What if...?

by CoffeeSyrup

Summary:

What if Loki managed to come home after he let go on the bifrost?

Traumatised, hurt and afraid, will Loki heal in time to warn Asgard of Thanos? And how will Asgard react to him being back?

Chapter 1

Thor stared out the window of the balcony in Loki's room. Asgard was continuing to thrive like normal. As if Loki had never died. As if Loki hadn't committed suicide.

Thor sighed, looking around the barren room. Loki's items had, of course, been collected so they could burn in the empty ship to guide him to Valhalla. It was as if the room was stripped of any mark of his presence. No more books. No more daggers. No more Loki.

He turned his head back out to the window, looking up at the sky. He was supposed to be doing his duties as the crown Prince but Thor never liked listening to Odin much these days. His father had been the one to deny Loki during his last moments, only to cover it up by saying Loki had slipped and fell to his death when that was not the case. It was not fair for Loki if Odin still had Thor dutifully by his side like an eager dog ready to please.

Anyway, it took mere weeks for the truth to come out when Thor was drunk in a tavern, surrounded by his friends but feeling oh so alone. He loudly exclaimed what Odin had said to Loki during the moments before his suicide, lamenting about how Loki would be alive were it not for that. The bar was of course crowded and in to time, everyone knew of Loki's suicide. Odin's reputation had taken quite a tank from the parents in Asgard, who were horrified that their beloved king would say such a thing to his youngest boy in a time of crisis.

Most thought it was a fitting end for a coward but Thor noted that those who proclaimed such a thing were warriors.

The common folk, he had heard, seemed much more sympathetic. He even visited the poorer areas with the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, only to discover they were more in mourning than any of the noblemen. They had told him stories of how Loki frequently came to visit, using seidr to improve conditions, donating food and any knick knacks, blankets and clothing he could to the local orphanage and struggling families.

None of them ever even knew about it. Loki was known for his laziness, disappearing occasionally to go on walks or to the library. How many times was that just a front so that Loki could help people in silence, never expecting anything out of it? Thor could not remember the last time he had done such a thing without thinking of how his reputation would improve.

Thor was brought out of his thoughts by a sudden crackle and when he looked back his heart dropped. Loki was there. His baby brother. Covered in blood and scars, collapsing to the floor, with his throat spewing blood at an alarming rate.

“LOKI!” He bellowed, rushing forward to grab him. His clothing was strange, black leather clearly for combat yet Loki was in no shape for such a thing.

“GUARDS! GUARDS!” He yelled, clutching Loki's cold body as the door slammed open.

“Alert the healers!” Thor demanded, scooping up Loki and running through the halls, blood rapidly falling from his brother onto the golden floors.

He passed numerous people, pushing them away in order to get Loki to Healer Eir. He slammed the door open when he arrived at the Healers Halls, startling Eir and her apprentice.

“Loki?” She whispered, a hand flying to her mouth.

Thor's heart was racing as he lay his brother down, still and unmoving with blood gushing out. Healers immediately tended to his slit throat, running into the room The healers then removed his jacket to access his veins, revealing not his thin pale arms but arms of metal. Loki had prosthetic arms.

Thor gagged, trying not to vomit as he saw Loki's trousers ride up slightly from all the movement, revealing prosthetic legs too. His brother had been mutilated. His brother had been tortured and dismembered.

And he knew who to blame.

Thor summoned mjolnir as he bolted for his fathers study, slamming the door open.

Odin looked confused and angry when Thor stormed over. “You!”

“Thor, control yourself!” Odin barked, clearly baffled by his son's aggressive behaviour.

“You claimed Loki was dead! Then why is he in the healers ward, mutilated and bleeding?!” He roared just as his mother came in.

“What?” Frigga softly whispered.

Thor looked back, unshed tears glistening in both their eyes. “Loki has returned, mother. I know not of what caused him to or why he looks…”

He couldn't get any more in as Frigga ran off to reunite with her supposedly dead son.

Thor glared back at his father, who had his head in his hands. “You did this.”

 

After some time, they were able to know more about Loki's physical injuries. He had definitely had his limbs removed, replaced with prosthetics. His eyes were not his, which explained the claw marks around them. According to healer Eir, they were most definitely another person's that were put in , which made Thor want to throw up right there. His brother had his eyes ripped out. When asked if he was able to see out of them, healer Eir explained the retinas were attached with… something. Dark magic, it seemed, was nothing like anything his mother or any other seidr user was able to identify.

Loki's tongue had been removed and had a silver piece attached on the end, startling the poor apprentice who was checking his teeth. His head had scars hidden beneath his hair, as if it had been peeled open. Scans showed it was likely his memory and emotional control that would be damaged, although they didn't know to what extent. Then there were the scars. Thick, gruesome lines. Burn areas. Badly done stitching that seemed intentional. Holes through his shoulders that looked like hooks had been shoved in. Broken bones healed incorrectly. This was the work of a professional. Frigga struggled to contain herself when she saw her precious baby boy, so emaciated that a small pillow had been neatly placed on his stomach to stop anything from bruising his protruding hip bones that stretched his scarred skin.

Loki's throat had been neatly sliced, definitely to kill him. Healer Eir was able to stitch it back up and determine that his voice box wouldn't be injured as the slash had been clearly done without much care as it wasn't too deep.

Then there were the emotional injuries.

Chapter 2

“Be prepared for him to be afraid. This type of torture…”

And wasn't that a sick word. Torture. Needless cruelty. Done to his own baby brother. The brother whose hand he had held as Loki was learning to walk. The brother who's hand he hadn't held tight enough to stop this from happening. Heimdall had always said there was nothing in the void. That it was a vast emptiness. But clearly something sinister was lurking.

“This type of torture is not something one can easily brush off. Loki is not yet an adult, either. He will be closed off, afraid, possibly angry. His… Assailants could have planted thoughts in his head to stop him from trying to escape. He will need time and stability to recover from what has happened to him.”

“What else can we expect?” Frigga softly asked, desperately attempting to let her tears fall.

“I have never heard or seen such a severe case but he will be different. In some cases, young victims behave childish and clingy, never wanting to leave the people they view as safe for fear of them not coming back. Some are even hostile and act out due to anger at being tortured. Some blame themselves and others blame everyone else.” Eir struggled to keep her composure. “It all depends on what happened to the prince and how he responded. Do not expect him to be open about what happened. You may have to wait years for answers.”

“We will wait.” Thor nodded, determined. “Give me every book you have so I may know more on how to help Loki.”

Frigga immediately wept, clinging to her son. “Oh, Thor.”

Healer Eir bowed her head down, feeling just as proud and horrified. One Prince had grown so much whereas the other had his life torn from him.

“I shall. But the best thing you can do is be patient and understand. Even if Loki seems unbothered, it will likely be a farce to hide his feelings. If you prove to him that no matter what you only care about his life and wellbeing you'll find that he will progress much more.” Eir turned to the boy lying unconscious.

Healer Eir was right. When Loki woke up, he was a shell of his former self. He refused to look at anyone unless they asked and when he did, he'd panic so violently he'd have to be restrained. He had smashed every mirror, crying and clawing at his face.

“They're not mine! Take them back!” Loki would wail, rocking back and forth.

It destroyed the Odinhouse to see the clever little trickster reduced to who he was. He wouldn't let anyone touch him, we wouldn't eat or bathe or drink water.

Currently he had barricaded himself in a small closet and was refusing to let anyone in.

“I shall open it.” Thor said, only for Eir to stand in front of him.

“It is best if we coax him out. Forcing your way in will only make matters worse.” Eir suggested.

Thor felt incredibly frustrated. When he found Loki, he was so happy he'd get his brother back. He thought they'd be off on adventures with the warriors three and Sif. But this wasn't Loki. Loki wasn't the person to hide away and cry in fear.

Thor sat down, leaning his back on the door. “Loki, it is Thor.”

Loki said nothing and Thor wasn't even sure if Loki had heard him due to the muffled sobbing.

“Loki, I know… I know you are afraid. And that is okay. I would be afraid too, brother.”

There was a slight pause, as if Loki was considering what Thor said. Taking it as a good sign, Thor continued.

“I would be terrified. I would be suspicious of everyone. I would surely hate everyone that cared about me for being healthy and happy whilst I am not.” Thor sighed, continuing. “Even if you do not see it, we care. We care and that's why I am sitting on the floor talking to you. Because no matter where you came from I am your brother. Monsters are not born, Loki. They are made. And you are no monster.”

“Y-you said… You said… . Hunt em down… . ‘N slay em all…” Loki hiccuped.

Thor's guilt consumed him as he shook his head, even though Loki couldn't see it. “I also said I would grow up to be a Valkyrie. I have never been very wise, brother. That will always be your strong suit.”

Thor waited for Loki to quip back and mock him for his stupidity but Loki stayed silent. He did that a lot these days, obviously fearful of any repercussions despite how much everyone tried to show him there would be none.

“If you tell me what instills such fear in you then we can work with that. You will not do anything you want to do, Loki. You not in danger.” Although Thor knew it wasn't as easy as Loki immediately trusting his words but he hoped it could be a start.

“I… I don't wan’ to be under the water… In-In case I don't come out.” Loki's voice was barely audible through the door but Thor was able to make it out.

“Well I'm sure we can do something about that. What if I was there, too? Like how we used to do when we were younger?” Thor tried to sound cheerful to convince Loki but only had the opposite effect.

“You… . You can't see… .what the-they did…” Loki's sobs resumed, causing Thor's heart to ache even more.

“That is fine. You have said no. And so we shall not do it. You know on Midgard they took showers instead of baths. That way, the water isn't at a certain level. Or… You could do your hair and use a cloth? I'm sure you'd prefer to be clean. Mother recently bought the finest soaps she could find.”

Because whilst Loki was being dismembered, they were throwing his things away. Odin had surprisingly ordered many books for Loki, demanding that as many items be replicated as possible. Thor had moved to a room closer so that he could be by Loki in case of any night mares, which Loki had but would refuse to let Thor get close, screaming as if he did not recognize Thor. Perhaps he did not. Thor had read that some individuals who suffered from extreme events often hallucinated, more prominently in moments of distress.

