Chapter 1: The Beggining
Chapter Text
Regulus
"Sirius yo-you can't leave. You know she'll never let you come back," Regulus said.
"Well that's the point reg, I don't want to come back here. Ever. It's just...I can't take this anymore reg I feel like I'm drowning and the more I try to swim to the top the more I sink. I'm sorry."
'What about me," Regulus whispered. "What will I do all alone here."
"I'll come back for you I promise Reg don't forget it and anyway I'll see you at hogwarts yeah? Like normal it'll be as if nothing changed," Sirius made a small smile.
"Yeah, alright." Regulus sighed, "I-I'll see you soon. But don't forget about me alright?"
"Never, promise."
***
Regulus thinks of that day often. That day was the last time he saw his brother before going to hogwarts for his 4th year. And in the year that followed Sirius did not come back to the Black house and he did not speak to Regulus. Sirius broke his promise.
There was a small part if him that hoped that Sirius would and that he would return to the house they grew up in and leave with Regulus. But Regulus knew that wasn't going to happen.
Instead he tried to forget about Sirius and that promise they made about a year ago but it still lingered in the back of Regulus's mind, and he wished it wouldn't. He wished he could just focus on the train journey to hogwarts and to his friends who were in the carriage with him. "Regulus, oi Regulus!" Someone said, probably Evan, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, um, what were you saying?"
"I was saying that don't you think Barty's obsession with dandelions childish."
"I think both of you are childish," He said with a deadpan expression.
"Guys, we're here!" Pandora exclaimed, "You three better keep out of trouble."
"Whatever do you mean, Dora?" Barty grinned.
"Hey, why me it's mostly Evan and Barty," He complained.
Pandora just smiled, and we all got up and started making our way out the train.
Chapter 2: Distractions Late at Night
Chapter Text
Regulus
It wasn't really a surprise for Regulus when he got sorted into slytherin. He'd always known he would be. Everyone in the Black family had been in slytherin, except Sirius, of course, but that was another matter.
He sat at the slytherin table with Barty, Evan, and Dorcas as Pandora was a Ravenclaw, but they liked to call her 'their honorary slytherin'. They had just finished lunch and were making their way back to the common room. They were almost there until someone bumped into him.
"Oh, sorry, Reg! Are you alright?" It was Sirius.
"What an unpleasant surprise. You should watch where you're going." Regulus replied.
"Don't be like that Reg we're brothers."
"Tu n'es pas mon frère, et arrête de m'appeler reg."
"Reg-Regulus s'il te plaît juste... parlons-en s'il te plaît."
"I have no interest in talking with you, Sirius. Now goodbye and watch where you're going next time."
I hurried away, desperate not to engage in any more convosation with him. He made it clear that he didn't want Regulus in his life, so he wasn't going to entertain him.
***
It was late at night now, and Regulus was just coming back from the room. He needed a better name for it but it was a very useful room. He'd stumbled upon it one day last year, and it was good to use to practice potions with no one interrupting him. Once again, he walked about the halls by himself and bumped into someone again. This was ridiculous.
"Sirius, I swear -"
"I'm sorry, are you ok? I honestly didn't look where I was going, sorry about that." The tall figure said with a sheepish grin in his face.
Oh
This wasn't Sirius. This wasn't just anyone. This was James Potter. James Potter of all the people he could've run into it had to be James Potter.
"Oh, of all the people I could've ran into, it had to be you Potter. I've already had my fair share of run-ins today. Sirius being one of them. Why is it I always have to see you two everywhere-" he stopped talking suddenly because he realised he was rambling. Dammit he didn't need this right now.
Notes:
French translations:
Tu n'es pas mon frère, et arrête de m'appeler reg -> you are no brother of mine and stop calling me reg.reg-regulus s'il te plaît juste... parlons-en s'il te plaît -> reg-regulus please just...lets just talk please.
Whoa another chapter done. I'll try do once a week updates
Chapter 3: To be a Marauder
Notes:
I was in a good mood and I decided to do a James chapter :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James
James Potter is a Marauder. And with being a Marauder comes popularity. And with popularity comes pressure, the pressure to be what everyone wants you to be. In truth, James doesn't know what he wants yet, but he does know that he doesn't want to be this flashy, arrogant guy. It's just not who he is. But of course only his friends know that.
Being a Marauder also comes with pulling pranks. Which is why he was in the boys' bathroom near the Slytherin common room. And also why he ran into Regulus Black.
Regulus was an interesting person, well James thought so anyway. Unfortunately, Regulus seemed to hate him. But James didn't think he really did. He also thought that he didn't really hate Sirius, but that was yet to be proven. Regulus was a very complicated person, and James wanted to understand him and become friends. He also wanted to help Sirius and Regulus reconnect, but Regulus made it clear every time that he wasn't interested in what James had to say.
"Sirius, I swear-" Regulus said.
"I'm sorry, are you ok? I honestly didn't look where I was going, sorry about that. Oh Regulus, what do I owe the pleasure two times in a row. Say, what could Regulus Black be doing late at night wandering the halls of Hogwarts?"
"Oh, of all the people I could've ran into, it had to be you potter. I've already had my fair share of run-ins today. Sirius being one of them. Why is it I always have to see you two everywhere-" he stopped talking suddenly.
"Why are you here now, Regulus?" James asked softly.
"I don't have to tell you anything."
"That's true. I'll tell you if you tell me. I'll go first. I'm here pulling a prank with Sirius, Remus, and Peter," James told him.
"Of course you are. Now I'm leaving before you get caught and take me down with you. Plus, my brother is never far away from you, and I have no interest in talking to him." Regulus replied.
"It might be good to talk to him, you know."
"No thanks. Goodbye, Potter, and if I get caught up in this prank of yours, I'll find you and hex you."
"So mean." He sighed, "Don't go to the boys' bathrooms on the 7th floor tomorrow morning. Anyway, see you around baby black."
"Don't call me that." Regulus called back as he walked away.
If only he and Sirius would get along, he thought.
"Oi prongs!" It was Sirius.
He turned around to look at him, "Padfoot ... uh, what's up?"
"Come in, we've got to get going. Otherwise, filch'll catch us!" He whispered frantically.
"Right...wait, where's the map?" James asked.
"Moony and Wormtail have it, and they left already. Come on, we've gotta go!"
They hurried back to the Gryffindor common room and went up to their dorm. As they were coming in, they heard Remus and Peter arguing.
"We never should have left them! They've probably got a detention, or something worse happened!" Remus raised his voice.
"Well, what if they caught us too! You wouldn't be all happy then would you!" Peter cried indignantly.
"It would've been fine! We had the map, and no one would have caught us!" Remus was almost shouting now.
"Remus, they'll be fine! Even if they detention isn't that big of a deal. What's the worst that can happen!?"
"WELL, DO YOU WANT ME TO GO THROUGH THE LIST OF POSSIBLE SCENARIOS? BECAUSE I CAN NAME MANY PETER. THIS WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T GOT SO SCARED AND RAN OFF!"
"WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME! Honestly, Remus, sometimes you're so-"
James had had enough of their fighting, "Hey. HEY! Guys, it's fine. we're right here, and we didn't get caught. Everything is alright."
"WHAT PETER I'M SO WHAT?!"
"I- nothing, Remus. Forget I said anything. Sorry," Peter mumbled.
"I still want to know what you were going to say," Remus replied.
"Moony, it's alright, let it go me and Sirius is fine."
"Fine. Well, it's good you're both safe. Are you sure you're ok, Padfoot?"
"Yeah, Moony, I'm fine, we're both fine, don't worry."
"Ok then, um... sorry Pete, I shouldn't have shouted at you it wasn't your fault. I was stupid."
"It's fine, Remus. I know you were just worried because of-"
"Anyway, we all should probably get some rest for tomorrow. The prank will be in full swing." Remus interrupted Peter and gave him a look to say shut up. It did the job, and Peter promptly shut up. But James still wondered what he was going to say but didn't push it.
"Yeah, g'night." Sirius said as he climbed into bed.
James nodded and did the same. He had a dreamless sleep that night.
Notes:
Did you see there was a hint wolfstar in there too? James and Sirius are just so oblivious it's hilarious, and surprisingly Peter knows something. Hmm I wonder what that could be?
Anyway thanks yall for reading and I'll be back soon for another chapter!
Chapter 4: Books and Pranks
Notes:
I've been so tired this chapter was a challenge I kept delaying writing it. Anyway here you go. Hope you like it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus was right to listen to Potter because within the next 24hrs of their accidental meeting, the boys' bathrooms near the Slytherin common room mirrors were cursed and shouting insults at anyone who went inside. Regulus was thankful for once. He didn't feel like getting shouted at today.
Regulus was just on his way to study at the library as he had a free day.
"Hey, Regulus!" It was Barty.
"Hi Barty, having fun with those screaming mirrors?" He smirked.
"Oh, you knew about those, didn't you? How come you didn't tell me?"
"You were already sleeping. There was nothing else I could do."
Barty sighed, and they both continued walking to the library for a study for OWLs this year. He knows its early, but his mother won't rest until he gets outstandings in almost everything. He was particularly gifted at most classes. So he decided to just study some charms.
When he and Barty reached the library, he saw evan and abandoned him. Oh, well. He'd just study on his own. Unfortunately, as he was looking through some books, James Potter decided he would sit next him and whenever he moved, Potter just sat back next to him. He sighed. This was going to be a long day.
"Regulus, hey! what's up?"
"Potter." He nodded curtly.
"I take it you listened to my advice yesterday." He said. Regulus nodded. "So how are you?"
"Why do you keep talking to me like we're friends? I don't know you at all, and why would I want to be friends with you. You're arrogant, annoying, irresponsible, and selfish." He knew it was a bit harsh, but he needed Potter to know that he didn't want anything to do with him.
"Oh, you wound me." He said and dramatically put his hand on his chest. "And actually I would like to be friends with you."
"Oh, I bet. You already got my brother so you just have to get me to be friends with you as well don't you. You just have to have everything, don't you, Potter? Ugh."
"Whatever you want to think Regulus, I can't change that, but I want to be friends with you purely because you're cool and smart, and it has nothing to do with Sirius."
"Oh yeah?" He sneered, "What happens when Sirius finds out you're hanging out with me? Because in his eyes, I'm just the traitor little brother."
"Well, Sirius doesn't get to decide who I hang out with all the time. And I can assure you that he doesn't think of you as the traitor brother if anything he-"
"That's enough! Boys, this is a library. You are supposed to be quiet!" Madam Pince reprimanded.
"Sorry, Madame Pince," he mumbled and packed his stuff up quickly and left. It was not long after Regulus had left that Potter caught up with him.
"Hey Regulus, meet me at the Astronomy tower tomorrow night. Please, it'll be good, I promise."
"Bye, Potter," he said, walking away. This time, James Potter did not follow.
Notes:
More jegulus yay. I wonder if regulus will meet James in the astronomy tower? Hmm and what will happen there. Thanks for reading I'll be back soon.
Chapter 5: Bad Memories
Notes:
Well um...yeah so this chapter is a bit heavy.
Also sorry for my terrible spelling 😅🚨CWs/TWs for this chapter: abuse/panick attack/some dark thoughts/mention of SA (its not much but it will be mentioned later in the story) I think that's all.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus wasn't going to the astronomy tower. He wasn't. He wasn't walking down a hallway towards the astronomy tower. He wasn't walking up some stairs that led to the part of higwarts where the astronomy tower was. He wasn't going to meet James Potter.
He doesn't know why he decided to go and meet Potter at the Astronomy tower, but he is. Maybe it's because he was just curious about what he had to show him. Maybe it was because he wanted to go shout at him more and tell him to leave Regulus alone. Yeah, let's go with the latter. Yes, that's why Regulus black was out of his dorm in the middle of the night, risking detentions to meet James Potter. Regulus was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice anyone coming up from behind him.
He doesn't know how it happened. All he knows is that he was on the floor, knocked clean of his feet.
"Well, if it isn't little Regulus Black." He couldn't see who it was in the dark, but their voice was menacing. "Why are you out walking around in the middle of the night, hm?"
Regulus didn't reply. He didn't want to. He just wanted to lie down in his bed and sleep. The mysterious person kicked him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.
"I asked you a question, Regulus. And when I ask you something, you answer it, pet. Did you forget that?"
No.
No. No. No.
He couldn't be here. He needed to leave. There was only one person who called him pet, and that was Mulciber.
No. No. No.
This can't be happening. Not here. Not now. NO. Regulus couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.
Inhale.
He was 12 again. Alone with Mulciber.
Exhale.
He was back at home, and his mother was angry
Inhale
He'd broken a vase. She'd punished him with Crucio.
Exh-
"Pet. I asked you a question." Regulus could see his face now. He was sneering. He was angry. He raised his wand to cast a spell. "Maybe I should teach you a lesson, and next time you'll be more compliant."
This was just like at home with his mother. He was alone. He was about to be punished. Crucio, maybe. That was the spell mother liked best. Or lacero. She liked to use that, too. He would wait. Just wait for the pain. Sometimes, his mother got his cousin to do it. Bellatrix. She did it happily. She would toy with him. Make him wait. She would cackle a loud, high-pitched laugh at him writhing in pain. She was a sadistic maniac. It was unbearable.
Regulus was alone.
In the dark, waiting for the pain to hit.
No one would be around to help.
Maybe he deserved this.
Maybe it was meant to be like this.
Maybe this was just how his fucked up life was supposed to go.
Just as Mulciber was about to curse him someone else came. A tall figure. Regulus couldn't quite make out his face. He punched Mulciber and took out his wand.
"What are you going to do potter. Hex me and I'll tell Professor Slughorn."
Potter? James?
That's right, he was meant to meet Potter tonight but he never made it.
"Leave Mulciber. Or I will hex you. I don't care about detentions." He spat at Mulciber.
"Always have to be the hero don't you Potter. Don't you know not to meddle in places that don't concern you."
"Last warning Mulciber."
"Ugh fine I'll go. He was no fun anyway."
Inhale.
James potter was here.
Exhale.
James potter made him go away.
Inhale.
James potter shouldn't be here.
Exhale.
He just feels pity for you.
"Hey. HEY! Are you alri- wait regulus!?" Regulus saw a small smile appear on his face when he knew it was him. Ugh.
Regulus didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He tried to breathe but it was as if he didn't know how.
"Hey it's ok. Inhale. Come on. 1, 2, 3. Exhale. 1, 2, 3."
He was warm, and calm. He felt safe. He could breathe again.
No. This was just pity. James potter has a hero complex. He felt he needed to save him. That was all. Stupid Potter. Annoying Potter.
"Can you stand?" James asked. Bringing Regulus back. He was closer now and he could see concern all over his face.
"I'm fine potter. Go back to your common room."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes potter I'm sure. You saved me, well done. My night in shining armour. What else do you want?" He said exasperated. He didn't even want for him to answer. He hurried back round the castle to the slytherin dorms.
When he got back Barty and Evan were still asleep, so he crept into bed and closed his eyes. Ugh Potter, he couldnt get to sleep now. Why was he so intent on showing up his life now. Why now? He had no interest in him before. Why?
Notes:
Regulus we know fully well that you intended to go to the astronomy tower you cannot say you weren't
I feel so bad for reggie, he deserves the world and so much more. And ofc we love our James helping Reg even tho reg doesn't want to admit that he needed help
Get ready for some more fights and more angst. Sorry not sorry. No kissing yet.....
Thanks for reading! :)
Chapter 6: To be or not to be a Hero?
Chapter Text
James
James lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t go to sleep, not yet. He was playing the night's events in his head. He honestly couldn't believe it.
1 hour earlier
He was waiting in the astronomy tower for Regulus, and James was starting to think he wasn't going to show. He hoped he did, though. He wanted to talk to Regulus and get to know him. And try to rekindle the brotherly bond between him and Sirius. He knows he shouldn't meddle, but he really thinks it would be good for the both of them. They need each other.
So here James was, sitting in the astronomy tower looking at the stars waiting for a person he didn't even know would come. He sighed. Maybe this was a mistake. Regulus had made it clear that he didn't like him....but he had to try.
Suddenly, he heard some ruckus going on down the stairs. What was happening? He had to go see what was going on.
He barrelled down the stairs. When he got there, he saw a big guy towering over someone on the floor. Who else would be up now?
"Pet, come on," the voice growled. The figure raised his wand when the person on the floor didn't answer.
That was enough. James' legs moved on their own. His fist was raised, and he collided with the big guy. He quickly took out his wand.
"ARGH! Potter! Why are you here," James recognised that voice. It was Mulciber's voice. Why was Mulciber out of bed now?
"Mulciber, leave. Now."
"What are you gonna do, potter? If you try and hex me, I'll tell Slughorn," He threatened.
"I don't care about some stupid detentions. You. Need. To. Leave. Now. Before I do something, I regret," He snarled.
"Stupid Potter. You and your hero complex always have to turn up in places you're not wanted."
"Mulciber!" He raised his voice a bit. "Leave now!"
"Ugh, fine. He wasn’t fun anyway."
James' blood was boiling now. How could he talk about a person that way? Filthy git. He thought. The person on the floor sniffed, and James went over to them.
"Hey, are you alri- wait Regulus?!" He said incredulously. Regulus was here. James smiled to himself. He was coming to the astronomy tower that night. But that didn't matter now. He had to focus.
"Hey. Hey! It's ok reg. Inhale. 1, 2, 3. Exhale. 1, 2, 3. Are you ok?"
Regulus snapped out of his daze. "Yes. Yes potter what ever I'm fine."
"Can you stand?" He asked.
"Yes,” He snapped. "I'm fine. Go back to your common room."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, potter. I'm sure. Well done, you're my knight in shining armour. You're the hero. Wow, what a surprise. What more do you want?" Before he could say anything else, Regulus hurried off, leaving James alone.
James then trudged back to his dorm, thankfully eveyone was still asleep, so he slipped into bed quietly.
Eventually, he fell asleep, but all he could think about was Regulus.
Notes:
Well that chapter was extra short...but i thought it would've been good to see James's perspective.
Omgg Jamesss falling asleep thinking about Reggie. SIR. Is he catching feels? Or is he just worried about him after that night?
And obviously we hate Mulciber. Especially for what he did to Reggie. (But this won't be the last you see of him tormenting people. Sorry about that but it needs to happen)
Chapter 7: Don't Kiss and Tell: Sirius interlude
Notes:
Enter Sirius!
It's been a minute since I posted so we're back with another chapter. I might be able to get another chapter posted over the next couple days but I'm just editing it.
🚨Cw/TWs: Walburga Black/abuse/um drinking? (Not really that much)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sirius
Sirius Black was an idiot. He was also afraid, afraid of many things. And now he's messed up and doesn't know what to do. Things are weird now, awkward, and he just wants them to go back to the way they were. It's all because of what happened on Moony's birthday. He sighed.
2 weeks ago, Remus' Birthday
They were all having a good time. Well mostly. Sirius was up in their dorm while the party was down stairs. He didn't really know why he was sulking anymore; it was something about Mary.
He liked Mary. He did, but recently he started thinking that maybe he only liked her as a friend. Just a friend, a close friend. Does that mean he should break up with her? Does he want to break up with her? When? That was the question. If he was going to break up with Mary, when should he do it?
"Sssiriusss why are you up here it'sss Moony'sss Birthday party?!" He slurred.
Sirius didn't feel like talking so he just grunted in response.
"Come onnn. I know you and Mary are fighting but can you but that all aside for tonight? Pleassse."
"Yeah. I guess I've been pretty stupid haven't I?"
"Alwaysss." James laughs. "Come on letsss go."
James leads the way and they go down the stairs.
"Moony, hi. Look who decided to come downstairs now."
Sirius smiled. It wasn't his usual lively smile, but it was a smile. Remus stayed silent and smiled back.
"Padfoot let'sss go down, you'll feel better after you've had a drink."
"Yeah one second I just want to speak to Moony real quick."
James looks at Remus, slightly concerned but left anyway. Sirius waited till he thought he was out of earshot.
"Happy Birthday Remus. Sorry I've been y'know..." He trailed off.
"Thanks Sirius, and it's fine really. I'm glad you decided to come down." His tone was slightly guarded, unsure what else to say.
"Have...you done presents yet?"
"Uh no. We're probably gonna do them tomorrow now cus everyone will be so tired and very, very drunk." Remus smiled, it was a genuine smile. I wish you smiled like that all the time, he thought.
"Right..."
"You'd better go down there soon otherwise James will wonder what's taking you so long."
"I will...just..." He inched closer.
"Sirius?"
"I'm sorry. Today should've been about you." It was barely a whisper. "Remus..."
Then Remus' lips were on his. They were soft and Sirius kissed him back. The kiss grew hungrier, and Remus slid his tongue into Sirius' mouth. He groaned into Remus' mouth. He hadn't realised that he'd wanted this for so long, but then why did it feel so wrong? His hands slid up Remus' back and-
YOU ARE TAINTED!
CRUCIO!
I MUST PURIFY YOU!
CRUCIO!
YOU MUST BE PURE!
YOU MUST BE NOBLE LIKE YOUR BLOOD!
This is wrong, he thought, you're with Mary, you like Mary. You like girls. He backed away from Remus. His breath was shallow and he fixed his hair and shirt.
"I'm gonna go downstairs... uh... happy birthday again." He quickly ran down the stairs so Remus didn't have a chance to reply.
He wasn't proud of it but he needed to clear his head. Mary. That's right, he had a lovely girlfriend waiting for him to apologise. A girlfriend he liked a lot, so why did he feel the urge to go back up those stairs and find Remus? He wanted to but he didn't. He stayed in the common room and sought out Mary.
"Well it's about time Black. Got anything to say?"
"Sorry." He croaked, he doesn't know what else to do and tries to do that Sirius Black grin that charms everyone. And it works because then Mary is kissing him, and he's kissing her back, but all he can think about is the look on Remus' face when he ran away.
Notes:
Siriusly get it together Sirius. Lol.
I love Wolfstar so im super excited to write/post the other chapters about them.
Also this chapter was kinda based of the MsKingBean89 chapter in 'All the Young Dudes' if you haven't read it you should it's amazing.
I feel like we've been all kinda lovey dovey so far, so I'm working on a few chapters just about school life and maybe some Marauder pranks and Regulus' friends. It's all about the build up so then when something good happens it's worth the wait yk?
Are we going a bit fast? I kinda feel like it. Maybe that's just cause I'm not starting from first year? Anyways there will be a few different povs coming up.
Chapter 8: Lily Knows Best: Lily interlude
Summary:
Welcome to the wonderful world of Lily Evans and her great advice!
Notes:
I present to you Lily Evans.
I feel like we haven't had much about the girls yet soooo you get Lily yay!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily
Lily Evans was a witch, a muggleborn witch at that. It came as a surprise to her family when a letter attached to an owl arrived at their doorstep. Lily wasn't that surprised, though. For a while, she'd noticed that there was something different about her. She could bloom flowers in her hand in a second or float things to and from places.
She also had a sister, but Petunia wasn't as welcoming as her parents were. She was often mean and made it clear that she disliked Lily. Lily still wanted to try and be sisters with her, though. They were actually close before, but unfortunately, as soon as Lily got that letter, things changed. At least at hogwarts, she had some great friends. Mary and Marlene were great, and so were Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter.
Things weren't going too badly, well, until about a few months ago. Or things happened for the better. She thinks that everything has been great since that day. Since the day Severus Snape called her a mudblood. What a foul word it is. She'd thought Severus was her friend, but clearly not. He was just like most of the Slytherins. She agreed that what James did was not the kindest, but she supposed he had a good reason, and now they were friends. Just friends.
For a while, Lily thought she might have liked him. That wasn't the case anymore, though. She saw him as merely a brother now, and she thinks that's fine.
Mary, though... Mary was quite pretty. But they were friends (she also thought Mary was very straight, so that won't happen). Sexuality was a difficult thing. Marlene was a lesbian. She even had a girlfriend, though she wouldn't tell them who it was. She was pretty sure Remus and Sirius liked each other, but both of them were so oblivious to each other's feelings. Then there was James. He had been acting a little strange recently, and Lily was going to ask him about it.
She found James in the courtyard, and surprisingly, he was on his own.
"James!" She shouted, and he looked up.
"What's up Evans?"
"I think we're far past the point of you calling me Evans. It's Lily."
"Alright, Lily, what did I do to be graced with your presence?" He asked.
"Well... I was... worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately."
His face darkened for a moment, only a moment. Otherwise, she would have missed it if she hadn't been looking at him. "Wow, Lily Evans is worried about me." He plastered a smile on his face, "I'm fine, Lily."
"It's just... I'm observant James, and I can see that something is bothering you. You may be able to smile, but it doesn't always reach your eyes."
"Lily what-"
"You may be able to laugh with us, but that doesn't mean that it's genuine." She interrupted him. "What I'm saying is that if you need to talk, I'm here, and I won't judge, promise."
His eyes widened, and he looked her right in the eye. "Thank you, Lily. I mean it, you're a good friend."
"If you ever need anything, you'll tell me, right?" She asked apprehensively.
"If I need a anything thing I'll come to you first, yeah."
"Alright. Want to come find the others with me?"
