Chapter 1: Caught
Chapter Text
“Hei?”
It starts with him caught off guard. He breaks his gaze from the expanse of stars above him, springs to his feet on the chilly stone of the palace tower, grabs the hilt of his sword, and whirls around only to see the princess. His armor clanks messily in the quiet night air. She barely reacts to his battle-ready stance.
Well, he’s caught. Only on guard now.
“Your Highness?” He breathes, a strange mix of relief and trepidation. “It’s late.”
“It is.”
“Why are you up?”
“I could ask you the same.”
“I’m almost always up. You know that.” He answers gruffly. He takes one last glance at the canvas of stars above them before turning back to Yin. "Allow me to take you back to your chambers, Your Highness."
"But why were you up? Up here?" Though she doesn't resist him when he settles a hand on the small of her back to guide her back into the tower and downstairs, the unyielding curiosity in her voice is a protest on its own.
Hei sighs. "Just—"
"You're not just patrolling." Her monotone voice echoes in the narrow tower with their footsteps, as if to rebuke him multifold. Hei huffs because she's right; he's never assigned to patrol the roof of the castle because he'd be too far from Yin's chambers.
He decides to humor her, just a little. She has a way about her that always gets him to break a wall or two of his, just for her. "I needed some fresh air," he mutters. It's not entirely a lie.
Thankfully, the halls are quiet when they reach her chambers. Hei opens the door and stands aside to let the princess enter first, as usual, before following her in and shutting the door. While Yin gets back under the covers, he remains poised by the door to guard her for tonight.
And curse his sharp hearing, because he can't ignore Yin's mutter. "You could've gone out during the day if you wanted fresh air."
"I'm on duty during the day," he grunts. His eyes are trained on the curtained window ahead of him.
"You're always on duty." Her eyes are trained on him, just like his words that she’s turned around onto him, and he feels it. "I could report you for insubordination because you left your post tonight."
She could if she wanted to, Hei knows. Usually, a conversation like this would end with him apologizing as formally as he was taught, then her saying it's okay. But he just has to make sure this time... "Would you?" When his eyes flick to hers just for a moment, he notes that they've fluttered shut already, maybe some moments ago.
"Not if you tell me what you were doing up there." An ultimatum: Yin's favorite move.
Hei sighs. It takes a few long moments to get the words out of his mouth. "I was watching the stars."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
Yin doesn't reply immediately. Hei's attention briefly drifts to the faint chirping of crickets outside, him thinking the conversation has ended there and he's been spared. He’s wrong. "When can I watch the stars with you?"
His brows furrow. "Your Highness, you're—"
"—Blind. But you're not."
"And?"
"You can watch the stars for me."
Hei's mouth opens then shuts, then opens again, "I'm afraid I'm not following, Your Highness?"
Even in the dark, he can almost see her pout and puff. "Take me with you to watch the stars, Hei."
"It's not safe out at night," He mutters gruffly, a near match to the princess's attitude.
"But you'll be with me. Therefore, I will be safe."
Hei sighs quietly, despite being well-acquainted with the stubborn hardheaded woman he's sworn to protect till the end of his time. Yin is not wrong, she's only parroting what the rest of the kingdom already agrees upon. If Hei is within her vicinity, she has sufficient protection.
What's worse is that Yin also knows that whether her knight is on or off duty doesn't matter. "Why use that sword when you have diligence and will as your weapons?" She'd ask teasingly, her perfect, still face not changing once, after spectating Hei sparring with some fellow knights.
"Hei." Her voice, with growing insistence, takes him out of his thoughts.
"I can't, Your Highness." His voice pulls up his walls to stand tall and sturdy once again. He keeps his gaze directly forward. "There is neither necessity nor value in it. I advise you to get some sleep before dawn breaks."
A loud silence follows his words. It makes his muscles tense just a little under his armor. Yin speaks finally, no more than a mumble, "You should sleep too."