“Y-you wi-ill n-n-not make me?” Loki sounded terrified, his voice soft and broken.

Thor immediately answered back. “Nobody will. I promise, brother.”

Thor had failed on so many promises to Loki but not again. Never would he let his brother suffer.

The door opened slowly but due to Thor leaning on it, it caused Thor to fall into the floor. He grunted, chuckling to not frighten Loki as he looked up into his brother's eyes.

“I-i-i am sorry!” Loki stuttered out, eyes red and puffy.

Thor chuckled softly, shaking his head. “I could never feel anger towards you. Believe me, brother.”

Loki seemed like he was waiting to be struck as Thor stood up slowly.

“Now, would you like to ask mother about those soaps?”

Loki hesitantly nodded his head, looking fearfully at the empty corridors. Thankfully Healer Eir had noted that Thor could handle the situation and had retreated, letting Thor walk Loki. At one point, there were others around and Loki seemed to panic more.

Thor merely outstretched his hand, offering it to Loki who stared in confusion. “I-I don't… . What should I do? I'm sorry but I don't…”

“If you would like to, you can hold it as we walk. Nobody is going to take me from you, brother.” Loki hesitantly placed his cold, metal hand in Thor's, who tried to not pull away with how foreign it felt and they were off.

Thor walked down the halls, Loki holding on far too tight but he said nothing. Loki seemed to still be adjusting to his right hand being a prosthetic where he was more comfortable with his left hand, sadly meaning he likely had his limbs removed over a long period of time. He didn't want to frighten Loki off or make him think that Thor was uncomfortable, so he smiled gently and led his brother to his mother.

Merely a week later, Loki was with his mother and so Thor decided it was time to see his friends. He had neglected them in favour of being there for Loki, something he never would regret. Too many times had he prioritised the warriors three and Sif over his own brother and he vowed to never do such a thing again.

A part of him was also afraid to leave Loki. What if something happened? What if Loki needed him? But his mother had reassured him that he would be fine and that she also wanted to be alone with her son and so Thor went out to the training fields, where Hogun was the first to greet him.

Chapter 3

“Thor.” The warrior waved as Thor jogged over, the group immediately coming together.

“We heard that Loki was back.” Sif put away her sword, looking to him for confirmation.

“Aye, so he is.” Thor nodded, smiling despite the difficult circumstances.

“What has the All-Father said? When will the trial take place?” Volstagg asked curiously.

“I heard he had fallen into madness.” Sif pointedly said, looking as if it were mildly amusing.

Was Sif always this way towards Loki or was he just hyper aware now? 

“Some rumours say he is not the Prince but a robot made to look like him. Now, of course that is untrue but-” Fandral rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.

“Wait, what did you say?” Thor turned his neck to Volstagg, feeling his heart stop. 

“A robot! I know! Can you believe what people will fall for?” Fandral chuckled, oblivious to Thor's rage.

“No, the trial part.” Thor clarified, hands curling into fists.

“Well, a trial.” Sif shrugged, clearly confused.

They all looked at each other, obviously wondering what Thor was so tense about.

“Why would there be a trial?” Thor scoffed, humourless.

“He let the frost giants in!” Sif shook her head, slightly mockingly as if it were obvious.

Thor jerked to her, livid, ignoring her look of surprise. “There was no proof! It was mere suspicion!”

“Well you cannot deny-”

“What I cannot deny is that you four abandoned him, willingly disobeying the King Regents orders!” Thor snarled, not realising how the grounds were silent as everyone else around them stopped to watch.

“To assist you in taking your rightful place on the throne, good friend! What has happened to you?” Fandral looked at him in concern, befuddled.

“I was not the rightful king! I was banished! And you wish to know what has happened to me? My brother returned!” Thor loudly boomed, more eyes turning their way.

They widened their eyes, unsure of why Thor was behaving in such a manner. He forever chose them over Loki. Why was he now suddenly behaving irrational?

“He returned limbless, with metal scraps instead!” Thor took a step closer to them, glaring at their horrified faces.

Sif gasped but he paid her no mind.

“With eyes that do not belong to him! With his tongue cut off, his throat slit, scars that I have not even seen on the most seasoned of warriors!” Thor snarled, they all stepped back in horror.

Whispers broke Thor's focus and he looked around to see everyone staring, no doubt fully aware of Loki's condition now. Regret hit him hard. Loki would be horrified to know of his weaknesses being public knowledge. And now Thor had exposed them to everyone all because he couldn't control his temper, just like the day the frost giants were let in.

He turned back to them, his voice shaking in anger and regret. “I am going to focus on my brother's recovery. If you don't approve of that, you have the option of never speaking to me or my brother again.”

“Thor…” Volstagg started, putting a hand on his shoulder but Thor easily pushed it away, storming off.

He was such a fool! He just made things worse. He stomped around, storming right into his father.

“Now, Thor. You have eyes. You should use them.” Odin reprimanded calmly.

“Is that a subtle comment about Loki?” He snapped back, not bothering to be kind.

Odin sighed, surprising Thor who imagined he'd be punished for talking back. “I love both of my sons.”

“And you still said no to him.” Thor retorted.

“Why don't we talk in my office? But we must talk. Not insult each other back and forth.” Odin suggested.

Thor sighed, nodding and following Odin silently.

Once they reached there, Thor immediately sat down on the couch, slumped.

“Now I know I didn't raise you to behave like this. Tell me, what troubles you?”

“I do not know. Everything?”

“But what in this moment?” Odin clarified, pouring in a glass of wine for himself, offering Thor one who shook his head.

“I… I lost my temper.”

Odin nodded as if that explained everything. “Ahhh.”

“I sought out the warriors three and Lady Sif. They… They expect a trial. And so I told them of Loki's… Predicament.” Thor said delicately.

“I see.”

“But Loki did nothing wrong. He was afraid and alone. And I told everyone of what happened. I shouted it so loud… The stories must be flying around. Loki will never forgive me.” Thor groaned.

“He does not need to. But maybe you can prove to him that it is okay. That no matter what others say, he still has you.

“He wants you too. I know it.” Thor looked at his father, who immediately became uncomfortable.

Odin sighed, looking more emotional than Thor had ever seen. “I have no idea how to face my boy. I played a big enough part. I am to blame. I stayed silent. And when I spoke…My words were harsh. Cruel, even. And now I must deal with the consequences of your actions.”

“But it is not about you. It is about Loki.” Thor said.

His father looked at him, eyes widening as if he was seeing Thor for the first time.

“I… I suppose you are right.” Odin said. “I have been thinking of myself. Of Asgard. of you. But not Loki. That is where I have made mistakes. I denied it every time he told me. I told him they were imagined slights. That I did not favour you. And then I told him that he was practically a war trophy.”

“Was he?” Thor asked.

Odin sighed, sitting down. “When I found Loki, my immediate thought was to kill him. I shan't lie to you. I thought to myself that I was doing the world a favour. Surely the little monster would grow to be one of their brutish soldiers training to bring Asgard to its knees.”

Thor shifted, trying to keep his anger inside at the fact that if his father had not had a mere change of heart he never would have met Loki.

“But then I came closer. I saw he was Laufey's son.”

“He is yours.” Thor clarified, voice stiff with anger. “You may not have raised him but you claimed him.”

Odin looked hurt but nodded anyway. “And when I picked him up and he changed into an Aesir form… All I could see was a helpless infant. I knew he could bring peace to our kingdoms but seeing his pale face, those green little eyes peering back. He had no idea who I was yet smiled at me as if I was all that mattered. I could not leave him behind. And then I grew to love him. I held him on my knee. I watched him play and grow up. Not once did I regret taking Loki.”

“Tell him this, not me.” Thor stood up. “How is Loki to know if you do not tell him?”

“Every time I see Loki I am filled with shame and regret.” Odin admitted, opening his mouth to continue only for a voice to gasp.

“Husband.” The two looked over to see Frigga, with Loki staring at the floor, eyes wide. Loki was shaking, eyes hazy and rocking slightly as he stood.

Chapter 4

“Loki.” Thor gasped. “How long have you been there? Did you hear what-”

“Let me finish!” Odin jumped up, ignoring Loki's flinch.

Loki tried to turn away but Odin grabbed his arm, causing Loki to let out a scream.

“Dear, let go!”

“Stop it!” Loki cried, hyperventilating as he shook heavily. 

The Einherjar came in but Frigga sent them away immediately, wanting privacy in this moment. She could not afford them whispering what they had seen. 

“No, he needs to listen!”

Loki flailed in his grip, screaming and kicking, managing to sink his teeth into Odin's hand but Odin did not let go.

Loki threw himself back, hitting a painting on the wall that fell but Odin moved it away, holding his son's metal arms. Thor attempted to pull Odin off Loki but Odin used Gungir to send him flying to the other side of the room, making sure to not actually hurt his eldest son.

“I am filled with shame and regret because I failed you! I am a bad father!” He said, watching Loki sob.

Loki seemed to still, causing them to let out sighs of relief until he kicked Odin straight in the chest. “You're not real, he'd never say that!”

Odin wasn't sure what was worse. The fact that his son thought this was an illusion or the fact that it was because Odin had never been so truthful and accepting of his failure.

“Loki, I am real. Your mother is real. Your brother, Thor, he is right there and he's real. And I am telling you now, my boy. I am sorry. I am a terrible, terrible father. You have every right to hate me. You could slay me now and I would not fight back.”

Frigga gasped but Odin didn't stop. He needed to stop lying.

“You are innocent. You deserved nothing of what happened. You are a child. My child. I made so many mistakes and every time you were brave enough to speak out I punished you for it.” Loki stopped flailing slowly, still curled up and shaking.

Odin moved his hands ever so gently to cup Loki's face, tears leaking from both of them. “I am truly sorry, Loki. I was not there for you. I was cruel. I was a bad father.”

Instead of fighting him, Loki sank into himself, crying. “It's real?”

Odin nodded, bringing his son in for a hug but making sure not to fully wrap his arms so as to not make him feel trapped. “Oh, what have I done?”

