on the older’s shoulder, giving Bradley the chance to lay his head on top of Max’s. Closing his eyes, the Uppercrust sighs out in relief with their close proximity, listening to the Goof hum a gentle tune.

 

“Max?” he breaks the silence.

 

“Yes?” the young man replies.

 

“I’m not some charity case, right?”

 

“I’m not a therapist, right?”

 

“I don’t know, you basically are.”

 

“Then maybe you are a charity case.”

 

“I take that back.”

 

“Y’know, you’ll never be a charity case. I would think of you more of a princess in need of saving.”

 

“And you’re what? A knight in shining armor?”

 

“If you want me to be, princess.”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Sure thing, prince.”

 

“You’re so corny.”

 

“Thanks, I try to be.”

 

“What am I to you now?”

 

“I thought we talked about this already.”

 

“It doesn’t hurt to be reassured.”

 

Max sits up, holding both of his hands. “Well in the beginning, we were rivals, and in that moment when I won, and you owned up to your words and was sent to the hospital, I thought about our rivalry and how stupid it was. Then, we became friends in an uncomfortable way probably, but I’m glad you reached out, I didn’t want to be overwhelming. Then close friends.. and now, we're just really close.”

 

Letting the words soak in before he responds, Bradley looks down at their mingled hands. “Just really close?”

 

“I think that sums up our relationship perfectly. That is, unless you think of us differently”

 

“No, you’re right. I didn’t know what to call.. us anyways.”

 

“Are you sure you’re alright with that?”

 

Looking back up, the brunet makes a move by kissing the other’s nose. “I rather not call ourselves boyfriends, or lovers.. I’m not ready for titles like that.”

 

“We don’t need a title, not now, not later. Just whenever you’re ready.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Of course, prince.”

 

“You’re going to call me that to tease me now, aren’t you.”

 

“You know me so well.”

 

 “I hate you,” Bradley says

 

“I love you too,” Max counters.

 

“Wait-”

 

“Is it too soon to say that, sir?”

 

“I don’t know..” After a moment of silence, their lips meet, a tender kiss shared between the two. “What if I say I hate everyone but you?”

 

“I’d say I love you too.”

 

“Really?”

 

“You don’t have to force yourself to say those words, no matter what you say, I know it’s your way of saying I love you.”

 

“I feel like you’re too kind.”

 

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

 

“Well, it’s done a lot of good to you, so.. A good thing.”

 

“Can I switch topics?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“What if I ever meet your family?”

 

Bradley chuckles. “My dad would hate you.”

 

“Well, I do hate him.”

 

“And I hate everyone that’s not you.”

 

“Y’know I like when you say that.”

 

As the night gets colder, the boys decide to return to Max’s childhood room. Tonight, they lay together, cuddling.

 

–

 

“Oh I wish you didn't have to leave Maxie,” Goofy mentions hugging his son. 

 

“I know, but I got gigs to play, bills to pay, a life to live,” the son mumbles the last part so his dad wouldn’t hear, earning an elbow to the back from his companion.

 

“Just remember son, you’re always welcome here.” he pats his head as if he was still a little boy.

 

“How could I ever forget.” Max shakes his head with a reassuring smile. “It was good seeing you again Sylvia.”

 

“You as well Max.” She smiles, giving him a hug.

 

“That goes for you too Bradley,” Goofy pats the other’s shoulder while his son and lover talk.

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“You’re welcome here any time, whether you come with Maxie or just by yourself.”

 

“Oh well, thank you Goofy.” Bradley smiles, appreciating the generosity he is being shown.

 

“Of course, drive safely now.”

 

“I will, don’t worry.”

 

Saying their final goodbyes, the two boys finally get themselves into Bradley’s car and head back to their place (Max’s room). 

 

“You’re so rude to your father sometimes.” Bradley comments, eyes on the road.

 

“Hey, what I said wasn’t that rude. Besides, you should’ve seen the way I treated him in high school. I clearly wasn’t punished enough as a kid.” Max sighs, reflecting on his flaws. “I’m trying to be a better son for him though.”

 

“That’s good then..”

 

“Thanks for being on me about it, I know not everyone has a dad like mine.”

 

“Why don’t we talk about this then?”

 

“About what?”

 

“I’ve noticed that whenever we talk about challenging topics, it’s only my issues. Just a few days ago you pushed an uncomfortable talk away and pretended like it was nothing, and you’re doing it now. I never thought anything about it because I don’t know how to confront someone like how you confront me, but it’s frustrating and makes me feel more self centered than I already am.”

 

This time it’s the raven-haired turn to sit in silence, piercing his lips. The quietness allows Bradley to grip the steering wheel, knuckles going white. Noticing the tenseness of the driver, Max places a hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry, it’s just hard to talk about it.”

 

“Like I had a choice.” 

 

“Hey, that's not fair.”

 

“No, it really isn’t because you read about my life like some story and you don’t even trust me to listen to yours!”

 

“I do trust you Bradley!”

 

Pulling over, the older turns to face him, rage building up.. “Then why won’t you tell me anything?!” 

 

“Because I don’t know how!” They stare at each other, deep breaths overlapping with the faint sound of music. Max’s outburst throws Bradley off guard, his temper lowering. After a while he sighs. “I’m sorry Bradley.”

 

“Maybe you need a journal of your own then.” Initially wanting to leave the conversation with those final words, Bradley gets back into a position to drive. 

 

“How are you going to do this to me when last night we actually had progress?”

 

“How can I call us anything when I don’t even know what bothers you or what calms you down?” Snapping back, he slams his palms onto the steering wheel. “I want to be close to you for fucks sake and all the times I try to understand your.. vulnerability, you push me away! You don’t know how to talk about it? Well neither did I. I never wanted to tell anyone, but talking to you took a lot of trusting and openness, didn’t it?” 

 

Allowing the words to kick in, Max steps out of the car, yet again throwing the brunet off. Following his actions, he also steps out, walking around his truck to see an exhausted look on the other's face. 

 

“Can we talk about this later. We’re quite literally in the middle of nowhere.”

 

“Sure, whatever.” scoffing, he heads back to the car.

 

“You know what. Just leave me here, I’ll find a way back.”

 

Laughing, Bradley heads back to him, grabbing his hand. “Now you’re starting to sound like me. Like hell I’m just going to leave you in the middle of nowhere when we can just sit in silence. I’m mad at you, but I don’t hate you Max.” Dragging the younger back to his car, he sighs. “Like you said last night, sometimes you push me to talk because you care for me. I want to do the same for you because I care and I want to be that someone who knows all of you.”

 

As he opens the passenger seat, Max nods his head. “You’re right and I’m sorry.”

 

“..I’m sorry too. And you’re right about one thing.”

 

“I am?” 

 

“Right now isn’t the time to talk about this. But I’m serious when I say we will talk about you.”

 

Hugging Bradley, he looks up to meet his eyes. “So… you don’t hate me?”

 

“RIght now I really do.”

 

“Well, I still love you.”

 

Sharing a quick kiss, the lovers quarrel ends, and they end up back on the road.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 41: 34- Deep Down

Notes:

Hey guys here is a new chapter!

I wanted to talk about possibly ending this story soon. I mean I really don't want to because I feel like I can just write and write about these two characters in this fanfic but at the same time I feel like I'll be getting nowhere by doing that. There is a huge possibility that there will be a sudden ending after the next couple of chapters just because I do lack in these transitions I believe. My idea for the ending is really good tho. I promise the ending will deliver no matter what!

There was also a little talk about how all this felt rushed in the last two episodes which I do completely agree but also the Maxley relationship to me in this ff is all about how things are a lil complicated with them. So we did get the big talk and then conflict the next day because that's just how these characters are portrayed to me. Max doesn't mind taking time, but Bradley can't handle waiting when something is on his mind. Sorry for those who were disappointed. Thank you for continuing to read though!

