Work Text:
It's Valentine's Day.
Jackie is sitting on the bed eyeing the clock on her wall. It's half past seven, she should be on her way to school right now. Jeff should've been pulling up on her driveway twenty minutes ago to give her time to gather her stuff and go down the stairs. She has a system and he knows that.
It's Valentine's Day and Jeff hasn't called yet but maybe he just forgot but it's also their anniversary, so how could he?
The phone rings, and she rushes to answer it.
It must be him, calling to explain he's just running late, right?
The voice that reaches her isn't his, and for a moment her spirit drops. But then quickly lifts up again because the voice on the other end is sweeter and softer and sends butterflies fluttering in her stomach every time she hears it.
"Hi Jax. Happy Valentine's Day!"
Jackie's body fills with warmth as Shauna's voice reaches her ears filled with gentleness and excitement. She remembered.
Her previous disappointing and gloomy morning gets much brighter as soon as she hears her.
"I called to make sure you don't need a ride for today." Shauna continued cautiously, a hint of worry lacing her tone.
"I know I'm running a bit late, my alarm's battery died last night."
A familiar feeling tugs at Jackie's heart. Shauna had always been dependable. Always such an attentive and caring friend, so in tune with her needs and feelings she sometimes felt they were the same person or maybe soulmates, meant for each other even if just as friends.
"Thank you, Ship! Happy Valentine's Day to you too!" She replies, a soft giggle leaving her throat and relief evident in their voice.
“And yes, I do need a ride. Jeff forgot he was supposed to pick me up today."
She can practically hear Shauna roll her eyes over the phone, a soft, irritated groan escaping her lips.
"God, he's such a jerk. I'll be there in 10." Shauna says, and Jackie thanks her before hanging up.
Exactly ten minutes after she hung up, the familiar sound of Shauna's car drew Jackie's attention to the window. She watched Shauna park in front of her house, sighing with anticipation.
Jackie hurries to the bathroom, taking a moment to compose herself in front of the mirror. She washes her hands for a minute or two and takes two deep breaths then returns to her room. She grabs her backpack and quietly puts on her socks, tiptoeing downstairs, careful not to wake-up her mom’s medicated sleep. In the foyer, she carefully slips on her shoes, starting with the right and then the left, tying the laces three times, before gently opening the door and heading towards Shauna's car.
The door was unlocked, and as Jackie settles in her seat, she noticed it was already adjusted to her liking. She glanced over at Shauna, who greeted her with a soft smile.
"Good morning, Jac—"
Jackie cuts her off and leaps in on her, unable to contain her feelings any longer.
"Missed you." She whispers the words in a rush, warmth taking over her body when Shauna whispers it back, hugging and squeezing her waist. Jackie feels herself melting away, the stress of being late long forgotten, all of her attention tuned into the way Shauna's skin feels against her.
She finally lets go of the hug, and Shauna clears her throat as she reaches into the backseat for her backpack.
"So... I brought you something," Shauna says gently, voice carrying a mix of affection and doubt. "I noticed how sad you were on the phone, and I wanted to, um, make your day a bit better, so... here."
She holds out two of Jackie's favorite chocolate candy bars. The gesture tugging at the same spot at Jackie's heart. Jackie's stares alternate between the candy and Shauna's face and before beams at her.
"Shauna! thought they were out of stock!! Where did you get this?" Jackie exclaims as she reaches for it, eyes lighting up in surprise.
"The market near the hospital got their shipment a week ago, so I bought some for you when I went to see mom." Shauna explains with a warm smile.
"You bought this a week ago? For Valentine's Day?" Jackie asks, cheeks turning into a light pink, not being able to contain her shy smile.
"Yeah, and I bought some more too for when you come to my house."
She looks at Shauna's face, then back to the candy in her hand, her eyes flickering towards her wrist where the bracelet Jeff gave her last year for Valentine’s is glimmering against the rays of sunlight. Her smile falters for a moment. It's a pretty bracelet; that's not the issue. The shimmering gold hugs her wrist just the right way, glinting with a polished sheen. The weight against her skin serves as a tactile reminder of Jeff's affection. Or maybe not. Because she remembers how she got it. She had been eyeing it for a few months before last Valentine’s, always talking about it with Shauna, sometimes hinting to Jeff that she thought it was pretty. But she recalls how, when she asked him how he knew to buy this one, he said Shauna helped him choose. He never had these spontaneous moments and gestures where he would remember something she liked and get it for her, always choosing to go for the most no-brainer things instead of actually putting some thought into it.
She moves to rest back on her seat, the initial joy overshadowed by the memory of Jeff's forgetfulness and lack of sweet gestures like this. She looks back at Shauna who's now staring at her worriedly, the gift she so carefully bought tucked into the backpack again.
"Do you not like it?" She asks concerned, shame creeping into her voice and her face as her cheeks are colored in a faint pink.
Jackie gasps and bulges her eyes out, shaking her head as if she couldn't fathom a universe where she didn't adore the gift. Her heart swells with emotion as she pulls Shauna into another tight hug.
"I freaking love it, Shipman." Jackie whispered, her voice trembling. “Thank you so much.”
Shauna nestles against her neck, hugging her back with a relieved chuckle, her breath sending goosebumps across Jackie's skin, the sensation being something she always tried to ignore whenever Shauna got too close. But today had started off badly enough so Jackie decides to give herself some leeway, holding onto Shauna for a few more minutes. She nuzzles her face into Shauna's hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance of her new shampoo, gently stroking her back as Shauna relaxes into the hug, almost lying on top of Jackie, supported only by the delicate arms around her waist.
Jackie feels completely overwhelmed with emotion as she tries to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes. She felt all over the place: angry towards Jeff, happy with the gift, grateful for Shauna's friendship, and something else indescribable that took over whenever she felt Shauna's breath against her neck. Shauna seemed to always know how to lift her up, especially when others fell short.
They arrive at school, inseparable, Jackie and Shauna as always. Even Jeff's sudden appearance when they enter the hallway, not being enough to disturb their peace.
Jackie rolls her eyes at Jeff's dumb, apologetic smile as he tries to greet her. She ignores him completely, holding Shauna's hand tightly and brushing past him, disregarding his attempts to get her attention. A pang of irritation in her chest, his lack of thought still stings, lingering in her mind despite her efforts to push it aside. It's not the first time he's acted this way, and she's beginning to feel tired of it.
But Shauna is here, and her presence means more than anything to Jackie. So she decides to focus on that instead, choosing to ignore Jeff and all the issues that came with him. They quickly make their way to the girls' bathroom, seeking to hide away until the next class starts, effectively avoiding Jeff and leaving him with no choice but to leave her alone for now.
They come out of the bathroom, a few minutes having passed and Shauna holds the door open for Jackie as she passes through, then again when they get to class, a faint blush coloring her cheeks as Jackie winks and teases "What a gentleman."
