Belonging To Them

by sweetgalaxyalien

Summary:

"Feeling a little needy?" Jimin kissed her as she grabbed his shoulders for stability, breathing heavily as she watched him lower her pants. "Oh, honey, I'm feeling a little needy, too. I want to taste you, hear those pretty moans when you feel good, see you laying on my bed in nothing but your panties, but I'll just take those off, won't I? Push them to the side and see how pretty you are?"

Faeryn Petal works at HYBE and grabs the attention of BTS. When she doesn't have a place to stay, they take it upon themselves to take her home with them.

At their home, Faeryn becomes close with them in ways she never thought she would be, but she's afraid of what it means—of what it's meant to be close to someone, especially when the last and first man in her life hurt her and is still a threat to her safety.

She's struggling, but she's trying, and really, isn't that what living is?

Notes:

*WEEKLY UPDATES EVERY TUESDAY AT 2 PM EST*

If you enjoyed my book Bangtan's Baby, you'll enjoy this book! With that being said, please read the tags to see if you're okay with everything!

*NONE OF THE TAGS ABOVE REFLECTS ON BTS IN REALITY; THIS IS FICTION AND IF YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND THAT, GO TOUCH GRASS! I'M NOT SPECULATING BTS' SEXUALITY IN REALITY; THIS IS FICTION*

This book is for all my Autistics (you don't have to be Autistic to read!) who need representation and just want a place to feel safe and heard (and also read smut lol). A lot of Autistics can be hurt/bullied/abused without really realizing what's going on due to missing social cues, and I want this to feel like a big hug for anyone who relates to that because I see you; I know that it hurts, and we're in this together. I also want to iterate that not everyone experiences Autism/Depression/ADHD or any diagnosis in the exact same way. It can be similar, but not always the same.

IMPORTANT: You don't have to deal with mental health or be diagnosed with Autism to read this book; you'll enjoy it anyway! And it's always good to be knowledgeable about what others live with.

With that being said, enjoy!! <3

Chapter 1: Bumping Into You

 

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

                                                     

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I should’ve been ecstatic, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be.

I worked at HYBE Entertainment as one of the receptionists, and the paycheck was generous, but I couldn’t enjoy it when each one went to someone else, and every day brought more troubles than the last.

Pained, anxious, afraid—that’s what I was, and I was afraid that’s all I would ever be.

I glanced at my phone; 4:55 PM. Almost time to clock out.

Grabbing my bag, I ensured everything was in its place, my heart pounding as I tried my best to breathe.

It was Friday, the day that led to my agonizing weekends. I wanted to escape, but with a lack of cash and fully dependent on someone else, I had nowhere to go. It was pitiful, the way my lower lip trembled as I tried not to think about the horrors awaiting me.

“Fae!” Startled, I turned to see who had called my name. A wobbly smile formed on my lips when I saw the only friend I’d made since I started working here a few months ago.

Lyric Beasley stood in all pink wearing a ruffled skirt and blue blouse. Her green eyes were dancing, and her dark, bronze skin glimmered as the sunset from the windows shone through.

Beaming, she waved at me. “Five more minutes till the weekend!”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and forced a better smile onto my face. “Can’t wait,” I said, trying to sound genuine.

On her way to me, she grinned. “What are your plans?”

My smile wavered. “Not much.”

“Come out with me then,” she suggested. “We’ve never hung out on the weekends.” Rummaging around in her purse, she added, “I was planning on a little solo coffee and book shopping date, but it would be much more fun if you came with me.”

Plucking her lip gloss from her bag, she applied it to her lips as she looked at me expectantly. “Do you want to? We could hang out somewhere other than the break room for once.”

“I like hanging out with you in the break room,” I said somewhat quietly.

“I do, too,” she teased. “But it would be great to see you in the big, wide world as my friend and not just my co-worker.”

Smiling was harder with every second. “My boyfriend wants to take me out,” I revealed.

“Ooh, that’s nice.” She smacked her lips together, finalizing her lip gloss application. “When? Could we hang out after or before?”

My throat tightened. “I really wish I could, but he works all the time, and the weekend is the only time he has with me.” 4:58 PM. “I’m sorry.”

She stuck her lip gloss back into her back with a sorrowful sigh. “Don’t be sorry. We’ll just need to plan a weekend with just us.” She tilted her head. “What’s your boyfriend’s name? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.” She winced. “Sorry if you have. I can be spacey sometimes.”

“No, it’s okay,” I was quick to reassure her. “His name’s Ryker Haze.”

She snorted. “His full government name.”

I flushed. “You asked, so I thought—”

“I just needed a first name, but you know what?” She slung her purse back over her shoulder. “I’m sure if I ever meet Ryker Haze, I’ll feel like I know him already.” She showed me one of her award winning smiles. 4:59 PM. “Does Ryker Haze ever let you have a weekend to yourself? Let me know; I’ll clear my calendar.”

Lyric was so kind—much kinder than I deserved.

I tried not to cry, but it was 5:00 PM. I could no longer manage a smile. “I’ll ask him,” I told her, even though I already knew the answer.

“Great,” she chirped, leaning over the front desk to give me a quick hug. Squeezing me in one of her warm embraces, she patted my back fondly. “See you on Monday, Faeryn Petal.” She snickered to herself, winking when she pulled away. “Government names are fun.”

I managed a goodbye as I began closing my station. While I was, I heard slight commotion from near the elevators. Turning, I caught sight of a member from BTS; Jung Hoseok. He was walking with one of his staff members, his silvery laugh ringing through the air.

I loved hearing his laugh. Whenever he was around, his laugh was, too, and to hear it so close to the weekend was comforting. If he was happy now, maybe someday I would be happy, too.

He came into view, still talking amicably to the staff member; a man older than him with dyed blonde hair and a face mask, his eyes crinkled as he joked with Hoseok.

Passing the receptionist station where I was, the staff member turned to me, lifting his hand in greeting. I did the same, my wrist crying out from last weekend’s pain.

“Goodnight,” I offered, my voice barely reaching him. I had never been good at making friends; talking had always been difficult, but he heard me, calling the same thing back with an added, “Have a nice weekend.”

Small talk wasn’t as difficult, but it had an abrupt end after the weather had been discussed, but he was leaving, and so was I. That was the end—or so I thought.

Hoseok turned at the sound of my voice, his smile remaining when he caught sight of me. “Have a nice weekend,” he said cheerfully, lifting his hand in a friendly wave.

I was late to return the motion, his attention already back in front of him—as was the staff member’s.

Leaving ten minutes after them, I imagined how nice it would be to smile entering the weekend. I imagined it must be nice and freeing and wonderful. I hadn’t known any of those things for two years, more tired than I’d ever known before.

I imagined how happy Lyrics’, Hoseok’s, and the staff member’s weekend would be as I took the bus home.

Home was a small apartment downtown, perched above a busy cafe. Ryker’s lived with me, although my name was on the lease, and I paid for everything.

When I arrived, my earplugs trembled in my palm as I removed them from my ears, staring up blankly at my home.

I wished that my parents were still alive and we lived together in America like we used to, that I never had to come to Korea to live with my grandparents, who, although kind, had died of a shared illness two years ago.

I was very tired as I climbed the steps to the apartment, suffocating as soon as I opened the door. The smell of alcohol was strong, but the wicked curl of Ryker’s mouth was stronger.

A whimper left me—and my weekend began.

꧁꧂

 

“What happened to your wrist?” the staff member who had a better weekend than I did asked on Monday. His blonde hair fell over his eyes, but he brushed it out of his face as he squinted at the wrist brace I wore. “You didn’t have that on Friday, did you?”

Embarrassment and shame threatened to envelop me. “No,” I replied uncomfortably. “But it was hurting.” I paused before providing, “Nerve damage. It comes and goes.”

It was the truth, but it wouldn’t have been exasperated if the weekend hadn’t been so painful—if nerve damage hadn’t occurred when Ryker had broken my arm—

“You had a cast a few months back too, didn’t you?” He blew air through his lips, shaking his head. “Can’t catch a break, can you?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I simply typed in his name and offered a tilted smile as I said, “You’re signed in.”

He patted the desk. “Thanks. Take it easy today—” He paused. “What’s your name?”

“Faeryn,” I said, sitting up straighter, wondering if I’d done something wrong.

He smiled a bit. “I’m Jaehyun. I work with BTS.”

“Oh,” I breathed out, relieved. “Hi. I’m—I’m Faeryn. I’m the receptionist.”

He chuckled, looking at me strangely. “I know where you work.”

“Right,” I stammered, my cheeks flaming hot. “I—yeah. I know.”

He patted the desk again before walking toward the elevators. “Have a good Monday, Faeryn.”

“You too,” I called after him, wishing I could wither away.

The day was slow, slower with my left hand out of service. I tried not to think of the weekend, but Monday’s were always the hardest. I would get through it. Maybe things would get better. I wasn’t sure if I believed it, but I tried to.

During lunch break, Lyric fretted over me and told me to sit as she fetched me food. Alone at our table while she did, I looked around to ensure she wasn’t back before limping toward my manager’s office.

My manager, Chiksu, was sitting at his desk leafing through papers, his laptop opened in front of him while he worked. At the sound of his door opening, he looked up.

“Ah, Faeryn.” He motioned me forward, setting a few papers aside. “Come in.”

I walked in, standing with my arms twined in front of me. “I hope your Monday is good so far,” I offered.

He sighed. “I’d rather Monday’s didn’t exist, but then Tuesdays would be the new Monday, wouldn’t they?” He waved his hand around, dismissing his own words. “What can I do for you? Trouble at reception?”

“No, no,” I said hurriedly. “No trouble.”

“Good,” he mumbled, his attention glued to his work. “I love trouble-free Mondays.” Around twenty seconds passed of him mumbling to himself about work and priorities before he jolted, looking back up at me as if remembering I was there. “Shit, Faeryn. I’m sorry. It’s busy, and you’re sitting there so quiet—” He ran a hand through his hair. “I forgot you were there.”

“It’s okay.” I shuffled in my spot. “I was just wondering if I could ask you something.”

“Sure, yeah, go ahead. Quick,” he joked. “Before I forget you’re here again. Anyone ever tell you that you should get a bell to alert people you’re around?”

I tried not to wince. “Yes.”

He laughed. “Tell me what you need, Faeryn. I’ve got work to get back to.”

I took a deep breath. “I was wondering if there were any shifts I could pick up on the weekends, like night shifts? I know there are no reception positions at night, but I’m a good cleaner. I—I could pick up a janitor shift.”

“Need the money?”

“Yes.” I nodded, awaiting his response hopefully. “I’m saving up for something.”

“What are you saving up for?”

“A new apartment.”

“Nice, nice.” He rubbed his temples. “Let me see what I can do. Give me until next week, all right? I have a que to get through, and it’ll take a while.”

“Okay,” I breathed out, the hope I felt threatening to suffocate me. “Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, no problem.” He adjusted his glasses. “Close the door behind you.”

I did, limping each step back to the break room. On my way, turning a corner there, I let out a yelp of alarm when I slammed into something.

“Whoa—” Hands steadied me, keeping me stabilized. Catching their balance themselves, they let out a breath of confusion when we were both standing straight again. “I’m sorry about that. I never slow down when I’m turning here—that was my fault.”

“No, no,” I rushed out, slightly dazed. “It’s—it’s okay.”

My wrist was throbbing from the impact, but I tried to refocus to view who I’d bumped into. I was surprised when I met their dark eyes and tan skin, their black hair long and nearly sweeping across their eyes.

He wore a small, apologetic smile, his lips moving as he spoke. I tuned back in just in time to make out, “I’m sorry again—?”

“Faeryn,” I said, bowing low. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh! Oh no, seriously, it’s—no, please, don’t apologize.” He bowed to meet me, both of us resuming our height only to bow again. He breathed out a chuckle at our position, adding, “It really wasn’t your fault. I was going way too fast.”

“I’m sorry if I slowed you down on your way somewhere,” I apologized, still bowing.

“No, really,” he refuted my apology again. “I’m not in a rush; I have ten minutes left of lunch.”

I bowed deeper, but he only followed my lead, doing the same.

“I’ll get up when you do,” he said, his tone serious, but his chuckle light.

Not wanting him to miss his lunch, I rose, watching as he did the same. He was still smiling, it only faltering when he saw my wrist brace.

He reached for it before he stopped himself, his forehead creasing with worry. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I lied, waving my unwounded hand around in denial. “It’s okay.”

His worry didn’t leave, and not liking how it took his smile away, I blurted, “I have Ibuprofen in my purse. I’ll have some of that and it’ll take the pain away in thirty minutes.”

“Do you want me to grab it for you?” he asked, his tone genuine enough to confuse me. I’d learned that when people asked to do something for me, they were just being polite; they didn’t actually want for me to take them up on their offer, but he sounded so concerned and genuine—

Confused, I stammered, “No, that’s okay. I want to eat something before I take it.”

“Right,” he breathed out. “That’s probably best.” He gestured to my hand. “Will it be better soon?”

“Oh.” I blinked rapidly. “I’m—well, I’m not sure. It’s nerve pain, so it comes and goes.”

His brows knit together. “That must be horrible.”

I couldn’t tell if he was being honest or not, but he looked honest—and kind. I wanted his smile to come back; I felt as if I’d done something wrong to make it disappear.

“It’s not bad,” I reassured him, nodding along with my words. “It’s manageable, and you really didn’t make it worse, so it’s okay.”

His frown deepened. “Is there anything I can do? Do you…do you have water? Do you need any?”

“No,” I said, my eyes wide. “I’m—I’m fine, but thank you so much.”

“Taehyung!” someone called his name, his eyes grudgingly tearing from mine.

He gave me an apologetic look. “I think they need me for something, but—” He bowed again, lifting himself to keep eye contact with me as he added, “If you need anything, just tell someone in my staff, okay? They’ll get it for you.”

Incredulously, I thanked him, bowing along with him. It seemed it was out of instinct that he reached for my hand—perhaps as something he viewed he’d hurt and had to fix—but again, he pulled away before he could make contact.

Wondering if it would make him smile again if he confirmed that I was okay, I offered my hand, holding it out slightly. He looked at me questioningly, and when I offered a slight nod, he gently took my hand, cradling it in his own.

“Where does it hurt?” he asked as he looked at it.

“Everywhere,” I admitted.

He sighed, a soft sound. “But Ibuprofen helps?”

“Yeah, promise,” I assured.

“How did it happen?”

“I fell,” I lied.

“And that caused nerve problems?” he wondered dubiously.

“It made them act up,” I explained. “I broke my arm, and that can cause nerve damage, and so when I fell, it made them act up.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, tracing the stitches of the brace. “I hope you feel better soon.” Carefully returning my hand to my side, he entreated me, “Please take your Ibuprofen.”

“I will,” I promised, my hand warm from his touch. “Right after lunch.”

“Good.” He smiled a small smile, and although it was worried, it was a smile, and I was relieved it was back; glad I could see it again before he left.

His name was called again, but before he left, he bowed again, saying, “Remember to let my staff know if you need anything; just tell them that I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you,” I said, bewildered at his kindness.

“I’m sorry again,” he said, his eyes conveying his apology. “I really hope you feel better.”

He was gone before someone could call for him again, and I watched after him until he was out of sight, my hand tingling in his wake.

“Where’d you go?” Lyric asked when I returned to our table. “I went to get you food so you wouldn’t have to get up.”

My head spun with my interaction with Taehyung, someone I’d heard and seen so much of but never had a conversation with until now, and I took a seat.

“Extra hours,” I heard myself say. “I asked for more hours.”

She exclaimed, “But your wrist!”

“It’ll be fine,” I replied, hoping it would be. “That’s what the brace is for.”

She sighed. “The brace is to help stabilize it, but you need to keep it as immobilized as possible.”

“I will,” I agreed. “I’ll use my right hand.”

She gave me a look before pushing a protein shake toward me. “Eat.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “What did you get?”

“A sandwich,” she revealed. “With a generous amount of tomatoes.”

I made a face. “Gross.”

She poked my side. “No, you.”

I smiled a bit, taking a sip from the protein shake. I thought of Taehyung all throughout lunch and when I took the Ibuprofen back at the reception desk.

Mondays were the remains of the weekend’s cruelty, but there was a piece of kindness on that Monday within Taehyung’s deep bows and kind words.

꧁꧂

 

I waited until Thursday to hear back from Chiksu. He was able to get me ten extra hours starting from Friday night to Sunday night.

Ryker was pleased I would be making extra money, but I didn’t tell him the exact amount, hoping that would allow me to keep some for myself. I would ask for more hours again next week and do the same thing, hoping it would help me get closer to a life away from him.

I’d seen Taehyung a few times since we bumped into each other, but I was always busy assisting someone, unable to talk with him. He would smile and wave, making a drinking motion to refer to Ibuprofen, and ironically, it would remind to take my regular dose to keep my wrist’s inflammation down.

When Friday came, I was exhausted but relieved I could stay at work for a couple more hours, effectively cutting down my weekend time with Ryker.

It must’ve be around 6 PM when Taehyung walked by the area I was sweeping, humming to himself on his way to the vending machine. In his own little world, he didn’t notice me at first, but I was so eager to finally have a chance to thank him again for his kindness, that I braved the anxiety of social interaction to call out a timid, “Hi.”

He jolted slightly, surprised, and his wide eyes were on mine in seconds. Realization flooded through his face at the sight of me, and then—there it was; his smile.

“Faeryn,” he said like he was happy to see me. It was enough to make me smile timidly in return. “Hey! What are you doing here? Aren’t you at reception?”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a quick nod. “But I picked up a few extra hours, and my manager let me take the janitor’s shift.”

His eyes darted to my wrist brace. “Are you okay to do that? You’re not using your hand too much, right?”

“It’s okay,” I assured him, holding it out to prove my point. I bent it toward me slightly, showcasing the small movement. “See?”

His next smile came easy to him, and he beamed. “That’s great.”

Eager to keep the conversation going, I looked around for a topic before blurting, “The vending machine.”

He nodded, glancing back at it before returning his attention to me. “I was going to grab a snack.” He chuckled a bit. “Another late night practice.”

“What’s your favorite snack?” I asked.

“Maybe…licorice!” He sighed happily. “So good.” He tilted his head. “Do you like licorice?”

I smiled apologetically. “No. It’s…the texture is weird for me.”

He thought about this. “It is kinda weird, isn’t it?”

My smile turned more genuine quickly. “Yeah! It’s rubbery, like a tire.”

“Wow.” His tongue clicked the roof of his mouth. “My favorite snack is a tire.”

I giggled, and his eyes lit up at the sound.

Jutting his thumb toward the vending machine, he wondered, “Do you want anything? It doesn’t have to be rubber.”

“Oh.” My eyes widened. “Oh, no, that’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he offered. “Really. If you’re working overtime, a snack could go a long way.”

Unsure, I shifted closer to the broom than to him. “That’s okay.”

“So I can get you something?” he asked hopefully.

“I meant that you didn’t have to,” I explained, trailing off when his features dropped. His smile was gone, again, and I felt incredibly responsible. “If you—I mean—if you want to, you can, but please don’t feel like you have to. I’m okay without anything.”

His features were back to shining, and pulling his card out of his pocket, he gave me a warm smile. “And now you’ll be okay with something to snack on.” He motioned me over. “Come on. Maybe you can pick out something new for me to try, too.”

Tightening my grip on the broom, I joined him giddily.

“All right.” His hands in his pockets, we surveyed the snack options together. “Anything look good?”

“I don’t know.” I gnawed on my bottom lip. “I’ve never…tried any of this.”

“Really?” He looked at me, surprised. “How long have you worked here?”

“A few months,” I revealed, embarrassed. “I don’t come up to this floor though.”

“You should.” His voice sounded sincere enough. “This machine has all the best snacks; the rest aren’t as good.” As he went back to checking the options, he added, “I’m also on this floor a lot. It’s where the rehearsal room is.”

I perked up. “I’ll…maybe I’ll be up here more often to clean and…get snacks, then.”

“You should,” he agreed amicably. Stroking his jaw absently as he surveys the machine, he decides, “Cookies.” He glanced at me, uncrossing his arms. “What do you think?”

When I confirmed, he bought me three packets; two for me, one for him. Denying my efforts to give him the second packet, he insisted, “You’ll be here longer than me; you’ll need it.”

I thanked him profusely, shoving the packets into my pocket for later. Wanting him to stay, I wondered, “How long will you be here?”

“Probably another hour.” He sighed. “We’re working on a dance for a comeback.”

“That’s exciting!”

“Yeah.” He rubbed the side of his face, showing another smile. “And tiring.”

“It must be a lot of work,” I sympathized. “You’ll just have to rest as hard as you work.”

He grinned. “Right.” Cocking his head, he asked, “Is that what you do on your days off? Rest hard?”

I forced a neutral response. “Yeah.”

“I should do the same.” He opened his packet of cookies. “There’s just so much I want to do when I’m not working, so I end up tiring myself out even more on days off.” He took a bite, uttering a low groan. “You’re going to love these, Faeryn. They’re so good.”

“Oh.” I grinned giddily. “Okay.”

“Let me know what you think on Monday,” he said cheerily.

“I’ll be here tomorrow,” I let him know off-handedly.

“Oh, really? Me too.” I loved his smile, I realized. “I’ll try to come up here to find out what you think about the best cookies ever made.”

I started to feel excitement, such a foreign feeling that it showed itself in nervous shuffles and a strained smile. “Okay,” I managed, my voice higher than usual.

With another bite of his cookie, he took a step back. “Tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Tomorrow.”

With a smile and a wave, he left me to sweeping, and with a tight grip on the broom, the cookies in my pocket kept me company for the rest of my shift.

꧁꧂

 

Taehyung was ecstatic with my reaction to the cookies the next day, insisting that he buy me more since I liked them so much. I had liked them, a lot, and I was unable to stop him or my excited smile when he bought me five more packs.

He said he had a fifteen minutes break, and he spent each minute with me, talking as I swept the halls.

Talking about dance practice and more of his favorite foods, I realized we had a few things in common, and conversation became easier when he revealed one of his hobbies—collecting different assortments of tea.

I was all over that, my eyes sparkling with fascinated delight.

“I collect tea cups!” I blurted eagerly. “I mean, I used to, but I had so many. My favorites were the ones with flower designs.” Determinedly, I added, “When I save up, I’m going to start collecting them again.”

“That sounds great,” he encouraged. “Why’d you stop?”

“Oh.” I shifted my gaze to his forehead. “I…I had to move a few years back to come here, and they shattered in the moving truck.”

His lips pulled downward. “That’s awful.”

It was half the truth. Half of the tea cups had survived, and Ryker had broken the others. Diverting the topic, I said, “It won’t be awful when I get more, and I’ll get so many. Lots of flowers ones.”

His eyes crinkled with a smile. “Lots.”

“Lots.” I nodded rapidly. “And plates to go with them, too. I also get teas that match the color of the tea cups, so raspberry lemon for tea cups with red flowers, and blueberry tea for blue flower cups.”

“Wow.” He lifted a brow, impressed. “You’ve got a whole system going on.”

“Yeah!” I exclaimed. “And I had pastries that matched them, too, like lemon tarts with chamomile tea and yellow flower cups. I love yellow,” I gush. “It’s the prettiest color.”

“Yellow is a nice color.” He was smiling a lot more than he usually did, and my chest tugged with appreciation. “I like dark red.”

“I like it, too.” Excitedly, I wondered, “Do you like tea cups?”

“I don’t collect them,” he returned. “But you make it sound like fun.”

“It is! It’s so much fun, and they look so nice when they’re on display, and it’s even better when I get to use them.”

He hid a smile into a bite of his cookie. “What else do you like?”

Encouraged, I swept faster. “I like potatoes a lot—pasta, too! They’re my favorite foods, and I have them all the time.”

“You don’t get tired of them?”

“Every couple of months.” I laughed a bit, shrugging. “But I’ll find another food I like, and then I’ll like potatoes and pasta again.”

“Huh.” He rested his hand in his palm as he watched me work. “That probably makes grocery shopping much easier.”

“Yup!” I patted my pockets where the cookies were. “And now I’ll buy these, too.”

He grinned. “A great choice.”

“The best choice,” I responded with a giggle, the sound surprising me.

He beamed at the sound. “I’ll find more foods you like.”

“Okay,” I squeaked.

“What else do you like? Do you have any hobbies?”

“I like to crochet,” I said somewhat shyly.

“Do you?” He looked pleasantly surprised. “One of my staff members knows how, and she let me try once, but it’s way too hard for me.”

“It’s not that hard,” I encouraged. “Once you get the hang of it.”

“Easy for you to say,” he teased. “You have the hang of it.”

I giggled. “You could learn.”

“Maybe,” he joked. “But I’m sure you’d still be better at it.” Looking thoughtful, he wondered, “What do you crochet?”

I turned a bright red. “Oh. Just…I make stuffed animals.”

“Cute!” he exclaimed. “Do you have younger siblings you give them to?”

My blush deepened. “No, I…I’m an only child. I just—I make them for me. To keep them.”

“So you make stuffed animals and collect them, too?” He took note of my pink cheeks. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” I managed.

He squinted, suddenly looking worried. “Did I embarrass you? It’s really cool that you keep them—I didn’t mean to make it sound otherwise.”

Relief swept over me. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course,” he confirmed immediately. “If I could crochet, I’d crochet every Pokémon and keep them all.”

Refreshed and put more at ease by his blatant sincerity, I started to relax. “I could teach you,” I offered, hoping to take the attention off of my blush.

“For real?”

I nodded quickly. “It’ll be fun, promise.”

“Well, if you promise,” he teased. Standing from the wall he was leaning on, he wondered, “Do you have free-time during the day?”

Back to being excited, I revealed, “I have a thirty minute break for lunch.”

His forehead creased. “I don’t want to take up your lunch time.”

“You won’t,” I refuted. “I don’t really eat much at lunch; I’m not usually hungry at that time, so I drink a protein shake.” I wiggled my fingers. “It doesn’t get my fingers dirty, so I can teach you.”

“Smart.” He grinned. “Okay.” He began to walk with me as I swept. “I’ll take you up on that offer. A change of scenery is nice, too.”

“I’ll teach you how to make a chain first,” I thought out loud. “Single crochets are super easy.”

“You’re speaking another language, I hope you realize that.” His shoulder gently nudged mine as we walked. “I’m not fluent in crochet.”

My shoulder warm from his touch, I couldn’t help the smile that broke onto my face. “You will be. Promise.”

It was comical and endearing how interested he was in learning, and although I expected him to back out and say he had other plans during Monday’s break time, he showed up right on time, all smiles and dimpled cheeks.

Teaching him was easy. Being with him was even easier. Still awkward, my tongue sometimes refused to work with my mouth, but he didn’t comment on it or make me feel stupid. Not like others did in the past.

He just listened, nodding slowly as he waited for me to finish my train of thought, even when I messed it up a few times, either from excitement, a brain lull, or racing thoughts of dealing with Ryker later; he would listen and wait patiently.

Lyric joined us soon after we’d started, her features twisting in shock at the sight of him. “Uh…” She took a seat beside me, unable to tear her eyes from his struggle with my crochet hook. “Is he lost?”

Taehyung scrunched his nose, his attention remaining on the needles and yarn quite studiously. “I’m not lost,” he said after greeting her. “I think I’m getting the hang of it.”

“Right,” she spoke slowly, her eyes wide when they met mine. “I meant, are you in the wrong break room? This is for employees.”

“I’m an employee.” His tongue poked the inside of his cheek. “Of sorts.” He paused, his eyes flitting to hers. “Why? Am I interrupting?”

“No, not at all,” she brushed his worry away. “I was just surprised, is all. I usually have Fae all to myself for lunch if you can count her protein shake as lunch.”

“It has lots of nutrients,” I countered.

“Lots,” Taehyung echoed, his lips tugging upward. “Oh!” He lifted the yarn slightly, his exclamation loud enough to garner more attention than he’s already holding. “I think I made a chain.”

“You chained one,” I told him, my voice laced with encouragement. “If you do a few more, you’ll have an entire chain. That’s really good!”

Unable to stop smiling, he shifted in his seat, proud of himself as he set back to work on it.

Lyric gaped at him. “Is he seriously going to figure this out before I do?” Her voice dipping into a mutter, she added, “Crocheting is too hard.”

“It’s easy once you get the hang of it,” Taehyung responded cheekily, sharing a knowing grin with me.

I giggled, turning my excited face to Lyric. “I can try to teach you again.”

“I’m a lost cause.” She heaved out a sigh. “I’m better off partying somewhere than being an old granny crocheting at home.” She patted my shoulder. “No offense. You’re the cutest, sweetest old granny in the world.”

“Thanks.” I laughed a bit, embarrassed.

Although Taehyung didn’t lift his face from his work, his brows furrowed as he prompted Lyric, “Why does crocheting make her a granny?”

“You know.” Lyric guzzled her soda. “Staying home with cats and knitting—well, in this case crocheting. You know; the joke.”

At that, Taehyung finally tore his eyes from the yarn to her. “It wasn’t a very good one.”

She blinked. “Fae doesn’t mind jokes like that.” When I didn’t respond, she pressed incredulously, “Do you?”

I focused on my protein shake, my fingers tightening around it. “Is it because I’m not going out with you on the weekends?”

“What?” She looked horrified. “Fae, I was just joking. You’re the cutest person I’ve ever met; if you want to crochet and drink protein shakes during lunch, I see you as a coquette little granny, but that’s a term of endearment, not a jab at you.”

She took a hold of both of my shoulders, turning me to face her. Peering into my face, she said firmly, “I would never insult you like that; you’re my friend.”

I exhaled my confusion and relief, nodding quickly. “Sorry, Lyr. I thought—sorry. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when someone’s joking.”

She squeezed my shoulder, waving off my apology. “I won’t make jokes like that anymore. I’ll step up my joke game, yeah?”

“Your joke game is good,” I refuted, intensely embarrassed. “I just need to get better at understanding them.”

She pinched my cheek with a sigh. “Don’t worry about it. Leave me to worry about making better jokes.”

With a deep flush to my cheeks, I nodded and turned to check on Taehyung’s chain progress. Much to my surprise, he had stopped, his focus on Lyric and I.

He lifted a brow when he saw he held my attention, and his eyes flitted back to Lyric before returning to me. Before I could fathom a response, he held his work out to me.

I looked down at it, my awkwardness traded for surprise. “This is really good!”

When I caught his eye again, he wore a small smile. “Closer to an army of Pokémon, aren’t I?”

Lyric pointed at him, waving her finger slightly. “That’s the spirit.”

He considered her for a moment before granting her a smile, whatever he’d noted from her features enough to appease him.

The three of us talked, the conversation light and playful, and when lunch was over, Lyric gave me a hug, promising to catch up with me before our shifts ended.

After she’d left our table, Taehyung walked me back to reception. “How long have you known Lyric?”

“A few months,” I revealed. “She’s…” Taking a deep breath, ashamed to reveal, “She’s the only person who’s really wanted to be my friend.”

“That’s not true.”

I peered up at him, confused. “What?”

“I want to be your friend.” He slowed when we reached my desk. Tilting his head, his lips followed the motions, drawing into a kind smile that made me feel even kinder things. “And I’m sure if people got to know you, they’d want to be friends with you, too, and if not—” He shrugged. “Their loss.”

My mind whirled, my breath stammering at his words. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he returned. “I’m going to be a crocheting professional soon enough because of you.”

I had smiled so many times that day because of him and Lyric that I felt strange, but it was a good strange. One that I wished I could feel forever, but would be stolen away by Ryker in the end.

Feeling it slip through my fingers, only hours left before I would see Ryker, I clawed at it, struggling to keep it to me, and hoping for some kind of solace, I blurted, “Can we crochet again tomorrow? At lunch?”

“You want to?”

“Yeah,” I rushed out. “It’ll be fun.” I hesitated, backtracking. “Today was fun?”

“So fun,” he confirmed, nudging me as he’d done that weekend, and I leaned into it, breathing a little easier.

“Okay,” I said hopefully. “Tomorrow, then?”

“Let me check my schedule, okay? I had to rearrange a few things today for lunch, so let me see if my dance instructor is okay with it.”

“You don’t—oh, you—you don’t have to do that,” I said with wide eyes. “I didn’t mean to mess up your schedule.”

“You didn’t mess it up,” he assured. “Changing my break to sync with yours is fun.”

I couldn’t truly believe him, unsure how being with me could be fun, but I didn’t want to upset him by denying his words, so I forced myself to nod.

“I’ll let you know,” he promised. Slipping his hand into his pocket, he prompted, “What’s your number?”

“Oh, I—I can’t.”

He paused. “You don’t have a phone?”

“No, I do, but I’m not—” Allowed. “It’s broken right now,” I lied.

“Well, that’s okay,” he said. “I’ll come back down here before you leave. My dance instructor will have an answer for me by then. Is that okay?”

Is that okay?

I melted, nodding until I couldn’t stop. “Yes, I—yes. I’ll wait.”

“I won’t make you wait,” he promised. “I’ll get down here before you clock out.”

We smiled at each other, and it felt so wonderful to smile. First with Lyric, then with Taehyung—smiling was wonderful. I wished I had never forgotten how to enjoy it without being afraid of when Ryker would revoke it.

True to his word, Taehyung returned before I clocked out. He was able to join me for lunch tomorrow, and his excitement was palpable enough for me to believe it was true.

Ryker was awake when I returned home, his eyes dark and a curl to his lips when I walked in. Closing the door behind me, I forced myself to meet his eye, knowing the repercussions that followed if I didn’t.

“You’re late,” he drawled, his legs spread on the couch as he regarded me lazily but with a hateful promise in his eyes that I’d come to know all too well.

I wasn’t late, but I didn’t contradict him. I knew better than that.

Slowly, I put my purse down, apologizing for being late.

“Apologies don’t fix the problem, now do they?” was his response.

“No,” I whispered rigidly, stiffening when he stood.

Closing the distance between us, his fingers latched around my throat, tilting my head back. His breath hot and suffocating on my face, he sneered, “What fixes the problem?”

“Me,” I choked out, my eyes filling whether I wanted them to or not. “I fix it.”

“And how will you fix it?” He bit my cheek enough for it to hurt. Dragging his teeth along my face, he prompted, “Tell me how you’ll fix it.”

“Have to be hurt,” I heard myself say, low and quiet. Scared. “If I’m hurt enough, then I’ll be good.”

“That’s right.” He patted my cheek roughly, nearly a slap. “What would you do without me, Fae? Hm? All alone with no apartment, no money, and no one to teach you how to be good.”

I hoped that someday, I would be able to find out just who I would be without him, and while he yanked me toward the couch, I hoped I would be someone happy in his absence.

Chapter 2: Take Me Home

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Two weeks passed, and I convinced Chiksu to let me work more overtime. My money was accumulating, I was talking with Lyric and Taehyung every day at lunch, and there was a hope I held that I didn't have before—hope that I could survive Ryker and make it on my own.

Since my grandparents, Haneul and Yejun, died two years ago, Ryker convinced me to live with him. I hadn't known him for a few months when we'd met at a bakery. He'd seen me, asked for my number, texted me a lot, and told me he loved me after a few days.

It was strange, all of it was, but the fact that someone could romantically love me might've been stranger. I didn't have anywhere else to go or any money saved up, so I went to live with him. Through pure luck, I landed the job at HYBE, but that's when things began to change.

He'd already been doing questionable things, snide little remarks that he swore were only jokes, touching me when I told him not to, laughing and yelling when I'd tell him I was overstimulated, teasing me that he wanted to see just how overstimulated I could get, but when he saw my first paycheck from HYBE, he didn't pretend anymore.

His facade dropped, and now that he had me completely dependent on him, he didn't have to pretend to be kind to keep me.

My money went to him, every cent, and he would spend it on alcohol, bling, new clothes—anything he wanted, and he would use it to pay rent. At first, I felt as if I owed him that much because he had taken me in when my grandparents died, but after a few paychecks and cruel treatment, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't heed the consequences of telling him to stop taking my money.

He'd gotten in my face, his eyes dark and menacing as he cornered me into the wall. Flicking my ear, he'd said, "Tell me what to do again, and let's see what happens." When my only response was a whimper, his voice had sunk low, and his warning filled the minuscule space between us. "If you don't give me your paychecks, I have no use for you, and I'll kick you out. Where will you go then, Faeryn? The streets?"

He'd caressed my cheek. "There's much worse that could be done to you on the streets. Do you want to take that chance?"

"No," I'd whispered, trembling before him.

He'd punished me that night, making sure I remembered never to defy him again.

But now, with my cash building up, I would get away from him—I would be free.

Everything was fine—I thought everything would be fine—but when I returned from work on Monday after my night shift, most of which was spent talking excitedly with Taehyung about our shared interests, Ryker greeted me with a bag.

It met my face first, the impact sending me back, and I struggled to catch my balance against the walls.

I didn't have to ask—he had the cash I'd stored in my sock drawer in his hand, his irises swirling with rage.

Desperate, I lied, "It was for a surprise—I wanted to get you a gift, and—"

He slapped me across the face, baring his teeth and hissing through them, "You're a fucking liar, Faeryn. Do you think I allow liars to live with me?"

"Please," I begged, grabbing his forearm as he turned to walk away. He shoved me away from him, grabbing my shoulders and pinning me to the wall. "I don't—Ryker, please. I don't have anywhere else to go."

"I warned you," he seethed. "I told you what would happen if you defied me again."

"I won't do it again," I sobbed. "Please, I—I don't want to live on the streets."

"You should've thought about that sooner." Lifting the bag he'd thrown at me, he pushed it into my arms. When I didn't move, begging and pleading for mercy, he sent me sprawling near the front door.

"Go," he commanded through clenched teeth. "Maybe some time on the streets will teach you how to obey."

"I'll obey," I said through sharp inhales and stammered breaths. "I will, Ryker, I'm good, I promise."

He laughed, the sound cruel and hurting every part of me. Walking to me, he crouched down until we were face-to-face. "You," he said, "are anything but good."

He opened his front door and shoved me outside. "Let's see how a couple of days on the streets treat you." Grasping my face harshly, he spit on it, his lips curling when my tears quickened. "Come back next Thursday. See if I'll give you mercy then."

I cried so hard I hyperventilated, but when he threatened to call the police if I didn't leave his property, I ran like a dog with its tail between its legs, trying to stop crying to not draw attention.

The cafe was still open, and I took a seat in the far back, struggling to hide every broken sob into my bag, pressing my face deeply into it.

With no cash, no phone, and nowhere to go, I tried to calm myself down—tried to talk myself through spending a few nights on the streets—but it was too much. Terrified, I remained in my huddled position in the cafe until I had no choice but to leave.

The night was scary, dark and lonely, and I didn't stay in one place for long. I kept moving, walking through parks and busier streets, trying to stay where more people were.

My legs were tired, my feet and calves cramping by the time the sun came up, but I was too scared to feel the full extent of my exhaustion. My eyes red-rimmed and swollen with tears, I limped my way to HYBE.

Taehyung couldn't make it to lunch—his dance instructor needed him for a group practice, and he wasn't allowed to come tell me, but he had one of his staff tell me. It was the older staff member with dyed blonde hair, and he carried three packets of cookies from the vending machine.

"Here," he said after he'd relayed Taehyung's message. "He told me to get these for you." Holding the cookies out to me, he paused. "Are you...good?"

I stared at him blankly, my features drawn and tired. I assumed I said yes, because in the next moment, he released the cookies to me and left, leaving me alone once more.

Lyric was on vacation, and without anyone to talk to, my throat tightened and threatened to suffocate me. I was near hyperventilation status every other minute, and the panic felt like a slow poison, each hour only bringing more as night neared once more.

Exhaustion had caught up to me, and I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to stay awake. There had been a secluded area in one of the parks I'd walked through. Maybe I could sleep in one of the tunnel slides where no one could see me.

Five PM came, and more fear came with it. There was nothing I could do, no one I could turn to but myself, and clutching my bag, a breath shuddered out of me as I faced the doors.

Maybe I could ask for overtime today, see if I could stay in HYBE for a while longer, but I wasn't sure I could stay awake.

"Hey!" I turned at the greeting, blinking blearily at the figure approaching me. When my vision settled, I was able to make out Taehyung, and the comfort he brought swept over me so hard I stumbled with it, my lips quivering as I took him in.

"Whoa." He laughed a bit, reaching out to steady me. "You okay?"

I couldn't respond—I didn't want to go outside. I didn't want to leave, and everything in me moved closer to him, knowing it was stupid but not caring, but a part of me broke as I let my forehead meet his chest.

"Faeryn?" He sounded confused, but even so, his hands were warming my back, up and down. So kindly, so gently. It was intense after a long night without any comfort, and I breathed tremulously. "Is everything okay?"

It wasn't, but I didn't know how to communicate the extent of it, so I remained silent, a pathetic whimper leaving me in the place of words.

At the sound, something in him shifted, and his hands left my back for my shoulders, pulling me closer until his arms wrapped around me. His embrace was as warm and kind as him, and I melted into it, closing my eyes as he held me.

My bag dropped as I drifted closer to sleep than reality, and the sound startled me, causing me to jolt in his arms.

"It's okay," he consoled, his arms tightening around me. "It's just your bag." When I didn't respond, simply floating closer and closer to sleep, he rubbed reassurance into my back, his next question careful. "What's going on?"

"Tired," I whispered, nosing into his shirt. It smelled like him—it smelled of pure comfort.

"Tired? That's okay." I felt him nodding. "Do you want me to take you home?"

I tensed, pure instinct sending my hands up and to his shirt, clinging to him. "I can't," I lisped. "Not safe."

His body went rigid against mine. "Why isn't it safe?"

"Can't tell you." Each passing second made my tongue feel like lead, too tired to work with my mouth, and words began to feel scarce, just out of my reach and yet so far away. "Want...want to stay here tonight."

"At HYBE? Faeryn, you can't stay here."

My tears appeared. "No?"

He patted my back. "They'll close up after the last shift, but hey. Why don't you tell me what's going on at your home?"

I shook my head. "Can't."

He was quiet. "Okay," he said after a moment. "Is there anywhere else you can stay tonight?"

"Lyric's gone," I mumbled, my eyes fluttering as I tried to stay awake. "Vacation."

"No one else?"

"Don't have anyone else."

He held me tighter. "Okay. You—okay." His chest rose and fell beneath my cheek. "Do you have your wallet with you?"

"Just me."

"Just you," he breathed out tersely. "Okay. We'll...okay." He exhaled shortly. "We'll figure something out."

"We will?" The hope in my voice was too loud, but I couldn't tone it down. "I don't have to stay outside again?"

"Again?" He leaned back, peering into my face with concern and incredulity. "You slept outside last night?"

"No." I couldn't feel my tongue anymore, and my surroundings were beginning to spin. "Just walked around until I could come here."

His lips parted before they closed, his jaw clicking as he studied my features. Within the minute, he grabbed my bag and my arm, keeping me steady as he led me toward the exit.

I dug my shoes in the ground, my fear returning rapidly. "Not outside," I pleaded.

"You're not staying outside tonight," he said firmly, leaning down to create level eye contact with me. "I'm taking you to my house."

I paused, not able to fully process his words. "You are?"

"I am," he confirmed. "And we'll figure it all out once you've slept, okay? But no more staying outside."

"No more," I agreed, relieved. "Thank you."

He shook his head, lifting himself back up, and his voice was gentle as he murmured, "Come on."

He had a nice car, a black mustang, and the seats were comfortable as I sank into one.

Putting the keys in ignition, he glanced at me before shifting gears and reversing out of his parking space.

"We'll figure it out," he said, the finality of his voice filling the car.

I chose to believe him, if not just for the sake of rest, and my cheek fell against the seat belt strap as I fell asleep.

꧁꧂

I woke up to Taehyung's gentle shaking, tired murmuring leaving me when I saw his worried face peering into mine.

His house was large, the biggest one I'd ever seen, but I couldn't fully enjoy it when my eyes wouldn't remain open.

"Come on," he entreated. "We can go inside."

I let him lead me inside, stumbling every other step, but his firm grip on me kept me from falling.

"Here we are," he said upon entering his home. Closing the door behind us, he gestured to the stairs. "We have a guestroom, so we'll set you up in there, okay?"

I nodded sleepily, clinging to his forearm as he helped me upstairs.

The guestroom was crowded with boxes and random furniture, but it was clean, and it had a roof. Relieved, I looked up at Taehyung to wordlessly convey my gratitude, my words still out of service.

He seemed to understand, patting my hand lightly. "Do you have clothes in your bag? If not, I could look and see what I have. Maybe a shirt or something?" He nodded more to himself than to me, stroking his face absently. "Yeah, a long shirt could work."

He guided me to the bed. "I'll get you a long shirt, okay? I'm not sure any of my pants would fit you, but if it would make you feel comfortable, I could try to find some."

I blinked at him.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay. Give me a second, let me see what I can find." He started to turn before he paused, putting his hands up. "Don't go anywhere."

Once he left the room, I sat on the bed, my body lulling until my head touched the pillows and brought sleep once more.

Light shone through the curtains when I woke up next, and blinking rapidly, I looked around me, confusion and alarm seeping through me quickly. It took me a moment, but I remembered where I was; Taehyung's house.

I was beneath the blankets, and on top of them at the edge of the bed was a folded shirt and sweatpants.

There was no clock to check the time, and hoping I wouldn't be late to work, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and left the bed, each step across the hard-wood floor languid and wobbly.

Opening the door, I peaked out into the hall, muffled talking from downstairs greeting my ears. Wiping my eyes and hoping I look presentable enough, I start the journey downstairs. When I come into view of the kitchen, the voices are revealed as familiar faces; Namjoon and Jin.

They were drinking coffee and having eggs and rice, but when they saw me, they came to an abrupt halt.

Shifting uncomfortably, I offered a wave. They didn't wave back.

"Who are you?" Namjoon asked rigidly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing left me. My fingers ghosted my throat, the bruising prominent, and I took a step back.

"Hey." I turned, relief flooding through me when Taehyung appeared at the foot of the stairs. "I just went to wake you up, but I couldn't find you." He offered half-smile, still sporting the same worried forehead crease as yesterday. "How'd you sleep?"

Namjoon cut in before I could fathom a response, "Who is she?"

Taehyung reached my side, sending me a reassuring look before turning his attention to Namjoon. "She's my friend Faeryn. The one I've been spending all my time with at HYBE."

Namjoon relaxed slightly, releasing a short breath. "I see."

Taehyung winced. "Sorry, I thought I texted you that."

"I have my phone on silent."

Jin tilted his head as he analyzed me, his gaze scrutinizing and sharp. "What is she doing here?"

Taehyung sent him a warning look. "She needed a place to stay."

I took multiple steps back.

Taehyung caught the movement, reading whatever my expression told and quickly reassuring, "Hey, no, it's okay. Do you want some breakfast? They're just—" He chuckled, the sound strained. "They're confused, but I'll explain and everything will be fine." He held his hand out to me. "Breakfast?"

He squinted. "Hey, is your...hey." He cocked his head to the side. "What happened to your face?"

I winced when my fingers brushed my cheek, stinging from where Ryker had slapped me. The bruise seemed to bloom overnight, and ashamed, I gnawed on my lip for comfort.

Taehyung looked pained. "Breakfast?" he asked again.

I nodded, and this time, I took the hand he offered.

I managed a few bites of rice while I listened to Taehyung explain what little I'd told him to Namjoon, stealing glances at me to ensure I was eating every so often.

Namjoon dragged his palm over his face. "Okay," he said after a moment. "When is her friend back from vacation?"

Taehyung looked to me for confirmation, but I couldn't tell him. I bit my tongue, punishing it for failing me.

"Well," Taehyung said quickly before Namjoon could speak. "We'll check with Lyric's manager on that, but why is that important?"

"She could stay with Lyric," Namjoon responded.

"Well, maybe," Taehyung said dubiously. "But until then, she can stay here." When Namjoon didn't respond, Taehyung pressed incredulously, "Right?"

Namjoon ran a hand through his hair. "Taehyung, for a lack of a better way to say this, you've known this girl for three weeks."

"I trust her," Taehyung returned indignantly. "She's my friend."

"Okay," Namjoon responded slowly. "But no offense to her or you, we don't."

"You don't have to," Taehyung shot back. "But she's staying here. She can't just walk the streets at night because she has nowhere else to go. We don't use the guest room, anyway. Not a big deal!"

Jin finished his food, pushing his plate back. Disregarding Taehyung and Namjoon's conversation, he leveled himself with me, studying me quicker than I could fathom before prompting, "Is someone hurting you?"

I gaped at him before blinking rapidly.

"Yes, then," he concurred. He sat back. "She'll stay. Until her friend comes back from vacation."

Namjoon lifted a brow. "Are you sure? We don't—"

"No, we don't know her, but yes." Jin sipped his coffee. "I'm sure."

Taehyung sighed with relief, smiling at him gratefully. "Thank you."

I bowed from my position, lifting myself to see the three of them staring at me.

Namjoon tilted his head. "Do you speak?"

I nodded.

"I think she's just...nervous," Taehyung offered uncertainly.

Thinking that was the easiest explanation, I nodded again.

"That's all right." Jin set his cup down. "She can be nervous, but she doesn't need to be."

Taehyung nudged my plate closer to me, encouraging me to eat. I tried, but I didn't like rice. The texture was off and sticky, but Taehyung had been so kind, so I tried my best.

A few minutes passed of the three of them eating and talking every so often about upcoming rehearsals when Taehyung took note of my grimace.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked. "Are you in pain?"

Jin took one look at me. "I don't think she likes it."

"Likes what?" Taehyung asked, worried.

"Her breakfast."

Taehyung's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh no. Do you not like rice? Does it taste bad—just like licorice?"

My bottom lip turned out sorrily, and his eyes widened, quick to reassure me, "It's okay, it's okay. I—actually, Jungkook has a few protein shakes. Hold on; I'll get you some, okay?"

He was up and bolting to the fridge before I could do so much as nod, and I really hoped I hadn't hurt the feelings of whoever made the rice. I was sure it would've tasted good if I liked white rice.

Taehyung returned with a protein shake, already twisting it side to side to mix it around. "Do you like this brand? Is this okay?"

I nodded eagerly, bowing in my seat again.

"Oh, good," he breathed out, relinquishing it to me. "You can have as many as you want."

I wondered how many times I could bow my thanks during breakfast.

"We'll get ready to go," Taehyung said once everyone was finished eating. Scratching the top of his head, he wondered, "Do you have a change of work clothes?"

I looked down at what I wore yesterday—and what I'd slept in. It was rumpled and wrinkled, and once again ashamed and embarrassed, I hung my head.

"You look fine," he rushed to say. "I just didn't know if—I mean—we have an iron if you want to iron them out, but no one will care. It's just what makes you comfortable."

What made me comfortable?

Taehyung was very, very kind, and I wasn't sure what to do with all of his kindness. Where did I put it? Could I swallow it and hold it in my stomach until I was alone again so I would never forget what it felt like?

I stood, nodding my thanks, and relieved I didn't seem to be offended by his words, he stood with me, motioning for me to follow him.

Ironing my clothes, I listened to the chatter outside the guestroom as everyone rose for the day. It was much different from my other mornings. I learned to be as quiet as possible, to slip away before Ryker woke up and found reason to hurt me, but at Taehyung's house, no one seemed to mind for volume.

It was nice, and I wished to swallow it, too.

꧁꧂

 

I couldn't focus when I arrived at HYBE. Taehyung had driven me, and I thankfully hadn't had any more run ins with the other members as I was sure I would only make it awkward, and I stood at reception, trapped in a bubble as my tongue continued to work against me.

It was trying its hardest, as was I, but speaking was always difficult when I was overwhelmed. With everything that had happened and walking the streets the other night with no sleep, my system was overloaded, afraid, and tired. It's focus wasn't on speech; it was on survival.

I made sure to push out extra big smiles to prove that I wasn't being rude when I didn't speak much, not wanting my curt 'yes' and 'no' answers to be taken as rude, but a few people gave me dirty looks, making me feel rude and awful and quite horrible.

At lunch, my little 'yes' and 'no's had left me again, and it was just me struggling to drink a protein shake from the break room. I'd taken two sips when Taehyung pulled up a chair beside me.

Putting a pack of vending machine cookies in front of me, he pushed his chair closer to mine. "Hey." His half smile was sweet and reached his eyes. It was soothing, just the very sight of it. "I thought you might want some cookies with your shake."

I bowed as I'd done at breakfast, raising myself after a moment to catch the bewilderment in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Why can't you speak?"

There were too many words needed to explain and convey, and I began to try to do so with my hands, but I paused, knowing my attempt would be futile.

He spotted the motion, his brows knitting together. "Do your hands hurt?"

I shook my head, a frown pulling at my lips. I lifted my right hand, put it to my chest, just above my heart, and rubbed circles a few times before letting it drop.

His eyes widened. "Sorry?"

I blinked in surprise, my lips parting as I nodded eagerly.

"Okay, okay," he breathed out. "I learned a little sign language for a song we did." He rested his elbows on his knees, nodding toward my hands. "I know the alphabet. Do you want to finger sign?"

Relief poured over me at the notion of being understood, and I tried to go slow so he could understand, but my fingers flew through the familiar motions, unable to stop.

"Oh, uh, I—I can't understand it that fast," he said with an apologetic smile. "Can you go a little slower?"

I signed 'sorry' again before trying to go slower. "Overwhelmed," I signed.

"Overwhelmed," he said slowly, his eyes brightening with recognition at the word. "You're overwhelmed." He paused. "You can't speak when you're overwhelmed?"

I hesitated.

He noticed, urging me gently, "Can you explain? You don't have to, but if you think it'll help, please tell me. I can help."

He sounded so sincere, and he'd been so kind, so I believed he truly wanted to help in that moment and began to explain.

"A-U-T," he spelled out, squinting as he watched my fingers carefully. "I-S-M. Aut...Autism!" He turned red when he realized how loud he'd just been, bowing his head slightly to the people who looked our way.

"Sorry," he said in a hushed tone to me. "I just got excited that I spelled it out." He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't mean to be that loud."

I made an A-OK signal.

"Ah, thanks," he said, chuckling slightly. "Okay, so." He sat up straighter. "You have Autism?"

I nodded.

"I don't know much about Autism." He frowned, shaking his in disappointment. Not with me—but at himself, and my heart tugged at the sight. "Maybe this is too much to have you finger spell, but how does Autism make you not speak?"

I signed 'overwhelmed' again.

"Really?" He thought for a moment, his features creasing as he did. "If you're overwhelmed, you can't speak?"

I nodded.

"Oh, okay." He mulled this over. "When do you start talking again? If that's—I mean—if that's not rude to ask. You don't have to talk," he quickly added. "I was just wondering."

I put my two index fingers together, then pulled them apart off to the side. Then, I finger spelled what I signed. Different.

"It's different?" he echoed. "You mean, it's different each time it happens?" I confirmed. "Ah. Okay." He grimaced. "I'm sorry I don't know much about this. I wish I could be more help."

I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

He nudged the pack of cookies closer to me. "Maybe cookies will help?"

More to set him at ease than anything, I agreed and ate the cookies. After a moment of watching me, he inquired in a quieter tone, "Was it the other night that overwhelmed you? Staying out all night?"

I tensed at the remembrance, nibbling on the chocolate chips of the cookie.

"You don't have to answer now," he let me know, his cheeks red. "I'm really bad at this. I probably shouldn't have asked that right now. Just ignore me."

I shook my head, patting his hand. He did the same in return, sitting with me all through lunch.

"Is it okay if I talk?" he asked. "Does that overwhelm you?"

I wave my hands around in denial, showing a thumbs-up.

"That's good," he noted, put more at ease.

He didn't talk as much as usual, but he stayed with me, smiling whenever I looked at him. He was, I thought, the kindest person I'd ever met.

Toward the end of my shift, my words had begun to return. They were exhausted, and so was I, so although they were arriving, I didn't put them to use, allowing them to rest.

With a heavy tongue and mind, I cleaned my area to ensure it was ready when 5 PM arrived. I kept thinking about Taehyung's home and his members—his friends.

Namjoon had seemed put off by me, and Jin had seen right through me. Taehyung trusted them, but did that mean I could trust them, too?

Jaehyun walked by with Hoseok, turning his attention to me. "How are you feeling?" he called.

I froze when Hoseok's attention shifted to mine when Jaehyun spoke, his lips shifting into one of his famous smiles. Wondering if he knew about me staying with them, I showed Jaehyun a thumbs-up.

He laughed as if I'd said something funny. "Okay, Faeryn. Good to know."

Taehyung popped up behind them, just a few feet away, and he tore himself away from them, heading for me instead. Hoseok took note of this, his interest piqued as he slowed his steps to see what Taehyung was doing with me.

Maybe Hoseok's phone was on silent when Taehyung texted him about this, too.

"Ready to go?" Taehyung asked when he reached me. "We're going to grab take-out on the way to our house. Is there anything you like?" Slipping his phone into his pocket, he brought both of his hands up, hesitating before placing them down. Shaking them slightly, his palms facing up, he brought his right hand to his mouth, curling it slightly to tap, pointed at me, then took his index and middle fingers to his chest, sliding them outward.

He looked at me hopefully. "Did I do that right? I looked it up earlier and I've been practicing all day, but maybe I got the food sign wrong? I can try again." He began to do so, but I was smiling, and he paused, his eyes flickering with excitement. "I did it right?"

I signed, "Amazing."

He beamed. "Amazing! I know that one."

I had the slightest notion I shouldn't have felt giddy when I'd been roaming the streets of Seoul at night, but Taehyung made it difficult to be anything but happy in his presence.

"Chicken and broccoli," I told him verbally. "With fried rice."

His jaw slackened. "You can talk again?"

"A little. Just...tired."

"Don't wear yourself out then," he said determinedly. "I'll finger sign." Sheepishly, he added, "I'm a little slow at it, but I'll try to be faster."

I signed, "Good signing."

He let out a little confused breath. "That's...I don't know what that means."

"Good signing," I explained, lowering myself to log out of the computer. "All done."

"All done," he repeated. "How do I sign that?"

I shook my hands. "All done."

He copied the motions, looking absolutely thrilled. "I'll sign and crochet, just like you."

And when my heart melted, my mind and tongue felt less heavy.

"Hey." Hoseok's hands were shoved in his pockets as he approached. Although he smiled at me in greeting, he looked at Taehyung expectantly, waiting to be introduced.

Taehyung gaped at him. "Do any of you read your texts?"

Hoseok's brow arched. "Not especially. Why?"

Taehyung mumbled under his breath before revealing, "This is Faeryn, my friend I've been hanging out with."

Hoseok's features shifted with recognition. "Your crochet teacher."

"Friend," Taehyung corrected.

"Right, of course." Hoseok bowed slightly in greeting. "Nice to meet you, Faeryn." Lifting himself, his shoulder brushed against Taehyung's playfully. "He talks about you a lot."

A dark red bloomed on Taehyung's cheeks; his favorite color. "She's a good friend; of course I'm going to talk about her a lot."

My cheeks burned.

Hoseok chuckled as he looked between the two of us. "I'm glad that you two are such good...friends."

Taehyung set him a look that Hoseok didn't take quite seriously, the latter's shining smile containing an inkling of teasing now.

"We're going," Taehyung spoke rather firmly, turning his gaze back to me. His voice softened when it was directed to me. "Ready?"

"Ready?" Hoseok prompted inquisitively.

"If you just read your texts, you'd—" Taehyung sighed. "She's staying with us for a little bit."

Hoseok laughed before he faltered. "You're serious?"

"Yes," Taehyung insisted. "Read your texts next time." He held his arm out to me, and with a nervous glance at Hoseok, I took my chances and joined Taehyung on the other side of the desk.

Arm in arm, he heeded my features, taking them in as he queried, "What kind of broccoli and chicken do you like?"

"With brown sauce," I murmured.

"Ahh, like Chinese takeout style?"

I nodded quickly.

"We'll grab some for you," he said cheerily, the color in his face slowly fading back to normal. "And you know what the best thing about eating is?" To my questioning look, he revealed, "No talking is required."

My cheek brushed his shoulder appreciatingly.

Falling into step beside us, Hoseok scrolled through his phone, most likely reading Taehyung's prior text. Jaehyun was waiting at the door, tracking the three of us curiously.

"Unexpected friends," he commented when we arrived before him.

I shuffled closer to Taehyung, peeking up to see him shrug.

"Why?" he queried. "Everyone can be friends; there's nothing unexpected about that."

"I've never seen you two talk," Jaehyun pointed out. "That's what I meant."

Hoseok's gaze lifted from his phone, immediately going to mine. He didn't say anything, and the look he wore made me wonder what Taehyung had texted him and his friends.

Returning his phone into his pocket, his voice entered the air, low and gravelly—much different than it was before. "We'll get you Chinese take-out." I didn't miss how he looked at the bruise on my cheek more keenly than before. "Do you like soda?"

I nodded timidly.

He returned the motion curtly. "We'll get you soda, too. I know a Chinese restaurant with a variety of sodas; you can pick whichever one you'd like."

"Thank you," I spoke through my surprise and gratitude. "That's...thank you so much. I'll pay you back when I—"

"Don't worry about it." His next smile was strained. Patting Taehyung's back, he said, "We'll talk when we get home; me and you."

"Yeah, okay," Taehyung responded, confused.

"All right," Jaehyun said as we exited the building. "I'm heading out, but I'll see you tomorrow." He pointed at me. "Make sure they behave; they have wild nights."

"Wild nights." Hoseok scoffed, pushing him playfully. "Get out of here."

Jaehyun's eyes crinkled, a laugh barking out of him. "I'm on my way, I'm on my way."

With Jaehyun on his way, Taehyung and Hoseok walked on either side of me to Taehyung's car.

Taehyung cast a look over the top of my head to Hoseok. "You're riding with us?" he queried.

Hoseok nodded. "Is that all right? I rode here with Yoongi today, so I didn't bring my car."

"Yeah, hyung, 'course it is." Taehyung made a grand sweep with his vacant arm, still letting me hold to his other. "We can share. Faeryn gets shotgun, though."

"Of course," Hoseok concurred. "She can choose what music we listen to, too."

I perked up. "Really?"

"Of course." Hoseok opened the door to shotgun for me when Taehyung unlocked it. "Taehyung's music choice gets boring after a while."

Taehyung wasn't deterred, brushing off the easy tease with a half-grin. "Get in the car."

True to their word, I picked the music and chose what soda I wanted. I picked what I always did, a cola, and sipped it contentedly as Taehyung drove us home and the Chinese take-out warmed my lap.

Finding the courage for words amid the sound of my favorite music—indie folk—and the comforting smell of Chinese food, I told Taehyung and Hoseok, "I really like this drink, and Chinese food, and this song."

"Yeah?" Hoseok prompted from the backseat. "I like this song, too."

"Oh, really?" Pleasantly surprised, I shifted in my seat, moving around a bit as the music crescendoed. It was almost a dance, the little bounces I did, barely movement but still causing the seatbelt to strain against my chest. "Do you know their other songs? They have this one song with a really nice pre-chorus called, "Other News", and I really like it. It's the best."

"I'll have to check it out."

"Okay!"

The take-out bag crinkled in my lap, alerting me of my movements, and I halted, holding the bag to still it.

Excited to eat, lulled by the music, and feeling content around Taehyung, I gripped the top of my slacks and sank deeper into my seat.

It was all right, being with him and Hoseok. I didn't have the notion that they would hurt me like Ryker, didn't see it in the way they carried themselves, and I decided that for tonight, I could trust them. Maybe I would feel differently tomorrow, but it felt all right for now. Not as painful as I'd been feeling, and it was a relief. If anything, it made me exhausted.

Jungkook and Yoongi were in the kitchen when we arrived, Korean BBQ take-out spread across the table.

"Hey," Jungkook said around a bite of chicken, not taking noticing of me yet, too absolved in his dinner and showing Yoongi something on his phone. "Where'd you go?"

"To grab Chinese take-out," Hoseok said, holding his hand out to me. Confused, I simply stared at it, only understanding when he instructed, "I'll set it up for you. Why don't you go wash up?"

I released the bag to him, highly aware of Jungkook's sudden attention. Yoongi had taken note of me as soon as I'd entered with Taehyung and Hoseok, but he didn't appear surprised. Maybe some of them read texts after all.

"You can wash up in the bathroom," Taehyung offered. "It's just down the hall."

"Where...where down the hall?" I asked, pivoting slightly.

"Walk down straight and take a left," he elaborated. "Hoseok will get your food set up."

"Oh, he doesn't have to do that—"

"He doesn't mind," Taehyung decided just as Hoseok said, "I don't mind."

I pushed onto the tip of my toes and settled onto the side of my heels. "Well, I really appreciate it."

Hoseok's eyes smiled at me. "Go get washed up."

As I washed my hands in their bathroom, I half-believed I was dreaming or had entered a fairy-tale—one where I was allowed to eat dinner and live an entire day without being hurt. It reminded me of my childhood when I still had happiness and hope, and although my body hurt and my skin homed an assortment of bruises, there was a flicker of what I'd once had, nestling deep within my chest; it tickled my nose, and I let it, glad to feel something that didn't pain me.

On my way back to the kitchen, I heard muffled talking, hushed and quick words being exchanged. I slowed in my step, not wanting to interrupt, and in the process, I caught a few words.

"Someone's hurting her," Taehyung said in an undertone, his tone more serious than I'd ever heard it be. Shocked, I halted where I stood, balancing on the side of my feet. "We have to make her as comfortable as possible while she's here."

"We will," Yoongi said, his voice deeper than I expected it to be. 

"We don't know her," Jungkook spoke quieter, sounding upset. And nervous. "She could do something."

"She won't do anything," Taehyung assured him. "She won't steal or anything like that."

Jungkook persisted, "I don't know her."

Taehyung grunted. "Yeah, I guess, but when you know her, you'll know she'd never do anything like that."

"It's all right," Hoseok consoled Jungkook. "Eat your food; your Namjoon hyung will be home soon."

Only slightly appeased, Jungkook mumbled, "I am eating."

"Then keep eating," Hoseok returned, fondness staining his words. "Everything's fine."

Appeased, Taehyung said, "It is, and you'll see how nice she is, Jungkook. You will."

His trust in me caused my heart to soar, happy it wasn't misplaced. I knew what it felt like, to trust someone just to be let down by them, like Ryker had done with me. Tell me he loved me only to garner enough of my trust to make me wholly independent on him.

I swallowed roughly, gripping my slacks for comfort as I resumed my step.

I would never hurt anyone like Ryker had hurt me; I couldn't imagine the guilt that would befall me if I harmed someone and saw their betrayed face staring back at me, full of hurt and wounds I'd inflicted.

Stepping back into the kitchen, my cartons of chicken and broccoli were open, the chopsticks sticking out of them, and my soda bottle was beside them with a seat already pulled out for me.

Touched, a fountain of thank yous slipped from my lips, Hoseok brushing each one away with a small smile.

Hoping to do something nice in return, even if it wasn't as much as they'd done for me, I offered, "I like your bathroom. It's a nice blue."

"A nice blue," Hoseok echoed, amusement prominent on his lips. "Thank you."

"Of course!" I took a seat, gripping my chopsticks and using them to lift a piece of chicken. "I like chicken," I said without much thought.

"I'm sure you do." He took a seat, plating his own food. "I'm sure that's why you got it for dinner."

I blushed. "Yeah, I...yeah. I just like it."

"Yeah?" He popped open a bottle of Peach Soju. "You can tell us if you like something; don't be embarrassed."

Crimson spread from my cheeks to my neck. "I like broccoli, too."

"Mhm." He poured himself a glass. "What else?"

"This soda, and...the bed in the guest room. It's comfortable."

"Good." He pushed a glass of Soju toward Jungkook who accepted it, and when I followed the motion, I realized the latter's wary attention was mine. "You tell us if anything's not comfortable, okay? We'll take care of it."

My heart leapt up to my throat, and I swallowed around it, my eyes big as I took in his offer. "Thank you."

He hummed in response while Jungkook considered me over his glass with a tilt of his head, his gaze cautious and calculating. I looked away, the eye-contact uncomfortable, and I ate more of my food, my stomach thanking me with every bite.

They talked over dinner, nothing too personal—mostly about work—but they included me, making sure I knew I could join the conversation. Listening and observing came easier to me, so I watched them eat and talk for the majority of dinner, content with my food and drink in a non-violent space.

I didn't realize I finished my food until my chopsticks scraped at the carton, and my stomach rumbled its disappointment. Heat tickled the back of my neck, and my embarrassment only worsened when Taehyung inquired, "Still hungry?" He lifted his plate slightly; an offering. "We have extra."

"No, that's okay," I refuted. "It's for you."

"There's lots," he returned, an easy tease. "Come on. Don't you like Korean BBQ?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek before agreeing hesitantly.

"Great," he chirped, retrieving a new plate for me. "You can pick whatever you want."

I was so full when I finished—full of food and conversation, and I thought to myself, this is okay. I like this a lot.

Chapter 3: Closer To You

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Thursday was scary; everything about it was, including the night before.

I trembled throughout my shift, half-expecting to see Ryker appear and force me to return with him.

Lyric's manager revealed she would be back next week, and Taehyung told me I could stay with him and his friends until then, but what if Ryker came back? Would Taehyung let him take me?

"Faeryn?" I tore my eyes from the front doors, my breath hitching when I saw Taehyung's friend and member, Jimin. He was approaching with his hands in his pockets and a careful smile. "I don't mean to interrupt."

"Oh, it's fine," I stammered, watching him stop in front of my desk. "Can I help you?"

"No, no, nothing like that." His eyes flit across my face, examining me. "We haven't met yet, and you'll be staying at our house, so I wanted to introduce myself."

"Oh." I stood up straighter. "Hi, I'm Faeryn. I'm a receptionist."

His eyes crinkled. "Hi, Faeryn. I'm Jimin."

I bowed my head. "It's nice to meet you, and—thank you so much for letting me stay at your house. I won't stay for long, I promise. I'll figure everything out."

"What's everything?" he asked, keeping the careful tint to his tone. "You haven't told Taehyung much of what's going on."

"I..." I glanced back at the doors. "I can't go home."

"It's not safe is what you said, right?"

"Yeah, it's..." I tried to stay calm, but images of Ryker kept flashing through my head, tormenting and taunting me. "It's not safe, and I'm not allowed."

"You're not allowed to go to your own home?" His brows knit together. "Is it a house or an apartment?"

"Apartment."

"Are you on the lease? If you pay rent, legally, you can't be kicked out."

"Yeah, I...I pay rent, but it's..." I pasted on a smile. "It was nice to meet you, but I have to get back to work."

As if on cue, he took in my shaking hands and twitching brow. "Faeryn," he resumed slowly. "I know we don't each other, but I don't like seeing people be taken advantage of. If that's what's happening to you, just let me know."

I regarded him uneasily. Kindness never came that easy; there always seemed to be a catch. "Why?" I asked hesitantly.

"You're Taehyung's friend," he returned firmly. "You mean something to him, so you mean something to me."

My head spun.

"Why do you keep looking at the doors?" he prompted. "Are you waiting for someone?"

My attention snapped back to his, and my eyes widened at his intent gaze. "I was—I was just—" A shudder tore through me, exhaustion making it hard to think clearly. "I have to get back to work."

His lips drew into a thin line. "Is someone going to come here?"

His question was too similar to my thoughts, and it caused me to blurt, "I don't know."

When my eyes welled with tears, his voice lost some of its tension and slipped into a smooth tone—one that began to caress the turmoil coursing through me.

"All right," he soothed. "That's okay; you don't have to know, but they can't come in here without going through security first, just like everyone else."

His words were true, but Ryker had always been good at finding loopholes, and everyone loved the facade he put on—the charisma he pushed out to lure people into his trap.

"I don't want him to come here," I heard myself say, ashamed of the fear lacing in my tone. "I'm scared."

He took a step closer, the desk the only thing between us. "Can you tell me who he is?"

"I'm not allowed." I clutched the underside of the desk. "I'll get in trouble."

"With him?" he asked grimly. When I nodded, his features darkened. "He can't get to you here. Like I said, he has to go through security."

"Okay," I whispered, too far gone in my fear to be consoled by the facts.

"Hey." He tapped the table, a gentle action, and I switched my attention to his. "It'll be okay. You'll stay with us, and soon, you'll be able to stay with your friend. Was her name Lyric?"

I nodded.

"Okay," he concurred. "As long as you're around good people, it'll be harder for the bad ones to get to you."

I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing relentlessly. "I'll be good, I promise. I won't make a mess at your house, and I'll buy my own food when I get paid tomorrow, and pay everyone back, and—"

"Hey, no." He shook his head, his smile shifting from careful to kind. "We're not doing this for you to pay us back, all right? It's not a problem to put our money to use for someone who needs it more than we do."

I stared at him in disbelief.

Ryker had been kind to me when we first met, love bombing every other second, so how was I to know if Jimin wasn't doing the same thing?

Unsure, I twined my fingers together and decided on a quick nod.

"Good." He returned my nod. "Save your money and use it for you. They pay well here; if you don't want to go back to your apartment, you can save up for a new one."

I gave a quick nod.

"Yeah?" he prompted. "That sounds good?"

"Yes," I breathed out. "I want that."

"Then you'll have it; all you have to do is save up, okay?"

"Okay." Feeling slightly better, although unsure of the reason behind his kindness, I rummaged around in my purse. Pulling out a cookie packet Taehyung had bought for me earlier in the day, I off-handedly offered, "Do you want one?"

The corners of his mouth twitched, and another soft smile pulled through. "Those are Taehyung's favorites."

"He got them for me." I blushed a bit. "I like them now, too."

"Keep them, then. For you."

"But—"

"For you." He chuckled at my frown. "I had my snack before I came down here."

"Was it...was it good?" I tried to make conversation. "What was it?"

"A protein shake."

Eagerly, I shared, "I have protein shakes all the time; they're my favorite."

"Yeah?" He watched me return my cookies to my purse. "Do you grab them from the breakroom?"

"Everyday for lunch!"

"Really? Everyday?" He breathed out another chuckle. "And you don't get tired of them?"

I shook my head. "They're easy and quick, and I don't have to chew."

"You don't have to chew?"

"Yeah, because it's liquid, but...food takes too long, and chewing is a lot sometimes." I trailed off awkwardly. "I just like them."

"Well, Faeryn." He tilted his head, his smile following the motion. "I'm glad you like them."

Not finding any judgement or belittling behavior in his words, I relaxed as much as I could, showing a small smile of my own.

"I have to get back to practice," he said, taking a step back. "But I'll see you tonight."

"Okay," I agreed quickly. "Thank you for talking to me."

"Of course," he responded. "You don't have to thank me for that."

"Well...okay." I fiddled with the bottom of my blouse. "I'll...see you later?"

"You will." His eyes were crescent moons for his last smile, and I watched him instead of the doors until he was out of sight.

Night came, but Ryker didn't come with it. Taehyung drove me to his home, and when we entered, the smell of dinner greeted us.

Jin was the culprit for it, his back to us as he tended the stove.

"Hyung," Taehyung called cheerily, setting his backpack on the table. "What's for dinner?"

Jin didn't turn around. "Bag off the table."

Taehyung did as he was told, slinging it back over his shoulder. "Smells good."

"Gamja Jorim," Jin responded. "Vegetables and beef are in the oven."

My eyes lit up. "I love potatoes."

"Yes," Jin responded, his back still to us. Turning slightly, he caught my gaze. "I've been told."

I blinked up at Taehyung, twining my hands together. "You told him?"

"I did," he confirmed lightly. "You like potatoes, I like potatoes—it's a potato kind of day."

"Thank you," I hurried to say. "That's really great because I—that's—I mean—" I inched closer to him before inching back. "I really like potatoes, and you're really nice."

His form melted towards mine, and he showed a bright smile, but it was soft. Gentle. Just like he was proving to be. "You're nice too." He pulled a seat out for me. "Do you want to sit? We have time before we have to wash up."

I took a seat, happy that he sat beside me. I beamed at him and earned a smile in return.

"Smells good," Jimin said upon his arrival, hanging his jacket on the rack. I turned, offering a timid wave, and his lips inched upwards. "Hey, Faeryn. How was the rest of your shift?"

"Good," I told him. "And...and yours?"

He hummed. "Good."

Taehyung grinned. "You two met?"

"Mm, today," Jimin confirmed. "She tried to give me a packet of cookies you gave her. Maybe she doesn't like them all that much, huh?"

"Faeryn," Taehyung gasped playfully, earning little giggles from me. "Those are for you and you only."

As Jin turned off the oven, Taehyung added teasingly, "If you share with Jimin, he won't let you stop."

"It's true." Jimin walked forward, a lazy smile resting on his features. "I'm greedy."

"I can share." I nodded quickly. "I don't mind. You're sharing so much with me."

"Remember what we talked about?" He walked to the sink, lifting his shirt to his forearms as he turned it on. "No thanks is needed."

"No cookies either," Taehyung teased me.

I frowned. "Then what can I do?"

"Save up." Jimin washed his hands, the suds falling into the sink and creating bubbles. "And get an apartment you love."

"But that's..." I shook my head, confused. "That's not giving you anything."

"Yes, it is."

I turned red, and my voice dipped into an embarrassed whisper. "It gives you your home back."

"What?" His hands paused, his brow arching in question. "I never lost my home."

"Well, because I'm in it." I averted my eyes, paying close attention to the pretty engravings in the table; black swirls that bloomed into flowers. "You lost privacy and that's part of your home."

"My home," he returned firmly, rinsing hands with his full attention on me, "is a home because my friends come around to make it one. Homes are for people, and you being here doesn't make it any less of one."

My voice was quieter, if possible, barely above a whisper. "Really?"

He tilted his head and turned off the sink. "Who told you otherwise?"

I didn't say a word, not wanting to defile his home with Ryker's name.

Jin retrieved plates. "Food is ready."

Taehyung peered into my face and patted the top of my hand. His action caused me to realize the pain of my nails digging into my palms, and he gently tugged them away, pushing them open and laying them in his.

Tracing the lines in my palm, he spoke softly. "I like it when you're here. Don't feel like I don't, or that any of us don't. We wouldn't say we wanted you here if we didn't mean it."

My nose scrunched, unable to process the sentiment—too used to the opposite being true. When I didn't respond, he pressed my hands together, telling me, "Be gentle."

I nodded, melting closer to him when he ran his hand through my hair. He paused, his eyes widening when he realized his action and immediately pulling his hand away.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly. "I didn't mean—"

"It's okay." I leaned toward him, slightly tilting my head toward his hand.

He took this in, his expression filling with question. "That was okay?"

"Yes," I breathed out.

He hesitated before threading his fingers through my hair experimentally, but when he felt me relax, he became more comfortable, gently scratching the top of my head.

I could've purred, my eyes fluttering at the feeling. It had been so long since anyone treated or touched me kindly, and when my grandparents died, all that I had was Ryker's cruelty, but Taehyung and his friends were so kind, and his hands—they were just as kind as him. Just as soft.

"Taehyung," I mumbled.

His fingers paused. "Yeah?"

"It feels really nice."

His tone softened. "Yeah?" He continued, slithering his hand down to cup the back of my neck to offer a gentle squeeze. "You like massages?"

"Mm, yeah, feels nice."

"You're tense," he noted.

"Sorry."

"No, don't be." His hands fell away much to my dismay. "I can help; Jungkook says I'm good at massages."

I perked up, dragging my eyes open to look into his. "Really?"

"Yeah, of course!" He shifted, bringing my chair closer to his, swiveling it so my back was facing him. He stood, his taller frame hovering over where I sat, but it didn't feel intimidating. Instead, my stomach fluttered with anticipation, and I straightened in preparation for his hands.

His tongue met the roof of his mouth for a gentle click. "No, it's okay. Just relax, okay?"

With a blush, I nodded, struggling to relax my shoulders. After a moment of watching me struggle, he set his hands on my shoulders, gently pushing them down. "Do you know how to relax?" he murmured.

My red spread to my neck and throat, blossoming on my chest. "No."

"That's okay." His thumbs dug into my skin, rubbing around to alleviate tension. "I'll help."

True to his word, with every brush of his fingers and skilled work of his thumbs, I slumped further into the chair, my eyes re-closing soon after.

The smell of dinner wafted around, the familiar smell of potatoes only furthering my relaxation, and I vibrated where I sat, a content buzz of settled nerves.

"That feel nice?" he prompted, his voice quiet and soothing.

I managed a mumbled confirmation, letting out a surprised squeak when my head lolled back. I heard Jimin chuckle, and Taehyung was quick to hold the back of my neck to stabilize it.

"It's okay," he soothed, his voice amused and—it sounded fond, something I hadn't heard in so long, and for a moment, I was afraid I would cry. "You're just getting relaxed."

"I like being relaxed," I uttered. "But I don't want to fall."

"You wont," he assured. "I'll make sure you won't."

With one hand on the back of my neck, he resumed the massage, his fingers working firm and deep on my skin, and I hummed contentedly, lost in the feeling.

Plates were set down, but I couldn't find it in myself to open my eyes. Exhausted from worrying all day, I teetered closer to sleep, the concept of eating good but the concept of sleep better.

"Can I sleep?" I asked Taehyung, the side of my head nudging against his forearm. 

"What about food?" he prompted. "You're not hungry?"

"Sorry, I am, and I like potatoes, but I'm—" I yawned, my head lulling again. "I'm just so tired."

"You want to try eating just a little?" Jimin asked. "Hm? You might wake up during the night if you're hungry."

A whine slipped through my lips, and my cheeks heated at the sound, a flurry of apologies leaving me.

"It's okay," the three of them spoke simultaneously, Jimin adding, "How about a few bites? Can you take a few bites?"

I heard the rip of chopsticks, and a moment later, a warm potato was brought to my lips. My eyes still closed, I parted my lips, allowing the potato to be set on my tongue. I chewed languidly, easier to do with the soft substance, and once I swallowed, I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't, exhaustion keeping them closed.

I recognized that I should've been ashamed of being fed, that I should've woken up fully to do it myself, but the feeling of being cared for while comfort was massaged into my shoulders was too much, and I sunk into it with every passing second.

So, I kept whispering my thanks, opening my mouth every time they prompted me to.

"Doing so good." Jimin's low praise filled the space near me, and with Taehyung still massaging me, I realized he must be the one feeding me. "Almost done."

"Jimin," I said tiredly. "So nice."

"Shh," he chuckled. "I'm not doing anything special; just helping."

"So nice," I whispered.

I was more than half-asleep by the time I'd finished, more relaxed than I'd been in a long time.

Taehyung's voice appeared close to my ear, his voice quiet and low. "Can you walk?"

I reached for him, searching for more comfort, and immediately, he lifted me from the chair, holding me bridal style in his arms.

My head fell to rest on his chest, firm and steady, and I released a deep breath, nuzzling into it.

"Taehyung," I whispered. "You're so nice to me."

He held me tighter, his tone matching mine. "You deserve it."

I wasn't sure that was true, but I clung to him as best as I could, falling asleep before we made it to the guest room.

I slept better than I had in years.

꧁꧂

 

I woke up peaceful and sated, my thoughts floating and light. Yawning, I turned in bed, bringing the blankets up to my face and snuggling into them.

A knock on my door startled me, and I lifted my face, waiting for it to be opened.

"Faeryn?" Taehyung. "Are you awake? We have breakfast downstairs."

I lifted myself only to fall back into the pillows, immediately burying myself in them. Partially peaking my face out of them, I rasped, "I'm awake."

"Good morning," he said with his usual cheerfulness. "How'd you sleep?"

I forced myself to sit up, although I took the pillow with me. Placing it between my knees, I bent my body forward to snuggle into it. "Really good."

"Great! That's really great." I saw the shadow of his footsteps outside the door, and I watched them shuffle. "Do you want to come out?"

I nodded, carefully slipping my legs off the bed. Clutching the pillow to my chest, I wobbled toward the door, blinking sleepily when I opened it.

I was immediately met with Taehyung's smile and cologne. I inched toward him, the smell not too poignant and rather nice, and I managed a sleepy smile up at him.

"Hey." He steadied my shoulder when I began to topple over, a chuckle leaving him when I giggled tiredly. "You have your pillow?"

"Yeah." I squeezed it tighter.

"Won't it get dirty at breakfast?"

"Yeah." I smiled sheepishly, a bright red. "I'll put it back."

"Don't be silly." He steered me toward the stairs with a big smile. "Pillows can be washed."

I beamed.

Jungkook was in the kitchen guzzling a protein shake as his vacant hand fitted his jacket on. His eyes caught mine over the top of his shake and immediately flitted to Taehyung's.

Taehyung chirped, "Good morning! Any chance you'd like to be the polite best friend I know you are and share another protein shake with Faeryn?"

Jungkook, although he didn't speak, used his eyes to signal to the fridge.

Taehyung snapped his fingers into a thumbs-up. "You're the greatest."

I bowed my thanks, scurrying to keep up with Taehyung as he led me to the fridge. I chose a vanilla shake, taking sips from it as a few of the others came and went from the kitchen, saying their good mornings as they prepared to leave.

"How'd you sleep?" Jimin asked me, balancing his bowl of rice on his knee as he combed through his hair.

I looked at the chopsticks, remembering how he fed me last night. With pink cheeks, I bowed.

He chuckled. "Does that mean you slept well?"

I nodded, still bowing.

"Faeryn," he said, amused. "Stand up. Finish your shake, okay? You'll have to iron your clothes again."

"Do you sleep in pajamas?" Namjoon asked me from his spot near the stairs. Slinging his jacket over his shoulder, he said, "Or do you always sleep in your work clothes?"

"Hyung," Taehyung scolded. "She was tired and fell asleep in them; don't act like you haven't done it before."

"It was just a question." Namjoon grabbed his keys from the hook near the door, looking at me for a moment before prompting, "It's payday, is it not?"

I lifted myself from my bow as my heart began to race. "Yeah, and I—I'll give you whatever you need from it. All of it, if you need it, but I have to get it from my manager, Chiksu first, so—"

"What?" he cut me off, his brows furrowed. "No. You can buy pajamas with your paycheck." His eyes narrowed as they surveyed the others. "Have any of us asked for your money?"

"No," was the immediate, bewildered response from everyone present.

Namjoon put his attention back on me. "Your money is for you, not for us."

Confused, I clutched my shake tighter. "Okay, but...if you want any, I'll—"

"Keep it," he said firmly. "You'll keep it."

I nodded rigidly at the tone he used, stepping back until I bumped into Jin. I exhaled my surprise, jolting forward and nearly spilling my shake.

"Hey, relax." Jimin set his bowl down, his forehead creased. "It's just Jin."

Jin rumbled, "She doesn't know me well enough to be comforted by that."

Jimin sighed, offering a smile as he motioned me forward. "Come sit and finish your shake, okay? You can iron your clothes after."

Tremulously, I listened, hurrying to take a seat whilst hoping everyone's attention would leave mine once I sat.

Jimin angled his face to view my downcast features. "You jumpy in the morning?"

I clutched my pillow to my chest, carefully setting my shake down. "I don't mean to be." I sucked air in through my cheeks. "I won't spill my shake, I promise."

"It's okay if you do," he returned. "Accidents happen."

"But I won't," I insisted. "I'll be good."

He arched a brow but said nothing, instead motioning for me to drink. I did, looking anywhere but him and the others as the shake filled my stomach.

There was a pause, but soon, everyone shuffled around, resuming their preparations and breakfast.

As I drank my shake, I heard Jungkook ask Taehyung in an undertone, "Why does she have a pillow?"

Being perceived was too much to handle, and I tucked my chin to my chest, trying to disappear.

Taehyung responded in a quieter tone, one I couldn't hear, and I sank lower into my seat, sucking the straw in my shake harder in a search for comfort.

"Careful." Jimin's voice invaded his and I's shared space at the table. His eyes flicked toward the straw. "You'll hurt your jaw."

A small whimper left me, and I tried to hold back the embarrassed tears, but it was becoming more difficult with every second. 

"Have to get ready," I managed before shooting up and racing to the stairs.

I left them and my protein shake in my wake, my tears rolling onto the pillow with every step I took.

꧁꧂

 

I missed Lyric.

I missed our lunches, and when Taehyung couldn't make it to lunch that day, it only made me miss her more.

I wondered and wondered if she would let me live with her, trying not to think of what would happen to me if she said no.

I hoped she didn't say no.

When Taehyung came to walk to the exit after work, I didn't understand why he looked so apologetic until he explained, "We have late practice tonight, and Namjoon doesn't want you at the house alone."

I clutched the bottom of my shirt. "I'll just walk around, and..." My thoughts went to earlier. "I can get new pajamas."

"You don't have to." His grip on my arm tightened. "You can stay here; we have a break room on the floor we're practicing in, and there's staff up there, so you won't be alone."

The thought of socializing with anyone else after a full day of it caused pain to throb behind my eyes and my stomach to knot with anxiety.

"No, that's...no, thank you." I pushed out what I hoped to be a reassuring smile. "I want to walk."

He hesitated, looking around before lowering his voice. "Is that safe? You haven't told me why you can't go home, but Jimin said you were scared of someone coming here."

My pulse quickened, my stomach churning painfully. "I thought it would be, but I don't...I'm not sure." I chewed on my lip, looking at him anxiously. "I don't know."

His brows pulled together. "Faeryn."

"I don't know," I repeated in a whisper.

"Okay." He pulled me closer, away from the doors. "Okay. That's fine." He pointed toward the elevators. "We have a workout room. If you want to walk, do you want to walk on treadmills?"

I instinctively reached for the purse I no longer had, the one that contained my earphones. My features dropped. "Will...I'm sorry, but will there be people there?"

He nodded. "Probably, but not much. Everyone's heading home or practicing."

I tugged my earlobe before absently cover it with my hand as my lip quivered.

"What's wrong?" He leaned down, searching my face. "You don't want to?"

"My earplugs."

"You don't have them?"

I shook my head. "My home."

He sighed, pained. "I'm sorry." He pivoted slightly, casting a glance toward the elevators. "I think I have an extra pair. I haven't used them, they're just for if I break the ones I have. Do you want to use them? They're clean, I promise."

My eyes filled with hope. "I'll buy new ones tomorrow, I promise."

"Don't worry," he consoled me. "I don't mind."

He offered his arm, and I took his hand. He squeezed, offering reassuring pressure, and I held on tight as we walk to retrieve his earphones.

They weren't like mine, but they would work for tonight until I could place another order for new ones.

The kind I had were called Loop earplugs; they didn't play music, but they blocked sound well enough to offer relief, and as I slipped Taehyung's earbuds on, I thought of how to ask him to use his phone to place an order with my own money when he was done with practice.

"You're okay here?" he asked once we entered the gym. Much to my relief, there was only one or two others, and they were women, so I felt slightly more at ease.

I nodded, thanking him with a squeeze to his hand.

"You can go to the other room when you're done here if you want," he let me know. "It's on the floor we're practicing on, okay? Right next to it." When I nodded, he added, "We won't be long. Two hours, tops."

I could walk for two hours. Relieved, I hugged his side, craving the warmth it offered. He returned the gesture immediately, soothing his hands up and down my back.

"You're okay?" he asked, his chin brushing the top of my head. "It's okay if you're not. Exercising helps, right? It releases endorphins."

I hugged him tighter. "Yeah."

He rubbed my back a few more times, only breaking the hug when I did. "Two hours tops," he reiterated, his smile bright but his watch intent. "Okay?"

"Okay." I stepped back, leaving his warmth. "Thank you for taking me here and for the earphones."

"Yeah, of course. It's no big deal." He squeezed my shoulder. "Have fun chasing endorphins."

Tired, but determined, walking began to feel good. I got to a point where I couldn't feel the pain in my legs or the bruises Ryker had created just a bit higher, where my chest ached but I enjoyed the burn, and where all that mattered was the next step.

Every sound was muffled by Taehyung's earphones, the room had dim lighting, and the other two women had left, leaving me in blissful silence.

A tap on my shoulder ruined it all, and I jumped, losing my balance and teetering, grasping against the treadmills handles for support. I tore my eyes from in front of me wildly, my heart only racing faster when I saw Jungkook.

His eyes were as wide as mine, his lips parted to create a circle, and his hair, long and curly, was untamed around his face from practice.

I stopped the treadmill, my legs feeling like jelly once I stopped walking.

"Jungkook," I managed. "Sorry. I didn't see you."

He stepped back, allowing me space to leave the treadmill. Once I did, he mumbled, "Jin; he told me to get you."

"Oh." I tried to catch my breath, nodding along to his words. "Okay. Are you...you're done with practice?"

He nodded with me, tugging at a loose strand of his sweatpants.

I skimmed over his brown eyes, choosing a spot on his forehead to focus on instead. "Okay."

His shoulders rose before they fell, and he quickly pivoted toward the door. I followed behind him, my strides much shorter than this, and he didn't slow down, leaving the room much quicker than I did.

Keeping my pace, comfortable not having to close the distance and enter conversation, we both arrived at the front doors. The others were there, talking amongst themselves, and with flushed cheeks, I realized that they were waiting for me.

"Sorry," I said when I was close enough, still breathless. "I didn't realize what time it was."

Taehyung looked over when I spoke, waving me over. "Don't worry about it!" With one look at me, he lips parted. "Were you on the treadmill the entire time?"

"I..." I hesitated. "Was I not supposed to be?"

"No, no, yeah, I just didn't think you'd be on it the whole time. A break, maybe?" He took my hand when I was close enough and laced his fingers with mine. "It was nice? Endorphins and all?"

I relaxed closer to him. "Yeah."

"Good." He walked to the doors, taking me with him. To the others, "Ready?"

At their house, I garnered enough courage to ask to use his phone to order Loop earplugs with my paycheck.

He agreed instantly, and with the talk I'd had with Chiksu earlier, he'd given me cash instead of sending it to my card, so I was able to pay Taehyung if he used his card.

"What are these?" he asked as he scrolled through his laptop, opting for it instead of his phone for the bigger screen. "I've never heard of them before."

"They're for blocking out sound," I explained, shifting closer to him on the living room couch.

"Ah, really?" He squinted to get a better look. "Do they play music?"

I shook my head. "Just block out sound."

"Better than regular earplugs do?"

"Much better."

"Huh." He browsed color options. "That's pretty cool. Which one do you want?"

"Gold," I said eagerly.

"Right." He smiled. "Because yellow's your favorite color." He clicked on the gold, voicing his approval. "What's the word—chic? They're nice."

I nodded quickly. "They're really nice."

He put two in the shopping cart. "Anything else?"

I hesitated. "Oh, just one."

"One for you." He navigated to the checkout. "And one for me."

"For you?"

"Yeah." He pulled out his card from his wallet. "I want to see what they do and how they help you."

"Help me?"

"Yeah." Entering his card information on the screen, he added, "You can't talk when you get overwhelmed, so I thought maybe if things are too loud, that overwhelms you. The earplugs help with that?"

I blinked. "Yeah, they—yeah."

"Then yeah." He pulled his leg over his knee, still inputting his card info. "I want to know what it's like for you. Maybe then I'll be more of a help."

"You're already so much help," I insisted, my eyes wide. "You really are, and you're so nice."

His fingers paused over the keys, and he pivoted, thoughts working behind his eyes before he signed, "Thank you. You too."

A startled laugh left me. "You—Taehyung, you—" I grinned, surprising myself when I hugged him again. I wasn't much for hugs, but he made it easy to melt into his arms, so tender with me. "You're the best."

He leaned back just enough to sign, "You too," again, and I giggled, beaming at him. He beamed right back, his eyes lighting up with a sudden thought.

"You know what?" he exclaimed. "While we're online shopping, I'm going to order a crochet kit for me. What do you think? We can share it until you get yours."

"Yes!" I said, just as excited. "And we can crochet together!"

"Yes!"

A happy flush to both of our faces, we continued our online shopping, side to side on the couch as we talked about what we'd crochet next.

"What's going on in here?" Hoseok asked, walking down the stairs toward us. "Online shopping?"

"Yes," I said excitedly. "Taehyung's getting a crochet kit, and we're going to crochet together."

He lifted his brows, impressed. "Look at you, Taehyung. Really keeping at it, huh?"

"I'll be a professional in no time," Taehyung attested proudly. "My Pokémon army is just around the corner."

Hoseok laughed, stretching his arms as he walked to us. "Is it all right if I watch TV, or would it distract from your online shopping?"

Taehyung looked at me inquisitively.

"Oh," I said, surprised. "Yeah, that's—yeah, of course. It's your TV."

"I know," he confirmed kindly. "But you and Taehyung are in here, so I don't want to sit here uninvited."

"You can," I said before pausing and looking to Taehyung for confirmation.

He nodded, motioning Hoseok to sit. "Can you just keep the TV volume low, Hyung?"

"Yeah, of course," Hoseok agreed good-naturedly, sharing a smile with me when he caught my eye. "What are you both shopping for? Just crochet items?"

"Earplugs, too," Taehyung revealed. "Cool ones."

"Ah, that's nice." He sat on the couch beside Taehyung. "Can I have a look?"

Taehyung listened, navigating to the other webpage and pulling up the payment confirmation screen of our earplugs.

"Very cool." Hoseok cocked his head. "What kind of earplugs are they?"

"Cool ones." Taehyung's next smile was aimed at me. "They block out a lot of noise."

"No music?"

"None."

"They must be good at blocking out noise." Hoseok smiled, leaning over the couch to grab the remote. "They're expensive."

"They are," I attested, anxious for his reaction.

"What do you use for them?" he wondered. "Sleep?"

"Sometimes, but I mostly use them for when things get too loud."

"Ah. That makes sense." He flipped through channels after lowering the volume. "Do you use them at work?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "Work can be loud."

"You can hear well enough with them to interact with people?"

"I'll take one out sometimes."

"Hm." He chose a sitcom, settling back into the couch and drawing his phone from his pocket. "It looked like Taehyung and you bought matching ones."

"We did," Taehyung confirmed proudly.

Hoseok smiled to himself, losing himself to his TV show—background noise—and scrolling through social media on his phone.

After Taehyung and I purchased his crochet kit, we scrolled through Pinterest for crochet project ideas. Eventually, the low sound of the TV and the deep rumble of Taehyung's tone caused my head to lull to his shoulder, a quiet yawn leaving me.

He paused his scrolling to look down at me. "Tired?" I nodded. "You can sleep. If it's okay with you, I can carry you upstairs when the show's over."

"Taehyung," I murmured sleepily. "Thank you for online shopping with me and for carrying me to bed if you want to."

"I do," he returned softly. "I want to." His arm wrapped around me, tugging me closer to him. "Is it okay if I play with your hair like the other night?"

"Yes," I breathed out, nuzzling into his awaiting hand. "It feels nice."

With his fingers gently scratching my scalp and occasionally threading through my hair, sleep approached swiftly. When it had almost taken me, Hoseok asked in a low tone, "Has she mentioned anything about who's hurting her?"

Taehyung's fingers paused their ministrations, shifting slightly to check if I was awake. When he came to the conclusion I wasn't, he responded quietly, "No. With work, we haven't had much time to talk about it, and when she's clocked out, I don't want to overwhelm her."

He sighed softly, adding, "Sometimes, she can't talk when she's overwhelmed."

"Why not?"

Taehyung continued coursing his fingers through my hair. "I think that's more of her place to tell, if she wants."

Hoseok sounded confused but didn't press it. "All right, but if she's being hurt, it would be safer if she told us who it was to prevent them from entering HYBE. For all we know, they could be an employee."

Taehyung's breath hitched. "I didn't think of that."

"I know," Hoseok soothed him. "So why don't you bring it up with her and see if we can't find out?"

Drowsily, I lifted my head, blinking blearily at Taehyung. "I can't tell you," I mumbled, half-asleep.

He jolted, startled. "Faeryn," he breathed out. "I thought you were sleeping."

I shook my head, leaning closer into him. "It's...it's not someone who works at HYBE, but I can't tell you because I'll get in trouble."

They were quiet until Hoseok spoke slowly, "Did the person hurting you tell you that?" 

I nodded languidly. 

"Thank you for telling me," he praised, making my shiver with appreciation. "They're threatening you to keep you in fear, but if they can't get to you, you're safe, no matter if they threaten otherwise."

I frowned sleepily. "He can get to me; everyone always believes him. I believed him once, too, because he was so nice at first." A flurry of fear made me shudder, and I blinked rapidly up at Taehyung. "You're so nice to me, but will you be mean to me soon? Just like him?"

His hold on me tightened protectively, and the pressure stabilized me, making me melt into him.

"No," he responded fiercely. "I'll never be mean to you or hurt you, I promise. And none of my friends will either. That's just not who we are."

Unsure but put at ease in his arms, I went limp, sleep's claws dragging me under. 

"I'll stay with Lyric," I murmured. "And get my own apartment, and then he can never hurt me again. Right?"

"That's right," Hoseok said firmly. "You'll save up and live away from him." Carefully, he added, "But if he knows where you work, it could be a risk."

"A risk?" I whispered.

"I don't want him to hurt you," he returned gravely. "None of us do, and yes, we don't know you very well, Faeryn, so I know you don't trust us, but we don't want anyone to get hurt, and that includes you. If we know his name, we can give it to security and keep him from entering HYBE."

My heart faltered. "You can do that?"

"We can." Taehyung nodded quickly. "And I'm sure if we told the police, we could get him caught."

I froze. "No," I stammered. "I don't—no, please, I don't want the police involved."

Confused, he wondered, "Why not? They could help."

I shook my head rapidly. "Please no. They'll believe him—everyone believes him—and I'll just have to go back to him."

"Is that why you won't tell us his name?" Hoseok asked grimly. "Because you think once we know him, we'll take his side?"

I hesitated before nodding in defeat.

He took in my words for a moment. "Has that happened before?" When I wordlessly confirmed, he pressed, "With the police?"

"Yes," I whispered. "It was one cop, and they laughed together and said I was just emotional and making things up—that all women did that."

Taehyung's hold on me almost became oppressive, and I squeaked, settling further into him. "We won't believe him, Faeryn; I promise."

"It's nice that you promised," I said quietly. "But I'm still scared that you will."

"That's okay." Hoseok's voice was lower, and anger laced his words. "We understand, but we still won't hurt you, and even if you can't believe that now, you will, so I want you to hold onto it; we'll never hurt you, and we won't believe him over you."

I trembled, my eyes fluttering close. "That's really nice."

Taehyung rubbed my back, clasping the back of my neck and offering a firm squeeze that melted me. "And it's true."

I couldn't stay awake for any longer, and I fell asleep in his arms, ruminating over his and Hoseok's promise.

Chapter 4: Care For Me

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When I entered the kitchen for breakfast on Saturday morning, I held my pillow to my chest, but not before changing into the loungewear Taehyung left for me. It was too big, but the elastic of the sweatpants allowed me to bunch them around my waist, and the long shirt was comfortable. The pillow lent me courage and comfort pressed securely into my chest—the stabilizing pressure causing the comfort to swell—and I was relieved when I realized only one person was around; Jimin.

He looked up from his phone, placing it down when he saw me and offering a smile. "Hey." Using his foot to pull out the chair beside him, he patted it. "How'd you sleep?"

I took the seat, offering a shy, tired smile in return. "Good."

"Good," he hummed. "Everyone usually sleeps late on the weekends, but I like to rise early; keep my schedule in tact for the weekdays. Seems like you do the same, hm?"

"Yeah." I hugged the pillow close. "I like mornings. They're..." Safe. "Quiet." Ryker slept through early mornings, but Ryker wasn't here. I swallowed roughly. "Do...do you like coffee?"

He glanced at his cup of coffee, offering a tilted smile. "I do." He quirked a brow. "Do you?"

"I like tea better," I admitted.

"That's right." His fingers tapped along the table as he scouted the kitchen. "Taehyung told me you collected tea cups."

I blinked. "He did?"

"Mm. He talks about you pretty often." He stood. "I'm pretty sure his tea bags are in the left cabinets."

My eyes widened when I realized, and I was quick to tell him, "I didn't—I mean, you don't have to make me tea. I was just saying that I liked it."

"I know." I heard his smile, instinctively relaxing a bit. "But I can't drink coffee without you drinking tea." He grabbed the kettle, filling it with water as he pursed his lips. "I'm pretty sure it's in the left cabinet, but..." He chuckled, his eyes flitting to mine. "We'll see, huh?"

My lips eased into a timid smile. "Yeah."

They were in the left cabinet, and after a pleased nod from him, he skillfully set to work. 

"How do you like your tea?" he wondered. "Honey? Sugar? Lemon?"

"Oh!" I sat up straighter, causing the pillow to sag slightly. "I like it with two spoonfuls of sugar and three teaspoons of lemon. The—the honey makes my throat sting."

"Well." He grabbed the sugar from another cabinet. "That's not very nice of the honey."

I giggled, watching an easy smile prompt his lips at the sound. "Yeah."

Once my tea was done, he poured it into a pretty cup that caused my eyes to fill with wonder. It was covered in painted strawberries, ones the bulged from the sides, and the handle was red and speckled with black seeds.

As soon as Jimin handed it to me, I gaped, giddily exclaiming, "I love it!"

He chuckled, returning to his seat beside me. "You haven't tried it yet."

"No, the—I meant the cup." I held it out to showcase it. Biting my lip as my eyes filled with excitement, I traced the handle, shivering from the sensations of the design. "It's so—I love it, it's so pretty, and the texture is so nice."

He tilted his head. "You like the texture?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, because see—" I pointed at the handle. "The seeds are bumpy, just like real seeds, and the rest of the handle is smooth." I beamed, trailing my fingers along the bumpy strawberries. "And the strawberries are like...3D, like real strawberries."

He chuckled. "Mhm."

I eagerly took a sip of the tea, my features brightening at the taste. "This is really good." I turned to him, smiling widely. "Thank you!"

He smiled back at me, pleased. "Yeah, of course. It's just some tea."

"I like just some tea." I took another sip, my legs swinging in my seat and my pillow now down on my lap.

He drank his coffee, looking at me over the rim of his cup, and his eyes smiled at me. "Good." Putting his cup down, he commented, "I can see why you collect tea cups." He gestured to my face. "They make you happy."

I nodded eagerly. "Yeah! They're so pretty, and the designs can be so intricate, but even the simpler ones are so fun. Like, I used to have one when I was younger from this show called Strawberry Shortcake, and it smelled like strawberries, so I would only have it with strawberry flavored tea. I loved it, because even though I'm sensitive to smells, that one was a safe smell, so I loved it even more."

"Safe smells?"

"Yeah," I chirped. "Smells that don't make my head hurt or make me feel weird."

"Ah." He hid a smile. "Of course. So, you always collected tea cups. What did your parents think about that?"

"They thought it was cute." My smile softened from the memory of them. "They...yeah. They were always so supportive of what I liked. For my seventh birthday, they had a tea-cup themed party with all the pastries I liked and assortment of teas."

"Did your friends like tea, too?"

I parted my lips to speak, faltering before saying in a quieter tone, "Well, I didn't have any friends, so it was just my parents and grandparents." Before I could succumb to embarrassment, I added, "But it was still a lot of fun. My parents and grandparents were the best."

His smile faded slightly. "They're not around anymore."

"No, they...no." I took a deep breath, holding the cup slighter for solace. "They died."

He breathed deeply. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"That's okay." My voice was higher-pitched than before. "When my parents died, I got to live with my grandparents before they died, and I'm glad I got to spend time with them before—" I inhaled sharply, taking a few gulps of tea. Lowering my cup slightly, I managed, "How about your family?"

"I still see them," he said, watching my fingers shake around my cup. "Although, they don't like teacups as much as you and your family."

I huffed out a broken laugh. "Maybe they just haven't found the right teacup."

"Maybe." He set his hand on the table, right next to my coaster. "I lost my grandparents a few years back. I know how tough that can be, but you're right; it was nice that you got to have time so closely to them before they passed."

"Yes," I said quietly. "It was."

"And wherever your parents were, I'm sure they found comfort in knowing you were cared for."

My throat tightened, and I nodded quickly.

He patted the table lightly before returning his hand back to his cup. "What kind of pastries were at your tea party? Which, I have to say, sounds like an incredible time."

My spirits lifted slightly, and I managed a warbled smile. "Cupcakes and cake without icing."

"Was the icing not safe?"

My smile grew a bit. "Yeah."

He hummed. "Icing can be a little finicky."

"Yeah." My throat started to open back up. "It gets stuck in my mouth like peanut butter, like a glob."

He pulled a funny face. "I don't like peanut butter."

I giggled. "Me neither."

"I'm glad we agree on that." He stood. "Well, we don't have any cupcakes or cake, but how does some toast sound? That's tea party friendly, right?"

"Lightly...toasted toast?"

He turned. "You don't like toast?"

"It hurts my teeth," I admitted, embarrassed.

"Then no toast." He opened the fridge. "What do you like for breakfast?"

"Do you have...seasoned rice?"

"Yeah, we have that." He brought out a container of left over rice. "I'll heat it up."

I settled into my chair, letting the tea warm my hands and stomach. "Thank you. I...I like tea and seasoned rice."

"Good."

The seasoned rice was much better than white, sticky rice, and after a few thank yous from me, I ate heartily with occasional sips of my tea. One hand was always on the handle, feeling around the texture and humming as I ate my food.

I paused, my chopsticks halfway to my lips when I caught Jimin's amused expression, his attention wholly mine.

He lifted a brow. "Enjoying yourself?"

I put a hand over my mouth so I wouldn't choke and forced myself to swallow. While my throat worked around my food, I nodded with pink cheeks.

His smile pulled through. "You really like that cup." He tilted his head toward it. "Do you want it?"

"No, I—that's okay." My eyes widened. "It's not mine."

"It could be," he mused. "That's why I offered. No one uses it," he added. "It's yours if you want it."

Hope filled me. "Are...I mean, are you sure? I don't want to take it if you don't mean it."

"I wouldn't offer something I didn't want to offer." He finished his coffee, standing to take it to the sink. "It's yours, Faeryn."

Giddy, I thanked him as I continued breakfast.

Once I finished, Jimin said I could join him in the living room to watch TV, and finding the idea relaxing, I plopped my pillow on the couch and hurried to use the bathroom first. When I returned, on my tip-toes to cross the floor, Jimin tilted his head from the his seat on the couch.

Lowering the TV's volume, he wondered, "Why are you tip-toeing?"

My brows furrowed in confusion before I lowered my gaze to my feet. "Oh." I tip-toed faster, climbing onto the couch and clutching the pillow to my chest. "It's because it's not a safe floor." I froze as soon as the words left me. "I mean, I'm not trying to say that your floor isn't safe—I'm sure it was built very sturdy—I just meant—"

"Like how certain smells aren't safe?"

I blinked. "Yeah, that's...yeah." My hold on the pillow loosened. "Like certain smells."

He traded his attention of the TV for me. "Why is our floor not safe?"

I turned a bright red. "It's...new."

"To you," he concluded. I nodded. "Hm. Okay. How long until it becomes a safe floor?"

"I don't know." I averted my eyes. "I don't keep track."

"Ah. So this happens a lot."

"There are lots of new floors," I told him, my eyes wide when they met his. "Really."

"I'm sure."

I began to respond before withering. "Are...are you making fun of me?"

His brows knitted together. "No, Faeryn, I'm not. It's different, sure, but I'm not making fun of you." He paused. "Teasing you, maybe. But not making fun of you."

"Oh." My gaze shifted.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "Sorry. Sometimes it's just—it's hard to tell when people are being serious or joking." I waved my hands in dismissal, as if it wasn't a bother. "Not a big deal."

"Not a big deal," he repeated. "Well." He resituated, folding his arms over his chest. "If I had a difficult time differentiating between jokes, I'm sure I'd be tired of it."

I peeked over at him. "Maybe...a little."

"What makes it easier for you to differentiate?" Pausing, he amended, "Does anything make it easier?"

"Oh." I sat up straighter. "Exaggerated facial expressions and tones, like...if someone's using sarcasm, they do it really obviously or say something so ridiculous that I know it's sarcasm."

"Ah. That makes sense." He considered briefly. "Is there a reason you have a difficult time differentiating?"

"Well, I...yeah." I stiffened, trying to shrug nonchalantly. "It's not a big deal."

"Okay." He cocked his head. "What's the reason?"

I twined my hands together. "I don't...Jimin?"

"You don't want to talk about it?"

"I just—I—" My voice swirled with confusion and memories. "I don't want you to laugh at me."

His forehead creased. "I won't laugh at you."

Slightly encouraged by his promise and the remembrance of how kindly Taehyung took to it, I revealed, "I have Autism."

His forehead remained creased. "Why would I laugh at you for having Autism?"

Memories of Ryker laughing and taking advantage of me shot through my head.

I swallowed. "I don't know."

"Okay," he returned slowly. Sitting up a bit, he said seriously, "I'm not going to laugh at you; don't be nervous about that."

I released a breath, easing further into the couch. "Okay."

He contemplated, momentarily divulging, "I don't know much about Autism."

"That's okay," I blurted. "Not a lot of people do."

He frowned. "That shouldn't be the case." Shifting closer to me, he wondered, "Could you tell me more about it?"

"Oh. Sure." I shifted so I was seated to face him, bringing my legs to a crisscross position. "It's different for everyone, though. Do...do you want to know about mine?"

"Tell me all about it."

An unfamiliar feeling blossomed in my stomach at the easy smile he wore, one laced with kindness, and I let it spread, enjoying the warmth it provided.

"Where...I mean, where should I start?" I half-whispered.

His lips tugged upward. "Anywhere you want." When I struggled, he wondered, "Why don't you tell me about the "safe" idea?"

I brightened at the idea, nodding and immediately beginning. "I have lots of safe things, like food, clothes, and textures. Sounds, too. If I don't like it, I'll..." I hesitated. "It sounds...childish, but I don't meant to do it. If I could stop it, I would."

"It's okay," he brushed away my worries with a smile. "Judgement free zone."

My smile wobbled. "Well...sometimes non-safe things, like being somewhere too loud will overwhelm me, so I won't be able to talk or...breakdown."

"Really?" His brows shot up. "You can't talk at all?"

"Sometimes I can talk a little," I explained with a wince. "But most times, I can't."

"Huh." He nodded slowly. "How long does that last?"

"It's not always the same time. It depends on how overwhelmed I am."

"That...makes sense." He pursed his lips. "And what about the breakdowns? What's that?"

"It's embarrassing." I waved my hand around. "Let's not talk about it."

"You sure? No judgement, I promise."

"Yeah, I—I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," he agreed good-naturedly. "Talk to me about something else; something that makes the non safe things feel more safe."

"Socks," I blurted. "For non-safe floors, and earplugs for when it's too loud."

"It's good that you found that out," he praised. "A little reprieve."

"My mom figured it out," I said with a small smile. "She always caught things like that."

"I'm glad she figured it out," he returned softly.

I dipped my chin. "Yeah."

"Do you want to tell me more? You don't have to."

I rubbed my wrist. "For me, I feel too much empathy. Some people with Autism have trouble with empathy."

"Is it difficult for you?"

"Sometimes," I agreed. "It's a lot of feeling, but...sometimes feeling too much is nice. Like, if the sun feels nice, I feel the niceness...a lot more. And I get really happy, all the way from my feet to my head, and it feels like I might burst." I braved eye contact for a moment before looking away. "I like when that happens."

"That does sound nice," he affirmed. "Is there anything else that makes you feel happiness like that?"

I perked up. "Teacups and—and my other special interests."

"Special interests?"

"Yeah," I confirmed quickly. Excitedly. "Things I really like."

He smiled at my excitement. "What are your special interests?"

"They change sometimes," I explained, "but teacups never change. I also really like collecting teddy bears, crochet, and dinosaurs."

"Dinosaurs?"

I beamed. "Yeah. I have an encyclopedia my dad gave me when I was little, and he always took me to museums to look at fossils. Isn't that cool?"

"Very cool." His smile remained; easy and warm. "What's your favorite dinosaur?"

"The Monolophosaurus," I exclaimed, my stomach swooping with eagerness. "It's name that because of the single crest on top of its skull, and did—well, did you know where it's from is now actually in Xinjiang, China?" I shifted closer to him. "Isn't that cool?"

"Wow." He jutted his chin out, impressed. "That is very cool."

I beamed. "Yeah, I—I know. It's the best dinosaur, aside from the T-rex, which I think is really cool because scientists think it actually didn't roar like it does in the movies; it actually makes a clicking sound, and although there's no proof, some scientists think it would've had feathers.

"Feathers?" He laughed. "That wouldn't have made such a scary Jurassic Park movie, huh?"

"Yeah," I giggled. "That's probably why they left it out. But don't you think the clicking would've been cool for a horror dinosaur movie?"

"I think all dinosaur movies are horror," he teased. "But I think it would be scarier, yeah. Especially in real life."

"I know," I gushed. "It would be ten times scarier."

"And this makes you happy? Feathers and scary clicking sounds?" The teasing tone he used resonated with me, and I giggled, nodding my agreement.

"Good," he said decidedly. "If you feel sadness as much as happiness, you should feel happiness to the full extent. That's what life is for, anyway. Feeling as much as you can."

I faltered, my heart tugging in its confines. "Yeah, it's...yeah. That's true."

His voice lowered. "Whoever laughed at you doesn't understand that. Don't let them get to you, all right? Whoever they are, they can fuck off, yeah?"

Sitting so close to Jimin after he validated my interests and didn't laugh at me made feel brave enough to breathe out, "Yeah."

"Well..." He shifted back toward the TV. "I don't know about you, but when I was browsing Netflix the other day, I saw this dinosaur TV show..."

My eyes lit up. "Camp Cretaceous?"

"Mm." He didn't do a good job of hiding his smile. "That's the one." Pointing the remote to the TV, he wondered, "Do you think you'd like to watch it with me?"

I preened, easing my pillow along with me as I scooted closer to him. "Yes, please."

"Then that's what we'll do." He glanced at me in sudden thought. "If bad textures make you feel bad, do good textures make you feel good?"

I nodded rapidly.

"In that case"—he stood—"do you want your cup? There's no more tea in it, but do you want to—"

"Hold it," I breathed out, my eyes wide as I looked up at him. "Yes, please."

His smile pulled through, and with a chuckle, he went to retrieve it for me.

"Thank you, thank you," I said headily when he returned with the cup and sat beside me.

"Yeah, of course." He turned the first episode of the show, and I settled closer to him, running my fingers over the strawberries on the cup. When he turned to look at me, I beamed, giving him the biggest smile I could. The sight drew a smile of his own, and he nudged my cheek with the side of his knuckles. "Thanks for talking with me."

"Thanks for—for talking with me," I said quickly, melting into his quick touch. I was starting to believe that everyone who befriended Taehyung was just as nice as him.

꧁꧂

 

An hour or so later, everyone else began to trickle downstairs, and instead of eating in the kitchen, they drifted toward the living room with Jimin and me.

I was red in the face, clutching the pillow to my chin and averting eye contact as I hoped they wouldn't ask why we were watching a cartoon about dinosaurs, but everyone seemed too half-asleep to comment, yawning around spoonfuls of food and sips of coffee.

It was only thirty minutes into breakfast that Yoongi spoke up, and startled, I peeked over at him, switching my attention from the TV to him. "What is that?"

I glanced at the TV, staring at the the dinosaur nuzzling against the character, Ben. "Oh," I piped up, my words muffled in the pillow. "She's bumpy; a baby Ankylosaurus."

He rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes, glancing over at me. "Thanks."

I beamed, hiding my face once more.

Ten minutes later, Taehyung exhaled tightly. "I can't believe they showed that dinosaur eating the guy."

Jungkook grunted from his spot on the floor, curled up next to Namjoon's legs. "He deserved it."

"Jungkook has a point." Hoseok leisurely sipped his coffee. "He left those kids behind."

"Well, yeah." Taehyung released a breath. "But wow. I was not expecting that."

"Do you like it?" I braved the question timidly. "The...the show?"

He looked at me from his seat beside me, him and Jimin keeping me between them. "Hey." He rubbed my arm up and down once. "Was this your idea?" He shook his head, his eyes lifting back to the TV. "This is too much adrenaline for this early in the morning."

I giggled, taking my pillow with me as I hugged him. He grinned, encircling his arms around me and patting my back. "So it was your idea."

I shrugged giddily.

Jimin chuckled. "It's entertaining, especially when she knows every dinosaur that comes on screen."

"Ohhh, like...what was the character's name?" Taehyung's features scrunched as he thought. "Darius?"

I nodded eagerly.

He puffed his chest out with pride. "I'm pretty smart, huh?"

I nuzzled against him, settling my pillow near his thigh and curling against it, preening when he passed his hand through my hair.

"It's entertaining," Jin commented from beside Namjoon. "Animation is often overlooked simply because it's animated."

"I know," I exclaimed, perhaps too loudly as everyone's eyes drifted to mine. With wide eyes, I added in a quieter voice, "I mean, I know."

"No, it's fine." Jimin chuckled. "Be passionate about it; I know Jin is with all the animation and games he's into."

I peeked over at Jin. "Really? What...what games and animation do you watch?"

"Many." He laced his arms behind his head, his thighs slightly parted as he settled against the couch. My cheeks heated at the sight. "Animation has no bounds, but people see it put it in a box."

I bit my tongue so I wouldn't be as loud as before, opting for another nod instead.

The muscles in his arms rippled as he looked over at me. "Do you enjoy a variety?"

"Yes," I squeaked.

He lowered his chin, his full attention suddenly mine. It was dizzying. "Favorites?"

"This—this show," I managed. "And the sequel—"

"There's a sequel?" Hoseok whistled lowly. "Taehyung, prepare your feeble heart."

I cracked a grin at Taehyung's response of, "I won't be able to properly prepare for any of this."

Jin prompted, "Do you enjoy games?"

Shifting my eyes back to his, I swallowed as I struggled to think with his dark eyes on mine. Eventually, I managed to blurt, "'Night in the Woods' and 'Detroit: Become Human'."

"'Night in the Woods'." He began to bounce his thigh every so often, and my breath caught in my throat. "Is it similar to 'Detroit: Become Human'?"

"No," I croaked. "Not really. It's a—a cozy game like Animal Crossing but with more talking and trauma."

Jin nodded slowly. "I see."

"Yeah," I squeaked, struggling to return my attention to the show.

A few episodes later, Jin stood, his arms behind his head as he stretched. I blushed when his shirt rose up to showcase his defined stomach, inching closer to Taehyung and pushing my cheek further into the pillow.

"If we want to go," he began, easily earning everyone's attention, "we need to leave now."

Hoseok squinted at the clock. "Yeah, before it's too busy."

Confused, I glance up at Taehyung. "Where are you going?"

"The mall," he revealed cheerfully. "You and me are staying here, though."

I scrunched my nose. "You...you don't want to go shopping, too?"

"I'm going to stay with you."

"Yeah, but did you want to go shopping?"

"I can go shopping another time," he responded.

I frowned. "I can go shopping so you don't have to stay here."

"No, really, I don't mind," he insisted. "A slow Saturday sounds nice."

"But"—I lifted myself to view him with furrowed brows—"you would go if I wasn't here."

"Faeryn." He brushed the strands of hair that had strewn across my face when I sat. "I don't mind."

I stared at him with determination before nodding. "I want to go."

He lifted a brow. "Shopping?"

"Yeah, I—" I stood, pushing onto my tip-toes. "I want to go."

He looked up at him. "No lazy Saturday?"

"No." I reached for him, and with a lop-sided smile, he took my hand. Once he was standing, I looped my arm with his. "Get ready?"

He grinned, gently scratching my scalp. "Get ready."

꧁꧂

 

We all boarded Jin's car, the largest and roomiest car out of all of them. He put the AC on low, and as we drove, I watched the scenery pass, slightly self-conscious of the work clothes I adorned, but feeling better knowing I would buy a new set of clothes soon; pajamas, like Namjoon suggested, and new lounge clothes to wear when I wasn't in pajamas.

Nodding to my inward plan, I tapped my fingers against my lips. From beside me, Taehyung's shoulder brushed mine, and I turned to catch his eyes. His cheeks flushing slightly, he showed a half-smile.

"Hey," he whispered while music played on the car radio. "Why are you nodding?"

I blushed. "Just...planning."

"Planning what?"

I tugged at my current blouse. "What clothes I'll get; pajamas and lounge wear, but just one of each so I can save up for my apartment."

"Good idea." He flashed a smile. "What color will you get? Yellow?"

I nudged his shoulder as a giddy smile rose to the surface. "Maybe."

At the mall, each of them wore caps and masks to disguise themselves, planning to disperse into smaller groups. I stayed with Taehyung and Hoseok since they were shopping for clothes, too, and together, we went to Taehyung's favorite shop. There as a female area, and I drifted toward it while the bass from the overheard music rumbled through my body.

I hovered near the men's clothing area while I shopped, glancing over every odd second to ensure Hoseok and Taehyung were still there—and to ensure Ryker wasn't around.

Pushing through clothes on a rack, I gnawed on my lips as I searched, distracted by the music and thoughts of Ryker making a sudden appearance and dragging me back to our apartment.

Swallowing hard, I bristled, neglecting the clothes rack and shuffling over to Hoseok and Taehyung. Hoseok saw me first, Taehyung too absolved in deciding between an orange and yellow hoodie.

"Hey." Hoseok tilted his head. "Didn't find anything you like?"

I inched closer to him, glancing around as I did. "No."

"We can look in more shops after this." He steadied my shoulder when I bumped into him, angling his face to look into mine. "Okay?"

"Okay." I shifted to his side, inching closer to Taehyung. Looking around in the process, I didn't realize I'd bumped into him until he dropped one of the hoodies in surprise. Wide-eyed, I blurted apologies, moving back only to bump into Hoseok.

"It's fine," Hoseok soothed, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Just an accident."

"Okay," I breathed out, watching Taehyung smile reassuringly as he dusted off the orange hoodie.

He slipped it back on the right. "I wanted the yellow one anyway."

"I'm sorry," I made sure he knew, settling a bit with Hoseok's proximity. "I didn't mean to."

"That's okay," he reiterated Hoseok's words. "Just an accident." He held out the hoodie. "What do you think? Good?"

I managed a smile, easing closer to Hoseok when he began massaging my shoulders. "Yeah, I—I like it."

"Good." He showed a thumbs up. "Then all I need next from here are some jeans."

"I'll—okay. I'll come with you, right?"

"Of course!" He squeezed my shoulder as Hoseok moved onto rubbing circles in my back. "Come on."

I walked between him and Hoseok, the latter's hand guiding me with a firm, reassuring hand on my back. While Taehyung browsed through jeans, Hoseok worked his hands around my shoulders and neck in a massage. After a while of this, he dipped his mouth down to my ear. "Everything okay?"

I jolted a bit, relaxing again when he pressed his thumb in circles in the back of my neck. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" With his other hand, he patted my lower back lightly. "You're tense."

"Sorry, I'm—" I mewled, easing closer to him as his hands urged deeper into my skin, rolling out a knot in my neck.

"That feel nice?" He continued with the same amount of pressure, working on the area intently. "You've got a knot right here."

"Yeah." My eyes fluttered. "Feels nice."

"I'll get it out for you," he murmured. "Just relax."

It was easy to listen to him; easy to fall into the comfort he was providing while Taehyung thought aloud of what jeans he should choose.

It didn't take Hoseok too much time at all, and soon, he loosened the knot and smoothed it away, leaving my shoulders slumped with relief.

"There." He offered my shoulders a final squeeze before releasing me. "Better?"

"Better." I turned slightly to face him, relaxed enough to smile. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it." He brushed my hair off my shoulder, returning my smile. "How about you and I go take a look at some clothes while Taehyung decides which jeans he wants?"

"Without...Taehyung?" I peeked over at him, too distracted with his clothing options to catch my eye. It was endearing, watching him mumble to himself as he mulled over possible jean choices.

"Taehyung," Hoseok prompted.

"Uh, yeah, Hyung?" He scrutinized the threading along a belt loop. "Kind of busy."

"Faeryn and I are going to take a look at some clothing options for her."

"You are?" Taehyung looked at us then, training his eyes on me. "Okay." Brightening, he added, "Pick something that would be a nice crochet outfit."

I giggled. "Okay."

He waved at us until we were out of sight, and my attention returned to choosing clothing.

"What clothes are you looking for?" Hoseok inquired.

"Pajamas," I revealed. "Like Namjoon said, and then loungewear that can be a good crochet outfit."

"Are those options you'd like?"

"Yeah," I agreed, confused. "Namjoon made a good point, and so did Taehyung."

"Do you have any good points?" He angled his face to catch my eye, smiling a bit. "Is there anything you would like?"

"Oh. Well, I...I wanted those because—"

"Because someone else suggested it," he concluded.

"I think they're good suggestions."

"They are."

I twisted my lips to the side. "I...I want pajamas because I need pajamas, and loungewear can be good crochet wear. That's a good idea, right?"

"It is, and you know, getting something you don't need but like is a good idea, too."

I looked up at him, confused. "Like what?"

"Anything you like, not just something you need."

"But I'm saving up for an apartment," I countered, my brows furrowed. "I can't spend money unless I have to."

"Not everything you like is expensive, is it?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then grab something you like." His thumb caressed the side of my face, and I blinked at the surprising show of affection. "In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter when you're getting an apartment."

I chewed on my lip, my eyes trained on his mouth while he spoke. "Well, I...I did see something."

"Yeah?" When I nodded, he gently nudged me forward. "Show me."

Flustered, I led him to the rack, pulling out a graphic T-shirt. Nervously, I held it up. "See?"

He tilted his head. "Do you like it?"

I nodded, tugging my lips between my lips. "Do you?"

"Irrelevant." He tapped my chin. "Careful with your lip." I released it immediately, watching him tap the shirt. "What matters is what you like, but yes." His lips quirked. "I like it."

I beamed. "I want it."

"Then get it."

"Okay," I chirped. Slinging it over my arm, I reached for his hand, hesitating at the action. "Is it—I mean—is it okay if I—"

He held his hand out, palm up, and I took it, content as I tugged him along with me.

By the time I'd finished and Hoseok had browsed for himself, Taehyung completed his purchase, all dimpled smiles as he approached us.

"Hey," he greeted. "How'd the shopping go on your side?" He held up his bag. "Mine went great! Faeryn, I think you're going to like a few of the colors I chose." In a hushed whisper, he held a hand over his mouth. "They're yellow."

I giggled, patting my bag. "Me too."

He grinned. "Where to next? Jungkook texted that he and Namjoon are at the food court."

"We could meet up with them," Hoseok suggested. "How does that sound, Faeryn? Hungry?"

"A little," I agreed, still clutching his hand.

"Oh, you'll love the snacks they have here," Taehyung gushed as we walked through the mall. "They also have Chinese food here—just what you like!"

I beamed. "That's really cool!"

"Mhm!" He swung his bags as we kept walking, halting when he saw Jungkook and Namjoon. "Come on—I see them!"

Once we joined them at their table and Taehyung excitedly showed Jungkook his items, Namjoon revealed, "We were thinking of something sugary."

"Churros," Jungkook said in an undertone, messing with his hair absently.

"Churros?" Namjoon prompted, peering into Jungkook's averted face. "Hm?"

Jungkook nodded, his shoulders relaxing when Namjoon rubbed his back.

"Churros, then," Namjoon decided. "For us, at least." He looked to the three of us. "Have you all decided?"

"I'll have whatever Faeryn's having," Taehyung chirped, lowering his bag to the floor.

Everyone's eyes shot to mine, and I looked at a certain spot at the table as my cheeks burned. "Oh, I—I want chicken and broccoli with the—with brown sauce."

Namjoon raised a brow. "You had that the other day."

"Yes," I squeaked. "I just—I like it."

"Namjoon has to wait a week or so before having the same food again," Taehyung teased. "He physically can't do it; I think he's weak."

"Ha," Namjoon returned drily.

"Then I'll get chicken and broccoli with brown sauce," Taehyung announced, standing and offering his hand to me. "Come on; we can go grab some."

Hoseok stood, and instinctively, I took hold of his hand too, especially when a table nearby increased in volume—their laughter and shrill voices meeting a crescendo.

As we walked, I asked Hoseok, "What are you getting?"

"A soup, maybe." His thumb peeked over our hands to caress the top of mine. "We'll see."

In line to order, I held Taehyung and Hoseok's hands tightly, squinting as the bright lights from the hanging sign came into view.

The loud bustle of workers calling out orders and instructions and chatting people in line made my head spin, and I blinked rapidly, struggling to ground myself.

"Hi," Taehyung greeted cheerfully once it was our turn. "Can I get two servings of—"

I tuned him out, unable to focus as dozens of separate conversations vied for my attention. It felt like I was floating, the bright lights and loud volume sending me outside of my body as my ears rang.

Everything was closing in, and vibrated as panic set in. It was too loud and bright—I couldn't hear myself take a deep breath, therefore, I couldn't remember how to.

I didn't have my Loop earplugs, I knew that when coming here, but Taehyung had wanted to go, and I thought maybe I could handle it, but the food court was intense, and I—

I squeezed my eyes shut, dropping Taehyung and Hoseok's hands to cover my ears. The lights and sounds became muffled, and with my ears pressed against my head, I could hear my heartbeat. With a stammering breath, I tried to copy it, forcing my chest to rise and fall steadily.

Someone squeezed my shoulder, and startled, I tuned back in, opening my eyes but still covering my ears. Taehyung and Hoseok were peering into my face, concern written into their features, and my heart pounded faster at the sight. I didn't want to worry them—they were so kind to me, letting me come with them to the mall, and I was ruining it—

I tried to explain, but all that came out were stammered, incoherent words. Overwhelmed, my hands began to leave my ears only to return, creating a weird sense of hearing. First silence, then noise. Repeat. The repetition worked to ground me, and with a pained whimper, I continued, unable to explain why to Taehyung and Hoseok, but the former seemed to understand, finger signing, "Earplugs?"

I nodded rapidly, my eyes fluttering at the thought of possible relief.

"What is it?" Hoseok asked him, worry laced in his words. "What did you say?"

"Earplugs," Taehyung said quickly, rummaging around in his pocket. "I—shit, I left my earphones in the car."

"Earplugs?" Hoseok patted my shoulder quickly. "This is a mall—we can find earplugs in here."

"Yes," Taehyung breathed out. "Okay, I—okay, I'm going to go buy some."

I shook my head, not wanting him to spend his money on me, but he refuted the action, saying, "You can pay me back later if you want, but I'm getting you earplugs now." To Hoseok, "The food should be out soon, but just—stay with her."

Hoseok carefully navigated me to the side as we waited for our food, rubbing my back in an attempt to comfort me, but with everything so heightened, touch only made me feel worse, and I arched my back to withdraw his touch. He removed his hand immediately, his brows knitted together as he watched me continually cover my ears.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, his words muffled.

I shook my head sorrily, shuffling from foot to foot.

"Okay," he reassured. "That's okay. Taehyung will be right back with the earplugs, okay?"

I nodded, unsure what else to do, and true to his word, Taehyung was back in five minutes with a small bag. Pulling earplugs out of it, he said breathlessly, "I got them."

I tentatively removed my hands from my ears before accepting the earplugs, hastily placing them in my ears. Everything became muffled, and I blinked rapidly, trying to avoid the bright lights as I adjusted.

Hoseok tracked the movement quickly, asking, "Do your eyes hurt?"

Unsure how to respond, I shrugged helplessly.

"Is it the lights?" Taehyung tried. "Maybe if sounds are too loud, the lights are too bright?"

Relief of his understanding flooded through me, and when I nodded, Hoseok pulled sunglasses out of his pocket, using the bottom of his shirt to quickly clean them.

Lowering himself to my height, he carefully placed them on my face, his worried expression taking me in. "How's that?"

Everything was muffled, sounds and lights had dimmed, and my shoulders slumped as my body worked hard to regulate.

"For Kim!" a worker called. Taehyung jumped slightly, telling me he would be right back as he hurried over to claim our food.

Back at my side, he asked, "Do you still want to eat? Will that make you feel better?"

I managed a nod.

"Okay, that's—that's great." He gestured to the table encouragingly. "We can go sit down."

He and Hoseok kept them between me, and once at the table, Namjoon wondered, "Was there a long line?"

"Uh...yes." Taehyung sat once he was sure I was comfortable, Hoseok taking the seat beside me. "But we have our food now."

Jungkook was already half way done with his churro, his eyes on mine as he nibbled it.

I looked away, signing a thanks to Taehyung when he open my container of food and handed me chopsticks.

"Of course," he responded sincerely, waiting until I took my first bite to start on his serving.

Quietly, Jungkook told Namjoon, "I thought she could talk."

Namjoon patted his thigh. "Let's be polite."

Jungkook sagged in his seat, his gaze turning cautious as it met mine. His lips parted as if he was going to speak, but he thought it against it as he fell silent, and a light red dusted his cheeks.

"You don't talk all the time," Taehyung pointed out. "Faeryn just uses sign language instead of ignoring us like you do."

Jungkook mumbled incoherently into his next bite of food.

"Hey," Namjoon said lightly. "He's working on it."

"I know," Taehyung agreed around a mouthful of rice. "I'm just making a point."

"Point made."

When Jungkook finished his churro, Namjoon relinquished his serving, earning a satisfied, quiet sigh from the former.

"Hey." Surprised, I turned, relaxing when I saw who it was; Jimin and Jin.

Jin adorned a new sweatshirt, one that clung to his chest, and I blinked furiously, struggling to look away.

"Nice shirt," Namjoon approved.

Jin pulled up a seat beside Jungkook, allowing the latter to pat his chest in appreciation. Jin only nudged his hand away when he noticed the crumbs, grasping Jungkook's chin as he questioned, "What are you eating?"

Through a mouthful of food, Jungkook managed, "Churros."

"Good?"

Jungkook nodded, settling closer to him when Jin ruffled his hair. To the rest of us, Jin inquired, "It's early for Chinese food."

"Don't hate until you try it," was Taehyung's sing-song reply. "Chinese food is good at any time of day."

Jin's eyes settled on me. "Your glasses." He dipped his chin. "Very nice."

I blushed, stammering incoherently before resorting to signing it.

I was surprised when his low voice returned to respond, "You're welcome."

I shivered.

"Where is everyone heading next?" Jimin asked. "I'm looking for new shoes."

Shoes. Socks.

I pointed to myself, nodding quickly.

Jimin caught the movement, tilting his head in question. "You're in the market for some new shoes?"

I hesitated, shaking my head.

I rubbed my two index fingers together, deflating when he only watched in confusion. Turning to Taehyung, I finger-signed, and he relayed, "Socks."

Everyone looked at me.

I sunk further into my seat.

"Socks are a great idea," Jimin cut through the silence. "Do you want to come with me to the shoe store?"

I showed a thumbs-up.

He chuckled. "Good. Let me grab something to eat, and once you're finished, we'll go."

I looked to Taehyung questioningly as Jimin left for food. "Okay?" I signed.

"Yeah, of course." He read my question easily. "You can go with him; I have Hoseok to keep me company."

I hugged his arm, nuzzling against it before pulling away.

Hoseok commented absently, "Maybe we could find wherever Yoongi is on his solo shopping."

Taehyung snorted. "Doubt it."

"If we do," Hoseok countered. "You owe me a drink."

Taehyung grinned. "Deal."

When Jimin and I finished eating, we headed off after relaying our goodbyes to the others. Clutching my bag as if it were Taehyung or Hoseok's hand, I followed after Jimin. He slowed down after realizing I couldn't keep up with his long strides.

He smiled down at me. "How's shopping so far?"

I showed a thumbs-up.

"Good." He looked ahead. "I think you'll like this shoe shop; they have a whole area dedicated to socks."

I beamed.

 

Chapter 5: A Night On The Street

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

After our shopping trip ended, I felt more prone to words, and in the car, they returned when Taehyung asked me to show him my socks.

He beamed at my verbal response but didn't speak on it, instead fawning over the options I chose and voicing his praise for the color scheme. I was bursting with pride at such a simple choice, smiling and bouncing slightly—barely noticeable—in my seat.

Back at their house, Taehyung grinned when he saw a package out front. "It's the crochet kit and earplugs!" he told me, nudging my shoulder as he hurried to the door. Opening it and grabbing the package, he motioned me to follow inside. "Come on!"

Hurrying after him, I was a giggling mess at his contagious excitement as he carefully opened the box, stating, "I don't want to rip anything important!"

He pulled out the earplugs first, relinquishing mine to me as he opened his. Sticking them in his ears, he motioned to me. "Say something."

I giggled. "Hi."

His mouth formed an 'O'. "I can barely hear anything."

Once I put mine in, relief swept over me like a long-lost friend, and I hugged my elbows to my side, breathing deeply.

He noted the change in my features, and his tone softened. "Better?"

I nodded, my smile turning relaxed. "Better."

"Good, because I can't do this"—he pulled out the crochet kit—"alone."

I nearly squealed, pushing onto my tiptoes as I clapped my hands repeatedly. "Can we do it now?"

"Yes!" He put the empty box near the trash, hurrying back to me. "Let's change into something more comfortable."

I tip-toed as quickly as I could to the guest room to change, staring at my loungewear and graphic, dinosaur T-shirt. Hesitating, I remembered Hoseok's words from earlier; choose what you like.

I chose the graphic T-shirt and headed back downstairs with my earplugs and socks.

Taehyung was waiting for me on the couch in his loungewear, and when he saw me, his features broke into a grin. "Oh, that is so badass."

Relief hit me as my smile grew. "Really?" I tugged at the bottom of my shirt. "You like it?"

"I love it!" He patted the seat beside him. "You should crochet a dinosaur to match your shirt."

Giddy, I nodded quickly. "Okay!"

After teaching Taehyung how to turn his work and make a few rows, I began following a free dinosaur pattern online.

Taehyung kept stopping to gawk at my work, jumping up halfway through it to wonder if I watched Camp Cretaceous while I crocheted, and when I happily agreed, he turned it on and returned to his crocheting.

"Oh my gosh," he breathed out, his eyes zeroed in on my work. "Its arms are so tiny. Don't your hands hurt?"

"I'm used to it," I told him laughingly. "But I do like using bigger crochet hooks. It's just that this pattern calls for a smaller hook."

He peered over my shoulder at the pattern he let me pull up on his computer. "How do you read this? It's like another language. What's...dec mean?"

"Decrease."

He gaped. "I'm going to be bilingual."

"Trilingual," I pointed out with a giggle. "Once you learn sign language."

He grinned. "You're right."

"Hey," Namjoon announced himself with his hands in his pockets. "What's going on here?"

Taehyung turned, squinting at him. "Uh...what did you say?"

Namjoon quirked a brow. "I asked what was going on here?"

Taehyung turned to me, wide-eyed. "Did you hear him?" He tapped his earplugs. "I can't hear him from so far away."

I nudged his shoulder playfully, turning to Namjoon to relay, "We're crocheting."

"With earplugs," Namjoon noted.

"Oh." I blushed. "Yeah, we—yeah. We ordered them."

"What use are earplugs when you crochet?" He glanced at the TV. "Can you hear it?"

"A little," I said, quieter than before. "But that's why—well, that's why the captions are on."

"Can you not raise it or remove the earplugs?"

"Well, I...I put the captions on so I don't have to raise it or take the earplugs out."

He tilted his head. "Right..." He jutted his chin out toward Taehyung. "Why does he need earplugs?"

I tugged Taehyung's shirt, feeling slightly intimidated by the onslaught of Namjoon's questions, and he understood, taking one earplug out.

"What did you say?" he asked.

Namjoon loosed a chuckle. "What are the earplugs for? I feel like I entered a ritual."

"A ritual?" Taehyung scoffed. "Because of our fantastic set-up?" He put a hand over his heart. "You wound us." His shoulder brushed mine. "Right, Faeryn?"

I managed a warbled, "Right."

Namjoon took us in for a moment before an amused smile settled on his features. "Well. Don't let me interrupt your ritualistic TV and crochet time."

"We won't," Taehyung returned cheerily, shooting me a smile before popping his earplug in and returning to crocheting.

Namjoon left for the kitchen, but not before studying my features for a moment too long.

I released a breath of relief, returning to minimal/easy speech with Taehyung while I glanced at the TV to follow along with the plot I'd already seen multiple times before.

I finished my crochet dinosaur in under two hours, and Taehyung completed around twenty rows of single crochet. The last few were incredibly neat, and I praised him excitedly as he did the same for my dinosaur.

"You could make amigurumi really soon," I told him giddily. "You just have to know single-crochets for that. Well, and how to fasten off and sew, but that's super easy!"

"What's...amigurumi?"

"Stuffed animals!"

"Oh!" His features brightened. "For my Pokémon army!"

"Yes!" I cheered, both of us giddy as we cleaned up the crochet kit.

We decided to have a snack, and after my first sip of a protein shake, I wondered, "Did you and Hoseok find Yoongi?"

"We did." He took a bite of his sandwich. "But we left him alone after seeing what he was up to; he likes his alone time, and shopping isn't his favorite, so if he can get it done quickly with no distractions, he will."

I nodded understandingly. "That makes sense."

Taehyung sighed. "I had to buy Hoseok a drink."

I giggled. "You'll win the next deal you make."

He wiggled his brows playfully. "That's the plan."

Sunday was peaceful; most of it was spent lounging in the living area and crocheting with Taehyung. The others were strewn across the house, and when I was heading up to the guest room to sleep, I heard familiar sounds from behind a certain door. Pausing, my eyes lit up when I recognized the gameplay; Resident Evil.

Before I could stop myself, I knocked on the door. I regretted it as soon as I had, realizing the only one of them who verbally spoke about playing games, and I took multiple steps back, preparing to bolt. It was wrong to knock—I didn't know any of them well enough for that, but the comforting sound of one of my favorite games was enough to muddle my thoughts, and—

Jin opened the door, his tall frame towering over mine, and I sunk beneath in, showing a timid wave.

"Hi," I peeped.

He raised a dark brow. "Are you lost?"

"No, I—no," I stammered, wringing my hands. "I know where I live. I mean, where I sleep. In—I sleep in the guest room; I don't live in there."

He regarded my movements and rapid speech. "Are you at the wrong door?"

"Oh! I—well, no, I—" I cleared my throat, struggling to continue. "I heard the gameplay, and it's—well, it's Resident Evil 4, right? The remake?" Pushing forward, I managed to conclude, "It's my favorite version, and I heard it, but I wasn't thinking; I shouldn't have interrupted you. I know how the zombies—well, infected—will sneak up on you."

"Yes," he said eventually, his low voice swarming around me. "They do."

"Right! That's—that's all I wanted to say." I stepped back. "I'm going to go now."

Before he could respond, I raced down the halls to the guest room, closing the door and slumping on the bed in defeat.

My cheeks were hot with embarrassment, and all I could think about was Jin; how intimidating and intriguing he was, and how well his new sweatshirt fit him.

I pushed my face into the pillow and tried to remember how to take deep breaths.

꧁꧂

 

On Monday, I greeted Lyric with the best hug I could manage, breathing in her familiar smell.

Her teasing tone settled into the air. "Miss me?"

"Yes." I squeezed her tighter. Pulling away, I beamed up at her. "Did you have fun on your vacation?"

"The best time." She groaned, guiding me to one of the food tables in the break room. Pushing a protein shake into my hand, she continued, "I kissed guys and girls—the likes, really—and drank so much I could vomit, but I didn't." She winked at me. "Because I'm chic."

I giggled. "Okay."

"How about you?" She bumped her hip with mine. "Crochet anything fun?"

"A dinosaur," I revealed as she filled a plate for herself. "With Taehyung, actually. I've—well, I've been staying with him."

Her chopsticks froze over her plate, and her head turned toward me at an eerily slow rate.

"Sorry, I think I still have beach water in my ears." She smiled. "What did you say?"

"Oh, I—just that I've been staying with Taehyung."

"Okay." She slowly lowered her chopsticks into the next pot, bringing some noodles onto her plate. "That's what I thought you said." Putting her plate down, she grabbed my elbow. "Do you have to use the bathroom? I have to use the bathroom."

"Well, no, I just—"

She tugged me to the bathroom, earning a yelp from me as I hurried to keep up. Pushing me into the bathroom space, she closed the door behind us, making sure to lock it.

"This is—Lyric, this is the area for mothers and people who use wheelchairs." I blinked up at her. "Maybe we shouldn't—"

"You're staying with Taehyung from BTS?" she screeched.

I covered my ears, my eyes widening at the sudden volume. Jolting, I pushed myself to nod. "Yeah, I—I told you I was."

"Are you in love with him?" She shook my shoulders. "Fae, you could lose your job if you break up; this is a messy situation."

I turned red, shaking my head quickly. "No, I—no, I'm not. I just—I didn't have anywhere else to go, so he and his friends let me stay."

"Friends?" She gaped. "You mean, the rest of BTS?" She tilted her head back and let out a singular shout. "I can't believe this. I was gone fucking and being fucked whilst you were getting familiar with BTS?"

"Familiar?" I asked tentatively. "What are you—"

Returning her eyes to me, she shook me again. "Faeryn, are you in love with all of them? I didn't peg you for the type, but hey, if it's what you like—"

"No," I sputtered. "They just—they gave me a place to stay."

"You're not in love with them?" Thoughts whirred behind her eyes. "So, you're fucking them, then."

My cheeks burned at the thought, several images flitting through my mind, and I put my hands up in denial, waving them around quickly. "No!"

She narrowed her eyes. "But you want to."

"No!"

"I saw the way you hesitated." She pointed at me. "You were thinking about it."

"Because you brought it up!" I insisted, overwhelmed. "And I'm not staying with them forever. I was supposed to talk to you about it today at lunch, but you—"

"Talk to me about what?" She peered into my face. "About fucking BTS?"

"No," I protested, shaking my hands out in sheer panic at the multiple sexual images flooding my mind. "Stop—stop saying that."

She sighed. "Look, Fae. If you want seven men, then there are several doctor's appointments you need to book ASAP. If you're not looking to get pregnant, then—"

"Lyric!" My shout echoed in the bathroom stall, surprising us both. "Stop."

She put her hands up in surrender, taking a step back to give me my space. "I'm sorry. I just—shit." She ran a hand through her hair. "I got a little carried away." Pursing her lips, she watched me catch my breath. "So...no sex then?"

"No," I said breathlessly. "They've been so nice to me, and they said I could stay with them until I talked to you."

"Uh...yeah." She scratched the back of her neck. "So, look. I'm not really into that many men at once, so you can tell them I said thanks for the invite, but no thanks."

My lower lip turned out, and my chest heaved.

She put her hands back up. "Okay, all right. That's not what you wanted to talk to me about?"

I shook my head.

"Okay," she said slowly. "Then what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I..." I took a deep breath to steady myself, but it was more of a strained gasp. "I don't have anywhere to stay, and they were wondering if maybe I could stay with you?" Before she could respond, I added hurriedly, "I would pay rent and clean up after myself, I promise. You wouldn't even know I was there."

She frowned, her forehead creasing apologetically. "Shit, Fae. What happened while I was gone?"

I breathed heavily. "I...I can't go back to where I was staying, and I don't want to talk about it, please."

"Well, okay, I get that, but how are you going to get proper help if you don't talk about it?"

"Please," I pressed, strained. "I don't want to talk about it."

She tapped her chin, rubbing her face as she mulled this over. "Maybe you—" She cut herself off, groaning with realization. "Oh, fuck. The lease says I can only have one roommate, and I already have one. I mean, maybe we could get away with breaking the rules, but my roommate is kind of a bitch, so I think she would rat us out."

"Oh."

"Can't you afford another apartment?" she pressed. "We could be neighbors; there's a few spaces open."

"No," I whispered as everything fell apart. "I—I can't."

"I'm sorry." She looked pained. "Won't they let you stay with them? BTS? I mean, at least until you save up."

"Jin said I could stay until you came back." I felt sick. "I'm—I have to go."

"Fae, wait." She walked after me as I left the stall, everything spinning. "We can figure this out; there has to be some way to get your apartment back. If you tell me the details, I'm sure I can help."

"No, no, no," I kept repeating. No, no, no.

I would have nowhere but the streets, and I just spent money on clothes when I could've tried to afford a hotel—but that didn't matter. A hotel was too expensive, it would take all the money I had from my last paycheck. It was better to wait it out on the streets if it meant saving money for an apartment.

"Faeryn," she called after me. "Wait."

"I have to get back to work." I sounded numb when I was anything but, spiraling into panic. "I'll figure it out."

"Hey." She grabbed my shoulder, pulling me toward her. "You can talk to me."

"I'll figure it out." I entered the elevator, shaking my head when she tried to join me. "Please don't."

"Faeryn," she said, her features twisted. "Come on."

"I'll—" I sniffled, determined to keep the tears back. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" The doors began to close. "I'm really glad you're back."

"Faeryn—"

The doors closed. And I tried my best not to cry.

꧁꧂

 

Jaehyun came to reception soon after lunch to tell me that Taehyung was swamped with meetings and couldn't make it, but I barely heard him. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears at the prospect of living on the streets until I had enough income for an apartment.

Right when I clocked out, I shuffled toward the door, my throat tight with apprehension. I would stay in cafes until I couldn't, then stay in the park. There was no other option; Jin already made himself clear.

Heading toward the cafe closest to the park, I braced myself for a long night—and the ones that were to follow.

꧁꧂

 

The night was long and scary, but I survived it as I survived long nights with Ryker, but just like at the end of those, I was exhausted and trembling.

At the first hint of the sun, I inched out of the safety of the slide, and my body cramped after a long night of hiding.

My mind set on coffee and breakfast from HYBE, I wrapped my arms around myself as I began the walk there.

After security let me in, I had time before I needed to clock in, so I went to the break room for breakfast. There weren't many people present, and relieved, I took a seat at the furthest table from anyone. There, with a half-eaten pastry in my hand and a steaming cup of bitter coffee, I fell asleep.

I wasn't sure what time it was when I woke up, only that someone was shaking me and there was more light coming through the windows.

Startled, I pushed away, immediately blurting my apologies for falling asleep.

"Faeryn."

Blinking blearily, my heart caught in my throat when I was who it was; Namjoon.

He was looking at me analytically, taking note of my strewn hair and rumpled work clothes. Tracking the crumbs surrounding me, the fallen pastry, and cold coffee, he asked, "Did you sleep here last night?"

My eyes widened. "No, I—I promise. I came in earlier; you can ask security."

He nodded slowly before pulling up a chair beside me. "Where did you sleep? Taehyung contacted your friend, but she didn't know where you were either."

I swallowed roughly. "Well, I—I'm still figuring things out, but for right now, there's a safe area at the park."

"For what?"

I blinked. "To sleep."

His eyes narrowed. "You slept at a park?"

"Yes," I stammered, unsure what his tone read. "Hotels are too expensive, and Lyric couldn't let me stay with her because it's against her lease, so I'm just—I'm going to stay at the park until I save up for an apartment."

He stared at me. "Faeryn."

"Yes?"

"You slept in a park instead of talking with Taehyung." He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why?"

"Because—well, because Jin said I could only stay at your home until I talked to Lyric, and since she said no, I just..." I trailed off when confusion rendered me silent. "I went to the park."

"Jin said that figuratively," he returned, his eyes closed as he shook his head. "Not literally."

I chewed on my lips nervously. "Okay."

He opened his eyes. "Okay?"

I swallowed. "I'm not—I guess I'm just not sure what that means."

He stared at me incredulously. "Are you serious?"

My eyes widened at the sudden tone change. "I'm sorry. I—It's just—I just woke up, so that's why."

"You don't know the difference between figurative and literal because you just woke up?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking with exhaustion and confusion. "Jin said I could only stay until I went to stay with Lyric, so I was just trying to be good and listen."

"By worrying Taehyung all night?"

My eyes snapped to his, the annoyance flickering within them causing me to wither, but my worry for Taehyung won as I managed to relay, "I didn't want him to worry. I—I was just doing what I thought everyone wanted."

"This is your life you're talking about," he countered, setting me with a stern look. "You're going to live it pleasing others until you're rotting away in a park alone? Is that what you want?"

My eyes filled against my will, exhaustion edging my tears on. "No," I managed. "I don't want to be alone."

"And what are you accomplishing by listening to what others want you to do?"

"Being by myself," I managed. "In the park."

"And do you like being in the park by yourself?"

A tired whimper left me. "No, I—I don't want to be in the park alone, but I thought Jin said I couldn't say any longer; that's why I didn't ask again."

"The circumstances changed; you didn't ask if his answer changed with them."

"I'm sorry," I stammered. "I didn't realize."

He breathed deeply, agitation spreading through his features as he stood. "Come with me."

Wiping my nose, I left my chair, awkwardly wiping the crumbs from my clothes.

He snapped his fingers, pointing in front of him. "Here."

Shuffling forward quickly, I positioned myself in front of him as he instructed, pivoting slightly to ask, "Where should I go?"

"To the elevators."

Clasping my hands together, I nodded rigidly and did as I was told. In the elevators, Namjoon pressed the button for the fourth floor, crossing his arms as he waited to arrive.

Leaning against the wall for support, I struggled to keep my eyes open as tears blinded my vision. They remained still, not yet falling, and with every second, I tried to reign them back.

Once the elevator stopped, Namjoon flicked his fingers forward; an indication for me to exit first. "Third door on the right."

I listened, my eyes shifting as I walked to the door. When I opened it, I froze when I saw Hoseok and Yoongi. They turned from the couch they sat on, and the Hoseok stood immediately.

"Faeryn." His forehead wrinkled as he looked at me, quickly taking note of my watery eyes. Stepping forward, his confusion and concern were prominent. "Where have you been?"

I choked a bit, the tears threatening me every second. "At the park."

"The park?" His brows bunched together. "When? Just now?"

"No," Namjoon said flatly, closing the door behind us. "All night."

"All night?" Hoseok's brows flew up as he searched my face for confirmation. "Faeryn?"

"I'm sorry." I sniffled, and finally, the dam broke, causing my tears to flood down my cheeks and wreck me.

"Oh, hey, hey." Hoseok closed the distance between us, both hands on my shoulders as he peered into my face. "It's okay. Do you want to sit down? Take a break?"

"But I—I haven't even clocked in," I cried, wiping my face as the tears continued to fall and shame me. "I haven't done anything to earn a break."

"You've been at the park all night." He rubbed both my arms up and down. "You deserve a break, I promise."

I tried to look at him, finding it hard to do with my blurry vision.

"Hey," he murmured, gently wiping my tears with his thumb as he eased me closer to him. "Being out all night isn't really restful, is it?"

I shook my head, my lips quivering in response as the tears fell quickly.

"I know," he soothed. "Oh, I know." With his hand on my back, he guided us back toward the couch. "How about we sit? We don't have to talk; we can just relax. Does that sound good?"

"Okay," I stammered, clinging to his arm as we walked.

When he lowered me onto the couch, he sat beside me, letting me cling to him.

"There you go," he encouraged softly as I curled my legs behind me, easing closer to him. "Just relax."

"Taehyung's worried?" I whispered, shifting my grasp to his shirt. Holding on tightly, I amended, "I didn't mean to make him worried. I was just—I thought I was doing what I was supposed to."

"He's okay," he consoled, rubbing my back reassuringly. "Don't worry about him; worry about getting some rest, okay? You can stay right here."

"I didn't know what else to do," I whimpered. "I'm—Hoseok, I'm really sorry."

"No, hey, it's okay. You don't have anything to apologize for." He coursed his fingers through my hair, causing me to sink closer to him. "You're okay."

Exhausted, I couldn't think properly as I rested my head on his chest, craving comfort after a night with so much fear.

"I've got you." He gently squeezed the back of my neck, his fingers soothing around the tension. "Just relax."

It didn't take long for exhaustion to win, and I was asleep in seconds, holding onto him tightly until I couldn't.

꧁꧂

 

"How long was she at the park?" Taehyung asked worriedly. "Did she say?"

"All night." Namjoon sighed, sounding agitated. "She was confused about Jin's wording."

"His wording?" Hoseok pressed, his voice closer than anyone else's. "How so?"

"What would happen if her friend didn't agree to keep her at her apartment."

I heard Hoseok's frown. "What did he say?"

"He said she would leave after Lyric came back; that's what he said."

"She took it the wrong way?" Yoongi queried.

"She did," Namjoon muttered. "Since her friend said no, she thought it meant Jin would say no."

"But why would we say no to her?" Taehyung stressed. "I thought she knew we were friends."

"She's just confused," Jimin cut in. "She would stay if she knew it was okay."

"Do you think Jin should tell her?" Taehyung wondered anxiously. "Maybe it would be better if she heard it from him."

"That's a good point." Hoseok's fingers gently scratched my scalp. "We'll have Jin talk to her."

I curled closer to Hoseok, mewling when his hand reached down to cup the back of my neck, massaging in slow circles.

"Hey," he murmured. "You with us?"

I nodded languidly, staying as close to him as possible.

"Faeryn," Taehyung breathed out. "Hey. Are you okay?"

I lifted my face, my surroundings blurry.

"They told me you were outside all night in a park," he continued, stressed. "But that won't happen again, okay? Jin's going to talk to you, and everything's going to be fine, I promise."

I swallowed around the dryness in my throat, blinking until I could see him. Once I had, comfort swept through me, and my stomach heated at the sight of him standing in a dress shirt and slacks, his arms crossed against his chest as he gnawed on his bottom lip.

Instinctively, I reached for him, and immediately, he was before me, crouching down to my level.

"I'm here," he promised. "Are you okay?"

"Okay," I rasped, squeezing his arm. "I—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry, and I'm really sorry that I misunderstood what Jin said. I won't do it again, I promise."

"What?" He shook his head quickly, his eyes widening. "You didn't do anything wrong; you don't have to apologize."

I hesitantly looked over at where Namjoon stood, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He wasn't as intimidating as Jin, but the stern expression on his face almost was.

Taehyung caught my eye, following my gaze until it landed on Namjoon, and confused, he questioned, "Did he say you were?"

"No," I refuted quickly, "I just—I don't want anyone to be upset."

"If he's upset, it's with me," Taehyung revealed, his voice laced with reassurance. "Okay? I was up all night."

"All night?" I wondered, confused.

"I was worried," he admitted. "When Lyric said she didn't know where you were, I panicked."

My features twisted. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

"It's okay, it's okay," he insisted, nodding quickly to make his point. "You worry about friends sometimes; no big deal."

My voice quivered. "No big deal?"

"None at all," he agreed. "I swear, and now that I know you're okay, I'm not worried anymore."

I released a tremulous breath. "Can—Taehyung, can I hug you?"

"Yes," he said in one breath. "Whenever you want."

I threw my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I'd wanted to when I left HYBE last night.

"Thank you," I croaked. "You're—I'm really glad you're my friend."

His arms tightened around me. "I'm really glad you're my friend, too."

I froze. "What—what about work?" Panic set in, and I tore myself away from him. "Will I be fired? Am I late?"

"No, no, it's okay," he assured. "We talked to your manager, Chiksu, and let him know you were taking a sick day."

My breath hitched. "Really?"

"Yes, so try not to stress." He showed a quick smile. "Everything's taken care of."

I tried my best not to cry, but with his kind face and gestures, it was growing difficult. Choked up, I forced a thank you out of my system before hugging him and hiding my face in his neck in case the tears won.

"No big deal," he repeated soothingly.

But it was a big deal; it meant so much to me—him, his actions, and his friends; some of which might've been becoming my friends, too.

I was still hugging him when the door opened to reveal Jin, and surprised, I gripped Taehyung tighter, angling my face to see the announced.

Jin took in the scene before him, his gaze settling on Taehyung and me. Momentarily, he stated, "She's here."

"Yeah." Taehyung kept me close. "Found her."

Jungkook slipped in behind him, pausing when he saw me. He glanced at Jin, then me, then back at Jin, side-eying me on his way to the furthest couch.

Jin closed the door, rubbing his forehead as he leveled with us. "We have a meeting in ten minutes."

"We can talk in ten minutes," Taehyung countered.

Jin took a few steps forward, cocking a brow as I continued latching onto Taehyung, my face half-buried in his shoulder.

"Sit up," he instructed.

I listened immediately, my face turning a crimson red. "Sorry," I managed.

He took the remaining steps to get to me, his muscular frame hovering over mine where I sat. "Namjoon tells me you misunderstood my statement."

I held my breath as I nodded.

"You have nowhere to go," he continued. "Correct?"

"Yes," I stammered. "But I—I will once I save up. That's why—I mean, that's why I stayed at the park instead of the hotel—because it's cheaper than hotels, so I could save up faster."

"Yes." He looked at me over his nose. "But it's not safe, is it?"

I hesitated, looking down. "Well, no—"

"Then it's not an option for you." He surveyed my features. "If I had worded my statement differently, would you have come to us to ask?"

"To...to ask what?"

"To stay with us. At our home."

I gnawed on my cheek, my eyes widening with hope. "I...I would really like to if that's okay with you. Just until I save up enough for my own apartment, of course, and I—I would be good and clean up after myself, and I promise I won't be loud; you won't even know I'm there."

"That's not an issue." He withdrew his phone. "What is your number?"

I blanked. "I...I don't have a phone."

He squinted. "We'll change that." He slipped his phone back in his pocket. "How much are they paying you?"

"Jin," Taehyung chided.

"I need an estimate," he dismissed him. "To know how long she would need to save up and what her budgeting would look like."

I squeaked, "1,381,205.00 won."

"Weekly?"

"Yeah, they—yeah."

He digested the information quickly, his eyes narrowing as he thought. "You should have enough to comfortably live in three months." Before anyone could speak, he supplemented, "If not, we'll speak then."

"I will," I said, determined.

"If not," he reiterated firmly, "we'll speak then. Understood?"

"Understood," I peeped.

"With whatever you have left of your paycheck, you'll buy yourself a phone," he instructed. "You'll need it to communicate with us."

I nodded quickly.

"Taehyung," Jin prompted. "After work, take her to get a phone."

"Okay." Taehyung squeezed my knee encouragingly. "I can do that."

"I can—actually, I can just walk," I countered quickly. "He doesn't have to—"

"He has a car, and he can use it," Jin cut me off, leveling his brows as he looked at me. "We'll speak more on this later, but if I give an instruction, it's to make things easier, not harder."

"He's right," Taehyung agreed softly. "You didn't get enough rest, so walking too much wouldn't be good."

"I just—I don't want you to do something you don't have to," I said, my bottom lip turning out sorrily.

"Taehyung enjoys time with you." Jin looked between us. "It's not a bother to him; if anything, it will decrease his worry. Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes," I breathed out. "I—I want that."

"Then you'll let him take you to buy a phone."

I nodded rapidly, remembering to say my thanks as well as my agreement.

"Very good." He turned to the others. "The rest of us have a meeting to attend." His attention shifted back to me. "You can stay here; rest, if you can. There's TV and snacks, and if you need anything, you will ask the staff, yes?"

"Yes," I confirmed, blushing at his prolonged attention.

Jin gestured everyone to the door. "Out."

Taehyung stood but not before rubbing my arms reassuringly. "I'll be back during lunch break, okay? I'll bring you cookies from the vending machine."

I pushed out a watery smile. "Thank you."

"And I brought our crochet kit," he said, his eyes brightening at the recollection. "All your things, actually. I packed them up last night in one of my bags for you, nice and neat, I promise, because I thought you might want them." He took a breath before continuing, "I'll bring them here on break for you."

My heart nearly burst, and I hugged him tightly. I wasn't sure how to properly convey just how much he meant to me or how my head spun at his kindness and the soothing scent of his cologne, so all I managed was, "You're so nice."

He rubbed the back of my head gently. "You are too. The nicest." Leaning back, he showed me a bright smile. "Especially for teaching me crochet and showing me earplugs. Oh! Speaking of—" He pulled out my earplugs in their case, handing them to me. "I kept these in my pocket because they're more important than the crochet kit for you, I'm pretty sure."

My eyes filled. "Taehyung, you're—" I inhaled to steady myself, overflowing with gratitude. "Thank you."

"It's okay," he said, wide-eyed at the sight of my tears. "Really, Faeryn. It was no problem at all, I swear."

It had been an issue with Ryker, always poking at my earplugs, ripping them out to yell in my ear, laughing when I cried—

I hugged Taehyung again, shivering as his warmth spread into me. "Thank you."

He patted my back. "Yeah, of course. It really wasn't a problem; not at all."

When we pulled away, his features twisted at the sight of my tears, and he carefully brushed them away as Hoseok had done earlier. It was intense—to have such kind touches so early in the morning.

"I'll see you at break," he promised. "And the TV has Netflix, so you can watch Camp Cretaceous."

He made sure I had stopped crying before waving and leaving, peeking his head back in the door to wave again, and once everyone departed, Jin remained.

"Relax," he reinstated. "Watch the dinosaur show like Taehyung said. Everything's fine."

"Thank you," I choked out. "It's—you're all being so kind to me, and I'm—I'm not very good with words—I trip and make them sound bad—but I can say thank you, so I just—" I nodded. "Thank you so much."

His features eased. "Relax; watch TV. Don't make yourself sick with tears."

"I won't," I croaked, and with a curt nod from him, he was gone.

Settling onto the couch, I sniffled, wiping my nose as I searched for the remote. Once my earplugs were in and Camp Cretaceous was on, I hugged a couch pillow to my chest and tried to relax.

 

Chapter 6: I'm Falling For You

     ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

         ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

After work and a nice lunch break with Taehyung, including crochet and Camp Cretaceous, he took me to the store to buy a phone.

Now, at their house after a day full of rest, I felt much better and more hopeful than I did yesterday. Three months, Jin had said. I would have my own apartment in three months, somewhere far away from Ryker. Maybe Taehyung would visit—Hoseok and Jimin, too. Maybe I would become friends with the others for three months. As intimidating as it seemed, I wanted to try.

So, at dinner, I tried my best to keep up with the conversation. It was quick, how they shoot off conversation prompts and jokes, and after a few minutes, I gave up, absolutely whiplashed.

Quietly sipping my water in the strawberry cup, I held onto it for solace as I listened attentively to the conversation with my earplugs in for comfort.

Eventually, Namjoon addressed me with a question. "Why do you need earplugs at the table?"

I froze, my grip on my cup tightening as everyone's attention shot to mine. "It's—it's loud, and I—I just like wearing them."

He quirked a brow. "We're too loud for you?"

"No," I refuted with wide eyes. "I—I didn't mean you—or any of you—just things in general are too loud, like chewing and chopsticks against plates and...and things like that." I trailed off, horribly embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"What Namjoon is trying to say," Hoseok cut in smoothly, "is that he's never seen someone wear earplugs at the table, so he's curious as to why, not that it's a bad thing."

Namjoon glanced at Hoseok before looking back at me. 

Confused, I made sure they knew, "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to come across as rude. You can be as loud as you want, really, I just—I have to keep the earplugs on or I'll get overwhelmed."

Namjoon tilted his head. "Why is that?"

I swallowed. "I...I just will."

"How about easier questions at the dinner table?" Jimin cut in.

Namjoon's fingers encircled his wine glass, his eyes still on me. "Such as?"

"Adding Faeryn to a group chat," Jimin revealed, offering a smile when I looked his way. "She can stay informed that way; what's for dinner, who will be at the house at what time, etcetera."

Jin nodded from the head of the table, grabbing Jungkook's phone from his hands and placing it face down on the table. "Eat," he instructed.

Jungkook mumbled but listened, grabbing his spoon to resume his soup and dipping some of his rice into it.

To me, Jin prompted, "Phone number."

I rattled it off, watching him input it into his phone. A moment later, a notification went off in mine, alerting me I'd been added to a group chat called home chat.

A thrill shot through me at being added to something with the word home in it, and I couldn't help the smile that worked its way onto my face. "Thank you," I said gratefully. "I got it."

"Good." He set his phone down. "You can ask us questions in there; our individual numbers are in there as well."

I repeated my thanks, my cheeks heating when he dipped his chin in acknowledgment, his eyes never leaving mine. I was caught in his gaze, too caught to look away, and it was strange to hold eye contact for me—much less with the intensity in his—but it felt stranger breaking it. So I held it, my throat tightening when he lifted his glass to drink, his dark gaze still trained on mine, and finally, when his tongue swept over his bottom lip to track any wine, I looked away, struggling to catch my breath.

After dinner, Taehyung led me to the guest room, pushing open the door excitedly. My eyes widened when I took in the newly cleaned room and sheets, everything in its place and no boxes to be found.

"For you," he exclaimed. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I redecorated it for when you came back." The light in his eyes drew me in. "I knew you'd come back."

I nearly tackled him with a hug, burying my face in his firm, sturdy chest and holding on tight. "This is so nice, and you're so nice, and I—I love it."

"Oh, good," he exhaled his relief. "I thought maybe the blankets weren't put on right; I have trouble with that sometimes—"

"They're perfect." I leaned back just enough to look up at him, my features shining. "You're perfect."

We blinked at each other, dread filling me at how easily the loaded words left me.

"Oh, I—" I pulled away from him, clasping my hands tightly together. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"No, no, that's—" He laughed, the sound higher than normal. "That's totally fine—seriously! Don't worry about it. You just meant that the room is perfect, and you—yeah." He showed a big, wavering smile. "No worries!"

My lips parted to speak before I decided against it, believing I'd only heighten the awkwardness. "Okay."

"Well!" He stepped back. "So! The room is all set up, and if you're all set up, I'm just"—he jutted his thumb toward the door—"going to go."

"Oh!" I stepped back just as he did. "Okay, that's—yeah, okay." As he was leaving through the door backward, I asked hesitantly, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah! I mean, yes." He cleared his throat. "Yes. Since you live here, and I live here, I'll see you tomorrow. Probably at breakfast. Maybe in the bathroom? But not together, I mean—" He waved his hands around rapidly. "I just meant in line to use it, since in the mornings, there can be a line, but—" He sucked in air through his cheeks. "Good night!"

He disappeared quickly, his footsteps hurrying down the hall.

I hesitated before closing the door, my cheeks infused with cherry blossoms as I face-planted into bed.

꧁꧂

 

When morning came, Taehyung was extra talkative, especially towards me. His cheeks were always painted a pretty red when his eyes locked with mine, and during our car ride with Hoseok and Jimin, he couldn't stop rambling.

I mulled over the sudden change at reception as I set up my small, action-figure dinosaurs that I brought to my desk when I began working here. Relieved I never brought them home for Ryker to steal from me, I busied myself with arranging them while I waited for someone to assist.

I was glad no one could see them; the reception desk was large, and there was a curve that hid the computer and everything around it, including my dinosaur set-up. Just in case, I did have a container I could hide the dinosaurs in if someone tried to peek over to see.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to cover them this time when a familiar voice prompted my name. I looked up, startled, and even more so when I saw who it was; Yoongi.

He was dressed in comfortable attire, pointing towards a day of dance rehearsals, and I shot up too quickly, causing my dinosaur set-up to sprawl on the floor. His brows furrowed at the clatter, and when I lowered myself to gather them, I was surprised to find him crouching down with me behind the desk soon after.

"Oh, it's—no, it's really okay," I spoke hurriedly. "You don't have to—"

"I startled you." He lifted two dinosaurs; the stegosaurus and brontosaurus. "I apologize."

"No, it's—no, no, please, it's okay." I accepted the dinosaurs he handed me, burning with embarrassment as I carefully set them back on my desk. "They're just a part of the display. That's it."

He glanced at my desk. "May I ask...what display?"

Aside from the dinosaurs, there were only piles of paper, folders, a fax machine, and a computer.

I blanked. "Uh, for the—for a..." My eyes lit up. "Like paperweights. See?" I put a few on a stack of printer paper. "Like this."

"I see." His shoulders rose slightly as he analyzed the scene before him. "Are any of them..." He frowned. "Bumpy?"

"Bumpy?" Confusion rendered me motionless, but soon, my lips parted in recognition and surprise. "You mean an Ankylosaurs? From Camp Cretaceous? Bumpy?" Giddily, I picked it up, brushing my thumb over the spikes on its armored plates. "This one." I held it out to him tentatively. "See?"

He nudged his hands into his hoodie pockets, and I couldn't help but admire how comfortable he looked. He looked drowsy, his eyes half-lidded, but with his black, floppy hair and sleepy features, he looked comfortable and warm in his hoodie and sweatpants.

I flushed when he stepped closer to view the dinosaur.

Presently, he said, "It's not blue."

"Oh!" I stood up straighter. "Yeah, Bumpy is blue in the show, but in real life, scientists think Ankylosaurs were brown and their belly was white. It's like a color pattern to camouflage them from predators, and its armor"—I pointed to the spikes—"was to protect them."

I took a deep breath, nodding excitedly. "Isn't that cool?"

He nodded slowly, but his eyes weren't on the dinosaur; they were on me. "You know a lot about dinosaurs."

I blushed. "I—yeah." I shrugged sheepishly. "I really like them."

"You're an encyclopedia."

I giggled awkwardly. "Yeah."

He surprised me when a slow, careful smile tugged at his lips. It was small, but it was there. "You have nice paperweights."

I jolted happily. "Oh! Thanks!"

He nodded. "I came down here to ask for a fax; one of our staff sent it to the wrong area."

I jumped, turning around to check the fax machine. Carefully lifting a schedule that came through, I wondered, "Was it a schedule?"

"Yes."

"From?"

He revealed the name, and when it matched, I released it to him with a wobbly smile. "Here."

"Thank you." He returned to the opposite side of the desk. Pivoting toward me as he walked away, he said, "Have a nice day."

"You too," I called after him, humming to myself as I set up my dinosaurs again.

At lunch, Lyric brought me three protein shakes, her eyes filled with apologies before they tumbled from her lips.

"I'm so sorry you can't stay with me," she lamented, pushing both shakes into my hand and guiding one to my mouth. "Here; drink. I know protein shakes make you feel better."

I stared at her, bug-eyed, as I swallowed around the sudden onslaught of liquid.

"Good job," she praised, patting my back gently. "Just drink it nice and calmly, okay?"

I blinked rapidly, gasping for air once she pulled the drink away.

"Nice and calmly," she insisted, patting my back faster. "Are you okay? Shit, Fae, I was so worried about you." She yanked me into a hug, squeezing the air out of me. "Where were you?"

"The—the park," I managed. "Lyr, please, I can't breathe—"

She pulled away, shaking me quickly. "The park?! All night?! Faeryn!"

Grateful for my earplugs, I just nodded.

She pulled me into another hug, this one—thankfully—quicker than the last. "Don't ever do that again; you scared me!"

"I'm sorry," I apologized with wide eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you." This time, I tentatively hugged her, taking quick inhales through my nose when she hugged me with a compressive grip.

"Don't apologize," she scolded. "Just don't do it again." Carefully navigating me to our table, she pushed me into my chair. "And drink both protein shakes; they'll make you happy."

"I'll try," I promised, patting her arm when she took a seat beside me. "Thank you."

Picking up her chopsticks, she snapped them at me. "If you take an elevator without me again, I'll take your nose with this." She tapped them against the tip, making me blink in surprise. "Got it?"

I started to smile when she did. "Got it."

"Good." She heaved out a gargantuan sigh. "Because I'm starving. Less talk, more food. By the way," she noted through a mouthful of seaweed chips, "Taehyung came by at break to let me know you were staying with them." She wiggled her brows. "How's that going?"

I patted my over-heated cheeks. "Fine."

She snapped her chopsticks at me again. "Tell me if you need help making any doctor's appointments; I'm your girl."

I covered my face in embarrassment, once again stuck pushing away the sexual images revolving in my mind.

"Hey." She nudged my bag with her shoe. "What's that?"

I perked up, leaning down to withdraw the item. Holding my crochet dinosaur out to her, I proclaimed, "For you."

Her jaw dropped as she stared at it. "What? Why for me?" She carefully took it, hugging it to her chest much gentler than she hugged me. "Oh my god," she whispered. "It's precious."

"Because I felt sorry for making you worry," I explained, patting her knee apologetically. "And I thought you might like it."

"I love it," she whisper-shouted, cradling it close. "Fae, this is the best gift I will ever receive in my life. You've outdone yourself, really."

"Well...I guess that means you won't watch the matching pajama set I made for it—"

"Hand it over, Petal!"

With a giggle, I drew them from my bag and handed them to her, watching her carefully fuss over the dino as she tugged them on.

"Hey!" Taehyung greeted, nearly knocking over the chair with his nervous energy. Apologizing, he took the seat on the opposite side of me, smiling sheepishly. "Hey."

"Hi." I put both my arms out toward the dino and Lyric, my palms turned up. "Lyric likes her gift."

Taehyung waved. "Hey." He waved to the dino next. "Hey."

Lyric managed a greeting in-between her cooing to the dinosaur as she fitted his pajamas around him, poking his over-stuffed stomach and saying how cute and chubby he was.

Taehyung tilted his head toward her. "I think she loves him."

Lyric cooed, "Of course I do, my sweet little baby dinosaur."

Taehyung and I shared a grin, and he noticeably relaxed at the sight, nudging my shoulder with his as he unwrapped his lunch.

"Hey." I turned, a smile filling my face at the sight of Hoseok.

"Hi!" I beamed up at him as he sat beside Taehyung. "What are you doing here?"

He returned my smile as he placed his plate of food on the table. "I thought I'd join you." He glanced at Lyric, lifting an amused brow. "I see she likes her gift."

"Loves it," Lyric sighed happily, bumping noses with the dino. On second thought, she glanced over at him. Placing her dino on her lap, she greeted, "Another man from the harem."

I choked on my protein shake, earning a concerned back pat from Taehyung.

"Are you okay?" Hoseok asked me, his brows furrowed as I caught my breath.

I managed a thumbs-up, my throat stinging from the sudden attack.

"All right," he murmured. "Take it slow."

"I will," I rasped, melting when he showed a smile laced with approval in return.

"See?" Lyric noted. "Harem."

Hoseok glanced at her. "Lyric, I assume."

"You assume correct." She picked up her chopsticks. "Hoseok, I'm aware."

"Mhm."

"Be nice to her," she demanded. "I'll know if you're not."

Hoseok's eyes landed on mine. "I will."

"Good." She dug into her food. "Start eating, boys and girl; we have ten minutes left."

"Sorry for being a little late," Taehyung apologized. "One of our meetings ran late."

"That's okay," I assured him. "You don't have to even come here for lunch, so you coming here at all is really nice."

"I don't have to," he agreed. "But I want to." He smiled one of his dimpled smiles. "I like hanging out with you."

I beamed, resting my head on his shoulder as I drank my protein shake.

Lunch was full of easy chatter and smiles, including laughter every so often at Lyric and her dedication to her sweet little baby dinosaur.

The rest of my work day flew by quickly, and by the time it was five o'clock, I slung the bag Taehyung brought for me yesterday over my shoulder and headed to a seat in the lobby to wait for him and the others.

On my way there, I turned when commotion sounded at the front doors. Everything stopped within me; a complete freeze of breath and motion as I locked eyes with my tormenter.

Ryker.

I stumbled back as a few security guards shoved him back, claiming he couldn't enter without an ID. Ryker wasn't hostile, he never was around people he needed to like him for gain, so he put his hands up in surrender.

"This is just a misunderstanding," he spoke, his sickly sweet voice defiling the air on its way to me. "I told you; I'm here to pick up my girlfriend Faeryn Petal."

"You don't have a guest ID," one of them barked. "Wait across the street for her; you're not allowed inside."

Ryker took a step back, about to listen when he caught my eye. Trembling, I tried to move, but I couldn't, every survival instinct leaving me.

His lips curled with distaste before he schooled his expression into a cool exterior. "There she is; my beautiful girlfriend." He pointed me out, and a few of the security guards turned to view me.

"If you know him," one of them said gruffly. "Go with him, but he can't come in here without a guest ID."

Ryker's eyes held a sick glint, and when I imagined how many times I'd viewed it as he hurt me, my survival instincts kicked in and took me to the elevators. I didn't look back, not even when I heard him calling after me.

In the elevators, I watched to make sure he wasn't allowed inside until they closed, clutching my chest as it heaved with anxiety.

When the elevator opened to reveal Taehyung and the others awaiting it, I closed the small distance between us, turning and pressing the up button for the elevator.

"Hey," Taehyung greeted, blinking as he watched the elevator doors close without us boarding. "Are we going...up?"

I blinked rapidly, shaking my head in the same manner.

I couldn't let them see Ryker; I didn't want to risk them believing him over me.

"No," I croaked.

"Well, Faeryn." Namjoon arched a brow, the motion slow and drawn out just as his words were. "You pressed the button for the above floor."

"We can't go down yet," I blurted.

"Why not?" a few of them queried, the rest watching in various states of confusion and intrigue.

"Well, it's—because it's not...safe!" I decided, putting my hands out in front of me to keep them from advancing. "Security is checking everything, but until then, we just—we have to stay up here, so I'll go take a look to see where they are with it, but you can't follow."

Turning, I pressed the button to go down. "When I come back up, you can—"

"Faeryn, what?" Taehyung tugged me toward him, shaking his head quickly. "If it's not safe downstairs, you're not going down there."

"If it wasn't safe," Namjoon cut in, criticizing my trembling. "The alarms would've gone off."

"What's going on downstairs, Faeryn?" Jin's voice was a low rumble, a vibration that spread through me.

"Nothing," I insisted wildly. "You just—you have to stay up here."

He walked forward, the others shifting to allow space for him to pass. "When I make instructions, it's to make things easier." A few inches from me, he prompted, "Who are you making things easier for, Faeryn; you or us?"

My lower lip trembled as my thoughts raced and bumped into each other, making a mess. "I don't—I don't know."

"You do," he refuted, his tone firm and eyes sharp. "And you will tell me." He lowered his face closer to mine, causing my breath to hitch. "Now, Faeryn."

"Don't want you to believe him," I blurted, my chest rising and falling rapidly.

Hoseok's eyes narrowed as Taehyung's widened. Pushing past Jin, Hoseok pressed the elevator button repeatedly.

Jin squinted. "Hoseok."

"He's here." He turned to me. "In the lobby."

"Answers." He looked between us. "Now."

The elevators dinged open, and Hoseok stepped inside, turning with a grim expression. Anger was written into his features, and my stomach swooped, filling with dread. He would return upstairs after speaking to Ryker and never be my friend again; I would be kicked out of their house to live on the streets—or they would take to me to Ryker's and fire me from HYBE.

I bolted toward him, grabbing his arm as panic set in. "Please, Hoseok, I—I don't want you to go."

His features softened slightly. "I'll be right back."

"Stay," I pleaded. "Please don't go down."

He hesitated when he saw the tears blooming in my eyes, and before the doors could close, he stopped them. "Faeryn," he spoke slowly. "If he's downstairs, our security can put his face and name in the system and keep him from coming here."

"You'll believe him," I stressed, panic threatening to consume me. "And I don't want you to believe him. I want—I just want you to be friends with me, not him."

He paused, his anger morphing as thoughts whirred behind his eyes. "I'm not going to befriend anyone who inflicts pain on others." Firmly, he iterated, "Especially on you."

"He's downstairs," Jin relayed his understanding of the situation, his dark eyes taking in my reaction closely. "Faeryn, you're not safe if he manages to gain access inside. Does he have a guest ID or work here?"

"No," I managed. "But if you believe him, you'll give him one, and—"

"We won't," he said sternly. "But if you're insistent on people believing him, he could befriend staff members and earn one."

I paled considerably. "No, please, I don't—Jin, please, I don't want that."

"Then you will tell me his name," he enunciated clearly. Coolly. "And I will give it to security."

I trembled inconsolably, shaking my hands in front of me as worst-case scenarios flitted through my mind. "I—I'm scared."

"It's okay," Taehyung said quickly, positioning himself beside Jin and closer to me. "We won't believe him, and once his name is in our system, you'll be safer." He nodded encouragingly. "Doesn't that sound good?"

I faltered, confusion causing a dull ache behind my eyes. "But if you believe him, I—I won't be your friend anymore."

"That's not going to happen," he refuted heatedly. "I won't stop being your friend because of some asshole."

"Faeryn," Jin pressed. "Now."

With everyone waiting and my panic increasing to near hyperventilation status, I blurted, "Ryker Haze."

Hoseok let the elevator doors close, and once they had, it was a clear visual that I'd sealed my fate.

꧁꧂

 

Taehyung remained by my side as he did his best to console me, but I was beside myself with panic, clinging to him as I prepared to lose his friendship when Hoseok would inevitably return believing Ryker.

However, when he returned, his features were grim. "He's gone."

Relief slammed into me, leaving me slumped in Taehyung's embrace.

"Security knows him," he continued. "And I revealed his name, so they can pull up the footage and put him on a blocklist."

"Did you see him?" Taehyung asked, holding me tightly.

"No," Hoseok revealed distastefully. "He was gone by the time I entered the lobby."

I was more relieved than I could comprehend; we were still friends, and I could continue living with them.

I released a tremulous breath, hiding my face in Taehyung's chest for support.

He rubbed my back soothingly, his fingers long and slender as they began a firm massage near my neck. "You're safe now, Faeryn. He can't get to you here."

I shuddered, forcing myself to nod.

"Faeryn," Jin commanded, low and deep.

Tensing, I lifted my face to view him, my cheeks stained with tears.

Taking a quick analytic sweep of my face, he began, "You live with us. This being said, you will follow the rules we abide by." He raised a brow when I attempted to re-hide my face. "Faeryn; eyes on me."

I blurted multiple apologies before training my eyes on his forehead, too uncomfortable with direct eye contact.

His eyes narrowed. "If I instruct you to do something, as long as it isn't putting you or anyone in danger, you do it. By not giving us Ryker's name immediately, it was putting you in danger."

I began to protest before hesitating, his stern look making me shiver.

He took note of my parted lips. "Do you disagree?"

"If you didn't believe me," I tried, struggling to keep my eyes on his forehead when all I wanted was the comfort of Taehyung's form. "I—I wouldn't have been safe."

He folded his arms across his chest, his muscles rippling with the action. "Explain your thought process to me."

"Oh," I stammered. "Well, I—I know that you'll believe him instead of me, and if you do, then I—I'll be...I'll have to go back with him."

"You know," he repeated. "Faeryn." He angled his head to the side. "That's highly insulting."

I blanked, my mouth running dry as sheer panic enveloped me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't—that wasn't my intention, I promise, it's just—it's happened so many times that—"

"You made unfair claims that it would happen with us as well." He set me with a knowing look. "I understand you don't know us well enough to gauge our reactions or beliefs, but if there's one thing you should take away from this situation, it's the knowledge that we stand with victims, not abusers."

I blinked multiple times. "But he'll say that he doesn't hurt me."

"And we won't believe him." He tilted his head toward the elevators, and the others walked toward it, Hoseok taking the liberty to press the down button.

I stared agape at the wordless instruction and immediate obedience.

To me, he stated, "I see through lies easily, Faeryn, and I'm aware you're not lying, meaning he is."

Taehyung gently guided me toward the elevator, taking me with him.

Once we were all inside the elevator and the doors had closed, Jin concluded, "We're on your side, Faeryn. Relax."

With a quick, sharp shudder, I pushed my head against Taehyung's shoulder and reclaimed my lost air.

꧁꧂

 

At their house, I collapsed into bed before I could change, knowing I needed to eat dinner but too tired to do so.

A few minutes later, a knock on my door startled me, and, pushing myself to stand, I called, "Come in."

I stood as straight as possible when Jin opened the door, closing it slightly but not enough to click shut. Staying near the door, he took in the slight crease on my bed and my tightly clasped hands.

"Sit," he instructed.

I listened immediately, wide-eyed as I waited for further instruction.

"I apologize if I came off as harsh," he said after a moment of silence. "Earlier at HYBE."

I withered and preened under his attention. "It's—it's okay."

"I don't want to see anyone hurt, Faeryn." He breathed deeply. "Manipulation is part of that, and it seems Ryker used fear to manipulate you into silence; the police weren't of assistance either."

"Yeah," I managed.

"You won't have to deal with manipulation or abuse here," he continued, his tone losing some of its edge. "As I said, you don't know us well enough to believe me, but you'll be here for three months. Hopefully, that's enough time for you to begin to relax. Being anxious constantly will make you sick."

"I—I know," I agreed quietly. "It happens with"—I tentatively pointed to my wrist brace—"this."

He squinted. "How so?"

"It's nerve damage," I stammered. "Anxiety and stress make it worse."

He exhaled rigidly. "I see." His eyes flickered as he examined me. "I'm sure that was difficult, given your previous living situation."

"I'm fine," I insisted, bug-eyed.

"I didn't ask if you were fine; I made a comment."

I turned an incredibly dark shade of red. "Okay."

Presently, an inch softer, he said, "It's all right if you're not fine. I'm not sure if you would be in...trouble with Ryker if you weren't fine or perfect—or whatever he deemed for you to be—but here, it's all right. I don't expect perfection, Faeryn. I expect you to follow our rules, however, one of them being for you to relax."

I wasn't sure if I should've smiled at that, but a timid one escaped me. "Okay."

"And"—his fingers enclosed the doorknob, easing it open once more—"to eat dinner. Everyone here needs to take care of themselves, and eating properly is a part of that."

I stood quickly, nodding my agreement. "I will."

He nodded, albeit slower. "Jimin relayed that certain foods aren't...safe for you."

I blushed. "Yes, that's—that's true."

"Make me a list of what's safe and what isn't, including your favorite safe foods." He opened the door fully. "We'll stock up on them."

"Oh, you—you don't have to do that," I breathed out, surprised. "I can buy them."

"I want you to save up as much as you can," he negated. "When you have your own apartment, you can pay for your food, then. For now, take this as a reprieve." He dipped his chin. "For having to deal with Ryker."

"You really don't have to," I tried again.

"I'm aware of what I have and don't have to do, and while this is one of them, it's something I want to do." He motioned me forward with a flick of his fingers. "Dinner."

My legs took me to him before I could react, my body igniting once it was closer to him.

Looking down at me, he instructed, "Send me the list before bed, yes?"

"Yes," I agreed headily. "Promise."

"Very good, Faeryn." He closed the door once we were both outside the guest room, and I tried not to melt instantly at the praise. "After dinner, you're free to do whatever you'd like. Try to be quiet after 9 PM; most of us retire at that time."

"I will," I promised. "Really quiet."

"For snacks," he continued as we boarded the stairs. "Anything that isn't marked, you can have. You'll see containers with sticky notes to claim food; don't take those. If you want to use sticky notes for your food, they're in the lower cabinet near the sink."

I nodded as I took in his words, my mind spinning at the cologne he wore and the firm, decisive way in which he spoke. The way he carried himself, too, only added to the dominance he held, and I wasn't sure how to comprehend what exactly it extracted from me—only that it made my stomach flutter and my thoughts race.

When we entered the kitchen, I was surprised and relieved to smell and see Chinese food take-out spread out on plates. A chair was pulled out between Jimin and Taehyung with a plate full of chicken and broccoli with brown sauce.

"This is one of your safe foods we're aware of," Jin noted as I looked up at him in grateful question. "We'll have more of a variety once you send me your list."

"Thank you so much," I exhaled with clasped hands near my chest, right next to my quick-beating heart. "I'll make the list right after dinner, I promise, Jin. This is—I really—" I sucked air in through my cheeks, releasing it in a rushed, "I really appreciate you talking with me and for dinner and for letting me stay here and for being so nice."

"That's all right." When he smiled, I almost toppled over. It complimented him so well, his smile. How it reached his eyes and only further accentuated his rugged, handsome features. "Take a seat."

Bursting with gratitude and feeling much better than earlier, I sprung to the table and sat between Taehyung and Jimin.

I beamed at both of them, offering a small wave.

"Food sounds good?" Jimin asked, his eyes smiling at me.

I nodded quickly.

Taehyung pointed, and I turned to see at what, lighting up when I saw the strawberry cup. "Jimin said you liked it," he relayed brightly, nudging our shoulders together. "I poured your cola in it—the one you got the first time you had dinner with us. I thought that meant you liked it, but if not, we can pour it out and get you something else—"

"What?" I breathed out, turning to face him. "No. This—this is perfect."

He blushed, smiling widely. "Perfect."

Jin sat at the head of the table, swiping Jungkook's phone from his hands and placing it on the table as he'd done yesterday. "What did we talk about?" he prompted.

A hint of cherries fanned across Jungkook's cheeks, his eyes flickering to mine just to return to Jin when he realized I was watching him. He mumbled, "I was checking something."

"What did we talk about?" Jin pressed, pushing chopsticks into Jungkook's hand.

"Eat first." Jungkook slumped in his seat, averting eye contact with everyone as he nudged his noodles with his chopsticks. "Phone later."

"You can check your phone in ten minutes." Namjoon chuckled. "You eat quickly enough."

Jungkook huffed, the cherries in his cheeks only further blossoming from his words.

"All right." Jin ruffled Jungkook's hair. "Eat."

Jungkook shrugged him off, halting when he caught the admonishing look Namjoon sent him. His shoulders drooping, he slowly met Jin's eye, mumbling an apology before pushing his noodles into his mouth.

Jin lightly pushed his soda bottle toward him in response, shaking his head as he ripped apart his own chopsticks to eat.

When he caught my eye, I flushed, caught in the act, and offered a timid smile. Using his chopsticks, he gestured toward my plate, and getting the hint, I nodded and began eating.

"I put a straw in," Jimin relayed as he nudged the strawberry cup closer to my plate. "You prefer them, from what I've seen."

With a big smile, I thanked him, letting my fingers trace the handle as I chewed around the broccoli.

Everyone settled into easy chatter, speaking of their days or plans for the upcoming weekend, and I listened contentedly as I ate, finding it easier to push Ryker away with so much to capture my attention.

Once I finished my food, I grasped the strawberry cup with both hands and drank from the straw slowly, vibrating in my seat as the texture and muted conversation—thanks to my earplugs—helped me relax.

Presently, Jimin nudged his knuckles against the side of my face and startled from my comforting haze, I turned to him.

In an undertone, he let me know, "There's nothing left in your cup. Did you want a refill?"

Still sucking the straw, I peered down to view the emptiness of the cup. I managed a shake of my head.

He smiled a bit. "You're still sucking the straw."

I looked at the straw, causing my eyes to momentarily cross. Scrunching my nose, I nodded, continuing to suck.

"Your jaw." With a low chuckle, his thumb gently worked beneath my chin, easing the tension that was beginning to rise. "You'll strain."

My brows furrowed, and slowly, I pulled away from the straw.

"There," he praised, making me preen. His thumb caressed the side of my cheek before falling away as he wondered, "Is using the straw part of your safe category?"

I flushed, shaking my head.

"No?" he prompted. "What's it a part of?"

"Stimulation," I managed, feeling my throat tighten with embarrassment. "Feels nice."

"Ah." He took note of my pinkening cheeks, his thumb returning to swipe along them. "Thank you for telling me; you don't have to be embarrassed."

His touch was soft and easy to fall into, and with his comforting words, I relaxed.

From the other side of me, Taehyung peered over my shoulder. "What's uh—what's going on?"

"Faeryn was just telling me about straws," Jimin relayed, his hand returning to his lap once more.

"Straws?" Taehyung echoed. "What about them?"

"She likes them," Jimin responded. "That's all."

Taehyung tilted his head in question, his eyes flitting to mine. I offered a nod, gesturing to the straw to prove it.

"Oh." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay. Well—what do you like most about them?"

I flicked at it. "I can suck it."

He choked a bit, earning a chuckle from Jimin.

Yoongi wondered from the opposite side of the table, "Are you all right?"

Taehyung showed a thumbs-up while I carefully patted his back.

Yoongi twisted his mouth to the side. "All right. Just try to eat slower."

Taehyung reinstated his thumbs up.

Rubbing his back now, I asked him, "Do you like straws?"

He choked harder.

I looked at Jimin, wide-eyed. "Am I saying something wrong?"

"No," Jimin chuckled. "You're fine. Taehyung, drink some water."

Taehyung grabbed his glass of water and downed it, red in the face when he finally stopped choking.

"Sorry for asking about straws," I offered abashedly.

He cleared his throat, showing a sheepish expression. "Sorry for choking and not answering."

I patted his arm. "You don't have to be sorry."

He eased up a bit, managing a smile as he croaked, "Neither do you."

I held out my hand; a handshake. "No more sorries."

His features broke into a bigger smile, and he clasped my hand, offering a shake. "No more sorries," he agreed, back to his usual cheerfulness.

Instinctively, I brought the cup and straw back to me, happily returning the straw between my lips.

Jimin patted my back, and the action was fond enough for me to release a quiet sound of appreciation. "Just be careful with straining your jaw."

I nodded, easily slipping back into the haze I'd been broken from by their questions, and with them between me, I felt like I was floating in a happy bubble. Today seemed far away, thoughts of Ryker were dimmed, and I swung my legs lightly as I became lost at the kitchen table.

I came to when Taehyung tapped my shoulder, peering into my face. Glancing at him, I was met with a shy smile and a question, "Do you want to crochet before we go to bed?"

In his room, we sat on his bed against the headboard as Camp Cretaceous played on his TV. I had my cup propped on my knee as I crocheted, sucking absently on the straw, and relaxation flooded through me at the familiarity surrounding me. My favorite show, the simple steps of crocheting, earplugs, and Taehyung's occasional crochet questions.

He'd learned how to make a ball with single crochets and decreases, and he stuffed it excitedly, rolling it around in his hand.

"Do you think Bumpy would like this?" he wondered, performing a fake-out throw at the TV when Bumpy came on screen. He examined his work. "Maybe it's too small."

"He would like it if he was still a baby," I teased.

"Quick," he teased right back. "Turn on season one."

I giggled, the movements causing our knees to bump. Before my cup could topple over, he grabbed it, keeping it steady.

"You really like this cup," he noted once my cup wasn't in danger of falling. "And straw."

"Yeah," I admitted. "The texture makes me feel nice."

"The straw is texture?"

"No," I explained. "That's sensation."

"Oh." He rapped his fingers along his ball. "It makes you feel better, like earplugs?"

I nodded a bit. "Yeah. It calms me down. My mom said it helped regulate me when I was little, so I've just kept doing it, and"—I shrugged—"it helps."

"Regulate," he reiterated. "That's good. Rebalance everything about."

"Right," I agreed brightly. "Taehyung, you just—" I sighed appreciatively. "You get it."

He beamed. "You get it, too."

"I do?" I pivoted slightly to view him better. "What do I get?"

"You like vending machine cookies, for one." He grinned cheekily. "That was my first sign you just got it."

I giggled, nudging him playfully.

"I'm serious." He laughed, nudging me back until there was no space left between us. "Plus, you're incredible at crocheting, you know so much about dinosaurs—not to mention your badass T-rex shirt—and you're introducing me to so many new things. I like crocheting and dinosaurs and Chinese food and yo—"

He cut himself off, blinking rapidly. "I like—what I meant to say was, I like...doing all of those things with you." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "That's what I meant."

"I like those things, too." I smiled eagerly. "And now that you like them, we can do them together a lot." I paused, quickly adding, "Only if you want to. I mean, you don't have to do it a lot if you don't want to—"

"No, I want to," he contested immediately. "I want to."

"Okay." I relaxed at his agreement. "Then we can! And once I write that list for Jin, I can show you more food I like if you want—maybe you'll like them like I like the cookies." I froze. "The list. I—oh no, I forgot to write him the list."

Panicking, I left the bed, nearly dropping the cup as I searched the bed for my phone. "Do you know where my phone is? Jin said I had to write a list of safe foods and send it to him tonight, but it's almost 9, and he said everyone starts going to bed at that time, and I—I forgot—"

"Hey, no, hey, don't worry about it." Taehyung stood with me, his eyes wide as he watched me panic. "He'll totally understand, and anyway, it was my fault. I distracted you with all my crochet questions."

"No, no, it was mine," I refuted, my breathing picking up at the thought of disappointing and upsetting Jin. "I—I should have an old grocery list in my iCloud notes, but I haven't synced them yet, and I don't know how; Ryker always set my phones up because he said I was too dumb to know how, and he always—he just broke the others one and made me buy more, so—"

Panting, I whimpered, "Taehyung, I—I don't have time to send it by 9, and Jin will be so upset and tell me to leave—"

"Faeryn, no, no, he won't." He made it to my side quickly, his hands on my shoulders as he applied reassuring pressure. "It's okay, I promise. Jin isn't like Ryker." There was an inkling of anger in his voice, but he pushed it back, keeping reassurance in the front line of his tone. "He won't break your phone or be upset that you forgot. Trust me," he insisted. "I've forgotten things he's said countless times, and maybe he gets annoyed, but that's because I've done it so many times. This is your first time; he won't be mad."

My lips trembled. "Taehyung."

"Hey." He patted my back. "It's okay. Why don't—hey. Why don't I sync your iCloud for you? I'm not as tech-savvy as Jin, but I've done it before with my phone."

Hope filtered through me. "Really?"

"Yeah, of course!" He guided me to the bed, easing me into a sitting position. "Here; do you want me to walk you through it? It's super easy—you'll see." He squeezed my shoulder. "Okay? Just try to relax; I promise this is all okay."

I looked at the clock where it read 8:55 PM, holding my breath as I watched Taehyung navigate to settings. "Okay," he began. "So, what we need to do is tap here where it says 'Show all'." He angled the phone to ensure I could view it. "Then we tap notes and press...ah, here it is; sync all."

He nudged the phone into my hands. "Do you want to press it?"

I did so shakily, inhaling sharply when his fingers soothed over mine to calm them. Once I pressed the button, the sync began.

8:56 PM.

"Will it take long?" I whispered, imagining all the ways Jin could show his anger toward me—just like Ryker had.

"Not long," he promised. "Just a minute." When my worry didn't ease, he suggested, "Why don't you list off the safe foods and I'll write them down on my notes? I can text them to you and you can copy and paste them in your text to Jin."

Hopeful, I nodded. "Yes, I—I want to do that."

"Okay," he encouraged, retrieving his phone from near the headboard. "Whenever you're ready."

I rattled off everything I could remember, clutching the top of my lounge pants anxiously. Once we created the list, he texted it to me, and I quickly sent it to Jin just as the time turned 9 PM.

Relieved, I released a short, thrilled breath. "We did it."

"We did." He smiled up at me as I jumped to my feet, clutching where my heart was beating rapidly.

"I thought we might not make it in time, but we did," I continued breathlessly. "And now he won't be mad at me." My smile wobbled. "We did it."

His smile dimmed, concern quickly replacing it. "He wouldn't have been mad at you."

"But now I—I don't have to find out."

He was quiet, tugging at his blankets. "Faeryn?"

I shifted from foot to foot, my breath slowly returning from the sudden scare. "Yes?"

"Ryker was dumb to think that you were dumb." His eyes relayed his anger. "I'm sorry he confused you like this. Not everyone is as cruel as he is."

I faltered, slowly lowering to sit back down beside him. "Oh."

"It's okay," he said, determined. "You'll be with us for three months; that's long enough to see that we're not like Ryker."

My throat worked with emotion. "Taehyung?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think you're like him."

Hope swirled in his irises. "You don't?"

"No," I murmured, the sides of our thighs brushing. "You've been nice to me since we met, and...I really like you." My cheeks brightened immediately, and I watched him do the same. "I—I meant as a friend," I tried to amend, pushing aside the butterflies erupting in my stomach at our proximity. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by saying that."

"No, no, it's—no, it's totally fine." His smile was wavering as much as he tried to keep it, and his crestfallen features didn't go unnoticed by me. "Totally."

"It would be complicated otherwise, right?" I rambled, Lyric's previous discussion in the bathroom swirling in my mind. "Because I'm staying here and working at HYBE, and—" I cut myself off, my embarrassment spiking. "Oh, I—I didn't mean to say that I wanted it to be otherwise; I'm just saying that—I mean that—" I blanked, shaking my hands in distress.

"I get it." His voice was high-pitched. "Totally." When I kept shaking my hands, he tentatively took hold of them, applying gentle pressure. "It's really okay, Faeryn. Totally."

I swallowed. "You're...you're saying totally a lot."

He laughed, the sound as high-pitched as his words. "I say it when I'm nervous. Not that I'm nervous around you, that's—shit, that's not what I meant to say, but this conversation is making me nervous because I like you—I mean, as a friend!" he blurted hurriedly. "Totally as a friend, and no matter what, I want to keep being your friend—of course, I mean, only if that's okay with you."

"Yes," I breathed out quickly. "I want to keep being your friend." Trying to ignore how my heart dropped when he stated he only liked me as a friend, I smiled wobbly. "Friends."

He released a strained breath. "Totally."

My brows knitted together. "I'm sorry you're nervous."

"No, no, don't be."

"Friends worry about friends sometimes."

His smile came easier to him at that, and he gently nudged my arm. "Stealing my words now."

"That's what friends do." I wrinkled my nose. "I think."

He laughed a bit, and at the sound, I brightened, turning and hugging him. Against his shoulder, I murmured, "Perfect."

His body relaxed against mine, and he returned in the same tone, "Perfect."

My phone dinged, and reluctantly, Taehyung released me so I could check it.

Wiping my nose, I managed a tired, relieved smile. "It's Jin; he said he would add it to the grocery list."

"See?" Taehyung prompted kindly. "All good."

"All good," I agreed, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look tired."

"Yeah, but I want to crochet for a little bit longer." I nuzzled against him. "With you."

He relaxed against me, nodding along with my words. "Yeah, of course. We can crochet for as long as you want."

As long as I wanted wasn't too long, and up against the headboards with him, I ended up with my face in his chest and legs curled up comfortably to the side.

Half-asleep, I barely comprehended him moving the yarn and crochet hooks away, making sure we didn't lose any crochet markers, and I murmured my appreciation, knowing he heard me when he patted my back lightly, a touch I was quickly becoming accustomed to.

The TV playing on low in the background, I barely noticed when he carefully removed my earplugs.

"Faeryn," he whispered. "I'm going to carry you to bed."

"No," I protested drowsily. "Just a little longer, please."

"Okay," he murmured. "That's okay."

Keeping me close to him, he arranged the blankets around me, almost as warm as him but not quite. His warmth radiated from the inside and out, sweet, caring, and fortifying haven.

I fell asleep, comforted by his warmth, and my cheeks were void of fresh tears while he held me in his arms.

 

Notes:

I hope you're enjoying this so far! I'll see you next week on Tuesday 2 PM EST for the next chapter <3

Chapter 7: Take Me To Bed

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

In the morning, I blinked blearily, confused as to where I was. The mattress was comfier than the guest room, and the pillow was sturdier. Warmer.

Nuzzling into it before I lifted my face, and my lips parted in surprise when I realized where I was; Taehyung's room.

Last night came rushing back; the TV show's credits, the crochet kit being pushed aside, me pleading for more time with Taehyung—we'd fallen asleep together; on his bed.

My cheeks flushed as the warmth from his body seeped into mine, causing my stomach to swoop with an assortment of feelings.

Unused to them and therefore unsure how to deal with them, I quickly untangled myself from him—or tried to. His arms tightened around me, a low groan leaving him at my attempts to leave. The sound caused my stomach to flare with heat, but when I peeked down at him, his eyes were closed and his chest was rising and falling steadily; he was still asleep.

He was so warm; I wanted to snuggle into him and sleep the day away, comfortable and safe, but on the other hand, this was new, therefore, inciting alarms in my mind.

"Taehyung," I tried shakily. We were friends—we said so last night—but the heat coiling in my stomach pointed towards how I felt otherwise. "Wake up."

He groaned softly in response, the sound getting lost in my tangled hair.

"Taehyung." I shook him carefully. Gently. "It's morning."

He inhaled deeply, exhaling his warm breath and causing goosebumps to rise along my skin. "Hm?"

"Morning," I repeated, preening when his fingers tangled in my hair and gently scratched the back of my head.

"Morning?" he mumbled. "Already?" Nudging his cheek against mine, he slowly opened his eyes as his lips parted in a yawn. "Morning."

I could barely breathe so near him, much less speak with his eyes on mine, and I watched as a drowsy smile filled his features. "Pretty." He sleepily nudged his nose against my cheek. "You're so pretty, Faeryn."

I froze as giddiness mixed with my rapid breathing. He was half asleep—he didn't mean it, and still, my blush threatened to overtake me.

Pushing his face back into the pillow, he was asleep in seconds, and his grip on me loosened enough for me to slip out of his arms as much as I wished not to.

Quietly padding across the floor, I opened the door and shut it behind him, catching my breath in the hall. I didn't get much chance to catch it when I came face-to-face with Jungkook who was watching me with red-fanned cheeks and wide-doe eyes. His eyes darted to where I'd exited Taehyung's room, my mussed hair, and my flushed cheeks, and his lips created an 'O' as he blinked rapidly to assess.

I realized the indication, and flustered, I shook my hands around in denial. "We just fell asleep by accident—that's all, I swear."

He took a step back, then another, and with a tightened grip on his toothbrush, he bolted and slammed the bathroom door behind him.

Burning with embarrassment and still wobbly from Taehyung's warmth, I rubbed my temples as I trudged to the guest room.

Jungkook had left the bathroom by the time I returned, giving me the ability to brush my teeth and shower, and once I had, I opened the door to find Taehyung.

He was more awake than before, and at the sight of me, a smile filled his features instantly. "Hey! How'd you sleep?"

"Oh, I—I slept great." Slowly exiting the bathroom, I tentatively wondered, "Did you?"

"Yeah!" He ruffled his hair, his smile following his head tilt. "When did you leave my room? I don't remember falling asleep during the show last night."

He didn't remember this morning.

I chuckled awkwardly. "Twenty minutes ago."

"Oh! Really?" Color slowly fused into his cheeks, and his voice sunk into an embarrassed whisper. "That...wasn't a dream?"

"What...wasn't a dream?"

"Uh...maybe it's better if I don't say." His blush made me think he was alluding to calling me pretty, gifting me with a blush of my own. "You don't...I mean, you don't remember anything...weird this morning?"

I hesitated before revealing, "You—I mean, you called me pretty."

He paled. "Oh god. Faeryn, I'm—I'm so sorry. I thought I was sleeping; I never would have done that if I knew I was awake."

My features fell. "Oh."

"I'm so sorry," he stressed. "I didn't mean to freak you out. We just talked about being only friends, and I went and did that—"

The worry and anxiety in his features tugged at my heart, and as he continued rambling, I stepped to him and hugged him tightly. "It's okay," I reassured him. "You thought you were dreaming."

"I'm still so sorry if I made you uncomfortable," he continued worriedly. "I'll never do that while I'm awake, I promise."

I laughed a bit, nuzzling against his chest now that the opportunity presented itself. "I know."

He relaxed a bit, but not fully, and wanting him to, I leaned back to add, "I think you're handsome, and I'm saying that while I'm awake. See?" I prompted, showing a big smile to calm him. "No big deal."

His blush heightened as he visibly melted. "Really?"

"Of course," I agreed. "I mean, friends can notice if their friends are pretty and handsome, right?"

"Right." He released a relieved breath. "That's right. And you're...very pretty." He blinked. "Is that okay to say?"

I nodded quickly. "It's okay. Really okay."

"Oh, good." He further relaxed. "Then you are. Really pretty, I mean."

"Thank you." I couldn't bite back my giddy smile. "And you're really handsome. I...I like your hair, and you have really pretty eyes."

"Really?" His fingers absently touched his wavy, black hair. "Because I was thinking that you had the prettiest hair. It's golden brown, and the sun makes it look a little red." His features softened as if he was remembering a time when it had. "And your brown eyes are beautiful." He loosed a breath. "Really pretty, Faeryn."

I preened, hugging him once more. "You're so nice."

He hugged me back as tightly as I hugged him. "So are you."

"We leave in an hour!" Jin called from somewhere downstairs. "Everyone get breakfast and go!"

Agreement echoed from different areas of the house, and taking the cue, I followed along as Taehyung did the same.

I pulled away to let him enter the bathroom, offering a shy wave as he did the same back, promising to see me at breakfast.

I ran into Namjoon at the stairs, apologizing hurriedly for bumping into him, but he was in a hurry, only stabilizing me before I could fall and continuing upstairs. My shoulders heated from his heavy hands, and I twined my hands together as I entered the kitchen.

I saw Jimin first, dressed in comfortable attire that clung to all the right places; his chest, his arms, his thighs—

He heard me coming, smiling as soon as he saw me. "Hey." Adjusting the cuff of his shirt sleeve, he jutted his chin toward the counter. "I brewed some tea."

Flying toward him, I stopped right in front of him, breathless from Taehyung, Namjoon, and now him. Eagerly, I beamed up at him. "Thank you!" Shifting onto my tip-toes, I wondered, "Is it okay if I gave you a hug?"

His features eased, and his smile turned fond. "For some tea?"

"It's really nice," I returned, suddenly shy and taking a step back. "But I don't need a hug; I can just—"

He chuckled, gently grabbing my arm and tugging me into his arms. "Come here."

Easing into him, I hid my face in his shoulder, nearly purring when his warm hands caressed my back up and down, up and down.

"How'd you sleep?" he prompted. "Okay?"

"Okay," I said as I melted into him. "Really okay."

"Really okay," he echoed, amused and fond. "Good."

Breakfast was quick and easy, and Ryker didn't show up at work, making me feel light and at ease.

My thoughts throughout the day circulated Taehyung, but the others kept slinking their way in. How snug their clothes fit, how handsome they looked—and how deep Yoongi's morning voice was. There was so much to think about when it came to them; their firm, reassuring words and touches, their kindness and lingering gazes, the unfamiliar but wanted heat they evoked from within me—it was too much, and I was giddy while I worked, almost dizzy with it.

Back at their house after work and a nice dinner of homemade sushi—courtesy of Jin—I settled into the living room couch to crochet. Attempting to turn the TV on, Netflix sported an error message, meaning I couldn't watch Camp Cretaceous. Panicked at first and not wanting to bother anyone by asking for help, I browsed the watch options. When I noticed another familiar TV show, I breathed a sigh of relief and clicked on it.

The theme song played, a 2012 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I relaxed into drinking tea from my strawberry cup through a straw and crocheting something for Jin. I wanted to do something for him after his kind offer to buy me my safe foods, and from what I'd seen, he liked Resident Evil, so I would make him a Leon Kennedy amigurumi—the main character of the game.

Almost finished with attaching the feet, I peeked up when I heard someone approaching. Jungkook appeared shuffling across the floor in socks, freezing when he realized I was there.

I lifted the hand with my crochet hook, causing my yarn to slinker across the couch. Carefully leaning across the cushions to grab it, I slowly set it back beside me, blinking back at Jungkook who still hadn't moved.

My tongue felt as frozen as he looked, but I wondered if he felt like he was imposing. I didn't want him to feel like that—it was his home, not mine, and he shouldn't have been uncomfortable in the place he should feel the most comfort.

"Hi," I rushed out. "Do you want to watch TV? You can pick whatever you want."

He blinked in unison with me, slowly turning to view the TV where the turtles were fighting the Krang.

Regarding me skeptically, a sudden warrior cry from one of the turtles caught his attention, and startled, he jumped slightly and turned back to the TV. Idly, I angled the crochet hook across my fingers while I watched him become enraptured in the show, and after a few minutes of his lack of movement—only rapid eye movement as he followed along with the plot—I returned to crocheting with a small smile.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, only that I'd crocheted the legs into the body and had begun building the rows, but a sudden movement took my attention from my work.

Jungkook had seated himself a few feet from me, but not on the couch. On the floor. With his legs in a cross-cross position, he held his ankles as he lifted his chin to view the show. "Why are they talking turtles?" he asked carefully, his eyes trained on the TV with intrigued precision.

"They were mutated," I explained, slipping my hook into the next stitch. "When they were turtles in a pet shop."

"What does that mean?"

"Something called mutagen mutated them and took them from regular turtles to mutated, talking turtles."

"Oh." The sides of his feet tapped the ground. "Why?"

"The Krang; those squishy brain guys."

"The aliens?"

"Yeah."

He gnawed on the inside of his cheek in concentration. "Why are there aliens?"

"So they can fight against them. There's the Foot Clan too, and Shredder and whoever works for him."

"Shredder?"

I paused. "Do you want me to spoil it for you?"

He chewed on his lip, and before he could respond, he got roped back into the show. Back to my crochet project, I kept my eyes on it while I answered whatever questions Jungkook came up with, but after a while, I became enraptured in a few of my favorite episodes, and my work was neglected on my lap.

"The Krang," Jungkook whispered, a few of his fingers brought to his mouth as he anxiously watched the fight. "They're going to win."

I watched his reaction giddily, knowing the show and the outcome of each episode. "Look," I told him, pointing at the TV screen. "Did you notice that?"

"No," he breathed out. "Saw it now."

Slipping off the couch to join him, he glanced at me, startled, but was too caught up in the show to ruminate on it.

"The Krang," he said quietly so he could still hear the show. "Do you know if they win?"

"Yeah, I've watched this show before."

He looked at me then. "Can you tell me if the turtles survive?"

"You want me to spoil it?" I wondered, curious.

His shoulders lifted slightly, and he averted his eyes. "Yeah." His voice lowered into a mumble. "I get too anxious if I don't know if the characters I like survive or not."

"Oh," I voiced my understanding. "Well, it's a little more complicated than that, but they all live a long life. It goes through a lot of years."

He nodded slowly. "But they're okay?"

"Yeah, they're okay," I assured him. "Promise."

His shoulders slumped, and he nodded again. "That's good."

"Yeah," I agreed amicably. "It is. And I'll tell you anything else about the show if you ever feel anxious, okay? Just let me know."

He viewed me skeptically again. "Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh." His features, usually withdrawn and cinched, loosened, and a small, shy smile crept onto his lips. "Okay." He began turning back to the TV before he remembered to hastily add, "Thanks."

I lit up. "Of course!"

Beside him, I told him everything he needed to know, pointing out details vital to the plot and explaining the backstory of episodes he missed.

A new character came on the screen, a humanoid character named Leatherhead, and soon, he was laughing at the character banter, little gasped giggles leaving him. The sound made me light up, and soon, we were both giggling and repeating phrases the characters said, only edging on our laughter.

A sudden voice snapped our attention toward the entrance of the living room, and Jungkook offered a wave when he saw who it was; Namjoon.

"Hyung," he exclaimed, pointing at the TV with a happy flush settling on his cheeks. "Look what I'm watching."

Namjoon took in the sight of the two of us huddled together on the floor instead of on the couch, my yarn slightly unraveled around my ankles, and mutant turtles running around on the screen.

He quirked a brow. "Want to tell me what you're watching, bub?"

Jungkook nodded, squeezing his ankles as he rocked side-to-side slightly. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"Yeah?" Namjoon smiled a bit when Jungkook nodded again, quicker this time. "You like it?"

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "It has fighting in it and aliens called—" He paused, his nose scrunching up in thought, and momentarily, he looked at me for assistance.

Understanding, I concluded, "The Krang."

"Right." Jungkook pursed his lips. "The turtles don't die, Joon, so that's good."

Namjoon stood, his arms crossed as he viewed the show but more so viewed us. Our dynamic. "Say thank you," he instructed.

Jungkook glanced at him with furrowed brows. "What?"

"She gave you an answer," Namjoon reiterated. "Say thank you."

"Oh." Jungkook pivoted slightly, peeking over at me. "Thanks."

The subtle dominance Namjoon held caused my head to spin, and I sputtered an incoherent response before pressing my lips together, not wanting to embarrass myself further.

"All right," Namjoon said presently, removing his attention from the TV. "I came down here because you didn't respond to your text."

Jungkook, his eyes still on the TV, said, "I don't have my phone."

"I can see that."

Jungkook angled his head to view him, slightly red. "Sorry, Hyung."

"That's all right. Too busy having fun, hm?"

The pretty red color dusted Jungkook's cheeks again. "Yeah."

"Good." Namjoon chuckled. "I just wanted to check to see if you were already in bed; remind you of your routine."

"I'll take them," Jungkook said in an undertone, glancing at me quickly before averting his eyes. "I won't forget."

"All right," Namjoon said, softer than before. "Just a gentle reminder; that's all. You're not in trouble."

Jungkook shrugged, embarrassed, and his fingers tapped against his ankles for solace.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything," Namjoon revealed, preparing to take his exit. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jungkook mumbled.

Namjoon switched his attention to me. "Good night, Faeryn." He took note of the couch. "What are you making?"

I jolted at the sudden attention, and excited for the opportunity to talk about my project, I relayed, "It's a stuffed animal from a video game."

"Ah."

"It's—well, it's a surprise."

"A surprise?" He paused in his exit, slightly amused. "For?"

"Jin," I revealed with pink-tainted cheeks. "He likes the game, and he was so nice to offer to buy my safe food, so I just—I wanted to do something nice for him." In a whisper, I wondered, "Do you think he'll like it?"

Namjoon hummed in response. "That's a nice project, Faeryn. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed, his knees now pulled close to his chest as he rested his chin upon them. "Jin hyung will like it; he says he likes the thought more than the gift."

Namjoon smiled. "He does."

Encouraged, I beamed. "That's good." To make sure we were all on the same page, I pressed, "So we'll keep it a secret, right? All three of us?"

"Sure." Namjoon made his exit, calling over his shoulder. "It's safe with me."

"Me too," Jungkook whispered, quiet again for the sake of the show. "I won't tell."

Smiling softly at him, I whispered right back, "Thank you."

He gnawed lightly on his sweatshirt's sleeve. "Yeah."

In my room that night, I stayed up late crocheting Jin's surprise. I staved off watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to watch it with Jungkook, and instead—now that Netflix was working—I watched Camp Cretaceous until I inevitably fell asleep with yarn surrounding me.

꧁꧂

 

It had been a week of officially living with everyone. I was most familiar with Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok, finding it easier to talk with them, but Jungkook had appeared twice after dinner to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with me.

Last night, he rambled to Namjoon about the show over dinner, a happy flush on his features and his phone neglected near Jin, and I caught the approving look Namjoon sent my way. I inwardly reeled, proud of receiving it, and happily ate the rest of my food. At the same time, Jungkook continued recapping the show to the attentive audience that Namjoon was, occasionally humming and nodding to show his interest, and always asking questions in the right places.

I finished the crochet amigurumi of Leon Kennedy for Jin, and I was waiting for the perfect time to give it to him. After a few of us, including him, unpacked groceries—which included each safe food on my list—I thought it was a perfect time and ran to the guest room to retrieve it.

When I returned to the kitchen, Jin was pulling out ingredients for a snack. Feeling indescribably awkward and shy, I forced myself to walk up to him while repeating a mantra that I was okay until I reached him. Hoping my voice would come out clear and steady, I tried, "Jin?"

He turned slightly, looking down at me in question.

Taking a deep breath, I held up the amigurumi. "I made this for you." Quickly, I added, "If you don't like it, please don't feel like you have to keep it. I can just—I can make it better, or I can donate it, but you can tell me." I nodded fiercely. "It's okay."

He put the loaf of bread he'd been holding down, instead lowering his height to mine. Holding his hand out, palm up, he inquired with his dark eyes on mine, "May I?"

I released it to him immediately, shifting from foot to foot as I awaited his consensus.

Turning it over meticulously in his hand, he ran his thumb over the stitches, taking special care to take note of the details on the crocheted hair.

"Faeryn." His eyes shifted back to mine. "You're very talented."

I nearly swooned. "Thank you so much. I—I hope you like it."

"I do." He cocked his head as he took in my timid expression. "You were nervous to give this to me."

I squeaked in surprise at how easily he read me. "I just wanted you to like it."

"Even if, by chance, I didn't, you should be proud of this." He dipped his chin, approval laced within his words. "Thank you."

I swayed side to side, enamored by him and his cologne that I'd come to recognize and enjoy, and I showed a dazed smile.

"I'll add this to my set-up." He resumed his height. "When you spoke of Resident Evil last, you called the infected zombies."

"I know the creators don't want to call them zombies," I confirmed, wide-eyed, "but the infected are zombies."

His lips twitched. "From your switch of speech to zombies to infected, I knew you were familiar with the game."

When he moved toward the loaf of bread once more, I instinctively followed.

"Yeah," I agreed breathily. "I really like that game. I watched it first during a game-play online, and then I played it."

"Ah." His tone was deep and teasing, something that had my stomach uncurling and burning with tumultuous desire. "You cheated."

"No, I—I wasn't planning on playing the game," I half-heartedly defended, more keen on watching his forearm muscles ripple while he cut into a block of lettuce for his sandwich. "But then the gameplay was so interesting that I thought I would try."

"Mhm." He grabbed a plate, and I was thrilled that I could hear the smile in his voice. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," I admitted.

"Are turkey sandwiches a safe food?"

I glanced at the turkey he was using, then at the lettuce and condiments. "Can I make myself a cheese sandwich?"

"Get the cheese for me."

I listened, scurrying over to the fridge. "I didn't get too far in the gameplay," I made sure he knew, eager to prove myself. "Just about thirty minutes."

"Those are an important thirty minutes of cheating."

I bounded back to him with the cheese packet in hand. "I finished the game without any more gameplay after that. That's good, right?"

"It is." He took the cheese from me, setting bread down on an extra plate for me. "Condiments?"

"Mustard," I said.

"On cheese?"

"It's good," I insisted. "Promise."

"I'm sure it is." He peeled back the wrapping for the cheese. "For you."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Like how turkey is good for you."

"Mm." He made my sandwich before he made his, and I thanked him a few times before taking a bite, showing a thumbs-up once I did.

He smiled again, turning to work on his sandwich. "Good."

As he leaned against his counter to eat, I found the bravery to ask, "What other games do you like?"

"There's a variety of them," he said after swallowing a bite of food. "Games with heavy storylines are the ones I stray to." He licked his bottom lip, and I fervently watched his tongue capture the inkling of escaped sauce. "Have you played 'The Last of Us'."

I brightened. "I love that one. 'Life is Strange'?"

"Mm. That one as well."

"'Until Dawn'?"

He cocked a brow, impressed, and I preened. "Yes." Before I could continue, he prompted, "What are you currently playing?"

"Oh. I—well, I—" I blinked a few times, turning my attention to my sandwich. "I don't have my console anymore. Ryker—I mean—" I cut myself off, hating how I'd ruined the flow I had going. "I just don't have one anymore."

The smiles in his eyes vanished immediately, and I missed it dearly. "Did he break your console?"

My breath hitched. "I don't want to talk about it if that's okay."

He nodded slowly, watching me closely enough that I kept avoiding looking at any part of his face, much less his eyes.

A minute passed of silence.

"Would you like to play on my console?"

I blinked, quickly looking up at him. "What?" I sputtered. "But it's yours."

"I'm more than capable of sharing."

"I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to imply that you weren't—"

"It was a joke, Faeryn."

"Oh."

He set his plate down, nearly finished but not quite. "I was planning on playing a new game this weekend. As it seems, it has a two-player option." He lifted a brow in question. "Would you like to join me?"

My heart pounded in my chest, and all the blood rushed to my face. "Yes," I breathed out. "If that's okay."

"It is." He gestured to my sandwich. "Finish up. You can do whatever you'd like after this."

"Okay," I managed, reeling. "Thank you."

I was floating in a happy bubble by the time I finished my sandwich and headed upstairs. In the guest room, I folded the few clothes I had and debated on whether I should take a night bath. Without my few belongings still at Ryker's—if he hadn't destroyed them by now—I didn't have much to do.

I could crochet, but my hands were aching from the amount I'd done recently, and I didn't have any new projects in mind to start. I missed my comfort books and journals I kept, things that kept me busy and comforted.

Teetering toward a nighttime bath for something to do, a knock on my door startled me out of my thoughts. Heading over to the door, I was surprised to see Jungkook behind it.

I blinked. "Hi."

He held a bag of popcorn and wore bulky headphones. They looked soft and cushiony around his head and ears, and while I wondered about their effectiveness in blocking out sound, he shifted from foot to foot whilst staring at me.

I stared back, my confusion growing at the silence. "Did...you need something?"

He clutched the popcorn bag tighter, making it wrinkle. "You're not watching TV."

"No, I—no, I'm not." My confusion heightened. "I was thinking of taking a bath."

Something akin to disappointment painted his face. "But you always watch TV at night."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But my hands are tired from crocheting, and I'm a little tired." I trailed off when he fiddled with the popcorn bag, his disappointment growing. "Why?"

To be fair, he looked confused as to why he was disappointed, only able to offer a shrug. 

"I don't know," he confessed. "You just—you weren't in the living room, so I came to find you." He blinked. "And you're here, not downstairs."

I faltered, slowly realizing what was occurring. I'd created a schedule—a routine—and he'd fallen into it. I'd unknowingly thrown him out of it, leaving him rumpled and misconfigured. The other night, Namjoon reminded him of his night routine, and it seemed I'd throw him out of it and into a new one without realizing it.

Because of my Autism, I needed structure; if my routine was broken, my entire day would be thrown off and I wouldn't be able to properly function. It varied, especially if I was too tired to continue with a routine or if it was a new one I'd created and was easier to break like watching TV after dinner—since I wasn't allowed to do so at Ryker's.

It seemed as if Jungkook needed structure as well, whether he realized it or not, and empathizing with him, I left my room. "I can take a bath later."

His nibbling on his bottom lip was stopped by my sudden declaration. "What?"

"We can watch TV." I headed down the hall, motioning for him to follow. He had even gotten popcorn. "Come on."

He stared at me for all of three seconds before hurrying after me, and once in line with me, I could see the change in his features. He was more relaxed, and an eagerness had settled in.

"Will we watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?" he wondered as descended the stairs.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," I confirmed with a bright smile. "I think you're going to like the next couple of episodes."

"You haven't watched it without me?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"No, of course not." I hopped off the last step, my smile inching upward when he did the same. "We're watching it together."

"Yeah." His shoulders relaxed, hunching forward slightly. "Together."

In the living room, it didn't take long for him to return to the giggles that would find him during the show.

Exhausted, I watched for a while, managing a few episodes before teetering into dreamland. When I was sure I was completely absolved in it, I heard a few familiar voices enter the scene. They sounded like Hoseok and Taehyung, and I smiled in my sleep, inching closer to whatever warmth I was receiving; sturdy and comfortable.

Just like with Jin earlier, I loved that I could hear the smile in Hoseok and Taehyung's voices. It made me feel like they truly meant it, unlike when Ryker would fake it at first to lure me into his facade. I wished back then that I could close my eyes to prove that I couldn't hear his smile, but maybe that didn't matter anymore. My new friends said that Ryker couldn't hurt me at HYBE, and he certainly couldn't hurt me at their house, so I pushed the awful thought of him aside as I tried to continue my pleasant dream of smiles.

"She was tired," I heard Jungkook say, his voice close. "She said she was going to take a bath, but she watched TV with me instead."

"She's very sweet," it was Hoseok who spoke next, and I mewled, nuzzling and curling closer to the warmth.

"We should carry her to bed," Taehyung advised. "She'll hurt her neck in that position."

"It's not a bad position," Jungkook defended. "My shoulder's comfortable."

"Yes," Hoseok chuckled. "But in her position, it'll strain her neck from leaning to the side."

"Yeah," Jungkook relented. "I guess."

"You guess," Hoseok teased fondly. "Here, give her to me. I'll take her to bed."

"I can take her to bed," Taehyung offered. "I do that sometimes when she falls asleep."

"I know you do," Hoseok returned. "But you're tired yourself, and I don't want you to drop her."

Indignantly, Taehyung negated, "I wouldn't drop her, even if I was half-asleep."

"Mhm." Hoseok sounded closer than before. "Careful with her neck." I was repositioned, then lifted into someone's arms, and by the distinct smell of vanilla fabric softener, I recognized it as Hoseok.

I snuggled into his chest, looping my arms around his neck as I clung to him sleepily. "Hoseok," I mumbled, unsure if I was still in my dream or not. "I was watching TV with Jungkook."

"Yeah?" He began walking me out of the living room; I could feel the motions as my eyes remained closed. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah." I hid my face in his shirt, rubbing my face around in it and greedily inhaling the vanilla scent. "I had fun." As an afterthought, I told him, "I didn't take a bath."

"That's okay." His chin nudged the top of my head gently. "You can take a bath tomorrow."

"Really?" I melted. "Okay." I held onto him tighter. "You smell so good, like your fabric softener."

His chest vibrated with a low chuckle, and I shivered at the sensations it caused. "You can smell that?"

"Yeah." I squirmed happily when he lightly patted my back before rubbing slow circles into it. "I have a sensitive nose."

"I'm glad you like the fabric softener I use." He sounded amused, yet fondness flickered in his tone. "You can use it anytime you want for your clothes."

I squeezed him tight. "You're so nice."

"And you're very sweet."

I preened, breathing in the comfort surrounding the darkness of his shirt.

In the guest room, he carefully set me down, keeping me close to stabilize me. "Do you want to change into your pajamas?"

"Yeah." I toppled over when I tried to walk to my neatly folded pajamas, giggling when a wavy of exhaustion swept over me.

"Can you change into your pajamas?" he teased, tickling beneath my chin lightly as he swooped me back into his arms.

My giggles increased, and I squealed when he dropped me onto the bed. Pushing me up against the headboard, he brought my pajamas to me, shaking them lightly with a teasing smile. Giddy at how he'd easily arranged me into the position he needed me in, I nearly swooned, smiling dazedly up at him.

"You can change while sitting down," he told me, chuckling when my head lulled to the side. "It'll be quick, and then you can get some sleep. That sounds good, doesn't it?"

I agreed, leaning into his hand when he repositioned my head to keep me from falling.

"Good," he praised, lifting himself to his full height. The sight of him towering over me while I was sitting in bed made me erupt into flames, and I released a bite-sized squeak, immediately reaching for him.

"What?" He chuckled, allowing me to draw him to me. "What do you need, Faeryn? I'm right here."

With a whine, I nuzzled into his hand, smiling drowsily when he curled his fingers into my hair and kept me in place with a firm yet gentle grasp on my face.

"Does this feel nice?" His voice was sultry and refined, making me push myself closer—needing more. "Hm? A little massage feels nice right before bed?"

I nodded happily, my eyes fluttering when his fingers continued their meticulous work on my scalp.

Mewling, I fell forward and face planted in his chest. When he chuckled and the vibrations sent shivers through me, I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut as unfamiliar feelings of pleasure coursed through me.

"Shh," he murmured. "You're okay. You're feeling tired, aren't you?"

I managed a nod, and carefully, he rearranged me into the pillows. When I began to protest, wanting to say with him, he reassured me, "It's okay; we're just getting you under the blankets."

Settling slightly, I gripped his hand to ensure he wasn't leaving as he helped me under the blankets. Once he tucked them securely around me and up to my chin, my features shone up at him.

"Hoseok," I lisped, feeling myself drift further away every second. "Stay?"

He traced the side of my face with his fingers. "You want me to stay?"

I nodded quickly, my actions fueled by eagerness. "Please."

"All right," he conceded, his thumb caressing my cheek. "Until you fall asleep."

"Thank you," I breathed out, my eyelids taking the liberty to close now that I knew he would stay with me. "Now I can have nice dreams."

His thumb applied slight pressure. "You don't have nice dreams when you sleep alone?"

"No." I shook my head. "I have dreams about Ryker, but now that you're here, maybe that won't happen." Hopefully, I squeezed his hand. "Thank you."

His touch turned rigid, and when I opened his eyes, anger had made a home within his forehead creases. "Are you afraid to sleep?"

"Sometimes," I admitted, smacking my lips together tiredly. "I used to be scared of mornings because if I wasn't quiet enough, Ryker would punish me, but I like mornings here, so I'm not that scared of them anymore."

Irritation flooded his face, and his brows wavered and twitched as he took in my words. "You shouldn't be scared to sleep, Faeryn, and he had no right to hurt you." In a quieter voice, anger still straining his voice, he said, "Try to sleep; Ryker can't get to you, and I'm right here with you."

Relaxing into the mattress and soft blankets, it didn't take any more persuading from him, and I fell asleep to his comforting words and touch.

꧁꧂

 

I woke up rested—maybe too rested. I'd slept through my alarm, and with a startled yelp, I jumped off my bed and hurried to get ready.

By the time I raced downstairs, Taehyung was heading up them, and our eyes widened at the sudden surprise before we beamed at each other.

"Slept in?" he questioned, pivoting and offering me his arm. Taking it, we descended the rest of the stairs.

"A little," I admitted bashfully.

"Don't worry about it," he chirped. "That means your body needed sleep, and you gave it what it needed."

I smiled up at him, put at ease by his words and cheerful demeanor. "Best."

"Best?"

"Yeah. You're the best."

He blushed, his features breaking into the most genuine smile. "Thanks! You're the best, and I'm not only saying it because you're saying it. It's because it's true, but you beat me to saying it."

I giggled, nudging him playfully as we walked off the last step. "Of course."

He put a hand to his heart. "Are you using sarcasm with me right now?"

I beamed. "Yeah!"

He cracked up at my excitement as we both giddily headed to the door.

"I packed breakfast for you in the car when I realized you were a little late," he told me, opening the car door for me.

I thanked him, earning a pleasant surprise when I saw Hoseok in the backseat. Last night came flickering back in flashes, but what mattered most was the warmth that spread through me at the thought of him, and before each memory could make much sense, I exclaimed, "Hi!"

He looked up from his phone, and his features softened at the sight of me. "Hey." Slipping his phone into his pocket, neglecting whatever his attention had been solely focused on, he traded it for me. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," I revealed, melting when he showed a warm smile in return. "Really good."

"Really good?" He watched me take a seat beside him instead of in shotgun. "Hm?"

Grabbing the seatbelt, I hesitated before whispering, "Can I hug you?"

"Yeah, sweetheart." His arm laced around my waist to tug me to him, and I immediately tucked myself into his form. "You can hug me."

The pet name caused my stomach to erupt in flames, and yet it also caused me to dissolve into a puddle. He made me feel warm and alive and something I didn't think I'd feel again; safe.

I felt it with Taehyung, and now I felt it with Hoseok. Two people were more people than I thought I'd ever trust again after Ryker broke my trust, but it felt okay. It felt like I was supposed to trust them; like it was the only option and the one that would wrap me in its warmth and make all my pain ease. Maybe it wouldn't fully disappear, but it would get better. Hugging Taehyung and Hoseok—even Jimin—made me feel like it could.

"Thank you," I murmured against his shoulder, holding him tightly. "For staying with me until I fell asleep."

"Of course." He stroked my hair, gentle and so, so soft. I wasn't sure how someone could be so firm and kind. "I want you to realize you're safe here, and if that helps, it's more than worth it."

I squeezed him tightly, and all I could manage was another thank you.

"You can talk about it," he murmured while Taehyung rounded the car to open his door. "If it makes you feel better or if it ever gets too much." Leaning back slightly, he brushed fallen strands of hair away from my cheeks. "Do you know where my room is?"

I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes from the kindness in his.

"It's a three doors down from the upstairs bathroom," he revealed. "And if you ever need me during the night, you come get me. Just knock until I open the door."

"I couldn't," I breathed out.

"You can," he returned. "I don't want you to struggle at night on your own."

"But I can do it," I made sure he knew; made sure he knew I was strong enough to. "I've done it by myself all this time."

"I know." Pain crossed his face, and I wanted to make it go away; I hate that something I said caused his comfort to vanish, and panicked, I swept my fingers across his face, my brows furrowed as I waited for his lips to ease the rigidness they held.

"It's okay," I whispered, my eyes solely focused on his lips as I waited. "I can do it."

"I know," he repeated, and when he cupped my face in his hands, my breath hitched and I looked into his eyes once more. "But you shouldn't have to. Okay? You come get me."

"Why?" I managed.

"Because," he murmured. "We could watch one of your favorite shows, anyone you'd like, we can talk about what's bothering you, or we could sit and wait until you feel safe enough to sleep; whatever helps, Faeryn, we'll do." His thumb caressed my cheek. "Okay?"

I pushed into his hand, and my eyes fluttered with appreciation. "Okay."

"Good." His low praise was a reward; one I wasn't sure I could get enough of. "Now buckle up." With another caress, he released me, gently nudging me into my seat. "Do you want to sit with me or up there with Taehyung?"

Turning, I realized Taehyung had entered the car, his attention drifting awkwardly from the console and the rearview mirror.

When I didn't respond, my heart tugging me in both directions, Taehyung grabbed the container with my breakfast and passed it to me, murmuring, "It's okay; you can sit back there."

Unsure, I held the container close. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course." He pushed the keys into the ignition, averting his eyes. "We're friends, Faeryn. You can sit wherever you want."

His words made me believe he meant it, but his distant body language said otherwise. I wasn't the best at distinguishing intent, so I decided to take it at face value, and hoping it would make him feel better, I added, "Best."

He took a breath, his hands tightening around the wheel. "What?"

"You're the best."

Slowly, a small, faint smile greeted his lips. "You too."

And as we drove to work, I felt more relaxed than I had in a while.

Notes:

there may or may not be a first kiss in the next chapter...🫣😏

also, apparently ao3 isn't sending out emails to people who are subscribed to this book whenever I post a new chapter, so just to let you know, I post every Tuesday at 2 PM EST. see you then 😩

Chapter 8: Your Lips, My Lips

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

After Jungkook and I watched TMNT a few nights later, I talked with Jimin on the couch, giggling when he showed me funny pictures on his phone. I hadn't taken Hoseok up on his offer to go to his room if I was scared, and I was sure I wouldn't need to. I was brave and strong, and I knew I could handle it.

After an hour of curling up next to Jimin on the couch, I head to bed, humming contentedly. My body buzzed from being so near to Jimin, and I smiled giddily, nearly skipping on the way to the hall bathroom.

The door was open, and I pushed it open further, freezing when I realized it was occupied. Jungkook stared at me, his doe eyes wide as if he were caught in the act. He held a pill bottle and half of a pill in the other, a bottle of water on the sink's counter.

I stared at the scene before me, backing up as the unknowing intruder. "I'm sorry," I managed. "I didn't know anyone was in here."

His fingers enclosed the pill, his eyes still as wide—if not wider.

When he didn't say anything, I awkwardly stepped back. Again, I told him, "I'm really sorry." About to bolt to my room to wait for my turn in the bathroom, he said quickly, "Don't laugh at me."

I paused. "What?"

There was a hint of fear in his eyes that confused me and tugged at my heart simultaneously. "Don't laugh," he repeated, more of a whisper than before. When his eyes flicked down to his pill bottle, I understood immediately, my brows bunched together as I rushed to assure him.

"I won't laugh at you," I promised quickly. "Never."

His throat bobbed. "You...you won't laugh?"

"No," I blurted, confused. "Why would I laugh at you?"

"For...for this." He shook the bottle lightly, embarrassment shading his cheeks at the sound. Regret overtook him, and I could see him try to hide in himself as his eyes shied away from mine.

"Why?" I repeated. "Why would I laugh because you take...medication?"

He jumped a bit, resorting to a helpless shrug.

"It's okay," I tried again, trying to soothe his blatant anxiety toward the situation. "I promise I won't laugh. Really. I don't think it's funny."

Dubiously, he pressed, "You don't?"

I shook my head quickly. "I don't really understand why anyone would laugh. It's just medication."

Still hesitant, his shoulders released some of their tension, and his fingers slowly uncurled. "Oh."

"Yeah," I concluded. "So don't worry." To offer more reassurance, I told him, "I used to take meds, too."

His eyes flew to mine. "You did?"

"Yeah." I shrugged a bit. "Risperidone."

"Why..." He shuffled slightly, his sock-padded feet scuffing the bathroom rug. "Why don't you take it anymore?"

"It made me feel worse," I explained. "Maybe...too much information, but constipation and weight gain and I fainted a few times." My nose scrunched. "Gross, right?"

"Right," he breathed out, and if I didn't know any better, worry and curiosity mingled in his face. "You don't take meds anymore?"

"No," I admitted, settling in the doorframe. "I couldn't find any that helped, and..." I shrugged again, but I felt the weight of my next words deeply. "There aren't really any medications made for what I deal with."

He blinked. "What do you deal with?"

I blinked right back. "What do you deal with?"

He hesitated, his lips parting with uncertainty. Slowly, cautiously, he pressed, "You won't laugh?"

"I promise," I swore. "I really do, Jungkook."

Still slightly uncertain, he nodded curtly. "Okay." He was quiet. "I will." I gave him time, waiting as seconds passed until he was ready to reveal, "ADHD."

My forehead creased. "Why do you think I'd laugh at that?"

He noticeably relaxed, exhaling shakily. "Other people have. Say it's just for kids."

I frowned. "That's not fair of them. ADHD doesn't just magically disappear in adulthood."

He perked up a bit. "Yeah."

"It's good that medication helps you," I praised, earning a timid smile from him. "There's nothing funny about that; it's just really good."

"Thanks." He fiddled with the bottle's cap. "What about you?"

I tensed but quickly relaxed when I saw how his anxiety affected him. He was just as nervous as I was, making something within me neglect my own anxiety to ease his.

With that in mind, I revealed, "Autism."

He stared at me. "Do you have ADHD, too?"

Startled, I wondered, "How did you know?"

"Oh." He tugged at his shirt sleeve. "I know that some people with Autism have ADHD too. It's pretty common."

"You looked into it?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah. The doctors thought I might've had Autism, but it's just ADHD." He smoothed his sleeve down to cover his wrists once more. "I didn't meet the criteria."

"Not everyone does," I agreed. "Most people have to take the test multiple times." I sighed quietly. "It depends on if it's a good psychologist or not, but a lot of them are biased."

"Yeah. My mom said it's easier for boys to get diagnosed and harder for women and girls. That's true, right?"

"Very true," I confirmed, taken aback. "It took me five times to get diagnosed when I was a kid."

"Did your parents wonder if maybe you didn't have it or not?"

"No." I smiled softly. "They knew, and the psychologist who diagnosed me was shocked that the others didn't. It just...depends on who's doing the diagnosis."

His nose crinkled as he thought. "It's weird."

"What?"

"That people who don't have Autism or ADHD diagnose you for it. How would they know?"

I sputtered, "I know. That's what I've always thought! And a lot of them don't even make an effort to learn more about it; they just follow a checklist that doesn't apply to everyone. I mean, Autism isn't a checklist—it's different for everyone."

He nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. "Yeah. I've read posts about that."

"You know a lot more than the average person does," I let him know, thrilled to have this conversation with someone on the neurodivergent plane.

"I want to be informed on things," he said quietly, sounding embarrassed. "It hurts when people don't understand."

"Yeah," I murmured. "It does."

He looked down at the half pill. "I'm sorry meds don't help."

"I'm used to it."

"Yeah, but...Namjoon hyung says just because you're used to something doesn't make it okay or hurt any less." His voice sunk. "He says that when I'm anxious or...panic."

"It happens to me too," I empathized. "You don't have to be embarrassed."

"Okay." He looked at his shuffling socks. "I'll try."

Endeared, I gestured to his pill. "You should take it. It's on a schedule, right? Like Namjoon said the other night?"

His eyes widened. "Yeah. Half in the morning, half at night. It...helps with letting me sleep."

"That's good."

"Yeah." He looked at me for a moment before grabbing his water and letting it carry the pill down his throat. Finished, he wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve, the sleeves now pulled over his hands for comfort.

"I have trouble sleeping, too," I told him.

"But meds don't help." He looked sorry.

"That's okay," I assured him. "I'm sure some meds would, I'm just not...I don't know. I'm not ready to put my body through finding the ones that do work." Attempting a joke, I said, "By the time I find the right one, it won't help anymore because I'm too wired after looking for it."

He cracked a smile. "That's funny."

I beamed. "Thanks."

A light rap on the door frame startled me, and I turned, coming face-to-face with Namjoon.

"Bathroom chit-chat," he commented, looking between us. "Hey, bub."

"Hi," Jungkook replied, sounding small.

Namjoon took note of his tone quickly, studying him closely. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He wiped his nose tiredly. "I'm talking with Faeryn."

"I can see that." Namjoon settled against the doorframe. "Sleepy?"

"A little."

"Yeah? A little?"

Jungkook nodded.

"All right." Namjoon motioned him forward with a light chuckle. "Did you follow your routine?"

"Most of it," Jungkook responded, his cheeks flushed as returned his pill bottle to the cabinet behind the mirror. Once he reached Namjoon, he tucked himself into his arm and breathed deeply. "I played a game on my phone."

Namjoon tutted but didn't verbally chastise him, instead running a comforting hand down his back. "Try not to; too much stimulation will keep you awake."

"I will," Jungkook confirmed, his voice muffled in Namjoon's shirt.

"Good job trying, bub." Namjoon patted his back, walking and taking Jungkook with him. Ruffling his hair, he nudged him back into the open, the two of them now in the hallway. "Go say goodnight to your hyungs, then go to bed."

Jungkook rubbed his eyes, casting a look my way. "Night, Faeryn."

Namjoon looked at me for my response just as I said with a gentle smile, "Night, Jungkook."

He smiled a bit, still a tad shy, and with an approving glance from Namjoon, he went to say goodnight to the others.

Once Jungkook was out of earshot, Namjoon turned his attention to me, and quirking a brow, he prompted, "What were you talking about?"

Intimidated at the sudden question and cadence of his tone, a large contrast to the softness it held when addressing Jungkook, I sputtered, "ADHD."

"ADHD?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, bug-eyed. "Jungkook was just telling me about it."

"And?"

"Nothing," I blurted. "We were just talking." He didn't seem convinced, still staring me down with a vengeance, so I hastily blurted, "I would never laugh at him—ever, I promise."

Both of his brows raised at that. "Why would you laugh at him?"

"I wouldn't," I insisted, flustered. "That's why I said so, and I just—I thought I would say it because he said other people laughed at him before, and you and him seem close, so I assumed you knew he was afraid of that—and maybe that's why you're looking at me like that—"

"How am I looking at you?"

I swallowed around my anxiety. "Like you're mad at me."

He paused to consider me and my expression, and presently, something in his features eased. "I'm not mad at you."

"Oh," I managed. "It just—it seemed like you were."

"No one needs to laugh at Jungkook; he's been through a lot."

"I won't laugh at him," I said, concerned. "No one should be laughed at for something that wasn't their choice to deal with."

He studied me analytically. "I agree." Cocking his head, he prompted, "And you; do you want to tell me what you deal with?"

Ironically, the fear of him laughing at me rang through my mind, and I took a step back. He tracked the movement, understanding written into his forehead.

"You don't have to," he spoke to my silence.

Embarrassed just as Jungkook had been with me, I remained tight-lipped and ashamed. I tried to be rational, tried to recognize how kind Namjoon was with Jungkook, and only wanted what was best for him—and shouldn't that mean he would be kind to others?—but Ryker had confused me so badly that I wasn't sure what to believe.

"I...I don't want to be laughed at," I revealed, hating the shame tethered to my tone—as if it was my fault for being laughed at. As if Autism was something I could rid myself of—and want to rid myself of. To be normal, to be like everyone else—as if normal wasn't a misconstrued social standard. But I was ashamed; I was taught to be by my peers and teachers and those around me who didn't understand why I was different, just that I was, and that was a threat to them, so they shunned me. Laughed at me. Told me I didn't belong.

Faced with Namjoon and his indifferent exterior, I was afraid he would be like my bullies, teachers, and kids who side-eyed me in school.

"It's okay if I'm different," I told him, my voice shaking as I repeated my mother's words. It's okay, she would tell me. Kids can be cruel, but you're not. You're my sweet girl, and they're jealous of that. "That doesn't mean you have to laugh at me."

"Do you see me laughing, Faeryn?"

My chin wobbled. "No."

"I don't laugh at Jungkook, and I don't laugh at others. I don't and won't stand for it." He tilted his head toward the bathroom. "You can leave this conversation; take a bath to calm down and go to bed, but either way, I won't laugh at you, just as you won't laugh at Jungkook, correct?"

"Yes," I agreed rapidly to the last part of his statement.

"Then make your choice; you're free to do that here. You were told that."

"I know," I managed. "I...I know. I'm just—" Fear ran through me. "I'm scared."

"To tell me what you deal with? Why you empathize with Jungkook?" He shook his head slowly. "Why would I laugh at you?"

His words mirrored too closely to mine when I spoke with Jungkook, and confusion slammed into my fear. "I don't...I don't know. You're just..." I swallowed. "You're a little intimidating, and I don't want to be laughed at again."

"Again?" He frowned. "Who laughed at you?"

"I—" I froze. "It doesn't—sorry, it doesn't matter."

"'Sorry it doesn't matter'?" He lifted a brow, unamused. "It does matter—clearly, with how afraid you are of it re-occurring." Taking a step closer to me, he prompted. "Test me, Faeryn. See if I laugh."

"Wh...what?"

"Go ahead." He jutted his chin outward. "Try."

"But..." My mind spun. "What if you laugh?"

"How do you think Taehyung would react if you told him I laughed?"

I didn't have to ponder to know, "Badly."

"Then tell him if I laugh; he'll chew me out."

Hesitating, I clasped my hands in front of me. "What if...but what if you stop me from telling him?"

"Faeryn." His eyes narrowed. "You have my permission to tell him." When I didn't budge, he leaned down, surprising me at the sudden proximity. Holding his hand out, I realized he wanted a handshake. "I promise."

Frozen, it took me a moment to conclude the handshake, shivering at his firm grip and calloused hands.

"There." He pulled away. "Now tell me; test me out."

Before I could overthink it anymore—and with the remembrance of how kindly he treated Jungkook who was also neurodivergent—I blurted, "Autism."

His expression didn't change, which worried me slightly. Instead, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and took a moment. Then, "That makes sense."

Dazed, I waited for the laughter, but it didn't come. In its place came his words, however, and they surprisingly began to put me at ease.

"Autism isn't something to be laughed at," he responded to my reveal. "And you shouldn't be afraid to tell others about it; I'm sorry others made you afraid of opening up."

I studied him as carefully as I could, wondering if I could trust his words and features. "You're not laughing."

"It's not a laughing matter," he said drily. "So no. I'm not."

I faltered. "You...sound upset."

"I don't approve of bullying and mistreatment, and it seems you've fallen victim to both." He folded his arms over his chest. "It's wrong."

"I'm not a victim," I refuted. "I'm just me."

"We're all victims to something. This world, it's system, racism—anything. It isn't a reflection on you; it's a reflection on the world."

My lips parted. "It's not my fault?"

"No," he confirmed. "It's not your fault."

"Oh." Rather embarrassed, I rubbed my arm for comfort. "I'm...sorry. You didn't laugh, and now I feel...stupid for making this a big deal."

"You've been laughed at before; it's pattern recognition to be afraid of it happening again. A survival instinct, if you will."

"That..." I pursed my lips. "That makes sense."

"I would hope so." He leaned against the wall slightly, his arms still crossed. "I have a high IQ and like to put it into practice occasionally."

His comfort toward the situation and my reveal granted me a taste of comfort for myself, and my shoulders hunched with relief.

"Thank you," I whispered. "For not laughing."

"Don't thank me for the bare minimum." He shook his head before letting the side of it rest against the wall. "It makes my skin crawl."

"Oh." My stomach flickered with confusion—and appreciation. "Okay."

"Mm." He considered me. "I don't know as much about Autism as I know about ADHD, but Jungkook's talked about it before during one of his special interests rambles."

I lit up. "I—I have those, too."

"I've heard." Amusement flickered in his irises. "But yes; he's spoken about it, and it has similarities, which is why I've asked questions about a few things. Earplugs at the table, for one." I blushed. "I thought you might've had ADHD."

"Well, I...I do," I explained. "I have both."

"Ah. Well." He chuckled. "That makes sense, too."

I nodded bashfully.

"Well." He lifted himself. "How did the test go?"

"I think it went good."

"You think?"

"Yeah." I felt a timid smile pushing to the surface. "You didn't laugh."

"And I won't." He began to show signs of a smile. "I assume you stick to a routine."

I showed a hesitant nod. "I had one before I was...here, but I'm still figuring a new one out."

"A lack of routine messes with Jungkook." He examined the constant flick of my fingers. "You too?"

"Uh...yes? But this has all been...whiplash. I'm not sure how to fall into a schedule; every day here is so different, and there's so many people to talk to and want to talk to me."

"Yes," he said slowly. "It's probably very different from what you're used to, but if a routine keeps you grounded, you need to settle into one. For Jungkook, it causes a breakdown, and from how you've experienced a temporary lack of speech in loud situations, it's the same for you, yes?"

Surprised, I agreed.

"What do you think you'd be comfortable with?" he prodded. "TV after dinner? Crocheting? A warm bath?"

"Crochet is nice," I agreed, confused but touched by his interest in my routine. "But sometimes my hands hurt too much to do it, so I'll do something else I like—baths, TV, or read."

"You don't have any books." He nodded more to himself than to me. "I have a collection you can browse through in the living room and my room; you can take whatever looks interesting. Do you prefer the living room or the guest room for your routine?"

"As long as I'm doing the same activity, both are okay."

"If there's too many of us in the living room, don't feel pressure to stay. Jungkook deals with that sometimes, thinks he's being rude, but it's not rude to look after yourself. Breakdowns aren't fun for him, and I know they must not be fun for you."

I shook my head.

"Then do what your body tells you to," he concluded. "That's important."

"I will," I promised. "I'll try."

"All right. Good." He motioned to the bathroom. "You can go ahead; I inadvertently paused your routine."

"No, it's—it's okay." My eyes widened. "I liked—I mean, I liked talking to you, even if I was a little nervous."

"That intimidating, huh?"

I peeked into his face, relaxing when no irritation displayed itself. "A little."

"I'm protective of Jungkook, but it seems you two are becoming friends." He smiled a bit, and the sight made my knees wobble. "I'll tone the intimidating down, but if I see you causing trouble"—his tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he looked down at me—"we'll have a talk."

"I won't cause any," I said quickly. "Promise. I'm good—I am."

"I was teasing." His voice was slightly softer, but not by much, and he pushed the bathroom door open wider for me. "Partially."

I released a high-pitched laugh, immediately embarrassed of the sound. "Okay."

"Get ready for bed." He stepped back, giving me clearance to the bathroom. Pausing, his ears twitched before he turned and angled his face in wait. Moments later, Jungkook appeared in his pajamas; a sky-blue matching silk set.

Once he saw us, he blinked, pausing. "Am I interrupting?"

"No, bub." Namjoon held his hand out to him. "C'mere."

Jungkook advanced, peeking at me questioningly as he did. "What are you talking about?"

"Routines," Namjoon revealed, passing a hand through Jungkook's messy waves. Peering into his face, he prompted, "Did you say goodnight to your hyungs?"

Jungkook nodded, shifting closer to Namjoon. "I didn't say goodnight to you."

"Ah." Namjoon chuckled fondly. "Is that why you're here instead of sleeping?"

Jungkook gnawed on his lip. "Yeah, and I'm hungry."

"You're hungry?" Namjoon shook out his sleeve to reveal his wristwatch. "It's past nine."

"I'll be quick."

"It'll upset your stomach," Namjoon warned, but by the look on his face, he'd already conceded. Jungkook seemed to realize this because, with a cheeky grin, he chirped his thanks and a goodnight before hurrying downstairs.

Namjoon sighed. "He'll regret it in the morning; he always does."

I giggled a bit. "At least he's happy now."

"At least." He showed a half-smile. "All right." Pivoting toward his room's direction, he told me, "Have a good rest of your night."

It was so cordial compared to the way he spoke with Jungkook; how close they were and how they seemed to speak without saying a word—

My cheeks heated, and I sputtered a goodnight before hurrying to the bathroom and locking the door, trying to ignore how I wished to be in Jungkook's place—or beside him.

꧁꧂

 

The following week with them was intense.

I was trying different routines to see what would work best, but there were too many distractions—too many strong, firm men who wanted to talk to me and sit close to me, their hands tangled in my hair as they offered caresses or massages.

I wanted to leave to sleep, but there they were with their kind smiles and eyes, always ready to talk to me, let me curl up to them on the couch while they scrolled through their phone, hear about my day, let me ramble about one of my special interests whilst nodding with a small smile, and it was intoxicating. How could I follow a routine with the multiple options they provided, each one leaving me weak in the knees and starving for more?

It got to the point where if one of them was near, such as Hoseok, Jimin, or Taehyung, I would push my face against them and anticipate their hand to run through my hair. When Jin was cooking dinner, I would help, gulping down his praise when I cut vegetables exceptionally well or followed his instructions. When Namjoon saw Jungkook and I giggling together over shared special interests, he almost looked fond, and I would think about his expression in bed at night and clutch my pillow to my beating chest. And with Yoongi, I would catch a small smile on his face when he saw me interacting with the others. I wasn't sure how to talk to him, he always seemed locked away doing his own thing, but the small smiles and his fluffy hair made me want to find out how to.

Maybe I had made a routine; one dependent on them.

I needed their gentle caresses and praise, needed to giggle with Jungkook after a long day, needed to ruminate over Namjoon's looks of slight fondness and approval, needed to think about how to befriend Yoongi, and it was as if butterflies were constantly in my stomach.

I wasn't sure what to make of the heat coiling in my stomach whenever they would touch me because we were friends and I shouldn't feel that way, but it was impossible not to. I was drunk off of them, always craving their presence and attention.

They made me feel cared for; their texts checking in on me during the day, a few of them sitting with me during lunch break, Jungkook asking Jin to stock up on his protein shakes so we could share them, and Hoseok's soft smile whenever I would wake up after falling asleep one of them in the living room, a quiet reminder that his room was available to me if I needed him.

I did need him, I realized quickly. But it scared me that I might need all of them.

I wasn't sure exactly in what way I would need them, but it was becoming difficult to be around them without blushing and stammering when their voices dipped, low and gravelly. When it became too much, depending on who it was, I would push my face into their shirt and take stuttered breaths as I tried to calm down. They would rub my back, murmuring comfort as I caught my breath.

I never felt this way for Ryker before. This was all-consuming and addicting, and I couldn't stop wanting more.

When the weekend came and Jin and I played video games together, I could barely breathe the entire time. His room was neat and pristine, and his color scheme of neutral tan colors made my eyes feel like they were at home.

After we found a rhythm in our gameplay, he let me take over certain areas, watching me intently as I figured things out. At a certain area, I was stuck, and I looked to him for help. He jutted his chin toward the screen and told me, "You can do it."

It only fueled my desire to make him proud, and after a few minutes of figuring it out, I turned to him excitedly, eagerly awaiting my praise. And when he told me good job, I felt like floating.

After two hours of playing, I floated through the halls to the guest room, the moon high in the sky as I changed into pajamas. In my bed, I brought the blankets up to my chin as I ruminated over my time with Jin, and quickly, it became rumination over spending time with the others today.

There were too many moments to fan over and blush about, and as the minutes passed and the heat within me grew, I kicked my feet and wiggled around to push the blanket off of me.

My chest heaving with copious amounts of feelings, Hoseok's offer whirled in my thoughts. I couldn't sleep, but not because I was scared; because I was thinking of them, and did his offer stand for that? I wasn't sure, but grabbing my pillow and holding it close, I tip-toed into the hall, telling myself it was fine if I knocked on his door. That he wouldn't mind. That he would swoop me in his arms, take me to his bed, and talk to me until my stomach eased.

I only half-believed myself, but the need to be with Hoseok was more than my need to believe my inner monologue, and when I knocked on his door, I held my breath as I waited.

Shifting from foot to foot, my eyes widened when I heard his footsteps approach. My anxiety spiked, and wondering if I was being idiotic—maybe he truly didn't mean his offer; maybe he was just trying to be nice—I stepped back. But then his door opened, and—there he was. He was in his pajamas, a light brown shirt that clung to his chest, and a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants.

He looked so comfortable and warm, his hair slightly mussed, and I froze in my spot, wanting nothing more than to get lost in him.

My tongue worked before my mind could catch up. "I—I need you."

His brows shifted, and he lowered to my height. "What do you need from me?"

"You," I blurted, inching closer.

"Are you feeling scared?" His tone was so kind, so lulling and soft. "Hm? Just a little scared?"

I shook my head, my eyes wide as they looked into his.

"Not scared," he confirmed, his brows easing a bit.

"Yeah, but"—I shuffled hopefully—"I still need you."

"Yeah?" he murmured. "Do you want to come in?"

I nodded quickly, clasping my hands together as hope and eagerness threatened to consume me.

He opened his door wider and held his hand out to me. "You can come in."

I took his hand and held on tightly as he led me inside. Once I stepped foot into his room, I quickly appreciated its color scheme. It was different shades of muted green and brown, and it matched him perfectly whilst being gentle on my eyes.

"So nice," I breathed out. "I really like it."

"Thank you." He applied gentle pressure to our hold. "Do you want to sit down?" 

"With you," I said quickly. "I want to sit with you."

He chuckled softly. "I was sitting on my bed. Do you want to sit on the couch instead?"

My brows knitted together, and I tugged at his shirt entreatingly. "With you."

"You want to sit with me on my bed?" He leaned down, tilting my chin to create eye contact. "Is that what you want?"

My breath hitched. "Yeah, I—I want that."

He released me, but not before caressing the bottom of my chin. "You can."

He led me to his bed, and once it was close enough, I pulled myself on, staring up at him as my heart raced. He sat beside me, and when I kept looking at him, unsure what else to do, he smiled softly.

"You're okay," he assured. "Feeling a little anxious?"

I nodded, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth for comfort.

"Don't do that," he murmured, gently grasping my face as his thumb prodded my lip away from my teeth. "It will hurt you later."

I whimpered at the proximity, and without thinking, I shifted closer, almost causing our noses to brush. He paused, his eyes slowly flickering to mine to gauge the situation.

"Faeryn," he said slowly, watching my eyes flutter at the sound of my name on his tongue. "Why did you come into my room?"

"I don't know," I whimpered. "I just—I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about everyone, and you said I could come in here when I was scared, but I'm not scared, but I still thought maybe it would be okay."

"Thinking about everyone?" He lifted his brow, conscientious and alluring. "How so?"

"Just—just a lot."

"Just a lot?" His thumb drew circles on my cheek. "Can you tell me about that?"

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, wanting to prove myself—desperate for praise.

"Good," he praised, making something within me ignite and melt all at once. "Go ahead. Tell me all about it."

Encouraged and unsure I could keep it to myself for much longer, I blurted, "Everyone's so nice, and I really like being here. I like cuddling and watching TV and playing games and just—just talking is so nice, and I feel so safe, and I—I like feeling safe." I sucked air in through my cheeks. "I really like all of you, and it makes my stomach hurt."

"It makes your stomach hurt?" He continued caressing my face, waiting patiently for my response. "Why is that?"

"Because," I continued with growing desperation. "I don't know what to do with it."

"With what?"

"How much I like all of you," I revealed, my cheeks heating at how it sounded. At what it pointed to. "And I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about it."

"We like having you here," he said after I fell silent. "Very much." He tilted my chin again, taking in my quivering pupils. "I want you to know that."

"Thank you," I stammered.

"Thank you for coming to talk to me," he returned, gingerly arranging my hair away from my face. "I know it must be a sense of whiplash living with people who enjoy having you around after Ryker." Distaste and anger filled his features, but with a tight-lipped smile, he remained gentle and present—for me. "But you're wanted here, Faeryn. You light up every room."

I melted, my bottom lip wobbling. "That's so—that's so nice."

"It's the truth." He cupped the side of my face. "Whatever you're thinking about at night, it's okay. It's not happening anymore, and you're safe with us."

"With you," I tried tremulously. When he confirmed, I tentatively tried, "How?"

"How what?"

"Am I with you." I blinked, flustered. "We're friends, and...and I really like being friends, but I—" I put a hand to my head as I tried to calm down. "Sorry. I think I'm just confusing myself."

"We are friends," he assured.

"Just...friends?"

He paused, and understanding fanned his features. "Do you want to use your words and tell me what you're thinking?"

A confused whimper left me, and I shook my head.

"No?" He traced my cheek. "You're not going to tell me?" I nuzzled into his hand, craving the comfort. "What do you think will happen if you tell me?"

"Don't know," I whispered. "Maybe I'll have to leave."

"You're not going anywhere unless you want to," he spoke firmly. Reassuringly. "I can promise you that."

"I'm not?"

"No," he confirmed. "Not unless you want to."

"I don't want to," I breathed out.

"Then you won't." He let me digest his words before gently relaying, "You can talk to me."

It felt like I could, and it was much easier to speak when his kindness swarmed around me, so attempting to trust his promise, I stammered, "I like you."

"As a friend?"

My blush crawled down to my neck. "Yes," I squeaked. "But also—I think—maybe more."

"You think?"

"I don't know," I stressed. "I haven't really liked anyone before, but all of you make me feel—" I flapped my hands around anxiously. "You make me feel nice."

"It's not just me," he said, watching me intently. "It's the others you like as well?"

"I'm sorry," I stammered, pulling away from him whilst wanting to be closer. "You—you said you wouldn't make me leave—"

"Shh." He brought me right back to him, both hands on my shoulders to steady me. "I made a promise, and I don't break my promises."

"You...you don't?"

"I'm just asking questions." He cupped the back of my neck, massing it lightly. "That's all."

"Just questions," I tried timidly.

"Just questions," he confirmed.

"Okay," I whispered, my eyes transfixed on him. "No leaving."

"No leaving," he promised. "You're allowed to have feelings, Faeryn. You won't be chastised for it; not here." He held my face again, his thumbs easing up and around my temples. "Not with us."

"I'm—but I'm embarrassed," I croaked.

"That's okay. Just know that you don't have to be, hm?"

"Okay," I pushed out, nibbling my bottom lip as I looked at his. "I just...I don't want to make things awkward for anyone."

"We're all adults here," he said in response. "We can handle a crush from a beautiful woman."

My blush was intense, and so was the shiver that wracked me. Unsure what to say, I simply stared at him, breathless and wanting.

"Do you want to continue talking about this?" he asked softly. "Or talk about something else?"

"Do..." I swallowed roughly, gathering my courage. "Just questions, right? So I...I can ask you a question?"

"Anything you want."

Encouraged and lulled by him, my voice wobbled as I asked, "Maybe...maybe you like me, too?"

A fond chuckle slipped past his lips. "Maybe?"

Red threatened to consume me, up my throat and past my cheeks to my forehead. "Yeah, just—just maybe."

"Thank you for asking," he praised softly. "That must've been scary, huh?" I nodded quickly, mewling when he rubbed firm circles against my temples. "Being so brave."

I shivered at the continued praise, nodding quicker than before.

"I think you're very sweet," he told me. "And I enjoy having you here."

My eyes flickered with hope.

"So yes," he said with a small smile at my hopeful expression. "I do."

A quick breath left me, and hope enveloped me. "You do?"

"I do."

"Even if—even if I said I like everyone else?" Humiliation spread through me, and he noticed, clicking his tongue to refute it.

"You can like whoever you want to like," he said. "There's nothing wrong with that, and it's nothing to be ashamed of."

My stomach swooped. "Really?"

"Really."

"But what...what do I do?" I looked at him anxiously. "If I like you and them? It seems...wrong."

"It's not wrong," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with a few crushes."

"But what—what if I want to do something with...with my crushes?"

"Such as?"

His lips looked so inviting and soft. Surely, if just asked—

A small whimper left me, and I inched closer, the sheets following my movement. "Hoseok."

"I'm right here."

"I want—" I looked at his lips, my stomach aching with desire. "I want to—"

"What?" he murmured. "What do you want?"

I tapped my lips hurriedly, hoping he would understand. He did, and his chest rumbled in response. "You want a kiss?"

"Please," I breathed out. "Just a little one."

"A little one?" He leaned closer, and I couldn't breathe as anticipation curled in the air around us.

His eyes tracked my features before he gingerly kissed my bottom lip, quick and soft before he pulled away.

Ignited and dizzy, I panted, "More?"

"More?" He leaned back in, kissing my upper lip now.

"Hoseok," I pleaded.

"You want a real kiss?" he prompted. "No more little kisses?"

"Real kiss," I agreed headily. "Please."

"So sweet," he rumbled, and with my face in his hands, he guided my jaw closer and pressed his lip wholly on mine.

I was quickly intoxicated, divulging in his gentle touch and firm lips, and my stomach swirled with appreciation and thrill. I melted into him, instinctively raising my hands to grasp his shirt, and he let me, murmuring his approval into our kiss.

He kept me close and warm, and soon, our rhythm became easy. I only pulled away to catch my breath, my lips aching, and he immediately asked if I was okay, searching my face before he received my verbal confirmation. And when I caught my breath and returned to our kiss, I felt like I was flying.

Eventually, I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and caught my breath, whirring from it all.

He rubbed my back lightly, patting it reassuringly whenever my breath would hitch from his touch.

"Want to stay with you," I mumbled into his neck.

"In my bed?"

"Please?"

A fond chuckle slipped past his lips. "Tired?"

"Yeah, but I—I want to stay with you."

"You can," he conceded easily. "Come on; let's get you under the blankets."

His blankets were warm, but not as warm with him, and when he settled beneath them with me, I immediately tucked myself into him.

"There you are," he murmured, caressing my hair. "Such a sweet girl."

I preened, hooking my legs with his as I buried my face in his chest; warm and sturdy and safe.

"I like kissing you," I whispered into his shirt.

He kissed the top of my head, coaxing his hands up and down my back. "I like kissing you, too."

And when I fell asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around me, the nightmares didn't feel as scary.

Notes:

the next chapter is intense and may or may not contain smut⁉️ (YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Chapter 9: Touch and Kiss Me

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Hoseok held my hand as he walked me to the bathroom in the morning, and I wiped my eyes as I rested my head on his side, dazed, rested, and giddy.

He woke me with forehead kisses, and my mood was quickly elevated after my nightly nightmares; it was the best start to the day I could hope for.

My vision was blurred with sleep, my eyes half-opened, so when a pink bundle came down the other end of the hall, I jumped in surprise and clung to Hoseok.

"Oh, shh, it's okay." Hoseok patted my back fondly. "It's just Jungkook."

I wiped my eyes, blinking blearily as my vision so cleared to make him out. He was dressed in similar silk pajamas as I'd seen him in before, but instead of a sky-blue, they were a pretty pastel pink. He seemed to just have woken up, but he was already buzzing with energy, his eyes tired but alert, and his hair wild and strewn about.

He froze in place when he noticed us, looking at our intertwined hands and blinking in confusion. Then, as he was parting his lips to speak, he froze again, slowly looking down at his pajamas.

His cheeks flushed a similar pink color, and quickly, he insisted, "I don't wear pink a lot. Just sometimes."

My eyes widened at his quick speech, not understanding the reason for it. "I like pink," I assured him.

His eyes widened along with mine. "You do?"

"Yeah," I stammered as Hoseok led me closer to Jungkook. "You're pretty. I mean, it's pretty. I—I didn't mean to say that you were pretty, but you are, but I didn't mean to—" I clutched Hoseok's shirt for solace. "Your shirt's pretty."

Jungkook shifted slightly, his light, ruby lips further accenting his pajamas. "You—you think I'm pretty?"

I nodded quickly.

"Oh." His blush heightened, pretty and wild. "Thanks. I—I think you're pretty too, and I...I like your pajamas, even if they're not pink."

"Thanks," I breathed out, now barely a few feet from him thanks to Hoseok's leading hand on my back.

"Look at both of you," he praised, his raspy morning voice making my head spin. "Being so sweet."

I nodded eagerly, my eyes fluttering when he ran his hand through my hair.

"How'd you sleep?" Hoseok asked him. "Nice and comfy in your pajamas?"

Jungkook nodded, chewing on his lip as he looked at me, bug-eyed and buzzing more than before.

"You two want to go brush your teeth?" Hoseok prompted. "Hm?"

"I can?" I asked.

He gently nudged me forward. "Go on."

I started to close the distance between Jungkook and me, but I hesitated, turning with flushed cheeks to grab Hoseok's hand. "Come with me?"

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed, sounding slightly breathless. "We can all brush our teeth together like you, me, and Joon do sometimes."

"Yeah?" Hoseok tugged me to him, squeezing my hand in response. "You both want to do that?"

"Yeah," Jungkook and I spoke in unison.

With my hand in his, Hoseok patted Jungkook's back and squeezed his shoulder. "In the bathroom; come on."

In the bathroom, Jungkook and I were stationed closer to the sink than Hoseok. He remained a foot or so behind us, brushing his teeth as he watched us do the same.

He finished first, both Jungkook and I taking our time as we kept sneaking glances at each other through the mirror and non-subtle peeks at each other. We parted when Hoseok patted our backs as an indication, and after he put his toothbrush away, he returned to his spot behind us.

Jungkook and I slowly inched sideways back to each other, and when our shoulders brushed, we looked at each other. With our mouths full of toothpaste and our chests heaving, we continued staring until Hoseok instructed, "Rinse."

Jungkook and I listened quickly— too quickly—and our heads bumped together. Surprised, we both jolted back and apologized profusely, a hand clamped over our mouths as we kept the toothpaste from spilling.

With a chuckle, Hoseok gently guided me forward. "Faeryn first, then you can go."

Jungkook nodded, motioning for me to go forward eagerly.

I listened, rinsing my mouth out, and once I did, he was next. While he was, Hoseok gently patted around my mouth with a towel, using the same to do the same for Jungkook. When he was finished, my stomach was pulsing and it felt like I was on fire.

Jungkook wouldn't stop looking at me, Hoseok's touch was igniting me, and being so close to them was only making everything in me heighten.

When Hoseok caught a water droplet from my thumb and swiped it away, I wasn't able to stop my whimper, pleading and needy.

"You're okay," he soothed.

Flustered from last night with him and being so near Jungkook, I stammered, "Jungkook looks pretty."

"He does," Hoseok agreed, casting a glance in Jungkook's direction. "All nice and pretty in pink, hm?"

Jungkook shifted, his brows drawn as his teeth tugged mercilessly at his lip. "Hyung."

"Hm?" Hoseok lifted a brow. "Do you like when she calls you pretty?"

Jungkook's throat bobbed before his lips parted, his pupils blown as they looked into mine. "Yeah."

"And did you tell her thank you?"

"Thank you," Jungkook breathed out.

"For?" Hoseok prompted.

"Saying I'm pretty."

"Say it all together."

Jungkook's breath hitched as he pushed out a stammered, "Thank you for saying I'm pretty."

I whined, heat flashing through me, and I tugged Hoseok's sleeve needily.

"What is it?" His thumb pressed into my chin, gentle and firm. "Do you like when Jungkook thanks you?"

"He's nice," I whimpered.

"You're nice, too," Jungkook managed.

"Thank you," I said headily.

"There she is." Hoseok caressed my chin. "Look at how polite she is, Jungkook. How sweet."

I shifted closer to him, blinking up at him pleadingly.

"What do you need?" he murmured. When I tapped my lips, he took my hand and slowly lowered it back to my side. "Can you use your words, sweetheart? Tell me what you need?"

I peeked over at Jungkook, and when I took note of how he kept his hands over the front of his pants, I whined and begged Hoseok, "Kiss, please?"

His gravelly response made me shiver. "From who?"

"You," I struggled to speak. Struggled to think with my surroundings spinning. "And—" My eyes caught with Jungkook's, and all my desire pushed me to ask, "Please?"

"What are you asking for?" Hoseok's lips ghosted my cheek. "Talk to me."

"Jungkook," I whispered.

"Yeah?" His mouth skimmed mine. "What about him?"

"Kiss," I managed.

"You want a kiss from Jungkook?"

I braved another peek at him as I nodded.

"Can you ask him nicely?" Hoseok asked. "Ask him for a kiss?"

"Jungkook," I panted, clinging to Hoseok for solace and support. "Can I have a kiss, please?"

Jungkook's features were tight, and when the words left my mouth, he looked to Hoseok for approval.

"Whatever you want," Hoseok told him, soothing his hands up and down my side. "It's okay; you can tell her what you want."

"I want to," Jungkook said quickly.

"Tell her."

Turning to me, Jungkook asked breathily, "I want to kiss you."

"Yes," I said eagerly, unable to believe what was occurring. "Please. I—I want that."

Hoseok motioned him over with a flick of his fingers. "Here."

Jungkook made it to us in seconds, nearly stumbling, and once he was in front of me, Hoseok stationed me in front of him with my back to his chest. Grasping my chin, he tilted it up, angling my face for Jungkook.

"There we go," Hoseok praised when I parted my lips in anticipation. "Oh, poor thing wants a kiss. Come on, Jungkook." He kissed the side of my mouth while Jungkook watched. "Give her what she wants."

"Please," I breathed out.

Jungkook dipped his face down to mine, and with our heavy breathing between us, his trembling lips met mine. They were softer than Hoseok's, and the slight tremble was the one I held. It made me feel safe, that he was as jittery as I was, and it seemed to do the same for him because it took moments for us to settle nearly in unison.

When I raised my hands to his hair, gently tugging him to me, he panted, pushing himself as close as he could to me. Chest to chest, he clasped his hands behind my neck, using it to deepen our kiss.

Hoseok was still pressed into my back, and when I felt him and Jungkook growing against me from both sides, a quiet moan left me, but they heard me. I could tell from how the lower half of their bodies twitched, and Jungkook took it a step further as he ground against me. It was a slight movement, one he didn't mean to do by the break of our kiss and his wide eyes, but I grabbed him and tugged our lips back together, kissing him desperately.

With Hoseok holding my hips in place, it gave Jungkook leverage to grind directly against me, and I panted, moaning at the feeling.

"Does that feel nice?" Hoseok asked, nipping the skin beneath my air before kissing it. "Hm? Is Jungkook making you feel nice?"

"You both feel nice." I gasped against Jungkook's lips. "Really nice."

"Yeah?" Hoseok ground against me just as Jungkook did, and I whined, unsure who to lean into. "Feels nice?" He kissed my neck, trailing kisses up to my chin. His lips were dangerously near mine, and I moaned when he tilted my head slightly—still giving Jungkook enough access—and kissed me.

He and Jungkook kissed me in unison, their lips and tongues discovering the inside of my mouth greedily. It was hot and desperate, and I couldn't get enough. I kissed them heatedly, parting my lips as they took over. All I had to do was remain caged within them, and their heated bodies warmed every part of me.

A knock on the door startled our rhythm, and before any of us could respond, Taehyung called, "Hey! Whoever's in there, Jin said to hurry up so the next person can have their turn." He knocked again. "I'm the next person."

Frazzled, I watched Jungkook move back, his lips slightly bruised and his eyes dazed. Once he looked at me, he leaned right back down to kiss me, swiping his tongue along my bottom lip and sucking it lightly.

"In a second," Hoseok responded to Taehyung.

"Morning!" Taehyung knocked harder. "Jin says to hurry."

Gingerly swiping my hair to the side, Hoseok pressed a few, drawn-out kisses to my neck. "Morning." In a lower voice, curated for me and Jungkook, "Let's get changed and have breakfast. Sound good?"

We both nodded, and Jungkook grudgingly tore away from me.

"Good." Hoseok smiled, and it reeked of fondness. "Was that nice?"

"Yeah," Jungkook and I breathed out.

"All right." Hoseok chuckled, reaching for the doorknob. "Let's finish getting ready."

"Hoseok—" I grabbed his arm, keeping him from opening the door. "We can...we can do that again?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He cupped the side of my face. "Whenever you want." He jutted his chin toward Jungkook. "If he wants to."

"I want to," Jungkook blurted.

Hoseok hid a smile. "Then we will." Giving me a reassuring kiss, he pulled away to open the door.

Taehyung nearly fell into the bathroom, his breath stammering when he saw the three of us. "What—what are you all doing? I heard you talking, and you're—" He blinked rapidly as he assessed the situation. "You're all..."

He wasn't sure how to explain himself, but he kept looking at the clear depiction of arousal in our eyes, and a hurt expression crossed his features.

Again, quieter, he asked, "What were you all doing?"

"Taehyung," Hoseok began gently. "It's all right."

Taehyung looked at me, and whatever he saw on my face caused his expression to fall. "I'll—I'll go after whoever's next."

He turned, averting eye contact as he hurried down the hall back to his room. Once the door was closed, I turned my worried expression to Hoseok.

"It's okay," he reassured. "He's fine."

"He didn't look fine," I countered worriedly. "He looked sad."

"He's okay," he reinstated. "Why don't you talk to him later? He has some ties crossed; that's all."

I blinked. "About what?"

He lifted a brow, amused, and wordlessly responded with a kiss.

"Oh." I blushed. "That."

"Mm." He patted my lower back. "Go get changed; Jin should have breakfast ready by now."

"Okay." I peeked over at Jungkook, shyness taking over me. "Thank you for kissing me."

"Thanks for kissing me," he responded, gnawing on his lip as a shy smile fought its way through. I returned it, giggling and giddy as I hurried to the guest room to change.

For breakfast, Jin made French Toast. I told him a few days ago it was the only version of bread I enjoyed, and still dizzy from earlier, I nearly barreled into him with excitement.

"Jin!" I exclaimed, "You made it."

He steadied me, reaching toward the counter for a plate. "I did." He began to hand it to me, but he paused, squinting as he took in my expression. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I said eagerly. "I slept really good."

"You're frazzled."

I blinked up at him as my blush spread. "I like the color pink."

"You like the color pink," he repeated.

"Yeah," I blurted. "And Jungkook wore pink pajamas."

"You like his pink pajamas."

I pushed onto my tip-toes as I nodded rapidly. "Yeah, and we brushed our teeth together with Hoseok in the bathroom, and—" I cut myself off, choosing to try and take the plate from Jin. "Thank you."

His tongue clicked the roof of his mouth, and surprised, I blinked up at him when he didn't release the plate to me.

"Finish your sentence," he instructed.

"I can't," I stammered.

"Why do you think you can't, Faeryn?"

"I'm just—it's just—" I clasped my hands together tightly. "I..."

When I didn't further elaborate, he dipped his face to examine mine. "What did the three of you do in the bathroom?" My blush spoke for me, and understanding creased his forehead. "Ah. The three of you spent some time together."

The way he spoke and the cadence in which he did made me tremble.

He pressed his thumb into my chin. "Answer me."

"Yes," I stuttered. "We did."

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yes," I agreed, my blush prickling the back of my ears.

"Did they enjoy themselves?"

"Yeah, they—yeah, they did."

"Then why couldn't you tell me this?"

"I don't know," I whimpered, his dark eyes boring into mine. "I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for anyone."

"Have you asked us if your desires would make us uncomfortable?"

"No," I squeaked.

"Then listen to me closely." He brought his face inches from mine as his voice dipped. "We communicate here, not make assumptions. Do you understand?"

"I'm sorry," I said hurriedly. "Yes, I understand."

"Very good, Faeryn." Tilting my chin to the side, he angled my face until I made eye contact with Namjoon. He was sitting at the kitchen table, and I was surprised I hadn't noticed him before, but that meant—

I felt dizzy.

He heard our conversation; he knew.

He sat with his legs slightly parted and his phone neglected face-down on the table, his attention trained intently on Jin and me.

Jin instructed, "Go ahead."

"What?" I managed.

"Stop making assumptions," Jin rumbled. "And start asking."

I understood, and with stammering accents, I pushed myself to greet Namjoon. In response, he crossed one leg over the other and said, "Hello, Faeryn."

Everyone's morning voices were deep and gravelly, making my reactions to them harder to suppress. Squeezing my thighs together, I whispered, "I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but I was wondering if me kissing"—my face burned—"Hoseok and Jungkook makes you uncomfortable."

He exhaled deeply, tracking how tightly I pressed my thighs together. "You kissed Jungkook and Hoseok."

I nodded tentatively.

A muscle in his neck twitched. "Just kissed?"

I wanted to hide, and I tried to—turning in an attempt to do so—but Jin kept my chin in his hold, applying firm pressure to keep me still.

"None of that," he reprimanded, tapping my chin to re-focus me. "Answer his question."

"Okay," I forced the words out, shuffling in my spot. "It felt good, so we...we..."

"Go ahead," Jin prompted, the instruction in his tone clear.

"Grinded," I whispered.

"In the bathroom?" Namjoon questioned.

"Yeah." I averted eye contact. "I was just—I was in the middle, and they were both—" I trailed off, my trembling increasing. "Jin, please, I—I can't."

He released my chin, allowing me to tuck myself into him. "That's enough."

I preened while the humiliation of recapping everything in detail worked to wreck me, sending tingles down my spine to my aching core.

"I'm sure it felt nice," Namjoon mused. "All warm and safe while they made you feel good."

I whined, his words setting a fire within me I didn't know how to extinguish—and one I didn't want to extinguish.

I managed a nod into Jin's shirt, making it rise and fall with the movement.

"Oh, I'm sure." Namjoon drew his words out; slow, and almost a taunt. "Did you say thank you?"

"I did," I said quickly.

"Did you?" When I nodded rapidly, his marginal praise left me weak. "That was very nice of you. I'm sure Jungkook said thank you as well, hm?"

"He did," I assented. "He's so nice, and he had his pink pajamas on, and he just—he looked so pretty."

His lips twitched. "Did you tell him he looked pretty? Aw, you did? Did he start to fidget? Chew his lip? Whine a bit?"

A quiet whimper left me, and I nodded at the remembrance.

"He likes being called pretty," Namjoon relayed. "Makes him feel nice, just like grinding makes you feel nice." He clasped his hands together over the table. "I'm sure you both sounded very pretty together."

"Hoseok said we were sweet," I revealed shyly.

"Yeah?"

"I did," Hoseok announced himself, causing me to jolt in my spot. Once I made eye contact with him, he graced me with a smile. "They were both very cute with their little whimpers while they kissed."

I burned with need, shuddering as I stayed close to Jin for comfort.

"Are you telling them what happened?" Hoseok asked me gently. I nodded, my face half-hidden by Jin's shirt. "Look at you this morning. Asking Jungkook for a kiss, telling him he was pretty, and telling Jin and Namjoon all about it."

"Yeah," I agreed, pride tickling my skin. 

Namjoon chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "Someone likes to be praised."

I burned brightly.

"Enough," Hoseok chided lightly, making me jolt. "Oh, no, not you sweetheart. You're okay; I'm talking to Namjoon. You are doing just fine; just go ahead and keep talking to Jin."

I peeked up at Jin. "Jin?"

He peered down into my face, lifting his thumb to swipe along my cheek. "You were very good this morning." His hand shifted behind my neck to offer a firm squeeze. "Would you like to show me how good you can be the rest of the day?"

My stomach fluttered. "How can I show you?"

"Do your best. That's all." He squeezed the back of my neck once more before nudging me toward Hoseok. "After dinner, you can tell me what you did today."

"Okay," I agreed, my mind spinning. "I will."

I flew to Hoseok, immediately flooded with praise as he held me to him. Melting, I nuzzled into him, struggling to remain upright with everything that just occurred.

"We'll eat some breakfast," he told me, kissing my forehead softly as he caressed my cheek. "Then we'll go to work. Quickly, okay? We don't want to be late."

I breathed my agreement quickly, timidly walking back to Jin who held my plate in his hands. I stammered my thanks as I hurried to the table, jittery as I waited for Hoseok to grab his plate and join me.

Namjoon watched me intently, and red under his attention, I tried my best to choke down my French Toast.

Once Hoseok was seated beside me and I was almost done with my food, I wondered through a mouthful of food in a hushed tone, "Where's Taehyung?"

"He's in his car," Yoongi revealed upon his arrival, tugging his jacket around his shoulders.

"Oh." I blinked. "But he didn't have breakfast."

"Hoseok," Jin said, now near the front door with his keys in hand. "Are you driving or going with Taehyung again?"

"What do you think, Faeryn?" Hoseok turned to me. "Should we ride with Taehyung?"

I beamed my agreement.

He chuckled, nudging my cheek with his knuckles as he told Jin, "Yeah, we'll drive with him."

"Pack him some breakfast for me, then," Jin instructed. "Everyone else, we need to go." Lifting his voice, he called for Jungkook, and bounding down the stairs moments later, Jungkook appeared in a pink sweatshirt and jeans.

Jin lifted a brow at the color, but Jungkook didn't notice, running straight to where Namjoon was putting his shoes on.

"Am I late?" He had his phone in hand, the page opened on social media. "Sorry." He pushed his phone out to Namjoon, twisting and angling himself so Namjoon could view it while tying his shoes. "Joon, look at this. He found this cat on the street, and she and his dog get along so well. Look at them in his living room. They're—"

Namjoon finished tying his shoes, lifting himself to grasp Jungkook's face. Pushing Jungkook's cheeks to cause his lips to form a natural pout, Namjoon analyzed him quickly. In seconds, Namjoon said, "You didn't take your meds."

Jungkook paused. "Uh..." He winced. "I forgot."

"You take them first thing," Namjoon chided.

"Well, I was going to," he insisted. "But then Hoseok and Faeryn—" He broke himself off, his cheeks turning the same color as his sweatshirt.

Namjoon patted his cheek gently. "We heard. Had some fun with them in the bathroom, didn't you? In your pretty pink pajamas?"

Jungkook blushed furiously. "They told you?"

"Faeryn told us all about it. How nice you made her feel. How pretty you looked." He cocked his head. "Do you know what Hoseok said? No?" With Jungkook's face still in his hands, he shook it lightly. "That you were very cute and polite. Is that what you were? Cute and polite and so, so pretty?"

"Hyung," Jungkook whispered; a light whine with wide eyes.

"What?" Namjoon prompted. "Were you not?"

"I was," Jungkook said quickly. "I—I was."

"Tell me what you were."

Shuffling as his whole body buzzed with anticipation, Jungkook's eyes darted around as he snuck glances at all of us. When Namjoon tapped his cheek to get his attention, Jungkook looked back at him, the words tumbling out of him; "Cute, polite, and so pretty."

"Who?" Namjoon pressed.

"Me," Jungkook finished, slightly breathless. "I am."

"That's right." Namjoon released him, but not before pinching his cheek fondly. "My pretty boy."

Jungkook shivered, jumping nearly a foot high when Jin instructed him to get his meds and breakfast, and without hesitating, he dashed back upstairs.

I could barely breathe, and once he was gone, everyone's eyes flit to mine. Yoongi was the only one who looked surprised, but he didn't get a chance to ask as Jin ordered everyone to get to their cars.

I shoveled down the rest of my food, taking the hand Hoseok offered as I hurried to meet his long strides to Taehyung's car.

When we arrived, instead of entering the backseat, Hoseok knocked on the door to the driver's seat. Taehyung slowly lowered the window, glancing at our intertwined hands before staring resolutely at the wheel.

Hoseok leaned forward, resting his forearms against the wheel. "Hey." He tapped his shoulder. "I'm driving."

Taehyung looked at him. "What?"

"You heard me." He leaned forward and unbuckled him with ease. "Get in the backseat."

"No," Taehyung refuted. "I'm driving. This is my car, and—"

"You'll sit in the back with Faeryn."

Taehyung glanced at me, and when Hoseok opened the door, he relented. Averting his gaze, he boarded the backseat.

Hoseok nudged me to follow, and I pushed my face against his arm before hurrying to join Taehyung.

In the backseat, Taehyung kept the middle seat between us, still avoiding eye contact as he buckled up.

Hoseok turned the radio on low, humming as he drove us onto the main roads. Eventually, he turned it up louder—I didn't mind due to my earplugs—and it seemed to give Taehyung a reason to speak to me.

With the music loud enough to block the sound of our whispers out, he unbuckled himself and slipped into the seat beside me.

I looked at him in question, leaning closer when his lips parted to speak.

"Hi," he began with a wince. "I...I hope you slept good. Well, I mean. People are supposed to say well; proper grammar and...stuff." He took a deep breath before releasing his words quickly, "I'm sorry if I came off weird earlier. In the bathroom. I mean, not in the bathroom because you were with Hoseok and Jungkook, just—"

He shook his head, running his hand over his face. "I'm sorry. You're my friend, and I was weird." He held his palm out, and I took it immediately. "You can do whatever you want with whoever. I was just...I guess I was just surprised, but if you like him—I mean, them—that's great. I want you to be happy, and if they make you happy, then"—he showed a wobbly smile—"I'm happy."

"Taehyung"—I squeezed his hand—"It's...it's not what it looked like."

"It's...not? But with what you three were saying—"

"Well, we...yes, we did kiss," I explained. "But I..." I grimaced. "It's complicated."

"Oh." His features fell. "Okay." He patted my hand rapidly. "I'm happy for you, and...I'm sure it won't be complicated for long. I could talk to them if you want; see if that helps. They're good guys."

"No, that's—no, no," I assured him. "That's not what I meant."

His brows furrowed. "What did you mean?"

"I meant that I...I don't just like them."

His voice dipped. "Love?"

"No," I blurted. "Not—no, Taehyung, no."

He blinked his confusion. "I don't understand."

I squeezed his hand as I thought of the best way to communicate. "I...well...okay." I took a deep breath. "They're not...the only ones I like."

His breath hitched. "You like the others, too?"

"Yeah," I stammered. "But Taehyung, I like—" I could barely breathe. "I like you, too."

He froze. "You...you like me?"

"Yes," I confirmed breathily.

"I don't understand," he said after a moment of failed processing. "You were with Hoseok and Jungkook and just said you like the others—"

"I like all of you," I whispered, my cheeks aflame. "And I...I liked you first. I just—I didn't know how to tell you. You're so perfect and nice and kind, and you like to do all the things I like just to see why I like them." I shook my head quickly. "I like you so much, and I'm really sorry if I confused you, but I—I was confused, too. I still am. It's just—it's embarrassing to like so many people, but you're all..." I inhaled shakily. "Amazing."

"You think we're amazing? And you—Faeryn, you like me?" His eyes were wide and hopeful, and his tone was equally as such. "As more than friends?"

"Yeah," I managed. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," he said quickly. "Yeah, of course. I like you too—as more than friends and as friends and as a person. I just—" He squeezed my hand tightly. "I like you a lot."

"You do?"

"Of course I do," he affirmed, his voice so genuine and hopeful. "You're kind and sweet, I always have so much fun with you, and I feel so relaxed with you but also so excited just to be around you." He nodded quickly. "Best."

My lips quickly lifted into a smile. "Best what?"

"You're the best."

I hugged him tightly, nuzzling into his neck as his arms circled me. "I like you," I murmured.

"I like you, too," he whispered, hugging just as tightly—if not more so.

"And you...you don't care that I like the others, too?"

"That's okay," he hurried to say, patting my back. "You can like whoever you want. It's okay—really. They're good people, just like you, and I know they like you. And you like me." He pulled back to look at me, his eyes bright and a huge smile on his face. "I really like you."

I giggled. "You said that."

"Yeah," he teased. "Because it's true."

I nudged my nose against his, giggling some more. His breath was on my face, and his smile was drawing me in.

"Taehyung," I whispered giddily. "We like each other."

"Yeah," he whispered right back, his eyes dancing. "But you know what?"

"What?"

"I think I like you more."

"You don't." I started to giggle when he nudged his nose against my cheek and performed my butterfly kiss. "Taehyung. It—Taehyung, it tickles."

"I know," he said with a grin.

I grabbed his face and closed the distance, performing a butterfly kiss to him, and when I finished and we were inches apart, I inhaled sharply and kissed him.

His body relaxed immediately, and he kissed me back fervently, gathering my hair in his fingers as he deepened the kiss. I parted my lips, and he took the invitation, letting his tongue glide over mine. It tickled, but it was heated and warm, and I moaned, letting his tongue lap around in my mouth.

"Taehyung," I moaned as he kissed my lips in quick succession.

"So pretty, Faeryn," he mumbled ardently, his eyes flicking up to mine and softening. "So pretty."

"And you're so handsome," I whispered in the small space between our lips. "And your lips feel nice."

"They feel nice?" His smile came quickly. Easily. "Just like yours?"

"Mine feels nice, too?"

"So nice." He kissed me to prove it, soft pecks before they became deeper. "Just like you."

I mewled happily, content as we kissed in the backseat while Hoseok drove us to work.

Nothing could've beat this morning.

꧁꧂

 

After I finished my dinner, I kept sneaking glances at Jin, waiting for the right moment to ask him if I was good today. I was sure I was; I was early to work, I helped with dinner—which was slightly difficult with the attention of a few of the others at the table praising me whenever I cut up a different vegetable—and I ate all of my food.

I hoped it was enough, but I couldn't bring myself to disrupt the ongoing chatter to ask. It would draw too much attention—all to me—and I wasn't brave enough. Instead, I gnawed on my lip and watched for when his and Namjoon's conversation would end. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, something regarding work, but all I could focus on was their lips and tone of voice. It was alluring and intoxicating, and I rested my chin on my palms as I watched.

I kept ruminating about this morning with them, but with that came my current reality of Jungkook's little giggles while he talked with Hoseok, Yoongi's habit of licking his lips after every bite, and Jimin's tongue swirling around his chopsticks as he ate.

I wondered when I would talk with Jimin and Yoongi—tell them how I felt and see if they felt the same. Would it be awkward if they didn't? Hoseok said they could handle a crush, but what if I made them feel uncomfortable? I hoped not; like Taehyung said, they were good people. The best people I'd met since my parents and grandparents died aside from Lyric.

When I was with Ryker, I thought I'd never hold kindness again, but with these seven men surrounding me, maybe I could try to hold it. They were giving it out so easily, like being kind to me was easy when Ryker said it was anything but. I had the inkling of fear these seven men and their kindness would see how unlovable I was—the routine words Ryker preached to me; Unlovable, stupid, just a body to use, made to be hurt.

But maybe these men didn't want to hurt me. Maybe, just as they said, they liked me.

Wrinkling my nose with confusion, I pushed my chopsticks around my empty plate. Unfortunately, they scraped against a certain spot to cause an unpleasant sound. I winced, but not more than I did when it caused everyone's attention to snap to me.

"I'm sorry," I blurted, setting my chopsticks down quickly enough for them to create another unpleasant sound. "Sorry, sorry. I—I didn't mean to."

"Hey, no," Hoseok soothed. "It's just an accident; you're okay."

I blinked, more confused than before at the lack of anger at my mistakes, and chose to nod slowly. "Okay. Thank...thank you." I peeked over at Jin, blushing when his attention was already mine.

When I kept staring at him, unsure how to get my tongue to work with my mouth, he set his wine glass down. Wiping his lips with his thumb, his other hand motioned me over with a flick of his fingers.

With downcast eyes, I scooted back my chair and slowly walked over to him. Once in front of him, I clutched the bottom of my blouse as I waited for further instruction.

He set both his forearms on the table as he looked at me. "How was your dinner?"

"Good," I peeped. "Thank you."

"You helped make it."

"Thank...me?"

A few chuckles filled the room from the others, and I turned red, wondering if I'd insulted Jin, but he didn't seem offended.

"I'm sorry," I said just in case.

"For?" he prompted.

"If—well, if that was rude." I squeezed my hands together repeatedly. "Really sorry."

"It wasn't rude."

"Oh. That's—" I inhaled shakily, acutely aware of everyone's attention. "That's good."

He lifted a brow. "Are you all right?"

Wanting to push the attention off the direction the conversation was heading, I blurted, "You said we could talk after dinner.

"I did." He leaned back in his chair. Jutting his chin, he told me, "Tell me what you did today."

"I clocked in five minutes early, and my manager, Chiksu, said I went through morning faxes really quickly, I helped make dinner, and I ate all of it." I took a hopeful breath. "That's what I did."

He motioned me closer, and I quickly obliged, my blush heightened when the front of my legs brushed the side of his thighs. "And you were sweet to Hoseok and Jungkook earlier."

"Very sweet," Hoseok approved.

I shivered as I stammered out my thanks.

"All right," Jin concluded, his attention solely on me. "I want you to pick something."

"Pick something?" I wondered. "What do I pick?"

"A reward."

My pulse quickened. "A reward?"

"Any reward."

"Like...what?"

"Ask for anything," he instructed. "And I'll see if I can give it to you."

My heart raced. "Anything?"

"I don't like repeating myself, Faeryn."

"I'm sorry," I stammered, my motivation falling away.

"You're fine," Jimin reassured me, and Hoseok quickly agreed. "Don't let his attitude get to you." When Jin sent him a look, Jimin only smiled slyly in response.

"Go on," Namjoon instructed. "Ask him."

I shifted from foot to foot anxiously, my voice dropping to a whisper as I asked, "Can I have a kiss?"

His eyes flitted across my face. "From whom?"

"From—I mean, from you," I stuttered. "If that's okay."

"That's what you'd like for your reward?"

"Is that not good?" I stressed. "I—I thought that was okay. I just—I'm so sorry. You said anything, so I thought you meant anything, but I didn't mean to offend you by asking."

"I asked whether you would like it for your reward, and I expect an answer."

"Yes," I sputtered.

"Then lower your face and give me a kiss."

"With everyone..." I tentatively looked around. "Watching?"

"You don't need a reward, Faeryn. You can go sit down until everyone else is done eating."

"I want a reward."

"Don't make me wait."

With a quiet whimper, I lowered myself to where he sat, and with his face already angled toward mine, it gave me perfect access to his lips. With a short breath, I eagerly pressed my lips to his. Firm and right—that's what he was, and he let me kiss him.

He kissed me back, but he was letting me do the work. Letting me explore and taste him.

I was panting when I pulled away, my lips still trembling from the feel of his and the fact that everyone watched. When I began to lift myself up, he grabbed the back of my neck to keep me to him.

"Go get ready for bed," he commanded. "I want you changed and relaxed. We're settling you into a routine."

"A routine?"

"You work better on routines," Namjoon supplemented. "Per our discussion."

"Oh." I nodded quickly. "Okay. A routine."

"That's right." Jin caressed the back of my neck, a fleeting action before he released me. "Go."

"Okay," I said hurriedly and dashed out of the kitchen and upstairs.

When I returned in my pajamas after washing up and brushing my teeth, everyone was done eating and either lounging at the table or cleaning up.

"Hi," I said breathlessly, skidding to a stop near the table. "I did it." I tugged the bottom of my dinosaur shirt to prove it. "Dressed and brushed my teeth."

"Look at your cute shirt," Jimin crooned at me from where he was unloading the dishwasher to make room for dinner's dishes. "Ready to watch your dinosaur show?"

I beamed, rocking slightly where I stood. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" he coaxed. "Do you want to grab some blankets and sit on the couch?"

"No one else wants to use the TV?" I asked. "It's okay if I use it?"

"Yeah, go ahead," several of them told me.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. "Can I go get blankets and watch it now, Jin?"

His back to me at the sink as he washed dishes, he prompted, "A few episodes; then you read a book until bed." He shifted to see me. "Does that work for you?"

"Yes," I agreed quickly. "Thank you."

He motioned toward the living room. "Go on."

Cuddled on the couch with a fluffy blanket, I pulled it up to my chin and settled in for Camp Cretaceous.

Halfway through episode one, Jimin entered the living room. He began to take the seat beside me before tilting his head. "What are you doing with your shirt, pretty girl?"

I looked down to where the rim of my shirt was between my teeth. I looked back at him. "Chewing."

"I can see that." He bent down. "Do you want to stop chewing?"

"I'm not crocheting," I returned, confused.

"I know you're not." He chuckled. "But why does that mean you need to chew your shirt?"

"Because I don't have anything to use—like the crochet hooks or...my strawberry cup and a straw." I looked back down at my shirt where he now gently tugged it away from my mouth. "So I'm chewing."

"Ah." He arranged the blankets around me fondly. "It's the lack of stimulation."

"Yeah." I brought my shirt back between my teeth. "So I have to."

"Oh, you have to?" he teased. I giggled when he squeezed my nose between his fingers. "I can get you your strawberry cup and straw."

"I can't chew the straw," I said with furrowed brows. "I'll break it."

"You're soaking your shirt, honey."

"Yeah, but I want to chew it."

He chuckled, wiping my cheek with his thumb. "Do you usually use something for this—like you use earplugs for sound?"

"Yeah," I said brightly. "A chewing tube and necklace."

"We'll get you new ones, then. How does that sound?"

I beamed. "Okay! I can get it with my next paycheck."

"Don't worry about it." He kissed my forehead. "I'll get it for you; my treat."

"You don't have to," I said with wide eyes.

"I know I don't." He squeezed my cheek gently before lifting himself up and drawing his phone from his pocket. "I want to." Sitting beside me, he asked, "Where do you order them from?"

I grinned giddily and pushed my face against his shoulder. "There's this online shop."

"Oh, is there?" he teased, putting his arm around me and tugging me closer.

"Yeah," I giggled before rattling off the shop name.

He ordered a few different colors for the chewing tube and necklaces, and they were expected to arrive tomorrow afternoon.

"Thank you!" I squealed, hugging him tightly. "I love them."

"Of course," he said, pleased with my happiness. "Anytime."

I blinked up at him. "Jimin?"

"Hm?"

"What do you like?" I subconsciously began nibbling on my shirt. "I want to buy you something."

"You don't have to buy me anything," he responded lightly. "I don't need anything right now."

"But when you do," I pressed hopefully, "you'll tell me, so I can buy it for you?"

"No," he chuckled. "I don't need you to buy me anything."

My lips pouted around my shirt, and I blinked at him sorrily.

"Aw, Faeryn," he said with a light chuckle. "Don't pout."

"But I want to get you something," I insisted with downcast features.

"Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing?" He took my face in his hands and prompted my lips away from my shirt. "Wanting to buy me something like the sweet girl you are."

Once the shirt was out of my mouth, I realized I'd been nibbling on his shirt.

"Sorry," I stammered with flushed cheeks. "I didn't realize it was your shirt."

"That's okay." He patted my side gently. "I don't mind."

I nuzzled against his shoulder before pushing my face into the crook of his neck. He rubbed my back as I settled, mumbling my quiet thank yous into it.

"Jimin," I murmured, mouthing against his neck. "You're so nice to me."

"Shh," he returned fondly. "Relax and watch your show."

"I like you," I whispered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," I squeaked.

"Really?" He gently moved me back, holding my face when I tried to hide again. "Because, to me, it sounded like you said you liked me."

I blushed. "Oh. Yeah. I said that."

"Shy little thing, aren't you?" His nose brushed mine. "You want attention and kisses, but you're too shy to ask, huh?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

"But you asked Jin so nicely tonight, just like how you asked Hoseok and Jungkook this morning." He tilted my chin up. "I'm not going to make you ask me."

"You're...you're not?"

"No." He caressed my chin. "I'll ask you; ask you if it's okay to kiss you, to taste you, to play with your hair while I do." I whined, my eyes fluttering when he pulled me closer. "What do you think? Does that sound like fun?"

"Yeah," I managed. "Please?"

I melted when he kissed me; completely and wholly melted as he took control of the kiss and kept me to him with a firm hand on my back.

"Oh, honey," he said against my lips. "You taste as sweet as you look."

I whined, clutching his shirt and urging our lips back together. "You taste good, too."

"Yeah?" He chuckled. "What do I taste like?"

"Jimin," I panted. "You taste like Jimin."

"And what"—he nibbled on my bottom lip—"does Jimin taste like?"

"Really good, like"—I ran my tongue over this—"the color orange."

"Like the color orange?" Amused, he held me tighter, brushing his nose against my cheek. "You're very cute."

"Yeah," I whimpered, shifting until I was on his lap.

"Oh, look at you," he crooned, both of his hands settling on my hips. "Is it nice and comfy on my lap?"

I cupped his face, dipping mine to prod our lips back together. "Really comfy."

"So sweet." He patted my back lightly. "Pretty, sweet girl who says I taste like the color orange."

I giggled shyly, blushing when he deepened the kiss.

He bounced me lightly on his thigh, and I moaned, breaking the kiss with embarrassment.

"Did that feel good?" he prompted, grasping my jaw to keep my eyes on him. "A little bouncing feels nice?"

"Yeah," I stammered.

"Yeah?" He jostled his thigh, causing pleasure to jolt through me. "You like bouncing?"

"Jimin," I whined, quickly becoming overwhelmed by the new feelings. "I like it."

"You just want to stay on my lap for a little? Bounce until you're too tired?"

"Yes," I breathed out needily. "Can I?"

"Of course you can." He squeezed my waist. "Go ahead; bounce."

He kept bouncing his thigh, and I kept kissing him, breathless and eager.

Eventually, it became too much, and I whimpered, planting my face in his neck.

"You okay?" he queried. "Hm? Too much?"

"Too good," I gasped, my hips stuttering as tears sprung to my eyes.

"Oh, shh, I know. You're okay." He kissed the top of my head. "Just feeling too nice."

I managed a nod, panting when the pleasure heightened. It was unfamiliar but good, and my orgasm washed over me. It took me by surprise, and my tears fell and mixed with my muffled moans.

"Jimin," I kept repeating. "Jimin, Jimin—"

"There you go," he praised, tensing his thigh as I ground through it. "Ride it out."

Eventually, when I slowed, he must've felt the tears on his neck. Carefully moving me back, he took in my features with furrowed brows.

"Hey." He swiped his thumb over my tears. "Are you okay? Was it too much?"

"So good," I managed.

"Poor thing." He kissed my tears away. "You're okay. You want to cuddle up with Jimin who tastes like the color orange?"

I smiled tearfully, nodding as I pressed a kiss to his lips before snuggling into him and reburying my face in the crook of his neck.

"You like this little spot," he said fondly. "You tuck yourself in all of our necks."

"Warm," I admitted drowsily, exhausted after my orgasm. "And safe." I brought my hands up to his chest and held on to him. "Safe."

"You are safe," he attested kindly. "Safe with all of us. No one will hurt you here; we'll keep you safe."

My breath stammered. "Promise?"

"Sweet girl." He rubbed my back. "Of course I do."

"Can...can you say it?"

"I promise." He caressed my hair before squeezing the back of my neck reassuringly. "We all do."

"Thank you," I whispered. "You're so nice to me."

"Shh." He pressed multiple kisses to the side of my head. "Just relax now, hm? Let me take care of you."

I nuzzled closer to him. "I like you so much."

I heard his smile. "I like you so much."

I beamed, kissing his neck repeatedly.

"Do you want to come out here to watch the show?" He prodded his fingers gently against my side. "Hm? You can still keep your face in my neck, just not as much."

"I want to stay here," I mouthed against his neck. "Can I?"

"Of course," he confirmed easily with a pat on my back. "You can stay right here."

I spoke my drowsy thanks, continuing to kiss him until my eyelids began to droop. I jolted when I nearly entered dreamland, and startled, I whined Jimin's name, clinging to him for solace.

"Oh, shh, it's okay," he consoled. "I'm right here."

"Scary," I mumbled, despising what nightmares awaited me.

"I know," he spoke into a kiss to my hair. "But I'm right here, remember? Right here to keep you safe."

"Is she okay?" I heard Hoseok ask, closer than I expected him to be. I mewled, reaching for him blindly. "I'm right here, sweetheart."

"Hoseok," I whispered.

"Hm?" His fingers coursed fondly through my hair. "What do you need?"

"A kiss?" I wondered. 

Jimin chuckled and carefully lifted my face for Hoseok. Once my face was in the open, Hoseok cradled it in his hands and kissed me a few times; softly and so, so gently.

"There." His thumbs worked against my cheeks in firm swipes. "For a good night's sleep."

I beamed sleepily. "Jimin, too."

Jimin complied easily, and once he had, I began to re-tuck into his neck, but I earned a surprise when Hoseok sat beside us. They both shifted me until I was seated on one of their thighs. Instinctively, I ground against them, sighing contentedly at the muted pleasure.

"Comfy," I mumbled. "And it feels nice."

"Do you want to tell Hoseok how good you were for me earlier?" Jimin prompted, squeezing my hip lightly.

I blushed. "Jimin, he...well, he let me grind."

"Did he?" Hoseok squeezed my other hip. When I nodded eagerly, he pressed, "And did that feel nice?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "Yes."

He coursed his hand through my hair with a fond smile. "Did you have a nice time with Jimin?"

"Yeah," I confirmed as he bestowed another kiss on my lips. "We'll do it again, right?"

"Of course," they both spoke in unison, Jimin adding, "Whenever you want. You just come find one of us, okay? We'll make you feel nice."

I kissed Jimin's cheek, then Hoseok's. "Best."

"Best?" they echoed.

"You're the best," I concluded, grinning. "Okay. Goodnight now."

Pushing my face into the crevice between both of where their shoulders touched, it only took me a few moments to fall asleep.

Notes:

I hope everyone is enjoying it so far!!! Thank you for all of the kind comments, and I'm so happy to hear this story is resonating with my fellow neurodivergents🥹💛 I love you guys!!! plus I love all the neurotypicals reading this SOOO MUCH TOO!🥹😍

thank you for giving my book a chance <33 MWAH MWAH💗 p.s do we have any favorite dynamics between Faeryn and the others? I'm curious! 🤭

Chapter 10: Dressing Room Sex

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"Look what arrived," Jimin greeted me when Taehyung and I arrived home from work. They all had different schedules, and Jimin was one of them who returned home first.

I squealed when I saw what he took out from the dishwasher.

"I had time to wash it," he told my excited features as I sprinted to him. "Machine wash friendly."

"Jimin!" I exclaimed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You're so very welcome." He caught me in his arms, kissing my head repeatedly while we hugged. "How was work?"

"Great!" I kissed his chest repeatedly. "You too?"

"Me too." He leaned back, making me squeal again when he put his arm around my waist, dipped me, and kissed me. Lifting me back up, his smile grew at the sight of mine. "Do you want to take a look at these? See which one's your favorite?"

"All of them," I returned ecstatically. "Oh, oh! Taehyung, come look at the yellow one!"

Taehyung grinned, only a few steps behind me. "What are these?"

"I like the straws, remember?" I told him with wide eyes, pushing out one of the necklaces to him. "These are like that, but I can chew."

"Mhm." Jimin nudged my chin with his knuckles. "Instead of on your shirt."

When Yoongi entered the kitchen, I was so full of excitement that I didn't heed that Yoongi and I didn't really have a friendship of sorts—I just wanted to show him what made me happy in hopes it would make him happy, too.

So, I flew over to him, holding out my prize. "Yoongi, look! See what Jimin got for me?"

"Hello." He took a few steps back, startled at my sudden appearance. "What is that?"

"Chewing necklace and tube." I shook them slightly. "Do you like them?"

He squinted. "What...are they for?"

"For chewing." I pushed the tube in my mouth to demonstrate. "See?"

"I see." He kept squinting at them, then at me. "Why?"

"For...chewing," I repeated, glancing back at Taehyung and Jimin in confusion.

Jimin explained, "It's a sensory thing for her."

"Very helpful," Taehyung added.

Yoongi, still confused, didn't say anything. Eventually, I stepped back and braved the question, "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Yes. Fine." He zipped his jacket up to his chin. To Jimin and Taehyung, he alerted, "I'll be in my room."

"What about dinner?" Taehyung called after his retreating figure.

"I'm not hungry," was his fading response.

I looked back at them, blinking in confusion. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, honey, you're fine." Jimin motioned me over. "Did you pick a favorite necklace?"

Still unsure about Yoongi, I walked over to him. "The pink and yellow one." Slowly taking the tube out of my mouth, I looked between him and Taehyung. "Are you sure Yoongi's okay? He looked confused and...maybe sad?"

"He's okay," Taehyung explained. "Nights are just a little...difficult for him."

My brows knitted together. "He's always sad at night time?"

"Not always," Jimin elaborates softly. "Usually after a busy day when the distractions abruptly fall away."

I frowned sorrily. "That doesn't sound nice."

"No," he said somberly. "It's not, but he'll be okay. Don't worry about him, all right? The rest of us worry about that."

"But...he'll be okay?" I pressed. "You'll check on him?"

"Not now," Taehyung revealed. "Later; when he has time to rejuvenate alone."

"Oh. Okay," I empathized. "But he's okay, right? Because you said."

"Don't worry," Taehyung reiterated. "He'll be okay. Jin usually checks on him a little after nine."

Slightly appeased, I nodded slowly. "Okay." I inched closer to them. "When's Jin coming back?"

"He had a late meeting," Jimin revealed, "so guess who's making dinner?"

I lit up. "Us?"

"That's right." He swept me up and twirled me around a few times, evoking a fitful of giggles from me. "And you get to pick what we have."

Cooking dinner with them was easy, fun, and full of laughter, and once we were done, Jin and the others were home.

I received copious amounts of praise from everyone, and I had melted into a happy puddle once I finished my food.

I followed my routine of getting ready for bed and bounding downstairs to watch TV, and just like yesterday, I fell asleep on the couch. This time, on Taehyung.

The next morning, I wondered how and why Ryker hadn't shown up again, how he was paying rent, where he thought I was, and if he would show up again. I didn't want him to—I never wanted to see him again.

Saturday mornings with Taehyung and the others were nice and safe, but Saturday mornings with Ryker weren't. These last few weeks, whenever I was safe, I tended to remember times when I wasn't. Times where I never thought I would be when Ryker would make me cry for hours, when he gave me new wounds that would scar me over to never let me forget what he did, and how I always wished for nice weekends and a nice home like I used to have as a kid.

As a kid, I never had friends, but at least I had a family, and at least I was safe. Now, in this house with these seven men, I felt safe. They were my friends, and I believed they were something else. More than friends, but not in a relationship, and I would leave in less than three months, but I hoped we would still see each other. Maybe even just as friends if they didn't want me anymore.

I hoped they would still want me. I knew I would still want them.

It was Friday, and I kept checking to see if Ryker would show up at the doors. He didn't, but a group of three women did.

They were snickering at the sight of me, but it could've passed for giggles. I stood up straighter as they approached, smiling timidly at them.

"Hi," I greeted. "Can I help you?"

"Hi," one of them mimicked, a pretty blonde. "Can I help you?"

"Oh." I shook my hands around. "I don't need help. I'm the receptionist, so I'm here to help you." I pushed out what I hoped was a friendly smile. "So how can I help?"

"Are you always this uptight?" the brunette asked. "Like...seriously. What do they have you doing down here?"

"Just faxes and paperwork and helping anyone that needs my help," I said, confused. "Do...do I look uptight? I don't feel uptight."

"You look it, sweetheart," the redhead responded with a giggle.

When she called me sweetheart, it didn't feel like when Hoseok did. It made me feel weird, like it wasn't meant to be kind; only to convince me that it was.

Maybe I was reading it wrong, so I told her, "I'm really not." Slowly pushing my dinosaur figures back where they couldn't be seen, I tried again, "How can I help?"

"You can talk to us," the blonde girl said. "We heard you're popular around here. Especially with..."

The brunette sang-song, "BTS."

"Taehyung even leaves his usual schedule for lunch with you," the redhead continued slyly. "And the others take turns. Is that what they do with you? Take turns?"

"Take...turns?" I questioned, confused. "Yeah, you just...you just said they did. At lunch."

The three of them looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Of course, of course," the blonde girl said through their laughter. "She did already say that. How is she so stupid, not understanding such a simple thing?"

This edged their laughter on, and deferred, I stammered, "It's okay; she was just a little confused."

"Is this why they like you?" the redhead snickered. "Because of the stupidity? So they can do whatever they want?"

"What...what do you mean?" I asked, my voice dipping with discomfort.

"If we explained," the brunette said, linking her arms with the other two. "You still wouldn't understand. God, I know our friend's the blonde one, but you act like it."

The blonde jabbed the brunette's side as they all laughed, and as they turned to leave, she called over her shoulder, "Hide your dinosaurs better next time. They're just adding to it."

"Just adding to it?" I whispered, my mind whirring.

"Hey," Jaehyun greeted, his hands in his pockets as he crossed the lobby to me. "Here to pick up some faxes sent down from the third floor for."

"Hey," I managed, blinking away my blurry vision as I turned to the fax machine. "What's—what's the name?"

Once he said the name, I picked up the fax and handed it to him slowly. "Jaehyung, what does...what does it mean to take turns?"

"What?" He accepted the fax. "Taking turns during games or something?"

"A game?" I whispered. "I'm a game?"

"Well, are you any fun?" he joked, already turning to leave. "If you are, then sure. You can be a game." He shook his head, disappearing out of sight. "You always crack me up, Petal."

I stared after him, confusion making me dizzy as I slowly looked down at my dinosaurs. Yoongi said he liked them, but the women told me to hide them. I sat in my chair, deflating as I waited for the next person to help while ruminating and trying to decide what their words meant.

By the time work ended, I put my dinosaurs into my bag, making sure they were on the very bottom.

"Hey."

I looked up to see Namjoon approaching.

I blinked, quickly removing my hand from my bag. "Hi, I—hi. I was just putting my...stuff away."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah," I said, my eyes darting around—anywhere but at him. "Work stuff."

He motioned me forward. "C'mere." I listened, logging the computer off before hurrying to him. In front of him, he tucked his fingers under my chin and lifted it. "You're a horrible liar."

"I'm sorry," I managed. "It's—it's kind of work stuff."

"What 'kind-of-work-stuff' are you hiding from me?"

"Not—not from you," I whisper-yelled, blinking rapidly at him. "Just from...I don't..." I hung my head, defeated. "Maybe you."

"And what are you 'maybe' hiding from me?"

"You...you can't laugh." I looked up at him indignantly as my lower lip wobbled. "You have to promise."

"I've already made that promise." He pressed his thumb into my chin, lifting it slightly to stabilize my lips trembling. "We did a test."

"We did," I agreed nervously. "But people lie all the time. They use...weird words and phrases that confuse me, and I never know what's real or not. Why can't they just—" I fulminated, "Why can't people either lie or tell the truth? Why is there in between with sarcasm and weird laughs and—and just—weird smiles."

He raised a brow as he leveled with me. "What happened?"

"What?"

"What happened to make you this anxious? It's happened with Jungkook before, and I'll be damned if it happens to you, so I'll ask you again, Faeryn." He dipped his face close to mine. "What happened?"

"Just...there were a few people who said that you all took turns with me at lunch, but they were laughing like it was bad, and I...I don't understand why they were laughing."

"Okay." His gaze was analytic; he was thinking, his thoughts whirring behind his eyes. "Tell me what they said, word for word."

"They...they said I was uptight, and when I said I wasn't, they said I was and called me sweetheart." My brows knitted together. "Hoseok calls me that, but it didn't sound nice when they said it." I chewed on my lip, searching his face for answers. "Why didn't it sound nice?"

His eyes narrowed. "What else?"

"Well, they—" I hesitated, and my voice sunk into a whisper. "This feels like I'm tattling."

"You're not tattling; you're telling me what happened." His forehead nudged mine. "Now keep going."

"Okay," I said uncertainly. "Well, they made fun of one of their friends, but the friend laughed with them, and...she was looking right at me. They all were. And I told them not to make fun of her because she was just confused, and then they asked if...if that's why you all like me." My features twisted. "Because of the stupidity; because you can do whatever you want."

His eyes darkened. "And what are you hiding in your bag?"

"You...you don't look happy."

"Answer me."

"My dinos," I whispered. "They saw them, and they...they said to hide them better."

"Your dinos? Crochet?"

"No, I..." My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and I felt sick. "Please don't make me tell you. I—I don't know why, but I feel so embarrassed."

"Faeryn." His forehead creased. "Don't let them make you feel embarrassed. I want you to tell me, and you can. Don't you think you can?"

"I can," I said, determined. "I...I can."

"I know you can."

Taking a deep breath, I pushed my hand into my bag and scrounged around until I lifted my brontosaurs action figure.

"They're not paperweights," I whispered. "They're collectibles. And I really like them. And you can't laugh because we already did a test."

"All right." His vacant hand passed through my hair. "Because of the test."

I peeked up at him. "Would...you laugh if we didn't do the test?"

"No." His lips pulled upwards slightly, but it was strained. "I wouldn't." He lowered to my height, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Listen to me. You like dinosaurs, and dinosaurs are very interesting creatures. I like you, my friends like you—hell, even Jaehyun likes you—but you're not an interesting creature. Do you know what you are?"

I shook my head with wide eyes as he continued, "You're sweet. You say random things until one of us smiles or laughs, you can't stop smiling minutes after you finally accomplish it, you run around the house with your strawberry cup, humming and walking around on your tip-toes; I can hear you giggle throughout the house. Do you know what I do when I hear you?"

"No," I managed.

"I smile, because when you giggle, you sound happy." His left hand cupped the back of my head. "I don't want anyone to take that away from you, so talk to me—to us—when someone makes you feel uneasy. Unease adds up, Faeryn, and it will take your happiness away. Don't let it."

"Okay," I breathed out. "I'll try."

"You will." His eyes flicked from each of mine. "Now; did they say anything else?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I can't remember."

"All right." He nodded a few times. "That's all right." Lifting himself, he held out his hand. "Take my hand."

I listened, holding on tightly as I looked up at him for further instruction.

His thumb poked over to caress the top of my hand. "Are you hungry?"

"We get to pick what's for dinner again?" I asked. "Like when Jin had a meeting the other day?"

"Not today." He led me forward. "I want to take you somewhere to eat."

My lips parted. "Just...you and me?"

"I want to talk to you. Learn more about you." He cocked a brow. "Dinner's a good option for talking, and chewing stimulates you."

I blushed. "You and me?"

He peered down into my face. "Is that a no to dinner?"

"I want to," I said quickly, clinging to his hand. "With you."

"All right, then." He led me to the doors. "Do you want to pick where we go, or do you want me to decide?"

"You," I said without hesitation.

His car was sleek and clean, and it smelled of pine and his cologne. I drooped in my seat in relief, greedily inhaling the smell as he drove us to a restaurant of his choosing.

He took us somewhere secluded and warm, and I was buzzing with excitement and nerves as the waitress led us to a table. Ryker took me to dinner at the beginning of our relationship when he was trying to lure me into his trap, but the atmosphere here felt different; Namjoon felt different.

He made me nervous, but not like Ryker. I wanted to impress him and make him proud of me, make him smile and laugh, but with Ryker, I just wanted to impress him enough not to hurt me.

"Namjoon," I spoke in a hushed tone so I wouldn't distract anyone from eating.

He handed me a menu as the waitress promised to return with our drinks. "Hm?"

"This is...this is a really nice restaurant."

"I'm glad you think so." He tapped my menu. "I want you to pick something you'll eat; there are a few of your safe foods on here."

I melted, and with a nod, I began browsing.

"Namjoon?" I tried again.

"Yes, Faeryn."

"Thank you for taking me here. I...I like restaurants."

He looked at me, then. Right over the top of his menu. "Do you go to restaurants often?"

"Well, no, but I—I want to."

"Then why don't you?"

Embarrassed, I revealed in an undertone, "Because I don't want to go alone."

"There's nothing wrong with going alone."

"I know," I murmured. "I just don't want to go alone."

He set his menu down. "You've never gone with Lyric?"

"No, but I wanted to," I rushed to say. "She used to ask me to go out with her, but Ryker—" I froze, immediately focusing on my menu. "No, I haven't gone with Lyric."

His fingers rapped against the table. "You should ask her."

I peeked up at him. "What?"

"To go to a restaurant with you." He returned his attention to his menu. "Friends are important."

My stomach dipped. "Are...are we friends?"

"Do you want to be friends with me, Faeryn?"

My heart jumped into my throat. "Yeah, I—yeah."

"Pick something to eat." His eyes caught mine. "We'll talk after."

Fumbling with the menu at his intent gaze, I managed a confirmation before studiously studying my choices.

"Namjoon," I whispered.

"Yes."

"Can I have chicken tenders and mashed potatoes?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes," I agreed hopefully.

"Then you can have it."

I beamed, holding my menu tightly as I waited for the waitress, and when she asked what I wanted, I told her without stuttering. Feeling proud of myself for my accomplishment, I clasped my hands on my lap as I watched Namjoon recite his order.

Once the waitress left, Namjoon took a sip of his drink. When he caught my eye, the corners of his crinkled. "You're smiling."

"Yeah." I sat up taller. "Did you—I mean, did you see me? I didn't stutter."

"I did." Placing his cup down, he nudged mine closer to me. Taking the hint, I sucked around the straw as he continued, "It's fine if you stutter."

"Maybe." I watched my cola disappear with each suck of my straw. "But I'm glad I didn't."

He prodded the straw from my lips with a chuckle. "Don't ruin your appetite."

"Sorry," I squeaked with a blush.

