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"Seriously Sayori, the backrubs are entirely unnecessary," Monika says, trying not to shift position on the comfortable couch.
"Yeah, but I know you like them. Your body doesn't lie."
Monika blushes. How can her sweet innocent girlfriend word things so salaciously? "Alright, alright. But this is my own fault right now. My terrible writing posture is the cause of my pain."
She can feel Sayori shake her head. "I don't care whose fault it is. I don't want you to be hurt, especially 'cause it makes you clam up."
"I mean, I don't want to sound ungrateful. The pain between my shoulder blades is pretty familiar, so I appreciate the comfort. I've always said that it felt like I was growing-oh my God!"
Sayori stops, concerned. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, I just realized something. Oh my God."
"Spill the peas!"
"Beans, Sayori, the expression is beans." Monika tilts her head back, and looks up at Sayori. "I can finally get my wings."
"So Monika, what did you want my permission for exactly?" Yuri asks, looking to her side. Monika wonders if she's bothered by people trying to look her in the eye. A question for another time.
"I'm trying to give myself fully functional wings."
Yuri's eyes widen. "Oh!"
"I know, right?” Sayori chimes in. “So cool!"
“It's very exciting,” Monika agrees. “But it’s going to be pretty difficult. Lots of character file changes. And it's definitely not going to work the first few times. But it's always been a dream of mine."
"I completely understand. If it works for you, I may try it myself. But in the meantime, how do you suggest we begin?"
Monika shrugs. "Add wings to my sprites and see what happens?"
Yuri nods. "I suppose that is a good place to start. We should do it outside, to avoid any issues with tight spaces."
"I guess that's right, heh. Feels kind of odd to do this kind of thing outside of the coding room, but we have practical reasons this time, I guess."
Sayori nods. "Exactly! We'll get to see the sunshine and try to get high."
Yuri stifles a laugh as they walk outside, but Monika has to wonder if Sayori made the joke on purpose. It isn't beneath her to pretend ignorance for a laugh. Is it a good habit? Hard to say.
The house doesn't have a yard so much as a clearing that happens to be around the house. There's no need to maintain it, since the grass is just decorative.
Monika opens a console window wide enough for all of them to see. She's nervous about using feathered wings at first, with the angelic connotations, but neither of her companions voices any complaints. Sayori silently watches with all the focus she can muster and Yuri keeps her commentary on the entirely functional.
Eventually, the files are ready to be substituted for her own. A moment of nerves, double-checking backups, make the swap before she can run away.
"Here goes nothing!"
The weight of the wings is her first warning something has gone wrong. If they were going to make her fly, the wings ought to make her feel lighter, right? But she tries to take off anyway, in one massive swish of wings.
The resulting pain makes her previous backaches seem like nothing. Red hot daggers race down her spine, carving flesh from bone. She realizes, near-deliriously, that her back muscles weren't designed for this. Of course not. She's done everything wrong, why not one more time?
The only thing making the darkness less relieving is the distant shouts.
Monika wakes, pain driving her to the surface.
"Ahh!"
"Geez, shit, I told you that was too much ice!"
"She's awake, she's awake!"
"Sorry, sorry, we can try something else-"
The cold source of pain on her back retreats, giving her enough space to think. Ice, for whatever impossible thing she'd done to her muscles. She had no idea if it would help.
"Hey,” Monika manges to mutter.
Sayori kneels down to look her in the eye. Monika has been placed on the couch face down, her shirt removed to let the others press ice and possibly some kind of cream onto her aching back.
"Hey yourself buster.”
Monika sighs. "I'd say I'd like a massage right now, but this might be beyond your skillset."
"Yuri did use a lot of big words saying what was wrong with you. Maybe I can kiss it better?"
"If you want to."
Yuri clears her throat. "Ahem."
"Oh right, the doctor has to handle you."
"I'm not a medical doctor, Sayori."
Sayori tilts her head. "You took charge like a pro though."
"That doesn't make me a doctor, arguably, my inexperience and rapid response makes me more akin to a-"
Natsuki gives Yuri the smallest of nudges, which is enough to get her to refocus.
"Right.” Yuri takes a deep breath. “Monika, you have, as far as I can tell, strained, pulled, torn or disconnected every muscle in your upper back. We reverted the wings but that didn't fix most of the injuries."
"That-" Monika tries to put a hand on her back to check for emphasis but ends up with more pain and her arm flopping to the floor, "-that seems consistent with my experience."
"If you heal at the standard rate, it will be quite some time until you recover. Although considering the nature of our existence, the healing may be accelerated. Or we can attempt to modify your character file to remove the injury."
"Ah,” Monika says. “And what does the expert think?"
"Monika, I know as little as you do. Don't put this on me."
"Sorry. What is your recommendation?"
Yuri purses her lips. "I think you should take a character file backup. I know you're reluctant to do so- it's understandable, I get it. But this kind of injury doesn't get better by itself."
Sayori speaks up. "Can we wait a bit, to see that faster healing kicks in?"
"It's up to Monika."
