Chapter Text
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Taehyung asked Jungkook while making sure his documents and all he needed were inside his wallet.
Jungkook looked at him right away. “Of course, it is!” He paused. “Tae. I need a break and it’s my brother’s engagement party. The label was ok when I said I needed one or two weeks by myself. I just finished thirty concerts, I really need a break.” He shifted his gaze back to the backpack on the couch, the one where he was putting his stuff.
“Your brother doesn’t talk to you, Kookie.” Taehyung felt the need to remind the younger one who bit his lower lip.
“He’s my brother. He won’t hold this grudge forever.” He paused and a melancholy bloomed in his voice. “It’s been four years, maybe he’s ready to talk to me. I don’t know. Anyway, I miss my mom and my friends. I want to go there.” Jungkook smiled weakly. “Besides, Seokjin invited me. I’m sure Namjoon knows. I should go.
“Fine by me, if you know what you’re doing.”
“I do, Tae. I really do. I appreciate your concern, though.”
“I’m basically your soulmate, of course, I’m concerned.” Taehyung, then, pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Just so you know, the company already posted that you’re taking some private time for yourself and they told your fans to keep their distance if they get to see you, to respect your privacy.”
“Ok, thank you.” He zipped up the bag. “Did you get everything?”
“Can’t we go by car?”
“I thought you liked Harley.”
“First, it’s stupid how you refer to your motorbike as a living person. Second, the name Harley for a Harley Davidson is not original at all. Three, I do like it and I feel safe when I ride with you but we’re talking about spending, possibly, two weeks there and all we can take is a big backpack.”
“We can buy what we need there… and also there are lots of clothes that I’ve left behind at my mother’s house. We can wear them if needed.”
Taehyung sighed and looked at the clock on the wall.
“It’s almost 5 am. Do you have everything? I’m thinking about leaving in ten minutes.”
“I do. I packed all my stuff and stuff you forgot to put in your bag. It’s ok, though. That’s why you pay me-“
“You’re not coming with me because you’re my employee. I want you there as a friend!” Jungkook's scowl was displayed and he rolled his eyes. “You’re taking days off as well! If you feel like doing anything else these days, you can always tell me and go after what you want.”
“I know. I’m just kidding. I’m going because you asked me to be there, as a friend. And because I think we’ll have fun. And because you need me there. Taking care of you is just natural. You’re my best friend, my dongsaeng after all.”
That made Jungkook smile. That would always make him smile. He was far from home and he did feel lonely a lot so knowing that he had someone like Taehyung by his side was comforting and made things a bit easier.
“You’ll have fun. My friends are great and Jin knows how to make a party.”
“Did you tell your father that you’re going to Busan?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.”
“You should, Jungkook. He’s not your mother’s, or your brother’s, biggest fan.”
“I’m 25, Taehyung.”
“I know but he deals with part of your public figure. He needs to know from you. I guess he already saw it on social media but you should give him a heads up.”
“I’ll leave a message to him.”
“Great. Do it now. I’m going to get some snacks for us to eat on the road.”
“The ride is not that long!” He exclaimed.
“But we might get hungry!” And just like that, Taehyung went back to the kitchen. He probably wouldn’t get any snacks. He was clearly just giving Jungkook some privacy.
Jungkook sighed and picked up his phone. He sent an audio message to his father. “Hi, dad. Uhm, you might have seen it on the official account, or maybe in the news. I’ll take some weeks to myself. Usually, I’d be at home but I’ll actually go to Busan to see Mom and Joon. He’s getting engaged, you know? I guess he wouldn’t want to hear from you but I think it would be nice if you could get him a gift to congratulate him. Well, yeah, that’s it. See you when I come back.”
And that was it.
He ended the audio message nervously, biting his lower lip.
Jungkook’s relationship with his dad was weird and complicated and it felt like a transaction, a work deal.
Jongho, his dad, divorced his mother when Jungkook was 9 years old. It was terrible because he pretty much left them behind. He didn’t send any money to help with the expenses and his mother had to do it all by herself.