He smiled in response, and I swooned at the sight.

"How do you feel?" he prompted. "About earlier."

"Oh. I feel...fine."

"Do you?"

"Maybe a little confused," I admitted. "But that's okay." I laughed a bit. "I'm always a little confused."

"What those women said to you wasn't okay. A part of you knows that, which is why you feel uneasy."

My features fell. "Yeah, but I don't understand. Why is it bad for everyone to take turns with me at lunch?"

"It's..." He exhaled deeply. "It was an innuendo. Most of what they were saying was."

"An innuendo for what?"

His fingers resumed rapping against the table. "A sexual one."

I paled as understanding flooded through me, making me feel sick. "Oh."

"Faeryn."

My vision blurred. "Yes?"

"Look at me."

"No, thank you," I whispered.

He tapped the space in front of me, causing my eyes to flit to his.

My breath hitched. "That's cheating."

"We like you," he said firmly. "And when we like someone as a friend or something more, we treat them with kindness; we don't take turns."

"You...you've all liked the same person before?"

"No. We haven't."

"Oh." I felt an inkling of hope bloom in my stomach. "Okay."

"Did you hear what I said, or is that what you're focused on?"

"Both," I peeped.

He held his palm upward on the table, and I quickly slipped my hand into his. "We're not using you or taking turns with you. Everything we do is because we like you, and Faeryn, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've said you enjoy it. Do you not enjoy it?"

"I do," I blurted. "But I—I don't want to be hurt again."

He caressed the top of my hand. "No one can guarantee a life without pain, but the pain Ryker put you through won't be an issue with us. We're not like him, and I think you know that. Fear is finicky; it has a way of confusing us and keeping us from receiving what we want in fear it will mirror what we've received in the past. Do you want us to stop what we've been doing with you?"

"No," I said hurriedly. "I like it."

"Then talk to me. Tell me what's going through your head."

I chewed on my lip anxiously. "I really like all of you. You...you make me feel nice, and you don't make fun of me."

"Why would we make fun of you?"

My voice sank. "For having Autism."

"Faeryn."

"I know," I stressed. "I know you said you wouldn't, and you haven't, but other people have and use it against me like those women today, and I'm just—I'm so tired of it, and I just want to be normal. If I was normal, I could've seen Ryker's intentions easier and left right away, but everything was so confusing, and it's all my fault."

He stressed his hold on my hand. "Faeryn," he said presently. "There are people without Autism who become trapped with abusers. They're all the same; they lure you in with their kind facade, and then they trap you. Spider webs are pretty, aren't they? Spiders work so hard to create a perfect trap, and once they catch their prey, they don't let them go unless the prey manages to escape what once looked pretty."

"How...how does the prey get away?"

"Sometimes they can escape on their own, and sometimes, they need help. Sometimes," he continued. "Both can be true at once."

"How?"

"You can free yourself as much as you can, but if you're still stuck, someone will give you the final tug to freedom."

"Freedom," I said carefully. "Is...is that what I am? Free?"

"I don't see Ryker around here."

"Free," I said again, trying it out. "Even if he comes back?"

"He can't take you back," he spoke seriously. "He'll have to go through security at HYBE, and anywhere else, he'll have to go through us."

My chin wobbled. "You won't let him get me?"

"He won't lay a hand on you again." His hold on me tightened. "We won't let him."

I swallowed roughly around the emotion clogging my throat. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me for the bare minimum."

"Because it"—I sniffled—"makes your skin crawl?"

"That's right."

"Namjoon?"

"Hm?"

I wiped my nose. "Can we have dessert?"

"We haven't had dinner yet, and you're thinking about dessert?"

"I'll pay."

"No, you won't." His lips tugged upward, and with a pat on my hand, he released me. "I've got the bill."

My brows furrowed. "We'll split it."

"We won't."

"Why not? I can help."

"I know you can," he confirmed. "But I'll take care of the bill."

I frowned. "You're cheating."

"Am I?"

"I thought you would let me split the bill when you said we would go out to eat."

"You thought wrong."

I folded my arms. "No one lets me pay."

"Good."

I gaped at him before sinking further into my seat. "I'll pay; you'll see."

"If you pay, you'll deal with all of us."

My eyes widened. "How?"

"Do you want to find out?"

I blinked. "No."

"Good." He sat back. "Tell me how the rest of your day went."

"Good," I said slowly, pushing the straw around in my drink. Quieter, I mumbled, "Better if I was allowed to help pay."

"You're allowed," he returned. "And you're also allowed to see what happens if you do."

"You said you won't hurt me."

His features shifted. "I would never."

I braved his face. "Then?"

"I'll make you go around our house and tell everyone you paid until, to compensate, they'll each buy you dinner for the next month."

My lips parted before I protested, "That's not fair."

"It's what will happen if you pay any portion of the bill."

"That's not fair," I repeated indignantly.

"It wouldn't be fair for me to let a beautiful woman pay for a dinner I invited her to."

I began to speak before faltering, and a bright red fanned my cheeks. "Fine," I managed.

His brow quirked. "Fine."

"Since I'm not paying"—I sipped from my drink—"I'm allowed to get full on soda."

His smile was handsome, just like him. "Don't complain when you can't finish your dish."

"I can finish my dish," I said matter-of-factly. "Just wait and see."

"Are you telling me what to do?"

I peeked up at him. "Just a little."

"'Just a little' is going to earn you three months of dinner on us."

"Namjoon," I protested.

He laughed, setting my cup near his. "Test me, Faeryn, and I'll test you back."

"Well, I—I'm going to—I'm going to—" My lips turned downward in a frown. "I'm going to sneak your wallet."

"Oh yeah?" He leaned forward. "And do what with it?"

"Slip money into it. Lots of money. Cold, hard...cash." I nodded to myself. "Yeah. I will."

"Will I have to wait and see for that, too?"

"Yes," I said with a huff. "And you can add another month; I'll just add more money to your wallet."

The waitress arrived just then with our food, dishing our plates to us.

"Excuse me," I said with furrowed brows. She looked at me brightly as she waited for my question. "Do you think he should let me pay?"

Her smile quickly turned into a frown, and her hand situation to a place on her hip. "Honey, is he making you pay?"

"No," I refuted quickly. "But he won't let me pay."

"This," Namjoon said into a sip of his drink, "is tattling."

The waitress laughed. "Let him pay, girlie. It's hard to find gentlemen these days."

"But if he's a gentleman," I protested. "How can I be a gentlewoman?"

They both laughed, and I sighed, accepting my defeat sadly as I pushed around my potatoes.

"Thank you for the food," I mumbled as she walked away after sharing a wink with Namjoon. To him, I said, "I'm going to tell Jin."

"Go ahead." He cut into his steak. "He'll take you to a dinner he'll pay for, and I'll tag along to see you become too shy to ask to pay after he denies you the first time."

"I won't be shy," I refuted, faltering when I thought more about it. "Not too shy."

He chuckled, gesturing to my plate. "Eat."

"I'll tell him," I mumbled to myself, pushing a forkful of potatoes into my mouth. "I'm not too shy."

"Then tell him when we get home; prove me wrong."

"Well...he might be busy." I chewed my potatoes as I averted my eyes. "So I can't tell him yet."

"You're proving me right, and we haven't left the restaurant yet."

"No," I denied. "I'll—I'll tell him. I will. But he'll probably be getting ready for bed or washing the dishes—maybe playing video games or talking to someone else." I tried to shrug nonchalantly but was pretty sure I failed. "So, I might not be able to."

"Do you believe the words leaving your mouth?"

I shoved my potatoes aside for my chicken tenders. "No."

"Great." He chewed around a bite of his steak, his eyes crinkling as he looked at me. "Glad we're on the same page."

I stuck my tongue out at him, earning another laugh from him. 

꧁꧂

 

"What's going on?" Jin pulled his headset to rest around his neck, eyeing Namjoon and me suspiciously from where we stood at his room's entrance.

"Faeryn"—Namjoon put his hand on my back, nudging me forward—"has something to tell you."

Jin lifted a brow. "Does she?"

"She does."

Jin pushed his gaming chair away from his PC, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at me. "And why do you need to be here, Namjoon?"

"For my personal amusement," was his response.

Jin looked at me. "What is he making you ask me?"

Namjoon chuckled as I sputtered, "How did you know?"

"You're nervous," he said in response, jutting his chin outward. "Ask me what you have to ask me."

"Well, I—I don't want to distract you." I motioned to his PC. "Because you're busy."

Namjoon dipped his mouth to my ear. "Too shy?"

I huffed, standing up as tall as I could. "I'm not shy."

"You are," they spoke in unison, causing heat to rise to my cheeks.

"I'm not," I returned indignantly, although my voice quivered when Namjoon's breath heated my neck and Jin's gaze penetrated through me.

"Go on, then," Namjoon prompted. "Ask him."

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I dug my fingers into my palms. "Jin, I have something to ask you."

"I'm aware, Faeryn."

"Right." I cleared my throat. "Well, I—okay. I'm going to ask you now."

"Faeryn."

"I am," I insisted with a stammered breath. "I'm just—I'm thinking." Wringing my hands out, I rushed out, "Well, if Namjoon paid for dinner and he didn't let me pay any of it, would you let me pay him back?"

He adjusted his headset, regarding me with his perfectly sculpted arched brow. "No."

Namjoon chuckled against my neck, and my knees wobbled from the sensations.

"Why not?" I tried.

"Why not?" Jin repeated, both his brows raising slowly. Steadily. "Are you questioning me?"

"No," I squeaked, earning more chuckles from Namjoon. "I'm—no, I'm not. You—you can go back to playing your game. I mean, if you want to. I'm not telling you what to do; it's just a suggestion."

He spread his thighs apart, locking eyes with me as he pointed between them. I understood, and my heart raced as I shuffled over to him and between his thighs.

"What did you say to Namjoon when you were at dinner?" His hands rose to my waist to keep my nervous shuffles still. "Did you not let him take care of you?"

"I just wanted to help pay," I managed, zoning in on his shirt instead of his eyes.

"Did he offer to take you to dinner?"

"Yes," I agreed, "But—"

He tapped my waist admonishingly, silencing me immediately. "Then it was on him to pay. Now, if you want to take him to dinner, you can pay. If," he added wryly, "he lets you."

"He won't," Namjoon responded with a lilt of amusement.

Defeated, I pushed my forehead forward to rest on Jin's chest. "Sorry," I whispered. "For interrupting your game."

He patted my side. "Do you want to join me?"

I perked up. "Really?"

Quickly, he arranged me up to sit between his thighs, placing the controller in my hands. "Play this round for me."

Red in the face and giddy, I squirmed happily as I took over his game, sending Namjoon a triumphant look.

"Wow." He shook his head wryly. "Give Jin that look, Faeryn. Let me see what he does."

I squeaked, clutching the remote tighter as I tried to focus on the game. "No, thank you."

"A hypocrite, I see. Well, Faeryn." He sighed. "I don't make it a habit to befriend hypocrites."

I turned to him, blinking at the amused expression he wore. Fondness was hidden within it, and I stored it away to think about in bed with my hands clutching my racing heart.

"Perhaps I'll make an exception," he mused, and with that, he left, closing the door behind him.

I shifted to look up at Jin, turning red at our proximity. "Did—hey, Jin?"

"Yes."

I chewed the inside of my cheeks. "Did Namjoon and I just become friends?"

He angled my face back to the game. "Did I tell you to stop playing?"

I shivered at the deep timbre of his voice and the rumble it provided his chest. "No, I—I'll keep playing."

Prodding his fingers along my waist, he said in a low tone, "It seems you and him have become friends, yes." Closer to my ear than before, he prompted, "Does that excite you?"

"Yes," I managed.

"Tell me why it excites you, Faeryn."

"Because he's nice." I made his character move forward and dodge upcoming enemies, all the while my thoughts circulated around him and Namjoon. "And he...he took me to dinner, and he helped make me a routine, and he doesn't laugh at me, just with me."

His hold on me increased. "There's more."

"I like him," I continued quietly, burning up. "He smells so nice, and he looks like he gives great hugs, and sometimes when he smiles, it looks fond, and I—I want that all the time. And..." I swallowed roughly. "He's so nice to Jungkook."

"Ah." He rapped his fingers against my sides, slow and steady. "You enjoy seeing him with Jungkook."

I twitched with anticipation. "Yes."

"Why is that?"

"Because he—well, because he calls him pretty," I said in an undertone, embarrassed. "And he hugs him, and...and he calls him nice names, and he teases him, and...and he touches his face and tells him he's doing a good job."

I trailed off as my grip tightened on the controller.

"Is that it?" Jin squeezed my waist. "You're flustered because he praises Jungkook and not you?"

"No," I stammered. "I—I like that he praises Jungkook. I don't need him to praise me."

"You would like for him to."

"Just...just a little."

He hummed in response, low and contained. "If you wore pink, perhaps he would praise you. Perhaps," he rumbled, his breath heating my neck, "he would call you pretty, as he did with Jungkook. What did he call him?"

"Cute and polite," I whimpered. "And so, so pretty."

"Word for word," he mused, arranging my hair over one shoulder. "You think about this often."

"Yeah," I managed. "I—I want him to say it to me."

"Dress yourself nice and pretty for him." He shifted me closer to him, right onto his lap, and I whined, squirming as heat flashed through me. "Let him see how pretty you look in pink."

When I instinctively tried to grind, he put a stop to it immediately with rough pressure to my sides.

"Play the game, Faeryn," he instructed, his tone gravelly.

I could barely breathe.

꧁꧂

 

"Jimin," I began anxiously, walking up to him early Saturday morning.

He turned from the stove-top, smiling once he saw me. "Hey." He moved back slightly to allow me to see the tea he was brewing. "Thought you might be awake."

I hurried to him, planting my face in his chest as his arms wrapped around me. "Jimin."

"What's got you all squirmy this morning?" He chuckled, tightening his hold to still my anxious shuffling. "Hm? What do you have to ask me?"

I struggled within myself before blurting, "I want to be pretty."

"Oh, honey." He caressed my hair. "You are pretty; very pretty."

"No," I refuted hesitantly. "Like Jungkook."

He leaned back to view my face. "Like Jungkook?"

"Pretty like Jungkook," I half-whispered. "I...I want to be like him."

"You're pretty like Faeryn," he returned, amused and slightly concerned. "Where is this coming from?"

I bit my lip. "Namjoon calls him pretty."

The creases in his forehead eased as he began to understand. "You want Namjoon to call you pretty?"

I nodded quickly.

"Honey," he soothed. "You don't have to look like Jungkook for him to call you pretty."

"But he doesn't call me pretty," I insisted. "So if I wear pink, he will." I hesitated. "Right?"

"He likes the color pink on Jungkook," he agreed with a few soft pats to my back. "So I'm sure he'll like it on you, but you look pretty in anything." He squeezed my hip. "I'm sure in nothing as well."

I blushed, hitting his chest and squirming in response. "Jimin."

"Mhm?"

"Can you take me to the store?" I grasped his shirt as I looked at him through my lashes. "I want to buy pink pajamas."

He loosed a breath, chuckling shortly after. Pressing his thumb into my chin, he whistled lowly. "You can get anything you want looking at me like that."

I giggled, pushing onto my tip-toes as I offered my lips. He kissed me, groaning softly into it as he squeezed his arms around me until I couldn't breathe.

Giggling, I tried to escape, but he kept kissing me. First my lips, then my face, then my neck, and when he tickled my sides, I finally managed to break free.

Breathless and giddy, I told him, "I'll put my shoes on."

He licked his bottom lip. "Mhm."

"You're staring at me."

"It's impossible not to."

With a blossoming smile and an eruption of butterflies, I giggled as I hurried to claim my shoes.

At the store, I clung to his hand and swung it up and down as we headed into a boutique.

"Look," I whispered excitedly, pointing out a row of pink items. "Can we go there?"

"We can go anywhere you want," he responded.

Grinning, I pulled him after me, stopping in front of the rack. Releasing his hand to sort through my options—but not before kissing the top of it in apology—I gasped when I saw a similar, silk set to Jungkook's.

"Look!" I exclaimed, lifting it for Jimin to view.

"I see it," he said with a smile, caressing the back of my head as I waited for his approval. "They're like Jungkook's pajamas, aren't they?"

"Yeah!" I agreed. "And they're pretty."

He chuckled. "I know they're pretty, but do you want something different?"

I twisted my lips to the side. "Would Namjoon like something different?"

"I'm asking what you want." He lightly scratched my scalp, earning a satisfied sigh from me. "Not Namjoon."

"I want him to think I'm pretty," I murmured, hesitating when a certain pajama caught my eye. It was a silk ruffled cami with matching pink shorts. It looked pretty and fun, and I did tend to overheat at night, but my eyes drifted back to the longer set; the one that matched Jungkook's.

"You like the shorter option, hm?" He kissed the top of my head. "Why don't you try both on? See which one you like."

I perked up. "Best idea."

Grabbing both pajamas, I took Jimin's hand and tugged him to the dressing rooms.

"It's pretty empty this morning," he noted once we arrived. "No one enjoys early morning pajama shopping, huh?"

"More for me," I said excitedly, bowing to greet the worker. "Just two items, please. Thank you!"

She handed me my item counter for the door, and I looked at Jimin for confirmation.

"Call me if you need me," he told me. "I'll be right out here."

I nuzzled against his arm before skipping to my designated door and hanging up my number counter outside of it. Once inside, I chose the long pajamas first.

They were silk like the short pajamas, and they were so soft against my skin. Rubbing my arms lightly as I stared at myself through the mirror, I imagined Namjoon's hands were mine. That he was rubbing my arms and my stomach, dipping down until he reached lower and lower and lower.

My breath hitched, and I removed my hand, scrambling out of the PJS to try on the next ones.

It revealed a lot more skin, and I shivered as the overhead fan caused a gentle breeze. Goosebumps rose along my arms as I imagined walking around the house in these pajamas. I hadn't shown this much skin, but it sent a jolt of excitement and arousal through me. Their attention would be on me, a few of them would fawn over me—especially Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung—and the others would stare, unable to look away.

Maybe they would touch me—even if just a little. A hand on my back while someone else's hand was on my stomach or my thighs—between them, too.

I watched as my cheeks flushed to match the color of the pajamas, and a quiet whine slipped past my lips.

"Everything okay in there?" Jimin asked, surprising me. He was much closer to my door than before, and I jumped up, fumbling with the doorknob before opening the door and peeking my head out.

"Jimin?" I whispered as I looked around for the new worker, but she was nowhere to be found. "What are you doing?"

"Checking on you." He rested his palm just near the doorframe, tilting his head as he looked at me. "You've been in there for a while."

"Have I?" I ran a hand through my hair shakily. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize."

"That's okay," he soothed. "I just wanted to check to see if everything was all right. You're not in trouble, honey, hm?"

"Okay," I breathed out, subconsciously reaching for him. He took my hand, raising a brow in question. "Jimin, I...I don't know which one to choose."

"How about I buy both for you?"

"No," I denied quickly. "I'm buying this, and if you buy it for me, I'll tell Jin."

His lips quirked with amusement. "Jin will allow it."

"Jimin," I protested, pouting and once again looking at him through my lashes.

He swore under his breath, squeezing my hand tightly. "All right. That's fine. I won't buy them for you."

I beamed. "Thank you." Inching further behind the door, I carefully tugged him with me. "Can...can you tell me which one you like better?"

He was behind the door with me in seconds, his features tight as he viewed me. "Look at you in your cute little shorts."

I tugged the ruffles lightly, looking at him hopefully. "You like them?"

"Mm." He stepped closer, taking the cami's fabric between his thumb and two index fingers. "I love it. And look at how soft this is." Dropping it, he peered into my face. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah," I said eagerly. "I like it, and I—I like that you like it."

"I do like it," he attested, his tongue poking his cheek as his eyes drifted along my body. "You look so sweet in pink."

"Pretty?" I tried.

"So sweet and pretty." He carefully arranged my hair off of one shoulder, humming as he viewed the bare skin. "So very sweet and pretty."

"Do...do you think the others would like it?" I shifted from side to side, biting my lip as I waited for his response. "Will they think I'm pretty and...and want to feel my pajamas like you did?"

He made a low noise in response, straight from his throat. "Yes, sweet girl. They'll want to touch."

I whimpered quietly from the way he held me in his intense gaze, and at the sound, he closed the distance between us, catching my lips in his and kissing me hard. I was breathless through and after it, grasping onto his shirt for support.

"Jimin," I managed as he kissed me in quick succession before deepening it once more. "The—the worker."

"She had other customers to take care of, and I"—his tongue glided over mine before he nipped my bottom lip lightly and earned a moan from me—"have you to take care of."

"Jimin," I panted. "I'll—I'll ruin the pajamas."

"How would you ruin them?"

I blushed, whining when he pulled away from the kiss to look at me.

He chuckled, his eyes darkening at what my expression held. "Is someone getting a little too excited? Hm? Is she getting a little wet down here?" He cupped me through my shorts, earning a sharp intake of air from me and a strangled moan I struggled to keep quiet. "Oh, she is."

"Jimin," I begged. "I—I'll make a mess."

"Poor thing." He swiped his tongue over my bottom lip. "That's okay. I can clean you up, can't I?"

"With what?"

"Well, pretty girl." He kissed my cheek. "I could lift you, put you against the wall, spread your legs, and clean up whatever mess you make, or we can purchase these, go home, and you can let me ruin and clean you up in my bed."

Dizzy with arousal, I managed, "Home, please."

"Mm." He kissed my other cheek. "Good idea." Squeezing my hip, he prompted, "Do you need help changing?"

"Yeah," I agreed headily. "Please."

He hummed his approval as he slowly removed my shorts, lifting the waistbands of my panties slightly before releasing them. "Pretty girl and her pretty panties." He lowered himself to kiss my stomach, just above the panties, and I bit my tongue to suppress my moans. When he trailed his kisses down to my panties and toward where I was aching for him, I bucked my hips in response, earning a strained chuckle from him.

"Feeling a little needy?" He kissed my clothed clit, and I grabbed his shoulders for stability, breathing heavily as I watched him. "Oh, honey, I'm feeling a little needy, too. I want to taste you, hear those pretty moans when you feel good, see you laying on my bed in nothing but your panties, but I'll just take those off, won't I? Push them to the side and see how pretty you are?"

"Please," I begged. "Jimin, I—I want that."

"I know, oh, I know," he crooned, kissing my clit as he caressed my throbbing core with his fingers. "Hold on to my shoulders."

I listened, immediately rewarded with his fingers slipping past my panties.

His tongue clicked the roof of his mouth. "Look at how wet you are. Such a mess."

"Sorry," I whined.

"I know you can't help it," he soothed. "Would it be okay if I pushed a finger in, sweet girl? Make you feel a little better, hm?"

"Yes, yes, please," I panted.

"Good girl," he praised, making me shudder with appreciation.

He slipped a finger in, slowly pumping it in and out, and my grip on him was intense as pleasure coursed through me.

"More," I gasped, trying to be as quiet as possible. "Please."

"Already?" He patted my butt, using it to ease me closer to him. "Just as greedy as I am, aren't you?"

"A little," I whined, mewling when he added another finger. Clenching around him, I rocked on his fingers, dizzy when he voiced his praise and approval.

"Jimin," I moaned.

"I'm right here." He curled his fingers, letting them drag along my walls, and I cried out, clamping my hand over my mouth right after I did. "Poor thing can't be quiet, can she? Just feels too good, huh?"

"Yeah," I whimpered. "And I—I have to—"

"Have to what?" he teased, his eyes dark and swirling with his arousal. "Be loud?"

"No," I whispered, my voice breaking with pleasure. "Come."

"You have to come?" He lifted his thumb and pressed it against my clit, rubbing it lightly. "Can you beg nice and pretty?"

"Please," I breathed out desperately as I ground against his fingers. "Please let me come, Jimin, please. I—I really have to, so please let me."

"Oh, there you go." Lowering my panties, he released a tight exhale at the sight of my clit. "Everything about you is just so pretty, Faeryn." Taking it in his mouth, he sucked lightly, causing my eyes to roll back and my hips to stammer. "Go ahead, honey; you can do it. Come for me."

The vibrations of his mouth around my clit while he gave his permission sent me headfirst into my orgasm.

I gasped and moaned through it, muffling every sound behind my hand.

"Oh, such a good girl." He lifted me after lifting my panties back up, letting me wrap my legs around him and grind against the front of his pants. "Did that feel nice?"

"So nice," I gasped out, my brows furrowed as I continued grinding against him as I chased the fading feeling of my orgasm. "I want more."

"More?" He cupped my ass, assisting my movements. "You want me to take you home and keep you in my bed for the rest of the morning?"

"Yes," I pleaded with a shiver of excitement. "Yes, please."

"Let's put your clothes back on and buy these pajamas."

"I'm buying them," I made sure he knew, kissing him fervently. "You said I could."

"I did say that." He squeezed my ass, patting it lightly before setting me down. "All right, Faeryn. You'll change back into your clothes, buy your pajamas, and go home."

I mewled against his lip in agreement, kissing him a few times before grabbing my clothes. "Okay, okay, you have to go before the worker comes back."

"Mm." He smiled into a kiss on my cheek. "You didn't care about that when you were riding my fingers."

I batted his chest and nudged him out of my dressing area once I confirmed we were alone, and I dressed as quickly as I could. In the middle of it, Jimin asked for the long pair so he could put it away for me.

When I was finished, he was leaning against the wall waiting for him. "Oh, hey." He was already smiling, easy and right. "You look pretty today."

I blushed, my smile growing to match his. "You look handsome."

"How nice of you to say." He wrapped his arm around my waist, tugging me to his side. "Let's go pay."

After I paid at the checkout, I earned a surprise when the worker handed Jimin a bag. Walking to the exit with him, I wondered, "What did you buy?"

"Pajamas."

"Really?" Curiously, I tried to peak into the bag, but he wouldn't let me. "Which ones?"

"It's a surprise."

I tugged at his shirt. "Tell me."

"Can you be a good girl and wait?"

I huffed, nudging my side against his. "You're cheating."

"How am I cheating?"

"The...the praise thing. It's cheating."

"Your praise kink is cute." He kissed my forehead. "You're cute."

"I am?" I settled my shoulders, not doing a good job of hiding my smile. "I am."

He chuckled. "And does the cute woman want to go anywhere else on this beautiful morning?"

"It's...a beautiful morning," I said slowly, trying it out with knitted brows. "Because you're here." I beamed up at him. "With me."

He nudged my chin. "Are you flirting?"

"You couldn't tell?" I stood up taller. "I can try again. How about—"

"I'm teasing you." He leaned down, stealing a kiss and making me preen. "Your flirting skills are impeccable."

"Impeccable," I repeated, proud. "I'll tell Jin that."

"I think you're very cute, Faeryn, but I also think you're very shy."

"I'm not," I insisted. "I can tell him."

"And when he asks you to show him your flirting skills to prove it, what will you do?"

I faltered. "Well, maybe I...maybe I won't tell him. Yet."

"But you will?"

"I will," I confirmed. "When...when I'm..."

"Not shy?"

"Shut up," I whined, clamping my hand over my mouth once the words left me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Mean little thing, aren't you?" He squeezed my nose between his fingers. "You like being mean after I'm nice and make you come?"

"I'm sorry," I stressed. "Really sorry."

"Being mean can be flirtatious, Faeryn, and I'm discovering I like everything new about you that comes to light." He dipped his face to mine, pausing us in our step. Into a long, slow kiss, he said into it, "Be mean to be again. As mean as you want."

I pushed him back, embarrassed, but I missed him quickly and pulled him right back, kissing him hard.

"Mm," he hummed. "That's it. Does anyone else know how mean you are?"

"Jimin," I whined, pushing him away again.

With a laugh, he tugged me to him, tucking me into his side. "Do you want to go anywhere else, my sweet, mean woman?"

"Your—" I paused. "Your...woman?"

"My sweet, mean woman is what I said, yes."

"But...yours?"

He lifted a brow. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, but I—I didn't realize that I was yours, you know, since I like—I mean, since I like the others and kiss a few of them, too, so I just—"

"Would you like me to change the wording to our sweet, mean woman? Because I have to say, I haven't seen you be mean to the others." He pinched my cheek. "Just me."

"I'm not—I wasn't mean," I sputtered, dizzy and content from his touch and words. "Saying shut up isn't too mean."

He raised a brow.

"Okay, I'm sorry," I rushed to say, my lips forming a sad, regretful pout. "I was mean, and I'll never do it again."

"I told you I liked it." He bit my cheek playfully. "Do it as much as you'd like."

With a huff, I hesitated before pushing his bag. Lightly. "There," I declared. "Mean."

He threw his head back as he laughed. "That was not mean, Faeryn."

I deflated. "It wasn't?"

"Oh, Faeryn." He cupped my face, kissing me repeatedly. "I'm so fucked." Caressing my cheek before pulling away, he reclaimed my hand. "You're adorable."

"I thought you said I was mean," I mumbled.

"Your mean behavior is adorable; everything about you is."

"I'll tell Jin on you."

"Namjoon said you tried that."

I looked at him, baffled. "He told you?"

He wiggled his brows. "We like to talk about our sweet, mean woman."

I blushed furiously, hitting his arm a few times. "There. Mean. Again."

"Adorable," he returned, mimicking my pout. "Again."

I hit his bag slightly harder again. "Tell me what's in it."

"If you look in it now, I won't tell you how good you were for me; so patient waiting until we got home to see what's in the bag." He sighed as if he was disappointed, and my heart skipped a beat. "But I can show you if you really can't wait—"

"No!" I blurted, grabbing the bag and running toward the mall's exit. "I'll wait!"

His laughter followed me well before he caught up, and before we reached the doors, he swooped me up and carried me bridal-style the rest of the way to his car.

 

Notes:

those women made me so MAD AHHHHHHHH but at least it got us a nice dinner scene with Namjoon and Faeryn 😤🥰 ALSO the dressing room scene!?!?! GOODBYE THAT WAS SO FUN TO WRITE

Anywayyyy I was wondering!! What is everyone's special interest(s)? I'm curious! Maybe some of us have the same ones🤭

Chapter 11: Rough Sex

Summary:

Jimin keeps Faeryn in his room all morning after their shopping trip for her pretty pink pajamas, and afterward, he reveals what he purchased without her knowledge. Then, when night arrives, Faeryn gathers enough courage to put her new pajamas on and show Namjoon, one-on-one, in his room.

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At home, Jimin took me directly to his room, making me giggle as he dismissed everyone's questions about where we'd been. I tried to tell them, but he silenced me with his lips, and I gave up, choosing to wave as he took me to his room.

He locked his door, set our shopping bags on his armchair, and tossed me onto his bed, on top of me in seconds.

"Much better," he breathed against my lips. "Now you can make as much noise as you want."

"What if—but what if the others hear?" I asked through my giggles as he began lowering my pants.

"Let them hear." He pulled my pants down to my ankles, and I shook them lightly to help him take them off. "Give them something to think about in their own beds."

I gaped at him as thrill met me where I was on his bed, under him. "Jimin."

"Let them hear, Faeryn." He traced the bands of my panties. "I want them to hear how good I make you feel. Remind them that I'm the only one who's brought you to an orgasm."

"Jimin," I sputtered, arching my back when he pulled my panties down.

"It's true." He kissed my clit, lifting my shirt above my chest as he did. "They'll have their chance, but I'll always be the first."

I preened, moaning when he lightly pinched my nipples.

"These are so beautiful," he said with a tight exhale, his eyes on my nipples as he licked a stripe up my slit. "A pretty pink, just like your pajamas. What do you think? Will Namjoon like your pink pajamas or pink nipples more?"

I whined in response, bucking my hips in an attempt to gain more attention from his tongue.

He licked around my fluttering hole before lifting himself and taking my nipple into his mouth, lathering attention to it before doing the same to the other one.

"You taste just as pretty as you look, hm? Did you know that?"

"Jimin," I panted. "I—I want to—I want to come again."

"Right now?"

"Not right now," I said, embarrassed when he chuckled. "But I want to, and I—I want to make you come, too."

"Is that right?"

I whined, lacing my arms around his neck as he lay his tongue flat against my nipple. "I want to suck."

"Use your words and tell me what you want to suck."

"Can't say it," I protested.

"Are you too shy, sweet girl?" he crooned, pressing a kiss to both nipples. "You won't get what you want if you don't tell me."

Not wanting the opportunity to get away from me, I blurted, "Your cock."

He arched a brow, lifting his face until it was level with mine. "Is that what you want? Because honey, I know how much you like to suck."

"Please," I begged.

"How do you want me?" He kissed me, stealing my breath before continuing, "Do you want to lay down or be on your knees?"

"Can...can you sit against the headboard?" I asked hopefully. "And I can suck?"

"Mm, our sweet, mean woman has such good ideas." He arranged us quickly, making me giggle until he patted my throbbing core. "Dripping already. That excited to suck?"

"Yes," I stuttered. "Please let me."

"I am, honey. I am." He positioned himself against the headboard, unbuckling his belt as he looked down at where I was waiting anxiously on my elbows. "Being so patient, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I managed. "Being patient."

"All right, sweet girl. Give me one second." He lowered his jeans and boxers, letting his dick spring free. "You can give me one second, can't you?"

My mouth watered at the sight, and I whined when he wouldn't let me immediately suck.

He stroked himself lazily, already fully hard. "Hm?"

"A second?" I protested. "But why?"

"Because I want to look at you whine for a little while longer."

"Not fair," I stammered. "Jimin, that's not fair, and I'll—"

"You'll what?" He swept his thumb over the head of his cock. "Tell Jin?"

"Jimin," I pleaded, gripping the sheets tightly. "Please, please. I need it."

"You need my cock?"

"Yeah," I panted, unable to tear my eyes from it. "Need it."

"Can you show me how nicely you can ask?"

"Can I please suck your cock?" I asked eagerly. "Please? I'll do a really good job, and I want to make you come, Jimin, please, I—I need to."

"Good job asking so nicely," he praised, only making my need to satisfy him heighten. "Come here; put it in your mouth."

I jumped at the chance, holding it by the base and greedily sucking around the head.

"Mm, there you go." He put a hand on my head, gently keeping my lips wrapped around his cock. "Just like that."

The weight of him on my tongue, his taste and scent, his praise as he curled his fingers through my hair—I relaxed immediately, closing my eyes as I lost myself to the familiar, comforting motions of sucking.

Buzzing with relief, comfort, and pleasure, I took more of him, grounding against the sheets when he released a guttural rumble in response.

It was intoxicating, everything about him was, and I sucked harder, hollowing my cheeks as he hit the back of my throat.

"That's it, that's it," he voiced his approval with a tightened grip on my hair. "Oh, honey, your mouth is perfect. Everything about you is, isn't it?"

I nodded eagerly, bobbing my head up and down as I sucked happily, floating in a dazed, sated bubble.

"There she is," he crooned down at me. "Such a good girl."

I whined, gurgling around him at the praise and continuing to grind.

"Does it feel that good?" he prompted. "Hm? Have to grind your pretty pussy all over my sheets?" I blinked up at him sorrily, and he tutted, following up with, "Make a mess, honey. I want to see how much you enjoy this."

I closed my eyes again, satisfied, and lost myself to comfort and pleasure as I sucked him down.

It wasn't long after when he thrust into my mouth, making the accumulating spit and pre-cum drip onto his sheets.

"You wanted my cum," he told me, breathless as he watched me suck and grind. "Do you want to swallow it? It's okay if you don't," he assured. "You can tell me."

Wanting to try, I nodded my agreement.

"Is that a yes for swallowing?" he asked, and when I nodded again, he exhaled shortly. "Good girl."

He came soon after, and I choked a bit, tearing up, but I was determined to follow through, so I hollowed my cheeks and swallowed it all. It was bitter, but his groans of pleasure as he thrust through it were worth it.

When he was done, I slowly pulled my mouth off, coughing a bit. "Good?" I rasped.

"Good?" He cupped my face, bringing it to his. "You're incredible, and all you have to say for yourself is 'good'?"

I giggled, my brows furrowing as the aftertaste of his cum settled in my mouth.

"What is it?" he asked, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.

"It's..." I smacked my lips together. "It's..."

"You don't like swallowing it?"

I froze. "I—I wanted to try because I've never tried before."

"Shh," he murmured. "It's okay if you don't like it. Trying it out was really good."

"I...I'm still good?"

"Of course you are." He kissed me softly. "So good, and especially good for telling me the truth. Not a lot of people like the taste of cum, so don't feel bad."

"Do...do I taste good?"

He licked his lips in remembrance. "Very good. Why?" His lips began to spread in a slow, sensual smile. "Are you offering?"

I relaxed at his teasing and giggled as I kissed him. "If you want."

"Oh, I want." He flipped us over, trailing kisses down my stomach until he reached my clit and licked around it. "You know what else I want?"

"What?" I managed through a moan.

"For you to come all over my face."

"I'm—I'm already close."

"You liked sucking me off that much?" He squeezed my hip approvingly. "So sweet."

"Make me come?" I pleaded. "Please?"

"Of course." He kissed my clit as he inserted his two index fingers into me. "Whatever you need."

"Thank you," I gasped, tugging him further onto me with a grip on his hair. "Thank you, thank you."

He hummed in response, keeping his pace slow and deep. I ground against them frantically, urging his face back to mine until I was able to kiss him desperately.

I came like that, grinding against his fingers and kissing him like I couldn't get enough of him, and I couldn't. I wanted more and more. Addicted.

We kept kissing amid his praise, and when I slumped against his sheets, exhausted, he pulled us up against the headboard and cradled me in his arms.

"How do you feel?" He kissed the side of my head as he rubbed my arms up and down. "Good?"

"So good," I mumbled contentedly. "That was so nice."

"Good," he chuckled. "It was so nice for me, too."

I beamed proudly. "Thank you."

"And thank you." He angled my face for a kiss. "Wake me up like this every morning, hm?"

I giggled, delving into our languid kissing.

After a while, I mumbled against his lips, "Are you going to tell me what's in your bag?"

"Mhm." He pulled away, patting my ass fondly. "Take a look."

When I pulled out the long pajamas he said he was putting away at the store, I hit his chest repeatedly. "Jimin!"

"What?" He laughed, grabbing my wrists to stop my retribution. "You said you would buy the short pair, not that I couldn't buy the long pair."

"Return it," I demanded.

"I don't think I will, and if you threaten to tell Jin again, I'll go with you to see you not be able to." He pinched my cheek. "You can say thank you and give me a kiss instead."

I mewled when he closed the distance between us to kiss me, using it as an opportunity to pull my wrists away and continue hitting him while we kissed.

"Mean little thing," he mused, gently biting my bottom lip. "Aren't you?"

"I will tell Jin," I retorted huffily.

"Yeah?" He smiled knowingly. "When?"

"...Eventually."

"Mhm. That's Faeryn's way of saying never, I assume."

He laughed when I continued raining hits upon his chest.

When night came and dinner was done, I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror in my short pajamas, playing with the ruffles as I worked up the courage to leave the bathroom.

I wanted their attention earlier, but now that I was faced with the high possibility of receiving it, I wasn't sure if I could handle it. I would stutter over my words and turn too red to talk, and if any of them teased me, I would most likely run back upstairs.

I bought these for Namjoon because Jin told me he liked pink. Maybe I should let Namjoon see it first; gauge my reaction to one person first.

Determined, I slowly opened the bathroom door and braved my way down the hall to Namjoon's room. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I took a deep breath before knocking on his door.

His response came moments later. "Who is it?"

I tried to respond, but nerves got the better of me, keeping me frozen in place and silent.

When I remained silent his voice appeared closer than before. "Bub, you don't have to knock; you know that. You can come in."

I fisted the bottom of my shirt anxiously, wondering if I could make it down the hall before he opened the door, but when I continued my silence, he opened the door.

He lifted a brow when he realized it was me, not Jungkook, but it slowly lowered when he viewed my pajamas.

"Faeryn." He rested his forearm against his open door as he took his time taking me in. "New pajamas."

"Yeah," I said anxiously, struggling to meet his eye. "Jimin took me to get them today."

"Is that where you two were?" His tongue poked the inside of his cheek before running over his bottom lip. "Buying pajamas?"

I nodded, grasping the end of my cami hopefully. "I...I wanted to ask if you liked it."

He cocked his head. "They look nice."

I deflated slightly. "Nice?"

"Do you want me to say they look horrible?"

"No," I sputtered. "I just—I thought you would like them because they're pink, and you like Jungkook's pajamas, and—" I shook my head quickly. "I just thought..."

He chuckled as he resumed his height. "You want me to fawn over you like I did with Jungkook when he wore his pink pajamas, is that it?" He stepped closer, making my breath hitch. "Hm?"

"I just wanted you to like it," I stuttered, my eyes wide as they looked into his.

"I know you like to be praised, Faeryn, but"—he lowered his face to mine—"I didn't realize you needed it."

"I need it," I whispered.

"Is that right?" He took in every shift in my features. "Did you buy these for me?"

I shuffled nervously, nodding ever-so-slowly.

"Why did you buy these for me?" he asked, gazing intently upon me. "What did you want to happen?"

"I wanted you to tell me I was...pretty," I revealed quietly, embarrassed. "Jin said you like the color pink, and so did Jimin, and you liked Jungkook in his pink pajamas—"

"Do you want me to like you or think you're pretty, Faeryn?"

"Both," I whispered, full of desire and want.

"Do friends buy clothes so they can call each other pretty?" His knuckles passed along my cheek. "Do they ask advice from other people they've kissed about how to impress friends?"

"Sometimes," I tried, warbled and buzzing.

"Sometimes?" He chuckled lowly. "I have to say, Faeryn. I'm surprised you garnered enough courage to talk to Jin about this."

"He brought it up," I explained, gasping when he grasped my chin and brought my face to his. "He said to let you see how pretty I look in pink."

"Did he?" He pressed my cheeks together, causing my lips to form a natural pout. "Who else has seen you like this?"

"Jimin," I managed to say. "In the dressing room and...his room."

"The dressing room?" His brows flew up as he let out a low whistle. "Faeryn. Where did your shyness go?"

"I told you I'm not shy," I persisted, determined, although my words were warbled from the pouting position he pushed my lips into.

"I think you are," he mused. "You've just gotten better at asking for what you want. And what, Faeryn, do you want from me? Is it friendship? Praise?" He applied pressure to his hold on my face. "Something more?"

"More," I gasped out, faltering when he released me. "Please."

"Do you know what I think?" He took hold of the bottom of my cami, using it to guide me to him, and I went easily, right into his chest. "I like your pajamas, I do, but do you know what I'd like more?"

"What?" I asked breathlessly.

He lifted the cami slightly. "What's beneath them."

I whimpered, trying to catch my breath with our proximity.

"We're friends, aren't we?" he prompted, and when I nodded, he tugged my body flush against his. "What do you think about friends seeing each other naked?"

"It's fine," I said headily, dazed and dizzy. "I want them to. You're so so strong, and you have muscles, and I—I want to see."

"Is that right?" His mouth was inches from mine. "What else do you want to see?"

"Everything," I pleaded quietly. "And it's okay—because we're friends."

"That's right." He stepped back, taking me with him. "Do friends ask permission, or do friends do what they want?"

I shivered, clutching him tightly as he closed and locked the door behind us. "Can friends say stop if they want?"

"Friends can always say stop if they need to stop." His mouth brushed my chin. "Do you know the traffic light system?"

"No," I whispered.

"Green for okay," he explained lowly, his mouth moving against my chin with every word he spoke. "Yellow for pause, and red for stop."

"What...what happens if I say red?"

"I stop, no questions asked, and I take care of you. Make sure you're okay. Because"—he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek, barely a peck—"that's what friends do."

"Okay." I shivered. "I know the traffic light system now."

"You do." He put his hands on my waist, both of them warm and big and almost covering my stomach. "Do you think you can be such a good friend and tell me what color you are?"

"Green," I breathed out. 

"Then you wouldn't mind if I took these off of you, would you?" He slowly began to lift my shirt, and I complied quickly, lifting my arms to make it easier. "Look at that." He traced the lines of my bralette. "They match your pajamas." He lowered them slightly, his eyes darkening at the sight of my nipples. "How cute." His eyes lifted to mine, dark and wanting. "Everything's matching."

I whimpered as he lowered my shorts and panties in one swipe, and when I was bare before him, he hadn't taken a single item of clothing off himself, instead looming over me as he took me in.

"Look at you," he said with a rigid exhale. "Standing nice and pretty, letting me see you." He took a step closer, curling his fingers in my hair as he found a good grip and tugged me to him. It didn't hurt—it felt grounding and dominant, and the pressure felt good on my head, earning a pleased sigh from me. "You bought pajamas for me, but they're forgotten on the floor. Is that what you wanted to happen?"

"Yes, I—" My eyes fluttered as he used my hair to tug my chin up to make eye contact. "I wanted—yeah, I...yeah, just wanted it."

He chuckled deeply, bringing his face level with mine. "You like a little pain, Faeryn. You're fading."

"Fading?" I tried, but even I could hear how far away my voice sounded; how sated and content.

"You are." He moved back, and when I tried to move with him, he clicked his tongue, causing me to still immediately. "And so well behaved."

I blushed, waiting anxiously for him to touch me but staying as still as possible to receive more praise.

"I've been wanting to test your limits," he told me. "See how you react; how your body reacts."

He motioned me forward, and I hurried to him, blinking up at him hopefully. He grabbed my hair again, this time using it to tilt my head back, and a pain moaned left me.

"Do you have anything you don't want me to do?" he asked, the rasp in his voice making my thoughts spin. "Any limits I should know about?"

I struggled to think, let alone speak, but I made my tongue work with my mouth as I told him "I don't know. I've...I mean, I've never done this before."

"That's a shame, seeing how much you like it already." He cocked his head toward the bed. "If you think of anything, use the traffic light system. Otherwise, I want you on your stomach on the bed."

I listened quickly, nearly tripping over my feet in my hurry.

He chuckled as he approached, his tall frame intimidating and even more so from my spot on his bed. When he slowly played with his belt as if he was contemplating removing it, a pitiful whine left my throat as I imagined him fucking it.

"What are you whining about, Faeryn?" He tugged the belt loose one loop. "You can't be patient?"

I opened my mouth, letting my tongue show.

His features tightened just as his hold on his belt did. "Look at that." He continued to remove his belt. "I didn't have to say a word."

My brows furrowed as I waited expectantly, causing a pool of spit to form on my tongue.

He leaned down, pushing my jaw to close. "Swallow."

I listened, immediately opening my mouth once I had.

"That's it." His pants fell around his ankles along with his briefs, and I whined at the sight of his sheer girth and length. "Do you think you can fit it in your mouth? Hm? Let me stretch it nice and wide?"

I whined as I nodded eagerly, keeping my tongue out to prove it.

"Be patient." He leaned down, tapping his cock against my tongue, warm, throbbing, and heavy. "Mm. How's that feel?"

"Good," I lisped. "Like I have to suck."

"You have to?"

"I have to, yes, please."

When he kept his dick on my tongue, my lips instinctively tried to close around it, but he grabbed my hair and yanked back to keep me from doing so.

He clicked his tongue again, shaking his head as he looked down at me. "Did I give you permission?"

"I didn't mean to," I defended, my eyes fluttering at the pressure his hold on my hair was causing.

"And what do you say when you do something without permission?"

"I'm sorry," I managed.

"That's right." With his hold on my hair, he used it to shake my head, watching my lips part in a silent moan. "Do you think you can try again?"

"Yes, please, I can."

Setting himself back on my tongue, he surprised me when he pushed deep into my mouth to hit the back of my throat. I gagged reflexively, grasping the sheets for support from my position propped on my elbows.

Easing out after a few, harsh thrusts, he let me catch my breath. Swiping his thumb against my cheek, a soft contrast to his hold on my hair, I panted as he spoke. "You need to listen when I tell you something the first time. Am I understood?"

"Yes," I whimpered. "Sorry."

"Mm." He tipped my chin. "What color?"

"Green," I rasped. "More, please."

"Tap my thigh or anything you can reach if you need to stop."

Once I confirmed, he thrust back into my mouth, holding both sides of my head as he did. It was a large intrusion, but it was hot and throbbing, and I couldn't get enough. Barely able to keep my eyes open, I tried to see him—tried to view his features scrunched with concentration and pleasure as he used my mouth.

Rough and intense, he fucked my mouth, causing pre-cum and spit to dribble out of my mouth and onto his sheets. Messy and caught in a haze, I let my eyes close as he took what he needed.

Minutes of pure bliss passed, and I was floating until he brought me back down as he pulled out of my mouth.

My eyes flew open with protest, but I didn't whine in hopes he would return to me quickly.

"You're a faster learner." He returned to me before I could float away again at the slight praise, resting his cock on my tongue as he commanded, "Suck the head."

Moaning with relief, I latched on immediately, not even caring about the pre-cum I took with me.

"Take some more in your mouth," he instructed, pushing my head further onto him. "Open."

I sucked him down greedily, keeping still to keep his praise, and when he told me to take him deeper I took him deeper. When he told me to return to the head, I returned to the head. And when he told me to stick my tongue out and let him rub his dick against it, I stuck my tongue out and let him rub his dick against it.

Before I could process anything else, he flipped me onto my back, tugging me forward by my ankles and hovering his body over mine.

Dizzy, I stammered and sputtered incoherently as I tried to ask him for what I wanted, and he seemed to understand my babbling as he wiped the spit from my mouth and pushed it around my face, telling me, "We're not having sex." He ground his dick against my folds, earning a moan from me. "You're not ready for that."

"Please," I panted.

"You can say please," he returned, cupping my breasts firmly and kneading them in his hands. "But the answer will be no each time."

"Why?" I stammered. "I was good."

"This has nothing to do with how good you are." He pushed his hand around my throat, making me gurgle with appreciation. "This is rough, Faeryn, but it's not as rough as I can be. I'll have to get you ready for it; take my time getting you ready for me."

I nodded my eager agreement, finding it difficult with his pressure against my throat.

"Good." He kissed me, making me ignite and relax all at once. Against my lips, he mouthed, "I'm glad we're on the same page."

He continued to grind against me before flipping us both around until he was on his back and I was on top of him. Even in this position, he guided it, pushing me to grind against him. It was intense and intimate, and I wanted him to push his dick into me and take me as roughly as he wanted to, but the logical part of me knew he was right; that I wasn't ready just yet, but I would be because he would get me ready for him.

Thrilled, I tried to speed up my movements, but he wouldn't let me, administering a stern look and a tongue-click when I tried.

"Sorry," I stammered, blushing hotly.

"One more time," he warned, "and I stop."

"No more times," I said quickly. "I promise."

He squeezed my ass, bringing his hand down on it harshly. "You wouldn't have to promise if you listened the first time."

"Sorry," I whimpered, withering at his tone while I preened from the pleasure he was providing me. It was a combination I never thought would work, but it was working and I wanted it all of the time.

"Do better, and you won't have to be sorry."

"I will," I insisted breathily.

"We'll see, won't we, Faeryn? Hm?" He slapped my ass again, harder than before, and I whined, my lips turning downward as my breaths became shorter—as my orgasm rapidly approached. "Oh, does that hurt?" He slapped it again. "Hm?"

I cried out, my hips stammering as I struggled not to pick up my pace of grinding.

"When I ask questions"—he slapped the same spot as before, red and stinging—"I expect an answer."

"It hurts," I cried. 

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I protested, afraid he would. "Please."

He issued another slap, and tears filled my eyes, but I tried to be good—I tried not to ask to come without earning permission to do first—but my lips wobbled along with my chin, and I couldn't help asking, "Please, can I come? Please, please, I need it, I—I need it."

"You can come when I allow it."

I squirmed desperately, begging, "Can you allow it now?"

He chuckled, raining a few slaps more slaps down on my ass. "No."

I tried to hold onto his shoulders, tried to grip his shirt for comfort and stability, but with one hand, he gripped both my wrists to keep me from doing so, and then I pleaded in earnest.

"Namjoon, please," I begged. "I—I have to touch you. Have to feel you and hold on, and I have to hold on, have to, I really have to, and—"

He brought my hands down to his shirt, and I grasped it with a deathly grip, whining and blabbering and begging for him.

"Make yourself come," he instructed, soothing his hands up and down my waist as he kept me stabilized. "Go ahead."

"Thank you, thank you," I sputtered, coming immediately. "Thank you, Namjoon, thank you—"

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I ground through it, and I whimpered when I felt his cum, sticky and warm.

"It's good, it's so good—" I tried to get to the crook of his neck, desperate for comfort, but he kept me still as he came. "Namjoon, please—" I reached for him, grasping his shoulders. "I need you."

He conceded then, cupping my ass and scooting me up to his stomach until I could rest my face in his neck, and with a shudder of relief and pleasure, I slumped against him and kissed his neck sloppily.

"There you are." He soothed his hand over my stinging ass, patting it lightly. "Take deep breaths, calm it down. You're okay." He kissed the top of my head as he kneaded my ass, firm and much softer than before. "You did such a good job."

I couldn't find any words, and I was still floating, humming as my body buzzed against his.

"You're feeling nice, aren't you?" He continued pressing kisses to my head, exhaling deeply. "Nice and safe, hm?"

I managed a nod, arching my back to give him better access to my ass.

He chuckled, lifting one hand to clasp the back of my neck. "Greedy."

I nuzzled against him, but it wasn't enough. Whining consistently, I struggled to get closer to him, curling up until I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and my face right in the crevice.

When he began lifting me away, I clung to him indignantly, wordlessly pleading for him to stay.

"Faeryn." He squeezed my ass admonishingly. "Listen."

Grudgingly doing as I was told, I let him lift me until I sat, straddling his waist. My eyes widened with hope when he removed his shirt, and I preened when he brought our chests flush to each other and let me resume my position.

"There." He rubbed my back. "You need to listen."

I nodded, kissing his neck in apology.

"Good job listening." He squeezed his arms around me, making me mewl with appreciation. "Very good job." Caressing my hair, he dipped his mouth to my ear. "So pretty for me, with your pajamas"—he kissed the skin beneath my ear—"and without."

I clung to him, rubbing my nose around as I greedily inhaled his comforting smell.

"You didn't use any colors," he noted, chuckling softly when I only shrugged in response. "We'll talk more when you can talk again, hm?"

I nodded, falling into an easy rhythm of kissing around his throat and neck.

꧁꧂

"There she is." He wiped around my face with a washcloth, and I swung my legs from where he seated me on his sink's counter, each swing making my knees hit the front of his thighs. "Getting all cleaned up after being so good for me."

I preened, leaning into his touch as he cleaned me.

"Do you usually cry during anything sexual?" he asked as he gently wiped around my lips. "Or was it because of what we did?"

I blushed with a shrug. "Sometimes."

"Communication is important, Faeryn." He patted my thighs, and I spread them instinctively, earning low praise from him. "Talk to me."

"I cry when it feels good," I revealed as he cleaned between my thighs. My voice dipped into an embarrassed murmur. "I...I cried with Jimin on the couch."

"And what did you both do?"

"He just—he let me grind until I came."

"Hm." He kissed my forehead as my blush spread to it. "A little grinding makes you cry."

"It feels good," I defended.

"Good enough to cry," he returned, kissing me to silence my protests. It contained a hint of roughness, but not as much as before, and I sunk into it, grieving his lips as soon as they left mine. "You can cry, Faeryn. I can take it."

I shivered, holding onto his shoulders as he continued wiping me down. "Do...Namjoon?"

"Yes, Faeryn."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you..." Hesitating, I forced myself to ask, "I mean, do you do this with anyone else?"

He lifted a brow as he ran the cloth under the water. "Are you asking if I have any other friends?"

I blushed furiously. "Maybe."

"Not at the moment, no." He returned the cloth to my stomach, wiping around it gently. "Why? Are you asking me not to?"

"No," I stammered. "I couldn't ask you that."

"But you'd like to."

"No," I lied, hanging my head when he saw right through me. "I'm...I'm sorry." Quieter, I added, "Jimin says I'm greedy like him."

He exhaled shortly; a quiet laugh. "I can see that." Finishing up on my back, he wrung the cloth out and placed it over the sink's faucet. Amusement flickering across his features at my downcast ones, he lifted my chin. "I'm not seeing anyone else, Faeryn. I'm not doing this with anyone else."

I blinked rapidly. "You're not?" I paused. "Not even...Jungkook?"

He laughed then.

"What?" I insisted. "You call him pretty and touch his face a lot and say a lot of nice stuff to him."

"I do." He pinched my cheek. "But that doesn't mean I'm doing what we did with him."

"Oh." I faltered. "Really?"

"Why?" He lifted me, setting me on the floor. "Do you want me to?"

"I don't know," I responded, flustered. "I just thought that you were."

"Well," he mused. "He is very pretty in his pink pajamas, so sweet and cute, and I'm sure he was cuter with his little whimpers while he kissed you."

I hid my face in his arms as he led me back into his room from his adjoining bathroom. "You talk like you like him."

"I do like him." He squeezed the back of my neck. "But it's different."

"How?"

"You're full of questions." Lifting me, he placed me on his bed after retrieving my pajamas. "Lift your legs for me."

Giddy while he dressed me, I shrugged. "Yeah. Full of them."

"I want to ask you a few questions." He tugged my shorts up and above my hips, pulling on my shirt next. "About what we did."

"I liked it," I made sure he knew with wide eyes. "Even if I cried."

"All of it?" He crouched down, taking my face in his hands. "Hm? It's okay if you didn't; I won't be mad."

I melted, rubbing my face against his hand. "I liked all of it. The pressure felt really nice, and...and the pain made the pleasure feel..." I tilted my head. "Better. A lot better."

He smiled his handsome smile. "It seemed like it did, but I wanted to check with you."

"Okay," I said giddily. "Thanks."

He kissed my forehead. "Whatever we do, I'll check in with you. I want to make sure we're always on the same page; that you're okay with what we do."

"That's so—thank you." I offered my lips, relaxing when he kissed me. "I like that."

"Good." He tugged my lower lip between his teeth, causing pain and pleasure to bloom. "It's what you need to get used to; there will be no other option."

I giggled, squealing when he pulled me up against the headboard with him and turned on the TV.

"Back to your routine," he told my questioning look. "Keep you on track."

I curled into his side, kissing his chest appreciatively. "Thank you for liking my pajamas." I peeked up at him. "And for making me come."

"Mm." He kept his arm wrapped around me as he fitted the blankets up to my chin. "Thank you for buying the pajamas for me." Murmuring into my hair, he added, "And for being so good for me."

I shivered, mewling when he caught my lips in his for a deep kiss. "Can I sleep in your bed with you?"

He stole another kiss. "Will you sleep on time?"

"I will," I promised eagerly.

"Mhm." He passed his hand through my hair. "Then you can."

Notes:

I know we're curious about Yoongi!! The next chapter revolves mostly around him so buckle up😋 And after THAT chapter, we get insight into Namjoon and Jungkook's dynamic (I'M SO EXCITED)

ALSO! Thank you for all the nice comments!!! I love talking to you guys; it means so much to me and makes me even more motivated to write this book🥹🩷 Did everyone have a nice week? I'd love to hear about it! <33

Chapter 12: Your Eyes Betray You

Summary:

After Faeryn shows everyone her pretty pink pajamas, she hears music coming from Yoongi's room and tries to find an excuse to talk to him, desperate to finally get to know him.

Later, she spends time with Lyric and comes back home to the others with a surprise for everyone—even Yoongi.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I was fawned over Sunday breakfast for my new pajamas, and I could barely eat with the compliments and touches I received.

A few pats on my thigh, then my ass—mainly from Jimin and Namjoon—requests to touch the fabric—mainly from Taehyung and Jungkook—silent approval from Yoongi, Jin's ever-present gaze as he watched the others interact with me and my reaction to them, and Hoseok's kisses to my forehead, calling me his sweetheart as he made sure I ate.

When breakfast ended, I was smiling non-stop and preening under the attention.

"Do you want to crochet?" Taehyung asked just as Jungkook asked, "Do you want to watch TMNT?"

"We can do both," I told them cheerfully. "I can get dressed, and—"

"No," they said immediately, and Taehyung was quick to add, "You can if you want to. It's just that you...you look very pretty."

I didn't do a good job of hiding my smile. "Okay, I won't change." Grabbing their hands, I tugged them into the living room. "Let's watch TMNT and crochet."

Once we were set up with Jungkook on the floor in a crisscross position between Taehyung and my legs, Taehyung began his first attempt at a Pokémon, exhaling soon after, "This is really hard." 

"It's okay," I assured. "The decrease stitch is the hardest part, but you get used to it. You can even use a smaller hook for those stitches if you want; just make sure you don't make them too tight when you go back to using your regular hook."

"It sounds like you're talking about fishing," Jungkook noted. Turning to us, he scrunched his nose as he took in Taehyung's beginnings of Pikachu. "Hyung, that looks..."

I sent him a warning look, and he chewed his lip, nodding slightly before he continued, "It looks like it'll be great if you keep working on it."

Taehyung lit up slightly. "Really?" He nodded determinedly. "You're right. If I keep working on it, it'll be great."

I squeezed his shoulder. "Exactly." I gave Jungkook a hidden thumbs-up, and he smiled shyly as he returned his attention to the TV, but not before nudging his head against my knee and settling closer to it.

A few of the others trickled in, and an hour or so later, I hurried to use the bathroom. Once I exited it, I thought I heard something nearby. Hesitating, I inched toward the sound until I arrived at a door. Faint music was coming from behind it, and intrigued, I placed my ear against it.

Low murmurs were coming from behind in; a light mumbled song with hints of slow, easy rap.

Yoongi.

While everyone else was in the living room or the kitchen, together, he was alone.

I knocked quietly.

The quiet mumbling stopped immediately, but it was followed by the scrape of a chair. Moments later, his voice, deep and quiet, appeared. "I'm busy."

I took a step back. "Sorry, I—sorry." I winced at the following silence and blurted, "I thought this was the bathroom." I shook my head, inwardly berating myself for lying. "Sorry, that's actually—that's not true. I heard the music and it sounded nice, so I just—I wanted to say hi."

He remained quiet for five more seconds. "Hello."

Slightly encouraged—although I took another step back—I added, "Your music sounds nice."

Three seconds for him to respond, "Thank you."

"Of course!" Another step back. "I'm going now."

Four seconds. "All right."

I was already halfway back to the living room. And then I was coming right back to knock again.

"Yoongi?"

One second. "Yes?"

"I like your music."

"Thank you."

"Can I come in?"

His door opened, and—there he was. Messy hair, rumpled, comfy clothes, and drowsy black eyes. He held more weight in his left leg, one hand on the doorknob and the other in his pocket, and he looked at my forehead instead of my eyes, just like I did to everyone. It calmed me, and I worked myself up to step forward.

He blocked the doorway, and I took two steps back.

His brows wavered, tugged, and leveled out. "My room isn't in any state for visitors."

I took in his way of speech, formal and rigid, and nodded as I assessed. "That's okay."

He assessed me, slowly dipping his eyes to mine as I shifted mine to his forehead. We switched every so often.

"It's not suitable," he repeated.

"I don't mind," I reiterated.

His right eyelid twitched. "All right."

He moved back, I moved forward, and he left the door open an inch as he watched me step inside his room.

His room was in disarray, his blankets pulled back and nearly falling from his bed, piles of clothes on every side of his room, books and headphones strewn about—and a couple of pillows. It smelled musty, and the lighting was dim, but he let me in, and I was excited.

I gestured to his music set-up where a black iced coffee was perched nearby. "Can I hear something?"

His throat bobbed, and he took a moment to respond. "It's not completed."

"I like non-completed things." I pushed onto my tip-toes. "It's exciting."

"Exciting," he repeated slowly.

"You get to see it grow and change, and it will—so much until it's done."

"Yes." He shifted slightly toward his desk. "That is true."

I twined my hands together. "Can I hear?"

"All right." He navigated his way over the clutter easily, and I mimicked his steps on my tip-toes.

He pulled up a chair for me, averting eye contact as he removed the sweatpants and a few shirts from it.

"I like your chair," I told him with a genuine smile. "It's a nice color."

"It's...brown."

"I like that color for chairs."

He looked at me for a second before turning to his monitor. "I see."

I sat down, and he did the same a few moments after me.

He cleared his throat, thumbing his headphones. "Are you comfortable wearing my headphones?"

I nodded and held my hands out to prove it. He released them to me, and I fitted them around my head, humming contentedly at the cushioned padding.

He looked at me.

He continued looking at me.

My humming stopped. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." He continued looking.

"Okay," I said uncertainly. "Because you're just—it seems like something is—"

He leaned forward and placed both hands on the headphones, refitting and tightening them around me.

I buzzed in my seat at the comfort and showed him a big smile. "That's better."

"Yes." He lowered his hands. "Better."

He pressed play, and the music I heard earlier filled my ears. It was peaceful, and although my smile relaxed into a smaller one, it remained. I swung my legs as I listened, taking in the subtle harmonies and his raspy tone. Whenever it dipped, my stomach did with it, and it felt nice for me and his music to be in sync, causing my smile to grow.

Only a minute long, I was left with a need for more, and I told him so.

He accepted the headphones back, but instead of setting them down, he digested my words and smile before fitting them back around my head.

"There is...one more sample I'm working on," he said.

I perked up. "Okay."

It was a different sound, less light singing with more rap, and it was longer at nearly three minutes. I clutched the top of my pants as I hummed along quietly, studying the music waves on the monitor as I did.

"I like that one," I told him brightly once it finished. "Can you play the other one again?"

His fingers hovered over his keyboard. "You prefer the first one?"

"I like both," I explained. "But the first one's melody is smooth, and the singing is really nice."

"You prefer the singing?" His brows pulled together slightly, causing a slight crease between them. "I see."

"Do you...not prefer the singing? I mean, I like the rapping too, but I like that you did both on the first one."

"I do prefer it." He navigated to the first song. "These songs don't usually chart."

"Oh." I nodded. "You want to make a song that charts."

"Not currently."

"Then the first one can be your favorite, right? All albums or EPs have a nice, slow song." I shifted in my seat to get more comfortable. "They're my favorites."

"They are."

"Yeah," I chirped. "Favorite." I watched him expectantly. He blinked. "So...can I listen to it again?"

"Right. Yes." He pressed play, running his hand through his ruffled hair. "Yes, you can."

I settled as he played it again, and once it was finished, I released a sated sigh. "Again?"

"Again?" He tilted his head. "You just listened to it."

"Oh. Well, yeah, but I like listening to songs I like on repeat."

"I see." He navigated through his system, and a moment later, my phone dinged.

I didn't mind it, instead swinging my legs lightly as I waited for him to start the song again, but he looked to my pocket where it was.

"You can check it." He turned back to his monitor, but he looked at me from his peripheral vision.

Confused, I retrieved it from my pocket, surprised when I saw he had texted me. A file was attached, and I looked at him, but he was still adamantly staring at his monitor, so I clicked on it. The song entered the air, and a giddy smile filled my features.

"Thank you," I said.

He dipped his chin, and both of us turned toward the door when a knock sounded. With the door already opened an inch, it caused it to open further, and soon, it was fully opened to allow Jin to enter.

He took note of Yoongi and me, every part of us it seemed, before he walked to us. With his hand on the back of my chair, he prompted us, "Listening to music?"

"Yes," I stammered as his cologne filled my senses.

Jin squeezed my shoulder. "Give us a second."

"Okay," I squeaked, standing quickly. I managed another thanks to Yoongi, but before I could leave, Jin took hold of my arm.

Leaning down, his lips brushed my cheek. "Wait outside for me."

I managed an agreement before speeding out of the room. At the door, I questioned, "Should I close it?"

Jin motioned for me to do so, and once I had, I pushed up against the wall opposite it. Their voices were muffled, and I couldn't hear much. From what I could pick up, it sounded like Jin was checking in with him—just like Taehyung and Jimin told me he would do.

I wondered if Jin realized Yoongi wasn't present just like I had; if everyone felt his absence as strongly—and more since they knew him so much more than I did. We were still strangers, he and I. I didn't know the others much more, but we talked every day for the past month and a half. The only conversation I had with Yoongi was about my dinosaurs, and I lied and said they were paper holders.

I hung my head and stared resolutely at the floor. The two times I'd spoken to him, I lied to him.

Deflated, I clasped my hands together as I anxiously waited for Jin, and when he left Yoongi's room, I went up to him quickly and clutched the bottom of his shirt.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

He looked down at me. "He's fine."

"Okay," I breathed out, quiet for two seconds before blurting in a hushed whisper, "The two times I've talked to him, ever, I've lied to him."

"Lied about what?"

"I said my dinosaur figures were paperweights, but they weren't," I stressed. "And I said I thought his room was the bathroom when I knocked because I wanted an excuse to talk to him."

"Dinosaur figures."

"Yes," I confirmed nervously, tugging at his shirt. "I dropped them at work, and I even lied to Namjoon about them before he took me to dinner—but I told him the truth." I gnawed relentlessly on my bottom lip before hurriedly wondering, "Should I tell Yoongi the truth about the dinosaur figures? That they're not paperweights?"

"Faeryn."

"Yes?" I breathed out.

"Relax."

"I'm—but I'm anxious," I persisted. "You can't be friends with people if you lie to them."

He removed my hand from his shirt, instead arranging it in his. "Explain why you lied."

Even quieter, I told him, "I was embarrassed Yoongi would laugh, and those ladies made fun of me for them, so I lied to Namjoon so he wouldn't make fun of me—"

"Who made fun of you?" His voice had changed. Low and gravelly and laced with heat. "When did this happen and why wasn't I informed?"

"In...informed? I—I didn't know I had to tell you." My heart raced. "Am I in trouble?"

"I won't repeat myself, Faeryn."

"Ladies," I blurted with wide eyes. "At work the day Namjoon took me to dinner."

"Regarding your dinosaur figures?"

"That was...part of it," I agreed. "But..." I shuffled awkwardly. "Namjoon said most of what they said was sexual innuendos, but I didn't understand until I told him what they said, which is why I didn't tell Namjoon at first I had Autism because I was scared he would make fun of me, but we did a test, and he—"

"Autism?" He dipped his face, grasping my jaw and pulling me to him. "Faeryn, in this household, we communicate. Why wasn't any of this communicated with me?"

"I—I was supposed to tell you?" I asked in a hushed tone. "I didn't know."

He loosened his hold on me slightly, but not much. "Yes, but it's my fault for not making that clear." His eyes flitted between mine. "Did Namjoon talk this out with you already? Is this why he took you to dinner?"

"Yes," I confirmed quickly, hoping the reveal would put him at ease. "He said I'm not someone you're all taking turns with and—"

"Taking turns?" His features darkened, and lifting himself, he opened Yoongi's door and said in a firm tone, "Faeryn will be back."

He turned back to me, gripped my hand, and took me to another room down the hall. It seemed to be a lounge/game room with a pool table in the middle, and he took me to a couch and sat me down. Crouching in front of me with his elbows on his knees, he instructed gravelly, "Tell me what happened."

I did; I told him everything, including why Autism made it difficult to understand and differentiate their tones and intent, and how Namjoon explained and reassured me.

"Are you upset?" I asked nervously after I explained. "That I didn't tell you I had Autism and about the ladies?"

"Firstly, Faeryn, they're women, not ladies." His tone was curt and final. "Ladies are kind and treat others right." He cupped my cheek briefly before releasing it. "Secondly, I'm not entitled to your diagnosis. That's something you reveal to someone when you feel ready, and earlier, I'm sorry if I made it seem like you were in trouble for not telling me."

He exhaled rigidly. "My initial reaction was clouded with your reveal of those women at HYBE bullying you, and I apologize."

"You...you're apologizing to me?" My mind whirred. "But why? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm apologizing for coming off the wrong way."

I stared at him. Tried to say something. And failed.

He squeezed the top of my knee. "Breathe."

I released the breath I was holding in. "I'm sorry, too."

"What do you have to apologize for?"

I whispered, "I don't know how to react when someone's apologizing."

"That's up to you, Faeryn, whether you accept the apology or not."

I gaped at him. "I don't have to accept it?"

"You don't have to accept anything you don't want to accept."

"But Ryker said that I had to—at the beginning when I didn't live with him yet." I blinked rapidly as I struggled to assess this new information. "He said that's what everyone in relationships do."

He applied an increasing amount of pressure to my knee. "He was manipulating you, Faeryn. You always have a choice."

"Why...why would he lie?"

"If you forgave him, he could continue to hurt you."

"Oh." I looked down at where his hand rested on my knee. "Well, I...okay."

"Keep communicating. It's all right."

"I don't know," I said quietly. "I don't like talking about Ryker, and I...I was having a nice time with Yoongi, and I never get to have a nice time with Yoongi. He's always alone and sad, and I made him smile a little." I looked at him, then. "I want him to smile; I know what it's like to be alone and sad, but he doesn't have to be." I nodded eagerly. "He has all of you, right?"

His voice softened slightly. "Yes."

"Then why is he sad?"

"Sometimes," he spoke slowly. "People can feel alone even when they're not, and that only makes the sadness worse."

"Oh." I mulled this over. "That's horrible."

"Yes," he confirmed, his lips set in a straight line. "It is."

"But...Yoongi will be okay, right? Maybe if he comes out of his room more and stays around everyone else."

"When he feels up to it, he can."

"But maybe if he just tries, even when he doesn't feel like it, he'll feel better."

"Not everyone is the same," he told me. "The very thing that makes someone better could make someone else feel worse."

"Then how will he feel better?" I pressed, confused. "If he doesn't come out of his room?"

"He does, Faeryn. Not often, but he does."

"Well...maybe his room is his safe place, and when he's sad, it feels like a warm hug, and...all of his clothes and pillows and books on the floor are there—maybe like friends, and that's why he doesn't pick them up. So he doesn't feel alone, right?"

He looked at me for a moment, and I looked back, awaiting confirmation but receiving a surprise instead. Standing, he lowered himself down to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me until my cheek rested against his shoulder. Although startled at the sudden movement, I quickly returned the hug and settled into the warmth that followed.

When he released me, he returned to his crouching position before me, taking a deep breath as he took me in. "Tell me more about your Autism, if you're comfortable enough to."

"Wait," I said hurriedly. "Not yet."

"Not yet?"

"I have to tell you that I accept your apology," I told him earnestly. "Because I didn't realize you had to apologize, but anyway, I accept it." I inhaled sharply, whispering, "Was that okay? Is that how I'm supposed to do it?"

He smiled softer than I'd ever seen him smile. "Very good, Faeryn. Thank you."

I smiled, relieved. "Okay. Thank you, too." I sat up taller. "I can talk about my Autism now if you still want me to."

"I do."

I tentatively patted the seat beside me. "Do you want to sit with me?"

He availed himself the seat on the couch I'd patted, and once he had, I rambled about how Autism impacted my daily life and relationships, and when I landed at my special interests after speeding through the hard topics, my eyes lit up, and I couldn't stop. He didn't tell me to stop, and he didn't laugh when I gingerly treaded the topic of dinosaurs. In fact, he asked me questions about them, and I told him everything he wanted to know.

Thirty minutes must have passed, but my cheeks were flushed, and I was continually smiling.

"Thank you for letting me talk so much," I said bashfully. "I know I can be a lot."

"You aren't a lot," he returned firmly. "You're just enough."

"Just enough," I repeated, my words catching in my throat from the way he looked at me. "Thank you."

He didn't respond. Simply sat beside me and looked at me like he wasn't disgusted by my diagnosis, what had been done to me, or everything I thought was wrong with me. He looked at me like I could be someone he cared about.

I choked up and turned my head to the side of him.

"Faeryn," he said quieter.

"I'm fine," I managed.

"I know you are."

"Yeah, I just—" I wiped my nose. "I just need a second."

"That's all right."

I stared at the door for twenty seconds, counting each one until I reigned the tears back in and turned to face him. Pushing out a wobbly smile, I shrugged apologetically, but he shook his head.

"It's all right," he reiterated.

"I am," I repeated. "I'm all right. Now," I whispered. "I'm all right now." Tentatively, I tried, "Safe now, too. Namjoon said. Taehyung and Jimin and Hoseok said so too, so if so many people say I'm safe, I'm...I'm really safe now, Jin, aren't I?"

"You're safe." He shifted until the sides of our thighs brushed, and I couldn't believe how warm he was. How he made my pulse race with nerves, excitement, and the possibility of safety. "You're safe at work from Ryker, and you're safe from him here."

My throat worked with emotion. "My...my parents."

His forehead pinched. "Your parents?"

"Yes." I sniffled. "They would've liked you, and...they would've been happy I made friends. My grandparents, too. And I think they would all not like Ryker very much."

His features fell. "Your family."

"It happened a long time ago," I said, trying to brush it off but unsure I was doing a proper job of it. "A car crash. So I came here to live with my grandparents, but they died a few years later, and then I met Ryker, and..." I shook my head, pained. "They would've liked you. All of you."

He cupped the back of my head and brought my forehead to my chest, using his other hand to rub my back. Quietly but firmly, he told me, "We would've liked them, too."

"Yeah," I said shakily. "We liked having tea parties together." Sniffling against his shirt, I wondered, "Do you like tea parties?"

"I've never been to a tea party."

"They're fun."

"We should have one."

Surprised, I lifted my face to his. "Really?"

His thumb gently swiped underneath my eye where a lone tear had escaped. "Really."

"Oh! Okay." I stared at him. "That's really great."

"Really great," he repeated with a small smile.

"Yeah." I kept staring at him. "I really like you, Jin. You're...you're a little intimidating, but I...I think you're really nice to me and your friends. They all like you, too." I wiped my nose with the front of my sleeve. "I can tell, even if Jungkook acts mad when you remind him not to have his phone at the table because he looks at you with a smile a few minutes later when you're talking. You just don't see it."

He released a short breath before inhaling to compensate. "You take notice."

"I watch a lot more than I talk," I confirmed, a little embarrassed. "But I'm trying to talk more. It's just hard sometimes; I've never really understood how conversations with groups work."

"You can enter our group conversations at any point."

"But what if it's at the wrong time?"

He traced the outline of the right side of my face with his thumb. "It won't be."

Admiration filled me, and I leaned into his touch. "I like you."

He kissed my forehead softly. "I like you, too, Faeryn." He bunched my hair at the sides of my head before lowering his hands to hold my face. "Thank you for talking to me."

I swallowed at our proximity. "Thank you for listening." I swallowed again and watched as he tracked the movement. "Can I have another hug?"

He held me to him again, his firm hold and chest making me feel as if I was wrapped in a warm blanket.

"Yoongi sent me a song he was working on." My words were muffled by his shirt. "Should I tell him I lied about the dinosaurs?"

"I'm sure he already knows."

"What?" I squeaked. "How?"

"You're not as good of a liar as you think, Faeryn."

I blushed. "My mom used to tell me that, too."

He chuckled, and I clung to him. "She was right."

"She was always right." Pulling away, I wiped my eyes again just in case. "Phew."

He tucked a few strands of hair away from my face. "How about you go back and spend time with Yoongi? He said it was all right with him."

"Really?" I perked up. "That's great!" I jumped up, hesitating before giving him another hug. "Maybe he'll show me more songs he's working on."

He rubbed my back. "He might."

With a bright smile, I released him and waved as I walked to the door. He watched me go, and once I closed the door behind me, I hurried downstairs with my heart full of appreciation for him.

Yoongi let me into his room after I knocked, and I resumed my place in the chair as he played songs for me. I spun around in it on the fifth song, enjoying the wheels attached that allowed me to do so, and when I noticed he was watching me, I released a startled peep before giggling. Then, I tentatively and very carefully nudged his chair, causing it to pivot ever-so-slightly to the left.

He looked at his monitor and said rather flatly, "It'll cause nausea."

"That's okay." I spun my chair around some more. "I'll spin for both of us."

On my fifth spin, I asked him to play the song he sent me. He did, and I beamed while I spun. I let my surroundings blur and let myself become dizzy, and when the song stopped, I didn't. I kept spinning because that's what the world did. After my parents and grandparents died, after every time Ryker hurt me, when I started working at HYBE, and when I met Lyric and my new friends, the world kept spinning.

It kept spinning, and right now, for the first time in a long time, the spinning didn't feel like a threat. It felt fun and safe and like I was free.

Yoongi smiled on one of my spins, but I'd lost count of the spins. I'd already begun to count his smiles instead.

꧁꧂

 

"Taehyung!" I opened his door a few days later once he said I could come in. Scrambling onto his bed, I pushed myself under his blankets until I popped back up with my face near his chest. "I have to tell you something."

He looked down at me, laughing as he circled his arms around me. "Hi to you, too."

I giggled, clinging to his sweatshirt. "Hi!"

"Hi!" he copied me, tickling my sides and evoking more giggles.

"Stop!" I squealed. "I have to tell you my very exciting news!"

He relaxed his fingers, instead hugging me as tightly as he could. "Tell me, tell me. I need some exciting news."

"Why?" I tilted my head as I caught my breath. "Are you bored?"

"Very," he groaned, resting his head back against the headboard. "There's nothing good on TV."

"Well..." I performed a drum roll on his chest, causing us both to crack up. "Guess what!"

"What?!"

"Lyric asked me to dinner with her and"—I squealed—"Jin said I could go!"

He beamed, grinning at my excitement as he rocked me side to side. "That's amazing! You're going to have so much fun."

"I've never gone out with her before," I continued excitedly. "I've always wanted to, and now I can! I'm going to tell you all about it when I come home tomorrow."

"I'll be waiting up to hear all about it."

"Yay!" I lifted the bottom of his shirt, making him yelp with surprise as I shimmied up to the neck of it. Poking my head out, I grinned at him. "Dinner with Lyric!"

He laughed so hard he nearly choked, and we were still laughing when Jungkook walked in.

"Hey," he said, his doe-eyes surveying the scene. When I turned, still in Taehyung's shirt but my back now to his chest, Jungkook blinked. "What's...going on?"

"Dinner with Lyric!" we both exclaimed, high-fiving because of our unison.

"Oh." He walked over to the bed slowly, half-watching the TV as he did. "Can I come?"

"Faeryn's the only one who's going," Taehyung explained. "And you've never met Lyric; you don't like meeting new people."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed absently, his attention now locked on the TV. "But Faeryn will be there." He put his right foot over his left, shifting his weight and chewing his lip. "I know her."

My heart swelled, and I felt a surge of pride for being someone Jungkook was comfortable around. Patting the bed, I wondered, "Do you want to sit with us?"

His eyes still on the TV, he nodded and began his slow shuffle toward the bed. Once he was on it, he pushed onto his stomach and forearms, enraptured in the show Taehyung had been bored with.

"You like this?" Taehyung asked, surprised. "It's boring to me."

Jungkook shrugged. "It's okay."

"Your eyes are glued to it."

"They're not." Jungkook glanced back at us quickly. "See?"

I giggled, and he turned for longer to catch my smile, showing a small one of his own before turning back around.

"What are you going to have for dinner with Lyric?" he wondered.

"I don't know yet," I chirped. "But she said we're going somewhere that has foods I like."

"That's good," he replied. "So you know you can eat something."

"Exactly." I relaxed when Taehyung began caressing my hair. "And she said it's a nice restaurant; not too fancy, so I can wear something comfortable."

"Is it as fancy as the restaurant Joon took you to?" he asked curiously.

I laughed a bit. "That one wasn't too fancy."

"But it was a little bit fancy."

"You're right." I nudged my foot against the back of his, and he jumped slightly before reaching behind him blindly and trying to locate my foot. I pushed it forward to allow him to find it, and he squeezed it in retribution. "I looked up the restaurant we're going to, and it looks a little less fancy but just as nice."

"You should take pictures so we can see," Taehyung suggested. "And for yourself. Pictures like that are the best."

I lit up. "Good idea! Like those cute Polaroid pictures friends take."

Jungkook's entire body jolted in place, and he shifted quickly, commando crawling off the bed. Taehyung and I watched after him, asking in unison if everything was okay, but all he said in response was, "Be right back."

He left the door open as he disappeared down the hall toward his room.

Hoseok appeared a few seconds later with his usual smile on his face. "Hey." He did a double take at Taehyung and my position, laughing once he properly visualized it. "What is going on here?

"Hi!" I waved him over, watching happily as he walked to us. "We're talking about my exciting news while I'm living my very warm life in Taehyung's shirt."

"Exciting news, huh?" He chuckled, shaking his head with amusement. "What exciting news can top your very warm life in Taehyung's shirt?"

"Dinner with Lyric." I beamed. "Isn't it exciting? Jin said I could go, and we're going tomorrow. Tomorrow!" I clapped my hands together in Taehyung's shirt, making them both laugh at the sight. "Isn't that cool?"

"Very cool," he agreed. "I'm sure you'll have a nice time."

"Do you think she'll bring her crochet dinosaur along?" Taehyung teased.

I giggled. "I should crochet him a little tuxedo for such a special occasion."

"Oh, you should!" he agreed with a laugh. "She would let him sit with her and tell everyone all about him."

I giggled, pleased. "She definitely would."

Jungkook returned, and I squinted to view what he held in his hand, gasping when I saw what it was.

"Hey, hyung," he greeted Hoseok, holding the Polaroid camera out to me once he was close enough. "You can use it with Lyric."

"Jungkook!" I exclaimed. "This—I've never—thank you so much! I've never used one before, and I—I've always wanted to, and this is—" I quickly scrambled out of Taehyung's shirt, under the blankets and out of them, and onto the floor. Once my feet hit the ground, I placed the camera down carefully and threw my arms around Jungkook. "Thank you!"

Grinning up at him, I told him, "I'll take pictures of things I think you'll like, too. Fancy things at the restaurant—so you can see!"

He blushed, nodding quickly as I kept our faces inches apart.

"Thank you." I kissed him quickly, nudging our noses together before pulling away, and shifting our hold into a side hug, I excitedly told Hoseok, "Jungkook's letting me use his Polaroid camera."

He chuckled, crossing his arms as he looked at the two of us. "I can see that."

I felt Jungkook's breath come quicker, and I immediately looked up at him, asking, "Are you okay?"

"I'm—yeah, you—yeah." His voice was slightly higher than usual. "You kissed me."

"Oh." I blinked. "Was that okay? I'm so sorry—I should've thought. I just thought that since we did it already, I could, but—"

"No, it's—you can," he said quickly. "I—I like it."

"Oh!" I started to smile. "Okay. I like it, too."

Taehyung chuckled, furthering Jungkook's blush, and the latter shot back an embarrassed, "Shut up."

"Oh, shh, leave him be," Hoseok chided Taehyung teasingly. "He can't help being so sweet."

"He is," I attested, holding him tighter. "Really sweet."

Jungkook shivered, and I used my hold on his neck to pull him down for another kiss. This time, he deepened it, pushing his tongue into my mouth to taste me. I hummed contentedly, preening when he curled his fingers in my hair so softly to keep me close.

When he pulled away, he licked his lips while looking at mine.

"Again?" he asked, and I grinned and kissed him, holding his hair as he held mine.

"That was sweet," Hoseok voiced his approval once we pulled away. "Very sweet, especially to let Taehyung and I watch."

I turned to see Taehyung's eyes zoned in on me with a slight flush to his cheeks, and his lips inched into a smile when our eyes caught.

I took Jungkook's hand and led him the few steps to Hoseok, and with his hand still in mine, I kissed Hoseok. He put his hand on my back as I arched it, and he nudged me closer, making a low sound of approval as we kissed.

Patting my ass, he nudged me toward Taehyung and rasped near my ear, "Go give him some attention."

Pulling Jungkook closer to Hoseok, I pushed his hand into Hoseok's and smiled shyly before hurrying over to Taehyung. I flew under the blankets, and as they fell around me, I cupped his face. "Hi," I breathed out before kissing him.

He delved into it immediately, keeping the pace I set and relaxing with my body pressed against his. Still kissing him, I glanced sideways to see Jungkook gripping Hoseok's hand as he watched us kiss. I looked at him as I kissed Taehyung, watching how it affected him; his tightened features and grip on Hoseok, his sudden shiver, and a muscle tick in his neck.

Suddenly, Taehyung grasped my chin and turned me back to him, leaning back just enough to tell me, "You can kiss him after, but right now, you're kissing me."

I moaned into his next kiss, my eyelids fluttering as I lost myself to him. Kissing him made my stomach flip excitedly; he was my first real friend after Lyric, and kissing him still felt surreal. I loved it, and I sighed into our kiss, thrilled.

When we pulled away to catch our breath, I pushed my cheek to rest on his chest and looked over at Hoseok and Jungkook. The former lifted a brow and let his eyes drift to his and Jungkook's hand in silent question. I blushed, and instead of responding, I reached my hand out to them.

"Sit with us?" I offered.

Jungkook leapt at the opportunity, and Taehyung resituated so I could be between them. It didn't last for long when Hoseok approached and motioned for Jungkook to leave the bed. Although confused, he listened, and when Hoseok took his place, he patted the area in front of him. Jungkook quickly took the spot, leaning his head against his chest as he looked over at me.

A shudder ran through me at Hoseok's knowing look, and I took Jungkook's hand, squeezing as Taehyung pulled me to the same position as Jungkook. It was easy for Jungkook and me to kiss in this position, and after we kissed for a while, I alternated between all three of them, breathless and eager throughout.

I barely got any sleep that night, my mind circulating around kissing them. In my pretty pink pajamas, I pushed my pillow between my thighs and ground against it until I came, breathless and whining as exhaustion and pleasure slammed into me.

My face flushed with arousal, I planted my face in my sheets and fell asleep with thoughts about the seven men I lived with.

The next night when I clocked out of work, I waited for Lyric in the lobby, and when she approached, we linked arms and giggles on our walk to her car. The restaurant was beautiful and the perfect amount of fancy, and she ordered the same thing I did to try it. When we finished, we walked around the gift shop connected to it, taking a few photos with the Polaroid camera much to my delight, and we bought matching necklaces to celebrate the occasion.

"Like friendship bracelets," I told her giddily. "But friendship necklaces."

She grinned and nudged her hip with mine. "Just like it."

We took pictures wearing them, one for me and one for her, and as we continued browsing, I saw key chains on sale. Drawn to them after seeing a guitar that reminded me of the one in Yoongi's room, I lifted it, and when a ball of yarn keychain caught my eye, an idea formed, and I scrounged around excitedly. Once satisfied, I showed Lyric and followed her to a side of the shop she was interested in.

A chandelier caught my eye, and I smiled, thinking of Jungkook and wondering if he would consider it fancy. Lifting the Polaroid camera, I took a picture of myself with it, angling it to make it look like I was holding it, thinking he would find it funny.

I beamed at the photo, and once Lyric and I were satisfied, we decided to go to an ice cream parlor to end the night.

Once she dropped me off at my friend's house with the promise we'd do something fun next weekend, I skipped into the house happily. I didn't get the chance to knock on the door when Taehyung swung it open.

"You're back!" he exclaimed, tugging me and my gift bag into his arms for a tight squeeze.

Jungkook popped up beside him. "You were gone for a long time." He caught my eye from over Taehyung's shoulder. "Was it fancy?"

Jimin chuckled from the living room couch. "Give her a second to breathe."

"She's breathing," Jungkook defended.

"I am," I managed as Taehyung squeezed me tighter.

"Taehyung," Namjoon said lightly.

Taehyung pulled away with an apologetic grin, squeezing my shoulders instead. "You were gone for a while," he concurred.

"I had so much fun," I gushed. "And I took so many pictures. We even went and got ice cream!" Bounding over to the living room, I eagerly motioned for Taehyung and Jungkook to follow. "Lyric says we can do something fun next weekend, too. Isn't that cool?"

Confirmation filled the room, and I looked around to see almost everyone present. Setting my gift bag on the coffee table while an action movie played, I wondered, "Where's Jin and Hoseok and Yoongi?"

"Yoongi's in his room," Jungkook said while he tried to peek into my bag. "Jin's getting a snack, and Hoseok is taking a shower."

"Is he almost done?" I asked hopefully.

"He should be," Jimin confirmed with a chuckle. "Why? Are you calling a meeting?"

"Yes," I said giddily, putting my hands on my hips. "A very professional one."

"Ah, is that right?" he crooned. "What kind of very professional meeting are you throwing?"

"It's a secret until everyone is here. Oh!" I turned when I heard Jin approach and waved excitedly. "I'm back."

He set his spoon into his cereal bowl after taking a bite. Swallowing as he approached, he asked, "How was your dinner?"

"Really good!" I twined my hands together and pointed at my bag. "I'm calling a meeting."

"Ah." He leaned down when he reached me, kissing my forehead. "I'm right on time."

I giggled, blushing as the heat of his lips left its mark. "Yeah."

"Right on time for what?" Hoseok asked as he appeared at the end of the stairs.

"Hoseok!" I waved him over with both hands. "Come on, come on!"

"What's going on?" He chuckled, drying his hair with his towel. "A movie night?"

"No," I declared, then hesitated. "Well, if you all want to, then yes, but first, I'm calling a meeting."

"A meeting?" He hummed at the sight of my flushed cheeks and slightly ruffled hair from running to the house. Stealing a kiss, he asked, "Of what kind?"

"It's a secret," Jimin told him, his tone teasing. "She won't tell us until everyone's here."

"Oh, how exciting." Hoseok smiled into another kiss. "Why don't you sit with me on the couch until everyone's here, then?"

"Well, I—I can't," I revealed, scandalized.

"Why can't you, sweetheart?"

"Because," I said in an undertone. "I won't want to...you know." I whispered, "Do the meeting anymore."

"You'll be too distracted, hm?"

"Yes," I squeaked, earning several chuckles from a few of them.

"That's all right," he mused. "Meetings can always be called later."

"Hoseok, "I whined.

"All right," he chuckled, squeezing my hip fondly. "Where's Yoongi?"

"In his room, Jungkook said," I revealed. "Can..." I glanced at Jin. "Can I go get him?"

"You can ask," he responded as he stirred his cereal around.

I nodded quickly, telling everyone I would be right back before sprinting to his room. Slightly nervous, I still found it in myself to knock, encouraged by a familiar song he showed me a few days ago when I was in his room. Just like it did then, the music came to a stop when I knocked.

"Who is it?" was his mumbled response.

"Faeryn," I responded, a bundle of excited and anxious nerves.

It took him a moment, but soon, his footsteps approached the door. He opened it slightly and looked down at me.

"Hello." He sounded tired, and the soft skin beneath his eyes was a dark shade of blue and green.

"Hi," I said, waving a bit. "I'm calling a meeting." I motioned toward the living room. "In the living room."

He pushed his hair out of his face only for it to fall back into his eyes. He didn't bother pushing it away again. "All right."

"Do you want to come?" I asked when he didn't make a follow-up response. "Everyone's invited."

His door began to inch close. "I'm tired."

"It'll just take a second."

Laughter sounded from the living room, and I watched as he winced and stepped further behind his door. "I'm tired," he repeated.

Disappointed, I nodded, but my eyes lit up with a sudden thought. "Would it be okay if you stay here and I bring you something? I—well, I went to dinner with my friend Lyric, and I just—can I bring you something?"

He hesitated, taking a moment to consider, and when he dipped his chin, I raced to the living room before he could change his mind.

"Is he coming?" Namjoon asked when I appeared.

"No," I told him breathlessly as I grabbed my bag. "I'll be right back."

His door was nearly closed when I returned, and quickly, I rummaged around the bag until I pulled the guitar key chain from it.

"I saw this," I told him, struggling to catch my breath. "At the gift shop connected to the restaurant, and it made me think of your guitar, and I thought you might like it."

He stared at it, and slowly, his door opened a few inches. "I can't accept that."

My lips parted in confusion. "Why not?"

"I don't have anything for you."

"You did," I refuted with knitted brows. "The song you sent me. And you used your guitar in it, so this is—this is me giving something back." I held it out to him. "And if you don't take it, you made me accept something without reciprocating, and I'll feel the same way you feel."

He mulled over me and my words and held out his hand. Eagerly, I relinquished it to him, watching as he meticulously turned it over.

"Thank you," he said presently, his eyes still caught on it. "This was kind of you."

"Thank you for the song." My breath had returned more so than before, although it was still evading me slightly. "I listened to it five times today."

He exhaled shortly. "Five times."

"It's a great song."

He looked at me as he clasped the keychain in his palm. "Thank you."

"Of course!"

We were quiet.

I wish we weren't, but I wasn't sure what else to say when I just wanted to brush his hair from his eyes and make him smile.

I took a step back. "I should go." I laughed a bit. "Because of the meeting I called."

He nodded slowly. "Goodnight."

"I hope you have the best dreams," I said with a smile. "Maybe...maybe if you have a nice dream—even an interesting one—we can talk about it tomorrow or whenever you want."

He paused, blinking slowly at me. "Talk about it?"

"Well, yeah! Dreams can be scary or fun or interesting. Maybe all three. It could be fun to talk about, right?"

"Fun," he iterated languidly. "Perhaps."

"If you want to, we can," I offered, hoping he would take me up on it. "But if not, that's okay. I just hope you have nice dreams." With a wave, I took two steps back. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he repeated, and I showed one last smile before grudgingly leaving him alone. I was halfway down the hall when I thought I heard my name being called faintly, and I turned to see him with one foot out of his room.

I took five steps toward him. "Yes?" I was breathless.

"Thank you," he told me. He looked down at the keychain. "I'll wear it."

I smiled brightly. "Thanks for wearing it."

He nodded, and I lingered. He did too until he didn't, and returning his foot inside the door, he uttered a final goodnight before closing his door.

Slightly deflated he wouldn't be joining the rest of us, I tried to hold onto the little bit of conversation we had as I re-entered the living room.

"Look who's back," Jimin announced my appearance with a smile. "Are we all set for the meeting?"

"Yeah," I agreed, only realizing how defeated I sounded once the response left me.

He paused, and a few heads turned toward me.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I repeated, trying to sound better than before. "I just..." I took a breath. "Yoongi isn't coming."

"Oh, honey."

"It's fine." I tried to brush it all off and busied myself with the bag. "I had a mini-meeting with him."

"A mini meeting?" Jungkook wondered.

"It's a secret." I put a finger to my lips, making him smile a bit. "But we can have our meeting now. Let's just...be a little quiet because he looked tired."

They agreed, and I situated myself near the coffee table once more, hugging the bag close to my chest. "Okay; the meeting is now in session. So," I began, feeling the giddiness that arose when I first arrived back from my time with Lyric. "In case you were all wondering, Lyric is the best."

Laughter spread, and I beamed, quickly adding, "You all are too, but she took me for ice cream, so"—I waved my finger around—"just saying." I giggled before continuing, "At the restaurant, they had a nice little shop attached, and yes, Jungkook, it was a little fancy."

He cracked a grin. "I knew it."

"And in this little fancy place," I went on, "they had some nice little...stuff." I giggled, barely able to contain myself. "Okay, okay. Pick someone you want to go first."

Everyone pointed to Jungkook who pointed at Namjoon, and the former beamed, jumping up from his crisscross position.

"What am I doing first?" he asked.

"Closing your eyes and putting your hands out," I instructed giddily.

He listened excitedly, buzzing with anticipation just like me.

"Okay," I announced, pulling out the keychain I chose for him; a turtle. Placing it in his hands, I let him know, "You can open now."

He looked down at what he held, and his features lit up immediately. "TMNT," he breathed out, lifting the keychain and jiggling it around.

"They didn't have ones with any masks," I told him, beaming at his excitement. "But I thought you'd get it." Pulling the polaroid of the chandelier and me from my pocket, I handed it to him. "I also took a picture of something fancy to show you."

He took a look, swiping his thumb over my photographed face a few times before hugging me.

He kissed the top of my shoulder. "Thank you."

I waved off his thanks, unable to stop smiling as I motioned for him to sit down. "Okay, you can choose who goes next."

With his eyes trained on the polaroid, he pointed to Namjoon.

I grinned and bounded over to Namjoon so he wouldn't have to stand up. "Hi."

He chuckled, leaning comfortably on the couch but sitting up as I neared. "Usually when giving out gifts, you tell everyone beforehand so they don't come empty-handed."

"You buy me things," I retorted cheekily. "My turn."

"Uh-huh," he returned, amused. "Cheating the system."

I shifted from foot to foot as I located his keychain with a giggle. "Yup." When I found it, a book, I held it out. "Because you like reading."

He loosed a chuckle. A fond one just for me. "Thank you." He attached it to his keychain from where it still rested in his slacks—still in his work clothes—and lifted them so everyone could view them.

Applause filled the room, and I laughed, absolutely thrilled with the reaction.

He chuckled at my expression, grasping my jaw and pulling me to him. "Don't cheat the system."

"But it's fun," I countered, content and spinning from his kiss.

I went around giving out the rest of the keychains, ending with Taehyung; the ball of yarn.

"Because we're best crochet buddies," I told him happily.

He hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck. "Best crochet buddies."

"This was a lovely meeting," Jimin commented, slightly teasing but more so fondly. "My keychain is superior." It was a coffee mug, representing our Saturday mornings alone together. Him with his coffee, and me with my tea.

Jin had his keychain, a gaming controller, hooked in his finger while he finished his cereal. "No."

Hoseok smiled demurely. "The best would be mine." He lightly shook the red heart; sweetheart.

"Oh, shut up," Jimin retorted; an easy tease. "Keep dreaming."

"I will," Hoseok mused, sharing a smile with me.

"Everyone's is the best," I chirped, claiming a spot between Taehyung and Jimin on the couch.

"What did Yoongi get?" Jungkook asked.

"A guitar," I revealed.

"That's very fitting," Hoseok praised softly.

"And so sweet," Jimin crooned.

I squirmed.

"Everything matches us," Jungkook noted. "I like it."

"Mm." Jin stood with his bowl. "This was very nice of you, Faeryn. Thank you."

"Oh, of course," I said quickly. "I wanted to."

"Did you do this because you felt like you had to compensate for anything?" he questioned.

"No," I told him with wide eyes. "I just—I thought of everyone and wanted to."

His features eased. "All right. Good. I don't want you to buy anything for us for that reason. Don't feel obligated."

"I won't," I insisted.

"Very good." He tilted his head toward the stairs. "Get ready for bed and come back down."

I agreed readily, stopping at his side hopefully. "Jin?"

"Ask for what you want."

"Can I have a kiss, please?"

He tilted my chin, dipped his face, and kissed me. Hard. "Go," he said once he released me, and giddy, I floated up the stairs.

Notes:

hope you enjoyed the little reveal of Yoongi! There's more of him to come, our awkward little guy 😔<3

Namkook's dynamic reveal + smut + angst in the next chapter!! WOOOOO‼️ (I'm so excited, I'm climbing the walls rn)

Hope everyone's doing good!!! Love you and see you in the comment section 😩🩷

Chapter 13: Make Love to me

Summary:

Faeryn tries to surprise everyone, but it goes horribly wrong.

Later, during a thunderstorm, things get heated between everyone in the living room—even more so when Hoseok takes Faeryn to his room for alone time in his bed.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Chiksu allowed me off of work two hours early, needing to train someone for reception downstairs at my station where it was busier, and I took the bus home with the idea to surprise everyone with dinner.

Once I arrived at their house, I used my house key and got started on dinner. I used Jin's cookbook and tried something he let me help him make before, and I hummed to myself as I bustled happily around the kitchen. The only slight pause was my constant sniffles and sneezes that had begun last night, but I kept cooking and didn't let it stop me.

Around 6 PM, the door opened, and I jumped up excitedly, making sure everything was in place at the table before standing near it expectantly. When Taehyung came into view, I was confused as to why he looked upset. His brows were drawn tightly and a deep frown was sketched into his face, and his frustration only grew at the sight of me.

"Taehyung?" I tried.

"Where have you been?" he stressed as he hurried over to me. "Chiksu said you left two hours earlier, and we've been blowing up your phone with no response since then. A few of the others went to check parks in the area just in case you went to one of those for any reason, but you're here." He looked at me in complete disbelief, frustration, and worry. "Are you purposely avoiding our texts and calls?"

"What?" I sputtered. "No, my—my phone is in my room. I was—I just—" I looked around at the plated food as shame made me feel small and insignificant. Stupid. Worthless. And my idea of dinner I'd been so excited for felt the same. "I didn't mean—I was just—"

"Just what?" he pressed, not even glancing at the table as he stopped inches from me.

"Nothing," I stammered. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer my questions," he continued, his voice wrecked with anxiety. "You can't run off with no explanation and make me—us—worry like this. You have a phone and our numbers for a reason, Faeryn, and I know Jin stresses the need to communicate with you, so why aren't you? What was so important that you had to leave two hours early without at least texting us a reason?"

His words, his tone, his taller stance looming over mine—I withered, taking multiple steps back. "I'm sorry, Ryker," I whispered. "I—I didn't mean to."

"You—" He paused, and his expression froze. "What did you just call me?"

I froze along with him.

The door opened again, and Namjoon's voice was quick to follow. "Hoseok and Jin haven't had any luck at the parks. They're going to check one more before—"

His words stopped at the sight of me, and he took one look at me and my shaking hands, the full dinner table, and how far I stood from Taehyung.

"Faeryn." He slowly walked toward us, assessing the situation. "Did you come home early to make dinner?"

I didn't move. I barely breathed.

"Faeryn," he prompted.

I jumped and squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head frantically. They were just worried, they wouldn't hurt me; I knew that logically, but still, I couldn't stop the fear racing through me at a frightening speed.

"Hey," he said slowly. "Talk to me."

"I scared her," Taehyung revealed, pained. "I came in here accusing her of running from us, and she—" He inhaled sharply. "She called me Ryker."

I heard Namjoon step closer, and I stepped back, my breath catching and my eyes still closed.

"Faeryn." His voice was smooth. Deep. "Ryker isn't here. You know that, don't you?"

I managed a nod.

"I know you do," he continued, sounding closer than before. "You're just feeling scared, and you can be, but he isn't here, and none of us are like him. Taehyung was just a little worried, wasn't he? Wasn't sure where you were and got scared, hm?"

"Yeah," I managed.

"And that's okay, but I'm going to need you to let us help you out right now; let us talk to you."

I nodded, gasping when I felt his hands press into mine.

"You're okay." He applied pressure to my hands. "Everything's fine, and you're going to take deep breaths for me on the count of three."

I followed along as best as I could, squeezing his hand when he squeezed mine.

"There you go." He caressed the top of my hand with his thumb in slow, firm circles. "Doing so well taking these big deep breaths."

"Thank you," I stammered.

When I gathered enough courage to open my eyes, he cupped my left cheek, immediately caressing it. "There she is."

"It was a surprise," I whispered, ashamed.

"Dinner," he concluded.

I nodded defeatedly. "Chiksu let me off early, so I just—I took the bus here, and I didn't know I had to text you; I left my phone in the room, and I didn't mean to worry anyone on purpose, I—I promise, Namjoon, I really promise."

"I know worrying us wasn't your intention," he agreed, his other hand trailing down to squeeze my waist. "I know, and making dinner for us was very nice of you; I'm sure the others will appreciate it, but in the future, text us so we know where you are."

"Am I in trouble?" I whispered.

"No." He brought me to him, bringing my face to his chest as he held me. "You're not in trouble."

I caught Taehyung's eye, and he met my gaze, immediately stressing, "I'm so sorry if I scared you. I was just so worried, and I thought something might've happened, or you ran off to the park thinking you had to for some reason, and I don't want you to go."

"Give her a second," Namjoon told him.

"I just want her to know I didn't mean to scare her," he continued worriedly. "It was my fault she panicked."

"It's no one's fault but Ryker's, and he's not here, is he?"

I shook my head quickly, relaxing further when he continued rubbing my back.

"I know," Taehyung said, "but I still scared her, so I just—"

"Not now," Namjoon repeated with a lilt of warning.

Taehyung went quiet, and guilt coursed through me rapidly, coaxing me to ensure, "I didn't mean to call you Ryker; I know you were just worried."

"But I should've been gentler," he insisted. "I came off way too strong, and I never want to scare you. Ever, Faeryn, so I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

"It's okay," I told him quickly. "It's okay. I'm okay—we're okay."

"Okay." He was barely breathing. "Okay."

"Go wash up for dinner," Namjoon instructed him. "Take a minute."

"Are you okay here?" Taehyung asked me. "Is it okay if I—"

"It's okay," I assured him. "I promise, and I'll text everyone from now on, I promise. I—I can do it now; I'll just get my phone and—"

"Taehyung will text them," Namjoon cut me off. "You'll stay right here and tell me all about how you made such a nice dinner."

"You...you think it looks nice?"

"And it smells delicious." He led me to the table, lifting me when my legs continued shaking. "What spices did you use?"

I named them, curling into his chest as we arrived at the table. He sat, situating me on his lap and letting my cheek remain against his chest as I told him about how I made dinner.

During the process, I began breathing like normal again and Taehyung had informed the others I was at home.

"I'll say sorry to everyone," I told them both, sniffling and muffling a sneeze in my forearm.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung asked, seeming slightly calmer than before. "You've been sneezing almost non-stop."

"I'm okay," I reassured him. "Probably just allergies."

"You're flushed." Namjoon put the back of his hand on my cheek before raising it to my forehead. "Do you feel sick?"

"I'm okay," I insisted.

"That's not what I asked, Faeryn."

I pushed my forehead against his chest. "A little, but sometimes, allergies make me feel sick."

He tilted his head to see Taehyung. "Get some cold medicine from the cabinet."

"What if I'm not sick?" I asked.

"It will help with congestion," he told me, clasping the back of my neck and applying firm pressure, causing my body to relax. "You can take it with your dinner."

"Okay," I agreed, finding immense comfort in his hold. As Taehyung rummaged through the cabinets, I whispered, "Namjoon?"

The pads of his fingers lightly drummed against the back of my neck before squeezing. "Faeryn."

Quietly, I wondered, "Is everyone going to yell at me? Because I can take it; I just want to know."

He peered down in my face. "No one will yell at you." He scratched my scalp lightly, watching me melt further into him. "We don't yell."

"Even if you're mad?"

"Especially if we're mad." He shook his head, releasing a tight exhale. "They'll be worried, but Taehyung's text will put them at ease, and they'll just want to get a good look at you to make sure you're okay."

"I am," I attested quickly. "I'm okay."

"I know you are."

"Here," Taehyung said, returning with the medicine and my strawberry cup. "You can drink the pills with this."

I thanked him, taking his hand in mine while I took the pills with water. Once I finished, I tugged him to me and gave him a gentle kiss.

He noticeably relaxed, showing a half-smile when I pulled away.

"I'm not mad at you," I made sure he knew. "Or scared of you. We're best crochet buddies; I'm not scared of my best crochet buddy."

His smile grew, and this time, he initiated the kiss, just as soft as mine had been. "Thank you," he said into it. "Your best crochet buddy will make it up to you." I began to protest, but he said softly, "Please."

At his tone of voice, I conceded, letting him know, "But you don't have to; you didn't do anything wrong."

"Neither did you."

"Maybe we can crochet after dinner," I suggested. "That's how you can make it up."

"Okay," he agreed, his smile beginning to remain. "And vending machine cookies for lunch tomorrow."

"If I can buy you vending machine licorice."

He hesitated, but when I looked at him through my lashes, he relented. "Okay, but just one bag."

I kissed him again. "Okay."

We waited for the others to start dinner, but Namjoon made me eat so the medicine wouldn't hurt my stomach, and I relented, knowing the sight of me in pain would only worry the others, and I'd already done enough of that.

They arrived soon, and Jungkook burst through the doors first, stumbling headfirst into the kitchen and rushing out, "I forget to text back all the time. Jin's not mad at you, none of us are, and Namjoon said he would be nice."

I blinked, turning to look up at Namjoon.

He lifted a brow. "Wasn't I very nice?"

I blushed, nodding my agreement as I turned back to Jungkook. "He was nice, so don't worry, and...it's really good that Jin isn't mad. Namjoon said no one was mad."

"Yeah." Jungkook nodded quickly. "Because we're not, and they're not worried anymore because they know you're okay." He hurried to me, still nodding his encouragement. "It happens to me all the time, so they're used to it."

"Used to it doesn't mean we enjoy it," Namjoon returned drily.

"Hyung." His usual doe eyes went narrow as he made it to us. Through his teeth, he said in a strained whisper as if I couldn't hear, "I'm trying to make her feel better."

Namjoon's chest rumbled with amusement—and the familiar fondness Jungkook evoked. "I'm sorry, bub. Go on; I won't interrupt."

"Thank you." Jungkook stood as tall as he could and gave me the best smile he could muster. "I made Hoseok stop at the store before we got here, too, and he brought a surprise for you because he knew you'd be worried that we were worried."

"He didn't have to do that," I said with wide eyes. "That's—no, no, he didn't have to."

"He said you would say that," he responded, sniffing and turning to notice dinner. "Whoa. Who made this? It smells good."

Namjoon chuckled. "I thought you were focused on making her feel better."

Jungkook jumped slightly. "I am!" Turning back to me, he began to continue before faltering. "What was I..." His brows bunched together. "I was saying something."

"Hoseok guessed she would say he didn't have to buy her anything," Namjoon supplemented with a low chuckle.

"Oh yeah!" Jungkook's eyes lit up with remembrance. "Hoseok said he wanted to get her something, so he did."

I tried, "But—"

"And Yoongi said it's Hoseok's gift to you since you bought him a keychain, and if you don't let him give it to you, he'll feel how you feel right now."

I paused as Jungkook relayed the words I'd told Yoongi a few days ago when I'd gifted him his keychain.

I sighed and nodded my defeat.

"Good!" he exclaimed. "So...you feel better?" He looked at Namjoon hopefully. "Did I make her feel better?"

"I'm better," I assured Jungkook, enjoying how he buzzed with excited pride once I did. "Thank you." 

"That's good." He inched closer to me, a non-subtle red fanning his cheeks. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah," I said quickly, reaching for him immediately. "I want you to."

He shuffled forward with wide eyes, but he relaxed when I pulled him to me by his shirt and coaxed our lips together.

"Thank you," I murmured. "For making me feel better."

"You're welcome," he panted, deepening the kiss. "Thank—thank you for kissing me."

I tugged my fingers through his hair, settling comfortably on Namjoon's lap as I told Jungkook, "You're sweet."

"Thanks," he breathed out as his eyes flicked to mine, our lips a mere inch away. "Faeryn?"

"Yeah?"

"I—" His throat bobbed. "I really like you."

My heart nearly burst, and the worry slipped to the back of my mind. "I really like you, too."

"Oh." Relief flooded his features, and a shy smile formed on his mouth. "You do?"

"Of course I do." I kissed him softly. "You're very likable."

He beamed, glancing at Namjoon and trailing his attention back to me. "Namjoon likes you, too."

Namjoon bounced me lightly on his thigh before settling, making my stomach swoop with pleasure. "He does."

I shivered. "I—I like him, too. We're...we're friends."

Namjoon's chest vibrated as he rested his hand on my lower back. "Friends."

I shivered again, and before I could stop myself, I asked Jungkook, "Are you and Namjoon friends?"

"Yeah," Jungkook said, his brows furrowing slightly. "We're friends."

"Yeah, but, I meant—" I turned red. "Are you...friends?"

Jungkook's gaze flickered to Namjoon's in confusion, and whatever he saw was enough for his blush to blossom. "Oh."

Jimin announced himself, leaving Jungkook and my conversation unfinished. "There she is," he said on his way to me, his forehead creased slightly but a comforting smile on his face. "You just wanted to surprise us with dinner, and look at how good it looks."

He reached me, and Jungkook stepped back to create room for him, watching as he kissed me. "You're not in trouble, honey," he spoke against my lips, pulling back slightly to look at me. "I'm sure the three of them already told you that, but I'm telling you again."

"I'll text from now on," I told him with a nod, already trying to kiss him again. "I promise."

"I know you will." He kissed me again. "We know this is new, and you haven't had anyone to worry about you, but we're here, and we worry." He caressed my chin. "Not your fault."

My chest burned with appreciation. "Thank you."

"Hey." Hoseok arrived next with Jin locking the door behind him. In his hand, he held a carton of ice cream and ice cream cones. His eyes smiled at me before his lips did. "I brought dessert for the beautiful dinner you made us."

"Thank you," I murmured.

"Thank you," he returned with a soft smile. "I chose Neapolitan because I wasn't sure which one you wanted. Is that all right? If not, Yoongi stopped near the market to pick up new headphones; I can tell him to pick up an ice cream flavor you like."

"Neapolitan is my favorite," I said gratefully.

"Great," Taehyung said brightly. "And look, Faeryn. The cones are chocolate dipped."

I rested my cheek on Namjoon's shoulder, nodding against it. "So good."

While everyone washed up for dinner, Namjoon's mouth brushed my cheek. "You're quiet."

I pushed my cheek closer to him, and he pressed a lingering kiss to it before trailing a few up to my earlobe. "Tell me what you're thinking," he prompted, his voice low enough to remain between us.

I mirrored his tone. "Ice cream."

"Ice cream."

"Yeah. Neapolitan ice cream with chocolate-dipped cones and the best."

"Best?"

"Yeah." I fisted his shirt. "Best friends."

"Best friends." I heard his smile. I loved that I could hear his smile. "Hm. I thought we were just friends."

"But now we're best friends." I leaned my neck to the opposite side of him, sighing contentedly when he kissed along it. "Right?"

He smiled, lifting his lips until they hovered over mine. "Right."

"Best friends kiss," I whispered, my smile growing to the size of his. "Best friends communicate and text back and eat ice cream together." Our lips brushed. "And they don't yell."

"You're very smart, aren't you?"

I was smiling, and the anxiety from earlier began to subside. "Sometimes."

He tilted my chin, kissing me gently to ease me into it before deepening it and firmly squeezing my waist. I was panting when he pulled away, dizzy and wanting in his lap.

He hummed at my dazed expression, and before I could say a word, my jaw was grasped and guided away from him, and I mewled into a kiss from Hoseok. It was firm and protective, heated and warm, and I blinked up at him longingly when he leaned back.

Swiping his thumb along my cheek, he smiled at me. "Thank you for dinner."

I leaned forward and hugged him tightly, burying my face in the warmth and safety of his neck. "Thank you."

He held me tightly to him, only releasing me to kiss me again.

Everyone finished washing up to eat, and my smile grew giddy from the compliments they showered upon me. Yoongi arrived fifteen minutes later, and when our gazes caught, his eyes flit across my face before they settled.

He went to his room without dinner.

I wish he stayed.

꧁꧂

 

After dinner, we cleaned up and migrated to the living room to watch a movie. They let me choose, and I picked something I'd seen Jungkook eyeing; a new action movie that just came on Netflix.

He beamed at me from across the room and chose to sit between Namjoon and me, squished between us and all smiles until the movie stole his rapt attention.

The movie wasn't intriguing for me, but watching Jungkook enjoy it with his lips parted in fascination and eyes wide with excitement was intriguing.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and admired him while he watched the movie, listening to the soft rain padding against the house. The ceiling fan was cool against my skin, and as it ruffled his hair, I pushed my hand through it gently, enjoying how he subconsciously leaned toward me.

Namjoon patted Jungkook's thigh every so often, caressing and squeezing, and Jungkook kept leaning between us, content and focused.

Halfway through the movie and quiet chatter from the others, the rain increased until it was heavy and loud. Jungkook's ears kept twitching once the sound level heightened, and his fingers began sporadically tapping. The thunder was far off at first, but it began to grow closer and closer until—

A loud boom clapped, and he froze as his entire body stiffened. The next lightning strike happened seconds after, and he moved, pushing off the couch and a few inches from it, everything in slow motion as he tucked into himself. With his arms wrapped around his head, he shielded his ears from the next round of thunder that was louder than the last.

Concerned, I met Namjoon's eye briefly, but he was already moving toward him. "Bub." He gripped his shoulder, squeezing it firmly. Reassuringly. "Come on; come sit."

Jungkook didn't respond, and when I looked closer, I noticed he was shaking.

"It's too loud," I said under my breath, joining him on the floor. "Hey." I patted his other shoulder. "It's okay." I slowly pried his left hand off of his ear and removed my left Loop earplug. "It helps."

He looked at me, tensing as lighting struck, and when his chin dipped, I wiped them quickly with a sanitizing wipe I kept for them and carefully placed it in his ear. Once it was in and thunder came again, his entire body twitched. When it passed, he removed his hand from his other ear and waited anxiously.

I wiped my other earplug quickly and placed it in his right ear, grabbing his hands and putting them over his ears.

"Not as loud," I promised him. "It'll be quieter."

"It's just loud," he made sure I knew. "I'm not scared of it; it hurts my head."

"I know," I assured him. "It would be okay if you were scared of it, but I know it's loud. It'll be gone soon, okay? And you can watch the movie; we have the subtitles on so you can still hear it."

"Yeah." He nodded slowly, keeping his hands deeply pressed against his ears. "I can use the subtitles."

When lighting struck, he tensed, and I threw my arm around his shoulder, keeping him close. "It's okay; just keep covering your ears and watching the movie."

He leaned into me, and I pressed my hands over his for support. Thunder and lightning came and went, the movie progressed, and he slowly began to settle. His twitches calmed and his body stopped shaking, calming to a steady buzz.

The rain was soft again twenty minutes later, and his head had lulled to the side of mine. My head was spinning, and my fingers were twitching from the thunder's volume, but I smiled when he turned to look at me.

"Hey," I mouthed, then kissed his forehead. "Okay?"

He nudged his nose against my cheek, nodding into it. With his lips pressed to my chin, he mouthed, "Thank you."

I turned to catch his lips, kissing him softly in response.

He leaned back to tap the earplugs questioningly, but I shook my head. "Keep them," I told. "Just in case the thunder comes back."

His brows wavered. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"The sound." His eyes flit toward the rain droplets on the windows. "You wear these because of sound."

"It's okay," I consoled. "You needed it."

Taehyung cut in, "Jungkook can use my earplugs, Faeryn, so you can use yours."

"That's okay," I told him just as Jungkook said, "Yeah, so Faeryn can use hers."

He looked at me. "Faeryn."

"It's fine," I responded, squeezing his hand. "Taehyung's comfortable; I don't want him to have to get up."

Taehyung stood, already half way to us. "I already have them here in my pocket."

"You don't have—" I began, and Jungkook concluded, "He wants to."

I started to protest, but Namjoon spoke next. "Leave it, Faeryn. Bub, why don't you give her the earplugs back? Go ahead."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed, carefully taking them out. Holding them out to me as he accepted Taehyung's earplugs, he said, "So you can have enough time to clean them in case the thunder comes back."

At Namjoon's final look and Jungkook's entreating one, I relented and wiped them down, popping them back into my ears.

"There," I told them as Taehyung returned to the couch. "Back in."

Namjoon arched a brow. "Does someone have an attitude?"

I leaned against Jungkook, side-hugging him. "Not me."

"Look at me, Faeryn."

"I'm too busy not having an attitude."

Jimin's low string of laughter began before Hoseok's joined, but Jungkook just looked back at Namjoon for his response. At the motion, I did the same, a timid smile finding my lips at his slightly stern expression.

"What?" I tried.

He kept his brow lifted and his stern expression, and that alone was enough for me to sweetly chirp, "Sorry for my attitude."

Jungkook giggled, smiling sheepishly when Namjoon's attention shifted to him.

"Such a bad influence," Jimin teased me.

"She's not," Jungkook defended, putting his arm around me. "She just gave me her earplugs even though loud sounds affect her, too." He pulled a face at Namjoon. "Don't be mad at her."

"I'm not mad at her, bub," he responded, his features softening. "But Faeryn knows better than to have an attitude."

"You won't hurt me," I reminded him.

"Of course I won't." He looked back at me, his soft features remaining as his brows tugged together. "Faeryn, of course I won't."

"Then why can't I have an attitude?" I asked.

"You can," he confirmed. "But I very much enjoy how polite you are. How sweet you get when you use your please and thank yous, when you smile so pretty—Mm, just like that—and when you're so sweet to Jungkook. You can have an attitude if you'd like, Faeryn, but I'd love it if you showed me how sweet you can be instead."

I blinked up at him as my breath hitched. "How would—I mean, how would I show you that I'm sweet?"

He hummed in response, spreading his thighs and patting them. "Come sit."

I scrambled to my feet, averting eye contact shyly as I sat on his lap. "Yes?"

Grasping my chin, he swiped his thumb against it. "How do you show me how sweet you are? Hm? Do you know how?"

I nodded, my stomach swirling with giddiness as I pressed my lips to his for a soft kiss. Leaning back, I played with the collar of his shirt, blinking at him through my lashes. "Good?" I asked.

"How about you try one more time?"

I hid my smile, cupping his face as I kissed him again, but this time with more pressure.

"Mm." He nudged his nose against mine. "Very sweet."

I beamed, patting his chest as I slipped off his lap back to Jungkook. Keeping eye contact with Namjoon, I took Jungkook's face in my hands and kissed him, my head spinning when Jungkook sighed contentedly and pulled me closer.

Pulling back, I administered three quick kisses. "Can you tell Namjoon how sweet I am?"

He tried to kiss me again, but I leaned back slightly, prompting him again, "Can you?"

He nodded, his eyes glazed over as he stared at my lips. "She's really sweet."

I looked at Namjoon, satisfied at the arousal darkening his gaze. "Really sweet," I told Namjoon.

"I heard," he responded. Jutting his chin outward, he said, "Don't let me distract you."

Giddy and eager, I turned back to Jungkook and kissed him, mewling when he pulled me onto his lap.

"Jungkook," I murmured against his lips. "Do you sit on Namjoon's lap sometimes?"

I felt him twitch beneath him, and encouraged, I pressed, "Do you?"

He glanced at Namjoon, but I kept him to me with a hold on his jaw, creating eye contact. "You can tell me," I coaxed. "It's okay."

"Joon," he gasped against my lips.

"That's right," I murmured. "He's watching; watching you kiss me and sit me on your lap like he puts you on his, right?"

He hardened beneath me, panting as his hips bucked to meet mine. "Yeah."

"What does he do when you're on his lap?" I kissed along his neck, highly aware of the audience we had and enjoying every second of it.

"Joon," he said, his voice shaking.

"You're okay." Namjoon's voice was tight. "Go ahead; tell her."

"Okay," he stammered. "I—I sit on his lap."

"Can you tell me more about that?" I urged gently.

He kissed me desperately, nodding into it. "He kisses me."

"He kisses you?" My pulse quickened. "Really?"

"Yeah," he managed. "And sometimes, he'll take my pants off. His too, and I can grind."

I shuddered, kissing him just as desperately. "What else?"

"I don't know," he said, embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed," I soothed, breaking our kiss to his nose. "You can tell me."

"I want to know what he does with you," he entreated, his pupils dilated and his hips twitching beneath mine.

"Fucked my mouth," I whispered, my cheeks flushed a bright red. "He was rough."

"Did you—did you like it rough?" He looked at me, wide-eyed with arousal and curiosity. "He's not rough with me, so I—I'm just wondering if it feels good."

"It feels really good," I agreed breathlessly. "He let me grind, too."

"You didn't have sex?"

"He said not yet," I revealed, kissing the side of his mouth as I rolled my hips against his experimentally.

He moaned, tilting his head back as I kissed his neck arduously.

My mouth trailing up kisses until I reached his ear, I whispered, "Have you both had sex?"

He grasped my waist tightly, nodding quickly as he stammered, "Yeah, we're—we're together, like boyfriend and boyfriend." Quickly, he added dazedly, "But we really like you, Faeryn. I—I really like you so much, and we...we talk about you sometimes when we...you know."

I whined and pushed our lips back together as I began grinding in earnest. "I—I like that you talk about me sometimes."

He groaned, both of us kissing hungrily as he bucked his hips to meet the movements of mine. "Me too," he panted. "I like it a lot."

"Do you think they'd enjoy him together?" Jimin mused. "Seems like they'd love it."

"Seems like it," Hoseok voiced his agreement, his raspy tone making me dizzy.

"I thought so," Jimin continued. "Lay on his bed, naked, waiting for him to decide who he's going to touch first."

I gasped on a moan, my stomach coiling with pleasure as their words edged me on.

"Oh, honey, do you like that idea?" Jimin crooned. "Do you think that would be nice?"

"Yeah," I whimpered just as Jungkook nodded his agreement.

"Oh, look at that," Hoseok praised. "They both like that idea."

Jin spoke next, his voice nothing but a low rumble. "Namjoon, who would you take care of first?"

Namjoon exhaled shortly, releasing a rigid chuckle. "They'd have to prove themselves to me."

"I can," Jungkook and I said in unison, looking at him as we continued to grind.

"Can you?" he prompted. "What would you both do?"

"Anything," we said, again, in unison, earning sounds of approval from the others.

Whimpering, I pleaded, "I want to come."

"Me too." Jungkook's tone mirrored mine; heated and desperate. "Can we?"

"Look at them." Jimin's approval sent chills down my spine. "So polite."

"Ask nicely," Namjoon instructed. "Both of you."

Our words stumbled over each other as we begged to come, trying to stave it off until we received approval.

"I don't know." Namjoon watched him intently, taking note of the quickness of our movements and how we shook with need. "Do you think you both deserve it?"

"Yes, yes," I said quickly as Jungkook confirmed, "We do, I swear."

"Hear that, Namjoon?" Jimin chuckled. "He swears."

"Come on." Taehyung's voice was pinched tightly. "Let them."

"Oh, that's right," Jimin teased. "It will be Taehyung's first time seeing how pretty she looks when she comes."

"Everyone else, too," Taehyung said, sounding breathless.

"Hm, that's right." Jimin addressed Namjoon next, "What'll it be? Will you really deny everyone, Namjoon?"

Namjoon shook his head, amused, and his next chuckle was sensual and alluring. "Do you hear them talking about the two of you? Wanting to see you pretty you look when you come? How pretty you sound?"

Once Jungkook and I confirmed eagerly, Namjoon instructed, "Come."

It was easy, how we came in unison, whimpering and moaning through it. Amid our moans, we thanked Namjoon repeatedly, only stopping when we kissed each other ravenously.

"Up," Namjoon instructed.

When we looked at him in confusion, already grudgingly disconnecting from each other, Namjoon motioned us forward.

When we were close enough, he pulled our faces to him, and without needing further instruction, we kissed him. Our pace was languid, sated from our shared orgasm, and our lips caught occasionally on his—only furthering the pleasure from the situation.

Patting both of our asses, he nudged us back, instructing, "Thank the others for sitting here and watching."

"Thank you," I stammered.

Namjoon tongue clicked, and I jumped slightly.

"What?" I breathed out. "What did I do?"

"Is that a proper thank you?"

I faltered, looking to Jungkook for assistance. His eyes flit to the others, and he pushed his lips out slightly.

"Oh." I nodded quickly. "Oh."

I hurried to Jimin, only slowing down when an ounce of shyness found me.

"Oh, don't be shy, honey." He took hold of my arm and gently drew me to him. "You were so pretty and sweet—so good letting us all watch."

I preened, lowering my face to kiss him. "Thank you."

He squeezed my ass lightly before patting it. "Such a sweet thank you."

I shuffled over to Hoseok next, giggling when he pulled me onto his lap and bounced his thigh slightly as I kissed him.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"Thank you." He rubbed my back before his hand dipped closer to my ass. "How do you feel? It's sticky down here, isn't it, sweetheart? Do you want to change?"

"I have to thank Jin and Taehyung."

He lifted me slightly, making me gasp when he cupped me through my shorts. "Oh my goodness."

"What?" I gasped.

"You're just soaked down here, sweetheart." He rubbed my clit through my shorts, earning a frantic moan from me. "How about you thank the others and I'll help clean you up?"

"Okay," I agreed eagerly, dizzy when he nudged me toward Taehyung.

"Hi," I mewled, absolutely high on my orgasm and kisses. "I'm here to thank you."

He kissed me, deep and slow, encircling his arms around me tightly as he did. "You're so pretty, Faeryn." He nudged my nose against my cheek, breathing heavily when we pulled away. "Thank you for letting me—letting us—see you like this."

"Thank you for watching," I said shyly, kissing him again.

Jin was next, and the way he looked at me, intense and unrelenting, made my knees wobble.

"Jin," I whispered.

His index fingers motioned me forward, and with a sharp inhale, I pressed my lips to his.

His fingers curled in my hair, his kiss as intense as his gaze, and I whined into it, pleading for more.

"Faeryn." He leaned back, his lips ghosting mine. "What do you say?"

Flustered at first, I wasn't sure, but when he lifted a brow, it pushed me to say, "Thank you."

"Good." He pressed another kiss to my lips and forehead before gesturing to Hoseok. "Go let him clean you up."

"Yes, Jin," I stammered, floating back to Hoseok.

Once I reached him, I wondered, "Who's going to help Jungkook clean up?"

Hoseok tilted my chin toward Jungkook, and I shivered when I saw Namjoon toying with the bands of Jungkook's pajama pants.

"Oh," I whispered, rubbing my thighs together as I let Hoseok pull me into his arms.

He lifted me easily as he stood, carrying me bridal style to the stairs. "Say thank you to Namjoon one more time."

"Thank you," I said quickly. "For letting me and Jungkook come."

"Mhm." He smiled his handsome smile. "Go get cleaned up."

"And...and you're cleaning Jungkook up?"

"Why?" He tugged on Jungkook's drawstrings. "Did you want to watch?"

I shivered. "Yes, please."

"Polite," Hoseok murmured into a kiss on my forehead. "But not tonight."

"Not tonight?" I asked. "But that means I can eventually?"

"Eager," Jimin teased.

I blushed and hid my face in Hoseok's neck, squirming as I asked against it, "But eventually?"

A round of chuckles filled the room at my eagerness, and my blush heightened.

"Don't worry about 'eventually'," Hoseok soothed me. "Let's focus on you, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled, peeking out of his neck to watch Namjoon with Jungkook hopefully.

Hoseok chuckled, resituating my face in his neck. "Relax."

I kept squirming, but when he patted my ass reassuringly, I grudgingly settled, paying attention to the excitement growing of whatever we were about to do.

"Hoseok?" I asked as he carried me upstairs. "Are you going to make me come?"

"Would you like me to, sweetheart? Because I can. Hm? Make you come once or twice before cleaning you up?"

"Yes," I pleaded. "I want you to. And can I make you come, too?" I grasped his shirt eagerly as he changed direction from the bathroom to his room. "I sucked Namjoon and Jimin off—they said I was really good at it."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sure you are." He set me down in his room. "You have such a pretty mouth." Drawing my bottom lip down with his thumb, he prompted, "Can you say 'ah' for me?"

"Ah," I repeated, sticking my tongue out before he could ask.

"Good girl," he praised, gently closing my mouth to kiss me. "How about I make you come, then you can suck me off if you'd like?"

I grinned, kissing him back eagerly. "Okay."

"How would you like me to make you come?" He guided me to his bed, making me giggle when he swept me back into his arms to place me on it. "Hm? Anything you'd like."

As he hovered his body over mine, kissing me gently, I looped my arms around his neck as I asked, "Can we have...you know."

I felt him smile. "Are you asking me to have sex with you?"

I blushed. "Yes."

"Don't be shy." He kissed along my face. "I'd love to have sex with you."

"Yeah?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes," he confirmed with a smile, caressing the side of my face. "Are you sure this is what you want? Because if it is, Faeryn, I will take off your clothes"—he tugged my shorts back slightly—"and make you feel nice. Is that what you want?"

"Yes," I said breathily. "Please."

"And if you want me to stop, will you use your words and tell me?"

"I'll say red," I confirmed.

He chuckled softly. "Did Namjoon teach you the traffic light system already?"

I smiled shyly. "Yeah."

"I'm not as rough as him," he told me, chuckling into another kiss. "But if you'd like to use the traffic light system, then you absolutely can; whatever makes you feel most comfortable."

"I like the system," I said. "I'll use it, okay? And you can, too."

"You're very sweet, Faeryn." Lifting himself, he slowly lowered my shorts. "Can you tell me all the colors?"

"Green for yes, yellow for pause, and red for stop."

"Very good." He opened his bedside table, pulling out a condom. "And what color are you now?"

I hesitated as I zoned in on the condom.

He tore it open, pausing at my abrupt silence. His eyes lifting to mine, he prompted, "What color?"

"You...you have a condom," I stated.

He lifted a brow. "I do, sweetheart."

I swallowed. "Okay."

He lowered himself back to me, his vacant hand gently pushing the hair out of my face. "What color?"

"I—I don't know."

"That's okay." He kissed my forehead. "Do you want to pause and talk for a second? Tell me what you're feeling?"

"Yeah," I managed.

"We can do that." He kissed my cheek next. "I'd love to hear what you're feeling."

"Oh." I gnawed on my lip, only stopping when he gently tugged my lip away from my teeth.

"Sweetheart," he murmured. "Talk to me."

"You just—you have a condom," I blurted.

"I prefer to use them; it's safer," he explained softly.

"You...so you use them a lot? You...you do this with other people? All the—all the time?"

"Oh, sweetheart, no." He kissed my lips tenderly. "I don't do this all the time."

Relief joined my confusion. "You don't?"

"No," he consoled. "I bought these condoms for you."

My heart fluttered. "For me?"

"With how things were progressing, I didn't want to turn you down if you asked," he explained. "I bought some and kept them in here. But since you, Faeryn, there's been no one else."

"Really?"

"Really," he murmured.

I turned pink. "I'm sorry. I—I did the same thing with Namjoon; I don't have the right to ask either of you to not see anyone else, and I'm sorry."

"Faeryn." His smile was so kind. So gentle. "We've never done this before. Have you?"

I shook my head quickly.

"I'm sure you feel a little jealous over past partners, and that's normal," he soothed. "For us, we're okay with kissing and touching you, or watching any of us do it. I didn't expect to enjoy it, and neither did they, but we do, and you enjoy being with us. Hm?"

When I agreed, he continued, "Then don't apologize for asking these questions. Right now, you're the only one we have eyes on, and I don't want to pressure you into only seeing us, but just so you know, there's no one but you for us."

I blinked rapidly. "For...for each of you?"

"For each of us."

"I don't—I don't want anyone else," I blurted, staring hopefully into his beautiful, kind eyes. "Just all of you, and I've never liked anybody as much as I've ever liked all of you. Ever. And it scares me a little, how much I like all of you, but I don't want it to stop."

Hope swirled around me. "I don't want anyone else; just all of you."

His smile grew. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," I said brightly. "It's right."

He kissed me fervently. "Beautiful. Perfect." He deepened the kiss. "Ours."

I shivered. "Yours."

"Mm." He peppered kisses from my cheek to my neck, all the way down to my chest. "I like the sound of that. Do you?"

"Really like it," I agreed, giggling when he lightly tickled my sides.

He smiled at the sound, prodding our lips back together. "What color are you?"

"Green," I revealed. "Really green."

"Really green," he echoed fondly, brushing our noses together before lifting back up. "And if you need to pause and talk like this again, what color will you use?"

"Yellow," I confirmed.

"That's right. And if I ask you what color you are and you say you don't know, I'll stop, because if you don't know what color you are, that's yellow. Yes?"

"Yes," I said, slightly embarrassed. "I'm new to the traffic system."

"I know, sweetheart." He chuckled, soothing me with a kiss as he concluded opening the condom.

I gasped when he slipped his finger past my shorts and panties, thumbing against my entrance.

"Soaked," he murmured. "Are you ready for me, or should I prep you with my fingers?"

"I'm ready," I insisted. "Please. I don't need any prep."

"No?" He lowered his pants and boxers, and my chest tightened at the sight of his cock; hard and throbbing—for me. "Do you like it rough, Faeryn? Namjoon said you like a little pain, but no prep?"

"I just came," I defended with a blush. "I'm prepped."

"I'm soft." He pulled the condom on as I watched headily.

"But you—you look hard to me," I stammered. "You get...bigger?"

"No, sweetheart, no." He laughed lightly. "I'm softer during sex, not as rough as Namjoon tends to be. Would you like to be rough? Is that the pace you prefer?"

"No, I—I want you to be soft." I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me. "Sorry that I misunderstood; I'm just embarrassing myself today."

"You don't have to apologize." He hummed when I kissed him, caressing my hair absently. "Communication is all about talking through misunderstandings."

"I'm not very good at communicating."

"I think you're a great communicator." He cupped my breast, squeezing it lightly. "Neurotypicals tend to be the ones who aren't."

"But you're a great communicator," I said through a moan. "And you're—you're neurotypical, right?"

"I'd like to think there are exceptions."

"Yes," I agreed eagerly. "You're one; you're the best. Can you—"

I grabbed his other hand, lifting it to the breast he wasn't holding. I sighed contentedly when he kneaded it, growing excited when he lowered my shirt for better access.

"Such pretty breasts," he murmured. Lowering his mouth from mine, he pressed it to my nipple, offering a kiss. "So beautiful."

"Hoseok," I whimpered.

"What do you need?"

"I need you inside." I tugged his shirt. "And this off."

"Yeah?" His lips tugged upward, and his low chuckle was lost in the bridge between my breasts. "Do you want to take it off for me?"

"Yeah," I breathed out. "Please."

He raised himself, allowing me to tug his shirt over his head, and once it was off, I rested my palms on his chest, feeling him greedily.

"Does that feel nice?" he asked, letting my hands explore his toned chest.

I began to respond when his cock nudged against my entrance, and I whined, bucking my hips for more.

"Does that feel nice?" His tone was teasing and sensual, and I whimpered, wordlessly pleading for more.

"I'll be gentle," he promised, smiling when I grabbed his shoulders in preparation.

I moaned when he pushed into me, my walls immediately clenching around him. "Hoseok."

"I'm here, sweetheart." His voice was tightly wound with pleasure. "I'm right here with you."

"You feel—you feel so good." I gripped his shoulders tightly. "More, please; more."

He voiced his approval, kissing me as he slowly began thrusting. "Oh, there we go."

"Good?" I asked headily.

"Good?" He chuckled breathily, one hand stabilizing my waist as the other squeezed my breast. "You feel incredible, Faeryn. Squeezing around me and looking at me with your pretty brown eyes. Do you know how beautiful you are?"

"Beautiful?" I stammered.

"Beautiful," he reiterated. "Everything about you."

I shivered as pleasure and validation shot through me rapidly, my eyes fluttering as he hit deeper than before.

"Thank you," I panted. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"You are just. So. Sweet." He annunciated each word with a deep thrust, and multiple strings of moans left me as my hands scrambled for purchase at his shoulders and chest—anywhere I could grab.

Lifting my hand, he placed it on my forearm, and I clung to him, finding it easier than his shoulders.

"Thank you," I gasped. "Feels—Hoseok, please, please, please."

"Talk to me, Faeryn. Please what?"

"I don't know," I whimpered. "Please more, please kiss me, please touch me, please don't go—"

"Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere." He lowered his hand to my clit, rubbing it lightly with his thumb and making me throw my head back into the pillows. "And I'll give you whatever you ask for."

He alternated between my clit and my breasts, kissing me whenever I pushed my lips outward for him, and when I came the first time, I immediately asked for more, desperate and greedy.

"Deep breaths," he instructed, curling his fingers through my hair before leaning back and grabbing my ankles. I moaned when he put my legs over his shoulders, allowing him to hit deeper than before. "There we are. How does that feel?"

"So good," I managed through my ecstasy. "Feels so good, and I—I want a kiss."

He hovered his lips over mine. "You want a kiss?"

"Please," I begged, immediately rewarded with a kiss.

It didn't take long for me to come again, and when I did, he came with me. It was pure bliss when he groaned my name, his hips stuttering over mine as he ground through it.

"Perfect." He kissed me repeatedly as we caught our breaths between. "So good for me."

"Really?" I smiled up at him, infatuated with his kind eyes and smile and how they both smiled together. "You made me feel so nice."

"Good." He kissed me softly, taking his time. "You made me feel so nice."

I beamed. "That was the best."

"Was it?" He traced my features fondly. "Because it was for me, too."

"Yeah," I agreed. "The best."

His smile remained as he looked at me fondly, tilting his head as I yawned. "Tired?"

I nodded. "A little."

"Three orgasms can do that." He chuckled. "How about we get you cleaned up? I'm sure Jungkook's been cleaned up."

I blinked questioningly. "Really? What do...well, what do you think he and Namjoon did?"

"Well," he mused. "They might've gone for a second round like us."

"They might have?"

"Jungkook likes to be private with Namjoon most of the time; I'm sure they went to Namjoon's room if they decided for an extra round or two."

"Do they...do that often?" I wondered as heat flashed through me.

"Mhm."

"Oh." I felt dizzy with arousal. "Have you ever...I mean, have you ever done anything with them?"

"Jungkook likes to kiss sometimes," he revealed. "Sandwiched between Namjoon and I."

My eyes widened with realization. "Like he said you and Namjoon did with him when brushing your teeth in the bathroom."

He smiled a bit. "That's right." He squeezed my waist. "It doesn't happen as often; Jungkook's with Namjoon, like he said earlier."

I tried to read his expression. "Is that...okay with you?"

"Yes, it's fine." He smiled at my sincere expression. "I'm available for kisses every now and then."

"It doesn't hurt your feelings?"

"No, not at all." He positioned himself beside me, pulling me to rest in his arms. "We have an interesting dynamic here. It must be a little confusing, huh?"

"No," I refuted, curling into him. "It's just new to me, so that's why I'm asking questions. And...and because I like when Namjoon and Jungkook...you know."

"Yes," he chuckled. "I noticed."

I whined, batting his chest in protest.

He laughed lightly. "It's very sweet."

I shrugged, hiding my blush in his chest. "It's just...I've never seen guys together, but Jungkook and Namjoon together are so—" I huffed out a breath. "And I haven't even really seen them do anything, but they kissed tonight, and Namjoon watched Jungkook and I—" I shivered. "I really like it."

"And that's okay." He kissed the top of my head. "You can like it; I don't mind watching every now and then."

"They let you watch?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"You let us watch tonight," he pointed out, a fond tease.

I batted his chest again, peeking up at him when I found enough bravery. "Do you think they would let me watch?"

"I'm sure if you asked nicely, yes." He caressed my cheek. "Absolutely."

I squirmed. "Really?"

"Of course."

I beamed. "Okay."

He kissed my chin. "Do you want me to go through a play-by-play of things I've watched, or should I clean you up? Because I can do both—maybe even at the same time."

I whined in protest, slapping his chest repeatedly as he stood and took me with him. "I already came three times."

"Are you insinuating that you'll come a fourth time by simply hearing about what I've seen them do?"

"No!" I protested. "I'm just—I'm—Hoseok!"

He laughed, taking me into his bathroom. "I'm listening."

"Stop teasing me," I whined.

"No more teasing." He sat me down on the rim of the tub as he started the shower with a chuckle. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

"Yes," I agreed immediately. "Please."

He sighed softly, running his hand through my hair. "Beautiful."

I preened, pushing my lips out for another kiss. He bestowed it easily, both of us smiling into it as he lifted me into the shower.

The water was warm, but his embrace under it was even warmer.

I couldn't stop smiling.

Notes:

AHHHHHHHHHHH the Namkook dynamic reveal we've all been waiting for!! There will be a better explanation as to HOW Namkook's dynamic is different from the one Namjoon and Faeryn have, so don't worryyyy! I already have that steamy chapter ready to go😈

I hope you liked this chapter!! I'm excited for the next one; it has a whole lot of comfort in it 🥹

Chapter 14: Sex Makes me Feel Better

Summary:

Faeryn wakes up during the night hot and shaking, and a few of the guys ensure to do whatever's necessary to bring her fever down.

Later, something Ryker did is revealed, and it evokes tension after dinner.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and confused. I was hot, so hot I couldn't breathe, and someone was holding me. Weakly pushing at the arms keeping me close, I managed to escape and toppled onto the floor.

My limbs felt like lead, my surroundings spun, and I still couldn't breathe. Gasping for air as I stumbled through the darkness to the door, I pushed it open to step into the hall.

It was even darker, and when I couldn't find the light switch, panic mixed with the nausea. I was quick enough to be clumsy, and I fell, releasing a startled cry.

The tears were hot against my cheeks as my body stung from the impact, but they were tears of confusion. I felt like I was wrapped in a suffocating cloth laced with sandpaper, and every moment became harder to catch my breath.

I tried to crawl, but my body ached and burned, and I collapsed on my stomach. I vomited on impact, writhing in pain as I struggled not to choke. I was drowning; I wasn't sure how to stop. And then, finally, when I was sure it would never stop, the vomit eased and left me with intense cramps.

My tears quickened at the mess I made, and I tried to clean it with the bottom of my shirt, but I just made it worse.

The hallway lights turned on, and I flinched, my eyes welling as I turned to view who did it.

"I'm sorry," I rasped, dizzy and exhausted. "I—I tried to go to the bathroom, but I fell."

"Oh, sweetheart." Hoseok approached quickly, crouching down immediately. "What happened? You don't feel good?" He put his hand to my forehead, cupping the side of my face lightly. "You have a fever."

My lip trembled. "I made a mess."

"It's okay," he soothed, carefully lifting me up. "We're going to get you cleaned up."

I looked down at my shirt as he carried me to the bathroom. "I...I tried to clean it."

"That's okay." He arranged my hair out of my face, and my tears quickened with shame at how strands stuck to my cheeks. "Sweetheart, don't cry. It's okay; it's an easy fix."

"Easy fix?"

"Easy fix," he reiterated gently, keeping me in his arms as he turned the bath on. "We'll give you a nice bath, get some medicine, and go back to bed with the air conditioner to bring your fever down. A cold compress too, okay? Does that sound good?"

"But the mess," I insisted shakily. "I have to clean it up."

"You don't have to do anything but relax," he refuted gently. "I'll take care of everything."

"Hoseok," I whispered as he helped me out of my clothes. "I'm sorry."

"Shh." He kissed my forehead. "Just take deep breaths. Can you do that for me? Take some deep breaths?"

"Yeah," I agreed hopefully.

"Good," he praised as he carefully lifted my shirt over my head. "That's it. Deep breaths."

I winced, wobbling as another wave of nausea hit me.

"You're okay," he consoled. "Just keep taking those deep breaths."

He placed me in the tub, gently washing my body as the chill bath water worked to ease the fever.

A knock on the door startled me, and I inhaled sharply with alarm.

"Who's in there?" Jin.

"Faeryn and I am," Hoseok responded, soothing me with gentle swipes of the washcloth. "She's taking a bath."

"Faeryn?" Jin knocked again. "Hoseok, open this door."

Hoseok chuckled softly. "Is it okay if he comes in?" He gently wiped around my mouth. "He's worried."

My heart dropped, and I whispered, "He saw the vomit?"

Namjoon responded, "He saw the vomit."

I jumped slightly, causing the water to slosh around me. "Namjoon?"

"Present." He knocked along with Jin. "Open."

I blinked rapidly. "I'm naked."

"You can tell them no," Hoseok let me know. "That's okay." Lifting his voice slightly for it to reach the door, he said, "Clean up."

"What?" I sputtered. "No, no, that's—that's my mess."

"We will clean," Jin began curtly, "after we see her."

"She's okay," Hoseok relayed. "She has a fever, but the bath is helping."

Jin's voice dipped, and when he said Hoseok's name next, it was a warning.

Hoseok cupped my cheek. "Do you want them in here?"

"No," I decided, my breath catching as I looked down at myself. "I'm disgusting."

"Faeryn," they reprimanded in unison.

"I am," I insisted. "I threw up, and it stuck to my face, and you're not supposed to throw up in front of the people you like." I sniffled angrily, my shoulders hunching in defeat. "It's disgusting."

"You're not disgusting," Hoseok said sharply, his tone making my eyes widen. "And while vomit isn't the prettiest thing in the world, you are, and I won't have you talk about yourself in any other way than in kindness. So if you don't want Namjoon and Jin to come in, that's fine, but don't let the reason be because you're ashamed of your body's reaction to a fever. I promise you, Faeryn, none of us are disgusted by you and never will be."

I swallowed as I looked at him, my heart racing in my chest. "Okay."

He lifted a brow. "Okay?"

"Yeah," I said breathily. "Okay. They—they can come in."

"Okay." He kissed my forehead. "I'm going to unlock the door for them. Will you be okay for a second?"

Once I confirmed, Hoseok stood to open the door. As soon as he did, Namjoon and Jin stepped inside. They looked intimidating, both of them dressed in only sweatpants, and my cheeks heated at the stern expression they both wore.

I self-consciously placed my forearms across my chest.

"How long have you felt sick?" Jin's tone was clipped, and I withered slightly. "Did you tell anyone?"

"She told me," Namjoon revealed as all three of them approached the tub. "She took cold medicine before dinner." To me, he prompted, "Did that help at all?"

I managed a nod.

"Relax," Hoseok reassured me, resuming his position crouched beside the tub. "They're just asking questions because they're worried."

"They look upset," I tried.

"They look upset when they're worried," he explained, offering me a soft smile as he checked my forehead again. "It's going down a bit, so they have no reason to worry."

"You didn't get her in here quickly enough," Namjoon told Hoseok, his arms rippling as he crossed them. I shivered at the sight.

"I was asleep," Hoseok explained. "I heard her in the hallway."

"She was alone?" Namjoon and Jin pressed incredulously as their brows shot up.

"I can walk to the bathroom by myself," I insisted as Hoseok returned the washcloth to my skin. "I just fell."

"You're sick and shouldn't have to walk to the bathroom alone," Namjoon said pointedly.

"But I did, and I'm fine." I looked away, choosing to focus on the water. "You're...you're making me nervous."

He sighed and exchanged a glance with Jin before stepping forward and taking a seat on the edge of the tub. "I'm sorry for making you nervous."

I shrugged, keeping my arms tightly around my chest.

He reached into the tub, gently splashing the water against my stomach near where my eyes were trained.

I startled slightly, peeking up at him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, softer than before.

My lower lip turned out. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?" He grabbed a cup from the back of the tub, one we used to rinse our hair during baths, and filled it with water. "Close your eyes."

I did, whispering shortly after as water cascaded from my hair to my shoulders, "Sick and gross."

"You might feel gross," he responded as I heard him uncap the shampoo. "Being sick can have that effect, but you're not gross or disgusting. You're Faeryn, you have a fever, and we're going to make sure it goes down."

Confused, I wondered, "Why?"

"You're sick," Jin voiced lowly. "And when one of us is sick, we take care of them."

"One of us," I repeated, shivering as Namjoon's fingers massaged shampoo into my hair. "I'm...part of that?"

Disapproval lined Jin's words. "Have we not made that clear?"

"I...I just thought I was visiting."

"Visiting?" they questioned incredulously.

"I'm leaving in a week," I continued quietly. "I'll get my own apartment, and we'll see each other at work."

Namjoon's fingers tensed. "You'll visit, Faeryn. You can come here."

"I can?" I pressed dubiously.

"Why wouldn't you?" Hoseok asked, concerned. "We want you here, Faeryn."

"Well, because it's been three months with me," I explained uncertainly. "And that's a lot of time, so you're going to need extra time away from me."

"What?" I opened my eyes to see Namjoon shaking his head. "How does that thought process work?"

"You need a break," I told him. "And it has to be longer than when we were together." When the three of them simply stared at me, I swallowed roughly. "Right?"

Jin spoke first. "Is this your thought process or someone else's?"

I hesitated, taking a stammered breath. "It doesn't matter."

"Don't make me repeat myself."

I winced. "It's...it's Ryker's."

Frustrated, Namjoon prompted me, "And do we listen to what Ryker says?"

"I don't know," I responded, my voice strained. "I just know that it's been three months living with you and you're not tired of me yet, and I don't want to be around for when it finally happens."

"When what finally happens?"

"When you get tired of me." I choked up. "When you don't want me around anymore. I know that Autism is tasking, and at first you'll want to understand it and me, but eventually you'll become exhausted and just want me gone."

Namjoon's hands left my hair to grip my shoulders firmly, and pivoting me toward him, his words were laced with anger when he said, "I don't care what you're diagnosed with. You're Faeryn either way, and I want you here—we all do—and if you can't understand that yet, that's fine, because you will; we'll make sure of it. And when you find an apartment you love, we'll visit, and you'll visit us."

"What?" I managed.

"You've been with us for three months, and all I've learned from those three months is that I want more; more months, more time, more dinners and nights and mornings with you. So you can get an apartment, but no matter how far it is, I want you here every weekend and three weekdays for dinner. Movie nights on Monday, dinner on Tuesday, game night on Wednesday, dinner on Thursday and Friday—but a restaurant on Friday—and on Saturday and Sunday, you'll sleep over, and we'll take you to work on Monday and bring you right back for a movie night."

He cupped my face. "Do you understand that? Do you understand how much we want you here, whether or not you feel like you're someone people will become tired of? Because I can promise you, Faeryn"—he pressed his thumbs firmly against my cheeks in a caress—"it's not possible to be tired of you. The only reason Ryker grew 'tired' of you is because he's mentally sick and people like him get bored when they've broken down beautiful people they pretended to love."

My eyes welled with tears.

"You," he continued firmly, "are not someone to be tired of, and it's fine if you don't believe me now, but you will." He pushed his forehead to rest against mine, and my breath caught when our gazes did. "You will."

I tried to say something, anything, but words evaded me at the gravity and depth of his. How long had I wanted someone like him, a place to belong, and I was leaving it in a week, but currently, I was struggling not to vomit and cry at the same time.

I clamped my hand over my mouth, and he understood immediately, gathering me in his arms and taking me to the toilet.

I felt—although they told me not to—disgusting as I retched into the toilet after Namjoon's speech, but as disgusting as I felt, I also felt cared for. Liked, even. Maybe, perhaps, more than liked. But that was a lot to hope for, and I was vomiting while Namjoon held my half-shampooed hair away from my face.

Wiping my face weakly once the vomit had run its course, I slumped back against Namjoon.

"Gross," I rasped.

He kissed the top of my head, shampoo and all. "You're not gross."

"The vomit is gross," I tried to amend.

"Vomit is gross," he agreed, lifting me back up. "Not you."

"Okay," I conceded, my eyelids drooping. "Thank...thank you for saying everything you did. I feel so dizzy, so is it okay if I...if I tell you something nice when I'm not dizzy?"

"Yes," he said softly, easing me back into the water. "Later."

Hoseok wiped my face again, and I turned to see Jin watching me. I tried to wave, but shudders wracked me, and instead, I said with chattering teeth, "I'm cold."

"Good," he said in response with a dip of his chin. "You can take medicine once you stop throwing up."

"Yeah," I mumbled, pressing my palm to my temple. "So I don't throw it up."

He nodded, catching Namjoon's eye momentarily as he continued washing my hair. To me, he said, "Focus on breathing, yes? That's all you need to focus yourself with."

I nodded blearily, my eyes fluttering close when Namjoon instructed, and I enjoyed the cold water even though it slightly stung because he was the one pouring it.

Jin located my toothbrush, and I brushed as best as I could, the action enough to further exhaust me.

I must've fallen asleep sitting up, because when I woke up, Jin was carrying me to Hoseok's bed. Wrapped in a towel, I looked up at him from where my cheek rested on his bare chest. He was so warm and comfortable, and I admired the precision in his rugged features as he entered Hoseok's room.

"Jin," I whispered, enjoying how his chest rumbled in response. "Are you staying in here?"

"Yes." He set me down on Hoseok's bed, lifting a long shirt that had been laid out for me. Slinging it over his shoulder, he lowered himself to me and began drying me down. It was soft and careful, and I sighed contentedly, following whatever instruction and position he eased me into during the process.

When he arrived at my hair, the drying felt like a massage, and I closed my eyes, already teetering back toward sleep.

"Jin," I mumbled. "I like that you're staying in here."

I felt his lips against my forehead, and I assumed he was checking my fever—and he might have been—but then his lips pressed to my temples, my cheeks, nose, chin, and finally, my lips.

I kissed him back sleepily, opening my eyes when he pulled away. My brows pulled together, but he had finished drying my hair, now lifting my arms to pull on my shirt. It smelled like vanilla fabric softener, alerting me it belonged to Hoseok, and I hugged myself, slowly toppling onto my side.

I pushed my lips out expectantly, closing my eyes once Jin kissed me.

"Namjoon's bringing you medicine," he said against my lips. "Stay awake."

"I'm trying."

His next kiss was softer. "You are."

"Yeah, I am." I pulled him closer, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath my palms. "Jin?"

"Yes, Faeryn."

"My mom gave me my teddy bear when I was sick."

He tucked my hair behind my ear, caressing my earlobe gently. "I'm sure that made you feel better."

I smiled. "His name was Mr. Stuffins."

"Where is he now?"

I frowned. "I don't want to talk about Ryker anymore."

His arms tensed, and I trailed my finger along the veins that rose to the skin. He took a moment, but honoring my wishes, he said in a low tone, "I'm sure Mr. Stuffins was very nice."

My smile slowly began to return. "He was, and he gave the best hugs." I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him closer until my cheek rested on his shoulder. "Like this."

"Ah." He passed his hand through my hair, applying slight pressure to keep me to him. "Like this."

"Yeah." I breathed deeply. "He's from this store called Jellycat. His name on the website is Bartholomew, but when I called him Barf at three years old, my mom said his new name was Mr. Stuffins."

His chest vibrated with a low chuckle. "I can see how that would occur, yes."

I hugged him tighter. "Don't go."

His grip on me increased. "I'm not."

I was half asleep when Namjoon returned with the medicine, and Hoseok was right behind him, letting me know there was nothing to worry about and that everything had been taken care of. I wanted to apologize that he had to clean up my mess, but he told me I didn't have to, and I managed a few more heartfelt thank yous before I fell asleep hugging Jin.

꧁꧂

When morning came, I awoke beneath the blankets between Hoseok and Jin, their bodies sandwiching me between them. The heat exuding from their forms was incredible, and when I peeked over the blankets, I saw Namjoon lying across the bed on his back, his arm resting on his forehead while he slept.

Warmth filled me, his words from last night resurfacing, and much to my surprise and relief, I felt slightly better than I had last night. Figuring it could've been a 24-hour bug, I curled back up with Hoseok and Jin and enjoyed every second of it.

They woke up an hour later to Hoseok's alarm, and as their eyes slowly opened, I alternated between kissing Hoseok and Jin as I held out my arm to Namjoon.

With a guttural groan, he pushed his way toward us, muttering his complaints about the alarm before pressing his lips to mine.

"Sorry about the alarm," Hoseok rasped tiredly as he coursed his fingers through my hair. "I forgot to turn it off."

"Sunday," I mumbled, content as I kissed Namjoon.

"Mm." Namjoon deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue over mine. "Sunday."

"Wait," I said abruptly, pushing him back. "I'll get you sick."

A low sound left his throat, and he grasped my jaw, pulling my lips back to his. "Then get me sick."

"I don't want to," I persisted.

"I can handle being sick. What I can't handle is you denying the man who wants to kiss you."

I blushed, and when a smile fought through, I told him, "I'll take care of you too—all of you—if you get sick."

"Then you will."

I relented, curling my fingers in his hair as we kissed once more.

Someone knocked on the door. "Is anyone awake? I can't find Namjoon."

Namjoon tore his lips from mine just enough to call, "I'm in here, bub."

"Oh." Jungkook knocked again. "Can I come in? I have a video I want to show you. It's about a cat riding a skateboard."

I giggled, and with a chuckle, Namjoon confirmed, "You can come in."

Jungkook opened the door in his pink pajamas, his features brightening with a light blush when he saw all of us. "What's...what's everyone doing?"

Hoseok patted the bed. "Come sit."

Jungkook hurried over, practically tackling the bed and earning laughter from the rest of us.

"What's everyone doing?" he repeated again, slightly breathless. "Do you want to see the video of the cat?"

"Good morning," Jin prompted.

"Oh." Jungkook blinked back with wide eyes. "Good morning."

"Did you sleep?"

"It's Saturday," Jungkook responded, pausing to amend, "Sunday now, but last night was Saturday."

"You didn't sleep," Jin concluded.

"No," Jungkook confirmed. "Because it was Saturday."

"Did you take your meds this morning and last night?"

Jungkook's lips turned outward. "Jin."

Namjoon chuckled, gently grasping the back of Jungkook's neck and pulling him forward. "You know better."

"It was Saturday," Jungkook insisted, but his persistence was dwindling as his eyes zoned in on Namjoon's lips.

"Does that mean you forgot to take your meds?" Namjoon prompted, taking note of where Jungkook's attention was. "Hm?"

"Sorry," Jungkook mumbled.

"Is that how you apologize, bub? Come on." He squeezed his neck lightly. "Where's my sweet boy?"

"Here," Jungkook breathed out, leaning forward only for Namjoon to lean back. A whine slipped past his lips, earning a chuckle from Namjoon and Hoseok. "I'm sweet."

"Then?"

"I'm sorry I didn't take my meds," Jungkook said quickly. "Can I have a kiss now?"

"What do you say?"

"Please can I have a kiss now?"

"Good boy." Namjoon pulled him forward and let their lips meet. It was soft, everything about their dynamic was, and as I watched, Hoseok took the opportunity to kiss me.

I mewled, closing my eyes as I fell into him.

Jin pressed kisses to the side of my head, and after a moment, I turned my head to kiss him. I kept alternating between them, gasping slightly when I felt Jungkook's lips next.

"Faeryn," he breathed into it. "Good morning."

I grinned, looping my arms around his neck and kissing him hard. "Good morning."

The rest of the day was spent with me on the couch drinking herbal tea and alternating between who would hold me. Everyone wanted me with them, and I felt like bursting with disbelief and relief, unsure how they all wanted me but never wanting it to end.

A few of them left to run errands, Jin being one of them, and I stayed with Namjoon on the couch as Taehyung dozed in and out of sleep beside us.

"He might've already been sick if he's this tired," Namjoon commented as a movie played on the low. "Something we picked up at work."

I curled closer to him. "Namjoon?"

"Faeryn."

"It's...about what you said last night."

"You don't have to say anything." He squeezed my waist lightly. "I didn't say it for a response; I said it so you could hear it."

"Thank you," I murmured, playing with my fingers, "but I wanted to say something."

"That's fine," he confirmed, keeping his voice down for Taehyung. "You can."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "I...I wanted to say that...I really appreciate you all letting me stay here."

"We know, Faeryn; it's all right."

"No, I know, but"—I shook my head—"letting me stay here didn't mean you had to keep being kind. You didn't have to talk to me or get to know me, but everything you've all done is...it's the most that's ever been done for me since my parents and grandparents died, and even then, it's different. You're all so different, and I feel...I don't know."

I trained my eyes on his shirt. "I lost my home with my family, and even though I'm finding my own apartment, this—here with all of you—it feels like a different kind of home, but still a home, and I don't know how to tell you how much it means to me. I like you, Namjoon, so much, and it's crazy to me that you like me too."

"I didn't know," he said when I remained quiet. "About your parents and grandparents."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." He tugged me closer to him, and I braved a glance into his face. "You lost your home, and I'm assuming you went to live with Ryker right after." When I nodded, he continued, "You didn't deserve any of that, and I'm not sure how to tell you how much it means to me that we've made you feel at home.

"That's what we wanted." He squeezed the side of my neck before massaging it lightly. "We wanted you to feel at home."

"I do," I said quickly, leaning into his touch. "I like it here."

"I like it when you're here." He leaned further into the couch, taking me with him. "You know that."

"You told me that," I murmured, tracing his shirt's neckline. "And you're not lying—because of the test."

"The test." His lips tugged up fondly, and I exhaled shortly at the sight.

"Namjoon," I whispered, lifting my fingers to his lips. "I like when you smile like that."

He took my hand and pushed my fingers to join his. "Like what?"

"Your eyes start smiling first," I explained quietly, my eyes transfixed on his lips. "And then"—my vacant hand traced his bottom lip—"your lips smile, and you look...it looks like you're fond."

"Fond," he repeated, kissing the fingers I trailed over his lips. "I am fond." His eyes flickered to mine. "Of you."

My heart fluttered. "Me too, I'm—I'm fond of you, too."

"Are you?" He pressed his thumb against my chin, lifting my lips to this. "Fond of me?"

"Yeah," I agreed as our lips skimmed. "A lot."

"'A lot fond'," he echoed, his lips quirking as he pushed them to meet mine. "Mm. I like the sound of that."

"Yeah?" I melted when he pulled me onto his lap, jostling his thigh until I was seated closer to his stomach.

"Mm, I do." He kept his hands on my waist, low sounds of approval leaving him when I gingerly let my tongue meet his.

"Thank you," I murmured, whimpering when he nibbled lightly on my bottom lip. "For taking care of me last night."

"Thank you," he returned in the same tone, "for letting me."

I kissed him harder, cupping his face and moaning when his arms tightened around me. The feeling of safety edged the pleasure of his taut thighs against my core, and I gasped into our kiss, "Can I grind?"

"I don't know," he mused, nudging his forehead against mine. "Would that make you feel better?"

"Yeah," I confirmed quickly. "Much better."

"Is that right?" He jostled his thigh, earning another moan from me. "Do you want to move your shorts aside? Hm? Unzip my pants?"

I nodded eagerly, not breaking the kiss as I fumbled with his zipper.

He chuckled, and the fondness in it drove my hips down faster. "You can do it."

"I'm trying," I insisted, high-pitched and needy. "But I'm—"

"You're what? You're sick?" He stopped my hand, easing it back as he took its place. "Should we stop then?"

"No," I refuted, nothing less than a whine. "This will make me feel better."

"Mhm." He unzipped his pants and pulled them down slightly, and his boxers were next, allowing his cock to spring free. "This will make you feel better?"

"Need it," I said as he spit into his hand and stroked himself languidly, never tearing his eyes from mine as he dipped his head to watch my reaction.

"Need it?" He leaned back, lifting his hips slightly as he kept stroking. "How do you ask if you need something?"

"Can I please have it?" I pleaded. "Inside?"

"You're still sick, Faeryn."

"But I can handle it," I persisted. "I promise."

"It's very sweet that you promise." He thumbed the tip of his cock. "But the first time we have sex, it's not going to be when you're sick."

My features scrunched, and within the moment, I blurted, "I had sex with Hoseok last night."

He arched a brow. "Did you?"

"Yeah, we—yeah, we did."

His fist tightened around his cock. "Why are you telling me?"

"Should...shouldn't I?" I tried to look away from his cock, but I couldn't. "I don't want you not to know if we...you know."

His features softened slightly. "Does it feel like cheating?"

"I...I think so."

He tilted my chin. "It's not cheating; everyone is aware and consenting."

I relaxed slightly. "Yeah."

"It feels different to be with more than one person, but in this situation, no one's cheating; everyone's okay with it."

"Right." I began to nod. "I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I..." My attention was caught by his cock when he released it. "No, no, don't stop; I want to—"

"Shh." He chuckled into a kiss. "Just breathe for a second."

"I'm breathing," I insisted. "I just wanted you to know just in case you didn't...you didn't want to anymore."

"You having sex with Hoseok or anyone else in this house doesn't scare me away." He tilted his head. "Does the idea of Jungkook and I scare you away?"

"No," I refuted with wide eyes. "I—I like it. A lot."

"And I like seeing you with the others; knowing you're with them."

Relief filled me. "That's good."

"You knew that." He kissed me again. "You teased me last night with Jungkook; kept looking at me for my reaction."

I blushed. "Yeah, but that's different than sex."

"It leads to it, and to me, it's the same thing."

"So we...we can have sex? Eventually?"

"We will." He lowered my shorts and helped me out of my panties. "But for now, how about you just grind, hm? Make yourself feel nice?"

"Okay," I agreed headily. "I can."

"I know you can." He patted my ass as he guided me to his dick, making me whine when he was so close to my entrance, rubbing and teasing but never entering.

"Please," I begged.

"You're sick."

"I can take it," I persisted. "I can."

He lifted a brow. "What did I say?"

"But it feels good, and I want to feel you," I pleaded. "Inside. I—I want you."

His features tightened, and it took him a certain amount of effort to deny me again. "Not yet. Now, if you can't just grind, we won't do anything at all."

"I can," I refuted before he could put his clothes back on. "I can just grind."

"Then go ahead." He squeezed my ass before slapping it, making me jolt forward and grasp at his shirt for purchase. "Grind."

I did as I was told, fisting his shirt as I ground against him, trying to earn his cock as close to my entrance as possible without it slipping inside.

I was lost in ecstasy, my eyes fluttering when he began assisting my movements. I wasn't sure how long into it that I looked to my side to see Taehyung awake and watching me with arousal-filled eyes.

I whined, and my hips stuttered, his name leaving my lips. Namjoon looked over, a low chuckle leaving him when he realized Taehyung was awake.

"What is he doing?" he prompted, his lips close to my ear. "What is he watching?"

"Us," I panted, unable to tear my eyes from the lust swimming in Taehyung's. "Watching us."

"I don't think he's watching me," Namjoon mused. "Hm? Do you think he's watching me?"

"No," I whined. "Just—just me."

"Do you have anything you want to say to him while you're grinding on my cock?"

"Taehyung," I whimpered. "Do you—do you like it?"

"Faeryn," Taehyung nearly gasped out my name, his features rigid and tight. "You're so beautiful."

"Thank you," I stammered. "Do you want to touch?"

His eyes widened slightly. "I can?"

Namjoon chuckled, slapping my ass before squeezing it roughly. "You want Taehyung to touch?"

"Yes," I whined, the stinging from his palm only evoking more pleasure, and I was barely hanging on. "Please touch, Taehyung, please."

He was closer to us in seconds, his hand hovering questioningly before he pulled it back. "Where can I—where is it okay for me to touch?"

"Anywhere," I let him know headily. "I want you to touch me everywhere."

He inhaled sharply, releasing a groan laced with deep-seated need and want, and without needing further prompt, he let his hands roam my body. His fingers were long and slender, soft and firm, and he offered gentle squeezes from my ass to my waist, and when he reached my breasts, he was even gentler.

"Thank you," I panted. "Thank you, thank you."

"Look at how polite she is," Namjoon mused, curling his fingers in my hair and tugging my head back to bare my neck to them. "Kiss her neck; she likes that."

Taehyung listened immediately, a groan leaving him when I whimpered as soon as his lips made contact.

"She likes it when Jungkook nibbles and sucks a bit; gives her a nice hickey," Namjoon revealed, his voice strained from his approaching orgasm as mine did the same.

Taehyung sucked lightly, kissing and nibbling along my neck as he kneaded my breasts gently, and when Namjoon lifted his hips lightly, allowing his cock to nudge against my entrance, I cried out, grounding against him greedily.

"Have to come, have to come," I pleaded. "Please let me, please Namjoon, please—"

"What do you think?" Namjoon prompted Taehyung. "Should we let her come?"

Taehyung barely managed his agreement when Namjoon nudged my face to Taehyung's, both of us moaning into the kiss, and when Namjoon voiced his approval for me to come, I came immediately.

Namjoon came moments after me, and the sounds of his groans of pleasure—the feel of his cum against my back—left me panting against Taehyung's lips, dizzy with pleasure.

I kept mumbling my thank yous before I collapsed against Namjoon's chest, shuddering and exhausted.

"You're so beautiful when you come," Taehyung whispered, his hand near Namjoon's as they both rubbed my back. "You're always so beautiful."

"Taehyung," I whispered, kissing him languidly as my eyes fluttered close. "I want...I really want to feel you, too."

"You have no idea how much I want to feel you, too." He pulled back just enough to speak, our lips brushing with every word he spoke. "But you're falling asleep."

"When I feel better?"

"Yes," he agreed, returning his lips to mine. "I would really like that."

Content, I completely relaxed against Namjoon. "Me too."

"I'll get a washcloth." Taehyung lingered for another kiss before grudgingly pulling away with a soft smile. "You can sleep, okay? I'll clean you up."

"You don't have to," I made sure he knew, already falling asleep.

"I want to," he returned kindly, and with a parting smile from him, I nuzzled against Namjoon's chest and fell asleep to the comforting rumble within it.

꧁꧂

 

I woke up curled against Namjoon's chest, a different movie playing and dinner cooking.

"Namjoon?" I stammered.

"Right here." He kissed the top of my head, letting his hand run up and down my back reassuringly. "How do you feel?"

I buried my face in his shirt. "Tired."

"Are you hungry?" He patted my side lightly. "Jungkook's trying his hand at dinner."

I peeked over into the kitchen to catch sight of Jungkook moving around, a pretty grin on his face as he talked with Jimin.

"Hm?" Namjoon prompted.

I startled slightly, returning my face to his shirt as a yawn tore through me. "Namjoon."

"Mhm."

"My wrist hurts."

"What?" He carefully guided my wrists away from near my face. "When did it start hurting?"

"Now." I flinched when he ran his thumb over the front of it, and his eyes flicked to mine immediately.

"There?" he pressed.

"Yeah," I managed, trying to return to his chest, but he wouldn't allow it.

"You used to wear your wrist brace," he continued. "Because of nerve damage; is it acting up again?"

"Maybe because I'm sick," I guessed. "The stress."

"Does Ibuprofen help?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "It doesn't hurt a lot, just a little."

He covered my ears with his hands, calling, "Jimin, bring water in Faeryn's cup with a straw and Ibuprofen, thank you."

Jimin looked over, smiling when he saw me. "Look who's awake. You okay, honey? Got a little headache?"

I preened at the attention, smiling shyly. "No."

"What's the Ibuprofen for then, hm?" he asked while retrieving it.

Jungkook waved as he chewed on a carrot he was cutting up.

I waved back with my good hand, telling Hoseok, "My wrist hurts."

Jungkook frowned. "The wrist brace hand?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but it's okay. The nerve damage acts up sometimes."

"Because you don't feel good?" Jungkook asked, worried. He held out his hand. "Do you want a carrot?"

"She can eat at dinner," Jimin said with a light chuckle, pouring water in my strawberry cup and grabbing a straw. "Focus on finishing up, yeah? We're waiting on the vegetables now."

"Okay," Jungkook said slowly, watching me and my wrist carefully. "Does Ibuprofen make the pain go away?"

"It helps," I agreed. "Don't worry; I'm okay. Just happens sometimes."

"That doesn't make it okay," he countered with furrowed brows.

"That's right, bub," Namjoon confirmed, still studying my wrist. "It doesn't." Looking at me, he asked, "When did the nerve damage start?"

I focused on my cup as Jimin walked forward with it, trying to keep my voice steady. "I don't want to talk about Ryker."

The three of them went eerily silent, and Namjoon's fingers tensed.

"Faeryn," Namjoon said lowly.

"Don't make me."

He exhaled rigidly. "Faeryn."

"You promised."

"What did I promise?"

"That you wouldn't hurt me." My voice broke as it sunk into a whisper. "And talking about it hurts me, and you—you promised."

He remained quiet for a passing beat, but I could feel his chest rise and fall unsteadily as he struggled to keep his calm.

"We won't talk about it right now," Jimin said, now beside us. "It's okay. Let's just focus on making the pain go away, okay, honey?"

I sniffled and looked at Namjoon for approval.

He shook his head rigidly.

"Namjoon," Jimin said with slight warning.

"Give me a minute," he said through clenched teeth.

"All right." Jimin patted the small area between his and Namjoon's thighs. "Come here, Faeryn. Come sit."

"But—"

"Sit," he instructed.

I waited for Namjoon to say otherwise, but when I didn't, I listened to Jimin, confused and unsure.

"It's okay," Jimin assured me, handing me the cup. "Just take the pain meds and relax."

Namjoon stood, his shoulders squared and tension-filled as he glowered down at me. "Where is your wrist brace?"

I blinked up at him. "My room in the bedside table."

He left without another word, and alarmed, I looked at Jimin for answers.

"He's upset with Ryker," he explained, motioning for me to take the pills. "Not with you."

"Okay," I said uncertainly. "But I'm safe now, so he doesn't have to be mad."

"He can still be mad." He took the cup from me once I'd taken the pills. "It did happen, and he has every right to be upset."

"Not with me," I tried.

"Not with you. Here," he said softly. "Do you want to keep your cup?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, glancing at the stairs where Namjoon had long since disappeared. "Thank you."

Sipping from my straw, I curled closer to Jimin for comfort, still tense even when he ran his fingers through my hair.

I focused on Jungkook chopping up the remaining vegetables as Jimin spoke in an undertone, "Everything's fine. Stress makes the pain worse, so just try to relax. No one's mad at you, I can promise you that. Worried, maybe, but worry comes with caring, and we care about you, honey. We care about you a lot. And hearing about someone who didn't only take you for granted but opted to hurt you instead of loving you—"

He trailed off with pinched features. "It's unnerving and upsetting, but we're not upset with you; we're upset with him. All right? Does that make sense?"

"Yes," I whispered, looking at him adoringly. "I care about you a lot, too. So much."

"So much," he repeated, sighing softly as he kissed my forehead. "Us too. So very much."

"I like when you call me honey," I said quietly, still sucking on my straw for comfort. "It makes me feel nice."

"Good." His arms tightened around my waist. "Do you know why I call you honey?"

"Why?"

He kissed the tip of my nose. "Because you're so sweet." I mewled when he tilted my chin to kiss me. "So very sweet."

I pushed my face into his neck after our kiss, pressing ones to it as I gripped my cup tightly. "Did you have fun?"

"On our errand run?" He hummed as he caressed my hair. "I did. Do you know what my favorite part was?"

"What?"

"Coming home to see you."

I blushed, kissing his neck fervently. "Thank you."

"Oh, shh. There's no need to thank me for that."

I beamed, starting to relax, but when Namjoon's step sounded on the stairs, I lifted my face to view him. His features were lined with anger, and his footsteps were heavy as he walked toward us with my wrist brace.

I clung to Jimin with wide eyes, releasing a startled squeak when Namjoon took me from him and placed me back on his lap.

Even with his anger, the gentle way he handled my wrist was a stark contrast to it, and I chose to believe that he wasn't angry with me; just with Ryker.

"It's okay," I murmured as he fit the wrist brace securely around me, making sure it wasn't too tight by gauging my reaction.

He nodded curtly, took my cup, placed it on the side table, and tugged me to his chest. His grip was firm and unrelenting, and his body was filled with tension.

He didn't talk about it, he promised he wouldn't, but he held me tightly for all the things he wouldn't say.

"I'm okay," I promised.

His chest rumbled with his anger, and I insisted, "I am; I'm with you, not him. Just like you all tell me, right? He can't get to me?"

He didn't respond, only squeezed me tighter, and Jimin took it upon himself to confirm, "He won't get to you, but like I said, he's hurt you before. Give Namjoon a minute, okay? Just let him hold you if that's all right."

"Okay," I said uncertainly, hoping hugging me would calm him down. "But I really am okay."

"We know," Jimin assured me. "Just relax."

I listened, still not feeling 100% with whatever sickness I had, and settled into Namjoon's rigid yet warm hold.

I was teetering back into sleep by the time dinner was done, but Namjoon let me remain on the couch with him, helping me eat every time my eyelids drooped with exhaustion.

The others finished much quicker than I did, and I wasn't halfway done yet when they migrated to the living room. Much to my surprise and tired elation, Yoongi joined us.

I offered him a tired wave, and he looked equally as tired when he waved back.

"Everyone's here," I whispered to Namjoon. "See? I'm safe and okay."

He just fed me another spoonful of soup in response.

"How do you feel?" Jin asked, putting the back of his hand on my forehead.

"Tired," I told him. "And my throat hurts, but I feel better."

His lips set into a straight line. "Your wrist."

"It's okay."

"How much pain are you in?"

"Not a lot," I promised him. "I'm really not. I have a high pain tolerance, so if it hurts, I can't tell." I pushed out a smile. "That's good, right?"

He dipped his face to mine. "Have you visited the doctor for this?"

"Well...yes."

"Why the hesitation, Faeryn."

I hung my head in defeat. "I don't want to talk about Ryker, but everything you keep asking me goes right back to him, and I hate it. I don't want to talk about him; I don't ever want to talk about him again, so just—I want you to just stop asking."

His voice dropped a few levels, the rasp and warning prominent enough to gain my attention. "I asked if you visited the doctor for this, and I expect an answer."

"I said I—"

"Did you," he ground out, "visit the doctor for this?"

"Yes," I snapped. "But I couldn't do the tests they wanted me to, and I don't want to talk about it, and you can't make me, and Namjoon said you won't hurt me, and he promised, so if you try to do anything, he won't let you." My chest heaved with exhaustion, lingering sickness, and stifled anger. "He won't."

"I won't do anything to you," he continued, his eyes flashing with anger at the implication my words held—each sentence I spoke leaving a lingering essence of Ryker's abuse. "You need to know that, but instead, you're sitting here telling me you weren't allowed to take the tests." He cocked his head, the motion eerily slow. "Because of him?"

"I already said that!"

A muscle in his neck ticked. "Lower your voice."

"Don't make me talk about things I don't want to talk about!"

"You're in pain." His jaw was tight with tension. "You've been here for three months next week, and you haven't visited the doctor yet."

"I don't need the tests," I said wildly, my pulse quickening.

"Tell me why you don't need something that works toward a solution for your pain."

"It doesn't matter," I insisted. "The tests don't matter, and the pain doesn't matter."

"Explain that to me."

"I don't want to!" I grasped Namjoon's shirt, and my eyes flew to his hopelessly. "You promised."

Namjoon twitched, his narrowed eyes taking me in, and after a beat, he looked past me to Jin. "She'll go to the doctor when she's ready," he said hoarsely. "And they'll run their tests."

Jin shook his head rigidly, his features creased with frustration as he looked at me.

"Jin," Namjoon said in warning.

Jin kept shaking his head. It looked like he couldn't stop.

And he looked so angry.

My breath hitched, and I panicked, pushing past the bowl Namjoon held and hiding my face in his neck. It was as comforting as it always was, and I tried to catch my breath as I wished the conversation between Jin and me would end and that everyone would stop making me talk about Ryker.

"Faeryn," Jin began, and I tensed, awaiting his next words, but before they could leave him, Yoongi cut in, "Leave it."

I twitched, surprised.

Jin's voice was laced with anger. "Excuse me?"

"Leave it," Yoongi repeated. "She's setting a boundary, and you're pushing it." Again, steadily, he said, "Leave it."

"The boundary she's setting," Jin said through gritted teeth, "is keeping her in pain."

"Even so," Yoongi returned stiffly, "it's her boundary. It's not your boundary to place or break." Clearly, he iterated, "She's not ready, so you need to leave it, and if you can't leave it right now, leave the room."

It could've been a minute of silence, it could've been longer, but eventually, without another word, Jin left the room.

Unnerved, I weakly lifted my face from Namjoon and looked for—

"Taehyung," I pleaded.

He stood from the other couch and made it to me quickly, nodding avidly to show I held his attention.

"I want to go with you," I nearly gasped out. "I want to—please, I want to go with you and crochet."

He didn't say I was too tired or sick to do so; he just took me from Namjoon and carried me to his room.

I cried when he set me on his bed, the argument with Jin making me feel sick, and he hugged me as he carefully arranged me beneath his blankets.

"You're tired," he murmured, kissing my forehead repeatedly. Softly. "And you don't feel good; it'll make the situation seem more scary than it is."

"He was mean," I managed through my tears. "He didn't listen to me, and I—I said I don't want to talk about Ryker, but he made me talk about him anyway, and that—that was so"—my voice broke—"mean."

"I know, I know," he soothed me. "It's not an excuse, okay, I know it's not, but he's worried and angry, and Ryker is a horrible person. I wish you'd gone to the doctor, too, and it scares me a little that you didn't, so I understand where Jin's coming from."

"But—"

"Hold on," he assured me. "I'm not done yet. You can talk when I'm done, okay? Just one second. Is that okay?"

I nodded, sniffling as tears wet my cheeks.

"It explains it," he continued, "but it doesn't excuse it, okay? It doesn't make it right for him to push your boundary, and once he's had time to cool off, he'll apologize."

"I don't have to accept his apology," I said bitterly. After a moment, I sniffled again. "Right? He said that; he told me that once."

"That's right," he agreed. "You can make any decision you want, but I think it would be best to make that decision once you sleep a little. Is that okay?"

"Okay," I whispered. "You...you never make me do anything I don't want to. You're like my best friend."

His features softened. "Faeryn." He kissed my cheek, catching a stray tear on his way to my lips. "You're like my best friend, too."

"Best friends kiss," I said quietly. "All the time. Me and you kiss, and you're nice to me. I want to crochet with you."

"Do you think you're up for that right now? Because we can try, or we can just lay here and see if you're tired enough to sleep."

"I just want to be with you, and I...I want to see you crochet your Pokémon army." I kissed him tiredly. "I don't want to talk about Ryker."

"We won't," he promised. "You and I won't."

I wiped my nose. "Taehyung?"

"Yeah?"

"What are boundaries? I...I think I know, but I don't want to sound stupid."

"Oh, no, that's okay." He pulled me closer to him, bringing the blankets up to my chin. "I can tell you."

"Thank you," I breathed out gratefully.

"Of course." He settled his cheek on the pillow. "Boundaries are something people set between each other. Let's say I asked you not to come into my room without knocking; that's a boundary, and if you came into my room without knocking, you would be breaking it.

"You," he went on, "telling us that you don't want to talk about Ryker is your boundary, and tonight, Jin broke it."

My nose scrunched. "What happens if people break boundaries?"

"It depends." His shoulders lifted slightly. "If they continue to break them, they don't respect you, and you don't need that kind of disrespect in your life. I think in this situation, at least, Jin's emotion toward the situation clouded his judgment, and he bypassed your boundary because he wanted to fix your pain—which only caused more pain."

"Because he crossed my boundary," I concluded quietly.

"Right." He looked pained. "He means well, Faeryn. I've known him for years; he always means well, but hearing about what Ryker did to you is..." He inhaled rigidly. "It's painful. I get how it clouded his judgment, and I know when he calms down, he'll realize that, too. He's not the kind of person to make a mistake like this over and over; he'll think about it, learn from it, apologize, and be better. That's the kind of person he is, and that's why we've been friends for so long."

He caressed my cheek. "Aside from being pushed together in a band."

I leaned into his touch. "I just...I don't want to talk about Ryker."

"I know," he sympathized. "If it happened to me, I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"Yeah," I said, relieved he understood.

"Sometimes though," he added softly. "We have to talk about things. If we just bottle it up..." His hold on me became as protective as it was tender. "It'll eat us alive, and I don't want Ryker to cause any more pain to you; you deserve to talk about it and heal."

My eyes welled up. "It's...it's scary."

"I know." His forehead creased. "It's not fair to you."

I swallowed roughly. "Will I have to talk about about Ryker if Jin apologizes to me?"

"I think you'll have to talk about Ryker eventually," he said after a moment's thought. "But no one should force you if you're not ready. He's just worried, I think. That you didn't do the tests at the doctor and don't seem to want to do it now."

"I don't need them."

His brows furrowed. "You do."

"I don't," I insisted. "I don't need them, and you can't make me."

"Of course I won't," he agreed. "But...Faeryn, don't you want to feel better?"

My chin wobbled. "No."

He hesitated. "What?"

"I said no."

"I...yeah, I heard that, but...why?" He shifted, studying my face closely. "Why don't you want to feel better?"

My features twisted. "Don't make me."

"I'm not," he reassured me, his voice relaying his concern. "I'm not going to make you do anything."

"What about Jin and...and Namjoon? They were so angry." My breathing picked up. "What if they make me do the tests?"

Slowly, carefully, he wondered, "Why would taking the tests be a bad thing?"

"Because the doctors will make me feel better," I insisted.

"Why don't you want them to?"

I breathed heavily. "Don't make me."

His concern was evident in every part of his face now. "Faeryn."

"It doesn't matter if I feel better," I said through sharp breaths.

"Why won't it matter? Why don't you want to feel better?"

"Because I can't!" I blurted, putting a hand to my chest as I struggled to breathe. "They'll fix me, but it won't matter; it won't matter. Ryker will find me and break me again, and this time, he'll break something they can't fix, and if the doctors tell me they can't fix it, there's no more hope; it'll be gone, and I—I don't want hope to be gone."

A sob built in my throat, but it was stuck. "I don't want Ryker to take the last thing I have."

His features fell. "Oh, Faeryn."

The sob dislodged itself from my throat then, and he folded me into his arms, squeezing me extra tight as I shook with each stammered cry.

"I'm so sorry," he spoke into my hair, apologetic and subdued. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to talk about him," I sobbed into his shoulder. "I just want to crochet, please. I—I just want to crochet with you."

"Can you breathe for a second?" he coaxed, rubbing my back reassuringly. "Please? Just try to breathe."

"I don't want to think about him," I persisted brokenly. "And I'm crying, so I'm thinking about him, and I—I don't want to, Taehyung, please."

"It's okay to cry," he insisted. "It's okay, and if you try to stop it, it'll make it worse, and I don't want you to feel worse, so please." He held the back of my head. "Cry."

It was easy to give into his plea; I couldn't stop the tears as much as I wanted to, and I wanted to. I wanted them gone—I wanted anything that reminded me of Ryker gone.

"Crochet with me," I kept trying through shuddered breaths and tears, but Taehyung didn't give in, only whispering comfort in my ear and rubbing my back as he told me to copy the movements of his chest so I would remember to breathe.

Eventually, after ten minutes, I gave up and slumped in his arms as the tears leaked from my eyes. After another ten minutes, all that was left was tear stains and sniffles.

"I hate him," I rasped.

He clasped the back of my neck protectively. "Me too."

I leaned back slightly, not too much, but just enough to use my shirt sleeve to wipe the tears from his neck.

He caught my hand and gently laced our fingers together. "He's not here anymore."

"You are," I whispered, brushing our noses together and staying close. "I don't ever want you to go. Taehyung, I—I want to crochet with you forever, and kiss you when we're watching TV, and talk about our days every day, and I want to try new things with you—even if they're scary—because you make things not as scary. I don't need socks or earplugs or straws; it's like you're all of them."

A breathless chuckle left him. "Socks?"

"They make me feel safe on floors, and earplugs make me feel safe for sound, and straws make me feel nice; you're like all of them combined." My eyes filled again. "You're my safe person; my best friend, and I like you so much that it doesn't even feel like like anymore."

It surprised me when his eyes filled too, and I pressed my thumbs beneath them, catching the tears before they met his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing's wrong." His brows tugged together, and he shook his head as a short exhale left him. "Nothing."

"You're crying," I countered, concerned enough that my tears slowed.

"Because." His throat worked as he looked at me, continuing to shake his head until I gently held both sides of it.

"Because?"

"Because." His breath hitched, and when he smiled, it lit up every part of his face. "I'm your safe person, and you like me so much that it doesn't feel like."

I started to smile with him. "Yeah."

"Faeryn." He cupped my face. "I like you so much more than like, and I want to do everything with you. You make everything fun and exciting, and you've made me feel so much more than I've ever felt before—I don't know what to do with half of it, but I want it; I don't want it to go anywhere, and I don't want you to go anywhere—and you're so kind and funny, sweet and so beautiful, and you like me as much as I like you."

He released another breathless chuckle. "Maybe not as much as I like you."

"No," I refuted. "I like you more."

"We can argue." He kissed my forehead, then my nose. "But I'll win."

I began to protest when he silenced me with a kiss, deep and gentle, and I clung to him, tangling my fingers in his hair as comfort swept me away.

"I was just crying," I managed.

"And now you're not." He lavished my bottom lip, swiping his tongue around it before returning it to mine. "It comes and goes, right? Crying is good."

"Crying is good," I heard myself repeat.

His lips drew into a smile against mine, and I kissed him harder for it.

"Beautiful," he told me. "I can't believe how beautiful you are, and I know I say it a lot"—he broke the kiss to look at me, his eyes smiling at me—"but you are; you're so beautiful. Everything about you is."

"You're beautiful, too," I told him as relaxation seeped through me. "And handsome. And always so nice to me."

"Everyone should be nice." He bumped noses with me, making my smile grow. "Especially to you."

"And you," I returned. "Everyone should be nice to you; my crochet buddy."

"Your crochet buddy." He kissed me softly in succession. "Your very best and only crochet buddy."

I wasn't sure how I felt better when I'd just been crying, but I assumed it was because of—"My very best and only crochet buddy." I pulled him down closer to me until we shared the same pillow. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Of course you can." He rested his forehead against mine. "Of course you can."

And I did.

Notes:

GAHHHHH😭💔 I see where both Jin and Faeryn were coming from during their argument, but it's so upsetting because Ryker is such a piece of SHITTTTTTTTT, and he scared Faeryn into silence. Jin just wants Faeryn to be safe, but talking about Ryker and what he did to her makes her feel unsafe, so it's just a MESS.

Who wants to take a road trip to beat Ryker's ass? 🙋‍♀️ Hop in; we're taking a little drive😈 Hopefully by the time we all come back from our road trip, Faeryn and Jin will have sorted their argument out 😬😔💔

Chapter 15: Heal me Ocean; Know me

Summary:

Faeryn wakes up with more wrist pain, still not feeling 100% from being sick, and with some gentle coaxing from Taehyung, she stays home from work to rest. She won't be alone because Yoongi, unfortunately, caught the same cold, leaving both him and Faeryn alone for the day.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

“Faeryn.” Taehyung’s morning voice woke me up, his breath warm against my earlobe. “I’m going to work.”

“Work?” I responded groggily, wincing when I shifted onto my wrist. “Oh, it—Taehyung, it hurts.”

“What hurts?” He shifted me onto my back, instinctively taking hold of my left wrist. “Here, or in your throat?”

“Wrist,” I croaked, opening my eyes to view his concerned features. “It’s okay; I’ll just take Ibuprofen.”

“Stay home today,” he said after scrutinizing my wrist and pained expression when he turned it slightly. “Please? You’re in pain, and when we asked Chiksu for a sick day that time, he said you had plenty of paid time-off hours you haven’t taken yet, so take today off. Just rest.”

I frowned. “But I have to go.”

“Why do you have to?” He rested his elbows on either side of my face, caressing my hair. “You’re recovering from being sick, your wrist hurts, and you have paid time off to cash in. Perfect day off, isn’t it? You can skip a Monday, which is even better.”

“I’ll be here alone,” I countered. “I don’t want to be here alone.”

“Yoongi’s staying,” he reassured. “You won’t be alone. Okay? Can you stay home today?” He kissed my forehead. “Please?”

I relented easily at his request, gnawing my bottom lip as I agreed.

“You’ll be so rested by tonight.” He kissed my cheek before drawing himself up. “Maybe rested enough to eat some Chinese take-out.”

I smiled, cupping his face fondly. “Definitely.”

He smiled, bestowing a kiss on my lips before easing me back into the pillows. “Sleep. When you wake up for the day, Jin made French Toast. All you have to do is heat it back up. Jungkook chopped up fruit, too. It’s in the blue container.”

“Jin made French Toast?” I tried to sit back up, but he gently pushed me back. “Why did he make French Toast?”

He pulled the blankets up to my chin. “It’s the only kind of bread you like.” Turning, he grabbed his phone off the dresser and pushed it into his pocket, telling me, “I’m going to bring you Ibuprofen, but after that, you can sleep. Okay? The best Monday nap you can have.”

“But he made French Toast.”

“He made it for you.”

I clutched the top of the blankets. “Is he still mad; do you know?

“He’s still mad at Ryker, not you, but he’s much calmer than yesterday.”

“And…Namjoon?”

“He cut up fruit with Jungkook for you.”

I hesitated. “Really? No one’s mad?”

“They were never mad at you. I promise.” His voice dipped into a mutter. “Just at Ryker.”

“Well…that’s good.” I pulled the blankets up to my nose. “Do you—I mean, do you think Jin would want to talk to me later?”

“I mean”—he tugged on his jacket, shooting me a charming smile—“he made you French Toast.”

“That means he wants to talk to me, right?”

“I’ve known him for a long time, so yes; that definitely means he wants to talk to you, and he also hopes eating your favorite food will make you feel better.”

I was quiet for a moment. “We had a fight last night, right? Jin and I?”

“I wouldn’t say a fight,” he confuted. “An argument, maybe. A small one. Really small. Totally small.”

I squinted. “Totally?”

He came back to the bed, kissing me a few times. “Arguments make me nervous, big or small. I don’t like confrontation.”

I tugged at the sheets. “I don’t like it either. It…makes me feel like I’m in trouble.”

“You’re not.” He kissed me to seal his words. “You’re not in trouble; best friends don’t get into trouble with each other. Maybe they argue, but at the end of the day, they communicate, apologize, and work through it.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I’m not used to that. How do I know if I’m doing it right?”

“Sometimes, I think, the right thing can feel weird if you’re not used to it, right? If you don’t do it long enough, it feels weird—like it’s the wrong thing, but if you keep doing it, it will eventually feel right, and afterward—after a nice conversation with an ever nicer resolution—it will feel right.”

“Taehyung.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re good at this communicating thing.”

He cracked a grin. “I’ve had a lot of practice with everyone here, including the three men that made you breakfast.”

I smiled back, toying absently with the blanket. “I’ll get better at it? With practice?”

“If I can get better at crochet with practice, then you can get better at communication, and you’re already good at it. It’ll just take time to feel more natural.”

“Communication’s never felt very natural.” I showed a lop-sided smile. “I’m Autistic.”

“Well.” He returned the smile. “I meant more the fear of it; that we won’t be mad at you for trying to communicate.”

“That’s true.” I folded my arms over the blanket. “I can’t wait to have Chinese food.” I sniffled, wiping my nose. “Hopefully I’m not sick anymore by dinner.”

“Even if you are, Chinese food will make you feel better.”

“And…maybe I can talk to Jin.”

“Whatever you feel up to.”

I nodded slowly. “I have all day to think about what to say.”

“You have all day to relax,” he amended. “And Yoongi’s staying out in the living room; his AC isn’t working, and his room is making him congested.”

“Is he sick?” I asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “But he’ll be fine; he’s already taken medicine, and the last time I saw him, he was falling asleep.”

“Sleep is good,” I concurred.

“And so is Ibuprofen.” He hurried to the door. “I’m going to grab you some, then I have to go.”

I fell asleep shortly after he gave me Ibuprofen and left, and I had dreams of arguing with Jin and different resolutions. It was exhausting, and when I woke up near lunchtime, I didn’t feel much more rested than before.

I stayed in bed for a while, relieved my wrist pain had eased slightly, but I grew bored and anxious about tonight with Jin—slightly anxious to see Namjoon, too—and I left Taehyung’s room for the kitchen.

I wasn’t as dizzy, although it remained slightly, but I gripped the rail at the staircase extra tightly as I made my way down.

Heating up the French Toast was nice, and I thought about Jin the entire time, thinking about Jungkook and Namjoon when I brought the fruit out. I ate at the table, leaning my cheek against my palm as I did, and continued thinking of possible resolutions.

When I was done, I made my way into the living room, curious to see if Yoongi was awake. He was propped up on pillows with two boxes of tissues beside him, one held up to his nose as he watched TV on low.

“Hi,” I greeted.

He glanced at me. “Hello.”

“Hi.” I gestured to the couch. “Is it...I mean, is it okay if I sit?"

He confirmed, and I took a seat near him, placing a cushion on my lap.

We were quiet.

“What are you watching?” I ventured.

He patted beneath his nose, and I took note of how red it was. “I’m not sure.”

“Oh.” I nodded slowly. “It looks interesting.”

“It’s white noise.” He leaned further into the cushions, taking a strained deep breath. “I’m not paying much attention.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered. “That you don’t feel good.”

He nodded curtly. “You too.”

“I feel better,” I let him know. “My wrist, too. Just a little dizzy. And my throat.” I watched him from my peripheral vision. “How about you?”

“Nausea, nose, and a headache.”

“That’s not fun.”

“I’m sure nerve pain is worse.”

“Both aren’t fun,” I responded, shifting the pillow closer to my chest. “Both hurt.”

“Yes,” he said presently. “Both hurt.”

We went back to silence for the next ten minutes. On the eleventh minute, I braved the question, “How’s your music making?”

He rubbed his temples with a slight nod. “It’s all right.”

“Any new slow songs? Fast songs, too, if you made any.”

“Slow songs. Mostly. Yes.”

I looked at him, intrigued. “Can I hear them? I mean, not now. I heard your AC wasn’t working so I’m sure it’s stuffy, and that won’t help your congestion, but maybe when your AC is working again?”

“I…yes. My AC is broken.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Taehyung told me this morning. Not to gossip or anything, just to let me know I wouldn’t be home alone.” I laughed awkwardly. “You know.”

“Taehyung doesn’t gossip.” He pushed his hand into his hoodie pocket. “Confrontation, and/or the idea of it, makes him nervous.”

I smiled a bit. “Yeah.”

He slowly pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I don’t have my headphones with me, but would you like to listen to it…like this?”

“You have the files on your phone?”

“Yes. I do. I have them.”

“Yes, please,” I said eagerly. “I’d love to hear them.”

“All right.” He put his phone between us both and pressed play, and I breathed deeply as the melody made me sink happily into the couch.

He played a few for me, most of them containing a hint of melancholy that intertwined and comforted the sadness lingering within me.

When the last song ended, my chin wobbled as I slowly lifted my eyes to Yoongi’s. He was looking at me, gauging my reaction as he awaited my consensus, but all I had was, “It hurts.”

“Your wrist?” he asked.

“No.” I wiped my nose. “Your music.”

“Oh.” He looked at me for a moment longer before pushing his phone back into his pocket.

“More,” I asked. “Please?”

He paused, only looking at me, and I continued, “It hurts, but it’s comforting, too. Like…I’m not alone.”

Slowly, carefully, he tilted his head. “Comforting.”

“Yeah.” I sniffled. “More?”

Conscientiously, he withdrew his phone. Set it back between us. “I’m not…good with responding to sadness.”

“What?”

“My music,” he said stiffly. “It’s sad, and it evokes sadness, but I don’t know how to respond.”

“Me neither,” I admitted. “But Taehyung said it was good to cry. He said if I don’t, it’ll just make it worse because I’ll bottle it up. Maybe…crying is a good reaction to sadness.”

He nodded slowly. “You can cry.”

“I know,” I said, slightly embarrassed. “I did too much of it last night.”

“No, that’s not what…” He rubbed the side of his face. “You can cry. How?”

“Uh…I can’t stop it.” I smiled awkwardly. “It just happens when I’m embarrassed or angry or sad. Kind of…all the time, I guess.”

“I see.”

I blinked. “You don’t…cry?”

His thumb traced the outline of his phone. “I withdraw.” His eyes met mine momentarily before leaving just as quickly as they’d come. “It’s cowardly.”

“It’s not,” I refuted with furrowed brows. “Feelings are scary.”

“I’m a grown man, Faeryn. Feelings can’t be scary.”

“Feelings don’t just go away when you grow up. They stay, and…I think sometimes they can be even scarier.”

His thumb faltered its tracing. “How so?”

“We don’t have our parents with us anymore, so we’re all alone with it. Until, I mean, you find people to be with you again. But…when you’re alone until you do, it’s scary, and I think—because of what Taehyung said—crying will make it feel not as scary because afterward, you’ll feel better.”

“And if you can’t cry?”

“Maybe…well, maybe crying isn’t what you’re scared of. Maybe just all the emotions it brings.” I scratched my wrist absently, careful not to aggravate any lingering pain. “Maybe if you talk about it, it won’t feel as scary, and you’ll be able to cry.” Sheepishly, I added, “That’s what happened to me last night with Taehyung.”

“Did it lose some of its fear for you?”

“Well…no, but Taehyung made me feel safe, so I didn’t feel as scared or alone with it. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Having someone to talk to makes me feel better.”

“I see.”

“Yeah.”

He swiped his thumb over his phone screen idly. “Jin tries.”

My heart skipped at the mention of him. “What?”

“To speak to me.” He pressed play on another song. Leaned into the cushions again. “It doesn’t work.”

“Well…maybe you could bring some of the things from your room out here.”

“How come?”

“They’re in your room, and it’s safe in your room, so if you bring one of the safe things with you, maybe it’ll make you feel safe outside of your room.” I turned red. “I uh…I used the pillow from the guest room when I first came here.”

A small smile flickered in his eyes. “Yes. You did.”

“And…I bring my dinosaur figures to work.” The redness spread from my neck to my cheeks, and I whispered, “They’re not paperweights.”

“I know.”

I squeaked. “Jin said you did.”

He nodded, running his knuckles against his lip before patting it lightly. “It’s a good idea.”

“The safe thing?”

“Yes.”

We listened to the music.

“I wouldn’t have laughed at you,” he told me. “Dinosaurs are dinosaurs, paperweights or not.”

“Right.” I wiped my mouth absently to hide my relieved smile. “Thank you.”

“Can I ask why you like dinosaurs?” He paused. “And…the tube and necklace you have. I’ve never heard of them.”

“Oh.” My blush rose. “Well, for me, it’s because I have uh…” I winced into my next smile. “I’m Autistic. Dinosaurs are a special interest of mine, and chewing helps with stimulation which regulates me, so…yes.” I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Autism.”

“I didn’t know that,” he said presently.

“Yeah.” I paused before hesitantly asking, “Yoongi?”

“Yes.”

“Is it okay if I ask why you’re sad?”

His eyes remained on the TV, but his jaw locked. “There’s no reason.”

“Then…why are you sad?”

“I’m depressed, Faeryn.” He wouldn’t look away from the TV. “I have depression.”

“Oh.” I toyed with my fingers for something to do. “I’m…I’m sorry if my asking made you uncomfortable.”

He breathed deeply. Glanced at me. “The sky is blue, but it feels black.”

I blinked a few times. “What?”

“Food smells good, but my stomach won’t hold it. I used to read; I don’t read anymore. I can’t. Things that interest me don’t mean anything anymore. They’re there, and I’m stuck. In my room. And I can’t move.”

My chest ached.

“I want to be happy.” His voice was low. Tired. “But it’s slipping through my fingers. Constantly. So when Jin asks me how he can help or if I want to talk, he gets it, but he doesn’t. He can’t give me happiness, only I can find it, but I can’t find it. I don’t know where it is.

“I don’t know how you feel,” he said. “With Ryker and what he did to you, but I know how it feels to not want to talk about it because it feels like there’s no fix, and when there’s no fix, talking about it makes it worse. It reminds you how out of control and helpless you are.”

“Yeah,” I breathed out.

“Medication doesn’t help.”

“It doesn’t,” I agreed.

“I’m prescribed new doses and pills every two weeks to find what will help, but nothing is helping. Two weeks shouldn’t feel as long as they do now.”

“Does anything make it not hurt as much? Maybe not make it better, but maybe…makes you feel relief? Like music?”

“Music,” he said. “That’s it.”

“And your room?”

“It’s safe,” he confirmed slowly. “But it’s also suffocating me.”

I nodded slowly. “Maybe water will help.”

His neck ticked. “Water?”

“The ocean, maybe. My…” I faltered, considering, then continued to reveal, “My grandma struggled before she died; I think she could…I don’t know. I think she could tell she was going to die, and before she got really sick, my grandpa would take her to the beach and let her sit near the ocean.”

A smile ghosted my face. “I remember the water going up to her ankles, almost tickling her, and she wouldn’t smile at first. She would just put her hands in the water, push them into the sand, and hold on.”

He was quiet. Somber. “Did she ever smile?”

“At the end of the day, when we would leave, she would smile. I asked her once why she smiled if we were leaving, and she said, ‘“Because now there’s something I can look forward to for tomorrow’. And she would talk about the beach in the car ride back, and at dinner, and before bed, but when we went back the next morning, she was quiet in the water and didn’t smile. But she was…peaceful, and I think that made her happy.”

I took a deep breath. “I know that Autism isn’t the same for everyone, so depression can’t be the same for everyone either, but maybe water would give you a little relief.”

He looked at me, then. Neglecting whatever movie was playing. “Thank you for telling me that.”

“Yeah, I…” I managed a smile. “Yeah. Thanks for letting me.”

We didn’t talk after that, focusing on the music and the TV, and it was nice. And quiet. And safe.

꧁꧂

 

I slept through most of the day; Yoongi, too.

When the others came home, I hid most of my face in the couch cushions, my stomach curling with nervous anticipation for Jin to walk in. When he did, he looked around. First to the kitchen, then to the stairs, then to the couch, and when he saw me, he stopped looking around; he just looked at me.

He didn’t walk forward. Didn’t wave. Didn’t speak. He pushed his keys into his pocket, allowed himself to breathe, and mouthed hello.

I lifted my face slightly, and my pulse raced as I attempted to read him and his intentions.

His head slowly tilted toward the kitchen.

Gathering my courage, I slowly got to my feet and left a sleeping Yoongi on the couch as I followed Jin into the kitchen. The others made themselves scarce, going into their rooms or bathrooms to shower before dinner.

Jin opened the Chinese take-out, pulling out a few containers and two pairs of chopsticks, and his next head tilt was to the stairs.

I followed him to his room, watching as he arranged the cartons on his bed. He patted a spot near them, and I availed myself of the seat as he sat beside me.

Opening the carton, he tore open the chopsticks and handed them to me. I took them, watching as he did the same to the next pair and his carton of food.

He didn’t speak while we ate, and I was okay with it at first, too hungry to not be, but all the resolutions I’d come up with were begging to be heard, so before I could finish chewing, I asked, “Can we talk now?”

With his chopsticks halfway into his portion of rice, he said, “We can.”

“Okay,” I breathed out. “Because I’ve been thinking, and I cried with Taehyung, and I’m not good at communicating, but I want to be, so I want to communicate about the fight—I mean, argument—we had and resolve it because I don’t like fighting. Or arguing.”

“That’s what we do here; we communicate and don’t cross boundaries.” He set his chopsticks down. “And if we do, we apologize.”

“And…we don’t yell,” I tried.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, whether you yelled or not. It was a normal reaction, but what I did is something to apologize for, so I apologize.” His chest rose and fell steadily. “I needed to drop the subject, and I didn’t, and I’m sorry.”

He gently nudged my carton toward me. “Eat while we talk; you’re pale.”

My fingers grasping the chopsticks, I pushed broccoli past my lips while my pupils quivered. “I don’t like yelling. Or how I sound when I’m yelling. And I don’t want to yell at you, Jin. I like you.”

“Sometimes,” he said. “We yell at people we like.”

“Why?”

“We’re human, Faeryn. We can’t be perfect as much as we want to be.” His tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he mulled over his next words. “I won’t push you to talk about things you’re not ready for, and no one else should either. I was worried and upset, and in the future, I’ll take a step back from the conversation until I’m ready to continue it.”

I blinked at him, my lips parting around the chopsticks. “That’s…that’s great.”

“And Faeryn, if anyone crosses your boundaries, you can tell them to stop; you can stand up for yourself. I can and will take it. I was in the wrong, I wasn’t listening to you, and I needed to know.” His brows pinched together. “Thank you for communicating in the way that you could at the moment.”

I slowly inched the chopsticks out of my mouth. “Is that…what do I…” I placed the chopsticks down. “I’m not used to this.”

“I don’t want you to be accustomed to receiving apologies for this, so with everything I have in me, Faeryn, I’ll make sure this is the last time you receive one from me about this.”

I swallowed. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for the opportunity to apologize.”

Flustered, I shook my head. “I don’t—I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” His knuckles tapped the container. “You can eat.”

Hesitantly, I grabbed the container and inched closer to him. “Can I eat next to you?”

“You can.”

“Okay.” I began to eat again, but I thought against it and pushed as close to him as I could until my head was resting on his shoulder. Then, I resumed eating.

He ate with me, and with each bite, I relaxed more.

“Jin?” I said when my carton was half empty.

“Faeryn.”

“I think I know what to say now.”

“I’m listening.”

I pushed my chopsticks into his food, lifted a piece of chicken, and put it to his lips until he opened his mouth, and when he chewed, I said quietly, “I forgive you.”

His eyes softened. “Thank you.”

“And…I’m going to try to communicate better. Taehyung and I talked, and I know I can’t keep everything bottled up forever. It’ll just…pop maybe. If I don’t talk about it. It’s just scary to talk about.”

“Thank you for trying,” he murmured. “I know it scares you.”

“I don’t want Ryker to scare me anymore.” I stared at a piece of broccoli. “He’s not even here anymore, and I’m still so…scared of him.”

I inhaled shakily as I lifted my eyes to his. “I…I’m going to try to communicate right now.”

He dipped his chin. “I’m listening.”

“The…okay. So the reason…so I’m…” My breath caught, and I looked away again. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

I didn’t apologize; I didn’t say anything at all.

Presently, he held his hand out, palm up. I took it and squeezed tightly. Repeatedly. And finally, an inkling of courage pushed me to continue.

“The reason that I don’t want to to the doctor is…it’s because I have hope right now that it can be fixed, but what if I go to the doctor and they do their tests and tell me that the pain can’t be reversed? Because if they do, my hope is gone, and that will mean Ryker took it from me just like he took everything else."

I squeezed his hand tighter than before. “Hope is all I had; I don’t want him to take it from me, too.”

He squeezed my hand right as I felt the tension flood his form, and I looked at his face to see the anger written into it.

“Jin,” I tried.

“Give me a minute.”

I swallowed. “Okay.”

He tapped my container, and taking the hint, I ate my food while he reeled himself back in. It took him around two minutes to gather his thoughts and anger enough to tell me, “Firstly, thank you for communicating with me.”

I managed a nod before he continued, “I can’t and won’t tell you what to do, but I can be there for you if you decide to visit the doctor. Nerve damage can be helped if they find the source, and if you’re afraid of losing hope, Faeryn, you can put your hope into something else. He’s gone, and he can leave pain in his wake, but you can wake from it; you can push forward and heal, and the doctors can help. Medication is a band-aid; not talking about it is a band-aid; clinging to hope is hope itself, and if you can hope once, you can hope again—perhaps for something different this time.”

“Different?” I whispered.

“You can hope for Chinese take-out. For good dreams. For a new episode of your favorite show or a new idea for a crochet piece, or the release of a video game you enjoy. Hope is everywhere, Faeryn; he can’t take that from you.”

Emotion clogged my senses. “I hoped for so long.”

“And hoping brought you here; somewhere void of him. Let it take you to the doctor; let it keep helping you.”

“I’ll…okay.” I nodded slowly. Unsure. “I’ll just think about it. Is…is that okay?”

“It’s your choice to make; you can take as much time as you need.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “I will; I’ll think about it.”

He kissed my forehead, breathing into it, “Thank you.”

I hugged him, gripping my chopsticks tightly so they wouldn’t fall. “Are we still in a fight?”

“No.” I felt him take a deep breath. “We’re not.”

I exhaled my relief. “That’s good. I don’t like being in a fight with you.”

“I don’t enjoy it either.” He kissed the top of my head, holding me close. “I missed you at breakfast.”

“I missed you too, but not for long.”

“No?”

“I fell asleep after everyone left and had dreams about how to fix our fight, and then I woke up and had the French Toast you made, so I had that to keep me from missing you too much. But…after lunch, I missed you and just wanted to fix everything.”

“You didn’t have anything to fix.”

I squeezed him as tightly as I could. “I missed you.”

He rubbed my back. “I missed you.” When I leaned back, his thumb swiped along my cheek for a gentle caress. “Would you like to play a game with me?”

My features lit up. “Really?”

“Yes, but the controller’s in my closet.”

I was off the bed and hurrying toward his closet without another word, earning a chuckle from him.

I giggled my excitement, wondering as I opened the closet, “Why is it in here—oh my gosh.” I clamped my hand over my mouth, clutching the doorknob tightly as I made eye contact with Bartholomew.

“Mr. Stuffins,” I breathed out. “You’re alive.”

Memories of Ryker throwing him away because he claimed I needed to grow up rushed through, and I gripped the doorknob for comfort.

But this was a new Mr. Stuffins. And Jin bought it—for me. He didn’t think I was childish because I liked teddy bears or crocheting stuffed animals or watching animated TV shows. He just thought I was Faeryn, and he was okay with that.

I relinquished the doorknob and sat down, staring at Mr. Stuffins before launching myself at him and tugging him into my arms.

He felt as comforting as he had, and my eyes welled with tears. But they were hopeful ones. Hope that finally, I was understood and that even when I had my own apartment, I had people who understood and cared about me. Liked me, even. Liked me enough to remember that I had a bear named Bartholomew and where to buy him.

I scrambled to my feet, clinging tightly to Mr. Stuffins, and with my blurry vision, I walked back to Jin.

“Look,” I whispered. “Mr. Stuffins.”

When I was close enough to the bed, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me and Mr. Stuffins.

I sniffled against his shoulder as the tears fell. “You got him a cool jacket.”

“I did.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He held the back of my head. “I thought you might like it.”

“I love it. So, so much.” I pulled away to show it to him, wiping my eyes as I did. “Look at his little jacket. Do you see how adorable he looks?” I hugged the bear tightly. “He’s adorable.”

“He is.”

“Thank you.” I sat back against the headboard, placing the bear between us. “He’ll watch us play—” I paused. “Wait. Does this mean we’re not playing games because the controller wasn’t in your closet?”

He smiled. “We’ll play games.”

I beamed. “Then Mr. Stuffins will stay right here and watch us.”

“All right. He can.”

I smiled brightly. “Yeah.”

“The remotes are in my drawer.”

I left the bear with Jin, gasping when I pulled open the drawer to find a yellow remote. “When did you get this? It’s so pretty!”

I heard his smile before I turned to see it. “It’s for you.”

“Both? Mr. Stuffins and this? Jin, that’s—”

“Not enough, but it will do for tonight.”

“Not enough?” I gaped at him. “This is the best.”

“Faeryn, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll give you whatever you want. Anything, and it’s yours.”

“That’s…Jin, that’s…”

“Anything, Faeryn.”

“I just want…you. And everyone in this house. And I want you all to stay.”

His features softened. “You don’t have to ask for that.”

“I…I don’t?”

“No,” he murmured. “We’re not going anywhere.”

I returned to the bed, making his lips inch a smile when I covered the bear’s eyes before kissing him.

꧁꧂

 

Jimin surprised me with a Jellycat bunny in the morning, one he’d bought while running errands with Jin and the others the day before yesterday, and I was elated with my two new treasures.

I still wasn’t one hundred percent from wrist pain or my sickness, and neither was Yoongi, so we stayed home again.

On the couch together as we were yesterday, he and I only half-watched re-runs of movies as we listened to his music from his phone.

I held Mr. Stuffins and the bunny—donned Bunny by Jungkook—and rested my cheek against a couch cushion while Yoongi rested his cheek against his bedroom pillow.

After a while, wondering if I could make him smile while he sneezed every so often, I made my bunny dance a bit. Just a few motions with her arms, and familiar with Yoongi’s song after hearing it so much, I made her hum along.

I paused, making my eyes widen. “Yoongi.”

He regarded me and the bunny. “Yes.”

“Did you hear that? She knows your song.” I made her hum again before pausing abruptly. “Did you hear her that time?”

“I…did.”

“Someone must’ve leaked your unreleased songs for her to know them, but don’t worry.” I picked up Mr. Stuffins. “He trained to be an undercover cop. A good one, though, so he’ll solve this.”

I made Mr. Stuffins stomp over to bunny and body slam her onto the couch, making Yoongi’s eyes flicker to follow the action.

“Maybe not a good cop,” I said in fake horror, pulling the bear back. “Mr. Stuffins, you brute!”

I cradled the bunny, patting her ears to console her. “It’s okay. You committed a crime, but Mr. Stuffins just committed one too, so you’re off the hook.”

I shook my head. “You both need to communicate and hug it out.” I made them both argue, then sit side by side. “Talk it out or no more dancing for either of you.”

I acted out a fight between them before, finally, they hugged it out and went back to dancing. The bunny performed a nice flip, and Mr. Stuffins did something weird with his hips that made me sit him back down. When I looked at Yoongi, he wore a small smile.

“Well,” I summarized. “At least they stopped fighting.”

“Oh, Mr. Stuffins,” I made Bunny say. “Your jacket looks so nice.”

I pushed out a lower voice for Mr. Stuffins. “Your ears are so pretty.”

“Oh no.” I shoved them away from each other, giving the bunny to Yoongi. “They’re enemies to lovers.”

Yoongi looked down at the bunny, tracing her floppy ears reflexively before glancing at me. “Enemies to lovers?”

“He was a cop, she was a bunny ballerina. You know.” I paused. “Or…wait. Is that how that goes? I haven’t read a lot of enemy-to-lover books.” I smiled sheepishly. “They stress me out.”

“He was a punk, she did ballet.” He looked back at the bunny. “Also a lyric from an Avril Lavigne song.”

“Ohhh.” I nodded. “Right. Well…they can’t be enemies to lovers. Mr. Stuffins is, like, fifty, and she’s still in her thirties.”

His brows wavered. “She doesn’t look…a day over twenty.”

I laughed a little. “Right. Oh, look; she’s blushing. See? Right there.” I arranged Mr. Stuffins arms into a crossed-armed position to convey his jealousy. “Someone’s not happy about that.” I poked his stomach. “Be nice.”

“No,” I made him say. “If I don’t get Bunny, no one does.”

I tried to make him take Bunny away from Yoongi, and Yoongi began to let her go, but I insisted, “You can’t let him take her.”

He hesitated before tightening his grip, and when I pulled too hard, I fell back a bit, starting to laugh.

Yoongi’s lips parted to speak, but his nose wrinkled, and he sneezed instead, shielding it with his arm. Pushing his forehead to the couch, he took a deep breath and sneezed again. A few more squeezed their way out of him, and once they ran their course, his shoulders slumped.

“That was a lot of sneezes.” I used Mr. Stuffin’s hands to pat Yoongi’s arm. “Sneezes are tiring.”

He took note of my actions, then of me. “Yes.”

“Maybe you should hang onto Bunny.”

“Why should I hang onto…is that her name? Bunny?”

I half-smiled. “Jungkook named her.”

“Well. Yes. I can see why he named her Bunny.”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “Because she’s a bunny.

“It’s a sensible name.”

“Realistic.”

“Yes. Realistic.”

He held the bunny out to me, but I offered, “You should hold onto her.”

“…Why?”

“Because her ears flop when you sneeze, and it’s funny.”

He carefully readjusted the bunny’s ears, and I watched as a miniature smile crept onto his face.

“Are you hungry?” I wondered. “I can make lunch. Jin’s been teaching me how to cook, you know.”

“You don’t have to cook me anything. I’m all right.”

“Well, I know, but…” I paused, recalling the words the others told me so often. “I want to.”

“I’m not hungry, Faeryn, but thank you.”

“Okay, but do you want something to drink? Something warm…like tea? Tea’s awesome. It makes your stomach nice and warm.”

“Well. I…yes. I suppose that’s fine.”

“Great!” I patted Mr. Stuffins head as I stood. “I’ll make us tea.”

I worked in the kitchen making tea for us and lunch for me, a grilled cheese sandwich, and once I’d returned to the living room, Yoongi was falling asleep, and the bunny was now near his chest.

He thanked me as he accepted the tea, and we sat with our knees nearly touching—but not quite—as we drank.

“I’m tired,” he said after the first five sips. “Is it all right if I finish this later?”

“Of course it’s all right,” I said quickly, standing and taking it from him. “It can be like iced tea, or we could just reheat it. Whatever you want!” I set it down on the coffee table. “There. Now you can sleep.”

He tried, again, to return the bunny to me, but I refused, insisting, “Keep her; she looks like a nice cuddle buddy.”

“She belongs to you,” he countered, his brows easing as he drifted closer to sleep.

“I like sharing.”

He didn’t say much else and fell asleep quickly, and his grip on the bunny slowly loosened until soft snores left him.

I smiled to myself, deciding to take Namjoon up on his offer from a while ago and choose one of his books to read. Settling back on the couch with my tea, book, Mr. Stuffins, and Yoongi sleeping beside me, I sighed contentedly as I relaxed.

꧁꧂

 

 

 

Notes:

Yay!!! Some more Yoongi and Faeryn time <33 This was more of a short chapter compared to the longggg chapters I've been posting :') Do we like the longer or shorter chapters? Maybe somewhere in between? My longer chapters tend to be near the 9K-10K word mark, and I feel like that may be too much, but what do you all think?? If you like it like that, I'll keep it at longer chapters; just let me know!! I'll also be posting a short chapter on Friday at 2 PM EST hehe so look out for that <33

I loved writing Jin and Faeryn talk through their little argument :((( I also loved showing Faeryn having an in-depth conversation with Yoongi about depression, her grandparents, and the ocean. It showed a calmer/different side of her. UGHHH I just love writing this book so much 😔 I hope you all like the slow build-up of Yoongi's character; he means so much to me RAHHHHHHHHHHH YOONGI NATION RISE!!!

hehe see you all in the comments! <33

Chapter 16: Sex in The Car

Summary:

On the way to Faeryn's new apartment, things get steamy in the back of Jin's car.

Once at Faeryn's new apartment, there is an unexpected turn of events.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

When the weekend arrived, most of us had been sick and recovered, but Jimin and Jungkook were the lucky ones and never got affected.

I'd just finished packing the guest room for my new apartment Lyric helped me find during the week, and it was a steal; much less than I'd paid for my apartment with Ryker. The apartment complex was able to take me on quickly, and I had plenty saved up for a down payment and first month's rent.

Everyone was helping me move—Lyric had come over, and Yoongi had left his room.

"You ready?" Lyric asked from the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips as she squinted at me through her heart-shaped sunglasses. "We put everything else in the car."

"Yeah," I agreed, not getting a chance to protest when Taehyung took the box from me with a quick kiss to my head on his way to the car.

Lyric wiggled her brows as she linked arms with me and tugged me after her and him.

"Are we ready?" Namjoon asked as the three of us stepped outside where everyone was waiting.

"Ready," Lyric chirped, earning a squeak of surprise from me when she pushed me toward Namjoon.

He caught me easily, taking me by my forearms to steady me. When he was sure I was stable, he sent a look over my head at Lyric, followed by a faux innocent, "What?" in return.

She was scheming; she teased me while I packed up the guest room and during her texts before she arrived. She said she saw tension between all of us, sexual tension, and I was sure I couldn't grow any redder than I had today already.

Namjoon guided me to the car, seated me between him and Jimin, and closed the door when Lyric tried to join us.

"Namjoon," I protested.

He kissed the side of my forehead. "Hm?"

"Lyric," I insisted, pointing at her from where she was flipping him off and being guided to another car by Hoseok, but she was smirking like she knew Namjoon was prodding his lips against mine while Jimin rubbed my inner thigh.

"Lyric," he told me, "is scheming."

"You—you know?"

"She smirks whenever she looks at us and just shoved you toward me so I would catch you." He mouthed against my cheek, "She can go in another car."

Jimin spread my right thigh as Namjoon spread the other, and my breath caught as they patted either one.

"Shh," Namjoon murmured, lifting his hand to cup between my thighs. "You're not with Lyric now; you're with us. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," I managed, lifting my hips to grind against his hand. "It's okay."

"Mhm." He patted against my core lightly, making me whimper. "Shh. You don't want me to stop, do you?"

"No," I insisted. "I can be quiet; I can."

"Good," he mused, caressing me through my pants. "I'm sure you wouldn't want Lyric to know her scheming paid off."

Jin opened the driver's seat door, closing it as he sat and put the keys in the ignition. Fixing the rearview mirror, he caught sight of my flushed features and looked over his shoulder. He took in Namjoon's hand placement and Jimin's constant caress on my inner thigh and slowly arched a brow.

"I have to be quiet," I told him in a whisper.

"Who told you to be quiet?" he asked, eyeing Namjoon knowingly.

"Namjoon," I said before I had to bite my tongue to keep a whimper from leaving when Namjoon patted me again.

"Why are you telling her to keep quiet?" Jin asked, his eyes returning to watch me begin to squirm.

"Because," Namjoon drawled, a small taunt in his words. "Lyric might hear."

As if on cue, Lyric waved as she boarded Hoseok's car with the others.

"She's in the car," I insisted. "She can't hear me now."

"But what if she can?" Namjoon pushed his bottom lip out mockingly. "What if she teases you even more?"

"She won't," I returned, more of a plead. "Jin, tell him."

Jin and I locked eyes, and lowly, he instructed, "You can be loud, Faeryn."

I was triumphant until Namjoon pulled his hand away.

"Namjoon," I protested.

"You can listen to Jin," he mused. "But he's not the one touching you, is he?"

"Okay," I conceded quickly. Desperately. "I'll be quiet; I will, I promise, just touch me, please?"

Jimin put his hand where Namjoon's had been, and I gasped, grinding against it eagerly.

Namjoon sent him a look. "How mature of you."

"Her moans are beautiful," Jimin returned smugly as he trailed kisses along my neck. "And if you won't touch her, she can be as loud as she wants with me while I do."

"Thank you, thank you," I breathed out, whining frantically when Namjoon pushed Jimin's hand enough for him to join caressing me. "Oh, it's—thank you."

"Lyric's looking over here," Namjoon warned.

"No," I squeaked, clamping a hand over my mouth. "Namjoon, don't let her, don't—"

As Namjoon's low laughter filled the car, Jimin chuckled into a reassuring kiss, telling me, "He's teasing you, honey. The others are backing out of the driveway."

"Jin," I panted when Jimin's lips met mine. "Namjoon's being mean."

"I can hear him," was Jin's response as he put the car in reverse. "Namjoon, however, has told me how much you like when he's a little mean. Do you want him to stop?"

"Hm, Faeryn?" Namjoon's teeth lightly grazed my neck. "Do you want me to stop?"

Changing tactics as we entered the main roads, I moaned against Namjoon's lips, "Jin."

Namjoon chuckled, strained. "Faeryn."

"Jin," I whined. "I need you."

"Are you not satisfied with Namjoon?" Jin responded, catching my eye through the review mirror. "Is he not taking care of you?"

Namjoon's hand was around my throat in seconds, applying enough pressure to make my eyes flutter contentedly.

"He's taking care of her," Namjoon responded, his eyes dark as they looked into mine. "Isn't that right, Faeryn? Tell Jin who's taking care of you."

As Jimin slipped his hand past my shorts and panties, I gasped, "Jimin."

"Ah." Jin made made a right turn. "Namjoon isn't taking care of you, then."

Namjoon tugged my bottom lip into his mouth. "Is this how you're feeling today? Hm? You're not going to be sweet for me?"

"For Jimin," I managed, feeling excitement swirl in my stomach when his eyes flashed. "I'll be good for him."

The sly smile in Jimin's voice was prominent. "And you are being so good for me, honey, aren't you? Just grinding nice and pretty against my hand."

"Yeah." I nodded quickly, pushing my lip downward. "Namjoon was being mean to me and wouldn't let me, but you will, right?"

"That's right," Jimin crooned, inserting his index and middle finger into me and making my back arch with pleasure. "I'll finish what Namjoon couldn't start. It's what you deserve, isn't it? Always so sweet."

"Thank you," I mewled, moaning when Namjoon's grip on my throat tightened and furthered my pleasure.

"Very good, Faeryn." Jin's low praise caused me to see stars. "Tell Jimin how much you enjoy him."

"So much," I whimpered, pushing myself further onto his fingers. "And I—I like his fingers, but I want him to put me on his lap now."

"Ask Jimin for permission."

"Jimin," I began imploringly, my eyes struggling to stay open from the onslaught of pleasure. "Can I bounce on your lap?"

"Did you want to bounce on my lap"—his fingers curled within me, making my hips stutter—"or somewhere else?"

"On your cock," I begged. "Please?"

"In the car? Oh, honey." His tongue met the roof of his mouth. "What if someone sees?"

"The windows are tinted," I panted. "Right?"

"What if they're not?"

I hesitated, whining when he withdrew his fingers. "Jimin, Jimin, please. I need you."

Namjoon angled my face to his, pressing his fingers firmly against my throat. "And here I was under the impression you needed Jin."

"I do," I insisted. "Need them both."

"Am I out of the equation? Oh, that's a shame." He sighed, shaking his head as he released me. I missed his touch immediately. "It's all right, I suppose. I'll just have to let Jungkook know you don't want to join him and I anymore."

"What?" I squeaked. "No, I—I want to. Namjoon, please, I—"

I was cut off by Jimin unbuckling me and lifting me onto his lap, surprising me when he eased his cock into me.

"Jimin." I held onto his shoulders tightly, desperately beginning to bounce while I tried to look at Namjoon.

"Shh." Jimin squeezed my waist, grasping my jaw to keep my eyes on him. "If Namjoon won't let you join them, we'll see about inviting Jungkook to join us, hm?"

I moaned, whining, "But I want Namjoon to be there, too. Please? Can he?"

"I'm out of the equation, per your decision," Namjoon responded, although his attention was mine; he wouldn't look away from every bounce that caused me to sink further onto Jimin's cock. "Are you regretting your decision, Faeryn?"

I whined in response, getting lost in moans and whimpers as Jimin used my waist to bring him down to meet his thrusts. "Namjoon, please, I—oh, Jimin, harder, please? Please, can—oh, thank you, thank you—"

"You're not asking properly, and you expect me to what, Faeryn? Change the decision you made?"

"Namjoon," I protested. "I just wanted you to touch me, but you didn't, and it wasn't fair, and now Jimin's—he's—and I can feel him everywhere, and I—" My head fell back as the pleasure heightened, and my lips parted, unable to close. "More, more, more—"

"That's how she should've sounded with you," Jin noted to Namjoon. "Are you regretting your decision to make her stay quiet, Namjoon?"

"No," Namjoon said with another sigh. "She'll be in her apartment tonight, and I'll be with Jungkook. Sweet, pretty Jungkook who's so polite and listens so well."

"Not fair," I managed indignantly. "Namjoon, no, I—I want to be with you both."

"If you listened as well as he did, you could've been with us, but I'm sure Jimin will keep you occupied."

"Poor thing," Jimin said when my features scrunched up with a mixture of pleasure and regret. "Oh, poor baby. Namjoon's just being so mean, huh?"

I nodded as my eyes filled, the mix of pleasure and denial making heat thrum in my chest and coil in my stomach. "Yeah, and I—I just want Namjoon to want me."

"He does want you," Jimin assured me, patting my waist reassuringly as I squeezed around him. "He's toying with you, honey; it's what he does."

"Don't want him to anymore," I begged, my breath hitching when my orgasm tickled my stomach. "I want him to have sex with me, too, and I—I want to be with him and Jungkook and watch and maybe join, too, please."

"He doesn't think you're ready," Jimin told me, pushing his hand beneath my shirt to cup my breasts. "He wants to work you up to sex, isn't that right?"

"Yeah," I whined, grasping his shirt as I ground desperately on his cock. "But I want him now."

"And I want you to be polite," Namjoon cut in demurely. "But if you can't, Faeryn—if you've forgotten how to be—I can remind you."

"How?" I stammered, arousal racing through me and speeding up my approaching orgasm.

"You can ask Jungkook; ask him what happens when he acts up."

"Does he get punished?" I asked, strained at the thought. Wondering if Namjoon put him over his lap, pulled down his pants and let his hand rain down multiple slaps in retribution—

I moaned at the image, quickening the pace of my hips movements. "I—I want to see."

"I didn't confirm nor deny," Namjoon said, amused. "Do you want him to be punished? Oh, Faeryn. That's not very nice of you. What would Jungkook think? I'm sure his feelings would be hurt; poor thing. He thinks you're so nice, but here you are wanting to see me punish him."

He clicked his tongue. "And yet, according to you, I'm being mean."

"That's—no, I just—" I panicked when my orgasm washed over me, and frantic, I tried to explain while unsteady moans left me.

"The idea of Jungkook being punished is enough to bring on an orgasm?" Namjoon whistled lowly. "How very mean of you."

"No, no, I—" I gasped when Jimin pulled out and came against my back, his mouth close to my ear as his low groans filled them.

"Don't listen to him," he rasped, kissing my earlobe as he thrust against my back. "You were so good for me; you always are, and so sweet."

Jin opened the glove compartment and pulled out a rag and water bottle, tossing it to Namjoon.

Namjoon placed them near Jimin. "I don't clean up messes I don't make."

"I'm..." My lower lip trembled. "I'm not a mess."

"You made a mess," Namjoon returned with an arched brow. "All over his cock while you thought of how I would punish Jungkook."

"I'm not mean."

"Mhm."

I gaped at him before furrowing my brows and pushing my face in Jimin's neck, mumbling into it, "You made me feel better than Namjoon would have."

Jimin chest rumbled with low laughter while Namjoon laughed shortly and said, "Keep it up; see where it gets you."

"It will get her more of me," Jimin kissed the top of my head. "Isn't that right, hm? More of me?"

"Yes, please." I kissed his neck fervently. "My Jimin."

"Your Jimin," he agreed, the smile audible in his voice. "All for you."

"All for me," I mewled, giddy when Namjoon grunted in response.

"Hm." Jimin lifted my face for a kiss. "Namjoon's found his match, hasn't he?"

Pleased, I confirmed haughtily, "Yeah."

"Uh-huh," Namjoon said drily. "Clean her up before your cum sticks on her back. You wouldn't want Lyric to know Jimin fucked you while you let Jin and I watch, would you?"

I blushed, re-hiding my face in Jimin's neck while he chuckled and grabbed the water and rag.

"Don't worry." Jimin worked the rag along my back where he'd pulled my shirt up after dampening it with water. "I'm taking care of you; I've got you right here on my lap, nice and safe, hm?"

I preened, nodding as I clung to him.

Once we arrived at my new apartment complex, I was cleaned, sated, and giggling whilst teasing Namjoon every so often, blushing when he'd click his tongue in faux disappointment and tell me how mean I was.

I blushed when I stepped out of the car and saw Jungkook unloading the car with the others, my mind circulating possible punishment situations with him and Namjoon, and my blush only heightened when Namjoon squeezed my ass and nudged me forward.

Unpacking didn't take long, I didn't have much, and once it was done, we all stood in my small apartment. It was just me, my few boxes, a kitchen, a bathroom, and my room. Any semblance of a living room was a part of the kitchen, so there was no room for a couch—not that I had one—but I could buy a beanbag. I used to have one when I was a kid, and there was room next to the fridge.

"Welcome to my apartment," I told everyone. "Do you like it?" I wrapped my arms around myself. "It's all mine. No roommates or..." Ryker. "Just me."

Namjoon tilted his head, and any teasing from before dissipated. "It's very nice."

"And my—you know, my air mattress looks comfy."

"Your new bed will be here tomorrow." He watched me shuffle from foot-to-foot. "You have your blankets and pillows, and Netflix on your phone for your shows."

"What...what will I do for dinner?" I chewed on my lip as I glanced at the box of food they bought for me. "Potatoes?"

"Whatever you'd like," Jin told me, watching me as closely as Namjoon was. "But yes. Potatoes are an option."

"What...okay, but what will I do when I brush my teeth?" I clung to myself. "Jungkook won't be there, and we won't watch TMNT together. How will I know if he follows his schedule and—well, what about watching videos with Jimin on his phone? And Hoseok comes into my room to say goodnight, but he won't be here, and when I go to the bathroom, I can hear you on your computer playing games, Jin, and what about crocheting with Taehyung?"

I inhaled sharply, wringing my hands out. "He's so close to making his Pokémon army, and I—I won't be able to tell Yoongi goodnight or ask if I can listen to my favorite song in his room, and Namjoon—we started reading a book together before I go to sleep, and now I won't be able to read it with him, so I—"

My pupils quivered as my chin began to wobble. "I can't read it anymore, and there won't be any light under the door from his room when I'm sleeping; it'll be too dark in here, and I—"

My breath caught, and abruptly, my eyes filled with tears. "I'll be all alone."

"No, Faeryn, no," Taehyung was quick to reassure me, his brows furrowed as he approached me and put his hands on my shoulders. "You're not alone, and if it's too dark, you can keep the lights on, okay?"

"But it won't be Namjoon's light," I stressed. "It'll be mine, and that means Namjoon won't be here; none of you will be here."

Lyric's brows raised as she looked at all of us, and pivoting on her heel, she announced, "This seems like a private discussion, so I'm going to wait in the car. Fae," she prompted. "Text me if you need me to come back in."

Hoseok unlocked the car for her, and she took one last look at the scene before closing the door behind her as she left.

As soon as she did, my tears fell, and all seven of the men I'd grown so close in the last three months crowded around me.

"Don't go," I pleaded. "Don't—don't leave me."

"We're not leaving you," Jin spoke firmly. "We brought you here because this is your apartment; this is your new home."

I shook my head furiously. "It's not my home."

"Faeryn."

"It's not," I insisted wildly. "It's just an apartment."

"You'll make it your home," Taehyung assured me quickly, his eyes flitting from each of mine. "We can set up your crochet projects and buy decorations, and when your bed gets here tomorrow, it'll feel more like a home."

"No, it won't," I refuted as my heart ached and pulled in my chest. "Because none of you will be here, and I'll be by myself; that's not home. It's just me, just like it was when I was with Ryker; all alone."

"No," Jimin denied. "Honey, no. You weren't safe with Ryker, and you didn't know us back then, but now you do, and now you have an apartment safe away from him. We talked about this; this is what you've been saving up for. This is what you wanted."

"I know," I whispered, my vision blurred. "I—I know, but it doesn't feel like I thought it would. It feels...it feels scary and lonely."

"Faeryn, honey," he said, his forehead creasing at the sight of my quickening tears. "I know it might feel that way, but new things usually do. That doesn't make it wrong."

"It might...it might feel scarier because you're off of your routine, too," Jungkook offered with wide eyes as he watched tears roll down my cheeks. "It will feel better once you make a new routine, right?"

"I don't want a new routine," I cried. "I just want all of you."

"Oh, Faeryn." Taehyung pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. "We're still here; we're one phone call and text away."

"But you're not one room away," I managed, clinging to him in case he would let me go and return to his home—away from me. "And I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you." He kissed the top of my head repeatedly as he tightened his grip on me. "I'll text you all the time, and we'll see each other at work every day, plus Namjoon said you'd be over every night, right?"

"It's not the same," I persisted, my body sagging in defeat. "It feels like I'm—it feels like I'm being left alone again."

"Again?" Hoseok asked, concerned. "Sweetheart, can you explain that to us?"

"My—my parents left and so did my grandparents, and I know it's stupid because they died and you're not dead, but I feel like that, and I'm so—" I choked a bit. "I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be exciting, but I just feel scared."

"It's okay, it's okay," Taehyung consoled while Jimin empathized, "I know it feels like you're being left alone, especially after everything you've been through, but this is different, okay? We're all here, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but—"

"We brought you here, and we're standing here with you talking about future plans to see you; to take you back to our house and be with you. Does that sound like we're leaving you alone?"

"No," I stammered. "But it feels like it."

"I know, but feelings can be misleading sometimes, and right now, you're clinging to pattern recognition and it's steering you wrong. Does that make sense, honey?"

I wiped my eyes, embarrassed as his words began to resonate with me. "Yes, Jimin. I'm sorry."

"No, honey, no. Don't apologize to me." He patted Taehyung's back, a signal for him to move back, and once the latter had, Jimin pulled me into his arms. "I'm just explaining so we can make you feel better and stop these tears. Yeah?"

I sniffled, unwilling to let him go. "Yeah."

He caressed the back of my head, and a second passed before Yoongi cleared his throat.

I peeked over at him, blinking away my tears to view him. He stood in one of his comfy sweaters, his hands in his pockets as he looked back at me.

Presently, he suggested, "Let's take her back."

"What?" the others rose in question.

"Home," he elaborated. "Let's take her back home."

"Home?" Jungkook echoed, confused. "But...this is her new apartment."

"It doesn't feel that way," Yoongi returned. "Not yet." Everyone nodded slowly as they took in his words. "We can try again when her bed arrives tomorrow." He dipped his chin, his eyes never leaving mine. "Right, Faeryn?"

Relief and appreciation flooded through me, and holding onto Jimin rigidly, I breathed out, "Right."

"Okay." Yoongi nodded curtly. "Then let's go home."

"Home?" I asked hopefully.

"Home," he confirmed.

Instinctively, I looked to Jin for the final say, and he motioned me forward with a flick of his fingers.

Jimin caught the motion and gently nudged me toward him, and once in front of Jin, he lowered himself to me. Cupping my face in my hands, he told me lowly, "We'll make potatoes."

"Potatoes?" Hope laced my tone. "I can help?"

"You can help." He passed his hand through my hair before pulling me into his side. "And we'll try again tomorrow."

"Thank you," I rasped, quickly turning to look at Yoongi. "Thank you."

Yoongi nodded. "It will be all right."

My eyes burned. "I want it to be."

"It will be," he decided resolutely. "It might take time, perhaps two weeks, but no matter how long two weeks may feel, they always come to an end, and there must be another side of them." His tone was firm and unyielding, but still, he looked at me for agreement.

My emotion heightened, and I choked back more threatening tears as his words echoed our previous conversation.

"There's another side of them," I agreed. "And maybe...maybe my ocean is being with all of you. That's—that's what it is for me."

"Okay," he murmured, his throat tightening as he held eye contact with me. "Let's go there."

I began to agree before I faltered, looking back up at Jin. "Is...it's okay? You won't be mad because I was supposed to stay here tonight?"

"I won't be mad." He gently swiped his thumb along my cheek. "None of us are."

"It's okay if you are," I said, gnawing my lip anxiously. "I can stay here if you are, okay? You can tell me; I can take it."

"We aren't mad, Faeryn." He cupped the side of my face. "We communicate. Yes? Communication doesn't include lying."

"Okay," I breathed out, grateful and relieved. "And I'll come back tomorrow, I promise. I just—I got so scared, and-"

"I know." He kissed my forehead before taking my hand. "You don't have to explain." He gently tugged me along, grabbing my apartment keys from my pocket to lock the doors behind us.

Everyone else followed, and when we returned downstairs, Lyric was waiting, leaning against Hoseok's car and scrolling through her phone. She looked up when she heard us, noted Jin's and my intertwined hands, and looked at me questioningly.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. "Did we forget something at their house?"

"Everything's fine," Namjoon responded evenly. "She's staying with us tonight."

"Why?" she pressed. "Is something wrong with her apartment?" She lifted her brows, her eyes on mine. "Fae?"

"It's okay," I managed, clutching Jin's hand for solace. "It's just..." I sniffled. "My bed isn't here yet, and I wanted to help Jin make potatoes for dinner, and..." I squared my shoulders back and took a deep breath as best as I could. "They said I could sleep at home until my bed comes here."

"Home," she repeated slowly, taking us all in again; one by one. "Mhm..." She pushed herself off of the car to stand. "Well, you all seem to have this covered—and this seems to be a very personal issue."

She sent me a knowing look. "Very personal."

I flushed. "Thank you for coming to help with the boxes."

"Anything, anytime. I mean that, Fae."

"Me too," I told her earnestly. "If you ever need to move, I can help."

She walked over, hugging me while I kept a steady hold on Jin's hand. "Try to relax. They all seem to uh...take good care of you." Whispering into my ear, she added, "Very good care."

My blush grew, and with another tight squeeze from her, she released me.

"I'll see you at work, okay?" She put her hands on her hips, pointing to Hoseok. "You; drive me home. And you"—she pointed at Jungkook—"show me more cat and dog videos on the way back. They're insanely adorable. Seriously." She quirked a brow at me. "Have you seen them?"

A genuine smile filled my face. "They're the best."

"Right?" she agreed, waving Jungkook over. "Come on; I'm having withdrawals from them already."

Jungkook looked put on the spot but excited to share his interest, and when Namjoon squeezed his shoulder, it was enough for him to walk to Lyric. As she entered the car, Jungkook hesitated and turned, surprising me when he came straight for me. Pulling me into a hug, he squeezed me harder than he ever had.

"I don't like it when you cry," he whispered, his low tones reaching our ears only. "And tonight, we'll watch TMNT so you won't cry. Okay?"

I squeezed my eyes shut as I hugged him back. "Okay."

"Okay," he agreed. "And when we get home, I'll kiss you—if that's okay. Lyric's here, and we can't really—you know." When he pulled back, he was blushing. "Okay?"

I nodded, showing a watery smile. "I can't wait."

His blush grew, and with a parting wave, he hurried to the car. Hoseok offered a soft smile to me, mouthing, "Okay?" as he began to walk to his car.

When I confirmed with a nod, he did the same in return, motioning Taehyung and Yoongi to follow after him.

"I'll see you at home," Taehyung told me. "Okay? We'll crochet after dinner."

"Thank you," I said, relieved. "I really want to."

"Me too," he agreed, grudgingly walking backward to Hoseok's car. "At home, okay?"

"Okay," I confirmed.

Yoongi pushed his hands into his hoodie's pockets. "I would like to be in Jin's car."

Jin lifted his other hand to my back. "You can."

In the car, Yoongi took the seat beside me before Jimin could, and the latter sat in shotgun after squeezing my hand reassuringly.

Between Yoongi and Namjoon in the back, I started to relax, finding it easier when Namjoon rubbed comfort into my inner thigh and squeezed every so often.

The side of Yoongi's knee rested against mine, and as Jin drove us back home, Yoongi carefully placed an earphone in my ear. Surprised, I turn to him, settling into my seat when my favorite song of his began to play. Maybe that was a part of my ocean, too.

Notes:

Fluff, smut, and angst; my favorite combination 😩 Yoongi stepping in again with the good idea to take her back home 🫂 MY MANNNN RAHHHHHHH plus, we got a little bit of bratty Faeryn in this chapter, talking back to Namjoon🤭 BRATTY FAERYN FANS RISE!!!

I hope you enjoyed this little extra update!! You all said you enjoyed longer chapters, so this Tuesday is a long chapter🤗 EEEEEEEEEE see you then and in the comment section!!!! <33

Chapter 17: Stay With Me

Summary:

Faeryn experiences life in her new apartment, receiving a troubling phone call from Jungkook at the early hour of 2 AM.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

After a night full of TMNT, crocheting, and spending as much time with everyone as I could, I convinced everyone I was fine to sleep by myself; that I had to get used to it anyway. Even so, I couldn't sleep, so I snuck downstairs quietly. The light from Yoongi's door peeked beneath it, and I knocked carefully.

He opened the door slightly, easing it open further when he saw me.

"Can I come in?" I sniffled. "I want to listen to your song; my favorite one, and it doesn't sound the same on my phone."

His voice was soft. "No?"

"No," I confirmed. "It sounds better in your room."

He stepped aside. "You can come in."

I availed myself the usual chair I sat on, and once he fitted the headphones around my head, I pushed my cheek against the headrest of the chair and made it spin.

The comfort of the song caused several tears to fall, and once it finished, Yoongi played it again, letting me spin and cry my silent tears.

On the sixth time it played, my tears had stopped—as did the spinning, and honesty began in their place as I told Yoongi quietly, "I don't want to miss you, but I can't help it."

"You can miss someone," he said quietly. "It's okay to miss someone, even if they're still around."

I wiped my nose. "Yeah, and...you can text me. Whenever you want. Okay? We can still talk about dreams."

"Dreams," he repeated. "Yes. We could."

Taking a deep breath, I released it rigidly. "Thank you; it was your idea that I could come back here tonight."

"It wasn't my idea." He smiled stiffly, but there was a softness within it; one that was trying to escape. "Everyone wanted to suggest it; I was just the first one to."

I smiled tearfully. "Thanks for being the first one to because now"—I tapped the headphones—"I can listen to music with you."

"Yes." His smile began to thaw, barely noticeable if I hadn't been looking for it. "With me."

Back at my apartment the next day, I sat on my new bed they'd helped me set up.

Taehyung had offered to stay the night, but I'd forced myself to refuse. I needed to get used to living here alone; he'd already done so much. They all had.

I could do this; I'd been through much worse than living alone in safety.

Slowly and carefully, I lay back on my bed. Thankfully, Namjoon had suggested I keep the guest room blankets to help me ease into my new apartment. They smelled like home, especially since I sprayed them with each of their colognes.

Climbing beneath them, I smelled them greedily as I tried to relax. An hour into trying to relax while watching Camp Cretaceous on my phone—my apartment void of a TV—I put my phone on my bedside dresser, propped my pillow toward it, and curled up.

Twenty minutes passed, and my pulse quickened when a text came through.

 

I picked up Taehyung's FaceTime call, feeling my lips spread into a smile when his face appeared.

"Hey," he greeted, propping his phone up. "I have everything all set up."

"Me too," I agreed excitedly, using Mr. Stuffins to prop my phone up as I grabbed my crochet hook and yarn. "I think I'm going to make a bag with strawberry designs. What do you think?"

"Ooh, good idea," he encouraged. "Do you have a pattern for it already?"

"I think I'm going to freehand it," I chirped. "I've made enough granny squares, and I already know how to make strawberries, so I'll just add them together."

"That's really cool!" he said, surprised. "You can just think of a project and make it?"

"Sometimes! I just make them so much that I got the hang of it." I made a slip-knot. "What are you going to make?"

"I'm going to do it," he said, determined. "I'm going to make Charmander."

"Really?" I beamed. "Do you have a pattern?"

"There's a video on YouTube I'm following," he told me. "I'm using my computer to watch it."

"Oh, wait, which one is it?" I grabbed my phone. "I can follow it, too. That would be fun, right?"

"What about your bag?"

"I can make it later," I told him. "I want to make something with you at the same time."

He grinned. "I picked the first video that popped up for Charmander tutorial. It has a blue banner that says 'Tutorial'."

"Found it!"

We crocheted for a while, laughing and talking about our days and plans for future hang-outs. It was nice, but a part of it made me miss him more than I already had, knowing I could see him through my phone but not touch and kiss him. Not hold him or be held by him.

I fell asleep on Facetime, and when I woke up, the ache in my chest was strong. I missed them.

During breaktime at work, I was surprised when they all joined Lyric and I at our table, pulling up extra chairs to compensate; even Yoongi.

I tried to ask what they were doing, but I cut myself off by hugging whoever was closet to me. The culprit was Jimin, and I didn't let go, clinging to him in case he would disappear.

"I missed you," I said into his neck.

"I missed you too, honey," he murmured near my ear as he rubbed my back. "Did you sleep okay? Taehyung said you fell asleep on Facetime; did that make you feel nice and safe?"

I nodded, grudgingly pulling away when Lyric cleared her throat.

Setting the dinosaur I made her down on the table with his miniature milk carton, she raised her brows at us. "What is this? This is a non-harem lunch-time; your communal girlfriend is my friend—one of my closest, actually—and you're hogging her. I didn't even get to ask her how her first night was at her apartment yet."

Through a burning blush, I managed, "I'm—I'm not their girlfriend."

"You're not?" Jungkook looked at Namjoon, at the others, then back to me with confusion and concern written onto his face. "But—"

"Shh, bub." Namjoon pushed a raspberry pastry against Jungkook's lip, causing the latter's words to falter and his lips to instinctively part. "Mm, there you go. Just eat your food."

Jungkook chewed around the pastry, blinking his confusion at Namjoon and me as he remained silent.

Lyric watched Namjoon's thumb swipe along Jungkook's lips to collect escaped raspberry filling and push his thumb into Jungkook's mouth for him to suck it off.

Lyric blinked, turned to me, and blinked again. "Are they dating?"

Jungkook squeaked, choking on his food, and Namjoon sent Lyric a disapproving look as he gently patted Jungkook's back.

"Oh my god," she whisper-shrieked. "They are. Wait, wait, but the way they both look at you—" She snapped her fingers and pointed at them. "Bi, the both of you; I could clock 'em anywhere."

Jungkook choked harder.

"Lyric," Namjoon said through his teeth, forcing a polite smile. "How about you focus on yourself?"

"I'm trying," she scoffed. "But focusing on myself includes talking to my friend Faeryn who, if you haven't noticed, is now hiding in Taehyung's neck when she was just hiding in Jimin's. Who's next—the rest of you?"

"Lyric," Jin spoke next, his deep, disapproving tone catching her attention. "I know you'd prefer to spend your lunch with Faeryn, but if you don't lower your voice, we will take Faeryn to our break room."

She narrowed her eyes. "Faeryn."

"Yes?" I peeped.

She pushed Taehyung. "Move; this is her seat now."

Taehyung tightened his hold on me in response.

Jin rubbed his temples. "Taehyung, let Faeryn take your seat. You can still sit on the other side of her. Lyric," he instructed firmly. "Eat your food."

She pointed her chopsticks at him. "Don't boss me around."

Jin stood, and I watched as the others did in sync.

"Wait," she blurted. "Fine! Fine, fine, I'll eat and lower my voice."

He stood for a moment longer, letting his point sink in until he sat, and once he had, the others followed his lead.

Now seated beside Lyric, I offered a hug to calm things down. She hugged me tightly, squeezing the very breath I breathed out of my lungs.

"Do you need that doctor's appointment now?" she whispered not so quietly.

It was my turn to choke.

Taehyung patted my back, rubbing it comfortingly as I tried to catch my breath.

"Lyric," Namjoon warned.

"What?" she defended her innocence. "I'm being a helpful friend. Have any of you taken her to the doctor?"

"She will be going," Jin spoke firmly. "On her terms, and when she's ready."

"So you are all dating her." She laughed. "I knew it."

I blinked rapidly, struggling to keep up with the conversation and what was and wasn't okay to say.

We hadn't discussed how public we would be or about labels; I knew it might not be the best idea, especially with their very public career, and faced with it now, I was struggling.

Jimin took over, answering breezily, "She's going to the doctor for her wrist pain, and like Jin said, she'll go when she's ready."

"Ready?" Lyric turned to me. "What does he mean by that?"

"I'm...I'm just..." I grabbed my protein shake and drank it quickly, using it as a ploy to keep from explaining.

"Let's eat," Hoseok suggested. "Sweetheart, do you want to try what we brought?" He opened his tray. "Jin made pasta last night."

"Pasta?" I put my shake down hopefully. "I love pasta."

He smiled softly. "We know."

"You know," Lyric said slowly as I accepted the pasta. "I won't tell anyone if you're all dating. I'm good at keeping secrets."

"Really?" Namjoon drawled. "Because you're being awfully loud about a mere possibility."

She scoffed. "What do you see in this guy, Fae? Are you into douches?"

"He's not a douche," Jungkook and I spoke in his favor heatedly.

Lyric's lips tugged into a smirk.

Namjoon lifted a brow. "See that, Faeryn?" He tilted his glass to his lips. "Scheming."

Lyric grinned. "Always."

"So you don't think he's mean?" I asked, flustered and confused. "Then why would you—"

"For a reaction," she teased, poking my side. "He's got you and Jungkook eating out of his palm."

Jungkook and I turned a similar shade of red.

"I have two men of my own back in my hometown," she told me, making my eyes widen in surprise. "Whenever I go back, they're all mine, so the three of you—all of you—are not fooling me. I know what sex eyes look like."

"Sex eyes?" I whispered, concerned.

"Yeah, Fae." She poked me again. "They're looking at you like they want to eat you."

A startled peep left me, and I looked to them to see I held their complete attention as they ate.

I shivered.

"You've been gone for what, one day?" She laughed, snickering into a bite of food. "It looks like they missed you. Are they going to take you home and show you just how much?"

I covered my face again, overwhelmed, and completely neglected my pasta.

"Final warning," Jin rumbled.

I heard Lyric's grin. "I'm stopping, I'm stopping." She nudged me. "Eat up, Fae. No more teasing from me, I promise. It just gets boring around here sometimes, but this? So not boring."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," I pleaded.

"I won't," she promised laughingly. "Besides, I'm pretty sure they'll swoop you away into their break room if I say anything else."

"Correct," Namjoon said drily.

I blushed.

"How was your night?" Hoseok steered the conversation back to something more neutral, smiling at me as he awaited my response.

"Good," I said carefully, watching Lyric and Namjoon stare each other down. "I crocheted with Taehyung on Facetime, and before that, I watched Camp Cretaceous."

"She texted me, too," Lyric butted in. "I bet she didn't text all of you at 5:45 PM."

"5:44 PM," Jungkook peeped, looking slightly anxious.

Lyric slowly turned to look at him. "You look cute," she said after a moment. "But you're out to get me, aren't you? You're trying to take Faeryn away from me?" She tsked. "Your cuteness can't hide your true intentions."

"She's kidding," Namjoon assured Jungkook, his eyes laser-focused on hers. "And she's going to learn how to make better jokes from now on."

"Can we just eat?" I asked, my voice high-pitched. "I just want to eat."

Jungkook nodded quickly. "I want to just eat, too."

Lyric made pinching motions at him. "Adorable. Don't worry, Namjoon," she said to his flat expression. "I'm not flirting with your boyfriend."

Jungkook's blush looked like it hurt. "We're not—I'm not—"

"Shh." Namjoon fed him more pastry, making the latter squeak his relief and chew gratefully. "Don't listen to her."

"Lyric," I pleaded. "Be nice."

"Tell that to them," she said with a shrug. "I knew you first."

"Everything's fine," Taehyung spoke up. "It's completely and totally fine, and we're all nice—Lyric, too. We're just hungry and really should eat before break time is over."

I nodded hopefully. "Can we do that?"

Lyric stabbed her chopsticks into her rice, making Jungkook's eyes widen. "Sure," she drawled. "I bet I can eat faster than all of you."

Jimin chuckled. "Sure."

"You think otherwise?" Her brows shot up, and with a menacing grin, she picked up her rice bowl and held it close to her chin. "Bet."

Jimin gripped his chopsticks, and without another word, he and Lyric embarked in an eating competition.

I watched, agape, and when I caught Jungkook's face in a similar expression as mine, I giggled. His eyes darted to mine, and when he saw me, his features brightened as his giggles joined mine.

Namjoon noticeably relaxed at the sight of us easing into the setting, and with his arm over the back of Jungkook's chair, he exhaled deeply as he looked from him to me, and—there it was. The fondness I craved and held so closely when I was falling asleep; when I needed a reminder that there was something within me that others could love. That maybe, just maybe, Ryker hadn't been right.

I could be loved.

After lunch, Hoseok pulled me aside. "We'll pick you up in the lobby once we all clock out," he told me. "And we'll take you home for a movie night. Until then, think about what movie you'd like to watch; anything you'd like."

I hugged him tightly, breathing in the vanilla surrounding him. "I can't wait."

He rubbed my back gently. "If you fall asleep during the movie, we have the guest bed all set up for you, but if you'd prefer to stay with me in my bed, then I can make a few calls. See what I can do."

I giggled and blushed, needing to kiss him but knowing it wouldn't be appropriate if anyone found out. I didn't want to ruin his career after he and the others had been so kind to me; after we'd all become friends.

With his mouth near my ear, he told me, "I'll kiss you as many times as you'll let me once we're alone."

I shivered with need. "Yes, please."

He rubbed my back once more before offering my hip a squeeze. "I missed you. Taehyung, as you know, doesn't enjoy Indie Folk as you and I do." I could hear his smile. "The car ride here wasn't half as enjoyable without you."

"The ride in the bus would be better if you were there," I told him.

"The bus?" He pulled back to peer into my face. "Was Lyric too busy to take you to work? That's what we talked about, sweetheart; you commuting with her. The bus isn't always the safest option."

"She got into an argument with her roommate about rent," I explained. "And her roommate threatened to change the locks if Lyric didn't pay rent today instead of tomorrow, so Lyric had to go to the bank to withdraw money." I smiled sheepishly. "She couldn't drive me today."

His brows tugged together. "You call me if you need a ride; call any of us."

"I'm okay on the bus," I assured him. "And before that, I walked to work. I can do it."

"I know you can." His hand lifted as if he were going to cup my face, but he paused, realizing the audience we held. "I know you can," he repeated in a murmur. "But you have us now, and we don't want you walking and taking the bus when we can drive you. Wouldn't you enjoy Indie Folk in an air-conditioned car and comfortable seats?"

"I don't want to put you out of your way," I said, concerned. "You're already driving me home tonight, so—"

"I'll drive you for hours wherever you want, whenever you want. That isn't a problem, Faeryn. Being with you will never be a problem."

"It's...but it's really okay with you?" I pressed. "You're not just saying that? Because if you don't mean it, you can just tell me. I can't understand if you mean it or not, and I don't want to take you up on an offer you don't really mean—"

"Why wouldn't I mean it?" He struggled again not to cup my face. "Why would I lie to you?"

"It's...it just happens a lot. People say they want to do something, and then they don't do it, and I feel...stupid for getting excited." I shook my head quickly. "I don't want to feel stupid, so really, you don't have to promise you want to do something if you don't want to. Just tell me, okay? It's better if you tell me."

"We communicate," he said with furrowed brows. "Always, sweetheart. I won't lie to you; none of us will. I want to be with you, and if that includes a ten-minute car ride or a twenty-minute lunch, I'm there. I'll always be there, and I'll prove it to you, Faeryn. I don't expect you to trust me without seeing proof, so I'll give it you—as much of it as you need, so yes. Tomorrow, I'll pick you up at your apartment, and we'll listen to Indie Folk the entire way here."

This time, he didn't stop his fingers from tucking the hair away from my face. "Is that okay with you?"

I struggled with the sentiment, but with his track record, he'd never lied, so for the moment, I chose to believe he wouldn't start now.

"Yes," I whispered, my eagerness threatening to consume me. "If that's okay."

"It's more than okay." His features softened. "I enjoy our time together, Faeryn; I don't think you realize how much I do."

I looked up at him adoringly, even with the mixed feelings of hope and fear stirring in my gut; fear if it was too good to be true, but fear wasn't as scary when it was occupied with staring into the eyes of one of the kindest men I'd ever known.

"It's okay if you can't believe me yet," he murmured. "Do you think it would be okay for me to still drive you to work? Kiss you while I open your door for you, once I enter the car, a few times during red lights, and when we park before entering HYBE?"

"Yes," I breathed out. "I'm—yes, I can. I can try."

"I know." His knuckles caressed the side of my face. "You already are." His features tightened, and when he smiled, it was strained. "Ah, sweetheart, I wish there weren't people watching us."

"Why?" I whispered.

"You're looking at me through your lashes, and I want to kiss you, Faeryn. I want to kiss you and take you somewhere we can be alone."

I melted, swooning as I pushed my forehead to rest against his chest. "Tonight?"

"Tonight," he confirmed, his lips lifting into a smile.

He hugged me to him a final time before releasing me grudgingly. "I'll see you at 5."

"Okay," I agreed contentedly, swaying from side to side as I watched him walk to join the others.

Lyric came up from beside me, pinching my side. "You're not discreet. Like, at all."

I whirled around, surprised. "What?"

"You might've well just kissed with all that sexual tension." She grinned. "It got real hot in here." She fanned her face with her hand. "Very steamy."

I pushed her away, blushing profusely as I managed to return Jungkook's excited wave goodbye. The last night I spent at their house, he told me he would wave excitedly whenever we left each other to prove that within his excited wave was excitement to see me again; proof that he and the others would always want to see me again.

I'd told him how sweet he was until he was infused with blushes and hid his face in my shoulder.

Namjoon had been very pleased with our interaction.

Giddy, I thought about each one of them as I went about the rest of my day, and when 5 PM came, I darted to the lobby to wait for them. It didn't take long; they appeared, saying goodnight to people they passed, but through it all, their eyes were on me; I held their attention with every word they spoke.

Once they arrived, they crowded around me, and in that position, they walked me through the exit to their cars.

They were taking me home.

꧁꧂

Two weeks at my apartment; I'd been living there for two weeks, and still, I'd count down the hours at night for when it would be morning. When Hoseok would pick me up for work, when I would see the others at HYBE at break, and when I'd go home with them for dinner.

My apartment was where I slept, but it was nothing more. I barely slept there anyway, always awake on my sheets as fear of nightmares kept me awake or woke me up to stare at the ceiling.

Most of the nightmares were about Ryker, and as two weeks turned into three weeks, I wondered where he was. Why he hadn't come back for me. When he would and if I could escape when he did.

Jin set up locks on my door and a doorbell camera to help me feel safe, but I think a part of it was done for his peace of mind, too.

One night around 2 AM, my phone rang. Startled, I looked over, surprised to see Jungkook's caller ID. Accepting the call, I put my phone on speaker so I could hear him better.

"Jungkook?" I prompted.

"Faeryn," he rasped.

"Is everything okay?" I glanced at the time to ensure I was right; that it was 2 AM. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Did I wake you up?" His voice was muffled. Small. "I—I remembered you saying you didn't sleep well either, and I thought maybe you would be awake, but if I woke you up, you can go back to bed. I'm sorry."

"You didn't wake me up," I assured him quickly. "I was already awake."

He sniffled. "Really?"

"Yeah, of course." I held my phone tighter as if it was him. "What's wrong?"

"What...well, what are you doing?" He blew his nose. "I don't want to interrupt."

"Are you sick?" I asked, concerned. "Where's Namjoon? Do you want me to call him for you?"

"No," he said quickly. "No, please; don't call him."

I hesitated. "Why not?"

"He had a hard day," he said, his voice wobbling. "He was so upset with a meeting, and it ran way too long, and he didn't even eat dinner, so he's too tired, Faeryn; please don't wake him up."

"Okay, I won't," I reassured him as my worry spiked. "But...do you want to talk to me? Is that why you called—so I can help?"

He was quiet before his voice returned in a whisper. "Is that okay?"

I nodded quickly even though he couldn't see me. "You can tell me whatever's bothering you, and I'll try my best to help, I promise."

"Really?" he breathed out relieved. The relief lasted two seconds before he burst into tears, and alarmed, I froze, momentarily unsure how to respond.

A few seconds passed before the thought of him continuing to cry without comfort pushed me to try, "Are you okay?"

"No," he cried. "I'm so tired."

"Okay, that's—that's okay," I comforted him. "Did you take your meds? Or are they not helping?"

"I can't take them," he insisted. "I'm too scared to sleep, and they'll make me sleep, and I don't want to sleep; I feel—I feel like I'm suffocating, like someone's pushing me into a corner and I can't run away."

"Jungkook," I said with wide eyes, heavily concerned. "No, it's—it's okay. No one's pushing you into a corner. Do you—maybe, do you want to wake up Hoseok? Could he help?"

"I should be able to handle this myself," he stressed. "They always help me, but I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not a burden," I assured him, although his words hit close to home. "I promise. You mean so much to them, and you mean so much to me. When we care about someone, we're there for them, right?"

"But I already put them through so much," he sobbed, beginning to hyperventilate. "It's my fault that we had to stop our last comeback from happening, and I don't want to remind them by still crying about it."

Confused, I offered, "I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"It was," he insisted frantically. "If I'd just shut up and took it for a little longer, we could've made our comeback, and in the meeting today, we talked about how we're still waiting to comeback because of it, and I think that's why Namjoon was so mad; he was mad at me."

"No, no," I assured him quickly. "Namjoon would communicate with you if that was true. Did he say he was mad at you?"

"No," he panicked. "But maybe he was too mad to communicate; what if he hates me? What if—what if he doesn't want to be with me anymore and tells everyone else to stay away from me, too?"

"No," I refuted, alarmed. "Jungkook, that would never happen."

"They said it would," he divulged through sharp pants. "That's why I tried to wait, but I was too scared, and I feel so stupid; I should've just waited."

"Who said it would happen?" I pressed. "Waited for what?"

"The comeback to happen," he managed. "My—my managers."

"What about your managers?" When he didn't respond, just kept crying, I coaxed, "You can tell me; it's okay. I won't laugh, remember? I promise."

"Talking about it makes me feel stupid," he wheezed. "And horrible. I—I ruined our comeback, Faeryn; It's all my fault."

"You're not stupid," I denied. "And I'm sure you didn't ruin your comeback."

"I did," he whimpered, his voice muffled. "I ruined everything."

"Is your face in the pillow? Jungkook, it's—it's okay. Take your face out of the pillow, okay? It's not safe when you're crying."

He cried harder, absolutely besides himself.

Panicking, Taehyung's words came to mind, and I blurted, "This seems worse than it actually is  because you're tired, right? Once you sleep, things will feel better in the morning."

"It's been a year," he countered, nearly a wail. "I don't feel better yet."

"Jungkook, please," I panicked. "It's okay, it's okay. You can talk to me about it, so I can try to help, right?"

"I can't." He hiccupped. "You'll think I'm stupid, just like the managers did, and maybe you'll hate me and be mad at me like Namjoon."

"He doesn't hate you," I promised. When he didn't respond, I clicked the Facetime option. "Accept."

"What?"

"Accept my Facetime request."

"No," he said, high-pitched. "I look crazy."

"I don't care how you look, Jungkook, now accept my request. Now."

With a few more sniffles, he accepted the request, and his face filled my screen. He was wearing a long T-shirt that hung off one shoulder, his wavy hair was a mess, and his eyes were puffy and swollen.

He managed a wave as he cried, pulling his sleeve over his hand for comfort and wiping his eyes.

My heart dropped at the sight, and I clung to my phone. "Can you look at me?"

"I am," he croaked.

"Okay, good. Now can you just copy my chest? Can you try to take deep breaths?" I put my hand over my chest to demonstrate. "See? Just like this."

He tried, his brows furrowing as he followed along, and his breath kept hitching.

"It's okay," I assured him. "You're doing really good."

"I am?"

"Yes," I promised. "So just keep breathing, and then you can tell me about what you're scared of, okay? If you want to."

He nodded, rubbing his chest for comfort before patting it. "It's—it's what Namjoon does when I'm scared."

"You can keep doing it," I comforted. "It's a great idea."

"Yeah," he stammered. "He always makes me feel better."

"I know," I murmured. "And I promise everything's going to be okay. Just keep breathing."

He did his best, and after ten minutes of guided breathing, he only had the occasional sniffles.

"There," I praised softly. "Do you feel any better?"

He wiped his nose with his sleeve, showing a timid nod.

"Good," I murmured. "Does this...happen a lot?"

"Sometimes," he whispered. "When I'm stressed, and...the meeting was about the comeback, and I just got so scared."

"It's okay to be scared," I reassured. "I get scared all the time."

"Because of...because of Ryker?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "Because of Ryker, but...you know what?"

"What?"

"Talking with you or the others always makes me feel better, and if one of you isn't around, crocheting and watching my comfort shows makes me feel better."

He hugged himself. "I...I feel better with everyone here, too. But when I don't want to bother them, I just stay in bed."

"Do you think it would make you feel better if you did something that brought you comfort? Maybe watching TMNT or something else you enjoy?"

"I...I like painting. And sketching."

"You do?" Intrigued, I wondered, "Can you tell me more about that?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his nose tiredly. "I like painting nature. I like flowers; Jimin let me paint the flowers on the kitchen table, and Jin was a little mad, but he's not mad anymore. He likes it and says no one can put tablecloths on the table so everyone can see the flowers."

"You painted those? Wow," I breathed out, impressed. "Those are beautiful. I remember seeing those when I first came over and thought how pretty they were."

He blushed, fidgeting slightly. "Really?"

"Really," I insisted. "I thought they were professionally painted."

He smiled shyly. "Thank you. I...I paint a lot of nature, but I like to sketch people." His blush deepened. "I made a sketch of you."

"Really?" I started to smile back at him. "Maybe you can show it to me tomorrow. Well, it is tomorrow, but when we see each other at work."

"Yes," he said quickly. "I'll show you."

"I'm excited," I let him know. "To see it, but really excited to see you. I'll give you the biggest hug ever, okay? And a kiss, too."

"You give nice kisses," he said quietly, his shyness taking over.

"So do you," I said brightly. "And do you know who would agree with me?"

"Who?"

"Namjoon."

He looked down. "I hope he's not mad at me."

"Do you want to talk to him tomorrow? I can be there with you if that makes you feel better."

"He won't be mean to me if he's mad." He tugged at his fingers. "He's always nice, and he pets my hair like this"—he demonstrated—"and I just hope he doesn't hate me because of what I did."

I gave him a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I...I don't really want to." He winced. "I'm sorry. You were so nice and talked to me, and now I'm—"

"Hey," I interrupted, trying to sound firm like Jin. "You don't have to talk about things you don't want to; that's your boundary, and I will always be here to talk, even if you don't want to talk about all of it."

"Boundaries." He nodded slowly. "Jin talks about that; everyone does." He took a deep breath. "I like boundaries."

"Me too." My thumb swiped over my screen, right across his face. "It feels safe."

"Namjoon hyung says they're supposed to make us feel safe, and we set them up when we don't feel safe."

"Boundaries are nice. Helpful, right?"

"Right," he agreed with a small smile.

I curled up in my bed, bringing my phone with me. "You should try to sleep."

"You too," he said, quickly arranging himself in a similar position as I was.

"It's like we're sleeping in the same bed." I clutched my pillow tightly. "Me and you."

He hid his smile in his pillow. "Me and you."

"Do you want to make everyone watch TMNT tomorrow during game night?"

His lips inched upward. "Yeah, and we can play the episode with Leatherhead."

"And quote it the entire time," I agreed with a smile of my own. "I'll be Donnie."

"I'll be Leatherhead." He yawned, nuzzling against his pillow. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Faeryn?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like you."

My chest ached and filled with warmth. "I really like you, too."

"Thank you for...for staying on the phone with me when I cried and for watching TMNT with me tomorrow."

"Forcing everyone to watch it with us," I amended, a light tease that evoked a miniature smile from him. "And I mean it, okay? If you ever need me, I know I'm not there anymore, but you can text or call me. Thank you for trusting me enough to call."

"Do...do you trust me enough to call me if you cry?"

"Of course I do." My tone softened. "I trust you."

His nose twitched, red and irritated from his tears. "It's...it's really hard for me to trust people after..."

He trailed off, and I picked back up with, "Trust is hard for me too. I know."

"But you...you said you trust me." He blinked, confused. "You don't?"

"I do," I confirmed. "Because I know that you're kind and sweet, and the way you love your hyungs—" I breathed deeply. "You're so loveable, Jungkook. And I trust you. You don't laugh at me; you laugh with me, and...I hope we can laugh together for a long time."

"Loveable?" he whispered.

"Loveable," I confirmed.

I resituated my pillow, pulling the blankets up around me as his voice entered the air, small and hopeful.

"I want to laugh with you. For a long time, too," he said.

A smile inched its way onto my lips. "We'll be the best laughers."

He giggled, and it was breathless. Relieved. "Yeah."

"Let's get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

He patted his pillow, fluffing it up before burying his face into it. Momentarily, he said, "Faeryn?"

"Yeah?"

"You're loveable, too."

I hid my smile in my pillow, putting my hand over my beating heart as sleep struggled to take me down.

"We'll laugh and be loveable together, then," I responded. "Me and you."

"Me and you," he repeated, then released a content sigh. "Okay."

I fell asleep after I was sure he had, and I clutched my phone tightly through each nightmare.

꧁꧂

The next night, I bundled up with Jungkook on the couch with a shared blanket, and our knees bumped as we giggled and echoed the character's lines in TMNT as the others sat around.

Namjoon was on the end of the couch we were on leafing through a book, and he looked intimidating in a way that made me want to bury myself in his chest and breathe in his cologne. Wearing his reading glasses and a dark green turtle neck and slacks, he kept his forearm propped on the back of the couch as he read.

Jungkook kept sneaking glances at him. They hadn't spoken yet, only in passing, and Jungkook was positive Namjoon was mad at him.

I didn't understand why he would be, but I hugged Jungkook to console him and tried to keep his attention on the show.

I nudged his cheek gently. "Do you want a snack?"

He peeked at me, shaking his head as he pressed the side of his cheek to mine. "No."

Lowering my voice to a whisper, I told him, "You stopped quoting the show with me."

He hung his head. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay." I squeezed him tightly. "I just want you to be okay."

He gnawed on his lip. "He won't look at me."

"He's reading," I countered.

"But...usually I can sit in his lap when he's reading."

"Okay," I said slowly. "But you're sitting with me, so that's probably why; he just thinks you're comfy and doesn't want to ask you not to be."

"I am comfy," he agreed, startling when I gently prodded his lips away from his teeth, but he relaxed when I gently swiped my thumb along his lip to soothe its quivering. "But...I would be comfy with Joon, too."

"I know." I removed my thumb to kiss him, soft and gentle. "Do you want to go sit in his lap?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"You said it yourself, right? That he's nice to you, never mean."

His features fell as anxiety took over.

"He'll be nice," I murmured. "He's always nice to you."

"But what if this time he's not?" he whispered, pained.

"He's never given you a reason to believe otherwise, right?" I rubbed his temples fondly. "Pattern recognition is a survival instinct, he says, and right now, I think you should listen to it instead of listening to anxiety."

He hesitated, and his eyes flitted to Namjoon as he turned the page of his book.

"You can do it," I encouraged quietly. "Do you want to take the blanket with you? It could make you feel better. Safer, right?"

His doe eyes looked back at me, and endeared and concerned, I caressed his cheek. "You don't have to," I murmured. "But you can."

He looked at me, thoughts whirring behind his eyes, and eventually, he nodded with enough determination to slowly begin to untangle himself from me. I lent him the blanket and tucked it around his shoulders as he made his way to Namjoon.

With a glance back at me, I nodded encouragingly, and he took a deep breath, pivoting as he reached Namjoon. Still on the couch, Jungkook mustered up his courage and pushed his face against Namjoon's arm.

Namjoon didn't look at him, his attention still on his book, but he passed his hand through his messy waves. Jungkook immediately nuzzled into his arm, his eyes fluttering as he tried to gauge Namjoon's features for answers—for possible anger. When he didn't find any, he sucked air in through his cheeks, tucked his head under Namjoon's arm, and pushed himself onto Namjoon's lap.

Namjoon held his book out in front of him to keep it from falling, and fixing his glasses to sit closer to the bridge of his nose, he peered down at where Jungkook was curling against his chest with his blanket.

Without saying a word, Namjoon arranged the blanket around him, making sure every inch of him was covered, and with his vacant arm, he cupped the side of Jungkook's body and threaded his fingers through his hair.

Kissing the top of his head, he turned the page of his book, exhaling deeply as he continued to read.

I leaned my head against the couch as I watched Jungkook's body twitch with anticipation; I wasn't sure what the anticipation was for, but it wasn't eager; it was scared.

Namjoon's hands traveled from Jungkook's hair to his back, rubbing up and down with light pats every so often. Jungkook's twitching increased, Namjoon's touch seeming to make it worse without verbal intent behind it—angry or calm—and it didn't take long for the latter to tear his eyes from his book.

"You're shaking, bub." He leaned back, gently pushing Jungkook's hair away from his forehead for a better look at him. "What is it?"

Jungkook stared at him, wide-eyed and quiet.

Namjoon rubbed his back. "Talk to me."

Jungkook's chin wobbled, but still, he remained silent.

Namjoon caught my eye, and as he secured the blanket more securely around Jungkook—the latter's face downturned—Namjoon mouthed to me, "What happened?"

I hesitated, not wanting to reveal something Jungkook wasn't ready to talk about, but uneasy with the way he shook in Namjoon's arms, I signed, "Scared."

Namjoon's eyes narrowed, the sign familiar with the online ASL classes he'd been taken for my sake—the others, too—and he nudged his mouth against Jungkook's earlobe, speaking in low tones as he prompted, "Do you want to tell me what's making you shake like a leaf?"

Jungkook shook his head, nodded, then shook his head again.

"You can talk to me." Namjoon angled his face to catch Jungkook's averted gaze. "Hm, bub? You want to tell me what's scaring you?"

Jungkook jumped slightly, and his lips parted to speak, but nothing left him. He tried again, but instead of words, tears came. Words came not long after. "I'm so sorry, hyung," he stammered through his tears. "The meeting wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me." He clenched his hands into fists, and his nails dug into his palms for solace. "It's all my fault."

"The meeting?" Namjoon's brows pulled together as everyone's attention quickly shifted to Jungkook. "What about the meeting was your fault?"

"We still can't have a comeback," Jungkook stuttered, desperately trying to stop crying. "All because of me—because I couldn't just shut up and take it, and I'm so sorry, hyungs, I'm so, so sorry."

"Jungkook," he reprimanded, causing Jungkook's eyes to widen as tears spilled from them. "Are you blaming yourself? Again—for something that wasn't your fault?"

"It's my fault," Jungkook insisted frantically.

"You were in a dangerous situation, and you were brave enough to come to us; to tell us so we could help—us and the company. How is being brave something to hate about yourself?" He tucked his fingers under Jungkook's chin, not allowing him to break eye contact. "Answer me."

"You were so tired," Jungkook burst. "After the meeting, and we keep rehearsing for a comeback that keeps getting pushed back because of the new background tests they're running, and they—they can't find anyone good enough to replace the old managers, and it's all my fault."

"Hey," Namjoon said sharply, causing Jungkook to sit up straight, slightly alarmed. "I don't want to hear those words leaving your mouth again, am I understood?"

"But Joon—"

"No," he refuted heatedly. "We will find replacements, we will have a comeback, and all of it will happen when it's supposed to; not at the brunt of you. Never at the brunt of you. Do you understand me? You were suffering, and now you're not. How and why could I ever be upset that you're safe?"

Jungkook buried his face in his hands, but Namjoon gently tugged his hands away, bringing their faces inches apart.

"Jungkook," he said firmly. "Open your eyes."

Jungkook shook his head quickly.

"Open your eyes," Namjoon repeated. "And look at me."

Jungkook listened, gripping the blankets tightly as he met Namjoon's eye.

"I'm not mad at you," Namjoon spoke clearly. Decisively. "And I will never be mad at you for coming to me or one of the others for help. I know you know that; that's why you came to us." He cupped the side of his face, and although rigid, his tone began to soften. "You know that."

Jungkook bit his lip anxiously, struggling to find it in himself to recognize whether he did or not. I knew what it was like to be unsure of reality because of the fear muddling your perspective. A big reason for it was Ryker, and sitting a few feet away from Jungkook, I wondered who his reason was.

"Was it the meeting?" Namjoon asked, continuing to caress Jungkook's face. "Did it trigger you? Make you think things that aren't real, like I'm mad at you for something beyond your control?"

Deflating, Jungkook hung his head and broke down, crying his apologies as Namjoon tugged him flush against his chest and murmured comfort in his ear.

I felt myself choke up at the sight of Jungkook's blatant fear, and I struggled to keep my tears back, trying not to let them fall to take away from what he was feeling.

Wrapping my arms around my knees after I pulled them to my chest, I hugged myself close as Namjoon hugged Jungkook.

I was right; it was a relief that I was. Namjoon would communicate if he was upset, and he hadn't been, and he communicated to Jungkook why he wasn't. It was a relief to Jungkook, and it was a relief to me. Namjoon kept his word. I knew that, I did, but it was refreshing and reassuring to see it happening in real time.

For so long, no one had kept their word, but Namjoon did, and it was a breath of fresh air. They all were.

My breath of fresh air.

"You're exhausted," Namjoon noted lowly, scratching the back of Jungkook's head gently. "How about we take your meds and go to bed?"

"With you?" Jungkook asked hopefully.

"You don't have to ask." Namjoon stood, and when Jungkook clung to him, he kept him in his arms. "You can sleep with me every night if you want to; you know that. My room is your room; it's always ready for you."

Jungkook gasped a bit, mostly out of relief, but otherwise with exhaustion, and he dropped his head to Namjoon's chest as he gave into the comfort.

"There," Namjoon murmured, holding him close as he carried him to the stairs. "Just hold onto me, bub. I've got you."

I watched after them, slightly concerned but finding relief in knowing Namjoon would comfort Jungkook to sleep.

Once they disappeared up the stairs, I looked back at the others. They looked pained, clearly understanding what Jungkook and Namjoon had been discussing.

"Is everything okay with Jungkook?" I asked worriedly. "It sounded like something bad happened."

"He's fine," Jin spoke first, keeping his voice level. "When he's comfortable enough to, he can explain to you, but it's not any of our places to speak about."

"Oh." My eyes widened. "I'm—yeah, of course. I didn't mean to pry; I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't happening anymore. He just—he seemed so scared."

"It won't happen again." His voice was an inch softer than before. "We're making sure of it."

"Okay," I said slowly. "That's good."

Taehyung stood, and I watched him take the seat beside me. Putting his arm around my waist and gently easing me into his form, he assured me, "He's okay, I promise. Namjoon's taking good care of him."

I nodded, pushing my face into his shirt as I took a deep breath. "He's okay."

"He's okay," he confirmed. "Really."

We kept watching TV, but it wasn't the same after witnessing Jungkook cry. I felt sad, and I wished I could hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

An hour later, I was surprised by his voice near the stairs, and turning, I saw him in his pink pajamas clinging to Namjoon's hand.

"Faeryn?" he asked quietly, his voice strained.

"Yes?" I breathed out, nodding encouragingly for him to continue.

"Do you want to stay over?" He looked so hopeful, so timid as he stayed near Namjoon. "I...I wanted to know if you wanted to stay with me and Namjoon. Just sleeping," he added with a blush. "If that's okay, but I...I really want that if you do."

"Is that—yeah, is that okay?" I asked, my eyes wide as they met Namjoon's. He dipped his chin slightly as Jungkook agreed quickly, "It's okay, swear."

"Okay," I agreed quickly. "I would love to stay over."

"Really?" He released a breath of relief that contained a whisp of eagerness. "Do you...do you want to come upstairs with us? Namjoon was going to read."

"Yes," I said eagerly. "I want to." Hugging Taehyung tightly, I jumped up to hug everyone and say my goodnights before heading over to Jungkook and Namjoon.

Jungkook grabbed my hand, and with his other hand in Namjoon's, the three of us walked to the latter's room.

Namjoon opened the door for us, waiting until we were both inside before joining us and closing the door.

I was surprised when Namjoon scooped me up, a miniature yelp leaving me as I gripped his shoulders for stability.

"Jungkook's ready for bed," he told me as he held me firmly. Securely. "It's your turn."

I blinked at him before peeking over his shoulder to Jungkook who was smiling shyly. He waved as he climbed onto the bed, positioning himself under the blankets as he watched Namjoon take me into his bathroom.

"We'll be right back," Namjoon told him. "Okay, bub?"

"Okay," he called, staring at the blankets until he reached across the bed to grab Namjoon's book and leaf through it.

When the door closed behind Namjoon and I, he set me on the counter, placed his palms on either side of me, and dipped his face to mine. "Thank you," he said, keeping his voice low. Between us. "For staying on the phone with him last night."

"Oh! Of course," I said quickly, still slightly whiplashed. "He didn't want to bother you, and I just wanted him to stop crying; I don't like when he's sad."

He sighed, brushing my hair away from my face. "I don't either."

"He's better though, right?" I asked hopefully while he handed me my toothbrush. "You made sure he knew you weren't mad? He was so worried that you were."

"I talked to him." He applied toothpaste to my toothbrush, tapping the end of the handle. "Brush."

"That's good," I said as I stuck the toothbrush into my mouth. "Right? That he knows you're not mad? Or is he still confused?"

"He's anxious and worried, but he feels better." He cocked his head slightly. "I know you understand."

I nodded slowly. "The others said he's not being hurt anymore. He's safe, right?"

"He didn't tell you," he said after a moment. "What happened."

"He said I would think he was stupid, even though I said I wouldn't."

He ran a hand through his hair, a dark anger rising to the surface. "He'll talk to you when he's ready, but yes, he's safe. We made sure of it, as did the company."

"HYBE?"

"Yes."

I brushed my teeth quicker, wanting to hug Jungkook. "We can put him between us in the bed, right? He'll feel safe that way."

"And you?"

"I feel safe just being in the same room with any of you." My feet brushed his thighs lightly. "We can put him between us?"

His features softened, and he leaned forward, gently kissing my forehead. "Yes, we'll put him between us."

"Good," I said, relieved. "He'll feel safe, and then he'll feel better. He likes when he can sleep with you, and he likes when you read to him, so this is great! He'll be relaxed enough to fall asleep, and he won't feel trapped, just warm and safe now that he knows you're not mad at him."

His fingers trailed the side of my face. "We were ready to read and sleep after we spoke, him and I, but he asked for you. He wants you here instead of hiding away after you saw him cry. That's big for him, and it says a lot about you."

My eyes prickled with feeling. "Really?"

"Yes." His thumbs caressed my cheeks. "Really. And it means a lot to me, how kind you've been to him. You're kind to everyone, Faeryn, I can see that, but Jungkook is very important to me; seeing how you are with him is special in itself, not to mention how important to me you are."

He breathed deeply as fondness flickered in his gaze. "Thank you."

Touched, I tried to respond, but with my mouth full of toothpaste, I wasn't sure I could. I tried to tell him to give me a second, and once I rinsed my mouth out, he tugged me back into his arms and hugged me with a vengeance before I could properly respond.

"You're perfect," he said into my hair. "I want you to know that."

I melted and squeezed him back as tightly as I could. "So are you, and—and thank you for everything you said. It...it makes me really happy that I'm important to you because you're important to me—all of you are."

"You don't have to thank me for that, Faeryn. I only told you the truth."

"Still," I whispered, burning with emotion. "It means so much."

Setting me down, he took my hand and kissed the top of it. "Perfect."

Dizzy from his words and affection, I held onto him tightly as he led me back into his room.

"Hi," Jungkook said, nose deep in the blankets with Namjoon's book. "I'm reading."

Namjoon chuckled. "I can see that." Guiding me onto the bed, he patted my ass as I dove beneath the blankets with Jungkook and squeezed him into a hug.

Jungkook's features brightened when he realized he was squished between us, and he linked his arms through both of ours shyly, sinking further into the pillows when we kissed either side of his head.

He slackened when Namjoon began to read, his voice deep and alluring, and soon, his hold on us began to ease as sleep found him.

His head kept lulling to either side of him as he tried to fend sleep off, but eventually, Namjoon gently eased his head to rest on his shoulder and murmured, "You can sleep; we're right here."

That was enough to ease the anxiety coursing through Jungkook, and a few minutes later, he fell asleep to Namjoon's hypnotic reading.

"You're a good reader," I signed.

He smiled handsomely, using his free hand to sign, "I have two good listeners."

I blushed. "Your signing's getting good."

He lowered his hand downward from his chin to sign, "Thank you." In quiet tones, he noted, "You haven't experienced a loss of speech for some time."

I thought about it before nodding my agreement. "Yeah, that's true."

"You're regulating well, then."

"Yeah, and...I'm safe." I half-smiled. "So my body doesn't feel like going in survival mode."

His anger from before flashed in his eyes, but his voice remained quiet. Subdued. He changed the topic, asking about my apartment instead. It's what he did when I mentioned Ryker—Jin, too. They'd both show signs of anger before shifting the topic, and I'd watch as the anger slowly drained from their eyes while they listened to me speak.

They were respecting my boundary; they wouldn't speak of him, and to refrain from doing so, they would change the topic before they would be tempted to.

Sometimes, I thought I wanted to talk about Ryker; talk about what he did and the nightmares it caused, but I wasn't sure I was there yet or if I would ever be. The fact that he was still roaming free frightened me, knowing there was a possibility he could find me.

Swallowing my discomfort, I responded to Namjoon, and the two of us signed and spoke quietly while Jungkook slept contentedly between us.

Notes:

A bit of an ominous ending there 😬 also, our poor Jungkookie 😔 more of his backstory to be revealed soon 😢 BUT I JUST WANT TO GIVE HIM THE BIGGEST HUG 😭😭😭 Writing trauma for my characters is a choice, and I'm really out here hurting my own feelings LMAOOOOO but good backstory is good story, and good character development means good characters😜😔🩷

Also!!! The show that Faeryn likes about dinos, Camp Cretaceous?! The sequel's second season, Chaos Theory, comes out on Thursday and I'm so excited I can't even BREATHE OMFGGGGG what are some shows you guys are watching recently or will come out soon?! EEEEEEEEEEEEE <33

Chapter 18: Threesome

Summary:

Faeryn, Jungkook, and Namjoon have a little fun together.

 ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

A few days later, Jungkook had begun to settle and was easing back into smiles and giggles as he'd been previously. 

The trigger of the meeting had run its course, and relieved he felt better, I watched him laugh and tease just to let it sink in that he was okay.

After a game night Jungkook successfully succeeded—giggling mischievously when he won nearly every round—he asked me hopefully, "Stay?"

The others seconded his proposal, and without needing much persuasion, I agreed readily.

"You can stay in Joon's room with me and him," he said determinedly, a hopeful crease engraved on his forehead. "We can wear our matching pajamas, you and me."

Namjoon chuckled lowly. "Did you ask permission, bub?"

"Are you going to say no?" Jungkook returned haughtily, showing a cheeky grin when Namjoon lifted a brow.

"Uh-oh," Jimin teased. "Kookie's being naughty."

Jungkook lifted his chin proudly, earning a round of chuckles from a few of the others.

"Look at him, honey," Jimin continued his teasing tone. "Maybe now is when you'll see Namjoon punish him like you wanted."

My eyes widened just as Jungkook's did, and we quickly turned to look at each other.

"I don't want you to be punished," I blurted just as he blurted, "You want to see him punish me?"

We blinked rapidly before saying in unison, "Okay."

Namjoon clicked his tongue, causing the two of us to look at him immediately.

To me, he prompted, "Do you want to sleep in my room?"

"Yes," I managed.

"Then you know to ask nicely." He jutted his chin forward. "Show Jungkook how he should've asked."

Gnawing my lip as I peeked over at Jungkook, I jumped slightly when Namjoon clicked his tongue, reprimanding, "Eyes on me."

"Sorry," I stammered, and standing up straighter, I did my best to ask, "Namjoon, can I please sleep in your room?"

"Very good," he conceded, earning a giddy blush from me. Turning to Jungkook, he arched a brow. "Did you see how she asked?" 

Jungkook nodded with wide eyes.

"That is how you ask," Namjoon continued firmly. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Jungkook agreed, glancing at me quickly before returning his attention to Namjoon.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, hyung," Jungkook amended immediately. "I understand."

"Good." Namjoon studied his features for a moment before his attention shifted to mine. "What do you think Jungkook should do, Faeryn?"

I swallowed. "I...I don't know."

"No? You don't know what he should do after you asked nicely to stay in my room tonight?"

Realization spread through me, and hurriedly, I told Jungkook, "You should ask nicely if we can both stay in his room."

With red fanning his cheeks, Jungkook snuck a glance at everyone before asking Namjoon, "Can we stay in your room, please? I'm sorry I didn't ask nicely."

"Very good," Namjoon approved. "Both of you."

We preened.

"Now go get ready for bed," he instructed us. "I'll be there in a minute."

Nodding quickly, Jungkook grabbed my hand and tugged me up the stairs with him, calling his goodnights to the others over his shoulder. I managed a wave before returning my focus to keeping up with Jungkook's quicker strides.

"I'll meet you in his room," he told me breathlessly when we entered the upstairs hallway. "I have to get my pajamas."

"Me too," I said, just as breathless.

We scattered, and by the time we were finished, we met at Namjoon's door. 

"Come on," Jungkook said, pushing the door open and waving me inside. "He'll be here any minute."

Pulling me inside, he closed the door and tugged me onto the bed. Namjoon's room was neat and clean, and it had warm brown and white colors, reminding me of Hoseok's room. Lined with books, music CDS/records, and a few potted plants, I took it all in as I sat on his bed.

"He has a nice room," I told Jungkook.

He smiled brightly. "It's nice, right? His blankets are comfortable, too."

I patted them, bursting into laughter when Jungkook pulled me to fall back into the pillows with him.

Grinning at me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and hugged me before settling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. Sighing contentedly, he said, "I'm so glad you're staying tonight."

I smiled at the side of his back, nudging his shoulder with mine as I pushed onto my back. "Me too."

Remembering when I'd been on Namjoon's bed before, laying flat on my stomach and taking his cock deep in my throat, I began to squirm. "What...what do you both usually do in here?"

"Read at night," he said brightly. "Watch movies, talk about whatever we want, and then sometimes we..." He trailed off as his cheeks pinkened. "You know."

My heart fluttered. "Like...like what kind of things?"

"Like...anything we want." He turned slightly to see me, and I did the same. "It feels really good."

"Really good?" I whispered.

He brought his bottom lip between his teeth as he nodded. "Sometimes, he'll keep going after I come, and I...I don't think I can take it, but he tells me I can. He says I'm doing such a good job." A light shudder ran through him. "All for him."

My pupils dilated. "Do you use the traffic light system with him, too?"

"Yeah, but I don't really need to use it." His throat bobbed. "He knows me really well, like what I can and can't handle."

"Is he ever...rough with you?"

He shook his head. "Not really. Sometimes? But it doesn't happen a lot." His eyes latched onto mine. "But he's rough with you, right? You said you liked it."

"I like it," I agreed headily. "A lot. It...it feels like I'm floating when there's a little pain, and I never want to come down."

"The pain makes the pleasure feel better?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yeah."

"Oh." He swallowed again but with more difficulty than before. "And he likes it, too?"

"He said I did a good job," I said as I watched his eyes glaze over with arousal. "And he said I was so pretty for him."

"You are," he breathed out. "So pretty."

"You are too." I couldn't look away from him. "So, so pretty."

His eyes flickered down to my lips, and needily, I pressed our lips together. He moaned and curled his fingers through my hair, pushing his legs to intertwine with mine as I deepened the kiss.

"What is going on here?"

Jungkook and I broke apart quickly as if we were guilty, and with similar pink dust sprinkling across our cheeks, we turned to find Namjoon closing his door. 

With his arms across his chest, he walked to us slowly, taking in our dazed expressions and puffy lips from kissing.

"Hyung," Jungkook panted, clutching the blankets tightly as he sat up. "We were kissing."

"Kissing?" he prompted. "Is that what you were doing?"

Jungkook's blush heightened. "Well, it...it felt good, so I—"

"Had to grind your hips against her?" Namjoon stepped forward. "Hm? Is that what you had to do?"

"Yeah," he stammered. "We were just waiting for you."

"Were you?" Namjoon looked amused. "It didn't look like it."

"We were," Jungkook insisted, looking at me for assistance. I nodded as he continued, "We were talking about what we both did with you."

A muscle in Namjoon's jaw ticked. "Is that right?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, sitting up as I reached for Jungkook's hand. Holding on tightly as arousal encapsulated me, I relayed, "We talked about how you were softer with him and rougher with me." Garnering enough courage, I wondered, "Is...I mean, is there a reason?"

He approached the bed, and his thighs brushed the side of it as he came to a halt. "Different dynamic."

"Oh," Jungkook and I said breathily.

"Why?" Namjoon queried, his brow lifting alluringly slow. "Did you want to switch?"

Jungkook shivered, and I took the liberty to respond, "I want anything."

"Anything?" Namjoon's tongue hit the roof of his mouth. "Needy thing, aren't you?"

I melted closer to Jungkook, nodding rapidly as I looped my arm with his for support.

"Look at that," he mused. "Needy and honest."

I inhaled sharply as desire shot through me in waves. "Namjoon," I pleaded.

"Mm?"

"Can you—can you come on the bed with Jungkook and me?"

"And do what, Faeryn?"

In unison, Jungkook and I said, "Anything."

A low chuckle left Namjoon, laced with teasing and a hint of condescension. The mixture made my head spin, only worsening the effects when he spoke. "Do I have two needy toys tonight? Do they just need to be played with? Hm?"

A whimper left me, and the sound edged a similar one from Jungkook.

"Hyung," he begged.

"Hyung is speaking."

"Sorry," Jungkook managed, a high-pitched whine. "But—"

"But?" Namjoon's voice dropped a level. "Do I need to take you over my knee?"

Jungkook squirmed. "No, hyung. Sorry, hyung."

"There's my good boy."

Preening, Jungkook began to buzz with anticipation. "Thank you, hyung."

"Very polite," Namjoon approved. "Can you keep being polite for hyung?"

"Promise," Jungkook agreed without hesitation. "I can; I'm so polite."

"And you"—Namjoon cocked his head to the side as he took in my flushed features—"what have you decided to be tonight?"

I could barely breathe. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" He sighed as if I disappointed him, and my stomach lurched at the sound. "Faeryn."

"I'm polite," I insisted. 

"Oh, are you? I'm assuming we're neglecting to remember how you acted in the car with Jimin, bouncing on his cock, ignoring me, all the while moaning for Jin."

Jungkook looked at me, bug-eyed. 

I whined, averting my eyes as I protested, "You weren't being fair."

"Oh, so it was my fault?"

"No," I negated, flustered. "But—well, you weren't being fair."

"I wasn't being fair," he repeated. "Mhm. And did you tell Jungkook how you wanted to see him punished?"

"It's not true," I refuted, turning my attention to Jungkook. "It's not!"

"Oh, but it is," Namjoon chuckled. "You came all over Jimin's cock with the thought of me punishing Jungkook."

"Faeryn?" Jungkook stammered, and at first, I was afraid he was upset, but then I noticed his hips were swiveling against the mattress. 

He was as into the idea as I was.

I whimpered and shifted closer to him. "I just wanted to know what happened when he...when Namjoon punished you, if he did."

Jungkook began grinding in earnest, and his eyes met mine desperately. "Yeah, he—yeah, he does."

"Jungkook," I whispered. "You—you want me to see him...punish you?"

He whined, and frantically, he breathed out, "Hyung."

"Oh, my poor needy boy," Namjoon lamented. "Does he need help? Is Faeryn riling you up?"

Jungkook nodded eagerly. "Please help."

"Help you with what?"

"To feel good." Jungkook's voice kept raising in pitch. "Please, hyung?"

"Thank you for letting hyung know what you need; he'll take care of you in one second." He turned to me. "Faeryn. How do you prove to me how polite you can be?"

Remembering how I proved it to him last time, I inched forward on the bed and propped myself up on my knees. "Kiss?" I asked tentatively.

He lowered his face to mine. "Go ahead."

Taking my chance, I kissed him sloppily, messy in my desperation, and he let me do the work, humming his approval when I pulled back. 

Grasping my chin, he tilted it toward Jungkook, and bringing his mouth near my ear, he spoke lowly. "He looks left out."

Quickly, I pushed myself toward Jungkook and nearly toppled into him as our lips crashed together.

"Thank you, thank you," Jungkook panted into the kiss, continuing to grind his hips fervently. 

The desperation in his tone matched the one building within me, and with a whine, I ground my hips in time with his, both of us panting and whimpering.

Namjoon clicked his tongue, and grudgingly, Jungkook and I pulled apart from each other.

Stepping back, he snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor. "On your knees, both of you. Now."

Hurrying to the position he wanted us in, we kneeled side by side as we looked up at him expectantly.

His features tightened at the sight of us, and loosing a breath, he brought his hand to his belt. "Show me your tongues."

We listened without question, spit pooling on our tongues as Namjoon took his time unfastening his belt. When he lowered his jeans and boxers, I whined impatiently, unable to keep myself from doing so.

I regretted it once he clicked his tongue, and even more so when he shifted toward Jungkook.

"There you are," he praised. "Being so patient for me."

Jungkook waited eagerly yet patiently, and he was rewarded when Namjoon pressed his cock onto his tongue. Jungkook waited, nearly frozen, but when Namjoon instructed, "Go ahead", Jungkook closed his lips around his cock and swallowed it down greedily.

Namjoon exhaled shortly, keeping a hand on Jungkook's head as it bobbed up and down. The sounds were obscene and arousing, causing heat to bloom in my stomach at a furious pace.

Grounding my hips against the floor, I watched Jungkook pull back enough to pay attention to the head of Namjoon's cock, sucking it fervently before taking it back down his throat.

"There you are." Namjoon thrust forward slightly. "Taking my cock down your throat like the sweet boy you are. Isn't that right, bub? My sweet boy?"

Jungkook nodded furiously, looking up with watery eyes at Namjoon as he sucked his cock as if inhaling air after minutes without.

"Keep watching him," Namjoon instructed me, his voice laced with pleasure. "Look at how well he takes it."

I whimpered, seeing stars as I impatiently waited for my turn.

Once the whimper left me, Jungkook's pace faltered, and his eyes darted to mine. They were back on Namjoon's questioningly, and the latter understood. Threading his fingers fondly through Jungkook's hair, he questioned, "You want to share, bub?"

Jungkook nodded.

"Give it a kiss," Namjoon instructed.

Jungkook pulled off his cock and pressed a kiss to the tip of it, breathless as he looked over at me.

I nearly toppled over, unsure what to do with myself. Desperation continued to grow within me at an alarming pace, but I wanted to be patient; I wanted to prove that I was good, so I tried to still my shuffles of anticipation.

 Namjoon stroked himself lazily as he regarded me. "Have you learned to be patient, or do I need to keep you waiting until you do?"

"I learned," I attested hurriedly. "I promise I learned, I really promise."

"Mhm." He continued stroking himself. "Open your mouth."

I let my tongue show eagerly, my brows furrowing as I looked up at him. 

Pushing his hips forward, he thrust into my mouth, making me gag. I tried to get accustomed quickly to the sudden intrusion, but he set a quick and rough pace, not giving me any time to.

Holding both sides of my head, he used it to steady me as he fucked my throat, causing spit and precum to dribble down my chin to my pajama shirt.

When I thought I might get used to it, he pulled away, letting me cough as I caught my breath. 

He returned to Jungkook, setting a much different pace than he had with me. He let Jungkook control most of it, let him suck and deep throat him when he wanted to, and only thrust when his cock wasn't too deep.

As soon as I caught my breath, Namjoon returned and took it right back, nudging his cock past my lips and down my throat. I whined and babbled around it but soon found myself floating in the haze that became me the first time I deep-throated his cock. It was difficult, being torn from my haze repeatedly when he switched between Jungkook and me. 

"How does that feel?" Namjoon asked Jungkook, caressing his cheek as Jungkook took him back in his mouth. "Can you tell me?"

"Good," Jungkook said, his words muffled by Namjoon's dick.

Namjoon pinched his cheek fondly. "My good boy."

Blinking rapidly, I shifted closer needily, wordlessly asking for it to be my turn. Namjoon caught the movement, and with narrowed eyes, he reproved, "Sit still."

I whimpered, shivering at how the silk of my pajamas rubbed against me when I would grind on the floor. 

"Faeryn," he warned.

"Need you," I pleaded.

"You need to wait."

"I don't want to wait," I refuted indignantly. 

His brows lifted, and without warning to Jungkook, he pulled out of his mouth. When Jungkook whined at the loss, Namjoon threaded his fingers through his hair, consoling, "Give me a minute, bub. You'll get my cock in one second. Can you be patient for me?"

Jungkook nodded, turning to look at me expectantly with pleasure-ridden eyes. The sight made me clench my thighs tightly together, and I gasped in surprise when Namjoon lifted me and positioned me against the end of the bed. With my palms on the mattress and my ass out, Namjoon gripped my hips and pulled them towards him.

Pushing the front of his body to the back of mine, he nipped my earlobe, rasping against it, "Count."

I began to voice my breathless confusion when his palm, warm and heavy, landed on my ass. I jolted with surprise, and a yelp of pain left me. It quickly turned to stunned pleasure, and dizzy, I pushed my ass out for more.

Namjoon released a strained chuckle. "Look at her."

"Yeah," Jungkook said, winded. "She...she really does like pain."

Namjoon rained his hand down once more. "Why aren't you counting, Faeryn?"

"I'm sorry," I stammered. "Two."

"If you stop counting, we start over," he warned, dipping his hand lower, and without warning, he issued a sharp slap to my throbbing core.

I cried out, and my hips stuttered with confused pleasure.

Jungkook let out a little gasp, and he sounded pained. "Hyung, she's so—she's—"

"Desperate for it?" Namjoon prompted with a low chuckle. "Mm, I think you're right."

Jungkook's pitch of voice heightened. "She really likes it."

"Mhm." Namjoon caressed me through my pants before administering another slap. "Do you like seeing her like this? Like seeing her with her ass in the air begging for attention?"

Jungkook's breath hitched with a moan. "Yeah, I—I really like it."

"Funny," Namjoon chuckled. "You both want to see each other punished. What does that say about either of you?"

"I don't know," Jungkook insisted, warbled and whining. 

"No?" Namjoon prompted. "You don't know?" His next slap was harder, and I yelped out the next count. "Talk to me, Faeryn. Tell me what it says about you."

"Just—just that I like it," I managed, clutching the sheets for stability as I anticipated his next slap. "A lot."

"Are you going to tell me something I don't know?"

"Sorry," I whimpered.

"Mm, I know. So sorry." He lowered my pants and let them fall around my ankles, and I could hear Jungkook's sharp intake of breath. "Not sorry enough to be patient though, are you, Faeryn? If I sat you back down and put you on your knees, you'd be right back to whining."

"I just needed you," I defended myself shakily as he caressed me through my panties, evoking a high-pitched moan when he pinched my clit. 

"You just needed to wait," he returned sternly. "Do you understand that?"

"Please," I begged.

"Please what? 'Please, Namjoon, I'll be good', or 'Please, Namjoon, let me get my way'?"

I tried to turn to see him, but with a firm grip on my neck, he pushed my face into the mattress. Darkness surrounded my vision, and I jolted when he slapped my clit, unable to help myself from pushing my hips back for more.

He clicked his tongue. "Stay still and take what you're given, or I stop."

I tried my best, but when his hand ghosted my ass in preparation for another slap, I pushed back into it.

He sighed. "This," he conversated with Jungkook, "is why she isn't ready for sex."

I tried to refute his words, indignant and desperate, but with my face in the mattress and another slap my clit, I couldn't bring myself to focus on speech.

"She's trying," Jungkook defended me. "She's just excited. Right, Faeryn?"

I couldn't nod, but I hoped he knew I would agree with him if I could.

Namjoon tutted. "Don't be rude, Faeryn. You speak when spoken to."

I tried, mouthing against the mattress, but I babbled nonsense into it as I hoped for Namjoon to return to touching me.

"She can't," Jungkook told him. "Her face is in—"

"She can," Namjoon cut him off. "Isn't that right, Faeryn? Can you do hard things if you try?"

When I tried to nod, he tightened his grip on me, keeping me from doing so, and my whine was lost into the sheets.

"You can do it," Jungkook encouraged. 

I couldn't do it; that was the issue. Everything I said was lost in the sheets, sounding like incoherent nonsense. Namjoon knew it; he was torturing me, teasing me into insanity, and I was beside myself with indignation for more.

Namjoon, again, sighed. "This is tiring. Bub, come here. On your knees for hyung."

I whined, desperately trying to speak to earn the viewing pleasure of Jungkook on his knees, but it was useless. 

"Very good," Namjoon praised him. "Always so good for hyung, aren't you?"

"Yeah, hyung," Jungkook agreed eagerly. Breathless. "Good for hyung."

"Good boy. Open your mouth."

The obscene sounds from before rang through the room, and I stilled my movements before struggling to lift my face to see.

Namjoon clicked his tongue, however, and put my actions to a halt. "I'm not done with you, Faeryn."

He brought his hand down harder than before, and I cried out, instinctively grinding forward into the sheets.

His dark chuckle filled my senses. "You needed this, Faeryn. Is this why you act out? So I can show you what happens when you do?"

I nodded as best as I could with his grip on my neck, and he hummed in response. "Is that right? It's such a shame when you could've come to me sooner, begged nice and pretty on your knees for me to fuck your mouth and bend you over my knee. Now, Faeryn, you're stuck with your face in the mattress unable to see Jungkook take my cock down his pretty throat."

He applied a dizzyingly amount of pressure to my neck. "Next time, you will wait your turn and be patient. Do I make myself clear?"

I whined and pushed out another nod.

"Mm." He caressed my stinging cheek. "A nice red. C'mere; look at her."

Jungkook sputtered as Namjoon pulled him off his cock, and a moment later, I felt his hot breath against my ass. 

"Kiss it," Namjoon instructed him firmly. 

"Hyung," Jungkook stammered.

"Now."

With a whimper, Jungkook did as he was told, and I gasped when I felt his lips on my ass for a gentle kiss.

I moaned in unison with him, still remembering Namjoon's words to be still and patient, and tried to remain as still as possible in the hopes I would receive more kisses.

"Very good, Faeryn," Namjoon voiced his low approval, slapping the cheek Jungkook wasn't kissing. "You can be patient. Hm?"

It was difficult to hold still when I wanted to squirm and moan with pleasure, but if I did, I wouldn't receive his praise or any rewards, so I nodded and remained still.

"Oh, very, very good." He cupped me between my thighs, and with his thumb, he rubbed circles around my clit; teasing but never touching. "Such a quick learner."

A moment later, I clutched the sheets tightly in an effort to stay still when Jungkook kissed my fluttering hole.

"Good boy," Namjoon praised him. "Does that taste good? Do you just want more? Hm? Oh, poor thing. Look at you, rutting against my leg while you kiss Faeryn's pretty pussy. Are you just too desperate?"

Jungkook whined his confirmation, a desperate plea for his hyung, and the vibrations of his words against my covered entrance made my hips stammer with pleasure against my will.

"Please," Jungkook gasped out. "Please, hyung, need it."

"My poor baby. Okay; it's okay. Hyung's got you." 

I whimpered when my panties were pushed to the side, gripping my thighs, and Namjoon positioned my hips higher. 

Pushing his chest against my back, his voice appeared dangerously close to my ear. "You're not ready for me to take you, Faeryn, but how do you feel about letting Jungkook take you?"

I gasped at the mere thought, and desperately, I spoke my agreement into the sheets.

"What was that?" he prompted. "Speak up."

"Please," I begged, muffled.

"Hm. I didn't quite catch that. Did you, bub?"

"No, but she's—she's trying," Jungkook defended me, sounding as dizzy as I was.

"If she's truly trying, why don't you ask her if you can fuck her?"

Jungkook took a sharp intake of air. "I...I can?"

"I said you could, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you—yeah, hyung, but I'm just—I'm—"

"I know, hm? I know. It must be intimidating to ask to fuck someone when you're always the one being fucked, huh, bub? Is it just so scary?"

"Hyung," Jungkook insisted, high-pitched. "I—I'm not scared."

"No? Then why haven't you asked her?"

"She won't be able to respond," Jungkook explained breathily. "And I—I'll feel nervous if I don't know what she said."

"Oh, bub, don't worry. You'll know."

"I...I will?"

"Mm. Go ahead; ask her."

Taking a deep breath, Jungkook struggled for a moment before asking, "Faeryn, can...I was just wondering if I—well, if it was okay with you if I could"—a little, embarrassed whine slipped past his lips—"fuck you?"

Namjoon chuckled. "So polite." Lifting my face by the back of my neck, he instructed, "What do you say?"

"Yes," I sputtered, swallowing air desperately as I swallowed Namjoon's intense gaze. "Please, I—I want him to fuck me."

"Say, 'Please fuck me, Jungkook'."

"Please fuck me, Jungkook," I repeated obediently, breathing heavily when Jungkook's eyes widened when the words left me.

"Joon," he breathed out. "She said yes."

"I heard." Namjoon angled my face closer to his. "Tell me your color."

"Green," I promised.

"Explain the traffic system."

Panting, I managed, "Yellow for pause, red for stop, green for okay."

He pushed my face back into the sheets. "Jungkook, come here, bub. Take your pants off."

"Okay," Jungkook agreed headily. "I—I will, hyung."

"Mm. There it is. Look at it; so cute and pretty, just like you, hm?"

"Yes, hyung," he stammered. 

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, my—my cock is so cute and pretty, just like me."

"Much better." Namjoon spread my thighs apart and offered a slap to one of them. "I want you to prep her. You know how, don't you?"

"Use my fingers," Jungkook confirmed ardently. "I—I know."

"And how do you know? Tell hyung."

"Because hyung preps me with his fingers," he revealed, making me shiver.

"Someone's excited," Namjoon mused, squeezing my ass. "Do you like the  idea of me prepping Jungkook to take my cock?"

 I nodded fervently, earning a chuckle from him. 

With a final slap to my ass, he shifted to the side but kept a firm grip on the base of my neck.

"Prep her," he instructed Jungkook. "Show me you can do it."

"I can," Jungkook attested quickly, eager to prove himself. "I'll show you."

"I'm waiting."

I moaned when Jungkook's forefingers prodded along my entrance, and immediately, he faltered, wondering, "Is—is it okay, Faeryn? Are you okay?"

When I nodded as quickly as I could, Namjoon prompted him, "She'll tap the sheets if she needs to stop, yes, Faeryn?" I nodded again. "Good. Keep going, bub. You can do it."

"Okay," he agreed longingly, sliding his fingers up and down my slit before carefully easing one inside. He used my arousal to assist him, and the sounds of it were obscene, making my cheeks flush with embarrassment and need.

"Desperate," Namjoon noted, his condescending tone causing me to wither and preen simultaneously. 

"She's—she's clenching around my finger," Jungkook told him, strained. 

"And how does that feel?"

"I—I want it to be...to be me."

"You want her to clench around your cock? Oh, bub. Are you just as desperate as Faeryn?" He chuckled, and I assumed Jungkook nodded his agreement as Namjoon continued, "See if she can take two fingers."

Jungkook eased in a second finger, and I moaned, my stomach pulsating with anticipation for more.

"She can," he told Namjoon quickly. "She can take it."

"Excited," Namjoon said laughingly. "Aren't you?"

"Yeah," Jungkook confirmed without hesitation. "I—I am."

"Mhm. Here; pull your fingers out."

Jungkook listened, and I gasped when Namjoon's fingers replaced his. "Mm. Already so wet down here, Faeryn. You and I won't use lube, but Jungkook is going to be gentle with you, so he's going to go get it for me."

"Yes, hyung," Jungkook said quickly, his feet pattering across the floor as he hurried to listen. 

"Get a condom while you're there, bub."

"Okay, I—I will; yes, hyung."

When he returned, Namjoon was still pumping his fingers in and out of me, readying me for Jungkook.

"Pour some on my fingers," Namjoon instructed. "No, bub, not the ones I have in her." He chuckled. "Yes, there you go. Good job."

He pulled out the fingers he had in me and inserted the ones with lube, and I shivered at the cold feeling, struggling to push back for more.

"You like how that feels, Faeryn?" Namjoon prompted. "Does that feel nice?"

"Yes, yes, like it," I agreed, hoping he could hear me.

He hummed thoughtfully, easing his fingers out for more lube. "More, bub."

Namjoon spread the lube around my clit, down to my entrance, and back up again before re-inserting his fingers into me. Shivering from the cold pleasure, I couldn't stop moaning, clutching the sheets as I tried to stay still.

"She really likes it," Jungkook spoke appreciatively. "Can I—hyung, can I try?"

Namjoon eased his fingers out, earning a whine from me that he reproved with a harsh slap to my ass. "Faeryn," he reprimanded sternly. 

"No, no, I'm—I'm sorry," I stammered hurriedly. "I'm really sorry."

"Be patient," he instructed firmly. "Jungkook, go on, and Faeryn, if I have to tell you to be patient again, we're done."

I managed my confirmation just as Jungkook's fingers curled inside me, brushing against my walls experimentally, and I twitched eagerly as I clenched around him.

"Is she ready?" Jungkook asked, his voice pinched with need. "She feels ready."

"How do you know what 'ready' feels like?" Namjoon asked, a light taunt that made Jungkook whimper.

"Just think she is," he responded. "Is...hyung, is she ready?"

"Ask her."

"Faeryn?" Jungkook peeped. "Are you ready?"

"Please," I begged.

Jungkook removed his fingers, and sounding as desperate as me, he asked Namjoon, "Please?"

"C'mere, bub. Let me put the condom on."

With a quiet whine, I heard Jungkook shuffle forward and Namjoon tear the condom package open. 

"Stay still," Namjoon chided lightly. "You can thrust into Faeryn, not into my hand."

"Hyung," Jungkook panted. "Need it."

"I know you do, bub, I know. Just be patient; you'll have her in one second."

I could barely breathe.

"There," Namjoon approved. "Nice and ready for her. All right; go on. Take her."

"Okay," Jungkook stammered. "Faeryn, I—I'm going to...to fuck you now. Is that okay?"

"Jungkook," I pleaded. "Please."

"Okay," he said quickly. "Okay, I—okay. I will."

Carefully touching my thighs, he gripped my right one for support as he slowly nudged his cock against my entrance. 

Inch after inch, he pushed into me, making me moan with each explored one. 

"That's it," Namjoon praised. "Slowly. Let her get used to you."

"She feels—" Jungkook broke himself off with a panicked moan. "I—I can't—"

"Talk to me, bub."

"She feels too good," Jungkook continued, stressed as his grip on me increased. "I won't be able to—"

"Last?" Namjoon chuckled. "That's okay. Just do what you can."

"Okay," Jungkook managed.

"This is why hyung tops, hm?"

Jungkook shivered, and Namjoon's words caused him to thrust into me sloppily.

"Oh, good boy," Namjoon praised. "Can you use your words and tell hyung how she feels?"

"So good," Jungkook choked out. "She's so—she's just—she's—" He released a stammered moan, and again, his next thrust was sloppy and quick. 

"Slow," Namjoon instructed, teasing. "Push in a little more, yeah?"

Jungkook tried his best, his next thrust slightly slower than the last. Breathless, he wondered, "Better?"

"If she moans, that means you're doing a good job."

Invigorated and determined, the pads of Jungkook's fingers pressed into my inner thighs as he thrust into me deeply, angling his hips to hit near my G-spot.

I cried out, gasping as he didn't stop, going harder and deeper until he brushed against where it felt best, and I fell apart, a moaning mess.

"I'm doing a good job," Jungkook said, panting and eager. "I'm—I'm doing—" With a strained moan, his pace faltered as his hips stuttered against me. "Hyungie, hyungie, she—she feels—"

"I know, baby, I know. It's okay; take your time with her."

"I'm trying," Jungkook stressed. "But she's just—she feels so good, and I—"

"I know; you just want to come already, huh? Poor thing."

His words only edged Jungkook on, and he let out a cry of protest, gripping my waist tightly as he tried to stave off his orgasm.

"I—I want to see her," Jungkook insisted. "Want to see her face."

"Flip her over then, bub. You can do it."

He pulled out of me unsteadily, and with more strength than I believed he meant to use, he flipped me onto my back. My body bounced with the motion, and with wide eyes, I stared at him, agape at his sudden manhandling.

"Faeryn," he breathed out, his face flush and hair strewn across his sweat-ridden forehead. I didn't get a chance to respond when he reburied himself back in me, and it was my turn to cry out at the quick pace he set, deep and messy.

I grasped his shoulders, desperate for stability as he rocked my body forcefully against the bed. 

He was frantic, nearly beside himself with pleasure, and the sight had me clenching around him furiously, unable to fathom what his current state did to me.

"Have to," he gasped. "Please, please, I—I have to, Faeryn, please let me come."

My orgasm hit me just as he asked permission for his, and he noticed as intense shudders wracked through me. 

"Faeryn," he stressed, begging. "Please."

"You—yes, yes," I managed through my moans, and as soon as I gave permission, he came. 

Our moans mingled in the air, and we kissed sloppily as he thrust through it. I became oversensitive soon after my orgasm began to fade, and my whimpers as we kissed increased because of it. 

Pulling away from the kiss to check on the reason for them, his brows furrowed, twitching as he studied my face.

"Okay?" he wondered, concerned. "Okay, Faeryn?"

"Hurts," I managed.

"It hurts?" His eyes widened. "Did I hurt you? Where? I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Where does it hurt, Faeryn?" Namjoon asked, his tone firm and secure. "Point if you can't speak."

I pointed to where Jungkook's cock was still buried within me, and Namjoon understood immediately, putting a reassuring hand on Jungkook's shoulder as he patted his ass. "Pull out, bub. She's sensitive."

"Oh," Jungkook breathed out, concerned. "Okay."

He pulled out as carefully as he could, and once he had, he went back to searching my face. "Better, Faeryn? Is that better?"

I nodded languidly before my head turned to the side against my will, my body shaking as exhaustion took pleasure's place.

"Joon," Jungkook said, sounding slightly panicked.

"She's okay," Namjoon reassured him, nudging him to sit against the headboard. "Go sit."

Jungkook lingered. "Are you sure she's okay?"

"Yes, now go sit. Listen to hyung."

With his cock still twitching, Jungkook nodded and scooched up to the headboard. His eyes never left mine, his worry evident with every blink.

Namjoon scooped me up, cradling me in his arms as he brought my cheek to rest on his chest. Coursing his fingers through my hair, he angled his face to look into mine, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek.  "What color?"

It took me a moment, but I stammered, "Green."

"Thank you for telling me." His hold on me increased, and he pressed another kiss to my cheek, then to my forehead. "You were so good for me; for Jungkook. Did that feel nice?"

I nodded tiredly.

"Mhm?" He squeezed my waist. "I'm so proud of you. Hm? So proud of you."

"Proud?" I tried, the words evoking a flicker of giddy excitement.

"Mm. Very, very proud. You listened so well, took your punishment from me, and let Jungkook make you both come. You did a lot, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I whimpered. "And I'm—I'm tired."

"I know," he sympathized, patting my ass reassuringly. "Poor thing, I know. Just so tired."

With a small pout, I curled closer to him and buried my face in his neck for comfort.

"Oh, there we go." He passed his hand down my back, rubbing it a few times. "Relax for me." Taking me with him, he positioned himself beside Jungkook against the headboard. "C'mere, bub. Come cuddle up with hyung and Faeryn."

Eagerly, Jungkook did as he was told, curling up to us with a vice-like grip.

"Jungkook," I whined. "So good."

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully, and when I nodded, his features broke into a relieved and proud smile. "Me too. It—it was good for me too." He blushed. "Sorry that I couldn't do it for longer." He gulped. "You felt too good."

I blushed. "It's okay. I—I came just as fast as you did."

Namjoon pinched our cheeks fondly. "Very sweet." Caressing my hair, he smiled fondly at Jungkook. "How do you feel? Everything feel good? You feel good?"

"So good," Jungkook confirmed, nuzzling into him. "Thank you, hyung. Thank you, Faeryn."

I said my thanks in return, preening when Namjoon praised us for being so polite.

"Hyung," Jungkook said after a moment. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You didn't come."

Namjoon chuckled. "I'm fine, bub. Don't worry."

"But hyung," he insisted. "I don't want you to feel left out."

"I don't," Namjoon assured him, amused. "I'm taking care of you and Faeryn right now; I can take care of myself later if need be."

"If you need to come later, I can help," Jungkook persisted. "I can suck, or I can bend over so you can—"

"I know," Namjoon cut him off laughingly. "I know." He brought him closer for a tender kiss. "Thank you, but don't worry. I'm fine."

Jungkook's lips turned downward. "I want you to come."

I nodded my agreement as I clutched Namjoon's shirt. 

Namjoon looked down at me, tracing my features as fondness tugged at his lips. "Can't speak?"

I nodded again.

"Okay?" he murmured. "Hm? Just felt too good?" I nodded again. "Mm. Thank you for communicating with me."

I hugged him tightly in response, giggling when his fingers prodded along my sides for a gentle tickle. Jungkook beamed at the sound, and he leaned over to join Namjoon's tickles, making my giggles turn into shrieks of laughter.

"All right," Namjoon conceded with a chuckle. "Relax now; it's getting late. Bub, come hug Faeryn while I go get a washcloth for the two of you."

"I can get it," Jungkook piped up.

"I know you can, but I want you to relax with her." He ruffled his hair. "Hyung will take care of you and Faeryn."

"Hyung," Jungkook murmured, surprising me with the force he hugged Namjoon. 

Namjoon hugged him back tightly, kissing his head repeatedly as he rubbed his back. "My sweet boy."

"Your sweet boy," Jungkook whispered, content with the title. Proud. "Yeah. I am."

"You are." Namjoon smiled into the final kiss. "Hug Faeryn; get comfortable. Both of you." Patting my ass again, he offered it a squeeze. "How do you feel about hugging Jungkook? Or do you want me to hold for a little while longer?"

I clung to him. 

"All right," he murmured, kissing the side of my head. "How about I take you two with me to get the washcloth? How does that sound?" 

I peeked over at Jungkook questioningly as I nodded. He nodded too, showing me an encouraging smile.

"Then we will." Namjoon lifted me off the bed with him, carrying me bridal style to his adjoining bathroom once he made sure Jungkook was beside us.

In his bathroom, he set me down on the sink's countertop and lifted Jungkook to sit beside me.

"There we go," Namjoon said with his handsome smile. "My pretty boy, and my pretty girl."

Jungkook and I beamed, and we each received a kiss from him, deep and possessive before he grabbed a wash cloth and two water bottles for either of us.

