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Nai squints at the diagram and ponders, chin in hand. He’s been doing that more often now, Luida has noted. “You’re starting to look like Brad,” she’ll tease him.
The plant inside the tank he’s working on has unfurled, her petals drifting in the thick liquid. She watches him. Perhaps she’s just curious, but Nai feels judged by her stare. He was never as good at understanding their sisters as…
Nai clears his throat. He thinks he’s located the flaw in the tank—a minuscule leak in one of the high-hanging pipes. It’s too far for him to reach, even with the stepladder he’s been provided.
Maybe if…
Nai reaches up. From his arm flashes into being a long, sharp piece of metal. It unfurls further and further, growing like a sped-up picture of a weed.
The dependent plant watches it extend, big, inhuman eyes now alight with interest.
The single blade morphs into a chain, interlocking shards of metal, all pointed and sharp beyond human achievement.
But under Nai’s control, it’s gentler than a human touch.
He twists the knives as easily as he moves his own finger. They wrap around the loose pipe and guide it home, sealing the leak and securing the tank.
The plant inside doesn’t smile—Nai doesn’t know if they can—but he feels her approval radiating through her as she reaches her hand to the glass. Hello, she seems to be saying. There you are.
Nai brings his own hand up to the glass to meet hers. As he does, he notices the faint lines have started to glow on his wrist and fingers—and no doubt the rest of his body, too.
He resonates with her, allowing his reassurance to flow through her and accepting her greeting fondly.
Nowadays, this is the only company he has.
Luida looks up from her work when he returns. She’s testing soils, or something. “Success?”
“Yeah, she’s fine.”
Luida beams. “I knew you could do it. You’re so talented.”
He ducks his head at her praise.
“Don’t forget to write a report.”
“I won’t.” Nai has never neglected to turn in a report, or a maintenance checklist, or any of the myriad of bureaucratic responsibilities that come with being a plant engineer.
Now, his brother, on the other hand, would’ve had to be reminded every hour of every day.
But Nai’s not his brother. He’s good at his job, and he’s a good person.
Not that he doesn’t miss Vash—
Nai turns on his heel abruptly, cutting off his train of thought and whatever Luida was starting to say.
“I was going to—”
“Sorry, I have work. See you later for dinner.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Nai spins in a circle on the chair in his room. Despite the three years he’s been here on Ship Three, he hasn’t made much headway in making the room his own. There’s a map of the ship hanging on one wall, and over his bed, a picture of him, Rem, and Vash in the garden. Together, smiling.
But nothing else.
Nai focuses on the task at hand. He’s good at writing, communicating in the technical language of the engineers. From his work, no one would guess his true age.
His wallscreen pings.
Nai flinches. There’s only one person it could be. Even if it’s not their regularly scheduled time for calls, Nai knows who wants to talk to him.
Dammit.
He flicks the interface to chat mode, and then his own face fills the screen.
His own face, but in reverse.
Warmer. Golder. Friendlier.
“Nai!”
He can’t help the smile that crosses his lips. “Hi, Vash.”
“Listen, I know we have a schedule, but I had a bit of down time, and I really missed you.”
The words never fail to twinge.
“It’s good to see you, little brother.”
“You look good! How’re the plants over there?”
“All right.” His smile is the same as always, so bright and sweet and curious.
“And how is everyone? Brad? Luida?”
“They’re fine, too.” Nai takes a deep breath. “How…how’s Rem?”
Vash’s smile doesn’t falter. Maybe flickers. “She’s well. She misses you, too.”
“Good. I mean…I…she’s thinking about me. I’m glad.”
“She could never forget you, Nai. Neither could I. Just because you volunteered on Three doesn’t mean you disappeared from our minds.”
“I know. I just…”
“You two did leave on a rocky note. I never figured out why.”
Nai stares into the image of his brother’s beautiful, earnest blue eyes.
It hasn’t done a thing. Leaving, spending all that time and distance away from Vash, hasn't lessened Nai’s feelings at all.
“Typical Rem stuff. Typical me stuff.” Nai pulls a silly face, rolling his eyes and sticking out his tongue. “You know how insufferable I can be.”
Vash giggles. His cheeks flush pink through the spotty interface camera. “Yeah, but you’re still my brother. We still love you, no matter what.”
He places a hand against the screen. “Never forget that.”
Nai’s hand moves upward without his permission. Mirroring his brother, as always. “I won’t. I love you too.”
Nai has always loved his brother too much.
In every way. In all the wrong ways.