I also have to go back through the tags and edit some out because I know for a fact that I barely wrote any angst. Ofc I say that the whole journal was the angst but that feels like a let down.

Hopefully I can learn from all this and write better stories. I do have another Maxley scenario in my head that I think I might be able to execute, but it's going to take a while.

Anyway, Enjoy!!

 

Song- Deep Down by Tomorrow by Together

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4iK0QSCW3nmt6bsZtAjzX6?si=03cc16c4202d4222

Youtube: https://youtu.be/e-RIIDPikao?si=JWUwpV7T3U7Y0h-j

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Throwing his bags onto his floor, Max flops face first onto his bed with a satisfied groan. Bradley, walking in after, sets his bag down next to the others. For a short time, the older only stares down at the younger before scoffing. Noticing the irritation in his demeanor, Max lifts himself up.

 

“We just got home Bradley, I get you want to talk but having a rest would be nice,” he says softly.

 

“I'd rather just go back to my place then,” the fair-skinned rolls his eyes, picking his bags back up.

 

“You’re not serious are you?”

 

“When do I ever joke around like this Max?”

 

With a sigh, he runs a hand through his dark hair. “Can we at least eat something before we talk then?” 

 

With much contempt, Bradley turns around. “We can talk while we eat.”

 

“FIne. Sounds like a deal.” Walking over to the one standing, Max intertwines their hands, the bags dropping to the floor yet again. “What do you want to eat?” He gives a soft smile, and as if on cue, the other slightly smiles back.

 

“Let’s get take out.”

 

“The Usual Spot?”

 

“That’s the only place I’ll order from.”

 

“I’ll call it in then.”

 

“Perfect, you know what I like.”  Striding to the bed, the older sits down, then lays back.

 

“Of course I do.” Heading over to his desk, he pulls out a wrinkled menu from The Usual Spot and dials the number, ordering for the both of them. Once done, he lays down next to the older. “They said it’ll be ready in 30.”

 

“Maybe you were right about taking a rest,” he suddenly says with a sigh.

 

“Well to you it might’ve looked like I was still pushing the topic away. Meeting in the middle is sometimes good too. You’re doing really good at staying calm by the way.”

 

“How do you always know what to say?”

 

“I know, I just get super mature and wise suddenly.”

 

“And there’s the Max we all know.”

 

Rolling his eyes, he kisses the older. “C’mon let’s go get our food.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this..” the brunet mumbles, rubbing the kissed cheek while watching his other walk to the door. He already knows that he is comfortable with Max, yet it’s a confession he does not want to speak openly about, especially this soon.

 

After eating, the two of them sit in silence. Their conversation not being picked up from where it was left. Although Max knows he should initiate the topic, he only looks down. Watching him, Bradley sits with vexation. 

 

The impatience that surrounds the older as the thought of the inability to understand why his other is like this eats at him. Letting out a snarky exhale as he turns his head to the side, the younger finally looks up. At that moment, he realizes how much Bradley is trying for their sake.

 

“Shit,” Max breathes outs, prompting the other to snap his attention back to him. “This entire time I’ve been unfair to you and you’ve just wanted to be there for me like I am for you. You’re doing your best and I haven’t even tried to do anything that you have asked me to do.”

 

“What’s your point?” Bradley says, feeling as if he’s trying to brush the topic off again.

 

“Even in the car, I understood what you were saying, and I’ve been ignoring it to.. save face?” 

 

The young man laughs exasperatedly, seeing the conversation go in a circle. “If that’s all you’re going to say, I’m leaving because one more “sorry” is going to drive me mad.”

 

The second he stands up, Max blurts out, “I never had a mom.” Flabbergasted, Bradley looks down at him. “She left me and my dad after I was born.” he looks down, more conscious than ever. Knowing he should say more, his mouth doesn’t open.

 

“Max,” Bradley analyzes, sitting back down. This time, instead of feeling angry, he feels something he can’t quite put into words, waiting for when Max is ready to continue. So they sit, the only noise heard is their breaths. Realizing that the brown eyes that usually gaze up at him are glued to the floor, the now poised man thinks back at what Max would do to comfort him. With much consideration, he decides to sit next to the boy and place his hand on top of his. “I know you can do this.”

 

Closing his eyes with a shaky breath, his spotty hand grips onto his pants. “I was always so.. angry because I didn’t understand why she wasn’t there. All I had was an overprotecting dad who would never tell me anything about her. At first it never really mattered because I thought my dad was the coolest. I mean he still is a cool dad by growing up with kids who always talked about not having a real family if my mom wasn’t in the picture, or having a dad who watches over you almost every second was embarrassing really fucked me up. I was so young but I hated my dad for it all.” Max turns his head away from Bradley, ashamed. All while he sits quietly, listening with no signs of expression. “We would argue about it and I would run away. He always found me at the same skate parks though. It got less intense when we moved, but I still had those outbursts. I just couldn’t see myself like him and it scared me that I would end up like him for some reason. So I tried to make a name for myself instead of just being Goofy’s precious son.”

 

It’s a while before Bradley notices how much longer this break is before he decides to say something. “We’re not that different then.” After receiving a nod, he continues. “Would you get as mad as me?”

 

Actually laughing, Max shakes his head, finally directing his eyes to the older. “I could never be that mad at someone to cause them harm, besides at my dad, but that was unintentional.”

 

“You got me there. But why don’t you like talking about it?”

 

“Because I’m ashamed of it- I’m ashamed of myself. My old man never raised me like that. And we were both hurt and all I did was hurt him more, even if he never showed it.”

 

“How do you think I feel, after the X-games?” Understanding what he means, the younger nods. “Back in Spoonerville you said you were more like PJ’s father than you are yours.”

 

“Well it’s true.”

 

“I can’t say about younger you, but you right now resemble your own father more than you know it, and I’m not talking about your looks. No doubt you do look like him in ways, but if you saw my family.”

 

Reflecting on his words, Max smiles. “You’re surprisingly good at this.”

 

“I didn’t do or say much. And I only told the truth.”

 

“Exactly.” Watching the confused boy think about what just happened, he gives him a peck on the cheek. “Also I’ve seen one of your sisters, so I get the gist. The question is, who looks like daddy dearest the most?”

 

“Technically I do since I have all his genes, but probably Robin. The real question is who doesn’t look like our father the most. Don’t answer that, I already told you who.”

 

“Damn, I was going to say who too.” Sighing, he leans his head on the broad shoulder. “Is this how you felt when you wrote in your journal, or talked to me about these things?”

 

“Felt like what exactly?”

 

“Relieved. Like the things on your mind make a little more sense.”

 

Pondering before answering, Bradley nods, never thinking about it that way until Max mentions it. “Yes.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

I also have a Huening Kai scenario that I have also been thinking about, so maybe I'll even be able to publish that too after some time. If you're a fan of TXT or Kpop or would just read it for the characters and the plot!!

ps: this was a pure coincidence that I mentioned a possible txt ff while the song is a txt one lol

Chapter 42: 35-Nuestra Canción

Notes:

Guys omg I might have hit a road block and it's killingggggg me lol. I'm trying to fix it before the next chapters be uploaded. enjoy this lil chapter!

Also this semester started this last Tuesday (21st) and the week cooked me frfr. Imma do my best to finish this semester off the best I can tho. I wish everyone luck with their studies, no matter the grade as well as with work. Trying to find me a job too, hopefully I get one soon.