He ensured we drank before placing the washcloth beneath the water.

I pointed beneath the sink where he retrieved the water and looked at Jungkook questioningly.

"He keeps water there," Jungkook explained, our thighs pushing closely together from our position. "For after we have...you know."

Namjoon chuckled. "You had sad sex with her, bub. You can say the word."

Jungkook blushed. "Yeah. I know." Quieter, he whispered, "For after we have sex."

I blushed with him.

"It's to—the water, I mean—is for after sex," he continued, shaking his bottle lightly. "So we don't get dehydrated."

I nodded understandingly. "I like water," I signed.

Jungkook smiled a bit. "Me too." Kissing my cheek quickly, his smile turned bashful. "And I...really like you."

I nudged our cheeks together, signing, "I like you so much."

Namjoon positioned himself in front of us, two washcloths in hand. Without needing prompting, Jungkook and I spread our thighs.

Namjoon lips twitched, but he remained quiet as Jungkook kept the conversation going, signing as he spoke; a habit he'd recently fallen into. The others were, too, and it was endearing; it meant more to me than I could properly communicate.

As Namjoon cleaned us up, occasionally chuckling at the stories Jungkook relayed, and once we were cleaned and showered with Namjoon's kisses, he led us back to his bed.

This time, Namjoon placed me between him and Jungkook, and giddy, I preened contentedly as they pressed me as close to them as possible. Enveloped in their warmth, I squirmed happily, beside myself with excitement.

"Shh," Namjoon chuckled, kissing me tenderly. "Relax."

"Nice," I managed to say giddily.

"Yeah?" His thumb caressed my cheek as he he smiled, amused. "It's nice to be between us?"

I nodded eagerly, and Jungkook, absolutely bemused with me, hugging me as tightly as he could.

"So cute," he breathed into my hair. 

Namjoon's chest rumbled with his agreement, and shifting, he put his arm around me to reach Jungkook and used the latter's body to push me further into him.

Flush against Namjoon's chest as Jungkook's chest pressed deeply into my back, I sighed, warm and content.

Jungkook kissed the back of my head softly. "So cute, Faeryn. The cutest."

I shook my head, finding enough words to refute, "You are."

"Shh," Namjoon ended the conversation with a chuckle before it could go on in an endless repeat. "You're both very cute."

"Jungkook's cutest," I whispered.

Jungkook poked my side, signing 'no' where Namjoon couldn't see, but Namjoon, of course, caught Jungkook's hand lowering after the sign and lifted a questioning brow.

Jungkook and I met each other's gaze, and secretive giggles left us, our wordless pact sealed to keep our conversation between us.

Namjoon shook his head, amused. "Go to bed, both of you." Pushing the side of Jungkook's head lightly, playfully, he kissed mine. "Sleep."

"Hyung," Jungkook insisted.

"Push your face out a bit if you want a kiss, bub," was Namjoon's knowing response.

Jungkook quickly complied, happy when he received his kiss, turning his shining features to me to bestow a few kisses around my face until his lips met mine for a slow, languid kiss.

I melted between him and Namjoon as the latter joined the gentle kisses, kissing them back and keeping the slow pace we set.

Slipping closer to sleep than before, my kisses slowed, and they caught the sudden change, switching to gentle caresses on my body instead as my head lulled tiredly between them, a sleepy smile on my face as I looked at them for as long as I could before sleep would eventually take me.

"Faeryn," Jungkook whispered. 

I nodded sleepily to let him know I was listening.

He looked at me longingly, and keeping his voice quiet, he resumed, "I'm really glad that you're our girlfriend."

My heart rate slowed before it spiked, and fear coursed through me. The cause wasn't clear, not at that moment, and my eyes widened in confusion. With my heart beating wildly, I looked from him to Namjoon, unable to properly communicate what I was feeling.

They read my fear easily even if they weren't aware of its cause, and Namjoon tightened his hold on me, squeezing my arm as he spoke his comfort. "Breathe, Faeryn. Whatever it is, we're right here; we'll talk through it."

His words encouraged mine to the surface, and surprising myself with the bluntness at which I spoke, I blinked wildly once the words left me. "We can't date."

Namjoon nodded slowly, lifting his eyes to Jungkook's momentarily to gauge his reaction before lowering his gaze back to mine. "Do you want to tell me why we can't date?"

I gnawed my lip anxiously, unsure. 

"Faeryn," Jungkook whispered, sounding hurt.

I tried to look at him, but Namjoon clasped my neck, keeping his attention on me. "Talk to me," he instructed, administering a look to Jungkook that left the latter silent as he understood the intent—even if I didn't. "Go ahead, Faeryn. Talk to me."

"We're best friends," I stammered as uncertainty coursed through me rapidly. "Not...we're not dating. Dating is...dating is scary and makes bad things happen."

His brow lifted slowly. "Talk to me about the bad things."

"Hurt," I continued cautiously. "It's...that's what happens. People get hurt, and then they get left all alone, and it's scary, so that's why we can't date. But if...if we're best friends," I tried carefully, "then we won't get hurt."

He squinted as he took in my words, seeming to understand the reasoning for them before I truly did. Momentarily, he dipped his chin after his processing concluded.

"All right." He exhaled deeply. "It's all right—to be afraid, to feel this way; it's okay. It's pattern recognition's way of keeping you safe, isn't it?"

I hesitated, paling as I slowly began to understand the reasoning for my fear. Eventually, I showed a small, timid nod.

"That's right," he continued, keeping his tone level yet gentle. Understanding. "Now, I know we haven't had the official talk if we're dating or not. We were going to, Faeryn, but if you want to be with us without any titles, then that's okay. Hm?" He caressed my cheek with firm, gentle swipes. "Do you want to continue with our current relationship? What we've been doing? Or do you want it all to stop?"

"No," I breathed out, startled at the mere idea of ending what we had. "I—I don't want to stop. I like all of you so much, and I want to be with you, but we're just best friends. We're...we're not dating."

"Okay," he spoke slowly. "Best friends don't usually kiss though, Faeryn. I think you know that."

"Yes, they do," I insisted. "My parents were best friends before they got married."

"All right," he soothed. "Did they date before they married?"

"I...I don't..." I trailed off, fear muddling my perspective. Changing the topic, I blurted, "I can't date."

He gave me a moment, but when I remained silent, he gently prompted, "Do you think if we give ourselves the title of your boyfriends that we'll be like Ryker—the last person you called your boyfriend?"

I flinched.

"Okay," he murmured, cupping my face for comfort. "Let's take a break. It's late, you're tired, and we don't want to overwhelm you. How does that sound? Do you think you can sleep?"

"Can't date," I whispered, defeated. "I...I'm scared." When he gave me the time to confirm the reasoning for my fear, I managed to add, "Of Ryker."

He took a deep breath, strained when he released it. "I know."

"I'm...I'm scared."

"You're scared," he continued for me, letting his words leave him slowly and in a controlled manner, "I know, but we're already doing everything under the definition of dating. Do you think a title would make much of a difference, or is that the fear making you believe that?"

"Scaring me," I said quietly, ashamed.

"Hey," he said lightly, making my eyes flit to his and widen the slightest bit. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" I asked tentatively.

"Be hard on yourself." He shook his head. "What he did to you, what he had the audacity to do, is not your fault, and neither are the after-effects. It never will be. It's hard, you're trying, you're scared, and that's okay. We're still here, and if you want us to stay, titles or not, we'll stay.

"When you're ready," he added gently. "We'll give our relationship a new title, but for now, we'll stick to the title of 'best friends'."

"And we'll...we'll still do everything we've been doing?" I wondered cautiously, unable to keep the timid hope from entering my voice, afraid I'd ruined it all.

"We will," he murmured. "We'll still do what we've been doing, and there will only be you for us. No one else."

"You too," I breathed out hurriedly. "I don't want anybody else but all of you."

"Thank you for communicating that with me," he said, keeping me in his intent gaze as he watched me very carefully. "With us."

Jungkook hugged me tightly from the slight indication of himself in our conversation.

"When you're ready, Faeryn," Namjoon concluded as his eyes tracked my tired, fearful features, "you can come talk to us. Tell us that you're ready for a title, and we'll give it to you. I want nothing more," he said seriously, his voice dipping, "than for you to be happy. We want nothing more. And with time, your fear will ease, and you'll feel as safe as you truly are. It will take some time to catch up to your current reality, but we'll be there every step of the way. We promise."

My eyes filled slightly. "Thank you. I—I really like you so, so much, and I want you to stay, and I want to stay. I'm...I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings by saying I didn't want to call you my boyfriends, but I'm..."

"I know. You're scared." He kissed my forehead. "You don't have to explain any more than you already have; we understand, and we're still here, Faeryn. We're not going anywhere."

"Hyung," Jungkook tried again, strained. "Can I talk now?"

Namjoon took a moment before conceding. "You can."

"I'll be your best friend," Jungkook told me quickly. "I'll be your anything, and when you're ready, I'll be the best boyfriend ever." He paused, amending, "We'll all be your best boyfriends ever."

I choked up a bit, conflicted as to why I couldn't call them my boyfriends now, but fear tugged me back, leaving me and my throat closed up. "Okay," I stammered. "And I'll—I'll be the best girlfriend ever."

"Don't cry," he whispered, his features scrunching up at the sight of my brimming eyes. "It's okay. You didn't hurt my feelings. I was just—I was a little confused and thought we were breaking up, but we're not, so everything's okay, okay? We're all okay, and you're safe, and Ryker won't ever hurt you again. You'll see." Fiercely, he ended with, "We won't let him."

"That's right," Namjoon affirmed, keeping his anger away although some of it managed to peek through. "We won't let him hurt you, Faeryn. You're safe with us."

I felt guilty. So indescribably guilty. They were so good to me, so kind, and I couldn't give them a title—something that should've been so simple but was laced with so much fear.

Feeling pathetic, I hung my head as I tried to keep my tears back. "Sleep now," I pleaded brokenly, wanting to forget about the conversation and how horrible I'd been to them throughout it. "Please."

"Okay," Namjoon contested, recognizing it was what I needed. "We'll sleep."

I could tell from Jungkook's breath hitch that he had more he wanted to say, but he complied with Namjoon's final say, hugging me close as Namjoon dimmed his bedside lamp to a lower setting.

"We'll have a nice breakfast when we wake up." He kissed beneath my ear gently. "All of us. And we'll go on." He squeezed my waist reassuringly. "Everything's fine, just like it was before this conversation. You can sleep now; we have you right here with us."

Already exhausted but now even more so, I battled the tumultuous thoughts before I fell asleep, not fully believing Namjoon's comforting words.

Notes:

oh man😖 Started with some light, sexy fun and ended with some trauma. Very on brand for my books tbh😭🔫

Trauma can really stop us from enjoying life because of the fear of it reoccurring, so I get where Faeryn is coming from, but since WE all can see that her 7 men will never hurt her like Ryker did, it's so upsetting/sad to see her refraining from allowing herself to be loved and call them boyfriends and not just her 'best friends'. A part of her knows they're already technically dating with everything they do, but sheesh. The title is what's scaring her😔 All this to say, we can't let fear stop us from new experiences / meeting new people / and living life! Don't let those who hurt you stop you from living. You only have one life; don't let them take any more than they already have. Pain can't be completely avoided, but love can be found, and real love doesn't hurt. Let yourself be loved!!!

Aside from my little speech LMAO I'll write some healing into Faeryn's character eventually (we hope) 🤩

See you guys in the comments (I LOVE YOU) !!! <33

Chapter 19: Piggy Has A Bad Day

Summary:

Faeryn tries makeup with Lyric, but things go wrong. She doesn't expect them to get even worse when she receives ominous text messages that quickly turn threatening.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

"That's pretty," I told Lyric as I watched her apply makeup in her apartment. Her roommate, Cheverie, was huffing and puffing in the living room, complaining about Lyric's lack of hygiene.

Lyric had flipped her off too many times to count and slammed the door with her foot, only giving Cheverie more to complain about regarding hygiene. As loud as the environment was, I was glad for the distraction. After I'd had the conversation revolving titles with Namjoon and Jungkook a few days ago, everything was the same between us, but I had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't be; that I'd ruined something so special because of the fear of how horrible Ryker had turned out to be after we began officially dating.

I tried not to think about it, but rumination was not being kind to me.

"You think it's pretty?" Lyric tore me out of my thoughts, popping her lips together as she applied eye makeup. She glanced at me through the mirror. "Do you want me to do it to you?"

"To me?" My eyes widened at the thought. "I don't wear makeup."

"I know," she complained. "But you should; it would accent your features so well, and I'd have someone to do it with. Cheverie won't be a nice roommate and do her makeup with me," she yelled the last part.

Cheverie yelled, "Shut up, you unhygienic rat!"

Lyric gasped, shaking her head solemnly. "Do you see what I have to put up with? How can one person hold so much audacity? I'm not sure how it's possible. Maybe in her ass? It's big enough."

"Jealousy!" Cheverie fought back. I swore the walls of the house shook every time they yelled, and for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, I was thankful for my earplugs.

"Ignore her," Lyric drawled, turning to examine my features. "Oh yes. Oh yes."

"Oh yes?" I wondered tentatively.

"We need to try this look on you, like, yesterday." She grabbed my face, earning a startled squeak from me as she brought her makeup palette near my face. "We'll be matching on our night out." She squealed, pushing my cheeks together. "No one will be able to tell us apart."

I looked at her curly dark hair and my wavy, brownish reddish hair. "Should I dye and curl my hair?"

She tutted. "I'll dye my hair to match you."

I giggled, relaxing a bit at her usual cheerful, teasing behavior. "Okay. But can we curl it? Your hair's prettier than mine."

"I know," she sighed dreamily. "My curls are to die for, aren't they?" She nudged my shoulder playfully. "But you and me? It's a tie; our hair is on the same level."

I grinned. "I still like your hair better."

She grinned right back. "I won't stop you."

Opening one of the cabinets, she pulled out a hair curler and plugged it in. "While this warms up," she said. "We'll start on your foundation."

"Oh." I brightened, looking at the makeup products. "Which one is that?" I pointed to something yellow. "Can I have that one?"

"Sweetheart, that's a hate crime." She grabbed a bottle and tapped it in her palm, shaking it up and down. "You can't paint your face yellow. I mean, unless you're cosplaying as a minion from Despicable Me, but I don't think that's a good look for a night out, you feel?"

"A hate crime?" I asked, alarmed. "I don't want to paint my face yellow." I blinked rapidly. "Why can't I use the yellow makeup?"

"Not for your foundation. This," she said, pouring the liquid onto the front of her hand, "is foundation. It's the base for your makeup." She picked up another bottle. "Always make sure your makeup is hydrating; you don't want to ruin your skin."

"What does foundation do?" I asked. "Why can't it be yellow?"

"It's coverage, Fae," she said with an incredulous laugh. "It helps hide blemishes, so it needs to be your skin color or else you're putting yellow on your face."

"Oh." I turned red. "Oh. I'm so—I'm so sorry. I didn't know that's what it was; I didn't mean to say that I wanted it for foundation."

"It's okay since you didn't know." She laughed, opening a smaller bottle. "Although, I thought you'd know at least that."

"I don't know anything about makeup," I told her, embarrassed. "Just that it's really pretty."

"You're adorable. Clueless, yes, but adorable." She picked up a moisturizer. "So listen up; we're going to make you not clueless. Got it?"

I started to smile again. "Got it."

"First up, moisturizer. Keep your face straight for me, okay?"

I sat up as straight as I could. "Okay."

She got to work applying my makeup, alternating between herself and me whilst telling me the names of each product.

"Why do you have this foundation?" I wondered, pointing to the one she put on me. "It doesn't match your skin tone, right?"

"Correct. Do you know whose skin tone this is, besides yours?"

"No?"

Her lips quirked deviously. "Cheverie."

I gaped at her. "This is hers? Did you—did you ask her?"

She scoffed. "Of course." She popped the lid on something red. "Not."

"Lyric," I scolded, slightly panicked. 

"Oh, hush. What's she going to do? Pull it off your face? No." She applied the red stick near my cheeks. "She wouldn't dare."

"Lyric, but—"

"You're almost done here anyway! Let me finish." She smiled sweetly. "You don't have a choice."

I sagged in the chair, glancing toward the door as if Cheverie would burst through it. "I always have a choice; Jin says so."

"Jin this, Jin that; Jin isn't here right now, and I'm making you a pretty princess. Besides," she added teasingly. "I'm sure he would love to see you like this, all dolled up. Does Namjoon doll you up? He's definitely the type to."

"Doll me up?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"Doll you up." She opened a lip-gloss. "You know; dress you up nice and pretty—preferably in pink because it matches your color palette, seriously—sit you down, tell you how nice you look, all for him, then take all your clothes off."

I blinked rapidly. "Wh—what?"

"He does it, doesn't he?" She grinned. "I do it to one of my guys from my hometown; he digs it."

"I don't want to talk about this," I begged with pink cheeks. "Anything else, please."

"Fine," she groaned. "But I know what you all do; you're not sneaky."

"Lyric," I whined.

"What?" She grinned. "I'm done." Pivoting me to the mirror, she squealed. "What do you think?"

My lips parted with surprise—and awe. "You made me look pretty."

"You're already pretty." She slapped my shoulder. "I just accentuated your features."

"I'm pretty," I breathed out, watching my glossed lips pull into a giddy smile. "Can we—can you take a picture of me?"

"Why?" she teased. "Who are you going to show it to?"

"I wanted a picture for me," I insisted, embarrassed. "Lyric."

"Just you?"

"None of your business!"

She laughed and pulled her phone from her pocket. "Say, 'Polyamory'!"

My lips turned downward. "Lyric."

"Baby, I'm supporting you."

"You're embarrassing me," I confuted, strained.

"Okay, okay. Say 'Cheese'!"

I smiled awkwardly. "Cheese."

"Adorable." She beamed, typing away on her phone until she put it away.

Confused, I said, "I didn't hear a click."

"Yup!" She grabbed the curling iron. "It was a video, and now your entire harem has it."

My lips parted. "What?"

"I sent the video to your harem."

"You have their numbers?" I asked, surprised. "You—you sent them a video of me?"

"Yes, I did," she sang. "I stole their numbers off your phone."

"Lyric!" I panicked.

"Come on. You look great! They'll blow up your phone soon asking to see more." She wiggled her brows as she brought the curling iron to my hair. "I'll stop teasing now, I promise, and I'll take a pretty picture of you once your hair is curled."

I stared at her, then at the curler, and before it reached my hair, I blurted, "I don't want you to have their numbers."

"Do you think I'm going to flirt with them? Because like I said, seven men at once isn't my type. I tap out at four. No, you know what? Four's generous." She twisted her lips. "Three and a half."

"Three and a—what are you—" I put my hands up when she tried to curl my hair.

"Fae, we have to get going if we want enough time to sip coffee and book shop, so—"

"I'm trying to set a boundary!"

She lifted a brow. "A boundary?"

"Yes," I insisted, high-pitched. "Jin says I can set them, and I've set them with him and the others, so I—I'm going to set them with you, so just let me. Okay?"

She jutted her hip out. "Hit me."

"Hit you?" My eyes widened. "No, I—I don't want to hit you."

She bit back a smile. "I meant you can hit me as in, go ahead and set your boundary. You know; the saying."

"Oh." I nodded quickly. "Right. Okay. So...I'm going to set my boundary now."

"All righty."

I took a deep breath before rushing out, "It makes me uncomfortable that you have their phone numbers, so I don't want you to have them."

"Okay." She shrugged, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Tilting it towards me, she showed me each of their contacts—and how she blocked and deleted them from her phone. "There; deleted and blocked."

I faltered. "Really?"

"Really." She lifted the curling iron. "Can we do this now? I want to go hang out somewhere Cheverie isn't."

"I...I only had to say it once," I said slowly. "And you listened."

"Uh...yeah." She laughed a bit. "I'm your friend, little goof. I tease you, sure, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. I've gotten in trouble for my humor before with old friends, and I've learned from it." She shook her head, cracking a grin. "A little, at least. I just thought it would be good to have their numbers for emergencies. You know; the just in case times."

"Oh." I tilted my head. "Okay. That makes sense."

"Yeah, but don't worry; no more having your boyfriends' phone numbers in my phone." Her eyes gestured to the curling iron. "Now?"

I sat up straighter. "Yeah. And...it's okay if you tease me, but just...not so much, okay?"

She clicked her tongue twice. "You got it."

I started to smile. "Thanks."

"Yup, yup, now stay still so I don't burn your neck. I'm not very qualified for this."

"Then why do you have a curling iron?" I asked, slightly terrified.

"Oh, this?" She laughed shortly before growing very serious. "I stole it."

"What?"

"From Cheverie," she said cheerily. "Now stay still."

"Lyric," I scolded. "You have to ask permission before using things."

She scoffed. "Listen here, lady. Cheverie steals my shit all the time, including my food, even when I label them with sticky notes in bold, red letters saying, 'Don't fucking touch my shit!'. She's a loser, and she deserves for her curling iron to go to good use; on you!"

"That's not nice."

"Well, she's not nice, so I'm her karma."

Cheverie banged on the door. "What's that burning smell?" When neither Lyric or I responded, she yelled, "Put the curling iron down, Lyric Beasley!"

"Back away from the door, Cheverie Leeson, and I'll think about not eating your leftovers when you're at work tonight."

Cheverie rapped on the door viciously before she kicked it.

Lyric tsked. "Did you do that with your foot? So unhygienic."

"Shut up!"

I winced at the volume, even with my earplugs. "Can we just go? I don't need to curl my hair."

"Listen to the harem girl," Cheverie snapped.

"Harem girl," I squeaked.

"Yes," Lyric grumbled, shoving the curling iron back into its drawer. "That's you." Grabbing my hand, she tugged me up. "Let's go."

She tugged me out of the bathroom, and I managed an apology to Cheverie as she furiously pointed at my face of makeup.

"How does she know it's her makeup I used?" I asked in surprise as Lyric and I walked to her car.

"She wears it all the time," she explained. "Us women just know."

"Oh." I watched my sneakers as I walked. "Right."

"We're going to have so much fun," she chatted excitedly. "What coffee are you getting? I'm thinking a latte. Ugh, I love lattes. What do you want? It's on me."

"Oh. I...don't know."

"Pick something! You have to have the perfect cup of coffee in order to find the perfect book; it's Science." She opened the car door. "Or something." She winked as she sat in the driver's seat. "Let's go have fun."

By the time we arrived at the book store with an adjoining coffee shop, my face felt strange. I could feel the makeup sitting on it, could feel the texture of each product Lyric put on me, and at first, I tried to ignore it. It made me look pretty, made me feel cool that I was finally wearing it, but I quickly became squeamish, and panic arose.

"Lyric," I said in a strained whisper. "Am I supposed to feel the makeup?"

She glanced at me from our spot in line for coffee. "Uh, yeah? It's on your face, so yeah. You're supposed to feel it."

I blinked. "Oh."

She squinted. "Does it feel weird?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah."

"It's your first time." She patted my shoulder. "You'll be fine."

"But it's on my face," I whispered.

"Yeah, babe. That's generally where makeup goes."

Moving up in line, I tried to remain calm, but it felt like something was engraved in my face.

"Lyric," I whispered urgently.

"One latte please," Lyric chirped to the worker after complimenting her acrylic nails. They were pretty, and I found my attention latching on them as Lyric continued, "But make it with oat milk and three shots of espresso instead of two." She beamed. "Thank you; you're a doll."

There was a beat of silence, and Lyric nudged me. "Your turn, Fae."

I jumped a bit with surprise. "Same thing."

"Really?" Lyric grinned. "You have great taste." She linked arms with me, asking the barista, "Doesn't she?"

The barista blushed at Lyric's prolonged attention and laughed as she entered our order into the POS. "Great choice," she agreed. "And the matching makeup you both chose is great; goes with your clothes, too."

"Thank you." Lyric nudged me again. "See? Women."

I accepted my drink with thanks, and trailed after Lyric as we browsed through books.

"I'm thinking dark romance," she commented, linking her arm with mine and steering me toward the section. "Mafia romance, maybe? I heard this one called 'The Mafia's Captive' is good. It's about this girl named Florence who gets kidnapped by these Mafia dudes, but plot twist, they're actually the good guys. That's all I know, but doesn't it sound kinda fire?"

She sighed dreamily. "I love dark romance; morally grey characters are my favorites." She bumped my hip with hers. "What about you; what's your favorite genre?"

"Oh. Maybe...romance? But...romance where both characters have intricate backstories. Kind of sad, but in the end, they're finally happy after everything they've been through."

She put a hand to her heart. "That's so sweet." She trailed the spine of a book with a laugh. "You make me sound like an asshole."

"No," I refuted, struggling not to touch my face. "I'm sure dark romance is good, too. I just don't like reading scary things."

"Well, how 'bout I read it and tell you what it's about, but I sugar coat all the scary things so it doesn't scare you?"

I smiled a bit. "I can handle it; I just don't want to."

She whistled. "Bad ass chick."

We book shopped and chatted, and with each minute, I was inwardly panicking. I wanted the makeup off, and I wanted it off now. But Lyric had gone out of her way to apply it, and the barista complimented us, and I looked pretty; really pretty. But I didn't feel pretty; I felt like I was spiraling.

I made it through the hangout, and she dropped me off at the guys' house for dinner. I waved goodbye and ran inside, breathing heavily as I used the key copy they had made for me.

Hoseok, stationed near the couch, looked up when he heard me, and a slow smile spread onto his face. "Hey, sweetheart. Did you have fun on your day out with Lyric?" He neglected his phone as his smile remained. "You look beautiful."

I touched my face. "Thank you." I looked at my fingers, hoping to see any kind of residue, but nothing was there.

"Hoseok." My voice was high pitched. "Can you help me take it off?"

"Take what off?"

"The makeup." I wanted to buzz out of my skin. "Please. I—I need to take it off."

"Okay, that's fine." He slipped his phone in his pocket and stood. "We can take it off."

"Do we use water and soap?" I asked anxiously, rubbing my cheek frantically. "It's not coming off."

"We'll get it off," he promised, in front of me in seconds. "We'll use makeup remover."

"Makeup remover?" I nodded. "Yes, please, let's use that."

"We will," he soothed, taking my hand.

He led me to his room, and in his bathroom, he pulled out a packet of wipes. "We'll use these first, okay? Then we'll use soap and water."

"Hurry, hurry, please," I begged. "I need it off."

"Okay, sweetheart, it's okay." His brows knitted together as he took my chin in his hands and angled it upward. "Stay still for me; I'll take care of it."

I did as he said, holding my breath as he wiped my face.

"Breathe," he reminded gently. "You're okay."

I took my first breath, and with it came the threat of tears.

Hoseok took note of them swimming in my eyes, and although his brows tugged, he chose not to speak on it, instead focusing on cleaning my face.

Finally, he turned the sink on and poured soap onto his hands. "Almost done, I promise." He cupped my face in his soapy hands. "Close your eyes."

I listened, causing tears to fall in the process.

"Almost done," he repeated, gently lathering my face with soap. "Just focus on your breathing for me, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered.

He brought me close to to the sink to rinse off the soap, and when he brought the towel to dab my face, my relief appeared within the flow of my tears.

"Thank you," I kept repeating.

"It's okay," he said after every one of my thanks. "You're okay."

He applied moisturizer, and it felt okay; soothing even, and once he was done, I hugged him tightly.

"Done," I whispered. "It's all off. All off."

"It's all off," he agreed, clasping the back of my neck and squeezing firmly enough for my eyes to flutter contentedly.

I pushed my face in the crook of his neck, took a deep breath, and didn't let go.

"How about we take a little break?" he murmured. "The others are out shopping, but they'll be back with takeout in an hour or so. Do you want to stay in bed with me until then? Does that sound good?"

I nodded, clinging to him as he lifted me in his arms and took me to his bed. Beneath his blankets, I curled up beside him, burying my face in his chest as my chest heaved.

Rubbing my back reassuringly, he kissed my forehead, murmuring against it, "You're okay, sweetheart. Deep breaths, okay? I'm right here."

I pushed my body flush against his, and finally, his warmth began to settle my trembling. Then, and only then, did an ounce of relaxation seep into my form. It began slowly, tortuously slow, and I was stuck with my mind yelling at me that I was fine; to get up and speak and get over it. It was just makeup; women wore it all the time, so I should have been able to.

It didn't feel fine; nothing about it felt fine.

"You're quiet," he said softly after a significant amount of time had passed. "Are you having a little trouble speaking right now?"

I nodded, relieved he understood.

"Okay," he soothed. "That's okay; you don't need to talk. Can you just nod and shake your head for me? Just once or twice, I promise; that's all I need."

I nodded.

"Good," he praised, squeezing my waist. "Were you safe with Lyric? No one hurt you?"

I nodded quickly, upset that I'd made him worry.

"Good," he said, holding me a little tighter. "That's good, sweetheart; thank you for telling me. Can you nod if she overwhelmed you?"

I hesitated, knowing it wasn't her fault, and confused, I nodded and shook my head.

"She didn't hurt you?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Okay." He kissed my forehead again. "That's all I need to know for now; you can keep being quiet right here with me. Everything's fine, okay? Your words will come back when they're ready; there's no rush."

His words caused relief to course through me rapidly, and the effects of it made me slump in his arms, exhausted.

"Oh, there you are," he murmured, squeezing me firmly. "Getting nice and relaxed."

I breathed deeply, and still clinging to him, I closed my eyes and focused on every breath I took, trying to make each longer and steadier than the last.

By the time my breathing was back to normal and I was half-asleep on Hoseok's chest, someone knocked on his door, revealing themselves as Yoongi when he announced, "We're home."

Hoseok caressed my hair, lowering his hands to cover my ears as he called back as quietly as he could, "We'll eat later."

Yoongi remained. "Faeryn is with you?"

"She's with me."

"We are watching a movie with dinner."

"Not right now, Yoongi, but thank you for telling us."

"All right." His footsteps retreated, and pained, I lifted my face, pointed to the door, and waved.

Hoseok asked, "Do you want to say hi?"

I nodded, then shook my head, flustered.

He seemed to understand, and with his hands still over my ears, he called, "Faeryn says hi."

Yoongi's footsteps halted. A second later, he responded, "Hello."

I signed, "Later."

"She says she'll see you later," Hoseok relayed.

Yoongi's voice, although muffled by the door, was comforting. Just like his music. Just like him. "All right," he agreed.

To Hoseok, I signed, "I like Yoongi."

He smiled softly. "I know." Kissing my nose, he inquired, "How are you feeling? Nod for dinner now, shake your head for later."

I shook my head.

"Nod for sleep, shake your head for no," he instructed.

I nodded.

"Okay." He collected me back into his arms. "You can sleep; I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

I nodded gratefully, and kissing his neck, I fell asleep shortly after.

꧁꧂

"Hey!" Taehyung greeted when Hoseok and I entered the living room two hours later.

Everyone was spread out watching a movie with buckets of popcorn and soda.

Jungkook showed a toothy grin from where he was sitting next to Namjoon. "We're watching Iron Man."

I smiled back at him, signing, "Awesome."

"Are you hungry?" Jin asked me as he analyzed my features quickly. I wondered if Namjoon spoke to him about the panic I held surrounding the 'boyfriend' title. He said he would; said he would tell everyone not to bring it up until I was ready to, but I wondered if he had done it already. I was too nervous to ask, not knowing what I would do with a negative or positive response, so I left it alone, experiencing a verbal shutdown already. "We have take-out in the fridge."

I shook my head, no longer sleepy but still tired, and climbed onto the couch to sit next to Taehyung.

He put his arm around my waist and hugged me, nudging his head against mine. "Missed you."

I signed, "Me too."

"Tired?" he signed. "Not talking?"

"Overstimulated today," I signed back. "Can't talk now."

"Okay," he signed. "No talking. Hugging?"

I smiled slightly and hugged him in response, evoking his smile.

Jungkook talked animatedly about scenes in the movie as they happened, and Namjoon listened attentively while coursing his fingers through the former's hair and occasionally squeezing his inner thigh.

Namjoon looked at me every so often, gauging me and my silence, and when I caught his eye, he dipped his chin, mouthing, "Okay?"

I nodded, and although he didn't seem to be satisfied leaving it that, he did, nodding in return and refocusing on the movie and Jungkook.

With Hoseok and Taehyung keeping me between them, I settled into the normality of the scene and relaxed. It didn't happen all at once, more so piece by piece, but eventually, my tongue didn't feel like lead, and my stomach alerted me of my hunger.

Standing, I started my journey to the kitchen when everyone raised in question, "Where are you going?"

I jumped slightly, surprised at the sudden volume, and turned to sign, "Eat."

Some of them had leaned forward on the couch, and at my response, Namjoon, Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok stood.

I blinked.

"I'll heat it up," Jimin told them, walking toward me before they could deny him. "Sit back down."

I signed with furrowed brows, "I don't want to sit down."

"Not you, honey." He grabbed my hand with a smile, leading me into the kitchen as the others slowly sat back down. "You're coming with me."

In the kitchen, I tried to retrieve the take-out, but he did it first, telling my scrunched up nose, "I know you can do it, but so can I, and I like doing it. Let me take care of you; I haven't seen you all day."

I relented easily, smiling shyly as I nodded.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. "Thank you."

Reheating my food in the microwave, he wondered, "Do you want some tea with your food?"

I showed a thumbs-up.

"Take-out, tea in your strawberry cup, and a straw coming right up," he announced. Retrieving the kettle, he paused and relinquished a sigh. "I forgot."

I raised questioning brows.

"I forgot," he continued, "about the recharge system."

"What?" I signed.

"Three kisses," he told me with a shake of his head. "Without three kisses, I won't have enough energy to do all of these tasks, and oh, honey, do you want me to run out of energy?"

I grinned at his easy teasing and hurried to him, looping my arms around his neck and kissing him three times in quick succession before deepening the fourth kiss.

"Mm," he voiced his appreciation when I pulled away, swiping his tongue over his lip. "Delicious. And look at that; I'm recharged."

I beamed, signing, "I like you."

He chuckled fondly, signing, "I like you, too."

I side-hugged him all around the kitchen while he brewed tea and re-heated the take-out for me.

"How about you sit with me in the living room?" he suggested with a sly smile. "Leave Hoseok and Taehyung wanting and let me hold you."

I blushed and showed another thumbs-up.

He chuckled. "Good."

With my strawberry cup in hand while Jimin handled my take-out serving, we walked back to the living room. I waved to Hoseok and Taehyung, earning a wave in return, and I curled next to Jimin on the couch, now between him and Jin.

Jin immediately put a hand on my waist, and he kept it there while I ate as Jimin massaged my neck and pressed kisses to it. They alternated kissing the side of my head, and as the minutes passed, I tilted my head side to side so they could alternate kissing my neck. I delved into it, enjoying the heat of their lips and firm touches on my waist, hips, and inner thighs.

With a content sigh, I closed my eyes, preening when Jimin squeezed my inner thigh and rubbed circles in it with his thumb.

With fluttering eyes, I tried to stay awake, but between them, I felt safe, and safety translated to the freedom to sleep.

I wasn't sure where to lay my head, so I laid it against the back of the couch, earning Jin and Jimin more access to my neck.

"Tired," I signed before cupping either side of their face and keeping them to me.

"Do you want us to stop?" Jin asked lowly.

I shook my head.

"Then just relax," Jimin instructed. "We'll carry you to bed when the movie's over."

"Thank you," I signed, and as I sunk further into the couch and their touch, my hands fell away from their face and onto their thighs. Clutching their pants, I fell asleep in a dreamy haze, their kisses making it easier to do so.

꧁꧂

I could do it; I could do this.

Propping my phone on my apartment bed, I used the small mirror I bought at the makeup store to view my face. A YouTube video was pulled up of a makeup tutorial, I had makeup and multiple different types of makeup removals.

I learned all the names, and determined, I pressed play on the video.

Foundation and primer were easy, and I continued to ignore how it immediately began to feel uncomfortable.

The eye makeup was difficult, and I had to redo the eyeliner multiple times, and the color on my lids looked smudged and messy.

Forty-five minutes later, I launched into the panic attack that had been building since I began. Frantically grabbing the makeup remover, I furiously wiped my face, stumbling off my bed into my bathroom for the soap.

Once done, I slumped onto the floor beside the toilet and cried.

Ten minutes later, I got up and tried again.

When I came back from my outing with Lyric a few days ago and eventually spoke again the next day, I explained to Hoseok what happen. He was understanding like he always was, and he listened intently when I explained.

"It's okay to be overwhelmed," he told my anxious expression. "It was a new texture, something you weren't used to, and it threw you off. That's okay; it's your bodies natural reaction to it. It viewed it as a threat."

He understood, but I didn't want to understand. I refused to understand.

Women wore makeup all the time, and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to look pretty and wear lipstick without it causing a panic attack; I just wanted to be like them.

Now, back on my bed, I had tried five times to apply different makeup brands to see if they all had the same effect, and they did; I vomited on the fifth application.

Grabbing my bag, I pulled my sneakers on and went back to the beauty store to find more brands.

꧁꧂

"What are you doing?" Jungkook asked cheerily over Facetime.

He called twenty minutes before 7 PM, and now it was 7:30 PM. I was exhausted, my face was burning and irritated from hours of makeup removal and application, and I wanted to sleep; I was irritated.

"Getting ready for bed," I told him. "Right now."

"Are you watching TV tonight on your phone?" he wondered. "Namjoon and I are going to read again. I could keep you on Facetime if you want; it could be like you're here with us."

"Not tonight." I face planted in my pillow. "I'm tired."

"Maybe another night," he said, undeterred. "You're not watching TV, then?"

"Not tonight."

"Okay. No reading and no TV. Are you crocheting?"

"Not tonight."

"What are you going to do then?" he wondered.

"Sleep."

"Oh. When are you—"

"Now."

"Right now?" He sounded confused. "But we're Facetiming."

"Jungkook," I said, strained. "Need sleep."

"Are you okay?"

"Jungkook," I said through my teeth. "Hanging up."

His voice raised a pitch. "Are you mad?"

"Jungkook," I ground out. "Hang. Up."

"But you're—Faeryn, are you mad?" he persisted. "Can I help? I don't want you to be mad—"

I reached over, feeling guilty even before I hung up on him.

Finding my last bit of energy, I texted, "Not mad. Overstimulated. Promise."

I put my phone on airplane mode, buried my face in my pillow, and passed out.

꧁꧂

"Faeryn."

I looked up from the computer at reception, watching as Jungkook ran up to me out of breath with messy hair.

"I have an idea," he panted.

"Hi," I managed to input before he was talking again.

"It's an idea for when you're overwhelmed and don't want to talk," he continued. "So you don't have to use energy to tell me you're not mad." He nodded eagerly. "Do you want to hear it?"

I managed a smile through the overbearing guilt I felt for abruptly hanging up on him last night. "Okay."

"Okay!" He put both hands on my desk, leaning over it slightly. "You do have dinosaurs here; Namjoon said you did."

I inched them back. "Yeah."

"They're nice," he said appreciatorily, then paused. "So, we should come up with a code word for you to say. Then I'll know you're not mad, you don't have to worry about me thinking you're mad, and you can rest." He waited expectantly. "What do you think?"

"Jungkook," I murmured, floored. "That's a really good idea."

"Really?" he breathed out, relieved. "I thought about it when I was trying to sleep last night."

"It's a great idea," I insisted determinedly. "And we'll do it; you and me."

"You and me," he confirmed as his features brightened. "I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you last night."

"It's okay," I rushed to tell him as my guilt heighted. "It wasn't your fault at all, I promise. I was just...overwhelmed."

"Do you want to talk about it? I can talk about it; I'm good at talking about it."

"I don't really want to talk about it," I admitted.

"Okay," he agreed good-naturedly. "Do you want to come up with a code word? One super easy to say?"

"Okay." My eyes darted around in thought. "How about...coral?"

"Coral?"

"Lyric has a decoration of it from a beach vacation she took." I lifted a duplicate she'd brought me. "She got me one."

He grinned. "Okay, then you'll say coral."

"You too, if you ever need to."

"Okay," he agreed. "I have to go back upstairs, but—" He paused. "Are you wearing lipstick?"

My next smile was a wince. "Yeah."

"It's pretty," he complimented. "It's a nice color."

I'd put it on this morning; I could feel it sinking further into my lips. There wasn't a second that I didn't want to remove it.

"Thanks," I said.

"I have one that looks like it," he let me know with a little shrug. "Pink."

The thought made my smile more real. "You do?"

"Yeah." He turned a pretty shade of red, and lowering his voice to a whisper, he added, "Namjoon puts it on me sometimes."

Heat flashed through me. "He does?"

"Yeah." He blinked rapidly, shifting from foot to foot. "He says I look pretty in it."

I shivered. "Oh."

"He...he really liked how you looked in the video Lyric sent," he told me quietly, making sure no one was around to hear us. "He saved it and kept talking about how pretty you are."

"Pretty," I repeated, feeling dizzy. "He said I was pretty?"

"So pretty, and—and you are. So pretty." He took a stammered breath. "You looked so pretty in that video."

"Thanks for telling me," I managed. "That I'm pretty, and that Namjoon thought so, too."

"Yeah," he said, as breathless as I was. "Can...well, why weren't you wearing it when you got home? After you were in Hoseok's room with him?"

"Oh, we...we didn't—" I trailed off. "Did everyone think that we were—?"

"Having sex?" His eyes widened. "I don't know; I just thought so because you were both in there for so long."

"Did Hoseok say he wanted to?" And I'd taken the makeup off; had he wanted to have sex because I looked pretty in makeup? Had I ruined it by panicking? "Did he say?"

"No," he revealed. "I didn't ask him, but I just thought that you both did it."

I tensed. "Oh."

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "Because I could stay—"

"I'm okay," I told him quickly. "But you should go before you get in trouble. Thanks—thanks again."

"Okay," he responded, unconvinced. "Is this a...coral?"

"No," I assured him. "It's not a coral."

"Okay, because you were just—I mean, we were just talking, but you seem a little upset."

"No, no, I'm not upset at you," I reassured. "I promise, okay? I won't ever lie to you about that; it's not nice."

He relaxed a bit. "Okay. Thank you. But...you're okay, or you...you just don't want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I confirmed.

"Okay." He nodded quickly. "But I'll see you later? After work?"

"After work," I promised. "And thanks for the code work; coral is really cool."

"Thanks," he said with a shy smile.

When he was gone, I applied more lip stick. I had to get used to it; I ruined what could've been something special between Hoseok and me; I needed to get over myself.

I had to get over myself.

 

I didn't go home with them; I had Lyric take me to the beauty shop to help me choose more makeup, and in my apartment, I tried different products until I passed out with runny mascara and swollen eyes from tears, but I would get over myself. I could do it; I was strong. And I would try again in the morning.

I tried again before work, and when Lyric picked me up, she said I looked nice. I wore a lip gloss and lipstick combination, primer and foundation, and eyeliner.

I felt like a clown. I was sure I looked like one, too.

I took the makeup off before I clocked in and cried a little in the bathroom.

My face hurt. I was exhausted. I resorted to simple yes and no responses and a minimal nod.

At break, I typed a note in my phone to show Lyric; can you do my makeup like the other night?

"Sure," she chirped. "When? And why aren't you talking?"

Overwhelmed, I typed.

"You can't talk when you're overwhelmed? Oh, oh. Is that because of the Autism?"

I nodded.

"Well, are you okay?" she wondered. "Do you want to talk about it? Well. Not talk about it since you can't, but type about it. Yeah? Type about it?"

I shook my head, pointing to my first message again.

"Okay," she agreed. "When? Now?"

Please? I typed. In the bathroom?

"Okay, sure." She hopped up. "Come on; I have some of Cheverie's makeup in my purse."

My makeup was done; she worked fast, and I fed her a sandwich while she did.

"There!" she announced. "Prepped and pretty." She snickered. "That was an innuendo if I ever heard one, and I've heard 'em; I've heard 'em all."

She put her makeup away. "Well? What do you think?"

I showed two thumbs-up, startling when my phone went off with another text.

"You should text them back," she sang. "They missed their precious lunch with you."

I texted them back an apology and hesitated, pushing my phone toward Lyric.

"You want me to take a picture of you?" she asked, squealing when I nodded. "Are we going to send it to them? Oh, we are? YESSSSS!"

She held my phone. "Say 'Cheese'! Or...just smile because you can't talk right now! Woo!"

I tried to do my best smile.

"Sent it!" she declared. "They'll love it."

She returned my phone to me and pulled me up. "Let's get back to work."

The rest of my shift was torturous in makeup, but I looked pretty, and my texts were full of compliments from the guys; that made me feel better.

When they exited the elevator after work ended, smiles filled their faces at the sight of me.

"Beautiful, beautiful," Jimin said in an undertone when they reached me, his smile prominent as he took me in. "Look at you, honey. You did this with Lyric on your break? Hm? Did you have fun?"

I nodded, looping my arm with his and holding on tight. Beautiful. I was beautiful, he said. I wish I felt beautiful instead of an imposter.

"What's for dinner?" Jungkook wondered, his eyes glued to mine. "You have...you're..." He swallowed. "Pretty."

I blushed, signing, "You too."

My signing caught all of their attention, but Namjoon was the first to ask, "Overwhelmed?"

"I'm fine," I signed, letting my thumb meet my chest as my fingers pressed together and faced upward to complete the sign. "Food?"

"We'll eat dinner when we get home," he confirmed, watching me carefully. "Did something happen today? You okay?"

"Fine," I signed again. "Food?"

"At home," he reiterated.

I nodded and clung to Jimin's arm, wishing I could hide my face in his arm but knowing it would cause my makeup to ruin his clothes. Instead, I walked stiffly and prepared myself for later; what I planned to do to make it up to Hoseok.

Dinner was slower than usual, everyone seemed louder, even with my earplugs on, and every sound made me wince in pain. Squirming in my seat, I struggled to take deep breaths, but I kept trying. I looked beautiful, and the longer I kept the makeup on, maybe I would get used to it; maybe I would be a woman, too.

"Everything okay?" Hoseok asked from beside me.

I nodded before I could fully process his question, and gripping my spoon tightly, I stabbed it into my mashed potatoes and pushed them into my mouth.

He rubbed my back. "Yeah? Okay?"

I nodded again, swallowing my food and going for another spoonful, determined to finish it all without vomiting.

"Sweetheart," he said, pushing my hair to rest on one of my shoulders. "You look like you're about to be sick."

I shook my head quickly before the nausea put me to a halt, and closing my eyes, I took a stammered breath and signed, "I'm fine."

"All right," he conceded slowly, watching me closely. "I'm right here if you need anything; we all are."

I stared resolutely at my potatoes.

Soon, I could take the makeup off; right after I made it up to Hoseok, and after dinner, I could do that.

Taking Hoseok's hand once everyone finished dinner, I led him upstairs to his room and closed the door behind us.

"Hey," he murmured, watching as I sat on his bed. "Did you want to talk about something? You've been quiet."

I patted the bed, a silent request for him to join me. Sitting beside me, he angled his face to look into mine.

"Okay?" he asked. "Hm? What's going on?"

Cupping his face, I kissed him, inhaling sharply once our lips met. He kissed me back, but when I tried to deepen the kiss, he pulled away. Brows tugging together, he began, "Faeryn, let's—"

I tried to kiss him again, but he kept a hold of my shoulders, using them to keep me still.

"Faeryn," he repeated, confused yet firm. "As much as I love kissing you, let's talk for a second first."

"Why?" I signed as my chest heaved.

"Because," he said softly. Concerned. "You're not speaking, Faeryn, and I'm not comfortable going further than kissing you when something is clearly wrong."

Clearly wrong; I was clearly wrong, and even with the makeup, it wasn't enough. I should've done it when Lyric put it on me the first time, but I'd ruined it. I ruined everything.

"No one will want you," Ryker sneered down at me. "Look at you, Fae. You're used up, ugly, and no one wants to wait until you can form a sentence. You think this is wrong, what I'm doing to you? It's what you deserve."

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his social media feed, showcasing beautiful women with beautiful makeup.

"See them?" he snickered. "These are women I could love. You? You're a footstool; you're here to make me feel better when I've had a shitty day, and even then, you do a shit job of it.

"Here." He pulled out a lipstick from his pocket. "A woman I fucked the other day left this." He smeared it onto my lips, pushing it into my cheeks, lips, and chin. Snickering, he pulled away, satisfied with his work. "Do you know what you look like?"

My lip trembled. "Pretty?"

He laughed, sharp and cruel. "You look like a pig wearing makeup."

I left Hoseok's bed. "No talking," I signed. "Finished."

"Faeryn," he entreated, standing with me. "Sweetheart, you can talk to me. Whatever's going on, we can either talk it through or sit until you feel like you can. Either way, I'm here; I'm right here."

"No," I signed heatedly. "No talking. I'm a pig."

"You're a what?" he asked, confused. "I'm sorry; I'm not sure what the last sign means."

I shook my head and went for his door, but he made it to me before I could open it.

"Faeryn." He peered into my face, taking note of my averted gaze. "Please talk to me."

I shook my head frantically. "I have to go," I signed.

"I don't want you to leave like this," he returned, conflicted. "I can't stop you, Faeryn; it's your decision, but let me drive you to your apartment at least. I don't want you taking the bus this late; it's not safe."

"Stop," I signed. "No."

He hesitated, looking torn. "Sweetheart, please. I'm worried about you, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to leave alone like this."

"Stop, stop, stop," I signed, starting to panic; knowing he could see how I looked—like a pig in makeup.

Someone knocked on the door. "Open," Jin commanded. "Now."

Hoseok kept me in his worried gaze as he unlocked the door, and as soon as he did, I tried to run but bumped into Jin who took me back inside and closed the door behind all three of us.

"What is going on?" he demanded to know, lowering himself to my height. "What overwhelmed you and why are you insisting on leaving without one of us driving you?"

"Stop," I signed. "Go away."

"I am not 'going away'," he refuted firmly. "And unless one of us takes you to your apartment, neither are you, do you understand me? I won't allow you to take a bus at night whether you want to or not, and you can hate me for it, but you will not take a bus and that is final. Am I understood, Faeryn?"

"Go away!" I signed, shaking my head desperately. "Go away!"

"We will not go away," he denied me. "Now if you can't explain what's going or choose not to, you can stay in the guest room until you feel like it or until the morning when we drive you to work."

I tried to make my tongue work with my mouth, and when it refused, I released a shout instead. Nothing said. Just a shout.

Jin didn't flinch. Neither did Hoseok. And the former said, "Don't stop on my account." When I stared at him, my chest rising quickly, he crossed his arms and jutted his chin outward. "Go ahead, Faeryn. I can handle it; yell."

I tried to yell at him, tried to yell for him to go away and leave me alone before I physically transformed into the pig with lipstick smeared on its lips, but nothing happened. Nothing left me, but everyone left me. That's what Ryker said; everyone left me. It was my destiny to always be alone.

Confusion; there was so much confusion, and there was so much pain. Jin and Hoseok said they cared about me before, so did the others, but it had only been five months of knowing me. They'd barely hit the ice berg of everything there was to hate about me.

"Why are you doing this?" I cried. "You said you loved me."

"That was before I hit the iceberg of everything there is wrong with you; everything there is wrong about you." Ryker laughed. "Oh, Faeryn. Did you think anybody could ever actually love  you ?"

Yes. I had. Once.

I'd been stupid enough to believe it. My parents and grandparents told me I was loveable, they loved me, but everyone else always had trouble loving me. Ryker said it was because they were related to me; that's why they loved me. Because they were obligated to.

I couldn't yell. I couldn't speak. So I released another singular shout.

Jin lowered his chin. "I'm listening."

Furiously, I signed, "I'm not saying anything."

"You don't need words to convey how you're feeling; you're shouting, and I'm listening."

Hoseok nodded. "Do whatever you need to do to feel it, Faeryn. We're right here."

My fingers balled into fists, digging deep into my palms, and peeved, I shouted and shouted until my voice cracked like I was doing deep within.

Hate you, I wanted to say. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

I hated Ryker, but there was no one I hated more than myself.

"Done," I signed, my features twisted and pained. "Done now. Done."

They weren't convinced but didn't negate me.

"What have you decided?" Jin prompted. "The guest room or being driven to your apartment?"

I didn't want to sit in a car with any of them; I wanted to be alone. No one could see me, then.

"Guest room," I signed. "Now."

He stepped away from the door. "Go."

I wiped my nose furiously as I side-stepped him and left the room, hurried down the hall, opened and closed the door to the guest room, and collapsed on the bed.

I cried and ruined my makeup.

But that was fine. I already felt ruined.

 

My door opened and closed quietly hours later. I didn't move or speak. I didn't look to see who it was.

The bed dipped, the blankets were pulled back, and weight settled from behind me as arms wrapped around me and tugged me close.

Taehyung.

I took his hand from where it rested on my stomach and held on. Neither of us spoke. That was fine. I still couldn't speak.

Morning came, I removed my makeup in the bathroom, and Taehyung drove me to work. In the car, he played Indie Folk on low volume, and I neglected my protein shake. I wasn't sure I could stomach it.

Work was tedious and long. I just wanted to sleep.

I didn't wear makeup, not today, and I lay my cheek against my desk as I struggled to stay awake.

Security was near the entrance/exit as usual, and I looked up every so often to ensure Ryker wasn't trying to get in. He wasn't, not yet at least and not today, but I kept looking. Just in case.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Taehyung asked when he entered my apartment with me after work.

I shook my head, went to my room, and climbed beneath the blankets, pulling them back for him to join me.

"Okay," he agreed. "We don't have to talk about it, but do you want to change into your pajamas? Have something for dinner? You didn't eat breakfast or lunch."

I shook my head.

"You could get sick," he said with a concerned frown. "How about a granola bar?"

"Don't like," I signed.

"Protein shake?" he suggested.

I shook my head.

When his features fell, I conceded and nodded.

"Really?" His smile was filled with relief. "I'll go get it for you, okay? Just relax."

I closed my eyes and clutched my blankets, listening to the comforting sound of Taehyung bustling around in the kitchen. The fridge opened and closed, the cap of the shake opened, and he appeared moments later with the shake and a straw.

"Hey," he murmured. "I have it."

Crouching down beside my bed, he put the straw to my lips and let me drink from it.

I signed my thanks as I drank, and exhausted, my head returned to my pillow shortly after.

"Tired," I signed.

"I know," he empathized. "But can you drink a little more?"

I accepted if not to keep his features from falling like before and took a few more sips.

"Thank you," he said softly, pushing his hand gently through my hair. "Do you want me to stay in your bed with you? I didn't bring a change of clothes."

I pulled back the blankets for him, and with a small smile, he joined me beneath them. Holding me in his arms, he kissed my forehead, murmuring against it, "Maybe we can crochet tomorrow at break; I'm almost done with Pikachu, and you can start on your strawberry bag."

I didn't respond. Just held him tighter.

"Okay." His voice was lost in my hair. "We'll talk about tomorrow when tomorrow happens."

I nodded.

"Are you tired enough to sleep?" he asked. "Or do you want to put on Camp Cretaceous and watch a few episodes before you're ready to sleep?"

I pointed at him, then signed, "Crochet."

"You want me to crochet?" he wondered, and when I wordlessly confirmed, he asked, "You don't want to? Just me?"

"I want to watch until I sleep," I signed.

"I don't have Pikachu here, but I can try and crochet something else with a YouTube video." He nodded determinedly. "I have my laptop in my bag, and I can use your crochet kit, if that's okay."

I nodded and pushed out a thumbs-up.

"Okay." He kissed my head. "Be right back."

Once he began crocheting Bulbasaur, I laid my head in his lap and watched his hands work in front of me. It was soothing to watch the familiar motions and be so near him, and although my stomach was wrecked with anxiety and my wrist was in a tremendous amount of pain, I managed to fall asleep within half an hour.

"How do you feel?" Taehyung asked, brushing his teeth in my bathroom as I showered the next morning.

"Okay," I rasped.

"Do you want your tooth brush?" he asked, then paused. "Do you brush your teeth in the shower."

"Sometimes."

"This time?"

"Okay."

He handed me my toothbrush and toothpaste, returning to the mirror as he rinsed his mouth out.

"What do you feel like for breakfast?" he asked. "We have an hour before work, so we could eat something here or stop by a cafe. What do you think?"

"I don't..." I took a stammered breath. "You pick?"

"Of course! Yeah, I can pick." He pulled his shirt over his head. "How about the place across the street from HYBE? HYBE has good coffee, sure, but the cafe across the street is top tier." He chuckled. "What do you think?"

"Good."

"Great!" He tugged his jacket over his shoulders. "I'll set your clothes out for you and put my shoes on. Are you okay in here? Do you need me to put your toothbrush back?"

"I can do it; I'm okay."

"Okay," he said cheerily. "I'll be in your room."

I brushed my teeth for a minute longer before rinsing my hair of shampoo and wrapping myself in a towel. Entering my room, I saw Taehyung sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me.

"Hey!" He smiled brightly. "I have everything laid out. Your phone's been blowing up with texts."

"What?" The air whooshed out of me. "Did you—did you check who it was?"

"No, I didn't check." He stood, gesturing to my bed. "I'll leave you to get dressed, okay?"

I managed a nod, gripping my towel tightly as he left the room, and with shaky hands, I picked up my phone.

Have a good day.

Have. A. Good. Day.

Have a good day.

I powered my phone off and dressed myself, throwing on a jacket to fend off the nippy September weather, and met Taehyung in the kitchen.

"Ready?" he asked, smiling as he looked over at me. When I nodded, he held out his hand to me as he wondered, "Was it Lyric?"

Dazed, I asked, "What?"

"On the phone," he elaborated. "Was she the one blowing your phone up?"

"Oh." My phone burned in my jeans. "It..." I blanked. "I was thinking about what to get at the cafe."

"Yeah?" His thumb swiped over my palm as we walked to the door. "Is it a tea or coffee kind of day?"

"You...you pick?"

"Okay," he agreed amicably as I locked the door behind us. "Do you like lattes? I know all of your favorite teas, but I need to step up my game to know your favorite coffees."

"Lattes are good," I assured, leaning my head on his side as we walked to his car. Quieter, I repeated, "Lattes are good."

Have a good day.

I shivered as we entered the chilly morning, gripping his hand tightly. "What are...what are you getting?"

"I like lattes," he said, fitting my jacket more securely around my shoulders. "I think today is a latte day. It's good, you know, that most coffee doesn't have honey in it."

I held him tighter. "Because it stings my throat."

"Because it stings your throat," he confirmed, lowering his hands from my shoulders to my waist. "It's nice that we had most of the morning off today; HYBE opening a little later was a nice break. Busy with meetings we don't have to be a part of."

He opened the door to shotgun for me. "It was nice that Chiksu got someone to take your morning shift so you could have the morning off, too. Whenever I see him, by the way, he always asks about you." He grinned. "Goes on and on about how you're his best employee."

I blinked as I buckled myself in. "Really?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" he teased with a kiss to my cheek. "Best."

"Best?"

"You're the best." With a parting grin, he closed the door to walk to his.

I made sure my phone was still powered off, and by the time he entered the car, I gathered enough control of my tongue to tell him, "I think I want a latte, too."

"Right?" He beamed as he started the car. "What did I say?"

I showed a miniature smile. "It's a latte kind of day."

With a big smile, he pulled us onto the main roads. "Oh, hey! Do you want to take my phone out of my jacket pocket? I took a picture of my Bulbasaur progress."

I nodded, retrieving his phone and holding it out to him for his password.

"59376," he told me without taking his eyes off the road.

Surprised, I faltered. "You...but now you'll have to change your password."

"What?" he asked, confused. "Why?"

"Because you told me it."

He glanced at me. "Well, I don't mind if you know it. My phone is your phone if you need to, so I probably should've told you the password sooner." He smiled sheepishly. "But it's all yours now." He pointed at it. "The photo gallery is in the tech folder on the top right."

"Oh." I blinked a few times. "That's...it's...okay."

"You crazy bitch," Ryker seethed, slapping me across the face. "Looking over my shoulder to catch me what, cheating on you?"

"No," I stammered. "I was—I was bored and wanted to spend time with you."

"Let me make it simple for you," he ground out. "Here." He shoved his phone into my hands. "Go through my phone."

"You can go through my phone," Taehyung told me. "I have a lot of cool pictures. Oh! And if you want, you can look on my social media; it's a secret account—not my main Taehyung from BTS account—and I follow a whole bunch of crochet accounts. Some of them have even given me crochet patterns so I can test it for them! And if you want, you can go through my Pinterest; you can save some ideas to our shared crochet board."

I scrolled through Ryker phones, trembling as he commanded I go through his DMs. It was full of naked photos of him and other women and multiple back and forth flirtatious texts.

"You don't cut it from me," he said cruelly. "They do, but you? You make me want to kill myself. Is that what you want? For me to kill myself?"

"No," I managed as my vision blurred with tears. "I—I don't want that."

"Then give me my phone back and go make yourself useful." He snatched his phone back. "Get me a sandwich."

"I brought sandwiches for lunch," Taehyung said as I mindlessly viewed his Bulbasaur photo. "Cheese for you and turkey for me, but there's always protein shakes in the break room in case you want that instead."

Have a good day.

I nodded numbly.

"What do you think?" he asked.

My glazed over eyes met his. "What?"

"About my Bulbasaur progress; what do you think? I thought I did a good job of decreases, but some of it looked a little off."

I slowly looked back at the photo, pinching the screen with my fingers to zoom in. "No, it's...it's good."

"Really? But do you see where I missed up?"

"It's still good." My voice dipped into a whisper as I pushed his phone back into his pocket. "The best."

"You don't want to look at my social media or Pinterest? There's really cool stuff on there, I promise."

I stared through the window shield. "I yelled at Hoseok and Jin last night."

He slowly turned the right signal on. "I know."

"Did they tell you?"

"They did," he confirmed, easing his foot on the gas pedal as the light turned green. "But they weren't mad, just in case you're worried."

"It's the second time I yelled at Jin." I leaned back in my seat, trying to calm the anxiety whirring in my stomach. "He and Hoseok were just trying to help, and I yelled at them."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay." I clutched my seatbelt tightly. "Best friends don't yell at each other; they communicate. Remember?"

"You were communicating the way you could," he consoled me. "Something's bothering you, and you yelled to get it out, but you didn't yell at them; you just yelled, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I could've signed."

"But you didn't. You yelled, and you didn't say anything mean or cruel or wrong. You just yelled."

"But...best friends don't yell at each other."

"At each other," he empathized. "But they can yell."

Confusion rendered me silent.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Okay," he agreed, falling silent for a moment. "Do you remember when we talked about not bottling things up?"

"I still don't want to talk about it."

"I know, and you don't have to, but when you yelled last night, some of what you're holding inside spilled out of the bottle."

"The...bottle?"

"The bottle you've been storing everything you're feeling in; that bottle, and it spilled over, and you yelled to try to get it out."

I put a hand to my stomach when nausea churned within it.

He turned the radio on to the Indie Folk station. "Oh look," he exclaimed. "It's one of your favorites." Singing along, he turned the heat up slightly and angled the vent to my shaking hands. "This song is growing on me."

Have a good day.

At work, I alternated between sips of my latte and checking the doors for Ryker. I neglected my shake for my latte at lunch, I didn't eat the vending machine cookies Taehyung bought for me, and I returned to experiencing a verbal shutdown during the last hour of my shift.

When I clocked out, all I could think was, I didn't have a good day.

Notes:

our poor Faeryn :((( she's going through a lot right now. Let's hope the guys are able to help—and that Ryker falls off a cliff 🥰

Chapter 20: Frozen In Your Arms

Summary:

EXTRA WEEKLY CHAPTER WHERE: Faeryn shuts down, unable to move and properly communicate. Her seven men hypothesize about what could be wrong.

Notes:

EXTRA WEEKLY CHAPTER‼️ I just like spoiling you guys 😋 Enjoy!!! <33

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Jin sat on the couch beside me. 

I inched away.

He leaned to the side I'd retreated to, and I stiffened, awaiting a scolding and retribution, but all that happened was a kiss to the side of my head. A kiss.

I glanced at him, perturbed.

He said nothing but met my gaze head-on, never once tearing his attention from mine. 

I swallowed roughly and watched as he tracked the movement.

He was kind, they all were, and I was ruining it. Defeated while knowing nothing could make up for last night, I lifted my fist to my chest and rubbed circles. Sorry.

He shook his head twice, didn't respond, and kissed my head again. Patting the area beside him, he lifted a brow.

He would feel me shaking and ask what was wrong, and afraid I would yell at him to leave me alone again because I couldn't tell him, I signed sorry again.

He patted the couch in response.

My lip turned downward. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

A muscle in his jaw ticked, and when he patted the couch again, it was with more force than before.

"No talking," I signed, my features pleading with him. "I don't want to yell."

"No talking," he signed. 

Shakily, I closed the space between us and let him wrap his arm around my side. Holding me protectively, he pressed his lips to my head and kept them there for a few seconds, breathing me in before pulling away.

"Mad?" I signed worriedly. "At me?"

"No," he signed in return. "I'm not mad."

I hesitated before singing, "Why?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," he spoke, his voice low and laced with rasp. "I'm not angry with you." With a firm hold on my waist, he squeezed. "We won't talk; I wasn't sure how to sign that sentence. That's why I spoke."

"It's okay," I signed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he resumed signing. 

"I'm so tired. I don't want to yell. I hate yelling."

"I know."

"Forgive me?"

He shook his head, speaking once more, "There's nothing to forgive."

"Please."

"There is nothing," he reiterated firmly, "to forgive."

I began to sign my protests when he kissed me firmly, cupping my face in his hands and applying a dizzying amount of pressure. Lowering one hand, he brought it to my chest and pressed down, earning a sharp inhale from me and a shudder of relief. 

The pressure felt grounding, like I could finally breathe, and I burst into tears, repeatedly signing my thanks before he took my hand and pressed it to my chest with his.

"You're all right." His nose brushed my cheek. "It's all right."

He kept his hand pressed against my chest, and I sobbed my relief, feeling everything from the past week intensely. 

It became overwhelming quickly, and gasping on my stammered breaths, I flapped my hands anxiously before gripping his shirt with a vengeance. 

"Breathe," he instructed, a light warning in his voice. "It will pass."

I thought Ryker had passed, I hoped he had, but he was back and tormenting me with texts, no matter how many of his duplicate phone numbers I blocked. He always came back; I was afraid he would never pass.

I shook my head frantically, terrified. 

"Yes," he reinstated firmly. "It will pass."

I tried to speak, tried to tell him why it wouldn't, but another pained cry left me, and my tongue continued to betray me.

He brought my vacant hand to his chest, and my heart stammered when I felt the steady beat of his. He angled his face to peer into mine, took note of my fearful expression, and instructed, "Copy my breathing. One"—he took an exaggerated deep breath—"two"—he dipped his chin; a silent instruction for me to follow along—"three."

I began to copy him, my tears streaming down my cheeks as I forced air into my lungs.

"There," he voiced his approval, keeping his hand steady on my chest. "Very good, Faeryn."

The praise settled me slightly, and I continued swallowing handfuls of air until it compensated for the air I'd lost, and exhausted, I collapsed on his chest.

"It's all right." His voice was low, right near my ear. "I want you to rest, Faeryn. Rest and breathe."

I tried to sign 'sorry', but he held my wrist to keep me from doing so. 

"No," he denied me. "Rest and breathe; there is nothing for you to apologize for." Wrapping his arms around me, he applied pressure to our hold until our chests mimicked the pressure his hand had moments before.

Relief remained, and although I was still terrified, being in his arms made me feel protected. Maybe not completely safe with the onslaught of texts from Ryker, but I knew Jin would protect me if Ryker appeared, so I clung to him, unwilling to let him go.

Time passed, leaving me frozen on his chest, and aside from the occasional sniffles, I couldn't move. I tried to use my hands to sign sorry, but he kept them still, and after a while, I couldn't even do that.

My grip on him loosened on him, my eyes wandered aimlessly, and I went completely slack.

"Is she okay?" I heard someone whisper, and I looked to see Jungkook standing near the kitchen.

Jin nodded curtly. "Go."

With wide eyes, Jungkook began to leave, but he caught sight of my eyes latched onto his. Whatever he saw within them made him pause, and slowly, he turned to Jin. 

"What's wrong?" he persisted quietly. 

"Jungkook," Jin warned, his voice a mere rumble of disapproval.

"Something's wrong," Jungkook insisted. "She looks scared, like she wants to tell me something but can't."

Jin was quiet, and slowly, he lifted me to view my face. When he settled me back, easing his grip slightly, I fell forward, unable to make myself remain upright. Feeling like I had lost control of my limbs, my bottom lip trembled as I furiously tried to communicate with my eyes. 

"Faeryn," Jin said lowly. "Everything's all right."

Jungkook walked to us quickly, denying Jin's instruction to leave, and leaning down to my face, he asked worriedly, "You can't move?"

I parted my lips, but no words left me. Just a failed vowel.

"She can't move," Jungkook told Jin, his brows wavering with concern. "Something's wrong. Did she—did she tell you what was wrong?"

"No," Jin said stiffly. 

"This kind of state only happens when something's really wrong; an Autistic shutdown, so she can't move or speak." Jungkook carefully caressed the side of my face. "It's okay. It'll pass, right? It doesn't usually last too long."

Tears filled my eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, pained at the sight of them. "You're probably really scared, but Jin's got you, and I'm right here, too. I won't leave you, even if he tells me to."

Jin's chest rumbled in response.

"I won't," Jungkook insisted, sending a look to Jin before returning his attention to me. "I promise, and he won't either. And when you can move again, maybe we can cuddle and watch TMNT, or you can eat something, take a warm bath, or just go to sleep; whatever you want, okay? I promise we'll do whatever you want."

I couldn't speak my thanks, but I hoped my eyes conveyed it well enough.

"Your body just needs a break," he continued, showing a small smile creased with concern. "It happens sometimes, but it's not giving up on you. Just taking a break, and...it's kind of forcing you to take a break with it because it cares about you."

My tears remained stagnant, swimming but not yet falling, and his words soothed them.

"One time," he began, "it happened to me, and Namjoon stayed with me until it stopped. He told a really bad joke, something stupid that didn't make sense, and I started to smile. A little while after that, I started moving again."

He crouched down and put his arms on the armrest, maintaining level eye contact with me. "It was a joke about the environment or something. I can't even remember, that's how stupid it was. Joon's not very good at jokes, but he told one to try and help, and it helped. He's kind of awesome, right?"

He tilted his head as mine lulled to the side without my consent. Cradling the side of it in his hands, he gently returned it to Jin's shoulder.

"There," he said with a nod. "More comfy, right? I think it's more comfy." He petted my hair ever so gently. "Don't be scared, okay? It's okay if you are, but you don't have to be scared because Jin and I are right here, and the others are somewhere in the house, so you're safe even if you can't move."

A sob built in my throat, and tears slipped down my cheeks.

His features scrunched up, and he hesitated before kissing them away, whispering against my skin, "Please don't be scared."

Leaning back, he swiped my tears away with his thumbs, making sure to be as gentle as possible.

"You're okay," he whispered, his brows furrowed with concentration as he collected my tears. "I know you are, even if you don't know it. Joon is...bad at jokes, but he's good at protecting people he cares about, and you're someone he cares about." His voice dipped. "One time, he protected me and made sure I was safe. He'll do the same thing for you, Faeryn, I just know it. He really cares about you just like we all do, and Jin works out a lot." He patted Jin's shoulder. "No one can stand up to his muscles."

Jin clasped the back of my neck firmly when my head began to lull to the side again. When I shuddered, beginning to shake, Jin said near my ear, "Focus on Jungkook. He tells interesting stories, doesn't he?"

Rubbing my back, his hands lowered to the back of my thighs as he began to massage them. Every part of me. I felt numb and could barely feel his touch, but I listened to him and tried to focus on Jungkook.

He told me funny stories about him and the others, squabbles they had over board games, times when he beat Jin in video games that Jin refused to acknowledge, stories Namjoon read to him, and everything light and fun that came to mind until finally, I could feel Jin massaging my body.

His hands brought feeling back to me, and when tired tears met my cheeks again, they were full of relief. 

My mind began to clear, my body jolted and twitched a few times over the course of a few minutes, and eventually, when I tried to raise my head, I could.

"Hey," Jungkook said, his eyes brightening and softening simultaneously. "You can do it."

Training my limbs to listen to me, forcing them to, I winced when I finally positioned my head to face Jin.

"You did it," Jungkook encouraged. "See? Your body just needed a break."

My jaw was tight with apprehension and locked with tension, and blinking rapidly, I lifted my hand shakily as I brought the rim of my shirt to my mouth. I bit down, hard, and I just kept biting and biting as if it would take all the frustration and fear and anger away.

"Her chewing tubes," Jungkook said quickly. "I'll go get them."

He hurried upstairs to the guest room, and when he returned, Jin carefully prodded my shirt from my mouth and nudged the chewing tube into my mouth. More relief hit me at the familiar feeling, and the tube allowed me to bite down harder, making my eyes flutter with relief. 

I remained sitting, but Jin eased my knees out from beneath me to return circulation and sat me sideways on his lap. Letting my head rest sideways on his chest, I clung to his shirt with one hand while holding the tube with the other. 

He caressed my hair as Jungkook availed himself of the seat beside me, starting once again to tell stories. It helped, and with his melodic voice swirling my senses, I let my eyes close.

I couldn't sleep yet, but comfort seeped through my mind and allowed me to keep my eyes closed. 

"Hey," Jimin announced himself. He was quiet for a moment before asking in low tones, "Is she sleeping?"

Jin tugged on my chewing tube slightly, and when I bit down on it to keep him from taking it, he told Jimin, "No."

"Is she okay?" Worry laced his tone. "Are you okay, honey?"

"She can't speak right now," Jungkook explained. "Her body's just taking a break."

"A break?" Jimin asked, and I peeked my eyes open to see him crouching in front of the couch. "Hey, sweet girl. You don't feel too good, huh?"

I shook my head.

"Oh, honey, that's okay. You don't always have to feel good." He rested his forearms on his knees. "Do you want some tea? You could switch out the tube with your straw to take a sip and put it right back. Does that sound like a good idea, baby?"

The pet name earned a quiet sound from me, and I reached for him. 

"Oh, I'm here. I'm right here." He moved closer and kissed my forehead, rubbing my arms reassuringly. "The tea sounds like a good idea?"

I nodded, my eyes puffy and swollen as I looked up at him.

"Honey." His features twisted. "You've been crying."

I chewed harder on the tube.

"It's okay to cry," he soothed. "But I'm sure your eyes hurt a little, hm?" He gave me one more forehead kiss before lifting himself back up. "I'm going to get you a cold compress and warm tea. That will help, okay? We'll get you feeling much better soon, honey, I promise."

He gently soothed his thumb beneath my eyes before. "I'll be right back." He squeezed where my hand clung to Jin's shirt. "You hold onto him, okay? He's got you, doesn't he? Nice and safe with Jin, aren't you?"

His tone of voice was soothing, and I felt like puddy with every word he spoke. When I nodded, he did too, showing a reassuring smile as he pivoted toward the kitchen. 

"I'll be right back," he reinstated. 

I pushed my face deeper into Jin's chest, and with my face buried in his shirt, I continued chewing on my tube for comfort.

Jungkook resumed his storytelling, and he was halfway through a camping story with Hoseok and Namjoon when Jimin returned with my strawberry cup. The cup was warm and full of chamomile tea, and at first, I just held it and traced the strawberries.

"You can drink it," Jungkook encouraged. "Jimin always makes really good tea."

I looked down at my chewing tube and slowly drifted my eyes to the straw.

Before I could blink, Jin removed the tube and slipped the straw between my lips, not giving me a chance to think before I instinctively sucked and earned tea as a reward. Settling closer to him, I stared resolutely at the tube just in case he would take it away. He didn't throw it away like Ryker did. Instead, he made sure he held it away from where I chewed so he wouldn't dirty it.

I peeked up at him gratefully and took the biggest deep breath I'd taken since I'd begun crying.

He kissed my temple. "Drink your tea."

I listened, enjoying how the liquid filled my stomach with warmth.

"Can I tell another story?" Jungkook wondered. "I have a lot more."

Jimin chuckled, squeezing my knee from where he crouched near the couch and watched me intently. "Has he been talking your ear off?"

I couldn't respond, and I didn't feel like moving my hands to sign, so I tried to smile. I wasn't sure if I did it well enough, but I was too tired to stress too much over it.

Jimin playfully nudged Jungkook's calf. "You were talking her ear off."

"It helped," he defended. "I think."

I managed a nod and watched as he relaxed and beamed. 

"It helped," he repeated with a big smile. 

I nuzzled against Jin's chest and drank more tea. 

Jungkook and Jimin talked a bit, including me without making me speak, and Jin kept a firm grip on my waist as I finished my tea. When my eyes flicked down to the tube, he'd already nudged it back into my mouth before I could fathom a way to ask.

He took the cup from me and relinquished it to Jimin, cradling the side of my body and tugging me closer to him.

"Jungkook," he instructed. "Blankets."

Jungkook sprung up and raced to the hallway closet, bringing out a fluffy blanket and hurrying back to us. Jin fitted it around me, tucking it until I felt secure and comfortably bundled, and held me to him like he would never let me go.

Jimin handed him the cold compress, and Jin alternated placing it beneath either of my eyes. It was cooling and a reprieve from the heat crying induced, and I took another deep breath as I fell into the comfort Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook were providing.

I fell asleep somewhere along the line, and when I woke up, low chatter surrounded me. Opening my eyes groggily, I turned slightly to view the living room from my position on Jin's chest. 

A few of the others had trickled in, and before they could notice I was awake, I closed my eyes, anxious for whatever questions they might've had for me.

"Something is wrong," Jungkook told everyone. "Autistic shutdowns only happen when you're pushed as far as you can go, so something bad must have happened."

"We're not skipping to the worst-case scenario, bub," Namjoon responded. "We'll talk to her when she's verbal."

Jungkook's voice went high-pitched. "But I know I'm right, Joon. You didn't see the way she looked at me; I know what that looks like."

"What what looks like?"

"The look when something bad happens and you're scared it will get worse," he said insistently. "I know what it looks like and feels like, and when she couldn't move, she just looked at me like that, trying to communicate with me; I know it, so you have to believe me because if you don't, she'll keep being scared, and whatever bad thing is happening will keep happening, and I don't want her to be scared or hurt or cry, so you—"

"Jungkook, bub, take a deep breath," Namjoon cut in, his smooth tone working to calm Jungkook down. "I believe you, okay? You don't have to work this hard to earn my belief; all you have to do is talk to me, and I'm on your side. Always," he reiterated strongly. "I'm always on your side."

Jungkook took a stammered breath. "You believe me?"

"I believe you," Namjoon said firmly, "and I need you to take some deep breaths for a minute. Let me take over for a second while you do."

"But—"

"Breathe, bub. I need you to breathe."

Jungkook fell silent but it only lasted for a moment before he burst, "No one can hurt her; I won't let them, and I know I've let people hurt me before, but I won't let anyone hurt her. I won't, Joon, I won't."

"You didn't let them hurt you," Namjoon negated with a serious tone. "They let themselves hurt you, not the other way around, and whatever is going on with Faeryn, the same rule applies; it applies to everyone who's fallen victim to abuse. Do you understand me, Jungkook? I don't want to hear you speak like that."

Jungkook sounded winded. "I won't let anyone hurt her."

"None of us will," Namjoon confirmed. "Now I need to hear you say you understand."

Jungkook inhaled sharply, took a moment, and breathed out, "I understand."

Namjoon exhaled shortly. "Come here. Come sit with me."

"I want to stay next to Faeryn," Jungkook responded rigidly, sounding tense. "Just in case she wakes up and still feels scared."

"Okay," Namjoon agreed. "Then I'll come to you."

The couch dipped moments later, and I felt Jungkook shift slightly. 

Strained, he said in a quieter tone, "She was so scared."

"We've got her," Namjoon told him in similar tones. "You won't let anyone hurt her and neither will we. We're a team, bub, aren't we?"

"Yes," Jungkook whispered.

"She's not going anywhere and neither are we," Namjoon assured him. "When she wakes up, we'll all still be here, and if she's scared, we'll let her know there's nothing we won't do to make her feel better. Isn't that right?"

Low agreement filled the room, keeping quiet for the sake of my assumed rest, and guilt rushed through me at the worry I'd caused.

But I couldn't tell them about Ryker's texts. My tongue wouldn't move, I couldn't bring myself to sign it, and I didn't dare write it on paper. Speaking it would only make it more real.

Jungkook shifted on the couch, gently caressing my calf. "We won't push her to talk about it, okay? That will only make it worse."

"We won't," Jin agreed rigidly. "And if she says she doesn't want to talk about it, we'll respect her wishes, even if it's difficult."

Taehyung spoke next, strained, and I found it harder to remain pretend asleep. "What if she's being hurt? What if it's Ryker? We can't just let her continue getting hurt because she's not ready to come to us; it's not safe, and I understand that it's her right to set boundaries on what she is and isn't ready to talk about it, but this is impacting her physical and mental health." 

Again, he reiterated worriedly, "It's not safe."

"It isn't," Yoongi agreed distantly. "It's not safe." Everyone was silent. "We could take her somewhere."

"Where?" Jimin asked.

"A vacation," Yoongi revealed. "Chiksu spoke of the time-off hours she's acquired, and she hasn't touched them. It would give time for a vacation."

"And she would be away from whatever was hurting her," Taehyung said in one breath. 

"It'll give her a chance to clear her head," Hoseok agreed slowly as he thought about it. "Take her away from the situation and allow her to view it with a clearer headspace."

"Then we do it," Jimin concurred. "We take her on a vacation."

"All of us, right?" Jungkook inquired. "We all need to go; she feels safe with all of us, and the safer she feels, the faster she'll feel better." 

"There's nothing upcoming in our schedules," Namjoon concluded after a moment's thought. "Meetings could be moved around, and we have every dance we need to know memorized. If need be, we could rent out a dance studio wherever we vacation if management brings it up as an issue, but either way, yes." He concluded curtly, "She'll get her vacation."

"How many time-off hours does she have?" Hoseok asked.

"Over a week," Taehyung relayed. "She only used a few hours for her two sick days and the night after she stayed on the street."

"It's...it's like that," Jungkook said uneasily. "Doesn't it feel like it?"

"Like what?" Namjoon prompted. "Talk to us, bub."

"She's acting like she did when she was scared of Ryker," he explained. "When she thought she had to deal with it on her own."

"He's right," Hoseok attested gravely. "She had periods of speech loss often during that time; it can't be a coincidence."

"We'll ask HYBE's security to watch the footage," Jin said lowly. "They have him in the system."

"What if he didn't show up at HYBE?" Jungkook asked. "He already tried once, so if he tried again, it would look like he was the bad guy in the situation, and if he's seen as the bad guy, he won't have as much power as before. My...you know that my managers were like that, Joon." His voice dipped, and embarrassment laced his tone. "If I didn't tell anyone what they did, they could keep..."

"I know," Namjoon picked up where Jungkook left off. "But you don't have to think about that; it's not happening anymore."

"Because I told you," Jungkook continued insistently. "But if Faeryn doesn't tell us and Ryker's hurting her, he'll keep on hurting her, and it'll just get worse."

"One step at a time," Yoongi said slowly. "Rushing a situation she's not mentally ready to end won't end; it will keep occurring."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung pressed, confused.

"We assumed it ended with Ryker," Yoongi elaborated. "But it might not be, and we don't know since she hasn't been ready to speak about it."

"Talking about it might hurt her feelings," Taehyung persisted. "But staying in a bad situation with Ryker will hurt her a lot more."

"That's what the vacation is for," Hoseok said. "To give her a safe space to process it without Ryker being around if he is."

"He is." Jungkook's voice was high-pitched. "I know it."

"We don't know anything for sure," Namjoon consoled him, but his voice was clipped and tightly wound. "We'll take it as it comes."

"But I know it," he insisted.

I tensed, guilty, terrified, and exhausted. I wanted to calm Jungkook down, needed to, but my body and fear worked against me, keeping me limp on Jin's chest.

Understanding I would be bombarded with questions once I lifted my face, I took the risk knowing it would allow Jungkook a reprieve.

After a moment's struggle, I managed to lift my face and slowly turned towards everyone. With a tight grip on Jin's shirt, I blinked dazedly as my surroundings became clearer.

"Faeryn," Jungkook breathed out just as Jimin said, "Hey, honey. We're sorry if we were too loud. You can go right back to sleep; everything's fine."

I managed a shake of my head.

"No?" he prompted with slightly furrowed brows.

Bringing my hands to my chest, I noticed how they shook as I signed, "I'm fine."

"Okay," he consoled. "But it's okay if you're not; if you just want to lay your head down and go back to sleep."

Again, I signed, "I'm fine."

Turning slightly, I caught Jungkook's eyes. He held our gaze as he gnawed on his lips, and presently, he mouthed, "Okay?"

I nodded, one hand holding to Jin's shirt as I reached for Jungkook's hand with the other. He took it quickly and intertwined our fingers together tightly.

"Don't worry," I signed. "I'm fine."

After a quick sweep of my features, his lips turned downward, and in a whisper, he said, "No, you're not."

I fiercely signed, "Yes, I am." Squeezing his hand, I reiterated, "Don't worry."

When his disbelief remained strong and edged on his worry, I signed, "Sleep with me, please. I'm tired and want you with me."

He nodded quickly, and with a hasty glance at Namjoon, he didn't wait before lifting me from Jin. He was surprisingly strong, and although not as buff as Namjoon and Jin, his muscles were prominent; I could feel them beneath his shirt as he held me.

He kept me close, every movement he made fueled with protectiveness, and with a worried peek into my face, he clung to him as I clung to him.

"Do you want to go to my room?" he wondered, his eyes big and round as they looked into mine. "My blankets are comfy."

I nodded and kissed beneath his chin, wanting desperately to make the worried crease in his features go away, pained that I caused it.

"Okay," he said breathily. "And we can wear matching pajamas. Right? We'll be comfy—you and me, right, Faeryn?"

I nodded, kissing his chin again. 

"Okay," he said headily, sounding slightly relieved. "Okay, we'll—okay. Joon"—he looked his way—"Faeryn and I are going to wear matching pajamas and go to bed, so you and I can read together tomorrow, okay?"

Namjoon dipped his chin, studying the two of us closely. "That's fine, bub. Do you need me with you?" His eyes flit from Jungkook's to mine. "Do you need me with you?"

"We're okay," Jungkook said determinedly. "Right, Faeryn?" He held me as if someone would take me from him. "We're okay."

I wrapped my arms around his neck in response, conveying my agreement.

"Okay," Namjoon said slowly, continuing his acute study of us. "You both know where to find me if you need me."

"We know," Jungkook agreed, already carrying me to the stairs. "But we'll be okay."

I peeked over his shoulder to view Namjoon and the others before I pushed my forehead against it and took a deep breath.

After stopping at the guest room for my pajamas, Jungkook and I arrived in his room. Setting me on his bed, he hurried to his drawers for his pajamas, talking to me all the way.

Painted blue, his room was full of video games, comic books, several fidget toys, potted plants, and scattered sweatshirts hung over a random surface. It was clean, only slightly cluttered, and it smelled nice, just like him.

"I can change in the bathroom," he offered, tearing me out of my thoughts. "So you can change on the bed."

I blinked at him, at my pajamas, then back at him. 

"No?" he asked, worried. "Do you want me to just close my eyes?"

I pushed myself to nod, and he returned the action quickly. 

"Should we both turn around and change like that?" he suggested. "So we can be finished at the same time?"

When I wordlessly agreed, we turned and began changing. It took me a while, the silk material continually slipping through my shaking fingers, and by the time I was finished, I was more exhausted than before.

"Are you ready?" he asked. "I just—I realized you can't talk right now, so you can't tell me if you're done." Tugging his shirt for solace, he wondered, "Can you pat the bed three times if you're done?"

I patted the bed three times, and eagerly, he turned, and a relieved smile found his lips.

"Hey," he said breathily, hurrying over to me. "We're matching." He lightly tugged his shirt. "See?"

We both adorned our long pink PJS, and the sight of his eagerness evoked a miniature smile from me, just enough to make the size of his grow.

"We look pretty," he said as he helped me under the blankets, pulling them up and around us. "Namjoon wouldn't know what to do with himself."

I hugged him as the blankets cascaded around us.

"Sometimes," he whispered as if sharing a secret with me. "I make a blanket fort when I can't sleep, but not a childish blanket fort. My blanket forts are cool."

He pointed to the ceiling. "I make it tall, and I bring my lamp, TV, and Xbox—oh, and snacks—and I stay inside until I'm tired." He smiled sheepishly. "It's usually on the weekends or when it's a thunderstorm and too loud to sleep."

I caressed his cheek fondly, cupping it as he continued, "Adults can make forts; anyone who says otherwise wants to steal joy and doesn't know the meaning of it." He leaned into my touch. "Namjoon told me that."

I rested my forehead against his. "I like forts," I signed.

"What's...what's the last sign?"

I finger-signed it, and his features lit up.

"You like forts," he said, nuzzling his forehead with mine. "I knew you would."

I kissed him. Just a little. 

He sighed into our kiss, twining his arms around my waist and tugging my chest flush against his.

"Faeryn," he whispered. 

I nudged our noses together, enjoying the comfort that came with it.

"I know I'm not as strong as the others," he continued in his quiet tone. "But if you're scared, I can help, too. I can help."

I nodded. I know.

"I know what being scared of someone feels like," he said quietly. "I wasn't safe for...for a little while, and..." His features creased. "The only way I started being safe again is when I told someone—when I told Namjoon, the others, and HYBE. But before I told them, the people who...who were hurting me told me no one would believe me, and I believed them, so I stayed quiet."

He shook his head slightly as pain flitted across his features. "Not telling anyone just made me get hurt more, so Faeryn, if someone is telling you that no one will believe what they're doing to you, they're lying. It's...it's horrible, and it's a power move to keep them in control and you silent. It's not good, okay? And it's not safe, and I just want you to be safe and never cry again."

He paused. "Well, crying is normal and okay, but I don't like it when you cry. It hurts."

My nose scrunched in an attempt to hold back all feeling, but his words cut through and they cut deep, leaving my defenses defenseless.

Whatever my expression held, he read it easily, and with wide eyes full of understanding, he carefully arranged my face close to his chest, allowing me to feel his heartbeat and the smooth silk of his pajamas.

"It's okay," he assured me. "We don't have to talk about it right now. You already cried a lot, and you're too tired. It's okay, okay? I know it is."

I sniffled.

He caressed my hair quickly. "It's okay."

I kept my face hidden in his chest, letting the silk cool my cheek, and it didn't take long for him to speak quietly, "Once upon a time, there was a little fox who lived in a shed in the forest."

I lifted my face slightly to see him.

"Namjoon reads to me when I can't sleep," he told me, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. "I don't have any memorized, so I'm making one up because I thought it might help you sleep."

My heart filled with warmth, and before I could cry, I nodded and reburied my face in his shirt.

He squeezed me as we both settled into each other.

"The fox," he continued. "Would...he would come outside of the shed to get food, and one day, he met another animal. Maybe a...a bear!" He lowered his voice. "Sorry. He met a bear."

I kissed his chest in response, letting him know it was okay. 

"Okay," he whispered in return. "So after the fox met the bear, they decided to go on an adventure together."

It was easy to fall asleep with him, and as my eyelids drooped and sleep rapidly approached, I realized Jungkook's voice had faded as exhaustion greeted him, too.

Together, we fell asleep in each others arms, his story of the fox and bear's adventure in my mind in place of Ryker's texts.

Notes:

well!!!!! the trauma and angst continue, I fear 😩 more on that on Tuesday...🤭

Also! For anyone reading who struggles with "freezing" like Faeryn did in this chapter, I found this online from someone who struggles with it too and what they do to help them move again.

1. if you can move your eyes, start moving them up and down, up and down.
2. Once you are able, start to move your head up and down with your eyes, little by little
3. once your head is nodding, move your shoulders up and down with your head; then your arms, then your torso.
4. at this point, at least half your body is moving and things should start to loosen up/"un-paralyze".
talking might take a little longer, it just takes time.

Just wanted to share in case it could help someone!! If you ever want to talk about your own experiences about this, feel free to share with me in the comments! I'll see you guys next week <33

Chapter 21: Ocean's Leak From My Eyes

Summary:

Faeryn breaks and reveals what's going on to Yoongi. He and Jin take matters into their own hands, gathering everyone together to take her to the ocean for a much-needed rest/relaxation period.

Notes:

slight trigger warning for self-harm; Faeryn has a meltdown and hits her head a few times in a failed attempt to regulate.

I found the art at the beginning of this chapter from TikTok user millkinjection. I'm not sure if it is their art or not, but it really spoke to me, and I wanted to share.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

"Hello."

I was surprised to find Yoongi the only one in the kitchen. He sat at the table with a mug of coffee and traced the outline of his phone as he looked at me.

"Hi," I rasped, availing myself of the seat beside him.

His head tilted slightly toward the stovetop. "Jimin."

I glanced to the stovetop where the tea kettle sat. "He made tea," I murmured.

"For you," Yoongi affirmed, and when I turned, we locked eyes.

"Thank you," I managed, wincing at how dry my throat was. "For telling me."

Standing, I excused myself for tea, and grabbing my strawberry cup, I reheated the tea and toyed with the straw as I waited.

Clearing my throat as my fingers rubbed it to alleviate any tension, I asked, "Where did Jimin go?"

"Early start," Yoongi stated. I watched steam circulate his face. "The gym at HYBE; him and Namjoon."

"Oh." I swallowed. "Is...are they okay?"

"No one is upset with you, Faeryn."

"Right." I paid close attention to the table. "Okay."

He regarded me before taking a sip of coffee. Setting his cup down, he supplemented, "Working out; it is a good and healthy outlet for anger."

My throat tightened. "You...but you said they weren't upset with me."

"They are not angry with you."

"They're...oh." I pressed my lips tightly together. "Ryker."

"Yes." His fingers turned white around the mug. "Ryker."

The kettle whistled, and relieved for the distraction, I turned the stove off. Pouring the tea into my cup, I held my breath as I mulled over ways to shift the topic to something lighter. Unfortunately, my phone took my moment of pondering as an invitation to flood the room with loud, insistent dings.

I froze, knowing exactly who it was, but with a tight grip on my cup, I managed to put it down on the counter before I dropped it.

Shakily, I grabbed my phone and powered it off without looking at the texts, although I caught a flash of one; you're pushing it, piggy.

Hurt tore through me, and as I slipped my phone back into my pocket, I downed my tea, enjoying how it burned my throat on its way to warm my stomach. It distracted and rounded me, and I held on tight to it as my hands clung to the cup for its warmth.

Slowly journeying back to the table, I sat down next to Yoongi once more.

"He's contacting you."

His words sliced through me, right into my open wound, and my breath hitched as I struggled to find a way to get out of responding without a blatant lie, but I came up empty. All I had was tea, so I drank and drank until my cup was empty, too.

"You can change your number," he said two minutes later.

I continued staring at the bottom of my cup, tense and afraid. "What?"

"You blocked him, I assume. However," he continued slowly. "He will, if he has not already, create new phone numbers to reach you. If that is the case, you can change your number."

"I don't..." Dizzy, I slowly lifted my chewing tube to my mouth but thought against it, wondering if it would somehow prove what he said was true.

Surprised, I jolted when he lifted the tube from where it rested on my chest and held it up to my lips.

"You can," he said firmly. "If it helps, you can."

My throat worked around my emotion as I looked from him to the tube.

"You should," he said. "Do whatever helps."

I parted my lips, and he eased it carefully between my lips, only sitting back when I began to gnaw on it for comfort.

Nodding curtly, his fingers enclosed his mug's handle. "I will help change your number, if you would prefer."

I gnawed on the tube harder.

"It's all right," he decided. "All of it will be."

I clutched my empty cup as if it could save me from feeling. "Need it to be," I whispered.

"Two weeks," he stated. "There is another side of things."

"I..." My features tightened with pain. "I don't...I don't know how."

"How to?"

My voice dipped with embarrassment and shame. "To change my number."

"That's all right."

"Ryker—he just—he said I had to keep it or something bad would happen to me." A shudder racked my shoulders, and I chewed the tube furiously. "He would check my search history, and I—I was scared even if I deleted it, he would still find out."

His neck twitched. "That is not all right." He placed his mug on the coaster and inhaled shortly. Pushing it back slightly, he angled his body toward mine. "I will help change your number if you would like."

"He can take me to court," I said, fear overtaking me. "He'll find out I changed my number, and I—I already didn't pay rent, so he'll come after me. He'll find me, Yoongi, and he'll take me back and hurt me just like he used to, but this time, he won't let me go, and I—I'm so afraid."

"He will not hurt you," he negated, his voice dangerously low. "Whose name is on the lease?"

"Mine," I managed.

"He kicked you out, did he not?"

"Yes, he—yes." My pupils quivered. "He kicked me out."

"That is illegal," he said coldly, his tone change taking me by surprise. "If anyone should be threatening legal action, it is you." He lengthened in his seat. "Has he threatened you over texts?"

I forced myself to nod.

His jaw set. "That is a punishable crime in the eyes of the law. Have you deleted the texts?"

I shook my head rigidly.

"May I see them?" he asked. "I will screenshot them and air drop to my phone."

My eyes widened. "Why?"

"I can keep the evidence, and you can rid your phone of it." He dipped his chin, keeping his eyes level with mine. "Peace of mind."

My stomach clenched. "You can't—no, you—you can't see them."

"Did he tell you I couldn't view them?"

I paled, and this time, when I told him he couldn't view them, I could barely hear the words leave me.

His brows tugged downward. "He isn't here to stop me, Faeryn. Ryker isn't here."

I flinched at his name and clutched the underside of the table for any sort of relief.

"He wants this," he continued gravely. "He wants you to fear him."

"Then he got what he wanted," I snapped, withering at the sound of my tone. "I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"It's all right to be upset."

"Not to snap," I said quietly. "It's not all right to snap. Not...not at you and everyone here."

"You're human. You can snap if you want to."

A bitter laugh left me before I could stop it. "A human."

He watched me rather intently. "Yes."

"I'm not a human," I spat out, angrily removing my tube and clutching it in my palm instead. Shaking my head with disgust and rage toward myself, I insisted, "I'm not."

He held my fiery gaze. "What does that mean?"

"It means," I continued at full force, "that I don't belong. That the moment I was born Autistic, the world was set up against me." Anger climbed from my gut into my throat, and heatedly, I pressed, "I had to watch kids my age interact before I knew what to do, replay reality shows to see how people interacted; I—I had to mimic facial expression in the mirror so I knew how to properly convey what emotion I was feeling just like everyone else, because if I didn't, I would be shunned, but it didn't matter because I was shunned anyway."

My heart clenched, and the next breath I took caused a sharp pain to spark in my chest. "No matter how long I practiced to be a girl, teenager, woman, and person, the moment I open my mouth, everyone knows I'm an imposter. Do you know how frustrating it is to practice at something you're entire life but never be good at it?"

My eyes flashed with anger. "So, when Ryker said he loved me—the first person aside from my parents and grandparents to say that to me—I took it at face value because  I thought my practicing had finally paid off; I thought he saw me like a I was a human, but he didn't. He clocked me immediately, even if he didn't know at first I was Autistic, and he used it against me."

My voice broke. "When you can't decipher facial expressions and intent, manipulation goes right over your head, and he clocked me. Everyone does, and nothing helps—no matter how much makeup I put on, form fitting clothes I wear, or the tone of voice I use, everyone puts me in a box and never takes me out."

The pitch of my voice heightened, shaky and warbled. "I'm stuck there, and because of it, Ryker is threatening to take me to court because it's easy for him to. It's fun. Abuse the Autistic girl because she won't know what's going on before she's in too deep and doesn't know how to get out of the box you put her in."

I pushed away from the table, breathing heavily as I stood. "I have—I have to go."

Yoongi stood with me. "Yell at me."

My breathing faltered. "What?"

"Yell at me," he repeated firmly. "Yell at me as if I was him."

"Him?"

Anger clouded his features. "Ryker."

I didn't question it; I needed it too much to.

"I hate you!" I yelled, jolting slightly at the sheer sound of my voice. Dizzy, I reached up to cup my ears. "I hate you, I hate you—" My chest heaved with uncertainty. "I—I hate you so much, and I'm not a pig. I'm not as pretty as women, but I'm pretty enough." My eyes stung with unshed tears, and I whispered, "I'm pretty."

"Yell," Yoongi instructed strongly. "Be loud."

"I'm pretty!" I shouted. "And you're—you're ugly, and I hate you! My mom and dad would hate you, and so would my grandparents, and they didn't just love me because they had to; they loved me because I'm loveable; Jungkook said so!"

Panting, I took a sharp breath before releasing a loud, "You're mean and cruel and you kicked me out; I wanted to stay. I—I wanted to stay, and I was so scared when you kicked me out, but you kicked me out, and that's illegal, so you would lose in court. So stop threatening me! You're—you're ruining my life!"

My eyes welled with tears. "Yoongi, I—"

"Yell."

"I miss my mom and dad!" I screamed, and the dam burst, tears streaming down my eyes as I choked around them. "And I couldn't grieve my grandparents properly because you made me grieve waking up in the morning. I—I'll never forgive you, and I want you to leave me alone, and I never want to see you again, so stop texting me!"

An ounce of relief shot through me, and invigorated, I screamed just to scream. My voice broke and shattered as I did the same, and I sobbed, shifting from foot to foot as I kept my hands tightly over my ears.

"Hate you," I kept repeating. "Hate you, hate you."

I jumped when Jin announced himself, his hair slightly mussed and his shirt half buttoned. His eyes latched onto mine, and with his chest rising and falling quicker than usual, he looked between Yoongi and I before taking a step towards me.

I stepped back, causing him to halt in his step.

Lifting his hands slowly, he signed, "What is going on?"

My lower lip trembled, and I voiced brokenly, "Hate you."

He paused, and carefully, his eyes drifted to Yoongi. "Who," he voiced lowly, "do we hate?"

"Faeryn," Yoongi prompted me to respond, keeping his eyes on me.

"Hate you," I whispered, bringing my hands away from my ears and back again over and over. "Hate you."

The sound my actions caused made my head spin, and slightly panicked from the volume my yells had caused and what my words had revealed, I cried harder and took my hands from my ears to my head. Everything I'd tried to keep to myself, the part of Autism that made me feel insane, showed itself to the two people I only ever wanted to impress and be like.

I brought my hands down on the side of my head repeatedly, hitting myself in the hopes of stopping the pressure building in my head. It felt like I would explode, every feeling building and building until I would explode.

"Faeryn," Jin warned, closer than before. "Hands down."

I choked on sob. "Hate you."

"Put your hands down."

"No," I stammered fitfully. "Just—just—" I hit myself harder, desperate to make everything stop, but it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't leave me alone.

"Faeryn," he warned with more urgency than before. "This is my last time asking you to lower your hands."

I hit and hit the sides of my head, and as my vision blurred from my tears and actions, a gasp left me when Jin reached me and grabbed my wrists. Pulling them away from my head, he brought them to his chest with ease and tugged me carefully toward him.

"Hands," he said firmly, "down."

I struggled against him, trying to return my hands to my head, but his grip was relentless.

"Hate you," I stuttered as I failed to take a deep breath, near the edge of hyperventilation. "I—I—"

He shifted me to face in front of us, kept my wrists in his hold, and folded his arms across my chest. Applying a dizzyingly amount of pressure, he kept me as close to him as possible.

I struggled, wanting—needing—my hands for my head, but the pressure felt like it was sinking into my chest and traveling through the rest of my body. Taking stammered breaths, I spoke incoherently as my struggling to get away turned into me struggling to get closer.

"It's all right," he told me, sounding slightly breathless himself. Nudging his mouth against the side of my head, his lips brushed where I'd been hitting. "It's all right."

Racked with sobs, my body sagged in Jin's hold until he was the only reason I was standing upright.

Trembling and exhausted, my eyes closed as my body shook with the effort to calm itself.

"Hate you," I managed, and as Jin held me tightly, I tried to make out Yoongi through my blurry vision. "Yoongi, hate—hate him."

His voice was coarse. "I hate him, too."

I felt the understanding in Jin's form, and anger was next to follow. His hold on me became constricting, but the pressure only worked to settle me.

Time passed, and somewhere within it, Jin took me to the couch and bundled me up in weighted blankets, keeping me as close to him as possible. My face was buried in his chest, and my breathing had returned with the occasional hitch and hiccup.

Often, I would whisper, "Hate you", but Jin just pressed me closer to him and tightened his arms around me.

Time was a concept, and I didn't know how much of it had passed when Yoongi's voice cut through decidedly.

"We'll visit the ocean."

I nodded. Couldn't stop nodding. Over and over.

Jin put a hand to my head to still it, pressing a kiss to it and breathing into my hair, "We will." His voice was rigid with his unspoken anger. "We'll visit the ocean."

"Hate you," I said, unsure.

"You have every right to hate him," he said, a spark of anger fighting through. "Hate him, Faeryn. You're allowed to."

"Don't...don't hate you," I responded with knitted brows, confusion making them waver. "Jin, I..."

"I know."

"No, I—"

"I know, Faeryn."

I tired not to blink to send any tears falling, but it happened anyway as all things did to me, but before they could land, Jin caught them with his thumb.

"I'll take you to the ocean," he said, his tone subdued. With a lingering kiss to my forehead, his hands lowered to my waist protectively. "Anywhere you want."

He let me cling to him as he lifted me, and I watched Yoongi trail behind us as Jin carried me to the guest room.

Setting me carefully onto his bed, he leaned down and cupped my face. "I'm not leaving."

"Not leaving," I repeated slowly.

"That's right." He took me and my features in. "I'm getting ready for the ocean."

"For the ocean," I echoed with a slow nod, feeling a dull sense of excitement, barely accounted for. "Okay. I...I want to get ready for...I want to."

"You're dressed," he said softly. "We'll bring your shoes."

"My...my shoes." I looked to my closet. "I want...Jin, I..." Exhausted, I felt my words slipping further and further away with each one I tried to speak.

"What do you want?" he murmured. "What do you need me to get for you?"

"My mom—she...she would..." My tongue felt like lead, and slowly, my speech left me.

"Your mom would what?" He caressed my cheek as he watched my will to speak dissipate, but a sudden realization flashed through his features. "Is Mr. Stuffins what you need?"

I pushed out a nod.

"Is he in your bag?" he asked, turning to where it was near the closet. "Did you bring him over last night?"

I nodded again.

"I will pack him," Yoongi decided, his hands shifting into his pockets as he slowly walked to my bag. "Where is...Bunny?"

I pointed to the bag.

"All right." He lifted my bag and brought out my bear and bunny. "Would you prefer I pack them, or would you prefer to hold them?"

I pointed to Mr. Stuffins.

He returned the bunny to the bag and brought Mr. Stuffins to me, and once he was in my arms, I thought of my mother and her gentle care whenever I had a meltdown as a child—one similar to this when I'd been bullied all day at school by piers and teachers. But at least I had her and Mr. Stuffins.

I looked between Jin and Yoongi, and choking up, I pushed my face into Mr. Stuffins' fur and moved forward to rest my forehead on Jin's chest.

"Yoongi," Jin instructed, keeping his voice low. "Grab her shoes from the closet."

"Please," I signed.

Jin caught the movement and lowered his chin, amending, "Please."

"Thank you," I signed to him, then to Yoongi multiple times.

Jin kissed my cheek, lingering for a moment before pulling away. "Hold onto your bear."

I clung to him and pressed him deep against my chest for the grounding pressure, and Jin nodded his approval, keeping me in his gaze to ensure I was all right before walking to my drawers. Opening it, he pulled out my extra pair of pajamas and whatever clothes I'd left here, already folded, and without prompting, Yoongi handed the bag to him on his way to me.

With my sneakers in hand, Yoongi crouched in front of me.

"I can do it," I signed languidly.

"I know," he responded, his eyes fixated on easing my sneakers onto my sock-padded feet. "I can do it, too."

"Thank you," I signed. "Don't hate you. Never hate you."

He caught my hands moving and lifted his head, and taking the hint, I signed again so he could view it.

"I know." He tied my shoe laces, keeping his attention on me to catch my possible response. "I was Ryker."

"Pretending," I signed. "So I—" My fingers faltered before I concluded, "So I could yell at him."

He paused as thoughts whirred behind his eyes, and momentarily, recognition towards what I signed flickers in his face. "Yes," he confirmed. "So you could yell at him."

"It was...loud," I signed. "Me."

"It was good," he countered. "Yelling can be good."

"Yelling is bad?" I signed, confused.

Putting my other shoe on, he took a moment before responding, "Ryker deserves more than yelling."

My fingers flicked against each other as I tried to configure a response but came up empty.

Eventually, when he patted my shoe after tying it, I signed, "I don't want to sound like Ryker."

His features shifted. "Yelling," he iterated slowly, "doesn't make you sound like him. He doesn't own the action."

Confusion rendered my hands motionless, and I stared down at him as he looked up at me.

My features scrunched, and holding my bear tightly, I scooted off the bed and sat beside Yoongi. Tentatively, I set my bear down and held my arms out to Yoongi instead.

He understood, and when he nodded, I inched forward and hugged him tightly. He held me stiffly, but when I carefully placed my face in his neck, his hold became protective and he gathered my body closer to him.

Tilting his head, he rested it near mine. "It's been a while." He breathed deeply. "Since I've been to the ocean."

He was as comfortable to hug as I thought he would be, and in the warmth of his hoodie, I sunk closer to him.

I began to say his name, able to make out the 'Y', but anything else failed me.

"That's my name," he said. Slowly, he patted my back, and it was slightly awkward, but it was warm.

I breathed him in and didn't let go, only holding on tighter when Jin said he would be right back. He barely left the room when Jungkook barreled down the hall, breathless and panicked.

"I can't find Faeryn," he stressed. "Jin, I—I can't find her. We fell asleep together, but I woke up, and she's gone, and—"

"Breathe," Jin cut him off steadily. "She's in her room with Yoongi."

"She is?" Jungkook's panic turned to relief in seconds. "Oh! Okay. What are they doing? Can I go hang out with them?"

"Not right now." I heard Jin pat his shoulder. "I want you to go get packed."

"Packed?" Jungkook echoed. "Why? Where are we going?"

"The beach."

"Oh!" Jungkook's voice lowered to a loud whisper. "The vacation?"

"Yes, Jungkook. The vacation." Another shoulder pat. "Go wake up your hyungs and let them know. Jimin and Namjoon are at the gym; I'll take care of texting them."

"Are we going today?" Jungkook wondered excitedly. "After breakfast?"

I heard Jin's smile. "How about we get breakfast on the way? Find somewhere to stop?"

"Yes!" Jungkook agreed eagerly. "Somewhere fancy—like where Namjoon took Faeryn or where she and Lyric went with that pretty gift shop."

"Don't search for places online," was Jin's light warning. "You'll get distracted. Instead, take your medicine, wake your hyungs, and pack up. Yes?"

"Yes, hyung," Jungkook chirped.

He bounded back down the hall toward his room, and Jin left the opposite way toward his room.

Settling against Yoongi, I released a short, content sigh.

Home.

꧁꧂

It took around two hours for everyone to pack up, and after Jin texted Namjoon and Jimin, they arrived shortly after.

I stayed with Yoongi, and he even let me help fold his clothes into his suitcase in his room. He put his headphones on me and played my favorite song of his on repeat, and if we wanted to communicate, we would sign.

It was a much needed reprieve, and I bounced slightly on his bed as my body slowly began to regulate with Yoongi, my favorite song, and my chewing tube.

It was a three hour drive to the beach, and an hour and a half into it, I lifted my purse from the floor and resumed crocheting my strawberry bag. Squished between Taehyung and Yoongi, my head lulled to either of their shoulders as I worked.

I let Taehyung crochet a few stitches for me, feeling a smile draw itself on my face as his successful work made him beam.

We alternated crocheting, and on his phone, Yoongi kept count of our stitches.

"A together bag," I signed to them.

"A together bag," Taehyung repeated. Nudging his shoulder gently against mine, he broke into a big smile. "I love it."

"You like it?" I signed to Yoongi. "We can share."

Yoongi's eyes flitted to Taehyung in question, and Taehyung explained, "She said we can share."

"Yes." Yoongi's attention returned to me. "I like it, and sharing would be nice."

"You," I pointed to him, singing, "are nice, and...I like my favorite song. Your song."

"Thank you," he signed. "You are nice."

"Thank you," I signed with a light blush, the color only heightened when a bump in the road pushed me closer to him.

Immediately, he took a hold of my shoulders as Taehyung steadied my waist, and they settled me into my seat.

I caught Jin's motion from the front, and he tilted his rearview mirror to allow me to see him sign, "Sorry."

"It's okay," I signed, squirming between Taehyung and Yoongi. "I'm okay."

Taehyung patted the top of my knee before squeezing it, and I shivered when his hand raised to do the same to my inner thigh.

With his free hand, he signed, "Should we crochet?"

I pushed my face into his shoulder, and he slipped my arm around my waist to keep me close.

"Okay," he murmured. "We can take a little break."

I fell asleep while Yoongi's song played through his earphones, and when I woke up, my chewing tube had wet the front of my shirt. Embarrassed, I tried to wipe it, still half-asleep, but when I went to do so with my hand, I realized it was half-asleep, too.

Whining with frustration, I shook it to regain feeling, realizing with dismay that one of the earphones fell out of my ear, creating an uncomfortable disconnect with the music.

"Hey." Taehyung rubbed my arm from beside me. "What's wrong?"

"Earphones," I mumbled drowsily, upset. "Falling."

"Okay, they're falling?" He carefully arranged the fallen one back in, but the music was overstimulating just waking up, and I pulled both earphones out. "No more earphones? Okay," he agreed, taking them when I offered them and relinquishing them to Yoongi. "No more earphones."

"Hungry," I rasped, looking down at my stomach. Patting it, I smacked my lips together tiredly as I looked out the window. "Food, please?"

"Hi," Jungkook greeted from the seat in front of us, twisting around and placing his hands on the back of his seat. "Jin said we're going to get brunch soon."

I pushed my face in Taehyung's shoulder, half-way hidden as I peeked over at Jungkook. "Brunch?"

"Yeah," he agreed excitedly. "And we're going somewhere fancy. I've been looking for places on my phone, and there's a place coming up that's super fancy." He pivoted to grab his phone. "Want to see?"

Once I nodded, he pushed his phone out, and Taehyung took it to allow me a better look.

"Oh," I said as I viewed the pictures online. "Like it."

"You do?" Jungkook nodded to himself, quite pleased. "Jin, she said she likes it."

"I heard," was Jin's response as he switched the turn signal on.

"And," Jungkook added. "I found a photo online that I wanted to show you, but you were sleeping."

"Did you save it to your phone?" Taehyung wondered. "To your photo gallery?"

"Yeah." Jungkook beamed. "You can look."

Taehyung navigated to the photo gallery and clicked on the most recently downloaded photo; a picture of a blue and yellow cat standing side by side whilst brushing their teeth.

                               

"It's us," he exclaimed proudly. "You're the yellow one because it's your favorite color."

I peered at the photo, and a sleepy, shy smile tugged at my lips. "Us."

Taehyung tilted the phone to the side for a better look. "You're both adorable in this photo; why haven't you ever shown it to me before?"

"Oh." Jungkook shrugged, playing along. "Because it was a secret photo."

"Who took it?" Taehyung asked.

"The mirror," Jungkook decided.

Namjoon chuckled, earning a pleased giggle from Jungkook.

"It did," Jungkook insisted with a grin.

Namjoon ruffled Jungkook's hair, trailing his hand down to squeeze the back of his neck. "Sure, bub."

Taehyung's thumb accidentally swiped when he tried to zoom in on the photo, and my eyes widened when a photo of Jungkook on his knees appeared. With his hands placed on top of them, his tongue was stuck out eagerly, and his eyes were glazed over with arousal.

Taehyung fumbled the phone but managed to catch it before it fell, and hurriedly, he held it out to Jungkook.

"Careful," Jungkook rushed to say with wide-eyes. "Don't drop it, hyung."

"Sorry," Taehyung offered, his cheeks slightly red as Jungkook took his phone back.

Confused, Jungkook glanced down at it in confusion until his cheeks flushed a pretty pink. "You—you saw—"

An embarrassed whine left him, and he turned back around, burying his face in his hands.

"What did he see, bub?" Namjoon leaned over to rub his back. "Hm? Talk to hyung."

Jungkook shook his head, continuing to whine into his palms.

Namjoon looked at Taehyung with a raised brow, but when Taehyung shrugged helplessly, Namjoon turned to me.

With a whimper, I buried my face in Taehyung's chest.

"Ah," Namjoon concluded. "I think Faeryn and Taehyung saw something that wasn't meant for them to see."

Jungkook nodded quickly in his embarrassed defeat, only hesitating to insist, "Faeryn can see it, but not Taehyung."

"It was an accident," Taehyung said apologetically. "I was just trying to zoom in on the cat picture."

"You still saw it," Jungkook returned, high pitched.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung offered. "Really."

Yoongi spoke lowly in an attempt to console Jungkook, "We're all aware of you and Namjoon's relationship; you don't have a need to be embarrassed."

Jungkook took his hands off his face to turn and sulk at Yoongi. "It doesn't mean I want anyone to see it." Quickly, his eyes darted to mine before his lips turned outward in a pout. "Just...just Faeryn and Joon. Maybe...Hoseokie hyung."

"Hoseokie hyung," Jimin crooned. "Oh my goodness, our Jungkookie is just the cutest."

Jungkook blushed. "Hyung."

"Yes?" all six of his hyungs responded.

Jungkook covered his face again, earning low chuckles from Namjoon.

"It's okay," he teased lightly. "You're okay, bub. Jimin is just teasing you."

"I'm not the cutest," Jungkook refuted in a mumble. "Faeryn is."

"Aw, Kookie," Jimin said with a chuckle. "Being so sweet to Faeryn."

"He is," Namjoon approved. "Such a sweet boy."

"Thank you," I managed, my voice muffled by Taehyung's sweater. "For—for saying I'm cute."

"Oh, and such a sweet girl," Jimin voiced his approval. "Saying thank you to Kookie for calling you the cutest. Is that you, honey? The cutest?"

I whimpered, squirming at his tone of voice and the firmness of Taehyung's chest and hands.

"Don't rile her up," Jin instructed. "Now is not the time."

"Tell Jimin to stop teasing me, Jin hyung," Jungkook insisted.

Jin stopped at a red light. "You're capable of asking him yourself."

"What?" Jungkook complained as Jimin chuckled. "But you help Faeryn when she asks you things like that."

"She's Faeryn," Jin said in response.

"Poor Kookie," Jimin teased. "Jin has favorites."

Jungkook whined, "Jin hyung, please."

Hoseok reached over and petted Jungkook's hair. "Relax," he soothed. "Why don't you show me a few cat and dog videos you like? Hm? Take your mind off of Jimin's mean teasing."

"Mean?" Jimin's lips twitched. "Is that what we're saying I am?"

"Yeah," Jungkook said pointedly, shifting closer to Hoseok. "Because you are."

Jimin chuckled. "Have you forgotten who you've let watch you and Namjoon play?"

Jungkook squeaked, and I squirmed at the mental image of Jimin watching him and Namjoon, clutching Taehyung's shirt for support.

"You're riling them up," Jin reproved, flicking Jimin's cap and earning laughter from the latter. "Busy yourself with leaving them alone."

"Poor things," Jimin lamented. "Am I riling you up?"

I peeked over at him with a little nod as Jungkook complained, "Yes, now listen to Jin and stop it."

"Jimin," Jin warned, glancing at the rearview to see me. "Faeryn, relax with Taehyung and Yoongi. We're almost there."

"To eat?" I peeped hopefully. "I'm hungry, Jin. And...I want to sit with Jimin when we're there, please."

He rested his forearm near his window as the light turned green. "You can sit with Jimin when we arrive."

"Thank you," I breathed out, smiling giddily when Jimin winked at me.

"I want to sit with Faeryn," Jungkook decided, one arm looped through Hoseok's as he turned to look at Namjoon for assistance.

"You can sit on the other side of her," Namjoon told him. "Now stop whining and show Hoseok those videos."

Jungkook blushed but listened, resting his head on Hoseok's shoulder and pointing out where the videos were.

"Click on it for me," Hoseok instructed, passing a hand through Jungkook's hair. "There you go." He ruffled his hair fondly. "Thank you."

"Hoseok," I pleaded, desperate for the attention that was being lavished on Jungkook.

He shifted, continuing to pet Jungkook's hair as he met my eye. "Mhm?"

"I want to sit with you, too," I whispered.

He smiled fondly. "I don't think we can all sit side by side."

"I want to," I insisted. "I...I want to, please."

Jimin began to respond, but Jin slapped his cap with enough force for it to fall to prevent him from speaking, earning laughter from Namjoon.

"How about," Hoseok suggested with a chuckle, "I sit next to you in the car when we finish up in the diner?"

"But...I can't sit with Yoongi and Taehyung." I sighed tremulously, earning a tight squeeze from Taehyung. "I want to sit with everyone."

"Faeryn," Jungkook breathed out, turning to look at me with his pretty, round eyes. "You're so cute."

I blushed, and when Yoongi's fingers skimmed my leg as I squirmed, I shivered.

"Oh, the poor thing," Jimin soothed. "It's okay, honey."

"It would be okay," Jin ground out. "If you hadn't riled her up."

Yoongi retracted his fingers with a subdued apology. "That wasn't my intention," he apologized.

With an overwhelmed shudder, I hid back in Taehyung's form and tried to gather my bearings before we arrived at the diner.

"We're not doing anything," Jin spoke authoritatively, "that will overwhelm her. This is a vacation, and it's meant to relax her, not do the opposite."

The mood sobered up quickly, and shame poured through me.

"No," I managed.

"No?" Jin prompted.

"I...I meant...no, please."

"Use your words if you can, Faeryn. Explain what you mean."

Struggling within myself with the prolonged attention from everyone, I pushed the words out. "I want the teasing. It's...maybe it's overwhelming, but it's a good one. Not bad." Pausing, I remembered to add, "Please."

Jin was quiet for a moment. "All right," he conceded. "But not right now. We're focusing on eating."

I lifted my face to nod quickly. "Yes, Jin."

"All right." His tone softened slightly. "For now, I want you to try to relax. Yes?"

"Yes," I agreed amicably, returning to snuggling up with Taehyung whilst keeping a tight grip of Hoseok's hand. "Thank you."

We arrived at the diner within the next five minutes, and I clung to Taehyung's hand as we all walked inside.

Jungkook was besides himself with glee at the decor and adjoining gift shop, and he hopefully asked me to look around with him while we waited for our food, beaming when I quickly agreed.

"Look," he said excitedly as he lifted a keychain. "It's a bowl of noodles."

I traced its outline as I kept my arm looped through this. "Pretty bowl of noodles."

"Really pretty," he agreed amicably as he turned it over to check its price tag. "Oh! I want it." He nodded decidedly. "Joon will buy it for me."

I giggled. "You have money."

"Yeah," he giggled with me. "But it's more fun if Joon pays for it. He does this"—he puffed his chest out—"and says, 'Yeah, bub, give it to me. Hyung will pay."

He gestured to the rows of keychains. "You should try; he'll buy anything for you, too."

"But I have money," I refuted with furrowed brows.

"So do I," he countered. "But it's more fun like this. I mean, don't you like seeing Namjoon fawn over you sometimes?" He clutched the keychain giddily. "I love it; it makes me feel fuzzy."

"Fuzzy," I echoed. "Like...warm inside?"

"Yeah," he said with a quick nod. "Nice and warm."

"Nice and warm." I looked at the available keychains and thumbed the nearest one; a bunny.

"That one's Bunny," he decided. "That means you have to get it."

"Have to?" I nudged him as we both giggled. "What will I tell Namjoon?"

"Look at him through your lashes," he told me. "Hyungs all talk about how they can't say no to you when you look at them like that."

Flashes of heat coursed through me. "Really?" Giddy, I shifted in my spot. "Okay."

"So you'll do it?" he asked hopefully. "You'll ask him to buy it?"

"Okay," I agreed. "But I'll buy him something to even it out, okay?"

"Okay!" He surveyed the shop. "What are you going to buy him?"

"Maybe...a sweatshirt? One that he can wear on the beach if it gets cold?"

He beamed. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Really?" I beamed, nuzzling my face in his arm as he led me to the sweatshirts. "Best."

"Best what?" he went along happily.

"You're the best," I concluded, giggling with excitement when I viewed a dark blue sweatshirt that would match Namjoon's tanned skin tone perfectly.

"This one," Jungkook and I said in unison, high-fiving happily.

Traveling back to our table after I paid for the sweatshirt, the employee promised to hold it for us until we finished eating so I could surprise Namjoon.

Journeying back to the eating area where the others were sitting, Jungkook and I picked up the pace when we realized the food had arrived.

Namjoon was half way out of his seat, but when he saw us arrive, he sat down. "What were you two up to? I saw you running around."

Jungkook and I shared a secretive grin, saying in unison, "Nothing."

Taehyung looked at us curiously, starting to laugh at the giddy expressions we wore. "I think they had fun."

"Yes," I agreed happily. "Lots of fun." Tugging Jungkook with me into the booth, I sat him beside me as I sat next to Jimin. "Did the food just come in?"

"It did," Namjoon confirmed, arranging Jungkook's and my order in front of us. "I was on my way to get you."

"We're right on time," Jungkook said cheerily. "We had the..." His nose scrunched. "What's the word?"

"Sixth sense?" I guessed.

He side-hugged me. "The sixth sense." Pulling away, he grabbed his spoon. "Shopping made me hungry."

Namjoon chuckled, amused. "Eat your food then, bub."

"Okay," Jungkook agreed, and clinking his spoon with mine, he took a big bite before offering me a spoonful. I took his offer and chewed around it, surprised at the flavor.

"It's good," I said, my hand over my mouth to hide my chewing. "Really good."

Proud of his food choice, he confirmed good-naturedly, "I know."

Namjoon arched a brow as he watched us share our food. "While you were both shopping, Yoongi noticed a book shop nearby."

I perked up and leaned forward to look at Yoongi who sat beside Hoseok. "A book shop?"

He cut into his chicken as he caught my eye. "Yes."

"We looked them up," Taehyung revealed. "It has a vinyl he's been wanting."

"Really?" I asked. "That's really great! Are we going after we eat?"

"If you feel up to it, we can," Jin confirmed. "If not, we can wait in the car while he buys it."

"I want to go," I said with knitted brows. "I can go; I can do it. And Namjoon likes books, so he can book shop." I paused. "If he wants to."

Namjoon smiled handsomely around the rim of his glass. "He wants to."

I smiled shyly. "Okay."

Jimin squeezed my inner thigh before offering a light pat. "So sweet."

I preened and hugged his arm before returning to my food. Once I swallowed, I wondered, "What vinyl is it, Yoongi?"

"It is called 'Ocean's Tides'," he responded. He speared his chicken with his fork. "I thought you might like it as well."

"It sounds pretty," I attested wondrously. "And we're going to the ocean today." I sighed deeply. "It's perfect."

"You haven't listened to it yet, honey," Jimin teased me fondly.

"But I like Yoongi's music," I told him. "So I know I'll like 'Ocean's Tides' if he does."

I caught Yoongi's small smile before it disappeared into a bite of his food.

While brunch went on, Jungkook leaned toward me and whispered, "You should ask Joon now."

"What?" I whispered back.

"To get you a key chain."

I squirmed. "In front of everyone?"

He nodded, cupping his hand over his mouth as he continued to whisper, "I can ask first, if you want." When I nodded, he pulled back and flashed a bright smile to Namjoon. "Hyung, I have a question."

Namjoon's fingers encircled his glass of water. "Hyung is listening."

"I want a keychain. A noodle one." His smile grew in his anticipation. "Can you buy it for me, please?"

Namjoon lifted his glass to his lips. "How much is it?"

"Lots and lots of money," Jungkook responded cheekily.

Namjoon chuckled. "Hyung will buy it."

"Thank you," Jungkook said happily, nudging me under the table with his foot. "And actually, hyung, Faeryn has something to ask you, too."

Namjoon cocked a brow as his attention became mine. "Does she?"

I squeaked at the sudden attention. "Think so."

"You think so?" Namjoon's tongue clicked the roof of his mouth. "Faeryn."

Taking a stammered breath, I looked to Jungkook for help.

He nudged my foot with his again and gave me an encouraging look.

Gathering my courage, I breathed deeply to steady myself and sat up straighter. "Namjoon?"

"Mhm."

Blinking a few times, I looked at him from beneath my lashes. "Can you please buy me a keychain, too? It's a really pretty one; a bunny."

His grip on his glass tightened, and from beside me, Jimin exhaled shortly, a curse somewhere within his released breath.

"A bunny," Namjoon repeated.

"Yeah," I confirmed, fluttering my eyelashes and watching his features tighten. "A pretty one that matches Bunny."

"That does sound pretty, sweetheart," Hoseok agreed.

"Yeah," I said breathily. "Do you think that since it's pretty, Namjoon will buy it for me?"

"Mm." He regarded me fondly. "If he doesn't, I will."

Namjoon's next chuckle was strained. "You and Jungkook can find the keychains in the shop and bring them here once you're done eating; I'll take care of paying."

"Thank you!" I smiled the biggest I'd had for a while. "I want to give you a hug after we finish eating, if that's okay."

He smiled at the sight of my excitement. "That's fine."

I ate as fast as I could so I could hug Namjoon, sharing an excited giggle with Jungkook as I did.

Notes:

I'm glad I could end this chapter on a higher note than it began even if there is trauma here that needs to be addressed and resolved once Faeryn feels ready to talk about it☹️ We need justice for Faeryn and a tall building to push Ryker off of😁

Chapter 22: Pleasure Within The Waves

Summary:

At the beach house, Hoseok takes Faeryn to choose a room, and once she chooses one, she asks him to stay and help her feel good. Once at the beach, laughter and splashing ensues before things get steamy.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Namjoon scolded me for buying him a sweatshirt, but he enveloped me in his arms and thanked me with a deep kiss. When the idea sprung upon him to buy Jungkook and me matching sweatshirts, he silenced my protests with a firm kiss and nudged Jungkook and me together to keep us busy.

My protests were lost in Jungkook's mouth, and he kept me close with a hug as he kissed me greedily. I'd begun to sink into it, forgetting all about my protests when Namjoon pulled us apart, diminished our whines with a kiss, and led us to the checkout.

After he paid, Jungkook and I held his hand as we walked with the others to the music shop, sated and giddy.

We all bought coffee, and they let me try a sip before I decided what to get. I chose Jimin and Hoseok's matching order and sipped happily as we browsed books and music.

Once Yoongi bought his vinyl and Namjoon purchased a few books, we returned to the car and back on the road to the ocean.

The caffeine calmed my nerves, and for the last hour to the ocean, I added bits and pieces to the group conversation every divulged in. After adding a few sentences here and there, I felt proud of myself and succumbed to focusing on drinking my coffee.

To my surprise, we were staying at a beach house. Spacious and cozy, it came with adjoining rooms, a living area, and kitchen. With a splash of summer colors, the undertones were warm and inviting, and I gaped as I looked around. 

"Pretty," I breathed out, barely noticing Hoseok taking my suitcase from me.

"Pretty," he agreed, kissing my forehead. "Do you want to look at the rooms with me? Choose which one you'd like?"

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I can choose?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart. Any room you'd like."

"Well, I—" I pushed onto my tip toes. "I want everyone else to choose first."

"We want you to choose first." With one hand holding my suitcase, he effortlessly scooped me up and carried me to the stairs. "We'll grab you a pair of socks for the floors, okay? I don't want you to hurt you feet by settling onto your heels or tip toes too much."

"Thank you," I managed, still whiplashed by being swept into his arms and the beauty of the beach house. "I like socks."

"They make floors safe for you, don't they, sweetheart?"

I nodded, melting against him at his tone of voice. "Yeah."

"Do we need socks for the sand on the beach?"

I giggled and kissed his chin. "No."

"No?" he chuckled. "No socks on the beach? Don't you like the sand in your socks and how wet they would get?"

I squirmed and stuck my tongue out at the thought. "Gross." 

"Mm." He kissed the tip of my tongue. "No socks on the beach."

I urged our lips together, sighing contently as we kissed on the way to the first room. 

When he set me onto the bed and lifted my legs on it to keep my bare feet from touching the floor, he leaned down to kiss me deeply.

"Comfy," I murmured into it. "I want this room."

"This one?" He chuckled, pressing a few quick kisses to my lips before deepening the final one. "Do you want to look around first?"

"No." I shook my head. "This one."

"Okay," he agreed, amused. "This one." Gently pushing me down, he laid me on my back. "How about I help you relax? Kiss you for a bit while the others get settled in?"

"Yes," I confirmed eagerly. "Kiss me."

He hummed in response, coaxing our lips back together and easing me further into the mattress. Sinking into him was easy, effortless, and with every swipe of his tongue against mine, the tension coursing through me eased.

"Hoseok," I panted as he rested his forehead against mine. "Can...is it okay if you..." Tentatively, I took his hand and brought it down to my inner thighs. 

He kissed me tenderly. "What do you need?"

"Touch me?" I whispered. "I...I can take it."

"I don't want to do anything that will overwhelm you," he said, using the same tone as I was. 

"It's the good kind," I told him. "But you—you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to do whatever will make you feel good." He nudged our noses together. "Will it make you feel good if I touched you, sweetheart? Will it relax you?"

"Yes," I breathed out hopefully. "Really good, Hoseok, please."

"All right," he murmured. "Deep breaths for me. Hm? Take some deep breaths."

My chest stammered with excitement as I did as he said, and I moaned when his fingers caressed me through my pants.

"Thank you," I stammered, bucking my hips to earn more of his touch. "Feels good."

"Mm." He prodded our lips back together as he lifted his hand to my waistband and urged it down past my hips. "Would it feel better if I took these off, or would you like to keep them on?"

"Off, please," I pleaded. "Can—can you take them off?"

"Of course I can." He squeezed my waist as he lowered my pants, removing my panties next. "Such pretty panties, sweetheart. Look at the little flowers on them."

"You like them?" I gasped when he eased them down past my clit, leaving them there to admire the picture it painted. "I—I thought they were pretty, and I know Jungkook likes flowers."

"He does," he confirmed as he let his thumb ghost my clit. "Did you buy these just for him, or will I get to enjoy them, too?"

"For him," I managed. "But for everyone, too, if they like them."

"Always so sweet for us, aren't you?" 

"Yeah, I—I try to be sweet," I whimpered, wiggling my hips needily. "Please, can you kiss it?"

"Do you want me to kiss your pretty clit?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes, please."

Lowering his face, he pressed a quick kiss to my clit before pressing his tongue flat against it. I whined with pleasure, lifting my hips and moaning when he licked around it.

"There we go," he hummed against it. "Delicious."

I stammered my thanks as I watched him unbuckle his belt. Taking his cock out, he was already hard as he stroked himself. 

"Want you," I begged.

"You'll have me," he promised gently. "Just keep taking those deep breaths for me."

"Okay," I agreed shakily as he pushed his cock against my panties and stroked himself slowly. Each stroke caused him to brush against my entrance, and I whined, wordlessly pleading for more.

Slipping my panties to the side and allowing them to grip my inner thigh, he pushed his cock against my entrance and rubbed it up and down, teasing me with every stroke. His cock caught against my clit, and I moaned, my eyes fluttering as my pleasure grew.

"Hoseok," I whined desperately. 

"I don't have a condom on me, sweetheart," he revealed, lifting his hand to cup my breast over my shirt. Squeezing it lightly, he flicked his thumb over my nipple, touching it until it peeked through the fabric. "I'll make you come; rub my cock against your pretty panties and clit. Does that sound relaxing to you?"

"Yeah, I—I want that." I arched my back and jut my chest into his hands, earning a low hum of approval from him. 

"Do you like when I touch you here?" he prompted as he fondled my breasts. "Does it make you feel nice?"

"So nice," I agreed headily. "I really like when you touch me."

"Where does it feel best?"

I patted my clit desperately, and my breath hitched when his gaze darkened.

"Your pussy, sweetheart?" 

"Inside," I pleaded.

He tapped his cock against my entrance, and slowly, he pushed the tip in before easing it back out. He released a strained chuckle when I moaned, and again, he pushed himself back in before pulling out.

"You can have my fingers," he told me into a kiss. "But I don't have a condom."

"Please," I begged.

"We'll have a mess to clean up." He trailed kisses from my cheeks to my throat. "I would take care of it, but do you want to take a shower before we go to the beach?"

I pouted up at him, and he chuckled into another kiss. "Then let me use my fingers to make you come. Just relax for me, hm? I'll make you feel good."

Inserting his forefingers into me, he curled them to rub against my walls, and I cried out with pleasure, letting my head fall back onto the mattress.

"There we go," he praised. "Relax for me."

He alternated between nudging his cock against my entrance and easing his fingers into me, and I was a mess, moaning and writhing in ecstasy. 

The relief of pleasure hit me in waves, causing me to shudder as it mingled with the taste of my approaching orgasm.

The past week felt longer than it had been in actuality, and in the thick of it, I hoped for a relief I thought I'd never taste again, but there it was on my tongue as Hoseok brought me close to the edge.

Tears sprung to my eyes, and as my lips parted with delight, I clung to Hoseok's forearm. "I'm—Hoseok, I'm—" Arching my back, I cried out. "Please, please, please—"

"Come for me, sweetheart. You can do it; come all over my fingers."

I came instantly, and tears of pleasure streamed down my cheeks as my body shuddered with the force of my orgasm.

"Thank you, thank you," I cried. "Feels—it feels so good."

"I know, sweetheart, oh, I know." He clasped the back of my neck and applied firm pressure, leaning down collect me in his arms. "I'm right here; just ride it out." 

Bringing his hand down, he patted my aching core lightly. It was reassuring as much as it heightened my orgasm, and I bucked my hips to chase it, whining desperately into his shoulder.

"Can—Hoseok, can I suck?" I managed to ask, breathless and wanting. "I like sucking."

He kissed me softly. "What about the mess, sweetheart?"

"I can swallow it," I protested. "Please; I can."

"You don't like the taste," he countered gently. "Hm? You can suck later. Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

"I want to suck," I insisted. "I want to make you feel good, and sucking makes me feel good, and I—" I looked at him through my lashes, watching it take its effect. "I really want to, so please let me suck."

He inhaled sharply. "Sweetheart."

I blinked hopefully. "Please."

His jaw clenched, and after a moment's thought, he lifted me to sit on the bed. Once I was seated, he opened his suitcase and pulled out his towel. Placing it beside me, he cupped my face and instructed, "When I come, you can spit it out on the towel, or I can pull out and come on the towel." He caressed my cheeks. "Which one would you like to do?"

"Swallow," I decided.

"You don't like the taste," he reminded me. "And I don't want you to do anything outside of your safe category right now; nothing that can overwhelm you, all right?"

Understanding where he was coming from, I still pouted at him sorrily.

"I know," he sympathized. "I know, sweetheart. How about you try swallowing some other time, okay? I promise I'll let you try, just not today."

"Okay," I relented, squealing when he sat on the bed and pulled me up against the headboard with him. 

Giggling, I steadied myself with my hands on his chest, and with a quick kiss, I lowered my face to his cock.

"Mine," I said with a kiss to the tip, enjoying how his hips lifted instinctively. Swallowing around the head, I sucked happily, immediately sent into the comforting haze that arrived when I sucked.

Sighing appreciatively, I took him further down my throat, hollowing my cheeks as he groaned his approval.

"Perfect," he praised lowly, passing his hand through my hair as I bobbed my head up and down. "My perfect woman."

I moaned my appreciation, and my stomach warmed with satisfaction as I grinded absently on the bed.

"Does sucking feel that nice?" he asked, caressing my temples as I nodded eagerly. "Oh, it does? It just feels so good that you had to grind?"

"Yeah," I whined around his cock, lifting away only to pay attention to the head. Kissing around it fervently, I licked up his pre-cum before taking him back into my mouth.

"You're incredible," he said, sounding breathless. "So perfect for me, sweetheart, and so beautiful. Hm? Do you know how beautiful you are?"

My eyes burned, and I looked up at him tearfully. "Pretty?" I mumbled, pausing to suck to wonder. 

His features softened. "So pretty. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

My stomach clenched. "The...the most beautiful?" 

"Absolutely," he contested firmly. Gently. "The most beautiful."

His statement negated Ryker's, and although confused, I became lost in the sincerity in his eyes. Choosing to dismiss the confusion aching in my chest, I held onto his words to digest later and continued to suck, invigorated.

He leaned his head back against the headboard with a groan, thrusting his hips slightly—not enough to make me gag—and appreciatively, I did my best to take him as far as I could in my mouth.

"I'm there, sweetheart," he told me, his voice sinched with pleasure. "I want you to spit it out on the towel when I come."

Although I whined at his instruction, I nodded my agreement, rewarded immediatly with his rasped praise.

Squirming at the sound, I moaned when his come hit my tongue. I let it pool in my mouth as he came, his sounds of pleasure making my  head spin, and when his orgasm faded, he eased his cock out of my mouth.

Grabbing the towel, I spit into it, preening when he ran his hand through my hair while I did.

"There you go," he murmured his praise hoarsely. "Very good job, sweetheart. You listened so well, didn't you?"

I nodded happily, wiping my mouth with another end of the towel before hurrying to hug him.

Gathering me in his arms, he held me tightly, kissing my forehead repeatedly as I settled close to him.

"How do you feel?" he murmured as he rubbed my back gently. "Nice and relaxed?"

"So nice," I confirmed, feeling like I was floating in a content bubble. "So good."

"Good," he approved. "You should always feel that way."

"And you too?" I wondered hopefully. "I made you feel good?"

"So very good," he contested with a fond smile. "You're incredible."

I beamed. "You too; you're incredible."

"And look at that." He gestured around us. "No mess."

"So we can go to the beach without cleaning anything up," I said giddily, patting his chest thankfully. "Good idea."

He laughed, tickling me lightly and evoking laughter from me, too.

"Hi," Jungkook greeted when Hoseok and I returned downstairs in our bathing suits. "What...what were you doing?"

"We were relaxing," Hoseok responded simply, squeezing my shoulder when I blushed.

Jungkook's mouth formed an 'O', and Taehyung turned from where he stood near the front door. His cheeks reddened along with mine due to what Hoseok's words implied, and he lifted his hand in a small wave.

I waved back, squealing when someone lifted me from behind. Arms encircled me tightly, and I burst into gleeful laughter when fingers prodded along my sides to tickle me. Kisses were pressed and scattered along the back of my head during the affectionate attack, and when I tried to get away, the hold on me only tightened.

"Are we ready for the beach?" Namjoon eased his tickles to a pause, but when I tried to respond, I shrieked with laughter as his tickling resumed.

"Is that a no?" Namjoon teased, his laughter joining mine when I continued trying to respond but failed due to my laughter.

Taehyung's smile grew immensely at the sound of my laughter, and Jungkook giggled at the sight of Namjoon and I.

"There's that pretty laugh," Namjoon said, his mouth near my ear as he spoke. Kissing my cheek, he spoke against it, "Are you ready for the beach?"

I giggled as he put me down, pivoting and throwing my arms around him for a hug as I exclaimed, "Ready!"

Jungkook cheered and ran to us, and Taehyung laughed when he nearly slipped. Springing forward, Taehyung steadied him, earning a breathless, 'Thanks, hyung!' from Jungkook. Joining our group hug, they roped Hoseok into it, too.

Everyone's laughter mingled in the air, and I beamed, absolutely thrilled that mine deemed it safe enough to join. 

"Where's everyone else?" I asked when our group hug ended. "Did they already go to the beach?"

"They're still getting ready," Taehyung revealed, blushing intensely when I availed myself a kiss on his cheek. 

"Where?" I wondered as I took his hand, swinging it up and down. "Can we go find them? Oh!" I lifted my foot. "I have my socks on. Do you like my socks? They have flowers, just like my panties."

His lips parted to speak but nothing left him.

Hoseok chuckled. "I think your socks are beautiful. Nice and safe for the floors, aren't they?"

"Very nice and safe," I attested proudly. I peeked up at Taehyung. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I—yeah you just—" He cleared his throat. "You're...you're wearing panties with flowers on them?"

"Was," Hoseok amended. "She was wearing them."

Jungkook blinked rapidly, scandalized. "You had sex."

Namjoon chuckled deeply. "Don't act like you and I weren't doing the same thing."

Jungkook squeaked. "Hyung!"

"You're fine, bub. Go get your shoes on."

"Sandals," Jungkook corrected, a near whine as embarrassment raked across his face in shades of pink. "My sandals."

Namjoon cracked a smile. "Are you shy?"

Jungkook peeked over at the rest of us before managing a nod.

Namjoon chuckled. "Okay, bub. Hyung's sorry."

"Be sorry for real."

"I am sorry for real."

Jungkook squinted, unsure.

"I am sorry for real," Namjoon reiterated, biting back his smile. "Hyung is really sorry."

Jungkook hesitated before carefully deciding, "You're not."

Namjoon's smile fought through. "No."

Cherries blossomed onto Jungkook's cheeks when Hoseok chuckled, and quietly, he insisted with a light wine, "Namjoon!"

"Am I not hyung anymore? Just Namjoon?"

"Yes," Jungkook insisted in a hushed tone as if we couldn't hear him. "Until you're actually sorry."

"I don't have to be really sorry to refrain from speaking of our sex life," Namjoon countered playfully.

Jungkook gaped at him before he turned on his heel and walked to the kitchen, disappearing for ten seconds before reappearing and pulling Jin along with him.

"The cooler is packed," Jin said, looking down at Jungkook when the younger looped their arms together.

"Until you apologize," Jungkook huffed at Namjoon, "I'm with Jin."

Amused, Namjoon cocked a brow. "Ah. So I'll have to hear about your sex activities with Jin now?"

Jungkook, baffled, blinked a few times before demanding Namjoon, "Be nice to me, or I'm going to break up with you."

"Is that right, bub?"

Jungkook faltered. "I..." He scowled. "No, but I won't talk to you for a week."

"A week?"

"Two days."

"Two days?"

"Five minutes!" Jungkook exclaimed, and pivoting, he tried to pull Jin after him back to the kitchen, but Jin remained firmly planted.

Removing Jungkook's arm from his, he grabbed his chin and angled it toward Namjoon. "He is your boyfriend, Jungkook. I'm not." He tilted Jungkook's chin toward him. "Do not involve me in your relationship."

Jungkook ripped away from him and mumbled, "You're just as mean as he is."

"Poor Kookie," Jimin said, exiting a room near the living area. Walking over in beach attire, he motioned him over. "Come here; is everyone just being so mean to you?"

Jungkook nodded sadly and walked to him with his head hung. Pushing his forehead to rest on Jimin's chest, Jungkook heaved out a sad sigh. 

Jimin patted his back. "I have something that will make you feel better."

Jungkook lifted his face hopefully. "What?"

Jimin pinched his cheek. "Everyone already knows when you and Namjoon have sex."

Jungkook sulked all the way to the front door, and opening it, he decided glumly, "I'm leaving to the beach alone."

"No," I entreated. "Namjoon's sorry. Right?" I turned to him with a nod of encouragement. "You're sorry and won't do it again?"

Jungkook peeked over at him for his consensus.

 "I'm sorry," Namjoon told him. "Hm? Hyung is sorry. Now put your sandals on, stop whining, and give me a kiss when you're done."

Jungkook blushed, and with his growing whine, he pulled his sandals on. "Fine."

"Thank you, bub. My sweet boy."

Jungkook didn't do a good job of hiding his blush.

"Hello." Yoongi opened the bathroom's hall door, dressed and ready. "I am ready."

I waved.

He waved back.

"We're all here," Taehyung announced cheerily. "Let's go."

Jungkook hopped around as he pulled his sandal on. "Race you!"

Taehyung and I exchanged a grin before hurrying after him, keeping a tight clutch of each others hands as we did.

Jungkook broke into laughter as he darted through the front door, his pouts and whines nowhere to be seen as he made a break for the sandy beach not far from the beach house.

I ran in my socks across the boardwalk, squealing when sand found their way inside them, and once we neared the ocean, I tore my socks off and jumped into the waves with Jungkook and Taehyung.

Coming up for air, I laughed as I splashed water toward Jungkook. He sputtered but quickly caught his bearings, grinning mischievously as he returned the action.

"I'm under attack!" I squealed. "Taehyung, help!"

Taehyung and I tag teamed Jungkook, and he called for mercy as he fell back in the water in defeat, laughing the entire time.

I was alerted of the others' arrival when their laughter appeared, and turning, I showed a happy grin. "My socks!" I called to them. "I got sand in them!"

Hoseok held up my sandals with a laugh. "For the walk back."

"Thank you!" I waved him and the others over. "Come on! Jungkook needs someone to help fight Taehyung and me."

"Is that right?" Namjoon tugged his shirt over his head, showcasing his defined physique. "Bub, are you losing?"

"It's two against one!" he declared, flailing around for dramatic effect. "I'm dying!"

Namjoon grinned. "We can't have that."

Looking around, I realized the beach was vacant excluding our group. 

"Where is everyone?" I asked Taehyung as the others pulled their shirts off. 

"No one else is coming," he told me, laughing as he shielded himself from Jungkook's revenge splashes. "Jin rented this area out."

My eyes widened. "When did he do that?"

"This morning."

"What?" I gaped. "He can do it that fast?"

"Jin can do a lot of things. Watch out!" He dramatically flung his body in front of mine, shielding me from Jungkook's splash but inadvertently splashing me from the impact his body had against the water.

Shrieking with laughter, I clung to him once he emerged, giddy when he lifted me onto his shoulders.

"No!" Jungkook exclaimed with fake horror. "Joon, they mutated!"

"Where did the mutagen come from?" Namjoon asked, going along with Jungkook as he approached the water.

"I don't know," Jungkook said mysteriously. 

Namjoon chuckled. "No?"

"It must be...in the water!" Jungkook furiously splashed Namjoon without warning, earning laughter from Taehyung and I as he exclaimed, "Tag team Joon!"

I couldn't splash from my position, but Taehyung joined Jungkook, and I clapped to cheer them on.

"Traitor," Namjoon pretend scolded, grinning as he scooped Jungkook up. "Do you know what happens to traitors?"

"I'm going to die!" were Jungkook's final words before Namjoon flung him further into the water.

I burst into laughter, nearly falling off of Taehyung's shoulders from the effort, but he held onto my thighs tightly as his laughter joined mine.

"You killed him," I said, waving my fingers scoldingly at Namjoon. "Bad Namjoon."

He sighed. "Ah, Faeryn. You wouldn't understand how deeply troubled I am about this, but with great power comes—"

"Great responsibility!" Jungkook concluded as he shot up out of the water.

I grinned. "He's alive."

"And going to get revenge," Jungkook declared mischievously. 

"Why are we quoting Spider-Man?" Jimin asked as he neared our spot in the water, smiling when I waved at him. "Look at you, honey. Are you having fun up there?"

I nodded eagerly.

"So sweet," he crooned, making me giggle when he splashed Taehyung.

"Jimin," Taehyung said with a laugh. "I would attack if I wasn't holding her."

"Oh, I know," Jimin returned slyly. "But you are holding her." He splashed him again, and Jungkook took that exact moment to fling himself at Namjoon, causing water to slosh around us from the sheer force.

Water sprung up to my face, and I sputtered, batting my face as I watched Jungkook cling to Namjoon's side and bring him beneath the water with him.

"Whoa," I breathed out, amazed. "Jungkook's strong."

Jimin squeezed my foot fondly. "Not as strong as Namjoon."

At that moment, Namjoon emerged with a tight grip on Jungkook, earning cries of mercy from the latter as he took him further into the ocean.

"Help!" Jungkook called, reaching for the three of us as Namjoon took him away. "I'll never make it out alive!"

I waved. "I'll miss you!"

"Faeryn!" he said in faux hurt. "You're supposed to save me."

I grinned, shrugging. "Sorry. I'm not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, so I don't feel like being a vigilante."

"Traitor!" he shrieked, squealing with laughter when Namjoon rained down retribution in the form of tickles. He was still laughing when Namjoon tossed him into the water.

"Do it to me!" I called to Namjoon excitedly. "Throw me!"

"Namjoon's too rough, honey," Jimin negated. "He'll throw you too hard."

"He can be gentle," I insisted eagerly. "Right, Namjoon? You can be gentle?"

His lips inched into a smile. "No."

"You can," I coaxed. "You can throw me gently."

"There's no such thing as 'throwing gently'."

"There is," I protested. "Right, Taehyung? Right, Jimin?"

"No," they responded in unison.

I tickled Taehyung as punishment, squealing as it caused him to drop me by surprise. He went to pick me up again, but Namjoon had me in his clutches before he could, pulling me toward where he'd thrown Jungkook.

"Be gentle," I reminded him, my stomach swirling with anticipation. "You promised you would never hurt me."

"I would never."

"Good," I said brightly. "So you won't—"

"Throwing you into the water isn't hurting you."

"If you do it too roughly it is," I insisted as adrenaline coursed through me. "Okay? So you have to be gentle."

His mouth approached my ear, and the slight tease in his tone made my knees wobble. "You don't like when I'm gentle."

I shivered. "That's different."

"Is it?"

"Yes," I confirmed, but my shaky voice didn't help make my point.

"Mhm." He kissed the area beneath my ear. "I don't think that's right." Slipping his hand beneath the water, he cupped me between my  thighs. "Plug your nose."

"What?" I stammered, listening to him instinctively.

"You listen so well," he praised lowly, evoking a confused moan from me when he touched me through my bathing suit. "Mm. Who did you buy this pink bathing suit for?"

"Pink is your favorite color," I managed, arching my back with pleasure.

"You bought this for me?" He hummed his approval. "That was very nice of you, Faeryn."

"Yeah, so you—you have to be nice back to me and not throw me so roughly."

"Is that how this works?"

"Yeah," I whined as my stomach sinched with arousal.

"Mhm. Then why wasn't I informed?"

"I don't know," I whimpered.

"That's too bad." With a final caress of his fingers to my aching core, he hoisted me out of the water. "Keep your nose plugged."

"Namjoon, don't be—" My protests were cut off when he threw it into the water. Plunged within it, I quickly swam up to the surface, batting the water indignantly as I turned to look at him.

I was met with his amused expression. "Was that too rough?"

I blinked as I processed, and slowly, a smile came onto my features. "No."

"Mm. What do you say?"

"Thank you," I said with a blush, gasping with surprise when I was lifted from behind. "Jungkook."

"It's me," he confirmed, a glint of mischief in his tone. "You should regret not helping me."

"Why?" I tried, already knowing the answer.

I shrieked as he threw me back to Namjoon, and when I returned to the surface, Namjoon lifted and tossed me back into the water. Jungkook claimed me again, but I clung to him as I caught my breath, finding it hard to do with my cries for help and continuous laughter.

"Be gentle with her," Jin called from the sand, his hand shielding his eyes from the sun to view us properly. "Namjoon."

"She's fine," Namjoon called back laughingly. "She's having fun."

"I'm going to die!" I managed my playful protests before Jungkook tossed me back into the water. 

When I popped back up, he and Namjoon kept alternating between throwing me until they were too close to continue. Surprised, my breath caught when they pushed up against me, Jungkook from behind and Namjoon from in front.

Namjoon brought his face to mine. "Are you going to die?"

"Yes," I whispered as my eyes flickered to his lips.

"Why is that, Faeryn?"

"Because." I gnawed on the inside of my cheek, gasping when Jungkook ground against me from behind. "I have to kiss you and Jungkook."

"And if you don't?" he prompted.

"I'll die," I said rather dramatically.

His lips quirked. "Mm?"

"Yeah," I insisted with a quick, eager nod. "And I can't die before I kiss you both, so please don't let me."

Jungkook pushed my hair off to one shoulder and pressed a kiss to my bare one, trailing his lips all the way to my neck. Near my ear, he mumbled fervently, "You taste like the ocean."

Before I could respond, Namjoon caught my lips in his and kissed me hard. The force pushed me closer to Jungkook who bucked his hips in response, and I whimpered as his action pushed me to feel Namjoon's growing length.

"What if," Namjoon said during our kiss, "we took you right here? The both of us."

"In the ocean?" My eyes widened. "I'll—but I'll get water in—everywhere."

"You don't want water everywhere?" He brought my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking it harshly and only releasing it when he was satisfied. "That doesn't sound nice?"

"No," I whimpered, my hips frantically rotating against his and Jungkook's. 

"But you're grinding," Jungkook pointed out in an awed whisper, letting his hands fall to grip my waist. He pushed his hips to join the rotation of mine, and I gasped, allowing my head to fall back on his shoulder.

Namjoon followed the movement, chuckling into his next kiss. "She is, bub, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Jungkook attested breathlessly. "It feels really good."

"I know," Namjoon agreed, lowering his lips to pay ardent attention to my neck. Evoking a moan from me with his hand applying firm pressure to my throat, he angled my face to Jungkook. "Give him a kiss."

I listened instantly, moaning as Jungkook immediately let his tongue meet mine.

"You taste"—he sucked my tongue lightly—"so"—he kissed me harder, and with a gentle push, he shifted my hips to grind against Namjoon's with his hands assisting my movements—"good."

I whined as the pleasure built, and overwhelmed in the best way possible, I panted, "Please kiss me."

"We are," Namjoon responded, amused, but the flicker of arousal in his eye didn't go unnoticed by me.

"No," I insisted. "At the same time. On my—on my lips, please."

"Ah," he mused. "You want us all to kiss."

I nodded hopefully. "Please."

"Yeah, hyung, please," Jungkook seconded eagerly.

Namjoon applied more pressure to my throat, making me gurgle with satisfaction. "Look at you both being so polite for me. Much different than the last time we were all together, hm, Faeryn?"

I didn't have time to defend myself, not really sure that I could anyway, when Namjoon grasped Jungkook's face and urged their lips to meet. For a moment, I was sandwiched between their bodies watching them kiss while they continued to grind against me.

It was intoxicating, being so close to them but not being to touched; a strange sort of feeling, and one that grew my desperation to be touched.

I grasped Namjoon's shoulders for support as he continued kissing Jungkook, keeping his face in his grasp possessively as his other hand remained wrapped around my throat.

Dizzy with need, I tried to speak, but he stopped me with a squeeze, and my words were nothing more than a strained gurgle.

"Wait your turn," he told me without breaking the kiss, his voice laced with authority that sent shivers down my spine.

I panted as I waited, trying my best to be patient but finding it difficult with the haze of pleasure surrounding us.

When my chest heaved nearly uncontrollably with desire, Namjoon took pity on me, and removing his lips from Jungkook, he brought them to mine, making me swoon with relief.

He was rougher with me, just as I liked, and I sunk into him as the water shifted around us with gentle waves. 

I managed a glance at Jungkook's flushed features just as his lips found mine in time with Namjoon's, and the three of us kissed nearly in time, languid at first but quickly growing rushed and heated.

Jungkook breathed my name needily, Namjoon's name frolicking on his tongue mere seconds later, and I whined when his tongue met mine in unison with Namjoon's. 

They licked around my mouth greedily, taking my moans and whimpers to the back of their throat as they set a quick pace.

"I thought we were here to swim," Jimin said demurely, and startled, I tried to look at where he was surprisingly close to us, but I didn't get a chance to due to Namjoon's tight grip on me. 

Namjoon's fingers faltered, tapped against my throat, and before I could comprehend it, he tilted my face to the side where Jimin's lips crashed into mine. I moaned with delight, preening when Namjoon's hands lowered to caress my arousal through my bathing suit.

Jungkook kissed anywhere he could find, whining and panting against my skin as he rutted against the back of my thighs. 

"Keep her in place," Namjoon instructed Jimin, his voiced tinted with arousal, and Jimin didn't waste time as he cupped my face and deepened the kiss.

Namjoon withdrew his hand from my throat, but before I could whine over the loss, I felt his hand brush my thigh on its way to Jungkook's swimming shorts. When Jungkook's whines and moans increased, I flushed when I realized Namjoon was touching him, too.

"They're so desperate," Jimin noted, amused just as much as he was aroused. "Look at them bucking into your hands."

Namjoon voiced his approval, low and deep. "Taking what they're given."

"And so well," Jimin praised, making Jungkook and I shiver simultaneously. "Oh, how sweet. Do you feel how needy Jungkook is, honey? Does he remind you of how needy you are?"

I whimpered when he tugged my bottom lip, smiling slowly at my reaction. "Mm," he mused. "It does, doesn't it? Does it get you all excited having Namjoon touch you while he strokes Jungkook's pretty cock?"

I gasped at his words. "I—"

"You what, honey? You love it?"

My response was a moan, and he chuckled, continuing to kiss me as he cupped and massaged my breasts.

Pressing his lips against my cheek, he mouthed, "You're killing me."

My stomach flared with heat, and as waves of pleasure tore through me, I gasped out, "I—I can't come in the water."

"No?" he prompted. "You can't?" He pressed a consolation kiss to my lips. "But you're so close, aren't you, honey? Our poor baby."

"Yeah, I'm—" I gasped, earning their attention as my entire body shook. "No, no, I—"

Namjoon's deep chuckle surrounded me, and I moaned frantically as my orgasm slammed into me. Lifting me out of the water, he situated me in Jimin's arms, the latter taking the hint and easing my chest against his. Once I was secured in Jimin's arms with my legs wrapped around his waist above water, Namjoon slipped his hand past my bathing suit bottom and cupped between my thighs, letting me press against his palm as I rode out my orgasm.

Jungkook's eyes were blown with lust, and Jimin's lips were drawn tightly to match his rigid features as he watched me with his tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

"There we go," Namjoon approved. "Making a mess."

"Sorry, I—I didn't mean to," I managed as my eyes rolled back with pleasure.

"So pretty," Jungkook breathed out. "Faeryn, you're—" He whimpered, and his lips latched onto the area near my neck that was available, kissing me desperately.

"Don't come," Namjoon warned him. 

"Hyung," Jungkook exclaimed indignantly. 

"Your mess would be a mess," Jimin told him, his eyes still latched on me. "You just came; you can be patient."

"Please," Jungkook panted.

"You'll survive, bub." Removing his hand from between my thighs, Namjoon brought it to Jungkook, surprising the latter when he pressed his palm to his mouth and instructed, "Clean up."

Jungkook's eyes fluttered at the command, and I watched with wide eyes as Jungkook licked my mess up.

With a whine, I began to sink into the water at the pure pleasure coursing through me, but Jimin lifted me, chuckling as he gathered me back into his arms.

"You're okay," he soothed. "Sweet girl. Did that just feel too good?"

I managed a nod, pushing my face against his shoulder as I watched Jungkook dutifully lick Namjoon's hand.

Namjoon pulled his hand away to kiss him, and I squirmed at the sight of them tasting me on both their tongues.

Jimin's chest vibrated with approval at the sight. "I told you how good you tasted, didn't I, honey?"

I clung to him, overwhelmed, content, and dizzy.

"We're here to swim!" Hoseok called, his laughter reaching us. 

"We're here to relax," Jimin called back, covering my ears to ease his voice's volume. "And we're relaxing." His lips quirked. "Jealous?"

Hoseok mirrored a similar smile. "No need to be."

Jimin winked at me and kissed me as Namjoon kissed Jungkook.

I wasn't sure how I was still breathing.

Notes:

Sex is proven to cause relaxation, yeah? 😋 (this is me justifying these horndog characters I write) also, it's probably best not to lick your hand or someone else's hand while in the ocean so you don't get sick, but this is fictional, so it's okay😁

Let's hope that being at the ocean will help Faeryn process things now that she's away from the situation...right?🫣

Chapter 23: Sex Beneath Silk Sheets

Summary:

Faeryn relaxes at the beach, bonds with Yoongi, and later has an insightful talk with Taehyung that turns rather steamy...

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Once Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook, and I left the water, Jin made me sit on his beach towel. Pushing a book into my hand, sunglasses over my eyes, and bringing a water bottle to my lips, he told me I would sit for an hour before returning to the water.

When I asked, "Alone?", he sat beside me, tugged me to his side, and let the warmth of his bare chest burn into my skin as I failed to read the book he gave me because of him. I eventually gave up and resorted to drinking water and eating a bag of vending machine cookies from HYBE that Taehyung packed for me while watching everyone relax in their own way. 

Namjoon and Jungkook returned to the water soon after they ensured I was settled in with Jin, and Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jimin decided to scroll down the crosswalk. Yoongi was off alone, sitting near the waves without submerging himself in them. It came up to his ankles, pooled around them, and pulled back to rejoin the ocean.

I noted his steady deep breaths, the gentle ease of the pinch usually in his brows, and where his fingers dug into the sand as if he was holding its hand. My grandmother came to mind, and I smiled softly at the thought of her, peeking back up at Jin only to find him looking down at me.

I jolted in surprise. "Jin."

"Faeryn."

"You're—I just—" I pointed at him. "I saw you looking at me."

"I still am, Faeryn."

"Oh." I blinked at him. "Hi."

His lips fought against it, but his smile pulled through. "Hi."

I melted, and tentatively, I brought my face closer to his. "Can you kiss me? Since, you know, you're already looking at me?"

"Are you being smart with me?"

I squeaked in slight alarm. "No, I—"

"I'm teasing."

My cheeks burned. "I can't tell sometimes."

"I know," he said, brushing his fingers along the redness spreading to my cheeks. "You don't have to always know."

"Because...you'll tell me, right?"

"I will." He cupped the side of my face before his hand fell back to his side. "I always will."

I inched closer. "I want to kiss you. If...if I can."

"You've lost the ability to kiss?"

"I..." I paused, and recognition caused a small smile to dance on my face. "You're teasing."

His smile came out to play with mine. "I am."

I beamed, and taking initiative, I rested my palm on his chest and eased myself up to kiss him. He let me control the pace of it, keeping his hand on my back to press me further to him until our chests were flush.

"Jin," I whispered as the heat exuding from his body and gaze held me.

He drew my bottom lip down with his thumb. "Faeryn."

"Thank you," I continued quietly. "For renting out the beach and...and the beach house." I inhaled shakily. "I...I feel nice, and I forgot for a little while."

His features tightened with the anger I'd only seen Ryker evoke from him. "I," he said after a moment of collecting his anger and storing it away. For me. "Will always remind you."

"Remind me?" I asked, subdued.

"How to feel nice." He rested his forehead on mine, and we both shared each other's air for a moment, saying nothing at all and yet saying so much. "How to feel safe."

"Safe," I whispered. "With you. With everyone here."

"With me," he confirmed. "And everyone here."

"I think," I said after a moment. "That we're forgetting someone."

His brow lifted slowly. I ran my finger over it.

"Mr. Stuffins," I said, evoking another handsome smile. "He's missing out on all the fun."

"He's resting," he responded. 

"You know," I told him. "Only Yoongi and I know this, so this is very...secretive information I'm about to tell you."

"I'm listening."

"Well...since you're listening..." I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, looking at them when I pulled away with a giddy smile. "Mr. Stuffins and Bunny are enemies to lovers."

His brows tugged together, his forehead creased, and then—he laughed, the sound handsome and beautiful and making me feel like I was flying.

"Faeryn," he said as his laughter settled into an easy chuckle. "What makes you think that?"

"You had to be there," I said with fake solemnity, beside myself with excitement and pride when he laughed again.

He kissed me, his chest rumbling when I lifted my arms to wrap around his neck. Showing his approval, he nudged his thigh upwards, causing me to shift onto it and closer to him. 

"Jin," I whispered, my pupils dilating as they watched his darken.

He shook his head rigidly, understanding the implication within my expression. "Not now." 

"Okay," I said quietly, chewing my bottom lip as I awaited his next move.

He kissed me rougher than before, earning a half-built whimper now lost in his mouth as he leaned forward. My body went back with the force, but he followed, and I panted when my back touched the towel and his chest hovered over mine.

"You're relaxing," he repeated sternly.

"I am," I agreed with a hard swallow.

Nudging our lips back together, his hands roamed up my thighs, stomach, and chest until they held me together as I fell apart beneath him. 

His body was firm and right, his form and physique muscular and defined—the most so out of the others—and I felt ignited, safe, and needy as his hips pressed firmly against mine.

Barely breathing with his body weight pressed against me, chest to chest, the pressure grounded me as we kissed heatedly. He didn't allow his entire body weight to keep me beneath him, just enough to allow pressure to stabilize me as he knew it did, and the feeling of safety and stability worked intensely quickly at building my arousal.

Our bodies felt like they were one, an indescribable feeling, and I released a strained gasp mingled with everything our position evoked from me—what he evoked from me.

He pushed his chest closer to mine in response, watching the positive effect it had on me as I sunk further into the towel.

Hovering his lips over mine, he spoke against them, "Relax."

My body listened before I did, sagging with relief as I gave into it.

His chest vibrated at the sight, and he pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth. "When," he said, his tone low and full of promise, "I take you, it won't be on a beach in front of everyone. You and I," he instated, his intent true, sharp, and visible in his eyes, "will be alone, and I will take my time with you."

"Time," I repeated, nearly at a loss for words.

"Time," he confirmed lowly. "In my bed, beneath my sheets, and dressed until I decide to undress you."

My lips parted. "When...when will we—?"

"Soon." 

Anticipation shivered its way through me. "Soon."

"And when soon arrives," he voiced against my skin, "I'll ensure it remains until you're satisfied."

Dizzy, all I could do was try to kiss him, and he accepted my offer, kissing me further against the towel and sand beneath us.

With the sun beaming down on us, Jin's body pressed so deeply into mine, and the sound of the others nearby, my thoughts rotated, safe, safe, safe.

꧁꧂

 

After a few hours of laying around on the beach and swimming, I drew T-rexes in the sand while Jungkook wandered around near the boardwalk.

From beside me, Namjoon watched him, lifting a brow when Jungkook crouched down with his back to us and focus in front.

"Bub," Namjoon called when he didn't move for a good minute. "Everything okay?"

Jungkook waved him off and returned to whatever he was doing.

I stifled a giggle, shrugging innocently and continuing to draw my T-rexes when Namjoon set me with a look. 

My attention quickly zoned into my project, and I didn't notice when Jungkook returned until he tapped my shoulder. I lifted my gaze to him, putting my palms on the sand as I lifted myself slightly. 

"Pretty!" I exclaimed. "Where did you get those?"

He beamed as he clutched his bouquet. "I picked them."

"You did?" My eyes widened. "Where?"

He pointed to the boardwalk. "Over there."

Namjoon smiled, laying back in the sand and propping his arms behind his head. "You were busy, bub."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed, and carefully, he held the flowers out to me. "I picked them—for you." 

My lips parted in surprise. "For...for me? But why?"

"They're pretty, and you're pretty, so I thought of you and wanted to pick them for you." He blushed. "And...I like you, and people get each other flowers when they like each other."

Pushing myself up, I ruined one of my T-rex sketches with my foot as I lunged at Jungkook and nearly tackled him in a hug.

"The flowers," he said worriedly, instinctively wrapping his arms around me to keep me steady as I hugged him fiercely.

"Thank you," I spoke against his shoulder, hugging him as tightly as I could. Holding my hands out giddily, I said, "I'll take them."

Happy with my excitement, he relinquished them to me. "For you."

"For me," I said excitedly, pushing onto my tip toes before settling onto my heels. "And now"—I pulled him forward—"I'm going to pick you flowers."

"Really?" He followed after me, mirroring my excitement. "Why?"

"Because I like you so, so much and think you're so, so pretty."

He tugged me into his arms, making me squeal with laughter as he hurried us to the boardwalk.

"Flowers," he exclaimed breathily.

"Flowers!" I echoed as his laughter joined mine.

Sitting near the boardwalk with him after I picked his bouquet for him, we decided to try to make flower crowns. We weren't very good at it, but it was fun, and we laughed most of the time. Taehyung came over to help with his phone, pulling up a Pinterest tutorial, and the three of us busied ourselves with flowers, jokes, and giggles.

When we each made something that resembled a crown, we called it a day on DIY projects and simultaneously decided upon a swim as the sun began to set around us; pink, purple, orange, and blue. 

Jungkook and Taehyung walked to the ocean, but I couldn't move for a moment, stuck near the boardwalk as I stared at the sunset. It was a painting; beautiful, sophisticated, and peaceful. I wondered if my grandmother was somewhere in it, smiling with my grandfather and parents. 

Slowly, I held up my flower crown just in case they were watching me, wanting them to see what I'd created with the people who truly cared about me and hoping they'd rest better knowing I was safe.

When I lowered the flower crown and my eyes, I was met with Jungkook and Taehyung's attention as they looked over their shoulders at me. I realized they'd stopped, waiting for me to join them, and I put my flower crown on as I hurried to them.

With the extra one I'd made in my hand, my eyes flickered over to Yoongi before returning to Jungkook and Taehyung as I relayed, "I'll be there in a little while."

"Are you sure?" Jungkook asked, looking slightly worried. "What were you...what were you doing just now?" He patted my shoulder gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm—yeah, I'm fine." I took his hand to squeeze it, relinquishing it shortly after. "The sunset's pretty, so I was just looking at it."

"Oh. Well, yeah." Jungkook nodded good-naturedly. "It is really pretty, just like you."

Our smiles mirrored each others as I said, "You're so sweet."

He shrugged shyly. "Yeah."

Taehyung tugged Jungkook forward lightly. To me, he asked to confirm, "You'll join us in a minute?"

I nodded. "I will."

"Okay?" he signed.

"Okay," I signed, then waved to prove I was okay to be left alone.

He nodded, and with a smile, he led Jungkook toward the ocean, the latter shoving him playfully and breaking into laughter as he raced to the waves with Taehyung hot on his trail in the name of revenge.

I smiled at their retreating figures and slowly turned to view where Yoongi sat, unmoved in the same position since we arrived.

With my toes digging into the sand with each step I took, I walked to him, and once beside him, I gave him a moment to recognize my arrival.

Looking out into the ocean, he said in low tones, "It is beautiful."

"Really beautiful," I agreed quietly.

With his eyes still in front of him, he breathed deeply. "If...you would like, you can sit."

I sat, bringing my knees to my chest as water greeted my ankles for a light caress. "Can...I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel better? Being here? When...you know, when we talked about depression, we talked about how the ocean might help, so I was wondering if it did."

His chest continued to rise and fall steadily, and he took his time conjuring a response. Presently, he revealed, "It is giving my depression a rest."

"A rest," I repeated. 

"It is peaceful here," he continued. "The water is comforting, but unlike my room, it isn't suffocating me. It's too vast." The wind rippled through his hair. "There's too much of it, and there's no sunset in my room. Even through my window, none of them look like this."

"It's nice to look through windows sometimes." I passed my hand over the sand. "It's also nice to...view it from the other side of the window, too. Outside," I concluded.

"It is," he confirmed. "And it's a beautiful view."

Quiet for a moment, I wondered, "Does being peaceful ease the depression a little? The reprieve of it?"

"Yes." He breathed deeply. "It does."

I nodded slowly as I took in his words. "I'm glad the ocean isn't suffocating you."

"As am I, Faeryn."

I took deep breaths with him. "Yoongi?"

"Yes."

"I think my family is up there," I decided. I fiddled with my flower crowns. "I showed them this, so I hope they like it."

It was then that he tore his eyes from the ocean and sunset to view me and my flower crown.

"They do," he attested firmly. "They like it."

"You think so?" I traced the petals. "I hope so. They always liked nature."

"I do," he reiterated strongly, his tone holding more force than it was accustomed to. "They like it."

I glanced at him, and ever so carefully, I lifted my hand slightly. "Can—I mean, is it okay if I—your hair is—"

"Yes."

I exhaled relief as my fingers coursed through his hair, enjoying the softness that found them in his dark waves—a contrast to the blue waves in front of us.

"Soft," I murmured. 

When he lifted his hand, I glanced at him questioningly. 

Rigidly, the words not coming easy to him, he struggled within himself before asking, "Would it be all right if I touched your hair?"

"Yes, yeah, that's—yeah, of course," I said quickly.

Slowly, his fingers traced strands of my hair before pushing to meet the base of my neck, and his thumb ran over the light curls the ocean provided at the ends of my hair.

Quietly but firmly, he said, "Your family is still here."

"What?" 

"They made you," he elaborated. "And as long as you're alive, so are they."

My throat tightened with emotion as our gazes caught, and for a moment, neither of us was able to pull away, only drawn further into each other.

We were already so close, our shoulders nearly brushing, and when they finally did, we jolted and broke eye contact.

Shifting back to the ocean, we snuck a glance at each other before looking out at the ocean.

"It's pretty," I offered, blushing when I took note of how breathy my voice was. How eager. 

"Yes." The wind ruffled through his swim attire. "It is."

We fell into the peaceful silence that so often came when we were alone together, and I eased further into the sand, trying to succumb to it but too caught up in Yoongi to do so. 

After a few failed minutes of my attempts to relax, I gingerly picked up my second flower crown. "Yoongi?"

"Yes."

"I...well, I just wanted to tell you that Jungkook brought me flowers a while ago because he said I was pretty and you give people you like flowers, and then we made flowers crowns—Taehyung, too—and I made an extra one because I thought...I just—I thought that maybe you would want to have one."

I paused, realization making my skin prickle with heat. "Oh, I—I didn't mean to insinuate that I like you because I'm giving you flowers or that you're pretty—oh, but I—I do think that you're pretty, just—I didn't mean to say it because I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I—"

I sucked air in through my cheeks, mentally chastised myself, and pushed both my hands out to offer the flower crown. "I just wanted to give it to you if you wanted to have it."

He turned slightly, a light flush to his face as he took note of me and the crown. "Yes," he said when the silence grew on. "I would like to have it."

"Oh," I breathed out, relieved. "That's really great! Do you...do you want to put it on? I can help."

He mulled over my proposition for a moment before dipping his chin in conclusion. "Yes. Thank you."

Eager, I pushed onto my knees to claim better access to his head, and carefully, I arranged the crown to sit on his hair. The vibrant colors contrasted well against his black hair, and I let out a breath of appreciation at the sight.

"Pretty," I whispered.

His fingers carefully traced the petals, and when our eyes locked, he murmured, "Thank you."

I sat back down, inching myself back to keep our shoulders from brushing, positive I wouldn't be able to handle it if they did.

He didn't look away from me, disregarding the ocean and pink sky, and as Taehyung and Jungkook's laughter sounded from the waves, he said, "You are beautiful, too. As are your flower crowns."

My pulse jumped into my throat, and my chest hitched at the feeling. "That's—thank you, that's—" I nodded quickly. "That's really nice."

"You are very nice," he said in return. "Today was a reprieve; coming to the ocean was your idea."

"It...but it was yours," I tried, unsure.

"Today it was," he confirmed lowly. "But when you and I were sick and spoke on the couch speaking of your grandmother, it was your idea. We wouldn't have come if not for our conversation."

I clasped my hands together tightly, watching as the breeze evoked a gentle frolic from the flowers. "It's...it was my grandmother's idea, then. She had it first."

His lips drew into a tight line; a subdued smile. "What is her name?"

"Haneul," I murmured.

"Haneul." His gaze shifted to the sky. "You are right."

"What?"

"She's in the sky."

Haneul meant sky. Heaven. And my eyes stung. 

"I think so," I agreed ever so quietly. "And when the sky is so pretty like this, that's because she's smiling."

"She has a beautiful smile."

I laughed a bit, the sound choked and warbled. "The most beautiful."

"What are your parent's names? Grandfather, as well?"

Sniffling, I wiped my nose conscientiously. "His name is Yejun, my mom is Chinsun, and my dad is Jeong."

"They have noble names."

"They were everything their names mean," I told him, focusing on the sunset to keep my tears still. "Yejun means art or talent, and my grandfather was a woodworker. He made so many pretty things, even a little chair for me to sit in at the grown-up table when I was little."

"And...your father?"

"Jeong means quiet and gentle. And he was. He was so kind, and I wanted to be just like him, and my mom—" I wiped my eyes furiously. "Her name means light and goodness, and she was so good. She lit up every room, and she was always so kind." I smiled tearfully. "I was so lucky to have them all as my family."

He was quiet. Then, "I feel as if I know them."

I sniffled, turning to look at him in slight confusion. "How?"

"Art or talent; you crochet. Kind and gentle; I don't believe you know how to be anything but. Light and goodness; you are light, Faeryn. You bring it with you wherever you go." He turned at the exact moment my eyes welled with tears. "I feel as if I know your family because they are living through you; they raised the gentlest soul I have met."

My fingers dug into the sand for stability, and when the waves rose to kiss our ankles, I breathed in time with the waves.

"Yoongi," I whispered. "Thank you."

"Thank you." Turning, he tilted his chin upward. "We can wave."

"Wave?"

"To your family." Beneath the sand, his fingers brushed mine. "We can, perhaps, show them our flower crowns."

Choked up, I nodded quickly, and lifting my hand, I waved. He waved with me. 

The sun winked behind a pink cloud.

I cried a little. 

It felt nice.

꧁꧂

 

Dinner was hearty and delicious, and afterward, we decided to go out for ice cream. The night was serene, the ice cream was cold on my tongue, and my hand was warm and safely clasped in Taehyung's.

I might've realized, then, that wherever they were, home was. And home was very warm. And safe.

I might've realized the need to be home forever.

Back at the beach house, I stared at myself in my adjoining bathroom mirror. My purse was settled on the sink's counter full of makeup products purchased from convenience stores—I was nearly certain Lyric had snuck a few of Cheverie's products in—and I felt the burden of them and what they meant as I stared at myself.

I viewed makeup as a fix; a way to veil my Autism. If I was pretty enough, maybe no one would notice. Maybe I would be liked. Loved, even. 

A part of me, however, was confused. The seven men I'd befriended and cared for intensely had met me when I hadn't been wearing makeup. They knew I had Autism. They told me I was pretty before I'd tried to wear makeup.

What did it mean? Why did they still like me?

Like I did when I was younger, I smiled in the mirror, watching how I schooled my lips to listen and settle in the proper nature. No teeth showing. My lips pulled tightly but not too tight. Crinkling my eyes to show I was happy and not upset in case I stopped masking and came across as rude without meaning to.

I'd perfected it; my smile. But it wasn't mine. Not really. I'd learned it from others until it looked real enough, but mine was toothy. It showed my gums. And my eyes didn't match the joy I felt, but I felt joy. It was there; my face just wouldn't mirror it sometimes and others would think I was rude or strange. I didn't want to be rude or strange, so I mirrored their expressions and smiles until they accepted me. I was still waiting for when they accepted me.

But these seven men? It seemed like they already had accepted me. Far more than I ever expected anyone to do after my family died.

I was certain my smile had dropped with them at one point and my real one had shown or one hadn't when they'd said or done something that made me happy. And yet, they were still here. Unlike Ryker said, they hadn't left me. They hadn't disappeared. No; they communicated with me instead. 

Strange; that's what it was. Others talked over my head or infantilized me as if I didn't understand what they were saying, or they'd speak to me in riddles and snicker amongst themselves when their words didn't make sense to me.

For so long, life felt like a game I couldn't figure out how to play while everyone went around winning and earning new achievements. With the seven men who let me into their home, however, it didn't feel like I had to earn achievements with them. For the first time in a long time, it felt like I could just live with them, not learn how to live like them. No; just live like Faeryn.

I slowly zipped my bag to hide the makeup, and as I did, a knock on my opened bathroom door sounded. I turned to view Taehyung standing in his loungewear.

"Hey," he said with a smile, glancing from my bag to me. "I just came to ask if you wanted to crochet, but if you're busy, we can do it later, if you want." His smile grew slightly. "Our strawberry bag is working up really fast, isn't it? So cool. It could probably hold half of my Pokémon army."

I put my make-up bag beneath the sink, and I wiped my hands on my pants when I stood. "Yeah."

He walked forward. "Is everything okay?"

"It's..." I took a deep breath as I gauged his expression. "Taehyung?"

"Yeah?" 

"I really like makeup."

His features brightened. "That's great! Makeup can be fun; it's a form of art, right? My makeup artists love it. They say it makes them happy, like an outlet for their creativity." He tilted his head curiously. "Is that what it is for you, too?"

I shook my head slowly. "I...I want it to be, but I don't like wearing it."

He paused. "You like makeup but don't like wearing it?"

I hung my head. "Yeah."

"Well, that's great, too! Not everyone likes wearing it, but you meant that you like admiring makeup on other people?"

I nodded defeatedly. "I just wish I could wear it, too, but I just—I tried so hard and went to so many stores, but none of them work for me."

"Work for you?" he echoed, but his confusion quickly turned to realization. "It's the texture of it on your face."

"Yeah," I whispered. "It feels horrible."

"That's okay," he assured me. "Have you tried mineral makeup? Hoseok uses it because his skin is sensitive to most other makeups, and he says he can barely feel it when it's on. Maybe you would like it?"

I perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah! We could ask him about it." He showed me a big smile. "So don't worry. We'll try to find makeup that doesn't upset your senses, but if not, then that's okay, too. Makeup is fun, but it's not needed, right? We can always live without it."

"Yeah, but..." I tugged my lip between my teeth. "Women wear it, and they look so pretty."

"Well, yeah, but they're pretty without it," he countered good-naturedly. "Men, too. We're all pretty, Faeryn."

"Yeah, but it's just—I don't know." I shrugged helplessly. "It feels like I have to wear makeup. When women talk about it, I want to talk about it, too. I—I want to talk about new makeup lines that have been launched, and do makeup in the bathroom with friends before going out, and shop for it with friends, too, but I can't because of my sensory issues."

His brows furrowed. "You feel like you're being left out?"

I nodded. "And I feel like it's my fault for not being able to just push through it and wear makeup."

His features creased with concern. "Have you been forcing yourself to wear makeup?"

"I thought if I wore it for long enough it would feel normal, but it didn't feel normal. It felt...it felt really bad, like it was sinking into my face."

"You don't have to wear it," he said firmly. "And you know what? Sure, a lot of people wear makeup, but a lot of people don't. You're not missing out on something if you don't like it; you're just allowing yourself time to find something else you really like, and when you do, there will be other people who like it, too, and you can be friends with them."

I paused. "And...they'll like me?"

"Not everyone likes everyone," he responded. "But the right people will find you, and they'll like you, just like I like you—just like everyone else in this beach house does."

My tension eased slightly. "Do you really think so?"

"Of course I do," he attested strongly. "And it'll be so worth it when you find real friends."

"We're real friends," I tried.

"Of course we are," he said, starting to smile again at the sight of my timid one. "Best friends, remember?"

My shoulders slumped with relief. "Best friends."

"And?" he prompted playfully.

His attempt to switch the atmosphere worked, and my smile grew as I supplemented, "Best crochet buddies."

"Best crochet buddies," he cheered, smiling widely when I giggled. "So try not to worry about makeup or future friends; you have seven right here and one named Lyric who has a cute little crochet dinosaur to keep her company while you're gone. You have time to meet new friends and find new things to try; that's what life's all about, okay? There's no rush; you can't rush good things."

"I know," I murmured, feeling my heart flood with warmth at the sincerity sketched on his features. "It was worth the wait."

"What was?"

"Waiting for you and the others; you were all worth the wait."

His features softened, and he visibly melted. "You too. You—god, Faeryn." He shook his head. "You were worth the wait. In an unbelievable sort of way."

"Unbelievable?"

He nodded, walking forward until our socks brushed. Breathless, he looked down at me as I looked up at him. "I didn't even know I was waiting for you, but you completed a part of me I didn't know had to be completed, and now I feel so—" He inhaled sharply. "I don't know how to really explain it, but I feel so..." He spread his arms out before they fell back to his side. "Full, like I'm about to burst with excitement, but also so at peace? I don't know." He hesitated. "Does that make sense?"

I pushed onto my tiptoes and cupped his face, just as breathless as he was. "Yeah."

And when I kissed him, it felt as right as it always did, but it was heated; charged. His words, his sincerity, his friendship, and his kindness—it was mine, he was mine, and I wanted to be so close to him that I couldn't fathom anything else.

"Taehyung," I gasped against his lips. "You—you mean so much to me."

"You too," he managed as his arms circled my waist.  "You mean so much to me."

"We're friends," I continued breathily. "Best friends, but are—are we more? Like boyfriend and...and girlfriend?"

His hips stammered against mine. "Do you—I mean, do you want to be? Because I want to be. So much, Faeryn—only if you want to, of course. Anything you want."

"I want to," I confirmed eagerly. Dizzy and elated that the title felt safe when for so long, it had been the complete opposite. "Please, I—yes, I want to be your girlfriend."

He groaned into our next kiss when I rotated my hips against his experimentally. "Really?"

"Yes," I panted as he leaned back to look at me. "Taehyung, can we? Can we be girlfriend and boyfriends?" Finding courage from within me, I tentatively asked, "And...and if the others want me to be, can I be their girlfriend, too?"

"If they want you to be?" He laughed breathlessly. "Faeryn, they would love it if you were their girlfriend; they love—" He shook his head quickly. "Yes. Yes. We'll talk to them, and trust me, they'll say yes, I promise."

Our lips skimmed as our smiles grew. "They'll love it?"

"They'll love it," he confirmed eagerly. "And we can—you know what we can do? Get matching shirts—like those girlfriend and boyfriend shirts that say, 'hers' and 'his'. Those are so nice; I always wanted them, but I mean, I haven't really had a girlfriend, so—"

"You have one now."

His smile shifted into a grin. "I have one now."

I squealed when he lifted me into his arms and twirled me around, mewling when he pushed our lips back together.

"I like those shirts," I told him as we kissed. "I want them, too."

He beamed. "Then we'll order them online, just like we ordered the crochet kits and earplugs."

"Okay," I agreed eagerly. "We will."

"Should we order them now?"

"No," I refuted. "I just—I want to kiss you. On my...on my bed, if you want."

"On your bed," he repeated, his slightly widened eyes relaying his understanding of my words. "You...you want to?"

"I want to," I whispered urgently. "I really want to, and I...I remember when I was with Namjoon and you watched."

"You do," he whispered right back as arousal built in his eyes.

"Yeah, and I—I've thought about it a lot, wishing you and I could've done it, too. You know," I added shyly. "What Namjoon and I did, but...go further."

"Sex?" he asked in a hushed tone. 

"Yes," I said with the same tone. "If you want to."

"If I want to?" His hold on me tightened. "Of course I want to, Faeryn. You're so beautiful, and I—yes, I want to. So much, I want to."

"Me too," I confirmed quickly. "And you're really handsome."

His gaze shifted across my face as he took in every part of me. "Thank you."

"Take me to bed?" I whispered.

He didn't need any further prompting, and with a firm hold on me, he took me to my bed and laid me against the sheets.

Carefully, he shifted until his body hovered against mine. "Is this okay?" 

"Really okay," I made sure he knew. 

"Okay. I—okay." He nudged his nose against my cheek as his chest heaved with desperation. "Do I...what do you want me to do? What is it okay for me to do? Can...can I touch you?"

"Please," I pleaded. "You can touch me anywhere."

A tight exhale left him. "Anywhere?"

He trailed his hands down between my thighs, and when the heat of his hand met my center, his eyes darkened when I bucked into his palm.

"Beautiful," he whispered, looking to be in absolute awe of me. It awoke something within me, the mere vision of him finding me beautiful, and I tugged his shirt until our faces were inches apart.

"More," I insisted. "Touch me more."

He shivered and listened immediately, rubbing me through my pants as I ground against his hand.

Arousal shot through me, and needily, I kissed him, begging, "Take my pants off?"

"Okay," he panted. "Pants off."

He tugged them down, doing so carefully, and once he had, his pupils dilated at the sight of my panties; a pretty light blue with laced trim.

"Oh," he breathed out. "Faeryn, your...your panties are..." He tugged the lace lightly. "They're so pretty."

"You like them?" I lifted my hips right into his touch. "Do...do you want to keep them on and maybe just...move them a little? I'm..." I gripped the bottom of my shirt. "I'm wearing a matching set."

His features tightened, and a groan left him when I lifted my shirt to reveal my matching bralette.

Immediately, he cupped my breasts with both hands, paying attention to them whilst trailing his fingers over the lace of the bralette.

"I'll keep them on," he said, unable to tear his eyes from them and my breasts. "If that's okay."

"It is," I managed. "Really okay."

"Okay," he rasped, lowering the bralette just enough to allow my nipples to peek through. "Oh, fuck. Faeryn, you...fuck."

 He lowered his face, and I whined when his hot breath fanned against my nipples. Inhaling sharply, he took one in his mouth, sucking lightly to gauge my reaction. When I moaned, he grew encouraged and sucked harsher, making me cry out with pleasure.

When he groaned, the vibrations caused my back to arch, and I whimpered with need.

"Touch me," I begged. "Taehyung, please."

He lowered his hand and pushed my panties aside, using the lace to prod against my entrance. I gasped at the feeling, shivering at the sensations it caused and immediately grinding into it.

"Does it feel good?" he asked coarsely. "Do you want more?"

"More," I agreed. "More, more, please."

He gave me what I asked for, continuing to rub me with my panties as he lavished attention onto my breasts.

"So"—he kissed my nipple—"beautiful." 

I moaned, my body tensing as it anticipated his next touch and only relaxing once it received it.

Pushing his finger into my panties, he used the crotch area to push against my entrance. Prodding it at first, I gasped when he nudged it into me ever so slightly. 

"Taehyung," I stammered, grasping his forearms for stability. 

"What is it?" He paused to watch me closely, gauging my reaction. "Are you okay?"

"It—it's inside."

"Yeah, it—yeah, it's inside." He looked down to where my arousal had soaked through my panties. 

I wiggled my hips needily, causing the fabric to sink into me deeper.

"Fuck," he released, strained. "You're...oh, fuck. You're just swallowing it up."

"I—I am?"

"Yes," he mumbled, his attention transfixed between my thighs. 

I clenched around the fabric, and his chest stammered at the sight, his hand pressing against where his pants were strained.

I whined at the sight, and my words tumbled out of me. "I want to see you."

His palm still pressed to his clothed cock, his eyes languidly lifted to mine, dazed from the sight of me experiencing pleasure at his hand. "See me?"

"Your pants," I told him. "Off, please?"

"Okay," he agreed hoarsely. "How...how far do you want to go?"

"All the way," I said without hesitation. "Please? Do...do you want to?"

He shifted back and slipped his pants and boxers off, and my lips parted at the sight. Already leaking pre-cum, his cock was thick, long, and a raging red. It twitched as soon as I looked at it, and air hissed through Taehyung's teeth as he clutched the head in an attempt to alleviate pressure.

"Faeryn," he ground out, his forehead creased with need. "Can I—?"

"Please," I insisted headily. "Need you."

"You need me," he repeated dazedly, squeezing the tip of his dick and catching the precum with his thumb. "You—" His eyes fluttered as his body shuddered with anticipation. "Oh, fuck."

The sight of me affecting him in such a way had me buck my hips in a plea for him, and he took it, easing my panties away from my entrance to make way for him.

Stroking his cock with no real rhythm, too desperate to find one, he brought my panties to my face.

"Soaked," he whispered fervently. "Look."

I looked at my mess, whining as I opened my mouth instinctively.

His grip on his cock became restricting. "You—you want to taste?"

"Need something," I whimpered. "In my mouth."

He shuddered, and when I let my tongue show, he carefully eased my panties into my mouth. I whined around them, the knowledge of my mess on my tongue making my stomach flare with want, and Taehyung took note of the change within me quickly. 

With a sharp inhale, he gently pushed my thighs apart. "I'm going to—I'm—" He breathed shakily as his eyes glazed over at the sight of me. "I'm going to go slow, okay? And if you ever need to stop, just tell me. Please, okay? Sign if you need to; I'll see it and stop, I promise."

"Okay," I said around my panties, and he thrust into his hand at the sight. 

Swearing under his breath, he thanked me in advance for communicating with him, and with a hand on my thigh to steady me, he pushed into me.

A low groan slipped past his lips, pleasure written into his face as I clenched around him. Gripping his arms tightly, I gasped his name when he slowly pushed in deeper.

He said my name in return, a mere gasp as he sunk further and further into me. "Is this okay? Faeryn, are—"

"You feel—Taehyung, you're"—my chest rose and fell rapidly—"so good."

"You feel amazing," he told me, his voice tightly wound. "You're just—you're squeezing around me." Panting, he leveled his face with mine, and with our chests falling in time with each other, he tugged my panties from my mouth with his teeth and kissed me heatedly.

I moaned, barely breathing as he kissed me passionately, thrusting in time with each swipe of his tongue.

Shifting from my hold on his arms, I let my fingers run down his back, dizzy when I felt his muscles ripple with every thrust.

Exhaling shortly, he buried his face in my neck, grinding his hips quickly against mine with quick, deep thrusts.

"Beautiful," he voiced, his voice broken with pleasure. "Faeryn, you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

My breathing labored, I held his face to my neck. "Taehyung."

"I'm right here; right here, Faeryn. Right"—he thrust into me—"here."

I whined as my pleasure crescendoed, my fingers splayed across his back as I felt him greedily. He drank my moans just as greedily, leaving hickeys along my throat as each of his thrusts pushed me deeper into the mattress and pillows, the blankets cascading around us and tickling our bodies. The silk sheets only added to the ecstasy, and I gripped them tightly, wanting Taehyung to feel what I felt.

Lifting the sheets, I brought them to cover his back and ran them along his skin, watching as his breathing stammered at the feeling; smooth and cold against him.

The cream, silk sheets, beautiful and smooth, washed over us as our bodies melted together, molding as one while our lips did the same.

Sex under the silk sheets, his pretty black hair mingling with my light brown, and his fingers tracing my features as he marveled over the beauty he saw when he looked at me; one I had yet to see but saw the proof of it in the way he looked at me.

When he said my name, his voice was a wisp, carried away into the tangled sheets. "You're incredible," he rasped, kissing the side of my mouth tenderly. "So perfect."

I caught his lips in mine, kissing him as tenderly as he kissed me. His pace slowed, deeper than before, and my moans filled his ears as he filled me.

With a whimper, I clung to him, wrapping my legs around his waist, and he groaned at the new position, pushing his face into my chest as his heavy breathing came and left in staccatos. 

I jutted my chest out, a request for attention, and swearing under his breath, he tugged my nipple between his teeth and nibbled lightly before sucking harshly. Encouraged by my moans, he continued, and his hips' pace picked back up against mine, bringing us both closer to the edge.

"Where—fuck, fuck, Faeryn." He struggled to speak, his body stammering against mine as his forehead glistened with sweat. "Where do you want me?"

"My chest," I offered breathlessly. "Want...want you to taste."

He groaned deeply. "Fuck." Dipping his hand between my thighs, he patted my clit lightly. "I want you to come with me."

"Okay," I agreed eagerly, already close to tipping over the edge. "I can; I—I will."

"Okay," he said just as eagerly, sealing our words with a kiss. "I'm going to pull out now, and I'll count down."

"Ten," I responded quickly, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Can—can you count down from ten?"

"Fuck, I—yeah, Faeryn, I can count down from ten." Shuddering with his quick-approaching orgasm, he slowly pulled out but kept his fingers near my clit, evoking a moan from me when he dipped his fingers into me. 

Curling his fingers, he began, "Ten."

Grabbing my panties, his hand shook with pleasure as he brought them to his cock, and I whined with arousal when he used it to stroke himself. Up and down, up and down, in time with every second he counted. 

"Nine," he continued, strained as he bucked into his hand. 

The sight was almost too much, and I struggled to keep from coming, grasping his arm tightly for support.

"Seven," I continued, earning a breathy laugh from him.

"Five," he said, skipping a number as I had.

"Three," I spoke against his lips. 

"One," he ground out.

"Can—can we—"

"Yes, yes," he managed, and we came together; me on his fingers and him on my chest. Some of it landed on my chin, and I moaned, my eyes fluttering as they struggled to stay open, wanting to watch him—needing to watch him orgasm.

He was beautiful with his twisted features and low curses leaving him as he thrust into his hand, my panties wrapped around his cock as his cum painted my chest.

Lowering his face from my lips to my chest, he took my nipple back into his mouth, taking his cum with him. Grinding his cock lazily against my thigh, he patted my entrance lightly as I moaned through the after-effects of my orgasm.

Pulling his mouth from my nipple, he paid attention to my other one, and when I whimpered his name, he brought his lips back to mine, allowing both of us to taste him on our tongues.

"Taehyung," I whimpered when he brought my panties to my chest, allowing the lace to clean his cum from my chest. It tickled, and I arched my back with a strained moan. "Feels—I like how it feels."

"You do?" He brought it up to my chin, breaking our kiss to gently wipe the cum from my chin. "Do you want to taste?"

I let my tongue show, and with a shuddered exhale, he eased my panties into my mouth. 

The taste was a mixture of him and me, and although slightly bitter, the idea of it all made my head spin with desire.

"Need you," I managed with a whimper, muffled by the panties, but he heard me. 

Tugging the panties out, he coaxed our lips back together, passionate and heated.

Caressing my sides, he squeezed my waist firmly—gently—and rasped, "You're beautiful."

"You're handsome," I stammered as my eyes flickered to his, taking in the sincerity, kindness, and arousal in them. "And you're—you're my boyfriend."

A giddy expression rose to the surface. "What does that make you?"

My expression mirrored his. "Your girlfriend."

"My girlfriend." He paused, and the possessiveness in his next words made me shiver. "Our girlfriend." His gaze darkened, and his next kiss was laced with the possessiveness and protectiveness his tone held. "Ours."

"Yours," I whispered ardently. 

Notes:

she's getting comfortable enough to call them her boyfriends, I repeat—and this is not a drill—she's getting comfortable enough to call them her boyfriends!!! Ahh their little beach trip really was a great idea :')

Also was not planning to give Taehyung a debilitating pantie kink, but here we are 😀 oh well! makes for great smut (i think??)

Chapter 24: In Your Arms, Protected By You

Summary:

WEEKLY BONUS CHAPTER: After receiving threatening texts, Faeryn stumbles down the unfamiliar beach house halls in search of Yoongi.

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I'd fallen asleep with Taehyung shortly after he cleaned me up and curled up with me in bed, both of us falling asleep to a crochet challenge video on YouTube.

The text notification from Ryker woke me up, and staring down at it, my heart raced quickly enough to make me feel sick. It was pounding in my throat, and nauseous, I pulled the sheets back and stumbled to my door.

Taehyung, still fast asleep, didn't hear me, and I raced down the hall.

Clutching my stomach to keep the rising bile within it, my hand fumbled against the wall as I struggled to remain upright.

The unfamiliar beach house layout seemed tangled—a maze threatening to swallow me—and when my phone buzzed in my pocket with another text, my body gave up and brought me to my knees.

Gasping and still dazed from being torn from a fitful sleep filled with nightmares of Ryker, I tried to grow accustomed to reality, but he was there, too. He was everywhere, no matter how far I was.

But Yoongi said he could change my number, but I didn't know where Yoongi was.

I grasped the wall as my chest heaved with panic, my body nearing hyperventilation status quickly, and with my free hand, I retrieved my phone. Lit up with texts, it stared back at it me; taunting me. Ryker hadn't texted any words; no. My notification wall was full of pig emojis.

I tried to stand and go in the direction I thought Yoongi was, but I couldn't breathe. Every time I blinked, I saw myself as a pig with bright, red lipstick.

I was crying, I realized. I didn't know when the tears began or where they stopped, just that they were happening. 

"Yoongi," I managed in a broken whisper. Again, I tried, "Yoongi."

Yoongi, Yoongi; where was Yoongi?

He was gone, just like Ryker said everyone would be; no, no. No. He was here, and we were on vacation—together with the others—and he wasn't gone. They wouldn't leave; they promised.

But what if they did?

"Yoongi," I begged in the darkness of the hallway. Tears streamed down my cheeks to the floor. "Yoongi, where—where are you?" I pushed myself forward in my sitting position, using it as ammunition to continue the hall. "I—I'll find you."

Continuing on, I forced myself to make my way through the darkness toward where he could be. His lamp could always be seen beneath his door at night; it had to be the same here.

And it was. I saw it—at the end of the hall. A different shade of light from back at home, but it was light, and where there was light, there was Yoongi.

Stumbling to my feet, my feet stammered across the floor, taking me to his door. 

Curling my trembling fingers into a fist, I knocked. "Yoongi," I croaked. "It's—it's Faeryn."

Seconds later, his familiar footsteps appeared, and when he opened his door, I fell forward—right into his arms.

"Yoongi," I whispered, my tears quickening when although confused, he eased me into his room with him. "Yoongi."

"What is it?" he asked intently. "Faeryn, what is it?"

"I—I found you."

"You found me," he confirmed. "What did you need to find me for?"

"I...I need you."

"What do you need from me?"

There was so much I needed him for—too much to voice—so I choked out, "All of it."

Carefully, he prompted, "All of it?" There was silence. And there was us wrapped within it. "I don't understand."

"I need you," I stammered tearfully, clinging to him in case I would lose him as quickly as I'd found him. "To talk to you, to not talk to you, and—and to sit on your bed with you and your music, or talk about the ocean, or just be quiet with each other. We don't need to talk," I insisted wildly. "We can just be quiet; we're quiet together. I—Yoongi, I love being quiet with you, so I need you, and I needed to find you, and I don't want you to be gone."

I grasped his shirt tightly. "So don't leave; you can't."

His confusion seeped into my form, but my words affected him enough for his grip on me to become constricting. 

"I'm here," he said firmly. "You can need me safely."

I cried into his shoulder, terrified. "I'm scared."

Tension filled his shoulders. "Why are you scared?"

"You said—Yoongi, you said we could change my phone number," I stuttered. "But I don't know how, and I couldn't find you, and—"

My phone blew up with a multitude of texts, and the notifications rang through his room.

When he pulled away from me, the anger in his features surprised me. Usually withdrawn and quiet, his features were anything but. 

"Give me your phone," he instructed, his voice falling flat in its anger. 

Needing to rid myself of it, I listened immediately, breathing heavily as I relinquished it to him.

"Password," he prompted.

I told him without hesitation and watched anxiously as he entered it and stared intently at my phone. His thumb swiped across the screen as he scrolled through the texts, and I watched the tension rise from his shoulders to his face before it overtook him completely.

He screenshotted them, and alarmed, I stammered, "What are you doing?"

"Evidence," he said grimly. "I am sending them to my phone."

Fear homed in my chest. "But—"

"It is scary, I know, but it would be scarier without evidence."

I swallowed roughly. "Okay," I whispered.

He continued, and once the screenshots stopped, he clicked the home button. Lowly, he explained, "You can change your phone number in your provider's app."

"What if...what if Ryker finds out?" I asked worriedly.

"He can't do anything to you. He has no access to HYBE, and therefore, no access to you."

"What—but what about the police?"

"He's a coward who hides behind his texts," he said flatly. "He's asking for your money, Faeryn. I don't see how he will afford a lawyer."

"I can't either," I stressed.

"He knows you can't," he said rigidly. "It's part of the manipulation; a tactic to evoke fear. It's highly unlikely," he reiterated, "that he will take you to court. He can't afford a lawyer, and he's aware that his threats and evicting you from your apartment were illegal. If anyone should be threatening legal action, Faeryn, it is you."

"I don't want to," I refuted quickly, horrified. "I—I don't want to see him ever again, so you can't make me, please, Yoongi; don't make me. I just want him to leave me alone; I want this to be over." My tears wrecked me. "I don't want to be a pig anymore."

His throat tightened. "You are not and have never been a pig. You are Faeryn, and you are beautiful. He," he spoke rigidly, "is projecting."

"Projecting?" I wondered tearfully.

"Everything he's accusing you of, he's done. He didn't pay rent, he's lying to everyone he meets about what truly happened, he lacks maturity, he is childish and petty, and everything wrong with the relationship was his fault; not yours. Never," he said heatedly, "yours."

"It...it doesn't feel like it," I admitted. 

"I know." His lips set into a straight line. "That is what he wanted; for you to believe it was your fault."

I choked up again. "Yoongi?"

"Yes, Faeryn." His brows furrowed. "I'm right here."

I shook my head quickly. Desperately. "I want this to be over."

"The minute he evicted you, it was over."

"But he's—no, because he's still texting me," I insisted, confused. "It's not over if he's still here."

"Is he here? I don't see him." He looked at me closely. "Do you?"

"No, but...but he's...the texts," I tried. "He keeps texting me."

"He won't be able to anymore."

"But...the police."

"I dare him," he said hoarsely, "to try."

My lips parted before they closed, and confusion ran rampant through me. "I don't...I don't understand."

"He is acting out," he elaborated slowly, "because he knows he cannot control you anymore. He's threatening legal action to scare you, not because he will take any. He is projecting and speaking ill of you because he cannot stand to self-reflect, knowing it's easier to shift the blame of what he's done onto someone else. Onto you. It was over," he reiterated, "the moment he evicted you."

"It...but..."

"It was over," he continued, "when you didn't go back. When you lived with us. When you saved up for your own apartment. When you ignored his texts. It ended, Faeryn, when he expected it to go on. Perhaps you expected to go back to him after he evicted you, but you didn't go back; you roamed the streets instead, preferring their danger to his."

Firmly, he said, "You ended it."

Everything spun uncertainly. "I...I didn't. I just walked to the park, and then...then I was just lucky that you gave me a place to stay."

"Even if we hadn't," he negated. "You wouldn't have gone back. When you were under the assumption we wouldn't let you stay, you stayed at the park, and you would've continued to do so until you saved for an apartment. You ended it, Faeryn. Not him. You."

He shifted my phone towards me, letting me view the screen. "You can choose your new number; one he will never know."

I blinked at the screen through my blurry vision, and with a strained breath of hope, I pressed the first one. 

"Okay," he talked me through it. "Click on 'next'."

I listened, following his instructions until a screen popped up to notify us that the number was successfully changed.

"Now," he told me, "we power off the phone for the change to take effect."

"Oh," I breathed out, my tears beginning to slow from the focus I'd had to use. "It's...it's done?"

"It's done."

"No more texts from him?" 

"No more."

"And...and I can give you all my new number?" I asked hopefully. "Lyric, too? And new friends—when I make them?" Breathlessly, I told him, "Taehyung said I would make new friends."

"You will. And yes, you can give us your new number." Powering my phone back on, he returned it to me. "We'll add you to the group chat, remove your old number, and go on."

"Go on," I repeated slowly.

"Go on," he confirmed. "Without Ryker."

I sniffled. "Okay. I want that."

"Then you'll have it."

"Can...Yoongi?"

"Yes."

I looked at him hopefully. "Can I hug you?"

He took me into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head, curling his arms around me and applying firm pressure.

"He won't hurt you with us around," he spoke into my hair. "We won't let him." 

I clung to him with no intent of letting go, and when he realized this, he asked carefully, "Would you like to stay in here? I can sleep on the couch."

"You don't have to," I whispered into his shoulder. "You can stay on the bed."

"I haven't..." He cleared his throat as his embrace warmed me. "Faeryn, I don't share sleeping arrangements with people."

"Oh." I stiffened in his arms. "I'm—I'm sorry. I can go; it's okay, really, I—"

He only held me tighter when I tried to leave his hold, and like second nature, I sunk back into him.

"Stay," he voiced huskily. "Take the bed."

"Okay," I whispered. "Can...is it okay if we sit on your bed until I fall asleep?"

He took a moment. Then, "All right."

Under the blankets, I looked at him as he sat on top of them, fitting his headphones around my ears.

His favorite song flooded my ears, and I eased into his pillows. They smelled like coming home. Burying my face within them, I inhaled greedily and deeply as his voice and music lulled me closer to sleep.

I reached for him when sleep bombarded me, needing comfort before I slipped away into nightmares surrounding Ryker.

He held my wrist instead of my hand, but he held me as his song and presence comforted me.

"Yoongi," I whispered, managing to open my eyes to see him looking at me. 

His features were tired and soft, and he lowered his chin to signal I held his attention.

"Thank you," I lisped. "I like your bed, and I like...you." My eyes closed against my will, and the next wave of exhaustion took me under—but not before Yoongi's fingers slipped from my wrist to intertwine with mine.

꧁꧂

 

"Faeryn," Jin said upon my arrival in his room when morning came. Sitting on his bed, he lowered the volume on the TV. "Good morning."

"Morning," I repeated, my words stifled by my face half-hidden in Mr. Stuffins. 

He patted his bed. "Come sit."

I hurried to avail myself of the opportunity, sighing contentedly when he brought me beneath the blankets with him.

Breathing deeply, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "How did you sleep?"

I curled into his side, busying myself with setting Mr. Stuffins onto his lap. When I didn't respond, Jin grasped my chin, tilting it up to see him. 

"How did you sleep?" he repeated, his arched brow awaiting my response.

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. "I...I think I have to tell you something."

"You think?"

I tried to ease my face back into his form, keen on hiding, but his hold on my chin didn't allow it.

"Faeryn," he prompted lowly. A light warning.

I squirmed uncertainly. "Please."

"Please?"

"Just...just have to put my face in your shirt."

He considered my request, conceding in the end as he released my face. "Go ahead."

Relieved, I thanked him before burying my face in his shirt and taking a few deep breaths in preparation for what I wanted to reveal.

"Talk to me," he instructed, his morning voice deep and gravelly. 

I nosed into his shirt. "Jin."

"I'm listening."

"I...well, I have something to tell you."

He nudged my mouth slightly out into the open to keep my words from being muffled. "You can tell me."

"It's...it's okay," I made sure he knew. "I just...I know you said we communicate, so I want to communicate. Because I can do that; I can communicate."

"I know you can."

I gathered his shirt in my hand and held on tight. "I...I changed my number; well, Yoongi did. He showed me how."

His hand stilled on my back. "Do you want to tell me why Yoongi helped change your number?"

"Oh. Yeah," I agreed good-naturedly. "Because I asked him to."

"I understand that, Faeryn. I meant to ask what the reason was for the number change." His hand resuming rubbing my back. "I should have worded it better."

"Oh." I nodded, causing his shirt to rise and fall with the movement. "That's what I have to tell you."

His other hand passed through my hair. "Relax."

"Sorry, I'm just"—I inhaled shakily—"nervous."

"That's all right. Take your time and deep breaths." 

"I am. I...I can."

"I know you can."

"Yeah." My next breath stammered on itself. "I don't want you to be angry, even if it's not with me. It...it just makes me a little scared."

"Why would I be angry?"

My voice dipped into a whisper. "You always get angry when I talk about...him."

Tension filled his form. "Faeryn."

"Yes?"

"Has Ryker been contacting you?"

I swallowed roughly. "Yeah, on...on my phone."

He took an unsteady breath. "How long?"

"What?" I asked tentatively.

"How long has he been contacting you?"

"Oh. Maybe...maybe two weeks."

He gripped my arm. Tightly. "Two weeks?"

I squeaked. "Yeah, he—yeah."

"Has he tried to enter HYBE? We haven't been notified, but if he's found  a way—"

"No," I assured him quickly. "He—no, he hasn't. He just—he said he would last night. Well, technically this morning—really early—but he hasn't."

"He's been threatening you?" His voice dropped to a low rumble. "Give me your phone."

"What?" I managed.

"Your phone, Faeryn. Now."

"I don't—but I don't want you to see what he said," I stressed.

"Faeryn."

"No, please." I lifted my face to look at him, pleading with my eyes. "Please, Jin. I—I don't want you to."

Anger flickered in his eyes. "I won't ask again."

"Jin," I pleaded.

"Set your boundary," he instructed lowly. "Or give me your phone."

"I...I don't want you to see it."

"Why, Faeryn? What are you afraid of?"

My chin wobbled. "I don't want you to see what he says."

"There is nothing," he negated firmly, his voice laced with anger, "that will make me see you the way he tries to paint you. Do you understand me? You're Faeryn, and Faeryn will be all I see, text or no text. Now," he continued, dipping his face to mine. "You can set your boundary, or you can give me your phone."

"I was—I just—" My pulse quickened. "I wanted to communicate."

"And you are," he confirmed. "And while I'm thankful for that, I need to see what he said."

"Why?" I asked tremulously. "Yoongi and I changed my number, so he won't text me anymore."

"I want to see what he put in your head," he said, irate. "So I can take it out."

"Jin," I whispered.

"He's been threatening you, Faeryn, and for the past two weeks, you've been experiencing verbal shutdowns and multiple panic attacks. Whatever he texted affected you, and I don't want you to harbor it; if you do, it will keep affecting you. Do you want that?"

"No," I stammered.

He cupped the side of my face. "Do you believe what he texted you?"

My lip trembled. "Yes," I whispered.

His features clouded. "Then give me your phone."

"It's...it's in my pocket."

He retrieved it, and before he could ask for my passcode, his eyes caught on my quivering lips. "It's all right," he said, an inch softer than he'd been speaking. "I'm right here."

"I feel...scared," I managed.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel." He kissed my forehead protectively. "I won't let anything happen to you, do you hear me? The words of a liar mean nothing to me, but your words do, Faeryn; they mean everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything." He kissed my cheek next, then my lips. "And I want you to remember that. Yes? I'm on your side, not his, and I never will be."

"Even if..." My throat tightened with apprehension. "You read the texts?"

"Even if."

I breathed unsteadily. "Can I hold your hand?"

He took my hand and let me squeeze as tightly as I could, telling me in low timbre, "Hold onto me; I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" I tried.

"I promise," he confirmed.

"Okay," I whispered.

With another chaste to my forehead, he rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb as he navigated to my texts after I relayed my passcode. Ryker was the last person who texted me, and with tension lining Jin's forehead, he tapped on our texts.

What met both of our eyes first was the assortment of pig emojis. Jin's hold of my hand tightened to the point of pain, and irate, he pressed his thumb deeper into my screen in an attempt to control his anger.

Each swipe earned more of his anger, but he never let go of my hand. It was written into his features how much he loathed Ryker. My stomach stirred at the sight, trying to become accustomed to the sight of anger not directed towards me. His anger brought a sense of safety with it, the very fiery backing it alive and well to keep me protected and safe, and clinging to him, a sharp shudder jolted my senses. 

At the sudden jolt, he pressed me closer to him, running his hand through my hair and clasping the back of my neck possessively. 

"I'm right here," he told me, his voice nothing more than a low rumble. "Breathe for me."

I listened to him, schooling my chest to rise and fall as steadily as possible, and with my free hand, I placed Mr. Stuffins on my chest for added pressure. He caught the movement and voiced his deep approval before returning his eyes to my phone.

Two long minutes drew on before he angled my phone toward me and pressed his thumb to a certain text. "This," he said lowly. "Tell me why you believe this."

They'll see how disgusting you are, just like I did.

I tensed considerably. "I...I don't know."

His eyes tracked my face and anxious twitches. "Did you believe those words before you met him?"

My breathing faltered, and pain traveled from my stomach to my temples. "I..." 

"My beautiful girl," my mother told me, smiling down at me fondly. "Can you show Daddy your dinosaur action figures?"

Five-year-old me giggled with excitement, scrambling to my feet as I pushed out my T-rex to my father and his cam recorder. 

"What dinosaur is that?" he asked with a smile. "Can you tell the camera?"

"Yeah," I agreed happily. "It's a T-rex. See?" I poked its arms. "It has little baby arms."

He and my mother laughed, earning happy squirms from me. 

"Mommy, Daddy, we can go to the big place tomorrow," I said. "With the dinosaurs."

"The museum?" my father laughed. "Yeah, we can go, no problem. I'm sure the dinos miss having you around."

"Yeah, they miss me lots!" I took a big bite of my cheese sandwich, giggling when the mustard smeared across my cheek. "Disgusting."

My mother lowered herself to dab at the mustard with a napkin with one of her silvery laughs. "You're not disgusting. It's just a little bit of mustard, isn't it?"

I beamed up at her, patting her cheeks as she cleaned mine. "Love you, Mommy."

"I love you too," she said with a pretty smile, kissing my cheek and leaving a lipstick stain in her wake.

I squealed, struggling to wipe it off. "Daddy, help! Mommy left a kiss on my face!"

I earned both their laughter as my mother wiped her lipstick mark off.

My eyes filled. "No."

"When," he began slowly, allowing his words to sink in, "someone tells you something enough, you start to believe it." He scrolled down. "This; do you believe it?"

Every issue between us was your fault.

"Sometimes," I admitted in a whisper. "I just...I thought that if I was good, he would like me, and if he liked me, he wouldn't..." I sniffled. "Hurt me."

"Is that what he told you? That you weren't good?"

"He...he said that if he hurt me, it would make me good."

His eyes darkened, and his eyes swam with wrath. "And you believed him? You believed the pain he inflicted could make you—someone kinder, better, and to the core of your being good—good?"

My brows wavered. "Yes. I just—I thought since no one else liked me that if Ryker hurt me enough, he could make me good, and then people would like me and...be my friend."

His features tensed before they fell. "Faeryn."

"I stopped believing it towards the end," I told him, embarrassed and ashamed. "But for so long, I just believed him when he said he could make me better because I wanted to be better so badly; I just wanted to be...better."

"Being abused doesn't make a person better, Faeryn. It's part of the abuse to make the victim believe something like that. Do you understand that?"

"A little," I confirmed quietly as I pressed Mr. Stuffins deeper into my chest. "I know that hurting me won't make me any less Autistic."

His jaw clenched. "Being Autistic isn't a crime."

"What?" I managed.

"People have made you believe something is wrong with you; that just because your brain works and processes things differently, you're an outsider. That you've done something wrong by simply existing differently than they exist. You," he said decidedly, leaving no room for otherwise, "aren't an outsider. You haven't committed a crime by being different, and you didn't and don't deserve to be bullied, abused, or hurt in any way, shape, or form. The way your family made you feel—loved, cared for, and protected—is how you should always feel. 

"They loved you, Faeryn, and even if others choose not to, they should never make you feel less than a person because that's what you are, whether you feel like you are or not."

My heart stammered. "You...you talked to Yoongi."

He dipped his chin. "He didn't tell me Ryker was contacting you; I assume because he wanted to give you the time to do so if you felt comfortable enough, but he did make me aware of how you felt. How you didn't feel like a person."

I hung my head. "I feel like an imposter."

"People have made you feel that way, and it isn't right." He cupped the side of my face, angling it up to create eye contact. "You're a woman, and if your family was here to see you now, they would agree with me. Everyone in this beach house agrees with me; you're a woman, a beautiful woman, who is strong and kind and loves incredibly deeply, even for people who shouldn't receive your love.

"Ryker," he iterated strongly, "should've never felt the taste of your love; he didn't deserve to taste it, much less alone feel it. He deserves pain, Faeryn. Deep, intense pain that he never recovers from."

A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. "I don't know what I did to make him hate me. What...what I do to make people hate me."

"They hate what they don't understand," he said stiffly. "They don't try to understand because hate is easier. It is so simple to learn of different diagnoses and choose understanding over hate, but the world is lazy and hateful; they choose what they believe is easier and more fruitful, but hate will never be fruitful. You know that, and I know that; people who choose love and understanding will always benefit."

"Then why haven't I benefited?" I choked out. "What am I doing wrong? I—I try to be kind to everybody, but it feels like they just use it against me. I have to be doing something wrong," I insisted. "I hate feeling like I'm always the victim; it makes me feel like it's my fault—like maybe I'm the villain because I'm always the common denominator."

"No," he said sternly. "Don't blame yourself for the way you're treated."

"But it has to be my fault," I insisted tearfully. "If it's my fault, I can—I can fix it. I can fix whatever I'm doing wrong, and people won't hate me."

"Only they can fix how they treat people they won't understand, Faeryn," he negated, a tint of harshness occupying his tone. "And if they don't understand you, there are others he doesn't understand—others they have hurt. Are the people they've hurt the villains, too?"

"No," I managed. "But—"

"There are no buts," he cut me off. "None whatsoever, do you understand me? None. Being a victim more than once does not make you a villain."

Unsure, I chewed relentlessly on my bottom lip. "I feel like—"

"You're in the wrong for being abused? Hm?" He tightened his hold on my face. "Does that make sense? Does any part of that statement make logical sense to you, Faeryn, or was that idea born out of another's abuse?"

My chest twinged with pain. "I'm...Jin, I..."

"Talk to me." His thumb swiped firm caresses up and down my cheek. "Talk it out with me."

"I don't know how," I admitted. "I'm...I'm confused. And I've always been confused, but after Ryker, things just seem more...confusing."

"That happens after abuse," he confirmed rigidly, reigning his anger back for the sake of comforting me. "Confusion and shame are intertwined, and they work together to make you stay for longer; make you believe it's your fault that someone can treat you so horribly, and if you're at fault, you'll stay under the belief there's something you need to fix."

I blinked. "How...how do you know so much about this?"

His tongue poked the inside of his teeth. "Jungkook."

I paled. "He...he was...?"

"The details aren't my place to speak of, but yes. Abuse occurred, and the after-effects were similar. Abusers aren't creative." His jaw ticked. "They have a pattern, almost as if they follow the same guidebook."

"Jungkook," I whispered, my heart lurching for him.

"He's healing," he told me. "Everyone's journey is different, but he's healing. Triggers happen, and they're upsetting, but he has us and HYBE on his side; support is important, and just like him, you have us."

My brows tugged together. "I...I want to heal just like him. I don't want to be confused anymore."

"It will be difficult, but you're strong." He drew his thumb to my temple, rubbing reassuring circles against it. "You survived Ryker, and you'll survive after him."

"I wish I can."

"Know you will," he corrected firmly. "You will, and you already are."

"But...will surviving feel better soon? And not as confusing?"

"It will," he confirmed, softer than before. "It won't always feel this confusing. You've already realized you don't deserve to be hurt; that's progress already."

A small amount of hope flickered in my chest. "Really?"

"Really." He kissed my temple. "Everything will be all right, Faeryn, and until it feels like it, we're all here for you." He rubbed my arm up and down before administering a tight squeeze. "We're here."

"Don't go," I whispered my broken plea. "Jin, I—I don't want you to go."

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "I'm right here."

"Don't leave," I choked out.

"I'm not leaving," he assured me immovably. 

"Promise?" I rasped.

He neglected my phone and pulled me into his arms. "I promise." He brought his chest flush to his, using our position to apply steady pressure. "You have my word."

I sniffled into his form. "Communicating is hard."

"It's worth it. In the end." He breathed deeply. Held me tighter. "It's worth it."

"Did I do good?" I asked tentatively.

His hand traveled up and down my back, soothing light pats along the way. "You always do good."

I hugged him fiercely. "He can't text me anymore."

"He can't."

I held my breath before releasing the hope stored within it. "I don't want him to take me to court."

"He wouldn't dare."

"How do you know?" I pressed anxiously. "He could, and he said he would."

"He's a liar who can't afford to pay rent," he ground out as his fingers twitched against my sides. "He can't afford a lawyer, much less the blow of his ego when he's proven guilty, which he knows he will be."

I falter. "I...I didn't think about the ego part."

"Abusers value that the most out of anything." Drily, he added, "Narcissistic abusers especially."

"What's...what's that?"

"Narcissistic?" He took a deep breath. "Narcissism is being wrapped up in yourself and your own importance, most often at the expense of others. It fuels the abuse, only making it worse. Personality disorders are...slightly different, per se, as the person being affected sometimes may actively try to correct their behavior, but the act of Narcissism—the center and definition of the word—is self-absorbed to a fault."

"Oh." I blinked up at him, causing a few stray tears to fall that he caught nimbly with his thumb. "How...how do you know that?"

"That would be Jungkook's situation; what occurred to him." His lips set into a grim line. "As I said, you and him have been abused by similar tactics; manipulated into believing the wrong that befell you was your fault and not the one who forced it on you."

I wiped my nose, struggling to keep up with his words. 

Taking note of the crease in my brow, he eased his thumb across it. "It's all right," he murmured. "It's a lot to take in."

"I...I wish I knew about this before I met Ryker," I said quietly. "Then I could've recognized what he was doing and stayed away."

"What ifs aren't healthy," he chided lightly. "They further the guilt you have no right to feel."

I shifted closer to him with another sniffle. "Do you think that if someone tries to hurt me like Ryker did, I can notice the signs?"

His gaze sharpened. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Well, but...but just in case," I continued hesitantly. "If someone does try to hurt me, do you think I'll notice this time?"

His next breath was labored, and his anger was pulled back by a fine, fraying thread ready to give at any moment. 

"Pattern recognition is a part of Autism," he spoke once he made room for words beside his boiling anger. "You could recognize it, understand something is off/familiar, and come talk with me or one of the others if you're confused about it."

I nodded slowly, slightly relieved because unlike when I was with Ryker, I had them now; I had people to trust and lean on—to speak to about someone if I was confused.

"Okay," I decided. "I hope pattern recognition keeps me safe."

"It will," he confirmed tersely. "And we will. Yes?"

"Yes, Jin," I murmured fervently. "Thank you for...for talking about this with. I—I didn't know about narcissism. Well, that it had a name, at least, now that I know it fueled Ryker." My lips twisted to the side as I thought. "I hope Jungkook is okay. I...I know he gets scared sometimes over what happened to him, and it makes me sad because he should never get scared; he should always be happy."

"He's okay," he assured quietly but firmly. "Just as you are, and just as we are. All together."

"Together." My emotions spiked. "I like that. I like being together."

"Me too," he murmured, kissing my temple. "We do, too." Caressing my hair, his chest vibrated with a deep breath. "Did Yoongi save the photos for evidence?"

I blinked. "How did you know?"

"He's intelligent; he would know to save them."

"Yeah," I confirmed, surprised. "He saved them. He—well, he screenshotted them on his phone so I could delete the texts off of mine."

"Good," he voiced his low approval. "As he should've." 

He lifted my phone and eased it toward me, the screen still lit up on Ryker's texts. 

"You," he said curtly, his voice burdened with decisiveness and severity, "are not a pig. Whatever reasoning he gave to make you believe you are is a lie. You're beautiful, Faeryn, and you deserve to be told that whenever you doubt it and whenever you don't; just as a reminder of your beauty, and I will remind you."

He nudged his nose against mine, and our lips brushed for a quick, protective kiss. "I'll keep reminding you, even when you begin to believe it, and you will believe it. It will happen, even if it seems impossible right now."

I breathed in his promise hopefully. "I want to believe it. I—I don't want to feel like a pig anymore."

"It will happen with time, and like I said before, we'll all be here."

"Thank you," I breathed out in awed disbelief of his kindness. "I feel so—I'm so grateful for you and the others. I'm not sure how to really tell you how much, but it's"—I shook my head quickly—"a lot. So much. And I like you all so much that it hurts my stomach."

"Liking you," he spoke in the space between us, secure and safe, "hurts my stomach too, but in a way that I need it to keep hurting."

"Why?" I wondered tentatively, enraptured in the way he held me in his gaze.

"Because when you're around," he revealed, "things are better. Brighter. Even when you're sad, Faeryn, you have this light about you, and it draws me in. You see the good in people, and you care intensely, so yes; when I think about how much I like you—and even when I don't—my stomach hurts. It aches. Because I believe no one will ever make me feel the way you do."

"Jin," I whispered ardently.

"You," he returned in the same tones, "are wondrous. After everything and everyone you touch, including me, you leave something important with them—something to treasure—and it's you, Faeryn. Just a touch of you makes me crave more. More time, more anything; whatever will give me you."

Speechless, I could only look at him with tear-rimmed eyes and occasional sniffles, wanting nothing more than to vocalize how much he and the others meant to me but unsure how. So I was quiet, but he didn't seem to mind. Instead, he seemed to understand the depth of my expression and kissed where my tears painted my cheeks.

"I care about you," he said into my cheek, his lips nearly brushing mine with the movement. "Too much for you to doubt it."

"I don't," I managed truthfully. "And I—I care about you, too, Jin. So much that I...I don't know how to say it."

"You don't have to say it." A smile ghosted his lips. "We have our hands for that."

Carefully, I lifted my right hand as my other kept a tight hold of his. Lifting it, I raised my index, pinky finger, and thumb. Shaking the sign slightly, I nodded slowly to confirm what it meant.

"It means...I care about you," I told him, partially the truth. "In a way."

His throat tightened as soon as I signed the word, and his eyes traveled across my face quickly before settling on mine. Something in his features caused me to falter, something akin to recognition of what I signed, but if he knew, he didn't say it.

Instead, he lifted his hand to mirror my sign and said, "I care about you as well, Faeryn. In this way."

The sign coming from him made me look at him longingly with a strong sense of hope, trust, and admiration—and the word we signed.

I love you.

Notes:

AHHHH hi guys 🫂 I know these kinds of chapters are a bit heavier, but I think it's really important that victims of abuse know that it's not their fault. I know there's a stereotype that if you have "fallouts" with multiple people, have been "wronged" by multiple people, or don't have any or many friends, YOU must be the problem, but that is a very harmful stereotype (just like all stereotypes) and is just not true in every situation.

For a lot of people on the spectrum, we experience delayed processing, meaning we don't process a situation until much later, most times when it's too late and we're stuck in a situation we didn't realize was harmful and abusive. This isn't the case for everyone, but I know it's true for some of us, and I just want to say that it isn't your fault that you didn't recognize what was happening sooner; it's the abuser's fault for harming you, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Then, when we find the courage to leave our abuser, we're ridiculed for staying for so long. I see you, you're not alone, and I know how hard it is! You're doing your best, and you left (or will leave) when you could🫂

Even if you're not on the spectrum and have been abused and/or mistreated, you didn't deserve it, and you don't have to explain to anyone why you stayed or had trouble recognizing what was happening. A lot of us see the potential in people, even if they continually harm us, repeatedly telling ourselves that maybe they will change and be better for us. They won't, and you deserve better. You deserve to be and feel safe and loved and taken care of🫶 If you haven't left yet (if applicable), I hope you find that you can leave very soon. Please stay safe 🩷

Okay guys🩷 I hope you're all doing okay mentally and physically, and I care about you all so much!!! I'll see you on Tuesday :') <33 (and I'm always here to talk in the comments!)

Chapter 25: Slipping Into Your Arms

Summary:

Faeryn brings up the topic of dating titles with a few of her men. A few days later, the stress of Ryker's texts induces a nerve pain flare-up, resulting in her braving a doctor's visit.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Four days into our vacation, I felt better without Ryker's constant texts. It felt nice to check my phone to view texts from Lyric—most of them complaints and photos of Cheverie or a new coffee she tried at our favorite bookstore. I sent her pictures of the beach and nearby stores the guys and I visited, beautifully decorated for the upcoming holiday; Chuseok. 

I had already spoken with Namjoon and Jungkook about hopefully giving us the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. Before the full question left my mouth, Jungkook tackled me on the bed with his breathless agreement, squeezing the life out of me with his enamored hug. 

"Faeryn," he breathed out with his big, round eyes looking into mine. "We'll be the best boyfriends ever, and I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. Oh! I'll also share my things with you all the time if you want, and we can watch so many TV shows together like TMNT, and we'll just do everything together because that's what boyfriends and girlfriends do." He beamed, and an eager breath left him. "I'll pick you so many flowers."

Namjoon's handsome smile was on display, and once Jungkook was ready to share me, Namjoon gathered me into his arms and showered me with affection—gentle kisses and soft murmurs as he told me how happy he was with the title and that I felt safe enough to establish it.

A beaming Jungkook found his way onto Namjoon's lap along with me, and together, he and Namjoon made me feel like the most special, most precious person in the world.

"When are you going to tell the others?" Jungkook wondered curiously, all smiles, bright eyes, and rosy cheeks.

"I already told Taehyung," I revealed with a shy smile. "I...I'm really excited, but I think maybe I should go...slow? I don't know, I just feel a little anxious too even though I'm really excited. Because of..." I winced. "Ryker. But I'm still really excited," I was quick to add, wanting them to know I didn't regret anything. "I really am."

"And that's okay," Namjoon affirmed. "Take your time, Faeryn. We're not going anywhere."

My chest filled with warmth. "Best."

Jungkook nearly squealed, "Best what?"

"You're the best," I concluded, giggling breathlessly when he attacked my face with kisses and eager promises to take good care of me as my boyfriend.

Since then, I'd talked with Hoseok and Jimin, but I still hadn't gotten around to Jin and Yoongi. I was building up the courage to, but the interactions with the others I told—even though thrilling—were draining given the energy it took for me to push anxiety and trauma aside. Even still, I thought since Namjoon said no one was going anywhere, it would be okay to wait a little to rejuvenate before asking Jin and Yoongi for proper titles. I was excited for the conversation, a bundle of nerves, thrill, and everything the sting of trauma's essence brought.

Now, seeing that it was a little chilly to go into the ocean this morning, everyone decided on a walk through town.

Pulling on my cardigan I crocheted recently, air whistled through my teeth when pain rushed through my wrist up to my elbow. I gripped my elbow tightly, easing it to the side until my palm was facing upwards. 

"Please, please," I said through my teeth as my eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to fend off the nerve pain. 

It continued in flashes, aching from my wrist to my elbow, my shoulder, settling near my neck, then back down to my wrist.

The stress from Ryker was lingering, and although my fear was slightly eased with being constantly around the guys, the fear and stress remained, the reality of it prominent.

Gritting my teeth, I kept my elbow in my hand as I walked to my purse. I tried to ease my hand away from my elbow, but as soon as I removed it, the pain felt worse without the pressure, and I cried out and gripped it tightly once more.

This wasn't fair; this wasn't what I wanted.

"There is always hope," Jin said. "Ryker can't take that from you."

With renewed purpose and determination, I dismissed my purse and left my room. Closing the door behind me, I tentatively crossed into the hall and towards the stairs. Before I reached them, Namjoon opened his door.

I blinked over at him, and relief mingled with my apprehension. "Namjoon?" I tried.

He arched a brow, his eyes remaining on me as he closed his door. 

"I..." I looked down at where I still held my elbow. "I...I know that I don't like talking about Ryker because it scares me and that I'm scared to go to the doctor just in case they can't fix what he did, but"—my chest stammered—"it hurts."

He closed the distance between us immediately, his brows drawing tightly together as he lowered himself to my height. 

"Your elbow hurts?" he prompted, gingerly lifting his hand to where mine held my elbow. "It's not just your wrist?"

"It's...it's nerve pain," I explained with a wince. "It travels everywhere."

"The pressure helps?" He watched me carefully. "On your elbow?"

I managed a nod.

"Good." His hand warmed my back, leading me forward slowly. Carefully. "We're going to walk downstairs."

"And...and go to the doctor," I said experimentally, clenching my jaw when the sentence shot a pang of fear through me. "I—"

"You're scared," he confirmed. "I know, and it's all right to be scared. Would you rather be in pain without help or scared while a doctor is helping take that pain away?"

I pressed my lips tightly together. "With...with a doctor?"

"That's right," he agreed softly. Firmly. "With a doctor." Shifting his arm around my waist, he eased me forward. "Who do you want with you?"

I looked up at him, confused. "With me?"

"At the doctor's office."

"Oh." I tried to take deep breaths to keep the pain at bay. "I...I want..." 

I wordlessly pleaded for assistance.

"All right," he murmured. "How about I go with you? I'm with you now as it is."

I nodded my relieved agreement.

"Jin?" he prompted. "Hm?"

I nodded again.

"All right," he concluded. "We'll take you; Jin and I will."

"Okay," I whispered. "I want to hold your hand."

"I know, but you're keeping your elbow steady right now." He paused once we approached the stairs, and turning to me, he leaned down to create level eye contact with me. "When we're at the doctor's office, you can hold my hand if you want. Hm? Jin's, too. We'll let you hold on as tightly as you need to."

"Really tight," I said quietly as my breath hitched. "Is that okay?"

"That's okay," he assured me. "That's perfectly fine."

"Perfectly fine," I repeated headily. "Okay, and I...I won't be alone at the doctor. You and Jin won't leave me alone just in case—" I cut myself off.

"Ryker won't be at the doctor's office," he promised me. "And if he is, he can't get to you when Jin and I are with you, and the doctor's office has security."

"Yeah, it...yeah." I looked down at the stairs I would have to descend. My chin wobbled. "I wish I could hold your hand."

"I know, baby. Hey." He kissed my forehead chastely. "I know." His brows knitted together as he looked at me. "How about I sit with you in the car?"

"Yes, please," I said hopefully. "You can?"

"I can." He rubbed my back. "And I will. For now, let's focus on getting you down these stairs, okay?"

"Okay." I sniffled. "Is Jin downstairs, too?"

"He is," he confirmed, carefully helping me down the stairs to ensure the movements wouldn't jostle my hurting arm. "He's having coffee."

"Jin." I gnawed on my lip. "He's...he's just having coffee." I tried to be brave; I knew I could do it, even with the idea of the doctor's visit stealing my hope. "Namjoon, I—"

"I know, Faeryn. I know."

At the bottom of the stairs, Jin exited the kitchen at the sound of our step.

"Good morning," he greeted, lifting a brow at the sight of us. His intent gaze caught on where I cradled my elbow, and when he took note of my trembling chin, he set his cup of coffee down. "What's going on?"

"Faeryn," Namjoon revealed, continuing to rub comfort into my back, "is ready to go to the doctor."

Concern creased Jin's forehead, and he approached us quickly. "You're in pain," he stated grimly. "How much?"

"It's okay," I assured him, wanting nothing more than to take his and Namjoon's worry away whilst already burdened with my own. 

"How much, Faeryn."

I whimpered as another sharp pain shot through my wrist to my elbow. "I—I want to go the doctor now, Jin, please."

His features set, his jaw clicked, and he retrieved his keys from the key hook. "Namjoon, car. Now. Faeryn," he addressed me firmly. "I want you to breathe. Can you do that for me?"

Once I agreed, he motioned Namjoon and me forward. "Let's go."

Namjoon sat with me in the car, buckling me in carefully as Jin started the car and pulled us out of the parking area.

"The others?" I asked worriedly. "We were supposed to go for a walk."

"They'll go for their walk," Jin said as Namjoon pulled up directions for a nearby doctor's office. "Namjoon will text them after he gives me directions."

Namjoon rattled one off after ensuring the office had the highest ratings, and then he texted the group chat to notify everyone where we were going.

"How far is it?" I wondered, catching Jin's eye through the rearview.

"Not far," he responded, switching his turn signals on. "Five minutes."

"That's...that's really soon." I looked at Namjoon anxiously. "That's soon."

"It's all right." He squeezed my inner thigh. "We won't let anything happen to you."

My voice dipped into a scared whisper. "What if they can't fix me?"

"We spoke about what-ifs," Jin warned lightly. 

"I'm sorry," I peeped. "I'm just nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous." His fingers drummed against the steering wheel impatiently as the light turned red. Pivoting slightly to see me, he squeezed the top of my knee. "But anxiety makes the pain worse, so I need you to focus on breathing, yes? Namjoon's right there, so I want you to look at him. Let him make you feel better."

My throat tightened with anxiety, and I looked from Jin to Namjoon. "What do I do?" I asked, strained. "To stop feeling nervous?"

"We'll count," he told me. "Anything we pass by." He gestured toward the window. "How many trees do you see?"

Without even looking, I breathed out, "Too many."

"Count them."

Listening, I turned to view the trees and counted as the light turned green and Jin drove us closer to the doctor. 

The trees were a pretty color, and I got caught up in the fall decor we passed by, taking it all in greedily to escape from anxiety.

The doctor's office was decently sized; a pristine building with cars parked out front. Jin parked near the entrance, and Namjoon was already unbuckling me.

"All right," he instructed, leaning over to open my door. "Take it slow. Jin will help you out of the car from this side, okay?"

I barely said my confirmation when Jin helped me out of the car, locking it shortly after Namjoon joined us.

"Keep your elbow steady," Jin instructed. "Hold onto it."

"Okay," I agreed as he and Namjoon situated me between them. With small shuffles, I walked as slowly as I could toward the office. "Don't we...have to make an appointment?"

"They'll take us," Jin said firmly. 

"What if they don't?"

"They will."

Namjoon squeezed my waist. "You can hold one of our hands while the doctor takes a look at your arm, all right?" He kissed the side of my head as we walked. "Everything's going to be all right."

"Scared," I whispered.

"It's okay to be scared, but we're right here. Hm? Right here."

"Right here," I said quietly. "Okay. And I'll hold your hands inside? I—I don't know whose hand to hold."

"Don't worry about that, Faeryn. We'll figure it out."

A timid, frightful whimper left me, and they looked down at me in unison.

Jin dipped his face to mine, halting me in my step. "Focus on things you can count."

My lips trembled, and my hand ached to be held. "Like what?"

"There will be things to busy yourself with inside," he told me. "Magazines, clocks, plants, people—and whatever else you can see."

I stared resolutely at the building. "My...my doctor's office in America when I was little had stickers. I...I wish I could count stickers and hold Namjoon's and your hand."

"They might have stickers," Namjoon countered. "And if they don't, we'll buy stickers. However many you want."

"But they won't be doctor's office stickers." I sniffled. "Sorry, I...I'll still like them, but I was just telling you."

"It's okay. I know."

I peeked up at him, then at Jin. "If they don't have stickers, can we talk about stickers I used to get in the American doctor office?"

"We can," Jin confirmed, rubbing my back as Namjoon kept his hand on my waist. "We'll talk about stickers."

"Well...okay," I said slowly, eyeing the building wearily. With another sniffle, my shoe scuffed the floor when I took an aborted step. "I think we can go inside now."

"Mm." Namjoon kissed my cheek, saying into it, "We can."

With the deepest breath I could muster, I resumed walking. Jin and Namjoon met my pace, abiding by it, and we arrived at the office doors much slower than we could've, but we arrived nonetheless.

Jin opened the door for us, and once we were inside, I was met with the bright fluorescent lights. Immediately, Namjoon eased his sunglasses from his belt loop and onto my eyes. Breathing a sigh of relief, I breathed out my quiet thanks as Jin's hand on my back led me to the front desk.

"Good morning," Jin greeted the receptionist, an older lady in her mid-fifties. 

She looked up from the computer, over the rim of her glasses, and at the three of us. "Appointment?"

"We're here to make one," Jin responded curtly. Arching a brow when she simply stared at him, he stared back unflinchingly. 

She tapped her acrylic nails against the keyboard as she zoned in on Jin, and as she squinted, she used her pen to point at him. "I know you."

"No," he refuted coolly. "You don't." Placing his palms on the reception counter, he leaned forward to create level contact with her. "And I would appreciate it if you would schedule us to see a doctor who specializes in nerve pain."

She slowly tore her eyes from him grudgingly. "Uh-huh. Sure." She waved her pen around before tossing it back into a cup full of pencils. "But I know you. Are you famous? Someone on billboards?"

Jin's gaze intensified and hardened all at once, and she withered slightly. 

"Nerve pain," she said as she cleared her throat. "Patient's name? Area of nerve pain?"

"Left arm, starting from the wrist to shoulder," he relayed. "The patient's name is Faeryn Petal."

Her eyes flickered to mine. "That's...a whimsical name, you know."

I swallowed roughly, unsure if she meant it as a compliment or not.

"Thank you," Namjoon answered in my place, and I inched closer to him in response.

"Mhmmm," she drew out as she entered information in the computer's database. "Date of birth?"

I told her, jolting in my spot when she said quite loudly, "What was that?"

Jin repeated it while Namjoon made sure I kept my elbow stabilized. 

"Insurance?" she quizzed.

I blanked.

"Do you have a copy of it?" Namjoon asked me gently. "On your phone?"

"I...yeah, I—I think so," I stammered.

"Good," he praised. "You just point out where it is, all right? I can grab your phone from your pocket, so you can keep your elbow still."

I nodded my agreement, and once he had my phone, he leaned down and brought his ear near my mouth. Uncertain, I looked at him and awaited instruction, and when he realized this, he turned slightly, caught my lips in a quick kiss, and told me, "Passcode."

"Oh," I breathed out with pink cheeks, and whispering it in his ear, he leaned back up to enter it. 

As soon as he had, his fingers tensed over the screen. Confused, I shifted onto my tiptoes to see the reason for his pause.

I immediately froze, embarrassment and shame sending waves of heat prickling through me—enough that I felt dizzy and sick.

The last app I'd been on was messages, and Ryker's texts were still there. I'd neglected to delete them, afraid he'd somehow be alerted I'd done so, but now I wished I had. The anger in Namjoon's face was frightening.

Jin looked over at the sudden silence, took note of our expressions and the phone, and came to a conclusion. Stepping forward, he eased the phone out of Namjoon's hand, turned to me, and prompted, "Where in your phone?"

My features scrounged up, and my eyes fixated on Namjoon's clenched fingers and shaking pupils, all in the name of anger.

"Faeryn," Jin commanded.

"Files," I blurted. "They're—they're in the files app in the insurance folder."

"Thank you." He navigated to the insurance folder quickly, and finding what he needed, he returned to the front desk. "The information is here."

"Angle the phone down a little. Yes. There." The woman squinted as she typed the information into the system, and I shuffled anxiously as Namjoon's jaw kept clicking. "All righhttttt, it's in the system now."

"When can we expect to be seen?" Jin asked, drawing me to him when he took note of my incessant shaking. "She's in pain."

"It's not too busy today," the woman revealed. "Shouldn't be long."

"Estimated time, please."

The woman looked at her screen, clicked away a few times, and decided, "Ten minutes."

"All right." Jin nodded curtly. "Thank you. And the doctor's name?"

"Ms. Honeycut." She peered at me over the rim of her glasses. "She's good, so you can stop shaking. You'll be in good hands."

Jin tightened his hold on me, and pivoting us toward the chairs, he administered another curt thank you before settling me into a chair.

Namjoon took the seat on the opposite side of me, keeping me seated between him and Jin, and I peeked at him tentatively to try and gauge his reaction to seeing the texts. He'd already been made aware of the texts; everyone had been so they could be kept in the loop, but seeing the texts was different. Only Jin and Yoongi had, and now, so had Namjoon.

I chewed on my lip, sucking lightly for comfort. "Are you okay?"

"You haven't deleted the messages," was his curt response.

I tensed. "I—I was going to, but I'm just scared that...that maybe there's a way he'll be notified."

"That's not how phones work, Faeryn. You know that."

"Yeah, but...Ryker said he could be notified if I ever blocked him—"

"Ryker"—his eyes flashed—"is a lying, abusive, narcissistic piece of shit who shouldn't be allowed to speak, Faeryn. We don't believe what he says, am I understood?"

"Gentle," Jin reprimanded him, keeping his voice low and between us. 

Namjoon's jaw clenched as his eyes locked with Jin's. "Every time," he ground out, "she texts one of us, she sees his contact number; his messages."

"I'm just scared," I tried to defend myself, my voice wobbling. "I—I'll do it, okay? But please be patient with me. I'm just scared."

His eyes flickered back to mine, and his anger faltered at the sight of my anxiety. Slowly, I watched his features tighten at the corners and his grip on the chair's armrest do the same. It surprised me that when he spoke again, his voice had lost some of its rough cadence, even if his features were still engraved with anger.

Gentler than before, he told me, "I'll be patient."

A sprinkle of relief showered upon me. "Thank you." I braved another peek at him. "I don't like when you're angry."

His lips set firmly. "I don't like what Ryker did to you."

I swallowed hard. "I don't like that either."

"I know." Breathing deeply with some difficulty, he squeezed the top of my knee. "I know."

From beside me, Jin squeezed my other knee, instructing in low tones, "Talk to us about stickers."

I sniffled. "Stickers sound silly now."

"Stickers aren't silly." He lifted my chin and angled it toward him. "Tell us about them."

With my fingers shaking around my elbow, I inhaled carefully. "Well, I...I liked the ones with dinosaurs when I was little."

A hint of a smile tugged at his lips, but it was strained, his mind on Ryker just as Namjoon's was. "What color were the dinosaur stickers?"

"Mostly green, blue, and yellow," I explained. "For the dinosaurs, and then the landscape was blue for the sky and yellow for the sun."

"Dinosaurs are often depicted as green, aren't they?"

"Sometimes," I confirmed, and when my eyes flitted back toward Namjoon to check on his anger, Jin applied pressure to my chin to keep my attention on him.

"Sometimes?" he prompted.

I managed a nod. "Well, yeah, because scientists don't really know the colors, so people choose green or brown because camouflage sounds realistic."

"Scientists don't know their colors?"

I shook my head quickly. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because skin pigmentation is usually lost during fossilization," I told him. "But...they do use melanosomes which are like...tiny structures that determine color, and they use them to learn more about what dinosaurs could've looked like."

"And what have they decided on?" he inquired. "For colors?"

I sat up a bit straighter. "Iridescent, camouflaged, and rainbow like."

"Rainbow like?"

"Yeah." I felt a bit giddy. "Isn't that cool?"

"That is very cool, Faeryn." He swiped his thumb against my cheek. "Thank you for telling me."

A small smile snuck onto my face. "Thank...thank you for letting me, and...well, do you want to know more?"

He dipped his chin. "I'm listening."

Encouraged, I rambled about which dinosaurs might be which color, and a light flush donned my cheeks as my special interest was honed in on. I forgot to be as aware of the nerve pain and Namjoon's anger, and slowly, I sunk into my seat as I continued conversing with Jin about dinosaurs.

When ten minutes passed and my name was called, I jolted slightly, put at ease with both Jin's and Namjoon's hands on my back.

The nurse who called me looked up from his tablet and showed a warm smile. "Faeryn Petal?"

I nodded quickly, standing to my feet to keep him from waiting. 

"Slowly," Namjoon said, his lips brushing my ear. "Keep your arm still."

"Okay," I stammered.

"If you'll follow me," the nurse offered, motioning us forward. "We'll start off with vitals before taking you to the room the doctor will see you in."

As we entered an area with a scale and equipment, I tried to focus on things I could count—just as Jin and Namjoon said to do.

I honed in on the potted plants as the nurse took my blood pressure and temperature.

"What brought you in today?" he asked conversationally. 

I started counting picture frames next. "Nerve pain."

"Ah, that must hurt." He squinted as he monitored my blood pressure. "I've dealt with it in the past."

I turned abruptly to view him. "You...you have?"

"Few years back," he confirmed. "Funnily enough, Ms. Honeycut helped me out with it, so you're in good hands."

I blinked a few times before wondering, "Did she...well, is it okay if I ask if she fixed the pain?"

"Sure," he agreed, loosening the device around my arm and taking it off. "Blood pressure is good. Normal." He gestured to my shoes. "You can take those off to use the scale."

Namjoon lowered himself to assist me, undoing my shoe laces as the nurse continued, "Ms. Honeycut didn't fix the issue, she just let me know what the issue was, but she referred me to a surgeon who did fix it, so she was a big help.

"You might not need surgery," he reassured. "So don't think the worst-case scenario yet. She'll be able to help you out with that."

"Okay," I whispered.

After my weight was written down, the nurse ushered us into another room.

"You can wait in here," he said. "The doctor will be in shortly."

I managed a thank you before the door closed behind him. As soon as he left, I blurted, "I don't want surgery."

"His case might not be identical to yours," Jin responded, surprising me when he lifted me and placed me on the folding table designated for patients. "We'll deal with that option if it appears."

"I don't want it to appear."

"Don't focus on the what-ifs, Faeryn. Don't catastrophize."

My breathing was short and labored.

Namjoon picked up with, "In the waiting room, which dinosaur did you say was most likely iridescent?"

Quietly, I let him know, "Velociraptor's feathers."

"Mhm." He walked to stand beside Jin; in front of me. "Which dinosaurs are they?"

I released my elbow momentarily to wipe my nose. "They have the claw on their foot; the one that taps on the floor in the scary scenes in Jurassic Park movies."

"Is that right?"

I shrugged sadly. "It's right."

"Hey." He leaned down, wiping the soft padding beneath my eye. "Stress is what worsens the pain. I know you don't want that, so you need to focus on anything besides it."

"I don't know how," I stressed.

Jin shifted, placing his palm beside me on the table and leaning forward. "The worst case scenarios."

I blinked up at him. "What?"

"The worst-case scenarios," he reiterated. "What are they? Tell me."

My eyes darted around the room as I thought. "The doctor can't fix me."

"What else?"

"Surgery."

"Is that everything?" he asked.

"I...I think so."

He dipped his chin. "If your nerve pain can't be fixed, it can be treatable. Manageable. Until now, you haven't been managing it. You've been hoping it fixes itself on its own, correct?"

I nodded weakly.

"With treatment, even if it's not completely fixable, it will help manage your symptoms and bring the pain down to a minimum. Even a worst case scenario is better than what you're dealing with now, isn't it?"

I faltered, momentarily confused as his words resonated with me. "It...it sounds like it is."

"Because it is," he concurred firmly. "And surgery; what's the reason you're afraid of it?"

"Because," I said quietly. "Surgery is scary."

"How so?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I'm just scared of it."

"Well." He kissed my temple, leaning back to view me once more. "Surgery might sound scary, but surgeries for nerve damage aren't life-threatening."

Hope tickled the back of my neck. "They're not?"

 "Is that what you were afraid of?" Namjoon exhaled a short sigh, and with a squeeze to my inner thigh, he patted it lightly. "You don't have to worry about that."

A wave of relief showed itself in the form of a quick shudder. "That's really great."

His brows tugged together. "Talk to us about what you're afraid of, Faeryn. We can't help if we don't know what's going on in."

My chest stammered, and my words left in a rush. "I don't want Ryker to be notified if I delete his number. Can—can you tell me how that's not possible if it isn't? I want to know."

He nodded, rubbing my thigh reassuringly as he explained, "The phone isn't attached to Ryker's in any way, and even if it was, he wouldn't be notified if you deleted his contact. iPhones don't have that feature."

"Are you sure?" I pressed anxiously.

"I'm positive, Faeryn. If they did, the information would be available on their website or online, and it's not." He cupped the side of my face. "Okay?"

I took in his words for a passing beat before pleading, "Can you help me? I—I'm too scared to do it by myself because my fingers might slip and text him something from my new number, even if it's just a letter or emoji." I held my breath. "Please?"

He retrieved my phone with one hand whilst keeping the other resting firmly on my thigh. "I'll take care of it."

"Can I see you do it?" I implored. "So I can make sure?"

"You can," he complied, angling the phone toward me. "I'm going to click on his contact number now, block him for the sake of it, delete his texts, then his contact."

"Okay," I breathed out.

He talked me through each option, rubbing my thigh when my breath would audibly hitch, and finally, when he deleted Ryker's contact number, my body slackened. 

"You did it," I concluded timidly. "Right?"

"I did it."

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. "And he doesn't know."

"He doesn't."

I glanced at Jin for confirmation, and he administered a nod as he watched me struggle to accept this.

"I still feel a little scared," I revealed.

"It's all right," Jin told me. "It will pass."

My features twisted. "I hope so."

"It will," he reinstated, lifting a brow when I attempted to say otherwise. I fell silent, hanging my head once more.

He tilted my chin again. "It will."

Someone knocked on the door, and Namjoon and Jin shifted to view who it was as the door opened.

A woman with curly blonde hair and hazel eyes stepped inside, and she wore a golden bee pin on her doctor's coat that said Ms. Honeycut.

Her eyes crinkled when she smiled. "Hello everyone. I heard we're having some nerve pain."

I swallowed around my building anxiety. "Hi," I managed.

"Hi," she responded, approaching a small desk. Retrieving her laptop from beneath her arm, she set it on the desk and sat on a small chair with wheels. "How is everyone today?"

"All right," Jin responded for us. 

"Good to hear," she conversed, turning the chair to face us. "Better, I'm sure, if we weren't here for nerve pain."

I nodded tentatively.

"All right, Faeryn," she began, her eyes settling where I held my elbow. "Where's this nerve pain occurring?"

"My arm." I lifted it slightly. "Here."

"When did this start?"

I flicked my fingers for a source of comfort. "It...it happened after I broke my arm a few months ago."

"Mm. All right. And no nerve pain before then, ever?"

I shook my head.

"I see." She tapped away on her computer. "Where in your arm did you break?"

I pointed near my elbow, and when she didn't receive a verbal response, she looked at where I was pointing. I realized my mistake too late to amend it and inwardly chastised myself to remember to speak when she asked another question.

"All right," she resumed. "Do you have any other symptoms besides the pain such as muscle weakness, loss of sensations, or a pins and needle feeling?"

I nodded a little, remembering just in time to verbally respond, "Yes."

"Which ones?"

"All," I responded, flushing at the extended questions. "All of them."

"And what kind of pain does it feel like? Stabbing? Aching?"

"Like..." I struggled to find the best words to explain it and ended up with, "Stabbing and aching, but from my wrist to my shoulder, and...and it feels cold sometimes and really sharp."

"Mhm." She continued typing. "Yes, it can definitely feel like that for nerve pain." She stood, grabbing her stethoscope and lifting the drum. "I'll do a quick check-up, then we'll take a look at your arm, okay? Does that sound like a plan?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes, please."

She smiled and placed the drum against my chest, instructing, "Take a deep breath for me."

She continued from my chest to my sides to my back, and after checking my ears, nose, and mouth, she concluded, "Everything looks great, although your breathing is a little labored. Do you have problems with asthma?"

I shook my head, embarrassed. "I'm...no, I'm just..." I flicked my fingers faster than before. "Anxious, a little."

"Do doctors make you anxious?" she asked lightly with her smile still prominent. 

"A little," I admitted.

"Doctors can seem scary, can't they?" she said with a chuckle. Passing by Namjoon, she requested, "Can I have your friend here move back just a little, Faeryn?"

I looked at Namjoon with wide eyes. "He...well, he's not leaving the room, right?"

"No," Namjoon said before the doctor could respond, and shifting forward, he stood in front of me. "I'm right here."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but the relief was quickly snatched away when Ms. Honeycut took Namjoon's previous spot, now positioned closer to my arm.

"All right," she began. "I'm going to take a look, but I'll be really careful."

Anxious, I turned to look at Jin and Namjoon, and immediately, they understood. Jin held his hand out from beside me, and relieved, I slowly removed my hand from my elbow. Slipping it into his, I was rewarded with a firm squeeze as his fingers interlaced with mine.

"Thank you." Ms. Honeycut lifted my elbow, keeping it aligned with my wrist. "Where in your arm does it hurt most? Your elbow?" When I nodded, she gently prodded her fingers along it. I jolted slightly, wincing in pain, and her eyes flitted to mine. "Right there, huh? And this is where you broke it."

She moved her fingers down to my wrist, and pressing around it, a pained gasp left me when her actions caused pain to shoot from my wrist all the way up to my shoulder. Jin held my hand tighter.

"Mm," she mused to herself. "We've got some nerve pain going on here, Faeryn, but don't worry. I'll get you taken care of."

Shifting back, she returned to her chair, back to tapping on her computer. "I'm going to refer you for an MRI, and once we get those results back, we'll see what our course of treatment is."

"Surgery?" I asked.

"Surgery is the last option," she responded. "We don't want to take drastic measures without trying non-surgical options first."

Relieved, I nodded. "Yeah, that's—yeah, that's better. I want to do non-surgical options first."

"Don't worry," she assured me. "We will."

Lifting a pen pad from her pocket, she drew a pen from her coat pocket and scribbled down a referral. 

"How long will the referral take to process?" Jin questioned.

"Right away," she relayed. "But the results can take up to 1-2 weeks to process."

"Is there any pain medication she can take in the interim?" 

"For now, Ibuprofen. I also recommend topical medication like cream, but until we get the MRI results back, I don't want to prescribe medication that might irritate the issue until we know exactly what nerve damage we're dealing with."

"Where can we find topical medication?" Namjoon asked. "What do you recommend?"

"I recommend—actually, better yet, let's do this." She scribbled on her notepad, ripped a sheet from it, and handed it to me. "Here's the referral and the topical medication I recommend; I also put the location of where you can find it."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

"Of course; sure thing." She repositioned her stethoscope and showed a smile. "I'll contact you once your MRI results are in, all right? Other than the nerve pain, is there anything else I can do for you?"

I turned a bright red. "I..." 

Lyric's words from months ago rang through my head. "Look, Fae. If you want seven men, then there are several doctor's appointments you need to book ASAP."

I looked between Jin and Namjoon, and my voice raised an octave as I asked, "Can I—would it be okay if I talked to the doctor alone?"

Jin regarded me closely, but he dipped his chin in agreement. "You can. Would you like us to wait outside the door or in the waiting room?"

I blanked. "I...I don't know."

"A good distance from the door," he supplemented.

"Yes," I agreed quickly, grateful for the option. "That's good."

"All right," he murmured. "We'll wait a good distance from the door."

"We're there if you need us," Namjoon told me. "Just call for us."

"I'll be okay," I said, blushing at how closely Ms. Honeycut was watching our interaction. "Promise."

"We'll be outside," he reiterated, and once they were gone, Ms. Honeycut gave them a few moments to distance themselves from the doors before lifting a questioning brow.

I squirmed slightly. "I just...I wanted to ask you about something."

"You can ask me anything." She sat back down on the stool, wheeling it closer to where I was. "That's what I'm here for."

"Well, I...okay." I held my elbow again. "My friend said I should see a doctor if I..." My blush deepened. "Have...sex with people."

Her brows leveled out with understanding. "Your friend's right. It's always best to be safe." She nodded along with her words. "Have the people you're sleeping with been tested?"

I blinked. "Tested for what?"

"There are multiple tests," she explained. "An STI test for example. Syphilis, HIV, and others." She smiled a bit at my silence. "I'm guessing you haven't asked."

"I have," I revealed, embarrassed. "We just...I just wasn't ready to go to the doctor for myself yet, and I...I thought it was okay because I didn't really have sex before them."

"Before them?"

I hesitated. "Before my current partners."

"Ah. I see." She clasped her hands. "What does "didn't really have sex" mean for you?"

I winced. "My ex had sex with me once, but I..." Shame slithered through me like it had never left. "I didn't do it for him, and he never...finished, and he wore a condom."

Her tone softened. "All right. So other than your current partners, the only person you've had sex with is your ex, and he used a condom and never finished?"

I nodded, staring resolutely at her chin instead of her eyes. 

"It would still be beneficial for you to get tested," she told me. "Did he ever experience any symptoms for what you would be tested for?"

I shook my head.

"That's good," she concurred. "But you should still get tested to be safe, especially if you're sexually active now." She cocked her head. "Do you mind if I ask how many people you're sexually active with?"

"Like...having sex with or just...foreplay?" I whispered.

"Both."

High-pitched, I revealed, "Six."

"And is this a regular occurrence? Do you know if they're sleeping with other people?"

"They're not," I revealed, very much wanting to disappear. 

"And you're not?"

"Just with them."

"Okay," she said with a nod. "And they're being regularly tested?"

I nodded. "They said so."

"Have you ever been tested?"

I hesitated. "Once."

"When?"

"After my ex and I had...failed sex." I kept trying to take deep breaths. "For all the tests you mentioned, and everything was negative."

"Very good," she praised. "So you've been having safe sex."

"I guess," I squeaked.

She chuckled. "If your current partners are being tested, and the last time after you had sex you were tested, you should be fine. I would suggest that you all take STI tests regularly, just to be safe."

I nodded, relieved. "Okay. How...how do I take them?"

"We can do it here."

"Really?"

"We can," she confirmed. "You can pee in a cup, or I can use a swab to collect some saliva. What do you think?"

"A swab," I said headily. "Please."

"I'll go grab it then." She stood. "Then we'll send it to the lab, and you'll have results for that much quicker than the MRI."

The test was quick, and once finished, she and I walked out of the room together to find Namjoon and Jin stationed a good distance from the door. I waved tentatively, wearing the new elbow brace Ms. Honeycut brought back when she retrieved the swab.

Jin and Namjoon approached, and I settled back between them, immediately easing into their body heat and the comfort they exuded.

"Good?" Jin questioned, studying my face for otherwise.

"Good," I confirmed, and with a deep, relieved breath, I rested the side of my head on his arm.

He squeezed my waist as Ms. Honeycut relayed, "Be sure to put in that referral for the MRI soon."

"We'll go today," Namjoon said decisively. "Thank you."

"Of course; sure thing," was her response. "You can go to the front desk to check out whenever you're ready." Pivoting towards me, she smiled. "Have a nice day, Faeryn." Walking past us, she stated her goodbye to Jin and Namjoon as, "Gentlemen."

They nodded in acknowledgement, and once she rounded the corner, they looked down at me.

"I'm okay," I said before they could ask. "Really. I just had...some questions."

"Questions we couldn't be there for," Namjoon returned, watching me just as closely as Jin was. "Hm?"

"Sorry," I murmured. "I...I was embarrassed."

He caressed my chin. "Why were you embarrassed?"

I shuffled in place until their hands pressed deeply into my waist to still me, and with a whimper, I revealed, "I asked about sexual health."

Namjoon loosed a low chuckle, and I noticed the hint of relief in it. "Is that all?"

I looked at him, bug-eyed, and whisper-yelled, "That's a lot!"

A smile reached Jin's lips. "Was everything okay?"

"Yeah," I stammered. "But it was embarrassing. I had to answer all these questions and tell her that I was with different people, and it was"—I whined, covering my face with my hand—"embarrassing."

Namjoon chuckled, kissing the hand I covered my face with before lowering it to kiss me. "You were very brave answering all her questions."

I peeked up at him. "Really?"

"You were," Jin agreed, threading his fingers through my hair until they reached the base of my neck and offered a squeeze. "I'm assuming you took a test."

I shuffled in place, turning a bright red as I nodded.

"When will you receive the results?" he questioned.

"Today or tomorrow," I squeaked. 

"Very good." He kissed the top of my head and gave my waist a single, firm pat. "You did very well today."

I melted. "I did?"

"You did," he confirmed, and the fondness in his gaze made my gaze turn longing. "I'm very proud of you for deciding it was time to visit the doctor for your wrist. I know it frightened you, but you still did it. You took care of yourself, and that is something to be proud of."

Namjoon hummed his approval. "Are you proud of yourself, Faeryn?"

I shivered between them. "I think so."

"You should be." He smoothed my hair away from my shoulder to press a kiss to it. "Very proud."

I pressed my face into his side as my heart beat wildly in my chest, unsure what to do with the praise showering me but needing more all the same.

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked Namjoon. "Since I held Jin's hand before."

"You can." He laced our fingers together. "Is your elbow all right to not be held?"

"Yeah," I confirmed eagerly, clinging to his hand gratefully. "The brace helps."

"Good." He gently nudged my face back into the open. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded, peering up into his face adoringly. "Ready."

He smiled, and with a final kiss to my lips, he angled my face to Jin's, allowing the latter to kiss me next.

Dizzy and kiss-drunk, I let Namjoon lead me to the exit as—once again—he and Jin kept me between them. It was a safe haven to be so close to them, especially when they flanked me; a barrier created to protect me but also to make me feel cared for. It ignited and calmed me, and I felt safe enough to put my trust in them—that even if Ryker showed up, I would be protected.

Brought back to reality, my brows tugged together with confusion as we passed the check-out desk, and in a hushed tone, I told them, "I have to pay."

"Already done," Namjoon told me.

I squeaked. "What?"

"We paid while you were speaking with the doctor," Jin revealed. "Everything's taken care of."

"But it was my doctor's visit," I protested, shrinking slightly as he arched a brow when I questioned his decision.

"And you're our woman," he confuted. Again, he told me, "We took care of it as we will always take care of it." He grasped my jaw, tilting it up to him. "Am I understood?"

Goosebumps prickled my skin. "Yes, I—I understand." Despite my dazed senses, I managed to add, "Thank you."

"There's no need to thank us, Faeryn."

I blinked up at him longingly. "Want to say it."

He took a moment before deciding, "If you want to, you can."

"Thank you," I breathed out. "Thank you for paying and taking care of me."

"So sweet," Namjoon praised, squeezing the back of my neck approvingly. "You're very welcome, Faeryn."

Entering a hazy headspace born out of what the praise and care did to me, I felt like I was floating as they led me to the car.

In the backseat as Namjoon buckled me, I hummed to myself, buzzing in my seat.

"Someone's nice and happy, hm?" Namjoon's knuckles nudged my cheek. "Such a sweet girl."

His words only heightened my current headspace, and I nuzzled into his hand, content and giddy.

"Oh, there she is." He kissed my cheek whilst tightening my seatbelt. "Feeling safe, isn't she? Nice and taken care of?"

"Yeah," I said eagerly, nodding quickly and pushing my lips out for a kiss. "I am."

He chuckled into our kiss, making me keen from the vibrations. "I know you are."

Jin started the car and turned the radio on low to Indie Folk, and with the added vibrations the bass and low rumble of the car's engine caused, I bounced lightly in my seat—barely a motion, but just enough to be enjoyable. To regulate in the safety bubble I was floating in.

"Jin," I managed. "Thank—thank you for the music."

He looked at me through the rearview mirror, and I caught the smile in his eyes. "Are you dancing, Faeryn?"

I looked down at my subtle bouncing, and looking back at him, I nodded quickly. "Yeah."

Namjoon chuckled. "She slipped."

"No," I refuted, confused. "I didn't slip." I patted my seat. "I'm sitting."

He hid a smile. "I know you're sitting, baby. I know."

My blush furthered my dizziness, and I smiled bashfully. "I...I like that name."

"Hm? You like when I call you baby?"

"Yeah, I'm—yeah, because I'm your baby, right?"

His smile fought through, and he kissed my forehead repeatedly. "You are."

My eyes fluttered with delight. "Just like Jungkook?"

"Mm. You're both very special to me."

I beamed. "Jin, I'm...did you hear that?"

I heard the smile in Jin's response. "I did hear that, Faeryn."

I squirmed, wondering after a moment, "Why did you think I slipped?"

"You slipped up here." Namjoon gently caressed my temples. "You were feeling too nice, hm? Now you feel like you're floating."

My eyes widened a bit. "How did you know I'm floating?"

"It can happen during a slip," he explained fondly. "And you slipped."

"Slipped...where?" I whispered.

"Into a certain headspace; one that makes you feel nice."

"Yeah, I—I feel nice."

"Mhm."

I clutched my seatbelt before changing my mind and tentatively reaching for Namjoon's hand. 

"What do you say, Faeryn?" he prompted with a light, fond tease to his tone. "Hm? Tell me."

"Please?" I tried. "Hold your hand?"

"Mm. There you go." He collected my hand in his, pushing our fingers to intertwine. "Good job, Faeryn."

I shivered, smiling shyly as I returned to my quiet humming, now adding a squeeze to Namjoon's hand periodically. 

After two songs, my brows tugged together and I decided, "I miss everyone."

"We're almost there," Jin revealed. "A few more minutes."

"Okay." I looked out the window. "Almost there." Turning to Namjoon with my head spinning, I pleaded, "Hug, please?"

"Oh, poor thing." He leaned forward, chuckling as he put his arm around my waist and tugged my face to his chest. "What is it?"

"Miss everyone," I repeated, nibbling on his shirt. "Need...need pressure."

"Her chest," Jin explained for me. "Apply pressure to her chest."

Namjoon angled my body to allow my chest to press against his, and the pressure made my breath hitch with relief, and content, I took a deep breath.

"Thank you," I said headily. "Feels better."

"Good." He rubbed my back soothingly. "Just relax, hm? We're almost there, and you'll see everyone soon."

"Can I take a nap?" I wondered. "With...I want everyone to take a nap with me, and we can cuddle—like a sleepover." I swallowed when my breath hitched again. "I never had a sleepover, but I want one, so can we have one?" I tugged his shirt hopefully. "Want one, please."

"We'll have one." He patted my back lightly. Reassuringly. "Anything you want."

"Yes, please," I said, a flutter of excitement flickering within me. "A sleepover, and it'll be a safe one—really safe—and we can have tea and snacks, and maybe even watch TV." I clutched Namjoon's shirt and kissed his shoulder repeatedly. "Jungkook can make—he can make a blanket fort. He said he makes them sometimes. Okay? If he wants to, and—and I can help if he wants me to because I want to help."

My kisses to Namjoon's shoulder turned languid. "I like Jungkook, and I like everybody. You're my best friends—my boyfriends—and I like you so much." I nuzzled against him, placing my face comfortably in the crook of his neck and kissing the area sloppily. "Miss them."

"We're almost there," he promised as I caught Jin's fond smile—softer than usual—from the rearview mirror. "And Jungkook would love to make a blanket fort with you. He likes you very much, too; we all do."

I beamed sleepily. "That's really great."

He chuckled. "Really great."

I nodded rapidly, continuing to kiss his neck until exhaustion caused me to become slack in his arms. "Sleepy," I lisped.

He passed his hand through my hair. "You can sleep, baby. We've got you."

"But what...what about the sleepover?"

"We can have one tonight," he promised. "Watch some of your favorite movies before bed in the blanket fort you and Jungkook will make."

I smiled happily before sleep caused it to fade. "Yeah, I...I want that."

"I know," he murmured. "It sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

I managed another nod before I fell asleep, safe and content in Namjoon's arms.

Notes:

a happier chapter to make up for the last one😁😅 Faeryn is so cute AND JUST WANT TO EAT HER RIGHT UP!!!! my baby🥹

Chapter 26: Feel me, Touch me

Summary:

Faeryn enjoys her first sleepover with her seven men, and a few days into their beach vacation, Namjoon and Jin take good care of her in the latter's bed.

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I woke up from my nap on the living room couch, rested but still slightly drowsy. Lifting my face, I smacked my lips together tiredly as I looked around.

Hoseok and Jimin were on the couch with me, a deck of cards between them and a few in their hands.

With a quiet whimper at the thought of their warmth, I inched toward them, using one hand to guide me while the other wiped my eyes.

"Look who's awake," Jimin crooned, leaning forward to collect me into his arms. "Our sleepy girl."

Preening, I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face within it.

"Oh, there you are." He kissed the top of my head as he wrapped his arms around me and applied firm pressure. "My sweet girl. Did you have a nice nap?" I nodded. "Yeah? Did that make you feel nice?"

With another nod, I sighed tremulously and kissed his neck.

"Good girl," he murmured. "Oh, my sweet, sweet girl." He kissed my face and gently patted my back as he eased me onto his lap. "Namjoon told us all about our sleepover tonight."

I squirmed contentedly at the reminder, and I nodded happily.

He chuckled fondly. "Jungkook's very excited to build a fort with you." He kissed beneath my ear. "We'll have the sleepover tonight, but now that you're awake, you can go get your MRI."

I clung to him tightly.

"Oh, shh, it's okay, honey." He squeezed my waist reassuringly. "It'll be quick."

I shook my head sadly.

"It's okay; very quick," he reinstated gently. "But you have to go, hm? It's to help you feel better."

I deflated but nodded, sagging in his arms and lifting my hands to curl near where my face now rested on his chest. I kissed it as I peeked over at Hoseok, blushing when I saw his handsome, reassuring smile.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said softly. "Sleepy girl."

My smile slipped onto my face, shy and drowsy. "Hobi."

His smile turned fond. "That's me."

"Missed you," I told him, my words slightly lisped after hours of sleep. "Hug?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He stood, and I squeaked in surprise when he lifted me into his arms. "A big hug."

I giggled as he squeezed me tightly, swinging me lightly as my legs dangled until he swept me into a bridal position.

Kissing my forehead, he smiled down at me. "You look like you had a nice nap."

I nodded as I looped my arms around his neck. "Best nap."

He kissed my nose next. "Good."

I sighed contentedly, resting my cheek on his shoulder. "I had...I had a dream about iridescent feathers, but...instead of a velociraptor having them, a T-rex had them." I giggled. "Isn't that funny?"

He chuckled. "Very funny."

I beamed, lifting my face slightly to kiss his chin. "Yeah." Shifting to look over at Jimin, I smiled brightly. "Funny?"

"Mm, very funny," he confirmed with a fond, amused smile. "You have some funny dreams, hm, honey?"

I grinned. "Yeah."

"Look who's awake," Namjoon announced himself, ruffling Jungkook's hair as they entered the room.

Jungkook was tucked deeply into Namjoon's side as he munched on a bag of seaweed chips, but he lit up when he saw I was awake. Waving, he greeted, "Hi."

I waved back excitedly. "We're going to make a blanket fort."

"I know." He beamed. "I was thinking about how we could make one in here while you were sleeping, and I have a lot of good ideas. Namjoon said I can tell you about them after you go get an MRI."

I sighed at the mention of the MRI, and Jimin chuckled, letting Namjoon and Jungkook know, "She doesn't like the idea of getting an MRI."

"No?" Namjoon prompted, a hint of teasing lacing his tone. "You don't want to be put into a machine, Faeryn? It doesn't sound like fun?"

My lips turned downward, and Jimin tutted, reprimanding Namjoon lightly, "Don't tease the poor thing."

Jungkook's lip turned out, a mirror to mine, and he looked up at Namjoon almost indignantly. "Don't tease her, hyung. She's tired, and nobody likes having an MRI taken. It's not fun."

"Do you speak for everyone in the world, bub?" Namjoon questioned, grasping his face and pressing a kiss to his nose. "Do you know what everyone deems as fun?"

Jungkook sighed. "Hyung."

Namjoon chuckled, this time stealing a kiss from his lips. "Hyung is sorry, hm? Very sorry."

Jungkook, now with a slight blush from Namjoon's kiss, turned to me. "He says he's sorry."

I giggled tiredly. "Thank you, Jungkook."

He shuffled in place, proud of himself. "You're welcome."

Namjoon patted Jungkook's lower back and eased him forward. "Go give her a kiss; I'll tell Jin we're ready to go."

Jungkook made it to Hoseok and I quickly, but before he kissed me, he wondered, "Can I come?"

"Not for this, bub, no," was Namjoon's response as he pivoted toward the stairs. "We'll be in and out, and we're not allowed into the screening area as it is."

"I can still go," Jungkook countered. "I'm good at waiting in waiting rooms."

Namjoon looked over his shoulder with a hint of a smile. "Is that right?"

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah." He looked up at me. "Right, Faeryn?"

I nodded eagerly. "Right."

Together, we looked at Namjoon, and it was quick—how he conceded. With a relenting chuckle, he continued walking up the stairs. "Get your shoes on—both of you."

Jungkook and I shared a grin, and Hoseok gently placed me down so I could follow Jungkook to the door where our shoes were.

꧁꧂

The longest part of the MRI was sitting in the waiting room, but after it was done, Jin, Namjoon, and Jungkook stood in unison when I re-entered the waiting room.

They'd already paid the fee again, and from Jin's arched brow when he told me, I knew not to protest. Instead, I hugged him and promised myself to buy something to counter his payments today.

At the beach house, we had a nice dinner, and afterward, Jungkook and I got to work setting up a blanket fort. Our continual giggles were contagious, and the others chuckled whilst sipping their drinks and lounging on the couches, watching us and chatting over a movie playing on low.

We used multiple blankets and sheets and pillows, and once it was done, we saved the fluffy blankets and pillows for the inside.

Peaking my head out with a giddy grin, I looked around until I spotted where Taehyung and Jimin were playing a game on their Nintendo Switches. Jimin was winning if Taehyung's frustrated groans were anything to go by.

"Taehyung," I called happily. "I made a special spot for my crochet buddy."

His fingers faltered on his Switch's controllers, and Jimin laughed as he won the round because of it.

"Sorry," I offered apologetically, smiling sheepishly.

"Don't worry!" Taehyung gently tossed his Switch onto the pillow beside him. With a grin, he left it behind for me. "I'm horrible at that game."

"He is," Jimin confirmed laughingly. "You did him a favor by putting him out of his misery."

"Oh," I chirped. "I helped?"

Taehyung took my offered hand once he reached me, and he nodded good-naturedly, agreeing, "You saved me."

I beamed, and with a quick kiss on his cheek, I tugged him into the blanket fort. Jungkook fluffed up the pillows as we entered, and when he saw Taehyung, he gestured to his appointed area.

"For you, hyung," he revealed. "Faeryn set it all up."

Taehyung gaped at the set-up; both of our crochet kits were there, our loop earplugs, and his favorite licorice.

"Faeryn," he breathed out. "This is so cute."

"You like it?" I asked hopefully.

"I love it!" he exclaimed, making me squeal with laughter when he tugged me into his arms for a tight hug. "This is the best blanket fort I've ever seen, and I'm a part of this one."

I giggled, mewling contentedly when he pulled back to kiss me.

"Thank you," he said, his tone genuine and kind. "I love it." He brought me to him for another hug. "Best crochet buddy."

"Best!" I exclaimed, squeezing him as tightly as I could.

"Look," Jungkook said, pointing to another area positioned near his. "I made it for Joon."

Taehyung looked over, and he grinned. "Nice."

Jungkook sat up straighter, proud of himself. "Yeah. And do you see the pillows? They're his favorite color, and I brought down the book we've been reading."

"Good idea," Taehyung praised. "He'll like it."

"He likes everything you do," I added, making him blush. "He'll really like it."

Encouraged, Jungkook thanked us breathily before crawling out of the blanket fort in search of Namjoon.

Everyone else's spots were set up, and Jungkook and I received an abundance of praise from everyone when they entered the blanket fort.

We were to resituate the TV from one of the rooms in the blanket fort near the edge, and we sat in our spots as a movie we all agreed on played.

Gnawing quietly on my chewing tube, I looked around with a pleased, content smile. Everyone was here, and even if the doctor's appointment was nerve-wracking, it passed—just as Jin said it would.

Leaning closer to Taehyung, I whispered, "We're having a sleepover."

He smiled down at me brightly. "A really nice sleepover."

I beamed and curled closer to his side, preening when he passed his hand through my hair for a gentle massage.

"I'm...I'm trying to stay awake," I told him quietly, so wouldn't disturb the movie. "But I think I'm going to fall asleep."

"You can," he reassured me. "It's okay; that's what sleepovers are for."

I smiled gratefully, and nodding my agreement, I peaked over at the others. Yoongi had even opted to join us, and I made sure his area was closet to the exit of the blanket fort in case he wanted to take a break in his room. So far, he'd remained and occasionally ate from his bowl of popcorn.

He was quiet as he usually was, but there was a light tan to his features from the sun, and his hair had a light wave to it thanks to the ocean. In addition, he looked calm. Peaceful. And I wondered if it was because he had something to look forward to—the ocean, just as my grandmother had looked forward to it.

He caught my eye, and carefully, before our eyes could flicker away, I signed, "The ocean is nice."

He understood, and after a moment, he signed simply in return, "Yes."

Ready to fall asleep on Taehyung, I began to bury my face in his arm when Yoongi signed again, and looking up, I caught his hands moving subtly to ask, "Doctor; good?"

With a small smile, I signed, "Yes. Okay."

"The MRI," he finger signed. "Okay?"

"Yes," I confirmed via sign. "Okay. Results in 2 weeks."

He took a moment before signing, "I don't understand."

"Two weeks," I finger signed. "Results."

He nodded, and his attention shifted to my wrist questioningly.

"It's okay," I signed, and pointing to my new elbow brace, I showed a thumbs-up. He smiled slightly at that, and easing back into his pillows, he signed, "Good."

I smiled shyly, and with another nod, I eased closer to Taehyung.

"Sleep," Yoongi signed. "Tired. You."

"See you tomorrow," I signed, and once he wordlessly confirmed, I fell asleep with the memory of his smile.

꧁꧂

The next night after dinner and a fun, restful day on the beach, Jin took me to his room. Giddy, I followed after him, surprised to see Namjoon sitting on his bed. I peeked over at him as I clung to Jin's hand, allowing the latter to lift me and place me beside Namjoon.

They sat on either side of me until there was no space between us, their thick thighs pressed firmly against mine, and I shivered as I looked from Jin to Namjoon.

"What going on?" I managed, dizzy as their heat exuded all around me.

"We wanted to check in with you." Namjoon squeezed my inner thigh. "See how you feel."

I nodded a bit, my breath hitching when Jin squeezed my other thigh. "I'm okay."

Jin's chest vibrated his approval. "That's very good, Faeryn."

"Yeah, it's...yeah." I swallowed roughly. "I feel better now that I...you know, don't have to see texts from Ryker, and I like being at the beach with you."

"Good," Namjoon commended. "That's what we wanted, for you to relax and enjoy some time away."

"Thank you," I breathed out. "For taking me on a vacation. It's so nice."

Jin rubbed circles against my inner thigh. "Thank you for letting us."

"Thank you," I said headily in return.

"Mm." Jin kissed where my giddy smile greeted my lips, right at the corner. "It was our pleasure."

I mewled, turning to catch his lips fully in mine. He showed his approval by deepening the kiss and shifting his hand to hold my waist. Melting into him, I sighed appreciatively when Namjoon kissed my cheek and began trailing kisses along my face and neck.

I held onto either one of their thighs for stability, shuddering when I felt them tense beneath my hands; sturdy, thick, and strong.

"We brought you in here," Jin said, his lips brushing against my neck as he spoke, "for the night."

"The night?" I managed to gasp out, panting from their kisses and touch.

"For the night," he confirmed firmly. "I want you to stay with us tonight. In my bed, in my sheets, and we can do whatever you'd like. Watch TV, talk, read a book, play games—anything you'd like, Faeryn, we'll do."

I tentatively traced his jawline while Namjoon kissed mine, and I whimpered when Jin angled his face to kiss my hand.

"Anything," I breathed out. "I just want to do anything with you and Namjoon. Can we just kiss for a little while? I like kissing you both."

"Mm." Namjoon smiled handsomely. "We like kissing you."

"And I like being close to you like this," I made sure they knew. "Comfy and safe."

"Comfy and safe." He kissed me more tenderly than he usually did. "Mhm."

I squirmed, gasping when he and Jin kissed my lips in unison, taking my pants and whimpers with them.

I tilted my head back, giving them access to my neck, and while Jin took the offer, Namjoon's lips remained firmly planted on mine.

"It feels good," I said breathily.

"I know, hm? I know." Namjoon patted my thigh, making me buck into his touch. "Shh, Faeryn. We're just kissing."

"Sorry," I offered, a light whine. "It felt good."

"I know," he chuckled, caressing my waist as he continued our kiss. "But you can relax, can't you?"

I whined in response, squirming in an attempt to be closer to them than I already was, but Namjoon put a stop to that quickly with a firm grip on my thigh.

"Relax," he warned lightly.

"Why can't we do more than kiss?" I asked breathlessly, burning red. "We...we've never done anything, and Namjoon doesn't think I'm ready for...you know. I don't understand."

"You had a long day," Jin explained, reaching up to cup the back of my neck and apply firm pressure. "We want you to relax."

"I relaxed with Hoseok," I countered, averting my gaze as I blushed. "When he made me come, and he let me suck him off, too."

"Is that right?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "And he let me spit out his cum on a towel so I wouldn't get overwhelmed because I don't like the taste, so he knows how to make me relax." Switching tactics, I played with the fabric of my cami. "I think I want to stay in Hoseok's room tonight."

Namjoon huffed out a strained laugh. "Uh-huh." Gripping my thigh and pulling it apart, Jin did the same with the other. "Is that what you do now, Faeryn? You don't get your way with us and go to another until one of us folds?"

"Hoseok's nice to me," I continued. "So I'm going to go with Hoseok now."

I tried to leave the bed, but their unyielding hold on my thighs kept me between them.

"Where do you think you're going?" Namjoon nipped the skin beneath my ear. "We brought you here for the night, Faeryn. You're staying with us."

"But you're not letting me relax," I returned with a downturned expression. "So I want Hobi because he takes really good care of me."

"She wants Hobi," Namjoon drawled.

"She can't have him," Jin returned drily. "Not tonight."

"I need him," I decided.

"You need to listen," Namjoon negated.

"To Hoseok," I agreed.

"Are you being smart with Namjoon?" Jin asked, his intense gaze making me shiver.

"Yes," I managed. "I'm—because I'm tired of waiting for when he thinks I'm ready to have sex with him. I'm ready, and I want it."

"He will be rough with you," Jin responded momentarily. "And right now, you don't need rough; you need to relax."

"He can be soft," I countered. "He's soft with Jungkook."

"I can," Namjoon confirmed with a pat on my waist. "But when we have sex for the first time, it will be us alone. I don't want anyone else present, Faeryn, and Jin wants the same."

"Is it...uncomfortable for you?" I asked in a whisper, my eyes wide. "For me to ask?"

He chuckled lightly. "No, baby. You can ask whatever you'd like. After we take our time with you on our own time, I'm sure we can arrange time with all three of us."

Jin hummed his agreement.

I blushed intensely. "Okay. Sex just by ourselves first." When they nodded, I tried to further understand. "Are there other things we can do together before we have sex? Like foreplay and...stuff."

"And stuff," he repeated, amused. "And what stuff are you interested in?"

"I don't know," I stammered. "I'm just asking."

"Really," he drawled.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah."

"And what will you do when we tell you to choose something?"

I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Please choose for me?"

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, and he loosed a chuckle.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Looking at me through your lashes, hm? You figured out that little trick all by yourself?"

A giddy smile tugged at my lips. "Jungkook helped a little."

"Of course he did."

"But Jimin said he would do anything if I looked at him like that," I revealed somewhat shyly. "And...and I tried it out on you at the fancy restaurant we went to a few days ago for the bunny keychain, and it worked."

"Is that what that was? Faeryn." He clicked his tongue in faux disappointment. "How very manipulative of you."

"I'm not," I protested, gripping his arm tightly when his fingers strummed against the top of my knuckles lightly. "I just wanted to try it; Jungkook said to."

"Oh, is that right? You're blaming Jungkook now?"

"No," I refuted quickly, wide-eyed. "I'm just—I was just saying."

"Maybe you should go to Hoseok," he mused. "Did he say he had a preference for manipulators?"

I gaped at him, then paused, unsure. "Are...are you teasing me? I...I don't want to be a manipulator, so please, if I am, tell me and I'll stop, I promise."

"Faeryn, baby, shh." He cupped the side of my head and brought it to rest on his chest, chuckling lowly. "I know. I'm just teasing you."

I released a breath, relieved, and swatted his arm lightly. "Don't be mean."

Jin chuckled deeply. "I'm sure he would stop if you didn't react so well to it."

"What?" I asked, confused, but then I heard how breathless I was and how my chest was falling and rising rapidly.

"It riles you up," Jin relayed, tracking my chest's movements. "Excites you." He arched a brow. "Doesn't it, Faeryn?"

"I don't know," I whispered, blushing furiously. "I want to go to Hoseok now."

"Why?" Namjoon taunted lightly. "So he can call you pretty names and coddle you?"

I nodded somewhat dumbly.

Namjoon cooed at me, cupping my cheek and giving me a quick kiss that left me dizzy and wanting.

"Please," I panted.

"Please what?" he prompted. "You should know by now to use your words properly, hm?"

My lips parted to speak but only closed again from embarrassment, and instead, a whine slipped past my lips.

"Oh, poor baby." He pinched my cheek. "You don't know what to do with yourself, squirming between Jin and me, hm?"

I nodded quickly.

"Do you like it when I speak like this?" he questioned, watching me closely with a hint of amusement. "You're flushed."

My fingers ghosted my cheeks, and I chewed on my lips for solace.

"I think you do," he continued. "What do you think, Jin? Do you think she enjoys it?"

"I think," Jin returned, "she should use her words and speak when spoken to."

I squeaked, jolting slightly before rushing out, "I—I like it."

"Oh, do you?" Namjoon continued taunting me. Torturing me. "A little humiliation is okay?"

"I..." I continued squirming, no longer able to make any semblance of eye contact with them.

"Words, Faeryn," Jin warned lightly, and with a shudder filled with need, I blurted, "I like it, but only from you. Just—just you."

"It's only okay in a sex setting?" Namjoon prompted, angling my face to catch my expression. "A safe sexual setting?"

"With you," I whispered. "Because you'll stop if I say yellow and red, right?"

"Of course I will," he confirmed, his voice softening at my questions. "Of course I will, Faeryn."

"I like it, then," I told them. "Because you mix it with nice things."

"Nice things?" His lips tugged knowingly. "Such as?"

I whined, struggling not to succumb to the blush spreading from my neck to my cheeks. "You know."

"I don't think I do, Faeryn, but it would be so helpful if you used your words and told me."

Biting my lip relentlessly, I garnered my bravery and managed. "You called me baby."

"Mhm."

"And it...it makes me feel..." I looked down at my stomach, and for lack of a better word, I concluded, "Mushy."

He chuckled. "Mushy?"

I hung my head, embarrassed. "Mushy," I whispered.

"Oh, shh, it's okay." He squeezed my thigh as Jin squeezed the base of my neck. "You're just too busy thinking about how needy you are right now to come up with a better word, hm? I know it must be hard."

I blinked rapidly, and my lips parted; a silent plea to be kissed.

"We won't tell you to use your words again," Jin rumbled.

"Kiss," I gasped out. "Please kiss me."

Jin grasped my jaw and kissed me hard, immediately pushing his tongue into my mouth to glide over mine. He sucked on it lightly, paying it special attention before returning to my lips. Whimpering, I let him take control, needing nothing more at that moment than to be taken care of by them.

As they spread my thighs against, Namjoon cupped between them and allowed me to grind, chuckling shortly after, "Desperate."

I could only nod quickly, hoping it would earn me more of his and Jin's touch, and much to my delight, Jin rewarded me by cupping my breast while we kissed, applying firm pressure while his thumb flicked over my covered nipple every so often to evoke a whimper and needy grind on Namjoon's palm.

"Closer," I begged when Jin leaned back enough to let me catch my breath. "Please."

"How much closer can we be?" Namjoon mused. "You have us right here with you, Faeryn."

"But I want you closer," I pleaded. "I want to be in the middle, like when I slept with you and Jungkook, please, Namjoon, please."

With a low chuckle, he removed his hand, slapping my thigh lightly when I whined at the loss. When my lips turned down in a sad little pout, he kissed my bottom lip before taking it between his teeth.

"Be patient," he instructed, and releasing my lip, he turned my face toward Jin to allow the latter to kiss my swollen lips.

"Closer," I tried again, pleading my case with dewy eyes and trembling lips. 

When Namjoon issued a sharp slap to my clit, my eyes filled with desperation, and I bucked my hips for more.

"Poor thing," he sympathized. "She doesn't know what to do with herself. Just needs to be touched."

I nodded eagerly. 

Taking pity on me, he chuckled softly and eased me toward him. "Jin, the blankets."

Jin understood, and as they both pulled them back from their sides of the bed, Namjoon surprised me as he lifted me, placed me beneath them, and tugged me forward, all three of us lying on our sides, with me facing Namjoon and my back to Jin. I was still too far for my liking, and I whined, struggling to get to him as Jin moved me back toward him, still somehow keeping a distance between us, too.

I realized they were teasing me, keeping me close but not close enough, and I breathed heavily, panting as I struggled against them to make it to one of them, but their grip was steady and strong; I couldn't move.

Finally, I broke, and tears welled in my eyes. "I need you," I said, my voice breaking with desperation. "Please?"

"Are we being too mean?" Namjoon questioned, amused whilst watching me closely for any signs of true dismay. "Hm?"

"Please," I begged, struggling again to get closer to them. "I can't do it."

"And did you ask for help?"

I paused before quickly asking, "Please help me?"

Jin's hands moved from my waist to my hip. "With?"

"Putting me between you," I vocalized hopefully.

"You are between us."

"No," I protested as their chuckles filled the room and made me spin. "I want to be closer. You said to ask, and I am, so please help me get closer."

When my voice broke again, Namjoon relented. "Come here, baby. C'mere."

Loosening his hold on me, he pulled me close to him as Jin moved closer to me from behind. When I was sandwiched between them, fully enveloped in their body heat, my stomach swooped with relief and arousal, only heightening the current dizziness I was experiencing.

"Thank you, thank you," I rushed to say, clinging to Namjoon's arm as I pushed back into Jin. "So nice."

"So nice?" Namjoon pinched my nipple, making me whine and arch my back. "Is this close enough for you?"

I squirmed when he tugged my shirt up just above my belly button, then back down again.

"I can get closer?" I asked, confused, looking down at how there was no space between the three of us. "I don't think so."

"Mm. That's why I'm here to do the thinking, Faeryn, hm?"

I shivered, gasping when he tugged my shirt over my chest to display my breasts. He took in the sight for a moment, and with a sharp inhale, he pulled my shirt over my head. I barely had time to process this when Jin removed my shorts, and when they both tugged my panties off, I writhed between them as the cold air from the ceiling fan hit my bare body.

Goosebumps rose along my skin, only growing when Jin and Namjoon let their hands discover my body, and my breaths came in sharp gasps as my body struggled to keep up with the sensations it was receiving.

Everything was cold, and I needed more; the chilly feeling of the fan, the surprise and shock to Jin and Namjoon's hands, also cold from the fan—I needed more.

I shifted my hips forward desperately, moaning when my clit skimmed the fabric of Namjoon's pants. It was slightly rough, and although I struggled at first from the firm grip of their hands, I managed to lift my hips to grind directly on Namjoon's zipper.

Another moan left me at the cold, rough feeling, and Namjoon laughed, surprised.

"Does that feel good, Faeryn? The zipper of my pants?" He thrust his hips forward lightly, just enough to assist my movements, and my body stammered, unsure how to handle the jolt of pleasure that shot through it. "What does it feel like?"

"Cold," I managed, nearly frantic when Jin pushed the zipper of his pants against my ass. "I like it."

"Cold," Namjoon mused. "Just like the lube, hm?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, I like it."

"Oh, I'm sure the fan feels nice and cold then, doesn't it?"

I whimpered, struggling to keep up with our conversation and my search for pleasure. When Jin and Namjoon thrust simultaneously, jostling me between them, I ground my hips back and forth, frantically trying to feel the both of them.

Jin surprised me again when he slapped my ass, and bringing his mouth near my ear, he warned, "He asked you a question."

I blanked, stammering incoherently as I tried to remember what I was asked.

Namjoon sighed his disappointment. "She's too focused on making herself feel nice to remember. It's unfortunate," he added, "that she also hasn't remembered we decide if she can come."

Jin hummed lowly. "It is unfortunate."

Slightly panicked, I stammered, "What? Please, you have to let me."

"We don't have to do anything," Namjoon drawled. "We're being so nice already, letting you grind. Have you thought that you don't deserve to come tonight?"

"What?" I faltered, unsure. "But why?"

"You haven't been polite." Jin's low voice near my ears sent shivers coursing through me rapidly. "You've ignored our questions several times."

"I tried to be," I countered, wide-eyed.

"Not hard enough," was Namjoon's decisive response.

I paused, my breath stammering out of me, and desperately, I pleaded, "I'll do anything, I promise. Just please let me come. I'm sorry, really, I'll listen better next time, but it just felt so good that I didn't want to talk, so please let me come, please."

My tears of absolute need began to fall, capturing the image of my desperation. Nearly a sob, I begged, "Please."

"Okay," Namjoon soothed. "It's okay. We're right here."

"You can," Jin voiced his permission, lowering his hand back down to my waist for a reassuring squeeze. "You can let go, Faeryn. You're allowed to."

I hiccupped hopefully, my hips stammering. "I am?"

"Poor thing," Namjoon sympathized, kissing my bruised lips. "We riled you up a little too much, huh?"

"No, I'm green," I insisted tearfully. "I am."

"I know," he chuckled. "I know, baby." He patted my ass lightly. "Are you going to come, or are these crocodile tears?"

"They're not," I protested hotly. "I want to kiss you and Jin first."

"You have to kiss us?" he asked, amused. 

"Jin," I begged, and immediately, Jin turned my face toward him and gave me what I asked for.

Breathless from his lips, I didn't have time to breathe when Namjoon kissed me next, and swiveling my hips between them, I gasped out, "Please, please, I'm going to—"

"Go ahead," Jin instructed firmly as Namjoon kissed my lips, chuckling against them. "Show us how good it feels."

"Come on, Faeryn." Namjoon nipped my bottom lip, a light taunt. "Show us."

When they both thrust against me from either side again, I cried out as I came, shuddering and shaking as it hit me hard.

"There you go," Namjoon praised, holding my hips and working them against his growing length. "Doesn't that feel nice?"

My response was lost in my broken moans and gasps, and I fell apart between them as my orgasm left me shaking.

When I languidly tried to reach for Namjoon's dick after feeling it harden when I ground against it, he chuckled and caught my wrist.

"Relax," he told me as he brushed my hair out of my face. "Not tonight."

"You and Jin," I protested tiredly, my words leaving me in a lisp. "You have to feel good, too."

"Watching you feel good is all we need."

I blushed, and when I tried to protest, Jin squeezed my hip in warning.

"Listen to Namjoon," he rasped.

Shivering from the cold and his authoritative tone, I tried to burrow myself in Namjoon for warmth. He laughed and pushed me further into Jin, using the position to press his chest firmly into mine.

"We'll have to change," he mused. "You made such a mess."

I whined, embarrassed, but when I tried to cover my face, he just laughed and kissed my hands. Lowering them, he kissed my nose and told me, "You can make a mess on me whenever you'd like, Faeryn. I don't mind."

My blush grew, and I batted his chest indignantly.

Chuckling, he lowered his hands between my thighs, making me gasp when his fingers prodded along my entrance.

"Dripping," he commented. "Aching to be filled up, poor thing."

I bucked my hips in response.

Jin disapproved. "Don't rile her up."

"Oh, am I riling her up?" Namjoon clicked his tongue. "Silly me, huh, Faeryn?"

I huffed, squirming as I continued attempting to burrow myself within him. It was only when Jin untangled himself from me that I turned, releasing a sound of protest.

"You need to be cleaned up," he told my questioning look. "I'll get a washcloth while you stay with Namjoon, yes?"

"Yes," I remembered to respond, sighing contentedly when he approved, "Very good, Faeryn."

When he returned with the washcloth, I pushed into the washcloth greedily, whimpering at the thought of being so close to Jin touching me between my thighs.

Namjoon patted my thigh. "Stay still for Jin. Let him clean you up."

"More?" I asked hopefully. "Please?"

His tongue clicked the roof of his mouth. "No more."

Keeping my thighs stabilized, he eased them open further to allow Jin better access to clean me up. The action made me frantic, but when I tried to chase the washcloth, Namjoon slapped my thigh and put me to a halt.

"Greedy," he commented, talking over my head to Jin. "Isn't she?"

Jin made a low noise in response, his eyes fixated between my thighs as he cleaned me up. "Very."

I whimpered all throughout being cleaned, and once Jin was done cleaning and dressing me, Namjoon tugged me into his arms beneath the blankets, soothing my desperate squirms with a light pat to my ass.

"Relax," he soothed, kissing my forehead. "We're done for tonight."

"But I feel so—"

"Needy?" He chuckled when I whined, embarrassed. "I'm sure you do. But we're done for the night."

I managed to escape his hold and clamber over to where Jin had returned from putting the washcloth in the bathroom.

"Jin," I whispered, and once he was close enough, I lifted my arms.

He didn't lift me, but he pushed himself forward onto the bed, pushing me back with him. I squeaked my surprise but quickly settled with the pressure his body applied to mine. It began to calm the need for a round two, and eventually, I entered a blissful state—one that allowed Jin to reposition me between him and Namjoon.

Sandwiched between them, I curled up with my face in Jin's chest and my back to Namjoon's.

"There she is," Namjoon murmured. "Our pretty girl."

Melting, I pushed back into him in response and nuzzled closer to Jin simultaneously. Warm, comforted, and safe, I buzzed happily, content.

A little while later, I agreed when Namjoon asked if I was up to watching TV before bed, and the three of us watched a sitcom I wasn't familiar with. When they asked if I wanted to change it, I shook my head, gnawing on my shirtsleeve as I watched the scenes play out. Interested, I watched on, giggling when the show earned a laugh from Jin and Namjoon. That was my favorite part.

And when I fell asleep, I felt as safe in my dreams as I felt awake for the first time in a long time. 

Notes:

I don't know about you, but if Namjoon and Jin teased me like that, I would need to make funeral arrangements. I would simply not survive 😀😩

Chapter 27: Missing Them

Summary:

The beach trip comes to an end with a lovely tea party, and back home, Faeryn is reunited with Lyric who takes her out for some fun. It ends up in a serious conversation that turns into a girl's night with Lyric's enemy/roommate Cheverie. Faeryn desperately tries to mend any tension while keeping in contact with her seven men for support.

Notes:

the beginning gif is how I imagine Faeryn and Lyric's dynamic when Lyric teases her😭

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

On the last day of our vacation, they surprised me with a tea party. I was over the moon, clapping my hands repeatedly with glee as I took in the beautiful set-up. 

Much to my delight, they purchased a strawberry kettle to match my strawberry cup, and I completely lost control of myself as I giggled happily and jumped up and down.

They let me be in charge of it, running around the kitchen and serving everyone tea and pastries. They looked up different pastry recipes prior and printed them out, surprising me with a hand-made cookbook labeled 'For Faeryn; our tea-party princess'. 

They helped me make anything I wanted, the fridge stocked with ingredients, and Indie Folk played as we laughed, talked, baked, and sipped tea.

It was perfect. They were perfect.

I even got around to talking with Hoseok and Jin about a title for our relationship; we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Yoongi was next, and I was building ammunition to talk to him, equally as excited and giddy as I was nervous.

When we returned home, they let me stay with them the night of our return, and we stayed up watching movies and episodes of our favorite TV shows before falling asleep in the living room. 

The next morning, on our first day back at work, I bustled happily in my workstation, humming as I processed faxes and cleaned my desk.

"Look who's back," Jaehyun greeted, smiling as he approached.

I waved, smiling shyly back at him. "Hi. I'm back."

"How was your vacation?" He rested his forearms against the reception counter. With a wink, he let me know, "They won't shut up about it. More accurately, they won't shut up about you."

I blushed furiously. "What? That's—they—" I swallowed cautiously. "What?"

He laughed. "Don't worry, yeah? Your secret's safe with me. They're happy, and I won't ruin it. Besides, look at you; you're clearly happy, especially after your vacation with them." He patted the counter. "My lips are sealed."

My blush only grew. "Okay," I squeaked.

Just then, Lyric approached right on time to walk me to lunch. 

She side-eyed Jaehyun but smiled brightly when he turned to look at her. As soon as he looked away, she dropped her smile and made a face at him, snickering when I gaped at her.

Jaehyun caught my expression and turned quickly to look at Lyric. "What did you do?"

Lyric scoffed. "As if that's any of your business."

Blinking rapidly, I wondered, "Do you...do you both know each other?"

"Know each other?" Lyric waved her hand around dismissively. "We grew up in the same town."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh yeah," Jaehyun continued with a smirk. "Our Lyric here was always the talk of the town, especially when the news came out about her little harem."

Lyric rolled her eyes and jabbed her acrylic nail into his chest. "They couldn't understand why no one wanted to be in a harem with them, so they were jealous and gossiped about me to make themselves feel better."

"Right," Jaehyun snickered. "That's why they gossiped about you."

Lyric narrowed her eyes at him, muttered something about hometown freaks, and turned her bright smile to me. "Lunchtime, babe."

"Babe?" Jaehyun raised both his brows. "Are you dragging poor, innocent Faeryn into your harem?"

Lyric shot him a look. "Don't infantilize her, and no, I'm not 'dragging' her into my harem. I call all my friends pet names, something you wouldn't know, Jaehyun, since we're not friends."

"Aren't we?"

"Your stupidity is enough to both amuse and horrify me."

Unsure if they were being mean, teasing, or flirting, I stood there awkwardly. 

They both looked at me, and I jumped slightly, unnerved.

"Well?" Jaehyun asked just as Lyric prompted, "Lunch."

Hurriedly, I spewed a few apologies before grabbing my bag. Once beside Lyric, she put her arm around my waist and dragged me away from Jaehyun, telling me to ignore his parting goodbye. I didn't want to be rude, so I waved over my shoulder, earning a poke to my side from Lyric.

"What?" I asked, confused. "I didn't want to be rude."

"He's annoying."

"Sorry," I tried.

"I didn't say that you were annoying." She poked me again. "Just him. Ugh, you wouldn't believe the hell he put me through back when we were kids. Stealing my lunch on the playground, making better rock sculptures than me—don't tell him I said that—and when we were teenagers, everyone went to his parties instead of mine. I asked him once to change his party to a different day so people could go to mine and his, but he didn't." She rolled her eyes. "Egotistical idiot."

I listened quietly, unsure how to respond. Jaehyun was friends with the guys, but Lyric seemed to hate him even if it seemed like they were flirting a few moments ago.

Whiplashed, I chose to nod as she continued talking, thinking it to be the safest option; a nod to show her I was listening.

"Anyway," she drawled. "He wasn't too bad after high school. College parties were better, and people liked me there. He and I hosted a party together once; just for shits and giggles." She shrugged. "Wasn't bad, actually." Her scowl returned, confusing me once more. "But he's still annoying."

My next motion was a mix of a nod and a head shake.

"Lunchtime," she chirped, completely changing the topic much to my relief. "I wonder if your harem is there already."

We entered the break room, and my features broke into a relieved, excited smile. Waving excitedly to all seven of my men at our usual table, I received seven waves in return and matching smiles.

I hurried over with Lyric by my side, and at the table, I leaned down to lace my arms around Jungkook's neck for a quick hug. 

"Missed you," I told him, nuzzling my head against his. 

He blushed, pleased and bashful. "I missed you, too." He pointed to the seat next to him. "Do you want to sit next to me? I want you to if you want to."

"Of course I want to!" I exclaimed readily, refraining from kissing him in such a public space as I sat beside him. To the others, I greeted happily, "Hi!"

Greetings were chorused back at me, and I sunk further into my seat, content. From beside me, Lyric plopped down. It was a new rule for when the guys ate with us; Lyric had to sit beside me. She made the rule, but everyone agreed since she'd been having lunch with me before they started to.

I was just ecstatic that I could eat lunch with everyone. My younger self wouldn't believe how many people wanted to join me for lunch, much less that she was in a relationship with seven of them.

With a light blush, I ate leftovers they brought from dinner and sipped my protein shake while everyone chatted. I simply listened contently for most of it, but they added me into the conversation a few times, even if just by talking about things we wanted to do or had done and offering me a smile. 

They knew group conversations were difficult for me, and seeing how they went about including me with such ease was incredibly heartwarming and fulfilling. They did it in a way that didn't overwhelm me, and I began to ease into the conversation every now and then, beaming when they completely stopped talking to let me be heard—even if all I contributed to the conversation was a simple sentence.

As the end of our lunch break arrived, Jungkook asked, "What are we going to play for game night tonight?"

I immediately felt bad. "Oh, I—I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" His brows wavered with confusion. "The game 'Sorry'?"

"No, not—no, not the game." I shook my head quickly with a wince. "I meant that I'm sorry. Lyric and I made plans."

His features dropped. "Oh." Tugging his lip between his teeth, he nibbled, unsure. Casting a glance at Namjoon, he spoke waveringly. "We always do game nights on Wednesdays." 

Lyric looked between us. "We could pick another day, Fae."

"No," Jin decided. "We can do a game night with Faeryn next week, Jungkook. It's fine."

I understood that Jungkook's schedule had been messed with, and guilty, I said, "I can pick another day, really. I should've thought about that."

"You didn't do anything wrong, honey," Jimin negated kindly. "Our nights with you aren't set in stone; you're free to do whatever you'd like, okay?"

I looked at Jungkook uncertainly. "But his schedule—"

"He'll be fine, won't he, bub?" Namjoon cut in, lifting a brow at Jungkook. 

Jungkook nodded, flustered. "Yeah. Sorry, Faeryn. I was confused because of the schedule."

"It's okay," I rushed to say. "You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Hoseok chuckled softly. "Neither of you need to be sorry. It's okay."

Jungkook and I relaxed a bit, showing a small smile to each other. Grabbing his hand, I squeezed it tightly.

"Tell me if you win at whatever game you play," I told him.

His smile grew a bit, and he squeezed my hand just as tightly. "I will."

Taehyung asked cheerfully, "Where are you and Lyric going, Faeryn?"

Lyric grinned. "My nail tech."

Jungkook looked down at my nails. "But her nails are already pretty."

I blushed. "Thank you. Yours are pretty, too."

"The adults are talking, subs," Lyric tutted, making me and Jungkook turn a bright red. Her words earned a small chuckle from Namjoon, making Jungkook's and my blush worse. "Although her nails are pretty, she liked my acrylics and wanted to try something."

"Would that be all right, honey?" Jimin asked me. "For your sensory issues?"

"I've already thought about that," Lyric revealed, waving him off. "We're not doing acrylics; we're going to just paint her nails that same color as my acrylics and add little stickers or whatever she thinks is cute. Right, babes?"

I managed a nod, still burning up. 

She laughed a bit. "Are you okay?"

"Aside from you calling her and Jungkook subs?" Yoongi commented rather drily. 

"He speaks," was Lyric's impromptu, snarky response. "And what about it? They are."

He didn't look impressed.

"Oh, come on," Lyric laughed. "It's fun. Do you know what that is, grumps?"

Yoongi stared at her head-on. "I know what fun is."

"Really?" She lifted her brows. "Where's the proof?"

"Music is fun."

"Music?" She sighed. "Yoongi. Grumps. Come on. If you're trying to win over our Faeryn over here, do you really think music is that fun to her?"

His eyes flitted to mine, and I blinked. 

Slowly, he returned his eyes to Lyric. "She enjoys my music."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure she does," she responded dismissively, "but music can't be the only source of fun you have, you know? I mean, have you ever taken her out?"

I squirmed, highly uncomfortable.

Yoongi caught the movement, tracking it as he responded in low tones, "No."

"That's not true," I blurted in his defense. "It was his idea to go to the ocean."

Lyric shrugged. "That's a good start."

"Start?" Yoongi asked wearily.

"You didn't take her alone," Lyric explained. "It was a group outing. I mean, haven't you all taken her out one-on-one before?"

"They don't have to," I insisted. "I like being with all of them at the same time."

"How are they supposed to get to know you if they don't take you out on solo dates?" Lyric continued. "Come on, Faeryn. If you were dating one person, you'd expect to be taken out on dates. Being in a poly relationship is no different."

"Well, we—we do have one-on-one time," I continued defending them. "At their house, and I like it, and it's fun, so I don't need to be taken out on a date."

"You do," Jin negated. "You deserve that." I peeked over at him as he continued, "We'll arrange it."

My eyes widened. "What?"

Lyric clapped her hands once. "That's what I'm talking about! He makes the calls, doesn't he?" She whistled, impressed. "Big shot." She pointed at Yoongi. "He's up first."

He continued staring at her before he eventually dipped his chin. "I am."

My pulse quickened. "You really don't have to."

His eyes settled on mine. "You would prefer not to?"

"No, I—I would love to, but—"

"Then I will take you out."

Namjoon hid his smile of approval and amusement behind his fist. "Where will you take her?"

"Somewhere I know she will like," Yoongi responded decidedly. 

"Somewhere fun," Lyric amended teasingly. 

"Yes," Yoongi confirmed. "Somewhere fun."

Jin shook out his wrist to check his watch, and standing, he told everyone, "Back to work. Faeryn," he prompted, garnering my attention, "we have late practice tonight as we discussed, but we'll follow up with you while you're out with Lyric."

"Follow up?" Lyric questioned, crumpling her napkin and tossing it onto her plate. "What for?"

"We like to check in," he responded curtly. "Do you have an issue with that, Lyric?"

"Jesus. We're all friends here, yeah? It was just a question." She nudged my side with her elbow. "They're crazy protective, huh?"

"We're not checking in due to that," Jin corrected, his expression shifting quickly to a more stern one. "Although yes, we are protective of what's ours."

Lyric grinned. "Mhm. Every single day, you all make me believe that you're totally just friends with her." She wiggled her brows at me before asking him, "Then why the need to check in with her? Think I'm a bad influence?"

"No," he decided. "You're kind to her, and she enjoys being with you. We'll check in simply because we want to. To remind her that if she needs anything, we're available."

Lyric's lips tugged into a smile laced with approval. "Now that's what I'm talking about." She stood and tugged me up with her. "You have some great friends, Fae." She nudged me toward them. "Say your friendly goodbyes; I'll wait outside so we can walk down to your station together."

I thanked her, and as she was leaving, Jungkook stood and hugged me tightly. 

"I'll tell you about the game," he promised. "And I won't watch TMNT without you."

Jimin laughed fondly. "You're acting like she'll be gone for a while. It's only a night."

"A night without her is a long time," Jungkook countered, sighing deeply into my hair. Pressing his nose into it, he inhaled longingly before pulling away. "Can you text me pictures of the nail salon place if it's fancy? I want to see."

"I'll take lots of pictures to show you," I promised eagerly, excited at the prospect. 

"Thank you," he breathed out, and taking his phone from his pocket, he carefully eased the case away. I watched, surprised, as he pulled out the Polaroid I took for him on my first outing with Lyric. 

Smiling shyly, he explained, "It's special to me, so I wanted to keep it where I could look at it every day."

"Oh, Jungkook, that is so sweet of you," Hoseok spoke fondly. "Very thoughtful."

Jungkook blushed, shrugging a bit in response. "Thanks, hyung, but I wasn't trying to be sweet. I just wanted to keep it close."

"Our Jungkookie doesn't have to try to be sweet, is what he's trying to say," Jimin teased.

"No," Jungkook refuted, flustered. "That's not what I meant."

"They're teasing you, bub," Namjoon chuckled. "But they're right; that was very sweet whether you meant it to be or not."

"Yeah," I agreed, in absolute awe. "You're so sweet to me."

"I always want to be sweet to you," he told me seriously, his forehead creased with determination. "You're so nice to everybody, even if they're not nice to you."

Touched, I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. "Thank you."

He buried his face in my hair. "Anything for you."

Once I hugged the others and returned to Lyric, my chest twinged with sadness that I wouldn't be with them tonight. I would enjoy being with Lyric, I always did, but I wouldn't be returning home to them; I would be going to my apartment. Not my home, and home, I realized, was wherever they are.

꧁꧂

 

Lyric was very excited at the nail appointment. She was well acquainted with the nail tech, and they laughed and talked while my nails were painted. I didn't talk much, but the environment was nice, and everything was pretty.

I decided on gems and a few stickers, absolutely thrilled with the outcome. I gushed my gratitude to the nail tech, and she beamed, laughing when I kept pushing onto my tiptoes during my excitement. She even took a picture for her social media profile and tagged Lyric since I didn't have social media.

Her caption was really nice, and I was giddy when I left with Lyric to finish the night with a late dinner. Towards the end of it, she asked, "What's wrong?"

I tore my attention away from the wall quickly, struggling to zone back in. "What?"

"You look sad," she noted, squinting as she examined me. Waving her chopsticks around, she confirmed, "You look sad."

I tensed a little, deflated, and nodded.

"Why?" Her brows pinched together. "Is the food bad?"

"No," I denied, waving my hands around before letting them drop onto my lap. Clutching the top of my pans for comfort, I released a short breath. "I just...I have to go back to my apartment after this."

She considered. Then, she sat back in her seat. "You don't like your apartment."

"It's okay," I said hesitantly. "Nothing's wrong with it, and I feel safe there, I guess, but it's just..." My features tightened. "It's not home."

"And home," she said slowly, "is with your harem."

I blushed, froze, then nodded.

"Well," she sighed, picking up more food with her chopsticks. Letting it hang mid-air, she decided against eating it and put it back down. "Why don't you ask to move in with them again?"

"What?" I sputtered. "I can't."

"Why not?" She raised her brows. "Did they ban you from living with them again?"

"Well, no," I stammered. "But I'm not living with them for a reason. I have enough money now, so I don't have to."

"Is that the only reason? I mean shit, Fae. You like them, they like you; what's the hold-up?"

"I just..." My hands tensed around my pants. "I don't need to live there anymore."

"Okay, but you want to, and with how they all react so strongly to 12 hours without you, I'd say they want the same."

I bit my lip worriedly, releasing it as I refuted, "But I have my apartment; that was the plan."

She shrugged. "Plans change all the time."

Confused, I could only manage a shake of my head.

"Come on," she pressed. "Seriously. Have any of you even talked about it?" When I remained quiet, she sighed. "Why haven't you?"

I shrugged defeatedly. "I don't know."

"You should ask," she decided. "You can't get what you want if you don't ask."

"But what if they don't want it and I just embarrassed myself by asking?"

She laughed a bit. "Fae, do you see the way they look at you? The way they treat you? If you wanted the moon, they'd find some way to get it for you. Maybe take you on a lil vacation up there. But you'll never know if you don't ask, so ask! Seriously!"

"They can't get me the moon," I whispered, confused and slightly distraught. "They couldn't bring it to Earth."

"I didn't mean literally."

"Oh."

"Fae," she said, amused. "Ask them."

"I'm scared."

"Of them? Oh hell no. What did they do to make you scared? Whatever they did, I take back every nice thing I just said about them." She stood, cracking her knuckles. "Let's go."

"What?" I blinked rapidly. "Lyric, no, they—no, no, no, they didn't make me scared. I just am."

Her eyes narrowed, and she slowly sat back down. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to make things awkward by asking," I revealed.

"Girl." She deadpanned. "If asking something like this makes things awkward between all of you and puts a rift right in the middle, then the relationship was doomed to begin with. It's better to find out now than later, right?"

My breath hitched. "I don't want to lose them."

"Over this? I really don't think you will. I mean, coming from the seven men who let you live with them when they didn't even know you."

I hesitated. "That's...true."

"Now that they know you so...personally, do you really think they'll turn you away?"

"But if they wanted me to stay," I stressed, "why would they let me go through with getting an apartment? I mean, I've already paid first month's rent, and I'm on a year lease."

"Well, probably because they thought it was what you wanted," she pointed out. "You were excited about having your first place. And even if you cried the first time being at your apartment, it could've been you sad that you were parting with them, but that's typical when someone branches out to live alone. 

"They probably thought the excitement would come with time, and they weren't going to talk you out of something you'd been excited about when you were in such a fragile headspace that day. I mean, are you still crying because you miss them at your apartment?"

I shook my head. 

"And do you tell them you don't like living alone?" she quizzed.

"No," I said slowly, understanding what point she was making.

"Then they think you're happy living on your own," she concluded. "In their minds, asking you to move back in with them is taking you away from your happiness. Also, it's your first time living alone after your douchey ex. Maybe they think you need some time alone; some freedom, you know?"

"But I feel free with them," I told her with wide eyes. "They let me do whatever I want, and they let me go out with you. Ryker never let me do anything."

"Okay, but that's the bare minimum, Fae," she said kindly. "They know that."

"Oh."

"Look." She patted my hand. "It's okay. If you want to ask them, you can ask them, and I really think that you should."

"Do...do you think that they'll say yes? I don't want to ask if they'll say no."

"I can't say for sure, but I know they care about you, so even if they say no for whatever reason, they're not going anywhere."

I swallowed roughly. "I'm scared because I...I don't want to lose them."

"I don't think you need to be scared about that," she assured me. "They're everywhere you fucking turn. At work, at their house, and they visit your apartment, too. Also, maybe that's another reason why they haven't asked you to live with them. Maybe they think you want your space to...what's the word...oh! Regulate. You get overstimulated, right? So maybe seeing and being around them all the time is overstimulating."

"Well...maybe," I said uncertainly. "But if I get overstimulated, I just go to my room at home, and when I'm feeling better, I just leave my room, walk downstairs, and get to be with everyone again."

"Then talk to them," she coaxed. "If you think it'll work long term, go for it. Worst case scenario, you'll be able to save up while you're living with them—unlike with Ryker—and you can afford somewhere to live."

I paled. "I don't want that to happen. I—I don't want to leave them, or for them to leave me. I just want to be with them forever."

Her lower lip turned out. "That's adorable."

"It's true," I refuted, embarrassed and sad at the thought of never seeing them again. "But...maybe I shouldn't live with them. They said they wouldn't get tired of me, but being around me for so long—"

"Oh, please. Being around you for so long is fun, and the right people won't get tired of you." She set me with a look. "Don't be so cruel to yourself."

I deflated. "Sorry."

She patted my hand again. "I have an idea."

I sniffled. "What is it?"

"Are you crying?" She gaped at me. "Faeryn. You're going to cry."

I shrugged helplessly.

"Okay, that's it." She stood and came to my side of the booth, taking a seat beside me and wrapping her arm around my waist. "Time for an intervention." Lifting me up, she grabbed a wad of cash from her pocket and slammed it on the table. "Let's go."

"You'll let me pay you back," I managed as she tugged me out of the restaurant. 

"Like hell I will."

"No one lets me pay," was my fading response as she pushed me into her car and closed the door.

Her idea of an intervention was taking me to her apartment for a sleepover. Truthfully, I was very excited by the idea. Aside from the guys, I'd never had a sleepover before, and having a girl's night made my worry ease a bit.

Cheverie stood by the kitchen counter, tossing back a bowl of popcorn as she eyed Lyric and me wearily.

"What is with all of..." She shook her hand around our general vicinity. "This."

Lyric sent her a look. "You just gestured to us."

"Yes. Yes, I did." She quirked a brow when Lyric went back to ignoring her. "A response is required."

"A response is required my ass," Lyric retorted, finishing up with the blanketed area in the small living room. "There. See, Fae? This is a personal spot just for you."

I looked down at it. "Can you sit with me? Even if it's a personal spot for just me?"

"Uh, yeah, of course?!" She nudged my shoulder playfully. "I'll sit with you."

I smiled a bit and gave her a big hug. "Thank you."

Cheverie chewed on some more popcorn. "Why aren't you with your harem tonight? Falling out?"

Lyric groaned. "Do you ever shut up?"

"You're projecting."

Lyric scoffed, already gearing up to shoot something back when I stammered, "We're not in a falling out. We just live separately now."

"If you're not in a falling out," she asked, "why do you live separately?"

"Oh, hush," Lyric scolded her. "Fae, she doesn't know about the situation, so she's talking just to talk. She does that, unfortunately, every single day of my life."

My phone took the uncomfortable moment as an excuse to ring, and excusing myself from the conversation I was roped into, I hurried to the bathroom and locked the door. I accepted the phone call, and I relaxed immediately when Taehyung's voice came through.

"Hey, Faeryn!" he greeted cheerfully. "We just finished game night, but I won't tell you the outcome. Jungkook made me promise not to."

I giggled. "Hi."

"We're deciding what movie to watch, but it's a tie, so we wanted to know what you would watch if you were here."

"Oh!" I blinked. "Can't you just watch both?"

"We could," he agreed. "But which one would you want to watch first between Parasite and a few episodes of Sweet Home?"

I whispered, "Those are scary."

"I know, but you don't have to watch them, so don't worry. It's just a pretend 'if you would watch them' question."

"Okay," I said, thinking as hard as I could. "I...I think would watch Parasite first because it would be quicker than Sweet Home, so it would be less time to watch scary things."

I could hear his grin on the other side of the phone. "Good idea."

I beamed. "Thank you!" I paused. "Everyone likes scary movies?"

"Yeah, we like them! The adrenaline is pretty fun."

"Oh." I twisted my lips, confused. "But...we never watch scary movies or shows."

"Well, that's because they scare you," he explained cheerily. "And we don't want you to be scared."

"I can handle it," I insisted. "If you want to watch scary movies, I can too, I promise."

"I know you can," he assured. "But you wouldn't enjoy it, and if you're not enjoying yourself, neither are we. Besides, we all like the movies and shows you want, so if you think we're sacrificing our enjoyment, we're really not, I promise."

Since I was gone for the night, they were able to do something they enjoyed.

Suddenly, the phone call wasn't as enjoyable, and the pit in my stomach grew. I just wanted to go home, but home was watching a scary movie because now it could since I wasn't there.

Deflated, I whispered, "I should get back."

"Back where?" he wondered.

"I'm...I'm having a sleepover with Lyric and Cheverie, her roommate."

"Oh! That sounds like fun," he gushed. "Are you having fun?"

"I...I think so."

"You think so?" He paused. "Are you okay?"

I was quiet for a moment. "They're arguing, and I—I feel so awkward. I really like sleepovers, and I want to have a girl's night, but I don't think they're having a nice time."

"Oh, Faeryn, I'm so sorry," he sympathized. "Do you want us to come get you? We will. We can have our own sleepover."

The idea was inviting, especially with our last, successful sleepover, but I wanted to spend time with Lyric. Besides, if I returned home, everyone wouldn't be able to watch the scary movies they had their hearts set on, and it would be all my fault.

"No," I forced myself to say, the very action paining me. "It's okay. I...I can just talk to them, right? Maybe if they can talk it out, they won't fight anymore, and we can have a nice, safe sleepover."

"I'm sure talking it out would help," he encouraged. "And you are safe there, even if their bickering makes you feel awkward, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I...yeah, I know." I took a deep breath. "Can you...please, can you tell everyone I said hi?"

"Yeah, of course," he confirmed good-naturedly. "I'm sure you'll get a text from everyone individually before we go to bed, especially from Jungkook because he'll tell you how game night went."

That made my lips inch a small smile. "Okay. Thanks for calling me. I—I really like when you call me."

"I really like calling you, too," he said genuinely. "Thanks for picking up."

I clutched my phone tightly. "I wish I could hug you."

"I wish I could hug you too," he returned, his voice softening. "Are you sure you're okay? It's okay if you're not, and you don't have to talk about it if you say you're not, but you can tell me. It might make you feel not as alone."

I struggled within myself before admitting, "I just miss everyone."

"We miss you, too," he murmured. There was a slight pause, movement on his end, his hand over the receiver as his muffled words followed, and then a chorus of, "We miss you, Faeryn!" was sent to me from everyone.

My smile grew at the sound of them, and my grip on the phone became constricting. "I miss you!" I said quickly, hoping they could hear me. "Taehyung, can—can they hear me?"

"We can hear you," they each confirmed in different ways, their words overlapping each other.

"Oh," I breathed out, relieved. "That's really great." Then, just to make sure they knew, I repeated, "I really miss you, and...I'm having a girl's night and sleepover with Lyric and Cheverie." I lowered my voice. "They're fighting right now, but I'm going to talk to them so hopefully they won't fight anymore."

"Do I need to talk to them?" Jin rumbled, closer to the phone than before. 

"No," I stammered with wide eyes. "I—I can do it."

"I know you can," he confirmed. "But so can I."

"No, it's—really, it's okay." Determined, I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "I can do it."

"She can do it," Taehyung confirmed, encouraging me. "She's a great communicator."

My heart filled with warmth. "Thank you."

"Faeryn," Jungkook piped up. "I'm going to text you about the game."

"Okay," I agreed eagerly. "I'll text you back."

Namjoon chuckled. "Go on back to your friends, Faeryn. Have fun."

"Okay," I said slowly, glancing over at the bathroom door. "I'll...I'll see you later, okay? At HYBE."

"You will."

My thumb hovered over the 'end call' option. "I'm...going to hang up now."

"Mhm."

I didn't hang up.

Taehyung offered, "How about I hang up?"

"Okay," I whispered.

"What's wrong, honey?" Jimin asked. "You don't want to have a girl's night?"

"No, I—I do, but I just..." I hung my head. "I'm sorry. You're all going to watch the scary movie, so I need to go. It's okay, Taehyung; I can hang up. I can do it."

I pressed the 'end call' button before he could respond, and glumly, I re-entered the living room.

Lyric and Cheverie sat together on the couch, and they looked at me as I approached.

Blinking in confusion, I hesitantly wondered, "What's going on?"

"We're friends now." Lyric smiled and patted Cheverie's knee, scowling when the latter jerked back. "Right?"

When Cheverie didn't respond, Lyric elbowed her and said through gritted teeth, "Right?"

Cheverie rolled her eyes. "Right."

I stared at them. "You...seem upset."

"We're having a girl's night," Lyric chirped. "We can't be upset during one of those, right, Cheverie?"