"I'm on duty."
She only huffs at that. He listens to her breath slow down and even out. "Sleep well, Your Highness," he murmurs out of habit.
Chapter 2: Sight
Chapter Text
He finds her in the gardens, far later than he would've liked. The crickets chirp their familiar song. The fountain stages a quiet trickling of water that never stops.
Hei doesn't like it when he has to go here to retrieve the princess. His armor clinks from his movements, and his boots clap against the aged stone paths. His cloaked form is occasionally too large for him to brush by a tight space without messily nudging past some foliage. No matter how he tries to move, his presence is nothing more than a disturbance where Mother Nature should be resting peacefully.
Yin, on the other hand, could become one with the gardens herself. Hei doesn't know how she does it. Maybe it's the way she would sit still at whichever stone bench she finds first. Or how the moonlight drapes generously over her figure like the blankets in her chambers. Or that she doesn't bat away the few winged insects that will curiously flutter over to her like the flame she is. Or the promising chance that some stray cat would wind between her legs until she picked it up onto her lap and let it settle in the folds of her silk robes.
"Your Highness," Hei says once he catches sight of her. Fortunately for him, she happens to be at the same bench as last time. The moonlight lets him see her, and the quiet air lets her hear him. "Your maids have changed your bedsheets and now request you to return to your chambers for the night."
"Oh," she utters, sounding much like, Hei thinks, the wind chimes around the gardens occasionally pulled into a dance by some midnight breeze. "But I wanted to see the stars."
He frowns slightly but decides to relent this one time. In such a busy kingdom, quiet nights like this are rare to come by. "Very well then, Your Highness," he mutters, "I'll return in no later than an hour."
He turns to leave, but something catches on his cloak. He looks back and spots Yin’s fingers clinging to the fabric. "No, I said I want to see the stars," she says, her voice just slightly boldened by insistence.
Hei raises a brow, though not for the purpose of expression; he knows by now that she can pick up his confusion from his voice alone, a feat others seldom could achieve with him. "And I said I will leave you be for that but soon come back to retrieve you."
"But if you leave, I won't be able to see the stars."
He pauses for a few seconds, thoroughly puzzled, before he remembers.
"You can watch the stars for me."
Hei sighs and patiently removes Yin's hand from his cloak. Her dainty fingers settle back on her lap. "Surely I'd be of more use patrolling the gardens while within your vicinity. Is it necessary that I directly accompany your stay out here?"
Her head turns up in his general direction. Though her rosy irises don't exactly meet his eyes, she doesn't need working vision to make the knight feel like she's staring into his very soul. Some futile, crumbling defense is about to tumble out of Hei's mouth but she speaks first, "Are you denying me?"
He sighs—again, because what more could he do?—and his resignation is a mere mutter as he settles beside her on the chilly bench. "Not at all, Your Highness."
Yin huffs and hums, the one, he recognizes, where she slightly lilts her voice down; she's calmed. "What do you see?" She asks after a minute.
"In the garden?"
"In the sky."
Hei looks up promptly. It's fairly foggy, but he doesn't mention that when he can still see some parts of the starry expanse overhead. "I see stars." He answers rather simply.
"Bright or dim?"
"Dim."
"They feel bright to me."
And Hei finds that amazing. Spectacular. Beautiful, even. No one else can effortlessly get him to take their word on any given day like a starved man reaching out for his rations. Well, sometimes he forgets that Yin—no, Kirsi can do what no one else thought. She can make what no one else could dream, like the tiny smile that tugs his lips up for this little moment. He couldn't fathom not serving such a woman, one who makes his chest go tight with something he still can not name to this day.
He says quietly, "It's getting late, Your Highness."
"What about the moon?"
"Some fog is covering it."
"Oh." If it weren't Hei here, her disappointment would have traveled with the breeze, unnoticed.
He finds that he can’t bear such a look on her. "It may shine into your chambers later tonight."