Song- Nuestra Canción by Monsieur Periné ft Vicente García

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5reQI13tWWYDLMrGcUF4Mk?si=45a2ea0630bd40e5

Youtube: https://youtu.be/KY6-Svb0xtM?si=yoYAlRwUnn-7BHCk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The days pass by without a care in the world. Although the pair’s status is no secret to the friend group, they never make a formal announcement. No one in the group has questioned them since they continue to act just as before. When it’s just the two of them, physical contact increases and Bradley speaks softer. Many days Max spends his time in Bradley’s room, enjoying the climb up. Other days, Bradley joins him in the trio's house where the four of them hang out in the living room, where often times he sleeps over, cuddled up with his other. Eventually, the month of June is coming to an end and the older gives Max a proposition. 

 

“Do you want to meet my sister?” The question rolls off Bradley’s tongue. Although he looks stoic, his mind races, acting on pure impulse.

 

“Your sister?” The younger looks up at him, finishing the food in his mouth before continuing. “Which one?”

 

“Briar, her birthday is coming up and she usually prefers more laidback times,” he explains.

 

“Ok, I’m not saying I don’t want to meet her, again, but why ask now?” he lifts a fry up to his mouth.

 

Looking away, he rubs his neck. “Well.. just forget it.”

 

“Don’t be like that Brad. I’m actually excited to meet someone from your family who’s as cool as you.”

 

Reassessing the option, the young man smirks. “I am cool, huh?”

 

“Not as cool as me.” Crossing his arms, the pierced man realizes what’s happening. “Hey, don’t switch the topic! When are we meeting her?”

 

“She’s coming out here in two weeks, the weekend before her birthday.” Sighing, Bradley rubs one of his eyes. “I just thought it’d be good if you met her since, you know.”

 

Observing the guy in front of him, Max finishes the rest of his fries and stands. “Then I should buy her a gift! What does she like?”

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

“I want to because it’s your sister. I’ve read a lot of good things about her anyways. Now c’mon, let’s get out of here.”

 

Following in his pursuit, the two of them leave the little diner, making their way to the skatepark after convincing the shorter a gift is not needed. As they talk, Max switches the topic every few minutes, ticking Bradley off. Spending time with the younger has helped him to tolerate the action however.

 

Upon arriving, Bobby shouts their names rollerblading. PJ, who stops biking, waves at the two. Max already drops his board down skating towards them leaving Bradley to walk the rest of the way on his own.

 

Right off the bat, the ginger pulls out his camcorder. For the longest he’s been wanting to film Bradley hit some tricks and this time he agrees. Gathering the trios full attention, the oldest takes a deep breath as he steps towards the deck. 

 

After mentally preparing himself, Bradley drops in from the lip of the ramp, starting off with warmup transitions. As he finally gets used to being on the board, Bradley begins to do more complex tricks. To show off he does a hospital flip and finished with an impossible before popping back up to the deck. 

 

The three younger men hollar and cheer which surprises Bradley for a moment, forgetting that after every turn, they applaud the person for their performance. They begin to tease the older, mentioning things such as cheating or even saying “Where was this back at the X-Games?” Although that topic is an open wound for him, it’s a healing wound nonetheless that he can accept joking about. Following the man’s turn is Max, who claims to be the better skater. Bradley doesn’t doubt it but those are words he won’t speak out openly. 

 

“You should do a knee slide,” Bradley starts, openly flirting in a way no one understands. “I think you do that best.”

 

“Yeah right. Are you going to blind me again?” Max plays along.

 

“If I have to.” Their eyes stuck on each other makes the older grin.

 

PJ and Bobby not knowing what exactly is happening watch. Waiting for their childhood friend to make a comeback, they startle when he laughs it off. Looking at each other, both boys shrug it off. Bobby makes his way to record Max as he walks to the deck.

 

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen ‘the muse’ Maximilian,” Bobby comments, insinuating the skater should pull it off.

 

“Yeah man, ‘the muse’ is a sure fire way to prove who’s the better skater,” PJ joins in.

 

Giving his friends a thumbs up, Max undertakes his turn with easy tricks. He keeps the tricks easy to warm himself up for the more challenging ones.

 

“Am I missing something?” Bradley finally asks. “What’s ‘the muse’?”

 

“Remember the qualifying rounds?” PJ answers, Bobby too immersed in recording. Seeing him nod, he continues. “When he pulled off quite literally one of the biggest stunts ever man.”

 

“What about it?” the fair-skinned man continues, genuinely not connecting the dots.

 

“I recorded him doing it again and he named it ‘the muse.” Bobby finally chips in. “Pretty killer name, isn’t it?”

 

Coming towards the deck, Max fakes his turn ending, getting his friends full attention. That’s when he executes his self proclaimed trick. Too focused on doing it correctly, the sudden cheers from his two friends go unnoticed. Bradley finds himself staring in awe. His eyes trace every detail within the moment from the way Max’s shirt falls, showing off his build and of course the hip piercings. He sees how the veins pop out of his arms where one keeps him balanced and the other connects him to the board. The blue eyes take note in the way his eyes narrowly stare down and the way his jaw tightens signaling pure concentration. As if counting the seconds himself, he makes a mental record of 7 seconds before the skater breaks form and continues his round.

 

Taking a moment to look at Bradley’s expression, he decides to use the vert to fake missing a trick, landing a knee slide. Instantly getting back up to reach enough momentum, Max finishes by copying what the other skater did before him.

 

“And that’s how it’s done,” Max announces with a smug look, bowing slightly. 

 

While PJ and Bobby exclaim, Bradley nods his head. The small gesture evident that the older admits Max is the better skater. Sitting down next to the brunet, the lightskin grabs a water bottle to drink from.

 

“I know you staged that miss,” Bradley says, focusing on PJ take his turn on his bike. He always enjoys when the biker is out on the grounds, especially on his bike. He makes the tricks look easy.

 

“Then I guess it’ll be our little secret,” Max replies, doing the same.

 

“Was you copying my last moves necessary?”

 

“Of course it was.”

 

The younger gets back up cheering when PJ finishes. Bradley lets the trio do their thing, always appreciating how they support each other. Finally, Bobby’s turn came. Trusting the bigger man with his camcorder, he sets off, his style on the blades more intense than usual. 

 

After a full day at the skatepark, the four of them skate down to Bean Scene to meet Mocha. They begin to settle in just in time to watch her in her poetic performance. Now that the five of them are together, they make their way to the woman’s place to practice for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 43: No Chapter </3

 

 

 

Hey guys! sorry this isn't a chapter. Also, happy Black History Month!! 

 

Last week has been something for sure. It was the 2nd week of the semester so I'm still trying to adjust to all my classes and what not.

 

On Tuesday I fell down the stairs in one of the campus' buildings. That was really embarrassing cause I was heading to my class on the first floor and everyone was leaving their previous class 😔I absolutely wanted to disappear but I held myself together.

 

I'm alright thankfully don't think I broke anything (I don't think I'd be walking if I did lol) My legs are scraped up and are now bruised. My arm and side were also hurting but now there's hardly any pain so that's really good again. 

 

I also got a job finally!! it's a campus job so I won't be too busy. It's a custodial assistant type job and I'll be working in the mornings. Basically I'll be making sure all the classrooms and bathrooms are ready for the day. I'm really glad I got this job, I've been stressing about getting one for so long so now I got one yay!! 

So although there is no chapter today I wanted to wish everyone a wonderful day and a wonderful week. I'll be praying for everyone's health. See you next week!

 

 

Chapter 44: 36-New Perspective

Notes:

Hey guys!! here is a new chapter, hope y'all like it ^^

 

I started my job Friday and let me just say, it ain't so bad. I work everyday this week before my classes lol. I literally now start my days at 4 in da morning cause I work at 6 and I gotta walk to campus.