The class drags on tediously, the teacher's monotonous voice constantly threatening to bore her to sleep. On a normal day, she might have already dozed off at her desk half an hour ago, but Jackie's mind is elsewhere today, too focused on Shauna to even care that much. Because today, Shauna is being unusually sweet, and each gesture she makes sends Jackie into a spiral of thoughts and feelings that completely overshadows the monotony of the lecture.
Shauna seems determined to make Jackie smile, whether out of genuine affection or because she felt sorry for Jackie and her shitty boyfriend. Regardless of the reason, Jackie would take whatever she gave her eagerly. Shauna compliments her, fixes her hair, and allows Jackie's hand to rest on her thigh even as they both blush, but neither pulling away. Jackie hangs on Shauna's every smile and glance, finding solace in her gentle strokes on the back of her neck, easing away her frustration with Jeff, replacing it with a sense of calm and butterflies in her stomach.
Mid-class, Shauna quietly gets up to go to the bathroom and returns moments later, with a heart-shaped rock she had found for her. Jackie's heart skips a beat. her entire body tingling with an unexpected rush of joy, that makes her happy squeal a touch too loud for the quietness of the classroom, earning them a scolding from the teacher.
Second period ends, and they head to their locker to get the next class books when Mari and Lottie intercept them, positioning themselves on either side. Mari stands beside Jackie, and Lottie beside Shauna. Jackie, still high on the gifts and Shauna's actions, turns to them in excitement, eagerly showing off the rock Shauna gave her, oblivious to the knowing look exchanged between Mari and Lottie, which made Shauna visibly shrink.
"Look at what Shauna gave me!" Jackie proudly displays the rock, fingertips covering the part that revealed its heart shape.
"A rock? For Valentine's Day? Thought you were better than that, Shauna." Lottie jokes, her gaze lingering on Shauna for a moment too long in a way that tugged at Jackie's jealousy even as she chose to ignore it.
She always noticed the way they were with each other. Their playful remarks during games, the way Shauna gravitated towards Lottie in parties when Jackie was too busy with Jeff. The way Lottie's touch seemed to linger a little too much for someone who wasn't her best friend. There's a deep-rooted anger building within her stomach, spreading throughout her body, that makes her fists twitch and her brows furrow. She knows its irrational but seeing Lottie joke around with shauna always did something to her, made her feel physically sick, uneasy as if a predator was trying to take over her territory and in the instances when Shauna joked back or flushed at one of Lottie's comments she could even feel betrayed, especially today on Valentine's Day. She retrieves the rock glaring at Lottie before turning to show it to Mari.
"It's not just a rock, I also gave her chocolates." Shauna clarifies, sounding suddenly shy, her cheeks heating up with a mix of embarrassment and pride. "And it's heart-shaped. For her collection."
"You have a collection of heart-shaped rocks?" Mari asked, tone shifting between teasing and genuinely curious.
"I mean yeah, I collect pretty rocks and crystals I find. Sometimes Shauna finds them too and gives them to me." Jackie explained, displaying the rock once more before tucking it into her locker.
"You're weird." Mari jokes.
Jackie scowls, lifting a hand to flip her off. “Bite me.”
"Fuck off." Shauna snaps sharply besides her fists clenching in anger, shooting Mari a warning glare.
"Sorry, I meant to say, you're both weird." Mari 'corrects' coyly, a smirk contorting her lips.
"Wait, so you actually gave her a Valentine's Day gifts? Why?" Lottie questions and Shauna's attention is back to her.
She looks away with flushed cheeks thinking of something to say and lands on the most simple statement and truth. "Cause I'm her friend."
Lottie shoots her skeptical look, smirk evident in her lips, eyes darting between the both of them. "Since when do friends celebrate Valentine's?"
"It's not a big deal. It's about celebrating love, and we love each other." Shauna states rushed but firmly, drawing a nod of agreement from Jackie, before Lottie keeps on questioning, taking a step closer.
"So you'd do this for all of your friends?" Lottie presses.
"I mean... maybe." Shauna hesitates.
"Will you give me a gift?" Lottie asks mischievously, looking down at Shauna then towards Mari who's also smirking. She steps even closer to Shauna, making her lean against the locker and lift her chin up to meet her gaze.
"Um, okay sure... what would you like?" Shauna stutters, caught off guard, her face and neck flushing, eyes quickly glancing at Lottie's lips then at Jackie and finding her staring down Lottie with an intensity that could drill actual holes through the side of the skull.
Lottie gestures at her to come closer and Jackie clenches her jaw and fists. Shaking in anger and swiftly stepping in before Shauna dumbly steps closer. She reaches her arm out to block Lottie's body. A forced smile on her face, as she pulls Shauna away from her by the belt loop.
"Nope." She interjects firmly, positioning herself protectively in front of Shauna and shooting Lottie a sharp look.
Who the hell does she think she is? Flirting with Shauna openly in front of her, making her blush and getting close and personal with her best friend. She turns to Shauna silently urging her to move along.
"What? We don't get a gift?" Mari protests playfully, drawing out the situation and causing Jackie's grip on her hips to tighten and Shauna gasps softly.
"Unfortunately, there's no time for that.” Jackie sneers in a fake heartfelt tone, the sweetness of it hiding the underlying bitterness and anger she was feeling at the moment. “We have to go now. Bye." She grips Shauna's waist and pushes her away from them, trying to lead her out of there as fast as she can before they can make any other remarks.
"Goodbye, Jackie! Bye, Shippy!"
Mari and Lottie call after them, laughing. Jackie glances over her shoulder and narrows her eyes at them before walking away with Shauna, not letting her turn around to wave at them. Her arm now firmly around Shauna's waist, a silent yet unmistakable declaration of her place in Shauna's life. A reminder to anyone watching that Shauna is hers—her friend, not Lottie's, not anyone else's. Their bond , stronger than most relationships, certainly stronger than Jackie's own with Jeff and no one could ever jeopardize that, or dare to try.
Halfway through their school day, they inevitably cross paths with Jeff, and Jackie is forced to talk to him when he corners her at her locker. He walks over to her slowly, as if approaching a dangerous predator, hunching his shoulders and wearing a stupid, sheepish smile on his face.
"Hey, babe... I'm so sorry, I totally spaced out." Jeff starts cautiously.
"I don't want to hear it, Jeff." Jackie replies sharply, swiftly shoving her books inside the locker before grabbing her practice bag to head out to the field during her free period. Slamming her locker shut as she turns around to face Shauna, pointedly ignoring him.
"Oh, hi Shippy. Sorry, didn't see you there." Jeff acknowledges Shauna with an awkward nod and a forced smile.
Shippy.