Yin seems to contemplate for a bit more, but to Hei's relief, she stands and begins walking in front of him as he follows just behind. They make their way to her room, one pair of footsteps quiet, and the other firm. The sound of his boots against the stone floors serves as a steely, mechanical reminder that the knight would never leave the one he serves.
He walks with his hand hovering just over the small of the princess's back, ready to steer her lest she stumbled into anything in the way. But she walks just fine, just perfect. He wonders how many times she'd taken this route before, how many times she'd done this, thought of this, wanted this, wanted this with him.
There’s a small number of things that he doesn’t know about her, but he supposes this will be one of those things.
Once they reach her chambers, Yin reaches behind her and grabs Hei's gauntlet-clad hand to make sure he enters with her instead of standing on guard just outside as he should be. He can't find it in himself to protest.
He shuts the door behind them when they're in, and Yin lets go of his hand. With the same reserved yet steady steps, she goes forth to pull aside the curtains over her window. Moonlight spills joyously over her body and across the floor, the stars twinkle like they’re happy to see her, and he hears her breathe a quiet, contented sigh. He almost wants to let out a breath himself, for some force of nature had saved his promise and given both of them something tonight: For Yin, the clear night sky, and for Hei, the sight of his princess embraced by a luminescence she can not see yet will revere more than anyone can.
“What do you see now?” She asks, taking him out of his thoughts.
As he shifts into position to guard inside her chambers, he answers, just for her and nobody else. “The fog has left. I see the stars and the moon, both bright.” She hums her acceptance of his answer. He watches as she leans on the windowsill and props up her chin with her palm.
It's too late in the night for either of their own good, but Hei doesn't have the heart to tell her to go to bed. Rather, he doesn't have the courage to let go of the moment the sky had generously placed in front of him. Perhaps, just this one time, he'll allow himself to be selfish.
Chapter 3: Dance
Chapter Text
Throughout the month, Yin has been asking to watch the stars again. Hei has been declining. That’s all there is to it, he tells himself.
Today, the princess is angry with him.
It’s the way she had refused to let him help her into her daytime attire after her shower, both today and yesterday. He could only stand as still as stone and not utter a single word of his concerns as he heard frustrated rustling of skirts and a gasp no doubt from her tripping over them when tugging them on.
It’s the way she would now more often than not enter her chambers then promptly order Hei to remain on standby next to the door, specifically inside the room but not out, as if to taunt him, keeping him out of reach from any bit of the interior. If he so much as takes a step further inside, Yin herself comes up to him and steadily pushes his chest back until she hears his armor against the wall.
It’s the way she’s been glaring him down—
“Glaring?” The head mage scoffs. A small cauldron sits in front of him, aged by rust and holding countless volatile liquids. It bubbles leisurely as he stirs it. “She would never.”
Hei is starting to regret confessing these observations to November. He grunts, “You just don’t know what she looks like when she’s glaring at someone.” He’s standing idly by the bookshelves from across the room, unsure what to do of himself. But, all he really needs to do right now is remain standing as far as possible from November and whatever he may be doing. The head mage’s office brings no feeling of organization, sense, or safety for anyone who isn’t a mage.
That’s the least of Hei’s problems right now, because he needs to figure out how to end this strange air with the princess first.
“Of course, I do! Come on, Hei, you know what I mean. She would never glare at you.” November presses.
He’s correct, to an extent. November was once a child full of mischief and wits. That much was obvious when he previously attempted training to become a knight. He had everything other recruits could only dream of: incredible technique, lethal agility, and a mind sharper than his blade to top it all off. What he didn’t have was obedience. He could not, for the life of him, hold the attention stance for more than six seconds. He couldn’t bear to take orders from nearly anyone superior in rank to him. Once mentorship under the previous head mage had opened up, November took up the opportunity. It worked out fantastically, for him and everyone involved. Today, he can handle his own, under no one’s command but seldom the king’s.