For the longest time, Jungkook hated him so much. He saw his mother crying way too many times for him to not hate him. She worried about money a lot and they struggled financially until Jungkook and Namjoon could start working.
When Jungkook turned 16, his father went back to Busan - searching for them as if nothing ever happened. Jungkook and Namjoon were rude and made sure to let him know they didn’t want him there… But he managed to stay at a hotel and force some visits. It was always awkward and terrible but their mother said that they shouldn’t hold grudges, that he was their father even though he was not a good person.
Namjoon tried hard to make a relationship bloom but as soon as their father found out that Namjoon was part of the LGBT community, identifying as gay at the time, he flipped out. He said terrible things to him and blamed their mother for being too soft on them. It went terribly wrong and Jungkook and Namjoon kicked him out of the house making sure to yell that he was not welcome anymore.
Never again.
Namjoon was crushed and heartbroken.
He didn’t show how much that affected him but in the middle of the night, Jungkook heard him crying. They shared a bedroom and the room was really small so he couldn’t prevent Jungkook from hearing it. Jungkook hugged him until he could fall asleep and, once again, he thought about how Namjoon deserved a better life and how Jungkook would easily move mountains to not see his brother like that again.
But Jungkook was never too good at keeping his promises.
After a few years, they were still struggling a lot. His mother paid for his studies and when he finally graduated, he simply didn’t find any job related to it. Jungkook was so disappointed and so sad - and so worried. His mother was trying her best to give them a good life and Namjoon was working twice as hard just so they could have something to eat.
It wasn’t fair.
There was a lot of crying involved, a lot of people involved as well, but Jungkook decided to give his dad a call and ask for a job in Seoul.
And he managed to get one at the label he was now signed off as a singer. At that time, he worked at the label's coffee station until someone found out he could sing and dance - he sneaked off to the practice room when it was empty (The lead choreographer liked him a lot and gave him the key so he could use it) The thing was, Jungkook spent a lot of time there - not really wanting to be at home with his dad for longer than necessary.
Things just happened and soon enough he was already training alongside the other guys. He was already considered a bit old for it but he was so talented that people didn’t really care about it. He debuted when he was 22 with a debut song that simply was catchy enough for people to want to get to know him more and more.
Jungkook wasn’t able to pinpoint when everything changed and how fast it did but, now, at 25, he was one of the top singers in the country and his solo albums were acclaimed whenever and wherever.
Jungkook did tours and had lots of fans. Tabloids and paparazzi followed him quite a lot, almost every day - at least when he was in Seoul.
His dad still worked at the label, he was in the finance department and kept it that way, especially because Jungkook didn’t give him any money whatsoever. He sent a lot of it to his mother back in Busan though.
His father knew he couldn’t demand a lot, especially because the first thing Jungkook did with his money was buy an apartment so he would no longer live with his dad.
He wanted to keep things simple, easy and formal.
That was it.
He still called him to tell his whereabouts, like now.
“Ok, are we ready to go?”
“Yeah, I think so. No stops until we’re there, ok?”
“Ok. I know that. I just asked you to stop once and I don’t know what you wanted me to do. Would it have been better if I had puked on your back?” Taehyung raised his hands in defense. Jungkook chuckled. “Actually, we could stop so I can ride it for-“
“No.”
Taehyung rolled his eyes. “I know how to ride a motorcycle, Jungkook-ah.”
“Then go buy your own.”
“Rude. I’m not a multimillionaire idol.” He paused. “But I will buy one, one day, and I’ll call it Davidson to be just as lame as you.” His best friend finished and looked at his phone while Jungkook laughed out loud.
“You’re dumb. Grab your helmet, let’s go.”
— x —
“Why do you hate me so much?” Yoongi asked while helping Namjoon put a bow on the gift they would distribute at the engagement party.
It was so silly. A mini swan, made of glass.
Cute, but silly.
“What did I do now?” Namjoon looked up at him, after finishing one more bow.