“Why weren't you there? Why didn't you save me? Why did you say no?” Loki cried into his fathers arms, who rocked him as if he were an infant.

“I'm so sorry, Loki. Please let me try again. You don't have to but please, I'm begging.” Odin cried, petting Loki's head, feeling the bumps of scars.

That night, the family dragged themselves to Odin and Friggas bedroom. The bed was big enough to fit at least ten people, made of gold.

As a child, Thor had slept in it often and so did Loki when the two had nightmares but Odin was quicker to deny Loki entrance as he aged.

They slept together that night, although Thor had to admit it was a little awkward when his father began snoring. Loki and Thor kept chuckling, Frigga between them so that she could embrace them both. Loki was on the end so that he wouldn't feel trapped.

“Shh boys, even the king of Asgard has his embarrassing moments.” She herself quietly chuckled.

“Have you tried putting wine corks in his nose?” Thor asked, causing Loki to have to turn to the side so that he wouldn't burst into laughter.

“I'll have to consider it.” She whispered back, happy to hear both of her children giggling every time her husband snored.

They all went to sleep eventually, embraced in each other's arms. That is until Frigga woke up to feel her back being kicked. She slowly opened her eyes, confused as she was lying on her back. However she noticed one side feeling too empty and looked over, bolting up at the sight of Loki missing.

Her boy was gone.

Notes:

Where's Loki? 👀 Uh oh!

Chapter 5

She immediately went to wake up Odin only to feel her back kicked again. Someone was under the bed. She listened, hearing quiet sniffling. She got off the bed, crouching down with a dagger in hand. Many overlooked her past as a warrior but Frigga was far more than capable of protecting herself.

She saw her little boy curled up, crying and twitching, hitting the mattress above her bed.

“Loki?” She whispered. “It is mother.”

Loki jerked to her, eyes widening in recognition. “Ma?”

Frigga nodded, ushering him over. “Come on, sweetie. It's hard under there with the gold floor.”

Loki shook his head. “You did this before and you were not real. You changed and you hurt me.”

“My boy, we are in Asgard. Do you not recall? Your father was snoring, Loki. And Thor suggested wine corks. Earlier we had dessert despite it being mid afternoon and then we went to the garden and you touched the flowers. Do you remember what flowers?”

Loki looked like he was thinking hard, turning back to look down again. “Th-there were roses.”

He looked as though he was afraid to get the answer wrong. “Did I do good?”

“You did exceptional, my darling. Now, why don't we go back to bed?”

Loki shook his head rapidly, banging it slightly on the floor. “No bed.”

“No bed? Okay. But do you feel comfortable with at least coming onto the carpet?” She whispered, not expecting Loki to provide a reason.

“I won't get off unless they let me. Bad things happen when they don't let me.” He whispered, looking around as though someone may overhear.

Frigga decided not to push for answers, wanting Loki to not get more upset. “They're gone, sweetie. You'll never see them again. Come to ma, we can sleep on the carpet. Are carpets good?”

Loki hesitantly nodded, wiggling out and into his mother's arms. And there they slept, embraced in each other's arms on the carpet.

In the morning, Frigga woke up to a pain on her forehead. She startled, grabbing on the confused Loki who had also woken up.

She looked up seeing a guilty Thor. “Sorry mother for stepping on you. Did you both roll off the bed?”

Frigga nodded, rubbing her forehead as Loki sat up.

“Did you all sleep well?” Odin stood up.

“We will if we buy some wine corks.” Thor muttered as Loki and Frigga chuckled.

“Wine corks? For what?” he asked, puzzled.

“Nothing, dear. Thor is just being silly.” She chuckled.

The group got ready for their day of duties, which for Loki was to relax and work on healing himself. Loki was still dangerously thin but it was difficult to get him to eat food so Frigga had many snacks put in Loki's room to let him decide when to eat them. She had read that those with trauma regarding food may hoard food due to feeling afraid of it being taken away or not receiving it for long periods of times. Her suspicions that Loki did that were confirmed when she noticed it was gone but that Loki was throwing away the disposable containers. She said nothing to not dissuade him from eating, just leaving more and more for him.

Currently, Thor and Loki were painting together. Neither of them were used to it but the healers said to try new, harmless things that didn't involve much movement.

“What colour is the sun?” Thor wondered aloud, concentrating hard.

“Wha- yellow…” Loki answered softly.

Thor nodded, continuing his masterpiece.

There was a knock on the door that sent Loki flinching violently, almost knocking over the pitcher of water nearby.

“Hey, hey. It's okay. I'll go see who it is.” Thor reassured him.

Loki nodded, visibly tense and afraid. It was so odd for Thor to see Loki like this. For so long he had wished Loki would share his emotions more but now that they were constantly displayed on his face it did not feel comforting in the slightest but more of a reminder of how much of his brother he had lost. 

Thor opened the door to see the Warriors Three and Sif standing there confidently.

“We come in peace.” Volstagg lifted a raspberry pie.

“Wh-who is it?” Loki asked.

Thor turned round, in which time Sif slowly walked in.

Loki clamped up immediately, not looking at them. It was not that he feared them but it was…Embarrassing. He was a mess. Nothing like their last meeting where they betrayed him to commit treason.

“We come in peace, Loki. Oh, painting?” Volstagg.

Loki silently nodded.

“This one's mine.” Thor proudly held up his portrait of his parents and Loki, which were really just stick figures holding hands in a scribbly green field of grass with a yellow circle at the top.

“Your hidden talent should stay hidden.” Hogun smirked.

Thor mockingly glared at him. “Oh, Loki. What's yours?”

Loki lifted up an intricate, half finished painting of mushrooms in a field with admittedly terrifying faces of horror, mouth black and dripping a black liquid, up. Art was supposed to help Loki feel better according to the books. Had he been attacked by talking mushrooms? It seemed unlikely but Thor made sure to later voice his concerns to his parents.

“H-how did you do that in the time it took me to do mine?” Thor huffed before smiling to not alarm Loki.

“I… I think they're both quite nice. Perhaps…S-s-s-Some shading on yours? Or you… you could add a sky?” He softly spoke, putting his painting back on the easel.

Offering criticism still caused fear in Loki but Thor's relaxed shoulders and light smile eased his worry.

The others snickered as Volstagg approached Loki, who flinched back a little.

Volstagg stopped, extending the pie. “My wife made this for you. You like sweet things, do you not?”

Loki looked depressed as soon as he said that, shrugging. “It is not as if I have the ability to taste anything now.”

The room went dead silent as the group immediately regretted not thinking their plan through.

“Well now you really are a silver tongue, huh?” Fandral joked, his smile dropping when Thor slowly turned to him with a face of horror.

Loki immediately walked out silently, leaving them all frozen.

Thor dragged himself to Fandral, who paled. “If you say something like that again the maidens you love to woo won't be able to recognise your face after Mjolnir smashes into it.”

Chapter 6

He left the room, heading to Loki's. He opened the door, seeing Loki sobbing on the floor, in a ball.

“Loki, he didn't mean it.” Thor shut the door, getting down on the floor.

“B-but it's true! I'm broken!” Loki cried, hands in his hair.

“You're not.” Thor insisted, in a twisted way hoping Loki was too upset to see his irritation at not being able to ‘fix’ his brother's stubborn view.

“I am! D-d-don't lie to me! I know what I look like now!” Loki cried, clearly heartbroken at the reminder. “And I can't fix myself. My arms… My legs… my face…My eyes… . They're all wrong!”

Thor knew he couldn't disagree with that. Loki was different now.

“But you're still Loki. You're still my brother.”

“But I'm not! I'm not your brother and I'm not Loki! I-I'm even more different now and it's worse.” Loki sobbed.

“Loki?” The door opened, Frigga slowly walking in, scanning the room and giving Thor a slight nod to let him know she'd handle this. “Fandral told me about what he said.”

“He's right. I am but silver and metal.” Loki looked down at his arms. “I am no longer me.”

The poor boy sounded devastated and Thor didn't know what to do. He looked at his mother for help, who swooped in and hugged him.

“My poor boy. You could be a worm and I'd still love you.” Frigga soothed her son.

“A-a worm?” Loki seemed just as caught off guard as Thor was. “I… A worm?”

Frigga looked in confusion. “Is something the matter, my dear?”

Loki shook his head. “No, ma, I just was not expecting a wo-worm. A cat or b-b-bilgesnipe but… A worm…”

“What an odd thing to settle on.” Thor chuckled, happy to see Loki had stopped crying.

“My dears, I was improvising.” Frigga chuckled.

“I… I want to visit the orphanage I go to.” Loki hesitantly said.

Thor and Frigga looked at each other in concern. “Are you sure, Loki?”

Loki nodded. “Mother told me you told h-her about me going there. I want to go… I usually purchase items from near by markets and donate it and I have not been recently so…”

“Who would you like to go with you?” Frigga asked. “And how would you like to go? It might gain some attention.”

Loki suddenly turned into a little black kitten with green eyes, small enough to fit in Frigga's hand.

“Well that settles the attention problem.”

“Loki, I thought you couldn't use magic yet. Have you been practising?” Frigga asked.

Loki let out a small mew to confirm.

“Why a kitten?”

“His magic is still healing. He most likely can only transform into forms that connect well with him.”

Loki let out a little mew of annoyance, earning two chuckles.

“I apologize, Loki. Thor can take you with some guards?”

“Nay, that will attract more attention. I'll be fine with the little thing.”

Loki let out another undignified mew, hobbling over to Thor and booping him with his nose on his knee.

“Ferocious, aren't you? I adore your confidence. Anyway, will I need anything for him?” Thor picked up the tiny kitten.

“Fish, water, milk and remember he will be asleep through most of the trip. Transfiguration requires much energy. And he also isn't in the most… Large and mature of forms.”

Loki was already dozing off in Thor's hand.

“Wait… If he's asleep and in this form will I be doing the gifting then? Do I tell them Loki is with me?”

Frigga looked to Loki. “Is that alright with you, my dear!”

Loki nodded, mewing again softly as he napped in Thor's hand.

And so it was settled. Thor would travel on his steed, Loki napping in his pocket peacefully, with his essentials.