 

I also want to apologize because I feel like I'm now fumbling this story so bad and now I don't know what to write. But I still promise to end it, even if it's a really crappy transition/ending (I have high hope the ending will be fire)

 

also I'm doing much better after my fall lol. That ao3 (/wattpad?? /author???) curse type shi aint finna get me y'all. The amount of times I almost died out here lol

 

anyways, onto today's chapter!!

 

Song- New Perspective by Panic! At The Disco

 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5psEUJWeJU2BiOYyWdjgxZ?si=0f892e0f7576411f

Youtube: https://youtu.be/d3sA5plF6kE?si=8S7aMDRlFHwaSxZL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Briar finds herself standing outside an 18+ club named 'So Last Year' Lounge on a Friday night. Checking her phone one last time, she makes her way behind the building and finds herself looking at an old van. Staying calm, she calls her brother, who eventually opens the door of the building.

 

“Sorry, that’s Bobby’s van,” Bradley mentions.

 

“I wasn’t worried about the van,” she says, fixing her glasses. “This is an interesting place to meet you at though. And your outfit.”

 

Looking down at himself, he gets flustered. “Oh yeah, it’s a style I’ve been trying.”

 

“You look like a different person. I like it Braddles.”

 

Before the brother can say anything, a voice shouts from behind him. “Braddles huh? Cute nickname.” Turning around, it was of course Bobby. His relaxed voice tells Bradley he’s not teasing, but he definitely said it loud enough for the rest of the band to hear.

 

“Right, I guess you’re meeting all my friends actually.” The realization finally hits him, making him nervous.

 

“And what better way than starting of with me!” the ginger stands next to his friend and gently grabs Briar’s hand. Placing a kiss on her knuckles, he introduces himself. “The names Bobby.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Bobby.” The woman is amused watching her brother give his friend a death glare.

 

After getting Bobby to move, the three of them make it to where the rest of the group is.

 

“Alright,” Bradley clears his throat, gaining the bands attention. “Well, this is my sister, Briar.” Gesturing, he moves to stand in the middle of her and the others. “And these are my friends, PJ, Mocha, and Bobby again.” In that moment he notices the singer gone. “Wait where’s Max?”

 

“He left a while ago,” PJ answers. “It’s real nice meeting you Briar.”

 

“The pleasure is all mine.” She watches her little brother.

 

“He left? Where did he go?” 

 

“He said something about getting a spare change of clothes. He should be here soon.” the drummer reassures.

 

As soon as the stress rises within the brunet, the back door swings open. Everyone puts their attention on the grungey man that’s holding a duffle bag up in the air. 

 

“I’m back!” his smile is wide, showing off the gap between his two front teeth. Once he notices the extra person, he sets the bag down and heads over. “Shit sorry, thought I had more time.” Bradley jabs his elbow into the side of his rib. 

 

Briar only observes how they argue playfully while the rest of her brother’s friends talk to each other. A titter comes out, as she brings a hand up to cover her mouth. The sound alone gets the boy’s attention.

 

“I remember you, Max Goof was it?” she keeps a professional tone, but it’s laced with a sense of comfort.

 

“That’s me! Good to meet you, again.” Max ruffles his own hair, feeling a little tense.

 

“Now that the circumstances are different, it’s good to meet you again as well.”

 

“Ok, sorry to cut this short,” Bradley interrupts. “Why did you need extra clothes?”

 

“Well I figured your sister was just like you,” looking up at her, he switches his words around. “I mean, you’re just like her. So it’d be a good idea to get her dressed for the occasion too!”

 

“Are you serious?” Watching him nod, the older groans, feeling his thoughts spiral.

 

Taking control of the situation, Briar places a hand on Bradley’s shoulder. “That actually sounds fun. It’d definitely help me fit in more with the crowd.”

 

“See, she catches my drift!” Max only smiles grabbing the duffle bag.

 

“Don’t worry Braddles, I’ll be fine.” She follows Max, listening to him talk about the outfit he put together for her. Surprised to hear him ask her to wet her hair, she agrees, noting down that Bradley told him about her hair texture.

 

After she dresses herself, she stands in the sidelines. The brunette watches the band prepare for their performance, Bradley helping when he can. Mocha is the first to notice her, nodding her head when they make eye contact. Eventually the boys notice her too and they all compliment the look she wears. 

 

Getting closer to the performance, the siblings make their way to join the rest of the crowd. They stand near the center, then the lights dim. The Goof Troop finally make their entrance on stage. While the three on instruments finalize their setup, Max introduces them. Shortly after, the first cover they perform begins. The singer winks at the crowd, Bradley knowing who he is winking at exactly.

 

“So he’s the one?” Briar asks, bopping her head to the rhythm. 

 

“We’re really close,” Bradley responds embarrassed.

 

“That’s what you’re calling it?”

 

“That’s what we agreed to.” he keeps his eyes on Max, feeling his face heat up.

 

“I’m glad that you wanted to tell me.”

 

“Well I trust you.”

 

“And I’m proud of you.” 

 

Their conversation cuts short when everyone begins to clap, already hyped for the rest of the performance. Each song the band carries out brings more energy into the crowd. This time around, Briar sees a new side from Bradley that shows that he is actually happy. Growing to the vibe of the atmosphere, one Uppercrust lets loose and the other only appreciates the songs. 

 

Max only paying mind to Bradley feels a sense of accomplishment watching his other be comfortable in his skin. At first, he wasn’t sure if this plan of his would have worked. As he sings on stage, he realizes that all his antics wouldn’t have mattered because the older sister is the most supportive person the brunet has in his family. Although the make over wasn’t necessary, he’s still glad he thought of it, knowing everyone needs a persona sometimes.

 

Succeeding the performance The Goof Troop gives, Briar and Bradley make their way to the back again. The older steps back for a moment so her brother can have his moment with his friends. It was only until Max invites her to join in does she. She even helps the group load Bobby’s van up with their instruments so they have more time to enjoy the other performances.

 

Starting off as a group of six, they eventually break off. PJ and Mocha spend time together dancing while Bobby decides to mingle, leaving Max with the Uppercrust siblings. For the most part, the youngest vibes to the music playing, dragging Bradley with him whenever he gets the chance. Once the young man is no longer tense, he invites Briar to join. They only talk about the music, knowing now is not the time or place to discuss other things.

 

After all the shows, they part ways with Bradley being the only one to leave with his sister. He wishes Max could’ve joined them, however he knows he’ll come to see them later. Briar appreciates that she’ll have one on one time with her brother to double the fact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 45: CHAPTER 36 OUTFITS

 

HEY GUYS AGAIN!!

 

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ADD THE PHOTOS FOR THIS WEEKS CHAPTER

I WAS AND STILL AM EXCITED TO SHOW YALL WHAT I CREATED SO HERE IT IS

 

I DECIDED TO ADD THEM AS A WHOLE NEW CHAPTER FOR THE ONES WHO MIGHT'VE ALREADY READ 

 

 

For them, not much of their style changes, Mocha and PJ have couple rings tho!! Bobby has a mullet yessss and he cut one of his own shirts for the croptop

 

For Brair, she's a Boss lady of courseee, she's also just like Bradley, the watch stays on lol. Max put a lot of thought into this (all his clothes btw!!) and he's glad her work shoes match the fit loki.

 

Bradley styled himself!! He had to represent his fav band lol. He also gifted Max his older Doc Marten's because he wanted a new pair and Max wanted to own a pair himself!!

 

 

 

I really had fun with this so I hope you all love it

 

ALSO ALSO!! aaehins on tiktok and twitter made what is now the new cover art for wattpad and the spotify playlist!! thank you so much. It's the scene from ch 33- I hate everyone but you. I absolutely love it so don't forget to show them some support!