“I’m supposed to be only the best man on your wedding day and I’m working for the engagement party. On a Sunday morning! Wrapping gooses-“
“Swans.” Namjoon corrected. “And we haven't chosen the best men yet. You know that.”
“Fuck it. Wrapping swans with a tiny bow on a Sunday morning.”
“Well, you are my best friend. Deal with it.”
“You must hate me so bad.” Yoongi repeated and Namjoon chuckled. “How many people did you invite?”
“I wanted something simple but Jin went all out. I think maybe there’ll be more than a hundred people at the party.” He said. “Family and friends.”
“It’ll be a nice party, I’m sure.”
“I just wish it was a bit more private but that’s fine. Jin wants a big party and it’ll be great.”
“Do you want a big party?”
“I want what Jin wants. I’m happy if he’s happy with it. I’m sure it will be great. I’m excited about it too. I never imagined myself hosting a big party because I struggled to imagine that I would ever get married to someone.” And he was being totally honest; Yoongi could see that.
“You and Seokjin are made for each other.” Yoongi stated and Namjoon smiled. “It will be great.”
“Thanks for helping, hyung.” Namjoon said in a calm voice and Yoongi faked an annoying sound. “Ugh, don’t thank me yet. I might run away and leave these hundreds of ducks-“
“Swans!”
“As I was saying, I might run away and leave you to do this all by yourself.”
“Yes. Right.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
Yoongi was kind, generous, liked to take care of others and loved being able to help his friends.
He liked being useful, liked being active and doing stuff.
That’s probably why he turned out to be great at doing stuff at home. He was a great handyman and was able to do repairs all over the place. He also still worked with music, producing and writing songs for three labels from Seoul. It was rewarding and he would never stop doing music, that much he knew already.
He had opportunities to go to Seoul and start over from there, to be there, but Busan was his home and he felt comfortable - and loved - there.
He lived alone and sent money monthly to his family so he could help with the expenses. He was doing fine on his own and his friends who lived close by helped him a lot daily.
He had a goal of opening a business, where he could put a producing team to work. It was a distant dream but that was what he was aiming for.
He’s been friends with Namjoon and Jin ever since the first day they met and they were really close.
But even being that close didn’t make it any less awkward when he asked: “Uhm, Joon. Can I ask you something?” His voice was a little low and he could not look straight at Namjoon’s eyes or else he would lose the courage to do it.
“Yes, sure. Always.” His friend was too preoccupied with making a tiny purple bow to really notice that Yoongi was kind of shy now.
“Will Jungkook come?”
Silence.
Yoongi expected Namjoon to look at him and get angry about it but he simply showed his annoyance by tightening his jaw while still working with his hands. “No.”
That was it.
Final.
“Oh. I guess I thought he would come because, well, he is your brother and you’re about to announce that you and Seokjin are going to get married to hundreds of people and give them glass pigeons on the way out.” He tried to lighten up the mood and to disguise his curiosity. This time, Namjoon didn’t correct him when he tried to twist the bird’s name.
“He’s not coming. I didn’t invite him.” He said. “Why are you asking? Did you want him to come?” This time, Yoongi was met with Namjoon’s really wide eyes. Surprise all over it. “Oh, hyung-“ and Yoongi could hear pity on those words.
Too bad.
Too bad the answers to those questions were not that easy.
“I didn’t. I just wanted to know. Curiosity.”
Yes, that was it.
And maybe the fact that Jungkook used to be his boyfriend.
Actually, he’s been wanting to know if the man was coming or not because he wanted to be mentally prepared. He should be, at least.
They didn’t end on good terms and during his last visit, they had this revival moment and they ended up in bed once again - a terrible idea.
“I just wanted to know, that’s all.” He reinforced it when Namjoon’s eyes kept staring at him.
“I thought you were over it. It’s been years.”
“I am. But it’s never nice to meet your ex, you know that. I just wanted to know, really, I’m not hung up on it or anything.”
“Ok.” The younger one let out and shifted his gaze back to the swan in his hands. “If you say so.”