Yin had expressed annoyance about November many times. She’d huff when she had to sit with her parents and watch them lecture him after each disastrous training session. She’d hurriedly leave Hei’s vicinity whenever November successfully picked a fight with him. She especially hated when he’d tug her ribbons out of her hair, and Hei hated it even more, for naturally he would go to vast lengths to retrieve them. It got especially difficult once November learned how to brew potions of invisibility.
So yes, she would never glare at Hei, because there was always someone else, usually November, to be glaring at. Until now.
“Are you done thinking over there?” November drawls. “Oh, by the gods, you’re so dramatic. There’s no way Yin is that angry with you. Where is she anyways? How are you even here without her?” He bends over the cauldron to carefully shake some thyme into the mixture.
Hei mutters, “I thought you’d never ask. She’s getting her dress fitted by her tailor for the ball this weekend. They asked me to return only after an hour.”
“For the ball…” he murmurs, absent-minded. Then he realizes and looks directly at the knight for the first time of the day, “Wait, the ball! Just give her the most magnificent dance of all time at the ball.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it! Doesn’t she love dancing with you?”
He hesitates. “Yes.”
“And only you, yes?”
“She dances with other people.” Other men. Other suitors.
November snorts. “She doesn’t love it with them.”
They’ve both seen it. The way they hold her like they’d hold any other lady of royalty. He’s sure most of them don’t intend such mistakes, however he can’t help but notice how the princess could never relax enough to dance as well as she can, as well as he’s seen her do before.
(He remembers how, the one night they ditched a ball, she dully vented to him and November. The dancers swung and turned her quickly to keep up with the rhythm of the orchestra, like the music matters more than the partner. They dipped her with no warning, a common move that she hated.
“Careless, careless, careless. How is it all beyond me? Can’t I be careless too?” She had muttered under her breath as she stared at nothing and kicked her feet under the fresh water. Hei had rode all three of them out to the furthest end of the riverbank that night; his executive decision after November abruptly guided Yin to him during the dances just when tears were about to line her eyes.
As the river moved idly over her feet, left to right, Hei stood with her hand in his for safety and let the chilly water invade his boots. Perched atop the stallion, November said, “Or, I can make them blind too. You know, forbidden solutions and all.”
Hei scoffed, November swatted his arm, and Yin’s lips curled up faintly.)
“She enjoys dancing with you too, you know?” Hei says.
The mage stops stirring his brew. “We’re talking about you, idiot. You and her. Now, are you going to dance with her this weekend or not?”
“Yes, idiot, I’m her knight,” he grunts, idly inspecting his gauntlets. “But that can’t be enough. Won’t she still be angry that we haven’t gone to see the stars like she wants to?”
Hei doesn’t hear a reply. When he glances up, November looks like he’s half a spell away from strangling him. “That’s what this is about?” He mutters. He takes an incredibly thin breath, and dons an incredibly thin smile. His knuckles go white from gripping the lip of the cauldron. “She wanted to watch the stars with you, but you declined,” he recites sweetly. “Can I ask why?”
Hei sighs, “I’ve already done it once earlier this month, yet she insists we do it again.”
“Then do it again!” November barks. The smile has vanished.
“It’s a waste of time, not to mention the risk if we have to leave the castle to find a good enough view.”
“Oh?” He scoffs. “Is it a waste of time to fulfill your princess’s wishes?”
Hei bristles. “Stop trying to guilt me.”
“You’ve forgotten how to serve her, Hei,” November presses with an intensity he rarely ever exhibits. “She has come to trust you with her life because you’ve dedicated yours to it for years. Why else would she want to watch the stars with you and no one else? You’re not just a knight, you’re her knight. Now, get out of my office and do your job.”
Her knight. “This is hardly any office.”
“Out!”
Hei only grumbles as he swings open the door.