Suddenly, memories of Lottie interacting closely with Shauna flood Jackie's mind. She vividly recalls Lottie inserting herself into Shauna's personal space just hours ago, much like she had done in their lives before—growing closer to Shauna, stealing her away at parties, and using flirtatious words that made Shauna blush. The memories ignite a fierce anger within Jackie, and she looks at Shauna with a surge of hurt and frustration in her gaze. With an annoyed roll of her eyes, Jackie turns her attention back to Jeff, determined not to let Lottie's actions disrupt her day any further.
"Um, I have to go monitor the library now." Shauna says, sensing the tension and searching for an exit strategy.
"Go ahead then. I'll meet you at practice." Jackie replies curtly, her tone strained as she dismisses Shauna with a shrug.
Shauna makes her way out, shooting a glare at Jeff who meets her gaze dismissively. He pays little attention to her until she accidentally collides with him, causing his books to scatter to the ground. Shauna flashes him a sardonic smirk and chuckles softly when she hears him hiss under his breath, then crouches down to retrieve his belongings.
Jackie watches the scene unfold, a slight amusement playing on her lips. She exchanges a few glances with Shauna as her friend walks away, then turns back to Jeff rolling her eyes. She opens her locker and starts to gather her stuff.
"I don't want to talk to you." Jackie says sternly. "I already know what you're going to say, and honestly, I don’t give a fuck if you forgot. This isn't just about Valentine's, it was supposed to be our third-year anniversary!"
Her words are sharp, almost on the edge of yelling, before she forces herself to calm down and lowers her tone glancing around. The hallway's attention has shifted towards them, and Jackie, not wanting to cause a scene, takes a deep breath to steady herself.
"It can still be, babe! I can take you out to dinner tonight—" Jeff tries to suggest but is met with a cold response from Jackie.
"I don't want to." She states firmly. "In fact, I don't want anything to do with you anymore. We're done." Her words are final and she shoots him a mocking smile, turning to walk away.
"Wait, what are you saying, Jackie?" Jeff grabs her arm to stop her, but quickly releases it when she glares at him. His expression shifting, the usual dumb grin fading into a downturned frown, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. He leans his head to the side, trying to comprehend Jackie's words, like a scolded dog that doesn't understand its wrongdoing.
"I'm breaking up with you." She emphasizes each word, the steady tone letting just a glimpse of sadness peak through. "This is the second year in a row that you've forgotten something important, first my birthday, and now this. I can't keep accepting your scraps, especially when my best friend acts like a better boyfriend than you! You couldn't even bother to call and let me know you wouldn't pick me up!"
Jeff's frustration rises at the mention of Shauna, his tone instantly turning defensive. "Ah of course. So now this is about Shauna?"
"That's what you're focusing on?" Jackie asks in disbelief.
"“Yes! That's what I'm focusing on because she's always doing something to push us apart! She's always waiting for me to mess up so she can come in and save the day. Why the hell was she giving you gifts? She's not your freaking boyfriend—"
"Well, neither are you." Jackie steps closer to him, looking him right in the eye as she sneers. “And being honest she would be a much better boyfriend to me than you, because she actually cares about me.”
Suddenly, a wild thought struck Jackie, causing her to step back and lean against her locker. She takes a moment to breathe in and out, a habit she relied on whenever her mind wandered into unwanted territory or she felt overwhelmed. But this time, her thoughts race uncontrollably, spiraling obsessively. She closes her eyes and swallows hard as memories of Shauna flood her mind—the chocolate bar, Shauna's sweet gestures throughout the day, even the rock she held in her hand right now. Shauna exceeded Jeff in every possible way, leading Jackie to a startling realization. Sparking a desire for something daring, something that society, her mother, and even her own conscience might consider forbidden.
I wish Shauna could be—
She cuts the thought short, shaking her head and grabbing her gifts, putting them carefully into her practice bag before moving to leave, only stopping when she hears Jeff again.
“You know what, I'm tired of trying to live up to the impossible standards that loser puts in your head when she's too fucked up to even have a boyfriend—" Jeff's words were abruptly cut short by a sharp slap across his cheek.
Jackie stands face-to-face with him, her surprise with herself, giving way to simmering anger. "Don't you dare talk about her like that.” She hisses through clenched teeth. “She didn't do anything wrong, Jeff. You're the only one to blame here" Jackie turns around with purposeful steps, ignoring the curious stares of the people in the hallway as she briskly makes her way toward the exit.
"Fuck this. Stay with her then!" She hears in the distance.
"I will. Now, fuck off!" Jackie shouts back. Lifting a hand to flip him off and striding purposefully down the hallway, leaving him standing alone, fuming besides her locker.
Jackie didn't expect to find anyone else here. She had sneaked out of school specifically to be alone with her thoughts, to sort through the confusing swirl of emotions racing through her mind before heading to the field for practice. She didn't want her problems to affect her game. Yet, in the usually calm and secluded clearing, a bleached blond head was blowing smoke rings into the air. Jackie stops in her tracks when she recognizes Natalie sitting on a fallen log, completely absorbed in her own world. With a resigned sigh, Jackie decides to approach her anyway.
"Hi, Nat." Jackie greets softly, her voice cutting through the quietude of the clearing.
She watches as Natalie jumps slightly in her seat, startled by the unexpected intrusion. Natalie turns around to face her, wide-eyed, surprise and apprehension painted across her features as she quickly attempts to extinguish the cigarette in her hand.
"Shit—hey, Jack, I'm just— wait, are you okay?" Natalie's voice has a nervous edge, uncertain of how Jackie would react.
Jackie pauses, taking in the scene before she heads to sit on the log next to Natalie. "I guess.” she said wearily. "You don't need to hide it, by the way. I already saw it." She adds matter-of-factly, nodding towards the cigarette in Natalie's hand.
Natalie just blinks, momentarily caught off guard by Jackie's lack of energy and anger. "Are you going to tell on me?" She hesitates for a second, then shrugs and brings the cigarette back to her mouth.
"I really don't care." Jackie replies tiredly, her mind elsewhere. "Just blow the smoke away from me.” She asks, waving a dismissive hand. "And I'm not a snitch either."
Natalie chuckles, exhaling away from Jackie. "Well, the last time you caught one of us smoking, you flipped out. Forgive me for being cautious."
"I caught Shauna smoking, it's different." Jackie explains.
Natalie raises an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "How so?"
"She's different." She replies in a soft voice.
Natalie nods slowly, a knowing look in her eyes as she observes Jackie.
"What are you doing here?" Jackie asked curiously.
Natalie takes another drag from her cigarette, collecting her thoughts before responding. "Had to clear my head. Shitty morning." She admits, her gaze drifting across the clearing before settling back on Jackie.
"That's an understatement." Jackie huffs.
"Did something happen? Feel no obligation to—" Natalie begins, but Jackie cuts her off abruptly.