Jungkook’s story with Yoongi was… Complicated.
They had a cute start and it was perfect until it wasn’t. Until insecurities and changes got in the way.
Yoongi shook his head; he would not drown in those memories again.
He couldn’t.
He had these things to wrap.
“Stupid swans.”
— x —
“So, Yoongi, I brought you here because I have something to confess and Namjoon can’t know.” Seokjin started like that and Yoongi could feel his own legs shaking.
Jin asked him to come get some food, saying that he needed to talk about what to wear, and they left Namjoon to finish with the swans. Of course, he thought it was weird because usually Seokjin would never talk about clothes with Yoongi but he said over and over again that he needed Yoongi to help him.
“Oh, God. What did you do?”
“It’s nothing crazy.”
“What did you do?”
“But it is kind of messy.”
“Hyung-“
“And you also can be a bit angry.”
“What did you do?”
“I, uhm, Jungkook is coming.” He paused. “To the party.”
Yoongi blinked a few times and tried to digest the information. He was sure Jungkook wouldn’t come at all because Namjoon was very adamant about what he said and he was even a bit annoyed by the fact that Yoongi was asking so… “Why? Did you invite him?”
Seokjin only nodded faintly. “I mean, yes. I did. I miss the kid and it will be good for him to spend some time with us. He’s been working so hard-“
“Hyung…”
“And Namjoon’s mom also asked me to invite him. She said Namjoon wouldn’t and that I should make sure to invite him. She wanted them together that day and I understood her. As a parent, you want your children together, no matter what. She misses him. And, come on, I miss him too.” He paused. “I bet everyone does. We don’t even know if he’s coming. He is an idol and has a lot to do but the invitation is out.”
“Namjoon is not going to like this.”
“Or maybe he will. What if they decide to talk?”
“I mentioned his name earlier and Namjoon got all weird. I don’t think he’s ready to talk, or if he’ll ever be.” Seokjin sighed after hearing that.
It was so exhausting dealing with the brothers’ relationship. Seokjin always tried to make them talk because he knew that both of them were not completely happy and he wanted to help the way he could.
“Namjoon is stubborn. I understand why he’s angry and disappointed at Jungkook but he could hear what his brother has to say.” He sounded defeated. “Well, it’s done. My mother-in-law also asked me to do it. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no.”
“Huh. Are you going to tell him?”
“Only if Jungkook says that he’s coming; otherwise I think there’s no need to.” Yoongi agreed on that. “And what about you?”
“Me?” Yoongi asked, knowing damn well what Jin wanted to say. “I’m fine.”
“Really?”
“It’s been years, hyung.” He adjusted his posture. “I don’t know if we’re going to talk at all but, well, it’s been years. I’m over it. I swear.” He repeated what he told Namjoon; not really knowing if it was a defense mechanism or the truth.
“Mhm.”
“I don’t care if he’s back or not. He’s important to all of us and we, him and I, we have a past, I know… But I’m more worried about Namjoon.” That was a lie. Not completely, though. Because he, indeed, was worried about Namjoon but he was also really worried about having to see him again.
It was so stupid. Yoongi had known Jungkook since they were teens and, now, he can’t really manage the idea of looking at him without worrying about the whiplash that might come with it.
Seokjin only stared at him.
His friends knew him way too much.
“Of course, it won’t be easy. Our break up…”
“The second one.” Jin pointed it out.
“Yeah, the final one… It was hard on me, on us.”
Jungkook left to work and it was bad enough but when he came back to visit, they fooled themselves and believed they could be together again. The thing was: they couldn’t.
The first time they talked about ending stuff hurt a lot but the second time, well, it was way too cruel on both of them.
“It was not meant to be. I’m happy that he’s happy in Seoul.”
“You haven’t talked to him since that night?”
“No.”
“I’m sure that if he decides to come, everything will be fine. It’s been a while since the last time he showed up. We’re all more mature and healed a lot from our past.”