It was a strange and peaceful adventure. Usually he had the warriors three and lady Sif to accompany him. He rarely left the palace with his brother, preferring loud and boisterous friends who could visit the taverns. On the way, many people tried to stop him to ask about his health or rumours of Loki but he kindly brushed them all off, saying he was busy on a noble quest.

Eventually, they had reached the market. The people weren't as welcoming, however. They looked at him distastefully as if he had personally offended them. The area was incredibly run down and most of the people were dressed in rags, thin and unhealthy. He approached a random stall for blankets run by a frail old woman who stared stoically.

“Good afternoon, ma'am. I wish to enquire about purchasing all of your blankets.”

“I see. All of them?” She said, looking mildly surprised yet still suspicious and hostile.

Before he could reply, Loki crawled his way out of Thor's pocket.

“Mew!” He squeaked out and the woman burst into a smile.

“Young Prince! I am glad to see you are well!” The woman smiled at him, recognising the little kitty immediately.

How she did so Thor had no idea.

“Ah yes, I am here with Loki to purchase things to give to the young orphans.” Thor awkwardly said, not enjoying the hostile stares of passerbyers at all.

“Ah, well here you go then. I'm afraid I don't have anything wrapped. Will you be able to manage?” Thor could've sworn her voice was mocking as she tilted her head at him.

“I will indeed manage.” He gritted his teeth, walking off once he grabbed them all.

“Such rude citizens. And not even blankets of good quality, Loki.” Thor muttered.

“Well not everyone is born with a golden spoon in their mouth, Crown Prince.” A red haired woman passed him by. “At least Loki was aware of that.”

She walked off before Thor had a chance to reply. These people should be glad they had a Prince in their midst. He hoped they didn't speak to Loki that way.

He went through various markets collecting foods too and found he had similar experiences with the vendors.

He eventually found the orphanage, expecting the children to swarm him happily, but they were far more interested in the little kitty cat they immediately identified as Loki. It was as if Thor didn't exist!

He would be complaining to mother about the lack of manners of these people. How Loki could stand them he knew not. He had to warn them several times that Loki was a small kitten now and he didn't want to be bombarded with noise and pets. The children still tried anyway and Thor thought it was best for them to leave.

Loki, predictably, slept the whole way back home, too tired to even eat his fish or drink water.

“Mother, guess who I have?” He smiled, approaching his parents and revealing Loki in his tiny form, napping. “He wouldn't wake up, I'm confused. Is he unwell?”

“Nay, just tired. He shouldn't be using his seidr at all. Once he's awake and has the energy to be his normal form then we'll let him know not to do that.” Odin regretted the use of ‘normal form’ considering Loki was a frost giant but it had already been said.

The three of them sat around eating dinner, letting Loki nap on the table. It was a little distracting for Thor but thankfully Odin allowed it.

“So… When will he change back?” Thor asked.

Frigga looked over, smiling as Loki wiggled slightly in his sleep, accidentally sticking his back paw in a salad plate. “When he's rested enough. And then when he's eaten.”

True to her word, that did actually happen. Surprisingly not in the way Thor thought it would though. He had placed a dish of water in front of Loki once they were alone in his room, placing the sleeping kitten in front of it and tapping him until he woke up.

Loki, confused, tumbled straight into the plate. Thor chuckled until Loki turned into his human form again, screeching as he flew back from the water.

“No, Loki! It's just water!” Thor panicked, suddenly remembering Loki's fear of water.

“Wh-wha?” Loki looked around, crying and coughing, spluttering out water.

“I'm sorry, you were a kitten and I was trying to wake you up and I didn't think about it very clearly! You're okay, I'm here!” Thor got on the ground as Loki sobbed, suddenly remembering where he was.

“You promised, Thor! Y-you said you wouldn't make me! You're a liar! You're not Thor! Get out, get out!” Loki screamed, his voice hoarse as he continued.

“Loki, I didn't mean it!”

“Out!” Loki screamed, throwing items at Thor, most of which he managed to dodge.

“I'm trying to help you, brother!”

It was as if something inside Loki had snapped, letting him freely express his innermost thoughts. “Help me? ! Where were you when I had my limbs torn from my body, huh? Drinking in taverns? Out in the woods with your friends? Where was your help then, brother?!”

Loki said the term brother as mockingly as he possibly could, Thor knew he was not prepared to accept Thor's support.

Chapter 7

Summary:

Sif may seem like she's irredeemable and stuck in her ways but don't give up hope so easily!

Loki drove him out and he ran straight to find his mother, running into Healer Eir on her way to Loki's room. How had the mood changed so fast? How had Thor messed up so quickly? Was it just in his nature to fail at taking care of Loki?

He hyperventilated as he grabbed the startled woman by her shoulders. “L-Loki! In his room! He threw me out!”

Healer Eir ran to Loki as Thor ran to his parents, hoping his brother wouldn't hate him.

However, in the following months it seemed Loki did. It was not easy to gain back Loki's trust the second time. He had grown closed off and angry, although too afraid to act on it usually. He clung to mother, often literally holding fistfuls of her dress so that he could feel more stable. Even their father had to deal with Loki's anger as Loki was ready to direct to anyone he came into contact with with the exception of Frigga and Healer Eir. He stayed inside, usually reading his books but from the few times Thor was able to glance inside, as Loki had banned him from entering, he saw many were ripped.

Loki grew defiant and seemed to constantly push buttons of those around him, which was admittedly a small group.

“He's possibly trying to punish you for what he holds you accountable for.” Healer Eir spoke when the three met up after one of Loki's fits in which he was sedated due to slamming his head repeatedly into a wall.

“Letting him go?” Thor gulped, his mind replaying his failure at convincing Loki to just hold on. 

Healer Eir looked conflicted as she spoke eyes darting to Odin. “How he feels about his life. How… Certain individuals have behaved with him. But it could also be him trying to establish how far he can push you before you grow possibly violent. He isn't used to unconditional love and so he's trying to prove that it doesn't exist. That way, Prince Loki is right and he was smart for not believing in us.”

“So how do we show him he's wrong?”

“You have to be slow. Go at Loki's pace. You do not want to push him to be the old Prince. You want to encourage him to heal. Be very careful with your words and actions. Carelessness will seem malicious to him.” She made sure to look at Thor especially.

 

Meanwhile, Sif was livid. Thor had grown distant with her and the others and it was clear it was Loki's doing. Granted, he had suffered but everyone had in some ways! Sif's reputation had taken a hit after it was discovered that she had disobeyed the regent's words. She wouldn't have been able to escape execution if it weren't for Thor and her reputation as one of Asgard's finest warriors. 

Apparently, according to the gossip the two had had a falling out due to Thor giving his brother water when he did not want it. Why couldn't Loki just move on from the past? Brush the dirt off his shoulders and face challenges head on instead of being so dramatic and particular? That's what a true warrior would have done. Alas, Loki was no true warrior. He was not even a true man.

And so she had decided to confront Loki one day. She walked to the gardens after hearing he apparently spent much time with the flowers. How typically ergi of him.

Sif found him and grimaced, looking at the scars. He truly was even more of an unpleasant sight. A small part of her brain told her it was justified for cutting off her hair when they were younger.

“Loki.” She walked over, sitting beside him.

He tensed up, looking to the side immediately.

“Apologise to Thor.”

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me.”

“Why would I do such a thing?”

“Look. I know you have suffered. But everyone has. Suffering is part or growing up and you have much of it to do if you continue to behave this childishly towards what happened to you. Thor is trying to help you.” she attempted to reason with him.

Loki stilled and Sif thought he might run away before he slowly looked in her eyes, blue eyes full of anger and hurt.

“I am childish?”

“Aye.” Sif scoffed, a tight expression plastered on her face as she raised a challenging brow.

“We all have suffered, Sif? No-noody I know had their limbs removed from them. My eyes were clawed out of my face. I lost my left arm be-because it was eaten off my body. I lost my right because I passed out when my legs were being removed. I had my brain prodded into and my skull cut open wh-whilst I was fully c-c-conscious. I had metal hooks shoved in his shoulders to keep me from falling to the ground. I was waterboarded. Burnt. Stabbed. I-I-I-I had my bones broken over and over again. I had my skin peeled off and was forced to eat it.” His voice grew more and more unsteady, full of bitterness and rage. “And where were you all? Suffering? Like I was?”

“Well-” Sif tried to justify.

“Do not forget that you and your friends were the first to abandon me, Lady Sif.” He spat the words out, standing up.

She grabbed his arm, only for him to use his other to grab her wrist hard enough to snap it. She let out a cry of pain, moving to strike him only for Thor to run over, pushing her away. She had not even noticed his appearance, too distracted by Loki's stubborn behaviour. This was not good. She wished to scold Loki without Thor beside him to justify what the trickster was doing.

“What are you doing?” Thor growled at her.

Loki had attacked her! Why was she being treated this way?

“Control your pet, Thor.” Loki stomped off, leaving the two behind him.

Loki stormed into the library, settling in a little corner and collecting a few books. He rocked back and forth slightly to ground himself as he read, groaning when he ripped another page. He threw the book on the floor, letting it smack loudly. He buried his head in his knees, feeling the hard metal of his legs under his clothing.

Chapter 8

“What great offence did that book cause you? I shall defend your honor for you, my prince.” Loki flinched, looking up to see Fandral smiling nervously, with his hands behind his back as if concealing something.

“What is behind your back?” Loki stiffened, summoning a dagger stealthily and sliding it up his sleeve.

Fandral immediately looked regretful, showing him… Black gloves? They were black with gold linings and an L in cursive green on the side of the pair.

“It's my apology for my… poor attempt at humour I made some time back. I thought about letting it go but it is not my place to choose that. I apologise it took so long. I had to get them custom made.”

Loki stared at them before he looked back at Fandral. “How do I know they're not cursed? Or lined with poison?”

He spoke as if it were mere teasing but a true part of Loki was still convinced every act of kindness had some ulterior motive behind it. Sure, were his thoughts far fetched? Absolutely. But a part of him wanted to express his distrust. To remove the cloak of fake friendship that had donned them all for centuries. And to the young trickster it made sense. If Fandral wished to truly befriend him then he should be subjected to the tests Loki had in store to prove himself. Otherwise he was unworthy.

