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“Hey Marj?” Kenny leaned up, resting his cheek on one hand as he lay on the bed, across from Marjorine.
“Hm?” She replied, smiling slightly. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she inspected the little Hello Kittys that decorated comforter.
“What’s up with you and Cartman? You guys can’t actually be dating, right?” She froze up, beginning to feel her heart beat increase. Deep down she’d been hoping that someone would notice that something wasn’t quite right with them but she also dreaded it. Everything was riding on this lie being believed.
“Huh? Wh- what do ya mean? Of course we’re dating, silly! Why- uh, why would I lie about something like that?” She stuttered defensively, gripping the end of her skirt with her palms to stop them from sweating.
“Okay? I was just asking because you’re way too pretty for him.” He dragged out the word ‘way’ exaggeratedly and rolled his eyes. “That and I didn't think it was humanly possible for someone to genuinely have feelings for him.” Kenny explained raising his arms up as a sign of surrender in front of him. Marjorine could feel her face flush and her heart soared. Kenny thought she was pretty? Pretty. What a lovely word to be called. It was extra special because she never once fully felt like she was in the least bit attractive.
“Oh gee Kenny, that’s real sweet of you but Eric’s a real… nice fella.” She said, faltering a bit when she had to think of something nice to call him. Kenny only huffed and rolled his eyes again.
“I do mean it though. You’re so beautiful,” He said almost dreamily. Marjorine gasped slightly, puffing out her flushed cheeks and averted her eyes. She sat up straighter and pushed her hands in between her crossed legs to stop herself from fidgeting.
“Aw gee Kenny you don’t really think that, do you? You’re just bein’ silly, right?” She said after a pause while she stared at her hands, fiddling with her fingers nervously.
Kenny seemed to snap out of his dreamy trance and jerked up into a sitting position.
“Of course I mean that, why would I lie about something like that when it’s so obviously true?” Marjorine’s face was hot and her heart fluttered. This couldn’t be real. This was definitely a dream. Curse her stupid mind for coming up with a dream so good.
“Oh- well, I thought you were just messing with me. Ya know like how Eric does.” Kenny looked at her quizzically, tilting his head and making golden locks fall into his eyes.
“What do you mean ‘like Eric does’?” He asked, sounding unnerved. She refused to make eye contact.
“Oh, well, uh…” she didn’t want to lie but she didn’t want to get Eric in trouble and ruin his plan. Kenny wouldn’t think much of it anyway, right?
“He just ya know says nice stuff to me but then laughs at me when I thank him for the compliment. He's just messing around though.” She tried to explain quickly. Kenny looked upset.
“Marj, why are you even dating him? He's a prick.” His voice was rough and angry, it reminded Marjorine of her parents' voices when they scolded her.
“I- uh- i’m dating him because- because… I don’t know.” She mumbled the last part as she shrunk in on herself. But she did know. She was dating Eric Cartman because he knew her secret and the only way he would keep it is if she dated him.
Marjorine often pictured what it would be like to have a real boyfriend or girlfriend. It seemed nice and she wanted it. But so far the closest she’s gotten was this blackmail. God, she just wished that Cartman liked her more or that he hadn’t recognized her in the first place. She understood though, he was just sad because he was lonely without Heidi. Maybe Marjorine was the selfish one… A lump formed in her throat and her eyes stung at the edges.
“If you don’t know then you obviously don’t want to be dating him so what’s the deal?” Kenny asked, looking slightly frustrated at Marjorine’s lack of proper answers.
“I- I know. I sure wish I could tell you Kenny but I can't.” She responded looking back at Kenny. The lump that had begun forming in her throat made her voice tight and high.
“Jesus, come on Marj! You know you can trust me? I know you know we have this ‘thing’ going on between us but this whole Cartman situation is getting in the way.” He exclaimed looking desperate. “You can trust me.” he repeated. Marjorine felt so bad just then. What kind of a friend was she if she couldn’t even tell the truth? She was lying about so many things and yet she still expected him to like her. She had to tell Kenny or he’d hate her forever. But on the other hand he’d probably hate her if she told the truth. She really had nothing to lose and she didn’t believe that Kenny would spill her secret even if he hated her for it.
“Okay Ken, but you gotta promise that you ain’t gonna tell anyone even if ya hate me.” She said seriously.
“Hate you?” Kenny echoed, his face scrunched in confusion. Marjorine took a deep breath, her heart beating way too fast. She refused to make eye contact.
“I’m trans…” she said quickly, looking anywhere but at Kenny's face. Kenny was silent for a moment making marjorine even more incredibly nervous to the point that her entire body felt too hot. Tears burned at the edges of her vision threatening to spill over. This was it. Their friendship was over.
“Trans… like transgender?” He asked finally in an unreadable tone. She nodded quickly, still not making eye contact.
“Yeah, uh, male to female.” She explained, voice thick with emotion. She sniffled quietly.
“Marj, can you look at me?” Kenny asked gently. Marjorine forced her eyes away from her hands which were scrunched over a distorted Hello Kitty face. When her eyes met Kenny’s she felt immobilized. He didn’t look angry or betrayed. If anything he seemed sympathetic. He reached out and grabbed one of her hands in both of his. They were warm.