"Jeff forgot it's Valentine's Day and also our three-year anniversary." Jackie blurts it out, her words rushed in her need to confide.
"Damn, that sucks, man." Natalie sympathizes, shaking her head in understanding.
Jackie takes a deep breath and answers. "Yeah, but it's fine. I broke up with him. Never really expected much from him anyway." She shrugs, reaching into her bag and placing it on the ground near the log, carefully arranging her gifts on a nearby stump, taking a piece of chocolate and offering it to Natalie, who politely declines.
"Then why do you look like a kicked puppy?" Natalie asks jokingly, concern peaking through the nonchalant expression on her face.
"I don't. And I don't want to talk about it.” Jackie replies coyly, while staring at the remains of cigarettes in the ground.
"Okay then." Natalie gets up from the log and starts walking away leaving a shocked Jackie behind.
"Where are you going? You're supposed to ask me anyway." She calls out in disbelief.
"I'm not going to beg you to talk to me Jack. I'm not Shauna." Natalie chuckles walking back to the log.
"She doesn't have to do that."
Shauna never needed to persuade Jackie into opening up because it just happened effortlessly whenever they were together. She had a way of drawing out all of Jackie's worries and secrets as if they couldn't help but spill out in her presence. So much so that she would even at times predict whatever Jackie was going to say by a quick glance or twitching of lips because they just knew each other like that.
"Do you want to talk about what's got you like this, yes or no?" Nat asks, a slight annoyance in her voice but still giving Jackie the space to open up.
"Yes, but you can't judge me."
"I don't judge anyone," Nat rolls her eyes.
"Okay..." Jackie takes a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "It's just that Jeff forgot about today—"
"I thought this wasn't about him." Natalie cuts her off huffing.
"— but Shauna didn't." She continues, shooting Nat an annoyed look before talking about Shauna again, her voice and expression immediately softening. "She actually came to pick me up this morning and gave me my favorite chocolate and wished me a happy valentine's while Jeff did nothing."
Jackie starts playing with the rock now on top of the stump, remembering Shauna's shy grin when she gave it to her and smiling too, before her expression immediately falls as she remembers why Shauna did it in the first place. To sooth Jeff's inadequacies.
"She complimented me and tried to make me feel happy the whole morning because I was sad and it felt so good. But then Lottie started talking to her and I got so mad and now she's back in class and it just dawned on me..." Jackie starts spiraling, blurting the words out in an quick almost nonsensical way, her breathing quickening and her eyes darting around looking everywhere but Natalie's eyes before slowing down and saying:
"I... I wish... Shauna could be my boyfriend instead."
Jackie whispers the words like they were a dirty secret, her fingers nervously playing with the rock in her hand as she avoids making eye contact with Natalie.
Her voice sounding so small, as if she had done something wrong and was bracing herself for the scolding. Words wavering the way they did whenever her mother would "catch" them sleeping on the same bed during sleepovers. Shrinking into herself, just as she used to when she would grasp her arm tightly, pulling her away from Shauna, doing the same with her next as she escorted her to the guest room. Voice faint, as if she did something so wrong and out of this world that she had to be careful not to say it too loud that way the universe, or her mom somehow, wouldn't hear it and turn them into some karma or punishment directed at her.
"Oh." Natalie lets out a surprised gasp, eyes widening slightly as her mind races to process Jackie's words, then squinting a small smile on her lips like she already knew what Jackie confessed.
"Isn't that fucked? Like, I much rather have my best friend becoming my hypothetical boyfriend than my actual boyfriend. Well, ex now, but you understand."
Natalie notices the shame in Jackie's voice and her expression immediately softens, knowing, and moves to place her hand above Jackie's, making her stop playing with Shauna's rock. Quickly shaking her head and squeezing Jackie's hands to get her point across. "I don't think its fucked, Jackie. It's okay if you like Shauna—"
Jackie shakes her head because that's not really what she means. So she cuts her off to explain before she's misunderstood and everything gets out of hand. "I'm not saying that. It's just... she's so great that sometimes I wish she was a boy so I could date her instead."
"Jackie." Natalie calls her name with urgency and grabs her shoulders and shakes her slightly.
"What?" Jackie asks, confused at the sudden intensity.
"You like Shauna?" Natalie asks, her voice gentle but probing.
"Not romantically." Jackie replies.
Although sometimes with Shauna this line would get blurry and she would find herself looking too much at her best friend. She would often catch herself staring too long during post-game showers, feeling a weird shiver down her spine whenever Shauna's hugs lingered a little lower than platonic norms. Noticing her lips with an intensity and intent she could never show Jeff and that was definitely out of friendship realm reaching into... something else, thrilling yet confusing.
Natalie rubs her hands over her face in disbelief, then composes herself. "Doesn't matter, do you like her and the way she makes you feel?" She emphasized each word, locking eyes with Jackie expectantly.
"Yeah, of course."
"And you like that so much that you wished she could be a boy so you could date her?" Natalie presses on, repeating Jackie's own words back to her.
Jackie feels a sudden frustration creeping in. "That's exactly what I said—"
"Her personality, your relationship, nothing would change, right?" Natalie interrupts, her tone insistent.
Jackie's mind raced. No, nothing about Shauna should change. That's the whole point. She loves her exactly as she is. Quirks and passions, short temper and all. If anything was to suddenly change, she wouldn't be Shauna, and that's the opposite of what Jackie wants.
"No, I would never want that," Jackie replies, almost appalled at the thought.
"So it would still be Shauna?" Natalie clarifies, her brows furrowing slightly.
Jackie was taken aback. She would want to date a boy who acted and loved her exactly the same way as shauna. Who was a carbon copy of her but you know… a man.
"Oh my God, yes! What's so hard to understand?" Jackie snaps. "Did you fall and hit your head somewhere, Natalie?" She quips, angry at Natalie's confusion.
Am I not being clear or something?
Natalie bites back a smile, unfazed and continues. "Would you want her appearance to change?"
Well... not really.
Jackie grimaces, trying to imagine a boy version of Shauna and not really being thrilled at the result. He'd still be pretty, probably the prettiest boy she would ever come across but all boys are kinda ugly to her.
"I mean... it would have to, since she'd be a boy." She settles on saying it.
"But would you want it?" Nat insists.
Not at all. Shauna was already perfect. So pretty and soft and sweet she'd want nothing to change. Would want her shiny hair to stay the same length, same cut, maybe even a little longer. Would like her perfect nose to stay the same, so she would still know exactly what she'd find whenever she traced it. Would want her pretty brown eyes to keep their essence and still have the same effect they had on her, making Jackie fold so easily it was pathetic. Would like her perfect lips to keep their softness so Jackie could look at them and imagine how they'd feel against—
"Fine I guess not really. I think she's pretty just the way she is." She relents, because it's the truth. Shauna was perfect and Jackie would never want her to change in any form possible which is why all of this was so frustrating.