“Are we?” Yoongi chuckled. He was not sure.
“I surely hope so.” Seokjin sighed. “Now, come with me. I was going to buy some food. There’s no way I’m cooking in that apartment. It’s messy as hell.”
“Do you guys really think I have nothing to do all day?”
“Do you?”
“I do!” He nudged Seokjin’s shoulder. “But I finished the songs early so I could help with the party.” He paused. “I have some repairs to do at that burger place you like. They’re paying good money for me to fix the door but I told them I’d only be able to do it next week.”
“When we were younger, I’d never imagined that you would get great at fixing stuff.”
“We do learn a thing or two when we don’t have money to buy new stuff, hyung. You probably don’t know how that feels.” Yoongi teased.
“Yah! I do know! I don’t waste money just because I have it.” Jin mumbled the end of the sentence and Yoongi smiled at him. “I’ll make sure to hire you when I need something.” He added.
“I’m sure you won’t need me. Namjoon is pretty good at fixing stuff as well which is really ironic since he’s the one always breaking them in the first place.”
That took a laugh out of Jin’s mouth. “You’re impossible, Yoongi. And I noticed you changed the subject before but you know I’m here for you, right?”
“Yes, hyung, thanks.”
“And I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but Jungkook is hotter than before-“
“Hyung!” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “I know! I have social media and he’s all over the place.” He whined. “But, please, let’s not talk about this anymore.”
“Ok, ok. Let’s go. Namjoon might be hungry. I know I am.”
“I really hope they have some whiskey.”
“It’s lunchtime!”
“Whatever.”
— x —
It took them some hours but Jungkook and Taehyung made it to Busan without stopping, not even once.
It was better that way; Jungkook didn’t want to risk meeting people on the way and being followed. Of course, his fans knew he was from Busan and they would wonder if Jungkook went home or abroad but he would do anything to keep his privacy and try to be a little more discreet.
The last time he went on vacation, he went to Paris with Taehyung and people followed him even in the few clubs they went to. He hated it so much. He loved meeting his fans and loved the attention, the support and all the love he received back but he was just 25 and, sometimes, in his vacation days especially, he’d like to spend being ordinary. He was very happy with his life and very thankful but he couldn’t help but wonder how different it would be if he was anonymous again.
The lack of privacy always made him mad and frustrated.
He couldn’t go to nightclubs; couldn’t really go anywhere because people were always watching: sasaengs, paparazzi… There were days when he found people literally waiting for him outside his apartment.
It was also scary as well.
That’s exactly the reason why he usually would end up on chill nights (with or without alcohol) in some friends’ houses or even being the host of a get-together.
And dating was not really something Jungkook would do. The media, the fans, the company and his dad didn’t know he was bisexual. He made sure to hide it because being openly LGBTQIA+ in Korea was not that easy. He didn’t want to be labeled - or targeted. He just wanted to live freely - as free as he could.
In front of his friends, he could be as free as he wanted. He dated only two guys after going to Seoul, after his break up was official.
It’s been a year since he last kissed anyone.
But he endured it because he was living the dream, being able to do something he truly enjoyed and to give his family the comfortable life they deserved.
But some days were harder than others. Jungkook liked touching and skinship - with people he trusted - so you could say that it was hard for him to not be able to do it as much as he wanted.
There was a time when he and Taehyung were too drunk and ended up making out on Jungkook’s bed. They were both feeling lonely - and needy.
But it was just that time; Taehyung was already his best friend at the time and Jungkook trusted him with his life. They talked and they were fine.
Nothing ever happened again and they lightly flirted every now and then because they were comfortable doing it, but it was very clear that they didn’t see each other as more than a friend.
“Are we staying here or going to a hotel later?” Taehyung asked after putting down the helmet he was wearing.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if there are guests here already. We’ll have to see.”
“Alright-“
“Jungkookie!” A voice resonated, coming from the door of the green house. It was his mother.
Jungkook held back the urge to cry right then and there and rushed to get close to her. She opened the house gate and hugged him as soon as she could.