This time, Cheverie agreed before Lyric could elbow her. "Sure. Right."

I sat next to Lyric uncertainly. "Okay. Well...what do we do on a girl's night?"

"Have fun, of course!" Lyric exclaimed, grinning as she linked her arms with Cheverie and me. "First up, we're going to make hot chocolate and snacks. Who's with me?"

I glanced at Cheverie to catch sight of her scowl, and withering slightly, I turned to look at Lyric. "What's wrong?"

Lyric turned, saw Cheverie's scowl, and slapped her shoulder. "Girl's night! No scowling, and absolutely no arguing!"

I paused, then shrunk back, embarrassed. "You heard me? In the bathroom?"

"Uh...no?"

I turned red. "I'm so sorry. I—I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or feel bad. I just—I wanted us all to have fun, but you and Cheverie don't like each other, and I think she's still mad at me for wearing her makeup." I looked at her tentatively. "I'm really sorry."

"That wasn't your fault," she huffed. "It was Lyric's for giving it to you."

"Oh, so I'm the problem?" Lyric went to hit her shoulder again, but Cheverie caught her by the wrist, leaning in close to warn, "Hit me and see what happens."

Lyric scowled and yanked her hand away. "Grab my wrist again and see what happens."

I slowly inched away from them, but they caught the movement and straightened their posture simultaneously.

"We're friends," Lyric repeated. "Who just...fight—but only sometimes! Not tonight, because tonight is girl's night. Now let's get snacks and hot chocolate! We're going to play spin the bottle or something." She tugged us both up. "Come on!"

In the kitchen, Lyric bustled around, striving to keep up a conversation with Cheverie for my sake. Cheverie tried to go along with it, but eventually, she ignored Lyric and focused on her popcorn, talking to me instead.

"So Faeryn," she began demurely. "How's it like dating so many people? I know Lyric just loves to talk about all the people she's slept with, but she can't be bothered to stick to anyone in particular. You're different, aren't you? You can actually be in a committed relationship?"

Lyric repeated her mantra as she mixed the hot chocolate powder into the warm milk, "We're friends, we're friends, we're friends."

"Lyric's in a relationship," I defended. "With two guys from her hometown."

Cheverie chewed languidly on her popcorn. "She seems them three times a year at most. They're a fallback plan, nothing more, nothing less."

I glanced at Lyric who said through clenched teeth, "Not everyone wants to be in a relationship, Cheverie, and you're not one to talk, Miss Break-Up-Every-Month."

Cheverie laughed drily. "It's not my fault no one reaches my standards."

"Standards," Lyric scoffed. "Whatever."

I clasped my hands together awkwardly. "Well, I...I never had a real relationship before now, so I...I know not everyone is good, so maybe breaking up when you realize that a person isn't the one for you is a good idea. You'd just be wasting everyone's time, right?"

Lyric huffed. "Sure. But every month? Jesus. Maybe take a break and focus on yourself."

Cheverie ignored her. "How's your relationship, Faeryn?"

"It's good," I said tentatively. "They're nice to me."

"And? Come on, what else? Details."

"Oh. Well, they...they take care of me, and they let me have a tea party, and they took me to the beach for a vacation, and they learned sign language for me, and they buy me things I used to have when I was little because I don't have them anymore."

"Sign language?" she asked. "What for?"

"Oh. I...well, I'm Autistic, so...when I experience a verbal shutdown, I use sign language to communicate."

"You're Autistic?" She squinted. "You don't seem Autistic."

Lyric rolled her eyes. "You're what's wrong with society. That is exactly why it's so hard for Autistic women to get diagnosed. They're so used to masking that the phycologists even fall for it."

"Well, aren't you knowledgeable?" Cheverie drawled. "From what I've seen, Autistic people speak a certain way and can't socialize properly like that show—what's it called—'The Good Doctor'."

I winced. "The media usually generalizes Autism, which is really harmful for this reason; everyone thinks every Autistic is the same, but we're not. It's just—it's such a misunderstood diagnosis. It was first diagnosed in 1943, so it's not very well understood, and people don't take the time to unlearn the stereotypes."

"Shit." Cheverie paused before popping another popcorn into her mouth. "My bad. I didn't realize." With a shrug, she wondered, "What's it like for you? Being Autistic? You're not too bad at socializing."

"Uh...thank you. I...I think. And socializing is really hard for me. I have to work twice as hard, and even if it seems like it's easy for me, it's exhausting. I have to make sure I'm making eye contact but not too much, I have to distinguish expression properly and be able to tell if people are joking or not, and it all usually goes over my head, so...I..." I shrugged, embarrassed. "I get bullied a lot."

She frowned. "That's bullshit."

"What?" I squeaked. "I'm not lying."

"No; it's bullshit that you get bullied." She stopped eating her popcorn. "People are shit, and this is why I break up with one every month."

I smiled a little. "Yeah."

"But your partners, however many you have, seem to get it." She jutted her chin out, satisfied. "Good."

Lyric listened to our conversation, glancing at Cheverie a few times, and whatever she concluded, she kept it to herself as she finished stirring the hot chocolate.

"Done," she announced, handing us both our drinks. "Let's grab more popcorn and go play spin the bottle."

Once we had our popcorn, we sat on the living room rug with an old beer bottle.

"How do we play?" I asked.

"You've never played?" Cheverie lifted a brow. "It's pretty common in college."

I blushed. "I didn't go to college."

"And you managed to snag a job at HYBE? Shit."

"Yeah, I...I was pretty lucky."

"Huh. Well,  you just spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on, you kiss, but I'm not kissing either of you, so we'll play truth or dare instead."

Lyric rolled her eyes. "Do you really think I was going to play the kissing version?"

"Who fucking knows."

Lyric spun the bottle forcefully. "Cheverie's first. Unfortunately. Truth or dare?"

We played for a while, and eventually, the arguing between them began to calm down, and we were all laughing as we played. 

Afterward, we watched old American movies with subtitles, made cookies from scratch, and had a dance party to a singer Cheverie liked called Chappell Roan. 

I was absolutely enthralled, and although awkward at first dancing because of how bad I was, I jumped up and down happily as the music settled into my bones. The music was fun and playful, and I giggled as Lyric made up funny dance moves. Cheverie even cracked a smile.

Jungkook texted me that he won the game, I texted him back congratulating him with multiple emojis just for the occasion, and the others texted me separately too, wanting to check up on me. I texted everyone back, feeling a little better from earlier in the bathroom, and I fell asleep in the area Lyric made for me, happy and giddy from my first girl's night.

Notes:

hope you enjoyed this little chapter! Stay tuned for Yoongi and Faeryn's date in the next chapter 😜😏

Chapter 28: Date With Yoongi

Summary:

Yoongi takes Faeryn on a date. There's a bit of a hiccup, but Faeryn is quick to devise a plan.

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"Faeryn," Yoongi greeted me at my reception desk a few days later. He dipped his chin when my eyes flickered to his. "Hello."

"Oh!" I put a few files down I'd been sorting to wave, making a few of them drop. "Hi!" I picked up the files that had fallen and placed them back on my desk sheepishly. "Hi. Are you here for a fax? None have come through recently."

"No."

"Oh. Okay! So...what are you—"

"I'm here for you."

I blinked. "For me? I don't...I don't understand. Break isn't for another hour, so—"

"I'm not here for that." He pushed his hands into his hoodie's pockets. "I am here for something else."

"You are?" I looked around my desk. "What are you here for? I'm not sure what else I could have for you."

He inhaled shortly. "I...I am here because I would like to take you on a date. So I am...yes, I am asking you on a date." He cleared his throat. "If you would like to accompany me on a night out."

"A night out?" My cheeks flamed red. "A...a date?"

He paused. "You do not want to go."

"No, I—I want to," I refuted quickly. "I want to go on a date—with you, please. I want that."

His shoulders loosened the tension they'd acquired. "All right."

We stared at each other, and his cheeks flushed slightly. Clearing his throat again, he asked, "When are you free?"

"Oh, I—I'm free whenever. Like, today or tomorrow. The next day." I nodded eagerly. "Whenever."

"I see." He hid a small smile. "How does tomorrow night at five sound?"

"Really good," I breathed out.

"Good." He nodded curtly. "I will pick you up."

"Okay," I agreed. "What—well, what should I wear?"

"Anything you feel comfortable in."

"Okay," I said shyly. "What...what are you going to wear?"

"Formal wear."

"Oh," I said with a slow nod. "Then...I'll wear a dress. Okay?"

"I'm sure you will look very beautiful."

I shifted from foot to foot giddily. "And I'm...I'm sure you'll look very handsome."

"Thank you." He took a step back. "I...I suppose I will see you at break."

"Yeah," I confirmed quickly. "At break. I'll—I mean, we'll see each other at break." I smiled giddily and lifted my hand in a small wave. "In an hour."

"In an hour," he responded, and I caught sight of one of his miniature smiles before he turned to leave.

The next day, Saturday, I was buzzing with excitement. I spent the day at my apartment, and in the late afternoon, I sipped on protein shake as I looked in my closet for what to wear.

I had two dresses to choose from, both of which Lyric said I should get on one of our nights out. I'd only tried them on in the dressing room, and I wasn't sure which one fit me better. Tugging my lip between my teeth, I glanced at the clock.

4:00 PM.

Yoongi would be here in an hour.

My stomach erupted with excitement and nerves, and I hurriedly chose the dress closet to me and darted into my bathroom to change.

I put on moisturizer and body lotion, both smelling like sugar cookies, and I tried my best to style my hair. I gave up on my hair, not really an expert on styling, and decided to just let it lay around my shoulders as it always did.

I hoped Yoongi thought I looked pretty.

Grabbing my purse, I ran to my front door and waited eagerly by it. Twenty minutes passed of me standing in wait, shifting from foot to foot excitedly, and exactly at 5 PM, someone knocked on my door.

Peering through the peephole, I beamed when I saw it was Yoongi, and taking a deep breath to stabilize myself, I opened the door.

He was wearing a white dress shirt with slacks, black dress shoes, and his hair was sleeked back nicely. I could smell a hint of cologne, and I nearly swooned, enjoying the smell.

"Hi," I peeped with a wave. "You...you look really—" My words faltered for a moment before I could conclude, "Handsome."

"Thank you." He'd already taken me in when I'd opened the door, doing so quickly and efficiently, and now, he held his arm out to me. "You look beautiful."

Giddy, I laced my arm through his. "Thank you. I—I was waiting for you."

His brows furrowed. "Am I late?"

"Oh! No, no, but I—" I blushed. "I was just really excited, so it felt like I was waiting for five o'clock forever."

"Ah." He led me down the hall to the elevator. Pressing the down button, he told me, "I looked forward to it all day as well."

I perked up. "Really?"

"Really."

We stepped into the elevator as the doors opened, and he pressed the button for the lobby.

"Where are we going?" I asked excitedly.

"It's a surprise."

"A surprise?" I asked in wonder. "Okay!"

Outside of the apartment complex, my eyes widened at the sight of his car. It was a black Nissan G-TR, similar to the one my father had, but a newer model.

"I like your car," I stammered in awe.

"Thank you." He opened the door for me. "I'm glad you like it."

Once we buckled in, he drove us onto the main roads. Glancing at me, he cleared his throat, and I looked at him expectantly.

"Do you...enjoy cars like you enjoy dinosaurs?" he asked.

"Oh! I like cars because they get us places faster, and I think they're cool, but I don't know much about them unless someone I know has had the model."

"Ah." His fingers rapped against the steering wheel spontaneously. "Do you know this model?"

"Yeah," I agreed quickly. "It's a Nissan G-TR; my dad had a version of it."

He admitted, "I don't know much about cars either. Only the versions I've owned."

"That's something we have in common," I said brightly, ecstatic at the reveal. "Right?"

His lips tugged at the corners before settling. "Yes. Right."

I bounced my feet slightly, pushing onto my tiptoes in my shoes. "Can I guess where we're going, or will it ruin the surprise?"

"You can guess, but I won't tell you."

"Maybe I can...guess from your expression if I'm right." I sat up straighter. "Okay! Are we going to...somewhere with music? Like the bookstore we went to on our way to the ocean?"

He looked straight ahead, continuing to rap his fingers against the wheel.

I thought harder, and my brows creased with concentration. "Maybe...a park! With pretty flowers to look at."

Silence.

"Maybe," I continued, "a tea shop with pretty tea cups to look at."

He glanced at me. "Would you have liked that?"

"So we're not going to a tea shop!" I clapped my hands together once in excitement. "I'm closer to figuring out where we're going now." I set him with a fake stern look. "You weren't supposed to tell me, remember?"

His smile fought through. "You have very good date ideas."

"Well maybe for...future dates, right?" I tried tentatively. 

"You would like to go on a second date without knowing the outcome of the first?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah! I like being with you, so no matter where we go, I know I want to go somewhere else with you."

His usual, strained smile thawed into a softer line. "I would like to take you wherever you'd like to go, so I'm glad you want the same."

I smiled giddily. "Yeah, I do."

"I do as well."

I stopped guessing, too occupied with squirming happily in my seat to do so.

It took us around half an hour to arrive at our destination, and I gasped when I saw where we were; a beautiful restaurant on a beachfront with outdoor seating. There were families laughing and splashing in the water, people seated outside drinking and eating wine, and everyone looked happy.

I beamed, pivoting in my seat to face Yoongi. "Dinner on the beach!"

He parked the car, removing the keys from the ignition as a smile slipped past his defenses. "Dinner on the beach."

I clapped my hands excitedly, but when I reached to open my door, he spoke, "Wait one moment, Faeryn."

I paused and watched inquiringly as he left his seat, closed his door, and rounded the car to my side. I blushed intensely when he opened the door for me, taking my hand and helping me out.

"Thank you," I managed, spinning with excitement and firmness of his calloused hands.

He led me to the restaurant, being careful of my dress when we took the steps inside. At the front desk area, he greeted the waitress with a light bow, and when prompted for a table, he revealed, "Reservation at 5:45 PM for Min."

"Of course," the waitress confirmed with a lovely smile. "Give me one moment to check my list."

Once she confirmed, she grabbed two menus and announced, "If you'll just follow me."

We followed her outside, but instead of leading us to the outdoor area out front, she led us a good distance away to a pier with not as many people—and closer to the beach.

In awe, I couldn't stop looking around in wonder when we sat down, completely neglecting the menu. I didn't notice the waitress's absence until the sudden silence prompted me to look away from the view. Turning, I smiled bashfully when I realized I held Yoongi's full attention.

"Hi," I offered.

"Hello."

"I...I like the beach, and the pier is so nice," I told him. "I can't believe we get to eat at a fancy restaurant and look at the ocean."

He dipped his chin, silently pleased with my enjoyment. "I'm glad you like it."

"And," I added, lowering my voice slightly. "There's not a lot of people on the pier."

"It will be less likely for you to become overwhelmed," he concluded for me, and I nodded quickly.

"Yeah," I gushed, standing up in my excitement only to sit back down as soon as I had. Blushing, I lifted the menu to take a look, although I peeked at him over the top of it. "Thank you."

"I am just glad you like it," he responded. "I was a bit worried you would not find it...fun."

"It's so fun," I said ardently. "I like it so much—just like your music."

"You find my music fun," he repeated. "It is enjoyable?"

"Yes! Your music is fun and also calms me down. It's the best."

"I see." His shoulders slackened, and he loosed a short breath. "I was also...worried that you did not find it enjoyable."

I hesitated, unsure. "Why? Do...do I make it seem like I don't like it? If I do, I'm really sorry. I forgot sometimes about making my facial expressions match what I'm feeling, but that's because of Autism, not because I don't like your music."

"No, that—no, that's not why, and it isn't an issue." He ran his thumb over the spine of the menu. "Lyric advised I take you somewhere more fun since my music did not suffice."

"It suffices," I refuted indignantly. "Lyric's idea of fun is different from mine sometimes, so maybe she doesn't understand why I find your music fun, but I do. I really do, Yoongi, and I wouldn't just say that."

"I'm..." He breathed deeply, showing a small smile. "Relieved. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit how worried I was."

"It's okay," I assured him quickly. "I get worried sometimes, too."

"Yes," he confirmed. "I suppose it's a part of life, although I would prefer if it wasn't."

"Me too," I agreed, laughing a bit. "Maybe it's about how we handle the worry though, like how Jin says to communicate. If we communicate, we won't be as worried. Are you as worried?"

His smile remained. "No."

I beamed. "Jin was right."

"He usually is about these things."

"Yeah," I agreed good-naturedly. "He's really smart, and he knows a lot about things I didn't, but he never makes me feel bad for not knowing; he just explains it to me."

"He is kind; he always has been."

I nodded happily. "Yeah, even if..." I smiled bashfully. "He's a little intimidating."

"He can come across as intimidating, yes."

I squirmed a bit. "You...you intimidated me a little at first, too."

Surprised, he asked, "Did I?"

"A little," I confirmed with a light flush. "I really wanted to talk to you, but I wasn't sure how to."

"I see." His head tilted slightly. Curiously. "Are you still...intimidated by me?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore."

"May I ask what helped with that?"

"Your music," I explained. "It felt like you were speaking to me through your music, so..." I shrugged shyly. "It felt like I was talking to you before we really talked."

His features shifted, and he exhaled shortly. "That makes me..." He trailed off uncertainly, and a look of confusion passed over his features.

I waited, nodding encouragingly when his eyes relayed his uncertainty.

Momentarily, his features shifted, and realization settled in. No longer confused, he looked surprised and concluded in a quieter tone, "Happy."

My heart skipped, stopped, and restarted in the span of two seconds, and a big smile lit up my face.

"Happy?" I asked, ensuring I heard correctly. "It makes you happy?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes." He paused, a beat passed, and he amended, "You do."

"I...I do what?"

"Make me feel...happiness. It's..." He released a short breath. "It's been so long since I felt it, I wasn't sure what it was, but you—yes." He lowered his chin. "You've helped me feel it again."

Emotions pricked the back of my eyes. "I did?"

"I do not want to put pressure on you," he was quick to add, suddenly concerned. "I can find happiness in your absence, but it is not as bright as if I were with you—even if you aren't explicitly in my presence, like when I hear you laughing outside of my room when I am alone within it, you make me feel it. I...I believe you have helped me to remember what it felt like to be happy and to want to fight for the feeling to remain."

He rubbed the front of his slacks up and down, up and down. "You made it seem so beautiful, and I wanted to try to find the beauty in it again."

I put my hand over my mouth as my breath hitched, and my eyes filled with tears shortly after.

"Are...are you all right?" he asked. "Did I upset you?"

I stood, rearranged my chair, and pushed it until it was right beside his. Sniffling, I turned to look at him and shook my head.

His brows furrowed as he looked at me. "I apologize if I upset you. That was not my intention."

"You didn't upset me," I promised with another sniffle. "I'm just really happy that I could help."

His gaze softened, and the worry that had accumulated in his eyes began to fade away. "So am I."

I pushed our chairs closer together until there was no space between us. "I wanted to sit with you."

"I would like to sit with you, too."

"Can...well, can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

I swallowed, gathered my courage, and wondered, "Do you want to hold hands? I know that this is only our first date, so we don't have to, but I—I just thought it would be nice to hold hands while we looked at the menu. We don't have to, okay? You can tell me no; I can take it."

"I..." His throat bobbed, and he looked down at where my hands were clasped on my lap. "I have not held hands in a setting like this in a...a very long time."

"It's okay," I said quickly, blushing intensely. "You don't have to. It was just a suggestion, so that means you don't need to do it, and you don't have to feel bad either."

"I..." He cleared his throat. "Although I have not done it in a very long time, I would like to. It's just that..." His forehead pinched, and his voice wavered slightly. "I am embarrassed to say, but when I'm nervous, my palms sweat."

"Oh!" I sat up straighter, relieved at his reasoning. "That's okay—really! I don't mind, and you don't have to be nervous. Maybe holding hands will even make you feel less nervous."

He hesitated. "Perhaps."

"Do you want to try?" I asked hopefully, making sure to let him know, "You can say no; that's okay, I promise. It's just your boundary, and I won't be mad—I really won't! Boundaries are important; you all told me so, and they've helped me a lot, so I know they help everyone else, too."

He contemplated my words and presently wiped his hands on his slacks with a deep breath. "Please do not feel bad if you need to stop holding my hand if my palms begin to sweat."

"People sweat sometimes," I responded, excited when he lifted his hand. "It's okay."

"Then...it is all right if we hold hands. I would like to very much."

"Will—okay," I said giddily. "Will I hold your hand first, or do you want to hold my hand first?"

"Ah. Well." He contemplated again. "I can hold your hand if that is all right."

"Yes," I breathed out yearningly. "Please."

"All right," he murmured, and I nearly stopped breathing when he took my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine.

The sheer moment felt like fireworks exploded in my stomach and out over the sky's horizon, and I hummed as I spun and the ocean breeze washed over me.

I peeked down at our hands, biting back happy giggles at the sight, and looked up just in time to catch his watchful smile.

Blushing, I let him know, "I was just looking."

"I know. I saw you looking."

"Oh." I laughed awkwardly. "Sorry about that. I just—I wanted to look."

"You can look."

"Oh, that's—well, that's okay. I already looked once." I was quiet for a moment before blurting, "I like holding your hand."

"I like holding your hand, too." He gestured to our menus. "Should we—?"

"Oh! Yes, we—yeah, we should pick something before the waitress comes back."

Embarrassed but pleased to be holding his hand, I clung to it as we looked at his menu together.

"I looked at the menu beforehand," he revealed. "They have pasta with the sauce you like, Gamja Jorim, and chicken as a side dish without any sauce, but if you want sauce, they have brown sauce; the one you like."

I looked at him longingly. "You looked at the menu before we came here?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "I wanted to make sure you would enjoy what was available. If not, it would not be a fun date."

I inhaled sharply. "Date is...it's..." I shook my head quickly. Wondrously. "I can't believe we're on a date. It so—I really like that we're on a date." I peeked up at him. "It's really nice."

He squeezed my hand, only furthering my giddiness. "I'm glad we're on a date, too. It is really nice."

"Really nice," I echoed contently and squirmed happily in my seat while we looked through the menu.

I decided on pasta, and he chose Gamja Jorim with a main chicken course.

We thanked the waitress when our food arrived, and I excitedly tried my pasta.

"How is it?" Yoongi asked, leaving his food untouched. "Is it all right?"

I nodded, showing my best thumbs-up. "So good!" I glanced at his food. "Are you going to eat, too? Is it too hot? I—I can blow on it for you if you want."

He started to smile. "I can blow on it, but thank you." He picked up his chopsticks and tore them apart easily. "I wanted to ensure your food was all right first."

"It is," I promised. "So"—I nudged his plate gently toward him—"please eat."

He lifted a few potatoes, put them on an empty dish he asked the waitress for, and placed them near my plate.

I looked at their placement curiously. "Do you eat the potatoes last?"

"These are for you."

My eyes widened. "For me?"

"You were having difficulty deciding between them and the pasta, so I thought you might want potatoes, too." He lifted a few pieces of plain chicken and placed them with the potatoes. "There are no spices, and it's good for protein."

My features brightened. "Really? For me?"

"Yes. For you."

Surprised, I beamed and thanked him repeatedly, taking his hand fleetingly before returning it to my attempts to open my chopsticks. When I kept failing, he carefully eased them from my grip and ripped them for me. Putting them back between my fingers, he guided them to the chicken.

"Thank you," I said gratefully before taking a bite. Once he was sure I was eating, he began eating his portion.

I kept looking out to the ocean, humming contentedly and swinging my legs beneath the table while I ate.

"This is so good," I gushed after a while. Turning to Yoongi with wide eyes, I wondered, "Is your food good, too?"

"It is. Very good." His fingers paused around his chopsticks, and with his free hand, he lifted it slightly. "Your hair is getting in the way of your food. May I?"

"Oh! Oh, you—yes, that's—yes, please, you can."

His fingers gingerly eased my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ears. "Is that better?"

"Better," I confirmed headily. "Thank you."

He dipped his chin in acknowledgment.

"Yoongi?" I tried.

"Yes?"

"You...well, I just wanted to ask if I could maybe touch your hair a little, even if it isn't in your face." I followed up with a whisper, "It's really soft."

Lacing our fingers together, he carefully brought them to his hair, and I inhaled sharply once my fingers met his fluffy hair.

"Pretty," I whispered, quickly remembering to add, "Thank you for letting me touch."

"That's all right," he denied. "You let me touch your hair."

"Yeah," I breathed, continuing to brush my fingers through his waves.

His eyes caught mine, and I became lost in his gaze, mesmerized by how his pupils kept dilating. My lips parted with wonder, awe, and intrigue, and I suddenly wished to kiss him with my hands in his hair, wondering if his lips were as soft as his hair.

My cheeks harkened a dreadful pink color, but I couldn't stop the imagery of a possible kiss.

Gnawing on my lip, my eyes trailed down to his nose, his chin, then back up slightly to his lips. Surely, we could kiss. That's what people who liked each other did; kiss. Especially on dates, and we were on one. We were on a—

"Excuse me."

I jumped, startled, and immediately blurted, "We're on a date!"

The waitress who just announced herself laughed awkwardly, holding out the dessert menu. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"I'm—I'm so sorry," I supplemented, embarrassed. "I was surprised, and I was thinking about something, and I just—I—" I looked away with rapid blinks, successfully humiliated. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, seriously, there's no need to apologize," she followed up quickly. "I was kind of interrupting." She placed the menus on our table. "You can take some time to look through the options, and I'll circle back in a few minutes."

When she left, I couldn't bring myself to look at Yoongi.

"What is it?" he asked. "Why are you embarrassed?"

"I was rude," I said with downcast features.

"You said what you said out of surprise," he countered. "You weren't rude; you were stating a fact."

I rubbed my temples before burying my face in my hands with a great, big sigh. "So embarrassing."

"I don't think it was embarrassing."

"You're...are you just saying that because we're on a date?"

"No." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I am not just saying that because we're on a date."

"Oh. Well..." I peeked at him through my fingers. "That's really great." I slowly lowered my hands from my face. "Do you think that I...embarrassed her?" Worriedly, I tapped my fingers together. "Should I apologize again? And leave a big tip?"

"I don't think that's necessary."

"But...I can, right? Leave a big tip?"

"I had already planned to leave a tip," he told me. "You don't need to."

I paused, slightly distressed. "You're not going to let me pay."

His smile inched up a bit although he tried to hide it. "Jin said you might not agree with that decision."

"Well, Jin was right," I huffed. "I'm going to leave her a big tip and pay for the food."

"You can leave her a tip," he agreed. "But my tip will be separate from yours, and I will be paying for the food."

I thought hard, eventually coming up with, "I don't want dessert."

"You do not?"

"No," I confirmed. "No dessert."

"Are you...upset with me?"

"I don't want dessert," I repeated. "And I...have to use the bathroom."

Quickly, I stood and hurried inside before he could say anything. Once inside, I looked around frantically for the waitress. Catching sight of her near other employees, laughing and chit-chatting, I gathered all the social cues I knew and hurried over.

"Excuse me?" I asked tentatively, lifting my hand in a little wave.

Their talking died down, and as they each said a polite greeting, my waitress wondered, "Are you ready to order dessert?"

"Oh! Well, yes," I confirmed, nodding quickly. "But I also wanted to pay for it ahead of time. Like...right now. Can I do that?"

"What for?" she asked, confused.

"Well..." I chewed my lip with determination. "I'm always taken care of during dates, but I want to take care of my dates, too. This time, I want to pay." Hopefully, I wondered again, "Can I?"

"Awww," a few of the workers chorused, making me blush.

My waitress beamed. "He seems like a nice guy, but he won't let you pay, huh? No worries." She leaned in as if telling me a secret, and I buzzed happily, the action making me feel included. "I've got you covered."

I beamed. "Thank you! And also, I'm...I'm really sorry if I came across rude earlier. I was thinking about how he and I were on a date, and then I just said it out loud." I winced. "I'm going to give you a big tip, okay?"

She and the workers laughed, and I withered, wondering if they were laughing at me and not with me. I was put at ease when she said, "I appreciate that, but you don't have to do that just because you feel bad." She winked. "I'll still take the tip though."

I giggled, relieved. "I'll still give it to you, then."

"Thank you," she said with a grin, and turning to her station, she pulled out a pad with our bill. "What are you both getting for dessert?"

"Oh. I..." I paused. "I hadn't thought about that. Well...what's the most expensive thing?"

She told me, and I said, "We'll have two of those, and if we buy something else, you can just keep the change."

She grinned. "Sure thing."

After I paid, she said she would be out in a few minutes to give Yoongi and me time to order, and I hurried back to him.

He looked concerned when I returned to my seat, and I noted how he kept wiping his palms on his slacks.

"Is everything all right?" he asked, the crease in his forehead prominent. "Jin did not tell me this would cause such an upset, and I apologize."

"What?" I stammered. "No! I'm not mad at you. I'm so sorry—I should've said that, but I was busy with...something." I sat up straighter. "Anyway, what's for dessert?"

He watched me carefully, confused. "You...you said you did not want dessert."

"I changed my mind," I chirped. "You can get whatever you want, and it can be super expensive; even the most expensive thing on the menu."

He paused. "I...am not sure why you changed your mind after using the bathroom, and you seem much happier even though I am still paying."

I squirmed in my seat, proud of my plan. "Okay."

He considered me, my movements, then me again. "Okay?"

"Yeah," I decided. "Okay." Giddy from my plan, I peeked over to the restaurant's entrance to see if I could spot the waitress. "We should hurry up and get dessert before the waitress comes back."

"Ah...yes." He lifted his dessert menu. "I suppose we should." Clearing his throat, he questioned, "What would you like?"

Feeling excited enough to stray from my usual comfort zone, something that didn't occur often if ever, I decided, "Whatever you're having."

"Really?" He nodded to himself, using my reveal to decide what he would choose. "Then...I would like the Neapolitan ice cream."

I perked up. "I like that ice cream."

"I know. It is your favorite because it has three different flavors."

"Yeah! You—" I sighed contentedly. "Yeah."

"We'll have two servings of ice cream, then."

"Okay!" I watched as he folded the menu closed. "Can we have it in fancy bowls so I can take a picture to show Jungkook? And...maybe they'll add a cherry on top. Jungkook likes cherries on top."

"You don't," he pointed out.

"I know," I agreed. "But I want to try."

He paused to consider. "Faeryn, you seem..." He hesitated. "What is it that Namjoon said pertaining to Lyric?"

I thought with him. "Which time?"

"In the break room," he revealed. "I believe it was...ah, yes. Scheming. You seem like you're scheming."

I blushed. "I'm not scheming. I just...I made a plan in my mind."

"Would you like to share your plan with me?"

"Oh. Well, I can't."

"May I ask why not?"

"Yeah, you can ask." I waited patiently.

His lips quirked, and his beautiful, rare smile peeked through. "Why not?"

"Because if I did," I explained, "my plan wouldn't work."

"Ah. I understand." The breeze ruffled his hair in a cinematic sort of way. "When will your plan run its course so you can tell me about it?"

"Maybe..." I pursed my lips. "After we leave." I beamed. "I don't really make plans."

"Will you do it more often now?"

"I don't know," I admitted, and with a giggle, I concluded, "But it's fun."

He tilted his head as he looked at me, and I was delighted when his smile remained. "Yes," he said momentarily, more to himself than to me. "You make happiness look beautiful."

My blush spread, and the happiness within me swirled into the air around us. I never wanted it to leave.

"You make me happy, too," I said around the butterflies in my stomach, struggling to maintain eye contact with him.

"Do I?" Again, he sounded surprised.

"Yes," I said, indignant that he thought otherwise. "It makes me happy when you smile, when you show me music, when you listen to my make-believe Bunny and Mr. Stuffin's stories, when  you text me about your dreams, and when I see that you're comfy in your hoodies." I looked at his formal wear dreamily. "I like the clothes you wore today, though. They make me happy, too."

"That..." He swallowed around disformed words in his throat, taking a moment to fix them and their structure before releasing them. "That is very kind."

"You're very kind."

"I try to be."

"I don't think you have to try," I said with a sure nod. "You just are."

"Thank you," he said softly. "As are you."

"Oh!" I squirmed happily. "Really? I like that you said I'm kind; it makes me happy."

"What else makes you happy?"

"Dinosaurs," I gushed. "And crocheting, and going on dates with you and the others, and—and well, I—I don't know!" I lifted my hands and dropped them back onto my lap, clasping them tightly as I struggled to remain seated, feeling like I would jump up and down to release the energy building within me.

I swayed side to side in my seat. "I feel like I'm going to just explode."

"That is a good thing?"

I nodded quickly. "It happens when I'm really happy, and I feel happiness too much sometimes, but it's okay because I feel sadness just as much, so it balances itself out, and Jimin said that's what life is about—feeling as much as you can."

I kept nodding, now starting to add a little hum to my movements. "I'm happy, Yoongi. I can't wait to eat ice cream with you."

His features softened.  "I cannot wait to eat ice cream with you, too, Faeryn." He paused and cast a glance toward the ocean. "Why don't we ask if they will let us take our bowls and walk on the sand? Would that make you happy?"

My eyes lit up. "Can we?"

"Yes, of course. I will ask when the waitress returns."

I clapped my hands together, once again struggling to remain seated, and in an attempt to ease the energy, I stood once, flapped my hands around, and sat back down.

"Do you want to hold hands again?" he asked. "You can squeeze as tightly as you would like; it will act as an outlet for what you're feeling."

"Oh! Yes, please."

I accepted his upturned hand and squeezed tightly, swinging my legs as we waited for the waitress. When she arrived, I waved excitedly, pausing when I realized I must have looked silly, and slowly brought my fist to my mouth. Rapping my knuckles against my lips, I watched her stop in front of us.

"Are we ready to order?" she asked, sharing a wink with me. I beamed.

"We are," Yoongi confirmed. "We had a request, but we understand if it can't be honored."

"Oh, I'll make it happen," she responded. "What did you need?"

"Thank you very much," he said genuinely. "We would like to order the Neapolitan ice cream in your fanciest bowls, two cherries on top, and if possible, be allowed to walk on the beach with them. We would return them, of course, and if needed, I can pay extra or even the cost of the bowls."

"Don't worry about it," she denied his offer to pay with a tongue click. "I'll get your ice cream in the fanciest bowls we have with two cherries on top and let you out the back entrance to walk. As a matter of fact, you can keep the bowls."

Yoongi looked surprised. "Are you sure? I don't want you to get in trouble on our account."

"I won't," she assured him. "Seriously. No one will notice the bowls are gone, and if they do, it doesn't matter. We're upgrading to a different bowl, so we won't even be using these anymore. You're doing us a favor by taking them."

"Ah. I see. Well, in that case, we will take the bowls." He looked at me. "Would you like to take the bowls, Faeryn?"

I nodded at both of them, still humming to myself in my happy bubble.

"Then we will," he told her. "Thank you again."

"Sure!"

"I assume you will bring the check with you so we can pay?"

"Sure, sure," she said, and when my eyes widened in confusion, she put a hand over her mouth and pointed out toward the ocean. "What's that?"

Yoongi turned to look, but when I went to do the same, I caught the waitress' eyes to see her mouth, "Don't worry. Trust me."

I nodded with a relieved smile, and to Yoongi, she said, "You missed it! There was something really cool. Anyway, I'll be back!"

She walked away, leaving Yoongi rather confused and me very excited.

"We're going to get fancy bowls," I exclaimed. "Can I give mine to Jungkook? He'll like it so much."

"Then, you can keep mine."

"But it's yours!"

"I won't use it, but you will," he told me. "If you keep it, you and Jungkook can have matching bowls."

"But what about you?" I faltered. "Maybe I should keep the bowl so you and I can have matching bowls."

"It's all right. Whatever you decide, we'll do."

I flicked my fingers with indecision. "I don't know."

"Try not to stress about it; we will figure it out."

"Mm...okay." I sidled closer to him. "Can we hold hands on the beach?"

"I would like that."

"Yes! Me too."

I released a tremulous sigh and looked at his shoulder longingly.

"What is it?" he murmured.

"I...I want to lay my head on your shoulder."

"Oh. Yes, you—" He nodded, slightly flustered. "You can if you would like to."

"I like to," I responded eagerly, and taking a deep breath in preparation, I wrapped my arm around his and lay my head on his shoulder.

He was warm, and his dress shirt was smooth against my cheek, making me nuzzle against him with appreciation.

He was tense and unsure, and I looked down at the hand not holding mine twitching on his lap. Carefully, I reached for it, and with both his hands in my possession, I held on tight. His twitching subsided, his tension began to ease, and he leaned his head to the side to brush mine. The slight touch caused electricity to spark within me, and I shivered, lifting my head to nudge it against his to return the favor.

When the waitress returned with our bowls and spoons, I thanked her profusely and accepted my bowl eagerly. It was so pretty, and when she took a picture of me after I found enough courage to ask before she left, I showed my best smile. It wasn't too hard when Yoongi's heat was radiating into me.

"Here's the check," she announced as she placed it on our table. "Have a good rest of your night!"

She winked at me again, and I giggled, waving at her as she left.

Yoongi looked down at the check and lifted the pen to fill out the information, but he paused when he viewed the information. Squinting, it took him a moment to conclude, but when he did, he slowly lifted his eyes to mine.

"You paid," he stated. "When you went to the bathroom."

I nodded happily, overjoyed that my plan had worked.

His forehead creased. "Faeryn."

"No one lets me pay," I told him. "So you can't be mad at me; I just wanted to pay, and I did, so there's nothing you can do now."

His fingers strummed against the already completed check, and a short exhale left his lips. He looked over it again, and concerned, he turned to me once more to let me know, "The ice cream was not this expensive."

"Oh! Yeah." I shrugged. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I paid for the most expensive item just in case you wanted it."

"You paid for it..." He squinted again. "Twice."

"Yeah," I admitted. "Just in case I wanted what you were having, and I did, and now we're both having Neapolitan ice cream." I nodded encouragingly. "Good, right? With cherries."

He released my hand to retrieve his wallet from his slack pocket, and my eyes widened with dismay.

"No," I said quickly. "You—you can't pay because I already did. It's against the rules!"

"If I ask," he returned, "they will issue a refund to your card and take my payment instead."

"No, you can't!" I sat up straight proudly. "I used cash."

"You're carrying this much cash with you?"

"So I could pay for dinner."

He slowly returned his wallet to his pocket. "This was not supposed to happen."

"But I'm having fun," I entreated. "And that's what you wanted, right?"

"Well...yes," he admitted. "That is true, but I had planned to pay."

"So did I," I said cheekily. "And only one of us did—all because of my first-ever plan!" I squealed mischievously, and in my excitement, I hugged his arm tightly before standing. "Let's go walk on the beach now!"

"Next time," he said slowly. "I will pay."

"Next time," I agreed, "And then the time after that, I will pay. Equal share, please?"

A smile began to prompt its way to his lips. "Do I have a choice in the matter?"

"No," I said sneakily. "I'll just make up another plan."

"Ah." He shook his head with a chuckle as he looked out to the ocean. "What will Jin have to say about this?"

"Uh...he can't pay either," I said, although now I was uncertain. "And he can't pay me back. I'll...I'll deny his bank request if he tries!"

"Although an admirable attempt on your part, he'll find a way to pay you back."

"Admirable attempt," I echoed, then beamed. "I like that."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I like the way you say things; it's so nice."

"I...I did not know that."

"Well, it's true!" I put my hand out. "Can we walk on the beach now? Quick; before our ice cream melts!"

He took my hand once he stood, and leaving the check on the table, he led me to the back area the waitress instructed us to go through.

"We get to keep the spoons too," I said as I ate my ice cream. "Oh! I have an idea. Why don't we keep the spoons, and Jungkook can have my bowl? That way, you and I can still match."

He smiled. "That is a good idea. Would you like the bowl?"

"Mm...no, because it doesn't seem fair to take it from you, so you keep it, okay?"

"It doesn't seem fair to keep it on my side of things either, and since you paid tonight, please take the bowl."

I thought very hard. "Well...I guess that would be okay."

"Yes. I agree."

"But we can share it," I made sure he knew. "If you ever want to use it."

"Thank you."

I nodded good-naturedly. "And we can hold hands once we're done with our ice cream."

"We can."

We walked side by side on the sand, holding our bowls and each other's hands once we ate our ice cream.

Everything felt...right. Being with Yoongi was serene, and all of my thoughts could be quiet with his. We fit, melding together quietly, contentedly, and wondrously.

The fireworks in my stomach began to calm to spontaneous bursts before they simmered lowly while I watched Yoongi watch the horizon.

He appreciated the view as I appreciated him, and I clung to his hand, sweaty or not because it was his, and I was so happy I could hold it.

As the sun set, we sat near the waves as families packed up for home, but I had a part of my home with me.

"Yoongi?" I whispered.

He dipped his chin, silently letting me know he was listening.

"Are we friends?" I asked.

He looked at me. "We are. Friends."

"I..." I nodded slowly. "Okay. I was just asking because, well, I'm friends with the others, but I also..." I blush. "I also kiss them too, and...other stuff. Are we that kind of friend, too?"

Flustered, he turned back to the ocean. His throat bobbed once, twice, and he took a labored breath.

When he didn't respond, my fireworks dimmed. Quietly, I offered, "I'm sorry for asking."

"No, it's—no, it is just a difficult question for me."

"Oh." I nodded as I tried to understand. "A difficult question."

"I...I haven't been with someone for a very long time, and I was younger, then. Right when I began struggling with..." He winced. "Depression, and I'm afraid I don't have what you need."

"What I need?" I wondered, confused. "What do I need?"

"I don't wish to bring you down," he explained, subdued. "The others lift you up, and I have seen how they quickly lift your spirits. I am afraid I do the opposite."

My heart dropped. "Why do you think that?"

"I see you smiling, but when you see me off on my own, your smile dims. You reach where I'm sitting, and your smile is gone."

"I don't have to be smiling to be happy," I negated strongly, upset. "And I get to decide who I'm happy with. I'm happy with and around you, and I don't need to smile to prove it."

"I apologize," he said quickly. "I did not mean to upset you."

I hugged my knees to my chest and stared resolutely at the water tickling my ankles. "That wasn't fair of you to assume."

"I...I apologize."

I glanced at him before returning my focus to the sand. "Do you remember when I told you about my grandmother and how she didn't smile when she was at the beach?"

"I remember."

"The beach was her happy place, but still, she didn't smile. I didn't get it back then, but I think I get it now." I shifted closer to him, and he stiffened slightly, unsure. Pushing my hands into the sand, I exhaled my explanation, "Sometimes, when you're at peace, you don't smile, but you don't frown. You just are. And that's what I get to be with you, Yoongi. I get to just be, and that makes me so happy. Even if," I iterated strongly, "my facial expression doesn't show it."

His features tightened. "You are at peace with me." He shook his head slowly, unbelieving. "I don't understand."

"You're comforting, and I...I like being quiet with you. I like sitting and listening to music and just...being without having to speak." I glanced at him. "Your depression doesn't scare me."

He looked at me then, allowing me to view the emotion working in his eyes and how his throat tightened with it. "It has scared others way. Old friends didn't stay, and though they were never obliged to, I regret not knowing how to heal myself quicker so they could have remained."

"But if...if they didn't stay, they were never really your friends," I said with knitted brows. "Taehyung said that the friends who are supposed to find you will find you, and I...I think maybe it's the same for friends who will stay. Maybe there's nothing we can do to keep the friends who were always going to leave."

His features scrunched, and he pushed out a wavering smile laced with pain. "You asked me if I was your boyfriend, and I spoke of my depression."

"Don't be mean to yourself," I scolded, upset again. "It's not nice. Besides, I don't mind if you talk about it because I like you and want you to feel better, so if talking about it helps, then you should talk about it." I nodded determinedly. "I'm a good listener."

"Thank you," he said softly.

I held my hand out above the sand. "We can...we can hold hands if you want to."

He held my hand, and I held his.

"Yoongi," I said quietly after a few minutes of silence passed. "I want you to be my boyfriend if...if you want to, and if you're scared, it's okay, but please don't be scared that I'll leave because of your depression. It's something you struggle with, and you've helped me when I struggle, so why would I ever leave you?"

He turned slightly, causing me to shift with him. "This was not how it was supposed to happen."

"What?" I managed.

"I was supposed to pay for dinner, and afterward, I would formally ask you to be my girlfriend."

"Oh." I turned red. "I...I didn't know that."

"Yes. Well. I had my own version of a plan for tonight, but it seems yours has succeeded."

I squeaked, "Sorry."

"That is all right. I quite enjoy when you succeed, and it made you very happy." Cautiously, he wondered, "Are you still happy though you are not smiling?"

I nodded quickly. "I'm still happy."

His shoulders slumped slightly with relief. "That is good to hear."

"You were worried?" I questioned. When he nodded, I wondered, "Do you feel a little better because you talked about it?"

"Yes. A little better."

"Oh," I said with rapid nods. "That's really great." I paused before deciding, "I think I shouldn't have scolded you like that, so I'm sorry."

"I needed it," he responded with a small smile. "Don't apologize."

"Needed to be scolded," I whispered, starting to smile with him.

Inching closer to him, I wondered, "Can I lay my head on your shoulder again?"

He offered his shoulder to me, and taking the hint, I laid my head on it and took a deep breath.

"Better," I decided.

"Faeryn."

I blinked up at him. "Yes?"

"Although I am not as...skilled as the others are with dating and the dynamics that follow, I..." His cheeks donned a shade of maroon. "I would very much like to be your boyfriend." He positioned himself to face me, and I hurried to copy his actions to face him, too. "I care about you tremendously, and I want to be more to you; I want to learn more about you, spend more time with you, and hold you if you'll allow me."

"Yes," I breathed out, reeling with excitement. "I—yes, I want that."

He smiled cautiously, the sight laced with hope. "You do?"

"Yes," I confirmed quickly. "Yes, yes; I want you to be my boyfriend. You...you want that, too?"

"Very much."

"Very much," I repeated, unable to hide my thrill.

We looked at each other.

"Yoongi?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"Does this mean...we're dating?"

"I hope it does, Faeryn, yes."

"Then...it does." I tilted my head. "Right? If we say it does."

"Yes." His soft smile returned. "If we say it does."

"And we do." I smiled tentatively, brimming with hope. "We do?"

"We do."

"Oh, good," I breathed out. "That's really great."

His head followed the tilt that had become mine. "Faeryn, I love when you say that."

Confused, I wondered, "Say what?"

"That's really great," he explained. "I love when you say that."

I blushed. "I...I say that a lot?"

"You do."

"Sometimes I repeat things," I revealed, slightly embarrassed. "I hope that's okay."

"It is," he confirmed. "Very okay. And now that we are dating, and even before, I hope to hear you repeat things for a very long time." He paused. "I hope that does not pressure you; it is not my intent."

"A very long time," I echoed, absolutely relieved that he wanted to be around me just as long as I wanted to be around him, although I didn't reveal that I wanted him and me to be around each other forever. Not yet, at least. Maybe when we'd been dating for a little while longer so I didn't pressure him. "I like a very long time."

"And I like when you repeat things, just as you repeat songs. Does repeating things make you happy?"

"Repeating songs does," I agreed amicably. "But repeating words and phrases is because of echolalia. I don't mean to do it," I revealed bashfully. "It just happens."

"I've heard of that," he said thoughtfully. "Then...who do you repeat when you say 'that's really great'?"

I started to smile. "Myself. My mom showed me a video she took of me when I was three, a few months after I'd started talking, and I pushed my thumb up and said in a lisp, 'That's really great!'." I laughed a bit. "She showed it to me when I was older, maybe six, and I couldn't remember being three, and I thought I was so funny, so I kept repeating it, and I never stopped."

"That is a very nice memory to have."

"Yeah," I agreed, my tone softening at the recollection of my mother. "It is." I looked at him brightly. "But so is this one."

"This one?"

"Mhm! The one where you and me are sitting on the beach after we started dating."

His smile matched mine. "Yes. That is a very nice memory to have, too." His hand inched closer to mine, and our fingers brushed beneath the sand. "I would like to make many more memories with you, Faeryn."

"Me too," I confirmed headily. "I want to make a lot of memories with you, too."

"Then we will. Because we said."

I beamed. "Because we said."

Our fingers interlaced beneath the sand, and as the ocean's waves greeted our ankles, the side of my knee brushed his as I turned with a sharp inhale. He turned to meet my sudden motion and took quiet note of where my attention rested on his lips. His eyes widened slightly, barely noticeable, but I noticed. His pupils dilated, I noticed again, and his throat bobbed as he recognized he held my full attention.

I whispered his name, the sound nearly carried away with the wind, but he heard me. It seemed he noticed me as I noticed him.

He said my name just as quietly, and as the sun set around us, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him—to know what he tasted like, how soft his lips were, and to touch his hair and hold his face when my lips met his.

A quiet, plaintive sound left me, and his eyes darted across my face as his fingers twitched within mine.

"Faeryn," he spoke quietly, his voice laced with caution and a similar tint of need that mine contained. "What is it?"

"I...I don't know how to ask," I whispered, shivering when the breeze swept through me and his fingers tightened around mine simultaneously.

"That's all right," he murmured. "Would you...perhaps you would know how to ask if you signed it."

I paused before nodding eagerly.

"Okay," he confirmed. "I will respond via sign then, too."

Taking a deep breath, I stored air in my cheeks and only released it once I signed, "Can we kiss?"

He understood; I thought he did by the way his features tightened as his hold on me did. Slowly, his free hand lifted to sign in response. I held my breath even after he signed, "Yes, we can kiss." He added via sign, "If you want to."

I could barely breathe, and the breeze felt so nice, and I felt so at peace whilst bursting into flames from deep within.

"Kiss?" I signed. "Now? I want to. Do you want to?"

He swallowed roughly, and when he spoke, I was surprised at how deep his voice was. How gravelly. "I want to kiss you," he confirmed. "I have wanted to for a while."

That was all I needed, more than enough, and I whimpered as I slowly inched my face closer to his. He followed at the same pace, and it took a while until our lips were a simple touch away.

The tension burned between us, and when my eyes flickered up to his to see the need burning within them, I whimpered and pressed a gentle kiss to his upper lip, quick and careful. He returned the favor to my bottom lip, and I was right; his lips were as soft as I thought they would be, and I was as afraid of sinking into them as much as I wanted to.

"Yoongi," I whispered. "Please?"

He inhaled shortly, and gently tilting my chin to the side, he eased our lips together. Softly. Tenderly. He kissed me.

Melting into him, the sensations made me spin. The water's constant rise from my feet to my ankles, the cold breeze from the approaching night, his hand on my face and the other holding mine, and his lips, perfectly soft, on mine.

He was a dream. One that I never wanted to wake from. And his lips were the kindest melody. I never wanted to stop listening.

We kissed as the sun set, our bowls and spoons tucked safely in the sand beside us, and our attention on no one else but ourselves.

I wasn't sure who pulled away first, but we were calm as we looked at each other with only a small distance between our lips. His nose brushed mine, and mine did the same before lingering on his cheek. My lips were next to follow, and for the next few minutes, we spent time kissing every part of each other's faces. Tenderly, we took our time, intertwined with something that felt a lot like peace.

We didn't have to say anything, but every time we looked at each other, it felt like we had never stopped speaking. I didn't have to speak with him—I didn't even have to sign. I could read his eyes, and he could read mine. It was a relief to be understood without striving to be.

When it was completely dark with the moon shining above us, we walked hand in hand back to his car.

Neither of us could stop smiling.

Notes:

Faeryn and Yoongi are so soft together ☹️🫂 I love them so much <33

Chapter 29: Finding Love in Coffee Shops With You

Summary:

*WEEKLY BONUS CHAPTER*
Faeryn talks with her seven men about "forever", and later, her MRI results are revealed over a shaky cup of coffee with Jin, one of the seven men she desperately wants to confess her feelings for.

Notes:

*BONUS CHAPTER*
I wanted to give everyone a little early Christmas present, so here's an extra update! I hope you like it, and to everyone who celebrates, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!! I'll tell you again on Tuesday, Christmas Eve hehe🎄🎁

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"Faeryn!" Taehyung exclaimed when I walked through the front door. He left the couch quickly, surprised and excited to see me. "I didn't know you were coming over."

I waved happily, giggling when he swept me into his arms. "Hi!"

"Hi!" he repeated, beaming as he set down after twirling me a few times. "How was your date with Yoongi?"

I sighed contentedly. "Really great."

Yoongi closed the front door, smiling slightly as he stopped beside me. "How was your night, Taehyung?"

"Great!" Taehyung chirped, smiling wider at the sight of Yoongi's peaceful smile. "It seems like yours was, too."

"Yes," Yoongi confirmed, glancing down at me when I slipped my hand into his for a quick squeeze. Again, softer, he said, "Yes."

Content with Yoongi's answer and the sight of our intertwined hands, Taehyung said cheerily, "Good! You both deserve it."

I beamed along with him. "Thank you!" I sighed happily. "My best crochet buddy."

He grinned. "Your best crochet buddy."

From the couch—with his face half-buried in Namjoon's side—Jungkook peeked over, squinted, and wondered, "What is that?"

I released Yoongi's hand to let him handle our bowls with ease, and when he handed them to me, I smiled up at him before hurrying to Jungkook.

"Hi," I greeted happily. "Yoongi and I have something very special for you."

He clutched Namjoon's shirt tightly as he lifted his face curiously. "Really?"

"Yes! Here; for you." I held out the bowl to him. "It's from the restaurant, the really fancy one, and the waitress let us keep it."

Jungkook's eyes widened with wonder. "I can keep it?"

"Yeah!" I handed it to him, watching as he held it carefully. "Yoongi and I are sharing the other one. Plus, you can have this spoon." I put one into his bowl. "It's also from the restaurant."

He handled it with care as he turned it side to side, taking in all of the details with wonder. Suddenly, he lifted his gaze to mine, and confused, he asked, "Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you like fancy restaurants, and it's from a fancy restaurant," I explained with a giddy smile. "Well, do you—do you like it? I thought you would like it."

"Yeah, I—I really like it," he said headily. "It's so fancy. I...but I thought you would want to keep it because it's so nice."

"Yoongi and I are sharing the other one," I reiterated. "So don't worry! You can have this one."

He hesitated and looked up at Namjoon for approval. The latter smiled, amused, and passed his hand through Jungkook's hair.

"It's all right, bub," he assured fondly. "You can take it."

Jungkook nodded slowly, peeked back up at me, and smiled shyly. "Thank you, Faeryn." He looked over at Yoongi. "Thank you, Yoongi."

We both dismissed his thanks, and swaying side to side, I couldn't stop smiling as Jungkook traced the bowl's designs.

He looked back at me, and bashfully, he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Leaning down, I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. It was quick, how I let my tongue glide over his, and even quicker how my fingers tangled in his waves to offer caresses while we kissed.

When I pulled away, he looked up at me longingly, and swooning, I offered him another kiss.

"What did you have for dinner, honey?" Jimin asked once Jungkook and I pulled away from our kiss, flushed and wanting.

Swallowing as I tried to reign myself back in, it took me a moment to recall amid the blood pounding my ears from Jungkook's lips, but I managed to remember, "Pasta, and Yoongi let me have some of his chicken and Gamja Jorim."

"How nice of him," Jimin praised, earning a small smile from Yoongi. 

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Jin asked me. 

I nodded quickly. "So much. Yoongi and I had so much fun, and now we're—" I broke myself off with a blush. "Well, we're..." Whispering, I concluded, "Boyfriend and girlfriend now."

"Aw, honey, are you?" Jimin prompted, his tone making me squirm in my spot. "Does that make you happy?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation, my eyes wide as I gave another nod. "Really happy."

"That makes us very happy to hear, sweetheart," Hoseok said softly. "Why don't you come take a seat? Hm? Right beside me."

I began to do so eagerly before I paused, and hesitating, I swiveled around on my heels to face Yoongi. "Are you going to stay with everyone? In the living room? Or...maybe you need time to recharge alone?"

"I can change," he returned in a murmur. "But being with you was recharging enough; I'll be right back out."

"Oh, you—you will? And I...I recharged you?" Swaying from side to side again, unsure what else to do with the constant giddiness, I managed, "That's really great."

A few chuckles sounded from the others, and burning up, I squeaked and ran for cover on the couch with Hoseok. My actions only earned more chuckles from them, and I hid my face in Hoseok's shirt as I struggled to catch my breath.

Yoongi smiled as he pivoted to walk to his room to change, and as he did, Hoseok ran his hand through my hair, kissing my cheek as he wondered, "Do you want to change into something comfier? You have a pair of pajamas here."

"Mm..." I looked down at my dress, and lifting the fabric slightly, I peeked into his face. "Pretty?"

"Very pretty, sweetheart." He tilted my chin up to bestow a firm kiss on my lips. "Beautiful."

"Yeah, Faeryn," Jungkook agreed eagerly, his voice muffled by Namjoon's shirt. "You're really pretty, and so is your dress. Really fancy."

Jimin chuckled. "Jungkook loves anything fancy, hm? And you do look beautiful, honey. Very sweet."

"Are those strawberries on your dress?" Taehyung wondered as he took the seat beside me. "Oh, they are." He nodded, pleased with the reveal. "So cute."

From the other side of Hoseok, Jin rumbled his agreement, "It suits you very well, Faeryn."

"It does," Namjoon agreed, a flicker of amusement in his eyes when he added, "Your blush matches the strawberries."

His words only made my blush grow, and I squirmed as heat flashed through me at the assortment of compliments from everyone present.

"Oh, poor thing," Jimin sympathized. "We're riling her up."

"It's all right, sweetheart," Hoseok said with a chuckle, rubbing comfort into my back. "I'm sure you're already feeling a little riled up from your date with Yoongi, hm? It must have been exciting to go on a date with him and come back as girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Yeah," I agreed, clutching his shirt for solace. "And I—well, we even..." Slightly shy but wanting to share my exciting news, I whispered, "We kissed."

"Oh, did you?" Jimin prompted. I nodded eagerly. "How sweet. Did it make you feel nice?"

"Really nice," I revealed quickly. "And we walked on the beach while we ate our ice cream, and he said that he wants to be with me for a long time, and I want to be with him for a long time, too." Looking at all of them, I sighed tremulously. "I want to be with all of you for a long time. A really, really, long, long time."

Fondness filled everyone's features after I spoke, and Jungkook was quick to breathily agree, "We can; for that long, and...and maybe even longer." He looked at Namjoon again, awaiting his agreement.

"Mhm," Namjoon responded, kissing the tip of Jungkook's nose. Looking over at me, his handsome, fond smile appeared to make my stomach swoop with eagerness. "For as long as she'll have us."

"Have you?" I echoed, dumbfounded. "I...I want you to have me. For...for—" I hesitated. "I don't want to scare you away, so I won't say for how long I want you to have me, but...I want to stay with all of you for as long as you'll let me. If...if that's okay."

"Sweetheart," Hoseok murmured. "You can tell us anything. Okay? You won't scare us away."

Tentatively, I wondered, "Are you sure? You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

"You know I wouldn't do that." He caressed my cheek gently. "I wouldn't lie to you; none of us would."

"Okay," I said slowly, chewing on my lip anxiously until he gently tugged it away from my teeth. 

"It's okay," he repeated softly. "It's just us."

His words soothed me, and carefully, I glanced around at the others, and the pure comfort exuding from their familiar forms caused me to slump between Hoseok and Taehyung.

"That's it," Hoseok praised lowly. "Just relax. You can tell us anything, hm? Tell us all about whatever you'd like to say."

I shifted my hold on him to a tight grip of his arm, and clinging to him for comfort, I gauged everyone's expression before rushing out, "I know we won't be around forever, but for as long as we are, I want to stay, and I want—well, I hope—that you all want to stay for that long, too." 

Hurriedly, I added, "It's okay if you don't; you can tell me." I nodded quickly. "I can take it."

"You don't have to 'take' anything," Jin confused, his deep timbre flooding my senses. "Have we made you believe otherwise?"

"I..." I paused, thinking hard, and eventually concluded, "No, you...no. But I say it just in case."

"There will be no 'just in case' with us, Faeryn." His words were curt and final, but there was a kindness within them. "And if we haven't made it very clear that we want you for as long as you want us, then we apologize."

"Yeah," Jungkook breathed out, his doe eyes wide as he looked at me. "I'm sorry."

Namjoon squeezed his shoulder, and with a kiss on the top of his head, he prompted me, "What did I tell you the week before you left for your apartment?"

"You said..." I pursed my lips, struggling to decipher what he meant. "Well, you said..." My voice dipped. "I don't know."

"When you were taking a bath, Faeryn," he elaborated. "When it was you, Jin, Hoseok, and I."

Understanding, I nodded slowly as that night came rushing back, and the words he said to me that I so often contemplated left my lips in a whisper. "You said that you wanted more time with me. That you all wanted me here."

"My words," he said meaningfully, "still stand, and they will keep doing so for as long as our forever may be."

I choked up. "Really? You...you all want that?"

"Of course we do," Taehyung confirmed quickly. "Faeryn, we care about you—so much—and we don't want you to go anywhere unless it's what you want, and if you don't want to leave, then you have a home with us."

"Home?" I whispered, absolutely wrecked with hope and a deep-seated long. 

"Home," he agreed, his features softening when he saw how the word affected me. 

"You're—you're a part of my home," Jungkook said with flushed cheeks, determined to let his words be known. "And...and when you're not here, Faeryn, I feel like I'm missing something. But when you come back, it's like my home is..." He struggled to find the right word to convey himself, and once he found it, a timid smile met his lips. "Complete."

Complete.

My eyes filled with tears of relief, disbelief, and wonder. I made his home complete.

"Really?" I asked hopefully, just to make sure.

"Really," he agreed swiftly. "I really mean it."

"We all do," Namjoon added, his tone firm yet kind. "You complete our home. You complete us."

A single tear rolled down my cheek, but I was quick to wipe it away as I sniffled. 

"Faeryn," Taehyung murmured, squeezing my arm reassuringly. "It's okay."

"I know," I agreed tearfully. "It feels so okay that I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything," Hoseok returned gently. "You can just be."

"I can?" I whispered hopefully. "I can just be me? Just Faeryn?"

His tone was soft as he eased a few strands of hair away from my face. "Just Faeryn."

"I...I want that." A few more tears fell. "Please."

"You have it," Jin spoke firmly. "You will always have it with us."

"He's right," Namjoon confirmed. "A safe place to be yourself."

"And...and be with all of you," I breathed out. "Safe."

"Safe," he reiterated, his tone leaving no room for question and his eyes remaining level with mine. "With us."

A shuddered relief coursed through me, and I melted against Hoseok. "With you."

Jungkook spoke next, high-pitched and worried. "Why are you crying?"

I sniffled, failing to stop more tears from falling. "Because I'm just—I'm so"—a quiet sob left me—"happy."

Hoseok held me closer to him, pressing multiple kisses to the top of my head as he rubbed my arm reassuringly. "It's okay, sweetheart. You can let yourself feel it."

"Need you," I managed. 

"I'm right here," he soothed. "We all are."

"Need you," I repeated, burying my face in his arm and struggling to calm down. "I...I want to be this happy forever."

He kissed my head gently. "Even if you're not, sweetheart, we'll be there either way."

I choked up. "Really?"

"Of course," he murmured as everyone agreed. "No one can always be happy, so when you're not, we'll be there, and when you are, we'll be there, too. No matter what you feel, we'll be right there with you."

"And I want to be with all of you," I made sure he knew, nodding quickly into his arm. "Through all of your feelings, too, and when you're sad, I'll try to make you smile, and when you're happy, I'll try to make you laugh. I just—I want to be there for all of you, too."

He held me tighter. "Our sweet girl."

"Yours," I whispered, relieved. 

"Ours," Taehyung said firmly. 

Jungkook made a quiet sound of protest, and I heard his loud whisper to Namjoon, "I don't like when she cries."

"She's happy, bub," Namjoon spoke quietly in return. "She's okay."

"I know," Jungkook responded worriedly. "But she's crying because she hasn't been this happy for a while."

"But she's happy now," Namjoon reassured. "She's fine, hm? Don't worry."

"Yeah," I stammered, lifting my tear-stained face in an attempt to console him. "I'm okay. You all just make me so happy, and I feel too much sometimes, and I already felt like exploding with Yoongi, but now I—" I wiped my face hurriedly. "I really think I will."

"Deep breaths," Jin instructed me, then to Hoseok, "Put pressure on her chest."

"Come here," Hoseok murmured, arranging me on his lap. With his hand on my back, he eased us chest to chest and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

Immediately, the pressure grounded me, and my breath stammered multiple times before settling.

"There you go, honey," Jimin approved. "Keeping taking those deep breaths."

"I'm just happy," I said again, not wanting them to worry. "I'm—I'm okay."

"We know," Taehyung assured. "It's okay to cry, Faeryn, really. It's okay; you can."

"Thank you," I stammered. "I like you so much."

"I like you so much, too," he returned genuinely. "We all do."

I took a tremulous breath. "Thank you for liking me."

"Oh, shh, honey," Jimin chided lightly. "Don't thank us for that."

"I want to," I insisted, high-pitched although my tears had begun to slow. 

"We don't want you to," Jin commanded. "And you won't. Am I understood?"

I peeked over Hoseok's shoulder to look at Jin, and my lips turned downward in a regretful pout. "Sorry, Jin. Really sorry."

His features softened, and he leaned over, pinching my chin between his index and middle finger and offering a light, fond shake. "You don't have to apologize."

I sniffled. "Okay. I take it back then."

He chuckled, and with his hold on my chin, he leaned down and kissed me. It was softer than it usually was, and I sighed contentedly into it, grasping Hoseok's shirt while I moved my lips in time with Jin's.

When he pulled away, he cupped the side of my face and kissed my forehead, saying against it, "Thank you for telling us how you feel."

My features brightened. "I communicated."

"You did." His thumb caressed my cheek. "I'm very proud of you."

I buzzed on Hoseok's lap, and eagerly, I pushed my lips out for another kiss. Jin gave in easily, keeping my face cradled in his hands as he kissed me, his touch firm and kind.

By the time he pulled away, a natural blush had risen to my face and Yoongi had returned. He wore comfier attire, his usual black hoodie and sweatpants, but his forehead was creased as he looked at me.

He assessed the situation; my teary eyes, my proximity with Jin and Hoseok, and everyone else's subdued, fond expressions.

Turning to me, he asked in a concerned tone, "What is wrong?"

I swallowed around the emotion clogging my throat. "I exploded."

It took a moment for my words to register, but when they did, the lines in his forehead eased. "You're happy, Faeryn?"

I nodded, relieved he understood. 

Relieved himself, he nodded with me. "As Jimin told you before, it's okay to feel it. That is what life is for."

Jimin smiled softly, and at the remembrance of his words, a small smile tugged at my lips. 

"Look at that," Namjoon approved, a light tease to his words. "Jimin can be smart."

Jimin pushed the side of Namjoon's head lightly, earning laughter from him and a surprised squeak from Jungkook who was jostled by the movement.

I giggled through my tears, and with a sigh of relief, I fully relaxed against Hoseok.

"There," he praised, patting my back lightly. "Nice and relaxed."

"Nice and relaxed," I echoed quietly, sagging completely in his old. "And everyone's here." I nodded curtly to myself. "Better."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "We're all here, so you don't have to cry anymore."

"Jungkook," Jin spoke sternly. "She's allowed to cry."

He shrugged, and his voice dipped into a mumble. "I know, but I just don't like when she cries."

"None of us do," Jin confirmed. "But it's healthy to cry and allow yourself to feel things."

Jungkook shifted closer to Namjoon. "I know."

I was quick to defend him. "He's just worried because I was crying—even if they were happy tears—but I'm okay, Jungkook, really." I showed a wobbly smile. "All better."

Jungkook tried to nod, but Namjoon's grip on his face didn't allow it. He looked up at him in confusion, but when he read the stern expression Namjoon wore, his throat worked a few times before his gaze shifted back to Jin. 

"Sorry," he muttered. "For my tone."

Jin regarded him closely for a moment before speaking. "You're fine, but let's be aware of how we speak about crying. Let's not discourage tears—not when they're a healthy outlet for emotions, happy or sad. Yes?"

"Yes, Jin," he agreed, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," Jin concurred. "We can forget about it now; it's done."

Relieved, Jungkook nodded and smiled shyly at me, still gripping Namjoon's shirt as tightly as I gripped Hoseok's. 

Quickly, I scrambled off of Hoseok's lap and hurried to Jungkook. Taking the seat beside him, I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder.

"It's okay," I assured him. "Tears can be happy."

Jungkook hugged me back just as tightly, and he said into my shirt, "I don't like when you cry, but I know you need to do it sometimes—everybody needs to, so I won't tell you to stop when you cry anymore, I promise, so you can keep crying if...if you need to right now."

I patted his back, copying the way Hoseok had just patted mine, keeping it light and reassuring. "I don't feel like crying anymore, but thank you." I kissed his shoulder. "Best."

"Best?" 

"You're the best."

He nuzzled into me, and when I pulled away, I cupped his face and kissed him deeply.

"It's okay," I reiterated as my lips brushed his. "You're just really sweet, so you care when I cry, and that's okay, right?" I kissed his cheek, his nose, then his lips again. "That's okay."

Namjoon's expression spoke of his approval, and the next time I went to kiss Jungkook, Namjoon grasped my jaw and brought my lips to his. Although surprised at first, I fell into it quickly, squirming when Jungkook resituated and pulled me onto his lap, allowing me better access to Namjoon.

Into it, he spoke, his voice low and deep, laced with authority and dedication. "Who do you belong to?"

 A shiver tore through me, and when I tried to pull away to tell him, he brought my lower lip between his teeth and tugged, earning a quiet whimper from me.

"Who," he rasped, "do you belong to?"

"You," I managed, unsure if I was even breathing. "You and the others."

"That's right, Faeryn." As he pressed his lips wholly back to mine, Jungkook encircled his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly and kissing the back of my neck. "You belong to us."

"And you?" I tried.

His voice dipped. "Who do we belong to, Faeryn? Or do I need to tell you?"

Hopefully, I stammered, "Me?"

"Full sentences," Jin commanded, making me jolt in place on Jungkook's lap. 

Jungkook held me tighter, kissing me fervently as a consolation reward.

"You—you belong to me?" I tried again.

"Have we made you doubt otherwise?" was his rejoinder. 

"No, I just—" I struggled to focus as Jungkook and Namjoon showered me with attention. "I didn't want to be greedy, so I tried not to think of all of you as...mine."

"But that's what we are, sweetheart," Hoseok said firmly. "We're yours."

I struggled to remain upright in Jungkook's lap, quickly becoming overwhelmed with the attention I was receiving and what their words meant, and I pushed past Namjoon's lips and hid my face in his neck while Jungkook continued kissing mine.

"You're okay," he chuckled fondly, his hand lowering to warm my back. "Deep breaths. Are you feeling too much? Hm? Too happy?"

"Yeah," I managed, high-pitched and warbled. "Too happy."

"Poor thing," Jimin sympathized. "It's okay, honey. Let Namjoon keep you on his lap for a second—help you calm down a bit."

"Okay," I stammered. "Thank you. I like that we talked about this because now I'm even more happy."

"I know," he said, a smile in his tone. "Our sweet, happy girl, hm?"

A little whine left me at the title, and I kissed Namjoon's neck in an attempt to regulate.

"Let her breathe," Namjoon said, chuckling lowly as he scooted me from Jungkook's lap onto his. When he kissed the top of my head, causing my breath to hitch, he tightened his hold on me as his chuckles increased. "A little sensitive to touch right now, hm?"

I nodded dazedly.

He blew lightly on the shell of my ear, making me jolt and kiss his neck sloppily.

"So responsive," he praised, making my stomach swirl with anticipation.

Jimin cut in with low laughter. "I thought we were letting her rest."

"We are," Namjoon mused as he combed his fingers through my hair. "I was making a simple observation."

"How about we get you changed into your pajamas, sweetheart?" Hoseok prompted. "Would you like that? One of us helping you into some comfy pajamas?"

I nodded quickly, and eagerly, Jungkook piped up, "I can help her."

"You're a little hyper, no?" Jimin teased him. "I think you'll end up riling the two of you up." He sighed as he clicked his tongue. "You'll both be gone for a while, and when we go to check on you, you'll be kissing and grinding on her bed."

Jungkook turned a bright shade of pink. "Hyung," he whispered loudly, embarrassed. "I can handle myself."

"I don't think that's true, is it? How long did you last with Faeryn, three minutes? Less?"

"Leave him be," Namjoon chuckled, squeezing Jungkook's side fondly. "Let's have someone else help her get ready for bed tonight, bub."

"What?" Jungkook's voice raised a pitch. "You don't think I can do it?"

"I think," Namjoon responded, amused, "you're riled up from kissing her, and you'll end up in a similar situation as the one Jimin just made up."

 Jimin laughed at Jungkook's flushed cheeks, making the latter push further into the couch in an attempt to disappear.

"I'll help her," Taehyung said, already on his way to us. With a bright smile, he held out his hand to me. "Do you want me to?"

Still shaking the slightest bit, I pushed out a nod and reached for him with my face half-hidden in Namjoon's neck.

He eased me out of Namjoon's arms, and once in his, he cheerfully carried me up the stairs. "Be back!" 

I sighed contentedly, making myself busy by kissing his shoulder as thanks for helping me.

While he helped me change, my shaking began to subside, and the pressure of Mr. Stuffins on my chest helped regulate me. Back downstairs, everyone decided on a card game, and we were all laughing and enjoying ourselves before we even started—even Yoongi.

I kept rotating who I sat next to, usually after I jumped up and down with excitement when I drew a good card, and I was elated and content to be with them—especially when the alternative was alone in my apartment.

It was safe in my apartment, but not as safe as I felt with my home. I wondered if they would want me to live with them again like I wanted to live with them, but maybe they did. They had, after all, told me they wanted to be with me forever. Surely, in our forever, we would live together again. I just wasn't sure when, and I didn't want to cry again tonight, so I refrained from asking on the chance they would deny my want to live with them again.

Maybe I would ask any other day—a day that was further into our forever together so I would have time to gauge how they felt about it. Too much too soon couldn't have been good, so I would wait. I was good at waiting; I'd waited for so long for a home, after all, and here they were. I could wait to live with them again as long as I had them.

With a smile brimming with happiness, I lost the next round, but I didn't care. I had won so much more.

My home.

꧁꧂

 

A week later, I received my MRI results. I'd already received my sex health results, and they all came back clear, but I was nervous about the MRI results. I had them pulled up on my phone in my kitchen, half asleep in my clothes I'd fallen asleep in last night, and I'd forgotten to put socks on, so I was perched on my tip-toes near the fridge.

Cold, tired, and anxious, I catapulted myself from the kitchen back to bed, exited the results, and called Jin. His phone rang a few times, and I stared at my phone, afraid he wouldn't pick up, but right when I thought he wouldn't, he did.

His morning voice came through, gravelly and laced with rasp. "Hello?"

"Hi, Jin," I breathed out, relieved. "It's me; Faeryn."

He shifted around on the other end, and a low grunt left him. "Faeryn."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's Faeryn."

A moment passed, and I heard the familiar sound of him readjusting on his bed. Sounding half asleep himself, he asked, "Is everything all right?"

"Oh! Well, it is right now, but it couldn't be." I gnawed on my lip. "So that's why I called you."

He paused. "What do you mean 'it couldn't be'? Faeryn." He sounded further away from the phone, and I realized he must have stood up. "Do I need to come over there?"

"No, no, it's—it's okay," I assured him with wide eyes. "I just got the results for the MRI."

"The MRI," he repeated, took a moment, and confirmed, "The MRI for your nerve pain."

"Yeah, for my nerve pain."

"What do the results show?"

"Well, that's—so, that's why I called you," I revealed sheepishly. "I haven't looked yet."

"You're nervous," he concluded.

I nodded, now bundled back up in my blankets for warmth. "A little."

"That's fine." Clothes rustled on his side of the phone. "Why did they send the results at this time?"

Confused, I glanced at my bedside clock only for it to read 4:30 AM. I blushed intensely. "I'm—I'm so sorry. I didn't see the time. I just got the notification, and it woke me up, I thought it was time to have breakfast, but it was too cold, and I was too scared to look at the results, so now I'm back in bed and on the phone with you."

I heard his door open. "That's fine, Faeryn. You can always call me."

"Oh," I said, put more at ease. "Thanks, but I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"You can wake me up. I don't mind."

His door closed, and his key jangled.

Intrigued, I wondered, "Where are you going?"

"I'm not falling back to sleep, so I'm on my way to pick you up."

I squeaked in surprise. "Pick me up?"

"I'll take you for coffee, and we'll view the results together. Yes?"

"You're coming to pick me up?" I asked, still stuck on his first words. "But I'm not ready."

"I still need to wash my face and brush my teeth, but I'm dressed." He concluded, "You have twenty minutes."

With another squeak, this one born out of alarm, I jumped out of bed and raced into my bathroom on my tip-toes. "I—I look crazy," I told him. "I just woke up."

"I've seen you when you've just woken up," he returned. "You look beautiful and like you need several kisses to properly wake up."

I blushed, and shifting from foot to foot as I grabbed my toothbrush, I braved the question, "Are...are you going to kiss me when you come pick me up?"

"I am."

I shivered. "Okay. I'll kiss you back, okay?"

"I look forward to it, Faeryn, now put your phone down and brush your teeth."

My blush heightened, and with an embarrassed whine at how well he read me, I listened and brushed my teeth with a vengeance. 

"Jin," I said through a mouthful of toothpaste. "Are you brushing your teeth, too?"

He hummed his response.

"Oh," I said giddily. "We're doing the same thing at the same time."

"Mhm."

I envisioned him brushing his teeth while I brushed mine, and soon, I rinsed my mouth and began washing my face.

"Jin?" I dabbed my face with a towel. "Are you done?"

"I'm getting in my car now."

My eyes widened. "Really? You're—wow." I shook my head, astonished. "You're really fast. I just finished drying my face."

His low chuckle filled my ears. "Are you dressed?"

"Kind of," I peeped. 

"Explain 'kind of' for me."

"Well..." I looked at myself in the mirror. "It means I fell asleep in my work clothes."

"Ah." He started his car with a deep chuckle. "You haven't done that since the first week you stayed with us."

"I was tired," I defended myself, a light whine. Hopping around on my tip-toes, I bounded back into my room. "But I don't have an iron here."

"You bought a change of work clothes on one of your outings with Lyric."

My eyes widened with remembrance. "Oh yeah!" Swinging open my closet, I spotted it in the far end and withdrew it. "Thanks, Jin!"

"Mhm." I heard his smile. "And put your socks on before you get dressed."

I gaped at my phone. "How did you know I wasn't wearing socks?"

"I hear you jumping around, Faeryn. You do that when you're not wearing socks, so your feet won't have to touch the floor."

I looked down at my feet, and quickly, I hopped over to my dresser for a pair of socks. "I'm putting them on now!"

"Very good."

By the time I was dressed, ready, and tidied up my room, Jin was knocking on my door. Into my phone before hanging up, I told him, "I'll be right there!"

Patting my bed, Mr. Stuffins, and Bunny's head, I skipped to the front door and swung it open to reveal Jin.

Clasping my hands in front of me, I swayed side to side as I looked up at him with a light blush. "Hi, Jin."

He stepped closer, making me step back as he closed the door behind us. "Hi, Faeryn."

Leaning down, he brought his hand to my back and pressed me to him, dipping his face to mine and kissing me. Hard.

I melted into it, tentatively looping my arms around his neck as I held onto him.

"Jin," I whispered when he pulled away and brushed his nose against mine.

"Faeryn."

"I kissed you back," I continued whispering as I looked at him longingly. "Like I said I would on the phone."

"And I kissed you," he responded, his lips brushing mine whenever he spoke. "As I said I would on the phone."

I stammered out an agreement before he kissed me again, pushing me further into the apartment until we reached my room, kissing the entire way there.

Without breaking the kiss, he reached my desk, lifted my purse, slung it over his shoulder, and guided me back to the door. With one final, deep kiss, he resumed his height and took possession of my hand.

Dazed and floating on the touch of his lips, I stammered, "Thank you for getting my purse."

He kissed my forehead. "Mhm."

Lifting my keys from the keyholder near the door, he led me outside of my apartment, locked the door, and swiftly hooked my keys to his belt loop without looking. With my hand still in his and my purse over his shoulder, he took me to the elevator.

Whiplashed and absolutely drunk off of him, I managed a quiet, "Thank you for taking care of me."

Having already pressed the elevator button, he turned at my sudden words and lowered his height back to mine. With my chin in his palm, he guided my face closer to his. 

"It's a given that I will take care of you," he said lowly as his eyes flicked to each of mine. "I don't need to be thanked."

"But I...I want to," I negated as my attention dipped to his lips. "Need to."

"You need to thank me?"

I sucked my bottom lip as I looked at his. "Yeah."

"Is that right?" 

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, so please let me."

"You can give me a kiss, Faeryn." His lips brushed mine. "That's how you can thank me if you need to."

"Yeah," I breathed out. "Need to."

He returned his forehead to mine. "Go ahead."

I kissed him eagerly, keeping a tight hold of his shirt near his shoulders to stabilize myself, and when the elevators opened, he took me inside without breaking the kiss.

With a firm clasp on the back of my neck, he deepened the kiss, pressed the button to take us to the lobby, and curled his fingers through my hair for a light massage.

I couldn't breathe when we arrived at the lobby, panting, flushed, and kiss drunk.

His attention was mine throughout our drive, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my inner thigh. He would squeeze occasionally, firm and protective, and I had to focus on staying still. If not, I was sure I would embarrass myself by bucking into his hand.

Stumbling across the cobblestone drive to the cafe with my hand in his, he passed his hand through my hair as we stepped into line to order.

Grazing my ear with his lips, he prompted, "What would you like?"

I blurted the first drink that came to mind while his hand remained pressed to my back. "Latte."

"And how would you like your latte?"

"Don't know," I panted.

Angling himself to see my face, he read my expression easily and hid a smile. Letting his lips brush my cheek, he said against it, "I'll take care of it."

"Okay," I stammered, "Thank you."

"Just hold my hand, Faeryn."

I did as I was told, grateful for the support holding his hand lent me, and as we moved up in line, he decided I would have something sweet—but not before I ate something with substance. After he ordered and we received our food and drinks, he took me to a table near the back.

Pulling a chair out for me, he made sure I was settled in before bringing my items toward me. Opening the straw, he pushed it into my drink, opened the bag containing my grilled cheese and donut, and placed a few napkins near them in case I needed them.

Seated across from me, he waited until I took a bite of my sandwich before opening his bag of food.

"Jin," I whispered, dizzy and spinning from his care. "Thank you."

"What did we talk about earlier, Faeryn?"

Blushing, I asked tentatively, "We can...kiss here?"

"We're seated far enough away, Faeryn. No one will see."

Eagerly, I snuck a look around before leaning across the table and offering my lips to him. With his smile fighting through, he met me in the middle and kissed me, only making the dizziness encapsulating me worse.

"Eat," he instructed when he pulled away. "We'll check the results in a minute."

"Can...can we check it now?" I asked nervously. "I won't be able to eat."

"You'll feel better with food in your stomach," he negated. "Take a few bites."

Hesitantly, I nodded and nibbled my sandwich.

"Big bites," he instructed, and with an embarrassed squeak, I took a bigger bite.

Chuckling, he lifted a napkin, grasping my chin and wiping around my mouth. "A big bite," he said, amused. "Not a huge bite."

I couldn't apologize or food would've fallen out of my mouth, and with his hold on my face, he told me, "You can do it, Faeryn. Chew your food."

Blushing at the command, I chewed my food, relieved when I swallowed it all down but missing his hands on my face immediately.

Sipping my latte, I looked at him the entire time. With another bite of my sandwich, I asked, "Can we look at the results now?"

"Faeryn." He set the knife he'd been using to spread cream cheese down. "Let me take a few bites of my own."

"Oh," I said with a quick nod. "Sorry. Okay."

"Don't apologize." He placed the toast back onto his sandwich to complete it. "Try your donut."

I looked at it. "Okay." 

Once I took a bite, I finished it rather quickly, surprised at how good it tasted. With a small hum of contentment, I settled further into my seat, satisfied. 

"I'm full," I told him, then paused. "That's—I didn't mean it like, 'I'm full, so we have to look at the results now'. I'm patient; I can wait, Jin, I can."

"I know. It's all right."

I relaxed, relieved he understood. "Okay. I don't want you to be mad. You were so nice coming to pick me up even when I woke you up so early." I blushed intensely. "I—I know you said it was okay, but next time, I'll look at the time."

He returned his food to his plate. "Faeryn."

"Yes?" I peeped.

"You're nervous about the test results, so I know your fear is heightened, but I've told you before that I will communicate if and when I am ever upset with you, have I not?"

I felt like shrinking until I disappeared, but still, I managed to whisper, "Yes."

His tongue hit the roof of his mouth. "You're not in trouble; breathe."

I nodded quickly, stammering my thanks as his words caused an assortment of relief to flood through me.

Looking at me closely, he continued, "I know anything pertaining to the doctor reminds you of Ryker due to him denying you the right to visit one for so long, but Ryker isn't here; I am, and no matter what the results read, I will still be here. We'll take it one step at a time, Faeryn, I promise."

"And," he reiterated strongly. "I need you to focus on remembering that I am not angry or upset with you for any reason. If I am, what will I do?"

I swallowed around the dryness in my throat. "Tell me."

"And have I told you I'm upset with you today?"

I shook my head. 

"Words, Faeryn. Verbalize it; I want you to hear it."

"No," I said quickly. "Sorry, you—no, you didn't tell me that you were upset with me."

"Don't apologize," he warned lightly before continuing, "What have I told you today?"

I struggled for a moment to think as my anxiety vied for my full attention, but eventually, I began listing his words. "You said I could call you in the morning, that we were brushing our teeth at the same time, that you would kiss me when you came to my apartment, that I didn't need to thank you for taking care of me, that you would take care of the latte, and...and for me to just hold your hand."

"That's right," he approved. "Does any of what you just said point to my anger?"

I faltered before rapidly shaking my head. "No, Jin."

"What does it point to?"

"That...that you're not mad," I verbalized, starting to relax.

"And if I'm not mad, what am I?"

"You're..." I thought hard. "Happy?" I hesitated, confused. "Because it's the opposite of mad."

His lips tugged at the corners. "Yes, happy works."

I sagged in my seat. "Thank you," I breathed out. "I was...I'm just really nervous."

"I know, but that's why I'm here."

I peeked up at him. "Really?"

"I told you that whenever you visited the doctor, I would be there for you every step of the way, and I intend to keep every promise I make to you, so yes, Faeryn. That's why I'm here, and I always will be."

My anxiety eased tremendously, and my next breath stammered out of me. Unsure how to vocalize how much his words impacted me, I slowly and carefully lifted my hand. He'd told me before that it was okay if I didn't know how to respond—that's why we had hands.

Like I'd done once before, I signed, "I love you."

His features eased, and he lifted his hand to sign the same thing. Reaching forward tentatively, I linked our pinkies while our hands were in the 'I love you' sign position. Shaking lightly, I told him, "It's a promise."

"A promise," he repeated.

I nodded fervently. "It's a promise that I...that I care about you in this way, and that I always will."

He pushed our fingers to intertwine and offered a firm squeeze. "And I promise that I always will care about you in that way, too."

My heart caught in my throat—because I knew it wasn't real. He didn't know what he was signing. And still, seeing him sign 'I love you' made my stomach settle and churn with hope simultaneously.

"Jin?"

"Faeryn."

I held onto his hand. Onto him. "I really...mean the sign that I just signed."

"I know you do, Faeryn. I mean it, too; otherwise, I wouldn't have signed it."

"It...yeah." Deflated, my hold on him only tightened. "It means we care about each other."

"In a way."

"In a way," I confirmed quietly.

"It is a large sort of way to care about someone, is it not?"

I looked at him, surprised. "Yeah, it—yeah, it is."

"And we promised to always care about each other in that way just now, did we not?" When I nodded, he continued, "You don't have to tell me in words, Faeryn. I told you; we have our hands for words we can't quite find a way to say."

My throat worked against the emotion threatening to clog it. "It's a big way to feel about someone, Jin." Hope filled me. Choked me. Gutted me. I'd never loved someone the way I loved him—loved the others. "Right?"

"That's right."

"Do you..." I flicked my fingers together with my vacant hand. "Do you think that one day we could say the words?"

"Would you like to?"

"I..." I blinked. "Do you...do want to say them?"

His head tilted slightly to the left. "Faeryn."

"Yes?"

"Hoseok told you there was nothing you could say to scare us away."

I hesitated. "Yeah, but...this is different."

"It's not."

"It is," I persisted. "It's different. And scary."

"Feelings can be scary," he confirmed. "But we don't run from feelings, Faeryn, do we?" His thumb ran over my knuckles. "What do we do with them? What do we do when we're feeling too much and don't know what to do?"

"We..." My nose scrunched as I thought. Eventually, my eyes lit up, and I concluded, "We communicate, and then we feel better."

"That's right," he agreed. "We communicate."

I chewed my lip. "Yeah, but...maybe I'll communicate later. Because we have the results to look at, and I..." Embarrassed, I revealed, "I don't think I can handle both things at once."

"That's all right. That's fine." He cupped my cheek momentarily before returning his hand to the table. "Knowing what you can and can't handle is important, and I'm proud of you for letting me know."

I preened. "Really?"

"Really."

I sighed, basking in the warmth his hand provided as I settled further into my seat. "Okay, but when I'm ready to communicate, I'll tell you. I'll communicate that I'm ready to communicate."

He smiled. "All right. And I will be ready to listen and communicate in turn."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Should...should we eat now, so we can look at the results?"

"We can."

He took a few bites of his food, watching me squirm with anticipation as I sucked on my latte's straw for comfort. The action soothed me, and when my sucking turned languid, Jin decided, "All right, Faeryn. Give me your phone; let me see."

I listened immediately, watching anxiously as he input my passcode and navigated to my emails for the results.

He took a moment to read over them, his brows wavering before settling, and once done, he returned my phone to me.

"Breathe," was the first thing he said, and I tried. "Everything's fine."

"Fine?" I asked, barely breathing. 

He held his hand out, flicking his fingers, and I took the offer easily, sliding my palm to join his and holding on for dear life.

"You have Cubital Tunnel Syndrome," he explained as he caressed the top of my hand. "There are non-surgical treatments, and I want you to keep that in mind."

"Okay," I breathed out as my mind whirred. "Okay. I will, Jin."

"Good," he praised lowly. "While there are non-surgical treatments, Dr. Honeycut is...concerned that the symptoms haven't gone away on their own yet as they usually do. However," he said when worry flashed across my features, "a large cause of it is leaning against your elbows when bending them, and you do that frequently at work, so that could be why."

"Oh," I said headily. "Yeah, I...I do."

"Your sleeping position," he continued, "has to change as well."

"Change?"

"You like to curl into yourself and bring your hands to your face."

"Oh." I nodded as I thought about it. "I...yeah, that makes my elbows bend. But I...I've tried to sleep differently, but I can't."

"You can," he countered gently. "It will take some time to get used to, but you can do it."

Anxious at the idea of a change to a part of my schedule, I couldn't find it in myself to nod.

"What did I say?" he prompted. 

"Breathe," I responded, my voice sinched with worry.

"Show me a deep breath."

I tried.

"One more time," he instructed.

I tried a few more times before I was successful, and I gripped his hand with a vice-like grip the entire time.

"There," he murmured. "Everything's fine."

"Everything's fine," I repeated wobbly.

"We'll figure it out," he assured me. "Let's not worry about it right now, yes? It's not night yet, but when it comes, we'll take it as it comes."

"Alone," I said before I could take it back.

His brow lifted. "Alone?"

"At my apartment," I whispered. "And if I can't sleep, I'll be thinking all night, and I'll have a bad day at work, then I'll get overwhelmed more easily and have a verbal shutdown, and—"

"You'll stay at home tonight," he cut in before I could continue panicking. "Yes? We'll find ways to tire you out until sleeping in a different position doesn't matter; you'll fall asleep because you'll be too exhausted to do otherwise. Yes?"

I shuddered with relief. "Thank you, Jin, thank you. I—I didn't want to stay at my apartment."

"Okay," he said, watching me closely. "That's okay. That's all right. You'll stay with us at home."

"Can I sleep with you?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes," he confirmed. "You can sleep with me."

My chest stammered with hope. "Thank you." I paused. "I know I'm not supposed to thank you, but—"

"Relax, Faeryn. Breathe."

I rubbed the side of my face almost frantically. "Can—can we keep talking about the results?"

He took the hand rubbing my face and held it in his. "We can, but I need you to breathe. We're almost done, then we can take our coffee and walk around. There were some shops I saw you looking at on our way in the cafe."

"Okay," I stammered, finding some consolation in the idea of fun after something difficult.

"Okay," he confirmed, watching my anxious twitching carefully for a moment before proceeding. "She has a few physical therapy ideas, including dry needling. It's like acupuncture, and it will help release trigger points. It could help with the pain."

"And...and surgery?"

"It's the last resort," he said meaningfully, "but if needed, it would be a cubital tunnel release surgery. It would help release pressure off your ulnar nerve, which is what's being affected."

"Ulnar nerve," I repeated. "Oh. Okay. They...so they need to use needles on me for the...dry...needle?"

"Dry needling, and yes," he confirmed. "It doesn't hurt very much, and it isn't like getting blood drawn."

"How do you know?" I asked worriedly.

"I've had acupuncture done before," he explained. "It's relaxing."

"Oh." I blinked. "Really? Then...okay." Determined, I nodded. "I can do it."

"I know you can," he agreed, his tone softer than before. "With the dry needling, we'll also wear your elbow brace at night to keep you from bending your elbow. All right? We'll try everything we can before turning to surgery, but even if we do surgery, it will hurt less than drawing blood, do you know why?"

"Why?" I asked tentatively.

"They'll put you to sleep." He rubbed my wrist reassuringly. "And when you wake up, you'll be closer to not being in pain because of nerve issues anymore."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's...true." Taking a deep breath, I released it. "Okay. Well, is...is there anything else on the test results?"

"That was it."

"Okay, I...I want to go with you somewhere now, Jin, and I want to hug you." I sighed tremulously. "I feel...a little overwhelmed, I think."

"That's all right. That was a lot of information, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, relieved when he stood. Joining him quickly, I didn't get a chance to leave the table when he tucked me to his side and grabbed my drink, settling it into my hand before taking my other and clasping it firmly with his.

With his drink in his vacant hand, he still managed to grab my purse effortlessly and arrange it on my shoulder, and with a kiss to the top of my head, he led me out of the cafe.

The breeze outside was gentle but not as gentle as Jin, so I clung to him, my face half hidden in his shirt as we walked the cobblestone streets to view the shops.

I talked about the test results quietly as I tried to conceptualize them, still nervous about the upcoming change to my sleep schedule, but Jin being with me now and tonight made me feel better.

I would be home tonight, and that was enough to keep my panic from skyrocketing.

Jin responded to each of my questions and let me ramble as I tried to convince myself I wasn't scared of dry needling. I wasn't able to convince myself, but Jin was able to distract me as he took me into a shop full of books, clothing, and games.

Anything I touched, he put in a small shopping basket. I figured he was carrying them so we could put them back, but when we were done shopping, he took me to the check-out area and bought everything in the basket.

When I protested, he grasped my face and kissed me in front of the cashier.

I couldn't breathe properly when he pulled away, and in a low, gravelly tone, he told me, "Just hold my hand."

Spinning, I held his hand tightly and took stammered breaths in the safety of his shirt when he pressed my face within it.

When we left the shop with multiple bags, I wasn't as nervous when we entered. I was too busy dizzy with the knowledge he was not only able to buy me anything I touched, but he wanted to—and most likely would do it again.

"Jin," I whispered into his shirt, but he heard it. He heard me.

"Faeryn."

"I..." With my face still hidden away in his form, I lifted my hand. I love you.

His hand still in mine, he lifted his index, pinky, and thumb to sign the words in return. I love you.

Notes:

currently smiling and saying through my teeth, "Say you love him verbally, Faeryn. PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN. SPEAK IT." Poor Faeryn. She needs to realize her men aren't leaving 😔🫂

Chapter 30: You Are Mine To Care For

Summary:

Faeryn's men try their best to tire her out naturally, but the anxiety over her new sleeping position might prevail over their attempts.

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After work that night, I waited at the entrance for the others, confused when Namjoon and Jungkook weren't with them.

Once the others reached me, I asked where they were.

"They left early," Taehyung explained, all smiles at the sight of me. "Jungkook doesn't want to tell you why yet, but he will when they get home." Pulling me into a side hug as he walked, he wondered, "Was work okay?"

"Yeah," I responded, peeking over at the others before my eyes settled on Jin. Trying to hold onto his promise of sleeping with him tonight, I clung to Taehyung as we walked to HYBE's exit.

"What are we making for dinner?" I wondered hopefully. "Can I help?"

"Chinese take-out," Taehyung chirped with a squeeze to my hip. "Chicken and broccoli with brown sauce for you."

My lips parted with excitement. "Really?"

"Really," he confirmed, his smile growing at the sight of my smile. "Jin told us you were trying out a new sleep position tonight, so we thought Chinese take-out could help ease the anxiety a little."

I released a grateful breath. "So nice."

He squeezed me closer to him. "And try not to worry, okay? If you're tired enough, you won't care about the position you sleep in; you'll just pass out, right?"

"That's what Jin said," I responded, slightly relieved that he and Jin both thought the same thing. 

"It's true," was Taehyung's reassuring, cheerful response, although his brows were slightly pinched as he looked down at my worried expression. "And if for some reason you can't sleep—which don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to—you have us to stay awake with."

I nuzzled into his shirt. "So nice to me."

"You deserve it, Faeryn," he said a tad quieter than before with a kiss to the top of my head. 

"You do," was Yoongi's decisive response, and I glanced over at him to see his curt nod. "And everything will be all right with the new sleeping position. Once you get accustomed to it, it will be stranger to try and sleep as you have been."

"Really?" I wondered hopefully.

"Yes. Really," he confirmed. "It will be your new normal."

I fisted Taehyung's shirt as we exited HYBE and approached our cars. "I didn't even think about that."

He nodded. "Two weeks will pass."

"Two weeks will pass," I repeated with a nod of my own, relaxing into the comfort they provided. "Okay."

When we arrived home after a car ride full of Indie Folk music, I was surprised to see Namjoon's car parked in the driveway.

"They're home," I breathed out excitedly, unbuckling myself quickly. 

"They are," Hoseok agreed with a fond chuckle, assisting me when my fingers kept slipping in my attempts to unbuckle myself. "Slow down, sweetheart. They're not going anywhere."

"Excited," I managed, looking up at him eagerly as he bestowed a kiss on my lips.

"I know," he murmured, swiping his thumb along my cheek fleetingly before leaning over me and opening my door. "Don't run, hm? I don't want you to trip."

"I'll go slow," I promised quickly, beaming at him before hurrying out of the car. 

Struggling to walk instead of sprinting into a run, I walked as slowly as I could to the front door before knocking excitedly when I reached it.

It swung open nearly immediately, and I was greeted by Namjoon, his arms firm and secure as he wrapped me up into them.

"Namjoon," I said breathily, quickly melting in his hold. "Missed you."

"Mm." He kissed the top of my head in quick succession. "I missed you, too, Faeryn. How was work?"

"Good!" My feet dangled from the floor as he held me, moving back slightly so the others could walk through the door. "Where did you and Jungkook go? I missed you when I didn't see you at HYBE with everybody else."

"Did you?"

"Yeah," I confirmed eagerly, moving my face around in his shirt to inhale his familiar, comforting smell. "Missed you."

His chest vibrated with a low chuckle. "I'm here now."

"Yeah," I breathed out, content. "Here." I popped my head up to look over his shoulder. "Where's Jungkook?"

"Here," Jungkook peeped.

I jolted in surprise, turning my head quickly in every direction to no avail. "Where? I can't see you."

"Here," he said again with more urgency than before.

I blinked rapidly as I struggled to decipher where his voice was coming from. Clutching Namjoon's shirt as he kissed my forehead, I asked him, "Can you see him?"

"No one can," he revealed, amused. "He's hiding."

"Hiding?" My lips parted with confusion. "Where?" To Jungkook, I asked, "Why are you hiding? Are we playing a game—like hide and seek?" I squirmed in Namjoon's arms. "I have to go find him."

Namjoon squeezed me tighter, not letting me go. "Jungkook, bub, come out and say hi to Faeryn."

"It's a surprise," Jungkook responded, his voice higher than usual.

"Do you want her to find you?" Namjoon asked.

Jungkook took a moment to decide. "I'll come out."

"Then come on out." Namjoon chuckled. "Don't keep her waiting."

"Okay. I'm—I'm coming out, Faeryn, so just hold on, okay?"

"Okay!" I agreed, waiting with anticipation to see him.

When he emerged from the corner of a wall near the exit of the living room, a gasp left me at the sight of him.

His hair was styled differently, and his gentle, brown waves had been traded for an ashy brunette. 

Shifting nervously from foot to foot with his hands buried deep in his jacket's pockets, he wondered, "Do you like it?" He chewed on his lip. "I wanted something different, and Joon likes it, but do you like it?"

I squirmed in Namjoon's hold again, and this time, he put me down and allowed me to race to Jungkook. Springing into the latter's arms, I released a wonderous laugh as I looked up at his hair. 

"So pretty," I complimented headily. "I really like it."

He visibly relaxed, and a giddy smile filled his features. "Really?"

"Yes!" I squealed, pushing my hands into his jacket's pockets to hold his hands and squeeze as I jumped up and down. He began jumping up and down with me, earning laughter from a few of the others. "It looks so pretty!"

Beaming, he pulled his hands from mine to hug me fiercely. "Thank you."

Amused, Namjoon revealed, "He was nervous to show you."

"I'm sorry," I offered as my bottom lip turned out. "But you don't have to be nervous anymore, okay? I really like it, and I think I would like any hair style you get because you're the one wearing it."

He blushed. "Thank you. And I—I would like any hairstyle you have, too."

I threw my arms around his neck for a strong embrace. "Thank you! Can I touch your hair?"

Once he quickly agreed, I carefully threaded my fingers through his hair and marveled at how soft and luscious it was.

"The color is so pretty," I gushed. "Namjoon, isn't it so pretty?"

"It is so pretty," he agreed, pleased with my reaction. "A pretty hairstyle for a pretty boy."

"The prettiest boy," I confirmed in awe. "And it matches his eyes."

"His pretty Bambi eyes," Namjoon responded.

I gently traced the underlining of Jungkook's eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up under my touch. "They're sparkling a little. Jungkook, your eyes are sparkling."

Jungkook shifted in place at the prolonged attention, his cheeks a pretty pink that only further complimented the brunette color of his hair.

With another squeal, I hugged him before cupping his face and pressing multiple scattered kisses along it. A little giggle left him, and after a moment, he caught my face in his hold and returned my kisses until our lips met for a gentle, nearly frantic kiss.

"I missed you," I told him during it.

A quiet moan left him, and he gasped against my lips, "I missed you, too. I wanted to send you a picture of my hair, but I was too nervous if you wouldn't respond because you were busy."

I brushed our noses together, and with our lips ghosting each other, I said almost indignantly, "I'll never be too busy to text you back."

A relieved smile met his lips. "Okay. I'll—I'll send a picture next time, then you can see it in real life, too."

"Okay," I agreed happily, and abruptly, I turned. "Do you smell that?"

He took my hand, and breaking the kiss, he led me forward. "We got Chinese food for you."

Excited, I pulled him after me as I ran into the kitchen, only slowing down when I remembered Hoseok's words to be careful so I wouldn't trip. I'd done it several times hurrying to the front door in the past, and while he and the others were always there to help me up, they were worried I would fall down the stairs eventually if I didn't slow down.

It was a struggle to keep up with the excitement coursing through my mind, and my body couldn't keep up sometimes, which is why I had a tendency of tripping over my own feet or miscalculating how big or small of a step to take. That and proprioception challenges; it was hard to tune into my body sometimes and coordinate steps and movement the way I wanted to. My childhood doctor told me it stemmed back to Autism.

"A bit slower, sweetheart," Hoseok instructed when I bounded into the kitchen. He'd already pulled a chair out for me and was plating a serving of food for me with a kind, watchful smile on his face. "Do you want to wash up with Jungkook at the sink?"

"Yeah!" I chirped, slowing my steps as I led Jungkook to the sink. 

I poured soap on his hands, and he poured soap on mine, and we took turns washing each other's hands. The process drew on when we kept pouring soap to create bubbles near each others face, hoping to see them land on the tip of our noses. During a successful attempt, Jungkook kissed the tip of my nose where the bubble landed, making it pop and both of us giggle.

"Come eat," Namjoon instructed. 

When we didn't respond, too caught up in our fun, Namjoon chided lightly, "Don't make me repeat myself."

We jolted at the reminder, and rinsing our hands, we hurried to dry them and get to the table. I almost tripped in my hurry, but Jungkook was quick, throwing his arm around my waist and tugging me to his side.

Everyone raised in various question, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," I rushed to assure them. "Sorry, I—I didn't mean to; I forgot to go slow."

"It's okay," Jungkook said determinedly, keeping a tight hold of me as he walked us to the table. "It was just an accident."

"You have to be careful, honey," Jimin told me, watching as Jungkook pulled out a chair for me before taking the one beside me. "We don't you to get hurt."

"I'm sorry," I offered plaintively. "I'll try harder."

"It's all right," Hoseok reassured gently. "You're not in trouble, sweetheart; we just want you to be careful."

"I will," I said, just as determined as Jungkook had been in getting me to the table safely. "I'll be careful."

"We know, honey. We know you're trying your best," Jimin assured.

I nodded, relieved he understood, and as Namjoon pushed Jungkook's serving to him, Hoseok did the same for me, tearing open my chopsticks and gently pushing them into my hand. With a kiss on my cheek, he sat on the other side of me, keeping me between him and Jungkook.

After taking a bite of his food, Jungkook looked at me curiously. "Jin said you went shopping today."

I squirmed at the reminder. "Yeah, we went to have coffee and read my MRI results, and then he took me shopping, and...and he bought me so many things."

Jungkook's features filled with wonder. "Was it somewhere fancy?"

"Yeah," I breathed out. "Really fancy. And he bought everything for me." I peeked over at Jin with a grateful blush. "He was so nice."

"Jin is so nice," Jungkook confirmed, earning a smile of approval from Namjoon and a tender smile from Jin.

"How about," Jin began, "I take you there over the weekend, Jungkook? It's been a while since we went shopping together, hasn't it?"

Jungkook perked up. "Really, hyung? The fancy place?"

"Mhm. Would you like to go? Would you like that?"

"Yeah," he agreed immediately, his excitement shining and visible in his eyes. "What kind of stuff do they have?"

"Books, games, clothing—things like that," Jin explained. 

"Wow," Jungkook said, intrigued. "Do they have chandeliers like that restaurant Faeryn went to with Lyric where she got the keychains for us?"

"Yes," Jin said, amused. "They do."

Jungkook's mouth formed an 'O', and blinking rapidly, a small, giddy smile appeared. Turning it towards Namjoon, he announced, "I'm going with Jin this weekend to a really fancy shop."

Namjoon's smile was hidden in his bite of food. "I heard, bub."

"Thank you, Jin," Jungkook remembered to say, then shared his giddy smile with me. "What things did you get? Maybe I can get something matching if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay!" I exclaimed eagerly. "I can show you. Jin got me so many pretty things, and I really think you'll like them. I..." I thought for a moment. "Jin, did you keep them in your car?"

"I did," he confirmed. "I'll bring them in after dinner."

"I can help," I offered. 

"I'll take care of it."

"I can help," Jungkook decided. "Jin, I'll help after dinner."

Jin's smile pulled through. "I'll take care of it. Eat your food; both of you."

My small pout disappeared into my next bite of food as I wondered how to secretly help Jin bring in my bags.

Jimin's low laughter brought me out of my planning, and I looked up, surprised. "I know that face," he teased me. "You're scheming."

Yoongi's lips lifted slightly at the corners. "She is."

Hoseok chuckled. "She gets very excited and happy when she's scheming, don't you, sweetheart?"

"I'm not scheming," I half-heartedly defended, then amended in quieter tones, "Too much."

Laughter spread, and I blushed, stating in my defense, "It's a good scheme!"

"As good a scheme as paying for your dinner with Yoongi?" Jin prompted.

I gaped at him, and my eyes darted to Yoongi's for answers. 

Jin revealed, amused, "Yoongi didn't tell me, but when I asked, he didn't respond immediately."

Quickly, I defended myself, "You all always pay for me, but Yoongi's the only one who agreed that we can alternate between paying. I want to do that; it makes me feel like I'm taking...I don't know, like I'm taking care of all of you too because that's what relationships are, right? Taking...taking care of each other."

Slightly embarrassed, I whispered. "Right?"

"Oh, honey," Jimin chuckled, fondness laced in the sound. "You do take care of us."

"I...I do?"

"Hearing you laugh is recharging in itself," Yoongi spoke firmly. "That's care in its own right, especially after a long day."

"Listening to you talk about things you're passionate about, too," Taehyung added, smiling at me from across the table. "Like dinosaurs, crochet, and your favorite Indie artists."

"Yeah," Jungkook chimed in, determination lined across his forehead. "Especially after a long day of work when we get to watch TMNT—I didn't even know it existed until you watched it, and now you only watch it with me. It..." He flushed. "It makes me feel special."

"You are special," I told him in unison with Namjoon, adding, "TMNT is our show now."

Pleased, he smiled shyly. "Thank you. And...you always play with my hair when we watch it or let me sit between your legs on the floor. It's my favorite spot, and it—yeah, like hyungs said, it makes me feel taken care of."

Touched and surprised, I asked, "Really?"

"Really," he said quickly. "I mean it."

"You always do your best to make us smile and laugh," Hoseok told me with a soft smile. "If you see we're stressed, you're always right there to calm us down with one of your pretty smiles or big hugs."

"Like a cat," Namjoon noted with a deep chuckle. "Curling up to us with her little hums."

"You're always ready to help," Jin continued. "Having you in the kitchen with me is helpful, more so because of how excited you are to be there. It doesn't matter what we make that day, Faeryn; you're just excited to be with me, and it's more than enough to make me feel appreciated."

My heart stammered before filling with warmth. "I...I take care of everyone?"

"You do," Jin confirmed firmly. "Even if you don't realize it. Money isn't the only way to care for someone."

I looked at everyone with wide eyes full of hopeful realization. "I take care of everyone."

"You do," Hoseok said softly. "We love having you here."

"Me too," I stammered over my words and feelings. "At home."

He squeezed my inner thigh. "At home."

"Home," I whispered. "My favorite place."

Jungkook said slowly, testing each word out, "It was my favorite place too, but when you came to live with us, it became my favorite favorite place."

"Double the favorite," Jimin teased him fondly. 

"Yeah," Jungkook said with a light blush. "But it's true."

"I know," Jimin chuckled. "Faeryn has a way of making everything seem brighter."

The compliment floored me, and unsure what to say, my lips kept trying to form words only to fail.

"It's all right," Jin told me. "We have our hands to say what we can't."

I wasn't ready to sign what I felt for all of them, not yet and not in such a large setting, so instead, I signed, Thank you.

Jin's gaze was sharp and intent, somehow seeing right through me, but he didn't speak on what I chose to sign. Instead, he was silent as the others dismissed my thanks.

"Don't worry about money with us, okay, honey?" Jimin told me. "We have enough of it as it is, and we would much rather spend it on you than on ourselves. You're doing us a favor when you let us spend it on you."

"A favor?" I tried dubiously.

"That's right," Namjoon attested firmly. "And while Yoongi can agree to split payments with you, which is fine, that won't be the case with me."

Jungkook hesitated before speaking. "Yoongi was nice to listen to what Faeryn wanted to do though, now they'll take turns paying, and it makes Faeryn happy. She's...I think she's uncomfortable when you pay for her, hyungs."

With wide eyes, I nodded.

“She’s uncomfortable when we pay,” Namjoon returned, “because she isn’t used to it.”

“She can handle herself,” Hoseok added. “She pays for her apartment, utilities, and food—plus whatever else she might want during the moment. We don’t pay because we don’t think she can; we pay because she’s ours, and we take care of what’s ours.”

“You feel like you need to give us something in return when we pay for you,” Yoongi said slowly. “I have noticed that.”

I agreed, elaborating, “I don’t want anything to feel one-sided, and if everyone always pays for me, it’s one-sided.”

“Maybe the paying is one-sided,” Namjoon confirmed, “but other aspects of our relationship aren’t.”

“He’s right,” Hoseok agreed. “It balances itself out.”

“Like…me taking care of you?” I tried.

He kissed my temple. “Just like that.”

“Mm…well…could I pay for something?” I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. “Maybe I could take you all on dates, too, and then I could pay because it was my idea.” My eyes brightened with hope. “Right? Please?”

Namjoon leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest as he looked over at Jin. The latter caught his eye, read whatever his expression held, and breathed deeply.

“It’s something you want,” Jin responded to me. “And we promised to give you whatever you wanted.”

My stomach flared with hope. “So I can? I can pay on dates?”

“Once every month,” he warned lightly. “No more than that.”

Taking my win, I beamed. “Thank you! And you can buy whatever you want when I take you on a date, and I’ll pay for it; I can do it.”

Jimin loosed a chuckle with a shake of his head. “You are just too sweet, honey. Promising to take us on dates and pay for anything we might want.”

Excited, I confirmed, “Yeah, I really want to.”

“I know,” he crooned. “Our sweet girl.”

Elated, I clapped my hand excitedly. “Who can I take on a date first?”

“Anyone you’d like,” Jin told me, hiding a smile into a sip of wine. “But not this month as you’ve already paid for your date with Yoongi.”

“Okay,” I agreed good-naturedly. “Next month, then.”

“Next month,” he concurred.

I beamed, pushing my broccoli around in brown sauce before taking a big bite. Chewing happily, I looked around at everyone before sagging in my seat contentedly.

As soon as I swallowed, I announced, “Best.”

“Best?” everyone echoed back at me.

I squeaked, surprised at the unison, then giggled. “You’re the best—all of you.”

“No, sweetheart,” Hoseok returned fondly. “That’s you.”

“The best,” Jungkook said breathily, squeezing my thigh as Hoseok did the same.

“No,” I refuted. “You’re all the best.”

“How about we’re all the best?” Jimin suggested, cracking up when Jungkook began to protest my words. “Shh, Kookie, this will go on all night if we don’t compromise.”

Jungkook looked to Namjoon for assistance, but the latter only lifted a brow, amused, and instructed, “Eat your food.”

Jungkook nudged his nose against my cheek and whispered, “You’re the best.”

I returned his kiss, but when I went to defend my viewpoint that he was the best, he grasped my face and pushed my lips into a pout, keeping me from speaking.

When I whined, he pressed a quick kiss to my pouty lips. “Joon said you have to eat.”

I shook my head, pointing at him instead.

“Well, he said I have to eat,” he agreed. “But he meant that you had to eat, too, so you can’t say anything about me being the best because he said so.”

I gave him a look.

He smiled sheepishly, and his next kiss was for consolation.

“Eat,” Namjoon chuckled. “Both of you. And Faeryn, don’t argue about who’s the best; we’ll agree that everyone is, and if you can’t agree on that, you’ll agree to disagree, yes?”

With a huff, I managed a nod with Jungkook’s grip on my face, and he cooed at me, endeared with me as he pressed multiple kisses to my lips and face.

“Let her breathe,” Jimin half scolded/half laughed.

“She’s so cute though, hyung,” Jungkook said, wide-eyed as he turned my face to allow Jimin to see me.

With my cheeks still squished into a pout, and my eyes now slightly glazed over from basking in the attention Jungkook was bestowing me, Jimin’s features softened.

“Look at our sweet girl.” He sighed, shaking his head as if he couldn’t fathom how sweet I was, and I squirmed in response. “Is Jungkook not letting you take a deep breath because of it, honey? Hm? Because you’re so cute?”

I managed a nod, and he and Jungkook crooned in unison, the latter immediately returning to kissing my face.

“So pretty,” Jungkook breathed against my cheeks, enthralled. “And so cute.” He bit my cheek lightly, the playful action making me giggle. “Going to eat you.”

I squealed when he neglected his hold on my face to bury his face in my neck, attacking me with kisses and tickles as he pretended to eat me.

Laughter spread the room, and as my squeals and laughter joined, I felt as alive as I felt liked—maybe even loved.

I hoped so. I had never loved them so much, and I knew the love I held from them would only grow. Every day, it seemed, there was something new to love about them.

My home.

After dinner, we played board games, watched TV, and took a walk in their larger-than-life backyard. The September weather was cold, and Hoseok bundled me up in so many sweaters that I could do nothing more than waddle around with my hand in his as the pressure of so many sweaters made it hard to walk—let alone breathe.

It was still fun, walking and laughing with everyone. Jungkook and I collected leaves, and with the few flowers the Fall season hadn’t taken away, we brought them to Taehyung so we could make flower crowns again.

Namjoon urged us three to do a race, and I knew it was to tire me out, but I couldn’t run with the bulky sweaters I adorned. Halfway through my first attempt at the race, Hoseok decided to stop it and coax gloves onto my hands.

“Hobi,” I said, blinking up at him as he fitted the gloves onto my hands.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

I inched closer to him. “I can’t really walk with all of these sweaters on.”

“I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He caressed my hair. “Hm? It’s a little chilly.”

“But I’m a penguin, and it’s not winter yet.”

“You’re a very cute penguin,” he countered with a chuckle, lowering his face to mine for a kiss. “Now go race Jungkook and Taehyung, but be careful when you’re running. Try not to fall, okay?”

I smoothed my sweaters down to try to make them appear less bumpy. “Can I take one off?”

“Can you keep them on until we go back inside, sweetheart? Your cheeks are flushed from the cold as it is, and while I will always take care of you if you catch a cold, I’m taking care of you now by preventing one.” He kissed my forehead. “All right?”

I hugged him tightly, finding it difficult to do with the sweaters, but I felt his firm squeeze all the same.

“Best,” I spoke into his sweater, muffled.

He rubbed my back. “You’re the best.”

Indignant, I pulled back to look at him. “That’s not how it goes.”

“I’m changing the rules just this once.”

“But why?”

“Because I wanted to let you know that you’re the best.” He gently nudged me toward where Jungkook and Taehyung were waiting. “Go on, sweetheart. Beat them in the race.”

With a sigh at the changed rules, I decided to let him win just this once as I waddled back to Jungkook and Taehyung.

“Ducky,” Jungkook said upon my arrival, pinching my cheek softly.

I squeaked at the name, blushing when he proceeded to provide another affectionate attack of kisses.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon managed to scold as he bit back his laughter. “What has gotten into you? Let her breathe.”

“She’s so cute,” Jungkook defended, finding it difficult to pull away from me. “Just look at her!”

“I am looking at her,” Namjoon returned, amused. “And she needs to breathe.”

“Sorry, Faeryn,” Jungkook offered, his brows wavering slightly. “Can you breathe now?”

I face-planted in his chest, overwhelmed by the burst of affection but wanting more.

“Poor thing,” Jimin sympathized. “Jungkook, you need to be gentle with her.”

“I was gentle,” Jungkook insisted. “It was just a few kisses.” He hesitated and looked down at me worriedly. “Are you okay?”

I nodded quickly, looping my arms around his neck and trying to lace my legs around his waist. He caught onto what I was trying to do immediately and lifted me up, letting me cling to him.

Taehyung started to laugh. “What about the race?”

“Faeryn,” Jin cut in, causing me to peek over at him. “Are you tired enough to go to my room and sleep?”

I hesitated, nodded, then shook my head.

“Then let Jungkook put you down and have a race with him and Taehyung,” he instructed.

“Yes, Jin,” I complied, kissing Jungkook sorrily before allowing him to set me down.

As soon as Jimin counted to three to start off the race, Jungkook and Taehyung were off. I, however, tried my best to hurry off with them with my sad, little waddles. Eventually, I gave up and slowed to a walk, waving when Jungkook and Taehyung raced back my way. Surprised when they stopped in front of me, they lifted me on their shoulders and brought me back to the start, announcing, “Faeryn’s the winner!”

I beamed, giggling as cheers erupted in my favor.

“Did you see me?” I asked everyone as I was put down. “I was so fast.”

“The fastest,” Jimin teased. “I couldn’t even see you, that’s how fast you were.”

“Like The Flash,” Jungkook played along. “You were really fast, Faeryn. Did you go halfway across the world and back?”

“Oh. I…yes.” I stood up straighter. “I did.”

“Is that right?” Namjoon prompted, and when I nodded, he pressed, “What do you have to show for it?”

I faltered before coming up with, “A snack from another country, but I ate it on my way back.”

Jungkook giggled. “That’s funny.”

Proud of myself, I put my hands on my hips and nodded. “Yeah.”

With a chuckle, Namjoon scooped me up. “Come on.”

“Where?” I wondered, holding onto him tightly.

“Back inside.”

“Really? No more racing?”

“Considering you ran across the word,” he mused, “I think that’s enough racing for one night.”

I patted his cheek fondly before kissing it and nuzzling mine against it. “What are we going to do now?”

“A warm shower, stretching and breathing exercises, a book, and depending on how you feel after that, we’ll go from there.”

After all of the above was done, my mind was more tired than my body was. It still felt wide awake.

Discouraged, I flopped face forward onto Namjoon’s bed where I was between him and Jungkook as he read.

“I’m tired,” I mumbled into the sheets. “But I’m not sleepy.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook comforted. “It’s only 9 PM, so you still have a lot of time to get sleepy.”

“Maybe,” I whispered.

“Take your face out of the sheets, Faeryn,” Namjoon instructed. “You can’t breathe properly in that position.”

I lifted my face, flushed from the warmth of the sheets, and shuffled back to him and Jungkook. Disheartened, I looked at the pillows as I told them, “I don’t think I’m going to get sleepy; I’m just too nervous, and my stomach won’t stop being in knots.” I switched my attention to it. “It hurts.”

“How long has it been hurting?” Namjoon asked with knitted brows.

“Since…this morning,” I revealed. “When the test results came in.”

Jungkook’s lips parted. “That’s a long time.”

My shoulders hunched. “I think so, yeah.”

With a deep sigh, Namjoon motioned me forward, and obediently, I closed the space between us. Once I was close enough, he eased me onto his lap and pulled me close to create chest-to-chest contact.

Rubbing my back, he kissed the side of my head. “The pressure should help.”

I clung to him. “Okay.”

“When you feel this anxious, tell one of us, Faeryn. We can help.”

“But we were at work,” I countered.

“And?”

“And…we’re busy at work.”

“We will never be too busy for you,” he negated sternly. “Never, Faeryn.”

I shivered at his tone of voice and nodded quickly. “Okay.”

“What will you do if you’re in pain from anxiety or anything else, even if we’re at work?”

“Come and get you?”

“That isn’t a declarative sentence, Faeryn. You know better.”

Quickly, I amended, “Come and get you.”

He squeezed my waist with approval. “That’s right. You’ll come get us.”

“Okay,” I whispered, leaning forward and pushing my lips out in offering.

He kissed me, firm and protective, and dipped me back into the sheets until I was tangled in the blankets once more with Jungkook.

“One more chapter,” Namjoon told me. “Stay with Jungkook and relax.”

“One more,” I echoed, easing into Jungkook as he pressed multiple kisses to the side of my head. “Then I go to Jin’s room.”

“That’s right,” Namjoon confirmed. “Then you can go to Jin’s room.”

Anxious about the upcoming restless night, I burrowed myself into Jungkook and took several tremulous breaths.

He rubbed my back quickly. “It’s okay, Faeryn, promise.”

I didn’t respond, too caught up in all the ways it wouldn’t be okay. Night was the worst time of day, and without my normal sleeping position to comfort and ease me to sleep it away, I felt doomed.

My eyes welled with tears, and with my face hidden in Jungkook’s form, I cried silent tears as Namjoon continued reading and Jungkook caressed my arm.

After the chapter was finished, my tears had only proven to make my body more tired but my mind ever-present, and when Jungkook carefully arranged my face back into the open, his features twisted at the sight of my tear-ridden face.

“Faeryn,” he lamented worriedly. “What’s wrong? Don’t be scared.” He squeezed me tightly, frantically caressing my hair in hopes it would soothe me. “Please don’t be scared. Remember what I said about Joon making bad jokes but being really strong? He’ll protect you, okay, I know it, so I promise it.”

Namjoon exhaled. “Bad jokes.” Then, his warm, heavy hand rubbed my back. “Talk to us, Faeryn. What are you afraid of?”

“Night time,” I stammered. “I—I just want it to be morning time right now.”

“Why is night scary?” he prompted. “Hm? Is it because of the new sleeping position?”

“A little,” I admitted with a sniffle. “But I…I already don’t like nighttime.”

“Why?” Jungkook asked with a crease in his brow. “Is it because it’s dark?”

“Maybe,” I whispered. “But I have bad dreams of Ryker, and before I go to bed, I can’t stop myself from ruminating about everything he did and said, and it feels like torture, and without my sleeping position, I’ll be awake even longer thinking about him.”

Stressed, Jungkook applied a dizzying amount of pressure to our hold. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Hyung, tell her it’s okay; Ryker isn’t here anymore.”

“He isn’t,” Namjoon confirmed gravely. “But what he’s done is scaring her.” Shifting closer, he patted my lower back as he instructed Jungkook, “Sit up.”

Although hesitant to let me go, Jungkook eased his hold and sat up, immediately tugging me back into his arms.

Namjoon positioned himself on the other side of me, and with my back pressed firmly into his chest, my chest was pressed against Jungkook’s, allowing the pressure from both sides to comfort me.

I shivered, relieved, and buried my face in Jungkook’s neck as he and Namjoon caressed my body with care.

“Jin will keep your mind off of him,” Namjoon told me, his mouth brushing my ear as he spoke. “He won’t let it get to the point where you’re too scared to sleep, Faeryn. He’ll be right there for you.”

“Really?” I asked hopefully.

“Really,” Jungkook agreed quickly. “Jin is good at that, and he’s the strongest out of everyone here, so you’ll feel really safe with him.”

“I feel safe with all of you,” I managed through sharp intakes of air. “But I still feel scared.”

“I know.” Namjoon kissed my earlobe. “But you can be brave tonight. Hm? Let Jin make you feel safe in his bed?”

“His bed is nice, right?” Jungkook asked me. “You’ll feel nice and warm and safe. Maybe you can both play video games if you can’t sleep at first.”

I sniffled. “I like playing video games with him.”

“Then you can play them with him,” he encouraged. “Right, Joon?”

“That’s right, bub,” Namjoon approved. “You just tell Jin that’s what you want to do, Faeryn. He’ll take good care of you, just like he always does.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, fisting Jungkook’s silk pajama shirt. “He’s so nice, and today when he took me to get coffee, he took care of everything, and it made me feel like I was floating.”

“Did you enter a nice head space with him today?” Namjoon prompted. “Similar to the one you entered after the doctor’s visit?”

I nodded a bit. “Yeah, and he even kissed me in front of the cashier when I tried to stop him from buying me stuff, and he told me to just hold his hand.”

Jungkook exhaled shortly. “Jin hyung is so cool.”

Namjoon chuckled. “He is, isn’t he? Should I step up my game? Hm? What do you both think?”

“No,” we protested in his favor.

“You’re cool, hyung,” Jungkook insisted. “Jin is just a different type of cool.”

“Yeah,” I agreed with several quick nods. “You’re both cool and make me dizzy.”

“Dizzy?” Namjoon asked, amused.

“Yeah,” I attested. “Dizzy and safe and floaty.”

“Just like Joon makes me feel like sometimes,” Jungkook related. “Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy and dizzy,” Namjoon repeated with a low chuckle. “Very sweet.”

I squirmed slightly before settling, nuzzling my face in Jungkook’s neck as I pushed back into Namjoon.

“Just relax,” Namjoon instructed softly. “Tonight will pass, and the following nights will be easier.”

“I’ll try,” I promised.

“I know you will.”

Once Namjoon and Jungkook had calmed my tears to a slow, Jin knocked on the door. When Namjoon gave him the okay to come in, Jin appeared in sweatpants and a tight-fitting t-shirt that accentuated his firm, muscular chest.

I swallowed at the sight, my stomach flaring with heat as he walked over to us.

“How was your book?” he asked us, his low tone sending butterflies to erupt in my stomach.

“Good,” Jungkook decided, still clinging to me. “I liked it.” He peered down into my averted face. “Did you like it?”

I nodded, chewing on my lip as I looked at Jin.

Namjoon chuckled knowingly. “I think someone wants to go with Jin.”

When I showed a quick nod, Namjoon’s chuckles increased.

Jin motioned me forward with a flick of his index fingers, and eagerly, I sprung up, giving Jungkook and Namjoon a hug before hurrying to Jin. Beside him, I availed myself his hand and squeezed tightly.

“We’ll see you both tomorrow,” Jin told them in parting.

“Night, hyung,” Jungkook offered. “Night, Faeryn.”

I waved my goodbyes before hiding my face in Jin’s side as he led me down the hall to his room.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as we approached his room. “You’re shaking.”

I jolted a bit, then nodded, more than slightly distraught. “I’m nervous.”

“About?”

“The sleeping position,” I revealed. “And I…I told Namjoon and Jungkook this, too, but nighttime is already hard because I ruminate a lot about Ryker, but now it’ll be even harder because I’ll be awake for longer because I’m not used to the new sleeping position.”

His hold on my hand tightened, and his hard gaze shifted to mine. “We will do whatever we need to do to get you sleep tonight, Faeryn. Ryker won’t take that from you; he will never take anything from you again, do you understand me?”

My eyes widened at his tone of voice, firm, final, and concise.

“Faeryn,” he said, a light warning when I didn’t respond.

“Oh!” I stammered, nodding as quickly as I could. “I—I understand.”

He pressed a protective kiss to the top of my head. “Good.”

As soon as we entered his room, he lifted me into his arms and closed the door. Taking me to his bed, he pulled back the blankets, placed me between them, and handed me my yellow game controller.

The TV and PS5 were already turned on, and surprise hit me where I was bundled in his sheets as I looked at the cozy, two-player game on the screen. I’d brought it up to him in passing the other day, interested as I’d seen an ad for it, and he’d bought it.

I looked up at him, floored. “You bought it?”

“You wanted to try it out, did you not?”

“Yeah,” I managed.

“Then yes, I bought it.” He tucked the blankets around me more securely before pushing me deeper into the pillows with a heated kiss. “Anything you want is yours.”

A light shudder ran through me at the firm dominance he held, displayed in his actions, touch, words, and the way he held himself—and held me.

“Jin,” I whispered, clutching the controller as he hovered his lips over mine.

“Faeryn.”

“I like you so much, and I…I’m really happy that I can stay with you tonight because I’m nervous to sleep, but you make me feel not as scared. You…” I took a deep breath only for him to snatch it away when my gaze caught with the intensity of his. “You make me feel safe.”

“I will always be there to not only keep you safe,” he said steadily, each word he spoke laced with meaning, “but to make you feel you safe. Do you understand that, Faeryn? Do you understand that I won’t let any harm come to you whether it’s Ryker, bullies, or the fear of sleep? I,” he reiterated, “am right here, and I’m not going anywhere unless you’re right there with me.”

My breath hitched, and overwhelmed by the depth of his words, I tried to hide myself in his form, but he grasped my face and brought it to his.

“We talk about our feelings,” he told me unwaveringly as he studied the quick flick of my eyes and fingers. “We don’t hide from them.”

“Maybe…maybe sometimes,” I managed. “We hide from them sometimes.”

His chest rose and fell steadily, and when my eyes dipped from his, he angled his face to catch my gaze once more, not letting me hide from him.

“We can’t hide from them forever,” he responded as he watched me carefully. “And yes, it might not be best to speak of them tonight because you’re already overwhelmed, once we establish a new sleeping position and you’re comfortable enough to sleep easier again, you can talk about it. Before then, between then, and after. You can always talk to me or the others—you come get us when you’re ready.”

His thumb swiped against my cheek. “Hm?”

“Okay,” I stammered.

“Good.” His lips brushed my cheek for a chaste kiss. “You don’t have to hide your feelings from us, Faeryn. We’re not going anywhere.”

An intense amount of hope filled me. “I don’t want you to go, Jin. I—I don’t want you to go ever.”

“There isn’t a single part of me that wants to leave, Faeryn, and there never will be. Yes? I need to hear you say you understand that. You,” he said strongly, “are not someone I will ever leave. You belong with me—with us—and we don’t walk away from those we care about—especially with how strongly we care about you.”

“I never want to leave any of you either,” I made sure he knew, even if my voice wobbled during the process. “Never.”

“Then you don’t have to, Faeryn. You don’t have to leave, and we don’t want you to. Yes? None of us are leaving.”

With my bottom lip turning out with emotion, I tried once more to hide myself in him, and this time, he allowed it.

Burying my face in his neck, I inhaled unsteadily as he rubbed my back with his firm, heavy hand.

“Whatever we do tonight,” he told me, “is up to you, but it will end in sleep. Everything will be fine.”

“Fine,” I repeated. “It will be fine.”

“It will.”

I nuzzled closer to him. “I want to play the game with you, and I’m…I’m really excited.” With a quick sniffle, I pulled away to pat my nose, smiling timidly afterward.

He kissed the tip of my nose, right where I patted, and resituated me against the headboards. “Then we’ll play the game,” he concurred, tucking me back into the blankets. “For as long as you want to.”

“But not for too long,” I said slowly, peeking up at him for confirmation. “Because I have to sleep.”

“We won’t stress about it,” he negated. “We’ll relax and enjoy our game.”

“Yeah,” I said breathily, trying to hold onto the hope that the game would tire me out. “Relax and enjoy our game.”

He sat beside me, bringing my head toward him and pressing a kiss to it. “Press play for me.”

I listened, curling up to him as I started the game. Gentle, Lofi music drifted into the air, proving to soothe me, and I sighed, squirming as I got comfortable.

It was fun as it always to play games with Jin, and a smile quickly found its way onto my face as I began to settle into the routine familiarity of it.

“Jin?” I asked around thirty minutes into playing. “When did you start liking video games?”

He cocked his head slightly as he thought, his eyes still on the game as he helped my character reach the next checkpoint. “I must have been around seven years old.”

My heart burst at the thought of a little Jin finding the wonder in video games for the first time. “You were just a baby.”

He smiled a bit. “I was.”

“What game was it?”

“I don’t remember,” he admitted. “But my father was enjoying it. He let me play a few rounds, and I was hooked.”

My eyes widened with curiosity. “Did you play together?”

“We did,” he confirmed, his features softening in remembrance. “And whenever I visit him and my mother, we still play together. He brings a new game, and I bring one.”

My features lit up. “That sounds like so much fun!”

“It is,” he confirmed, turning to smile at me. Nudging my chin with his knuckles, he repeated in a softer tone, “It is.”

I nuzzled into his hand. “Your dad sounds nice.”

“He is. My mother, too.”

“Does she like video games, too?” I wondered.

He chuckled. “My father and I try to teach her whenever we play, but she’s too busy screaming with fear when her character gets chased or shot at. She also hates when the remote vibrates along with the game play.”

I giggled. “She sounds funny.”

“She’s a very sweet woman,” he told me, his voice laced with fondness. “I couldn’t have asked for a better mother.”

Touched, I looked at him adoringly. “I’m really sure that she thinks the same thing about you; that she couldn’t have asked for a better son.”

He kissed my cheek before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “Thank you.” Pulling away, he added, “She’ll adore you.”

“Me?” I asked, surprised.

“Whenever I get a chance to see my family, I want to take you with me,” he revealed. “When she meets you, Faeryn, she’ll adore you. She and my father both will.”

“You want to take me with you?” I asked, barely a whisper. “Really?”

“I want to take you with me everywhere.” His words were laced with finality, leaving no room for question. “So yes, Faeryn. I want to take you with me.”

My stomach churned with emotion. “Yes, please.”

“Yes? You would like to meet my parents?”

I nodded quickly. “Yes, I—I want to. You’re so nice, so they must be, too.” Shyly, I added, “They sound nice.”

His smile turned fond. “They are nice. Very kind.” He cupped the back of my neck and squeezed. “We’ll make plans to see them.”

“Soon?” I asked, nervous and excited.

“When we can,” he responded. “We’re busy with work at the moment, but when we can, we will.”

“Okay,” I agreed, shifting closer to him. “When we can, we will.”

He put his arms around me, keeping it wrapped around my waist as he worked his controller, gently nudging it against mine. “That’s right.”

With a shiver, I rested my head on his chest as we continued playing the video game. With the idea of meeting his parents occupying my thoughts, I alternated between focusing on the game and on possible ways meeting his parents could go.

Eventually, a yawn slipped past my lips, and surprised, I looked up at Jin. “I yawned.”

“I heard.”

“Am I sleepy?” I thought hard, trying to tune into my body. “I don’t know if I’m sleepy, Jin.”

“That’s all right.” He caressed my waist. “Take your time.”

I gnawed on my lip, flicking my fingers studiously as I worked hard to think. “My head feels dizzy.”

“It feels dizzy,” he repeated, looking down at me as I spoke. “What else?”

“Spinning a little.” I rubbed the side of my face before easing it deeper into his chest. “Spinning…a lot.”

He rubbed my arm up and down, up and down. “Do your eyes feel heavy?”

I thought about it. “Yeah. Heavy.”

“Do you want to close them for a second? I can finish the next round, and you can try the next one.”

“The next one,” I repeated. “Well…okay. But I’m only closing my eyes for a little bit.”

“That’s right,” he confirmed, passing his hand through my hair. “Then you’ll play the next round for me.”

“For you,” I said with another yawn, snuggling closer to him. “Okay. Can…Jin, can you hug me really tight before you play the next round?”

Without needing further prompting, he surprised me when he easily and swiftly arranged me on his lap, allowing our chests to be flush. Wrapping his arms around my form, he applied pressure, making me melt instantaneously.

“Comfy,” I mumbled drowsily. “Best.”

The sound of his smile surrounded me. “Close your eyes, Faeryn.”

“No,” I protested. “You have to finish it. Hoseok already changed the rules today.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed with a quiet sigh. “So please don’t change them, too.”

His chest rumbled with amusement, making me squirm. “Best what?”

Content, I concluded, “You’re the best.” I hugged him as tightly as I could. “Thank you.”

“Mm.” He kissed the top of my head. “Relax now. Let me take care of the next round.”

“Okay,” I conceded easily. “And then it will be my turn.” I nuzzled into him. “I love playing video games with you.”

“And I love playing them with you.”

Giddy, I pressed a few kisses to his neck, the action turning sloppy when my eyes began to droop.

“Only for a little while,” I whispered to myself, enjoying how Jin’s arms tightened around me.

Minutes later, I fell asleep to the calm Lofi music within Jin’s firm, protective hold.

Notes:

Merry Christmas Eve, and Merry Christmas!! ☃️❄️🎄

I love you guys and hope you're safe, happy, and healthy! Happy Holidays!

Chapter 31: Morning Sex

Summary:

Jin follows through with his promise to Faeryn, keeping her in his sheets until she's satisfied. Later, she's surprised by Yoongi.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I woke up with a jolt, slightly alarmed and confused. Looking around blearily, I tried to sit up, but strong arms kept me pinning in place, only tightening their hold when I began to squirm.

Still half-asleep, I protested, “Leave me alone.”

A warm, heavy hand splayed across my stomach, and I shivered, squirming as I tried to make it drift down past my belly button.

“Help,” I pleaded, unsure what I was asking for in my sleepy state. “Need it.”

A low, gravelly voice entered the air—close enough to my ear to send a sharp shudder to wrack my body. “What do you need?”

Jin.

Last night came flooding back. My fear of sleep, tiring myself out with races, games, and books, and the finale of cuddling up to Jin and falling asleep under the premise of playing the next round for him.

I’d made it through my first night in a different sleeping position, and as it seemed, I’d slept on my side throughout the night as that was the position I was currently in.

“Jin,” I whispered, my stomach clenching with heat at the very thought of him keeping me safe and keeping his promise to help me sleep.

His hand rubbed slow circles against my stomach. “What do you need?” His breath, hot against my ear, only strengthened my desire. “For me to leave you alone?”

A whine left me, and I insisted, “I didn’t mean it.”

“You didn’t mean it.” He kissed my earlobe. “What did you mean then, Faeryn, when you told me to leave you alone?”

“I was half asleep,” I defended my half-asleep self, still not fully awake. “I just need you, so don’t leave me alone.”

He lowered his hand slightly, and out of sheer arousal, I bucked my hips with anticipation.

“Faeryn,” he spoke against the side of my neck, his voice a mere rumble. “Tell me how you slept.”

“Good,” I managed, struggling to breathe when his hand remained stagnant on my stomach, no longer moving.

“How is your pain?”

“It’s okay,” I stammered as he shifted me to face him.

“Is that the truth,” he began lowly, “or are you trying to gain my attention elsewhere?”

“It’s the truth,” I hurried to say. “I promise.”

“You promise.”

“Yeah,” I insisted. “Please believe me.”

He kissed the crease between my brows. “I believe you.”

“Oh,” I breathed out, shuddering when he pressed me closer to him. “Good, because I’m not lying.”

“I know, Faeryn.” His hand shifted from my stomach to my lower back. “You’re not as good of a liar as you think. You know that.”

“I’m not too bad,” I protested half-heartedly, distracted when his fingers padded just above my ass.

My features tightened with need, and blinking furiously to push the last remaining drowsiness away, I squirmed to get closer to his hand, but he didn’t allow it, keeping me still.

“Jin,” I whispered. “Please.”

“You just opened your eyes, Faeryn. Take a moment.”

“I already did,” I pleaded my case.

“Faeryn.”

A whine bubbled up in my throat. “Jin, please. Just…a little touch.”

“A little touch.”

“Yeah,” I agreed hopefully.

His chest vibrated in response, and slowly, he brought his hand down to my ass. He barely touched it before his hand returned to my back, and distraught, I looked up at him for answers.

He arched a dark brow. “I gave you what you asked for.”

“But…” I thought hurriedly. “But now that you did a little touch, you can do more.”

“You’ve been awake for less than five minutes, Faeryn.”

“But I woke up next to you,” I countered, blinking at him through my lashes. “And need you.”

His brows wavered, and when I shifted forward, his features tightened as my hips brushed against his.

My lips parted, and a quiet gasp left me when I felt his hardening length. It was barely hidden within his sweatpants, and I struggled not to grind, looking up at him plaintively as I awaited his consensus.

“We’re alone,” I whispered.

His lips set into a straight line, pressed and tight. “We are.”

“You said when we were alone, we could…” I hesitated as my chest heaved with anticipation. “And I want to, if you want to. Do…do you want to?”

His intense gaze bore into mine, and it took him a moment to ground out, “Take a minute to wake up.”

I managed my agreement before whispering, “One, two, three, four, five—”

“Are you counting,” he rumbled, “to a minute?”

“You said to give it a minute,” I defended, high-pitched.

“It’s a figure of speech, Faeryn. It means to take some time to wake up.”

My features fell. “Then why didn’t you say that instead of a minute?”

He pressed a consolation kiss to my forehead. “I apologize.” Rubbing my back, he concurred, “Next time, I will.”

I pushed my forehead to rest on his chest, finding it difficult to catch my breath. “How much?”

“How much what?”

“How much time is ‘some time’ to wake up?”

He squeezed my hip, causing my body to stutter closer to his and a whine to slip past my lips.

“Namjoon said,” he mused lowly as he looked down into my face, “that you’re very responsive.”

Blushing at the mention of Namjoon and the thought that he and Jin talked about me, my breath hitched as I begged, “Yeah, because I need you.”

“As you’ve said.”

Trying again, I peeked up at him through my lashes. “Maybe do…you need me, too?”

His thumbs swiped along my cheek. “Are you asking or telling me what I need?”

“Asking?”

“You don’t sound sure.”

A whimper left me when his thumb traced my bottom lip. “I’m asking because I need you, and I want you to need me, too.”

A low hum left his throat. “You’ve become better at asking for what you want.” He lifted my jaw slightly, bringing his lips closer to mine. “Hm?”

“Is that good?” I managed.

His lips brushed mine when he spoke. “Very good, Faeryn.”

I preened, hopeful as I asked, “Does that mean we can…?”

“Finish your sentence.”

I squirmed, averting eye contact as my blush overtook me. “I can’t.”

“Do you think I can give you what you want if you don’t ask for it?”

Indignant, I lifted my eyes to him as my brows furrowed. “You already know what I want.”

He applied firm pressure to his hold on my chin. “Who are you to decide that?”

I blinked. “I…I don’t know, but I just thought you knew because you told me to take a minute—well, I mean, take some time.”

“Finish,” he repeated, his deep voice permeating into my form, “your sentence.”

My body heated next to his, and eventually, I whispered my defeat. “I can’t.”

“Then I can’t help you.”

“Touch me,” I blurted, desperate when he began to pull his hand away. “Please.”

“A little?” he prompted, his voice gravelly and heated.

“More,” I breathed out. “Please. I just—I want you to touch me everywhere, and I want us to…”

He waited, keeping me within his intense gaze as I tried to conjure up the words and my courage to say them. It took me a moment, but I managed to conclude, “I want us to have sex.”

My eyes widened as soon as the words left me, and I waited for his response, too nervous to keep eye contact with him anymore.

“Look at me,” he commanded, low and deep. “Eyes on me when you ask for what you want.”

With a quiet, needy whimper, I forced myself to look up at him, earning a low sound of approval from him.

“I want you to wash your face,” he instructed. “If you still want to continue in this direction afterward, I’ll follow through with my promise to keep you in my bed until you’re satisfied.”

A shiver tore through me. “Yes, please, I want you to.” Momentarily, I paused. “But I…I don’t understand why I have to wash my face.” Tentatively, I lifted my hand to pat my cheek. “Am I…dirty?”

His hold on me tightened, and bringing my face to his, he clasped the back of my neck as he pressed multiple kisses to every part of my face.

I was breathless when he pulled away, my head spinning as I blinked up at him.

“You’re not dirty,” was his firm response, but it was laced with a hint of softness. “Washing your face will help you wake up.”

My nose wrinkled as I thought. Eventually, distraught, I pressed, “You don’t think I’ll want to have sex when I’m wide awake?”

“Whatever you decide on doing,” he responded, “you’ll decide when you’re fully awake. Right now, Faeryn, you’ve just woken up, and as much as I want to do anything that you ask me to do, I need to know that this is a fully conscious decision for you.” He cupped my cheek. “But don’t doubt for a second that I want nothing more than to take my time with you in my bed. Just us.” Our lips met for a protective, secure kiss. “In my sheets.” He squeezed the back of my head. “Until you’re satisfied.”

I melted closer to him. “Okay, I’ll wash my face, but I’ll still want to, I promise.”

“It’s all right if you don’t want to or change your mind at any time.” He released me in preparation for me leaving the bed, but thinking against it, he took hold of my waist and pressed me wholly to him for a deep, passionate kiss.

Floored, I moaned into it, his words of reassurance and promise only furthering my building arousal, and again, I struggled not to move my hips against his for any kind of friction.

“Jin,” I panted against his lips. “Please, I—I have to wash my face so I can come right back.”

He kissed me harder in response, tightening his hold on me until I was dizzy, and right when I thought I would melt into his arms, he released me and rasped in a gravelly tone, “Go.”

I scrambled off the bed and into his adjoining bathroom, washing my face with his soap and drying my face with his towel. Everything smelled like him, only making me want him more, and I raced back to him as soon as my face was clean and dry.

Once I made it back to his bed, instead of climbing onto it, I paused, took a deep breath, and retrieved any ounce of courage I had. Then, with some difficulty holding eye contact, I slowly lifted my cami above my belly button. His features tightened, and when I continued raising my cami inch by torturous inch, his jaw locked as his gaze intensified.

Wearing a matching light pink bralette and pantie set, the pink of the bralette peaked through as I raised my cami slightly above it.

To show him the panties—to try to tease him like he’d teased me before—I pulled my silk shorts back slightly to allow him to see the pink of my panties.

His fingers turned white around his sheets, and his eyes shifted from my face to my revealed skin.

Releasing my hold on my shorts, I did the same to my shirt, and blinking through my lashes, I asked quietly, “Can you help me take them off?”

A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he sat up, causing his sheets to fall around him and expose his bare, sculpted chest. The muscles in his arms rippled as he left the bed, and my breath caught as he loomed over me, his taller frame hovering over mine.

His hands warmed my skin as he lifted my cami, taking his time as he slowly inched it up my stomach to my chest.

His low tone surrounded me when he instructed me to lift my arms, and once my cami was off and on the floor, he dipped his face and kissed along my collarbones. His lips barely brushed my skin, each kiss more teasing than the last, and my body trembled as it sank closer to him, desperately craving more.

Lowering his hand, he took my shorts off, and I stepped out of them eagerly, my chest heaving as his attention lowered to it. His lips between my breasts, his hands on my waist to keep me still, and his comforting, reassuring smell—I whimpered, gripping his sweatpants tightly as my knees buckled.

Trailing kisses from the bridge of my breasts to my face, he spoke against my chin, “Deep breaths.”

“Deep breaths,” I repeated headily. “I’m trying.”

He lifted me, and I gasped with surprise, immediately locking my legs around his waist for stability. Curling his fingers in my hair to hold the back of my neck, he rumbled, “Keep trying.”

“Okay,” I stammered, and tentatively, I peeked into his face as I circled my hips against his hard length.

His eyes flashed, and as his arms tightened around me, he brought his lips to ghost mine. I tried to close the distance, tried to kiss him, but he leaned back, staying just out of reach.

“Jin,” I whispered, pleading.

He didn’t respond, but his chest rumbled when he denied me his lips again, earning a plaintive whimper from me.

My lips parted in hopeful anticipation for his, and while I waited, I ground my hips against him again.

“Need you,” I begged quietly. “Need to see you.”

“See what?” His lips brushed mine, barely a kiss. “I’m right here, Faeryn. Am I not visible enough?”

“No,” I whined. “I want to see—” I tugged the waistband on his sweatpants to make my points. “Please.”

“You need to use your words, Faeryn. I won’t tell you again.”

Too nervous to outright ask for what I wanted or to touch him there, I ended up squirming anxiously. Tapping my waist admonishingly, he instructed, “Words. Now.”

“Need you,” I pleaded.

“Tell me. Word for word. What you need.”

“Please,” I stammered. “Your…I want your cock, please. I want to see it, and I…I want to make you feel good.”

His expression spoke of his approval, and he closed the distance between our lips, kissing me hard. The force of it caused my grip on him to loosen, but the hold he had on me kept me from falling, only tugging me closer.

I could feel him throbbing through his sweatpants, could feel the heat radiating from his body, and how his hips twitched when I rotated mine against them.

“Jin,” I panted. “Please, I—I asked.”

“You did,” he voiced lowly, approval and desire swirling in his dark eyes.

Gasping for air as desperation made my stomach swirl, I ground my hips with purpose. “Please, please, Jin, please. I need you.”

He pivoted, surprising and exciting me when he laid me on his bed. Hovering his frame to mine, he shifted my hair away from my face as he looked down at me, letting his hips grind forward to meet mine.

Another gasp left me at the jolt of pleasure his actions caused, but he quieted it with a kiss, continuing to caress my hair as he kissed and slowly moved his hips vertically.

Slowly and gradually, he allowed his body to sink further into mine, causing my body to erupt into flames at the pressure, security, and pleasure.

When I tried to buck my hips to meet his movements, I couldn’t, his weight keeping me down. It was grounding, creating a bigger sense of security—safe in his bed with him while he made me feel good—and a moan left me.

Lowering his hand, he squeezed my waist, letting his hand travel up my stomach to cup my breast through my bralette. The touch alone made me arch my back, reeling for more, but he took his time, his pace languid like we had all the time in the world. It was dizzying, and I couldn’t fathom how much more I wanted of him.

He’d only touched me like this when I was sandwiched between him and Namjoon in his bed, but this was different. He was on top of me, letting me feel how hard he was for me while he alternated between thumbing my nipples and massaging my breasts.

He kept my bralette on, teasing me through the fabric, and I whined, breaking the kiss to plead, “Take it off, please.”

His nose brushed my cheek. “Take what off?”

“Everything,” I pleaded.

He nudged his mouth against mine. “Everything.”

Wiggling my hips, I earned his compressed grip on my waist to still my movements. “Please.”

He began on my bralette first, letting my nipples peek through as we kissed and allowing the breeze of the ceiling fan to send goosebumps onto my skin. Finally, when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, he pulled the bralette down to rest beneath my breasts, and my back arched once more when he pressed a kiss to each of my nipples.

My panties were next, achingly slow as he let the fabric caress my clit on its way down.

I had teased him earlier, but this was torturous.

Naked beneath him, he still adorned his sweatpants, and the fabric felt rough against my clit as he ground against me.

I whined, overwhelmed with the sensations and the lack of them. “Jin, please, please, I—I can’t.”

He stopped grinding immediately, lifting his lips from my cheek to peer into my face. “You can’t what?”

“Wait,” I managed. “I can’t wait. I—I need you inside, please, I—I can’t—” My chest stammered, and another whine was evoked from me from the intensity of his full attention. “I can’t wait.”

Without another word, he lowered his pants, and my air left me when his cock sprung against me, rubbing against my clit.

“Jin,” I begged, clinging to his shoulders. “Please.”

With a sharp inhale, he kissed me whilst reaching over to open his bedside drawer. Pulling out a condom, he put it on without breaking our kiss, making my head spin with how effortless his actions were.

With the condom came lube, and he prepped me quickly, taking my moans to the back of his throat as I thoroughly enjoyed the chill, cold feeling the lube provided. Bucking into his hand, he patted my clit admonishingly, only earning more moans from me.

Aligning himself with me, he used my shoulders to push me further into his sheets and deeper into his pillows.

“You tell me,” he commanded, “if you need me to stop at any time, or you sign it. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Jin,” I rushed out, blinking up at him rapidly. “I understand, I promise.”

Taking in my features, he dipped his chin with approval, kissing along my face as he gripped my inner thighs and pulled them apart.

Bringing his cock to my clit, he tapped it against it, the action as teasing as it was torturous. He eased it up and down my entrance, gauging my reactions of whiny moans and silent pleas with my eyes to be taken care of.

Keeping a firm grip on my right thigh, he squeezed it just as he squeezed the head of his dick to relieve the building pressure, and as his dark eyes remained on mine, he slowly eased into me.

My lips parted in immediate ecstasy, the full feeling taking over me, and my eyes fluttered with pleasure as he pushed further into me. He took his time, easing it out slightly to let me adjust before moving in an inch. Back and forth until he bottomed out, and I panted, grasping his forearms to feel them ripple as he angled his hips, allowing him to hit spots that made me see stars.

“Jin,” I stammered, already feeling myself succumb to the pleasure. “You feel—you’re so—”

He looked down at me as he thrust into me, steady and deep. His features were just as taut as muscles were, alerting me of the pleasure he was feeling—that I was providing—and I shivered at the sight.

“I’m so what, Faeryn?” His voice was laced with rasp and pleasure, deep and tantalizing. “Use your words.”

I couldn’t; I wasn’t sure where they went. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t try. So I did, stammering incoherently as my breath hitched on moans and pleas for more.

“Faeryn,” he prompted, his voice tinged with authority and pleasure.

I whined when he paused his thrusts, easing out until I feared he would stop altogether, and quickly, I scrambled to find my words to blurt, “Feels—it feels really good.”

His lips brushed mine but evaded my attempts for a kiss. “It feels good?”

I nodded quickly.

“Then you”—he pressed a fleeting kiss to my neck—“know to tell me that when I ask the first time.”

I shivered when his dark eyes held me in his intense, sharp gaze.

“Okay,” I breathed out. “I just—I couldn’t.”

He kissed beneath my chin. “Is that right?”

“Yeah,” I agreed quickly. “It felt too good, and I couldn’t think about anything else.”

He arched a brow before it leveled out, and his lips tugged into a small smile. “Yeah?” he murmured.

I melted. “Yeah.”

“Can you answer me the next time I ask you a question?” he asked. “Do you think you can do that?”

“Yeah, I can,” I confirmed, eager to return to the pleasure he had been providing me. “Please can we—?”

“Can we what, Faeryn?”

I turned red. “Have sex.”

“Are we not currently?”

I batted his arm, embarrassed. “Jin.”

“Mhm.”

“I asked.”

He kissed the corner of my mouth, torturing me. “As did I moments ago, but you didn’t respond.”

I gaped up at him before insisting, “Jin, please. I’ll listen now.”

“Mm?”

“I promise.”

This time, he kissed my lips, taking in my needy moans and pleas for more until he pushed back into me fully, making my lips part with delight.

“Thank you, thank you,” I panted. “So good.”

He pushed me further into his sheets and pillows, keeping me stabilized by my waist as his hips repeatedly met mine.

I tried to kiss him, but with every thrust, my lips parted and distracted me, leaving me to open-mouth kiss him sloppily. His chest rumbled, and lifting one hand, he grasped my chin and closed my mouth, helping me kiss him.

“Messy,” he rasped against my lips.

I shivered. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry”—he angled his hips differently, making me moan—“for enjoying yourself.”

I voiced my wordless thanks as I kissed him harder, wrapping my arms around him and feeling his back muscles greedily.

I had wanted to feel him like this for so long, have him take care of me in his bed like he promised, and finally having it was enough to send me crashing head-first into an orgasm.

He exhaled sharply when I clenched around him, moaning his name and clinging to him.

“More, more,” I pleaded, still experiencing my orgasm. “I need more, Jin, please.”

Lowering his hand from my chin to cup my breast, he took note of my features scrounging with ecstasy. “How does that feel, Faeryn?”

“So good,” I moaned. “I need to come again, Jin, please.”

“Already?”

His low tone twinged with teasing made my stomach flutter and heat, and with a whine, I explained, “Not yet, but I’m just telling you that I want to come again.”

“Not satisfied?”

“No,” I whimpered. “Need more.”

“And what did I tell you?”

Excitement stirred in my chest. “That you’ll keep me in your bed until I’m satisfied.”

“Mm, that’s right, Faeryn. So as pretty as you sound when you’re begging”—he continued kneading my breasts, and I arched my back for more—“I already made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it.”

“Thank you,” I said with breathless excitement. “Thank you, Jin. Love you.”

His features softened, and his hips stilled for a moment as he pressed a tender kiss to my lips, murmuring against them, “I love you.”

Rearranging my head more comfortably against the pillows so I wouldn’t strain my neck, he ensured I was comfortable and kissed me until I caught my breath from my orgasm. Once I had, he slowly resumed his thrusting to gauge my sensitivity, and when I conveyed my need for more with several blinks at him through my lashes, he held my waist with one hand, cupped my breast with another, and thrust into me.

He resumed a deep, steady pace, kissing me as if he had all the time in the world, and I continued clinging to him as I sunk into his sheets, lost and woven into ecstasy.

He surprised me when he lowered one hand to my clit, patting around it to tease me before paying attention to it, alternating between circling his thumb around it, tapping it, and ghosting over it. It furthered my pleasure, and continual moans slipped past my lips.

“Yeah?” he prompted as he quickened his pace before slowing, keeping me guessing. “You liked that?”

I nodded frantically, remembering before he could remind me, “I liked it.”

Approval lined his features, and holding me firmly in place, he continued with the quicker pace much to my delight.

He marked my neck with kisses, giving me a reminder of our morning even when it would be over, and paid special attention to my breasts whenever I would jut my chest out for his hands.

Rolling my nipple with his thumb, he squeezed before swiping his tongue over it. His throat constricted as he repeated the motion and swallowed, and my eyes glazed over at the sight of his blatant desire.

“Is this how good you taste?” he asked hoarsely. “Is this what everyone in this house has gotten a taste of?”

I whimpered my agreement, and with a low rumble, he took my nipple in his mouth for a harsh suck before releasing it and doing the same to the other. Once done, he blew on them lightly, making me shiver as he kissed them for consolation.

Staving off his orgasm, he brought me to my second, making me jolt and spasm before slumping with occasional shudders.

I was becoming sensitive, but as soon as I came, Jin pulled out, surprising me and earning my protests.

When I tried to sit up, he grabbed my ankles and pulled, causing me to return to my back as I bounced slightly from the force. With wide eyes, I looked at him questioningly as my chest heaved.

Lowering his face between my thighs, he drew them apart and down, making my heart beat wildly. The first stripe of his tongue against me made my back arch for more, and breathless pants left me as he continued tasting me.

He took his time, swirling his tongue around to taste me—to tease me—and I lay there, pinned down in his sheets, lost in ecstasy.

No one had ever tasted me like this, let their tongue explore and their lips kiss along my inner thighs and more intimate areas. Firm and gentle touches of his lips everywhere, his fingers pressed deeply into my thighs to keep my thighs pushed apart for him, and the heat of his tongue warming me intensely.

Reaching forward before I could think, I instinctively tried to grip his hair for support, but without removing his face from between my thighs, he grabbed my hand before it reached his hair, pushed it onto my stomach, and up, up, up until he guided my hand to cup my breast.

With a breathy whine, I panted as he used my hands to fondle my breasts, alternating between them until he lowered my hand, dipped it near my thighs, and let me feel how wet I was—for him.

“Jin,” I gasped, bucking into my hand.

His voice, deep and husky, entered the air. “Faeryn.”

I shivered. “I need more.”

“What do you need more of?” He splayed my fingers out, letting me caress my center. “Your touch or mine?”

My features wound up with pleasure. “I want—Jin, I want you.”

“Do you not have me, Faeryn?”

“Jin,” I pleaded. “I want…” I trailed off, burning up, but pushing through my shyness, I concluded, “Your tongue. It felt”—I groaned quietly—“so good.”

His thumb caressed slow, torturous circles against my inner thigh. “Is that right?”

“It’s right,” I stammered.

His thumb brushed mine. “Where do you want my tongue, Faeryn?”

I blinked at him hopefully.

“Do I need to remind you what our words are for?”

With a furious blush, I mustered up my best glare and bucked my hips. “Here.”

“Where is ‘here’?”

“Jin,” I protested in a whisper.

“Hm?”

“Touch me,” I insisted, and pushing past my shyness, I tapped my aching core. “Here. With your tongue.”

He dipped his tongue to my center, and I nearly squealed from the sensation. Repeating his name, I gripped my thigh tightly for support as he took his time savoring me. Lavishing me. Swiping his tongue around my clit before pushing back into me and making my body shake.

The sensations threatened to push me over again for the third time, but as my legs trembled, he pulled himself up, held my shoulders down, and pushed himself back into me. The immediate fullness made me cry out with pleasure, and I clutched his back, raking my fingers up and down as he thrust into me at a quick, steady pace.

Chanting his name and moaning with pleasure, I sunk into his sheets as he sunk into me, making me come undone for the third time that morning.

When I came, he did shortly after, his brows drawn tightly together and features sinched as he thrust through it. His muscles expanded, his eyes dilated, and his lips found mine for a passionate kiss.

I was barely breathing, but I was soaring in a pleasure-filled haze, high on Jin, sex, and his kept promise.

He didn’t pull out right away, instead letting me feel the sheer heat his body exuded as his lips melded into mine. Grinding into me slowly to draw out our pleasure, he kissed both sides of my mouth, my chin, and then my lips.

Slowly and carefully, he eased out of me, his kisses turning tender when oversensitivity made a whine slip past my lips.

Gently soothing my hair away from my face, he exhaled deeply at the sight of my euphoric expression.

A smile tugged at his face, and he kissed my forehead. “There we are.”

“Jin,” I rasped, my voice broken with pleasure’s effects.

“Faeryn.”

“So good,” I managed.

“You,” he said in response, nudging his nose against mine, “are so good.”

I beamed dazedly at him. “Thank you.”

He hummed in response as his eyes traveled along my face. “Are you satisfied, Faeryn? Is three times enough?”

I blushed under his intense gaze. “I still need you.”

His hand dipped toward my lower body, and I jolted, blurting, “I’m—Jin, I’m sensitive.”

His hand stilled and returned to my side, offering a reassuring squeeze. “What do you need from me?”

“Just you,” I explained with pink cheeks.

His smile fought to reappear. “Why are you embarrassed?”

I squeaked. “I don’t know.”

“You do.”

I shrugged sheepishly. “I made it sound like I wanted more…you know.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “Sex.”

He chuckled lowly. “Yes, you did.”

I groaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, hiding my face in his bare, sculpted chest. “I meant that I needed you, even if we’re done having sex.”

He rested his forearms on either side of my head, caging me beneath him, and lifting a slow, alluring brow, he asked, “Did you think I would leave you here as soon as we finished?”

“I don’t know,” I defended, a light whine. “I just wanted to tell you that I needed you.”

He pressed a protective, possessive kiss to my forehead as his body continued to warm mine. “I won’t and will never leave after sex until you’re ready to.”

My features brightened. “Okay. Me neither. I’m not leaving.” I nuzzled closer to him. “I don’t want to.”

He shifted onto his side, making me squeal when he pulled me into his arms for a secure embrace.

Kissing the top of my head repeatedly, his heavy hand warmed my back. “Neither do I.”

I kicked my legs lightly before pushing one to intertwine with his, telling him giddily, “Yeah, me too.”

His chest rumbled with a chuckle, and he dipped his face to mine, initiating a deep kiss. Mewling, I sighed contently into it, warm and safe and happy.

We kissed mostly, he would chuckle when I couldn’t quite meet his gaze, and I clung to him as his firm hands massaged my body.

“Jin,” I spoke up after a while of nonverbal communication and kisses.

He lifted a questioning brow.

I whispered, “I feel messy.”

He squeezed my hip, and without another word, he tugged me forward, left the bed, and scooped me into his arms. I squealed with surprise, and it dissolved into giddy laughter as he carried me to his bathroom.

“A shower?” I asked when he put me down on the tiles. “Together?”

“Unless you prefer to shower alone,” he responded archly.

I grinned, and with another giggle, I tugged him forward and stepped into the shower. “No thanks. I prefer showing with you.”

“Mm.” He followed after me, switching the water on and positioning me away from it until it warmed up. “We should shower together more often then.” He pushed me closer to him by my ass, squeezing it firmly as his taller form hovered over mine. “Hm?”

Dazed, I nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

Grabbing the body wash, he uncapped it and brought it inches from my nose. “Safe?”

Melting at his concern, I sniffed tentatively, sighing my appreciation shortly after. “Safe.”

I held my hand out to accept it, but he poured some onto his hand, set the bottle down, and lathered me with body wash that smelled like an Autumn dream.

“It smells so good,” I gushed, pushing onto my tiptoes as I held onto his waist for stability.

He kissed my forehead. “Good.”

His hands massaged the body wash into my skin, up and down and around, and I breathed contently as the shower’s warmth rained down on us.

“How do you feel?” he questioned after a while, his low voice surrounding me as I floated in my content haze.

I jolted slightly, not expecting sudden speech, and he chuckled deeply.

With a blush, I revealed, “Really good.”

“Good.” He arranged my hair onto my right shoulder so he could wash the left. “Does anything hurt or feel overly sensitive?”

“Mm…” I tuned into my body. “Nothing hurts, but I’m a little sensitive. Only because I—you know—so many times.”

“Only because ‘you know’,” he repeated, amused. “Can you not say the word?”

“Uh…” I shook my head quickly. “No.”

His laughter vibrated through me, and I preened. “Why can’t you say the word, Faeryn?”

“I’m shy,” I insisted. “It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s a word stating you enjoyed yourself. What is so embarrassing about pleasure?”

My chest stammered. “Nothing!” I squeaked. “I just don’t want to say it because it makes me feel shy.”

He moved onto cleaning my right shoulder as chuckles slipped past his lips. “All right, Faeryn. Hands up.”

“Hands up?” I questioned as I immediately obeyed, raising my hands over my head.

His hands worked the soap beneath my armpits, making me yelp with surprise. His chuckles increased, and he dipped his face to me.

“What’s wrong?” His teasing tone made my head spin. “Does that tickle?”

When his fingers padded in a gentle strum, I squealed, clamping my arms down in an attempt to fend off his tickles.

“Yes!” I confirmed, bursting into laughter when my attempts only earned more of his tickles. “Jin, it tickles, so you have to”—I broke myself off with more laughter—“stop!”

“Do I?”

“Yes!” I insisted, breathless as I grinned up at him. “Or I’ll tickle you.”

“I don’t think you can manage that.”

“What?” I tried to push him back lightly, but my attempts were futile. He remained still.

“That,” he said drily with a lilt of amusement.

I gasped. “You don’t think I can tickle you just because I can’t push you?”

“Mhm.”

Invigorated to prove him wrong, I attacked his sides with tickles, but he didn’t budge, remaining without laughter. Gaping up at him, I tried again and again, but when nothing happened, I looked up at him, surprised.

“No tickles,” I whispered, gasping when he effortlessly positioned me against the shower wall.

“No,” he rumbled, lowering his face to hover over mine. “But didn’t I tell you as such?”

I swallowed. “Yes.”

His intimidating stature made me keen, and I tried to kiss him, but he stayed just out of reach.

“Jin,” I entreated.

“Hand me the shampoo.”

“But you didn’t get to use the body wash yet,” I countered with furrowed brows.

He held me still with one hand on my waist while his forearm rested on the wall to keep me caged in. Lifting a brow, he responded, “Am I done taking care of you in the shower?”

I fiddled with my fingers. “No, but—” His second raised brow was enough to make me amend, “No, Jin.”

“Hand me the shampoo.”

I listened, and much to my delight, he rewarded me with a drawn-out kiss.

Keeping me against the wall as he washed and conditioned my hair, he kissed me throughout it, voicing his raspy approval when I stayed still for him.

High off of him and equally as dizzy, I beamed up at him dazedly when he finished my hair. “Your turn,” I decided giddily.

“My turn?”

“Yeah,” I agreed quickly. “You have to be against the wall now.”

Low laughter rumbled in his chest, and when I tried to leave his hold so we could swap positions, he kept me from doing so.

“Jin,” I protested pleadingly. “I want to wash you up.”

“No.”

“Why not?” I asked, baffled.

Positioning me beneath the stream of water, he uncapped the body wash. “Enjoy the water.”

I blinked furiously. “Jin!”

“Mm.”

“I want to do that for you.”

“I want you to relax.”

“I can relax,” I persisted. “While doing it.”

His lips tugged at the corners. “Enjoy the water, Faeryn.”

I gaped at him but noted the finality in his tone, crossing my arms with indignation. “You did something for me, so I want to do the same.”

“You can stand there and let me look at you.”

I squeaked. “Jin!”

“Faeryn.”

“Don’t say that! I’m—that’s—it—” I clutched my pink cheeks. “It makes me—”

“Use your words.”

“Shy!” I whisper-yelled.

His smile fought through. “We had sex moments ago, Faeryn, but you cross the line at me wanting to look at you naked in my shower and enjoying the heat it provides?”

I shifted in my spot. “Jin.”

“Words, Faeryn.”

“I want to do something for you,” I blurted. “You made me feel so good and helped me shower, so I want to do something, too.”

“We both experienced pleasure from sex,” he said with a quirked brow. “Do you think it went one way?”

“No,” I revealed with a quick shake of my head. “But you made me—you know—three times and then showered me.” I pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You didn’t let me help you shower.”

He hummed in response as he washed his arms.

Upset—and yet invigorated—I decided, “I’m going to make you a surprise.”

“A surprise.”

“Yes,” I proclaimed. “A nice, special surprise.” Pointedly, I added, “Since you won’t let me help you in the shower.”

Cheekily, I stuck my tongue out at him, squealed when he made a move to reach me and I hurried out of the shower.

“Be careful,” he warned, steadying my arm as I exited the shower.

“Sorry,” I said breathily. “I didn’t want you to catch me.”

He released me when he ensured my balance was steadied. “Your surprise won’t occur if you fall and hurt yourself.”

“Sorry,” I sang, giggling when he set me with a look. “Sorry!” Claiming his towel, I found another one to dry my hair with. “Look at me, Jin! Don’t I look pretty?”

I did an exaggerated pose I’d seen models do. “I’m a towel fashionista.”

His previously pinched features from my near fall eased, and his smile reappeared. “Is that right?”

I flipped the towel as if it was my hair. “Oh, yes. Towels are very in style these days.”

“I can tell.”

“Really?”

“They look incredible on you.”

I blushed. “Oh! Thank you. I’m…well, you probably look really nice in them, too.” Hurrying to finish drying myself before I succumbed to my blushes, I added, “I’ll tell the towel fashionistas to make you one, too.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Okay,” I breathed out, wondering what surprise I would make for him. “That’s really great.”

He chuckled. “Be careful when you walk down the stairs.”

My eyes lit up. Downstairs, kitchen—coffee.

“I will!” I chirped eagerly. “Okay, bye!”

His chuckles followed me, and as soon as I threw on one of his long T-shirts and hurried to the stairs. Giddy as I skipped down them, I gripped the banister tightly before jumping off the last step and sprinting into the kitchen. Slowing when I remembered I was trying not to trip, I hummed to myself as I approached the espresso maker.

Jin taught me how to make coffee during dinner a few months ago, hiding a smile when I made my first cup correctly. He taste-tested every one of my attempts until I was satisfied, and I squealed with excitement, blushed at the sound, and hid my red cheeks into a sip of my perfect cup of coffee.

Now, I sang one of Yoongi’s songs under my breath as I retrieved Jin’s usual coffee mug and coffee beans. Grabbing whatever else I needed before I began, I crossed the floor, barefoot and flat-footed as I watched the espresso percolate.

My voice became slightly louder as I relaxed, shifting from foot to foot as I waited. Yoongi’s melodic song didn’t sound as beautiful on my tongue, each note leaving me slightly off-key, but it made me happy to sing something that he put so much time and effort into creating. It made me even happier that he allowed me to not only listen but to keep his songs as files on my phone to have whenever I wanted to listen to them.

Without my phone nearby to listen to his songs, I did my best to accommodate with small shuffles to regulate on the cold kitchen floor and off-key hums and lyrics leaving my lips to fill the kitchen.

Once the espresso was done, I shifted to grab the milk but released a startled yelp instead. At the kitchen table, Yoongi sat, his eyes trained on me as I froze in place.

My cheeks burned a hot red, and my lips parted with embarrassment. He looked as handsome and comfy in his sweatshirt as he always did, and the fact that he heard my off-key singing only heightened my blush.

“Yoongi,” I stammered. “Good morning.”

He dipped his chin in response. “Good morning.”

“How…I mean—” I cleared my throat as I gripped the milk carton for dear life. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“At the table?”

“Yeah,” I managed.

He traced one of the painted flowers adorning the table. “Since before you started the espresso machine.”

I squeaked, jumping slightly in place. “You have?”

He bit back a smile. “I have.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I sputtered. “I was—I mean, I was—” I trailed off, muffling my whines in my hand as I tried to hide in plain sight. “I was singing.”

I heard his smile before I peeked through my fingers to see it. “You were.”

My sigh was laced with embarrassment.“I’m sorry you had to hear that. I…I can’t really sing, and your songs deserve better.”

“Deserve better? No.” His brows tugged together slightly. “They don’t deserve you.”

I continued blushing. “Oh. That’s…that’s really nice.”

“It’s true.” His fingers padded against the table. “You have a beautiful tone.”

I gaped at him before narrowing my eyes. “Really?”

“Really. I had to practice to be able to sing, and I still can’t sing as quite as well as the others.” He showed a half smile. “I’m a rapper, not a singer.”

“But your songs with singing sound so good,” I gushed. “I love your voice, rapping and singing.”

A small chuckle left him. “Thank you, but I had to practice. It’s ironic how often Namjoon would laugh at one of my attempts to sing when he’s not a master of it himself. All I had to do was bring that up, and he’d find something in the studio to toss at me.”

I giggled. “Really?”

“Yes. Once, I fought back when Jungkook was around, and he fired back in Namjoon’s place, indignant that I said his favorite hyung couldn’t sing.”

“Favorite hyung,” I said with a light laugh, not finding it hard to imagine Jungkook defending Namjoon with heated cheeks, twisted features full of indignation, and his wrinkled nose to convey his upset. “Only because he’s dating him. If he wasn’t, he likes all of you equally.”

He smiled. “I know. It is sweet—to see how much he cares about Namjoon. How much they both care about each other, and now…” His eyes flickered across my face. “You as well.”

“Me?”

He nodded. “When you first came here, they were hesitant, but by the end of the first week, I could tell they were enraptured.”

“Enraptured,” I echoed, floored with the information. Quieter, and just to make sure, I pressed, “Really?”

“Really. I believe everyone else was as well. You have this way about you, Faeryn. I would be more surprised if none of us were enraptured.”

My lips parted with surprise. “That’s…that’s so nice.”

“It’s the truth.”

I swallowed. “Were…well, were you enraptured, too? I know we didn’t talk a lot in the beginning, but…” I shrugged awkwardly. “I was just wondering.”

“It takes me a bit longer to warm up to people,” he admitted. “And depression does make it harder to focus on anything but its effects, but in a way, I believe I was enraptured by you. Your smile just seemed…” He thought for a moment. “Different, in the most beautiful way. It almost seemed as if you were scared to smile, and sometimes, I believe you smiled so you wouldn’t cry, but that is what drew me in.”

He breathed deeply. “Even if you were scared, sad, or happy, you smiled. That takes strength, even if you don’t realize it, and I admire that about you. I’ve tried to follow along and smile when I don’t quite feel like smiling, and in the process, I’ve found small things to smile about. Seeing your smile is something to smile about, a new song idea, the ocean, talking with the others, a successful day or meeting—anything I find to smile about, I smile about it for as long as I can, and I learned that from you.”

“Enraptured,” he said more to himself than to me. “Yes. I was enraptured in you. How you held yourself, how you laughed and smiled, how you did things so differently with your straws and earplugs, how you made everyone here smile more than I’d seen them smile—including myself. You’re such a light, Faeryn, so yes. Even before I knew I was enraptured by you, I was enraptured.”

He smiled softly. “I will add your singing to my list of things to smile about.”

My heart thrummed quickly in my chest, and the effect his declaration had on me was dizzying. Enraptured—he was and had been enraptured by me.

“I’m so happy we’re dating,” I blurted, struggling to keep up with everything I wanted to say as my thoughts bumped into my head in an attempt to free themselves. “And I’m so happy we talk. I really wanted to talk to you before we did, and I’m so happy we can talk whenever we want. You make me happy too, and I—I like the word enraptured because I’m enraptured with you—with all of you.”

I inhaled sharply, overwhelmed. “You’re really special to me, and you’re one of the biggest reasons I have to smile every day, so thank you for telling me everything that you just did. I’m—I’m so happy that I can make you smile like you make me smile.”

I added, “And…and maybe you can teach me how to sing on key.” I shrugged shyly. “I think that would be fun.”

His features softened. “It would be fun.”

I twined my hands together as my stomach erupted with feeling. “Maybe it can be like…a date idea.” My blush spread. “If you want to.”

“I would like that very much.”

I swooned. “Okay. I would like that, too. Very much.”

“All right,” he murmured, never once tearing his eyes from mine. “How about tonight?”

“Tonight?” A flurry of excitement built within me. “Yes, I—yes, I would really like to.”

He smiled again. “After dinner?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out hopefully. “After dinner.”

At that moment, Jin walked in smelling of his Autumn Drive body wash. I instinctively took a step toward him, needing his smell to envelop me, and I smiled dazedly at him as he approached.

Looking between Yoongi and me, he took note of the milk in my hand before greeting Yoongi, “Good morning.”

Yoongi, with his eyes still on me, greeted, “Good morning.”

Jin took notice of Yoongi’s rapt attention, and slowly, his head turned to mine. He lifted a slow, alluring brow in question. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” I blurted with wide eyes. “I always want you around. We were just—we were talking.” I resumed shifting from foot to foot again. “We’re…well, we’re going to have a date later. We were talking about that.”

“Yes,” Yoongi confirmed, a small smile on his lips when I continued shifting. “We were speaking of our date amongst other things.”

“I won’t pry,” was Jin’s demure response, but his arched brow left me weak in the knees. The remembrance of what we’d done not even twenty minutes prior wasn’t helping my blush either. “I only came here under the promise of a surprise.”

“A surprise,” Yoongi repeated.

“Faeryn,” Jin spoke slowly, “left our shower early under the claims of one.”

Yoongi’s throat bobbed, and his gaze—still on me—intensified the slightest bit.

“The surprise,” I stammered, unsure how to breathe with everything that had occurred and was occurring. “I—I haven’t finished it yet.”

His jaw locked as his eyes ran over my body before settling on my eyes. “Mm?”

“Not yet,” I confirmed shakily. “The coffee isn’t done yet.” I froze, realizing my mistake too late. Discouraged, I rushed to say, “I didn’t say anything.”

His jaw clicked and settled as he folded his arms across his chest, allowing me the sight of his muscles rippling. “I heard nothing.” His lips quirked the slightest bit. “However, I do smell something.”

My eyes widened. “Plug your nose! Yoongi—” I turned to him for help. “Distract him!”

I caught sight of Yoongi’s growing smile before I turned to hurry back to the espresso machine, trying to do my due diligence to keep my surprise a surprise—if I hadn’t ruined it already.

Yoongi began conversing about a movie he’d watched last night when he took a break from a song he was working on, and Jin asked questions about it, letting me know he was involved enough to be distracted. At least, I was hoping he was as I bustled around to finish his cup of coffee.

Once done, I made sure everything was clean before carefully walking to the table, but not before instructing Jin to close his eyes.

“Are they closed?” I asked, squinting at him as I shielded the cup of coffee.

With his arms still crossed, his eyes were closed as a smile remained comfortably on his face. “They’re closed, Faeryn.”

I took a deep breath in preparation. “Okay, but you have to keep them closed. No peeking!”

His chest rumbled with amusement. “I won’t peek.”

“Good,” I breathed out, sharing a giddy smile with Yoongi as I walked to the table. Carefully setting the cup down onto one of the coasters I’d crocheted, I jumped up and clasped my hands together. “Okay, you can open now! Wait, wait, not yet!”

I hurried to him, grasped his forearm to stabilize myself, and pushed onto my tip-toes to kiss him. He returned my kiss, dipping his face to allow me better access to him.

Dizzy as I broke the kiss, I kept his forearm in my grasp as I led him to the table. “You can open your eyes now.”

Opening his eyes, his features softened when he saw his mug filled to the brim with coffee. “It looks delicious.” Leaning down, he pressed another kiss to my swollen lips. “Thank you.”

Beaming, I pressed, “You have to taste it to make sure it’s delicious.”

With a chuckle, he agreed and let me lead him to a chair to sit. Once seated, I handed him the coffee and coaxed, “Take a little sip first—because it’s hot.”

He brought the cup to his lips, and instinctively, I caressed his cheek, coaxing again, “A little sip.”

He looked at me, arching a brow, and I blushed, quickly removing my hand from his cheek.

“Sorry,” I squeaked. “I just don’t want you to burn your tongue.”

His brows wavered as fond amusement fought to show. “I’ll be careful.”

“Okay,” I said breathily as I showed a quick nod. “That’s good.”

As I asked of him, he took a small sip—not enough to burn his tongue but enough to taste the coffee. I watched his throat work as he swallowed, feeling my stomach twist with arousal as I thought back to our time earlier—how he had swallowed after tasting me.

With a sharp shudder, my next breath was stammered. “Is it good?”

“Mm.” He set the cup down. “Very good. Thank you, Faeryn.” Grasping my jaw, he used it to pull my face to his. “Did you enjoy making it a surprise?”

I nodded eagerly. “Yeah.”

He kissed me, making me melt with appreciation as he pulled me onto his lap. Circling his arms around me, he applied firm pressure as he deepened our kiss.

I could taste the sweetness of the coffee on his tongue, and enjoying it, I kissed him harder, lapping up the taste almost greedily.

I only hesitated when I realized I hadn’t really kissed the others in front of Yoongi, and with pink cheeks, I broke the kiss. My actions earned a low, questioning rumble from Jin, and I jolted in place, blurting, “I haven’t really kissed you in front of—” I swallowed roughly, braving a glance at Yoongi before looking away. “In front of Yoongi before.”

Jin looked from me to Yoongi and gauged my expression before rasping, “I don’t think he minds.”

I blinked rapidly, slowly turning to look at Yoongi. “You…you don’t?”

Yoongi looked back at me, his features set rigidly as he took note of my lips—slightly puffy from Jin. “No,” he said eventually, his voice lower than before. “I don’t mind.”

The air whooshed out of me. “Oh, I—I didn’t know that.”

“What have I told you about asking before making assumptions?” Jin spoke lightly, but the hint of disapproval in his tone made my lower lip wobble.

Yoongi clocked the movement immediately and came to my defense. “She was anxious to ask; it’s all right. She can ask whenever she’s ready to ask, and she did.”

“Yes,” Jin responded drily, taking my chin back in his grasp. “She can, but she’s been harboring this thought process for a while, hasn’t she?”

I averted my gaze, only looking back at him when he shook my chin lightly; a warning to respond.

“I don’t know,” I managed. “I just didn’t know if it would make him uncomfortable because we just—I mean, we just had our first kiss, and I…I didn’t know what was okay or…or not okay.”

“This is why we communicate, Faeryn,” Jin admonished. “You can’t sit with what if’s and overthink situations you can choose to communicate about.” His gaze turned stern. “You know that.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I…I know, but sometimes I get a little scared about communicating, but I’m trying, Jin, I really am.” Glancing at Yoongi, I added quietly, “I’m sorry for making assumptions instead of communicating.”

“It’s all right,” he negated my apology. “There’s no need to apologize; I understand that communication can be difficult, especially when you’re still learning that you won’t be chastised for doing so.”

Jin’s hold on me tightened to the point of pain. “We won’t ever be upset with you for communicating with us,” he said heatedly. “Do you understand me? We are always here to listen and talk things through with you, but we can’t do that, Faeryn, if you don’t communicate with us first.”

I couldn’t nod with the rigid hold he had on my face, so I pushed out a warbled confirmation.

“You’re not in trouble,” he spoke to my anxious expression. “You’re being reminded of the importance of communication; that’s what this is. Yes?”

“Yes, Jin,” I stammered.

Yoongi drummed his fingers against the table. “You could be gentler.”

Jin slowly turned to look at him. “Excuse me?”

“Your approach,” Yoongi responded. “You could be gentler.”

Jin angled his face back to mine, and his features loosened slightly when he tracked my quivering lip. An inch softer, he prompted me, “Was I too harsh?”

“I’m trying,” I whispered. “To be better.”

He neglected my chin to cup my face in both his hands, his palms warm and heavy on my face. “I know, Faeryn, and you’re not in trouble. I’ve seen your progress with communication, and I’m very proud of you—we all are.”

“Really?” I asked quietly, testing the waters.

“Yes, really.” He kissed my forehead protectively. “Very proud of you.”

I began to settle. “That’s really great.”

He pulled me to him for a hug, letting the pressure from his chest seep into mine to keep me grounded and comforted.

“I’m sorry if I scared you or made you nervous,” he spoke into my hair. “I’ll be gentler in the future.”

I clung to him. “Thank you.” I peeked over at Yoongi. “Thank you, too.”

He shook his head the slightest bit. “There’s no need.”

Jin caressed my hair before clasping the back of my neck and squeezing firmly. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“You already said thank you,” I told him, nuzzling against his shoulder as I relaxed.

“Are you keeping me from thanking you?”

“You stop me from thanking you all the time,” I responded haughtily, squeaking in slight alarm once the clapback left me.

He rubbed reassurance into my back as his chest vibrated with a low chuckle. “What does Jimin call you, Faeryn?”

“Honey?” I tried.

“Correct, but what does he call you when you’re being a bit of a brat?”

“A brat?” I protested, a bright red. “I’m not a brat, and I’m not mean.”

“Mhm, that’s what it was.” I heard the smile in his voice. “His sweet mean woman. Is that not it?”

“Stop,” I mumbled, embarrassed. “I was just telling you the truth.”

“Mhm.” He continued rubbing my back, offering light pats every so often. “Reject my thanks all you’d like, Faeryn. I won’t stop you, but I won’t stop thanking you either.”

“Fine,” I mumbled, shifting on his lip as I gnawed on my lip. “I will.”

“Thank you.”

I turned to Yoongi, bewildered at the thanks he just offered me.

“Why are you thanking me?” I sputtered.

He was smiling. Soft. Kind. “For making me smile.” With a slight tilt of his head, he added, “And to see if you would like to refute my thanks as you did to Jin’s.”

Blushing intensely, I gripped Jin’s shirt for solace. “I don’t—but Yoongi, I don’t want to be thanked for that.”

“That’s fine. Although now I’m glad you know that I’m thankful because I said it.”

My blush grew, and flustered, I stammered incoherently before turning my flushed features to Jin.

He arched a brow. “Satisfied?”

“No,” I stuttered. “I don’t want to be thanked.”

“Neither do we.”

My shoulders hunched in defeat. “This isn’t fair.”

He kissed my forehead. “You’ll be fine.”

I hit his chest before I could think about it, blinking at him rapidly as I awaited retribution. Instead, he looked amused, making me squirm when he stated, “It’s like Jimin said; our sweet mean woman.”

“What’s this I hear about our sweet mean woman?” Jimin announced himself, and even as my features brightened at the sight of him, a small pout remained on my lips. “Oh, honey, why are you pouting? Are they bothering you?”

“Bothering her,” Jin mused as he curled his fingers through my hair. “Are we bothering you, Faeryn—Yoongi and I?”

I shook my head, but still, my pout remained.

“Poor thing,” Jimin sympathized. “Jin’s bothering you, isn’t he? I’m sure Yoongi is minding his business.”

“Not entirely true,” Yoongi negated lightly. “She doesn’t want to be thanked, and Jin and I thanked her.”

Jimin’s brows lifted. “You provoked her? Yoongi,” he tutted. “You know better than to follow in Jin’s mean footsteps.”

Yoongi’s lips lifted. “Now that I’ve thanked her for her smile, I won’t need to do it again; I can thank her once for everything, that way she knows.”

Jimin’s brows eased. “That’s incredibly sweet.” After giving him a look of approval, he shifted his gaze to Jin and me. “And you?” he prompted Jin. “Were you sweet, or did you make my sweet girl upset?”

Jin pressed a kiss to my forehead without breaking eye contact with Jimin. “Watch your wording.”

Jimin clicked his tongue. “She can be your sweet girl once you’re sweet to her. Isn’t that right, honey? Hm? You just want Jin to be sweet to you?”

I looked at Jin with wide eyes, watching him keep me within his intense gaze. “I don’t know,” I managed.

“He was calling you our sweet mean woman for a reason,” Jimin continued. “Hm? Were you being a little mean because he was mean to you first?”

“I’m not mean,” I defended myself, high-pitched. “I just—” I focused on Jin’s shirt as my voice dipped to a mumble. “Hit him.”

“Hit him?” Jimin’s exaggerated surprise made my cheeks heat. “Oh, honey, that’s not very nice.”

“But he called me mean,” I insisted.

“Ah,” Jimin teased. “So you had to be mean back and hit him. Mhm, of course. That makes a lot of sense.”

I buried my face in my hands, and next my words came out muffled. “I want Hobi.”

“That’s not true, is it, Faeryn?” was Jin’s dry response. “You just want to be coddled.”

“Hoseok’s nice,” I defended.

“Was I not nice to you this morning?” Jin prompted. “Or should I have been rougher—meaner—like Namjoon?”

Jimin chuckled in surprise. “Did you spend some time with Jin this morning? Hm? Did he make you feel good?”

My chest heaved with arousal, I kept glancing at Yoongi since he’d never been around for sexual talk like this, and quickly, I became overwhelmed.

“It’s okay, baby, hey, it’s okay,” Jimin reassured me, chuckling fondly as he walked to me. “We can stop. I know this must be a little too much teasing first thing in the morning, huh?”

I managed a nod, and he cooed down at me, kissing me softly as Jin tilted my chin to allow it.

“We’ll stop,” he reiterated gently. “Our poor baby. What can we do to make you feel better? Do you want some tea? Or maybe you’d like to go on a little coffee run with me. How does that sound?”

“Now who’s coddling her?” Jin drawled, but he hadn’t once stopped rubbing reassurance into my back.

“Oh, shh,” Jimin chided him lightly. Playfully. “She’s too sweet not to coddle. Isn’t that right, honey?”

I blushed, squirming in Jin’s lap as I decided, “Coffee run, please.”

“You want to come with me on my coffee run?” Jimin caressed my cheek fondly. “Are you in the mood for a latte?” When I nodded, he kissed me once more before offering a light squeeze to the top of my knee. “Say your goodbyes to Jin and Yoongi, okay? I’ll grab my wallet and be right back down. Don’t,” he added when he saw my lips part in protest, “ask to pay. I offered the coffee run, so I’m paying.”

Defeated, I glanced over at Yoongi. “If we went together, would you let me pay?”

Jimin sighed as if he was disappointed with me, but I knew he was teasing me by the twitch of his lips. “You can’t always get your way. Whether Yoongi comes or not, I’m still paying for your coffee.”

Again, I asked Yoongi, “Would you let me pay?”

“If you would like to, yes,” was his decisive response. “You could pay for the drinks, and I could pay for the food.”

I perked up and looked at Jimin triumphantly. “He would let me pay.”

“Too bad he’s not the one who offered to take you on a coffee run then, huh?” he answered, amused. “Come on, Yoongi. Put your shoes on; let’s go get some coffee, the three of us.”

My features lit up. “Yoongi, do you want to? It would be fun.”

A miniature smile met Yoongi’s lips. “I would like to.”

I clasped my hands together excitedly, looking up at Jin as my features shone with giddiness. “Yoongi’s going to get coffee with us.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “I heard.”

“Do you want to come, too?” I wondered hopefully. “We can all have coffee.”

“I have coffee right here,” he responded, tilting his chin toward the cup I brewed him. “I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

“You could put it in a travel mug,” Jimin pointed out. “Quickly though if you’re joining us. The cafe’s been running out of my favorite drink toward this time, so I want to get there before it happens.”

“Please come,” I said, tugging Jin’s shirt plaintively. “I want you with us.”

He lifted his hand from my back to gently caress my hair. “I have a meeting this morning.”

My features dropped. “Oh.”

He kissed my lips, then my cheek. “We’ll get coffee another day, yes? Make it a date.”

“All four of us?” I asked, my voice brimming with hope.

“All four of us,” he confirmed. “Sometime soon, Faeryn. We’ll figure it out.”

Excited for the future date, I threw my arms around his neck for a tight squeeze. “Thank you.”

“What have I said about thanking me?”

Pulling away, I looked at his lips somewhat shyly before kissing him.

He showed his approval with a firm squeeze to my waist, and once I pulled away, he set me on my feet and nudged me toward Jimin. “Go put your shoes on.”

“I’ll miss you,” I told him.

A smile fought its way onto his face. “I’ll miss you too, Faeryn, now go put your shoes on.”

“One more kiss?” I tried.

“Faeryn.”

I fiddled with the bottom of my shirt. “Okay. No more kisses.”

He shook his head, amused, and motioned me forward. Elated, I hurried to him and claimed my final kiss before waving Yoongi forward to follow Jimin and me to put our shoes on.

 

Notes:

Jin finally had his time with Faeryn after so long on the sidelines😩😼

Also!! The scene with Yoongi was an idea from UnburntKhaleesi 🫂 I just thought it was so cute and had to write it!! I hope I did the idea justice 🥹🩷

Chapter 32: Coffee's Swirl, Trauma's Whir

Summary:

Faeryn opens up to Jimin and Yoongi during their coffee run, but she gets upset with Jungkook once she returns home. Later, she and Yoongi disappear into his room for their singing date.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

After Jimin, Yoongi, and I grabbed our coffee at the cafe, my hand was safely clasped in Jimin’s as we walked along the cobblestone sidewalk.

“Window shopping is nice,” Yoongi decided, grabbing my attention.

“I like it, too,” I shared, excited to have another thing in common. “What’s your favorite part of it?”

“Not needing to go inside a crowded shop is nice,” he responded.

Jimin chuckled, teasing, “He prefers online shopping to both.”

“Yes,” Yoongi confirmed with a hint of a smile. “Online shopping is best.”

“I don’t like crowded shops either,” I encouraged. “Online shopping is really fun because you don’t have to buy anything, so it’s like window shopping too.”

“That is true,” he agreed. “Window shopping from the comfort of your home.”

“Yeah!” I beamed. “That’s really great.”

His smile grew at the corners of his lips. “Have you told Jimin why you say that?”

“That’s really great?” I wondered. When Yoongi nodded, Jimin asked me, “There’s a reason?”

“Well…echolalia,” I explained.

“Echolalia,” he echoed with a tilt of his head. “I feel like I know what that is. It can be a common symptom of Autism, right, honey? When I was looking into Autism online, I’m sure I read that somewhere.”

I brightened. “You looked up Autism?”

“Of course I did,” he confirmed, his brows wavering the slightest bit. “Why wouldn’t I?”

I blinked. “Oh, I…I don’t know. You’re really busy, so I didn’t think—”

“That I wouldn’t have time or make time to look into something that affects your everyday life?” He studied my features closely. “I will always make time for you, and learning more about Autism is learning more about you. I want to know everything about you.”

I looked up at him in confused awe. “Really? It’s not tedious to learn about Autism?”

“Not even a little bit,” he said, concern mingling with the light surprise in his tone. “Why would it be tedious?”

I blanked for a moment, not wanting to ruin our coffee run with memories of Ryker. However, at my sudden silence, Jimin seemed to recognize the cause for it, and anger mixed with the pain lining his forehead.

“You can talk about it,” he told me, keeping his tone soft despite his rising anger. “It’s okay to.”

“Healthy, as well,” Yoongi added lowly, surprising me at the suppressed anger lacing his tone.

I took a deep breath, hesitating as I looked between them. “Ryker just…I don’t know. Said something.”

“What did he say?” Jimin prompted. When I didn’t respond, he added, “He’s not here, Faeryn. You’re safe to talk about it.”

I looked up at him, then. My chin wobbled slightly. “You don’t call me that.”

He paused. “Call you what?”

“Faeryn,” I managed, my mind whirring as Ryker came to the forefront of it. “You—you don’t call me that.”

“You don’t want me to call you by your name?” he asked, confused as his concern heightened.

“You call me honey,” I whispered as my hold on his hand loosened. “You—you call me that.”

“Okay,” he soothed as he began to understand. “It’s okay. I won’t call you Faeryn right now, okay?”

I nodded quickly.

He took a moment before gently asking, “Does calling you by your name when I usually call you honey make you feel like I’m upset or that I will be upset? Is that what happened with Ryker?”

My breath hitched. “He called me Fae, but when he was really mad at me, he would call me Faeryn.”

“I’m not mad at you, honey.” Jimin squeezed my hand tightly, dipping his face down to mine. “Okay? Hm? Is thinking about Ryker making you feel a little confused?”

I hung my head. “Making me confused.”

“Oh, honey, it’s okay.” He slipped his hand around my waist, keeping me glued to his side. “You don’t have to talk about him anymore if you don’t want to; I know it must be hard.”

My throat tightened. “But…but Jin says we should communicate about our feelings, even if we’re scared.”

“You don’t have to,” Jimin negated softly.

“I…I know,” I agreed quietly. “But I don’t want to be scared, and…and after we talk about it, I can talk about something different really quick, okay? Right? I can?”

“Of course you can,” he confirmed. “You can change the topic at any time.”

I took the best deep breath that I could, and subconsciously, I offered my arm to Yoongi. He accepted immediately, letting me loop my arm through his.

“It will be all right,” he told me. “You’re safe to talk about it and safe to feel whatever feelings it brings. Safe,” he reiterated strongly. “You’re safe, and we’re right here to ensure that.”

His words made me relax slightly, and with my body pressed firmly into Jimin’s and my arm through Yoongi’s, bravery made a small home in my chest. Working with it, I swallowed around the emotion in my throat, taking my time before beginning to speak.

“One time,” I began slowly. Tremulously. “I…I wasn’t speaking to Ryker. It was when I first lived with him—and when he was still pretending to be nice.” I swallowed again. “He yelled at me because I was having trouble finding a job, and he was tired of working while I just applied for jobs. It…it was after my grandparents died, and the money they had given me was paying for rent, but that would run out soon, and…and Ryker didn’t want to pay rent, so I needed to get a job really fast.”

When I trailed off, Yoongi dipped his chin, letting me know he was there as Jimin caressed my waist to convey the same message.

“I…I found a job at a supermarket,” I revealed shakily. “But it was really overstimulating. The lights were really bright, and the managers wouldn’t let me put sunglasses on or wear earplugs, saying I was just overly sensitive and needed to grow up, and I just—I burned out really quickly and quit.”

Embarrassed, I stared at the cobblestone as we walked slowly along it as I spoke.

“I didn’t mean to quit,” I whispered. “I was just so tired. Management kept yelling at me to go faster, and my co-workers would gossip about me when I was right there, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. And…and Ryker was so mad at me when I told him I quit.”

Jimin and Yoongi’s respective holds on me increased at what my words implied.

I tensed as I revealed, “That was the first time that…that he hit me. He just—he said I was stupid and that I should’ve been able to hold down an easy job at the supermarket, and he…he said that I was using Autism as an excuse to be lazy.”

My lip quivered, and my eyes filled slightly. “I locked myself in my room, and I…” I looked between Jimin and Yoongi, desperate to make them believe my next words. “I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop.”

It took Jimin a moment to push his anger back to ask, “You didn’t mean to do what?”

“I was just trying to make the pressure in my head go away,” I insisted, embarrassed and ashamed.

Yoongi was quiet. Then, “You hit yourself. Your head.”

I couldn’t look at him as I nodded.

Jimin looked over my head at Yoongi before looking down at me, concerned and upset. “Do you hit your head often?”

Defeated, I revealed, “It happens during meltdowns. That’s…that’s what I didn’t want to tell you when you and I talked about me being Autistic for the first time.”

Remembrance flooded his features, and shaking his head rigidly, he kissed the top of my head multiple times. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just your attempt to regulate, isn’t it?”

I paused before nodding quickly.

“We can try other things to help you regulate,” he said rigidly, still struggling to fight against his anger toward Ryker. “Things that don’t cause you harm, okay? But don’t shame yourself for doing what you felt would help in that moment. I know it must be scary to talk about it, but there’s no need to be embarrassed. Not with us.”

I relaxed a tremendous amount, nuzzling my face in his side before looking up at him gratefully to convey my thanks.

He kissed my forehead in response. “It’s okay.”

My chest stammered with my next deep breath. “I’m…I’m going to keep talking about it, okay? Almost done, and then I’ll…I’ll change the topic, okay?”

“Take as much time as you need,” he murmured. “We’re listening.”

My heart filled with gratitude, and after a moment, I was able to resume. “When I was in my room, he stayed outside of it and kept banging on it, telling me I was stupid and dramatic and hitting myself for attention.” Just to make sure they knew, I told them, “That’s not why I hit my head.”

“We know,” Yoongi confirmed. “You don’t have to explain yourself to us. We understand.”

My fingers turned white from their hold on Jimin. “Thank you,” I managed. “After…after a few hours, I finally opened the door after he promised to stop yelling at me, and he gave me a hug and told me that if I forgave him for saying what he did when I was in my room and for hitting me, he would learn more about Autism for me.”

Yoongi and Jimin went very still, making all three of us halt in the middle of the sidewalk.

I blinked up at them, slightly alarmed. “What is it?”

“He told you,” Jimin repeated ever so slowly, “that he would learn more about your disability—something that impacts your life, relationships, and how you process the world around you—only if you forgave him for abusing you?”

My throat felt very dry when I confirmed.

Jimin released a short laugh, but it was humorless. Dry. Angry. “All right.”

I hesitated. “All right?”

“All right,” he repeated as he looked straight ahead, his thoughts whirring behind his eyes, dark and clouded with intent. “What does he look like?”

I paused, unsure. “Why?”

“Tell me what he looks like, honey. Can you do that for me, please?”

I nodded slowly, wanting nothing more than to make his anger ease, and hoping it would help, I revealed Ryker’s appearance. “He has short brown hair, black eyes, and he’s kind of tall, but not as tall as you. Just taller than me.”

“How tall? Do you know?”

“Maybe…5’6?”

“He has a massive ego for someone of his stature,” Yoongi cut in, his tone mimicking the dryness of Jimin’s.

Jimin heeded his words with a curt nod. Finally, his eyes tore from in front of him down to me. “You mentioned living above a cafe. It was around a thirty minute walk from HYBE, wasn’t it?”

I nodded, confused.

“Thank you.” He passed his hand through my hair before returning his arm around my waist. “I want you to know that we’re very proud of you for communicating about this, but I’m also so proud of you for telling us you had Autism—especially after experiencing how Ryker and others have treated you once you told them. That was very brave of you, and you should be proud of yourself.”

I looked at him tearfully. “I…I hoped you would all understand when I told you, and you…you didn’t just understand. You’re learning sign language, you know what to do when I’m overstimulated, and you let me talk about my special interests.” I sniffled. “I’m really glad that I told you.”

“We’re really glad that you told us.” He kissed my cheek, the action laced with protectiveness. “Always talk to us, okay? We love learning more about you or just listening to you talk about what you enjoy and are passionate about.”

“And I—I like hearing you all talk about things you like, too,” I said quickly, wanting them to know. “You watch really cool speeches online that you let me watch with you, and I really like them. You’re really smart.”

His features eased slightly. “You’re very smart, too.”

“Thank you,” I responded, touched that he thought so. “And I really like watching Yoongi create music.” I turned to Yoongi as I continued, “You’re so passionate about it, and you get so focused that you forget about your iced coffee until you complete a part of the song, and then you drink the entire cup.”

He used his hold on my arm to gently shift me closer to him. “I like when you’re there with me.”

“I like being there with you,” I said quietly, resting my head on his side. With another sniffle, I took a big sip of my iced latte. “I’m going to change the subject now.”

“Go ahead,” Jimin murmured, slowly beginning to walk and lead me with him, making Yoongi follow by default.

I wiped my nose with the front of my sleeve. “I want to tell you why I say ‘that’s really great’.”

“I would love to hear about why you say that.”

I perked up slightly. “Okay. It’s because my mom recorded me saying it when I was younger, and when I grew up a little, she showed me the video and I found it funny, so now I say it.”

His soft smile appeared, laced with fondness. “That’s very sweet.”

“I looked through my iCloud after I told Yoongi,” I revealed. “And I found the video.”

“You did?” Yoongi asked, interested. “You have the video?”

“I have it,” I attested. “My mom and dad are in it, too.”

“We would love to see it,” he told me. “If you would like to show us.”

I nodded quickly. “I can show you, and then you can see my mom and dad.” Shyly, I added, “And me.”

“I’m sure you were a very cute baby,” Jimin said, a light tease in his tone—although it was laced with a strain of the anger he still felt toward Ryker. “Definitely cuter than Yoongi was.”

I looked at Yoongi immediately, watching as he cracked a smile.

“I wasn’t the cutest baby,” Yoongi explained. “In the words of my mother, I had an alien head.”

“An alien head?” I pressed indignantly. “That’s not nice.”

“She loved me despite it,” he responded fondly. “She never means any harm. Although the title of alien was a running joke in my family for some time.”

I gaped at him. “That’s not nice.”

He chuckled at my indignant expression. “It’s a fond memory, Faeryn. It’s all right; it never offended me.”

I looked at Jimin after a moment of mulling this over. “Don’t say he wasn’t a cute baby.”

“I never said he wasn’t cute,” he explained with a kiss on my nose. “Just that he wasn’t as cute as you.”

“We were both cute babies,” I decided.

“You haven’t seen any of his baby pictures,” Jimin teased fondly.

“But I know he was cute,” I defended. “Besides, babies don’t have control over how they look anyway. None of us do. We’re all pretty—that’s what Taehyung says.”

“Taehyung’s right,” Jimin agreed with a chuckle. “I was just teasing Yoongi, but you’re right. I won’t say he wasn’t a cute baby.”

I kissed his side. “Best.”

“Best what, honey?”

“You’re the best.” I squeeze Yoongi’s hand. “Yoongi, too. Yoongi’s the best, too.” With another sip of my coffee, I announced as my tears slowly disappeared and decided not to grace my cheeks, “I’ll show you the video after work so everybody can see if they want.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Jimin praised. “I’m sure they’ll want to see.” Momentarily, he mused, “I’m sure we have baby albums somewhere at home. I know Jungkook does.”

“Really?” I asked, excited.

Jimin confirmed, “He does. When he took Namjoon to visit his family for the first time, Namjoon was enraptured by the photo albums Jungkook’s mother showed him, so she let him keep one.”

“That was so nice of her,” I gushed.

“She’s very sweet,” Jimin agreed. “We’ve all met her, and I know she’s already heard a lot about you from Jungkook.”

My eyes widened. “She has?”

“Oh, of course. Jungkook rambles on and on about his new friend all the time during phone calls with her.”

“Does…does she know that we’re…more than just friends?” I wondered with a blush.

“She knew that he and Namjoon were dating well before he confirmed it.” He chuckled. “Mothers know everything.”

“Do you think she’ll be okay with it?”

“I’m sure she will. All she cares about is Jungkook’s happiness, and you make him happy. That, and you’re very lovable.” He pressed me closer to his side. “She’ll love you; all of our parents will.”

I looked up at him adoringly. “Thank you for saying that.”

“You don’t have to thank me for telling the truth, sweet girl. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

I thought for a moment before saying rather quietly, “Thank you for letting me know you’ll always tell the truth. I…I didn’t believe you or the others when you said it at first, but I believe it now. Every time you say it, and even when you don’t.”

“Oh, honey,” he murmured, stopping our walk once again to put his full attention on me. Lowering his face to mine, he tilted my chin gently and pressed his lips to mine. Gentle, soft kisses, and he pulled away to brush our noses together several times. “It makes me so happy to hear that.”

I offered my lips for another kiss, and he bestowed it easily, lavishing my lips in such a tender fashion.

Once we pulled away, I was breathless when I turned to Yoongi.

“I trust you, too,” I said headily. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he returned with a slow dip of his chin, “for letting yourself trust me.”

I inched closer to him. “Can…can we kiss?”

“Would you like to?”

I nodded quickly, and as a soft smile filled his features, he gingerly pressed our lips together. His lips were firmer than Jimin’s, not as soft, but they ignited my stomach with all the same feelings; trust, adoration, excitement, safety, and maybe something more. Maybe something that felt a lot like love.

When our kiss had concluded, I breathed in the fresh air surrounding us, not at all dampened by what my words had revealed about Ryker and myself.

With a happier sniffle than before, I told them as we resumed walking, “I have to do dry needling.”

“Jin mentioned that,” Yoongi responded. “How do you feel about that?”

“Nervous,” I admitted. “But he says it’s like acupuncture, and acupuncture relaxes him, so…maybe it will relax me too, right?”

“It could,” Yoongi agreed. “For your sake, I hope it does, and if not, you don’t have to do it forever.”

My shoulders slumped slightly, relieved at the thought. “Yeah. It’s not forever. I just need to get past two weeks.”

He smiled. “That’s right.”

“You both say that a lot,” Jimin mentioned. “Is there a reason?”

“Oh.” I nodded good-naturedly. “Yeah.” Then, I glanced at Yoongi, wondering if he wanted to explain.

He understood what my expression read and revealed to Jimin, “It’s alluding to the two weeks required for trying new medication; a trial and error time period that will pass.”

Jimin looked at the two of us, regarding us fondly. “That’s a nice thing to have for the two of you to say; a reminder that hard things pass. They always do.”

I side-hugged him as we walked. “I really like that we have it. It’s…it’s like our thing.”

“It is,” Yoongi responded decisively. “It’s our thing.”

I switched from side-hugging Jimin to side-hugging Yoongi.

“Two weeks will pass,” I confirmed, pausing when a certain shop caught my eye. “Oh! Let’s window shop at this one.”

Jimin chuckled as Yoongi led me toward it. “What caught your eye, honey? Something fancy and shiny that Jungkook would like?”

I grinned. “Yeah.” I pointed at the chandelier visible from where we stood. “Those.”

Jimin laughed lightly. “We should buy him a chandelier for his room. He would love that, huh?”

“He would,” I gushed. “Can we take a picture inside of me pretending to hold it like the Polaroid picture I gave him?”

Jimin smiled. “Of course we can, honey. Whatever you want.”

“Thank you!” With a small cheer, I looked up at Yoongi. “Do you want to stay outside? We can go in really quickly for the picture so you don’t have to go in somewhere crowded.”

“You’re going in.” He nodded curtly. “So will I.”

“Are you sure? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I want to go where you go.”

I blushed, swaying lightly in my spot before managing, “Okay. I—I want that, too.”

Jimin chuckled. “Let’s go inside together, then.” Holding the door for the two of us, he waited until we walked inside before joining us.

We ended up browsing the shop after Yoongi confirmed he was okay with it, and I claimed his and Jimin's hands once I disposed of my coffee as we walked through aisle after aisle, talking about certain products that I liked or thought they would like—and what everyone at home would like.

We couldn’t stay long since we had work in an hour, so we left with the promise to come back soon.

꧁꧂

 

“Again,” Jungkook whined as he begged me to replay my baby video for the fifth time. “Just look at how chubby your little cheeks were.”

As he watched my three-year-old self waddling around on my phone, he subconsciously reached at my cheeks to pinch them, cooing at my baby self as if she could hear him.

“You’ve been triggering Jungkook’s cuteness aggression a lot lately,” Hoseok said fondly as he caressed both Jungkook’s and my hair absently, both of us sitting on either side of him. “I’d say this video’s made it worse.”

“You can’t blame me,” Jungkook insisted. “Just look at her, hyung. She’s so much cuter than Yoongi was as a baby.”

I gaped at him. “Jungkook!”

He jumped slightly at the unexpected volume of my voice, turning to look at me with wide eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t say that about Yoongi,” I scolded. “He was a very cute baby.”

He blinked slowly. “Have you…seen him as a baby?”

“No,” I agreed reluctantly, showing a small scowl. “But don’t be mean and say that about him.”

From the other side of Jungkook, Namjoon chuckled. “She might send you into time out, bub.”

“I won’t,” I refuted, huffing as I settled further into Hoseok’s side and curled my legs to the side of me. “I’ll just scold him until he stops.”

Jungkook blinked again. “Yoongi doesn’t mind.”

“I mind,” I shot back.

He stared at me, wide-eyed. “Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t say that he wasn’t a cute baby even if he wasn’t.”

“Jungkook!”

He released a startled peep and blurted, “Sorry!”

Jimin’s laughter rang through the room as he entered from the kitchen. “Kookie, you know better. Someone needs to behave, hm?”

Jungkook gaped at him before looking up at Namjoon, almost as if wondering what retribution awaited him—or what punishment.

I shivered.

Namjoon caught the movement from me, and a low chuckle left him. “None of that,” he inadvertently responded to me as he massaged the back of Jungkook’s neck, helping the latter to relax. “Let’s all be nice to each other. Do you think we can do that?”

I peeked over at Jungkook who peeked right back at me. “Be nice,” I reminded him. “To Yoongi—and his past baby self.”

“I will,” he promised. “It’s just funny.”

I sighed, earning a chuckle from the three others present. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked, diverting the topic.

Jungkook gnawed on his lip as he looked at me, trying to gauge what I felt before slowly lowering his eyes back to my phone to replay my baby video.

Namjoon chuckled, easing Jungkook closer to him and wrapping his arms around the side of his body. “The others should be down soon. I heard, Faeryn, that you’re having a date in Yoongi’s room tonight.”

I shrugged, curling closer to Hoseok in response.

Namjoon cocked a brow, amused. “Are you upset with Jungkook?”

Jungkook looked up at the mention of his name, waiting for my response.

“He needs to be nice,” I stated. “And it’s not nice to make fun of how someone looks, even if it’s when they were just a baby.”

Jungkook’s features dropped, and he hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Yoongi said he’s fine with it,” Namjoon supplemented with a reassuring to Jungkook’s arm. “If he’s fine with it, Faeryn, it’s not your place to say otherwise, although I understand why you would think it’s mean.”

“But it is mean,” I insisted.

“To you,” he confirmed. “Is what you consider mean the same as what Yoongi considers mean?”

“Mean is mean,” I said, confused and subdued. Unsure, I added, “Right?”

“We’re all different,” he responded. “And because of that, we experience life differently. He’s endeared by the teasing; he’s said so himself, otherwise, we wouldn’t tease him. Do you understand that?”

I twisted the ends of my shirt. “Yeah, but I…I don’t want his feelings to be hurt.”

“They’re not hurt,” Jungkook cut in. “I don’t want to hurt hyung’s feelings either, Faeryn, I swear.”

Confused, I fell silent, not understanding.

Yoongi walked into the room dressing in sweatpants and a sweatshirt with his hair slightly damp from a shower. He looked at all of us at the sudden silence upon his appearance. Slowly, he asked, “What is it?”

Jungkook blurted, “Faeryn thinks we’re hurting your feelings by saying you weren’t a cute baby.”

Yoongi’s attention shifted to mine. “I told you it was all right, Faeryn. It doesn’t offend me.”

Confused, a small squeak left me, and I tensed as confusion ran rampant.

“Would it hurt your feelings, sweetheart?” Hoseok asked softly. “Is that why it’s confusing you? You’re not able to differentiate?”

I hesitated. “We’re supposed to treat people how we want to be treated, just like that saying; ‘Do to others what you would have them do to you’.”

“That’s right,” he confirmed gently. “But that saying is not always meant to be taken literally.”

Aghast, I managed, “What?”

“It’s like Namjoon said,” he continued to explain, all the while caressing my hair. “What offends you might not offend somebody else.” When I kept looking at him in confused shock, he shifted me closer to him and tried to explain it in more depth. “You like mustard on your cheese sandwiches.”

Unsure of where he was going with this, I nodded.

“All right,” he encouraged. “But Jin doesn’t like mustard or cheese sandwiches. Let’s say you were making a cheese sandwich with mustard and thought, ‘I would want someone to make me a cheese sandwich so I’m going to make one for Jin’. Do you think Jin would like the sandwich?”

My thoughts bumped into each other. “No.”

“That’s right,” he attested. “That’s why we don’t take that saying too literally.”

“But…but I could make Jin another sandwich,” I tried. “A turkey sandwich with lettuce; he likes those.”

“He does, sweetheart. That’s right. You could make him a turkey sandwich with lettuce.”

“He’s right,” Namjoon supplemented, watching me closely. “Not everyone wants to be treated the same as someone else wants to be treated.”

I blinked rapidly. “Then why do people always say ‘do to others what you would have them do to you’?”

“It’s figurative; it’s a way to tell people to be kind.”

“How am I supposed to know the difference between figurative and literal?” I stressed.

“You can ask us,” he assured. “You can always ask us.”

I couldn’t look at Jungkook. “I…I feel so stupid. That means I just scolded Jungkook for no reason.” Wiping my nose, I whispered, “I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I’ll never do it again.”

He flung himself over Namjoon to get to me, squeezing me incredibly tight once he reached me. “It’s okay,” he said breathily. “I’m not mad—not even a little bit, swear. You were just confused and really thought I was being mean, so of course you scolded me; you didn’t want Yoongi’s feelings to be hurt.”

Deflated, I rested my forehead on his shoulder, my words muffled the next time I spoke. “I’ll try to understand figurative things better, I promise, and I won’t scold you for…for saying Yoongi wasn’t cute as a baby.”

He pulled back slightly to see me with furrowed, worried brows. “Just because we tease him that he wasn’t the cutest baby, that doesn’t mean we don’t love him—just in case you thought that. He finds it funny, and he says it’s an endearing tease because his family used to tease him about it.”

“That is true,” Yoongi confirmed. “Don’t worry about my feelings being hurt, Faeryn. I’m all right. This certain joke is okay otherwise I wouldn’t have said so.”

I chewed on my lip. “Yeah, because…because you say what you mean, and that’s literal, not figurative.”

“Correct,” he agreed just as Namjoon added, “When we speak to you, especially about important things, we’re being literal unless we say otherwise. You don’t have to worry about that with us.”

I relaxed a bit. “That’s good. I’ll…I’ll get better at being able to tell what’s figurative, right?”

“Pattern recognition can help with that, but it’s okay if there’s something you can’t understand. You can just ask us, and we’ll tell you.”

I squeezed Jungkook. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he rushed to say. “It’s just a misunderstanding, right? And we communicated, and now everything’s fine just like it was before. Right, Joon?”

“That’s right,” Namjoon agreed. “Everything’s fine. More than fine, actually.” A twinge of fondness mixed with the teasing twinkling in his features. “Especially now that Yoongi and Faeryn can have their date. I’m sure they’re both very excited.”

Yoongi and I both blushed, although the shades of red were different.

“Why don’t you go with Yoongi now, sweetheart?” Hoseok gently nudged me forward. “I’m sure you’ll both have a nice time together.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at the two of us. “Are you both going to have…” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Sex?”

I hit his arm in protest as his words only worsened my blush. “Jungkook,” I whisper-yelled.

He squeaked. “Sorry!”

With a little whine, I hid my face in my hands.

“Sorry, sorry,” he continued, cupping my face and pressing kisses to my hands until I lowered them to allow him access to me. “But Yoongi won’t let it make things awkward; he’s nice like that.”

I pouted, and Jungkook cooed at me, pushing my cheeks together and kissing my lips in quick succession.

Jimin chuckled. “There he goes again with his cuteness aggression. Is she just too cute, Kookie?”

“The cutest,” Jungkook breathed out before deepening the next kiss.

“Let her go, bub,” Namjoon instructed, amused. “You don’t want to make her late for her date, do you?”

“No,” Jungkook mumbled, grudgingly releasing my face.

When I saw his sad expression, I grabbed his face and kissed him multiple times, earning a few breathless giggles from him.

Jimin laughed. “Now they both have cuteness aggression.”

“They can’t help it, can they?” I heard Namjoon’s smile as he spoke. “They’re very sweet.”

“Very,” Hoseok voiced his approval with a squeeze to my waist. “Now go on, sweetheart. Go with Yoongi.”

I untangled myself from Jungkook—but only after a few more kisses—and hurried to Yoongi. I gingerly placed my hand in his, and looking up at him, I tentatively said, “I’m ready for our date now.”

He kissed the top of my hand. “As am I.”

Jimin sat on the couch where I’d just been, immediately hugged by Jungkook. “Will we see you both later tonight?” the former asked us.

Yoongi looked at me for my response, but when I looked at him for the same reason, he smiled a bit and responded for us, letting Jimin know, “You might. We’ll see.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, stepping closer to Yoongi. “We’ll see.”

Jimin smiled, bemused at the sight of us. “Have fun.”

Giddily, I waved as Yoongi and I walked to his room.

Once he closed his bedroom door behind us, I looked around, surprised to see less clutter than the last time I was in there. I didn’t comment on it, not wanting to make him feel self-conscious of it either way, but he must have seen my expression.

“It’s all right to speak on it,” he told me. “I cleaned a bit.”

“It looks nice,” I offered sincerely. “Both ways looked nice.”

He smiled. “This way looks better.”

“Both,” I amended. “Because clutter or not, it belongs to you, and that’s nice.”

He looked at me for a moment, taking his time. “You have a refreshing take on so many things, Faeryn.” He took a step toward his closet, not once looking away from me. “Another thing on my list to smile about.”

I beamed.

Arriving at his closet, he requested, “Can you close your eyes for a moment?”

I listened without hesitation, only asking after I closed them, “Why?”

“I’ll tell you in a second.”

I pushed onto my tip-toes before settling back onto my heels excitedly. “Okay.”

I heard something rolling on the floor, and it took everything I had in me to keep my eyes closed. Eventually, Yoongi’s voice appeared closer than before, making a startled squeak leave me that was quickly followed by a breathy giggle. He chuckled at that, quickly responding, “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“It’s okay,” I assured headily. “Can I open my eyes now?”

“Yes.” He was smiling; I could hear it. “You can open your eyes now.”

I clamped my hand over my mouth as soon as my eyes opened, taking in the sight of a yellow, cushioned chair. It had wheels on the bottom, letting me know it would allow me to spin around like I always did on my usual chair in his room, and an excited squeal left me.

“Yoongi!” I exclaimed. “It’s so—this is so—pretty!”

I lunged at him for a hug, only hesitating when I realized we didn’t hug that often or that easily. He caught onto the reason for my hesitation quickly and said, “We can hug.”

“Okay,” I breathed out, and closing the distance between us, I hugged him. As he gently patted my back, I knew he would only refute my thanks, so I thought hard about how to thank him. “I…” My eyes lit up. “I’m really grateful that you have this yellow chair.”

He chuckled again. “I see.”

“You see?”

“You’re thanking me inadvertently.”

Giddy, I wondered, “Did it work?”

“On me, yes. On the others? Not likely.”

“I’m happy it works on you.” I squeezed him harder before pulling back to beam at him. “And I’m happy you let me share with paying.”

“I’m happy that you’re happy, Faeryn.” His thumb gingerly caressed my chin. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy.”

“Me too,” I promised him, my eyes full of hope and adoration. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy, too. Always.”

“Always it is,” he said ever so softly. He brushed my hair away from my face nimbly, setting a few strands behind my ears to frame my face. “I’m glad we are on a date together, even if it’s just in my room.”

“‘Just in your room’ is the best date ever,” I responded nearly indignantly. “As long as we’re together.”

“As long as that,” he murmured, and with a hold of my hand, he gently led me toward the chair. “May I?”

“Yes, please,” was my breathy rejoinder.

He led me forward until I sat on the chair, and I sighed happily at the soft cushioning and head support it had.

“This is so nice,” I gushed. “Where did you get it?”

“That is a secret.”

“A secret?”

“Yes.” He carefully pushed the chair with me in it toward his desk set-up. “All the best surprises are.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

Giggling, I let my head fall back on the headrest and tilted my chin to look up at him. “Best.”

His features lit up. “Best what?”

“You’re the best.”

“I’m grateful you think so.”

My smile shone up at him. “You used my thing.”

“It’s a good thing to use.”

“We can share it.”

“I’m grateful we can share it,” he said as we arrived at his desk.

I squirmed happily in my spot. “Me too.” Swinging my feet back and forth as I sat, I stated giddily, “I feel like a princess.”

“That is because you are a princess.”

A light blush rose to my face. “I am?”

“You are. Although, perhaps you are more than that.”

“More than a princess?”

“More than a princess,” he decided. “Like a queen.”

“Like a queen,” I whispered, floored.

“The queen of my room,” he supplemented, his voice softening when his next words left him. “The queen of our home.”

I stared at him, touched. “Really?”

“Of course. Really.” He rubbed my shoulder before offering it a light pat and squeeze. “There is no one else but you, and that’s how it will stay.”

“It’s just you for me,” I hurried to say earnestly. “You and the others. Forever.”

“Forever.” His lips tugged at the corners. “Forever sounds wonderful.”

My lips parted. “You…you’re so…”

“I’m so what, Faeryn?”

I swallowed. “You’re so good with words. You’re making me feel…” I touched my stomach where it felt like butterflies were fluttering within it. “Nice. Really nice.”

“That’s what words are meant to do.”

“But yours are…so nice. You’re so nice, and I…I really like you.”

“You and your words are very nice too, Faeryn. I really like you as well.”

I clasped my hands as I watched him sit beside me on his chair. “I…I want to get you a chair just like this one but in brown; your favorite color.”

“You don’t need to. I’ll most likely buy one down the line, but for now, I’m used to the one I have. Durable. Good.” He dipped his chin. “It’s nice.”

“Okay, but if you ever want to get a matching brown chair, can you let me get it for you? Please?” Thinking fast, I added, “It would make me happy.”

“If it would make you happy,” he thought out loud slowly. “Then yes. I assume that’s all right.”

I clapped my hands together once, excited. “Thank you!” I paused. “I mean, I’m grateful you’ll let me buy you a chair when you want one.”

He hid a smile as he grabbed his headphones. “I’ll let the slip-up slide.”

I giggled. “Thank you.” I clamped my hand over my mouth. “I mean—”

His smile fought through then. “I know what you meant; it’s all right.”

I sighed gratefully. “That’s really great.”

He nodded, opening his drawer to retrieve two small pink microphones. Handing one to me, he guided my fingers to the ‘on’ button. Clicking it instinctively, I watched as it lit up.

“Pretty,” I breathed out.

“It is,” he said with his eyes on me, never dwindling. “Very pretty.”

I blushed, turning my attention to the microphone he held. “We’re sharing. Do you…do you like the color pink?”

“It’s all right. It’s a color, after all, and there is beauty in color, no matter what type it is.”

I nodded quickly. “Yeah, and I—I love the color pink.” I hesitated, unsure. “You don’t think it will make you look girly if you use it?”

His brows furrowed the slightest bit. “If it did, Faeryn, what would be the problem? There is nothing wrong with that.”

Relieved—but just to make sure—I pressed, “Really? You don’t mind?”

He seemed to understand. “Is this Ryker’s thought process?”

I nodded a bit, feeling a little embarrassed at bringing him up twice today. “Yeah. He said he wouldn’t wear or touch anything that was pink because real men don’t wear women’s colors.”

“Colors are genderless.”

“I think so too,” I agreed quickly. “But I didn’t know if you thought so too.”

“Thank you for asking me if I did,” he responded. “Now you know I don’t share his mindset. His wrong mindset, may I add.”

I smiled—but just a little. “Yeah. It’s wrong.”

He turned on his mic. “While pink isn’t my favorite color, it makes for a very nice microphone color.” He gently clinked his microphone against mine. “And we match.”

My smile grew. “We match.”

“That’s the best part.”

“The best part.” I sat up taller in my seat. “Are we going to practice singing with them?”

“We are,” he confirmed. “I thought it would be helpful to use something pretty to learn.”

“It’s a good idea,” I praised. “Really good.”

He smiled in response. “Good.” Lifting his headphones onto my ears, he let me know, “The mic is connected to them; everything you sing, you’ll hear in your ears.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes. Does that sound like fun?”

“Yes,” I gushed. “So much fun.”

He gestured to his computer screen. “You can pick what song we play if you would like. Or I can choose; whatever you’d prefer.”

“We can take turns choosing, right?” I asked.

“Yes, we can.”

“Then you can go first,” I decided. “Pick your favorite song.” I pause before supplementing shyly, “And maybe an easy one so I don’t sound too bad.”

He cracked a smile. “How about your favorite song of mine? It’s a bit of a slower tempo, isn’t it?”

I nodded eagerly. “Yes, please; that one.”

He agreed, navigating on his computer until he pulled up an instrumental track of it. “We’ll start slow,” he explained. “And we’ll keep one headphone off to let you become accustomed to the sound of your voice.”

“Okay!” I squirmed excitedly. “I’m ready.”

He pressed play, and I clutched the microphone tightly, waiting for the instrumental to get to the right part before singing. The first note I sang was off-key, and I blushed, faltering immediately, but Yoongi nodded encouragingly, mouthing, “Keep going.”

After the track ended, I whined, “That was horrible.”

“No, it was practice,” he countered fondly. “A warm-up. Let’s do a few vocal warm-ups now that you have an idea of how your voice sounds in the headphones.”

That’s what we did; warm up after warm up until my voice was warm and able to sustain the note on key for longer.

It became less embarrassing when I sang off-key and more of a reason to giggle. Yoongi smiled every time I giggled, so I began to look forward to singing off-key even if it wasn’t the goal of our singing. My goal, it seemed, was to earn his smile.

After an hour, I could sing his song without hitting as many flat notes as before, and equally as surprised as I was excited, I immediately asked for a hug. He accepted just as immediately, and I leaned over my chair to hug him.

“I don’t sound as bad anymore,” I breathed against his shoulder. “I can be a singer if I try.”

“Of course you can,” he attested concretely. “You can do whatever you want if you try.”

I kissed his neck. “I like being on a date with you.”

“Me too, Faeryn.” His arms tightened around me. “I like being on a date with you too.”

“People…kiss on dates, you know. If they want to.”

“Yes.” He sounded amused—and flustered. “Do the people on this date want to kiss?”

“This person does,” I revealed a bit too eagerly.

“I see. This…this person does as well.”

I leaned back to see him, preening when he cupped my neck to keep me in place. “Can we—?”

He kissed me in response, and I melted, enjoying every second of it. He only broke it to look at me, trail his thumb across my cheek, and kiss me again, deeper than before.

“Yoongi,” I whispered as we kissed.

He leaned back enough for me to speak. “Yes?”

“Will we…” I took a deep breath although it stammered when his lips brushed mine. “Will we ever…” I turned red. “You know. Do you what Jungkook said in the living room?”

He turned his own shade of red. “You would like to?”

I swallowed roughly, nodding tentatively.

His throat bobbed. “I see.” He moved back slightly, leaving my lips parted and aching for his. “I’m afraid I’m not—” He shook his head rigidly. “I’m not ready.”

My eyes widened a bit, and guilt was quick to course through me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to say yes; we don’t have to do it now or ever if you don’t want to. I—I just like being with you, so if you’re never ready, that’s okay.” Worriedly, I showed a quick nod to convey my sincerity. “I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured.”

“No, Faeryn, no.” He leaned forward again, closing whatever distance he put between us. “Not at all. I…I just haven’t been intimate with someone for a very long time, and I’m not sure that I’m ready to again.”

“That’s okay,” I rushed to assure him. “That’s really okay, I promise. I just asked, and you answered, so thank you for telling me.” I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him as tightly as I could. “We can do it whenever you want to, and if you never want to, then that’s okay, too. Okay? I promise.”

His hold on my neck faltered, and his hand slid down to my back before settling on his lap. “It is…all right with you if I’m never ready to have sex?”

“Of course,” I confirmed hurriedly, nuzzling my face against his shoulder. “I don’t like sex even half as much as I like you.”

He held me close. Didn’t say anything. Just held me as if I would disappear.

“Yoongi,” I murmured into his neck. “I…I don’t know if maybe your last relationship made you feel bad for not wanting to have sex…or made you feel bad because you have depression, but I won’t ever make you feel bad for any of those things. You can be you; I just want to be there with you, okay?”

He pulled me back to see me, his features scrounged slightly with feeling. Then, he pulled me back, let his lips hover over mine, and kissed me more passionately than he ever had. I gasped into it, mewling shortly after at the sheer heat intertwining us.

I didn’t have to be making skin-on-skin contact with him to feel the pulsing desire he evoked from me; the desire to be with him, to know more about him until he was my favorite book, and the desire to sit and be silent with him, just as long as we were together.

We were both panting as we pulled away, and I immediately tucked my face into his neck, holding him close for another hug.

Notes:

Writing about Ryker pisses me off lol he's a piece of shit. I can't wait to write him getting beat up by Faeryn's seven men—WAIT WHAT WHO SAID THAT⁉️

Chapter 33: With Pink Infused Cheeks, We (Try To) Communicate

Summary:

Faeryn's men shower her with praise over her new apartment set-up, but later, she embarks on a scary physical therapy visit with Namjoon that ends with an out-of-breath, furious Jungkook.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

"Shopping day," Lyric squealed as she pulled me along.

Jungkook glanced at me, wide-eyed and excited—although a bit nervous. From between Lyric and me, his arms looped through ours, he decided, "We should go somewhere fancy first."

"Exactly my thoughts," Lyric agreed cheerily, sipping on her second iced coffee of the day—the first was made in her apartment with Cheverie scolding her for using too much sugar. Jungkook had been glued to my side, nervous to interact with someone he'd never met.

Cheverie was aloof but nice to him, but still, he hadn't left my side.

Now, I patted his back reassuringly. "We'll find the best fancy place."

"I'll take pictures for Joon," he said shyly, unsure how much was okay to say about Namjoon with Lyric around.

She tutted. "Don't be shy, bunny boy. I know you're dating him, just like you're dating Fae. No judgment from me, remember? I have my own harem."

Jungkook shifted closer to me, and even though I was blushing myself, I tried to help by diverting the topic.

"Let's go in that shop," I suggested, pointing to the closest one. "I think it looks fancy."

"Yeah, fancy," Jungkook breathed out before he could even confirm. Tugging us forward, he urged, "Let's go."

I giggled, and Lyric grinned as we let Jungkook lead us inside.

Once inside, Jungkook gaped at the fancy interior design. "Look at everything," he whispered in awe. "I'm going to buy everything."

"With whose money?" Lyric asked knowingly.

"Joon's," he responded absently, his attention elsewhere.

"What about you?" Lyric asked me. "Which man from the harem decided to pay today?"

I sputtered before crossing my arms indignantly, earning a sudden protest from Jungkook when my actions made my arm fall from his. I quickly returned it to his as I told Lyric, "I'm paying for myself."

"Uh-huh," she drawled. "And whom from the harem will send you money to compensate?"

"Jin," Jungkook responded, blinking rapidly when I sent him a pout. "Sorry," he offered with a kiss on my forehead. "I'll try to stop him."

"Maybe two subs will cancel out one dom," Lyric said.

Jungkook and I hurried away to another side of the shop, earning laughter from her as she ran after us.

The three of us soon split up because of different interests, and I ended up in a dominant pink area. Clothes, furniture, accessories—everything I could think of was pink.

I looked at everything in wonder, thinking of my apartment bedroom that I'd neglected to decorate because it didn't feel like home. The color pink, although genderless, reminded me of women. They were so pretty, just like pink, and I wanted to be like them. Maybe if my room were pretty and pink, I would feel more at home.

"Faeryn," Jungkook said as he walked up to me with a wave. "It's really pink in here."

I laughed a little. "Yeah. Really pink."

"Are you going to buy anything in here? Maybe for your room at home?"

"I...I was thinking of my apartment," I revealed, confused. "I didn't know I was allowed to buy things for the guest room at home."

"Guest room?" His brows knitted together. "It's your room, Faeryn, not the guest room. You're not a guest; you're one of us."

"Oh. I...I know, but it's...it's the guest room, I thought."

"Well, it was," he agreed. "But now it's your room." He tilted his head. "Don't you think so? I thought you did; you always call it your room."

"But now I have my room at my apartment, so...I don't know. I thought it was back to being the guest room."

He stared at me. Blinked a few times. "If I left my room at home to go on vacation, would it stop being my room?"

"No," I responded, confused. "You'll come back."

"Just like you will."

I took a minute to process his words. "I'm not on vacation."

"You're not going to live at your apartment forever, I don't think." Tentatively, he wondered, "Are you?"

"Well, I...I don't think so."

"Okay. Good." Relieved, he nodded quickly. "Then living in your apartment right now is like a vacation, and once your vacation ends, you come back home to your room."

My heart faltered before it swelled, beating quickly at what his words meant. "Really?"

He nodded again before hesitating. "Should Jin talk to you about this? I'm...I'm not really good at these kinds of things."

"What kind of things?"

"Making you feel better," he admitted, embarrassed. "Jin's good at it—the others are too, so maybe you should talk to—"

"You," I said firmly. "Talk to you."

"Me?" he wondered hopefully.

"You make me feel better," I confirmed assiduously. "I still think about your fox and bear story you told me to fall asleep right before we went on vacation."

His features lit up, and he beamed. "Really? I thought it wasn't too bad. You too?"

"Me too."

He walked a few steps to me and pulled me into a tight hug, nosing into my hair as he took a deep breath.

"I can tell you my story again someday if you want," he offered shyly. "I think I still have most of it memorized."

"I probably have the other parts memorized that you don't," I said as I rubbed his back. "That's what makes us a good team."

He leaned back with a big smile. "We're a great team. Maybe best, even."

"Best," I confirmed with a giddy smile. "Maybe even."

He pinched my cheek before releasing a great big sigh. "Ducky."

I squeaked and batted his shoulder. "I'm not ducky."

"You are," he insisted. "You're waddling around in your coat."

"Only because Hoseok made me bundle up in three sweaters beneath it," I protested with a whine. "Jungkook."

He giggled and kissed my cheek. "It's okay. You're the cutest ducky I've ever seen." He made a grab for my face—a sure sign of a cuteness aggression attack—and I squealed, turning and racing to another part of the shop.

I nearly bumped into Lyric, and she steadied me quickly, laughing when she saw the reason for my running.

"Relax," she laughed. "No PDA in public. You're a public figure, Jungkook, remember? Which is why you refuse to tell me if you're dating Namjoon and Faeryn even though I already know you are."

Jungkook sighed, and his lower lip turned out. "Later," he promised me.

"What a friendly promise," Lyric drawled, shooting me a wink. "Now come on; I saw you eyeing the pink section."

I chose so many different items; Lyric said there was enough room in her car for it.

By the time we finished shopping, I could barely hold my bags, but Jungkook was right there to carry them for me. Back in the car, he and I giggled over what we purchased as Lyric furiously fiddled with the radio, certain the radio station wasn't playing her favorite songs on purpose.

We dropped off Jungkook at home first, and Lyric and I went inside to say hi to everyone. A few of the guys had gone out, but everyone currently home came down from their respective areas to greet us. I was swept up and taken into the kitchen to be given hugs and kisses in privacy, although by Lyric's smug expression, she knew exactly what was occurring.

She drove me back to my apartment after I whispered to Jungkook to keep my new belongings a secret until I texted later to show my new room set-up, and he agreed, giddy at the prospect of the surprise.

Lyric helped me set up, and we laughed, chatted, and watched TV on my phone before she promptly fell asleep on my bed.

I stayed awake into the morning hours as I usually did, scrolling through my phone and looking through photos of the guys and me together to keep from entering nightmares revolving around Ryker.

I still wasn't accustomed to my new sleep position, but when 4 AM neared, I managed to fall asleep on my back with my arms laying flatly beside me—and my elbow secured in its brace.

When morning came, Lyric woke me up by jumping on me—although she was very careful not to hurt me or my arm. It was a nice way to wake up, and I tip-toed across my apartment as she dragged me into the kitchen for breakfast.

Too tired to venture back into my room for socks, I sat on the floor and brought my legs into a crisscross position, cradling my heels in my hands as I watched Lyric make eggs.

"Did you send photos of your new set-up to your harem yet?" she asked cheerily, her usual light present in her eyes as if she'd already been awake for hours.

I wiped my eyes drowsily, wishing I was more of a morning person like she was. "Not yet."

"Send them!"

I blinked up at her. "I'm tired."

"Psh! Go!"

Sadly, I scooted across the floor on my bottom, not wanting to tip-toe all the way back to my room. Lyric's laughter followed me even when I made it to my room, and once I arrived, I climbed onto my bed and disappeared beneath the blankets.

Forgetting all about my phone, I was almost back to sleep when Lyric barged into my room and demanded, "Wake up, sleepy head! Your harem awaits! Oh," she chirped. "And your plate of eggs."

With a groan, I clutched my blankets. "I don't like eggs."

"Then why do you have them in your fridge?"

"I need them to make French Toast."

She hurled a pillow at me, making me whine my protests when she yanked the blankets off of me. "Up! Now!"

"Lyric," I protested. "Go away."

"I will tickle your feet."

I squeaked in alarm, folding myself into a pretzel in an attempt to shield my feet, but my actions only made me fall onto my side and nearly topple off the bed. She yanked my leg back before I could, laughing at the surprised expression etched onto my face.

"Are you always this clumsy in the morning?" she teased.

I pouted, and with a glum expression, I scooted off the bed onto the floor, pushing onto my bottom again to reach my drawer for socks.

Once my feet were snugly fit in my heart-decorated white socks—Hoseok's favorite pair that I owned—I clambered onto my feet and attacked Lyric with a hug, making her squeal as she tried to keep my plate of eggs steady.

After Lyric ate my serving of eggs, I grabbed a protein shake from the fridge to drink after I brushed my teeth. Balancing it beneath my arm, I trudged back into my room to retrieve my phone.

"You have to move," I whined when Lyric remained planted in the middle of my room, scarfing down my eggs. "I have to take a picture of my new room set-up."

"Your picture would be honored to have me in it."

"Lyric."

"Ugh! Fine."

She stomped dramatically to me, making me giggle, and she flashed me a grin once she reached my side.

"Your harem will love your new set-up." She nudged my shoulder with hers. "It's too cute not to like."

I beamed, and after I took a few photos, I sent them to the group chat.

I squeaked and shoved Lyric away once I managed to take my phone back, high-tailing it into my bathroom and closing my door, but her laughter could be heard even still.

꧁꧂

 

"Dry needling," I whispered, gnawing my lip as I looked up at the building. "It looks busy." I took a step back, nodding decisively. "We can come back another day."

Namjoon placed a firm hand on my back, keeping me from retreating. "We could, but we won't. Busy or not, Faeryn, we have an appointment."

I clutched his free hand tightly. "I don't want to go."

"I know you're nervous, but if we don't go in today, we'll go in tomorrow. Wouldn't you rather it be over with today than be anxious for tomorrow to come?"

I faltered, and when his words resonated with me, my features twisted into a glum expression. "Okay." I walked forward sadly. "Let's go."

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head as a fond chuckle left him. "Don't be sad. We'll be in and out."

"Dry needling takes 15-30 minutes," I responded pointedly. "We won't be in and out. We'll be in there for that long and longer because of the check-in process and waiting room time."

He hid a smile. "I didn't mean it literally, but you're right. It will take up to an hour, but that's not as long as a work shift, is it? Compared to that, it's no time at all."

"It's some time," I mumbled. "So it's still time that I don't want to be a part of."

He pressed the side of my head to his shoulder, keeping me to him as we walked inside. "You'll be okay; I'll be right there with you."

I looked up at him, catching sight of his amused expression. Gaping at him, I accused, "You're laughing at me."

"I don't hear any laughter leaving me, do you?"

"You're—but you're—" I sputtered as I struggled to convey myself. "You're going to laugh!"

"You can see the future now, Faeryn?"

"Namjoon," I protested, feeling panicky.

Taking pity on me, he kissed my forehead. "I find you cute, Faeryn. I might chuckle because of it, but I'm not laughing at you."

Put at ease slightly, I just shrugged, returning to biting my lip anxiously as my thoughts returned to dry needling.

"It will be okay," he reminded me.

"I wish Jin were here, too," I whispered.

"Did you tell him that?"

"No," I admitted. "He already went with me to the doctor and read my test results, so I didn't think he wanted to come for this."

As we walked toward the check-out desk to wait in line to check in, Namjoon tilted my chin up to create eye contact with him. Sternly, he spoke, "You know better than to assume."

I swallowed roughly, struggling not to look around us to gauge how many people were looking at us.

"I'm sorry," I managed.

"You can't keep acting on assumptions," he chided. "You know to come to us to ask how we feel about something."

"I know," I stammered. "I was just nervous that he would say no, and then I would be even more anxious today."

His hold on me loosened slightly with realization before tightening again. "You didn't want to risk it."

I couldn't nod, so I pushed out my verbal confirmation.

He released my face only to dip his in front of it. "You need to get comfortable with hearing no. It's not a form of rejection, Faeryn. We're not rejecting you when we say it; we're rejecting the offer."

"It feels like you're rejecting me," I whispered with pink cheeks of shame. "That's why I don't ask because I'll...I'll ruminate on it all day and feel really sick."

He paused as he mulled this over, and slowly, he nodded. "Rejection dysphoria. Is that right?"

I blinked. "Yeah, that's—yeah."

"It's common with Autism from what I've read, correct?" When I nodded, he continued, "We'll find ways to help with that, but you need to brave a no occasionally. It's not the end of the world even if it may feel like it."

My lip trembled.

"No," he instructed firmly, pushing his thumb to my lip to stabilize it. "You're not in trouble; you know that. You know you won't be in trouble with us. That's not our dynamic and never will be."

"It's hard." My voice broke. "To tell because of..."

"Because of him." His lips set into a straight line. "I know, and it must be difficult to try to communicate with us and brave possible no's, but you'll be okay—and you'll be safe. With us, you always will be."

"You're not mad at me," I tried. "Even if you're scolding me because you said you would tell me when you're mad."

Approval lined his features. "That's right, Faeryn." He kissed my cheek this time. "That's right."

Relieved, I sank closer to him. "You just want me to communicate and not be afraid to ask for what I want, even if you or the others say no."

"Very good, Faeryn. That's right."

"And...no doesn't mean you're rejecting me, it just means you're rejecting my offer, so...you'll still like me and want me around even if you don't want to do something with me right then."

His features softened slightly. "We'll always want you around, baby. That's not even a question."

"You always want me around," I repeated, storing it in the back of my mind for pattern recognition and to self-soothe when I thought otherwise.

He clasped the back of my neck and pulled me forward, letting my forehead rest against his chest.

"We'll talk more about this later," he said in low tones meant for my ears only. "Right now, we'll check in for our appointment."

I pulled away only to nestle into his side, clinging to his hand as he led me to the front desk. Once it was our turn in line, he gave our names and insurance information, and we were instructed to sit as we waited. As soon as we sat, our name was called, and relieved I didn't have to wait with my torturous, tumultuous thoughts, I stood up too fast, causing my sense of balance—already iffy on its own—to teeter.

Namjoon was quick, wrapping one arm around my waist and tugging me to him effortlessly, all in one swift motion as he stood.

Pressing his lips near my ear, he said just for me, "Watch your step."

His teasing tone was laced with a mix of fondness and slight concern, and I clung to him once more, shivering as he led me forward.

The dominance he held never failed to ignite something within me whilst simultaneously soothing me, and right now was no exception. My thoughts stopped whirring as much when he or one of the others was around, and all I had to focus on was my next step; they would take care of the rest, just as they'd told me, and their words always proved to be true.

We entered a room the physical therapist led us into, and once the door was closed, she motioned to two long chairs that looked more like beds. I stared at it wearily, inching closer to Namjoon when I viewed the needles.

A quiet sound of protest left me, and I tried to make a break for it, but his hold on my hand kept me rooted in my spot. His only response to my failed getaway plan was a kiss on my head.

"My name is Kunwoo," the physical therapist spoke. "I'll be performing the dry needling today."

She had beautiful curly hair, reminding me of Lyric, and I paid attention to that for a grounding technique, remembering to wave in greeting.

"Hi," I said quietly, still chewing on my bottom lip as I stared at her hair. "My name is Faeryn."

"I know who you are." She laughed a bit and gestured again to the chair-tables. "Why don't you lie down?"

I remained firmly planted beside Namjoon and shook my head quickly.

He rubbed my back. "Go lay down."

"Namjoon—"

"It will be fine, Faeryn. 15-30 minutes."

Slightly horrified, I shook right where I stood, refusing to leave his side.

"How about you stand with her?" Kunwoo suggested to Namjoon, looking between him and me knowingly. "For the first few needles, at least."

I shuddered at the mention of needles.

Namjoon led me forward, and although I tried to keep steady, he was too strong. Lifting me up from beneath my arms, he set me on the chair-table and situated me on my back.

"Namjoon," I stammered as every part of me shook with fear.

"I'm right here." He took my hand again and squeezed firmly. "Focus on things you can count."

"Can't," I managed as I watched Kunwoo approach the area with all the needles.

I felt pathetic, ready to cry at any given moment. "Namjoon, please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Faeryn." With the hand not holding mine, he gripped my shoulder and pushed me deeper into the chair-table to stabilize my trembling. "Do you see the art near the door?"

"No," I whimpered.

He gently angled my chin toward it. "Right there."

It was a nature painting. I thought Jungkook would like it, but I also still thought I would cry—the sound of the needles moving only made it worse.

"Need you," I stuttered.

"I'm right here with you, baby. Take a deep breath for me."

I tried and failed; that's when Kunwoo spoke up and asked, "What scares you the most about needles, Faeryn?"

My lower lip wobbled as I desperately pushed back the tears, not wanting to embarrass myself if they fell. "They feel weird when...when they're under my skin, and I'm—I'm afraid if I move, I'll get hurt."

"These are different from needles used to draw blood and for IVS," she explained. "Try to stay still, but a little movement is okay."

"It...it is?"

"It is," she confirmed. "And the tenser you are, the more sore you will be later, so do your best to relax. This is going to help, not hurt."

"Not hurt," I repeated, struggling to comprehend that when I turned and caught sight of the needles.

"You can look at your boyfriend the entire time," she told me. "He'll be on that folding table right beside you."

My words faltered on my tongue momentarily. "What?"

Namjoon caressed my cheek. "I'll be with you the entire time."

"But...but she said you would be on the chair-table," I said, not comprehending. "That's only for people who are doing the dry needling."

"Mm. I know."

"So then why..." I trailed off when I took note of the expression he wore, the dip of his chin, and the knowing look from Kunwoo. My lips parted slightly. "You're doing dry needling?"

"I am."

"Why?" was all I could manage.

"This morning, I told you we were doing this together, and that's what I plan to do."

My heart filled at the same time my eyes did, and he gingerly swiped my tears away. "It's okay to be scared," he spoke to my anxiety and my trembling, balled fingers. "It's okay to feel it, but after this is over, you'll feel better. That's the plan. Isn't fear okay for a little while if the reward is worth it?"

I managed a nod and whispered agreement.

"Okay." He kissed my cheek, right where a stray tear escaped. "Relax your body. We're doing this together. Everything you feel, I'll feel."

"Won't...won't it hurt you if you don't need it?" I asked worriedly, struggling not to bawl at his kind gesture, kind expression, and tender kisses.

"I have some back pain," he revealed. "The dry needling will help, so no. It won't hurt me."

"Your back hurts?" My brows tugged together. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It doesn't hurt much." He chuckled softly at the worry painting my face. "I slept in a different position the past week or so; that's what caused it."

"Oh." I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "But the dry needling will make it feel better?"

"The sooner he does it," Kunwoo cut in, "the quicker it will feel better."

"Oh," I breathed out. My tears began to slow, and I nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than to make his pain go away. "You need to go lie down now so she can make you feel better."

His smile turned fond. "I will."

"Okay," I whispered as he gave me one last kiss. "Bye."

"I'm not going anywhere," was his amused rejoinder. "I'm going right there; right beside you."

I waved anyway, anxious at the marginal distance between us and the lack of his hand in mine, but if he would feel better soon, that's all that mattered to me.

"It's sweet," Kunwoo stated as she continued readying the needles. "How much you care about each other. It's refreshing to see."

"He's the best," I said quietly while I watched the needles with rapt attention, anticipating the pain they would bring. "Just the best."

"So is she," Namjoon responded as he sat on the chair-table. "Faeryn," he added when he tracked how my eyes shifted rapidly from each needle. "Eyes on me."

I swallowed, tearing my eyes to his with some difficulty.

"Focus on me," he instructed. "It's you and me. The needles are the bystanders."

"Bystanders," I breathed out.

"That's right."

I glanced at Kunwoo. "She's...she's the doctor. Not a bystander."

"Physical therapist," she corrected. "And yes. Not a bystander. More of a...stander, if you please."

I thought I should smile at her joke, so I tried. It was wobbly.

She chuckled a bit. "Keep trying to relax. Look at your boyfriend; he's got you."

I nodded at that, knowing she was right about that, and returned my attention to Namjoon.

"Your boyfriend will go first," Kunwoo stated. "So you can see how painless the process is."

Relieved at the extra time that would give me, I agreed quickly. "It won't hurt," I told him, trying to reassure him just in case he was nervous. "You'll be okay, and you can look at me."

He chuckled fondly, and Kunwoo laughed.

"You can raise your shirt just above your back once you lay down," she instructed him, still laughing. "And look at your girlfriend; she'll make you feel better if you're scared."

Namjoon, chuckling, turned onto his stomach and lifted his shirt slightly above his back. He could still look at me, and we held eye contact as Kunwoo lifted the first needle.

"Don't be scared," I nearly gasped out. "It's okay."

His lips twitched. "Thank you, Faeryn. I'll try not to be scared."

"Okay. That's—that's really great."

Kunwoo stifled her laughter as she began dry-needling. Slowly and carefully, she inserted needles after assessing where Namjoon said the pain was. He didn't so much as flinch, but I held my breath as I awaited when his face would twist in a grimace at the pain. It never happened, and confused, I blinked rapidly as I struggled to digest this change of information.

"What...what does it feel like?" I whispered cautiously.

"A little ache," he explained.

"A little ache," I repeated. "My...elbow and wrist already ache a little."

"It won't feel like much of a change then to you, will it?"

"Maybe..."

He hid a smile. "Mhm."

After a moment, he twitched, and worried, I rushed out, "Namjoon."

"It's okay," he reassured me. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt; it's involuntary."

"He's right," Kunwoo attested. "Twitching is good during this; it means that the needle is breaking up the trigger point."

"The trigger point?" I asked, worried and more confused than before.

"The point that's causing the pain," she explained, adding certain equipment to the needles that connected to a device.

I gulped.

"Okay," she concluded after a few minutes. "We monitor now." She glanced at me. "Your turn."

My lip quivered.

"You'll be okay," Namjoon told me. "Just keep looking at me."

"Okay," I stammered.

Kunwoo walked over to me, and I tried not to tense, but it was nearly impossible to do so.

"Keep breathing," Namjoon instructed. "Tensing will make it hurt."

I held my breath.

"Breathe," he warned.

"Trying," I stuttered.

"Okay," Kunwoo commanded. "Either look at your boyfriend or close your eyes. Breath in through your nose, exhale through your mouth. You're fine. It's just a needle. Not the end of the world. And I need to get this done."

"Gentle," Namjoon reprimanded her, his tone light but his intent clear.

"It's the reality of it," she said nonchalantly as she picked up the first needle. "If she's so afraid of pain, she needs to stop tensing or it will hurt, and I have patients waiting for their turn."

"She's allowed to be scared," he negated. "And we have adequate time for our session; I made sure of it." With a harsh look and an even harsher tone, he added, "Everyone has different fears. Don't dismiss hers."

Kunwoo bit back a sigh but let it be, instead focusing on my wrist. "Breathe, Faeryn. I'm going in now."

She steadied my wrist to stabilize the trembling but thought against starting there, instead holding my elbow. She prodded around it, letting me know, "This is the worst of it; the need to find the trigger point. Tell me where it hurts before I insert the needle."

I pointed to where I broke my elbow, and she nodded, not giving me a chance to catch up when she inserted the needle.

I cried out on instinct, making Namjoon shift on the chair-table as if he would leave it and come to me.

"Stay still," she warned Namjoon. "She's fine."

"Don't move," I told him, absolutely beside myself with panic for myself and for him, not wanting him to move and cause himself pain. "I'm—I'm okay."

His gaze was intense and relentless, keeping me squared within it. "You are. You're okay. Just keep breathing through it."

I stammered out an agreement as my elbow twitched. "Working," I managed. "It's—that means it's working. Dry needling works if you twitch because the needle is breaking up the trigger point."

Amused, Kunwoo confirmed, "That's right."

"And now you'll add more needles to other trigger points, like my wrist," I continued shakily. "And then the equipment attached to the device."

"That I will."

"And then in 15-30 minutes, this will be done," I rambled anxiously. "And maybe I'll be sore, but online it said that I could just drink water and stretch so I can feel better. Will I bleed? It said online that people can bleed."

"Sometimes," she agreed. "But it's minimal."

"I don't want to bleed," I rambled on. "I don't like blood, and I don't like needles, and I don't like dry needling, and I want to go home, but I can't because this will make me feel better, Dr. Honeycut said, and I don't want to do to surgery yet."

I inhaled sharply. "Did you know that the Monolophosaurus had one feature not found in any other dinosaur? It had a long, bony ridge that went from its nose back to the top of its head—and that's why it's my favorite dinosaur because it's different, and I'm different too because I'm Autistic."

"Ah," was all she said in response.

"Yeah," I stressed. "And it probably lived near lakes or other kind of water. Probably was a basal tetanuran, too."

"What...?"

"A basal tetanuran," I went on. "It means primitive or ancestral, and the term is used a lot in evolution. And tetanurans are a clad that include most therapod dinosaurs, including birds." In one breath, I released, "I love dinosaurs."

"Right."

A small whimper left me, and I rushed out, "I like T-rexes too, and I crocheted one for my friend Lyric. She's the best, and she helped me redecorate my room pink, and I—I miss her right now and wish we were at a bookstore because that's our favorite thing to do when we hang out—oh, and drink coffee. She likes lattes; they're her favorite. She doesn't really like dinosaurs, but she likes the one I crocheted for her and she lets me ramble about them."

I paused, concerned. "I—I didn't ask you if I could talk about dinosaurs. I'm supposed to ask; my grandfather said that because some people don't care and don't want to hear about it, so to be polite, I have to ask first."

"I'm getting paid to be here right now, so ramble all you want, I guess."

Encouraged, I kept going, not able to stop. I was red in the face, still shaking, but hearing dinosaur facts as I spoke them helped my anxiety a little—the comfort and familiarity of it did—and soon, Kunwoo removed Namjoon's needles, and then mine.

As soon as Kunwoo said Namjoon could get up, he was by my side, helping me sit up. He went slow, examining my features carefully as he did.

"Okay?" he prompted. "How do you feel?"

Exhausted, my forehead fell to rest on his chest, and I breathed heavily, in desperate need of a nap.

"Okay." He swept me up in his arms carefully, keeping pressure off of my arm. "I've got you."

"How's the pain?" she asked me, already having asked Namjoon and receiving a positive answer from him.

I couldn't find it in myself to answer, my tongue like lead and my body sagging further against Namjoon every passing second.

"Use your hands," Namjoon instructed me.

Trembling, I lifted my hand and signed, "I can't tell."

He kissed the top of my head, telling Kunwoo, "She can't tune into her body right now because she's overwhelmed, but we'll call the office and set up a follow-up appointment if needed."

"All right," Kunwoo responded. "You can pay at the front desk."

"Thank you," Namjoon answered curtly, and turning, he carried me out of the room.

I didn't have it in me to protest when he paid the bill, and I fell asleep before we arrived back at his car.

꧁꧂

 

"Hi," Jungkook breathed out as soon as I opened my eyes. "Hi, Faeryn. Hi."

I blinked the sleep from my eyes, bleary and confused. Curling closer to the sturdy surface my cheek was planted in, I looked up to see Namjoon. He held me securely, and when he kissed my cheek, I snuggled back up to him, yawning as I tried once again to look at Jungkook.

"Faeryn," he whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Awake," I rasped.

"Oh," he said breathily with a quick nod. "Hi."

I tried to wave, but too tired to, I nodded my greeting instead.

"Next time," Jin spoke from the other side of me, surprising me. "I will go with you."

I turned to look at him with quick blinks.

"Namjoon told me," he said drily.

I turned red, and embarrassed, I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to face any disapproval for my severe lack of communication.

"She's just nervous," Jungkook defended me indignantly. "You would be too if you lived with someone like Ryker who made you scared to communicate."

"Jungkook," Jin reprimanded.

"You don't get it," Jungkook snapped, surprising me. "None of you do. When someone like Ryker hurts you, you don't magically stop being scared of all the things he made you feel scared of. She's trying, and you can't be mad at her for that. If you had gone through what she did, you would still have trouble communicating, too."

"I never said otherwise," Jin responded sternly.

"You're acting like it!" Jungkook nearly exploded, making my eyes open wide with shock. "You make her feel like she's in trouble for not communicating as easily as you all do. And she's Autistic! Trying to figure out everyone's language and communicate it is already hard enough, but on top of that, Ryker and other people have traumatized her when she's tried to communicate, so just be patient!"

"Jungkook," Namjoon cut through, his smooth tone countering Jin's harsher one. "We know. No one's in trouble here."

Jungkook's chest heaved, and he looked between Namjoon and Jin uncertainly. "You can't be mad at her."

Jin began to speak, but Namjoon put his hand up, making the former refrain. Taking the reigns, Namjoon continued, "We aren't mad at her. Not in the slightest. That being said, you need to understand that her lack of communication is something to work on, even if it is scary for her and difficult because of Ryker. We all have things to work on, and that's okay. It's part of being human."

"But—"

"You had your chance to speak, bub. Give me mine."

Jungkook faltered, upset. "When is it my turn to speak again?"

"After mine. Yes? I'll let you know when I'm done."

Jungkook nearly scowled, but he nodded his agreement.

"Thank you," Namjoon said, keeping his tone steady and reassuring. "Jin is trying to explain the importance of communication to Faeryn. When she doesn't communicate, he knows—just like the rest of us know—that she'll harbor what she isn't communicating, become overwhelmed, and experience a verbal shutdown. A meltdown can occur if she's overwhelmed enough. You know that, bub. Would you rather that happen than us reminding her of the importance of communication?"

"But she's trying," Jungkook insisted wildly.

"We never said she wasn't, did we?"

Jungkook huffed, his face red and his pupils quivering with anger.

I stared at him, agape, but before I could speak, Namjoon's hand warmed my back, letting me know as he'd let Jin know that he was controlling the conversation.

"You can speak your side of things now, bub," he told Jungkook. "We're listening."

Jungkook stumbled over his words in an attempt to get them out. "You don't get it! It can take a really long time for her to feel comfortable enough to communicate about things she's scared about because if she tried to communicate with Ryker, he would hurt her, and even if she knows we won't hurt her, it's a trauma response to still be scared of it. When everyone gets mad at her for not communicating, that just makes it worse!"

Namjoon gave Jungkook a moment to continue, but when he didn't, only taking rushed, sharp breaths, the former asked, "Do you have anything else to add before I take my turn?"

Jungkook shook his head fiercely.

"Okay," Namjoon responded as he watched him carefully. "I'll take my turn, then." When Jungkook wordlessly confirmed, Namjoon exhaled deeply. "No one is mad at Faeryn for not communicating, and we understand that PTSD is a huge factor in it. Not one of us doesn't understand that. We can be frustrated when she doesn't communicate because we know how negatively it affects her to keep it to herself. Do you understand that, bub?"

Jungkook struggled within himself before blurting, "You can't be mad at her! She didn't do anything wrong."

"We're not mad at her," Namjoon repeated, ever patient. "A lack of communication isn't right. It harms her, and it can harm relationships."

Jungkook breathed heavily. "No."

"I'm stating facts only." Namjoon took in Jungkook's frenzied features. "What about you? Are you speaking facts or feelings? We can speak both; just let me know."

Jungkook's eyes flickered around the room as he thought, and eventually, he revealed with difficulty, "Feelings."

"Okay." Namjoon nodded his encouragement. "Thank you for telling me. That's half the battle, isn't it? Naming what we're feeling so we can work through it and communicate about it."

Jungkook struggled to take a deep breath.

Namjoon motioned him forward. "Come here. Come sit with hyung."

Jungkook shook his head rigidly. "You can't be mad at her."

"Hyung isn't mad at you."

Jungkook's breath hitched, and abruptly, his eyes filled with tears.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Namjoon pressed on, keeping his voice level and reassuring. Steady and comforting. "You communicated with me when you were ready. What they did to you wasn't your fault, and it never will be."

Jungkook shifted back on the couch and he shook his head again. It looked like he couldn't stop. Confused, I looked between Namjoon and Jungkook frantically, unsure of what route the conversation was going and what prompted the sudden change.

"I'm not leaving you," Namjoon told him. "I will take care of you and everything that follows. Didn't I? Didn't we work with HYBE and get you taken care of? Make it so they couldn't hurt you anymore?"

Jungkook's tears were sent down his cheeks, and he swallowed a hiccup, horrified by the sound as if it would hurt him.

"Mad," he stammered. A question. One laced with fear.

"Hyung isn't mad."

Confused, Jungkook's eyes darted to Jin's for confirmation. Jin dipped his chin in acknowledgment, only causing Jungkook's confusion to heighten.

"They said," Jungkook insisted, terrified. "My management said you would leave. They—they said you would hate me if I communicated what they did to me, so you can't do that to Faeryn. You—you can't be mad and hate her and leave."

"They were lying to you," Namjoon said firmly. "We don't and won't ever hate Faeryn, we won't leave, and if there's a chance we're upset with her, we'll communicate, just like you communicated with us."

Jungkook shook his head wildly.

Namjoon pressed on. "If you didn't communicate with me or anyone at HYBE, they could keep hurting you, just like Ryker would keep hurting Faeryn if she hadn't left. But you came to me, didn't you? And Faeryn left Ryker, even if it meant staying on the street and living with us—people she didn't know at that time. Even if it was scary. Do you know how brave that was of you and her? How proud I am of both of you?"

"Proud?" Jungkook stammered in disbelief. "Proud of me? And...and Faeryn?"

"So proud of both of you."

"For communicating," Jungkook tried. "Not mad, and you won't leave."

"I will never leave you or Faeryn."

Jungkook choked up, and the sob lodged in his throat left him. Namjoon's features twisted in pain like I thought they would during dry needling, and he reached for Jungkook.

"Come here," he instructed with more urgency than before.

With a sob, Jungkook scrambled forward, immediately tucking himself into Namjoon's shoulder. My eyes filled at the sight of his fear, and I tried not to cry, but my emotions were already so high, making it impossible not to.

My high empathy worked against me as Jungkook sobbed into Namjoon's form, and I cried for him, trying to be quiet so I wouldn't distract him from feeling his pain. Hiding my face in Namjoon's chest, I shook as I tried to silence my tears.

I jolted when Jin took me from Namjoon, settling me comfortably in his arms, and when his gravelly tone met my ears to let me know it was okay to cry, I clung to him and cried for this morning, for a lifetime of hardship with communication—the pain Ryker inflicted on me when I tried to—and for whatever Jungkook's management did to make him so afraid.

Namjoon shifted Jungkook onto his lap, cradling him like he had just done for me, and held his head to his chest, caressing his hair and murmuring comfort as he cried.

My difficulty with communication seemed to remind Jungkook of a time when he struggled with it, triggering the emotions and pain that came with it and left him slumped in Namjoon's arms.

I couldn't bear hearing him cry uncontrollably, and when I lifted my tear-ridden face and saw how he shook in the same manner, I fought against Jin's hold to get to Jungkook.

"Jungkook," I stammered.

He jolted at the sound of his name, and still crying, he lifted his face to view me through his tears. He managed to say my name, distraught, and something in me needed to be as close to him as possible, giving me enough ammunition to pull away from Jin and hurry to Jungkook.

"Jungkook," I breathed out, and without waiting for a response, I flung myself at him, nearly knocking him off of Namjoon's lap. Namjoon had a firm grip on him to keep it from happening, but Jungkook yelped in slight alarm, making his breath hitch and tears hesitate.

"It's okay," I told him, not sure if I was very convincing when I was crying right along with him. "I—I can communicate better if I really try, even if I'm scared, and no one's mad at me—and no one's mad at you. And you didn't deserve any mean thing that your old management did, okay? You're my nice Jungkook, and they're cruel; no one should be cruel to anyone, but especially you."

I squeezed him as tightly as I could. "You're so sweet, and you mean so much to me, and I never want anyone to hurt you ever again."

He eased away from Namjoon tentatively at first, wanting to be held, but as soon as he returned my embrace, he gripped me as tightly as he had been holding Namjoon, needing the reassuring pressure as much as I did at that moment.

We clung to each other, and he nosed into my hair with his sad, little sniffles as I did the same to him, both of us breathing each other in for safety, normalcy, and comfort.

"My Faeryn," he managed in response. "Mine."

Almost angrily, he added, "No one's mad at you for having trouble communicating; I won't let them be mad; I won't."

"It's okay." I buried my face in his shoulder. "Me and you are okay." I choked on a sob, and he caressed my hair quickly—nearly frantic. "We're okay."

"Breathe," Jin and Namjoon warned, synchronized.

"Trying," I stammered.

"She is," Jungkook defended as he nuzzled into me. "She's trying."

"You too, bub," Namjoon instructed, his voice soft. "I need you to breathe."

"I am," Jungkook insisted. "I'm—I'm with Faeryn, and we're breathing." He hesitated. "Right, Faeryn?"

"Right," I agreed quickly, holding onto him like I'd never let go. "We're trying, just like I'm trying to communicate better."

"We know," Jin confirmed lowly. "We know you are, and we're proud of you, Faeryn. You know how proud we are of you. Do you not?"

"I know," I stammered. "I'm so happy that you're proud of me instead of being mad at me when I'm too scared to communicate."

"I know," he responded, quieter than before. "I know."

"You know we'll always tell you if we're mad," Namjoon supplemented seriously. "And like Jin said, we're very proud of you for trying so hard. You've been with us for almost nine months, and your communication has come a long way. That's something to be very proud of, so when you're upset when communication doesn't come easy, remember that it used to be harder."

He set me with a knowing look. "You've come a long way." His attention shifted to Jungkook. "You have too, bub. You know that. And I know moments like these can remind you of when you were scared to communicate—told by your old management that communication would harm you—but they're not here anymore because you were brave enough to communicate. You should be very proud of yourself for that; I know I am."

Jungkook sniffled. "Hyung."

"Hyung's right here."

"No one's mad at Faeryn and me."

"That's right, bub. No one's mad at you or Faeryn."

Jungkook nosed against my shoulder. "No one's mad at us. See?"

I nodded, my tears still trickling down my cheeks steadily.

Jin stood, and I looked up just in time to see him sit beside me, allowing him and Namjoon to keep Jungkook and me between them. It was comforting—safe—and Jungkook and I both allowed ourselves to begin to relax. It was hard not to relax when Namjoon and Jin were so understanding and kind.

Once our tears had slowed, I curled up to Jin while Jungkook did the same with Namjoon.

I nuzzled against Jin's shirt, enjoying how his cologne swarmed my senses. "I want you with me," I whispered, determined to communicate. "The next time I do dry needling, and...and it's okay if you say no. That doesn't mean you don't like me; that just means you can't go with me or...maybe you don't want to. Namjoon said that today."

"Namjoon is right," Jin confirmed. He passed a warm, protective hand through my hair. "But I don't think I can say no to you."

My heart fluttered. "You'll go with me?"

"I will. I'll be right there with you." He kissed my forehead when a timid smile met my lips. "I heard Namjoon did the dry needling with you."

Jungkook nodded quickly at the revealed information. "Yeah, he did." He looked proud of Namjoon and offered him a kiss on the lips to convey it. "He said it didn't hurt." Jungkook looked at me curiously, slightly concerned. "Did it hurt you?"

"A little," I admitted, and embarrassed, I added, "I told the physical therapist a lot about dinosaurs."

Jungkook's features filled with the tell-tale signs of his cuteness aggression, and I clung to Jin with a tired giggle.

Jungkook relaxed at the sound, and he showed a lop-sided smile. "It's good that it hurt just a little, right? Just a little is better than a lot."

I nodded. "Yeah, and...even if I annoyed the therapist, I don't think I annoyed Namjoon because he didn't say that he was annoyed."

"I wasn't annoyed," Namjoon attested as he eased his fingers through Jungkook's messy waves. His features were slightly pinched with annoyance, however, and confused, I hesitated before I wondered, "Are you sure? You...you seem annoyed."

He exhaled shortly. "I'm annoyed at the physical therapist. The way she spoke to you a few times today was unprofessional."

Jin's hold on me tightened. "In what way?"

"We don't need to talk about it right now," Namjoon said as he looked between Jungkook and me, taking note of our swollen, puffy eyes from crying. "But to sum it up, she dismissed Faeryn's fear of dry needling."

Jin's chest rumbled, and I looked up at him, wide-eyed. He looked down at me with a stern expression, and before I could ask, he spoke curtly. "We'll take you to a different therapist."

"It's okay," I tried to reassure him. "I'm used to people not really understanding me."

"That doesn't make it right," Namjoon and Jungkook spoke in unison, the latter snuggling closer to Namjoon with pride at the synchronization.

"Well...I know that," I agreed slowly. "But if she can help me, then maybe it doesn't matter."

"It does matter," Jin decided curtly. "It will always matter how you're treated. There are plenty of physical therapists in the area; we'll find someone else."

Namjoon nodded his approval. "I found a few candidates; I'll show you them later."

Jin wordlessly confirmed with a dip of his chin, and just like that, the subject was dropped.

I blinked as I tried to process, but Jin shifted me closer to him, cradling me as he pressed kiss after kiss to the top of my head. Melting at the sudden affection, I mewled contentedly and rubbed my face in his shirt to commemorate the comfort.

"Let's take a bath." Namjoon stood, earning a startled yelp when he easily lifted Jungkook into his arms as he did. "Come on; the both of you."

I clung to Jin, refusing to leave him. "Jin can come," I coaxed.

Namjoon's eyes flickered to Jin, amused. "If he wants to."

Jin stood, lifting me just as easily as Namjoon lifted Jungkook—if not easier. "I want to."

Beaming, I shared a giddy smile with Jungkook as we were carried upstairs to take a bath. Namjoon and Jin made it special with bath bombs and our favorite scented soaps, and we used Namjoon's tub since it was the largest.

Jin and Namjoon didn't get in, allowing Jungkook and I to relax in the water, and I became so relaxed that sleep met me quicker than I expected it to. When my head began to lull on Jungkook's shoulder while he traced outlines in the pink and green colors the bath bombs provided, Namjoon took it upon himself to rinse me off and lift me out.

Once he wrapped me securely in a towel, Jin used another towel to dry my hair. Feeling cared for only made the need for sleep grow, and tired whines slipped past my lips as I curled up against Namjoon's chest.

Jungkook was keen on staying in the bath for a while longer, stating he liked how soothing it was, and after Namjoon pressed multiple times to ensure he was okay, he took me the few steps into his room to dress me in one of his longer shirts.

Once I was dressed, he shifted me back into his arms, cradling my lower body as my cheek rested on his shoulder. Taking me back into his bathroom, he checked in on Jungkook who was fine, his form covered with soapy bubbles as he insisted, "I don't want Jin to see me naked."

He more than enjoyed Jin's company, talking about his day, cat memes he'd seen, and whatever else came to mind. Although his eyes were still swollen, he was smiling again, and that alone brought a miniature smile to my exhausted features.

While Namjoon held me and kissed my head every so often, he listened to Jungkook just as Jin did—just as I did—and Jungkook's stories about his day lulled me to sleep on Namjoon's chest.

Notes:

I can't wait to dive into Jungkook's backstory a little more, but that's much later on! I hope you enjoyed the little text messages between them all hehe it was fun to make!

Hope you're all doing okay, and I'll see you in the comments! <33

Chapter 34: Intense Sex

Summary:

Faeryn teases Namjoon and reaps the consequences (reward) when night arrives.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I woke up to the sun warming my face through the windows, and content, I curled closer to the warmth surrounding me. Blankets cascaded my face, a beige pillow caressed my cheek, and my body was swaddled and tightly tucked. Squirming to commemorate it, I sighed happily.

A deep chuckle greeted my ears, one that only heightened my comfort, and I peeked one eye open to find Namjoon fitting his jacket over his shoulders.

He was already smiling his usual, handsome smile, and when he caught my eye, it softened. “Good morning.” His voice was low, working with the gentle ease the morning provided as birds chirped their greeting. “How do you feel?”

I smacked my lips together tiredly as I woke up further, not yet ready to leave the warmth of his bed. Trying to tune into my usual wrist and elbow pain, I took a moment to gauge it, finding it slightly difficult.

Pursing my lips, my voice broke with morning exhaustion as I relayed, “I don’t know.”

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst nerve pain you’ve felt recently, what do you think your pain level is?”

I thought hard once again, finding his wording easier to work with. “Maybe…a five.”

He lifted a brow. “That isn’t too bad.”

I felt myself begin to smile. “Not too bad.”

“Maybe the evil dry needling helped after all.”

I pouted at his teasing, but my smile fought through quickly at the realization that the dry needling—as scary as it was—helped.

“Does it still scare you?” He sat on the edge of his bed near me, squeezing my blanket covered ankle.

I chewed on my lip. “A little. I just don’t like dry needling. It’s…uncomfortable, and it’s not a part of my routine, so…it’s bad.”

He chuckled. “Is it bad if it helped?”

I sighed, and with a shrug, I pushed my face back into the pillow. “I don’t know.”

“The answer is ‘No, Namjoon, it’s not bad if it helped’, but I’ll let you come to terms with that.” He patted my leg, letting his fingers climb my thigh to lightly tickle my waist.

I giggled as much as I tried to remain pouting, and I lifted my face for a kiss. He bestowed it easily, smiling when my body noticeably relaxed.

“A few kisses is what you need to wake up, hm, Faeryn?”

I preened at his raspy morning voice and nodded happily.

After a few more kisses, he kissed my forehead, caressing my face. He tilted his head to better view mine, and a fond smile danced on his lips.

“You look rested,” he noted.

“I like sleeping with you,” I chirped. “I like sleeping in my room across from yours to see the light under your door, but I like sleeping where the light is much better.”

“Good.” He kissed my nose. “I’d rather you in my bed as it is.”

I giggled, pleased. At a sudden thought, I paused. “Where’s Jungkook? Is he okay?”

“He’s okay.” His features softened. “He’s still sleeping.”

“Where? Why didn’t he sleep with us?”

He chuckled fondly and carefully angled my face to the side, allowing me to see a peacefully sleeping Jungkook. His hair was disarrayed around his face, his lips were parted as he slept, and his hands were near his face on the pillow as his nose twitched occasionally.

I made pinching motions at him, gushing, “He’s so cute.”

“Very cute,” Namjoon agreed with another chuckle. “We’ll let him sleep; he still has half an hour before he needs to get ready for work.”

My lips lowered slightly. “Do I have to get ready for work?”

He looked amused. “Do you not want to?”

I shook my head and gripped his blankets tighter.

A low chuckle left him. “You want to stay in my room.”

“Yeah,” I breathed out. “With you.”

“I’ll be at work.”

“Not if you don’t go to work,” I bribed. “Not if you stay here with me.”

His lips twitched. “Mhm.”

“So you will?”

“That was neither agreement nor denial.”

I gaped at him before pushing myself forward in my blanketed cocoon to face plant in his lap. Rubbing my face around in his steady, firm thighs and musky scent, my stomach flared with heat.

“Namjoon,” I pleaded.

He passed his hand through my hair. “Hm?”

A shiver tore through me, and when I tried to lift my face to see him, he kept my face pressed deeply in his lap. A whimper left me at the firm grip he had on my neck to keep me in place, and I nosed into him, whining when I felt the outline of his cock.

I nudged my cheek against the bulge, nearly mouthing it through the fabric as my eyes fluttered at bearing so near it. His musk and pine cologne made my mind spin, and I clung to the blankets as my pulse quickened.

“Stay home,” I breathed into his thighs. “With me.”

“I have work.”

I shook my head, delighting in the feeling of my cheek brushing against his clothed cock with every movement I made.

“Stay,” I coaxed.

He curled his fingers through my hair as he kept a secure hold of my neck. “Faeryn.”

“Please?”

He exhaled shortly, strained. “We have an important meeting today.”

“Important meetings can be rescheduled,” I hoped.

“Not this one.” Even still, he let me continue mouthing at his clothed cock, using his hold on me to rub my face against it.

“Need you,” I whispered.

“You already have me.”

“But I need you.”

“We have an important meeting,” he warned, but his stern front was wavering.

I felt the cool metal of his zipper, and I whined, remembering when I’d ground against it when he and Jin kept me between them in bed.

The cold feeling sent a jolt of pleasure through me, and I greedily swirled my tongue around for my enjoyment. I didn’t ask for more, content enough being so near him, and I soon returned to open-mouth drooling against his cock—so close to being in my mouth but not close enough.

“Jin said,” Namjoon spoke with some difficulty, and I smiled to myself, pleased at the reaction I was drawing from him, “you asked him to leave you alone the other morning before changing your mind and asking him for something else. Are you always this needy in the morning?”

Satisfied that they’d been talking about me, I decided to ignore him and continued my actions, feeling the slight control go straight to my head.

His grip on my hair tightened, and his chest rumbled at my continued silence. “You know better.”

My smile was hidden in his pants, and it only grew at his words. With a small shrug, I pressed a kiss to his growing bulge, earning a tight inhale from him.

Pushing out a sigh, I lifted my face, and this time, he allowed me to. I knew if I’d asked earlier he would have let me, but this time, I was sure he let me up because he couldn’t bear the teasing I’d inflicted on him so early in the morning.

Hiding my pleased smile at his taut features, I fiddled with his blankets. “You should probably finish getting ready.” I hung my head as if I was sad, but really, I was reeling with giddiness at another one of my apparent successful schemes. “You don’t want to be late for your important meeting.”

“Ha.” His tone was dry, but his eyes were blazing with blatant arousal and desire, his jaw clenching as he tracked my every move. “My important meeting. How could I forget?”

My smile was becoming harder to hold back, but with some difficulty, I managed. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.” He exhaled deeply, once again, strained. “Of course you don’t.”

As he stood, I noted with much delight how noticeably hard he was, even in the confinement of his pants. I didn’t speak on it, knowing we both were aware of how I’d affected him, and with a click of his tongue, he adjusted his pants near the waist, loosening his belt before tightening it and letting his eyes meet mine.

Lifting his brow slowly, he rasped, “Are you happy now?”

A smile slowly crept onto my lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek. “So she can lie.”

“If she tries.”

His eyes drifted toward the ceiling as he struggled to reign himself in, and I had the giddy notion that he was stopping himself from ravaging me right there and then.

Shaking his head as he stared at the ceiling, he lowered his eyes back to mine after he took a moment.

“I have a meeting,” he picked back up, his voice containing a hint of the sternness Jin’s usually occupied.

I nodded, pushing my lower lip out in faux pity. “That’s okay. I’m sure you can put your hands on your lap so no one can see.”

He ground out, “How thoughtful of you.”

“I try to be thoughtful,” I said cheerily, quite pleased with myself.

He adjusted his pants one more, his features tightening with pained arousal as he continued shaking his head as if he couldn’t quite believe the turn his morning had taken.

“I let you sleep in my bed,” he spoke more to himself than to me. “And all I get in return is pain and suffering.”

“That’s not true,” I countered, my tone sharing the tease Jimin’s so often did. “I gave you a morning kiss.” I pointed to his straining pants. “There.”

His jaw clicked before it locked, and he set me with a look. “As Jin advised silence from Jungkook, I advise the same from you.”

“What if I’m not quiet?” I wondered. “You can’t do anything; you have a very important meeting that you just can’t miss.” I blinked up at him. “Remember?”

He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, releasing it with a breathy, short exhale as he pivoted and went to his closet.

I watched after him, letting my smile dance on my lips in his absence until he returned with his dress shoes.

“You and I,” he said as he pulled them on, “will have a talk after work.”

“About your important meeting?”

“Watch yourself.”

“Or what?”

His eyes flickered in near annoyance, but from the way he looked at me, I knew it was annoyance from not being able to have our “talk” now.

“We’ll see, won’t we?” he responded drily. “When we have our talk.”

“Okay,” I chirped. “It’s a date.”

“A date,” he repeated, shaking his head as the corners of his mouth twitched. “Jesus, Faeryn.”

“What?” I asked innocently whilst knowing exactly what he meant.

“You’re feeling brave today.”

I shrugged, not quite able to hide the excitement toward the situation as well as before, too giddy to continue my front. “Yeah.”

“Uh-huh.” He pulled his other shoe on, tying the laces while keeping eye contact with me. “We’ll see how brave you are tonight.”

With a giggle, I agreed, “We’ll see.”

Groaning softly in his sleep, Jungkook tossed and turned fitfully before jolting upright and exclaiming, “I’m awake!”

Namjoon and I both turned toward him, surprised, and the freshly awoken, wavey-haired sleepyhead looked at both of us with bleary blinks.

“Oh.” He rubbed his face tiredly before performing a little scrunchy wave with both hands. “You’re all awake, too.”

Finished tying his shoes, Namjoon stood with a chuckle. “Good morning to you too, bub.”

Jungkook groaned and flopped back onto the pillows. “I don’t want to go to work.”

Namjoon shook his head, tugging at his belt in an attempt to ease the strain on his confined cock. “I’m not doing this with both of you this morning. Jungkook, bub, you have around twenty minutes to lay in bed, but when your alarm goes off, get up. We have a meeting today, and we can’t be late.”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, teasing. “A very important meeting.”

“That’s enough out of you,” Namjoon shot back, but I saw his smile as he walked to his bedside table for his phone. “Bub, I need confirmation that you heard me.”

Jungkook waved his hand around before dropping it back onto the bed.

“Good.” Namjoon slipped his phone into his pocket. “I want you to get ready, Faeryn.”

“I don’t have to get up for another twenty minutes,” I countered, wanting to stay and cuddle with a sleepy Jungkook.

“If you stay in here, you and Jungkook will be up to no good.” Namjoon lifted me from his bed easily, setting me on my feet and nudging me toward the door. “Go brush your teeth and get dressed.”

“But I don’t have any important meetings,” I insisted. “It’s too early to be awake.” I hopped from side to side on the cold floor, dearly missing the comfort of socks. “I can go back to sleep for another hour.”

“You’re not taking the bus,” Namjoon said decidedly. “And since we’re all leaving early, you’re coming with us.”

I shook my head, turning in an attempt to get back to Jungkook, but Namjoon was quick. Pushing up against me, he kept a firm grip on my waist, keeping me facing ahead. A startled moan slipped past my lips when he ground against me, his mouth near my ears as he gravelly instructed, “Don’t make me tell you again.”

With a sharp shudder, his dominance won as I nodded, missing the heat of his body as he nudged me again to the door.

“Go,” he commanded, and without another argument from me, I hung my head and walked to my room to get ready.

After I was ready, I curled up on the living room couch as everyone else bustled around eating breakfast and grabbing what they needed for work.

I sucked on my straw as I drank my protein shake, leisurely nibbling on half a grilled cheese sandwich Jin made me, saying it was good to eat something with substance along with my shake.

Watching a get-ready-with-me makeup video on social media, I rested my cheek against the couch pillow contentedly as I admired the precision and swiftness of the woman applying her makeup.

She applied some kind of white eyeliner to her eyes, and when she added glitter, a breathless gasp left me.

“Pretty,” I whispered.

“What are you watching, sweetheart?” Hoseok lowered himself to my height, kissing my forehead tenderly as he awaited my response. “Is your food okay?”

“It’s good,” I confirmed, beaming up at him. “Jin made it for me.”

“How nice of him,” he responded with a smile.

I pushed my phone out so he could see the video. “Look at her makeup,” I gushed. “She’s so pretty, and she added glitter to her eyes. Isn’t that cool?”

“Very cool.” Hoseok watched the video for a moment, drifting his attention to mine and smiling when he saw the fascination and wonder in my eyes. “Do you like her makeup style, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out. “So pretty.”

“Do you want to try it?”

I hesitated, and looking down, I said sorrily, “I can’t.”

“Because of the texture?”

I nodded sadly.

“That’s all right,” he soothed. “Remember when we talked about trying the makeup I used to see if it didn’t irritate your senses? Do you still want to try that?”

Eagerly, I looked up at him with a quick nod. “Yes, please.”

“Do you want to try that out today at break? We can go to our break room for lunch to do it, and Lyric can come with us.”

Filled with excitement, I clasped my hands, causing my phone to fall onto the pillow. “Yes, please, I want to do that so much.”

“Then we will.” He caressed my cheek fondly. “And we’ll have everything we need to remove the makeup if you don’t like it, okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed hopefully. “But I hope I like it so we don’t have to remove it.”

He kissed me softly. “I do, too. But whatever happens is okay either way.”

“We’re leaving,” Jin called as he exited the kitchen.

Footsteps sounded throughout the house as everyone approached from their respective areas.

Hoseok gently lifted me and set me beside him, clasping my hand in his and leading me forward. “Let’s put your coat on.”

“I already have my two sweaters on,” I tried.

“It’s cold outside, sweetheart.”

“But you’re only wearing one sweater with your coat.”

“I have an insulated sweater, so that’s why.” He cupped my cheek fondly. “Do you want an insulated sweater instead of wearing two?”

I nodded hopefully.

“Okay,” he murmured. “Then we’ll get a few for you. But for now, can you please wear your coat and two sweaters for me?”

“Okay,” I agreed, finding it easy to do so when I knew he only wanted to keep me from catching a cold. “I will.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” With a kiss on my head, he guided me to the coat rack. He fitted my coat around me before coaxing my gloves onto my hands, making sure to add my winter hat on as well. Smiling at me once he ensured I was bundled up and warm, he dipped his face to mine for a tender kiss. “There we are; nice and warm.”

I tried to hug him, but it was difficult to do with the multiple items I wore, and with a chuckle, he assisted me, tugging me to him for a firm squeeze.

“Ducky,” Jungkook crooned, pinching my cheek when he arrived beside me. “Cute ducky.”

“I’m not ducky,” I refuted with a blush. “I’m Faeryn.”

“You are a ducky,” he decided, cupping my face and kissing me without break before I could escape. “A cute ducky, and my ducky.”

“We share the ducky,” Jin said drily from near the coat rack. Grabbing his keys, he instructed, “Let the ducky go and get in the car.”

“Sit with me,” Jungkook urged hopefully, pulling away to claim the hand not held by Hoseok.

I shifted from foot to foot as I watched Taehyung fit his coat over his shoulders, shooting me a charming smile when he caught my eye. My features lit up, and I decided, “Ducky wants to sit with Taehyung, too.”

Cooing filled the air, and multiple different ways to say how cute I was filled the air, worsening my blush.

“Stop,” I whined, hiding my face in Hoseok’s coat. “I meant to say that I want to sit with Taehyung.”

“But you didn’t say that,” Jungkook crooned. “Because you know you’re ducky.”

“I’m not!” I insisted, but when Hoseok led me forward and I followed with a little waddle, aw’s erupted in the air, followed by incessant claims that I was, in fact, a ducky.

Feeling like I lost the battle, I trudged after Hoseok, mumbling my regrets of accidentally titling myself ‘Ducky’ as we arrived at his car.

Jungkook and Taehyung kept me between them in the backseat as Hoseok made sure I was securely buckled although I insisted I could do it myself.

“I know you can,” he responded with a kind smile. “I just like taking care of you. Is that all right?”

I gave in easily and nodded giddily, kissing him happily as he patted my seatbelt and closed the door to enter the driver’s seat.

Switching the Indie Folk music radio on, he backed us out of the driveway, and I waved to the others as they boarded their cars.

When lunch break arrived, Hoseok arrived at my workstation to take me to his and the guy’s break room, letting Lyric know she could join us.

Lyric followed along as she rambled about her stressful day so far, and the only time she stopped talking was when she saw Jaehyun in the break room with the guys.

She narrowed her eyes and pointed her finger at him. “What is he doing here?”

Sitting close to Jaehyun, Jungkook’s grin wavered when he heard the slight hostility in Lyric’s tone. With wide eyes, he tentatively stated, “Jaehyun’s our friend.”

“I’m aware of that,” she dismissed Jungkook’s words with a wave, although she made her usual pinching motions at him to wordlessly convey how cute she thought he was. “But why is he in your breakroom?”

Jaehyun scoffed. “Why are you in their breakroom? Riddle me that.”

“It’s not a riddle; it’s a simple answer,” she retorted. “And I asked you a question I demand an answer to.”

Jin put his hand up, effectively silencing their squabbling. “I will send you both out if you can’t coinhabit peacefully. Lyric, take a seat and eat your food. Jaehyun, busy yourself with whatever it is you were doing before Lyric arrived.” With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the conversation as quickly as it started, and when his eyes settled on mine, his fingers flicked me forward. “Here.”

I listened immediately, wide-eyed as I walked up to him. “Yes, Jin?”

Without another word, he dipped his face, grasped the back of my neck, and kissed me hard. I swooned, dizzy as his tongue slipped past my parted lips to glide over mine. Leaning back slightly, his lips hovered over mine as he instructed, “Eat your lunch while Hoseok does your makeup. Yes?”

“Yes, Jin,” I stammered.

He nodded his approval curtly before administering a firm kiss. “Go.”

With wobbly legs, I made my way back to Hoseok, burning with blushes as I was met with Lyric’s smug expression. Jaehyun wasn’t the least bit surprised either, and he wiggled his brows at Jungkook who was adorning a blush at mine and Jin’s semi-public kiss.

“How spicy,” Jaehyun teased. “I’m sure Lyric’s used to it with her harem, aren’t you, Lyric?”

She flipped him off as she unwrapped her food. “Don’t speak to me.”

“Do you see how rude she is to me?” Jaehyun asked Jungkook with a sigh. “I had to put up with this all through my life, and even as an adult in my own workplace, I can’t escape from her.”

“By all means.” She spread her arms out wide sarcastically before dropping them back to her sides. “Go work somewhere else.”

He tutted. “Nonsense. I like my job here.” His lips spread into a slow smirk. “Why don’t you go?”

“Over my dead body, now hush up, Lyric is eating,” she confuted hotly.

He snorted. “Ridiculous.”

“Stop projecting.”

“Enough,” Jin warned in his authoritative tone. “I won’t repeat myself.”

Lyric sighed. “Whatever. I was eating anyway.”

Jin sent her a stern look that immediately shut her up, and she shrugged as she dug into her meal.

Slightly amused with the squabbling, Hoseok shook his head as he guided me into a chair. “Sit here for me, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” I agreed excitedly. “Do you have the makeup here?”

“Mm, I do.” He grabbed a makeup bag nearby and brought it to where I sat. “Can you hold the bag for me?”

I agreed readily, happy to help. “I can hand you what you’ll need next, right? I know some of the makeup names.”

“Of course you can, sweetheart.” He tucked my hair away from my face to frame it. “Thank you for helping.”

I beamed up at him. “Thank you for doing my makeup.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.” He kissed my forehead gently. “I want to do this for you.”

“Well…” I caught Yoongi’s eye, sharing a secretive smile with him before telling Hoseok, “I’m grateful you’re doing my makeup.”

Hoseok caught Yoongi’s and my shared smile, and although he raised a brow in question, he didn’t touch on it, amused at our wordless exchange.

“That’s all right,” he responded to my words. “I’m grateful you’re letting me do it.”

I offered my lips for a kiss, and he took me up on the offer immediately, kissing me multiple times before tapping the bag and prompting me for what he needed.

The process was fun and easy, and I pushed into his touch on several occasions, enjoying the softness of the makeup brushes he used.

I talked to him whilst I handed him different makeup items, and I occasionally watched Jaehyun and Jungkook interact, enjoying how comfortable Jungkook seemed to be with him, grinning and easing closer to his side while they talked and joked.

Jaehyun ruffled Jungkook’s hair after the latter made an especially funny joke, causing Jaehyun to laugh harder than usual. Jungkook beamed and leaned into his touch, looking at him with pride and happiness.

In a whisper, I asked Hoseok, “Jaehyun and Jungkook are close?”

Hoseok hummed in response, a fond sound. “They are.”

“Oh.” I nodded thoughtfully, happy that Jungkook had Jaehyun as a close friend outside of the guys. “That’s really great.”

Hoseok smiled down at me as he kept my jaw in his grasp to guide my face into the position he needed. “It is.”

“When did they become friends?” I wondered curiously.

“Jaehyun’s worked as one of our staff for about four years now,” Hoseok explained. “They got close about a year ago.”

My mind whirred at the information, and slowly, I concluded, “When everything happened with his old management.”

Hoseok’s fingers tensed, and I took note of how his jaw locked. Momentarily, he confirmed, “That’s right.”

“Jaehyun was there for him?” I asked hopefully.

“He was. He…” Hoseok exhaled deeply. “Yes. He was there for him.”

Considering his facial expressions and the rigid way that he held the makeup brush, I took note of the cues and decided he didn’t want to talk about it further. Shifting the topic, I tried, “I like the makeup brush.”

His features softened slightly. “Do you?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed quickly. “It’s really soft.”

“Good,” he murmured, his features slowly easing.

I smacked my lips together, saying an exaggerated, “Mwah” to let him know I would kiss him if I could.

He chuckled. “I’ll kiss you once I’m done, sweetheart.”

“I can’t wait,” I let him know, my mind still revolving around Jungkook’s old management.

“You’ll get as many kisses as you want.”

I beamed. “Best.”

“Best what?”

“You’re the best.”

“So are you,” he responded, his tone lighter than before.

Pleased that I’d eased the tension of our previous topic, I gave him my best smile. “I can’t wait to see how I look.”

“I’m almost done,” he said with a light chuckle. “Are you excited?”

“Really excited,” I gushed.

He caressed my chin as he applied a type of lip gloss/lip plumper onto my lips, instructing me to pucker my lips every so often to help the application. Once I smacked them together, I waited for the uncomfortable feeling lipstick usually brought—matted and sticky—but it didn’t happen.

Agape, I stammered, “It’s not sticky.”

“It’s more of a gloss,” he explained fondly. “It won’t feel sticky like lipstick.”

“I like it,” I exclaimed. “Best.”

“Best what?”

“Lip gloss is the best!”

He laughed, a light, melodic sound, and a few of the others turned their smiles our way.

“Having fun, honey?” Jimin asked.

“So much fun,” I rambled happily. “Hobi’s doing pretty makeup on me.”

“There she is,” Namjoon noted drily, exchanging a similar, amused look with Jin. “With her Hobi who coddles her.”

“Can you blame him?” Jimi laughed. “She’s too sweet.”

“Yeah!” Jungkook piped up, pausing his conversation with Jaehyun to do so. “Faeryn’s the sweetest.”

I blushed when Lyric and Jaehyun turned to look at me, wiggling in an attempt to position myself completely behind Hoseok to hide from their line of sight.

“Stay still for me,” Hoseok instructed laughingly.

“Hide me,” I pleaded.

He repositioned himself as the others laughed at my request, effectively shielding me from everyone.

“Thank you,” I breathed out, relieved. “They were teasing me too much.”

“Oh, I know, sweetheart, I know, but it’s okay. I won’t let them ruin our makeup time.”

“Enough,” Lyric balked. “Such gross coddling.”

“Lookie here,” Jaehyun taunted. “Lyric is jealous.”

“Oh, you piece of—”

Someone’s shoe tapped the ground, and Lyric and Jaehyun immediately shut up. I quickly realized Jin had tapped his shoe to earn their attention—a silent warning—and I giggled at the effectiveness.

Hoseok chuckled and surprised me when he moved back to grab a hand mirror. Positioning it in my hand, he smiled. “Take a look.”

With a gasp, I took in my reflection adorning a similar makeup style as the woman wore in the get-ready-with-me video I watched this morning.

“Hobi,” I breathed out in shocked awe. “This…I…” I tentatively let my fingers skim my cheek. “I look pretty.”

“You always look pretty,” he amended gently.

“The makeup looks pretty,” I re-worded, earning a nod of approval from him. “I—I love it so much.”

“Yeah?” he prompted softly as he threaded his fingers through my hair. “How does it feel?”

“It…it feels…” I waited for a passing beat, and tearing my eyes from the mirror, I looked up with rapid blinks. “It feels like water.”

“Water.” He cocked his head, and his small smile followed the motion. “Does water feel nice?”

“Really nice,” I attested breathily. “I—I’m wearing makeup and don’t want to cry or throw up.” A thrilled laugh left me. “I’m wearing makeup.”

He cupped both sides of my head, and the sight of my happiness made his features light up. “You are.”

With a squeal, I threw my arms around his neck for a tight hug.

“I’m wearing makeup, I’m wearing makeup!” I announced, clinging to Hoseok giddily before pulling away to jump up and down. “I’m wearing makeup!”

“You look so pretty, Faeryn!” Taehyung complimented, his eyes shining at my blatant joy. “It doesn’t feel overstimulating at all?”

“No!” I gushed. “It feels kind of cold—like water.”

“Like water,” Lyric echoed, grinning at me. “I don’t know what that means, but if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Jaehyun snickered, but when his attention was on me, he gave me a thumbs-up like I always gave to him. “Nice look, Faeryn.”

I beamed. “Thank you!”

Swaying from side to side, I looked at my other men as an assortment of compliments flooded down at me, and when my blush threatened to consume me, I clung to Hoseok's arm and squirmed in place happily.

I could wear makeup.

꧁꧂

At home, I helped Jin with dinner, and once everyone sat around at the dinner table, we talked, ate, and laughed.

It wasn’t a night I usually stayed over, those were Saturdays and Sundays, but I thought it would be okay to ask. If I didn’t ask before dinner was over, I was sure one of them would ask me if I wanted to stay.

As everyone talked and sat around leisurely, I finished my soda through my straw and watched everyone, content to do so. I still had my makeup on from earlier, and I still wasn’t overstimulated.

I was over the moon that I could now wear the makeup Hoseok used, and I found myself smiling now and then when I remembered I could.

After some time, I slipped my phone from my pocket, hiding my smile as I schemed.

Taehyung looked up at me, and I tried to stifle my giggle. He grinned and looked back down at his phone, letting his fingers fly away as he texted me.

Looking up from his phone, Taehyung shared a grin with me before turning his attention to Jin. Considering a moment, he leaned back in his seat before sitting back up, saying quite loudly, “Wouldn’t ice cream be nice right now, Jungkook?”

Jungkook, unaware of what scheming was occurring, looked at Taehyung with doe eyes. “Yeah, hyung, ice cream is always nice.”

“The weather would be so nice to walk in,” Taehyung went on. “Faeryn, don’t you think?”

I nodded in what I hoped to be a somberly fashion. “So nice. We could just be having our ice cream cones walking along different, fancy shops—even ones with chandeliers.”

Jungkook’s attention successfully caught, he looked at me as his eyes sparkled with awed excitement. “Chandeliers?”

“Oh yeah,” I confirmed as I tried to hold back my giddy smile. “Lots and lots of chandeliers and the fanciest shops ever—maybe the whole world, even—right next to the ice cream parlor.”

“We have to go,” Jungkook said in one breath, turning his eager-ridden features to Namjoon who was seated beside him in the middle of a conversation with Jin and Yoongi. When Namjoon didn’t turn to him immediately, Jungkook grabbed his forearm and shook lightly, insisting, “Joon, we have to go.”

Looking down at Jungkook, Namjoon lifted a brow in question, still engaging in his conversation with the others.

“Ice cream,” Jungkook persisted. “We have to go.”

Namjoon curled his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. “Why the sudden need for ice cream?”

“So we can look at fancy shops,” Jungkook pleaded his case, turning to look at Taehyung and me for assistance.

“The fresh air would be nice,” Taehyung supplemented.

“Yeah,” I agreed with a quick nod, trying not to seem too eager. “Especially after a Monday.”

Jimin swiped his thumb over his bottom lip absently. “That sounds nice.”

“Right?” I exclaimed. Standing, I put both my palms on the table as I declared, “We should all go get ice cream.”

Jin raised a brow at the suddenness of my proclamation, and with a quick study of my face, he came to a conclusion. Knowingly, he prompted, “Whose idea was this?”

I traced the lines of the flowers decorating the table. “Does it matter?”

“Faeryn.”

“Okay, okay, it was my idea,” I revealed as my giddy smile pulled through. “Because I really want ice cream, and now so do Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin, so we all have to go.”

Yoongi nodded slowly. “I would like to go for ice cream as well.”

“Yoongi wants to go,” I announced.

Jin’s brow remained lifted. “I heard.”

“Please,” I coaxed. “Imagine having your favorite pistachio ice cream and the cool breeze in your hair as we walk around—all together.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Are you a writer, Faeryn?”

“No,” I chirped. “I just read a lot of books.”

“The cool breeze in his hair,” Jimin repeated, cracking up. “You’re something else, huh, honey?”

I grinned. “Sometimes.”

“Isn’t it too cold for ice cream?” Hoseok asked.

“No,” I protested. “Hobi, no, it’s okay. I’ll wear as many sweaters and coats as you want me to, just please, let’s go get ice cream, okay?”

“As long as you wear a couple of extra sweaters, that’s fine,” he relented immediately with a small smile.

I gasped with pure excitement. “So we can go?”

“I don’t see why not,” was his response as he stood. Jungkook was quick to follow eagerly, Namjoon stood with him, and the others began to do the same.

With a squeal, I said my thanks multiple times before launching myself at Taehyung to whisper and giggle about how our scheme had worked.

꧁꧂

“How’s your stomach?”

I looked up at Namjoon as I patted my stomach lightly, seated comfortably on his bed. I showed a big smile. “Nice and full of ice cream,” I revealed cheekily.

He chuckled. “Another one of your schemes paid off. I’m sure you’re equally as full off the high of that.”

I shrugged happily. “Maybe.”

“Maybe,” he echoed, amused. “Uh-huh.”

I patted the bed with both hands absently as I watched him dry his hair in his adjoining bathroom. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s spending the night in his room,” he revealed. “As it stands right now, he’s in Hoseok’s room.” He chuckled to himself. “He’ll fall asleep in there as much as he claims he won’t.”

“Why does he say he won’t?”

“He’s convinced after hours of spending time with Hoseok, he’ll be awake enough to walk to his room.”

“Has he ever been awake enough to walk to his room after?”

“Not once.”

I giggled. “At least he still has hope.”

Namjoon, amused, hung his towel over the rack. “At least.” Closing his bathroom door, he wiped his hands on his sweatpants as he took in my form perched nice and pretty on his bed.

He arched a brow. “Are you wearing your makeup to bed?”

“I’m just waiting.”

“Oh yeah?” He walked forward, but every step was slow. “For what?”

I swallowed my excited anticipation. “For our talk.”

“Ah. Our talk.” He sighed. “I’d forgotten all about that.”

I hesitated, trying to gauge if he was being honest or playful. After a moment, I decided to take a risk and respond with, “I don’t think you forgot, especially when most of your morning was spent readjusting your pants.”

He exhaled shortly, almost a laugh but not quite. “Is that right?”

“It’s right.” I felt giddy at how I’d successfully guessed what his previous expression read, and high off of it, I added, “So I’ll take my makeup off after we have the talk you didn’t forget about.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked and locked as he stared at me, and slowly, he took another step forward. “Should we start with how you asked me to stay home or how you made me regret not being able to?”

I grinned cheekily. “Both, maybe. If you want to.”

“If I want to,” he repeated with a shake of his head. “Faeryn.”

“Yes?”

“You’re pushing it.”

“Mm…no,” I decided.

“Mm, yes,” he negated, now inches from his bed. Setting me with a look of finality, he confirmed, “You’re pushing it.”

“You’re pushing it.”

“You have no adequate proof of such a thing.”

I parted my lips to speak, finding his choice of words humorous, and I struggled to come up with something before choosing, “I could find some.”

“Where?”

“Maybe Jungkook heard our conversation this morning,” I continued after I thought about it with a playful grin. “He would be on my side, you know.”

“Would he now?”

“Yeah,” I attested, watching with arousal-laced excitement as he made it to me. “He would tell you to stop being mean to me and kiss me to make me feel better—and to make you jealous that you can’t.”

He arched a brow slowly. “Why wouldn’t I be able to kiss you?”

“Because Jungkook wouldn’t let you; it’s like a punishment.”

“A punishment.” His tone was dry, but his eyes conveyed his arousal. “What do you know about punishments, Faeryn?”

“I know about the punishments you do with Jungkook,” I answered as I struggled to keep calm when I just wanted him to kiss me and take care of me in ways only he could; harsh and yet somehow still gentle. “The one you did to me.”

“Is that all you know?” His tongue hit the roof of his mouth. “Then you don’t know the half of it.”

My stomach swirled with anticipation. “Because you’ve never showed me.”

“Is this your way of asking me to show you?”

Gathering all of my courage, I tried, “Maybe?”

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he considered me. Finally, he revealed, “I’m not in the mood for punishments tonight.”

My heart thumped heavily in my chest. “You’re not?”

“No, Faeryn. I’m not.”

“What…what about our talk?”

“We’re having it right now, are we not?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“‘Well, yeah, but’ what, Faeryn?” He towered above me, making me shiver. “You thought I would punish you for the way you acted this morning?” When I nodded tentatively, his chest rumbled in response. “How would it be a punishment if you wanted it?”

“Then…” I trailed off as I looked up at him, confused and slightly embarrassed, wondering if I’d read the entire situation wrong. “I don’t…I don’t understand.”

“You know to ask when you don’t understand something, Faeryn. Don’t make me wait.”

Swallowing again, I managed, “I thought…well, this morning when you said we would talk later, I thought you meant we would do…stuff.”

“What does ‘stuff’ entail? I’d love to know.”

A whine slipped past my lips. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he voiced his disapproval, his eyes flashing as soon as the words left me.

I jolted slightly, and averting eye contact—unable to meet the intensity that his gaze held—I stammered, “I thought that maybe we could—or that we would—have sex or…or like…” My cheeks donned a blazing red. “Foreplay stuff.”

“Do you think I reward the kind of behavior you showed this morning?”

“I…I don’t know.”

He gave me a moment to bask in my embarrassment and slight humiliation before leaning down and grasping my jaw. Lifting it to create eye contact with him, he spoke in low tones, “You made my morning very difficult.”

Burning hot everywhere in my body, I blurted, “You didn’t do anything about it this morning, and you’re not doing anything about it now, so it doesn’t matter.”

His brows slowly raised. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, looking at the bridge of his nose instead of his eyes. “‘Oh’.”

His grip on my jaw intensified, and before I could comprehend what was happening, I was on my back on the pillows and staring up at Namjoon as his body completely hovered over mine.

We were slightly out of breath, our gaze catching as our chests heaved nearly in time.

After a moment of inward decision, he said, “I don’t think I need to ask you if you know the traffic light system.”

“Green for go, yellow for pause, and red for stop,” I breathed out, thrilled at what his words pointed to.

The corners of his lips twitched as his eyes darkened. “That’s what I thought.” Dipping his hips to barely brush mine, he lifted them marginally to continually ghost against my hips. “Your arm.”

“Okay,” I rushed out. “It’s okay.”

“Pain levels?”

“Four, maybe?” I stammered. “It’s okay, it’s okay, please just—”

“We don’t rush,” he cut me off firmly. “Not with this; not with ensuring you’re okay. Never, do you hear me?”

I blinked up at him, nodding my quick agreement. “I’m sorry, I’m just—I’m excited.”

“I know.” He pressed a kiss to my brow, his words softening considerably from moments before. “I know, but let me take my time with this part. It’s important; just as important as aftercare and check-ins between now and then. Do you understand?”

I nodded fervently. “I understand.”

“Good.” His forehead brushed mine. “If you need to, you use your colors. Yes? That’s what they’re for. You use your colors and talk to me—or sign if you can’t speak. Okay, Faeryn?” I nodded. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I’ll use my colors,” I said quickly. “I’ll talk to you.”

“Very good,” he praised, making my chest flicker with appreciation and desperate want. “Now.” He kissed me, deep and heated. “Where were we?”

“You were going to take my pants off,” I decided.

His throat tightened, compressed as he worked around his quick-approaching arousal. “Is that right?”

Blushing profusely, I nodded.

He lifted a brow. “Go ahead. Tell me.”

In stammering accents, I revealed, “You’ll take my pants.”

“Mhm.” His eyes trailed across my face, dark and solely focused on me. “What else?”

“And after you take my pants off—” I struggled, not used to dirty talk, and opted for, “You said you would take everything off.”

“Everything, huh?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed shakily. “Because the fan is on, and it would feel nice and cold without any clothes on, and then you would touch me.”

His fingers ghosted my arms in a light touch. “Where would I touch you first?”

A small whimper left me, and I bucked my hips in response. “Here.”

“Where is ‘here’, Faeryn?”

“Don’t make me say it,” I pleaded. “I’m shy.”

“Are you shy?” He eased my hair out of my face. “I would’ve never known.”

With a little huff, I gripped his shirt tightly and demanded, “If you’re going to tease me, tease me after you take my clothes off.”

He hummed, pleased with my response. “There you go, asking for what you want.”

“I’ve been asking,” I said, agape as I stared at him. “For so long, but you keep saying I’m not ready, but I am, I swear.”

“I know, Faeryn.” He tugged at the waistband of my silk sleep shorts, taunting me. “But at some point in the last nine months, you weren’t ready. You’re smart, hm? You know that.”

“Maybe,” I reluctantly admitted, knowing how right he was. “But now I’m ready.”

“I’m aware,” he responded, amused. “That’s the only reason we’re in this position.”

I clutched his shirt and pulled hard, earning more proximity. “Take off,” I ground out, “my clothes.”

With a low rumble straight from his throat, he pulled my shorts off in one, swift motion, taking my panties with them. I was soaked even before his fingers prodded within me, angling and curling to ready me for him.

With his other hand, he squeezed my breasts, pinching my nipples rougher than I was used to and tugging to earn pained moans from me.

Panting, I arched my back, wanting—no, needing—more.

He only removed his hand from my breasts to remove my shirt, and I whined desperately when the cold breeze from the fan caused goosebumps to rise along my skin. The cold only furthered my pleasure, and I squirmed, breathless as he continued pumping his fingers in and out of me.

It didn’t last long—the prep. It was minimal, and I watched headily as he removed his sweatpants, allowing his cock to spring free. Greedily, I reached for it, but he put a stop to that immediately.

“You’re not touching tonight,” he told me, his voice laced with gravel as his cock nudged my entrance. “You’re going to lay on my bed and let me do the work. Can you lay there and take it? Do you know how to stop whining and let me take care of you?”

“I know how,” I insisted, indignant.

“Then why,” he confuted, “are you still whining?”

With a blush, I could only whine in response, barely breathing when I felt his cock so near where I’d been needing it for so long.

“Please,” I begged. “Please, Namjoon, please just—”

“Be patient,” he warned. “Or I stop.”

Lifting his hand, he wrapped it around my throat before my whines could continue, making me gurgle my appreciation from the pressure.

“That’s it,” he praised, a low taunt. “You can stop whining, huh? You just needed a little help.”

I nodded quickly, grasping his hand around my throat as my eyes fluttered contentedly.

With his features lined with approval, he pressed a kiss to my lips, a light touch meant to taunt more than to please.

“Use your colors,” was the last thing he said before pushing into me.

My lips parted instinctively at the immediate full feeling of his cock buried in me with a few, deep thrusts. It was a large intrusion, especially without enough prep, and my features scrunched in pain.

His lips nudged mine as he spoke. “Take a deep breath.”

I whimpered in response, releasing a pained gasp when his cock nudged deeper than before as he successfully bottomed out.

“Take a deep breath,” he repeated, his voice lower than before, sinched with pleasure.

I tried, but it only caused a sharp pain through my side, making me cry out.

He stilled within me, easing out slightly. “Breathe.”

“I—I—”

“You what?” He watched me carefully, angling his face to look into mine when my head kept tilting side to side. “Faeryn, talk to me or I pull out.”

I struggled to find words, struggled to keep my eyes open, and as my eyes filled, I pleaded, “Need you.”

“I’m right here.”

“It hurts,” I managed tearfully.

“Say the word and I stop.”

“No,” I stammered. “I just—I need you.”

“What do you need from me?” He pulled his cock back an inch, but the loss of fullness only increased my distress. He cupped my cheek. “Faeryn, I need you to communicate with me.”

“Stop—stop pulling out,” I gasped out. “It hurts.”

“Okay, I’ll stop pulling out.” His lips brushed my cheek. “I’ll stop.” Carefully, he eased back into me, making up for the loss.

The full feeling consumed me once more, and even if it hurt, there was a tickle of pleasure on the horizon that I held onto, knowing it would consume me once the pain subsided.

“Better?” he prompted, watching me closely.

“Better,” I stammered as I struggled to take a deep breath.

Experimentally, he rolled his hips, making a stuttered cry leave me—but it was laced with pleasure. He noted the difference and performed the action again, this time angling his thrusts to brush against my G-spot.

My mouth fell open, and my eyes closed against my will as pleasure erupted in my stomach. The pain only furthered it, and I pleaded for more, grasping his shoulder desperately in an attempt to ground myself.

He rumbled his approval as my nails raked along his skin, air hissing through his teeth as he eased back just to thrust forward. My body jolted with the movement, and I panted with pain-filled pleasure, struggling to think about anything other than being able to feel him everywhere. It felt like there was nowhere he wasn’t touching; I was full of him.

I gasped when he gripped my shoulders and pushed me deeper into the mattress, allowing him better leverage, his cock sinking deeper and deeper and—

My breath hitched with a moan, and my eyes swam with tears of pleasure and how overwhelming it all felt.

Returning his hand around my throat, he kept me still, and the pressure stabilized me, allowing me to feel the pleasure at a more heightened level.

His other hand lowering to my waist, he applied a dizzying amount of pressure as he stabilized me. “Look at you, taking it so well. Does that feel nice, Faeryn? A little pain?”

“More,” I gurgled around his hand. “More, more, more—” I moaned when he gave me what I asked for, hitting harder and deeper than before, the rough pace he set making the bed shake.

“Greedy,” he ground out as he slammed into me over and over and over until I forgot how to breathe without his reminders. “Clenching around me, begging for more when you already have me.”

Reaching his hand up, he squeezed my breasts, pinching my nipples until I cried out and arched my back reflexively, but he kept me pinned down, nudging our lips together for a heated kiss.

His chest rumbled against mine, and I keened from the vibrations. “Tell me what you are, Faeryn.”

I tried, stammering and mouthing the words as he kissed me without pause, but nothing left me, only spurring my humiliation as he chuckled at my lack of speech.

“Forgot how?” he taunted, pulling my lip between his teeth. Releasing it, he kissed my face, chuckling as I continued failing to speak. “Is this all it takes, Faeryn? A little pain and you forgot how to speak?”

The humiliation hastened my open-mouthed pleasure, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth to glide over mine.

“I know,” he sympathized, tapping his fingers around my throat as he kept me still. Kept me grounded. “It’s just too hard to speak right now, huh? Poor baby.”

I nodded quickly at the term of endearment, unable to comprehend just how and why it made me feel like I was soaring.

“Yeah?” He laughed lightly as he thrust into me, his grip on my waist sure to bruise. “My poor baby?”

My tongue lulled out of my mouth as I gave up on speech altogether, too caught up in enjoying the multitude of feelings ransacking me.

He kissed my tongue, amused. “You don’t have to speak, Faeryn. You can just lay there and take it; let me take care of everything. Is that what you wanted this morning? Is that why you thought you could behave the way you did and get away with it?”

I nodded eagerly.

His lips quirked as he nipped the skin beneath my chin, trailing down to leave hickeys along my neck. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you? Your scheming paid off.”

I whined in response, clutching his forearms tightly as I nearly drooled over the feeling of his bulging veins and rippling muscles as he fucked me.

“You like that?” His lips spread into a knowing smile against my throat. “That feel nice?”

Before I could respond, he lifted me, easily positioning me on his lap with my back facing him and my hands scrambling for purchase on anything. Dizzy from being manhandled, I didn’t have time to process anything as he grabbed both my wrists to keep me steady and resumed thrusting into me.

He angled his hips directly beneath mine, using his hold on me to thrust into me repeatedly. “There we go.”

I moaned frantically as he bounced me on his lap, shifting one of his hands to my waist as his other hand kept both my wrists in his possession. It was incredibly dizzying how he held me with ease, finding no difficulty in positioning me in the way he wanted me—in any way he wanted me.

I didn’t have to do anything; all I had to do was let him make me feel good—let him take care of me—just like he said, and it was more exhilarating than I could’ve imagined.

“Namjoon,” I moaned. “It—it feels—” I couldn’t continue, too lost in the pleasure.

“Oh, look at that,” he crooned. “You almost did it; you almost used your words. I’m sure it’s hard to do when all you’re thinking about is getting filled up, huh?”

“Yeah, feels—feels so good,” I stammered.

Pushing me forward without warning, my cheek met the mattress as my hands hurriedly tried to grip the pillows in front of me, but I kept moving—kept being pushed forward as Namjoon’s hips met mine with sharp, exact movements.

I couldn’t breathe, choking on moans and whimpers as his rough pace made me see stars.

“Shh.” His breath heated my cheek as his mouth skimmed near my ear. “You can do it; you can take it for me, can’t you, Faeryn? Being so good, laying there while I fuck you. Hm? Being so sweet for me.”

“Yeah,” I babbled mindlessly. “I’m being sweet.”

“You are,” he praised, his cadence as harsh as his thrusts as he kept me pinned to the bed. “Being so good for me; so sweet.”

I nodded quickly, and a low, strained chuckle left him.

“Is this what you wanted?” he prompted. “Hm? To forget about everything and feel nice?”

I giggled, absolutely beside myself with pleasure.

He tensed at the sound, and a husky groan left him. “Fuck, Faeryn.”

Clenching around him furiously, he cursed under his breath, his hips stammering against mine as his pace faltered before quickening. I moaned, high-pitched and needy, my face pushed into the pillows during one of his exceptionally harsh thrusts.

“Namjoon,” I whined, breathless. “Need you, need you, I—I need you.”

“What more do you need from me?” His voice dipped into a low rumble, nothing more. “Hm? How greedy are you going to be tonight?”

“Greedy,” I panted. “I—I’m greedy.”

“I know what you are, Faeryn.” He was amused as he was aroused; I could feel his chest heaving against my back. “I asked what more you wanted, not about what you are.”

“Greedy,” was all I could say. “I’m—”

He slapped my ass, the action making me cry out. “You know better; don’t make me repeat myself.”

“I don’t know,” I cried, tears of pleasure finally streaming down my cheeks. “I need you.”

“Feeling a little dumb? Hm? Can’t think?”

Flashes of hot, white humiliation flashed through me. “Yeah, can’t think.”

He crooned at me, dipping his hand to toy with my clit. “Poor thing.”

“Yeah, I—I am.”

He chuckled, tapping my clit before issuing a harsh slap. I bucked into his touch with a startled cry, unsure how to deal with the need building within me.

“Oh, I know, hm? I know.” He angled his hips upward, his hand around the back of my neck once more as he switched his pace. It was deeper; harder and slower—but just as harsh. Just as rough. “You don’t know what to do with yourself.”

My face buried in the pillows, I felt my orgasm approaching quickly, and not sure I could stave it off, I tried to ask for permission, but everything I spoke was muffled. I tried to lift my face but failed, every part of me shaking too intensely to work with me.

“Talk to me,” Namjoon instructed, using his hold on my neck to lift me up.

I gasped for air greedily, panting and moaning as my sensations crashed together. The cold air of the ceiling fan, the smooth chill of the sheets, Namjoon’s calloused hand on my neck, and his cock buried within me—it was too much.

I was crying for him, crying because of him, and I couldn’t get my tongue to work with my mouth as I struggled to convey my need to come.

Shifting his hand from my waist to slip into my hand, he slowed his pace as he spoke. “Squeeze if you need to stop.”

I shook my head frantically, wanting the complete opposite. More and more and more.

“What do you need?” His lips grazed my earlobe. “Try your best to tell me.”

I humped the bed from my position, moaning as the action earned the smooth sensations of the sheets against my clit and Namjoon’s cock to slip further into me.

He chuckled deeply. “Does the poor thing need to come?”

I nodded faster than I could comprehend, wordlessly begging for what I so desperately needed.

“Hm.” He slapped my ass before squeezing it. “No.”

My tears quickened, and I tried to look at him to convey my distress at the denial, but his grip on my neck denied me.

“Shh.” He eased my face back into the pillows. “Just stay nice and still for me.”

With both hands on my waist, he pulled me back onto his cock in time with his thrusts, making me nearly scream with pleasure.

I begged and cried, my body stammering and shaking as I tried with all of my power not to come, but it was hopeless with the pace he set. I couldn’t stop it; couldn’t stop the sheer amount of pleasure and the force of which it hit me, every limb shaking furiously as I sobbed through it.

He didn’t stop fucking me through it—if not harder.

Leaning down, with his chest to my back, he rasped, “You knew better.”

I tried to respond, tried to lift my hand to rub circles in my chest to sign ‘sorry’, but I couldn’t do it.

“You don’t come without permission, Faeryn; you know that.”

I was overwhelmed with sensitivity as the effects of my orgasm faded, leaving me twitching and writhing on the bed.

He clicked his tongue. “C’mere.”

Lifting my hips higher, he rained his heavy hand down on my ass, over and over until I was gasping for air, struggling to push closer whilst struggling to get away.

Confused, my body continued to shake. All I knew was that I needed Namjoon, and everything—as much as it hurt—felt equally, if not more, good.

“Do we come without permission, Faeryn?” he prompted. “Hm? Do we do that?”

I managed a quick shake of my head, earning another slap to my ass.

“That’s right.” Caressing the area that he slapped, he took a moment before slapping it again. “Do we break the rules? Is that something we do?”

I shook my head again, more desperately than the last time.

“What are we supposed to do, Faeryn?” When I didn’t respond, he slapped my ass, making me cry out. “Poor thing. Are you still feeling a little dumb, baby? Hm? Should I have known better than to expect you to answer a simple question?”

I nodded, whining and whimpering when he chuckled and switched his hand from my ass to my clit, offering a few, harsh slaps before inserting his index fingers into me. Unsure what to do with the sudden pleasure after the pain, I continued to cry, grinding on his fingers before a slap to my ass stopped me from doing so.

“Still,” he reprimanded.

He waited until I finally stilled, taking what he gave me, before removing his fingers to push his cock back into me. I clenched around him immediately, missing the full feeling he provided, and he continued his quick, unrelenting pace as if he’d never stopped.

My second orgasm was approaching much swifter than the first one, and this time, I tapped the bed frantically, needing permission. Needing his permission.

“Does someone need to come again?” he rasped.

I nodded furiously.

“Ask me nicely.”

I couldn’t speak; he knew that.

That didn’t mean I couldn’t try, and I did. I tried, babbling incoherently and stammering over each breath I took.

He laughed, the sound strained from his approaching orgasm. “Show me how good it feels, Faeryn. Go ahead; come.”

I came harder than before, crying as I ground against his cock through my orgasm. My pleasure only heightened when he came, the hot feeling an incredible contrast to the cold sensations of the ceiling fan.

Sobbing with relief into the pillow, I tried to cling to it, but like lead, my hands remained still, unable to properly grip anything.

“Breathe.” Namjoon sounded far away like he wasn’t really with me.

My features scrunched up as confusion slammed into me, joining my relieved pleasure, and my tears quickened because of it.

“Baby.” He was closer, but he wasn’t. I could feel his breath, but it felt like he was somewhere I couldn’t reach. “Hey. In and out—deep breaths.”

I must’ve been shaking my head—a part of me could fathom the motion, but it was difficult to distinguish when every other part of me was shaking, too.

“Faeryn.”

I couldn’t respond, mouthing against the pillows as my tears threatened to choke me.

Light flooded my vision as my face was lifted from the pillow, and confused, I struggled to return to it at first, but I didn’t get a chance to when something firm and sturdy pressed deeply into my chest.

I froze, and for a moment, I didn’t breathe. Then, I noticed what pressed against me was Namjoon’s chest, noticed the slower rising movements of it, his heartbeat, and his words surrounding me. I tuned in as best as I could, blinking blearily as I tried to listen to him whilst trying to see through my tears.

He tugged his shirt off swiftly as he kept a tight hold on me, and once it was off, he pressed my bare chest to his, making me shiver at the warmth that followed.

“There we are,” he murmured, pressing multiple kisses to my head as the pressure of his hold worked to calm me. “You’re right here with me, Faeryn. You’re safe.”

Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon.

My body hummed as it slowly relaxed against his, easing closer to his form until we were one.

Carefully, I tucked my face into his neck, nuzzling around in it before taking a stammered breath and sagging with relief.

“There,” he praised, gently coursing his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my neck and offer a firm, reassuring squeeze. “Nice and safe with me.”

Safe, safe, safe.

I mouthed absently at his neck, pressing sloppy kisses to it and wetting it with my tears as they ever so slowly began to dry.

Exhausted, my body slackened completely, leaving me limp in his arms.

“Nice and relaxed,” he repeated, keeping his tone soft and steady. “Nice and safe.”

I mewled in response, his words resonating with me as I completely gave in to the comfort he was providing.

“Such a sweet girl.” He kissed my head softly, trailing kisses on the top and side of it. “You were so good for me, hm? Did so well.” His voice dipped to a murmur when I made a quiet, questioning sound in response. “So perfect for me. My pretty girl, hm? Is that who you are? My pretty girl?”

I worked up to a nod, although it took longer than it usually did, but his praise from the slight movement made me beam.

“That’s right,” he confirmed, making my mind spin when I could hear the fondness in his voice. “My pretty girl who’s so sweet for me. Do you know how well you did? How good you made me feel?”

I nosed happily into his neck in response, and his chest vibrated with a low chuckle.

“So sweet.” He gave the top of my head another kiss as he rubbed comfort into my shoulders and back. “Here, baby. Let me see your arm. No, the other one. The hurt one. Yes, there you go. That’s it.”

He gently eased my arm away from where I’d curled it against his chest for comfort, keeping me from bending my elbow as I’d been.

Gently massaging and stretching areas near my elbow, he gauged my reaction to pain by the quiet sounds I made, but I barely made any, content and safe in his arms. My arm didn’t hurt much, the pain at the same levels as before we had sex, and once he eased it to my side, he instructed, “Let’s keep your arm here, hm? Not curled up. It’s bad for your elbow.”

When I didn’t respond, too busy kissing his neck fervently, he gently tucked a few strands of hair away from my face.

“Hm?” he prompted.

I jolted slightly with a whine.

With a deep chuckle, he soothed me with a few kisses. “Can you keep your arm by your side for me?”

I nodded with more ease than before, and he rewarded me with a gentle massage to my shoulders.

He nudged his head against mine. “Good job listening.”

Preening, I nuzzled against him in response, the praise making it easier to come back to myself.

A while later of his praise, gentle speech, and firm yet kind hands, I lifted my face to blink slowly back at him. After a moment of looking at him, I kissed his nose, sighing happily right after I pulled away.

“Nice,” I managed.

His fingers scratched the back of my head lightly as he smiled fondly. “Do you feel nice?”

I showed a thumbs up, watching with a giggle when he pressed a kiss to the top of my thumb.

Beaming, I brushed my nose against his affectionately, and before I fully pulled back, he pressed his lips to mine for a firm, gentle kiss.

Keeping me in his watchful, intent gaze, he pressed his thumb into my neck for a gentle massage. “Does anything hurt?” His eyes flickered across my face for any signs of pain. “You just point to where it hurts if it does, Faeryn. I’ll take care of it.”

It took me a second as I tuned into my body, but I came up black. Slowly, I shook my head.

“No, nothing hurts?” he asked. “Or no, you’re not sure?”

I held up one finger to convey my answer; nothing hurt.

“Nothing hurts?” he queried. I nodded. “Good.” His smile brightened when mine turned giddy. “You’re doing so well communicating with me.” Into another kiss on my forehead, he added, “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

I beamed, ecstatic at the praise and pet name.

He chuckled. “Happy girl.”

I nodded my eager agreement, earning a plethora of kisses from him.

“Do you feel up to letting me take you to my bathroom to get you cleaned up?” He caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I can use a washcloth, get you into a nice, warm bath, or you can take a shower—either with or without me. Whatever you want, baby, we’ll do.”

Trying my hardest to think and speak, I came up with, “Want to.”

He arched a fond, amused brow. “Which one do you want to do?”

I took more time to think. “Maybe.”

Chuckling, he held up his hand, wiggling his fingers at me. “One.” He lowered one finger. “Bath. Two”—he lowered another finger—“washcloth, or three, shower.”

I thought and thought, then pointed to the first finger he had lowered.

“Bath?” he confirmed.

I nodded, pointed to me, then to him.

“A bath together?” he guessed, and when I confirmed, he smiled, pleased with my response. “What a great idea.”

He lifted me, and surprised, I squealed, giggling as I clung to him. Locking my legs around his waist, I held on tight as he carried me to his adjoining bathroom, but I didn’t need to; he had a firm enough hold on me to keep from falling.

In the bath, nearly covered in bubbles and the pink color of my favorite bath bomb, I sat between his legs as he gently washed my body and hair.

