Chapter Text
Eloise
Growing up, Eloise had two best friends: Penelope who she knew since she could walk, and Cressida who Eloise met in high school at the age of thirteen.
The difference between those two was that now that Eloise was twenty-four, only one still stood beside her. Penelope.
Because in university Eloise had ruined things with Cressida. In her defence, Cressida had presented as an alpha which came as a shock to everyone. Her fangs dropped, and she smelled like a smoky richness to those around her.
Eloise always had a crush on her friend and so the scent left her on edge, battling with stronger emotions than she was prepared to deal with.
She had never been rude to people, but after Cressida presented Eloise couldn’t seem to tamper her emotions. Partly it was because she knew Cressida hated going on the dates her parents forced her out on, and because it pained her to see Cressida with other omegas.
Kissing other omegas. Touching them.
They shared a flat and Eloise felt suffocated seeing Cressida with others, unsure what was happening to her to cause such emotions.
Cressida made it clear to Eloise she wished to save herself for her bonded. Whilst wolves meeting their bonded was rare, some reserved themselves for it- too worried to let another bite them should they find their soulmate.
They could only feel the bond after the age of twenty-one. It was the age at which wolves came into their gift of a soulmate, so many did not find their mate until well into adulthood if at all.
Yet Cressida kept going on all these dates with incredibly flirty omega men while Eloise sat in their apartment huffing away. Cressida’s parents searched for ‘appropriate omegas’ ones who would be doting husbands for their alpha daughter. It was something Cressida despised the idea of. She longed for an equal partner, none of that dominant ‘omegas are there to serve’ bullshit.
One day, Eloise had snapped. She yelled at Cressida, saying she was a sad excuse of a pushover if she let her parents ignore her wishes to wait. Something was said about Cressida only caring about money and appearance, and Eloise made several more comments that were truly hurtful.
For some reason her wolf was agitated, and Eloise broke. The words kept coming out and Eloise felt as if she had no way to stop them, her wolf angered within her.
“Glad to see exactly how you feel about me Eloise,” Cressida had retorted. She slammed her door, and two days later her things were gone.
She no longer replied to Eloise’s texts and blocked her number.
It had hurt. Eloise thought their friendship was strong, and whilst she knew she had hurt her she was never given the chance to apologise. Never did she get to see her or hear her voice on the phone again.
Eloise thought of nothing else for a long time. She shut herself away, replaying that conversation as she threw up in the toilet as her first heat arrived. Her stomach hurt, her heart ached, and her wolf whined as if pained.
She was so unwell she ended up in hospital, sat curled up in a bed as she continued to think about her.
To this day Eloise thought of her often. Sometimes she looked at Cressida’s social media, she was a model now, but it only worsened the pain. It hurt to look at her, so instead Eloise relied on scent and memories.
Even now she only found true comfort when she lounged in one of Cressida’s old university sweaters she had stolen.
She had ruined a friendship, one that lasted almost a decade, in the span of ten minutes. A friendship that felt like the weight of the world to Eloise, leaving her numb in its absence.
Present Day
Stirring her coffee Eloise stared out the window. It was fall now, and red leaves littered the sidewalk of the small town she and Penelope moved to just outside of the city. It was quiet here, friendly, and Eloise felt at home wherever she roamed.
The cobblestone pathways paired beautifully with the thatch-roofed houses on this street, a breath of the past in its architecture.
The coffee shop smelled like freshly ground beans and cinnamon buns, leaving Eloise’s anxieties calming. She loved this time of year, mainly because Cressida always did. Her parents hated Halloween so Cressida would sneak over to Eloise’s to make green hot chocolate and watch scary movies that Eloise hated but suffered through for her.
She felt a tug in her chest then, and Eloise raised her hand to rub where the sensation was. Ignoring it, she took a sip of her drink and debated whether she wished to write today.
With a groan, she stood. Perhaps she needed food, Eloise was well known for missing meals. There was something about the passing of time that never clicked with her brain, one minute it would be ten in the morning and the next it was dark outside.
As she made it to the counter a woman turned, spilling her iced coffee all down Eloise’s knitted vest. She gasped, but not because the coffee was bloody cold, oh no. Eloise gasped because she felt it then in her chest, the warmth of a realised bond coursing through her as her eyes blazed gold.
Yet as she looked up to find her soulmate, she found a familiar face. Eloise staggered back a step, staring up at Cressida Cowper whose eyes blazed just as gold as her own.
She looked different now; she had a fringe, and her hair was longer than before. She wore brown woollen trousers and a cream cotton shirt, though Eloise could barely focus on the tone of her muscles beneath it as the spicy richness of Cressida’s scent wrapped around her.
It felt maddening, and Eloise wished to cry at how safe the scent left her feeling. Cressida’s scent seemed to soothe her anxieties, letting Eloise breathe for the first time in years.
Cressida stared at her, mouth opening and shutting. She stilled, rigid until suddenly she turned on her feet and left.
The sight of her leaving was something Eloise could not process, not yet. She stood there unmoving until a barista appeared with napkins to dry her vest. Even then Eloise went through the motions without truly taking her actions in, still remembering a familiar face but now with golden eyes.
They were bonded. Cressida Cowper was her soulmate.
Cressida was queer?
Eventually, Eloise packed up her things and headed home where she changed into pyjamas and stared at her phone. There in front of her sat Cressida’s Instagram page.
Cressida had always spoken to Eloise about soul bonds. Whilst she spoke of it to no one else, even laughing at the idea of them in public, Eloise knew better. She knew Cressida cherished the idea of someone destined for her, had looked forward to nothing more, and now her bond had unfortunately led her to Eloise who she despised.
Her friend had always been a wistful romantic, dreaming of what would happen if she should be lucky enough to find her mate or how she would cope if she did not.
But then she had to sit with a very soured fact; Eloise was the omega Cressida never wished for. Regardless, Eloise knew Cressida would find space for her; they would work past things because they had to.
Eloise: Can we talk?
She left the message in her inbox, gnawing on her nail as the hours ticked by. Eventually her phone lit up at eleven at night with a reply.
Cressida: If I ruined your vest I can pay for a replacement.
Now Eloise frowned, staring at her phone in confusion. The vest?
Eloise: I do not care about the vest. Cressida we are soulmates.
It took hours until a reply came, Eloise stared at her phone with tired eyes.
Cressida: We are but it does not matter.
Does not matter? Bonds were rare and were always cherished.
Eloise: Of course it matters. Please could we meet up?
Cressida: I do not think that is needed; I think it is best that we do not speak again. Pretend the bond does not exist. I think we can agree neither of us wants one another, it is likely a mistake. Goodbye Eloise. Please do not message me again.
The rejection was painful, more so than Eloise could have imagined. She had heard bonds were not meant to be rejected but Eloise could not have predicted the gut-wrenching pain that left her curling up as she gripped her stomach.
She felt like a failure and hoped as she cried that perhaps the bond was wrong. Maybe Cressida would find a bond with someone she truly cared for.
The pain did not go away. Eloise didn’t leave her house, remaining in her pyjamas. Between bouts of pain she stared at the wall, and then when the pain returned she would curl up on the floor foetal as she cried through it.
The issue was that each hour it only seemed to get worse, and now Eloise struggled to breathe as the cramps twisted in her.
Really, she should have called her doctor, but Eloise’s wolf told her this was deserved. She had failed her mate, and now she had to live with that. Every ounce of pain from the bond was something she had brought on herself.
Days passed and Eloise began to eat less and less. She stared at the floor where she lay, her stomach leaving her nauseous any time she thought of moving now.
It was deserved, Eloise reminded herself.