“Marj, why would I hate you for something like that? This doesn’t change anything for the way I feel about you.” Marjorine wanted to be happy so bad, because what Kenny was saying was so nice and everything she had wanted to hear. But that wasn’t the whole story. She shook her head, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“You don’t understand!” She exclaimed. She sucked in her lips to hold back a sob.
“What don’t I understand?” Kenny replied with wide understanding eyes. She couldn’t bear to look at his face anymore so she scrunched her eyes closed.
“You knew me before…” She choked out. How would he feel when he knew that she was the dorky loser he’d known back in elementary school? He wouldn’t possibly think she was beautiful once he knew who she’d used to be.
“Before when?” Kenny sounded utterly confused, “Be- before you transitioned?” He hit the nail right on the head.
“Yeah.” She choked out, eyes still closed. “I’m actually pretty surprised you don't recognize me. That nobody does.” She continued. There was silence and when she opened her eyes Kenny was just looking at her with his brows furrowed in a look of confusion. Darn it, she'd have to spell it out for him. “Uh, fourth grade? Did a bunch of crazy stuff for Cartman? You- you went to Hawaii with me… you know B- Bu-“ As she began to stutter out her dead name Kenny interrupted her.
“You don’t have to say it. I understand now.” He was being surprisingly calm. “You’ve changed a lot… You’re cuter than you were before.” Marjorine snorted in surprise and smiled a little, slapping his arm with the hand that Kenny wasn’t holding.
“Kennyyyy,” she whined.
“What? It’s true!” He exclaimed, smiling back. His hands let go of hers and she immediately missed the warmth.
“But seriously, this doesn’t change anything, I promise.” He enunciated his words, making sure that Marjorine really understood. That sentence made tears of joy run down her cheeks. She lurched forward and wrapped her arms around Kenny's neck in a hug, pulling him forward. He made a noise of surprise and, after getting his bearings, snaked his arms around her waist holding her tightly.
“I was so worried.” She murmured, into his shoulder, her cheeks hurting from smiling. Kenny squeezed her but then drew back.
“But what does this have to do with Cartman?” He asked. Oh yeah, she’d almost forgotten about that. She bumped her knuckles together nervously.
“He recognized me on the first day. I walked into first period and he saw me. He was starin’ at me all class and I was real freaked out. Then he stopped me after class and told me he recognized me. He told me to meet him at lunch so I did and he said he'd keep my secret if I pretended to date him to make Heidi jealous. So that’s why i’m dating him.” She concluded bluntly. Somehow this was the easy part.
“Shit,” Kenny said, shocked. “That’s fucked, even for Cartman. Does anyone else know?” She nodded.
“Yeah! Craig and Tweek! I told Craig and after a while I said he could tell Tweek.” She explained, picking at a loose thread on her skirt. “People thought you and Craig were dating.” Marjorine jolted.
“WHAT?!” She exclaimed with wide eyes. “Why would they think that? He’s- he’s dating Tweek! And I'm technically dating Cartman!” She bumped her knuckles together nervously. Kenny laughed a little, leaning back on his elbows.
“It was just a rumor, really. It didn’t make sense to me either.” He explained. Marjorine couldn't help but stare intently at the freckles that littered his nose. She realized then that his hands were still on her hips, thumbing gently at her sweater. She shivered at the touch, cheeks reddening.
Kenny seemed to catch on to her sudden nervousness and smirked. He pulled her closer so that she was basically on his lap, her legs straddling his. She gripped his shoulders partly in shock and partly to steady herself. Kenny’s face was close to her ear.
“So…now that I know you and Cartman aren’t actually dating, can I ask you something?” Kenny asked, in a hushed tone. Marjorine gulped at the way his lips brushed her cheek. Not trusting her voice she nodded jerkily.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Her eyes widened, her face felt hot and her heart felt as if it would pound out of her chest. She was sure that if she looked in a mirror she would be bright red. God, she hoped this wasn’t a dream.
“Really...?” She squeaked out. “I’d sure love that. But Kenny, why would you wanna be with a girl like me? I’m not very pretty. I'm flat. I'm not even a real girl!” Marjorine stumbled out, trying not to focus on the way Kenny’s cheek brushed hers. He pulled back a little.
“Are you serious? First of all you’re the prettiest girl at our school, probably like ever. And I don’t care if you’re flat,” He decided not to mention that she wasn’t even all that flat. “And you are a real girl. So please, will you be my girlfriend?” He explained. Marjorine smiled, feeling suddenly even more immensely happy.
“Oh yes Kenny! Of course I will!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck in another hug. Once they pulled away just a little Kenny moved up to cup her right cheek, fingers curling around her face lightly brushing the hair at the base of her neck. Marjorine leaned into the touch, eyes sparkling. She looked into Kenny's blue eyes and couldn’t help but feel like this was where she belonged. The boy tilted his head closer, their lips almost touching.
“Can I?” He whispered, his warm breath tickling her nose. Without bothering to reply she closed the gap and their lips touched and it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. The kiss was short and sweet and everything she had wanted. When they parted she gasped in joy and squeezed Kenny tight.
“Oh, I hope this isn’t a dream.” She sighed into Kenny’s neck. Kenny chuckled slightly, the action moving her body with his.
“Me either.” He said.