“Comfy,” I said dazedly, leaning my head back to beam up at him.

He kissed my head with a fond chuckle. “It’s comfy in the bath, Faeryn?”

“Comfy,” I confirmed with a big smile.

He caressed my chin as he gently angled my face back forward so I wouldn’t strain my neck. “Mhm.”

I popped a few of the bubbles, humming happily to myself as I tried but failed to carry bubbles from the water to put on Namjoon, but I was content. Safe. I was happy.

The bath water was turning cold, my silent ways of communicating by popping bubbles, splashing the water, and nudging Namjoon’s feet with mine beneath the water made him laugh every so often, and maybe that’s why it felt right to say what I said next. I was warm even in the cold water; Namjoon’s body made sure of it, but it wasn’t just external warmth. It was internal. Eternal, maybe. It felt like it. I was warm everywhere.

“Namjoon?”

“I’m here, baby.”

“Love you.” I traced the lines of his palm before pushing my fingers to lace with his. “Love you, Joon, I love you.”

His body tensed against mine, but the tension in it left as soon as it came, his arms enveloping me as he squeezed me to him tightly. Securely.

His voice was low, a mere rasp, and his grip was almost compressing, but it felt good. Everything about him always felt good. “I love you.” Pressing kisses from my shoulder to the side of my neck, he exhaled shortly. In slight, reeling shock. “I love you too, Faeryn.”

It felt right to say the words to him, and it felt right to hear him say them to me. I felt as excited as I was content and relaxed, and leaning back to look up at him, he kissed me before I had to ask.

He lifted me from the bath after our kisses turned sated and languid, wrapped me in a towel, and cradled me in his arms. He helped me brush my teeth, dress myself, and dry my hair as I sat on his bed and looked up at him adoringly.

He kissed me until I fell back into the sheets, giggling and twining my arms around his neck as his fingers relaxed into gentle tickles against my waist. His handsome smile shone down at me when my giggles increased, and he kissed me multiple times in quick succession before deepening the last one as I relaxed in his bed.

I was warm. I was safe.

I was loved.

Notes:

PHEW 😩 that was a wild ride HOLY SHIT

Wait, what was that? You said it wasn't wild enough for you? Huh. Well. Maybe the double update this Friday at 2PM EST will be wild enough for you...

😜

Chapter 35: Teasing, Degrading, Loving

Summary:

Jungkook and Faeryn are joined by Jimin and Namjoon for intense bedroom time.

Notes:

Disclaimer: This is a little more intense than usual sex scenes I write, but everything has been talked about at length between the characters beforehand, even if it's not on page. This will be touched on during the chapter, but it's all consensual! Degradation and humiliation are something that spur arousal for Jungkook and Faeryn, so they are completely fine with this. I just wanted to make this clear! Happy reading!

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Jimin groaned as he opened Jungkook’s bedroom door and walked in.

“My two angels,” he lamented, heading toward Jungkook’s bed where he and I were cuddling. “I’ve been missing you all day.”

My features broke into a big smile. “Stay with us!”

“Yeah, hyung, stay!” Jungkook agreed, patting his bed invitingly. “We’re watching a scary movie, and I’m letting Faeryn hold onto me when she gets scared.”

“Oh, are you?” Jimin crooned. “You’re being so strong for her, bunny.”

Jungkook puffed his chest out proudly. “I am.”

Jimin chuckled. “How about you let me sit in the middle, hm? Let me get close to both of you.”

Jungkook looked at me questioningly, seeming hesitant to let me go when I only agreed to try a scary movie if he held me.

“It’s okay,” I assured him quickly. “With you and Jimin, I probably won’t be really scared.”

“Probably,” Jimin said, endeared. “Oh, poor thing. Why are you watching scary movies, honey? You don’t like them.”

“But you all do,” I responded as he sat between Jungkook and me. “I wanted to watch what you all like.”

“Don’t force yourself to watch something scary, sweet girl.” He kissed my head as he tugged Jungkook and me firmly into his side with ease. “We’ll change the channel whenever you say the word if you do, okay? You just tell us however you can at the moment.”

“I won’t get too scared,” I said uncertainly.

“Mhm,” he mused, a smile tugging at his lips when he looked down at me. “Have you just been in here watching scary movies all day, hm? The both of you? I haven’t seen either of you for hours.”

“Um…no,” Jungkook said, a bright red. “We haven’t just been watching scary movies.”

“No?” Jimin’s brow quirked knowingly. “What was my bunny doing with my sweet girl?”

Jungkook stammered senselessly before snapping his lips shut. I decided to help him and relay, “We were grinding. A little.”

“Only a little?” Jimin’s chuckle made both of our cheeks heat. “Were you just too embarrassed to go all the way? You’ve done it before.”

“No, we’re not embarrassed,” Jungkook defended. “We were just…we were also talking, so we were…busy.”

“Talking about what?” Jimin asked.

“Just stuff,” Jungkook mumbled, embarrassed. “Like what we wanted for dinner, what I’ve been painting, and her crochet projects.”

Jimin laughed. “You were talking about this while grinding? What, were you both just feeling a little horny?”

Jungkook whined, “Hyung, stop teasing.”

“Oh, but I’m not,” Jimin said innocently, but his wink gave him away. “I’m just asking questions, bunny.”

“Embarrassing questions,” Jungkook pointed out.

Jimin chuckled, turning his attention to me. “And when did you two stop having fun? When I walked in?”

“No,” Jungkook insisted. “A while ago.”

“Stop your whining.” Jimin pinched his cheek fondly. “Let your hyung have his fun, hm? You’ve been nice and pliant before. Why so bratty today, hm?”

Jungkook squirmed. “Jimin.”

“Shh, Kookie, you’re fine.” Jimin caressed my hair. “Did you have fun with Jungkook?”

Blushing, I peeked over Jimin to see Jungkook as I nodded.

Jimin tapped my waist. “I want to hear your pretty voice, honey.”

“Yes,” I blurted. “We had fun.”

“Good job,” he crooned. “Thank you for telling me.”

And there I went, squirming right along with Jungkook.

Jimin chuckled deviously. “It’s so easy to rile you two up, isn’t it? All you need is a little teasing.”

“A little teasing for what?” Namjoon announced himself at the door, and his name was breathed out by Jungkook and me simultaneously.

Chuckling, he walked toward us with his hands comfortably tucked into his sweatpants. The action tugged his pants down slightly, and with his shirt nestled slightly above the waistband, his sculpted V-line was on display.

I tried not to stare, but it was nearly impossible not to, and Jimin had already successfully riled me up—not to mention the whine that slipped past Jungkook’s lips at the sight of his adored hyung.

Namjoon went to him and reached over Jimin to give me a kiss, and I returned the action greedily as he kept Jungkook in place with a hand on his chest. Once our kiss had concluded, he rewarded Jungkook for his patience with a deep kiss and his hands roaming his body for firm squeezes.

When Namjoon pulled away, I wasn’t sure who was more breathless; Jungkook or me.

Namjoon smiled, amused. “What was this about teasing?”

Jimin smiled slyly. “Jungkook and Faeryn were having a little grinding time all to themselves, and I thought the best course of action would be to tease them, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Most definitely,” Namjoon responded, earning Jungkook’s and my protest. He laughed lightly. “Don’t expect anything less than teasing from Jimin.”

“But hyung,” Jungkook insisted, grabbing Namjoon’s shirt sleeve and tugging him forward to sit with him. “Jimin teases too much.”

“You’ll be fine, hm, bub?” He tilted his chin up for a kiss. “My sweet boy can handle it.”

Jimin’s sly grin remained. “He’s handled much more teasing than this.”

Jungkook’s whines returned, and with a mocking pout, Namjoon cooed down at him and soothed him with several kisses.

“Oh no,” Jimin teased. “Looks like someone’s getting jealous.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant until I realized how quickly my breaths were coming, and how I fisted the sheets as I needily watched Jungkook and Namjoon kiss.

“Not jealous,” I defended, high-pitched. “I’m waiting for my turn.”

“Oh, good job,” Namjoon praised, making me shiver with appreciation. “You’ve learned how to be patient, hm, Faeryn?”

Jimin laughed. “Did he teach you a lesson about patience, honey?”

I squirmed and nodded.

“Oh yeah?” Jimin mused. “Was this when you all had such a fun time without me?”

I nodded, quickly letting him know, “But it would’ve been nice if you were there, too.”

“So sweet of you to say,” he praised, caressing my inner thigh beneath the blankets. “Would you like a kiss from me while you patiently wait your turn?”

“Yes, please,” I pleaded hopefully.

He hummed in response, shifting his hand between my thighs as he brought his lips to mine. “Do you want anything more than kisses, honey? Tell me, and I’ll take care of it.”

“Yes, please,” I panted, struggling not to buck into his hand when it was so close.

“Oh yeah?” He nipped my neck lightly. “What else do you want?”

“Your hand,” I whimpered.

He chuckled, the sound vibrating against my skin. “I won’t make you ask me, poor thing. I know how shy you are.”

Grateful, I began to voice my thanks when he issued a harsh slap to my clit, making me cry out in surprise. I caught Namjoon’s and Jungkook’s attention, their eyes quickly flitting to mine, and I burned a bright red.

“Oh, shh,” Jimin consoled me, kissing my cheek. “You can’t tell me where you want me to touch, so I want to make sure I know what you’re talking about.” He issued another slap, and my breath hitched with a moan. “Is this where you want me to touch?”

“Yes, yes,” I pleaded. “Touch me.”

He and Namjoon both chuckled, and when I caught Jungkook’s eye, he was flushed and eagerly watching Jimin and me, drinking up the view.

“Faeryn,” he said breathlessly, his pupils dilating as my eyes fluttered with pleasure. “She’s so pretty, hyungs.”

“We know she is,” Namjoon confirmed, his low tone sending shivers down my spine. “And look at her, bub, spreading her thighs for Jimin under the blankets.”

Without being prompted, Jimin tugged the blankets down to show them my willingness.

“She’s already so wet,” Jimin teased, slipping his finger past my panties. “Are you just so excited? Hm? What do you think is going to happen?”

“You’ll touch me,” I stammered.

“Is that all that’s going to happen? A little touching?”

I glanced at Jungkook with a whimper, hoping he could communicate for me, but Namjoon clicked his tongue, wordlessly alerting me this wasn’t an option.

Panting, I pleaded, “I want all of us to…to touch and do more.”

“I know how shy our poor baby is, but you’re going to have to tell me what you mean by ‘do more’, honey.”

“Sex,” I heaved out. “I want us to have sex, me and you, and I—I want Namjoon and Jungkook to have sex.” Under my breath, I added, “All of us at the same time.”

Jimin tapped my clit. “Speak up.”

“All of us,” I repeated shakily. “At the same time.”

Jungkook nearly toppled over with his consuming blushes and quick agreement, gripping Namjoon’s arm tightly as he awaited his decision.

“Hm,” Namjoon mused. “What do you think, Jimin? She has a good idea.”

“Our pretty girl always has good ideas, doesn’t she, sweet thing?” Jimin kissed my nose as he prepped me with his fingers. “Oh, there she is, feeling so, so good. Ride my fingers, honey. Let me get you nice and ready for me.” He tossed a look over his shoulder at Namjoon. “Why don’t you take care of your boyfriend? He looks eager to be please and be pleased.”

Namjoon chuckled. “I’m watching you play with our girlfriend, so forgive me if I’m a little distracted.” Tugging Jungkook into his arms, he pushed him onto his back, lifting his shirt lightly to pat his stomach. “Go ahead, bub.”

As soon as he was prompted, pleas to be touched left Jungkook’s mouth, earning quiet laughter from Jimin as he continued pushing his fingers in and out of me.

“Good job asking, bub.” Namjoon squeezed his hip. “Up.”

Jungkook lifted his hips off the bed immediately, allowing Namjoon to remove his pants.

“Thank you, thank you,” Jungkook hurried to say before he had even been touched.

“Do I have such an eager boy tonight?” Namjoon prompted, his hand feathering over Jungkook’s cock through his boxers. “Does he want to be touched while he watches Jimin fill Faeryn up?”

Jungkook shuddered. “Please, hyung, I want that so much.”

“I’m sure you do,” Jimin taunted. “Greedy thing. You’re going to swallow Namjoon’s cock right up while Faeryn bounces on mine, aren’t you, Kookie? Hm? Give me a nod.”

Jungkook nodded, his features tight as he impatiently waited for Namjoon to remove his boxers.

Namjoon, however, took his time, stroking him through his boxers until Jungkook’s cock was fully hard—although it didn’t take much to get there considering he was almost there.

“There we are.” Namjoon pulled the boxers down dangerously slow, and Jungkook’s cock sprang free to hit his stomach once released.

He was painfully hard, his usual pretty pink tip turning red, and his lips quivered as he struggled to remain patient.

“What’s got you this hard, bub?” Namjoon asked, his voice laced with teasing. “Is Jimin’s filth rubbing off on you?”

“Faeryn’s so pretty,” Jungkook responded without hesitation, his eyes glued to mine as I arched my back. “She’s—she’s taking his fingers so deep. I can’t even see them fully when they go in.”

Jimin hummed, please. “If humanly possible, she’ll look even prettier on my cock, right where she belongs. Isn’t that right, pretty girl?” He quickened his pace, making me moan. “I’m just not sure if you can be any prettier than you always are, hm? So pretty, baby.”

Namjoon voiced his approval as he earned Jungkook’s attention with his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it achingly slowly.

“Hyung,” Jungkook begged. “Faster, please? Like Jimin?”

“Oh?” Namjoon’s hand stilled. “I see. You want Jimin to touch you.”

“No, no, hyung,” Jungkook implored. “I want you to go faster like he’s going.”

Namjoon sighed. “Do I have to remind you how to be patient?”

His eyes widened. “No, hyung, I’m patient.”

“Then lay there and quit your whining.” He lifted a brow. “Am I understood, Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded quickly. “Yes, hyung, sorry, hyung.”

Namjoon’s eyes raked upon Jungkook’s exposed body, gratification flickering in his eyes followed by pride for who belonged to him. “Good boy.”

He rewarded Jungkook with a tighter grip on his cock, running his thumb over the tip before gently squeezing the head.

Jungkook shuddered, his eyes latching onto mine as Jimin pulled me further into the pleasure he was providing. I held eye contact with him as best as I could as my eyelids kept fluttering, the sight of his pleasure furthering mine.

“Jungkook,” I whimpered, reaching for him.

He took my hand immediately, gasping when Namjoon pressed a kiss to the head of his cock.

“Hyung,” he begged. “Please, please take care of me.”

It was the right thing to say—the perfect thing to say—and as approval lined Namjoon’s features, he kissed Jungkook deeply before easily and swiftly manhandling him onto his hands and knees.

Jungkook didn’t have time to react as Namjoon slipped his fingers into him, quickly matching the pace of Jimin’s, and Jungkook and I moaned in unison.

I’d missed Jimin’s sensual touch; lately, it had been sweet and caring—and even though it held a hint of that now—it was charged, and I was ravenous for it.

“Jimin,” I moaned. “I need you.”

“You need my cock, honey? Need to feel it?”

“Yeah,” I whimpered. “I missed you.”

“Oh, honey.” He offered me a bruising kiss. “I missed you, too.”

Surprising me, he propped me onto my hands and knees, and I squeaked when he and Namjoon positioned Jungkook and me to face each other.

“There you both are,” Jimin praised. “I’m sure you’d both like to kiss while you get filled up, wouldn’t you?”

Jungkook shifted forward to kiss me, but Namjoon’s grip on his hips kept him still.

“Be patient,” Namjoon instructed, slapping his ass in retribution. “Are you full of cock yet?”

“No,” Jungkook stammered.

“Then stay still,” Namjoon commanded.

Jungkook’s lips turned downward plaintively as he looked at me hopefully, waiting for when he could kiss me and for when Namjoon would give him what he needed.

“All prepped and ready for me.” Jimin patted between my thighs, chuckling shortly after. “Messy, messy girl.”

I pushed my hips back to meet his hand, gasping when he cupped between my legs to keep me still.

“You heard Namjoon,” he said, a light warning to his tone. “If you’re not full of cock, stay still.”

Jungkook and I looked at each other for solace as Namjoon and Jimin teased us, taking more time than necessary to prep us. We couldn’t kiss, but our lips were nearly brushing, our air intertwined as our gasps and moans filled the room.

“Don’t you two just sound adorable?” Jimin taunted, making me jolt when he smacked my ass. “Oh, shh, you can take it.”

I shivered, enjoying the different cadence in his voice and the sudden rough exterior; a reminder of Namjoon’s.

Namjoon hummed as he tracked the sudden change in my features. “You like when Jimin treats you like this, Faeryn? You like it when he’s a little mean?”

I turned red, but knowing I wouldn’t get what I wanted without asking for it, I managed, “I like it.”

Jimin rubbed my stomach as he lifted my shirt above my bralette. “I know you do, honey.” Offering my nipples a pat before tugging my bralette beneath my breasts, he hummed, please. “Look at how nice they sit. Namjoon, Jungkook, look at how pretty.”

I squirmed, burning inside and out at their ravenous attention.

Jungkook was dying for it, his tongue nearly lulling out of his mouth as he wordlessly pleaded for a taste.

Jimin laughed lightly. “Look at how horny you’ve made him, Faeryn. Look at what you did to him.”

“Jungkook,” I panted.

“Faeryn,” he whined, his breath hitching when our lips almost greeted.

Namjoon kneaded Jungkook’s ass, offered a few pats that turned into slaps, and rubbed for solace while Jungkook moaned.

“I think we should torture them a bit,” Jimin mused. “Make them beg for it.”

“And are they not,” Namjoon drew his words out, amused, “already begging for it?”

“You not in for a fun time? Don’t want to see your boyfriend and our girlfriend edge themselves to denial?”

“Denial?” Jungkook asked, out of breath. “No, hyung will let me come.”

“Oh no, Kookie, do you have your hyungs mixed up?” Jimin pouted mockingly. “Because your hyungs right here don’t care if you come or not. They just want to see you get riled up.”

“No,” Jungkook tried again, looking up at Namjoon hopefully. “Hyung is gentle.”

“Hyung is gentle.” Namjoon caressed Jungkook’s chin before facing him forward again. “But hyung enjoys watching you squirm.”

“And,” Jimin went on wryly, “they were both playing with themselves without letting us join the fun. That calls for a bit of payback, no?”

I whined, shaking my head furiously.

Jimin’s chest met my upper back as he leaned down and angled his face to mine, stealing a kiss from my cheek. “Do you have a say in this, honey, or is your job to be still until I decide to fuck you?”

I could barely breathe.

He squeezed my ass warningly. “I know you can use your words. Don’t keep me waiting.”

“Stay still,” I stammered. “That’s my job.”

“That’s right,” he praised. “See? Such a smart girl when she tries.”

I shivered, the slight degradation making my stomach twist with anticipation and arousal.

He laughed and kissed my cheek again, moving forward to do the same with Jungkook.

“Both of you need to listen,” he said, his voice silvery, smooth, and laced with condescension.

“I am listening,” I insisted.

“Oh, are you? Is this the best listening you can do?” He clicked his tongue. “I should try my best listening and leave you here untouched. That’s what you said you wanted, wasn’t it? Or is my listening wrong?”

I clutched the blankets, defenseless against his quips and silver tongue.

His fingers tapped my waist. “I know you think it’s okay not to answer when spoken to, but that doesn’t make it right.”

“No,” I said quickly, eager to say the right thing to gain his touch. “Your listening isn’t wrong.”

“Then whose listening is wrong?”

“Mine,” I whined.

“Yeah?” he mocked. “Yours?”

Namjoon chuckled. “Got a little mean streak going on there, huh?”

I heard Jimin’s grin. “Oh, you noticed?” He released a long breath, a mix of a groan and a sigh of pleasure. “I’ve wanted to play with our pretty girl for so long, but I didn’t think she was ready for two mean doms at once.”

I shuddered eagerly.

“Ah, but I think she is,” Namjoon returned, the sounds of him prepping Jungkook filling the room. “Look at her presenting her pussy to you, just aching to be filled the way she was meant to be.”

Their words, their rough cadence, their dirty talk—I wasn’t sure how I was still breathing. Jungkook looked like he was having trouble too, his hyungs speaking about what they wanted to do to me sending him into overdrive. It seemed like all he needed was Namjoon’s fingers and him and Jimin to talk about fucking me; he was approaching his orgasm untouched.

Jimin noticed, and a sly laugh left him. “Might want to slow down.”

“He can take it,” was Namjoon’s sure response, his lips twitching along with Jungkook’s body. “Tell Jimin who can take it.”

“I—I can,” Jungkook stammered. “I can take it.”

“And what will help you take it?”

Jungkook froze, Namjoon’s words seemingly insinuating only something they understood, leaving Jimin and me out of the loop.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whimpered.

“Hyung expects an answer.”

Jungkook squirmed, yelping when Namjoon smacked his ass with force.

“Need it,” Jungkook blurted. “I need it.”

“Don’t be shy to say it because your hyung and Faeryn are here.” Namjoon glided his hand up Jungkook’s ass to his back. “Tell us what you need.”

Jungkook’s entire body jostled. “Cock ring,” he whispered.

“Speak up.” Namjoon’s hand lowered to Jungkook’s dick, offering a warning tap. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“My cock ring,” Jungkook repeated louder. “I need my cock ring, please, hyung, I need you to put it on me.”

Jimin was noticeably pleased. “What a good idea, bunny. Did you think of that one all by yourself? So smart.”

Jungkook bit his tongue to hold in his whine, burning bright red and shaking.

“Aw, he gets worked up so quickly,” Jimin mocked. “The poor thing. Don’t worry, Kookie. Your great idea of a cock ring will keep you from coming too quickly.”

Jungkook swallowed, his eyes big when Namjoon left the bed to open one of Jungkook’s drawers. Pulling out a cock ring and lube, he approached, making Jungkook’s breath hitch with every step.

“Ass up,” Namjoon commanded. “Don’t hide from me.”

Jungkook whimpered, lowering on to his forearms obediently.

“Good boy,” Jimin praised. “Gonna let your hyung lube you all up, ass and cock?”

Jungkook managed an agreement.

“Good.” Jimin squeezed my breast, making me jolt at the sudden pleasure and attention. “And what will we do with you? You’ve been awfully mouthy.”

“Something to keep her quiet,” Namjoon commented idly, focused on his task of lubing the cock ring.

“Something for her mouth, no?” Jimin suggested, his voice holding space for a promising idea. “I know just the thing for you. It will keep you nice and quiet.”

His lips grazed my ear. “If you move an inch by the time I return, I’ll know.”

I nodded quickly. “I won’t move.”

“Mm, that’s my good girl.”

With a quick kiss with his usual hint of fondness, he smacked my ass and left the room, his quiet laughter leaving with him when I whined.

I busied myself with staying still as I watched Namjoon finish lubing the cock ring and Jungkook’s cock. The latter twitched with every touch, his features scrunched in pain as he tried to stave off his building orgasm.

It was intoxicating, his sharp breaths and shuddered movements, his eyes flickering from the bed to me as he struggled to stay grounded. We hadn’t even started, but he was a mess. I couldn’t describe exactly what it did to me, just that I was hot everywhere and wanted his mouth on mine.

Jimin returned shortly, showering me with praise when he noted my motionless status.

I continued trying to be patient, but I squinted with confusion when I caught a glimpse of what he held while he and Namjoon spoke about the cock ring progress.

“What—” I began to ask.

“Shh, honey, don’t interrupt. We’re speaking.”

I blinked, flushing hotly. “Sorry,” I managed.

“Oh, don’t worry, hm? You’ll make it up to us.”

I watched as he walked over to me, not missing Namjoon’s sudden attention as he slowly pumped Jungkook’s cock with lube, readying him for the cock ring.

“You tried your best to be patient,” Jimin spoke down at me, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face. “But you just couldn’t do that, huh? Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it.”

Before I could ask, the object he held shone inches from my face. I could barely make it out before he pushed it into my mouth, strapping it behind my head to secure it. The sudden intrusion made me gag, and as my eyes filled from the exertion, I looked up at Jimin with watery eyes.

“Oh, there we are.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Since Namjoon’s occupied with Jungkook, he can’t shut you up with his cock, so we have this instead. Do you like it, baby? Hm? Whenever you get overwhelmed or feel like talking, you can just suck.”

It was then that I realized I had a silicone dick in my mouth; a dildo about the same size as Jin—which was no easy feat.

Jimin caressed my hair. “Breathe.”

I pointed to it with wide eyes because out of every possible idea, I was not expecting this.

“You’ll tap the bed three times if you need to take it out,” he told me, his voice softening an inch. “Or you tap as many times as you can. You just breathe in and out through your nose like you’re supposed to.”

Jungkook spasmed, earning low chuckles from Namjoon and Jimin.

“Looks like Kookie likes seeing you with a mouth full of cock, huh, honey?” Jimin caressed my chin where drool had started to fall, wiping it around my face. Tutting, he chastised, “What a mess.”

It wasn’t my fault and he knew that, yet humiliation still stirred in my stomach, growing my arousal.

He tilted my chin to create eye contact. “I’m going to fuck you now, and if you’re good, you can kiss Jungkook afterward. That sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

I managed a nod, starting to choke from the movement but instinctively sucking instead.

He hid a pleased smile as he left my line of sight, positioning himself behind me. Gripping my waist, his fingers padded against me as he waited for Namjoon to finish setting Jungkook up.

The cock ring was fit on, and I gasped around the silicone dick in my mouth when a light buzz came from the ring. Jungkook made a similar, tortured sound, but Namjoon kept the vibrating option off after ensuring it was effective.

“Later,” he told Jungkook. “If I allow you to come.”

Jimin chuckled, tracing his fingers up to my breasts and down to my ass. “What you have in your mouth doesn’t vibrate.”

I wasn’t able to form a coherent thought when the silicone dick began thrusting. It was a slight movement, barely accounted for, but it glided against my tongue, pushing back but not enough to choke me. More of a steady rhythm.

“There,” Jimin commended, pleased. “Doesn’t that feel nice?”

It did feel nice, only making me feel more embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” he teased. “You can enjoy having your mouth full. Let it fuck your mouth while I fuck you, okay? We’ll keep you nice and full on both sides.”

I was drooling, whining, struggling to stay still to get what I wanted, but it paid off when Namjoon held Jungkook’s waist and sent Jimin a nod, his eyes swimming with lust when he looked at me.

Breathing was already a struggle, but the intensity in his gaze when I was about to watch him fuck Jungkook for the first time was almost too much.

Jungkook was always pretty, but he sounded so pretty when Namjoon fucked him. I stored every moan and plea in the back of my mind as Namjoon slowly entered him. He was gentler with him as always, but Jungkook was wrecked as if Namjoon had been rough, making me realize Jungkook most likely couldn’t handle the rougher treatment I loved receiving from Namjoon—and now Jimin.

This realization hit me as soon as Jimin thrust into me, and I cried out, grasping the sheets for stability as he rocked his hips against mine. The initial thrust was powerful, but he eased it to a slow hump, getting me used to him while I sucked the cock furiously—desperately.

“Look at them, Namjoon,” Jimin commented as if we were all sitting and chatting, not being fucked in the best way possible. “Playing so nicely with their toys.”

Namjoon’s lips lifted, and a teasing laugh greeted the air. “My toys playing with their toys. How sweet of them both. Hm? Are you both so sweet?”

Jungkook and I nodded as quickly as we could, keening when we were praised from both sides and earned a rewarding thrust.

“We should’ve played with them sooner,” Jimin conversed as he angled his hips to hit a different part of me, earning a sharp breath from me. “They were all wound up in here—and all alone too, poor things.”

“They can’t control themselves sometimes,” Namjoon noted, amused. “It’s to be expected. Always grinding when they’re with each other, kissing and whimpering; it can’t be helped.”

“But they can be helped,” Jimin returned slyly. “A good fucking will help some of their neediness.”

“Some,” Namjoon mused, traveling his hand up and down Jungkook’s spine before gripping his waist and beginning a steady pace. “Mm, that’s it, bub. Let hyung take what he wants.”

“Faeryn,” Jungkook panted, his eyes almost rolling back. “She—hyungs, she looks so pretty.”

Namjoon chuckled, his grip on Jungkook’s hips tightening when his eyes latched onto my form, my body shaking with Jimin’s newfound pace—slightly faster than Namjoon’s.

“You’re right, bub. Listen to her moaning so pretty, stuck on Jimin’s cock.”

Jimin canted his hips to hit deeper, his fingers digging into my hips as he brought me back to meet his thrusts, making me moan desperately.

“That’s right,” he praised, his voice laced with pleasure. “Listen to the little noises she makes when she’s stuck on my cock with nowhere to go.” He leaned down, making me pant when it caused him to sink deeper into me, his mouth grazing my ear. “With no escape.”

All I could do was moan and whimper, sucking on the cock instead of using my words to beg for more.

“Oh, she’s—oh, fuck, fuck,” Jungkook moaned, high-pitched. “So pretty, so pretty, and Joon, you’re—you’re so deep, and Jimin’s fucking Faeryn so good, and I—”

“You what?” Namjoon snaked his hand around Jungkook’s throat, applying firm pressure. “You can’t come because the cock ring is making it too difficult for you, hm? You’re stuck on my cock while you watch Faeryn get fucked, unable to come yourself. Maybe we’ll let her come first and decide if we should let you come at all.”

Distressed, Jungkook tried to look at him to plead his case, but Namjoon’s grip kept him from moving an inch.

“Stay still,” he warned. “Or you won’t come for a week.”

Overwhelmed, Jungkook did as he was told, his eyes latching onto me as his cock bobbed between his legs, thrusting with the force. It was all dolled up, I realized. The cock ring was pink and bedazzled with stickers of bunnies and gems lining it. It made me dizzyingly hot to imagine Namjoon making Jungkook all pretty for him, slipping the cock ring on and edging him to tears until he came, stroking him through it and calling him his good boy.

I hadn’t been truthfully denied my orgasm, and I decided to hold it as far as I could before they threatened to hold it out of my reach like Jungkook. The idea of not being able to come for a week also kept me still and quiet, sucking on the silicone dick for comfort as Jimin picked up the pace.

“See?” Jimin’s low taunt filled my ears. “All she needed was something in her mouth. Nice and quiet now aren’t you, Faeryn?”

I nodded carefully so the dick wouldn’t brush the back of my throat, but it was difficult when Jimin’s thrust jostled the dick as it also thrust, making me dizzy.

“I know you wish it was a real dick, hm?” His fingers tapped along my neck, offering a light squeeze. “But everyone here is occupied, poor thing.”

I shook my head, desperate to convey I was fine with it; I was more than content to watch this scene and be a part of it in any way—also hoping my willingness would gain me an orgasm.

“Yeah?” Jimin prompted. “You’re okay with a fake cock fucking your mouth? It’ll last longer than Jungkook, at least.”

Jungkook whined his protests.

“Oh, I know, I know,” Jimin crooned. “You were just too excited the first time you and Faeryn had sex, but you always finish quickly, don’t you? You can’t help it. Your little cock gets too excited.”

Jungkook blushed furiously. “It’s not little, hyung.”

“No?” He squeezed my ass, surprising me when he pulled out. “Stay still, Faeryn.”

I listened, bobbing my head up and down as I sucked.

In front of Jungkook, his dick inches from his face, Jimin leaned down and told Namjoon, “Sit him up for a second.”

Namjoon was quick, shifting Jungkook onto his lap and thrusting upwards, making the latter cry out.

“Shh.” Namjoon absently toyed with Jungkook’s nipples through his shirt. “Be good for hyungs.”

Jungkook arched his back for more of Namjoon’s touch, jutting his cock outward toward Jimin in consequence.

“Aw, are you offering me this?” Jimin flicked the head of Jungkook’s dick, making him squeal with overstimulation. “This isn’t enough to satisfy me. That’s why Namjoon tops, isn’t it, bunny?”

Jungkook wouldn’t look at me, his chest heaving with each word Jimin spoke.

“It’s a pity,” Jimin continued, “that although you satisfy Faeryn, you can’t have her right now. She’s a little…hm…” His lips curved up. “Occupied.”

Jungkook whimpered, but heeding Namjoon’s previous words, he remained compliant.

Jimin chuckled and took Jungkook’s dick in his palm, lining it up side-by-side with his. He clicked his tongue. “Look at how tiny.”

Jungkook’s eyes burned, the humiliation spurring him on. “It’s not,” he defended half-heartedly.

“No? But look at the difference.” Jimin squeezed the tip of Jungkook’s cock, swiping a bead of precum up and down his shaft twice before releasing him. “Poor thing with his tiny cock. It’s a good thing you have Namjoon to take care of you, huh? Fills you up and takes care of that pathetic thing between your legs.”

My eyes widened slightly, and I forgot all about my orgasm, my mind set directly on Jungkook as I tried to speak as best as I could through the gag.

Jimin turned slightly, and Namjoon’s eyes quickly found mine.

“Tap the bed,” Jimin reminded me.

It wasn’t about me, I didn’t need to tap the bed, but if it helped me speak out in Jungkook’s favor, I tapped the bed.

Jimin was quick, beside me in seconds as he unlatched the gag and pulled me forward into his arms.

“Hey.” He caressed my hair, peering into my face with an expression far different than seconds prior. Any bit of teasing had dissipated. “What is it, baby? You just needed to stop for a second?”

Confused, I already missed the comforting weight on my tongue, but I looked past Jimin to Jungkook who was biting back his whines at losing Namjoon’s thrusts. The latter had stopped, and although his arms were wrapped tightly around Jungkook to keep him stabilized and show his affection, his attention was laser-focused on me.

“Jungkook,” I rasped, my throat stinging from the gag. “He doesn’t have a small dick. I love his dick, and it’s perfect, so no matter what you say, that doesn’t change.”

Jimin’s shoulders slumped slightly, and relief tickled his features. “Is that all?”

“Is that all?” I echoed, my confusion worsening. “That was mean.”

“Jungkook likes it,” he told me, keeping his tone soft and steady—again, a stark contrast from before. “I wouldn’t do anything we haven’t spoken of in advance that he doesn’t like.”

I knew that was true; Jimin and I had a discussion a few months ago about gags, and although I wasn’t expecting it today, he knew I would be okay with it.

This realization made me begin to relax.

“You’re okay?” I asked Jungkook.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” he said hurriedly, his features twisted. “Just”—he exhaled unsteadily—“need to be fucked.”

My eyes widened; I put a stop to his pleasure for no reason.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted. “I’m so sorry. I—I just thought he was hurting your feelings, and—”

“We know,” Namjoon soothed me as he patted Jungkook’s heaving chest for comfort, languidly returning to fucking him to keep him satiated. His actions earned a relieved, quiet sigh from Jungkook who let his head fall back to rest on Namjoon’s shoulder. “It was very sweet and caring of you to stop and check on him. Going forward in this scenario, everything regarding Jimin and Jungkook’s dynamic has been discussed even though you weren’t there to hear it. That must be confusing to see it all play out without knowing it’s been discussed, but Jungkook’s okay. No one will hurt him here; we won’t let that happen.”

I nodded quickly, relieved. “Okay. Thank you for telling me.”

Jimin caressed my cheek. “Do you want to take a minute to breathe?”

“No, I’m—I’m okay,” I insisted. “I just wanted to make sure Jungkook was, too.”

“I’m okay,” Jungkook said breathily. “I’m getting fucked again, and Joon is hitting so deep; I can feel him everywhere, and I—I want him to touch my dick so bad, but he won’t, and—” His eyes welled with tears, and a whimper escaped him. “I need it.”

“Needy boy,” Jimin chuckled sympathetically. “You’ll get what you need as long as you listen to your hyungs. Do you think you can do that?”

Jungkook nodded swiftly. “I can, I promise.”

“Then sit nice and straight on Namjoon’s lap and let him fuck you.” Jimin kissed my nose. “What color?”

“Green,” I confirmed, my stomach tightening with arousal and relief when he picked up the gag.

“Yeah?” he murmured. “Are you ready to be full again?”

I shivered. “Yes.”

He hummed in response, easing the gag back into my mouth. “Tap again if you need to. Never apologize for needing to stop.”

I signed my thanks, and he kissed the tip of the gag.

“Spread your knees apart for me,” he instructed, returning to his position behind me.

With a sharp breath, I did as I was told, awaiting his cock once more. When it returned to me, things felt right again, and I could focus on Jungkook knowing his feelings weren’t hurt. He was lost to the pleasure, babbling incoherently as our boyfriend fucked him harder than he usually did, still not at the lengths of his roughness with me.

The silicone cock returned to fucking my mouth in time with Jimin’s thrusts, and I struggled to keep up without choking, but it all felt so good. Jimin was right; the full feeling was incredible, and so was the stimulation sucking provided.

I was floating when he fucked me, mewling contently as I switched from watching Namjoon’s pleasure-ridden features and Jungkook’s scrunched-up ones and breathy whines.

My breathing sped up as Jimin expertly drove his cock into me, long and thick, and I moaned fitfully around the gag.

“Look at her.” Namjoon grasped Jungkook’s jaw, keeping it straight. “Swallowing Jimin’s cock, keeping it nice and warm for him.”

Jungkook shook in Namjoon’s hold, his cock hard and raging. “Pretty,” he stammered. “She’s so pretty.”

“Yeah?” Namjoon pushed him back onto his hands and knees, letting his lips graze his cheek for a taunting touch. “She looks pretty when she’s nice and full?”

“Always pretty,” Jungkook panted. “I wish—I just wish I was in her mouth if that was okay with her.”

I nodded rapidly.

Namjoon chuckled. “You want to stick your pretty cock in her pretty mouth, bub? Let her make you come?” He nipped his ear, dipping his tone dangerously low, “You wouldn’t last a minute.”

“I still want it,” Jungkook insisted.

“You’re not fucking anything right now. You’re being fucked, or have you forgotten?” He slapped Jungkook’s cock lightly, earning a desperate hump from him. “Should I remind you? Hm? Go a bit harder?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook whined, his eyes glazed over with dreamy pleasure. “Be nice to me.”

“Is hyung not being nice by fucking you?”

“It makes you feel good,” Jungkook fought back. “I’m being nice, too.”

Namjoon didn’t do a good job of hiding his smile, and Jimin beat him to speaking, suggesting tauntingly, “He’s getting awfully mouthy. I’m sure Hoseok wouldn’t mind shoving his dick into his mouth to keep him quiet.”

Jungkook almost came on the spot, but the cock ring was holding him back—I could tell. It was always hard to tell how close Namjoon was, his dominance fronting as he put Jungkook and me first, but his fingers were turning white from their grip on Jungkook’s hips, and his features—not to mention rippling muscles—were taut.

I wanted to see him come; I wanted to see him come inside Jungkook and fill him up, and then I wanted Jimin to fill me up and enjoy the feeling while my mouth continued being fucked. And like Jimin said, I would be rewarded by Jungkook’s kiss, and I was ravenous for it. His pretty sounds were edging me on, and I wanted him badly, but Jimin was keeping me occupied, bringing me back to meet his thrusts and keeping me from missing Jungkook’s lips too dearly.

Jimin was more open, easier to tell where he was at during sex—not one to hide his pleasure or how pleased he was to be providing it—and his hips were stammering as he took what he needed from me.

I clenched around him, and he cursed under his breath, quickening his pace.

Trying to tell him how good he felt, I babbled around the cock gag, drooling and making a mess as my eyes fluttered.

Namjoon clicked his tongue, and I looked at him, surprised.

With his hand lowering to fondle Jungkook’s twitching cock, he told me in a gravelly tone, “It’s rude to speak with your mouth full.”

I shuddered, the taunt driving me closer to my orgasm, and Jimin’s returning dirty talk made the process speed up.

“Jungkook likes the idea of being face fucked by Hoseok, honey, did you see his reaction?” He squeezed my breasts, tugging at my nipples. “We all know Hoseok is a gentle fuck, but I’m sure if you asked him nicely enough, he would be rough with Jungkook. Have him suck his cock and keep it warm for him, swallowing every bit of his cum.”

Jungkook gasped, his body stammering as he struggled not to come.

“See?” Jimin taunted. “He wants it. He might not be able to handle rough sex often, but when he likes it, he likes it. Takes it so well, too, just look at him. Poor little useless cock just dangling there, dolled up nice and pretty. Is that what it’s for, Kookie? For viewing pleasure only?”

“For hyung,” he panted. “It’s for hyung.”

“Which hyung?”

Jungkook gripped Namjoon’s forearms with a dizzying grip to stabilize himself. “My hyung.”

“You don’t want to share your cock like you’ve done before, hm?”

Jungkook’s features wound up with pleasure and embarrassment, and it surprised me when his tears began to fall. “I want my hyung,” he insisted, his voice breaking.

“Hyung is here.” Namjoon tightened his arms around Jungkook’s waist, keeping him grounded as he fucked him almost leisurely. “Tell hyung what you need.”

“You,” Jungkook said coarsely, overwhelmed. “I want you to be nice to me and take this off.”

“Use your words. Take what off?”

“My cock ring,” Jungkook managed through gasps for air.

“You have to come? Hm? Can’t be a good boy and hold it for hyung?”

Jungkook whined, frustrated. “I am a good boy.”

“Then hold it for hyung.”

Jungkook squealed when Namjoon pushed him into the sheets and fucked him in earnest, the sounds echoing through the room and mingling with Jimin’s pace.

Jungkook was so close to me, and I reached out, tangling my fingers through his hair as each of Namjoon’s thrusts pushed him further to me. His plaintive sounds mixed with my incoherent babbling, and Jimin chuckled, slightly breathless.

“Seems like they’re enjoying themselves,” he commented.

Namjoon pressed his hand against Jungkook’s back, keeping him still. “Seems like it.”

It was too difficult to stave off my orgasm any longer, and with the new pace Namjoon set, Jungkook’s high-pitched moans told the same story.

Jimin shifted his hand to my stomach, offering a few pats on his way to my clit, rubbing, patting, and pinching. “Are you ready to come all over my cock, honey? Does it all just feel too good?”

I tried my best to speak my agreement with my mouth full, and his low chuckle relayed his understanding.

“You want my cum to fill you up? Hm?” he prompted. “Would that feel nice?”

I nodded furiously because even with his condom on, I could still feel the warmth, and I needed it.

“Hold onto the sheets nice and tight for me,” he directed. “Be a good girl and take my cum.”

I moaned when he came, clutching my hips as he ground through it. His light, teasing laughter made me feel insane with arousal, and when he rubbed my clit and commanded in my ear, “Come”, I came so quickly and intensely I could barely see.

Chanting his name incoherently around the gag, I humped his dick, trying to keep it in me while I rode out my orgasm. He understood and kept still, grinding languidly to meet my frantic humping.

His laughter returned. “Look at you chasing your orgasm. It’s not going anywhere, honey. You can take your time.”

His teasing made heat flash through me, and I hiccupped on my moan, lowering myself onto my forearms for better positioning.

Chuckling, he took the hint and helped me, his hands on my waist as he fucked me until I slumped forward into the sheets face first. The gag choked me in the positioning, but Jimin took it off easily, lifting me onto his lap as I cockwarmed him.

“Shh, shh, poor baby.” He lifted the gag to my lips as I caught my breath, easing it back inside without strapping it on. “Just focus on sucking. I know you can do that, can’t you?”

Lost in a haze, I parted my lips wider in acceptance, hungrily swallowing and sucking the silicone dick as he pushed it in and out of my mouth.

Jungkook frantically begged, “Please, please, please let me come. I have to come—please, hyung, I—I can’t wait anymore, it hurts, and I have to come.”

Namjoon squeezed his ass. “Have you made me come yet?”

“No, but—”

“Then you know what you need to do before you’re given permission to come.”

Jungkook propped himself up shakily, watching me greedily as he pushed his hips back to meet Namjoon’s, trying to speed up the process to earn his orgasm.

Namjoon was nice enough to help, angling his hips, digging his fingers into Jungkook’s hips, squeezing and kneading his ass, and watching it shake when he offered light slaps.

It didn’t take much longer for Namjoon’s orgasm to arrive, and as soon as he came, Jungkook’s lashes fluttered, shuddering from the sensations.

“Please,” he gasped.

Still fucking him, Namjoon leaned his chest over Jungkook’s back and gripped his cock, turning the vibrating option on.

“Come,” he commanded.

Jungkook came hard, writhing and moaning as his cum painted the sheets.

Namjoon’s chest fell and rose quicker than usual, his pleasure making it so, and he stroked Jungkook through it, murmuring praise into his ears.

Exhausted, Jungkook would have fallen into his cum if Namjoon hadn’t lifted him into his arms, cradling his ass as he positioned them chest to chest.

“There you are,” Namjoon rasped. “My good boy.”

Jungkook nosed against his cheek tiredly, his expression shining with his sated pleasure. “Kiss,” he requested suddenly, accepting the one Namjoon bestowed but clarifying, “From Faeryn. Jimin promised.”

Jimin grinned slyly. “Such a good memory, bunny. C’mere.”

Jungkook hesitated, clinging to Namjoon, and understanding, the latter shifted forward to allow better proximity between Jungkook and me.

Still floating in my happy bubble while sucking, I protested when Jimin removed the dick.

“Shh.” He squeezed the base of my neck, shifting me forward. “Give Jungkook a kiss.”

Jungkook was greedy but tired, and we kissed sloppily, all tongue and saliva as we claimed our reward.

“So messy,” Jimin crooned, wiping my chin as Namjoon did the same for Jungkook.

I just nodded happily, bumping noses affectionately with Jungkook before Jimin eased me back and pushed the silicone dick back into my mouth, pumping it in and out slowly to further my dreamy head space.

Jungkook all but collapsed in Namjoon’s arms, happy to claim his kiss with me but exhausted all the same.

"We'll get you two in the bath after we breathe for a minute," Namjoon told us, caressing Jungkook's hair as he watched to ensure I was settling. "Get you both cleaned up and taken care of."

Jimin hummed his agreement, a sly smile sneaking onto his face. "And maybe next time, Hoseok will join."

Notes:

PHEW 🥵 This chapter was created because of a conversation with my friend Yeet_ya_yitties_intomyface (she's the best!) who had the greatest idea EVER so everyone say thank you 🤭 I hope this lived up to her chapter prompt/idea!!!

I hope you all enjoyed this more intense kind of chapter, and I'll see you on Tuesday and in the comments EEEEEE <33

Chapter 36: Bravery Ended in Cold Bath Water

Summary:

Faeryn braves a non-sensory-friendly location, wanting to try to get through it on her own, but an unexpected visitor is at the same location.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I could do it; I knew I could, as scary as it seemed.

I could go out on my own.

I’d been building up to it, talking myself up to the idea to make it seem warm. An iced coffee to soothe me—the feel of the straw on my tongue and the taste of the milk comforting—bundled up in my favorite jacket, and carrying Mr. Stuffins in my recently finished crocheted strawberry bag.

With my bag slung over my shoulder and my iced coffee in hand, I walked the cobblestone on a chilly Saturday morning, nearly the afternoon. The wind nipped my face, and I thought of Hoseok and his need to always keep me warm. With a small smile, my fingers grazed the scarf I adorned—the one he bought me.

With a deep breath, I steadied myself for the bright lights in the shop I was heading into, adjusting my sunglasses and earplugs, and stepped inside.

Knowing Mr. Stuffins was safely tucked away in my bag made me feel safe, like if I was overwhelmed, I could reach inside, squeeze his paw, and take a better breath than before.

When I was younger, my mom would let me take him everywhere. He was dirty from the outdoors and puddle splashing, but he was loved. He was mine. Just like I was hers. Her baby, she always called me.

Mr. Stuffins reminded me of her, and while he gave good hugs, his embrace didn’t hold a light to my mother’s. I missed her, and sometimes, remembering her would make the ache in my chest grow, but sometimes, it would ease it. It would remind me that someone in the world had loved me as much as she had loved me and that there was hope to be loved again.

Now, I knew it was true. That I could be loved again. Jin signed it to me, I was sure he knew what the sign meant, and Namjoon had verbally told me in the cold bath water. I love you, Faeryn—that’s what he said. He loved me, and I loved him.

Requited love was a gift. I was so glad to finally receive it after a few, harsh barren years without it.

The shop was pretty, and in Jungkook’s words, I’m sure he would consider it fancy. His affinity for fancy items and decor made me smile as I took one step after another to travel deeper into the shop. It was a bigger shop than I felt comfortable going into, but I was strong, and I was brave. I could do it; I could navigate scary things because I was brave, and I had my glasses, earplugs, iced coffee, and Mr. Stuffins. I could do it; I knew I could.

So, I traveled on, letting my fingers skim a few items that looked sensory-friendly. A few times, I pulled back, gritting my teeth and shivering when an item was not as sensory-friendly as it looked, shuddering and squeamish as I speed walked away from it and squeezed Mr. Stuffin’s paw. His sensory safety negated the non-safety of any items I didn’t like, and I hummed to myself to regulate, remembering to be quiet so I wouldn’t garner attention.

Halfway through my iced coffee, my eyes caught on an area upstairs, and I wearily eyed the only way to get there; the escalator. Heights made me dizzy and scared, but I wanted to go upstairs, so with gritted teeth and a determined nod, I slowly inched forward.

I went to the doctor and did dry needling; I could brave an escalator.

I couldn’t grip the railing as my hands were full, but I looked straight ahead, struggling not to panic as the escalator took me up. Shaking once I left the escalator, I tried not to think about how I would have to get back on it on my way down, instead going to the area that caught my eye; a record player.

I sifted through the records, beaming when I saw ‘Ocean’s Tides’, the album Yoongi really liked and had played in the background when we were in his room sometimes. I looked at it for a while, tracing the cover art as I thought of Yoongi, and satisfied after a few minutes, I went in another direction, keen on staying upstairs until it was necessary to return to the frightful escalator.

Thirty minutes passed of me idling through different aisles of shoes, clothes, and merchandise before I peeked over a display to view the escalator. Daunting and terrifying, that’s what it was. That’s what all escalators were, and I was slowly regretting my decision to come upstairs, but it was worth it, even still because I’d been able to properly look at Ocean’s Tides.

With a stammered breath, I walked toward the escalator. Almost to it, only a few aisles away, I came to a sudden halt at the sound of a familiar laugh. Pausing, I didn’t understand why my skin prickled or why goosebumps rose along the back of my neck. Gripping a display shelf for support unbeknownst to be, I craned my neck to look in the direction of the laugh.

Another laugh joined it, but it was female, unlike the previous male laughter. Unsure, I remained still, my eyes flickering as I struggled to assess.

It had been nine months; maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to immediately differentiate the laughter. It had been even longer that I’d heard the laughter contain the falsity that it currently did. It only sounded like that when it needed something; when it was reigning in a victim, but when I was entrapped, the sickly sweet falsity dropped away to reveal the cruel tint it was there to hide.

I wasn’t breathing. Not well. My chest stammered as I struggled to form coherent thoughts, ways to escape without being marred again, but I couldn’t move, and my elbow ached with the reminder of how it had once been broken. How it was as scared as I was of being broken again.

The laughter drew closer. Still, I couldn’t move, frozen in place and trembling. Every part of me.

The women’s laughter turned into teasing words, evoking sly, playful responses from him. From him. He was here, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t run. I was stuck, and he was heading for my aisle.

It was swift, how the cologne he wore wafted in the air. The scent tickled my nose unpleasantly, flooding my senses with trauma, and memories slammed into me, making my grip on the shelf falter.

I needed to run; I needed to go.

Why couldn’t I move?

Tears swam in my eyes, too afraid to fall, and panic made my fingers turn blue. Shaking. Shivering. Wanting to go home but unable to make my limbs work with my body to take me there.

I came into this store to be brave, to prove to myself that it was possible to brave bright lights, people I didn’t know, and unsafe sensory items, but a person I knew was here, and I didn’t feel very brave anymore. I felt pathetic, motionless and simply waiting for them to find me, unable to move.

His voice was closer than before. He was going to find me; he was going to hurt me, and maybe this time, I wouldn’t be fixable. Maybe all the dry needling and surgery in the world wouldn’t be able to make me better or ease the pain in my mind during the aftermath of him.

His steps sounded, and something in me broke. His footsteps at the front door of our apartment when he appeared after spending my money on bling and apparel, his breath reeking of alcohol as he towered over me with a sick glint in his eyes, demanding I work overtime for his welfare. His footsteps outside my room while I rocked in a ball near my door, hitting my head as I tried to regulate while he taunted me, called me a pig, and made fun of me for being Autistic. His footsteps as he slapped me, yanking me off of the couch and shoving me into the kitchen, telling me to stop being lazy and to make myself useful; to make him a meal.

Just as fear froze me in place, it kickstarted my limbs and pushed me forward. Shaking, I took a step back. The first step was always the hardest, but it was done, making the second step easier. Over and over, I stepped back until I left the aisle, but before I completely left it, he entered it.

He held hands with the woman he was with, both of them laughing and talking as if he wasn’t my waking and sleeping nightmare. As if he hadn’t left me with scars that still ached when I thought about them, the phantom of them reminding me of why and how they were there.

He saw me just as I saw him, and the facade he wore for the woman dropped slightly, revealing the evil glint in his eye. I wished she saw it as much as I wished I hadn’t seen it at that moment, wishing I could forget and never remember how terrifying it had been to be beneath him and forced to make eye contact with such evil.

I was no longer walking. I was running.

“Hey,” Ryker called after me as if he’d been calling to a friend. We weren’t friends. I wasn’t his friend. And I felt like I was going to die, barely able to retain air as my chest ached with lack of oxygen.

I flew to the escalators, hyperventilating at the sheer fear enveloping me.

“Faeryn,” he called, close on my tail, but he was walking. He sounded calm, like he knew that even if I ran, he would catch me.

I couldn’t tell if I was crying, but everything was blurry. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision, but it didn’t help. All I knew was that the escalators were close, but so was Ryker.

His new victim was hurrying to match his long strides on his way to me, and it made me sick—the metaphor of it. He was always one step ahead, playing mind games I could never figure out, leaving me multiple steps behind as I tried and failed to be enough for him. It would be the same for his new victim, and my elbow ached in sympathy for when Ryker would break hers.

At the escalators, I had no choice but to stop, multiple people were in line to use it. I turned, my hair sticking to my face as someone in front of me asked if I was all right.

I couldn’t get my tongue to work with my mouth, and it was ironic. I was having a verbal shutdown when I needed my words the most. It’s how it felt when I was with Ryker, even when I was verbal. Even when I could speak, I never was sure how to ask for help, always sure everyone would believe Ryker over me after the police officer took his side.

The man in front of me asked if I was okay again or if I needed a tissue, but I couldn’t look away from Ryker who wore a sick, satisfied smile disguised as a friendly one.

A pained gasp left me, and as the line moved up, the man in front of me offered me his spot. I took it without a response, doing so in such a hurry that I dropped my bag. I tried to reach for it, but the man who had been in front of me was now behind me, both of us on the escalator as my bag was left behind. Mr. Stuffins fell out, and as I reached for him, Ryker picked him up.

Slowly lifting his eyes from Mr. Stuffins to me, his lips curled with anger. It was concealed from everyone else, but not me. I knew what it looked like; I saw it every day for two years. To onlookers, maybe he looked happy. Helpful even, holding my bear and shaking it lightly in my direction. But shaking Mr. Stuffins was meant to taunt me, and the curl of his lips was anger, not happiness. And I was hyperventilating on an escalator, my fear of it traded for the fear of Ryker.

I stumbled off the escalator, hurrying toward the shop’s exit as I mourned my bag, Mr. Stuffins, and my wallet within it. But I couldn’t go back; I couldn’t risk it, even if it meant leaving my belongings behind. Leaving them in Ryker’s clutches.

Outside of the shop, I couldn’t see. I still couldn’t breathe. But I ran. I ran without breath, with a blurry vision, and a stammering chest because I would rather be in pain running from Ryker than to be caught by him and be in more pain then.

A stabbing pain shot through my waist at the exertion running provided, my chest stung from the minimal air it was receiving, my lungs burned, and my throat tightened with fear. I was spiraling as I ran, adrenaline the only thing keeping me moving.

My elbow hurt terribly from the force of running and the constant pull back to assist the movement, but I let it hurt because it was better than Ryker breaking it again.

It was a twenty-minute drive to the shops from home, but I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t risk taking the bus now, not when Ryker knew it was my only way of transportation. So I ran. I ran and ran and ran, never once looking back. It didn’t matter if he was following me, just as long as I was faster. Just as long as I arrived home before he caught me.

Breathless and terrified, I focused on things I could count, just like Jin told me. Just like the others reinforced. I counted passing trees, passing shops until everything disappeared to reveal long, winded roads. Familiar landmarks passed, only edging me on with each step that brought me closer to my destination, and when only the road lay ahead of me, I counted cars.

I didn’t know the exact time it took me to arrive in the familiar area of home, only a few minutes away now, but it must have been almost two hours. I couldn’t feel my body, much less my legs, numb and throbbing. I was sweating beneath my coat, my scarf was suffocating me, and my hair was stuck to my forehead, but still, I was freezing. I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but I figured it would make more sense later. Maybe when I had time to breathe again. At that moment, within those two hours, I couldn’t imagine how breathing had ever been easy.

I pivoted on my heel for a particularly sharp turn, and when home came into sight—the beautiful, large house that I called home—a sob escaped my battered throat, and I reached for it just as I reached for Mr. Stuffins, but home was in my reach while Mr. Stuffins was in Ryker’s.

My pace slowed as my body gave up on me, but with an anguished cry, I pushed on, forcing it to listen to me, moving limb after limb forcefully, furious that it would give up on me when I hadn’t given up on it. I kept it safe from Ryker, and now it would do the same for me. Together, my body and I worked together in a push and pull as we reached the home’s front door. My spare keys were in my strawberry bag, so I knocked repeatedly, the action hurting the cracked, red skin of my knuckles, regards of the cold weather.

Hoseok would be upset, I thought. That I hadn’t fended off the cold properly.

Just like I hadn’t been able to keep Mr. Stuffins safe, even when he’d helped me feel safe for so long.

I felt like I failed.

Crying in earnest, the tears burned my cold, red cheeks as I kept knocking, desperate for the warmth of home—and those within it that made it home.

I tried to use my words, but they had evaporated, still nowhere to be found. Furious, I knocked harder and harder until—

The door unlocked, opened, and—there Namjoon stood in loungewear, warm, comfortable, and looking down at me with knitted brows.

“Faeryn,” he began, but when he took note of my tears and shivering form, he left words behind and traded them for me.

Lifting me in his arms, he closed the door behind us, locking it as he tightened his arms around me in an attempt to stop my trembling.

He held the back of my head as I sobbed, clinging to him as best as I could, finding it harder to do when I couldn’t feel my body.

Kissing my head repeatedly, he kept me as close to him as possible, and I felt his confusion seep into my form.

“Faeryn,” he spoke, his voice soothing me. “Baby, whatever happened, we’ll figure it out. We’ll take care of it.”

I cried harder, shivering intensely enough that my body jolted and spasmed in his arms.

He clasped the back of my neck, applying firm pressure to stabilize me, and turning, he carried me to the stairs.

“Breathe,” he instructed, a light warning as I choked on my tears and fear. “In and out, just like me.”

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t breathe.

“Faeryn,” he warned, patting my back to ease the strain of the coughs that hacked their way out of my throat, leaving it raw and sore. “I need you to breathe. Can you focus on that for me? Can you do that?”

I couldn’t do it, and I couldn’t tell him that I couldn’t do it. I felt useless. Pathetic. And I cried harder, making myself sick.

What if Ryker was right outside, hiding somewhere within the trees? What if when Namjoon left me alone, Ryker would appear and take me away, never to be found again?

Delirious with fear, I screamed when Namjoon put me down in his bathroom, shifting onto my tip toes as I reached for him, sobbing as I tried to latch onto his shirt but failed, my fingers refusing to latch onto him without their usual feeling.

Namjoon’s eyes widened, and immediately, he cupped my face in his hands, his eyes traveling quickly to gauge my features, searching for the cause of my pain.

“What is it?” he pressed, keeping his voice steady, but it was wavering. I could hear it. “Are you in pain?”

Everywhere; I was in pain everywhere, and I’d lost Mr. Stuffins for a second time. Would Jin be upset with me? I couldn’t bear the thought, and horribly distraught, I was beside myself with tears, choking and gasping for air.

As soon as his hands touched my face and he felt how cold I was, he swore under his breath, leaning back to check on my hands. When he took note of the coldness they held, his features tightened, and he walked the few feet it took to reach his bathtub, lowering me slightly but not fully as he turned the water on.

“You need a bath,” he told me, his voice stern and leaving no room for question, but I could see the worry lining his forehead. The sheer concern his features held. “You need to get warm, so I’m going to undress you and put you in the water once the bath is filled up, do you understand?”

It meant being away from him, giving an opening for Ryker to get to me, and I wailed my protests incoherently, struggling to stay in his arms when he began to put me down once more. He tried to remove me from him amid my struggling, not using his full strength so he wouldn’t hurt me, but when this kept me to him and away from the warmth of the bath, he snapped, “That is enough.”

I froze at his tone, slightly horrified. Was he upset? Would he leave?

No, no, no. Namjoon wouldn’t leave; he said so, and he never lied. Namjoon wouldn’t leave, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do that to me because he promised; we did a test.

As I struggled with truth and the fear muddling it, he used it as an opportunity to put me down, and his fingers worked swiftly as he unbuttoned and unzipped my coat, pulling it off and starting on my sweaters next.

I tried and failed to grasp his sweatshirt again, wordlessly trying to convey my need for him to stay, and as my lips trembled fearfully, he seemed to understand.

“I’m not leaving,” he said firmly. “You’re going to take a bath, and I’m going to sit right here with you.” Cupping my face momentarily before returning to remove my pants, he reinstated, “I’m not leaving you, Faeryn.”

Relieved, I allowed him to undress me, and in the bath, I didn’t feel the water at first. It felt strange, almost burning as my body struggled to remember what it was to feel, then I felt it. I felt the water, and it reminded me of how Hoseok's makeup had felt on my face, then I recalled how Taehyung had said I was beautiful without makeup—how they all had said the same thing—and where I currently was.

Home. I was home.

Shuddering with relief, I toppled forward, but Namjoon was quick, grabbing my shoulders and keeping me upright. Using them to carefully pull me forward and position me against the walls of the tub, he gave me something to rest against, making me slump now that I no longer had to hold myself up. Now that I no longer had to run.

Now that I was home.

He continued holding my shoulders, allowing me to go completely slack as the water worked to warm my frozen body.

My eyelids were like lead and my limbs just the same, and I stared at the wall, wide-eyed and afraid as my back remained to Namjoon.

Was Ryker outside in the trees? Would I ever really escape him?

A shiver tore through me, and my tears joined the water surrounding me.

“Faeryn.” Namjoon’s voice was subdued. Concerned. And angry. “Are you able to sign?”

I couldn’t respond, not even with a shake of my head.

His next breath was rigid. “Can you nod and shake your head?”

I couldn’t.

His fingers pressed into my shoulders when my body once again began to topple forward.

“Faeryn.” He sounded pained. “I need you to talk to me.”

I wished I could. I was afraid I wasn’t strong enough to.

Hanging my head in defeat, I sobbed.

Not caring about the water, he wrapped his arms around the front of my body, angling his face to look into mine as he watched the steady fall of my tears. His features wound with concerned anger, he lifted one of his thumbs to catch a tear, preventing it from joining its friends in the water. I was afraid my tears would overflow the tub, but Namjoon didn’t seem to fear that. Instead, he seemed angry, something I wish I could be. Anger could motivate, but fear was debilitating, causing a significant freeze. It froze me. I wondered when I would unfreeze.

“Find a way,” Namjoon spoke slowly, his breath warming my face, “to communicate with me.”

I tried to use my eyes, flickering them back and forth consistently, but he didn’t understand. I wasn’t sure I did either.

I kept crying, and he kept holding me, even if the water soaked right through his sweatshirt. Even if my tears fell onto his thumbs on their way to the water. Even if I couldn’t speak. Even if Ryker was outside.

Namjoon didn’t leave me.

Then, when exhaustion finally won over my tears as the latter began to grudgingly slow, Namjoon’s voice re-entered the air, low and irate.

“Ryker,” he said. It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t speculation. He knew.

And my eyes darted to his to wordlessly confirm. To wonder if I was safe even if yes; it was Ryker.

His jaw clenched, and his eyes, alive and wild, blazed with a fury I had yet to see. His grip on me tightened to the point of pain, his hands shook from where they were placed on my shoulders, and thoughts devised themselves as his head ticked to the side.

Lifting his hands slowly, he inhaled sharply with great difficulty and covered my ears. Lifting his voice, he called for Jin. He didn’t stop, not until Jin arrived. Jungkook came bounding along with him, but the two of them halted as soon as they caught sight of me.

Jungkook’s lips parted, noticed my puffy eyes and tear-stained face, and glanced at Namjoon only to quickly realize the anger sketched into his features. He knew something was wrong, even if he didn’t know what. Jin had come to the same conclusion, and when he asked Namjoon what he needed, he didn’t tear his eyes from the quiver in mine.

“I need you to text the others,” Namjoon responded rigidly. “Tell them I need them to cancel whatever plans they had for today, and if they’re not here, they need to be.”

Jin studied Namjoon’s expression momentarily before his eyes returned to mine. “Jungkook, text the others to stay home or come home if they’re not already here.”

Jungkook remained, not ready to leave me.

“Jungkook,” Jin commanded tersely. “Now.”

Jungkook cast a fleeting, worried look in my direction before hurrying to retrieve his phone.

With the three of us remaining, Jin took a moment before telling me, “We’ll take care of him.”

He knew. Before I said anything. He knew.

My eyes welled with tears. A few fell, a few remained. I was very tired and very scared. But I was home, so at least I was safe.

At least I was safe.

Safe, safe, safe.

Maybe Jin wouldn’t be mad at me for losing Mr. Stuffins, after all. I hoped not. I wanted him to know that I would communicate if I could, but I wasn’t sure how to. I wanted him to be proud of me for thinking of communicating, but I couldn’t tell him that, either.

“Look at me if you have your phone with you,” Namjoon instructed me.

I didn’t look at him, knowing my phone was in my strawberry bag.

“Look at me if you don’t have your phone with you,” he amended.

I looked at him.

He nodded slowly, doing his best to remain calm. For me. “Look at Jin if Ryker has your phone.”

Exhaustion, I looked at Jin, watching his features tense at what my actions revealed.

A muscle in his neck ticked, and he struggled just like Namjoon did to remain calm. Eventually, he managed to ground out, “Look at Namjoon if Ryker hurt you.”

I didn’t look at Namjoon.

He released a short breath, and quickly, he realized. “He was at the shop you went to.” I kept looking at him, waiting for him to prompt me to confirm. “Look at Namjoon if that’s true, Faeryn, please.”

I did as he said, and they both tensed as anger flooded their features.

“He took your things,” Namjoon stated, adding, “Look at Jin if he did.”

I listened, trying to speak through my eyes that I was sorry for letting Mr. Stuffins be taken from me. I was the most sorry for that. When my tears fell, Jin seemed to understand, and pained, he spoke, “He has your bear.”

My tears fell faster. Sorry, Jin, so sorry.

The wrath in his eyes spoke the depths of his promise. “I’ll bring him back to you. Ryker,” he ground his name out, “won’t take anything else from you.”

Jungkook ran back into the bathroom, breathing heavily as he announced, “I texted everyone, and Hoseok and Jimin are coming back home.”

“Good,” Namjoon rasped. “I need you to text Jimin to send us the directions.”

Jungkook, confused, asked, “What directions?”

“He’ll know.”

Unsure, Jungkook pleaded, “Can I stay in here?”

“I need you to do this for me,” Namjoon denied him. “For her. Okay?”

Jungkook conceded easily at the mention of me, and with a quick nod, he hurried back out of the bathroom.

“I have the shop’s address,” Jin revealed, his tone gravelly. “We’ll check both locations.”

My mind struggled to keep up with the conversation, not sure what was going on, but eventually, I stopped trying, too exhausted, and felt myself float away. In a haze, Jin’s and Namjoon’s voices were far away, sounding muffled.

If they asked me questions, I wasn’t sure. But I wasn’t cold anyway. I wasn’t warm either. I was just sitting in a bathtub, floating away.

Like a duck, maybe. Like Jungkook called me.

There was something salty on my tongue; the only reminder that I was still crying. Any other sensations were lost to me.

A relief, maybe, or a curse. I wasn’t sure. Either way, I gave in to it, and since I couldn’t see through my blurry vision to count anything I saw, I counted my thoughts instead. There were many, mostly about Ryker.

I didn’t like the haze anymore, not with thoughts of Ryker breaching it, and I tore myself away, feeling the difficulty of doing so with every part of me. Crying and aching, I jolted in the bathtub, feeling the slosh of water surrounding me. Namjoon and Jin’s voices returned more clearly, I felt the tears on my face, and the bath water was turning cold.

With a sharp gasp that pained my throat, I blinked furiously, struggling against Namjoon’s grip as I felt it more strongly than before.

He was telling me to breathe, telling me to be careful so I wouldn’t hurt myself, but I needed to run. I needed to run? It felt like I needed to run.

No, but Ryker wasn’t here anymore. Ryker—he was at the shop. With his new victim. I was his old victim. I was safe—was I safe? I hoped I was safe. I wanted to be safe. But I was in a bathtub. Was a bathtub safe?

My tears stuttered, slipping away, and I paused, confusion causing their hesitation.

A bathtub with cold water. I love you, Faeryn.

Jin with me in his sheets. I love you.

Jungkook who wanted to stay to ensure I was okay. You’re loveable too, Faeryn.

I was—yes, I was home. It didn’t smell like Ryker at home, and Ryker couldn’t come in. He couldn’t—he wouldn’t. He would know how stupid that was, and it would ruin his facade, revealing the wickedness beneath that. Anything that would ruin his ego, he wouldn’t do, so he wouldn’t come inside. He wouldn’t.

I tried my best to take a deep breath.

He had my belongings, but he couldn’t get into my phone; it was locked. Jin said he would get Mr. Stuffins back, and he didn’t tell me he was mad. I’ll always communicate with you, Faeryn. If for any reason, I’m upset with you, I’ll tell you.

He didn’t tell me, so he wasn’t upset. Jin didn’t lie; my home never lied.

Home? I was…certain that I was home. Nearly certain.

Gathering any bit of muscle power that my tongue contained, I pushed it against the roof of my mouth, pushing out incoherent vowels and syllables as I tried to speak.

I needed to be certain, so when my words didn’t work, I lifted my shaking hand, brought it to my face, and used it to sign, “Home?”

Namjoon’s brows furrowed. “You’re home, Faeryn. We all are—or we will be.” He brought me to him, allowing my wet head of hair and cheek to rest on his shoulder. “You’re safe.”

Safe, safe, safe.

I was certain that I was home. Now I was.

꧁꧂

“That’s it,” Namjoon murmured, carefully placing me onto his bed after he dressed me in warm clothes. “Nice and slow.”

The softness of his tone and actions was a stark contrast to the blatant anger in his features, yet somehow, it soothed me. It let me know I was safe; that he would do anything to keep me that way.

Bringing the blankets over my chest, he tucked them around my body as he gently adjusted me against his headboard, taking the cup of tea from Jimin to hand it to me. It was chamomile, made to soothe and relax, and I drank the warm liquid greedily, gulping down the comfort as if it were oxygen itself.

I remembered to sign my thanks to Jimin once I’d inhaled the tea.

He didn’t respond, his jacket halfway to sliding off his shoulder as his gaze, hard and calculated, locked in on Namjoon. They communicated wordlessly before the former’s attention shifted to Jin who had taken the seat on the bed beside me, tugging my body into his form to create a sense of warmth, comfort, and security.

Jin understood the wordless communication, saying curtly in response, “I want Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook with her. The rest of us will go.”

I didn’t ask what he meant; I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be held. Curling closer to him, I buried my face in his arm as I remembered how it felt to take deep breaths.

Taking my finished cup of tea from me, he set it on the bedside table before cradling my body to him with firm, reassuring caresses to my side.

“We’ll go now,” Jimin decided, frustrated. “We’re wasting time.”

“We’re being smart,” Hoseok negated sharply.

Jimin’s hard stare shifted to him. “Being smart doesn’t include wasting time.”

“Jimin,” Jin instructed, cutting off any possible arguing from the rising tension. “You’re with me. Namjoon.”

Namjoon nodded stiffly, clasping his car keys in hand as he shared a glance with Hoseok, both of them understanding Jin without him having to finish his sentence.

With everyone in sync, Jin took a deep, strained breath and looked down at me. Brushing my hair from my face, he pressed a kiss to my temple, firm and protective.

“I will be back,” he said into our shared space, looking into each of my eyes to gauge where I was at. “We all will, but while we’re gone, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jungkook will be here with you to keep you safe. Yes?”

I didn’t want him or the others to go, but a part of me knew he had to, even if I wasn’t fully comprehending why because of the state I was in.

I showed a small nod, and with a final kiss from him, he left the bed. I reached for him instinctively, missing him immediately, but Taehyung took his place, pulling me to him and letting his warmth invade me.

I curled into him as I’d done to Jin, looking over at the latter as he pulled his jacket on.

“We’ll be back,” he told me once more, waiting for me to nod before turning his attention to the others. “Let’s go.”

Jungkook quickly availed himself of the spot beside me, and he and Taehyung kept me between them as Yoongi sat at the end of the bed.

The others left, and I missed their presence intensely, wanting every part of my home to be with me.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook whispered worriedly to my arriving tears. “They’ll be back. Right, hyungs?”

“Right,” Taehyung confirmed firmly, reassuringly squeezing my arm.

“They will,” Yoongi agreed. “They will be back.”

A small, confused sound left me as I signed, “Where?”

Taehyung’s features tensed, showing the same anger everyone else had. “To get your things back.”

Notes:

pretty heavy chapter! We'll be seeing the next chapter through a third-person POV, specifically Jin, Namjoon, Jimin, and Hoseok. Buckle up! Avenging Faeryn is right around the corner 🩷

hope you're all doing okay! Your comments always make me smile, and they're so nice to read when I have a bad day and otherwise. Thank you so much to everyone who comments and for being so kind. I'm so glad this little fic helped me meet such great people <33

Chapter 37: Meeting Ryker

Summary:

Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jimin meet Ryker—and his new victim.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Namjoon wasn’t sure he’d ever been this angry.

The only time he recalled feeling anger this intensely was when Jungkook’s previous management abused him—insulted him, stole his medication, belittled him, lied to him, and made him fear his own shadow.

Yes, Namjoon was sure that was the only time he’d felt anger like that then, simmering with it while Hoseok drove them to retrieve Faeryn’s belongings.

Every part of him wanted to hurt Ryker beyond recognition until he was afraid to breathe, speak, and live like he had made Faeryn live in fear. It was only fair, he concurred, to hurt Ryker how he had hurt Faeryn—the woman he had come to care for and love more than he could properly fathom.

There was Jungkook, and there was Faeryn. They were beyond special to him, and he had barely reeled himself in from beating two of Jungkook’s managers to a bloody pulp, only put to a stop by Jaehyun for the sake of a possible legal battle. Even then, it took Jaehyun, security, and Namjoon’s management to pull him off.

Today, Jaehyun, security, and Namjoon’s management weren’t there. No one, not even Hoseok, could pull him off of Ryker if they tried. The only thing stopping him was Faeryn, remembering her pleas in the past to stray from calling the police or any legal action. For her, he would stop. For her, he would do anything.

However, legal action might’ve been needed. She hadn’t been able to communicate what exactly had happened, but from what he could garner, Ryker hadn’t hurt her. He had taken her things, a criminal offense, but who was keeping count of his crimes? Ryker certainly wasn’t, but Namjoon was. Namjoon had been keeping count since Faeryn had marginally opened up about it, making a tally of everything he would hurt Ryker for, but Namjoon was the bigger man, both in stature, mentally, and emotionally. If Faeryn said to refrain from legal action, he would refrain.

A few punches would be fine. Kicks, perhaps. It would depend on how he felt if his idea of a few turned into a multitude. He would hurt Ryker in an area no one would see, so when he went to the police if he dared, there would be no proof, just his word. He would be dismissed, what with Namjoon’s expensive legal team, and it wouldn’t go to court. He would be dismissed just like he dismissed Faeryn’s well-being for two years, and Namjoon thought that was a poetic sense of justice well suited for Ryker.

“We’re here,” Hoseok broke Namjoon out of his thoughts, the former having clear difficulty reigning back his anger, too. Glancing at his phone to confirm, he supplemented, “These are the directions Jimin texted.”

Namjoon looked up at the apartment building settled above a small cafe; Faeryn’s old apartment.

Hoseok’s fingers tensed around the wheel before he parked, settling the car into a spot before turning the car off.

He and Namjoon exchanged a glance.

Hoseok was experiencing inner turmoil of his own right, contemplating how to effectively ruin Ryker’s life without causing him any physical injury, knowing it could lead to legal action Faeryn didn’t want. Figure out where he worked, get him fired, keep any workplace from hiring him, and put him on the streets he made Faeryn spend nights on.

He would ruin him, and Ryker wouldn’t even know who did it.

Hoseok exhaled shortly. “This is where she lived.”

“With him,” Namjoon concluded stiffly.

“We’ll ruin him,” Hoseok said calmly.

Namjoon looked at him. “How do you plan on doing that?”

“We have power.”

Namjoon dipped his chin. “We do.”

“We’ll keep him from being hired after we get him fired from his current workplace,” Hoseok revealed. “Put him on the streets he made Faeryn stay on.”

Namjoon’s eyes flashed, and immediately, he reached for the door, but Hoseok stopped him, warning, “Don’t do anything that will negatively affect her.”

Grounding himself back in with great difficulty, Namjoon took several strained breaths. “You didn’t see her today.”

“I saw her at home before we left.”

“No.” Namjoon’s features tightened at the corners. “When she knocked on the door, red in the face and freezing. Even if she took the bus, it cuts off ten minutes away from home, meaning she walked the entire way—over an hour and a half—in fear of Ryker and in the cold. Alone. Because of him.”

He shook his head rigidly. “She was terrified. I tried to put her down to start the bath, and she screamed—she screamed because she thought I was leaving her.”

Hoseok’s chest ached with pain, and his forehead creased as he struggled not to let anger cloud his judgment. Namjoon was angry enough for the both of them; he needed to remain calm to keep things from escalating more than they already had.

“One step at a time,” Hoseok resumed momentarily. “We’ll get her things and go from there.”

“And if he doesn’t give them up?”

Hoseok opened his car door, his tone falling flat as he responded, “We’ll take them.”

Namjoon grunted, joining Hoseok outside of the car and locking the doors. The two of them rounded the car and stared up at the apartment. Snow swirled around them, the first snow of the season, and they looked at each other.

With a deep breath from both men, they walked forward.

꧁꧂

 

Jimin experienced trouble breathing ever since he saw the state Faeryn was in, and in the shop she’d been in only hours before, he felt worse. Angrier. Like making Ryker regret everything he’d done to her until all he could feel was regret, pain, and despair.

Jin walked beside him, and they were quiet as tension filled the air.

“She wouldn’t have gone upstairs,” Jimin spoke, annoyance lacing his tone when Jin approached the escalators. “She doesn’t like escalators.”

Jin didn’t bother glancing at him as he stepped slightly beside the escalator, lowering himself slightly to retrieve something. Lifting it, he considered the object and raised brow in Jimin’s direction.

Jimin stepped forward, his brows drawing together when he realized what Jin held; one of Faeryn’s bunny charms usually attached to her phone. His features clouded, and his eyes met Jin’s.

“She said she wanted to be brave today,” Jin revealed in low tones, mirroring the anger Jimin felt. “She might have gone upstairs.”

Upstairs, they looked around for signs of her belongings, but they came up empty. Eventually, Jin decided, “Reception.”

“Hello,” Jimin greeted the receptionist, struggling to push out a pleasant smile despite the anger threatening to consume him. “I’m looking for my girlfriend’s bag. She was here about three hours ago, and we think she left it upstairs. Maybe near the escalators? I’m not sure.”

The receptionist nodded slowly. “What did her bag look like?”

“She crocheted it,” Jin responded curtly. “It’s covered in crocheted strawberries, contains her phone in a pink phone case, and a bear from Jellycat.”

The receptionist paused. “Ohhh, okay, I think I know what you’re talking about.”

Jimin’s brows raised slowly. “Really.”

“I think so,” the receptionist confirmed. “There was a woman here about three hours ago like you said, and she was…I don’t know, hyperventilating at the top of the escalators, and she dropped her things and ran out.” She shrugged, looking uncomfortable at the intent, hard gazes from Jimin and Jin as they assessed. “A guy tried to give her things back to her, but she ran out of the shop before he could.”

Jin clenched his jaw. “Did he go after her?”

“Uh…he left the shop after her, but he was with someone else, so I’m not sure if they followed her.”

“And he has her things?” Jimin pressed.

“Yeah, he does,” the receptionist confirmed.

Jin pushed away from the desk, shaking his head tersely as he locked eyes with Jimin. The latter understood, and with the last bit of niceties he had in him during that moment, he thanked the lady and left with Jin right beside him.

They knew their next destination.

Faeryn’s old apartment.

꧁꧂

 

Namjoon lowered his fist after knocking on the apartment door, balling his fingers into his palm as he waited with anger-creased features for Ryker.

Hoseok had just relayed the text Jimin sent that he and Jin were on their way, confirming Ryker had Faeryn’s belongings.

Namjoon, not one for offering patience to abusers, knocked again, his knuckles rapping harshly against the door.

Footsteps approached, and instead of the person who met the description for Ryker that Jimin had provided, a woman around Faeryn’s age opened the door, her orange hair sweeping over her bronze eyes as she looked at Namjoon and Hoseok in curious confusion.

“Hi,” she greeted with one hand in her cardigan pocket. “Are you friends with Ryker? He didn’t say his friends were coming over.” She assessed with a crisp smile. “I’m his girlfriend, Kenley.”

She seemed sweet, and as Namjoon looked down at her, something in him shifted, giving his anger space for recognition. Something in Kenley was eerily familiar, but he couldn’t place it. Taking a deep breath, he stepped back.

“Hello,” he greeted in return. “I’m Namjoon, and this is my friend, Hoseok. We’re here to speak with Ryker.” He looked past Kenley’s head inside. “Is he here?”

“He’s inside.” She held the door open wider. “I’m making him a sandwich. Do you both want one? I’m pretty good at making sandwiches, but Ryker says I have to get better at it. I need practice; that’s all.”

Namjoon tensed, not enjoying what her words implied, and the tension in him only heightened when a male’s voice called, “Is that Faeryn? The person I told you about?”

“Oh, uh…no,” Kenley responded, her eyes shifting toward his voice. “It’s your friends, not Faeryn.”

“My friends?” Ryker laughed a bit. “Are you opening the door for strangers, Kenley? Is that smart?”

Kenley flushed. “They knew your name, so I figured—”

“Ken.” His voice approached. “We’ve talked about this before, how your Autism can make you a bit stupid.”

Kenley’s blush grew painful, and she no longer looked at Namjoon and Hoseok, not able to see the irate expressions they now adorned.

“I’m sorry,” she responded rigidly. “They said your name, so—”

“So you believed they were my friends.” Ryker tsked. “You’re too gullible for your own good, Ken, but that’s why I’m here, huh? To make sure you don’t get hurt.”

Much to Namjoon’s chagrin, Kenley looked grateful, as if Ryker wasn’t humiliating her.

Now, Namjoon knew why there was a sort of familiarity about her. She had similar characteristics to Faeryn. The slight tone difference—almost monotone—the constant flick of her fingers against each other, the lack of eye contact, and her anxious shuffle. It would never be a one-size fits all, but the similarities were there.

He’d known she was Autistic without realizing it, and if he had realized it at their first meeting, Ryker had, too. While Ryker had used it to trap her in an abusive relationship, Namjoon hadn’t done anything with it, but now he wanted to. He saw Faeryn when he looked at her, saw Kenley losing the light in her eyes after a few months with Ryker, turning timid and scared like Faeryn had been when Namjoon met her, and he couldn’t take it. Ryker didn’t deserve to steal anyone else’s light because he had allowed his darkness to consume him.

Ryker appeared—all 5’6 of him—at the doorway. Tugging Kenley back by her elbow, he was rougher than Namjoon was okay with, and Hoseok stepped forward instinctively, wordlessly conveying he felt the same.

Ryker clocked the movement, his eyes narrowing into slits as he took in the two tall, muscular men before him. His features neutralized quickly, and he pushed out a friendly smile Namjoon and Hoseok saw right through.

“Are you new neighbors?” Ryker asked, his cheery tone sounding anything but to those who knew better. Namjoon and Hoseok knew better, watching him with intense focus. “I haven’t seen you around here before.”

He knew who they were, Hoseok immediately knew. The way his eyes flickered with recognition as much as he tried to hide it relayed his knowledge, and whether or not he had put together why they were there, Hoseok had a feeling he would.

Either way, Hoseok and Namjoon were there for a reason, and they would follow through with the promise to return Faeryn’s belongings to her. They wouldn’t let Ryker take any more from her than he already had.

With this in mind, Hoseok stepped up, coolly stating, “I wasn’t aware you could live in an apartment on someone else’s lease. How do you pay your rent?”

Kenley’s eyes narrowed with surprise. “Ryker, if you don’t know them, how do they know the lease is under my name?”

Namjoon released a dry laugh, disbelief lacing the sound. “You switched the lease over from Faeryn to Kenley?”

Namjoon took a step forward, but Hoseok put a hand on his chest, keeping him still.

Eerily calm, Hoseok spoke. “We’re here because you have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

Kenley, still staring at the interaction with narrowed eyes, declared, “They’re talking about Faeryn’s bag.”

Ryker tugged her further inside, and when he began to close the door and leave her inside, Hoseok stepped forward and stopped the door from closing.

“After we talk with you,” Hoseok said, his face dipped inches from Ryker’s, “we’re going to talk with Kenley.” His attention shifted to Kenley, and his voice softened the slightest bit. “Would that be okay with you?”

She looked at Ryker for approval.

“I asked if it was okay with you,” Hoseok reiterated. “You don’t need his permission.”

Her thumb traced the side of her right finger, and she remained quiet.

“It’s your life,” Hoseok pressed gently. “You’re in charge.”

She blinked a few times before carefully looking from Ryker to Hoseok. She nodded slowly and spoke with the same speed, “I am in charge, so yes, I will talk with you.”

“Good,” Hoseok praised, keeping his tone light to prevent a possible anxiety spike within her. “Can you come stand outside with my friend Namjoon and me?”

“She’s fine inside,” Ryker dismissed Hoseok’s offer.

Hoseok’s steel gaze was on him in seconds. “If I speak to you, I will look at you. Was I looking at you?”

Ryker stiffened, issuing a short laugh. “No need for the hostility. Kenley, I don’t think you want to go with people who clearly don’t have any manners.”

Kenley shrunk a bit, but before Ryker’s words could diminish the small progress Hoseok made, Namjoon pulled Faeryn’s bunny phone charm from his pocket; the one she had clutched in her hand so tightly that he had to pry it away to bathe her. It caught Kenley’s attention immediately, and once it had, Namjoon revealed, “This belongs to Faeryn, but I don’t think she would mind if you take a look.”

It was his last resort; he wasn’t sure if it would hit its mark, but he let his offer stand, awaiting her acceptance.

Kenley tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, and her eyes slowly lost their narrowness. “Did you know that bunnies they can’t vomit?” She winced once the words left her. “Sorry,” she amended. “I’m trying to stop sharing special interest facts unless people ask to know more. Ryker says it’s a bad habit.”

“I don’t mind,” was Namjoon’s smooth response. “When we talk later, you can tell us some more facts if you would like.”

She nodded curtly, pleased, and side-stepped Ryker at the door, taking her spot next to Namjoon and gracefully accepting the charm.

“I’ll hold it for Faeryn,” she told Ryker matter-of-factly. “That’s it. I didn’t say I liked her or anything.”

Namjoon, having a hard time keeping his anger back for this long, ground out, “What lies have you been spreading about Faeryn, Ryker?”

Ryker leaned against his door frame, a tactic to relay comfort he didn’t feel. “I could ask Faeryn the same thing.”

“You could,” Hoseok confirmed drily. “But only one of you would be lying.”

Ryker waved his hand around, dismissing Hoseok’s words. “Why are you here? Did Faeryn send you both to do your dirty work? I don’t know what she told you, but I know her well enough to know she lies for her gain, so tell me. What did she send you here for?”

“Her bag,” Kenley responded for Namjoon and Hoseok. “We have her bag.”

Ryker’s annoyance flickered through before he pulled it back and pushed a smile her way. “Of course. How could I forget? You can be smart sometimes, helping me out like that.”

The backhanded compliment confused Kenley, it was obvious, and when Ryker saw that, he added, “Thank you, baby. I love you.”

His words hit their mark, and Kenley’s confusion was replaced with reassurance. “I love you too,” she responded gratefully.

It made Hoseok and Namjoon sick, both pained to envision Faeryn not even a year ago in Kenley’s spot.

“Enough,” Namjoon snapped, startling Kenley. “The game is over, and we’re here for her belongings. We know what was in the bag, and we want it back in one piece. If not, we have proof that you lived here illegally, kicked Faeryn out even when her name was on the lease, what you did to her, threatening texts you sent her, and more. So, if you don’t mind, open the fucking door and let me into the apartment still not on your lease, so I can get Faeryn’s things.”

Ryker tried to play it off with a disbelieving laugh, pointing at Namjoon and looking at Kenley like, can you believe this guy?

Namjoon’s features twisted into a scowl, and a good five inches taller than Ryker, he loomed over him, snarling, “Open. The. Door.”

“You’re breaking and entering into my apartment” Ryker fought back.

“How am I breaking and entering into your apartment,” Namjoon spoke through his teeth, “when your name isn’t on the lease?”

“Just let him get Faeryn’s bag,” Kenley said quickly. “So they can go. I don’t want any trouble.”

“Stay out of it,” Ryker seethed, a hint of his anger showing. “You don’t understand what’s going on because of your Autism; don’t start with me. Not now.”

“Don’t infantilize her,” Hoseok snapped, both him and Namjoon now crowding his space. “What you’ve done to Faeryn is sick, but now you’re what—targeting Autistic people because you believe they’re easier targets?” Hoseok pushed him, startling him enough to send him back a few steps. “Is this fun to you? Making people believe you love them just to make them second guess themselves and wonder what they did wrong to deserve the hell you put them through?”

He pushed Ryker again, this time causing the latter to open the slightly ajar door with the force of his body.

“Abuse isn’t fun,” Hoseok continued, anger prominent in every step he took and words he spoke, “It isn’t a game, and it will always catch up to the perpetrator which in this case”—he put a hand to Ryker’s chest, gripping his shirt and tugging him forward—“is you.” Shoving him back for the final time, he bypassed him to enter the apartment.

Namjoon remained near the door, keeping Ryker from exiting the door frame. When Ryker tried, Namjoon shoved him forcefully, lifting a single brow when Ryker made a move to try again. The simple action put Ryker to a halt, and he struggled internally, wondering if he should keep up the act that wasn’t doing him any favors or remain still and accept his defeat.

He looked to Kenley, his current victim, and chose another tactic. “Just stay there, Ken,” he advised, pushing his voice to sound worried. “They won’t hurt you if you stay still and be quiet.”

Namjoon’s lip curled with anger and disgust. “We won’t hurt her either way. You, on the other hand, would be exceptionally satisfying to hurt after what you’ve done to Faeryn and what you’re trying to do with Kenley.”

Inside the apartment, Hoseok located Faeryn’s bag, but looking through it, he quickly realized that her phone was missing. Gathering everything else, including her beloved Mr. Stuffins, he treated him with tender care as he placed him in her bag, ensuring there was no damage done to him.

Outside, Kenley shifted, confused and anxious as she gripped Faeryn’s charm. Instead of asking Ryker if he was okay or being afraid of Namjoon and Hoseok, she asked, “What did he do to Faeryn?”

Namjoon turned slightly, still able to keep Ryker in his view even as he made eye contact with Kenley.

When he didn’t respond at first, Kenley explained, “I meant to say, ‘What did Ryker do to Faeryn’? I’m sorry if I confused you by not saying his name. Sometimes, I think people know what I’m talking about because I would know what they’re talking about if specific phrasing is used but…” She trailed off. “Yes.”

“I knew what you meant,” Namjoon responded. “There’s no need to apologize.”

“Right.” She looked at his forehead instead of his eyes. “Thanks, I guess.” She hesitated before adding, “Pretend I didn’t say, ‘I guess’. I say it when I’m nervous, but I’m not trying to appear nonchalant. My dad used to say it, so now I say it, and it’s really hard to stop because of—”

“Echolalia,” Namjoon concluded, his tone losing a hint of its edge at the remembrance of Faeryn.

Surprised, Kenley nodded. “How did you know?”

“Faeryn,” he revealed, still keeping part of his attention on Ryker as Hoseok approached the front door. “She has her favorite phrases to repeat plus more that come along.”

Kenley paused. “She’s actually Autistic?”

Namjoon squinted. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

“Ryker said…” She trailed off, and Namjoon turned to view Ryker’s hard glare.

Namjoon squared him with a singular, harsh look. “Look at her like that again. Go ahead; try.”

Ryker’s expression disappeared as quickly as it came, and to defend the image he had spent time curating to capture Kenley in his trap, he insisted, “She needs to be careful speaking with you. Faeryn has obviously lied to you and made you believe I’m the villain here, but—”

“Shut up,” Namjoon seethed.

Ryker bared his teeth at him but remained silent.

Kenley spoke quickly, as if she was afraid she wouldn’t have the chance to again. “He claimed Faeryn faked having Autism as an excuse to be lazy and jobless.”

Namjoon loosed a laugh, harsh and humorless. “Did he?” He turned to Ryker. “Did you?”

“It’s the truth,” Ryker snarled.

“Her official diagnosis calls your bluff.”

Kenley blinked. “She’s diagnosed?”

Namjoon responded drily, “Has been since she was a child.”

“She’s lying to you,” Ryker argued.

“The only person lying here is you,” Namjoon negated with a rough pat on his cheek. “Why don’t you go inside and make yourself your own goddamn sandwich?”

Pushing him inside once Hoseok reappeared, the latter’s eyes flitted to Kenley, a signal to Namjoon before he closed the apartment door behind him and Ryker.

Slowly, Namjoon turned to look at Kenley, struggling to tune his anger out and focus on her future safety. Abuse was horrific and angered him more than anything could, and with the knowledge that Faeryn was safe and her bag was with Hoseok, he put his attention on Kenley, the person in current danger.

“I’m sorry for the interruption to your day.” Taking a deep breath, he gestured toward Faeryn’s bunny charm, finding it difficult to reign himself in. A few more deep breaths, and he resumed. “How is it?”

Kenley looked down at it. “Fine.”

“Good.” Namjoon dipped his chin. “So, Rabbits can’t vomit.”

“It’s true,” Kenley agreed, watching him carefully with unrelenting eye contact. “Digestive issues can be very painful and dangerous because of it, so you must watch out for bloating. It’s a bad sign.”

“If I’m ever around a bunny, I’ll be sure to take note of that.”

“Give them a fiber-rich diet. Also, take them to the vet regularly.”

“If I ever have a bunny, I will be sure to do that.”

“All right, I guess.” She cringed. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He took a slow step forward, gauging her reaction. “Can I ask you a few questions about Ryker? I’ll be quick; I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Uh…yeah, you can ask me questions.” She pursed her lips, reconsidered, and returned to her previous conclusion. “It’s fine.”

“All right.” He gave her a moment to change her mind before prompting, “Do you feel safe with him?”

“Safe?” She clutched the charm, turning her fingers a harsh white. “I don’t know. There hasn’t been anything he needs to protect me from.”

He changed his wording. “Do you feel safe that he won’t hurt you or say something that hurts your feelings?”

“He won’t hurt me,” she said, but Namjoon heard the inkling of uncertainty in her tone. “And…if my feelings get hurt, he says I took what he said the wrong way. That I can’t understand because I’m Autistic and I don’t get sarcasm.”

“Do you believe that?”

“I can tell sarcasm most times,” she defended herself hotly. “I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were.” He gave her a second. “Ryker, however, did.”

“He was joking.”

“Was he?”

She was quiet.

“Don’t ignore your gut,” Namjoon said, gentler than before. “It’s not lying to you.”

“You’re…saying Ryker’s lying to me.”

“I am.”

She shook her head slowly. “Why would he lie?”

“To keep you here to pay rent. To boost his ego. To make him sandwiches.”

She traced the bunny charm. “I saw her today for the first time, Faeryn, and she didn’t seem like…I don’t know. Like the villain Ryker said she was. She just seemed scared, and I don’t think she would fake that and leave all of her things. It doesn’t make sense, but Ryker said she was being performative and that she would come back for it, and then you came here for it, so I thought he must be right, but I’m…not sure now.”

“In this case, not being certain can save you from the pain he will cause you,” Namjoon said seriously. “Maybe not now, not when he’s still trying to lure you into the lies he’s spinning, but it will happen later when you’re too far gone to keep questioning like you are now. Questioning is good; questioning is a sign you’re noticing things are off.” He inhaled sharply. “Do you have friends? Family?”

“Mom and Dad, siblings, and friends. I’m not alone, and I can make friends. I’m not socially inept or something.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“I read your intent wrong, I guess.” She deflated. “Ryker says I do that a lot, which is why I think he’s right about me misinterpreting the jokes he makes.”

“You can misinterpret jokes sometimes,” Namjoon confirmed. “But if the joke’s punchline is always you, there’s no misinterpretation in that. It’s just cruelty.” He studied her. “Are you usually the punchline?”

She struggled within herself before nodding.

“Why don’t you talk to your friends and family about this?” Namjoon asked carefully. “Are they supportive?”

“Yes.”

“Talk to them, then.”

She looked right into his eyes. “Why do you care? You don’t even know me.”

“I know Faeryn, and I detest abuse and its effects.” He shook his head. “I’ve seen what it can do, and if I can stop it from continuing here, even if it’s not yet at full force, I’ll try, so I am.”

“Well, I don’t like abuse either, so…yeah.” She shifted awkwardly. “Sorry, I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.” He glanced at the front door. “Communicate with your family and friends; don’t let him isolate you.”

“This is weird,” she admitted. “I don’t know you.”

“I don’t know you either, Kenley, but sometimes, we help people because it’s the right thing to do. And,” he added softly. “They remind us of the people we love.”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she held the bunny charm out to him. “You should give this back to her. To Faeryn.”

“Thank you.” He stepped forward to take it. “I will.”

She blinked slowly, calculating. “Is she okay? She was…scared”

“She will be,” he responded firmly. He lifted the charm slightly. “This will help; having her things back will.”

“She has Bartholomew.”

Relieved he found an opening, he lifted a brow. “Excuse you.”

She stared at him. “What?”

“His name was changed, I’ll have you know.”

“Changed to what?”

“Mr. Stuffins.” He clicked his tongue, ensuring his expression matched the playfulness in his tone. “The name change is very important to his character of a 50-year-old man.”

Her features eased until, finally, a laugh left her. “Okay, sorry. She has Mr. Stuffins.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, relieved when it evoked a gradual smile from her. He hoped the slight comfort would ease whatever harsh words Ryker told her—and help her stray from him before she was completely trapped. “Much better.”

Hoseok opened the front door just as Jin’s car pulled up, Faeryn’s phone in hand and her bag over his shoulder. It was easy to pry its whereabouts from Ryker; he was weak when intimidated by a man of taller, stronger stature who set him with a harsh look and firm wording. He gave up its location promptly, biting back a scowl as he did.

Hoseok dipped his chin to Namjoon’s questioning look, responding, “We have everything.”

“All right.” Namjoon nodded to him, then to Kenley. “Do you want to stay here with him? I know the bus comes nearby, but if you need a ride to your family’s house or a friend’s house, you can ride with us.”

“I don’t know you,” she accused again.

“I know.”

She glanced at the door where Ryker was slightly behind it. “I…”

“Take your time,” Hoseok cut in, his tone smooth and soothing. “You can’t rush what you’re not ready to leave.”

“I…I’ll visit my family,” she concluded. “But I can take the bus. I’m fine.”

“All right.” Hoseok nodded once. Twice. “Do you want us to wait until it arrives?”

She hesitated, and for the first time that night, she looked genuinely afraid. “You’re making it seem like I’m not safe with him.”

“We don’t mean to scare you,” Hoseok soothed her, his tone still containing the gravity of the situation. “But you aren’t safe with him. Maybe you are today, but soon, he’ll change, and you won’t be safe. I don’t want you to be around for when that happens, Kenley, so do you want us to wait for the bus to come?”

“You’re sick!” Ryker yelled, bursting through the door. “Leave her out of this! She’s mine, do you fucking hear me, you pieces of shit?! Now get the fuck off my property!”

“It isn’t yours,” Namjoon hissed through his teeth, shoving Ryker back when he rapidly approached. “It’s hers, and before that, it was Faeryn’s. You need to leave their property.”

With a shout, Ryker lunged at Namjoon, swinging his fists in pure rage and humiliation, his ego suffering more than it could handle.

Namjoon was quick—if not relieved for a reason—to punch Ryker across the face. Self-defense had never tasted so sweet.

Ryker stumbled back from the blow of Namjoon’s fist, blinking rapidly before swinging blindly, earning another punch from Namjoon.

Namjoon, although enjoying how it felt for his knuckles to break the skin on Ryker’s face, reeled himself back in for Faeryn and an already frightened Kenley.

Shaking out his fist, he lifted a brow when Ryker made a move as if to swing again. Ryker hesitated, glaring, and resorted to yelling profanities at him, sneaking in jabs at Faeryn in the process.

“Namjoon,” Jin called his warning from outside the cafe, looking up as he speedily approached with Jimin.

“I know,” Namjoon drawled, his eyes flashing when Ryker tried to attack when he assumed Namjoon’s attention was caught. This time, Namjoon hit him square in the jaw, pushing him back with enough force for him to fall on his ass. “See?” Namjoon pivoted slightly to lift both brows in Jin’s direction. “Gentle.”

Kenley gasped, taking multiple steps back. “This is—oh my—this is insane.”

“Call your parents or someone who can come pick you up,” Hoseok instructed her. When she remained there, looking frozen, he ordered, “Go.”

She hurried down the outdoor stairs, clinging to the banister as she flew into the cafe with her phone to her ear.

Jin and Jimin arrived at the top of the stairs, both of their features stiff with the anger Ryker evoked.

“Stay down,” Jin warned Ryker when he tried to get up.

“You’re sick,” Ryker hacked out a cough, still mustering up a glare. “All of you.”

“Projecting,” Jimin said flatly. “Very nice.”

“Shut up,” Ryker spat out. “All of you. Pieces of shit, thinking you know me. Well, you don’t know me; none of you do! Faeryn is an attention-seeking whore and—”

“Watch your mouth.” Jin’s voice rose, effectively silencing Ryker’s. “You aren’t permitted to speak of her, to her, or about her. You’re already going to regret what happens, but if you do anything I advise you don’t, it will be worse for you.”

Ryker hesitated as his anger spiked. “Are you threatening me?”

“Oh, enough,” Jimin dismissed him, angered and revolted. “You would know if we were threatening you.”

Ryker stared at them before hastening to his feet. “Threatening people is a crime.”

“So you were aware of committing a crime when you threatened Faeryn?” Jimin’s features flat-lined. “Ironic how it isn’t a crime when you do it.”

“I never threatened her,” Ryker lied heatedly.

“The proof says otherwise,” Hoseok countered coolly.

“What the fuck do you care?” Ryker snapped. “She’s a leech, and if she doesn’t annoy you yet, she fucking will.”

“Careful,” Hoseok drawled, his expression and words flat. “If you speak too much, people will realize everything you say is about yourself.”

Ryker took a step forward, and Namjoon blocked him with a dark laugh, warning, “Try.”

Ryker didn’t try, wiping where blood had accumulated in his nose due to Namjoon’s fist.

“Kenley’s mine,” Ryker spat out. “She won’t believe you.”

“Kenley will decide whether she wants to believe you or not,” Namjoon refuted, pissed. “But keep talking out of your ass. Go ahead. It’s all you’re good for.”

When Ryker swung next, Jin counter-attacked swiftly, pushing him off his feet, into his apartment, and leaving the door slightly ajar. The three men took the hint and joined, locking the door behind them. The door didn’t do much for blocking sound. Ryker’s anguished grunts, his pained groans and curses, and Jin’s fist making contact with skin repeatedly could be heard.

Jin was calm as he made Ryker howl with pain, expertly inflicting wounds he knew would cause the most pain but would remain unseen. Momentarily, he shoved Ryker forward, making him stumble into Jimin. The latter laughed drily, pleased.

“Ryker,” he drawled in almost a sing-song voice, paired with dark eyes and a humorless expression. “The nightmares Faeryn has, the screams you evoke from her within them, and once when she was outside of them?” He dipped his mouth to Ryker’s ear, making him gag when he choked him. “I’m going to make you scream, and you’re going to beg for mercy like Faeryn begged you, but just like you denied her human decency, I’ll deny you any.”

Already weakened from Jin’s merciless blows, Ryker couldn’t escape Jimin’s hold, choking as Jimin’s arm tightened around his throat. This didn’t evoke screams, so only marginally satisfied, Jimin tossed Ryker to Namjoon, cocked his head side-to-side, and landed a kick on Ryker’s knee. Their victim buckled with pain and several screams, and Jimin earned more with a kick to the back of Ryker’s other knee, earning a satisfied twist of his lips.

Ryker’s screams negated Faeryn’s, and Jimin felt alive knowing he caused the sounds. The pain. The retribution against a pathetic man who hurt a woman Jimin was deeply in love.

But Hoseok hadn’t had his turn yet.

Hoseok wanted his turn. Hoseok needed his turn.

With Namjoon keeping Ryker in place, Hoseok thought quickly, secured his arm, and twisted it, applying pressure near his elbow until it popped. Ryker screamed, gasping for air, but Namjoon only patted his head roughly, his voice laced with a mocking tone as he told him, “You’re fine. You need to learn to take what you gave.”

Hoseok didn’t break his arm like Ryker broke Faeryn’s, but he ensured it hurt as if he did, pulling his arm harshly to draw out the pain before relocating it with a loud pop.

Another scream ripped through Ryker, and the cowardly man sobbed, taking the pain miserably. It was pitiful; he was pitiful.

Namjoon pushed Ryker face-first into the couch, leaned in closer while effortlessly keeping him still, and said darkly in his ear, “If we see you again, there won’t only be four of us. There will be seven.”

They left Ryker choking on his sobs and pain, closing the door and exiting Faeryn’s old apartment with calm features.

The four men were quiet, but justice surged through them. They had begun to avenge their woman after nearly a year of harping over a possible time to do so. No legal action was required, not yet. Ryker couldn’t go to the police without outing what he’d done to Faeryn, and although he was stupid, he was scared enough to abide by his safety.

“We’ll stay,” Namjoon decided after a moment of the four men catching their breath, tossing a glance down to where the cafe was. “I don’t want Kenley to hear him like that; I don’t want him to twist the narrative.”

Jimin frowned. “Who?”

Namjoon shook his head, annoyed. “His new Autistic girlfriend.”

“Excuse me?”

“Uh-huh.”

“He just picks them out, then?” Jimin’s features clouded with fury. “Picks out people he thinks will be an easy target.” His neck ticked. “All right.”

“We’re done here,” Jin negated Jimin’s fiery. “We wait until Kenley leaves.”

So they waited. Ryker didn’t reappear, remaining in a lump behind the door as he struggled not to choke on the blood streaming from his nose. They didn’t break anything, they were careful not to, but they knew how to inflict pain without breaking bones. There had been plenty of bullies growing up picking on the younger kids from grade school straight into high school in each of their schools. Seeing Ryker at his grown age still be one was pathetic, and they had no patience for his kind. They knew just how to deal with people like him and weren’t afraid to do so when necessary.

Kenley exited the cafe twenty minutes later when a car pulled up, an older woman they assumed was her waving her forward to get in. Kenley walked forward, but not before looking up to view where Faeryn’s men were.

She shielded her hand over her eyes for a better look, and although she hesitated, she ended up waving.

All four of them waved back.

She hurried into the car, and once she was gone, they left the apartment for their cars.

“We’re not done here,” Jimin said. “With him.”

“No,” Jin confirmed. Opening his car, he made eye contact with his three friends one by one. “We’re not.”

Namjoon nodded tensely. “We’ll keep it low profile for Faeryn’s sake. No legal action involved.”

“We’ll call his workplace,” Hoseok relayed. “Fire him. Keep him from being re-hired.”

“We will,” Jimin attested rigidly. “Ruin his life without him ever knowing we did.”

“We will, but now,” Jin spoke, keeping his authoritative tone between the four of them, “we go home. To her.”

“To her,” Hoseok repeated, and nodding firmly, he took a step back in the direction of Namjoon’s car. Pivoting, he instructed Namjoon, “Come on.”

Namjoon cast one more dirty look in the direction of Faeryn’s old apartment, hoping Ryker would continue writhing in pain hours after they were gone—right where he’d made Faeryn suffer.

Karma wasn’t coming for him. Karma was already here.

Notes:

HOLY SHITTTTT 😩 If I had a man—let alone FOUR—that avenged me like this??? I'd be on my knees 🧎‍♀️I hope you all enjoyed this third-person POV formatting! I will be using it when I make chapters centering Faeryn's men in the future 🫣 P.S Ryker's road ahead of him is LONG and painful, and I can't wait 😩😈

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! There will be more on Kenley in future chapters 👀

I'll see you beautiful people in the comments! MWAH 🩷

Chapter 38: Freshly Fallen Snow

Summary:

As the first snow of the seasons falls, Faeryn's men discuss what consequences befell Ryker. After the difficult discussion, she spends the day off with her beloved Hobi.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I jolted awake in the middle of the night, gasping for air after a particularly harsh nightmare revolving around Ryker. He’d caught me in the shop and hurt me on the escalator, threatening to let my foot get stuck near the bottom until finally, he did.

“Hey, hey.” Arms encircled me, tugging me close, and I blinked blearily as I struggled to catch my breath. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare. No one’s hurting you, and I’m right here with you; right here to keep you safe.”

Hoseok.

I clung to him, breathing heavily against his shoulder as the dim light of the bedside lamp met my eyes.

Struggling to adjust to reality, I tried to bury myself into Hoseok, craving his warmth and comfort intensely.

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” he soothed. “You’re awake now. It’s all over, and you’re safe with me. Nice and warm in my bed, and nice and safe.”

“Hey.” Taehyung’s voice sounded from Hoseok’s door. “What happened? Did she wake up?” He closed the door as quietly as he’d opened it. “Faeryn, hey, are you okay?”

I looked over Hoseok’s shoulder, breathing a sigh of relieved comfort at the sight of Taehyung. When I reached for him, he walked to me immediately and quickly, breathing out a greeting as he sat on the bed with Hoseok and me.

“Hey,” he murmured. “Nightmare?”

I nodded with a small sniffle, slightly more awake than before.

“It’s okay,” he reassured me. “You’re awake now, and Hoseok and I are right here.”

I nodded again, my eyes fluttering when he kissed the side of my head. “Taehyung.”

“Yeah?” His features brightened. “That’s me.”

I shifted slightly, and understanding, he arranged himself beneath the blankets with Hoseok and me and pulled me closer, allowing them to hold me.

I stammered out my thanks, sounding slightly incoherent, but they understood, kissing me gently in response.

“Joon?” I managed. “Jin, and…and Jimin? Home?”

“They’re home,” Hoseok confirmed. “We got back a few hours ago.”

“Time?” I tried.

“It’s late,” he responded with a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Almost 2 AM.”

Plucking my courage, I stammered, “Ryker?”

“Dealt with.”

Stunned and unsure, I tried again, “Ryker?”

“Dealt with.” He caressed my hair. “He won’t have time to contact you or devise ways to see you again.”

“I…why?”

“He’s in need of a new job,” Taehyung muttered, his anger evident but so was his pride. “And he always will be.”

I stared at him and Hoseok, agape. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hoseok murmured. “We took care of it.”

“I…but I don’t understand.”

“That’s all right.” He kissed my forehead. “How about we talk about it in the morning? Hm? When things make a little more sense?”

I relented with a slow, creasing my brows as I looked at him. “It’s…but it’s okay?”

“It is, sweetheart, I promise. It’s all okay.”

Taehyung added decisively, “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

It was hard to feel unsafe between them, and still sleepy, I nodded and settled between them.

“And,” Taehyung added, leaning to the side and rustling through something. “We have something for you.”

Lifting himself back up, he brought Mr. Stuffins to light, making my eyes fill with relieved tears.

“Mr. Stuffins,” I breathed out, reaching for him hopefully. This time, when I reached for him, I could hold him, nearly shaking with relief. Before I brought my face to his fur as I usually did to breathe in his comforting smell, I hesitated, realizing he’d been with Ryker. He would smell like Ryker.

“It’s all right,” Hoseok said, slightly strained as he recognized the reason for my hesitation. “We gave him a little bath.”

Hopefully, I asked, “You did?”

“In the washing machine,” he confirmed as a fond smile pulled through at my sleepy features and tentative smile of hope. “And we made sure he was nice and warm in the dryer.”

“Sprayed him with your favorite scents too,” Taehyung revealed. “And then put him back in the dryer so the smells wouldn’t be so poignant.”

Once the words left his mouth, I eagerly buried my face in Mr. Stuffin’s fur. He smelled as he usually did, and I rubbed my face around to commemorate the comfort, sagging further into the mattress.

Peeking out after a moment, I saw them both smiling at me as they alternated gently caressing my hair and shoulders.

With a shy smile, I kept breathing in their comfort and the comfort Mr. Stuffins provided until I worked up enough words to reveal, “I tried to be…brave yesterday.”

Hoseok’s features creased. “You were very brave.”

“No,” I whispered. “I…I was so scared, and in the tub, I…I don’t know where I went.”

“The bathtub?” Taehyung asked quietly. “With Namjoon?”

I managed a nod. “It was like I was floating, but…a bad floating, and all I could think about was Ryker, and before that, I couldn’t talk or sign, and…that’s not being brave.”

“You got to that state,” Hoseok negated sternly, surprising me at his tone, “because you were brave. You got away from Ryker, you took yourself here, to safety, and then your body went into survival mode, letting you rest while you recharged your words and hands. Does that sound like a bad thing? Or does it sound like a brave thing?”

I choked up. “I don’t know.”

“It sounds like a brave thing,” he said firmly. “It was very brave.”

“But I left Mr. Stuffins behind. All my stuff.”

“It was very smart of you to leave them there,” he countered. “Always choose your safety over material things, okay?”

“But…Mr. Stuffins is not a material thing,” I told him. “He’s Mr. Stuffins.”

“I know, sweetheart, but I would rather you’re safe.” He caressed my cheek. “We can always get a new Mr. Stuffins, but there’s only one Faeryn.”

With a sniffle, I said, “There’s other Faeryn’s in the world.”

He chuckled softly. “Yes, that’s right, but there’s only one of you.”

“Only one this Faeryn,” I responded.

He smiled, and Taehyung laughed a little, pressing a few kisses to my neck before nosing against it.

“Only one this Faeryn,” Taehyung agreed.

“That’s right,” Hoseok confirmed fondly. “The one and only.”

I looked at them both adoringly, sinking comfortably between them and further into the blankets. “I like you so much.”

Hoseok’s features softened. “We like you so much, too.”

“So much,” Taehyung agreed ardently.

I began yesterday determined to be brave, and even if it was a day full of fright, I was still here. I was safe.

Maybe I could try being brave again. Maybe I could try again now.

With a stammered breath, I looked at two of the seven men I loved and cared about more than I could fathom, who made me feel safe, and cared for—and loved.

Tearing up, I whispered, “I love you.”

Hoseok cupped my cheek, a soft look in his eyes as he looked at me. “I love you.” His lips skimmed mine. “Very much, sweetheart. Very much.”

He didn’t look surprised or hesitate to return my words, and I was floored with emotion, finding it hard to stop my tears from cascading down my cheeks.

From the other side of my face, Taehyung pressed multiple kisses to my neck, his voice raspy and strained as he breathed against my skin, “I love you, Faeryn.” He nosed against my neck, exhaling, “I love you so much.”

“You love me,” I managed as my lips trembled into a tearful smile.

“We do,” Hoseok murmured. “Of course we do.”

I tried to hug both of them simultaneously, and they helped me, moving closer and kissing comfort and love to my face.

“Love you so much,” I whispered.

“We know,” Hoseok said softly. “Words aren’t always necessary. Actions speak louder than words, don’t they?”

I looked at him, surprised. “You…you knew?”

“You said you want to be with us forever,” he responded with a gentle smile. “You’ve said it without saying it.”

I blinked a few times before a shy smile filled my features. “Yeah.”

“Did you doubt that we loved you?”

I thought about it for a moment before slowly shaking my head. “I don’t think so. It’s just…it’s surreal to hear it after…” A light blush dusted my cheeks. “Not hearing it for so long.”

His hold on me tightened at the same time Taehyung’s did. “We’ll say it often,” Hoseok said firmly. “To make up for the severe lack of it in the past two years on your own.”

“With…Ryker,” I added tentatively.

“Yes,” he said rigidly. “With him. But he won’t be an issue anymore. You have us now, and we have you. Everything’s fine now.”

“And we’ll talk more about what happened tomorrow?” I wondered.

“We will,” he confirmed. “After a good night’s rest.”

“And everything will be fine,” Taehyung reassured me. “Plus, we have all of your things, not just Mr. Stuffins.”

“Our shared strawberry crochet bag?” I asked hopefully.

“And your phone,” he was glad to confirm. “We have everything.”

“After my brave day,” I said slowly, wincing when I thought about it. “We have everything back. Hoseok and Jin and Jimin and Namjoon; you all got my things back.” In a whisper, I added, “Mr. Stuffins especially.”

“We got them back,” Hoseok attested. “We told you we would always take care of you, and we did, and we will. Always.”

I snuggled into him as I pushed back into Taehyung. “Best.”

“Best what?” they spoke in unison.

“You’re the best. Both of you.” I exhaled deeply, feeling a smile slip onto my lips. “All of you.”

“So are you,” Taehyung murmured with a tight squeeze of my waist. “The best.”

The next morning, Jin and Namjoon sat me down, keeping me in their watchful care as Taehyung sat beside me at the table. Squeezing comfort and reassurance into my shoulders and back for a light massage, he removed one hand to gently nudge my untouched tea toward me.

“Do you want to drink your tea?” he murmured. “It’s good.”

“Maybe,” I said quietly.

“You have your straw, too. It’s a nice and safe cup of tea in your strawberry cup.”

His gentle coaxing pushed me to lift the cup to my lips and sip from the straw, and I was rewarded with the warm liquid settling into my stomach.

“Good,” I decided. “Really good.”

He smiled. “Jimin makes good tea.”

I looked at the kitchen exit where he left not too long ago after sharing a knowing look with Namjoon and Jin. They didn’t want to overwhelm me if too many of them were present for the upcoming talk about Ryker, so three of them remained while the others readied themselves for the workday.

Hoseok woke me up with the news that I had a day off, caressing and kissing my face as he told me to rest for a while longer before waking for breakfast, but I couldn’t fall back to sleep; I was too nervous for the Ryker discussion.

Now, I watched Namjoon and Jin as they stood at the table, neither one of them bothering to take a seat. Their expressions were stern and heated, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me. They would’ve told me so. I understood they were upset with the situation and Ryker, not me, so I let that knowledge ease me further into the chair and Taehyung’s hands.

“Did you sleep well?” Jin asked, his morning voice prominent and laced with gravel.

I showed a timid nod.

“Your arm,” Namjoon prompted seriously. “How does it feel? Are you in pain?”

I shook my head. “I took pain meds, so it doesn’t hurt a lot.”

“But it does hurt.” His lips set into a grim line. “Because of yesterday’s stress.”

I hesitated before admitting, “Yeah.”

His jaw ticked and locked as anger settled into his features. “Ryker is jobless now, Faeryn. If anyone should be stressed, it should be him.” His features eased slightly as his voice softened. “I’m sorry you’re in pain. Do you think massaging it would help?”

I traced the outline of my elbow. “I don’t want to massage it right now.”

“What do you want to do right now?”

“Finish talking about this,” I revealed quietly. “I just want to know what happened so we can move on.”

He dipped his chin as he exchanged a glance with Jin. “All right. We’ll talk about it.”

Jin folded his arms across his chest. “As Namjoon said, Ryker is without a job. Hoseok relayed his actions to his manager, said how bad it would be for business if customers knew that it employed filth, and that was all it took.”

My eyes widened. “What actions did Hoseok say Ryker did?”

“We didn’t name-drop anyone,” he told me firmly. “You weren’t mentioned nor was the woman he was with.”

“The woman he was with,” I echoed as I recalled yesterday’s events; the woman laughing with him at the shop. “She…she’s not safe with him.” Worriedly, I shook my head. “She’s not safe. Should I have told her? I was just so scared, and she was right next to Ryker—”

“You are your first priority,” Jin cut me off sternly. “You get yourself to safety first.”

“But the woman,” I insisted.

“Her name is Kenley,” Namjoon responded in Jin’s place, his words aimed to reassure me. “She has family and friends, and she said she would speak to them about Ryker for further insight. She’s…” He hesitated before concluding, “She’s Autistic, and most of the cruel things Ryker says go right over her head.” His features clouded. “He knows it does.”

“She has family,” I said, relieved. “And friends. A mom and dad?”

Namjoon looked pained. “Yes.”

I didn’t have a mom or dad when Ryker was hurting me; no one to turn to when I needed it the most. I had Lyric towards the end of the two years, but Ryker had isolated me so intensely by then that I was too afraid to ask for help, nearly certain that I deserved the abuse.

“She has people,” I said more to myself than to them. “She’s not alone with him.” I paused, confused. “When did you talk to her?”

Namjoon rubbed the side of his temples, upset to recall, “She was at the apartment you shared with Ryker; the lease is under her name now.”

My lips parted with shock. “He still lives there? And…and he’s making her pay just like he made me pay? And she’s Autistic like me?” I blinked rapidly. “She’s…she’s me. Ryker is dating me.”

Namjoon’s forehead creased as Jin’s came alive with anger.

“We have to help her,” I insisted. “She can’t be with him; he’ll hurt her—you know he will. Right now he won’t because he’s trying to catch her in his pretty web, but when he traps her, he’ll hurt her, and once he does, he won’t stop until she gets away.”

“She has her family,” Taehyung said in response. “Jin, Namjoon, and the others stayed with Kenley until her mom picked her up. She has a support system, so it’ll be harder for Ryker to trap her.”

I fell silent.

“Faeryn,” Namjoon prompted.

I shook my head.

“Faeryn.”

Again, and again, and again, I shook my head.

“Baby,” he murmured. Slowly, I lifted my brimming eyes to his, and his face twisted at the sight of my tears. “You have a support system now; you have us, and you have Lyric.”

“You didn’t have one before,” Taehyung said, subdued, “And I…I can’t imagine how scary that must have been for you, but that’s all over now, even if it’s scary to remember. You have good things to remember and look forward to now, okay? You have a nice apartment, a nice room here at home, friend dates to go on with Lyric—maybe even Cheverie—dates to go on with us, and of course, you have Mr. Stuffins. He’s always been there.”

I sniffled. “Yeah, even if he’s…not the same one my mom gave me.”

“Even if,” he whispered.

“I was afraid,” I admitted. “That I would lose this Mr. Stuffins and have to get a new one. It would have been because of Ryker, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to take my mom’s Mr. Stuffins and then Jin’s. It…it hurt my feelings.”

Taehyung squeezed me into a hug, rubbing my back soothingly. “It’s okay now. He didn’t take Mr. Stuffins, and we got him back for you.”

“Thank you.” My voice broke. “And Jin, I…” I looked over at him, finding the courage to relay, “I was scared that you would be mad at me for losing him last night, and I tried to tell you in the bath, but I couldn’t speak or sign, but…but also in the bath, I thought you must’ve not been mad at me because you didn’t say so, and you said you’ll always tell me if you’re mad, so…yeah.”

I lifted my shoulders slightly before nuzzling against Taehyung’s shoulder. “And I was going to communicate if I could have in the bath, and I just wanted to let you know that I wanted to.”

“Thank you,” Jin said softly. “For telling me.”

I nodded a bit. “I went on the escalators.”

“I know.”

“How?” I asked, surprised.

“We found a charm from your phone case.”

I blinked a few times. “It fell off?”

“We put it back on,” Taehyung made sure I knew. “Hot glue is pretty cool.”

I hugged him tighter. “Thank you.”

“It was brave,” Jin concluded. “To go on the escalator when you’re afraid of heights. You were brave yesterday, Faeryn, for the entirety of it. Seeing someone who abused you is alarming, and you did what you had to do; you ran, put distance between yourself and him, came home to us, and communicated in the way that you could at the moment.”

He inhaled sharply as he shook his head. “I’m very proud of you. We all are. You, Faeryn, were very brave.”

My voice dipped into an incredulous whisper. “Really?”

“Very.”

I exhaled tremulously. “Thank you. I…I tried to be brave because I wanted to be brave. I wanted it so much because I don’t want to be scared of Ryker or escalators or weird textures.” Somewhat proudly, I lifted my face from Taehyung’s shoulder to announce, “I touched a lot of weird textures yesterday.”

Namjoon smiled fondly. “You don’t have to do that, baby. It can mess with your senses.”

“But it’s okay,” I insisted. “Because I did it, and even if weird textures don’t feel safe doesn’t mean that I’m not safe.”

“That’s right,” Jin approved, his expression relaying his pride. “Very good, Faeryn.”

I smiled a bit before it faded. “I hope Kenley is okay.”

“She’ll leave him when she’s ready,” Namjoon responded with a tight sigh. “Hoseok said it yesterday, told her, too, that you can’t leave a situation until you’re ready to. No one can make the decision for her to leave, only she can.”

I nodded slowly as I processed. “I hope she’s ready to leave soon.”

“Me too.”

I thought for a moment. “Was she nice?”

“She was confused and a bit scared, but yes, she was nice.” He smiled slightly. “She liked your bunny charm.”

My lips parted. “She did?”

“It was the only reason she let Hoseok and I talk to her about who Ryker is.”

A strange emotion washed over me, and I choked up. “Really?”

“Yes,” he murmured, clocking the change in me immediately. “Bunnies are one of her special interests.”

“Maybe I helped a little?” I asked hopefully. “To keep her safe from Ryker?”

“You did,” he attested quietly. Firmly. “She held onto your charm the entire time.” He breathed deeply. “She said she hopes you’re okay.”

I faltered, surprised. “She believes me?”

“She saw how scared you were of Ryker,” Namjoon explained rigidly. “And it confused her. Made her think. Saving yourself by running and leaving your things behind just might have helped save Kenley.”

My bottom lip turned out with feeling, and as much as I tried to keep them back, my tears started to fall.

“I hope she’s okay,” I managed.

“Faeryn,” Taehyung murmured, pained. “It’s okay. She has her family and friends, okay? And now that she saw your fear of Ryker and talked to Namjoon and Hoseok, that should help her make the decision to leave him.”

“I hope so,” I stammered.

Wiping my eyes furiously, I took a deep breath before gulping down my tea, chasing its warmth.

“Careful, careful,” Taehyung advised, gently easing the straw out of my mouth. “A little at a time.”

“Warm,” I said, looking up at him.

He kissed my nose. “Even if the tea is warm, I don’t want you to choke, okay? So just try to take smaller sips.”

I kissed him in response, sniffling when I pulled away. “Do we have to keep talking about Ryker?”

Jin shook his head. “We can be done. However, if you feel like you need to talk about it now or later, Hoseok will be here with you while the rest of us are at work. Talk to him, yes? If for any reason you want to talk to one of us too, you know to call us. We’ll never be too busy for you.”

My heart swelled with appreciation. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he murmured.

Trying my best not to cry again, I took a moment before speaking. “I’m really happy that we love each other and that yesterday is over. I never want it to happen again.”

“That’s the good thing about yesterdays,” Taehyung decided. “They never happen again.”

Relieved, I agreed, “I like that about yesterdays.”

He kissed my cheek, smiling when I did. “Me too.” Brightening as if remembering something, he leaned back. “Guess what?”

“What?”

He stood and held his hand out to me. “I have something to show you.”

Eagerly, I took his hand, looking back at Namjoon and Jin questioningly. They just smiled in response, walking after Taehyung and me to the front door.

I didn’t get a chance to ask again when Taehyung opened the front door to reveal freshly fallen snow. It looked to be two feet of it, and I gaped in awe.

“Snow,” I breathed out. “So pretty.” I reached my hand out instinctively to touch where some was engraved on the front porch. It was cold, and my fingers burned consequently, but it was the burn of something beautiful.

Grinning, I pushed both of my hands into the snow, watching as they disappeared. My grandmother loved the beach; I loved the snow.

Taehyung laughed, smiling eagerly at my happiness, and quickly joined me. Both of his hands beside me, he scrounged around until his fingers caught mine, and we performed a tug-of-war beneath the snow.

“Careful,” Jin warned, but he was smiling. I could hear it before I turned to view it. “It’s cold.”

“It’s snow,” Namjoon teased, his smile softening when we made eye contact. “Of course it’s cold.”

“Really cold,” I confirmed giddily. Lifting a pile, I held it out to them. “Do you want some?”

“I already had breakfast,” Jin said drily. “I’m afraid I’m full.”

“Not to eat,” I returned with a giggle. “To touch.”

“I’d rather have you.”

With another giggle and red cheeks from his words and the snow, I molded the snow into a snowball, stood, and tried my aim at the mailbox. It was too far away to hit, but at least my snowball went in the correct direction.

“Made it!” I announced proudly.

“Where?” Namjoon teased. “The front yard?”

“That was my target,” I responded laughingly. “If I didn’t hit the mailbox.”

He laughed, coming up from behind me to take the next snowball I was making. Forming it, he stood and easily hit the mailbox.

I gaped. “How did you do that?”

“I have longer arms.” He pinched my chin fondly as he tilted it. “Stronger, too.” With a kiss, he drew me closer to him when he realized how cold I’d become. “Let’s come back inside.”

“No,” I protested, mewling when he gave me another kiss to silence my protests. “I have to make a snowman.”

“I’m sure your beloved Hobi will make a snowman with you after he bundles you up in fifty jackets and coats.”

“No,” I refuted. “I have insulated sweaters now, so only forty-five jackets and coats.”

He laughed again, kissing me repeatedly as he pulled me into his arms and took me back inside.

Taehyung tried his shot at hitting the mailbox with a snowball and was almost successful, claiming he would work out at HYBE to be able to hit it tonight.

“Were you all outside?” Hoseok asked as he descended the stairs. His smile quickly turned concerned when he took in my light shivering and red hands. “Sweetheart, you’re freezing. Why weren’t you wearing outdoor clothing?”

He was in front of me in seconds, making me squeak in surprise when he took me from Namjoon. The latter just chuckled and said something about coddling, stepping back and regarding us with an amused look.

“You need to wear gloves in this weather,” Hoseok scolded lightly, kissing my forehead a few times as he took me to the fireplace.

Setting me down, he grabbed the nearest throw blanket and bundled me within it, taking my hands and putting them near the fire as he rubbed warmth into them.

When a sharp shudder tore through me at the sudden change from cold to heat, he grabbed another two blankets to wrap me up in.

“Poor thing,” he lamented as he cupped my face and rubbed it with his warm hands to evoke heat. “You’re shaking.”

I pouted up at him, keening when he visibly melted and kissed me.

“I’ll make sure you get nice and warm,” he said firmly, and with a glance toward the kitchen, he covered my ears as he called, “Taehyung, do you mind boiling water for hot chocolate?”

“Hobi?” I asked.

He removed his hands from my ears as Taehyung hollered his cheery agreement. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can I have milk with my hot chocolate instead of water, please?”

“Oh, of course you can.” He kissed my nose fondly. “Thank you for telling me what you wanted.”

I beamed up at him, wiggling in an attempt to hug him, but my arms were pinned down in the blankets. Realizing what I wanted, he chuckled and eased me closer to him, hugging me as he covered my ears once more to call, “Could you heat up some milk instead, Taehyung? Thank you!”

“Thank you, my best crochet buddy!” I called back, giggling when Taehyung responded, “Anything for my best crochet buddy!”

Hoseok sat and pulled me into his arms, rubbing my arms and body to evoke the warmth the snow had stolen from my body, but I felt warmth inwardly. The excitement of snow, knowing it meant the holidays were on the way, and the chilly feeling it provided my body and the idea of warming up in the comfort of a home I now had. I felt warm inside, and that was so much better than feeling warm outside.

“Hobi,” I chirped. “We’re going to make a snowman today. Me and you, right? Do you want to?”

“Of course I want to,” he confirmed fondly. “How about we make it after lunch? Once we’ve had some time to relax this morning.”

“Okay,” I agreed good-naturedly. “I love making snowmen with you after we’ve relaxed in the morning.”

“Do you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, it’s just the best, and you’re just the best, and I’m so happy that it’s not yesterday anymore.” I tilted my head back to look up at him. “Taehyung said that’s the good thing about yesterdays; they don’t happen anymore.”

“He’s right,” he said, successfully reeling back his anger toward what yesterday was. He kept his words and tone soft for me. “I’m happy yesterday is over for your sake too.”

I went quiet for a moment, picking back up with, “You got my things back.”

“We did.”

“It…it makes me feel so safe that you got my things back like you promised because none of you ever break your promises and also because you went and got my things back, I didn’t have to see Ryker again.” I looked at him adoringly. “I just feel so grateful that you, Jin, Namjoon, and Jimin did that for me and that the others stayed with me when I was scared until I fell asleep, and then I woke up from a nightmare, but you and Taehyung made me feel better and told me you loved me too, and this morning, I had tea and talked about yesterday with Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung, and maybe I cried a little, but that’s okay, and now it’s snowing.”

I took a deep breath to compensate for the air I’d lost when rambling. “I like today so far, but I like it even more because it’s not yesterday. But…I think I like it best because all of you are in it.”

“Oh, Faeryn,” he murmured.

“I just love you so much.”

His arms tightened around me. “And I just love you so much.” With a tender kiss, he gently lowered my chin so I wouldn’t strain my neck. “My sweetheart.”

“Yours,” I whispered, content and giddy with the title. His sweetheart, their woman.

“Hey!” Jungkook announced from the top of the staircase. I twisted my neck to see him, grinning when I saw his toothbrush hanging from the side of his mouth, his unkempt hair, and only one arm through the sleeve of his shirt. “It’s snowing!”

From the coat rack, Jin turned to look at him, audibly sighing at the sight he beheld. “Jungkook, take your meds and come down. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes? I can do ten minutes,” Jungkook said decidedly.

“No, Jungkook. You can’t.”

Jungkook brushed his teeth with a vengeance. “Watch me.”

Fifteen minutes later, Jungkook pulled his shoes on, out of breath and without breakfast as he called his goodbyes to Hoseok and me, shutting the door and hollering to Jin’s honking that he was coming.

I giggled, successfully warmed up by the fireplace and Hoseok’s warmth. “He didn’t do it in ten minutes.”

Hoseok chuckled. “He never does, but he does a good job at trying.”

“Oh, yes,” I agreed. “The best job.”

He angled his face to kiss my cheek, my back still pressed against his chest as we faced the fireplace. “What do you want to do this morning?”

“Mm…” I looked around. “Stay home.”

I heard his smile. “And what do you want to do at home?”

“I want to talk to you,” I decided. “And then make snowmen after lunch. Maybe…seven of them! One for everybody at home. Oh! And me too. A snowwoman for me.”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

I snuggled deeper into his lap. “I know.” A sudden thought popped into my mind, and I squirmed in an attempt to see him.

He shifted me on his lap easily, allowing us to be chest-to-chest. He kissed my cheek. “Good morning.”

I giggled. “We’ve already been awake.”

“It’s still morning though, hm?”

I nodded quickly, trying to earn another kiss, and he chuckled into the next one he gave me.

“Then,” he concluded, his lips skimming mine as he spoke, “it’s a good morning.”

“Yeah,” I breathed out. “Good morning.”

He hummed in response, squeezing my waist lightly. “What did you want to ask me?”

I blinked. “How did you know?”

He laughed lightly at my surprise. “You wanted to look at me, and you don’t like asking questions when you can’t see me or the others. Not ones that you find important.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

I thought about that. “I didn’t even realize I did that.”

“It’s very sweet.”

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “Because I’m your sweetheart, and”—I shifted more comfortably on his lap—“I have something to ask you.”

“I’m listening, sweetheart.”

“Okay!” I beamed. “I wanted to ask if you like the holidays. Especially Christmas.”

He smiled. “I love them. They’re very special to me.”

“Really?”

“Mm, they are. Everyone from my extended family would come to visit, and some of them are hours away, so I wasn’t able to see them very often, making it a pleasant surprise when they would show up.”

His smile softened in remembrance. “My mother would tease me and insist no one was coming for Christmas, and then when they would show up, I would run to her and tell her Santa wouldn’t buy her presents because she lied to me.”

I giggled. “That’s so cute.”

“Santa never failed to get her presents though.” He chuckled. “My dad spoils her, but when Christmas comes, he takes his spoiling to an entirely different level. Anything she’s asked for throughout the year is under that tree on Christmas day.”

I clasped my hands beneath the blankets. “That’s so sweet! He sounds like the best.” I grinned up at him. “He sounds like you.”

He laughed lightly, tickling under my chin as he teased, “Where do you think I learned the spoiling from?”

I giggled happily, basking in his attention and tender playfulness. “He sounds really nice just like you, and I’m sure your mom loves him so much.”

“Oh, she does,” he confirmed, proud to do so. “My dad treats her like a queen, and that’s what she is; a queen. She used to work a job she hated before I was born,” he revealed. “And she would stress herself sick about it, so my dad took up two jobs to take care of her, which allowed her to quit and find a job that didn’t ruin her mental health.”

My heart tugged in my chest, and I whispered in awe, “That was so kind of him to do. He must have been tired working two jobs.”

“He said he would do it again,” Hoseok responded as he caressed my hair. “Her mental health improved drastically as soon as she quit, and it stayed that way when she found a job she loved. Now that I have enough money to care for them, they don’t have to work, and whatever exhaustion my dad faced when working two jobs was taken care of.”

I pushed my face into his shoulder and nuzzled against it since I couldn’t hug him, my hands still trapped in the blankets. “You’re so nice,” I gushed. “Your family is so, so nice.”

“They raised me right,” he attested as he kissed the side of my head. “They’ll love you and how kind you are.” With a chuckle, he added, “They might be obsessed with you.”

I squeaked. “Obsessed?”

“You’re incredibly kind and beautiful and sweet; it would surprise me if they weren’t obsessed with you.”

When I lifted my face to see him, he was smiling.

He kissed me, murmuring, “They’ll love you. I’m sure they already do.”

“How?” I asked, baffled and reeling from his lips.

“I’ve told them about the woman I’ve fallen for.” He traced my features gently before cupping my cheek. “My mom always asks on the phone, ‘How is your sweetheart?’. She loves hearing about you, and my dad insists I spend my money on you; buy you lots of pretty things.”

Reeling with this new information, I could only blink in surprise. “They know about me.”

“Did you think they wouldn’t?” he asked softly. “I tell everyone I know about you. I’m afraid it’s impossible for me not to speak about you.”

I promptly melted, pushing my face into his neck to kiss my thanks into it, suddenly speechless.

“If it’s ever worried you,” he murmured, rubbing my back, “all of your parents know about you and are more than fine with our relationship.”

I froze. “They…they know I’m dating all of you?”

“They do.” He squeezed my hip at my sudden pulse rate spike. “I can feel your heartbeat picking up, sweetheart.”

“They don’t hate me?” I whispered. “I…I know other people can find it weird that I’m dating all of you, but I really don’t want them to hate me. They’re your parents, and I…I want them to like me. I already like them so much because they gave me all of you.”

He held me close to him. “They don’t hate you; not at all.”

Shocked, I whispered just to make sure, “Really?”

“Really,” he said firmly. “They know how difficult it is as idols to date, and they think it’s good that we found you. That you found us.”

“Really?” I pressed hopefully. “I thought they wouldn’t like me because of that.”

“Respectfully, I wouldn’t be speaking with them if they hated you or anyone for that. It’s not a reason for hatred, and they know better.”

I squeezed him tightly. “I’m so happy they like me.”

“Of course they do,” he murmured. “What is there not to like?” He squeezed the back of my neck reassuringly. “Not to love?”

I inhaled sharply and rubbed my face around his neck, beside myself with content happiness.

“Love you,” I said with a few kisses along his throat. “Love you, Hobi.”

“I love you too.” He lifted my chin for a kiss. “So much.”

“So much.” I beamed up at him. “My Hobi.”

“My Faeryn.”

Bursting with happiness, I tucked myself back into his neck, more than content enough to just be held by the fire.

Once he was satisfied I was warm enough, he carried me bridal style to his room, gathering my crochet materials at my request and settling me comfortably into his bed. He worked through some emails and attended a HYBE meeting via Zoom that the others were involved in, wearing earphones since it was a private meeting, but after that, I had him all to myself.

“Hobi,” I said as I watched him flip through a journal of some kind. “Pretty.”

“Mm, thank you, sweetheart.” He squeezed my inner thigh as I crocheted a half-finished sweater diligently. “Would you like to see inside?”

I lit up. “Yes!”

With a smile, he angled the journal my way, and I gasped when I saw all the pretty photos, trinkets, and quotes inside.

“Wow,” I breathed out. “It’s so, so pretty.”

He patted my thigh appreciatively. “Thank you.”

“What are all of these things?” I pointed to the trinkets in wonder. “They’re so nice.”

“They’re whatever I find interesting about a place I visit,” he explained, setting the journal on my lap so I could touch the trinkets glued to the page. “I find most of them when we’re traveling during our comeback season, and I keep them to remember places by.”

“It’s like a book of your life,” I gushed, feeling each trinket excitedly. “I love it.”

He smiled, pleased. “I’m glad you like it.”

I looked up at him curiously. “Will you have a comeback again?”

He hesitated before a small smile pulled through. “I’m not supposed to say.”

“Oh! That’s okay,” I hurried to say. “You can just forget I even asked.”

He chuckled. “It’s in the works, hm? But don’t tell anyone, not even Lyric.”

“I won’t tell anyone!” My crochet hook paused in the next stitch. “Mm…Hobi?”

“Hm?”

“Does that mean that I won’t see you as much? If you’re having a comeback, you won’t be home, and I won’t see you and the others.”

“No, sweetheart, you’ll still see us,” he said decisively. “We’ll make sure of it.”

“But…how?” I pressed dubiously. “You’ll be somewhere else, and I’ll be at HYBE.”

He looked at me for a moment. “You could come with us. Take extended time off.”

Stunned, I struggled to find my words before stammering, “What?”

“You could take two months off of work; come with us.”

“But…that’s so…it’s so…different,” I managed. “And I won’t see Lyric, or sleep in my bed, or wake up every morning to have tea in my strawberry cup, and…” My features twisted. “It would be…”

“Not safe,” he concluded with a grim expression. Slowly, he nodded as he assessed. “It would be an abrupt change to your routine; new scenery, new textures, new everything, and it would feel unsafe.”

I hung my head. “I’m sorry I brought it up. I…I don’t want to talk about it anymore; don’t want to think about being away from all of you.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, sounding sorry. “We’ll figure it out, all right? Even if it means scheduling breaks to come back here for a few days, we’ll do it, okay?”

“Wouldn’t that make you more tired?” I whispered.

“No,” he refuted firmly. “Seeing you would be recharging. We’ll find a way, Faeryn, I promise. You’re our top priority, all right? If you don’t want to come with us when we’re traveling, we’ll make it work, and if you want to come with us, we’ll make it as sensory-friendly for you as possible and bring your things to make it feel like home. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he confirmed. “We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, hating the future thought of it. “I just…I know I’ll miss you if I don’t see you all the time.”

“We would miss you too.” He exhaled shortly. “Being an idol comes with hardships like this and generally being in the public eye, and I’m sorry if this is making you anxious. I don’t want to be apart from you as much as I enjoy comeback season, and I know the others feel the same.”

“Being Autistic comes with hardships too,” I added as I thought about this carefully. “Like not being able to go places you really want to go because your body will fight you. Sometimes, it’s like I’m not even in charge of myself because I really want to go somewhere, but my body…rebels,” I concluded sadly. “So even if I go somewhere I really want to, the sensory issues or loud crowds will make me miserable.”

His forehead creased. “I know.”

Momentarily, I revealed, “I don’t really like having Autism.”

He dipped his chin. “It’s okay to feel that way.”

I fiddled with my crochet hook. “I know it’s different, but do you not like being an idol sometimes because you have to leave people you care about for a long time like your family and friends?”

“I have those moments,” he agreed. “But being an idol is a part of me, and you’re right, it is different, but Autism is a part of you. It doesn’t make us who we are, but it’s also tethered into our being. It’s us.”

I shifted closer to him, his words making me feel seen. “Yeah, and it’s okay, right? Because even if the comeback is for a while, maybe…we can find something that makes it easier for me to go, right? Or maybe you can all come to visit. But we’ll be okay.” I nodded vigorously to seal my words. “A little while away from each other is not a long time when we have forever, right? We’ll be okay.”

“Of course we will.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me to his side, pressing multiple kisses to the top of my head. “It’s you and us. Everything else is just a bystander.”

My eyes brightened. “Namjoon said that at the dry needling appointment.”

“Did he?” he asked, amused. “He’s said it to me before when he’s talked about you; I must’ve picked it up.”

I giggled, keening at the knowledge they’d been talking about me. “Yeah. Probably.”

He passed his hand through my hair as a soft smile filled his features. “You and us.”

“Me and all of you,” I confirmed with a happy, content smile. “We’ll figure it out.”

“We always will.”

Notes:

well 😬 here comes the topic of their quick-approaching comeback...!!!

Also, I need a Hoseok in my life to coddle me what the heck ☹️ I love you guys 🫶🏼🩷 And I hope you enjoyed the suffocating devotion and coddling from Hoseok because I know I sure did 💔

Chapter 39: Surgery

Summary:

Faeryn's pain worsens and ends up in surgery, allowing her to experience the effects of the "sleepy drug"; anesthesia.

Notes:

An extra chapter for Valentine's Day!! You're all my Valentines <33

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Hoseok and I spent hours in the snow much to my delight. We made snowman after snowman, scattering them along the lawn until we reached the backyard, going over the original number I planned to make.

We walked around the neighborhood with hot chocolate in travel mugs, talked about whatever came to mind, and I even found a leaf that had been spared from the snow, simply lying above it. I picked it up and eagerly offered, “For your journal.”

He accepted the leaf with a fond smile. “For my journal?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed. “Because it’s something special, and you put special things in your journal.”

He kissed my forehead. “Thank you.”

When the others returned, Jungkook announced their arrival, pleased when I attacked him with a hug and kisses.

“Ducky,” he said excitedly as he squeezed me tightly to him. “Guess what?”

I wriggled in his arms, sighing at the nickname. “What?”

“I have new management, and don’t worry because they passed the background check—and Jaehyun will be with me whenever my management is with just to make sure they’re safe, but that’s only for just in case,” he revealed quickly. “Their past clients have raving reviews, so HYBE is really feeling good about them, and Namjoon and the others are too, so…I feel a little excited, too.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist, clinging to him as his nervous excitement seeped into my form. “You’ll be safe with Jaehyun,” I decided. “And I really hope your new management is nice to you. It’s really exciting to have management again, right?”

He nodded quickly. “Right. It’s been a really long time, over a year, and…I don’t know.” He shrugged, a bit embarrassed. “I felt left out.”

“Aw, Kookie,” Jimin murmured from the coat rack. Tugging his jacket off, he hooked it over the rack before coming to us. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook admitted with a blush. “I didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself, but it’s fine, okay? I have new management now, so we don’t have to talk about it.”

“We don’t have to,” Jimin confirmed. “But we can. Hm, Kookie? If you want to talk to one of your hyungs, you always can. You know that.”

“I know,” Jungkook said quietly as gratefulness mingled with his shy exterior. “Thanks, hyung.”

“Mm.” Jimin ruffled the younger’s hair. “You’re very welcome, bunny.”

Exiting the kitchen, Hoseok smiled at the sight of me in Jungkook’s arms. “Bunny and Ducky.”

I sighed again. “I’m not ducky.”

“No? You’re not ducky?”

I gave him a look. “Hobi.”

Jimin chuckled. “Don’t worry, honey. You’re our sweet ducky, hm?”

Defeated, I slumped in Jungkook’s arms, rewarded with a round of cooing from the three of them.

“There you go,” Jimin praised. “Just relax.”

“Ducky,” Jungkook concluded, pleased. “Our ducky.”

Jin commanded from the kitchen, “Stop tormenting her.”

“We would never torture our sweet girl.” Jimin pinched my cheek fondly. “Isn’t that right, honey? We would never torture you?”

“Jimin,” I protested.

“Hm?”

“I’m not ducky,” I persisted. “I’m Faeryn.”

“We can’t call you our little ducky as a nickname? Hm? You don’t like that?”

“I’m not a ducky.”

“We know you’re not, but that’s why it’s just a nickname. Do you not like nicknames?”

“Ducky is a good nickname?”

He pinched my cheek again. “We think it is.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook decided. “Because you waddle.”

I defended, “Only because Hoseok puts me in too many coats.”

“45,” Namjoon concluded, stepping out from the kitchen to join us. “To be exact.”

“Ducky is a good name,” Jungkook said hopefully. “Right, Faeryn? It’s so cute, just like you.”

I blushed. “Cute?”

“The cutest,” he gushed.

“Mm…okay,” I relented, turning shy from the compliment. “Maybe I can be ducky.”

“Oh, such a sweet girl,” Jimin crooned. “Our pretty, sweet Faeryn.”

Jungkook nudged his nose against mine affectionately as he happily concurred, “Our sweet, pretty Faeryn who’s also a ducky.”

I giggled, melting from his affection. “Yeah, I’m sweet.”

“And pretty,” Hoseok added with a soft smile. “Very pretty, sweetheart.”

“And ducky,” Jungkook made sure I hadn’t forgotten.

I beamed, wiggling in his arms again as I joked, “A pretty ducky?”

He mirrored my big smile. “Yes! Pretty, pretty ducky.” He kissed me non-stop until I couldn’t breathe, and Namjoon’s warning came soon after, causing Jungkook to grudgingly pull away.

“Okay, Faeryn?” he prompted. “Can you breathe?”

I gasped for air between my giggles, earning fond smiles from the others and a big, relieved grin from Jungkook.

“Faeryn,” he breathed out, nuzzling his face into my neck as he hugged me.

“Give her space to breathe,” Jin ordered as he left the kitchen. “Faeryn, come here.”

Jungkook clung to me. “I can put her down, but there’s space for me to breathe with me.”

“I’m aware.” Jin arched a brow. “But I didn’t tell her to stay with you, did I?”

“Put her down, bub,” Namjoon instructed with a chuckle. “She’s helping Jin make dinner.”

My features brightened, and I squirmed in an attempt to get to Jin. “What are we making? Potatoes?”

“As a side dish, yes,” Jin confirmed. “You can see the main dish when you come here.”

Freeing myself from Jungkook, I kissed him goodbye and raced to Jin, only slowing down when I remembered I was prone to tripping over thin air.

“I’m ready,” I chirped as I took his hand. “Let’s go.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Mhm.”

“Jin?” I wondered as I took in the ingredients on the counter.

“Yes, Faeryn.”

I gnawed on my lip, zoning in on the flour.

“Faeryn,” he prompted.

I jolted slightly, showing a sheepish smile in return. “Sorry.” I pointed at the flour. “I was reading the ingredients.”

He hid a smile. “That’s all right. Is that what you wanted to ask me? The ingredients for the flour?”

“No,” I responded to his light tease as I sidled my way to him. “It was something else.”

“Mm.” He passed a hand through my hair on his way to squeezing the base of my neck. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah.” I rested my head against his side. “My wrist hurts.”

He peered down into my face. “What are your pain levels?”

“Seven and a half.”

He paused, angling my face upward as he lowered himself to my level. “Seven and a half?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I pointed to where the pain originated. “Right here.”

He studied my face. “Faeryn.”

“Yes, Jin?”

“You don’t look like you’re in pain,” he noted gravely, “even at a seven and a half, so I need you to tell me how long you’ve been in pain without any of us knowing, including yourself. Do you remember any type of pain starting at a specific time?” He squinted. “You’re a bit pale.”

I thought hard. “I…I’m not sure. Maybe this morning?”

“Did you sleep in your new position like we spoke about?”

I paused, and sadly, I shook my head. “I tried, but I woke up with my hands near my face.”

He exhaled deeply. “The position increased your pain.”

“Sorry, Jin,” I whispered.

“It’s not your fault,” he negated, cupping my cheek fleetingly before rubbing my arm. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Are we going to make dinner now?” I wondered.

“You’re in pain, Faeryn. No, we’re not going to make dinner right now.” He lifted himself. “When was your last dose of painkillers?”

“Mm…maybe five hours ago?” I guessed.

“Before or after lunch?”

“Before,” I recalled.

“More than five hours ago,” he said. “You know to take your medicine every four hours, Faeryn.”

I turned red. “I was having fun with Hoseok building snowmen.” I gestured toward the windows where the porch lights illuminated a few snowmen. “See?”

“Whatever you’re doing with whomever, you still need to take your medicine.” He withdrew my phone from my pocket. “We’ll set a reminder.”

“It’s okay,” I determined carefully as I tried to gauge his expression. “It was just an accident that I forgot to take my medicine today. I’m not in trouble, Jin.”

“No, you’re not in trouble.” He kissed my forehead gently. “And you’re right; it was just an accident. That’s why we’re setting up a reminder, to prevent the accident from occurring again. I know ADHD can make it difficult to keep a schedule, but your Autism’s pattern recognition will fall into the habit once the reminders are a staple in your routine.”

“You’re not mad because you didn’t say you were.”

“That’s right, Faeryn, and if I look upset, it’s because I don’t like to see you in pain.”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “When I take the medicine, I’ll—”

I froze as a multitude of sharp, stabbing pains coursed through my wrist up to my neck. I twitched, unmoving in my spot in fear that the pain would be worse if I moved, but it didn’t matter; the pain was worse moving or not.

“Faeryn,” Jin said slowly. “Talk to me.”

Along with the sharp pains came a cold, aching pain, and when I tried to lift my elbow slightly to hold it with my hand, everything stopped as pain took the forefront. I cried out as my eyes filled against my will, shuffling in place as I cried in earnest.

“Hey, hey.” Jin lowered himself back down to create level eye contact with me, allowing me to see the concern written on his forehead. “It will pass. Just keep breathing through your nose, out your mouth.”

I shook my head furiously, each deep breath only increasing the stabbing pains. “Hurts,” I stammered. “Hurts me.”

He swore under his breath, rummaging around in his pocket until he felt the familiar clink of his keys, and pulling hooking them to his belt loop, he carefully lifted me.

“Breathe,” he instructed as he carried me bridal style into the living area. “Focus on your breathing.”

As soon as we exited the kitchen, my crying was heard and garnered everyone’s attention. Questions were immediately thrown our way, but Jin held his hand up, effectively silencing everyone.

“She’s in pain,” he revealed, his tone set and serious. “I’m taking her to the ER.” Looking down at me, his tone softened once directed towards me. “Who do you want with us? Can you tell me, or do you want me to decide?”

Pain engulfed me, and it felt scary. Unsafe. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to feel safe, for the pain to stop, and immediately, I managed through my tears, “Taehyung, please.”

Taehyung, the embodiment of safety, hurried off the couch and toward us to pull his shoes and coat on.

“I’ll come with you,” he said, slightly breathless as he rushed to get ready to keep me from waiting in pain. “Jin and I will take good care of you, and so will the doctor and nurses.”

Jin confirmed Taehyung’s promise as he angled me into a position that allowed Hoseok to dress me in a few jackets and coats, careful with every movement he made, even when pulling my shoes on. The pressure of the jackets and coats helped to stabilize my elbow, and exhausted from the onslaught of pain, my head fell back against my will, desperately needing a reprieve from the pain.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re going to be okay,” Hoseok assured me, his brows creased with concern as he gently shifted my neck to allow my head to rest more comfortably against Jin’s chest. “Jin and Taehyung are taking you to the ER so you can feel better, okay? And when you get back, we’ll all be here for you.”

I whimpered, pained.

“I know, sweetheart, I know, and I’m so sorry.” He kissed my forehead before Jin turned with me to the door. “You’ll feel better soon, okay? Just let Jin and Taehyung take good care of you.”

I sobbed quietly, unable to stop the tears as my body shook with the effort to keep up with the pain, failing repeatedly to regulate.

In the car, Taehyung sat with me in the backseat, rubbing my arm as he spoke comfort to my never ending flow of tears.

“I’m scared,” I managed through my tears.

“It’s okay to be scared,” he reassured me, his brows creased as he took in my tears. “Can you tell me why you’re scared? Is it because of the pain or the doctor? Maybe both?”

“Both,” I stammered. “And I was just fine in the kitchen with Jin, but it just hurt so bad all of a sudden. That’s scary.”

“I know,” he agreed, pained. “I’m so sorry it hurts so much, Faeryn, but the doctors at the ER have pain meds that will help immediately. That’s why we’re going there, okay? And it’s not too far, so don’t worry. The pain will be gone soon.”

“Soon,” I repeated, trying to let the promise soothe me. “Soon.”

“Soon, Faeryn. Really soon.”

Amid my pain, I couldn’t help but think of Kenley. How her arm would soon be broken by Ryker if she didn’t leave.

“Kenley,” I voiced brokenly. “She’s going to feel this much pain too.”

“No,” Jin cut in sternly. “She has her family and friends to worry about her and keep her safe. Don’t stress about her, too, Faeryn. Focus on yourself and breathing.”

“But Kenley,” I insisted. “She has to get away. She won’t like this pain—it hurts so much, and I don’t want Ryker to hurt her or anyone else.”

“Faeryn,” he admonished. “Focus on breathing.”

“Jin,” I pressed.

“Kenley will be fine, and if she isn’t, she has her family and friends to help her. Ruminating about her safety will heighten your stress which will increase your pain. Is that what you want? To feel more pain?”

My tears fell faster. “No, but I—I just want her to be okay.”

“And I need you to be okay,” was his firm response. “Now show me how you take a deep breath.”

I tried my best with stammering breaths and sharp inhales, each try only causing sharp pains to course through me.

I just hoped Kenley would never feel the full effects of Ryker’s damage. Not like this. Not ever.

At the ER, we didn’t wait long. At the sight of my pain, I was escorted into a room to be seen. The doctor was an older man in his fifties, wearing a face mask as he approached with latex gloves.

“Hello, Ms. Petal,” he greeted, his greying brows furrowing as he took in my tears. “Nerve pain, huh? That can’t be fun.”

Ms. Petal; that’s what my grandfather used to call me.

My tears paused momentarily, and I managed a nod.

He clicked his tongue. “We need to get you fixed right up.” He stepped forward, now at the side of the cot I was lying on. “Where does it hurt the most?”

“Everywhere,” I stammered. “But it starts at my wrist and goes up to my neck.”

“Cubital tunnel syndrome, it sounds like,” he attested.

“It is,” Jin confirmed gravely. “We’ve been trying dry needling, physical therapy, and a different sleeping position, but last night, she had her elbow bent during sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered tearfully. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Oh, hush,” the doctor silenced my apologies. “It was just an accident; no need to apologize. New sleeping positions are difficult to get used to, so your body reverts to what’s most comfortable.”

Jin nodded curtly. “It’s what I think caused the pain today. The past few days have been extremely stressful for her as well, so I’m sure that didn’t help.”

The doctor nodded as his lips set in a straight line. “Oh, I’m sure it didn’t help.” He reached for my arm. “May I?”

I hesitantly released it, finding it easier to trust him because of his similar persona to my grandfather. He looked similar to him, too.

Sniffling, I tensed as he examined my arm, gently prodding his fingers along it as he did.

“Mhm, yes, this seems to be a flare up due to stress,” he confirmed. “How long have you been trying dry needling and physical therapy?”

“A month now,” Jin responded. “Her pain has been ongoing for over a year now.”

The doctor raised his brows. “A year is much too long to be experiencing this kind of pain.” He looked at me. “Isn’t that right, Ms. Petal?”

I nodded sadly. “I don’t like it.”

“Oh, I’m sure you don’t.” He released my arm. “It seems the steps you’ve taken to help haven’t helped much either.”

“Just a little,” I revealed. “But…it stills hurts.”

He considered before sighing. “There is the last resort.”

I shook my head quickly. “No surgery, please.”

“Are you scared of it?” he asked gently.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“You’ll be asleep the entire time,” he explained. “And when you wake up, things will be better. It’s just like taking a little nap, and when you wake up, you’ll be rested and better. A two in one deal, eh?”

My bottom lip quivered. “I’m still scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” Taehyung murmured from beside me. “But this will help you feel better. Don’t you want to feel better after being in pain for so long?”

My chest stammered with a failed breath. “Yeah, but I’m scared.”

“We can do things when we’re scared,” he continued. “Because we’re brave, and you’re so brave, Faeryn. You’ve been through so much, and surgery will only help you, even if it seems scary.”

“Your friend is right,” the doctor attested. “Surgery might seem scary, but Cubital Tunnel release surgery is quick and easy. You’ll be in pain afterwards as you heal, but you’ll have pain medication to help with that, and afterward, you’ll feel better.”

“Better?” I whispered.

“Better,” he confirmed. “You just have to take that leap of faith.”

I looked at Jin and Taehyung for confirmation, and they both nodded.

“You can do it, Faeryn,” Jin told me. “We’ll be right there with you every step of the healing process.”

“After that too,” Taehyung added decisively. “Always.”

I nodded slowly to myself.

“Well, Ms. Petal?” the doctor prompted. “What’s it going to be? Or do you need some time to talk it through with your friends?”

I sniffled. “I…I’ll do it, grandpa.” I froze. “I’m—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude, but you remind me of my grandfather, and he was really kind, and I miss him so much, but you’re not him, and I’m sorry for calling you—”

“Relax,” he said with a hearty laugh. “I don’t mind. I wasn’t supposed to be on this shift as it is, was supposed to be home with my grandkids, so having you call me grandpa just reminds me of them.” He winked. “It’s better than being called doctor all day. Reminds me who I’m working for.”

My heart filled with warmth, and relieved he wasn’t upset, I showed a small smile. “Okay.”

“Yes, it is okay.” He grabbed his chart. “I’ll set up an OR for surgery. It will have to tomorrow, however, since you can’t eat or drink anything for a while before. After midnight, don’t eat or drink anything, okay? I’ll see if we can get you in early enough that you’re not starving.” He scribbled notes in his chart. “On top of that, I’m going to get you some pain meds that should help take the pain down right now. Once the nurse brings that in, you can stay so we can monitor if the pain goes down. After that though, you’re free to go home.”

“Will you be doing the surgery?” I wondered tentatively.

“I’m actually off of work tomorrow.” When he viewed my downcast features, he chuckled a bit. “It is a quick surgery, only around 20 minutes, so why not?”

My features lit up. “Really? You’ll do it?”

“If it’s makes you feel better to have your grandpa there, then yes, Ms. Petal, I’ll do it,” he responded jovially. “Now if that’s all, I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.”

I nodded hopefully. “Okay. Thank you so much for doing the surgery and for not being upset when I called you grandpa.”

He laughed again. “Don’t mention it.”

With a wave and another wink, he left the room.

I sagged in the cot, breathing a sigh of relief even if the pain was just as harsh as before. “Pain meds,” I said. “They’re coming soon.”

“That’s right,” Jin confirmed. “They’re on their way.”

I looked at him and Taehyung, inhaled shakily as I struggled with pain management, and whispered, “He looked just like my grandfather, and he called me Ms. Petal. My grandfather always called me that.”

“He was really nice,” Taehyung supplemented graciously.

I sniffled and showed a tearful, strained smile. “I’m happy that he can do the surgery tomorrow. I…I feel a little less scared because he’ll be there.”

Taehyung’s features shifted into a warm smile. “That’s really good, Faeryn, and I’m sure your grandfather is really happy that you have someone that reminds you of him to look after you tomorrow in surgery.”

My lower lip turned downward. “That’s so nice.”

He kissed my cheek softly. “It’s true.”

“And,” I added tremulously. “He’s happy that I have all of you; my best friends.” I shyly amended, “Boyfriends.”

“The wording is fine,” Jin murmured. “Use whatever feels comfortable to you; we know who we are to you.”

My heart brimmed with gratitude. “You’re my boyfriends and best friends.”

A small smile tugged at his lips. “We are.”

“And you’re our girlfriend and best friend,” Taehyung added fondly. “Always.”

“Always,” I attested assiduously, wincing when the pain continued to ransack me. “Hurts.”

“I know,” Taehyung responded, pained. “The nurse should be back soon with the pain meds, okay? Do you want to hold my hand and squeeze when it hurts?”

I took him up on his offer immediately, and much to my relief, the nurse appeared minutes later. I swallowed the medicine down with some water, and after an hour of wait, they begin to diminish my pain from the 9 it had travel to down to a 4.

Relieved and exhausted, I slumped in the cot, putty in Jin’s arms as he lifted me from it. I rested my cheek on his shoulder, too tired to lift it and do anything other than remain limp.

He kissed the side of my head protectively. “Rest if you can, Faeryn. We’re taking you home.”

I fell into the comfort and safety he provided, sleeping soundly in his arms before we made it to the parking lot.

At home, I woke up as Jin carried me through the front door, and I blinked blearily, smiling drowsily when I saw everyone standing or sitting in the living room.

I waved with my non-injured hand, receiving numerous responses in return, all subdued and quiet to let me grow accustom to being awake.

“Okay?” Yoongi was the first to ask.

I pushed my thumb up.

“Good,” he murmured.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Hoseok greeted softly. As he returned my shy smile with his handsome one, he let me wake up, asking Jin instead of me, “How are the pain levels?”

“They administered pain medication,” Jin revealed. “When we left, her pain levels were at a four.”

“That’s really good,” Jungkook breathed out with wide, hopeful eyes. “Right, Joon?”

“That’s right, bub.” Namjoon pulled the younger closer to him, allowing him to curl closer for comfort. “It is.” To me, Namjoon regarded me with a tight smile laced with concern. It contained the same protectiveness that Jin’s did. “We’ll let her relax. There’s no need to bombard her with questions right now, not that you did, bub. Your question was fine.”

“Okay, hyung,” Jungkook nodded quickly, watching me from his position half on Namjoon’s chest and half on the couch. “You can relax, Faeryn, okay? You don’t have to answer any more questions.”

I managed another thumbs up before burying my face in Jin’s shirt and lulling closer to sleep than reality.

“She’s tired,” Taehyung said quietly, keeping his voice down for my sake. “We’ll put her to bed and then tell you what the plan is for her pain.”

“All right,” Yoongi confirmed. “We will wait here.”

As Jin carried me to the stairs, I found my last bit of strength, struggling against sleep’s claws as I reached for Taehyung. I couldn’t see him from my position, but I heard his footsteps quickly approaching.

He understood my wordless plea, and he told the others he would be back later as he followed Jin and I upstairs. Jin seemed to understand what I wanted as well as he took me to Taehyung’s room instead of his or my own.

In Taehyung’s bed, I reached for him, only breathing a sigh of relief once he lowered himself to pull me into a secure, warm embrace.

“We’ll get you into something comfy,” he told me firmly. “Pajamas.”

I shook my head, too tired to go through the motions of changing. I grasping his shirt and tugged, looking up at him hopefully.

“You want one of my shirts?” he guessed, and when I nodded quickly, he agreed readily, patting my back a few times before leaning back. “I’ll find one of my comfiest, long shirts for you, okay?”

I hugged myself to convey I would hug him if I could, and he beamed, waving as he walked to his drawers.

Jin approached the bed where I sat, halfway to falling over. Lifting me by beneath my arms, he arranged me on my back, leaning down to kiss me. It was gentle, softer than he usually was, but it held all of the protectiveness it always did.

“Sleep,” he said against my lips. “Taehyung will keep you safe.”

I clung to him, only grudgingly releasing him when Taehyung returned with one of his longer shirts, and then I clung to him.

He laughed a bit, letting me hug him as he tried to pull the shirt over my head and through my arms. It ended up with Jin squeezing my hip, a silent instruction, and I released Taehyung, waiting anxiously until I could hug him again and earn more of his warmth.

Already teetering back to sleep, I waved languidly at Jin and blew him a kiss. I caught his smile and gentle goodnight bidding before he turned and left Taehyung and me to ourselves.

Taehyung quickly changed into his pajamas and joined me under his blankets, tangling his legs with mine as we curled as close as we could be. My comfort person, exuding all the safety in the world, and I nuzzled against his chest as I settled.

The ER trip had been scary, but he had been there, and so had Jin. And tomorrow, the doctor similar to my grandfather would help make me feel better, even if the option was surgery.

Even if, because I would be okay. And I would come home and recover with my seven men who I loved too much to ever truly verbalize.

Taehyung caressed my hair as I drifted closer to sleep, murmuring soft comfort into my ear as he did, and the vibrations it provided lent me a shiver I welcomed whole-heartedly, mewling as sleep finally won within the safety of Taehyung’s arms.

In the morning, Taehyung helped me dress comfortably for surgery. He let me wear one of his loose fitting sweatshirts to help me feel safe and carried me downstairs after helping me wash my face and dress.

Exhausted, I let him buckle me up in the backseat of Jin’s car as the latter pushed the keys in ignition, watching me intently from the rearview mirror.

“How do you feel, Faeryn?” he prompted.

I pushed my thumb out to the side before my cheek fell to the side to rest on the seatbelt.

“Not bad, not good,” Taehyung translated, kissing my cheek before taking the seat beside me.

“Nervous,” I whispered. “And sleepy.”

“You’ll rest after surgery,” Jin responded. “You’ll have plenty of time to do so.”

“He’s right,” Taehyung attested. “You’ll be out of work for a while you heal.”

I blinked at him, then at Jin. “But…who will do reception?”

“Chiksu will find someone,” Taehyung reassured me. “A seasonal position, just until you get back. It will be easy; a lot of people want to work at HYBE.”

I nodded slowly. “Well…I can still come back once I’m better, right?”

“Of course you can,” he confirmed as Jin started the car. “We’ll make sure of it.”

“Mm…okay.” I looked out the window. “I’m going to count things now.”

“Very good, Faeryn,” Jin approved, pride staining his words. “Count what you see and try to relax. Everything will be fine.”

“Everything will be fine,” I echoed.

“That’s right.”

Taehyung pulled out his phone. “Do you want to listen to your favorite Yoongi song? He sent me the file in case you wanted to listen to it; he said it might help.”

Eagerly, I turned to him. “Yes, please.”

With a smile, he slipped his earphones into my ears, pressing play and letting Yoongi’s song fill my ears.

Content, I leaned against the car window as I listened to his song and counted passing objects.

The doctor who reminded of my grandfather, Dr. Ja-Eun, was there, and he smiled when he saw me.

“Good morning, Ms. Petal,” he greeted. “How are we feeling today?”

“Nervous,” I admitted, walking between Taehyung and Jin as we entered a room, the latter keeping his hand on my shoulder to guide and comfort me.

Dr. Jae-Eun chuckled. “You’ll be just fine, you remember that. Can you do that?”

I nodded quickly. “I can.”

“Good!” He gestured to the hospital gurney. “We have a hospital dress you can change into, and you can just close the door for some privacy. Your friends will wait outside while I go get ready in the OR.”

“Her friends will stay with her,” was Jin’s firm response.

“Ah.” Dr. Jae-Eun hid a smile. “I see. Well, then I will go get ready in the OR. Faeryn, I will see you in about half an hour. Keep remembering your fine status!”

With that, he gave us the room.

I inhaled sharply and stored air in my cheeks.

“Breathe,” Jin instructed as he guided me to the gurney.

I exhaled shakily as Taehyung prompted me to lift my arms with a gentle tap to them.

“I’m nervous,” I told them as I chewed on my bottom lip.

“It’s okay to be nervous.” Taehyung carefully lifted his sweatshirt I adorned above my head. “Everything will be okay.”

I was quiet as I stepped out of my pants, shivering as the cold air from the room nipped at my skin.

Jin dressed me in the hospital gown, and I looked down at it, fretfully patting the sides as he tied the back.

“It’s like I’m naked,” I whispered urgently.

“Your back will be facing the gurney.” Jin finished tying the gown and gave my waist a firm squeeze. “No one will see it.”

“Mm…okay,” I said uncertainly, releasing a startled squeak when he lifted me and placed me on the gurney.

“See?” Taehyung prompted. “No one will see.”

I nodded, relieved. “Okay.”

Thirty minutes passed achingly slow, and when a few nurses came to take me to the OR, I panicked.

“Faeryn, breathe,” Jin warned, but he didn’t let go of my hand when I claimed his. “It will be fine.”

Taehyung assured me, “You’ll be asleep the entire time and won’t feel a thing, and you’ll feel better once you’re awake when it’s over.”

“Scared,” I stammered.

“It’s okay to be scared, Faeryn, really, but it will be okay,” he promised.

Jin concluded, “Don’t let fear stop you from healing.”

My grip on his hand tightened before slowly loosening, his words resonating with me, and I nodded curtly.

“Okay,” I whispered with finality. “I can do it even if I’m really scared. Right?”

“That’s right,” Jin confirmed as Taehyung spoke his agreement.

I looked at them until I couldn’t, the nurses pushing the gurney until the room they remained in disappeared.

“Don’t worry, hun,” one of the nurses said. “You’re in good hands. Dr. Jae-Eun is one of our best.”

“Oh. Okay.” I clasped my hands together anxiously. “He reminds me of my grandfather, and he didn’t even have to come today, but he did because it would make me feel better. He’s really nice, right?”

“Really nice,” she confirmed kindly. “So there’s no need to worry. As nice as he is, he’s even nicer at his job.”

“That’s really great,” I breathed out.

Dr. Jae-Eun was in the OR, ready to go, and so was the anesthesiologist.

“Hi,” I greeted everyone nervously. “I’m Faeryn.”

“Hi Faeryn,” was chorused back at me, and slightly startled that everyone said hi back, I managed a wave.

“I’m nervous,” I told them. “I’ve never done surgery before.”

“That’s more than okay.” Dr. Jae-Eun winked. “Because I’m doing the surgery today, not you.”

His words evoked a giggle from me. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It wasn’t?” He grinned. “Silly me.”

I giggled again, looking around at everyone present. “Mm…there’s a lot of people here. Is that…usually how surgeries are, or are they here just in case something goes wrong?”

“They’re here to assist,” he explained. “This is how it always is in an OR.”

“Oh.” Put at ease, I nodded. “That’s really great.” Stressed as someone approached with a mask, I blurted, “I like dinosaurs.”

“Oh yeah?” Dr. Jae-Eun lifted a brow. “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

“The Monolophosaurus,” I whispered. “It’s the best.”

“I’m pretty basic and like the T-Rex,” he joked. “It has tiny arms, huh?”

“Yeah,” I stammered. “Tiny arms.”

“Okay,” the anesthesiologist said. “We’re going to count backward from ten, and then you’re going to take a nice little nap while Dr. Jae-Eun makes you feel better. Do you want to tell us more about the Monolophosaurus? We would all love to hear about it, wouldn’t we?”

The entire room spoke its agreement, and surprised, a timid smile met my lips. “Really?”

“We all love dinosaurs here,” she said with a smile. “Tell us all about it.”

“Okay,” I agreed, encouraged. She brought the mask to my mouth as I explained, “The Monolophosaurus was 1,000 pounds and a tetanuran theropod in the Middle Jurassic Shishugou Formation which is now Xinjiang, China. And it had a long, bony ridge that went from its nose back to the top of its head, plus the area that it was discovered showed signs that it was sometimes covered with water, so it probably…”

I blinked as sudden sleepiness encapsulated me. “I mean…it probably lived on the shore of a lake or…maybe a sea. I’m…” My brows furrowed. “Sleepy.”

“Remembering all those dinosaur facts takes a lot of brain power,” Dr. Jae-Eun joked kindly. “Close your eyes if you’re getting sleepy, Ms. Petal. We’ll take care of everything.”

I was asleep before he even finished his sentence.

I woke up, groggy as I looked around. Jin and Taehyung were seated on either side of my hospital gurney, talking amongst themselves, and I blinked drearily as I came to.

“The Monolophosaurus,” I slurred. “No other carnivorous dinosaur had the bony ridge that…” I smacked my lips together tiredly. “That it had.”

“Faeryn?” Taehyung asked while Jin chuckled deeply. “Are you awake?”

“The Monolophosaurus isn’t awake,” I said solemnly. “It went extinct 163.5 million years ago, during the…” My head lulled to the side, and a tired giggle left me. “Callovian Age of the Jurassic period. I love the Jurassic period.” I pointed at Taehyung. “Do you love the Jurassic period?”

“I don’t know much about it,” he revealed as a smile grew on his face at the sound of my giggle. “But if you like it, so do I.”

I beamed. “You’re…you’re the best, Taehyung, just like socks.”

He laughed. “Thank you! Just want I always wanted to be like.”

“Really?” I frowned a bit. “That’s a weird thing to always want to be like.” I looked at him, concerned. “Are you okay?”

He laughed again, only edging on Jin’s amused chuckles.

My frown deepened, and I looked down at the blankets that were tucked up to my chin. “I’m stuck, and Taehyung and Jin are laughing at me.”

“Here, Faeryn.” Jin prodded the blankets down to my chest. “You’re free.”

“Just like a pterodactyl,” I said eagerly. “Maybe I’ll fly away, too.”

He hid a smile. “We’ll miss you.”

I paused, suddenly distraught. “Okay, it’s okay, I won’t fly away so you won’t miss me. I’ll stay right here with you, okay? So don’t worry. Don’t be sad.”

“All right, Faeryn. We won’t be sad.”

I heaved out a great big sigh. “That’s really great.”

“Anesthesia is something else,” Taehyung said with a light laugh. “Remember when Jungkook had to get surgery for his foot after he hurt it on stage?”

Jin chuckled. “He was only slightly more delirious than Faeryn is.”

“The slightly more delirious counts,” Taehyung countered teasingly. “I’m glad we caught it all on camera.”

“I’m not delirious,” I defended myself heatedly. “I’m Faeryn.”

“Mhm,” Jin responded, amused.

I gaped at him, slowly looking from him to Taehyung. “You’re…laughing at me and socks and Monolophosauruses!” My eyes filled with tears. “That’s not nice.”

“Oh, Faeryn, no, no, we’re not laughing at you or Monolophosauruses, I promise,” Taehyung was quick to reassure me. “We just think you’re so cute, and that’s why we’re laughing.”

My bottom lip wobbled. “So you are laughing at me?”

“Oh no, no, we’re not laughing at you, we’re just—we’re smiling too much, so that made us feel like we had to laugh, but not at you. We’re just laughing because we’re so happy to be with you.”

My tears paused, and with a sniffle, I shrugged. “Okay.”

He wiped his mouth to hide his smile. “Okay.”

“How are we doing?” Dr. Ja-Eun asked cheerily as he entered the room.

“Oh hi, Grandpa,” I greeted tearfully. “Jin and Taehyung are not being nice to me and laughing.”

Dr. Jae-Eun laughed. “How dare they laugh at you, huh?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “And I want to go home now.”

“We’ll get you discharged in just a minute,” he revealed. “We’ll prescribe some pain meds first, okay? Does that sound like a plan?”

“It is a plan,” I stated. “So yeah, it does sound like one.” I squinted at him. “Aren’t you a doctor? Doctors are supposed to be smart.”

“Faeryn,” Taehyung nearly gasped, struggling to keep his features aligned when short bursts of laughter left him.

Dr. Jae-Eun laughed heartily. “It’s a figure of speech, Ms. Petal. I didn’t mean it literally.”

“Well, how am I supposed to know that?” I demanded. “I’m literally Autistic; it says so on my chart, so as a doctor, you should know.”

Taehyung gasped for air as laughter wheezed out of him, and Jin put a hand over his mouth to conceal his amusement, but his brows tugged with it, alerting me of it quite plainly.

I gaped at the clear view of disrespect and huffed as I squirmed beneath the blankets in my attempts to go home, but I felt very drowsy, so I thought against leaving the warmth of the blankets and slumped in defeat instead.

“All right,” Dr. Jae-Eun chuckled. “Let’s get this medication prescription so our patient can get some rest.”

I shrugged angrily, only edging on Taehyung’s laughter.

“You’re not nice like socks anymore,” I spat out. “You’re mean, just like the most dangerous dinosaur the Spinosaurus.”

“It was mean because it was dangerous?” Dr. Jae-Eun asked. “What if it was nice?”

“It wasn’t,” I insisted. “I’m Autistic and dinosaurs are my special interest, so I know better than you do.”

“Oh wow,” he responded with a laugh. “No, you’re right. I’m completely clueless about them.”

I sniffled. “Yeah.”

“What’s wrong, Faeryn?” Jin asked me, shifting his forearms onto the top of his knees as he leveled with me. “Deep breaths.”

“Feel sick and tired,” I mumbled. “Of no one knowing about dinosaurs like I do. It’s lonely.”

“Aw,” Dr. Jae-Eun said quieter than before. “That’s what the internet is good for; you can find friends with the same interests as you.”

“You know what the internet is?” I asked dubiously. “But you’re…old.”

“Faeryn,” Jin warned lightly. “Be polite.”

I began to defend myself, saying it was just a question, but at the slight scolding, I started to cry.

“Oh, Faeryn, no, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Taehyung soothed me. “Jin didn’t mean it.”

“She wasn’t being too rude,” Dr. Jae-Eun sided with me. “She was just asking a question.”

“Yeah,” I insisted through my tears. “I was, and I was going to say that, but now my eyes are leaking.”

Dr. Jae-Eun snorted out a laugh. “You’re crying, Ms. Petal.”

I wiped at my eyes, pushing my hands out in front of me to check for tears. “Oh.” I shrugged, annoyed. “Yeah.”

Jin stood to take the note from Dr. Jae-Eun for the prescription, recovery notes, and a follow-up appointment. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Dr. Jae-Eun turned to me. “Rest up, Ms. Petal. It was nice to see you and hear about dinosaur facts today in my OR. My other patients ought to step up their game after you, huh?”

I started to smile a little but then I chose not to. “Okay. Just tell them to.”

He laughed. “Will do, Ms. Petal. Now have a good day.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I muttered as he walked away with a wave.

“Be nice,” Jin instructed, gently easing me out from the blankets. “Stay still while we dress you. Hm? Can you do that?”

I thought about it. “No.”

“Faeryn.”

“We can get Neapolitan ice cream later if you stay still,” Taehyung bribed.

“Oh.” I thought about this again, deciding shortly after, “No.”

“We can get you more crochet supplies for when you feel better and crochet,” he tried again.

I began to cry again. “I can’t crochet anymore because my elbow fell off.”

“No, no, it’s still attached!” Taehyung promised. “The doctor just did surgery on it, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” I whisper-yelled. “That’s a lot!”

“But your elbow is still on,” he reassured me. “Okay? So that’s good.”

“Yeah, I know it’s good!”

Jin sat me up carefully, undoing the tie of the gown as I muttered to myself angrily. My angry mutters halted when I saw my elbow—in a splint.

I stared at it, horrified. “It’s gone, it’s gone, and the splint is there to make me believe that it’s not gone!”

“Faeryn, I need you to relax.” Jin undressed me carefully and skillfully, motioning Taehyung forward to keep me still. “Your elbow is there, we’re going to pick up medication, and then we’re going home where you’ll take a nap and feel better.”

“I won’t feel better,” I cried. “Because I don’t have an elbow anymore. I’m going to die!”

“Even if you lost your elbow,” Taehyung cut in. “You wouldn’t die, okay? So there’s no need to worry!”

I cried harder.

“Okay,” Jin said drily, his eyes drifting over my head to look at Taehyung. “That was unneeded.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung lamented. “I thought it would help.”

“I want Hobi,” I snapped through my tears. “I want him right now.”

“You’ll have your Hobi once we’re home,” Jin responded. “Now be still and let me dress you, am I understood, Faeryn?”

I quieted a little at the curt tone he set with me, sniffling as my tears started to slow. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, Faeryn.”

“You’re mad at me and dinosaurs because I talk about them too much, aren’t you?” Distressed, I wailed, “I knew it!”

“Faeryn, that is not true.” He finished dressing me, shifting me to the edge of the bed to pull my shoes on. “Show me how you can take deep breaths or I will revoke your ice cream privileges.”

I gasped and held my breath, taking a moment to release it. Repeating this, Taehyung praised as he rounded the gurney, “You’re doing a really good job, Faeryn.”

“I know,” I signed snippily.

He smiled brightly. “I love you.”

Just as snippily, I signed, “I love you too.”

“No more words, Faeryn, hm?” Jin prompted as he tied my shoelaces. “Are we done?”

“No,” I signed. “Not done. Still mad.” I pointed at him furiously. “At you.”

“Mhm.” He stood, leaning down to press a long, drawn-out kiss to my lips. Pulling away and leaving me dizzy, he concluded, “That’s fine; I can handle it.”

I toppled back, swooning, and they both steadied before I could fall, chuckling as they sat me up.

“Come on.” Jin lifted me in his arms, keeping pressure off of my splinted elbow. “Let’s go home.”

I looked at the split. “When can I take it off? I want it off.”

I tried to take it off, but he arranged my hands away from it, setting me with a stern look that made me wither slightly and slump in his arms.

“We’ll take it off in a few days,” he said with finality. “No sooner. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” I mumbled.

Taehyung laughed.

I glared. “Are you laughing at me? Again? Well, you shouldn’t. Because you always wanted to be like socks, so I should be laughing”—I pointed at him—“at you.”

“You can laugh at me.” He grinned. “I like hearing you laugh.”

I gaped at him before narrowing my eyes. “That’s really great.”

Jin’s chest rumbled with amusement, and I hit it a few times before nuzzling against it. “Again,” I demanded. “More.”

He chuckled, earning more of the vibrations I asked for, and only slightly content, I rubbed my cheek against his chest to savor the feeling.

“Anesthesia brings out our sweet, mean woman,” he noted lowly, making me shiver. “Very interesting.” With a low hum, he patted my lower back. “Jimin will be pleased to hear this.”

I shivered at his hum’s vibrations, keening as I momentarily forgot how mad I was at him and Taehyung. Once the moment passed, I snapped, “I don’t even care.”

“Forgive me for thinking otherwise,” he drawled.

“I don’t forgive you.”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t! I really mean it, Jin, so don’t be mean and not believe me.”

“Mhm.”

I continued hitting his chest as we arrived at the checkout desk, only stopping when I tired myself out. I rambled some more about dinosaurs to the receptionist and people we passed, and by the time we arrived at the car, I fell asleep.

꧁꧂

 

“How is she?” Jungkook asked in hushed tones. “Is she okay?”

“She didn’t say anything about feeling pain,” Taehyung reassured Jungkook’s worry. “She was talking a lot about dinosaurs.”

“And how angry she was with us,” Jin said drily, his tone laced with amusement.

“Angry?” Jungkook sounded shocked. “Faeryn was angry? What…what does that look like?”

“She was a little upset with you once,” Taehyung said with a light, quiet laugh. “When she thought you were being mean to Yoongi by saying he wasn’t a cute baby.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook said with a sigh, embarrassed. “That doesn’t count. She was just a little upset, not angry.” He paused before accusing, “What did you do?”

“Do? I didn’t do anything,” Taehyung defended laughingly, keeping quiet under the premise of my slumber. “She was under the effects of the sleepy drug.”

“Sleepy drug?” Jungkook whispered his confusion. Then, it clicked, and a quiet groan left him. “Don’t.”

“‘I’m going to break up with Namjoon and sell his stuff to ARMY so I get rich’,” Taehyung quoted teasingly.

“Stop,” Jungkook whined, earning low laughter from everyone else present. “I was under anesthesia’s influence, okay? I wasn’t actually going to do that.”

“Just like Faeryn isn’t actually angry with us,” Taehyung proved his point proudly.

Jungkook muttered, “I’m mad at you now.”

“You’ll be fine,” Taehyung teased.

“Don’t be mean to Jungkook!” I blurted, struggling to lift my exhausted form from Jin’s chest.

Blinking a few times, I pointed at where I thought Taehyung was, slurring, “Don’t do it, you…you sock lover.”

“Sock lover?” Yoongi questioned while Jungkook chimed in proudly, “Yeah, don’t you do it, you sock lover.”

Jin redirected my finger, telling me, “You’re pointing at Namjoon.”

“Oh.” I smacked my lips together a few times. “Who am I pointing at now?” I blinked the sleep out of my eyes furiously as Jin revealed, “Taehyung.”

“Taehyung!” I slurred angrily. “You evil sock lover. Don’t make fun of Jungkook, or I’ll steal all of your socks.” Dipping my voice to make it sound lower, “Do I make myself clear?”

Taehyung burst into laughter just as Namjoon asked laughingly, “Is she mimicking you?”

Jin’s dry tone returned. “One would think so, yes.”

“Think so,” I snapped. “Because it’s true.” I paused and released a tremulous sigh. “Need Hobi.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Of course she does.”

“Sweetheart,” Hoseok soothed. “Do you want to look over here at me? Hm?”

“I want,” I confirmed.

“Okay,” he said softly. “Look over here, right at me.”

I struggled to find where he was, but eventually, I pin-pointed him on the couch, immediately reaching for him. “Hobi!”

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted fondly. “It’s me.”

“She doesn’t hate Hobi,” Jungkook chirped, laughing mischievously at Taehyung.

Taehyung waved him off with a laugh. “Whatever.”

“It’s the constant coddling,” Namjoon added, amused.

“Oh, hush,” Hoseok chided everyone playfully. “Jin, do you want to bring her to me, or should I take her?”

“I can walk, Hoseok, but thank you for your concern,” Jin responded as he carried me to him.

Hoseok chuckled, gingerly accepting me from Jin and cradling me in his arms, being extra careful with my splinted arm.

I looked down at it again. “It’s…gone.”

“What’s gone, sweetheart, hm? Tell Hobi.”

I melted, nuzzling into him and murmuring his name over and over for comfort.

“Oh, now this is just ridiculous,” Namjoon said.

Jimin laughed. “Don’t hate because she prefers to be coddled after a scary surgery. Isn’t that right, honey? You just want your Hobi?”

I nodded fervently, and peeking over at Jimin, I curtly decided, “Jimin, I’m not mad at you.”

“Oh, thank you so much for telling me and not being mad at me, honey. That’s very sweet of you, but you’re always sweet, aren’t you?”

Pleased, I agreed. “Of course I am. That’s why you call me honey.”

“And so smart,” he crooned, making me smile proudly.

“Yeah,” I taunted Taehyung. “So smart.”

“Are you saying I’m not smart?” Taehyung asked. “Because all I wanted to be was a sock?”

“What?” half of the room raised in question, making Jin and Taehyung laugh.

“Yes,” I decided. “I am saying that.”

More laughter ensued, and I glared at everyone before burying myself in Hoseok, forgetting all about relaying the news about my missing elbow.

“I’m sleeping,” I announced. “Don’t be loud; it’s rude.”

“We’ll be really quiet,” Jungkook promised me. “Okay?”

“Fine.”

“Okay,” he confirmed good-naturedly. “Fine.”

“Don’t copy me,” I warned him. “You don’t have echolalia.”

Namjoon laughed. “Faeryn, be nice. He can copy what you say even without echolalia.”

I gasped, the sound half hidden by Hoseok’s sweatshirts. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Stop talking back to me!”

This only edged on everyone’s laughter, and sputtering, I lifted my face to point at everyone individually and demanded, “I’m not talking to you ever again.”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Hoseok reassured me. “They think you’re very cute.”

“Because I am,” I mumbled. “But that doesn’t mean they can laugh at me.”

“Why don’t you tell them to stop?” he prompted. “They’re very good listeners, aren’t they?”

“Really good listeners,” Jungkook chimed in. “So you’re not mad at me, right, Faeryn? Because I’m not laughing.” He paused before adding sheepishly, “Anymore.”

I shook my head. “No. I’m not mad at you because sock lover over here was making fun of you.”

“Sock lover over here,” Jimin repeated, cackling as his and Namjoon’s exchanged glances only made them burst into laughter.

When Yoongi said, “I know what I’m changing Taehyung’s contact name to in my phone”, everyone was sent into another round of laughter, including Hoseok.

I gaped at him, shocked, baffled, and hurt beyond compare.

I tried to get away from him, but he quieted my protests with a few kisses and gentle soothing that I was still his sweetheart and he loved me very, very much. This satiated me enough, especially since I couldn’t move much without dizziness making me fall over, so I settled back into him as I scolded everyone.

“Your precious Hobi was laughing too,” Jin responded, amused.

I gasped and tried to escape from Hoseok again, but when he tightened his hold and everyone kept laughing, I burst into tears, demanding, “Stop being mean to me!”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Hoseok consoled, his laughter halting at the sight of my tears. “We’re sorry, okay? We didn’t mean to be mean by laughing at you, and we’ll stop, won’t we?”

“Of course we will,” Jimin soothed. “We’ll stop laughing, honey. We’re very sorry.”

“So sorry,” Jungkook added with big eyes. “Really sorry, Faeryn.”

I huffed as my tears cascaded down my cheeks. “Whatever.”

“Oh, poor thing,” Hoseok murmured as he gingerly wiped my tears away. “You’re okay, sweetheart. No one will laugh at you anymore, we promise.”

I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and took labored breaths as my tears drained me of energy.

“Poor thing,” Jimin said with a sigh. “We got her all upset. It’s okay, honey, hm? Why don’t you take a little nap with your Hobi; he’s got you nice and safe, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“Good,” Jimin praised. “You’re doing so well answering my questions, hm? Such a sweet girl.”

I keened at the praise, sniffling as my tears reduced. “Of course I am.”

“That’s right,” he crooned. “The sweetest girl in the world. And do you know how you would be even sweeter?”

I blinked as I lifted my face to view him. “How?”

“If you relaxed and took a little nap,” he revealed. “Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Yeah,” I said, determined. “I can be sweeter if I take a nap, then you’ll tell me so, right?”

“Oh, of course I will,” he confirmed, starting to smile. “I’ll always tell you how sweet you are.”

Satisfied, I patted Hoseok’s chest to ready it for my cheek and laid back down. “Okay, well, goodnight then. See you when I’m sweeter.”

Jimin chuckled. “See you then.”

It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep once more.

Notes:

This chapter was so fun to write LMAO Faeryn was LOOOPPYYYYYYY

Justice for Jungkook (and Namjoon's belongings he threatened to sell while under anesthesia's effects) 😔✊

Anyone have plans for Valentine's Day today? I don't! I'm painfully single 🤩 yall, set me up with someone fr I need a good relationship 😩 see you on Tuesday 😜✌️

Chapter 40: Helping the Helpless (Myself)

Summary:

Faeryn recovers from surgery, but she's not doing well mentally. Jimin intervenes, and a talk with all seven of Faeryn's men gets heated.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

“It hurts,” I admitted to Namjoon’s question as he sat beside me at the kitchen table, lifting my spoon to help me eat soup.

“We’ll take medicine after dinner,” he assured me, watching my creased brows intently. “You should feel better afterward.”

From the stove, Jin said, “The pain meds from earlier are wearing off, as is the anesthesia, Faeryn. Your pain will spike, but that’s what the pain meds are for. We can’t overdo it, yes? We take them every six hours.”

“Yes, Jin,” I agreed, opening my mouth to let Namjoon slip the spoon into my mouth. Enjoying the warm soup on my tongue, I let it linger until Namjoon grasped my chin and pulled me to him, instructing, “Swallow.”

I did as I was told with flaming cheeks, dizzy when he rewarded me with a kiss once I had.

“Jin?” I asked once I caught my bearings. “What if I forget to take the meds?”

“I set a reminder on everyone’s phone,” he responded firmly. “There will not be any forgetting.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “I was afraid I would forget and be in pain.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Faeryn.” His tone softened. “We’ll take care of you.”

I beamed and melted simultaneously. “Thank you.”

“Hi,” Jungkook chirped as he entered the kitchen, giggling when Jimin tugged him to his side and ruffled his hair. He brightened when he saw me. “Faeryn. You’re awake!”

“Look at you,” Jimin cooed at me. “Nice and rested, aren’t you, honey?”

I smiled shyly. “Yeah.”

“Did the anesthesia wear off?” Jungkook wondered. When I nodded, he released a breath. “Wow, Faeryn. You wouldn’t believe what happened when it was still affecting you.”

I blinked a few times. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, don’t torture the poor thing with any of that,” Jimin chided playfully. “It was a very tough time for her.”

“What was a tough time?” I asked, concerned. “What happened?”

“Well,” Namjoon explained, his lips twitching at the corners as he fought a smile. “According to you, you lost your elbow.”

I gaped at him. “What? According to me?”

“That’s what you told us at the hospital,” Jin said as he plated dinner. “You were very upset.”

“I said I lost my elbow?” Horrified, I pressed, “What else did I say?”

“That you were mad at all of us,” Jimin teased as he sat beside me.

I clasped my hand over my mouth. “Why would I say that?”

He laughed, kissing my cheek fondly. “It’s okay, honey. We know you didn’t mean it; it’s just the anesthesia’s effects.”

Jungkook shuddered as he sat on the other side of Namjoon. “The sleepy drug.”

“What?” I sputtered, baffled. “It made me say weird things?”

“It’s okay,” Jimin soothed, a hint of teasing in his tone. “We don’t judge.”

Namjoon concluded, “Much.”

I gaped at them, my brows creasing with worry. “Please tell me what I said.”

“Maybe…you don’t want to know,” Jungkook said slowly. “It might embarrass you.”

I squeaked. “Was it that bad?”

Jin chuckled. “Our sweet, mean woman made an appearance.”

Jimin added slyly, “They said most of your mean streak happened at the hospital, meaning I didn’t get to see you in action.” His tongue clicked the roof of his mouth if faux disapproval. “You were even mean to Dr. Jae-Eun.”

My mouth dropped open. “Please tell me that’s not true.” I patted my leg anxiously. “Did anyone tell him I’m sorry?”

Taehyung entered the kitchen, sending a bright smile my way as he caught my question. “He deals with a lot of patients under anesthesia, Faeryn, so don’t worry. He knows you didn’t mean it.”

Feeling slightly better, I showed a small nod. “Well, what…what did I say that was mean?”

“There wasn’t just one thing, poor thing,” Jimin tutted. “You were on a mean streak, like I said.”

Horrified, I swallowed roughly, managing a strained, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t tease her,” Jungkook scolded, showing me an encouraging nod when I looked at him. “It’s okay, Faeryn, really. Everything you said was really funny, even if you might find it embarrassing.”

“It’s true,” Jimin confirmed with a chuckle. “I’m just teasing you, honey. You were as sweet as always, but as I promised you before you fell asleep, you’re even sweeter for taking a nap.”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

Namjoon chuckled. “The praise was the only thing that stopped your mean streak.”

I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed.

Namjoon continued, “Jimin promised to praise you, telling you how sweet you were for taking a nap when you woke up.”

“Oh no,” I mumbled, humiliated. “No, no, no.”

“It’s like the after-effects of a drunk night out,” Jimin teased fondly, rubbing my arm and offering gentle squeezes. “It’s okay, baby, shh, don’t make yourself sick with worry about what you said. It was all cute just like you.”

I slowly peeked at him through my fingers. “You didn’t record any of it…right?”

“I told them not to,” Jungkook declared proudly. “Because they recorded me when I was on anesthesia, and thanks to them, I’ll never live it down.”

“‘I’m going to break up with Namjoon and sell his stuff to ARMY so I get rich’,” everyone present quoted, sharing exchanges full of laughter as Jungkook glared at them.

“Please don’t bring up things I said,” I pleaded. “I couldn’t take it.”

“Oh, poor baby,” Jimin sympathized. “We won’t, honey, I promise. We’ll leave it alone.”

I looked to the others for agreement, receiving it readily.

Relieved, I slumped in my seat, shuddering with the aftereffects of my intense worry and embarrassment.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jungkook promised me with his big eyes. “I promise, Faeryn, really.”

“It’s the rumination,” Namjoon decided, my glum nod confirming his words. “Embarrassment is a sure way to provoke it.”

“And I don’t want to ruminate,” I revealed in a light whine. “It’s so frustrating and exhausting, and once I start, there’s no way I can stop.”

“We’ll work on that.” Namjoon rubbed my back. “All right? We’ll find a way to lessen that burden.”

I looked up at him gratefully. “Thank you.”

“Mm.” He kissed my forehead. “No need to thank me.”

“Thank you anyway,” I said.

He kissed my lips next. “Mhm.”

Yoongi entered the kitchen, saw me, and smiled. “Hello.”

I waved, cringing when I thought I might’ve been rude to him under the influence of anesthesia. “Whatever I said,” I offered. “I’m really sorry.

He understood and shook his head. “You didn’t say anything embarrassing.”

I paused. “I didn’t?”

“It was all cute and funny. Just another reason to smile.”

My wince was traded for a tentative smile. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I will only tell you the truth.”

“I know,” I murmured, looking at him adoringly. “Thank you.”

“Dinner,” Jin announced.

Jungkook hopped up to help plate the food, and as we all sat around the table, Hoseok arrived soon after with his kind smile and a kiss on my forehead, inquiring how I felt.

I took medicine afterward, and it slowly helped. After dinner—and after everyone was informed to never bring up my anesthesia mean streak again—I insisted that I could sleep on my own after a movie night.

They were hesitant to let me sleep on my own, gently coaxing me to sleep with one of them so they could keep an eye on my pain, but I refused, wanting to do it on my own. I knew I would need to get used to it once I went back to my apartment, as much as I wanted to stay with them.

They respected my wishes, and after a movie, they helped me into bed, all seven of them, making sure I had everything I needed—plus a plethora of extra kisses.

Once alone, the pain meds made it impossible to stay awake, and I fell asleep shortly after they left with promises to see me in the morning.

꧁꧂

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, shivering uncontrollably as the nightmare revolving around Ryker clung to me with its relentless grip. I was alone as I’d been when I fell asleep, and I was alone now, but I didn’t have to be.

I didn’t have to be.

Pain coursed through me, the pain medication wearing off, and gritting my teeth, I stumbled across my room to the door. Opening it, I entered the hallway, trying my best to make it to the end.

Blinking rapidly as I struggled to get used to the dark lighting, I arrived at my destination, knocking as best as I could with my hands shaking with pained adrenaline.

“Yes?” came from behind the door.

My breath hitched, and I tried to knock again, but my knuckles slipped. “Hobi?”

He swiftly approached his door, opening it to reveal me.

He was quick, leaning down to search my features, and coming to a conclusion, he gingerly lifted me into his arms and closed the door behind us as he carried me inside.

“I’m here now, sweetheart, and we’re going to take some pain medication, all right?” He carefully set me on his bed. “I have a couple pills in here.”

“How?” I stammered.

“We all wanted to have a few just in case you needed one of us in the middle of the night,” he said softly. Lifting an unopened bottle of water from his bedside table and a few pills, he placed them in my palm. “Take them with some water, okay? They’ll make you better.”

“Okay.” I sniffled. “I will.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, holding the water bottle to my lips. “Little sips.”

I did as he said, swallowing the pills and taking a few extra sips to properly wash them down. Once I had, Hoseok set the water bottle back in its place and carefully resituated me in his arms, pulling the blankets over us as he sat with me between his legs against the headboard.

When I tried to get closer to him, he changed our positioning and seated me sideways on his lap, letting my cheek rest against his chest as he caressed my hair.

“Bad dream?” he asked, keeping his tone quiet and soothing.

I clutched his shirt as I nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I hesitated, unsure. “It was…scary.”

He pressed me closer to him, shifting his hand from my head to caress my side reassuringly, offering light pats every so often. “Just remember that you’re safe now.”

My throat tightened with feeling, and I choked out a warbled agreement that earned another soft kiss from him.

Finding the courage to continue, I revealed, “It was dark, and…Ryker was there. On the escalators. And…he made me keep going on them because he said it was childish to be scared of them, and he had Mr. Stuffins, and he said he wouldn’t give him back until I stopped being scared.” I sniffled. “But I couldn’t stop being scared, so he put Mr. Stuffins in the escalator and made me watch him get torn apart at the top of it.”

His hold on me tightened.

“I couldn’t save him,” I whispered.

“Mr. Stuffins is safe in your room,” he returned, subdued and firm. “Ryker doesn’t have him, he wasn’t torn apart by the escalator, and he’s been all cleaned up and smells nice again, doesn’t he? Nothing like Ryker.”

I nodded quickly. “Yeah, he smells nice because of you.”

He kissed my nose. “Mr. Stuffins is safe, and so are you.”

“And…Hoseok?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I…I know that I watch cartoons a lot and that having a stuffed bear named Mr. Stuffins is probably childish, but…I’m a woman, okay? Even if I don’t really wear makeup a lot, and even if…maybe my voice sounds a little high-pitched, and I can’t wear form-fitting clothes because of sensory issues, I’m still a woman.” Unsure, I added, “Right?”

“Of course you are,” he confirmed assiduously. Caressing my hair in silence for a moment while I clutched his shirt for comfort, he spoke, “I think we’re all children at heart. In hindsight, even someone who lives to be one hundred years old is young when the earth is so old. Our exterior shows how we’ve grown, but we’re all still children and always learning. Who’s to say we can’t enjoy what we did as children? If cartoons and stuffed animals make you happy, they make you happy. There’s no fault in finding joy in the same things you did as a child. If anything, it makes them more precious since they’ve been with you since you were young.”

He rubbed my arm reassuringly. “You were born a girl, and you choose to continue identifying as a woman, so yes, Faeryn; you’re a woman. You don’t need to do a certain thing to be one, whether it’s makeup, a certain type of clothing, or interests. You’re a woman, and nothing anyone can say will change that.”

I took a moment to process before stating worriedly, “Ryker always said that I was childish for liking cartoons and having stuffed animals.”

“He’s void of joy and has made it his duty to steal it from other people,” he returned gravely. “There are cartoons made for children, but there’s no rule saying they can’t be enjoyed by all ages. Cartoons, after all, are created by adults. I’m sure they enjoy watching their work, too.”

“And stuffed animals?”

“They have no age limit, Faeryn. It’s the same for video games, how some people say it’s only for teenage boys or how women get flack for playing them—men stating they’ll never be as good at it as they are. There will always be harmful stereotypes; we just have to learn not to succumb to them.

“Women are not defined by what they wear, and adults are not defined by how ‘adult’ they are. We’re defined by our morals, our character, our sincerity and kindness, and how we treat ourselves and the world around us.”

I teared up. “Do…do you think Ryker adulted the wrong way?”

“I think he grew up the wrong way,” he said solemnly. “And that was his choice. No matter what he went through to steer him to the path he took, it was his choice. We always have a choice. He called you childish and immature, but he was projecting. Hurting others because we can’t stand the hurt we feel is incredibly immature, and he reeked of it.”

“And it’s…not childish that I liked cartoons and have stuffed animals?” I tried. “I’m still a woman?”

“Of course you’re still a woman.” He hugged me to him. “Of course you are.”

I nodded slowly as I digested this information. “I…I hope that I can feel like a woman someday. I just…I see other women with their pretty clothes and pretty makeup, and they look so much more…grown up than I do. I don’t…” I cringed. “I don’t know how to explain it, but the woman I am isn’t as much of a woman as they are.”

“You’ve been ostracized your entire life, gaslighted into believing you’re less than a person and a woman because you’re Autistic, but that just isn’t true.” He looked down at me, studying my twitching brow as I took in his words. “You might feel different because you’re Autistic and experience life differently, but that doesn’t make you any less of a person—or any less than a woman.

“You’re Faeryn, and she is beautiful, kind, sweet, strong, loving, and the most incredible woman I have ever known and will ever know. You’re our woman, sweetheart. Nothing can change that, no matter how you feel about yourself, you will always be ours, and we will always be yours.”

I hugged him fiercely, my chest heaving with feeling as he held me to him.

“Thank you,” I choked out. “I really—I struggle with that a lot. Not feeling like a woman, but you…you all make me feel so beautiful, and I want to always feel like that. Beautiful like a woman.”

“You are,” he said firmly. “And you’ll feel it, Faeryn, I promise. One day, you’ll feel the truth of it so intensely that you’ll wonder how it was possible to ever doubt it.”

“I hope so,” I stammered. “I really want that. So much.”

“And you’ll have it. You will.” He kissed my forehead repeatedly. “No nightmares or cruel words can change that.”

I buried my face in his chest and regained the breath his words stole. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much, sweetheart.” He held the back of my head, offering the base of my neck a squeeze. “So very, very much.”

“Thank you for making me feel better,” I managed as I wiped my tears. “From my bad dream and for…for liking cartoons and stuffed animals even though I’m an adult. And woman,” I added carefully, unsure of the title even though I wanted it to be true so badly.

“A woman,” he confirmed.

I threw my arms around his neck and clung to him. “Best.”

“Best?”

“You’re the best.” Nosing against his cheek, I pulled away to kiss it fervently. “My Hobi.”

He turned to catch my lips in his, murmuring into it, “My Faeryn.” Rubbing my back once we pulled away, he asked, “How is your pain?”

“A little better,” I responded after tuning into my body.

“The medicine will help take more of it away soon,” he assured me softly. “We’ll give it some time.”

“Can…” I chewed on my lip. “Can we watch Camp Cretaceous?”

“Of course we can.” He grabbed the remote from his bedside table. “We can do whatever you’d like.”

Grateful, I kissed his chest. “Thank you.”

He kissed me back in response, switching the TV on to Netflix in the process. “Here we go,” he concluded once the show turned on. “Let’s get you nice and comfortable to watch your favorite show, hm?”

Retrieving a fluffy blanket, one of my favorite that he owned, he lowered our current blankets to wrap it around me, then pulled the other blankets back around me. I preened, warm and comfortable.

“Hobi,” I murmured fervently. “Thank you.”

His hand warmed my back. “Thank you for trusting me to open up about things you were confused and scared about. It means a lot to me.”

“Thank you for talking with me about them,” I returned as I snuggled up to him. “It made me feel better, and…I hope I’ll feel like a woman soon, just like you said.”

“You will, sweetheart, I promise.”

I nodded, causing his shirt to rise and fall with the movement. “Okay, Hobi. Love you.”

“I love you.” He squeezed my hip. “Our beautiful woman.”

I keened, kissing his chest absently before turning to view the TV. I fell asleep somewhere along the line, the pain of questioning my womanhood and nightmares fading away as Hoseok kept me safe in his arms.

The next few days were difficult, full of pain, meds, and doing nothing but staying home alone. The guys would go to work, call me hourly—more if the pain had been exceptionally bad—and come home with Chinese take-out every night because it was my favorite and made me smile.

Jin prepared breakfast, lunch, and snacks every night so it would be easier for me to eat them, and he set me up on the couch so I would be closer to the kitchen.

It was boring and lonely, giving me time to ruminate about current happenings with Ryker and Kenley as I sat on the couch all day, too in pain to move around much.

I was usually in tears or close to them when the guys came home, just needing to be held due to the pain from rumination and my elbow, and one of them never failed to pull me into their arms and murmur comfort into my ear while the Chinese food was plated. Then I would eat, show a teary smile, and start to feel better.

They wanted to stay with me, taking turns on who would go to work, but I refused, knowing this time was crucial for their comeback, so I assured them I would be fine even if I felt the complete opposite. I think they knew, but they respected my wishes, doing whatever I asked of them.

After two weeks of this, I was emotionally exhausted, but I was relieved to return to the doctor to remove my stitches. Physical therapy followed, as did another two weeks. The pain decreased, I grew accustomed to staying at home instead of at my apartment, and I could move around again now that the pain wasn’t debilitating.

Since I couldn’t crochet during the healing process, Jungkook took it upon himself to teach me how to sketch. It was a reprieve from the boredom of being home alone, and even though I wasn’t very good, it was fun. They bought coloring books for me when they saw how much I enjoyed sketching, and I spent hours coloring with expensive markers, sometimes taking blank pieces of paper to just swipe the markers on.

And when the guys returned from work each day, they would take me out to ensure I had enough fresh air, letting me choose wherever we went. I didn’t dare return anywhere near the shop Ryker had been in. I couldn’t brave it or the escalator that continued haunting my nightmares, so I stayed far away, opting for the other side of town. I was sure the guys knew my reasoning for this, but they never spoke on it, readily taking me wherever I wanted to go, even if it was out of the way.

Physical therapy sessions passed, my splint was long gone, I was back to work, and I had much more movement without pain than I had for a long time. And I had known my seven men for a year. They surprised me with a weekend at the beach we went to when Ryker began threatening me over text, and we had dinner on the beach, even if it was cold. It was a relief to be at the beach again, and Yoongi smiled almost the entire time. So did I.

Lyric was elated to have me back at work, and Jaehyun greeted me with a grin and a thumbs-up.

It was strange not to have an echo of pain whenever I moved my wrist or elbow, but it was a good strange. One I never wanted to go away.

Still, although the pain had faded to nearly nothing, my sadness didn’t. It was always there, nagging and reminding me of why it wouldn’t leave; the possibility of Ryker appearing, if Kenley was suffering because of him, missing my grandparents and parents, and living back at my apartment once I healed.

Days passed, and although I was healed, I didn’t feel like it. My smile began to dim. My laughter and giggles decreased until they became a rarity, and even though I could crochet again, I had no interest to.

The last week of November, Jimin found me in the backyard, my hands buried in the snow in an attempt to feel anything but the pain of unrelenting memories.

He carefully eased my hands out of the snow, took note of how red they were, and clasped them in his, rubbing warmth into them as neither of us spoke.

The sun had already set; I knew it was time for dinner, and yet, I had no appetite. I wasn’t sure when I had eaten last if I had at all that day.

Snow fell around us, stinging my red cheeks, but I enjoyed the sting. It was a welcome distraction from the usual sting of tears.

“Honey.”

I glanced at him.

He blew warm air onto my hands before continuing to rub them. With his eyes on his endeavors, he prompted, “Talk to me.”

I looked up at the sky. “I don’t really want to talk.”

“You need to, Faeryn.”

I turned back to him, taken aback at the direct command and full name addressal.

He met my gaze, his features set and serious. “You’re sitting here in the snow when warmth is waiting for you inside. What are you feeling that you want the cold to drown out?”

I tried to look away, but he cupped my cheeks, keeping my eyes on him.

“Don’t hide away.” His tone was firm. Decisive. Unrelenting. “Don’t give whatever you’re scared of that kind of control. The control to hide you, your feelings, and the intensively beautiful woman that you are.”

“A woman,” I said quietly, gutted.

“You are,” he said reputedly. “You’re a woman.”

Snowflakes landed on my eyelashes, and every time I blinked, they melted, appearing like tears as they cascaded down my cheeks.

“Jimin,” I whispered.

“Talk to me.”

“Why do I keep feeling like this? I…I talk about it with some of you sometimes, and each time, I feel a little better, but I can never shake the feeling that I don’t belong. That I’m not a person or a woman. I’m just…Faeryn.” I dug my fingernails in my palms. “And I don’t know who that is.”

“Faeryn,” he responded, “likes to crochet.”

I sniffled and glanced at him. “What?”

“Faeryn likes to read, cook, paint and color, journal, her strawberry cup, Chinese take-out, socks, her safe smell of vanilla, and being home. Here,” he reinstated firmly. “With us, where she feels safe enough to like what she likes and be who she is, even if she doesn’t always feel like a person or woman. Here, where she feels safe enough to try and talk about it if she doesn’t.”

I choked up, and my tears joined the snowflakes. “I don’t want to think about bad things that happened to me anymore.” I took a gasp for air as the cold stung my lungs. “Since I was little, there’s always been bad. Bullies for classmates and bullies for teachers, but my family was so kind that they made it hurt less, and my mother was an angel. I—I wanted to be a woman, just like her and my grandmother.

“And someday,” I added tearfully, “I wanted to be someone who made me feel safe like my father and grandfather made me feel—like my mother and grandmother made me feel safe. Like they all made me feel loved. And…and I know you and everyone inside all love me differently; it’s romantic, but it’s still love, and I…I found it again when I thought I never would. When I—”

I turned away desperately trying to keep the tears contained. “When I was with Ryker.”

“I know,” he murmured, pained. “I know.”

“I already felt like an alien,” I revealed after some difficulty. “But when I was with Ryker, he made me feel even more isolated and alone and sad than I already was. I just—I don’t know how I can be happy if I’m still so scared of him appearing, or how I can move on knowing he’s hurting Kenley.”

He exhaled deeply. “I know.”

My brows furrowed. “You know?”

“I know it’s been eating at you.” He dipped his chin. “You’re been isolating yourself, and when you’re with us, you’re not. Not really. You’re always thinking of something else.”

“I’m…I’m sorry.”

“The only person who needs to apologize is Ryker,” he refuted my words gravely. “And even if he did, he wouldn’t mean it. I think we both know that.”

I nodded glumly. “I…I keep having nightmares about him and the escalator, tearing Mr. Stuffins apart. He puts Mr. Stuffins at the very end of the escalator, lifting him up as if he’s going to save him, but he lets the escalator tear him apart anyway.” My features twisted. “And then it’s my turn.”

His features fell before they filled with anger. Shaking his head, he ran a hand over his face, struggling to remain calm.

Eventually, he turned to me, irate but somehow keeping his tone soft towards me. “What do you want to do?”

Flustered, I stammered incoherently before concluding, “I don’t know. It’s…it’s just…” I shook my head, and finally, the truth revealed itself. “I need to know that Kenley’s okay.”

He nodded slowly, digesting my words as if he’d already tasted them before. “Okay,” he confirmed. “We’ll go see her.”

Surprised, I managed, “What?”

“If you want to go see her, we will. Whatever it takes to help you heal, we’ll do it. Okay? Anything.”

“It’s not for me,” I said quietly as a neglected rage burned within. “It’s to keep her safe.”

“That’s not your responsibility.”

“And I wasn’t yours.”

“You never were,” he refuted with knitted brows. “You were Faeryn.”

I swallowed. “What am I now?”

“The woman I love.” His jaw clicked. “The woman we love. You weren’t a project or someone to spend our money on because we didn’t know what else to spend it on, and you weren’t a responsibility. You were a woman we wanted to help and ended up falling in love with; you were and are and always will be Faeryn.”

The tears fell again, and I covered my cold face with my cold hands. “Kenley,” I whispered, strained, “is a woman I want to help. She might not feel like a woman or person, too. She might feel like the only person who could ever love her outside of her family is Ryker just like I did, and I can’t let her get hurt like that, not when I know how cruel Ryker is. If I can do anything with what he did to me, even if it’s speaking the truth about it, I have to try.”

I took a deep breath that only made me cough, and Jimin pulled me to him, lifting me to my feet as he stood.

“Whatever you’re feeling,” he told my tired features. “The cold won’t cure it; it’ll only numb it. And I don’t think you need any more band-aids for this problem. I think we need to find the root of the bleeding. Without it,” he continued as he cupped my cheek, “we can’t stop the bleeding.”

I nodded tearfully, starting to cry in earnest. “Just want it all to stop.”

Clasping the back of my neck, he brought my face to his chest, letting me feel the warmth of his form. “We’ll end it. I promise you, Faeryn. We’ll end it.”

“Okay,” I whispered, wanting nothing more. “Okay.”

꧁꧂

 

“Kenley might not want help,” Hoseok said with furrowed brows in the living room after ensuring I had a cup of hot chocolate and an abundance of blankets. “The sudden scare of us appearing might make her revert further into Ryker.”

“How?” Jimin questioned heatedly. “If we’re there to help her, how would that be possible?”

“She’s used to Ryker, and if he’s causing pain, at least she knows what to expect. But with us,” Hoseok explained grimly. “She doesn’t know if we’ll cause pain. Because of that, she might fall deeper into Ryker because a pattern of abuse is still a pattern, and patterns can be comforting because at least you know what to expect.”

I whispered my agreement, “At least she knows where to turn so he hits somewhere different that won’t hurt as bad, but she’ll know to cry harder as if it does so he’ll keep hitting that spot.”

Silence fell upon the room, and I looked down at my hot chocolate with a wince.

Hoseok exhaled shakily. “I think we need to talk about this before anyone goes to see Kenley.”

“He’s right,” Namjoon attested gravely. “She has a support system, and right now, Faeryn, visiting her and hearing about what Ryker did to her isn’t good for your health. We already spoke to her about what Ryker did and how she isn’t safe; it’s up to her to believe us and leave him, not you.”

“But what about her health?” I persisted, high-pitched and warbled. “If she’s being hurt, then maybe she won’t have much longer.”

“Faeryn?” Jungkook’s shock was quiet but viable. “You…what do you mean she won’t have much longer?”

“Nothing,” I refuted. “Nothing. Let’s…let’s just forget about it.”

“No, we will not just forget about it,” Jin refuted almost harshly, causing my eyes to widen. “Faeryn Petal, what did you mean just now?”

My lips parted in shock at the sternness encapsulating his tone and features, and out of pure nerves, I stammered, “She might hurt herself.”

His eyes narrowed into slits. “How?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted anxiously. “I just—well, when I was with Ryker, I thought if I hurt myself enough, he wouldn’t have any more places to hurt, so he would stop. He…” My head spun with horrible memories. “He didn’t stop, and I don’t know if Kenley will do that, but I…I don’t want it to get to that point.”

He went very still. And very quiet.

Namjoon studied his features quickly, and whatever he noted was enough for him to reign his own anger in enough to take over the conversation.

“What Jin is trying to say,” Namjoon began rigidly. “Is that hearing about what Ryker did to Kenley will set you up to be re-traumatized, and it’s not a necessity as of now. She knows what Ryker did to you, saw how afraid you were of him, and has her family to support her if she chooses to leave. Whether or not she chooses to is her decision, not yours, and no matter how much of your story you tell her, it’s up to her to believe it, and it’s not your responsibility to make her believe it.”

“But it’s my responsibility to tell my story about what he did to me,” I insisted.

“No, it’s not,” he negated firmly. “Your only responsibility is to yourself. To healing.”

“No,” I rejected. “No.”

“Faeryn.”

“No!” I denied. “I couldn’t protect myself, so I—I have to protect her.” My chest heaved. “I can’t let it happen all over again. I can’t.” I shook my head. I couldn’t stop. “I can’t let him do it again.”

“You can’t stop him from hurting her,” Namjoon ground out, struggling to keep his calm, “if she doesn’t want your help.”

“How will I know if I don’t ask her?” I demanded. “I have to know.”

“Why?” he pressed. “Why do you have to know, Faeryn? Who will it make feel better; her or you?”

I stared at him, barely breathing. Chest heaving. Snow falling. Fireplace crackling. “I need to see her.”

“Answer,” he instructed, “my question.”

“Jimin said we could go see her,” I insisted wildly. “He said.”

“Jimin doesn’t have the final say,” Namjoon said sharply. “We make decisions together and not in the heat of the moment.”

I struggled to come up with an argument fretfully until I finally blurted, “You keep saying it’s Kenley’s choice if she stays with Ryker and that no one can change her mind if it’s made up.”

He dipped his chin to convey his agreement, watching me intently to see where my words were going.

“My mind,” I said as my breath hitched, “is made up, and it won’t change. Yoongi’s said it before, and Hoseok has, too. If someone isn’t ready for the situation to end, it won’t end. This won’t end until I see her and tell her what he did to me, even if she doesn’t believe me because at least I know I tried.” My voice broke. “I would’ve wanted someone to do it for me.”

His features tensed as a deep sadness filled them, and he shook his head as his lips set into a straight line.

“Hyung,” Jungkook spoke up, quiet but determined as he looked from me to Namjoon. “She has to.”

Namjoon tugged his fingers through his own hair, frustrated. “Jungkook.”

“And we have to go with her,” Jungkook continued at full force. “If we don’t, she’ll still go anyway. She’ll find a way back just like she found a way out, so shouldn’t we be there with her?”

Yoongi nodded slowly. “We will go with her.” His eyes locked with mine. “It’s closure in a way, and she deserves it. With him around, there might never be complete closure, but knowing she tried to protect another one of his victims might help.”

“We’re going off of might?” Namjoon pressed, agitated. “We’re talking about her mental health.”

“And we’re talking about Kenley’s safety,” I snapped.

“We’re talking about a pitiful excuse of a man who made you afraid enough to believe hurting yourself would free you from pain,” he said through his teeth. “And you think hearing about what he did to Kenley is going to improve your mental health?”

“I’m not thinking about myself,” I shot back. “I can think about myself later, but what if Kenley doesn’t have a later because I didn’t try and help?”

“Faeryn,” he ground out, a clear warning.

“I need to help her,” I nearly shouted. “I keep thinking about how every cruel thing he says is hidden with words so sweet that they sting, and she doesn’t know what else to do to ease the sting other than to swallow it in an attempt to digest it. But she can’t because I couldn’t—I know that. It just sits and sits until you feel heavy in your stomach like you did something wrong to deserve the cruelty you’re not even sure of because it was hidden so well.

“There are things,” I continued shakily. “That you don’t know he did to me, but I know she will. She’ll know because by now, he’s probably done them to her, and I—I need to explain what I’ve learned as an Autistic he’s abused because as much as you told her that he did to me, you’re not Autistic, and you can’t voice her pain like I can, even if we experience his abuse differently and are on different places on the spectrum. I need her to know that she’s not crazy for thinking his sweet remarks are just cruelty in disguise.

“You don’t get it,” I pressed on at full speed, barely breathing. “Because you’re not Autistic, and you weren’t abused, but I am, and I was, so I need to show her there’s another side while telling her I know what he’s done and how confusing and scary it is when no one else understands. But I understand, and I have to tell her that I do.” I gestured to my elbow. “I have to show her.”

Torn; that’s what Namjoon was. Torn. I could see it in his movements, in every twitch of his brow and fingers. How he looked pain and angry and sad all at once.

He looked at Jin for support, and the latter’s fiery gaze met his. They dipped their chins simultaneously, their anger speaking volumes and enveloping the room, making the air nearly impossible to swallow.

“We’ll go,” Namjoon rasped. “If she still lives at our old apartment, we’ll talk to her.”

Taehyung’s voice was strained. “And if Ryker is there?”

“Faeryn will stay in the car until we bring Kenley outside,” Namjoon said curtly. “If Kenley refuses, then we leave. It ends there.”

I struggled with the concept, but eventually, I managed, “Fine.”

“Fine,” he ground out.

Tears fought their way to the forefront, vying to win the war against me. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” I managed before concluding, “Like you’re mad at me. Not right—please, not right now.”

His features shifted, and rigidly, he shook his head. “I’m not mad at you, Faeryn. I’m upset at the situation and how you’re persistent in seeing Kenley, something that will most likely cause you pain in the end, but I’m furious at Ryker for making you feel so intensely hopeless. I want to protect you, and seeing Kenley doesn’t sound safe, and—” His forearms rippled as he clasped his hands together tightly. “And I’m very angry, Faeryn.”

My throat tightened. “I’m…me too. At Ryker. But that’s why I have to talk to Kenley. I’m angry and afraid enough to…I don’t know. To try and help.”

“I know,” he rasped, rubbing his temples to ease the strain of anger he felt. “I know, Faeryn. And it’s brave and extremely kind, but I already know that’s the kind of person you are. The kind of woman. I’m angry at Ryker and others for taking advantage of your kindness, and I’m angry at the prospect of speaking about what he did to you to someone who won’t believe you, which could cause more pain to heal from.”

His forehead creased. “You’ve been through enough pain, Faeryn. I want you to heal.”

I choked up. “Me too.”

His features twisted at the sight of my tears spilling over. “Baby.”

“Joon,” I stammered.

“Come here.” He motioned me forward, reaching his hand out and beginning to stand in case he needed to walk to me. “Come with me.”

I neglected the warm blankets, hot chocolate, and fire for the sheer warmth exuding Namjoon, burying myself in him as he held me close, his grip tight, relenting, and still gentle. Just like him.

“We’ll figure it out,” he spoke coarsely. “And we will keep you safe throughout it, I promise. So do what you have to do, Faeryn. There’s seven of us and one of him.”

I clung to him as my tears flooded my senses, sobbing quietly into his shoulder.

He clasped the back of my neck. “We’ll end this.”

I nodded as best as I could, voicing hopefully, “I hope we will.”

“Know we will,” he corrected. “Because we will, Faeryn. There’s no world where we won’t keep our word.”

I hugged him tightly in response, unwilling to let him go as my mind whirred with ways telling my story to Kenley could go and hoping the best outcome was how it would happen.

Notes:

A lot of Autistics automatically get infantilized by others for how they speak, act, or things they enjoy that others deem "childish" or "nerdy". For those stating that people who like cartoons, anime, stuffed animals, video games, or even *coloring* are infantilizing themselves and/or being childish, I need them to research and educate themselves because they are hurting and belittling people by perpetuating a harmful stereotype (as all stereotypes are harmful). It's 2025, can we pls stop with the stereotypes oh my godddd

anyway 😜✌️ I hope you're all doing good. Thank you for coming to my short ass TED talk. See you next week for some 🎵 DRAMMMAAAAAAA 🎵

Chapter 41: Helping Kenley

Summary:

Faeryn tries to warn Kenley about Ryker.

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Morning came, and anxiety came with it, but so did a sense of finality tickled with urgency.

I was back at the old apartment I shared with Ryker, above that small cafe where I cried when he kicked me out. It felt so far away, but the wound still felt fresh, and I was staring at the blade that caused it.

Namjoon and Jin left the car after ensuring I was positive about moving forward with this, leaving me safely tucked between Hoseok and Jimin in the back. The others stayed home, hoping only five of us wouldn’t overwhelm Kenley.

Seeing Jin and Namjoon knock on my old apartment’s door was surreal, and a sharp pain blossomed in my chest. Hoseok took it upon myself to keep a firm grip of my thigh, rubbing caressing circles into it as Jimin gripped my knee as if he didn’t, he would leave the car in search of Ryker.

I tried to continue watching the apartment door, but I couldn’t, afraid Ryker would open it.

“She’s here,” Hoseok spoke, strained.

I looked back up to see a woman my age with reddish orange hair dressed in bunny pajamas looking back at Jin and Namjoon. It was Kenley; I recognized her from the shop. Her lips were moving, alerting me she was conversing with them, and after a minute, she glanced at our car.

Startled, I jolted in place, blinking rapidly as if she could see me through the tinted windows.

Namjoon seemed to be taking control of most of the conversation, but Jin had input from either curt nods or simple verbal additions.

With another glance at our car, Kenley processed whatever information Namjoon and Jin relayed, taking her time as she fiddles with her fingers and pajama sleeves. Eventually, she stepped back inside and closed the door.

“Where is she going?” I breathed out worriedly. “Did she say no?”

As if Jin could hear my question, he pivoted and signed, “She’s changing. Returning soon.”

Relief mingled with my worry, and the news swept over me harshly enough to take my air with it.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” Hoseok instructed, concern edging his features as anger lined them. “You’re safe, and we’re right here to keep it that way.”

I nodded, but when I shuddered, he pressed my face into his chest to let me hide and catch my breath.

I knew what I wanted to say to Kenley, but I was afraid once we were face-to-face, my words would vanish or they would leave me in incoherent stammers. I wanted to help her, but how could I help her if I suddenly had a verbal shutdown? Reminding myself to breathe to stave off the possibility, I clutched Hoseok’s shirt for solace during the process.

I was strong, I was brave, and I could do this.

Kenley reappeared in 10 minutes dressed in outdoor clothing, her chest heaving quicker than it had been before. With a curt nod to answer Namjoon’s question, the latter turned and walked forward. Jin fell in line with him, and Kenley remained behind them.

It must have been at her request to remain behind them because she looked more comfortable in the current positioning, and once at the bottom of the stairs near the cafe, she took a deep breath and hesitated.

Jin heard her faltered steps and pivoted just enough to keep her in his gaze, lifting a questioning brow. His intimidating effect worked whether he wanted it to or not, and she withered slightly. Namjoon took the reigns, his body language and expression soothing, and after a moment, she exhaled deeply, nodded, and resumed walking.

She remained outside of the car as Namjoon approached it, opening the back door to reveal Hoseok, Jimin, and me. He looked at me first, dipping his chin to confirm Kenley’s agreement to talk.

My chest tightened, but I pushed through it, knowing the most important thing was to warn Kenley about who Ryker truly was.

Namjoon held his hand out to me, and I took it, allowing him to help me out of the car. By his side, I pressed deeply into him, gripping his hand for solace. As soon as Kenley saw me, her eyes widened slightly, tracking every movement of mine that she could. Her eyes flitted across me quickly, noting my expression, body language, and where my hand was safely clasped in Namjoon’s.

I swallowed roughly, my eyes almost matching the same nervous wideness as hers did. Neither of us greeted each other or spoke, and gently, Namjoon coaxed, “How about we go inside the cafe and talk?”

“It’s too loud,” Kenley said, just as I said, “It’s too bright.”

We blinked at each other before looking away immediately.

“Where do we want to take this conversation?” Namjoon prompted. “Hm? We can go anywhere the two of you would like.”

Kenley gripped her handbag tightly. “I thought the place of conversation would have been decided already.”

My cheeks burned crimson. “I’m sorry. I…I thought we could talk in the car, but maybe you would feel trapped, and then I thought we could go to the park, but I wasn’t sure if you would be too cold, and then I thought we could just stand and talk, but maybe that’s not a good idea.”

She mulled over the options. “We can go to the library.”

“Oh,” I breathed out with a quick nod. “Okay. Thank you; that’s a really great idea.”

She shrugged. “I guess.” She winced. “I mean, thank you.”

“Oh! It’s…yeah, it’s okay.” I gestured toward the library within walking distance. “Do you want to walk?”

“I guess. Yeah, I mean, we can walk.”

I nodded and took a tentative step forward, sighing with relief when Jimin took my free hand and kept me safely between him and Namjoon. Kenley caught the sound and turned to find the cause for it, turning red when she realized what had caused it.

“You’re close with them,” she blurted.

I blinked. “Yeah.”

“They came and got your things that time.”

“Yeah.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “Your bear.”

“Mr. Stuffins,” I confirmed, slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah. I have the navy bunny from Jellycat, you know, where you got your bear. Um, Mr. Stuffins.”

“I have the cream bunny,” I revealed as we all continued walking to the cafe. “Mm…the huge one.”

“Mine is the huge one, too. It’s just better,” she said matter-of-factly. “Not too big, not too small.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s really great.”

“Yeah.”

Lowering my eyes to my coat pockets, I carefully pushed my hand in to retrieve an extra bunny charm I hadn’t used for my phone. “I was…well, I was thinking that since you like bunnies, maybe you would want to have this.”

She looked behind her shoulder to see the bunny charm I held out to her. Squinting at it, then up at me, she hesitated. “Why?”

I hesitated too. “Because you like bunnies, and I had an extra charm from my charm kit that I hadn’t used.”

“I see.” She scrutinized me and the charm before deciding, “I guess.”

“Oh, okay.” I handed it over to her when she approached, and she clasped it deeply into her palm.

Nodding once, then twice, she concluded, “Very nice.”

I smiled a little, happy she liked it. “Okay.”

We entered the library and found a more secluded area, taking one of the study rooms so we could talk uninterrupted and without being eavesdropped on.

Once we closed the door behind us, Namjoon and Jimin led me to the couch, placing me between them as Jin sat on a lounge chair beside it. Kenley frowned to herself as she mulled over possible seating, and eventually, she took the on the opposite side of the couch. Our positioning allowed us all to face each other easily, and I clasped my hands as I gathered my words to begin.

Kenley had other plans, however, as she took the reigns of the conversation. “I want you to answer questions I have about Ryker, Faeryn.”

I sat up straighter, blinking rapidly. “Okay. I will.”

She pursed her lips. “Okay. Well.” Her eyes zeroed in on me, creating intensely uncomfortable eye contact. “Where did you meet him?”

I tried to hold eye contact, but deterred and uncomfortable, I blinked rapidly and broke it. “I met him at a restaurant.”

“When?”

“Two years ago. It was…” I gnawed on my lip. “A few months before my grandparents died.”

She nodded. “Right. So, he gave you a place to stay when they died.”

“Oh. Well…kind of,” I responded, unsure. “He found the apartment, we put the lease in my name since the money my grandparents left me was enough for about half a year of rent, and he said he would do me a favor and live with me since I was alone.”

“How did he give you a place,” she pressed with narrowed eyes still stuck solely on mine, “if the lease was in your name and you paid rent?”

“I wouldn’t have thought to get an apartment,” I revealed, embarrassed. “When my grandparents died, I didn’t really…move from their home, even if it was going to be sold. I was just…I was so sad and really felt all alone, and Ryker was the one who did the work of finding me an apartment, putting the deposit and first month’s rent down, and moving in with me. He helped me move and set everything up, so…yeah, my name was on the lease, but it was his idea.”

“That was…nice of him,” she said shortly. “To help you.”

“He used to do nice things, but…nice things aren’t really nice if you’re expecting something in return.”

She exhaled deeply. “Explain.”

“Oh. Well, I just meant that he wanted to do nice things to make me dependent on him, and once I fully trusted him, that’s when he stopped pretending to be nice because there was nothing more that I could give him that he hadn’t already taken.”

She turned slightly rigid. “How long did it take for him to stop being nice to you?”

“It happened gradually,” I explained, a bright red. “He would make me overstimulated on purpose, touch me places I told him not to touch like my hair and stomach, laugh and tell me it was just a joke, but he would do it all the time, and he started yelling when I couldn’t keep the job at the supermarket, and that’s when he hit me for the first time.”

She assessed rapidly. “What did he say after he touched your hair and stomach? It was nowhere more private that he touched?”

“Oh. It’s…no, it was just my stomach and hair. I don’t like people touching my hair; it makes me easily irritated, and touching my stomach was just so intimate, and I…I didn’t like it. Well,” I amended. “I don’t like when people who I don’t know touch my hair.” I peeked over at the guys. “It’s okay for people I trust and like to touch my hair. That’s okay. And my stomach, too.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Okay, but what did he say after he would touch your hair and stomach? You didn’t respond.”

“Oh, sorry, I was just trying to explain the second part of your question.”

“Okay, now answer the first.”

Jin cut in with a low, “Be patient. We’ll speak of everything that needs to be spoken of.” Setting her with a firm look, he concluded, “There’s no rush and no pressure.”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “She’s just being direct.”

She paused, assessed, and decided, “I’m coming across as rude, I guess, because of my monotone.”

“Oh, no, you’re really not,” I assured her. “You just want me to answer your questions.”

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “That’s what we’re here for, so why would we talk about anything else?”

“Yeah,” I admitted.

Steering the conversation back to where we left off, I exhaled shortly before continuing, “Sometimes he would apologize after touching my stomach or hair, mock me for being too sensitive, tell me I was his girlfriend and he could do whatever he wanted, and sometimes he would keep touching my stomach and hair to purposefully overstimulate/irritate me.”

Her jaw tensed. “I see.”

Carefully, I wondered, “Has he done that to you?”

She hummed as she thought, unsure if she wanted to reveal her response, but eventually came, “Occasionally.”

“Did he just…recently start doing that?”

“Yes,” she admitted slowly. “What does he do when you don’t clean the apartment or make him food?”

“He would just remind me to at first, like hand me the broom and cleaning supplies or the loaf of bread for a sandwich, but then he started through the supplies at me and…” I trail off. “The condiments.”

Her features twisted. “I see.”

I tried to look at her again, but her unrelenting eye contact made me look away and inhale sharply.

“You make a lot of eye contact,” I blurted.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Can you not?”

“Not really.”

“You can’t do bright lights,” she prompted curiously, still on her guard. “Or loud noises?” She pointed at my ears. “You have Loop earplugs.”

“Yeah, I can’t do either.” I looked at her earplugs. “What are yours?”

“They’re Calm earplugs. They don’t block so much sound out, but just enough.”

“Oh.” I nodded. “That’s really great. I really like Loop though.”

“Okay. I’m not telling you to switch.”

“Okay.” I rubbed the top of my pants. “You have a family, right?”

“Right. And you don’t. They died.”

I flinched. “They…yeah.”

“My family has been asking about Ryker, but they like him whenever he comes over to my parent’s house. It makes me feel like I’m crazy for entertaining any dislike about him. Maybe I am too sensitive. Maybe his jokes and sarcastic remarks are meant to make me fit into the world better. Maybe it’s like training—all of his remarks I can’t distinguish at first, and once I’m able to, I’ll be good at it.”

“No,” I shot back, her words sounding eerily similar to how mine once did. “He can’t make you ‘good’ because Autism doesn’t make you ‘bad’. Autistic or not, we have morals, and that’s what makes us good or bad. Even maybe…morally grey. Because there’s in-between and that kind of stuff. But Ryker abusing you will never make you good; that’s just an abuse tactic he’s using on you, and it’s…I think it’s working.”

She shook her head once. Twice. “My parents like him.”

“Maybe your parents like him because he doesn’t need them for anything,” I said slowly. “Just to boost his ego. So he puts his…kind front on. But he needs you for rent, for his meals, to take his anger out on, and to inflate his ego, and after a while, once you’re trapped, he doesn’t need to pretend to be kind anymore. We’re both Autistic, and he thinks we’re easier targets. It’s not fair, and it’s just—it’s sick.”

She paled. “Kind front.” She shook her head slowly. “Kind front?”

“He’s not really nice,” I said quietly. “It’s just a way to trap people who can’t see that.”

“He can trap Allistic people,” she argued. “Not just Autistics. We’re not easy targets—we’re not weak or stupid or defenseless. We’re people, just like everyone else.”

“I…I know.” I flicked my fingers anxiously. Glancing at Namjoon, he was already looking at me, waiting for me to signal my need or want for assistance, but it never came. I needed to speak to her; victim to victim. Person to person. Woman to woman.

Taking a stammered breath, I looked back at her. “We’re people with a diagnosis, and for some of us, it makes understanding intent harder. Like…differentiating expressions or jokes or sarcasm.”

“I can tell when someone’s being sarcastic,” she spat out. “I’m not an idiot.”

“I’m not—well, I’m not saying you are,” I tried to amend. “I can tell when someone’s being sarcastic if they make it pretty obvious, but otherwise, it’s a little…well, it’s hard and confusing, but that doesn’t make me an idiot.”

“I can differentiate expressions,” she shot back. “I’ve practiced, and I’m good at it. I’m good at everything I practice.”

I was momentarily quiet. “Allistics don’t have to practice that, so it’s easier for them to use it against us if they want to.”

She glared at me. “I’m not stupid.”

“I know,” I confirmed as my anxiety rose. “I didn’t say you were. I…I think that anyone who uses what we struggle with against us is stupid.”

Her glare shifted until it fell along with her expression. We were quiet.

A minute must have passed before she picked back up with, “He says he’s looking for a job, but I’m paying all the bills and buying all of the groceries. He uses my money to buy himself things, and I used to have so much saved up, but now I barely have anything.” She wiped her nose resentfully. “I have my parents, so it’s fine if I need to fall back on them, but it’s…frustrating. He said he would get a job, but he isn’t, and when he goes out to job hunt, he just buys things with my money.”

“He did that to me, too,” I revealed. “Even though he was mad when I quit my job at the supermarket because they wouldn’t accommodate me.”

“It’s illegal for them not to accommodate you when you’re officially diagnosed,” she stated.

“Yeah, but…quitting was easier than starting a legal battle, and I don’t think much would have come from it anyway.”

“You should’ve tried,” she deferred. “So many people get away with unfair treatment of disabled people in workplaces. If no one stands up against them, it will just keep happening.”

“I…I wouldn’t know where to start,” I said, ashamed. “I didn’t have enough money for a lawyer, and Ryker hit me after I quit, and I…I didn’t even really think about getting legal help. I was just…” My pulse quickened. “I was just trying to make it to the next day.”

“You should’ve tried,” she responded with a bite to her tone.

“That is not fair,” Jin cut in sharply. “I advise you listen to Faeryn and what she is wording very clearly to you. She was being abused at her workplace and home, something you would not understand. If you were to take your workplace to court for maltreatment, you would have a support system, your parent’s money for a lawyer, and your friends to talk to and vent about the situation. Faeryn did not have anyone but Ryker at that time, and as she just communicated with you, he had hit her for the first time after she quit her job.

“It isn’t her responsibility to fight back and represent the entire Autistic community; no one fits that mold, and there should never be pressure to. She was focused on survival, and paying for a lawyer with money she didn’t have was not vital to survival. I could ask you if you would be strong enough to acquire legal support without a familial support system, but you wouldn’t be able to answer because you wouldn’t know.

“Watch what you say to someone when you will never understand the pain they went through. Empathy is important.” He set her with a stern look. “Watch what you say to her.”

Her chest heaved as she stared at him, taking her time digesting his words before turning to me. “I don’t understand,” she finally said.

“What don’t you understand?” I asked, dizzy from the interaction and rising conflict.

“Your feelings,” she ground out. “Why you didn’t take your workplace to court even if you didn’t have a support system. You could’ve taken out a loan to get a lawyer, and there are court-appointed lawyers for free.”

“I just…I wasn’t thinking,” I whispered as shame clawed at my stomach, churning and whirling.

Namjoon spoke up, keeping his tone level and calm. “Kenley, Faeryn wanted to come here to help you out of an unsafe situation because she understands how frightened and hopeless she felt when she was with Ryker. She came here because of empathy and compassion—she didn’t want you to feel alone like she did.”

Her lips parted, closed, and her throat constricted as she swallowed. After an internal struggle, she said, “I have a support system.”

My chest ached. “But they weren’t and aren’t in a relationship with Ryker, so they don’t completely understand. I just…I didn’t want you to feel alone and like you were crazy for thinking he was hurting you.”

“He’s…” She faltered. “He’s not hitting me.”

“Is he…pushing you?”

“Pushing me?” Her head cocked. “When he walks by me, do you mean?”

“Yeah, when it’s not really necessary. Like…there’s enough room for him to get by you without being close enough to push you.”

She stared at me. “I guess.”

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s an accident,” she responded rigidly. “Strangers on the street do it all the time.”

“Crowded streets,” I said quietly. “Apartments with two people aren’t crowded.”

“It’s an accident.”

“Does he elbow you?”

“An accident,” she claimed.

“Does he grab your hair?”

“An accident.”

“Does he throw your sandwich on the floor when it’s not made right?”

She swallowed. “It’s just his way of telling me to make it again. Nonverbal communication.”

“He could communicate better. With his words.”

“It’s just an accident.”

Pained, I whispered, “If it happens all the time, it’s not an accident.”

She kept looking at me. “Why do you care if it’s an accident or not? I have a support system; they’ll tell me if I’m not safe, and they haven’t told me yet. They like Ryker.”

“Because he needs them to like him to keep you in his trap,” I insisted. “Why don’t you understand? You’re not safe, Kenley. He’s going to hurt you.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” she refuted.

“He hurt me for two years, and his ‘accidents’ were never accidents.”

Something shifted in her, and anger came to the surface. “He said you would do this; he said you were jealous of me and wanted him back so you would lie and make me leave him.”

My features fell. “I’m not lying, and I—I don’t want him back. He hurt me.” My voice broke. “I had to get surgery for the arm he broke and surgery last month for the nerve pain it caused.”

“You’re lying,” she fought back. “Just because he pushes by me accidentally and throws a sandwich on the ground doesn’t mean he’s an abuser. I would know; I’m smart enough to.”

“Why don’t…why don’t you believe me?” I asked as my mind spun with confusion. “I don’t want him back; I just didn’t want him to hurt you because I know how much pain it causes during and then…after.”

Jimin took my hand and squeezed, his voice entering the air in a crisp, cool exterior. “We would love to help you, Kenley, but if you’re not open to accepting it, that’s fine. As you keep saying, you have a support system you can fall back on. But,” he added. “You came to speak with us for a reason. Your gut is speaking, but you’re only partially listening.”

“You can’t end,” Hoseok said firmly, “what you’re not ready to end. Sometimes, we have to go through it to see that it’s real for ourselves. Everyone’s path is different, and if you want to continue on yours with Ryker, all Faeryn is asking is for you to listen, and if not, lean on your support system for support and guidance.”

“He’ll try to isolate you,” I rushed to say, feeling our conversation was coming to an end. “There will be signs, and if you don’t want to listen right, it’s okay, but please. If he starts openly cheating on you, showing you his DMS with other girls on social media, calls you mean names, and forces you into a meltdown, he’s getting comfortable, and any remaining false kindness will go away, and who he really is will show, and you’ll get the Ryker I know.”

Breathing shakily, I pleaded, “Please be safe, and if he fully isolates you, don’t be scared. There’s a way out; you just have to tell someone so he can’t keep you alone with him anymore—even if he says they won’t believe you.”

Her pupils quivered as she assessed, struggling with what to believe as the beliefs Ryker embedded in her fought to win. “You left your things,” she said shakily. “At the shop that day, everyone here but you came back to get them, and some things you’ve said Ryker has said and done to you, he’s done to me. But it’s been three months, and he’s never hit me, so I…I don’t know if I can believe you. It’s all just…confusing.”

“I know,” I confirmed, pained. “He makes it that way on purpose. He’s not just all mean at first; he’s kind too. If he was 100% mean, you would’ve left already, and he needs you and your money and your love to make him feel important.”

“I’m important,” she said firmly, but her voice shook. “He won’t ever make me feel any other way.”

My voice straining, I managed, “I hope he won’t, but I know he’ll try.”

She clutched the bottom of her shirt. “I want to go home now.”

I nodded glumly. “Okay.”

She stood. “Don’t come to my apartment again.” Her features twisted. “I don’t want to speak to you again about this.”

I fought back tears as I knew what inevitably awaited her with Ryker. “Okay.”

She bowed slightly. “Goodbye.”

She left the room first, not looking back as she closed the door behind her.

Frustrated, my fingers dug into my palms deeply enough to leave an indent. “He’s going to hurt her,” I said, dazed. “He’s going to hurt her, and I can’t do anything to stop it.”

“You did what you could,” Jin said gravely. “There’s nothing else you can do as much as you would like to, and I know you want to. I know, Faeryn, but people who don’t want help can’t be helped.”

“She’s questioning it,” Namjoon continued Jin’s train of thought. “She knows something is off, even if she’s not sure what. Ryker’s manipulation can only go so far, and once she’s able to see what’s happening, she’ll take action, but only when she’s ready. Not even her family and friends can convince her; only she can leave him.”

“You did the right thing,” Hoseok said softly, but his voice was tightly wound, mirroring the frustration I felt. “Not everyone can see danger when they’re in the middle of it, but you gave her signs to watch out for.”

My chin wobbled as I shook my head repeatedly. “It doesn’t feel like I did all I could. I just—I feel so…” Angry tears bubbled up in my eyes. “Helpless.”

Namjoon pulled me to his side, clasping the back of my neck and allowing me to bury my face in his chest.

“You did what you could,” he said firmly, his voice laced with his building anger and resentment towards Ryker and the situation. “That’s what matters right now. You can’t fight her battles for her.”

“She’s going to get hurt,” I stammered, clutching her shirt for solace. “She’s going to get hurt.”

He held me close. “Let’s hope she leaves him before that happens.”

“Hope isn’t enough to save her,” I spat out.

“She has to be the one to start the saving,” he returned grimly. “Not you, and not anyone else. It’s upsetting, Faeryn, I know, but it’s the truth. You did what you could, and you can’t blame yourself for the hurt Ryker is causing.”

“He’s so—he’s just—” I groaned, furious. “He’s so cruel.”

“I know, baby,” he said rigidly. “Cruelty will run its course.”

“When?” I croaked, squeezing my eyes shut. “Why are some people so cruel? Why do they get away with it? And…and should I have gone to court to testify against the treatment at the supermarket? Would that have helped? I…I didn’t think—”

“You were busy surviving,” he returned firmly. “Every penny you had went to Ryker, Faeryn. Even if you were able to obtain a court appointed lawyer—which you might not have because not every case is enough to acquire one—the case might not have gone in your favor if you didn’t have enough proof, and you might not have had access to CCTV or remember the times when the mistreatment occurred. The entire situation might have only traumatized you further when the outcome could have been nothing—only testifying against the people who mistreated you and seeing them walk away with only a tap on the wrist.

“You did,” he concluded adamantly, “what you could without a support system, and I’m proud of you. The system needs to be fixed to properly help victims because right now, it usually only inflicts further trauma onto them. Kenley might not understand that because she hasn’t had the need to enter the system for legal assistance, but since she’s with Ryker, she might need to if she stays long enough for things to escalate.”

“It’s not fair,” I insisted, “that victims need to fight so hard to be heard. It’s—it’s so unfair that Ryker lies and claims he’s a victim because it just makes it harder for me, the real victim, to be heard and believed. People will believe him because he’s Allistic and easier to like, but if they really knew him—” I groaned, overwhelmed. “It’s not fair.”

He circled his arms around me, applying firm pressure to ground me. “I know it’s unfair, but Faeryn, the villains never win. For a little while they will, but eventually, they get caught. The system isn’t perfect, but there are good judges. Good police officers. Good lawyers. And they are doing what they can to help victims, even if they are far and between, they’re there, and they’re trying.”

“I wish there were more good people,” I stammered fitfully. “It’s not fair that so many bad people are in positions of power. It’s just—it’s giving bad people not in power more power to keep being bad, just like Ryker.”

“I know,” he confirmed, pained. “I know. We do what we can to change that, but it isn’t up to us alone, so don’t put that burden on yourself. We work together, we’re each other’s support system, and together, we fight. That’s why we came here to talk to Kenley; to try and help her see she’s in danger. We support victims, Faeryn, even when they don’t realize they’re victims. Even when they get defensive and snap back and try to convince the people around them that they’re fine.”

He caressed my hair, pressing multiple kisses to the top of my head. “She’ll be thankful for you once she realizes who Ryker truly is.”

“But she’ll feel guilty then too,” I lamented. “She said she was smart enough to realize if he was an abuser, so that means she’ll feel stupid once she realizes he is, and she shouldn’t feel stupid. I don’t want her to feel stupid.”

“No one can control someone else’s feelings,” Hoseok said with a deep, regretful sigh. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you wanted this to end differently.”

Jimin voiced stiffly, “I know Kenley is a victim too, but what she said to you, Faeryn, was unacceptable.”

I lifted my face, blinking until I could see through my tears. “She’s just confused.”

“I know she is,” he returned, his voice pinched with annoyance. “But you were doing her a kindness she returned with hostility.”

“She’s defensive,” I defended her, “because she doesn’t want to believe she’s being abused. It’s…the reality is scary, and she’s trying to push it away for as long as she can.”

“I’m aware, Faeryn, but that doesn’t make the way she treated you right.”

“I know,” I agreed grudgingly. “But…I understand her, and…I don’t want her to feel guilty about this conversation after she leaves Ryker if she does feel guilty. Maybe she won’t, but either way, I don’t want her to.” Quietly, I added, “She’ll have enough feelings to feel.”

“That’s kind of you,” he said after a moment. “But when we help people, Faeryn, we don’t let them disrespect us.”

I blinked a few times. “She’s just hurting.”

“I’m sure Ryker was hurting before he hurt someone for the first time, too. It’s no excuse.”

I went very quiet before I burst, “She wasn’t too mean; she was being direct and speaking her mind. She never lied once—she just reacted to being told that her boyfriend is abusing her, but she doesn’t know because Autistic traits make it difficult to tell. It’s like I was basically calling her stupid.”

“That is not what you were doing,” Jin negated sternly. “You were helping her.”

“Maybe it sounded like I was condescending to her,” I argued. “And that’s why she was defensive. Maybe if I had tried a different approach, she would’ve believed me. Maybe—”

“No, Faeryn, we’re not doing this,” Namjoon cut me off. “You’re not going to sit here and blame yourself for her disbelief. What did I tell you last night? Hm? What did I say about possible re-traumatization due to disbelief toward the trauma Ryker put you through? It’s hurtful, even considering the circumstances and what Kenley’s going through. You’re going through something too; you just underwent surgery for the aftereffects of what he did to you, you’re healing from emotional and physical abuse, and you’re still processing the loss of your family—a situation that Ryker’s abuse kept you from fully processing, and yet, Faeryn”—he cupped my face in his hands—“you’re kind, and you have been before, throughout, and after.

“Pain is no excuse to cause pain to others,” he concluded. “Do you understand me? Thinking otherwise can cause you to fall victim to more pain. We can understand why someone causes pain, and we can empathize, but we don’t need to stay around them. Yes, Faeryn? Do you hear me when I say this? I need you to hear me and understand because the last thing I want is for this to be a reason for you to become trapped in another abusive relationship.”

I blinked at him, floored with confusion. “I’m—I’m not going to be in another relationship.”

“A friendship,” he explained. “A work relationship with a boss or someone in a higher position. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, Faeryn.” His thumbs swiped against my cheeks. “I should’ve made that clear. There will be no other relationship for you unless you decide that. Otherwise, it’s us.”

“Yes,” I breathed out. “Just you guys. Always you guys.”

“Us,” he confirmed, his voice and words soothing me. “Okay? Us. Now can you let me know you heard and understood what I explained to you?”

My lips twisted to the side as confusion ran rampant. “But then how can I help her?”

“You helped her just now, even if she doesn’t realize it yet,” he responded firmly. “That’s all we can do for someone who isn’t ready to listen.”

“But it feels so…helpless,” I said, defeated. “Now I just have to wake up every day and know she’s being hurt by Ryker.”

Namjoon’s lips set into a straight line. “Faeryn, you can’t do that. We agreed to do this to help Kenley, but also for a sense of closure. You can’t let this eat at you; it’s not healthy.”

“I don’t know how to do anything else!” My chest stammered as I stared at him wildly. “How do I live life knowing she’s being hurt?”

“By knowing you did what you could,” he said sharply. “Because that’s all you can do.”

“It’s not enough!” My features twisted with pain. “It’s not enough.”

“It’s all anyone can do.”

“I hate him,” I fulminated. “I hate him so much.”

“Trust me,” Jimin said rigidly. “We hate him, too.”

Beside myself with frustration and the unpleasant tug of unfairness in my gut, I pushed away from Namjoon and hurried to my feet.

“We have to go,” I insisted as I wiped my eyes quickly. “We have to.”

“Slow down,” Jin instructed as he and everyone else stood. “Talk to us and take deep breaths.”

“Not now,” I refuted. “I—I can’t right now. I just—I have to go.”

“Go where?” Hoseok asked, his forehead creased as he awaited my response. “Where do we need to go, sweetheart? Just tell us, and we’ll take you there, okay? But you need to communicate with us. Can you do that for us? Can you stay with us?”

I inhaled sharply as the air became hard to find. “I have to go to the shop where I saw Ryker. I—I have to go there.”

“Thank you for telling us,” he said reassuringly. “And we’ll take you there, all right? We will, but do you think you can tell us why we need to go there?”

“I can’t keep having nightmares about it,” I breathed out. “It’s the one thing I can try to control because I—I can’t control how Kenley lives her life in pain with Ryker, so I need to do this. I have to go to the shop.”

Hoseok’s features set with realization—and determination. “We’ll go to the shop. We’ll do whatever you need, Faeryn. Whatever it takes.”

“Okay,” I confirmed, unmoving. They gave me a moment to move, and when I kept standing, I practiced a few deep breaths before pushing my hand out and whispering, “Please hold my hand.”

Namjoon, closest to me, took my hand just as Hoseok stepped forward to claim the other.

“We’re right here with you.” Namjoon peered down into my half-averted face. “All right? We’re not going anywhere.”

“Together,” Jimin said, his anger simmering along his face. “We do this together. You’re not alone anymore, Faeryn. You have a support system now, and it’s not leaving. We’re not leaving.”

I sucked my lip between my teeth as I nodded rapidly.

“All right,” Jin took charge, commencing our departure. “Let’s go the shop if you’re ready, Faeryn.”

Nodding shakily, I confirmed, “Ready.”

꧁꧂

I couldn’t walk into the shop. I was frozen on the sidewalk, shaking in place as I looked at the entrance with wide eyes.

Customers walked in and out as if it was a normal day, and it was—to them, which only made me feel worse and ostracized.

I could see the elevators through the windows at the far edge of the store. They were there just as they were in my nightmares, and for a moment, I thought I saw Mr. Stuffins at the top, about to be torn apart.

I flinched and took multiple steps back, put to a stop by both Jin and Hoseok’s hands on my back, immediately stabilizing me.

“Can’t,” I breathed out, unable to do anything else and hoping they would understand.

It was another thing I couldn’t control, and I felt pathetic. Ashamed. And more defeated than before.

When Namjoon spoke, I looked over at him, surprised at his sudden declaration. “You can.”

I couldn’t, even if he said I could. I was frightened; I was traumatized. I wasn’t ready to face part of my nightmare, but he repeated, “You can.”

I shook my head rapidly.

“Do you want to wake up in bed tonight afraid of another nightmare?” he questioned seriously. “Or do you want to take my hand, go inside, and take the escalator to show it and yourself who’s in control of the situation?”

I wanted to, that’s what we came here for, but faced with it, I wasn’t sure I could.

I shook my head again and again and again.

“Faeryn.” His voice dipped, easily conveying his authority. “Either you sign or speak your code word, or I’m going to take your hand and walk you up to that escalator.”

I didn’t sign or speak. I remained silent and still.

He took my hand and eased me out from between Jin and Hoseok, only pausing when he heard my breath hitch.

“Sign or speak your code word,” he instructed.

I didn’t.

“I’m taking you inside,” he told me, giving me a chance to change my mind. I didn’t take it. He led me inside.

I heard the others follow behind us, but I couldn’t look to ensure it. My eyes were latched onto the escalator as we entered the shop. It wouldn’t stop moving, up and down; an endless loop. The last and first step was the scariest, the area I could get trapped in—or Mr. Stuffins, just like in my nightmares, not to mention the fear and dizziness heights evoked.

I clung to Namjoon’s hand, finding slight comfort in his thumb caressing the top of mine as we walked toward my waking nightmare. The sound of it alone terrified me, and although panicking, I wasn’t sure what else to do as we arrived.

Namjoon waited until a few steps had gone up, and once the escalator was empty of people, he led me on. I closed my eyes, but it only made the dizziness worse, so I reopened them and clung to the banister for support, but the movement and nearness to the edge made me want to throw up, so I slowly and carefully returned my hand to my side. I tried to look behind me to see the others, but that made me feel like I was falling, and horrified, tears built in my eyes as hopelessness grew within me.

The top was too far away, but when it wasn’t, it was too close. I was afraid I wouldn’t step off on time, becoming trapped in an endless loop in the escalator and torn to shreds, and—

Namjoon effortlessly stepped me off of the escalator, walking me a few steps forward to give me space from it and to let the others exit.

I was shaking. I couldn’t stop.

Slowly, I turned to look at the escalator, clinging to Namjoon and pressing myself deeply into his side as I assessed. It was over until we had to return downstairs, but for now, it was over.

I was still standing, I wasn’t torn to shreds, and I had four of my men surrounding me to keep me safe.

Inhaling unsteadily, I looked at the adjoining escalator that would take us downstairs, then toward the ail I had been frozen in when I heard Ryker and Kenly. My pupils quivered, and my chin wobbled, knowing I couldn’t help her then or now.

“Faeryn,” Namjoon prompted. “Hey.” Lowering himself to my height, he tilted my chin up, but my eyes flickered away, unable to hold eye contact. “You’re safe. He’s not here, and even if he was, he wouldn’t be able to touch you with us around, and this shop has security. You’re safe.”

My throat constricted as I croaked, “Kenley’s not.”

He exhaled rigidly. “Faeryn.”

I looked back at the escalator. “I…I came up here that day by myself, even if I was scared and dizzy. But then I heard Ryker and now…I’m even more scared of escalators than before.” Distraught, I looked up at him. “What do I do?”

“Baby,” he murmured. “You did it just now, didn’t you? You held my hand, you went up the escalator, and you’re talking through it. Conquering fear doesn’t happen all at once. It’s gradual and takes time, but once it’s conquered, the time it took to do so is worth it.”

He caressed my chin. “We’ll do what we can to help your fear of escalators, and if it means coming here every day to go up and down, then we’ll do that. You’ll be able to go up them by yourself again, Faeryn, I promise.”

I struggled with this concept as much as I hoped it was true. “Okay,” I whispered eventually. “But I don’t want to come here every day. It would make me anxious all day to get it over with.”

“All right,” he agreed softly. “How about we surprise you?”

“Surprise me?”

“We won’t tell you when we’re coming here, but we’ll take you here to go up and down the escalator, then we’ll leave. That way, you won’t be dreading a certain time of day.”

I blinked up at him, relieved. “Okay, yes, please, we can do that.” I hugged him tightly. “I don’t want to be scared of escalators; I don’t want to have nightmares of them anymore. And…and maybe soon we can bring Mr. Stuffins here so I know he won’t get torn apart either. Just not now, okay? I’m…I’m too scared.”

“That’s okay,” he affirmed. “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll bring Mr. Stuffins.”

“Okay, Joon,” I whispered. “Okay.”

“Baby,” he murmured, bringing me to him for a firm hug. “It’s okay; you’re okay. We’ll figure this out one step at a time. Okay?”

Jin cut in lowly, “The trauma didn’t happen all at once, Faeryn, so the healing won’t either. It will take time, but we’ll be there every step of the way, I promise you. Do you understand?” When all I did was sniffle in response, he pressed in a gentler tone, “Hm?”

“Yes, Jin,” I said quietly. “I understand. Just want it to be over.”

“We can’t rush healing,” he responded. “But it will happen.”

“Good things can be found in the healing journey too, sweetheart,” Hoseok supplemented. “It’s not all bad.”

Slowly, I agreed, “Yeah, because you guys are in it, and…Lyric, and crocheting, and video games, and…tea and lattes.” I sniffled again. “Sleepovers.”

“Do you want to have a sleepover tonight?” Jimin asked. “Anything you want, Faeryn. You and Jungkook could make a blanket fort, we could get some snacks—maybe combine the sleepover with a tea party.”

I peeked over at him. “You mean…a tea party sleepover?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, honey.”

“Mm…” I mulled this over very carefully. “What if I start crying? Will that…well, will that ruin the tea party sleepover?”

“Not at all,” he said softly. “Tea party sleepovers can be used for laughing and having fun just as much as they can be used for crying and regulating. It’s a tea party after all. They’re the best, aren’t they, honey?”

Slightly put at ease with his gentle tone of voice and usual pet name, I nodded timidly. “Yeah. They’re the best. And sleepovers are the best too, so together, they’re…even more the best.”

He smiled a bit, and I took notice of how his brow twitched with his steadily remaining anger. “That’s right.”

I tightened my grip on Namjoon’s shirt. “Maybe…well, maybe Kenley will believe me once she gets home and ruminates. Mm…maybe she doesn’t ruminate like I do, but maybe she does, and while she’s ruminating, maybe she’ll start processing.” I desperately clung to the last thread of hope. “Do you think so?”

“It’s very possible,” Hoseok confirmed. “And it’s always good to hope for…” He smiled, strained. “Good.”

“I hope that my hope goes somewhere,” I said quietly with a glance at the escalators. “We…we have to go back down.”

“We don’t have to go down right now,” Jin answered decisively. “We can take our time.”

I looked toward the aisle I’d been frozen in when I heard Ryker and Kenley. “I…I don’t want to.” Looking up at Namjoon, I whispered, “I want to go home.”

“All right,” he murmured. “Hold my hand; we’ll get there together.”

“Together,” I echoed, and with a deep breath full of strained hope, I grabbed his hand and let him lead me toward the escalator.

“Wait,” I blurted once we arrived.

He stopped immediately, peering down to view my anxious features and flicking fingers. “What is it, Faeryn? Hm? You can tell me.”

“I want the others to go first,” I said nervously. “So I can see them. It…it would make me feel better, please, if they want to go first.”

“Of course we will, sweetheart,” Hoseok agreed as Jin and Jimin voiced their confirmation. “We’ll go in front so you know where we are.”

Relieved, I breathed out, “Thank you.”

“Of course, honey,” Jimin responded. “Just hold Namjoon’s hand and let him take care of you, okay? He won’t let anything bad happen to you on the escalator or anywhere else; none of us will.”

I nodded, and although still nervous, I knew Jimin was right. They would all keep me safe. With that in mind, I voiced my readiness, and Namjoon resumed his step, taking me with him.

The escalator down wasn’t as frightening considering it was going down, easing the height aspect of my fear, and I exhaled shortly once we stepped off.

“Done,” I breathed out. “We’re done.”

“We are,” Namjoon confirmed. “We’re done.”

As soon as we exited the shop, the air felt lighter. I shuddered with relief, enjoying the crisp cold air against my cheeks; a much-needed contrast to the nearly suffocating, hot air in the shop.

In the car, Namjoon sat beside me, helping me buckle in when my fingers kept shaking. Hoseok took the seat beside me, and with Jin in the driver’s seat, Jimin claimed shotgun, his fingers flying away as he told me, “I’m letting the others know to start on the tea, so when we get home, it will all be ready for you in your strawberry cup, okay, honey?”

With my face pushed against Namjoon’s shoulder as I nibbled absently on his shirt for solace, I blinked over at Jimin, hesitant but remaining silent.

He glanced at me through the rearview mirror, caught my expression, and turned in his seat to look at me. “What’s going on in your pretty mind, honey? You’re thinking hard in there.”

I swallowed. “Jimin?”

“Yes, baby, I’m right here.”

“Can…is…well, I…” I paused, distraught as my brows tugged together. It took me a moment, but eventually, I admitted with a twinge of embarrassment and shame, “I want to communicate, and I…I don’t think this is a big deal, but I’m having a hard time right now. Maybe because I…I feel really sad about Kenley and scared because of the escalator.”

“It’s okay,” he soothed as Hoseok and Namjoon simultaneously tightened their hold on me. “It’s okay to feel that way. If you want to communicate with me, you can try now or you can try later. Which one do you think would be easier? Hm? What do you think?”

“I…” I gnawed on my lip. “Jimin, I…” My eyes darted around the car as my thoughts bumped into each other. “I feel nervous.”

“Okay,” he murmured. “What else do you feel?”

Hoseok caressed my arm as Namjoon rubbed my thigh.

“Upset,” I revealed. “That I feel scared to communicate because I know I can because you and the others said so, and you mean that literally, not figuratively, so I don’t know why I…” I rubbed my face tiredly. “I just want to communicate.”

“I know. Hey. I know.” He leaned over and held his hand out, pushing our fingers to intertwine when I clasped my palm into his. “Do you want to rip the band-aid off? Tell me really quickly?”

“Mm…okay,” I said uncertainly. “But I don’t know why this is so hard. I…I think I’ve been doing a good job with communicating.” Turning red, I wondered, “Have I?”

Agreement filled the car instantaneously, and I relaxed slightly.

“You experienced disbelief toward a traumatic situation you’re still healing from,” Jin said gravely. “You went up and down an escalator that’s been haunting your nightmares, and you’re struggling to regulate. Today brought back memories of what Ryker did to you, not to mention how we would react when you tried to communicate with him, so the issue stems from that, Faeryn. And again, it isn’t your fault. This is all on him.”

I paused before nodding. “Yeah, it…yeah, that makes sense because even if I know you wouldn’t be mad at me or hurt me for communicating, Ryker did.”

“Yes,” he confirmed rigidly. “You’re struggling to hold onto what you’ve learned while being with us; that communication will only strengthen our relationships, not harm them.”

Feeling slightly better, I nodded a few times before deciding I could ask, “Is it okay if the others don’t start making the tea?”

“Yeah, of course, honey,” Jimin confirmed with ease. “They can wait.”

“Oh.” My chest loosened slightly. “Okay. Can…well, can you and I make tea when we get home? I wanted to do it with you together.”

His features softened. “Of course we can make tea together.”

A timid smile met my lips. “Okay, then that’s all I wanted to communicate.” Embarrassed, I added, “I’m sorry it took so long to ask a simple question.”

“Don’t apologize,” he refuted. “You’re doing your best, and I’m very happy you felt safe enough to ask me a question. I’m sure questioning Ryker’s decisions only ended badly for you, even if it was a simple question, so I appreciate you trusting me enough to know you can ask me anything.”

My lip trembled before it eased into a miniature smile. “And now we can make tea together.”

“Yes, honey, we can make tea together. You and me, hm?”

I nodded, and drained from what the conversation took from me, I hid my face back into Namjoon’s shirt and basked in his warm, heavy hands rubbing comfort into my thighs as Hoseok massaged the tension from my neck.

“I’ll let them know we’re on our way,” Jimin concluded. “But the tea-making is up to us. For now, just relax, honey. Hoseok and Namjoon have you nice and safe back there.”

I sighed tremulously, curling closer to them for comfort. The entire drive home, I ruminated about the day’s events and what would happen because of it. Pain for Kenley, pain for me knowing she was in pain, and the pain her family would experience when they realized they couldn’t help her either. It truly was up to her to leave Ryker.

I hoped she would leave him before he caused irreparable damage. But that’s all I could do; hope.

And hoping had never felt so hopeless.

Notes:

well 😀

here come multiple character arcs that I'm very excited to share with you all! As Namjoon said, villains never win in the long run. Our handsome, high IQ guy 🤩

hehe shit is about to get real 😈👩‍💻

Chapter 42: Chamomile Tears

Summary:

Jungkook finds ways to cheer Faeryn up.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Tea brewing ended up in tears, but with a quivering lip and shaking pupils, I continued mixing in the sugar and lemon because Jimin said tears were allowed at tea parties.

After we finished making tea for everyone, I excused myself to the bathroom, but after using it, I ended up in the corner of my room in a safety huddle. There, in the safety I created, I rocked myself back and forth with my hands over my ears, humming and allowing the vibrations to spread through me.

Not too long later, I heard a muffled voice, but I wouldn’t look. When someone put their hand on my arm, I shook them off, my voice high-pitched as I mumbled incoherent protests and huddled further into myself as rumination tormented me.

The hand pulled back, but I felt the air shift. Whoever it was remained, and upset, I turned to see who it was. I faltered when I saw who it was.

Jungkook.

He looked back at me with big, worried eyes, but there was understanding flickering within them.

“Bad day?” he signed.

My lower lip trembled, and I forced myself to nod.

“I can help,” he signed with a quick nod. “I have bad days, too.”

When I remained hesitant, he shifted and brought his legs into a crisscross position.

“When,” he began to sign, “I had bad days because of scary things that happened to me, there was one thing I would do that would almost always help me feel better.”

I swallowed roughly and nodded to show I was listening.

“Sometimes,” he continued to sign, “I make a blanket fort to block out everything; a really safe one where I can do all of my favorite things like video games and watching cat and dog videos or sketching.”

I kept my hands pressed tightly to my ears.

He offered, “I can make a blanket fort for you before we go back downstairs for our sleepover, and I can help change you out of your clothes into something comfier. Like…your dinosaur shirt. And I’ll get your earplugs and chewing tube, plus I can get my iPad so you can watch Camp Cretaceous.”

I gnawed on my lip uncertainly and signed, “Sleepover. Late. Mad?”

“No one’s mad,” he continued to sign. “Sleepovers can happen whenever; that’s why they’re so awesome, right? We’ll even make a blanket fort for downstairs, too, once you’re ready to.”

I forced another nod, unsure.

“Can I go get supplies for our blanket fort in here?” he signed.

I sucked on my bottom lip for solace before singing, “Yes.”

He got to his feet, slightly breathless, and signed, “Be right back.”

He hurried out of the room, and when he returned, his arms were full of blankets. His iPad and bulky headphones were perched on top of it, and he carefully set them all down near the couch and coffee table.

I watched him set it up, draping the blankets over the couch and securing it around and beneath the coffee table. He situated pillows and smaller blankets until he created a haven of plush comfort.

My curiosity was piqued, and the idea of being somewhere soft began to feel safer than my current corner. Gathering courage, I scooted myself forward using my feet to drag me as I remained seated.

I gave up halfway, the action taking too much energy, and when Jungkook exited the blanket fort, I looked up at him sorrily.

He noticed I’d moved and hurried over to me, crouching in front of me. “Do you want to see inside? I can carry you if you want me to; I really can.”

I rubbed my hand on my chest to sign, “Please.”

“Okay,” he breathed out, placing his hands under my armpits to lift me into his arms. “I will.”

Carrying me with ease to the blanket fort, he pulled the blankets back to place me inside.

“What do you think?” he asked. “I think it’s pretty.” He situated me against the fluffiest pillow. “I’m going to get your dinosaur shirt, okay? Do you want your lounge pants or shorts?”

I held up two fingers.

“Shorts?” he guessed, and when I confirmed, he nodded and stood back up. “Okay. Shorts.”

He rummaged around in my drawers, and when he returned, he asked, “Is it okay if I help you?”

I nodded and signed, “Please.”

He helped lift my shirt up and my jeans down, fitted my dinosaur shirt and shorts on, and once I was comfortable, he eased socks onto my feet.

“Headphones,” he said, his brows furrowed as he concentrated on putting them on me. Connecting them to the iPad, he handed the latter to me with Camp Cretaceous already pulled up. “And your show.”

He carefully nudged my chewing tube into my mouth, and I sunk into the pillows and blankets, chewing frantically for comfort. When the show continued to play and the normality of it settled, my frantic chewing eased to a slower pace.

Jungkook sat beside me once he ensured I was comfortable, and even though he couldn’t hear the show, he followed along with the subtitles.

Eventually, I let the side of my head lean against his shoulder as relaxation seeped through me, going hand in hand with regulation.

Four episodes passed before I began smiling slightly at certain scenes, and exhausted, I remained as close to Jungkook as I could as my eyelids began to droop.

He rubbed my arm occasionally, and I turned to catch a small, relieved smile on his face.

Nuzzling against his cheek, I gave him a grateful kiss. He blushed when I pulled away, but he kept his smile, although now slightly bashful.

“Thank you,” I signed. “Bad day. Kenley…” My features wound up into a regretful wince. “Not safe. Didn’t believe me.”

His smile faded slightly, and he rubbed my arm with a firmer grip. “I’m so sorry, Faeryn. I guess she wasn’t ready to leave him yet, but…hyungs said she’ll leave when she’s ready, and it’s really good that she has her family and friends to be there for her.”

He nodded with clear determination. “She’ll be okay, and she’ll appreciate you trying to help her once she realizes who Ryker really is.”

“Hope so,” I signed. “Hope she is okay and ruminating about our conversation. Hope so. For clarity.”

“Me too,” he responded quietly. “And she’ll definitely be thinking about it still because it just happened today.”

I nodded glumly. “Just a hard day. Was hard to communicate. Thought Jimin would be mad if I communicated. Feel bad.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he breathed out, trying his best to make me feel better. After a moment of hard thought, he wondered, “Can I tell you something?”

I peeked up at him curiously with another nod.

“Well, when…when everything happened with my old management, everyone was angry—especially Namjoon, but not at me. I think it’s difficult to tell sometimes.” His nose scrunched up. “Right?”

I nodded, signing, “Right.”

“I don’t like when they’re angry,” he told me. “But when they’re angry, they don’t hurt anyone. Hyungs use their anger to make decisions to keep people safe and respected. That doesn’t sound like it’s scary, right?”

I nodded, slower this time.

His next breath was strained. “My…my old management used to be nice, but…they were just pretending to be nice. They started making fun of me for having ADHD but said they were just teasing, and then they would take my meds from my bag and hide them so I couldn’t take them.” His features scrunched up at the memory. “They said ADHD was just for kids, and I had to stop being so childish.”

“I’m sorry,” I signed with knitted brows as a pang shot through my heart. “That’s mean.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “It’s mean.” He shrugged awkwardly. “They were mean, and…they yelled at me and called me mean names. They would hit me around a little, and I—well, they said I couldn’t tell anyone because it would stop a comeback from happening.”

My eyes widened. “They did?”

He winced, quickly following up with, “Yeah, and…I believed them. For so long, I believed them, and I guess…I wasn’t ready to ask for help because I was embarrassed by what they did to me and because I…I thought I deserved it.”

He inhaled sharply. “Even if what they did hurt me and made me scared and sad, I wasn’t ready to ask for help because I thought what they did to me was okay because I deserved it, but then…one day, I just…I don’t know. I couldn’t take what they did to me anymore, even if I deserved it. I was just so…” He sucked air in through his cheeks before releasing it. “Tired. And Jaehyun saw me crying one day at HYBE and took me to Namjoon, and I told him everything, even if I was embarrassed and ashamed and scared he would stop talking to me like my old management said he would. I just needed it to stop, and…I think that’s what Kenley needs. She already agreed to talk to you, so she already knows something is wrong, but until it feels wrong enough to her—wrong enough to do whatever it takes to never feel that much wrong again—she’ll leave.”

Regret washed over his features. “I wish cruel people like Ryker and my old management didn’t exist. But,” he added with a squeeze to my hand, “people like you exist to try and help other people, and that’s really special. You and I left the cruel people in our lives when we were ready, and now we have to wait for Kenley to do the same thing. It’s…it’s not fair that Ryker is confusing her, but we just have to hope that her family and friends will support her when she’s not confused anymore.”

He paused, thought, and added tentatively, “I think you have to try not to let your life revolve around hers, even if you do want to help. She’s capable, and her life is up to her, not anybody else. I know you want to help her, but she has to help herself right now, and you need to help yourself by trying to move on from Ryker and what he could do now or next. It’s scary, and I don’t think you’ll heal like that. Kenley is living through something you went through, and…you’re living after it. You’re both in different places right now, and you can’t speed up where she is.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek anxiously. “I’m…I’m sorry if this isn’t really helping. I know I’m not as good as the others with making you feel better, but I used to think about if my managers were hurting anyone else, and…even if what they did to me is on their permanent employee record, they were still being hired places, so I can’t really do anything, but…Joon said I did what I could by telling him and hyungs what was going on.

“If employers don’t care about what my old managers did and still hire them, then that’s a reflection of them, not me. I did everything I could, just like you, Faeryn. We did everything that we could.”

My eyes welled with tears from his words, the sincerity written into his features, and the hope mingled in each breath he took that he was helping me feel better—even if just a little bit. Leaning back, I cupped his face and kissed his forehead repeatedly, needing him to know just how much he meant to me.

“Thank you,” I signed when I pulled back. “You’re really good at making me feel better. Really. And your old management is cruel and mean, and I’m so happy they’re gone. You deserve only the best things that make you happy.”

His lips parted as a relieved sigh left him, and he melted into my touch. “I didn’t mean to make it about me,” he said suddenly with big, guilty eyes. “I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, and I thought maybe that would help.”

“Thank you for telling me,” I signed. “Best.”

“Best what?” he whispered fervently.

“You’re the best,” I concluded, sealing my signed words with a kiss. Tugging my tube back up after our kiss, I pushed it back into my mouth and signed, “They were mean, but you’re not mean. You’re nice, and they should’ve been nice to you. Nice Jungkook.”

He showed a wobbly, grateful smile. “Nice Faeryn.”

I settled back into his chest, looping my arms around his neck and pushing onto his lap. He held me tightly, and we clung to each other as the show continued playing. Warm beneath the blankets and within the pillows with him, I slowly felt a little better as time passed, and by the time one more episode had passed, I carefully removed the headphones.

Turning to him, I kissed his chin and signed, “Downstairs?”

“Do you want to?” he asked. “There’s no rush; I told hyungs, and they said you can take as much time as you need, even if we end up doing the sleepover tomorrow.”

“Want to,” I signed. “I want to make a bigger blanket fort for all of us.”

He perked up. “Okay. Can I come with you?”

I nodded eagerly, crawling carefully out from his lap and the blanket fort, not wanting to ruin it. He followed after me, helping me into my sandals and taking my hand as we walked downstairs.

“Hey, honey,” Jimin said from the living area. A deck of cards was spread out on the coffee table, and he and Hoseok both held a few. The others were spread about, smiles coming to the surface at the sight of my return with Jungkook’s hand clasping firmly in mine. “What are you and Jungkook up to? Hm? Do you want to come here, let me see you for a second?”

I patted Jungkook’s hand before releasing it, and I hurried over to Jimin, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face within it.

“Oh, there you are.” He kissed the top of my head and collected me closer to him. “My sweet girl. Did you have some quiet time with Jungkook?” I nodded. “Yeah? Did that make you feel a little better?”

With another nod, I sighed tremulously and curled closer to him.

“Good,” he murmured. “That makes me very happy to hear.” He kissed along my face, patting my back gently as he eased me onto his lap. “Are you feeling sleepy, honey? You look a little tired, hm? Do you want to take a nap? You can stay right here on my lap, nice and safe with your face tucked in my neck.”

I squirmed contently at the suggestion, but I leaned back just enough to sign, “Build a blanket fort.” I pointed to Jungkook. “With Jungkook.”

“You both are going to make your blanket fort now?” He nudged his nose against my cheek before kissing it. “How sweet. Do you want company? Hoseok and I can bring our cards; be nice and quiet while you two work.” He caressed my hair. “Make sure you feel nice and safe.”

I peeked up at Jungkook questioningly.

He nodded good-naturedly. “Yeah, they can, Faeryn. It’s okay.”

I looked over to Hoseok, blushing when I realized I held his full attention. Dizzy, I managed a wave.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” I signed. “Still sad. But cried with Jungkook. Feel a little better.”

“Good,” Hoseok praised, sending a fond, approving look in Jungkook’s direction. “Jungkook’s very helpful and sweet, isn’t he?”

I nodded fervently, singing, “So helpful and so sweet. My nice Jungkook.”

Jungkook blushed, clasping his hands together before releasing them and shifting side to side. “Thanks, but I was just doing what any of you would have done. It was nothing special.”

“You are special,” I signed indignantly. “And so nice, and you didn’t do what they would have done because no one could’ve made me feel better like you did. Maybe differently, but not like you, and that’s special and so nice.”

He flushed at the compliment. “Really? That’s…thank you, Faeryn, I’m really happy I can help you like hyungs help you.”

“Of course you do,” I signed determinedly. “You always make me smile and feel better.”

He smiled bashfully, pleased. “You always make me smile and feel better, too.”

Hoseok chuckled kindly as Taehyung offered from the couch, “I could go reheat everyone’s tea while you and Jungkook set up the blanket fort, Faeryn, if that’s okay, so when you’re done, you can relax and have tea.” He nudged Yoongi. “Yoongi wants to help.”

Yoongi dipped his chin. “I do.”

“You don’t have to,” I signed.

“We want to,” they responded in unison.

With a light red dusting my cheeks, I signed, “Yes, please. Thank you.”

On their way past me to the kitchen, Yoongi surprised me when he dipped his face to mine and kissed my cheek. When I turned to face him with a few, quick blinks, he kissed my chin next.

“Two weeks,” he stated, his voice low enough to reach our ears only. “There’s always an end to two weeks.”

I swallowed around the emotion clogging my throat, and I hugged him tightly, pulling back to kiss him hard. He kissed me with the same amount of force, letting his hand warm my waist as I melted closer and closer to him.

When we pulled away with our lips parted and gazes caught, my breath hitched, and I pressed a gentle kiss to his bottom lip before he returned the favor to my top lip.

“Thank you,” I signed. “For reminding me about two weeks.”

He gingerly tucked my hair away from my face. “I will always remind you.”

I exhaled shortly and kissed him again, enjoying how he nudged me closer with his hold on my waist.

“Tea,” he spoke into the kiss.

“Tea,” I repeated, and with one, final kiss, we broke away from each other.

His eyes mirrored his smile at the sound of my voice. “Tea,” he concluded.

“Tea,” I responded, and then I smiled which only made his grow. Reminiscing about something we said on our first date, I worked my tongue up to a longer sentence, finding it in myself to add, “Because we said.”

His eyes flickered with recognition—and fondness. “Because we said.”

I tentatively reached for his hand, and he closed the distance, both of us squeezing at the same time.

When we released each other, he parted with a smile, and I stood in place watching after him and Taehyung before pivoting slightly to see the others.

Taking the few steps needed to reach Jin, I pushed myself onto his lap and burrowed into him, sighing contently when he immediately applied firm pressure to our hold.

“Need you,” I whispered into his shirt.

“I’m here, Faeryn.” He rubbed my back in firm, comforting circles. “Right here.”

“I’ll make the fort. Blanket fort. With Jungkook. But…need you right now.”

“That’s all right.” He gently nudged the side of his head against mine. “The blanket fort can wait.”

I peeked up at him after a sudden thought. “Mr. Stuffins?”

“Yeah, he can be in the blanket fort, Faeryn,” Jungkook agreed quickly, sounding closer than before, and I looked over to see him cuddling close to Namjoon on the couch. “We’ll make him his own special spot.”

I started to smile. “Okay, thank you. I want that.”

“Me too,” he agreed. “Because you want it, and because Mr. Stuffins is almost as cute as you, but not really because he won’t ever be as cute as my ducky.”

“Your ducky?” Namjoon questioned, amused and fond. “She isn’t yours alone, bub. There are several other people she belongs to, or have you forgotten?”

Jungkook looked at him and rolled his eyes. “Find your own name to call her; she’s my ducky.”

Jimin put a fist over his mouth as he laughed. “Sassy tonight, huh?”

“It would seem so,” Namjoon replied drily, lifting Jungkook’s chin and giving it a little shake. “Hm? Is Jimin right?”

Jungkook shrugged him off and scrambled across the couch to get to Jin and me. “Hi,” he greeted. “I’m here.”

The playful atmosphere and Namjoon’s deadpan expression made me giggle, and I reached for Jungkook, trying to pull him onto Jin’s lap with me. Jungkook wiggled his way on, beaming at my smile, and perched nice and proudly on Jin’s lap with me. It was a snug fit with the two of us, and I looked up at Jin, offering a kiss to his chin when he looked at Jungkook and me with an unamused expression.

“My lap,” he said flatly, “was occupied.”

Jungkook grinned cheekily. “Yeah, and now it’s even more occupied. With me.”

“Yes, Jungkook, I’m aware.” Jin pushed the side of Jungkook’s head playfully before ruffling his hair. “Go sit with your hyung.”

“You are my hyung,” was Jungkook’s rejoinder.

“Don’t be smart with me; you know to whom I’m referring.”

“You know to whom I’m referring,” Jungkook mimicked, stifling a pleased giggle when Jin simply stared him down.

“He can sit with us,” I coaxed. “And after we sit for a little while, we can make our blanket fort, right, Jungkook?”

“Right,” he chirped. “A blanket fort with Mr. Stuffins and tea.”

“Mm, yeah, that’s really great,” I decided, curling back up against Jin’s chest and kissing his neck. Looking at Jungkook, I pointed to the side of Jin’s neck that I wasn’t kissing. “Kiss.”

Jungkook looked up at Jin, blushing furiously at my command. “Kiss?” he stammered.

“Yeah.” I pointed again. “Kiss.”

Jungkook slowly shifted his big eyes to Jin, full of question. The latter arched a dark brow in response, his gaze equally as dark and intent.

Jungkook blinked and looked back at Namjoon who didn’t say a word, simply watching. Jungkook, deterred, carefully turned back to Jin.

“I…” he began, cut off when Jin squeezed his hip, and with a squeak, Jungkook pushed himself forward and tentatively pecked Jin’s neck, looking up at him with wide eyes once he had.

Jin didn’t respond, only looking down at Jungkook with the electrifying intensity of his full attention, and Jungkook blinked rapidly before nudging his face forward until he hid in my shoulder.

I patted his back reassuringly, knowing just how intimidating Jin was and what it could make you feel. “You did a good job.”

Jungkook shivered in response.

Jin spoke then, his tone deep and laced with authority. “You have a boyfriend, Jungkook, and I’m not him.”

“Kisses are okay?” I asked Jin. “On the neck? Friends can kiss on the neck.”

Jin shifted his gaze to mine. “Have we asked for Namjoon’s opinion, Faeryn, or are we only listening to yours?”

Jungkook peeked over his shoulder at Namjoon, but the latter was unaffected, simply watching with a neutral expression.

“Friends can kiss,” Jungkook slowly agreed with me. “I kiss Jimin and Hoseok sometimes, but we had—well, we had a long talk about it with Joon before we did anything.”

Curious, I wondered, “Anything?”

Jungkook turned beet red. “Sometimes I like having people watch Joon and me play, and…and maybe join too—but only sometimes when I feel like it!”

I gaped at the reveal. “Have you all had…sex?”

“I—you—I just—” Jungkook clasped his hands over his burning cheeks. “No!”

Jimin’s lips tugged upward. “I don’t think that’s the full truth, now is it, bunny?”

I gasped, whispering shortly after, “You had sex with Jimin.”

Jungkook squeaked again, and in a rushed breath, he exclaimed, “I have a boyfriend!”

He raced off of Jin’s lap and back to Namjoon, earning laughter from Jimin and Hoseok while Namjoon allowed Jungkook to nuzzle back into him.

Jin resituated me to my fully seated position on his firm, thick thighs, setting me with a look I responded to with a sheepish smile.

“What?” I asked innocently. “It was just a kiss on your neck.”

Jungkook whined, hiding himself as best as he could in Namjoon.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused. “Why are you embarrassed to kiss Jin if you had sex with Jimin and kissed Hoseok? Because you didn’t have a lot of long talks about it?”

“I—I don’t…I don’t know,” Jungkook whispered/yelled. “I mean, it’s Jin.”

I frowned as I balled Jin’s sweatshirt into my hand. “Yeah, it’s Jin. He’s the perfect kisser.” To prove my point, I lifted my face and kissed him, earning a low rumble of approval from him. “See? Perfect.”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” Jungkook returned, flustered. “I just—I don’t want…at least, I don’t think I want to kiss him like you do.” He chewed his lip furiously. “He’s Jin.”

“Okay, bub, it’s okay,” Namjoon cut in with a soft chuckle. “You don’t have to kiss him. Faeryn,” he addressed me, keeping his tone soft. “As much as you would like to share Jin, Jin might not want to be shared, and Jungkook might not want to join you and him. Okay? That’s why we ask, not demand.”

“I was just trying to be nice,” I responded. “Because kissing is nice.” I kissed Jin’s neck to prove my point. “See? Nice.”

Jimin chuckled. “She makes good points, Namjoon.”

“Uh-huh,” Namjoon chuckled. “My point still stands, no matter how good her points may be. Ask next time, Faeryn, yes?”

“Yes,” I agreed with a little shrug. “Jin can be all mine.” I looked at him. “Do you want to be all mine? No sharing?”

He grasped my face in his hand and pulled me forward, causing my cheeks to push together. “You belong to us, but I”—his breath warmed my face—“belong to you.”

I swooned, kissing him in response and mewling into it, saying once I leaned back, “Jin’s mine, Jungkook. You can’t have him.”

Jungkook, embarrassed, whined, “It’s okay. I don’t want him. Like that,” he amended. “He’s just Jin. Friend Jin. Hyung Jin. Not…not anything else.”

“Poor Kookie,” Jimin teased. “It’s okay; just relax. No one’s kissing anyone they don’t want to kiss.”

I looped my arms around Jin’s neck and clung to him. “Mine.”

Namjoon arched a brow as he rubbed Jungkook’s back. “Possessive, are we?”

“Mine,” I repeated, tucking my face near Jin’s neck and resting my cheek on his chest.

“You were just fine with sharing him a few minutes ago.”

“Well…now that Jungkook doesn’t want to kiss him and Jin’s said that he’s mine, I don’t want to share anymore.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Uh-huh.”

Taehyung re-entered the room, brightening when he saw my smile. “We have tea!”

I waved. “Have you ever kissed Jungkook before?”

Taehyung nearly dropped the tea as he choked on thin air.

Yoongi patted his back. “No, he has not.”

“Oh.” I looked at Taehyung worriedly. “I’m sorry for asking.”

“It’s okay!” he managed to say through his coughs. “It just—it caught me by surprise, that’s all.” He steadied my cup of tea as the coughing began to subside. “Wow. That was intense.”

“Are you okay?” I asked guiltily.

“Of course, yeah, I’m okay!” he was quick to reassure me as he approached me. “Why the sudden question about kissing Jungkook though? He’s not my type; you are.”

“Taehyung.”

“Yeah?”

“Love you.”

He smiled widely. “I love you, too.”

I grasped his shirt once he was in front of me and pulled him down for a kiss, happily accepting the tea and letting it warm my hands as his lips moved in time with mine.

As we kissed, Yoongi let me know, “If you were wondering, I have not kissed Jungkook either.”

Jungkook whined loudly, earning scattered laughter from around the room.

Taehyung sat beside me on the couch while Yoongi sat on the other side of me, Jin still keeping me firmly planted on his lap.

“So then Jimin and Hoseok are the only ones who join Namjoon and Jungkook sometimes,” I guessed, then brightly added, “Oh! And me.”

“And you,” Jimin teased fondly.

Jungkook groaned, embarrassed. “Change the topic.”

I blinked at him. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked back at me, his lips parting before he rushed out, “I’m not mad at you; you’re my ducky.”

“And you’re my Jungkook.”

His red cheeks switched translated from embarrassed to flustered. “Yeah, I’m—yeah, your Jungkook.”

Namjoon chuckled, patting Jungkook’s back fondly before ruffling his hair. “My baby is getting shy now, hm?”

He squirmed, going right back to whining. “Hyung.”

“Hm? Is hyung lying?”

Jungkook whined some more.

I shifted comfortably in Jin’s lap, taking it upon myself to announce to everyone present, “I’m Namjoon’s baby, too.”

Hoseok chuckled softly. “You’re our baby, sweetheart.”

I started to smile. “Oh yeah.”

“‘Oh yeah’,” Jimin repeated with a light laugh. “Our silly girl.”

I melted closer to Jin. “Yeah, I am.”

Jimin cooed at me, making me slip further into the dizziness that arrived when I felt taken care of, and with all seven of them present, it was hard not to slip. Today seemed to slip away too, just enough for me to breathe easier than before.

“Love you,” I mumbled with a dazed smile.

“I love you too, honey,” he responded fondly. “We all do.”

I sighed, content as I nuzzled my face against Jin’s sweatshirt. “Love you.”

His protective hold on me tightened. “I love you, Faeryn.”

I shivered, clinging to him and lifting my face to nose at his neck before kissing it.

“The fort,” Jungkook wondered. “Are we still making it?”

I nodded tiredly. “Yeah, making it.”

“We can always do it another day,” Taehyung suggested. “If you’re sleepy, Faeryn, you should sleep, okay?”

“But I want to sleep in a fort,” I responded with a yawn. “So I have to make a blanket fort, and I said I would already, so I have to.”

“You don’t have to,” he countered. “Jungkook understands, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Faeryn,” Jungkook breathed out. “We don’t have to if you’re really sleepy. I can just make it by myself.”

I shifted, squirming until I pushed myself off of Jin’s lap and crawled across the couch to Jungkook.

“Need you,” I said, and promptly face-planted into his lap.

He squeaked in surprise, carefully lifting my face and guiding it closer to his. “Faeryn,” he said in a loud whisper. “You fell.”

“Mm…yeah,” I confirmed. “I did that.”

“Poor thing is so sleepy,” Jimin lamented. “Jungkook, hurry up and make the blanket fort with her so she can get some sleep, yeah? Can you go ahead and do that?”

“Yeah, I can, hyung,” Jungkook agreed readily, doing his best to carefully lift me into his arms as he stood. “Don’t worry, ducky,” he whispered to me. “I’ll make the best blanket fort you’ve ever seen for the best sleep you’ve ever had.”

“I’m helping,” I made sure he knew. “You don’t have to do it by yourself, okay? I’m helping.”

“Thanks, Faeryn,” he whispered fervently.

I kissed his cheek languidly. “Best.”

“Best what?”

“You’re the”—I yawned—“best.”

He squeezed me tighter before setting me on the floor near the end of one of the living room couches.

“Okay,” he announced. “Right here is the perfect spot.”

I squinted, then nodded. “Yeah, perfect spot.”

“Why is the perfect spot?” Jimin teased.

“Because Jungkook said so,” I responded.

Jungkook beamed. “Yeah, because Jungkook said so.”

Light laughter filled the room, and I clung to the heels of my feet, rocking back and forth as Jungkook retrieved blankets and furniture to hold them up. Taehyung came over to help, and between the three of us, we finished quickly.

“Time for bed,” I decided, falling forward in a crisscrossed position and laying my cheek on the sides of my feet.

“Aw, poor baby,” Jimin said with a small, fond sigh. “Sleepy girl.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled with another yawn.

“Hang on, sweetheart,” Hoseok said as he stood. “I’ll get you a pillow so you can get some sleep, okay?”

“Pillow?” I echoed. “Mm, I have my feet.”

The others chuckled while Hoseok responded, “Your feet can’t be as comfy as a pillow, can they? Tell Hobi, sweetheart.”

I melted. “No, not comfy like a pillow. Need a pillow, Hobi.”

I heard the smile in his voice. “Thank you for telling me. I’ll get you a nice, comfy pillow.”

“Best.”

“Best what?”

I mumbled my response, my words lost in my feet as I drifted closer to sleep than to reality.

Jungkook carefully eased me into the fort, setting me in an area with my favorite weighted blankets.

“Once we get the pillow,” he told me, “the blanket fort will be perfect.”

“Perfect,” I echoed. “Yeah, perfect.”

Taehyung sat beside me, and I preened, inching forward until my body sagged against his. He kept me from face-planting into his lap, cupping my face to kiss my cheeks a few times before resting my cheek comfortably against his thigh.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly.

“Okay,” I confirmed as I rubbed my cheek against his thigh.

He threaded his fingers through my hair as he rubbed my arm. “You can sleep, Faeryn. I’ll make sure you sleep on the pillow once you’re asleep so you won’t strain your neck.”

“Thank you,” I lisped. “My best crochet buddy.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Your best crochet buddy loves you lots.”

I giggled tiredly. “Yeah, lots. Me too. Love him lots.”

I fell asleep soon after Hoseok brought the pillow and pampered me with soft encouragement to fall asleep and kisses.

Notes:

ahhh some much needed Faeryn and her 7 men time <33 especially after all this Kenley drama 😔 next week's chapter will have more bonding time and some...steamyyyyy time 😈👩‍💻

Chapter 43: Dominating You

Summary:

Faeryn spends some quality time with Yoongi and later ends up tangled up with Jungkook, both of them experimenting with something new sexually.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑

I woke up in the blanket fort, the sun streaming in through the blankets as I slowly sat up. Blinking the sleep away, I looked around, quickly spotting Yoongi leaning against pillows within the fort studiously scrolling through his phone studiously.

Wondering how long he’d been awake and if he was as warm as he looked, I quietly inched out from beneath my weighted blankets and made my way to him, careful not to bump into anyone sleeping.

“Yoongi,” I whispered.

His eyes immediately flickered up to mine, and his features, drowsy and soft, smiled at me before his lips followed suit.

“Faeryn,” he murmured.

I beamed sleepily at him, navigating carefully around a spread out, snoring Taehyung before arriving.

“Yoongi,” I repeated quietly, shining a happy smile up at him. “I’m awake.” I pointed at him. “You too.”

His smile remained, and a quiet chuckle left him. “Yes,” he murmured. “We’re awake.”

I clasped my hands together. “Can we cuddle?”

“Yes,” he responded immediately, lifting his arm up in invitation. “We can.”

Eagerly, I tucked myself into his side, nuzzled my face in his hoodie, inhaled his familiar smell greedily, and promptly settled as his hand nestled against my side, effectively warming me.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, subdued for the sake of everyone’s rest.

“Good,” I decided after I thought about it. “Nightmares aren’t allowed in blanket forts, I don’t think, because I didn’t have any.”

He exhaled deeply. “I am glad to hear that.”

“Me too,” I admitted. “I was…a little scared after yesterday that I would have worse nightmares, but it was okay.” I looked up at him. “I went on the escalators yesterday at the shop.”

He knew what shop I was referring to, all of them well versed in my nightmares just as they were with my dreams.

“How did that feel?” he asked seriously. “Was everything all right?”

“It wasn’t all right at the moment,” I revealed as I chewed my lip. “Well, it was, but it didn’t feel like it. Namjoon held my hand, and the others were right there with me, so I was okay, but my mind made me think I wasn’t.”

I shrugged slightly before curling closer to him. “I’m happy that I did it. I don’t think I would’ve if Namjoon hadn’t helped like he did because I…I said I couldn’t, but he said I could.”

“He believes in you; we all do. He knows what you are capable of even when fear clouds your judgement and tells you otherwise.” He let his hand drift up and down my waist in a reassuring motion. “It is always nice to face our fears with those who believe we can conquer them until we believe the same. It speeds up the process.”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a quick nod. “It helped a lot.” I kissed his chest. “And coming home to everyone was really helpful, even if I did…you know.” I blushed. “Disappeared to my room for a while.”

“It was what you needed to regulate,” he confirmed. “It is always all right to take the time you need.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “And Jungkook was so nice to help me like he did. And so were you.” I kissed his chest again. “To remind me of two weeks.”

“I will always remind you,” he responded in quiet tones. “As you remind me.”

“We remind each other,” I said with a content smile. “It’s what friends do.” I paused as my blush grew. “What boyfriends and girlfriends do.”

“Yes.” His features were slightly flushed. “It is what they do.”

“I like you,” I whispered.

His blush spread; a pretty, light red. “Ah. Yes. I like you too, Faeryn.” His throat bobbed. “Very much.”

“Yoongi?”

“Yes?”

“Do you…well, do you know the word…that means more than like?” I flicked my fingers studiously. “It starts with an ‘L’, too.”

His hand stilled on my waist. “I…believe I know what you are referring to.”

“Do you like that word?”

“I…” He cleared his throat. “I think it is very pleasant, yes.”

“Do you…like it when someone says it to you?”

He had trouble speaking for a moment before resuming, “It is a wonderful feeling, to be loved. Pleasant. I do like hearing it when the person saying it truly means it.”

“And…do you think there’s someone who would really like to say it to you right now?”

He swallowed. “I…I would rather not make assumptions.”

My voice dropped to a whisper. “Does the ‘L’ word make you nervous? Should the person who wants to say it not say it?”

“It…oh, it…ah, well.” He struggled again as his blush spread. “If the person who wants to say it would like to say it, then that is all right by me.” His fingers twitched twice against my waist. “More than all right.”

“More than all right?” I tried as my teeth attacked my poor lip with nervous nibbling.

“Yes, I…I would like to hear it.” He added for clarity, “If they mean it and would like to say it. Otherwise, it is all right not to be said.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I…yes.”

“You…?”

“I just meant to add something.” He cleared his throat again. “In case the person who wants to say it is feeling nervous.”

“Oh.” I nodded quickly. “Okay. That’s a good idea.”

“Ah. Yes. Thank you.” He inhaled unsteadily. “I would say it back, or…if they would like, I would say it first. I will mean it no matter how and when it is spoken.”

I melted, and he tracked the change as his body immediately followed suit.

“Faeryn,” he murmured.

“The person wants to say it first,” I responded in the same tones. “Because they brought it up first.”

He nodded slowly. “All right.”

I clutched his sweatshirt, always so comfortable and warm, and inhaled everything that he meant to me. Calmness, serenity, and an undiluted awareness that I had finally arrived home.

The words were easy to say, and I would have said them even if he didn’t return them. I wanted him to know—needed him to know—how I felt about him. He was steady and firm, truthful and kind, and although he was quieter than the others, his eyes always spoke to me. We always spoke, even if we didn’t say a word. We fit together, quiet and peaceful, but there was always room to smile and play. He was an ocean, and I was swimming in him, letting the soft waves take over me, and when I came up for air, his smile would shine with all the warmth of the sun, and I would smile back.

He was incomparably beautiful in every way someone could be beautiful. And I loved him.

So I told him, breathing out the three words into the softness of his sweatshirt where his heart pounded in his chest. Everything about him was warm, encapsulating me, and I sunk into him as I confessed with my aching chest, “I love you.”

My words set off something in him, and I felt the shift immediately, looking up just in time to watch his pupils dilate. It was primal, the way he suddenly held me and how his gaze filled with the words I confessed.

His throat tightened, his forehead sinched, and he cupped my face in his hands, lifting my face until it was inches from his.

A quiet gasp left me at the suddenness of it all, and before he took the sound to the back of his throat, he rasped, “I love you.”

We kissed slowly at first, but the flicker of passion took over, turning it hungry in seconds.

I waded through the waters, testing it as I shifted closer, wanting the warmth of his body flush against me.

Our proximity had never been as close as the others, and I didn’t mind—not at all—but in this moment, I wanted to be swallowed alive by him.

Knowing his hesitation toward anything sexual, I paused my movement, wondering if sitting closer—and so close to his lap—would be considered sexual, especially as we kissed. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, I returned to where I was—around two inches from him—but he didn’t like that.

A low sound rippled through him, vibrating in his chest and throat, and my body reacted immediately as sharp shivers ransacked me.

He wanted to tell me something, I could tell, but it didn’t seem like he could do it while we kissed. Breaking it slightly, our lips still brushing, I gasped out, “Tell me.”

His throat bobbed as he looked at me, and his breath hitched when my lower lip skimmed his. “You can be closer if you would like to be.”

I cupped his cheek instinctively when I saw the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Keeping my voice quiet, just for us, I asked, “But what would you like?”

He tensed, but when I caressed his cheek as the others so often did to me, he relaxed into me. When he continued to struggle forming his thoughts into words, I let him know, “We can just kiss.”

“I…yes, I would like to just kiss.”

With a small nod, I began to close the distance between our lips, but he grasped my arm and kept me back before lifting his hand and cupping my face tenderly.

“You want to sit with me,” he spoke in our shared space. “You can.”

Breathless, I asked just to make sure, “On your lap?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, slightly breathless himself. “We…we do not need to do anything sexual, even if you are on my lap.” He paused. “Correct?”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I said assiduously. “I can just be on your lap and kiss you. That’s it.”

All the tension flooding his form evaporated. “Yes, I…yes. I would like that very much, Faeryn.”

I tried to kiss him again, but he kept just out of reach.

“Wait,” he spoke against my lips, making me shiver again. “I do not want this to seem like I am rejecting you. I know you struggle with rejection dysphoria, and I don’t want to trigger that at all for you, so if this helps it at all, this is not me rejecting you. It is rejecting”—he turned red—“anything sexual at this moment. But not you.”

His lips brushed mine for a soft kiss. “You are everything and more.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered fervently. “We don’t have to do anything sexual until you’re ready even if you never are, remember? We’re dating because I like you.”

His eyes softened with feeling, and before I could comprehend the movement, he pulled me onto his lap. Settling me comfortably in, he avoided eye contact as his hands rested on my waist to stabilize me.

“Yoongi,” I said quietly.

He dipped his chin.

“Yoongi,” I repeated, carefully lifting his chin. With our newly created eye contact, I inhaled sharply before resting my forehead against his. It was daunting to hold eye contact, but I felt like it was needed, so I held it for a moment longer as I said, “We don’t lie to each other because lying isn’t nice, and it isn’t what best friends do, especially not girlfriends and boyfriends. Lying isn’t nice, so we don’t do it.” I carefully and slowly kissed his nose. “I don’t do it.”

“Faeryn.” His voice was barely heard.

“I’m here,” I responded, mirroring his tone.

“We are having a moment, and you said you loved me, and yet, I am afraid.”

My heart cracked open. “Why?” I whispered.

“I do not want to be lied to about being waited for,” he revealed, hushed and subdued. Humiliated. “I…I am not like the others, Faeryn, as much as I wish I could be. It takes longer to know me, to share my bed, and…I am not sure when I will be ready.”

“It’s okay,” I insisted. “Yoongi, it’s okay.” I used both hands to cup his face. “I love you, and it’s okay. Maybe…maybe you’re worried because you see how I am with the others.” I blushed. “Sexually, you know, we’re all…” I nodded. “You know.”

He blushed with me. “Yes. I know.”

“But everyone’s dynamic is different,” I persisted with my pink cheeks. “And with us—you and me—our dynamic doesn’t include sex right now or maybe ever, and that’s really okay because I love you for you, not for what you can give me sexually or otherwise.” Needing him to truly understand this, I stressed, “Okay?”

He swallowed. “I…I am sorry for taking away from our moment, Faeryn. It was not my intention.”

“This is still our moment,” I refuted with knitted brows. “Communicating about something you’re scared of doesn’t make it any less of a moment. In fact…” I pursed my lips as I thought. “It makes it a better moment because communicating with me means that you trust me enough to.” I smiled brightly at him. “And that’s the best moment I could ever want, so”—I kissed his cheek—“thank you.”

His forehead creased with confusion. “You’re thanking me?”

“I am,” I decided. “Thank you. See?” I kissed his chin. “I did it again.” My lips met the top of his throat. “Thank you.” I gasped playfully. “I said it again. Did you hear me?” I kissed just below his ear. “Thank you. Oh! You heard that one, right? Because I’m right next to your ear.”

I blew softly against the shell of his ear, earning a shiver from him. Trailing kisses up his neck to his ear, I whispered into it, “Thank you.”

He angled his lips to find mine, but instead of kissing me, he nudged his nose against mine. Our eyes flickered to find each other, and a slow smile spread onto both of our lips.

“Love you.” I kissed his upper chin. “I love you, Yoongi.”

The light in his features filled the cracks in my heart with warmth, and I felt like bursting with an overwhelming sense of coming home.

“My Yoongi,” I whispered fervently as I held eye contact again for a passing beat. My thumbs caressed his cheeks. “So pretty.” I kissed his nose once more because I could. “So handsome.”

He melted in my hold, sinking closer and closer until I was certain we were one.

Curling my fingers through his soft hair, I caressed the top of his head, doing the same to the back of it as he nudged our lips back together.

We kissed in time with each other, breathless, content, and warm. We kissed while the sun shone upon us, while the others slept peacefully, and while the coffee maker’s timer switched on and began percolating.

It was warm, it was safe, and above all, it was home. On Yoongi’s lap, within the blanket fort, in the kitchen, in my room, in the backyard—no matter where and no matter when, I was home.

We kissed until our lips were slightly bruised and puffy, and I was enamored with how much softer his lips looked in this state, somehow looking more kissable—something I didn’t think was possible.

“Look at you,” I murmured, drawing his lip down slightly with my thumb. “So pretty.”

His cheeks burned beneath my hold, but he tightened his arms around me in response.

I pecked his bottom lip, lavishing attention before doing the same to his upper lip and each corner of his mouth.

Twining my arms around his neck, my elbows rested on his shoulders as I took my time admiring him and kissing different areas of his face. When I reached his forehead and carefully pushed his hair away to kiss it, he rasped, “Two weeks.”

My eyes lowered to his. “Two weeks?”

“I found you,” he said coarsely, his voice brimming with feeling. “After the two weeks.”

He looked so soft at that moment, and although I was on his lap, it suddenly felt as if I was holding him together.

I dipped my face to his. “You found me.”

His jaw set in an attempt to prevent his chin from wobbling, but it was futile.

“There’s always an end to two weeks,” I told him quietly.

“There is,” he managed.

I grasped his chin to stabilize it, kissing it to soothe the light tremble. “Because we said.”

His lips pulled into a quivering smile. “Because we said.”

“It’s okay,” I consoled him with the softest tone available to me. “You and me, we’re safe. Past relationships don’t matter anymore, and…whatever happened that makes you feel a little scared that I won’t stay unless we have sex, that won’t happen anymore.”

I kissed the side of his mouth as I began to smile. “That’s the good thing about yesterdays.”

“The good thing about yesterdays?” he questioned shakily.

“The good thing about yesterdays,” I confirmed, rubbing comfort into his cheek as I concluded, “they never happen again.”

He looked at me for a moment, simply looked, and I felt the depth of it without needing him to speak on it, but when he did speak, I felt it even more.

“I don’t know,” he said, nearly a whisper. “When this moment becomes yesterday, I would like to revisit.”

My heart thrummed in my chest. “We can make todays good with the happiness of yesterdays and the hopes of better tomorrows.”

His features shifted, and then—his smile appeared, soft and laced with sincerity. “That is beautiful.” He exhaled deeply. “You are so beautiful.”

“So are you,” I murmured. “You made this morning so beautiful even when yesterday wasn’t, and I…I really think that’s so beautiful, so thank you, Yoongi, for finding me after the two weeks ended.”

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely. “For finding me.”

I hugged him tightly, breathing easily as his hands warmed my back and shoulders.

With a kiss to his neck as the minutes passed breezily, I asked, “What do you think about kissing while we drink coffee?”

He kissed my forehead, smiling softly when my features shone up at him. “I think I would love to kiss you while we drink coffee.”

“It’s the perfect morning activity, isn’t it?”

“I would say so.”

“Me too, because I would say so, too. And I am saying so.” I gave him a kiss before crawling off of his lap and out of the blanket fort, motioning for him to follow.

We kept low until we exited the blanket fort, standing once we left and stretching to alleviate any tension.

With a content sigh, I held my hand out to him. He laced his fingers with mine, and smiling at each other, he said, “It has been a wonderful morning.”

“Kisses and coffee with Yoongi and Faeryn,” I said with a big smile. “The most wonderful morning.”

His features were ever so soft as he looked at me, and as his throat constricted before loosening with a hard swallow, he voiced with feeling, “I love you, Faeryn.”

I kissed the top of his hand and nuzzled into his side. “I love you, Yoongi.”

Pulling him forward toward the kitchen, I stopped when he didn’t make a move to follow me. Looking back at him, I waited with a questioning look.

He was quiet for a moment, simply looking at me, and with a glance back at the blanket fort, he put his full attention on me.

“Two weeks,” he said as the depth of his words filled the air around us, spinning and spinning. “They’re really ending.”

My chest ached. “They are.”

“I…I have something to tell you.”

I nodded to show I was listening. “Do you want to tell me in the kitchen?”

He nodded. “Yes. I would like to tell you in the kitchen.” He looked back at the fort for the final time before allowing me to lead him into the light of the kitchen, the sun warming the floors, the walls, and our faces.

“Here we are,” I announced cheerily, spreading my arms out wide. “The kitchen.” I pointed to the coffee. “It’s waiting for us.”

He half-smiled. “Yes. It is.”

I patted his hand. “What do you want to tell me?”

“It is nothing bad,” he told me. “It is…something I hope to be good.”

“Oh.” I nodded my encouragement. “I hope so too.”

He took a few deep breaths, and finally, he met my gaze with a sheepish expression. “I am beginning therapy this week. I…I made it official last night.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised, and when he nodded tentatively, I wrapped him up into a hug. “That must have been a little scary.”

“Not very scary,” he told me. “Although, it was slightly daunting.”

I rubbed his back. “Is it going to help with depression?”

“That is the plan.”

I pulled away and cupped his face once more. “It will help; I just know it.”

He smiled softly. “Thank you.”

“And I’m really proud of you for doing it even if it’s daunting.”

“Thank you,” he murmured. “I…I have been feeling steadily better this past month or two, and I do not want to lose that. I am hoping the therapist will have coping mechanisms for me to follow because although the medication I’m currently on began working around last month, I would like to find the root of the depression so I can try to soothe its effects.”

“That’s really great,” I praised.

“I think so,” was his soft response. “And I hope it will benefit me.”

“I’m so happy you’ve been feeling better,” I said with a full heart. “You deserve to feel happy and peaceful, Yoongi, even without an ocean nearby. You deserve so much.”

“You do as well, Faeryn,” he affirmed. “You deserve so much more than you’ve had.”

I hugged him again. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

I breathed him in, smelling the coffee in the process. “It smells good in here.”

“Ah, yes. The aroma is pleasant.”

“You too,” I told him. “You smell good.”

I leaned back to catch his blush, beaming at the sight. “Pretty,” I praised, earning more of the beautiful red color.

I took his hand again. “Do you want espresso in your coffee?”

“Yes, I do. Do you?”

“Mm, yes! I want a latte.”

“I will have it black.”

I stuck my tongue out. “As long as you like it.”

He smiled. “I do.”

“All yours, then,” I chirped. “Oh! Do you think we should surprise the others and make them coffee and breakfast? I can show you how to make this cool breakfast recipe Jin taught me recently. Do you want to?”

“I would like that very much.”

I cheered quietly, and tugging him forward, I grabbed my strawberry cup and his black cup as I talked about Jin’s breakfast recipe.

Neither of us could stop smiling.

When we went to wake the others up once breakfast and coffee were ready, I jumped onto Taehyung, squealing with laughter when he groaned and immediately pulled me into a crushing embrace.

“Faeryn,” he mumbled, his morning voice deep and gravelly. “You’re a jumping bean today?”

“Yup!” I chirped. “A really great jumping bean. Isn’t that cool?”

He released an ‘oomph’ when I shifted in our hold to push him onto his back, and I giggled when his sleepy features struggled to form the playful stern expression he tried to conjure. When he realized this, he started to laugh with me, easing me from side to side as we hugged.

“I’m awake!” Jungkook announced as he sat up abruptly and falling back into his pillows in the span of two seconds. “Awake, I am, super awake.”

Namjoon grunted from beside him, narrowly dodging Jungkook’s fist to his face. “Careful.”

“Joon,” I sang.

“Mm, baby, what is it?” he asked as he ran a tired hand over his face.

“Yoongi and I made breakfast and coffee for everyone!”

“Mhm, that’s nice.” He turned onto his side as if he was going back to sleep, and I demanded, “Wake up!”

He grabbed a nearby pillow—which just so happened to be homing Jungkook’s head—and put it over his face as he sighed.

Jungkook protested immediately, flailing around in search of his stolen goods before climbing onto Namjoon and pushing his face into the pillow.

Namjoon grunted and squeezed Jungkook’s thigh. “Off, bub.”

“My pillow,” Jungkook complained. “Give me my pillow.”

“Get off and I will.”

“Get off?” Jimin asked from the other side of the blanket fort, awake and scrolling through his phone. “It’s a little early for anything sexual, no?”

“Ugh, hyung, stop it,” Jungkook huffed.

Jimin chuckled, catching my eyes over the top of his phone and smiling. “Look at you. How can you look so pretty this early in the morning, honey? Always so pretty, my sweet girl.”

“Our sweet girl,” Jin corrected, rasp tinting his tone as he rubbed his temples. “Watch your wording.”

“Oh, hush,” Jimin teased. “She is mine.”

“Not solely.”

“Jealous, jealous, jealous,” Jungkook sang off-key purposefully, earning low laughter from Jimin and an unamused brow lift from Jin.

“No fighting,” I scolded. “We haven’t had breakfast yet.”

“Ah, so we can fight once we’ve had breakfast?” Jimin questioned playfully.

I pointed my fingers at him. “Be nice.”

He pointed back at me with an easy, teasing smile. “I am.”

I patted the blankets. “Come on, come on, everyone. Breakfast!”

Jin tilted his head on his pillow to look at me. “It smells very nice.”

“Do you know what it is?”

His lips twitched. “I do.”

“Then come eat!” Excited, I patted the blankets again. “It’ll be so good.”

“Mm.” He rubbed the side of his face. “I know it will.”

I beamed and turned to share a thumbs-up with Yoongi who was waiting outside of the blanket fort with his cup of coffee, not wanting to spill it on the blankets.

“Hoseok’s still sleeping,” Taehyung told me as he made his way out of the blanket fort, but not before kissing my cheek and patting my thigh. “He would love it if you were the one to wake him up.”

I beamed. “Okay!” I turned to watch him leave the blanket fort. “Where are you going?”

“I want to brush my teeth,” he said as he retreated to the bathroom. “But I’ll be back in time for breakfast, so don’t worry! I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” I called after him. “Bye!”

“Bye!” was his fading response.

Clambering over to a soundly sleeping Hoseok who looked very comfy and soft, I shimmied my way under his blankets and happily inhaled his vanilla-scented form as I laid my cheek on his pillow.

Easing closer, wrapped my arm around his upper abdomen, I intertwined my leg with his and pressed my nose to his neck for several good morning kisses.

“Hobi,” I coaxed. “Good morning, Hobi, good morning.” I nosed into his neck and lay my face comfortably within it, sighing contentedly as his comforting, vanilla warmth spread through me. “Breakfast is ready.”

He hummed in response, low and tired.

“Hobi,” I breathed out. “You’re awake?”

He hummed again, this time pulling me closer and patting my leg before caressing it.

“Are you for real awake?” I wondered. When he didn’t respond, I kissed his neck a few times, breathing into them, “Faeryn is telling you that breakfast is ready.”

A low rumble left him, and he lifted me up until he could press a quick kiss to my cheek, his eyes remaining closed through it all.

I entreated, “Wake up to this really exciting breakfast news.”

His throat bobbed as he grew more accustomed to reality, his brows drawn tightly together as a yawn built itself in his throat. He pressed his lips together when his feeling to yawn disappeared, and with a low sigh, he tugged me back to his neck, patting my back as if coaxing me back to sleep.

“Wake up,” I persisted. “Breakfast is ready.”

A soft groan left him, and he turned, making me squeak with surprise when he caged me beneath him. Hovering above me, our chests barely inches apart, he kissed me, slow and deep as I sunk into his pillows.

With one hand on my waist and one hand cupping my face, he gave me a few more kisses before squeezing my hip and sighing deeply.

“Hobi,” I tried again, flushing from his kisses. “Are you awake for real now?”

A light crease formed between his brows, caused by exhaustion. “I’m very tired, sweetheart. Can breakfast wait?”

“No,” I insisted.

“It can’t wait?” He nudged his nose against mine. “Mhm.”

“Yeah, it can’t wait, so wake up and have breakfast. Everyone else is awake!”

“Have a little mercy on me.” He kissed my cheek chastely. “I’ve been awake for less than five minutes.”

“Breakfast,” I persuaded. “I made it special for everyone.”

“Did you?” He sighed, soft and pleasant. “That was very sweet of you to do.”

“Yeah,” I confirmed matter-of-factly. “Because I’m your sweetheart, so I’m sweet.”

A low chuckle left him. “That’s right.”

When he tried to fall back to sleep, I whined and cupped his face, insisting, “Wake up.”

He blew air through his lips, making my hair shift around my face slightly. “I’ll wake up in an hour.”

“Breakfast will be cold in an hour!” I protested. “Hobi, please, I need you.”

My words struck a chord with him, and his eyes re-opened to settle on me. Lifting a brow, his features softened when they examined my hopeful expression.

“All right.” He sat up with a low groan, taking me with him. “What’s for breakfast?”

I beamed, ecstatic. “Come and see!”

He followed me out of the blanket fort, and as soon as we stood, he effortlessly lifted me to his arms and nudged his cheek against mine, pressing a kiss to it as he carried me to the kitchen.

I enjoyed his languid kisses as we arrived at the table, and excited, I squirmed to get down, beaming once my feet touched the floor.

“Tada!” I exclaimed. “A breakfast that Yoongi and I made together. Oh! And coffee.” I clasped my hands together eagerly as I rocked side to side with anticipation and excitement. “What do you think?”

“It smells incredible, sweetheart,” he praised as he pulled out a chair for me. “You and Yoongi did a great job, and it was very nice of you to make breakfast for everyone.”

I clapped my hands together happily before taking a seat and patting the one beside me for Yoongi to join me. He did without hesitation, and before Hoseok could sit on the other side of me, Jungkook barreled into the room and claimed that chair. In response to Hoseok’s amused, lifted brow, Jungkook said cheekily, “Finders keepers.”

Hoseok ruffled his hair with a fond chuckle, opting for the seat beside Namjoon who had walked in soon after Jungkook.

Jin entered next, followed by Jimin and Taehyung, the latter giving me a big smile to show off his freshly brushed teeth.

“Ugh, hyung,” Jungkook complained. “Put those away.”

Taehyung put a hand to his heart in faux hurt. “My pearly whites?” He flashed his teeth again, only furthering Jungkook’s complaints.

“Why don’t you like his teeth?” I asked.

“He doesn’t need to brush his teeth before breakfast,” Jungkook said adamantly as he chomped into his food. Through a mouthful, he concluded, “He’ll have bad breath after breakfast anyway.”

“I won’t,” Taehyung countered. “And besides, you should always brush your teeth first thing in the morning to get rid of the bacteria that built up overnight.”

“I can just eat the bacteria,” Jungkook shot back. “If it’s already in my mouth, it won’t hurt me.”

Jin cut in with a stern, “There is no consensus on when brushing your teeth is best, only that you pick a time and abide by it. Now eat the breakfast Yoongi and Faeryn took time out of their morning to make for us.”

Jungkook looked offended. “Hyung.”

Jin sat down at the head of the table as per usual. “Jungkook.”

Jungkook pushed his food around with his chopsticks as he decided, “That was mean.”

“What’s mean is hearing bickering before I’m fully awake,” was Jin’s curt and final response.

Taehyung snickered at the look Jungkook sent to him, winking as he began eating.

“See?” Jungkook whispered loudly. “He’s dirtying his teeth.”

“Jungkook,” Jin reprimanded.

“Ugh, hyung, I’m just saying,” Jungkook defended with a roll of his eyes.

“Jungkook,” I whispered. “That’s not nice.”

Jungkook looked at me, and his voice dropped to a mumble as his cheeks grew hot. “I was just saying.”

“Jin just wants to enjoy breakfast without bickering, okay?” I told him with a reassuring thigh pat. “He’s not mad at you; he just needs breakfast.”

Jungkook muttered some more.

“Jungkook,” I warned lightly, effectively grabbing his attention.

With wide eyes, he blinked back at me as he rushed to say, “Sorry, Faeryn. I won’t talk about brushing teeth right now anymore, I promise.”

I kissed his cheek. “Thank you, my best Jungkook.”

He blushed, and with a shrug, he resumed eating—but not without a quick glance at Jin. The latter still held Jungkook in his gaze, watching my interaction with him intently.

Jungkook, seeming to understand the implication in Jin’s attention, refrained from a sigh and offered, “Sorry for my attitude, hyung.”

Jin nodded curtly. “Eat your breakfast.”

Jungkook obeyed with a sigh, averting eye contact with a grinning Taehyung as he chomped away.

“What’s wrong, Kookie?” Jimin teased. “Sleep on the wrong side of the blanket fort?”

Jungkook glared at him. “It’s not funny. My back really hurts.”

“Why does it hurt?” Namjoon was the first to ask.

“My sleeping position,” Jungkook grumbled. “Because you were stealing my pillows.”

Namjoon arched a brow. “I don’t steal pillows.”

“Really?” Jungkook muttered, unimpressed. “Because my hurt back says that you do.”

“Backs can speak now, bub?”

“Ah,” Jimin said with a content sigh. “Nothing like a lover’s quarrel to start the day right.”

Jungkook huffed. “Leave me alone.” He glanced at me. “Not you, Faeryn. You don’t have to leave me alone.”

“Oh, what’s this new development?” Jimin teased. “Jungkook has favorites?” He clicked his tongue. “Namjoon, did you know your boyfriend prefers your girlfriend? How tragic.”

Jungkook sighed loudly. “Hyung, you’re annoying.”

“Oh, am I?” Jimin’s lips eased into an easy, teasing smile. “I had no idea.”

I rested my palm on my cheek as I listened to the bickering, lost in my haze revolving around my Yoongi and my love confession. From beside me, his hand was clasped in mine as we ate, only furthering my dreamy state.

“Hyung,” Jungkook demanded Namjoon. “Tell Jimin hyung to leave me alone.”

Namjoon responded drily, “You and I are currently in a lover’s quarrel, remember?”

Jungkook groaned exaggeratedly. “Just pause it for a second to scold Jimin hyung.”

Namjoon flicked his hand dismissively in Jimin’s direction. “Stop teasing Jungkook.”

Jungkook gaped. “That was said with no effort! Hyung,” he insisted, “that does not count.”

“Oh?”

“No!”

Namjoon hid a smile behind his fist. “Jimin, oh sweet, annoying Jimin, please be a dear and stop annoying our poor Jungkook. He’s trying to pout, whine, and eat in peace.”

“Oh, of course,” Jimin said with a sigh. “How could I be so heartless and stop him from whining and pouting like the crybaby that he is? Oh, how I’ll never forgive myself.”

Jungkook dragged his palm over his face before snapping, “Leave me alone!”

Taehyung stifled a laugh, shrugging innocently when Jungkook glared at him.

I patted Jungkook’s hand soothingly. “Your hyungs are just teasing you, okay? Don’t let them rile you up. You’re okay.”

He shrugged with an angry sniffle. “I’m just tired, and my back hurts, and I can’t eat in peace because they won’t stop bothering me like flies.”

“Ah. I’m being degraded into a fly.” Jimin shoved Namjoon’s shoulder lightly. “You’re usually the one doing the degrading, so this must feel strange to you.”

Jungkook and I blushed, earning a wink from Jimin.

I held my chin high as I told Jungkook, “Just try to ignore the teasing. Your breakfast is good, right?”

“Yeah, good,” he muttered. “Because you made it, so of course it’s good. Everything you make is good.”

“Thank you,” I said, touched. “Yoongi helped, too.”

“Yeah, Yoongi hyung did a good job, too,” Jungkook said with an annoyed shrug.

“Oh, Jungkook,” I empathized. “You don’t feel too good.”

He shook his head glumly.

“Do you want to finish breakfast and maybe take a nap?” I asked. “It’s still pretty early.”

He hung his head. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” I consoled. “Then you can take a nap.”

He peeked up at me. “Will you take a nap with me?” Pointedly, he added, “You won’t steal my pillows.”

“Uh-huh,” Namjoon said drily. “I’m sure she won’t.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook said snippily. “She won’t.”

Tired and in pain, Jungkook pushed his chair closer to mine and completely neglected his food to lay his head on my lap. Instinctively wanting to make him feel better, I caressed his hair and did my best to soothe him with comforting words and reassuring promises for a nap.

He settled rather quickly, completely ignoring Namjoon’s prompts for him to eat, and eventually, he began to fall asleep.

“He’s really tired,” I told Namjoon with pleading eyes. “He can finish his food later, okay?”

With his arms folded across his chest, Namjoon leaned back in his seat, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he considered this. When Jungkook’s quiet yawn sounded, and a little, tired whimper followed shortly after, Namjoon conceded easily.

“All right,” he agreed. “He can finish breakfast after a nap. Sleep with your head parallel to the rest of your body, bub,” he instructed. “You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

Jungkook mumbled in response, and getting up, he took my hand and led me upstairs to his room. Once in his bed, he pulled me beneath the blankets with him, nosed into my hair, curled up close to me, and fell asleep.

I ensured his head was parallel with the rest of his body like Namjoon advised, and I melted as his nose scrounged in his sleep before a content sigh left him.

“So cute,” I whispered with a gentle kiss to his forehead. “My cute Jungkook.”

I held him as he slept, and although I wasn’t too tired, I closed my eyes and enjoyed his warmth. Along the line, I fell asleep, my stomach full of food and my heart bursting with love for my home—and the piece of it in my arms.

Three hours passed, and I woke up first. He was soon to follow with his sleep yawns and drowsy blinks, breathing out my name when he saw me and kissing my face with his soft, cushiony lips.

“Sleepy?” I murmured, giggling when he kissed my lips sloppily, his brows furrowed as he struggled to fully wake up.