Fandral stared blankly at him, unsure of how to respond. “Um, well I could take you to the crafter. And they could prove it.”

“And risk you leading me to somewhere else to kill me? Or maybe you paid off the crafter.” His argument with Sif had given him a sudden burst of confidence and reassurance he hadn't felt in so, so long.

“How about your mother? She could verify my gift. They're to stop you from ripping the book pages. I figured you'd have that problem.” Fandral awkwardly smiled.

Loki looked down at the torn up book and nodded, hesitantly standing up. “Okay.”

Together, the two walked side by side in silence until they reached where Frigga was with her usual ladies in waiting.

“Oh, hello Loki! And hello Fandral!” Frigga smiled.

Loki nervously looked around, avoiding eye contact with his mother's friends.

He knew they were good people because his mother had chosen them but they were still mere strangers to him.

“Ma, Fa-Fandral needs you to check that these are not poisoned.” Loki blurted out.

Fandral looked at him in confusion before deciding to play alone. “I got these custom made as a gift to Loki but you can never be too careful, my Queen.”

Frigga looked knowingly between them before looking them over before nodding. “These are completely safe. And magnificent, Fandral.”

Fandral beamed, bowing. “Thank you my Queen.”

“Th-thank you…Fandral.” Loki turned to him as Fandral slowly stepped forward.

“Can I? Put them on you?” Fandral nervously asked.

Loki stared at him as if he wanted to run away. Frigga opened her mouth to gently let Fandral down only for Loki to slightly nod his head.

“Was that a yes, dear?” Frigga carefully asked.

Loki nodded without looking at her, extending his hands. Fandral noticed Loki's hands were shaking and looked up, noticing Loki looked rather afraid. Did Loki only agree because he felt pressured? Was he trained to just agree whenever?

If Fandral proved that he wouldn't be hurt though… Maybe Loki was just scared. Fandral looked at Frigga who looked incredibly pleased as Fandral slowly put the gloves on. Loki breathed a slow sigh of relief once it was over, turning over his hands. He screwed up his fists and opened them, smiling softly.

“Do you like them, Loki? The material will soften the grip when you turn your pages.” Fandral smiled hopefully.

Loki nodded, feeling grateful but oddly angry. Now was the time when people thought about his comfort? It took torture for Fandral to treat him like a person?

And if Loki ever recovered… If he ever returned to the person he once was… Would he just be abandoned again? Cast aside in Thor's shadow?

Loki looked at the gloves and back at Fandral, who looked hopeful. Nobody ever wanted to know if he liked something before. Nobody ever cared.

He nodded, walking off and ignoring everyone's calls.

He walked past Sif in the corridors near his bedchambers, who looked at him as if unsure of how to approach him.

“Loki…” She called after him but he ignored her, rage and fear building up inside him.

Was this it? Loki in his prime? The Loki everyone liked was someone they could pity? They most likely enjoyed seeing him so subdued. So humbled. And earlier he had spilled so many secrets to Sif. There was no doubt she had been secretly smug the entire time, gleefully listening to him and thinking of just how pathetic he was.

Loki reached his rooms, looking around. It wasn't the same. All of his items had been burnt once he was assumed dead and his funeral took place and what was in his room now were now just replicas.

He threw the gloves on the floor, choking on his sobs as he kneeled down, resting his back on the door. Truthfully, Loki was not even sure why he was in tears. The torture? His father? His brother? Sif? The looks of pity? The whispers of his supposed madness?

There were so many things all at once, it consumed him from the inside out. Yet he was expected to play along with everyone else as if everything was going to be okay. These people had continued their lives whilst he was suffering. Loki's had stopped the second he fell into the void.

He was a mere corpse, walking around with no true meaning. He could not be king, after all. Not only was he a filthy frost giant but he was damaged. A shell of his former self.

Before he knew what he was doing, he dragged his study desk to him, holding himself from collapsing on the floor as his body shook with the sheer force of his cries. His hands shakily grabbed at his bed sheets, tears blurring his vision as he tied it as best as he could. He looked up at the golden chandelier above the chair, tying it from there and tugging hard to make sure it could support his weight. Of course it could, the chandelier was perfect like every other thing in Asgard with the exception of him. His knees buckled as he stood up, climbing on the chair and putting the makeshift noose around his neck.

Chapter 9

His sobs had reduced themselves to quiet hiccups as he closed his eyes, only to hear the familiar voice of Thor outside his room. “Loki? Sif would like to apologise.”

Loki wept as silently as he could, furious at the norns for being so cruel as to let Thor be the last voice he heard.

“We were wondering if you'd like to go to the gardens? Or perhaps show off your new gloves. Oh, Fandral is here too! He hopes you found them suitable.” Thor added on, hope evident in his voice.

A small part of Loki silently begged Thor not to leave. To not abandon him. To not allow him to die. But another wanted to save Thor from being tied to him, and if tying this makeshift noose around his neck would do that then he had to.

“I think he just wants to be alone.” Fandral quietly whispered, clearly trying to avoid being heard by Loki.

Loki did not want to be left alone. He wanted Thor to open the door. He wanted Thor to fix him, not only returning him to his original self but fixing his personality.

“Ah, Loki we will catch up with you another day. Come out soon, brother. We need to finish our paintings.” At the reminder of the paintings, Loki lost his balance in distraction and tumbled off, the bedsheet securely around his neck.

He coughed, wheezing as the chair banged against the floor, the door smashing open immediately from Thor due to the sudden noise.

“Loki!” His brother sounded alarmed, only to let out a scream of horror at Loki hanging from the ceiling.

It felt as though years had passed in the time it took Thor to wrench the bedsheet down, taking the chandelier down with him. Loki wheezed, coughing as he hit the floor.

“Loki, please, why would you do that?” Thor had tears freely dripping from his face as he held Loki in his arms, who whimpered and coughed, sucking in air.

“I-I'll get a healer!” Loki faintly heard Sif splutter, running out.

Fandral slowly stepped in, looking past Loki at something else. Loki weakly turned his head, noticing the crackle of the fireplace that he had neglected to notice. As he looked at it, he noticed something was burning in it. Black leather, it appeared. He had thrown the gloves into the fire. Fresh tears leaked down his face. Of course he had ruined the one nice thing Fandral had done for him.

Out of all of Thor's friends, Fandral was the one he hated the least. Fandral had actually been Loki's friend many years ago. The elder had struggled with reading and Loki found it exciting to teach an older kid something and not get reprimanded for being a know it all. Furthermore, Fandral had enjoyed how Loki was never condescending, clearly just wanting to help Fandral.

However, Fandral had begun to catch the eye of Thor, who always enjoyed having an extra playmate. Soon, Fandral was standing Loki up for their little reading lessons, saying he was busy learning to be a warrior. And then he merely never showed up.

Yet, as much as Loki despised Fandral for choosing Thor like all the others and Thor for stealing away someone who was willing to at least give him a chance, he still couldn't despise the man. Fandral occasionally defended Loki, sometimes even being friendly if the others weren't around.

Now that Loki thought of it, he acted towards Fandral similarly to how he acted towards Odin. Like a starving, neglected pet hiding in the shadows, hoping for an occasional pat on the head, desperate for scraps of affection to prove it was still worthy of love.

“Oh, Loki, what happened?” Eir sighed, returning with Sif.

By now, Loki was numb, lying there as the bruises on his neck began to form. He stared at the ceiling, broken from the chandelier being wrenched down. Dust fell onto him and Thor as he stared, thinking.

He felt hands gently sit him up and he kicked them off without sparing a glance, looking above.

“Loki, we need to help you.”

Help him? Why now? It was too late now. He was broken. Not even a full person considering half of him consisted of metal scraps.

“How long was he hanging?”

“I- F-for a few se-seconds, we heard the ch-chair…” Thor trailed off as Eir breathed a sigh of relief.

“His neck hasn't snapped, if he was only hanging for a few seconds there should be no brain damage or long lasting issues.”

“Brain damage?” Fandral was ignored as Eir sat beside him.

“Loki, you need to let me touch you.” Her hand slowly landed on his leg.

Loki kicked again on instinct like a frightened deer, yet he didn't curl up, merely choosing to lay there.

“What if Thor helped you up?” She sounded desperate, almost, to Loki.

“Brother…” Loki felt Thor softly grab his hand but Loki yanked it away to his chest, not wanting Thor to feel how wrong he felt. It wasn't as if Loki could feel him anyway. He had long since forgotten the sensation of his hand being held anyway.

“Loki, I need you to answer us. Or at least look at us, please. Anyone.” Loki could hear the desperation in Eir's voice but he just stared.

He saw Thor entering his line of vision only for Eir to say “No, it is vital that he does it on his own.”

Loki lay there, gathering his energy until he slightly moved his head, letting his head fall once he felt he had done enough. His eyes landed on Fandral, who jumped slightly at being Loki's focus. Loki desperately wanted to tell Fandral that burning his gloves was an accident but he had not the words to speak.

“You're doing wonderful, Loki. Could Fandral help you up?” Eir clearly noticed that Loki had chosen Fandral by the look in his eyes.

Would Fandral forgive him if Loki let him? He stayed still, numbness making it practically impossible to do anything.

“Fandral is going to hold your arm and if you want him to stop that is okay, Loki.” Eir said, Fandral becoming tense.

He looked afraid as he approached Loki as if Loki were a bloodthirsty Aesir-eating dragon. Loki inwardly winced at that look. Why would Fandral ever want to touch his filthy frost giant skin? Or whatever was even left of it.

Loki stayed still, wanting to prove that Fandral had nothing to fear of him. Loki wasn't evil, just wrong and dirty. He laid still and limp as Eir guided Fandral how to hold him. He wanted to thrash and kick. He wanted to scream about how nobody was allowed to touch him. But he could not bring it in himself to hurt Fandral once more. Fandral who had noticed Loki’s struggles with ruining his beloved books. Fandral who had made him gloves in his preferred colours. Fandral who had humoured him when Loki was afraid of being poisoned. Fandral who kept quiet when he told mother it was his idea to check for the poison.