"Jacquelyn are you listening to yourself right now?" Natalie shakes her shoulders again, sounding exasperated, almost mad at Jackie for not getting the point.
"I don't know what you want from me, Nat!" She says genuinely frustrated, squirming away from Natalie’s touch. "And for God's sake don't full name me."
"You know she can just be your girlfriend instead right?"
Oh.
The question lights up a million light bulbs in Jackie's head. She frowns slightly trying to take it all in then stares at Natalie wide-eyed, mouth hanging open a little.
Ohhh.
That's what she meant. That's what it all meant.
The longing stares and the goosebumps on her skin whenever she saw Shauna smiling. Her innate aversion towards Jeff and all of his attempts at intimacy or romance. The deep-rooted nausea whenever Lotttie came too close to Shauna.
"Oh."
"Yeah. You don't have to go through loopholes or parallel realities where she's actually a boy, you can just date her as she is." Natalie says softly, reaching a hand to her shoulders and brushing her thumb against it.
But I'm not gay.
Because she dated Jeff for the last three years and she might have hated it for the most part but in the beginning it actually felt nice to have him.
That period before he started to want other things and they would just hold hands and talk about their favorite movies, where they would pass notes in class to ask each other about their day, being something she looked fondly at. The times she tried to teach him how to play soccer and watched him fail miserably. Or the moments she invited him over for dinner and her mom would finally be soft and nice towards her. Complementing her instead of berating, sometimes even hugging her when she came back from the front door after leading him out.
When he would serve more as a friend and someone who could keep other boys away from her, before he was the one she wanted to be away from.
"But I'm not gay." She says genuinely confused and Natalie just stares at her blinking twice before breathing in and sighing.
"Look, i'm not gonna tell you what you are but it's pretty clear to me that you like her. As in, you're attracted to her." She shrugs.
"I think it is just because we're close. I dated Jeff this whole time... and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like girls anyway." Jackie replies, shaking her head slightly then going back to play with the rock on her hand.
"I've literally seen you check each other out in the locker room countless times!" Natalie teases, unable to contain her amusement. "You two might not like just girls but you sure like them or each other at least."
"I don't check her out!" Jackie laughs nervously. "You're imagining things."
Natalie raises an eyebrow, her smirk widening, as if she was just challenged into something. "Jack, last week when she went to show you the bruise she got during the game and you literally just stared at her boobs the whole time."
Jackie's eyes widen and her cheeks get flushed as she opens her mouth to retort but Natalie cuts her off, sounding almost exasperated.
"I'm not even exaggerating, it was so obvious that Taissa, Van and I were betting on how long it would take for you to just grab them."
She turns her head away, the blush deepening and taking over her face when she remembers last week.
Shauna had come to show her the damage caused by a hard shove from the opposing team, leaving her with a swollen elbow and a dark bruise on her side. Jackie vividly remembers how furious she was when she saw Shauna fall to the ground. Rushing towards her without a second thought and seeing her curl around her side in pain. She was seething with so much anger towards the girl who had tackled Shauna, that she kicked the ball frustrated and "accidentally" hit her right in her face, resulting in Jackie receiving a yellow card, risking a red one, and the girl ending up with a bloody nose.
But Shauna, while showing her the damage later in the locker room, decided to ask Jackie for help taking off her shirt, stopping right in front of her when they were changing. Jackie was sitting on the bench below her with her breasts at eye level. Nowhere else to look at as she pushed Shauna's shirt up, fingers grazing the hot and sweaty skin of her abdomen. Standing up when she couldn't push it up any longer. Shauna's face was close to hers and she avoided eye contact, cheeks blushing slightly. Jackie's own face heated up when she finally took Shauna's shirt off alongside her top, breathing hard when she saw Shauna's breasts, then frowning when she saw the purple marks on her side, automatically reaching for it. Feeling the hot pale skin, covered in a thin layer of sweat, eyes accidentally flickering towards her chest and seeing the pink nipples hardening with the sudden air flow and touch. She couldn't stop looking at it, the bruise almost forgotten, the only attention it received being Jackie's light brush of a thumb, that made Shauna shiver and lean closer. She completely focused on Shauna's chest moving up and down, tongue coming out to wet her lips as her breathing got heavy, and her mouth dry, until a loud bang in the locker room snapped them both out of their trance. Shauna gasping and heading to the shower quickly and leaving a flustered Jackie behind.
So if Jackie was being honest, if five more minutes had passed she would've done something that would've embarrassed the both of them.
"I mean, they were just right there in my face..." She tries a weak defense hearing Natalie's scoff by her side.
They would usually be like this, comfortable around each other's bodies. Not only during the showers but also when lounging at each other's houses. No parents around, taking that opportunity to just walk around in a bra or a top. Both being known for staring a little too much at each other, glancing one to many times when not needed or failing to keep eye contact during a conversation because it was just there to be looked at.
As unexpected as it sounds Shauna with all her short temper was the one who could hold herself more together. Sure she would look and get flushed and maybe a bit awkward but she would always close in on herself whenever Jackie caught her, the smirk on her face making Shauna blush with embarrassment.
But Jackie? Jackie was a mess.
Not only would she stare but her own body seemed to have a reaction to it. Making her seek out shauna and hold her waist tighter and run her hands up the side of her body when they hugged, fingers leering almost dangerously close to her breasts before realizing what she was doing and bringing them back down.
Jackie has always been a touchy person when it came to shauna and only her. Hating whenever other people kept trying to reach for her without permission, their touch burning her skin and making her deeply uncomfortable even when she tried faking it. She hated when Jeff would continually try to kiss her when they went on a date, outright saying no and pushing him away. Always quick to deny whoever it was that wanted to touch her but with Shauna it was a whole different story. Her being the only person who knew how to touch her without overwhelming her, that could read when she wanted to be touched or not, that she actually wanted to be touched by. So in those instances that Shauna would hug her tighter, or wear a different outfit than usual, exposing more skin, Jackie would feel completely pulled by it like a magnet was pulling her in to feel and touch. So much so that she would have to physically stop her own hands from doing something dumb or inappropriate. Always playing with something or picking on her nails, a nervous habit that she couldn't shake.
She was also eager to see the way Shauna would react. To feel her heavy breathing against her neck when they cuddled and Jackie's nails ran through her back. To watch her layed back on the edge of Jackie's pool her rosy cheeks turning into a deep shade of red when Jackie would stare and compliment her boobs, running a finger around the safe, "friendly" parts of her chest. To hear the soft sounds that escaped her throat whenever they were watching a movie and Jackie would trace the goosebumps all over her skin, lazy fingers sometimes accidentally brushing against a "forbidden" part in a way that had Shauna closing her eyes and pushing herself closer, gasping and vulnerable, opening up to the touch and whatever Jackie decided to do following. Sighing when she chose to do nothing then hiding away at Jackie's neck pressing her lips against it to stop the whine from coming out before realizing what she was doing and pulling away.