With a frustrated groan, he untangled his arms from the blankets and cupped my face, keeping my face stable as he aimed to kiss my lips, unfortunately missing his target for my chin. With an indignant sound of protest, he tried again, this time catching my lips for a steadier kiss. He sunk into it, humming as he slipped his tongue into my mouth to taste me.

“Good,” he mumbled, dazed and satisfied as his tongue lapped over mine. “So good.”

I preened, curling my hands through his hair to keep him close. My other hand patted his lower back, earning a pleasant sigh from him and a firmer grip on my face.

When he pulled back, he nuzzled into my chest, pressing scattered kisses along it before settling.

“Do you feel better?” I wondered quietly, keeping my down so he could gently ease into reality again. “You were a little grumpy.”

He rubbed his face around in my chest. “That’s because”—he yawned—“they were mean to me.”

“They were just teasing,” I consoled.

He inhaled me greedily. “Yeah. They think I react funny to teasing when I’m tired.”

“You act cute.” I coursed my fingers gently through his hair. “You’re always cute, but sleepy Jungkook is super cute especially all grumpy and pouty.”

He looked up at me, grunted, and reburied his face in my chest. “Maybe.”

“Not maybe.” I gently patted his back. “It’s true.”

He wiggled closer to me, making me yelp with surprise as he pushed me sideways and shifted above me. It lasted a moment with his soft hair falling over his sleepy, dewy eyes as he looked at me with features full of adoration, and then he reclaimed my chest as his pillow and shifted his thigh between mine.

Heaving out a content sigh, he kissed my chest. “My ducky.”

I giggled a bit at our new positioning and hugged him tightly. “Your ducky.”

“Maybe I’m cute.” His words were muffled by his positioning. “But no one will ever be cuter than you.”

“But you’re—”

He lifted his face to silence my protests with a kiss. “No,” he said simply, and pecked my neck. “It’s you. You’re the cutest. Hyungs all agree.” Cheekily, he added, “It’s seven against one.”

I pushed his shoulder playfully. “I’ll bat my eyelashes and get them all on my side.”

His lips parted. “That’s not playing fair.”

I wiggled my brows. “You’re the one who told me how much it affected them.”

He thought about this before kissing me repeatedly. “Even if hyungs are on your side, I know you’re the cutest. No one can change my mind.”

“No—”

He kissed me.

“Jungkook—”

He kissed me again and again, preventing me from speaking coherently, and flustered, I gripped his neck and pulled back. More out of surprise, he allowed it, blinking at me with big eyes.

“Be nice,” I scolded lightly. “I can think you’re cuter than me.”

“Okay,” he agreed but added beneath his breath, “But I’m not.”

I patted his neck and raised my brows. “You know I can hear you.”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever?”

He blinked. “No.” Pressing his cheek against mine, he nuzzled against it apologetically. “Sorry.”

I caressed his hair. “You have to be nice. Doesn’t Namjoon show you what happens when you have an attitude?”

He turned a bright red. “Faeryn.”

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“Yeah, but—” His blush spread, and he struggled for a moment before coming up with, “I’m telling the truth too when I say you’re cuter.”

I scrunched my nose. “That’s not true; that’s just your opinion.”

“The true opinion,” he mumbled, averting his eyes when I gave him a look.

“What I just said was true,” I countered huffily. “If I told Namjoon to come up here and told him about your attitude, you know what he would do.”

Jungkook’s throat tightened. “You would tell him?”

“Namjoon doesn’t want anyone being mean to me just like he doesn’t want anyone being mean to you, so he’ll take you to his room and—”

He squeaked. “Faeryn!”

I blinked. “Yeah?”

“You can’t just say that,” he sputtered.

“I can’t?” I wondered, confused. “Why not?”

“Because I just woke up,” he stammered. “So I’m already—you know—and it’ll just make it hurt.”

My lips formed an ‘O’. “Morning wood,” I whispered, only making his blush worse.

“Faeryn,” he insisted, strained.

“It’s okay,” I was quick to assure him, and with a gentle pat to his hip, I coaxed, “You can move closer.”

“I can?” he asked, surprised. “I…I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You won’t,” I promised. “It’s okay; we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. We’ve already had…” It was my turn to blush as I said in a quieter tone, “Sex.”

With a strained breath, he bucked his hips forward, earning my gasp when I felt how hard he was. Grinding forward, he asked breathily, “Is this okay? Can I—can I grind on you, Faeryn?”

“Yeah,” I stammered. “Yeah, you—yeah, it’s okay, you can.”

With an eager, compressed grip, he held my hips in place, rearranged me into a better position, and ground against me, allowing me to feel him through the thick layering of his sweatpants.

With a breathy groan, he kissed me frantically, but when his quick pace made the bed shake, I gripped his thigh and—

He jolted, and a sharp gasp left him. “Faeryn, you—”

We blinked at each other wide equally as wide eyes, and I didn’t miss how his cock twitched in its confinement.

Strained, he spoke with quiet uncertainty, “Hit my leg?”

I swallowed and shook my head quickly.

“You…you did,” he pointed out.

“No,” I returned, high-pitched. “It…it was like what Namjoon does. Like…a punishment.”

“Like…spanking?”

I nodded quicker than before. “Yeah.”

His blush traveled to his ears. “What…what did I do?”

“Going too fast,” I whispered. “The bed was shaking.”

Embarrassment raked over his features. “I’m so—I’m really sorry. I was just…” He trailed off and looked away, and a whine slipped past his parted, puffy lips. “Excited.”

“You have to be gentle.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “Was…was it okay that I…you know…spanked you like that?”

He stammered incoherently before giving up. With a nod, he shifted closer to me experimentally, looking at me hopefully for guidance.

Parroting Jin, I said, “Words.”

He rushed out, “Yes, it was okay.”

I patted his thigh for consolation—for him and for myself. “Okay. Good job. You’re doing really good.”

He exhaled with relief. “Thank you.”

I shivered, and he immediately rubbed warmth into my arm.

“Okay?” he asked, concerned.

“Okay,” I reassured him, red hot. “I’m not cold. You just…this just…” I shivered again. “I like it.”

His pupils dilated. “Do you want me to try again? I can be softer.”

A bundle of excitement, I showed a quick nod. “Okay.”

Invigorated, he pressed his hips experimentally against mine, rolling them forward until earning a reaction from me. Kissing my parted lips as I moaned, he licked around my mouth before sucking my tongue fervently. With a kiss to the tip of it, he peppered kisses on my face and neck until he reached my collarbones. Sucking and kissing to leave his mark, he continued grinding against me, keeping me steady and close.

“Is this okay?” he asked through sharp gasps. “I don’t really do this with Namjoon, so I’m…I don’t really know how.”

“You don’t?”

He blushed. “He’s…well, he’s the one who takes care of me. He lets me grind sometimes, but he knows I would rather be…” His blush grew. “Taken care of.”

I squirmed, and a whine left me. “I can do that.”

“Do that?” he asked, confused. “What can you do?”

I gripped the back of his thighs and patted them when he stopped grinding, making them move out of muscle memory.

“Take care of you,” I told him, unable to fully suppress the eagerness tainting my tone. “Like Namjoon does.”

He stammered nonsensical words before forming a coherent sentence. “But you’re Faeryn. I like when we had…sex,” he whispered the last word. “And I don’t…I mean, Namjoon and I have sex, but he’s the one…doing it. I liked having sex with you.”

“Me too,” I agreed quickly. “But I…I want you to feel taken care of.”

“I do,” he insisted with big eyes. “You always make me feel taken care of.”

“Even if it’s different from Namjoon?”

“Yeah, it’s true.” He nudged our noses together. “I just—I wanted you to know that I’m not the best at this because I haven’t really done it. I mean, except for the time we did it, but…I can get better.” Determination shone through. “I can, and I want to.” He regarded me fervently. “For you.”

Melting, I looped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “I can…help you if you want.”

“Help me? How?”

“Well…” My fingers trailed up to his ass, and he gasped when I offered a firm squeeze. It felt nice, and a quiet moan left me. “Like this?”

“Yeah,” he stammered, pushing back into my hand for more. “Like this.”

“Okay,” I agreed, invigorated. “Like this.” With another squeeze, I continued, “I’ve had sex with the others—except for Yoongi—so I know what they do to make me feel good, even if they all have different techniques.”

“Techniques,” he repeated, barely heeding my words as I continued fondling him. “Okay.”

I slapped his ass, earning a sharp yelp from him. “Pay attention,” I chided.

Panting, he nodded quickly. “I will.”

My body burned up. “And?”

“And…” He thought quickly and blurted, “I’m sorry for not paying attention. It just felt really nice.”

“What felt really nice?”

“That…you know.” He ground forward before pushing his ass into my hands. “This.”

“What’s ‘this’?”

He groaned, the sound laced with shy pleasure. “It feels good that you’re touching my ass.”

Pleased with his response, it felt like I was soaring off of the high of earning it. “Good job,” I praised, soothing my hand lower to reach his cock. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Oh,” he breathed out. “That’s okay. You’re welcome.”

With my other hand, I lifted it to caress his hair, earning a grateful nuzzle from him. “Whose technique do you want to learn?”

“I don’t know.” He chewed his lip. “Can I mix it with what I did when we had sex, or was that too…” His blush reached his ears. “Quick?”

“You made me feel good,” I reassured him. “We both finished…quickly.” Averting my eyes, I took a deep breath to steady my arousal. “But…we want to last longer than that this time, right?”

“Right,” he confirmed immediately, looking at me for guidance. “We want that.”

“Okay,” I mused. “What about…Hoseok?”

“Hoseok?”

“Well…you’ve kissed him before, so you know he’s more on the soft side. I last longer with him.” I squirmed beneath him. “Okay?”

“Hoseok hyung,” he said quietly. “We’ve…kissed and done a little more.”

My eyes widened. “Not sex, right? He never told me.”

“No, it was just grinding,” he hurried to confirm. “And it was just…me.” He huffed out a strained breath. “I was…I don’t know. A little needy because Namjoon was promoting his new album so he wasn’t around much, and all three of us already talked and said our dynamic was okay, so…Hoseok noticed and said it was okay if I needed to grind to feel better.”

My pupils dilated. “You did?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip before poking the inside of his cheek. “I didn’t last long, but…” He hung his head. “I get too excited.”

“It’s okay to get excited,” I soothed as I tried not to squirm at the visual he was painting for me. “It makes me feel happy when you get excited—like I made you that excited.”

“You do,” he attested assiduously. “You really do, Faeryn. I just—I see you, and you’re always so, so pretty, and you like me, so I just get really excited. And when you kiss me—I love when you kiss me.”

His chest rose and fell rapidly, and his cock twitched against my thigh. “I like you so much.”

A whimper built in my throat. “I like you so much, too.”

His eyes quickly took in my features and quick breathing. “Can you teach me how to make you feel good?”

I shivered. “You already do.”

“But like…Hoseok?” He kissed my cheek, savoring me. “So we can last longer?”

“I’ll try,” I said shakily, struggling to keep up my tough exterior.

He shifted to the side and sat up straight. “I’m ready.”

I giggled breathlessly. “You can relax.”

He paused before slumping his shoulders. “Like this?”

“No, just”—I reached forward and gently pushed his shoulders into a neutral position—“like this. Like Jungkook.”

“But if I’m too relaxed, I’ll get too excited.” He straightened back up. “I have to focus.”

“Jungkook,” I reassured laughingly. “It’s okay. We’ll just take it slow, okay?”

“I…okay.” He looked at me worriedly. “I want to make you feel good like hyungs do.”

I cupped his cheek, furrowing my brows. “You do.”

He gnawed on his lip. “Can we kiss?”

I softened my tone. “Are you nervous?”

He nodded. “A little.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted anxiously. “I’m not really good at this.”

“You are,” I refuted gently. “Hey.” I caressed his cheek. “Why don’t we do something…different?”

His voice dipped. “I can’t try?”

“Oh, Jungkook.” I kissed his nose. “You’re nervous, and I want to calm you down. I want to make you feel good, too.”

“What…are we going to do differently?”

“Well…” I trailed my hand down from his chest to the front of his pants, enjoying how he tensed with eager anticipation. “I could make you feel good and relax you. When you’re relaxed, maybe you won’t go as quickly, and we can last longer. It’s okay,” I added, “if we end up going fast. We’re just…foreplaying right now. Okay? It’s not a bad thing to go quickly. Not with me. It’s okay.”

“Oh.” He noticeably relaxed. “Thank you, Faeryn.”

I kissed him softly. “Thank you for trying this with me.” I pulled back to kiss his nose, and in a cheekier tone, I added with a light pat to his inner thigh, “I’m having fun.”

He bucked into my hand. “Me too. I’m—I’m having fun, too.” His eyes looked imploringly into mine. “Can I touch you?”

“Mm…” I ghosted my fingers over his lower stomach. “Not yet. Can you be patient? I want to go first.”

“Go first? You mean touch me first?” Excitement swirled in his irises. “Okay, I can wait.”

“Thank you,” I gushed. “Is this how sweet you are for Namjoon?”

His eyelashes fluttered as he nodded eagerly.

“Really?” I tugged him forward by his shirt, earning his face closer to mine. “Does he reward you?”

His pulse quickened, beating wildly beneath the skin of his wrist. “Yeah.”

I played with his sweatpants’ drawstring. “How?”

“Touches me,” he stammered.

“Where?”

He inhaled sharply. “My dick.”

“Here?” I rubbed his cock through his sweatpants before teasing them down. “Does that feel good?”

He struggled to keep still. “Really good, thank you.”

“So polite,” I praised, barely able to control my fondness. “You’re so cute.” Lowering my face to his cock once I’d pulled his boxers down the slightest bit, I pressed a kiss to the head. “So is this. So cute.”

“Thank you,” he stammered.

“For what?”

“For saying I have a cute cock.”

I rewarded him with scattered kisses up and down his cock, biting back my smile when I noticed how tightly he held the sheets for stability.

“Relax,” I reminded him. “I’ll make you feel good, and then you can”—my cheeks turned a bright red, and I shivered with anticipation—“fuck me.”

“I can fuck you?” He shuddered with excitement and relief. “Thank you, Faeryn.”

I hid my smile in a mouthful of cock, sucking lightly to make him feel good but not to overstimulate him. Licking around the head, I took his precum with me, using my hands to gently pump him and play with his balls.

“Oh, Faeryn,” he breathed out, his voice wound with pleasure and anticipation. “Thank you, thank you. I—I needed you so bad.”

I hummed around his cock, and the vibrations made him shudder.

Lifting my mouth off his cock with a popping sound, I swiped my tongue up and down his shaft before swallowing him deeper. He became putty in the sheets, his grip tightening before loosening, and his chest heaved with desperation.

My mouth relaxed him but kept him eager all the same, and when I sucked on the head momentarily, I let our eyes meet, and he released a guttural groan intertwined with need.

“Faeryn,” he begged.

I held back my whine, trying to stay strong. “You sound so pretty.”

Another shudder ripped through him. “Please, I’m relaxed now. I want to feel you, and I’ll be gentle. I won’t go too fast.”

I kissed his cock and lifted my face to his, slipping my tongue into his mouth so he could taste himself. His groans were muffled by our kiss, but I felt and heard them all the same, gripping his shirt to keep him to me.

When I pulled away, I patted his chest, panting, “Lay down.”

His nose scrunched up. “Lay down?”

“Or we can stop.”

“No, no, I’ll lay down.” He positioned himself on his back, his cock standing nice and hard. “I’m lying down,” he informed me, out of breath and flushed.

“I see you.” I trailed my fingers up his stomach, purposefully avoiding his cock. I felt hot everywhere. “Ready?”

His eyes tracked me ravenously. “For?”

“I’ll teach you how slow to go, okay? Then you can try it out.”

His throat bobbed, and he nodded. “Okay.”

“Good,” I praised. “Jungkook, you’re doing so good.”

He smiled shakily. “Thank you.”

Rubbing his thighs reassuringly, I patted them as I lowered my pajama pants. In my panties, I tugged the little bow.

“Do you like them?” I asked coyly. “I know Taehyung does.”

He gnawed on his lip furiously. “I really like them.”

“Do you want to touch?”

He struggled within himself before blurting, “I really just want you to take them off so we can have sex.”

I stifled a giggle. “Impatient?”

“Yes,” he nearly whined.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I soothed him. “I’ll make you feel better.”

His gratitude filled my ears as I tugged my panties off and lightly tossed them on his face. He sputtered, surprised, removing them and gripping them for solace.

“Faeryn,” he whispered urgently.

I blinked innocently. “Yes?”

“I need you.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Lining myself up with his cock, I grabbed it and aligned it with my entrance. “I’m going to make you feel better, I promise. You just lay there and focus so you can copy how slow I’m going during your turn.”

He immediately tried to hold my waist, but I smacked his hands away.

“Hold onto my panties,” I instructed, trying to sound stern. “You need to focus so you don’t finish too fast.”

He blushed hotly. “Okay.”

“Good,” I praised. “Just keep being patient.” I paused when his features scrunched as if he was in pain. Slightly alarmed, I dropped my voice and ensured it lost its sternness. “Are you okay? Is this too much? I—I should’ve talked about the traffic system, you know, the colors, and—”

“No,” he managed. “No, I’m okay, I just need you. You look so pretty, and I—I want to see how you look from this position so much.”

My shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay, okay. Thank you for telling me. I…I was a little nervous that I was too strict.”

“No, no, you’re doing so good,” he assured me with wide eyes. “The best, Faeryn. I’m so excited.”

My lips tugged into a reassuring smile. “Really? I hoped I was, but I’ve never done this before.”

“We’ll both use our colors if we need to, okay? Right?”

“Right,” I agreed assiduously. “We will.”

“Okay, then we can keep going, okay? My dick just…hurts a little,” he admitted, flustered. “Because I’m so excited.”

I giggled. “Sorry. I’m edging you a little, I think.”

“Yeah,” he said, high-pitched.

“It’s okay,” I soothed. “I’m going to start now..”

A low moan left him when I seated myself on his dick, wiggling my hips to take him further. I whined at the sudden fullness, and pleasure sparked in my stomach. Trying to hold it together for the sake of my stern front, I gripped his waist and took a deep breath.

“I’m going to go slow,” I warned him, reminding myself as much as I was reminding him. Every part of me wanted to ride him quickly and chase my orgasm, but I had to keep the foreplay going; I wanted to make this feel as good as possible for him—and for me, but in this headspace, I cared more about his pleasure than mine. It was exhilarating.

He clutched my panties and the sheets as I bounced on his dick, grinding back and forth as I sunk down.

“Thank you, thank you,” he moaned, his eyes fluttering as I took what I needed.

“It’s okay,” I cooed, mimicking Jimin’s tone. “Does it feel good?”

“So good,” he panted. “And you look so pretty. I—I can’t even see my dick, you’re just swallowing it up like you do with the others.”

I shivered, once again struggling to keep my front up. “I am?”

“Yeah,” he whimpered.

I moved my hips in slow, sensual movements, making him moan fitfully.

“See?” I pressed, breathless. “We’re going slow.”

“Yeah,” he gasped out. “We’re going slow.”

“Because if we go too fast,” I explained, “we’ll ruin our fun.”

“Right,” he managed brokenly, his eyes glazing over with arousal. “We’re going slow.”

Giddy, I rocked slightly faster just to see his features tighten with need. I returned to the slower pace teasingly before I stilled, making him look at me helplessly.

“It’s okay.” I rubbed his stomach. “Slowly.”

“But you’re so warm,” he countered almost frantically. “I’ll come.”

“Jungkook!” I said, pushing my tone to sound surprised. He dipped his eyes immediately. “We’re supposed to be going slow. We just talked about it.”

His chest stammered, and I patted and rubbed it reassuringly like Namjoon often did. “I’m trying,” he insisted breathily.

“You have to try harder,” I chided lightly. “Or else you won’t get to take a turn.”

His forehead creased with worry. “I want to fuck you, Faeryn, please let me.”

“You can”—I bounced my fingertips from his chest to chin, back down again—“once I’m done showing you how to go slow.”

“Okay,” he rasped, out of it.

I resumed slow movement, grinding leisurely and trying to ignore my pleasure for the sake of his. I wasn’t sure how the others did it, putting me first before even thinking of reaching their pleasure’s peak, but seeing Jungkook’s pleasure made me euphoric, helping me stave off mine. Maybe the others were better at this because they had more practice; maybe they were stronger than me because the longer I looked at Jungkook’s twisted features, the more I wanted to come.

I hurried off of him, panting from edging us. “Okay, okay, it’s your turn.”

He was up in seconds, attacking my mouth for a hungry kiss. I delved into it, grabbing the base of his neck to control our pace.

“I need you,” he spoke into my mouth, nibbling on my lips and sucking my tongue fervently. “I want to be inside of you.”

“You can,” I stammered, feeling my front falter. “How do you want me? I…I can lay down or sit on your lap—”

He situated me on my back, hovering over me as he didn’t once break our kiss. “Like this.”

I whined, arching my back. “It’s my turn.”

“Don’t worry.” He stroked his cock a few times with quick, strong pumps before lining himself up with me. “I’ll do it the way you taught me.” He kissed my cheek, biting into it lightly. “I’ll make you feel good like hyungs do.”

Shivering with anticipation, I moaned when he prodded his cock against my entrance, pushing it inside before easing it out, never fully entering me.

“Jungkook,” I almost snapped.

“Hyung does this.” His eyes were transfixed on my dripping core. “Teases me and takes it slow.”

I swallowed. “Which hyung?”

“Joon,” he whispered, shifting his hips to allow his cock to enter me just to remove it again. “This is how he takes it slow with me. You wanted it slow; you said so.”

“I thought you didn’t know how to take it slow,” I countered, my breath coming in quick pants.

“Not as good as hyungs,” he mumbled, experimentally thumbing my clit. His eyes darkened when I bucked into his hand. “But now since you taught me how slow you want it, I’ll do it and add some things that Joon does.”

Before I could ask, he thrust into me quickly, making the air leave me in one fell swoop. Three quick thrusts, a fourth slow one, and he pulled out. The emptiness was too much to bear, and I cried out, barely breathing.

“It’s okay,” he reassured me, gripping his cock tightly. “It’s okay. Slowly.”

He repeated his actions, edging me to insanity, and I knew he wasn’t doing any better; his painfully hard cock was leaking.

I didn’t want to beg; I was supposed to be in charge, but it was becoming difficult not to resort to what I did best.

“Jungkook,” I coaxed. “This is too slow.”

“You said to go slow.”

“But when I was going slow, at least you were in me the entire time. Okay? But you’re not filling me up the entire time, so you’re not doing what I taught you.”

“But this will make me go slower,” he countered, and the next time he did his pattern, I wanted to cry.

“Jungkook!” I demanded, digging my fingernails into his biceps. “Fuck me. Now.”

His eyes widened slightly. “But what about—”

“I don’t care,” I spat out. “I want you inside me now.”

He blinked rapidly. “Can I go fast?”

I smacked his hand away from his cock, grabbed it, and pushed it into me. Wrapping my arms around his back, I brought him closer to me, urging his cock in deeper.

“Fuck me,” I commanded. “Or I’ll find one of your hyungs to do it.”

He whimpered, and with both hands on the side of my head, he fucked me. Hard. His pace wasn’t as frantic as our first time, and as soon as I was wrapped around him, his body began to relax. Being so close to me had a positive effect on him, and he sighed with pleasure, groaning as his pace began to slow.

He enjoyed it thoroughly, experimenting as he rolled and angled his hips to see which spot made me moan the loudest. He teased those spots once he found them, looking smug when my lips parted with pleasure and wouldn’t close.

“I’m making you feel good,” he breathed against my features. “Right, Faeryn?”

I squeezed his ass, making him groan. “Keep going,” I ordered, but my voice was wavering with my growing arousal.

“I am,” he defended, gasping when I slapped his ass. “Okay, I am, I am.”

Fucking me a bit faster, he buried his face in my neck and attacked my neck with kisses, aiming to leave his mark. With every moan that left me, he grew increasingly invigorated and euphoric due to knowing he was the one earning this reaction from me. Not his hyungs—him.

“So good,” I remembered to praise him, knowing how much it helped me reach my peak and reassure me. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” His breathing was sporadic, alerting me he was close, too. “You feel good because of me?”

“Yeah,” I whimpered, holding onto him as tightly as I could. “You’re making me feel so good.”

He moaned, bucking his hips forward slowly before pounding me into the sheets. The pace change was the end for me, and I came hard on his cock, spasming as a strained cry of pleasure left me.

I chanted his name, dragging my hands up and down his back and sides as I tried to ground myself.

A knock on the door startled us, but when Hoseok’s voice came from behind it—deep and sweet—Jungkook shuddered and came instantly, barely pulling out in time to spread his cum all over my stomach and chest.

Our moans of pleasure were evidently heard by Hoseok, and when he knocked again, Jungkook whined, “Hyung.”

“I’m here,” was Hoseok’s sure response. “Do you want me to come in?”

“Please,” Jungkook and I confirmed in unison.

The door was unlocked, and once Hoseok opened it, he saw the mess Jungkook and I were sprawled in.

His lips tugged at the corners with fond amusement. “I thought you were both napping.”

“We were.” Jungkook’s chest rose and fell rapidly. “But we woke up.”

Hoseok chuckled. “I can see that.” He looked at me, and his jaw clenched. “There you are, pretty girl. You look taken care of.”

Jungkook’s chest puffed out with pride, and he refused to remove himself from me, continuing to let his cock slide up and down my stomach to push his cum around.

“She came first,” Jungkook spoke proudly. “Again, just like the first time.”

Hoseok’s smile pulled through. “It’s okay if you come first, but I’m glad you’re so proud of yourself. You look much better than you did at breakfast. You feel better?”

Jungkook nodded blissfully. “So much better.”

I giggled, dizzy with the after-effects of my orgasm.

Hoseok walked over with another chuckle, but his gaze was watchful. “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

“So good,” I mumbled dreamily. “Jungkook’s so good to me.”

Jungkook beamed, turning to Hoseok like, “See?”

Hoseok ruffled Jungkook’s hair as he arrived at the bed, leaning down to kiss my swollen lips. “Do you feel any pain?”

I shook my head. “I’m okay.”

He hummed in response as his eyes traveled across my face, searching for a nonverbal response. “Good.” With his attention still on mine, he prompted Jungkook, “How about you, Jungkook? Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, hyung, I feel okay,” Jungkook chirped, high off his successful orgasm and evoking mine. “I feel great.”

Hoseok and I shared a smile, and I giggled into a kiss. Pulling back, he nudged our noses together and turned to Jungkook.

“Would you like a kiss?” he asked the younger.

Jungkook leaned forward in response, offering his lips, and Hoseok pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“There,” Hoseok murmured, kissing his chin afterward. “Both of you took good care of each other, didn’t you?”

We nodded, pleased with ourselves.

Hoseok caressed our cheeks fondly. “I’m sure Namjoon would love to hear all about this.”

Jungkook grinned cheekily, nosing into Hoseok’s cheek in a wordless request for another kiss. Hoseok bestowed it easily, letting Jungkook settle into it as he caressed my stomach in slow, reassuring movements.

Hoseok kissed me once Jungkook was satisfied, and I sighed happily, knowing I was tasting them both.

“Let’s clean you both up.” Hoseok lifted himself up, his hand painted with the cum splattered on my stomach. “Messy, hm?”

I blushed and nodded shyly.

Jungkook leaned forward and kissed where his cum was on my stomach. “Pretty,” he mumbled.

I pressed my thighs together with a whimper, the sight of him tasting himself making me dizzy.

Pushing himself up, he told Hoseok, “I want to clean her up.”

“You can,” Hoseok agreed. “I’ll grab a washcloth, all right?”

“Okay, hyung.” While Jungkook waited, he sidled up to me and pulled me sideways into his arms.

I settled into his hold, pushing my bottom to feel his softening cock and rub against it lazily. He mewled, kissing my neck in response.

Hoseok returned to the room with two washcloths. “Here we are. Washcloths for the two of you.”

Jungkook laid on his back pliantly.

Hoseok smiled. “Do you want me to clean you up before you clean Faeryn?”

Jungkook hesitated and sat up. “You can clean me up after I clean Faeryn. I want her to be taken care of first.”

Hoseok hummed his approval and handed Jungkook the washcloth. “Go ahead.”

I tangled my fingers contently through Jungkook’s hair as he cleaned me up, adding several kisses into it to make the experience more enjoyable than it already was. Once the cum was gone from my stomach and between my thighs, he handed the cloth to Hoseok and kissed me gently.

“All better,” he murmured, pushing my hair gently from my forehead. “Nice and clean.” He kissed my face, everywhere he could find. “Pretty, pretty Faeryn.”

I mewled, twining my hands around his neck as I delved into him.

Once he was satisfied that I was taken care of and received a verbal response from me confirming it, he laid on his back for Hoseok.

Hoseok was quick and gentle, wiping around Jungkook’s cock and stomach with soft praise, telling Jungkook how good he was for not only taking care of me but for being so nice and still while Hoseok cleaned him.

Jungkook seemed to be entering the same dreamy haze I had entered, both of us sated and content, and Hoseok noticed quickly. Putting the washcloths at the edge of the bed and letting us know he would take care of washing the sheets, he settled between us and gently tucked us into his sides.

“We’ll stay here for a minute,” he murmured, coursing his hands through our hair. “Warm and safe.”

We curled closer to him, enjoying his warmth and praise as he ensured we came down from our orgasm high safely without dropping into dysphoria, showering us with reassurance and care.

Any front of being in charge quickly faded from me now that he was taking over, and I melted into his side, smiling dazedly at Jungkook, my partner in crime.

“So much fun,” I mumbled happily.

Jungkook’s smile was big and grateful. “Me too. So much fun.”

Hoseok smiled, belated with us. “So sweet, the both of you. I’m happy I could be here with both of you. Make sure you’re warm and comfortable.”

We nodded our agreement, and soon, Jungkook began talking about the dream he had during his nap, and I giggled at how silly it was. Hoseok listened, laughing lightly occasionally, and everything felt so right with him and Jungkook with me.

Everything felt better when I was surrounded by two people I loved so dearly.

“Jungkook,” I said suddenly.

He paused his story, looking at me questioningly. “Was that part confusing? I can start it again. I thought it was a little confusing in the dream too, but basically, the elf started to—”

“No,” I cut him off, laughing a little as my heart swam with affection. “I love you.”

His lips parted.

He didn’t respond.

I blinked. “Are you okay?”

My words tore him out of whatever held him hostage, and a breathy exhale left him. “I love you, I—I love you, Faeryn.”

He nearly jumped over Hoseok to get to me, and Hoseok laughed, holding the former’s waist to stabilize him.

Jungkook cupped my face and kissed me, murmuring his love for me between each one. I relaxed, giggling with relief.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer right away,” he said bashfully, still leaning over Hoseok to be close to me. “I was surprised.”

“That I love you?”

“No,” he said quickly. “That you said it when I was telling you about my dream.”

“But I love you and your dreams; it was the best time to say it.”

He grinned. “I love you.” Nuzzling his cheek against mine, he pecked my nose. “My ducky.”

I returned his grin. “My Jungkook who’s squishing Hoseok.”

He squeaked in slight alarm. “Sorry!”

Hoseok laughed. “It’s okay. Take your time; I can handle it.”

Jungkook, however, moved back to ensure Hoseok was okay and offered a consolation kiss. “Sorry, hyung,” he offered.

“You’re okay,” Hoseok said kindly. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Jungkook smiled gratefully. “My morning is so much better than when I first woke up.” He fell onto his back and kicked his legs lightly. “Best!”

Hoseok and I grinned and asked, “Best what?”

“Today’s the best!”

Notes:

A peek of dom Faeryn?! YESSS SIRRRRRRR 🫡😩 the way she is with Yoongi is so precious and means so much to me guys like omg

how is everyone doing?! life has been so busy lately lol I hope everyone is doing okay! <33

Chapter 44: Parties and Guilt

Summary:

Faeryn goes to a party, Yoongi goes to his first therapy session, and Lyric and Cheverie come over for an after-party.
One of the above goes horribly wrong.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

                           

               

                                                     

                                               

                             

“Taehyung?”

He turned from his desk and flashed me a smile. “Hey! What’s up?”

I walked further into his room and closed the door behind me, shuffling slowly over to him. “Hi.”

“Everything okay?” When I was close enough, he pulled me onto his lap, earning a sigh of relief from me. After kissing my forehead, he peered into my face. “Okay?”

I rested my cheek on his shoulder. “I’m okay, but I have a question.”

“Sure! You can ask me anything.”

Twining my arms around his neck, I clung to him. “Lyric wants me to go to a party with her and Cheverie tonight.”

He caressed my side. “You don’t like parties.”

I nodded sullenly. “But she wants me to go, and Cheverie looked so pretty in the outfit and makeup she texted me, and I know Lyric will look really pretty, too. I don’t know. I…I liked having a girl’s night with them that one time, we had so much fun, but a party has so many…” I winced. “Loud people and music and food I don’t like.”

“I know,” he sympathized. Kissing me tenderly when he viewed my downcast features, he asked gently, “Do you want to try going?”

I shrugged helplessly. “It sounds like fun.”

“Does it sound like fun for you?” he questioned. “Or does the idea sound like fun?”

Nibbling my lip, my shoulders sagged. “I don’t know. Both? Cheverie and Lyric are fun.”

“But you don’t think the party will be?”

I nodded.

“Do you want to try?” he asked. “If it’s too much, I’m sure Lyric will take you home. Right?”

“Yeah, but then she would miss out on her party.”

“Then one of us will come pick you up,” he suggested. “We’re all mostly free tonight. I know I will be.”

Intrigued, I wondered, “What’s everyone else doing?”

“Hoseok’s taking Jungkook out, Namjoon will be at the studio, and I think Jin said he wanted to browse the mall for early Christmas gifts.”

“Mm…is he going alone?”

He started to smile. “Do you want to go with Jin instead of the party?”

I hung my head in defeat. “Yeah.”

He tapped my nose fondly. “He’s shopping for you, too.”

“So I can’t go?”

“Probably not.”

I blew air through my lips. “What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hm…” He shifted me more comfortably. “Do you want to set a timer at the party for an hour? If you don’t like it at the end, call me. I’ll come pick you up.”

“That would be okay?”

“Of course,” he agreed sincerely. “Parties can be fun, and if you take your sunglasses and earplugs, maybe you’ll have a nice time. You can even bring some safe snacks and keep them in your purse.”

My lips parted. “That’s a good idea.” Beaming, I kissed his chin. “Thank you!”

He smiled widely at the sight of my prompt optimism. “Of course!”

I patted his chest with a few more kisses and scrambled off his lap to the door. “I’m going to text Lyric!”

“Okay!” he called after me as I hurried to my room. “Text or call me if you need anything!”

꧁꧂

 

“Move,” Cheverie hissed through her teeth.

Lyric shoved a finger in her face. “Watch your tone.”

Cheverie smacked Lyric’s finger. “Watch your own damn tone.”

“She’s my friend,” Lyric snapped.

“She’s my muse for the night,” Cheverie fought back. “And if you want her makeup to be applied, back. the. fuck. up.”

“It’s okay!” I shook my hands around frantically. “Please don’t fight. Cheverie can do my makeup because she brought it up first, okay? Lyric? Is that okay?”

Lyric crossed her arms, annoyed. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

“She’s in a pissy mood.” Cheverie tapped her makeup brush against the palette before choosing a foundation. “My outfit is better than hers.”

“It is not,” Lyric seethed.

“You looked at my outfit longer than you looked at yours.”

“Fuck off!” Fuming, Lyric pushed through the bathroom door. “I’m going to get you something to wear, Fae.”

“Okay,” I agreed weakly as she stormed away.

Left alone with Cheverie, I gulped as she set to work applying my makeup.

She cocked a brow. “What?”

“I don’t know,” I stammered. “I just thought that since after our girl’s night, you and Lyric would be…”

“Friends?” She scoffed quietly. “No.” She applied primer on my face. “We’re not friends.”

“But…you could be,” I suggested hopefully. “You’re both nice in your own ways, funny, and kind. Why can’t you be friends if you’re both kind?”

“Because,” she said drily. “We’re not kind to each other.”

“Why not?” I asked, baffled.

“We’re roommates, Faeryn. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“But…you went to a museum together today, went shopping, and are going to party together.”

Cheverie’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek as she honed in on her work. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Can’t it?”

Her eyes flickered to mine, and startled at the proximity, I trained my eyes on her chin.

She leaned back slightly. “My bad. I know eye contact is uncomfortable for you. Look anywhere else, but I’ll have to be close to apply your makeup.”

“It’s okay,” I insisted. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I know.” Pulling out a small sponge, she applied a liquid foundation. “Lyric and I…” She dabbed the sponge on my face. “We put up with each other. Rent is lower when we pay it together, and that’s that.”

“What about the museum trips? And shopping and parties?”

“She dragged me to all three,” she muttered.

“You…you can tell her no,” I said uncertainly. “If you don’t want to go. She gets excited sometimes and forgets that not everyone likes to do what she likes, but it comes from a good place. Lyric is really kind and just wants to have fun with people she cares about.”

She shook her head with a light laugh. “I’ll tell her no if it comes to it, but I was bored, she was offering, and I said yes.”

“Well…maybe if you hang out together more, you could be…cordial? You don’t even have to be friends.”

“I’ll survive without her cordiality.”

“Ditto,” Lyric said sharply as she kicked open the bathroom door.

Cheverie’s neck nearly snapped as she turned to face her. “What the fuck is your problem?!”

Lyric dragged her bare feet against the bottom of the door. “What? My problem? I don’t know what you speak of.”

Neglecting my makeup, Cheverie charged at Lyric, and fearing for both of their safety, I jumped up and screamed, “Stop it!”

They both jolted and looked at me in surprise.

“Don’t hurt each other!” I stressed, flapping my hands around in an attempt to regulate. “Lyric’s my friend, and Lyric, Cheverie is…I think she’s my friend too because we texted…” Although still surprised, Cheverie dipped her chin in agreement. Invigorated, I pressed on, “You’re both my friends, and I don’t want my friends or anyone to hurt each other. Please don’t do that. Please. It’s not safe.”

Cheverie glared at Lyric. “Do you see what you did?”

“You scared her first!” Lyric argued.

“Because you slammed the door open and dirtied it with your unhygienic foot!”

“Stop!” I demanded. “Stop it, stop it!” Rushing over to them, I planted myself between them and set them with the sternest look I could fathom. “Don’t fight.”

Cheverie crossed her arms as Lyric glowered up at her. “Tell that to her.”

“I’m telling it to both of you,” I insisted. “So stop it.” Hurrying back to the counter where I’d been sitting, I grabbed the sponge and placed it in Cheverie’s palm. “We can do makeup, and Lyric can show me what clothes she brought. Okay?”

Lyric mumbled under breath, pushed past Cheverie, and set up camp in the bathtub. “Fine! But only because we’ll be late to the party.”

Cheverie nearly foamed at the mouth angrily as she watched Lyric stand in the clean bathtub.

To prevent more arguing, I suggested, “Lyric, do you want to stand on the other side of me when I’m sitting?”

She hopped out of the bathtub, but not without side-eyeing Cheverie on her way to me. “Fine.”

With the marginal distance between them, I pushed back up onto the sink’s counter. “Am I wearing that?”

Lyric held up the pretty blue dress. With pretty pink lacing trimming the bodice, it was just above knee length and had long, wavy sleeves with a slight puff design.

Delighted, I beamed. “I can wear that?”

She scoffed. “Of course you can! Only the best for my best friend.”

I blinked a few times as my smile came to light. “We’re best friends?”

“Uh, yeah? Who else did you think was my best friend?” She jabbed her thumb toward Cheverie. “No.”

“Maybe your harem back in your hometown,” I guessed.

She shrugged. “Nah.”

I paused. “I’m really happy that we’re best friends, but you…” I angled my head. “You seem sad.”

She shrugged again. “I broke up with my little harem.”

Pain filtered through me. “What?”

She picked at her cuticles. “It’s whatever. They just decided they liked each other more than me.”

“They’re…still together?” I asked, aghast.

“Yup.” She glared at the bathroom floor. “Just without me.”

I reached for her, and she shifted closer so I could squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. “I’m so sorry,” I offered. “That was awful of them to do.”

“Yeah. I don’t know.” She leaned against the counter as Cheverie resumed my makeup. “I should’ve seen it coming. I mean, I was never there. They said they were okay with it, but I guess they changed their mind or never really meant it.”

I frowned. “That’s awful.”

“Yuuuuppp. What can you do?” She tilted her neck back and glanced at Cheverie from her peripheral. “Maybe I can date someone new every month just like Cheverie does. Wake up break up, you know? Those are the new vibes I bring to the function.”

“People suck,” Cheverie ground out. “I’m aware of this because of how many of them I date. Plus,” she added pointedly. “I have you as a roommate.”

“Ha,” Lyric said drily. “Poor you. How will you ever survive having such a hot and single roommate? Don’t worry. I’ll blast music when I bring a date over.”

Cheverie winced. “Don’t bring people over.”

“That’s not your choice to make, honey bug.”

“What the fuck. Did you just. Call me.”

“Don’t worry about it, honey bug.” Lyric took in my makeup progress. “I did it better.”

Cheverie gritted her teeth. “You talk too much.”

“Says the one talking.”

“Stop fighting,” I protested.

“Fuck,” Cheverie bit out when my sudden protest caused my head to twitch and earn my earlobe a hint of bronzer. Carefully angling my face back into position, she instructed, “You have to stay still.”

“You have to stop fighting,” I returned heatedly.

She was quiet, but her expressions were loud, only edging on Lyric’s frustration.

“What?” Lyric demanded. “What’s that face for?”

“She didn’t say anything,” I cut in pleadingly. “Lyric, please, it’s okay.”

“She called me a bitch,” Lyric insisted.

“She didn’t say anything,” I plead my case.

Cheverie calmly placed the bronzer down. “I did call her a bitch.” She side-eyed Lyric. “Expressions don’t lie.”

I dug my fingers into my palms anxiously. “Can we please finish my makeup so we can go?”

“Yeah, Cheverie,” Lyric taunted. “Finish her makeup.”

“Make yourself useful and get her heels,” Cheverie clapped back.

“Heels?” I asked. “I don’t like heels.”

“You’re wearing them,” they said in unison, only scowling at each other after the fact.

“They hurt my feet,” I explained hurriedly. “I won’t be comfortable.”

“Fashion is pain,” Lyric said. “Something Cheverie doesn’t know since I’m always in pain when I look at what she wears.”

“That’s not what your expression said when I showed you my dress earlier.”

Lyric glared. “I’m getting her heels.”

“Finally.”

“No, no,” I insisted. “I can’t wear heels. Can’t I wear flats?”

“With this dress?” Lyric shook her head. “No way. It would ruin the whole look.”

Frustrated, overstimulated, and upset, I blurted, “I want to wear flats, so please find me flats! If I don’t wear flats, then I’m going home, and you and Cheverie can fight each other all the way to the party. I don’t care! I just want flats!”

Lyric blinked. “Right. I’m…shit, I’m sorry, Fae. You’re right; you should wear what makes you comfortable.” She rubbed her forehead. “I was being a dick.”

“What a surprise,” Cheverie drawled. “She’s self-aware.”

“Shut up,” Lyric spat out. Taking a strained, deep breath, she pivoted and called over her shoulder, “I’ll find flats, Fae.”

I stared resolutely at the glittery shine of Cheverie’s outfit.

“She dragged you here just to argue with me,” Cheverie said distastefully.

“No,” I defended. “She brought me here to have fun, but you’re both ruining it.”

A quiet sigh left her as she applied highlighter. “Yeah. Sounds about right.”

Lyric was gone for far longer than she needed to be, but I figured she needed time to breathe alone, so I sat perfectly straight as Cheverie completed my makeup. I ensured I brought Hoseok’s makeup; the only makeup that didn’t trigger my texture issues, and with it on, I breathed a little easier. It reminded me of him, and he was all comfort was and more.

Wondering what the others were up to, I was snapped back into reality when Lyric returned with flats.

“Here,” she greeted. “Flats for you, Fae.” Slipping them on, I thanked her as she handed me the dress. “You should probably hurry up and change. We’ll be late.” She grabbed Cheverie’s arm and offered a harsh tug. “Fae is changing in here.”

Cheverie ripped her arm away, and the two of them left the bathroom with matching scowls.

Rubbing the tension from my temples, I sighed with relief once I was alone and changed slowly to enjoy the peace. It didn’t last for long. As soon as I was dressed, I exited the bathroom to see Cheverie and Lyric having a glaring contest. Figuring it was best not to draw attention to it, I grabbed my bag full of safe snacks and wondered, “Are we leaving now?”

“Yes,” Lyric ground out without tearing her eyes from Cheverie.

“We are,” Cheverie confirmed as her lips lifted in a snarl.

Grabbing their arms, I guided them to the door. “Let’s go.”

The car ride was quiet and awkward. Even Indie music couldn’t save the chill atmosphere.

“So,” I attempted conversation. “This is a fancy party.” I gestured to my dress. “Right?”

Cheverie, gripping the steering wheel for dear life, seethed, “Right.”

Tugging my bottom lip between my teeth, I wondered, “What’s the party for?”

“It’s a party. We go to party.”

“In…really fancy dresses.”

“Yeah.” She narrowly missed running a red light. “We party and get drunk in fancy dresses.”

“Be nice to her,” Lyric demanded from the backseat.

“I’m answering her questions,” Cheverie shouted.

“Well, stop!” Lyric shouted.

I put my hands over my already earplugged ears as they embarked on a shouting match, and as the seconds passed, I regretted my decision to come out dearly.

Pulling up at the party ten minutes later, I opened my door and hurried out of the car, greedily gulping down the fresh winter air as a much-needed reprieve. No longer a captive of stuffy, heated cars containing two screaming people, I let the snow seep into my flats and sighed contently.

“You’re getting snow in your flats!” Lyric shrieked as she tugged me forward. “Fae! You’ll catch a cold!”

I tried to return to the snow, but she was already pulling me toward our destination. Following reluctantly so she wouldn’t drag me, I stared at the house before us wearily. Decorated with Christmas lights, it looked inviting, but looks could be deceiving, and I wanted to go home. Nevertheless, Lyric marched forward and took me with her, leaving me no choice but to succumb to my fate.

My fate was a warm one full of laughter, whoops, and hollers as hot chocolate, freshly baked cookies, and eggnog reached my nose. My senses aroused, and I perked up slightly, intrigued by the familiar, enjoyable smells.

“Cookies,” I told Lyric as she led me to a living area.

Cheverie had already made a beeline away from us, but I couldn’t see where as Lyric took me to greet people. A flurry of new faces and greetings passed, and dizzy, I recited words and things tested and true for small talk, but I stayed as close to Lyric as possible for comfort.

Ten minutes later, Cheverie appeared, clasped my hand, and left as quickly as she came. Confused when her warmth lingered in my palm, I squeezed lightly only to be rewarded with crumbs. Startled, I looked down to view a chocolate chip cookie.

I looked around to find Cheverie, but she was gone. Biting into the gift gratefully, I reminded myself to thank her later.

Eventually, the group of people Lyric pulled me into began to dwindle, and Lyric decided it was time to make her rounds in the kitchen much to my delight. Scouring the area for another cookie, I nursed two more chocolate chip crumble cookies as I declined Lyric’s offer for champagne. Choosing sparkling cider instead, I indulged in my cookies as I listened and nodded as Lyric talked to me and other people.

She struck up conversations with strangers so easily, and I admired that ability as it was completely the opposite for me. Conversations could still be hard for me even with people I loved. As my thoughts circled my seven men and the hard conversations we conquered together, I smiled to myself and sipped my cider.

“Look who’s here.” Startled, I turned to find Jaehyun. His lips curved in a lazy smile, and he lifted a brow. “I didn’t take you for a partier.”

“Jaehyun,” I said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Hm…let’s see. We’re at a kitchen during a party, so…snacks?”

I grinned. “Hi.”

He laughed lightly. “Hi, Petal.” He jutted his chin out toward Lyric. “She’s the life of these parties, isn’t she? Always talking to everyone.”

I nodded fervently. “She really is.” I lifted my glass and remaining cookie. “I had cider and cookies. Cheverie got me one before.”

“Ahh, Lyric’s dreadful roommate.”

“She isn’t dreadful,” I corrected indignantly. “She’s nice.” I amended, “Not really to Lyric though.”

“So my point still stands; Lyric’s dreadful roommate.”

Hesitating, I concluded, “Dreadful to Lyric. They’re both…dreadful to each other.”

“And you’re stuck in the middle of it, huh?”

My eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“Oh, Lyric has dragged me to her apartment a few times.”

My cheeks flamed red hot. “Oh.”

He laughed. “Get your mind out of the gutter. We hang out.”

Faltering, I gripped my cookie tighter before bringing it to my lips cautiously. “I thought you both hated each other.”

“Well.” He carefully pried my hand open to prevent further crumbs from falling, making me jolt in place. “Hate is a strong word.”

“My cookie,” I whispered as he ate the remainder.

He grabbed another one from the tin. “Here; a brand new one that is crumbling.”

I accepted it, and taking small bites, I looked back at Lyric to see her side-eyeing Jaehyun as she spoke to people.

“Did Lyric know you were going to be here?” I queried.

He winked. “I’m always at parties.”

“Do you both…party together?”

“Eh. Sometimes. Not often.”

“So…” My brows furrowed. “You go to her apartment and party with her sometimes, but you’re not friends?”

“Friendship is fickle.”

“It…is? But not if you communicate; Jin said so, too.”

He shrugged, took my cookie, and side-stepped me to reach Lyric. “See you around the party, Petal.”

Another cookie short, I reached for another one to find they were all finished. Discouraged, I looked around for more but came up empty.

“Looking for this?” Cheverie appeared with a few cookies. “Jaehyun steals things; you have to keep your wits around you when he’s around.”

“Steals things?” I whispered, dismayed. “Like money?”

She released the cookies to me. “No. Not like money. Drinks, cookies, sanity.”

“Oh. Okay.” I ate a cookie heartily. “Thank you.”

Her lips curved. “Do you not have cookies often?”

I shook my head. “My mom said sugar wasn’t very good, so I try to eat healthier.”

“Sugar once in a while is okay.”

I started to smile. “This is my once in a while.”

“Don’t go crazy.” She tugged a ringlet forming near the end of my hair, courtesy of her curling iron. “Wash it down with water.”

Setting my cider down, I picked up a water bottle and flashed her a thumbs-up.

She leaned against the snack table. “Having fun?”

I looked around with a shrug. “I think so. Everyone Lyric introduced me to has been nice.”

“We’re about to play games. Charades, I think.”

I froze. “I don’t like playing games.”

She quirked a brow. “You don’t like playing games.”

“With people I don’t know,” I amended anxiously. “I…don’t know. It’s like I stop functioning properly, and I can’t enjoy playing because I’m focusing too much on socializing properly, and then I’m miserable and not having fun.”

“That sucks.”

I winced. “Yeah.”

“You don’t have to play. Just watch.”

“Is that okay? No one will force me to play?”

“Parties are supposed to be fun,” she responded. “Don’t do anything during them that you don’t find fun, and if anyone tries to force you, they’re full of shit. Tell them no, and if they keep trying to persuade you”—she scoffed quietly—“I’m sure Lyric will hand their asses to them.”

“I know this might sound…stupid and childish, but…” My cheeks burned. “Is it okay if I sit with you when everyone plays games?”

“It’s not childish.” She drank the rest of my cider. Setting it down, she concluded, “I’ll sit with you.” Motioning me forward, she said, “I know a good spot.”

Trailing after her, I wondered, “Have you been here before?”

Looking straight ahead, she confirmed, “This is Jaehyun’s house.”

I paused, baffled. “It is?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But Lyric said she hated his parties.”

“Lyric says a lot of things.”

Confused, I took in the decor instead as we approached a gaming room. Jaehyun’s house was fairly large and cozy, but there was an unnecessary accumulation of a bright color green whether it be curtains, throw pillows, or blankets. For the hundredth time that night, I was grateful for my sunglasses for muting any harsh lights/colors.

A bite of the party decided on a charades drinking game, and thankfully, everyone was only asked to join once. Jaehyun set everything up, but Lyric was right at his side barking out orders and keeping things in line. They worked in tandem, and laughter filled the air as the game continued.

My timer had long passed, and I was content seated beside Cheverie on the couch. Taehyung had checked in, but I let him know I was okay for now.

I drank my water like Cheverie suggested earlier, sat close to her, and watched everyone have fun. Watching from the sidelines made it more fun for me, and I caught myself laughing with everyone.

꧁꧂

 

“How was it?” Lyric asked me as Cheverie drove us to my home. “Did you get overstimulated?”

With my head still buzzing from the loud party, I nodded. “Yeah, but it was fun.”

She shook the back of my headrest. “See?! Parties can be fun!”

“Lyric,” I implored. “Don’t shake.”

“Sorry, sorry, but parties can be fun, right?” She released my headrest. “You should come to more with us!”

I turned in my seat to look at her. “You didn’t tell me it was Jaehyun’s party.”

“Pfft.” She waved her hand. “Small details.”

“Lyric.” I shook my head. “You’re confusing me.”

“How?”

“Your friendships,” I admitted. “You say you’re not friends with Jaehyun and Cheverie, but you still do everything that friends do.”

She pushed back into her seat. “We’re not friends.”

“But…according to the definition, you are.”

“Definitions don’t mean shit.”

Flustered, I insisted, “Definitions are important. Why can’t you just be friends with Jaehyun and Cheverie? Isn’t fighting exhausting?”

She glanced at Cheverie before slumping. “I’m just happy you enjoyed the party.”

Hesitating, I decided to drop the subject since she diverted it. “Me too. You had fun, too?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

Although the car’s environment wasn’t as hostile as it was on the way to the party, it was just as awkward.

As we pulled into my driveway, I blurted, “Do you want to come inside?”

They both stared at me. “What?”

“Come inside,” I urged. “We could have like a…after-party? Yeah! An after-party.” Opening my door, I waved them forward. “Come on!”

“Uh…will I have to sign an NDA?” Cheverie scrutinized my home. “I don’t feel like doing paperwork tonight.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” I paused. “I think? Yeah, it’s okay! I’ll just ask Namjoon because he should be back from the studio. Okay? But come in! I can show you my room.”

Lyric pushed her door open and jumped out. “I’m in for an after-party.”

“I’m your ride back home,” Cheverie said through her teeth.

“Looks like you’re with us,” Lyric said with faux cheerfulness, dropping her smile as she looked back to my home. “Well, shit, Fae! I forgot your home is a whole ass mansion.”

“I thought she lived in her apartment,” Cheverie said as she grudgingly pulled the keys from the ignition.

“She does,” Lyric said dismissively. “But this is her home.”

Cheverie exited the car. “I’m going to pretend I understand so you stop talking.”

I cut in, “Let’s just go inside.”

Hurrying up the cobblestone walkway freshly painted with snow, I sighed happily as the snow seeped into my flats. The chill feeling was welcome, but Lyric was quick with her shrieks to thwart my plan. Yanking me out, she called to the house for help.

“Lyric,” I insisted. “I like the snow.”

“You’ll catch a cold! Help! Help!”

“Lyric,” Cheverie grumbled. “Be quiet. We’re almost at the front door as it is.”

“Hellllppppp!” Lyric shrieked.

The front door swung open to reveal a concerned Yoongi in formal wear, and I blinked over at him, surprised. With a small wave at him, I watched with parted lips as he neglected his shoes and hurried into the snow in socks.

“What is it?” he asked, slightly breathless. Taking my hand, he peered into my face quickly for signs of injury. “Are you all right?”

“Grumps!” Lyric greeted cheerily. “Glad to see you. Our Faeryn here was letting snow get into her flats, and we know that’s not good. She could catch a cold!”

His brows tugged together, and without wasting another second, he lifted me into his arms. With a small yelp, I clung to him as he pivoted and carried me bridal style to the house.

“See?” Lyric sounded smug as she and Cheverie followed. “Help came.”

“Help wasn’t needed,” Cheverie claimed.

“Live a little,” Lyric complained. “Don’t you like seeing her men fawn over her? It’s adorable.”

Yoongi looked down at me from where I rested in his arms. “Are you all right?”

“I really am.” I patted his chest. “And I like your outfit.”

Already red from the cold winter air, his cheeks flushed. “Oh. Thank you. It’s…not much.” He cleared his throat and held me tighter. “I’m glad you are all right. I heard screaming, saw you, and was nervous.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’m sorry I made you nervous.”

“It isn’t your fault,” he refuted with slightly widened eyes. “Not at all, Faeryn. I’m just glad you are all right.” He paused. “Are you cold? We have the fireplace on if you want to sit in front of it for a while like Hoseok often suggests.”

“I’ll be okay.” Lifting my face, I nuzzled our cheeks together. “We’re going to have an after-party.”

“Ah. I see. I heard you went to a party. Was that fun?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed simply. “What did you do today?”

“Ah…” In a lower tone, he murmured for my ears only, “Therapy.”

I peeked up at him inquisitively. “Your first session?”

He dipped his chin.

“Did it go well?” I wondered hopefully.

“It was the orientation, that is all, but…yes. I believe it will be a good fit.”

Beaming up at him, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “That’s really great.”

“Yes.” His small smile appeared. “It is.”

“What’s with all this whispering?” Lyric chirped, surprising us both. “We want to hear.”

“Exclude me from this narrative,” Cheverie quipped distastefully.

“No arguing,” I declared. “Jin will agree with me.”

“Oh, well, I’d better stop arguing right this instant,” Lyric teased me. “Wouldn’t want to be scolded by the man of the house.”

I gripped Yoongi’s shirt. “They’re all the men of the house.”

“And she,” Yoongi supplemented lowly, “is the woman of the house.”

Lyric blew air through her lips as they tugged into a grin. “That’s what I like to hear.”

As Yoongi stepped us into the house, I wondered, “Is Namjoon home?”

“He is,” he attested. “Jin is still shopping, and Hoseok and Jungkook are having a late dinner out.”

“They’re probably having fun,” I gushed.

“Yes. They always have a nice time together.”

“I thought Jungkook was with you and Namjoon.” Lyric tugged her jacket off and flung it over the rack. “Lyric has arrived!”

“Stop meddling in their relationships,” Cheverie scolded her.

“Oh, fuck off,” Lyric responded.

Jimin exited the kitchen with a cup of tea, halting when he saw us. “What’s going on here?” As his eyes settled on me, his lips tugged into a smile. “Look at you, honey.”

I lifted the fabric of my dress bashfully. “Do you like it?”

“Oh, honey, I love it. It’s very pretty.”

“Thank you! Lyric let me borrow it.”

“Is that right?” He chuckled into a sip of tea. “The same Lyric racing around the living room?”

“It’s so big in here!” she shouted gleefully. “I could run forever!”

Cheverie slowly removed her jacket and folded her arms across her chest.

Jimin tilted his cup toward her. “Nice to meet you—?”

“Cheverie,” she answered.

“Nice to meet you, Cheverie,” he greeted. “All of your dresses look nice. Fancy party?”

“Jaehyun’s party,” I revealed.

“Oh, was that tonight?” Jimin returned to sipping his tea. “I can’t keep up with his parties.”

“He throws a lot,” I agreed as Yoongi carefully set me down.

“Very fun though,” he noted with a smile. His smile, however, dimmed the slightest bit. “Honey, you’re freezing.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” I reassured.

“Your feet are red in your flats, and you’re shaking.” In front of me in quick, smooth strides, he handed me his cup of tea to warm my hands and crouched down to help me out of my flats. “Careful stepping out.”

“I’m okay, really, Jimin, I promise. We’re going to have an after-party, and I’m not cold.”

“Your body says otherwise. Hm? Do you want a cup of tea?”

“Well, well,” Namjoon chuckled, descending the stairs. “Turning into Hoseok now, are we?”

Jimin waved him off with a good-natured grin. “Oh, hush. Grab her some socks, yeah? She’s cold.”

“I’m fine,” I whined. “Jimin, please.”

“Stay still for him,” Namjoon instructed, amused. “He’s right; you’re shaking.”

“With excitement,” I tried, and once I was out of my shoes, I returned Jimin’s cup to him and hurried to where Lyric was running laps.

“Cheverie,” I called with a wave. “Come on; we’ll go to my room!” I looked at Namjoon. “Is it okay if they stay over for a little while?”

“That’s fine,” he confirmed. “But change into something warmer, all right? And come here; I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I’ll be right back,” I informed Lyric before hurrying over to Namjoon and attacking him with a hug.

Lifting me, he let my legs dangle as he rocked me side to side. “You had fun at the party?” he questioned.

“Fun,” I agreed.

Smoothing my hair out of my face, he smiled fondly down at me. “Yeah?” he murmured.

I shone a big smile at him. “Yeah.”

“Cheverie, come on,” Lyric instructed, pointing to the stairs. “We’ll wait up there.”

Cheverie followed as she looked around at the exterior decoration, nodding to herself more than to Lyric as she agreed with the plan.

Once they were walking upstairs, Namjoon cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. I mewled into it, pressing onto my tiptoes to allow him better access to me.

“The party wasn’t too overstimulating?” His thumb swiped up and down my cheek. “Hm? Everything was okay?”

“It was, but I’m okay! Cheverie sat next to me when everyone played games, and we had fun watching.”

“That was nice of her. She’s kind to you?”

“Yeah, promise. I’m really okay.”

“Mm.” His lips brushed mine. “Good. I missed seeing you around here today.”

“I missed you too,” I chirped. “I thought about you at the party.”

“And what was I doing in your thoughts?”

“Being at the studio,” I said with a giggle. “Because Taehyung said that’s where you were. Was it a good session?”

“It was.” He lifted me back into his arms and squeezed me tightly. “I got a lot done.”

I wiggled in his arms. “I have to go to the after-party now.” I patted his chest. “Is it okay that I said they could come inside?”

“Of course it was.” He kissed my forehead. “This is your home; you can have friends over.”

My features broke into a huge smile. “Thank you!” I kissed him repeatedly. “You’re the best!” Suddenly, I looked over at Yoongi with wide eyes. “Your socks!”

“Oh.” Yoongi looked down at his sopping socks. “I am all right.”

Namjoon lifted a brow. “What happened to your socks?”

“He ran outside to get me because Lyric screamed for help,” I explained as I hurried to Yoongi. “Lyric’s fine, she just wanted someone to carry me inside because snow was getting in my flats. Here, you can sit by the fire, and I’ll get you new socks. Okay?”

I led him to the fireplace. “I’ll get a towel, too.”

“I am fine.” His forehead creased as I urged him to sit by pushing his shoulders down. “There’s no need to worry.”

“Okay, but can you sit? Please?” I gestured to the fire. “See? Nice and warm. And it would make me happy.”

His lips parted, and without another moment of contemplation, he sat.

I expressed my gratitude with a kiss on the top of his head. “Thank you. I’ll get the socks and towel, okay? Is it okay if I go into your room and drawers to find the socks?”

“The socks are in the top left drawer,” he explained. “The towels are most likely in the hall bathroom, but I can—”

“You won’t get them because I will,” I dissuaded. “I’ll be right back!”

Scurrying away, I quickly retrieved what I needed before returning to find him warming his hands by the fire in a crisscross position. He looked warmer than before and completely adorable with his slightly downturned lips as he concentrated, and I hurried over to him.

He and Namjoon were conversing but their words faltered when I appeared, and Jimin was gone.

“What were you talking about?” I wondered as I plopped down in front of Yoongi. “And where did Jimin go?” I patted Yoongi’s ankle. “Foot, please.”

His cheeks burned crimson. “I can do that, Faeryn. It is all right.”

“I know, but I want to help. You’ve done it for me before, remember?”

He hesitated. “Yes, but you really don’t need to.”

“But I want to,” I coaxed. “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Oh. I…well, no.”

“Then I’ll do it!” I decided, and grabbing the towel, I carefully patted down his feet. He jolted slightly, and I looked at him, surprised. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” he said, but his voice was higher than usual.

I blinked. “You kind of jumped a little, and your voice sounds…higher.”

His throat bobbed. “It is nothing. I am just…slightly ticklish.”

I started to smile. “Really?”

“Yes. But only slightly.” His right hand instinctively reached past his knee for his foot. “Please don’t tickle me.”

“I won’t,” I promised with a pleased giggle. “I didn’t know you were ticklish though.” Resorting to gentler pats, I met his eye. “Is this better?”

His fingers balled into his palms. “Slightly.”

“I’ll go really fast,” I promised, and finishing quickly, I carefully eased his socks on. Offering his sock-padded feet a pat, I gave him a thumbs-up. “Good?”

His hand unclenched, and he noticeably relaxed. “Yes. Good.”

I grinned. “Good!”

Taking my hand, he coaxed me forward until he could kiss me. “I’m grateful for this, Faeryn.”

I bumped our noses fondly. “I’m grateful you carried me inside.”

His lips smiled against mine. “Yes. We are both grateful.”

“Very,” I agreed into another pleasant kiss, and offering his shoulder a squeeze, I pulled away to ask, “What were you talking about before I came in? You and Namjoon just stopped talking. Is it about a company meeting I can’t know about? Should I go so you can keep talking about it?”

“No.” Yoongi tightened his hold on me. “You do not have to go.”

Namjoon chuckled. “We were talking, Faeryn. That’s all.”

I struggled to assess his amused expression. “Really?”

“Do you not believe me?”

“I…I believe you,” I concurred carefully. “You just look…like you don’t want to tell me what you were talking about. Was it something funny? You look…amused?”

“Amused?” Another chuckle slipped past his lips, and he crouched down to create level eye contact with me. “Mhm. Maybe I am.”

“So you’re not telling me something?” I guessed, concerned. “Why not?”

He caressed my cheek fondly. “It’s nearing Christmas time, Faeryn. Why do you think we’re not telling you?”

Focusing, I struggled to conceptualize his words before my eyes brightened. “A surprise? A gift? For me?”

His smile pulled through. “There you go.”

With a gasp, I clamped my hand over my mouth. “I’m getting presents?”

“Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you?”

I flapped my hands up and down, squealed, and flew into his arms for a hug, making us fall to the ground.

Laughing, he wrapped his arms around my waist to stabilize me and keep me from hitting my head on the coffee table.

“Is someone excited?” he teased with light tickles to my sides. “Are you in the Christmas spirit in late November?”

“Yes, because you put me in it!” Giggling, I beamed and pushed up to look at him. “I haven’t had a real Christmas for…well, it will be three years in December, but it won’t become three years because we’ll have Christmas! Oh! Will we have it together? I already had ideas to get for all of you plus some crochet projects I’ll make, but I didn’t know if we were all going to be together or not.”

“Of course we’ll be together.” He rubbed his hands up and down my sides. “It’s us and you, Faeryn. Where else would we be without Christmas?” He kissed me more tenderly than before. “Without you?”

Melting, I returned his kiss fervently. “Thank you.” With another squeal, I jumped up and tugged him with me. “We’re going to have Christmas!”

Subdued, Yoongi spoke, “I hope it will make up for the past two non-Christmases you experienced.”

“It will,” I confirmed assiduously. “Because I have all of you now. Presents don’t matter even if they’re exciting. Having all of you is even more exciting!” Clapping my hands together, I hugged Namjoon before hugging Yoongi. “Okay, okay! I have to go to the after-party now, but is it okay if we come down after I show them my room? We’ll probably play board games.”

I cocked my head. “Do people play board games at after-parties?”

“It is your after-party.” Yoongi carefully rearranged my disheveled hair. “You can do whatever you would like.”

“That’s really great!” I clasped my hands together. “Are you and Namjoon busy? Maybe you could join if you want. It would be fun!”

Yoongi’s features scrunched as if he was in pain, and alarmed, I asked, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I would love to join you,” he said, sounding torn. “But Namjoon and I are preoccupied.”

“Oh! That’s okay,” I said quickly. “Really! It was just a suggestion, but if you’re busy, you don’t have to come.”

“I would like to,” he said quietly.

I cupped his face. “It’s okay. Knowing you want to join me makes me feel happy.”

“It does?” he questioned, surprised.

“It does,” I confirmed with a smile. “So don’t worry; you and Namjoon go back to whatever you were doing, and I’ll try and rope the others into playing.” I jumped up. “Where did Jimin go?

“Here,” Jimin announced as he exited the kitchen. Gracing me with a smile, he revealed, “I thought you would like some tea.”

I grinned. “Thank you! Hey, Jimin?”

“Yes, honey.”

“Do you want to join our after-party, or are you busy, too?”

“Too?” he echoed, but with a glance at Yoongi and Namjoon, he concurred with a chuckle. “Right. Busy. Well, I’m not busy at the moment, so I would love to crash your after-party.”

I giggled, pleased. “It’s not crashing if you’re invited.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No!” I squealed as he lifted me into his arms while balancing my tea.

As our laughter mingled in the air, he carried me upstairs as we called our goodbyes to Namjoon and Yoongi.

By the time we returned with Lyric and Cheverie who had waiting in the hallway—Lyric wasn’t snooping, she swears—Hoseok and Jungkook had returned.

“Jungkook!” Lyric exclaimed, causing him to jump in surprise. “Look at the little dumpling!”

“Dumpling?” Jungkook looked around, confused. “Where?”

She catapulted herself at him, cooing and pinching his cheeks as she compared him to a dumpling.

He blinked rapidly as he struggled to keep up, but when he realized he was the dumpling, he looked at me for help.

“Lyric,” I coaxed. “Jungkook wants to join our after-party.”

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” she crooned.

“But he can’t if you’re suffocating him,” I pointed out. “Let him go, okay?”

“Ugh, fine,” she relented after a few more cheek pinches. “But he’s such a cute dumpling, isn’t that right, Jungkook?”

He blushed, and his voice rose an octave. “Faeryn,” he pleaded.

I hurried to him and pulled him away from Lyric. “It’s okay,” I consoled.

Cheverie said drily, “She needs to learn boundaries.”

Lyric scoffed. “Jungkook doesn’t mind, do you, Jungkook?”

He stammered incoherently before swallowing roughly. “Yes?”

“Shit, you mind? Seriously?” She groaned. “But you’re so cute.”

“You can tell him that from afar,” Cheverie chastised her.

Lyric waved her off. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”

“You never ask for anything,” Cheverie bit out. “You take what you want without heeding other’s opinions and feelings. It’s greedy and selfish which is most likely why your harem broke it off with you but stayed together.”

The room fell silent, and my smile quickly vanished at the sight of the pain scattered across Lyric’s face. Cheverie seemed to realize her words hit deep, but she didn’t backtrack and let the words hang mid-air.

“Well,” Jimin revived the conversation. “How about we all take a break? Lyric, do you want to use the downstairs bathroom? Just walk straight and take a left.”

Without another word, she trudged toward the bathroom. Once she was out of sight, I stared at Cheverie with wide eyes. She caught my look and shook her head rigidly, but Lyric was my friend, and I was upset.

I released Jungkook and walked to Cheverie. “That wasn’t nice.”

Her jaw clenched. “I knew coming in here was a bad idea.”

“Why?” I pressed, trying not to sound offended. “Because you and Lyric can’t figure out how to be civil? You did it at the party, and you did it at our sleepover. Why can’t you just be nice?”

“This isn’t the time.”

“It’s never the time!” I burst. “Cheverie, this is—this isn’t okay. If you and her are going to keep fighting, then just get a new roommate.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Are you telling me to move out?”

“No,” I sputtered indignantly. “Lyric could move out or you. It doesn’t matter. You just can’t keep fighting.”

“You don’t call the decisions in my life,” she said unflinchingly. “You’re not my parent.”

“But I’m your friend,” I insisted. “And I’m just trying to help.”

“Maybe,” she seethed, “you shouldn’t meddle in other people’s relationships. You can’t fix everything, Faeryn.” She walked to the door, grabbed her coat, and pulled her shoes on. “Lyric can get her own ride home. I’m done.”

“Cheverie, please, wait,” I called after her. “I didn’t mean to meddle, I just—I wanted to help.”

She shook her head. “Don’t.” With that, she was gone.

Deflated, I was still for a moment before hurrying after her.

“Don’t,” Jimin advised, standing in my way when I made it to the door. “Let her go.”

“She’s my friend,” I insisted.

“Who needs time to cool off. Okay? Let her go.”

Dashing to the side, I grabbed my flats and slipped them on as I hurried outside. “Cheverie!” I closed the door behind me as I ran after her. “Wait!”

“Faeryn,” she said through her teeth above the roaring snow. “Leave it.”

“No,” I demanded. “I don’t want to leave it. You and Lyric are in pain from fighting all the time even if you won’t admit it, and I care about both of you, and constant fighting can’t be good for you—especially at your apartment where it’s supposed to feel safe.”

Reaching her, I continued hurriedly, “I know we just became friends, and maybe you don’t understand why I’m friends with Lyric because you hate her, but she’s always been kind to me. I hate that she’s not being kind to you, and just because she’s my friend doesn’t mean I don’t see that she’s treating you unfairly like you’re treating her unfairly.”

She stiffened. “This doesn’t matter.”

“Why?” I asked, bewildered and out of breath. “Don’t you want to live in peace?”

“No, Faeryn,” she spat out. “I don’t. Some of us didn’t grow up with peace, so we thrive in chaos. I can’t miss or want peace if I never had it.”

“I…” I blinked slowly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

“By following after me and continuing to talk to me when I said not to? No? You didn’t mean to insult me? Break my boundary?”

I flinched. “I’m—Cheverie, I’m so sorry. I was just trying to help.”

“Does it look like you’re helping? Do I look helped?”

I shook my head over and over.

“Then you didn’t help,” she concluded, upset. “This isn’t your problem to fix because you aren’t a part of it. It’s between Lyric and me, so it’s none of your business.”

“But…if we all hang out together, isn’t it my business when you keep screaming at each other in front of me?”

She blew air from her lips. “Then stop hanging out with us.”

“But I like hanging out with you,” I continued, albeit quieter than before. “I like being friends with you.”

“If you like being friends with me, you’ll respect my boundaries and leave me the hell alone when I ask for space. If you ever cross a boundary I set again, I will cut you out of my life like I’ve cut everyone else out. Understand?”

I backed up. “Yes. I—yes, I understand. I’ll never do it again.”

She unlocked her car, and with a quick glance at me, she muttered, “Go inside. You’re freezing.”

I swallowed with difficulty. “Okay. I—I hope you get home safe in the snow.” Turning on my heel, I ran inside as quickly as I could, struggling not to cry.

Back inside, Lyric was pulling her shoes on but stopped at the sight of me. “Fae,” she breathed out, concerned. “What is it?”

My cheeks burned from the snow and humiliation from my wrong-doing. Brokenly, I revealed, “I broke Cheverie’s boundary.”

“Pfft, fuck that,” she dismissed as she quickly pulled me in for a hug. “She’s a bitch.”

“She’s not,” I said angrily, shoving away from her. “She’s my friend, and I hurt her feelings by breaking her boundary.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Shit, Fae. What is going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me?” I looked at her incredulously. “You’re being mean to Cheverie, you just got into Jungkook’s personal space without permission, I’ve had to listen to you and Cheverie scream most of the night, and you’ve been confusing me the whole night about who you’re actually friends with! I’m tired and mad at myself, and now we can’t have an after-party, and I’m—I’m angry!”

My chest heaved furiously as my features swam with rage, and Lyric put her hands up slowly.

“Okay,” she relented. “Fine. I was a bitch. But Cheverie is too; she always is.”

“You both can’t keep blaming each other and expect there to be a resolution!” I shouted. “And I don’t want to hang out with any of you until you figure that out, or I’m afraid I’ll try to help without meaning to and Cheverie will stop being my friend.” I pointed to the door. “Please go before Cheverie drives away.”

Lyric gaped at me. “Fae, you can’t be serious.”

I stamped my foot. “Please go!”

She jolted, and grabbing her jacket, she only hesitated once, but when met with the steel expressions from the others, she hurried into the night.

I locked the door with difficulty since my fingers kept slipping due to the cold, and Hoseok stepped in to complete the task for me. Breathing heavily, I signed a quick thank you before racing to my room.

Taking a detour into the upstairs bathroom, I locked the door, tugged my dress off, hurried into the shower, and screamed into my palms as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Miserable, angry, and guilty, I berated myself as the hot water streamed down on me.

Long minutes passed of me shaming myself for breaking Cheverie’s boundary and shouting at Lyric, and when the water turned cold, I finally left the shower. Wrapping myself in a towel, I began my walk of shame to my room, unsure how I was going to deal with this disaster when I heard familiar voices downstairs. Upon further realization, my brows tugged together, and I hurried to the staircase. With my body hidden behind the upstairs wall, I peeked my head out to see the commotion.

Everyone was downstairs except for Jin, and Namjoon was in the forefront with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his features.

“There’s too much snow,” Lyric muttered. “The roads haven’t been cleared.”

“I understand that,” Jimin responded rigidly. “But the car has heaters, no? You can wait in there until the roads are cleared. It shouldn’t be long.”

“That’s inhumane,” Lyric sputtered.

Cheverie turned, already done with the conversation and ready to leave, but I blurted, “They can stay.”

Everyone’s eyes drifted to mine.

Embarrassed, I stepped further behind the wall to ensure I was hidden. “I mean…just until the roads are cleared.”

Cheverie eyed me momentarily before looking to the guys for their response.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked me, studying me closely. “You’re exhausted and upset.”

“They can’t stay in Cheverie’s car,” I muttered. Taking a deep breath, I concluded, “They can stay, but I have to change.”

Lyric wouldn’t look at me. “Do you have a change of clothes for us?”

Cheverie muttered, “Don’t bother.”

“Just…wait right here,” I instructed, hoping this was a way to fix the disastrous night. “I’ll be right back.

Notes:

I would love to hear some of your opinions on this chapter and on Lyric!

Chapter 45: The Breaking Point

Summary:

Faeryn hits a breaking point.

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Lyric, Cheverie, and I sat on the floor of my room.

“I’m sorry,” I ventured. “That you can’t drive in the snow.”

Lyric picked at the gems on her acrylics.

Cheverie mumbled, “It’s fine.”

“Do you…both want to stay in here?” I asked rigidly. “I can sleep in another room.”

Cheverie frowned. “This is your room.”

“Yeah, but…you can’t sleep in any other beds here; I can, so I was just…offering.”

She directed her eyes to the floor. “Yeah. Whatever.”

Lyric snapped, “Watch your tone.”

“Stop,” I cut in sharply. “No fighting in my room.” I hurried to my feet. “I’m going.”

“Fae,” Lyric began but trailed off.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re mad at us,” she continued with knitted brows. “I get it, but you and me are friends. I don’t want this to make things weird, okay? Let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” I decided. “I…I don’t want to because I’ll start to get involved, and I don’t want to because Cheverie said not to.”

Lyric’s neck snapped toward Cheverie. “What did you say to her?”

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” I defended. “I’m the one who did something wrong, and I’m going now.”

Just when I opened the door, Cheverie called, “Wait.”

I turned, surprised.

She rubbed her temples. “This is your room, and it doesn’t feel right to make you leave.”

“But you’re not making me,” I refuted with wide eyes. “I decided to leave.”

“If we weren’t here, you would be, and in a way, that’s making you leave.” She unclenched her fist to pat the floor stiffly. “You don’t have to leave.”

I lingered near the door. “It’s…probably best that I do. I’m…I’m really sorry, but I’m afraid I’ll try to fix things and then we won’t be friends anymore, so I’ll go.” Opening the door wider, I stepped outside right as Cheverie spoke.

“My parents were assholes.” I froze as soon as the words left her and turned ever so slowly to face her.

Her throat tightened before relaxing, and she continued, “Every minute of every day, they crossed each boundary I set, telling me that children didn’t need boundaries with their parents.” Her expression was distant, her words leaving her and staining the air. Dampening it. Tainting it. “My mother told me she birthed me, so she could do whatever she wanted.”

She drew small circles around her thumb. “I didn’t realize my first girlfriend was abusing me because my parents made it seem normal, and what they did was worse than what she did, so it was fine. It had to be. But it wasn’t. And she crossed every boundary I set until I broke, turned to alcohol, and failed all of my classes.”

My fingers slipped from the doorknob.

Her lips set into a straight line. “I’ve let too many people walk all over me, but I’ve learned to cut them off before they can hurt me. I’ve also learned that when people cross your boundaries, they’re testing your limits. Testing how much they can get away with.”

She wouldn’t look at Lyric and me, and my heart raced wildly with empathy. “My college offered free therapy sessions, I went, and I eventually stopped drinking and started…working through what my parents did to me. Anyway.”

She folded one leg over the other. “I said all of this to explain that at the first sign of boundary-breaking, I cut people out to keep them from hurting me like my parents and first girlfriend did. It’s…healthy to cut people out who aren’t good for you, but I also think that intentions for boundary-breaking are important.”

She looked at me but avoided eye contact for my sake, settling on my forehead instead. “You wanted to help. You didn’t want to hurt me. I was harsh earlier when you ran out in the snow, and yeah, if you continue breaking boundaries even with good intentions, I will cut you off. I wanted to explain my reasoning because…” She shook her head. “We’re friends, and even though we had an argument, you invited me into your home. I know I would do the same. So I felt like I should explain myself.”

I slowly sat down next to the door.

She exhaled shortly. “Thanks for listening.”

Strained and quiet, I responded, “Thanks for communicating.”

She dipped her chin.

Lyric stared at her. “Are you done?”

Cheverie stiffened and turned to her with narrow eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Are you, like done?” Lyric kept toying with her acrylic gems. “I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Cheverie paused. “No, I’m…done.”

“Well. Fine.” Lyric breathed slowly. “Your parents are shit-eating pieces of shit and deserve to be sixteen feet beneath the dirt instead of just the usual six. I get why you break up with people every month. Your girlfriend should die, too.”

I hugged my knees to my chest and blinked rapidly.

“What?” Lyric asked. “Too harsh?”

Cheverie leaned back, supporting herself with her palms. “Not harsh enough.”

Lyric lifted her chin high. “I know.”

Unsure how to tread such a sensitive topic, I remained silent, not wanting to be insensitive or breach any boundaries without recognizing it until later because of delayed processing.

Cheverie glanced at me. “You all right?”

I nodded quickly.

She squinted. “Did I go into too much detail?” Her forehead pinched. “My therapist said not to trauma dump on people, but I felt like it was important to explain the rigid boundary setting, and it’s…impossible to speak about my life without trauma dumping since it’s all woven into trauma. Shit. I’m sorry.”

“No,” I refuted, waving my hands around quickly. “It’s okay! I just—I—” I panicked. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond, but I feel really sorry that you were treated badly by anybody, especially your parents who were supposed to love you, and I’m so angry at them for hurting you. I’m angry with your girlfriend, too. And I’ve never really had friends besides you and Lyric, so boundaries in friendships are new to me, but I’ll learn everything I can to make sure I follow all of your boundaries because I never want to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

With a sharp breath, I finalized, “I’m really sorry for breaking your boundary today.”

She showed a small smile. “That was pretty good. You know. For not knowing how to respond.”

I exhaled, relieved. “Okay.”

“And stop apologizing. You already have. I accept it, all right? We’re good.”

Relief shuddered through me. “Thank you. And thank you for talking to Lyric and me about this. Was it…hard? Or scary?”

“No.” She slowly shook her head. “It was ordinary life for me, so talking about it feels…ordinary. That’s why it’s hard to tell sometimes if I’m trauma dumping.”

“To you it’s normal,” Lyric summarized. “But to others, it’s hell.”

Cheverie glanced at her, slightly taken aback. “Yeah.”

“Well.” Lyric sighed. “Now I know why you hate me.”

Cheverie lifted a brow. “No, you don’t.”

“Uh, yeah I do. I’m shit at respecting boundaries.”

Cheverie snorted. “She’s self-aware.”

“Which is partly why I was broken up with,” she muttered, annoyed but quiet. “It’s whatever. They’re better off without me.” She glared at Cheverie, but the harshness in her stare left quickly. “I don’t have a traumatic background. I’m just shitty because I am.”

“Your parents probably didn’t teach you how, but yeah. You’re an adult; you can learn on your own.”

Lyric rolled her eyes, but the annoyance drained from her expression. “Whatever.”

Cheverie patted the floor again. “Come back, Faeryn. You don’t have to go.”

I scooted forward on my bottom until I reached them. “Hi,” I offered tentatively. “Since we’re…all sharing, I wanted to share an apology because I shouldn’t have shouted.” Peeking at Lyric, I concluded, “I’m sorry for shouting at you.”

She waved me off. “I was being a bit of a dick. A bitch, if you will. I’m quoting Cheverie here.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I persisted quietly. “I shouldn’t have shouted. We’re supposed to use our words and communicate.”

“Well, you did.” She winked. “Just at a very loud volume.”

My nose scrunched. “Lyric.”

“Yessss?”

“I’m sorry.”

She heaved out a sigh. “Well, if you must apologize, I forgive you, and I’m sorry for being a dick tonight. Shouting at Cheverie, pushing Jungkook’s boundaries, and confusing you.”

“Thank you,” I breathed out. “I forgive you, too. I’ve…” I cocked my head. “We’ve never had to forgive each other before.”

She grinned. “This just means we’ve reached a new bestie status.”

I started to smile with her. “Really?”

“Duh! It’s the hashtag besties forever status.”

I giggled. “Okay.” My shoulders slumped. “Thanks, Lyric.” I turned to Cheverie as I cradled my sock-padded feet in my palms. “Thank you, Cheverie.”

She winced. “Why are you thanking me?”

“Oh! For forgiving me and for communicating with us.”

She scratched the side of her face. “You’re welcome?”

Lyric gave her a look. “A little effort would be nice.”

Cheverie blinked. “I’m not used to talking after a boundary has been broken. I’m gone by then.”

Lyric paused. “Well. There’s that.”

With difficulty, Cheverie amended, “You’re welcome, Faeryn. Thank you for…” She trailed off, and when our eyes skimmed momentarily, she mouthed an apology for doing so.

Quick to refute her apology, I said, “It’s okay! I can make eye contact sometimes.”

“It’s uncomfortable for you, you said.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I can—”

“No. I’ll try not to do it.”

Lyric pushed onto her stomach and rested her chin in her palms. “‘Thank you for…’ what?”

Cheverie bit the inside of her cheek. “Thank you for…”

Lyric sighed. “Any day now.”

“Lyric,” I chided lightly, then paused, distraught. “Was that considered getting involved? I’m so sorry!”

Cheverie exhaled. “I don’t think that’s…no. I don’t think so. I meant more so not to get involved when we’re having an actual argument.”

“Oh,” I agreed uncertainly. “Okay.”

Cheverie returned to supporting her weight with her palms. “I’m not sure what to thank you for, but I know there’s something.”

Lyric provided in an exaggerated whisper, “Thank you for apologizing and promising to follow my boundaries from now on.”

Cheverie paused, considered, and concluded, “Thank you for apologizing and promising to follow my boundaries from now on, Faeryn. Thanks.”

“Oh! Okay,” I rushed out. “Please don’t thank me for that. It’s the bare minimum.”

Cheverie rubbed her temples. “I’m shit at this.”

“Well…it was Lyric’s idea,” I offered, smiling sheepishly when Lyric put a hand to her heart in faux hurt. “So, Cheverie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a little confused. It’s okay to tell Lyric to stop teasing you, but it’s not okay to get involved in your arguments? What if…what if you both hit each other? I thought you were going to do that earlier today, and I was a little scared because I don’t you to hurt each other. Am I…just supposed to let you hurt each other?”

Cheverie hesitated. “Well, no. Uh…okay. This is a…fuzzy boundary.”

“Maybe,” Lyric drawled. “It’s because Faeryn is just trying to help our unhealthy roommate situationship.”

Cheverie’s eyes shot to her. “We’re not in a situationship.”

“Aren’t we?”

“No!” Cheverie sputtered. “Do you even know the meaning of situationship?”

“I’ve been in my fair share, so yup! Thanks for asking though. Appreciate it, honey bug.”

“Call me that one more time. See what happens.”

“See?” Lyric exclaimed. “This is when Faeryn fears for our safety. Although, Fae darling, I would win in a fight, so don’t worry your pretty little head.”

I gaped at them, and high-pitched, I panicked, “What am I supposed to do?!” I flapped my hands anxiously. “Let’s just not hang out together anymore, okay? I can hang out with you both separately, and when we do, please don’t complain about each other. Okay? Please?”

Cheverie nodded slowly. “Yeah. That’s probably best.”

Lyric scoffed. “We’re like toddlers she can’t train.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“Um, no actually. I’ll speak for both of us.”

“Please,” I begged, strained. “Not in my room.”

Lyric sighed. “Sorry, Fae. The argumentative spirit carries me away. Lack of trauma, yes, but my dad sure knew how to throw words around with my mom. Their arguments were peak entertainment.”

Cheverie lifted a brow. “That could be traumatic if they were always arguing.”

“Pfft, please. I would know if I was traumatized.”

“Not…necessarily.”

“Don’t diagnosis me, what the fuck.”

“Jesus.” Cheverie lay flat on her back. “Whatever.”

I blinked at them. “Well…should we play spin the bottle?”

They looked at me.

“What?” I squeaked. “We had fun when we played it at our girl’s night, so I just…I don’t know. I thought we could try and have fun again because I can’t really separate both of you right now.”

Lyric groaned. “Ugh, fine! But I get to go first.”

I jumped up hopefully. “I’ll get a bottle!”

Hurrying downstairs, I came to a halt when I realized Jimin was at the bottom of the stairs. He waited until I arrived, and when I looked up at him, I hung my head.

“Hey,” he murmured.

I lifted my face cautiously.

“Don’t beat yourself up for trying to help.” He gently nudged my chin with his knuckles. “I know you’ll already follow her boundaries from now on, so there’s no need to tell you that.”

I nodded vigorously. “And I told her I was sorry. Right now, we’re going to play spin the bottle to hopefully have fun together, but after that, I won’t hang out with them together so I won’t be tempted to try to help.”

“That’s a good plan,” he commended.

“Thank you,” I said, relieved. “I hoped so. I just—I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You’re not responsible for their faulty relationship, are you, honey? It’s up to them to resolve it.”

“I know,” I confirmed, conflicted. “But it’s so easy to communicate.”

“Not always,” he corrected gently. “It’s still a little hard for you sometimes, isn’t it?”

I blushed.

“It’s okay,” he said with a light chuckle. “Sometimes we forget things used to be hard when we’ve gotten so good at it, but we had to practice to get to that point. They have to want to practice, and they know that. There’s nothing you can do, honey, and I know it’s not fun to watch people you care about fight, but it will be easier when you don’t have to see them interact after tonight.”

“Okay,” I said quietly, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sound insensitive by saying communicating was easy. It’s still hard for me sometimes too, but I…I just forgot how hard it used to always be.”

“I’m happy you forgot,” he revealed. “It means you’re growing. But let’s not forget enough to abandon empathy, okay?”

My eyes widened. “I won’t. I’m really sorry, Jimin. I—I feel like I did so many things wrong today, and my stomach is just—it’s in so many knots because I feel so guilty.”

“Faeryn,” he murmured. “Don’t beat yourself up. Making mistakes is a normal part of life, and you resolved it with an apology and a truthful promise to do better going forward.”

“But I feel so guilty,” I stressed, clutching my stomach. “Inside. It’s like…eating me alive. And making me feel sick.”

“You made things right, okay? There’s no reason to feel guilty.”

“But I hurt Cheverie,” I whispered. Looking down at my hands, I clenched them into fists. “Even though I didn’t want or mean to. Why would I do that? You even told me to let her go, and I didn’t listen.”

He angled my chin up to face him. “Did you apologize?”

“Yes, but—”

“Yes or no answers only, honey. Hm? Yes or no.”

I gnawed on my lip. “Yes.”

“Did she accept your apology?”

“Yes…”

“And you’re all about to play a game even when there was an argument not too long ago?”

“Yes.”

“Then the issue has been resolved between you and Cheverie.” He swiped his thumb against my chin. “Ruminating on it won’t benefit anyone.”

“But what if I do it again because I stop thinking about sticking to the boundary?”

“That’s unlikely.”

“How do you know?” I stressed, clasping my hands worriedly. “I don’t really have friends, and I…I want to do whatever it takes to keep being friends with Cheverie. She’s really nice, and she’s had a really hard past, and I want to be the best friend I can be. I…I haven’t really had a lot of practice because I haven’t really had friends before besides Lyric this year, so I know maybe I’ll make a few mistakes, but it makes me so mad.”

“Everyone makes mistakes when learning new things,” he said softly. “Being upset with yourself isn’t very kind.”

“I…” My brows furrowed. “I don’t want to be unkind.”

“Then be gentle with yourself. Patient, too. It takes time. But I know you, honey. You’ll respect her boundaries because you respect her and friendship as a whole. It means a lot to you, and like you said, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep it.”

He cupped my cheek. “You’re okay. Today was a lot, wasn’t it? You’re feeling a lot of things, guilt and anger being some of them, hm? It’ll pass like all hard things do.”

“But what do I do when it hasn’t passed yet?”

“We breathe through it.”

“And…and the knots in my stomach? Even when I breathe, they’re still there.”

“They’ll pass, too. I promise.” He caressed my cheek. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” I confirmed vigorously.

“Then trust my promise that it will pass if you keep on breathing,” he murmured. “And if things upstairs get intense like earlier, you come find one of us. Lyric and Cheverie are adults; if they fight, they can deal with it. Just leave them to it.”

“It’s so hard,” I blurted. “I want to help so much.”

He breathed deeply as his eyes traveled along my face, and eventually, his other hand lifted to cup the back of my neck. “Just like you want to help Kenley. I know.”

My breath stuttered, and when I tried to speak, I failed.

“You can’t help everyone,” he said with firm yet gentle understanding. “People’s decisions and choices are theirs to make, even if they’re wrong. You can try to lead them the right away until you’re blue in the face, but even if you force them with you, their mind remains unchanged. They have to change on their own accord, and no matter what you do, you can’t help them.”

My voice broke. “But why?”

He sighed quietly. “It’s just how it is.”

“I don’t…but I don’t understand,” I persisted. “If it hurts them, why do they keep doing it?”

“Sometimes it’s all they know how to do, and sometimes, they don’t realize how wrong it is.” He tilted his head. “I think you know that.”

I stared at him until it dawned on me, and humiliation burned my cheeks. “When…when I didn’t realize that Ryker was abusive.”

He was quiet, simply caressing the back of my neck and cheek as he allowed me to process.

“But…but that’s different?” I asked carefully. “From Lyric and Cheverie’s situation?”

“It is, but not with Kenley’s situation. Either way, it’s out of your hands.”

I looked at my hands and clenched them into fists. Slamming them into my thighs, I spat out, “Useless.”

“Hey.” He gripped my wrists and brought my hands up to his chest, and startled, I looked into his face to see his stern expression. “Don’t you dare.”

I swallowed and blinked rapidly.

“You are not useless,” he negated heatedly. “And you will treat yourself with kindness, am I understood, Faeryn? No hitting and no calling yourself useless. Am I,” he repeated, dipping his face to mine, “understood?”

The difference in his cadence, the lack of pet names, and the creases in his forehead caused my spine to straighten and my fingers to flick.

“Faeryn,” he warned.

I jolted, and hit with an abrupt sense of strong justice, I tried to rip away from him as I said loudly, “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

He didn’t release me, keeping me right where I was. “You can’t hit yourself.”

Throwing his words in his face, I seethed, “You can’t make my choices for me.”

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek. “All right.” He released me. “Go ahead. Hit yourself.”

I stared at him as my chest heaved. “You can’t make me.”

“Fine. Don’t hit yourself.”

Confused, my fists lifted slightly from my thigh before falling back lamely. “You…can’t tell me what to do.”

“Do whatever you’d like.”

My lips parted with confusion and closed in the same manner. “I…can hit myself or not hit myself whenever I want to.”

“Sure. But there will be consequences.”

My pulse quickened. “You…?”

“Self-inflicted consequences. Your body will be in pain, worsening your state of mind, and making you feel worse. But please; go ahead. Find that out for yourself because you’re right; I can’t stop you. I can just watch or make the choice to walk away.”

My eyes flickered around the area rapidly as I struggled to keep up. “No, you…can’t.”

“You can’t make my choices for me.”

My chest rose and fell unsteadily. “But…you promised.”

“I don’t have to stay here right now when you’re openly hurting yourself and said you will continue to. It doesn’t only hurt you; it hurts everyone involved.”

“You promised,” I reinstated.

“And you promised to communicate, but here you are opting for self-harm instead.”

“I’m…not,” I tried.

“You are.”

I shook my head rapidly. “It was just my thigh.”

“And you still hit it.” His brow raised slowly. “Self. Harm.”

My head shakes slowed but quickly resumed its swift pace. “You…won’t leave.” I searched his face rapidly, catching his eyes a few times for a quick assessment before I broke eye contact. “If I stop?”

“Correct.”

“You’re…” I clenched my hands repeatedly. “Talking strange.”

“I’m talking seriously about a serious topic.” He folded his arms across his chest. “It’s strange because I’ve never had to use this tone with you. Isn’t it?”

My voice wavered. “Yes.”

“Am I making my point?”

“I…” I looked around hurriedly. “I stop, and you don’t leave. If people…” I thought as best as I could with what felt like limited time. “Keep hurting themselves, it hurts people around them. Bad decisions hurt them, just like Kenley staying with Ryker is hurting her and constant arguing and tension hurts Cheverie and Lyric. It hurts me too because I have to watch them suffer. And I…”

My breaths were sporadic. “I told Cheverie and Lyric I couldn’t hang out with them anymore because I was scared I would break Cheverie’s boundary by trying to help, and…and because it hurts to see them insult each other. And…and Kenley.”

My throat tightened. “Ryker’s probably hurting her right now, and there’s nothing I can do. It…” I clutched my chest right where my heart beat wildly. “It hurts that she’s hurting.”

“You can’t be around them when they continue making choices that hurt them because it hurts you,” he summarized.

“But I can help,” I insisted even as my voice wavered.

“Could I help you when you hit yourself, or were you going to keep hitting yourself if that’s what you decided to do?”

My breath hitched.

“Answer me, baby.”

“No,” I managed, the pet name confusing after the brief pause without it. “You couldn’t help me. Maybe…try to convince me.”

“But that was all I could do, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “You…felt hopeless? And…out of control?”

“Not hopeless, but yes. Out of control.”

“Not hopeless?”

“I know you’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, and angry, so everything is heightened, but you’ll make the right decision once you’re calm. So no. I wasn’t and am not hopeless.”

“So you don’t know how I feel? Hopeless?”

“I’ve unfriended people because of the bad decisions they made,” he corrected. “I distanced from them over time until we stopped talking completely.”

“What…happened to them?”

“He’s not doing well, but there’s nothing more I can do.”

“How do you live with that?” I demanded to know. “How can you not help him?”

“Because I already did everything I could to help him.”

“How do you know it was everything you could do?”

“If I did anymore, I would’ve walked with him, and his path isn’t one I want to join. At that point, I knew I did everything I could do.”

I teared up. “No,” I whispered. “It’s…no. There has to be more I can do. If Kenley is in pain and suffering, I can’t just sit here.”

“You’re not just sitting here,” he denied. “You’re living your life, and she’s living yours. We’re all adults who live our lives differently. Let her go, Faeryn. Her life isn’t yours to fix or change.”

My nose tickled with feeling. “I can’t.”

“You’ll have to.”

“Why?”

“It will ruin you otherwise.”

“You make it sound so easy,” I accused.

“It isn’t easy, but it gets easier.” He exhaled shortly. “With time. I used to be torn up about it, and sometimes, it still pains me to think about, but we can’t live our only life worrying about someone else’s life. Does that sound like your life or borrowing someone else’s?”

I stammered incoherently before pressing my lips together tightly.

“Think about it,” he resumed. “It’s important.”

“We’re…” My eyes skimmed his again. “In a fight.”

“In a fight,” he repeated. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“It’s more of an argument. A disagreement.”

“It feels like a fight. I…” I pressed my nails into my palms. “I feel so angry at you.”

“That’s okay. You can be angry with me.”

“You…you’re angry with me?”

“No.”

Stunned, I wondered, “Why not? I…I hit my thigh, and you aren’t calling me honey.”

His features filled with realization, and he exhaled shortly. “No, baby, I’m not angry because I’m not calling you honey. I’ll never drop the pet name if I’m truly angry with you.” His tone softened slightly. “I know that’s what Ryker did, and I’ll never do that to you.”

“Oh, you…won’t do that?” I nodded. “Thanks for telling me.” I paused. “Even if I thanked you, we’re still in a fight because I’m still mad at you. And…even if we’re communicating, I’m still mad.” I clutched my stomach. “I don’t understand that.”

“You’re not used to this, so it’s confusing. It’s okay to be confused; you can feel it.”

“What do I do with it? I just want it to go away.”

“It won’t go away until you allow yourself to feel it.”

I clawed at my stomach. “I want it gone.”

He carefully eased my hand away from my stomach and folded it into his. “The pain is in here.” Lifting our intertwined hands, he gently caressed where my heart pounded in my chest. “Not in your stomach.”

I started to cry. “Don’t be nice to me when we’re in a fight. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.”

“It is,” he told me. “We’re always supposed to be kind even when we’re arguing.” He applied pressure to our hands to stabilize me. “You’ll get used to it someday, honey. I promise.”

“You told me not to go after Cheverie,” I choked out. “Because you knew it wouldn’t end well.”

“I did, but you had to realize that for yourself.” His forehead nudged mine. “Life is about learning. This is our first life just like it’s our only life. Be gentle; this is your first time.”

My tears quickened. “I’m just so tired.”

“Today was a lot. I know.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, torn. “I wanted to play spin the bottle so we could all have fun, but the first friends I finally have after my whole life hate each other, so that might not be a good idea.” I cried earnestly. “I’m so confused.”

He gently wiped my tears. “About?”

“Friendships,” I stammered, clinging to his hand that wiped my tears. “Relationships. And…and people I want to protect but can’t because they don’t want my help. Why is everything so complicated?”

“Because life is complicated,” he murmured. “Everything about it, but it’s also beautiful. The fact that you’re afraid of Ryker, someone who deeply traumatized you, but still braved the possible chance of seeing him again, rehashing what he did to you, and hearing what he did to Kenley just so you could try to help her out of a dangerous situation is beautiful.

“You wanting to help your friends feel better by being friends instead of enemies is beautiful. You communicating your feelings even when you’re upset with me is beautiful and showcases how much you’ve grown. Growth is so beautiful, Faeryn. Seeing how much you care about people, even ones you don’t know very well, is beautiful and shows me that there is still kindness in the complication and cruelty of this world and life itself.

“We have to focus on the beauty of life or the cruelty will wrap us up within it, and the anger you’re feeling will overtake you if it’s always felt with no reprieve. I don’t think you want that. And if you keep worrying about other’s peace and happiness, you’ll forget about yours. No one will be happy then.”

My tears streamed down my cheeks to my shirt. “It doesn’t feel beautiful that I want to help when no one is accepting it. It feels…painful and lonely.”

“But you’re not alone. You have yourself, you have us, and you still have friends even though they fight each other.”

I covered my face with my hands, and with a sob, I fell forward and let him catch me. He held me together, pulling me into his arms and cradling my face to his chest.

“Breathe,” he murmured. “I’m here.”

I clung to him as my body shook with emotion. “Please don’t leave me even if I hit my leg. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do it to hurt myself—it was just like an action of frustration like throwing your hands up when you’re annoyed.”

“I know, but let’s not hit ourselves no matter the reason. It hurts us no matter the reason.”

“But…what about when I hit my head when I’m trying to regulate?”

“That’s a little different.”

“You won’t be mad?”

“We’ve been working to find ways to help you regulate in different ways,” he explained softly. “But if you slip up and do the only thing that helps during an Autistic meltdown, of course I won’t be mad. I understand.”

Shaking with relief, I hugged him tightly. “I don’t want to be in a fight with you, but I…I still feel a little mad at you. You scared me when you didn’t call me honey.”

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” He returned my embrace strongly. “That wasn’t my intention, but you know now that I’ll never do that out of anger because it would trigger you, okay? Does that make you feel better about that?”

I sniffled. “Yeah. And it…made me realize the conversation was serious. But I just got scared, too.”

“I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“I’m…sorry for raising my voice.”

“Do we forgive each other?”

“I forgive you,” I said quickly.

“And I forgive you.” He kissed the top of my head repeatedly.

I nuzzled my face deeper into his sweatshirt. “Can I want to stay with you even if I’m still mad?”

“Of course you can.”

“Okay. I…was just asking because I don’t know how this really works.”

“You can always ask if you don’t know something. That’s how we learn, right?”

“Right,” I said quietly. “Maybe I’ll…process this better later.” My blush was hidden in his form. “Because of delayed processing.”

“Don’t feel guilty about our argument later,” he advised. “We already apologized. Hm? We’re okay.”

The tears resumed quickly. “I probably will feel guilty later, Jimin. I…I can already feel it in my stomach now.”

“Oh, honey.” He lowered his face to mine and gently eased it out of his shirt. “You can’t live like this. Constant guilt over small mistakes and worrying about other people’s lives isn’t fun.”

My lip trembled. “Not fun.”

He was quiet, simply looking down at me as he caressed my temples. “Honey.”

I blinked through my tears. “Yes?”

“Have you seen the improvement in Yoongi’s mood?”

Confused at the sudden topic change, I managed a nod.

“Do you know why that is?” he asked gently.

“It’s the new medication he’s taking and…maybe starting therapy?”

“That’s right,” he murmured. “He told me today that he’s relieved about the medication working and for having hope that therapy will work, especially after his initial session today. He thought it was a good match, and that gave him more hope.”

“Hope?” The thought of his hope for better made my chest warm slightly. “That’s really great.”

He continued caressing my hair, and when he remained quiet, I blinked.

“Jimin,” I began cautiously. “Are you…telling me to start therapy?”

“I’m wondering if it would make you feel better.” He kissed my forehead. “You can’t keep living like this. I know it hurts you; I can see it, and as much as I don’t want you in pain, I know you don’t want it even more.”

“But…therapy is a big deal,” I whispered, strained.

“It’s a big deal because the results can be big. It can help you if you let it, Faeryn, and if you find the right therapist for you.” When I didn’t respond, he murmured, “Hm? What do you think?”

“How would they even help me?” I blurted.

“There’s…” He took a moment to gather his words before resuming. “Things you haven’t processed because you haven’t had the time to. It’s been back-to-back trauma since your parents died, and that was two years ago. A therapist can help by listening, offering coping skills, and helping you see things you didn’t see before.”

“Coping skills?”

“Things to do to help you feel better.”

“Yeah, but…can’t I just do that by myself?”

“Of course,” he confirmed. After a moment, he prompted, “Can you?”

I fell silent.

“It’s okay if you can’t,” he picked back up. “That’s something therapists help with.”

“I…don’t want to think about therapy right now.” I avoided eye contact with him. “It makes me feel like something’s wrong.”

“Something is wrong, honey, and you’re in pain because of it.”

“I can fix it,” I refuted. “I can find coping mechanisms.”

“It’s not just up to you to do that. It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it does,” I said snippily.

His thumb rubbed my temples tenderly. “Why do you think so?”

“Because I have to,” I persisted. “I have to figure it out, then I can fix it.”

“Why can’t someone be there to help you figure it out?”

“Because!”

He let my words settle before asking, “Because what?”

I couldn’t quite catch my breath as I revealed hastily, “My parents used to figure it out for me, help their autistic child who had trouble processing, but now they’re dead, and sometimes, I think it would be easier if I were too—then there would be no thinking, no trying so hard to socialize, no constant rumination, no pain every time I open my mouth to add to the conversation, and no constant worrying about everyone else’s pain.

“This—this empathy.” I clutched my shirt where it covered my chest. “It’s killing me. No matter what, there’s always a time of day when it feels like I’m dying, and I don’t have my mom to curl up to or my dad for advice—or my grandmother to bake cookies in silence with, or mindlessly work in my grandfather’s workshop when I need something to make all the noise in my head stop.”

I breathed heavily. “I have to figure it out because I’ve had to since they died, and I should’ve had it figured out by now. They raised me to know how, but I—I still don’t know, and I know better; I should know how to figure things out and stop letting them confuse me.”

My features crumbled. “They always had the right answers, so I didn’t think to memorize them. I…I never expected them not to be here to help me figure things out.” I burst into tears. “Things have been so hard.”

He was very quiet as he pulled me back into his arms, but he let me sob into his shirt and wet it with my sadness.

“No spin the bottle tonight,” he spoke when my body slumped in his arms with exhaustion. His voice was tainted with rasp and a hint of sorrow, and my heart bled with more guilt for evoking the change. “We’ll get you set up in my room tonight.”

“But—”

“No.” He lifted me bridal style into his arms. “This isn’t up for discussion, and you can be angry with me, but I can live with that.”

Too exhausted to argue further, I rested my head on his shoulder and continued crying.

Yoongi’s bedroom door opened, and I looked over blearily to see him step out of his room. Taking in the sight of my never-ending tears, he walked over quickly and quietly.

Lifting his hands, he signed, “What is it?”

“Tired,” I croaked.

His features creased with concern, only causing my guilt to grow, and I cried harder, making myself sick.

From the top of the stairs, Lyric demanded, “What did you do?!”

I jolted due to her voice’s volume, and angrily, Jimin said in a raised tone, “Go back into her room and stay there, or you and Cheverie will be sleeping in your car.”

“What the fuck? Who did you think you’re talking to?!” Her footsteps quickly descended the stairs. “She’s my best friend, and you—”

“She is the love of my life,” he seethed, effectively cutting her off, “and you, Lyric, are part of what pushed her into this state of exhaustion because of how you and Cheverie acted today. If you’re the best friend you claim you are, act like it and back up.”

Startled at the height of the rising tension, Yoongi attempted to salvage the situation he hadn’t fully been clued in on. “Let’s separate,” he suggested. “As of right now, it is for the best.” Gesturing upstairs, he offered Lyric, “You can stay in Faeryn’s room, but please go now. Tensions are high, and continuing at this rate is not smart. I think we are all aware of that.”

Before she could continue, already red in the face with frustration, he added, “Faeryn is all right. She is most likely overstimulated, and in this state, every bad feeling is heightened to feel so much worse. I think you can understand why she needs no more stress right now, so please, can you kindly return to her room? I would greatly appreciate it.”

She glared at him, but when my breath caught on a sob, she hesitated. “Fae? Please tell me you’re okay. Did they do anything?”

“Did we do anything?” Jimin repeated with a harsh scoff. “You and Cheverie have tormented her all day by forcing her to listen to your childish arguing, but we did something to her? Maturity is earned, Lyric, and you’re severely lacking.”

“We didn’t force her to listen to us argue,” she fought back.

“No,” he spat out. “You just invited her to a party you insisted would be fun, then proceeded to make it a horrible night full of arguing.”

“She said she had fun,” she insisted angrily.

His voice breached a shout. “Does she look like she had fun?”

“All right, okay, that is enough,” Yoongi said hurriedly. “This is not right, and it will make everything worse. Lyric, this is our home, so please either return to her room or to your car.”

When she made a move to continue arguing just as my next breath stammered, Yoongi said forcefully, “We will call the police to escort you out otherwise.”

“No!” I shouted, surprising everyone into silence. “Stop it, stop it! Stop fighting!” I didn’t stop my hands from reaching my head, and over and over, I hit it to relieve the building pressure. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!”

Jimin swore under his breath, and acting quickly, he set me down, grabbed my wrists, and turned us to face the door. With my back to his chest, he wrapped his arms around my chest and applied pressure.

“Breathe,” he warned although he was breathless himself.

“Leave me alone, leave me alone!” I screamed. “I—I have to—”

He wouldn’t release my hands, and his grip kept me still, only making me scream louder.

“What the hell?” Cheverie asked, suddenly appearing.

“She’s having a meltdown,” Lyric panicked. “What the fuck, what the fuck. She told me about this, but—”

“Shut up,” Namjoon snapped, and from my peripheral, I could see him exiting Yoongi’s room. “Everything about you is pissing me off.” Beside Jimin and me in seconds, he instructed, “Take her to Yoongi’s room. Now. Lyric, Cheverie, with me. Now.”

Lyric and Cheverie were silent, and when Jimin turned with me, I caught sight of their pale expressions.

Screaming and kicking as I struggled to get away from Jimin, I choked on my tears as he carried me into Yoongi’s room. The last thing I saw before he closed the door was Namjoon leading Cheverie and Lyric upstairs.

“Faeryn,” Yoongi said, slightly breathless. “We are here for you.”

I screamed and cried, desperate for the pressure in my head to dissipate, but the guilt and anger fed off of each other, building and swirling until I felt nauseous.

“What triggered this?” Namjoon demanded as he entered the room barely a minute later. “And where is Jin? He won’t pick up his phone.”

“He is still shopping,” Yoongi revealed with his attention still glued to me, reaching forward when I tried to hit my head again, but Jimin kept my hands still, only earning loud protests from me.

“He won’t be able to get here,” Namjoon said through his teeth as he approached Jimin and me, “when the roads aren’t paved.” In front of me, he pulled me from Jimin, sat on the bed, and tugged me into his arms, commanding Jimin, “On the other side of her now.”

Jimin listened immediately, and they both kept me sandwiched between them, their heat and strong forms keeping me still. Though I tried to thrash around to escape, they were too strong, and I could barely move.

All I could fathom was everything I did wrong today, severe guilt because of it, and horrible things Ryker could currently be doing to Kenley that I couldn’t stop. Weak; I felt so indescribably weak.

I couldn’t save myself, I already knew that, but hit with the overwhelming truth that I couldn’t save anyone else was debilitating. I couldn’t save my parents or grandparents from death, I couldn’t save Kenley from Ryker, and I couldn’t save Lyric and Cheverie from the pain their insults caused each other.

And I couldn’t save myself from the overwhelming guilt and blame for all of it.

“Stop,” I begged. “Make it stop.”

“Stop what?” Namjoon’s mouth was close to my ear, and his firm, gentle hands were a strange contrast to the sheer flurry of pain occurring in my gut.

“The pain,” I sobbed, barely breathing. “My head.”

“Do you have a headache?” he asked, immediately massaging my temples. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere,” I shrieked, beside myself. “My heart, my head, my—my body. Just make it stop!”

His hold on me tightened, and he pressed kisses to my head as he returned to fully holding me. “It will pass,” he stated firmly.

“Just like my parents,” I shouted, breaking apart. “And my grandparents. They passed, and I’ll never see them again.”

I sobbed into his chest as my heart shattered. “My family.”

His voice was uncharacteristically quiet. Pained. “Faeryn.”

Jimin spoke up, equally as pained. “She’s trying to process, but it’s too much. She’s pushed it off for too long, and it’s all—”

“Coming back up at once,” Namjoon concluded gravely. “Overwhelming her.”

Yoongi decided, “She needs to sleep.”

Namjoon exhaled sharply. “That’s the plan, but at that moment—”

“Sleep,” Yoongi reinstated. Approaching the bed, he pulled Namjoon’s arm back, and the latter allowed it out of surprise. “Let her go.”

“Yoongi,” Namjoon warned. “She’ll hit her head, and we can’t have that.”

“The head is strong,” Yoongi responded. “She will be fine.”

“Yoongi,” Jimin said, looking at him uncertainly.

“You need to let her go,” Yoongi commanded. When they continued looking at him, he breathed in and out through his nose, pulled at Namjoon’s arm again, and entreated, “Trust me.”

Although uncertain, the bond they had with Yoongi won, and trust took the reigns as they released me. I immediately returned to hitting my head, breathing rapidly with relief, and continued at full force.

Namjoon and Jimin made a move to stop me, but Yoongi stepped forward and gently grabbed my upper arm, using it to guide me out of his room. I couldn’t see through my tears as I hit my head in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, but I heard the front door open. Felt the chill of the air and snowflakes landing on my nose. Saw the sudden change of light even with my blurry vision. The roar of the wind, the rustling of the trees, the light beep of Yoongi’s watch to alert of the new hour.

He led me onto the porch after putting my boots on, and a short gasp left me when they were instantly buried in the snow. The sensations began from my toes to my ankles, up up up to my knees, thighs, waist, and then—my stomach erupted with chills, traveling until it reached my chest, throat, and head. Chilled to the bone, snowflakes swirled in my gut, mixing with anger and guilt in an attempt to thaw it. Churning and whirring, trying to salvage my pain, pushing it around until it formed a snowball that thawed and made me shiver.

My hair stuck to my tear-stained cheeks, red and blotted from exhaustion and the cold, and without thinking, I dropped to my knees. Engulfed by the snow, I pressed my face into it, and everything that felt wrong pushed itself out of me into the loudest, heart-wrenching scream my entire being could fathom.

Snowflakes fell, each one different from the last, and I screamed into the home they created on the front porch. I was suffocating in the snow, each scream louder than the last but muffled, and when I pulled away to inhale lost air, I screamed into the snowy night.

The trees rustled in response, dancing to my pain and waving their branches at me. I screamed at them next. Then the sky and stars and whatever clouds the darkness hadn’t hidden, wondering if my family could hear me. Wondering if they blamed me for not being able to save them, too.

“When we grow older,” my grandmother told me as we baked. “We lose things.”

I scrunched my nose. “Lose what things? Like…toys?”

Her silvery laugh mimicked my mother’s, and I found myself smiling up at her from my stepping stool near the oven.

“We could,” she responded. “But we can lose more important things. People. Friends. Family.”

“No,” I denied. “Family stays together; that’s what Mom says.”

“They should,” she confirmed, tucking her silver hair behind her ear. “But darling, sometimes family can grow apart. Families can pass on to something bigger than we can understand.”

“No,” I refuted with wide eyes. “Grandma, no, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“When we lose things, it’s painful. It hurts us somewhere deep within, and we feel like we won’t ever recover. Everything is…dull, but it also aches. A constant stabbing pain in your chest and mind.”

“Grandma,” I pleaded with teary eyes. “Let’s bake cookies.”

“Darling, we won’t have each other forever, and I want you to remember this.” She swept my hair away from my forehead, matted from the hot summer day. “Enjoy the moments we have together even when we’re not together anymore; memories are treasures, and we must treasure them.”

I abandoned the cookies and hugged her waist tightly. “Grandma, stop. You’re not leaving me, and you’re right here.”

“When we lose things,” she said quietly with gentle pats to the back of my head, “we sometimes forget we can still gain things. New people, new experiences, new things to love. A loss isn’t the end; a loss is simply a loss, not the end of all gains. When you think of me, Faeryn, be happy that we had time together. That in this life, we were grandmother and granddaughter.”

She cupped my face with sticky fingers from cookie batter. “Isn’t that too special to let death taint?”

“Death?” I cried out. “Grandma, stop, you’re making me sad.”

She hugged me tightly. “Oh, darling. I love you very much, but we old folk like to prepare, and I know how you ruminate. Don’t let my death stop you from living. You are far too young to cancel out everything new, and even when you’re old and gray like me, there is always something new to find. The world—no, the universe—is far too vast. Love is love, and love is everywhere. As such, loss can never truly take love away.”

“You won’t leave me,” I insisted. “You’ll live to be really old.”

“Even so,” she murmured. “Everyone has their due date.”

“Oh, Grandma,” I sobbed.

“Oh, shh, darling. It will be all right. It all will be. With or without me, you will love me, and I will love you.”

I looked up to the sky, tears mixing with the snow painting my cheeks, and reached for my grandmother. For my grandfather and parents. For the people I loved who painted the sky in glittery stars, speckled with stardust and beautiful things I couldn’t quite touch. Couldn’t quite see. Couldn’t quite fathom.

And I missed them.

Ryker’s inflicted pain kept me focused on survival, but now that I was safe, grief plummeted deep in my stomach and increased the urge to curl into a ball and mourn my family.

My family, oh, my family. I still needed them. But they were gone.

I pushed my hands into the snow and held its hand as if it were a family member, letting the chill seep into my being as if it could fix what had become of my heart.

Maybe I was overstimulated and couldn’t tell. Or maybe I was truly and wholly sad. Maybe I was both. Maybe I just needed it all to stop hurting. Needed life to stop being so hard to live. To navigate. To understand. So simple for others, so difficult for me.

Tears dripped down my chapped lips, and I spoke the truth into the night air.

“I hate that I’m Autistic!” My yells echoed throughout the yard. “I hate it!”

The words echoed back at me, reverberating through me as if reminding me I couldn’t escape from myself. Couldn’t escape from my diagnosis and how it affected every part of my life and who I was.

Infuriated, I stood and ran into the yarn, sobbing and leaving Yoongi behind. I fell a few steps into my run, but the snow blanketed my fall, and with my hands pushed back into it, I screamed, “I miss my family!”

Words kept pouring out of me. Gibberish, incoherent nonsense, and true, undiluted truths. Confessions. Things I hated about myself, what I missed about my family, and how I felt like I couldn’t do this without them.

But the one recurring truth was the exhaustion homing in my bones since I was born, burdened with my diagnosis. How it would affect me and my relationships. And how I wished to be free of it, even for one day to see how free I would feel.

My mother said it was wrong to wish for a life without Autism, but I wished for it sometimes. And now, I wished for it more than I ever had. Without her to guide me through it, it felt more troublesome. More burdensome. And without her hand to hold, I was grasping through the darkness, unsure of which road to take next.

In the thick of my emotions, I forget the seven men I had fallen so desperately in love with, and how they loved and cared for me in return. I forgot my two friends and the laughs we shared, even with their arguments. I forgot the opportunity to help Kenley even if currently, she denied it.

I forgot how much joy my special interests brought me, how much I felt happiness when I did, my strong connection with animals and how happy it made me—how special in ways that the word special didn’t seem like an insult; I forgot about teacups, Mr. Stuffins, sleepovers, working at a place I enjoyed for the first time in my life, learning how to self accommodate myself when going out on my own and how proud each I became after each successful outing; TV shows, making the people I love laugh, good food, and video games.

Life went on, and even without my family, I could still smile. But at that moment, buried in the snow and feeling hopeless, I forgot how hopeful I had become.

Autism was a part of me, but it wasn’t me. I was Faeryn. And Faeryn was hurting and in pain and crying in the snow for her family that she couldn’t mourn properly in the throes of abuse. But she was in love, she was capable of laughing, crying, teasing, and feeling. She was a person just like everyone else; a woman.

With shaky legs, I stood and took a lump of snow with me.

When I was younger and failed at building in my grandfather’s workshop, he took me outside into the snow and instructed me to make three large balls of snow. I made a snowman and only realized it toward the end, and when I looked at him, surprised and elated, he smiled and said, “You can build, see? Even when you didn’t know what you were building, you were building, and that is something, Faeryn. That is something.”

With a clogged nose and throat, I pressed on and rolled my lump of snow until it formed a ball. On and on I went, and even with my constant tears, I built. I had forgotten how to properly mold the balls, it had been so long, but halfway through it, Yoongi helped me. Then Jimin. And Namjoon.

We built while I cried, but we built. And that was something.

When we were done, the snowman didn’t have a face. Or a scarf. Or a hat. But the outline was there. I knew what it would be even if it was unfinished.

The snowman and I were similar in that way.

Would therapy help me build myself up? Sculpt my healing journey until I too donned a face, scarf, and hat?

Exhausted, I hurried forward and threw my arms around the snowman, and I hugged it as if it were my grandfather. Then I found branches for its arms, and I held its spiky hand. With a tremulous breath, I looked at my three present men and up at the sky.

My words had long since left, and dreaming of days where exhaustion wasn’t as prominent, I stumbled forward to my men.

Yoongi caught me first, and I clung to him as the winter chill caught up to me. Carrying me inside as he’d done earlier, he took me to the hall bathroom. Namjoon and Jimin followed, but Yoongi put a hand up to keep them from advancing.

“Please wait,” was all he said, but they listened, and he closed the bathroom door on them. To me, he asked, “Is it all right if I help you bathe?”

I managed a nod, too tired to do much else, and he nimbly set to work removing my clothing. It stuck to my body, but he managed, and when he helped me into the warm bath, I shivered at the temperature change.

He was gentle, and with a small cup, he used it to lift bath water and pour it onto my head. It cascaded down my face and shoulders until it returned to its source, and I sunk further into it for comfort and warmth.

I didn’t speak, and neither did Yoongi. He simply helped me bathe, and I let him.

With gentle although calloused fingers, he washed my body, rearranging himself instead of me to clean thoroughly. And when he washed my hair, his massage was firm and precise, making me melt into his fingers.

When he did speak once he assisted me out of the bath and into a towel, it was quiet and rasped.

“I love you.”

My eyes refilled, and wet hair and all, I rested my forehead on his chest. Lifting my hand, I signed, “I love you.”

How lucky was I to be loved after such a spectacle.

How lucky was I to be bathed by the hands of someone who aimed to comfort and not to hurt.

How lucky was I to have the possibility of safety and a better outlook in the morning.

However lucky I was, I couldn’t fathom it, and I drooped in Yoongi’s arms as he carried me to his bed where Namjoon and Jimin were waiting. They stood to assist me with dressing, and although it wasn’t needed, it was kind, and their hands were warm.

I managed an apology once they dressed me, overwhelmed by their patience and kindness, but they refused it immediately, instead helping me into Yoongi’s bed and bundling me up in weighted blankets.

“Rest,” Namjoon said firmly, but kindness laced his cadence. “We’re right here.”

“Tired,” I rasped, still slightly distraught from the turmoil.

“I know, baby,” he attested, pained. “I know you are, but sleep will help. We’ll face this together in the morning when you’ve rested.”

“Hold hand,” I pushed out what was available of my speech, and he found my hand beneath the blankets.

Letting me cling to him, he kissed my forehead, murmuring, “Sleep.”

Sleep was hard to find, but within it, I found my family, and for a little while, I rested before Ryker appeared and dragged me into the routine nightmares.

Notes:

it's okay to not always be okay with what you're diagnosed with. We're all growing and learning to love and accommodate ourselves <33

Chapter 46: Once Safe, We Process

Summary:

Jin returns home, his anger clear and sharp toward Lyric and Cheverie but not as clear and as strong as his need to be with Faeryn.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

“Jin’s able to get to HYBE,” Taehyung conversed at the kitchen table. “He’s already let our managers know we can’t make it until our roads are paved.”

He looked at me for the fifth time since I entered the kitchen two minutes ago. “Are you hungry? I could make you something.” He showed a genuine yet concerned smile. “Anything.”

My hair was strewn about, sleep still clogged my eyes along with constant tears that wouldn’t dare to fall and mar the morning, and my shirt was falling over one of my shoulders.

I stared at him. “Tired.”

He nodded understandingly. “But do you want breakfast?”

“Tired.”

He hesitated before standing. “Tea?”

I glanced at Jimin, and he stood without prompting, telling Taehyung, “I’ll take care of it.”

Taehyung didn’t sit back down. “We have leftover Chinese food, Faeryn. Do you want some?”

I didn’t respond, and he slowly returned to his seat.

“Well, that’s okay,” he said with a reassuring smile. “We don’t have to eat breakfast today. But…guess what?” I didn’t guess, so he continued, “I finished another one of my Pokémon army; Mew! I think I did a good job. Do you want to see it later? I have a picture on my phone, but the real thing is in my room.”

I watched Jimin pour water into the tea kettle before resting my forehead against the table. After a sneeze racked my frame, I slumped forward and held my elbows beneath the table.

“Maybe later,” Taehyung decided.

Along with the ache of guilt and anger for not answering Taehyung, worry accumulated for Jin. He’d slept at a hotel, unable to get home because of the snow-ridden roads, and along with hoping he was okay, I worried he would be upset with how I acted last night.

I wanted to close my eyes until the pain of everything ended, unable to properly regulate to dim the horrible feelings churning within me.

The whistling tea kettle brought me back to reality, and I lifted my eyes blearily to watch Jimin pour hot water into my strawberry cup. Retrieving my usual straw, he slipped it into the cup as he stirred in the sugar.

The drink’s warmth filled my stomach, attempting to negate the harsh feelings, but it was futile. The bad feelings won, and I was just as exhausted as before.

Giving up on tea, I pushed the cup away and pushed my face into my forearms.

Jimin sat beside me, and his hand warmed my back in slow, reassuring movements. He didn’t say anything, but I wasn’t sure what he could say to make any inward chaos ease.

The snow kept us from going to HYBE, so as everyone streamed into the kitchen for an easy, unrushed breakfast, I continued hiding my face, unwilling to face them. Lyric and Cheverie joined, I could hear their subdued questions about where to sit and what was okay to eat, but I wouldn’t look at them. I was angry with them too, but not as angry as I was with myself.

Sad, angry, confused, guilty, frustrated—I wasn’t sure which emotion to hone in on if I even could, so I ended up struggling to push them all the way. They didn’t allow it and continued tormenting me, and I slumped in defeat at the kitchen table, desperately wishing for a reprieve.

Namjoon was next to pass by my chair, and his hand joined near where Jimin’s rested on my back. Bringing his face down to my face, his lips brushed my earlobe for a gentle kiss, and keeping his voice low, he murmured, “We’re here.”

I knew they were, and even though it brought me copious amounts of comfort, why wasn’t it enough? Why were they contributing to everything horrible I was feeling? Upset and confused, I remained silent.

Combing his fingers through my hair, he offered a slight ruffle before positioning himself at the back of my chair.

“We’ll dress after this,” he announced to everyone present. “Whenever the roads are paved, we’ll head over to HYBE.”

Agreement filled the room.

He gently squeezed my shoulder and returned his lips to my ear. “You can stay home today. Jin’s coming here as soon as the roads are paved.”

I tensed.

“You’re not in trouble.” He kissed my temples. “He wants to check on you. That’s all.”

Wondering how Jin reacted when he heard about last night and how he would react when he saw me today, I kept my face hidden as my thoughts ran wild.

“Baby,” he murmured. “Breathe.”

With my chest heaving and thoughts tormenting me, I ripped away from him, shoved my chair away from the table, and stood with wild eyes.

As my heart beat wildly, I spat out, “I am breathing!”

Everyone looked at me immediately, but I didn’t dare look at them. Didn’t dare take their shocked expressions to memory.

“I’m”—my hands shook with a vengeance—“breathing.”

“Barely,” Jungkook said in frantic accents.

“This has nothing to do with you,” I spoke through my teeth, burning alive with an anger building since birth. “Stay out of it.”

His lips parted repeatedly, and he sunk into his seat, rebuked and forlorn.

“Faeryn,” Namjoon spoke next, a hint of warning in his tone. “If you want to take a break from the kitchen, you can.”

“Don’t—” I pointed to him but stopped when my finger shook uncontrollably. “Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“I don’t know!” I burst, inwardly panicking as anger took the forefront. “I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m so sorry, I’m—I’m so sorry. Just so—I’m so”—I grasped my shirt frantically—“everything. Too much.”

“Then let’s take a break,” he suggested, trading his tone for a smoother cadence; one aimed to calm me. “You and me.”

“No,” I refused hotly. “I’m mad at you.”

“Okay, baby, I get that.” He exhaled deeply, schooling his chest to rise and fall steadily. “You’re mad at me. But is there anyone here that you’re not mad at? Someone who can take a break with you?”

My features scrounged up, and my voice broke. “No.”

“Then how about you and I take a break? You can be mad at me, but you can still let me hold you, can’t you? We don’t have to talk.”

The remembrance of his warm arms, strong and firm around me, made me nod.

“All right,” he concluded, unable to veil the relief painting his words and face. “Let’s take a break.”

As soon as he made it to me, he took my hand and led me to the closest, secluded room downstairs; the game room.

Sitting me on the couch, I refused to look at him, even when he sat beside me. But as soon as he patted his thigh, I hurried to claim the spot and buried my face in his neck. With labored breathing and trembling limbs, I breathed him in as he collected me in his arms.

We didn’t speak, and I was grateful. The boiling anger seemed to take every word as a threat, and as angry as I was, I was just as afraid. It was a horrible combination, and I was tired of it. As tired as I was angry and afraid; angry that I would always be this tired. Afraid that I would always be this tired. Tired of being this tired. Guilty that I didn’t know how to fix it. And it all roped its way back together, tugging at my heart, coursing through my body, and translating into furious anger.

With our chests flush, I tried to focus on breathing, but it was impossible to pinpoint one thing when so many others vied for my attention.

Guilt for hurting Cheverie, yelling at Lyric, snapping at Jungkook, failing to help Kenley—this indignant sense of justice berated me, swallowing me alive with claims of my inadequacy.

I didn’t take Ryker to court, I didn’t take the grocery store to court for abuse in the workplace; Kenley said I should have stood up for myself, that I failed, and she was right. I had done myself an injustice, and I couldn’t change it now.

Sobbing, I wet Namjoon’s shirt with my tears, shaking uncontrollably as my emotions ran high and wild. I couldn’t tame them, and they ran on, wrecking me.

He rubbed my back, attempting to soothe me with his firm hands and a lack of words, but I was inconsolable.

Nearing hyperventilation status, I choked on my tears, guilt, and fear, and Namjoon pulled me away from his chest to grant me air. Using the bottom of his shirt, he wiped the mess off my face, kissing my forehead repeatedly when my breath continued hitching.

Namjoon should’ve been angry with me; I yelled at our boyfriend, but Jungkook was his boyfriend first. If I continued being such a disaster, maybe Jungkook would return to being Namjoon’s alone. Maybe I would be cast out of their home, never again to see the seven men I wholly loved and adored.

My seven men had helped me so intensely to see abuse when I couldn’t because of delayed processing or insults going over my head, and without them, how would I do it? Would pattern recognition truly be enough?

And I was pushing them away.

Pushing myself up with my hands on Namjoon’s chest, I tried and failed to convey myself through incoherent stutters—nonsensical babbling—but he cupped the side of my face and listened although I knew he couldn’t understand, nodding along with each strained vowel I released.

I was sorry; I was so sorry, and giving up on words, I repeatedly rubbed my fist over my chest to sign, “Sorry.”

He shook his head, refuting my apologies in grave silence.

That’s what I wanted at first, silence, but it now aggravated me more than noise did. As quickly as I had apologized, my glare returned, and anger burst into flames within me.

I patted his chest over and over, reverting to signing my apologies against it instead of mine, but he remained ever quiet, caressing my hair and face.

Angered, I pushed his hands away, immediately regretting it, and I was back to signing, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

Was this the silent treatment? Was he truly so angry with me?

Distressed, short intervals of hums left me in an attempt to regulate, mixing with the sounds of my heavy breathing and sniffles.

He continued failing at calming me down, and as time passed, I grew increasingly frantic and distressed. He’d given me what I asked for, the need to be held without words, but I wasn’t sure what I needed or wanted at that moment. I was gutted with fear, anger, and every horrible feeling in between.

I jolted in place when I heard the front door to the house open, knowing we weren’t expecting anyone. Had Ryker found me? Had he come for revenge?

Clinging to Namjoon, I tried to disappear within him, hiding in his neck and hyperventilating, but as his arms tightened around me, the game room door opened.

I screamed, horrified, babbling my protests and kicking in Namjoon’s hold to run to safety.

The footsteps approached, loud and heavy, and I felt the chill from the winter weather spread through the room.

When Namjoon’s arms loosened around me, my screams intensified, and my need to run from him turned to me clinging to his shirt, loath to be taken away.

A pair of strong arms lifted me easily from Namjoon, and just as I thought this was the end to it all—the other shoe finally dropping—I was pivoted to view who held me.

Jin’s dark brows furrowed as he looked at me intently, his gaze sharp and unrelenting as he took in my labored breaths and frightened, overwhelmed cries. Taking whatever he needed from my features to properly assess in a swift manner, he blew lightly on my face.

Sputtering, I lost my breath for a moment, having no choice but to inhale copious amounts to replenish my lungs. Again, he exhaled against my features, and even when I tried to get away for air, he wouldn’t let me.

All I could focus on was getting enough air into my lungs, and my tears slowed for survival, my body working to get enough air.

Eventually, he gave me a moment to regather myself, watching as I panted, exhausted.

I wasn’t sure how he was here, the roads couldn’t have been cleared yet, but he was here, and he was helping me breathe again.

He came here for me, surely that meant he wasn’t going to leave, and if he wasn’t leaving, were the others staying, too?

My lips parted to spew more incoherent nonsense, but his stern voice entered the air, leaving no room for question.

“No.” His authority rang through, making my lips snap shut. “You will breathe. That is all, do you understand me, Faeryn?”

I managed a nod, trembling as the cold from his form seeped into mine.

Noting my shivering frame, he shifted me in his arms, pulling his jacket off and tossing it on the couch. Carrying me from the room, he took me to the living room, commanding in a loud, authoritative tone, “Everyone, upstairs. Do not come down here.”

Subdued agreements followed, and I heard everyone hurry upstairs as Jin sat in front of the fireplace, perching me firmly on his lap. Wrapping blankets around me, he shielded me from his body’s chill as the fire warmed us both.

I could see through the window as he pressed his arms around me to apply pressure to my chest, folding me closer to him. The roads hadn’t been cleared, and a shiver tore through me as the chill mixed with warmth.

He walked here.

I wanted to cry again, knowing this must mean he wouldn’t leave but wondering if the cold nipping at his form from his tiresome, chilly journey made him want to.

Overwhelmed, I squeezed my eyes shut to try and block my thoughts out, but nothing was working. The darkness only scared me, letting me see horrible memories about Ryker, and I opened my eyes quickly with an anguished cry.

Jin rocked me back and forth, keeping his arms firmly pinned across my chest as his thigh bounced lightly. The motions began to lull me, the process torturously slow, but a taste of relief was better than none.

Grappling with my intense emotions, I hung my head and cried while Jin’s movements worked to regulate me.

I cried until my eyes were swollen, my stomach and chest ached, and my body slumped with the intensity of it all.

Finally, my tears slowed to occasional sniffles, and it felt like a reward when Jin shifted me on his lap to face him. His stern front hadn’t wavered, and his pinched features were gravely lined.

I looked at him anxiously yet ravenously, my body enjoying and craving the motions of his light thigh bounce and steady hands on my waist to rock me.

“Breathe,” he instructed gravelly. “You look at me, and you breathe. Yes?”

I pushed out a nod with a stammered breath, fisting his sweater as he took over my failed regulation and steadily worked to approach my default.

His now warm hands from the fire caressed my waist as he held me firmly, his thigh was strong and sturdy as always, and I could feel his heart beat calmly in his chest. Sinking into him, my occasional breath hitch slowed, as did my sniffles.

I managed his name in broken accents, but his immediate, stern look made my future attempts of speaking stop.

“No talking,” he reinstated. “We’re breathing.”

We were, and we did, and eventually, I rested my head on his shoulder, exhausted.

His hand lifted to rub my back, the other still steadying my waist, and his low, rasped hum near my ears made my body buzz. I was mimicking him before my mind could catch up, the hum leaving me in brokenly until it turned steady, and it was the final step before my tears left me and my swollen eyes alone.

Warm and safe; I was warm and safe. Jin wasn’t mad; he would tell me if he was. He said no part of him wanted to leave me; he would tell me if he changed his mind. Jin communicated; he always did.

His past words and promises slowly re-entered my mind, negating the harsh lies my mind taunted me with earlier, and this reminded me of the similar promises of my other six beloved men. The reassuring was slow and careful as if the earlier taunts would drive them away, but the taunts were locked away, and Jin held the key as he held me.

I wanted to talk to him, wanted to communicate how apologetic I was to him and the others—especially apologetic to those in direct contact with my anger last night and this morning—and Jungkook’s hurt expression haunted me. I wanted to kiss it away with profuse apologies and promises to do better, promises I would keep.

I would then apologize to Taehyung for ignoring him, too afraid I would snap at him if I spoke and too tired to communicate that lest I should also snap, then to Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin for last night’s troubles. Again to Lyric and Cheverie, and all the rest who had to leave their breakfast to stay upstairs.

Lifting my face from Jin’s shoulder, I tucked my face in his neck, nuzzling against the warmth of my favorite crevice.

“No work today,” he rumbled, taking me out of my thoughts. “Not for any of us. We’ll remain home and relax.”

Lyric and Cheverie? I wondered to myself.

“Lyric and Cheverie will remain,” he continued in his dark, authoritative tone. “I have matters to discuss with them.”

I jolted, concerned.

“It doesn’t concern you,” he told my anxiety before I could greet it myself. “Everything is fine. All you need to focus on is being quiet and letting me hold you. Breathe, Faeryn. That is all. I will take care of everything else.”

With a shuddering, relieved breath, I wholly sagged against him, and he held me tighter.

“There,” he commended, his mouth brushing my ear. “I have you now.”

Kissing his neck languidly a few times, I closed my eyes and settled. In a haze, one that felt safe and warm, my thoughts turned to liquid just as my body did. I didn’t have to focus on self-regulation, worrying about difficult topics, upcoming apologies, or work. All I had to focus on was breathing; Jin would take care of everything else, and at that moment, relief flooded over me, and I almost choked with it.

Earlier, I wasn’t sure what I needed, but now, I knew. I needed to feel taken care of like every burden wasn’t mine to bear, and I wasn’t allowing the others to help. But Jin? His authority was like ice and fire mingling, his stern but protective gaze unable to be held yet unable to be discarded, and his firm tone leaving no room for discussion followed by his compressive hold on me helped me listen—helped me realize I needed help at that moment.

I knew I needed help, and I wanted help, but I wasn’t ready to accept it, under the impression that I had to do it alone. Help Kenley, help Lyric and Cheverie, help my trauma responses, wade through my Autism and everything it wreaked havoc upon, and be the best girlfriend I could be to my incredible seven men whilst juggling everything else. How could I be the best girlfriend I could be when I wasn’t sure I was the best Faeryn I could be?

Despite my unknown status of girlfriend/Faeryn, they seemingly loved me anyway. Wanted to care for me even when they weren’t quite sure how to, learning alongside me how to tend to my Autism and trauma, never angry with me—only patient—and I wasn’t sure how I was so lucky, only that my family up in the clouds must have had something to do with it. Perhaps they saw me struggling with Ryker and decided I needed a reprieve, working with the angels to provide me with seven angels of my own.

I felt warm and tired, so I let my eyes remain closed, knowing I could. Knowing when I awoke, my seven men would still be with me because they hadn’t said otherwise, and now that the trauma-based thinking had slowly subsided, I was aware enough to recognize that; they weren’t leaving. We promised each other forever, and when I woke up, I would communicate the best I could just like I had promised them.

And I would ask Yoongi questions about therapy for the sake of it.

Little by little, I would try. I hoped to.

So, I fell asleep with the hope of better things when I awoke.

꧁꧂

 

I woke up in Jin’s bed, tucked tightly into his blankets with Mr. Stuffins by my side, equally as tucked in.

Reaching for him instinctively, I brought his fur to my nose to inhale his comforting smell, looking around blearily with my face half hidden within him.

Jin was folding laundry as Camp Cretaceous played on his TV on low volume, his back to me as he focused on his work. Each shirt was perfectly folded, and he smoothed any creases away before relinquishing them to his drawer.

With the comfort of him being so near, his comforting room, blankets, Mr. Stuffins, and Camp Cretaceous, I remained tucked away, shifting my gaze from my favorite room decor, my favorite TV show, and Jin.

Mr. Stuffin’s head settled beneath my chin brought me a large sense of comfort, but I slowly eased him away when I caught sight of a thermos on the bedside table. It was mine, the one I bought on one of my outings with Lyric and kept here at their home, and I only used it for tea so no other taste would ruin it.

Quietly shifting forward, I retrieved it and carefully opened the cap. My favorite raspberry tea met my nose with the familiar aroma of a splash of lemon juice and sugar, and with a small sip from the built-in straw, I sighed softly and let the liquid warm me.

Rearranging Mr. Stuffins on my chest, I propped myself up slightly on the pillows to watch the show and drink my tea.

Whenever Jin noticed I was awake, I wasn’t sure, but when I turned, he had pivoted to keep me in his watchful gaze as he continued folding his laundry.

I blinked at him, surprised at the sudden attention, but I didn’t look away.

His thumb slid across a shirt’s crease, effectively smoothing it away, and when we remained quiet in the warmth of his room, I lifted my hand in a wave.

He dipped his chin in response, taking me and my current set-up in.

Too tired to speak or sign yet, I continued sipping my tea.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked, intently watching my expression for an answer.

I nodded.

“Good.” He nodded curtly. “Watch your show.”

I listened, and as I did earlier, I entered the same hazy headspace, floating in a nice way that kept my senses secure and regulated.

Things didn’t feel as dire as they did earlier, and grateful enough for the current reprieve, I tried to keep any upcoming events pushed away, hoping I wouldn’t delve into anxiety anytime soon.

I quietly mouthed along with the characters, not quite speaking but not quite not, and found the motions of using the straw soothing.

This was nice, I concurred. Watching TV as Jin folded laundry.

I wondered if life could always feel this nice, and if not, how could I get back on track when it wasn’t?

That was a question for when I wasn’t in my safety bubble, so I pushed it away and kept floating.

After two episodes had passed and Jin had long finished his laundry/tidying up, he approached his bed. I watched him, wondering if we were going to talk as he sat near my blanketed legs.

Instead of speaking, however, he simply rubbed my legs up and down, intensifying my haze. A quiet, content sound left me, and he hummed his low approval, tracking my nearly blissful expression.

“There you are,” he murmured.

There I was, safe at home in his bed.

I reached for him, and he complied immediately, letting me pull him under the blankets with me. I began to arrange myself between his thighs, but when he caught on to it, he lifted me easily and placed me in my desired position.

Grateful, I turned slightly and pecked his chest, leaning my head against it to look up at him. Kissing my forehead softly, he gently grasped my chin and angled it back to the TV, wordlessly instructing me to watch.

I listened, content to do so with him so near, and I drank a bottled water he recently set on the bedside table, now finished with my tea. It also contained a straw, and he earned another kiss for his thoughtfulness.

When the next episode’s credits rolled, I wondered what time it was. Where everyone was. If Lyric and Cheverie were here, and if so, were the others witnesses to their arguments, or had they been kind to each other?

My forehead creased with worried concern. My men would handle any argument easily, but Jungkook would be nervous, the sight and auditory experience of conflict causing him to try to hide away. I tried to reassure myself; he had Namjoon, but again, the memory of his face this morning after I unrightfully scolded him and the possible visual of him anxiously listening to an argument made me want to find and hold him, smothering him with affection.

“What are you thinking about?” Jin kissed beneath my earlobe, his voice low and quiet. “Your pulse has picked up.”

My voice entered the air, raspy from tears and lack of usage. “Jungkook.”

“He’s not angry with you.”

I knew that; of course I did. He was always quick to forgive, but that didn’t make me feel any better or take away from the fact that I hurt him.

Jin seemed to recognize this as he continued, “You will both talk, and you can communicate, but that is for later. Everyone is enjoying themselves in the game room.”

Relief tickled the back of my throat. “They are?”

“You didn’t negatively affect everyone like you think you did. They’re worried, yes, but so are you, and that will go away once communication occurs, yes?”

“Yes,” I agreed, finding his hand beneath the blanket and holding on tightly.

He offered a firm squeeze. “You will keep breathing, Faeryn.”

“Yes, Jin,” I confirmed, pushing further against him for comfort. “I’ll try.”

“I know you will,” he said softly. “You always do.”

My spirits slightly lifted at his belief in me, I turned and sat sideways on his lap. “Hold me?”

He was complying before my question left my lips, tugging the side of my body flush against his as his arms kept me securely to him. With slight rocking motions, he kissed my forehead occasionally, and I relaxed once more.

The game room was for games, not arguments. Jungkook was okay, and so was everyone else; they were having fun, and I hadn’t ruined their day. It was enough to settle my pulse, and Jin conveyed his approval with a kiss on my cheek, tenderly brushing his lips against mine.

Taking the initiative, I pressed our lips together for a quick, soft kiss, too tired to delve into one but wanting to feel his lips, and I sighed contently afterward.

“Sweet girl,” he said quietly, his arms tightening around me.

I looked at him in question, responding to the title.

His lips tugged into a small, soft smile—softer than usual—and I melted at the sight. “Who are you with, Faeryn?”

Confused, I responded, “You.”

“And who will you remain with?”

“You.”

“Me and who else? Who will stay with you?”

I sniffled as relief poured upon me. “You and the others.”

He nudged his nose against mine for consolation. “How long will we stay?”

“Forever,” I whispered.

“Why is that?”

“Because you promised.”

“Yes,” he confirmed, swiping his thumb against my cheek for a firm, gentle caress. “But that is not the only reason.”

I waited, unsure, and when he saw this, he concluded, “We will stay forever not only because we promised, but because we yearn for a forever with you as much as you yearn it with us. No matter what,” he murmured, “through it all, we’re here. We don’t want anyone else.”

When my tears fell, his lips nimbly collected them, soothing them to a stop soon after they arrived.

“Me too,” I whispered, floored. “Forever. I…I promised to communicate, and I really want to do better. During…it’s hard to communicate during a meltdown, but outside of those, I’ll get better. I will, Jin, really.”

“You already have improved your communication,” he voiced his approval, caressing my hair. “Don’t push yourself to communicate during a meltdown. You’ve already reached the tipping point, and during that, all you need to focus on is trying to regulate. If communicating doesn’t help you regulate at that moment, don’t focus on it.”

Adoration filled my senses and leaked through to my features. “Thank you.”

“What have I said, Faeryn?”

I kissed him to convey my thanks, blushing at the light command in his tone.

Keeping a light grasp on my chin to keep me to him, he prompted, “What else can I ease?”

“Ease?” I echoed.

“What’s been tormenting you, Faeryn? What thought process needs to be adjusted and talked out?”

My eyes lowered from his with shame, but with a gentle tap to my chin, they were back on his immediately.

“There’s no shame in needing help,” he said firmly. Compassionately. “We communicate. You know this. And if we’re scared to communicate, we communicate that, too.”

“Not scared,” I revealed. “Just…embarrassed for last night and this morning.”

“Talk it out with me.”

I fisted his shirt, needing the support. “My meltdown was an inconvenience. Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jimin stayed up much later than they would have taken care of me, it was the first time Yoongi’s seen me naked to bathe me—and it wasn’t the way I wanted the first time to be—I snapped at Jungkook, crossed Cheverie’s boundary, yelled at Lyric, and wouldn’t let Namjoon help me in the game room.”

My chin quivered. “There’s so much I did wrong, and the guilt is eating away at me.”

“You apologized for crossing Cheverie’s boundary, I’ve been told,” he answered seriously. “And we’ve discussed your future communication with Jungkook. Besides those two instances, you have nothing more to apologize for.”

“Why?” I asked brokenly. “I want to apologize for putting a rift in everyone’s schedule.”

“Schedules are set in stone, and they’re fine. They care about you and want you to be okay. Would you be upset if one of us needed you due to something we were going through?”

“No,” I said quickly. “Never.”

“We feel the same. Don’t apologize,” he made this point, “for needing us. Relationships have this dynamic; we all need one another to lean on.”

“And…Yoongi?” I asked, wincing. “If we ever had a first time, I wanted it to be special, but he saw me naked when I was crying. Will he…ever be able to see me naked without remembering that?”

“Yoongi isn’t…” He took a moment to gather his words, sifting them into the appropriate order. “Prone to these thought processes. He doesn’t necessarily see bodies as we do, and in the situation you were in last night, he—among the rest of us—would never sexualize your body when you’re in pain.”

“I know,” I confirmed quietly, slowly. “But…what do you mean he doesn’t see bodies like we do?”

He pursed his lips. “He will speak more of this when he’s ready, but he isn’t prone to attraction. When he does feel the attraction, I can promise you, Faeryn, he will not be thinking of your tears or the bathtub. He will only see you in that present moment.”

Furthering his point of view, he questioned, “Do you see Jungkook crying when you and him are intimate? Do you see any of us upset or angry when we’re intimate? Or is all you can see us?”

“You,” I whispered, relieved as his reasoning began to sink in. “Just you.”

“First times are not always perfect,” he told me. “But there is no need to worry yourself over firsts when there will be so many more times within forever.” His thumb traced my chin lightly. “Hm?”

“Yes,” I murmured. “You’re right.”

He remained silent, waiting for me to reveal what else I had been harboring.

Tremulously, I revealed, “I feel guilty that Namjoon couldn’t be the one to help me calm down. I’m wondering if he feels angry with himself.”

“He doesn’t.” He trailed his fingers to the back of my head, offering a gentle scratch before initiating a massage. “He’s angry with those who’ve hurt you, not with himself. Or you,” he added knowingly.

I turned red, whispering, “I…I was scared that he would leave, and I know I asked him not to talk, but when he didn’t, I thought he was giving me the silent treatment, and when you walked in, I didn’t see you and thought you were Ryker—that he was letting Ryker take me away—and I—” I buried my face in my hands. “My thoughts were so confusing.”

I sniffled. “It’s like everything we’ve talked about disappeared and all that was left were scary, hurtful ideas of what was going to happen.”

“You know Namjoon would never let Ryker take you from him or hurt you,” he spoke gravely. “And you know we would never let Ryker in such proximity to our home, do you not?”

“I know,” I said quietly. “But I didn’t know last night for a little while. I was just so scared.”

He sighed deeply. “I know you were. It’s all right now, and it was all right then even if it didn’t feel like it. We’re not leaving, Ryker isn’t arriving, and after communicating to whomever you communicate with later, everything will still be all right. Do you understand that?”

“I understand,” I confirmed, curling closer to him. “I was just scared.”

“I know,” he murmured into a kiss on my cheek. “Fear can muddle the truth.”

“It did,” I agreed glumly. “I…I wanted to say thank you for walking in the snow because I think you did, and I’ll kiss you to thank you, too, but I wanted to verbally tell you because it’s important to me that I do.

“You must have been cold, but you walked all that way, and I…I can’t explain how much that helped calm my scary thoughts because if you came all that way for me, you weren’t going to leave.”

“No, I wouldn’t, and no, I won’t.” He kissed my temple. “I would do it again. Whenever you need it although, for your sake, I hope this will not reoccur at this intensity.” His brows creased. “It must be tasking.”

“It is,” I said, deflating. “I still feel so tired.”

“Everything’s been building up.”

“Even when I tried communicating,” I stressed. “I thought communicating was supposed to stop meltdowns from being so bad.”

“You are communicating,” he attested. “But if you don’t understand or fully process what you’re communicating, it’s not as effective.”

I gaped at him. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve talked about how you blame yourself for not being able to help Kenley—and last night, I’ve been told you communicated with Jimin about many things, some of which you’ve communicated briefly with us, but you’re not processing them. You can’t let things go until you process them. Not fully.”

“How…how do I process them?”

“That is something you have to do on your own terms,” he said ever patiently. Ever kindly. “As much as I wish I could help. Your brain processes things differently, and it’s having a hard time processing recent trauma you’ve been through. It’s all coming back, every horrible feeling in the past two years because your mind believes you’re safe enough to feel it.”

I blinked. “I don’t want to feel it.”

“You have to feel it, Faeryn. It won’t leave until you do.”

I shook my head vigorously. “I communicated it, I did.”

“You have to let yourself feel it or communication will be in vain.”

“That’s not fair,” I spat out bitterly. “It’s not fair.”

“What you’ve been through isn’t fair,” he agreed somberly. “But not letting yourself process it isn’t fair either.”

I slumped, upset.

Momentarily, I asked through my quick-building despair, “Does Yoongi’s therapist help him process things?”

“Yes,” he mused. “That is why he began therapy; to find the root of his depression, process it, work through it, and find coping skills.”

I hung my head desolately. “Therapy seems like I’m giving up. Like I really can’t do it myself.”

“You don’t have to do it yourself; there’s no need to be alone during this process. Wanting and needing help isn’t a failure.”

“It feels like it,” I whispered.

“It isn’t,” he returned. “Therapy will help you see that if you allow it the chance. If you do, we will find the right therapist for you. Trial and error is key, and as you and Yoongi often say, there is an end to two weeks.”

I nodded a bit.

“We’ll help you through this,” he said, his features cementing the truth his words held.

I wiped my eyes as tears threatened to fall. “Why can’t I self-regulate like I used to? When I was with Ryker, I could, and he’s not here. Why am I…weaker now?”

“You are not weaker now,” he refuted. “Your body is struggling to process the trauma it went through now that it’s safe enough to. You couldn’t process with Ryker because the trauma was still occurring, so pushing it away is what kept you safe and moving—survival mode. But he’s not here anymore, Faeryn, so your body is leaving survival mode. It’s trying to heal, and it’s your decision whether you let it.”

I teared up. “I’m scared of feeling all of this.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” he murmured. “You can do it while afraid.” He clasped my hand firmly and kissed me in the same manner. “You’re not alone, and we will never allow you to be as alone as you once were again.”

I kissed him back, desperate for consolation, and with clasping my neck, he deepened the kiss, conveying his sincerity. It wasn’t too long, just long enough to stop my tears, and when he pulled away, he kissed the tip of my nose.

“You will be all right,” he promised me. “Everything passes.”

I sniffled. “Like Namjoon’s song says.”

He smiled slightly. “Yes. Like Namjoon’s songs says.”

I pushed my face into his shirt, my words coming out muffled. “I want to stay here for a while.”

He passed his hand down my back, offering light pats and rubs. “You can.”

I did, inhaling his comfort, strength, and warmth as he and I worked in stride to help me regulate.

Notes:

:') I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on Faeryn's bumpy healing journey <33

Chapter 47: Difficult Changes Today Are Necessary For A Better Tomorrow

Summary:

Faeryn talks through hardships with her men and friends, sharing a moment with Jungkook in the safety of Namjoon's room.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Everyone came to a halt when I entered the game room.

Much to my surprise, Lyric and Cheverie were seated beside each other, but my eyes strayed from them to land on my six men. Jin remained firmly at my side, his hand pressed deeply at my waist.

He waited until I felt comfortable taking a step forward, allowing me to gauge the situation and decide to walk further into the room. He left the door open, and the visual helped me relax slightly, knowing I could easily take a breather if needed.

Taehyung was the first to speak, dredging us out of silence. “Do you want to play with us?”

I decided that yes, I would like to play with them, and they welcomed me with open arms albeit quietly. I could tell they were gauging the situation just as I was gauging their expressions for signs of their feelings toward me, but our lack of communication left us stagnant.

Jin seated me between his thighs, and I pressed my back against his chest, holding onto one of his ankles for support.

Squinting, I tried to figure out what we were playing before Hoseok gently relayed, “We’re playing Cards Against Humanity.”

I swallowed, avoiding eye contact. “Oh.”

“She’s never played,” Lyric revealed, earning my attention for a split-second and allowing me to see her features fall when I looked away. “We talked about playing once, but we never got around to it.”

Because of how controlling Ryker had been.

I didn’t say that. Neither did she.

Everyone seemed to understand why though, and before silence could enrapture us again, Jimin announced, “Let’s add Jin and Faeryn in. Come on. Cards back in the pile.”

Everyone obliged, and the game restarted.

It started with light laughter that slowly turned more boisterous, and soon, even I was giggling at what each card read.

During Jungkook’s turn to read a card, his voice shook slightly, and with his fingers trembling around the card, he spoke what it said. He earned laughter and a friendly back pat from Taehyung, but his lips remained downturned.

Since I entered the room, I knew he was as anxious as I was to revolve what happened between us—I hoped he knew he had nothing to apologize for—and shoving my anxiety away to calm his, I tried to discreetly grab his attention. It took a few flicks of my fingers to earn his eyes tentatively finding mine, and he blinked, torturing his lip with nerves nibbles.

Feeling horrible, I signed, “I’m so sorry. Not mad. Want to talk?”

He noticeably relaxed, and he shuddered so intensely that it gained several of my men’s attention.

“You okay, bub?” Namjoon was the first to ask, although his question was quickly followed by everyone else’s concern.

Wide-eyed, Jungkook nodded.

From beside him, Namjoon slowly lifted a brow. “Yeah?” Jungkook nodded again. “Can you tell me verbally?”

Jungkook’s lips parted to speak, but he quickly snapped them shut, looking to me for guidance.

Taking the lead despite knowing it would earn everyone’s attention on me—something I wasn’t in the mindset for—I left Jin’s safety to stand.

Everyone’s eyes shot to mine, and holding back a wince in case Jungkook thought it was directed at him, I held out my hand. Scrambling to his feet, he bypassed the game and the others, high-tailing it for me. We were both eager to get the conversation over with, and I could tell it filled us with a sense of relief.

With his hand clasped in mine, I led him to the door, sending a plaintive look Jin’s way. He understood and informed everyone that we would be back shortly.

I took Jungkook to Namjoon’s room, knowing he would be most comfortable there—and that Namjoon wouldn’t mind, knowing he just wanted Jungkook to feel better.

Sitting him down, I remained standing and cupped his face in my hands, earning a sharp inhale from him.

“I’m so sorry,” I lamented quietly. “You didn’t deserve that, and I’m so, so sorry for snapping. Do you want to talk about it—maybe about how it made you feel? We can talk about it,” I encouraged.

He covered my hands with his, exhaling his relief. “I want to talk about it. I—I wanted to tell you that I was just worried about you and wanted you to breathe, not that I was trying to meddle in your business.

“We’re girlfriend and boyfriend,” he continued at full speed. “We care about each other, and I was caring for you, but I think you took it the wrong way, and I didn’t mean for that to happen, and I’m really sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I insisted. “I was the one who snapped; I know you were just trying to help, and I knew it then, but I was so angry that it made me forget to remember how much you care and what a sweetheart you are.”

His shoulders eased an ounce of tension. “A sweetheart?”

“Yes,” I concurred assiduously. “I was wrong, okay? Not you, so please don’t say sorry; I’m saying sorry.”

“I feel bad,” he said, strained. “I feel like I made it worse.”

“It was already worse.” I tried not to ruminate over how loud I was in the game room with Namjoon and if everyone heard. “None of it was your fault.”

“Are you sure?” he pressed worriedly. “I’m not very good at helping people when they’re upset, so I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, but I wanted you to breathe—needed you to breathe—and I was so scared—”

“Jungkook,” I stressed, throwing my arms around his neck. “Baby, no, no, you didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m so sorry.” I struggled to keep my tears away, hating how much I worried him. “I’m okay, I promise. Jin and I talked, and we…” My throat constricted, and I amended, “I decided I’m going to start therapy.”

He held me tightly. “You are?”

“Yes,” I concurred, frightened by the aspect but even more frightened to continue lashing out at Jungkook and others because I wasn’t able to process it. “I’m going to get help, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make me weak.”

“I know,” he breathed out, squeezing me tightly. “It makes you strong just like Yoongi hyung. You’re both doing what you can to stop hurting.”

I choked up. “Yeah.” I held the back of his head. “We’re trying.”

“And you’re trying so well,” he persisted. “Therapy can be scary; I did it for a while back when everything happened with my old management.”

Surprised, I leaned back. “You did?”

He blushed. “Yeah.”

I caressed his cheek. “Did it help?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m…still afraid of confrontation though, so…maybe I should go back for a little while.”

“You’re brave,” I decided firmly. “I love you so much.”

His eyes brightened, and my heart fluttered at the sight.

“I love you so much, too,” he nearly gasped, pulling me back to him. “I’m so happy we’re talking again.”

“I’m so sorry for scaring you like this,” I whispered. “I’ll try my very best to learn how to process things better to help with that.”

“That’s good,” he praised, pulling me to sit on his lap. “I’m so proud of you.” He nosed into my neck, relieved. “My ducky.”

“My Jungkook,” I murmured. “I’m sorry for taking so long to talk to you. I know you must have been so anxious.”

“It’s okay,” he refuted. “You needed time to regulate.”

“Thank you for giving me that time.” I kissed the top of his head, smoothing my fingers through his hair. “You’re so sweet to me, Jungkook. I never want to snap at you again; I didn’t even want to snap at you this morning, but it just…” I sighed tremulously. “Happened.”

“I know,” he consoled, keeping his face pressed to my neck. “But you apologized, and you’re taking steps to fix it. Joon said that’s a real apology; ones that aren’t empty but are backed up with resolutions.” I felt his cheeks heat. “My therapist said so, too.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a therapist,” I assured him. “I’m just nervous to get one, not embarrassed. A little ashamed,” I admitted. “But only because I feel like I can’t help myself, not because it’s bad to have one. You’re not bad for having one; you’re my best Jungkook.”

He sighed, the sound flooded with relief. “Thank you, Faeryn. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” I returned, touched. “So much.”

He held me close for a while, and I let him, enjoying his warmth and neck kisses.

“Are you having fun playing games with everyone?” I asked softly after a few minutes of blissful silence passed.

He nodded, his face now pushed against my shoulder. I could tell he was regulating, tuning back into himself now that our conversation had been resolved.

“Okay,” I murmured, rubbing his back. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

I would never hurt Jungkook’s feelings again or do the same to my six other men, and I would do anything to keep it that way. That’s how I knew my therapy journey was set in stone.

꧁꧂

When we returned to the game room, everyone was still playing Cards Against Humanity, but there was a slight pause as they recognized our return.

“Hey, baby,” Namjoon greeted, and by the way his eyes flickered between us, I knew he was addressing us both, making my heart fill. “Okay?”

Jungkook and I nodded, holding hands as we returned to his previous seat, sitting side-by-side.

Jin caught my eye, and when I nodded to show I was okay, he dipped his chin in return. Setting his card down, he read it, redirecting everyone’s attention back to it. It allowed Jungkook and I to settle back into the environment, and with a steady hold of each other, our giggles soon arrived.

From beside us, Namjoon’s shoulders relaxed, and his eyes turned soft as if viewing his favorite music waves on his computer. Our gazes caught, and when I saw nothing but love in his eyes, mine brimmed with tears.

“I love you,” he mouthed.

I sniffled quietly, mouthing in return, “I love you.”

Jungkook heard the sound and looked between us, confused, only slightly put at ease when Namjoon signed, “It’s okay.”

I signed my agreement, and although still confused, Jungkook kissed my head and wrapped his arm around me to comfort me. I curled up to him, pleased I could make him laugh with the next card I set down.

After ten minutes, Lyric shot up and held her hand out to me. “I’m doing what Fae did,” she announced when we all looked at her. “I want to talk to her.” She looked at Jin. “Please?”

He noted her request and looked at me for my decision.

Although hesitant, I untangled myself from Jungkook and stood. “Okay.”

I bypassed her hand, and although she looked hurt, she trailed out of the room behind me.

“You aren’t holding my hand,” she whispered urgently as I led her up the stairs.

“You didn’t hold my hand when you hurt my ears by yelling at Cheverie all day yesterday,” I responded.

She sighed. “I deserve that.”

I glanced at her, pushing my door open when we arrived. “We can talk.”

Sitting on the floor with me, she blurted, “I’m so sorry that my constant arguing with Cheverie was one of the factors that pushed you into the state you were in last night and this morning. I feel awful, and I hate myself, and I promise you that Cheverie and I will never hang out together with you around. We swear it.

“She’ll talk to you separately,” she rushed out. “But I’m just telling you now so maybe it makes you feel better.”

“I already decided that,” I reminded her. “It was my decision.”

“Right, but we’re just saying we respect it.”

I trained my eyes on the floor. “Okay.”

“Fae,” she entreated, pushing closer to me. “Please talk to me. I feel awful.”

“You confuse me, Lyric,” I blurted. “And sometimes, you’re really loud—which is probably not fair to say, and I’m so sorry for yelling at you last night—and things you say confuse me, and I have to work extra hard to understand what you’re saying, and I don’t know why you can’t be friends with the people you hang out with, and even though I love being your friend, I’m really tired, and hanging out with you and Cheverie while you yell has made it worse.”

She looked at me, shocked. “Holy shit, Fae.”

I froze. “Was that too much? I’m so sorry. I was trying to communicate because I thought that would help us get to the root of the issue, but I think that was too harsh, so I’m really sorry, and—”

“No.” She put her hand up to silence me. “It’s fine.”

I hesitated. “Lyric, I don’t know if you’re upset or not.”

“I am,” she admitted. “I’m actually pissed and kind of despise that you think I’m too loud—my entire hometown always tells me to be quiet, and I shouldn’t have to dim myself for other people—but you’re being honest, so there’s that.”

My heart dropped. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that you have to stop being loud—I love how funny you are and the jokes you tell, the ones I understand, but I’m Autistic, and I’m really sensitive to sounds. That’s what I meant, and I said that to make you understand that you yelling with Cheverie has made everything feel…so much louder. I can wear earplugs when it’s just you and me, I don’t mind, but you and Cheverie are so…loud.”

She sighed. “I know you’re Autistic, so I’m sorry that the volume I speak at hurts your ears. The Cheverie issue will be fixed because of your decision anyway.”

I cringed. “Lyric, you’re upset.”

“Yeah, but so are you. I can tell.” She gestured to my face. “You usually hide it. I can never tell what you’re thinking.”

I paused. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s been like that since we became friends, but last night and this morning? I’ve never seen this side of you. I mean shit, Fae. You yelled at your adorable boyfriend.”

My features twisted in pain. “I know. It’s all this anger inside of me, and I…I don’t know what to do with it, so it’s all pouring out of me.” I covered my face with my hands. “It’s so overwhelming.”

“Hey.” She squeezed my shoulder. “No one’s perfect. You made up with Jungkook, and you’re actually telling me how you feel instead of hiding it. That’s more than a lot of people will ever do.”

“Really?” I asked, desperate for a shred of hope as I lowered my hands from my face.

“Of course, Fae. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” She scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. “As you know, I’ve done my fair share of boundary-breaking and hurting people’s feelings. I should…I don’t know. Take a page from your book and actually set things right.” She shrugged, suddenly looking much too sad. “It’s why my harem broke up with me; I know it. I was a shitty partner.”

My lips tugged downward. “I’m so sorry, Lyric.”

“No, it’s…no.” She heaved out a sigh. “The consequences of my own actions. How else would I learn? And then this whole situation with you and Cheverie?” She dragged her palm over her face. “I have to make some changes.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“I mean…yeah.” For the first time ever, she looked embarrassed, shocking me. “I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, and…I took my harem for granted.” Seriously, she told me, “I don’t want to lose you too, Fae. You’re my best friend. I also can’t lose Cheverie’s part of the rent, so before she dumps our situationship status to live somewhere else, I need to figure shit out.”

A sorry look crossed her features. “Seeing you like that last night, knowing you felt horrible? That was horrible, and I just thought, wow. How many people have I made feel like this? I don’t know.” She shoved her leg out to the side. “I feel like an asshole.”

“I think everyone can be an asshole sometimes,” I tried to comfort her.

She smiled a bit. “You just cursed.”

I blinked. “Yeah.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you curse.” She laughed. “I feel like we’re finally opening up to each other. I mean, we’ve been friends for over a year now, but Ryker took up so much of that time—shitty excuse of a person, let alone a man—but now here we are, and I don’t know, Fae. Maybe this meltdown thing will do some good for you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, baffled. “What good will meltdowns do?”

“You seem different today,” she explained. “Like you’re not hiding anymore. Maybe the meltdown made you too tired to hide; maybe it’s giving you a chance to breathe and be…I don’t know, you; Faeryn.”

And suddenly, what she said clicked.

“Masking,” I whispered. “You’re talking about masking.”

She tilted her head. “Does this have something to do with The Joker?”

A surprised laugh escaped me, and she grinned.

“No,” I explained. “It’s something that a lot of high-functioning Autistics do. We basically…pretend to fit in because otherwise, most of us will be bullied. And when you mask for so long, you forget who you are, and if you’ve been doing it since you were a child, then…” I blew air through your lips. “It’s like you never knew who you are, and it’s so hard to find yourself.”

“Shit,” she said, wide-eyed. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, you’re not Autistic,” I said with a lop-sided smile. “I guess you wouldn’t.”

She scowled, but not at me. At herself. “I should know more. I was so upset that I didn’t know how to help last night.”

“That’s not your fault,” I refuted. “You don’t have to help.”

“But we’re friends,” she insisted. “Friends help, and I want to be able to help if that ever happened during one of our outings.” She grabbed my hands earnestly. “I want to be a good friend, Fae. I’m pretty shit at it, but you mean a lot to me, and I hated seeing you so upset last night and today. I don’t want to lose the only person in my life who cares about me.”

My lips parted. “Lyric, don’t say that.”

“It’s true, Fae. My parents gave up on me a long time ago, too involved in their own issues to deal with mine, and my harem just dumped me. Oh yeah! And Cheverie hates me.”

“You hate her,” I reminded her.

“Ugh, fuck, but hating her is so exhausting.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured. “If you try to come up with a solution, you’ll find it. You’re always good at finding solutions at work, so just look at this situation like that. Maybe it will help, right?”

She sighed. “Maybe.”

“And,” I added with furrowed brows, “you won’t lose me as long as we communicate and solve any issues like we’re doing now, right? Jin says communication is key, and friendships are a type of relationship. It has to be the same in that way, at least.”

“You’re right,” she agreed. “We’ll communicate. And for your sake, I will try to be better at not screaming every time I talk. Just a meager shout will suffice.”

I cracked a smile. “Thanks, but don’t feel like you have to dim yourself. I’ve gotten used to it a little.”

“Then I can get used to being quieter a little,” she returned. “Right? I don’t want you to be overstimulated every time we hang out.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “That…it really means a lot to me.”

“It means a lot to me that you told me,” she said honestly. “I had no idea. I mean, I thought the earplugs helped drown me out a little, honestly.”

“A little,” I confirmed, and hoping to lighten the atmosphere, I teased, “Not all the way.”

She grinned. “Yeah, I’m a loudmouth.”

“The best loudmouth, and my best friend.”

Her shoulders sagged, relieved. “Thanks, Fae. Communicating is truly so shitty for me. My parents fucked me up in that aspect; they taught me fighting was the only option, and I should know better than that at my age, but…I guess not.”

“We’re all learning. It’ll be okay.”

She sized me up. “You know what? Jin really seemed to help you feel better today, and I love that for you. He seems like a great guy.”

I blinked. “Yeah, he…yeah. I thought you didn’t like him?”

“Well, he’s overly authoritative and I hate authority figures, but I love how he loves you, so…meh. Maybe I don’t hate him all that much.”

My smile peaked through. “Really?”

“Ugh, yes, but don’t rub it in.” She winked. “He actually talked to Cheverie and me. Gave us a little…scolding.”

My mouth dropped. “He what?”

“Not like we were children in trouble or anything—it kind of felt like that though, holy shit—but he just talked to us and went through his house rules—well, it’s your house, too, so your house rules—and said he expected them to be abode by whenever, and if ever, we came back. He said that was up to you.”

She shrugged. “He also lowkey threatened us that if we ever pushed you into that state again, he would strongly advise you not to be friends with us.”

I gaped at her. “What?”

“Yup! He has the hots for you, ma’am. He was all stern like and crossed his arms like this”—she mimicked him—“and looked like he would totally spite everyone who was out to get you. Not gonna lie, I might need that quality in my next relationship.”

“Lyric,” I squeaked.

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t know he scolded you!”

“Meh. I can take a scolding.” She leaned back, propping herself up with her palms. “Also, this may sound strange, but I think it bonded Cheverie and me a little. During it, we made eye contact, and I swear it took everything in us not to laugh. I mean, it was like getting scolded by one of those hot teachers in high school—oh my god, not to sound like I’m drooling over your boyfriend—but that’s what it felt like!”

I clamped my hand over my mouth.

“Sorry!” she squealed, facepalming. “I’m just telling the truth! I would never make a move on him, and he doesn’t have eyes on anyone else but you. Besides,” she mumbled. “I think I’m done with men for a while.”

Whiplashed, all I could manage was, “Really?”

“My two harem men have left me remorseful and saddened, and I am now a full-fledged lesbian.”

“Is that…how it works?”

“Absolutely not, but my sexual orientation, my choice.”

“Okay,” I conceded. “Cheverie’s into girls.”

“Um, yeah. I’m not into Cheverie.”

“I was just saying.”

She huffed. “Fae, let’s talk about something other than Cheverie while discussing my love life, lackluster as it is.”

“You’ll find someone,” I said, determined. “I know it.”

She laughed a bit. “Thanks for the confidence.”

I patted her hand. “I can be your wingwoman.”

She grinned. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

I started to smile with her. “Are we done being in a fight now?”

“Fuck yeah we’re done being in a fight. Hug it out?”

“Hug it out,” I confirmed, beaming when she yanked me into her arms.

“Ugh!” she groaned. “I’m so sorry!”

“Me too,” I responded, squeezing her back just as tightly. “I don’t like fighting with you.”

“Me neither! Let’s try and communicate before we get into fights because phew, my feeble heart can’t take this. Hard to believe with all the confrontation and arguments I start, huh?”

“A little.”

She laughed. “Yeah.”

I giggled. “I feel better talking about this. I was nervous.”

“Yeah, me too, but we’re good now. No more worries!” She stood, helping me up. “Now you’ll have to hear Cheverie talk to you and badmouth me during it.”

“She won’t do that,” I protested.

“I was just teasing.” She side-hugged me. “She and I bonded a little, remember? I’m sure she’ll only badmouth me once.” Before I could respond, she added, “Teasing!”

I poked her side. “Be nice.”

“It’ll be a process, but I’m willing to try!” She squeezed me. “Let’s go; I’m sure they’re all having fun without us.”

Lyric was right; Cheverie wanted to speak with me as soon as we returned. The talk went similarly to how it went with Lyric, although we didn’t speak about voice volume, past harems, or family trauma.

She just said, “I already apologized, but I feel the need to apologize again because Jin talked with us, and I hated seeing you so upset.”

We talked a little more, I informed her more about meltdowns per her request, and she said she would try to accommodate me if it ever happened again—but she hoped it wouldn’t for my sake. I knew it would—it was inevitable with how I experienced my diagnosis—but for her sake, I just nodded.

We hugged, and that was nice, so I felt lighter once the conversation ended just a bit. I knew I still had to talk to the others, and social exhaustion was creeping in. Jin noticed when Cheverie and I returned, and he pulled me between his legs before I could sit with anyone else. I didn’t fight it, instead going slack and pushing my face into his strong, muscular forearm.

Shifting me upward, he laced his arm around my waist and nudged his thigh between my legs, using our positioning to allow me to face him and hide in his neck. Shuddering with relief, I closed my eyes and practiced deep breaths as he rubbed reassurance into my back.

“Is she all right?” Cheverie asked, still sounding relatively close to us.

“She is fine,” Jin responded curtly. “Continue the game.”

Much to my surprise, Cheverie listened, and the game continued, although quieter than before.

As much as I wanted to speak with the others and fix things, my eyelids were heavy and drooped, making it impossible to stay awake. The hard conversations I had today and the lack of regular masking drained me, and minutes later, I fell asleep in Jin’s arms.

꧁꧂

“Shh,” someone murmured, familiar and quiet. “Go back to sleep.”

With a light whine, I turned to my side, sighing when warmth greeted me.

“Hey, baby,” he murmured. “Shh, shh. Close your eyes. You can keep sleeping.”

Whining again, I shimmied closer, blinking slowly as I woke up.

“Aw, honey, I’m sorry for waking you up.” Jimin tugged me to his chest, pulling the blankets more comfortably around me. “I wanted to hold you.”

More than okay with this, I snuggled up to him in response.

“Oh, there you are,” he murmured, kissing my cheek. “My sweet girl.” Caressing my hair in slow, lulling movements, he kept his tone quiet for my sake. “You can go back to sleep. Everything’s okay.”

Everything did feel okay wrapped nice and safely in the blankets and his arms, but he was also here, and now that I was half-awake, the nagging feeling to talk to him returned.

“Jimin,” I croaked tiredly.

“Go back to sleep,” he said, sounding like he was mentally chastising himself for waking me up. “You were having a nice nap, honey, hm? Don’t you want to keep having your nice nap?”

His soothing, sultry tone of voice made me mewl with appreciation, hooking my leg with his for additional warmth.

“There,” he praised. “Get nice and comfy, and go back to sleep.”

“No,” I protested sleepily. “I have to talk to you about yesterday and…” I yawned. “Today.”

He sighed quietly. “It can wait until you’ve slept some more. You were exhausted.”

I pouted up at him, and he visibly softened, kissing my lips fondly.

“Sleep,” he coaxed, squeezing my waist reassuringly. “There’s always time to talk when you wake up.”

“But I’m awake right now,” I insisted drowsily.

He chuckled. “Not quite.”

“Please,” I entreated. “Talk to me.”

“Honey, I am, but you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“Want to…keep them open,” I managed through another yawn. “And I want to talk to you.”

The nagging feeling to apologize hit me, and I began to, but his and Jin’s previous words halted me abruptly. Jimin said not to ruminate on our conversation anymore, that we had already apologized and resolved it, and Jin said there was nothing else for me to apologize for.

Then why did I still feel like apologizing?”

Unsure, I remained quiet, and Jimin murmured his praise as his touch soothed me closer to sleep.

Taking a leap of trust, I put it with them and curled into Jimin’s chest. They never lied, so if they said it was resolved, it was resolved. No more apologies were needed, and they never lied.

We were okay.

I nuzzled against him. “Jimin?”

“Yes, honey, I’m right here.”

And this time, instead of an apology, I said, “I love you.”

He kissed my head. “I love you.” With light pats on my lower back, the motions urged me to give in to sleep. “Close your eyes, Faeryn. Sleep.”

And I did.

Notes:

this was a bit of a shorter chapter, but short and sweet! I hope you liked it 🤗

Chapter 48: Safety (and Christmas) is Warm

Summary:

Yoongi has a long talk with Faeryn about his sexuality, and everyone plans for a Christmas vacation to let Faeryn meet their family the day after Christmas, keeping their first Christmas together special and to themselves.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Healing from things that weren’t my fault pissed me off.

Abusers should suffer, not me. Death’s sting should suffer, not me.

I wasn’t enjoying therapy. I was thoroughly despising it.

Rehashing the worst things that happened to me weekly was not how I wanted to live the rest of my life, and after every session, I had a panic attack. I tried to keep the effects to myself, but when Yoongi picked me up after a session one day and I broke down, he took me to a secluded parking lot and let me cry until I was ready to talk.

I opened up to him, telling him about things Ryker did that I discussed with my therapist and how angry I was that not only did it happen, I was now expected to talk about it, going through it all over again.

He listened intently, his brows furrowed with understanding for me—and with contempt for Ryker.

When I finished, out of breath with tears streaking my cheeks, I blurted, “And I hate that you saw me naked while I was crying.”

He blinked. “I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable by bathing you. That was not my intention, Faeryn, and I am so sorry.”

“No, no, you didn’t,” I refuted, sniffling as I waved my hands in denial. “But I talked about this with my therapist, and she said to communicate with you, and since we’re talking, I’m telling you.”

I started to cry again. “I’m such a mess.”

He leaned across the center console, his seatbelt straining as he cupped my cheek. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “To be a mess, to be upset, to be in this journey. That is what we are here for, Faeryn. We’re here to just be; to live.”

“Living has been so hard,” I choked out, nuzzling into his hand.

“I know,” he murmured. “And therapy brings up difficult memories, making it feel like you’re reliving trauma once more.”

I hesitated before nodding quickly. “Yes, and it feels horrible!”

“I know,” he confirmed gravely, caressing my cheek firmly. “It happens to me, too, and it is very hard, but it has gotten easier with time. The more it is talked about, the less power it holds over you.”

“Really?” I whispered brokenly.

He kissed my cheek softly. “Yes.”

I wiped my eyes sorrily. “It was random to bring up the bath.”

“Not if it’s upsetting you. I…” He cleared his throat. “I would like to know why you hated me seeing you naked while you were crying. I am not understanding why it is a bad thing. You were bathing, so it is normal to be naked, and you were crying while you were upset, which is a common thing to do. Did I do anything wrong during the bathing process? I will not do it again.”

“No, Yoongi, no,” I rushed to reassure him while my tears fell continuously. “I just…I wanted the first time you saw me naked—if you ever did—to be under better circumstances, and Jin said it’s fine and that you don’t care, but I care. I wanted it to be special.”

His brows knit together. “It was special.”

I sniffled. “What?”

“During the bath, I was able to take care of you. You stopped crying and shaking, and you fell asleep right after. I was able to help you during something quite frightening for you, so it was special for me that I could do that for you.” His voice quieted. “You signed your love for me as well, and no matter how you relay those three words, the moment is always special.”

My tears quickened. “You’re…Yoongi, you’re so—“ I wiped my eyes vigorously. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he refuted with slightly wide eyes. “I am grateful you’re speaking to me about this. I never wish for you to harbor untrue thoughts over a situation between us or otherwise.”

I threw my arms around his neck. “I love you so much.”

He held me like someone would take me from him. “I love you so much, Faeryn.” He rubbed my back in slow circles. “When…when I am ready for more in a sexual matter, it will still be special; everything with you is.”

I slackened with relief, and he noticed, rubbing my back slightly faster.

“You were harboring this thought process,” he noted worriedly. “Faeryn, thank you for talking with me about this. I don’t want you to stress.”

“Thank you for talking with me,” I cried. “And I—I know I’m a mess right now, and my emotions are all over the place, but thank you for being so patient and kind and loving—you and the others are so, so amazing and I love you all so much.”

I leaned back to look at him, adding with earnest determination, “If you or the others ever need me, I’ll help you like you’ve helped me. I always will. I love you all so much.”

He brought me back into his arms. “We are all a good team.”

I smiled tearfully against his shoulder, and the rehashed trauma didn’t feel as scary. In that moment, I knew why my mind had waited so long to process trauma. It would’ve been terrifying to go through this alone, and with a shudder, I clung to him, too grateful to fathom—especially since I knew I hadn’t always been so lucky as to have a support system.

In my room at home a few days later—I hadn’t slept at my apartment since my last meltdown, only going to collect clothes, toilet trees, and crochet items—I crocheted fervently as a last attempt to drown out my rampant thoughts revolving what my therapist and I spoke about during our last session. Yoongi speaking to me in the car soothed the sting of remembrance, and I held onto that as all else seemed to fail.

“Faeryn?”

Jostled out of my thoughts, I glanced at my door. It was slightly ajar to convey my willingness for company—my seven men were well aware—and I set my crochet project down.

Shuffles sounded from behind the door before stilling when I called, “You can come in.”

Yoongi, with fluffy hair from recently being towel-dried, peeked his head into my room. His features released tension once he saw me, and his shoulders slumped.

“Faeryn,” he repeated, his tone soaked with relief. “May I come in?”

I patted my bed with a quick nod. “Of course.”

He walked in, stepping aside as he ensured the door remained open a crack.

“You can close it,” I offered. “It’s okay.”

He closed it, smiling a bit as he walked to me. He didn’t say anything until he reached me, sat on my bed, and pushed his face into my chest. Surprised by the sudden affection, my arms froze in the air, but when I felt his body tense, I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

“Hey,” I murmured, coursing my fingers through his hair. “Hey, pretty boy.”

The term of endearment left me before I could think against it, but he relaxed further against me, exhaling deeply as tension bled out of his body.

Rubbing his back, I continued caressing his hair until his breath found a steady temperament.

He spoke my name quietly.

I nodded to show I was listening.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he revealed, keeping his voice down.

“Okay,” I agreed, letting my voice match his. “We can talk about anything you want.”

“But first, I…needed you.” His voice dipped. “It’s been so long since I’ve been held just to be held and not to be touched, and you…you hold me just to hold me.”

My brows tugged together, and I held him to him tighter than before. “I’ll hold you whenever you want me to, and there doesn’t have to be touching. Okay, Yoongi? Whatever you want; holding just to hold.”

“Thank you.” His shuddered breath heated my neck. “I was anxious to speak to you about something, but when you were on my lap after we confessed our love for each other, I felt such heavy calmness. I wanted to feel it again.”

I kissed his head softly multiple times. “I will, Yoongi. I’ll hold you, and you can talk to me about anything.”

“Thank you,” he returned fervently. “Faeryn, may I…” I felt his throat bob against my chest. “May I put my arms around your waist?”

“You can,” I assured. “I love when you hold me.”

“We can hold each other,” he said tentatively, and when I agreed, he shifted his arms around me and nestled closer. “Thank you. I…I will take a moment before talking to you if that is all right.” He sounded unsure. “I hope I did not interrupt your schedule.”

“You’re much more important than a schedule.” I rubbed his back reassuringly. “You can take your time. Lots of it if you need, okay? I’m happy holding you like this.” I nudged my chin against the top of his head. “My Yoongi.”

His eyelashes fluttered against my clavicle. “I love you dearly, Faeryn.”

My heart swelled. “Me too. I love you dearly, too.” I squeezed him. “Yoongi.”

“Yes?” He sounded distant; being close to me had a positive, calming effect.

“I love you.”

“I love you,” he whispered, melting against me.

A few, peaceful minutes passed of us holding each other, and when he decided enough of his anxiety had passed with every tender touch of my hands, he said, “I am ready to talk to you now if you are.”

“Of course,” I murmured. “I’m ready.”

“I will continue staying in this position if you don’t mind,” he told me tentatively.

I squeezed him tightly. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

He kissed near my throat, breathing deeply. “Neither do I, Faeryn.”

I kissed his head to return the favor, sighing contently from the smell of his eucalyptus shampoo. “I’m listening.”

“Thank you. Yes. I…I wanted to talk to you because you talked to me after your last therapy session. Opened up to me,” he explained. “In the car, and…we spoke of the bath.”

I turned red. “Yes,” I whispered.

He lifted his face enough to catch my wince. “Faeryn, please don’t be embarrassed. It was special to me; it always will be.”

“It’s just a little embarrassing to think about,” I revealed as his fingertips brushed along my burning cheeks.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “Please know that I did not find it embarrassing in the slightest. Should we no longer speak of this? We do not need to talk.”

“No, it’s okay.” I shook my head quickly. “You were leading up to something, so it’s okay. You can tell me, but I…I don’t really want to think about that meltdown anymore. I know I have to during therapy so I can process it, but…outside of it—at least for right now—I don’t want to talk about it.”

“So I will not,” he confirmed firmly. “I promise.”

“You can talk about it right now,” I informed him. “Since we already are, and I…think you’re trying to make a point with it?” He nodded. “Okay, then that’s okay. You can talk about it, but after this, no more, please. For right now.”

“I understand,” he agreed. “I will speak of it quickly.”

“It’s okay—”

“Quickly,” he reiterated strongly, and lifting himself, he sat before me instead of wrapped in my arms.

My features fell. “Why are you—”

Without another word, he sat beside me against the headboard, pulled me onto his lap, and wrapped his arms around me. Clasping the back of my neck gently, he carefully positioned my face in his neck, and I promptly relaxed, humming my comfort as my favorite spot was obtained.

“We will speak like this now,” he said quietly but firmly, his hold secure and protective. “I will hold you.”

I nuzzled my face around comfortably, shivering when I felt his arms increase their hold on me. “Yoongi, you…you seem a lot stronger.”

“Ah. Yes. I have been working out.” He rubbed my lower back and offered a few light pats, alternating the movements. “The endorphins help boost my mood.”

“Oh,” I whispered in awe. “You…wow.”

His hand paused. “Do you not like it?”

“I like you no matter your body form,” I said quickly. “I just—I wasn’t expecting it so suddenly. That was really fast.”

“It helps,” he repeated, slightly bashful. “I do it often.”

“It’s nice.” My blush deepened. “You…you feel nice.”

“Ah.” Flustered, his hand stammered against my back before resuming its rubbing and patting. “Thank you.”

I laced my arms around his neck and held on. “Okay, I’m back to listening.”

I heard his smile. “All right. I will go back to speaking.”

“Okay,” I chirped, feeling much more relaxed in his hold.

“I wanted to tell you more about why I am the way that I am.” He breathed deeply in an attempt to ground himself. “Why I am not ready for anything sexual.”

I rubbed my face around his neck. “You don’t have to. You said you didn’t want to, so we don’t have to. That’s all.”

“Yes, but I still would like to open up to you.”

I nodded amicably. “You can. I’m listening if you want to, but if you get uncomfortable, you can stop.”

“Thank you.” He nodded along with me. “I know you’re aware I’m unlike the others when it comes to sexuality.”

I pursed my lips. “Yes, because the others and I do sexual things and you and I don’t—which is perfectly fine.”

“Thank you for your constant reminders,” he murmured. “You are very kind to me.”

My brows tugged together, and I leaned back to cup his face. “You deserve every bit of kindness this world has to give.” I kissed his nose. “Every bit.”

His smile was small and grateful. “Thank you,” he whispered.

I caressed his cheek. “What were you going to say?”

“Ah. Yes.” He readied himself. “I am not like the others. I have…a different sexual orientation.”

“Oh. Okay!” I waited patiently. “What is it?”

“Ah. Well. You see.” He trailed off. “It is a lot to tell someone without fearing they’ll leave, and even though I know you won’t logically, I am…still afraid.”

A pang shot through my heart. “Do you want to hold my hand while you tell me?”

“Yes,” he said quickly and sought my hand.

I lent him my hand. “Squeeze when you’re afraid; I’ll squeeze right back to let you know that you don’t have to be.”

He regarded me with adoration, and the sight floored me. “I will.”

Keeping my hand in his, he continued, “I have a different sexual orientation than the others. My sexual orientation makes it so I’m not sexually attracted to a person until I’ve formed a bond with them. This…basically means I do not have any sexual thoughts or feelings toward someone until I know them very well and develop feelings for them.”

I tried to understand. “Do you mean that…we don’t have a bond strong enough yet?”

“No, Faeryn,” he refuted immediately. “I am just explaining the sexual orientation. But I…I do have feelings for you, that is why we’re dating.”

“Oh.” Relieved, a small smile peaked through. “Okay.”

“I am sorry for confusing you. I didn’t mean to make you worry about our relationship.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” I soothed. “That’s what communication is all about, keeping us from misunderstandings and miscommunication.”

“Yes. You are right.” He smiled with me.

“Can I ask what sexual orientation this is?”

“Yes.”

“What sexual orientation is it?”

He squeezed my waist. “Demisexual.”

“Ohhh.” I nodded. “So you don’t even feel any attraction toward somebody until you know them well enough and develop feelings for them?”

“Yes, that’s right,” he confirmed, pleased with my understanding.

I kissed his chin. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Yes, and…there is more.”

“More?” I wondered.

“Yes, because I…I do experience sexual attraction to you.” His cheeks burned hotly. “I have for a few months now.”

“Oh.” My eyes grew wide. “But we haven’t—”

“Had sexual intercourse.” He winced. “I know.”

I gave him a moment. “Are you scared to have sex?” I murmured, trying to keep my tone as soft as possible around such a heavy question.

He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed right back. “Yes,” he admitted, and I didn’t like the embarrassment in his tone.

“Hey,” I said lightly, setting my forehead on his to create the eye contact I knew he might need for stability. “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay.”

He nodded, causing our foreheads to shift together, rubbing lightly. “It is still embarrassing.”

“I don’t think it’s weird, and I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all. A lot of people have reasons to be scared of sex, and I’m really sorry that you have a reason, too.”

His throat bobbed.

I pushed his hair away from his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I never really have spoken of it before, only recently in therapy.” His eyes flickered away from mine, but with a tap to his chin, his eyes were back on mine with prompt obedience. “My therapist said it would be a good process to communicate with you, my current partner. My…my only partner I wish to have for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever,” I said quietly. “Forever, Yoongi. You have me forever, and I have you forever. So don’t be afraid; it’s you and me, and you can tell me anything. I’m not going anywhere.”

He exhaled. “I will tell you quickly. It is like ripping off the band-aid.”

“Whatever makes it easier,” I consoled.

His hold on my hand became restrictive, but I held back as tightly as I could. “My previous girlfriend.” He purged the words hurriedly. Bitterly. “She disrespected my wishes to not have sex. I…I didn’t have a sexual attraction to her yet, the bond wasn’t there yet—and I wasn’t sure why, but after she kept pushing me to have sex, I realized that was the reason. I did not feel safe with her.”

My stomach churned. “Did she force you to have sex?”

His ears burned. “She pressured me until my no turned into yes.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. “Yoongi,” I whispered.

“But I changed my mind,” he told me quickly, my worry heightening his. “Before we did anything. Nothing happened—I changed my mind, put my clothes back on, and left her apartment.”

Relief mingled with my anger. “That was horrible of her to do to you, and I’m so sorry you went through that. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know,” he confirmed, subdued. “But I believed that was all I would get. No one truly wanted to wait until I formed a bond with them—until I felt safe enough to feel that attraction, and the girlfriend I spoke of just now only made my fear of it worse, so even though I feel sexually attracted to you now, Faeryn, I…I am still afraid.”

“It’s because she traumatized you,” I said, nearly shaking with anger. “You weren’t sure I would wait for you, so you put off asking me to be your girlfriend, and now that you’re sexually attracted to me, you’re scared of sex because of her. She is so”—I gritted my teeth—“evil.”

“Are you upset with me?” he asked momentarily. “That I waited to tell you this?”

“Of course not,” I refuted strongly. “I’m upset with her. You can communicate with me whenever you’re ready, and I know I told you already, but we don’t have to have sex ever—even after this conversation, even if you are sexually attracted to me, and even if you find yourself brave enough to try sex again. No matter what, if you’re not fully ready for sex, we won’t have it. That’s it, end of story, I love you more than sex, and I always will.”

He was very quiet. For far too long.

“Hey,” I murmured, watching as his eyes glazed over. “Hey, pretty boy. Where did you go?”

He shook his head, barely a movement.

“Yoongi,” I said softly, squeezing his now limp hand.

He shook his head again with more force, but the movement was just as minuscule.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him quietly. “I’m here. Take your time. I’ve got you.”

A quiet sound left him, a mixture of a groan and a whimper.

“Hey.” I squeezed his hand tightly. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Whatever you’re feeling, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere; I won’t leave you.”

He kept shaking his head. He couldn’t stop.

My anger toward his girlfriend only grew, but I pushed it aside for him, worried by his current state, and focused on making him come back to me.

I made the choice to relinquish his hand to cup his face, pushing my thumbs to caress his cheeks, and I held eye contact for as long as it would take for him to return.

“It’s okay,” I said firmly. Gently. “You’re okay. I love you, and you’re right here with me.”

He shuddered, jolted slightly, and his glazed eyes turned watery. My heart stopped when tears appeared, and when they fell, my heart broke.

A strangled sob left him, one he tried to hold in, and when his tears streamed down his cheeks as if they were afraid they would never see the light again, I tugged him to me and hugged him fiercely, speaking comfort into his ear throughout it all.

I blinked. “You don’t…cry?”

Yoongi’s thumb traced the outline of his phone. “I withdraw.” His eyes met mine momentarily before leaving just as quickly as they’d come. “It’s cowardly.”

“It’s not,” I refuted with furrowed brows. “Feelings are scary.”

“And if you can’t cry?”

“Maybe…well, maybe crying isn’t what you’re scared of. Maybe just all the emotions it brings. Maybe if you talk about it, it won’t feel as scary, and you’ll be able to cry.”

He was crying. He could cry.

With my arms around his neck, I rocked us lightly as best as I could on his lap, and he began to follow the motions. His sobs were lost in my neck as his frame shook, not used to having an outlet for the intense emotions he’d kept inside for so long. I wasn’t sure how long he hadn’t been able to cry, but with how intensely it was wrecked him now, I was sure it had been for a long, long time.

And here he was, crying in my arms after confessing things he’d been so scared to confess. Things he shouldn’t have been ashamed of.

Oh, and I was so angry, but he came before anger. All of my men did. And I would do anything to make them feel better, and right now, he was my prerogative. I would do anything to make him feel better.

I continued telling him he was safe, that I loved him, and that I wasn’t leaving him. He was a silent crier, but his body felt it loudly, and I rocked him and spoke to him gently as he felt feelings he’d pushed away for far too long. I knew what that felt like, and my empathy bled for him.

It was a long time before his body stopped shaking and his tears slowed, and when they turned into a steady, languid trickle, I narrated what he revealed to me—but with a twist. I spoke about his sexual orientation and how I loved everything about him, how I would love to hear more about it, how I would never leave over something he had no control over, how I would never force him to have sex with me or do anything he didn’t want to do, and how well he did communicating with me about something that frightened him.

My words negated what he’d been so afraid of and what his girlfriend told him, and he slumped slightly. I could tell he was trying to hold himself up since I was on his lap, and trying to be quick for his sake, I pushed onto the bed, grabbed his arm gently, and pulled him into my arms.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on tight, burying his face into my stomach for comfort and warmth.

Caressing his hair, I murmured a mixture of praise and understanding for the words he spoke, and as time passed, so did his tears—and the overwhelming sense of fear that caused it. The latter dulled—I could tell when he lifted his face—and for a moment, he looked so relieved. I could only imagine how good it must have felt to cry after so long, even if it also felt overwhelming.

But he looked at my shirt, noted how he had wet it with tears, and looked up at me slowly with a sorry expression.

“It’s okay,” I soothed. “They’re just tears, and it’s just a shirt. You’re my boyfriend, and I love you, and you can cry on my shirt as many times as you want to. I can always get another shirt, but I’ll never get another you.” I smoothed my fingers through his hair and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You’re so precious.”

He teared up again, his eyes puffy and swollen. “You are so kind.” His voice broke, exhausted from his tears.

“So are you,” I whispered. “You’re so kind, Yoongi.” I caressed his back. “People like to take advantage of that, but no is no, and an exhausted yes is still a no. You didn’t deserve that; no one does.”

“Thank you for saying that,” he stammered. “I know I didn’t, but it is so nice to hear it isn’t my fault instead of just thinking it.”

I kissed his head repeatedly. “I’ll tell you whenever you need to hear it, I promise. Okay?”

“Okay,” he managed.

“We can stay here for as long as you need,” I told him gently. “If you’re comfortable with it, you can sleep in my bed tonight. Just sleep.”

He blinked up at me with his dewy eyes, softened from his tears. “Just sleep?”

“Of course,” I attested firmly. “We can cuddle if you want, but no matter what, it will be just sleep. Nothing sexual.”

His features creased, and he whispered, “I would love just sleep.”

“Me too,” I murmured. “Do you want to just sleep with me tonight?”

“Yes, I would like that very much.”

“Then you will.” I enjoyed how he curled further into me. “Do you want to grab anything from your room to make you more comfortable? I can go grab it if you want to just relax in here for a minute; I’ll be super quick.”

“I don’t believe so.” He sniffled. “All I need is you.”

“Oh, Yoongi.” I kissed his wet cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “And I want to thank you for holding me while I cried. It was…very intense for me.”

“I thought it might be,” I agreed quietly. “It must have been a long time since you cried, I think.”

“Yes,” he murmured. “But Faeryn, it felt so good. It feels like…a weight has been lifted.” He exhaled tremulously. “My eyes hurt, but my body does not hurt as much as it did before.”

My thumb gently wiped the soft padding beneath his eyes. “We can get a cold compress for your eyes.”

“No. I…I want them to hurt for a while longer. It will remind me that I can cry again. I don’t want to forget how again.”

I kissed his eyelids, and he closed his eyes to allow me better access.

“Whenever you want the cold compress,” I murmured, “I’ll get it for you, but only if you want to. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

“It is a good kind of pain.” He carefully traced beneath his eyes. “They are swollen, and my nose is stuffy.” He looked at me with two quick blinks. “I like crying.”

A fond smile broke out on my face. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Very much. Thank you for making my tears feel safe enough to fall.”

I hugged him close. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel safe.”

“All you have to do is be you,” he whispered.

I breathed deeply. “My Yoongi.”

“Yours,” he confirmed assiduously. “And you…are my Faeryn.”

My smile remained, and my anger dimmed slightly. “Yours.”

We stayed in our position for a while longer, playing with each other’s fingers, whispering, and enjoying each other’s silence. When he decided he wanted to sit instead, he sat beside me and tentatively lifted the blankets in question. As soon as I gave the word, he moved beneath the blankets with me and offered me a watery smile.

I kissed him softly, and afterward, we decided to play gentle music on his favorite streaming service, and he was content to listen to it while I crocheted, his eyes flickering along with the motions before they began to droop with exhaustion.

He fell asleep like that, listening to music and watching me crochet until his head fell in my lap, tangled with my yarn and crochet markers.

He was so beautiful.

And I decided to work on another crochet project with the yarn on my bedside table so he could keep the yarn he fell asleep on for cushioning.

꧁꧂

 

We were going away. Jin said it would be good for me—for us. A break from work and the town Ryker still resided in.

We would leave the day after Christmas; they wanted to spend my first Christmas after Ryker alone with me, and I knew it was because they wanted me to feel safe. I appreciated it more than I could verbalize.

The morning of Christmas, I had already been spoiled rotten on Christmas Eve. They let me open a few presents, and I was completely overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness of each gift. I knew they loved and cared for me, but each present screamed their acute knowledge of me. My interests, what brought me joy, what I loved—it was all there, and it was such a relief to be known and understood.

I cried a little, but they kissed each tear away and tugged me to them, hugging me and letting me settle beside two of them for maximum comfort as I watched a few of them open presents.

Now, I was awoken with breakfast in bed; pancakes with whipped cream to make it look like Santa’s beard.

Jungkook’s shining face was the first I saw, quickly followed by the rest of my men trailing into my room with our matching pajamas.

I was barely awake, but so many good feelings swirled in my stomach. It was undeniable how much I loved them.

“My men,” I breathed out, cupping Jungkook’s face.

His features broke into a giddy grin, and he leaned down for a kiss. I bestowed it readily, leaning back to pepper kisses along his face and reaching for the others.

Once I kissed everyone, they crowded around my bed, only a few of us fitting on it.

I beamed. “Santa Claus for breakfast.”

Namjoon smiled fondly. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

My features lit up as everyone chorused the sentiment, and I bit into my first pancake happily.

“Merry Christmas,” I decided because, for the first time in 3 years, it was merry indeed.

Presents came after I washed up and brushed my teeth, and they all decided I was up first.

The Christmas tree was beautifully lit and surrounded by more presents than I could count, and after location one with my name, I hurried to reclaim my seat next to Taehyung and Yoongi.

I smiled brightly. “It’s from Taehyung.”

He showed a dimpled grin, his excitement clear on his features. “I hope you like it.”

“I know I will,” I said giddily. “Because it’s from you.”

I kissed his cheek as I carefully peeled back the wrapping paper, telling him how pretty I thought it was.

He kissed my cheek in return. “Pretty like you.”

I giggled, the sound transforming into a gasp when his gift was revealed. It was difficult to remove it, pink and heavy, but as soon as I managed, I squealed and tugged it to my chest.

A beautiful weighted blanket covered with a Monolophosaurus—wearing a tiara with pink ruffles.

“I love it!” I declared, all smiles and giggles. “I love it so much.”

He grinned, returning my initiated hug tightly. “Do you like the pink tiara? Also, look at the bottom.”

I looked closer, bursting into laughter when I noticed the Monolophosaurus was wearing socks.

“What?” Jungkook asked, holding Yoongi’s knee for stability as he tried to get a better look. “What is it?”

“Socks!” I exclaimed.

Jungkook’s brows scrunched. “Socks?”

Yoongi started to smile. “It’s because of the anesthesia.”

Jimin clapped his hands, pleasantly surprised. “Taehyung, donned the sock lover by Faeryn under the anesthetic influence.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened with remembrance, and his giggles joined mine as everyone’s laughter trickled in.

“And it’s weighted,” Jungkook pointed out happily, sending a proud, admiring look to Taehyung. “It helps with regulation.”

“So thoughtful,” Jimin praised Taehyung. “Such a nice gift.”

Taehyung’s smile grew. “I’m just glad she likes it.”

“I love it!” I told him. “Where did you find it?”

“Oh! Well.” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I had it personally made. No shop really sells blankets with Monolophosauruses wearing tiaras and socks.”

I hugged him again. “Thank you!”

Jungkook jumped up. “My turn!”

I watched him, eager to see what present he got, but instead of picking one for himself, he brought one for me—one from him.

“For you!” He presented the gift in teddy bear wrapping eagerly. “It’s from me.”

“But it’s your turn to open a present,” I insisted, only taking the gift when he waited expectantly, his smile beginning to fall.

“Okay,” I relented. “But you pick a present for you after this.”

His smile returned happily. “Okay!”

He purchased me a pajama set for Mr. Stuffins—one from the official website.

“So cute!” I gushed. “Thank you!”

I hugged him, laughing when he could barely keep still, buzzing with excitement because of how much I loved his gift.

“I thought you would like it,” he hurried to say, a blushing mess. “Joon and I were in the area, and I saw it, so I got it for you.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “You’re so sweet.”

He kissed me again, struggling to keep his euphoria to a minimum, but he was twitching with it. I pulled him to sit beside me, leaning over to squeeze Yoongi’s thigh. “He’s excited,” I told Yoongi.

Yoongi caught my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it. “We will keep him between us. It’s all right.”

Jungkook nestled up to me, and taking the nonverbal cue, Hoseok stood to retrieve Jungkook’s gift. It was from him, and Jungkook accepted it heartily with a breathy, “Thanks, hyung.”

Jungkook received a new lounge outfit, a pretty pastel pink with a bubble headband to match. For his self-care routine at night.

“Hyung,” Jungkook said, his pink cheeks matching the outfit. “Thank you.”

“Oh, our Kookie will look so pretty,” Jimin crooned. “All dressed in pink.”

“The headband will be helpful for his bangs,” Taehyung teased, ruffling Jungkook’s hair.

Namjoon hummed thoughtfully. “He does need a haircut.”

Jin’s thumb drew along his lower lip. “Yes,” he said presently. “His hair color is peaking through the brunette.”

Jungkook put both hands on his head. “Stop looking at me!”

Laughter filled the room, and I patted his knee with a grin.

“Your hair is pretty,” I told him. “Even if your real hair color is coming back.”

“It’s the holidays,” he mumbled. “We didn’t have time to bleach the top again.”

“With our comeback, you’ll dye it once the holidays are over.” Namjoon chuckled. “You’ll be fine, bub.”

“Speaking of pink.” Hoseok retrieved a second present and made his way to me, lowering himself to kiss my cheek. “For you.”

“Everyone else needs to take turns,” I refused.

“This goes with Jungkook’s present,” he responded fondly. “We’ll take our turns after this.”

I sighed. “Okay, but this is the last present I’ll open for a while.”

It was a matching lounge set to Jungkook’s, and Jungkook was ecstatic.

“We’ll match!” he exclaimed. “Thanks, hyung!”

“Thank you, Hobi,” I gushed, kissing him excitedly. “I love it!”

“Our two pretty pink angels,” Jimin cooed.

Jungkook and I blushed intensely.

“Your turns now!” I insisted.

Laughter spread, and everyone took their turns, thoroughly pleased with the gifts I crocheted and the ones I bought. Their reactions were heaven to me, and I basked in their praise and kisses.

We took a break between the present opening when it drew on, stopping to bake cookies together with Christmas music blasting and hot chocolate in hand, teasing and laughing together.

Taehyung and I danced in the kitchen, and although I did so clumsily, he guided me, making my faulty moves look nearly effortless.

Once the rest of the presents were opened and our stomachs were full of cookies and hot chocolate, Namjoon stood. I turned to him questioningly, wrapped in my blanket and adorning multiple clothing options I’d been gifted. It evoked a laugh from everyone earlier, endeared and humored by me.

“Well then,” Namjoon announced, a hint of a smile poking through. “Yoongi, if you would do the honors.”

Yoongi followed his lead, earning my piqued interest.

“Where are you going?” I asked them, watching as Yoongi left to his room while Namjoon approached the speakers near the TV.

Namjoon put a finger to his lips, a playful action that made me smile despite my confusion.

“Be patient,” he warned light-heartedly.

I nodded with a big grin, nestling closer to Taehyung. “I will.”

Jungkook poked my new jacket, courtesy of Hoseok. “You willingly made yourself ducky today.” He giggled. “A Christmas ducky.”

I squeaked and folded my arms across my chest, making the multiple pieces of clothing I wore crinkle. “I’m very fashionable.”

“A fashionable ducky.”

I poked his arm. “Be nice to me.”

“I’ll always be nice to you.” He squeezed me tightly, looking at me fervently. “I love you.”

The festivities had a positive effect on him, and his euphoric gaze was present, tending lovingly to his slightly mussed hair and bright, doe eyes.

I cupped his cheek, touched. “I love you, too.”

Jimin’s tongue clicked. “Aren’t you both just so sweet?”

“They are,” Taehyung attested jovially. “Very sweet.”

“I’m just”—Jungkook sucked air in through his cheeks—“so happy that I get to spend Christmas with everyone, and this time, I get to spend it with you too. It’s like…” He gnawed on his lip as he thought of the right word, his eyes lighting up as he concluded, “A dream.”

“You’re a dream,” I told him, pinching his cheek before tugging him back to me. “You’re my sweet Jungkook, and I’m so happy I’m here for Christmas.”

“And forever after that,” he said into my shoulder, his hold on me turning possessive. “Ours, Faeryn.”

The sudden possessiveness coming from him made me shiver.

Hoseok commented lightly, “Don’t make it sound like she’s trapped.”

“I’m not,” Jungkook defended. Paused. “Am I?”

“No,” I assured him. “I want forever. So much.”

Namjoon turned the speakers. “Love confessions on Christmas. What isn’t festive about that?”

“Namjoon,” Jimin sang. “Your boyfriend is flirting with your girlfriend.”

“You know what, Jimin, I have ears.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Namjoon shot him a playful look, earning laughter.

Yoongi returned in the middle of Jungkook’s desperate kiss with me—usual thigh pats were not calming him down—and he held something behind his back.

“Hello,” he greeted. “I am back.”

Namjoon’s fingers flicked him forward. “C’mere.”

Yoongi walked forward just as Jimin gripped Jungkook’s shoulder and pulled him away from me, ordering laughingly, “Let her breathe.”

Jungkook released a pitiful whimper that immediately made me reach for him, wanting to make him feel better, but Jimin didn’t allow it.

“He’s fine,” he told me, chuckling. “Our bunny is a little riled up. Feeling a little excited, hm? In the Christmas spirit?”

Jungkook looked at me hopefully, awaiting when he could return to me.

Jimin tapped his chin. “Don’t be rude, bunny.”

“Yes,” Jungkook whined. “I’m excited and happy.”

“Namjoon and Yoongi are about to occupy Faeryn with something, so you need to control yourself.”

“I am,” Jungkook defended, but his heavy breathing wasn’t helping him make any points.

“Let me have him back,” I insisted.

“You need to focus,” Jin instructed. “Jungkook, sit with your hyung and be still.”

Jungkook shifted uncomfortably.

“Be still, bub,” Namjoon reiterated Jin’s words, turning to Yoongi. “Put it in here.”

Jimin snickered. “Put it in here.”

Taehyung groaned. “You and your sexual innuendos.”

“Live a little,” Jimin teased.

“Living without sexual innuendos is still living.”

Namjoon tapped the speakers, catching our attention. “I need everyone to be quiet for the next five minutes. Do you think you wild animals—minus Faeryn—can do that?”

“Wild animals?” Taehyung scoffed. “I’m dignified.”

“Sometimes,” Jungkook taunted, shrieking when Taehyung leaned over me to hit his thigh.

“You’re one to talk,” Taehyung retorted. “You’re barely stopping yourself from humping the air.”

Jungkook’s lips parted and closed multiple times before he looked to Namjoon for help.

Namjoon lifted an amused brow. “Can you or can you not be quiet for the next five minutes?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about him.” Jimin’s hand slithered down Jungkook’s chest and cupped his clothed cock. “I’ll keep him occupied.”

Jungkook’s breath hitched with a gasp, and he looked at me quickly, his eyes already glazed over with the tell-tale signs of his arousal.

My pulse quickened, and when he shifted slightly—to get to me, I wasn’t sure—Jimin tightened his hold on Jungkook’s cock, making the latter pant and remain still.

“There.” Jimin used his other hand to fondle Jungkook’s balls, and I watched as the outline of the latter’s cock showed through his pants. “Your boyfriend’s nice and quiet, Namjoon.”

Jin leaned back in his seat, his thighs slightly spread as he rested one arm over his forehead. “Go ahead, Namjoon, before your boyfriend combusts.”

Jungkook couldn’t defend himself anymore, his spine straight as he ever so slowly swiveled his hips against Jimin’s tight grip. It didn’t earn him much friction, but it was enough to keep him occupied.

I struggled to tear my ears from the scene, but Namjoon grabbed my attention when he commanded, “Eyes on me, Faeryn. Eyes on Yoongi and me.”

The dominance his voice held won, and my eyes latched onto him before shifting to Yoongi’s.

“Yes?” I was slightly breathless myself.

“Stay with us,” he said, biting back an amused smile. “You and Jungkook can take a break after this, but for now, stay with us.”

I managed a nod. “Okay.”

It was difficult to concentrate at first, but as soon as music came through the speakers, my eyes widened slightly when Yoongi’s raspy voice came through. He looked shy beside Namjoon, but he stood up tall with clasped hands in front of him.

When Namjoon’s voice mingled with Yoongi’s, confusion met me before it turned into wonder. This was a song I had never heard, and I had become well-versed with each of their songs. This was new—and it was for me.

My eyes sparkled with excitement, and I propped myself onto my feet on the couch, curling my knees to my chest as I listened with rapt attention.

The lyrics were beautiful and heartfelt—not to mention a little cheeky in a kind way—and by the time it ended, I was laughing wondrously.

“Again!” I exclaimed, jumping to my feet with several claps. “Again, again!”

Yoongi beamed, and Namjoon laughed, catching me when I ran to him. He swept me up into his arms, twirling me a few times before dipping his face to mine and kissing me hard.

“This was your surprise,” I concluded excitedly. “The one you and Yoongi were talking about that day.”

“Mhm.” He kissed my chin. “What do you think?”

“I love it!” I squealed, squirming in his arms to be put down.

He released me, and I hugged Yoongi tightly, laughing with surprise when he lifted me. His strength was something I still hadn’t gotten used to, and when he twirled me, I held onto him with happy peels of laughter.

“I am so glad you like it,” he exclaimed, flushed.

I kissed him eagerly. “I love it and you and everyone here!”

He squeezed me to him, returning my face passionately.

“Okay, okay,” Jimin teased. “Get a room.”

Taehyung shot back laughingly, “Like you’re one to talk.”

I heard Jimin’s grin. “Touché. Hm, Kookie? Touché?”

Jungkook whimpered in response, and I turned slightly to see Jimin lazily pumping Jungkook’s dick over his sweatpants.

I gasped. “Jungkook!”

He twitched, nodding rapidly to show he was listening. “Yes?” he stammered.

“I forgot to give you something!” I wiggled, and Yoongi put me down with one last kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

Jungkook huffed out a strained agreement as Jimin continued teasing him.

I left and returned quickly, holding Jungkook’s wrapped gift carefully.

“Jimin,” I scolded. “Hands off for two minutes.”

Jimin retracted his hand with a laugh, earning a desperate whine from Jungkook.

“Wait,” I instructed Jungkook. “You can have Jimin’s hand in one second.”

“Look at you, honey.” Jimin whistled lowly. “Are you joining the dom side?”

I put a finger to my lips, and he laughed but listened, leaning into the couch as he put a finger to his lips in response.

Jungkook put his hands over his hard on, but I pushed them away, tutting, “It’s okay. You don’t have to hide.” I placed the present on his lap. “For you.”

Without thinking, his hips rutted upward to chase the sensation of the gift, and he looked at me, horrified by his actions.

I tried not to laugh, but when the others did, a giggle escaped me. “It’s okay,” I reassured him, motioning to the gift. “Just open it.”

Humiliated, he hung his head and obeyed.

“Poor Kookie,” Jimin teased. “Too horny for his own good.”

Jungkook glared at him.

“It’s okay,” I comforted him again. “Just open the present, and you and I can go have fun together like Namjoon said we could.”

He lit up slightly. “Okay. Thank you, Faeryn.” Tearing back the wrapping paper carefully, a gasp left him when he realized what his gift was.

He beheld the model of our house, each room’s furniture made to match, but each room had a chandelier. He flicked them lightly, and the shiny, tiny bells on them rang.

He gasped again, enamored. “Faeryn, I love this so much! Look at the chandeliers, hyungs, just look!” He pushed out the house so everyone could see. “Look what Faeryn got for me! It has chandeliers!”

Namjoon smiled at me, pleased. “Look at that, bub. Very cool. What do you say?”

“Thank you, Faeryn, thank you,” Jungkook gushed, playing with the chandelier’s bells. “I love it so much.”

“Wow,” Taehyung breathed out, impressed. “Faeryn, this is incredible.”

I grinned. “I got it personally made.”

We shared a big smile, and I lunged at him for a hug, giggling as he pulled me onto his lap and held me while Jungkook fawned over his gift.

“What a thoughtful gift, sweetheart,” Hoseok praised. “Jungkook will treasure that forever.”

“Just like I’ll treasure him forever,” I proclaimed, earning praise and claims of how sweet I was from everyone and a blush and thank you from Jungkook—plus a promise that he would do the same.

“We all will.” Jin wore his handsome, watchful smile as he took us all in. “We treasure each other.”

“Well, shit,” Jimin laughed. “Even Jin’s in the Christmas spirit.”

Jin threw a pillow at him, making the rest of us laugh.

Jungkook stood and carefully set the house model down on the coffee table. Turning, he held his hand out to me.

I stood after kissing Taehyung goodbye, taking Jungkook’s hand curiously. “What is it?”

He blushed. “I want to thank you.”

“You already did! It’s okay; one thank you is enough.”

“No, I…I meant that I want to thank you.”

I stared, confused. “I don’t understand.”

His eyes gestured to the stairs, then down to where his cock strained in his sweatpants.

My lips parted. “Oh.”

“Do you want to?” he whispered.

I nodded quickly. “Yes, I want to.” I looked at the others. “Can we go for a little while?”

Jin spread his thighs outward, leaning his head back to rest on his forearms. “Go.”

Jimin joked, “I’m sure they’ll be quick.”

Jungkook managed another glare, but he was too excited to finally claim alone time with me. When I caught Taehyung’s longing gaze, I paused and pushed onto my tiptoes to claim the privacy of Jungkook’s ear.

“Can Taehyung join?” I whispered.

Jungkook blinked over at Taehyung. “Hyung?”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asked.

“Do you…want to join us?”

Taehyung looked at me, surprised. “Is that—that’s really okay?”

“I want you there if you want to come,” I confirmed eagerly.

He looked at the others, clearly excited he had been chosen. “I want to come.”

Jimin snickered. “Come.”

Hoseok laughed. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

Jimin grinned. “Now you’re getting it.”

Taehyung stood quickly. “We can go if you’re both ready. Is it okay with everyone else if it’s just us three?”

“Of course it is,” Namjoon confirmed with a light chuckle. “You’re free to be sexual with each other whenever you want.”

“You’re not jealous?” he wondered.

“No.” Jin quirked a brow. “Do you get jealous?”

“No,” Taehyung responded truthfully. “I just didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially on Christmas.”

“It’s very sweet of you to care,” Hoseok told him kindly. “But we would communicate if we felt jealous. We’re okay here; you three go have fun.”

Taehyung smiled gratefully. “Thanks.”

“Good communication,” Jin commended. “Now go; listen to Hoseok.”

The three of us scurried upstairs, giggling as we hurried away and decided on Taehyung’s room; he had the bigger bed.

My first safe Christmas in three years was turning out to be wondrous.

Notes:

Yes, the smut will continue in the next chapter 😋 On a more serious note, Yoongi's character means so much to me ☹️ I'm so happy he has Faeryn now after everything he went through 😞 anyone wanna find his exes and beat them up? Say I! 🙋‍♀️ I'll come pick you up 🚗💅

Chapter 49: Christmas Vacation and Teary-Eyed Sex

Summary:

Faeryn meets her men's family and struggles with a lack of accommodation, ending the night in tears with her beloved Hobi.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t touch or kiss, but they touched and kissed me.

Two men all to myself, and I loved every second of it.

It was a mix of me being in charge and letting Taehyung guide me when I was tired, panting as they explored my body greedily but with the kindest hands.

While Taehyung kept my panties on and rubbed me through them, caressing the side of my face as he murmured filthy praise in my ear, Jungkook rutted against my leg, sucking and kissing my neck until Taehyung moved his hand to give Jungkook access to me.

Jungkook was quick once he ensured I was ready, and thanks to Taehyung’s prep, Jungkook slid in easily. Taehyung played with my breasts, tugging and kissing them while giving Jungkook room to kiss me.

Taehyung sighed against my cheek, his enjoyment prominent when I felt his cock brush against my outer thigh.

“You’re beautiful,” he rasped, kissing my face where Jungkook hadn’t already claimed.

“You’re so handsome,” I breathed out, my eyes fluttering as Jungkook thrust into me. “Both of you; my handsome men.”

They reacted differently, but just as intensely. Taehyung nipped my neck, leaving hickey’s on my neck and collarbones as he spoke his adoration for me against my skin, and Jungkook rewarded me with a thrust in a spot that made me arch my back for more.

“We’ll make you come,” Jungkook said breathily. “We’ll make you feel so good, Faeryn. Anything for you.”

“You’re already making me feel good,” I moaned, curling my hands through his hair as I did the same to Taehyung. “So, so good.”

He beamed, picking up the pace as his features twisted with ardor. “You feel so, so good.”

“I do?” I made eye contact with him, and he shivered with a quick nod. “Are you going to come?”

“You first,” he said decidedly, but his voice wavered.

“You can come first,” I coaxed. “You’ve let me come first every time we have sex. Don’t you want a turn?”

He bit back a whine. “Faeryn.”

“It’s okay,” I urged, lowering my hand to pat his ass encouragingly. “You can come.”

“It’s okay?” he ensured, panting heavily as he barely kept himself together, his eyes lustful as he watched Taehyung mark my skin. “I want to kiss you like Taehyung is; you belong to both of us.”

“I belong to all of you,” I teased lightly, my words caught with a moan when Taehyung sucked my skin slightly harsher than before.

“Right now,” Taehyung spoke into my neck, “you belong to the two of us.”

I shivered, stammering out my agreement as Jungkook twitched in me.

“Faeryn,” he pleaded.

“You can come,” I reassured him, squeezing his ass for comfort and pleasure. “You can do it.”

He didn’t need further coaxing, unable to stop himself from spilling into the condom with a groan. He thrust to chase his orgasm, burying his face in the side of my neck that wasn’t occupied, and I squirmed as my two men claimed me as I cockwarmed Jungkook.

When it was Taehyung’s turn, my panties were forgotten near my head as he pushed into me, taking special care of my clit as he thrust into me, his longer length making me moan and squirm.

Jungkook took care of my upper body, kneading my breasts and sucking my nipples almost lazily, swiping his tongue over them and offering light nibbles. The action seemed to bring him as much pleasure as it brought me, and he ground his semi-hard cock against my side as he enjoyed himself while furthering my pleasure.

Taehyung rubbed my stomach, soothing his hand across it to comfort and tease as he neglected my clit before returning to it. Already close to the edge, I whimpered, looking at him through my lashes as I wordlessly pleaded with him.

He exhaled tightly, groaning when I clenched around him imploringly. “You feel so good,” he rasped.

“You too,” I moaned. “Please make me come. I’m—I’m already so close.”

“Me too,” he admitted, his voice laced with the truth of his statement. “Watching you feel good because of Jungkook was so hot, and you always look so beautiful, but when we’re making you feel good?” He shuddered. “It’s euphoric.”

Jungkook nodded, sucking my nipple harshly in agreement since didn’t seem to want to release it for a verbal response. I jutted my chest into his mouth, and he groaned his approval, sucking fervently as his hand joined Taehyung’s on my stomach, both of them comforting me and taking turns playing with my clit.

When I came, I nearly screamed, panting as pleasure took over me. Their fingers brushed as they toyed with my clit and rubbed my stomach, and I whined as I felt Taehyung fill his condom with a loud, pleased groan.

Knowing I made them feel pressure was incredible, and I tugged Jungkook up by his hair for a passionate kiss, offering my lips to Taehyung quickly after.

They kissed my cheeks, taking turns with my lips, and I sighed happily as I came down from my orgasm high, feeling special between them as they gently patted my body with rubs and caresses.

“Best Christmas ever,” Jungkook said cheekily, earning a laugh from Taehyung.

“What do you think, Faeryn?” Taehyung asked with a fond grin.

I returned his grin whole-heartedly, clasping their faces close to me. “I think I love you both so much and that this Christmas is incredible—and it’s not even done yet.”

“You’re right.” Jungkook smacked his lips together. “We still have dinner and dessert.” He giggled. “We had dessert before dinner.”

I giggled with him. “Was I your dessert?”

He beamed. “Yup!” He bit into my cheek lightly, the playful action making me squeal. “You’re so delicious.”

“He’s right,” Taehyung concurred, beaming with his orgasm’s effects and from the knowledge he’d made me come. “You always taste incredible.”

“And,” Jungkook added mischievously. “Hyungs will see who you belonged to today.” He licked a stripe along the hickeys he created, and Taehyung did the same to the side of my neck he claimed earlier. “So pretty, Faeryn. The prettiest.”

“The prettiest,” Taehyung agreed.

I squirmed, massively enjoying the feeling of being adored and taken care of, already high from presents, dancing in the kitchen, and baking. Sex topped it all off incredibly.

“I’m so happy!” I blurted. “And I can’t wait to use our matching cameras that Jin bought for us.”

“And the gems Namjoon got so we could decorate them!” Jungkook exclaimed, easily sharing my excitement.

“Shared gifts are so nice,” Taehyung added, elated. “I’m excited to decorate them with you. We could probably do it tonight or in the car for our road trip tomorrow to see our families.”

“I just want to do it with you both together,” I made sure they knew. “I’m so happy Namjoon and Jin got us a shared gift, and I love our matching pajamas from Hobi, Jungkook.”

He grinned. “Me too! I love pink.”

“Me too!”

Taehyung smiled at the two of us. “Pink matches you both really well.”

“You look best in red, hyung,” Jungkook decided. “Your favorite color. Oh, and blue.”

“Yeah, blue,” I confirmed with a big smile. “Red and blue are your colors.”

Taehyung looked pleased. “Really? Thanks! I love red and blue.”

“We know,” Jungkook and I responded with matching grins.

After we cleaned up—I took turns ensuring they were cleaned up and felt taken care of—we bounded back downstairs to return to the others, blushing when Jimin teased us a bit—Namjoon even joined in, earning chuckles from the others.

I squealed when the teasing made my blushes consume me, and I tackled Jimin and attacked him with tickles to stop him. He laughed and kept me to him, returning my tickle attack with kisses.

My first Christmas after three years was everything I could have hoped for and more.

꧁꧂

 

On the way to their parents’ house, Jungkook and Yoongi sat beside me in the car.

The former rambled happily about how they would rent a large house each Christmas so their family could all be together with them. It sounded like a lot of people, and my anxiety was present while I tried to smile for his sake.

Yoongi saw through my strained smile and offered his hand. I held it for the two-hour car ride.

The house was as huge as Jungkook made it out to be, and I swallowed roughly as we exited the car. I was last, and Yoongi remained seated until I was ready. It wasn’t long, I didn’t want to take away from everyone seeing their family, so I squeezed Yoongi’s hand as we walked to the front door.

Boisterous communication sounded from inside, and soon, we were enveloped in relatives I had never met as they greeted my men loudly and heartily. I tried to sink back, but everyone’s attention soon shifted to mine, happily demanding to see the woman my men spoke about.

There were so many of them, women, men, and children alike, and I was at a loss for words. Reeling myself in, I parroted, “Hi, I’m Faeryn.”

It was enough for them; they greeted me wholeheartedly, to my relief, and led us inside. We were ushered into the dining area for drinks while dinner was being finished, and I opted for tea instead of wine, not enjoying the taste or how buzzed it made me feel.

Jimin brought my strawberry cup with us, so I could have a sense of normality. I held it tightly as I sipped my tea from a straw.

I was introduced to each of their parents, and I could barely breathe through each introduction, but I did my best practiced smiles and shook their hands, holding as much eye contact as I could. Eventually, my nerves and weariness caught up to me, and I was incapable of holding eye contact.

Everyone was kind and nice, but they were also achingly loud. The volume was intense with adults snorting out laughter, children screaming as they ran around the house, and older kids screeching their enjoyment over video games.

The nose made me feel faint and dizzy, and I wasn’t sure when it happened, but people kept taking my men from me, pulling them to see how their nieces and nephews had grown. I remember assuring Yoongi I was okay on my own, but I barely remembered it. I wanted him back—I wanted any one of them right beside me, but the house was too big. I couldn’t even begin to locate them, and I couldn’t hear their voices.

I shakily went to the kitchen to pour myself tea, abruptly halting when I realized ten pairs of eyes were on me as I grabbed the kettle. Bug-eyed, I greeted, “Hello.”

“Are you talking to yourself, dear?” Jimin’s aunt asked.

I blinked, confused. “No.”

“Oh, well, you were speaking to no one in particular just now. Are you feeling okay?”

Just then, a kid raced by and shouted, “Poopy diaper!”

“Poopy diaper,” I echoed, only pausing when the entire kitchen stared at me.

Horrified, I stepped back and put the kettle down as quickly as I could, only filling my cup halfway. How long had I been doing that?

Jimin’s aunt was asking me who I was talking to, but it was just Echolalia. And I wanted to disappear into a hole beneath the floorboards.

“It’s Echolalia,” I tried to explain, but my voice was too high-pitched to be explained, and when the child ran back repeating the same thing, so did I, and I wanted to cry.

Turning, I hurried away in desperate search of solitude. It was a big house; there had to be silence somewhere.

On my way to a secret solitude, someone turned the corner during their game of tag and knocked my strawberry cup out of my hands. I tried to catch it, desperately trying to keep it to myself, but it smashed into pieces on the floor.

Startled, I cried out, pushing the child away and lifting them quickly off their feet. They had been a mere inch from the broken glass of my strawberry cup, and I stared at them with wide eyes, searching their face for any signs of pain.

“Silly goose,” I heard myself say; I sounded like my mother. “Did you almost step in that mess? You can’t do that, not when you’re trying to win tag!”

The little girl, on the verge of tears at the sudden scare, started to giggle. “I’m not a goose!”

“You’re not?” I gasped. “But you were so silly that I knew you had to be a silly goose.”

She squealed with laughter when I tickled her sides lightly, distracting her as I found a beanbag nearby to put her on.

“Okay,” I said in a silly voice, saluting her. “I know just the trick to make you run faster in tag.”

Her eyes filled with wonder. “Really?!”

“Really! You just have to hold still, and I will do my special speedy trick.”

She held her breath giddily, and while she was distracted, I lifted her feet to ensure no glass had breached her skin. Nothing was there, and releasing a relieved breath, I grabbed her ankles and pushed them up and down in a racing motion.

“One, two, three—” I made motor sounds, using my lips to create them, and she shrieked with laughter, kicking her legs and doing the same. “You’re ready to go! Go, go, go!”

She jumped up, and I steered her away from the glass, hurrying back to the scene to clean it up. It was only when I took a step forward after ensuring the little girl was okay that pain shot through my foot. Wincing, I pushed through it, not wanting anyone else to be hurt. Finding a dustpan in the kitchen, my head hung as I tried not to look at anyone who heard me experiencing Echolalia, I swiftly returned to the glass.

When I arrived to clean, however, Taehyung was there, surprised and shock etched in his face. “Faeryn?” he asked when he saw me, standing where he was carefully picking the glass up. “This is yours?”

Taehyung.

I wobbled to him, and he blinked in confusion when he saw how I walked, but it was quickly traded for concern.

“Do you have glass in your foot?” he pressed worriedly. “Faeryn, give the dustpan to me. I’ll clean it up.”

I released it, unsure if I could fend off the pain for any longer, and thankfully, Jungkook announced himself cheerily.

“It’s almost time for dessert,” he announced, pausing when he saw us. “What happened?”

Taehyung was quick to relay, “She has glass in her foot; her strawberry cup is…”

He trailed off, and Jungkook looked torn into pieces when he saw my favorite cup in pieces. He sprang into action, lifting me into his arms and carrying me to the bathroom.

“We have a first-aid kit here,” he told me, holding me tightly. “I’ll fix it.”

He sat me on the lid of the toilet seat, retrieved the first-aid kit, and got to work on my feet. A few pieces of glass tormented me, and he pulled out tweezers and cleansing alcohol.

“This will hurt,” he warned worriedly. “Hold onto my shoulders as tightly as you can.”

I did, leaning forward and hiding my face in his neck as he located shards of glass and eased them out of my feet as carefully as he could, but it stung all the same.

After he finished, he soothed me with multiple kisses as the cleansing alcohol’s burn remained.

He even bandaged both feet, and I pleaded, “I want my socks.”

I had tried to be like everyone else and keep mine off, but the floor wasn’t safe, my tip-toes were tired, and I didn’t want anyone to see the bandages and ask what happened.

“Okay,” he breathed out. “We’ll get your socks. Do you want to wait in here?”

Once I confirmed, he left quickly and returned at the same speed, coaxing the socks onto my feet.

“There,” he murmured, looking at me hopefully. “Better?”

“Better,” I managed.

He caressed my cheek, unsure of my answer. “You look tired. Do you want to go to bed?”

I shook my head. “I want to keep trying.”

“Keep trying?”

“To be with everyone. I know I was introduced to them, but I want to get to know them, especially everyone’s parents.”

“Most of them are in the living room,” he revealed. “Do you want to sit with me on one of the couches and be a part of the conversation? You don’t have to talk much; I can answer for you if you’re too tired, or you can sign, and I can translate.”

I winced. “No, I…I want to try to talk.”

“Okay,” he agreed good-naturedly. “I just wanted to give you options. Is that okay?”

“Yes, but I don’t want them.”

“Okay.” He rubbed my arms quickly. “Come with me into the living room?”

I nodded mutely, and he helped me to my feet, keeping my hand in his as we entered the living room. It was loud, and my earplugs were abandoned in my bag, as were my sunglasses. I hadn’t wanted to draw any more attention and answer the same question the rest of the night, so I was suffering while everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves.

Jungkook was right; most of their parents were in here, but I couldn’t focus on the topics. I was spinning in my seat, my accommodations lost to me as I kept echoing words my brain picked up while I floated around the room without moving a muscle.

I didn’t know where the rest of my men were, most likely mingling throughout the large house, but I missed them. I wanted them here with me, and I wanted my sunglasses and earplugs, and I wanted the first gift Jimin ever gave—my strawberry cup now smashed into pieces—and I wanted my parents.

I wanted my parents.

I wanted my parents.

Everyone’s parents were here.

But not mine.

Dessert came and passed, and my plate remained untouched. I wasn’t even sure what it was.

I knew Jungkook was talking to me, but I could barely handle the environment anymore. I wanted comfort, and although Jungkook was seated beside me, it wasn’t close enough.

Soon, the second round of dessert came as others entered the kitchen and living area, too busy to claim the first round. My men came with it, and I almost burst into tears at the sight of them.

When they arrived, they each looked around until they found me, and although their smiles were different, they were all fond.

I needed them. I needed to feel them, I needed to be close. I needed to remember that I was loved, even if my parents weren’t here when everyone’s parents were.

But I couldn’t move from my seat, glued to it, so all I could do was look at them as they were pulled into conversations amid their dessert.

One by one, they entered the living room to join the others, offering me a greeting first and foremost with a tender touch, cheek-kiss, or murmuring hello near my ear where only I could hear; it was intimate, and I craved more after being in the open for so long.

Finally, people began to retire, and Jungkook turned to whisper if I wanted to get ready for bed. I felt myself nodding, and he helped me up, putting his arm around me to keep as much pressure off my feet as possible when I refused to let him lift me up. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.

Upstairs, he knew something was wrong, and he helped me brush my teeth and take down my hair. I never wore it up, but I wanted to try. He showered with me, removed my sensory-friendly makeup, applied moisturizer, and carried me to bed when I was tired enough to need it.

He knew me well; he took me to Hoseok’s room.

Hoseok turned slightly from where he was unpacking his items, his hair slightly damp from his shower, and he adorned comfortable pajamas that I immediately wanted to bury my face into.

I reached for him instinctively, and just like Jungkook, he knew something was wrong. He was before me in seconds, soothing my exhausted expression as he cradled me in his arms.

Jungkook lingered, whispering to Hoseok until he was sure he had informed him completely, and with a kiss to my cheek, he told me he would see me in the morning. I appreciated him and his help, and I inwardly promised to tell him how much when I had enough strength to.

Hoseok rested me on his bed, bringing the blankets back and settling me beneath them. Once he was beside me, wrapping me into his warmth, the tears started, and they didn’t stop. They were quiet, desperate for relief, and I clung to him as my body shook tremulously.

“I’m here,” he murmured, his voice warm and reassuring. “Breathe for me, sweetheart.”

I buried my face in his neck, my safe space, and continued crying. The release was immensely helpful, and I cried for a multitude of things, but I cried for loss dimming something new. I wanted to meet their parents and family, but it reminded me of how I lacked in that area. I tried to “fit” in, but the lack of accommodations because of my insistence brought me to a near-frozen state for most of the day. My strawberry cup was broken, and I had missed my men so sorely today in the face of new people and difficulty masking after I’d begun to feel more like myself with my men—and Lyric and Cheverie.

Today was supposed to be fun, but I was drained and needed skin-to-skin contact. I needed the warmth, I needed the reassurance—I needed to know I was okay even in the face of everything that today trudged up.

I stammered Hoseok’s name as I struggled to get closer to him, nuzzling my face in his neck and chest and face. His warmth and love kept me safe as they always did, and his hands traveled from my hair, neck, back, and waist as he offered rubs and squeezes alongside his words of comfort.

“Too much,” I finally managed to communicate. “Today. So loud. I didn’t accommodate myself, and I kept mimicking people to the point that I didn’t realize it and people looked at me weird, and this little girl almost hurt her feet with glass because she bumped into me and broke my strawberry cup—but she’s okay and didn’t cry because if you let them know it’s okay and that you’re not scared, they won’t be scared; that’s why my mom told me, and my parents—”

My tears fell faster. “Everyone has parents here, and I’m so happy they do, but it made me miss mine. And I—I missed you today, all of you. I couldn’t find you, and I couldn’t hear you, and I was with Jungkook for a little while, but it wasn’t enough; I wasn’t close enough, and I need you.”

“Faeryn.” His brows tugged together, and he shifted my face into the open, watching my screwed up features with concern. “Was there a certain reason you couldn’t text or call us? We would’ve come to you right away.”

“You were with your family,” I stammered through my tears. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

His grip on me tightened. “You are our family. You call, and we come. That won’t ever change, and I need you to know that.”

I tried to hide my face again, but he wouldn’t allow it.

“I’m so sorry,” he rasped, “about your family. I know how much it crushes you. They would want you to live like Faeryn, to accommodate yourself so you can enjoy yourself. Things that remind you of them, like our parents, might hurt you, but they’re parents before they’re people.”

He caressed my temples. “Maybe that doesn’t make a difference, but I want it to help you feel better. Let you see it through a different lens. I know you miss your parents, I can’t begin to imagine just how much, but they wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”

“I just miss them,” I cried. “And I miss my earplugs and sunglasses. I was just floating all day, and I felt so”—I spat the words out bitterly—“Autistic.”

“And what,” he said, his face closer to mine than before with determination written on it, “is wrong with being Autistic? The only thing I see wrong, Faeryn, is you denying yourself accommodations. There is no such thing as fitting in, and if anyone in this house dared to belittle, insult, or mock you, they would have no choice but to leave at our command. They might not understand you as much as we do, but we didn’t always understand you like we do now. We learned.” His voice softened. “Because we wanted to. Because you mean so much to us. And they’re been so excited to meet you; they want to care about you, too.”

“I want to know them,” I insisted tearfully. “But I—”

“You couldn’t because you were struggling without your accommodations. Tomorrow”—he shifted slightly—“you’ll accommodate yourself. Earplugs—headphones on top of them if needed—sunglasses, comfortable clothes, keep your hair down, and use sign language if you need to. We’ll translate. If anyone in this house found it weird, they wouldn’t be in this house. We root out who we need to; it’s a safe place here, although loud.”

I sniffled. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” he murmured.

I nodded, wiping my nose. “I’ll accommodate myself.”

“Good,” he praised softly. “You’ll feel better when you do, and it will give you a window to get to know our family like you wanted to.”

“Mostly your parents,” I revealed. “The people who gave me all of you.”

He smiled tenderly. “And even though your parents aren’t here, sweetheart, I thank them every day for giving us you—and your grandparents for giving you your parents.”

I choked up. “That’s so nice.”

“It’s the truth,” he murmured, kissing me tenderly. “You’re part of our family now, and I know it won’t fill the hole completely, but hopefully, it can help. We’ll do everything in our power to make you feel welcomed and at home.”

“My home is with you,” I said fiercely. “My men.”

“Your men,” he concurred firmly. “You’ll always have a home with us, Faeryn. You know that—and you should know our home would never be the same without you.”

“I miss you,” I burst.

“I’m right here.” He shifted closer despite his words. “Right here with you.”

“No,” I confessed, too tired to feel the usual fear circulating this topic. “When I’m at my apartment. I don’t want to stay there, Hoseok, I want to be with you. And I know I should be independent and have my own apartment, claim it since Ryker took it from me once, but I don’t want to sleep in my apartment when I can sleep at home—when I can live at home.”

My chest heaved with vigor. “I’ve wanted to say this for so long, but I—I was afraid, and then we promised each other forever, so I thought I would ask further down the line, but I miss you. I miss home. And I don’t want to be away from it anymore.”

His features softened immensely, overflowing with love. “Oh, sweetheart.” He hugged me to him, squeezing me tightly. “Your home misses you, too.”

Hope made a home in my chest. “It does? You do? All of you?”

“We have since you left,” he murmured. “But we thought you wanted an apartment; it’s what you talked about since you moved in with us at home, and it’s true, I thought you wanted to claim the independence Ryker stole, but Faeryn, you can be independent at home, too. It’s a state of mind, not a physical place. That’s why we haven’t broached the topic of you returning to us; you made your move of independence, and if you wanted otherwise, you would make a different move of independence—asking us to return on your own terms.”

My eyes filled. “You waited for me?”

“Sweetheart,” he murmured. “We have forever to wait for you.”

My skin itched, my body burned, and I looked at him longingly. “I need you.”

He rested his forehead against mine. “What do you need from me?”

“I need you close,” I confessed. “I’ve wanted to be so close, and even this isn’t enough. I—I don’t know, I just need to feel you.”

“In what way do you need me?”

“I just need you,” I whispered. “It’s like I’m…I don’t know, it feels like I’m going to crawl out of my skin all night. Nothing was close enough, even showering with Jungkook tonight. I need you, please, I just—I need you.”

“I hear you, sweetheart.” He brushed hair away from my face. “Could you elaborate so I’m sure we’re on the same page?”

“It’s…the pressure,” I finally conjured. “Of you on top of me and…inside me. It feels so…” I struggled before concluding, “Comforting, like I’m not alone. Like warm blankets, but it’s you, and you’re making me feel so good, and I can finally breathe again.” I looked at him. “Like when we went to the ocean because of Ryker and you helped me feel good.”

I took a stammered breath. “It makes me feel full and close and safe, like an infinite hug.”

“Do you want a hug?” he asked me, touched. “I can hug you all night if you need me to.”

“No,” I whispered. “I need you. Please, Hoseok. I just want something slow and gentle, and you’re the best at that.” My eyes met his tearfully. “You’re Hobi.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, and his protectiveness flickered through his eyes. “I am.”

“Then please make me feel loved.”

My words hit their mark, and he gave in to me easily.

“Is your headspace okay for this?” he asked, watching me with fervent adoration and gentle care. “You can use code words or communicate non-verbally if needed?”

“Yes,” I breathed out. “I can.”

He gathered me to him for a hug, breathed deeply, and rearranged me on my back against his pillows.

“I didn’t bring a condom,” he confessed as he traced my features kindly, keeping his voice quiet and calm. “I wasn’t expecting you to need me in this way.”

“It’s okay.” I twined my arms around his neck. “You can come on my stomach, and…clean me up like you always do, if that’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.” His lips brushed mine. “I’ll take good care of you during and after.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I really needed you all day.”

“I’m here now, my sweet, sweet girl.” He trailed kisses along my face. “Just relax now; let me love you.”

It sounded like a dream after the disaster of my lack of accommodations today, and with him hovering over me, I sank into his sheets blissfully, awaiting his comfort and warmth to envelop me.

He removed his clothes, taking tender care of undressing me, and with our bodies flush, he stroked himself against my thigh as he prepared himself for me, his other hand prepping me with his skilled fingers.

I arched my back with several light moans, my chest heaving as I looked at him with dewy eyes.

It took him a few minutes to stroke himself to his full length, and by that time, I was prepped and ready for him. I realized his concern was the reasoning behind his few minutes of preparation, and I was quick to reassure him, “I want this. I wouldn’t say otherwise. Communication, right? It wouldn’t be fair to you, especially with this. Something so…intimate and special. That’s why I want it,” I reiterated with a blush. “Please.”

His features loosened, and he exhaled kisses into my hair. “Then you’ll have it.”

Pushing into me inch by inch, I was experiencing open-mouthed pleasure by the time he bottomed out. He continued pressing kisses along every part of me from my collarbones to my chin and lips. His fingers threaded through my hair as he thrust into me gently, keeping our bodies as close as they could be.

It was perfect—just what I needed—and my moans were muffled by his shoulder as I pushed my face forward to delve into his warmth.

He was so warm, all of him was, and he was throbbing within me, twitching as I wrapped around him.

“Hoseok,” I moaned, tears springing to my eyes.

He heard the break in my voice and eased my face out into the open, checking my features quickly as he stilled within me. “I’m here, Faeryn. Talk to me.”

“So good,” I managed.

He relaxed and peppered me with kisses. “Good, sweetheart. Keep communicating with me.”

I clung to him as he resumed our love making, and when tears of relief and pleasure streamed down my cheeks, he kissed them away, holding my hips in place as he swiveled his slowly to find my favorite spots.

Unraveling beneath him while his body heated mine from the inside out was incredible, and my tears quickened, quiet and steady. It’s what I had been longing for all day; this level of closeness to comfort me. To remind me that I was loved amid the difficulty of today and what felt like an endless gap between my men and me when I couldn’t locate them during the festivities.

But Hoseok was here now, and I was so relieved that I could barely breathe.

My tears fell as bliss poured over me, my expression relaxing with pleasure and peace as Hoseok murmured praise and comfort.

“Look at my pretty girl,” he murmured, his thumb caressing my hip bone. “Right where she feels nice and safe and loved. Because that’s what she is, isn’t she? Nice and safe and loved.”

“Yes, yes,” I chanted, beside myself with what he evoked from me. “I love you, Hobi, I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He kissed the bridge between my breasts, kissing each nipple and paying special attention to them as his free hand toyed with my clit. “I love you so very much. You know I’ll do anything for you. Do you know that? You mean so much to me; you mean everything.”

I whined, his words sending jolts of adoration and safety coursing through me. “I—I would do anything for you.”

“So sweet,” he praised, patting my clit lightly before alternating light rubs and taps. “Oh, this was what you needed today, wasn’t it?” he asked when he saw how my lips parted with ecstasy. “You needed one of us to fill you up, remind you of how much we love you.” He spoke against my cheek, “We’ll always have time for you, I need you to know that. Next time, you come find one of us. We’ll stop what we’re doing and take care of you.”

I shivered my appreciation, nodding rapidly as I lifted my hips to cause him to sink further into me.

“There you are,” he commended, his voice tainted with pleasure. “So good for me. Always so good, and look at how precious you are clinging to me like you can’t get enough.”

“I can’t,” I attested breathlessly. “I need you all the time.”

“Then you know what to do.” He pressed love bites to my collarbones. “You know where to find me and what to do if you can’t. Hm? Tell me what you’ll do.”

“Find you if I can,” I panted. “Or text or call you if I can’t.”

“That’s right.” He rewarded me with quick circles around my clit, making me cry out when he slowed and resumed a slower pace. “You’ll come and find me or one of the others.” His lips trailed to my ears to rasp, “However many of us you need, even if it’s all of us.”

I whined, squirming as his slow thrusts drove me closer to the edge. “I will, I—I promise.”

“You’re almost there, aren’t you?” He sighed his pleasure, caressing my waist and easing me deeper into his sheets. “Clenching so prettily around me, asking me to help you come without saying a word. How sweet are you? How beautiful?”

My lower lip jutted out as the sensations washed over me, his words making me feel so loved. So seen.

“So sweet,” he answered in my place, the adoration in his eyes mixed with his pleasure, making me dizzy with arousal. “So beautiful. The very most beautiful woman.”

He spoke of his love for me into my skin until I was sure the words were engraved in lettering, never letting me forget, and I came undone on his cock, writhing as it took the last of my energy.

He came soon after, pulling out and stroking himself to finish on my stomach, breathing heavily as he watched me enjoy my high.

Blissed out and in love, I reached for him, pushing our lips together for a drawn-out kiss. We shared oxygen as our bodies melded back together, kissing until we were panting and our lips were lightly bruised.

“Thank you,” I managed as we came up for air, my tears drying on my cheeks. My body stammered and shuddered with relief. “Thank you.”

He kissed my tear-stained cheeks. “Thank you.”

He stayed with me, telling me how much I meant to him and how much he adored and loved me to keep me from falling into dysphoria, watching me extra closely to ensure I didn’t dip.

“How do you feel?” he asked softly.

“Sticky,” I told him, smiling drowsily at him, although the action was hard.

“You look tired,” he murmured. “Are you okay if I grab a towel from my suitcase to clean you off? I’ll go into the bathroom to wet it and come right back, or do you want me to take you with me?”

“Take me with you,” I whispered, already lifting my arms in response.

He lifted me gingerly, letting me lock my legs around his waist as he took me to his adjoining bathroom. Setting me on the sink countertop after placing a towel beneath me to keep me from being shocked by the cold, he gently spread my legs and wiped me down before reaching my stomach.

“There we go.” His soft voice lulled me closer to him until my hands were curled to where my face nestled into his chest. “Getting all clean.”

He topped off the thorough cleaning with kisses, ensuring I felt clean before patting me dry, and back in his bed, he dressed me in my pajamas before doing the same for himself, smiling fondly when I tried to help him. My fingers kept slipping with exhaustion, but my smile wasn’t as hard to come by as before he cleaned me up.

“Feel better,” I told him as he hugged me beneath the blankets, tucking me close to him but keeping my face in his view to keep an eye on me.

“That makes me so happy to hear,” he responded, gently wiping beneath my eyes. “Your eyes are a little swollen from crying.” His eyes flickered to mine. “Do you want a cold compress?”

“I just want you.”

“Tomorrow we’ll get one for you,” he decided, his fingers leaving beneath my eyes to curl into my hair. “Okay? We don’t want your eyes to hurt all day.”

“Okay,” I agreed, breathing easily as he massaged my neck and shoulders. “Best.”

He smiled tenderly. “Best?”

“You’re the best,” I said through a yawn, offering a half-smile.

He kissed the corner of my mouth before pressing his lips fully against mine. “We’ll make sure we’re nearby anywhere you are in the house tomorrow, all right? We should’ve done the same today.”

“No,” I protested, suddenly struck with the notion he was blaming himself for my reaction to today. “I told you all I was okay to be alone. You stayed until you ensured I was.”

“We’ll be more watchful tomorrow,” he said in response, cupping the side of my face lightly. “And like we talked about earlier, you’ll accommodate yourself.”

“I will,” I promised him. “I…I should’ve done it today.”

“There’s no need to feel guilty or bad about it; today’s over, and tomorrow will feel better when you’re accommodated.”

I looked at him gratefully. “Thank you. I…I forget to take care of myself sometimes. It’s like…I don’t know. I forget I’m disabled sometimes.”

“Do you?”

“I know I’m Autistic, I don’t forget, but sometimes I forget it’s a disability until I feel…disabled.”

He nodded, showing his understanding. “It hits you sometimes out of nowhere.”

“Yes,” I agreed, relieved he understood. “I know I prefer earplugs and sunglasses, and I shut down in loud settings, but sometimes, I forget I need them. It’s not just a preference. And that makes me feel…well, it makes me feel a lot of things, but it makes me feel disabled when I can’t move because I didn’t accommodate myself.”

“Which is why accommodations are important,” he reminded me gently. “We all need them, but certain people need them more, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Those who have a problem with it are what’s wrong, not the people who need accommodations to live in safety and a better state of mind.”

“Thank you,” I whispered fervently. “You always understand.”

“I’m glad I do,” he returned in the same tone. “You deserve understanding; you deserve to feel and be seen.”

“Everyone does,” I confirmed.

“Everyone does,” he attested.

I sighed contentedly. “I feel better.”

He smiled when I did. “I love you.”

My sleepy features brightened. “I love when you say you love me.” I kissed him, too tired to deepen, but he appreciated it all the same. “I love you so much, Hobi.”

“And I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“Tomorrow,” I said, nestled back into his neck, “I can’t wait to properly meet your parents when I accommodate myself. I’ll be able to focus.”

He rubbed my back gently. “They’ll love you.”

“And I’ll love them.” I kissed his neck tiredly, sated from our love-making. “It’ll be easy to love each other when we love the same person; you.”

I heard his smile. “Sweet girl.”

I fell asleep with his arms around me, my face tucked safely in his neck and my body pressed against his, feeling ready to face the world in the morning.

Notes:

A sweet ending sighhhh 🥹😢😞

Chapter 50: Jungkook, Namjoon, Taehyung

Summary:

*WEEKLY BONUS CHAPTER*
A look into Jungkook, Namjoon, and Taehyung's lives before they met Faeryn and after they met her.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Jungkook had never been overly fond of conflict, so when his Jin hyung set him with a steely look, he shrank back, hiding his paint-speckled hands.

Jin didn't bother asking what had occurred; he was well aware and peeved. His stern silence gave Jungkook room to confess, "I was bored."

Jin wasn't impressed.

Jungkook pushed one sock-padded foot onto the other. "It's bland. Now it's not."

Jin's jaw ticked. "Was that your sole decision to make?"

Jungkook sighed. "No, but hyung, look. It's not as bland anymore."

Jin's hard stare didn't falter. "And you; are you less bored?"

Jungkook shrugged, averting eye contact. "No."

"Then no one benefited from this."

Jungkook was already upset; he had a long day at work and couldn't figure out how to switch from work mode to relaxation mode. He thought painting would help, but looking at the flowers he painted on the kitchen table only made him feel worse.

His eyes burned with tears. "Then take it off."

"It isn't mine to remove," was Jin's disapproving response, but the sight of Jungkook's tears earned his watchful gaze.

Namjoon entered the kitchen in search of a drink, stopping when he viewed the building tension between Jin and Jungkook. Pushing his hands into his hoodie pockets, he stopped beside Jungkook and glanced at Jin for answers. Before that could happen, he noted the flowers on the table and Jungkook's hidden hands.

Namjoon rubbed Jungkook's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. "If it's a big deal," he spoke into the tense silence, "we can paint over it, and we'll get a bigger canvas for you, bub."

Namjoon's reassuring touch after an entire day without it thanks to conflicting schedules made Jungkook want to cry more than he already did. He pushed away from the situation, finding it easier to hide his feelings instead of letting them bring possible conflict that he couldn't handle, and went to his room.

Namjoon let him go, waiting until he was out of earshot before lifting a questioning brow.

Jin folded his arms across his chest. "He can't paint furniture."

"But he did."

Jin ran a tired hand over his face. "I'm well aware, Namjoon."

"He's tired and stressed—we all are. He was looking for an outlet."

"He has canvases."

"He needed something bigger."

"Yeah?" Jin's tone was sharp. "Did you ask him that before or after he painted on the kitchen table I purchased?'

"We're preparing for a comeback." Namjoon's voice was level. Steady. "We're all on edge."

Jin looked at the flowers. Pinched his brows between his thumb and middle finger. "Talk to him."

"I already did; he'll get a bigger canvas."

"No." Jin's long strides carried him out of the kitchen. "There's something more than exhaustion going on with him."

Namjoon gave Jungkook an hour to calm down before knocking on his door and entering when entry was allowed.

Sitting on Jungkook's bed, he noticed the cluttered room as he gathered Jungkook into his arms, allowing the younger enough comfort to cry.

During his hour alone, Jungkook had tried to occupy his mind but ended up scrolling through his phone miserably. He wanted to relax, paint, play his favorite video games and watch TV, but he couldn't do it, and he didn't understand why. This happened often, but with the stress of the comeback, everything felt worse.

Namjoon was Jungkook's everything. Before him, there had been a high school crush, but Namjoon was more than a crush. Namjoon was Jungkook's boyfriend; his whole world.

That's why Jungkook felt horrible for crying in his arms. He wanted to be better for him, stronger. But he was exhausted.

He and Namjoon talked once the latter calmed Jungkook's tears, and they came to the conclusion that Jungkook needed a doctor's visit. The visit turned into a psych referral, and Jungkook ended up diagnosed with ADHD.

The process was painfully insightful, and he thankfully found meds that worked well for him within the second month of trial and error.

He felt like he could do things again, and even though the comeback preparations overwhelmed him, half of his ADHD med would help his brain calm enough to sleep. He'd found a sweet spot, and he clung to it with drowsy eyes that slowly regained their lighting until people came and stole it away.

His new management was kind at first; his old management's contract had ended, it was only temporary, so he didn't think too much of the new management. He was polite and bowed in greeting, and since the meeting day, his management team was just that, but slowly, they inched his way deeper into his life; all three of them. The three men took an avid interest in Jungkook, asked questions about his ADHD when they saw him take his meds one day at work when he forgot to at home, and bought him his favorite snacks.

Jungkook's last management team worked aloofly, but this new management team seemed to like him, and it surprised him. He had his hyungs, but it was difficult for him to make friends. He was more on the shy side and stuck close to his hyungs—who he secretly admired and looked up to so much—but his new management made him feel like maybe he could make friends. That he was likeable.

But that changed when the teasing turned into taunting, when the hair ruffling turned into hair pulling, and the smiles turned into smirks. It happened so quickly that Jungkook felt whiplashed, unable to process it and wondering what he'd done wrong. When he gathered the courage to ask his management—who he'd begun to consider his new friends—they told him he was too childish and getting to know him made it evident.

Jungkook was ashamed, and their taunting continued mixed with their mocking teachings of how he could be less childish. No more video games, no more ADHD meds since ADHD was just for kids, no more hair clips in his hair—he loved expressing himself with them—and dark clothes only. 

His colorful clothing sat in the back of his bedroom closet, and he would stare at them sometimes before slowly closing the door and dressing in a black shirt and pants. It was better, he thought. He needed to stop being childish. Namjoon wouldn't be with someone who was childish. After all, his management said so.

He tried his best to act more mature, laugh less, stop showing his bunny smile, and sit as straight as possible until his spine ached. He grew quieter, told less jokes, and stopped painting. 

Jin asked him one day if he would like to add vines to the flowers on the table, and Jungkook felt like it was a peace offering to how the older originally reacted, but he couldn't find it in himself to pick up a paint brush. He shook his head and mutely walked away, neglecting dinner and everyone at the table.

Jin looked after him before turning to Namjoon. "Something's going on with him."

Namjoon watched Jungkook's retreating figure, feeling his chest pull at the younger boy's taut, depleated features and stance. That was his love walking away from him and their friends after a long day of not seeing other during work, and he knew how much Jungkook enjoyed talking about his day with his hyungs. He thrived off the attention and affection, but he'd been so withdrawn lately. Namjoon couldn't pin-point why, but his usual stance of giving Jungkook space until he was ready to come to him fell away due to worry.

Namjoon brought dinner to Jungkook, and the two ate in silence until Namjoon tugged Jungkook between his thighs on the floor, leaning comfortably against the end of the bed.

Jungkook tensed, but when Namjoon squeezed his thigh reassuringly and kissed the top of his head, the affection won him over like Namjoon knew it would, and Jungkook eased into him, beginning to eat his dinner. 

Namjoon thought the comfort would open Jungkook up more, but Jungkook remained quiet and gave incoherent responses, his mind elsewhere.

"Bub." Namjoon nudged his lips against his cheek. "Where are you?"

"Here." Jungkook sounded small. Distant. 

"Are you?" Namjoon grasped his chin and turned it to him, frowning when he viewed Jungkook's lost expression. "You're here with me right now?"

"Yes." Jungkook sounded robotic.

Namjoon's frown deepened. "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Namjoon curled his fingers through Jungkook's hair, exhaling deeply. "How about a bath? You and me, hm? We can add your favorite green bath bomb and bubble bath."

Something in Jungkook snapped. "Bubble bath?!" His eyes lit with fury, a hint of sadness evoking watery features. "I'm not a child!"

Namjoon blinked. "I didn't say you were."

"Bubble baths are for children!" Jungkook blazed with anger, and he ripped away from Namjoon, causing their food to fall. He froze, chest heaving, and a hint of fear slammed into his anger. Dropping to his knees, he began to clean up, but Namjoon gently pushed his hands away, telling him, "I'll clean it up. It's okay."

"No," Jungkook snapped, shoving Namjoon's hands away. "I'm not a child you have to clean up after. I can do it."

At a loss for words, Namjoon sat back. "I know you're not a child."

Jungkook only made the mess worse, rubbing sauce into the carpet. His eyes burned, and humiliated, he could barely breathe.

"Adults take baths," Namjoon's voice cut through Jungkook's inward berating. "There's no age limit to enjoying water."

"Bubble baths are for—"

"There's no age limit for bubbles."

Jungkook paused, glared, and gave up on cleaning. "So childish," he muttered peevishly, and left Namjoon's room and head a mess.

Namjoon debated following after him, but seeing the ruckus he'd unknowingly created, he thought against it and stood to properly clean the carpet.

Things only became worse from there. Jungkook iced Namjoon out, and weeks turned into months of cold silence between the two lovers. His hyungs even received the cold shoulder.

He was sporadic, his eyes glued to his phone to earn any sense of pleasure through short, funny or cute videos—his mind was desperately craving the instant dopamine—but as instant as it came, it left in the same manner, making him feel empty without his usual hobbies and hyungs.

He cried often, his managers' cruel words circulating in his head as the awful truth. They began hitting him on top of verbally abusing him, but Jungkook felt like he deserved it. It would toughen him up, he reasoned. Good hyungs toughen others up, that's how it worked. Although, he missed the kindness from his hyungs. He thought they were good, but his management said they weren't. This was hard for Jungkook to believe, so they switched the narrative. They told him if he didn't adult enough and stop being a blubbering child, his hyungs would leave and cut him from the band—even his beloved Namjoon hyung.

This tore Jungkook's heart to shreds, and a day didn't go by when his eyes weren't puffy and swollen from a lack of sleep and tears. 

His mind was muddled, full of videos on social media, he wasn't eating or drinking properly, and he would yell at his hyungs when they tried to make him feel better. How could they locate his favorite action figures he collected and bribe him with them, thinking it would make him smile as if he were a child? It was too horrible to fathom, and he screamed at them until his throat was raw.

"Enough!" Jin's voice echoed through the living room. Taehyung slowly backed away with Jungkook's action figures, uncomfortable and confused. "Jeon Jungkook, you will apologize this instant."

"You can't make—"

"Do not bribe me."

Jungkook's eyes widened at Jin's stern tone, and when his surprise kept him still and quiet, Jin stepped forward. The sudden action and stern expression caused Jungkook to flinch and back up quickly enough to trip over a blanket and land harshly on his bottom. Tears welled in his eyes—he hated how easily they arrived—but he tried to keep them away. He tried to front as the adult he needed to be—the adult his hyungs would love and keep in the band.

Namjoon wasn't sure what was occurring, but the fear sketched on Jungkook's face made him step forward and put a halt to Jin's scolding.

"Let's take a break," Namjoon instructed, giving Jin a meaningful look. 

Jin no longer looked like he wanted to scold Jungkook, however. His usual stern front was wavering just as Jungkook's will was, replaced with concern he didn't often show.

Jungkook tried to stand, but his ankle was tangled in the blanket, so he fell again. It was the final sting of humiliation that sent tears streaming down his cheeks. 

He was pathetic, stupid, weird, and annoying, and his hyungs hated him—

Namjoon held his hand out to him. "It's okay," he murmured. His voice was so soft, so loving. Jungkook looked at him through his tears, unable to do much else. Oh, how he missed and longed for his Namjoon hyung; his whole world. "Come with me."

And Jungkook wanted nothing more, but he couldn't give into comfort. Only children needed comfort when they fell, and Jungkook was not a child. He was an adult—a man—and men never cried. It was weak. Pathetic.

Namjoon stepped forward slowly when Jungkook didn't move, but it set Jungkook into action, scrambling out of the blanket and racing to his room to try to stop crying in privacy. Namjoon went after him, feeling rising frustrating. He knew he was being shut out, and the lack of communication upset him. Nothing upset him more than knowing Jungkook was in pain, and he wasn't letting Namjoon help make it better. It's all Namjoon wanted to do when Jungkook was hurt either from a dance injury or if his feelings were hurt by rude fan comments. No matter what injury, inward or external, Namjoon wanted to help.

But Jungkook wasn't letting Namjoon help.

Namjoon knocked on the door, but Jungkook wouldn't open it, his stifled sobs from his pillow muffled and nearly suffocating him, but he had to learn to grow up—be a real man. Namjoon wouldn't want to be with him otherwise—his management said so, and Jungkook's fragile headspace believed them.

Namjoon stayed behind Jungkook's door, sitting against it as an hour passed. Until finally, Jungkook left his room for the bathroom, jolting when he realized Namjoon was present. Before he could reclose his door, Namjoon was up and inside, tugging Jungkook after him and locking the door.

Jungkook struggled to get away, but Namjoon held him, refusing to let him go. It was only when Jungkook's voice broke when he pleaded, "Please" did Namjoon release him. He was torn; he would do anything Jungkook asked, but this was torture.

It was torture for them both. All Jungkook wanted was to bury himself in Namjoon's arms, hold him and be held, talk and laugh and giggle about anything, especially his special interests, but special was another word for weird. His management said so.

Namjoon left his room, and a new rift was opened between the two lovers. Jungkook felt it rip open and drag until he would need a bridge to cross it. His management was right; Namjoon was going to leave him. He hadn't been enough of a real man, and he was paying the consequences.

A few more weeks passed, and during an exceptionally difficult dance choreo for a solo song Jungkook was planning to release for their upcoming album, he kept failing due to exhaustion. His limbs wouldn't listen to him, so his management decided to "train" them. Kicks and hits and punches to each flailing limb until Jungkook nearly passed out, little gasps leaving him as he curled into himself to try and shield the blows. They ripped his hands away, laughing and mocking him. Telling him to man up.

Jungkook hurt so much when they left him in a heap on the floor, his song blasting from the speakers on repeat to drown out his anguished sobs.

He was so tired, more than he'd ever been, and he already knew his hyungs would leave him. He knew that. So although his management said explaining what they did to him would be childish and considered tattling, making his hyungs leave, he didn't have it in himself not to do it.

He left the room limping, his lip torn and his face bruised. He could blame it on practice like he usually did—a bad fall—but he wouldn't today.

He didn't expect someone else to be in the elevator; it was usually empty during this time, but one of his staff was there, looking at his phone. Jaehyun. He looked up as Jungkook approached, a greeting dissipating on his tongue when he saw the state he was in.

"Shit." He stepped forward just in time to catch Jungkook, keeping him steady and pulling him inside as the elevator doors closed. "Jungkook, what the hell happened? Did this happen in practice? Again? Shit, shit. You have to be careful; this looks painful."

It was painful, and Jungkook couldn't stop himself from admitting it, even if it wasn't a manly things to do. Even if it made him childish. He knew he wasn't strong; he knew that. So with a wobbling chin and quivering eyes, he rasped with difficulty, "I want my hyung."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get you there. Which hyung? A couple of them are on different schedules today, but—"

"Joon hyung."

"Yeah, okay, he's on the tenth floor in the studio."

Jaehyun helped Jungkook walk the entire way, letting the latter lean on him as much as he needed to. When Jaehyun knocked, Namjoon's approaching footsteps made Jungkook's heart jump into his throat. This would be the final time he and his hyung would be boyfriends. Namjoon wouldn't love him anymore.

But as soon as Namjoon opened the door, worry and alarm flashed in his eyes, and he sent a questioning look to Jaehyun before carefully pulling Jungkook to him and putting his full attention on him. Soft, soothing words, and when he realized Jungkook could barely walk, he gingerly lifted him like Jungkook weighed nothing at all, sitting on the couch and setting him right on his lap. 

Jaehyun entered the room and closed the door, and Namjoon was too involved in checking on Jungkook to ask for privacy. He needed Jaehyun around as it was; he needed to know if he had answers for Jungkook's current state.

Jungkook bit his busted lip, trying to use the pain to ground himself and prevent tears, but Namjoon soothed his lip away from his teeth, pressing a gentle kiss to the area.

Jungkook didn't understand the affection, but he wanted it just the same. He leaned into it, ravenous for it after months of starvation, and Namjoon realized this, pressing kisses around his wounded face while murmuring comfort and gently caressing his body.

The sitting position quickly made Jungkook's wounded legs hurt, and he croaked out the information. Namjoon flew into action and sat him sideways on his lap instead, asking, "How did this happen? Where do your legs hurt?"

Jungkook burst into tears. "Hyung."

"Yes?" Namjoon breathed out, his worry accelerating at an alarming rate. "I'm here. I'm right here, Jungkook. Talk to me." He rested his forehead against Jungkook's, cupping his face in his hands. "Talk to hyung."

And Jungkook did, unraveling as he sobbed what his management told him and did to him, stammering over his fear and hating on himself for not being good enough to stay in the band and be Namjoon's boyfriend.

Namjoon went very still, and his eyes slowly flickered to Jaehyun.

"Third floor," Jaehyun stated, giving away Jungkook's management's location.

Namjoon was loathe to leave Jungkook, but he was loathe to let his management get away with the abuse they'd inflicted on his boyfriend.

"Stay with him," he ordered Jaehyun, carefully sitting Jungkook on the couch. His voice softened slightly toward Jungkook, but it shook with anger. "I'll be right back. Stay with Jaehyun."

"Hyung," Jungkook began, frightened.

"Hyung will take care of it." He kissed his forehead firmly. "I love you."

And he was gone, leaving Jungkook and Jaehyun to look after him. The latter was hesitant, and after a moment, he grabbed his phone and texted rapidly. A ping came in quickly, and barely a minute later, Taehyung appeared out of breath and frazzled.

"I'm here!" He burst through the doors, looking around anxiously. "What's the emergency? Where's Jungkook?" He found him quickly, and when he saw his tears and tremors, he hurried to him. "Hey. Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" His eyes widened when he noted the copious amounts of bruises. "Jungkook?"

Jaehyun was gone, leaving the two of them be now that he was assured Jungkook was in good hands.

He left hurriedly after Namjoon, beelining it to the third floor as he called for backup. Namjoon was tall, buff, and strong, but above all else, someone he loved had been hurt. He was infuriated, and he wouldn't be stopped.

Namjoon's management met Jaehyun in the elevators, and they all hurried to the tenth floor after paging security. 

Namjoon had already busied himself with two out of three of Jungkook's management; the third was a coward and left with a bruised eye while Namjoon forcefully brought the others to their knees and shoved them back hard enough for their heads to bounce on the wooden floor.

He didn't stop. After all, they hadn't stopped with Jungkook. It was only fair they received the same treatment.

It took Jaehyun, security, and Namjoon's management to pull Namjoon away from the two men. His fists were bloody, his eyes were sharp and irate, and his mind spun with anger.

The men coughed and claimed their innocence, but Jaehyun shut them up with a snappish, "The rehearsal room has cameras. Leave it for the court room."

Namjoon couldn't ground himself; he could barely take a deep breath. Anger clouded his mind and emotions, making it hard to see properly, but when the familiar sound of footsteps sounded, he turned and—

There he was. His Jungkook.

His boyfriend looked scared, and the left side of his body sagged with pain, and Namjoon was up again, hurrying to tend to him. His bloodied hands were careful with Jungkook, checking to see where he was in pain and demanding someone called for a doctor.

Jungkook's left ankle was sprained, and his shoulder had been dislocated, but it was popped back in, and he was taken to the hospital for treatment. In the hospital with bright lighting and a clean chemical smell, he told Namjoon everything. He communicated, and Namjoon listened. 

Namjoon was angry, but he was relieved. It was over; his Jungkook was safe and had returned to him. Justice would be served; Namjoon would ensure it.

HYBE's lawyers won against Jungkook's management, and with therapy, time, and his hyung's gracious support after how he'd treated them, he slowly began to heal. He ate more, returned to taking his meds, and eased back into his special interests. 

It took a long time for him to wear more colorful clothing, and they remained in the back of his closet until one night, he braved his silk pink pajamas. Namjoon took one look at him, swept him into his arms, and the time they had countered the lingering concept that colors were bad.

He wore his pajamas more often, but wearing color was a rare occasion for him now. It felt scary. But he tried little by little, wearing them sparingly—colorful socks or a colorful beanie—at home, never outside.

So when he was eating BBQ one night and Taehyung and Hoseok entered with a woman his age, he froze. The flowers painted the table—Jin had since grown very protective of them, demanding no one use the table cloth to cover them—he wore a light blue shirt, and he had a silly cat and dog video on his phone he was showing Yoongi. He was encompassing everything his management claimed was childish.

The woman's eyes skimmed his, but she didn't hold eye contact, looking from him to Yoongi and back at Taehyung when he offered bathroom directions. Once she disappeared, Jungkook fretted, asking why she was here, who she was, and why she was in their home—the only place he could be any bit of himself.

"She's being hurt," Taehyung said.

But Jungkook was scared she would hurt him. She was a stranger just like his old management used to be, and he vowed not to trust her. He vowed not to be hurt again. Maybe new friends weren't possible for him, so while she ate and finished her serving of food and received a BBQ plate, he watched her wearily, trying to gauge who she was.

She talked about things she liked without being prompted like their bathroom, food, and drinks. She seemed nervous, but Jungkook didn't care. He was more nervous than she was, he thought. If he let his guard down, she would hurt him, and her facade of nerves would disappear.

But the days passed. She watched shows he thought were meant for children, and they intrigued him. They were fun and colorful, and the characters had so much growth and in-depth storylines. He couldn't help himself from sitting on the floor to watch, and when she sat with him, he was too into the show to be as weary as he swore to be. 

When he giggled, he couldn't stop. It had been so long since he laughed for so long and so hard, and when she laughed with him instead of making fun of him for finding enjoyment in simple things that didn't contain blood, gore, and sexual themes—what his manage said all adults needed to watch—he began to hope she wasn't someone who laughed at others for that kind of thing.

Hope was dangerous; he had hoped once, but this woman—Faeryn—crocheted beautiful things, accommodated herself, and when she caught him taking ADHD meds, she was confused as to why he thought she would laugh at him.

They had a show—their show. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It became his special interest, and he rambled on and on to his hyungs, only quiet about it when it was on TV with Faeryn seated beside him. She even took time out of her night routine to watch it with him when she was going  to take a bath. His management never took time out of their schedule to be kind to him.

Faeryn just seemed like the kind of person who gave kindness out freely, like it didn't hurt her to do so. Like it only nourished her as much as it nourished the receiver. It confused him, but it calmed him, too. 

His hope began to grow, and he hung around her more, shared his protein shakes, had lunch with her at HYBE with Taehyung—sometimes even Jimin—showed her his favorite cat and dog videos, and when she saw him in his pink pajamas he wore by accident, she loved them. She even kissed him.

He and Namjoon spoke about her in a certain way after a month of her living with them as if she was a part of their duo, and Jungkook was surprised he didn't hate it and wasn't overly possessive of his hyung. But Faeryn was so different; she was so kind and loving. She understood him in ways no one really had before. She was neurodivergent just like him, and when they kissed for the first time and every time after that, he felt like he was soaring.

Faeryn made life colorful, so perhaps colors weren't bad, Jungkook thought. Perhaps colors were just colors, bright or dark, and perhaps he should wear them again. 

His hope blossomed into something beautiful; his relationship with Faeryn. The courage to find himself again when Faeryn talked freely of her special interests that others might consider childish, but he thought there might be no such thing as childish things. Maybe there was childish, immature behavior, but action figures, stuffed animals, cartoons—who claimed them for children only? If they brought adults happiness and smiles, why were they childish? Why were they frowned upon? 

Animation was beautiful, admiring his action figures was beautiful, wearing his hairclips again was beautiful, watching Taehyung and Faeryn crochet stuffed animals while he watched TV was beautiful, and playing video games again was beautiful. Finding himself again, not caring so much about what others thought, and enjoying "childish" things was beautiful because he felt free. He wasn't hurting anyone by enjoying his interests, not like his old management had hurt him.

His hyungs reminded him of that, but Faeryn? Faeryn was a living, breathing reminder to love what you love as long as it's not hurting anyone. 

Faeryn didn't just help him find color again.

Faeryn helped him live in color again.

So maybe, he concurred, letting someone in even if you're afraid of being hurt like before is an okay risk to take. 

Faeryn was worth the risk—and she always would be.

***

Ever since the month-long horrors Jungkook experienced, Namjoon learned everything he could about trauma responses, how to be a better partner, and what method of communication worked best with Jungkook. It took trial and error, but they found their sweet spot. They took turns communicating, no one spoke over the other, and they could speak about facts and feelings—as long as they claimed it as such.

Therapy taught Jungkook how to communicate what he was afraid of, helped him process what happened to him, and during this time, Namjoon learned with him. The duo worked together, learning and unlearning coping methods, communication skills, and how effective/comforting being together in silence could be when they were too exhausted to speak. Being in each other's arms was enough.

They made so much progress—which is why Namjoon was against the woman who appeared unannounced one day in their kitchen. Taehyung appeared shortly after to explain, and although Jin agreed on this woman—Faeryn—living with them temporarily, Namjoon was weary.

A stranger in their home; a stranger who could be a threat to Jungkook's slow-building safety and normality.

But Faeryn wasn't who he thought she was. She slept in a park instead of pressing what she thought was Jin's boundary; she couldn't stay after her friend Lyric returned. Taehyung was up all night fretting over his new-found friend, and Namjoon had to hear him panic until morning.

When Namjoon found Faeryn in the breakroom sleeping, he couldn't veil his agitation, but when she immediately started crying when he took her to Hoseok and Yoongi, his agitation wavered.

She was scared. Tired. And he had been curt and rough with her.

He regretted it, and when she returned to their home, he began asking questions, attempting to learn more about her to not only ensure Jungkook's safety was first, but to get to know her. To let her know that by asking questions, he wasn't a threat to her. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt like he needed to ensure she was safe, but the feeling didn't leave. It only grew with time alongside something else.

Seeing Jungkook open up each day with Faeryn around, giggling and coming back to himself, did something for Namjoon. It brought him immense relief, happiness, and gratitude. Jungkook had grown close to Jaehyun after what happened with his management, the latter always around to tease light-hearted jokes until he evoked a small smile from Jungkook, but Jungkook's smiles were no longer small around Faeryn. They were big and bursting, and Jungkook was—Namjoon couldn't quite believe it after so long—happy. Jungkook was happy, and Faeryn was a huge factor in that.

Faeryn reminded him of Jungkook in certain ways, so when she revealed she was AuDHD, he wasn't surprised. It was enlightening, but not surprising. He felt special that she trusted him, shook his hand and made a deal with him that he wouldn't laugh. He tried to be nonchalant, playing up his IQ for knowing certain things, but it was because of his extensive trauma research for Jungkook's sake. In that moment, seeing how relieved Faeryn was to be understood, he promised himself he would be knowledgeable about such topics not only for Jungkook and Faeryn, but for others, too. He never wanted anyone to feel like Jungkook and Faeryn had.

He wasn't sure when it became Jungkook and Faeryn.

Shopping in the grocery store and grabbing two protein shakes instead of one, ensuring two seats of his car were clear of any musical equipment, texting two people good morning, and feeling impossibly content when he saw them giggling and enjoying time together. It was even better when they heard his step, familiar now to both of them, and they'd brighten and happily tell him to stay.

He wasn't sure when it went from caring about one person to two, but perhaps it was when Faeryn was sick in the bathtub, questioning what she meant to him—to them.

He told her she would visit everyday—because he thought it was too early to tell her to stay with them, knowing she might need to live on her own to recapture the independence Ryker stole. He didn't want to interfere with her healing journey, so he held her face in the tub and told her she would come over every day, and when she took him up on it, he was relieved to have her around as often as before.

He did, however, miss her at night. Missed her soft padding as she sleepily went to use the bathroom, lingering outside his door to listen to his book's pages rustling for comfort before returning to her room.

He and Jungkook talked about it, about how much she meant to them. It was easy to talk about her; the words flowed from them until it ended with them tangled in the sheets with heavy groans and breathy pants.

Their duo had unknowingly become a trio, and everyone involved was for it.

It felt like a dream to have two people he cherished so deeply to fawn over, care for, hold, enjoy, and love.

And Faeryn. She immensely enjoyed how rough he was during sex, something Jungkook only enjoyed occasionally—which Namjoon was perfectly fine with—but seeing Faeryn drink up the rough yet tender attention unraveled him. And when he enjoyed Jungkook and Faeryn together? He barely kept himself together.

He felt like the luckiest man to exist.

Seeing her with the others, hearing about their experiences, talking about her like the most precious, darling woman they had the pleasure of knowing and having—because she trusted them enough to. It filled them with pride and awe, and he knew they would do anything for her. It was blatant in their expressions, tone of voice, and words they spoke. Even during sensual talk of her, they were reverent. She was everything.

So when Namjoon was inside of her for the first time, feeling her clench around him with her breathy giggles of pleasure, he almost came undone right then and there, but her pleasure was at the forefront of his mind. He wanted to drag it out for as long as possible, edge himself as much as he edged her, and when it was over and they toyed with each other's fingers in the bath, she traced his palms and confessed her love—for him.

It floored him to hear the words from her. He never expected to love someone as much as he loved Jungkook, much less alone twice, but he did. And he held her tighter and told her he loved her because it was true in all the ways it could be true.

Nothing had been missing in Namjoon and Jungkook's relationship, they were happy and in love, but Faeryn fit perfectly. They knew they would miss her if she ever were to leave, but her constant wide-eyed reassurance that she wanted forever was touching as much as it was comforting. They all needed to hear it as much as Faeryn did, something she might not have been aware of.

She thought she was lucky to have them, but they were lucky to have her.

She was their light, and finally, they could see.

***

Taehyung knew her first. His crochet teacher, his vending machine partner, his HYBE cafeteria buddy. His Faeryn.

He caught her after she'd spent a night on the streets, took her to his home because he couldn't bear to do otherwise, and quickly developed feelings for her. It was impossible not to. She was kind, funny, and opened his world to so many things he'd never known about before.

She taught him how to crochet, about Autism, sign language, and how to smile when things felt hopeless. Faeryn was a wonder, and she was the wonder of his life.

He was heartbroken when he saw her exit the bathroom with Hoseok and Jungkook, but he was her friend first and foremost, so he resigned himself to that. He would be happy for her and his friends, but then she confessed her feelings for him, and he didn't care who else she liked. She liked him.

He enjoyed seeing her interact with the others, loved seeing how tender they were with caressing and kisses, and he also loved seeing more of a sensual side of it, too. He liked seeing her taken care of, and when he was the one taking care of her? He could barely contain himself. She was stunning, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and watching her succumb to pleasure because of him was incredible.

But most of all, he enjoyed their roots. Their friendship. Crocheting, watching their favorite shows together, laughing and teasing, and falling asleep in bed as if they were having a sleepover. She was his best friend, and it felt strange at first, the feelings growing within him. He had never felt them before, never loved someone as much as he loved her, but he couldn't explain how happy he was that she was his first real love. With their promised forever, she would also be his last.

It was romantic, and he would find himself smiling by himself sometimes or when he was with her, and she would ask him what he was smiling about, but he would respond with a kiss because how could he truly explain the depth of his love for her?

Faeryn was a gift of a person, and he was so grateful they knew each other in the same lifetime.

His best friend, the wondrous love of his life, and—as always—his best crochet buddy.

"Faeryn," he whispered, gently poking her side to check if she was awake.

She jolted up so quickly that he yelped, and she burst into peels of giggles, pointing at him and almost falling off the bed due to laughing too hard. Taehyung caught her before she could fall, tugging him to him and playfully scolding her, soon getting lost in her sparkly eyes full of the laughter surrounding them.

He loved how good she made happiness look. He and Yoongi talked about it before, how Faeryn's happiness was the best kind, and Taehyung melted sitting in front of her. Faeryn tracked the change, her features slightly scrunched as her laughter eased slightly. He could tell she was working hard to distinguish what his expression read, and nudging their noses together, he murmured, "You're so beautiful."

She turned his favorite shade of pink—he called it Faeryn pink, a pretty, dusted pastel skittering along her cheeks.

He cupped her face, and she inhaled sharply, her eyes widening the slightest bit before they closed with anticipation. Taehyung's smile was blossoming, although Faeryn couldn't see it, but she knew she felt it when he kissed her because it drew her smile out to play.

Her giggles returned, and she squealed happily as she threw her arms around Taehyung and shoved him back onto the bed, attacking him with tickles until he was howling with laughter, until their yarn was unraveled and their crochet hooks and markers became tangled in the sheets, and until he returned the favor, gently pressing his hands into her sides to evoke her laughter.

They calmed down, but their happiness didn't. It took them a while to locate their stitch markers and—Taehyung, watch out for the scissors!—but when everything was located, they snuggled in bed and crocheted while a comfort show played.

He still remembered the night she spent on the street, how he panicked all night until he put all of his resources into transforming the guestroom into her room because he knew she'd come back, and she did. He was floored with relief that she was okay, and once she was back home, he eagerly showed her the guest room renovations. He stuttered over his words, and the small crush he had on her grew the longer they spent time together.

He was relieved she was safe, and he was glad she was safe with him in his home with his best friends. It felt right, like the only plausible way her three-month stay could have gone.

He was so glad he not only knew her but was loved by her.

His best friend and lover; his Faeryn.

 

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed the backstory!!! EEEEEE!! I loved writing it. You'll see the backstory of the rest of Faeryn's men on Tuesday, then we're back to our regularly scheduled programming 😋

Chapter 51: Hoseok/Jimin/Yoongi/Jin

Summary:

A look into Hoseok, Jimin's, Yoongi's, and Jin's lives before and after knowing Faeryn.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Hoseok had seen Faeryn at reception before they were officially introduced, offering a smile and a wave when Jaehyun would do the same. The latter found her amusing and charming, and he would always laugh after Faeryn gave a thumbs-up. Hoseok found it endearing, and his smile softened before he called one last goodbye and left HYBE for the day.

She was always busy at her desk, and he didn't often have reason to be in the lobby during work hours, but during the rare occasion that he did, he hands were busy behind her desk organizing things he couldn't see—later revealed as her dinosaur action figures. Not to be mistaken with paperweights.

He and the others had a tendency to stay off their phones, knowing how tempting it was to scroll through social media and see potential hate comments and rumors, so he didn't receive Taehyung's text, as most of the others didn't—aside from Yoongi who used his phone often for voice memos.

So when Taehyung walked to Faeryn and struck up conversation as if she were his friend, Hoseok walked over curiously, feeling drawn to the woman with tired yet lovely eyes and her go-to thumbs-ups.

He wasn't prepared, however, for the reasoning behind her tired eyes when he read Taehyung's texts. It was a brief rundown of the situation, mainly because Taehyung himself didn't know the entire situation, but it was enough. They had seen what abuse did to Jungkook, and they wouldn't stand for it. And there was something that pulled Hoseok toward Faeryn, so as he reigned his anger back toward whoever left a bruise beneath the soft padding of her eye, he asked her what soda she liked and bought her dinner.

She was sweet, naming things she liked as she sat at their kitchen table for the first time, embarrassed when she realized. Hoseok was quick to reassure her that she could list things she liked, and he enjoyed it when she continued. The mere fact that she was able to list things she liked after being in an abusive situation could have been a coping mechanism, and it was a good one. Hoseok would never make anyone feel bad for that, and he enjoyed how her eyes lit up when she spoke of things she enjoyed.

She would walk around the house quietly as if she was scared to be perceived, jumping and jolting when someone would look her way, and at first, her smiles were so timid as if they were afraid they would be given a reason to disappear.

The first time he saw her smile so widely was when she watched Camp Cretaceous curled up to Jimin one Saturday morning. She had been timid when everyone entered the living room, but she was so drawn to the show that her smile couldn't help but show as she quietly mouthed the character's lines.

She was so sweet and kind, even with what she'd been through, and when she panicked during their first mall outing, Hoseok didn't like his lack of knowledge toward helping her. He had a nagging feeling that she had been helping herself for far too long on her own, and he wanted to relieve some of her stress, so when she told him she was Autistic, he studied up on it religiously. It helped him know more about her, and he realized he wanted to know her.

He had never been into being with more than one person in an official relationship, but Faeryn fit so well with everyone, and when she confessed she liked them, he gave in to his desire and allowed it to sweep through him, leaving him with a divine sense of euphoria. Her lips were as soft as she was, and he knew he was in too deep already, but he didn't want a way out. He wanted more of her.

He had girlfriends before, nothing serious, and mainly in high school before he debuted, but Faeryn was different. Faeryn was intoxicating and beautiful in every way imaginable, and her sweet heart was unfathomably wonderful.

Faeryn was, in simpler terms, the love of his life.

His sweetheart.

Her laugh, her smile, her genuineness, the way she looked at him with big, adoring eyes—the list in Hoseok's mind was endless, but most of all, it was her heart that took hold of him. He saw it before he truly knew her, waving goodbye while she clocked out at the front desk. The eager wave and awkward, shy smile. Her heart shone through her eyes, and she had so much love for the world, even if it didn't love her back.

But Hoseok loved her, and his six friends loved her. He wasn't sure what they had done to deserve her, but they would forever treat her as the queen of their home.

During dance rehearsals, he would think of her, a smile tugging at his lips as the thought of her made the moves easier. Accepting her into his bed during a night she couldn't sleep because she missed him, and talking for hours about everything and anything. Discussing his hopes and dreams for the future with music, the band, and life. Taking her out to coffee shops and going to a nearby park to look at flowers because he knew she would scold him and try to pay him back if he bought her a bouquet (bouquets and scolding were for special occasions only). Simply being with her was far more than enough, whether in conversations or in silence. Faeryn was everything he had ever wanted.

He knew he had been missing something or someone, but his life was busy and tedious enough to distract him from the grueling tug in his chest that there was something more for him. But when Faeryn came into his life with her sweet smiles and shining eyes, it clicked. She was what he had been missing, even if he hadn't fully realized something was missing, because he suddenly felt achingly full of something he wasn't quite sure how to fathom until later.

Love.

He was full of love for her, and without it, there had been an empty space he now knew only she could fill. And she did. She filled it perfectly.

"Sweetheart," he murmured one night, holding her close after he opened his bedroom door and saw her sheepish smile. She missed him, she claimed. And she wasn't warm enough all alone.

"Of course he couldn't keep her all by herself," he'd told her, sweeping her into his arms and smiling when she squealed.

On his bed, she shifted, her cheek adorned with sleep marks from his shirt. She looked at him questioningly.

His lips tugged into a soft, subdued smile. "You're very special to me."

Her features lit up, and she hugged him tightly. "You're very special to me, too."

He rubbed her back, traveling his hands up to clasp the back of her neck. "We should buy you warmer blankets."

She giggled mischievously. "No, I don't think so."

He laughed. "Why don't you think so?"

"Because," she chirped, snuggling closer to him. "Then I couldn't use the same excuse to come and sleep with you."

"You don't need an excuse to sleep with me." He kissed her head repeatedly. "My room is always open to you."

She preened. "Okay." She paused. "Then maybe...we can get warmer blankets."

He chuckled fondly, smitten. "I'll buy you some first thing in the morning. We'll have it delivered by the time we're home from HYBE."

"I'll pay!"

"You won't, but it's very sweet that you asked."

"Hoseok!"

He hid his smile in her hair. "Shh, you're very cold and tired." He brought the blankets over her face, making her squeal her protests and giggle when he peeked under the blankets to see her.

She beamed at him. "Oh, hi."

His smile felt so right on his face when she evoked it. "Oh, hi."

He leaned down to kiss her, pulling the blankets over both of them, and they kissed until the warmth of being together coaxed them to sleep.

When her warm blankets arrived the next day, she was ecstatic at the pretty yellow color—her favorite—and he was content and pleased to watch her run around displaying her prize to everyone at home.

He had always longed for a love like his parents had, true and kind and enduring, but with his career choice, it left little time to search for that, but he didn't need to search for Faeryn. She appeared so suddenly that her presence felt like a normality nearly immediately, and as time passed and she confessed her love, it was mutual. He loved her intensely, softly, and kindly. 

He would do anything for her, and he knew that would never change. His love for her was unending, and he was bursting with joy that she returned his affection at the same extent.

His beautiful sweetheart.

***

Jimin had been in countless relationships, sifting through them and coming up empty. One-night stands, a few months with someone who left due to his career path, and mere weeks with someone who lost interest in who they thought he should be; Park Jimin, a singer from BTS, didn't meet their expectations.

Simply put, he was over it. He poured himself into his music, dancing, and focusing intently on meetings. No more relationships; he was done with them and one-night stands that felt more lonely than fulfilling. He could hold someone but not truly know them, and it caused his gut to churn. 

He was done. If people wanted to view him as a broken version of the idol they created in their head and leave him, he wouldn't beg them to stay. It was beneath him. So he was done.

It must have been months since he last shared someone's bed. He was restless, but he remained firm, knowing another situationship would stir more restlessness.

His attention was caught by Jungkook after how poorly his management treated him, and he and his bandmates—his best friends—ensured Jungkook was taken care of. The healing journey was slow, but Jimin was there when needed, allowing Jungkook to sit beside him during rare occasions when the younger didn't hide away, and when rare occasions became normality, a woman entered their lives.

Faeryn.

Faeryn entered their lives.

He heard of her arrival through vigorous prompting from Taehyung to check his texts, and Jimin did so, annoyed when he read them. The world was tainted with the abuse of others, and this woman he had never met had been a victim of it—like Jungkook had.

Vigilant, he kept his focus as he walked to reception to greet her. His eyes never strayed when he entered and left HYBE, trained on his phone or in front of him, so he had never seen her before, but she looked like a deer, frozen and staring at him when he introduced himself.

He could see who she was this way; gauge if she was a threat to their home and Jungkook who was still finding his way back to himself.

"We haven't met yet," he greeted, "And you'll be staying at our house, so I wanted to introduce myself."

"Oh." She stood up straighter if possible, her brown eyes flickering as they struggled to assess the situation. "Hi, I'm Faeryn. I'm a receptionist."

Her sudden true statement drew a smile from him that he hadn't meant to release. "Hi, Faeryn. I'm Jimin."

During their first talk, her truth was stained in her features—the daunting fear of it all. He knew she wasn't lying about being hurt; she wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was trembling.

When she admitted she couldn't tell him who kept her in danger because she would be in trouble, he told her, "He can't get to you here. Like I said, he has to go through security."

"Okay," she whispered, but she was distant. Fading away from him quickly like a deer ready to bolt.

"Hey." He tapped the table, a gentle action, and her attention was his once more. He was glad for it. "It'll be okay. You'll stay with us, and soon, you'll be able to stay with your friend. Was her name Lyric?"

She nodded.

"Okay," he concurred. "As long as you're around good people, it'll be harder for the bad ones to get to you."

He didn't expect Faeryn to be as good a person as she was. Every minute spent with her caused her goodness to overflow and sink into every corner of the room she abided in. She opened up to him about being Autistic, smiled her biggest smile he had ever seen her smile, and curled close to him on the couch as they watched her favorite dinosaur show.

It almost felt like being close to a cat, any sudden movement and you'll scare them away, but Faeryn didn't go anywhere that day, and she hadn't since. She only grew closer to Jimin as he grew closer to her. 

He didn't crave one-night stands, flings, or situationship anymore. He didn't truly realize it until after he kissed Faeryn, brought her to an orgasm, and she fell asleep half on his and Hoseok's lap.

When he held her, he knew her, and there was so much more to know of her, but he could because Faeryn wasn't a one-night stand, a fling, or a situationship. Faeryn was Faeryn, and he held her securely and safely as she slept.

He felt as if they had time to know each other, and she would be there when he woke the next morning, seeing her smile and laugh with the others during breakfast.

And when he tasted her in the dressing room when she wanted to dress herself in pink for Namjoon, he felt a spark surge through him. Namjoon had shared Jungkook with him before, but it was a rare occurrence. Faeryn wasn't a rare occurrence; Jimin wanted her more than anything he could fathom, and the thought of being in a poly relationship—sharing such an incredible woman—made him hot. His skin prickled with heat, his eyes burned with want, and he lifted Faeryn into his arms when she came because of him.

He took her home, teasing all the way to his car, and realized how deep he was in. In his words to her, he was so fucked, but he didn't mind. He finally found someone he could hold that wouldn't disappear from his reach. She didn't care about his idol status, which of his songs was trending, or if a certain rumor was true or not. She believed him, cared for him, and as time passed, she loved him.

Jimin was flirtatious and a notorious tease, but whenever Faeryn needed otherwise, he was whatever she needed. He could be calm and serious, and Faeryn evoked both sides from him. And now, he could be in love. With her.

She was his sweet, mean woman—and yes, he shared—but the title belonged to him. He loved it when she teased him in return, jutted her bottom lip out mockingly, and fought back against his quips. She met him where he was, and he met her where she was. They had balance, and while there was companionship, there was fucking—and there was making love. They did both. 

Their balance was easy to find, almost as easy as Faeryn had become someone important to him.

He wasn't sure anything would be as easy as that.

***

Yoongi groggily dragged his eyes away from his computer monitor.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed. His curtains were drawn, blanketing his room in darkness, and his eyes were straining from the computer's harsh light.

Another knock made him push his chair back, the wheels allowing the motion, and he stood clumsily, regaining his balance after a day without moving, and navigated through the clutter painting his floor to reach his bedroom door. Opening it, he was met with Jin's taller stature.

Shit, Yoongi thought, wiping his eyes drowsily. It was later than he thought.

Jin held a plate of steamed dumplings, but the smell only nauseated Yoongi. The former saw right through him and pushed the door open wider with his foot.

"Tell me about your day," he instructed, stepping into the mess that was Yoongi's room.

Yoongi stood at the door, still growing accustomed to being semi-conscious after a day full of music lengths and hating every lyric he wrote.

Jin sat on Yoongi's extra chair, also containing spinning wheels. Yoongi felt like he was spinning where he stood, dizzy and exhausted. But he was also dizzy and exhausted, whether it be because of depression or the medication meant to help depression, so he stood there struggling with his balance because what else could he do?

Jin set Yoongi's plate down on his desk—surprisingly finding a less cluttered area to do so—and guided Yoongi back to his chair. Sitting down with a heavy thump, Yoongi hunched forward, his shoulder slumping as he refocused on his computer screen.

Jin sat beside him. "Your day," he repeated, nudging the plate of dumplings with the sides of his knuckles. "Tell me."

Yoongi dragged a palm over his face, marginally making eye contact with his only hyung of the home. Yoongi knew he was holed up in his room, but he knew what to expect in there. It was dark, he wasn't as dizzy when seated, and he could make good music—if he could eventually create something he didn't hate.

Jin was waiting, and Yoongi respected him, so he cleared his throat and tried his hand at words after a day of rapping into his microphone.

"Music." His voice was hoarse. It sounded as hollow as he felt.

Jin folded his arms across his chest, leaning back slightly in his chair. "Press play."

"I do not wish to."

Jin's eyes looked pointedly at the dumplings, and refraining from a sigh, Yoongi took the second choice and ate the dumplings, opting out of sharing his music.

Yoongi, much to his surprise, enjoyed the dumpling. Lifting it toward Jin questioningly, the latter responded, "Yes, I made it."

They each knew bits of sign language for one of the songs they made, and in moments like these, Yoongi preferred to use it when speaking felt too difficult and tiresome. He signed his thanks, and Jin dipped his chin in acknowledgement. Yoongi wanted to learn more ASL, it would offer a great reprieve for him, but he wanted to do a lot of things. He ended up doing nothing. It was a cycle, and he was trapped in his room.

His room was safe, but sometimes, he felt like he was missing out. Sometimes, it felt like the four walls would suffocate him, and the clutter would come alive and bring him down with them until he was unrecognizable, and no medication would be able to evoke him—not that any had so far.

Yoongi accepted another dumpling.

Jin examined his computer screen. "You've accomplished a lot today."

"Bad," Yoongi signed, focusing on eating the corners of the dumplings first, enjoying the smaller bites before finding the center.

"Practice isn't bad."

If all I do is practice, then it is bad, Yoongi thought, but he didn't have the resources to say so.

"You don't agree," Jin responded to Yoongi's expression.

Yoongi shook his head.

"If you're too hard on yourself, your work will reflect that," Jin told him gravely. "There's no beauty in overworking yourself. I know we did it when we were younger, and it took us here, but we're here now. No one can overwork themselves forever; it's not attainable."

Yoongi wasn't sure if he was overworking himself or hiding. Go to HYBE, go to his bedroom. Make bad music, go to bed if his current medication didn't have a side-effect of insomnia. Repeat.

It didn't matter if he was overworking himself or hiding. He was miserable.

"You need a break." Jin's tone held a warning. "You can't go on like this."

It didn't matter where Yoongi went to take a break; he would be with himself on a break, and he needed a break from himself, his depression, and everything that contributed to it.

His scarce appetite left. He managed one and a half dumplings.

Jin's eyes narrowed. "Eat the last half."

From experience, Yoongi knew Jin wouldn't leave unless he did, so with his lips set in a firm line, he ate the remaining dumpling.

"Good," Jin commended. "Try to sleep." He stood, taking the plate with him. "If you can't, Namjoon, Jimin, and I are watching a movie in the game room if you want to join us. It's run time is for another hour and a half."

If he couldn't sleep, Yoongi would write words that didn't flow properly; words that he would hate. There was no escape.

Jin leaned down to catch Yoongi's straying eyes. "Yoongi, I need you to try to sleep or come sit in the game room. This isn't healthy."

Yoongi knew it wasn't healthy. He also didn't know what else to do. Being with people right now and watching a movie he wouldn't find interest in sounded miserable.

He hobbled his way to his bed in response.

Jin's features were tense, but he nodded. "Text me if you want to talk. I'll put the rest of the dumplings in a container if you get hungry later."

Jin closed the door when he left, and Yoongi remained face-planted in his bed. His psychologist was pushing therapy, but Yoongi didn't have the energy to speak about things he wanted to forget. He wanted a medication that helped him forget; he wanted a reprieve from everything that haunted him, but there was none in sight.

His phone buzzed from his desk, and lifting his face tiredly, he could make out the text message. It surprised him, and he retrieved his phone to ensure he'd read correctly.

Taehyung: Hey hyungs, my friend Faeryn needs a place to stay. I think she's in a dangerous situation, she says she can't stay home and she stayed on the streets last night, so she's going to stay in the guest room tonight. We'll all talk more about this tomorrow, I know, but I wanted to keep everyone updated! There is no random person in our house; it's Faeryn.

Yoongi reread the message multiple times.

There is no random person in our house; it's Faeryn.

Faeryn.

He'd overheard Taehyung gushing over his new crochet teacher Faeryn, and now she was his friend. Yoongi was envious, although he shouldn't have been, of how easy it was for his friends to make friends and connections faster than he did. Since them, he hadn't truly made any friends. He was too tired to maintain himself, let alone a friendship.

He leafed through the strewn pages of lyrics on his desk before giving up and pushing back onto his bed, using one of his hoodies for a pillow. He was sure his actual pillow was under his bed or somewhere on the floor. His personal scattered sea, he envisioned it as. Perhaps that's why he felt like he was suffocating in his room. His scattered sea would soon drown him.

***

Faeryn, Taehyung's crochet teacher, appeared the next night.

Yoongi had been patiently viewing Jungkook's cat and dog videos, but the latter froze when the crochet teacher appeared. Yoongi realized she was the receptionist and wondered if Taehyung had mentioned that before and if he'd just tuned him out, too lost in his own thoughts to process anyone else's.

Amid his hazy thoughts, he recognized Jungkook's freeze could be because of fear toward strangers due to his management situation, so he found the strength in his hand to squeeze Jungkook's knee—although his medication made his body feel numb and his fingers shake. He hoped it comforted Jungkook; seeing the younger in pain or afraid was unpleasant. He deserved to feel safe.

Yoongi watched the crochet teacher closely, and when she left for the bathroom, Taehyung and Hoseok explained the situation, how she wasn't safe, and how a possible abuser was the culprit. The news was unpleasant, and Yoongi despised it.

Taehyung said, "We have to make her as comfortable as possible while she's here."

Yoongi found his voice after hours of silence. "We will."

He assumed he would make her feel as comfortable as possible by staying locked away in his room; one less man to overwhelm her. However, as the days passed, Faeryn didn't seem to mind his friend's company. Her giggles sounded from parts of the house he could hear in his room, and sometimes he would pause to listen to her make jokes or laugh at Yoongi's friend's jokes.

He overheard her gifting Jin a gift she crocheted, and the conversation ended with the reveal that Ryker—the now unveiled abuser—had broken her gaming console. It filled Yoongi with annoyance how some people could be so vile to take away enjoyment from others simply because they cannot find true enjoyment of their own. Yoongi didn't truly enjoy what he did, not anymore due to depression stifling his passion, but he would never hurt anyone as an outlet. He would sooner be the outlet than cause the infusion of sparks and fire.

Yoongi found himself sick, most likely picked it up at HYBE, and his AC was broken, so into the living room he went with a stuffy nose and a box of tissues. Without his AC, he truly did believe he might suffocate in his room.

Taehyung informed him that Faeryn would be staying home, and Jin reinforced the reminder before they all left.

Yoongi, although secluded as he was, could pick up on things. He was keen and watchful, and his friends didn't hide their feelings for Faeryn, making it easier to tell. They cared about her incredibly, and it amazed him how one woman garnered their affection in what would be three months in a few days.

He kept the TV on for background noise, lulling in and out of consciousness as he felt more miserable than usual—being sick could be blamed. The woman circulating his thoughts padded her way downstairs tiredly with a sniffle, clutching the banister for stability—Yoongi wondered if she felt dizzy, too—as she ventured into the kitchen.

He discreetly watched her, but when he realized she was finished and coming his way, he focused intently on whatever was playing on the TV. Her permission to sit was granted, and she struck up a conversation about the TV. Yoongi humored the conversation, but his nose was irritated; he kept patting beneath it, and he was exhausted. However, the woman beside him had a sweet tone, not at all grating, and it almost sounded like music.

Turning sour for a moment after her musically inclined voice reminded him of his failed music attempts—not to mention how she previously enjoyed clips of his songs even when he thought they were awful—he returned to silence. She kept breaking it, trying to breach what should've been left to lull, but she asked about his music, and he felt inclined to respond because of her kindness toward his songs.

"It's all right," he decided, not wanting to press further into how not all right it was. Depression was never a thrilling topic starter.

She asked if she could hear his music. Again? he wondered, puzzled. His lackluster songs with a slow, haunting melody bordering on depressive; she wanted to hear it again?

She looked serious, so he slowly retrieved his phone and placed it between them. He didn't expect for her to cry, or for the sight of her tears to hit him so deeply. He'd seen her cry before, the first time being when she fell into Hoseok's arms after a night on the streets, but being alone with her while she cried—something he physically couldn't do—was unsettling.

He didn't like it when she cried, and he wanted to put his phone away and stop what the music evoked from her, but she said she liked it. It made her feel less alone. And that...stung Yoongi. Harshly. Like a twist in the gut around his waist to tie a bow and cut the cord, leaving him to bleed out.

The song he viewed as a failure made her feel less alone. It was startling news, to say the least.

Yoongi meant to play the song again as she requested, but her candor evoked his attempt at it. He opened up about his depression, and she opened up about her grandparents—more specifically her grandmother and what peace looked like for her by the ocean.

The woman who liked his music despite the depressing tone to it didn't think he was strange for not being able to cry, and she didn't leave when he spoke of his depression. She sat and listened and opened up in turn.

It was a conversation, but it went both ways. That is how all conversations should be, Yoongi thought. But it had been so long since he left his room, and although Jin tried, he wasn't depressed, so he didn't truly understand, but Faeryn? Yoongi believed she understood because of what she had been through. There is a shaky line between deep sadness and depression, and it seemed Faeryn had frolicked around it, playing a losing game of tug-of-war to both sides. And yet here she was, smiling at him as she spoke of her grandmother, who passed.

They were quiet for the rest of their day together, but Yoongi enjoyed it. He didn't know he could enjoy someone's presence even if they didn't speak. He truly, truly enjoyed the quiet and her presence.

It was nice to be quiet with someone, he concurred. It was nice to be quiet with Faeryn.

After Faeryn moved out, Yoongi...did not feel the same. His room was too small. She was no longer present to spin on his chair with wheels, and the silences without her were not enjoyable. He grew accustomed to her presence, whether talking or quiet, and he missed it.

He missed her.

She was different; she acted out scenes with the bunny and bear Jimin and Jin bought her, and she recruited Yoongi do the same. He was embarrassed at first, unsure what to do, but she guided him, giggling and pleased with herself when Yoongi managed a smile.

It had been so long since he smiled, and although she wasn't gone, she wasn't always around, and he enjoyed their nights together in his room where they listened to music and she would rock until she fell asleep. Jin usually came to carry her to bed, but it couldn't happen anymore because Faeryn left.

Yoongi didn't like how oppressive his room felt. He grew accustomed to someone else being in it with him, which made it less stifling, but now, he was choking, and his barren room became a threat.

He left his room more, following Faeryn's advice and taking something from it for reassurance, and when they went to the Ocean for her sake, he felt at peace, something he hadn't felt for a long time, and when she brushed his hair from his face and fitted his flower crown on, he felt seen. It said something to him that although she didn't like making eye contact, he still felt seen.

She saw him, truly saw him, and no one had ever seen him as vulnerably as she did. It was raw. And she wasn't afraid to cry in front of him. And he would marvel at how beautiful she was. But it scared him. She was sexually active with the others, and he wasn't ready for that. He wasn't ready for a relationship because he knew it meant sex. He couldn't do it.

But she didn't push it. And with time, trust began to build, his feelings began to grow, and he took her on a date where his plan to ask her to be his girlfriend built up wrong, but they ended the night with a kiss, and Yoongi felt so alive yet so peaceful. He loved the combinations she drew from him. He so dearly loved who she was as a person.

And when she told him she loved him? It was wonderful to hear, but paired with the knowledge that she wouldn't mind if they never had sex? It floored him. It was all he could ever want, and his previous relationships had all said otherwise—or said the same and changed their minds, attempting to coerce him into sex.

He was demisexual and traumatized from past partners, and when he found the strength to open up to Faeryn with help from his new therapist—he finally found the courage to begin—Faeryn gathered him closer, kissed him, and held him as finally—finally—he cried. After years, he could cry, and everything he kept in was released, and he was intensely relieved.

And Faeryn held him just to hold him, caressing his hair and body with no ulterior motive, and her touch didn't make him feel dirty as if he had to squirm to escape a wandering hand when he said no prior. He could relax because he trusted her; he loved her, and she loved him. And sex would come, he knew it would because the attraction had blossomed, but when he was ready, and she said she loved him more than she loved sex.

Yoongi had heard and created a lot of music in his life, but her words were the sweetest melody he had ever heard.

***

Jin had a set way of doing this; his orders would be followed, and his rules would be abided by. 

He held status above his friends, and although Namjoon was the band's leader, Jin was their leader. It gave him and Namjoon space to share leadership, and when one would ease back, the other would take over.

He had a naturally more stern front, picking it up from neither of his parents, but more so because of the lack thereof. Growing up with an obnoxious yet loving father and a loud, ebullient mother, Jin had to find calmness and routine for himself. As benevolent as his parents were, they lacked where rules came in. Jin picked up the pace, settled into rules that guided him for success, and found ways to relax with his parents when he wasn't working toward making a bigger life for himself. His regiment paid off, helping his bandmates when they arrived into the picture, and his money now paid for his parents to live stress-free.

Why would he give up the strict regimen he created when it had reaped so much good for him? He didn't ask himself this often, but the first time was during Jungkook's ADHD diagnosis process and everything that came afterward with his abusive management. Jin learned with no small amount of strife to tone down his stern behavior, watching Namjoon closely and schooling his voice to match his tone more often when directed to Jungkook.

Above all, Jin cared, and now he had bandmates he cared for deeply. If anyone hurt those he cared about, he would deal with them and proceed to learn how to help his hurt loved one. In this case, it was Jungkook, and he learned what he could revolving trauma responses, coping skills, and how to broach certain topics if they needed to be at all.

He could see Jungkook appreciated it, nuzzling into his hand and settling back into the routine he and Namjoon curated for him. It assisted him greatly with staying on a routine and his meds, but help as it did, Jungkook hadn't been the same, and Jin wasn't sure he ever would be. It was cause for great worry for him. He missed Jungkook's sprightly, jovial eyes and the spark they no longer held. It would appear rarely, mostly when he tentatively enjoyed activities his management claimed were 'childish' or when he wore colorful accessories.

Jungkook stopped therapy shortly after he began, indulging it for three months before saying he was fine, but Jin wasn't sure he'd taken enough time. As it was, he didn't push the topic, nor did Namjoon, and both men simply watched Jungkook carefully as the days went by, waiting for when his spark would return.

They didn't expect a woman to spark it, and Jin most certainly did not expect the same woman to spark something within him.

She announced herself mutely with a wave one morning while Jin and Namjoon discussed their schedule for the day. Their words came to a halt, however, at the stranger dressed in rumpled business attire and ruffled hair. 

Jin felt Namjoon tense, knowing exactly where his mind went. A saesang found a way here, and Jungkook was in possible danger. Were the others safe?

But this woman didn't look dangerous. She looked afraid. And Jin knew this as he and she made brief eye contact. She didn't hold it, and Taehyung swooped in seconds later to explain the situation when it seemed the woman couldn't.

Her name was Faeryn, and she worked as a receptionist for HYBE. Jin didn't make it a habit to check in near the bottom of reception; he could do it on his usual floor, so she was still as much of a stranger as before Taehyung's introduction, but he knew her name, so maybe that wasn't completely true.

He noticed she didn't enjoy sticky rice as easily as he noticed her fear, and he decided she would stay with them. With strict rules, after all, everyone would be safe. Including Faeryn.

Jin had been known in school growing up as a protector of those who were bullied and treated unfairly, and the need to protect never left. He was a protector, he knew that, and under his careful, weary watch, he would help those who weren't sure how to help themselves. Some needed a nudge, others needed a push, and others refused, and while he wasn't sure what Faeryn needed, it wasn't on his agenda to find out. It was on his agenda to give her a week until her friend Lyric returned.

But Lyric wouldn't take her in, and Faeryn didn't return one night after HYBE. They waited for her, and after an hour, Taehyung lost his mind, running around the house calling Lyric, Chiksu, and HYBE's security. No one could locate her, and Jin's usually structured home was set into a ruckus because of Taehyung. Because of Faeryn's sudden absence.

She didn't return that night, but the next morning, Namjoon texted him at HYBE. Faeryn had returned and misunderstood Jin's communication for living arrangements.

Jin didn't know Faeryn well, only that she went about life differently with sunglasses, earphones, and sign language, but there was a strong pull in his gut when Namjoon relayed her night on the street.

Jin already knew she wasn't safe off the streets, and he decided his home would be hers until she saved up enough for a place of her own.

They had this discussion, and she was beyond grateful and relieved; he could see it written on her face.

He laid down ground rules at his home, ensuring she knew what was expected of her and how to abide peacefully with them for the next three months, but the transition was...easy. Jin hadn't been expecting it, but she fit, and his friends were quickly enraptured. 

He quickly began to expect her light, shy giggles from a spot in the house, and when Jungkook's joined, he quietly looked out from the kitchen to catch sight of them watching TV in the living room. Jungkook looked like he was scared of giggling so hard for a moment, but something in Faeryn's features helped him to relax, and he clutched his stomach as his giggles tore from him.

His laughter sounded different, but it was there, and it had been so long since it sounded real. Like he wasn't forcing it for the sake of his hyungs or himself. He felt it in every part of his body, and his flushed features were a sure sign of enjoyment.

Jin eased back into the kitchen before he would be noticed, and Namjoon appeared soon after, most likely drifting towards the sound of Jungkook's happiness. Jin heard some of their muted conversation, but he left soon after to check on Yoongi, sitting with his friend and ensuring he was okay.

Yoongi struggled with depression, and Jin struggled with helping him. The former refused therapy, and although Jin couldn't fill that gap, he could be a good friend, so he was, and he would be. Yoongi never fully opened up about each factor of his depression, but he talked about how some days, he was depressed because he simply was. He didn't know how to stop it. Jin ensured he was around on those days, especially during slower days at HYBE, where distractions fell away and kept Yoongi huddled away in practice room corners or trying but failing to find sleep in their dressing rooms.

As much as his friends cared for Faeryn, Jin began to care, unsure when it happened but feeling it all the same. He saw her fear of who she was afraid of, a man named Ryker, and he did everything in his power to ensure her safety. She was safe with them at home, but at HYBE, he talked to security, confirmed they had Ryker's photo in the system, and would deny him access even with a guest pass. His word was their command, and Ryker was blacklisted from HYBE for as long as HYBE would exist.

And when Faeryn became more to them, cautiously leaning into their touch until it became easier, his protectiveness grew into something else, strengthening when she became sick and had to be bathed by Hoseok in the hall tub.

When he saw how Namjoon spoke to her, promising her a place at their home, Jin looked at him intently. In that moment, he realized how much she meant to Namjoon—to all of them. And when Jin took her to bed and she told him about her lost, beloved Mr. Stuffins, he bought him for her. 

Her teary-eyed gratitude always touched his heart, but he denied her thank yous, telling her he would give her anything. All she had to do was say the word.

She changed their home for the better, adding a spark to it that he didn't think any of his friends realized they were missing, and he wanted her to stay. 

He wanted her to stay.

Her playfulness began to peek out to play when she truly began feeling safe, acting out scenes with Mr. Stuffins and Bunny—even earning smiles from Yoongi, no matter how small—free playing in video games with silly voices she came up with and blushing when she realized she was being watched by one of them, giggling shyly and stammering to explain herself only to be soothed with a kiss and coaxed to return to her silly actions.

And she was always there to help him with dinner, talking about her day, asking about his, and bounding around excitedly to make her beloved potatoes or help plate Chinese food. Jin didn't like takeout so often, but she loved it, and he loved her happiness. The takeout previously set to two times a week at most turned into however many times Faeryn wanted it, making an inch of his strict regimen slip away.

He didn't mind. It felt freeing to see a rule be lost if it meant gaining Faeryn's happiness, and after busy days, it was nice not to cook and be more present with his friends and Faeryn. This is when he realized that perhaps not all rules were meant to be so firmly rooted. Perhaps the right person could give way to them and bring out something more spontaneous. 

When it came to her safety and routine, however, he was strict. When he saw her meltdowns and fear when Ryker returned, he was relieved he had read up on what to do prior. The pressure would help her, and when he felt her body slump against his, he immediately took Yoongi up on his suggestion to visit the ocean.

It was more spontaneity, but Faeryn needed it. And once they were at the beach, he realized how much everyone else did, himself included. Faeryn broke him out of the rules he created to keep him and his friends stable—or so he thought that's what his rules did, but some began to stray, and stability still remained. 

It was difficult at first to let go of the rules he created to make a better life for himself, to ground himself into society and a role model for those who enjoyed his music, but during the process, he hadn't realized his bandmates—best friends—had grounded him. That his rules had since gotten him to a point where he could relax, but it didn't fully click onto they were slowly peeled back by the once stranger who appeared in his home one morning.

Faeryn.

Faeryn peeled back everything, finding his most vulnerable parts, softening his mind and heart, and finding her way in. He could hear the change in his voice when it was directed to her, and although it contained some of its sternness, he was learning—and his friends assisted him. Yoongi gave reminders for him to be gentler, and Jin would take his reminders in stride, wanting to make Faeryn as comfortable as possible.

He worked hard to find a balance that would work for himself, his friends, and Faeryn—who was easily becoming someone he loved. He had never loved someone so easily. It didn't scare him; it reassured him. There was no need to look any further, and there would never be. Faeryn had found him when he least expected it, and she was softening every inch of him, bringing out a love he had never felt before—and it was all for her.

He took his time building the sexual tension between them, enjoying how sweetly she took to it with her shy pleading until it turned into near demanding. She was so beautiful with or without clothing, and he kept his promise to her, keeping her tangled in his sheets until he ensured she was satisfied.

Bathing her afterward, easing her into aftercare, and tickling her to evoke her melodic giggles was euphoric. Her teasing and sharp inhales when his more dominant side would win caused him to bite back smiles more often than not, and he found himself kissing along her face and lips to soothe her, but he could tell she enjoyed his dominance. She fell into it easily, delighting in being cared for after so long without it, and he was proud to fall into that place for her. He was happy it could be him.

He smiled when she modeled his towels for him, fluffing it with her pretty laughter and lighting up when she decided on a surprise for him. Always kind, always wanting to pay him back although he—and the others—denied her payment. Being with her felt like freedom, and money couldn't give him that feeling, so he denied hers. She would keep it, use it for herself if she chose to, but if not, he would take care of her for the rest of their life. His money was hers, and he knew the same could be said for the others.

"Jin." Faeryn curled closer to him on his gaming desk, perched proudly in his seat, although her eyes fluttered with exhaustion. "I'm beating you this round. See?" She pointed, but with her sleepy vision, she pointed to the wrong area. "I'm the winner."

"Is that right?" His hand warmed her hand up and down slowly, his chest rumbling when he noted the positive effect it had on her. 

"I love you," she whispered, slipping her face into her comfort spot; his neck. "I love beating you in video games."

There it was; the soft reaction she found within him, and he smiled fondly as he caressed her hair. "Sleep." He pressed a kiss to her temples. "Beating me in video games is tiring."

"Oh, it really is," she confirmed seriously, curling her hands on his chest. "We should..." Yawn. "Get coffee tomorrow, and I can pay because it was my idea."

It was a rule they agreed on, and for her, he promised. He would never break any promise he made to her.

"This is your last payment for this month," he warned lightly, kissing beneath her ear. 

She beamed sleepily and caught his lips for a languid, loving kiss. "Buy the most expensive thing, okay?" She patted her pocket. "My wallet will be here tomorrow, so I can spoil you."

His chest rumbled with amusement. "Mm. Will you be wearing these exact pajama pants?"

"Yeah!" She paused. "Oh, no, not these pants, but you know." She clung to him as sleep came to take her away. "Some pants."

"Some pants." He clasped the back of her neck and watched as a firm squeeze made her melt against him. "Mhm." Kissing her head, he murmured, "I'll see you in some pants tomorrow."

She mumbled a pleased, drowsy response before her grip on him loosened and sleep won.

But Jin felt like he had won. The most beautiful, precious prize he adored more than the world his rules set up for him.

He had won Faeryn. 

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed these last two chapters 🤗 I had such a fun time writing them and further exploring the characters. I hope everyone's doing okay! I'm hoping next week will be better than this week lol I've been in the trenches, but reading your comments and writing this story makes me feel so much better, so thank you to everyone who reads this story and leaves such kind comments. It really means the world to me 🫂🩷

Chapter 52: Ski Resorts + Fun!

Summary:

Faeryn properly meets her men's parents and has a fun skiing day with everyone! + a slightly embarrassing talk is spurred on later that night...

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

The next morning, I was well accommodated and ready to meet everyone properly.

A morning shower with Hoseok boosted my mood; his gentle soothing, playful tone, and actions put me in a great state of mind, and I felt comfortable adorning my sunglasses, earplugs, hair-down hairstyle, and baggy clothes to keep my sensory issues in check.

Hoseok called the rest of my men into his room before we went down for breakfast, and we all spent an hour together, talking about what happened last night and how it affected me. I assured everyone that the issue was my refusal to accommodate myself, wanting to fit in and avoid answering bombarding questions from their relatives, and Jin assured me that he would talk to everyone and ensure they kept the questions to a minimum.

After they stressed the importance of my comfort and ease and how my accommodations were a big part of that, we talked about what we did yesterday when we weren’t together, and it helped me feel included and less alone.

We laughed during a few funny play-by-plays, and I was rosy-cheeked and ready to face the day, feeling my stomach stir with excitement to be much more focused and prepared to conquer the day than I was yesterday.

During our talk, Jungkook, Taehyung, and I even busied ourselves with decorating our cameras, and the others showered us with praise. Jin and Namjoon looked very pleased that we enjoyed our gifts so much, and the three of us proclaimed that they would be the first people in our camera roll to thank them.

Claiming kisses and hugs from each of my men, I beamed as we walked downstairs together and united. I kept my camera slung around my neck with its sturdy strap, wanting to capture the day, and Jungkook and Taehyung did the same. It made me feel even less alone knowing we would be doing the same thing throughout the day and end it together to pore over our photos.

“Good morning!” Jin’s mother called from the kitchen, her eyes bright as if she’d been awake for hours.

Jimin’s and Namjoon’s mothers were also present, and Jungkook’s mother peeked her head out from the fridge with a piece of fruit hanging from the side of her mouth. She smiled sheepishly as if caught in the act, and I bit back a giggle when Jin’s mother scolded her for eating the fruit meant for a breakfast spread. They reminded me of Jin’s and Jungkook’s dynamic, and I smiled widely.

“Good morning!” I braved a greeting, and their attention shifted to me immediately, followed by cheery greetings in turn.

“Are you hungry, lovely?” Jimin’s mom asked, waving me over. “I know Jimin isn’t usually hungry in the morning, always opting for tea and something light like rice.”

“I like tea, too,” I told her, tentatively walking over.

“He told me,” she revealed with a secretive smile. “And since we’re all up so early without the chaos from the younger children and rowdy men yet, I think now would be the perfect time for my gift.”

My eyes widened. “Oh no, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“It’s Christmas! I only give gifts to people I want to; otherwise, Christmas would be awfully dull.”

Jimin laughed lightly. “It’s true. It’s caused a lot of arguments.”

“What?” Jimin’s mom shrugged, lowering to a cabinet beneath the sink. “If they want gifts, they need to be nice to me throughout the year and not just in November and December. They’re like hawks trying to steal my trinkets.”

Jungkook giggled, and Jimin’s mom pointed at him. “See? He gets it. How are you this morning, bunny?”

Jungkook’s bunny smile showed as if conjured by her words. “Good!” He pushed his camera forward. “Look what Jin and Joon got for me, Taehyung, and Faeryn; a shared present!”

All of the women shielded their faces, shouting for no flash photography.

“It’s not on!” Jungkook insisted, although he shielded the lens. “I won’t!”

Jin chuckled and ruffled Jungkook’s hair. “Go sit at the table.”

Jungkook listened but only after ensuring the women hadn’t been scared to death by his camera reveal, offering an apologetic smile.

“Oh, you’re fine,” Jungkook’s mom told him, tugging him into a hug and looking at Jin’s mom to ensure she wasn’t looking before popping a strawberry into Jungkook’s mouth. “But no flash photography!”

Jungkook blushed, insisting, “I won’t!”

“Why is he talking with his mouth full?” Jin’s mom scolded Jungkook’s mom.

Jungkook’s mom nearly jumped out of her skin. “I swear she has eyes in the back of her head,” she mumbled, pushing Jungkook forward to sit at the table.

Jimin’s mom rose with a present in hand. “For you, honey. Come here and open it! Why are you so far away?”

I inched closer. “I bought something for all of you; everyone’s parents, but I left it in the car.”

Namjoon pushed his hands into his jean pockets for his keys. “I’ll bring them in here; the others can open their presents tonight when everyone’s gone to bed.”

“Thank you,” I told him gratefully.

He smiled in response, letting me know, “I’ll be right back.”

I watched after him until Jimin’s mom pushed the gift into my hands. “Open!”

Excited whilst also trying to ignore the sudden attention on me, I peeled back the wrapping paper gently and gasped when I saw what awaited me. It was a beautiful, pink tea kettle, and before I could properly admire it and fathom a way to thank her, she took it from me and handed me a smaller gift.

“This is from all of us mothers,” she told me with a gentle smile.

I stammered incoherently, completely caught off guard, but with their coaxing, I opened it. I gasped when I saw what it was, confused as I looked at them with surprise. “Is this—?”

“We heard what happened,” Jin’s mom explained with a light tut. “Taehyung, that sweet, handsome boy, came to us with your broken strawberry cup, and we fixed it up last night. All of us did, even the mothers who aren’t here right now and are being lazy in their beds.”

The other moms snickered, sharing a gleeful laugh at the good-natured teasing, adding something about how much of a late riser Taehyung’s mom was.

Taehyung defended her with a cheeky grin, “She takes extra time with her hair routine.” He fluffed his hair. “Lucious, she says.”

“Lucious,” the mothers repeated, laughing.

“She does have that going for her,” Jimin’s mom teased, smiling fondly when she viewed my reaction to the pieced-together strawberry cup that I adored. “What do you think?”

“I love it,” I choked out. “I didn’t think I would see it again, and it looks perfect.”

“We’ve had our fair share of these kids breaking things,” Jin’s mom said as she stirred a big pot of food on the stovetop. “This isn’t the first time we’ve glued a cup back together.”

“It looks so perfect,” I gushed, gripping it tightly and carefully. “I want to put it in the car. Can I put it in the car?”

“Of course,” Jin’s mom confirmed, approving of my choice. “It will be safe in there.”

“And I love the tea kettle,” I expressed my gratitude. “I love the color pink, and I really appreciate this so much. Thank you, all of you, so much!”

They were pleased with my reaction, although they waved off my thanks, shooing me away to sit at the table until my presents arrived in Namjoon’s arms.

They each adored their gifts, tailored specifically for them, and they praised their knowledge of their interests.

“I made sure I would get everyone something they liked,” I said sheepishly. “I asked the guys a lot of questions.”

“So thoughtful,” Jimin’s mom crooned. “You are so sweet!”

Jimin’s smile was laced with pride as he passed his hand through my hair. “She is.”

I beamed up at him, nuzzling into his side as I expressed how happy I was that they liked their gifts. They even let me leave the table to help with breakfast, and in the midst of it, Jungkook sneaked in to help too, claiming he was a breakfast master.

My other six men helped set the tables, we had multiple for the multitude still upstairs, and I tried not to be anxious for the upcoming volume, feeling better with my accommodations.

The other mothers arrived first, and the fathers were soon to follow, some with children holding their hands with whines for breakfast.

I greeted everyone with polite bows and parroted pleasantries, and the mothers fussed over me as they ensured I had every accommodation I needed, apparently having heard an earful from my seven men about yesterday.

They grouped around me as breakfast was plated, keeping me from everyone else as they told me to come to them if I needed anything. They were ready with tea, snacks, or a break in another room to talk about womanly things.

My heart full of gratitude, I managed my thanks before I was ushered to where my men sat at the table for breakfast. It was as loud as I assumed it would be, but the earplugs helped—the headphones even more so when Yoongi caught sight of my winces and fitted them quickly and carefully on my head. His swift movements didn’t gain any notice, and I was relieved, sending him a grateful smile and a signed thanks. He smiled at me softly, offering me a few strawberries when he noticed I finished mine. I accepted them after our signed exchange that he would rather have bananas, and we switched our fruit and ate with small smiles.