"Yeah, let's go." He looped his arm through hers and smiled, a genuinely happy smile. Lily let out a deep breath. It seemed everything was good, and she hoped James took what she said to heart.
Notes:
Well done Lily Evans, giving great advice as always. Go her!
Jamie you seem to be having a hard time, what's going on inside that head of yours?
Dw we'll get back to regulus soon... yall can enjoy the snippets from everyone else's lives :)
Chapter 9: Dates and Complaints: Dorcas interlude
Summary:
Sorry for not posting for ages school started back up and it's super draining, I didn't get much sleep last night lol. 😅
Chapter Text
Notes:
Wowww dorleneee yesss!
Spanish translations:
Eres especial -> you are special
Creo que nunca he sido más feliz. Gracias.-> I don't think I've ever been happier. Thank you.And yes Marlene can speak Spanish in this fic (so can James if ykyk)
Reg complaining about James is just amazing.
Thanks for reading and pls leave comments I would love to hear yalls ideas and your thoughts on the story so far.
Thxx for reading! :)
Chapter 10: A Meeting in the Dark
Summary:
Decisions and a meeting.
Notes:
It's been far too long sorry about that. I'll try update more.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
He hates James Potter, really. He hates his smug face, he hates how kind he is, and he hates how nice his smile is. Most of all, he hates the fact that James stole his brother away from him. Sometimes, Regulus wonders if there is a thin line between love and hate. Perhaps… perhaps not. It doesn’t matter. Nothing does.
Soon, his mother will make him get the Dark Mark, and then things will start to get real. He’ll have to fight his brother. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want any of this. All he wants is for things to go back to the way they were before. Before all the chaos. Before all the fighting. He sighed. It’s too late for that now, he thought.
He supposed he could try to reconcile with his brother. He supposed he could try to get him to help, but he doesn’t know how Sirius feels about him now. Sirius might hate him. After all, Regulus wasn’t very nice to him most of the time. But he couldn’t let his mother find out that he was “buddy-buddy” with his so-called “blood traitor” brother. He still had to live in that house, and making Walburga Black angry wasn’t something one should do intentionally.
But maybe… maybe there was one person who could help him. Help him with Sirius, at least. Should he? Could he even approach him after everything? It would be embarrassing. No, Regulus couldn’t do it. Could he?
After a long time debating, Regulus decided to be brave. Be brave for once. Do something his parents would hate. Be a bit like Sirius, to get closer to Sirius.
So, it was 10 p.m. at Hogwarts, and Regulus was looking for James Potter. Of all people, James was probably the best option. He had been searching for 20 minutes before he found him.
“Well, Regulus, we’ve got to stop meeting like this,” James said.
“James. I hate to ask this, but—”
“One sec.” James pulled out a piece of parchment, muttered some words, and put it back in his pocket. “Well, if you want to talk, let’s go somewhere private, shall we?”
“All right.” Regulus followed James to the room.
“You know about this place?”
“Yes? Am I not supposed to? Is it a secret or something?” James asked.
“No, I just didn’t think anyone besides me knew it existed. Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier. I hate to ask this, but I need your help, Potter.”
“My help? Whatever could you need me for, Regulus?” James smirked.
“It’s about Sirius. And me, actually. Things at home are getting… tense, let’s say, and I want a backup plan in case things go wrong.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but that didn’t matter at this moment.
“In case what goes wrong?”
“In case I need a place to run. I’m pretty sure Sirius hates me, and I need to know if he does or not.”
“And the best solution was asking me?
Why don’t you ask him yourself?” James asked.
“Stop asking so many questions and just help me.”
“What are the magic words?” James said in a sing-song voice.
“I’ll hex you.”
“All right, fine, I’ll help you. Just so you know, I would’ve helped you anyway, Regulus.”
“Why? You don’t owe me anything.”
“I personally would like you and Sirius to reconnect. If this is how I do it, then I’ll happily help you, Regulus.”
“Oh. Well, thanks, then,” Regulus replied.
“So, we’ll meet in two weeks? Same place?”
“What?” he asked.
“Well, if I need to tell you about Sirius, I need to see you again, don’t I?” James said.
“Right. How is Sirius?” Regulus knew he shouldn’t ask, but he couldn’t help himself.
“He’s good. I’m sure he would like to hear from you, though.”
“Not yet, James. Not yet. I should go. See you in two weeks.”
“Not if I keep finding you wandering around!” James called after him.
"Vous êtes certainement quelque chose. Parfois, j’aimerais que tu sois à moi...see you around James."
“Bye, Baby Black.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
They left the room together and parted ways, going in opposite directions. Regulus hoped his mother wouldn’t find out about this.
Notes:
Vous êtes certainement quelque chose. Parfois, j’aimerais que tu sois à moi... -> you definitely are something. Sometimes I wish you were mine...
So they meet again! Literally Reggie would do anything for Sirius. Exciting stuff coming next!
Chapter 11: The End of the Beginning
Summary:
Time, flies, by, they all sang along...
Is it the end of the beggining? Yes, yes it is.
Its more meetings and a letter...
I think that the chapter after next will be a Christmas one because Christmas is coming up, but I could be lying... we'll see. Enjoy this chapter!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
12 days left
Regulus sat in the Slytherin common room, staring at the fireplace as the embers crackled softly. Around him, students whispered about exams, Quidditch, and the latest rumors. None of it mattered to him. All he could think about was his upcoming meeting with James Potter.
The thought made his stomach churn. He had already broken so many of his mother’s unspoken rules. Talking to James was bad enough, but asking for his help? That was disloyalty. And that was one of the things his mother hated the most .
Regulus pulled out a blank piece of parchment and started to write. It wasn’t a letter to Sirius—he wasn’t ready for that. Instead, he wrote down everything he hated about James Potter. His stupid hair.
His smug grin. The way he talked to everyone so freely. His kindness.
Regulus paused, his quill hovering over the parchment. Why did that last one bother him so much? It was easier to hate someone when they weren’t good. When they didn’t care.
He crumpled the parchment and threw it into the fire.
7 days left
The letter came during breakfast. A crisp, formal-looking envelope with the Black family crest pressed into the wax seal. Regulus didn’t have to open it to know what it said. It’s time. Two words. Two words that changed everything.
He slipped the letter into his pocket and glanced across the Great Hall. Gryffindors were laughing loudly at their table. His eyes found Sirius almost instantly. His brother was animated, gesturing wildly as he talked about something, and beside him sat James, looking equally amused.
Regulus looked away quickly, anger bubbling in his chest. He hated how easy it seemed for Sirius. Sirius had abandoned them—abandoned him. Yet there he was, living his best life. He clenched his fists under the table. He didn’t have time for this.
That night, Regulus sat by the window of the Astronomy Tower, staring at the stars. He thought of the name his parents had given him. The brightest star in the constellation.You’re supposed to shine, his mother always said. Don’t let anyone dull you.
But all he felt was shadow.
3 days left
Regulus stood in front of the mirror in his dormitory, staring at his reflection. He traced the faint dark circles under his eyes, the sharpness of his cheekbones, the tightness in his jaw.
“Get it together,” he whispered to himself.
He knew what he had to do, but the thought of facing James again made his chest tighten. Would James keep his word? Would he help, or would he laugh in his face and run to Sirius with everything?
A knock on the door broke his thoughts. Barty Crouch Jr. leaned casually against the doorframe.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” Barty said, his voice light but probing.
“Just tired.”
“You? Tired?” Barty smirked. “You’re a Black. You don’t get tired.”
Regulus forced a smile. “Even stars burn out eventually.”
Barty studied him for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, if you’re up for it, we’re planning something big for the Gryffindors. Let me know.”
As Barty left, Regulus' smile vanished. He couldn’t afford distractions. Not now, especially not now.
2 hours left
Regulus paced back and forth in an empty corridor, his heart pounding in his chest. He had left the Slytherin dormitory early, unable to sit still any longer. The Room of Requirement was just down the hall. James would be there soon, if he even showed up.
He ran through a dozen scenarios in his head. What if James had changed his mind? What if someone had seen them together and told Sirius? Or worse—what if his mother somehow knew?
He leaned against the cold stone wall and closed his eyes.You can do this. The sound of footsteps jolted him upright. James Potter rounded the corner, looking as carefree as ever, his hands stuffed into his pockets.
“Well, you decided to show. What a surprise.” James said with a smirk.
“Don’t call me that,” Regulus snapped automatically.
James held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Shall we?”
Regulus nodded, swallowing his nerves. Together, they walked to the Room of Requirement. As the door appeared and they stepped inside, Regulus felt a strange mix of dread and hope. This meeting. This meeting was the end of the beggining. He could feel it.
Notes:
Oh no we got the letter for the dark mark...
Things are about to get worse like way worse. Sorry? Nah its all worth it at the end
Next chapter is the meeting in more detail!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 12: It's the Start of Something New
Notes:
I finished skl for Christmas break so I'll be able to write more often yay.
Apologies for any grammar.And yes for anyone wondering the title is a lyric from that song from High School Musical (I think it is anyway).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The door to the Room of Requirement closed behind them with a soft click. Regulus lingered near the entrance, his arms crossed, while James dropped into an armchair in the middle of the room. The space was quiet, lit by a soft golden glow, with shelves of books and a fireplace crackling warmly.
“Well,” James said, breaking the silence. “This is unexpected. What’s on your mind, little Reggie?”
“Don’t call me that,” Regulus snapped, his voice sharper than he intended. He immediately regretted it—antagonizing James wouldn’t help him.
“Alright, alright,” James said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “So you asked to meet me again and here I am. What's up?"
Regulus hesitated, his fingers gripping the edge of his sleeve. He hadn’t planned this far. The truth was tangled in his throat, and the last thing he wanted was for James Potter to see just how lost he was. “It’s about Sirius,” he said finally, his voice stiff.
James tilted his head, his expression shifting from playful to curious. “What about him?”
Regulus stared into the fireplace, the flickering flames reflected in his eyes. “How is he?”
James blinked, clearly surprised. “How is he? He’s… he’s alright, I guess. Well, as alright as anyone can be with the war and all...”
The war. The words hung in the air, heavy and foreboding. Regulus felt his chest tighten, but he forced himself to focus. “He doesn’t… Does he ever talk about me?”
James leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Sometimes,” he said carefully. “Not often, but when he does…” He paused, studying Regulus. “It’s clear he still cares about you.”
Regulus scoffed, though the sound lacked conviction. “Cares about me? He hasn’t spoken to me in years. He hasn't given me a single thought since he left. He didn't need to because he was all caught up in being with his new brother, you, James.”
James winced. “He thinks about you more than you realize. And I'm not trying to replace you Regulus. But Sirius is stubborn, you know that. He’s probably waiting for you to make the first move.”
Regulus shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” James pressed.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Regulus muttered.
“Try me,” James said, his tone gentler now.
Regulus hesitated. He wanted to explain, to make James understand how deeply tangled he was in his family’s web. But he couldn’t. Not fully. Not without giving too much away.
“It’s… complicated,” he said finally. “My family-” He stopped, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t get it.”
James sat back, his gaze steady. “You’re right. I don’t get it. But Sirius has told me things. My family’s not perfect, but they’ve always been on the right side of things. I’ve never had to make the kinds of choices you have. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help.”
Regulus’ hands clenched into fists. “I didn’t come here to be pitied, Potter.”
“I’m not pitying you,” James said calmly. “I’m just saying… you don’t have to handle this alone.”
Regulus looked away, his jaw tightening. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing does. The war’s going to swallow us all eventually. We'll either die a hero or a villain, or live long enough to watch everything we love crumble and be traumatised.”
James frowned. “You don’t really believe that, do you?" Regulus didn't answer, he couldn't.
"Things will get messy but there's always a way out.” James continued.
"One day potter you'll see how wrong you are." Regulus hissed, "you think there's always a way out? There's not and key me tell you why. If there was a way out I wouldn't still be in that stupid house, I'd be with Sirius!"
“I- I didnt know you felt that way,” James said, stunned. "Look, you’ve got options, Regulus. More than you think. Sirius, for one—he’d help you if you let him.”
“And what if I don’t want his help?” Regulus snapped. “I don’t want to drag him into this.”
James raised an eyebrow. “You don’t give Sirius enough credit. He’s not exactly easy to ‘drag’ into anything.”
Regulus almost smiled at that, but the weight in his chest kept it at bay. “He doesn’t need more reasons to hate me.”
James sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “He doesn’t hate you, Regulus. He’s angry, sure, but that’s not the same thing. He’s just… waiting for you to show him you’re not the person he thinks you are.”
"Maybe I am the person he thinks I am. Maybe he's not the person I thought he was." Regulus replied.
"You never know until you try."
Regulus fell silent, his thoughts churning. He wanted to believe James, but it felt impossible. Sirius had always been so confident, so sure of himself. Regulus had spent his life trying to fit into a mold that was slowly suffocating him. How could Sirius ever understand that?
“Hey,” James said, breaking the silence. “You don’t have to figure this out all at once. But if you want my advice? Talk to Sirius. He might surprise you.”
Regulus glanced at him, his expression guarded. “And if I don’t?”
“Then you keep bottling everything up until it explodes,” James said bluntly. “Trust me, that’s not a great plan.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
James grinned. “I try.” He stood, brushing imaginary dust off his robes. “So? Are we meeting again in two weeks, or is this a one-time thing?”
Regulus hesitated, then nodded. “Two weeks. Same place.”
“Good. I’ll see what I can do about Sirius in the meantime,” James said, heading for the door.
Regulus’s voice stopped him just as he reached it. “Potter.” James turned, raising an eyebrow. “Thank you. Je ne sais pas ce que j'aurais fait si tu n'étais pas venu” Regulus said quietly.
James smiled, a genuine, uncharacteristically soft expression. “You’re welcome, Regulus.” He probably didn't know what else he said but it didn't matter, not really.
As the door closed behind him, Regulus stayed behind, staring into the flames. He didn’t know if he could fix things with Sirius. He didn’t even know if he deserved to. But for the first time, he felt like maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t completely alone in trying. For now all was well. For now.
Notes:
For now all was well. For now. I'm sorry but y'all know it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
Je ne sais pas ce que j'aurais fait si tu n'étais pas venu -> I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along.James is just an angel, like honestly, you have no reason to help Regulus but he us anyway aw.
Will Regulus speak to Sirius? If he does he'll have to make sure he doesn't get caught...
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 13: A Countdown
Notes:
As I said I finished skl for the holidays and I have wayyy too much time on my hands sooo I may have gone and written loads more chapters
I did lie about this chapter before but I promise next chapter is the night before Christmas one!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
11 Days left
Regulus stared at the spot where James had stood only minutes ago, the lingering warmth of the fireplace doing little to dispel the cold knot in his chest.
He doesn’t hate you, Regulus. He’s waiting for you.
James’s words echoed in his mind, but they didn’t bring the comfort they were meant to. If anything, they felt like a challenge—a dare to test the fragile bridge between himself and Sirius. But could he? Did he even want to?
With a sigh, he left the Room of Requirement, his footsteps echoing softly in the empty corridor. The castle was unnervingly quiet at this hour, and Regulus kept his head low, avoiding the portraits’ curious gazes.
7 Days left
The letter arrived in the evening, delivered by the family owl. Regulus recognized his mother’s precise handwriting before he even broke the seal.
Regulus,
You’ve been quiet in your letters. I trust that you are keeping to the standards expected of you. Your father and I expect you home for the christmas holiday. Your work with the family will soon begin in earnest, and there is much to prepare.
Do not disappoint me.
The letter ended abruptly, as they always did, but the weight of it pressed against his chest. He folded the parchment carefully and tucked it into his pocket, his fingers trembling slightly. He didn’t want to go home.
4 days left
Regulus hadn’t meant to run into Sirius, but fate had other plans.
He turned a corner near the Astronomy Tower and found Sirius leaning against the stone wall, his arms crossed as he chatted with a Gryffindor girl. The sight of his brother, so carefree and unbothered, stopped Regulus in his tracks. He didn’t want to talk to him. He didn’t. But Sirius noticed him before he could turn away.
“Regulus,” Sirius said, his voice sharper than the cool night air.
The Gryffindor girl glanced between them, sensing the tension, and muttered something about leaving. Regulus stared at the ground, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as Sirius approached.
“What do you want?” Regulus asked, his tone clipped.
“Me?” Sirius’ lips curved into a humorless smile. “You’re the one creeping around corners like a spy.”
“I wasn’t—” Regulus stopped himself. “Never mind.”
Sirius crossed his arms, his grey eyes narrowing. “What's going on at home?”
“Nothing,” Regulus said quickly, too quickly.
“Bullshit.” Sirius stepped closer, forcing Regulus to meet his gaze. "What’s going on, Reg? Are you in trouble?”
Regulus tensed, his jaw tightening. “Just leave me alone, Sirius. You don't care about anything that's happening at home.”
“Talk to me Reg.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you!” Regulus snapped, his voice rising. The raw emotion in his words startled them both, and for a moment, neither of them moved.
Sirius’s blinked and said nothing for a moment. The took a step back. “Alright,” he said quietly. “Fine. See you around.”
Regulus didn’t respond. He waited until Sirius was gone before letting out a shaky breath. Why did I say that? He thought, why can't I just talk to him?
30 minutes left
The Room of Requirement felt heavier this time, as though it could sense the storm brewing inside him. Regulus paced near the fireplace, his thoughts a whirlwind of doubts and fears.
He was about to meet James again. James, who had been so insufferably kind, who had looked at him like he wasn’t just another Black, another pawn in the war.
Regulus stopped pacing, his hands clenching into fists. He didn’t know what he’d say tonight. He didn’t know if he even could say anything meaningful. But he’d promised himself he would try.
The door creaked open, and Regulus turned sharply. James walked in, grinning as usual, but his smile faltered slightly when he saw Regulus.
“You alright?” James asked, closing the door behind him.
Regulus hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine." But he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up the lie.
Notes:
Seeing Sirius again...that did not end well. Too much pressure on Regulus :(
And if you don't celebrate Christmas happy holidays!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 14: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
“’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…”
The words echoed in Regulus’ mind as he say down in the Room of Requirement with James. He wasn’t sure why the poem had resurfaced—perhaps it was some half-forgotten memory of reading it as a child, back when Christmas still held a shred of magic. Back before Grimmauld Place became a prison.
“Well, this is earlier than usual,” James said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t think you’d be a morning meeting kind of person, Regulus.”
“I’m leaving for Grimmauld Place today,” Regulus replied curtly, not bothering to look at him. “The train leaves this afternoon. If we were going to meet, it had to be now.”
James nodded, his grin fading slightly. “Right. Well, Merry Christmas, I guess?”
Regulus scoffed, finally turning to face him. “Do I look like I’m in the Christmas spirit?”
James dropped into an armchair by the fire, ignoring the snark. “Fair enough. So, we won’t meet again until the new year?”
Regulus nodded, crossing his arms. “Obviously.”
A silence settled over the room, broken only by the crackle of the fire. James studied Regulus for a moment before speaking. “How’s Grimmauld Place these days? Still as lovely as ever?”
Regulus stiffened, his jaw clenching. “You could say that,” he said coldly.
“The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there…”
James tilted his head, his expression softening. “It can’t be easy, going back there.”
Regulus didn’t answer. Instead, he turned to the fire, staring into the dancing flames. After a moment, he said, “How’s Sirius?”
James’s brow furrowed, but he replied easily enough. “He’s alright. Happier now that he’s away from that place. He didn’t mean to leave you behind, you know. He wants you to be with him.”
Regulus’s fists tightened at his sides. “He didn’t leave me behind,” he said suddenly, his voice sharp and defensive. “He just left. He broke his promise and just left me alone.”
James blinked, caught off guard, and didn’t immediately respond.
“He said he’d always be there,” Regulus continued, his voice rising. “He promised me. But then he left. He didn’t even try to take me with him.”
James opened his mouth to speak, but Regulus shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice flat. “He’s gone, and I’m still there.”
“When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter…”
James leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Sirius didn’t leave because he didn’t care about you. He left because he couldn’t stay. You know that.”
Regulus’s lips pressed into a thin line. “If he cared, he would have taken me with him,” he muttered, staring into the fire.
“He was just a kid, Regulus. You both were,” James said quietly. “He did what he had to do to survive. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.”
“The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below…”
"We're both still kids, James," Regulus responded, his voice laced with bitterness.
James sighed, sitting back in his chair. “Look, you don’t have to figure all this out now.”
"I might," Regulus replied. "If I don't soon it might be too late."
"A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread…”
James raised an eyebrow. “Well then I guess you'll just have to use that smart brain of yours."
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Shush.”
“He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle…”
James grinned, stood up and walked to the door. He paused by the door, looking back at Regulus. “Take care of yourself, alright? And… Merry Christmas.” Regulus didn't answer and started at the dancing flames. This time tomorrow he would be at home. He hoped nothing out of the ordinary happened, but he knows that the holidays are full of surprises.
He sighed, it was time for him to make a choice. One he might regret, or one that could fix everything. He smiled to himself. You'd be proud of me Sirius. I'm finally doing something worth while. It was almost Christmas and he was almost looking forward to it for once. 'Ti's the season to be jolly he supposed.
“But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Notes:
Okkkk 5 days till Christmas and I'm veryyyy excited omggg! I haven't even watched any Christmas movies yet 😭.
As I said this technically is a Christmas chapter but the next chapter is Christmas at Grimmauld Place. I've written it I just need to grammar check it.
I love the night before Christmas poem. And I love how Regulus keeps going back to it in the back of his mind, just yes.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 15: Christmas at Grimmauld Place
Notes:
Merry Christmas! And as a present, you get a chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus was wrong. It was not the tiniest but jolly this year and Regulus wasn't surprised. He kind of got his hopes up on the train. Grimmauld Place was as cold and unwelcoming as Regulus remembered.
The Christmas decorations did little to lighten the oppressive atmosphere- garlands of holly twisted like sinister vines around the stair railings, and the tree in the drawing room glittered with silver and green ornaments that gleamed sharp and brittle as icicles. His mother had outdone herself this year, yet the house still felt as joyless as ever.
Regulus sat stiffly at the dining table, his fork idly pushing a piece of roast around his plate. Across from him, his mother, Walburga, sipped her wine, her sharp eyes fixed on him. His father sat at the head of the table, silent as always, more shadow than man.
“You’ll be fifteen in less than a month,” Walburga said suddenly, breaking the uneasy silence. Her tone was smooth, deliberate. “It’s time we discussed your future, Regulus.”
Regulus stiffened, his fork scraping against the plate. He glanced up at her, forcing himself to meet her piercing gaze. “My future?”
Walburga set her glass down, the movement precise and controlled. “Yes. You’ve done well to uphold the Black name much better than your brother ever did,” she added, her lip curling in disdain. “The Dark Lord has noticed our family’s devotion. This year, you will receive your mark and take your rightful place among his most loyal followers.”
Her words struck like a curse. Regulus’ stomach churned, but he kept his expression carefully neutral. He’d known this was coming- he’d overheard whispered conversations, caught the expectant glances his parents exchanged when they thought he wasn’t looking. But hearing it spoken aloud made it real in a way that turned his blood cold.
“Mother,” he said carefully, his voice calm but tight, “don’t you think it’s a bit… soon? I haven’t even turned sixteen yet.”
Walburga’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll be of age soon enough, and the Dark Lord values initiative. Waiting too long would make you appear weak, hesitant. That is not the Black way.”
Regulus set down his fork, his knuckles white under the table. “I understand that. But if I’m going to join him, I want to be perfect- an asset to his cause. Rushing into this without being fully prepared might disappoint him. I don’t want to risk that.”
His father spoke then, his deep, gravelly voice cutting through the tension. “The boy has a point,” Orion said, not looking up from his plate. “The Dark Lord will expect competence, not excuses. A few months of preparation could strengthen his position.”
Walburga shot him a sharp look, but after a moment, her gaze returned to Regulus. “Are you suggesting you’re not ready, Regulus? Or is there something else you’re trying to say?”
Regulus forced his shoulders to relax, though every muscle in his body screamed at him to run. “Of course I’m ready, Mother. But I want to be more than just adequate. I want to excel, to make you proud. Waiting until next summer, after I’ve finished this school year, would give me time to hone my skills. I would be stronger, more capable.”
Walburga tapped her fingers against her glass, her expression unreadable. Regulus held his breath, knowing he’d pushed as far as he dared. “Very well,” she said finally, though her tone was clipped. “You will wait until you have finished 5th year. But mark my words, Regulus, there will be no further delays.”
“Yes, Mother,” he said quickly, relief flooding him even as he kept his face impassive.
"I also expect you to get all O's in your OWLs. You need to keep up with the expectations of this family."
"Yes mother," he said again. It had become like this for a while now, his mother would say something and Regulus wouldn't argue.
The conversation shifted to other matters, but Regulus barely heard any of it. His mind raced, calculating what little time he’d managed to buy himself.
After dinner Regulus excused himself and was comforted by the stillness of his room, Regulus stared out the frosted window, the faint hum of Christmas carols drifting up from the wireless in the drawing room. He should have felt triumphant, he had delayed the inevitable, bought himself a few more precious months of freedom. But instead, all he felt was dread.