Chapter 46: 37-this is what forever feels like

Notes:

Hey guys!! here's this weeks chapter!!

 

Song- this is what forever feels like by JVKE ft Nick Jonas

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3uTsiaNxy6h6EAd7MsCf9D?si=d3bd74bb8ae54eaa

Youtube: https://youtu.be/857oh7Y2_rA?si=_C3Je8etiloTCK4r

 

Fun fact: Nick Jonas was one of my first celeb crushes that my family openly knew about and teased me for. I have a core memory of being home alone and watching a Nickelodeon award show or smt and he was speaking about his type 1 diabetes. I cried so hard that day lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ride to the brother’s place is pleasant and filled with talk about the well-being of each other since the last time they had talked in person. Once the car is parked in front of the victorian house, Bradley welcomes his sister in, directing her to his room. They keep conversations light as they take accessories and make up off. Giving her lounge clothes to wear, he takes the time to also change out of his clothes while she changes in the bathroom.

 

Briar joins him on his bed and they sit in silence for a while. She takes the time to look around, taking interest in his room. Bradley checks his phone when it vibrates, a small smile forming.

 

“How long until he shows up?” she opens.

 

“He said an hour,” he sets his phone down, giving his sister his full attention.

 

“Tell him he can come sooner,” the older insists, Bradley obliging. “So, what else have you told him about me?”

 

Rubbing his neck, he replies sheepishly. “He basically knows everything, about everyone.”

 

“You two are that close already?”

 

“It’s.. complicated.”

 

“Tell me about him then.”

 

Bradley describes Max the best way he knows how. She sees the way his blue eyes sparkle and how his voice goes a little soft when talking about the young man. Then he tells her about how they met and the wager they created. Briar continues to listen with amazement seeing how his brother went from rivals to what he is now with not just Max, but the entire group. 

 

For about 15 minutes, the conversation was solely about Max when suddenly a knock on the sliding door scares them both. They turn their direction to that area seeing a dark figure with baggy clothes.

“Damn it,” Bradley mumbles, catching his breath. He stands up walking towards his porch. “It’s just Max, don’t worry.” Opening the door, he stops the man from speaking. “The door is available you know.”

 

“I already told you I like entering from here though,” Max smiles. As if on cue, Bradley caves, letting him into the room. Waving at his sister he whispers rather loudly. “Am I allowed to hold your hand, Braddles?”

 

“You-” he looks away flushed. 

 

Laughing, Briar joins the conversation. “It’s a cute nickname for him isn’t it?”

 

“I never even knew he had a nickname. We just call him Brad for short, and that took a while for him to get used to.”

 

“He was the same way with Braddles, but I knew he secretly liked it.” While the two of them bond over teasing Bradley, the brunet stands there, more embarrassed than ever. Seeing her little brother acting that way, she switches the topic. “To answer your question though, you can do whatever makes you both comfortable while I’m here.”

 

“Oh in that case!” Max places a kiss on the other’s cheek. 

 

The more quiet man rests the palm of his hand on his cheek as the two talk. For a moment, he is dazed, watching his sister get along with the skater. He never thought that he would be acting the way he is now. Bradley finally grasps at the fact (again) that Max is the only person who could make him feel these ways.

 

The three of them play Monopoly while eating the pizza they ordered. The lightskin sadly goes bankrupt the first round, although he was the one who explained how to play it. The second- and final- round, Max makes a mental note that he’s playing with two people who know all about the business world. The game continues until Briar checks her watch.

 

“This was your idea wasn’t it, Max?” The woman finally brings it up, assisting in the clean up.

 

“Which part?” he thanks her when she returns his things nicely folded and stacked. 

 

“Me coming out here Friday night.” She takes a look at Bradley as he takes his time putting the game board away.

 

“Yeah, that was all me.” He follows her eyes and coos seeing the perfectionist.

 

“I already had a good impression of you, but thank you for trying.”

 

“I don’t know why but when Brad asked if I wanted to meet you, I thought of everything I could do to impress you, or something.”

 

“I think that’s a good thing. And maybe you just wanted to impress him.”

 

Her words hit him like a train. “Are you some kind sidekick?”

 

“I work in financing, but I also dabbled in psychology when I went to college.”

 

“That actually makes so much sense.” 

 

“So, will I see you tomorrow?”

 

“Tomorrow?” Max looks at Bradley approaching finally. “That’s up to you two, don’t want to intrude in some sister-brother bonding time.”

 

“Just say your sick of me then,” the taller taps in rolling his eyes. Trying to find the right words, the goof cannot tell if he was joking around or not. When both Uppercrusts’ laugh, he huffs out a small pout. “I’m going to walk her out, I’ll be right back.”

 

“Alright, bye Briar.”

 

“Bye Max, looking forward to seeing you again.”

 

The second the bedroom door closes, Max throws himself onto Bradley’s bed. Tightly closing his eyes, both spotty hands cover his face. It’s a long time until the older comes back into the room. His breathing steady while listening to the shuffles of his other. Even when the bed dips, the younger makes no movement. 

 

Bradley being confused on Max’s sudden behavior, moves his hands away from his face. It is only when he cups the youngers cheek to shift his head to the side does he open his brown eyes.

 

While the older scans his face, Max tries to make out his. His eyes feel heavy and the man that is in front of him is only a blurry image. Giving the broad man a reassuring smile, Bradley sighs thinking everything is alright. While the well-kept man finishes his routine before bed, Max situates himself on the bed the best he could, asking the other to turn the lights off. Finally returning to bed, Bradley continues to stare at the shorter. 

 

“What’s going on Max?” he urges.

 

“What makes you think something’s going on?” Max hums, eyes not opening.

 

“For one, your not looking at me. You’re usually more.. touchy. You didn’t take your shirt off like usual to sleep. You typically play music while I get ready for the night. You’re very talkative before we sleep, especially after a gig you do. And I’d expect you to be more talkative now after the time we had with my sister.” Before letting the younger speak, he adds one more point. “You also tease, a lot, and when I turn my back to you, you always hold onto me.. saying you love me.” The last part he murmurs.

 

At a loss for words, he purses his lips. “I’m just tired?”

 

“Yeah right.”

 

Groaning, Max comes clean, looking straight at the blurry image of Bradley. “This was gonna happen someday but it’s so embarrassing.”

 

“You acting like this is embarrassing.”

 

“Ouch, don’t hurt my poor feeling.” he gives a pout, trying to joke.

 

“Just spill it out already.” Bradley yawns.

 

“I need glasses.” When there was no reply, the slender man explains. “After the show things started to get a little blurry. I thought after a while of walking in the dark things would’ve been fine, but that’s never the case with me so I brought my glasses just in case.” Met with more silence, he squints his eyes, trying to see Bradley’s expression. Ultimately giving up, he groans and rolls onto his back eyes closed. “They’re in my bag.”

 

A few shuffles later Max feels his glasses being put on. Opening his eyes, he finally sees (after a few blinks) Bradley on top of him with a more wicked grin than usual.

 

“Now you really do look like a goof,” the older snorts.

 

“Yeah, whatever. Get your laughs in. I don’t wanna hear it for the next few days or weeks.”

 

“Ok, so you knew you should have worn your glasses way before you got here, but chose to walk in the dark with your dangerous vision. You even climbed up a damn tree, for what? The thrill of the risk?”

 

“My vision wasn’t that bad! Monopoly just killed me.”

 

“Next time you’re using the front door, four eyes.” Laying down again, Bradley takes the glasses and sets them on his nightstand. After a period of silence, he snickers. “I can’t believe you actually have glasses.”

 

“It’s all fun and games until you have asthenopia.” Max grumbles, reaching for the olders waist to hold instinctively.

