Quailtree
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Summary
Robert rubbed his temples. "Alright, polyamory. But—"
He hesitated.
"How does that work, exactly?"
Malevola sighed—then leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Alright, dumbass. Basic breakdown. Communication. Honesty. Boundaries."
"But like. I don't get it. You just get to...date and fuck whoever?"
"You're thinking way too black and white, idiot."
Sonar sighed. "That'd be the dream though. Infinite puss."
Malevola ignored him. "It's a lot more complicated than monogamous relationships. It's all about needs, desires, insecurities."
"But people are different. What if it doesn't match up?"
"Then you talk it out. Figure out compromises. Decide if you can meet those needs—or if you aren't compatible."
Robert stared at his phone. His thumb brushed over the background; Visi holding Beef.
"So. Now that we've educated you—what are you gonna do?"
"...I don't know."
***
The Z-Team were all bound to be together anyways.
A messy slow burn towards the Z-Team's kitchen table polycule, with fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, & smut along the way!
(HR hates them.)
Series
- Part 1 of Kitchen Table HR Violation
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,465
- Chapters:
- 17/?
- Comments:
- 329
- Kudos:
- 1,393
- Bookmarks:
- 308
- Hits:
- 25,614
Bookmarked by Quailtree
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
Early into Robert's time as a dispatcher, Flambae is hit by a temporary form of love magic that highjacks his senses and leaves him infatuated with the first person he interacts with. To Robert's terrible misfortune, that happens to be him. Now, he not only has to learn how to handle a supremely compromised Flambae, but survive the onslaught of ridicule from the rest of his team of ex-villains.
Robert has been through all sorts of bullshit before, but even this is new to him. Hopefully, he can weather the storm and get the old, bitchy Flambae back before the HR violations stack so high, they'll kill him if (or when) they come crashing down.
Bookmarked by Quailtree
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
Invisigal accidentally outs Robert as Mechaman in what she thinks is a private conversation with Blonde Blazer, not realizing that Flambae is close enough to overhear her.
Struggling to control his horrible temper, Chad goes to the gym to blow off steam and think…where he finds Robert trapped under the weights.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 75,339
- Chapters:
- 14/19
- Comments:
- 563
- Kudos:
- 2,681
- Bookmarks:
- 386
- Hits:
- 45,702
Bookmarked by Quailtree
27 Nov 2025
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Summary
Robert knows it's going to be a bad day before he even opens his eyes. He shouldn't be awake yet, the alarm on his phone hasn't gone off. It's the pain that woke Robert.
or:
Despite it being a bad pain day, Robert decides to go to work like normal. When he inevitably crashes, Z-Team's there to look out for him. Flambae's powers especially come in handy.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,978
- Chapters:
- 5/7
- Comments:
- 500
- Kudos:
- 3,697
- Bookmarks:
- 694
- Hits:
- 35,514
Bookmarked by Quailtree
24 Nov 2025
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Summary
First off, for the record, this whole accident happened because of that bitch Invisislut. It was all her fault. Flambae was simply trying to set one of his many discreet, and completely 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦, fires to gain a few extra points on the leader board (it wasn't because the store owner cheated him out of twelve bucks, fuck you) when she ruined everything.
So what if he was trying to burn down some shitty store? It wasn't like he was going to kill anyone, but nooooo, Invisigal just had to refuse to do her damn 𝘫𝘰𝘣 and follow Bobberts orders so 𝘩𝘦 had to pick up the slack and get sent to stop some stupid lab from being robbed.
Thus, leading to him getting a life-threatening virus and winding up here. In quarantine, shoulder-to-shoulder with fucking 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘴𝘰𝘯 of all people because of course the only other person he'd spread this virus to was that little fucking bitch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,565
- Chapters:
- 8/?
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 1,024
- Bookmarks:
- 204
- Hits:
- 15,104
Bookmarked by Quailtree
19 Nov 2025