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When I was seven years old
I saw a dead man in the road
Outside the liquor store a few blocks from my school
“Michael! Michael!” Will desperately yelled. But no one answered
Well people die every day
I wouldn't have it any other way
I just think they should feel good while they are alive
I went to school I got good grades
The next years he put all his time and energy into learning how to be a medic, he did everything learnt college level knowledge at just 14 years, he became head medic at 14 as well, he put everything into healing trying to save as many people as he could but he knew deep down if Death wanted them their was nothing he could do,
I don't know what you want me to say
But tell me faster, 'cause you're running out of time
He learned everything he could, but when he couldn’t save a camper the ones left blamed him all the same, he at some points blamed himself even more, he always tried to calm them down but sometimes it got …violent…
“Your supposed to be a doctor!” One camper yelled,
“I-I’m sorry I tried my best I-“
“Shut up!” The camper yelled and pulled out a dagger, they took it and made a large slash on his chest,
“Argh-“ Will tried to minimize his voice as much as possible because patients were sleeping,
“I-I-“ the Camper stammered before running out and slamming the door behind them,
“Fuck.” Will said, trying to walk over to his cabinets, he opened some to get supplies, he got out a needle some thread and bandages and antibiotics, as well as the nectar pills he made to save time and have a good measurement of how much to take,
“Argh-!” He bit down on his tounge and started sewing his wound, it was a large gash from a little below his neck to his belly button,
He took a piece of cloth and gagged himself
“Mmh!-“ he yelled muffled by the cloth as he continued to stitch, by the time he finished he was drenched in sweat, he passed out a few times out of pain, he didn’t have time for anesthetics,
“Huh Huh Huh…” he breathed as he wrapped up the stitches with bandages and some antibacterial gel,
I wanted to help people
I thought that I could save the sick
And if it's all the same to you
There's one more thing I gotta do
'Cause with God as my witness
You corporate fucking prick
I did not become a doctor just to suck the devils d—-
No…no no no no no…he yelled as he saw the boy bleeding out, he was only 8 he was ambushed,
“No please no!” Though Will didn’t know him personally he still felt like a knife was dragged into him,
“Please please please! Father please help me!” He prayed to his Father with all his heart,
He though maybe if his father heard his prays, if he was desperate enough maybe his father maybe Apollo would hear and help…he didn’t
The boys body was buried that night, he felt so stupid, he felt so stupid for believing that if he just thought loud enough his father would give a shit, he thought about the hundreds of times he’s prayed to his father for healing, and only ⅕ times he would care…
Will had lost yet another paitient, what kind of doctor was he when he can’t even save an 8 year old boy, completely inoccent,
He was angry not at his father not disappointed because deep down inside he knew the gods didn’t care and they new did, he and all the other half-bloods mortals they were all just pawns puppets for them to play with,
No. He was disappointed in himself, he was angry at himself, he asked he pleaded to his father to the gods, why? Weren’t parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally? Was he, was everyone not worth their time?
He thought back to the time before with his brothers, when he thought his dad was cool, when he could say he was happy, even with the conditions he was put in, he didn’t become a healer a medic a doctor just to see the people he loves holds dear and cares for drain away like water down a sink,
I made it through all four years
And then almost a decade more
I asked the right questions
I never even really got bored
Even after that he praised he pushed through and continued to work on his healing, he even tried archery and poetry,
He asked Chiron Questions about things like anatomy for other speicies he tried to put everything about him into his studies, he tried to make new camper feel welcome he tried to distract himself from the reality of his situation, he always wore a smile he had gotten so good that it even reached his eyes, but inside he was numb not because of anyone else, but because if he let his emotions out he wasn’t sure if he would ever stop crying, he couldn’t show weakness, he was the Apollo cabins counselor now he couldn’t show weakness, he never felt bored but he did feel tired, he was developing large dark circles from staying up at night to study or because of nightmares, he even asked one of the Aphrodite kids to help him with makeup, he said it was because of a pimple he had but he was sure the girl could see the bags,
People liked me back then
What can I say
He was always the bringer of bad news, soon people started associating him with death, he wasn’t completely upset about it, at least now they wouldn’t put so much bad assumptions on Nico…But then he thought back to when he was younger he was studying healing with his brothers getting pointers on his archery, people applauded his abilities they loved him they liked him they liked him back then,
They trickled into both my ears
It got louder over the years
Until all that I could hear was fucking flies
The ringing the buzzing the noise it was too loud but too quiet, another kid died, ANOTHER ONE!’ He thought as he held on so tight to his wrist it started bleeding, it always happened after a patient passed away he would curl up into a ball in the corner of the infirmary bathroom, he wanted to cry but perhaps he had dried up his tear ducts, he wanted to cry but his eyes betrayed him, so he just sat there in silence wondering when did he get so numb?