 

“How come I’m only hearing about this now though?”

 

“Well I usually wear contacts for school when this happens. The glasses are only for the house or when I go somewhere not school related.”

 

“Why didn’t you put contacts in then?”

 

“I don’t have anymore with me.”

 

“From now on I want to see you in your glasses.”

 

“Only because you demanded it, prince.”

 

“Again with the prince?”

 

“That’s just what you are, your royal highness.”

 

“Well here’s a little encouragement. You might look like a dork with the glasses-”

 

“Oh so encouraging.”

 

“I wasn’t finished. You might look like a dork with the glasses, but you’re still a.. cool dork who’s..” he groans mumbling, “probably the best skater here..”

 

“Did you just verbally admit I out bested you in skateboarding?” 

 

“You won’t be hearing it again.” 

 

Max chuckles. “I love you.” 

 

“Goodnight dork.”

 

Notes:

I wanted to let y'all know that the next ch will be the last.

I know it's so sudden but if I don't at least start it now, I'll forget about it and this fic won't be getting anywhere.

I plan on making it longer than 1.5k but we'll see.

Since college and work life take up alot of my time, I don't know when I'll finish the chapter, but I thank you all for being so patient.

I want to go through and update the tags because I feel like a lot of things I thought I would write about weren't exactly that, so let me know what y'all think some of the tags should be taken out/added in

Finally I did just say idk when last chapter will be out but it won't be next week for sure because I have a trip coming up to learn more about God .

Anyways, Stay safe everyone, try to balance your academics/work with personal life, and of course get some good rest!!

Chapter 47: Check in!

 

 

Hey guys! 

 

I know this isn't the update y'all were waiting for but I just wanted to do a little check in, see how everyone is doing. I feel like that would encourage me to write the finale.

For me, it's been up and down, mainly ups though. I'm currently trying to move out of this apartment/dorm and get into off campus housing, which I already signed a lease and move in is next saturday, buuuuut university housing is a lil sketchy when it comes to cancelations.. I'm still trying tho! Next week I also will be going on a week trip to dive deep into Mark 1 and deepen my faith with God. I won't get into that too much because I know not everyone is religious, but if you do want to talk about it let me know! I also really love learning more about other religions. 

 

I quite literally started writing the last chapter yesterday.. throughout the days, I would always think about it but I've just been so burnt out with work and school, and personal life. To clarify, I'm not burnt out from writing, just from doing anything! I don't even read my webtoons anymore, but I plan on catching up with them soon.

 

Same goes for Dear Journal! My goal is to have the last chapter complete in 2-4 weeks. 

 

But besides that, how has your guy's life been? Anything fun happening?

Chapter 48: Update for my readers

 

 

 

Hey guys! 

I literally disappeared for 3 whole months, I am so sorry!!! 

I completely realized how tiring life is and deliberately pushed the last chapter to the side 😭😭😭

 

Anyways I eventually finished this spring semester with good grades so that was a load off my back!

A week after I finished the final chapter of this story. Unfortunately, I kept putting off uploading it with the excuse of not having a title. Truth is (besides that) is that I loki am going to miss uploading. Now I have waited too long that my summer courses have finally started and I've been swamped with getting assignments completed in such a short about of time. (if you don't know how summer sessions work in college, people typically take 1-2 courses and those courses last 4-6 weeks and can start on seperate dates ie. June 2, July 2, and july 16- those are the dates specific classes start for my college I believe) 

Thankfully both my classes are both 4 weeks long and started June 2nd and I'll be finished on the 26th!! Unfortunately that means grinding extra hard after work for a few hours. On top of that, I'll be taking on another job for the college. I'll basically be a mentor for the program I did last summer which is so exciting. 

When I thought of that it brought me a bittersweet emotion because it really has been a year since starting Dear Journal. Literally June 22-29 of last year I was writing for chapters of this story on my free time during the program and now I'll be uploading the last chapter after the program ends.

 

To summarize! The final chapter will drop on the last Sunday of this month, June 29th. I am extremely grateful for everyone's support as well as honored to have written something people have grown to like/love or even dislike/hate.  Of course it's not perfect but I am happy that I get to finally call myself a "published" writer! 

 

Of course, I would love to hear from everyone else! please comment!!

 

 

See you soon,

                  jkkillian

 

Chapter 49: 38-The Great Escape

Notes:

We made it to the final chapter of Dear Journal. It's the longest at a whopping 3787 words (average is 1k, sorry they be so short). also sorry for this long list of links in advanced

I can't believe it to be honest, but all I can say is that I'm really proud that I have something out there, as goofy as it is (I had to do it)

I'm also really happy to have met you readers, whether you comment or not, it was you all that made me want to continue this.

It's also so beautifully heart wrenching when I randomly check tik tok and people make art about my headcannons/ this goofverse's hcs. I often find myself going "Wait people like what I'm yapping about?!" It's so fun honestly! Keep the goofverse fandom going, it'll reach my fyp I promise!!

When the day comes, I do wish y'all will stick by I decide to make more authentically original works with my own OCs- That's goal for this little hobby, as well as getting better at writing. As of lately I have been swamped with life, so we'll see!

I hope you all enjoy this series finale!!

 

Song- The Great Escape by BOYS LIKE GIRLS

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/56Tl3UgyZTqfZtvFNS31wm?si=3d9e55f4c1b74daa

Youtube: https://youtu.be/JGPgxoIPY6Q?si=coXncALarO5JyXI9

PS- I also added 3 BTS songs to the playlists cause I love BTS and I really wanted to have a BTS song as a title, but I could never find the perfect time to add one as a title, so enjoy the three songs if you'd like

Magic Shop-

S: https://open.spotify.com/track/37nOpaUof3d4Xsmr6moAiI?si=b1881cc8345e4bb9

YT: https://youtu.be/XRe9Vt-HIAY?si=F-KIgSaizRnSz0Gg

Mikrokosmos-

S: https://open.spotify.com/track/0jSccBRnhNU4KtACMQPvco?si=3fa72b7985444a67

YT: https://youtu.be/FEr1TzAr2-0?si=bBFz09dhZzOkFca8

Best of Me-

S: https://open.spotify.com/track/3xYfDSxJhRLDIb1fw71WTw?si=68a9d64fbd28472f

YT: https://youtu.be/5EHv9e-Qt-E?si=mEPfU46Mkgc2uSYp

Links to Dear Journal Playlist:

Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3d8qXSq7vfasVPbOhBwt8d?si=3520918842124d84

Youtube- https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYwJnxN9UMnhWFH-FfBGqynmkEZKWLcpQ&si=ULq3qA0R1mObeRVV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘04/07/2003’

 

‘Dear Journal,

It’s truly been a while- three years. Quite a lot has happened.  2000 in itself was such a crazy phenomenon. I almost became a murderer, for the sake of winning a dumb competition, and then I almost died, deservingly. After a while, my fake tooth ended up getting chipped. Someone close to me convinced me to not get it fixed. 

I made friends with people I never thought I would be friends with. After all, they were my.. “enemies” for half a year. Honestly, we became close quickly, it shows how kind each one of them are. They have been a good influence on me and a good support system. I would spend most of my time with them. I do miss the performances from them. 

I decided to leave the Gammas for good late summer of 2000. There was honestly no reason for me to stay. I was also eyeing a place to rent out, so it worked out well. The guys took the news really well, after failing to convince me to stay. I relearned that I didn’t need to be in an official “team” to enjoy sports, which genuinely made me happier. I do miss the events that I planned, but with this new friend group, I do more hands-on volunteering, which I feel is 10x better, more rewarding. Leaving the Fraternity had a lot to do with my.. now boyfriend.