"Let's see how it goes for a while?” Monika proposes. “I know it's hypocritical of me to worry about character file changes but-"
Yuri sighs. "Monika. It is not hypocritical for you to worry how your very being could be altered by the process. Just because you haven't suffered a great deal from file changes doesn't mean you are wrong to be concerned."
Monika would argue, but she's pretty sure anything that vigorous would aggravate her injuries. She attempts to relax further into the couch.
"Alright. We'll give it some time. You guys can disperse now."
Yuri and Natsuki nearly collide on their way out, and start a murmured argument or conversation as they walk away. Sayori, as far as Monika can tell, doesn't move.
"That includes you Sayori. I'll be fine staying here, and falling back asleep or something."
Sayori shakes her head. "Nope! Nurse Sayori is staying right here!"
Monika does her best to glare, limited by the fact that she can barely lift her head.
"But seriously, I'd just feel worse if I left you alone. And you need to eat to help with the healing process. So I get to feed you soup and you get someone to dote on you."
"Is that what you're after? Someone helpless to care for?"
Sayori doesn't say anything for a second, and Monika can't see her face to get a read on her.
"That came out worse than I thought. If you want to feed me some soup you can go for it.” Monika pauses for a careful breath. “I just don't want to burden you with my stupid mistake. Again."
"It's not a burden. I like to take care of you. You act so tough all the time, so it's nice to see another side of you."
"I'm more palatable when I'm as weak as a kitten?"
"Stop it." Sayori runs a hand through Monika's hair and Monika trembles despite the new dimension it adds to her pain. "This is another side of you, like a coin. The sun is pretty when it's shining bright, but it's still pretty behind a cloud. And maybe easier to look at."
"I am usually less sedentary than this. I'll be a good patient for nurse Sayori I guess. Can I get some of that soup and maybe we can adjust what's going on with my back? Cause I'm pretty chilly and the cold water and cream isn't exactly pleasant."
"I'm on the case! Soup first."
Monika doesn't think she's ever been happier to drink tomato soup. They ordinarily don't make it a lot. Why bother when any dish Monika can imagine is a few commands away? But simplicity has its charms.
"Thank you Sayori."
"No problem! Tell me if anything hurts while I clean up your back okay?"
"Yeah."
Sayori is so, so careful with the towel as she cleans up Monika. It's hard to believe she's even there when Monika closes her eyes, just the whisper of cloth against her skin and an impression of nearby warmth.
"You're being quiet,” Monika notes.
"You can go back to sleep, if you want. I'll try not to disturb you."
Monika shakes her head as much as she can. "I got all the sleep I wanted earlier. I'll just be here and bored for the rest of the day."
"You can skip being bored by sleeping!"
Monika giggles. "Doesn't work that way for me I'm afraid. I might get away with a short nap, but I'll be up again before too long. Now that I'm getting enough sleep, you won't catch me napping anymore."
"Poor you."
"I like to think of it as a blessing. So I can always be around to talk to you guys. Not as great right now, of course."
"But sleeping is so good!" Sayori insists.
"So is everything else."
"I guess. Try to rest though. For recovery and all that."
"Yeah.” Monika sighs and relaxes into the couch. “Being with you guys will be better if I'm healthy."
"So, judging by the fact that I still can't move, normal healing speed."
Yuri nods. "Yes."
"Do you think it will get better by itself?" Monika asks.
"Maybe after a few months."
"I can't burden you all with my limp body for that long."
Natsuki starts. "If you fucking dare use that as an excuse-"
"I'm joking, I'm joking. Sort of. But I do want to be better. Resume my life."
Everyone waits for Monika to continue.
"I'm scared, okay,” Monika admits. “It's scary. Even though I know you guys will bring me back, I won't remember a lot of this. And- I can't help but think you guys will be happier without me."
Sayori grabs Monika's hand. "Mmmonika." She draws out her name like she doesn't want to stop saying it. "It's going to be fine. Do you really think I'd let you go, after everything we've been through?"
"We appreciate your presence,” Yuri assures her. “We won't abandon you."
Natsuki rolls her eyes. "As if we'd do anything that dumb."
"Thanks. Go for it."
Monika gives the group a small bow. "I'm sorry for all the trouble, everyone. I should have thought more carefully before I acted."
"It wasn't not your fault,” Yuri says. “We were doing an experiment, we knew there were risks. That we didn't anticipate the magnitude of those risks isn't your fault."
Natsuki nods. "What she said."
"I proposed the idea, I should have been more responsible."
"Moni, you're allowed to take risks. You're allowed not to be perfect every time. It's-” Sayori shakes her head, her voice trembling. “We're not in danger if you mess up. We're helping each other. So you have space to make mistakes."
"Right. If I mess up a big programming thing we can revert it and if I mess up a small thing I can eat the consequences. Sayori, do you want to go on a walk? I say we should cuddle but I've spent enough time immobile recently."
"Yep! Let me get changed first."
"Sure, sure. We'll come back to the whole wing idea later, Yuri?"
"Of course,” Yuri says. “You can take your time. I would understand if you would want to avoid the subject."
"No, I never let mistakes discourage me." Monika looks into the distance. "But this time I'll have you guys to help pick me back up.”