The days would slip by faster than he could stop them. And no matter what he did, the mark was waiting for him. He glanced at his trunk, 6 days till he leaves for hogwarts again. 6 days. What could happen in 6 days? He should pack his trunk, he thought. He won't need anything from there and it comforted him that everything he needed was all in one place.
"Merry Christmas Sirius," he whispered as he looked out of the window at Sirius’ star. It was the brightest one in the sky tonight.
Notes:
The bit about Sirius at the end 😭. The dark mark as well 😭 at least he managed to postpone it....
I like to imagine that Regulus has a large windowsill and sits there to look at the stars :)Tysm for reading!
Chapter 16: Birthday Surprises
Notes:
Hope eveyone who celebrates had an amaizng Christmas! It's almost 2025... Happy New Year!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The chill of January clung to Regulus as he stepped off the Hogwarts Express, his trunk rolling behind him and his robes buttoned tightly against the cold. The castle loomed in the distance, its many windows glowing faintly in the twilight. Regulus felt a strange sort of relief as he returned to the familiar halls of Hogwarts. Grimmauld Place had been suffocating, and the time spent there had only reinforced his longing to escape its dark, oppressive grip.
The journey back had been uneventful. The other Slytherins on the train had given him their usual nods of acknowledgment, though none had approached him for conversation. Regulus preferred it that way; his mind was elsewhere.
The towering castle gates opened as he approached, and the sight of the Great Hall's golden light spilling out was strangely comforting. This was his refuge, as close to a home as he had now.
The days passed quickly as Hogwarts settled back into its familiar rhythm. Classes resumed, assignments piled up, and Regulus threw himself into his studies with fervor. His solitude was broken only by the occasional meetings with James Potter. He found himself looking forward to their conversations more than he cared to admit.
January 19th
The frost clung to the castle walls as Regulus walked back to the Slytherin common room late in the evening. His birthday was tomorrow- a milestone he wasn’t sure how to feel about. Sixteen. Another year closer to adulthood, to responsibility, to the expectations his family held for him.
The common room was quiet when he entered, the fire burning low in the hearth. He sat down in one of the armchairs, staring into the flames. His thoughts drifted to Sirius, as they often did when the world grew silent. Did he even remember my birthday is tomorrow? Regulus wondered. The ache in his chest was familiar, but no less sharp. He shook his head, frustrated with himself. It doesn’t matter.
The hours ticked by as the fire crackled softly. Regulus stayed there, lost in his thoughts, until the clock struck midnight.
“Happy birthday to me,” he muttered to the empty room as he was laying down on his bed.
January 20th
The morning light filtered through the windows of the Slytherin dormitory as Regulus sat on his bed, lacing up his shoes. Today, he had turned sixteen, but the thought felt more like a weight than a celebration. Birthdays had never been particularly special in Grimmauld Place. They were more a reminder of duty, of growing into the expectations placed upon him.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before heading to breakfast. The Great Hall was its usual chaotic mix of students, laughter, and clinking silverware. Regulus slid into a seat at the Slytherin table, methodically filling his plate while pointedly ignoring the chatter around him. He was halfway through his toast when an owl swooped down, dropping a folded piece of parchment onto his plate.
He frowned, brushing crumbs off the note before unfolding it. The handwriting was messy, almost playful: Meet me in the Room of Requirement tonight. – J
Regulus’ brow furrowed. James hadn’t mentioned anything about meeting today, and it wasn’t like him to be so cryptic. He pocketed the note and finished his breakfast, pushing thoughts of James aside for the moment.
The day dragged on with classes, and Regulus found himself distracted. He caught himself thinking about the note, about James’s annoyingly lopsided grin, about how he always seemed to have the right thing to say even when Regulus didn’t want to hear it.
By the time evening fell, he was standing outside the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, pacing back and forth. The door to the Room of Requirement appeared, and with a quiet breath, Regulus stepped inside. James was already there, lounging in an armchair near the fire, his messy hair glowing in the firelight.
He looked up as the door clicked shut, grinning. “Well, happy birthday, little Regulus Black.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, though his lips twitched slightly. “How do you even know when my birthday is?”
“Sirius was talking about it,” James said, shrugging. “He said it was coming up, and I figured you wouldn’t want anyone making a big deal out of it. But…” He stood and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “I still wanted to give you something.”
Regulus’ eyebrows rose, and he crossed his arms. “Why?”
James just shrugged again, holding out the box. “Because I wanted to, and I didn't get to give you a Christmas present.”
Regulus hesitated, then took the box. He opened it slowly, revealing a set of silver rings. They were understated but beautiful, their polished surfaces catching the warm glow of the firelight.
“You didn’t have to, and I didn't even get you a Christmas present.” Regulus muttered, his voice quieter now.
James grinned. “I know but I wanted to, and its fine, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
Regulus looked at the rings again, unsure what to say. He felt the tips of his ears warm as he slid the box into his pocket. “Thanks,” he said quickly, avoiding James’ gaze.
James smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Regulus turned toward the door, his movements hurried. “I should go. It’s late. Thanks again James. I mean it, you really didn’t have to get me anything.”
"It's fine. That's what friends are for," James replied.
Friends. They were friends now he thought. Regulus shook his head and didn’t look back as he left, his footsteps echoing down the corridor. His mind was a whirlwind. Why did he do that? Why did I do that? He touched the pocket where the box rested, his ears still pink. He’s so infuriatingly, annoyingly cute he thought, shaking his head as he made his way back to the Slytherin dorms.
Notes:
Reggie's birthday yay! I feel like regulus is a winter baby. So sweet of that present from james and it was rings as welllll!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 17: Somewhat Normal
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The days following Regulus' birthday settled into a kind of rhythm. The small silver rings James had given him rarely left his fingers, though he told himself it was only because they fit perfectly and not because they reminded him of James.
Their meetings in the Room of Requirement became a weekly occurrence, a quiet constant in his life. They rarely talked about the war or their families; those topics lingered too heavily, threatening to shatter the fragile peace they'd built. Instead, they filled their time with other things like discussing Quidditch, James’ latest Marauder endeavours, or occasionally lapsing into gentle silence.
Just as often, they would read together. Regulus would often bring books and poems he liked, ones he had discovered in the Black library or during quiet hours in the Hogwarts library. They would sit on the sofa together and would exchange remarks about the books or poems to each other. Regulus hadn’t expected to enjoy that part as much as he did. There was something soothing about the quiet companionship, about the shared understanding of words and stories. He tried not to think too much about how much he looked forward to those evenings.
His friends had also noticed a change in him. One afternoon, as they relaxed in the Slytherin common room, Barty leaned back in his chair, studying Regulus with a curious expression.
“You’ve changed,” he said, his tone half-teasing, half-serious.
Regulus frowned, glancing up from his Potions essay. “What are you on about?”
“You look lighter,” Barty continued, gesturing vaguely at him. “Like something’s shifted in you.”
Evan smirked, but Regulus rolled his eyes. “Fuck off, don’t be ridiculous. I’m the same as I've always been.”
Barty didn’t press further, though his gaze lingered, as if he was trying to puzzle something out.
It was a few days later, during a break between classes, that Barty’s curiosity resurfaced. Regulus was pulling on his gloves as they were about to head to the courtyard when Barty’s sharp eyes caught the glint of his silver rings.
“Nice rings,” Barty remarked casually, tilting his head.
Regulus’s fingers twitched slightly, but he kept his expression neutral. “They’re just rings,” he replied with a shrug.
Barty raised an eyebrow but didn’t push. “Yeah. Just rings,” he said, his tone light but speculative.
Regulus turned away quickly, thankful when Evan interrupted to ask about the upcoming Quidditch match. Still, the comment lingered in his mind, and he couldn’t help but glance down at his hands as they walked outside. Just rings, he told himself again. But even as he thought it, he knew that it wasn't true.
The rest of his days, however, were normal. Hogwarts buzzed with the usual energy of the new term, and Regulus was grateful to lose himself in the routine. His classes were demanding and for his sake he had to make sure he got all O's in his OWLs. The familiar challenge of his studies offered a welcome distraction, but it wasn’t all work. His friends had noticed his happier tone, and before they pulled him into their antics.
“Come on, Reg,” Barty drawled one afternoon as they strolled by the lake. “You’re not actually going to spend all day in the library, are you? Even you need a break sometimes.”
“I have a paper due in Ancient Runes,” Regulus replied, though there was no real edge to his tone.
“Ancient Runes can wait,” Evan said, grinning. “Besides, you promised to help me with that charm. Remember?”
Regulus sighed but allowed himself to be dragged along. The afternoon passed in a blur of laughter and teasing as they attempted—mostly unsuccessfully—to teach Evan a particularly tricky charm. By the end of it, they were breathless and cold, but the day was too good complain.
As the sun set over the castle, casting the grounds in shades of pink and gold, Regulus found himself quietly grateful. For his friends. For the brief reprieves from the weight of expectation. For the strange, unexpected rhythm his life had settled into. And he would never admit this to anyone, but he was grateful for James being there for him. Times like these didn't happen often, but he was glad to have them.
Notes:
The rings. I repeat, the rings. Too cute, literally too cute.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 18: Unspoken Bonds
Summary:
I think I'll post on Sunday's from now on because I'm back at school now and it's easier
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
James paced the Room of Requirement, his thoughts wandering, as usual. He was looking forward to seeing Regulus again. Their weekly meetings had become a comforting routine, and each time they met, it seemed like they fell into a quiet rhythm that neither of them had to force. The last few weeks had been easy and James couldn’t deny that he enjoyed their time together.
When Regulus stepped into the room, he was carrying The Great Gatsby. His usual calm presence seemed to settle over the space, and James couldn’t help but smile.
“Ready to read The Great Gatsby?” Regulus asked, holding up the book.
James raised an eyebrow. “You’re really serious about this one, huh?” He collapsed onto the sofa with a mock groan. “I’ve heard so much about it that I’m half convinced I already know the whole plot.”
Regulus smirked and sat down beside him. “You’d be surprised. Just give it a chance, alright?”
James rolled his eyes but took the book anyway. They both opened to the pages where they’d left off. Regulus was already absorbed in the words, his focus intense, and James felt himself becoming more interested as well.
Regulus began to read. James found himself drawn into the world Fitzgerald had created, the descriptions of the lavish parties, the shallow glamour of the East Egg society. But every now and then, his gaze would shift to Regulus, who seemed to be reading as though every word mattered, as if the book itself had some deep meaning that James couldn’t fully grasp.
“Alright, I admit it,” he said, glancing at Regulus. “This isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Regulus gave him a knowing look. “I told you.”
Regulus began to read aloud again. “In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.” His voice was quiet but clear, and it seemed to draw James in more, each word flowing easily from his lips. "When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart."
James looked at Regulus, distracted by the sound of his voice.
"Are you listening?" Regulus asked.
"I- yes. Go on."
He found his attention held by Regulus’s voice. As they continued reading, James’s thoughts began to drift into the world of the novel. It was oddly captivating, even if he had his doubts about the characters’ motivations. But with Regulus reading, it felt like the story had a deeper pull, a connection that made it easier to understand.
After some time, Regulus set the book down on his lap, and James glanced over at him, sensing something had changed.
“What’s wrong?” James asked softly, his gaze moving over Regulus’s face.
Regulus didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he just stared ahead, lost in thought. “Nothing,” he said at last, shaking his head. “Just wanted to sit here for a while. Be quiet.”
James studied him for a moment, but he didn’t press any further. There was something else there, something Regulus wasn’t ready to talk about. Instead, he sat back against the sofa, feeling the quiet settle between them.
A few minutes passed, and James shifted slightly, his arm brushing against Regulus’s as they both relaxed. The fire crackled softly in the corner, the only sound in the room besides the occasional turn of a page.
After around 10 minutes James blinked in surprise, watching as Regulus’s head slumped toward his shoulder. He froze for a moment, unsure of what to do, before deciding that it didn’t feel wrong to let it happen. There was something peaceful about it, the way Regulus seemed completely at ease, even in the midst of everything they’d both been carrying.
He’s actually asleep.
James couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. He felt the warmth of Regulus’s head against his shoulder, the steady rise and fall of his breath. For the next thirty minutes, James just sat there. He stared at the book in his lap and stared at Regulus sleeping, his thoughts drifting.
Eventually, Regulus stirred, blinking up at him with a groggy expression. He quickly sat up, pulling away.
“Oh, sorry,” Regulus said breathlessly, his face flushing slightly. “I should go now. It’s late.”
James watched him stand up, feeling a strange flutter in his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but he just reached out for Regulus’s hand and grabbed it, their eyes locked.
For a moment, neither of them moved. It was as if time itself had slowed. Their gazes held for what felt like years, the silence stretching out between them. He could feel the warmth and softness of Regulus's hand on his.
Regulus flushed a deeper red, and with a quick movement, he took his hand out of James’s, he straightened up and turned toward the door.
“I’ll see you later,” he said in a voice soft.
James didn’t say anything. He just watched him leave, a mix of feelings swirling inside him.
Come back, he wanted to say. I want you to stay, he wanted to tell him, but he didn't. He let him go, even though he really wished he would've stayed.
Notes:
More jegulus moments 🤭
Reading the 'Great Gatsby' then falling asleep on James’s shoulder is just yes.Tysm for reading!
Chapter 19: A Flicker of Hope?
Notes:
Ah, it's Sunday! Another week, another chapter! This fic is probably the only reason I like Sundays, lol. :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus stepped out of the Room of Requirement, the warmth of the fire still lingering on his skin. The corridors were quiet at this hour, his footsteps echoing softly against the cold stone walls. Shit, he thought, his mind racing as he headed back to the Slytherin dorms. I can't believe I fell asleep. The memory of James's warmth, his steady presence, made his face flush, but he shook it off.
By the time he slipped through the entrance to the common room and into his dorm, his thoughts were a swirling mess. He collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the canopy. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath before finally closing his eyes, collapsing into his bed and letting exhaustion of sleep take over.
***
The next morning, Regulus sat at the edge of his bed, still groggy but unable to shake the events of the previous night. The memory of James’ shoulder against his cheek made his stomach twist in a way he couldn’t figure out.
Evan was lounging on the bed across from him, flipping lazily through a magazine. He glanced up, his eyes immediately catching Regulus' troubled state. “Alright, spill. What’s got you all twisted up this time?”
Regulus hesitated, his fingers toying with the silver rings on his hand. "It’s... about James," he admitted finally.
Evan smirked. “Ah, Potter. This should be good.”
Regulus shot him a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. “He gave me a birthday present.” He held up his hand slightly, showing the rings. “These.”
Evan raised an eyebrow. “Nice. And?”
“And... I don’t know,” Regulus said, his voice quieter. “I think we had a moment last night. He—he’s just... infuriatingly kind and sweet and funny. I fell asleep during one of those meetings we have, and when I woke up, he—” He stopped, not sure how to explain the weight of James’ gaze, the way it had lingered, the way it made him feel seen and exposed all at once.
Evan watched him for a moment, then set his magazine aside. “Alright, Reg. The thing is, I think that you should talk to him. If you want you and him to be friends, or more, then you have to talk this out.”
“I don’t know,” Regulus said, his brow furrowing. “Maybe… I just—I don’t want him and me getting involved or becoming closer friends if my mother—”
“Fuck your mother,” Evan cut in, his voice firm. “She doesn’t get to decide this part of your life. She controls everything else, Regulus. Let yourself have this. Let yourself be selfish this time. Please, choose you this time.”
Regulus stared at Evan, his chest tight. The truth of those words hit him like a blow, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe. Finally, he nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice steadier than he expected. “I’ll choose me. Fuck my mother controlling this part of my life. I’m going to talk to him.”
Evan grinned, satisfied. “Good. About time.”
Regulus looked at him, a small smile playing on his lips. “Thanks, Evan. You really are the best.”
Evan leaned back with a dramatic sigh. “I know. It’s a heavy burden, but someone has to do it.”
Regulus laughed softly, and for the first time in what felt like forever, a flicker of hope stirred in his chest. He didn’t know how things with James would go, but for now, he was choosing himself.
Notes:
I love Evan. He's definitely one of my faves out of everyone
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 20: In Those Quite Moments
Notes:
I've had sm tests recently :( and I've been sick all week :( it totally sucks but today's Sunday and you shall get a chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James
The day was dragging on endlessly. James sat in Transfiguration, his chin propped on his hand as Professor McGonagall explained advanced switching spells. His quill hovered over his parchment, but the words being spoken barely registered. Instead, his thoughts wandered to his meeting later that evening.
He couldn’t help it. Regulus had been on his mind constantly. The way he’d fallen asleep on his shoulder, the softness of his expression when he read aloud, the quiet moments they shared- it was all so… unexpected. And yet, James couldn’t bring himself to wish it away.
“Mr. Potter,” Professor McGonagall’s sharp voice cut through his thoughts.
James blinked, snapping back to reality. “Sorry, Professor,” he muttered, sitting up straighter.
She gave him a pointed look before continuing the lesson, but James could hardly focus. The rest of the day passed in a blur. Potions, History of Magic, Charms-all of it felt like background noise compared to the anticipation building in his chest. The only thing he could think about was what he’d say to Regulus later.
***
The Room of Requirement was warm and inviting as always. James entered, the door closing softly behind him, and his eyes immediately landed on Regulus.
He was already there, sitting on the sofa with a book in his lap. When he looked up, a small smile curved his lips.
“Hey,” James said, his heart doing something ridiculous in his chest.
“Hey,” Regulus replied, and James swore the room felt brighter somehow.
James crossed the room and sat down beside him, the space between them smaller than it used to be. “What are we reading today then, Reg?”
Regulus didn’t tell him not to call him that, not anymore. It was almost crazy how close they’d gotten, how natural it felt to be here together.
“Today, it’s one of my favorite poems,” Regulus said, holding it up. “It’s called Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day.”
Regulus opened the book, and his voice filled the room, low and steady:
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date…”
James wasn’t even listening to the words, not really. He was too focused on Regulus. The way his lips moved as he read, the way they were curled up on the sofa together like this was the most natural thing in the world.
The meetings weren’t really about Sirius anymore, though they still talked about him occasionally. Now, they were about… this. Whatever this was.
"But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor death shall brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to-"
Regulus paused, glancing at him. “Are you even listening?”
James blinked, caught. “Not really, no. I was just—”
And then Regulus kissed him.
It was quick, almost hesitant, but it sent a shock through James’s entire body. His brain barely had time to catch up before he was kissing him back, leaning into the warmth and softness that was so uniquely Regulus.
And then it was over.
Regulus pulled back, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed. He stood abruptly, the book forgotten on the sofa. “Sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
One word, and then he was gone, leaving James sitting there alone, his heart pounding in his chest.
James touched his lips, still tingling from the kiss. Come back, he thought.
But Regulus didn’t come back. And James sat there, somehow wishing that he would. What's wrong with me? He thought.
Notes:
I can't with the 'whats wrong with me at the end 😭
Soo Regulus finally made the big move to kiss James after 20 chapter....aaaaaah! I love them sm!
Go follow me on my Tumblr :)
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 21: No Turning Back Now
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus practically ran from the Room of Requirement, his mind spinning in every direction. The castle corridors blurred around him as he made his way back to the dungeons, his heart pounding in his chest.
He didn't know why he did it. James was just there...looking at him...absorbed in his reading and....his face was right there, and it was- fuck. Regulus ruined everything.
His lips still tingled from the kiss, and he pressed his fingers to them as if that would make it all disappear.
He shouldn’t have kissed him. He was only supposed to talk to him.
The weight of what he’d done settled over him, and he groaned under his breath. This is just great. Now he had ruined everything.
James’ face flashed in his mind, surprised but not angry, not disgusted. But that didn’t matter. James would never think of him in that way. He couldn’t. He’s in love with Evans, after all.
The thought made Regulus’ chest tighten painfully, and he shoved it away as he finally reached the Slytherin common room. Pushing through the door, he made his way to his dormitory, grateful that most people were sleeping and the space was quiet.
Evan was sitting on his bed, flipping through a book, but he looked up as Regulus entered, his brows furrowing at the expression on his friend’s face. “What happened?” he asked.
Regulus stopped in the middle of the room, running a hand through his hair. He looked at Evan, opened his mouth to say something, and then hesitated.
Evan’s eyes narrowed. “Reg, what did you do?”
Regulus exhaled sharply and sat down on his own bed, staring at the floor. “Ikissedjames,” he said finally, the words tumbling out all at once.
Evan’s jaw dropped. “You did what?”
“I kissed him,” Regulus repeated, his voice heavy with frustration.
Evan set his book aside, leaning forward. “What? You did? What are you going to do now?”
“Talking crashed and burned, so obviously, I’m going to avoid him so I don’t have to talk to him,” Regulus snapped, the frustration bubbling over.
Evan frowned, his tone softening. “How do you know he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Because he’s fucking hopelessly in love with Lily Evans!” Regulus snapped again, his voice rising before he could stop himself. “And don’t tell me he might not be. You’ve seen his ridiculous displays he puts on for her. Everyone has.”
The silence that followed was heavy, and Regulus sighed, his shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, glancing at Evan. “I didn’t mean to snap.”
Evan shrugged, his expression softening. “It’s okay. You’re stressed. I get it.”
Regulus nodded, looking away. He didn’t deserve Evan’s patience, not right now. But then Evan stood and crossed the room, pulling him into a hug.
“Look, whatever happens, you’ll figure it out,” Evan said softly. “And if Potter doesn’t feel the same way, well, he’s an idiot.”
Regulus didn’t reply, but he hugged Evan back, closing his eyes against the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. For now, he’d just hold on to this moment, even if everything else felt like it was falling apart.
Notes:
Evan's back againnn, yesss. I love him. He'll be in this fic a lot as one of Regulus's best friends when it's Regulus's perspective (maybe a bit more than everyone else)
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 22: Caught off Guard
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
When James Potter was thirteen, he fell in love with the bright, lively green eyes that belonged to Lily Evans, the girl who sat next to him in Potions. For an entire year, he was captivated by the way her eyes seemed to shift with her every mood: her soft smile, her facial expression when she was annoyed with him- which was often. James had been fascinated by every part of her, from her cleverness to her fierce determination. By the end of that year, he had decided that Lily Evans was the one. The girl he would spend his life with.
But now, as James walked to the Gryffindor common room, he wasn’t thinking about green eyes anymore. He was thinking about Regulus Black. About the way Regulus had kissed him.
Regulus kissed me.
The thought turned over and over in his mind like a wheel that wouldn’t stop spinning. And the thing that shook James to his core was that he had kissed him back. Without hesitation. Without thought. As if it were the most natural thing in the world.
He leaned forward, burying his face in his hands. The memory of it was seared into his mind- the press of Regulus’ lips, hesitant at first but growing surer when James didn’t pull away. That kiss had felt like… like something James hadn’t even realized he’d been missing.
The turn of a page broke the silence, he hasn't even realised that he was back in the common room. James looked up to see Remus sitting on the sofa, a book open in his lap, his brow furrowing slightly as he glanced over at James.
“Well, you’re back late, Prongs,” Remus said, his tone casual, though his curious eyes studied James carefully.
James hesitated, running a hand through his already messy hair. “Yeah. Just… had some stuff to do.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, closing his book and setting it aside. “Stuff to do? You’ve been sneaking off late for weeks now, and you thought we wouldn’t notice?”
James opened his mouth, then closed it again. What could he say? Oh, I’ve just been meeting Regulus Black in secret and now he’s kissed me and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it? Yeah, no. No way he could say that.
“I don’t know what to say, Moony,” James finally muttered, sinking into an armchair across from him.
Remus tilted his head slightly, his tone softening. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s going on?”
For a long moment, James didn’t respond. He stared at the fire, his thoughts jumbled. Finally, he spoke. “I’ve been meeting someone. And tonight… they kissed me.”
Remus’s eyebrows shot up. “They kissed you? Was it Lily? Did you finally manage to win her over?”
James let out a short, nervous laugh. “No. It wasn’t Lily. It’s… not a girl.”
Remus blinked, the surprise clear on his face, but it was quickly replaced by understanding. “Oh. Well… did you want them to kiss you?”
James hesitated, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. Then he nodded. “Yeah. I think I did.”
Remus’s expression softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Alright. So, what about Lily?”
“I guess I don’t like Lily anymore,” James said, though the words felt strange to say out loud.
“You guess?” Remus prompted gently.
James shook his head firmly this time, "No. I don’t like Lily anymore.”
“Okay.” Remus leaned back, studying him thoughtfully. “So… what does this mean for you? Do you think you’re bisexual? Pansexual?”
James frowned slightly. “What’s pansexual?”
“It’s when you’re attracted to someone regardless of their gender,” Remus explained. “It’s more about the person than anything else.”
James considered this, turning the words over in his mind. “I guess… I’ve never really cared about someone’s gender when I liked them. So maybe…”
Remus nodded, his smile encouraging. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just take your time."
James let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Thanks, Moony. That helps.”
“Of course. So…” Remus’ lips quirked up in a sly smile. “Am I allowed to know who it is, or is that top secret?”
James hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can’t tell Sirius. Promise me you won’t.”
Remus frowned slightly, but then his eyes widened. “The only person Sirius would lose his mind over is… don’t tell me it’s him?”