Yin is there, one hand raised like she was just about to knock. Three guards are flanking her. “Your Highness,” Hei folds into a light bow right away. She definitely heard that crack in his voice, didn’t she?
And, “Your Highness.” November salutes lazily like nothing ever happened. Hei wastes no time stepping into the hallway to shut the mage’s door.
Her attention remains on him as she waves a hand to dismiss the guards. “I thought you’d be sparring.”
“It’s lunchtime for the other knights right now.”
“But duty’s always first for you, isn’t it?”
“I thought you’d still be at the tailor’s workshop.”
“We finished the fitting early so I was escorted back to you.”
“Escorted by your request?”
Yin only begins walking back to her chambers. Hei has no choice but to follow close behind. Her hair is mussed only a little, presumably from putting on then removing several dresses in the workshop. She’s back in her usual daytime attire, but the laces have been done in a way he knows she doesn’t like: the bow at the bottom is tied too small, causing its trailing laces to be too long that they would brush against her arms if she were to put them behind herself.
Then, Hei realizes he hasn’t been looking straight ahead while walking like a knight should. He fixes that.
Only the late afternoon sun illuminates the princess’s chambers. Hei opens the door and she enters. Her figure casts long shadows across the floor. He remains outside, but when he sees her struggle to unlatch the windows for air, he steps forward. “Stay,” Yin says, without turning around.
“You don’t have to handle the windows.”
She scoffs. “I’m capable.” As she wrestles it, the metal clasp in her hands imitates the sound of his armor in movement.
He’s behind her before he can stop himself. “I know you are,” he murmurs centimeters above her, unfastening the window in seconds. “But you might hurt yourself, Your Highness.”
Yin breathes a faint sigh as light winds bound into the room. They merrily tease her ribboned hair and the cotton of her dress. Yet, the silence is heavy. Hei breaks it, “My apologies if I overstepped. I’ll return to my post.”
“No.”
“No?”
She shuts the curtains temporarily, which sway as quiet as her voice. “I wish to be redressed. Just the laces.”
Chapter Text
The ballroom is alive with anything that will make tonight different from others. Music, food, and business stay off to the sides of the hall, because the center is filled with polite, proper, yet joyous dancing.
Hei knows that Yin has had to prepare for this consistently. She began taking lessons to dance even before they met, and by the time he was appointed as her knight he’d started spectating some of the most frustrating moments in the princess’s education.
All Hei has to do is keep an eye out.
“Do you know how fortunate you are to have to just stand there while I have to dance with men who think the prettier you are the better you can dance?” Around two summers ago, a tirade slipped out the moment he began helping her into her ballgown, a brilliant lavender dress with evening gloves as iridescent as her eyes when the sun hits them just right.
Actually, it began when he had requested her to stand properly upright so he could tighten those pesky laces the way he knew she would dislike them least. She continued spitting scorn as he wrestled the silk every which way with his fingers, a feat harder than maybe half of his training in knighthood.
He was almost done when she spun around and grabbed his cheeks in one hand, spot on with almost zero searching from her fingers, much to his surprise. “Are you even listening to me?”
“I have been, Your Highness,” he said, a little muffled from her grip.
“What did I say?”
“Contrary to popular belief, you, as our princess, face difficulties that nobody, not even I, can dream of.”
With a huff, she released his face. Shame for her behavior settled in her features quickly.
Hei continued before she could rectify, “And you’re absolutely correct, Your Highness. I am quite fortunate that all I have to do is stand at one end of the ballroom and watch you dance.”
“I shouldn’t be treating you like this,” she muttered and turned away.
Maybe she shouldn’t. It would be unbecoming of an heir who must treat her subjects justly once she takes the throne. But Hei knows that in growing up for this very purpose, she’s lost herself to the expectations placed upon her, some of which he can tell she’d rather run from.