And so he didn't move, letting Fandral carry him to the healers wards where he was placed on a bed and examined.

Chapter 10

 

His mother had come in with tears in her eyes and even Odin's eyes seemed damp. That was rather strange, Loki thought. Was Odin disappointed Loki had not succeeded? 

He ignored them, leaving once it was allowed to his rooms only to notice something was wrong. His daggers. All of them were gone. Panicking, he searched under his mattress, inside his pillowcase, inside the thicker books. Nothing was there. His sheets had small holes that reminded him of gauze and anything he could hang himself off of was gone. He spun around, furious eyes meeting Odin's now dry ones. 

“What have you done?” He snapped as his mother came in. 

“It was for your safety.” Odin replied, cool and calm. 

Loki scoffed, stepping close to him. “Where was your concern for my safety when I was hanging off the Bifrost?” 

Frigga herself was still in tears, closing her eyes for a few seconds to compose herself “Dear-”

Loki ignored her, desperate for answers. “No, tell me! Tell me why you pretend to be concerned for my safety when you did such a thing to me! You do not get to act as if nothing happened! As if you did not claim me as a stolen relic!”

Odin stepped to the side, looking at Loki's room with anguish at the idea his boy could have been lost to him in here. “I claimed you as my son!”

“You lie! You never could do such a thing and you could never do it now!” Loki spat.l venomously, moisture in his eyes. “You cannot even look at me!”

Loki let out a bitter, humourless chuckle. “Can't you stand to look at the son of your enemy? Why go through all this trouble when you could have left me to die?”

“How was I supposed to do such a thing?” Odin boomed, swiftly turning to him. “How, Loki? How could I have?”

Loki shook with anger and fear simultaneously, feeling as though he was losing his grip on where he was. “Well you should have! It would have spared me from what I have become! I am not even a full frost giant! Do you expect me to be grateful for being alive when I do not even count as a full person anymore?”

Loki only now realised he was crying. “How could you be so cruel to force me to live like this?! I have survived so far but it has not been what I want! Nobody has ever asked what I want!”

“Loki…” Frigga wiped her own tears. 

“And the one time I showed you, you let me go! You told me no!” Loki sobbed at his father, who looked stricken with grief. “Why? Why did you do such a thing? You knew I would have held on had you said something different! And you still let go!”

Loki screamed, slapping his head repeatedly with his prosthetic arms, pain rushing through his head. 

“You let go!” Odin roared, grabbing Loki's arms only for Loki to strike him. 

Loki froze, looking down at his stunned adoptive father. Whom he had just slapped. Would he be thrown into the dungeons to be forgotten about? Would he be tried and executed? He slapped the King. He had hit the King! 

He fell to the floor, smashing his head against the floor as if he could forget what he had done. He sobbed hysterically, feeling Odin's arms around him. Odin was going to kill him. 

“Get off! Please, just let me die!” He sobbed, Odin holding him tight. 

“Shhh, my boy… Please let your father do this.” Odin whispered, his arms tight around Loki as Loki cried. 

“Why could you not have said yes? It is all I wanted!” Loki sobbed, his body shaking hard with every wail. “You have no idea what they did to me! Because I was Odin's son!”

Odin gently rocked him as if he were an infant in his arms, his tears soaking into Loki's shoulder as he held his boy tight. “Whoever did this… I will make them pay.”

“You cannot win.” Loki shook his head. “You cannot! I tried, I tried… And look at what they have made of me!”

Father had no idea what that monster was capable of. Father and everyone else would suffer. 

“We are all going to die… He is coming. He thinks I am dead but once he knows…” Loki couldn't talk any more, his breath so hysterical he couldn't talk anymore.

He leaned back on his father, crying openly as his head pounded. He hadn't notice his mother leaving the room, letting the two have their moment. 

“Shhh, my beautiful boy. My little Loki.” His father used one hand to caress his hair, removing such a tight grip on Loki and letting Loki freely lie back on him. 

“I am scared, father.” Loki cried, closing his eyes. “I am so so scared.”

“I shall be here, my boy.” Odin soothed his son to sleep, sighing once Loki grew limp after he slept. 

He sighed, looking down. Odin was terrified. Who was capable of hurting Loki like this? This foul beast knew Odin. He clearly despised him enough to torture his son like this. But Odin could not think of an enemy alive that had this much power. 

 

No. 

 

Surely… 

 

Surely it wasn't someone presumed dead? 

 

Odin tensed, pushing those thoughts away. His boy needed him. He sighed, slowly lifting Loki up. His son was certainly very light these days but his prosthetic limbs weighed him down. Plus, Odin was certainly not getting any younger. He just hoped he lived long enough for Loki to forgive him. 

He carried him to his bed, placing him neatly and tucking him in as if he were a small child again. He could remember doing this plenty of times with Thor, reading stories and watching Thor desperately try to stay awake so he could hear the ending. But never with Loki. At the time he told himself he was too busy but it was clear Loki had known the truth from even that age. Odin just couldn't stand to look at him. 

Times had changed but it was no wonder why Loki was still so afraid of his fathers love. He could not recognize it. 

He walked off, shutting the door to find Frigga but not before leaving a note for Loki. 

Loki woke up hours later, with an ache in his stomach and head. He groaned, sitting up in confusion. He could not remember taking himself to bed. And then it hit him. Loki had slapped the All-Father. He gasped, panicking as he stood up only to feel something on his forehead. 

He ripped it off only to see a now crumpled note in his father's handwriting. A letter informing him of a trial? So soon? It was cruel but nothing Loki did not expect. 

Loki, my boy. I am very proud of you for sticking up for yourself. There will be no repercussions for doing so. Your father loves you, my boy. I do not regret choosing you. 

 

 

 

Chapter 11

Loki sniffled, wiping away his tears as he rubbed his head as he thought about the note. It was hard to believe after so many years of neglect and slight after slight but only time would tell of Odin's intentions. Loki was at his weakest,after all, and would not be difficult to remove. He was hungry. He looked out the window, seeing it was past evening. No doubt somebody would be bringing him a meal saved for him but he couldn't bear to deal with anyone and so he slipped his shoes on, scurrying down the halls to the old kitchens.

Loki felt himself relax as he prepared a hearty meal for himself, making sure to add no meat. He couldn't stand meat. Not after what had happened in the void. He cracked open an egg as he enjoyed the sizzle of it cooking, smiling softly. As he prepared his dinner, he also worked on dessert. He made a small fudge cake, preparing to top it off with all sorts of little decorations he had been able to craft once it was done baking.

Loki had always loved cooking although he had been forced to stop, others not wanting him to be even more argr than he was. And now nobody could stop him. He could make his food and he would not be punished or poisoned by accepting another person's meal.

He froze when he heard heavy footsteps that he could recognize.

“What is that phenomenal smell?” A familiar voice murmured.

Of course. Of course the smell had attracted Volstagg, who would eat anything as long as it wasn't mouldy and covered with maggots. Volstagg froze once he saw Loki standing there, spatula instinctively held like a weapon.

“Oh.” Volstagg awkwardly stopped, looking around.

“I… I was just…” Loki trailed off, bracing himself for a careless mocking joke about his masculinity.

As if he hadn't heard enough of them.

“I do apologise, Loki, the smell… I will leave.”

Loki hoped he wouldn't regret the next thing he said. “Would you like some?”

Volstagg immediately turned round, a little too fast for Loki's liking, causing him to flinch. “Truly?”

Loki hesitantly nodded, lowering down the spatula and turning over the eggs. “I-I do not mind.”

Volstagg sheepishly smiled, sitting down on a stool. “It does smell ravishing. Do you have any meat?”

Loki shook his head sharply, his smile gone as he stiffly spoke. “No meat.”

Volstagg didn't push for an answer, nodding respectfully. “So, how do you know about this place? I mean, why not ask the kitchen staff?”

“I prefer making it myself. Nobody can poison it. I know what is in it.” Loki instinctively made sure his back was not to Volstagg as he added more ingredients in, knowing eventually the kitchen staff would realise someone was taking from them.

He knew Volstagg would not hurt him but still. He deserved to be on guard.

“And… pardon me if this is rude but… Will your arm not melt?” Volstagg hesitantly asked, almost bracing himself for Loki to get upset.

Loki, to Volstagg's surprise, chuckled. “Nay, they will not.”

Volstagg nodded, feeling more confident now that he had put Loki in a good mood. “So is that why you do not attend feasts? For fear of being poisoned?

“Partly. I never have enjoyed feasts. Too much talking. Too many people.” Loki turned over the new eggs, removing the cooked ones and adding those to his dish.

“W-well I could taste your food beforehand to ensure there's no poison.” Volstagg looked hopeful, practically already imagining his extra portions.

Loki chuckled, passing him the bowl of leftover chocolate fudge. “Taste test this.”

Volstagg gladly accepted, eyes widening when he licked the spoon. “By the norns, Loki! Where did you learn to do this?”

“Midgard. Many years ago, Heimdall would let me visit so I could stay up to date on it. It was merely an excuse to learn recipes.” Loki wasn't even sure why he was telling Volstagg but it felt nice to have a conversation without having to mention the trauma he had gone through.

It felt normal.

“You have a true talent in this.” Volstagg smiled, practically inhaling the leftovers.

“If we were having this conversation before I let go you'd have blabbered to everyone of how ergi I am.” Loki chuckled, voice slightly bitter as he prepped two plates, one considerably full more than the other.

Volstagg looked immediately guilty, looking ready to defend himself.

“I have no interest in you defending yourself. Just know… If you ever have too much mead and spill this secret of mine then you will not, “ he went to hand the plate to volstagg only to wrench it back at the last second, restraining himself from laughing at Volstagg's upset face “Eat anything again from me. And when you do eat, it'll taste like horse manure for the rest of your life.”

Volstagg nodded, rather timidly, as Loki handed him the plate.

Loki pulled out his cake, piping the fudge on it as he used his other hand to eat. He added an assortment of chocolate sprinkles and grated chocolate pieces, smiling as he let it cool down.