James winced. “Depends on who you mean, but yeah, it’s Regulus.”
Remus chuckled, the sound echoing through the quiet room. “Oh, James. You’re absolutely crazy. Sirius is going to go mad.”
“I know,” James groaned, dragging a hand through his hair. “But I can’t stop thinking about him, Remus. And tonight… when he kissed me…”
Remus’s laughter softened, replaced by a warm, understanding smile. “Sounds like you like him. A lot.”
James nodded, the truth settling heavily but comfortably in his chest. “Yeah. I think I do.”
Remus reached over and clapped a hand on James’s shoulder. “Well, good luck, Prongs. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Sirius.”
James grinned, feeling lighter than he had all evening. “Thanks, Moony.” After a few moments of silence James spoke again, "But speaking of Sirius… did you and him finally get together?”
Remus froze, his cheeks tinged pink. “You’d have to ask Sirius about that.”
James grinned. “You definitely did! Pete owes me 20 Galleons. This is great, Moony!”
“Ask Sirus. And you and Pete have been betting on this? Seriously?” Remus said, though his blush deepened.
“You know who's always Sirius," James laughed.
Remus rolled his eyes, "I walked into that one."
"You have no idea how long this bet has been going on for.” James told Remus.
Remus stood to head up to go to bed, clutching his book. “I’m going to bed now. But James…” He paused, looking over his shoulder. “I’m happy for you. Whatever this is with Regulus, I hope it works out. And ask Sirius if you really want to know."
"Thanks Remus, I'm happy for you too."
As Remus disappeared up the stairs, James lingered by the fire for a little longer, staring into the flames. Pansexual. Maybe that’s me.
Notes:
I just wanted to say that this chapter was very close to my heart, and I had a good time writing it as I could kind of refer back to my own experiences when I figured everything out.
And yes I know that it's not as easy as is written here and I am aware of that (hence my own experience) so there will be more written about James discovering himself and figuring out what he really wants in someone he would potentially spend his life with.
I love this chapter. It's definitely one of my favourites so far.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 23: No More Running
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus had been avoiding James for weeks. Every time he thought about the kiss, his chest tightened, and his mind spiraled into the same mantra: stupid, stupid, stupid. You messed everything up.
It had been reckless. An impulse he hadn’t been able to suppress. He wasn’t supposed to want things like that. He can't want things like that. Things that made his heart race in ways he didn’t understand. Things that made him feel warm and alive instead of cold and calculated.
So he had done the only thing he knew how to do, he ran.
He hadn’t gone to their usual meetings since that night. He’d simply stopped showing up. James hadn’t sought him out, at least, not that Regulus had noticed, but it didn’t matter. Regulus made sure they never crossed paths. He’d memorized James’s schedule without even realizing it, timing his movements to avoid him at every turn.
His friends noticed, though they never pushed too hard. Evan gave him space; Barty didn't tease him as often, but Pandora... she was watching him closer than usual. One evening, as they sat in the Slytherin common room, Regulus felt her gaze on him before she even spoke.
“Regulus,” she said softly.
He didn’t look up right away, keeping his focus on the parchment in front of him. His quill hovered mid-sentence. “Hmm?”
Pandora hesitated, then asked, “Are you alright?”
His brows furrowed. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She tilted her head, studying him like she could see through every carefully placed mask. “You seem… sadder. You were happier these past few months, but now…”
Regulus felt something sharp twist in his chest. He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t feel happier. He didn’t know what happiness was supposed to feel like.
“I’m fine,” he interrupted, forcing a smile. “Really, Pandora. You’re imagining things.”
Her gaze lingered, searching his face for cracks in his facade, but Regulus quickly changed the subject before she could pry any further.
***
After almost a month of avoiding James, Regulus found himself walking alone toward the Great Hall for dinner. He kept his head down, his mind elsewhere. The halls were mostly empty, the echo of his footsteps filling the quiet space.
“Regulus!” A voice shouted, undoubtedly James'.
His heart jumped into his throat.
For a brief moment, he considered pretending he hadn’t heard. He could keep walking, slip through the crowd in the Great Hall, disappear into the noise of dinner. But before he could make a decision, footsteps approached quickly, and then James was in front of him, blocking his path.
Regulus inhaled sharply, his pulse thrumming under his skin. He hadn’t been this close to James in weeks.
James’s face was set in determination, but his eyes were uncertain, like he was bracing himself. “We need to talk,” he said, voice steady.
Regulus stiffened. “No—”
James didn’t let him finish. With a firm but gentle grip, James caught his wrist. Regulus’s breath hitched at the touch. It wasn’t tight, just enough to keep him there.
“No,” James said firmly. “We need to talk. Now.”
Regulus’s throat felt tight. He should pull away. He should tell James to leave him alone, to go back to pretending none of this ever happened. But his body betrayed him.
James tugged him toward an empty classroom before he could protest. The door shut behind them with a soft click, sealing them in.
Regulus turned, ready to tell James off, to shove all his walls back into place, but the look on James’s face made the words die in his throat. James wasn’t angry. He wasn’t gloating or teasing.
He was… nervous.
And that made Regulus’s stomach churn.
Notes:
Sorry for the kind of cliff hanger? Nah not really. Now you must wait a week to find out what James says.....
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 24: Warmth
Notes:
Sorry the chapter is a bit late I've been soooo busy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The classroom was empty, dimly lit by the soft glow of the late afternoon sun streaming through the high windows. Regulus stood by a desk, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his gaze fixed on the floor. James stood by the door, leaning against it, blocking the exit.
"Let me go, Potter," Regulus said sharply, his voice low and edged with frustration.
"Not until we talk," James didn’t budge. "Please, Regulus. Just until I've said what i need to say."
Regulus paused, his jaw tightening. He glanced up at James, who looked genuinely earnest, his hazel eyes wide and almost pleading. With a reluctant sigh, Regulus muttered, "Fine. This had better be good."
James exhaled in relief and stepped forward cautiously. He scratched the back of his neck, his usual confidence replaced by an awkward vulnerability.
"Look, I’m not really sure what I’m doing," he began, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. "But you... you kissed me, and I hadn’t really thought of being that way with a guy before. So I talked to a friend about it, and... they helped me a lot. And I think..." He trailed off, his cheeks reddening slightly.
Regulus frowned, confused. "You think what?"
"I think I like you, Regulus. I think I like you a lot."
Regulus blinked, completely stunned. "What? Why?"
James gave a small, almost shy smile. "Why do I like you? Well, because you’re smart, and funny- even when you’re not trying to be. And you care so deeply about things and the people you love, even if you won’t admit it. And I’m so glad we had these meetings, even though... it wasn’t my intention for things to end up like this when we started meeting each other here. But I think I’m glad they did. And now I feel as though I really know you."
"You think you know me? Tell me something then. We've been meeting for a while now. Tell me something. What could you possibly know?"
"Well, you like poetry a lot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you were writing some- it would probably be really good too. You love to draw, and you're bloody good at it too. I've seen you with a sketchpad multiple times around the castle. You have your hair long but not too long so you won't look like Sirius. Speaking of Sirius, you still care about him and want to talk to him. That’s why these meetings started in the first place- "
"Alright, I've heard enough. You're not completely wrong..."
James grinned that enthusiastic James Potter grin. "The point is, I like you too, Regulus."
Regulus just stared at him, his mind racing, his cheeks flushing with heat. No one had ever spoken about him like that before. "Are you sure?" he asked.
James nodded, his confidence returning as he spoke. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure."
For the first time in what felt like years, Regulus smiled- a real, genuine smile.
"So," Regulus said, "where do we go from here, Potter?"
James tilted his head, his expression thoughtful. "That’s up to you, I guess. Do you still want to meet with me?"
"I- uh..." Regulus hesitated. "I really, really do," Regulus replied, his voice steadied despite the nervous energy coursing through him.
James grinned. "So we will then. On Friday's?"
"Yes," Regulus said with a small nod.
"Um... can I hug you?" James asked.
"Yes," Regulus answered. He stepped closer, and James wrapped his arms around him, and Regulus hugged him back.
It was a strange sensation being hugged by James. He felt... warm and comforting and... safe. Regulus didn't think he'd ever been hugged like this before, hugged like he mattered, like this moment was so important and that someone really wanted him. What a strange feeling, he thought. He didn't know what it was, but he liked it.
Regulus looked up at James, and James smiled at him. He was so pure and so full of joy all the time that when Regulus was with him, he felt a weight lifted. Regulus grabbed James’s tie and pulled him into a kiss. He kissed him, softly at first, but the kiss quickly deepened, their emotions pouring into each other with a passion that neither had expected. James kissed him back with the same intensity, and his hands cupped Regulus’s face.
When they finally pulled apart, Regulus was breathless. "I should get to dinner," Regulus said, his voice quieter now, but warm. "My friends will be wondering where I am. See you on Friday?"
James nodded, still grinning. "Yeah, my friends will be wondering where I am too. And yeah- see you on Friday, Reg."
As James moved to leave, Regulus called out softly, "C’est fou, mais je suis prêt à prendre un risque sur toi, James."
James turned back, confused but intrigued. "What does that mean?"
Regulus gave him a small, teasing smile. "You’ll have to learn French and find out, James."
James chuckled. "You’re going to drive me mad, you know that?"
"Probably," Regulus replied with a smirk.
James shook his head, still smiling, and left the classroom, the door closing softly behind him. Regulus remained where he was, a warmth spreading through his chest as he replayed the moment in his head. This was crazy- completely, utterly crazy. And very, very stupid.
Notes:
C’est fou, mais je suis prêt à prendre un risque sur toi, James. -> it's crazy but I'm willing to take a risk on you James.
Finallyyyy they're togetherrrr! Yay
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 25: When it's Just Us: Remus interlude
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Remus
“You’re an idiot, you know?” Remus said it playfully, a smirk tugging at his lips.
Sirius just grinned, utterly unbothered. “Well, I’m your idiot, Moony.”
Remus rolled his eyes, but warmth curled in his chest at the words. He cast a quick glance around the corridor to check for stragglers. The last thing they needed was to be caught by nosy students or, worse, a professor. When he saw no one, he turned back to Sirius and, without another word, pulled him in for a kiss.
Sirius barely had a second to react before their lips met, but he melted into it immediately, kissing Remus back with just as much enthusiasm. Their tongues intertwined, the kiss deepening as Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’s neck.
After a few lingering moments, they broke apart, Sirius grinning like an idiot. “What was that for?” he asked, breathless.
Remus just smirked. “No reason.”
Sirius gave him a skeptical look but didn’t complain. Instead, he slung an arm over Remus’s shoulder and said, “Alright, let’s go to Charms then.”
With one last glance at each other, they fell into step side by side, heading toward their next class as if nothing had happened.
***
The Great Hall buzzed with energy as students filled the long tables, laughter and conversation echoing off the enchanted ceiling. At the Gryffindor table, James was in the middle of an animated discussion about Quidditch, gesturing wildly with his fork as he spoke.
“I’m telling you, if McKinnon actually passed the Quaffle instead of trying to score from the halfway mark, we’d win games so much faster,” James said, exasperated.
“She just likes the glory,” Sirius pointed out, shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. “You can’t blame her for that.”
“Well, I blame her when we nearly lose because of it,” James countered, shaking his head. “I swear, if I wasn’t captain, I’d be losing my mind by now.”
Peter snorted. “You’re already insufferable enough. Imagine if you weren’t in charge.”
James huffed, but a grin tugged at his lips. “You’re just jealous of my leadership skills, Wormy.”
Sirius clapped James on the back. “Nah, mate, we’re terrified of your leadership skills. You nearly made us run drills in the snow last week.”
James scoffed. “It helps!”
Peter and Sirius both groaned dramatically. Remus just chuckled, watching the exchange with amusement. But as the conversation continued, he couldn’t help but notice the way James’s gaze flickered to him and Sirius occasionally. He was watching them as if he knew something but was waiting for one of them to say it first. Remus thought back to their conversation before. He suspected that he and Sirius were together, but Remus had said nothing about it, and as far as he knew, Sirius hadn't either.
As dinner wrapped up, the four boys made their way up to the Gryffindor Tower, their chatter easy and familiar.
The dormitory was quiet, the warm glow of the enchanted lanterns casting soft shadows across the room. James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus climbed into their respective beds, pulling the curtains shut.
Just as Remus was about to settle in with a book, he leaned slightly toward Sirius’s bed and whispered, so only he could hear, “You really should tell James. I’m pretty sure he already knows.”
Sirius exhaled, barely audible in the silence. “I know,” he whispered back. “I will. Tomorrow. Promise.”
Remus nodded. “Alright.”
Satisfied, he finally lay back against his pillows and cracked open Pride and Prejudice, the familiar words a comfort as the room grew quieter.
A few minutes passed before the curtains of his four-poster bed shifted slightly. Sirius peeked through the gap, his dark hair falling into his eyes.
“Hey,” Remus greeted, moving over to make space.
Sirius slipped in next to him, the warmth of his body immediately noticeable. “Hi, Moony,” he murmured. His gaze flicked down to the book. “What are you reading?”
"Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen," Remus answered.
Sirius groaned dramatically. “You read too much sometimes.”
Remus just chuckled, setting the book aside. “What’s up?”
Sirius hesitated, then smiled. “Nothing.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, but before he could question it, Sirius leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and lingering, different from their earlier kiss in the corridor. Less rushed, more them.
When they broke apart, Remus let his fingers tangle in Sirius’ hair, absentmindedly twisting the strands between his fingers. Normally, Sirius didn’t let anyone touch his hair, but with Remus, he didn’t seem to mind.
Sirius sighed contentedly, then murmured, “Tomorrow, let's skip our classes.”
Remus chuckled, amused. “Oh, really? Do you want another detention?”
Sirius just grinned. “I don’t care. Besides you're a Prefect. Wanna give me a detention or stay here with me all day? Or, even better, you can oversee my detention, if you know what I mean.” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Remus rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “We’ll see.”
Sirius hummed, clearly satisfied with that answer. He kissed Remus on the cheek softly, then shifted closer, resting his head against Remus’s shoulder, and within a few minutes, his breathing evened out as he drifted to sleep.
Remus stayed awake for a little while longer, staring at the ceiling, his fingers still lazily running through Sirius’s hair. Tomorrow, Sirius would tell James. And James would understand, it's James. With that thought in mind, Remus closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
Notes:
Wolfstar my beloveds <3
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 26: Trust in Me
Notes:
Just for any clarification, Regulus and Skittles are in 5th year, and James and Marauders are in 6th year.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus still couldn’t quite believe it. It had been a few days since his talk with James in the empty classroom, and the words kept looping in his mind.
James Potter likes me. James Potter kissed me.
No matter how many times he replayed it, it still felt surreal. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to him.
For years, Regulus had maintained a quiet resentment toward James, because he had stolen Sirius away. At least, that’s what Regulus had told himself. James had been Sirius’s real family, the one he had chosen over him.
But then Regulus had actually met James, had spoken to him beyond the occasional sneer or insult exchanged in the hallways. And it was impossible not to like him. James was warm in a way that made Regulus feel like he’d been cold his entire life. He was kind, annoyingly persistent, and had this way of looking at people as if he saw them. It had been ridiculous, really, how quickly Regulus’ animosity had crumbled into something else entirely. Now here he was, tangled up in something he never could have predicted.
So now he was currently making his way toward the Slytherin common room, mentally preparing himself for what was sure to be an infuriating conversation. He had been avoiding Evan for the past few days, partly because he’d been distracted by his own thoughts, but mostly because Evan knew him too well. And if there was one thing Regulus hated, it was being predictable.
***
The Slytherin common room was dimly lit, the green-tinged lanterns flickering softly against the stone walls. It was relatively quiet, save for the occasional murmuring of students working on assignments or the sound of quills scratching against parchment.
Evan was sprawled across one of the sofas near the fireplace, a book resting open on his lap. Though, by the way his eyes flicked up immediately upon Regulus’ arrival, it was clear he hadn’t been paying much attention to it.
The moment Regulus sat down beside him, Evan didn’t even hesitate.
“You’re acting weird,” he said immediately.
Regulus scoffed. “No, I’m not.”
Evan raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’ve been avoiding me. Which, fine, I’m used to that when you’re brooding over something. But usually, you stop after a day or two. This has been going on for nearly a week.”
Regulus hesitated, fingers twitching against his knee. Evan sighed dramatically.
“Just tell me already,” he said, stretching out his arms. “Clearly, it’s something important.”
Regulus exhaled slowly. Right. Just say it.
“I have to tell you something, Ev,” he admitted.
Evan closed his book, turning his full attention to him. “What? You can tell me, you know I won’t judge.”
Regulus swallowed, forcing himself to meet Evan’s gaze. “Me and James… Well, after I kissed him, he sought me out and told me he liked me back, so I guess we’re sort of together now.” He paused, then added, “And I just wanted to tell you because you’re one of my closest friends, and I trust you.”
For a second, Evan just stared at him, blinking once, twice, before a slow, teasing smirk spread across his face. “Aww, you trust me?” he cooed, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. “I’m honored, Reggie.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “To some extent,” he muttered. Then he narrowed his eyes. “And is that really the only thing you’re taking away from what I just said?”
Evan chuckled, shaking his head. “No, no, of course not.” His smirk turned wicked. “I’m happy for you. Truly.” His expression softened for a moment before the teasing came back full force. “And if he breaks your heart, I will maim him. And I’ll bring Pandora. She may be sweet, but she can certainly ‘accidentally’ let one of her experiments on him.”
Regulus snorted, shaking his head. “Yes, yes, I’m well aware of Dora.” He hesitated for a moment, then added, more seriously, “Thank you, Evan.”
Evan smiled, a rare, genuine one. “Of course, Reg. What would you do without me?”
Regulus smirked. “Live a fulfilling life without distractions?”
“Hey!” Evan shot him a mock-offended glare. “You know I’m your favorite.”
Regulus tilted his head in mock consideration. “Actually, Pandora is my favorite.”
Evan let out an exaggerated gasp. “How could you? After all we’ve been through? You wound me, Regulus Arcturus Black.”
Regulus simply rolled his eyes. “You’ll live.”
Evan sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his forehead like a tragic heroine in a play. “Barely.”
Regulus let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. The weight that had been sitting heavy on his chest for days felt just a little lighter.
Evan watched him for a moment, then leaned back into the sofa. His smirk softened slightly, turning into something a little more knowing.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
Regulus hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I think I do.”
Evan hummed, studying him carefully. “Well,” he said after a pause, “then I’m happy for you, Reg. But if he does anything stupid—”
“Yes, yes, you and Pandora will enact some sort of revenge in my honour or something,” Regulus interrupted dryly. “I get it.”
Evan grinned. “Yeah...or something.”
Regulus chuckled, shaking his head. Maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.
Notes:
Evan’s back yay! Love him and Regulus’ friendship! I think in the chapter after next James and Regulus will have another meeting. That's my plan anyway!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 27: Confessions and Secrets
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
James knew something was up with Sirius. It had been obvious all day. From breakfast to dinner, Sirius had been unusually fidgety. He had been tapping his fingers against the table, bouncing his leg, drumming against his goblet absentmindedly. It wasn’t just nervous energy; James knew Sirius too well for that. This was something else. He was working himself up to something, and James had a strong suspicion that whatever it was, it had to do with Remus.
By the time dinner rolled around, James had caught glimpses of whispered conversations between Sirius and Remus, their heads bent close together, eyes darting toward him when they thought he wasn’t looking. And then, finally, just as they were about to head back to the common room, Sirius stepped up beside him, clearing his throat. "Prongs, I need to talk to you."
James turned to him with an easy grin. "Yeah, of course, Padfoot."
Sirius hesitated for a moment before tugging James toward a quieter corner of the Gryffindor common room. His usual confidence was absent, replaced by something rare—uncertainty.
"I don’t know how to tell you this," Sirius started, rubbing the back of his neck. "And I don’t know how you’ll react..."
James frowned slightly, crossing his arms. "Pads, you can tell me anything, promise. I won’t judge."
Sirius took a deep breath, then finally said it. "I—I'm dating Moony." He exhaled, like saying it out loud made it real. "Me and Remus are together, and I like him. A lot."
James blinked, momentarily surprised. Not because he hadn’t suspected, he definitely had. But hearing Sirius say it, seeing the way his best mate was looking at him with this mix of nervousness and quiet defiance, made James realize how much this meant to him. He wanted James to be ok with it. Needed almost.
"Before you say anything," Sirius rushed on, "yes, I actually like him, and it’s serious- and don’t even think about making that joke right now, Prongs. But yeah, I wanted to tell you because you're like a brother to me, and you should know."
For a moment, only a moment, James just stared at Sirius. Then a slow grin broke across his face.
"Pads, I’m so happy for you, honestly. You two deserve each other." His grin turned teasing. "It’s about bloody time you got your shit together! And I'm sorry if i ever made you feel as if you couldn't tell me-"
Sirius let out a breath and the tension in his shoulders melted away. He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "Merlin, don't even think that Prongs. You're too good, of course you didn't ever make me feel that way. I don’t even know what I was worried about before."
James rolled his eyes and pulled him into a quick, firm hug. Sirius murmured a soft, "Thanks, Prongs."
After a moment, Sirius pulled back slightly, his expression turning serious again. "Also, I hope you don’t think I was keeping it from you because I don’t trust you-"
James cut him off immediately. "Don’t even start. I know you trust me, and I trust you, Pads."
Sirius let out another relieved sigh, giving James a grateful nod. "No secrets, alright?"
James opened his mouth to agree, but for the first time, guilt crept in.
No secrets.
Except he was keeping one.
A big one.
Thankfully, Sirius didn’t notice the flicker of hesitation in James’s expression. James, however, felt it heavy in his chest. He couldn’t tell him everything yet. Not about Regulus. Not yet. But he could tell him something.
"Speaking of that... I need to tell you something too," James said, shifting slightly.
Sirius raised a brow. "Yeah?"
James took a breath. "I sort of like someone." He hesitated, then added, "But it’s a boy."
Sirius froze. His expression went completely blank for a moment. "I didn't expect that...but its cool. You're still Prongs to me." Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "It better not be Moony."
James burst out laughing. "I promise, Pads, it’s not Remus."
Sirius visibly relaxed, exhaling dramatically. "Good. Because I would have fought you for him."
James smirked. "Oh, I’d win."
"Pfft, in your dreams, Potter." Sirius nudged him, but then his curiosity took over. "Alright, so who is it, then?"
James hesitated. He couldn’t say. Not yet. "I can’t tell you yet," he admitted, offering Sirius an apologetic grin.
Sirius frowned, clearly displeased. "Not even a hint?"
"Nope."
Sirius groaned dramatically but relented. "Fine. But I will figure it out."
James just shrugged, smirking. "Yeah, yeah."
As they made their way back down to the common room, James felt lighter, the weight of keeping things from Sirius easing- at least a little. He caught sight of Remus by the fireplace, and when their eyes met, Remus exhaled, something like relief flickering across his face. Somehow, Remus knew that everything was alright. James smiled, and Remus returned it, subtly, before turning back to his book.
No secrets, James thought again. He’d told Sirius half the truth. That was a start.
For now, that would have to be enough.
Notes:
I love that wolfstar are together now, I love them so much! And progress! Sirius told James! Yay!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 28: When we're Together
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The day passed slower than usual, but for once, Regulus didn’t mind. He found himself distracted- but by the anticipation of meeting James again.
It was ridiculous, really. A single meeting shouldn’t mean this much. A single person shouldn’t have this effect on him. And yet, as the hours ticked by and night crept closer, he realized just how much he was looking forward to seeing James again.
By the time he reached the familiar corridor that the Room of Requirement was in, his heart was beating a just a little faster than normal.
As he walked in he immediately saw that James was already there, leaning against a table, hands stuffed into his pockets. He glanced up as Regulus entered, and the easy grin that stretched across his face made something in Regulus’ chest tighten.
“Well, someone’s different than usual,” James teased. “Maybe a bit happier?”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t quite suppress the smile tugging at his lips. “Shut up,” he muttered, walking toward him.
James chuckled and he reached out, brushing his fingers lightly against Regulus’ wrist. “Can I kiss you?”
Regulus didn’t answer right away. Instead, he grabbed James by his tie, tugging him forward with just enough force to make James stumble slightly. Then, he kissed him.
It was slower than last time, more certain. Less hesitation, more intent. James responded immediately, his hands finding their way to Regulus’ waist, pulling him in closer. The warmth of him, the way James sighed softly against his lips- it sent a shiver down Regulus’ spine.
He pulled back just enough to whisper, “You ask too much, Potter.”
James grinned, his breath warm against Regulus’ lips. “How do I know you'll always say yes?”
Regulus scoffed but didn’t pull away. James was infuriating like that- always knowing exactly what to say, always making him feel things he wasn’t sure he was ready for.
James let his fingers trail down Regulus’ arm before threading them through his hand, lacing their fingers together as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Regulus glanced down at their hands, his usual instinct to pull away mixing in with the part of him that wanted to stay.
“You’re thinking too much again,” James murmured, pulling Regulus into the sofa with him.
Regulus sighed. “And you don’t think enough.”
James huffed out a quiet laugh, leaning his forehead against Regulus’. “Maybe. But when I’m with you, I don’t have to.”