There was a time when Yin wanted absolutely nothing to do with him; Hei had been the first and only knight assigned to her personally, and he witnessed nearly everything she’d said about him, whether meant to be heard or not. He was never sure if she had accepted or resigned herself to being in his company until either of their deaths.
As for himself, the more years pass, the closer he comes to thinking there is no version of Yin whom he wouldn’t serve.
On this summer night, when he stands at one end of the ballroom and watches her dance, he thinks of all the ways Yin has become his undoing. She’s privy to none.
“Still angry?”
Hei’s heart leaps to his throat when the nosy head mage murmurs only for him to hear. He reprimands himself for his lacking awareness which allowed November’s footsteps behind him to go unnoticed. “What’s it to you?”
“Such aloofness,” he exhales, sweetened cigarette smoke curling around them. “As if you weren’t the one who came into my office on his hands and knees!”
Hei glares at him head on. “Not for a moment would I crouch down to those dirty floors.”
“Crawling, not— My floors are not that dirty!”
“I couldn’t take more than two steps inside that day.”
“Only because you fear me.”
“Hei?”
He startles visibly this time and turns around. “Your Highness,” tumbles from his lips on reflex. While he clears his throat, November snickers behind him.
He’s just short of stamping the man’s foot when Yin’s painfully small voice reaches him again. “Can we leave?”
Behind her, the festivities have gone into full swing. Everyone is dancing and eating with everyone. In theory, no one would notice if…
November steps around Hei, his cloak swishing as he puts himself in between Yin and the rest of the ballroom. Hei’s hand takes hers and they’re off. The practiced escape goes smoothly with the knight leading ahead to the rear doors and the mage warding off any questioning looks they get.
From her grip alone, Hei can read her tension. His gauntlets have been off so her clipped nails threaten to dig into the back of his hand, but they don’t hurt. Twitches in her fingers prompt her to tighten her hold before she remembers how much force she’s putting, but then his own grasp tugs her closer. His comfort is never a cost for her to worry over.
The stables are not a long walk at all with his brisk steps. Yin should be angry at him for that too but tonight, himself included he thinks, has been testing her patience. When they reach the stables, he catches her frown out the corner of his eye. In mere seconds, he’s up on his horse, named Mao for playing with the castle cats, and guiding Yin onto the saddle.
Her arms wrap around his waist as they set off is a brief sanctuary that coaxes his posture to relax as much as he’ll allow it. His legs remain steady on either side of the horse, his hands firm on the reins.
November is nowhere to be found now. Only that wretched mage can evade his senses, he thinks while they leave the stables.
Behind him, Yin scoffs.
“Your Highness?” He asks, almost drowned out by Mao’s hooves on the ground.
“Are you taking pity on me tonight, Hei?” When the knight fails to respond, she continues, “Only now, after a dance, are you finally listening to my requests. I know where we’re going, it must be for a clear sky because we’re on horseback right now. Is it because I finally stopped asking you?”
“No,” he breathes, “No. I’m doing this because I want you to not remain troubled.”
“I’m not troubled.”
“You’ve been upset lately by your duties and restrictions.” By me.
“Not upset,” she mumbles.
Hei bites back a sigh. He tries again, “I wish for you to be at ease once again,” and hears no response.
They reach their destination, a cliff overlooking the northernmost shore of their nation. He dismounts, helping the princess down with him. There’s not a tree in sight to tie Mao to but Hei trusts him to not wander off too far.
Yin’s hand is no longer holding Hei’s in an iron grip, even after her heels have touched the ground, she doesn’t let go. As he leads her forward until they’re only a few paces away from the cliff’s edge, the sound of distant waves crashing over the blanket of rocks below meets their ears. The sky above them, a stretch of blackened silver over all directions, is speckled luxuriously with stars and a full moon.
“You worry too much,” she says.
He looks at the moon. “It’s only my duty.”
“No, Hei.” She looks at the sky. “I mean that I am always at ease with you.”
Notes:
i promise i love heiyin i just suck at finishing what i start