At first, he thought he was just being too protective. Keeping Conrad and the other scientists from experimenting on Vash. Holding their curiosity about the plant who ate and slept at bay.
Comforting Vash at night when he whimpered in unconscious fear. Reassuring Rem that Vash would be all right—just growing pains. They were only a year old, after all.
He was the big brother. It was his responsibility.
But soon they began maturing in other ways. Nai’s desire grew with Vash’s blossoming body.
He wanted. He hungered.
It scared him.
It scared Rem, too. Nai will never forget her huge eyes, her slightly-too-tight grip on his arm. Don’t hurt your brother, she’d hissed before letting him go into the room where Vash was already asleep.
And Nai had stared at Vash, his sweet, sleeping face, and imagined his brother’s fear. Worse than the day he had tripped and twisted his ankle. Worse than when the area between his legs had opened up and he’d had to be carried to the lab, where Conrad and the other skeleton crew of scientists had examined what they’d called his “bloom.”
He couldn’t do anything to his brother that would scare him. He couldn’t do anything that would hurt Vash.
He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do.
But even so, he pulled away. Shortened the hugs Vash gave him. Turned his head when Vash leaned in so his kisses only grazed the side of Nai’s cheek.
When the crew on Ship Three put out a call for plant engineers after a sickness had forced theirs into cryosleep ahead of schedule, Nai volunteered. He wasn’t a trained engineer, but he knew plants better than anyone. He was small and nimble and a fast learner.
Ship Three, in their desperation, agreed to take him on.
Not everyone onboard knew he was a plant—Rem and her contacts tried to keep the information quiet. Brad and Luida were good people; they knew, and they understood. Brad after a little time and encouragement.
Nai likes them. They’re kind to him, and they don’t treat him like a freak—or a child, like Rem sometimes did.
He has a good life. He likes it.
He has never told Vash about his feelings. Has never dared to scare him—or hurt him, as Rem feared. If Vash is a little confused because Nai left without warning, or lonely, since he’s now the only independent on Ship Five, that’s all right. Nai would rather love his brother from a distance than burn him with a love up close.
The arrival takes Nai by surprise. He wakes up to a message flashing on his interface screen. A photo of Vash, grinning and posing with his arm outstretched in greeting.
Nai starts to smile, then stiffens. Looks closer.
The photo was taken in his own docking bay. On Ship Three.
Its caption reads Guess where we are! Can’t wait to see you.
Nai’s heart misses a beat. Then misses another one. He isn’t sure it starts again.
The adult bodysuit of Project SEEDS is still a bit big on him. He throws it on, letting his overshirt fly loose down the corridor behind him as he tears through the ship, searching for Luida.
“What’s happening? My brother—”
“Yes.” Luida is beaming. “I was trying to tell you earlier, but you ran off without listening.”
Nai’s heart is in his throat. Crouched. Terrified of the news. “Why is he here?”
“The ships are coming together. The journey is going well, but the search for a new home is not. We’re conferring.” Luida shrugs. “Your brother and mother wanted to come along.”
Vash is here. Vash is coming to see me. Nai’s thoughts have swirled into a panic. What am I going to say to him? What is he going to say to me?
“We’re making it like a party.” Luida nudges him. “There’ll be food and music—I know you don’t particularly like that, but—”
“I’m coming,” Nai says resolutely. “I’ll be there.”
Vash, unsurprisingly, greets Nai with a gigantic hug. “You’re here! I half thought you wouldn’t be.”
Nai hugs back, cautiously. “Of course I’m here. It’s where I’ve been this whole time.”
“Yeah, but I thought you’d be hiding in your room or something.” Vash chortles to himself.
He’s grown. Nai has, too, so he’s expected this, but Vash’s height still takes him by surprise. His little brother is just as gangly as he is.
“You’re…so big.”
“Yeah.” Vash puffs his chest out proudly. “Did you think I’d still be the same little kid as before?”
Kind of. Nai has always thought of Vash as small. Fragile. Someone he can easily hurt.
Their reunion is interrupted by Rem, who appears behind Vash. She hugs Nai, but there’s that same guarded look in her eye as the day he packed up and left. Don’t hurt your brother.
“I’ve missed you,” she says instead this time.
Her embrace is tight. Sincere.
Nai strains his eyes to one side, trying to get a good glimpse of her face. What are you thinking? Are you afraid of me? Afraid for Vash?
“You’ll have to show me your room,” Vash says when Rem lets him go. “I see it in our calls, but—it’s different actually being there.”