Regulus huffed, shaking his head. “You’re insufferable.”
“And yet, here you are,” James murmured, tilting his head slightly. His thumb brushed against the back of Regulus’ hand absentmindedly, like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
Regulus wanted to say something sharp, something dismissive, but the words never came. Instead, he found himself just standing there, caught in the warmth of James’ presence, the steady rhythm of his breathing.
For once, he didn’t feel like running.
James squeezed his hand one more time before finally stepping back, though he didn’t let go entirely. “See you next week.”
Regulus rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yeah.”
James grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself, and Regulus let him. Just this once.
Notes:
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 29: If Only you Liked Me: Lily interlude
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily
Lily flopped onto her bed, savoring the comfort of the worn-out Gryffindor sheets. The dormitory was bathed in the soft, golden glow of the late afternoon sun, and the three of them- Lily, Mary, and Marlene- were sprawled across the room.
It had become a bit of a tradition for the girls to gather like this, stealing away moments from the noise and chaos of the castle. Usually, these hangouts were light and easy, full of laughter and half-hearted gossip. But today, there was a heaviness lingering in the air.
Marlene, sprawled dramatically across Lily’s pillows, finally broke the silence. “So, are we going to talk about it?”
Mary, who had been tracing patterns along her knee absentmindedly, didn’t look up. “Talk about what?” she said, feigning innocence.
Marlene shot her a look. “You know exactly what.”
Lily shifted, propping herself up on her elbows. “Marlene’s right. You don’t have to pretend you’re fine, Mary. We’re your friends.”
Mary hesitated, then sighed, tugging her legs up to her chest. “I’m fine. Really.”
Lily arched a brow. “Are you, though?”
Mary tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Okay, maybe not entirely fine.” She sighed again, more dramatically this time, and flopped backward. “But it’s not like it was some great tragic heartbreak, though. I knew it was coming.”
“You and Sirius seemed alright before,” Marlene said carefully. “What changed?”
Mary shrugged. “It was after Remus’ birthday party. He started acting... different. Not like in a mean way or anything, just more distant. Like he wasn’t really there even when he was.”
Lily frowned. “Did he say why?”
“Not right away.” Mary fiddled with the hem of her sweater, avoiding their gazes. “At first, I thought I did something. But then I realized it wasn’t that. It was him.”
Marlene tilted her head. “So, what did he say?”
“He told me he thought we’d be better off as friends. He said that he still cared about me a lot but we would be better off as friends.” Mary’s voice was steady, but the way she picked at her sleeve gave her away. “And I agreed.”
Lily’s stomach twisted. She hated seeing Mary like this- putting on a brave face when it was clear she was still untangling how she felt.
“I’m sorry, Mary,” Lily said softly.
Mary shook her head. “Don’t be. Really. It’s fine. And I could tell that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. He's not really a relationship person. I think he was trying, but it wasn’t working. And honestly? He was right.”
Marlene scoffed. “Still. You deserve someone who’s completely sure about you.”
Mary gave a dry chuckle. “Yeah, well, if only I had liked someone else.”
Lily didn’t respond, but her chest tightened as the words lingered in the air.
If only you liked me, she thought.
But she shoved the thought away as quickly as it had come. She shouldn’t think that, not now. Not when Mary had just come out of a relationship.
Marlene groaned dramatically, interrupting the moment. “You know what this calls for? Chocolate. Lots of it.”
Lily smiled, grateful for the change in tone. “And maybe some of those awful sugar quills from Honeydukes?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Marlene grinned. “We deserve to rot our teeth in peace.”
Mary laughed softly, the sound lighter than before. “You two are terrible influences.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Lily quipped. “Come on, let’s take some from the stash.”
The three of them climbed off the beds, Mary giving Lily a grateful smile as they made their way toward the small box of sweets hidden beneath Marlene’s bed. The dormitory filled with laughter as they argued over who had to break apart the last chocolate frog, and for a while, things felt normal again.
But even as they laughed, Lily couldn’t shake the echo of Mary’s words.
If only you liked someone else Mary. If only you had liked me.
Notes:
Really running out with stuff to put here....
Hope y'all liked the Lily interlude. There may be more coming soon as well!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 30: Cracks Beneath the Surface: Lily interlude
Notes:
I hope everyone's having a good Easter so far to those that are off work/school :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily
In the past month or so, things had been the same. Maybe they'd gotten worse, Lily didn’t know anymore. All she did know was that Mary was bouncing from guy to guy. Every other week, she had a different boyfriend.
It wasn’t like Mary to be like this. Lily tried not to judge; she really did. But it was hard, watching her best friend throw herself into flings over and over again with nothing to come ok of them. They always lasted a few days, and every time, Mary would laugh it off, saying it was "just a bit of fun," or that it didn't matter, but Lily saw the cracks beneath the surface.
They were sitting by the Black Lake. It was a rainless afternoon, so they took advantage of it. The watery sunlight catching on the ripples of the lake. Marlene had sprawled out in the grass beside them, lazily flipping through a magazine. Mary was perched on a rock, hugging her knees to her chest, eyes tracking a group of seventh-year Ravenclaws playing Exploding Snap nearby.
Lily finally broke the silence. “So...”
"So?" Mary asked.
"So are you going to keep doing this?" Marlene blurted.
"Doing what?" Mary pretended not to know.
"Doing what?" Lily repeated, "Doing what? Mary you know what we're talking about. It's you and...well, all of them. All of those guys, I mean, you've gone through three boyfriends since February."
“Four,” Marlene corrected absently, still flipping her magazine.
Mary shot her a look. “Thanks, Marls.”
Marlene shrugged unapologetically. “Just saying.”
There was a pause. The breeze carried the scent of wet grass and parchment from the castle. Mary toyed with a loose thread on her jumper before finally saying, “It's nothing. I'm just getting to know them. Whats wrong with that?”
“It’s not nothing and you know it,” Lily replied.
They let the silence settle for a moment. Marlene started braiding a strand of grass between her fingers. Mary watched the Ravenclaws again, a faint crease between her brows.
"It's just-" Mary looked down at her hands, fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. “It feels better, for a little while. When I’m with them, things are different.”
“Different how?” Lily asked.
Mary’s mouth twisted into something that wasn’t quite a smile. “With him I was always a little on edge around him,” she admitted. Her gaze drifted back to the lake, distant and guarded. “I never knew if what i said or did would make him....”
"What?" Lily asked cautiously.
"Sometimes he would slip away, like he wasn't himself at all. Like it was a completely different person."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, sometimes he's just not Sirius, sometimes I only see a Black that's a purist..." Mary answered.
“Oh....,” Lily trailed off and they sat in silence for a while.
Mary blinked hard and forced a laugh, though it came out thin and unconvincing. "It's fine, everything's great."
It was unconvincing but Lily didn't push. Marlene sat up properly, brushing the grass from her lap, and reached over to squeeze Mary’s shoulder. Mary gave a small, grateful smile, but her eyes were still clouded with something Lily couldn’t quite reach.
They sat there for a while longer, watching the lake lap lazily against the shore. A flock of birds passed overhead, their shadows skimming over the water. Lily wanted to say more- wanted to tell Mary she didn’t need anyone else to fill that hollow space inside her, that she didn’t have to keep breaking her own heart to feel alive. But the words felt too heavy, too fragile.
Instead, Lily scooted closer, close enough that their shoulders brushed, and rested her chin on her knees.
“Promise me something?” Lily said quietly.
Mary tilted her head, curious. “What?”
“Promise you’ll let yourself heal,” Lily said, her throat tight. “Just… give yourself time, don't throw yourself into new relationships that you don't truly want.”
Mary’s smile was sad but sincere. “I’ll try.”
And for now, Lily decided that would have to be enough.
Notes:
Poor Mary....dw things will get Marylily soon. And there was some Sirius trauma plot there, he never can escape Grimmauld place can he. I feel bad for him, but it must happen. I promise next chapter Regulus will be back!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 31: Wherever you Are
Summary:
Uh TW: implied trauma/abuse? It's very vague tho so it should be fine
Notes:
1 week until easterrr yayy. And I can finally open my egg. Hope everyone is having a good holidayyy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
It was nearly July, and the past few months with James had been… amazing. Regulus hadn't expected it to be like this- hadn't expected James to make him feel so steady and unsteady at once. Every stolen hour in the Astronomy tower, every late-night conversation by the fire in the Room of Requirement, every kiss they shared- all of it felt brighter, sharper, like he was finally living, properly living, for the first time. But beneath all of it, dread churned low in his stomach.
Summer crept closer, and creeping with it, the return to Grimmauld Place. To that house.
He didn’t want to go back there. In that house, he had to be like them. Pretend he was proud to bear the Black name. Pretend he didn’t flinch at the slur 'Mudblood' or the casual cruelty of pureblood supremacy whispered over dinner.
He wished he could stay at Hogwarts. Stay with James, even. But he couldn’t.
He’d see him again in September. When James would only have one year left.
One year. And then he’d be gone.
What would happen to them then? Would they just… end? Would James move on to someone safe, someone easy, someone who didn’t come from a family that was dark and twisted, that had expectations that he couldn't back down from?
Regulus shook his head, as if that could dislodge the thought.
No. He had to focus. His OWL results would be arriving in the summer. If he didn’t get Outstanding in everything, Mother would-
No.
He swallowed hard. He would get Outstanding in everything. He had to. There was no room for failure.
Right?
Yeah. Yeah, he’d be fine. He had to be.
“Hello, love.” James’ voice snapped him from his spiraling thoughts.
Regulus looked up to find James standing there, a warm, familiar grin tugging at his lips, brown eyes crinkled at the corners. Regulus' heart twisted in his chest.
“Hi,” he managed, a little too quietly.
James' smile faded just slightly, concern creeping in. “What’s wrong?”
Before he could think better of it, the words tumbled out, “What’s going to happen when you graduate?”
James blinked, surprise flickering across his face. “What do you mean?”
Regulus swallowed. When he spoke again his voice came softer this time, more fragile. “What’s going to happen to us when you leave Hogwarts?”
For a beat, James said nothing. His brows drew together, thoughtful, like he was truly considering the weight of the question. Then he stepped closer, until there was barely any space between them.
“Honestly,” James said, “I don’t know. But I do know that I want to be wherever you are.”
Regulus felt something sharp twist in his chest. He wanted to believe it- oh, how he wanted to. But reality clawed its way forward, cruel and determined.
“James…” Regulus hesitated, forcing the words out, heavy as iron. “I’m going to be with the Dark Lord.”
James flinched, just a flicker, but he caught it. He caught it and it made Regulus feel sick.
“No, Reg,” James said, his voice suddenly urgent. “You don’t have to. You can come with me- you don't have to fight with him- you can-”
Regulus cut him off, shaking his head. “No. I have to. I am. I will.” His eyes dropped to the floor, to James' shoes, to anywhere but James' face. “So if you want to stop this, then that’s completely fine with me. I-” His breath caught. “I get it.”
For a second, Regulus expected silence. Expected James to walk away, to leave him standing there alone. But instead, James almost laughed- a short, incredulous sound, disbelieving.
“I’m not going anywhere, love,” James said firmly. “You’d have to fight me to make me leave you.”
Slowly, Regulus looked up, and found James watching him with that same fierce determination that had always drawn him in.
Regulus' expression softened, his shoulders lowering a fraction. “All right,” he said quietly, almost a whisper.
James' smile returned, warm and crooked. “Good.”
Regulus, maybe a little desperate to steer them away from the heavy things, let the moment slip into something nicer. “So,” he said, lips quirking, “are you going to keep bragging about that ridiculous save you made in the game the other day?”
James’ grin widened. “Ridiculous? Excuse me, it was spectacular.”
Regulus let out a soft laugh, rolling his eyes. “It was lucky. And you're not even a keeper James.”
“Lucky?” James stepped closer, hands settling lightly on Regulus' waist. “I’ll show you lucky.”
And then James kissed him, sweet and certain, and for a little while, the thoughts running through Regulus' mind quieted. They kissed until their worries blurred at the edges, until Regulus could almost believe in a future beyond the war, beyond their houses, beyond everything that threatened to pull them apart.
When they broke apart, slightly breathless, James grinned. “And I am a keeper- for you.”
Regulus shook his head, but he was smiling, too. “Shut up, Potter.”
James only laughed, and they sat together beneath the warm, slanting sunlight, talking about Quidditch tactics, about summer plans that might never happen, about anything that wasn’t war or family or futures too sharp to look at directly.
For now, it was alright. It had to be.
Notes:
Regulus' worry 😭 but it's ok cus James is such a keeper lmao.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter Text
Regulus
It had been a whirlwind of a year.
Regulus hadn’t expected any of it. He certainly hadn't expected falling for James Potter. Everything between them had been unexpected, sharp, and golden, a contrast to the grey life he was so used to living. Hogwarts had always been a place of rules and expectations for Regulus, but this year, it had felt like something more. Like freedom. Like warmth.
And now it was ending. Now it was changing.
The corridors buzzed with students dragging trunks, laughing and shouting farewells, ready for the long summer ahead. Regulus walked through it all like a ghost, eyes distant, hands buried in the pockets of his robe.
Then, a hand caught his wrist. Before he could react, James was tugging him into an empty classroom and closing the door behind them.
“What-” Regulus started, but James cut him off by pulling him into a kiss.
It was firm and sure and a little desperate, like James was trying to bottle every moment they'd had into one final goodbye. Regulus kissed him back, melting into the familiarity of it, letting his fingers curl into James’ jumper.
When they finally pulled apart, James looked at him, really looked, and Regulus hated how much he was going to miss that face.
“I’ll see you in September,” James said quietly.
Regulus nodded. “Yeah. But… you know I can’t write to you.”
“I know.” James didn’t look angry or disappointed. Just sad.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus whispered.
James shook his head. “Don’t be. Just… stay safe. Promise me that.”
Regulus hesitated. I can’t promise that, he thought. Not with what’s coming. Instead, he said, “I’ll try.”
James gave him a lopsided smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “That’s all I ask.”
Another kiss. It was softer this time, like a secret, and then James opened the door and slipped back into the hallway without another word.
***
The platform was crowded, steam curling into the air, owls hooting above the noise of chattering students and frantic parents. Regulus found his friends near the back of the train, laughing about something Evan had said.
“There you are,” Dorcas called. “We thought you’d vanished.”
“Just needed to grab something,” the lie rolled smoothly off his tongue.
Pandora gave him a bright smile, her hair glowing in the sunlight. “You all packed?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, stowing his trunk. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
They climbed aboard and found a compartment together. Dorcas sprawled across one bench while Barty and Evan argued over a deck of wizard cards. Pandora sat beside Regulus, braiding her blonde hair.
“You’ll be alright this summer?” Barty asked.
Regulus gave a small smile. “Of course.”
He seemed satisfied with that. The conversation drifted toward summer plans, bizarre potion experiments Pandora wanted to try, the books Evan was going to read and so on.
But Regulus leaned back against the seat, watching the countryside blur by through the window. The smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes.
You’re out of time, his mind whispered.
He would take the mark this summer. His mother would insist. And he would say yes, like he was supposed to. Like a good son. Like a proper Black. Like an heir is suppose to. His fingers curled into the fabric of his robes.
He closed his eyes, trying to forget the feel of James’ kiss, the way his voice had said stay safe like it meant something.
Sleep consumed him and eventually he'd be home.
The train rolled on.
Notes:
Sooo it's summer for them now..... things are gonna get wayyy more interestinggg
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 33: Summer Part I
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
Summer at the Potters’ house was golden.
The air was warm and smelled of cut grass and blooming jasmine, drifting through wide open windows and lazy hallways. James had always loved the energy of home during the summer- his mum humming in the kitchen, his dad making sarcastic comments over the morning paper, the familiar creak of the floorboards he’d grown up with. But this summer already felt different.
Maybe it was because Sirius was living there now.
After running away last year, they had gone out and bought him new clothes so his wardrobe was full. He fit there, like he’d always belonged. Effie and Monty treated him like he was theirs. There was no hesitation, no questions. And Sirius let them. That was the difference.
Peter arrived the day after term ended, throwing his trunk down with a dramatic groan and asking where the biscuits were before he'd even taken off his shoes.
“Hello Peter,” Effie said with a smile, already handing him a plate.
***
Their days quickly fell into a rhythm. Sleep in, play Quidditch until they couldn’t see straight, eat everything in sight, rinse and repeat.
The back garden had become their personal pitch. James and Sirius flew circles around each other, laughing like idiots, while Peter tried, and mostly failed, to keep the score. Sirius was lightning-fast and reckless as always, and James gave as good as he got, broom tailing his best friend through apple trees and over hedges. Occasionally, Monty would come out to the porch with a drink and heckle them from his chair.
“You boys better not knock down my roses again,” he’d call, pretending to scowl.
“Not our fault your roses are within crashing distance!” James shouted mid-dive.
“They’re twenty feet from the pitch, James.”
“Exactly! Danger zone!”
And Monty just shook his head and went back inside muttering something about “bloody children.”
***
The kitchen was its own kind of paradise. Effie had taken to baking almost daily, and the scent of fresh bread, melted butter, and cinnamon hung in the air like a spell. But nothing compared to her apple pie.
James was convinced it had actual magic in it. The crust was buttery and golden, the filling just sweet enough, and it always came out of the oven warm, as if it knew exactly when they’d show up hungry and sun-drenched from the garden.
“Effie, you’re a genius,” Sirius declared with his mouth full.
Effie smiled and handed him a second slice. “You flatter me, love. And you’d better eat it all before Peter gets to it.”
Peter, naturally, had already taken a third slice while no one was looking.
***
The nights were long and filled with noise. They played endless rounds of Exploding Snap, argued over which Chocolate Frog cards were worth trading, and stayed up until 2am talking about absolutely nothing. Peter fell asleep on the couch more often than not, and Sirius liked to lazily stretch out across the whole rug.
On the third evening, James slipped outside for a bit of quiet.
The sky was painted in soft lilac and orange, the last of the sun sinking behind the hills. He sat on the porch steps, broom resting beside him, and stared at the garden as fireflies began to blink to life.
His thoughts drifted, just for a second, to a pair of grey eyes and their special room in the castle. He wondered if Regulus had made it home safely. Wondered if he was thinking of him, too.
But he didn’t linger. He couldn’t. Not now.
Inside, he could hear Sirius laughing at something Monty had said. James stood, brushing the dust from his jeans, and stepped back into the house.
Peter looked up from the floor, where he was sorting Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. “Remus is coming next week, yeah?”
James nodded. “Mum’s already making up the spare room.”
“Good,” Peter said. “It's not the same without him with us. Plus, we need someone to knock you two off your high horses.”
James grinned. “Please. Moony’s gonna cry when he sees how sunburnt Sirius is.”
Sirius tossed a cushion at his head. They all laughed, the sound echoing through the house like home.
James loved this. He loved being with his friends and just messing about.
This summer's going to be a good one.
Notes:
Aaaand we made it to summer! Summer at the Potters house it something we all need ngl like Effie and Fleamont, love them.
Also just wanted to say thanks for all the hits/kudos/bookmarks and everything it makes me smile :)
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 34: Summer Part II
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily
Lily sat on the windowsill of her bedroom, gazing out at the familiar view of Spinner’s End. The narrow street below was bathed in the greyish light of afternoon, littered with bits of rubbish and old bicycles left to rust. She could hear her mother bustling downstairs, the clink of dishes, the hum of the telly turned low. Everything was just as it always was- and yet Lily felt restless.
The door creaked open behind her. Without even looking, she knew it was Petunia.
“You’re just going to sit there all summer, then?” Petunia said, voice sharp, arms folded across her chest. “No wonder you don't have any real friends.”
Lily clenched her jaw, forcing herself to stay calm. "Fuck off Tuny, I have friends."
"You and your Freak friends," Petunia snapped. She leaned against the doorframe, nose wrinkled like she’d smelled something foul. "You and your little lot. Parading around like you’re better than everyone else."
"I never said that," Lily said tightly.
"You don't have to," Petunia sneered. "You think you're so special. But you're not."
Before Lily could find a reply, Petunia turned and stalked off, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the frame. Lily stared after her, anger prickling under her skin. It didn’t matter what she said or did- Petunia would never forgive her for being different. Grabbing her bag, Lily shoved her feet into her shoes and rushed downstairs, calling a quick goodbye to her mum before slipping outside into the warm, heavy air.
***
A few hours later, Lily was in the heart of Muggle London, weaving through crowds with a lightness she hadn't felt in days. She spotted Mary and Marlene waiting outside a little café, bright bags hanging from their arms.
“There you are!” Mary called, waving enthusiastically.
“Took you long enough!” Marlene teased, nudging Lily lightly as she joined them.
Lily laughed. “I blame Spinner’s End. It’s like a maze of sadness.”
“Fair enough,” Mary grinned. “Come on. I’m starving.”
They ducked inside the café, a cozy little place with chipped tables and the delicious smell of fried food. They snagged a spot by the window, tossing their bags underneath the table in a messy pile.
They ordered quickly, sandwiches, chips, and thick milkshakes, and fell into easy chatter while they waited. The café buzzed around them, filled with laughter and clinking dishes, and Lily felt some of the heaviness of home slipping off her shoulders.
When the food arrived, they attacked it eagerly. Lily’s grilled cheese sandwich oozed with butter and cheese, and the chips were salty and perfect. Marlene had gone for a full plate of pancakes, while Mary was already halfway through her burger.
“This is exactly what I needed,” Lily said around a mouthful of chips.
“Same,” Mary said, stealing one off her plate. “This place is magic.”
Marlene grinned. “You’re the only magic one here, Evans.”
Lily rolled her eyes but smiled, warmth settling in her chest.
They ate and talked about anything and everything, the conversation easy and relaxed. After a while, Lily found herself fidgeting with her straw, hesitating, then blurting out, “Hey- um, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”
Mary and Marlene looked up, curious.
“I’m…” Lily cleared her throat. “I’m gay.”
There was a beat of silence.
Then Marlene broke into a wide grin. “Good for you. Welcome to the club.”
Lily blinked. “I guess so.”
Marlene winked. “Yup. Girls are just better, aren’t they?”
Mary, meanwhile, mumbled, “Right...cool,” and shoved some more chips into her mouth, clearly trying to act chill but going a little red around the ears.
Lily didn't pay attention to Mary's reaction and laughed, feeling a rush of relief she hadn’t realized she needed. It felt good, so good, to say it out loud- to be known.
After they finished eating, they wandered back out into the streets, shopping bags swinging from their arms, the late afternoon sun turning the city golden. They ducked in and out of shops, laughing at terrible clothes they tried on just for the fun of it, daring each other to pick out the ugliest outfits.
At one point, Mary insisted on dragging them into a record store, claiming she needed new music for the summer. Lily and Marlene ended up flipping through the albums, arguing over which ones were actually good while Mary hummed to herself in the corner.
As the sun dipped lower, the three of them ended up perched on the steps of a fountain, tired but happy, eating ice cream cones they’d picked up from a stand. Lily stretched out her legs and leaned back, feeling the cool stone against her palms. Home wasn't easy. It probably never would be. But sitting here, laughing with Mary and Marlene, knowing she could be herself around them, Lily realized something important.
She had built her own little world, her own kind of home: one full of people who accepted her exactly as she was.
Notes:
Ah my dear Lily....ofc your friends will accept you honeyyy. Uh before yall start to hate Mary I promise she isn't being homophobic, next time it's Lily pov it will be her and Mary talking.
Next chapter it's Regulus pov!
Tysm for reading :)
Chapter 35: Summer Part III
Summary:
Yayayay we reached 1000 hitssss!! I'm so happy thank you alllll and thank you all for the kudos and comments/suggestionsss. It makes me happy to know yall are enjoying this fanfic so far :)
Notes:
I am sorry....
🚨CWs and TWs: mild suicidal ideation/self-loathing/emotional abuse/dark thoughts/internalised homophobia/pain (and we have dear Walburga to thank for this)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus stepped off the train and onto the platform, his friends' laughter still echoing faintly in his ears. He exchanged quick goodbyes- nods, brief hugs, promises to write that none of them would keep. And then he saw his elf.
Kreacher stood alone at the edge of the crowd, waiting.
Regulus wasn’t surprised his parents hadn’t come. He hadn't expected them to. Just Kreacher, solemn and silent, ready to bring him home.
Without a word, he followed the house-elf to a quiet corner of the station, and together they Disapparated.
Grimmauld Place was just as cold and dark as he remembered. This was going to be a long summer.
***
A few weeks into the summer and everything was, surprisingly, normal. But he supposed that was only because his parents hadn’t been home.
Yet.
And he knew that was going to change soon. It was only a matter of time.
In the meantime he took the opportunity to read. Not just anything- he'd read about the dark arts. He knew that a powerful wizard like the Dark Lord had to be using something other than spells.
The way mother had talked about him it sounded as though he had found some extraordinary magic. Regulus just had to find out whay magic that was. To defeat him. Maybe? Maybe not? He doesn't know yet.
He knew this was dangerous. He knew that it had a lot of risks. He knew that he could be killed if his mother found out, but he had to try. He had to.