“Does anybody else know of this place?” Volstagg happily ate, watching the boy.

Loki shook his head. “This used to be the kitchens before it was abandoned for the bigger one. Nobody ever visits so I have unofficially claimed it.”

“May I ever join you? I must say I admire how you have better skills than the seasoned professional chefs.” Volstagg looked at the smiling boy, who nodded.

“I am not here often but I can leave snacks if I am here when you are not.” Volstagg hadn't seen Loki look so content.

It was odd, really. Loki never seemed happy with where he was or what he was doing. Especially since he had returned. And now he was enjoying his little hobby that was a secret from many to protect his image.

Volstagg had always, along with everyone else, assumed Loki cared not for how others saw him. He saw it as cowardly that he refused to participate in what boys his age usually did. But perhaps Volstagg was the cowardly one.

Chapter 12

“I had always assumed that to be brave you had to be a warrior. Trained with a sword. Ready to attack head on.” Volstagg blurted out, hands twisting as he put down his almost finished plate.

Loki's eyebrows raised, clearly unsure of where this was going.

“But… I believe I am wrong. It seems braver to do what you want in spite of what others are saying. Instead of being a sheep.” Volstagg’s voice was quiet as he felt shame sweep over him, coming to terms with who he truly had been in the past.

A grown man picking on a boy.

“Where could you possibly be going with this?” Loki’s voice seemed nonchalant but Volstagg was sure he was feeling… Something.

“I… I never saw true bravery until I saw you, Loki. And I convinced myself your bravery was cowardice. To distract myself from the fact that I am the coward.” Volstagg admitted, sighing.

There was a small pause as Loki looked down, unsure of how to respond. “Well it's not as if being brave did any favours for me, did it?”

Volstagg wanted to remind Loki of his talents but figured he should not do so. After all, he was always quick to mock those very talents.

“So… Eat your food. And eat your cake.” Loki changed the subject.

“I am allowed cake?” Volstagg perked up, making Loki chuckle as Loki nodded.

They both ate in silence, Volstagg watching Loki add little decorations to the cake. It was odd. The two never really spoke and when they did it was nothing short of hostile. Yet now they sat in an abandoned kitchen, eating food without a care in the nine realms for anything else.

Eventually, it became a common occurrence for Volstagg and Loki to meet up. Things were still tense with the others but everyone had noticed Loki seemed slightly more cheerful on random days. And Volstagg's friends had noticed he had been disappearing occasionally.

“Where could he be going?” Fandral followed Hogun, hiding behind a wall as they followed the chipper large man. “Surely he is not… being unfaithful?”

Hogun wanted to chuckle at his friend's thought but admittedly was also considering that as an option. Volstagg was a kind man though and he adored his wife. He couldn't imagine Volstagg straying from her with someone from the palace.

“Let us see.” They followed him down to an empty part of the castle, one they hadn't explored in their time here.

They heard muffled voices from one specific door, pressing their ears to it.

“Oh, this is marvellous!” they heard a familiar voice moan loudly.

Fandral gasped, about to kick the door open, sword in hand before Hogun grabbed him from behind, a hand pulling from around his stomach.

“Shhh, let us not run in screaming. We walk in slowly lest we see Volstagg naked.” Hogun whispered. “Give them time to dress themselves.”

“He does not deserve modesty!” Fandral whisper yelled, earning Hogun pulling his ear.

“Silence! Follow me.” Hogun opened the door, hand around Fandral's mouth.

“Oh my, the taste!” They walked, seeing an unusual sight.

Volstagg was wolfing down different colours of round dough, it seemed, as Loki stared at Fandral and Hogun in anger.

“What is this?” Fandral asked after Hogun let his hand slip.

“You-you told them?” His voice was shaky and clearly accusatory, looking incredibly upset.

Volstagg gasped, shaking his head wildly, his beard slapping left to right. “I never!”

“Then how did they know?” Loki's voice was slightly breathy as he started to hyperventilate.

“We followed Volstagg, Loki.” Hogun interrupted their argument, wanting to de-escalate the situation.

“It's true!” Fandral felt guilty seeing the clear betrayal on Loki's face.

“I would never risk being banned from your food, Loki! Please don't ruin my taste buds, I wish not to eat horse manure!” Volstagg whined, looking desperate.

Loki sighed, looking at them all intensely. “Then how did you find this place?”

Hogun and Fandral looked guiltily at each other before they looked down in shame.

“We assumed Volstagg was… Having an affair.” Hogun said as Volstaggs jaw dropped.

“How could you?”

“You disappear often and return looking pleased, refusing to say where you've been! And you smell delicious! I assumed it was perhaps a cook but they claimed you had not visited in some time. It was a natural conclusion!” Fandral defended as Loki took a bite of a pink ball of dough.

“Well no, I've been here helping Loki.” Volstagg huffed, annoyed that his honor had been attacked.

“It appears as though you are merely eating food.” Hogun pointed out.

Volstagg stood up, hastily swallowing another ball of green dough. “I'm his appointed taste tester! And poison tester!”

Fandral's eyes widened as he swerved to look at Loki, who looked slightly uncomfortable, cheeks rather pink. “You feed him poison?”

“I do not.” Loki clarified. “I cook. If that is a problem you may leave. Tell anyone and you gain the risk of castration.”

Fandral winced, looking rather nervous as Hogun nodded. “I, uh, could beat you with a sword!”

“I do not need a sword!” Loki waved his metal arm, reminding them all of his new strength.

“It's true, I've seen the way he kneads this dough.” Volstagg nodded, happily eating away.

“What is this?” Hogun looked down at the counter.

“It's a recipe from Midgard. Mochi. Ice cream wrapped in soft dough and powdered.” Loki shortly answered.

“Iced cream?” Fandral sat down on another stool.

“It's delectable, my friends! It is soft and sweet yet so cold!” Volstagg extended one, waiting for Loki to give a nod first.

Loki nodded and Fandral curiously bit into it, mimicking Volstagg and smiling when he tasted it.

“And you have been keeping this a secret?” Fandral gasped, chewing loudly with his mouth open as he basked in the flavor.

“I-It is not hard.” Loki muttered, offering a brown one to Hogun.

Hogun accepted, prodding it with his fingers before he took a bite.

Fandral brightened up with an idea. “You must prepare food for our adventures! Oh, can you imagine, friends? Fighting off evil creatures and then relaxing by a campfire eating this!”

“Well I doubt I'll be going on adventures any time soon considering I am an evil monster but i-i'll make some for you to take.” Loki chuckled, feeling petty and slightly proud of it as they looked to each other, unsure of what to even respond with.

Fandral leaned in slightly, leaning back out as Loki slightly stepped back. “W-well I'm sure you'll be back with us in no time. Or we can go on strike! Is strike the correct word?”

“Not exactly but I do see your point.” Loki coated his unfinished batch in dough, setting it off to the side.

The four of them ate happily as Volstagg ranted on and on about Loki's cooking and baking skills, Loki chiming in about how he should begin charging them.

Chapter 13

“I do hope we get a discount considering we are your friends.” Fandral joked, Loki's smile becoming a little stiff at that.

Hogun was quick to notice and change the direction of the conversation. “Well I say that we have only tried your food once and therefore only Volstagg should be charged until we have eaten enough to match what Volstagg has eaten.”

“I wasn't aware you could speak that much. But I do agree.” Fandral eagerly nodded.

“Oh, Loki your sleeve has powder on it.” Volstagg pointed. “Roll them up.”

Loki's smile slightly stiffened as he shook his head. “It matters not.”

Volstagg pondered on doing it for Loki but figured it was a bad idea to touch the boy without his consent.

Soon, the group disbanded and Loki pulled his sleeve up, looking at the metal arms. He hated them so much.

He walked back to his room, sitting on his bed. How was he supposed to live like this? Distracting himself from the ever looming threat?

A knock on the door disturbed him from his thoughts and he stood up, opening it only to be faced with his father. “A-ah, father.”

Odin stood there, looking concerned as he walked in without asking. “My son.”

“Y-yes f-father?” Loki watched Odin walk around silently before sitting on his bed, patting the space next to him. “Join me.”

Loki scuttled over, sitting beside him yet making sure there was enough room between them.

Odin sighed, looking at him with his one eye. “Where have you been?”

Loki's heart stopped. Was Odin really going to force him to speak of what had happened to him after he let go on the bi frost? He was not yet ready. Truthfully, he did not think he ever would be.

“It seems that not many are able to catch glimpses of you these days,” Odin carried on, relief washing through Loki. “Yet your room is empty. I am glad you are not hiding away yet still. We are concerned.”

“O-oh, I apologise father.” Loki began, only for Odin to keep talking.

“We…” he sighed, as if the words to come were difficult. “We fear that you had wished to distance yourself from us. Perhaps you could not forgive our transgressions."

Loki froze, unsure of how to respond. In the void, he had been conditioned to believe that his death was a relief of a burden to those in Asgard. That he would not be missed. When he had come back and had this disproven to him, he had been glad to see that he was wrong. A small part of him wondered if it was just a lie and that they were all secretly merely putting up with him, waiting for Loki to attempt suicide once again. But to hear that it was a fear of his family that he may disappear was strange. It made him feel necessary.

“I… I have stayed in the palace. Merely exploring.” Loki delicately said, not wanting to expose his current hobby.

“Exploring?” Odin raised a brow in disbelief. “My son, you have lived in the palace your whole life. What more could you be exploring?”

Odin's lighthearted tone soothed his heart. This was a conversation, not an interrogation.

“The palace is big, father.” Loki cryptically answered. “Have Hugin and Munin not told you?”

His fathers ravens were nowhere in sight today.
Odin shook his head. “If you do not wish to be found I shall respect that. Healer Eir appeared seconds from thrashing me when I suggested using them to keep an eye on you. Although I do wish you could at least leave a note.”

“Li-like the one you left on my forehead?” Loki chuckled before his heart dropped.

He had disrespected his father. Now Odin would surely snap, disowning him and sending him back off the bi frost. He panicked, only for Odin to chuckle. Was it because he was excited to put Loki in his place?