Our relationship is such a miracle, considering how we started and where we are now. Who would believe that the one I had such a rival with is also the one I fell for. We’ve had our ups and downs, and I mean bad downs, but he has never given up on me, on us. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot from him, or else this relationship should be toxic by now.

Backtracking, that September of 2000, I went to a powwow with my boyfriend and his family. It was the day before my father’s birthday. Never knew he was Native American, but I suppose it makes a lot of sense. He tried to explain it to me, but he didn’t really know how. His dad ended up explaining it with certain rules to follow. It was really nice to witness. Max only wanted to stay by my side, but I wanted to see him in the dance area, so he ended up going, and didn’t come back for a while. I got to record him thankfully. At first someone told me I couldn’t take photos or videos, but Goofy came and told her that he gave me permission as long as it’s just his son. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I would have known about powwow. It’s such a rich experience that celebrates their rich culture.

Max and our friends really made my birthday feel remarkable special in 2000. I kinda stopped celebrating my birthday due to my father. There was that party in ‘99 the Gammas threw for my 21st, but that was more of just an excuse to have a party. They hosted a “gourmet brunch cooking.” They all cooked me one of my favourite foods essentially. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I walked in (it still was). It was a good thing I did though, some of them needed the guidance (Max and Bobby) and it felt like I was running some kind of restaurant. They did a little fashion show after where I criticked, it was such a fun day, they really catered to me.

Max’s birthday in 2001 was interesting. I can’t really explain it but I feel like it was more for me than him, and that made his day feel more special? That’s what he said at least. I remember taking him fine dining, and of course celebrating with his friends. For a “present” I “allowed” him to tell the rest of them that we were what we called it at the time close. We did talk about it before and all I told him as that he can label us however he wants to when telling them, but he was so respectful with his choice. It really made me fall deeper in love with him. I did get him a new board that he was eyeing too.

The 2001 X-Games I was admittedly upset I couldn’t participate, especially since it was my last year. I have no one to blame but myself, although it was also kinda relieving. I got to reflect and remember what it feels like to genuinely enjoy a sport, even if I was just watching it.  Needless to say, I was rooting for Team 99. It was absolutely amazing watching them win that year, and for the next few years.

I finally graduated spring of 2001, it was a moment filled with many mixed emotions. Way before the ceremony, I spent a lot of time applying for law school. The whole ceremony was stressing to me since I didn’t know if I’d be accepted. On top of that, I was really anxious with my parents being in the same crowd with my friends and my boyfriends family. It did go well, really well that it made me painfully skeptical. I felt had more.. support from them in that day than I have from my parents my whole life. A few days after graduating, I got the letter from State University Law School. I got in, it was such a relieving moment that I fell into Max’s arms and cried for a bit.

Upon telling my father over the phone, the excitement faded for that moment. One thing really came clear to me though, I needed a job to provide for myself. I didn’t need to, but I knew I needed to, to prepare myself, to be independent.

Since I do have an exercise physiology degree, I was able to get a good job as an clinical exercise physiologist intern. I didn’t think I would like it, but Max really spoke about it in such an.. inspiring way. I actually never thought I would enjoy helping people in this setting as much as I thought I would. I still do want to be a lawyer for athletes. I know I also wanted to help athletes with physical therapy, but I only really meant big time athletes. This job has really helped me grow and appreciate so many people from young kids and adults learning to regain their strength to older adults (and often a few kids and teens) with chronic conditions or bad health. I did get promoted, so I’m no longer an intern, and I honestly don’t know if I want to quit this job.

Besides that, Me and Max celebrated our one year of technically being together after his dad’s birthday. Then one random day, June 27th we talked about “making us official.” I did bring it up first because I felt like we could have been more. Him being the man he is expressed how much he’s been waiting for this day. So now our anniversary is June 27th. We’ll be celebrating three years now. 

The next month I eventually sat all my siblings down to tell them about my sexuality and boyfriend. Briar already knew about all this, which made the other two a little salty, but they understood why. Honest, I was expecting rejection, but we got to talk about my birthday in ‘93. That day was so  long ago, but it is still such a traumatic memory. I was more shocked that it was brought up when I was telling them I have a boyfriend. Robin apologized for being too harsh on me and Alina apologized for what I’m assuming treating me the way she did. I really wasn’t expecting to cry, but then again, I also wasn’t expecting my boyfriend to “coincidentally” be in the restaurant with his friends either. The surprise on Robin’s and Alina’s face seeing who he was did make me laugh. After clarifying why I was crying to Max, I started to explain how we became a thing to the three of them, with him butting in. Eventually they came to verbally affirm they support me, which again, was something I was not expecting.

The next step was telling my parents. Their reactions were half anticipated. I waited until early 2002’s to tell them, that way I could reassure my finances were up to date and in my name, no strings attached to the Uppercrust name. Max being the man he is, refused to let me go alone, so he drove me up to Philidelphia. I convinced him to stay in the car thankfully. I believe this was the first time I initiated a conversation towards my parents with such authority, particularly towards my mother. There was no need to sit down so I told them as soon as their full attention was on me. My father was clearly furious, cursing me out, disowning me, and getting a slap or two in. I already prepared for that, so I stayed relatively unfazed, eyes on my mother. 

For once she actually noticed me. When Robert left, we got to have a genuine conversation. Her words still linger in my head so vividly. “I was always disappointed in you, and I might always be, but in this moment, I am pleased with you.” Such a bittersweet moment, hearing what you always wanted to hear, far too late. I asked her why she’s more pleased at me coming out than at any of my efforts throughout my life and her response was, “you should’ve been a girl, at least then you would have had my attention, but you ended up being a boy. It’s not your fault, but I can’t pretend to like a kid I never wanted. I could undoubtedly tell you were gay, even after your father tried to hide it, so it’s refreshing to see you stand up for yourself instead of continuing to suffocate yourself to please your father.” I finally got to tell her that I wasn’t trying to please him but her. I got to tell her that it didn’t matter if she wanted me or not, but it was cruel for her to disregard me like that. She only looked up at me, listening. She did end up apologizing, hoping that this was the closure I needed. She also mentioned that she sees how much my siblings care for me, to try to look at a positive, which is a huge positive. I might no longer take the Uppercrust name, but they are still my family and they care so much for me. The last thing my mother said was that she may not understand the “gay feeling” but it’s proof that I really should have been a girl, and “It’s all the same to me though, people will disagree with whoever you date, whether girl or boy.” Although it hurt, I often always thought the same. But who knew she would be a supporter on the downlow. I’m so glad I got to talk to her.

I never really went in depth of what happened with Max. He was upset that I let Robert hit me, especially on my face (his words, not mine). I genuinely didn’t care at that moment, I was physically free from it all. I had him drive to Briar’s place since it was getting late. It was fun watching Max interact her husband, Kris. He clearly wasn’t expecting an African-American man, but it wasn’t a shock to him either. I think that’s what got them to be comfortable around either as quick as it happened. (Besides the fact that they both like Powerline). I do hang out with all my siblings often, but Briar is still the closest to me, so we do spend the most time together out of the three. Off topic but I should make a trip down to Philadelphia soon, I’m kind of missing Kris’ restaurant. 

Max did end up interning as a high school fitness coach, which was a step closer to his career goal. It was then that we really didn’t see each other that much as we both had classes and then some type of job after our classes, on top of the goof troop gigs. We really only had time in the evenings, but I would be focused on my studies. Max understood, but I think I might have overreacted a bit because of it. 

Of course we talked about it (eventually) and the main problem was because he wouldn’t visit me, thinking I needed the space (fair point). When I told him I rather have him with me than spending so much time with his friends. We both pointed out how contentious I sounded. As embarrassing as it was, he had to point out that I was the one isolating myself from the group. What was even more embarrassing was that I took it in the worse way possible. I ended up taking out my stress on him, and then he did the same back. This was our first major argument that we’ve had in a while.