He'd spent years just following his mother's order and instructions even though he didn't believe them. Well, not really. But he was going to change. He keeps telling himself that and now he's really starting to believe it. For Sirius. For- him. One other person who had changed his life in such a short amount of time.
So he read. And he read and he read and he read.
***
Pain is relative.
And there is a searing pain in his forearm.
That was all he could feel.
It was funny, really. Regulus didn’t think it would hurt this much. Pain is relative after all. He'd been tortured countless amounts of times- cruel, hurtful times that had left him in a heap on the floor or gasping for air. But this? This was something else. Maybe it was the finality of it, the irreversible nature of the mark that had just been branded onto his skin. That made it much, much worse.
He didn’t think he’d have to do this at all. But deep down, he knew he had accepted his own fate. He knew this would happen. He knew his mother would make him.
As soon as she came back to Grimmauld Place he knew it was time. He knew that there was no way he was skating by this time. He'd delayed it long enough and his mother wouldn't allow it any more.
Pain.
So much pain. He almost couldn't bear it. Almost. But being a Black and all...he wasn't a stranger to pain. He hadn't wanted this though...he hadn't wanted this at all.
Now what could he do?
Now what about James?
Oh God, James.
What will he do when he finds out?
He won’t want you. Why would he ever want you? I’m sure you’re just some entertainment for him. A way to kill time. The voice of his mother slithered into his thoughts.
That’s not true. He likes me. He likes me. He wouldn’t do that. Would he?
Ah, but now you’ve got that hideous tattoo on your arm. What do you think he’ll do then?
He- he… What would James do? Surely James would at least hear him out. Right?
When one does something unforgivable, should one really be given any more chances? his mother quipped.
Shut up. He’ll… he’ll let me tell him why at least. I know him.
But do you? Do you really know him? I’m sure he’ll hate you after. But don’t worry- you’ll be the greatest heir of House Black.
I don’t want to be your fucking heir! I want to live. I want to live.
You can still live… just pick the right side, Regulus. Do you really think that the Potter boy will forgive you for this. You might hope he will- but he won’t, Walburga hissed.
How the fuck would you know anything? You’re nothing but a voice in my head. He might. He might. He might forgive me.
But that’s the thing, little one. I am only a voice inside your head, which means you agree with what I’m saying. Which means you are thinking exactly what I’m thinking.
That- that's….. I hate you. I really fucking do. I should’ve left with Sirius.
But you didn’t. Did you? Wonder why that is, Regulus? You didn’t leave. And now- you. Will. Be. The. Perfect heir. No escaping this time.
Fuck off, Mother.
I almost can’t believe that you're a Black. You’re really pathetic, you know. Just a pathetic, little, corrupted boy. Corrupted by the Potter boy into being this abhorrent filth of a human, in believing that he will be able to love you. Who could love you? You are nothing more than pawn in my game, in this war. So get it into your head. The Potter boy will leave you when he finds out what you've done. And this silly little charade you've got going on will end, and you'll marry a girl of my choosing, like a proper heir should.
Shut the fuck up! He won't leave me, he can't leave me. I won't marry anyone you choose, I won't even let you try and sway my decision about it.
Oh don't get so angry little one, you know its true, deep down you knew that it was never going to last. And yet you let yourself believe anyway. What a foolish thing to do, but I suppose what did I expect from and unnatural thing like you. But not to worry little one. Mother is always here to guide you in the right direction.
Here to guide me to my end more like.
He almost rolls his eyes but then he realises that someone was speaking.
That snapped him out of his haze.
Someone was talking to Regulus. He had to answer. He couldn’t falter- not even for a second.
Get up. You have to stand up.
Regulus looked up and slowly tried to rise. He managed, just barely.
“Ah. Well done. Most tend to pass out after receiving the Dark Mark. It is clear you have great willpower. Though that is not surprising at all- you are a Black, most Noble and ancient family. You have one of the purest bloodlines; I commend you for that. I also commend you for choosing to join my ranks. It is a wise choice; we will change this world and get rid of all the mudbloods."
This wasn't my choice but whatever.
The voice was cold. A voice Regulus could only assume to be the Dark Lord.
You can’t falter.
“Thank you, my Lord. It is my honour to serve you in this war.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is. Now, I will be waiting to see you at the next meeting, Regulus Black. You have great promise and will be an asset to my cause. I am sure you will rise to your potential and become a great dark wizard that is feared by many. Just stick with me. Do not mess this opportunity up.”
Before Regulus could say anything else, the Dark Lord Disapparated.
The other Death Eaters who had been watching quickly followed, disappearing in a swirl of shadows. As soon as the last one vanished, Regulus collapsed to the floor, his body unable to support him any longer. The exhaustion hit him like a tidal wave.
Everything went black.
Notes:
Soooo how are we feeling?
Yall knew this was coming...but I apologise. So Reggie has the dark mark now.... *deep breathes*.
Regulus: wait a minute, voldemort can't be this good on only a few zipity zapity spells
Also Regulus: lemme jus- lemme just read abt this real quickAlso I won't be able to post for 2 weeks cus I have exams and I need to pass them all, sorryyy. Sooo I'll be back on the 24th which is a Saturday and I'll post and then the schedule will go back to normal (on Sundays).
Don't worry I promise I won't dissappear, I have like the next 10 chapter planned I just don't have time to wrote them rn!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 36: Summer Part IV
Summary:
New pov unlockedddd. Introducing Barty Crouch Jr!
Heyyy! I'm super happy to be back! I'm still getting my tests back but I've passed them all so far yayyy!
Hope ppl are going to be having a great half term :)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Barty
"Regulus. Regulus!"
Evan's voice was urgent, panicked. He was crouched over Regulus, hands trembling as he gently shook his friend’s shoulders. Regulus didn’t respond- his face was pale, too still.
"He's unconscious. Dammit, Barty, he's unconscious, what do we do?" Evan’s voice cracked, breaking the tense silence of the clearing. Around them, the last of the Death Eaters had already disapparated, leaving the three of them alone.
Barty stared at Regulus, his eyes flicking to the fresh Dark Mark seared into his forearm. He swallowed hard. “We… we get him somewhere safe. We- uh- we can go to my house. No one’s home.”
Evan looked up, startled. “Your house?”
“Yeah. My parents are out at some Ministry thing. Won’t be back for days. It’s safe.”
Thankfully, who knows what they would've done. He almost shuddered at the thought. If his father found out it would piss him off though... nope. Nope, now is not the time Barty, you have to get Regulus somewhere safe.
Evan nodded quickly, the panic still in his eyes, and Barty reached out instinctively, wrapping him in a brief hug. “Hey. He’ll be alright, Ev. He’ll be okay. I promise.”
Evan gritted his teeth, blinked hard, and slipped an arm under Regulus’s back, hoisting him as gently as he could. “Okay. Let’s go.”
With a final glance around the empty clearing, the two boys disapparated.
***
The next few days passed in a haze of worry and waiting. They laid Regulus down on the couch in Barty’s sitting room, transfigured a blanket to keep him warm, and took turns watching over him.
Evan barely slept, always hovering nearby, brushing Regulus’s hair from his face or rewetting the cloth for his forehead. Barty tried to keep the house in order- making food neither of them touched, pacing the halls whenever Evan wasn’t looking.
They didn’t talk about what had happened. Not yet. The Dark Mark felt like a shadow hanging over them all, and neither boy knew how to face it.
But on the morning of the third day, just as sunlight streamed through the dusty windows, Regulus stirred.
It was subtle at first- a twitch of fingers, the faintest crease in his brow. Then he groaned softly and blinked his eyes open, squinting into the light.
Barty had been asleep in an armchair nearby, but Evan was already leaning forward.
“Reg? Regulus?”
Regulus’s eyes flicked toward the voice. He winced as he sat up slowly, everything aching. “What… happened?”
“You passed out,” Barty said, now fully awake. “After- after the ceremony.”
Evan nodded quickly. “You got the Mark, then just collapsed. Scared the shit out of us.”
Regulus’s brow furrowed. He looked down at his forearm and saw it- the Dark Mark, still angry and red. His face twisted with something unreadable.
"Where am I?" Regulus questioned.
"My house," Barty replied.
"Your parents?"
"Gone on some Ministry business. Went be back for a few more days."
“How long was I out?” Regulus asked.
“Two days,” Evan said softly.
Regulus’s eyes widened. “Two- wait. What about my parents? What did they say when I didn't come home? Did they… did they ask where I was?”
“I told them you were staying at mine,” Barty replied. “With Evan. They didn’t seem to care.”
Regulus frowned. “They were okay with that? Really?”
“They were… oddly fine. Guess they figured it was part of the process or something. You know how your mum gets when she thinks her plans are finally being put in motion.”
Regulus didn’t answer. He just stared at the Mark again, jaw tight. Evan reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’re okay now,” he said gently. “You’re safe. We’ve been here the whole time.”
Barty stood and stretched. “And I’m starving. Come on, Reg- let’s get you something to eat. You haven’t had anything in days.”
Regulus looked up at him. “I'm fine. I'm not hungry Barty- ”
“Yes, you are,” Barty interrupted. “You’re eating. No arguments.”
He disappeared into the kitchen and returned ten minutes later with a tray balanced on one arm, loaded with sandwiches, fruit, and a pot of tea. He set it down on the table next to them with a flourish.
Evan immediately picked up a sandwich and offered it to Regulus, who took it reluctantly but ate slowly. Barty sat back down and grabbed his own, watching his friends carefully.
“I really am glad you’re okay,” he said after a while, voice quieter than usual.
Regulus looked up from his sandwich, eyes meeting Barty’s. “Thanks. For bringing me here. For… staying.”
Evan nodded. “You don’t have to thank us. We’re your friends.”
A small smile tugged at Regulus’s mouth. He still looked pale, still exhausted, but some of the tension in his shoulders had eased.
The three of them ate in comfortable silence. No talk of the Dark Lord. No lectures. No war. Just three boys in a borrowed moment of peace- friends sharing food in a sunlit room, holding onto each other like the world couldn’t touch them here.
Notes:
Aftermath of the Dark Mark.... at least it ends on a kinda happy note? But nowww we have Barty pov, trust me it will be interestinggg.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 37: Summer Part V
Summary:
Happy Pride month! 🏳️🌈
Notes:
Hello amazing people! Another sunday another chapter!
🚨Cws/tws: implied psychological abuse/emotional manipulation/abuse/self harm (not graphic)/trauma/just general Black family unrealistic standards and Walburga's control over Regulus
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The silence in Grimmauld Place was deafening.
Not the kind of silence that was peaceful, or even still. No- this was the heavy, brittle silence of a house that had known too many secrets, too many arguments, too many unspoken words. It wrapped around Regulus as he stepped over the threshold, Kreacher silently shutting the front door behind him.
He could feel the house watching him, every crack in the wallpaper, every portrait with dust-covered eyes, every corner cloaked in shadow. It was all so familiar, so dreadfully unchanged.
And yet it felt different, like it had changed. He knew it hadn't thought, he knew that he was the one who had changed.
He walked slowly toward the drawing room, his footsteps quiet against the old wooden floors. His arm still ached, the skin there was still a little tender. The Mark- his Mark- was hidden beneath his sleeve, but it throbbed like it wanted to be seen, like it wanted to announce what he’d done. What he’d become.
He paused at the threshold of the main living room. She was there, of course- sitting up straight in her favourite high-backed chair, dressed in dark emerald robes that shimmered faintly in the candlelight. Her eyes flicked up to meet his.
“Regulus,” Walburga said, her voice cool and measured, as though nothing had happened at all. As though she hadn’t forced his future into a box and chained it shut. “You’re back.”
He swallowed and stepped inside, standing stiffly a few feet away from her and nodded.
She raised a sharp eyebrow. “Where exactly were you?”
“I… stayed at Barty’s.”
“Barty Crouch Jr.?” she asked, voice neutral, but Regulus could already hear the gears turning in her mind.
“Yes,” he said carefully.
His mother didn’t respond right away. She rose from her seat and walked toward him slowly, the train of her robes brushing the floor behind her.
“His family is respectable. Not flawless, but useful. And Barty himself- he has promise. Passion. That much is clear. He has chosen the right side, unlike his insolent father. But you, Regulus… you are different.” She came to a stop in front of him, her eyes scanning his face. “You understand things. You’ve always been clever. Not like your brother.”
Regulus flinched at that, even though she said it like a compliment.
“Tell me,” she said, lowering her voice, “did it hurt?”
He looked away. “A bit.”
"Face me when you speak to me little one," She ordered.
He turned to face her. "Yes."
Walburga smiled faintly. “Good. Pain reminds us that our choices matter. That they are real.”
There was a beat of silence. Then she said the words he never thought he’d hear.
“You’ve done well, Regulus. You’ve followed the path you were meant to. You have done what I always hoped you would. You have made me proud.”
He stared at her.
Proud.
It didn’t feel real.
He'd waited nearly sixteen years to hear that. He had cut himself over and over so there was blood. He had endured countless torture curses from his mother and father. He had twisted himself inside out trying to be enough- always trying to fill the role. Always trying to meet all those standards, to earn even a sliver of affection from her. Every lesson memorized, every meal eaten in perfect posture, every obedient nod, every thing he'd done to try and be the perfect son- all of it for this. Just to hear those words. All he ever wanted was for someone to tell him that they were proud of him. That's all he ever wanted, really.
Only those words. Those five words.
You have made me proud.
Something clenched tight in his chest. He should be happy. And some part of him was. A small, desperate part of him lit up at her words, glowed like it had been starved of warmth its entire life.
But another part- the part that still ached from the branding, the part that remembered James’ laughter, the way Sirius had told him to run- that part felt sick, disgusted, repulsed even.
“Yes mother, thank you,” he said quietly.
“You should be proud of yourself,” she continued, stepping even closer. Her hand rested lightly on his shoulder- an odd, foreign gesture. “You are the heir I always dreamed of. You are everything your brother was too weak to be, everything that he couldn't be.”
Regulus swallowed hard.
He wanted to pull away. He wanted to scream.
Instead, he nodded. “Yes, Mother.”
“Good,” she said, stepping back. “Don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget what this means. Don't forget that you have a job to do. We are the most Noble and Ancient House of Black. We are the blood that will shape the future. You have made the right choice, now I will help you become even greater than you ever could on your own.”
He felt a little sick. "Yes, Mother."
"You know everything I do, I do it because I love you."
What? Did Regulus hear that right?
Then she turned, her robes swirling as she returned to her chair. She didn’t need to say anything else. The conversation was over.
But inside, Regulus was unraveling.
He climbed the stairs to his room like a ghost, each step heavier than the last. The door creaked open and shut behind him, and for the first time in days, he was alone.
He collapsed onto his bed, breathing hard.
His mother was proud of him. His mother loved him.
And what had it cost?
Everything.
His freedom. His future. Sirius. James.
He stared at the ceiling, his eyes dry even though he felt like crying.
Maybe it would’ve been easier if she’d never said it.
Maybe it would’ve hurt less if she’d never said that she'd loved him at all.
Notes:
At least she loves him right? Nah I'm just kidding conditional love is never really love. Poor Reggie :( he'll be ok....eventually
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 38: Summer Part VI
Summary:
Heyyy sry I didnt post last week its been a long week and a ton of stuff happend but I'm back yay!
As my apologies, I give you wolfstar :)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Remus
The cold had teeth that day, biting into every exposed inch of skin as Remus trudged up the snow-dusted hill to the Potters’ front door. His scarf was wrapped high, his breath curling in clouds as he approached the warm glow of the house. Laughter echoed faintly through the window, and his chest loosened a little, the way it always did when he knew he was about to see James, Sirius and Peter.
He hadn’t even raised a hand to knock when the door burst open.
“Finally!” James exclaimed, eyes bright behind his glasses, hair even more chaotic than usual. “We were about to send Padfoot out to sniff for you like some tragic love-struck hound.”
“Oi!” Sirius’s voice called from deeper in the house. “I’m not that desperate. Though he did take his bloody time!”
Remus stepped inside, already smiling. Warmth enveloped him immediately- the scent of sweet food, a roaring fire, and something that might’ve been cinnamon or might’ve been another one of James’ “experimental” cooking efforts.
“I didn’t realize my arrival was so urgently awaited,” he said dryly, unwrapping his scarf.
“Only because you were supposed to be here an hour ago,” Peter chimed in, peeking out from the living room where he was curled up under a blanket, popcorn bowl in hand. “Sirius has been pacing around all day waiting for you to come.”
“I don’t pace,” Sirius said, finally appearing at the foot of the stairs, leaning casually against the banister like he hadn’t been practically jumping with anticipation just minutes earlier. “I just loiter dramatically.”
Remus laughed softly. Merlin, he’d missed them.
And then Sirius was in front of him, eyes searching his face for a moment, like checking if he was really here- if everything was okay.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey,” Remus replied, voice softer than he meant.
There was a pause, something lingering in the air between them, like a thread pulling tight. Then Sirius reached out and took one of Remus’ cold hands in both of his, rubbing his thumbs along the knuckles. “You’re freezing, Moons.”
“You’re warm,” Remus murmured, and he didn’t mean just temperature.
Sirius smiled- that small, crooked smile he only ever wore around him- and didn’t let go.
James cleared his throat. Loudly. “Alright, alright, you two can make eyes at each other and kiss another time, let's at least watch a movie first, yeah?”
Sirius rolled his eyes, but tugged Remus along by the hand into the living room where Peter had claimed the most comfy seat. The couch was already half-covered in blankets and mismatched pillows, and by the time all four of them had squished into place, it felt more like a large pile than a seating arrangement.
Sirius ended up next to Remus, obviously, pressed against his side like he belonged there.
As James fiddled with the enchanted Muggle projector (something Remus really didn't want to know how he'd managed to get ahold of or get working), Sirius leaned in and whispered, "Missed you."
It was barely audible over Peter’s popcorn munching and James’ dramatic cursing as he tried to get the film to start.
Remus turned slightly, brushing his nose against Sirius’ temple. “I missed you too.”
“You shouldn’t stay away so long.”
“It was only a week or so. Also my mum says hi,” Remus told him.
Sirius glanced sideways at him, something unreadable flickering in his eyes but he smiled nonetheless. Then he nodded once and shifted closer to Remus, and they waited to watch the movie.
The movie finally started, flickering on the far wall. James immediately began quoting every second line, and Peter started rating the dramatic sound effects.
Remus let it all wash over him, the noise, the warmth, the chaotic safety of it. Halfway through, Sirius curled into his side and pulled Remus’ arm around his shoulders. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Remus shook his head. “Never.”
Sirius’ head rested against his chest, his breathing evening out. Remus held him there, hand brushing lightly along the curve of his arm, feeling his heart settle for the first time in weeks.
He looked around- James laughing too loud at his own jokes, Peter smiling with cheeks full of chocolate buttons, Sirius pressed against him like he never wanted to move- and a warm feeling returned to his chest.
This is home.
Not a house. Not a bloodline. Just this.
The people who stayed.
The ones who loved you anyway.
***
After the house had finally quieted, and the flickers of candlelight went out as the Marauders retreated to their rooms. Remus found himself lingering in the living room, the soft hum of the dying fire the only sound in the space.
Sirius appeared behind him, a shadow in the half-light, slipping into the seat next to him. He didn’t say anything, just settled close enough for their shoulders to touch.
Remus let out a slow breath. “It’s been... a long week.”
Sirius nodded, his fingers finding Remus’ hand and lacing together with a tenderness that never failed to ground him.
“You don’t have to say it.”
“I know.” Remus smiled faintly. “I just... I forget sometimes that I don’t have to carry it all alone.”
Sirius squeezed his hand gently. “You never have to. Not with me.”
They sat like that, wordless, until Sirius shifted closer, tilting his head to rest against Remus’ temple.
“Do you think it’ll get easier?” Sirius asked softly.
Remus thought about the scars beneath his clothes, the nights spent hiding his pain, the exhaustion of pretending. “Maybe not easier,” he said slowly, “but... more bearable. If you, James and Pete.”
Sirius smiled against his skin, a small, hopeful thing. “We’ll be with you. And sorry we couldn't be there last week.”
For the first time in a long while, the weight on his chest lightened, replaced by something quieter- a steady pulse of comfort.
"Don't apologise, it's not your faults. I'm just happy that I get to see you all now."
Sirius nodded and shifted slightly, brushing a stray lock of hair from Remus’ forehead. “You sure that you're ok?”
“Yeah,” Remus said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Then let's sleep,” Sirius said softly, his thumb tracing gentle circles on the back of Remus’ hand. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Remus smiled, warmth blooming in his chest. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
They stood and moved together to the guest room where Remus was staying. Sirius pulled the blankets over them both, pulling Remus close. His voice was quiet but firm.
“No matter what comes tomorrow, I’ve got you.”
Remus closed his eyes, feeling safe and seen for the first time in a long time.
“I've got you to,” he whispered back.
Notes:
Ahsjdjfdjs I love Wolfstar sooo muchhh. They are actually too cute. Also Remus and his mum's relationship will be explained more later.
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 39: What it Costs to Want
Notes:
Hello lovely ppl! Sunday has arrived again and here's another chapter :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The Hogwarts Express had never felt so loud.
Regulus sat in their usual compartment, the worn seat beneath him vibrating slightly with the rhythm of the train. Barty sat on his left, knee bouncing in a restless pattern that hadn’t stopped since they left King’s Cross. Evan lounged across from him, trying to look at ease, but his eyes flicked too often to the window, to the corridor, to nothing at all. Pandora was curled into the corner with a book in her lap, not really reading, and Dorcas had one boot up on the seat, twirling her wand between her fingers as she made dry comments about what this year at school would be like.
No one mentioned their summer.
No talk of any meetings in shadowy rooms.
Nothing of whispered promises of power.
Not the Mark now hidden beneath Regulus' sleeve.
Pandora and Dorcas didn't know anyway. Barty and Evan were there but it was like there was some unspoken agreement not to say anything to the rest of their friends. They had agreed to pretend. Just for a little while. Maybe for as long as they could pretend.
Just until everything started to get better.
He was good at pretending.
Pandora's voice broke him from his thoughts. She spoke about her cousin's estate in southern France, her voice light and animated. Dorcas mocked her terrible French accent, grinning around a fizzing sweet she had nicked from a trolley cart. Evan laughed too loudly. Barty made a weak joke that didn’t quite land.
Regulus nodded along, even smiled when prompted, but his mind was somewhere else.
He could feel James Potter’s presence like a sixth sense- not see, not hear, not smell, but feel. The way a storm hums just before the first crack of thunder. Every step on the train felt like it brought him closer, like they might round a corner and collide, like Regulus might look up and see him in the reflection on the glass.
He had made a decision. It had been a clear, sharp one. He was going to avoid James Potter.
No more letters. No more glances. No more stolen moments. No more anything.
He had to.
Because Regulus Black had made his choice, and he wasn’t allowed the kind of softness James offered. He wasn’t allowed to be someone else. Someone better.
And if he let himself fall again, he might not survive the landing.
Hogwarts hadn’t changed. Same arches. Same staircases. Same tapestry on the fifth-floor corridor with the trolls and the ballet shoes.
And yet, everything was different.
Regulus walked with his head high, uniform perfect, expression unreadable. The son of Walburga Black. The heir of a noble house. No one saw how his fingers twitched when a professor passed. No one saw the tiny tremor when Sirius strode by without a glance.
***
Three days.
Three full days of avoiding James.
Of sitting on the opposite side of every classroom. Of leaving five minutes early for meals. Of walking the long way to Arithmancy just to avoid the corridor outside the Gryffindor common room. Every time their paths almost crossed, Regulus turned around. Every time he heard James’ voice- too warm, too familiar- something inside him clenched.
And every time, he reminded himself: This is safer. Pretend.
But Hogwarts wore down walls. The longer he held them up, the heavier they got.
On the fourth night, Regulus climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower long after curfew. He didn’t bring a cloak. The chill in the air bit at his skin as he stepped out onto the stone platform, but he didn’t care.
He needed air. He needed quiet.
He needed a place where the world couldn’t reach him for a while.
He leaned against the railing and looked up. The stars were dim tonight. Hidden behind wisps of cloud that caught the moonlight. His arms folded across his chest, fingers curled into the sleeves of his jumper like he could anchor himself to something.
The door creaked open behind him.
He knew who it was before he turned.
“Regulus,” came the voice he’d been trying not to crave.
James.
Regulus didn’t turn around. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Neither should you,” James said softly.
“But here we are.”
There was a beat of silence, only the wind speaking between them.
“I’ve been looking for you,” James continued.
Regulus exhaled slowly, but it still shook. “I know.”
“Three days. You didn’t even look at me. I thought…” James trailed off, voice rougher now. “I thought maybe it was over.”
Regulus turned then, slowly, the stone cold against his back. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. You didn't say anything at all.” James took a step closer. “Why are you avoiding me?”
Regulus looked away, jaw tight. “Because I have to.”
“You don’t.”
“I do,” Regulus snapped, then flinched at his own tone. He took a breath, softer this time. “I thought staying away would make it easier.”
James blinked. “Easier for who?”
Regulus didn’t answer.
James stepped forward again, close now. Close enough that Regulus could see the curve of his mouth, the concern in his brow. "I know you said you couldn't write but I thought you would at least find a way to tell me that you were alright.”