Jackie takes a deep breath and bites her lip, shaking the memories away before it was the only thing she could think about. But not quick enough to not let Natalie know exactly where her mind went. Watching her bulge her eyes out and smirk knowingly.
"Oh my— I freaking knew it!" Natalie exclaims, unable to contain her excitement.
"Shut up." Jackie replies annoyed, rolling her eyes, cheeks flushing slightly as she surges forward to cover Natalie's mouth with her hand, embarrassed.
"I knew you two had something weird going—" Natalie's words come out muffled against Jackie's hand, her eyes glimmering with mischief until Jackie gives her one stern look to silence her.
"If you don't stop, I'm gonna walk away." Jackie warns, her voice soft but firm.
"Okay, okay... calm down, I'm stopping, I've stopped." Natalie relents, her grin widening as she leans back on her hands, clearly enjoying Jackie's discomfort, teasing her even
"Man, I'm gonna love telling Van and Tai about this."
Jackie sighs and her gaze shifts nervously between Natalie and the small gifts laid out on the tree stump.
“Do you think she likes me back?" Her voice is hesitant, a mix of hope and apprehension lacing her words.
Natalie's laughter spreads through the clearing, echoing between the trees as she almost falls on the ground holding her stomach. Only stopping when she notices Jackie's sudden silence looking at her and seeing the serious expression in her face tuning into a pout as her eyes fill with tears.
"Wait, no, no, no, don't cry— shit!" She exclaims softly, reaching out to awkwardly pat Jackie's head while holding her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her but Jackie pulls away. "Of course she likes you back, Jackie. She literally worships the ground you walk on."
"Maybe she's just being a good friend," Jackie murmured, sniffing a bit as her fingers trace the rough texture of the log beneath her, unable to meet Natalie's gaze.
"If you keep pretending that she's looking at you like you're the most precious thing in the world and checking you out constantly is what besties do, I'm literally going to die!" Natalie quips, her tone light but her eyes serious as she picks up the bar of chocolate showing it to her, then the small heart-shaped rock, pushing it close to Jackie’s face making her pull back and swat her hand away.
Jackie's lips curl into a tentative smile, she dries her tears and takes the rock from Natalie's hand. "Okay, maybe she likes me back."
"So... what are you going to do about it?" Natalie asks, leaning forward with genuine curiosity, switching from her playful demeanor momentarily to sincerely ask Jackie about her feelings.
"I don't know." She admits, voice barely above a whisper. The negative implications of the revelation weighing on her brain are much heavier than the positives. "If I'm wrong about this, she might never want me close to her again."
Natalie makes a disapproving sound and lights up a cigarette, offering it to Jackie but she refuses. She takes a long drag staring off into the distance before talking again.
"Jackie, even if she didn't like you like that, I don't think she'd ever be able to stop talking to you." Natalie reassures her.
"You guys love each other too much for that. It's rare." Her eyes soften and a sad smile finds place on her lips. She sounds thoughtful about it and maybe vaguely bitter, letting the smoke make little swirls in the air around them. Sitting uncomfortable in the moment for a bit before going back to herself.
"Plus that girl is literally obsessed with you; it's concerning." She teases gently, a mischievous smile contorting her lips.
Jackie chuckles softly. "You really think so?"
"Yes! Remember when she broke the nose of that girl who "bumped" into you last month? You should be scared!" Nat jokes but the thought of Shauna being obsessed with her to the point that everyone knows not to mess with them lights something just below her stomach.
The memories of Shauna that day invade her thoughts entirely. Shauna knocking the girl out in one punch, Shauna's bloody knuckles as she helped Jackie off the floor and organized the stuff that fell on the ground. Of her sitting between Jackie's legs hand extended into her lap as Jackie took care of the bruises, all of it coming together and making her bite her lower lip and shake the thoughts away.
She hears Nat's incredulous laugh. "Of course you'd like that, you freak."
Their conversation was interrupted by some fastly approaching steps. Jackie looks back at the path and sees Shauna walking towards them, a confused and angry expression to her face. She smiles softly at Jackie giving her a small wave then turns to look at Nat, shooting her a death glare, silently telling her to go away and questioning her presence at the same time.
"And... that's my cue. Bye Jack!" Natalie announces with a grin. She walks towards Shauna and nods her head to say hi and Shauna does the same.
Shauna stops behind Jackie looking down at her trying to figure out what was happening in silence. Watching Jackie avoid her eyes and use a tiny branch to poke at the dirt. She sits down besides Jackie putting her backpack on the ground between them. Looking at the tree stump and seeing her gifts laid out on top of it, the chocolate bar half eaten, and the rock beside it, bringing a small satisfied smile to her face. Then she looks at the cigarettes on the ground and sighs.
"What were you two talking about?"
Shauna's voice breaks the silence, her eyes flickering between Jackie and the traces of Natalie's presence all over the floor around them. She clenches her fists, an angry pout forming on her lips.
"Nothing important. How did you know I was here?
Did she hear something? When did she show up? Is she mad at me for talking to Nat?
"You weren't in school and Jeff came to yell at me for making you two break-up. I figured you'd want to clear your head so..." Shauna explains.
She remembered, again.
Jackie vividly recalls her last birthday. Jeff had forgotten to mention anything about it, so they decided to skip school and spend some time together, just the two of them. However, going to their respective homes wasn't an option. Jackie's mom was always there, and Shauna's mom had swapped shifts with a coworker. They wandered aimlessly along the road behind the school until they stumbled upon a clearing a couple of miles away and decided to make it one of their hang out places.
"Right..." Jackie's snaps back to the moment, thoughts spiraling now that she realized the depth of her feelings towards her best friend.
"If it's not important, you can tell me, right?" Shauna presses, trying to meet Jackie's eyes but being ignored. Jackie's attention everywhere but her as she plucks out the tiny patch of grass on ground, faking a calm tone.
"It's personal stuff, Shauna." She tries to wave it off, almost unable to look Shauna in the eyes.
"Since when do you two talk to each other?" Shauna asks, sounding almost betrayed, anger and hurt painted all over her face.
"I am friends with the rest of the team, you know." Jackie jokes defensively. Feeling too on edge to have this conversation right now.
"Do you not trust me anymore?" She hears Shauna's voice wavering and looks back at her face to see the brown eyes glimmering with tears a pout forming on her lips.
"Shauna, it's not that! Of course, I trust you! You..." Jackie rushes to reassure her. "...you're my best friend." She reaches out instinctively to cradle her face.
"Then why don't you want to tell me?"
Silence takes over the air and Jackie takes her hands away, choosing to pick at her nails instead of answering. She feels Shauna poke her leg two times asking her to keep going..