Nai can’t agree more. He sees Vash every few weeks for their scheduled calls, but it’s beyond different for him to be here. Just like his sprouting height is a surprise, even though Nai’s seen his face countless times since they parted.
“But first—” Vash grabs Nai’s wrist and pulls him toward the refreshment tables, where the rest of the new arrivals to the ship are congregating. “Snacks.”
“So.” Vash surveys Nai’s quarters. “This is where you play-sleep.”
“Yeah.” Nai puts his hands behind his back. Why is he nervous? There’s no reason for him to be nervous. “And write my reports. And study. And talk to you.”
“Well, surely you don’t spend that much time in here.” Vash’s eyes sweep over the painfully empty space. “Don’t you hang out with the crew?”
“Sometimes. Luida invites me to the mess hall.”
“The mess hall.” Vash shakes his head. “You’re hopeless without me, you know that?”
He’s smiling, though. That infectious smile that has never failed to make Nai smile, too.
“Well, what do you do over on Five? Still talk to the cryotanks?”
“Yeah, some.” Vash is staring at Nai’s rumpled bedspread. He rarely gets in between the sheets, but it’s a more comfortable seat than his chair. “Rem’s been teaching me a lot about tech.”
“You’ll be piloting the ship before you know it,” Nai says with an absent smile. His little brother, all grown up and learning, just like him.
Growing away from him.
“Don’t really care to.” Vash shifts his gaze back to Nai.
There’s still a red streak on his lower lip from the jam-filled pastry he stuffed in his mouth before insisting Nai show him his bedroom.
He wraps his arms around Nai in another hug. “I’ve missed you so much, Nai. You don’t even know. Things aren’t the same without you.”
This hug is tighter, warmer. More intimate, somehow.
Nai’s heart quickens its pace. His cheeks grow hot. They’re alone, and his brother is so close to him it hurts. “Vash…”
“It’s okay, Nai. It’s just us.”
There’s an intent in Vash’s voice that fills him with simultaneous hope and fear.
He raises shaking hands to Vash’s shoulders to guide him away. “I…I can’t. Little brother.”
He’s so close. He’s so warm. His skin sears into Nai’s.
“You’re shaking.” Vash’s breath is warm on his neck. “Nai.”
Nai hasn’t noticed. “I can’t…I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never hurt me.” Vash’s lips press a soft kiss to Nai’s jaw. Just like he used to when they were little. When such a gesture was innocent. “Don’t feel bad.”
“Rem said.” Nai’s voice is draining from him, leaving him breathless and dry-mouthed. “Rem said we shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.”
“Rem isn’t here. You don’t have to worry about me.” Vash strokes reassuring patterns up Nai’s hip. “This is why you left, isn’t it. All that time ago.”
Nai can’t bring himself to say yes. His quivering breaths are answer enough.
“You’re my brother. I’m here for you the whole way.” Vash’s eyelashes brush against Nai’s cheek, and Nai knows he’s squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. “Please, Nai. I want this.”
It’s the soft, plaintive plea from his little brother that does it. Vash wants me.
A little groan punches its way out of his throat, and Nai breaks. He seizes Vash’s jaw, trapping him with their lips a hair apart before enveloping Vash’s mouth with his own.
Immediately he’s overwhelmed. The sweetness of his little brother’s skin, the whine vibrating from Vash’s mouth to his, the way Vash’s fists tighten in his shirt—
He wants this.
He wants me.
His teeth close on Vash’s lip, which elicits a high yet quiet sound from him.
Nai breaks the kiss. His eyes screw shut, and he grits his teeth in self-admonition. Can’t do this. Can’t hurt him.
“Nai.” Vash’s voice is low and crooning. He lifts Nai’s chin, guiding him away from where his head has buried itself in Vash’s shoulder. “Na-ai. Will you look at me?”
It’s not possible to deny that sweet voice.
Nai lets his eyes open, having squeezed so tightly that tears formed, to meet his brother’s warm, sharp gaze.
“It’s okay, big brother. You don’t have to be scared.” His thumb strokes Nai’s cheek. “I know it’s all new, but I’ve got you. Okay?”
He could hypnotize the whole starfleet with that face, Nai thinks. He feels himself nodding before he can stop. “You promise?” he asks, and he feels one year old again, teary at the thought of meeting and getting along with humans, needing assurance from Rem that it was, in fact, possible.
“I promise,” Vash murmurs. He presses his forehead to Nai’s. “I’ve got you, Nai. We’re in this together.”
“We…we are?”
“Always. I’ve loved you since I was able to touch your skin.”