Regulus’s eyes flicked down. “My mother… wouldn’t have allowed it. You know that.”
James nodded slowly. “Yeah. I figured. I just… it felt like you disappeared.”
“I wanted to write,” Regulus whispered. “Every single day. But even thinking about you felt dangerous.”
James reached for him, not touching yet, just a hand near his sleeve. “Why are you here, then? You knew that outside if the Slytherin common room I would be able to find you.”
Regulus shrugged. “I didn’t plan to be. I just needed to breathe. And I still don't know how you manage to find me.”
“Well thats a secret, but I'll tell you some other time.”
“Yeah,” Regulus breathed. “Ok.”
Another pause. Closer now. James’ hand brushed against Regulus’.
Regulus didn’t move.
“I missed you,” James said. “All summer.”
Regulus nodded, eyes burning. “I missed you too, Jamie.”
“Then stop pushing me away. Also, Jamie?” James grinned at that.
“Shush," Regulus told him.
James chuckled.
"I don’t know how to keep you,” Regulus said, voice cracking. “But I know how to hurt you. I know how to destroy things.”
James didn’t flinch. “You don’t scare me.”
Regulus met his eyes. Slowly. Carefully. Like if he looked too long, the world might break.
And then James kissed him.
No build-up. No hesitation.
It was soft, but full of passion, full of everything they hadn’t said, everything they weren’t allowed to want. Regulus let himself melt into it. His hands curled into James’ neck, holding tight, like maybe this moment could hold him together.
So much for avoiding him.
They pulled apart only when the wind stole their breath.
"We shouldn't have done that," Regulus said.
"I will have to disagree with you on that," James replied. "You know I think that I really like you Regulus Black."
"I think I that I really like you too James Potter."
James grinned and leaned forward, resting his forehead lightly against Regulus’. “We should stay like this for a while.”
"I think we should- yes," Regulus agreed.
He let James wrap his arms around him, pull him close.
He wanted this. Merlin, He wanted this so much.
So he didn’t cry. He didn’t speak.
He just stayed. Let himself be held.
And for one night- one impossible, borrowed night- everything was okay.
Even if the rest of his world was waiting to fall apart.
Notes:
Ahhh finally we have returned to hogwarts, even tho it wasn't the best start at least reg and James are together againnn :)
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 40: Falling, Quietly
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
James was in a good mood.
Too good, apparently.
Sirius had pointed it out twice already that week, once in Transfiguration when James actually stayed awake for the whole lesson, and again at dinner when he, in Sirius' words "spaced out looking dreamy". Both times, Sirius had squinted at him like he was trying to read his mind.
“You’re being weird,” Sirius said now, sprawled across James’s bed like he lived there, which, to be fair, he kind of did. “Like… unnervingly cheerful. Suspiciously well-behaved. You’ve said ‘please’ twice today.”
James, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor surrounded by Charms notes, rolled his eyes. “Maybe I’ve just matured.”
“Bullshit.”
“Language,” Remus muttered from the armchair beside the window, a quill tucked behind his ear.
"Like you can say anything Moony," Sirius continued. “No, but seriously. What gives, Prongs?”
James shrugged, trying to keep his smile in check. “I’m just… in a good mood. Can’t a bloke be happy without it being a national crisis?”
“Not you, no,” Sirius said flatly. “You don’t just randomly turn into a functioning human being unless something’s going on.”
James grabbed a cushion off the bed and lobbed it at his head. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Which means it is a big deal,” Peter added from the corner, where he was diligently making a colour-coded revision chart that looked suspiciously like something Remus had guilted him into doing.
James rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding Sirius’s piercing stare. “Just… don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried,” Sirius said. “I’m curious. You’ve got that look.”
“What look?”
“That look! That stupid glowy look. Like you’ve been snogging someone behind a tapestry or something.”
James nearly choked on air.
Remus glanced up; he looked amused and was smirking a little. “Are you Prongs?”
“I- no! I mean- no...” James coughed. “Shut up.”
Sirius smirked. “So there is someone who has been snogging you.”
Peter blinked. “Wait, really?”
James shook his head and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. “We’re supposed to be revising, remember? NEWTs? Ringing any bells? They're not the far away y'know. We need to get all the studying anf practice in when we can.”
“Nice deflection,” Sirius muttered, still eyeing him. “But this isn’t over, Prongs.”
Remus, mercifully, saved him by launching into a long-winded rant about the upcoming Charms exam, dragging them all back into study mode. For the next hour, their dorm was filled with the sound of parchment rustling, Peter’s frustrated sighs, and Sirius humming under his breath while doodling a very unhelpful diagram of how NOT to make a Memory Charm work.
James tried to focus. He did. But every few seconds, his mind drifted.
To a stone railing under a starlit sky.
To a room filled with memories of them.
To a kiss that had pulled the ground out from under him.
To quiet words whispered like they might shatter the world if said too loudly.
Regulus.
He could still feel the echo of that night. Not just the kiss- though that had been bloody incredible- but the moment after. The quiet. The way Regulus hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken. Just let James hold him like it was the only thing keeping him upright.
James had wanted to ask a thousand questions.
But he hadn’t.
Because Regulus had looked like someone trying not to fall apart. And James had decided, for once, that being there was enough.
Now though? It was getting harder not to say anything.
Especially with Sirius looking at him like he was two seconds from demanding answers at wandpoint.
How are you supposed to tell your best mate you’re dating his younger brother?
Answer: You don’t. Not yet.
But Merlin, it was getting harder to pretend. Especially when everything about Regulus still lingered on his skin.
“Earth to James,” Remus said, snapping his fingers in front of James’s face.
James blinked. “What?”
“You haven’t written a single note in twenty minutes,” Remus said mildly. “Are you okay?”
James nodded quickly. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
The room settled back into quiet. James exhaled, sinking deeper into his notes, heart beating just a little too fast.
NEWTs were coming.
The world was shifting. Everything felt like it was waiting.
And James?
Without even realizing it, James was falling in love with Regulus Black.
Hopelessly and madly.
***
The next morning at breakfast, it got worse.
Regulus walked into the Great Hall with Barty Crouch Jr. and Evan Rosier at his sides, their conversation low and indistinct. He didn’t even glance James’ way- but James saw the way his fingers twitched briefly at his side, and he started to play with his rings.
Silver rings.
The rings James got him.
Oh shit, how am I going to survive this.
James barely tasted his food. He heard Sirius and Peter talking about Quidditch strategy, heard Remus politely remind them they hadn’t even made the final lineup yet, but James was elsewhere.
The night in the Astronomy Tower replayed in his head again.
The way Regulus had leaned into him.
"I wanted to write. Every single day..... I missed you Jamie."
The way he’d kissed him back like he needed to.
James dropped his spoon.
Sirius blinked. "You good?"
"Fine," James muttered, brushing it off. "Just clumsy."
Remus gave him a long look. James avoided it.
He could keep this secret a while longer. Just until they were both ready. Just until James could figure out a way to say it without blowing everything to bits.
But fuck, he misses him already.
And it had only been a night.
Notes:
Sirius is starting to clock stuff... but he's still pretty oblivious lol. And remus just casually being like I know all but ill just bluff and make fun of you silently. And James is just there falling for reg *giggles*
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 41: A Quiet Kind of Ruin
Notes:
Sorry this is so late. Honestly I forgot cus I've been out most of the day 😅 but on the plus side I'm almost on summer break :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus had never been good at lying to James.
But he’d made his choice. And now he had to live with it.
His mother’s voice echoed in his head like a curse he couldn’t shake.
He'll never forgive you.
It was from weeks ago, but the words returned louder now. Colder. More final. Her voice curled around the corners of his thoughts like smoke, creeping into moments of silence.
He wanted to tell James everything. Every horrible, dark thing. About the Mark. The meetings. The way his own skin still burned like it hadn't healed properly. But the truth felt like a death sentence. Not for him- he could handle pain. But for whatever fragile, delicate thread was holding him and James together.
So he didn’t tell him.
But the guilt didn’t go away.
Later that day, Regulus found Evan lying in the grass near the lake, half in shadow, sketchbook open across his chest. He wasn’t sketching anything cheerful. The lines were sharp, urgent, abstract. Like he was trying to bleed something onto the page that words couldn’t carry.
Regulus sat beside him in the grass, legs crossed, eyes fixed on the grey clouds rolling above the Black Lake.
They didn’t speak for a while. A quiet wind blew across the water, rustling the leaves and the pages of Evan’s sketchbook.
Finally, Regulus said, “He keeps looking at me like nothing happened.”
Evan didn’t look up. He continued dragging his pencil across the page. “That’s how they are. Gryffindors. They care with everything. Until you make one tiny mistake and then they don’t.”
Regulus plucked at a blade of grass. “I can’t tell him.”
Evan paused his drawing. His eyes were unreadable. “You think he’d hate you?”
“No,” Regulus said softly. “Yes. I think he’d look at me differently. I think he’d stop looking at me like I’m someone worth saving.”
Evan was silent again. Then he said, “Whatever you do... things won’t be the same. You know that, right?”
Regulus nodded slowly. “Yeah. I know. I just wish they could be.”
Evan sighed and looked back down at his drawing. “We all wish for things. Doesn’t make them real.”
So Regulus decided: it would be easier to lie.
The summer would be a blank space in conversation.
He would say nothing. And James would believe it.
He buried himself in school. In class after class. Essays. Textbooks. Routine.
Everything dull and boring was a comfort now.
He searched too. In the library, late into the night, hidden in forgotten corners, for any scrap of knowledge about why the Dark Lord was the way he was. Why he couldn’t be stopped. Why the magic clung to him like something unnatural.
He found nothing. But he would keep looking. He had to.
***
The week passed like fog.
Finally, Friday night came. The Room of Requirement opened to them like it always did- warm and dimly lit, filled with cushions, a crackling fire, and the scent of old parchment and cinnamon.
Regulus stepped inside. James was already there, lounging on a beanbag, wand twirling between his fingers.
He looked up and smiled. “Hey, love.”
Regulus closed the door behind him. “Hi.”
James patted the cushion next to him. “Come here.”
Regulus sat, close but not too close. His heart was too loud in his ears.
James looked at him for a moment, quiet and thoughtful. “So… we haven’t really talked about it... but how was your summer?”
Regulus hesitated for only a second. Then he gave the lie.
“Boring,” he said, smoothing his voice like silk. “I was in my room most of the time.”
James gave a short huff of breath and leaned back. “You really don’t know how much I missed you.”
Regulus turned toward him. His voice was soft. “I guarantee I missed you more.”
“Huh? Really?”
Regulus leaned in and kissed him.
James kissed him back. His hand found Regulus’s waist, steady and warm, grounding him.
When they broke apart, Regulus pressed a kiss to James’s forehead. Then his nose. Then his cheeks, his jaw, the corner of his mouth, and finally his neck.
He lingered there, lips brushing skin. “That’s how much I missed you, Jamie.”
James made a sound between a laugh and a sigh. “Oh, so am I now Jamie permanently?”
Regulus went pink and looked away. “Shut up.”
James smiled. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at his lips.
After a beat, he asked, “So, how was your summer?”
James’ eyes lit up, bright and golden in the firelight. “Brilliant. Sirius was great and Remus and Peter came over for most of it. It was so much fun. We played Quidditch almost every day. Peter fell off his broom, twice. Remus pretty much hexed us half the time and was with Sirius the other half. We stayed up all night some days. It was loud, chaotic, absolutely mental- but it was perfect.”
Regulus didn’t interrupt. He let James talk, watching the way his face moved with the story, how his hands illustrated every little detail.
Regulus just watched him, expression soft, eyes full of something he didn’t dare name.
And he thought- not for the first time- how much he wanted to keep this.
Even if he didn’t deserve it.
Even if he knew it couldn’t last.
Notes:
Internal emotional turmoil that is Regulus black.... summer was not a good time guysss
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 42: A Requiem of Memories
Summary:
I'm backkk. Sorry for not posting last Sunday. The updates will probably be a bit off schedule and come when they do. But I'm trying to make sure that there is one every week
Notes:
🚨CWs/TWs: abuse/self harm (semi-graphic and scars)/suicidal ideation
Please stay safe out there everyone and if you ever need help please dont be afraid to ask someone! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The common room was dim, just the low flicker of enchanted candles and the steady scratch of a quill from someone working late. Regulus sat curled in the far corner of a velvet armchair, legs pulled close, a book open in his lap that he hadn’t turned the page of in twenty minutes.
Across from him, Pandora was on one of the sofa lying on her stomach, flipping through some witch fashion magazine, her chin resting on her folded arms.
She looked up and said, "You’ve been weird since school started."
Regulus didn’t look up. "I’ve always been weird."
She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Quiet. Distracted. Like you're here but not here."
Regulus’s fingers curled around the edge of his book. "I’m fine."
"Are you, though?" Pandora shut her magazine. Her voice was softer now. "What really happened over the summer, Regulus?"
A pause. Regulus swallowed. His eyes flicked to the fireplace, to the glow of the embers like firelight burned into his memory.
He didn't answer.
He took a second to mentally prepare himself for the lie.
Instead of that, though, his mind slipped back, back, back into the long, dark weeks of summer.
***
The room was cold. Stone walls. A single candle burning weakly at the centre of the long table. Shadows flickered like restless phantoms across the masked faces that were gathered around.
Regulus stood near the centre, between Evan and Barty. His stomach was a hollow pit and his hands dripping with sweat.
He didn’t feel ready.
He wasn’t ready.
He didn't think he would ever be ready.
But there was no turning back.
The Dark Lord's voice filled the chamber, low and cold, velvet and venom. “Step forward Regulus and kneel.”
Regulus did so and his knees hit the floor.
A moment later, fire seared across his skin. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop the scream. His vision blurred. The skull and serpent etched themselves into his flesh like they were part of his bones.
When it was over, he staggered to his feet.
He didn’t flinch. He tried not to move a muscle.
But the smell of burned skin haunted him for days.
***
His bedroom window was open. The heavy drapes fluttered with the summer breeze.
Regulus sat at his desk with a half-written letter in front of him.
Regulus sat hunched at his desk, quill hovering above a piece of parchment. A letter, ink blotched and desperate.
James,
This summer hasn't been so good. I know I'm not meant to write to you, but I can't help it. I miss you. I need you right now. I don't know what to do. I got the dark mark last week. I didn’t want to though, I swear. I didn't want it and I still don't. My mother hasn't been too bad though. Not too nice but not mean either. She's mostly been ignoring me so it's alright I guess, but it doesn’t matter. I can't sleep. My arm burns. And all I can think about is you. I wish I was with you right now. I'll see you in September. I hope you're having a good summer.
R.A.B
The words looked raw on the page. Like he'd skinned himself open and bled out in ink.
His throat closed.
He stared at the words until they blurred. Then, with a shaking hand, he crumpled the parchment into a ball and tossed it into the fire. It curled black and turned to ash, like the three other letters before it.
If he sent it, what would happen? His mother would surely find out if she did. What was the purpose of him sending this to James? That he wanted to be saved? That he needed to be saved? That he was a frail boy who needed his boyfriend's help to escape? That his arm still throbbed when he tried to sleep? That he was all alone? He couldn't send that. It would only make James see him for what he really was: weak, pathetic, unworthy of the boy who was so clearly the sun and kissed him as if he were the only person in the world who mattered.
The fire hissed, devouring his truth.
Regulus sat back in his chair, the deafening silence swallowing him. His heart still aching.
***
The room smelt and felt like blood magic was surrounding them. Candles burned low, their flames spitting wax across silver trays. Death Eaters crowded around the long table, their voices sharp as blades, laced with cruelty.
Regulus sat silently and listened, his hands folded in his lap.
Don't speak. Don't look away. Don't let them see you hesitate for even a split second.
Death Eater spoke of blood traitors, of purifying the world. Regulus kept his face blank. Silent. Barty looked eager, Evan impassive.
His father nodded along.
Regulus felt like he was drowning.
One man suggested 'making an example' of some muggleborn. Another mentioned some blood-traitors that Regulus hadn't heard of.
Regulus’ heart clenched so hard he thought it might stop.
His mother placed a hand on his shoulder, gentle as poison. "Sit up properly," she murmured, her voice sweet and sharp. "We are building a better world, darling. You’ll see."
He didn’t respond and just nodded. If he opened his mouth, he might scream.
***
He had just handed his OWL results to his mother in the drawing room. The afternoon sun made her emerald earrings sparkle, and her lips were already curling in anticipation.
"Outstanding in everything except...herbology?"
Regulus shifted on his feet. "It’s nothing. Just another useless subject."
There was a flash of light. His shoulder slammed into the wall behind him.
Pain shot through his ribs.
He gasped.
His mother loomed above him, her wand still raised. Her voice was like shattered glass. "I expected better from you, Regulus. You will not embarrass this family with mediocrity. Do you understand me?"
He nodded, jaw clenched.
He didn’t cry. Not even when she left the room like nothing had happened.
***
He stood in front of the tall mirror in his bedroom. Shirtless.
The Mark on his left forearm glared back at him. Angry. Permanent. His reflection was pale, sharp, hollow eyed.
And then there was the other arm. The scars on his right arm were as visible as ever. Some pink and healed, other raw and fresh.
He traced both: the skull and serpent, etched deep, and the red streaks of old wounds. His fingers moved over them slowly, almost tentatively.
The Mark screamed allegiance. The scars screamed failiure.
His felt empty.
Numb.
“I hate you,” he whispered.
He wasn’t sure if he meant the Mark. Or the scars. Or himself.
***
Regulus blinked. The fire cracked in front of him.
Pandora was still watching. Still waiting.
He inhaled. Just once. Shallow.
Then smiled- a perfect, empty smile like none of it mattered. “Nothing happened,” he said quietly. “It was just another boring summer, Dora. You know that.”
She didn’t look convinced. But she didn’t press him.
Regulus turned back to his book without seeing a single word.
The words blurred. The fire crackled.
The page still unchanged.
And the truth was a weight he wasn't sure he could carry forever.
Notes:
Ah was that a lot? The memories were very emotional and re-reading I got kinda sad...
sending hugs 🫂 to anyone that needs them (regulus deffo does)
Tysm from reading!
Chapter 43: Making Moves
Summary:
Sorry it's been so long, I was on holiday but now I'm back and posting as normal from next Sunday :)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The courtyard was quiet and the sun was beginning to set. Most students had already gone inside, their laughter echoing faintly from the castle. Regulus sat alone on a low stone wall, wand spinning slowly between his fingers.
The late October breeze tugged gently at his robes, and somewhere off to the left, leaves rustled dryly along the edge of the path. He stared out at nothing in particular, letting the hush settle over him like a second skin.
Footsteps approached, light and familiar. Barty slid onto the wall beside him with a soft thud, bumping his shoulder.
"You're brooding," Barty said, tone dry. "Again."
Regulus didn’t look over. "It’s a talent."
"A waste of one, if you ask me," Barty muttered, then grinned. "Everyone’s still whispering about the prefect badge, you know. Yaxley's been sulking for days. Not that I blame him. Prefects aren’t supposed to be swapped, especially half way through the first term back. Bit of a scandal, really."
Regulus exhaled through his nose, fingers still twirling his wand. "Father pulled strings. He said it will make me look good."
"Obviously. But still," Barty said, nudging him again, "you make it look like you earned it. Half the year thinks you did. They think Yaxley did something to get it taken away and you just so happened to be the next best choice."
Regulus gave him a sideways glance, lips twitching slightly. "Half the year needs better judgment."
Before Barty could reply, two more figures approached. Mulciber and Avery, both with smug expressions and the kind of swagger that meant trouble. They stepped in front of Regulus, blocking the fading sunlight.
"Evening," Mulciber drawled.
Regulus raised an eyebrow but didn’t move. "Mulciber. Avery."
Avery grinned. "Our fathers have been chatting recently. Said some very interesting things."
Mulciber crossed his arms. "Said someone’s finally stepping into their place. Making moves. Earning marks."
Regulus’s face remained blank, but his wand stopped spinning.
"Just thought we’d say congrats," Avery added, tone too light. "It’s not every day someone our age gets that kind of....recognition."
"A powerful sign," Mulciber said, eyes gleaming.
Regulus stood slowly, shoulders rolling back with precision. He didn’t raise his voice.
"Don’t speak so openly about things you don’t understand," he said coldly. "This isn’t a corridor whisper."
Avery snorted. "We’re just being friendly."
"Surely you're so proud." Mulciber piped up, "Your parents too. Youngest ever D-"
Regulus took a single step forward, eyes glinting like cut glass. "If you value your ability to speak, shut your mouth before I remove your tongue."
The silence was so loud you could hear a pin drop.
"And fuck off."
They faltered. Mulciber's smirk cracked. Avery’s gaze darted away.
"Alright, alright," Mulciber muttered. "Didn’t mean anything by it."
They turned and left quickly, their retreating steps clumsy on the gravel.
Regulus sat back down with a quiet breath, tension coiled just beneath his skin.
***
Later, Regulus made his way through the halls, footsteps light as he approached the familiar door of the Room of Requirement. It appeared like it always did, shifting from stone to wood in silence.
Inside, the room had shaped itself into a cozy study nook. Bookshelves lined the walls, candles hovered gently overhead, and a large table sat in the centre, piled with parchment and open textbooks.
James was already there, hunched over his Charms notes, hair a wild mess as always. He looked up when Regulus entered, a crooked smile tugging at his mouth.
"Heard something interesting," James said lightly. "Apparently you threatened Mulciber earlier."
Regulus arched an eyebrow. "News travels fast."
"Well, your threats are apparently memorable," James said, chuckling. "Didn’t peg you for the extremely violent type."
Regulus walked over, leaned down, and pressed a soft kiss to James’s cheek. "It was fine. Nothing I couldn't handle."
James smiled, eyes searching his. "What was it about?"
"Nothing," Regulus said softly. "Nothing worth mentioning."
They settled at the table, shoulders brushing as Regulus pulled out his notes.
"Your NEWTs are this year, right?" he asked.
James groaned. "Don’t remind me. Potions is going to kill me."
"I don't know why you took it if you hate it that much, but lucky for you," Regulus said, already scanning his notes, "I’m an expert."
James gave him a mock-suspicious look. "What did I do to deserve this privilege?"
Regulus smirked faintly, the corners of his eyes softening. "Oh nothing much, you just be glad that you have an amazing boyfriend to help you."
James flushed slightly. "Huh 'amazing' I don't remember saying that."
They leaned over their work, Regulus guiding James through the different potions, what they contained and how to brew them, correcting him with soft murmurs.
The warmth of the room settled around them and Regulus fel like he was at home.
Truly.
Notes:
My hate for Mulciber will never be contained lol.
Guyssss it's Sirius bday Chapter nextttt!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 44: The Silver Thread
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James
Today is going to be a long day. James thought.
It was now Sirius' birthday and Gryffindor Tower was already buzzing. James had spent the entire afternoon transforming the common room into something worthy of celebration. Streamers in gold and red floated through the air, pinwheels of enchanted light spun lazily over the fireplace, and the armchairs had been transfigured into squishy cushions on the floor. They played upbeat music in the background, and the entire place smelled faintly of pumpkin pasties and cinnamon.
James wiped his hands on his jeans, surveying the room with pride. The party was coming together. He glanced at the time and muttered, “Right, we need more food.”
He made his way out of the tower, slipping through corridors with the ease of someone who’d snuck out more times than he could count. On the way down to the kitchens, just near the corridor that turned toward the Hufflepuff common room, he nearly collided with someone rounding the corner.
Regulus.
James grinned immediately. “Fancy seeing you here.”
Regulus arched an eyebrow. “Sneaking around again?”
James laughed. “Fetching food, actually. Party prep.”
Regulus stepped closer, something small wrapped in silver tissue held carefully in his hand. “I was hoping to catch you alone.”
“Oh?” James leaned in slightly, already smiling like an idiot. Regulus rolled his eyes but didn’t pull away. He handed James the small parcel.
“Give this to Sirius for me. But don’t tell him it’s from me.”
James blinked. “You’re giving him a gift? I thought you said before-”
Regulus shrugged. “It doesn’t change anything. Just….give it to him.”
James studied him for a second, then softened. “Alright. I will.” He tucked the parcel into his coat and leaned in to kiss Regulus gently, hands brushing his waist.
"Have fun at the party," Regulus told him.
James winked at him and nodded.
They parted with one last look, James disappearing toward the kitchens, warmth blooming in his chest.
***
The party kicked off that evening with a bang- literally, because Sirius accidentally set off a firecracker charm too close to the fireplace. The common room was packed wall to wall with students, mostly from Gryffindor but with a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who’d snuck in by invitation (and through some suspiciously open portrait holes).
Music blasted from the wireless, the beat thumping against the stone walls. The floor was littered with sweets, butterbeer bottles, and the occasional rogue chocolate frog. Fairy lights danced along the ceiling beams, casting a soft, dreamy glow over the chaos.
Sirius was the heart of it all, of course- twirling Remus around in a ridiculous dance to the tune of a Weird Sisters song, both of them laughing breathlessly. Lily and Mary were trying to charm the butterbeer into floating bubbles, Peter was attempting to balance on an overturned cushion, and James was holding court near the drinks table, chatting animatedly with Marlene about Quidditch tactics.