"Because it was about you." Jackie confesses.
"Did I do something?" Shauna asks, anxiety evident in her face as she scoots closer to Jackie, ready to apologize.
"No, I'm... I just needed to talk to someone, and it couldn't be you because you were the topic."
"What was it?"
The awkward silence creeps in again, the only sounds being their breathing and the faint sound of the leaves flowing on the trees.
"I think... I like you."
Jackie finally blurts it out, lifting her eyes to meet Shauna's and finding her with a confused expression on her face.
"Well, duh, I know you do." Shauna teased lightly, slightly confused as to what Jackie was trying to say, an almost ridiculous possibility making her heart race faster.
"No, dummy." Jackie complains, her frustration creeping into her tone alongside the nervousness. She shifts on the log to sit facing Shauna fixing the collar of her flannel.
"I think I like-like you." She says trying to sound calm about it.
God this is pathetic.
Jackie winces as she hears the word coming out of her own mouth.
I could have worded that better.
It sounds so childish, like they're back in the first year of high- school and she and Shauna just practiced kissing so they could play truth or dare at their first party. Shauna telling her that she really liked it, asking Jackie if she felt the same. To which Jackie answered that it was just practice and they weren't supposed to like-like it. Even though she did and kept the feeling hidden deep inside of her.
"What?" Shauna's eyes widened in surprise. A small smile forming on the corner of her lips.
"Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Jackie adds in a defeated tone, bringing her hands down to pick on her nails where they started healing. Sparing Shauna a quick unsure glance before looking back down.
"Jackie, please look at me." Shauna urged softly, reaching out to hold Jackie's hand to stop her and snap her out of the approaching spiral. She tugs Jackie's hands towards her lap holding it gently, tracing small circles on her wrist then letting go to hold her face. Jackie's eyes widen and gaze shifting to Shauna lips as she gets closer.
"I like-like you too—"
She can barely get the words out and Jackie immediately moves in to kiss her, cutting her off and swallowing her gasp of surprise. Hands reaching the back of Shauna's neck and pulling her in. Shauna leans forward, hands closing around her waist and palming the log for support. The kiss is tender and slow, Shauna's lips are soft and warm against hers, her vanilla lip balm smearing across Jackie's strawberry. They both sigh into the kiss, Jackie softly scratching Shauna's neck and Shauna's leaning in even more, finding support on Jackie's legs instead, squeezing her thighs. The moment lingers on for a few minutes, lazy kisses and gentle pecks until Jackie pulls back.
"Really? You're not joking?" She asks a little out of breath. She needs to be sure, Jackie needs Shauna to confirm that this is not some crazy attempt at soothing her shitty day with a pity kiss. She asks, eyes meeting Shauna's and flickering with expectation.
"Of course I do. Why would I joke about this?" Shauna smiles, eyes focused on Jackie's lips as she chews on her own.
"You like me?"
"Correction: I'm in love with you." Shauna corrects the phrasing and intensity of it with a shy smile.
"You love me?" Jackie's voice trembled. A pout forming at her lips and her eyes getting wet and red. She breathes in deep, holding it together before leaning in when Shauna closes the distance, both of them meeting in a desperate kiss. Shauna grasping the side of Jackie's neck kissing her fiercely as Jackie tries to hold herself, gripping Shauna's flannel.
"Yes, so, so much." She whispers the affirmations over and over, against her mouth, in between kisses, while biting at Jackie's lower lip. Never stopping, pulling Jackie closer as if she can't stand the distance a second longer before she suddenly slows everything down, pausing to ask Jackie.
"Do you... love me back?" Shauna whispered between kisses, voice filled with worry and expectation as she rests her forehead against Jackie's, slightly brushing their noses together. Jakcie melts at the action, trying to kiss her again but Shauna moves to Jackie's cheeks, pressing her lips gently before nudging her nose against it, reminding Jackie to answer the question.
Do you love me back? Such a dumb question .
As if Jackie loving her wasn't a given. As if it wasn't the most obvious and fundamental thing about Jackie. As if her entire life and self perception didn't start and end with Shauna.
Didn't Shauna know that in Jackie's mind the only constant thing was her? Jackie might doubt their friends, her parents, her ex-boyfriend and even herself but Shauna was the only thing steady. Shauna her best friend, Shauna her teammate, Shauna her family, Shauna the only person who has always been there for her, dependable and needed, Shauna her crush and now...
"No, I just kissed you because I hate you. Of course I do, Shauna!"
Jackie pulls back and lightly taps her forehead teasingly, interrupting her own train of thoughts to beam at the girl in front of her.
Shauna fakes an offended expression and pushes lightly at Jackie's shoulder, chuckling. Then getting instantly more serious, staring at Jackie, hesitant and waiting then looking away as she played with her hands.
"Can you say it? Please?"
Her voice barely above a whisper. Face turning into a delicate shade of pink, the self-conscious expression taking over. Jackie frowns. This wasn't just a need for Jackie to simply it back but for her to mean it, to see her as worth it. Shauna needed reassurance, needed to be convinced that Jackie's love for her is real, the words said out loud, etching it in stone. So Jackie grabs her face pulling her in for another kiss as she murmurs the words against Shauna's lips.
"I... love... you. I love you, Shauna, so freaking much."
It's a little messy, they're both smiling and laughing and Jackie can't seem to stop whispering the words to Shauna who gets increasingly more needy and deepens the kiss. Breathing heavy and sighing against her mouth, leaning in and closing her arms around Jackie's shoulders, almost straddling her lap, stopping only to wince when she puts all her weight on her knees, the rough tree bark pressing against her skin.
Jackie pulls away from the kiss, worried and Shauna moves to sit back and pull Jackie onto her lap instead but her flannel rides up in her arms, showing a bunch of scratches on the side of her wrist.
"What 's this?" Jackie asks, noticing the scratches, watching Shauna grimace and hesitate, her neck tinted with a slight shade of pink.
"Oh, it's nothing. I, um, accidentally fell while getting your last gift."
Jackie's face is immediately contorted by a concerned frown, reaching towards Shauna's knees on an instant to sooth away any pain Shauna could be feeling. "Is it still hurting?"
Shauna shakes her head and rests her hand on top of Jackie's. "No, it's just a scratch." She answers softly.
Jackie nods and kisses the scratch on her hand, changing the subject when she's sure Shauna is okay and letting curiosity take over her. "So... what did you bring me this time?"
Shauna's face lit up, a shy grin on her lips. "Um... I found some flowers in the garden behind the school."
She reaches into her backpack, carefully pulling out a bouquet. A mix of colorful and delicate flowers wrapped around with some pages that Jackie is sure came from her journal, the hair tie she uses during practice holding them together.
"I thought you'd like them." She continues, her voice a mix of hope and uncertainty. "So I had to get them for you."