Odin reached to pat his back and Loki immediately threw himself back, eyes shut and waiting for his punishment. He should not have done that. Evading a punishment was childish and foolish.

“Loki, please do not think I plan to cause you harm.” Odin's voice was sombre as Loki hesitantly opened his eyes, only to see Odin still there.

Suddenly the door burst open and Volstagg ran in with a smile, almost falling over when he saw Odin. “Loki- oh!”

He straightened himself up, bowing. “My king, I apologize. I was not aware that… that you, uh… Loki?”

Loki was still curled up, his heart racing for the suddenness of Volstaggs entry.

“Are… Should I leave?”

Odin shook his head, curious as to what Volstagg was doing here. “Nay, why are you here?”

Volstagg straightened up. “O-oh, well Fandral discovered a secluded part in the forest full of strange plants. We thought Loki would want to join. I-it is near a small stream, you see, and there are a few animals around but it is safe.”

Loki, who had slightly calmed down, nodded. If he declined, his father would continue talking to him and he did not think he wanted to be near Odin currently.

“Wh-when?” Loki stuttered, standing up.

“Why, now! The sun is bright and you have hours to collect any plants you need for your… things.” Volstagg hopefully smiled, clearly happy Loki was willing to join.

“Loki, are you sure you will remember what plants are harmless? You do have a lot on your mind.” Odin carefully asked, not wanting to give Volstagg any information as he was sure the two were not close enough.

He always thought that Thor was the one to drag Loki out. Perhaps Volstagg had always been close to Loki or they had formed a friendship. Odin felt immensely relieved at that. It would be good for Loki to interact with others more.

“I-I can remember.” Loki bristled, unhappy his intelligence had been questioned.

“Hogun has other matters to attend to. Fandral is waiting for us, though.” Volstagg smiled.

“Ah, remind Thor to be careful not to disturb the wildlife, will you?” Odin stood, ready to leave.

Volstagg awkwardly nodded, waiting for Odin to leave and excuse himself before turning to Loki. “Ah, you see.. I have heard that you and Thor are not on the best of terms and I haven't invited him.”

Loki's pride beamed at what that meant. Fandral and Volstagg were willing to put up with him despite Thor not being present? They weren't even getting anything out of it.

“That's fine. Shall I alert the kitchen staff to prepare anything?”

Volstagg excitedly shook his head. “I was hoping you could create something. I understand you have already created much today but if it isn't too much trouble?...”

Loki hoped they weren't only trying to create an excuse so they could get his cooking but nodded, wanting to be proven wrong. “I don't understand, though. What do you and Fandral gain out of this?”

Volstagg tilted his head in confusion. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You suddenly asked to spend time with me. I will gain possible interesting plants. What do the two of you gain out of this except my food?” Loki's voice held an accusatory tone that made Volstagg frown.

“Well you would like it. I guess that is what we are gaining. We are trying to help you feel better!” Volstagg hadn't noticed how Loki froze, feeling ill at the fact that they were trying to be kind. “I understand in the past we have brushed you aside but clearly that was foolish. You tell me interesting stories in the kitchen. You spend hours cooking for me. In the past, you have used the very seidr we have commended to save our lives. In your… Absence… I realised how foolish I was.”

“So when I was gone all you could think about was how I benefited you? Well I am deeply sorry that you-” Loki's bitter tone was cut off by Volstagg interrupting him, shaking his head.

“I realised I am a fool. I have been awful. And I want to change that. Had we not abandoned you to visit Thor in midgard you would not have suffered. I cannot imagine how I would feel if one of my children were treated the way I have treated you.” Volstagg sighed, looking suddenly depressed. “May I tell you something, Loki?”

Loki nodded, unsure of what he was feeling. Was Volstagg lying? Surely he'd know.

“My youngest child is…Reclusive. And the other children her age have not been so kind.” Volstagg looked almost on the verge of tears. “As a father, I feel as if I have failed. That is my child. Seeing her cry into her mother's arms because the other children call her strange and will not play with her is…Excruciating. She demands to know what makes her so repulsive in their eyes and I have no answers.”

“I… I wasn't aware.” Loki felt stupid as he said that.

Volstagg sighed, looking up with tearful eyes. “Would you have a word with her? I think it would help. I understand I am asking for a lot but she claims I cannot understand as I have companions.”

Loki awkwardly nodded. “I shall see.”

Volstagg immediately brightened, wiping his tears. “Thank you, Loki. And do not think I ask this as compensation for my time spent with you. I enjoy your presence.”

Chapter 14

As Loki headed to the abandoned kitchen, Volstagg following like a little puppy, he was thinking over this conversation. There were people that liked him. They wanted to spend time with him. They could accept his oddness. That was a strange feeling. It was all he ever wanted. So why didn't he feel complete?

He sighed, heading to the abandoned kitchen where Fandral was playing with the spoons.

“Ah, you're coming!” Fandral smiled brightly, putting the spoons down.

“What should I make?” Loki asked, getting behind the kitchen counter.

“Well, we've all eaten so any light snacks would be appreciated.” Fandral shut the drawer, plopping himself on the stool.

Loki nodded, preparing some sandwiches.

“Could you fetch the sword mould out of the bottom drawer? I have an idea.” Loki smirked, grabbing the haribos he had bought last time he went to midgard.

“Sword mould? What do you plan to do with that?” Volstagg asked, grabbing it and placing it on the counter.

“I have been experimenting with moulds. Making food in interesting shapes has been quite entertaining.” Loki chuckled, separating the haribos by colour as Fandral slapped Volstaggs hand, which was about to steal a sandwich.

“Do not tell me you plan to swap the swords we carry for edible ones?” Fandral chuckled, watching Loki wink.

“Not today. Today, I am creating something far less interesting.”

The duo chatted as Loki melted the haribos, pouring them into the sword moulds before retrieving Nerds.

“Oh, what are those?”

“Candy. From Midgard. They have an abundance of different types. I cannot believe I once thought grapes counted as candy.” Loki chuckled, coating the melted haribos in them.

In no time, Loki had three edible swords. They had hardened and he wrapped them in cloth, passing two to them.

“They're hard now. Have them when we arrive.” Loki watched them chuckle, mock fighting.

In no time, the three were packed. The sun was still shining as they walked to the stables, only to meet Thor and Sif nearby, clearly just finishing off an argument.

Loki tensed visibly as the duo spotted them. He really did not want to converse with them, having gone out of his way to not do so recently.

“What are you three doing? With… clothed swords?” Sif asked, ignoring Loki totally.

“Ah, we… we're going out.” Volstagg awkwardly answered as Loki pretended to be interested in the dirt beneath his feet.

“Ah, well it's good we're all here now.” Thor obliviously smiled, looking at Loki questioningly as if confused that Fandral and Volstagg had lured him out instead of Thor.

Loki internally groaned as he, Fandral and Volstagg all shared a look.

“Well…” Fandral began, only for Sif to wrench the clothed sword and open it up, staring in confusion as the edible sword.

“What is this?” She asked as Thor looked over.

“It's… it's nothing.” Fandral said, looking at Loki helplessly.

“What a strange sword. And it has no blade.” Thor curiously looked at it.

“Loki, change it back.” Sif huffed, finally looking Loki in the eye.

“You do not know he did that.” Volstagg butted in, taking the sword back and wrapping it up before passing it to Fandral.

“You do not need to cover for him merely because…” Sif trailed off once she noticed everyone else excluding Loki was staring at her angrily.

“It's an edible sword. Not meant for combat.” Loki stiffly answered, walking past her to the stables.

“You do not have to come, Sif, if you wish.” Fandral mentioned, joining Loki.

The other two followed as Sif stood there. What had just happened? Had Loki bewitched them all to be hostile towards her? Was he jealous that she was undamaged? Sif would have to join them to observe if her worries were true.

The ride to the spot was mildly tense with Sif staring hard at Loki, who stayed slightly behind them all. They finally arrived and Sif and Thor stood there awkwardly once everyone had dismounted, Fandral and Volstagg settling down by the stream under a tree.

“What are we doing?” Sif asked.

“Loki is collecting plants. We're here to just relax.” Fandral answered, taking a bite of his edible sword.

“Where's the adventure in that?” She scoffed.

Fandral attempted to reply but his mouth was so full he could not.

Volstagg turned over to where Sif stood. “We did not say that we were on an adventure. We merely said we were going out. Again, you do not have to be here.”

Sif's cheeks turned slightly pink as Thor sat beside them, Loki nearby with an empty satchel collecting plants.

“What does it taste like?” Thor asked Fandral, who extended the edible sword.

Thor bit into it, eyes lighting up as he chewed. “Who crafted this?”

Fandral winked, chuckling as Volstagg devoured his own.

“Loki, do we have mochi?” he called.

“Mochi?” Sif questioningly looked between them as Loki nodded.

“Check the bag. There should be twenty. I did not cast a spell to preserve the ice cream so it is actively melting.” Loki called back as Volstagg nodded.

Sif and Thor watched curiously as Fandral and Volstagg devoured the snacks, Loki eventually joining himself.

They both could not understand what was going on. It was as if they were outsiders as Loki began rambling on about a midgardian animal called an Elephant. The conversation seemed pointless yet fandral and Volstagg listened with rapt attention. As if the other two were not even there!

“-and they are incredibly emotional animals, too. They view midgardians as adorable. I imagine since we look similar to midgardians we'd appear adorable, too!” Loki chuckled, eating another of the strange dough balls.

“Well, you are as weak as one, Loki.” Sif chuckled, hoping to bring some normalcy to the group only for all faces to blankly turn towards her.

“Loki could rip our heads off with one hand, Sif.” Fandral chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

“Well that was before-” she stopped talking at the warning look Thor gave her.

“Thor, try one. They've melted mostly but they're still good.” Loki extended one, trying to remain civil and change the subject.

Thor took it, happy Loki wasn't ignoring him anymore. He ate it, smiling. “What flavour is this? I have never tried such a thing.”

“That is passion fruit.” Loki explained.

“It seems that the chefs have been holding out on us!” Thor smiled, about to pop it into his mouth only for Sif to shove herself in, sitting down and accidentally knocking it out of his hand onto the grass.