Occasionally his gaze drifted through the crowd, catching the glint of silver in his pocket and wondering what Sirius would think.
The party carried on late into the night, trailing off into a quiet haze of sleepy laughter and spilled drinks. Eventually, the common room emptied out, students either heading to bed or crashing on the nearest cushion.
***
The next morning, with his hair sticking up in odd angles and a slight headache forming behind his eyes, Sirius shuffled through the pile of presents stacked in the corner. James sat nearby, nursing a mug of strong tea and watching him with concealed interest.
“Ooh, socks. Riveting,” Sirius muttered, tossing a pair over his shoulder.
He tore the paper off the next gift- Regulus’, wrapped in silver tissue. He frowned, holding up the bracelet inside. It was a simple thing, dark leather band with a flat silver plate across the front.
“Huh. Cool,” Sirius said, fastening it around his wrist. “Bit plain, but it's cool.”
James watched closely. The silver caught the faintest flicker of morning light, but the inscription didn’t show. Just as Regulus had said yesterday.
Later that day he waited until Sirius was distracted, then leaned slightly to get a better look. That night in the common room, after the lanterns had dimmed and the stars outside were visible through the enchanted ceiling, the inscription had shimmered faintly under the starlight.
Fraters ad aras.
It was a Latin phrase and surprisingly James knew what it meant:
Brothers until the end.
It gave James a chill.
Sirius glanced up. “Who gave me this one again?”
James shrugged, masking the emotion in his chest. “Dunno. Just found it in the pile.”
"That's weird. It didn't have a name on it or a card with it, did it?" Sirius asked.
"Not that I could see when I gave it to you."
"Huh mysterious. I like it anyway." He flexed his wrist, watching the bracelet settle into place. Then he smiled faintly, oddly content.
James looked away, hiding a quiet smile of his own.
Notes:
Regulussss giftt whoaaa progress at least... and Sirius is officially an adult yay go him
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 45: Tethers in the Dark
Notes:
Sorry, I didn't post yesterday I was super busy and forgot but here's the next chapter :)
If you get confused while reading this chapter: when it switches to Regulus' pov it's the next night.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James
The Gryffindor common room hummed with quiet energy, the fire in the hearth crackling and casting flickering shadows that danced across the worn red and gold tapestries. The scent of burning wood mixed with faint traces of spiced pumpkin pasties from various students. Outside, the grounds were frosted with a delicate layer of ice, the sort that made the first footsteps of morning crunch satisfyingly crisp.
James sat curled in a deep armchair near the fire, a warm mug of tea cupped between his hands. The flickering flames mirrored the restless thoughts swirling in his mind. His gaze kept drifting to Sirius, who was sprawled on the opposite sofa, laughing and teasing Remus as they recounted some story from their last attempt at a prank. The bracelet on Sirius’ wrist caught the firelight again, its smooth silver surface gleaming faintly.
Sirius’ fingers absently toyed with the bracelet, rolling it between thumb and forefinger as if it were a talisman. James’s chest tightened a little each time he saw that. Sirius wore it openly, but the bracelet was no ordinary trinket- the Latin inscription was hidden, enchanted by Regulus so it only revealed itself beneath the stars. James had been the only one to see the glowing words, whispered promises of brotherhood and loyalty. He wanted to tell Sirius what it said. To share the meaning. But he understood Regulus’ wish for secrecy. He and Sirius weren't even on speaking terms; they had little trust in each other, and their bond was dwindling fast. It was a fragile thing between the brothers. It was quite complicated and relied on knowing what each other wanted without even saying it.
As the evening stretched on, James’ thoughts wandered to the approaching Christmas holidays. For the first time in years, Sirius, Remus, and Peter would all be staying at Hogwarts. No empty chairs at the dinner table, no stolen moments of loneliness. James imagined snowball fights in the courtyard, late-night conversations by candlelight, the warmth of true friendship filling every corner.
Sirius caught his gaze and smiled- a slow, knowing smile. He reached over, gently brushing Sirius’ shoulder with his own, getting his attention.
“Looking forward to Christmas?” James whispered, voice soft enough that only Sirius could hear.
Sirius’s eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. “More than I should admit. I'll miss seeing your parents though.”
"They're your parents too, Pads." James replied, and Sirius smiled back at him.
Later, as the common room emptied and the castle settled into a calm hush and they all went up to their dorms for the final few nights at Hogwarts before the Christmas holidays.
***
That night, James found himself restless, the warmth of the common room replaced by the quiet stillness of his dormitory. He lay sprawled across his bed.
He rolled onto his side and caught sight of the stars outside his window. The night sky, vast and eternal, seemed to promise something beyond the troubles of the day.
He thought of Regulus, and the gentle but fierce determination in his eyes. The silent ways they spoke to each other without words. How fragile, how powerful their connection was.
With a small smile, James whispered to the stars, “Brothers until the end.”
He hoped that it would remain true. He'd do anything for it to be true. Anything at all. Which James supposed was a but ridiculous but he couldn't help it. They were two of the most important people in his life and he wanted them both to be happy.
He wanted them all to be happy. They both deserved it so much.
For a moment, the darkness seemed a little less overwhelming.
***
Regulus
The corridors of Hogwarts were colder these days, the stone walls seeming to close in with every passing week. Regulus wrapped his cloak tighter around himself, the late autumn chill prickling at his skin despite the warmth of the castle’s hearths.
He didn’t dare linger near the Gryffindor common room. He preferred to keep his distance, to watch from the shadows. The bracelet he had given Sirius weighed heavily on his mind. It was a silent vow, a secret tether between brothers- something unspoken but fiercely important. And yet, seeing Sirius wear it so openly, so casually, stirred something unfamiliar inside him.
His thoughts were abruptly broken by a flicker of movement ahead. James was coming toward him, books tucked under one arm, the same determined look in his eyes that Regulus recognized instantly.
“You’ve been quiet lately,” James said softly, stepping beside him.
Regulus shrugged, attempting a casual smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just the usual.”
James didn’t press further. Instead, he slipped his hand into Regulus’ for a moment, grounding them both in the quiet hum of the castle.
As they walked, Regulus’ mind raced with worries- whispers of things stirring beneath the surface, the kind of danger that didn’t announce itself with fanfare. He’d heard enough from overheard conversations to know that the fragile peace at Hogwarts was cracking.
“I don’t want to lose this,” Regulus said suddenly, voice low. “Us. What we have.”
James squeezed his hand. “We won't.”
They paused beneath a tapestry of a soaring phoenix, its wings spread wide as if ready to take flight. The symbolism wasn’t lost on either of them.
The castle might be full of secrets and shadows, but in this moment, Regulus allowed himself to believe in something brighter.
Notes:
Guysss Christmas is approaching again and there is one of my fave chapters coming up yay!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 46: Snow and Chains
Notes:
As my apologies for not posting yesterday here is a long chapter!
Also I'm going back to school this week so no more sporadic posting!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
James
The first snow of December came early that year, drifting down in lazy swirls outside the high, frosted windows of Gryffindor Tower. James had been the first to notice it, jolting upright in bed as Sirius’ snoring rattled the hangings.
“Oi, Pads, it’s snowing!” he called, yanking the curtains open so a weak, silvery light fell across the room.
Sirius groaned, rolling onto his stomach. “If you wake me before breakfast again, Prongs, I swear-”
But Remus was already sitting up, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm, a half-smile tugging at his lips. Peter gave a small, squeaky cheer and scrambled for his boots.
James grinned. “Come on, lads. First snowball fight of the year. It’s tradition.”
By the time they barreled down the stairs, Sirius had fully woken and was leading the charge. The four of them burst into the courtyard like a pack of overexcited dogs, boots crunching on fresh powder. Dozens of other students had the same idea; snowballs were already flying through the air.
“AMBUSH!” Sirius roared, scooping snow with both hands and pelting it at a gaggle of Ravenclaws. James joined him instantly, his Quidditch-trained reflexes giving him perfect aim.
Peter shrieked as someone lobbed a snowball straight down the back of his robes. Remus laughed, actually laughed, red-cheeked and carefree as he ducked behind a stone bench and hurled one back. James felt a thrill in his chest at the sight of it- Merlin, it was rare to see Moony so unguarded.
The courtyard dissolved into chaos. Sirius tackled James into a snowdrift, both of them howling with laughter, until a perfectly-formed snowball smacked Sirius square in the head.
"Wasn't me!" James shouted, already scrambling up, turning around and running in the opposite direction.
“Oh, but it was you,” Sirius growled, shaking snow from his hair. “Potter, you’ve just declared war.”
Within minutes they had half of Gryffindor House on one side and an unlikely alliance of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs on the other. Snowballs soared through the air like comets. James dove behind a statue, caught one mid-flight, and chucked it straight back.
“Ten points from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor each,” McGonagall’s voice rang suddenly across the courtyard.
Everyone froze.
She stood at the edge, arms folded, mouth pressed thin- but James swore he saw the tiniest twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips.
“Carry on,” she added dryly, and swept inside.
The battle resumed instantly, louder than before.
***
By the time the Marauders finally trudged back into the common room, dripping with melted snow and aching from laughter, the sun had sunk behind the castle walls. James flopped into the armchair nearest the fire, tugging off his gloves and holding his frozen hands out to the flames.
Sirius sprawled on the rug like a starfish, hair damp and wild. Remus settled into his usual corner with a book, still smiling faintly, while Peter disappeared toward the dormitory, muttering something about dry socks.
The warmth seeped into James’ bones. His glasses fogged from the sudden change of temperature. He tilted his head back against the chair, eyes half-closed, listening to the crackle of firewood and Sirius humming tunelessly as he warmed his boots.
It felt....safe. Home.
James realized, with a jolt of quiet happiness, that he was looking forward to Christmas this year more than he ever had before. Not because of presents or feasts, but because he’d be here. With Sirius, who was free of Grimmauld Place. With Remus, who’d already promised to stay for the holidays. With Peter, who was always good for a laugh.
This, James thought, was family. Not blood or obligation. Just this.
Sirius still didn’t know about the bracelet. About what was hidden there. Sirius just wore it because it was simple, plain, and his.
James wondered if one day he should tell him. But then again….maybe it was better this way.
***
Regulus
Winter had always been Regulus’ least favorite season. It reminded him too much of Grimmauld Place- the drafty halls where cold seeped into his bones, the sharp smell of smoke that clung to velvet curtains, the way Walburga’s voice echoed off marble floors.
When the owl from home arrived, a familiar weight settled in his stomach before he even broke the seal.
You will be home for the holidays, it read, each word clipped and formal. There are matters of importance to be discussed with the family. Do not disappoint us.
Regulus folded the parchment carefully, tucking it into his pocket, though the words might as well have been embedded into his brain.
He closed his eyes briefly, leaning back against the cold stone of the Slytherin common room wall. The fire here never seemed to chase away the damp.
The thought of returning- of enduring another Christmas beneath his mother’s critical eye, beneath the endless expectations pressing down on his shoulders- made his throat tighten.
But he didn’t have a choice. He never did.
***
Later that evening, he cut through a corridor on his way back from the library, satchel over his shoulder, and froze at the sound of laughter.
Sirius’ laughter.
It carried down the hall, careless and unburdened, followed by James’ teasing voice and another quieter chuckle.
Regulus stopped at the corner, peering out just enough to see them walking together- Sirius gesturing wildly with his hands, James elbowing him playfully, Remus rolling his eyes but smiling all the same. Peter trailed behind, struggling to keep up.
“…and thank Merlin I don’t have to go back to that blasted house for Christmas,” Sirius was saying. “Never again. I wish we could've gone to your house like usual, James, but your parents need rest without us there, and Hogwarts is amazing as normal. Anything's better than that house. Actual food, actual people I don’t want to hex on sight-”
He heard some more laughter.
Regulus’ hand tightened on the strap of his satchel. For Sirius, it was so easy. He could laugh about leaving. He could joke about it, toss it off like it meant nothing. But Regulus- Regulus was still expected to sit at that cursed dining table, still expected to wear the mask, to nod and smile and obey.
Sirius caught his eye suddenly. The grin faltered.
For a heartbeat, it was just the two of them staring across the corridor, the noise of friends fading into the background.
Regulus felt a hundred words clawing at the back of his throat.
Don’t say it like that. Don’t laugh about the chains I still wear. Don’t forget I’m still there. Don't forget me anymore than you already have.
But none of them left his mouth.
He turned sharply and walked away. Back in his dormitory, he sat at his desk with a quill hovering uselessly above parchment.
He wanted to talk to James. Wanted to tell him that the holidays felt like a cage closing in, that Sirius’ laughter was a knife twist, that sometimes he wished he could simply vanish into the snow and never return.
Instead he wrote it down. Or tried to anyway.
He scribbled a few words. Crossed them out. Tried again.
In the end, he folded the parchment blank and shoved it into the back of his drawer.
The bracelet- Sirius’ bracelet- flashed in his mind. The words he’d charmed into it.
Fratres ad aras.
Brothers until the end.
Regulus exhaled shakily. He wasn’t sure anymore if that was a promise, or a curse.
Notes:
Rn I'm feeling inspired so I'll probs go on a writing spree!
Next chapter is Christmas and I've had it ready for so longgg. Until next week!
Tysm for reading!
Chapter 47: A Christmas to Remember
Summary:
🚨CWs/TWs: abuse/torture/homophobia/self-harm (graphic). Pls read with this is mind and read with care!!!
Notes:
I actually can't believe its September already. Felt like it was January like a few days ago. We're closer to Christmas. Hope everyone's year is going well!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Regulus
The train pulled into King’s Cross with its usual screech. Students spilled out in laughter and chatter, but Regulus slipped through the crowd with the same quiet precision he always did. Sirius was somewhere behind him- he didn’t look, didn’t dare. The moment he stepped off the train, the weight of home was already pressing on his shoulders.
Walburga Black stood tall in her dark green robes, her spine as rigid as the family crest embroidered on her sleeves. The crowd seemed to part around her presence; she was not a woman one could mistake or ignore. Her eyes- sharp as shattered glass- latched onto Regulus at once.
“Regulus,” she said coolly, though her hand gripped his arm with unnecessary force the moment he reached her. “Walk.”
There was no smile, no inquiry about his health or his grades, though Regulus knew she had already received his marks. No, her silence was far heavier than any lecture. They moved through the barrier into the Muggle station, her heels clicking like a clock counting down. Orion lingered behind them, shadow-like, silent as ever. The Black family townhouse loomed when they finally Flooed home: its curtains drawn tight, its silence suffocating.
Kreacher fussed near the hearth, bowing so low his nose nearly touched the rug, but Walburga swept past him with a flick of her wrist.
She did not wait long. In the drawing room, Regulus had barely set down his trunk when she turned to him, her eyes glittering with controlled fury.
“Tell me, Regulus,” she said, her voice deceptively soft. “How is school?”
“Fine,” he replied quickly, too quickly. “It’s fine.”
Her smile was thin and cutting. “Do not lie to me. Someone has informed us you’ve been wondering around the castle at night. Tell me why.”
The world slowed. Regulus felt the blood drain from his face. His hands tightened on the handle of his trunk until his knuckles whitened.
"Who ever told you that is lying-"
"Are you calling me a liar by default?" She questioned him harshly.
"No mother, of course not-"
"Then answer my question and be truthful Regulus. I. Will. Not. Ask. Again."
“I was… working on a potion,” he said at last, grasping at something plausible. “For some work. The....the ingredients were easier to get and easier to make the potion at night.” A poor excuse. He knew it the moment the words left his mouth.
Walburga’s eyes narrowed. For a moment, the silence was unbearable, stretching taut like the skin of a drum. Then her lips curled.
“Do you think me a fool?”
Regulus’ pulse raced. He forced himself to meet her gaze, though every nerve screamed at him to look away. “I swear it was nothing, Mother. Just schoolwork.”
She studied him for a long, cold second. Then she moved closer. “Look at me.”
Her wand was in her hand before he could even breathe. His heart slammed against his ribs, but he obeyed.
“Legilimens.”
It hit like ice plunging into his veins. He tried to hide everything. He really tried, but his Occlumency skills were much weaker compared to Walburga's Legilimency skills. The world blurred and shattered, memories ripping free without his consent- flashes of moonlit corridors, hushed whispers with James in the hidden room, the feel of warm lips pressed against his in stolen moments, the golden blur of Gryffindor red against his own darker robes. He fought it, but resistance was useless. Walburga’s will was a steel trap, unyielding, merciless.
She saw James. She saw everything.
Regulus gasped, clutching his chest as though that would shield him. His mind ached, his vision swam. Walburga withdrew at last, her face twisted in something between rage and disgust.
“A man. And a Potter no less,” she spat, her voice venomous. “You disgrace your name. You shame this family. You should be ashamed of yourself you horrid thing.”
“I-” His throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. His mind still echoed with James’s laugh, James’s touch- and now they were filth in her eyes.
Walburga’s wand did not lower. “You will end this. Immediately. You will marry where I tell you to marry. You will not tarnish the Black bloodline with filth.”
Her words lashed like whips. Regulus tried to stand taller, tried to summon even a fraction of Sirius’s defiance, but the fear was strangling him.
“I don’t- ” His voice cracked. “I don’t love anyone else.”
The slap came before he saw her hand move. Sharp, hot, humiliating. “You are a Black,” she hissed. “You belong to this family. To me. Not to your childish infatuations. Not to him.”
Her wand rose again, and Regulus knew what was coming.
***
Walburga’s wand rose again, her lips curling in that thin, triumphant sneer Regulus knew too well.
“Crucio.”
Pain exploded through every nerve, so sudden he didn't even have time to scream at first. It was like fire crawling beneath his skin, like every bone was splintering in his body all at once. He collapsed to the floor, his limbs jerking violently, nails clawing uselessly at the rug. His throat tore on a hoarse cry, then another, until the drawing room echoed with it.
Walburga watched, unmoved, her expression sharp with righteous fury. “Do you think the Dark Lord would allow such weakness?” she spat above his writhing body. “Do you think he would suffer such treachery in one who bears the Black name?”
Her voice was distant, muffled behind the roar of agony. Regulus gasped for breath, sweat soaking his collar, tears burning his eyes. But she did not stop. “Crucio!”
The curse struck again, harder, sharper, and he could feel it in every part of his body. He begged- wordless, broken sounds torn from his throat, half-choked by sobs. He thought of James, desperately- James’ laugh, James’ warmth, James who would never know this was happening. The thought both saved and destroyed him, because it was James’ name on his lips when Walburga leaned down and hissed in his ear:
“You will end it, Regulus. You will end this attempt at rebellion. You will end this silly little trifle. Or I will burn the very memory of him from your mind until nothing of you remains.”
When at last she lifted the curse, his body collapsed. He lay trembling on the rug, gasping shallowly, his throat raw. He could barely lift his head.
Walburga straightened, her robes untouched, her fury contained now in cold certainty. “You will heal yourself. You will present yourself at dinner tomorrow night as a proper son of this house. And you will remember that your life belongs to the Black family, not to you.”
She swept from the room, the echo of her heels sharp against the floor. The door closed behind her with a finality that felt like a lock snapping shut.
For long minutes, Regulus did not move. His muscles still twitched involuntarily, little sparks of pain flickering through them. He forced his shaking hands to his wand, murmured healing charms in a ragged whisper until the burns, the muscle spasms, the worst of the damage ebbed away.
But no spell could touch the hollow ache inside him.
He curled into himself on the rug, cheek pressed against the rough weave, tears slipping hot and silent down his face. His chest still heaved with every breath, like each inhale was a victory he hadn’t earned. He thought of James- James who had kissed him like he mattered, who made him feel light and whole- and now, even that memory felt poisoned.
He whispered James’ name once more, just to hear it aloud, before burying it in the dark where Walburga could never touch it.
***
The next night, the drawing room glowed with candlelight and the clink of crystal. Bellatrix’s laugh rang sharp across the table, Narcissa’s voice softer beside her fiancé Lucius, who carried himself with the smug ease of someone already certain of his place in the Dark Lord’s favor. Orion sat silent at the head, his eyes glassy, his wine untouched. Walburga presided at his side, her smile brittle and proud, as though last night’s violence had never happened. Regulus sat stiff in his chair, his robes immaculate, his hands folded carefully in his lap to hide their faint trembling. His throat still ached, though he’d healed it as best he could. He spoke when spoken to, nodded when required, and kept his eyes down.
Lucius raised his glass mid-meal, his pale eyes glittering. “The Dark Lord grows more powerful by the day,” he said smoothly. “It is only a matter of time before his vision reshapes our world. We must all prove ourselves ready, aligned, and loyal. You have done well in joining us, Black.”
Walburga’s eyes flickered briefly toward Regulus and she smiled knowing that she had her son trapped.
The silverware gleamed beneath the chandelier, every piece polished to perfection, every glass filled to the exact measure Walburga deemed appropriate. The house-elves had prepared a feast of roasted pheasant and wine-glazed vegetables, dishes Regulus could barely taste as the evening unfolded around him.
Bellatrix sat closest to Walburga, her posture sharp, her smile edged with something almost feral. Her eyes glittered whenever the Dark Lord’s name was spoken, as though the very syllables sustained her.
“It is only the beginning,” she said, voice low and reverent as she carved into her meat. “Our Lord does not simply seek power- he seeks permanence. He will remake this world, purge it clean of weakness. Already, there are whispers of what he has planned for the new year.”
Walburga’s lips curved into approval. “At last, someone who understands what it means to protect our kind. The rest of wizarding society clings to filth and betrayal. But in the Dark Lord, we are offered renewal.”
Narcissa, composed as ever, lifted her glass with a calm smile, though her voice carried the same conviction. “We are fortunate,” she said softly, “to be born into families wise enough to see what so many others will not. It will be our children who inherit the world he creates.”
Beside her, Lucius inclined his head. “The Black family has always stood at the forefront of tradition and strength. The Dark Lord knows the value of loyalty, and he rewards it. Those who hesitate…” He let the sentence trail, a delicate smirk curling at his mouth. “Well. They are not remembered kindly.”
Regulus felt Walburga’s gaze land on him like a brand. She said nothing, but her silence was louder than any reprimand. Her son would not be one of the hesitant.
He forced a small nod, his throat tight.
“Of course,” he managed, the words stiff and unnatural. His fingers clenched beneath the table, digging crescents into his palms.
Bellatrix laughed, rich and sharp, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder. “Do not look so grim, cousin. There is glory in serving him. There is no higher calling than to fight at his side, to shed blood for his cause. When you prove yourself worthy, you will understand.”
Her eyes locked onto his, wild and unblinking. Regulus swallowed hard, nodding again, though the very marrow of his bones recoiled.
The meal stretched on, every toast another stone on his chest, every mention of the Dark Lord’s power another thread tightening around his throat. Regulus barely tasted the food, his answers growing quieter, shorter, until even Narcissa’s polite inquiries were met with little more than strained monosyllables.
At last, when the final plates were cleared and the guests drifted into the drawing room for wine and brandy, Regulus excused himself with a bow of the head. Walburga’s eyes followed him until the stairs swallowed him whole.
You will end this silly little trifle.
His room was dark, curtains drawn tight, the silence pressing in on him like a second skin. Regulus closed the door with shaking hands, leaning against it as though to bar the world out. His chest heaved, breath ragged. He had endured the curse, the performance, the suffocating dinner- and still it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
He crossed the room in two strides, pulling open the drawer where he had hidden the small silver knife he used for potions. For a long moment he simply stared at it, the candlelight glinting on its edge.
Then, with practiced quiet, he sat on the floor, drew his sleeves back, and pressed the blade to his skin.
You will end this attempt at rebellion.
The first line burned sharp and immediate, a sting that cut through the suffocating numbness. The next followed, and the next, until his arms were marked in crimson streaks. He moved to his thighs, where the wounds could live untouched, unhealed.
Each cut was a silence he could control, a pain that belonged to him alone. The tears that slipped free now were soundless, nothing like the raw cries the Cruciatus had torn from him.
You will stop this.
He leaned his head back against the bedframe, knife slipping from his grasp, his breath shuddering in and out. The blood stained his trousers, warm and sticky, but he did not reach for his wand. He did not want the wounds gone.
For the first time since stepping off the train, he felt something like release.
And yet, beneath it all, Walburga’s voice still echoed in his mind:
Regulus closed his eyes, pressing his palms to the fresh cuts, letting the sting anchor him in the darkness.
Tomorrow, he would play the dutiful son again.
Tonight, he was just a boy breaking quietly apart.
You will do as I wish.
He would end it with James. He had to. For James sake.
But also his.
Notes:
I'm very sorry, genuinely. But I had this planned from the beginning. It's some story of a turning point if you want to call it that.
I hope everyone's doing OK. It was....a lot.
Next chapter is Hogwarts Christmas with the marauders and it'll definitely be more cheerful than this. (Its also my apology chapter for this one lol)
See ya next week :)
Tysm for reading!
SamwichTheSandwich on Chapter 6 Tue 13 Aug 2024 08:34AM UTC
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Pandaffodil on Chapter 9 Tue 27 May 2025 03:35PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 27 May 2025 03:36PM UTC
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Last Edited Tue 27 May 2025 05:20PM UTC
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