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English
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Published:
2016-01-20
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582
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1/1
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5
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79

When The Planet Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That's Fucked Up

Summary:

In which Prince, Priest, and Bunny somehow get stranded on a planet and there is a lot of crying and marbles. Emphasis on "somehow" and "planet". Also the word "of".

Notes:

I wrote this a while ago. Just a goofy small fic with no satisfaction or fulfillment.

Work Text:

Mmmm, it was firm. It was nice to nuzzle your face against. It was smooth. When you stuck your tongue out to lick it, it was slightly salty. It was a rock.

Prince stood over Priest, one booted foot hovering. “Tsk.”

“Bunnykins, Bunnykins… yes,” Priest murmured in his sleep, oblivious to the natural –

“Hehe, give us a wiggle.”

The natural landscape around –

“Up the mainsail,” Priest giggled into the rock his head rested against.

Prince tapped him with his boot, only serving to elicit a “Ah, not so rough” from Priest. Prince kicked him in the side, full-force. Priest screamed and clung to his master’s leg after a little disoriented reeling.

“Oh, please please, Prince, I need to be warned,” Priest started to whine. “It reminds me of my days as a PoW in Vietnam, especially… this, uh, jungle.”

“You were never in Vietnam,” Prince said with a flat voice, staring coldly back down at him.

“Well, geographically speaking, geographically speaking, that once, I was. I mean I was there once.” Priest cracked a half-smile and giggled nervously.

“Sometimes I really regret your continued existence.”

The sun was at its zenith and the leaves above them were translucent blue, air filtering down onto the moss and grass covered clearing – if it could be called a clearing. Too many tree stumps and logs and a steep hill going off to the north. A rustling came from the ordinary-green-looking bushes. Bunny came running through.

“Um! There’s this dragony thingy and I think that it wanted the engine or turbo-drive or whatever the corkscrew one is, so I gave it to her! Actually, I just stood there while she ate it, but I did tell her that that was kind of anti-social of her.“

She frowned. “Oh, are you up now? I missed you SO much, you have no idea.” She flung herself down at Priest and clung to him as he continued to cling to Prince.

“I do so long for the days when a good murder wasn’t so permanent,” Prince said to himself as he shook Priest from his leg.

Priest sniffed with emotion as he helped both himself and Bunny from the ground. “I’m hungry; the rocks are teases.”

“MY rocks don’t tease!” Bunny announced proudly, shaking her breasts.

“And they are good enough to eat!” Priest giggled, jumping up and down.

Bunny quieted suddenly. “Hm. Actually. I’m hungry too.”

“Dear God, you people. Just eat.”

Priest shuffled his feet, at a loss. He shuffled his feet so much that he stubbed his foot ever-so-slightly on a log. “But, sir, um, I don’t have food and I’m not sure where the ship exactly is.”

“Then FIND something to eat,” Prince said, picking up the problematic log as if to hit someone with it, but then deciding to throw it aside. This had no effect on anything whatsoever.

Priest burst into tears. “ALL I HAVE IN MY POCKETS ARE MARBLES!”

Prince shook his head. “What the hell?”

“I have all these damn marbles in my pockets,” Priest said, dumping marbles on the ground by the fistfuls from his suit jacket.

“Why… just WHY?”

Bunny stepped up to Prince defiantly. “His interest in marbles is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and you will just have to deal with it and not be mean! Seriously! …Oh my God, this one is really pretty!”

“I know, I got it in Jamaica,” Priest replied, still crying while Bunny squated on the ground looking at the marbles in wonder.