Chapter Text
Earth prepares for the next invasion - warned of Thanos' impending arrival. Cap is trying to be in charge - stops generals/ admirals/ ambassadors in the hall when he crosses paths with them, tries to tell them the 'best' way to do whatever. Mostly casting himself in the starring role and them as mere gofers to provide his gear.
General A: "Thank you for your input Captain. I will ask one of out analysts to take a look at the logistics."
???
"Even with the help of the Sorcerors of Kamar Taj, troop movements take time and those troops still need food to eat. Those portals don't open wide enough to move an entire battleship, after all."
???
"Modern battleships have the best portable surface to air weaponry, Captain. Given that we are expecting spaceships, we are expecting them to play a significant role, so of course the logistics of their dispersal is something we must take into consideration. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to. I'd invite you along, but I suspect discussions of how much corn Kansas can grow, harvest and process in the next six months would be every bit as boring for you as I expect it to be for me."
General A gives strained little smile and walks off. Cap doesn't follow.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once out of hearing, General A calls Dr. Strange. "I don't know if what I just said is accurate, but I'd suggest you pretend it has been up until a couple months from now."
"Regarding?"
"Rogers was being a pain again, and I told him your portals can't move an entire battleship."
"I see. Thank you for the heads up. I will pass the word along that anything bigger than a jeep is currently beyond the ability of all but the more adept. And even we cannot easily handle large tanks or entire platoons of men at once. For the record, an entire battleship would be a tremendous strain, even for me, fully rested on a good day. I would not recommend counting on us to get one into position."
A couple days later, Admiral B stops General A with a glare. "What the hell? You agreed with Rogers about this asinine idea??!?"
"Of course not. I told him I'd have an analyst look at the logistics."
"Why the hell would you legitimize that fool?"
"He wants to believe he's the ultimate authority on everything. It's the fastest way to get him to shut up and leave: imply that you're taking him seriously and then apologize for not inviting him to a meeting on some incredibly dull topic that falls under 'bean counting' - securing fuel supplies for planes, or suchlike that has nothing to do with rushing fist first into battle."
"...it's a management strategy, then?"
"Yup."
"I like it. He raises a fuss and causes innumerable delays with posturing and petty arguments anyway."
"And neither you nor I nor anyone else who's actually in charge of getting things done has either the time or energy to deal with it. Exactly."
Major General Q: "I see, Mr - I mean Cpt Rogers. I will coordinate with General A for the details."
Grand Admiral G: "I will take your points under consideration. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I'm sure you have better places to be and I have *sigh* yet another meeting with the bean counters."
The war preparations continue, Rogers is convinced he's been the grand orchestrator of it all.
The Black Widow tried once to tell him otherwise, and got hunted down by some MPs, thrown in the brig and thoroughly convinced that there was no benefit to her for exposing Rogers' hypocrisy to him, with a gun to the head in the end. "You see, Ms. Romanova, you are not a super soldier. A single bullet would take you out of our hair quite easily."
"Cap would look for me."
"Perhaps. But you are so well known to slip off to gather intel, that it would be no problem at all to let slip that 'last I heard, she was going to Berlin' ... or Budapest, or Rio, or Tokyo. It would be a lovely little distraction for him, and maybe he'd be so busy chasing red herrings that he'd stay out of our hair, too."
(Alt: this convo is between two of her new 'keepers' - whether to disappear her later and the repercussions of doing so.)
Widow gets Wilson and Wanda in line. "There's no need to distract Steve with plans he won't even be directly involved in. Those are plans for Asian defence forces. Strange (sic) can portal the Avengers to wherever the big boss is, but the rest of the armies and navies need plans, too, since in a planet-wide invasion some of them will have to fight without our direct involvement."