After breakfast, the older adults decided we should split up and explore the sights as they usually did during this Christmas get-together.

“Where do you want to go?” Jin asked me, keeping his voice low and between us. “We wrote down a list of places we usually go.” While he was still speaking, Namjoon pushed his phone toward me, his notes open with pinpoints of each location and links to the sights. “Take your time.”

The list helped keep me regulated, the pin-points short and to the point, and I only clicked on the websites after carefully deciding which place caught my attention most. Since they said I could choose, I knew they didn’t mind where I chose, so with that in mind, I decided I wanted to try something new that I had always wanted to but didn’t want to brave alone.

“Skiing,” I announced to them.

“Yeah?” Namjoon smiled, surprised. “You want to go skiing, baby?”

I nodded quickly. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

Jin kissed the side of my head with firm decision. “Then we’ll go.”

I beamed when Namjoon kissed the other side of my head, rubbing my arm as he murmured in my ear as if sharing a secret, “Jin will get a chance to show off his skiing abilities.”

I turned to him with wonder sketched in my features. “He’s good?”

Namjoon’s lips tugged with knowledge. “Wait and see.”

Jin sipped his coffee, hiding his smile as he nudged my plate toward me to finish my food, having picked up Namjoon’s and my secret conversation.

I listened and finished up my breakfast, returning Jungkook’s wave from a few seats down from me when I caught the motion.

He grinned and signed, “Okay?”

I signed back, “Okay!”

He beamed. “I love you,” he mouthed along with the sign, happy when I did the same.

The chairlifts at the ski resort looked scary, but I looked straight ahead as I sat next to Taehyung. The ride up wasn’t too long, and I was grateful I was able to wear ski goggles to block out the bright sun, even if I was grateful for its warmth.

Back on the ground, I held my ski equipment as Namjoon came over to ensure right along with Taehyung that my jacket was secured along with my goggles and helmet.

“How do you feel?” he asked as people began skiing down the mountain. “Do you have any second thoughts? You can tell us; we can wait in the ski resort or go somewhere else. Your discomfort is never an inconvenience.”

My heart thrummed in my chest, and I kissed his cheek. “I’m ready to ski!” I grinned. “I’m going to be a ski master.”

He laughed, kissing my cheek in return. “I’m sure you will.”

Taehyung smiled, happy to see my excitement. “Let’s go meet the others.”

I was grateful we weren’t too high up on the mountain, and we walked along on the flat, snow-covered platform to reach the others. Some of my men’s relatives who opted to ski had already taken off, but a few others were still securing their gear and chatting.

My men were waiting for me, smiling as I approached with Taehyung and Namjoon.

“Look at you all dressed and ready to ski,” Jimin praised, pulling me into his side. “Are you excited, honey?”

“Yes!” I chirped. “I’m ready.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to want to ski,” he admitted, checking my face for second thoughts. “The height aspect doesn’t bother you?”

“A little,” I confirmed. “But we’re not too high up, and if I fall, I fall into the snow, so it won’t hurt too much.”

“That’s a good point.” He tucked his finger under my chin and tilted it up for a kiss. “My brave woman trying her hand at skiing.”

“Jungkook said he’ll go first so he can take pictures of me on his camera,” I told him excitedly. “And he’ll do it on my camera and his, and when he goes back up the chairlift, I’ll stay down so I can do the same for him.”

“That’s so sweet of you both,” he crooned. “I can’t wait to see the photos.”

“Me too,” I gushed, holding the ski poles in ready. “When do we start?”

“Any time you want to start,” he responded with a smile. “And remember that falling is normal during your first time. Don’t feel too bad about it, hm? You just pick yourself right back up.”

I nodded with determination. “I can do that.”

“I know you can,” he confirmed, squeezing my arm. “All right,” he called to the others. “We’re ready.”

Jungkook could barely contain himself. “I’m going with Jin!”

Namjoon put his hands over his eyes to view him. “Racing him, huh, bub?”

Jungkook grinned and pulled his goggles down, offering them a light tap. “And winning.”

Taehyung cackled. “Good luck.”

Jungkook pushed out a thumbs-up. “Won’t need it!”

Jimin told me teasingly, “He will.”

“Is Jin really that good?” I asked, excited to see him in action.

Jimin whistled lowly. “The rest of us don’t stand a chance against him.”

“I can watch since Jungkook is going with him,” I said excitedly.

When Jungkook reached where Jin was, the older nudged the younger’s helmet playfully and leaned down to speak something to him, making Jungkook grip his skiing poles with a smile determined to rise to the challenge.

Jimin chuckled. “Jin’s hyping him up.”

I giggled, waiting expectantly for them to start.

Hoseok counted down for them, closer in proximity than the rest of us were, and when he reached zero, the two men were off. They breezed past us, and I watched, startled at the breeze that rippled through me when they passed us swiftly.

“Since it’s a beginner’s slope,” Jimin told me as I watched them in awe, “it won’t take them long to reach the bottom.”

They were out of sight sooner than I wanted them to be, and a whine slipped past my lips. “I wanted to see.”

“You like watching?” he teased me fondly. “When you’re at the bottom of the mountain, you’ll be able to see more of them.”

“We can go down in a few minutes?” I asked hopefully. “I want to give Jungkook enough time to be ready to take pictures.”

“We’ll give it a few minutes,” he confirmed. “We’ve gone down this slope before a few times; it usually takes them five minutes.”

We waited it out, and I watched a few of my other men ski down, waving as they passed by. The previously chatting relatives zipped past, although none of them were as fast as Jin had been. I couldn’t wait to see more of him in action when I was at the bottom of the slope.

Five minutes felt like forever, but once they passed, Jimin tightened my goggles and helmet. “You’ll go first,” he instructed. “I’ll stay behind you.”

Namjoon was still with us, and he confirmed, “We both will be.”

I could barely stay still, thrill coursing through me. “I’m ready!”

They shared a chuckle.

“Go ahead,” Namjoon confirmed with fond amusement. “We’re right behind you.”

I was off, beaming as the cold weather hit my face. I loved the snow, and it felt like I was flying. I did my best to steer myself carefully on my board, using my poles to guide me. I was a little shaky, and it felt foreign to glide so easily, but I couldn’t stop grinning.

It was a regular slope, no obstacles to practice on, just free range—although Namjoon mentioned there was an area nearby for that—and I started to push myself faster with the poles. Determined while having fun was a mix that sent elation coursing through me, and my balance was maintained as I went down the hill with Jimin and Namjoon behind me.

It took me longer than Jungkook and Jin to reach the bottom if it truly took them 5 minutes—it took me around fifteen—and my excitement to see them caused me to falter on my board. I tilted, squealed when I almost fell, but caught my balance. Ecstatic to have done so, I made it down the slope just to fall at the very bottom when I wasn’t sure how to stop, like Jimin and Namjoon had walked me through earlier, but I was laughing with enjoyment.

Jin’s low laughter met my ears as he lifted me and set me on my feet, his proud smile laced with approval.

“You were fast,” he praised as he dusted the snow off me. “Was that your first fall?”

I beamed, wiggling in excitement. “Yeah! I was too excited to see you and Jungkook, and I forgot how to stop.”

He chuckled into a kiss on my forehead. “I’m impressed. It’s rare not to fall on your first time.”

I puffed out my chest. “I’m a skiing master, you know.”

“Oh, is that right?” He lifted my goggles to wipe the snow that seeped into them during my fall. “We need these on tighter; they loosened a bit.”

“I’m okay!” I exclaimed, turning to view Jungkook.

His camera was pointed at me, and he waved from behind it, all of us having ensured we were out of the way to let other skiers approach and exit the slope.

“I got so many pictures of you!” he announced, delighted. The charms on his camera glittered due to the sun’s reflection, drawing a pleasant reaction from me. “Even of Jin kissing you.” He lifted his camera closer to his eye. “Do it again, though; I could use more angles.”

Jin chuckled deeply, and taking my face in his hands, he kissed me. I relaxed into it, a flurry of excitement and elation due to my successful ski trip down.

Namjoon and Jimin were already beside us, hot on my trail from before, but giving me space to enjoy Jin, knowing how excited I was to see him and Jungkook at the bottom. After Jungkook took multiple shots of us with his camera, he entreated Namjoon to take pictures of him kissing me, and I squealed when Jungkook leaned me back to kiss him, his arm holding my lower back to steady me.

When we fell in the snow, a bundled mess, we were laughing too hard to pick ourselves back up, thoroughly enjoying ourselves.

“Our moms will love this picture,” Jimin said as Namjoon chuckled as he took a picture of our current mess. “It’ll be posted on the fridge for every Christmas to come.”

Jin helped us up, and I took Jungkook’s and my camera from him to take my turn. I couldn’t wait to see him and Jin in action, and I stood with Jimin and Taehyung as Namjoon decided to join Jin, Jungkook, and my other men who had already returned to the chairlift before I arrived at the bottom. They would be returning soon, however, and I readied my camera giddily. I would have so many pictures to look back at fondly, and I was beside myself with excitement.

“Someone’s having fun, hm?” Jimin nudged my chin with his glove-padded hands. “You’re almost jumping with excitement.”

“A happy jumping bean,” Taehyung teased fondly.

“I’ll get pictures of both of you, too,” I announced with happy determination. “You’ll go back up when Jungkook and Jin come down, okay?”

They agreed, chuckling as I snapped pictures of the area before shrieking with excitement when I caught sight of Hoseok approaching on his ski board. I alternated between videos and pictures, jumping with excitement when he stopped before us smoothly.

I showed him the photos as he decided to stay with me so Jimin and Taehyung could take the chairlift back up the mountain, and I rambled happily as I showed him the pictures and videos I’d taken, not getting adequate time to go through everything when Jin appeared.

I gasped and centered the camera, watching with amazement as he easily maneuvered the slope, in complete awe as he even performed a few tricks. Jungkook was about ten seconds behind him, enjoying himself if his grin from afar was anything to go by, and when Jin made a smooth exit from the slope, my jaw was still hanging.

He chuckled, tipping it up to close it and kissing me. “Did you like that?”

I was panting when he pulled away, amazed by his show of excellence, unsure of what he couldn’t do. “Yeah,” I managed.

Hoseok teased lightly, “Who are you staying with tonight?”

“Jin,” I answered immediately, blushing when their chuckles surrounded me. “It was so cool!” I defended myself, red hot from the cold, and what Jin’s impressive skills did to me. “I didn’t know he could do that,” I whispered-yelled. “I liked it!”

“A lot,” Hoseok pointed out light-heartedly.

“Hoseok,” I complained, a blushing mess as Jin consoled me with kisses as they both chuckled at my pink cheeks.

“You’re fine,” Jin told me, squeezing my lower back and offering my ass a light pat. His chuckle when I squeaked made me feel dizzy with need. “Are you finished with skiing, hm? Content to stay here and watch?”

“I want to ski again,” I said hopefully, still blushing.

Jungkook came to a stop, out of breath but happy. “I win!”

I lifted the camera. “I took pictures!”

“You’re pink,” he pointed out, lifting his goggles and helmet to wipe his forehead. “Are you too cold?” He looked concerned. “Maybe you aren’t enough of a ducky today.”

I whined, “I’m fine. Jin and Hoseok were teasing me.”

Jungkook looked intrigued. “About what?”

“Don’t be nosy,” I insisted, embarrassed.

“But you’re pink!”

“Because I’m embarrassed!”

He giggled. “Is it because Jin did cool tricks?”

I sputtered before smacking his chest in retribution, earning laughter from the three of them.

When my other men reappeared, a few of them decided to switch to snowboarding. I wanted to try it too, so we went to the ski resort to buy me one. They claimed it was my Christmas present, denying my offers to pay. I was too excited to pout for long, and back at the top of the mountain, I started off strong before falling.

I got up, but snowboarding was harder for me without the ski poles. I kept trying though, and by the time I reached the bottom of the slope, I was out of breath, flushed, tired, and my body hurt from the impact of falling.

Yoongi was at the bottom of the slope, looking just as tired as me. He had been quick on the ski board, and I hadn’t seen him because after his first time, he used the other ski slope for tricks. It turned out that he and I weren’t the best snowboarders in our little group.

“We should sneak off,” I told him once I caught my breath enough for words. “Into the ski resort.”

He started to smile. “Hot chocolate?”

I beamed. “Hot chocolate.”

We texted the others so they would know our destination and prevent any worry, and we warmed up in the ski resort as we talked over hot chocolate and a warm pastry.

The others joined us an hour later, still energized but tired enough for a break, and their relatives joined us in the ski resort, too. It was easier to strike up conversation when I was in a good mood with my men around, and since a few of their fathers were there—Hoseok’s, Taehyung’s, and Yoongi’s—I tried to delve into conversations and join as much as I could.

It was a bit difficult to join when they talked so quickly, their different dialects strong and their louder laughter intimidating me slightly, but they were kind and listened to me intently whenever I had something to add. It made me feel better, and after a few successful attempts at joining the conversation, I was content to listen unless they roped me back in.

When I grew tired, Jin took over and began answering in my place, and their relatives and parents took the hint and eased off, still sending smiles my way to ensure I felt welcomed. I did feel like that, and my content smile remained as I finished my hot chocolate and pastry.

I was too tired to go back on the slopes, but everyone, excluding Yoongi and me, wanted to try the obstacle course, so we waved goodbye as they left and hung out in the ski resort. Yoongi and I had fun with a few puzzles the ski resort offered and a board game we figured out how to play together, and during it, Yoongi’s father returned, stating he changed his mind and would rather rest.

He joined our game, and I watched his and Yoongi’s dynamic with rapt focus. His father was more stern, and his Daegu dialect was strong, but he held firm kindness for Yoongi, and he showed it through plenty of back pats and rough grunts meant for praise when Yoongi won a round. It made me happy to see their bond, and I smiled to myself as I played the board game with them.

The conversation shifted to Yoongi’s music, his father intrigued to see what he was working on, and Yoongi’s features grew more animated as he spoke of recent work, even talking about the song he and Namjoon created for me.

They spoke of musical techniques, new writing techniques, and computer systems he was using to create, and I listened in fascination as he and his father spoke.

I knew the old music system Yoongi used to use, but he had changed it out a few months ago. He also no longer used his phone for lyrics; he strictly wrote on paper only, whether it be a notepad, sticky note, or notebook. He said it was good to differentiate and let his phone be for distraction instead of work, and he spoke quickly with fervor over his creation process.

He enjoyed it thoroughly, and I listened with my heart bursting. He used to speak badly about his music and process, stating he didn’t like what feelings his music evoked because he wasn’t sure how to respond to it, but he was growing into new music, new techniques that fit his style better, and learning more about what worked best for him, and I felt so proud. By the look on his father’s face, he did, too.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Yoongi’s mother appeared, donning ski goggles with a chunky coat. Her gloves were sticking out of her right pocket, close to falling, and Yoongi leaned forward to catch them just in time.

She scolded him, telling him she could’ve done it herself, but kissed his cheek as she took a seat at our small table.

I bowed my head. “Hello.”

She sucked air in through her teeth. “What are you wearing?”

I blinked in my position, my eyes still trained on my ski pants. “Ski clothing?” I guessed.

“You’re not dressed enough!” she chastised, tutting and getting to work putting her gloves on my hands to warm me—although I wasn’t sure she took into account how cold they were from being outside seconds ago. “You need to layer yourself properly!”

When she finished pushing the gloves onto my hand, Yoongi said, “She’s dressed appropriately; she’s not cold, otherwise she would’ve said so.”

His mother tutted and pointed at him. “And you; where are your gloves?”

“In my ski bag,” he said calmly. “Beneath the table. We are inside where it’s warm.”

She heaved a loud sound of annoyance before waving her hand dismissively. “I am the best dressed here as always; people never learn how to layer correctly when they ski.”

Yoongi’s father huffed out a laugh. “You’re layered full of arrogance for everyone at the ski resort.”

I looked at them, startled at the sudden bickering, barely able to heed Yoongi’s swift removal of his mother’s gloves, only recognizing they were off when his hands warmed mine up and down. Negating the cold his mother’s gloves offered me, he kept my hands in his to provide heat, and I glanced at him gratefully and with slight alarm due to his parents’ argument, but as quickly as their bickering began, it ended with loud laughter and quips of mirth disguised with annoyance.

They were teasing.

My shoulders slumped with relief, and Yoongi offered a small smile.

“It’s their dynamic,” he said for our ears only. “Their love language.”

They were so different from Yoongi, and I managed a nod as I watched their version of flirting. In some way, it reminded me of Cheverie and Lyric, although Yoongi’s parents were a bit more obvious with how their voices dipped at the end of their sentences, showing their care for each other, not aiming to truly sting.

People were interesting, I concurred. Flirting like this would only make me frazzled and uncomfortable, but different things worked for different people, and Yoongi’s parents were clearly having a good time, so I settled beside him and enjoyed our dynamic; quiet and relaxing with our wordless communication, contribution of our eyes.

His parents mellowed out with their flirting, and it turned into regular conversation with light, teasing digs throughout the board game we added his mother to.

“I know Yoongi took my gloves off of you,” his mother announced in the middle of Yoongi’s turn.

I smiled sheepishly, unsure of what else to do, but Yoongi cut in with his eyes on the board game, “Yes, because she didn’t need them.”

His mother held out her hand. “Back to me.”

After he rolled the dice, he retrieved the gloves and relinquished them to her, squeezing her hand fondly before pulling away.

She hid her smile and pushed the gloves into her pocket. “Don’t worry, Faeryn. Your Christmas gift is a pack of gloves.”

His father rubbed his temples. “That is not how Christmas gifts work, you know this. How many times do I have to tell you the fun of it is keeping it a surprise?”

“Enough times that you should know I don’t care,” she responded in a sing-song voice, and her playful tone made me giggle.

She winked at me.

Back at the house with everyone finally tired out from the ski slope, we had a big dinner, and once the children were in bed, most of the older teenagers migrated to the game room further in the house, keeping the volume to a minimum because of their distance.

We took the opportunity to exchange gifts with my men’s parents, and it was enjoyable, keeping a smile on my face that hurt my jaw from holding it up. I loved every second of it, elated that their parents loved my gifts, and I loved each gift I received. Most of the gifts were clothes, but I was floored when I opened Jungkook’s parents’ gift to see multiple clothing options for a baby.

I stared at them in somewhat horror, lifting my eyes slowly to look at them, wondering if we were about to embark on the grandchildren conversation. Yoongi’s father caught my expression and exploded with laughter, making his wife scold him furiously while trying not to laugh herself.

“No, no, no,” Jungkook’s father was quick to cut in, a dark red creeping onto his complexion. Stammering, he tried to explain, but when he failed, Jungkook’s mother explained, “It’s for your Stuffins!”

“My…” I nearly shuddered with relief. “Mr. Stuffins. These are clothes for him.”

“We do still want grandchildren,” Jimin’s father said, earning a look from Jimin that caused him to smile sheepishly and claim, “What? It’s true.”

Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Time and place, father. Time and place.”

His father grinned and rubbed his neck meekly, yelping when Jimin’s mother shoved him and exclaimed, “Time and place!”

I gaped at everyone, turning slowly to Jimin. “Jimin?” I squeaked in question.

“No, honey, no,” he reassured me, pulling me closer to him on the couch. “We’re not having this discussion unless you want to have it. It’s forever with us, children or not. Okay? That is not a conversation unless you want it to be.” He sent his parents a chilling look, making them both squabble and claim their innocence regarding the topic. Turning to me, his tone softened. “Okay?”

Embarrassed and shy, I nodded and shifted closer to him, not too keen on opening any more presents.

Jungkook’s mom looked upset with herself. “I should’ve labeled them, lovely. I’m so sorry for the confusion.”

“No, it’s okay, Mom,” Jungkook defended her, nodding his encouragement. “It was just an accident.”

“He’s right,” Jungkook’s father sided with him, ruffling her hair playfully. “It’s for the Stuffins, not for grandchildren.”

She sent me an apologetic look, and I sat up just enough to relay, “It’s really okay. It was just a misunderstanding, and I really love them. They’re so cute.”

She relaxed a bit. “Really? I’m so happy to hear that. Jungkook measured your Stuffins for me, so I made sure they were the right size when I sewed them.”

“You sewed them?” I looked at them, clasping my hand over my mouth. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“I wanted to!” she exclaimed earnestly. “You made that beautiful pink sweater for Jungkook, and crocheting takes more time than sewing. It was nothing at all!”

I examined the clothing with wonder, slowly forgetting all about the grandchildren topic. “These are so special. Thank you so much! I’ll take such good care of them, of everyone’s gifts. Thank you so, so much!”

Everyone spoke their hearty responses, and I curled back up into Jimin as Jin squeezed my knee from the other side of me, keeping his hand there for firm reassurance and comfort.

Everyone stayed up a while later, sipping from wine or tea, and I started to doze off, holding Mr. Stuffin’s new clothes, my fingers paused in their tracing of the seams.

Jin lifted me, and my eyes opened in alarm, but he soothed me back into relaxation, cradling me bridal style out of the living room.

“I have to say goodnight,” I managed in my sleepy haze, struggling to lift my head from his chest. “And the clothes—have to keep them safe.”

“Jimin has the clothes,” Jin told me, easing my head back to his chest. Lifting his voice slightly but not enough to hurt my ears, he announced, “Faeryn says goodnight.”

Everyone echoed their goodnights, and I managed a wave before drifting further into sleep.

“Jin,” I mumbled as he put me on his bed. “I’m too tired to change.”

“Sit still,” he commanded, easing my shirt above my head. Once it was off, my arms remained in the air, but he didn’t notice until he turned back around from looking through his dresser. His smile peeked through. “Faeryn, you can put your arms down.”

I smacked my lips together tiredly. “What?”

Chuckling, he returned to me and lowered my arms. “Tired, hm?” He pulled one of his shirts over my head, long enough to cover me, and took my pants off.

I shivered. “Cold.”

Without further prompting, he found sweatpants and helped me into them. They were too big, and I fell onto my back, lifting my hips as I shimmied them up to my stomach.

“Too big,” I complained fitfully, yawning as sleep caused a wave of grumpiness to wash over me.

“You’re going to sleep.” He pulled me to him, tugging his shirt off and putting it aside. As soon as he released me to put another pair of sweatpants on himself, I fell back again, unable to hold myself up.

His chuckles swarmed me, and I tried reaching for him, but all it earned me was another yawn and my arms flopping back to the bed.

“I’m tired,” I complained.

“Close your eyes.”

“No,” I refused.

“Close your eyes,” he repeated with more firmness than before, but amusement stained his tone, making me squirm.

“Not without you,” I answered.

The bed dipped, and I sighed with relief when he pulled me into his arms and draped the blankets over us.

“Jin,” I whispered contentedly. Kissing his chest, I made sure he knew, “You’re the coolest skier and snowboarder I’ve ever seen.”

I heard his smile. “You were the best first-time skier I have ever seen, and you did so well accommodating yourself today.” He kissed my forehead, exhaling deeply. “I am very proud of you.” Rubbing my back, his mouth dipped to my ear, making me shiver with appreciation. “Don’t worry yourself over our parents’ talk of grandchildren. It’s not something we need, and reiterating what Jimin said, our forever still stands with or without them.”

“How would that even work?” I mumbled, too sleepy to truly follow along with the topic. “I would have one baby for each of you?”

He chuckled deeply. “It would work the way you want it to work. You’re the woman, and you’ll carry the child if that’s what you desire. You have the complete say in how many children you have, if any, yes? The entire process is up to you and always will be.”

I mewled, enjoying how his words settled me. “I like the way you talk and make me feel better.”

“I’m glad the way I talk makes you feel better.” He kept his hand on my lower back, pressing me firmly against him. “Did you enjoy yourself today?”

I nodded languidly. “The ski resort was so fun, and my strawberry cup is fixed. Mr. Stuffins will be happy to have new clothes.”

“He is a very grateful old bear, is he not?”

“Oh, yes. The gratefullest.”

“Mm.” He caressed my hair as I began to fall asleep. “He is.”

“And you got him for me,” I whispered as I slipped away. “So I’ll always be more grateful than he is.” My hold on him loosened as sleep took me. “I love you, Jin.”

“I love you, Faeryn,” were the last words I heard as I drifted blissfully to sleep.

 

Notes:

I hope you're all enjoying these light-hearted chapters! I had a smile on my face writing them lol we have a couple more sweet chapters before our characters return home to some...well...drama, including a man whose name starts with the letter 'R', if you can guess who that is...!!!!!

We'll be seeing a lot of character development in everyone (except for that scumbag 😡), and I'm so excited to show you all these upcoming chapters that I've worked really hard on! I hope you all like them 🤗 These chapters will start coming out on 5/27/25 🤭

Have a great week, and remember to stay hydrated!! MWAH ♡

Chapter 53: Homebound Surprise

Summary:

Christmas Vacation is over, but first, Faeryn's men take her to a surprise destination that leaves her speechless.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

The third day of our Christmas vacation was our last, and I entered the kitchen groggily with Jin as Jungkook's cheerful voice came into view.

"Chandeliers can be made from glass, crystal, or wood," Jungkook rambled to his mom and the other parents as breakfast was made. It seemed like the fathers were in charge of breakfast as the mothers lounged around and sipped warm beverages. "The process of making a chandelier involves melting materials, shaping the glass or crystal, and assembling the parts, so it makes it really cool that these are mini chandeliers."

Jungkook held out the model of the house I had personally made for him. "See?" he exclaimed vigorously. "Faeryn got me this for Christmas. And did you know about crystal blowers?" When disagreement filled the air, he burst, "It uses a blowpipe to gather molten glass and shape it into the desired form using molds, right? But these chandeliers are made from wood, and they just have the prettiest crystals attached and a bell. A bell!" He flicked it with his fingers to make it ring, looking around excitedly. "See?"

"Wow," Jungkook's father approved. "That's impressively small."

"Yup!" Jungkook chirped. "Faeryn is the best gifter, no offense, hyungs. I really like all my gifts, but you can't beat chandeliers."

Light laughter filled the room, and Taehyung teased, "What about our cameras?"

"Chandeliers," Jungkook decided, turning with surprise when I kissed his head. "Faeryn!"

"Jungkook," I murmured sleepily, lacing my arms around his neck for a tight hug. "I didn't know you brought your gift."

"I wanted to show my parents," he told me giddily. His happiness was contagious, and I found myself smiling before I was fully awake. "Everyone likes it!"

Agreement occurred, and I squeaked with surprise when he pulled me onto his lap, settling me into place proudly.

"Here." He brought the model house toward me, bringing my finger to ring the bell. "You can ring it for me."

I did so mindlessly, resting my face on his chest as I used his shirt to cover my yawn. It was helpful for stimulation, slowly easing me into a regulated state of mind as the birds chirped their greetings from outside.

"It will be a slow day today," Hoseok's mother relayed. "A lot of us left early this morning, and others will leave after breakfast."

"We'll leave after lunch," Jin responded, passing his hand through my hair before ruffling Jungkook's.

"We hardly have enough time to see you," Jin's father spoke up. "This house is owned for a reason."

"We'll make it a focus to meet here more often," Jin answered. "But with our comeback arriving, it might not be for a while."

His father sighed. "Having popstar children is shit."

His wife smacked his arm. "Language."

"We're all adults here," he mumbled, sipping his coffee as he opened the rice cooker. "Shit, did you do this?" He pointed the spoon at Taehyung's father. "You were the last one here, so you're the one who burned the rice."

The accused pointed right back. "Hands on it, your problem now."

Jin's father gaped. "Scoundrel."

Taehyung's father smirked as he picked grapes off their stems for the breakfast fruit tray. "Better fix that burnt rice."

Jin shook his head at the squabbling, ignoring it and finding the tea kettle. After pouring my tea how he knew I liked it, he grabbed a coffee and returned to me, walking over to Namjoon once he ensured I was settled with Jungkook to talk in low tones I couldn't make out.

With the straw in my tea, Jungkook navigated it to my lips as I continued ringing the bells, their cute chimes leaving a lovely lingering essence.

I fell back to sleep, jolting awake when a serving was placed in front of me.

Jungkook patted my hair gently. "It's okay, just breakfast."

I tried to wake up, but skiing took most of my stored energy, and my body hurt from falling. Still, I yawned and sat up.

"Thank you," I said to no one in particular, unsure who truly made breakfast when everyone was fussing over it. However long it took to make a new portion of rice, it was perfectly not burnt.

Jin's father responded proudly, "You're welcome."

So I assumed he made the new portion of rice.

Lifting the chopsticks to my lips, I chewed languidly, tuning back in as I realized more people had arrived since my quick nap. It was easy to push back the volume when I was teetering between sleep and reality, and Jungkook's light thigh bouncing helped me regulate and stay calm—my earplugs, bulky headphones on top of them, and sunglasses, too.

After everyone ate, Jungkook helped me to my feet and walked me upstairs, stating we would dress up and match today. I clung to his hand, nodding and going along with him.

"So!" he said brightly when we entered the room he was sharing with Taehyung. "Taehyung and I were roommates because I didn't want to sleep alone."

My features scrunched. "Why didn't you sleep with Namjoon?"

He wiggled his brows mischievously. "To build the tension."

I started to grin. "Good idea."

He grinned in return. "I know." Lifting me, he twirled me around before setting me on his bed. "Let's pick something to wear!"

I rubbed my eyes as he sorted through his suitcase, packed for the most part. "Did we bring any of our matching clothes?"

"Of course! I put yours in just in case you forgot."

"You did?" I smiled brightly. "Thank you."

"Yup!" he chirped, lifting comfortable lavender loungewear. "Purple today?"

I nodded, pleased. "Purple today."

He raced to retrieve my suitcase, which happened to be in Hoseok's room, and bringing it back, he located my purple loungewear.

We dressed together—he helped me, happy to fuss over me although I claimed I could do it—and he tugged me into the bathroom to do our morning skincare together. I didn't really have a routine, but he loved to take care of his skin, enjoying how smooth and moisturizing the products felt on his skin, so I went along for his sake.

I tried a dollop of each product before committing to it on my face, and I liked almost everything he used, making us both happy.

Using his new pink bubble headband, he gave me the blue one he always used. "For you!"

I caught sight of my smile in the mirror, pausing when I realized it was my real one, not the practiced one I used to hide my teeth and ensure I looked like everyone else. It faded slightly, and Jungkook caught on quickly, cupping my face—moisturizer painting his hands and all—and whispered earnestly, "Your smile is beautiful."

With his excess moisturizer, he painted a smiley face on my cheek. "You're beautiful."

My smile slowly peeked its way back through, and at first, I tried not to look at it, but Jungkook lit up as soon as it returned, making me look back and wonder what was so special about it. It just looked real, like the me I tried to mask, but Jungkook breathed out, "So pretty."

And I melted and kept my smile, peeking into the mirror quickly before looking away and shifting closer to him for comfort, not used to noting my real smile instead of tucking it away for the practiced one.

"So, so pretty," he gushed, kissing the corners of my mouth. "The blue looks good on you."

"Not as good as on Taehyung," I decided, giggling when Jungkook poked my nose and left a dollop of moisturizer.

"You look better," he sang. "Taehyung will agree with me."

I stuck my tongue out, and he kissed the tip of it, making me squeal. Giggling, he returned to his skincare, walking me through the steps and motioning for me to follow. I listened, curled close to his side until our arms were linked and we worked in tandem.

Finished, we locked arms as we strolled downstairs, receiving lots of compliments from children with sticky hands from breakfast. I waved to them, thanking them and pretending to start chasing them so they wouldn't dirty our clothes. Jungkook copied me, and as children shrieked with laughter and ran, we unknowingly started a game of a tag we knew we couldn't ghost, so we chased children around, avoiding their sticky hands at all costs. The children soon realized this, and Jungkook and I were soon running for our lives.

Eventually, we managed to escape and hide in Namjoon's room, blinking at him when he entered not long after, blinking when Jungkook and I tripped over each other in our hurry to get away from him, thinking he was one of the children before coming fully into view.

He started to laugh. "Do I want to know?"

Jungkook helped me up, brushing my hair out of my face before doing the same to himself. "We were being attacked," he said, out of breath. "These kids don't wash their hands."

Namjoon's laughter grew, but Jungkook and I shushed him immediately, wide-eyed with our fingers to our lips.

"You'll alert the children," I whispered-yelled.

"You're both hiding?" he teased, locking his door much to our relief—and making us wonder why we hadn't done that sooner. "You're the adults; get your hands sticky with breakfast and chase them."

"They don't care about being sticky," Jungkook defended our stance. "That's why they're sticky in the first place."

"Ah, is that right? Well." Namjoon hummed, amused as he approached his suitcase. "Don't let me stop your cowardly hiding."

"Cowardly?!" I slammed my hand onto the floor, making his shoulders shake with muted laughter as he folded his pajamas into his suitcase. "We're being smart; there's a difference!"

"Mm, must be a small difference," he mused. "Because I can't see it, and the children giggling behind the door don't either."

As if one cue, the children erupted into laughter, knocking on the door and taunting us.

"You wouldn't," Jungkook said, gaping at Namjoon's betrayal.

Namjoon arched his brow. "Wouldn't I?"

"Namjoon," I pleaded. "We want to wear these clothes today."

"Adults," he reminded us, chuckling to himself. "And you're hiding."

"You know what?" Jungkook stood and attacked Namjoon, making the latter fall onto the bed due to the unexpectedness of it. "That's it!"

Namjoon laughed and tickled Jungkook in retribution, both of them laughing as they tousled on the bed. Taking my chance, I reached the door stealthily, opened it, and shouted, "Boo!"

The children screamed and ran, and I laughed mischievously as I locked the door once more. "That is how you adult."

I turned around to see Namjoon and Jungkook's tousling paused to look at me.

I blinked. "What?"

The burst into laughter, mimicking how I shouted 'Boo!', and I gasped solemnly, shaking my head with disappointment.

"It worked," I pointed out, one hand on my hip. "You both were just doing"—I gestured to them—"whatever it is you're doing."

"Huh, look at that," Namjoon teased. "Getting mouthy."

"Look at how pretty she looks though," Jungkook noted. "Purple looks good on her."

"Anything looks good on her." Namjoon's lips curled at the corners. "Except breakfast all over your clothes, hm?"

It was my turn to attack, but instead of Jungkook helping me like I hoped he would, he and Namjoon tag-teamed me with tickles, making me shriek with my giggled protests as Namjoon pulled my shirt up to allow Jungkook to blow raspberries on my stomach.

When I was sure I would lose any remaining air, they pulled my shirt down and kissed me to calm me down, laughing as we settled down.

On our backs as we stared at the ceiling, I sighed loudly.

They both mimicked me, laughing when I hit their arms.

"I'm happy," I stated. "It was a happy sigh."

"Ah," Namjoon teased. "A happy sigh."

I showed my fists. "I will use them."

"Yeah?" He shifted his arm closer, barely a motion, seeing how close we were. "Go ahead." I punched him, making him laugh in surprise. "Shit, Faeryn."

I shrugged, secretly pleased with myself. "What? You said I could."

Jungkook laughed so hard he almost rolled off the bed. "She actually punched you! Oh, I can't wait to tell hyungs."

Namjoon's form of revenge was blowing raspberries into my neck and tickling my sides, and I was back to barely breathing as laughter was squeezed out of me.

After lunch, we said our lengthy goodbyes, and I knew I would genuinely miss their parents, although we hadn't established a deep connection. It was there, and with time I knew we had, our relationships would flourish. No one left a bitter taste, and I knew they wouldn't; they were the ones who gave my men to me, and my men spoke so highly of them. I knew they wouldn't disappoint because my men never lied.

In the car back home, Jungkook told everyone about how I punched Namjoon—per his invitation, of course—and everyone laughed, especially Jin. From shotgun, Namjoon shot him a look, struggling to hide his smile and keep his stern front as Jin drove us home through his laughter.

I giggled, pleased with the reaction, and took videos on my camera, trading it once the laughter died out and conversation shifted to passing scenery. After the two-hour mark came up, I wondered, "Where are we going?"

"Hm?" Jimin asked from the seat in front of me.

"Where are we going?" I repeated, confused. "We're not going the same way we came anymore."

"Shh, just relax, honey. Take a nap."

"What?" I sat up straighter, immediately on high alert. "Are we not going home?"

"We're going home," he stated simply, but there was a twinkle in his eye.

"You wouldn't lie to me," I stated.

"Mhm, that's right."

"So..." I slowly sank back into my seat. "Are we taking a detour?"

"In a way, now sit back and relax."

I turned to Jungkook for assistance, but he had busied himself with looking through pictures on his camera, sharing what his gallery looked like with Taehyung, who did the same with his camera. Narrowing my eyes, I watched everyone very carefully as I scrolled through my camera for something to do.

Thirty minutes later, we pulled up to a hotel, and I stared out of the car window, flabbergasted. "What are we doing here?"

I didn't get a chance to repeat myself when Jaehyun, Lyric, and Cheverie exited the hotel with a trolley full of suitcases.

Struck with surprise and confusion, my jaw dropped as I watched them approach the car, jolting when the car beeped to alarm me that the doors were opening.

"Where is my best friend?" Lyric demanded cheerfully, a hand on her hip and the other shading her eyes from the sun.

It was enough to make me spring into action, and although terribly confused, I unbuckled myself and hurried out of the car.

She saw me immediately, grinning and abandoning the trolley for me, earning a sharp protest from Cheverie, who had to steady the trolley on her own by consequence.

"Sorry, buttercup," Lyric called to her, both of us slamming into each other for a bone-crushing hug. "You'll forgive me, won't you?"

Cheverie spoke of her regrets and annoyance, but there was no real hostility in her tone, and I beamed as I hugged Lyric.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling away to jump up and down with her. "I missed you!"

"Three whole days," she fake sobbed. "And now I'll have to go without even more."

"What do you mean?" I wondered. "We're going back to HYBE tomorrow."

"Not quite," was Jaehyun's impromptu response, laughing when Jungkook lunged at him for a hug, catching him before the two of them could fall and leaving Cheverie to be the sole protector of the trolley, which was in danger of falling.

Hoseok chuckled and went to assist her, striking up simple conversation as they guided the trolley to the car.

"Are those our suitcases?" I pressed, my mind whirring. "What is going on?"

"We're going home." Jimin stole me from Lyric, wrapping his arm around my waist and tugging me flush to his side. "Like I said in the car."

"Then why do we have all this luggage?" I demanded to know.

"We kept it a surprise," Lyric said proudly. "We knew this whole time, the three of us."

She gestured to herself, Jaehyun, and Cheverie, who was fighting for her life to keep the trolley stable. Taehyung took it upon himself to help, and Cheverie grunted with relief when the job was completed.

Wiping her forehead, she mumbled, "Shit. Never ask me to do anything with these hassles again."

"Hassles?" Lyric shrieked. "That's worse than calling us assholes, what the hell?"

"Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth," Cheverie drawled. "You'll survive if you try hard enough."

Jimin chuckled a bit, and I could tell from his tense stature that he hadn't returned to fully trusting Lyric and Cheverie after what happened with us all, but he was trying—I could tell that, too.

Although confused because of the luggage, I kissed his side before demanding once more, "Where are we going?"

"Home," he responded with a wink. "That's all you're getting from any of us, now say your goodbyes."

"If we're going home, why do I have to say goodbye?!"

He chuckled and nudged me forward. "Come on, hurry up. We're on a schedule."

Gaping at him, I didn't get time to ruminate on the slight detail reveal and what it could mean as Lyric tugged me into another hug.

"I'll miss you," she groaned. "Ugh! When you got into a harem, I didn't realize they would steal you from me."

"Should've hid her away better," Jimin drawled, already stepping forward to take me back.

Lyric pivoted and hurried away with me. "Leave us be! A two-minute hug at most."

Cheverie approached with a sigh. "I came all this way."

Lyric sighed but opened her arms, and the three of us group hugged. I was smiling so big, I knew it as much as I knew it was my real smile.

Lyric squeezed the life out of Cheverie and me, but I don't think either of us minded—if not for Cheverie's grunts and huffs.

"Lyric," Jin warned from the car, closing the trunk once everything was loaded.

"Ugh, I know, I know, strict schedule." Lyric grudgingly released me. "I'll see you later, so don't miss me too much!"

Cheverie smiled a bit. "You have a good harem, Faeryn. Have fun."

"Fun?" I echoed, looking back at her as Lyric shoved me forward despite me pushing my shoes into the ground to remain firmly planted until I gained any semblance of an answer. "Fun?!"

Lyric shoved me into the car and chirped, "Goodbye, dear friend! See ya when I see ya!"

I put my hands on the window as I watched her, Cheverie, and Jaehyun wave. "What. in. the. world."

My men chuckled as Jin drove us back onto the main roads.

"Be patient," Namjoon teased. "You can be patient, can't you?"

"Yes!" I insisted. "But that doesn't mean I want to be!"

"Hands off the window," Jin instructed me.

"You can't make me from the front seat," I braved.

"You don't want to make me do anything, Faeryn."

I slowly lowered my hands from the window with a long, drawn-out sigh. "Jin, just tell me where we're going."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Namjoon?"

He leaned his seat back slightly, not enough to bump Yoongi's knees. "No."

Yoongi slept on, oblivious to the chaos, and I wondered if he was as in the dark as I was—or if he was just being smart and sleeping to avoid questions. I wasn't sure if he could keep anything from me.

I stared at him, wondering if he was actually asleep. "Yoongi," I whispered.

"Leave him, Faeryn," Namjoon laughed. "He's sleeping."

I slumped in my seat. "Just checking."

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the airport.

"We're not going home!" I blurted. "You lied!"

"We didn't lie," Jungkook refuted, giddy at being a part of the secret. "We are going to a home."

"What?!"

"Let's go!"

We took our luggage inside, and I was able to snag a single one instead of multiple, since they all refused. I tried to get close to Yoongi for answers, but the way we were all set up, everyone kept me from doing so, and I wondered if it was on purpose.

After baggage claim, we went straight to board an airplane. We claimed a secluded area in first class, no one but us inside, and I could barely think straight.

"Please," I begged as Namjoon gestured to the middle seat.

He lifted a brow. "It's your seat, baby. You can have it."

"No," I explained. "Please tell me where you're going, or let me go to Yoongi."

He laughed lightly and pushed me into the seat gently. "Do you need to use the bathroom, or are you ready to sit? Yes or no answers are accepted only."

"I—"

"Wrong answer."

He seated me in the middle, let Jungkook claim the window seat, and sat on the other side of me. "Nice and caged in." He squeezed my inner thigh. "Let this be a surprise and enjoy it. You'll know when we land." He amended, "Not exactly when we land, but you'll know afterward. Soon. And don't ask when you'll know because you'll know."

I whined loudly, "Yoongi!"

"Yes?" His voice was muffled from another part of the plane, but Namjoon's firm grip was keeping me from moving to see.

"Where are we going?"

He didn't respond, and Jimin praised from another part of the plane, "Good boy."

Yoongi responded then. "I despised that."

Jimin cackled, and Jin chuckled from his seat on the opposite side of Namjoon, Jungkook, and me, so I could see him perfectly fine. Taehyung was with him, and he was showing off his pictures proudly.

I gave up on getting any answers and decided on a roll call instead. "Hoseok?"

"I'm with Yoongi, sweetheart."

Knowing everyone was present, I sagged in my seat. "Okay."

"Just relax, hm? There's a TV in your seat; Namjoon will open it for you."

On cue, Namjoon opened a compartment that revealed a TV.

"Wow," I said in one breath, remembering afterward to cross my arms as if I wasn't interested. "I mean, it's just a TV."

"On a plane," Jungkook bribed.

I pressed it, getting lost in browsing the options and only pausing when the pilot spoke overhead to announce we were moving.

Namjoon secured my bulky headphones back on my head, chose a movie for me—Jurassic Park—and cupped the side of my cheek closest to Jungkook, easing my face into his shoulder to be partially hidden. I didn't question it much, only blinking a few times to get used to it, but I recognized why when turbulence began.

"Namjoon," I whispered, suddenly extremely grateful I hadn't claimed the window seat.

"I'm here, baby. Turbulence is normal." He kept me close to him. "Just watch the movie; it'll be steady in a minute."

He never lied, so I tried to settle, starting to relax when the plane evened out. I didn't dare look at the window, and Namjoon's hold didn't let up, not giving me the option to. Eventually, Jungkook pulled a shade down over the window, and I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that the temptation to look evaporated.

Jungkook set his camera down with a frown. "It ran out of charge."

"Yoongi has a portable charger," Taehyung revealed. "He let me use it earlier."

Jungkook pivoted and held his hand out. "Hyung, can I have it?"

"Yeah, hold on, it's in my bag," Hoseok responded. Seconds later, he arrived with the portable charger.

"Thanks, hyung!" Jungkook beamed. "Now I can take more pictures when the sun sets."

"That will be pretty," Hoseok agreed, fondness staining his words. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Confused," I mumbled, chewing on the neck of my shirt. "And watching Jurassic Park."

"Is the Monolophosaurus in this one?"

I sighed. "No. They're only in Camp Cretaceous."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. What's your favorite dinosaur that shows up in this movie?"

"The Velociraptor. I can't look at you," I told him. "Because Namjoon won't let me move."

"It's because you're scared of heights," Hoseok responded gently. "He's just keeping you safe."

"I'm impatient," I mumbled. "How long is the plane ride?"

"A little over seven hours."

"Seven?!"

"Seven men, seven hours," Jimin said proudly.

Hoseok kissed the top of my head, and I relaxed despite myself. "Just relax; Namjoon's got you, and all the Jurassic movies are on the TV. Think of it as a marathon, and you'll be tired soon."

I sighed but listened, knowing there wasn't anything else to do, and I craved Namjoon's safety on the plane, eventually falling asleep a few hours in.

Namjoon woke me up gently, murmuring comfort as he lifted me into his arms and carried me off the plane. I was quiet and wanted to cuddle, content with my face in his arm as the warm air of the night greeted us.

It was only then that I partially woke up. It was winter; it shouldn't be warm. Lifting my head, I blinked as I looked around.

"Shh," Namjoon soothed. "We'll be there quicker if you nap on the way."

Too tired to disagree, I curled my hands next to my face and remained pliant as he carried me into the airport. We were only in there for a few minutes, escorted into a car as our luggage was carried out to us.

I was awake now but still quiet, struggling to figure out where we were. The road signs began pointing me in the correct direction, but my mind was muddled with sleep, keeping me confused. It didn't click, not until we turned into a familiar neighborhood. My neighborhood.

Home.

I scrambled to unbuckle myself, but Namjoon was prepared, keeping my buckle in place until the driver parked. Once they had, I breathed heavily, unsure if I could run to my home as much as I wanted to. Was it still my home? Did someone else live in it now that my parents were gone?

"You can go," Namjoon murmured. "It's ours for the week."

I didn't dare question it, racing out of the car and to the home I missed so dearly. It was Christmas, it was warm outside, and I was home.

My side of California felt as good as I remembered it.

Jin's long strides took him to me before I could fumble too long with the doorknob, turning the key and opening the front door. I paused then, uncertain of what awaited me, but everything was the way it was when I left when my parents died, and I went to live with my grandparents.

Dumbstruck, I backed up.

"It's okay." Jin put a hand on my back, keeping me stable. "The elderly couple who live here liked how your parents kept it. Everything's the way it was."

"Elderly couple?" I croaked. "Where...where are they?"

"They're being paid handsomely to live in a beach house for a week, somewhere with their children, so they're cared for." He breathed deeply. "We're here for a week, Faeryn. You're home for Christmas."

I couldn't breathe, but it was all I wanted, and I wasn't frozen anymore. I hurried inside, turning the lights on, remembering exactly where the switches were and where the light shone to guide me. I went to my parents' room first, and although there was a different bed and blankets, the rest of the furniture was the same. The loveseat my mother sat in to read a good book or brush my hair in the morning and before bed was still there, and I ran to it, curling up and remaining very still.

My parents weren't here anymore, but their essence was, and I was so relieved to be home with the seven men who created a home for me back in Korea after my grandparents passed when I moved there, after I met Ryker and worked at HYBE. My men found me, and now, they brought me back.

If I closed my eyes, it felt like my mother was nearby. Like my father was cooking dinner downstairs with his gentle hums and lights, calls for my mother and me to join him.

I felt myself smiling into the loveseat's cushion, and I curled closer to it, tearing up as I remembered my parents.

An entire week.

My men had outdone themselves.

꧁꧂

 

"This is my room," I told my men as I gave them a tour of my home. They were very polite, not touching anything unless I told them they could. "I don't know who lives in it now since an elderly couple lives here, but maybe grandkids when they come to visit?"

"Most likely," Taehyung confirmed.

I turned just in time to catch his miniature smile. "What?" I wondered.

"This is your room," he said softly. "Where little Faeryn hung out."

My smile appeared. "Yeah. Little Faeryn loved it here." My heart felt like it could burst. "She still does." I exhaled sharply. "I can't believe they kept almost all the furniture. It's all the same except for the beds."

"Beds are personal," Jin noted.

"Yeah," I agreed, looking around my room and sighing with appreciation when I saw the butterflies against the wall. "My grandmother and I put these up. See? They're like 3D, but they can stick to the wall. Kind of like cut-outs!"

Jungkook wondered, "Can I touch, or is that not okay?"

"You can," I confirmed, eager to share something that used to be mine. "Just be careful."

"I will," he attested, stepping forward and looking back at me for confirmation once more before gently touching a butterfly. "Oh! It is 3D."

"Yeah!" I hurried over, barely breathing as my fingertips touched what my grandmother and I created. "It is."

"Your grandmother was really nice to help you with this," he told me earnestly. "They're so pretty."

"She was," I said assiduously. "The kindest, just like my grandfather and parents." I took another deep breath. "Do you want to see the other rooms? I...I want to see if they kept the chair my grandfather made for me."

They did. It was perched near the corner of the kitchen, and the very sight evoked my tears. "It's here," I whispered brokenly, running my fingers over it. "It's really here." I couldn't sit in it anymore, I'd outgrown it, and imagining little Faeryn sitting in it proudly for the first time after my grandfather furnished it made my heart fill.

"Grandpa, I'm an adult now!" I chirped excitedly, swinging my legs happily. "I can sit at the adult table!"

My parents and grandparents laughed but didn't discourage me, setting me up right at the kitchen table where I sat every day anyway, but now I had a special chair, and everything was so exciting.

"Look at our girl," my father exclaimed proudly. "All grown up."

I wish I hadn't grown up quite so fast.

My eyes stung, and lifting the chair as easily as my grandfather once had, I held it as I turned to take the rest of the kitchen in.

"Home," I said, unsure if I was capable of saying anything else.

There were air mattresses my men had sent here, and we set up on them in the living room after having snacks in the place of dinner. Jin decided we were all tired, but I was sure he was taking my exhaustion into account, wanting something in my stomach before I fell asleep, even if it was a few packaged dumplings.

"It even smells like them a little," I whispered, basking in the familiarity of the lamp's gentle glow. "That's my favorite lamp."

"It's a beautiful lamp," Yoongi responded from beside me. I missed him after being kept apart for the sake of this secret, so I insisted his air mattress was right next to me. "It's gentle on the eyes."

"Yes," I agreed, pleased. "It's the best."

I left my air mattress for his after we wordlessly communicated with listless stares and tapping, and he pulled me under the blankets with him, wrapping me into his arms.

"Uh-oh," Jimin commented, but his usual tease was softer. Gentle. "An empty bed."

"You all kept me from Yoongi," I accused, but I was too at home to be upset. "Because he wasn't able to keep a secret from me."

"Correct," Namjoon chuckled.

"I was nervous," Yoongi admitted. "I am not very good at keeping secrets, and you vigorously wanted to know."

"I did," I agreed. "But I'm glad it was a secret, even if I was really impatient. I missed my home even if you're all my home now." I lifted my face above the blankets so I could see everyone. "My home is at home."

"We are," Hoseok murmured. "Thank you for sharing it with us."

"You knew I wanted to come here," I said after a moment. "That it wouldn't be too...overwhelming. How?"

"We know you like you know us," Jin responded. "We knew you needed this, and with the topics arising in therapy, we knew you needed a comfort only home can bring."

"So you brought me home," I whispered, dazed. "I...I don't know how to thank you."

"You don't have to."

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"We will do anything for you," he returned just as quietly but with more firmness in his tone. Resolute, like he would never change his mind, and I knew he wouldn't.

"I know." I latched onto Yoongi, craving the comfort of being held and the usual warmth of his hoodie. "And I would do anything for all of you."

"Sweet girl," Jimin murmured.

"Let's get some sleep," Namjoon said when a sudden hush fell over the room, everyone tired and somber in the dim light of the living room's lamp. "We have exploring to do tomorrow if Faeryn feels like showing us around her town."

I lit up tiredly. "Yes, I want that, please."

"Then let's sleep," he returned kindly. "Close your eyes and sleep, baby. All of you."

"I am not your baby," Yoongi said.

The room paused before scattered laughter sounded.

"It was a joke," Yoongi made sure I knew, growing a bit red.

I kissed his cheek, and he relaxed. "It was a good joke."

"You just don't tell them often, hyung," Jungkook explained good-naturedly. "We weren't expecting it."

"Well." Yoongi cleared his throat. "I wanted to try."

"It was a very good joke," Jin spoke as he settled into his air mattress.

"A nice laugh before bed," Taehyung concurred, and I could hear his grin before I turned to see it. He offered me a smile when we made eye contact, and I returned it wholeheartedly.

"Sleep," Namjoon warned us.

"Hyung," Jungkook whispered urgently.

"Come here for a kiss, bub."

Several yelps sounded—mainly from Jimin and Taehyung—as Jungkook scrambled to get to Namjoon, giggling mischievously as he claimed his kiss but yelping when Jimin and Taehyung claimed their revenge with pinches on his way back to his air mattress.

Before I could ask, Namjoon was beside me, giving me a kiss before returning to his area much more gracefully than Jungkook had.

I gave everyone else an air kiss, too tired to move around, and they promised to kiss me tomorrow.

With their promises rotating in my mind, I fell asleep in Yoongi's arms quickly, exhausted and relieved to be home.

Notes:

Did you all expect this to be the surprise? 🤭 What do you think? 👀
They are all off on some exploring next week! they're such cuties

Chapter 54: Beautiful Homecoming (to Myself, at Long Last)

Summary:

Faeryn shows her men around her hometown, and after a week's stay at her childhood home, they return home to prepare for their comeback. However, things take a sudden turn at the end of Faeryn's shift at HYBE.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Making breakfast in my parents’ house was foreign after so long. The utensils, plates, pots, and pans were different, but the setup was the same. Some things hadn’t changed, and I took comfort in the marks on the countertops, courtesy of when I was a child, figuring out how to use a knife with my father.

We made waffles for breakfast, having just the right ingredients for it, and we ate heartily but mostly in silence. My men were being cautious, ensuring I was okay with them “treading” in my home. Setting my fork down, I told them, “You don’t have to be nervous. You opened your home to me, remember? My home is your home. Although…” I sipped my orange juice. “Let’s not break anything because technically it isn’t my home anymore.”

They didn’t respond, only exchanged a glance, and I was quick to reassure them, “It was just a joke. I’m okay.”

“No, we know,” Jimin responded for everyone.

Jin cut in smoothly, “Let’s eat and go take our walk.”

Everything was within walking distance, and as we walked, they became more talkative, asking questions about sights and where I visited most as a child. I told them funny, fond stories, glad I could elicit their laughter and smiles.

We entered a frozen yogurt shop around noon, and it was connected to a pizza parlor, so we enjoyed our dessert and lunch before heading back out.

My favorite shops were still around—it had only been three years—but it was a relief to see them still thriving. A select few were neurodivergent friendly, catered more towards Autistics, and I selected a few fidget toys and gadgets for when I returned to my home in Korea. My men let me pay this time, finding my reasoning more than enough. I told them, “I told my mom that I would spend money here instead of her always paying for me.”

With my goodies, we journeyed back onto the street. My smaller town was peaceful, especially during the holidays, and I marveled at the Christmas decorations that were always out this year, just as they always were.

I took as many pictures as possible on my camera and recorded Jungkook and Taehyung doing the same as they goofed around. After our day came to an end, I took them to my favorite Chinese restaurant.

The restaurant owners recognized me, and with the limited Chinese that I knew—and had only learned because of them since I was a baby—I exchanged pleasantries and ordered for my men and me.

Once we were seated, the owners brought us extra food, and the wife told me my family was always looking out for me. I teared up and ate the wonderful food heartily, thanking her graciously.

“This is incredible,” Taehyung noted as we ate.

“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed, wide-eyed and cautious as he looked around. “Faeryn, I…I didn’t know you could speak Chinese.”

“I can’t,” I responded absently, my eyes flickering around as I recalled memories here with my family. “Just a few phrases.”

“You sounded really cool,” he told me, and I tuned back in just enough to smile at him.

From beside me, Jin kissed my head protectively, and I could feel his watchful gaze before I turned to meet it. “Is there anywhere you would like to go from here?”

“Home,” I responded. “I want to go home.”

After we finished dinner and I said my goodbyes to the owners, I walked home with my seven men. Exhausted, I refused to shower, not ready to use the area I once claimed as mine. It felt too intimate, especially after knowing other people had used it since then.

Namjoon assured me everything had been professionally cleaned before we came, courtesy of them and not the elderly couple, but I didn’t want to shower. I wanted to sleep in my mother’s loveseat.

In my parents’ room, which now belonged to the elderly couple, I curled into the chair and stayed by myself for a full hour before a knock sounded.

I didn’t answer at first, but when the second knock arrived, I called quietly, “Come in.”

Namjoon entered and closed the door behind him, crouching in front of the loveseat where I refused to move. Rubbing my leg lightly, he offered a squeeze.

“How are you?” he asked softly.

“I’m home.”

“You are.” He continued rubbing my leg, keeping me grounded. “How is that making you feel?”

“Happy,” I eventually concurred. “Sad. Tired. But I’m happy I’m here again. I…I didn’t think I ever would be again, and when I left, everything happened so fast. I was practically shipped on the airplane to my grandparents by the authorities after my childhood therapist at the time told them what happened, and then…I lived with my grandparents before they passed.”

I sniffled. “I felt like I never got to say a proper goodbye to my home, but now I can.”

He let me breathe for a moment. “Do you want to tell me about your childhood therapist? Talk about something different?”

I managed a nod. “Yeah, she was nice. She helped my parents find the psychologist who diagnosed me with Autism and ADHD, and she did speech therapy with me.” I blushed. “I didn’t talk much as a kid, and when I started to, I had a really bad stutter, so…sometimes it comes out, but speech therapy helped a little.”

“She helped you get to your grandparents,” he murmured.

“Yeah.” I teared up. “I…I wasn’t able to leave here by myself, I couldn’t really move—just like how it happened after my grandparents passed, but she was here, and Ryker was…there.”

“He’s not a threat to you anymore,” he rumbled, his hold on me tightening.

“I know,” I whispered. “But he was back then.”

He exhaled shortly, quiet for my sake.

My eyes peeked into his. “You’ve all been really quiet. Are you…trying to be polite?”

He breathed deeply. “We’re giving you space to process.”

“Oh.” I gnawed on my lip. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re walking on thin ice or…eggshells.”

“We don’t feel like that,” he assured me. “We’re being quiet so you can process. That’s all.”

“Okay.” I pushed my face into the loveseat. “I miss my parents, Joon.”

His voice was subdued. “I know, baby.”

“And this…is nice,” I formulated my words slowly, hoping they would make sense. “But it also makes me feel…sad because they’re not here. It’s just me like it was before I went to live with my grandparents.”

“It’s not just you.” He caressed my hair, and I nuzzled into his hand. “We’re here with you.”

“Yes,” I said quietly. “So I can say goodbye to my home.”

We basked in the silence, and I let the familiar sound of my parents’ fan whir to calm me. It was all so bittersweet.

“Joon?” I whispered.

“What do you need?”

“I don’t want to shower while we’re visiting.”

He nodded, and his understanding was a relief. “We can check into a hotel for a week and use their showers. How does that sound?”

“Good,” I breathed out. “Really good.”

“Good.” He kissed my forehead. “Then we’ll set that up before we sleep tonight, Jin and I.”

I managed my thanks before slipping off the couch into his arms. “My mom isn’t here anymore,” I told him, my words hushed. “But her favorite chair is.”

His hand warmed my back as he listened to me intently.

I sniffled. “Do you…well, maybe do you think that she would be okay if you sat with me in her chair?”

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully, keeping me close to him. “Did your mother like sharing her chair?”

“With me.” I nibbled my lip as I thought. “She said my chair was her chair.”

“Then it’s yours,” he murmured.

I stood and returned to the chair, hesitantly holding my hand out to him. “Sit with me, please?”

He collected me in his arms in my mother’s chair, and I curled up in his lap as his gentle caressing lulled me to sleep. The promise of a shower at a hotel in the morning was a relief, and on our way there when morning came, the others came along so we could take turns.

I didn’t like baths in strange tubs I wasn’t used to, so Namjoon and Jin joined me in the walk-in shower, pampering me and soothing their hands along my body as they helped me wash up. I was molten between them, leaning my head back on Jin’s shoulder as Namjoon cleaned my body, pulling my chest flush to him when Jin smoothed soap onto my back and shampooed my hair.

Feeling clean and loved, I entered the towel in a dreamy headspace, bounding over to the hotel bed where my clothes were neatly laid out—courtesy of Jimin. He chose a soft clothing combination and helped me dress, using his usual crooning tone to do so, and praising me each time one of my limbs poked through the clothing.

Successfully dressed, I found my smile and shone it up on him, claiming a few heartfelt kisses before he tugged Jungkook into the shower with him, calling over his shoulder, “Since Namjoon already showered.”

Jungkook groaned. “Hyung, we’re just showering.”

“Did I say we would do anything sexual?” Jimin pinched his ass, making Jungkook squeak and jump a few inches. “No, now quit whining and get in the shower. You don’t like showering alone in hotels.”

Jungkook pinched him back, squealing as he hurried to undress and jump into the shower. His peals of laughter were heard when Jimin joined him with a multitude of tickles.

Hoseok pulled me between his legs from where he sat, and I was teary-eyed and grateful as he brushed my hair, reminding me of my mother. I couldn’t believe how well I was loved—how completely in every sense of the word.

“I have an idea,” I chirped once everyone was showered and dressed. “There’s a clay painting place, but we have to drive there. Does everyone want to go?”

Their agreement was quick, and I beamed as Jungkook rambled excitedly about getting to paint. He claimed my hand as Jimin took the other, all of us walking downstairs to meet our escort. He was hired for the week, on call with our car whenever we needed. I wondered how expensive it was, but I didn’t get to ask, too caught up in how taken care of it made me feel to be swarmed by my men and their familiar smells in the car.

I pushed my cheek against Jin’s shoulder; he had nudged Jungkook to sit with Namjoon up front, and I smelled his Autumn Drive body wash greedily.

“Excited,” I spoke into his shirt.

He kissed my shoulder. “I’m excited to see you in action. You’ve used markers before.”

“Yeah, when my elbow was healing after surgery, but now I can use paints—just like Jungkook.” I smiled, content. “My grandmother and I used to go sometimes when she was visiting from Korea, and whatever we made, we put in my grandfather’s workshop. It was like our very own trinkets to match the ones he made.”

“That’s a very special tradition to have and remember.”

I nodded fervently, content to be quiet until we arrived, then I was content to talk and giggle as we found clay figures to paint and a table to sit at, everyone thoroughly enjoying themselves. We would have enough time for our clay projects to go through the furnace before we returned to Korea, and we were set to pick them up in a few days.

With each day that passed, my tears didn’t appear much, and I fell back into the routine of skipping around my house as if I were a child again, humming as I traced the banister and slid down it like I used to. I did things like this on my own, sneaking off into my room after a meal or during a board game to be quiet and do things that made up my childhood.

Playing games in the backyard with my men was my favorite, and I taught them a game called ‘manhunt’. We played it while it was dark, ensuring I was with someone at all times. We hid and ran, and our laughter filled the yard, along with startled yelps when someone was found and caught. It made the rest of us hiding try our hardest not to laugh.

We played outside for hours right into the early hours of morning, and at 2 AM, Jungkook and Taehyung were curled onto a picnic blanket we brought earlier, eyes closed as they slept peacefully.

A few of the others were scattered around, talking, leaning back, and enjoying the view of the stars. I pushed my feet lightly on the swing set. Yoongi was on the swing beside me, both of us swinging in blissful silence.

“I’m happy,” I whispered, just for us.

He turned to look at me, and his small smile peeked through, one hand holding the swing’s chain and one in his hoodie’s pocket.

I continued in a whisper, looking up at the stairs, “I didn’t think I could feel happiness like this after my family passed, but…it’s back.” My tears greeted my cheeks, cold yet reassuring, and I closed my eyes to enjoy the feelings coursing through me. “I’m happy again.”

It was a revelation that stuck with me for the rest of the trip, and a sense of freedom tore through me, filling up my childhood home with my laughter. My men eased into the setting when I did, and we were all almost constantly smiling, enjoying our time together.

Yoongi and I enjoyed the swing sets so much that Jin promised to arrange a set back home, and Yoongi and I shared an elated smile. He and I often stayed awake past the others, enjoying the quiet of the night as we sat on the swing set and talked about whatever came to mind. Now we could do the same back in Korea, and I couldn’t wait to bring a taste of my childhood home back to my current home. The differentiation in wording didn’t cause as much of a sting as I assumed it would, and I held onto that, too.

Healing had happened in the past three years, it seemed. It was gradual, speeding up slightly when I found the love of my seven men, my new and current home, and safety.

The day after we picked up our clay models, Jin sat me down at the kitchen table with Namjoon as the others occupied themselves elsewhere.

I waited expectantly, surprised when Jin proposed, “The elderly couple has assisted living here, but soon, they’ll be moving in with their children, and their children are looking to sell.”

I knew what it meant; I knew what he was offering me.

My pulse quickened as an assortment of feelings flooded over me. Could I truly get a piece of my childhood back—of my parents back?

I thought about it, and he and Namjoon waited patiently, letting me know to take all the time I needed.

Eventually, after a long, hard thought process, I inhaled deeply and exhaled my decision. “I think we should buy it and…sell it to a young family.”

Jin and Namjoon nodded slowly as they awaited further elaboration.

“It’s…well, it’s because my parents were young when they moved here and had me.” I wiped my nose tearfully, but I was smiling through it. “If we buy it and use it as a vacation home, then it will be empty, and I don’t want it to be empty. I want it to be full of love and laughter like it was this week. I want a family here.”

Their soft smiles appeared.

Jin nodded. “If that’s what you want, we’ll buy it and sell it to a young family who will treasure it like you have for so many years.”

I choked up and hurried to my feet, hugging him to convey my gratitude when words failed, moving on to do the same to Namjoon.

I decided that even when he bought my childhood home back, I wouldn’t take everything—just my mother’s love seat, my father’s knife set, my grandfather’s chair, and my grandmother’s butterflies. I would take those with me to Korea.

I gave a long farewell bid to my home, most of the process done alone as I went through rooms and whispered goodbye.

Jin said that although he would keep up with the house virtually by speaking with a Realtor of his choosing, we could come back to visit at any time before we sold it; I would be in charge of deciding which family’s application would be accepted.

“I don’t want to come back,” I told him quietly as we walked into the airport. “I already said goodbye, but I want to decide which family.”

“And you will,” he said firmly, this time sitting me beside him in the plane, ensuring, like Namjoon had, that I wouldn’t look out any windows to startle my fear of heights. Everyone pulled their shades down to prevent the temptation.

I slept through most of the plane ride back home, exhausted and well spent from our extended vacation, and we arrived at home, I beelined straight for the living room couch and fell asleep again.

When I woke up, a movie was playing on low, and dinner was ready. We strayed from Chinese food since we had it every day at my childhood home, opting for a potato dish instead, and we ate in the living room, most of us struggling to make it through dinner as jetlag won us over.

We took another two days to ourselves to settle back in and unpack, but Namjoon informed us that their schedule would be picked up as their comeback rapidly approached. This would be our last vacation for a while, and although the idea of their comeback made me nervous, knowing it meant I would likely see less of them, I nodded along with the others.

On our first day back at HYBE, I was surprised to see Cheverie in the breakroom—Jaehyun and Lyric, too. As my men entered, I flew to the table, beaming as Lyric swept me into a hug.

As my men said their pleasantries and shared quick jokes with Jaehyun, they sat down with their lunch as I wondered in excitement, “What are you doing here, Cheverie? I’m so happy to see you!”

She wiped her mouth with her napkin, duly hiding her smile. “I have a guest pass.”

Lyric wiggled her brows. “Thanks to Jaehyun’s and my quick thinking. It was a long process, but Jin sped it up.”

I looked at Jin, and he dipped his chin.

“Really?” I gushed, clasping my hands together. “That’s really great! Now you can come visit when you want, Cheverie. We can have lunch together sometimes!”

She looked pleased with my excitement, and with her napkin set aside, her smile was on display. “Yes, I could. It’s good to see you. Did you have fun?”

“A lot of fun,” I agreed as I sat between her and Lyric, smiling and waving at Jaehyun, who did the same in response. “We went to my childhood home, but I think you knew that already.”

Lyric giggled mischievously. “Oh yes. We were in on their little plan; we brought your suitcases to that hotel when you left their family house, making sure we were super early so you wouldn’t miss your plane. But that hotel had some bomb-ass bingo! Did you know that Jaehyun is a certified bingo cheater? Because now I am well aware.”

“You can’t cheat in Bingo,” Jaehyun scoffed, offering Jungkook some of his chips.

Cheverie raised a brow. “Liar. You can. And did.”

“I’m just a better player,” Jaehyun quipped. “Isn’t that right, Jungkook?”

Jungkook accepted the chips and tore the bag open. “I don’t know, hyung. I wasn’t there, and I don’t like confrontation.”

Jaehyun poked his side. “Eat up. You look hungry.”

“I am!” Jungkook popped a handful of chips into his mouth. “We were outside a lot at Faeryn’s childhood home. We played manhunt.”

“It was a lot of fun,” Taehyung added jovially, pushing a package of vending machine cookies toward me that I happily accepted.

“And,” Yoongi added lowly as he focused on his plate of lunch, “we are purchasing a swing set for our backyard.”

“Really, grumps?” Lyric grinned. “Nice!”

Yoongi nodded a bit. “It is nice, and Faeryn and I will use it often.” His eyes met mine briefly, and his features softened—as did his voice. “Will we?”

“We will,” I agreed assiduously. “And it was Jin’s idea. Thank you, Jin,” I offered with a big smile.

“Yes, thank you, Jin,” Yoongi supplemented.

Jin chuckled. “It’s my pleasure.”

꧁꧂

 

When the emotional high of our ten-day vacation passed a week later, leaving me in a content state of mind, Hoseok pulled me aside after dinner.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he informed me as he sat me on his bed, offering me a gentle smile. “I know we talked about our comeback a while back, but I wanted to bring it up again.”

Anxiety stirred in my gut. “Did something change?” I whispered.

“No, nothing changed.” He leaned down, taking my hands in his. “I wanted to communicate something I compiled for you. It might help you make a decision, and you have time; we have two months of intense build-up before our comeback is released and promotions will be in full swing.”

“Can I be there for promotions?” I asked uncertainly, holding his hands tightly for solace.

“Of course you can,” he assured me. “You can come to each event if that’s what you want, and we would love for you to be there with us. What I compiled might help with a few things, so I’m going to grab my laptop so we can look through it in a second, okay?”

“What will it help?” I asked, brows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

He caressed my cheek. “Do you remember when you were anxious for our comeback because you weren’t sure you could be properly accommodated and fall into the routine?”

I nodded, beginning to understand.

“Since we have two months,” he continued. “We could begin practicing our comeback schedule now to lean you into it. It would be helpful for the rest of us, too. We’ll have earlier schedules, but with how it will pan out, you could still have a long night’s sleep.”

“Would we all still be together?” I asked fretfully. “I don’t want that if I can’t have all of you with me.”

“We’ll be with you, sweetheart,” he reassured me. “I promise. Do you want me to bring my laptop so we can go over how it would work?”

“Yes,” I breathed out. “Please.”

He retrieved his laptop from his work bag, settling me into his blankets before joining me and navigating through his laptop.

With his arm around my waist, he typed easily and pulled up a word sheet.

“Here we are,” he murmured, scrolling to the top. “It’s interactive, so I’ll send it to you after we review it together, okay? It looks a bit overwhelming at first, but once we talk through it, it will be familiar.”

I sucked air in through my cheeks to prepare. “Okay.”

He read through it, starting from the top and giving me room to ask questions after going through a specific outline. It was a full rundown of what to expect during their comeback season, every date and time already set in stone.

“This is a lot,” I worried.

“It is,” he confirmed. “But we’ll work you up to it before the two months. By then, it will be your new normal. Only if you want to try this with us, okay? It’s up to you.”

“No,” I amended. “This is a lot for all of you.”

He paused and turned slightly to peer into my face. “We’re used to it.”

“It’s…going to be exhausting,” I countered. “Will you all be okay? Jaehyun will be with Jungkook and his new managers, right? I know the background checks came back clean and they have raving reviews, but Jaehyun will stay with him?”

“He will.” Hoseok’s brows knitted together slightly. “Nothing will happen to him; we’re all making sure of it, HYBE included.”

“And all of you?” I asked in one breath. “How can I help?”

“How can you help?” he repeated.

“Yeah,” I insisted. “How can I help your routine feel easier? This is just a routine and pinpoints how to make it easier for me, but I’m not even a part of the comeback. Where’s your spreadsheet to make it easier for all of you?”

He took a moment. “We each have our usual downtimes we take when we’re not performing, napping between showcases and interviews in our dressing rooms, and we make sure we’re resting enough at night.”

“How much time will you get to yourselves?” I demanded to know, slightly horrified. “This is going to cause burnout!”

“It’s only for a little while,” he assured me. “Our promotions generally last for two months, and that’s what this is set for. Towards the end, we have much more time since we’re not performing at showcases as often. We get downtime in America when we’re doing interviews during the day and pre-recording late-night performances.”

“Oh,” I breathed out. “How long until you get to that point? Did we get to that area on the spreadsheet yet?”

“Not yet, sweetheart. We’re still making our way.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered, flushed and indignant. “I just didn’t want you all to be burned out.”

“It’s as rewarding as it is exhausting,” he responded, aiming to ease my mind. “Seeing our fans is a gift, and we’re excited for their reaction to our new album.”

“You’ve been practicing really hard,” I concurred, still anxious. “A lot of late-night practices and important meetings.”

“We have.” He cupped my cheek fondly. “It’s part of the fun.”

“It’s fun for you?” I queried. “It’s not too much? I…I want to know so I know what to do if any of you are too exhausted. I’ve never seen any of you get to that state besides Yoongi and Jungkook.”

“Yoongi?” he asked, immediately concerned. “When did you see him get to that point? Was this recent?”

I hesitated, blurting, “It was a private conversation between us, not because of the comeback.”

His tension didn’t ease much. “Is he all right? He’s seemed happier, joking a few times too, but if anything happened—”

“He’s okay,” I hurried to convince him. “I can’t talk about it because it was a private conversation.”

He nodded slowly, his chest rising and falling slowly. “He’s my friend, sweetheart. One of my best. I want to make sure he’s all right.”

I nodded, beseeching him to believe me. “If you want to ask him about our conversation, you can, but I don’t know if he wants to talk about it. It’s been taken care of, and I don’t want him to feel embarrassed if we bring it back up.”

“That’s a good point,” he agreed, easing slightly when I squeezed his upper arm for support. “All right. It was all discussed between you and him?” I nodded. “We can move on from it, then. That was sudden,” he admitted. “I get worried about him sometimes.”

“Friends worry,” I continued his train of thought. “But he’s okay, and he has a therapist that’s really good for him, so you don’t have to worry as much anymore, okay? Our conversation ended really well.”

“That’s good to hear.” His shoulders eased the remainder of their tension, and he squeezed me firmly. “Thank you for telling me.”

I nuzzled up to him. “We can go back to talking about how I can make your lives easier now.”

He chuckled more out of surprise than anything. “You already make our lives easier by being in them.”

“Hoseok,” I said pointedly, patting his arm. “I want to help.”

“There isn’t much to help with,” he responded kindly. “And whether or not you decide to come along for our comebacks, seeing you in our dressing rooms cheering us on from there, or cheering us on through the phone? That’s more than enough for us.”

I stared at him for a passing beat for nodding with determination. “When do we start?”

“Start?”

“Preparing me for the two-month schedule?” I gestured to the laptop. “I want to go with you. I’ll take all my accommodations, I’ll bring things to keep me occupied and regulated, and Mr. Stuffins will be my best friend. And I already know some of your staff, mostly Jaehyun, so I won’t be…too awkward.” I smiled sheepishly. “Hopefully.”

“You’re not awkward,” he refuted with a kiss cheek. “You’re nervous and resort to masking around new people so you won’t be judged, but you, Faeryn? Anyone who gets to know the real you is incredibly lucky. I know I am, and so is everyone else in our home.”

I beamed. “Best.”

“Best what?”

“You’re the best.” I rested my cheek against his shoulder. “Let’s get back to the schedule. I’m ready to get on it. When would I start?”

“We could start on Monday. How does that sound?”

“So after this weekend is over,” I mused. “Okay, sounds good to me!”

He tilted my chin up for a tender kiss. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” I echoed, mewling from the kindness his lips bestowed. “For what?”

“For being you,” he murmured against my cheek.

I melted. “Hobi.”

He pushed his laptop aside and pulled me onto his lap. “We can go through the rest later, if that’s all right with you.”

I twined my arms around his neck with a growing grin. “That’s all right with me. What are we going to do instead?”

“Enjoy each other’s time.”

“How?”

His lips twitched. “How would you prefer?”

I giggled. “I don’t know. Warm and cozy and…feeling good.”

“Is that a new code word for sexual activities?”

“It is with you,” I decided gleefully, squealing happily when he arranged me onto my back. “I like making love with you.”

“As opposed to a rougher sex,” he teased with kind eyes. “Like with a few of the others.”

I blushed. “Yesss.”

He chuckled. “I love making love with you. It’s slow”—he kissed my chin—“enjoyable”—my cheek next—“and you sound beautiful when you’re slowly falling apart.”

I shivered. “Okay, let’s make love now.”

He hid his next smile in the kisses he trailed down my neck. “I thought you might say that.”

“You did?” I was cut off with a peal of giggles as he tugged my shorts off, moaning soon after when he caressed me through my panties.

“Mm, sweetheart, I did.” He paid special attention to my breasts over my shirt, teasing me. “Let’s relax for me, all right? I’ll take care of things.”

It was easy to relax for him, enjoying his skilled fingers and lips as he readied me for him, and when he was fully inside me, I hooked my body around his and clung to him as we made love.

Looking at the schedule was, so to speak, rescheduled.

On Monday, I woke up bright and early with everyone at 3 AM. It was difficult to push myself to sleep at 7 PM, but I managed to fall asleep at 9. Walking into the kitchen groggily, I wished I had fallen asleep at 4 PM.

“There she is.” Jimin poured me a cup of tea, and the sight of my strawberry cup brought a tired smile to my face. “Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”

I yawned. “I’m not Jungkook.”

He laughed lightly. “What?”

“You said bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.” I plopped into a seat and would have fallen if a quick-approaching Taehyung hadn’t caught me. “I’m not a bunny.” I patted Taehyung’s chest to convey my drowsy thanks. “I’m not Jungkook.”

Jimin laughed again, approaching with my tea. “Then you’re a cute duck ready to drink from her strawberry cup.”

I hummed thoughtfully and shrugged. “Maybe.” He pushed my straw toward me, and I sucked languidly, sighing contently. “So good. Thank you, Jimin. Hi, Taehyung.” I pushed my lips out for a kiss, and he kissed me immediately, saying his good mornings into it.

“Mm, anything for you, honey,” Jimin responded. “Especially when you’re waking up so early for us.”

“It will be fun,” I mumbled, wiping my eyes after kissing Taehyung. “Did you sleep okay?” I asked him.

He wore one of his genuine smiles. “I slept great.” He kissed my cheek. “Did you? You look tired.”

I nodded. “Yeah, but I’ll be less tired once I get used to it. We can have…” I yawned again. “Early morning talks.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin prompted as Taehyung kissed my other cheek. “About what?”

“I don’t know.” I drank my tea, squirming as the warmth filled me. I waved goodbye to Taehyung as he walked to the fridge, earning a playful wave in return. “I’ve never had 3 AM morning talks and stayed awake to remember much of it.”

“That’s not entirely true, is it?” he responded playfully. “You and Yoongi stayed up awfully late on those swing sets.”

I smiled brightly in remembrance. “Oh yes. I can never forget about our swing set conversations. I’ve never stayed awake that late with any of you.” I beamed. “It was exciting. We did go to bed soon after, though, but now we’re all staying awake.”

“Mhm, awake and ready for the day.” He opened the fridge, pinching Taehyung’s side playfully. He laughed and nudged Taehyung away when the latter pinched him multiple times for his revenge. “You can try eating now or at five if you’re hungry then. That’s how the schedule will work, okay, honey?”

“Are you eating now?” I asked, smiling sleepily at the playful atmosphere.

“I’m never hungry at this time, but with how our scheduling will be, I’ll have to eat now.”

“I will then, too,” I said determinedly.

“You don’t have to,” he chuckled fondly. “I have to eat prior to our showcases so my food has time to settle. You don’t have to dance on stage, do you, sweet girl?”

“I could,” I countered mischievously, making him laugh again. “Hoseok could teach me.”

“Teach you what?” Namjoon inquired as he walked in, bare-chested with a towel around his shoulders.

I waved, enjoying the view. “To dance.” I held out my cup of tea. “Do you want some?”

He leaned forward and captured the straw in his mouth, taking a quick sip. “Mm.”

“Do you like it? Jimin made it.”

He tickled beneath my chin lightly, evoking my giggles. “Jimin always makes it.”

“I was just telling you.”

“Mhm, and I heard you so well, didn’t I?” He brought the towel through his hair, ruffling it slightly. “Have we decided what’s for breakfast?”

“You didn’t hear me so well.” I reached for him, eager for a hug. When he turned with a questioning brow raised, I turned red. “Hug, please.”

“Aw, she wants to feel you up,” Jimin crooned, sorting the fridge for breakfast.

“Too early,” Taehyung warned, jumping out of the way of Jimin’s pinching figures and claims of, “It’s never too early.”

Despite my embarrassed sputtering, Namjoon chuckled and leaned down to hug me, rubbing my back and patting my ass fondly.

“Drink your tea.” His lips brushed my earlobe before he stood. “We’ll pack breakfast for you.”

“Thank you,” I said, jolting when another pair of lips kissed the back of my neck.

“Faeryn,” Jungkook mumbled. “Good morning.”

I turned slightly, setting my cup down to hug him. “Good morning!”

“I hate waking up this early,” he grumbled.

“It is really early,” I empathized. “Do you want some tea?”

He nodded blearily and accepted the straw I nudged between his lips, drinking until he pulled away and smacked his lips.

“So good,” he sighed.

“Stop drinking her tea,” Jimin chided playfully. “There’s tea in the kettle.”

“Faeryn’s tea tastes better,” was Jungkook’s decisive response, dutifully ignoring Jimin’s claims that it was the same tea in the kettle.

Sitting beside me, Jungkook dropped his head into my lap and exhaled contentedly as I combed my fingers through his hair.

Approaching the table from near the sink, Taehyung sipped a glass of water and offered a smile as he sat. “It gets easier,” he reassured Jungkook and me.

“You’re too awake,” Jungkook said suspiciously.

Taehyung laughed. “The jetlag put me on this schedule, and I decided to stay on it.”

Jungkook gasped into my pants. “That’s horrible.”

“It’s not,” Taehyung denied good-naturedly. “Now I’m awake, and you’re not.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “You’re horrible,” he changed his mind. “And you probably already brushed your teeth before breakfast.”

“Not this again,” Jimin cut in with a chuckle. “Namjoon, feed your boyfriend so he stops whining about the best time to brush your teeth.”

Namjoon grabbed two mugs for coffee. “Bub, how do you feel about toast and peanut butter?”

Jungkook nodded into my pants, out of eye sight of Namjoon.

“He says yes,” I announced.

“Thank you, Faeryn.” Namjoon smiled as he poured coffee and retrieved the toast. “I’ll pack you rice balls from yesterday’s lunch and a protein shake, hm? We’ll keep them in the fridge in our personal breakroom area.”

I showed a thumbs-up. “Okay, thank you, and best.”

“Best?”

“You’re the best!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled as Jin walked in just in time to question in his low, rumbled morning voice, “‘Best’ declarations this early?” His eyes shifted until he found me, and they softened slightly. “Are we off to such a great start already?”

I offered him tea. “Yes!”

“How many people have sipped from your tea, Faeryn?”

“Two,” I revealed, amending it to, “Three. Jimin taste-tested it to make sure it wasn’t too hot.”

“Coddling,” Jin said in response, declining my tea but taking me up on my kiss offer. He hummed into it, lazily swiping his tongue over my bottom lip before pulling away. “How did you sleep? Do you feel rested?”

“I’m going to sleep really early tonight,” I told him.

“The schedule is set for six at the latest,” he told me. “You need time to let your food digest after dinner and to shower.”

“And brush your teeth,” Jungkook chimed in pointedly. “Because brushing your teeth after you eat is how you’re supposed to do it.”

“Jungkook,” Jin warned. “Enough of this topic.”

“I’m just saying,” Jungkook groaned. “Why is everyone avoiding the truth?”

Jin went straight for the coffee, thanking Namjoon, who already had a cup readied for him.

Turning to lean against the counter to keep everyone seated at the table under his watchful gaze, Jin sipped his coffee. “Where are Yoongi and Hoseok?”

“Hoseok’s showering in his room,” Jungkook piped up, mewling when I lightly scratched his scalp. “Yoongi’s probably using the hall bathroom.”

On cue, Yoongi exited looking exceptionally drowsy. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” was chorused back at him, and he took the seat beside me, smiling gratefully when I kissed his cheek.

“Good morning, Faeryn,” he repeated in a quieter tone, returning the kiss.

I squeezed his thigh reassuringly. “Tired?”

He dragged his palm over his face, peeking through his fingers slightly to respond, “Yes.”

I smiled at him, bemused. “It’s okay! We’ll get used to the new schedule soon.”

He agreed with tired mumbles, and when I motioned him forward, he contentedly nestled his face into my shoulder as Jungkook continued staking his claim in my lap.

“The point of this schedule was to ease Faeryn onto it,” Hoseok teased as he entered the kitchen, his footsteps slower due to his lingering sleep.

I didn’t have a free hand to wave, busy with caressing Jungkook’s and Yoongi’s hair, but I showed my biggest smile. “Good morning, Hobi!”

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he returned fondly. “You look like you’re fitting into this better than the rest of us are.”

I beamed. “Oh yeah. I’m pretty good at waking up early now that I think about it.”

“Now that you think about it?” Taehyung asked with a playful grin.

“Yeah, because I thought it would be hard switching to a different schedule, but morning is fun when you’re all awake with me.”

“Aw’s,” exploded through the kitchen, and while Yoongi kissed my shoulder, Jungkook kissed my inner thighs, practically burying himself between them.

“Jungkook!” I squeaked, red in the face from the sudden affection and attention from everyone.

He jolted slightly, his innocent eyes meeting mine. “What?”

“It’s too early!”

He blinked before understanding, and he blushed. “It’s just warm. I’m not doing anything.”

“What are you doing?” Namjoon prompted him.

“Nothing!” Jungkook defended himself. “I’m just resting.”

“Between Faeryn’s thighs,” Jimin added cheerfully as he sat at the table. “Comfy between there, isn’t it, bunny?”

I gaped at them, and this time, Taehyung joined me to protest, “Too early!”

“Too early?” Jimin chuckled into a sip of tea. “Faeryn’s known to enjoy sex first thing.”

I sputtered before hiding my face behind Yoongi’s head, earning scattered laughter from the others.

“I won’t do anything,” Jungkook insisted, determined. “I always ask permission. Right, Faeryn?”

“You do,” I agreed, still hiding. “But I just got surprised.”

“Sorry,” he offered guiltily. “I was kissing you because you were nice, and to get warm, but it’s close to…”

“Too early!” Taehyung demanded, making me giggle.

“Why can’t you live a little?” Jimin traced the ring of his cup. “Sexual activities at any time, specifically early morning, are a great way to start the day.”

Taehyung tried to steal Jimin’s cup of tea, but Jimin laughed and held it easily out of reach.

Taehyung sighed and sat back in his chair. “Laugh it up, yeah, yeah. Sex is better when you’re awake enough to really enjoy it because I want to remember every part of it.”

Jimin nearly choked on his tea as an aw erupted deep from his chest. “That’s adorable.”

“It’s just how I feel,” Taehyung responded, sharing a smile with me. “And it’s okay if Faeryn likes early morning sex. I would do anything she likes, but I prefer remembering every second of it, and I do that best after 11 AM.”

Laughter spread, and I made sure he knew, “Then we’ll have sex after that time only. I don’t mind!”

He caught my hand from across the table, earning a protest from Jungkook as it took me away from caressing his hair.

Taehyung laughed a little at that, but his eyes were softly trained on me. “Thanks, Faeryn.”

“Thank you,” I chirped.

“A happy mood,” Jin commented, making his rounds around the table to ensure everyone was ready to eat or had a cup of coffee. Sitting with his cup, he settled in. “The morning tends to you, Faeryn.”

I blinked. “It does?”

Jungkook buried his face back between my thighs, his words coming out muffled. “Yeah, and the sun shines so pretty on your face.”

My blush tickled my nose. “Oh. I didn’t know.”

Namjoon chuckled, and by that time, everyone was seated, eating, or awaiting their food to be ready. “The morning suits you,” he complimented me. “But then again, everything might.”

“Not everything,” I scolded to keep my red cheeks at bay. “Not when I’m snoring.”

“You don’t snore,” everyone responded.

I blinked. “I don’t?”

Jimin laughed. “Oh, honey, did you think you did?” I nodded, wide-eyed. “Aw, baby, you don’t snore. You make the cutest little sounds though; hums and sighs as you get nice and comfortable.”

“I do?”

“Mhm,” Namjoon confirmed, amused. “It can be traced back to my accurate statement of comparing you to a cat.”

Jungkook denied hotly, “She’s a duck.”

“I’m Faeryn,” I cut in, poking his freshly dyed brunette to hide his root growth—just in time for pre-recording dance practices.

“You can be both, hm?” Namjoon leaned back, enjoying his coffee and the warm sun streaming in through the window. “A cat and a duck.”

With his face still comfortably nestled in my shoulder, Yoongi murmured, “You would make a very cute cat and duck, Faeryn.”

I sat up a little straighter. “Yeah. I would, I think so.”

“All it takes is some reasoning from Yoongi.” Jimin finished his food with a good-natured smile. “Fair enough.”

“Yes.” I felt Yoongi smile. “Fair enough.”

Jungkook was eventually bribed to eat his peanut butter toast, loosely complaining about how the peanut butter stuck to his mouth but finishing it quickly, claiming it was worth it because of the protein. He then proceeded to show off his muscles, which had grown, compliments of his gym regimen, for their comeback.

Everyone looked more muscular, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself, hiding my blush in the tea I kept sharing with Yoongi and Jungkook, although Jungkook was off limits after eating peanut butter. I poured him a little serving of his own, even though Jimin reiterated there was tea in the kettle.

In Jungkook’s words, “Faeryn’s tea is better.”

Heading to HYBE three hours after we woke up was different, but we stayed awake by talking and tidying up the house a bit. Once at HYBE, I was a yawning mess, but I could get through it. At 6 PM, I looked forward to face-planting on my bed and sleeping as soon as I did.

Sprucing up my desk and ensuring my dinosaurs were neatly in line, I hummed to myself as my earplugs remained firmly placed and my sunglasses warmed my face like a dear friend. Accommodating myself was a relief, and I had a feeling that if the ladies who made fun of me nearly a year ago in this spot returned to do the same, I wouldn’t care as much. I would be too busy being happy.

A ruckus at the front doors caught my attention, and I turned abruptly, wide-eyed as I pushed onto my tip-toes to view the scene. A peek of orange hair, frantic words aching to be believed, and bronze eyes searching for someone.

Searching for me.

I neglected my dinosaurs and paperwork, forgetting about my fear when hers was so blatant. When it needed soothing.

When it needed help.

I looked around rapidly, squeezing up to security as they refused to let her in. Ensuring the man we feared wasn’t around, I inhaled the fresh air tainted with his memory and left HYBE.

Notes:

You are not ready for the upcoming angst😈👩‍💻 BUCKLE UPPPPP!!! my favorite chapters are incoming 😈

Chapter 55: Kenley's Return

Summary:

Kenley and Ryker return.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

Kenley had been running.

She was out of breath, her hair unruly and wild, and her eyes matched her frantic state. It didn't seem like she could speak, and knowing a guest pass would take days to authorize, I ensured my phone was safely tucked away and held my hand out to her.

Her hair stuck to her face due to the cold as she refused my hand. Thinking quickly, I offered my arm, but she buckled under the aspect of physical touch, and I stood back, looking around once more to check our surroundings for Ryker.

"The library," I blurted. "Not the one near our apartment, the one near here."

Our apartment. The wording was almost lost to me, but not quite, as my words set her into motion. She nodded with hurried blinks, waiting for me to guide the way.

"Stay with me?" I requested.

She didn't respond but fell in line with me, both of us walking quickly as I took us to the library near HYBE. It had a meeting room, and we went in to claim one, luckily snagging the last one. Once in the dim lighting and ease of strangers' eyes, Kenley paced the room until she found a chair to stand behind, clutching the top of it as she stared at me relentlessly.

I locked the door. "Just in case he..." I tried to keep my fear at a minimum. "Saw us."

She shook her head rigidly.

Gnawing on my lip, I brought my phone out of my pocket slowly. "I'm...going to send my location to my group chat really quickly. For safety."

She nodded, and my fingers worked quickly as hers turned white around the couch's fabric. She hadn't spoken since she appeared at HYBE, and I wondered if she was experiencing a verbal shutdown. If so, what pushed her to it? Had it been Ryker? His name was bitter in my mind, and I pushed it away fretfully, texting the group chat with my men quickly to bring them up to speed as best as I could in the moment.

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, my hands went through the familiar motions of sign language shakily. "What happened?"

She blinked slowly, and her anxiety spiked. She shook her head again, distressed.

I paused, trying to keep it together for both of our sakes. "You don't know sign language?"

She loosed a breath of agreement.

"Paper," I managed. "Can you write now, or...do you just want to sit? We're safe here. Ryker can't come in, and my men will be here soon to protect us. Maybe not all of them, but even two of them is more than one Ryker."

This prospect seemed to solidify her, and her grip on the couch started to ease.

I knew my men's work day wasn't too packed today, mostly run-throughs of dance practices, but rundown meetings were in the afternoon. It was still the morning; they were mostly free.

I would be okay, and I would keep Kenley safe.

Walking closer, I found a chair to stand behind like she did. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, or I...I can talk about something to distract you. Do you want me to ask about Ryker and...why you came to HYBE?"

She shook her head, having a hard time breathing.

"Your parents?" I asked, strained. "Your friends?"

I saw it on her face, the stain of pain and debilitating fear. She didn't need to tell me, I knew what her features read. They won't believe me.

"I believe you," I whispered fiercely. My words permeated the air, and she heard them with a harsh sniffle. Again, in hopes it would stain instead of her fear, "I believe you."

Her lips quivered into a grim line, and she bolted for the door, making me move during my surprise. She wrestled with the doorknob, struggling to unlock it, but her fingers kept slipping. She was slipping, and when her frenzied, hopeless eyes met mine, my heart felt bruised in its confinement.

"He's not here." I tried to keep my voice quiet but firm, knowing how helpful it was when Namjoon spoke to me in this manner. How steady and reassuring. "We're safe in here."

Her hand collapsed, and she was next, pushing against the door until she was up again, shoving chairs against the door to lock us in. To keep us safe.

Her fear was all too familiar.

"Kenley." My voice rose a pitch. "He can't—Kenley, he can't come in."

She wasn't listening, focused on her task. It seemed to ground her, having something to do, so I stepped aside and let her, twining my hands anxiously as she made a barricade.

She was barricading my men out.

My panic rose. "Kenley, my men will be here soon, and they have to come in."

Her actions didn't stop until each chair was against the door, and with her labored breathing, she stumbled back with a hand to her forehead.

"Gone," she rasped, the sudden speech surprising me. "She's gone."

"Kenley?" I waited for further elaboration, but none came. "Who's gone?"

"It's just like you said." Her features shuddered, and her eyes closed momentarily. "Just like you said. And now"—her voice flatlined, and fear became the only thing spiking any octaves—"she's gone."

"Who's gone?" I asked quietly.

"It's stupid," she spat out, each word hard to find and spat distastefully into the air. "How much it...means to me."

I flicked my fingers. "It's not," I tried. "If it means something to you."

Her eyes were sharp, and she assessed my nervous tics quickly. "Penelope," she told me.

Confusion homed in my bones. "Penelope?"

Her tears were hot and bitter, and she detested them, her hands tearing them away and leaving red blotches in their wake. "Penelope," she seethed. "Gone."

I steadied myself as best as I could and focused on her forehead instead of keeping eye contact. "Who is Penelope?"

A harsh laugh left her, and she coughed, rubbing her throat to ease the ache. Concern tore through me.

"Penelope." Her fingers dropped from her throat, and she looked more forlorn than angry for a split second, giving me room to view her inner turmoil. "My Jellycat." Her face scrunched with disappointment, rage, and sadness. "My bunny."

My lips parted, and my anger was quick to rise. "Did he throw her away? Did he say you were too childish?"

Her eyes, already on mine, lost most of what was behind them. "Childish," she repeated, her eyes drooping and leaving mine alone. "She's gone."

"Where?" I asked in one breath. "Where is she? In the dumpster? It's not trash hour yet; it doesn't come until eleven." I scrambled to retrieve my phone for the time. "It's only 10 AM; we have an hour."

"Gone," she said.

"Not yet," I insisted. "Is...is he there? At the apartment?"

Her voice was a ghost. "Yes."

The dumpster was right behind the cafe, right beneath the apartment. And it was a thirty-minute walk away.

I could make it before 11.

I could make it before 11.

Shoving the chairs away, I didn't care for the loud sounds, allowing my earplugs to block them out as I worked as quickly as I could.

I would run into my men on the way, make sure they found and stayed with Kenley, and I would get her bunny back. Ryker wouldn't take the final thing it seemed like she had, not like he had taken my mother's Mr. Stuffins from me.

"Faeryn?" she managed.

"Stay," I demanded, turning slightly to see her in my hurry. "I'm faster. I've...had to run more." Nights on the streets flashed through my head, including the ones crammed in the tunnel and hurrying out before the authorities saw me and claimed I was trespassing. Running from Ryker. Running from trauma. Running from the pain of my family's death.

I would run, but this time, I would run forward.

No more running away.

No more.

I unlocked the door and stepped outside. "Stay," I entreated. "My men won't hurt you, I promise. They'll stay with you, and I'll be back soon. Please stay."

She didn't look like she had it in her to do otherwise, so she stood back and remained eerily still while her eyes did the opposite, flitting in every direction in anxious trepidation.

"I'll get her back," was my whispered promise before I hurried away, closing the door and hoping she remained.

As soon as I left the library, I ran into Jin and Hoseok, their meeting attire strewn and their hair ruffled from the wind.

"Faeryn." Jin's voice was clipped and severe, but the worry in his eyes gave him away. "You don't leave HYBE like that. You don't do this."

"I had to," I panted. "Kenley—she's alone in the library, and she's scared. This is her breaking point." I put my hand to my chest, struggling to breathe as adrenaline coursed through me. "I have to get her Jellycat bunny back, Penelope. Ryker threw it away, and the trash comes in an hour."

"No," Jin negated immediately. "You will do no such thing." He grabbed my elbow and shifted me to Hoseok, refusing to let me go. "Go with him and stay with Kenley."

"No!" I ripped away from him, pushing his hand away. "I have to do this; he can't do this again." My mind was set; not even my men could change it. "He can't make someone else feel bad for something that brings innocent comfort. It's just a bunny; it's not bad. It's not childish. It's fabric sewn together into something to love, and I'm going to get it back."

Jin's features were set in stone, and his harsh gaze was intimidating, even more so when it didn't ease, but without another word, he reclaimed my hand.

"Together," he commanded, leaving no room for question. "Hoseok, stay with Kenley. The others are on the way, and I'll take Namjoon with me."

I tugged Jin's hand. "Now."

He sent Hoseok a firm look of decision, and with a strained breath from the latter, Hoseok's eyes flickered over me for the sake of it before dipping his chin in agreement and swiftly entering the library.

We passed the others on the way; they weren't far behind, and Jin claimed Namjoon's upper arm in less than a second, pulling him along with us. The others were clued in from the sight alone, and when Jin wordlessly communicated with his expression, Jimin joined, and the rest hurried to the library even if loath to leave me out of their sight.

They knew what I wanted: for them to keep an eye on Kenley. I knew how isolating it was, and they had helped me come out of that once upon a time. They could be with Kenley now, and although the dynamic wasn't the same, they were good and kind. It was enough to make most people feel seen and less alone.

With this in mind, I hurried into Jin's car, followed by Namjoon and Jimin, as Jin drove us to my apartment.

"Kenley," I blurted, wanting to keep everyone informed. "Ryker threw her Jellycat bunny away, and we're going to get it. Ryker is there, but we can still get the bunny before the trash comes."

Their features were hard and dark, lined with intense anger, but it only comforted me.

"Jobless." Jimin's jaw was clenched tightly enough for it to look like it hurt. "And yet, he's the one in the apartment."

"The bunny." I clutched my seatbelt. "We'll get her back. Penelope; that's her name. And we'll clean her up."

The steering wheel nearly creaked under Jin's deathly grip. "Leaving HYBE knowing Ryker could be nearby was reckless, Faeryn."

"Kenley needed someone," I responded heatedly. "I couldn't just leave her outside."

"You come and get one of us," he said angrily, his eyes meeting mine through the rearview mirror. "You don't put yourself in danger like that, do you understand me? Never again."

"I'm fine," I insisted, my anger mingling with his but not quite reaching the same intensity. "Kenley isn't."

"Ryker could have been scheming." His hand slammed down on the steering wheel, and I jolted slightly, looking at Jimin with wide eyes. "He could've been waiting for you to leave HYBE, so yes, you're fine, but you could easily not have been."

Jimin painfully pushed back whatever anger loomed over him and took my hand, pushing his thumb to caress the top of it for comfort. "He's not angry with you." His voice and features were strained. "This isn't on you."

Namjoon leaned forward from beside me, taking hold of Jin's headrest and leaning forward to allow him greater access to hear his words. "She's with us." Namjoon's tone was set and final, laced with understanding. "We have her."

Jin was shaking. From fear or anger, I wasn't sure.

"Jin." Namjoon squeezed his shoulder, rubbing firmly before doing the same to his arm. "Breathe and drive. We'll be quick, and when we're done, Faeryn will still be with us. She's not hurt. Look at her." He tapped his chin up until Jin looked in the rearview again to find me. "She took Kenley somewhere safe, and now she's with us. Safe." He angled his face to peer into Jin's. "Okay? You hear me?"

Jin struggled, but the view of me seated safely between Namjoon and Jimin was enough to let him refocus on driving.

"In and out," he commanded sharply. "We get her bunny, and we leave. If I so much as see him—"

"I don't care if he's there," I snapped, surprising myself but pushing on just the same. "He's not taking this from her; I won't let him, and you can be angry—I am, too—but I lived through him before, and seeing him isn't going to break me."

He had no choice but to look back at the road, but his fingers rapped strenuously against the steering wheel. With difficulty, he revealed, "We're done with HYBE today. After this, we're going home. All of us."

"But Kenley," I insisted.

"We'll call her family," he returned snappishly. "Hoseok's most likely doing it now."

"But what if they don't believe her?"

Namjoon cut in, "We'll talk about this when we get her bunny. Until then, stay calm. All of us." He breathed shortly. "We'll be there in a minute."

Three minutes passed, and we arrived, pulling up into the parking area behind the cafe. Ryker was nowhere in sight, and I assumed he was sitting back contentedly on the apartment couch like he hadn't traumatized Kenley for the past few months.

Gritting my teeth, I opened the door, and my men were hot on my trail.

With his hand on my back, Jimin followed closely as Namjoon and Jin flanked me. I planned on coming here alone if needed, desperate to change this part of Ryker's abuse for Kenley, but I was relieved I had three of my men with me. They wouldn't let anything bad happen to me.

We stopped in front of a dumpster, and Jin asked with a strained breath, "This is the dumpster you referred to?"

I nodded, stepping forward, but Jimin held me back. I glanced at him, confused. "This is the one."

"We can grab her bunny," he responded. "I don't want you looking through the trash."

I pulled away from him. "I'm fine."

His rigid features followed me, and he looked back at the apartment as if daring Ryker to appear. Raising his sleeves, he opened the dumpster and held it for me while Namjoon did the same for the other side.

Namjoon cleared a few bags away, mostly trash from the bakery and a few tenants' garbage, but Penelope was easy to find. She had been stuffed into the side, but her ears were peeking out. Her navy ears were slightly soiled, dusted with powdered sugar and chocolate from a half-eaten pastry, but she wasn't gone. Not like Kenley feared she was.

I knew how much I wanted to rummage in this same dumpster when Ryker threw my original Mr. Stuffins away, but the fear of his retribution kept me from doing so. I assumed it was the same for Kenley, but this time, I wasn't as afraid of him. Not with my men with me.

Holding Penelope carefully, I moved back so Jimin and Namjoon could close the dumpster's lid.

Seconds after the loud sound echoed, my old apartment's door opened. And Ryker appeared.

Jin nearly foamed at the mouth, and it took all of Namjoon's strength to keep him planted where he was.

Ryker stared down at us, holding the doorknob with a light smirk.

"Audacious," Namjoon called up at him, and I watched how his voice made Ryker take a noticeable step back. "Considering our last meeting."

Ryker's eyes shifted to me, and a low sound rumbled straight from Jin's throat. Deep and protective. Angry.

"Did we give you permission to look at her?" His voice carried easily, loud and yet calmer than he appeared. His anger was prominent, however, and he wasn't making it a point to hide it. "I don't recall permitting you."

Ryker scoffed but didn't leave his safety on the top floor. "She's not worth looking at."

Jimin's humorless laugh, coarse and dry, filled the air. "I was sure one meeting with us was enough, but we can change it to two. Amp the anti up to seven like we promised, yeah?"

Ryker had the good nerve to inch away. "Take the stuffed shit for all I care; it's childish and pathetic. Kenley deserves to eat shit."

My mind whirred with unfairness, and although fear churned in my gut, I couldn't stop myself from yelling up at him, "Hypocrite."

His eyes met mine quickly despite Jin's previous warning. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you talking to me? I wasn't aware you could do that without a stutter or your finicky sign language. Hard for you to be a working member of society, isn't it?" He snarled. "Your Autism is a disease."

Jin twitched, the entirety of him did, and Namjoon stopped holding him in place. Walking with swift calmness, Jin left the back of the cafe, headed toward Ryker.

My eyes widened, and I turned to Namjoon and Jimin as Ryker threatened to call the police.

"No," I pleaded with them. "Please, no legal action. Not for me; if Kenley wants it, she can, but I—I don't want it."

Their eyes narrowed, but their respect for me was wholly true.

"Stay with Jimin," Namjoon instructed stiffly, meeting Jin's pace within seconds.

I had never seen Jin so inconsolably angered, his body tight with tension and his fists clenched perfectly. Jimin had been discussing something with Ryker that I didn't understand, but it hinted at a meeting with them. Something that Ryker feared.

Had they hurt him?

The image of Ryker being hurt for what he'd done to me caused my stomach to churn, but it wasn't altogether unpleasant. The nagging fear he would get the authorities involved was, however, and I hoped Jin would listen to Namjoon and deter his current path.

"Jimin," I stressed when Jin and Namjoon approached Ryker rapidly.

"They're fine." He pulled me to his side, pressing a firm kiss to the side of my head. "They can handle themselves."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I managed as they reached Ryker. He hadn't moved, glued to his spot as if he was one with the law, claiming he would have all the evidence he needed to take them to court if they laid a hand on him.

"Jin," I called up to him, pleading.

His neck twitched, relaying he heard me, but he didn't turn, keeping his attention focused on Ryker. He navigated past Ryker easily, right into my apartment, and I watched on in horror at what could possibly occur.

Namjoon shook his head rigidly when Ryker tried to advance, and the latter stalled for a moment before shifting and hurrying into his apartment when a crash occurred.

Namjoon entered the apartment after him, turning to sign to me, "Wait."

I was alive with anxiety, near tears, as I clung to Jimin's hand and awaited when police sirens would sound.

Ryker's shouts could be heard, making me flinch, and Jimin pressed me closer to him, ensuring we were a good distance from the dumpster. Using the bottom of his shirt to wipe my hands, he told me lowly, "They're smart. And we carry proof of what he did to you. Ryker knows that, which is why he won't call the authorities. He's a coward."

"Proof?" My voice shook. "You...you mean the texts he sent me?"

His eyes flashed. "Yes, and your previous payments for rent and ownership of the lease, even after he kicked you out."

"How?" I asked, baffled.

"It isn't hard to obtain past records if you have the means for it," he answered coolly, pulling my hands back into his once he cleaned the dumpster's grime from them. "We have sanitizer in the car. Keep your hands in mine, Faeryn. Namjoon and Jin will be back, and we'll leave."

"I don't like this," I fretted. "I just wanted to get Kenley's Jellycat."

"And you have it." His arm around my waist kept me from retreating, although I wasn't sure where I would run to. It was more of a triggered fight-or-flight response, and Ryker's shouts were harrowing. "Stay with me."

"I'm scared," I panicked, breathing heavily. "Jimin, please, I don't want to be here anymore."

He tensed, and looking down at me, he released a pained sigh. "I don't have Jin's car keys."

I paled.

"We're okay," he assured me, schooling his voice to lose some of its anger to calm me. "They're making their point, and then we'll go. He's up there with them; he can't hurt you."

I slowly raised my hands to cover my ears, but he stopped the action, telling my questioning look, "Your hands are dirty from the dumpster."

I wanted to cry.

He looked regretful, but he was adamant. "They'll be done soon."

I shuffled in my spot, humming loudly to drown out Ryker, but he could still be heard. Minutes passed, my heart rate spiked, and I was sweating even in the cold weather.

Namjoon emerged with a large suitcase, lifting it with ease down the stairs toward us. I watched as I squirmed in place, gaping when he opened it and dumped its contents into the dumpster. I recognized the smell of the items before I saw them; they all belonged to Ryker.

Jin appeared next, and his conversation with Ryker traveled to me. "After this, you won't deal with us only. Kenley's parents will want to meet you."

"They've already met me," Ryker spat out. "They love me because they're not twisted psychopaths like you."

"They haven't officially met you," Jin responded. "But they will, and the talk I will have with them beforehand will reap what you'll sow from their anger." His voice returned quieter, holding every promise for retribution. "You hurt their daughter, and you will pay."

"Why the fuck do you care?" Ryker hollered, not bothering to deny it now that Jin had seen through his facade.

Jin responded with every certainty in the world, "You hurt someone else's daughter, and since her parents can't avenge her, I will."

I knew he was referring to me, and when he appeared in the doorway, he squared Ryker with a final sharp glare.

"Kenley's parents will take legal action." His eyes blazed with his promise. "They are lawyers, after all."

Ryker, much to his chagrin and upset, denied this. "They're not lawyers. I would've known."

"You only ask questions that benefit your ego." Jin stepped forward, making Ryker step back. "You and your grotesque ego are a disease, and they'll take care of you."

"You know you can't," Ryker mustered up as Jin turned to leave, brave now that Jin's intense focus was on him. "That's why you're copping out; you know I didn't do anything wrong, and your 'proof' doesn't mean anything."

Jin pivoted slowly, and Ryker shrank back, the sight of his cowering one to behold. "I would win a legal battle against you before you found lawyers you could afford or willing to take you on as a client." Jin's voice was passive, almost bored, but still fueled by rage. "I've been requested to refrain, and that is the only reason you will be taken down by Kenley's parents and not by me."

"Requested to refrain?" Ryker scoffed, but his arrogant courage was dwindling. "By your company? They know I could cancel you."

"My company couldn't stop me." Jin's eyes found mine. "But if at any point, the requester changes their mind, I will see you in court."

Ryker paled a bit, continuing to speak, if not only to make himself feel better, but Jin had done what he had set out to do; send Ryker into a flurry without so much as touching him.

There was no legal action on our side of things, the police hadn't arrived, and Namjoon and Jin had returned to me.

We could leave.

"Please," I managed hopefully when Jin arrived, his keys clasped in ready.

He held his hand out to me, and I hurried forward, claiming it with great relief. Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, he kept eye contact with Jimin and Namjoon, commanding, "Car."

As we left, Jimin fell back to ensure there was enough trash covering Ryker's belongings to make them soiled, but he reached the car as soon as Jin started it, looking more satisfied than before.

"We have to go," I breathed out. "Give this to Kenley. Call her parents."

"Hoseok already called them," Namjoon told me calmly. "They're on their way."

I clutched her bunny. "They...they are?"

"Hoseok texted me," Namjoon confirmed.

"Do they believe her?" I croaked. "Do you know?"

"It's a good sign they're willing to get to her quickly, but I'm not sure where they stand yet."

"They have to believe her," I stressed. "She was...she couldn't really talk that much when she came to HYBE, only after, and"—I put a hand to my head only for Jimin to bring it down and lather with hand sanitizer—"did you hurt Ryker before?"

"We didn't hurt him today," Namjoon responded curtly.

"But yes," Jimin drawled, paying special attention the my finger's crevices. "We have."

My pulse sped up. "When you got my things back?"

"Yes, and he was warned it would recur if we saw him again, but for your sake"—he inhaled slowly—"it won't."

"As it is," Jin cut in darkly, "Kenley's parents will take care of serving him what he deserves."

Dizzy from the revealed knowledge, I could only nod.

"Her bunny," I said.

"You have it." Jimin peered into my face when I didn't make a follow-up. "What about her bunny?"

"I don't know," I managed.

"Okay." He pulled me closer to him, causing my seatbelt to strain. "That's okay."

"Ryker." My chin wobbled. "He was shouting."

"I know, baby, but we didn't let him hurt you, did we? Aren't you safe with us and headed back to see everyone else?"

"Yeah," I stammered.

"I know it was a lot," he sympathized. "Seeing and hearing him, but he's not here anymore, and he'll be dealt with."

"Disease?" I heard myself ask.

"Autism is not a disease," he responded, agitation toward Ryker's statement curdling his words. "Ryker and anyone like him is a true disease."

My eyes glazed over. I could feel myself slipping away. "Okay."

"Hey." He loosened my seatbelt and eased my face closer to him, scanning my features with concern creasing his brow. "Hey, baby. Breathe through it; we're right here."

Jin gripped the steering wheel with a vengeance, parking in the same way. "Namjoon, do we know which room Kenley and the others are in?"

"Meeting room three," Namjoon responded, his eyes on mine. "Faeryn, how about we take a minute to breathe in the car? Find ourselves for a second."

"No," I rasped. "Bunny. For Kenley."

"She'll get her bunny," he assured. "She's okay without her bunny right now, all right? Right now, we're focusing on making sure you're okay."

"No police," I rambled. "They don't listen."

"We won't have a case with Ryker," he confirmed. "That's not what you want, so it won't happen. We won't allow it."

"No police?"

"None, baby."

The lingering chocolate from a pastry painting Penelope's chest dripped onto me, and Jimin reached his hand forward. Namjoon relinquished a sanitizing wipe, and Jimin wiped my shirt carefully, pressing soft kisses to my chin as he spoke his comfort.

"Chocolate." I slowly looked down. "On my shirt."

"I know, baby, but we're getting you all cleaned up." He tossed the wipe into the bag up front, and Namjoon tied it, readying to take it with us once we exited the car. "See? Much better."

"No more...chocolate." I breathed heavily. "Only Penelope."

"That's right. Only Penelope. Do you want me to hold her for you?" I clung to her. "Okay, we'll let you hold onto her for Kenley. She'll appreciate it." His thumb rubbed my knee. "And everything else you did for her today. You were brave."

"Brave," I echoed, not quite fathoming it.

"Brave," he concurred. "Wasn't she?"

Jin and Namjoon's agreement followed.

"I feel scared," I told them, deterred. "Not brave."

"You can be brave and scared, and you are," Namjoon said firmly. "These feelings will pass. Breathe through them. In through your nose, out through your mouth."

I tried my best.

We stayed in the car for a long time.

꧁꧂

Once we entered the library, I wasn't shaking as much as before, and Kenley was sitting with her parents.

All the chairs had been returned to normal, no longer strewn around, and I went straight to Kenley, holding out Penelope.

"We found her," I told her, determined to prove the reality. "She just needs to be cleaned, but she's not gone. She's right here."

Her eyes were red and swollen, but no tears fell. Almost angrily, she received Penelope and tugged her harshly to her chest. Chocolate stained her shirt like it stained mine, but she didn't care. She had Penelope back.

Her parents, Chungha and Lohee, greeted me and my men, confusion written into their features as we sat down to discuss who Ryker truly was; the villain he hid with smiles and jokes.

"He's a good-standing young man," Lohee said after our rundown. My heart dropped when Kenley's features did, as soon as the words left her father's mouth. "He was struggling to keep a job, yes, but he wasn't...taking anything from Kenley that she wasn't giving. She spoke to us about it," he revealed. "She wanted to help him get back on his feet when he was unrightfully fired from his workplace for reasons outside of his control."

"They weren't reasons outside of his control," Jimin said coolly. "He was fired for his character."

"People of all characters need to work," Lohee responded strictly. "Your past doesn't prevent you from earning a living."

Jimin's jaw ticked. "It should."

"That's not how the system works. There are programs meant to help people move back into the workplace after things they've done, but that is beside the point because, as I said, Ryker was wrongfully fired with no further proof than claims alone." Lohee looked at us more closely. "Did you all have something to do with that?"

"We're not here to discuss Ryker's lack of income," Namjoon cut in smoothly. "We're here to speak of what he did to your daughter." His chin tilted toward her. "Are you not paying attention to her?"

"Of course I am," Lohee said hotly. "She's my daughter."

"Then listen to her," Namjoon returned firmly. "You're her father."

Lohee stiffened. "I will deal with this how I see fit. I don't take advice from those beneath me."

Namjoon released a low exhale, reigning back what he truly felt. "Is your daughter beneath you?"

"She is my daughter," he snapped. "She is directly beneath me."

"Does that matter?" Taehyung joined the conversation with furrowed brows, upset. "She's telling you she's being hurt, and you're taking the side of a man you've known for barely six months?"

"He is a good man," Lohee defended.

"Is your daughter not good enough?" he pressed incredulously.

"Who are you to defend her?" Lohee demanded. "You've known her less than Ryker, the man you accuse of abusing her, but I see no bruises or wounds. She's emotional, but she's going through a break up, trying to make sense of it."

My mind whirred. "She's not making things up because she's trying to make sense of it." I almost regretted speaking when his harsh eyes landed on me, but I held strong for Kenley's sake. "May I ask why you think she would lie about something like this?"

Lohee said gruffly, "To make sense of it, as I said. She's confused, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. Emotional," he enunciated. "It happens to clients of mine often; they add parts to the story that were never there to begin with, but when they calm down, they remember it correctly."

Kenley's grip on Penelope became less and less as the seconds ticked by. Slowly, she stopped holding her and put her on the floor, almost shoving her aside. Like she was ashamed to be holding her.

My heart hurt.

Trying again for her, I asked, "From a lawyer's view, what would you do if Kenley were your client?"

"She is not my client."

"I know," I agreed hesitantly. "But if she was, how would you help...make sure her claims were true so you would win in court?"

"Proof," he muttered peevishly. "Emotions mean nothing unless it's working a specific judge into our corner, but without proof, we have nothing."

"I have proof," I breathed out. "Of what he did to me."

"I didn't ask for proof of what he did to you," he rebutted. "And if Kenley had proof of his abuse, she would be covered in bruises."

"But abuse isn't always physical," I reasoned with him.

"Which is why most domestic violence cases against victims don't go anywhere, even with proof," he said flatly. "Are we done here?"

His wife stood and motioned for Kenley to stand. "We'll take you to your apartment. You and Ryker can work things out once you've both had time to calm down."

Kenley visibly paled. "I won't."

"You're on the lease," her mother returned, attempting to console her. "You live there."

"Meaning," Kenley said heatedly, "I don't have to go there if I don't want to."

"Where will you go?" her father snapped. "On the streets like you told us Faeryn did? Do you remember telling us how stupid her decisioning for that was? How idiotic it was for her to live with seven men?" Disapproval lined his features, filling the room as for the first time, Kenley avoided eye contact with me. "You were so against Faeryn's claims, stating they were for attention and validation, and now here you are doing the same. No, I will not stand for it. Not from a daughter of mine."

He flicked his fingers impatiently. "Come. We're leaving."

Kenley clutched the chair's armrests. "I'm not returning to my apartment, and father or not, you can't force me."

"No," he confirmed angrily. "But I can and will cut you off from receiving our support. Is that what you want? To work a reception job without a degree and live in a minimum wage apartment for the rest of your life? Because if you do, Kenley, stay with Faeryn." His lips curled with disgust. "She'll teach you what you need to know."

Jin stood, standing a few inches taller than Lohee. "You can speak of Ryker and whomever however you please, but when you speak of Faeryn, you speak with respect. A man in your position with a good-standing degree and wife should know better than to speak ill of the woman a man loves."

Lohee squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. "The woman you love has been poisoning my daughter's head with ideas of Ryker. Do you know how long it's taken someone to love my daughter? If this has pushed Ryker away, it will be Faeryn's fault."

"Then I hope it does!" I exclaimed, surprising everyone present, including myself. "I hope it drives him away and he never gets to her again because even if you don't believe her or think my opinion matters, I believe her, and my opinion matters. So if Kenley needs a place to stay, then she has one with me."

Shaking, I got to my feet, using the chair to stabilize me as I held my hand out to her. "I know you don't like physical touch, but this...this is me extending help, not really my hand." Embarrassed, I amended, "You don't have to hold or take my hand." I returned it to my side. "I still want to help, because even if I have a minimum wage apartment and work as a receptionist, I'm warm and safe."

Lohee spoke through his teeth, "Kenley Cheong, if you go with this receptionist, you will be cut off."

"Kenley," her mother warned. "Listen to your father. Everything's heightened right now; you love Ryker, and he loves you. You've told us so many times before how lucky you are to have him. This is just an argument, and I know it feels like a lot, but it can be resolved."

Torn, Kenley's burning features found mine, shame and regret mingling. "Faeryn," she managed, barely audible.

I held my hand out again, unsure what else to do. "I believe you."

She took one last look at her parents, shook her head ruefully as her breath caught, swiped up Penelope—

And crossed the room to get to me.

Her mother audibly gasped and said her name in a simple scolding, speaking to her as if she was an untamable child, but Kenley didn't look back.

"This is your plan?" Lohee pressed, infuriated. "Live in someone else's apartment while paying rent for another? Does this sound like a plan founded on evidence or emotions?"

Kenley stood beside me, but she wouldn't brave her father's face, refusing eye contact and a response.

Her father's eyes narrowed. "Your choice has been made, but so has mine." He turned, keeping his chin held high. "You will see the error in your ways, Kenley, and you will regret this for years to come, looking back on your childish stupidity with humiliation."

"No," I defended her, burning with indignation and a strong sense of justice. "She won't, but you will."

When her father turned to look at me, every one of my men stood, each chair pushed back. He stiffened at the clear visual of power, and using the words his degree sharpened, he said, "If Ryker hurt you, I can see how he was pushed to it."

Chungha looked appalled, and she looked at her husband, upset. But she didn't negate him. "We're leaving," she said instead.

"You are," Jin ground out, the warning in his voice prominent.

"Kenley." Chungha looked at her daughter. "Once you find your senses, call me. This can still be fixed between you and Ryker; you don't have to lose the first man you loved and who loved you."

Kenley, afflicted, remained quiet.

Chungha took her husband's hand and pulled, closing the door behind them.

Kenley didn't cry. She looked too heartbroken to go through the exhaustion of it. Finding her survival instincts, she finally looked at me. "Are you lying?" she rasped. "Can I stay with you?"

Instinctively, I looked at where Jin stood near the door, his jaw locked and his features wild with anger. Startled, I simply stared, uneasy toward the situation and the fiery painting his face. He seemed to understand his current level of anger—although for me and not because of me—negatively affected me, and he struggled before pulling it back enough to coarsely tell me, "It is your decision."

He sounded wrecked, and my mind on high alert, my eyes widened slightly.

I'd already promised Kenley, I knew I wouldn't break it, but Jin was struggling, and I wanted to go to him.

But Kenley—

"Namjoon," I pleaded.

"We'll go to a hotel," Namjoon responded, reading my wordless question easily. His anger was simmering, but it wasn't boiling—not like Jin's. He'd taken the reins, subconsciously seeming to recognize Jin wasn't able to. Taking control of the room, he commanded, "We'll fit who we can in the car, drive to HYBE for our cars, and go home. Faeryn," he prompted, "you and Kenley can speak at the hotel about arrangements. We'll use a neutral meeting place for it. Yes?"

"Yes," I confirmed, relieved. "Thank you." I managed to inform Kenley, "I'm not changing my mind. I just—I needed help for a second. Jin looks—he's just—" My heart tugged. "Jin."

Jin's fingers turned the doorknob tightly enough for it to squeak due to the strain. "Hotel," he reiterated Namjoon's command. Through a strained exhale, he forced the words out in a low rumble, "Nothing Lohee said to you was factual, and you and I will speak more on it later."

"Okay," I whispered, watching his upset toward Kenley reveal itself in an irritated jaw tick.

He didn't say anything to her, simply opened the door and awaited everyone to take the cue. We filed out quietly, no one speaking as we exited the library.

Jin drove, and Jimin and Taehyung walked to HYBE since the van wouldn't hold one of them; neither wanted the other to walk alone, so they walked together.

At HYBE, they boarded Jimin's car, and Jungkook hurried out of the car to meet them at HYBE to collect their things. He brought Jin's, Namjoon's, and Hoseok's belongings as they remained in the car, and we drove on to the hotel.

We picked the largest room with a living area, giving us plenty of space to sit and talk.

Kenley wouldn't look at anyone, chocolate staining both of our shirts as she held Penelope out to the side of her, inclined to put her down but not quite enough.

"Why don't we take a breather before jumping into anything?" Namjoon suggested when silence kept everyone hostage. "We can decide on something to drink and freshen up."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "Good idea."

I nodded, and when everyone else confirmed, Jungkook fled the scene to find a room service menu, happy for the reprieve.

Next to Kenley, I cleared my throat. "Do you like...water?"

She drew her thumb beneath her eye. "It's water."

"I meant, do you want to drink water? Or maybe something else."

"I don't need you to pay for me. I have money. I'm not incompetent."

"I know you're not," I confirmed. "I wasn't...offering to pay for you. The water is free."

"Oh. It's free." She looked at Jungkook wearily when he came bounding back out of breath.

"Menu," he announced. "I found it, and they're having a special."

Namjoon accepted the menu and Jungkook, passing a hand through his tousled hair. "Thank you, bub."

"Yeah." Jungkook's attention drifted to mine, and he offered a tentative, reassuring smile. "The menu," he mouthed, then signed, "Found it."

"What did he say," Kenley demanded to know.

Jungkook blinked.

I responded, "He said he found the menu."

"He already said that." She viewed him suspiciously. "Did he actually sign that?"

"Yes," Jin responded in my place, his words and gaze hard.

Kenley quieted.

Jungkook looked around awkwardly before leaning forward. "It's the finger sign for 'F', then you lift something like you're finding it. It's what I said, not anything else."

She glanced at his fingers until he caught on and repeated the sign. "Why did you sign it when you already told us verbally?"

His throat bobbed. "I like signing with Faeryn."

"You..." She coughed a bit, wincing. Pinching the skin near her throat, she tugged it away lightly for a reprieve. "Could have been speaking about me."

"Yes," Jimin drawled. "Because that would be smart."

"Jimin," I said, surprised.

He rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry, honey. I'm tired of seeing the people I care about get taken advantage of today."

Kenley's fingers remained near her throat, rubbing and soothing. "I asked a question. That's all."

"You're being accusatory," Jimin responded. "To the people who have only helped you, even if you badmouthed them behind their backs."

Jin's displeasure grew, and though I'm sure he didn't need a reminder, the mention was enough to bribe more anger to the surface.

"Now is not the time," Namjoon halted the sudden tension. "There will be a time, but it won't be now." He leafed through the menu, exhaling deeply. "Now, we drink."

Notes:

I think the next chapter is one of my faves UGHHH so much angst, anger, and arguments. See you there 🧘‍♀️

Chapter 56: Our Heavy Reality of Misunderstanding

Summary:

Faeryn, her men, and Kenley have a talk that only brings more conflict, anger, and hurt.

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Most of us chose a light alcoholic beverage, but I chose tea to calm my nerves. Jungkook and Taehyung chose lemonade.

Kenley chose Bokbunja mixed with Soju, and she was on her third shot. 

"Kenley?" I wondered. "Do you want some water? For your throat?"

She tugged the skin away from her neck again, swirling her tongue around the cup's trim. "No."

"Is it okay?" I asked, concerned. "Your throat?"

"My thyroid," she muttered. "Swells."

I blinked, horrified. "What? Are you okay? Should we go to the hospital?"

"It's fine," she said under her breath. "It's because of anxiety." 

"Pulling the skin helps?" I watched with a high-volume of worry. "How?"

"It lets me take a deep breath. I don't know." She poured herself another shot of Soju, this time without mixing any Bokbunja in. "We will talk about living arrangements now."

"We won't make demands," Jimin responded shortly. "We're not in a position to, Kenley."

Reprimanded, she bristled. "I made a statement. This is why we're at the hotel, to talk about living arrangements. Otherwise, I'm leaving."

She stood, readying herself to take the bottle of Soju, but I quickly rushed out, "We'll talk, it's okay. You can sit back down."

She slowly sat but kept the Soju bottle.

"I thought you didn't want anything for free," Jimin commented drily.

She released the bottle, crossing her arms. "You're upset with me. Fine. I'm upset with myself." She glanced at me only to look away quickly after. "I...said a lot of things I shouldn't have about you."

"You were badmouthing me so you wouldn't have to badmouth Ryker," I followed up. "Like a distraction."

Hoseok's features set rigidly. "Don't make excuses for her."

"Correct," Jimin confirmed, his eyes laser-focused on her. "I still haven't heard an apology."

Kenley shifted uncomfortably. "I thought what I said was true. It is not smart to move in with seven men you don't know."

"Idiotic," Taehyung muttered stiffly. "In your words."

"It is," she agreed hesitantly. "Although it worked out for Faeryn, it could have ended badly."

Jimin arched a brow. "And neglecting advice someone gives you about the abusive person you're dating isn't idiotic?" 

"Jimin," I cut in. "She needed time."

"Do not," Hoseok repeated, "make excuses for her. She can speak of her own accord. As she keeps saying, she isn't incompetent."

I looked at her, falling silent. 

She squeezed her knees and tucked her face above them. "I'm sorry for badmouthing you. At the time, I really thought you were jealous, and...it made me believe your actions were idiotic. I still think moving in with seven male strangers is a horrible idea, but I'm glad it worked out for you." 

"Well, thank you," I responded awkwardly. "It might have looked like a bad idea, but they're kind and good."

"Yeah, but you didn't know that beforehand."

"You hardly know Faeryn," Yoongi spoke up levelly. "Yet you would like to live with her. Is it not the same?"

"She's a woman." But she flushed. "It's different, and she knows what Ryker did because he did it to her."

"Ah," Jin said cuttingly. "You believe her now."

"Stop it," I snapped. "All of you. When you're in the situation, it looks grey and confusing, and she wasn't ready to believe that Ryker was capable of abuse. How is that wrong of her?"

Their obvious displeasure remained, but they refrained from speaking it.

I turned to her with a sharp inhale. "Kenley, if you want to stay at my apartment and pay rent, you can."

Her features wound up. "I can't afford to pay two different rent payments, and even if Ryker's name isn't on the lease, I legally can't kick him out without a notice, and I'm not going there."

"You could try to get out of the lease," I offered. "Tell your landlords you can't afford it."

"Yeah?" she muttered. "With what lawyers?"

"Maybe you can...send a letter to your apartment giving him a notice, and then after a few days, you can call the authorities if he hasn't moved."

"And when my parents show up with him, claiming I need to talk it out?" She buried her face in her hands. "They're on his side. They made that perfectly clear."

"You aren't legally obligated to allow anyone access to your apartment," Namjoon told her. "You can lock the doors."

"I won't feel safe," she persisted. 

He looked at her for a moment. "We're giving you options, Kenley. Take one."

"I'll be broke," she spat out. "I can't afford to pay rent for both places, my job doesn't pay enough, and now that my parents cut me off, I won't be able to afford my college classes."

"You're in college?" I asked. 

"I'll be a lawyer like them."

"Better ones, I hope," Jimin muttered.

Offended, she sat up fully. "What does that mean?"

"Your parents refused to believe you and seem to have lost numerous domestic violence cases." He met her hard stare head on. "That's what that means."

"The system that fails domestic violence victims isn't their fault," she said snappishly. "They do what they can as lawyers."

"I find that hard to believe," he returned swiftly. "Given how easily they refused to believe their own daughter's case, their failures aren't just because of the system. It's how they operate. If their first option is to believe the abuser, how can they build a proper case to defend the victim?"

Kenley sucked in a sharp breath. "You don't know anything about my parents."

"I've seen enough to make a proper assessment."

Her eyes snapped to mine, and she demanded, "These are your men? The ones who believed and guided you after you revealed what Ryker did to you? I'm better off with Ryker." She picked her throat's skin almost viciously. "I would feel as awful as I do with him like I do now."

"They're just trying to make a point," I attempted to explain. "They're not trying to hurt your feelings." I sent them all the hardest look I could muster. "Her parents don't believe her, and she just left Ryker in her apartment, which is supposed to be her home. Why are you being"—I struggled before blurting—"horrible?"

Their expressions changed, and an inkling of regret shone its way through. 

Namjoon exhaled. "We're all...upset about the conversation with Kenley's parents and what they said about you, but we'll tone it down. Kenley's apologized, and you're right. We'll be more understanding going forward."

Jimin was slowly rising to the level of anger Jin was on, and Namjoon caught on, adding sharply, "Won't we?"

Jimin's jaw clenched, and I knew he only agreed for my sake. "We will."

I pivoted to face Kenley. "Okay. See? Better."

She hunched forward, returning her face to her knees. "Your men."

I nodded slowly. "Yes?"

"They care about you." She eyed them carefully. "Intensely." Her attention shifted to me. "What did you do?"

"What did I do?" I echoed, unsure. "I don't understand."

"To get their love," she elaborated. "What did you do to make them love you? Was there a specific pattern or a way you acted? Were you simply their romantic preference?" She scrutinized me, studying me closely as her intense eye contact returned. "Is it a formula? To find love? There are steps to follow, things you need to do, after all, so what did you do?"

"I don't know," I said eventually. "I was just...Faeryn."

"What is just Faeryn?" she pressed. "What did you do as just Faeryn?"

"Oh, I...I don't know. I didn't mask as much."

"Mask?"

"Yeah, like, mask who I am so they would like me. I usually do that so I won't get bullied or...so people will like me."

"Mask," she repeated. "I've never heard that term."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "How long have you been diagnosed?"

"Uh, since I was a kid. It's just been a diagnosis. It doesn't define me."

"I know. Did you have support growing up? Like maybe a speech therapist? I'm not saying you needed one then or now," I was quick to add. "I had one, so I was just wondering."

"No therapists. I got diagnosed because I have epilepsy, and then one thing led to the other, and there. Diagnosis." She patted her throat lightly. "I don't know what masking is or why it matters."

"Well...that's okay," I responded, thinking it was a topic for another day. "It's just something some Autistic people do as a coping/protective mechanism, like, high-masking Autistic people."

"High-masking?"

I blinked. "Yeah, it's a term used in the community to talk about Autistic people who make a really big effort to hide their symptoms."

"Oh." She winced, covering her mouth as she coughed. "You know more about it than I do, but I don't need to know about Autism to be a lawyer."

"Okay."

"I can get accommodations though. That's all the diagnosis is has been good for." She rolled her eyes, breathing shortly. "Fuck."

"Are you okay?"

"I can't breathe."

I pursed my lips worriedly. "What usually makes this feel better?"

"I have anxiety medication, but Ryker threw it away, which is why I'm drinking." She shook the Soju bottle. "I am trying to take the edge off."

Jungkook tensed considerably, and his words left him quickly. "It's illegal to throw someone's medication away."

"It's not," she returned, "if I don't have proof that he did it."

"What about your epilepsy medication?" Hoseok prodded. "I know stress can trigger a seizure." He carefully noted the bottle of Soju. "So can alcohol."

"I can get a refill for my anxiety and epilepsy medication," she told him. "Probably today if I call now. And it is fine, about the drinking." In an undertone, she added, "As long as I don't drink too much."

"Call now," I breathed out, giving her my phone. "We can drive you to the pharmacy."

She made the call quickly, and as soon as it ended, she revealed, "I can pick it up in an hour."

"Oh, good," I said, relieved. "Until then, we'll try to stay calm so you won't have a seizure."

"I'm the one with epilepsy. I know how it works."

"I know, I didn't mean it that way."

"I read your intent wrong, I guess." She tugged her shirt away from her chest, massaging her throat now. "Besides, I can't mix medication with alcohol, so I won't be able to take them."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, pained. "Do you...how about we do something that calms you down? We can talk about living arrangements later."

"No," she refuted. "I'll be anxious if we don't find a conclusion."

"Okay," I agreed. "Then you can decide."

She nodded slowly, wheezing as she tried to breathe. "I'll pay rent for both places," she decided after a few minutes. "I will gather evidence of what Ryker did. I have a few texts, but they were...evasive, so I'll...see him again."

I hesitated. "What?"

"If I can see him and record his behavior secretly, my parents will believe me. It's not illegal to voice record with single-party consent."

"But...it's not safe."

"It won't be safe when I'm without money because my parents don't believe me." She twitched and closed her eyes. "Decision made."

"Faeryn?" Jin prompted me, his voice rigid and strained. "Do you want her living at your apartment?"

I nodded. "Yes, I want her there."

He dipped his chin, but I could tell he didn't agree with my decision. "Then we'll write up an agreement that goes along with your lease, discussing payments and what will happen if there is any damage to your apartment. Ryker," he ground out, "is not allowed anywhere near the apartment complex, Kenley, under no circumstances. You will record him elsewhere if you decide to see him. Am I understood?"

She mumbled her affirmative response.

"Okay," I picked up with when everyone remained silent. "Is there a specific time when Ryker isn't at the apartment? Maybe we could get your things."

"He's jobless," she muttered. "He's always there."

"Do you...want to give him written notice? Then we can get your things, even if you don't live there."

She thought about this. "Yes. If he hasn't already trashed my things and blamed it on a meltdown I had."

I felt sick. "He did that?"

"Yes. He told my parents I was triggered by stress at work and had an Autistic meltdown. I did not. He trashed a few of my things because he was upset, but he told me not to tell them. He said he would be embarrassed, and he was being vulnerable with me, so I...I agreed." She sighed. "I thought vulnerability was a good sign of growth, but it was just..."

"Manipulation," I concluded.

"Yes." She hid her face between her thighs. "One hour."

The hour was painful for her, and we mostly sat in awkward silence, but when it was up, Namjoon drove her and me to the pharmacy. We went through the drive thru option, and back at the hotel, she took a shower, saying it would help.

The rest of us waited in the living area.

Jin spoke up. "She can remain here tonight."

"No," I refused immediately. "I don't want her to stay alone."

His jaw tightened. "Faeryn, you are doing more than enough for her."

"She's scared and alone," I said hotly. "Her parents don't believe her, she's heartbroken, and if she has a seizure, there will be no one here. I am not leaving."

He rubbed his temples. "I'm not comfortable with you staying in the same room as her. Yes, she was abused and is heartbroken, but we don't know her well. It's a safety concern, and I need you to listen to me when I tell you it's not safe whether or not you care about her well-being. Yours is more important to me."

"I don't have seizures," I pointed out.

"She has her medication."

"She can't take it right now," I countered. "So...I can sleep on one bed and she can sleep on the other."

"She won't be comfortable with one of us remaining with you," he said stiffly. "And we are not comfortable leaving her alone with you."

"She's not going to do anything," I insisted.

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that she will," I persisted. "And we haven't asked her if it's okay if one of you stays with me, so you don't know that either."

He closed his eyes, and I realized he was trying to calm himself down. 

"We'll ask her," Namjoon took over. "When she's done showering."

Jungkook nibbled on his lip. "What are we going to do when she's done? It's been so awkward, and I don't mean to sound insensitive because I know she's going through a lot, but I...I feel so uncomfortable, hyungs."

They noticeably tensed as their protective nature of him showed. 

Hoseok responded first. "We'll figure something out, okay? You're not being insensitive by feeling the awkwardness. Things are...tense." He sighed, running his hand through his hair absently. "We don't know her well, and there's slight animosity we're holding because of how she spoke of Faeryn, making things worse. But Faeryn's right; Kenley is currently a victim, and we need to be kind."

"Yes," Jungkook agreed readily. "I'll be kind."

"I know you will," he said softly. "You were kind explaining the sign to her."

"She's on high alert," Jungkook noted, frowning. "Because of Ryker, so she thinks we'll do little things he used to do."

Namjoon shifted, pulling Jungkook closer to his side. "Most likely."

"I hope she doesn't have a seizure," Jungkook admitted, tucking his face near Namjoon's arm. "On top of everything else that happened to her today."

Jungkook's empathy leaked through the room and tugged at mine. "We'll try to keep her as calm as possible," I said firmly. "She already has a plan and a place to stay, so that should help. Hopefully."

"Yeah, hopefully," he seconded. "You're being so kind, Faeryn."

"You were all kind to me," I answered quietly. "I don't understand why the others can't be kind to her."

"We are being kind." Jimin scratched his face tiredly. "But keep in mind the things she said to you. What Lohee said to and about you."

"I haven't forgotten them," I rebutted. "But you know what else I haven't forgotten? How I felt when I was with Ryker and first left him, how muddled my mind was. How irritated, upset, and sporadic I was. I was a different person with him way before you knew me—way before I decided I would hide money from him so I could save up and leave."

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I was snappy at work to others because I was being abused and didn't really realize it, and that doesn't make it right, but it doesn't make Kenley the villain Ryker is. She's in pain, and just because I was pliant and kinder when you all met me doesn't make me a better victim than she is. I'm not any more loveable than she is, and I know you don't and won't love her like you love me—I don't want you to, and you know that—but that doesn't mean you can't be kind and keep your feelings to yourself because I promise that whatever she's feeling is worse than what you're feeling for my sake."

"We hear you," Jimin confirmed. "But hear us. Just because she's a victim of abuse doesn't mean we have to like her. We'll be polite, but what she said about you was wrong, whether in the height of abuse or not. That's my take on that, and you don't have to like it or agree. It's there."

"Fine, it can be there, I don't care." I looked away from him, pissed. "You don't have to get it, and you can keep being upset over words she said that don't have anything to do with you."

"They have everything to do with me," he returned with both brows raised. "She was speaking horribly about you while you suffered the consequences of her disbelief. Do you think I want to help someone who hurt you?"

I put my hand up. "I don't want to talk about it. You're not going to get it because you weren't in our situation, and you're too upset to use any empathy. Fine."

"I am using empathy, but I'm not being overly empathetic, which is what you want me to be."

"I want you to be kind!" I insisted.

"We rented the biggest room for her safety and comfort. Is that not kind enough?"

"Her parents financially supported her but didn't emotionally. Is that kind enough? Do you see how that ended?"

His lips set into a straight line. "That's not the same."

"It is to me."

"All right," Namjoon broke through, his voice slightly heightened to match ours. "Facts or emotions; which one are we speaking? Kenley should be done soon, and I don't want anything simmering between us."

"Both," I spat out. "Jimin's just speaking emotions."

With his elbow resting on his knee from where he sat, Jimin rested his temple against his palm. 

Namjoon chided lightly, "You don't speak for Jimin, Faeryn."

I crossed my arms. "Well, he didn't disagree."

Namjoon glanced at him. "Jimin? Facts or emotions?"

Jimin's fingers danced around his temple, his eyes trained solely on me. "Both."

I scoffed.

"Faeryn," Namjoon warned. 

"I don't need any of you to be mad for me," I snapped. "If I'm not as angry as you are about what was said about me, drop it. You're being ridiculous."

"Don't shoot words around," Hoseok joined the conversation, his words aimed at me. "No one here is being ridiculous; they're communicating. That's all. And nothing we're currently speaking about is ridiculous."

"Ridiculous," I repeated angrily. "If I hadn't been the perfect victim, you wouldn't have—"

"We wouldn't have what?" Jimin cut me off, his brows shooting up. "Taken you in? Liked you? Yes, Faeryn, that's right. Do you know why? Because if you were cruel, it wouldn't have been safe for you to be in our home. If you spoke badly about any of us, would it have been smart to give you a place with us? 

"You're telling me you snapped at others at work before we knew you, and that can be true, but snapping and speaking ill of others is different, and I'm allowed to have that opinion. But you are not Kenley, and you will never be, because that's not who you are. You would rather speak badly about yourself than others whether you're being abused or not.

"You're making excuses for her behavior because you see yourself in her, and I want to make myself clear, because there is no such thing as the perfect victim or the better victim. This has nothing to do with her being a victim; it has to do with her character, because if she so easily spoke badly of you while with Ryker, she's spoken badly of others outside of this relationship when she wasn't being abused. That is why I don't trust, like, or enjoy her presence."

My chest heaved. "You're not being fair to her."

"I have been, but I care about you, and allowing someone into your home who could go to her friends and others to badmouth you and what you choose to tell her about your life isn't something I agree with."

"I don't care," I snapped. "Because it's not your decision to make."

"I'm aware it's not, otherwise it wouldn't have been made."

"This is enough," Yoongi decided, looking between us with creased features. "The conversation is not going anywhere good, and everyone's emotions are heightened. We should agree to continue later when things calm down."

Kenley entered the living area with damp hair and a pair of clothes we picked up at the pharmacy.

She looked at everyone. "I was eavesdropping."

Jimin deadpanned.

"I apologized to Faeryn," she continued. "And I'll apologize to you because you're upset." She lifted her chin high. "I'm sorry for speaking badly about her. I talk about people behind their backs, it's true, but it is not meant to be mean. It's to try to process why they make certain life decisions because I struggle with empathy."

She grunted. "The psychologist who diagnosed me said it was because of Autism. I remember that because I have always struggled with it, so his words stuck with me. To try and gain empathy, I talk about people and what they've told me so I can process it and try to understand, and I know that wasn't exactly my full intent when talking about Faeryn, and that's why I apologized. Because it was mean like you said—she was trying to help me, and I made her the villain so Ryker wouldn't be."

She turned to me. "Faeryn, there is nothing wrong with being a receptionist. It doesn't pay much and yes, you don't have a degree or college experience, but I'm sure you're smart in your own way."

"Yes," I said, determined. "I am."

"HYBE is an established company," she responded matter-of-factly. "You have to be smart to earn a job there, so yes, you are smart, even if it's not in the way I'm smart. Differences exist, and that's fine. Not everyone can be a lawyer. Someone has to be the receptionist, and I'm sure you are a good receptionist. Plus," she added. "You are loved by many men. I'm not loved by any. That is a very big accomplishment."

"You'll find someone who will love you," I told her assiduously. "I thought I wouldn't after Ryker, but I did, so you will, too."

"Well, sure, I can hope, but no one knows for sure." She tugged her shirt's neckline up and pulled it back, allowing it to cling to her neck. "Anyway, there is my apology because what I did was wrong, and I didn't realize how much it upset everyone." She nodded curtly. "What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"There is usually a list of things to do to make someone less angry. Everything is a system, Faeryn. Usually, things begin to calm, and if not, I can find the right formula of words to say."

"Oh." I nodded thoughtfully. "That's kind of true."

"It is tried and true."

"Apologies usually take a little longer, and...everyone's still a little upset," I told her, slightly annoyed with my men. "But you don't have to do anything else. You already apologized and explained yourself. I get it, and I'm the one you talked badly about, so I accept your apology."

"Ah. Good." She gestured to the next room. "I can sleep alone. I will be fine."

"Oh, okay. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I will be more comfortable that way, too. I want to be alone after...being stuffed in that apartment with Ryker."

"Okay, then you can have that room," I let her know. "It's all yours, but you can also come in the living area, too. I'll tell you what room I'm staying in once I know, so if you need anything—"

"I won't."

"Oh."

"You're being kind, Faeryn." She kept her hand behind her head, keeping her shirt tugged tightly against her neck. "I will be fine because there are steps to be fine. I've seen them online in forums; how to survive after narcissistic abuse. I will follow those steps, get proof of what he did to me, and everything will return to normal."

Rubbing my arm, I opted for a slow nod. "Okay, but it might not be linear."

"It's a list. I will follow it, check it, and complete it. That's how it works."

"Well, yeah, but trauma makes things...different."

"Um, no." She walked forward. "I will do more research later, but I have been reading the past few weeks, and today was the final point. It mentioned that in the forum."

Not sure she would listen to me, I nodded. "Okay. If for any reason it doesn't work linear like you want it to, that's okay, too." I squinted. "Does that help the swelling in your thyroid? Keeping your shirt like that?"

She looked down at her actions. "Yes. It applies pressure to the swelling and gives me relief."

"When will the medication make it better?"

"It shouldn't take too long, but I can't take it with alcohol, so...I'll take it tomorrow. But the alcohol helped enough until then."

"That's good," I offered. "What do you want to do now?"

"Be alone."

"Okay, you can go in that room. We'll go find which rooms we want, but just tell us if you need anything."

She disappeared into her assigned room, leaving us to ourselves.

I crossed my arms. "I want to be alone, too."

"You can," Hoseok confirmed. "Go pick a room; we'll be out here."

Barely sparing anyone else a glance, I left in search of solitude.

꧁꧂

Solitude ended with Jungkook almost two hours later.

Slipping onto my bed with me, he nudged his head against my arm from where I lay curled next to the pillows.

"Hyungs mean well," he murmured into my hair, nuzzling against me. "They're on edge, and anyone being mean to you brings out their protectiveness." He kissed my temple, hooking his leg with mine. "They're calmer now."

He peeked into my face when I didn't respond. "How do you feel?"

I shrugged. 

He kissed my chin apologetically. "I'm not taking sides, so I'm sorry if what I said made it sound like I was on hyungs' side. Tensions were just high, right? I think you and Jimin both made good points, especially since you're both experiencing this...differently? If that makes sense." 

He chewed the inside of his cheek. "You understand Kenley because you've been in her position before, and even though Jimin kind of understands, his dislike for her is...a lot. And he's protective about people he cares about, and he cares about you so much."

He quieted. "You didn't see your face after Lohee said those things to you and...told us that Kenley badmouthed you." His nose scrunched. "It looked like you'd been...gutted."

My eyes flickered away. "It doesn't matter."

"It does," he insisted quietly. "You went through so much, and you were so heartbroken when Kenley didn't believe you because it meant she would still be hurt. While you were suffering, she was just...badmouthing you."

"No," I said sharply. "She was suffering; Ryker was abusing her."

"You were suffering from the effects of his abuse, too." He squeezed me tightly. "I get it. I...I understand you and Kenley more than hyungs do because I was...you know."

My frustration towards him dimmed, and I eased closer to him. "I know."

"People can still do mean things even when they're being abused. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be helped, it just means they did not-so-nice things."

I nodded slowly. "But does that really matter right now? They made such a big deal about it when our main focus should be to make sure she's feeling okay. I mean, she just left Ryker, and her parents don't believe her, but we should force her to apologize for something she said about me in the height of the abuse?"

My eyes flashed. "No. That's not an apology I want, and that's my decision to make, not anyone else's. I know why she did it; if I was the villain, Ryker didn't have to be, and she was in denial."

"I know," he whispered. "It still doesn't make it right. It just makes it make sense. Like...an explanation for bad behavior, but...I'm sure Ryker has a reason he's the way he is now. Does that matter?"

I tensed. "That's different."

"It is," he agreed. "But...it still kind of makes my point, I think. We can't make excuses for people's bad behavior, but we can explain it. Apologies are good, and you're right, because I think an apology wasn't really the main point today. The main point was just to keep her safe, but...I think hyungs saw her being here as safe, because it is, but I don't think they realized that she doesn't feel safe."

"Yes," I agreed, relieved he understood. "That's exactly it, and pressuring her to apologize right after her parent's cut her off and she left Ryker is ridiculous."

"Well..." He bit his lower lip. "Hoseok hyung said not to use that term."

I muttered, "He can't tell me what word I can and can't use. It was ridiculous." I glanced at him. "What? It was."

"I...don't want to use that word," he said eventually, shifting slightly.

"You don't have to, but I will."

He continued his nervous lip biting. "You're still angry at hyungs?"

"Yes," I mumbled. "Because they obviously still think their way is the only right way. They've never been abused, so they don't know shit."

His eyes widened. "Faeryn."

"What?"

"Please don't say that," he entreated. "They've researched a lot about abuse to help me and then you. They're trying their best, they really are."

I shrugged angrily. "They still don't know what it's like to be abused, and they're making their priority me, the safe person, when it should be Kenley, the current victim."

"Their priority will always be you."

"Well, it should've been pushed aside a little," I insisted. "For Kenley. She has seizures!"

"I know, but Namjoon took her to get medication, and she said the alcohol helped her anxiety."

I spat out, "We don't agree, and we won't. Kenley should've been the top priority."

Frazzled, he bit down hard enough on his lip to draw blood, and my anger dwindled until it shrunk. 

"Jungkook," I whispered. "You're bleeding."

"What?" he managed, lifting his thumb to his lip. Wincing when he saw the blood, he untangled himself from me. "I'm sorry. I'll just—I'll go clean it."

I hurried after him, taking his hand and holding it tightly as we entered the adjoining bathroom. I wiped around his lip carefully with water and applied pressure with my thumb until the bleeding stopped. It didn't take long, but neither of us looked at each other during the process. Eventually, my thumb fell away, and I pushed his hands beneath the water so we could wash our hands.

As we dried our hands, I neglected the towel and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I rasped. "I know how anxious conflict makes you."

"It's okay," he said, high-pitched. "This isn't about me."

"You're just trying to make it better." I hugged him tightly. "You don't want us to fight."

"I...I know that everyone here doesn't want to fight. I don't even think Kenley wants to fight."

I exhaled. "But we disagree."

"But maybe you can disagree about certain things and come to a conclusion on other things," he suggested. "Maybe that can help."

"Like...what things?"

"Well, Jimin doesn't agree on Kenley living with you because he thinks she'll continue badmouthing you, which will hurt you. Plus, we don't know her very well, so he and the others don't think it's very safe. Maybe we could...come up with ways that will make it feel more safe since you already made your decision."

I mulled this over. "Okay. What ideas?"

"Oh, well, I don't know." He blushed. "I haven't gotten that far."

I smiled a little. "It's okay. It's a good idea so far."

He relaxed a bit. "Really?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "One thing to agree on is better than none."

 "And maybe it will help with the tension," he said hopefully. "Oh! I have an idea. What if we got to know Kenley a little more? That could help them feel better about her living in your apartment."

"That's a good idea," I agreed. "But I'm not sure anything will make them feel better about my decision."

His shoulder slumped. "Maybe."

I rubbed his shoulders and moved back, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better."

He looked crestfallen. "It didn't work?"

"Having you with me makes me feel better," I assured him, hating the sadness leaking through his expression. "I'm just not...feeling good about the situation. I feel nice because at least you understand."

"Hyungs understand," he insisted. "They just don't like Kenley and don't feel comfortable with a stranger living in your apartment. Can't we all just agree to disagree and move on?"

I looked away. "I'm still upset."

"Do you want to try to talk with them again?"

"I don't know."

"Please?" he asked hopefully. "Can we all just try again?"

For his sake, I relented. "One more time, but after this, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He sighed with relief. "Thank you. One more time."

He pulled me after him, keeping my hand in his, and I stiffened when we entered the living area. Everyone was lounging around, some sitting on the floor or in chairs playing a card game, scrolling through their phones, or resting. When they heard Jungkook and I approach, however, their attention signaled in on us.

I wanted to bolt, but Jungkook led me forward. 

"We're trying our talk again," he told everyone, trying to make his voice sound bigger than it usually was. "One more time."

Hoseok slowly set his pile of cards down. "Is everyone okay with one more time?"

When everyone confirmed, they awaited my confirmation. 

I stepped back but nodded.

Hoseok watched my movements carefully. "Was that a yes or a no?"

Jungkook glanced at me worriedly, and it pushed me to rasp a strained, "Yes."

Hoseok faltered. "Sweetheart, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. We can hold it off for later."

"Later?" I shook my head quickly. "No. Now."

"It can be set for later," he countered gently. "There's no rush."

"Rumination makes it a rush," I said sharply. "We'll talk now."

His brows raised slightly. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Are you kidding me?" I all but burst. "This whole day has been full of all of you telling me that my ideas are not good! When Jungkook said you calmed down, I should've known it wasn't true."

"All right," he responded. "You can go back into your room if you'd rather not be around us. We understand."

We. United without me.

My eyes stung. "I'm going to check on Kenley."

"She said she wanted to be alone."

Exasperated and growing upset rapidly, I stormed to the door, grabbed my shoes and purse, and slammed the door. They called after me, but I ignored them angrily, power walking down the halls to take the stairs. I was too upset to stand in an elevator.

"Faeryn—" Namjoon was swiftly approaching, but I sped up, determined to leave him behind. "Faeryn, baby, hold on."

I refused, hot tears accumulating in my eyes as I yanked open the door and descended the stairs to the lobby. As soon as the door closed, he opened it, hot on my trail.

"Be careful," he warned as I hurried down the stairs, falling into place a few steps behind me. "I don't want you to fall."

"You don't want me to do anything today!"

"Running down the stairs while you're upset isn't safe, Faeryn, and I care about you, so please slow down."

I didn't, but I gripped the banister for support as I continued my jog.

In the lobby moments later, I swung open the door to enter and beelined it for the exit. I felt him right behind me, and enraged, I whirled around and demanded, "Leave me alone!"

His steps halted when mine did, and his forehead creased as he looked down at me. "I can't."

"Are you kidding me?! I'm not a child!"

"I never said you were, but you're upset, and I don't feel comfortable letting you go like this."

"You don't feel comfortable with any of my decisions today!" My tears shone angrily, not daring to fall. "It's so humiliating."

He faltered, and his features dropped. "Baby." The corners of his face pinched. "Come back inside. We'll talk like you wanted; Hoseok thought the conversation wouldn't be good to have when everything was so heightened, ending how it did the first time."

"He can see into the future now?!"

"No, baby, you're right. He can't see into the future. He was just looking out for us."

"Not all of us," I refused indignantly. "The only person who wasn't a part of 'us' was me."

A short breath left his lips, laced with surprise. "We're not excluding you; that's the last thing any of us want to do. Hoseok was setting a realistic boundary to keep another argument from occurring, but you can stay with us in the living area. We want you with us always."

I glared. "You just won't respect my decisions."

"We respect you more than you know, and your decisions are a part of that. It doesn't mean we have to agree."

"How does that even make any sense?!"

"We know why you want to help Kenley," he explained. "And we respect that. We can also see it from an outside perspective because we haven't gone through what you have—what Ryker put you and Kenley through."

He exhaled shortly. "Kenley said things about you that we can't easily forgive because of how much we respect and care about you. Seeing you give her a place to stay makes us feel like she's disrespecting you."

"You don't understand!" I insisted. "You don't know how it feels to be manipulated like Ryker manipulated us. She said what she said about me because she genuinely believed it."

"I know," he confirmed, strained. "I know I don't understand, and I won't pretend to. For your sake, I'm sorry that I don't. I know my lack of understanding is hurting you, and truthfully, Faeryn, I don't know when it will arrive. I'm angry with her whether it's rational or not, and it's clouded because it's mixed with both emotions and facts."

His unexpected apology made me hesitate, and I blinked at him as people passed around us, not hiding their ogling stares. He sent hard looks their way, and once caught in the act, people scurried to look away, busying themselves with something else.

Setting his attention back on me, he released a tight exhale. "If you want to go back upstairs and talk, we'll set boundaries and stop the conversation before it escalates. That would help everyone stay in check, okay? It wouldn't be only for your sake."

"Why couldn't Hoseok have said that sooner?" I demanded.

"If you could see how anxious you looked when Jungkook said we would try talking again, you would understand, but since you're outside of our view of you, you can't." He sighed softly. "He was worried, and he spoke on it before any of us could. I know you wouldn't want to join a conversation one of us weren't completely okay to be a part of."

Pursing my lips, my anger hated how his words made sense, but my heart tugged with relief. 

"I don't want to have the talk right now," I decided hotly. "I want to go somewhere with Lyric if Kenley's okay with staying with everyone."

"All right," he murmured. "That's a good idea."

My anger boiled. "Why can't you say that to any of my other ideas today?"

"Because this idea is directly linked to your safety and helping you regulate."

"Not every decision I make is going to be about me," I retorted.

"I know, but in relationships—no matter what kind—there isn't always 100% agreement. It's okay to disagree. We're human; it's what we do. But it's how we handle it that matters."

"I don't like how you handled it," I fumed.

"I understand, and I'm sorry. I'm still learning, Faeryn. We all are. But we care about you, and that's where our minds go first—to ensuring you're taken care of and safe. Kenley's safety is hardly as large on our radar as yours is, and as much as that might upset you to hear, it's true, and we'll never lie to you."

He peered down into my averted gaze. "Do you think you can understand that? She's a stranger who badmouthed you, and you're allowing her into your apartment—a place you worked hard for so you could be safe from Ryker. Can you see why we're hesitant, even though we respect your decision?"

My glare returned at full force. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"That's okay, but I'll stay here with you until Lyric comes, okay? Then you can go take a break with her."

I fumbled with my phone and shot him a final glare before turning and dialing Lyric. She picked up quickly, and when I gave a quick-run down, she gasped before concluding, "Ten minutes, stat!"

I ended the call with my thanks and slowly turned to Namjoon. "She'll be here in ten minutes."

"Thank you for telling me." He gestured to a seated area. "Do you want to wait there?"

"I don't want to sit with you," I blurted.

He smiled rigidly. "That's fine."

My stomach churned with anger, but now guilt was beginning to bloom. "You..." Unsure what to say, I trailed off, tucked my chin to my chest, and walked to the seated area.

He kept a distance between us as we walked, keeping one between us when we sat. He sat on a chair a few seats away from me, and I avoided eye contact, scrolling through the apps on my phone.

Ten minutes felt like an eternity, and when Lyric arrived, I jumped up and hurried to her.

"Fae," she exclaimed, pulling me into a strong embrace. "This is bullshit, I'm so sorry." She looked toward the escalators. "Is Kenley here?"

"Upstairs," I mumbled into her shoulder, enjoying the physical touch after hours of denying myself the usual comfort of my men. Jungkook's hold had been a wonderful relief, but I was worried that the confrontation had dimmed it.

She kept me close. "Let's go; we can get coffee, yeah? A good cup of coffee is so necessary right now."

I felt myself nod, and she squeezed me tighter.

Namjoon approached with his hands pushed deeply into his pockets. "Lyric."

She looked between us, recognizing the tension immediately. "Namjoon."

Turning his attention to me, Namjoon told me, "Kenley's fine to stay with us. I texted Taehyung to ask her."

I nodded, relieved. "Okay."

"Enjoy your time." His eyes flickered after mine when I broke eye contact. "I love you."

"I love you," I muttered.

"All right," he murmured. "I'll see you later. Text us if you need anything."

Lyric ushered me away, tossing a glance at Namjoon before whispering, "What happened?"

My shoulders slumped, and I boarded her car quietly. Getting in, she started the car and looked at me worriedly.

"We'll need a big ass coffee," she decided.

"Hey," Cheverie said from the backseat, making me jolt with surprise.

"Cheverie?" I turned with wide eyes.

She rubbed her eyes drowsily. "Hey."

"What...are you doing here?"

"I hope you don't mind," Lyric stressed. "We were in the area when you called since it's our days off, so we were just—" She waved her hands, dismissing her words. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah." I blinked. "Hi."

Cheverie waved with a yawn. 

"Were you...sleeping?" I asked. "When you were hanging out?"

"We've been up for a while," Lyric admitted, reversing us out of the parking lot. "We had a late night at party and haven't been to sleep since."

I gaped at her. "Why not?"

"We have to enjoy our day off to the fullest!" She turned to me seriously. "What happened though? Seeing Ryker again must have been a jump scare."

I shrunk in my seat, crossing my arms. "Kenley's going to live in my apartment."

"What?" they raised in question.

"You're my friends," I pleaded, exhausted. "Please be on my side."

"What?! Of course we're on your side!" Lyric drove us to our favorite bookstore. "Just tell us all the details."

I took a deep breath.

And told them everything.

Notes:

this was intense omggggg what do yall think?! it's getting a little crazy in hereeeee

Chapter 57: Anger's Bitter Aftertaste

Summary:

Lyric and Cheverie help ease Faeryn's turmoil and anger. Back at the hotel, Faeryn tries to build up enough courage to talk to Taehyung after what happened.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Browsing through the bookstore, Lyric heaved out a surprised breath.

“Fuck that small-dicked man!” she exclaimed with vigor.

Cheverie elbowed her, hissing through her teeth to calm down as she offered a smile—more of a wince—to fellow shoppers.

“I’m serious,” Lyric insisted, huffing and puffing in her attempt to take deep breaths—courtesy of Cheverie’s reminders. “He has such small dick energy, it’s insane. Who the fuck targets Autistic people? How evil can you be?!”

Cheverie, equally as peeved, although quieter, rubbed her forehead with her palm. “He’s disgusting.” She looked at me closely. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” I muttered, sipping my coffee for solace. Lyric purchased me the largest, fattest iced latte I could want, offering unlimited refills. “But I’m sure Kenley feels worse.”

“It’s so unfair,” Lyric wailed. “I’m going to become a lawyer just to take on her case.”

“That would take too long,” Cheverie pointed out. “And it won’t stop the sting of her shitty lawyer parents cutting her off for a man they’ve known for six months.”

“I know,” I agreed. “And the guys were on high alert, which I understand, but I wish they could tone it down a little.”

“She was rude to you, but shit, I would be rude to everyone if I was dating a puny dick man called Ryker.” She resumed her huffing and puffing with Cheverie’s coaxing. “Piece of shit. He’s not even a man! Real men don’t act like that; evil, fucked up shit-heads do.”

Cheverie trailed the spine of a book, flipping it open absently. “What are you going to do with Kenley? Have you decided on a lease yet?”

I shook my head. “We will before she moves in.”

“Will you live with her?”

“I…” I shrugged, deflating. “I talked with Hoseok on our vacation, and not in a lot of detail, but it felt like I was going to move back in with them. Now? It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” Cheverie pressed. “Don’t tell me you’re going to turn down an invitation you’ve been wanting because they don’t agree with your decision. They’re still respecting it.”

“I’m not going to,” I agreed, gnawing my lip. “But it doesn’t feel special like I wanted it to feel.”

She nodded. “That’s valid, but everything’s also heightened right now. I’m sure it will feel special when everything calms down.”

“Maybe,” I said dejectedly.

“Hey.” Lyric slung her arm around my shoulder. “It’ll be okay. Kenley has a plan to make her parents believe her—as shitty as that is—she has a place to stay, and once everything settles, her parents will apologize to her and be better.”

“That’s…a hopeful outcome.” I flicked my fingers. “It might not happen, and it’s not safe for her to go near Ryker.”

“But it’s her choice,” Cheverie responded firmly. “You can’t make it for her, and you can’t stop her. You can’t fix everything, Faeryn. You’re going to have to let this one go. Her mind is made up just like yours is.”

“She makes a good point,” Lyric mused. “You’ll respect Kenley’s decision even though you don’t agree and are worried about her, just like your harem feels about your decision to let her live in your apartment.”

I blinked a few times. “That’s…”

“True?” She slurped what was left of her iced latte. “I know. I’m smart. But it puts it into perspective, doesn’t it? The only reason there’s this conflict between you guys is because they care about you, and you care about helping Kenley. It’s a pretty good conflict to have; you just need to find a way to meet in the middle.”

“I can’t find one,” I stressed. “Jungkook tried to help, and I feel bad that he couldn’t.”

“That’s not something you should feel bad about,” Cheverie pointed out. “Not everyone can help all the time, and this is a serious issue. One or two talks might not get to the bottom of it.”

“More than two talks?” I whispered, aggrieved.

“It stresses you out?”

“I hate fighting with them. And…” I winced. “I feel horrible for how I talked to them today. They’re always just trying to do what’s best for me, but things seem so complicated since everything happened today with Kenley—and I don’t regret helping her,” I added quickly, “but I regret how things went between my men and me.”

“That’s what apologies are for,” Lyric chirped. “Kiss and make up. You guys are endgame, for real. I’m not seeing any other option.”

“Kiss and makeup,” I repeated glumly.

“Yesss,” she coaxed. “I know you’re all freaky; you’ve done more than kiss and make up, so this should be a piece of cake.”

“Lyric!” I squeaked.

“Huh? What?” She looked around innocently. “Was it something I said?”

Cheverie sighed. “Lyric, as unfortunate as it is, has a point.”

“Thanks, honey bug! Wait…as unfortunate as it is?” Lyric’s eyes narrowed. “You’re my number one op apparently, okay, so what the fuck? Explain yourself? Like? Actually?”

“I don’t know how to kiss and make up right now,” I whispered. “I said they were ridiculous, even though Hoseok told me not to say that. I feel so bad.”

Cheverie narrowed her eyes. “He can’t dictate what you can and cannot say.”

“That’s what I said!” I said, surprised. With a few blinks, I lowered my voice when we garnered attention. “But I…still feel bad about it.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and motioned for me to continue. “What was his reasoning?”

“Oh yeah.” Lyric sipped her latte, now all ice. “She needs the reasoning before deciding if she’s going to whoop his ass or not. Besides, I like Hoseok. He coddles the fuckkkk out of you, and as nauseating as it is, it’s kind of adorable, not gonna lie.”

I blushed furiously. “Lyric.”

“Huh? What? Was it something I said?”

Cheverie pressed, “Reasoning?”

I relayed, “No one here is being ridiculous; they’re communicating.”

“That’s what he said?”

“Yeah.”

She mulled this over. “Well, he’s got a point.”

I sipped through my straw, trying my best to breathe through the guilt of my reaction to the situation.

Lyric patted my back soothingly. “There, there. Cheverie’s a very common ground type of person. She’s trying to find common ground for you guys.”

“He set a reasonable boundary,” Cheverie concurred. “Calling them ridiculous wouldn’t help the conversation; it would only worsen the state of it.”

Lyric whistled, impressed. “Look at Cheverie really putting her psych studies into play here.”

“You go to college, too?” I asked her. “I…I didn’t go to college.”

“Yeah, you told me.” Cheverie cocked her head. “You just work a high-paying receptionist job that certain people, even with degrees couldn’t achieve, have enough money to pay for an apartment you’re going to let someone else live in, took the steps to start your healing journey in therapy, and have seven men who would do anything for you.”

I sniffled.

“Aw, Fae,” Lyric fretted, throwing her arm around my waist. “I’m so sorry about what Kenley and her parents said. It’s shitty and untrue. There’s nothing wrong with not having a college degree or any plans to get one. We live on a floating ball in space! Who the fuck cares what you do with your life as long as you’re happy and not hurting anyone?”

I wiped my nose tearfully. “It’s just…a big insecurity I have.”

“Why?” they asked, encouraging me to open up.

“Because,” I tried my best to explain. “I…felt like this before Ryker said anything about it, but I wish I could’ve been a smarter Autistic person like…Kenley. She’s going to be a lawyer. Why couldn’t my special interest be science or math, or being a lawyer?” My voice broke. “Why is it dinosaurs?”

Cheverie frowned. “Dinosaurs are cool. There’s even a career field there, and given how much you know about it, you’d be great.”

“Yeah,” Lyric seconded strongly. “A paleontologist, right?”

I blinked. “Yeah, that’s—yeah. A paleontologist.”

“Besides,” Lyric huffed. “Everyone is smart in their own way, Autistic or not. What’s that quote? Comparison is the thief of joy? Something like that? Well, whatever it is, it’s true! You’re so creative and full of joy, Fae. You have such an artistic eye, and you are so talented with crochet. You also do some accounting work, and that includes math, so! Yeah!! Pretty fucking cool!”

I smiled bashfully.

She beamed. “EEEK! There’s your smile. It’s been a long hour without it, seriously. I love that cute little smile.”

Cheverie smiled a bit. “Don’t let what they said get to you. People’s hate stems from learned behavior and insecurity.”

“Okay!” Lyric snapped her fingers. “You ate that one thing.”

Cheverie sighed. “Can you be serious? For once?”

“I was plenty serious last night,” Lyric fought back. “Our serious little convo and shit.”

Cheverie dismissed her words, readdressing me. “You’re fucking cool, and yeah, Kenley said what she said, but she apologized. Your men don’t have to be cool with that, but you are, and they respect that. It’s a great first step toward a resolution, even one that simply smooths this situation over between you all.”

“Like what?” I wondered.

“That’s up to all of you to decide.”

“Back to my idea,” Lyric chimed. “How about you kiss and make up? A little frisky behavior never hurt anyone.”

“That wouldn’t work,” I said through my burning blush. “They won’t do anything sexual if we’re not in a good place or if they’re not 100% sure I’m okay.”

“Oh. Really?” Lyric rubbed the side of her face. “That’s…actually so thoughtful.”

Cheverie looked at her weirdly. “That’s the bare minimum.”

“Then I’ve never had the bare minimum in my relationships, the fuck?”

“Lyric, I’ve told you this time and time again, but you need a therapist. There’s so much to unpack here.”

“Don’t diagnose me, you freak!”

“Guys,” I diverted the topic from their strange, new dynamic. “Do you have any suggestions? I don’t know what to do; we’ve never argued like this before.”

Lyric sighed dramatically. “Well, the ball’s in your court. Namjoon looked shitty as hell, seriously. I bet he’s worried sick.”

My stomach twisted unpleasantly. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“He’s a grown man,” Cheverie cut in. “He’s fine.”

“Grown men can still have emotions.”

“I didn’t say otherwise; I said he’s fine.”

I hung my head. “I spoke so badly to him.”

“We’ve all been there.” Lyric patted my shoulder. “There, there, Fae darling. It will be okay.” She sipped from my latte. “Mm, delicious. Do you want a refill? I need one.”

While she hurried away to claim our refills, Cheverie pushed the book she’d been examining back into the shelf. “Listen, Faeryn. Your harem is desperately in love with you, and while your feelings are valid, this disagreement stems from how much they care about you. You have to look at it from their perspective if you want them to look at it from yours.”

I hesitated. “What do you mean?”

“You were insulted by how many people today? Ryker, Kenley’s mother, Kenley’s father, and Kenley.” She raised both brows knowingly. “They’ve heard and seen the effects of Ryker’s abuse, and I’m sure they hate that they weren’t able to be there for you while you were in the thick of it. They could be overcompensating now. Plus, with Kenley planning to meet Ryker, I’m sure they’re worried she might reveal the location of your apartment to him.”

I blinked. “How did you know?”

“I’m seeing it from their point of view,” she responded with a shrug. “Putting myself in their shoes and envisioning what I would feel if I were them.”

I nodded slowly. “What…else do you think?”

“I think that since they weren’t able to protect you the first time, they’re hypervigilant and see Kenley as a threat, which, to be fair, she could be. She’s a stranger. They don’t want to see you get hurt, bottom line. They don’t want to argue, they just want you to be okay. Can you get that?”

I scuffed the floor with my shoe. “Yeah. A little.”

“I get it from both perspectives, and both are valid. Safety precautions with Kenley would be good, like setting up a doorbell camera to ensure she’s not bringing anyone over and writing out a lease to protect you from any potential damages. That would reassure everyone, plus if you live with them full time, I’m sure that would alleviate most of their worry. Have you talked to all of them about that or just Hoseok?”

“Just Hoseok.”

“Ahhh yeah. Does he usually talk to them about your private conversations?”

“Uh…it depends? I don’t know if he told them about that.”

“If not,” she decided, “they probably think you’re going to be living with her.”

Their reactions started to make a little more sense, and I covered my face with my hands.

She chuckled a bit. “Are you getting it?”

“Yes,” I muttered. “I don’t know why it’s taking so long to get it.”

“What did you say about your processing?”

“Uh…oh, yeah. Delayed processing.”

“Yeah, that could be a reason,” she guessed. “Or maybe you couldn’t hear it from them because they’re tied directly to the situation you’re upset about. A floating party like Lyric and me was helpful.”

I peeked at her through my fingers. “What do I do? I still feel angry at them, even when I feel guilty about how I acted.”

“Uh…how long does your anger usually stay? I don’t know if this is a stupid question, and I’m sorry if it is, but does Autism have anything to do with it?”

I whispered, “Yeah.”

“How? I’m still studying up on Autism, and I’m getting to that part of my class soon, but I’m not an expert or anything.”

“Rumination and a strong sense of justice.”

“Ah, right. You feel like they were being unfair to Kenley and to you, so you’re ruminating about it, and your sense of justice is high, making the anger linger. Close?”

“Exactly,” I confirmed my despair. “I don’t know how long I’ll keep feeling angry.”

“Nothing wrong with feeling angry.”

“I don’t like feeling it. I just want to get this over with so I can move on.”

She chuckled. “It doesn’t work like that.”

I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “I wish it would.”

“You tired?”

I nodded glumly.

“Maybe we could head back to our apartment,” she suggested. “I’m down for a nap.”

I gave another nod as Lyric came bounding back.

“Your latte refill!” she announced cheerily.

“We’re going to head out,” Cheverie told her. “We want to nap.”

“We’re leaving?!” Lyric looked around quickly. “But I haven’t found a book I want yet!”

“I can wait,” I quickly assured her through a yawn, wanting her to find a book.

She gasped, throwing her arms around me. “I couldn’t make you wait! Come on, come on. I’ll come back later, but let’s go get a nap. I’m sure Hoseok would have it out for me if I didn’t coddle you in his absence.”

I was back to blushing. “Lyric.”

“Huh? What? Was it something I said?”

꧁꧂

 

After a nap at their apartment, we cooked dinner together, and I watched their interactions with pleasant surprise.

They squabbled and bickered, but there was no heat behind it, and it never resulted in biting insults. They seemed calmer, although Cheverie still scowled whenever Lyric called her honey bug.

When 7 PM approached, Lyric wondered, “Do you want to go back? If not, you can just crash here. I’ll make a special spot for you.”

I shook my head. “No, I want to go back, even if I…” I swallowed. “Don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“They’ll just be happy to see you,” she reassured me. “They love you soooo bad, you lucky girl.”

I tried to smile, but it failed. Even if my nap had dimmed my anger, I felt groggy and worn out. Kenley’s parents had hit an open wound, and the insecurity was screaming in my head more often than not. I didn’t know how to speak with my men about it after today, and it wasn’t on the top of my agenda—making things right with them was, and knowing that some, if not all of them, were anxious about the situation, made me feel sick to my stomach.

“Aw, don’t be sad,” Lyric cooed, attacking me in a hug on the couch. “We’ll get you back to the hotel, and maybe Kenley will be up to hang out! You two could talk a little.”

“I don’t know,” I said uncertainly. “She’s hard to talk to.”

“Really?” Cheverie asked, surprised. “You guys don’t have things in common to talk about?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

Lyric encouraged, “You can get to know her a little more tonight. Play a game specifically made for that; you can download games on your phone! It could be fun.”

I chewed my lip. “Yeah. She just…makes me nervous,” I admitted. “I don’t like eye contact, but she makes it all the time. And she takes things really literally, which I do sometimes too, but she thinks my intent is something I don’t actually mean, and that’s okay, but she’s very accusatory. I think that’s because of Ryker or other people making her feel like she always has to be on high alert, so she takes a lot of what I say as an attack.”

“What’s she being accusatory of?” Cheverie queried.

“She keeps saying she’s not incompetent.”

“Huh. Yeah. She could be used to defending herself if that’s her go-to phrase to do it.”

I sucked air into my cheeks. “I just hope we can be friends. I know she already has friends, but…I don’t know if they’ll believe her, and I don’t want her to be alone. Maybe if we get to know each other more, she’ll know that I don’t think she’s incompetent when I tell her so.”

“That’s the spirit!” Lyric cheered. “Now come on, let’s get you to your men.”

We arrived at the hotel, and Lyric and Cheverie walked me to my floor. Knocking on the door, Lyric chirped jovially, “It’s your girlfriend’s favorite friend!”

“Lyric,” I chided, sending Cheverie an apologetic look.

Cheverie shook her head, unbothered. “I don’t give a shit.”

I inched toward her and tentatively opened my arms. She took the hint and gave me a side-hug, patting my arm as the door opened to reveal Taehyung. He looked exhausted, but he managed a smile.

“Hey,” he greeted, holding the door open wider.

“Hey, hey.” Lyric grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. “We brought your girl back.”

Taehyung hadn’t looked away from me since he opened the door. “Everyone’s relaxing and watching a movie. Kenley, too,” he offered as if her inclusion was a peace offering.

“Ooh, that’s nice.” Lyric nudged my hip. “Right, Fae?”

I mumbled incoherently, nervous enough to be buzzing.

“Well!” Lyric bumped my hip forward until I had no choice but to walk to the door. “See you tomorrow at HYBE!”

I managed a wave to her and Cheverie, and Taehyung did the same before closing and locking the door. Turning to me, he offered an unsure smile. “Hey.”

I directed my eyes at his shirt. “Hi.”

“Did you have fun?”

I shrugged, wincing right after I did, feeling like I needed to talk but unsure how to broach the argument earlier.

“I hope you did,” he added.

I tried to respond but couldn’t.

“Cheverie and Lyric were hanging out,” he noted.

I clasped my hands tightly.

“I had my crochet supplies with me in my work backpack,” he told me. “I’ve been crocheting while the movie’s been playing. Soon, I’ll have to buy a whole shelf to display the Pokémon I’ve made.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Do you want to crochet with me?”

I blurted the thoughts circulating in my head. “I don’t want to be mad anymore, Taehyung, I really don’t.”

“You don’t?” He exhaled shortly. “I don’t want you or anyone else here to be mad either. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

“I don’t know either,” I agreed quietly, feeling myself take a small step closer to him. I peeked into the adjoining rooms, unable to see everyone but able to hear them. “What…are you watching?”

“Oh, just some random movie channel.”

“Is everyone okay?” I asked tentatively.

“We’re okay,” he let me know with a small smile. “Everyone’s watching a movie.”

“Okay, that’s…that’s good.” I nodded slowly, hoping it meant that no one was too anxious or upset about the situation. “Is Kenley okay, too?”

“I think so,” he confirmed. “No seizures, so that’s good. We invited her to watch a movie with us,” he informed me. “That was around an hour or two ago, and everything’s been fine.”

“Has everyone been nice?” I braved the question. “Kenley, too?” I hesitated. “Is everyone really okay? Jungkook, especially? Conflict makes him really anxious.”

“Hey, we’re okay,” Taehyung reassured me. “I promise we’re okay. Jungkook’s actually doing a lot better than he usually does with conflict; he’s been watching self-help videos in his downtime. Kenley also doesn’t seem as wary of him, and she signed ‘found’ when we found the TV remote.”

I blinked up at him hopefully. “Really? Everyone’s okay, and Kenley even signed ‘found’?”

“Yes, really,” he confirmed quickly, eager to share something to lift my spirits. “Okay? So don’t worry. We’re okay, and Kenley’s okay. We all are, even if we’re having a disagreement, because you know what? We can all agree that we love you and that you love us. Right?”

I nodded as fast as I could. “Yeah, I love you so much.”

His shoulders noticeably slackened. “I love you so much—we all do. And hey, we don’t have to talk anymore about it tonight—unless you want to, okay? We talked, and whatever you want to do, we’ll do. We’ll just put boundaries in place like Namjoon told you, so none of us will get to the same level of upset as earlier. That wouldn’t be fun.”

I shook my head, starting to tear up.

“Hey.” He lowered himself slightly, angling his face to catch my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, feeling the hot tears burning my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” His brows tugged together. “For what?”

“For how I acted,” I said, distressed. “I just ran off, was snappish to Namjoon, argued with Jimin, snapped at Hoseok, and I didn’t listen to Jin about the sleeping arrangements.” My tears fell, hot and heavy, against my cheeks. “I did so many things wrong today, and I—I just want to fix everything, but I don’t know how, and I still feel angry. It’s the worst,” I fretted, looking at him anxiously. “I’m so sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, hey.” He closed the distance between us, concern creasing his forehead. “Tensions were high, right? Everyone could have handled things a little better, but that’s okay, I promise. We’re learning, and this is a first-time situation for everyone. It’s okay, really, because we’ll communicate and figure this out.”

“I want to say sorry to everyone,” I stressed. “I’m just nervous that since I still feel angry, I’ll snap without meaning to, and I don’t want to snap at any of you.” I wiped my nose frantically. “I just want to make things right.”

“We’re okay, I promise you, Faeryn. We’re okay,” he assured me, leaning down to my level. “Okay? You can argue your point; you’re just standing firm on what you believe in. We all could’ve handled things better, but that doesn’t make what we have just disappear. We’ll talk and figure it out. And,” he added, “you don’t have to listen to everything Jin says. I know that he was concerned for your safety, but at the end of the day, it’s your choice. That’s okay.”

“But I don’t want to upset or concern him,” I tried my best to communicate. “I was just worried that Kenley might have a seizure, and no one would know because she was all alone.”

“I know,” he agreed immediately. “I know, and it was a kind thing for you to want to do. Jin was just worried for your safety because we don’t know Kenley that well, and from what we know, she hasn’t been kind to you in the past. Does that make sense?”

I nodded, struggling to hold back my tears. “I just understand what she’s going through, and I was so nervous that the stress from finally leaving Ryker would trigger a seizure for her, especially when she couldn’t take her medication. I’m so sorry,” I stressed. “I was…I…I was just—”

“It’s okay,” he told me when I couldn’t quite form a sentence. “You’re still upset, so communicating is a little hard right now, but it’s okay. We can talk about this whenever you’re ready.”

“But what about you?” I managed. “If you’re anxious or upset about the situation, I want you to talk about it, so I can help you feel better. If I…Taehyung, please,” I begged. “If I made you upset or anxious, please tell me, and I’ll fix it.”

“I’m okay,” he said quickly, his eyes flitting between mine. “I was just worried, but I’m not anxious or upset. I’m okay, and you don’t have to keep apologizing.” He offered a small smile, trying to make me feel better. “You were trying to protect Kenley, someone who went through what you did with Ryker. Emotions and tensions were high, especially after what Lohee said about you.” He shook his head stiffly. “You were reeling, and we shouldn’t have been so dead set on arguing our point when you were struggling. We should’ve just listened.”

“But me too,” I insisted. “I should’ve just listened to your point. I—I feel so bad.”

He nodded understandingly, keeping my hands in his. “I know. I feel bad about how we all handled things, too, but I don’t feel bad about us. We mean too much to each other for something like this to get between us.”

My features crumpled, and I started to cry in earnest, earning a worried expression from him.

“Faeryn,” he stressed, pained. “Can I please hold you?”

I managed a nod, and he gently lifted me from beneath my armpits, allowing my legs to lock around his waist. Tightening his arms around my lower waist, he bounced me lightly to aid with regulation as he took me to my room. Thankfully, there was an entrance to it from the adjoining bathroom, meaning no one had to see me crying. I felt ridiculous enough as it was.

Sitting on my bed, he brought me onto his lap, letting me wrap myself around him and cry into his neck. Hugging Lyric and Cheverie was nice, but it didn’t compare to the comfort one of my men could provide, and I broke down, sobbing my exhaustion from today while Taehyung held me. I tried to pat and rub his back to comfort him too, and I tried to talk to tell him how sorry I was, but the high emotions coursing through me made it all difficult.

He alternated between rocking me and bouncing his thigh lightly, humming quietly, and evoking my echolalia in an attempt to help me self-regulate. He continued humming, and I mimicked him, eventually a mess of wet cheeks and swollen eyes as quiet sniffles left me slumped in his arms.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew Jin must have told the others how effective his actions had been the day of my big meltdown when Lyric and Cheverie stayed over. Even when we disagreed, my men cared about me just like I care about them, and I knew that, but seeing and feeling it proved to calm the overwhelming anger coursing through me. It allowed me a break, and I was relieved, desperate for it.

Caressing my hair, he gently kissed my cheek. “Does that feel better?”

I nodded, creasing his shirt. “A little.”

“A little is good,” he encouraged, massaging the back of my neck and shoulders. “Do you want to lie down? Let me give you a massage? You’re tense.”

“Yeah,” I managed. “Please, Taehyung, thank you.” I choked up a little. “Thank you.”

“You’re okay, I’ve got you.” He gently arranged me on my stomach, firmly pressing his palms into my shoulder blades as he eased my tension.

“There,” he murmured as I sagged with relief. “That should feel much better.”

I buried my face in the pillow, enjoying the satin covers as his hands worked along my neck, shoulders, and upper back. With a tired whimper, my tears built back up, wetting the pillow.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly, continuing to massage the tension from my body. “Just let it all out.”

So I did, crying quietly into the pillow as his hands aimed to soothe and relax me. The firm kindness they held drove comfort from my exterior to my interior, and although my tears drained me, they worked as an outlet for my overwhelming emotions. It seemed they’d been unsure where to go, so they latched onto anger, making it grow and worsening my state of mind.

When Taehyung found a knot in my neck, he pressed against it deeply, making a quiet moan leave me. It ached painfully until it felt good, and I shivered as he soothed it away. The tension flooding my body eased because of him, and my tears of anger turned into relief.

“Thank you,” I stammered.

“Anything for you,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss my tear-stained cheek. “Does that feel better? Is there anywhere that still feels tense?”

“Back,” I croaked.

“Your back? Okay.” His hands found my waist, keeping me pressed firmly into the bed. “Tell me where it hurts.” He used one hand to find the point of pain while the other kept me stabilized, and when I relayed the area, he pushed his palm at an angle, pressed down, and located the knot.

“There we are,” he said absently, focused on relieving me of pain. “We’ll get this taken care of for you. It’ll be gone in a few minutes.”

My body felt like lead, sinking further into the mattress with every motion of his hands, and still on my stomach, I tried to round my back when he hit a particular spot for better access.

“There?” He pressed his palm down deeper, rolling the knot from a different angle before using his thumbs to massage it. When I noticeably melted, he concurred, “Right there.”

He continued for a few minutes, and when I murmured my satisfaction, his hands shifted from my back to hold my waist, caressing me lightly.

“Better?” he asked softly. “Anywhere else?”

Lost in my relief, I mouthed against the pillow, “Better.”

He breathed deeply, satisfied. “Good.” Lifting himself to my face, he nudged his cheek against mine. “Do you want me to do anything else, or do you want to just lie here?”

“Can…can you stay with me?” I asked, not sure if I deserved it.

“Of course,” he agreed immediately, keeping his voice down for my sake. “Do you want me close, or do you want space?”

“Close, please,” I said, relieved.

He nodded and came to lie beside me, placing his cheek on the pillow beside me, tugging it until our pillows met.

“Hey,” he murmured, watching me wipe my agitated, red nose from the tears.

I sniffled, waving slightly in response before gripping the pillow for comfort. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Faeryn,” he said quietly, his brows tugging together. “It will be okay, and until it is, I’m right here. We all are. And we’ll be here after that too. You and us forever, just like we’ve talked about.”

“Forever,” I whispered. “Even if we get mad at each other sometimes.”

“Even if,” he confirmed.

“I don’t like being mad at you,” I revealed tearfully. “I hate it. I wanted to talk to you and hug you and just be with you, but I was so angry that I could barely breathe.”

“Anger isn’t fun to feel,” he empathized. “Does it feel any better right now, or does it feel as intense?”

Unsure, I chewed my bottom lip. “You made me feel a little better, and I…I’m so happy that I can be with you, but I…I don’t know how my anger feels.”

“That’s okay.” He gently rearranged the strands of hair sticking to my cheeks, tucking them out of my face. “Sleep could help. Does sleep sound like a good idea?”

I rubbed my eyes tiredly, managing a nod.

He rubbed my arm slowly. “Do you remember when I first brought you to our house after your night on the street?”

I blinked, surprised at the topic change, but nodded.

“The guys were worried,” he continued. “Mostly about Jungkook’s mental well-being. Everything was still so…fresh. He was barely healed, and they were worried you would say or do something that would trigger him right back into a spiral. That, on top of having a stranger in our home, was a little disconcerting for them, but I knew you, and they know me, so they agreed because they respect and trust me. That doesn’t mean they liked it at first, but then they got to know you, and look at us now.”

He paused. “Not that we’ll ever be like that with Kenley, but I think you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

I nodded as his words resonated with me. “I know, and…I remember how hesitant they were.”

“You’re kind of in the same position I was back then, but I think it was easier for them to agree because I’d already been talking about you as my friend, and some of them had seen you at HYBE, so you weren’t as much of a stranger as Kenley is. And…I don’t mean this to upset you, but you didn’t badmouth me or anyone. It was easier to trust someone who they knew worked at HYBE and was friends with me, even though we hadn’t been friends for too long, and it was originally only for a week.”

“Until my night on the street,” I whispered.

“Until then,” he repeated, pained from the memory. “But it turned out better than any of us imagined it would. Now it’s us forever.”

I teared up, exhausted. “I’m happy you all let me stay with you for that week, the three months after that, and…” I swallowed. “Did you…talk to Hoseok about me recently?”

“Oh, uh…” He blinked as he thought, and momentarily, he smiled a bit. “We talk about you often, so I’m not sure if you’re asking about a specific time. Are you?”

I blushed a bit. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he encouraged. “Which time? Talking about you isn’t a secret; I can tell you what you want to know if that will make you feel better.” He frowned. “Does it make you uncomfortable when we talk about you when you’re not there?”

“No, no,” I refuted. “It makes me happy that you talk about me when I’m not there because I…I do the same.” My blush grew. “I like talking about you, and…I talked about you guys today with Lyric and Cheverie for advice, but usually, I…ramble about how much you all mean to me or something we’ve done recently that was a lot of fun.”

His frown quickly turned into a bright smile. “Us too.” He sighed contentedly, kissing my cheek. “Us too.” He paused. “But what did you want to ask me about my conversation with Hoseok about you?”

My eyes flickered away. “I…I talked to him about something, and I don’t know if he talked to you or the others about it.”

“Ohhh.” He nodded. “Did you not want him to talk to me about it?”

“No, that’s okay, I…I would tell him or any of you to keep a certain conversation private if I wanted you to, I was just…wondering.”

“Oh, okay, good.” His thumb caressed my cheek in slow, gentle strokes. “Do you want to tell me what you talked about?” I hesitated. “Maybe vaguely? You could ask him, too. Maybe not now if you’re too tired and not ready to talk to him yet, but then…I could try and see if we talked about it if you explain it a little without giving too much away.”

“Okay, I will.” I inched closer to him, nuzzling deeper into the pillow. Taking a deep breath as I thought about how to word my question, I faltered and asked, “Did you talk about my living…arrangements?”

“Oh! Uh…let me think.” He pursed his lips, continuing to caress my cheek. “We talked about how nice it was that you had your mom’s loveseat and your grandfather’s chair, plus a few butterflies and the picture of your father. And…we also talked about how nice it was to see your childhood home, which is maybe talking about your living arrangements? Even though they’re not your living arrangements anymore?”

Puzzled, he exhaled. “I’m not sure if that’s what you meant.”

“Is that…all?” I tried tentatively. “You haven’t talked about my…apartment?”

“Well, we talked about the situation a little after you left with Lyric, but not too much because we didn’t want Kenley to overhear us.”

Treading carefully, I wondered, “What did you talk about?”

“Well, we were frustrated and basically talking about our thought processes and how Kenley and her parents spoke about you. That’s why we didn’t talk about it for long—because we didn’t want Kenley to feel uncomfortable and because it was making us upset. We tried to find distractions instead, like card games and eventually a movie.”

“Yeah, distractions are good,” I agreed while struggling to find a non-revealing way to ask. “Did…well, did you talk about how Kenley would live in my apartment?”

“Do you mean…with you?” he asked, confused. “I thought that was the plan. Unless you changed your mind, of course. It’s your decision, but we didn’t talk about that because we tried not to talk about it at all.”

I blinked.

Hoseok hadn’t told them.

He might have been too upset to communicate it, and with how they cut the topic short, he might not have gotten the chance to. Maybe he thought I had changed my mind or misunderstood and thought that I had changed my mind to live with Kenley. After all, I’d been so insistent on staying with her in her room, even if one of them didn’t stay with us despite what Jin said. That, on top of refusing to go home when Jin offered and insisting that I stay with Kenley, might have confused him, and he might not have wanted to communicate about something I told him if he wasn’t positive.

Frazzled and feeling guilty, all I could do was nod.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, concerned. “Was there something you two talked about that you wanted us to know?”

“I…” My throat felt dry. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I want to talk about it when I don’t feel as angry, so I can communicate better.”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded his understanding. “That’s a good idea.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “I hate being angry. It’s the worst emotion.”

“It can protect us,” he countered gently. “Anger doesn’t have to feel awful; it can fuel us to protect ourselves and others, and that’s not a bad thing.” Thoughtfully, he added, “If we don’t feel it for so long and are used to pushing it away, I think it will feel more intense than it actually is, like it’s…almost like it’s making up for lost time.”

“Yeah, it’s…yeah,” I agreed quickly. “That’s how it feels, almost like it’s taking over me, like it’s scared I won’t feel it ever again.”

His lips turned downward. “I’m sorry it feels like that.” He cupped my cheek. “That’s awful.”

“I hope it’s better tomorrow,” I admitted. “I don’t want to feel like this when I wake up. I want to talk to the others and fix things, talk to Kenley, and make the lease. I’m…” My nose scrunched. “I’m not very good at communicating when I’m angry.”

“That’s normal,” he told me. “Right? You’ve practiced so hard to communicate when you’re triggered, sad, and anxious, but you haven’t practiced it when you’re angry. Even though communicating can still be hard during the other things I named, it used to be harder, but now it’s not because you practiced.” His next smile was reassuring, full of understanding. “If you practice communicating when you’re angry, you’ll get better at it, too. It’s completely normal, and I’m sure your therapist could help with that too.”

Relieved at how well he worded things, understanding eased me closer to sleep. “Thank you,” I stammered.

Moving closer, I hesitated, peeking up at him questioningly.

“What?” he murmured.

I looked at his chest, then back up at him.

His eyes softened. “Do you want me to hold you?”

I hesitated. “Is that…okay? I mean, after today,” I added quietly.

“Of course it is,” he insisted with furrowed brows. “I’ll always hold you, angry or not, because I feel more love for you than I feel anger. Okay? You’re my girlfriend, and nothing and no feeling will ever stop me from holding you.”

He opened his arms, and with a choked sob of relief, I scrambled forward and buried my face in his chest, melting when he squeezed me to him.

“I’ve got you,” he said quietly, rubbing my back. “I won’t let you go unless you want me to.”

I shook my head, inhaling his comforting presence. “Please stay?”

“I’m staying,” he confirmed, nudging his chin against my head. “I’m right here.”

“Taehyung,” I whispered, overwhelmed by his continual, filial love. “I love you so much, and I’m…I’m so sorry we were angry today.” I offered his chest a consolation kiss. “Maybe we won’t be as angry tomorrow, but I hope we can still hug even if we are.”

“Of course,” he attested. “We can just be quiet if we’re angry and hold each other. Does that sound like a plan?”

“The best plan,” I breathed out, relieved. “I…I didn’t know we could still hug and be together when we were angry. I’ve never done this before.”

“I know,” he murmured. “It’s okay. It’s a learning experience for everyone, but I promise that we’ll be okay.”

“I love you,” I said tearfully.

“I love you, too,” he said assiduously.

With his comforting promise that we would be okay in the forefront of my mind, my anger seemed to yawn as it dimmed in my gut, and I fell asleep as he rubbed comfort into my back.

Notes:

This is really one of the first times that Faeryn is feeling such intense anger. She's pushed it aside for so long, and now she's struggling to cope with it, but I hope you have as much hope in her that I do 😸<33

Have a good weekend, everyone!! 😽

Chapter 58: Returning to Ourselves

Summary:

Faeryn and her men return to themselves. Meanwhile, Kenley struggles to understand them, their dynamics, and how they speak.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

I woke up with a dull headache, immediately soothed with Taehyung’s forehead kisses, headache meds, and a light breakfast in bed to soothe my upset stomach caused by yesterday’s turmoil.

My headache was gone halfway into my breakfast, and I wiped my eyes sleepily as I smiled at Taehyung in the same manner. He returned my smile, brightening at the sight of mine.

“Better,” I responded to his question. I tried to look into the adjoining rooms, but the doors weren’t fully open. “Thank you for helping my headache go away. Is…everyone awake? Did you see them in the kitchen area?”

“Everyone’s awake,” he confirmed. “Kenley, too. She took her meds, Jungkook said, and she already had breakfast. She was up before everyone, she said.”

“Oh, you saw her?”

“Yeah, she asked if you were okay when I was getting your breakfast.”

“Oh, okay.” I ate more food. “I’m glad she’s okay. Did you tell her I was okay? I don’t want her to worry if…she worries about things like that.”

“I told her you had a headache, but she didn’t look worried.”

I nodded. “That’s good. Does worry trigger seizures? I don’t want her to worry.”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Hoseok knows more about them than I do, but if anxiety can trigger seizures, I think worry could too, but don’t worry, okay? She wasn’t worried, and I’m pretty sure it would have to be a big level of worry to trigger a seizure.”

Relieved, I agreed, “Yeah, and a headache’s not a big deal. It’s gone now.” I kissed his cheek. “Because of you.”

He smiled again, my words earning a sense of happy pride. “Good.”

I chewed slowly. “Is…everyone else okay? Do they still seem upset?”

“I didn’t get a chance to talk to everyone,” he responded, scratching the back of his head. “But everyone was lounging around. They seem fine.”

“And no work today,” I said suddenly. “It’s Saturday.” I sighed. “I’m glad it’s the weekend.”

“Me too,” he agreed. “It gives us all time to relax.”

“And for me to fix things.” I pushed my food around. “And…hopefully learn more about Kenley?”

“Definitely,” he encouraged.

I took a deep breath. “I think I want to shower, and then after that, I’ll…go see everyone.”

“Okay, sure!” He stood, ready to take my plate, but I grabbed his hand, stopping him.

When he looked at me questioningly, I asked, “Do you…want to shower with me?”

His lips parted. “Of course.”

I blushed. “Okay. I just…I still feel angry, just not as much, and when I’m with you, it helps me not feel as angry. I hope that makes sense.”

He looked touched. “It does make sense, and I’m glad I could help you not feel as angry.” He held his hand out to me. “Shower?”

I placed my hand in his, starting to smile. “Shower.”

Our shower was warm and cozy, and although it wasn’t very productive at first with my arms twined around his neck and my cheek on his warm chest, I reacted like it was. We hadn’t bothered to do so much as uncap the body wash, but we held each other beneath the water, and it was just what I needed.

When we got around to washing up, I squeezed the bodywash in a certain way to cause bubbles like I so often did with Jungkook, and Taehyung gingerly took some and decorated my shoulders with them until the water washed them away.

Enjoying myself and lost to my bubble creation, my body buzzed contentedly until it calmed, and I stood with my back against Taehyung’s chest as he let the water rinse the shampoo from his hair.

“Taehyung?” I asked between my hums.

He eased the washcloth along the back of my shoulders. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

I felt his smile as he kissed the top of my shoulder. “I love you, too.”

Leaning my head against his chest, I gave him access to my neck, and as he cleaned, he kissed the area afterward, washing me with love and water.

“Don’t you taste the soap?” I asked with a giggle.

He looked beyond happy to hear my giggles. “I don’t mind.”

I sighed, a content, pleased sound. “I feel nice.” Turning, I smiled up at him. “With you.”

His hands rested on my hips, and he returned my smile easily. “I feel nice with you, too. What are we?”

“Best crochet buddies,” I responded immediately, enjoying how it made his smile grow. “Best friends, and girlfriend and boyfriend.” I lit up. “Can I help wash you up next?”

He smiled his usual genuine smile and agreed, both of us enjoying taking turns washing each other up.

I kissed him as the water turned cold, but he made me feel warm nonetheless. With a squeal, I giggled as the water began to chill, and laughing, Taehyung turned the shower off, grabbed towels for us, and helped me out to dry off.

I missed Jin while I grabbed an extra towel for my hair, remembering how I’d made him smile when I pretended to be a towel fashionista.

“Taehyung,” I whispered while we dressed back in my room.

He looked at me, checking my expression for the reasoning behind my sudden tone change. “What’s wrong?”

With only one arm through my shirt and my jeans unbuttoned, I shuffled over to him and rested my forehead on his chest. While he rubbed my back reassuringly, I sniffled and revealed, “I miss everyone.”

“They miss you, too,” he told me softly. “Do you want to go see them? We don’t have to talk about yesterday. We can just be together.”

I hesitated. “But what if I say something mean because I still feel angry? I’m not as angry as yesterday, sleeping helped a little, but it’s still…there. I can feel it in my stomach.”

“If you feel like you want to take a break because of that, you can. You can take it at the pace that feels good for you, okay? Leave at any time; I’ll explain if you can’t.”

I threw my arms around his waist gratefully. “Thank you.”

He kissed my damp head of hair. “Anything for you.”

“Soap and all?”

He grinned. “Soap and all.” Lowering his hands, he buttoned my pants with ease while I continued hugging him, coaxing my arm through my shirt sleeve. “Now you’re ready to go see the others whenever you want. Wait.”

With my feet on his, he walked us to his backpack near the bed and pulled out a pair of socks. Wiggling his brows, he said, “Now you’ll be ready.”

I beamed and jumped up to grab them from him, clambering onto the bed to pull them on.

“Okay,” I decided carefully, sobering up once the socks were on. “I’m ready.”

I accepted his hand, basking in the comfort it provided.

“You can come back in here if you need to,” he reiterated. “Okay? Don’t feel bad; just do what you need to do.”

I nodded gratefully. “Okay, I will.” I pressed closely to his side. “Thank you for everything, and I really liked showering with you this morning.”

“I really liked it, too,” he responded genuinely. “I like everything we do together.”

My deep breath transformed into a smile. “Me too.” Clutching his hand, I braved a step forward. “Ready.”

Nodding, he let me lead him, matching my steps no matter how slow they were. At the door, I practiced breathing for a passing beat before opening it and stepping out.

The conversation between Jimin and Hoseok faltered when I appeared with Taehyung, but the notion they were upset with me dissipated when their features softened into small smiles. Before I could manage one back, Jungkook’s laughter caught my attention. Turning, I found him in the living room between Namjoon’s thighs. The latter was seated on the couch while the younger sat on the floor, talking to Kenley.

Surprised, I watched on, feeling my smile come to light when I saw how animatedly Jungkook spoke. I quickly realized he was talking about chandeliers and which of his favorite stores had them, and Kenley nodded along as she doodled mindlessly in one of Jungkook’s sketchbooks he always brought to HYBE.

Jin sat beside Namjoon, and although I held both of their attentions, I quickly looked away uncertainly.

When my eyes flickered back to Hoseok and Jimin, Yoongi exited his room, looking relieved when he saw me. He noted my wide eyes and wavering eye contact and understood the predicament, and for my sake, he signed in place of speaking, “Good morning.”

Relieved, I signed, “Good morning.”

Hoseok and Jimin followed our lead, signing a morning greeting with us. I returned it, and we all wore small smiles, gracing the situation slowly yet surely.

Certain Namjoon and Jin had seen the interaction and picked up the non-verbal cue to ease into each other once more with sign language only, I slowly looked at them again. They’d noted the interaction and signed their morning greeting, and I exhaled sharply with relief, doing the same.

Amid his special interest ramble, Jungkook saw me from his peripheral vision and did a double-take. His features lit up tremendously, and his conversation halted immediately so he could greet me, waving as he did.

Kenley turned to look at me, and I dutifully trained my eyes on her forehead before eye contact could be made. I felt her examining me, and once she finished her assessment, she stated, “You had a headache.”

I held Taehyung’s hand tighter and nodded.

“It’s gone now,” he told her.

She cocked her head. “She can’t speak?”

I winced, forcing the words out of me, “I can. I’m fine. How…” I cleared my throat, avoiding eye contact with everyone now. “How are you?”

She nodded slowly. “Fine.”

“Your medication helped your throat?”

She tugged her throat absently in remembrance. “Yes. My thyroid isn’t as inflamed.”

“That’s good,” I offered.

“Yes.”

We were quiet.

Jungkook looked between us, and his pretty doe eyes flickered with thought until he sat up straighter and allowed the safety he felt between Namjoon’s thighs push him to say, “I was telling Kenley about chandeliers. Do you want to sit with me?” He patted the area between his thighs, pushing his legs out invitingly and patting the area. “Right here.”

“Oh, I…” I took a step back. “I’m…”

It was too close to Namjoon and Jin, too soon, and we hadn’t resolved anything. Anxious, I remained near Taehyung and returned to my unsure silence.

Jungkook’s forehead creased, and he signed near his lap where Namjoon and Jin couldn’t see, “Overwhelmed?”

I nodded and signed my apologies against my chest, singing ‘I love you’ right after.

“No, no, it’s okay,” he responded with big eyes. “You can stay with Taehyung; I’ll just keep talking about chandeliers. I love you, too,” he told me with a vigorous nod.

I signed my thanks, relieved he was still excited enough to launch back into his special interest, and eventually, Kenley looked away from me to him, making me relax when her intense study of me ended.

Taehyung dipped his mouth to my ear. “Do you want tea? Jimin made a pot.”

I perked up, and when I confirmed, Taehyung led me into the kitchen where Jimin and Hoseok were.

Pulling myself to sit at the island area where they stood, I gnawed on my lip while Taehyung poured me a cup of tea.

“Not as good as Jimin’s,” he told me sheepishly after stirring in the sugar and lemon. Handing it to me, he concluded, “But I hope it’s still good.”

I kissed his cheek before taking a sip, and I showed a thumbs-up and my signed thanks.

He smiled and sat beside me. “Of course.” Glancing at Jimin and Hoseok, he looked back at me, still wearing his smile. “Are you still hungry? Room service brought pastries.”

Sugar sounded nice, and so I wouldn’t attract attention from Namjoon and Jin, I signed, “What pastries?”

“Do you want me to bring them from the living room?”

I confirmed, and he showed me each option after bringing them over. I decided on one with strawberry filling, focusing on it intently so I wouldn’t have to look at anyone.

“How did you sleep, Taehyung?” Hoseok asked lightly.

I peeked up at him, ready to look away if he caught my eye, but his attention was on Taehyung as he awaited an answer.

Taehyung swallowed his bite of pastry. “I had some weird dreams, but they were kind of cool, and I feel rested.”

“Showered?”

“Yeah, the water pressure’s nice, and the sample soap and everything smelled nice.”

“It is true,” Yoongi said, making my eyes flit to his. “They do smell nice. I used them last night.”

“See?” Taehyung jutted his thumb towards Yoongi. “Smells nice.”

“Yes,” Yoongi confirmed slowly. “It…smells very similar to you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok chuckled. “Does it?”

“Yes,” Yoongi agreed, although he sounded confused. “I am not sure what it smells like, just that it smells like you. Almost similar to…”

“Vanilla,” I said quietly, but they heard me.

“Ah,” Hoseok responded simply, keeping the conversation moving. “My fabric softener is to thank for that.” He chuckled again, the sound as comforting as it was reassuring. “I used the travel shampoo and soap I have, but I’ll try out the hotel’s packets tonight.”

“Good,” Taehyung chirped. “You’ll feel right at home.”

Amused, Hoseok said, “Good to know.”

Jimin chose a pastry, and I caught his eye as he ate, swiping his thumb over his bottom lip almost lazily. I looked at his lips for a moment before returning my gaze to my half-eaten pastry.

I missed my usual morning kisses and hugs, and I sorely wanted a morning like yesterday, but I felt like my anger was holding me back, now mixing with nerves.

Depleted, I pushed my finger into the pastry and squeezed the filling out for a distraction.

They continued talking as if I weren’t there, and although I was glad the attention wasn’t on me or yesterday’s occurrences, I felt left out, and my nose stung. Trying to ignore it—especially since I knew this predicament was my fault—I lifted the pastry and licked along the sides, sucking and nibbling quietly.

Jimin’s chuckle broke me out of my thoughts. “Is that good?”

Startled, I looked at him before I could think against it, realizing he was addressing me. With pink cheeks, I slowly returned my tongue to my mouth and away from the pastry before thinking against it. Darting my tongue back out, I claimed the sugary taste once more before setting it down and staring avidly at it.

I nodded.

“Don’t let me stop you,” he responded, and his usual tone laced with amusement made me wish everything was back to normal again, but I wasn’t sure how to get there.

I wasn’t hungry anymore, and wiping my stinging nose, I slowly brought the rim of my shirt to my mouth and nibbled without much thought.

“Faeryn.”

I jumped in my seat, turning with wide eyes to see Kenley.

She stared at me. “What…are you doing…”

Confused for a moment, I didn’t understand until I tried to speak, causing my shirt’s neckline to fall. Turning a bright red, I spoke incoherently before managing, “Nothing.”

“Um, you were eating your shirt. You have a pastry right in front of you if you’re hungry.”

“That’s—I—no, I…” Flustered, I nodded instead. “I know.”

“Is this…an Autism thing?”

Embarrassed, I confirmed, “Yeah.”

“What part?”

“The…stimulation.” Trying to divert the attention away from me, I asked, “You never do anything like this?”

She shook her head, confused.

“That’s not true,” Jungkook piped up from the living room. “You bite your nails.”

Kenley frowned. “That is not the same thing.”

“Technically, it is,” he explained, happy to do. “It’s self-stimming.”

“What is that?”

“It’s self-stimulation, so it’s doing something that stimulates you. It helps you cope with stress, anxiety, or sensory overload.”

She jolted. “Oh.” Pulling up a chair on the other side of me where Yoongi stood, she sat with a thump. “I came to ask you if we can speak about the lease now, but I think that you’re busy eating your shirt.”

“I’m not eating it,” I defended, high-pitched.

“Okay. Do you want to talk about the lease now?” she asked.

I swallowed again, finding it in myself to nod.

She tracked my hard swallow and moved forward, making me move back out of surprise.

“Stay still,” she instructed. I stared at her with wide eyes, motionless as she tugged my shirt up and put it in my mouth. “Chew.”

I listened instinctively, burning a bright red.

Nodding curtly, she sat back. “There. This will help your anxiety; self-stimming. Since you’re self-stimming, I can talk first.”

Taehyung shifted forward to catch sight of my face. “She hasn’t said yes yet, Kenley.”

“Well…that’s because she’s chewing.” She mulled this over. “Faeryn, what’s the sign for yes?”

I signed it.

“Okay,” she decided. “Sign yes if you want to talk.”

Knowing that was one of the reasons I left my room, I signed, “Yes.”

She looked at Taehyung. “She said yes.”

“Well,” Taehyung countered, “Let’s go slow. It’s still pretty early, and we have all weekend to talk about it.”

“But she said yes,” she told him, confused. “You saw her.”

“We don’t like having conversations when she’s overwhelmed and isn’t fully verbal,” Hoseok explained. He sounded kind, but his tone held no room for question, a stark contrast.

Kenley differentiated his tone and sat back. “Well, okay. We’ll talk slowly since she said yes. Faeryn, is…that okay?”

I signed yes again.

“Okay, see?” she told them. “She said yes again.” Without waiting for their response, she began the conversation. “I can move in whenever, and today, I’ll go to the library and type out the eviction notice for Ryker, that way I can get my things by Tuesday. We can write the lease today, and you can decide how much I’ll pay, but I’m not expecting to live there for a while, so I would like a month-to-month lease. I figured that would make your men less nervous because it is less set in stone than a yearly lease.”

She waited expectantly for my response.

I nodded.

“Good,” she said curtly. “Then we agree.”

“Do you agree, Faeryn?” Taehyung asked me.

I nodded again.

He hesitated and looked at the others. “Kenley, how about we wait until she’s verbal?”

“But she said yes,” Kenley responded, bewildered. “I don’t understand.”

“She can say yes,” Hoseok elaborated patiently. “But her body can say otherwise.”

“Her body?” She looked at him weirdly. “What does that mean?”

He breathed deeply. “Have you ever been pressured into saying yes?”

She bristled. “I’m not pressuring her into saying yes.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Oh.” Her stare turned weary as she struggled to read his expression. “I…don’t understand.”

“That’s fine. I’ll explain.” He sat, and she relaxed slightly. She must have found his taller stature intimidating, and I realized he must have recognized that, sitting to negate it. “Sometimes people can be pressured into something they don’t want to do, so they can finish it as if it’s a task or to make someone else happy. Have you ever said yes for those reasons?”

“Well. Yes. I have. You’re saying Faeryn is saying yes because of that?”

“I can’t speak for her, but she also doesn’t seem to be able to speak at all right now. That’s why I don’t believe having such a serious conversation is a good idea right now, even if she can sign.”

“But…she said yes,” she said cautiously, still confused. “She can still communicate with sign language, so she can tell me if she doesn’t want to talk, right?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “But there are reasons she can experience a verbal shutdown, including being overwhelmed. Would you want to have a conversation if you pushed into such an overwhelmed state?”

“Yes,” she said immediately. “To get it over with.”

He looked at her until she understood.

“Oh,” she said. “I understand. She wants to get it over with, she doesn’t actually want to have the conversation.”

“I think that might be the case.” He looked at me for a quick observation, looking away before the eye contact made me do the same. “But she’s not saying or signing otherwise, so we’re not sure, and we’re not comfortable with that. Have you ever had a productive conversation when you wanted to breeze through it to get it over with?”

“No,” she decided after some thought. “They are rushed.” She nodded as it clicked for her. “Okay. Thank you for explaining; I was confused, and I don’t want to push her to talk if she’s not ready to. But how do we know that she’s ready to talk if she’s not talking? It feels infantilizing to speak about her when she is right here, and I don’t like that.”

My hands and lips felt like lead, keeping me from responding in any way, and I tried to take deep breaths.

“It’s not infantilizing,” Hoseok responded calmly. “A lack of speech from her part isn’t, and us speaking for her when she can’t isn’t. We’re accommodating her, and she’s accommodating herself by breathing and staying calm.”

“Faeryn.” She turned to me. “You can’t communicate?”

I simply looked at her, unable to do much else.

She blinked. “That must be…scary.” Her brows furrowed as she gestured to me, demanding them, “Fix it.”

“Fix it?” Jimin’s voice sounded cold. “There is nothing wrong with her to fix.”

“Um, yes, there is something wrong,” she countered, annoyed. “She must be scared, and you’re not helping her.” Standing, she approached me cautiously. “Faeryn, chew your shirt again. You stopped. It will help you…stimulate. I think.”

I chewed since I couldn’t do much else, defeated. My morning wasn’t going as planned, and to put it simply, I felt like I failed, despising the full attention I held. Overwhelmed, my chest heaved. During verbal shutdowns, I always went to my men now, or if they weren’t around, I would count down the time to see them for comfort. They were around me now, but I wasn’t sure when we would be okay again, and my heart whirred with turmoil, making everything feel worse.

Anger, fear, anxiety—it all mixed and kept my tongue and hands motionless.

I just wanted my men, but they were right here. Why did they seem so far away?

Tears built in my eyes, and a tired whimper left me.

Kenley crossed her arms uncertainly. “She is going to cry.”

“Faeryn.” Jin’s voice made me jolt, and my building tears blurred my vision. Again, an inch softer, he repeated my name. This time, he added, “Come here.”

I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t work with me. And his voice was causing more anxiety than comfort because I hadn’t figured out a way to communicate about yesterday with him.

“Forget about yesterday,” he told me. “And come here.”

I couldn’t.

I heard him stand, and I tensed, squeezing my eyes shut and causing tears to fall. I wanted comfort more than anything in that moment, and with each step he took to reach me, I awaited his familiar touch until I felt it.

His mouth dipped near my ear, and his breath warmed my cheek. “I’m going to take you to the living area, and I’m going to sit you on my lap chest-to-chest. You’re going to breathe, and the pressure is going to help. Am I understood?”

The usual command in his tone made me need him even more. It felt grounding, like something I could hold onto, and with every last bit of movement I had, I managed a nod. It was a minimal movement, barely anything at all, but he saw it and took action.

Lifting me, he gathered my current jelly-like body into his arms and carried me to the living room with ease. Sitting on the couch, he situated me chest-to-chest on his lap, wrapped his arms around me, and applied a dizzying amount of pressure.

I was tense, but as soon as the pressure seeped into me, I shuddered and sagged against him.

“It’s working,” I heard Kenley say from the kitchen. “You’re fixing it.” She made a small sound. “I see.”

Jin nudged his head against the side of mine, resting it there and kissing in time with his rising chest, slow and steady.

When Namjoon’s hand rubbed my back, I twitched and tensed, and he began to remove his hand, but I whimpered quietly. Gauging my reaction, he returned his hand to my back for a moment, giving me time before removing it and earning my whimper again.

Understanding, he let his hand remain and rubbed my lower back where Jin’s arms weren’t wrapped.

Closing my eyes with my face safely tucked in Jin’s neck, I couldn’t mimic the hums he did at first, but as the minutes passed, my chest vibrated as echolalia finally fought its way to the front. Regulation was slow, but it came with time, and I listened to the quiet conversation in the kitchen as my men answered Kenley’s questions about the situation.

I wasn’t tired enough to sleep, but the anxiety surrounding what I had set out to do this morning made me drowsy, and I remained limp in Jin’s arms, enjoying the comfort and warmth I denied myself yesterday.

“Um,” Kenley said after a while. “I’m bored and uncomfortable, so I’m going to the library. Will you open the door when I come back?”

“Yes, we’ll open the door,” Hoseok confirmed. “When will you be back so we have an idea?”

“After I’m done.”

Jimin sighed. “What’s your phone number?”

After they exchanged numbers, she agreed to text when she was done since she refused to provide an estimated time, saying, “I don’t know when I’ll be done, so I can’t estimate it.”

My men didn’t push it, and once she left, Jimin sighed again but left it at that, keeping his annoyance to himself.

“Faeryn,” Jungkook said quietly, sounding like he was still nearby between Namjoon’s thighs. “Hyungs aren’t mad. Me neither. No one’s mad.”

I sniffled and signed, “I’m sorry.”

Jin’s arms tightened around me if possible. “No one is angry with you, and your decisions are fully respected by us. Focus on breathing; we’re not leaving, and we never will. I know you’re aware of that, but let it sink in. Right here.” He kissed my temple. “With us.”

I tried to let it, and it was easier to do so after receiving the confirmation that they weren’t angry with me.

After a few more sniffles, I managed to lift my face with great difficulty, and Jin loosened his hold slightly once he realized I was trying to move. With my face level to his, my breath hitched, and I kissed him shakily. Pulling back, my lip wobbled as I awaited his response. He held the back of my neck and coaxed me closer, making me sag with relief when he returned my kiss.

Our kiss was quick, but it happened. We could still kiss.

Breathing tremulously, I tried to remain sitting upright, but my limbs wouldn’t listen, so I fell right back into his neck.

He reapplied pressure protectively, kissing my head multiple times until my chest stopped stammering against his.

“That’s it.” His low praise made me melt. “Relax for me.”

Eventually, I did, relaxing enough that my tears didn’t threaten to fall, and feeling returned to my body.

I resituated somewhere along the line, sideways on Jin’s lap with my face half-hidden in his shirt as I watched the TV on mute. Namjoon had turned Camp Cretaceous on a little while ago, and thanks to Yoongi retrieving it, I chewed my chewing necklace and watched my favorite show to regulate.

With my men gathered around in the living area watching TV with me while chatting amongst themselves or simply watching the show, I felt better. I was with them again; we were okay. The realization made everything better, and once it fully sank in, I pushed myself up with two hands on Jin’s chest and wiped my eyes.

Clearing my throat, everyone’s attention snapped to me.

Swallowing any remaining tension, I flicked my fingers in preparation before signing, “I’m sorry. Was so angry. Then so sad. Then so guilty. Miss you so much.”

“We missed you,” Yoongi said quietly but firmly.

I braved the question via sign, “Angry with me? Yesterday?”

“We were never angry with you,” Jimin took the liberty to respond. “Frustrated, yes, but angry?” He sighed softly. “No.”

Knowing they wouldn’t lie to me, I sighed with relief.

Jin caressed my hair. “You harbored the thought process that we were angry yesterday and this morning.”

I nodded. “Nervous,” I signed. “Wanted to talk, but nervous. And angry, even if I felt guilty and sad.”

“You shouldn’t feel nervous to speak with us,” he returned, subdued. “We apologize for making you feel otherwise, and in the future, we’ll de-escalate conversations before it gets to the point of you feeling like you need to leave.”

Namjoon added seriously, “We never want you to feel like we aren’t hearing you. Even if we don’t fully understand your viewpoint, we want you to feel heard, and we’re sorry that we made you feel unheard. Like Jin said, we’ll de-escalate until we’re in the right headspace to listen. We weren’t in the right headspace to listen; we were wrapped up in how angry we were toward the situation, but we’ll deal with our reactions better in the future, we promise.”

Agreement filled the room as relief filled me.

“Thank you,” I signed. “Sorry for not listening, too. You made good points. I…still don’t fully agree. I’m really sorry.”

“And that’s okay,” Namjoon confirmed. “We don’t always have to fully agree, but we will still fully be there for you.”

I breathed easier. “Me too,” I signed rapidly. “I will always be there for all of you, and I’m so sorry about yesterday.”

Trying to speak, I cleared my throat to begin the process, but everything sounded jumbled. Blushing, I signed, “Not ready yet.”

“Take your time,” Yoongi responded first. “Your words will arrive when they’re ready.”

“Thank you,” I signed gratefully. “Want to talk, but not ready.”

“You’ll be ready when you’re ready,” Jungkook said, determination creasing his forehead and hope filling his eyes. “That’s what we have signing for.”

I pushed out a thumbs-up and the best smile I could currently muster, even if it wasn’t a very good one. They reacted like it was, and their relief was tangible, laced in each of their smiles.

Changing the topic for a moment, I signed, “Kenley was confused earlier. About this.”

“I’m surprised,” Jimin admitted, “about how little she knows of Autism, something she’s diagnosed with.”

“She said it doesn’t define her,” Hoseok commented idly. “It could be a word on a paper for her, nothing more, nothing less.”

“I wonder if that’s true.” Jungkook’s arms were looped around one of Namjoon’s legs, his cheek resting against it. “She probably has accommodations for herself without realizing that’s what they are, like biting her nails.”

“She must not know much about herself,” Taehyung added with a frown. “Which could be dangerous.”

Jungkook blinked. “Dangerous?”

“The spectrum’s a spectrum, but I wonder if she struggles with things like delayed processing. If not, she could get into bad situations and not try to accommodate herself with ways that will help her process better or talk to someone else for insight on a situation, because she knows she has delayed processing because of Autism.”

“Oh.” Jungkook nestled closer to Namjoon. “That’s awful if she doesn’t know.”

“If she’s never studied up on something she’s diagnosed with, it’s possible.”

“Parents?” I signed. “Maybe they made it not seem like a big deal.”

“Most likely.” Namjoon caressed his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. “Which is upsetting, but she’s at a point where she can learn more about herself if she wants to. She was…responsive, listening to Hoseok explain about verbal shutdowns. From how she spoke, she didn’t want to force Faeryn into talking. She was confused, but once Hoseok explained, she completely disregarded the talk and focused on how to help Faeryn feel better.”

I nodded, relieved he’d noted that.

“Do you think she’s never had one?” Jungkook wondered. “Or she has, and she just doesn’t know?”

“I think she would know,” Taehyung considered.

I signed, “Not everyone on the spectrum has verbal shutdowns.”

I shifted on Jin’s lap, and he helped with the process to keep me from tiring myself out, pressing his hand gently down on the side of my face and easing it to his chest. Settling immediately, I sighed and curled up.

After a few deep breaths, I signed, “Kenley’s plan; good, maybe?”

“It depends on what you decide,” Namjoon responded.

“Want your thoughts,” I signed.

He took a moment. “I think a monthly lease is a good idea.”

“Me too,” I signed.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Jin confirmed decisively. “She is already typing the eviction notice at the library, and Hoseok has his laptop in his bag, so we will write up the lease and show it to her when she returns or in whichever order happens first.”

“Help me?” I signed. “If you want to?”

He squeezed my waist, making me melt further against him. “Do you want me to write it or offer you ideas?”

“Write,” I signed. “Can I offer you ideas and change what I don’t…”

“What you don’t—?” he prompted. When I didn’t respond, he kissed my cheek, murmuring close to my ear, “Talk to me. Whatever you have to say, it’s important to me.”

Put at ease, I concluded signing, “What I don’t like.”

“All right,” he agreed. “You’ll change whatever you don’t like or agree with. Is that our plan?”

“Yes,” I signed, relieved for the successful communication. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to write it with you on my lap, or do you want to do it later?”

“Now, please?” I signed after mulling it over. “While watching favorite show?”

Hoseok stood, and I glanced at him due to the sudden movement. Suddenly struck with a sense of need, I waved my hand quickly to get his attention. I claimed it quickly, and he nodded to show he was listening.

Trying to keep things between us, I signed, “Conversation we had about home. They know?”

He understood immediately. “No, they don’t know. Things became hectic, and when I planned to ask your permission, yesterday happened.”

“Permission?” Jungkook echoed, quieting when Namjoon murmured, “Hold on, bub.”

Hesitating, my fingers strummed against each other until I signed, “I think you think I changed my mind.”

His eyes flickered across my face, and his brows slowly raised. “Should I not think so?”

My heart clenched, and I sniffled, upset with myself. “Never changed my mind.”

His features shifted, and he loosed a short breath. “Sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry,” I signed. “Bad communication.”

“Not bad communication,” he corrected lightly, relieved enough to intrigue the others and make me feel guilty. “A slight lack of it, but that isn’t your fault. No one asked—I didn’t ask, and I should have.”

“I didn’t tell you,” I signed in his defense. “I should have.” Before he could counter my words, I signed, “Talk about later, please? With everyone once I can talk?”

“Yes, of course,” he agreed immediately. “We’ll talk about it and figure everything out, but my answer when we talked about this stays the same, all right? And their answers will be like mine, so don’t worry about it if you feel yourself becoming anxious. Okay?”

I nodded and signed my thanks, reaching for him quickly after doing so. He was before me in seconds, lowering himself and cupping my face.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “For telling me this. And we’ll talk about yesterday more if you want to, but I want to apologize that I made you feel excluded yesterday by telling you that you could go to your room. I didn’t intend for it to sound like exclusion, sweetheart, I need you to know that. I would never exclude you—none of us would.”

He caressed my cheeks apologetically. “Okay?”

I leaned into his touch with a quick nod.

“Good,” he said softly. “I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.”

“Sorry,” I signed.

“It’s over now.” He kissed my forehead tenderly. “All over. No more sorries.”

“You too,” I signed with furrowed brows. “No more sorries. Done.”

“Done,” he repeated fondly, sighing into a kiss on my nose. “Sweet girl. Yesterday was horrible for you.”

“You too,” I signed.

“Not as horrible as it was for you,” he returned grimly.

“All over,” I signed the reminder.

“All over,” he repeated, smiling softly when I shifted forward for a kiss. He returned it, gentle and kind, and I smiled hopefully when we pulled away.

His smile remained. “We’ll have that talk later.” He kissed my earlobe, saying for us only, “They’ll be happier than you can imagine.”

I smiled brightly, knowing he wouldn’t lie, and claimed a hug before he went to retrieve his laptop.

Jungkook’s curiosity was poignant, but he didn’t push it, instead telling me, “I’m excited to have the talk later.”

Namjoon chuckled, ruffling the younger’s hair. “Be patient.”

“I am,” Jungkook insisted, smiling at me bashfully. “I am, Faeryn,” he made sure I knew.

“I know,” I signed. “Love you.”

He beamed. “I love you, too.” He tilted his head back to give Namjoon a mischievous look. “She loves me.”

Namjoon snorted. “Yeah, uh-huh, face forward or we’ll have a talk.”

Jungkook giggled and turned back around, hugging Namjoon’s leg tighter and kissing his knee. The latter smiled even though Jungkook couldn’t see him, returning to caressing his hair as he caught my eye.

“I love you,” he mouthed.

I re-hid my face in Jin’s shirt, lifting my hand to sign, “I love you.”

Hoseok returned with the laptop, and Jin shifted me on his lap comfortably so he could write the lease. I alternated between watching him type and the TV, and by the time two episodes had passed, he was finished.

I read over it thoroughly, and he walked me through it when I pointed to certain areas. Everything sounded agreeable and fair, and he implemented Kenley’s monthly lease idea. Rules were in place, income was set, and chores were assigned. I realized with the way he set up the chores, he believed I was still going to live there.

My words still hadn’t returned, so I couldn’t tell him otherwise. I ended up signing, “Few changes, but will tell you later. Show Kenley when I can talk again?”

He kissed my temple. “Yes, we’ll make the changes when you can speak, and show Kenley afterward.”

I offered my lips, and he kissed me, letting me sink into it as I wordlessly conveyed my thanks in the way he deemed acceptable. We kissed for a while, soft and slow, and I enjoyed the pace, sighing contently into a few kisses as the regulation and the safety he provided seeped into me.

By the time Kenley returned, my words did, too.

Taehyung opened the door for her, and she appeared out of breath.

Concerned, I asked, “What is it?”

She looked around until she located me in the living room. “Faeryn; they fixed it.” She nodded curtly. “Good.”

Slumping into a kitchen chair, she leaned her head back and gasped for air.

“Kenley?” I jumped up, hurrying to her. “Can you breathe? What’s wrong? Your thyroid?”

“Ran,” she managed. “I was anxious Ryker would find me.”

Jin’s voice darkened, cold and chilling as it entered the air. “Where is he?”

“I didn’t see him,” Kenley refuted. “I was anxious that I would, so I ran all the way back.”

“Breathe, breathe,” I instructed worriedly. “Do you need water? I’ll get you water.”

“Alcohol’s better,” she mumbled, a hand to her chest as she struggled for air. “Fuck. I hate medication’s bounds.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I poured her a glass of water and hurried back to her. “Here, have some water.”

She gulped it down, panting as soon as she downed the entire glass. “I hate running. I’m not athletic, and I’m asthmatic. I ran to HYBE to find you, and I ran from the library.” Again, she mumbled, “I hate running.”

She patted her chest sporadically.

Jungkook blinked. “I do that, too. Well, Joon hyung does it for me mostly.”

She looked at him, and he explained, “Patting my chest. The pressure helps, and the action and sound are soothing.”

She paused and looked at her hands as if just realizing what she was doing. “Oh,” she simply said.

“You’re self-stimming,” he told her, encouraging the behavior. “It’s good.”

She pushed her chair away from the table and made it face away from him. “Um, please do not look at me. I hate being perceived.”

“Sorry,” Jungkook squeaked.

I poured her some more water as Namjoon and I assured Jungkook he was fine.

“Do you want to go to your room?” I offered.

“Are you telling me to leave because you’re uncomfortable?” she asked wearily.

“No, no,” I quickly denied. “You said you don’t like being perceived, so I thought privacy might make you feel more comfortable.”

“Oh.” Her throat bobbed. “No, I…I guess.”

“Okay. Well, they’re not looking at you. They’re too busy.”

She glanced at me. “With what?”

“Watching my favorite show.” Blushing, I hesitated before revealing, “It’s about dinosaurs.”

“Dinosaurs?” She rubbed her throat. “Like a history documentary?”

“Oh, not that. It’s an animated TV show. Fictional.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Why?” I repeated. “I…I don’t know. To watch for fun?”

She resumed patting her chest, ensuring it was quieter than before. “You watch things for fun?”

“Yeah. Do you?”

“No.”

I faltered. “Why not?”

“I’m going to be a lawyer. I don’t have time to watch things for fun.”

“You don’t…ever go to the movies?”

“Movie theatres are atrocious and so loud.”

“You can wear earplugs to them,” I offered.

“What?” she pressed, surprised. “Is that even allowed? Could I even hear the movie?”

“Well, it depends on what earplugs you get, if you’ll still be able to hear it, but earplugs in a theater are allowed.”

“Well, I don’t have time,” she said wearily, but her breathing was coming in longer breaths. “Earplugs or not. I am studying to be a lawyer.”

“You don’t do anything in your free time?” I asked due to genuine curiosity and to keep her mind off her anxiety.

“I don’t have free time.”

“You don’t hang out with your friends?”

“We hang out in study groups.”

I stared at her, momentarily at a loss. “You enjoy studying? It’s fun?”

“No, studying is not fun. Studying is to make me a lawyer, and once I’m a lawyer, I will have everything I want.”

“What do you want?”

“To be a lawyer.”

I nodded slowly. “Oh, okay. What will you do after you become a lawyer?”

“Be a lawyer,” she said, like it was a strange question.

“I know, but will you be able to have fun since you’ve become a lawyer?”

She finally looked at me, pivoting in her chair. “I don’t understand. I’m going to be busy as a lawyer.”

“So you’ll have fun being a lawyer?” Puzzled, I tried to understand. “I think you’re saying that being a lawyer will be fun, but studying to be a lawyer isn’t fun.”

“No,” she said slowly. “Neither will be fun.”

“Then…why are you doing it?”

“Because,” she said as if it were an answer.

“Because?”

“It’s all I know.”

“You could know more,” I treaded carefully. “Learn different things and see what you like. That’s what college is for, right? At least the first two years, I think. I…I don’t know,” I admitted. “I didn’t go, but I heard someone say that.”

“Faeryn,” she said, trying to sound patient. “You have not been to college before, so you don’t understand. I will be a lawyer because that is all I ever wanted. Life is not fun for me, and that is fine because it never has been. Lawyers’ lives are not supposed to be fun or easy, we are supposed to make our clients’ lives fun and easy.”

I processed this. “Did your parents tell you that?”

“Yes, because it’s true.”

“Well…there are lawyers who have lives outside of being a lawyer.”

She laughed shortly. “Faeryn, you are…strange.”

“Oh, well, I…I don’t think that’s nice to say.”

“But strange isn’t a bad thing.” She paused, confused, and when she realized that I didn’t understand what she meant, she decided not to explain. Instead, she changed her wording to, “Faeryn, you are saying strange things.”

I nodded. “I think you’re saying strange things, too.”

“Okay. I understand.” She studied my expression. “I’m going to change the topic now.”

“Okay.”

“I wrote the eviction letter and dropped it off.”

My eyes widened. “You went to the apartment?”

“Yes, so don’t freak out. It’s already done.”

“Kenley,” I stressed. “He could’ve seen you!”

“Well, I was hoping he would, so I could put the letter there and record our interaction to prove who he truly is to my parents, but he didn’t see me or come out, and I…was not ready to knock on the door.”

“You shouldn’t do that alone,” I insisted. “We should go with you, but stay out of sight just in case you need someone.”

Her brows knitted together. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t want you to go alone!”

Frazzled, she scratched her throat. “Well, okay, I guess. I’ll tell you when I will go to record our interaction.” She looked at my men. “They will come, too?”

“They’ll come,” I confirmed. “I won’t go without them.”

She nodded. “Fine, that’s fine.” She turned the chair back around to face everyone. “Can we talk about the lease since you’re speaking again? And don’t say yes if you don’t mean it; that was very confusing.”

I winced. “Sorry. I thought I was ready to talk about it, but I…was a little too anxious.”

“Yes, you were.” She scratched her throat. “So, can we?”

“We already wrote the lease, but I have to make a few changes, and I didn’t get a chance to talk about it with them yet,” I revealed. “We can talk about it tomorrow, okay? But everything’s been set up, so you’ll have a place to stay.”

Relieved, her shoulders slumped. “Okay. What will I have to pay? Can I know that now?”

Hoping it would help her relax, I said, “You’ll pay 433,360 won monthly.”

She hiccupped. “That’s it?”

I nodded quickly. “Good?”

She shuddered, putting her elbow on the table and pushing her forehead into her palm. “Thank you.”

Namjoon spoke up. “How much are you currently paying for your apartment?”

“2,180,505,” she revealed.

“2,180,505?” half of the room raised in question.

I winced. “That apartment is expensive.”

“You paid that much?” Jungkook asked, surprised. “That’s so much.”

“The whole area is expensive,” I confirmed. “Because it’s walkable and close to everything, so it kind of saves you on transportation.”

“2,180,505 is way above average,” Taehyung said, upset. “They shouldn’t be charging that much.”

“I don’t pay it anymore,” I tried to reassure him, then paused. “Kenley, how much…I’m sorry if this is rude, but how much do you make at your job?”

“It’s a slow-paced job,” she told me. “It’s the only job I’ve…” She trailed off, and I watched with surprise as her cheeks turned a dark shade of red. “Never mind. It doesn’t pay well. That’s all.”

“You can tell me,” I assured her. “I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“I didn’t say you would,” she tried to sound snappish, but her voice broke off at the end, teetering and confused.

“I know. I was telling you just in case.”

“Okay,” she said wearily. “It’s just that I haven’t been able to keep jobs, but it’s only because they’re not lawyer jobs. Once I’m a lawyer, it will be fine.”

My heart felt for her as understanding swept through me. “What do you do?”

“It’s a slower-paced job,” she explained. “Assistant administrative work for a small business.”

“It’s the only job you’ve kept?”

“Yes,” she snapped. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I didn’t say there was, and I won’t because there is nothing wrong with it, you’re right.”

Her lips parted to speak, and when she realized I wasn’t attacking her with my words, her confusion was loud and rendered her speechless. I felt horrible, wondering just how many people had insulted her over her job.

“Being a lawyer,” I said carefully, “could be something you really like to do, but it also could be…awful. You already said that you don’t enjoy it. Do you think you could keep doing it, even if you hate it?”

“I’ll have no choice,” she said firmly. “That is why I have to get a degree. It will keep me trapped, so I will have no choice but to enjoy what I do; I spent enough money to stay in this career, so that will motivate me.”

“Well…okay.” I clasped my hands. “Do you want to play a game?”

“A…game?”

“Yeah! Since we’re not going to talk about the lease now, and you’ve already finished the eviction letter, we can just hang out.”

“Um, no.” But she didn’t move from where she sat. “I can study for classes.”

“But it’s the weekend,” I explained. “And on the weekend, we play games, so since you’re with us, you should play games, too. It’s like…a nice rule.”

“A nice rule,” she repeated, eyeing me suspiciously. “You’re saying strange things again.”

“Okayyyy, but not playing a game with us on the weekend would be doing a stranger thing than what I’m saying.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” She looked at everyone, then back at me. “What game?”

“We’re going to play…” I thought as quickly as I could, and taking her job into account, I suggested, “Monopoly.”

“What is that?”

I beamed. “You get to save up money, get money from the bank, and buy property from the game and other players. But if you land on someone else’s property, you have to pay, and if you don’t make enough money from your properties, you go bankrupt and lose!”

She blinked rapidly. “Bankruptcy in a game? This is very strange, Faeryn. Why would you play a game about bankruptcy?” But she was leaning forward in her chair. “Where is this game?”

“The hotel has it downstairs; I saw it, and they let people borrow it.”

“Bankruptcy,” she mumbled. “How strange.” She eyed me, half curious, half guarded. “Who is the bank in the game?”

“A player can be in charge of handing out the money, but…I don’t know.” I tried to shrug nonchalantly. “It has to be someone who’s good at handling money, keeping track of it and the properties, and…maybe we shouldn’t play.”

Her pupils dilated. “Why?”

“I don’t know if anyone can be the bank that well.”

“This is a strange game,” she exclaimed suddenly. “I will be the bank player.”

I grinned. “I’ll go get it.”

Notes:

I hope everyone's enjoying this story! I know it's long; I just love writing it 🤭 I really like writing a more complex character like Kenley. Sometimes, things aren't always black and white. Kenley's in the grey area right now, especially since we don't know much about her. Don't worry; the focus won't be taken away from Faeryn and her men just because Kenley is suddenly around 😂

Chapter 59: The Correct Formula For Love

Summary:

Faeryn garners the courage to talk to her men about wanting to live at home again. Meanwhile, Kenley discovers an affinity for Monopoly.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

"No!" Kenley demanded, refusing to relinquish a property to Jimin. 

Jungkook hid his giggles behind his hand.

"Faeryn," Kenley insisted, glaring at Jimin. "This was going to be my property in the next round."

"But his turn came first," I explained. "And you might not even have rolled the dice to land on it."

"I would have," she pleaded her case. 

"Jimin," I bribed from beside Kenley. "Can you let her try?"

"No, honey, I can't." He held his hand out. "Property."

"Jimin," Namjoon said lightly, but he was biting back a smile from the sound of Jungkook's heightened giggles.

"Don't start," Jimin responded, not bothering to spare him a glance. "I'm playing by the rules of the game while someone here is not."

"It's her first time playing," I coaxed. "Please? Wouldn't you want someone to give you a second chance if it was your first time?"

"That's a sweet sentiment, but this property is mine."

I blinked at him through my lashes. "Please?"

He inhaled sharply. "Faeryn."

I repeated my actions, pushing my lip downward slightly. "Jimin, please. I really want you to be nice."

He dragged his palm over his face, and with a low groan, he tossed the dice to the next player, a now gleefully laughing Jungkook who barely kept himself from falling into Hoseok.

Kenley gaped at me. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," I said innocently.

Jimin deadpanned. "You know what you did."

Enjoying the lighter atmosphere after yesterday and this morning, I shook my head in faux confusion. "No, I just asked you, and you were so nice and listened."

He muttered under his breath, earning laughter from the others and more confusion from Kenley.

"Faeryn," she said as Jungkook took his turn with a big grin and multiple teasing words directed at Jimin. "Were you being 'just Faeryn'?"

Hoseok chuckled, catching her words. "Yes, she was."

Kenley regarded the scene curiously. "That was a surprise change of heart." She waited impatiently for her turn. "I will get that property."

Much to Jimin's annoyance, she did.

"Okay," she announced as she handed herself the property card and set aside $200 for when she would pass 'Go!'. She smirked and mumbled under her breath, scanning the hotels in the box.

"What was that?" Jimin asked, his tone dry and lacking interest.

"Mind your business and your lack of hotels," she said.

Jungkook exploded into another fit of giggles, and his laughter was contagious, earning it from several of the others.

Kenley smoothed her money down and handed the dice to Jimin. "Your turn."

Jimin took his turn, shoved his character into jail, and leaned back on the floor, putting his arm over his eyes as he ignored Jungkook's peels of laughter.

"How long does he stay in jail?" Kenley asked as she leafed through the instruction manual. 

"It says on the card," Jimin muttered. "That I just read."

"I couldn't hear you over Jungkook's laughter at your misfortune."

"For fuck's sake," he spoke his displeasure, closing his eyes as he prepared for two rounds without a turn.

Two rounds passed without Jimin, and Kenley racked up hotels and new properties, thoroughly enjoying being in charge of everything.

The game went on for hours, and when it was down to just her and Jin, the rest of us had scattered around the hotel playing different games, honing in on our portable hobbies, or chatting in the kitchen while we waited for room service to bring dinner.

"No!" Kenley shouted, earning all of our attentions. She was fuming, the tips of her ears red and noticeable against her orange hair. 

Jin sat back, amused. He looked around until he found me, and his features relaxed into a handsome smile. I promptly melted, forgetting to wonder why Kenley shouted until Jungkook raced out of Namjoon's room with his Nintendo Switch, asking, "What happened?! Who won?!"

"I did," Kenley stated, upset. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, skidding to a stop and steadying his Switch. "You won!"

"Yes," she mumbled, looking at the board. "I wanted to go one more round and add more hotels."

I giggled. "Jin wouldn't have been able to pay you another round."

"I still wanted to add another hotel," she muttered. "Then I would've had the number I wanted, but now the game is over, and I don't know if I'll ever win again."

"That's part of the fun," I encouraged. "You're really good, especially since you've never played before."

"Played?" She shook her head. "No, this is not playing. This is strategy, and I made him go bankrupt. No lawyer would've been able to save him."

Jungkook giggled and plopped down beside Jin, surveying the gameboard. "Oh yeah. He lost lost."

Jin pushed Jungkook's head playfully, earning more giggles from the latter as the former stood. Jungkook jumped up after him as Kenley began sorting through the money, claiming she would reorganize everything.

"Dinner's almost here," I told her when she denied my help to reorganize Monopoly. "Do you want to watch a movie with us while we eat?"

"Uh, yes, I guess. What movie?"

"We'll pick one while we wait for the food."

"Um...yes. Okay."

We browsed quickly, knowing the food was on its way, and luckily found something we were all interested in, even a dubious Kenley.

Seated in the living area while Kenley took her time organizing Monopoly, we settled in to watch the movie.

After thirty minutes passed, Kenley was halfway done with her food and restarted organizing Monopoly, purposefully messing it up. She wasn't very into the movie, but she would glance at the TV occasionally before her full attention was caught on Monopoly. After a while, I realized she was playing by herself, making the moves for three players. I wondered if she wanted to play with us again, but I didn't want to interrupt her flow, so I settled into the couch beside Taehyung and figured she would ask us if she wanted company.

The movie ended, but her gameplay didn't. Jungkook peeked over Namjoon's corner to view what she was doing. "Kenley?" he asked as a few of the others stood to stretch.

She jolted, torn out of her fixation. "Hello?"

"Can I play?"

"Um, not right now. I'm in the middle of the strategy." She paused and added, "No...thank you?" She nodded to herself. "No, thank you."

"Okay. What strategy?" he wondered. "With who?"

"Myself," she told him, returning her focus on the game. "And it's a strategy for her." She gestured to a character. "She'll win, and the others will go bankrupt."

Jungkook giggled, and she looked at him, unsure as to why he giggled. "Isn't that cheating?"

"I plead the fifth," she said under her breath, rolling the dice and smirking as her main character moved to a good property. "Very good, very good."

Jungkook giggled again. "Can I watch if I can't play?"

"Um, no. No, thank you." She shifted so her back was to him, dutifully hiding the board and her face. "I don't like being perceived."

Jungkook hesitated and glanced at me, wordlessly wondering if he'd done something wrong.

"It's okay," I signed. "You're being sweet."

He gnawed on his lip and nodded, responding to Kenley, "I hope the character you like wins."

"Wins?" Kenley repeated. "No." She smirked again. "She will dominate." 

Jungkook grinned up at Namjoon and curled into him, yelping in surprise when the latter stood. 

Namjoon chuckled. "I'm getting some water, bub. I'll be right back."

Jungkook reached for him, pushing onto his stomach and shoving his arms over the armrest. "Don't go."

Namjoon's low chuckles left with him as he and a few of the others went to the kitchen for refreshments.

I wiggled closer to Jungkook, giggling as I settled onto his back. "Hi."

His giggles joined mine. "What are you doing?"

"Flying."

He reached up to tickle me, making me squeal with laughter. I tried to return the favor, but as soon as I did, he pivoted and caused me to shift onto his stomach, attacking my sides with tickles.

I shrieked gleefully, trying to escape, but he kept me to me, beaming when my laughter increased. It filled the room, and when all that left me was gasped giggles, he relaxed his hands and hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck and kissing all around.

When I rested my cheek on his shoulder, blissfully enjoying the attention, I saw my men watching with fond smiles. The extended attention from them made my cheeks heat, and my smile turned bashful, wavering when Kenley and I made eye contact.

She blinked. "Your...formula. For love." She looked at Jungkook, then back at me. "It really works. 'Just Faeryn'."

"'Just Faeryn' is the best Faeryn because she's just being herself. "Jungkook kissed my cheek repeatedly. "I love you."

I hugged him tightly, beaming. "I love you!"

He kissed the corner of my mouth. "Can I tickle you again?"

I grinned. "Not if I tickle you first."

He shrieked with laughter as it was my turn to attack with giggles, and my men laughed as Jungkook and I raced around the hotel, alternating who tickled who. 

Things felt better after our communication, and Kenley's "rudeness" seemed to come from a place of confusion and pattern recognition from people being rude to her about certain things. She was always on her guard, and it didn't make being rude okay, but it explained it. I hoped that when she started to get to know us, she would feel more comfortable and know that we wouldn't treat her unkindly.

For now, I laughed with Jungkook, enjoying our time after yesterday's turmoil.

꧁꧂

Morning came with plans, and after Kenley left to get some fresh air, I decided it would be a good time to talk to my men about living arrangements.

Gathering my courage, I found Hoseok in his room, hurrying to where he was tugging on a sweatshirt. He smiled when he saw me, accepting me readily into his arms. "There you are." Kissing my head, he breathed deeply. "Good morning, sweetheart."

"I missed you," I said into his chest.

"I missed you, too." He squeezed me gently to him. "How did you sleep?"

"Good." I squirmed. 

"Yeah?" He rubbed my lower back. "What's on your mind?"

My squirming increased. "Can we talk about me coming back home? But I...I want to talk about it with the others this time, too."

"Of course we can, sweetheart." He kissed my forehead. "Of course we can."

"I...feel a little guilty for how I talked to you the other day," I admitted after a moment with downcast eyes. "I said that I should've known you all wouldn't have calmed down. That wasn't true or fair; you're all so good to me, and you've never given me a reason to say something like that." I hung my head. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, no." He squeezed my waist. "We already apologized."

"But I didn't apologize directly for that," I insisted. "And I wanted to."

"I understand that, but there's no need to feel any more guilt, all right? No one's upset with you, and we weren't before." He tucked a strand of hair away from my face. "Do you understand that?"

I nodded, chewing on my lip. "I still don't like the way I treated everyone when I was upset."

"We weren't being very good listeners," he spoke in my defense. "Were we?"

I faltered. "I'm apologizing."

"I'm making a point," he countered with a small smile. 

I sighed. "Well...you weren't all listening very well, but neither was I. I should've just walked away."

"In your defense, you did."

"Only after everything got heated," I said quietly. 

"We can't always be perfect, and we'll learn from this. Together, okay? Sometimes, things are not always black and white." He sighed softly. "We were arguing because we felt the need to protect you, and you were arguing because you felt the need to protect Kenley. We were all arguing for a good cause; we just needed to take a step back. Everything was heightened and intense."

I nodded, releasing my bottom lip from my teeth when his thumb gently drew it away. "Yeah. Do you...think we're okay?"

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"If we don't agree about Kenley staying at my apartment," I explained. "Can we still be okay? What if...this is what makes us..." My voice dipped into a whisper. "Break up?"

"Break up?" His forehead pinched with concerned surprise. "Sweetheart, it's going to take more than an argument to take you away from us."

My heart kickstarted in my throat, and I inched forward, grabbing his shirt sleeve and tugging. Hard. "Nothing will," I tried to make it sound like a statement, but it came out like a question.

He placed his hand over mine, leaning down slightly to catch my averted gaze. "Nothing will," he repeated firmly.

"Okay," I responded, my voice higher than usual. 

"You're allowed to be upset with us." His brows tugged together as he kept his face level with mine, trying to catch my eye. "You're allowed to wait to speak with us about something we did that upset you until you're ready. There's no rush; we're not going anywhere."

"Hobi," I said, strained.

"Talk to me." He cupped the side of my face. "I'm right here."

"I...I don't want to make eye contact right now, and...and you're trying to." I swallowed anxiously. "I don't want to."

"Okay, sweetheart, that's perfectly fine." He kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry."

"No, no," I breathed out quickly. "It's okay. Don't be sorry. I just didn't—I don't—want to make eye contact because if I think I read your expression wrong, I'll ruminate about it later."

"Thank you for telling me," he murmured. "Do you want me to tell you what I'm feeling toward this conversation so you don't have to worry about reading it wrong?"

I nodded quickly as my eyes darted around the room without ever landed on his. "Yes, please."

"I feel grateful to have this conversation with you, and I feel relieved to know you'll be living with us. I've missed you incredibly," he added the last part in a quieter tone, more fervently than the rest. "And I'm eager to have you back home."

My eyes braved his chin. "Promise?"

"I promise."

I nodded tentatively. "And the others?"

"I can't speak for them, but I know they feel the same way." He smiled softly. "We've talked about how much we miss your presence around the house. It's never felt quite the same without you."

Starting to relax, my eyes drifted to his cheeks. "I...can still come home?"

"Our home is your home," he said seriously, gentle comfort lacing his tone. "You can always come home."

I breathed shakily. "Okay. Thank you. I...I was nervous that since we argued, you might not want to be around me for a while."

He caressed my cheek. "Was there anything we did to make you feel like we didn't want you around?"

"You...you didn't do anything," I said after careful deliberation. "But yesterday and the day before, I just...I felt so left out—but I know it was my fault. I wasn't talking to anyone because I was upset."

"I'm so sorry that you felt left out," he lamented, shifting his hand to clasp the back of my neck and bring me closer to me, causing me to grip his waist for stability. "All you have to do is come to one of us, and we'll make sure you feel included. We don't ever want you to feel otherwise, okay? That won't and never will be our dynamic with you."

"Oh." I shuddered with relief. "That's really great because I...I was a little scared yesterday." I clutched his sweatshirt where it fell above his hips. "I wanted to talk to everyone so much before I had a verbal shutdown yesterday, and it felt so..." I shifted from foot-to-foot anxiously. "Lonely. I missed my morning hugs and...and kisses."

"Oh, sweetheart." His thumb pressed deeply into the back of my neck, soothing around in a light massage that made me weak in the knees. "Do you want them now?"

I nodded quickly, and he took it upon himself to dip his face to mine and offer me a long, deep kiss. During it, he placed his hand on my back and eased me closer, allowing me to sink into his arms for a hug. With a sigh, I succumbed to him, hooking my fingers through his belt loops and holding on tight.

Lowering one arm, he scooped me up from beneath my bottom, and my startled noise was lost in his mouth just as my hold on his belt loops were, traded for a grasp of his shirt as our lips moved together. Breathless, I leaned back and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely. 

"Hoseok," I whispered, squirming to shift.

He readjusted me in his arms, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist, and he hoisted me easily to brush our noses together.

I kissed him repeatedly, slowly and quickly, alternating and enjoying the taste and feel of him. His usual vanilla scent surrounded me, mixed with the earthier smell of his cologne, and I kissed where he usually sprayed it on his neck, rubbing my nose around with a happy sigh. The familiarity and enjoyment of the smells made me pleasantly dizzy, and I surrendered to the feeling, planting my face near his throat and kissing along it.

He rocked me slightly, his kisses soft and tender when I offered my lips, showing me how much he cared about me without needing to say a word.

I sighed with relief. "Thank you."

His lips hovered over mine. "Thank you."

I breathed tremulously. "I love you."

"I love you." He kissed my twitching brow. "Try to relax. The talk will go well."

"I hope so."

"It will, sweetheart." He soothed his thumb over my brow. "Do you want some tea? Coffee?"

"Mm...maybe we can all get coffee once Kenley gets back," I suggested. "Do you think she'll want to go with us?"

"I'm not sure, but we can ask."

I smiled tentatively. "Okay. She liked Monopoly."

"She did."

"You..." I tried to decipher his expression but came up empty. "I'm...Hoseok, I'm not sure what you're thinking."

"About what?" He held me tighter, kissing me to ease the strain of my confusion. "I'll tell you. All you have to do is ask."

"About...Kenley," I said carefully.

He rocked me side to side as he thought. "My first impression of her has changed since we learned she talked badly about you behind your back, but like you said, it was in the height of abuse, and for your sake, I'm trying to keep things neutral. It doesn't mean that I like her, trust her, or agree with what she said about you. I'm..." He breathed deeply. "Tolerating her."

"What if...she didn't say anything bad about me?"

"I'm not sure, sweetheart, because she did."

My disappointment couldn't be hidden, and he tucked his fingers beneath my chin, lifting it slightly. He gently asked, "Can you tell me why us liking her is important to you?"

I hung my head as he kissed my cheek. "I don't want her to feel lonely and disliked, especially after finding the courage to leave Ryker and cut off her parents for siding with him. She already apologized."

"I know she did, but we don't know her well enough to trust that her apologies mean anything. We're being kind," he added softly. "We're including her."

"I know." I clung to him. "It means a lot to me. I just..." I shrugged sadly. "I hope that Kenley and I can become friends, and...I don't want you all to dislike her forever."

"We can't look that far into it, so I can't say how we'll feel about her then, but I can promise you that we'll give her our kindness for your sake, and because we understand that she's going through a lot."

"I don't think she'll talk about me badly anymore."

"I hope you're right." He smiled rigidly. "We only have so much kindness to give."

I nodded a bit. "I hope everyone can be friends."

"We'll ask her if she wants to go for coffee with the rest of us," he responded, keeping his tone light. "For now, do you want to talk with the others?"

"I want to," I agreed, wiggling to move higher in his arms and closer to his forehead. I pressed a kiss to it. "I love you."

His smile lost its rigidness, turning softer. "I love you."

In the living area, Hoseok called everyone to enter, and everyone came from their respective parts of the hotel room.

Jungkook came bounding it with his Nintendo Switch, putting it away when Hoseok revealed we were going to talk. Jungkook almost tripped multiple times in his hurry to put his Switch away and return to the living area, all grins and excited pants as he jumped onto the couch.

"I'm here!" he announced breathlessly, his bunny smile on display. "I'm ready to have our talk."

His eagerness evoked a smile from me, and I nodded quickly. "Me too."

He beamed and shuffled closer to Yoongi who sat beside him. "Are we going to have it now?"

I clasped my hands, remaining standing as everyone sat. "Yeah, I...I'm going to start it off."

Taehyung patted the spot beside him. "Do you want to sit?"

I swallowed. "Later."

His brows bunched together. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I rushed out. "I'm just a little nervous, but we can still have the talk."

"We can," Jin confirmed, watching me closely. "We won't say otherwise, Faeryn. It's your decision."

I blinked as his words permeated me. "Oh. Thank you."

He dipped his chin. "Whenever you're ready, we're listening."

Relief greeted me. "Okay, thank you." Rubbing my arm for comfort, I shifted in place. "I...thought about how to talk about this last night and this morning, but I think I'll mess up my words a little."

"That's fine," Namjoon told me. "Communicate however you can. If you want to alternate between speaking and signing, you can."

I nodded gratefully. "Okay. I'm going to start now."

They each nodded their agreement, waiting patiently for me.

I took a deep breath. "When...okay, so when..." I trailed off, struggling to form a coherent sentence with the anxiety strumming in my chest. Clearing my throat, I picked back up with, "When I said that Kenley could live in my apartment, I wasn't...clear."

They nodded along, wordlessly alerting me they were listening.

"And...Hoseok and I talked about it at your vacation home," I continued, rubbing my arm quickly. "But we didn't tell anyone about it because a lot happened since then—it was really busy. Right?"

Agreement filled the room.

"Right," I exhaled. "Really busy, and then...Kenley showed up yesterday, and when I said she could live at my apartment, I meant it—I still do—but Cheverie helped me realize that you all thought something untrue about the situation."

I stood stiffly, avoiding eye contact with everyone. "Okay. I'm going to say it now."

"Take your time," Hoseok assured me.

"Take my time," I echoed. "I am. I'm taking my time. I am."

"I know you are." He smiled softly when I peeked at him. "It's okay."

I nodded a few times. "Okay." Sucking air in through my cheeks, the words tumbled out of me. "I've wanted to come home for a long time, but I didn't know how to ask you, and so this is me asking all of you if it's okay for me to come home." I squirmed in place uncomfortably, blurting, "Maybe—hopefully—permanently."

They blinked.

Jungkook clamped a hand over his mouth, and I looked up to catch the action, surprised to see the excitement swirling in his irises. 

"Really?" he asked, his voice raising a pitch. "You're coming home?"

My lips parted to speak, but when I looked around and saw their bright smiles, every bit of tension bled out of me. 

"Oh." I shuddered with relief. "That's really great."

Jungkook hopped up worriedly. "You're nervous."

I sat on the floor, smiling weakly. 

"Faeryn," he stressed my name, hurrying over to scoop me up. "It's okay." He kissed my cheeks repeatedly. "Pretty, pretty Faeryn." He kissed my chin. "We've been waiting for you to want to come back home."

"Want to?" I gaped at him. "I've always wanted to."

"Always?" He stared at me, shocked. "You didn't want to tell us? You weren't ready?"

"I didn't know—well, I..." I trained my eyes on his chin. "I didn't know if you wanted me to come back."

"Of course we did," Taehyung jumped in. "We always, always wanted you around."

Namjoon added softly, "You wouldn't be at home every day if we didn't want you around."

"It was and always will be your decision," Jin said firmly, but his features were so soft—a deep reprieve from the anger written into them the past two days. 

"And you wanted your apartment so much," Jungkook recalled with big eyes. "That was the plan, and you were excited to finally have somewhere safe from Ryker."

"But I already had one," I told him quietly, gripping his shoulders. "At home."

"You never wanted to go?" Taehyung asked.

I hesitated. "I...I liked that I had an apartment because I knew I was independent and could take care of myself after Ryker said I never could."

"Yeah," Jungkook said fiercely, tightening his grip on me. "Because you are independent. Ryker is a liar and takes and takes and takes; he's the abusive, co-dependent person, not you."

Hoseok confirmed, "Your independence is a part of you, and even at home, you're free to be independent. We encourage it."

Yoongi spoke firmly—and thoughtfully. "Independence is important and valuable for everyone, but especially those who've had it stripped from them. Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable in that aspect when you return home with us?"

Giddiness coursed through me. "Home."

He started to smile. "Home."

After a shared smile, I revealed, "I can take care of myself, so I don't want anyone to worry too much. I've lived my whole life without you and experienced Ryker alone. I'm strong. That...that doesn't  mean that I don't want you in my life now or that I don't appreciate you," I quickly added just in case they misunderstood. "I'm so happy and grateful that I have all of you now; I didn't mean it in any other way.

"We know you didn't," Namjoon said kindly. "We know. And," he added, "Your independence has never been a question. We know how capable and strong you are, Faeryn. We're very proud of you."

I smiled gratefully, feeling like I could burst. "Thank you. I'm...really proud of all of us for communicating. This is like...our first fight."

"Argument," he gently amended. "We'll never fight."

"Oh. Sorry." I blushed. "I get the words mixed up sometimes."

"There's nothing wrong with that," he said with a fond smile. "I just want you to differentiate between the two since fighting is more violently known. An argument is a discussion."

"Okay, then this was our first real argument," I reworded with a bashful smile. "I didn't like it, but I'm really happy that we're still together."

Their smiles dimmed as their brows tugged together, and my name was chorused back at me in a concerned manner.

I squeaked when Jungkook's protective hold became constricting. 

"Of course we're still together," he said vehemently, his eyes burning with concern and mild upset. "You belong to us." He peered down into my face with knitted brows, brushing his nose against my forehead protectively. "You're not going anywhere."

"Bub," Namjoon said lightly. "Tone it down."

"She thought we would leave because of an argument," Jungkook responded with an agitated crease lining his forehead. "It's just not true."

"We know it's not true, but tone it down," Namjoon reiterated firmly. "She's free to go and do as she pleases. What did we just say about independence?" 

"I know," Jungkook insisted. "But she belongs to us. That means she doesn't have to be afraid of us leaving, especially over an argument. We'll communicate and fix things every single time."

Yoongi supplemented, "He is trying to make her feel better in ways he believes will help because similar soothing has helped him. Correct, Jungkook?"

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah, hyung, it's true. Joon hyung always tells me I'm safe because I belong to him."

"What works for you might not work for Faeryn," Hoseok reminded him kindly. 

Namjoon took one look at me and chuckled. "It might."

Everyone's eyes darted to where I was practically purring against Jungkook's chest, my eyes fluttering with appreciation as the pressure from his hold and reassuring words enveloped me.

Jungkook puffed out his chest with pride, and I nuzzled against it. "See, hyungs? I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, you do," Hoseok responded, a fond tease. "You did come off a bit strong, so Faeryn, sweetheart, I want to preface that even though you belong to us, we belong to you just as much, and if you would ever like to leave, you can. You're not trapped here."

"Trapped?" My head shot up off of Jungkook's chest. "I know I'm not trapped." I paused. "Do you...feel trapped with me?"

"No, sweetheart, of course not," he soothed. "I just want you to know that you're free to go as you please."

"Go? No, I—no." I clung to Jungkook. "I'm not going. I don't ever want to leave you."

"Then you don't have to," Jin spoke, his voice a low rumble. "You will stay with us, and we will stay with you."

I shivered. "Yes, Jin."

Namjoon leaned forward, regarding me with a small smile. "Faeryn."

I peeked over Jungkook's shoulder. "Yes?"

"Thank you for communicating with us."

"Thank you for communicating with me, too," I responded shyly.

His tender smile made me weak. "If you ever want to talk more about anything or feel like we're being too overbearing, you can always tell us. We'll never be mad at you for communicating."

"And you can always talk to me too," I spoke with determination. "We'll communicate together." I hesitated. "What do you mean by too overbearing?"

"Not giving you space to breathe, process, or make decisions." His lips formed a straight line. "We don't want you to feel like you're not capable of making your own decisions and doing things on your own."

"I know I can do things on my own and make my own decisions," I said after a moment of careful thought. "I...I also like when you help me. Just because you help me doesn't mean I can't do it. It just means you're making it easier for me, and I really appreciate it so much, like when Jin made the lease. He didn't have to do that, but I was overwhelmed and not fully verbal, so he helped me. I know I could've done it once I felt better, and he did too, so I...think it's okay to get help as long as you know I can do it by myself, too."

"And we do," he confirmed. "Even if you can't do something on your own, it's okay to need help, okay? It's important to know that needing help doesn't make you incompetent; it makes you human."

I nodded slowly. "I...I think it's hard to realize that sometimes, but I'll try my best."

"I know you will, baby. You always do." He shared a smile with me. "Relearning things is a process, hm? Take your time; there's no rush."

Once I agreed, Yoongi added, "Helping you makes me feel important, and I...become very proud of myself." With slightly flushed cheeks, he concluded, "I love helping you, and I love when you help me. It makes me feel cared for, and we...are a team."

"We are," I attested immediately, a happy light finding my eyes. "We're a team. All of us. I'm proud of myself too when I help any of you feel better, and I get happy. Is that...how you feel when you help me?"

Firm agreement filled the room, and Hoseok elaborated, "Knowing you're cared for is one thing, but knowing we're the ones giving you the care, love, and support is another thing entirely. It's euphoric, Faeryn. Intoxicating."

Taehyung exhaled shortly. "You fall into a certain headspace sometimes when you're really well taken care of, and you look so blissful and peaceful. It makes me want to make sure you're taken care of and loved forever, even more than I already do."

I blushed. "Really?"

"Yes," he confirmed quickly. "Really."

"Taking care of someone," Namjoon supplemented, "doesn't mean they can't take care of themselves. Sometimes it's nice to be coddled and doted on, isn't it? You get to take a little break and relax, and after everything you've been through"—he sighed shortly—"you deserve it."

"Thank you," I murmured. "And I help you, too? You said I did before, but I just want to make sure."

I received more agreement from them, and I beamed.

"We take care of each other," I said happily. "And we take care of ourselves. We're the best team, aren't we?"

"The best," Jungkook breathed out, biting my cheek lightly. The playful action made me giggle, and I pushed our lips together for a quick kiss that he quickly turned heated.

I whimpered when he bit my bottom lip, dragging it into his mouth to suck lightly. 

Namjoon chuckled. "Tone it down, bub."

Jungkook pulled away, his eyes glazed over and brows furrowed as he met my eye. "I love you."

Blushing, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you."

With a low groan, he buried his face in my neck and kissed around my throat, claiming me with every nibble and swipe of his tongue

"The talk," I managed to gasp out as my mind spun. "Jungkook, the talk."

He lifted his dewy, plaintive eyes to mine. 

I shivered. "The talk."

Taehyung suggested, "You can come sit down if you want, Faeryn. Jungkook, too."

Jungkook glared at him. "She can stay with me."

"She can do what she wants to do," Jin admonished sharply. "Watch your tone when speaking to your hyungs."

Jungkook looked at me, gnawing on his lip. "Do you want to sit down with me?"

"Jungkook," Jin warned.

Jungkook mumbled, "Do you want to sit down?"

"You're making me dizzy," I admitted. "A good dizzy, but we have to keep having the talk." I nodded encouragingly. "Okay?"

Although disappointed, he nodded and carefully set me down. When I looked up at him to offer a reassuring chest pat, my lips parted when I viewed his crossed arms and stern features as his taller frame hovered over mine. His newly muscular form wasn't helping, and I swallowed.

"Jungkook, you—" I hugged my elbows to my chest. "You're really—you—" I swallowed again. "Hi."

He cocked his head, his confusion momentarily pushing aside his stern front. "Hi."

When I kept staring, his stern front was replaced with concern. Stepping forward, he leaned down and rubbed my elbows reassuringly. "Okay?" he pressed. "What's wrong? Was I too rough?"

Wide-eyed, I shook my head. "No."

He exhaled, relieved. "Oh, okay." He paused. "But what's wrong? Is this a coral?"

"Coral?" the others echoed.

"It's when she's overstimulated and can't explain it," Jungkook explained. "A code word."

I shook my head.

"Oh." His lips tugged downward. "Ducky, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I squeaked. "You just"—I gestured to him, causing one of his hands to fall from my elbow—"look really good."

He blinked. "I do?"

I nodded rapidly. "You've—I mean, you've been going to the gym, and you look—well, you've always looked nice, but you look so strong, and just now, you looked upset, and you—" I inhaled sharply. "You just look really good."

A small smile tugged at his lips. "Did I make you shy?" 

I swatted his chest. "No!"

"I did," he countered, starting to grin. "Just like hyungs do."

"No," I insisted hotly, embarrassed. I covered my face with my hands. "Only...a little."

He giggled and gently removed my hands from my face. "It's okay." He pecked my lips. "I can make you shy sometimes."

I huffed my protests, turning in an attempt to flee, but he tugged me back easily with pleased laughter.

"I love you," he said in a sing-song voice, kissing beneath my ear. "Are you sitting with hyungs?"

I squirmed. "Yeah."

"Can we sit together later?"

I nodded. "Yeah, promise."

I felt him grin against my neck. "Can I make you shy then, too?"

I struggled to escape, swatting his hands as I tried to free myself. Giggling, he released me, squeezing my hip before I raced to the couch.

Settling into Yoongi, I hid my face in his shoulder as I practice deep breaths. His hands warmed my arms, rubbing to soothe, and I mumbled, "We have to keep talking."

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked. "We will talk about it."

"I...I want to know when I can come back home," I revealed hopefully.

"Ah, yes, that is a good question." He nodded curtly. "Right away."

Hoseok chuckled softly. "When would you like to move in, sweetheart? Is that too soon?"

"Right away is perfect," I said breathily, lifting my face as I beamed. "I'll make sure Kenley is comfortable in my apartment, and then I'll pack everything I need for home."

"That's right," Jin confirmed. "We'll bring everything you need."

"Thank you," I responded gratefully. "I'm...I'm so excited that I can come back home. I wanted to ask for so long, but I was a little scared that you would all say no."

"How could we say no to you?" Yoongi murmured, bringing me closer to him. "You light up our lives, Faeryn. Of course we want you to come home and light it back up again."

My smile brimmed with a giddy sense of happiness, and I hugged him. "Home."

"Home," he repeated with a smile of his own.

Jin took in the scene, all of us within it, and smiled. "Do you have anything else you want to talk about, Faeryn?"

I shook my head contently. "Done. Thank you."

He looked to the others after sharing a smile with me. "Does anyone have anything to add?" 

Taehyung piped up, "I'm so glad you're coming home, Faeryn." He beamed. "We can have crochet nights."

I nodded eagerly. "Yeah!"

Namjoon shifted, setting his attention on Jimin. "What about you? You've been quiet."

Jimin lounged against the couch lazily, his features hiding what he was thinking and feeling. "Nothing wrong with silence."

"No, there's not." Namjoon watched him closely. "But you've been quiet through the entire discussion."

"I spoke my agreement, didn't I?"

"Besides that, Jimin."

Jimin shook his head, and his eyes flickered away with annoyance. "Drop it."

Namjoon arched a brow. "If this has something to do with the conversation, it should be talked about now."

"It doesn't have anything to do with Faeryn coming home," Jimin said rigidly. "Drop it."

"All right." Namjoon dipped his chin. "It's dropped."

Unsure, I asked, "Jimin?"

His tone was rough, almost harsh. "Yes, honey."

"Do you...want to talk? Just me and you?" I pointed to his room. "In there?"

He rubbed his temples, and when the silence dragged on, and I assumed he wouldn't respond, he said coarsely, "Coral."

My eyes widened. "Okay."

He stood and left into his room, and the click of the door lock sounded. 

I looked at the others worriedly. "What happened?"

Jin exhaled. "He's angry, Faeryn. He needs time."

"About Kenley?" I asked, pained. 

"Most likely," Namjoon concurred. "He'll be fine. There's no need to worry. His anger is just taking a bit longer to fizzle out."

Jungkook decided, "He used coral so he wouldn't get angrier if he talked about it."

"That's right, bub," Namjoon confirmed. "When it gets to that point of anger, even neutral conversation isn't worth while."

Jungkook nodded slowly. "Hyung will be fine," he reassured me. "He just needs time like Namjoon said."

Someone knocked on the door. "It's me," Kenley said from the other side, muffled and out of breath. "Kenley."

"She ran again," I stated with concern, on my feet in seconds. Lifting my voice, I called, "I'm coming!"

Hurrying to the door, I unlocked it to reveal her panting for air.

"Ryker wasn't around?" I checked.

She shook her head and collapsed into a kitchen chair. "I ran to be safe in case I saw him. I will see him," she ensured I knew. "Maybe on Tuesday when I collect my things from my apartment. Not yet."

I pressed my lips together worriedly. "Do you want water?"

"I want alcohol."

"Oh, well, what about  a...compromise?"

She squinted as her chest heaved. "A compromise?"

I pushed out my best smile. "Coffee!"

"I hate coffee."

"Oh." Picking up again, I tried, "Maybe you haven't found the coffee you like."

She wasn't convinced.

I tried, "You have to find the right mix of flavors and milk, almost like it's a..." My eyes lit up. "A formula."

She perked up slightly. "A formula."

"Yup! A coffee formula, and you can make it yourself."

"A formula. For coffee." She soothed her fingers along her throat until they slowly lowered. Momentarily, she announced decisively, "I will try to make a coffee formula. When do we leave?"

I tossed a glance over my shoulders at the others. "Does everyone want to go get coffee with Kenley and me?"

Everyone stood immediately, and I turned back to Kenley with a big smile. "Do you want to go now?"

She looked at everyone, surprised. "That was a quick decision."

"They like coffee," I responded laughingly.

"Not all of them," she decided. "Not the angry one."

"Oh. Jimin's not always angry." I stood up straighter, slightly bristled. "It's okay to be angry sometimes. It helps you process things, and he's not hurting anyone."

"I didn't say that he was." She struggled to assess my expression. "Did...I upset you?"

I hesitated. "Well...yeah, a little bit. It's just because Jimin isn't always angry; he's such a kind, loving person. He's just angry right now because something upsetting happened, and he's taking some time to cool off. It's the right thing to do."

"Oh. I see." She rubbed her hands awkwardly. "I apologize that I hurt your feelings. I was just stating what I thought to be factual, but I won't call him the angry one again."

"Oh, okay." I felt a little better and showed a tentative smile. "Thank you."

"Yeah, I guess." She stood with a wince. "Saying 'I guess' is a part of my echolalia. I am not indifferent toward the situation."

I nodded quickly. "I know."

"Oh, okay." She nodded with me. "I'm going to breathe in the bathroom with my inhaler before we leave."

"Okay," I called after her, dropping my wave when I realized she couldn't see me doing it. I slowly turned to face the others with a relieved sigh. "She wants to get coffee."

Hoseok smiled at me softly. "What are we waiting for then, sweetheart? Let's get coffee."

With a grin, I hurried over to claim a kiss from my men, glancing toward Jimin's room before running to grab my purse, all the while hoping that Jimin was okay.

Notes:

To everyone who's still reading this monstrous fic of over 400k words, I appreciate you so much 😭 I have a lot of chapters ready in advance, so I'm currently writing an ending to this story. It will be missed🥲 For anyone still reading or has made it up to this point, (thank you!!!!) do you have anything you'd want to see for a future fic? More OT7 reverse harem?? Something different? What kind of vibe? Let me know 😋

Chapter 60: Strawberry Matcha

Summary:

Sips of Strawberry Matcha, overstimulation, and a nice talk with Jimin.
Featuring Kenley's rapidly growing obsession with Monopoly.

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ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

We went to my favorite and usual coffee shop.

Kenley wore professional business attire and her hair slicked back in a tight, mid-high ponytail. Wearing knee-high boots, a skirt just above her knees, and a full face of makeup, I sneaked glances at her every so often in pure awe.

She radiated the essence of a true businesswoman, and nothing was out of place.

Except for me. I felt very out of place beside her.

"Kenley," I tried to converse. "I like how you styled your hair, and I really like your makeup."

Her weary eyes were on me in seconds. "You're saying you don't like my outfit if you are saying you like everything else?"

"Oh! No, no," I refuted quickly. "I like your outfit too, but I really liked your makeup and hair."

She mulled this over, taken aback. "Oh. Thank you, I guess, Faeryn." She gave me a one over. "You always wear your hair down."

"Oh, I..." I touched it absently, suddenly embarrassed. "A lot of hairstyles mess with my sensory issues."

"I didn't say it looked bad. I made a statement." She hesitated. "It was meant to be a compliment."

"Right." I clutched my purse. "I misread it. I'm sorry."

"I misread things all the time." She looked at me from the corner of her eye. "It doesn't make me incompetent."

"No," I agreed, feeling a little better. "We're not incompetent. We're independent and make our own decisions."

She glanced at me as we moved up in line, my men stationed behind us. Lowering her voice, she wondered, "How do you make your own decisions when you're having a verbal shutdown? Is that not dangerous to be at the hands of someone else entirely?"

"Well, not entirely?" I said uncertainly. "My men and I have talked about what to do during verbal shutdowns, like what is and isn't okay to do, so those are all of my independent choices. They don't stray from them, and they're so kind to help me."

"I see." She leaned in closer when something outside the window caught her eye, and I stiffened. She immediately noticed and shifted back. "I saw a squirrel climbing on the window." She cleared her throat, turning a bit red at sharing that information. "It does not matter." She glanced at me. "I didn't mean to get that close to you, but I thought you didn't mind physical touch. You don't mind it from your men."

"Oh, uh, yes." I cleared my throat. "That's because I'm dating them."

"Physical touch from anyone else is uncomfortable for you?"

I weighed my hands up and down. "Kind of? It's okay from my friends, but sometimes, it can overstimulate me. That can even happen with my men too, so...I think it just depends on how I'm feeling."

"I see. And," she concurred. "I understand. I don't like physical contact either. Except, I don't like it from anyone." She grunted thoughtfully. "Except from animals."

Seeing a conversation opportunity, I took advantage of it hopefully. "Do you have any pets?"

"Yes. A dog and a bunny."

"Oh, really? That's really great! What are their names?"

"Francisco and Tù."

My smile grew. "That's Chinese for rabbit."

Surprised, she nodded. "Do you speak Chinese?"

"I grew up eating at  Chinese restaurant next to my house all the time, so I picked up a few phrases and words." I smiled fondly as I thought of the owners. "My family and I were close with the owners, so we wanted to communicate with them. I uh...actually went back to America where I'm from a few weeks ago, and I saw the owners again."

"You used to live in America?" she asked, startled. "You can speak English?"

"Yeah. My Dad was Korean, and my mom was Korean American."

"Whose parents did you live with when they died?"

I flinched. "My Dad's. My mom's parents died before I was born."

She frowned. "There is a lot of death in your family."

My smile was more of a grimace. "So, do you speak Chinese?"

"Yes." She cocked her head. "Why are you uncomfortable?"

"What?"

"You changed the topic; you're uncomfortable. That's how the conversation formula works."

I blinked. "Oh, I..." My shoulders slumped as we moved up in line. "Yeah, I am."

"Why?" she wondered, bewildered.

I shifted in place. "We were talking about my...family, and it makes me sad, and the way you talk about it makes me feel uncomfortable."

She assessed. "Is it because I'm blunt?"

"I think so. There's..." I paused. "I don't want to sound rude."

"It's fine. I prefer honesty without any sweetness lining it."

I nodded slowly. "You don't use a lot of empathy when you talk."

"Oh. Yes, that's true. I struggle with it, like my childhood doctor said." She squinted. "It makes you uncomfortable?"

"Yeah. You're talking about my family's death like you're talking about the weather."

"I talk about facts factually."

"Okay," I countered hesitantly. "But when you're talking about something painful, it can be hurtful."

Her brows furrowed as she digested this information. "Why?"

"Well...because people want to feel comforted when talking about something painful, and only speaking facts can feel dismissive of their feelings."

She lifted one shoulder in thought. "I don't want to hurt your feelings."

I glanced at her, slightly deterred by her unrelenting eye contact. "That's really great."

"You say that a lot," she noted. "Because of echolalia."

I nodded. "Echolalia can be a lot sometimes."

"Yes. I knew about it from a young age because my father took me to the doctor when I wouldn't stop repeating words." She grunted. "It got me into trouble at school because the teachers assumed I was mocking them."

"Yeah," I said with a quiet sigh. "A lot of people assume that." Curiously, I wondered, "What are your echolalia phrases right now?"

"I guess," she confirmed. "It's my go-to. It gets annoying when I can't stop saying it. It makes my sentences sound indifferent, and it's frustrating."

"Yeah," I admitted. "I say 'that's really great' even when it doesn't match the situation because I get nervous and don't know what else to say."

"Me too."

"Well," I picked back up, the two of us waiting behind three people while my men chatted behind us. "At least you know the name for it, right? It can make you feel like you're not crazy for repeating everything you hear uncontrollably. Not that you're crazy," I added quickly. "I was just saying that because I remember feeling crazy as a kid before I was officially diagnosed for always repeating everything."

She jutted her chin in agreement. "It gets exhausting, too. I tend to overstimulate myself."

I nodded quickly. "Me too. I literally can't stop sometimes, and that's usually when I'm already overwhelmed, so echolalia is brought out to try and regulate me, but sometimes, it makes it worse."

She sighed. "I know how that feels."

"Well...at least it's nice to have people who relate." I showed a tentative smile. "Right?"

She hummed, mulling it over momentarily. "Right."

The line moved up, and I gestured to the menu. "You can pick any flavor and size you want for your coffee formula. Oh!" I glanced at her. "I forgot to tell you that it's cool you speak Chinese."

"Thanks, I guess. It's cool that you know a bit of it. I know Russian, too."

I gaped. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Japanese, too."

My jaw dropped. "Wow. That's really great. How did you learn all of them?"

"It's like a formula. Once you find the correct one, learning anything is easy."

My eyes sparkled. "You're so cool."

Her lips tugged until she started to smile. "Thank you. That's nice. What coffee do you usually buy?"

"It's my friend's Lyric's order," I explained. "A latte with two shots of French vanilla, two shots of toasted white chocolate, two packets of sugar, and oat milk."

"That is an interesting formula."

"It's a delicious one, too," I said cheerily.

"I don't like chocolate."

"Do you like vanilla?" I wondered. "French vanilla?"

"No. Just regular vanilla."

"They have that! What other flavors do you like?"

"I like trying new things," she told me. "I will try something new. Otherwise, I will never know everything I like, and that's upsetting."

"Ohhh," I said. "I don't like trying new things because they could mess with my senses, but...I did try going up the escalator and touching weird textures at the shop I first saw you at." I froze once the words left my mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up, but it was just—we were talking about sense, so I thought about that, and—"

"You can talk about Ryker." She sniffed, her chin tilted up as she surveyed the menu. "He was your boyfriend once."

I winced. "I wish he never was."

She scoffed. "I wish he was never my boyfriend either." She scrunched her nose. "Calling him mine in any aspect is..."

"Gross."

"Correct. Gross. Disgusting. Vomit worthy."

My lips tried pulled into a tentative smile. "Vomit worthy is a good adjective."

"We should make it a noun."

"We should?"

"Instead of calling him by his name, we'll refer to him as vomit worthy. No capital 'V'." She held her chin high. "He doesn't deserve it."

I grinned. "Good idea."

"Hmph. I know." She twisted her lips to the side. "I know what I want."

"Okay." I stood up straighter. "I want to have what you have."

She glanced at me. "Why? You don't like trying new things."

"I can be brave."

"Yes," she decided momentarily. "You can be." She pointed at a menu option. "I want the strawberry matcha latte."

My nose crinkled. "Matcha?"

"You said you would be brave."

My brows tugged together indignantly. "I will, but matcha isn't coffee."

"Well, but, it's what I want."

"How about I get coffee, you get matcha, and we get two extra cups so we can share?"

She buzzed slightly, pleased with the compromise. "Good idea."

I beamed. "Thank you."

Once we ordered, we moved to the side so my men could order. They watched Kenley and me interact, but they gave us space, following through with the agreements during our earlier conversation. Jimin's absence was sorely evident to me, but he refused to come; Namjoon's grim expression when he left his room relayed his answer before he told me.

I hoped his anger would calm once we returned, allowing us to talk more in depth about our argument. I desperately wanted things to return normal between us again, and even if we weren't currently neck deep in an argument, the tension needed to be eased, and waiting to ease it left me with a continual tickle of torture in my gut.

While we waited for my men, Kenley and I sat side-by-side at a table with our chairs pulled slightly apart for personal space.

We each poured a pinch of our drinks into the empty cups and prepared our straws.

"On three?" I suggested.

"Three," she responded.

We sipped the samples and immediately assessed.

"Gross," I decided.

"Disgusting," she concurred.

"Vomit worthy," we said simultaneously.

I giggled. "You can have the matcha."

"You can have the coffee."

"I knew you wouldn't like this one," I told her. "Because it has toasted white chocolate, but I really wanted to get it because it's my favorite."

"At least you're aware your dislike of matcha was well placed."

"It tasted like strawberry weeds," I decided.

"You take weed?"

"No," I defended with wide eyes. "Weeds you pull from the ground."

"Weed comes from the ground, Faeryn."

"No! I mean, yes, but I meant troublesome weeds that grow around plants." I paused when I noticed her smirk. "But you knew that."

She hid her smirk in a large sip of matcha. "Of course I did. I am, after all, competent."

I laughed a little. "Yeah. You've told me."

"And it's true."

"I know. I'm competent, too." I traced the coffee's condensation. "Do you like nails?"

"Um, yes, I like how I have fingernails."

"Oh, no, that's not what I meant." I blushed. "I meant if you like acrylic nails or painting your nails. I thought just now that it would look really cool with your outfit and makeup."

"Yeah, once in a while." She sat up a little straighter. "Um, you think that it would look good with my outfit?" Uncertainly, she looked at her hands, and after a moment, she tentatively pushed one out to me. "Which...color, do you think?"

"Oh!" I lit up, eager to discuss. "I think that a pretty dark blue would match with your outfit. Maybe you could even add a design to match the stitches in your shirt!"

"Really?" She looked at her nails, squinting as she attempted to picture it. She gave up after a moment. "I'm not good at visualizing things, but maybe it could look good. Um. Thank you for telling me that. You were being...nice? I'm not sure if it was a backhanded compliment because maybe you thought my real nails look bad and need acrylic nails to fix my appearance."

My lips parted with surprise, and I shook my head quickly. "No, I really meant it! I don't like backhanded compliments; they confuse me, too."

She relaxed a bit. "Yes, they are very confusing." We were quiet for a moment until she jolted. "I have to ask you if you've ever had acrylic nails; it's part of the conversation formula: ask the same thing someone else asks you. If not, I'm impolite."

"It's okay," I assured her. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I don't think it makes you impolite."

"Um...really?" Her nose wrinkled. "Oh. I see. I will...remember that for our conversation formula." She scratched her wrist. "Well, I already asked about the acrylics, and I'm curious now."

"Okay!" I agreed readily. "I've never had acrylics, but I had my nails painted, and the nail tech added super pretty gems."

"Hm. Do you have a picture?"

"Oh! Yeah!" I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my photos. "I'll get it." I peeked at her. "Do you have a photo of your acrylic nails?"

"Yeah."

"Can I see?"

"Okay." She retrieved her phone. "I'll find it." Pushing forward, she sipped through her straw as she located the photos, and I copied her.

"What's going on here?" Namjoon asked, and I looked up to see him and the others approaching. He wore a small, watchful smile. "Two extra cups?"

I pulled my lips off of the straw. "Yeah! We were trying each other's drinks, but we didn't like them."

"At least you know now," Jungkook said cheerily, plopping down on the seat beside me. "Can I try the matcha?"

I pushed it toward him. "Yeah, sure!"

He kissed my cheek. "Thanks!"

The others sat down, pulling up extra chairs to compensate.

"What are you looking for?" Taehyung asked. "On your phones?"

"Nails," I revealed. "Well, acrylic and painted nails."

"Ooh, that's nice," he encouraged. His eyes flickered towards Kenley, and with a slightly strained smile, he asked, "Do you get acrylic nails?"

She slowly looked at him. "Yes. Why?"

"I was just asking."

Unsure, she wondered, "Why?"

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "To make conversation."

She carefully set her phone down and slid it to me. As I looked at her previous acrylics, she responded to Taehyung, "Okay. I...yes, I do get acrylic nails. I am showing Faeryn now. Um..." She glanced at me. "Faeryn, you can show Taehyung." She blinked, paused, and added, "If you want to."

I nodded quickly and pushed her phone out toward Taehyung, giving him a big smile. "See?"

He returned my smile just as big. "They're a great color and design," he complimented.

The compliment seemed to confuse Kenley, and she did something between a nod and shake of her head. 

Jungkook peeked over my shoulder at Kenley's phone. "Wow, those are pretty nails." He noticed her strawberry matcha. "Do you like strawberries a lot?"

"Yes," she responded. "Thank you, um, Taehyung and Jungkook for liking my nails. Strawberries remind me of The Beatles."

"Beatles?"

"The band," she explained. "They have a song called 'Strawberry Fields'."

"Faeryn likes strawberries, too," he said proudly. "She has a strawberry cup."

"I do," I confirmed just as proudly. "It has a bumpy handle with 3D seeds. Jimin gave it to me."

"What a nice thing for him to do, even when he is so angry," she stated.

Taehyung choked on his coffee, and Yoongi patted his back.

"Kenley," I said quietly.

Confusion seeped into her features. "Did I say something to hurt your feelings?"

"You said you wouldn't call him angry anymore."

"I said I wouldn't call him the angry one anymore." She blinked. "I...don't understand. He is angry, so I said so. I said I wouldn't call him the angry one, and I didn't."

"He isn't always angry," I defended him.

"Since I've met him, he has been, so for me, yes he is."

I began to speak in his defense before faltering. "Well," I mumbled. "Since you met him, I guess, but he's not always like that. He's kind, and good, and I love him." I took a deep breath. "He means the world to me, just like all of my men do."

"I guess," she agreed off-handedly. "You wouldn't date him if he was angry. He would remind you too much of Ryker."

I blinked. "Does he remind you of Ryker?"

"No. His anger is different, but if he's angry all the time, it would have the same effect that Ryker's anger does, I assume."

"What do you mean?"

"Walking on egg shells," she explained. "Not being able to have a full conversation with him, and getting further and further away from how it was at the beginning of the relationship. Anger ruins things."

Jin took over when he saw the worry sketched on my expression. "Ryker is an angry man; Jimin is angry. It's a drastic difference, Kenley. Don't make assumptions toward people you've known for a few days." For my sake, he added, "Please."

I breathed a little easier as his words and politeness toward Kenley sunk in. "Yeah, he's right. There's a difference."

"Okay," Kenley responded, taking her phone back. "Let me see your picture. Um, please."

I pushed my phone toward her. "See? Gems."

"Yes, I see them."

"Do you like them?"

"Not for me." She studied my face. "Did I hurt your feelings again?"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "No. Jimin's just not always angry."

"I was making an observation."

"You can. It's okay. But...you'll get to know him better once he's calmed down, and you'll see."

"Okay." She nodded. "I like the gems for you. They look nice. But not for me. I prefer acrylics." She looked at my phone closer. "Jimin is texting you."

I grabbed my phone quickly and brought it to my face eagerly.

I put my phone down, smiling to myself.

Kenley analyzed my expression. "Has he stopped being angry?"

I jumped, remembering where I was. "Oh! He's feeling better, but he's going to grab lunch." Proudly, I stated, "We're having a talk later."

She tensed. "A talk?"

"Yeah, probably to talk about everything and resolve anything that needs resolving. You know."

Her shoulders hunched slightly, and her tension creeped away. "Oh. That kind of talk."

"What talk did you think I meant?" I wondered curiously.

"The bad kind," she said under her breath. "Ryker's favorite kind."

My heart sank. "I'm sorry."

"You had those talks, too. It's fine."

"It isn't fine," I responded, upset but more so concerned. "Maybe Jimin's angry, but he would never do anything like Ryker did to us. His anger protects people he cares about; it doesn't hurt them."

"That is a good kind of anger," she concluded quietly, stirring the dissipating strawberry foam around her matcha. "I enjoy matcha. I'm going to ask for more strawberry foam. Goodbye."

She walked to the front register, and my eyes trailed after her before shifting to my men.

"I keep bringing Ryker up accidentally," I revealed, pained.

"It's not your fault," Hoseok reassured me. "Subconsciously, I'm sure you're both thinking of how you dated him. It's something you both have in common, as terrible as it is. You're each other's reminders, so the topic might come up because of that."

I blinked. "Yeah, that's...yeah. That makes sense."

"I'm glad it does, sweetheart." He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "Try not to worry. The more you and her speak about different topics, the less he'll come up, especially after she takes the footage of him and gains her parents belief. Even if," he added, upset, "she shouldn't have to do that."

I nodded somberly. "I know. I hope her parents believe her."

He patted my hand. "How's your coffee?"

"Good." I took another sip. "Matcha is gross."

He chuckled. "It's not my favorite either."

Jungkook sipped the empty sample of matcha, smiling toothily. "I love it."

I giggled. "You can have it."

Kenley returned with extra strawberry foam, nearly tipping out of the cup. "They gave me extra for free. Customers can get one free refill if they drink in-store."

I smiled widely. "That's really great."

"Yeah, I guess." She sat down. "Can we talk about the lease yet?"

"Oh yeah." I nodded. "Do you want to talk about it here?" I looked at my men. "That's okay?"

"It's your decision," Jin responded. "You can talk about it here, but keep your voices down and don't speak of any locations in case anyone is listening."

"Yeah," I confirmed. "That's true." I turned my chair slightly toward Kenley. "I have a copy of the lease on my phone. Do you want to look through it and ask if you have any questions? Jin and I made the adjustments already."

She accepted my phone and read carefully. A few minutes passed, and she turned to me. "You won't live there?"

I shook my head. "I'm going home." I gestured to my men. "With them. I've been wanting to for a while, and I asked a few weeks ago, but things got busy, and then...well, you know."

"I know." She turned her gaze back to the lease. "Ryker doesn't know where you live, correct?"

"No, no, he doesn't know."

"That's good." She jostled her knee repeatedly. Eventually, she revealed. "I've never lived alone."

"It's not too bad," I attempted to reassure her. "Background noise on your phone is helpful. Maybe a YouTube video or podcast."

"Do you have locks on your doors?"

"And cameras," I agreed. "Only on the outside though. It's a doorbell camera."

She exhaled. "That's really great."

We looked at each other.

I pointed out, "Your echolalia copied my echolalia."

"Yeah." She sipped her matcha. "That's what echolalia does."

I sipped my coffee. "Yeah."

She continued reading the lease. "Will you ever stop by your apartment unannounced?"

"No, I'll take all of my things with me later today so I won't have to go."

"All right, so it is just every week to check that your apartment is in good condition."

I nodded.

"All right," she agreed. "You will come every week on Friday night after work from 6-7 PM as the lease states."

"Yeah."

"Is the lease subject to change at any time or if I have to stay longer than a month for any reason?"

"Um...unless you breach the lease, then no," I said after careful thought. "I don't see why it would change."

"Hm. That is good." She gave me my phone. "We can go to the library to print a copy. Then I can sign."

"Good idea. Do you want to go after this?"

"I want to go now and get our drinks to go. It will make switching tasks easier and not as difficult."

Jungkook's lips parted. "I do that, too; task breakers. The drink makes it easier to transition into the next task for you?"

"Yes," she responded matter-of-factly. "Are you Autistic?"

"Oh. I...no." He faltered, suddenly flustered. "I don't want to say."

"That's fine." She stood. "Can we go? Those who want to stay can stay, can't they? Faeryn and I can go."

"We will all go," Jin instructed. "There is no rush."

"I didn't say there was," Kenley said, suddenly upset. "I'm so tired of everyone misinterpreting my words."

"To be fair," Taehyung responded, "you do the same with us."

She looked at him, surprised. "What?"

"You keep saying you're not incompetent, and we haven't once said or thought you are."

She paused to consider. "Your words...point to it."

"That isn't true," Namjoon corrected. "You're projecting your past experiences onto us, believing we'll treat you how others have."

"I am not in a rush," she decided. "I asked if we can go to the library. That is all."

"All right. Your hasty actions and speech said otherwise."

"I don't lie," she insisted. "Hastiness and actions can't speak; I speak, and my words didn't rush you. I don't understand," she blurted. "This is—I'm—this is a lot, and I am overwhelmed! Speech formulas for eight new people is so hard to figure out, and I—I'm getting very tired."

"It's okay," I cut in quickly, trying to reassure her. "We're all acting on pattern recognition, but from now on, we can just ask instead of state facts. That will work, right?"

Kenley breathed heavily and grabbed her purse. "Now I'm rushing because I want to leave this conversation."

"Thanks for communicating," I responded, hoping it would help to ease her stress.

She glanced at me, began patting her chest for comfort, and walked to get a to-go cup while avoiding eye contact with us.

I set my attention on my men. "It's okay. It was just a misunderstanding. She's just not used to us, so she's on high alert, and...I think we all are, too. We don't know her very well, and she doesn't know us very well, but we'll learn, right?"

Their smiles were tight. Mine turned into a grimace.

"Let's just go," I murmured.

꧁꧂

At the library, we edited the lease to add the clauses: rent payments won't rise under any circumstance, two weeks eviction notice required, and the lease is not subject to change at anytime unless significant damage and lack of lease agreement is followed.

Kenley asked to see my apartment afterward, and we all went, seeing it as an opportunity to pack my things.

"Will I stay here tonight?" she inquired as she looked around my apartment. "I can purchase an air mattress until I can bring my bed from my apartment on Tuesday."

"You can," I agreed, putting my clothes into a suitcase. "But you can have my bed if you're okay with using the mattress."

"Um, no thanks."

"Okay. Do you want to use the bed frame?" I wondered. "Would your mattress fit?"

"I want my bed."

"Okay." I closed my suitcase. "We can take my bed down and put it away so you can move your bed in here."

"Yes. Thank you."

We finished packing quickly, seeing as most of my belongings had been moved to home already, and I stood in the middle of my apartment to survey it. "Well," I announced. "It's all yours until your plan is complete."

"Yes," she said absently. "Until then."

"When are you planning to see Ryker?"

"Tuesday."

"Please don't do it without us," I entreated. "I know I can't stop you, and I won't, but it won't be safe."

She inspected the floor. "What is your schedule?"

"I can give you my phone number," I offered. "So we can text."

"I don't like texting."

"Calling? Or...you can let the phone ring, and I can leave you a voicemail."

She nodded carefully. "I like that idea."

We exchanged phone numbers, and I took my time showing her where everything was in the apartment, including canned, frozen food, and bagged snacks.

"Do you want to stay here?" I wondered after a while. "Or do you want us to go?"

"I...have never lived alone before."

"I know." I looked around. "I actually have Monopoly here."

Her head tilted to the side, almost like an excited puppy. "The bankrupt game."

I grinned. "Do you want to do strategize with me? You might get the number of hotels you wanted last time."

She looked at me expectantly. "Where is it? I want to strategize, and I want to be the bank. I can be the bank, correct?"

"Yup!" I motioned her over to the living room. "It's in the cabinets."

We spread out on the floor, and while Kenley claimed she needed to use the bathroom before being completely ready for the long game, my men entered the living area. They'd been giving Kenley and I space, but with her taking a break, they arrived from the kitchen.

Namjoon crouched down in front of me while the others remained standing. He brushed a few strands of hair from my face. "Where do you want us, baby?"

I blinked at him, suddenly concerned. "Are you uncomfortable? I know my apartment is not that big. Do you feel trapped?"

"Not at all." He caressed my cheek, making me relax into his touch. "We've been in dressing rooms smaller than this for hours on end. We're completely fine."

"Do you want to stay? I don't know if Kenley wants everyone to play, but I can ask."

"You can both play," he responded kindly. "We don't always have to be involved."

"But will you be bored?" I asked worriedly. "I want you to feel welcomed and included."

"How about this?" He cupped my face, and I preened. "One of us will stay here while the rest of us bring your things back home and get dinner started? A few of us will take care of canceling our hotel reservations and collecting our things. Is it okay if one of us stays?"

"Yes," I agreed eagerly. "I want that."

"Then you'll have it." His handsome smile greeted his lips. "How would you like for Jin to stay with you? I'm sure he would like to."

I glanced at Jin for his consensus, and he nodded.

I beamed. "Yes, I want Jin to stay."

Namjoon chuckled at my eagerness. "Okay, baby. He'll stay, and the rest of us will see you at home tonight. Hm? That sound good?"

"It sounds like the best." I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you for being so kind to Kenley and giving us space."

"We should've done it sooner," he said seriously. "I'm glad you could see the progress today. We'll only get better in this area from here, we promise ."

I nuzzled into him. "You're all the best." I kissed his cheek repeatedly and moved back to claim his lips. "Thank you."

"Thank you for being patient and communicating so well with us today." He kissed me softly. "We appreciate it."

"Thank you for being patient and communicating with me too!" I kissed him for a moment longer before jumping up. "Hugs and kisses from everyone, please!"

Light, pleased laughter filled the air, and I was tugged into everyone's arms individually for hugs and kisses. We finished just as Kenley reappeared.

"I'm ready to make you go bankrupt, Faeryn," she announced firmly. "Are we allowed to snack and strategize?"

"Yeah, of course!" I motioned to the kitchen. "You can pick anything you want."

"Hm. Very nice." She brushed by my men, sidling very carefully out of their way to arrive in the kitchen.

"Everyone's leaving," I informed her. "Except for Jin."

"Yes. Okay." She scrounged around the kitchen. "I'm having popcorn."

"Okay."

She returned with the entire bag and plopped down on the floor. "Let's strategize now."

"We'll see you tonight," Jungkook told me excitedly. "Can we have a sleepover in the living room?"

I grinned giddily and turned to Jin. "Can we?"

His smile pulled through. "We can, but we'll be up early tomorrow. We sleep early."

Jungkook and I cheered, and the others smiled, happy with our happiness. Taehyung steered him away, playfully ruffling his hair and pushing him toward the door.

Sharing another round of goodbyes, I waved to my men until Jin locked the door behind them.

While Kenley and I played Monopoly—she still refused to call it playing—Jin lounged on the couch, alternating between scrolling through his phone and watching us. His anger had tremendously eased since Friday, but I could tell he wanted to talk with me one-on-one.

A few hours passed, and I felt Jin's eyes on me. Turning, I waited expectantly with knitted brows.

His eyes flickered to the time on his phone.

Dinner.

I turned to Kenley apologetically. "Kenley, dinner's ready at my home."

She frowned. "How do you know?"

"Jin told me."

"Um, no, he didn't. He hasn't said anything."

"I did," Jin rumbled. "Verbal communication isn't always necessary."

She looked at him as if he had grown two heads. "How strange." Plucking up a hotel, she placed it on a property. "We'll pause the game. I will take a photo of our properties and how much money we had so we can resume, but I can still strategize on my own."

Excited thrummed in my chest that she wanted to hang out with me again. "Okay, that's really great!" 

I helped her count our money, and once she took photos of the board, she decided she would write down our money, which properties we owned, and the number of properties we had on them.

"I have a notepad you can use," I offered.

She smirked. "Very good."

Handing it to her, I informed her, "The bus doesn't come here, but it's a ten minute walk to the nearest station."

"Yes," she said absently. "I will take it to work tomorrow."

"Okay. Well." I swung my arms idly. "I'm going now with Jin to my home."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

I waved, but her eyes were directed at the notepad as she furiously scribbled down the game status.

Outside of the apartment, I took Jin's hand and leaned my head against his side. 

He looked down at me. "We'll eat dinner and sleep." Passing his hand through my hair, his voice dipped into a murmur. "You're exhausted."

I nodded. "A little."

Lifting me into his arms, he cradled me to his chest. "Rest. I'll wake you when we're home."

I fell asleep after he buckled me in, appreciating the warmth of his hand on my thigh and the comfort of the seatbelt strapping me in.

꧁꧂

Jin woke me up an hour after my nap, settling me into the living room couch for dinner while everyone ate snacks. 

Jungkook had already set up the sleepover, beaming as he told me all about it while showing off his blanket fort.  I smiled brightly at him, although a bit drowsily, and told him how much I loved it. As soon as I finished eating, I nestled close to Yoongi and drifted closer to sleep than reality, and thirty minutes later, he murmured, "I am going to brush my teeth before bed."

I stirred fitfully, clinging to his arm. "Me too."

Lifting me easily, he carried me to the downstairs bathroom, set me on the sink, and retrieved an extra, unopened toothbrush for me. I kept falling asleep during the tooth-brushing process, and toward the end of it, he assisted me, grasping my chin gently as he gently maneuvered the toothbrush. I tried to help him brush his teeth too, but my hands were shaking too much with exhaustion, so it didn't work out well.

Smiling a small, fond smile, he gently murmured, "I will finish up. Thank you for helping."

While he brushed his teeth, I rested my head on his chest, and his steady heartbeat comforted me back to sleep. 

I woke up at 11 PM, confused and out of it in the darkness of the living room. I noted Taehyung's yarn on the couch beside me where he slept, and with only the TV's light to illuminate the living room, I took in my surroundings only to realize everyone was asleep on the couches or in the blanket fort.

Beginning to shift closer to Taehyung to share his blanket and warmth, my phone buzzed in my pocket, alerting me that it was the reason I was awake. Retrieving it blearily, I blinked down at the text message filling my screen and felt a pang shoot through me. Empathy took over me, and although exhausted, my fingers flew.

When Kenley picked up, strands of hair were falling from her ponytail, and her eyes were slightly red from exhaustion. Even so, she muted herself and immediately returned to her Monopoly game.

Following her lead, I muted myself and fumbled with Taehyung's crochet hooks and yarn before securing them. My exhausted, trembling fingers worked hard at first before they settled into the routine, and laying my head on his shoulder, I yawned every so often as I free-handed a tank top, enjoying the repetition.

Glancing at Kenley a few times, I watched her jot in her notepad and play Monopoly, her smirk coming into view when she made a winning move against herself.

I wasn't sure how long it was when I looked at my phone and saw her head resting against the couch. With her neck tilted to the side, she slept while Monopoly awaited her return.

With a small smile, I stretched, put the crochet items safely aside, and promptly fell asleep, cuddled up to Taehyung with Kenley fast asleep on FaceTime.

Notes:

I asked yall for story ideas in the last chapter and omgggg yall really came through!!!!! 🤩 I have so many good ideas lined up because of you, and I'm currently working on one about a FMC with OCD x Jungkook. One of yall had that AMAZING idea, and I literally already have 20k words written of it🤣😭 I hope to give it to you sooooon 😽 I just have to come up with a name and make a cute book cover since I cross-post on Wattpad LMAO but thank you so much to the lovely reader who gave me this idea!!!! And trustttt me, we'll have an OT7 fic coming up too 🤭

Chapter 61: Master Manipulator

Summary:

Faeryn and Jimin talk things out. Kenley returns to see Ryker with Faeryn and her men, but there's an unexpected twist.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

The next morning, I woke up to Jimin quietly exiting the living room. Stirring awake, I tried to reach for him, still half-asleep, and ended up face-planting on the couch.

Turning from the sound, a quiet, fond chuckle left him. “Faeryn?”

I huffed in response.

His quiet footsteps approached, and I sighed with relief when he lifted me into his arms.

“Jimin,” I whispered fervently, planting my face comfortably in his neck. “Missed you.”

“I missed you.” He kept his voice down for everyone else’s sake. “How did you sleep?”

I nodded. “Okay.” A yawn tore its way through me. “Our talk; we didn’t have it.”

“You were home late.” He took me into the kitchen. “We can have it today, if that works for you.” A usual hint of teasing was in his tone, and I smiled into his neck.

I pressed a kiss to his throat. “Works for me.”

“Mm.” He tilted my chin up for a kiss. “It’s a date.”

I giggled tiredly. “It’s a date.”

He grasped my chin gently, angling it side-to-side. “Honey, you’re exhausted.”

I nodded as much as I could with his hold on me. “Yeah, exhausted. But I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for our argument because I was rude and spoke for you when Namjoon asked if you were speaking facts or emotions. I shouldn’t have said that, and I’m really sorry.”

“You’re okay, baby,” he said softly, kissing my forehead. “I’m sorry for letting my anger get the best of me. I should’ve calmed down and found a way to clear my head.” He squeezed the back of my neck reassuringly. “Do you forgive me?”

I nodded quickly, squeezing him as tightly as I could. “Of course I do,” I said assiduously. “Do…you forgive me?”

“Of course I do,” he murmured, brushing his lips against mine. “How could I ever not forgive my sweet girl?”

I buried my face in his neck and clung to him, kissing around it repeatedly. “I love you,” I told him earnestly, whining when a yawn escaped me. “Jimin.”

“What is it, honey?” He soothed his hand up and down my back. “Are you still tired? Oh, poor thing. You can sleep for another few hours; the comeback training can relax for one day.”

“Really?” I snuggled back up to him. “I want to do that.”

“Then you can.” He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, honey.” He patted my back gently, resorting to a comforting rub as he held me all throughout the kitchen during his breakfast making and tea brewing. Half asleep in his arms, I hummed frequently and quietly as I eased into a peaceful state of mind.

“Good morning.” Jin’s morning voice sounded from the kitchen’s entrance.

I couldn’t lift my face, too tired to, but my little hums were audible enough.

Jimin responded in a low tone for my sake, “She’s passing on comeback training today.”

“She can,” Jin confirmed, closer than before. “One of us will make time to pick her up for her shift.” His hand warmed my shoulders and back. “Sleep, Faeryn. We’ll leave a note on the table if we leave before you wake up.”

As Jin poured himself a cup of coffee and he conversed with Jimin, my grip on the latter loosened as I fell asleep, enjoying the aftermath of our easy communication. It made forever cemented and fallible; my forever with seven men who were willing to communicate and work with me.

꧁꧂

 

Lunch came at work, and as my men, Lyric, and Jaehyun sat around our usual table, I filled Lyric in on our weekend with Kenley while the guys talked with Jaehyun about one of his upcoming parties. Jaehyun teased and insisted until they agreed to come on Saturday.

With a gasp, Lyric turned to me. “We should have our own party.”

“Our own party?” I echoed.

“Yes!” she squealed. “You, me, Cheverie, and Kenley.”

My protein shake paused before my lips. “I don’t think Kenley likes parties.”

“You’ll never know until you ask,” she said in a sing-song voice, adding a wink. “Come on! It could be fuuuuuun.”

“Mm…” I twisted my lips. “I can ask, but she’s going through a lot this week. We have to get her things from her apartment tomorrow, and she’s going to see Ryker to get evidence. I…don’t know if she’ll want to have a party after all of that.”

“Shit.” Lyric frowned. “Maybe we’ll change gears.”

“What do you mean?”

“A girl’s night. Remember? That’s what Chev and I did for you when you were sad about not asking to live with your harem.”

This caught my men’s attention, and they turned to look at me.

“Sweetheart,” Hoseok murmured. “Is that why you were sad on the phone that night?”

I blushed and nodded. “But I asked you now, so it’s okay.”

From beside me, Yoongi offered his hand beneath the table, and I took it for a tight squeeze.

“My point still stands,” Lyric persisted. “It made her feel better. Does Kenley have friends? Maybe we can invite them, too.”

“She said she doesn’t hang out with her friends unless they’re studying, so I’m…not sure if they’re actually her friends?”

Lyric made a face. “Well, that sucks. Never mind. Don’t ask her to bring her “friends”.”

“I’ll ask her about the girls’ night toward the end of the week,” I decided. “After everything, but only depending on how everything goes.” I hummed, slightly distressed. “She might be too overwhelmed to even think about a girls’ night.”

Lyric squeezed my shoulders. “Okay, it’s okay. We’ll ask depending on how the week goes, but hey. This weekend or not, the offer still stands.”

I smiled weakly. “Okay.” Changing the topic, I wondered, “Does Cheverie have late classes again tonight?”

“No, why?”

“I…well, I was wondering if we could have a girls’ night tonight because you both seem to be getting along better.” I quickly added, “But if that’s not true, I don’t want to, because I don’t want to intervene and break Cheverie’s boundary.”

“Ohhh, yeah, that boundary.” Lyric grinned sheepishly. “You can come over for a girl’s night. We’re…cool.”

Unconvinced, I pressed, “Really?”

“Uh, yeah! Our situationship status has been elevated to only yelling at each other when we’re stressed out from work or school.”

“Oh. Well…that’s good, I think.” I blinked. “Will you both be stressed out from work or school tonight?”

“Nah! Since she’s off early, she’ll have had time to decompress, and I have an easy workload, which is surprising for a Monday, so I’m in a fantastic mood.” She wiggled her brows. “Girl’s night?”

I beamed. “Girl’s night.” I froze. “Wait.”

She raised her brows. “What?”

I glanced at Jin. “You said you wanted to talk about what Lohee said.”

“We will,” Jin responded, understanding my concern. “We’ll find the time to.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “Okay. I just…I know that you wanted to talk about it.”

“And we will. For tonight, I want you to relax with your friends. Yes? Does that sound agreeable?”

I sighed with relief. “Yes, that’s really great. Thank you, Jin.” I gave him a big, grateful smile that he returned. I turned to Lyric. “Girls’ night?”

She squealed into a big hug. “Girls’ night!”

꧁꧂

Our girls’ night was easy going and fun, and Cheverie was in charge of the music, favoring Chappell Roan like our first girls’ night.

The next morning, while the three of us ate breakfast, Lyric pointed at my phone. “Someone’s texting you, Fae.”

I peeked over through a mouthful of French Toast. Hurrying to grab it, I jolted up. “No, no, no.”

“What is it?” Lyric and Cheverie asked, surprised at my sudden state after the last twenty minutes of grogginess.

“Kenley,” I breathed out, hurrying to grab my bag. “She’s going to our old apartment in an hour, and I’m not dressed. I have to text the guys, but they might not be able to come since they’re practicing for their comeback.”

“Shit,” Lyric said, wide-eyed. “Fae, you can’t go by yourself. It’s not safe!”

“I can’t let her go by herself, and I don’t think she’ll wait,” I stressed. “I know the guys won’t want me to go alone, but I don’t want Kenley to go alone.”

Cheverie and Lyric exchanged a glance.

“We’ll go with you,” Lyric decided, chucking her spoon into the sink as she stood. “I’ll punch his face in if he tries anything.”

“I’ll go with both of you,” Cheverie concurred, standing with a decisive nod. “Four of us is more than one bitchy ex.”

I breathed heavily as I sorted through my bag to find my change of clothes. “Do you think I have time to brush my teeth? I have to text the guys and Kenley. I—”

“Fae, did you hear what we said?”

“The guys might not even respond if they’re in a meeting,” I fretted. “If I text them where I’m going and they get it after their meeting, they’ll be so worried. I don’t want to be the cause of that.”

“Fae?”

I yanked my bag up too hard and stumbled, toppling onto my back.

“Fae,” Lyric stressed, hurrying forward to help me up. “Hey, hey, let’s just take a breath.”

“I can’t,” I stressed, rubbing my head and scrambling to stand. “I have to make sure that Ryker doesn’t hurt Kenley.”

“This doesn’t all fall on you,” Cheverie reminded me, standing beside Lyric and me.

“There’s no one else for it to fall on,” I insisted, grabbing my clothing and racing into the bathroom.

“Chev,” Lyric prompted, sounding upset.

“Be dressed in five,” Cheverie responded, and I heard them enter their rooms while I changed in the bathroom, managing to multitask and text Kenley and my men.

Five minutes was enough to look presentable and splash enough cold water on my face to wake up. When the clock struck 6 AM, the three of us met at the front door.

“Okay, Fae,” Lyric said, out of breath from running around. “What’s the plan?”

“We pick up Kenley.” I pulled my shoes on, tilting back slightly in my hurry and thanking Cheverie when she steadied me. “After that, we take her to our old apartment where Ryker will be moving out. If he tries anything with her, we’ll go up and pretend to record him,” I added. “I know it’s illegal, so don’t actually record, but if he thinks we’re recording, his ego won’t allow him to hurt us.”

“Because others could see who he really is,” Cheverie confirmed grimly. “Fuck him.”

“It’s good for us,” Lyric huffed. “A little life hack against that egotistical, small-dicked man.”

I opened the door. “We have to go.”

Cheverie pulled me back. “If anything happens, we’re calling the police.”

“We can’t,” I refuted, startled. “The law won’t be involved. This is only to give Kenley proof for her parents.”

“If any of our safety is compromised, we’re calling the police,” she reiterated. “You can leave the scene, but we’ll call.”

My chest heaved. “No. I…no, I don’t want the police to be involved.”

“This involves us too, so if it’s not safe, we need to call them.” She grabbed my shoulder, keeping me from leaving. “Faeryn.”

My eyes stung. “Please don’t call the police.”

“You can’t always avoid getting legal involved.”

“I did it before,” I insisted tearfully.

“Right now isn’t before. Right now is right now.” She squeezed my shoulder. “We’ll make sure we do everything to keep from calling them, and maybe your harem will show up to prevent that from being necessary.”

My chin wobbled. “They’ll be so upset with me for going without them.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Because I’m putting my safety at risk, and if they were there, Ryker would immediately stand down. But with just us, I…I don’t think he will.” I stood as tall as I could. “Which is why we fake record, but that’s only if he tries something with Kenley. We’ll yell from our hiding spots and goad him on, saying we recorded the whole thing. If he tells the authorities we recorded him even though we didn’t, he has no proof, so they can’t do anything to us.”

Cheverie nodded slowly. “You’ve thought about this.”

“I don’t want the law involved. Kenley does later on, but I don’t.”

“We’ll do what we can to stop it, but I can’t guarantee that we won’t call the police.”

Anxiety thrummed rapidly in my chest. “I…”

“You what?”

“Want my…” I swallowed roughly. “I want my home.”

“Shit,” she muttered, bringing me into a hug with plenty of back pats.

Lyric chimed in, “We’ll drop by HYBE. They’ll stop a meeting for you.”

“But they’re busy,” I whispered weakly.

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” she countered. “Haven’t they told you they’ll always have time for you? Come on. I’d be surprised if they didn’t.”

Hoseok’s words rang through my mind: “We’ll always have time for you, I need you to know that. Next time, you come find one of us. We’ll stop what we’re doing and take care of you.”

But I was independent; I could help Kenley and see Ryker on my own without my men or the police.

My high level of panic said otherwise.

My phone dinged with a text, and I fumbled for it.

 

 

 

“They’re coming,” I managed, still in a side-hug with Cheverie. “I have to text Kenley.”

“Do you want me to text her?” Cheverie asked.

“I can do it,” I insisted, struggling to breathe. “I’m independent. Texting is simple and easy, so I—I can do it.”

“You’re about to have a panic attack, see the man who abused you, and try to protect his latest victim. Sorry,” she said, raising her brows, “that you’re having difficulty doing anything other than taking deep breaths, but that’s normal, now give me your phone.”

“I can do it.”

“You’re terrified, Faeryn,” she pointed out.

“I can do it terrified.” I blinked rapidly and spewed mumbled apologies as my phone threatened to slip through my trembling fingers. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll text her.”

She crossed her arms as she and Lyric watched me text Kenley an update. I waited impatiently for a response, hoping she hadn’t run off without us, and I shuddered with relief when she texted back her unmoving status in my apartment.

“She’ll wait,” I said hoarsely.

“Okay, okay, that’s good.” Lyric shrugged off her jacket and slung it over the coat rack. “Let’s sit down.”

“I don’t need to sit down,” I denied weakly, but my wobbling knees said otherwise.

“It’s the adrenaline,” Cheverie told me. “It makes your body feel weak, but it doesn’t make you weak.”

Her words resonated and allowed me to walk to the couch.

“Your harem will be here soon,” Lyric said as she pulled me into a side-hug on the couch, patting me back quickly when I buried my face in her shoulder. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay, Fae. They won’t let anything bad happen to you, and I know Chev and I won’t either. Friends protect friends, and boyfriends protect girlfriends.”

“Girlfriends protect boyfriends,” I insisted quietly.

“Yeah, of course,” she agreed. “It’s like a big, happy circle of being taken care of.”

I nodded. “Can I hold your hand?”

“What? You don’t have to ask me that, Fae!” She grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. “Does the pressure help like it does for your chest?”

“Yeah,” I croaked.

“Let’s just try and focus on things you can count, like Namjoon said,” she advised. “I saw his text. Plus, HYBE isn’t far from here. They’ll be here soon.”

“She’s right,” Cheverie agreed, sitting on the other side of me. “Ryker doesn’t stand a shit-chance at doing anything.”

Like Lyric and Cheverie said, my men arrived shortly after texting me. A knock on the door alerted us to their arrival, followed by Jin’s voice, and Cheverie let them in. I looked over at them, too tired just yet to stand, but feeling intense relief. They wore angry creases in their forehead, and their bodies were taut with frustration, but their concern was more prominent than anything else.

“Hey, baby,” Namjoon greeted softly. “How are we feeling?”

My lips trembled. “Like we have to go help Kenley.”

“That’s not a feeling,” he gently corrected.

I chewed my lip frantically. “Nervous. Tired. Scared. No police.”

“All right.” He crouched down in front of where I sat curled up next to Lyric, and the latter gently eased me out into the open. “We’ll do our best to keep the authorities out of it, but even if we have to call them for whatever reason, you don’t have to be there. They don’t have to know you called.”

“Ryker will tell them,” I insisted, frightened.

“He doesn’t have proof. Do you know why that is, Faeryn?” He caressed my cheek. “You didn’t do anything wrong. He can lie all he wants to the authorities, but he has nothing on you because you’re innocent.”

“No police,” I whispered.

“We’ll do our best.” He rubbed my upper thigh. “Are you ready?”

I nodded.

“Verbally,” Jin prompted. “We need to hear you say you want to do this.”

“Ready,” I rasped.

“All right.” He nodded rigidly, pained to see me in pain, but he kept his anger contained for my sake. “Cheverie and Lyric, thank you for being here with her.”

They nodded, and Lyric wondered, “Fae, do you want us to go with you?”

I got to my feet shakily. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to anymore, and…Ryker might see so many people.”

“Yeah, probably.” She pushed out a reassuring smile. “Your harem’s here now. It’ll be okay.” She pulled me into a fierce hug. “You’ll be okay.”

“Thank you.” I looked up at Namjoon. “Kenley,” I said, my voice wavering. “We have to go.”

He breathed deeply. “I know.” Lifting me to stand, he pushed our hands together. “Hold onto me.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “I will.”

He kissed the top of my head. “We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“What about Kenley?” I entreated.

“We won’t let Ryker hurt anyone else,” he rephrased, “including Kenley.”

I sighed with relief. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for the bare minimum.”

I sniffled. “Because it makes your skin crawl?”

“Mm.” He led me to the door. “That’s right.” He looked at Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin. “Let’s get Kenley the proof she needs for her shitty parents.”

“Be safe,” Cheverie told us as we made our exit.

“We will,” Jin responded tersely.

Lyric waved, concerned. “Text me if you can after, Fae, so I know you’re okay.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

She waved faster. “Be safe.”

My men and I left, taking the elevator to the lobby.

“They were going to go with me,” I told them coarsely. “Cheverie and Lyric. I…I thought you would be mad if I went by myself because it wouldn’t be safe, even if I went with them, but I made a plan.”

Jin exhaled shortly, and the rest of my men had a similar reaction.

“Faeryn,” he spoke momentarily once we reached the doors. “Please never put yourself in a dangerous situation because you want to save someone who willingly went into one. You can’t save everyone.”

I trained my eyes on the floor, allowing Namjoon to lead me. “Would you have been mad?”

Jin sucked in a rigid breath, releasing it in the same manner. “We don’t need to speak of this now.”

“Jin,” I whispered.

He looked down at me, tense. “Yes,” he admitted succinctly, creases lining his features. “I would have been upset.”

“With me?”

“It would have been reckless,” he responded. “Dangerous. I would be upset because you knew that going into it.”

“But Jin,” I returned urgently, “when you went to see Ryker, that was dangerous, but you did it for me, and I want to do it for Kenley.”

“It’s not the same thing,” he refuted grimly. “We’re stronger than him, and he’s afraid of us. He’s not afraid of you, making you susceptible to his abuse.”

“You would be upset with me?”

His jaw ticked. “I would be more worried than upset, but yes, I would be upset with you for putting yourself in danger.”

My pulse spiked. “But it would’ve been my decision.”

“I can be upset with your decision.”

My independence felt squandered when I revealed, “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

He opened his car door for me, leaning down and tilting my chin. “Nothing bad will happen if I’m upset with you. We’ll communicate. That is all.”

I struggled to comprehend. “That’s all? No…silent treatment, or sarcasm I don’t understand, or passive aggressiveness?” Worried, I fretted, “I don’t understand those things, Jin. I don’t want you to do them to me.”

He kissed me, silencing my fears. With his lips brushing mine, he asked, “Have I ever done any of the above?”

“No,” I managed.

“Then I will not, and I never will.” His hand lowered to squeeze my hip. “We communicate. And I will never do anything that hurts you. Yes?”

I nodded tearfully. “Yes, Jin. Let’s go now. We have to help Kenley.”

“She’s safe at your apartment,” Hoseok reassured. “We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

I counted things we passed as Jin drove us, but it didn’t help my nerves. Ten minutes seemed like forever when I wasn’t sure if Kenley would decide to leave without us.

Once we arrived, Kenley was waiting outside the apartment complex, much to my devastating relief.

Entering the car, she sat awkwardly beside Namjoon. He noted her discomfort and prompted, “Would you like to sit beside Faeryn?”

Kenley nodded stiffly.

Jin waited before driving to allow Kenley and Namjoon to exit the car to resituate. From beside me, Kenley relaxed slightly but not fully.

I nibbled my lip. “Your plan is still the same?”

She nodded. “Seeing me will be enough to set him off, and I will keep my phone in my pocket to audio record.”

“And we’ll be there to step in if he does anything,” I confirmed with determination.

“Your men will,” she corrected. “You will not.”

I faltered. “What do you mean? I’m helping.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Help,” I responded uncertainly. “If he does anything, you and I can go somewhere together.”

“That is your idea of helping?”

I shrank slightly. “Yeah. It’s not good?”

“It is. It’s very good because you won’t have to be around Ryker.” She gripped her phone tightly. “That is why I wanted to go alone, but if you won’t be next to him, that’s good.”

“But you’ll be next to him,” I said, high-pitched.

She nodded curtly, and her fingers twitched. “Because this is something that I have to do. I didn’t want to drag you into this because it’s not safe, and because I know how horrible it can feel after seeing Ryker, even if you don’t talk to him, but…your men are here to protect you, and you won’t talk or be near him, so you’ll be safe.”

“We’ll protect you, too,” I insisted. “That’s why I wanted to come—because I know how true everything you just said is, and I don’t want you to get hurt either.”

She fiddled with her phone. “Yes, I understand. But I probably will. It’s okay; I’m prepared. I need it as proof so my parents will believe me.”

My heart thumped wildly, and I looked at my men for help.

“Kenley,” Namjoon spoke up, keeping his voice calm and level. “We won’t let him hurt you.”

“I will stay outside,” she responded distantly. “I picked this time to see him because it’s the busiest time at the cafe beneath the apartment. He won’t hurt me because other people will see, but that doesn’t mean he won’t hurt me verbally. That is what I’ll voice record.”

“I understand that,” Namjoon agreed with a dip of his chin. “But if he tries to take you into the apartment, we’ll be there.”

Her breath hitched, and she nodded. “Okay. I…I am a little nervous that he might hug me and use that as a way to take me into the apartment. If he hugs me, people will think he’s nice, and if I struggle, he will say loudly that I’m just playing around.”

“We’ll know he’s lying,” Namjoon said firmly. “We’ll be there.”

“Okay.” She tapped her phone sporadically, exhaling shortly. “Today will be over tomorrow.”

Tentatively, I told her, “That’s the good thing about yesterdays.”

“What is the good thing about yesterdays?”

“They only happen once.”

She struggled to take a deep breath. “Repeats happen.”

“But not exact repeats.”

“Yes,” she admitted, jostling her thigh. “Not exact repeats.”

“Then that’s the good thing about yesterdays,” I repeated more firmly than before. “Taehyung told me that.”

“The harem man with socks next to his contact information on your phone.”

I squeaked. “You saw that?”

“I looked over your shoulder when you texted him. I do that often. Because I am nosy.”

“Respect her privacy,” Jimin chided lightly from shotgun.

“Okay.” Kenley nodded. “Can I ask what is with the socks?”

“Socks make floors safe for me,” I responded easily, “and Taehyung makes so many things safe. So…socks. Plus,” I added with a blush, “he’s informally known as a sock lover now.”

“Um, that is very strange, Faeryn. I wish you had not told me that.”

“Oh! No, no, it’s nothing weird.” I waved my hands around quickly in denial. “When I had to get surgery for my elbow, anesthesia made me act weird, and, well, long story short, I called him sock lover a lot, and the name stuck.”

She looked at my elbow, and her spine straightened rigidly. “Surgery—because of Ryker?”

“Oh. Yeah, because of…him.” I tried to push out a smile. “But it’s better now.”

“It should have never been otherwise,” she said with renewed purpose. “I will make my parents believe me. After this, they will be the humiliated ones, not me.”

Ryker could be seen when we arrived, so we pulled up further away from the apartment and parked in a secluded area.