The words send a shiver of unexpected pleasure through Nai. “And—and here I was thinking I was waiting for you to catch up with me.”
“My dearest, darling big brother,” Vash says. His hand inches up Nai’s overshirt, brushing the thin bodysuit underneath. “Your ability to read people will never cease to amaze.”
Their clothes come off slowly, with many reassurances from Vash. He’s foregone his old bodysuit, opting instead for a ragged shirt without any sleeves. His hands roam freely over Nai’s body, even as Nai is restricted by his own clothes.
“There you go.” Vash helps Nai peel his bodysuit down to reveal his growing, sprouting physique. “Whoa.”
A nervous laugh ripples through Nai. “Whoa, yourself.”
“I haven’t even taken anything off yet!” Vash giggles. He sits still, appearing to wait for Nai to do the honors—then when Nai doesn’t move, crosses his arms and pulls the waist of his shirt up and over his head.
Nai stares, unsure if he should or if he should look away from his brother’s bared chest, the soft curves of his stomach, the tender pink buds of his nipples.
Vash takes his hand, broad and strong and clumsy comparatively, and guides it to his hip. Nai gasps in surprise and rapture, the warm skin under his fingertips jumpy and responsive and soft, oh god so soft.
Vash’s other hand comes up to cup Nai’s jaw. “Hey. Hey.”
Nai’s jaw clenches. He’s touching his brother. His brother’s bare skin, which he hasn’t done since they were children bathing together, playing together, snuggling to sleep together (well, Vash slept).
It feels wrong. Forbidden. Like sneaking into the ship’s kitchen to steal Vash an extra cookie. Like sneaking into Rem’s computer to see what secrets she and the other scientists were hiding. (Rem hadn’t been too angry when she’d caught them. Only spoken to them firmly about snooping and respecting privacy and how she’d show them everything when they were ready. Apparently, they still aren’t ready yet.)
He leans into Vash’s hand. A whimper falls through his clenched teeth. “It’s okay,” Vash whispers. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
This sends another wracking wave of guilt through Nai, because he did go somewhere. He ran off and left Vash without even asking him how he felt.
“I’m—sorry,” he gasps. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Vash murmurs into his hair. “Nothing. I love you.”
Nai’s fist tightens. He wants.
“Let me.” Vash leads Nai’s hand lower. Into the waistband of his pants.
“Oh.”
“I know,” Vash says with a knowing grin. “I’m a knockout.” He gasps as Nai’s reaching fingers meet the sensitive join between his legs. Nai remembers what it looks like—remembers it’s different than his own.
Already he can feel it blossoming open under his touch.
“There you go.” Vash meets Nai’s eyes. His beautiful blue eyes are almost lost, dilated black under Nai’s touch. “Not so bad, huh?”
Nai laughs. It sounds a little hysterical.
“I think—” Vash interrupts himself with a shudder of pleasure. “I think you need to help me get these off.”
“Okay.” Nai rises at his invitation. Eases the waist of Vash’s pants down, down—until he can see the blooming lips of his little brother’s cunt.
The petals are the same color as Vash’s skin, but they’re thin and free-standing, layered on top of one another in a way that human flesh cannot be.
They glisten with a liquid, lightly tinted the color of amber, dripping from between Vash’s legs at a rate Nai hasn’t seen since he carried his little brother to the Ship Five scientists in desperation. Help him, please.
Nai stares at the opening in between the petals. It’s shining and pink and open.
Inviting.
I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t.
Vash wants it.
He steels himself to his doubts and plunges forward, lips meeting warm skin, wet with slick.
It tastes…not as sweet as he imagined. But not bad, either. It tastes like Vash. Vash’s skin, Vash’s scent that Nai used to breathe for hours at night when he held his sleeping little brother.
And Rem’s face when she would come in the morning, ready to greet them, but wary of their closeness.
Nai shuts his eyes, shuts her out. He sweeps his tongue along and inside Vash’s petal-lined entrance.
Vash’s legs shake inside the warm embrace of his arms. “N—Nai. Can I…can I lay down?”
Nai wordlessly shrinks back to let his brother lower himself onto the Ship Three mattress.
Vash is naked on his bed.
“C’mere.” Vash beckons, pulling Nai down on top of him in a clumsy tangle of arms and legs. He oomphs adorably. “Oh, c’mere. Hi.”
Nai rests his head on Vash’s chest. He feels so stupid. So helpless. He should be the one comforting Vash, not the other way around. He’s the big brother.
“You’re doing great,” Vash whispers. “I know it’s a lot. But for first-timers, we’re doing just fine.”