We did end up apologizing and explaining ourselves. It’s so funny that the ultimate reason was that our places were farther than we thought, so neither of us really wanted to go to the others. That and that I just wanted to have alone time with just him time to time. After communicating, we agreed to put more effort into each other,  meaning more dates instead of just studying or staying in bed. I didn’t realize that going on dates would’ve helped save our relationship, but it did.

During winter break of 2002, we sat down to create a plan as we are both graduating this spring. Our plan involved a lot of house and job research. I’m still thinking about keeping this job, but I also have an opportunity to work for a nonprofit helping athletes called ‘Next in Motion.’ Looking back at their mission statement. I feel like I could definitely see myself utilizing all my degrees working here. The main reason I’m tied is that I’ve became attached to what I’m doing now. Thankfully writing about it has helped me come to my senses. Starting after graduation, I’ll be working for Next in Motion.

With Max, he felt a little stuck. He’s choosing to take the full time position as a high school fitness coach. He does like working with kids, which surprised us both. I told him to pitch the idea of adding a calisthenics training course, he has yet to tell me how that goes. 

With housing, we decided to stay in Ohio, still in State City but about 25 minutes from Spoonerville this time. It’s a 2 bed 2 bath townhouse, perfect for the both of us. We’ll be renting for now until we make enough money to buy our own place. We’re actually moving soon- before our graduations in May. 

I’m actually packing my belongings up now when I found this. Ironically, I had just enough space to finish this entry with only one page left. Since 1985, you have been good to me journal, but this will be my last entry. For some reason that makes me sad. Maybe it’s because there’s one page left, but I won’t have room for anything there. Maybe I’ll buy another, just for the memories.

… Thank you.’

A smile forms on pierced lips, reading the last two entries in the gray book. The young man finds himself feeling proud. As Max is seated among a pile of boxes, He looks through the one that was already open with the journal. 

 

“Max?” A sharp voice sounds from the front door of their townhouse. “We’re almost done bringing everything in, where the hell did you go?” 

 

“In the restroom, baby!” he shouts, from the bedroom. To sell it he grunts, “sorry, suddenly my stomach wasn’t feeling to well!”

 

“Gross,” Bradley rolls his eyes. “You’re lucky, the last of it isn’t anything heavy.”

 

Finally finding a pen from the box, he fixes himself back on the empty page, starting of with the date. 

 

‘05/03/2003’

 

‘Dear Journal,

Hey there, it’s Max! hope he doesn’t mind i’m using the last page for him. I mean he did say he wasn’t going to write on it. For the record, I love my boyfriend. I’m so glad that we pair with each other better than we ever thought. Right now we’re moving all our things in our new spot. The next step is a housewarming party, which Brad says is essential. anything for him tho. We almost finished moving things in but I couldn’t help but notice this beautiful silver book peeking out from one of the boxes. He’s going to be mad once he finds out I’m taking the time to write this instead of helping him, but let’s just call it pay back for making me move out all his things from his old spot.

When I found this journal, I had just won the x-games with my friends and I could still feel the thrill from it all. Yet for some reason I was thinking about Brad. Maybe it’s cause my dad raised me right, but I genuinely felt bad about what happened to him. I tried to visit him in  the hospital, that’s when I met his sister Briar. I was skating down a street when this book almost caused me a date with the pavement. 

I never intended to read it, honest! it pains to say Bradley knows how to write, but I think that’s what makes a diary or journal special, it’s raw. As I would read, I would feel the emotions he wrote down and a part of me only wanted to shield him from the world. I actually started calling this mysterious person Dustin because it means “brave warrior” because clearly whoever was writing this had to be someone strong to continue on with his life. No one is perfect and Bradley has done many things wrong. But to see him change is proof that people can change. I’m also really glad that he got the condolence he needed with his mom. I know how it feels to not have a mom who doesn’t love you. 

Final notes!- It’s fun to see that he finally used names. The mysterious vibes definitely gave this a lot more depth than you’d imagine. I’m a little surprised he was able to not out anyones names for so long. 

I took his advice and my boss likes the idea of a calisthenic course, as long as it’s nothing too extreme (I believe in these kids!) I for sure am going to love this job 10x more. 

You smile so much more now. Your smile is so beautiful. Please don’t stop smiling. I mean it’s hard not to smile when I’m around, I’m actually so hilarious. Seriously though, That damn smile might be the death of me.

Consider this a proposal, but I am marrying this man. After all he always tells me that there’s no way in hell I’m leaving him. alr I think that’s all.’ 

 

Setting the journal down on the nightstand in the middle of the room, Max makes his down the stairs, almost colliding with his lover. Stopping himself, he takes the box from his hands. 

 

“There you are, that one goes upstairs,” Bradley smiles, seeing the toothy grin from the goof. 

 

“Yessir!” he places a kiss on the older’s cheek. “It’s so refreshing to finally be the taller one.”

 

“I still can’t believe you had another growth spurt,” shooing him upstairs, the tanned man makes his way to the front door. 

 

“Don’t grab anything else!” Max exclaims. “I got the rest”

 

“Thanks honey, I’m going to start unpacking the kitchen!”

 

Since this morning their day has been busy with moving and arranging their house. With Bradley taking the lead, they were able to finish setting their place up quickly, with the exception of the guest bedroom and bathroom. 

 

When putting their room together, the now shorter man undoubtedly notices his journal out in the open. Shooting a glare at Max, the younger avoids eye contact setting up the bed frame. Sighing, he picks up the nightstand and sets it next to the almost complete bed frame, pushing the conversation to a later time.

 

Now evening, both men rest on the couch, listening to music. Max puts an arm around Bradley, marveling at their newly furnished house. Bradley resting his head on his shoulder and closes his eyes, a pleased smile on his lips. 

 

“I’m sorry I got distracted with your journal,” Max apologies.

 

“I forgive you,” Bradley responds. “You made up for it by moving all the heavy furniture.” 

 

“I’m glad,” the lightskin sighs. “Don’t be mad.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“You’ll find out if you’re curious enough.”

 

Bradley looks up at him, analyzing his facial structure. After a while, he stands up, making his way to their bedroom. Max gets up, deciding that cooking dinner would be the best option. 

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the poised man looks at the journal that continues to sit on the nightstand. He has a somber expression on his face, thinking about his past. Taking a deep breath, he shakes the feeling away, now focusing on the present. The book now in his hands, he turns to his last entry, reading it. 

 

Halfway through, Bradley’s curiosity dies down, trying to figure out what his boyfriend did. Being the persistent man he is, he continues to read. It’s when he turns to the last page that he realizes there is ink there. The writing none other than Max Goof. 

 

Multiple expressions cross his face as he reads the Goof’s entry, yet he can’t stop smiling. Max walks in to tell him dinner is ready but stops seeing the focus on his lover's face. As Bradley reads the last of the words written, a look of relief and gratitude plasters on his face. Grabbing a pen, he writes underneath Max’s entry. Max sits next to him reading as he writes. 

 

‘Bradley, I hope you know that what you’ve done is amazing. Being able to learn from past mistakes and move on from trauma. You still have a long road ahead of you and I’m here for you 110% of the way!

 

Xoxo, Max Goof.’

 

‘Maximilian, you have no idea how much I needed to see this. We’re stuck together, which means I’m here for you, 110% of the way as well.

 

With all my heart, Bradley.’

 

 

 

 

The end.

Notes:

You guys are free now 🥺❤️‍🩹

Notes:

Also as y'all can see, I will now be uploading every Sunday!