“All right,” Namjoon began, authority lacing his tone. “Kenley, you’ll get your evidence on your own like you asked for, and if anything goes wrong, stay calm. We’ll be there shortly.”

“You’ll be watching?” she asked. “Through the entirety of it?”

“We will.”

“Faeryn?” She looked at me for confirmation.

I nodded quickly. “I’ll watch; we all will.”

She exited the car. “I will be back, or you will arrive. Either way, I will see you later.”

“See you later,” I echoed as the door closed behind her.

“We’ll give her a second,” Hoseok announced. “We can see from here.”

The rest of us agreed.

Hoseok turned his attention to me. “How are you feeling, sweetheart? I know this is a lot.”

“It’s a lot more for Kenley,” I responded dismissively.

“It can still be a lot for you, too, Faeryn,” Namjoon countered. “Both things can be true.”

“She’s the priority,” I refuted.

“Maybe she’s your priority,” Jimin cut in. “But you’re ours, so answer Hoseok’s question.”

“But—”

“Honey.” He pivoted to see me. “Answer his question.”

My eyes drifted to Hoseok. “Nervous.”

Hoseok nodded his understanding. “Did counting things help?”

“No.”

“Will anything help?”

I flicked my fingers. “Today being over and successful will help.”

“All right,” he murmured. “Until then, is there anything we can do to help you?”

“No. We’re helping Kenley.”

He sighed. “Faeryn, sweetheart, what did we just say?”

“I’m not talking about this anymore.” I returned my attention to the tinted car windows to view Kenley. “We have to pay attention.”

They respected my wishes, and we watched as Kenley climbed the stairs to her apartment, where Ryker was packing his things. He turned when he saw her, and instead of being angry like I assumed he would be, his features eased into a smile.

I froze.

Kenley looked taken aback, but she didn’t let it stop her. “Hello,” I read her lips. “I’m here for my things.”

Jin lowered his window slightly, allowing us to hear the conversation.

Ryker set down a moving box with a chuckle. “I know why you’re here, Ken.”

“I’m aware.” She held her chin high. “I just told you why.”

“I knew before you did. Your eviction letter, remember?” He tutted to convey his disappointment, and she flinched. “Your parents are awfully disappointed in you, Ken, you know that? Their smart daughter, all set for law school, is now living with someone on the low end of the Autism spectrum who can’t hold a job. At this rate, you’re going to end up just like her. You’re book smart, yeah, Ken, but world smart?”

His laugh was grating and harsh. “No, far from it. That’s what you had me for; the first man besides your father to love you, and you pushed me away because you chose to believe my lying ex over me.”

He moved closer, barely a step, but Kenley reacted like he charged at her, and she stumbled back. “Your parents are so certain that I’m the only man who will ever love you—the people who birthed you, Ken. They’re on my side, so why aren’t you?”

She struggled to find a response, and he took advantage of her silence, continuing, “You can have your apartment back. I’m a different man now, Ken. I have a high-paying job and an expensive apartment.” He pushed his face inches from hers, and I watched her choke on a failed breath. “You can have your shitty apartment that smells like the cafe’s pastries and trash, work your administrative job for the rest of your life, and drop out of college because you won’t be able to afford it without your parents and me.”

She finally found her words to retort, “You never helped pay for me.”

“Ah, but that was the old Ryker.” His teeth shone cruelly. “The new Ryker has more money than he needs, and when you realize what a mistake you’ve made by pushing away the only man who will ever love you, you’ll come crawling back. But be careful, Ken.” He lifted the box and began walking down the stairs, calling over his shoulder, “I might not wait around for you when there are so many beautiful women vying for my attention, and by then, your ties with your parents will be unrepairable.”

“You don’t know anything about my parents!” she exclaimed, her fingers turning white from the fists they’d become.

He laughed, and I instinctively covered my ears. Namjoon squeezed my thigh and brought me closer to him, swiftly unbuckling my seatbelt to allow it.

“Don’t I?” he returned mockingly. “Who do you think got me my new job and apartment?”

My blood ran cold just as Kenley paled.

“What?” she asked.

“Come on, Ken,” he drawled. “You know how much I hate repeating myself.”

“My parents didn’t help you,” she insisted.

“Sure, Ken. Why don’t you ask them when they get here with the moving van?”

Her features slackened with horror and denial. “No.”

“Oh, yes,” he said with an annoying amount of cheerfulness. “Give it five minutes.”

At that moment, a truck pulled up, and Ryker’s smile deepened. “Would you look at that? They’re here early.”

Kenley couldn’t move from her spot.

“He’s not going to hurt her,” I pushed the words out, sick to my stomach. “Not like we thought he was going to.”

Her parents exited the truck with a few workers, greeting Ryker with pleasantries. They didn’t realize Kenley’s presence until Ryker looked at her. As soon as they saw her, her father boomed, “Are you here to apologize?”

Kenley’s pale features burned with humiliation, and mine burned with indignation.

“We have to do something,” I insisted.

“There is nothing to stop.” Jin kept a close eye on Ryker. “Not yet.”

“Not yet?” I demanded. “Jin, they’re humiliating her!”

“He’s right,” Hoseok agreed solemnly. “It will cause her more humiliation if we help.”

Namjoon rubbed my thigh reassuringly. “This isn’t our battle to fight, Faeryn. This is hers.”

“She shouldn’t have to fight alone,” I stressed my point.

“Sometimes,” Jin said gravely, “we have to.”

I didn’t get a chance to respond when Kenley spoke. “I am not here to apologize,” she informed her parents. “I am here to collect my things.”

Her father disapproved, “And move in with that receptionist? Honestly, Kenley, I figured you would have arrived at your senses, but this is a disappointment. I expected more from you.”

“Kenley,” her mother bribed. “Come down and apologize. We can figure things out, and you can move in with Ryker at his new apartment. He has a job now, something that was a strain in your relationship, so I know you can both work it out.”

“Why?” Kenley demanded, her voice breaking towards the end. “Because no one else is capable of loving me?”

“He is a good man,” her mother said sternly. “You are a good woman. You both fit the mold.”

“He is not a good man!” Kenley shouted, surprising her parents. “And with access to more money than he needs, he’ll be even worse, and that will be your fault.”

“Kenley, hush,” her father reprimanded harshly. “You’re acting like an incompetent child.”

She twitched, jolted, and screamed, “I am not incompetent! I am a grown woman, and this man is not a good one. I hope you will be so embarrassed when the truth is revealed.”

She stormed down the stairs, gripping the rail when each step was shaky. When her mother tried to reach for her, Kenley smacked her hand away and ground out, “Don’t touch me.”

“We’ll call the college,” her father called after her. “Revoke your scholarship and leave a bigger bill for you. Do not underestimate our support.”

“This doesn’t feel like support,” was her strained response.

“You’re going to be like Faeryn, then?” her father pressed angrily. “Regress enough to be a low-functioning Autistic who can’t do anything for themselves?”

My men tensed, and Jimin reached for the door handle.

Kenley whipped around and ground her shoes into the cobblestone. Even with her back to me, I knew she was making unrelenting eye contact with her father.

“I don’t know much about Autism,” she said heatedly. “But that is a horrible thing to say. If Faeryn was low functioning and needed help to function, then so be it. It wouldn’t be her fault for being born with that level of Autism, just like it isn’t anyone’s fault for being born with Autism. We might not be what society wants us to be or what our fathers want us to be, but we are still people, so how dare you belittle us.”

My chest swelled with pride mingled with pain, and I barely noticed Jin refrain Jimin from leaving the car.

“We are people before we are Autistic,” she continued at full force. “I am your daughter before Ryker is anything to you, but you help him—a stranger—over your flesh and blood. Autism is not a disease, but maybe you are.”

“Kenley Cheong, you will apologize this instant for speaking to me in this manner!” he bellowed, his face red with anger.

She held her chin high, even when she trembled forcefully. “Cut me off, father.” She turned. “I will find my own way in life like Faeryn did.”

“The receptionist?!”

“Who is loved and paid well and has a home,” she snapped, turning to glare at him. “Yes. The receptionist.”

“You talked ill of her before,” her mother pointed out nearly frantically, trying to get her point across. “When you knew better.”

“I should never have spoken ill of her,” Kenley said. “And maybe I didn’t agree with certain things she did, like moving in with seven men she didn’t know, but she is safe now, and her choice turned out to be the correct one, meaning she was smart enough to know it would.” She walked backward, still looking at her parents. “I will be safe too, even if I have less money and a lack of parental assistance. And,” she fumed, “no boyfriend.”

“Kenley,” her mother urged. “Think about this.”

“It’s been thought about,” Kenley snapped, and even as her parents called after her, she walked to our car without another word.

Namjoon opened the door, and she climbed in, fumbling with her seatbelt as Jin drove us away.

I offered my hand, pointing to her seatbelt.

She insisted in a more high-pitched tone than usual, “I’m not incompetent, Faeryn.”

I nodded quickly. “Needing help doesn’t make you incompetent.”

She didn’t respond, unable to buckle herself due to her shaking fingers. Eventually, she gave up. “I want to go to the apartment,” she said, barely breathing. “Take me there. I want to go. I—I have to.”

“Kenley—”

“Don’t touch me!”

“I’m not, I’m not,” I said hurriedly, putting my hands up. “I wasn’t going to.”

Her chest heaved, fear whirled in her eyes, and she repeated, “Don’t touch me.”

“I won’t.”

I shifted back to prove my point, and she flinched, jolting back into Namjoon. The brush of his leg against hers set something off within her, and a harsh shudder tore through her. Covering her face with her hands, she kept repeating her frantic mumbles of, “Don’t touch me.”

It filled the car: a sad, haunting melody. Empathy furiously tugged at my heart.

“We’ll take you to Faeryn’s apartment,” Jin told her, his voice level and steady, revealing nothing he felt.

“Don’t touch me,” was all she said in response.

I couldn’t do anything to help. All I could do was sit there, stay out of arm’s reach, and watch her lose herself to a panic attack.

꧁꧂

Kenley rushed into the apartment, ran into the bedroom, and slammed the door shut. She screamed and screamed, stomping around her room and yelling profanities between her parents and Ryker’s name.

I waited anxiously in the kitchen with my men, waiting for her to calm down or ask for help, but I had a sinking notion she wasn’t accustomed to receiving any help if she asked.

An hour passed before her screams broke into silence. My men and I were seated on my living room couch, but I stood when she opened the bedroom door. Her face was flushed, and she had her shirt’s neckline pressed deeply against her neck to alleviate the discomfort of her swollen thyroid.

I didn’t say anything, afraid I would make it worse, so we stared at each other. I allowed the eye contact, wondering if it would help her.

She swallowed with a wince, rubbing her throat furiously. Presently, she stated coarsely, “I want a muffin.”

I blinked, trying to ignore how it felt like she was staring into my soul.

“A pumpkin muffin,” she decided. “And a strawberry matcha. Yes.” She nodded to herself, mumbling as she turned and re-entered the bedroom. “I will put my shoes back on. Grab my jacket. Scarf…wallet…hair tie…”

She reappeared, ready to go. “I am ready to go get a pumpkin muffin and a strawberry matcha.”

I slowly turned to my men, and they stood in response.

The drive was awkward and quiet, but in the cafe, customer chatter filled the silence.

Kenley ate her pumpkin muffin in small bites, savoring every nibble and washing it down with her matcha. Like last time, she brought an extra cup, and this time, I ordered a coffee without chocolate for her to try. I tried her strawberry matcha when she poured it into the extra cup, even though I knew I didn’t like it, figuring she needed the routine for regulation.

She liked my coffee sample, and I gave her my free refill, stating I was full and didn’t want it to go to waste. She then alternated between sipping her matcha, my coffee, and eating her pumpkin muffin.

She eyed me wearily when I shifted to get more comfortable in my seat.

“Sorry,” I offered quietly. “I wasn’t comfortable.”

She stared at me, cocking her head when I held eye contact. Our eyes flickered along each other’s, studying and assessing until she broke off a muffin piece and pushed it onto her napkin. Passing it to me wordlessly, she returned to eating in silence. As soon as my muffin piece was gone, she broke off another piece. This continued until the muffin was complete.

When she stood to get a matcha refill, I turned to my men.

“I’m going to ask her if she wants to have a girls’ night with Lyric and Cheverie,” I announced. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a very kind idea,” Hoseok responded softly.

“It could help her feel less alone,” Namjoon confirmed. “She didn’t want to be alone at the apartment, even when she said otherwise, and she brought us here. She could use the company.”

Jimin sipped his coffee absently. “I would feel more comfortable with Lyric and Cheverie there with you, so yes, I think it’s a good idea, honey.”

Trying to lighten the dire mood, I asked, “You like Lyric and Cheverie now?”

His lips lifted slightly, and his eyes met mine. “Their actions reflected their apology, and from what it looks like, they’re not at each other’s throats 24/7, so yes. I like them as your friends.”

I smiled, pleased. “Me too. I like them as my friends, too. And I hope Kenley will, too.” I looked at Jin, who was already looking at me, and I blushed. “Hi.”

His chest rose and fell steadily. “Hello, Faeryn.”

“Jin?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

He confirmed, “I agree with Jimin’s reasoning. Either way, it’s your decision to make. You don’t need to ask our permission.”

“I know,” I agreed, slightly shy. “I just like when you agree with me.”

He smiled a bit. “We agree with you.”

“Thank you,” I breathed out. “I’ll ask Kenley, and then I’ll call Lyric, but I know she and Cheverie have tonight off. They could probably pick us up so you can all go home and rest.”

“Rest?” Namjoon raised a brow. “This wasn’t work for us.”

“But you must be tired,” I countered, confused.

“Not as tired as you,” he responded.

“I’m okay,” I assured him. “Really, I am.”

“You know it’s okay if you’re not.” His eyes softened before mine dipped away. “Baby.”

“I’ll be okay, but right now, Kenley’s having a harder time than me, and I want to help. I have all of you.” I gestured to them quickly, gripping the top of my pants after the fact. “She doesn’t have anyone.”

“She has you,” Jimin said, his voice quieter than expected. “She is so very lucky to have you.”

“Quality over quantity,” Hoseok murmured, and when I looked up, their fond, loving gazes floored me.

“Thank you,” I choked out, showing a tearful smile.

“We’ll spend as much time together tomorrow night,” Namjoon promised me. “You and us.”

I nodded, sniffling. “Yeah, I miss all the time we usually spend together.”

“We do, too,” he said kindly. “But we know this is something you have to do. Whenever you’re ready, we are, too.”

My smile brimmed with gratitude. “Thank you.”

Kenley returned, and instead of a matcha, she had coffee. Sitting down, she pushed it to me.

Confused, I asked, “What is this?”

She looked at me from her peripheral vision. “Coffee.”

“Oh, I…yeah, I know, but I already had coffee.”

“It’s for later,” she responded, looking anywhere but at me. “When you’re no longer full.” She flicked her fingers toward the coffee’s label. “Two shots of French vanilla, two shots of toasted white chocolate, two packets of sugar, and oat milk.”

I gaped at her. “It’s my favorite order.” I blinked rapidly. “How did you remember that?”

“It’s a formula,” she said absently, tugging at her jacket’s cuff. “I remember formulas.”

Feeling special, I took a sip and showed her a big smile. “It’s really good.”

“Yes, because it’s your favorite order.”

“Yeah,” I agreed giddily. “Thanks, Kenley. Thank you.”

“Well.” She stood. “I’m done being here now.”

“Oh! Well, I wanted to ask you something.”

She looked down at me. “You did?”

“Yeah!” I blinked up at her. “Do you want to have a girls’ night with me and my friends?”

She hesitated. “What is a girl’s night? How does it differ from a regular night?”

“No men are allowed,” I explained. “And we get to do a lot of fun things like make snacks, dance to music, watch TV, stay up super late, and play games—or strategize.”

Her fingers faltered around her throat. “Strategize? As in…Monopoly?”

“Yeah! Lyric has Monopoly at their apartment.”

She squinted in thought. “She has a roommate, correct? Chevrolet?”

I bit back a smile. “Cheverie.”

“Her name is like the car. You know. Chevrolet.”

“Yeah, it’s true,” I agreed. Sitting up straighter, I wondered, “So, do you want to have a girls’ night? It will be them, me, and you.”

“Do they have pumpkin muffins?”

“We could bake some!” I told her excitedly. “Lyric loves baking, so she has all the ingredients.”

Her fingers fell away from her throat. “Why do you want me to go to this girl’s night?”

“So we can have fun, and it will be—a lot of fun, I mean.”

“But…I don’t do things for fun. I have to study to be a lawyer.”

“It could be a good way to strategize new things,” I told her. “You could learn the best girls’ night formula, so you can study that!”

She assessed. “Well. Okay. I will go to this girl’s night that differs from a normal night.” She fidgeted. “When do we go?”

I beamed. “I’ll call them! They’ll come pick us up.” I turned to my men and showed a thumbs-up. “Okay?”

They smiled back at me, each with their own confirmation.

Even with today’s happenings, I could barely contain my excitement. A girls’ night—with someone I hoped would be my friend.

Notes:

I hate Kenley's parents and Ryker😒
BUT YOU GUYS!!! The new story I wrote is out now on AO3 and Wattpad! It's called Love Amongst The Fractured, and it includes Dom Jungkook and an original female character struggling with OCD. It's steamy, romantic, contains dark pasts, and brings awareness to OCD. If you want to check it out, it would mean so much to me!! It already has four chapters published and ready to read, and it will be updated every Monday at 2 PM EST 🤭

Thank you again to the lovely reader who gave me this story idea!! I hope you enjoy the story!!

I'll work on a new BTS OT7 soon 🫡😻

Chapter 62: Home!

Summary:

Girls' night! However, toward the end of it, something unexpected occurs, warranting an emergency arrival from Jin and Jungkook.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

“Hi!” Lyric greeted, waving frantically as she entered the cafe. Cheverie pushed her hand down, but Lyric broke free and continued waving. “You must be Kenley!”

Kenley turned to me, slightly startled by the sudden volume increase. “Is that Lyric?”

I nodded proudly. “She’s my best friend.”

“She is very loud.”

“Oh, yes, she is very loud.”

Lyric bounded over, chirping out a cheerful greeting to my men before pulling up a seat from a neighboring table and plopping on it. “Girls’ night!”

Cheverie pulled up an extra chair. “Hey, Faeryn.” She dipped her chin in acknowledgment of Kenley. “Nice to meet you.”

Kenley cocked her head, squinting as she stared into Cheverie’s soul. “Hello.”

Cheverie rested her palm in her hand. “Hello.” Her gaze shifted to Lyric when she spoke animatedly, announcing, “We have everything prepared for our girls’ night. You’ll love it, Kenley! We have so much fun.”

“You can’t say whether I like something or not,” Kenley responded. “Because I have not yet tried it, and because you don’t know me well enough to say.”

“Psh posh! We’ll find something in girls’ night that you like, I know it,” Lyric cheered. “But first, I’m going to get a latte.”

I informed Kenley, “This is her favorite coffee shop.”

Kenley watched after Lyric as she practically skipped to order her latte, analyzing how most of the workers knew her by name. “She is…bubbly,” she decided.

“The most bubbly,” I confirmed, wearing a big smile. “She’s the best.” I gestured at Cheverie. “Cheverie’s the best, too. We became friends a few months ago.” I waved. “Hi, Cheverie.”

She waved back, still propping her cheek in her palm.

Kenley mulled this over. “Well. Okay.”

“Chev!” Lyric’s hand was pushed down as she flickered her fingers, beckoning the mentioned forward. “What do you want to drink?”

Cheverie pivoted, shaking a hand through her hair lazily. “What I usually get.”

“Blegh, boring!” Lyric, however, rattled off Cheverie’s usual order and continued chatting amicably with the staff.

Kenley noted, “They like her bubbly formula.”

“Oh, yes,” I agreed. “Lyric is very popular, and she goes to a lot of parties with Cheverie and Jaehyun.”

“Who is Jaehyun?”

“Oh! He works at HYBE, but he and Lyric knew each other when they were kids,” I explained. “Lyric works at HYBE, too, remember I told you?”

“Yes, I remember.” Kenley eyed Cheverie curiously. “Where does she work?”

“I’m a full-time college student,” Cheverie responded.

“Oh.” Kenley looked away. “I assume your parents pay.”

“No, I cut off contact with them. I pay for myself.”

“I see,” Kenley said quietly.

Trying to change the topic, I piped up with, “Cheverie’s going to be a psychologist. She’s really smart, just like you, Kenley.” I informed Cheverie, “Kenley’s studying to be a lawyer, and she’s awesome with numbers. She works as an administrative assistant.”

Cheverie blew air through her lips. “Props to you. I’m shit with numbers.”

Kenley glanced at her. “It is just simple administrative work.”

“It’s not,” Cheverie chuckled. “You usually need an associate’s degree to work in that field.”

“Well, yes, I do have one.”

“There. See? Smart.”

Kenley shrugged, but a small smirk appeared on her lips. “Yes. It is because I will be a lawyer.”

“Either way,” Cheverie conversed. “Both fields are reputable and pay well.”

“Not as well as a lawyer.”

“As long as you can live a good, happy life, who cares about money?”

Kenley frowned. “What a strange thing to say.”

Lyric skipped over with two drinks. “For you!” She handed Cheverie her black coffee with a splash of cream. “One nasty concoction all for you.”

“Good.” Cheverie took a sip. “I wasn’t planning on sharing.”

Lyric rolled her eyes and gulped her drink down. “Ready for girls’ night, Fae? Kenley?”

“I guess,” Kenley responded.

“Me too.” I put my hand up in the air in agreement, waving it around. “Ready!”

Lyric grinned. “That’s the spirit! Now come on—before your men get greedy and keep you all to themselves.” She giggled mischievously and tugged Cheverie up, pulling her to the door. “Come on, Kenley. This is the part where we give them space to say goodbye.”

Kenley rubbed her temples and stood. “Goodbye.” She walked forward, paused, and bowed slightly, telling my men, “Thank you. I am sorry that you had to hear me scream today. I…am very grateful that you and Faeryn were with me today.”

Lifting herself back up, she told me, “I’ll apologize to you later.”

With that, she left the coffee shop with Lyric and Cheverie.

My lips turned downward, and Jimin was the first to ask, “What’s wrong, honey?”

“She’s trying so hard,” I blurted, my heart bleeding with empathy. “She doesn’t know anything about Autism, her parents have obviously told her she’s incompetent her entire life, her only friends are in study groups, and she believes she has to trap herself into a degree she doesn’t want in a way to make her want it.”

He looked pained. “I can see that she’s trying. I can. I’m on my guard because you mean so much to me, and I don’t want to see you get hurt, but yes, she’s trying, and I’m sorry that her parents chose to believe Ryker over their own daughter.” His eyes flashed with anger. “Ryker will get what’s coming to him. He can’t run from who he is.”

I nodded a little. “I hope so,” I said quietly.

“He will,” Jin said firmly. “And he will feel the burden of what he’s done.”

I managed another nod. “Okay.”

“Okay, honey?” Jimin prompted, seeing how my expression had dropped.

“I don’t want to talk about Ryker,” I said, strained. “I want to have a girls’ night.”

He grabbed my hand, offering a reassuring squeeze. “You’re about to do that right now, aren’t you, honey? You’re going to have so much fun.” He dragged his hand over his face with a playful groan. “Our home will be so empty with you.”

I hurried to him, lowering myself to squeeze him into a hug. “I’ll be back tomorrow!”

He kissed my neck protectively. “Ah, but tomorrow isn’t tonight, is it?”

“Tomorrow is tomorrow,” I responded cheekily, feeling a little better.

Jin spoke up while I was still hugging Jimin. “We want to talk to you about what Lohee said today. We still haven’t claimed the chance to do so when he first spoke ill about you, and we don’t want his words to fester.”

“Mm…it’s okay,” I decided. “I know what he said isn’t true. What Kenley said is true, and that’s what I agree with, so…we can talk about it because it does hurt my feelings, but my feelings and I will be okay.”

“We still want to discuss it,” Namjoon told me with a watchful smile. “See where your head is at.”

Hoseok added, “It will be good for all of us to talk it through. Release any lingering anger.”

I hugged him next. “Okay. Love you, Hobi.” I nuzzled our cheeks. “I’m so excited to have a girls’ night!”

He squeezed my arm. “Good, sweetheart.”

Namjoon’s watchful smile remained when I arrived before him for a hug. “A little floaty right now, baby?”

“Excited,” I gushed, throwing my arms around him and jumping up and down slightly.

With a low chuckle, he tilted my chin and kissed me tenderly. “Call us,” he said against my lips, “if you need us.”

I hugged him tightly. “I will, but I won’t need to because I’ll be having a girls’ night.” I peeked up at him excitedly. “With three friends instead of two like last time. That’s really great, right?” I faltered, embarrassed. “Well, Kenley and I aren’t officially friends yet, but maybe we will be soon.”

He kissed my forehead, breathing deeply. “Time will tell, hm? Now go say your goodbyes to Jin.”

Walking to Jin, I looked up at him. “Jin?”

He pulled me into his arms, squeezing my waist. “Yes, Faeryn.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you.” He caressed my hair, pressing a kiss to my temples. “Just as much and more.”

“Not more than I love you.” I pushed onto my tiptoes. “I love you—all of you. So much!”

He kissed my forehead, leaning back slightly to see me. “Be careful,” he advised as his grip on me tightened. “I know you’re feeling happy due to your girls’ night, but if you drop for any reason, breathe through it, and if you feel like you need help, call us.”

“Drop?” I questioned.

“You’re feeling euphoric,” he explained. “You might experience a drop if you don’t stay grounded, which is okay, but it will feel overwhelming. Breathe through it, and if needed, you call us. Yes?”

“Yes, Jin.” I pursed my lips. “I will.”

“Very good, Faeryn.” He kissed my slightly downturned lips. “Don’t be sad. Be as happy as you want to be, just look out for signs of a drop.”

I nodded and pushed my lips out for another kiss that he bestowed easily.

He patted my lower back, easing his hand down to pat my bottom lightly, almost encouragingly. “Have fun.”

Embarrassed and hot, I swatted his chest. “Jin.”

“Mhm.”

“Public! We’re in it!”

He hid a smile as the others chuckled. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hugged him once more. “Okay, I have to go now! Bye!”

I waved goodbye and blew them several kisses before joining my friends out front.

“Well, well, well,” Lyric teased. “The coffee shop’s windows were just getting steamed up.”

I grabbed her arm and shook it, embarrassed. “Stop it.”

She grinned and poked my side. “Girls’ night?”

My embarrassment left almost immediately. “Girls’ night!”

Girls’ night was off to a great start with Kenley and Lyric baking muffins and Cheverie and I sorting through their game cabinet.

“We’ll play Monopoly, correct?” Kenley kept prompting every five minutes.

I agreed cheerily every single time.

“I’ll be the bank,” Cheverie said off-handedly, focused on balancing a few card games above Monopoly.

“No!” Kenley declared indignantly, slightly panicked by the proposition. “I am the bank.”

Cheverie wasn’t phased, turning and setting the games down. “Yeah, whatever. I don’t care. Are the muffins done?”

“Almost,” Lyric chirped, although non-subtly side-eyeing Kenley. “We’re going to add frosting.”

“Um, no, we can’t,” Kenley refused. “I never have my pumpkin muffins with frosting.”

“Then you can keep a frosting-less serving for yourself,” Lyric quipped. “Don’t be a dick.”

I gulped.

Surprised, Kenley responded, “I…wasn’t being a dick. I was stating a fact.”

“State facts less dickishly, yeah?”

“Um, you believe I am being rude because of my monotone?”

“No,” Lyric snorted. “I think you’re being rude because of the words leaving your mouth, tone be damned.” She glanced at me and smiled sheepishly. “But anyway! It doesn’t matter because our girls’ night must commence!”

I began to sigh with relief, but Kenley spoke again, prodding, “How is stating a fact rude?”

“Just say it a little nicer,” Lyric pointed out. “Like this.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t like frosting with my pumpkin muffins, so I’m going to keep a serving without frosting.”

Kenley assessed. “I see.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t like frosting with my pumpkin muffins, so I’m going to keep a serving without frosting.” She put her hand on her hip, awkwardly trying to copy Lyric’s stature. “Good?”

Lyric grinned. “Great. But keep a few muffins for the rest of us, yeah?”

“Okay. I will.” Kenley slowly returned to her usual stance. “Um, thank you for explaining. It is confusing sometimes. To understand.”

Lyric pushed out a thumbs-up. “It’s all good!”

My sigh of relief was released.

Our Monopoly game was successful, and afterward, we watched old, comedy movies. Kenley wasn’t impressed and toyed with the Monopoly players idly.

I had come down from my euphoria high relatively safely, ensuring I stuck close to Lyric when I felt it occur. It happened gradually, and with her usual teases and bright smiles, I escaped a drop and settled into a content state of mind. Missing my men, however, attempted to spur on a drop. It felt like forever since we sat, talked, and laughed together, and I sorely missed the time before the holidays.

I wanted to go home.

But we were having a girls’ night.

Drumming my fingers against my lips anxiously, I stood abruptly. “I have to call the guys.”

They looked up at me, surprised.

“Why?” Lyric asked, scrambling forward to prop herself on the couch armrest. “Are you okay?”

I swallowed stiffly. “I just want to talk to them.”

“Awww,” she sympathized. “You miss them.” She waved me forward. “Go call! Don’t let us keep you!”

“Thank you,” I said hurriedly as I sped into the bathroom. Pausing when I remembered it wasn’t soundproof, I asked Lyric, “Can I use your room?”

“Go, go!”

With another rushed thank you, I sprinted into her room and closed the door, making sure to stand far away from it.

I chose to dial Jin’s number, knowing he held the authority to gather everyone for a group talk quickly.

He picked up on the third ring. “Faeryn?”

“Jin.” I clutched my phone tightly. “Hi, Jin. Hi, I’m—Hi, Jin.”

“Hi, Faeryn,” he responded. I heard him turn the sink off. “Talk to me.”

“Where is everyone?” I wondered headily. “I miss you. I want to come home.”

“We miss you, too.” The familiar motions of him using a hand towel rang through the phone, only making me miss home more. “I can be there shortly. Is that what you want?”

“I…” My grip on my phone faltered. “But I told Kenley we would have a girls’ night, and girls’ nights have sleepovers.”

“Not all of them do.”

Hope filled me. “Really?”

He confirmed, letting me digest this new information. “You can change the rules when none were set in stone.”

“But I don’t want Kenley to be alone.”

“And I don’t want you to be somewhere you’d rather not be currently.”

“It’s nice here,” I insisted, gnawing my lip. “And we’re having fun.”

“You miss us,” he concluded.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Miss you.”

Jungkook’s voice cut in, “Who’s on the phone, hyung?” He paused, amending, “Sorry for interrupting.”

“You’re fine,” Jin responded. “Faeryn is on the phone.”

“Faeryn?” Jungkook’s excitement was contagious, and I shuffled in place. “Hi, Faeryn! Can she hear me?”

“I can hear him,” I confirmed eagerly. “Jungkook, I can hear you!”

There was a slight pause on Jin’s side before he prompted, “Try again, Faeryn.”

“Jungkook,” I greeted breathily. “Hi, it’s me; Faeryn!”

Jungkook’s giddy grin could be heard. “Faeryn! I can hear you now; Jin put you on speakerphone.” He sounded closer than before. “What are you doing? Are you coming home?”

“I don’t know,” I fretted. “I don’t want to have a sleepover like I thought I did.”

“Why not?” he asked. “Did something happen?”

“No, we’re having fun, but I…I miss you so much.” I teared up against my will, surprising myself. “I just want to come home now.”

“Faeryn.” Jungkook’s sweet voice turned indignant in seconds, aimed toward Jin. “We have to go pick her up.”

Jin asked me, “Do you want us to pick you up and take you home?”

“I have to talk to Kenley first,” I decided.

“You don’t need her permission.”

“I know, but I don’t want it to feel like I’m bailing on a night I suggested we have.”

Jungkook told Jin, “She has a point, hyung.”

Jin breathed deeply. “It’s your decision, Faeryn.”

“I’ll talk to her,” I announced. “Okay? I’ll…I’ll be right back.”

“Okay!” Jungkook agreed.

I didn’t move.

Jungkook whispered to Jin, “I can’t wait for her to come home.”

“Me too,” I agreed.

“Oh!” Jungkook exclaimed. “Faeryn, you didn’t ask Kenley yet?”

“I…I will.” I looked around Lyric’s room as if seeing it for the first time, and used it to procrastinate. “I’m going to.”

“Take your time,” Jin told me.

“I’m…going to take you with me,” I told them after a moment’s thought. “On the phone.”

“We’ll mute our end of the phone.”

“Good idea! Okay, I’m going now.”

“We’re muting now.”

I slipped out of Lyric’s room and slowly headed into the living room. Waiting for the right moment, I swayed awkwardly a few feet away from the couch until my foot shifted and caught the rug, earning everyone’s attention.

“Fae!” Lyric cheered. “That was quick. How was the talk with your harem?”

I smiled awkwardly, swinging my arms lightly.

Kenley cocked her head. “Why are you awkward? Did you have a bad talk?”

I jolted in place, squeaking, “No!”

Cheverie pushed her arm over the end of the couch, right behind Lyric’s back. “Then what is it?”

I pointed at my phone, saying in a hushed tone, “They’re still on the phone.”

“Eavesdropping, are ya?!” Lyric shrieked.

“No!” I defended. “I just wanted to bring them with me.”

“Still eavesdropping,” Lyric teased.

“They’re on mute,” I told her.

She laughed. “They can still hear us, Fae.”

“I know, but they won’t respond because they’re on mute.” I tried to stand as tall as I could. “I just wanted to tell everyone something.”

They nodded back at me.

“Well?” Cheverie prompted when I remained silent. “We’re listening.”

Rushing the words out, I blurted, “I know I said this was a girls’ night, and I’m the one who decided we should have one, but I don’t want to have a sleepover anymore, and I want to go home.” I took a breathing break. “Is that okay?”

Kenley nodded. “It is your decision. It doesn’t matter what we think or say.”

“Oh! Well, I…I just wanted to ask because it was my idea to have a girls’ night, and—”

“We did a lot in one night,” Kenley cut me off. “The girls’ night can be over.”

My shoulders slumped. “Really?”

“Yes.”

I looked at Lyric and Cheverie, and they nodded.

“Oh, thank you,” I breathed out. “I didn’t realize I would miss my men so much, but it’s been a lot recently, and I just want to go home.”

“I understand,” Kenley said distantly. “I would do the same if I had a boyfriend.”

“You will,” I said decidedly. “Especially now that Ryker’s out of your life. Right? It’s giving the right guy the opportunity to come in.”

“That,” she mumbled, “on top of copious amounts of debt.”

“We could find a way to get you out of your lease,” I determined hopefully. “There’s always a loophole. I mean, you are studying to be a lawyer. There has to be something.”

She pursed her lips. “Yes, I am studying to be a lawyer.” Quieter, and more to herself, she said, “Yes, yes.”

“Well!” Lyric chirped. “Aside from the creepy mumbling, I’d say this girls’ night was a success!”

I beamed. “Really? Even if I’m leaving early?”

“There will always be more girls’ nights, and not all of them have to end up in a sleepover, you know.” She jumped up for a hug. “When’s your harem coming?”

“Oh! Probably soon once I tell them they can.” I put my mouth to my phone’s speaker. “Jin? Jungkook? Are you still there?”

“Here,” they announced, each with their own usual tone; Jin’s was firm, and Jungkook’s was giddy.

I giggled excitedly. “They’re here!”

After they said they were on their way, we ended the phone call.

“You’re happy,” Kenley noted. “Is it because of your men?”

“Yeah!” I bounded over to join everyone in the living room. “And because we had so much fun tonight.” I plopped beside her. “You and Lyric made really good pumpkin muffins.”

“Yes,” she said, sounding a little proud of herself. “We did, albeit the frosting.”

“Hey!” Lyric scolded playfully. “Don’t hate on the frosting life.”

“But I will.” Kenley smirked, picking up Monopoly pieces as Lyric laughed.

“Did you have fun tonight?” I asked her hopefully, nearly holding my breath as I awaited her answer.

She neatly tucked the game’s money into the board. “I’m sorry.”

I blinked. “Why? What’s wrong? Is it because you didn’t have a good time?”

“No.” She set to work reorganizing the cards, took a breath, and set them down. “I’m sorry for earlier when I kept repeating ‘Don’t touch me’ in the car, and…when I screamed for so long at the apartment.”

“It’s okay!” I rushed to reassure her. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“I…I don’t?”

I shook my head quickly. “It wasn’t your fault at all. You just saw that your parents chose to believe Ryker instead of you, their own daughter, and you were having a trauma response. You didn’t scream at us; you just screamed. It’s okay, really. We all understood.”

She nodded more to herself than to me, struggling to assess. “You are kind, and I am not always kind. Thank you for…explaining this to me, and for being kind, and for…this girls’ night. I’ve never had one before.”

“Maybe we can have more,” I offered with a tentative smile.

She looked at me. “You…want to have another girls’ night with me? Cheverie and Lyric, too?”

I looked at Lyric and Cheverie eagerly, and they both agreed in their own ways. I beamed. “See?”

She huffed out a breath, confused by the quick agreement. “I’ve always struggled with making friends and figuring out how each person communicates. If I…hurt anyone’s feelings tonight, I didn’t mean to. Please tell me so I can update my speech formulas with you and stop hurting your feelings.”

“Aside from the frosting comment at the start,” Lyric said with a wink, “you’re all good. Oh, and getting so upset about Cheverie offering to be the bank in Monopoly.”

Kenley blinked. “Oh. I was too eager?”

Cheverie chuckled. “You didn’t offer a compromise and immediately decided you would get the choice.”

Kenley nodded slowly. “I see. I think that is my sibling formula.”

Cheverie shared a look with Lyric, and they both struggled to hide their amusement. Kenley noticed and asked, “What is it?”

“That makes sense,” Lyric said, letting her laugh escape. “Are you the youngest child?” Kenley nodded, confused. “Yeah, that makes sense, too. Had to fight for what you wanted, didn’t you?”

Kenley nodded. “Yes, everyone would take my things from me. I had to figure out the sibling formula, but none of them ever speak my language. Once I think I figure out their language, they change it. I don’t think I will ever perfect that formula. It’s too…painful.”

Lyric’s laughter died out, and Cheverie frowned.

“It’s fine,” Cheverie told her as a pang shot through my heart. “Family’s complicated.”

Kenley nodded slowly. “I…” She swallowed roughly and re-focused on Monopoly. “I would rather not speak about this anymore. Please,” she added.

“Then we’re done speaking about it,” Cheverie agreed, Lyric and I nodding our agreement.

Kenley looked relieved. “Good. Thank you.”

“I know this is a serious moment,” Lyric said momentarily, “but what’s with all the talk of formulas?”

“Kenley’s super smart,” I responded brightly. “She learns things through formulas. I think that’s why she likes math so much, right, Kenley?”

“Yes, I enjoy math,” Kenley confirmed. “It has delicious formulas, and everything is created to make sense, and if it doesn’t yet, it will, because a formula can be created for it.”

“Definitely not smart enough to enjoy anything like that, but I’m happy for you,” Lyric responded jovially.

Kenley lifted her shoulder. “Thanks, I guess.” Back to me, she said, “Well, even if you said that I don’t need to apologize for screaming, it was…embarrassing, I think, is what I’m feeling. I don’t like screaming or yelling, although sometimes, like today, it felt nice.”

“A nice release,” I admitted, slightly embarrassed when I revealed, “I’ve done it before, too. Screamed and yelled, but…I yelled at someone.”

“You? Yell?” She scoffed, but she considered me curiously. “I don’t think so.”

“She has,” Lyric confirmed. “At dear old me because I was a bitch.”

“Lyric!” I scolded. “Don’t be mean to yourself.”

Cheverie hid a growing smile behind her fist. “I mean—”

Lyric gasped and rained multiple hits down on Cheverie, making the latter’s smile pull through and transform into a laugh. “I can say that I’m a bitch, not you!”

Kenley watched them, dumbfounded by their dynamic. Shaking her head lightly as if trying to dispose of the confusion, she asked, “Can you drive me to my apartment, Faeryn?”

“Oh, I can’t drive,” I admitted with a blush.

“I was referring to your men coming here to pick you up in their car.”

“Oh. Oh!” I nodded quickly. “Yeah, we can give you a ride!”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

Lyric hopped up. “I’ll pack you some non-frosted muffins for your apartment, Kenley.”

“Hm.” Kenley watched after her. “Thank you.”

“Kenley?” I asked.

She glanced at me. “Yeah?”

“What Ryker and your parents said about you isn’t true,” I stated firmly. “And maybe you already know that, but having two people know it can sometimes be better than just one, so I wanted to tell you.”

“Um, I don’t want to talk about it.”

I froze. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“Don’t apologize,” Cheverie said lightly.

“Yes,” Kenley agreed. “You don’t have to apologize. Now you know not to bring it up. That is that.”

I nodded, relieved. “Yeah, that is that.”

Lyric packed muffins for Kenley, and when we all sat around and talked until my men arrived, I felt like I was buzzing out of my skin.

“Fae?” Lyric asked after a few minutes of me fidgeting restlessly on the floor, accidentally bumping into the wall a few times. “You okay?”

“Mm, yup! That’s really great!” I clutched the heels of my sock-padded feet and shifted forward slightly, then backward, and side to side. “Mm, yup! That’s really great!”

Kenley stared at me. “What is wrong with you?”

“Kenley,” Lyric snapped. “Don’t say that to her.”

Kenley looked up at her, her expression mixed with confusion and guilt. “What did I do? I was asking a question because something is clearly not right.”

Lyric muttered, “You need to work on adding some sugar to your words.” She pushed herself off of the coach and over to me. “Hey, Fae. Is this…well, what is this? It’s not a meltdown, right?”

I shook my head but declared, “Mm, yup! That’s really great!”

“So, not a meltdown,” Cheverie guessed, moving off the couch, too.

“Mm, yup! That’s really great!” I repeated.

Kenley cocked her head. “She has Echolalia. This is…part of it, I think.”

Cheverie glanced at her. “Do you have Echolalia, too? Do you know what this is?”

“I do have Echolalia,” Kenley answered. “But not like this.”

“Um, I’ve never seen it like this either,” Lyric started to panic as I kept continuing my phrase. “Fae, can you sign something? Shit, shit. I don’t know a ton of ASL, just the basics.”

I signed.

Cheverie grunted. “She signed, ‘Yes, that’s amazing.’”

“How do you know?!” Lyric asked, agape.

“I picked up a class in college. It gives me credits, plus I wanted to know some because of Faeryn and future patients I’ll work with.”

“Yeah?!” Lyric nearly shrieked. “Put that associate’s degree to use then!”

Cheverie deadpanned. “Lyric, it’s an associate, not a PHD. I barely know anything about this. I mean, the one sitting right there with Autism doesn’t know anything about this, but you expect me to?”

Lyric shifted forward until we were knee to knee. “We’re with a bunch of shitheads, Fae, but don’t worry. Even if they don’t know how to help, I do.”

“Mm, yup!” I exclaimed, continuing to rock. “That’s really great!” Pushing my face down, my teeth latched onto my shirt’s neckline, and I chewed frantically, mumbling my phrases.

“Oh!” Lyric shouted, making me freeze. “Her chewing tubes! Did she bring them? Fae, did you bring them?” She blinked. “Oh. Oh no no no. Hey, hey, I’m so sorry for shouting. I was too loud, wasn’t I?” She stressed, “No, no, Fae, it’s okay, it’s okay. We’re just having a fun girls’ night; it’s okay, and your men will be here soon.”

She turned and whisper-yelled to Cheverie, “Check their ETA.”

“I don’t have their fucking numbers, what the hell?” Cheverie shot back.

“They live like twenty minutes from here! Check the fucking clock!”

Cheverie pivoted and lifted herself to view the stove’s digital clock. “Ten minutes out.”

“Ten?!” Lyric shrieked. “I mean, ten! Woo! That’s a great number, Fae, did you hear that? They’ll be here in no time at all.”

“Mm, yup!” My voice was high-pitched and overly enthusiastic. “You’re going to be like Faeryn, then?” My rocking sped up, but my voice remained the same. “Regress enough! Be a low-functioning Autistic! Can’t do anything for myself!”

Kenley’s features tightened with realization. “She’s repeating what my father said today.”

“What?” Cheverie and Lyric both asked incredulously, the former pressing, “He said that to her?”

“They were talking to me,” Kenley revealed stiffly. “But they talked about her, and she heard.”

I nodded quickly. “Mm, yup! Low functioning Autistic! Can’t do anything for myself!”

“No, no, Fae, don’t repeat what they said,” Lyric scolded lightly, still panicked. “They’re full of shit on top of being batshit crazy and horrible parents.” She chuckled awkwardly, offering Kenley, “No offense.”

“That’s really great!” I cheered, and buried more of my shirt in my mouth, biting furiously. “Receptionist! Low-paying job!”

It felt like tiny bubbles in my stomach threatening to erupt from my throat in either a giggle, cry, or scream, but all that came out was Echolalia. I was panicking on the inside and mimicking words to perfection on the outside, unable to stop. It was driving me to frustration, and this level of it would soon reach overstimulation.

“Did her harem say anything when your dad said this awful shit?” Lyric asked quickly. “Something to counter it? Maybe she can repeat it instead.”

Lyric shook her head. “She and her men were in the car.”

“Fuck,” Lyric stressed. “Then what do we do?”

Kenley awkwardly rubbed her knee before patting it. “Um, I have an idea, I guess.”

“You guess?! A guess is not enough!” Lyric exploded.

“Saying that is part of my Echolalia.”

“It’s part of your—oh.” Lyric scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, okay, reputable. Proceed.”

Kenley gathered her bearings and faced me. Recalling earlier, she said, “We are people before we are Autistic.”

“Mm, yup! Autism is a disease!” I recalled.

She hesitated, took a second, and tried again. “Autism is—”

“Autism is a disease! That’s really great! Low-paying receptionist job! Living with strangers is bad!”

“What?” Lyric asked, baffled. “Who said that to her?”

“My father.” Kenley trained her eyes on the ground. “I…I said that living with strangers was bad behind her back before I lived at her apartment.”

Lyric went very still. “Excuse me.”

“I apologized,” Kenley explained, lifting the neckline of her shirt to press against her neck. “I know it is wrong to talk about people badly behind their backs, but yes, she lived with strangers, and usually, that is dangerous. However, they love her, and she loves them, so it is not bad to live with those types of strangers. She was smart enough to know that.”

Lyric glared at her. “You talked about her behind her back after all she did was try and help you?”

“Lyric,” Cheverie cut in. “Chew her out later all you want, but that’s not our main focus right now.”

“Mm, yup!” A slightly delirious laugh left me, followed by an overwhelmed whimper. “That’s really great!”

“Shit, shit,” Lyric said, beside herself with worry. “You can’t stop, can you, Fae? Oh, fuck. What do we do? How do we help?”

“No college degree!” I continued, breathing heavily. “I’m idiotic! Lied about Ryker for attention and validation!”

“Who the fuck told her that?!” Lyric demanded.

Kenley shook her head rigidly, saying quietly, “My father.” A beat passed, and she added with shame tethering her tone, “I said she lied about Ryker. Behind her back.”

“Oh, you piece of—”

“Lyric,” Cheverie cut her off snappishly. “Enough. Whatever’s going on with Faeryn, you’re making it worse.”

Lyric pointed at her. “Get Faeryn’s phone from her bag. Maybe hearing her men’s voices will help.”

Cheverie stood. “Now there’s a good idea.”

“I know,” Lyric said huffily. “Hurry up.”

Cheverie retrieved my phone, and it didn’t need to be unlocked when it abruptly rang. “It’s them,” she said, surprised. “Well, it’s Jungkook.”

“Pick up!” Lyric insisted.

“Okay, okay, yes, picking up now.” Cheverie accepted the call as I continued repeating phrases. “Uh, hello?”

“Speakerphone!” Lyric hissed.

Cheverie pressed the button and cleared her throat. “Yes, hello, Jungkook?”

Jungkook’s voice rang through, and I froze. “Oh, hi. You’re not Faeryn.”

“Yeah, no.” She glanced at the front door as if expecting him to come through at any moment. “Any chance you’re almost here?”

“Oh,” Jungkook realized. “You’re at the girls’ night. Cheverie?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Oh! Hi.” He cupped the speaker of his phone, and although slightly muffled, he could still be heard. “Jin, are we almost there?”

Jin’s voice came through, and my Echolalia became louder. More persistent. “Five minutes.”

Jungkook relayed to Cheverie, “Five minutes.”

“Sure, cool, any chance you can hit that gas pedal and get here faster without killing anyone and breaking any laws?”

“Why?” Jungkook’s tone immediately changed from shy to worried. “Is something wrong?”

Jin commanded, “Speakerphone, Jungkook.”

“There,” Jungkook announced. “It’s on, hyung.” To Cheverie, “Why do we need to be there faster? Did something happen?”

“Don’t panic,” Cheverie warned. “Stay focused on driving, but Faeryn suddenly went into a…I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s almost like an Echolalia attack. All she can do is repeat phrases.”

“Did you put pressure on her chest?” Jin demanded. “Weighted blankets? Pillows?”

“No, it just happened,” Cheverie admitted. “We didn’t know what to do. We tried helping her repeat other, kinder phrases, but it backfired. Has this happened before? Does weight help?”

“It hasn’t happened before,” Jin responded, sounding upset. “What occurred before this attack? What triggered it?”

“I don’t know.” She glanced at me. “We were watching TV, she randomly got up to call you, then we all talked about random day-to-day life, and she suddenly started rocking back and forth and repeating things.”

“Give me the phone!” Lyric whisper-yelled. “I don’t want to shout.”

“It is too late for that,” Kenley reminded her absently, zoning out.

“You do not get to hate on my choices,” Lyric spat out. “Not after what you did.”

Kenley shrank back, the reprimand uncomfortably snapping her back into herself. “I…I apologized.”

A pained gasp left me, and I tugged more of my shirt into my mouth, almost revealing my stomach. “Stop yelling, stop yelling! I’ll be good! No hitting!” I shrieked, and a shudder ripped through me harshly. “No hitting! Not bad, I’m good!”

Rocking against the wall repeatedly, my side hit it each time, and completely overwhelmed, I burst into tears. “Want Jin, I want Jin, I—I want Jin, and that’s really great!” I cried harder. “Bad because I’m Autistic.” Panting, I pleaded, “I want Jin! No hitting!”

Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I choked on my shirt. “Want Jin, need Jin, I—I want Jinnie.”

The last words were hiccuped and more of a mistake, but as soon as they left me, I kept repeating them.

Jinnie, Jinnie, Jinnie. It sounded pretty and nice, like someone who wouldn’t hurt me. Jinnie, Jinnie, Jinnie.

With my phone still on speaker phone, I could hear the peel of Jin’s gas pedal as he accelerated. “Give her a weighted blanket,” he commanded sharply, almost yelling.

“Don’t yell,” Lyric scolded, but her voice had heightened from the sight of my distress. “You’ll freak her out!”

“Do not tell me what is best for my woman,” he seethed, the anger in his voice loud and telling. “You will locate a weighted blanket, Lyric, and you will do so now.”

“Fuck! I’m trying.” She ran around the living room until she located a few blankets, and although not weighted, she decided they would work together to have the same effect.

“Two minutes,” he ground out.

“Faeryn,” Jungkook breathed out. “Do you hear that? We’re two minutes away.”

“Hear that?” I echoed, struggling to catch my breath and refusing to release my shirt from between my teeth. “Two minutes!”

“That’s right,” he agreed quickly. “Just two minutes.”

“Just two minutes!” A quiet wail left me, and my lips parted with growing distress. “No one will love you! No home for Faeryn! Bad Faeryn! Bad, Autistic Faeryn!”

“No, no, you are the best Faeryn,” Jungkook refuted immediately. “Remember? Best?”

I choked on a sob as I parroted, “Best what?”

“You’re the best,” he concluded, sounding slightly relieved. “See? Faeryn’s the best.”

“See? Faeryn’s the best!”

“Yes! Faeryn is the very best, and Jungkook and Jin and everyone at her home loves her so, so much.”

“Faeryn’s the best!”

Cheverie noted, “You’re saying too much. I don’t think she can compute big sentences right now.”

“Break it down,” Lyric suggested, trying to put the blankets around me, but I flailed around in denial. “Fae, please, Jin said this would help, okay? You trust Jin, right?”

I hyperventilated. “Jin! Want Jin! Jungkook loves Faeryn!”

“Jin loves Faeryn,” Jin’s dark, gravelly tone left the phone, laced with his familiar, grounding protectiveness.

“Jin loves Faeryn,” I gasped out. “Jungkook loves Faeryn. Bad Faeryn!”

“Good Faeryn,” they corrected simultaneously, and Jungkook added hastily, “We’re here. We’re parking right now.”

“Mm, yup! That’s really great!”

“We’re getting out of the car right now,” Jungkook said breathlessly. It sounded like he and Jin were running. “We’ll be right there, Faeryn, we promise.”

Kenley stood, but not before I caught sight of the guilt painting her face. “I will open the door for them.”

“Kenley!” I exclaimed, the loudness of my voice driving my overstimulation. “Friend? Time will tell!”

She paused, and guilt and confusion morphed until she successfully hid her feelings behind whatever mask she hadn’t realized she perfected. “I’ll open the door,” she repeated.

Exactly one minute later, Jungkook announced they were outside the door, and Kenley opened it, barely stepping out of the way in time as Jungkook and Jin bee-lined for me.

Relief floored me, a little taste of it, and I cried, tasting the saltiness of my tears on my tongue.

Jin leaned down and lifted me into his arms, turning his hard, stern gaze to Lyric. “I need privacy.”

“Oh! Fuck, fuck, yeah, just use my room.” Lyric wildly gestured toward her room. “First door on the right.”

Jin carried me there quickly while Jungkook spoke comfort to me as he followed. Once the door was locked and closed, Jin sat on Lyric’s desk chair, put me on his lap chest to chest, and bounced his thigh lightly.

“I’m here.” His breath warmed my cheek, and his lips grazed beneath my ear. With his hand pressed deeply into my back, warm and heavy, his sturdy, strong thigh bounced to aid in my regulation. “Jungkook and I are right here.”

“Right here,” Jungkook attested assiduously. “Right here, Faeryn.”

“Right here,” I echoed, devastated by the effects of Echolalia. “Right here, Faeryn.”

“Good,” Jin commended, rubbing my back in long, firm strokes. “Right here.”

I repeated the phrase multiple times until he began a light hum, trying to evoke a different Echolalia pattern from me. Unlike other times, it wasn’t working.

Jungkook fidgeted anxiously, concern in his doe eyes, but it was soon replaced with the light of an idea. “Yoongi’s song,” he blurted. “Jin, hum her favorite Yoongi song. The one she always plays when she’s nervous or scared.”

Jin complied immediately, and although it didn’t work in the same way, it did so eventually. Gradually. Until I hummed brokenly along with him, only gasping phrases periodically.

“Bad Faeryn,” I croaked, but it sounded more like a question than it previously did.

“Good Faeryn,” they corrected just as quickly as they did before.

“Best Faeryn,” Jungkook murmured with a level of fervor that made me keep crying. “Faeryn is so loved.”

I peeked up at him, eyes swollen and rimmed red. “Loved.”

“So loved,” he whispered.

My breath hitched. “Jungkook—my Jungkook.” A pained whine left me. “Jungkook loves Faeryn.”

“Jungkook loves Faeryn so much,” he agreed with every certainty in the world. “His best girl.”

“Best girl.”

“Best woman.”

I preened, feeling an inch of something less devastating. “Woman,” I echoed. “Woman, woman, woman. Faeryn is a woman. Doesn’t feel like it. Still a woman. Said so—her home said so.”

Jin held me tightly as Jungkook kept speaking uplifting phrases for me to repeat, allowing the praise, adoration, validation, and love within them to seep into me each time I verbalized them after he did.

“Home,” I rasped, still crying after an unknown amount of time passed. “Home!”

“We’ll go home,” Jungkook confirmed. “Right, Jin?”

Jin squeezed me to him for the firm pressure it provided my chest, allowed me to sink into him one last time, and stood with me in his arms. “Home,” he confirmed.

Jungkook opened the door and walked beside us, squeezing my sock-padded feet and rubbing my leg every so often. Lyric, Cheverie, and Kenley stared back at us expectantly, watching me closely for signs of my current mental state.

“Home,” I repeated. “No girls’ night. Home.”

“She will be fine,” Jin stated before they can ask. “We’re taking her home.”

Kenley struggled to speak up. “I’m sorry if this is my fault. Because of…what I said before I knew Faeryn.”

Jin’s jaw clenched, and his eye contact won over hers. She averted her eyes and stared resolutely at the floor.

“Lyric,” Jin prompted, not bothering to hide his anger. “Cheverie; this is your apartment. Kenley is your guest, and as such, she is in your hands.”

Lyric and Cheverie looked at Kenley, and the latter shrunk, the guilt and shame from earlier inching back into her face.

“Jungkook,” Jin ordered. “The door, please.”

“Yeah, of course, hyung,” the younger agreed, hurrying to open it. “We’re going home now, Faeryn, see? Everything’s okay.”

I chewed on Jin’s shirt’s neckline, and he allowed it. “Home now. Faeryn, see? Okay.”

“I will call later,” Jin informed Cheverie and Lyric. “To find the root of the issue.”

“Yeah, sure,” Lyric agreed, whiplashed. “Just take care of her.”

Jin walked me through the front door just as I heard Cheverie tell Lyric, “I’ll drive you to Faeryn’s apartment.”

The night was cold and dark, and I squirmed restlessly. “No lights! Bad Faeryn gets no lights! Stay in dark. Bad Faeryn!”

“We have lights in the car,” Jungkook rushed to say, opening the backseat’s door. “See? Much better. So much light.”

I eyed the lights wearily, still stuck on deciding if they were good enough, and it kept me distracted enough not to repeat Jungkook’s sentences.

Jin buckled me in, taking his time as he ensured I was safely strapped in and felt as safe as I was.

“Home,” I said as my throat and eyes burned. “With Jinnie. Jinnie! No hitting!”

“No hitting,” he said, his features dark with anger, but when he kissed my forehead, it was done with all the tenderness in the world. “We’re taking you home where you’ll be safe and loved. No hitting is allowed at home.”

“He’s right,” Jungkook chimed in. “Only best things like tea, Mr. Stuffins, crochet, and best friends who are your boyfriends.”

I clutched the seatbelt and Jin’s hand, refusing to let him go. “Socks?”

“Yes,” Jin said softly, his anger dimming when his eyes remained on me. “Socks, too.”

Jungkook sat beside me, and with gentle coaxing from him, his hand was enough for me to release Jin’s. I missed it sorely, and I tried to be brave and not cry over the loss, but the tears won.

Jin looked upset in the driver’s seat, but when he reached back over the center console and drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other in mine, his upset eased once we had a hold of each other.

The ride home was a blur with repetitive phrases turning from negative to positive, and even if the negative ones would sneak back in, they were as prominent. With my head lulling from the window to Jungkook’s shoulder, I anticipated his hand through my hair, and his soft fingers didn’t disappoint.

“No hitting.” My eyes fluttered as exhaustion and overstimulation worked together. “Nice hands.”

“No hitting,” Jungkook repeated quietly, continuing to caress my hair. “Only nice hands.”

At home, Jin carried me inside as I mumbled about, my Jinnie, my Jungkook the entire way to the door.

A few of my men were in the living room, but I heard the rest in the game room.

Jimin and Hoseok were watching a movie, but their attention was mine immediately, and tender smiles filled their faces as Namjoon’s, Taehyung’s, and Yoongi’s laughter was heard from the game room.

Tears sprung to my eyes. “Home!”

Notes:

I'M SORRY FOR THE SAD ENDING TO THE CHAPTER OKAY I AM 😭 It had to be done for the plot 💔

Anywayyyy, it makes me so happy that some of you are really liking Kenley T T I started writing her character into the story at the end of 2024, and I've been waitinggg to show her to everyone, and I was a little nervous that she wouldn't be received well, but YAYYYYYYYYYYY happy day :D

I've also recently started liking matcha, so I feel like Kenley hehe I found the perfect matcha formula for me 😼 Do you guys like matcha or coffee better? What's your favorite coffee / matcha order? Give me some recommendations! I'm always getting coffee at a cafe and always making matcha at home 😋 okay I'm rambling BYEEEEEEEEE <33

Chapter 63: The Loss/Fear of Possibility

Summary:

Faeryn and Kenley arrive at a crossroads. Meanwhile, the night before Faeryn's men's comeback, she receives a text from an unknown number and has to make a decision.

 ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Morning came with a dull headache, but I was safely tucked in Jin’s sheets. Blinking as I woke up, warmth encapsulated me, and I looked up to realize he held me in his arms as he scrolled through work emails on his phone, his brows knit together and his hold firm yet gentle.

Relieved, I began to speak before hesitating, unsure if Echolalia still haunted me. My headspace felt different, less vulnerable, so I decided I must be better, and with that light comfort, I hid my face in Jin’s arm. Breathing him in, I sighed appreciatively as he rubbed my back.

He didn’t break the morning’s silence with words, and neither did I.

I heard him set his phone on his bedside table, heard him click it off, and I mewled when he pulled me to rest above him, positioning my face in his neck. His body’s warmth radiated into mine, and without his prompting, a content string of hums left me.

We kept quiet, simply enjoying each other’s presence, and last night’s memory washed over me like a fever. I couldn’t digest it, everything that happened, not when I didn’t fully understand what happened. I didn’t want to trigger anything within me again that I didn’t understand, another episode I didn’t have instructions on how to stop, so I let the silence be silence and focused on breathing.

Silence kept me swaddled close like Jin, tending to me with gentle caresses until it coaxed my eyes closed, and sleep found me once more.

Jin stayed in bed with me as I slept, and I slept until the late afternoon, waking up a few times only to accept water from Jin’s bedside table.

Waking up at 2 PM was disorienting, but Jin was there to ease me into it, pulling me into his arms with Mr. Stuffins between our chests as he took me to his adjoining bathroom. Sitting me on the counter, he helped me brush my teeth, wash my face, and shower. Dressed in one of his long t-shirts and panties from a quick trip to my room, I felt steady enough to walk, and I held fast to his hand when we walked downstairs.

No one was home, and when I looked at Jin, he spoke for the first time since I woke up. “They’re at HYBE.”

I looked at him questioningly.

“They’ll be home tonight,” he responded, caressing the top of my hand with his thumb. “Jimin made tea.”

All he had to do was reheat it in the kettle, and I held my strawberry cup to feel its warmth and texture as I drank, wearily eyeing the fridge Jin opened.

He caught my eye. “French Toast.”

I looked down at my stomach uncertainly.

“Soup,” he proposed.

He had done so much for me last night, so I agreed on soup and tried to swallow it down despite my lack of appetite. When I finished my tea and soup, Jin breathed deeply. I glanced at him. He didn’t say anything.

I put my arms out, and he lifted me, taking me to the living room to watch Camp Cretaceous. With my stomach warm and full, I curled up against him, safe with him and bundled beneath weighted blankets, in and out of sleep.

My eyes were burning with exhaustion when everyone returned for dinner, and I could barely keep them open, but I wordlessly insisted on remaining seated in the kitchen as Jin cooked. He was plating dinner by the time everyone arrived, and I earned kisses from them.

Jin pushed a plate of soup in front of me while everyone ate steak with multiple side dishes. I wasn’t hungry, but I accepted the soup to prevent their worry.

Everyone slowly began light discussions, clueing Jin in on meetings and certain occurrences at work. It was nothing heavy, and while I was listening, lifting and dropping soup back into my bowl, Namjoon prompted me, “How’s your soup, baby?”

I blinked, blushing as I was caught in the act, and pushed out a thumbs-up.

He smiled softly. “Good.”

Jimin said, “I heard that you watched Camp Cretaceous today, honey. I’m sure that was fun with Jin.”

“I hope it was,” Taehyung chimed in. “I was thinking about Bumpy and her new baby. I can’t wait to see what happens in the next season! You too, Faeryn?”

I wanted to talk about it, but my stomach churned, and I felt too scared to try to speak after my Echolalia attack, not wanting it to happen again.

“Don’t bombard her,” Jin instructed when I didn’t seem able to respond, his authority ringing through the room but not at its usual volume—for my sake, I realized. “She’s eating.”

“Sorry, Faeryn,” Taehyung apologized. “You can eat your food; you’re almost done, too.”

I shook my head quickly to refute his apologies, hurried to my feet, and went to his side of the table to hug him. He smiled softly at me and returned my hug strongly, rubbing my back gently.

“I love you,” he murmured near my ear.

I squeezed him tighter and kissed his cheek repeatedly to convey my love, pointing at me, then at him to seal the deal.

Namjoon spoke up. “How are you feeling, baby? Is signing feeling like a little too much today, too?”

I managed a slow nod. In the back of my mind, I thought that any form of communication would evoke Echolalia, even if it was just via sign.

“That’s okay,” he responded with ease, smiling softly when my eyes met his. “Take your time. A break sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

I nodded, and with another kiss to Taehyung, I went to Namjoon next. He kissed me softly, cupping my cheek and offering gentle caresses. “We’re here.”

I hugged him tightly, sniffled, and made my rounds around the table for everyone else, feeling a little better when I returned to my seat.

“A woman on a mission,” Jimin said in his usual teasing tone, laced with a gentle undertone.

I smiled a little and gave another thumbs-up. Soft chuckles filled the room from my men, and it helped me feel better enough to try and eat my soup.

꧁꧂

 

Speech didn’t return until the next day, and exhaustion clung to my bones.

Sitting in my therapist’s room on the brown couch with a flowery throw blanket over the armrest, I talked about everything that happened, and I cried while the rising sun winked through her window. I explained how embarrassed the Echolalia attack made me feel, how helpless I’d felt, how everything had been building up, and how incompetent I felt because I couldn’t keep it from getting to the tipping point.

At 7 AM, I trudged out of her office with swollen eyes, relieved the talk was over at least, which is why I chose the earliest available time slot. I was skipping work again, which only made me feel more incompetent than I already was, but I was not in a state to work, which made me feel worse.

My therapist told me I couldn’t save everyone. I told her I knew that, so she asked me why I still tried.

I didn’t have an answer. She said we would talk more about it in the next session.

Hoseok and Jin stood when I arrived in the waiting room, and they took me out for breakfast. My usual latte brought me an ounce of comfort, but it was stolen when I wondered if I would be mentally prepared enough to join them during their comeback season. What if I were left behind because I couldn’t control when things like this happened? How was I competent when I couldn’t even control that? When sometimes, I couldn’t even speak or walk because of an Autistic shutdown or meltdown?

My therapist said that having Autism wasn’t my fault. I didn’t always feel that way, especially when something like an Echolalia attack happened and put a pause to everyone’s day, but I didn’t tell her that. I was too tired to go through the motions of another argument. She said we didn’t argue, she said we discussed, but when I disagreed with her so often, it felt like an argument to me.

At home, I powered off my phone like my therapist suggested. She said that taking a break could be helpful until I felt more like myself. She told me, “Try to tune out of everything but yourself for a few days. You can’t help anyone until you help yourself.”

I watched Hoseok journal after we took a walk. He let me pick out anything I saw, and he glued it into his journal, claiming how special it was because I found it for him. It didn’t feel special. Everything I touched felt bad.

Bad Faeryn. No home for Faeryn; I wondered if Ryker’s words would ever leave me alone.

When Jin and Hoseok had to join a meeting from their laptops, I sat on the living room floor and watched TV on Jungkook’s iPad; he said I could use it whenever I wanted. I didn’t watch a cartoon; I watched a non-animated movie, so I could feel more competent.

“Sweetheart,” Hoseok murmured, catching my attention halfway through the movie. Still seated on the couch, he told me with his and Jin’s microphones muted, “We’re finishing up here. Do you want to put your shoes on and grab lunch?”

I nodded mutely and turned Jungkook’s iPad off. The movie wasn’t intriguing anyway.

We went to eat Chinese food and dined inside. The change of scenery was nice, but it made me think of the Chinese restaurant from my hometown, and I only ate a few bites of food, unable to get past the building lump of distress in my throat.

Walking on the cobblestone walkway after lunch to help our food settle, Hoseok took one look at my face and asked, “What’s going on?”

I immediately broke down, stammering about how I didn’t feel competent because I couldn’t control the after effects of abuse and how Autism had me headfirst into an Echolalia attack, which was just a really bad meltdown. I already struggled with feeling like a woman, and this made it so much worse.

“I’m sorry,” I kept repeating fitfully. “I don’t want to be a burden. I’ll get better; I’ll fix myself, I promise.”

They soothed me as best as they could, but ended up taking me home for a serious discussion.

I wasn’t a burden, they said. What happened the other day was my body’s way of telling me to take a break, they said. They wouldn’t leave no matter what, they said. Healing wasn’t linear, they said. I was under a lot of stress and doing the best I could, they said. Autism was a part of me, and they loved every part of me, they said.

All I heard was them making excuses for why I was failing at being a functioning adult in society, a functioning woman.

I didn’t believe them, but I nodded along anyway, too exhausted for another argument or disagreement. Unfortunately, they saw right through me.

Hoseok asked, “How does a shower with Jin sound? The hot water should help with relaxation.”

My lip trembled. “You don’t want to shower with me?”

He cupped my face, and his expression looked so sad that it halted my questioning right in its steps. “You’re in pain, sweetheart.” His brows wavered until they furrowed. “I want to do whatever it takes to make you feel better, and while I find what I need, I want you to try to relax in the shower with Jin. He’ll take care of you, help you wash up, and hopefully, that will help. If not, we still have my idea, but I can’t get my idea ready if I shower with you.”

He caressed my cheek, murmuring, “Okay?”

I nodded tearfully. “But I want to shower by myself, even if Jin’s with me. I can do it.”

“We know you can,” Hoseok confirmed gently. “Being cared for doesn’t mean you can’t care for yourself. I want him to care for you in the shower because it can help you shift into a lighter, less tumultuous headspace. Okay? Do you think you can let him help you feel cared for?”

Slightly defeated, I nodded. “I can.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, kissing the tip of my nose. “I’ll see you after.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

I stood numbly in the shower as Jin washed my hair and body. The water felt more scalding than comforting, and Jin’s care felt more like a threat—as if I allowed it too much, I would forget how to care for myself. However, much to my surprise, he handed me his Autumn Drive body wash. I looked up at him, confused.

“Balance,” he murmured, using my fingers to gently open the body wash, “is important.”

As I soothed the body wash onto his body, the water suddenly felt warmer. Safer. And the steam clinging to the bathroom felt like a hug and not like an unrelenting grip. Once we were finished, I felt slightly calmer, and my racing thoughts eased into more of a jog.

We found Hoseok in his room with his laptop open and ready. Claiming a spot between him and Jin, I settled in as Hoseok explained what we were going to watch. I agreed wearily, wincing with embarrassment at first, but soon, I began to settle.

The videos were about Autistic people’s first hand recaps of how trauma could amplify and push them into a meltdown, what they did to ease and manage it before it could get to that point, what to do before, between, and after, how it lost its fear for them, and how it affected their lives. I felt heard and seen, especially when women spoke of it.

It was a lot of information to process, but seeing people speak freely about similar trauma as I’d been through made me feel less alone. The knots in my stomach began to untangle, even if just a little. And I took the inch of relief gratefully.

When the others returned home, I received kisses from everyone. It made me feel a little better. Proved that things hadn’t completely fallen out from beneath me. Shaky ground, wet cement. But my men weren’t shaky, and they were strongly sealed. I believed our love was the same if they continued to stick around despite my trauma and Autism.

My phone remained on the next day, but per my request, I kept it with Taehyung and told him to tell me if Lyric, Cheverie, or Kenley texted me. They had, so I asked him to let them know I was okay and taking a break to try to feel better, ensuring they knew it was at no fault of their own.

Two days passed. Then three. It was almost Friday, when the lease stated I would check in to see the condition of my apartment. By Friday, I was highly worried about Kenley and whether she was okay. Jin was not so subtle with his frustration toward me seeing her again, but he respected my wishes, and he and Namjoon drove me to check my apartment around 7 PM.

She opened the door. And she was a mess.

“Kenley,” I breathed out, beside myself with worry. “Are you okay? What happened?”

She stared at me, her lips parting slightly. She stepped forward an inch or two. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I—” I looked around the apartment from where I stood. “Did something bad happen?”

“Something bad happened to you.” She was still looking at me when I looked back at her, and I jolted at the direct eye contact. “It has been days since you had that meltdown. I was very worried.” She checked my face quickly. “Are you sick?”

My eyes welled with tears. “Maybe,” I said brokenly.

“You are not sick,” Jin said sharply, stepping into the apartment and putting himself by my side but slightly in front. “She is fine, Kenley. We are here to conduct a routine check of the apartment, and then we’ll leave.”

“You can go ahead,” Namjoon told Jin. “We’ll stay here and chat for a second.”

Jin clenched his jaw, loath to leave me. “Faeryn,” he eventually prompted. “What would you prefer?”

I sniffled, struggling to rein myself back in. “I’m fine. I’ll stay here.”

He bit back his displeasure toward Kenley and nodded. “I won’t be long.”

While he checked the apartment, Namjoon told Kenley, “Faeryn won’t be around here as much for a little while. You can call the upper floor at HYBE if you need to contact us regarding the apartment, and I’ll give you that number. Otherwise, she needs to rest and take time away.”

Kenley’s gaze shifted. “From me?” Her throat tightened, and her fingers flew to it. “I suspected it was my fault. I thought about it, and I must have hurt your feelings too much and too often without realizing it, and it made you feel sick.”

She tugged and tugged the skin of her throat. “Do not come to see me. I will call HYBE if I have questions about the apartment, but not your phone line.”

“No,” I insisted, upset. “It’s not your fault, and my meltdown wasn’t your fault either. I…I think everything just built up, and…” I hesitated. “Maybe what you said about me behind my back hurt my feelings, but you already apologized for that.”

Namjoon put a protective hand on my back. “It doesn’t make it hurt less.”

I managed a nod. “But it doesn’t make it all of your fault, Kenley, okay? Because it’s not, and I haven’t been texting anyone else, so if you think I’m just not texting you, that’s not true. My therapist suggested that I focus on myself for a few days.”

She nodded as she took this in. “Yes, okay.” She sounded guilty. “I know I already apologized, but I am so sorry for what I said before I knew you.” Upset, she spat out, “I should’ve never believed Ryker. He is a hateful, hateful, abusive person.”

“It’s not all on you,” I pressed on. “You knew Ryker’s facade better than you knew me. When I warned you about him, that was the first time we ever even met, so of course you were going to believe him and badmouth me instead of him. With the two options you had, the choice was obvious.”

“What he did to me should’ve been more obvious,” she countered, growing more upset. “I should have known.”

“Then I should’ve known, too,” I pointed out. “But we didn’t, okay? Because he’s a master manipulator. It isn’t our fault that we wanted him to be a kind person. I know badmouthing isn’t kind,” I added, “but I really think that you are kind. You really try, and I know that it can be hard sometimes because people can be confusing and you don’t know who to trust, especially after abuse. It’s okay,” I insisted. “I never blame my meltdowns on people. I have meltdowns because I’m not regulating properly, everything piles up, and then I’m crashing into a meltdown.”

“But I was still a part of what made you get to that crashing point,” she said with a quick, sharp shake of her head. “I am very sorry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but it feels like I always am.”

“It’s okay,” I tried to reassure her. “I know.”

She shook her head, growing distressed. “No, it is not okay. I hurt you.”

“You apologized, okay? And when you accidentally hurt my feelings, you don’t have any bad intent, right?”

“No,” she agreed slowly. “But that doesn’t matter since I’m still hurting you.”

“Everyone’s feelings get hurt sometimes, but you’re learning who I am as a person, and you ask to make sure that something you said didn’t upset me. If it did, you apologize and don’t say it again.”

“I hurt you,” she repeated.

“Kenley—”

“No,” she cut me off, stepping back. “You shouldn’t be around me anymore. I’m—I only hurt people. That is what my siblings said, and my parents, and my study group friends. I am always hurting someone’s feelings, Faeryn, and it is so exhausting, but now it is—I think it is even more exhausting because no one has ever been as kind to me as you are, except for Ryker at the beginning, but that was all manipulation.

“I know that is not what you’re doing,” she continued at full force, her hands beginning to shake. “Your formula is different from his. You care about everyone, and the people that care about you care about you so intensely because you are ‘Just Faeryn’.” She took two more steps back. “It hurts even more when I accidentally hurt your feelings because of how kind you are, so you shouldn’t be around me anymore.”

I choked back my distress. “No, it’s okay.”

“It isn’t,” she said quietly but resolutely.

Unsure how to prove that aside from her badmouthing, her bluntness and way of speech were nowhere near that big of a deal, I blurted, “I want to be your friend.” She blinked, taken aback. “I don’t have a lot of friends, and I think you’re really cool and smart, and I like how much you like Monopoly—and I don’t like matcha, but I like taste testing it with you.”

She slowly turned her head from side to side. “You want to be my friend,” she said eventually.

I nodded tentatively.

She was thinking hard; her eyes kept flickering around the room until, eventually, they landed on me. “I saw how you were with Lyric and Cheverie. They adore you, and your men do, too.” Her smile was foreign and wavering. “Even if I don’t know it, I am the bad person in this equation.”

I shook my head quickly. “You’re not a bad person.”

“It’s okay,” she said to my refusal. “When I’m a lawyer, maybe I will help more people than I’ve hurt.” Her eyes dropped to the floor. “Maybe I will show certain clients Monopoly and teach them about…parallel play to help them feel calm when everything else feels chaotic.”

Her fingers pinched her throat, and not allowing me to get a word in, she concluded, “Thank you for trying to be my friend.” Her smile was gone. “I’m sorry that I made it so hard.”

Jin reappeared. “Everything is fine.” He jutted his chin toward the door, having heard none of our conversation. “We can leave.”

I looked at Kenley, afraid her frenzied eyes, untamed hair, and stained pajamas would become a permanent state when she was all alone. “What about making your parents believe you?” I asked anxiously. “Do you still have a plan?”

“We are not friends,” she responded. “You don’t need to know about my life.” She stepped back, struggling to mask the pain her expression held. “I will see your harem on Friday for the next apartment check.”

“But I can come—”

“But you won’t.” She entered the living room where her college course books were laid out. “Goodbye. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Jin put a hand on my shoulder and gently shifted me forward, giving me leeway to refuse, but I didn’t. Namjoon looked conflicted, and the pain sketched into my face only amplified it.

“Kenley,” he began. “If you want to talk about this, you can call HYBE. We can set up something if you don’t want to text Faeryn directly.”

With a bit of difficulty, she shook her head. “No,” she said quietly, adding a beat after, “No, thank you.”

Jin looked between us, raising a brow at Namjoon; a wordless inquiry of what happened?

Namjoon shook his head slightly, an indication that they would talk about it later. Jin dipped his chin in agreement and lowered his hand to my waist, a firm and steady hold to stabilize and reassure me.

“You can text me,” I told her quickly, feeling tears burn the back of my eyes. “Or leave a voicemail.”

She slowly made her way to her room and closed the door. The conversation was over, and I tried not to cry as we left the apartment, locking up behind us.

I wasn’t sure what hurt more: knowing Kenley thought she was a bad person, or knowing I failed at making a friend again.

꧁꧂

 

After a few more sessions with my therapist, speaking more in depth about trauma responses, how Autism could amplify it, and that I had nothing to be ashamed about, I felt less guilty and afraid of my meltdowns. The fear of them wasn’t completely gone, but they never had been; I hated how involuntary they felt, like even if my mind was telling me that I was okay, I couldn’t stop experiencing the meltdown. I often ruminated about how strange it must be for my men to see me in that state. I tried not to let it embarrass me, and although rumination proved that to be difficult, their filial love and reassuring words helped ease that embarrassment.

Their comeback would happen in less than a month. I hadn’t seen Kenley for around the same time. And I didn’t want to play Monopoly again.

꧁꧂

 

I worried myself sick about my inability to save people, specifically Kenley and Ryker’s future victims.

I wiped my mouth after I vomited into the toilet. My senses went haywire; the vomit on my lips, face, and hands—I broke down, crying and unable to move from the toilet.

Hoseok found me soon after, breathing heavily as he hurried into the bathroom. My name left his lips quickly in alarm, but when he realized what occurred, he flew into action.

Checking to see if any area was in pain, he came to the conclusion I was in more mental pain than anything else and lifted me to sit on the sink’s counter, wetting a towel and dabbing my face and hands with it.

“Breathe,” he instructed, carefully washing my face. “It will pass, just breathe.”

When I continued failing, he brought me to his chest by the back of my head, allowing me to hear his heartbeat. I tried to copy its gentle rhythm, although slightly elevated from the sight of my pain, and when my tears turned to sniffles, he coaxed me into the bath.

He used my favorite pink bath bomb and mixed it with yellow, negating the harsh sensory issues the vomit had caused. I played with the water absently, embarrassed by my show of weakness, but Hoseok’s sweet words urged a tentative smile from me.

“There you are,” he murmured. “Oh, my pretty girl.” He cupped my cheek, sitting on the rug beside the tub. Quieter, he said almost beneath hearing capacity, “You’re far too kind for your own good.” He kissed my cheek. “Your heart is far too sweet.”

I sniffled. “Your sweetheart.”

“That’s right.” He splashed water lightly at me, drawing another shy smile from me. “My sweetheart.”

I took a stammered breath, still finding its normalcy. “I didn’t mean to vomit. It was an accident.”

“There’s no reason to apologize.” He shook his head, dipping his face to mine when I looked away. “Your body is telling you to let go.”

I glanced at him. “Of vomit?”

He chuckled. “That too, but more so of what you’re holding on to in here.” He kissed my forehead. “Your empathy is getting bigger than you.”

I choked up. “It feels like it’s eating me alive, and just now, it came up in the toilet, but it will come back.”

The smile and chuckle that I drew from him faded. “Oh, Faeryn.”

I paid close attention to the water. “I’m doing everything my therapist says to do, even if I don’t see how it will help. I’m waiting for Kenley to contact me, if she ever does, I’m not seeing Ryker, even if he could have found another victim, and I’m verbalizing that meltdowns aren’t my fault, but nothing feels any different.”

“Feelings change all the time,” he said softly. “But it can take time for the change to happen.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t like that formula.”

“No.” He smiled a bit. “No, it’s not the best one, but once the long, good change happens, that means it will take even longer for anything to shake it—if anything at all.”

A taste of hope met my tongue in the warm bath. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so.” He nuzzled his nose against mine before kissing it tenderly. “Don’t give up just yet. There is so much good left to find still, and when you find it, the bad will be so far away, you can hardly feel it anymore.”

I shuddered with relief. “I hope so.”

“It will happen.” He pushed the water around with his hand, and I found it for a squeeze. “We’ll get through it together.”

“Because we’re a team,” I said tremulously.

“Because we’re a team,” he confirmed.

I traced the water with my fingers for a while before peeking up at him. “Hobi?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight? Even if I have my blankets, I’ll still be cold because you’re warmer than my blankets.”

I did my best to push out what I hoped to be a cheeky smile, knowing it would alleviate any possible worry he was holding.

He smiled softly. “Of course you can.” He kissed my cheek. “My bed is always open to you.”

My smile felt a little more real, and he noticed. I figured he noticed everything but chose not to speak on certain things to keep me from feeling embarrassed.

“Okay,” I breathed out. “I can’t wait to be warm in your bed. Can we watch TV?” I flicked my fingers anxiously. “Maybe…a sitcom or something like…war.”

“Something like war?” he repeated. I didn’t make a follow-up. “I think Camp Cretaceous would be fun to watch. I’m in the mood for it. What about you?”

I perked up slightly but quickly deflated. “I…”

“Sweetheart,” he murmured. “Watching animated shows doesn’t make you incompetent.”

My throat clamped up. I hated how seeing Ryker when Kenley went to our old apartment brought all of these feelings back up. It felt like I was taking a huge step back in my healing journey. “I’m a woman, even if I watch animated shows or movies.” I hesitated and looked at Hoseok, unsure.

“You are,” he said with firm yet kind decision. “There’s no age limit for animation.”

I shifted in the bath, causing the water to ripple. “Okay,” I whispered. “My mind just feels…muddled for a while after I see Ryker, but it…it feels like it’s dragging on because I keep ruminating over what happened with Kenley and how we can’t be friends.”

He nodded his understanding. “I know it’s a lot. If you give her time, she might come to you. From what you and Namjoon said about the conversation, she doesn’t want to see or talk to you, so she doesn’t hurt your feelings. She seems to want to be your friend too, sweetheart, but she’s never had a real friend, so she doesn’t know how to make one.”

“It’s so upsetting,” I whispered. “With pattern recognition, she’ll learn what phrases and words are upsetting, and then everything will be okay.”

“With time, she might see that,” he responded softly. “It takes time, and she’s going through a lot. She lost everything.”

“Which is why I’m so worried,” I lamented. “She doesn’t have anyone.”

“Right now, she knows she could talk to you or call HYBE, so we can let you know that she wants to talk to you. If she really needs someone, she knows what to do.”

I managed a small nod, his words making me feel a little better. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” he murmured, squeezing my hand. “Talking more about it with your therapist will help. The coping mechanisms she’s been giving you are helpful, aren’t they?”

“A little,” I admitted. “Ruminating is just frustrating, and it’s annoying that meltdowns can come out of nowhere.”

“There was a lot building up to it.” He sighed softly. “We could see it coming.”

“You could?” I asked, surprised.

“The others and I saw it from the outside,” he confirmed. “Which is why we wanted to talk to you about what Lohee said about you, but then your girls’ night happened, and everything manifested into a meltdown. It isn’t your fault,” he gently reminded me. “It can happen, but that’s what these new coping mechanisms are for: to help you regulate and take a step back before it gets to that point.”

“I just don’t like it,” I said quietly.

“I know,” he confirmed, finding my hand in the water for a reassuring squeeze. “Ruminating over meltdowns isn’t fun, not when we would be talking about one of your special interests.”

I slowly looked at him, my attention piqued. “Like what?”

“Whichever one you want.”

“Mm…” I looked around as I thought. “I’ll talk about dinosaurs.”

“Okay.” His smile was back. “I’m listening.”

I talked about dinosaurs until the bath water turned cold, when he lifted me in a towel and took me to his room, dressed me, and pulled me beneath the blankets with him. He had a secret stash of snacks in his room, and I giggled, feeling mischievous and giddy to be a part of something secret with him.

Sharing a bag of popcorn, he kept me snugly pressed to him, even after I relaxed while watching Camp Cretaceous. I was nervous at first due to memories of Ryker calling me childish for watching animation, but eventually, I felt how I usually felt when watching my favorite animated show: content, safe, and happy to have my special interest fed. I was still a woman.

As the days passed, I slowly came back into myself. Their comeback was approaching, and I was feeling better.

I could go; I could still go, and the idea of having a break from work and in-office therapy sessions was a relief. I would still take them virtually just like Yoongi would, but this would be a break, I decided, and I desperately needed one, even if vacation was not so long ago. So much had happened since then.

The night before their comeback, they sat me down to run me through everything for what felt like the hundredth time. I appreciated their concern, and I let them continue more for their peace of mind than mine.

They were worried about me losing sleep to be there so early in the morning, so I reminded them we had planned for this and refitted my sleep schedule so that wouldn’t happen. Then, they were worried I wasn’t eating enough because of the sleep schedule change, so I assured them that I had been eating like usual, with plenty of examples to prove it. After that, they were worried the environmental change would exhaust me despite the sleep schedule adjustment. At that point, I put my hand up, halting Namjoon mid-sentence.

“What is it?” he asked immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, cracking a small smile. Although their worry was stifling, it was sweet. “But you’re worrying about what could go wrong. I’ll be okay, and you should be worrying about yourselves and how much energy you’ll need to get through this comeback. All I have to do is sit there and watch.”

“And you’ll look so pretty while doing it,” Jimin teased fondly.

My smile grew, and to make them laugh, I flipped my hair. “I know it.”

Chuckles left them, and eager for the tension to ease, I jumped to my feet and declared, “So don’t worry! I’ll be just fine—more than fine actually, because I’ll get to see all of you comeback in person for the first time ever, and I’m super excited. Aren’t you excited?”

Their agreement filled the room, and encouraged, I pressed, “So why are we sitting here worrying? We should be celebrating! Right?!”

The worry seeped from their faces, soon to be replaced with smiles and grins. Agreement was chorused right back at me, and I squealed when Jin stood and swept me into his arms, surprising me with a deep kiss.

When he pulled away, he bumped our noses together affectionately. “Let’s celebrate.”

Giggling as he twirled me around a few final times, I burst into laughter when I saw Jungkook try to do the same with Yoongi. He was almost successful, but he hadn’t taken into account Yoongi’s new gym body, making him fall onto his bottom due to a lack of preparation.

Jungkook giggled, slightly embarrassed, but was quick to jump back up to try again. Yoongi didn’t stop him, hiding a small smile as Jungkook succeeded, wrapping both arms around the back of Yoongi’s legs and spinning him around, much to the amusement of everyone.

Once I was set down, Jungkook was satisfied with his spinning and put Yoongi down, yelping in surprise when Yoongi lifted him easily and spun him around, only to release him onto the couch with a light, gentle toss.

Jungkook bounced before settling on the couch, blinking with wide eyes as everyone laughed and clapped at Yoongi’s show of strength. The latter shuffled, proud but shy, and smiled a bit when Jungkook caught his eye.

Jungkook jumped up. “You threw me!”

Yoongi nodded. “I did.”

Jungkook’s bunny smile appeared with a sense of giddiness. “Again?”

More laughter ensued, especially when Yoongi agreed, and we watched a repeat of moments before, but this time, Jungkook’s surprise was replaced with giggles.

From the couch, Namjoon tugged Jungkook to him, laughing and ruffling his hair.

“You’re getting your Yoongi hyung to throw you, huh?” he teased, tickling his side. “Getting him all tired out before our comeback?”

Jungkook laughed through his protests, tickling Namjoon in response, and I beamed at the pleasant scene before me.

Walking up to Taehyung, I pulled him off the couch. “Come on!”

He was already smiling, even if he wasn’t sure where we were going. “Come on?”

“You have to dance with me! That’s what they do at celebrations, right?”

He grinned, and slipping his arm around my waist, he tugged us chest to chest. “You’re right.”

I settled on the top of his feet, grinning mischievously up at him. “Okay. Dance.”

Laughing, he kept hold of me as he performed the dance of their upcoming comeback song, and I clung to him so I wouldn’t fall, enjoying every second of it. Halfway into it, I was switched onto Hoseok’s feet so effortlessly I blinked, blushing and beaming as Hoseok swept me around the living room, guiding me through the movements.

I wasn’t a good dancer, but Hoseok was a good teacher—the best, even—and I followed along as the minutes passed. His warm hand on my waist and his arms around me, a flurry of butterflies erupted in my stomach as he performed the moves with ease and guided me in the same way.

“Hoseok,” I whispered as the others either laughed amongst themselves while Jungkook and Taehyung tag-teamed Yoongi and swung his arms up and down in a dance.

He pulled me closer. “Hm?”

“You’re a—I mean, you’re a really good dancer.” I swallowed. “Really good.”

He started to smile. “Yeah, sweetheart?” He dipped his face to mine, brushing our lips together. “Do you like dancing with me?”

I shivered and conveyed my sincere agreement through a kiss.

After a few of the others decided to join our dancing and we ended up a happy, content group, we decided to spoil ourselves with a late-night movie in the game room before their comeback schedule happened.

The next night, my men had an early dinner at HYBE to allow them to sleep once we arrived at home. They would get adequate sleep before waking up at 2 AM for their comeback stage.

They ordered Chinese Food for me, so as they slept, I ate dinner in the living room, chewing my food mindlessly as I watched Camp Cretaceous to settle my nerves for tomorrow. I was most nervous about being around so many strangers in the dressing room without any familiar faces, but I would use my practice social skills and small talk to get through it. At least Jaehyun would be there, someone I knew.

Startled out of my TV watching by my phone buzzing, I reached around until I found it beneath a couch pillow. Squinting at the screen, my heart plummeted into my stomach.

My heart thumped wildly.

The only time I left my phone unattended was when Ryker took my bag and Mr. Stuffins—he had looked through my phone. What other private information did he have? Did he figure out the password to my bank app? Did he have my friend’s numbers and the men’s numbers, too?

I felt sick, and at that moment, there was no one to comfort me, no one to tell me they would protect me, and I was tired of this push and pull with the man who abused me and insisted it was my fault.

I was so tired of being afraid of him and angry for what he put me and Kenley through that for a moment, I entered a blinding, white rage that pushed my fingers to fly.

The chat bubble popped up, disappeared, reappeared, and left altogether.

With shaking fingers, I navigated to my cellular provider’s app and hovered my thumb over change number.

And I went through the process of changing my number like Yoongi showed me how to before. Ryker would take me to court whether I blocked him or not; he was playing mind games, and my mind was too tired to play along anymore. I wanted it to be over, even if it meant pushing through something difficult I shouldn’t have to push through; yes, I would go to court, and yes, I would win.

I knew I would win; I had the proof, and he knew it, too. He wasn’t expecting me to agree to a court proceeding, and neither was I, but one would occur.

I would do it for myself and Kenley, and all of his future victims.

But mainly, I would do it for myself. I couldn’t live like this anymore. I was too tired of being scared of a man I didn’t live with anymore, as if the mention of his name could hurt me.

I was done.

Notes:

how do we think this is going to end...?

Chapter 64: A Secret Isn't A Lie if Properly Kept

Summary:

Faeryn's men's comeback is today! Unfortunately, the court proceedings are making things a little complicated for her, but she's quick to recruit her friends for advice, not wanting to bother her men on their big day.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

 

“Hey,” Taehyung began, confused at the breakfast table as everyone rushed around. “Why aren’t my texts going through?”

“Mine are going through fine,” Jimin responded after shooting one off to a member of their staff. “It might be your service.”

Taehyung frowned at his phone. “Everything else is working fine, but it won’t let my message be sent to Faeryn.”

I made a quick escape before I could be pulled into the conversation and reveal what happened last night, instead readying myself in my room for when we would leave.

I didn’t want their worry for me to distract them from their big day. They deserved to enjoy today; I was there for them today. They had a stoic front, but I knew they were anxious to see their fans after so long and worried to get the moves and pitch correct. They didn’t need to hear about me right now; they needed to hear me reassure and cheer them on.

They’d done so much for me; it was my turn.

Nodding determinedly at myself in the mirror, I grabbed my purse, slipped my shoes on, and hurried downstairs.

“Ready?” I asked, out of breath from running and quite pleased that I hadn’t tripped.

“Just about,” Namjoon responded, doing a double take when he saw me. His lips eased into a surprised smile. “Look at you.”

I twirled slightly, showcasing the pink dress. “Do you like it?”

He gestured me forward, holding my waist as I pressed onto my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I love it.” Returning my kiss to my cheek, he said against it, “You got all dolled up for us?”

I blushed. “Maybe.”

“Hm. ‘Maybe’ has never looked so good.”

I beamed and hugged him as tightly as I could without wrinkling my dress. “Thank you! I’m going to be cheering you on the whole time.”

He squeezed me tightly to him. “We’re excited to have you with us.” He pulled away, and his smile was prominent as the side of his knuckles ghosted my cheek. “Your first comeback with us.”

I nodded eagerly. “So come on; let’s go!”

He laughed when I took his hand and pulled him out the door, calling to the others to hurry up.

I pushed myself as far into teasing and jokes as I could to distract myself from anxiety just as much as it was to distract them from their anxiety. It seemed to work for them, and in turn, it eased my anxiety slightly knowing they felt a little better.

Once we arrived and they introduced me to staff members I didn’t know, they were hurried around the room to be prepped for their stage. It took around two hours, and by that time, the stage and fans were ready for them.

“It’s a pre-recording,” I reminded Jungkook as he paced the dressing room, whispering the lyrics to their song as if he would forget them. “You can always try again.”

“I know,” he agreed, but his voice was higher than usual. “It’s just been so long, and I want to impress the fans.” His features were wound tightly. “They’ve been waiting so patiently, and they’re always so supportive. I want to give back in some way, and talking and giving them the best performance I can is what I can do.”

“They’re really kind,” I confirmed, holding my hands out for him to take them. He hesitated but relented, letting me pull him to sit beside me. “So they’ll understand if you make a little mistake. Besides, they always record a few times to make sure they have the right footage. Right? Taehyung said that.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “That’s true.”

“I know you’re still anxious,” I murmured, squeezing his thigh reassuringly. “But it’s okay to be anxious and still have fun.”

“Thank you.” He hugged me, careful not to wrinkle either of our clothing. “I’m so happy you’re here. I know I’m still anxious, but knowing you’re cheering us on makes me excited, too.” He kissed my cheek, whispering for us, “I love you.”

I patted his back repeatedly in a funny pattern like I’d seen Taehyung do before, something that always made him smile, and it didn’t fail now, earning a giggle from him.

I smiled brightly at the sound. “I love you, too.”

He kissed my cheek. “My ducky.”

“My Jungkook,” I said cheerily when we pulled away, “who’s going to do so, so good on stage!”

He puffed his chest out proudly. “Yeah, I will. I’ll do so, so good and make you and ARMY proud.”

“You always make me proud,” I said, touched. “Always.”

He melted. “Thank you.”

“I would kiss you,” I whispered, my eyes darting around at the staff. “But your makeup is on, and they’ll get mad.”

He giggled and stole a kiss before I could comprehend it. “Not if they don’t see,” he said cheekily.

I grinned and kissed him back, keeping it quick so I wouldn’t ruin anything.

In the corner of the room, Hoseok was running through the dance with Yoongi, showing him how to make movements sharper like they’d previously talked about. Yoongi’s features were pinched tightly with focus, and he followed Hoseok’s movements to confirm he understood.

“Okay,” Namjoon announced from near the door, waving the rest of my men over. “They’re ready for us.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he swallowed roughly.

“It’s okay,” I reassured. “Go have fun, and say hi to your fans!”

He nodded, took a deep breath, and kissed me one last time. “For good luck,” he told me, then kissed me again. “And because I love you.”

He hurried away to join the others, and when they turned to see me before leaving, their features loosened tension for a smile. I returned it heartily and waved, calling, “You’re going to do so good!”

Once they left, I looked at the TV we had in the room with the rest of the staff—including Jaehyun—allowing us to monitor their stage.

They were incredible, even during their practice takes, even when they said they made mistakes and asked for a redo, and even when they were out of breath. They were incredible, and their smiles were radiant as they spoke to their fans, inquiring how they’d been and talking to them between takes.

My heart just about burst, and I couldn’t stop smiling, so solely focused on them that I barely realized Jaehyun took the empty seat beside me until he handed me a donut wrapped in a napkin.

When I stared at him, surprised out of my focus, he laughed a bit. “Come on, Petal. Breakfast.” He shook the donut lightly, causing a few crumbs to land on the couch. “Jungkook said the white-powdered ones are your favorite.”

At the mention of Jungkook, I started to smile bashfully and accepted the donut. “Thanks. I was just so focused on watching.”

“Yeah, I could tell.” He sat back, laughing as he bit into his chocolate-glazed donut. “Your eyes have been glued to the TV since they left the room.”

“I’m cheering them on,” I attested assiduously. “I promised I would, and they’re doing so good!”

“They always do,” he confirmed proudly. “They work hard.”

“So hard,” I agreed with quick nods. “They’re the best.”

“Best?”

Out of sheer familiarity, repetition, and Echolalia, I concluded, “You’re the best!” Pausing, I blinked at him.

He grinned like he couldn’t believe it. “That actually worked.”

My brows wavered. “I’m not a parrot.”

“What? Who said you were a parrot?” He raised his brows. “I just wanted to join in the thing you have with the guys—or your harem, as Lyric calls them.” He peered into his face, his laughter dwindling. “I wasn’t making fun of you or anything.” He tapped his donut against mine. “Just eat up.”

“That’s our thing,” I said protectively. “I didn’t mean to say it to you.”

He looked bad. “Shit, Petal, it’s my bad. I thought it would be fun.”

“You thought I would be fun? Just another joke?”

He paused, assessed, and tilted his head slowly. “What’s up with you? Who said you were a parrot?”

I pushed the memory of Ryker calling me a stupid parrot whenever Echolalia squeezed words out of me. “Nothing is up with me. I want to watch them perform.”

“They’re taking a break, and you’re hiding something.” He crossed one leg over the other, leaning closer, which only made me lean back. “Jungkook hid something once. Anger was first. Lashing out. Hiding things. Then he broke down. You know that.”

My breath caught in my throat. “What are you saying?”

“Your asshole ex.” He sniffed distastefully. “He bothering you?”

I blinked. “He’s…” I considered how to speak without telling a lie. “Always bothering me in some way.”

“You’re being vague, Petal. I don’t like that.” He bit into his donut, watching me closely as he chewed. “The guys know?”

“Don’t say anything,” I whispered urgently.

His brows shot up. “What happened?”

Knowing I couldn’t lie without being seen right through and not wanting to anyway, I sighed my defeat and set my donut down.

Looking around to ensure no one was eavesdropping, I whispered, “He texted me last night.”

“How?” he pressed. “Lyric said you changed your number; she mentioned it when she got a text from you with your new number—well, current number now.”

“I…” I folded the donut into the napkin. “I left my bag and phone and…Mr. Stuffins at a shop when I saw him, and he took my things and remembered my passcode.”

“Shit.” He rubbed his face, exasperated as he loosed a breath. “The guys know about this? They got your things back?”

“They got everything back,” I confirmed. “This was a while ago. It’s when they first met Kenley.”

“Kenley…?”

“She’s his ex, and she’s…kind of living in my apartment because her parents believed him over her.”

“What the actual fuck?”

I winced. “He’s a good liar when you don’t know who he really is.”

“No, I get it.” He wiped his hand over his face, shaking his head. “How do you think Jungkook’s management is still out there getting high paying jobs and respect? Liars are good at what they do; they lie and get away with it until they’re finally caught. Your ex will get what’s coming to him.” He squinted. “What?”

“What?” I asked.

“Your face—what’s that face for?”

I continued folding and unfolding the napkin. “So, I…might have told Ryker I was taking him to court when he texted me last night. He threatened to take me if he found out that I blocked him, and then I changed my number.” I cleared my throat. “Again.”

“Shitttt. And the guys have no idea?” He craned his neck to get a better look at me. “You okay?”

“They don’t know,” I said, worried. “So don’t tell them. I’m going to, I promise, but I didn’t want them to worry while they were having their comeback stage.”

He whistled lowly. “That’s pretty badass of you.”

“Bad…ass?” I blinked at him. “Really?”

“You’ve been sitting with this all night and morning, cracking jokes and being all smiles for them.” He crossed his arms and rested his head against the wall. “Yeah. Badass.” He chuckled, closing his eyes. “Lyric’s rubbed off on you.”

I scuffed the floor with my shoes. “Cheverie, too. She’s badass.”

“A badass trio of friends, then.” He peeked an eye open. “I won’t tell them.”

“Promise?”

“What, are we gonna pinky promise?” He held his pinky out. “Come on, then. Give it here.”

“I don’t need to do that,” I said, embarrassed.

“Yeah, well.” He grabbed my pinky and linked it with his, shaking a few times. “I promise.”

I clutched my pinky once I had it back, rubbing it to soothe it.

He closed his eyes again. “They’re going to be pissed.”

I froze. “At me?”

“No, at your ex.”

“Oh.” I nodded, relieved. “Yeah. I think they’re always pissed at him.”

“And Kenley’s good? She must be fucking traumatized.”

“She’s…” I managed a nod. “I think she’s okay. Jin says she’s studying and going to work.”

“Yeah, I bet it’s awkward to talk to her yourself, seeing as you share the same ex and all.”

“It’s not awkward,” I defended hotly. “We were almost friends.”

He slowly peeked his eye open. “Almost?”

I folded my arms fitfully. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I glanced at him. “But she likes Monopoly, Strawberry Matcha, pumpkin muffins, and formulas. And she isn’t incompetent.”

He kept looking at me. “Okay then.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Okay then.”

“If you know so much about her, why aren’t you friends?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, startling myself. “Sorry, I…I’m sorry for snapping.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine.” He folded his arms behind his neck. “I’m just being nosy.”

I shrugged, disheartened.

“Hey.” He gestured to my donut. “Don’t let your shitty ex ruin your appetite.”

I poked the donut. “I’m not hungry.”

“What did I just say, Petal?”

I took a big bite of the donut, making him laugh.

“Jesus,” he howled. “I didn’t say devour it in one bite.”

When I choked on my surprise, white powder spewed out of my mouth, and he laughed and laughed but jumped up to get my napkins. Everyone looked at me, and I glared at Jaehyun, even as he wiped my face. Tearing the napkin from him, I said snappishly, “Don’t wipe my face.”

He puts his hands up. “Just trying to clean up the mess I made.”

I chucked the last piece of my donut at him, spreading powder all over his black shirt.

“Oh yeah,” he said drily. “Very nice.” He pulled his shirt away from his chest slightly to shake off the crumbs. “I just bought this.”

“Well, just buy another one!” I sputtered indignantly.

He made a move as if he was going to ruin my dress with donut powder, and I shrieked my protests, putting my hands out to protect myself.

“Jaehyun, cut it out,” one of my men’s stylists scolded. “If they see you messing with her, they’ll kick your ass whether or not you’re friends with them.”

“I didn’t do anything too bad,” Jaehyun said in his defense, but he was laughing. “Did you see her face?”

I threw my napkin at him, upset when it landed between us instead of on him. He just laughed some more but slowly stopped when he saw my face.

“I’m just teasing,” he told me. When I didn’t respond, he lifted the napkin and placed it on his lap. “See? You hit your mark.”

I huffed and turned to the side.

“I’m just trying to make you laugh,” he continued, a bit more somber than before. “Take your mind off of your shitty ex.”

I glanced at him.

“Come on,” he coaxed. “Don’t let him get to you like this. You know you’ll win in court with the guys on your side, and you have proof; I’ve heard them say it before, so whatever he did to you, you can prove it.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “But that doesn’t mean he still won’t walk away with a tap on the wrist.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But it will mean that you were brave enough to try despite the shitty system that’s in place, and that’s something. No matter what, the guys will protect you, and I know for a fact Lyric will most likely kill Ryker before he can ever put a finger on you again. Cheverie too for that matter. Shit, they’ll most likely recruit me to bring my truck to help bury the body.”

I gaped at him.

He started to laugh again. “I’m kidding.”

“You make bad jokes.”

He cracked a smile. “Yeah, after Jungkook went through everything, I could barely get a smile out of him, and then you come along, and he can never stop giggling.”

I sat a bit straighter and tossed a glance at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, uh-huh, you want me to butter you up? Because if it makes you forget about your ex, I will.”

I tried to put on an air of indifference but failed. “I don’t know.”

“He loves you, Petal. You’ve made him colorful again and step right back into the Jungkook he was before management, maybe even brighter.”

I released a breath. “I love him, too.”

“I know you do. You love them all.” His smile turned a bit softer. “Which is why I know that they’ve got your back because they love you, too.”

I sniffled, lifting my shoulders slightly. “Yeah, they love me too because best.”

“Best?”

“They’re the best, not you.”

He laughed. “There, you got your revenge. Happy?”

I felt myself begin to smile a little. “Kind of.”

“Well, cheer up.” He pointed at the TV. “They’re coming back after this last performance.”

A little, excited gasp left me, and I scrambled to a more comfortable position as I placed my full attention on them once more. Jaehyun laughed a bit at this, but let me refocus, and when my men left our view on the TV, I jumped to my feet and waited anxiously for their return.

When they entered the room, everyone erupted into cheers, edging on their smiles already so full of happiness because of their successful stage. It was loud, so even though I cheered along, I covered my ears with my hands and jumped up and down to hopefully negate the noise.

They were given a cake brought from another room, and as the lights flickered off so they could blow out the candles together. As soon as the lights turned on, each of them quickly found me. I beamed and jumped up and down faster, braving one hand off of my ear to wave and sign, “Amazing!”

They motioned me forward, but I didn’t feel like I could navigate through the now crowded dressing room and the strange fabric I would touch on the way to them, courtesy of everyone’s clothing, so I struggled where I stood.

Suddenly, someone lead me forward, and I jolted before realizing it was Jaehyun. He winked at me, and I was smiling by the time he navigated me through the crowd to reach my men.

I flew into Taehyung’s arms, peppering his face with kisses and talking animatedly about how amazing they all did and how impressive it was. He was grinning and blushing, bursting with happiness.

The others claimed their hugs and kisses, and I stayed close to them after ensuring they all knew how good they did and how proud I was of them for working so hard to make such an amazing performance for their fans and for themselves. Their features immediately softened when the words left me, and I earned more kisses before a staff member proclaimed that we should cut the cake.

I ate it happily, perched nice and proudly on Yoongi’s lap as I enjoyed the chocolate frosting.

Straight from there, we were driven to a show where they would be interviewed. It was a fun setting, and they would be able to relax at least a little. I watched from the sidelines with Jaehyun and their managers, side-eyeing Jungkook’s new management to ensure they were kind. They seemed to be official and focused, and Jaehyun was keeping an eye on them as much as I was, so I felt a little better about Jungkook’s safety knowing the precautions that were in place.

After a few more interviews and another pre-recorded performance for another show, we went home to sleep until tomorrow would bring a jam-packed schedule.

During a quick dinner Jin reheated in the oven, Hoseok looped his arm around my waist and tugged me to him, putting a halt to my happy bounding around the kitchen.

His smile shone down at me, brimming with fondness. “Happy girl.”

I threw my arms around his neck and pressed myself onto my toes for a kiss he easily bestowed.

“You were so good,” I gushed. “I’m so happy I could be there and watch! I mean, you are the best dance teacher in the world, and everyone else danced so, so good too, and that’s because of you too, not just your choreographer!” I jumped up and down. “Hobi, Hobi.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I’m right here.”

I nuzzled against him, promptly melting when I pressed my face into his neck. “You’re so cool.”

He chuckled and lifted me into his arms. “Thank you, sweetheart.” He looked down at where I rested contentedly in his hold. “You look tired. Hm? Are you ready for bed after dinner?”

“Oh, yes,” I agreed empathetically. “I’m ready for bed after dinner.” I peered up at him. “Are you? I think so because dancing must have tired you out.”

He smiled, chuckling into a gentle kiss. “I’ll be ready for bed right after dinner.” He pretend snored, making me giggle, and his light tickling evoked my laughter.

“Don’t rile her up,” Jimin teased, breakfast prepping with Taehyung and Namjoon. Yoongi sat on the edge of the counter, munching on an apple slice. “She’ll turn into a jumping bean and keep us up all night.”

“I won’t!” I defended giddily. “Only for a little while.”

He gasped in pretend solemnness. “How could you?”

I giggled and reburied my face in Hoseok’s neck, feeling slightly dizzy with happiness, but also what had coaxed such an intense form of it; the reminder of Ryker, and the knowledge I still hadn’t told my men about my number change. I would have to, and I needed to, but I didn’t know how to explain it without them worrying or how to tread the topic of court.

“Sweetheart.” Hoseok kissed my temple from where I still hid in his neck. “Everything okay?” I nodded. “Just tired?”

A yawn tore through me, and he held me closer in response.

“Oh, poor thing,” he murmured, raining kisses down upon me. “We’ll get dinner served, and you up to bed.”

“After she brushes her teeth,” Jungkook chimed, exclaiming when everyone shot him a look, “What? It’s the proper way!”

I clung to Hoseok tiredly. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Of course you can.” The light tease in his tone made me squirm. “Is your bed not warm enough?”

I shook my head. “Never warm enough.”

“We’ll have to see about fixing that.”

“No,” I protested with another yawn. “Then I won’t be able to sleep with you.”

He chuckled. “That’s not how that would work. You can always sleep with me.”

“No,” Jungkook countered. “Because then how would she sleep with me?”

Namjoon chuckled. “Focus on setting the table, bub.”

Jungkook made a harrumph as he marched to the table, making sure it was set while sticking his tongue out at Namjoon haughtily. The latter made snipping motions playfully, and Jungkook gasped in the same manner, holding his tongue in faux horror.

“Jin hyung,” he tattled. “Namjoon’s going to cut my tongue off.”

“Really,” Jin drawled, checking on the food. “Will this bring no more arguments regarding brushing our teeth?”

Jungkook stomped his feet. “This is not up for discussion, Jin hyung, you will not let him cut my tongue off.”

Jimin cackled, and Taehyung grinned. Yoongi hid a smile into his next little bite of apple slice.

“Come on,” Taehyung teased. “Just admit the right way to brush your teeth is first thing in the morning so you won’t have all that nasty built-up bacteria in your mouth.”

Namjoon laughed. “Why does it matter when you brush your teeth as long as you brush them?”

“It’s a matter of dignity!” Jungkook exclaimed, making the others laugh.

“It’s a matter of dignity if you finish setting the table,” Namjoon countered teasingly.

Jungkook looked at me for assistance. “Faeryn.”

“Yeah?” I asked innocently, not wanting to be dragged into the debate.

“You agree with me, right?”

I just smiled in response.

He looked hurt. “Faeryn.”

“Well, it’s just—it’s because I’ve never really thought about it!” I tried to make him feel better. “I think that as long as you brush your teeth, it’s really okay because your teeth are being brushed, right?”

He sulked. “No one understands me.”

“Jungkook,” I entreated. “I understand, I really do. I just haven’t thought about it enough.”

“Will you think about it and then agree with me?”

“I…don’t know,” I admitted sheepishly. “I don’t really want to take sides because it’s just nice that we’re all brushing our teeth. That’s really great, right?”

He sighed defeatedly and sat, resting his forehead on the table. “My mom agrees with me.”

A pang shot through my heart, and I jumped up, hurrying to throw my arms around him for a big squeeze. “It’s okay! You can call your mom, and she’ll make you feel better, so don’t feel bad. It’s the best that your mom agrees with you, right?”

He looked up at me, suddenly struck with the sight of my earnest expression. “Yeah, it is the best.”

Jin spoke of his displeasure. “Don’t make Faeryn feel bad for her opinions, Jungkook, or any of us for that matter. It’s a simple disagreement, and you need to learn how to drop it.”

Jungkook huffed and brought me closer to him, nuzzling his face in my chest. “Hyungs can be so mean to me. Did you hear what he just said to me?” He whined, kissing the bridge between my breasts for solace. “You understand, right, Faeryn?”

Blushing wildly, I petted his hair as he took comfort from being so near me. “Yeah, I understand, so don’t worry! I understand.”

He hummed happily. “Yeah, of course you understand. You always understand.” He breathed me in contentedly. “You smell so good, like frosted cookies.”

I grinned, pleased. “Yeah, it’s my body lotion. It’s vanilla frosted cookie.”

He groaned as he inhaled greedily. “I need it.”

“Need what?” I squeaked.

“The cookie,” Jungkook responded urgently.

Taehyung cut in, “It is way too late.”

“No,” Jungkook protested. “Not—ugh, hyung, I didn’t mean it like that.” I felt his cheeks heat against my skin. “I meant I wanted to have her cookie body lotion.” He groaned again, peeking up at me with his pretty doe eyes. “See how mean they are to me?”

“My poor Jungkook,” I said empathetically. “You didn’t mean it like that. It’s okay.”

He preened, smiling dazedly up at me. “Yeah.” He shot Taehyung a dirty look. “I didn’t mean it like that, and Faeryn’s on my side.”

“Jungkook,” Namjoon laughed. “I know you’re a little grump when you’re tired, but be nice.”

“A little grump?” Jungkook nearly shrieked and clung to me. “Faeryn, did you hear him? What he said to me?”

I kissed his nose repeatedly, earning pleased sighs from him. “It’s okay, he doesn’t mean it.”

“Oh, yes, he does,” Namjoon responded, chuckling. “Jungkook, bub, stop your whining and eat. We need to be ready to sleep soon.”

Jungkook groaned dramatically and pulled me onto his lap. “Stay with me.”

I grabbed his peanut butter toast and brought it to his lips. “Okay, but you have to eat.”

He chewed readily. “Thanks, Faeryn. Best.”

I beamed. “Best what?”

“You’re the best.” He kissed my neck, wiping away any peanut butter. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I kissed his forehead repeatedly with exaggerated ‘mwahs’ that made him giggle.

I suddenly frowned. “Jungkook, do you know what Jaehyun did?”

He nibbled his toast. “What did he do?”

I tried licking the peanut butter clinging to the end of the toast but hated the taste as I knew I would—I still wanted to try—and I kept my tongue out. Jungkook licked it away, earning a squeal from me.

He giggled. “What did hyung do?”

I huffed from the remembrance. “He said ‘best’ and made me say ‘you’re the best’ to him.”

“Really? You told him that he’s the best?”

“I didn’t mean to,” I insisted. “I said it out of repetition.”

“You didn’t like that he did that?”

“No,” I muttered. “He said he wouldn’t do it again, but it just surprised me, and I was mad at him. Just a little. But after that, he was nice and got me a donut.”

Jungkook nodded understandingly. “It’s good that he was nice after that. Did you tell him not to do it anymore? If not, I can tell him.”

“I told him, and he said he wouldn’t do it anymore. He said sorry.”

“Good,” Jungkook said, looking proud of his hyung. “He’s good at keeping promises and apologizing when he hurts someone’s feelings.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “He must be because he’s so nice to you, so I couldn’t be that mad.”

“Yeah, he’s nice, but if he hurts your feelings, you can still tell him, okay?”

“I will.” I nodded to seal my words. “I will.” I turned slightly to find my tea just to realize that everyone was watching my conversation with Jungkook closely.

I hesitated. “Is there peanut butter on my face?”

Just in case, Jungkook wiped around my mouth with his thumb, swiping up and down gently. “No peanut butter,” he announced. “They’re probably looking at you because you’re really pretty.”

I blushed and shifted closer to him.

Hoseok smiled a bit. “We were just listening. That’s all, sweetheart. Nothing to worry about.”

“Mm…okay,” I said uncertainly. “But everything’s okay; I communicated with Jaehyun. I’m good at communicating now.” The nagging reminder of what I still had to communicate with them returned. “I am.”

“We didn’t say otherwise,” Jin responded, and his features were too knowing for my sense of comfort. “Is there something you would like to communicate with us?”

“No,” I said carefully and very slowly. “I don’t have anything I want to communicate with you right now.”

“Right now?” He crossed his arms, and the steam of his decaf coffee swirled around his face as his mug paused inches from his lips. “At a later time, then?”

“I…” I averted eye contact. “Yes,” I finally managed to confirm. “Later.”

“All right.” He gave me a moment. “Is it something you can keep to yourself without it overwhelming you?”

“I can keep things to myself,” I said heatedly. “I’m not incompetent.”

“If I keep things to myself without talking about it, it will overwhelm me too. It doesn’t make me incompetent, does it, Faeryn? It makes me human.”

I swallowed. “I’m not going to tell you right now, but I’m fine to keep it to myself. I can handle it.” Hesitating, I added carefully, “And I don’t want any of you to text me.”

They all asked why in their own ways, and I winced. I knew I had to bring it up; if they sent any sensitive or personal information to my old number, even if it hadn’t been reassigned yet, it could put them at risk.

“Just promise you won’t,” I entreated. “I’ll tell you why later, but just not right now, and I promise everything is fine.”

They didn’t look convinced. If anything, they looked more concerned.

I blurted, “I’ll talk to Lyric about it. Okay? So that way, I won’t be keeping it to myself.”

They relaxed marginally.

“All right,” Namjoon responded smoothly. “As long as you’re not bottling it up. We trust you.”

I nodded stiffly, struggling to keep my happy disposition now that the memory of taking Ryker to court resurfaced. “Let’s talk about something else now. We have to go to bed soon.”

Jungkook caressed my waist reassuringly. “We’ll hurry up and eat, right, hyungs?”

Confirmation filled the room slowly, and they returned to preparing food, but they watched me more keenly than before.

Would I wait until their comeback was over to tell them? Would Ryker try to take me to court before then, or should I try to do so? But it would put a damper on their comeback, and after everything they’d done for me, I couldn’t do that to them, leaving me at a loss.

As we entered the car in the morning, I pushed against the window seat and texted Lyric from my new number, letting her know it was me, telling her what happened, asking her not to tell anyone, and asking for advice.

Her text came soon after, and I blinked, surprised she was awake so early.

 

After I explained what was going on, and Lyric helped via chat, we suggested calling later when the guys were performing. Jaehyun and I would be together, and Cheverie and Lyric would be together. It was a clear decision, and although anxious, having the support made me feel less alone.

Once my men were performing at the music show, I grudgingly tore my attention away from them and joined Jaehyun in an unoccupied room so we had privacy.

“Hey!” Lyric waved as she popped up on FaceTime with Cheverie right beside her on their living room couch. “We’re ready! How are you feeling?”

I gnawed my lip. “I’m missing their stage.”

“We’ll be quick,” she promised. “And it will all be recorded.”

“I know,” I whispered, gutted. “But I said I would cheer them on, so it’s like I’m lying.”

“You didn’t know this would happen before you said that, and you’re still cheering them on inwardly, right? No lies here!”

I hung my head.

“Come on, Petal.” Jaehyun focused the camera on his iPhone. “We’ll finish up much quicker if you’re not sulking.”

He was teasing, but I couldn’t help my scowl.

“See?” Lyric proved her point from earlier. “He’s weird and annoying.”

Jaehyun tutted. “Bad mouthing me already?”

“I wasn’t!” I insisted. “I said it was mean to call you weird.”

“She’s just jealous I knew about this before she did, eh?”

It was Lyric’s turn to scowl. “You saw her first, that’s the only reason, dickwad.”

“Dickwad? Now listen here, you little shit.” He pointed at his screen, ready to push into an argument I wasn’t sure was foreplay, teasing, or actual annoyance, so I put my hands up and quickly demanded, “No fighting!”

They sighed in unison.

I crossed my arms sadly. “We have to talk about this quickly. How do we serve Ryker?”

“I can call Namjoon’s lawyers,” Jaehyun muttered, side-eyeing Lyric through the screen.

“Yeah, my idea,” Lyric pointed out.

Cheverie put a hand on Lyric’s knee, offering a light slap. “Come on.”

Lyric huffed. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll call Namjoon’s lawyers.”

“Great,” Jaehyun drawled. “So, like I said before I was so rudely interrupted, we’ll do that, they’ll send forms via fax that Lyric can grab from her work station so no one will see, you’ll fill out the forms that are basically taking your statement, we’ll find a time to meet up with the lawyer, and set a court date before you and the guys head to America for promotions.”

“What do I tell them when I have to see the lawyer?” I asked, frightened. “I don’t want to lie to them. I never want to lie to them, and I don’t want to go alone.”

“You won’t be alone,” Lyric said quickly. “We’ll go with you, okay? So don’t worry. We’ll go early or late depending on our work schedules, and you can say you want to hang out with us.”

“But it won’t be a hangout,” I stressed. “So, it’s still lying.”

“We’ll grab a coffee before going to the lawyer’s office,” Cheverie decided. “That’s considered a quick hangout. We’ll even sit for a minute if that makes your strong sense of justice feel better.”

I blinked. “Yeah, that would…be nice. Thank you.”

Lyric turned to her. “Finally putting that associate’s degree to work, huh?!”

“Okay then,” Jaehyun cut in. “That’s settled. I’ll call the lawyer after we hang up and text you the location and date. We good now? Can I hang up so I don’t have to talk to Lyric anymore?”

“You piece of—”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Sayonara.” He hung up and dialed a number. “I’m calling the lawyer now, Petal. I’ll put it on speaker phone so you can hear what she says.”

“It’s a woman?” I felt a tickle of relief that caused my eyes to burn. I sniffled. “That’s really great.”

He glanced at me. “You good?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” My voice broke.

He put his phone down before he could dial the number. “You want a second alone?”

I teared up. “Just a little second.”

“Okay.” He stood, pocketing his phone. “Text me when you take your little second.”

My strong front remained until he closed the door, and I buried my face in my hands, letting my silent tears wet them as my frame shook with quiet sobs.

I never wanted to take Ryker to court. Maybe it made me weak to avoid the confrontation it would bring, and the fear of being in a closed room with him, even with security and police around, but I used to be okay with it—considering myself weak if it meant I was safe. But after Kenley, after knowing I wasn’t okay with letting him get away with continuing to keep us in fear—not to mention new victims because there would be more—I couldn’t handle it anymore. Maybe that made me weak to wait until I reached my breaking point to do something about it, but I wasn’t sure.

What to name an action done out of weakness and exhaustion? Did it border weary and brave, or was it brave at all?

I didn’t feel brave crying all alone in this foreign room.

I didn’t want to see Ryker. I didn’t want to go through all the emotions a court process would take and go through a long month without talking to my men about it so they could enjoy their comeback season, but I would do anything for them. And I realized I would do anything to stop Ryker from hurting new people, even if it meant making a permanent dent in his record because I would win, whether driven by fear or bravery.

I couldn’t let him win another thing.

When I won, when his new victims looked him up on the internet, his record would be there, and whether or not they decided to follow the warning was up to them, but I would have helped.

I wiped my eyes quickly, sniffling and dabbing my nose carefully. Grabbing my phone shakily, I texted Jaehyun. He entered much quicker than I expected him to, and I jumped in my seat, watching wearily as he approached with a cold compress.

“For your eyes,” he explained, handing it to me. When I just stared at it, he lifted it and cocked his head. I realized he wanted me to mimic him, and when I tilted my head like him, he placed the cold compress beneath my eyes. “Twenty minutes under your eyes.”

I looked at him.

“What?” he pressed, already dialing Namjoon’s lawyer’s number. “You don’t believe me?”

I managed a shake of my head and a broken thank you.

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I did it for Jungkook all the time, and you mean a lot to him—not to mention Lyric and yeah, Cheverie, too—so yeah. Twenty minutes under your eyes.”

I nodded, and when I lifted my hand to hold the compress, he removed his.

“Great,” he concluded, placing the phone down as it rang the lawyer on speaker phone. “Let’s get this shit done and watch the guys kill it on stage.”

“I can’t go back in the dressing room with my eyes like this,” I stressed.

“Good thing there’s a TV in here then, huh?”

“What? Where?”

He pointed to a corner I hadn’t seen.

I released a relieved breath. “That’s really great.”

“Uh-huh.”

The phone stopped ringing as the lawyer accepted the call. “Hello, you’ve reached Seoyeon Arae at The Suk Lawyer firm. How can I help you?”

“This is Duan Jaehyun from HYBE, a financial and personal assistant for BTS,” he responded, taking on more professional tone. “You’ve assisted and won a case against Jeon Jungkook’s three previous managers last year.”

“Ah, yes. It’s nice to speak with you again, Jaehyun. Under better circumstances, I hope.”

He glanced at me. “This call is regarding something else, and since you’re sworn to secrecy, I’d like to request you keep this from anyone at HYBE excluding me, Faeryn Petal, and Lyric Beasley. I can spell the names if necessary.”

“Yes, please spell those names for me, thank you, Jaehyun.” After he did, she continued, “Let me know the reason for this call, please, then we can proceed.”

“We want to build a case against Haze Ryker.”

“Ryker Haze,” I whispered. “He’s American.”

“Uh, Ryker Haze,” he corrected. “He’s American.” He whispered to me as Aera noted Ryker’s name, “He moved here from America?”

“Way before I did,” I confirmed quietly. “That’s…part of why I felt comfortable because we…” I winced. “Bonded over being from America.”

He sighed. “Asshole.”

“Excuse me?” Aera asked.

“We’re speaking of who we want to take to court,” Jaehyun explained. “Sorry about that.” He cleared his throat, returning to his professional tone. “Can we have the forms faxed to Lyric Beasley?”

“Yes, I will have those sent, and you can fax them back to me. Can I have a quick rundown of the case we’ll build against Ryker?”

“He physically and verbally abused the plaintiff, Faeryn Petal, unlawfully evicted her from an apartment under her name although he wasn’t on the lease, threatened her in daily life and afterward over text, and we have proof of all of the above. We can print those out and bring them in a file to you.”

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry to hear about what he did.”

I choked up.

Jaehyun lifted the cold compress when it slipped slightly, and I returned to focus on keeping it in place, easing my distress slightly when I had something to focus on.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun responded. “Can you please send me an invoice, so I can set aside the costs accordingly?”

“I will write that up for you, but my costs have not changed much since last time.”

“Thank you. What is a good time to meet? We would prefer before the week is over, so as soon as possible.”

“Ah, I am pretty booked.”

“Namjoon is inquiring.”

I gave Jaehyun a look of surprise and slight betrayal at the blatant lie.

“Ah, well, let me double check.” A minute later, she asked, “How does tomorrow at 7 AM sound?”

Jaehyun raised his brows expectantly, and I nodded miserably. “7 AM sounds perfect, thank you, Aera. We look forward to seeing you then.”

“Likewise, Jaehyun. Have a good day.”

“Have a good day.” He hung up. “Listen, Namjoon would inquire if he knew about this. It wasn’t a blatant lie. He’ll just inquire much later.”

“It’s a lie,” I whispered, pained.

“You didn’t tell it; I did.” He set the date on his phone’s calendar and texted Lyric. “I’ll let her know to check her fax when she gets to HYBE, but no one is allowed into each other’s work stations. No one will see the forms. Tomorrow, we’ll drop by Lyric’s to sign the forms, go get coffee for our hang out, and see the lawyer at 7. Good?”

I burst into tears.

“Shit, Petal.” He set his phone down. “Don’t let that dirtbag get in your head like this. He’s not worth it.”

“I can’t help it!” I was a blubbering mess, embarrassed to be crying in front of him. “He’s so mean!”

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed and carefully grabbed the cold compress. “I’ll get you another one.”

“No, I—I want to watch the guys,” I stammered. “On the TV. I promised.”

“All right, shit, hold on.” He looked around for the remote, and he turned it on just in time for the last chorus.

I sniffled and rubbed my agitated nose, settling in and struggling to see through my tears, but as soon as they finished, I clapped my hands and cheered, even though they couldn’t see or hear me.

Jaehyun was looking at me when I turned to him, about to wonder if my men were going back to the dressing room.

I rubbed my eyes carefully, wondering if he was looking at how red they must have looked. “Do they look bad?”

“No.” He shook his head and stood. “No, come on. You’re the first person they’ll look for when they get back.”

“What is it?” I pressed, standing with him.

He pivoted slightly, pushing his hands into his pockets. “Nothing, Petal. They’re just lucky to have you.”

“Nothing?” I teared up again. “That’s not nothing.”

He half-smiled, but it looked more like a wince. “Sorry.” He gestured toward me, and his hand fell back to his side. “Made you cry again.”

“You don’t have to say sorry.” I put my hand on my chest and practiced breathing. “They’ll know I’ve been crying.”

“You want to stay here for a bit? You could use the bathroom and wash your face.”

“Okay, I want to do that,” I said eagerly. “That will help.”

“Yeah, all right. Third door on your right once you leave here.” He walked with me. “You want me to wait for you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Uh-huh.” He leaned against the wall once we arrived at the bathroom. “I’ll be here.”

My lips trembled into a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’ll be right back.”

I splashed my face with cold water, took deep breaths until they felt natural, and carefully dried my face, taking special time beneath my eyes until the trace of tears disappeared.

Exiting the bathroom, I almost bumped into Jungkook, my hands on his chest as I yelped with surprise.

“Ah, sorry!” he exclaimed, steadying me quickly. “It was an accident!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I quickly reassured him, holding his shirt tightly as he stabilized me. “You were amazing!”

His concern toward almost making me fall over turned into instant joy. “Really?”

“The best!” I hugged him, and he spun me around giddily.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed. “I was nervous, but I knew you were cheering us now, so I wasn’t as nervous!”

“I was cheering you on,” I agreed, happy that I could. “And you were all so good! The best!”

“Thank you, thank you!” He nuzzled our cheeks together. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too,” I breathed out, his presence causing comfort to sweep through me. “I’m so happy I’m here and that you’re here.”

I teared up again, wincing and trying to smile through it.

“Faeryn,” he said, surprised. “What’s wrong?”

I choked out, “I’m just so happy I’m here with you.”

He cupped the back of my neck, kissed my cheek, looked at me worriedly, and pressed my face into his neck. “I’m so happy you’re here with me, too.” He patted my back gently. “We’re so lucky to have you.”

“You?” I clung to him. “I’m so lucky.”

Jaehyun said, “You’re all so lucky. Yeah? No fighting on such a special occasion.” His tone was teasing, but it held a slight seriousness that caught Jungkook’s attention.

Something in Jungkook shifted. “Why were you waiting for her outside of the bathroom?”

“She didn’t want to go alone,” Jaehyun responded aloofly.

Jungkook held me tighter. “Everything’s okay? Nothing bad happened?”

Jaehyun was quiet for a beat too long. “Yeah, there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“Okay,” Jungkook said uncertainly. “Faeryn, you’re okay? Everything’s okay?”

“I’m okay because I’m with you,” I confirmed shakily, refusing to lie to him.

“Is this…the thing we talked about at breakfast that you’re not ready to tell us?”

I nodded.

He stiffened. “Jaehyun knows?” He held the back of my head protectively, addressing Jaehyun next. “You’re taking care of it, hyung?”

“Yeah, I am,” Jaehyun said firmly, reaching forward to pat Jungkook’s arm. “Don’t worry about, yeah? I’m good at taking care of things.”

“I know,” Jungkook said, his voice sounding compressed. “You’ve done it with me before.”

When I tensed, Jungkook felt it, and I knew he knew.

He inhaled sharply. “Faeryn.”

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t say anything or try to guess. I won’t tell you.”

“Faeryn,” he repeated, pained.

“It’s okay,” I stressed. “Please. Jaehyun and my friends are helping me. I’m okay.”

“I can help,” he insisted. “Whatever it is, I can help.”

“Good thing we have it taken care of then, huh?” Jaehyun prompted breezily. “Come on, the others will be wondering where we are.”

“But—”

“Respect your girlfriend’s wishes, Jungkook. You know that you only asked for help when you needed to and when you were ready. She’s done that. Let it go for now.”

“I want to help,” he pressed.

“Namjoon wanted to help you, but you weren’t ready for him to. Remember?”

Jungkook rocked me side to side, upset. “I remember.”

“Hey, don’t snap at me. I’m just telling you to respect your girlfriend’s wishes.”

Jungkook kissed my cheek multiple times. “I always do and always will,” he said fiercely, holding me in the same manner. “But I’m just letting her know that I can help, and I can, Faeryn. You can just come and tell me.”

I didn’t respond, and with great difficulty, he dropped the subject, tensely agreeing, “Let’s go see hyungs.”

I kissed his neck, trying to console him through my stressed headspace. “I’m really okay, so you don’t have to worry. Nothing bad will happen to me, and I won’t be hurt, so don’t worry.”

“I can’t not worry about you,” he stressed.

“Yes, you can,” I insisted. “You’re going to have so much fun in your interview, and after that, you get to go with your hyungs and talk to other idols. You’ll have fun, okay? You can watch other idols perform. It’s been a while, right?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Fun,” I insisted. “Okay?”

He relented for my sake and kissed the side of my head. “Okay.”

Notes:

Hi guys! Some of you voted yesterday when I posted this on my Wattpad profile, but for those of you didn't see that, help me decideeee.

Would you guys prefer a book with a slightly insane, feral, and very traumatized female main character who ends up living with BTS, who are in some type of mafia gang, or would you prefer a book about a female main character who is a ray of sunshine, works at a gardening center, and has been best friends with BTS but can't deny the spark of attraction toward them? Either book will be OT7 reverse harem of courseee

Let me knowwwww 😽

Chapter 65: We Are People Too!

Summary:

Faeryn finds it difficult to continue keeping court a secret from her men. Later, she reunites with Kenley.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

I told my men before they went to bed that I would be going with Lyric, Cheverie, and Jaehyun to hang out, so I wouldn’t get to go to their interviews in the morning, but I would make it to the afternoon ones.

“Okay,” Hoseok agreed, scanning my features quickly. “Is everything okay with everyone? It’s just a fun hangout?”

“We’re getting coffee,” I responded, swinging my arms awkwardly. “So, I should go to bed like everyone since I’ll be up early, too.”

“Yeah, sweetheart? Are you feeling tired?” He reached forward to caress my cheek, but when I flinched, his hand froze mid-air.

My actions were loud, and my lips parted to speak, but I couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t sound like a lie. Too much time passed for the situation to be passed off as normal, but I took his hand and brought it to my cheek, urging him, “It’s okay, you can. It’s okay.”

His hand was motionless on my cheek, but when my features dropped with disappointment, he cupped my face and kissed my forehead tenderly.

“Do you want to sleep with one of us?” he asked softly, keeping his tone light and gentle. “We don’t have to talk; we can just sleep.”

“I…” Looking at the floor, I managed a nod.

“Can I have a verbal response, sweetheart? I just want to make sure that you’re okay with it.”

“Yes,” I rasped. “I’m okay with it. Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t have to apologize.” He gently and slowly brought me to him, allowing me ample time to reject his embrace, but I sank into it instead. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with it; we all do. Okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “Okay. I’m just…I’m really tired. But I’m okay,” I hastily added. “And I really liked seeing you all perform today. It was fun watching you, it really was.”

“We’re not second-guessing your enjoyment,” he confirmed, caressing my hair and lulling me as close to him as possible. “We know you had fun, and it’s okay if you didn’t. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But I did have fun, I really did, I promise, and I cheered you on just like I said I would. I promise I did.”

“I know you did.” He soothed his hand down my back. “Why don’t we take a warm shower and get into bed? We can share my vanilla body wash tonight. Would you like that?”

“Yeah,” I breathed out. “Yeah, Hobi, I want that.”

“Then it’s a plan.” He lifted me easily, cradling me to him like I was precious, and I hid the tears his gentle actions evoked from me, burying my face in his chest. “Do you want to say goodnight to everyone later or now, or do you want to say good morning to them tomorrow?”

Unsure if I could go through with saying goodnight now and later and convince everyone not to worry, I said, “Tomorrow, please.”

“Okay, tomorrow it is. And it will be such a good morning.”

I pushed out a nod and clung to him.

“Okay,” he murmured, kissing the top of my head. “I’ll take care of everything tonight. Just relax.”

It sounded so good after the difficulties I faced today, and I nodded gratefully.

He said his goodbyes to the others, and I felt bad, so I offered a wave.

“They’re waving back,” he said near my ear, just for us.

I waved faster before tucking my hands near my face for comfort.

Hoseok and I showered together, and although his hands felt warm and safe, I focused on not flinching the entire time, remaining unblinking for most of it. At least in his bed, I could hide in his chest and close my eyes. I thought that would help, but when his hand skimmed my hip on his way to pull the blankets more securely around me, I jolted.

He removed his hand immediately, and when I began shaking, he murmured, “It’s just me, sweetheart. It’s Hobi.”

“Hobi,” I croaked. “I’m tired.”

“I know,” he sympathized, sounding like he felt the pain I did. “Can I hold you? It’s okay if you say no; I won’t be mad.”

I continued shaking, and he softly added, “I won’t be mad at you, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” I gasped out, seeing stars behind my eyelids from how hard I squeezed them shut. “Hold. Please.”

“Okay, here we go, so perfect telling me what you wanted to do.” He collected me closer to him, caressing my back and keeping me to him. “There are are, nice and safe with me.”

“Yeah,” I stammered. “Safe.”

“You are,” he murmured. “So safe. And what do we have here?” Keeping his one arm tightly wrapped around me, he twisted slightly and brought Mr. Stuffins down just beneath my arms.”Mr. Stuffins is here, too.”

“Mr. Stuffins,” I managed.

“Open your arms for him a little, sweetheart. That’s it. There you go.” He eased Mr. Stuffins into my arms, keeping him between our chests. “Much warmer.”

My chest stammered. “Yeah.”

“You’re safe.” He tucked me closer to him, letting me wiggle until our legs were intertwined. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. No one in this house—our home—will let that happen.”

“Yeah, I’m—yeah, Hobi, yeah.”

He continued rubbing my back, using his hand to keep me to him. “All you have to focus on is right now and how safe you are with me.”

“With you,” I whispered.

“With me,” he agreed. He encircled his arms around me, shifting Mr. Stuffins slightly as he pressed our chests together for the pressure. “I’ll take good care of you, won’t I, sweetheart?”

“Yeah.” I breathed him in greedily. “Always—you always—”

“I always take care of you,” he concluded gently—and firmly. “And always will. Okay? So you just focus on being right here, taking those nice deep breaths you’re doing such a good job taking, and getting some sleep. Hobi’s here.”

“Hobi’s here,” I repeated, sinking into his arms. “Right here with Faeryn.”

“Right here with Faeryn.” He kissed the top of my head, breathing deeply. “I’m not going anywhere.”

꧁꧂

 

They woke up before me, but they didn’t leave without kissing me good morning and goodbye at the same time. They were loathe to leave me, I could tell, but I assured them I was fine, having enough verbal capacity to do so.

When they left, I slipped between sleep and reality, never fully emerging into either one by the time my alarm went off at 5 AM. Tripping on my way to the shower, I cried a little, not because it hurt, but because I hurt. It felt like I hurt everywhere because of how afraid I was, but I was getting coffee with my friends, and that wouldn’t hurt, so I tried to hold onto that.

Lyric arrived at 5:45 AM sharp, and she was more awake than any of us were.

“Hey!” she greeted, already playing Indie music—for my sake, I knew. “How’d you sleep? Don’t answer that. Buckle up, and let’s get coffee!”

At the coffee shop, I sipped my latte and rested my head on Lyric’s shoulder as the four of us—minus Lyric—tried to fully wake up.

I was shaking at the lawyer firm, but I felt better when Lyric—and even Cheverie—held my hand as Jaehyun held the doors for us.

Sitting in the few chairs across from Aera’s desk, I swallowed nervously and forced myself to wave and bow my head in greeting.

“Good morning.” She showed a tight smile. “I wish we could have met under different circumstances, but I hardly ever meet my clients under those.”

I smiled shakily.

“You don’t have to pretend you’re happy to be here,” she told me, opening a file. “What Ryker did to you was heinous, and it’s a very brave decision for you to be here.” She gestured toward my friends. “And a great idea to have your friends come for support.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Thank you. I…I really appreciate that you could see me so quickly. I know that your schedule was booked.”

“Namjoon’s a good client,” she said, setting a few files on the table and pushing them towards us. “We’ll look at these in a bit after we do proper introductions. Jaehyun, I’m assuming you have the files of evidence?”

“I do,” he confirmed.

“Great.” She sat back, her suit clean and pristine as she crossed her legs elegantly. “My name is Arae Seoyeon, I’ve been a lawyer for 15 years, and I will go through all the lengths to protect my clients and cross the finish line winning. Ms. Petal, I want you to know that I never accept clients who are in the wrong. It’s against my morals, and some can fight that someone needs to defend them, but making a dime by helping the villain in someone’s story win is not something I will ever do.”

She leaned forward, resting her clasped hands on her desk. “I fight against the villains. You and I will work together to convince the judge to give Ryker the worst punishment that can be given for each offense. Do you understand that?”

I sat up straighter. “Faeryn.”

“Excuse me?”

“My name.” I exhaled deeply. “You can call me Faeryn.”

Her lips tugged upward. “All right, Faeryn. Are you with me?”

“I’m with you,” I said, struck with my strong sense of justice, but this time, it was for me. It was foreign, but I didn’t dislike it.

“Good. And your friends? Are they willing to testify against him?” Once she received their quick, unanimous agreement, she asked, “Is there anyone else who will testify against him? The more people we have testifying makes the tables tip in our favor.”

“Yes.” I straightened my spine. “Seven more. And maybe…more.”

She quirked a brow. “This is a long time coming, isn’t it?”

I nodded stiffly.

“Then what are we waiting for?” She nodded curtly. “Let’s get started.”

We talked through the evidence with her, she read my statement, asked questions about it, and let me take breathing breaks when I needed, but I was racing through it, eager to give her all we needed to win.

“The texts are incredible evidence,” she mused, flipping through everything we had. “And the proof from your previous apartment that he not only kicked you out, but his new ex as well, is incriminating. His new texts are not, seeing as we can’t confirm it’s him, but we can still show them when I question him. He might not be expecting it, and depending on how much he tells his lawyers, they might have prepared him for it.

“We want to make him slip up, say things he thinks no one but he and you would know. He thinks you’re afraid of him and speaking about what he did to you, and you can be, but when you’re testifying against him and speaking about everything in detail, he will be afraid, especially when we back it up with evidence.”

I nodded along with her words, finding great reassurance and confidence in them. “That’s really great.”

Cheverie and Lyric looked at me, and at the sudden attention, I turned to them.

“Did you have something to add?” I wondered, confused. “You can, it’s okay.”

“Oh! Oh, no, no, we’re fine.” Lyric shook her hands around. “You just used an Echolalia phrase, and we—no, no, everything’s fine.”

My cheeks burned. “I’m okay. I’m not having…one of those attacks.”

“Echolalia,” Aera spoke up. “That’s a common characteristic of Autism, is it not? I’ve been able to use it for the good of my client. A young child in the family was Autistic, and she repeated what the abuser said to her and the client.”

I blinked, surprised. “Really?”

“Oh, yes.” She quirked a brow. “How do you feel about speaking about what he’s done because of your Autism? It’s a driving force for him, and if we’re able to get Kenley to testify, showing the judge and jury that two victims are Autistic, we can drive a case that he’s targeting disabled people. The jury will hate that.”

I swallowed. “I…I don’t know if I can get Kenley to testify, but I can try. We don’t…we just…” I knew she was sworn to secrecy, so I continued, “We’re not really talking right now.”

She nodded her understanding. “Is there tension between the two of you because you share an ex?”

“No, no,” I defended quickly. “It’s not that. It’s just…” I wrung my hands anxiously, squeezing and offering Lyric a grateful look when she took my hand. “Kenley was going through a hard time after she broke up with Ryker, and she’s never really had friends before, so she wasn’t very nice to me all the time, and it…well, I had an Echolalia attack during a meltdown, which means I couldn’t stop repeating things even if I tried to. It wasn’t Kenley’s fault, but because of things she said in the past, she thinks it was, so she thought it was better not to speak to me anymore to stop accidentally hurting my feelings.”

Her forehead cinched. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Me too,” I said quietly. “It wasn’t her fault, and I…I know she wanted to take Ryker to court. I just don’t know if she wants to do it anymore.”

“For your sake, I hope you’re able to speak with her again, certainly before court takes place. We’ll have time for you to think about asking her,” she let me know. “We’ll press for the continuance you want, and you can coordinate this with Kenley, but she needs to be fully with us. I don’t want her half-in, half-out. It can mess with your case.”

“There’s…one more thing,” I told her. “Her parents are lawyers.”

“Oh dear.”

“They believed Ryker over her, stopped supporting her, and basically disowned her. She’s living at my apartment, barely staying afloat at her job, and struggling through full-time college classes. But I…I think her parents might be Ryker’s lawyers.”

Her features were set with rigid determination. “I can fact-check that. What are their names?” I rattled them off, and she laughed a bit, running a hand over her face. “Fuck.”

I blinked, surprised. “You know them?”

“Know them?” She set her palm on the table, leveling with me. “They work here.”

I felt sick. “Oh.”

“I can hear what I hear, and see what I see, and update you from there, but I might not have solid confirmation if they’re taking his case or not by the time our court date arrives. Could you still get Kenley on our side? Two victims are always better than one, but either way, we have the evidence that Ryker will never have.”

“I’ll try,” I said with determination. “I’ll ask.” I turned to my friends. “Do you want to go with me after this?”

“Yeah, of course, Fae,” Lyric agreed. “Anything.”

“We’ll go,” Cheverie attested.

Jaehyun raised his brows. “Am I invited?”

Hopeful for the additional support, I wondered, “Can you?”

He nodded. “I’m there.”

“Thank you,” I said, relieved to have them all with me.

“Then it’s settled,” Aera concluded. “Let’s build our case.”

An hour or two later, we left the office with the promise to contact her with any further evidence. We would see her in court in three days. According to her, Ryker had already been served, and when I checked my email, I saw that I had been notified.

My stomach was in knots, and I felt like vomiting, but I held my chin high as we drove to my apartment to see Kenley.

Kenley opened the door after two minutes of my knocking. Her hair was strewn around, her pajamas were halfway to falling off, and the smell of hot Cheetos surrounded her.

“Faeryn.” Her groggy eyes widened. “What…what are you doing here?” She looked around the apartment, slowly turning back to me. “It is not Friday. I…I did not clean to prepare for that.”

I shifted anxiously. “Can I come in?”

“Um…” She looked down at herself and crossed her arms over her chest when she realized Jaehyun was present. He had been leaning closer to the door to see her, but when he recognized her uncomfortable stance, he stepped back between Cheverie and Lyric. “Who is he?”

“A friend,” I decided. “Is it okay if we all come in? I want to talk to you about something, but…they can stay outside if you don’t want them to come in.”

“It’s your apartment.”

“But I…I asked you if it was okay or not, so it’s up to you.”

She glanced at them. “Faeryn, I do not even know what you’re doing here. I only hurt your feelings.” She sniffed. “You shouldn’t be here.”

My features shifted with empathy. “It wasn’t your fault, okay? I’m not here to talk about that, so don’t worry. I’m here to talk about something else.”

She exhaled, sized me up, and exhaled again. “Come in.”

I turned to my friends. “Can you…wait out here for a second? I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, we’ll be right here,” Lyric promised, elbowing Cheverie and Jaehyun. “Won’t we?”

“We will,” they responded, elbowing her right back and earning a pained, exaggerated howl from her.

I slowly closed the door behind them and pivoted to look at Kenley, but she was halfway to the living room, lifting her shirt over her shoulder only for it to fall again.

I carefully walked after her, stepping over several bags of Cheetos. “I didn’t know you liked Cheetos.”

“We’re not friends,” she said quietly. “You wouldn’t know that.”

“Right, I…yeah, I know.” I crossed my arms for comfort as I took a seat on the edge of the couch. “I remember.”

She watched me carefully, sitting on the other end of the couch. “Why are you here?”

“I changed my mind,” I uttered stiffly, sitting straight enough for my spine to ache. “About never seeing Ryker again.”

“Um, that does not make any logical sense to me, Faeryn.”

“Me neither,” I admitted, sucking in a sharp breath. “But he…texted me yesterday night.”

She struggled to process before she didn’t. “He looked through your phone when he took it, didn’t he? I remember leaving to use the bathroom when we returned to our old apartment after seeing you in the shop. He must have gotten your new phone number.”

I nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

“That is upsetting.” She tucked her knees to her chest. “Why did he wait so long to text you? It has been months.”

“He had you to abuse,” I said rather bluntly. “He didn’t need two victims. One was enough to satisfy whatever fucked up part of him exists.”

She squinted. “You…can curse. How strange.”

“I’m not some innocent person, Kenley,” I said heatedly. “I’m an adult, and I can curse, so…fuck! Okay?”

She rested her cheek on her knees. “Okay. Fuck.”

“Yeah. Okay. Fuck.” I pulled my knees to my chest. “My men…they don’t know.”

“That you’re here?”

“No. Well, yes, but they also don’t know that he…you know. Texted me.”

“Why did you not tell them?” she asked, flabbergasted. “They will protect you. What if you have another Echolalia attack because you are too overwhelmed because of Ryker and because you are seeing me again? I do not know how to help you, Faeryn. You should not be here.”

I shook my head quickly. “The Echolalia attack wasn’t your fault, Kenley, I promise. It was a mixture of a lot of things.”

“But I was a part of it.” She shook her head. “You should not be here.”

“Yes, I should,” I refuted. “I need you.”

“You…what?”

“I need you,” I reinstated. Grabbing my phone, I navigated to Ryker’s texts and pushed the screen toward her.

She gripped her legs as she leaned forward to view the texts, and I watched her expression change multiple times before she tore her eyes to mine. “Faeryn. You don’t really mean it.”

“I mean it.”

She stared at me. “You didn’t take the grocery store to court.”

“I have a support system now, and I’m…angrier than before. And he hadn’t hurt you then. But he’s hurt you now, and he’s hurt me more since then with all of his empty threats, and I’m sick and tired of it, so I’m going to—ugh!” I slammed my palm into the couch, surprising us both. “I’m going to give him hell!”

She continued staring at me with slightly parted lips. “You are really going to do this,” she said eventually.

“I already have a lawyer, and I’ll be in court in three days.”

“But your men,” she said, wide-eyed. “Their schedule won’t allow it. Their comeback that you spoke of when we were still speaking is occurring now, isn’t it?”

“They don’t know.”

“Faeryn,” she stressed my name, bewildered. “Why not?”

“Because they deserve to enjoy their comeback,” I tried to explain. “They’ve done so much for me, and I will not take away the joy of their long-awaited comeback. We’ll get a continuance so I can go with them for their American promotions, and once their comeback is over, the court date will be a few days later.”

She ran a hand through her hair, but it got stuck due to the tangles. “This is wild news you’ve brought, Faeryn.”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a nod. “Wild news.”

“But…that does not answer the question as to why you are here.”

“Well, it’s my apartment.”

“Faeryn.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. “My lawyer asked you to testify against him.”

Her throat bobbed. “What?”

“My lawyer said if there are two victims against him, I have a greater chance of winning. I know you wanted to take him to court, but you didn’t have the funds because your parents cut you off. You don’t have to pay for the lawyer,” I assured her. “It’s all already been paid for. All you have to do is tell the truth, and I’ll bring the evidence.”

“Faeryn,” she spoke slowly. “If he suddenly has money because of my parents and a lawyer—”

“It might be your parents,” I confirmed. “My lawyer is going to try to confirm that, but she might not be able to. But,” I added, “when we win, we’ll prove what he’s done, and then your parents can’t deny you in the face of proof. They will look stupid, not us. Not anymore.”

I shifted closer to her, still in my safety huddle like she was. “He won’t be able to make us the villains anymore when we prove that he’s been the villain all along.”

“All along,” she repeated slowly.

“All along,” I confirmed.

“What if my parents question me on the stand?”

“Then you’ll just tell the truth, okay? We’re in the right,” I said firmly. “Not them, not Ryker, and not anyone who defends him. And we can protect further victims when we win.”

“We might not. Why do you keep saying when?”

“Because I know we will, and so does my lawyer,” I said earnestly. “The proof doesn’t lie, and when we win, he’ll have that on his permanent record.”

“That will not stop him from abusing people.”

“No, but it will give them a warning.”

She shook her head repeatedly.

I grasped at straws before plucking her words from our last conversation. “You said that when you were a lawyer, you would help more people than you would hurt. You can protect two people right now, and so many possible people he might hurt in the future. Isn’t that what you want? To help?”

“I don’t know!” she shouted, her voice breaking at the end. Her eyes filled with tears, shocking me into silence. “I don’t know what I want, and I never have. My parents said I wanted to be a lawyer, so I wanted to be a lawyer. The psychologist said I was Autistic, so I was Autistic. People say I am too blunt and annoying, so I continue to be blunt and annoying. My siblings made my life so difficult growing up; what they said was playful teasing felt more like years of torment, but they said it wasn’t, so it wasn’t because no one believed me. My parents say I am incompetent, and I have let them do everything for me in life, and look at me now sitting in my mess because I can barely stay afloat. What does that make me? Competent?” Her voice cracked. “I do not feel competent, Faeryn. I feel like a child wading through a mess they can’t clean up without their mother, except they do not have a mother who loves them enough to teach them how to clean it themselves. She just does it for them so they never learn how.”

“It’s okay,” I said urgently as my empathy bled for her along with a burning anger toward her family. “This can be your first step toward deciding who Kenley is. You have a strong sense of justice, even if you don’t want to be a lawyer, but I know that if you wanted to be a lawyer, nothing would stop you, not even Autism. Okay? Nothing would stop you because you’re Kenley, and the Kenley that I know, even if we’re not friends, never loses her ground. She stands firm and knows who she is, even if her parents say otherwise.

“She walked away from them, her abusive ex, any “friends” she had in her study group, her rude siblings, and she’s working her ass off working a job while doing college full-time and living in a new apartment by herself, something she’s never done before.”

“Why are you speaking about me in the third person?”

“Because I want you to see yourself like you never have before,” I continued strongly. “Because you are so cool and brave, even if all you feel like is incompetent and Autistic. You want to be an administrative assistant—and maybe not forever—but you do right now, and you are so intelligent that you could learn how to be anything you want to be. That is who Kenley is; no diagnosis could hold her down, so I need you to be that Kenley because that is who her family and others have held down.”

I shifted to completely face her. “What did you tell your father?”

She shook her head rigidly.

“What did you tell him?” I pressed. “About who we are.”

She understood, I could tell, but she wouldn’t respond, pressing her lips tightly together.

“Kenley,” I insisted, and she burst into tears, sobbing, “We’re people before we’re Autistic.”

My heart splintered before it shattered. “Kenley—”

“We’re people,” she gasped through her tears, heaving, “before we’re Autistic. People! I’m a person! I am competent.”

“You are,” I agreed assiduously.

She glared fiercely, but it wasn’t at me. She was bleeding with anger toward everyone in her who had belittled her; I knew it because I had seen myself do the same.

“I am capable of so much,” she seethed as angry, hot tears streamed down her cheeks. “Autism does not define me, and it does not limit me. I can do whatever I want to do.”

“Yes,” I breathed out quickly. “Yes.”

“I don’t need anyone’s permission.”

I shook my head furiously. “You don’t.”

“And I do not need to go to court to testify against Ryker.”

Although my heart dropped, I confirmed, “No, you don’t—because every decision in your life should be yours to make.”

She let her tears fall, not bothering to wipe them away. “Fine.”

I faltered. “Fine?”

“Yes. Fine. Fine! I will testify against Ryker in court!” She stood and grabbed a pillow, beginning to hurl it across the room before she paused. “This is…not my pillow.”

“You can throw it, it’s okay.”

She hurled it across the room, and it hit the wall with force. “Fuck!”

I stood and grabbed the one beside me, doing the same. “Fuck!”

“Hah,” she breathed out, looking dizzy. Spinning, she turned, grabbed an empty muffin wrapper, and threw it, even if it only landed a few inches from her. “Fuck!”

I stomped my feet into the ground, shaking my head and yelling, “Fuck!”

She stared at me with her lips parted before slowly copying me until neither of us stopped, alternating between shouts and stomps until our faces were inches apart and we were screaming nothing. Just screaming.

When both our hands clamped over our ears in unison, she laughed shortly, then I laughed.

“Fuck,” I wheezed before shouting it again, covering and uncovering my ears repeatedly.

She watched in confusion until she did the same. “Oh. Oh, this is…I like how this sounds.”

“It’s good, right?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she repeated, covering and uncovering her ears to create a distinct sound. “This is—I like this.”

“And you can,” I encouraged. “Because Kenley can choose whatever she likes and doesn’t like.”

“You are so strange, Faeryn.” But she was starting to smile like it wasn’t a bad thing to be strange.

So I said, “I know.”

She started to laugh, a coarse, dry laugh, but it was a wonderful laugh. I assumed she hadn’t heard it in a long time either, because she looked surprised to be hearing it.

I sat down on the floor, exhausted. Wiping my forehead, I decided, “We’re going to win in court, Kenley. My men are testifying, and so are my friends outside. Your parents and Ryker don’t stand a chance.”

“No.” Her smile was faint, but it was there. “They don’t stand a chance.”

“What is with all the noise in there?” Lyric shouted, knocking on the door. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun seconded, his fist joining Lyric’s knocking. “If you’re hurt, your men will hand me my ass, Petal. And if Kenley’s hurt, Petal, I know you’ll hand me my ass.”

I giggled, and Kenley’s smile grew a bit, although confused at this strange man knocking on the apartment door; the strange man that was now my friend.

“We’re okay!” I called, and standing, I held out my hand. “You don’t have to take it. It’s like the last time, you know. A way to tell you that I’m on your side.”

She took my hand, and I tugged, surprised as I helped her up.

Wiping her hands on her pants, she noted my expression. “What? I do not enjoy physical contact, but it’s fine during this occasion.”

I didn’t do a great job of hiding my smile. “Okay.”

She noted it. “I am not hurting your feelings today, I don’t think.”

I let my smile pull through to show her how true her words were. “No, you’re not.”

She nodded, and her features slackened. “That’s good.”

I gestured toward the door. “Ready?”

“For…what?”

“It doesn’t look like you have any pumpkin muffins in here.”

She flushed and began to bite back before hesitating. “Is that…a jab at me because muffin wrappers are all over your floor?”

“No,” I refuted quickly. “It’s me offering to go to that coffee shop to get strawberry matcha and pumpkin muffins.”

“You…but you don’t like strawberry matcha.”

“Yeah, but you do.”

“You will have it even though you dislike it?”

“Well, yeah! It’s nice that you like it, so I want to have the things that my friends like.” I faltered. “I didn’t mean that we’re friends, but I—I was just saying—

“I know.” She scratched the back of her neck. “I think I need a shower first.”

“Oh! Okay. Yeah, of course! I can wait here.”

“Well, yes. It is your apartment.”

“Yeah.” I laughed a bit. “It is. Yours, too.”

“For a little while.” She walked to the bathroom. “I don’t really have clothes that fit me anymore.”

“You don’t?”

“I…have not been eating much, and when I do, it’s late at night and junk food while I strategize with Monopoly.”

“Well, that’s okay! For about a month right before I left Ryker, all I had were protein shakes. For every meal.”

She blinked. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Ryker is a dick.”

“Oh yeah,” I agreed. “But…like Lyric says…he is a small-dicked man.”

She started to smirk. “You and I have firsthand knowledge.”

I gasped, and she laughed at the shock painting my face.

Cackling, she closed the door as she entered the shower. A bright red, I clutched my cheeks as I walked to the front door to let my friends in.

“What’s wrong?” Lyric shrieked. “Your pretty cheeks are as red as beets, Fae!”

“I’m fine,” I assured her, but my voice sounded more like a squeak. “Ryker is just a small-dicked man.”

“Of course he is!” she exclaimed. “This is what I’ve been saying!”

Jaehyun understood before Lyric and Cheverie could. “Were you both talking about Ryker’s dick?”

Cheverie gave him a stern look, and Lyric gasped, wondering, “Fae, no way?”

I blushed harder, and she screeched, “No way!”

“What?” I asked, high-pitched. “It was really small.”

Jaehyun snickered. “Yeah, I’ll bet.” He looked around the apartment, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Where’s Kenley?”

“No dick talk from you,” Lyric scolded him. “Not when one is in proximity.”

His hands flew from his pockets to subconsciously shield his pants, and he scowled when Lyric and Cheverie laughed. “Thanks for that, Lyric. Really. So gracious of you to point that out.”

She blew him a kiss. “Always.”

I looked around, patting my cheeks to make the redness go away. “I’m going to clean up a little. After Kenley’s done showering, we’re going to the coffee shop. Does everyone want to come with us to the coffee shop?”

“Fae, of course we’ll go to the coffee shop with you!” Lyric insisted, hurrying to help me clean up. “But what did Kenley say? Is she going to testify?”

“Oh!” I nodded quickly. “Yes, she’s going to testify.”

“What?!” Lyric shrieked, engulfing me in a huge hug. “This is amazing news, Fae!”

She jumped up and down until Cheverie pulled her away to hug me. Lyric struggled to get back to me, but Jaehyun held her back, pinching her and earning multiple hits anywhere she could reach.

“No fighting,” I scolded them mid-pinching war. “I’m going to clean now.”

Cheverie chuckled and pulled me forward. “Where are the cleaning supplies? They could be a while.”

꧁꧂

 

Three days passed, and my friends, Kenley, and I showed up at court at 9 AM sharp as my men remained unaware of my current location, knee-deep in promotions. I would see them tonight, and now, all I would have to do is stand in the front of the courtroom and ask for a continuance. That was it.

Kenley was as pale as a ghost when her parents turned out to be Ryker’s lawyer, but she set her lips in a firm line and kept it together during the hour and a half we were there, sitting through parking tickets and divorce cases.

After I asked for a continuance, it was granted, and our date was slotted for a month later.

Outside of the courtroom, Ryker wasn’t allowed near me because of the temporary restraining order I had against him that would be valid all through the court procedures. If he came anywhere near me or contacted me, I could call the police, and that meant that if Kenley was near me, he couldn’t come near her either.

When he looked at me from the other side of outside of the courtroom, I was shaking, but I wanted him to feel a pinch of fear he made me feel, so I pushed confidence to the forefront and smirked like I’d seen Kenley do before. His fury at the sight was frightening, but the sight alone let me know that he was afraid. Anger always hid something after all. It was just a front.

Lyric gave him the middle finger, and rolling her eyes, she turned to me. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jaehyun walked behind the rest of us as if he were our bodyguard, his hard glare enough for Ryker to look away from Kenley and me, Ryker’s scowl directed at the floor, just like a coward.

Aera talked to us as we walked to the elevators and briefed us on what to expect for the actual court date. Ryker could request a continuance if he wanted to push the date off, but Aera was sure that Kenley’s parents were pissed enough to want the situation over with. I hoped so, because the last thing I wanted was for them to ask for continuances and drag it on until I dropped the case due to the anxiety it caused.

“The judge can deny continuances,” Aera told us. “So we’ll see.”

Back at my apartment, we dropped Kenley off, and I walked her up while the others waited in the car. Jaehyun stood outside of it, his hand shielding his eyes to block out the sun as he watched to ensure we entered the apartment complex safely.

“Do you still want to do this?” I wondered when we reached the door.

She glanced at me. “I already said I would.”

“I know, but I think today might have been a lot because…now we know for sure that your parents are his lawyers. So,” I said, taking a deep breath, “if you want to change your mind, you can. I know you know that,” I hurried to add, “but I wanted to let you know just in case.”

“Yes, I do know that.” She gripped the doorknob tightly, pushing the key inside but letting it hang. “I…am angrier than before now that I’ve seen how much trust my parents have put into Ryker. Even if they assumed it was just you against him, I told them what he did to you, and they took a stranger’s words over mine. Well,” she grunted. “Not so much a stranger if they’re helping him so much, but I’m their daughter.”

“It’s disgusting,” I said quietly.

“It is disgusting.” She unlocked her door. “I am angry, and I will do anything to prove them wrong, even if…” Pain crossed her features. “They still don’t take me back. This has hurt me so much that I…I’m not sure that I would even want to go back.”

“Either way,” I reassured, “it’s your choice.”

“Yes.” She straightened her posture, glanced at me once more, and nodded. “It is.” She sighed. “Well, I…will go inside now.”

“Okay. I’ll go back to the car now.”

“Okay.” She opened her door. “I’ll see you after your trip to America.” She paused. “Will you see your childhood home again?”

“Oh! No, actually, we’re selling it to a family. I haven’t found one yet, but we’re in the process.”

“You kept ownership of it?” she asked.

“No, I…lost it, but my men bought it from the current elderly couple who were going to retire because they had it up for sale, and they gave me the choice to keep it, and I said I wanted to sell it.”

“Why?” she asked, baffled.

“I want it to be filled with laughter and love all the time, not just during any vacation I take up there,” I said softly. “Just like it was during my childhood. I want my home to mean something to a family one day so many years later that they’ll think of it as fondly as I do, and then we’ll all share fond memories of a house we shared. I…I don’t know,” I concluded, suddenly embarrassed by my rambling. “I just thought—”

“It’s a good choice.”

“Oh.” I nodded quickly. “Thank you. I think so, too.”

“Yes.” She stepped one foot into the apartment. “I hope you don’t ruminate over the court date during your time in America.”

Surprised, I asked, “Do you ruminate, too?”

“I didn’t know the correct term for it until I researched more about Autism. I…thought it would be wise to finally learn more about my diagnosis, so I can accommodate myself.”

I started to smile. “That’s really great.”

“Yes. It’s really great.” She fully entered the apartment, holding the door open slightly. “My parents will feel so stupid when they lose, just like I told them they would feel the last time I spoke with them.” She smirked. “I am at least feeling good about that. And…did you see Ryker cower when Jaehyun looked at him in the way that he did?” She pursed her lips, seemingly unsure what to make of Jaehyun, but her smirk reappeared at the recollection of Ryker’s fear. “I liked it.”

I grinned. “I did, too.”

Her smirk settled into a miniature smile. “Your choice of friends is all quite different. Cheverie is aloof but cares intensely when she chooses to, Lyric is fierce and sometimes steps on people’s toes while making others love her intensely, and I do not know Jaehyun well enough, but he is protective and makes jokes.” Her nose upturned. “I do not find them funny. I am just saying that they are jokes because I noted the joke formula.”

I couldn’t stop my grin from growing. “His jokes are funny sometimes.”

“Hmph,” was her only response.

I wanted to tell her that she, too, was my friend, and she was a little bit like all of my friends wrapped in one, but I didn’t because I wasn’t sure she wanted to be friends yet, even though I wished for that outcome. Instead, I waved. “I’ll see you when I get back!”

“Yes.” She waved. “I will see you when you get back.” I walked down the hall. “Bye, Faeryn.”

I looked over my shoulder and shot her a reassuring grin. “Don’t stay up too late strategizing.”

She smirked. “I will leave you voicemails about how good I am at strategizing.”

It felt good to laugh after the events of the day.

Back in the car, Lyric asked from behind the wheel, “Where to now, Fae?”

I buckled myself in. “To pack for America, and then to catch my men’s last performance of the day.”

She grinned and put the car in reverse. “Buckle up.”

Notes:

After such a loooong wait, smut is coming in the next chapter! It's been a while, but the wait will be worth it, I hope 🤭 More light-hearted chapters are to come! <33

Chapter 66: Sexual Tension in the Car

Summary:

Faeryn and her men embark on fun car sex on their way to the airport.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

“Hey, baby,” Namjoon greeted, slightly breathless as he approached me.

Sweat shone on his forehead, and his performance clothes clung to his body and highlighted his muscles. A quiet gasp left me when I felt them as he tugged me into his arms in the dressing room.

He breathed me in like I was a drug, pressing his nose to my neck and inhaling deeply, exhaling the same way. “There you are.”

“Joon,” I stammered, clinging to his arms.

“What is it, baby?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, lowering them until they locked under my legs and lifted me. “What do you need?”

I shivered, melting closer to him as our position made me look down at him. “I missed you.”

“And I missed you.” His arms squeezed my legs. “Did you have fun with your friends and Jaehyun today?”

“Jaehyun is my friend now,” I whispered, looking around just in case he heard me, but he was busy laughing with other members of the staff.

“Does Jaehyun not know his friend status?” he teased, tickling my thighs lightly.

I squeaked, grasping onto his shoulders for purchase. “Namjoon.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “We’ll keep our voices down, hm?”

Loosening his hold on me, I yelped in surprise, but it slowly turned into a sigh of contentment when our new position earned his lips on mine.

“Hey, hey,” Jimin called as he entered the room, his teasing tone prominent. “Don’t play favorites, honey.”

“I’m not!” I protested, but my voice was muffled by Namjoon’s lips, and I was content enough to keep it that way, delving back into it and momentarily forgetting the room full of people. Until I remembered.

With a shy dip of my face into Namjoon’s neck, I held him for solace.

“Aw, is my baby shy?” he prompted, bouncing me lightly in his arms. “Hm? My shy baby?” He peppered kisses on the top of my head. “No more kisses?”

“Namjoon,” I said, almost a gasp of indignation. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Talk like that,” I insisted wildly, still hiding. “They can hear you.”

“They know who you belong to, Faeryn. Should they not?”

I shivered. “Namjoon.”

“All right, baby.” He chuckled, hugging me close. “No more treating you like a princess around other people.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Hm? I thought we weren’t talking when other people could hear us?”

“Namjoon!” I slapped his arm, lifting my face to glare at him. “Don’t be mean to me.”

“So you do want princess treatment.” His lips tugged upward. “We can make that happen.”

“Namjoon,” Jin prompted, his familiar step evoking a shiver of anticipation from me. “Let’s keep things civil, shall we?”

“Oh, but of course,” Namjoon responded. “Nothing but civility for our woman.”

Jin’s hand was hot and heavy on my back, and I flushed hotly, flustered. “Turn your face for me, Faeryn.”

I listened immediately, blushing intensely at the sheer sight of him alone. Much like Namjoon, his clothes were fitted to perfection, accentuating the past few months of his—and everyone else’s—extensive gym routine. He wore a silky black, long-sleeve shirt, and I didn’t trust myself to look any lower than that, gulping when he grasped my chin and tilted to make eye contact.

He arched a brow slowly. “Where are your eyes right now?”

I sputtered, trying to defend myself, but all it got me was words that didn’t make any sense. My blush worsened, and I decided, “Nowhere!”

“Is that right?” He inched closer, and our noses brushed. “Is Namjoon the only one allowed a kiss?”

“No,” I managed.

“No?” His lips grazed my cheek. “Who else?”

“You,” I whispered.

“Who?”

“You, Jin,” I insisted, getting as impatient as I was flustered.

He hummed his approval and rewarded me with a kiss, but my high alert of possible people watching made me turn and hide back in Namjoon. He chuckled while Jin commented drily, “She has favorites today.”

“No,” I retorted.

“Let me see you if you don’t have favorites, Faeryn.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Having favorites isn’t fair, but here we are.”

Yoongi wondered, “Favorites?”

I turned excitedly. “Yoongi!”

He brightened tremendously from the sight of my eagerness to see him. “Faeryn.”

I reached for him, and he took me from Namjoon, squeezing me tightly as he twirled me around a few times.

“Faeryn,” he murmured, holding me close. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too!” I kissed his cheek repeatedly. “You were so good—all of you were!”

“Thank you,” he responded gratefully. “I hope you are not too bored sitting while we are performing.”

“No way,” I gushed. “I love watching you perform.”

I pulled away just in time to see his shy smile and gave him a quick peck. “Love you, Yoongi.”

His smile grew. “I love you, Faeryn.”

I jumped up and down, happy my men were back or were approaching, and I immediately recruited Taehyung to join me as soon as he entered the room.

The two of us giggled and cheered as we jumped up and down in a circle, recruiting Yoongi next. He was surprised, but when he saw our eagerness, he joined in, although slightly shy.

Once everyone returned and took pictures, I was a blushing mess in each one, hardly able to handle how handsome and fine they looked. I kept imagining them wearing their stage clothes, teaching me the dances with their intimidating expressions and firm hands guiding my body in the way it should go until they guided it against their bodies, performing a few of the dance moves against me until I was a mess and—

In most of the pictures, I covered half of my face with my hand, trying to conceal my blushes and what they pointed to, but I was sure everyone knew. I was nearly certain my thoughts were circulating my head for everyone to see, and I felt like a mess as I stumbled out of the room, clutching Taehyung’s hand once everyone was ready to leave.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, looking down at me with light concern. “Do you have a fever?”

“No fever,” Jimin said from ahead of us, his teasing tone making me whine. “We just got her all hot, isn’t that right, honey? You liked seeing us on stage today? Those outfits did it for you, huh, baby?”

I hid my face in Taehyung’s arm, refusing to respond. He patted my arm reassuringly, but his touch only made it worse, and I was right back to squirming.

“Sorry,” he offered, and when he pulled his hand away, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight as we kept walking.

He grinned, pleased he was chosen.

Once they concluded packing at home, we headed to the airport. Unfortunately—or fortunately—for me, the clothes they changed into weren’t any less hot than the previous ones. Disguised as loungewear, their clothes clung to them perfectly, and their damp hair and fresh cologne from their showers did not help my inner turmoil.

I missed them so much, talking to them, staying up late, laughing and hanging out, being as close as we could be, but because of the distance due to their comeback and my court proceedings that I still hadn’t relayed to them, we barely saw each other.

But now, we were in close confinement as Namjoon drove a few of us to the airport, following security’s van as another followed behind—that contained Yoongi, Jungkook, and Hoseok. The rest of us sat in Namjoon’s car, and I wished we hadn’t been separated, but it happened quickly, and we were rushed to go so we wouldn’t delay their schedule.

I huffed, my seatbelt straining against my chest as I sorely missed my men while struggling to remain calm with the four present.

From beside me, Jin squeezed my inner thigh and dipped his face to catch my eye. I blushed hotly, refusing to make eye contact.

Caressing my inner thigh, he gave me a moment, but when my squirming continued, he squeezed my thigh in question. Unable to stop myself, I turned and crashed my lips into his, grabbing his shirt and pulling him as close to me as possible. His hand pressed deeply into my thigh in consequence, and I bucked my hips, trying to earn his touch where I needed it.

My actions were loud, and a low rumble left his chest.

I knew him; he would make me spell out what I needed until I was burning with need and a slight twinge of embarrassment, but I felt too far gone to feel much of it, so I sped up the process.

“Touch me,” I whispered against his lips, knowing he could hear me just fine. “Any way you want, I don’t care, so you don’t have to ask. I just want you to touch me, and yes, it’s because of your stage today, but also because I miss you and need you. Okay?” I gasped out the last words, barely able to control myself. “I need you.”

He exhaled sharply and deepened the kiss, cupping the back of my neck and drawing my lower body closer.

Without breaking the kiss, he spread my thighs apart and cupped between them, earning a desperate grind and moan from me.

He was rough, rubbing and patting around my clit before offering a few slaps. I cried out and jutted my chest forward, panting as I hoped for some attention.

Kissing along my neck, he tilted it up to look at me, allowing me to see the dark arousal and possessiveness his irises held.

With a shiver, I tried to earn his lips back, but he didn’t allow it, keeping me still as he continued his teasing, harsh touch.

I couldn’t move, pressed firmly into my seat with my seatbelt and Jin keeping me still, and I felt more desperate than before.

“Jin,” I pleaded. “Don’t tease me.”

He brought his lips back to mine, swallowing my pleas whole as his hand slipped down my jeans.

With a gasp, I arched my back for better access, chanting his name into his mouth when his fingers circled my entrance. The teasing continued for a few moments before he dipped his fingers into me, pumping them in and out at different paces, not allowing me to find a routine stable enough to induce steady pleasure—and he knew it.

“Jin,” I demanded breathlessly. “Don’t tease me.”

“Poor thing.” Jimin clicked his tongue from the front seat. “Is Jin torturing you?”

Jin didn’t let me respond, stealing my breath with his lips and fingers. On the other side of him, Taehyung watched with pinched features and his palm pressed firmly against the front of his pants.

“Jin,” I managed to get out, tearing my lips from his. “I want—put me in the middle, please. I want to be in the middle.”

“Is that right?” He stilled his fingers, earning my protests. With a low, sensual chuckle, he pressed his lips to my neck, and my skin vibrated when he spoke. “Why do you want to be put in the middle seat?”

“Taehyung,” I whined. “I want to sit next to him, too.”

Jimin sighed. “And here Namjoon and I are, suffering in the front seats.”

Jin kissed me, speaking into it, “A pleasant change for once, don’t you agree, Faeryn?” He dragged his fingers up and down in a slow, taunting manner before removing them altogether. “It’s a nice change not to drive and to be a part of things.”

“There is no thing because you’re teasing me,” I said indignantly, my lips parting when he lifted his fingers.

He arched a brow slowly. “Do you want a taste?”

Taehyung panted, “She likes doing that sometimes.”

Jin didn’t tear his eyes from mine. “Does she?”

“She did it before,” Taehyung confirmed, palming himself as he shifted in his seat. “Kept her panties in her mouth.”

Jin was looking at me as if he wanted to devour me, and Jimin turned to watch Jin press his fingers past my parted lips. I sucked without a prompt, burning up as I tried not to look at anyone, feeling the humiliation spur my arousal on. The weight and safety of his fingers made it worse, and I squirmed, leaning back and watching the string of saliva break.

“Jin,” I whispered brokenly. “Please.”

With a low sound straight from his throat, he unbuckled me and placed me in the middle, and he and Taehyung wasted no time letting their hands explore my body.

The touch alone was incredible, but paired with the possessiveness and protectiveness it held was something else entirely, and I succumbed to it, panting as I arched my back to give Jimin a good view—and Namjoon, who caught glimpses when he could from the rearview, his knuckles white around the steering wheel.

“Namjoon,” I said breathlessly, and when Jin’s fingers sped up to negate their slower pace, I cried out, begging, “Namjoon.”

Namjoon struggled to keep his composure, especially when Jimin teased, “You gonna pull over and pull your pants down?”

“Jimin,” he ground out. “I will pull you forward and out of my window. Do you want to be roadkill?”

Jimin grinned slyly. “Maybe I should go join the fun. I mean, after all, I’m not the one driving.” He patted Namjoon’s back, and the latter shook him off. “Nothing’s keeping me up here.”

“I am,” Namjoon bit out. “I’m keeping you up here.”

“Since you can’t have fun, I can’t? Is that really what you’re going for?”

“It’s either you stay buckled up or become road kill. Your choice.” Namjoon stopped exceptionally quickly at a red light, making us shift forward and back with the same speed. Turning to look at me, he pressed, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Taehyung said, startled. “What was that?”

“I wasn’t asking you.” Leaning over the center console, Namjoon made a gesture I didn’t understand until Jin shifted me forward and onto his lap, lifting my hips in an offering to Namjoon.

With my jeans unzipped and my panties pushed to the side, Namjoon cupped my aching core, slipped his two index fingers in me, and toyed with my clit using his thumb. Before I could fathom the change, stuck on pleas and moans for more pleasure no matter who in the car was providing it, he removed his hand. Instead of letting me taste myself like Jin had, Namjoon’s forefingers glided over his tongue, and he hummed thoughtfully when he removed them.

He patted my clit, much to my delight. “I don’t blame you for wanting to see how you taste.” He kissed me as the light turned green, turning around just in time to press the pedal. “You’re addictive.”

I was right back to moaning when Jimin leaned back for a taste, and as he swirled his tongue around the fingers he dipped into me, Taehyung took his turn until every man present had a taste of me.

I couldn’t breathe.

“So sweet,” Jimin crooned, cupping my face in his hands and hovering his lips over mine. “Being such a sweet little snack.”

Slipping his tongue into my mouth, he let me taste myself, and I whined, unable to stop squirming.

As soon as he pulled away, I demanded, “Make me come.”

“Ooh, what’s this?” Jimin’s teasing tone was prominent once again. “Has our sweet, mean woman come to make an appearance? Is this a comeback gift?”

“Jimin,” I snapped.

“Oh, honey, as much as I would like to oblige, you’re too far away.” His mocking pout earned my glare. “Poor baby, it’s okay. Go ahead and ask Jin and Taehyung for some help to feel your best. I can have my turn at the hotel, and if I’m feeling nice, we can let Namjoon join.”

Namjoon hit his arm, making Jimin laugh.

I turned to ask for Jin and Taehyung, but before I could, Taehyung pressed his lips to mine, and Jin returned his hand down my jeans. This time, he kept a steady pace to bring me to an orgasm, watching me closely as my body reacted positively to the stimulation.

He was quiet, speaking with his lips and fingers, but I heard him. His enjoyment and arousal were prominent, and if not by how well I could read his current expression, the noticeable bulge in his pants would be a giveaway. Taehyung was the same, but just like he couldn’t keep his hands away from me, he couldn’t keep his other hand away from his dick, pressing and pushing to alleviate the pressure.

I fumbled with his zipper until he realized what I wanted and eagerly complied, bucking into my hand and moaning into our kiss.

We had to hurry; the airport was five minutes away, and none of us had orgasmed.

Flicking my wrist around Taehyung, I reached for Jin, and he allowed it, his jaw clenched as I touched him over his pants. Pulling away from Taehyung’s lips for a moment, I asked Jin headily, “Do you—I mean, are you going to—?”

“What, Faeryn?” He leaned forward, brushing his nose against my cheek. “Do you think I’m overexcited?”

I blushed. “I was just asking. I could help.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“But I’m helping Taehyung,” I countered.

“Yes. Well.” His lips tugged upward, conveying his amusement. “Taehyung tends to be overexcited, doesn’t he?”

Taehyung fought back, “If you’re trying to make me feel bad for how much I enjoy Faeryn’s touch, it’s not going to happen.”

Jin smiled against my cheek. “I don’t like being rushed. I don’t enjoy it.”

“Later?” I pressed, gasping when he curled his fingers within me.

“If we can get a moment alone at the hotel, we’ll start something we can finish.” His breath ghosted my cheek before he pulled away and kissed me heatedly, cupping the back of my neck firmly and using it to guide me back to Taehyung’s kiss. “For now, enjoy yourself.” He leaned back in the seat, starting to bounce me on his thigh. “We have five minutes.”

The bouncing caused a new sensation, heightened how good his fingers already felt, and I whimpered as my orgasm tickled my stomach.

“Oh, the poor thing is close,” Jimin sympathized. “Taehyung, make her feel better. Big, mean Jin is being, well, big, mean Jin. I mean, edging her until she couldn’t take it anymore? How cruel can one be?”

Namjoon raised a brow. “You do it all the time.”

“At least I talk her through it,” Jimin said smoothly. “Isn’t that right, honey? Big, mean Jin is being ever-so-stoic while he makes you fall apart on his fingers.”

“He said later,” I stammered.

“Later what, baby?” Jimin asked, chuckling. “He’ll be nice to you later?”

“Jin’s nice,” I argued breathlessly, whining as I ground against Jin’s fingers. “He just—he likes being with me in private more.” I shuddered with pleasure. “Right, Jin?”

He hummed his approval, shifting my hair away from my shoulder and offering a kiss to the area. “Very good, Faeryn. That’s right.”

The praise was the final thing to send me over the edge, and I immediately burst into tears, so overwhelmed by such intense pleasure after what felt like forever without.

Jin removed his fingers carefully but kept a gentle bounce as I came down from my high, shivering and stammering my thanks as I slumped against him, still gripping Taehyung’s dick.

“Faeryn,” Taehyung said shakily. “Are you okay?”

I nodded blearily, immediately turning and beginning to mouth at Jin’s neck for comfort, still pumping Taehyung’s dick lazily.

“Needed it,” I whimpered. “So bad. Missed everyone so much.”

“We’re right here,” Jin said firmly, rubbing my back while Jimin rummaged around for wipes we kept in the glove compartment. “We have the whole plane ride together and a night at the hotel. All of us with you, Faeryn, just like it always will be.”

I nodded, humming my satisfaction and stroking Taehyung faster.

“Faeryn,” he panted. “I’m going to—”

Shifting away from Jin, I lowered myself and took Taehyung in my mouth, making him release a string of curses.

“The taste?” he pressed anxiously, barely able to keep himself from tipping over the edge.

I nodded, mumbling dazedly around his cock, “I want it.”

He came immediately, groaning as he carefully thrust into my mouth. I swallowed everything down out of sheer arousal and because I didn’t want him to dirty his pants, and afterward, I pulled my mouth up and offered the head of his cock a kiss.

“Oh my goodness,” Jimin crooned. “Such a pretty kiss.”

I blushed, licking my lips as I tried not to focus on the taste too much.

Namjoon chuckled, seeing right through me via the rearview mirror. “We’ll wash your mouth out on the plane.”

Taehyung leaned back, breathing heavily. “Sorry, Faeryn.”

“Sorry?” I turned to him, still a little fuzzy myself. “No, I wanted to. You don’t taste bad; it’s just my fault that I don’t like anyone’s…you know.”

Jimin and Namjoon cracked up, and I pointed at them, insisting, “Be nice to me.”

“You’re just too shy, even after all this time?” Jimin pouted mockingly. “Poor baby. Do you want to sit on my lap on the plane? Hm? Let me give you a course on how to say such hard words?”

I threw a dirty wipe at him as Jin continued cleaning me up despite my fuss.

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t have.” Jimin’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “I’ll keep this near and dear to me. Consider it my second comeback gift.”

I fake gagged, and he laughed.

Refocusing on Taehyung to ensure he was okay, I kissed his cheek repeatedly, smiling at him as my tears began to dry. “Love you, Taehyung. Love you. My best crochet buddy.”

He brightened immediately and pushed forward to hug me. “I love you, too, my best crochet buddy.”

“Adorable,” Jimin praised. “And gag-worthy. Speaking of gags, honey, I have a few ideas I’d like to share with you.”

I touched my bright, red cheeks. “Jimin!”

“Hm?”

“I just…you know! So you can’t talk about any of that kind of stuff right now.”

“Uh-huh.” His teasing smile appeared. “How about at the hotel?”

I huffed, and my breath hitched when Jin took special care around my clit with the wipe. “I—I don’t know.”

“No? Hm? You don’t know? Aw, poor Faeryn. You just can’t concentrate when Jin’s paying such special attention to your pretty pussy, huh, baby?”

My cheeks burned brighter than before, and I clutched them for solace. “Stop teasing me,” I complained, gasping when Jin patted my clit in an almost fond motion.

Kissing beneath my ear, he rumbled, “Relax.”

His amused tone just made me squirm more.

“Relax,” he reiterated, cupping between my thighs and offering a light shake. “Yes?”

“Yes, Jin,” I managed. “I will.”

“Taming the brat,” Jimin teased me, cackling when Jin shot him a stern look.

I cuddled closer to Jin because of it and grabbed Taehyung’s hand for a reassuring squeeze, sending Jimin a triumphant look.

“Ah, the brat remains,” Jimin taunted, laughing when Namjoon hit his arm again.

“Leave her alone,” Namjoon laughed, shaking his head as we pulled into the airport. “Give her a second to breathe.”

“She didn’t care about breathing as much as she did about orgasming a second ago,” Jimin pointed out.

I huffed, pointing at him in warning. “Wait until we’re in the plane.”

“Yeah, baby? Gonna be my sweet, mean woman and show me who’s boss?”

I scowled. “I will.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I said so, didn’t I?”

Taehyung patted my arm comfortingly. “Jimin can be a lot to handle, can’t he? You can just ignore him; that’s what I do.”

Jimin laughed.

Taehyung cracked a grin, slowly catching his bearings from our moments of sensuality minutes before. “Do you feel okay?”

I nodded, clinging to Jin’s forearm as he unbuckled himself. “I feel really good. Do you feel okay?” My brows furrowed as I concentrated on his blissful expression. “You’re okay?”

“So okay,” he replied cheekily, kissing me softly. “You made me feel incredible.”

I beamed and deepened the kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he murmured, pulling back to press scattered kisses around my face.

“All right,” Namjoon said from the front, adjusting his pants. He glared at Jimin, who snickered and put his hands up in surrender. “Let’s go check in.”

Jin unlocked the car, and my head whipped toward him. “Jin, take me with you?”

“I’m not letting you go,” was his firm response as if he hadn’t thought of doing otherwise.

I sighed contentedly and nestled closer to him, smiling brightly at Taehyung and mouthing, “My best crochet buddy.”

He beamed. “And you are mine,” he mouthed.

I claimed a final kiss with him before Jin carried me out of the car and toward the airport. With how he held me, his signs of arousal were hidden, but every step made it nudge against me. Dizzy, I mouthed against his neck and controlled myself, knowing people could see us. Namjoon and Jimin weren’t doing much better, but they opted for pushing their suitcases and bags in front of them to hide themselves.

On the plane, Jungkook was cheery and happy to see me after a ride here without, and I went to reach for him but missed Jin’s warmth more than I realized I would, and buried myself back within him.

“Ducky,” Jungkook coaxed. “Hi.”

I wiggled comfortably in Jin’s lap, refusing to be put in my seat until it was announced on the overhead speakers to.

“Ducky,” Jungkook tried again, rubbing my back. “Hi. Do you feel okay?”

“She’s fine,” Jimin told him, passing by and pinching his ass.

Jungkook yelped with surprise, rubbing his ass for solace. “Hyung.”

“Yeah, bunny?”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Aw, but I answered, didn’t I?” Jimin took a seat, reclining immediately. “Honey, what happened to our promise in the car earlier? You’re a bit too far away for that, hm?”

“No plane sex,” Namjoon said decisively, although he laughed when Jimin threw a crumpled-up piece of paper at him. “This isn’t our property.”

“Could be,” Jimin responded laughingly, settling into his seat more comfortably. “We could buy it now.”

“What?” Taehyung started to laugh. “So you can have plane sex since you missed your shot in the car?”

Jungkook and Hoseok’s heads whipped around, immediately drawn to the topic at hand.

“Car sex?” Jungkook whispered loudly. “When?”

“When do you think?” Taehyung teased.

Jungkook crossed his arms and leaned against Jin’s seat, glaring at Taehyung. “I don’t listen to anyone who brushes their teeth before eating.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to listen to me, but I’m the one who was a part of the car sex, wasn’t I?”

Jungkook’s lips parted with betrayal. “Hyung.”

Taehyung laughed a bit, hurrying over to Jungkook and pulling him into a hug, although the younger man fussed and tried to push away at first.

“I’m just teasing,” Taehyung consoled him playfully, ruffling his hair.

“So you didn’t have car sex?”

“Well, it was foreplay, so no…you know. Penetration.”

Jungkook’s shoulders slumped. “Without Hoseok and me? Yoongi doesn’t care. He doesn’t like sex.”

Yoongi cleared his throat awkwardly. “That is not true.”

We all looked at him; I even peeked over Jin’s shoulder.

Yoongi turned a dark red but held strong. “I enjoy it when I enjoy the person.”

“Huh.” Jimin jutted his bottom lip out, impressed. “That’s a great way to put it.”

Yoongi looked slightly proud of himself. “Ah. Thank you. It is a much shorter version of explaining what demi-sexuality is.”

“Oh yeah.” Jungkook nodded. “Sometimes I forget. Sorry, hyung. I just think that you don’t like sex sometimes because…well, you know. You never do it.”

“A bit brass today, huh, bunny?” Jimin teased lightly.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, smiling bashfully. “Sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, it is all right,” Yoongi responded with a small smile of his own. “I only wanted to clear up what you said, more so for…Faeryn’s sake, although she and I have had conversations about this.”

I nodded quickly, and when he caught the motion and looked at me, I showed a big smile. It caused his to grow. Jungkook noticed and pushed Taehyung away, apparently done with the hug.

“Faeryn,” he pressed, angling his face to see mine. “Why are you talking to everyone but me?”

“She’s not exactly talking,” Taehyung sided with me. “She’s trying to live inside Jin’s shirt.”

I hummed my agreement, kissing Jin’s neck ardently.

“Faeryn,” Jungkook said, sounding hurt.

I lifted my face a bit and waved, slumping right back into Jin afterward.

“She’s tired,” Jin cut in, his deep voice making me melt. “Don’t take it personally, Jungkook. You don’t like speaking when you’re tired either.”

“I know that,” Jungkook snapped. “But I want to make sure she’s okay, and I don’t like being shut out.”

It was quiet for a passing beat before Taehyung echoed, “Shut out?”

“That’s what I said,” Jungkook said peevishly.

“Yeah, well, you know what?” Taehyung crossed his arms. “This is the part where you elaborate. You didn’t have to snap at Jin like that.”

“Yeah, well, you know what?” Jungkook fought back, standing up taller. “You don’t have to speak for Jin hyung.”

Jin continued rubbing my back as I remained frozen with my face deep in his neck, feeling a copious amount of guilt. He allowed them to try and figure it out, giving them ample time, and so did the others, simply watching and listening intently.

“Forget what I said about Jin then,” Taehyung continued, annoyed. “What are you talking about? How is Faeryn shutting you out when she’s not actively talking to any of us right now? You know she doesn’t talk much or at all when she’s tired, and she waved at you.”

“I don’t want a wave,” Jungkook said loudly. “I want communication so that nothing bad will happen, but instead, I’m being shut out.”

Dragging myself out of my tired haze, I lifted my head with a struggle. “Stop,” I demanded, my words slightly lisped due to exhaustion. “No arguing. Not shutting out Jungkook. Just tired.”

Jungkook looked torn. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay. When you don’t talk, something could be wrong, and—” He cut himself off with a shaky breath, earning the concern of me and the others. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Not,” I pushed out the available words to me. “Not hurt. Promise.” I signed, “I love you. Don’t worry. Feel good.”

He looked like he wanted to burst, but even so, he didn’t reveal what he truly wanted to say. I could see it. He wanted to press the topic of Jaehyun and what I had been doing with my friends, but he dropped it.

“Okay,” he said quietly, upset and hurt and worried. He walked to the furthest seat available.

“Jungkook,” almost everyone called after him, confused and concerned.

“I’m fine,” he said wearily, grabbed a blanket from his bag, and pulled it over his head, bundling up and ignoring everyone.

“Leave him,” Namjoon told us before anyone could press the topic. “Give him time to cool down.”

Jin let Namjoon handle it, and as the others agreed and dispersed to their seats, Jin eased me back into his neck.

Near my ear, just for us, he commanded, “Breathe.” His hand warmed my back up and down, up and down. “You’re dropping.”

I teared up. “Not hiding,” I croaked. “Not shutting out.”

“You’re not ready to communicate, which is something you already communicated to us. I know,” he added lowly, “you’re not shutting us out. You’re waiting for when the time is right.”

I swallowed, surprised at how correct he was. “Promise. I’ll tell you.”

“I know you will, Faeryn. I have no doubts about that.” He kissed just beneath my ear. “Breathe through it. Sleep if you can.”

I clung to him, tensing with anticipation for the announcement. “Stay. With you.”

“We’ll lift the armrest, but you need to stay in your seat when the announcement comes. It’s safest that way.”

“Jin,” I whispered, pleading.

“Your safety is a priority, Faeryn.” He pressed me closer to him firmly. “Breathe. You’ll be able to lay your head on my shoulder during the plane ride.”

“Not close enough,” I signed dejectedly.

“I’ll keep you close to me during the ride, and afterward, I’ll keep you in my arms. Yes?”

I nodded sullenly, and he tipped my chin up for a firm, tender kiss.

“Relax,” he instructed, a gentle command. “We’ll be as close as this once the plane ride is over.”

The announcement broke through our conversation, and with a wobbling chin and teary eyes, I clung to Jin until I couldn’t anymore, sitting in the seat beside him instead of with him.

“Faeryn.” His features went rigid when he viewed my tears, and leaning closer, the pads of his thumb swiped them away firmly. “Whatever is upsetting you that you aren’t ready to communicate with me or the others, it will pass, but we won’t. We’re right here. I need you to hear me when I say that.”

I nodded, linking my arm through his and holding on tight.

He kissed the side of my head protectively. “Try to sleep.”

I sniffled. “Jurassic Park?”

“Yes, you can watch Jurassic Park.” He reached forward and pulled the TV forward, navigating to the movie for me. “Which one?”

“First one.” I hid half of my face in his arm, peeking over just enough to view the TV. I remembered to add, “Please.”

One hand through my hair while the other worked the remote, successfully finding the movie and pressing play.

He began fitting headphones around my ears, but I shook my head quickly and jerked back. He lifted a questioning brow but didn’t push it, simply awaiting my response.

“Want to hear everyone,” I told him quietly. “Missed you.”

He dipped his face and kissed me. “We’re right here with you.”

We kept the TV on low and turned the subtitles on, and I basked in my favorite movie and the quiet chatter of my men.

Seven hours later, I woke up to Jin carrying me into a hotel. Startled, I stirred in his arms restlessly, only settling when he kissed my head with firm repetition to calm me down. Fisting his shirt in my hand, I blinked drowsily as I became accustomed to my surroundings.

“Home?” I wondered.

“We’re at the hotel,” he responded, keeping his voice low for my sake.

I buried my face in his shoulder, peeking out when I heard Jungkook’s voice. He didn’t sound as upset as before, rummaging through his suitcase while responding to something Jimin asked him. He didn’t look at me, and I looked away before he could, unsure how to broach the subject without outing myself.

The unpleasant twist in my gut reminded me of how horrible it felt to keep something from them; it felt like lying, as if I was deceiving them, and guilt threatened to tear me apart. The only thing stopping me was the guilt I knew I would feel if I ruined the joy, focus, and excitement of their comeback by telling them.

One more month, then I could tell them. All I had to do was keep it between my friends and me.

Jin carried me into the bathroom and carefully pried my arms away from his neck when I kept clinging to him, informing me in his no-nonsense tone, “We’re showering.”

I unlatched my legs from around his waist and complied, slightly embarrassed.

He kissed my forehead when he saw my expression. “Arms up.”

I listened and allowed him to undress me, sighing contentedly when he let me help him, too. The shower was warm, and the heat and his hands helped me gently wake up.

As I was drying my hair while he tugged his sweatpants on, Taehyung knocked and called, “Hey, Hoseok’s ordering room service.”

Jin jutted his chin toward the door, a silent instruction for me to go and order what I wanted.

“Jin,” I whispered urgently, claiming his hand while he grabbed a towel for his hair.

He didn’t seem to mind the sudden neediness I was struck with, and instead complied, squeezing my hand as he told Taehyung, “Faeryn will take a potato dish with strawberry pie for dessert, and I’ll take whatever Namjoon is having.”

“Okay, thanks, hyung,” Taehyung said, his voice fading from the door as he relayed the information to Hoseok.

Jin looked down at me. “There’s a tea kettle in our kitchen; Jimin will brew tea for you.”

I squeezed his hand gratefully, feeling it necessary to add, “I don’t have to be next to you.”

“No, you don’t. Would you prefer to be far away from me instead?” I noticed the slight tease his tone held, but more so the seriousness laced within it.

I shook my head, looking down at the floor. “I don’t want to annoy you, so I can go away if you want me to. I mean, if you want your space.” I winced. “I’m being clingy and needy.”

“Then be clingy and needy.” He grasped my face, angling it to his. “I can be clung to, and I can be needed. It’s not an inconvenience to me.”

“Okay,” I said uncertainly, my lips forming a pout from how he pushed my cheeks. “But if you don’t want me to anymore—”

“I like being clung to.” He lowered himself to my height, bringing my face to his. “And I like being needed. You,” he reiterated, “are not an inconvenience.”

I breathed a little easier. “Thank you. I was just—I wanted to make sure.”

“And you can. I’ll always respond truthfully.” He caressed my chin. “You know that.”

“I know that,” I said quietly, pushing myself forward for a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me and applied pressure. “It will pass.”

“It will pass,” I echoed.

“It will,” he confirmed. “But for now, we can focus on having dinner together. All of us.”

“Yeah.” I gnawed on my lip, enjoying the idea. “All together. It’s been a while since we had a dinner together that wasn’t rushed because of the comeback.”

He caressed my hair. “Is there anything about the comeback that’s especially hard for you?”

“I just miss you,” I admitted. “I know I see you on stage, but I miss being together as much as we were. It’s okay,” I was quick to add. “I’m having a lot of fun, and I’m really grateful we can go to America together, and that I can take so much time off to be with all of you. I was just saying that I missed you.”

“I know what you were saying. I know.” He clasped the back of my neck, squeezing reassuringly. “How are you feeling around our staff?”

“Mm…more familiar?” I nodded to cement my words. “Yeah, more familiar. I’m glad Jaehyun is here because I’ve known him for longer.”

“You seem to be getting close to him,” he noted.

“We’re friends now. I…think. I told Ke—” I cut myself off before I could say Kenley’s name, turning slightly pale. “I mean, I told someone he was my friend when he was there to hear me, and he didn’t say that he wasn’t, so…I think that means we’re friends, but I’m not really sure how that works.”

“How what works?” He continued caressing my hair, and nothing in his tone gave away if he knew what my cut-off sentence was meant to conclude.

“When you start being friends with someone,” I responded, leaning into his touch. “It’s a little confusing because I think we’re friends after a few days of talking.”

“That can be true. It depends on both parties, and if Jaehyun didn’t refuse the title, he accepted it.”

“Is that how it works?”

“It’s how Jaehyun works. For others, it might not.”

My nose scrunched. “Making friends is confusing.”

“It can be.” He set his chin atop my head. “Faeryn.”

I blinked. “Yes, Jin?”

“It’s important that your friends respect and care about you.”

“I know.”

“I know you do.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “Then why—”

“I also know that you tend to put others over yourself,” he continued. “If you want to be friends with someone who tends to hurt feelings because of the way they speak, stay firm to your boundaries and reinstate them. They will resonate, and if they don’t, you don’t need that friendship.”

“What if the person is trying and doesn’t know how to have friends, so friendship is a new concept to them? If they get the formula right, then—well, not formula, but just the way boundaries work—they’ll know how to be a good friend.”

“It depends on the person.”

“I…well, I know, but hypothetically,” I explained.

“Hypothetically speaking, if they follow your boundaries once you make them known, but they struggle occasionally, it depends on which boundaries. Some are bigger than others.”

“Well…what if they just needed to get to know me better to see what hurts my feelings and what doesn’t?” I paused. “Hypothetically.”

“They need to know how to be a friend to themselves before they can be a good friend to you or anyone else. Autism or not, a person can learn how to prevent reaching the point of lashing out. Yes, it’s different with Autism, but coping skills exist.” His hand lifted to my throat, applying a dizzying amount of firm, delicious pressure. “That is, however, if this hypothetical person has Autism.”

A dazed expression filled my face, and a contented sigh escaped my parted lips. “Yeah. Hypothetically.” Holding where his hand lay around my throat, I asked, “If I can tell there’s growth, and that they’re really trying, that’s good, right?”

“Growth is good, but it has to be continual. Short spurts of change can be manipulation, not actual change. It can be a tactic to keep you with them.”

“Well…I don’t think…” I trailed off, refusing to speak Kenley’s name again. “I don’t think this hypothetical person would do that or have a reason to.”

“That could be the case, but we should always be careful when choosing our friends.”

“I know,” I confirmed, my eyes fluttering when his hand applied further pressure.

With his hold on me, and my back to his chest, he lowered his face and tilted mine to allow a deep, protective kiss.

“Be careful,” he spoke against my lips, brushing his nose against my cheek. “With this hypothetical person.”

I tried to nod, but with the current position, I couldn’t. “I will, Jin.”

His hum against my lips made me vibrate where I stood. “Very good, Faeryn.” His free hand roamed my stomach, using it to keep my back pressed firmly against his chest. “You’re capable; I’m well aware, but reminders are useful. Use them,” he said knowingly.

“I will, Jin,” I managed as my body stuttered closer to his.

“I know you will.” His breath heated my cheek. “And I appreciate it, Faeryn.”

“Thank you,” I breathed out, my eyes fluttering when he bestowed another heated kiss. “Love you, Jin.”

His fingers tapped against my throat, and a low hum left my mouth for his. “I love you, Faeryn.”

Notes:

Happy one year to Belonging To Them! Thank you all for reading my story; it means so much to me :')

Chapter 67: Together in the Shower

Summary:

Faeryn tries to juggle keeping court a secret, not blatantly lying to her men, and being in the moment with them.

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Jungkook wouldn't look at me during dinner, and I barely finished my food because of it. Not even the strawberry pie was enough to gain my failing appetite.

He nibbled into his slice of pecan pie, making small huffing sounds of enjoyment before huddling into himself when I glanced at him. The back of my eyes stung at the slight rejection, and I looked at my pie resolutely, thinking hard on how I could fix things without putting a strain on the joy of their comeback.

Thinking against going to him until I had a better idea of how to fix things, I remained tightly tucked beside Jin on the hotel couch. Much like the hotel we shared with Kenley, we all had our rooms connected but separated by doors.

Jin leisurely ate his food with one hand while the other kept my waist warm, and I lay my head on his shoulder as I pushed my pie around with my spoon, stabbing it a few times, scooping it, and putting it back on the plate. He squeezed my waist, knowing something was wrong but not prompting what, only bestowing affection to make me feel better, but nothing would help me feel better until court was over, so I could tell Jungkook and everyone what was going on.

I hung my head miserably.

"Faeryn," Taehyung said from the other side of the room, setting his cup of soda down. "What's wrong?"

My eyes widened, and I popped my head up. "I'm—no, I'm fine!" I breathed heavily, struggling to smooth things over without lying. "I was just..."

Jungkook's huffing stopped, and the lack of my sound earned a tentative peek from me. He was staring at me, and caught in the act, I blinked quickly a few times.

Reining myself in and putting them at the forefront, I held my breath, pushed everything into focus, and directed my words to Jungkook.

"I'm sorry," I told him quietly. "I can't talk about what's going on yet, but I'm not shutting you out, okay? We can talk about anything else, but I can't talk about this. I'm sorry that I couldn't really talk on the plane, but it wasn't because I was hurt; it was because I felt really nice, so words just felt so far away, but I wasn't ignoring you or anyone. I was just with Jin at the time, and he was warm, and I didn't want to move or speak."

Exhaustion pushed my voice to break. "I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings or made you scared. I'm okay, I promise." My smile wobbled. "I'm really sorry."

Jungkook's guilt permeated the air, and the quick pitter-patter of his sock-padded feet hurriedly approached. "Faeryn, Faeryn, I'm sorry, it's all my fault. Please don't say sorry, please don't, it's okay. You already told me that you weren't ready to talk about, so I shouldn't have asked again."

"No," I protested in his favor. "You're just worried. It's okay, right? It was just a misunderstanding, and...and I know that you think I'm being hurt because I won't fully communicate, but don't worry, because I'm not being hurt. I would tell you, I really would, Jungkook. I wouldn't keep myself in danger; I've learned that it's not good to do that."

His features slackened with relief. "You promise?"

"I promise," I swore earnestly.

He nodded quickly, as if sealing my promise into place. "Okay," he said breathily. "Okay. I won't ask about it again. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I refused immediately, shaking my head quickly. "It's okay! You were just worried."

Namjoon cut in smoothly, "Neither of you needs to be sorry. It's over; a discussion was held, and a resolution was found." He looked between us, keeping us in his soft gaze. "All right?"

"Okay," Jungkook and I agreed, sharing a shy smile.

As soon as we did, he breathed out, "Oh, Faeryn," and hurried into my outstretched arms. Hugging me tightly, he kissed all over my neck and face, speaking his fervent love for me between each one.

I squeezed him as tightly as I could as my stomach coiled with guilt and stress, my mind ruminating about court. "I love you," I said fiercely, kissing the top of his head. I loved him and the others so much, which is why I wouldn't tell them just yet. They deserved every bit of happiness this long-awaited comeback gave them, and I would be patient and strong and wait.

Now sitting between Jin and Jungkook, I forced the rest of the pie down my throat because I didn't want anyone to worry about my sudden loss of appetite. It was growing steadily harder to hide my anxious tics from them, and I could tell they saw my fingers flicking and rapid darts of my eyes as my thoughts ran rampant.

After ten minutes, I stood. "Wow, I think I just—" I laughed awkwardly. "I think I need to sit on the balcony for a little while. Fresh air. You know?"

They all looked at me.

I smiled weakly. "I'm..." I jutted my thumb toward the balcony's doors. "I'm going to go now."

"Faeryn?" Jungkook asked, leaning over Jin as I walked to the balcony.

I glanced at him. "I'm fine! I just need some fresh air." I patted my stomach lightly. "I also ate too fast, so the fresh air will help, I think."

He gnawed on his bottom lip and nodded slowly. "Okay. We're here if you need us—all of us, right, hyungs?"

Unanimous agreement quickly filled the air.

Jungkook gave me a reassuring smile. "See?"

I managed a nod and another smile.

"Can you wait one second?" Hoseok asked me, standing from his seat.

I backed up, ready to bolt before I could reveal my truth and ruin their night, but the removal of his cardigan caught my attention. Carefully dropping it from his shoulders, he walked to me steadily and relinquished it to me.

"It's chilly," he said softly. "Stay warm."

I nodded, showed a strained, grateful smile, and took his cardigan with me to the balcony. Once I claimed the lounge chair furthest away from the door and out of sight of my men, I took a few minutes to cry now that I knew it wouldn't ruin their night.

Only marginally out of my system, my tears drenched my cheeks as I dialed Lyric's number. She picked up on the fourth ring, sounding surprised.

"Fae? What's going on? Aren't you having your night with your harem?"

I burst into tears all over again, and she was quick to backtrack, blurting, "It's okay if the plans got changed! Hey! Plans change all the time, pfft, happens to the best of us—even me! Especially me. So don't even worry about it, okay?"

"It's my fault," I said, a blubbering mess. "I had to leave because I was too nervous."

"What did they do?!"

"Nothing! Jungkook's worried and knows something's going on, but I can't tell him yet because—well, you know why! I'm nervous I'll tell them and ruin their comeback."

"Ryker ruins everything, that small-dicked man! Puny, I tell you, puny!"

I tugged Hoseok's cardigan on for comfort, enjoying how it was long enough to cover my hands by a few inches, and curled into the chair.

"Lyric," I lamented. "I want all of this to be over, and I don't want Ryker to ask for a continuance or for the judge to grant it. If I think about it for too long, it feels like I made a mistake."

"Standing up for yourself isn't a mistake, you hear me? You've been so badass! Even when you cry, you're a badass, you got it?" she fumed. "Badasses know their limits and when it's to let it go and cry it out!"

I sniffled. "Really?"

"Fuck yeah!"

I inhaled the vanilla clinging to Hoseok's cardigan. "Okay. I'll try not to think about it anymore, so I won't feel like I made a mistake."

"Just take it easy as best as you can, okay? It'll be over soon, and think of the bright side! Even if Ryker gets a continuance, the restraining order will last for that long, too."

I paused. "That's true."

"I only speak facts, babes!"

"That's not completely true," I told her, basking in the light breeze the night brought with it. "Like when you use sarcasm, or say things figuratively, or get embarrassed and make something up that's not true, or—"

"I get it, I get it, omg, why are you outing me in this manner? At 7 PM, no less!"

I giggled tiredly. "Sorry."

Her tone noticeably brightened. "There's that pretty laugh! Ugh, I love your laugh. I'm two seconds away from making it my ring tone, I swear."

I smiled a little. "Thanks for picking up when I called."

"Uh, yeah, duh?! I will always pick up when you call! That's what best friends are for, Fae. It's, like, in the best friend handbook!"

"I never read that book."

"I made it up just now."

My smile grew a little bigger. "See? You make things up."

"For fun," she teased. "Plus, I'm sure there's a best friend handbook somewhere."

Cheverie asked, "Who's on the phone?"

"Only my best friend," Lyric said, her hand muffling the phone's receiver. "The fuck?!"

Cheverie sounded closer than before. "Hey, Faeryn. How's the night going with your men?"

I shook Hoseok's cardigan sleeve, letting my fingers peek out. "I cried and feel like I ruined it."

She sighed. "Crying doesn't ruin anything. Crying's good."

Lyric hooted, "Look at that! Her associate's degree is coming through time and time again. It took a hot minute, but better late than never as I always say."

"You never say that," Cheverie and I responded.

"Fuck, well, I'm going to start," Lyric defended herself, gasping with indignation when Cheverie chuckled. "Who do you think you're laughing at?!"

"Who else, Lyric? No one's here but us."

"Faeryn's here," Lyric pointed out. "On the phone, dumbass."

"Call me dumbass again. See what happens."

"What, you like honey bug better?" Lyric's grin could be heard even through the phone, and mischief leaked into the night. "Because I could go right back to that."

"Your nicknames are lacking," Cheverie retorted. "Ask Jaehyun; he'll agree with me."

At the mention of his name, I wondered, "Do you think that Jaehyun sees me as his friend?"

"Yeah, probably," Cheverie agreed.

"He's doing a lot for you," Lyric added. "He doesn't do that for anyone—barely does it for me, and I've known him since I was practically shot out of the womb."

"I could have lived a happy life without ever hearing that," Cheverie said drily, and Lyric's laughter was followed by a rustling on her side of the phone and shrieks of protest as she seemed to be pushing Cheverie away—and whatever attack the latter was initiating.

"Faeryn!" Lyric said through her laughter. "I'm being tormented!"

An 'oomph' left Cheverie, followed by her indignant reminder, "We made a rule about not throwing pillows."

"New rule," Lyric decided, further away from the phone. "If you tickle me, all rules don't exist." She gasped, not even a second later, and I heard the thump of a pillow. "No throwing pillows! That's a rule! Faeryn," she tattled, "Cheverie threw a pillow at me, even when it's against the roommate rules on our fridge."

"I want to throw pillows," I said hopefully. "Can we do that on our next girls' night?"

"Fuck yeah we can!" Lyric said mischievously. "A pillow fight."

"Absolutely not," Cheverie denied us. "You'll end up in tears."

"From laughter." Lyric cackled like a comic book villain. "When I win!"

Cheverie seemed to hurl another pillow because Lyric howled in pain a split second later.

"Time out!" A thump alerted me that Lyric had fallen to the floor. "Where's the ref? Blow a whistle; I'm hurt! Foul play!"

Cheverie's snickering turned into laughter when mine appeared, and my smile remained, not feeling as strained now that my tears had stopped.

"I'm glad some violence could cheer you up," Lyric chirped. "We are so having a pillow fight on our next girls' night."

I giggled, resting my head on the chair. "What will you both do now?"

They talked to me for a while, telling me about their day and their night in, and I listened until I began drifting to sleep.

"She's totally falling asleep," Lyric told Cheverie. "She hasn't responded to anything we've said in the past five minutes. This is how it always happens during our girls' nights; she's awake, and then she's semi awake, and then she's gone."

My phone beeped with a text, and a discontented sound left me as I refused to check it, already slipping away again.

"Fae, answer my text, so you can stay awake," Lyric encouraged. "Don't fall off the balcony. Shit, seriously, don't fall off the balcony. How close are you to the edge?"

I could hear her, but she was mixing into my dreams.

"Fae!" she hollered. "Shit, Chev, she's out. Do you have her harem's numbers?"

"Jin called my phone after Faeryn had her Echolalia attack, and I saved his number. I thought it would be good for emergencies."

"Shit, really? Text him!"

A minute later, the balcony's door opened, and Jin's familiar step sounded. It mingled into my dream just like Cheverie's and Lyric's voices did, and I hummed, content to be in such a pleasant haze.

"Jin, is that you?" Lyric asked. "Don't let her fall off the balcony! Oh my gosh, what would I do without her?!"

"I appreciate your concern," Jin said deeply, his voice quiet for my sake as its familiarity comforted me. "But she's nowhere close to the end of the balcony. The railing is high enough to prevent that."

Lyric sighed with relief. "Oh, fuck. That's great news."

Cheverie chuckled. "Goodnight, Jin, and goodnight, Faeryn."

"Goodnight!" Lyric chimed in. "Faeryn, if you can hear me, sweet dreams! You're so loved!"

The phone call ended on her side, and as Jin carefully pulled me into his arms and slipped my phone into his pocket, he murmured, "You are so loved."

As soon as my cheek met his shoulder, I was fast asleep.

꧁꧂

I woke up in Jin's bed, tangled in the sheets and Hoseok's cardigan. Bringing the sleeves to my face, I let the vanilla scent gently anchor me into the morning.

Lifting my face after a few moments of deep breathing, I turned when I heard the steady thrum of the shower.

Untangling myself from the sheets, I peeled off Hoseok's cardigan, carefully folded it on the bed, and walked out of the rest of my clothes as I made it to the bathroom door. Opening it, I walked sleepily to the shower and knocked on the glass barrier.

Jin opened it, and I sighed contentedly at the view. His lips tugged at the corners as he fought a smile, but it pulled through when I pushed my hand out to be taken. Bringing me into the shower with him, he closed the glass door behind us and eased me beneath the warm water.

I exhaled gratification and pressed my cheek into his chest, rubbing it around to bask in the firmness.

He caressed my hair as the water did the same, and a low chuckle left him. "You're half asleep."

I shook my head, thought about it, and nodded.

He chuckled again, holding my waist with one hand to steady me. "Stand still."

I hummed my protest, wordlessly conveying that I was standing still—or trying to. Each wave of sleepiness made me sway.

Amused, he pulled me to him, causing our chests to be flush. "Mhm."

In and out of a dreamy haze as he washed my body and hair, I was closer to being awake than before, thanks to his hands and the shower's warmth.

Slightly more awake, I kissed him, reveling in his usual protective hold and firm lips.

"Jin," I whispered, not wanting to taint the morning air with speech. "Are we rushing for anything?"

His chest rumbled beneath my hands. "Why do you ask?"

"You know why," I responded with rosy cheeks.

"Tell me." His thumb swiped along my chin. "Tell me what you need."

"You," I whispered, gripping his shoulders tightly. "I need you."

"How is your headspace for that?"

"Good," I breathed out.

His knuckles caressed the side of my face. "Good?" he murmured.

I nodded quickly. "Sleep helped."

He hummed at the hopeful expression I wore. "Good." He lifted my left thigh and held it up in place. "How much," he breathed against my cheek, "do you need?"

I shivered. "Everything."

He teased me, running his hand down my back until he squeezed my ass, patting until his fingers slipped lower to toy at my clit. Patting, rubbing, and circling, he took his time torturing me until my moans filled the air.

Satisfied by the sound, his eyes darkened as his grip on me tightened. Keeping me steady, he pushed me up against the shower wall, and I whimpered as he aligned himself with me.

I was ready and desperate for him, and the first slide of his dick inside of me made me crumble. My lips parted with ecstasy, and the warm water only amplified it. Warm; I was warm everywhere, and I could feel Jin everywhere.

The sound of pleasure I evoked from him heightened my pleasure, and due to the intense comfort and pleasure he was providing me, I came embarrassingly quickly. He thrust through my orgasm, rumbling his approval as his speed became slow and deep.

I whined and moaned, grasping his strong forearms as he approached his orgasm. Pulling out, he came a few minutes later, and I pushed my thighs together at the sight, enjoying his taut features and muscles because of the pleasure I provided him.

Out of breath, I rested my head on his chest and hummed my satisfaction.

He kissed me and brought me fully beneath the water, cleaning between my legs until his fingers played with my clit and made me come again.

Drying me off after cleaning me up, he chuckled when he viewed my dazed, giddy smile. Caressing my cheek with the side of his knuckles, he murmured with fond amusement, "There you are."

"Here I am," I responded in a light tone, mirroring how kindly the morning was treating me.

He kissed me tenderly but kneaded my ass a bit rougher, administering a sharp slap that made me jolt and buck my hips forward into his. He chuckled again, kissing me to soothe the sting that made me feel like going for round three.

He finished brushing his teeth before me, I tended to make more time, and leaning against the wall, his lips tugged up at the corners when I caught his eye through the mirror.

I grinned, my mouth full of toothpaste. "Good morning."

His smile came to light, and pushing himself off the wall, he pressed his chest into my back, angling his face to kiss my cheek. "Good morning."

Entering the kitchen area with my hand in his once we were dressed, I quickly scanned our surroundings to locate everyone. They were all present in different areas, but my eyes latched onto Jungkook's particularly. He looked right back at me hopefully, and with a squeeze to Jin's hand, I released him.

Walking to Jungkook, my step quickened until I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around him. Kissing his forehead, I gave him my best smile. "Fresh air helped last night. Did you sleep okay?"

He beamed, nudging our foreheads together. "Yeah, the bed here is really soft."

"Good!" I kissed his cheek. "Good sleep."

"Yeah," he repeated, his features shining. "It's really good that you feel better.

I cupped his face. "I couldn't have asked for a better Jungkook." I gave him a quick peck, melting at the adoration seeping from his eyes as he looked at me. "I'm okay, I promise. I can tell you what's going on soon, but when I do, you'll see that there's no need to worry, okay? Really! I have my friends, and even though I can't tell all of you what's going on yet, I still have you, and that's more than enough to make me feel less alone."

I pressed our foreheads to meet, murmuring, "I have the best boyfriends in the whole entire world."

Namjoon sighed softly, and the fondness entangled within it made my heart warm.

"Okay," Jungkook responded with quiet sincerity. "I'll be ready to listen when you're ready to tell me and hyungs."

"Thank you," I breathed out, kissing him repeatedly. Standing, I grabbed his hand and tugged, and he stood with me. "Let's have breakfast!"

Hoseok chuckled fondly. "We have a few choices."

I turned around to look at him, smiling widely. "Good morning!"

He returned my smile. "Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?"

"Good," I chirped. "Jin's very warm."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed. "His bed at home smells nice."

I looked at him, surprised. "You've slept in his bed before?"

"Oh, well, yeah. I fell asleep there once when I was waiting for him to get home." He shrugged sheepishly. "I had a question to ask, but I was tired, and his bed is comfy."

I giggled and kissed his cheek. "You're so cute."

He beamed and blushed. "Thanks, Faeryn. You're so cute, too." He hugged me. "I love you."

Hugging him back, I kissed his chest. "I love you." Pivoting to side hug him, I turned back to Hoseok and asked brightly, "What choices do we have?"

"For breakfast," he told me, his fond smile still on display. "We have a hotel breakfast, places we can order from, or we can go out to eat. What do you think?"

"Just me?" I wondered. "What does everyone else think?"

"We decided that you should choose," Yoongi spoke up, smiling shyly when I caught his eye. "Good morning."

I waved. "Good morning!" Mulling over the choices, I concluded, "We should get a hotel breakfast and eat it up here all together. Is that a good idea?"

"Great idea!" Taehyung agreed wholeheartedly. "It gives us the most time with you."

I smiled, pleased. "Okay!"

After a hotel breakfast and easy conversation with my men, their staff and stylists came to prepare them for an interview. While they were busy, Jaehyun pulled me to the side.

I looked at him questioningly.

He half-smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh. Fine." I stood up straighter. "Why? Do I...look not fine?" Worried that my men could tell if that was the case, I anxiously awaited Jaehyun's response.

"Nah." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, tossing a glance at my men before looking back at me. "Lyric texted me last night and said to check in on you today."

My cheeks turned red with embarrassment. "I'm fine. I was just..." I sighed. "Jungkook was upset and worried yesterday because I won't tell him what's going on, so we had a disagreement, and it all just felt so...I don't know. Scary and upsetting. So I cried a little on the balcony." I squirmed in place, uncomfortable. "I'm fine now. We talked about it, and we're okay."

He pursed his lips. "They all know something is up."

"I told them I had something to communicate with them, but I can't tell them just yet."

"Well," he said after a moment. "At least you and Jungkook talked things through. Your eyes okay? I'm sure the guys would've gotten you a cold compress if you needed it."

I wiped beneath my eyes absently. "They're okay. I didn't cry too much last night. Just...a little bit."

He nodded, and his lips spread into a slow smile. "You gave Lyric a heart attack when you fell asleep on the balcony last night."

I gaped at him. "Is she okay?"

He laughed lightly. "She's fine. She's just as dramatic as always. Cheverie had Jin's number, so she texted him to check on you."

"Oh," I said slowly. "I think I remember that. I was half-asleep."

He chuckled. "You ready for today? You get to sit in during the first interview. After that, you're free to go."

"To go where?" I asked, confused.

"Anywhere you want. I mean, it's LA. Find a place you like. Just be back here in the afternoon; we're heading to pre-record a late-night show's interview and performance."

"What time in the afternoon?"

"2 PM or so. No later than that."

"Okay," I agreed. "Uh...Jaehyun?"

"What?"

"Are you friends with Lyric now?"

He laughed a bit. "Why do you ask, Petal?"

"Well, I...I just wanted to know what you consider a friend," I responded, embarrassed. "You said friendship is fickle when I asked you at your party that time."

"Did I? Hm. I talk to a lot of people at my parties. Barely remember any of it."

"Oh." I nodded. "Okay."

"Friends can be fickle," he decided. "Depends on the friend."

"Lyric isn't fickle," I said indignantly.

"I've known her longer than you have," he said laughingly. "She's changed a bit in the last few months, but she's always been a pain in my ass. Always a good time at parties, though."

"And now?" I wondered.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I want to know what you consider a friend."

He cocked his head. "What are you asking me?"

I shuffled in place awkwardly and blurted, "Are we friends?"

He snorted. "Petal."

"What?" I insisted as my embarrassment grew. "It's just a question."

"If you come to another one of my parties, then we'll be friends."

My nose scrunched. "I have to?"

He laughed. "Was my last party really that bad?"

"Oh! No, no," I backtracked quickly, waving my hands in denial. "I meant that...well, I meant that it was nice, but I don't like parties. They're too overstimulating."

He laughed again. "We're friends."

"Oh." I blinked rapidly as I assessed. "Okay. I just wanted to know. Making friends is...it's confusing for me, and I—I mean, I want to make friends, but I want to make sure that I'm doing it right."

"Hey, it's my bad, yeah? I tease a lot. You're doing fine." He chuckled and gestured to my men. "Let's go see what they're up to."

I huffed and mumbled all the way to my men, ignoring Jaehyun's quiet laughter as he followed behind me.

Chapter 68: Sexually Appealing

Summary:

The familiar smell of Faeryn drives Yoongi wild. Later, when Faeryn keeps interrupting Namjoon while he works on his laptop, he finds a nice way to keep her and her mouth occupied.

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After a long day of interviews and performances, my men were exhausted.

As much as they wanted to spend time with me once we returned to the hotel, they fell asleep immediately. While they were spread out on the couches or in their rooms as they slept, I tiptoed into Yoongi’s room to retrieve the hair tie I’d left in there earlier when we talked, but I was surprised to see he was still awake.

“Yoongi,” I exclaimed quietly, wide-eyed and elated. “You’re awake.”

He turned from where he sat on the bed, lowering his headphones around his neck as he smiled. “I am.”

“Are you tired?” I wondered as I hurried to him.

“Yes,” he confirmed, agreeing when I asked to sit on his bed. “I am, but I had a song idea and wanted to write it down before I slept.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Truthfully, I would much rather talk about you.”

“Me?” I blinked. “What about me?”

“Anything.” He exhaled softly. “I have missed our late-night talks in my room and on the swing set.”

Content, I pushed closer to him and hugged him. “Me too, and once we get home, we’ll have so many late-night talks, won’t we?”

“We will,” he agreed, sounding as content as I felt. “I cannot wait.”

“Do you want to go to bed now?” I caressed his arm lovingly. “You’re waking up early tomorrow.”

“Yes, I should go to bed.” He leaned into my touch, showing me a small smile. “Would you like to stay with me?”

“I’m not tired yet,” I admitted sheepishly. “When I am, can I come in and sleep with you? Is that okay?”

“Of course, yes, that is okay,” he said earnestly.

I beamed. “Okay, then I will.”

“Yes,” he murmured, releasing a contented sigh. Shifting slightly, he asked, “What will you do now?”

“Mm…crochet? I can read a book, too. Maybe take a shower.”

He moved closer to me. “You smell lovely.”

“I smell lovely?” I repeated with a little giggle. “Thank you.”

He dipped his chin, and after a moment, he wondered, “What do I smell like?”

“Hm…”

“I know that Hoseok smells like vanilla; you pointed it out recently. I think I have a hard time differentiating smells.”

“Really?” I asked thoughtfully. “Well, I can help!” I sat up taller. “Right now, you smell like cinnamon, but you usually smell like coffee.” I grinned. “Because you always have an iced coffee with you.”

He seemed excited. “I smell like cinnamon?”

“Yes! It’s a really nice smile. Lovely,” I teased fondly.

He smiled widely. “Thank you. You smell like vanilla, but that is because you’re wearing Hoseok’s cardigan. You usually smell like…a peach.”

“A peach?”

“Yes,” he said uncertainly. “At least, I believe so. I have trouble with being able to tell, but it is almost like…a muted peach smell. Perhaps even…a toasted chocolate. But lightly toasted.”

“I smell like fruit and chocolate?”

He nodded quickly. “Yes, you smell like fruit and chocolate, but it is muted.”

“It’s my lotion,” I said with a silvery laugh, pleased with his description. “And perfume.”

“I enjoy your lotion and perfume, then.” He moved closer, causing the sides of our thighs to be flush. “I do not use perfume, but I use lotion sometimes. Not often. It is usually for my hands.”

“After you play guitar?” I took his hand and ran my fingers over his calluses. “Does it help?”

“Ah, yes, it does help with the calluses. I forget to use lotion afterward most of the time.”

I giggled and kissed his fingertips. “You’re so sweet.”

“You are so sweet, too,” he returned. “I want to smell like you.”

“You do?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, so I can feel like you are with me, even when you are not.”

“Yoongi.” I squeezed his hand and kissed the top of it multiple times. “So, so sweet.”

“Thank you,” he said, slightly out of breath.

Concerned by the sudden change, I peered into his face. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, displaying a deep, dark red on his cheeks.

“Okay,” I replied, unsure. “You seemed a little out of breath.”

He didn’t respond.

“Yoongi,” I coaxed. “You can tell me if something’s wrong.”

He looked eager and yet somehow scared.

My brows knitted together. “Yoongi, what’s wrong?”

“I am…I…”

“You’re what?” I encouraged.

“I do not know,” he said, hushed and rosy-cheeked.

Concerned, I cupped his cheek and felt the heat radiating from it. “Do you feel sick?”

“I think so,” he contemplated, jolting when my other hand caressed his thigh for comfort.

I immediately snatched my hand away. “Did that hurt you? I’m so sorry,” I lamented.

“No, it—” He swallowed thickly. “It does not hurt.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “What can I do? How can I help?”

“Faeryn, I…” He sucked in a sharp breath. “I am not certain, but I…I feel…” His eyes skimmed mine, but he couldn’t hold eye contact. “I do not know what I feel, but it feels different.”

“Okay.” I nodded quickly. “That’s okay. Is it a bad or a good difference? Mental or physical?”

His breath hitched. “Both.”

“Both?” My brows wavered. “How long have you been in pain?”

He gripped the top of his pants, making his knuckles turn white. “Faeryn.”

“Yes?” I breathed out, desperate to make him feel better. “I’m right here, Yoongi, right here.”

He made a little gasped, choking sound, and hung his head as an embarrassed sense of realization took over him; I saw the flicker of it in his eyes.

I shifted back, not wanting to upset him with physical contact. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You can take a deep breath.”

“Don’t go,” he rasped, turning with a pained expression when he noted the new distance between us.

“I’m not,” I promised, moving closer again. “I didn’t want to accidentally make you be in pain again.”

“No, that was not your fault,” he croaked, training his eyes on my chin. “I…am realizing what is going on now. I was confused at first, but I understand now.”

I carefully untangled his fingers from where they bunched near his pants and pulled them into mine. “Do you want to tell me about it? You don’t have to.”

“I know,” he breathed out, sounding a mixture of things, but mostly relief. “That is why I want to. You make me feel, Faeryn; you make me feel so many things I have never felt before, and I…I want to feel more. With you.” Tentative hope filled his face. “I hope that is okay.”

“Of course it’s okay.” I squeezed his hand, patting it reassuringly. “I want to feel more with you, too.”

His free hand shifted as if on its own accord, drifting upward until it pressed against—

I glanced at him, trying to hide my surprise.

He was so red, a dark crimson that spread from his neck to his cheeks until it tickled his forehead.

I wasn’t sure what to say, but he spoke before I could.

“I’m sorry,” he stammered, applying more pressure to the front of his pants, right where his cock was restrained by his pants. “I am so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I…I haven’t felt it in so long that I was not sure what it was.” His chest heaved. “If I had known, I would have done something to stop it.”

“Stop it?” I stressed my hold on his hand. “Are you uncomfortable? Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, strained. “It…it hurts.”

I tried to catch my bearings, wanting to ease whatever blame and past instances were running through his head. “Does the pressure help?”

He dipped his chin, ashamed. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Okay, hey, that’s good,” I encouraged. “Just keep pressure on it.”

“But…but you are here,” he said shakily. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yoongi.” I shook my head quickly. “Don’t be sorry. Why are you sorry?”

“I…I feel dirty,” he revealed almost inaudibly.

My heart hurt. “Why do you feel dirty?”

“Because of…” He wouldn’t look at me. “Because of what people did to me—when they said they would wait until I was ready, but either left or pressured me into saying yes.”

“That doesn’t make you dirty,” I said firmly. “It makes them bad people, not you. Okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You…you do not think I’m dirty?”

“Of course not.” I rubbed the top of his hand. “You’re not dirty. You’re my sweet Yoongi.”

His voice dropped in volume. “Sweet?”

“You are so sweet,” I confirmed assiduously. “My pretty, sweet Yoongi. You don’t deserve what people put you through, even if you feel like you do. I promise that you don’t.”

His brows shifted, tugging together. “I…I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not,” I reassured him. “I’m not uncomfortable. Not at all, okay? So don’t worry about that. All you have to focus on is feeling better and not blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault. You’re not dirty,” I reinstated. “And I’m not uncomfortable. We’re okay, just like we were before. Okay?”

He managed a nod, saying hoarsely, “Okay.”

“Good,” I praised softly, lacing my fingers with his. “We’ll do whatever you want to do. If you want me to leave, I can, or if you want to lie down and try to sleep, I can stay until you fall asleep. Anything you want, we’ll do, okay? So don’t be nervous. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

His hand applied more pressure to the area causing him pain, and a pained sound left him. “Faeryn.”

“What’s wrong?”

“When you say things like that, it…it makes it worse,” he rasped. “And you smell so nice like you always do; it is so comforting, and it makes me”—he groaned quietly—“feel.”

My pulse quickened. “Do you want to press down a little more?” I asked carefully, not wanting to scare him. “Rub a little?”

A quiet gasp left him. “With…with you here?”

“You don’t have to,” I made sure he knew as quickly as I could. “I just—I thought it could help.”

He tentatively brought his hand down further, pushed his palm against it, starting from near his waist and slightly down. A few quick rubs, and he was done, unsure and timid.

“Did that feel okay?” I wondered, holding his hand as tightly as I could to let him know I was here for him.

“Yes,” he decided momentarily.

“Okay.” I nodded, and he began to do the same. “Do you want to go to sleep now?”

“I…” He gripped himself so tightly that I was afraid it hurt.

“Hey,” I said lightly. “Be gentle.”

He immediately loosened his hold and breathed out, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” I told him with a small frown. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” When he didn’t respond, I prompted, “Can you look at me? It’s okay if you can’t.”

With great difficulty, he looked at my chin.

“Okay,” I praised. “Good. Thank you.”

He nodded a bit.

“I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong,” I continued. “You’re feeling something completely normal, and I know it must feel weird and even a little scary after so long of not feeling it, but it’s not going to hurt you, and neither will I. You’re in control of this, okay? You can take care of yourself, or you can try to go to sleep, but everything will be okay either way. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

He nodded again, slightly quicker than before.

“What do you want to do?” I murmured. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

“I…I do not want to be alone.”

“Okay, that’s okay.” I kissed his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He took a moment to think, and coming to a conclusion, he decided, “I will lie down.”

“Okay, good idea,” I praised, releasing his hand so he could lie down.

He reached for my hand immediately, and I accepted it back, making him exhale with relief.

“Can you lie with me?” he asked cautiously, looking at the blankets. “Until I fall asleep? I…I do not want to do anything sexual; I just want to be with you.”

“We won’t do anything sexual,” I agreed immediately, shifting closer to the pillows and taking him with me. “We’ll try to get you to sleep, okay? That’s all.”

“Is it all right if you could kiss me?”

His words tugged me forward, and I gently asked, “Where do you want me to kiss?”

His throat bobbed. “My face. You…you once kissed the entirety of it when we first confessed our love for each other.”

“Did you like that?” I asked, touched, and when he confirmed, I leaned in closer. “Can I hold your face? Is that okay?”

“Yes,” he said breathily. “It’s okay. I am okay with that. Thank you, Faeryn.”

Melting, I kissed his nose in response, cupping his face and angling it where I needed it to let my lips touch everywhere. I could feel the tension slowly leave, and I carefully eased him into the pillows, alternating between kisses and tucking the blankets around him.

Once he was secured, I sat above the blankets and kept kissing his face, murmuring comfort near his ear every now and again.

“Stay with me,” he whispered.

“Forever,” I whispered right back.

I ended up staying with him long after he fell asleep, his features screwed up in slight pain from the mental aspect of it all, but after a while, my caresses near his temples eased his tension.

Content sounds left him, followed by soft sighs as he subconsciously pushed into my hand. Endeared, I kissed his forehead and whispered about how much I loved him, hoping his subconscious would pick up on it and offer sweet dreams.

꧁꧂

I woke up cradled in Yoongi’s arms, secured firmly against his chest.

Awake and looking down at me, his hold tightened when I opened my eyes.

“Good morning,” he murmured, kissing my forehead. “I love you.”

My sleepy features beamed at him. “Good morning.” Nuzzling up against him, I sighed happily, “I love you.”

His chest rumbled with a low hum, and he kissed the top of my head a few times as our bodies settled into each other.

“Yoongi,” I whispered into the warm morning, safe in the blankets with him. “How do you feel?”

He noticeably tensed, and I kissed his neck apologetically.

“I’m sorry.” I held him closer. “I just wanted to check on you, but we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, please do not apologize.” He exhaled shortly, resting his forehead on my shoulder. “I am embarrassed.”

“You don’t have to be, but I know how you feel. I get embarrassed a lot, too.”

“And I felt so ashamed during it, but…Faeryn, you were so kind to me. You always are. It…it really meant a lot to me. It was scary to feel that way after so long.”

“I thought it must be,” I considered quietly. “You went through a lot just for your sexuality, and that’s awful. Really awful. You deserve so much better.”

“Thank you, Faeryn,” he murmured. “But there is no need to worry.” His arms encircled me. “I already have so much better.”

I sank into him, humming contentedly as warmth filled me. “You’re so special to me.”

“And you are so special to me.” He leaned back just enough to kiss my cheek. “Thank you for staying with me last night, and how gentle and careful you were with me. I wasn’t aware how much I needed it until I needed it.”

“I know how that feels,” I admitted, adding earnestly, “And I’ll always be there for you, okay? Always.” I rubbed his back soothingly. “Does that mean you feel better and know it wasn’t your fault? That you didn’t do anything wrong?”

He nodded tentatively. “Yes, I think so. It will take time to unlearn that. Actually, my therapist and I have treaded the topic once or twice. It’s not pleasant to talk about, but…I think it’s time to talk about it now.”

“It’s really brave to talk about things that scare you.”

“It is,” he confirmed. “Just as it’s brave for you to talk about things that scare you with us and in therapy. I’ve learned so much from you, Faeryn, including being brave enough to speak about scary things and label them as scary. Before, my thought process was that I’m a man and feelings shouldn’t be scary, but you told me that feelings don’t suddenly stop being scary as we get older. And I have learned with you, the others, and therapy, how to cope and tend to my feelings instead of fearing them.”

He brushed our noses together affectionately. “You are so unequivocally you, and you make others feel safe enough to try and be the same.”

My heart burst, and I clung to him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much,” he breathed against my cheeks, kissing them a few times until our lips caught for a deep, passionate kiss.

When it ended, we wordlessly communicated with our eyes and finger taps, smiling every so often and curling closer to each other.

“Faeryn,” he spoke quietly into our shared space. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Last night, when I…well, I don’t wish to repeat it, but I think you understand?”

“I do,” I encouraged.

“Ah, okay. Well, I was thinking about it this morning while I held you, and I…I know it is different because you and I have never done anything…sexual or really talked about it.”

“Which is completely okay,” I reassured him. “We don’t have to.”

“Yes, but I…think I want to.” He cleared his throat with slightly wide eyes. “Talk about it, I meant.”

“Okay,” I agreed easily. “We can talk about it; I’m listening.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Yes,” I breathed out. “Of course.”

With my hand in his, he took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“I am grateful for this,” he amended with a small smile.

I started to smile with him. “That’s what I like to hear.” I kissed his forehead. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“Ah. Okay. So, Faeryn, I…would like to talk to you about sexual things.” He held my hand tightly for support. “Last night, you were so kind and comforting like you always are, and you smelled so much like you, and I believe that, combined with how much I have missed our late-night talks, I became…” He blushed. “Excited.”

“And that’s okay,” I made sure he knew. “And normal.”

“It didn’t make you…uncomfortable? Now that you’ve slept on it.”

“It really didn’t, I promise. It…” It was my turn to blush. “It actually made me feel really happy that I could make you feel safe enough to feel that way.”

“Happy?” he asked, surprised. “Really, Faeryn? Not uncomfortable?”

“No way,” I said genuinely. “Not uncomfortable. I was happy that I got to sleep with you after to make sure you were okay, and I just love being with you.” I kissed his cheek. “You’re a great sleeping buddy.”

His smile grew with giddiness. “Ah, I am? I think you are, too. You are the best I have and will ever know.”

“Oh, Yoongi,” I murmured, touched. “My sweet boy.”

He exhaled. “Faeryn, I love when you…call me that. When you call me sweet and…pretty.”

“You are so sweet and pretty,” I gushed, caressing his hair away from his face. “My sweet, pretty boy.”

A light shiver ran through him. “You only call me that. It is special. Only…for me?”

My smile pulled through, and I gently traced his cheeks. “Only for you.”

He pressed into my touch, and his eyes fluttered. “Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” I asked quietly, enamored by him.

“I like being special.” His throat bobbed. “You make me feel important.”

“You are important,” I said in a hushed tone, kissing the tip of his nose. “You should always feel that way.”

“I like being important to you,” he rasped, covering my hand with his from where it rested on his cheek. “It makes me feel.”

“What does it make you feel?” I whispered, unable to look away from him.

His eyes were full of so much love and adoration that I felt mine burn with emotion. “Everything good.”

I couldn’t fathom an appropriate response—I wasn’t sure how to—but I caressed and kissed his cheek softly in response.

“Faeryn,” he said quietly, carefully treading what had become a tumultuous topic for him. “Since I know you were not uncomfortable with it, would you like to maybe…explore it? Not right now,” he added, flustered. “But maybe when we return home and settle back into our routine.”

I cupped his face. “I would love to do that with you at whatever pace feels safe and good to you. Okay? You’re in charge of where this goes if it does, and remember that you can change your mind at any time, okay? I won’t be mad or frustrated, I promise.”

“Oh, Faeryn,” he breathed out, looking at me with all the sincerity in the world. “You are incredible.”

I hugged him tightly, pulling away to look at him once more. “So are you.” I displayed a big smile just for him. “Best.”

He lit up. “Best what?”

I grinned. “You’re the best.”

꧁꧂

We entered the third week in America, and it had been the busiest yet. After that, it would be more relaxed as we entered the end of promotions, but the busy uptick had my men exhausted.

By the fourth week, everyone had more downtime, and on the second night into it, I woke up from an afternoon nap from a dream that didn’t contain my men, and it made me miss them. Getting up fussily, I walked around the hotel but came up empty, making me slightly nervous.

“Is anyone here?” I called, wondering if my strange dream I’d just awoken from was becoming reality. “Hello?”

“In here, baby.”

At the sound of Namjoon’s voice, I scurried across the living area into his room, exhaling with relief. He sat on the lounge chair in the corner, dressed in sweatpants, a tight form-fitting shirt, reading glasses, and his laptop open as he focused intently on it.

“Joon,” I said in one breath, more than happy to see him.

He looked over the top of his laptop at me, smiling softly when he saw me. “Someone had a good nap, hm? You were tired.”

I nodded bashfully. “Yeah.” Looking around, I wondered, “Where is everyone?”

“They went to pick up takeout. They thought the fresh air and a walk would be nice.”

“You didn’t go?” I wondered, pointing to his bed questioningly.

“Yeah, go ahead, baby. Sit.”

I jumped at the opportunity and climbed onto his bed, curling into a comfortable ball with a small squirm of contentment.

“I didn’t go,” he answered my question. “We didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

“What about fresh air for you?”

He chuckled, returning to typing. “The window’s open. That’s enough fresh air for me after last week’s hectic schedule.”

I giggled a bit. “Yeah, it was really busy.” I sighed, nosing into his pillow. “I missed you. I thought when I woke up that my dream was happening.”

“Your dream?”

“Yeah, I had a dream just now that none of you were here, and then I woke up and couldn’t find anyone.”

He chuckled deeply. “Which is why I stayed. Our silly Faeryn gets homesick.”

“I’m not silly,” I defended myself, blushing. “I was still tired.”

“Mhm. Our silly, tired Faeryn.”

I pushed my face into his pillow, sighing when he chuckled.

“Hoseok should have stayed, hm?” he teased lightly. “You need someone to coddle you after a nice, long nap.”

“It wasn’t too long,” I protested, then paused. “What time is it?”

“A quarter past six.”

My lips parted. “It is late.”

“Mm, it is.”

I peeked over at him. “What’s for dinner?”

“In ‘n out.”

My nose scrunched.

He didn’t need to see my face to elaborate, “They’re picking up Chinese takeout for you, so stop pouting.”

I sputtered indignantly and shot up, furiously pushing my hair away from my face. “I’m not!”

He looked at me and started to smile. “Is someone feeling grumpy?”

I gasped. “Stop being mean to me.”

“Asking if you’re grumpy is mean?” He hummed thoughtfully, returning his attention to his laptop. “I’ll leave you alone.”

I pretended not to care and reburied my face in his pillow.

Two minutes later, I got bored and slipped off the bed onto the floor, watching him type away.

“Joon,” I whispered.

“Mm?” He didn’t look up from his laptop, typing as a concentrated line creased his forehead.

I positioned myself at his feet. “Joon.”

“Yes, baby, I’m listening.”

“You’re not,” I pointed out. “You’re typing.”

“Mm, good looking, baby. It’s called multitasking.”

Scowling, I pushed his calf in retribution. “Stop.”

“Someone needs her Hobi, huh? Poor thing.”

“Leave me alone.”

“You can go back on my bed,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not forcing you to sit here.”

“Leave me alone.” I shuffled closer and wrapped my arms around his leg.

He hummed in response, still not paying adequate attention to me.

“Namjoon,” I whispered.

“Why are you whispering, my love? No one but you and I is here.”

The pet name made me sink closer to him. “You can’t be mean and nice. Pick one.”

“Hm. However will I choose?” His fingers hovered over his keyboard before resuming. “I choose mean.”

I gasped and hit his leg, earning low laughter from him. “Wrong choice!”

“When you give me two choices, tell me one is wrong after I choose it, and then punish me, it makes me believe I didn’t actually have a choice.”

I only hugged his leg tighter. “Just stop talking.”

His low string of laughter continued. “Do you need something, or will I have to see you pout and sulk until your dinner gets here and cures your mood?”

“Just you wait,” I warned. “I’ll tell Jin on you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” he teased, chuckling a moment later as he recalled, “You used to be too shy to do that, and now look at you.” He shook his leg lightly, only making me hold on even more. “A koala.”

“You talk too much.”

“Maybe I should tell Jin on you.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’ll side with me.”

“What makes you so sure? I’m positive he’d like a reason to see you squirm, including a scolding from him that’ll end up with a kiss to soothe you. Hm? You always react so nicely to that little recipe he cooked up especially for you.”

I burned brightly. “Stop talking!”

“If you keep talking to me, should I just ignore you?”

I repeatedly hit his arm. “I should’ve stayed asleep.”

“That’s not very nice.”

I peeked up at him. “Sorry.”

His smile pulled through. “I was teasing you.”

“I take back my sorry,” I snapped.

“Oh, but I already have it.” He patted his pocket. “It will stay right here with me.”

I shot my hand out and shoved my hand into his pocket, surprising laughter out of him. Before he could react, I took my hand out and tossed my head back as if swallowing the “promise” stored in his pocket.

“It’s mine again,” I declared. “It’s like I never said it to you at all.”

“That would be true,” he countered, still laughing, “if I hadn’t lied about where I stored it.”

I ran out of his room back into the living area, but he was quick, making it to me and swooping me into his arms, laughing into each kiss he gave me.

“Come back to me,” he said against my lips, squeezing me to him. “I work better when a koala is hugging my leg like it’s a tree.”

I swatted his chest and shoulders, but I was no match for his lips and succumbed to them, unfortunately. It seemed like he had won this round.

Back in his room, I returned to my spot on the floor, looking up at him as he worked.

“What are you doing?” I demanded to know.

“Is that how you ask?”

“It is now.”

Still typing on his laptop, he mused, “Do you remember what Jimin gave you when you were mouthy?”

“What? When?”

“When Jimin and I played with you and Jungkook.”

I blushed. “A…gag?”

“Mm, that’s right. Something to put in your mouth.”

“That’s mean,” I scolded him even as I clenched my thighs together to stop the sudden ache between them.

“It’s a suggestion; something to make you feel better. I know how much you like having something in your mouth. It calms you down, doesn’t it?”

“Namjoon, you’re being mean,” I decided, my chest heaving as I suddenly couldn’t make eye contact.

“Am I? You don’t like this idea anymore?”

“No, I…you just…you’re going from nice to mean, and that’s mean.”

“You can’t handle that? You always handle it so well for me. Is it because you’re grumpy? Didn’t have a long enough nap? Oh, poor thing. It always comes back to you needing your precious Hobi for coddling.”

“I don’t always need coddling,” I reminded him. “You’re rough with me.”

“I know I am, and like I just said, you always handle it so well, but you’re not handling it well because you’re too grumpy.”

“I am not grumpy.”

“Says the yelling woman hitting my leg.”

“I’m not!”

“All right, I believe you.”

“You’re lying!” I kept swatting his leg. “Evil, evil, evil!”

He laughed, leaning down to tickle me enough to get me to squeal and shake him off. “Come on, baby. C’mere.” He spread his thighs and shifted his laptop to the side. “Sit.”

Although side-eyeing him, I claimed the spot.

“There,” he murmured, caressing my hair. “Isn’t that better?”

I huffed.

“No?” He scratched the back of my neck, and I bit back my satisfied sigh. “This doesn’t feel nice?”

I shrugged, but I had significantly relaxed. Chuckling, he gently brought my cheek to rest against his thigh. The immediate warmth, comfort, and familiarity made all my faux annoyance slip away, and I rubbed my face around to commemorate the good feelings.

“Is this what you needed? Hm?” He kept a firm hand on the back of my neck, offering a light massage. “Is this all you need to feel much, much better?”

I didn’t give him the victory of a nod, but I slumped against him, pleased with his familiar smell and firm hands.

“There she is,” he murmured, curling my hair in his hands and gently bringing me forward. I all but face-planted closer to his stomach, right where his cock was. I instinctively opened my mouth, earning a deep chuckle from him and a whine from me. “Shh, baby. Open your mouth for me.”

I gave another whine, and he responded by easing his fingers through my hair. “Open,” he instructed.

It felt good to listen to him, felt good to press my face against the bulge in his pants and mouth against it, hoping for a taste. When he unzipped his pants and gave me his cock, I took it greedily, feeling it grow to its full length in my mouth.

Sucking and panting, I licked and sucked, hollowing my cheeks as I took him as deep as I could. It was like being stuck in my own bubble, floating happily as he occupied my mouth with that delicious pressure on my tongue.

“Relax,” I heard him say, making me hum inquisitively. “Slow it down. Let yourself feel good.”

I followed his voice, listening as I decreased my speed. Sucking languidly, my eyes fluttered to a close, my knees folded, and my cheek resting on his inner thigh as my hand stroked what I couldn’t take in my mouth, sometimes just gripping it for stability and comfort.

“Maybe you don’t need your Hobi. You just needed something in your mouth.”

I couldn’t agree more, humming contentedly as my jaw worked, my throat bobbing as I swallowed excess spit and precum.

He returned to his work on his laptop, occasionally passing his hand through my hair and pushing me further down onto his cock, his chest rumbling when I gurgled, worshiping it.

I ground against his shin a few times, dizzy when his condescending, amused chuckle filled my ears, but it only furthered my pleasure, only made everything feel even better.

“Needy girl, humping my leg,” he taunted in that deep, raspy voice of his.

A little gasp left my lips, and I whimpered, opening my eyes to blink up at him. He grasped my jaw and tapped my cheek. “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

Invigorated, I returned to pleasuring him, closing my eyes as I lost myself to him once more. When he came, I swallowed every last bit of his cum, mewling with satisfaction when he readjusted his laptop and scooped me up onto his thighs.

Bouncing his thigh while I gripped his shirt and buried my face in his neck, moaning fitfully, he typed away on his laptop. He was focused on his work, but his features held the telltale signs of his afterglow, and I smiled, pleased with myself, before he tensed his thigh and stole my attention back to my pleasure.

I came like that, bouncing on his thigh as he worked on his laptop. While I gasped and panted into his neck, he hummed near my ear, clearly pleased with the outcome of our time together.

“Perfect,” he told me, his words vibrating against my skin. He kissed my earlobe. “Don’t you feel much, much better, my poor thing? You were so wound up.”

“Better,” I mewled, kissing him. “Thank you.”

He chuckled and returned my kiss. “Thank you. Your mouth, as always, was perfect.” He kissed my cheek, then my forehead, then my lips, saying in a softer tone, “You’re perfect.”

I beamed. “I know.”

He squeezed my waist, pleased with my response. “You are.”

The front door opened, and my men’s voices filled the hotel, laughing about a joke Jungkook had told. He was giggling the hardest, which always made his jokes funnier.

Namjoon squeezed my ass, offering it a light slap. “Let’s get you cleaned up for dinner.”

I kissed him as he stood and carried me to the bathroom, giggling in fucked-out bliss when he slapped my ass with every step he took.

Notes:

Namjoon is so HOT WTF 😩

Also! Faeryn tells her men about court in the next chapter! 🫢 Any predictions for how that will go? EEEEKKKKKK

I also posted a new OT7 story that has five chapters ready to read! It's called The Witch and Her Seven Housemates. I hope you'll like it! If you decide to give it a try, let me know what you think! Comments motivate me to keep writing 😻

Chapter 69: Anxious Truth-Teller

Summary:

Faeryn sits her men down to talk about the court situation.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ──── ««»» ────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

We were home.

Home.

And it was time to tell my men what was going on.

The court date was set for a week after we returned home, so on the fifth day after I ensured they were more rested than when we first arrived, I texted Jaehyun, Lyric, Cheverie, and Kenley in our group chat.

Jungkook lifted his face from the couch cushion with surprise, wondering, “Someone’s at the door?” The knock sounded again, and he exclaimed, “Someone’s at the door.” Turning to Yoongi, who sat beside him, he wondered, “Who’s coming over?”

Yoongi’s eyes left his notebook of lyrics. “I am not sure.” Pivoting to Jin, he inquired, “Is anyone coming over today?”

Jin had already stood. Grabbing the remote, he lowered the TV’s volume. “Not to my knowledge.” He looked at the rest of us. “Did anyone make plans?”

Everyone shook their head. I didn’t.

Jin’s attention fell on me. “Faeryn?”

Wiping my hands on my pants, I stood and said in a higher tone than normal, “I’ll get it.”

“It’s for you?” Taehyung wondered. “Is it Lyric and Cheverie?”

“Yes,” I said, swinging my hands awkwardly as I walked to the door. “Kind of.”

“Kind of?” was echoed back at me.

I gripped the doorknob. “Please don’t freak out.”

“What?” Taehyung pressed. “Faeryn, why would we freak out? Is something wrong?”

Jungkook asked in a loud whisper, “Is this what you wanted to talk to us about?”

I slowly unlocked the door. “Yes, so don’t freak out. I’m fine, and I just…I wanted them here to talk about it, so you can see that I wasn’t alone during the process.”

“The process?” Jimin sounded concerned. “Honey, what process?”

“Just…don’t be mad at anyone here.” I unlocked the door. “Everyone helped, and they’ve been kind, so please keep an open mind.” Turning, I faced them. “Please?”

Although hesitant, they agreed.

I took a deep breath and spoke just beneath it, “Here we go.”

Opening the door revealed Jaehyun, Cheverie, Lyric, and Kenley. Ushering them in, I closed the door as Lyric and Jaehyun greeted everyone with their usual, boisterous behavior. It was slightly toned down, however, and it completely dimmed when my men’s attention signaled in on Kenley, shifting right back to me. Although they were quiet, their expressions were loud with confusion. Everyone but Jin looked surprised, making me realize he most likely knew who I was speaking of during our hypothetical person talk.

I slowly locked the door. “I just wanted everyone here who’s helping.”

Kenley took a step back, settling right beside me. I glanced at her, and she was looking right back at me. Her eyes were on mine, but instead of how daunting her eye contact usually felt, her pupils were quivering.

“I’ll explain everything,” I told my men while looking at Kenley, hoping to offer the reassurance she sought with eye contact. “I just wanted them here for it. I thought it would make you less worried.”

“Faeryn,” Jimin said shortly. “Honey, please look at us and explain. Our worry is growing without an explanation.”

“I—I know, I’m sorry.” I breathed shakily and turned back to them. “I will.” To my friends, I wondered, “Does everyone want to sit down?”

Once everyone was seated, with Kenley choosing a seat at the far edge of the couch away from everyone, I stood in the middle of the room.

Jin had shut the TV off, and I was now the main attraction.

I swallowed with difficulty. “Hi, everyone.” I gestured to my friends. “Thanks for coming. Thank you.” I rubbed my arm. “Thanks.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Fae,” Lyric reassured, jumping up. “Do you want me to stand with you?”

“No, I’m—no, I’m okay. Thanks,” I said quietly.

She sat back down. “Okay, but if you change your mind, I’m your girl!”

Her usual cheery tone made me smile a little. “Thanks, Lyric.”

“Pish posh! I don’t need to be thanked for that.” She grinned and pushed out a thumbs-up. “It’s what best friends are for.”

This earned a small giggle from me, and my men marginally relaxed.

Continuing to rub my arm, I grounded myself. “Okay, I’ll…okay. I’ll start explaining now.” With one more deep breath, I began. “I changed my phone number.”

My men’s brows shot up.

When I didn’t elaborate, Namjoon asked, “Is there a specific reason as to why?”

“Oh. Well. Yes.” I nodded a few times. “There is.”

“Okay, baby, go ahead and tell me the reason.”

“Oh. Okay. It’s…well.” I winced. “It’s because Ryker texted me.”

Rage and surprise filled my men’s features.

“When was this?” Jin ground out.

“You haven’t let us text you since before our comeback,” Taehyung added, starting to understand. “Is that when he—?” I nodded. “Oh, Faeryn.” His brows tugged together, and his anger was now mixed with concern. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“What did he say to you?” Jimin was struggling to rein in his anger. “Faeryn, I’m going to need you to tell me what he said.”

“I am,” I said quickly. “I am, just…hold on.” I put my hands up. “One question at a time, okay, please? You…you all look really angry, and I don’t know if you’re angry at me or Ryker, so I’m feeling really anxious.”

Namjoon ran a hand over his face. “Okay. One question at a time. And,” he supplemented. “We’re not mad at you. Keep communicating with us; we’re listening.”

Slightly relieved, but unsure if they would be upset later, I kept my hope to a minimum. “Okay. Thank you. I…I blocked him and created a new number. What he texted was just…what he always texted. He was threatening me, specifically toward taking me to court.”

I shuffled anxiously. “So, I texted him back.”

Hoseok inhaled sharply, and the others had similar reactions. “Sweetheart.”

“I’m fine!” I blurted, trying to reassure him. “I really am. I just…I was so sick of feeling like he had so much control over me, and I was tired of being scared of him, so I just—I told him that I would take him to court.”

My socks scuffed the floor. “I know I always say that I don’t want anything legally involved, but I was so tired of being scared of him—plus, I know I have enough evidence to prove him wrong, so even if all he gets is a tap on the wrist, I’ll have a win over him that will hurt his ego. That’ll be enough to let him know that he can’t best me anymore.”

My brows knitted together. “I’m not the same Faeryn he hurt anymore, and I don’t want him to hurt me anymore, even if it’s just texting me.” I recalled, “Oh, he also probably got my number when he had my phone. You know, after seeing me at the shop that time. He remembered my password; he said so in the text.”

“Are you really taking him to court?” Jungkook asked, his legs beneath him, his hands resting above his knees, and his eyes wide with surprise.

I hesitated, gathered my bearings, and nodded.

His lips parted. “Faeryn.”

I braced myself for retribution. “Yes?”

Clutching the top of his pants, he breathed out, “That’s so badass.”

Surprised, I blinked. “It…it is?”

Lyric grinned. “Hey, hey. Someone’s getting the idea of things, huh, Jungkook? Smart dumpling.”

Jungkook nodded, paused at the nickname, and ignored it. “It’s true! She’s taking him to court when he threatened it in the first place. I bet he never thought you would do it, Faeryn—that’s why he threatened you—but then you did!”

My chest tickled with pride, and I stood up a little taller. A little straighter. “Yeah, I did, and I’m going through with it. I really am.”

His anger was traded for pride, and his smile peeked through. “Of course you will.”

Yoongi cut in slowly, “When is the court date set for? If you have been sitting on this for so long, does Ryker not believe that you’ve backed out of your initial decision?”

“Oh. No,” I responded with an awkward smile. “I’ve already been to court.”

“What?” they all raised in question, incredulously.

“Just to get a continuance!” I defended, waving my hands around. “It was just for that.”

“Hey,” Cheverie cut in, turning to my men. “It’s fine. She’s her own person and can do what she wants. Yes, you weren’t there, but you didn’t need to be.” She sat back, crossing her arms and jutting her chin toward me. “She had us, and besides, she can handle it.”

Jimin sent her a sharp look. “We know she can handle herself; we’re extremely aware of what she’s already handled before she knew us, which is why we don’t want her to go through things like this on her own when she doesn’t have to.”

She arched a brow and gestured to me. “She shouldn’t be this nervous to talk to you.”

Jungkook frowned. “It’s a trauma response from Ryker.”

Lyric pointed out, “She wasn’t this nervous to talk to us.”

My men faltered.

“Faeryn?” Taehyung asked, subdued. “Is that true? Did…you not tell us for so long because you were nervous about how we would react?”

Hoseok looked pained. “Sweetheart, we would never do anything to hurt you. Were you afraid of us?”

“Is it something we did?” Jungkook stressed. “The way we’re reacting now? Are we reacting wrong? Are you scared of how we’re reacting or…us?”

“No!” I refuted, blinking rapidly at the sudden turn of events. “No, of course I’m not, I just—I was nervous to talk about it because I didn’t want you to be upset that I kept it from you for so long. I didn’t want you to think that I was hiding anything because I wasn’t fully communicating. I was just waiting for when I could tell you, I promise.”

“When could you tell us?” Yoongi inquired carefully, his features tickled with concern. “Was there a reason you couldn’t tell us? And do not worry. We won’t be mad about things that are out of your control. It is all right.”

“Listen to Grumps,” Lyric encouraged me. “If they’re mad at you, I’ll kick them out of their own house. I’m very capable of it.”

“Don’t kick them out,” I said quietly.

“I was just teasing!” she fretted. “Sorry, sorry, Fae. I shouldn’t tease right now; I was trying to make you feel better.”

“Happens to me all the time,” Jaehyun said with a slight shrug, but he was watching the room very closely. “Intent can be mistaken for something else. That’s why we communicate.” He locked eyes with me. “Go ahead. Remember how they’ve never hurt you like Ryker did, and just talk to them.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, feeling a little better. “I will.” Putting my attention back on my men, I braved their faces. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m scared of you. I’m just scared that you’ll be upset.”

“What do you think will happen?” Namjoon asked evenly. “If we’re upset with you?”

“I don’t think you’ll do anything bad to me,” I said, slightly indignant. “I know you won’t.”

He and the others relaxed a bit.

“Thank you for telling us,” he responded, loosing a breath.

“What is it then, honey?” Jimin prompted with a tense expression. “Fear of Ryker and remembering what he did when he was angry with you?”

I shook my head, then proceeded to nod. “Maybe a little. I think so.” I shuffled in place again. “Yeah.”

Jimin sighed softly. “Honey.”

Hoseok spoke quieter than before, and his tone was withdrawn. “Have we done anything to make you feel afraid of us?”

“No,” I breathed out quickly. “Of course not. It’s just—I didn’t want you to be upset.”

“Should we be upset?”

I froze. “What?”

“You’ve seen us be upset toward each other, Ryker, Kenley’s parents, and Kenley. You’ve even seen us be upset with each other on occasions. Should we be upset with you?”

“For…for what?” I clutched my hands. “For not telling you about Ryker?”

His lips set into a strained line. “Of course I’m upset. I couldn’t be there for you to talk about something that’s been bringing you so much pain.”

I stared at him. “What…happens now?”

“What did you think was going to happen?”

“I…I thought you would have to go away for a little while,” I admitted, feeling frightened that he would take to the idea and do just that. “Because you would be too upset and wouldn’t want to look at me.”

“You thought I would leave you?” His brows raised. “After you opened up about something like this? Faeryn,” he said incredulously. “Why would I leave you? Why would any of us?”

I gnawed on my lip, pained. “I don’t know.”

He stood, and I watched as he closed the distance between us. Lowering himself to me, he cupped my face, making my confusion rise, but my insides to soften.

He brushed our noses together, keeping his voice level. “I wanted you to hear and see that I’m visibly upset.”

“Why?” I managed to ask.

“Because,” he murmured. “I’m not going to shout, insult you, hurt you, or leave you. I communicated why I was upset, and I didn’t lie and say otherwise. I want you to have this memory to negate what you think might happen in the future if I’m ever upset with you again.”

“That’s…all?” My eyes skimmed the others. “We’re not going to argue?”

“I don’t want to argue with you.” He released a strained sigh. “You’ve been going through enough for the past two months. I just want to hold you.”

Relief flooded me, and I shuddered. “That’s really great.”

He kissed my cheek softly. “Relax if you can. Some of us might be upset, but we all care much more about you than anything else.” He gathered me to him, and I sank into his arms. “You must be exhausted.”

I almost deferred the statement and tried to make my exhaustion seem less than it was, but taking his earlier words into account, I said truthfully, “I am.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Talking to them about this and feeling the relief they usually brought felt like a dream. I teared up. “Yeah,” I managed.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said quietly, rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head. “Do you think you’ll communicate with us no matter what’s going on in our lives after this? None of us wants you going through something like this without us, and I don’t think you would want any of us to keep you in the dark about something negatively affecting us either.”

“Yeah,” I said quickly, understanding where he was coming from and already hating how long two months had felt. “I’ll try because I know you want me to. I just…I know how important this comeback was to everyone, and the idea of court and how I was going to handle it wouldn’t have been fun for you.”

“Taking care of you isn’t a chore,” Jungkook said heatedly, surprising me. “We all take care of each other. Our comeback still would’ve been nice if you had told us about this. It wouldn’t have made it any less exciting.”

He gnawed on his lip anxiously. “I know how scary it can feel to communicate, even when hyungs are good listeners, so I really get it—I really do. But if you talked to me about taking Ryker to court, the comeback wouldn’t be ruined. I would just be happy that you communicated with me, and then I would be happy that I could talk to you and maybe take your mind off things. I would just be happy that you let me in.”

I hurried to him, kissing his forehead repeatedly. “Thank you for telling me. It makes me understand a little more.” I threw my arms around him for a hug. “Thank you for saying I was a badass, and thank you for being so sweet.”

He relaxed and hugged me back tightly. “Thank you for talking to me and hyungs, and…thank you for talking to your friends, even when you didn’t talk to us.” He nosed into my hair. “It makes me feel better that you weren’t alone.”

Lyric cheered. “See?! Fae and I were right! Bringing us here during this talk was a good idea.”

Slowly untangling myself from Jungkook, I smiled tearfully before turning to everyone else. Walking to claim Hoseok’s hand, I took a deep breath. “Is anyone else upset with me? Do…you want to talk about it?”

“I understand your thought process for keeping this to yourself, even if you wouldn’t have ruined any moment of our comeback if you told us.” Jimin’s features were pinched. “It’s upsetting when you push us away when we’ve repeatedly told you that we don’t see our talks as a burden.”

“He’s right,” Taehyung agreed with a nod of finality. “Making you feel better makes me feel nice. I just love you so much, Faeryn, and I don’t care what we talk about as long as we talk. Whatever it is, okay? Even if it’s about the shithead you’re taking to court. Talk to me,” he said earnestly. “To all of us. You want the same from us; I know you do.”

“Okay,” I agreed, feeling awkward. “I will.”

He noticed the sudden change. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I just feel like I made the wrong decision by not telling any of you, and now I feel sick in my stomach.”

Kenley surprised me when she spoke up. “Faeryn did not do anything wrong, and you can all be upset with her, but do not make her regret her decision. She is competent, and she is a strong, independent woman. She smirked at Ryker after court; I saw her. It was very strange and competent, and she did it all without you, even with the lack of communication. So don’t be upset because she chose other people to communicate with. She did it because she loves you. She wanted you to have the best comeback after you didn’t have one for a while; it was her way of showing love. At that time, when the stakes felt so high, she believed it was the right decision.”

She crossed her arms and pushed further into the couch despite how far she already was. “Faeryn, do not feel bad or apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, and in my opinion, they need to understand that, and you don’t need to cry.”

“Oh.” I wiped my eyes. “Yeah. I’m…yeah, just crying a little.”

“Kenley,” Jimin said, frustrated.

“Oh, do not Kenley me,” she snapped, glaring at him. “She is doing her best to explain, and if you Kenley me again, I will Jimin you.”

“We know she felt like it was the right decision; we know that.” He rubbed his temples, closing his eyes with annoyance. “But we’re trying to tell her that she isn’t a burden to us because, with her reasoning, it points towards her feeling that way.”

“It’s okay,” I insisted, wiping my nose hurriedly. “It’s okay, it’s okay. We don’t need to fight. I mean, argue.” I sniffled. “We don’t need to argue.”

“Yeah, it really is fine,” Taehyung sided with me. “Really. We’re all okay, and Faeryn, you aren’t a burden and you never will be.”

I smiled wobbily. “I know. I just thought that this…I don’t know. I thought it would be okay to tell you after your comeback, so it wouldn’t taint it.”

“I know,” he said gently. “I know what you thought, and it’s okay. Now you know that in the future, we always want you to communicate with us about hard things, even during comebacks.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “I know now.”

“That’s really good,” he murmured, sharing a smile with me. After a moment, Taehyung glanced at Kenley, took a breath, and attempted to break the ice. “Hi, Kenley.”

She blinked. “Um, hello, Taehyung.”

“Are you okay?” he wondered. “Even if you aren’t taking Ryker to court, this might be bringing up a lot of feelings, maybe.”

“Um,” she replied. “I am going to court. To testify against him.”

Everyone turned to look at her. Surprised was an understatement.

“Even when her parents are his lawyers,” I continued. “She didn’t have to do that, and I know she’s doing it for herself, but she’s doing it for me, too. She isn’t hurting my feelings, she’s trying her best, and I don’t want anyone to fight—or argue. Does everyone understand?”

Everyone present, even Lyric, Cheverie, and Jaehyun, said, “We understand.”

“Good,” I said, faltering slightly at their quick agreement—in unison, nonetheless. “That’s…really great. Thank you. That’s really great.”

My men slowly nodded, gauging Kenley carefully as she did the same right back.

“Okay.” I gripped my elbows to my waist, trying to stay calm. “Good.” My voice dipped. “That was…the big thing I was nervous about: talking about keeping it from you for two months.”

“Let’s talk about it then,” Hoseok offered kindly, motioning toward the couch. “Do you want to sit with us?”

“Later?” I asked hopefully. “I want to keep standing while I talk about it, so I stay focused.”

He kissed my temple. “We’ll keep a seat for you.”

I blushed and nodded, twining my hands as he returned to his seat. “Okay,” I announced. “So…court is in two days.”

“What?” was chorused back at me.

“I asked for a continuance,” I squeaked. “And I wanted you to have five days to rest after two months of basically having no rest days!”

Namjoon ran a hand through his hair, releasing a strained chuckle. “Faeryn.”

“You don’t have to come,” Kenley muttered.

He sighed quietly. “Kenley, I’m understandably upset that I wasn’t there to comfort Faeryn while she was going through this. As much as you’ve all been there for her, which I greatly appreciate, our relationship with her is different, and so is the comfort we can provide her. She knows that, and so do we, so learning that court is two days away, and taking into account her rumination, I know this is all she’s been thinking about, even when she’s “relaxing” with us.

“With that being said.” He turned to me. “What time, baby?”

“What?” I managed.

“What time do we need to be at the courthouse?”

“Oh.” I nodded my understanding, relieved. “It starts at 7 AM.”

Jin’s steel expression was intense. “I’ll drive.”

Cheverie leaned back. “Faeryn’s been a badass throughout this entire process. Yeah, we’ve been there for her, but she’s done it all. I get that you’re worried, but it’s okay. You can’t change how things happened, so just spend time with her. Like Namjoon said, you can all give her comfort that we can’t.”

“We intend to,” Jin responded coolly.

“Yes,” Jimin added in a similar tone. “Thank you for your input.”

Cheverie deadpanned. “It’s a suggestion. Tone down the testosterone.”

“We heard you,” Namjoon told her, dipping his chin with a level smile. “Thank you. For this, and for being there for her.”

Jungkook looked around, and nibbling on his lip, he wondered, “Hi, Kenley. Are you okay?”

“Um, yes, I am fine,” she responded with a confused blink.

“Oh,” he released a breath. “That’s good. Court isn’t fun. You and Faeryn are being really strong.” He jolted with a sudden thought. “When did you start talking to Faeryn again?”

“It’s not a bad thing that we are speaking again,” she defended herself. “I’m not hurting her feelings as much anymore.” She hesitated. “I don’t think.”

“You’re not,” I backed her up. “She’s not. And I started talking to her again last month before we went to America.” I stood up straight. “Kenley is also a badass. I don’t think I would’ve been able to speak up against Ryker in court if my parents were his lawyers.”

“You would have,” she decided. “You would make the right decision for yourself.”

“Thanks,” I said quietly, letting our eyes meet briefly to convey my gratitude. Shifting back to my men, I resumed, “So yeah. That’s when I started talking to Kenley again.”

They had more questions, I could tell, but none of which they wanted to ask with an audience.

“Okay,” I picked back up. “Everyone wants to talk later, so we can talk about court again. Namjoon,” I began somewhat nervously but more so sheepishly. “Jaehyun and I—”

Kenley broke her way into the conversation. “How do you know they want to talk later?” She studied their faces curiously. “Is it an expression formula?”

“A little,” I agreed. “Body language, too.”

“Can you teach me this expression formula? Is it exclusive to them?”

“Hm…” I pursed my lips. “It’s kind of exclusive to them, but I think I just know because I’m around them so much. I don’t know how to explain. But,” I added when her disappointment showed, “I’ll try to find a way to explain and leave you a voicemail later.”

She perked up. “Thank you, Faeryn. That’s really great.”

I smiled brightly. “Of course!”

Namjoon gently cut in. “Hey, baby.”

I looked at him, startled out of my current conversation. “Yeah?”

He smiled when our eyes locked. “Hey,” he murmured, making me melt. Leaning forward, he kept his soft smile as he asked, “Do you want to tell me what you and Jaehyun did?”

“Oh!” I nodded quickly. “Yes, I’ll tell you right now. I was just telling Kenley about your expression formula.”

“And that’s okay.” His smile began to calm me down. “Take your time.”

“Thanks,” I said gratefully, returning his smile. “I was going to tell you that my lawyer is Arae Seoyeon.” My smile turned sheepish, and my nerves returned. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s your lawyer,” Jungkook told Namjoon, surprised.

“It is, bub,” Namjoon confirmed, then asked me, “Why do you think you have to apologize?”

I grudgingly revealed, “Jaehyun put the bill under your name, and I didn’t stop him.”

“Hyung doesn’t care,” Jungkook piped in quickly. “He would’ve paid for you anyway.”

Jaehyun laughed lightly. “What did I tell you, Petal?”

I looked at Namjoon hopefully.

He chuckled softly. “Faeryn, my money is yours. The same can be said for all of our money, can’t it?”

The agreement was swift and unanimous.

“I’m not upset,” he followed up gently. “This situation is already stressful; I don’t want you stressing over money. If anything, I’m glad I could help ease that stress, even if I wasn’t aware until now.”

“Really?” My smile slowly returned, peeking its way through tentatively. “I hoped you wouldn’t be upset, but I thought you might not be.”

“Mhm.” He nodded, an urge for me to continue. “Tell me why that is, baby.”

“Because you never let me pay for anything,” I said shyly.

“That’s right. Did your pattern recognition pick up on that? Hm?”

His slight tease made me giggle. “Yeah, a little.”

He chuckled fondly. “Good. Enough repetition of a good thing is good.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, feeling myself relax with every topic we concluded that I thought might make them upset. “And…when I went to hang out with my friends, I wasn’t lying. We still went to the coffee shop for a few minutes to hang out before going to the lawyer or planning things.”

Jaehyun snorted. “It’s true. Her high sense of justice wouldn’t let her lie to you.”

“I don’t like lying,” I said, remaining firm in my truth. “And that would’ve been lying.”

Taehyung smiled gratefully. “Thank you for telling us.”

I exhaled in relief. “Thanks for listening.”

“Is there anything else?” Jin asked, watching me intently.

“Uh…I don’t think so.” I thought carefully. “Oh, wait. The dress code is business casual for court on Friday, and Arae wants to meet with you all today to go over your testimonies against Ryker. There won’t be any cameras; she made sure of it.”

“She’s a good lawyer,” Namjoon confirmed.

“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed. “She helped me a lot before she helped me win. She was really thoughtful and made me feel less scared.”

“Yeah,” I attested. “She made me feel a lot better about taking him to court, and she thinks the evidence against him is incriminating.”

“It is,” Hoseok seconded, his lips pressed in a straight line. “It’s more than enough.”

I nodded, took a second, and nodded again. “I’m really nervous that he’ll press for a continuance. I don’t want him to draw it on, but Arae says the judge can decline.”

“It depends on the judge,” Namjoon said. “But seeing as Kenley’s parents are the lawyers, I doubt they’ll press for a continuance.”

“That’s what Area said,” I revealed, surprised.

“She told us the same,” Jungkook told me with several quick nods to seal his words. “My managers asked for a continuance, but the judge declined when they saw me.” He blushed, embarrassed. “I was the evidence.”

I said his name quietly, pained.

“It’s okay,” he hurried to say. “I’m okay now. It was just bad then, but now it’s better. That’s how it will be for you, too, okay?”

My smile was wobbly, but I tried. For him. “I just don’t like when you’re hurt.”

“But I’m not hurt anymore,” he reassured me with big eyes. “That was two years ago.”

“I know, but knowing you were in that much pain at all is horrible.”

“Sorry, Faeryn.”

“Why are you sorry?” I asked, surprised.

“I don’t want to make you sad when you’re already nervous for court.”

I hurried to him for another hug and kiss. “I just care about you. You didn’t make me sad, okay? I’m okay.” I kissed his cheek. “I love you, and you’re right; it will be better. Especially after we win.”

He returned my kiss gratefully. “I’m happy that I can testify in court for you.”

“I’m happy you’ll be there,” I returned quietly. “Having you all there will help me so much.”

Jin said in a hoarse tone, “We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Emotion caught in my throat, but I still managed a nod and whispered, “Thank you.”

Kenley stood, and I looked at her questioningly.

She cleared her throat loudly. “Attention. Now.”

Lyric facepalmed, and Jaehyun chuckled.

Kenley hesitated. “Not enough—?”

“—sugar,” Lyric concluded, clicking her tongue once defeatedly. “Not enough sugar.”

Kenley backtracked. “I’m sorry. I…I tried to use Jin’s authoritative formula, but now I think everyone thought that was rude.”

“Burgeoning upon rudeness, maybe. Authoritative? Sure,” Jaehyun said, earning Kenley’s sharp gaze. He returned it with a lazy grin.

I tried not to smile, but one peeked through. “You can talk however you want, Kenley.”

“Um, thank you,” she replied to me, tearing her ruthless attention from Jaehyun. “But when I talk however I want, I hurt your feelings or come across as rude. Or,” she added laconically, “authoritative? Sure.”

Jaehyun leaned back into the couch with a chuckle.

“I know you’re not doing it intentionally,” I reassured her. “Maybe you could try a speech formula.”

“Hm. Okay,” she said thoughtfully. “I have a lot of speech formulas. Which one?”

“Mm…the one where you state things like facts but empathetically, like you understand it might be a difficult thing to hear.”

“I see.” She uncrossed her arms, straightened her posture, and shook her arms out. “I will use that formula to tell everyone that I’m sorry for hurting your feelings by hurting Faeryn’s feelings, and I also think I hurt some of your feelings with my curt responses, so I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, too.”

She explained, “I have my own dictionary where words mean different things to me, but to others, it seems mean. And then sometimes, I am just mean without realizing it. So. I’m sorry. Because I don’t want to be mean to anyone and hurt their feelings. I’m working on it.”

Lyric jutted her lip out in agreement. “It’s true. She’s really been giving it her best shot this past month.”

“I…” Kenley crossed her arms and stepped back. “I think I’m mean first, so no one can be mean to me. I don’t want to be called incompetent.”

Jungkook raised his hand.

Kenley blinked. “Uh…yes.”

Jungkook lowered his hand. “None of us thinks you’re incompetent.”

“He’s right,” Taehyung sided with him.

Jimin replied shortly, “We just thought you were mean.”

Kenley took another step back. “Yes, I know. That’s…why I’m saying sorry.” She shrugged, but her features twisted. “I don’t think mean thoughts, so I don’t know why the things I say are mean.”

Cheverie sighed. “You’re angry at the world, and you have a monotone even when you’re having an okay time. It is what it is. You won’t always be angry.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Kenley said stiffly. “But I will find a formula to be kind.”

Jungkook cocked his head. “You don’t need a formula for that. You just…are kind.”

“Kindness takes too much thinking,” she responded momentarily. “I don’t have it mastered because I haven’t practiced it enough. I’ve been too occupied practicing my competency.”

“Oh.” He nodded a little. “Yeah, I guess that’s a good point. But it’ll be okay,” he added, “if you practice. Maybe you’ll like it.”

“Um…yes, I think you’re right.” She looked at me. “I like being kind sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” Taehyung wondered.

“Yes,” she decided. “When the person I’m being kind to is kind to me, too. Like Faeryn. She’s the kindest person I’ve ever known. Otherwise, kindness is tiresome, dull, and rather tasking.”

Jimin arched a brow. “It costs nothing to be kind.”

“It costs energy.” She frowned. “I was kind to Ryker and gave him many chances. I’ve done the same with other friends in my study group who made me do all of their homework, so…I’ve realized that they’re not actually my friends.” She inhaled sharply, trying to disappear into the couch while also determined to prove her point. “Ryker pretended to be kind back to me, and so did my friends. They weren’t actually kind, so all my kindness I tried so hard to use was for nothing.”

For a moment, he looked uncertain. His voice reappeared an inch gentler. “It wasn’t for nothing. Kindness comes back to people who give it, even if it’s not from the same person they give it to.” His eyes drifted to mine, and his features softened. “Faeryn gave kindness away to so many undeserving people, but now she has so many people who return that kindness every day. So many people who love her.”

My heart filled with warmth, and I nodded quickly. “He’s right, Kenley. It always comes back to you.”

“Like karma?” she asked dubiously. “The karma formula is a concept, so it’s very finicky, and I…don’t trust it.”

“Kind of like karma,” I mused. “But…maybe not. Maybe we can be kind just because it makes us feel lighter.”

“Well,” she thought aloud. “I will be as nice as I can be to everyone here, but for other people, they will have to earn that. Giving away things for free is a formula that allows people to steal from you.”

“Not all the time,” I countered gently.

“Yes, I agree, like for instance, to all the people I agreed to be kind to just now.” She nodded curtly. “None of you will steal from me, and if you decide to be mean to me because you don’t like me, then I won’t blame you. I am not very likable, I was mean to you, and I was mean to Faeryn. That is a formula I created for myself: a formula to be disliked.”

She swung her arms once before clasping her hands. “Well. That’s all I wanted to say, aside from I need to use the bathroom, so am I allowed?”

Hoseok gestured to where it was, relaying kindly, “You are. Go ahead.”

She bowed lightly and said her thanks as she walked away. Once she was out of earshot, Jimin sighed.

“Jimin,” I entreated quietly. “She’s trying.”

“She is,” came Jaehyun’s agreement.

“I know,” Jimin responded, tugging his hand through his hair. “I’m trying to get past what she said about you. Building back up trust is hard.” He smiled ruefully. “I’m trying. I tend to hold grudges against people who hurt those I care about, but I can see she’s trying, too.”

“She is,” I agreed, his words making me feel hopeful. “It’ll be okay.”

He held his hand out to me. “My sweet girl.”

Relieved, I walked to him and let him draw me onto his lap, settling when he kissed me.

“Ugh, gross,” Cheverie muttered. “I was promised no PDA.”

I squeaked and pulled away from Jimin. “Sorry! I forgot!”

Jaehyun laughed. “What did I tell you?”

I grumbled and repeated his earlier words, “It will be the easiest promise you’ll ever break.”

Jungkook giggled. “You’re so cute, Faeryn.”

I blushed and brightened. “Oh, thanks! You are too; you always are. It’s why I have such a big crush on you.”

He squeaked, turning the cutest shade of red. “I have a big crush on you, too.”

“This is heading into another public display of affection,” Cheverie warned.

“Sorry, sorry,” I said hurriedly as a few of my men chuckled. “I totally forgot because everything got so hectic, and—”

“I get it, it’s not a big deal, but for the sake of my nausea, keep it to a minimum.”

Jimin pressed his hand against my lower back. “You’re free to look away.”

Cheverie grunted.

“Aw, she’s just grumpy,” Lyric chirped, patting Cheverie’s arm. “She hasn’t had a girl of her own in months.”

Jaehyun raised his brows. “Why so long, Chev? You used to date and break up with someone every month.”

Cheverie rested her forearm over her eyes. “Leave me be. I prefer suffering in silence.”

Jaehyun hummed. “Lyric’s been awfully single for a while, too. You both lose some of your game at parties, eh? Need to spruce up your flirting game?”

Lyric scowled and lunged over the couch to whack him, making Cheverie snicker even though her eyes remained closed.

Jimin easily ignored their squabbling and returned to our kiss. With his hand rubbing my back comfortingly, I melted into him, enjoying the physical affection—especially after everything we’d talked about tonight.

Kenley returned. “Um, should I go?”

I gave Jimin a final kiss and pulled away, laying my cheek on his chest and breathing deeply. “No, it’s okay! We’re done.”

His hands held my waist protectively, offering a squeeze and a continual caress. With his lips against my cheek, he promised in a tone just for me, “Later.”

I nodded, kissing his neck in agreement.

Taehyung wondered, “When do we have to meet Aera?”

“Five hours,” I responded. “I wanted to give everyone time to ask questions or…be alone if they were upset.”

Jimin sighed softly, lifting one hand to thread his fingers through my hair. “None of us wants to be away from you, honey. Five hours sounds too long.”

“Maybe one hour,” I tried to make a light tease.

He kissed my temples. “Too long.”

“We’ll be there,” Lyric announced. “We’re testifying against his lousy ass, too.” She leaned back, shrieking when Cheverie nudged her to sit up. “Off of me, I say; off!”

Cheverie’s eyes remained closed, and her smile remained, too.

“What will we do now?” Lyric groaned, pushing forward on her way to annoy Jaehyun with random swats. “I want to be in a room with your lawyer and hear everyone bash Ryker. It’s become the highlight of my life to hate on that small-dicked man.”

Kenley nodded. “It’s true. He is a small-dicked man.”

I covered my face with my hands, burning up. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

Jaehyun cackled. “This isn’t the first time the topic has come up, if you would believe it.”

Taehyung looked surprised, and a frown settled onto his features. “Everything new I learn about him makes me even more disgusted.”

Jin cut in with firm decisiveness, “This is not a conversation we have with company.”

Relieved, I nodded and clung to Jimin, wanting to end the conversation immediately.

Jaehyun chuckled and clasped his hands behind his neck. “Was this the authoritative tone you were trying to have, Kenley?”

Kenley pursed her lips. “Yes. I need to practice it.”

Lyric took one look at my face and offered, “Let’s talk about something else, or hey! We could even do something else. Who wants coffee?”

Jin exhaled deeply. “We appreciate all you’ve done for Faeryn.”

“Uh-oh.” Jaehyun stood and sent Jin a teasing smile. “We’re being kicked out.”

“What?” Kenley asked, confused. “No one said that. Jaehyun, explain to me this instant how you knew that.”

“He was getting to it.” Jaehyun looked at her, a teasing smile settling on his lips. “It’s a part of his formula.” He hauled Lyric up, but Cheverie was quick to dodge his hand and got to her feet, still dutifully closing her eyes.

“You are more aware of his formula than I am?” Kenley was saying, mumbling to herself as she wondered how this could be possible with her excessive training.

Lyric cackled and began to wave her hand in front of Cheverie’s face, but Cheverie surprised her by grabbing her wrist before she could.

“Don’t even think about it,” Cheverie said.

Lyric sputtered, “I wasn’t!”

Jaehyun threw his arms around their shoulders and steered them to the door. “Kenley, let’s go.”

She snapped back into herself, her mumbles coming to a halt as she looked at where I was attempting to hide in Jimin’s form. “Um, Faeryn.”

I looked up just enough to see her. “Sorry, I’m still here. Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Oh, um, yes. Thanks, I’m okay, considering that I have to keep learning Jin’s formula to become Jaehyun’s successor.”

Jaehyun called over his shoulder, “You amuse me.”

“I do not,” she replied.

I giggled. “I’m on your side, Kenley. You’ll become even better than Jaehyun at understanding Jin’s formula.”

She stood proudly. “I assumed you would be. It’s a part of your ‘Just Faeryn’ formula.”

“That’s really great!” I beamed. “I’m really happy that you came, but…I’m sorry that we couldn’t talk more.”

“No, that’s okay. We didn’t have to talk; that wasn’t the prerogative of the day. I was just going to tell you to…” She motioned to my shirt. “Chew that. Or…something else. For stimulation.” She nodded along with her words. “It helps with regulation and making you less anxious.”

“Yes, thank you, Kenley. That is a good idea.” Yoongi exited the room, informing no one in particular, “I will retrieve the chewing necklaces.”

“Yes, um, it was a good idea, I guess,” Kenley decided. “You can chew on those, Faeryn. Well.” She walked back. “I’m going with the others now…even though I do not like Jaehyun’s car.”

“Ugh, it’s true,” Lyric griped. “She’s in love with Cheverie’s car, and since we took Jaehyun’s car today, she’s been comparing the two all day.”

Kenley said with a hint of excitement, “Cheverie’s car is a Chevrolet. That is the greatest similarity I have ever seen, and it…hm…tickles my brain just right.”

“And my car,” Jaehyun said drily, “doesn’t tickle it just right. How unfortunate.”

“Only for you,” Kenley said.

Cheverie chuckled. “We’ll see you in a few hours, Faeryn.”

“Okay.” I waved a little. “Bye, everyone. Thanks for coming!”

They returned my wave, and once they left through the door, Jungkook jumped up to lock the door. Afterward, he raced to give me a kiss.

“Faeryn,” he breathed into it. “Thank you for telling us.” Pulling away, our noses bumped together as his earnest expression shone through. “You kept it from us because you just wanted to help and make our comeback as special as possible, but it was already as special as possible because you were with us. Okay? So it’s okay, ducky. Even if some of us are a little upset that we couldn’t be there for you the way we wish we could’ve been, we love you way more than we could ever be upset.”

He kissed me again, softer than before. “Okay?”

I hugged him tightly. “Okay,” I said into his neck, offering it a kiss as I whispered, “I love you. All of you.”

Sniffling, I leaned back and wiped my nose with a tearful smile. “I’m happy we talked about it and that we’re still okay. I thought you would all need time away from me for a little bit, not that you would do anything to hurt me. I know you would never,” I made sure they knew. “I’m not scared of that.”

“Good, sweetheart,” Hoseok murmured. “Thank you for telling us.”

“And,” Namjoon added gently, “it’s okay if you feel scared because of pattern recognition toward how scared Ryker made you feel. We’ll always remind you through words and actions that we won’t hurt you.”

“Thank you,” I said with a grateful smile. “I know that, and I also know you won’t hurt me.” I peeked over at Hoseok. “I…I know I flinched that one time around a month ago when you tried to touch my cheek, but it wasn’t because I thought you were going to hit me or anything like that—I really mean it. I was just…really tired, so it made me really anxious, so any touch felt like…a threat, I think. Even though I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I know,” he said softly. “I figured it was that, but either way, thank you for communicating that with me. I appreciate it.” He sighed quietly. “I know you were struggling, especially that week. Is that before you went to court for the continuance, but knew you would have to?”

I nodded tentatively. “I was scared, and I…I really wanted to talk to you all about it, but I didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood for the comeback—even though now I know that none of you would’ve minded. I just—I wanted you all to have the best comeback free of any outside stress, and you’ve done so much for me that I just wanted to give you something back.”

“Always talk to us.” Jimin’s lips brushed my temple. “You’ll never bring us down, honey. Only up.”

I relaxed. “Okay, I will, and none of you will ever bring me down either, if you ever thought you would. I love talking to all of you, no matter what we’re talking about, and I know we argue sometimes, but even then, I wouldn’t want to argue with anybody else.”

Their soft smiles shone back at me.

“It is the same for us,” Yoongi told me firmly. “We adore you.”

My lips parted. “I adore you, too. So much.”

“Us as well, Faeryn,” he murmured. “Us as well.”

I showed my best smile and wiped my eyes. “Well, that’s done, right? We had a good conversation, and everything will be okay with the court situation, like it will be with us. Right?”

The agreement was unanimous.

My smile felt safe enough to remain. “That’s really great.”

“It is.” Jimin kissed me, tenderness leaking into every brush of his lips. “Really great.”

I giggled and twined my arms around his neck, kissing him back heartily. “What will we do for five hours?”

Taehyung wondered, “Do you want to talk about what you’re feeling toward the court situation? You said you wanted to when you were talking to Hoseok a few minutes ago, but if you changed your mind, that’s okay, of course!”

I broke away from Jimin’s kiss but quickly gave him one more. “Mm, maybe later. I just want to be with all of you. Is that okay? Did you want to talk about it?”

“Not if you don’t want to,” he responded with a caring smile. “I just wanted to make sure we didn’t skip over something you wanted to do.”

“It’s okay; I’m okay!” I nodded quickly. “I feel a lot better now that everyone knows.”

“Good.” Jimin squeezed me to him, peppering my face with kisses. “We love you.”

“I love you, too,” I gushed, burying my face in his neck and holding on tight.

“It’s decided.” Jin’s deep voice rumbled through. “We’ll speak of it later, if needed.”

He prompted my name, earning my attention, and I lifted my face to see him.

“Yes, Jin?” I wondered.

“Speak to us about this when you’re ready. There are a few more things I would like to discuss, but it’s nothing to worry about, yes? It’s a conversation with you and me to see where your head is at. That is all. You’re not in trouble, and I’m not upset.”

“Thank you,” I breathed out. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready to talk about it.”

“Thank you,” he spoke more softly than before.

I tucked my hands to my face and rested my cheek on Jimin’s chest. “Mm…”

Jimin rubbed my back soothingly. “What is it, honey?”

I clutched his shirt. “Is it okay if I take a nap before we go? The conversation drained me, I think. It’s because I’m really tired now.”

“Yeah, of course, honey.” He exhaled deeply, voicing his approval when I rubbed my face against his shirt for comfort. “You can take a nap right here with me. Does that sound nice?”

“Yeah,” I agreed sleepily. “So nice.”

He hummed his response and returned to caressing my hair. “Get some sleep, baby. We’ll put the TV on low and stay right here with you.”

“Thank you,” I told them all, easily sinking into the comfort they were providing. “I can’t wait to see you when I wake up.”

They chuckled kindly, and a variety of goodnights were sent my way before they claimed a cheek kiss each.

I fell asleep feeling heard, protected, loved, and safe; the most perfect outcome.

Chapter 70: Entering Our Revenge Era

Summary:

A slice of life chapter before the court day arrives.

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“Who said that?” Jimin mused as my reality arose. “I doubt it was Siwoo.”

Jaehyun laughed lightly.

Jimin chuckled, surprised. “Oh yeah?”

“Siwoo’s trying to get all the ladies he can,” Jaehyun revealed, his tone playful and light. “You should see him at my parties—Lyric’s, too. The man can’t control himself.”

“Has he had any luck?” Jimin asked, amused.

Jaehyun laughed again. “No.”

Jimin’s laughter joined his, but at a quieter level to not disturb my nap, but I was already awake, blinking wearily as I came to. “He’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Eventually,” Jaehyun agreed with a chuckle. “But not any time soon. And with all the ladies he’s trying to get with? He’s obviously trying to compensate, but he needs to be alone for a second and be alone with his thoughts. He’s never going to realize Hajoon’s interest if he doesn’t. Honestly, it—” He paused, and his head cocked to the side as a slow smile appeared. “Someone decided to join us.”

I blinked when I realized he was talking about me, and I hid my face better than before, not ready to leave Jimin’s warmth yet—especially when it meant going to see Arae.

Jimin’s voice was significantly softer when directed toward me. “Are you awake, baby?”

I huffed.

“Uh-oh,” Jaehyun teased. “Did I out you?”

I mumbled incoherently and curled closer to Jimin, turning my face away from Jaehyun. “Jimin.”

“What do you need?”

I smacked my lips together tiredly before leaning back and offering them for a kiss. He bestowed it easily with a light chuckle, pressing one hand to my lower back to stabilize me.

Pulling away, he checked my expression and tucked strands of hair sticking to my face away. “Did you have a good nap?”

I shrugged and wordlessly asked for another kiss.

Amused, he kissed me. “Tell me how you slept, honey.”

I face-planted into his chest. “Good,” I revealed, my voice muffled. “Jimin?”

“Yes, honey.”

“Can I have tea?”

“Yeah? What were you thinking, hm? What are you in the mood for?”

“Chamomile,” I decided, clinging to him as he stood. “Just like you always make it—with lemon and sugar.”

“Sugar?” Jaehyun asked. “Huh. I pegged you for a honey person, what with the nickname and all.”

“Honey stings my throat,” I mumbled.

He snorted. “You don’t want me here first thing when you wake up, huh, Petal?”

“Too early,” I grumbled.

“It’s the afternoon,” he returned with a laugh. “Come on, wake up. The others will be here soon.”

“The others?” I wondered groggily. “No, not yet. I haven’t even had my tea.” I blinked tiredly, deciding it was important to ask, “What others?”

“Lyric, Cheverie, and Kenley. They took Cheverie’s car because Kenley kept badmouthing my car. I couldn’t subject my car to that kind of slander, Petal. You understand.”

“Not yet,” I muttered. “It’s too early to understand anything.”

He laughed, but the sound faded as Jimin carried me to the kitchen. As soon as we entered, I heard Jungkook’s excitement as he called, “Hyung!”

Jaehyun’s grin was evident in his tone. “You miss me?”

“You’re early!” Jungkook declared, and a playful ‘oomph’ from Jaehyun alerted me that Jungkook chose a hug attack.

While they continued talking, Jimin brewed tea and rocked me in his arms. The gentle, familiar motions eased me into a more awake state of mind, and by the time my strawberry cup was in my hands, I felt better.

“Aera,” I told Jimin as I sipped my tea, now standing beside him. “We’ll have to go see her in an hour.”

“Mhm.” He ran his hand through my hair, watching me drink my tea with fondness written into his features. “Finish your tea; there’s no rush.”

“There’s a little rush,” I pointed out, but I took another few sips. “Jimin, who’s Siwoo and Hajoon?”

He chuckled, sounding surprised. “How long were you awake?”

I blushed. “Not too long. I just heard you talking about them when I was trying to fall back to sleep.”

“Mhm,” he teased, tickling lightly beneath my chin just enough to make me giggle. “And what did you hear?”

“That Siwoo is too occupied with other women to realize that Hajoon likes him.”

“Mm, very good. You have perfect listening skills, huh?"

I laughed a little, keeping my lips wrapped around my straw as I earned more tea. “Sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” he echoed, amused. Kissing the top of my head, he told me, “Siwoo and Hajoon go to Jaehyun’s parties; they’re friends from his college, and I’ve gotten to know them a bit. They’re friends with Lyric as well; they’re all college friends.”

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. “Did you know Lyric before you knew me because of the parties?”

“I had heard of her,” he confirmed. “Jaehyun talked about her here and there, but no, I’d never seen her and didn’t put the pieces together that she was your friend until Jaehyun pointed it out one day at HYBE last year.”

“Oh, really? Wow,” I thought out loud. “You could have met Lyric before you met me.”

“I could’ve, baby. But I didn’t, did I? I had the absolute pleasure of meeting you first.” He hummed when he saw the pleasant expression his words drew from me. “I only wish I’d met you sooner. You worked at reception for months, and I was too caught up to realize what had been in front of me.”

“You have me now,” I said brightly, pressing into his arms for a side hug.

“I do,” he murmured, rubbing my side comfortingly. “My sweet, mean woman.”

I poked his side. “That’s right.”

He earned another kiss, and we continued talking as I drank until Jungkook pushed into the room using his socks as ammunition to slide.

“Hi!” he announced himself. “Jin hyung said we need to get ready to go.”

Content after my time with Jimin, I felt more ready to face our time with Arae. "Okay," I agreed, smiling at him. "Hi!" I opened my arms. 

He flew into my arms and picked me up, twirling me around the kitchen as he spoiled me with kisses, and I burst into laughter.

"Hi," he greeted, out of breath and displaying a toothy grin. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Yup!" I chirped, nuzzling our cheeks together. "What did you do when I was napping?"

"I hung out with Hoseok and Joon. We played video games!"

"Fun!" I exclaimed. 

“Yeah!”

Jaehyun strolled in, showing a sly smile. “Jin’s on his way down here to scold everyone.”

“Scold?” I asked, confused. “Why?”

“Jungkook was sent down here to tell you all to get ready to go, but that was twenty minutes ago, and none of you are ready.” He pointed toward the stairs, wiggling his brows. “Jin’s on his way.”

Jungkook put me down and drew me to him with his arms around my waist. “I just got distracted, so it wasn’t Faeryn’s or Jimin’s fault. Jin hyung will understand.”

“Uh-huh, doubt it.”

Jin arrived as if summoned, and his intent gaze swept over the room until his eyes landed on mine. He raised a questioning brow, but his features were soft.

“We were about to get ready,” I told him, smiling sheepishly.

“Mhm.” He walked closer, and I looked up to keep eye contact with him. “Before or after we have to be there?”

I grinned cheekily. “I can’t see into the future.”

“No? I would’ve thought so, given your pattern recognition.”

“Oh! That’s true.” I beamed and offered my lips for a kiss. “Maybe I can see into the future, but just a little.”

His lips hovered over mine. “Wash up and grab your sweater. Lyric and Cheverie will be here any minute.” Kissed the corner of my mouth, he added, “With a surprise.”

I tried to kiss him, but he moved back, amused when a plaintive sound left me.

“Go,” he instructed, squeezing my hip. “Or Jungkook will claim your surprise.”

“I can share with him.” I clutched his arm. “I want a kiss.”

“Once you’re ready to go, you can have a kiss, Faeryn, now go.” His hand lowered to my ass, and he offered a squeeze. “Yes?”

I shivered. “Yes, Jin.”

“Very good, Faeryn.” He pressed another teasing kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”

I hurried out of the kitchen, glaring at Jaehyun, who displayed an amused smile.

His laughter followed me, and I heard him tell my men, “I don’t think she likes me very much.”

I ran back in, making him jump a few inches when I squared up. He blinked, surprised, but didn’t get a chance to speak when I did first, telling him, “Because you always make me feel like that.”

“Scared of an attack from a woman who can’t get a kiss from her boyfriend?”

I scowled, turning a bright red. “He’s going to kiss me.”

“He is.” Jin’s low voice permeated each corner of the room. “Watch how you speak to her.”

It was a light warning, nothing too serious, but Jin meant every word of it and awaited confirmation.

Jaehyun bit back a smile when I shook my fists. “My bad, Petal. I’ll stop making you feel like you’re seconds away from being run up on.”

“Fine.” I shook my fists one more time to prove my point. “Because if you don’t, I will run up on you.”

“Do you know what that consists of?”

“Yes,” I declared. “It consists of me winning in a fight against you.”

“Uh-huh. You think you can win a fight against me if you can’t reach the top of my head, even on your tiptoes?”

I gasped, and without a second thought, I hopped on my tiptoes and shoved him, taking my chances and racing out of the room. He was hot on my tail as Jimin’s laughter followed us, immediately followed by Jin saying Jaehyun’s name in warning, but neither of us stopped running.

I raced right into Namjoon, squealing as I ducked behind him for safety. Although he wasn’t sure what was occurring, he pushed Jaehyun back with a hand on his chest, asking laughingly, “What is this?”

“She attacked me,” Jaehyun responded. “I’m here to claim revenge.”

“That’s funny.” Namjoon pushed him back again. “No.”

“You’re going to let her get away with violence?”

“Yes.”

I smirked.

Jaehyun sighed somberly. “Kenley’s smirk is rubbing off on you, Petal. It’s not a good look.”

My scowl returned. “You are so annoying, Jaehyun. I’m going to square up with you again.”

Namjoon pressed a hand to my arm, keeping me steady as my body buzzed with the need to attack again. With a chuckle, he told Jaehyun, “Watch it. She means war.”

Jaehyun rolled up his sleeves. “Come on. I have a sister. I’m used to this shit.” He motioned me forward. “Give it your best shot.”

I clung to Namjoon. “Hold me back.”

His shoulders shook with amusement, but his grip on my arm tightened per my request. “I’m holding you back.”

“Thank you,” I huffed, feeling confident enough to struggle when I knew Namjoon wouldn’t let me go anywhere. “See, Jaehyun? He’s holding me back.”

Jaehyun started to laugh. “Petal.”

“Don’t Petal me; I’m dangerous! I’m taking Ryker to court, and I’m going to run up on you—well, I would, but Namjoon’s holding me back.” I pointed at Namjoon furiously. “See?”

“Taking Ryker to court isn’t dangerous. Badass? Yes. Dangerous? To be determined.”

“By what?!”

“By if you decide to run up on him.”

I shifted closer to Namjoon. “Well, no, I’m…not going to do that.”

Jaehyun cracked a smile. “I’m teasing you. I know you won’t.”

I swung my fists. “Stop teasing me!”

Namjoon laughed and pulled me into his arms, carrying me upstairs while I continued swinging my fists at Jaehyun, who showed me his fists in return.

“Namjoon!” I gasped. “Jaehyun’s threatening me!”

Namjoon turned, but Jaehyun’s fists were already lowered, and he just grinned innocently.

“Can I help you?” he asked cheerfully.

“I’m going to show you help!” I tried to get to him, but Namjoon took me away and into my room.

“Faeryn,” he chuckled, arranging my mussed hair out of my face. “We need to leave soon.”

“But Jaehyun!” I sputtered. “He’s always teasing me, and he laughs at me, and he even made me say ‘best’ to him that time. And…even though he apologized, it still wasn’t nice. Um…but I forgave him, so I don’t know why I’m bringing it up because I’m not actually mad at him about that anymore, but…I was mad at him then!”

I went right back to fuming while Namjoon retrieved a change of clothes for me.

“Mhm.” He nodded, indulging my rant. “Is that right?”

“It’s right,” I confirmed, kicking my legs lightly from the bed. “And I don’t want him to keep being so annoying.”

“What will you do about that?”

“Attack.”

He hid a smile. “I didn’t take you for an attacker. Is this a side of you Jaehyun is bringing out?”

“Yes! Because he’s so annoying!”

“I thought you liked being his friend.”

“Oh. Well…I do.” My legs paused their swinging momentarily. “But…he’s still annoying.”

“Is hitting him a good idea?”

“No…and I won’t actually,” I admitted grumpily. “I’ll just push him with my fists. I have strong fists, and maybe not as strong as all of you, but…they’re kind of strong.”

“I’ve felt the power of them when you punched my arm during our Christmas vacation,” he teased fondly.

I giggled. “Yeah, you told me to.”

“I didn’t think you’d take me up on the invitation.”

“Well, I did,” I said haughtily. “So there.”

“So there,” he echoed, chuckling. “Mhm. Arms up, baby.”

“I’m going to find another way to get revenge on Jaehyun.” I lifted my arms for Namjoon, allowing him to take my shirt off. “And he won’t see me coming.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Like…maybe when he isn’t looking, I can take his donut and eat it.”

“When will he be eating a donut?”

“Oh, uh…I don’t know. Maybe I can give him a donut, and when he looks away, I can take it back.” I grinned mischievously. “Oh, yes. That’s a good idea.”

“Our sweet, mean woman won’t stop until she gets revenge, huh?”

“That’s right,” I declared proudly. “Jaehyun will never tease me again.”

“A nice sentiment,” he said laughingly. “But he’ll want revenge on you, and the cycle will never end.”

I shimmied into a pair of jeans, waddling over to the full-length mirror to see if they matched my shirt. “Um…Joon?”

“Yeah, baby.”

“It doesn’t match.”

“You don’t like the little diamonds on your jeans?”

I toyed with one. “Yeah, I like it, but it doesn’t match my shirt.”

“It does match, hm? It looks very pretty.”

I pursed my lips. “Are you sure? Diamonds on jeans go with a professional shirt?”

“It goes with the professional shirt you’re wearing.”

“Well…okay.” I zipped up the jeans and bounded back to him, springing into his arms and holding on tight. “Done!”

“Done,” he repeated, brushing our noses together. “Are you ready to argue with Jaehyun again?”

“Oh, yes.” I shifted in his arms and pointed to the door. “Let’s go.”

Lyric and Cheverie had just arrived when Namjoon and I returned downstairs, and Lyric was delighted to see me.

“Fae!” she cheered, holding out a tray of coffee. “Surprise!”

I clapped my hands excitedly. “This is my surprise?”

“Yes! Don’t you love it?! An iced latte and a chocolate scone; your favorite!”

“I love it!” I hugged her carefully so we wouldn’t drop the coffee tray. “Thank you!”

“Anything for you!” she squealed, hugging me tightly. “The matcha is obviously for Kenley. Matcha is sooo nasty.”

“It is not,” Kenley said upon her arrival, tugging her sweater’s neckline up to her throat. “It’s really good.”

“To you, maybe.” Lyric fake gagged. “It tastes like mulch.”

“Do you go around tasting mulch?” Kenley asked.

“Don’t you?!”

Kenley carefully retrieved her matcha. “No, because I’m normal.”

Lyric put a hand to her heart. “Kenley, how could you be so mean to me? So cruel!”

Kenley smirked. “It is because I’m in my revenge era. First Ryker, and now you for saying matcha isn’t good.”

I jumped up with excitement. “I’m in my revenge era, too!”

“I know.” Kenley sipped her matcha, sighing softly as she swallowed. “You’re taking Ryker to court, too. It was your idea.”

“But I meant more that I’m going to get revenge on Jaehyun.” I stood up taller proudly. “He won’t stop teasing me, and I’m going to make sure he stops.”

Lyric grinned. “Fuck yeah. I’m all in for this revenge plan.”

Jaehyun grabbed his assigned coffee and handed Jungkook his. “Hush, Lyric. You talk too much.”

“Says the one talking!” she shrieked.

“Only in a vain attempt to get you to stop.” He drank his coffee. “Fuck, that’s good.”

Jungkook held his coffee tightly as he tried to put his shoes on at the same time, sipping from it as he eventually gave up and pushed his foot out to Namjoon, wordlessly asking with his eyes for help.

Namjoon chuckled and bent down to tie Jungkook’s shoes, and Jungkook petted his hair fondly, earning a kiss once Namjoon was done.

“Your coffee,” I announced to Namjoon, holding it out to him.

“Thank you, baby.” He kissed me, scratching the back of my head lightly but enough to make my eyes flutter contentedly.

Jaehyun snorted. “Getting lost in a daydream?”

I sipped my latte aggressively. “I would run up on you if I wasn’t enjoying my latte so much.”

“Oh yeah,” Lyric praised. “She’s going to beat your ass, Jae.”

“Yes,” Kenley seconded. “She is going to beat your ass.”

I lifted my brows, testing him. “See? They’re on my side.”

Cheverie slung her arm around my shoulders. “We all are.”

Jaehyun cracked up. “Okay, good to know.”

Jungkook grinned at the scene. “Hyung, you’re outnumbered.”

“Yeah, I saw that, thanks.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Let’s finish up here, so we can go.”

Jin walked into view, and pulling my lips away from my straw, I hurried over to him. He leaned down, swept my hair onto my shoulder, and kissed me deeply.

I sighed happily when we pulled away, tucking comfortably into his side as he walked me to the door.

“See?” I told Jaehyun haughtily. “He kissed me.”

“Yeah, we all saw that,” he responded. “I’m quite literally five feet from you.”

I shook my fist out again before sipping my drink and side-eyeing him out the door.

Kenley huffed out what almost sounded like a laugh. “That is the look I wanted to give to you when I thought we would have to take your car back here today, Jaehyun.”

“Oh, ha, hilarious,” he said drily.

I turned slightly and held my fist out to Kenley. When she just looked at it, I told her in a hushed whisper, “It’s a fist bump of alliance against Jaehyun.”

“Oh.” She fist-bumped me awkwardly, but as soon as she did, a slow smirk greeted her lips. “Good.”

Namjoon took Jungkook’s hand and led me to the door behind Jin and me, and Jaehyun fell into line with Jimin and Lyric while Kenley and Cheverie followed.

“Where’s everyone else?” I wondered as Jimin locked the door.

“They got an early start.” Jimin kissed my temple on his way to the car. “Is your latte good, honey?”

“Oh yes, really good.” I held it out to him. “Do you want some?”

“Lyric gave me a cappuccino, so I’m good, but thank you for being so sweet and asking.”

Jungkook offered eagerly, “Sit with me, Faeryn.”

“Okay,” I agreed immediately. “I will! Which car are we going in?”

In Namjoon’s car, there was enough room for my men and me, and the others took separate cars.

“Why did everyone else go before us?” I wondered. “When did they go?”

“A while ago,” Namjoon responded, his eyes on the road as he drove. “They wanted some fresh air.”

“Are they okay?”

“They’re perfectly fine,” Jimin reassured me. “They just wanted fresh air.” He opened his window slightly. “Doesn’t that feel nice?”

“Mm…yeah,” I decided carefully. “They’re really okay?”

“They are, baby. Don’t worry.”

“Okay.” I settled into my seat. “I can’t wait to see them. Did they get coffee, too?”

“I’m not sure,” he mused, fixing the rearview mirror. “You can ask when we see them, hm?”

I agreed with Jimin and shifted closer to Jungkook, smiling my biggest smile when we made eye contact. “Do you want to play rock, paper, scissors?”

“For what?” he wondered, confused but still returning my big smile. “What are we trying to win?”

“Nothing,” I said bashfully. “I just wanted to play it with you.”

He grinned and shot his right hand out. “Ready?”

We played a few rounds before switching to eye-spy, and I was so caught up in enjoying myself that I didn’t realize we arrived until Namjoon announced it.

I swallowed. “Oh.”

Jin squeezed my inner thigh from beside me. “It will be a quick meeting, and afterward, we’ll do something fun.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed quickly. “It will give you something to look forward to, okay? Arae just wants to give us a rundown and go through what we’ll say when we’re on the stand.”

I nodded slowly. “Mm…okay. Hold my hand inside?”

“Yeah, of course,” he breathed out. “I won’t let go.”

Feeling a little better, I showed a weak nod. “Okay, thank you, love you. I’m ready now.”

“I love you, ducky.” He kissed my cheek just as Jin kissed my forehead. “You’ll be okay,” he added earnestly, squeezing my hand and unbuckling me simultaneously. “Just focus on us.”

“That’s right, bub,” Namjoon approved, turning to look at me. He smiled softly. “Focus on us; this will be over soon.”

“Two weeks,” I said, trying to reassure myself. “Like Yoongi and I say.”

“Just like you say.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “There’s always an end to two weeks.”

“There is,” he confirmed gently. He held his hand out to me. “Ready?”

I took it, determined to brave this meeting. “Ready.”

It went smoothly, and it was a relief to have my men finally be clued in about everything. Arae, Namjoon, and Jungkook exchanged pleasantries, having worked closely before, but she knew all of my men since they also testified for Jungkook.

They ran through everything, made sure our stories aligned—which wasn’t difficult because we were telling the truth—and we spoke for a while longer before the meeting ended with another round of pleasantries and the promise to see each other in court.

I was having heart palpitations when we returned to the parking lot.

Kenley angled her face to see mine, and when she caught sight of my trembling hands, she pushed her unfinished matcha into my hand. I turned to her with surprise, but she just said, “You can hold it for me.”

So I did, focusing on calming my hands so I wouldn’t drop the matcha.

She stayed three feet away from me at all times, and when we arrived at Namjoon’s car, she asked him, “Can I ride with all of you? Faeryn’s holding my drink.”

Jimin turned, startled. “Why is she holding your drink? Do you like matcha now, honey?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Kenley said simply. “But she is holding it.” She awaited Namjoon’s response.

Namjoon noted my shaking hands, my firm grip of the matcha, and how it was helping me redirect my anxiety into focus. “Yes, you can ride with us.”

She sat beside me in the car and watched the scenery pass as my hands slowly lost their tremor. After ten minutes of my men giving me time to quietly digest the meeting, keeping the radio and their conversation low, I gave Kenley’s drink back to her.

She twisted her lips to the side. “You don’t need it anymore?”

“I don’t need it,” I confirmed quietly, showing a strained smile. “Thank you.”

“It’s just a cup of matcha.” She took a sip.

“Thank you for the matcha.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sitting up straighter, I addressed my men, “I’m okay. I was just processing. I still am. But I’m okay, so don’t worry.”

Jin caressed my inner thigh, squeezing and keeping me close. “We know.”

“Can we go home now?”

“We’ll take you anywhere you want,” he responded firmly.

Namjoon attested, “We’re going home.”

“Thank you, and…can we get ice cream?”

His smile appeared, handsome and kind. “I would love ice cream.”

Jimin added, “I was just thinking how nice ice cream would be.”

“Oh, really?” I nodded a few times. “Let’s get ice cream then, and everyone will let me pay.”

“Um, yes,” Kenley said, pleasantly surprised. “That’s very nice, Faeryn. Thank you.” She paused. “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Is it chocolate since you like chocolate scones?”

“Neapolitan.” I hugged Jin’s arm for comfort. “Do you like ice cream?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Pistachio.”

“Mm…does it taste like matcha?” I wondered.

“Do you think it tastes like matcha because it’s green?”

“Oh, I…” I blushed. “Maybe.”

She started to smile. “You are very strange, Faeryn. It doesn’t taste like matcha just because it’s green.”

“Hey,” Jimin said sharply. “Watch what you say to her.”

Kenley jolted with surprise.

I cut in quickly, “Strange is a good thing. She wasn’t insulting me, okay? It’s okay, Jimin, really.”

He paused, recalling her previous explanation about this, then dipped his chin in apology. “I thought you were insulting her, Kenley. I misunderstood; that’s my fault.”

“Um…yes.” Kenley glanced at me, then at him. “Strange can mean many things. It can mean whatever I want it to mean at the moment, and right now, it means funny.”

“I can see that now.”

Kenley returned to watching the passing scenery. “I will have pistachio ice cream, and you can taste it. If you want to. Faeryn.”

“Thanks,” I said gratefully, preening as Jin began a firm massage on the back of my neck. “You can taste mine too.”

“No, thank you.” She leaned her head against the window and released a quiet sigh. “It is so beautiful outside today, even if we had a boring, difficult talk about court. That’s uncomfortable.”

“Yeah.” I chewed my lip. “I wish I were feeling more like how outside looked.”

“Yes,” she said solemnly. “Me too.” She pivoted and caught sight of my slightly crestfallen features. “Um…” Her eyes flickered across my face. “But at least we’re getting ice cream, so that will make you feel better.”

“What about you?”

“Anything green is nice.”

I perked up slightly. “Even dinosaurs?”

“More like…matcha. And green tea. And pistachio ice cream.”

“Maybe you’ll like dinosaurs if you give them a try,” I bribed.

“No.”

“How do you know if you won’t try?”

“They’re large lizards.” She returned to looking outside with rapt attention, admiring things we passed. “I don’t care for large lizards.”

“Maybe you would,” I coaxed.

“No, thank you.”

“I’ll just like dinosaurs enough for both of us,” I decided.

“You already do. You’re very obsessed.”

“It’s my special interest,” I exclaimed more vigorously than I meant to, slightly embarrassed. “I mean…I really like dinosaurs.”

“It’s not a bad thing to be obsessed with dinosaurs.”

“Oh. Yeah,” I agreed, feeling a little better. “It’s not childish.”

“No. Jellycats aren’t childish either.” She muttered under her breath, “Ryker can eat shit for calling us childish. We are women, and we are competent. He is going to lose because of us, so he’ll have no choice but to see how competent we are.”

Pride filled me. “Yeah, because we’re in our revenge era.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

I looked behind us. “Where did the others go? Their car was right behind us.”

“Detour,” Jimin let me know. “They wanted to pick something up for dinner.”

“Oh, okay. But we’ll get them ice cream, right?”

“Their cones will melt,” he chuckled. “We’ll bring back store-bought ice cream and cones, so they don’t feel left out.”

“Should we just…go home for dinner and go back out for ice cream all together?” I pivoted to face Kenley. “Do you want to have dinner with us?”

“Um…” She looked at my men. “With them?”

“They’ll be nice,” I coaxed. “Right?”

They agreed.

“See?” I told her. “Nice.”

“Um…”

“We could make dinner together, and maybe we could eat dinner in the living room so we can watch TV.”

“I don’t like TV,” she reminded me.

“You don’t like strategy TV shows?’

“What?” Her eyes widened. “There are strategy TV shows?”

I grinned. “We can watch some with dinner and get ice cream after.”

“Well. That’s…” She nodded quickly. “Okay, I want to do that.”

I beamed. “Yes! It will be so fun. What do you want to make for dinner?”

“I don’t really have dinner. I have snacks.”

“I used to do that, too! With protein shakes, remember?”

She nodded.

I continued, “Now I have meals because Jin makes them so much, and now, it’s part of my schedule, so if I don’t have them, it’s not part of my schedule. But I still like appetizers best, so I eat a lot of them until they’re part of a meal. Do you want to do that? Do you like Chinese food? We could share!”

“What do you get?” she wondered, intrigued.

“Rice, broccoli, chicken, and veggies! They’re all in separate cartons except for the chicken and broccoli—they’re together.”

She pursed her lips. “Won’t you be hungry?”

“Mm, no. I don’t usually eat it all.”

“You should still try.” She eyed me conscientiously. “To stay healthy.”

“But I want to share. And I never finish it anyway, so since you’re not used to eating more food, you probably won’t eat much anyway, right? It’ll be okay!”

“You really want to do this,” she assessed. “Why?”

“I like sharing. It’s fun, right? Then we can taste the food together and talk about it—just like we did with the matcha.”

“Oh.” She nodded, warming up to the idea. “Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but I won’t eat much. I still want to watch the strategy shows. We will?”

“We will,” I agreed excitedly. “So we really will have dinner together?”

“Yes, I’ll try.”

“Yes!” I cheered, blushing when she just stared at me. “I’m just excited.”

She started to smile. “For dinner together?” I nodded sheepishly, and after a moment, she punched her fist in the air and said, “Woot.”

I giggled. “Woot?”

“It’s a word of excitement.”

Jimin tried in a light, teasing tone, “It’s supposed to relay the excitement you feel.”

She didn’t even look at him. “My tone doesn’t always match what I’m feeling. You know. Because I am Autistic.”

“I know. It was a joke.”

“Oh. Um. Ha…ha?”

Jungkook giggled. “Yeah, so funny, hyung. It was so funny that we all forgot to laugh.”

Jimin reached over and pinched his thigh, making Jungkook squeal with laughter.

Kenley crossed her arms as light laughter filled the air. “When will your other men arrive with the food?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Jimin, do you know?”

“It shouldn’t be long after we get home, honey,” he responded, giving Jungkook one more playful pinch before turning back around, still chuckling a bit.

“Okay, thanks for telling me!”

“Of course, baby. You don’t have to thank me for that.”

I blew him a kiss, and he blew me one back. I pretended to catch it and slip it into my pocket, and he smiled fondly. “Pretty girl,” he murmured, reaching back for my hand.

I squeezed his hand and smiled brightly at him. “Love you.”

He kissed the top of my hand. “I love you too.” Soothing his thumb over my knuckles, his smile remained. “We’ll have a good dinner, hm? Then go get some ice cream.”

I grinned. “Yeah! That’s really great.”

Kenley watched our interaction faintly, too involved with the scenery to care much. “That’s really great,” she echoed faintly, leaning her head against the window.

When I turned to her, she responded before I could ask, “I’m fine. Hungry and tired.”

“Okay, I just wanted to check.” I pushed out a thumbs-up. “Food will help.”

At home, we chose a strategy TV show to watch and set the table. The others arrived soon after, but Jaehyun, Lyric, and Cheverie went home.

“We can drop off Kenley when we’re done getting ice cream, right?” I asked.

“Of course we can, sweetheart.” Hoseok kissed my head on his way to the sink. “How’s your food?”

“Good!” I chirped, gesturing toward my plate. “Kenley and I are sharing.”

“That sounds like a nice idea,” he responded in his usual, kind tone. “Would you like your strawberry cup for your soda?”

I glanced at where Kenley was sipping soda from her drink without a straw. “Oh, well, I want to have it without my cup and straw today.”

He caught my gaze and clocked the reason for my decision immediately, but he didn’t question it. He just smiled. “I think I’ll use a straw today in your place, then. How does that sound?”

I grinned. “Fun.”

“Yeah? It’s fun, sweetheart?” He chuckled, grabbing a cup. “Straws are nice, not funny.”

“Silly straws are funny. You know, with the funny shapes.” I sighed contentedly. “Those are funny.”

“Do you like those?”

“Oh yes, I like them so much.”

“We’ll have to get some then, won’t we?” He hummed thoughtfully as he took the seat beside me. “Some silly straws for our silly girl.”

I beamed and accepted his kiss happily.

Kenley chewed her chicken. “This is very lovey dovey. Is this the norm for all of you? Even my soda isn’t as sweet as this.”

“Well, that’s because it has zero sugar in it,” I joked.

She cracked a smile. “That’s true.”

“We love each other,” Jungkook stated proudly. “So this is our normal.”

Kenley nodded curtly. “Very sickly sweet. Um, I mean that in a good way. Sick isn’t a bad thing in this case; it’s a part of my dictionary in a good way, just like strange is. It’s a compliment. Like…” She struggled to form her words, but we let her take her time patiently. She ended up mimicking something she must’ve heard before, “‘Wow, dude, that is so sick.’” She blushed, and her tone dipped with embarrassment. “Like that.”

I giggled. “Oh yeah. That is so sick, dude.”

“The sickest,” Jungkook chimed in.

Taehyung grinned. “Sick and gnarly.”

Kenley looked at us cautiously, and when she saw our smiles, she started to realize that we weren’t making fun of her; we were having fun right there with her. She began to relax. “Yeah, like…let’s go catch a wave, dude. It will be sick.”

Laughter trickled into the setting, and Kenley sat taller, showing a tentative, eager smile. “That is funny? It’s good?” she questioned. “I think I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings just now.”

I pushed out a thumbs-up, still giggling. “It was funny.”

“No feelings hurt here,” Taehyung agreed with me brightly.

Jungkook nodded into a big bite of food, too hungry not to eat even when he was still giggling. “Funny.”

Namjoon chuckled, patting Jungkook’s inner thigh fondly. “We like jokes here.”

“You didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings,” Hoseok kindly answered her question, and she relaxed tremendously. He smiled to further put her at ease, sealing his words with actions to prove his point. “Does anyone else have more jokes to share?”

Jungkook tried his hand at it, then Taehyung, and Yoongi surprised us all with a joke that left the entire table laughing for two minutes straight, even Kenley. Her laughter was sparse and rare, as if it was scared it would be harmed for appearing. She kept looking at me to make sure she hadn’t done anything to offend anyone, and I always gave her a big smile and a thumbs-up to let her know that she was doing great.

She showed a timid smile and nodded, eating our shared food and remaining quiet for most of the time. Although guarded, her smile slipped through multiple times during dinner. Toward the end of it, I could tell she was preparing herself to speak, and when she gathered the ammunition, she held her soda out to me. “Do you…want to cheers to our revenge era?”

I lit up tremendously and grabbed my soda eagerly, but during my excitement, my soda spilled—on her lap.

My eyes widened. “I’m so sorry! I got too excited, and it just—it spilled. It was just an accident, but I’ll clean it up, I promise. I’ll just—”

She broke me off with her hoarse laughter, looking down at the mess I created. “Faeryn, what did you do?”

“It was an accident,” I squeaked.

“Now I’m all wet.” But she was smiling so big.

“You’re not upset?”

“I like soda, but not this much.” She dabbed her skirt with a napkin. “My skirt was thirsty, I guess.”

I started to giggle, relieved.

“It’s better now,” she said decisively, still laughing a bit. “It’ll soak it up.”

I grinned. “Yeah. I can get you something else to wear, so don’t worry.”

“Okay. Let’s just hope that the ice cream doesn’t fall, too.”

“I’ll be more careful next time,” I said sheepishly. “I was just excited to cheers.”

While dabbing her skirt, she lifted her soda. “We can cheers, just not all over my skirt.”

With a giggle, I cheered my can with hers, smiling widely. “Cheers to our revenge era!”

She hid a smile during a sip of soda. “Cheers to our revenge era.”

My men looked pleased with the interaction and Kenley’s response to the soda spill.

After a successful and fun ice cream outing, I was ready for bed. With Kenley back at my apartment and my men at home with me, I removed my shoes at the door and shone a sleepy smile at Taehyung. He was nearly vibrating with excitement, and my attention was caught.

Curiously, I wondered, “What is it?”

His excitement appeared in a big grin. “We have something to show you.”

I looked at everyone, surprised. “You do?”

Namjoon chuckled. “We all pitched in, but Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi got everything set up.”

“Set up?” I questioned, confused. “Set what up?”

Taehyung waved me over and offered his hand. “Do you want to see?”

Claiming his hand, I nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, I want to see!”

He led me forward, and his grin never faltered. “Let’s all go see.”

Everyone agreed amicably, and up the stairs we went. Entering a room at the left end of the hall, a room used mostly for storage, Taehyung covered my eyes and led me inside.

“Ready?” he asked.

I giggled. “Ready!”

Once his hands fell away, I gasped. “Oh my gosh.”

The room had been transformed into a pink library, daintily decorated with books, pretty lace, a few love seats, and tea cups.

I covered my mouth. “What is this?”

“It’s for you.” Taehyung hugged me from behind, nestling his face against my neck. “We know you used to collect tea cups, and you used to have so many books and journals, so we wanted you to have this room and everything in it.” I heard his smile. “It’s all for you.”

Jungkook hurried forward and opened one of the bookshelf’s cabinets on the bottom, revealing numerous tea cups.

I gasped again. “Oh, oh! Can I see?”

“It’s for you,” Jungkook agreed excitedly. “You can see!”

I raced to him and examined each teacup and teapot, gliding my fingers over the smooth, cool surfaces with delight.

“They’re so pretty and perfect!” I exclaimed. “The textures are just the best!”

Pleased with my interaction, my men watched me fondly.

Yoongi told me, “We know what your safe textures are, so we ensured they all were safe for you. Everything in here belongs to your safe texture category.”

I gaped at them. “It really is?”

“Of course it is,” he murmured. “We want the best for you.”

I squealed, jumping up and down before racing to give everyone the biggest hug I could muster. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best surprise in the world!” I couldn’t stop giggling from sheer excitement, and I felt like I could burst with love for my men. “I love you so much!”

“We love you so much!” Jungkook giggled into our hug. “And you’re the best girlfriend in the world.”

“Best!”

“Best what?” everyone echoed.

“You’re the best!”