Nai laughs again. It occurs to him, for the first time, that his little brother is just as nervous as he is.
“I love you,” he breathes into Vash’s sweet, sweet skin. He wishes his words would burn their way in, leaving an indelible mark.
“Love you, too.” Vash shifts, and Nai feels lips on his temple. “You ready?”
His fingers are at Nai’s waist, ready to pull the bodysuit all the way off.
Nai nods, breath trembling.
Ten fingers gently work their way under the fabric and pry it away from Nai’s body. He shifts, letting the bodysuit slide free from his legs.
Between his legs is something longer and more flexible than Vash’s petals. It extends, seemingly of its own accord, as if it senses its other half is near and is reaching for it.
Because where else would it reach, besides the opening in Vash’s legs? The place that seems perfectly shaped, perfectly designed to welcome it.
He doesn’t fight.
Vash’s fingernails dig into his arm as Nai sinks into him with a half anguished, half enraptured sigh.
It feels like coming home.
They’ve crossed the galaxy on these ships. They came from the same womb. Sometimes the two of them were right next to each other, and sometimes they were further apart.
Distance doesn’t matter now. Nai is inside his little brother, and he never wants to leave.
Vash bites his lip. Even in this attempt to keep quiet, a moan ekes from between his teeth.
“Oh—” Nai’s hands rush clumsily to Vash’s face. Cup his cheeks. “Am I hurting you? Is—what can I—?”
“It’s okay,” Vash gasps. His face is flushed pink. “I’m okay.”
“But it hurts you. You’re hurting.”
“Nai.” Vash blinks at him. His eyes are clear, despite his obvious discomfort. “You’re not hurting me. I want this, more than anything.”
Looking at his earnest expression, delicately parted lips, the soft upturn of his brows, Nai can’t find it within himself to contradict his brother. He relaxes, letting his member sink further into Vash.
“Yeah,” Vash says softly, stroking Nai’s cheek. “You’re doing so good, Nai.” He places a gentle kiss on Nai’s lips. “Mmm.”
A small, quiet part of him notes how dangerous Vash could be with that tender method of persuasion. He could convince Nai to do just about anything.
His hips move back and forth on their own. Vash whines, rocking in tandem with him. His petals close around Nai’s length, pulling him close and trapping him there.
Nai’s not complaining.
“I’ve loved you for so long,” he starts. He wants the words to be gentle, but they come out in a harsh hiss. “I—I wanted to be with you, but I…I was…”
He can’t finish.
“I know.” Vash’s fingers lace in his hair. “You were scared.”
“I didn’t…I…who said anything about scared?”
“Nai,” Vash reprimands teasingly. “This is me you’re talking to. I know you.”
I know you.
Vash knows him intimately. With a look, with a touch, he knows what Nai has felt.
And Nai on the other hand has gone all this time without realizing Vash loved him back.
He rests on his elbows, putting nearly all his weight on Vash, and leans in close to his brother. “I’m…”
Vash’s fingers stroke his hair. “It’s okay,” he whispers in Nai’s ear. “Everything’s okay.”
And Nai has no choice but to believe him.
They just lie there, coupled. Lost in the bliss that is togetherness.
Nai thinks time passes. Their bare chests, pressed together, have become hot and damp with sweat. He shifts, not wanting to squash his little brother into aches or pain. “You okay?”
“Mm. Yes.” Vash lifts his head. There’s a big, almost dopey smile on his face. “I’m happy.”
Nai searches his own feelings. He finds nerves, and fear—but even still, so much joy. “Me, too.”
“I love you.”
Nai smiles at the words and leans down for another kiss on Vash’s pink, perfect lips. “Love you.”
“Will you…” Vash seems to be steeling himself for his next question. “Will you come back to Ship Five with me?”
“Oh.” Nai hasn’t thought that far ahead. “I…I still have responsibilities here. And I don’t know how Rem would feel about that.” Her wide-eyed face, with its guarded expression, flashes in his mind. “Why don’t you come here with me? We can start to train you, too.”
“No, Nai.” There’s something in Vash’s voice. Is it fear?
Has Nai finally scared him?
“I want you to come to Ship Five with me. At least for a bit.”
He glances nervously at the door, as if he’s afraid of being overheard.
“Vash.” Nai holds him tight. “What is it?”
“I found something,” he whispers. “Something…I don’t know. Rem…”
“What does Rem have to do with it?”
Nai’s little brother swallows. Bites his lip. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Love me?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Vash blinks those breathtaking eyes up at Nai. “Then I need your help.”