Shauna has that look to her face again, the one she gets when Jackie compliments too much, a mix of happiness and self-consciousness that has her looking away in embarrassment but glancing back every once in a while to make sure she meant it.
"I just landed wrong when jumping the fence and scraped my knees and hands a bit." She shrugs off the accident and tries to look confident at her actions as Jackie finally grabs the bouquet, eyes darting between the flowers and Shauna's face.
Jackie looks at her, absolutely dazed, mouth hanging open a bit as her own face heats up. She touches Shauna's arm gently, placing the flowers on top of her backpack lying beside the log, eyes now zeroed in her face as she lets out a warm chuckle.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Jackie's eyes well up as she shakes her head slightly in disbelief. Shauna is so fucking adorable. So wonderfully romantic and cheesy almost, jumping over a fence to pick pretty flowers just because she thought Jackie would like them. So incredibly thoughtful, remembering Valentine's Day and showering Jackie with gifts, paying such close attention to her and her ramblings and her preferences that she even paused her days to find things she would like.
"Oh my god, I love you so much!"
She squeals and leaps onto Shauna, catching her off guard and struggling to find a place to support their weight before finally losing balance, tumbling off the log and down on the ground, taking Jackie with her.
She lands on top of Shauna, knees and hands digging into the dirt to hold herself from putting all her weight on top of her. Jackie murmurs a rushed "sorry" and moves to get up but Shauna's hands on her waist stop her. She looks up at Jackie giggling, flushed cheeks and toothy grin as she pulls Jackie closer into a hug, face burrowing in the crook of her neck, placing a soft kiss that has Jackie shuddering and sighing. Jackie relaxes and lets her weight fall on Shauna as she closes her arms around her shoulders and places a soft kiss on Shauna's jaw making her shiver.
They both lay like that, tangled against each other on the ground, stealing kisses and bites and going on and on about how much they loved each other completely unaware of their surroundings or how their clothes were starting to get wet the longer they laid on the damp soil.
"Y'all are so gay." A loud voice has them springing apart in almost a jump scare.
Jackie looks up at the voice and sees Natalie, Van and Taissa standing tall above them a few steps from where they were lying, arms crossed and smirks playing on their faces. Van opens her mouth to say something again when Shauna's startled voice cuts her off.
"Jesus fuck! Where did you come from?"
Shauna clutches her chest exasperated, moving to sit up and bumping her head against Jackie’s. Making Jackie wince and bring a hand to her face, touching the place of impact to sooth and extending the other towards Shauna.
"Ow! Shit, are you okay?"
Shauna asks laughing, hands grabbing softly at Jackie's jaw to bring her close and kiss the pain away.
"I'm fine, just almost had a heart attack." Jackie steals a quick kiss, which has Shauna blushing before tuning to the trio. "When the hell did you get here? I didn't even notice-"
"Of course you didn't! You two were too busy declaring your gay love for each other."
Of course Van cuts her off and opens her mouth to make fun of them again. She smashes her two hands together making a disgusting kissing noise.
"Shut up. What are you guys doing here?"
"Nat told us you wanted Shauna to be your boyfriend but still be a girl. So we had to come check that out."
Her cheeks flush hot with embarrassment and she almost regrets telling Natalie anything.
"I didn't say it like that..." Jackie hides her face in her hands, attempting a feeble defense, which only serves to make the entire group burst into laughter.
"You want me to be your boyfriend?"
Shauna's voice breaks through the laughter. She lifts herself off the ground, propping herself up on her elbows as she speaks. She gazes at Jackie with that cocky grin she wears whenever she feels confident, her eyes gleaming with joy and want.
"Girlfriend." Jackie corrects.
Her face lights up and her smile gets even bigger. She nods up and down quickly while whispering "yes” over and over, pulling Jackie in for a kiss.
They can faintly hear the commotion beside them. Nat saying something along the lines of "about time" Van makes an "awwn" of happiness and Tai pretends she's gagging at the sight.
Jackie doesn't care about any of that right now. She can only focus on the girl under her and how soft her lips are and how good they taste, how nice this new shampoo she used is, how smooth her skin feels against her fingers and how pretty she looks when she smiles against her mouth.
And obviously how great of a kisser she really is.
I should've been doing this forever ago.
She thinks, and the realization that she gets to do this all the time now leaves her dizzy and wanting because Shauna is her girlfriend now and she loves her and Jackie gets to kiss her like this all the time. She deepens the kiss, moving her body in between Shauna's legs, pushing her to lay back on the ground. Arms closing around her waist and pulling her in, eliciting a surprised gasp from her. Her hands grip Jackie's shoulder and tugs at her hair. Jackie can't help the groan that leaves her body, pressing herself even closer and biting Shauna's lower lip, completely forgetting there's people around them and letting out a soft chuckle at the small moan she gets out of her.
"Ew... can you two stop being gross for a moment and come back to school? We have practice in 20 minutes."
Taissa's voice snaps them out of their trance. Jackie gives her a quick peck on the lips before pushing herself away from Shauna who looks up at her, rosy cheeks and dazed eyes, biting her lip while eyeing Jackie up and down, then turning her attention to Tai, standing tall on top of them, and faking an angry expression to tell her off.
"Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!"
The phrase makes the butterflies come back to her stomach. She looks at Shauna, beaming and then forces a frown and crosses her arms to join in against Tai.
"Yeah, don't talk to my girlfriend like that either!"
Taissa rolls her eyes and sighs, stepping back away from them. She pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head. "God, they're going to be so annoying now. Damn it Nat, why did you have to knock some sense into Jackie?"
"Awwn love is in the air baby. Let them be."
She hears Van defend them but her eyes moved back to Shauna a long time ago. She gets up and offers her hands, helping her get on her feet. Jackie takes one of the flowers Shauna gave her and puts it behind Shauna's ear. Grabbing her neck and kissing her hard when she sees her shy smile, a slight blush taking over her face. Shauna sighs into the kiss and moves to hold Jackie's hips pulling her closer.
"Okay, maybe don't push it."
Van says in an annoyed voice and they separate, choosing to hold each other's hands instead and following their friends out of the field.
"My bad guys." Natalie says while shrugging but Jackie swears she sees her hiding a smile.
The three walk in front of them, complaining about how they're going to be the gross all the time now and making fun of her for not noticing she liked Shauna earlier.
When they eventually come back to school. Their locker room routine goes as usual. Standing side by side and undressing then putting their clothes away and getting into their uniforms. Sparing each other's bodies quick glances, smiling shyly when the stare accidentally lingers. Except this time, when they avoid some looks, it comes from having to control themselves around other people, not who they are.
They are glued to each other throughout the whole practice which flows a lot more easily than usual and if they're being more needy and obsessed with each other than usual, if their eyes linger on each other for longer than necessarily friendly no one pays them any mind.