The silence sounded like ringing it was so loud he wanted to hide himself he wanted to cry and scream and kick and yell, but if he did he didn’t want to know what could happen,
Flash back__
His mother had married a man after he was born, he loved his mon, he wanted to be a doctor to make her better, to make her happy again,
But his stepdad…every time, the same words his mom would say to him, he now knew what they meant,
‘Will go upstairs ok? I have somethings I need to talk out with Greg? Make sure to put on music and use headphones and lock the door,’ he now knew what she was trying to do,
He left to camp at 7 every once in a while he would come home, when one day he came home a bit early,
“Ahh-please stop! Will will be here in a little- Will?” His mom…she was…she was hurt…Who dared to hurt his mother?! He was angry, but he knew who it was,
“You-your not gonna tell anyone about this- what are you doing?- step back-get away from me you freak-“ his stepdad yelled prepared to throw a punch when suddenly, he stopped and screamed,
“W-what the fuck is h-happening?!” He screamed as his throat started closeing up,
“Will! Don’t do this! Please! Don’t do this! It’s not right! Don’t become what you hate for such a stupid reason!” His mom pleaded which snapped him out of his trance just in time for him to undo the reaction he caused
“Oh my Apollo w-what did I-how did I?” He ran to the toilet and hurled out everything he had in him,
After the incident, he healed his mom and left before Greg woke up, he never visited again,
Flash back end—-
He was so caught up in his own delusions he didn’t even notice the door opening and a curtain dark haired son of hades walking in,
“Will?” Nico asked as he came closer,
“Don’t come any closer! Please I don’t know what I could do!” He told Nico too scared to yell because of his super sonic Whistle,
“What?” Nico asked in confusion
“I-I I don’t know I’m scared I don’t want to hurt people to hurt you I don’t know what to do, everything is cloudy I just don’t-“
Before he could finish Nico ran up and hugged him,
He was shocked but it knocked him back to his sense,
“Nico? Please…please don’t leave me…”
“I won’t as long as I can I’ll follow you and you’ll follow me? We won’t be alone anymore, I promise,”
The next day Nico caught the flu which Will blamed himself for,
“I’m so sorry. If you want to break up that fine I understand, I understand if you hate me or want to leave me it’s fine I’m perfectly fine I’m so so sorry-“
“Just shut up you dork, I’m not leaving anytime soon your stuck with me wheather you like it or not, anyways it’s just the flu quiet worrying so much you big worry wart!” Nico yelled and proceeded to cough
“Alright we’ll get some rest, ambrosia and nectar can heal some things but not everything so get some rest, I’ll be right here if you want anything,”
“Al…right…” Nico slurred before passing out,
“I love you Neeks…” he said quietly as he tucked a bit of Nicos hair behind his ear then sat down next to his bed, and proceeded to pass out as well,
Well people die every day
I wouldn't have it any other way
I just think they should feel okay while they are alive
How could they ever feel okay
When things are more and more this way
Sometimes it's like they'd rather die
He knew it he knew that even if he used ever cure under the sun if the fates decided it was their time if they wanted their soul there was nothing he could do, but now that he thought about it, he knew his outlook was wrong or at least felt like it should be wrong but he didn’t mind it anymore of course he hated to lose patients but he thought about it more as he got older, he wanted to focus on making sure their lives were healthy and good instead of crying over them once their gone, so he did he tried to make it good! He did everything he could, he tried making people laugh, but it seemed people were still weary about him approaching them,
He tried he really did until one curtain experience that made him feel as though yet another piece of his already smashed heart died
If was a morning like no other, he woke up and prepared to go to the clinic when he noticed something, one of his siblings were gone,
He ran out when he heard a faint far away scream,
He saw a terrible sight, his brother Terry he was bleeding large gashes on his stomach
“Terry!” He screamed and ran over to his brother
“Stay still I’ll get help-“
“No…it’s fine I-I can’t anyways, don’t do anything stupid, it’s ok,” he said gasps of breath slurring his words
“No I’ll heal you with my gift O-“
“It’s too late I’ve had an awesome time at camp…I…Huh…I really enjoyed camp…thanks for being…Huh…an awesome brother…and…counseler” he said before his body went limp,
“Terry? Terry?!” He silently cursed himself for not being able to do anything,
That night his body was buried,
It was almost like he wanted to die…no he didn’t want to…he was scared he didn’t want to bother me…it it’s all my fault if I just if I just If I was better if I want this useless!’ He thought,
I wanted to help people
I did my best
He was tired what was he even doing anyways? He was just delaying things, demigods Half-bloods no one cared about them, not even their own parents, if they cared why…how could they just stand by as their kids got slaughtered if they cared? He finally new what people meant, things are just never gonna change Gods would never care about us, he understood Luke, he understood why he did what he did, but he just wished there was a better way, but there never is…he was angry he was furious at everyone at the gods at other half-bloods at Chiron, everyone he was sick of it, doing all this work for nothing no recognition no nothing! He was sick of everything of Percy getting credit for things, he wanted to scream he wanted to shout he did his best he did all he could he did everything for everyone he tried cheering people up but…it never worked, it always led back to the same old place, Nico had better things to do than comfort a failed Doctor, he wanted to cry to shout to scream to curse to punch something, but he couldn’t so just like every time he just sat there in silence staring at the bathroom walls.