Jungkook was smiling widely and tightened the hug.
“Hello, mom. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. It’s been more than a year… I haven’t seen you in so long!” She put some distance between them and cupped his face. “My beautiful boy. I only get to see you on TV and screens. I missed you. I love you.” And then she placed kisses all over his face. “You have to come home more often!” She added and he smiled.
“I’ll try. I’m just… Busy.”
“I know that. And I’m so proud of you but I worry a lot, you know? You’re a grown up but I’m always worried.”
“You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”
“Oh! I didn’t see you there!” His mother took a step back as soon as she saw Taehyung standing near the motorcycle. He bowed and greeted her:
“Hello, Mrs. Jeon. It’s great to finally meet you. I’m Taehyung. Kim Taehyung.” He bowed again.
She greeted him back and looked at Jungkook. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend-“
“Oh, no! No!” They both chuckled. “He’s not my boyfriend. Tae is my best friend and he also works with me… He’s kind of my assistant?” He tried to explain. “But he’s not working right now. I invited him, I hope it’s not a problem.”
“I don’t want to intrude. I came but I can busy myself with other stuff. I’m sure Busan has lots of things to do.” Taehyung started.
“Nonsense.” She said. “It’s great that you came with him. I’m happy to see that Jungkook has a friend in that company, in that city.” She smiled. “Come inside, I made a lot of food and it’s almost lunchtime.
— x —
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” His mother asked while washing the dishes. Jungkook was helping her dry them while Taehyung went outside to take a phone call from work - which Jungkook greatly disapproved of since they were taking days off -.
“I assumed you knew? I mean, I was invited and Jin-hyung asked me to be here a few days earlier… I didn’t think I needed to- Is there a problem?” He asked, a bit confused. His mother never asked him to let her know when he would show up.
Ok, It’s been a while since the last time he went there.
“Of course, not! I just wished you would’ve told me. I didn’t organize the rooms and I didn’t make your favorite today-“
“Mom, everything's perfect. Don’t worry about it, really.”
“You can stay in your room and Taehyung-ssi can use the guest one.” She paused. “Unless…” She looked at Jungkook, inquisitive. Jungkook rolled his eyes; he knew it was coming.
“Mom, we’re not dating. I promise you. We’re just friends.” He assured her for the nth time already. “I don’t really have time for dating, nor do I want to. I told you that.”
“You’re young. You’re allowed to fall in love.”
“Been there, done that. Didn’t end well.”
“Jungkook-“
“Mom, please, don’t. Things are going great for me at work and I’m just focusing on that, huh?” He paused and thought about a way to change the topic of their conversation. “And you should stop calling it my room. I never used it here-“ And it was true, Jungkook didn’t live in this house. He bought it not long ago and Namjoon and his mom were the only ones who actually lived here.
“It’s our house, baby, you’ll always have your room. Your own space. If someday you decide to leave it all behind, you have a home, and a room, to go to.”
Jungkook placed a tiny kiss on her forehead. “I know what you mean, thanks, but my life is in Seoul now. I really love what I do, mom. I’m good at it and people seem to like it.”
“But you have to be careful and you can’t fully be yourself, huh?” She sounded worried. “I’m really proud of you, you know that. I’m not saying that your lifestyle is bad. You know what you’re doing, but it worries me that you have to keep this mask on for so long.”
“I’m fine. Really.”
“Promise me you’ll tell me if things get hard. I’m always here, you know that, right?”
“Of course, I do. Thank you, mom. Really” Jungkook tried to stop that talk but his mother kept going.
“I’ll always worry. Namjoon lives close by and is older than you and I still worry about him too.” That made Jungkook laugh. “And, uhm, speaking of him. Does he know you’re here?”
“Not yet. I came straight here, remember? I might text him and Jin-hyung to meet-“ He mumbled those words. It was still surreal for him that, after so long, Namjoon was willing to talk and invite him to his engagement party. Jungkook interrupted his sentence when he saw his mother a little unsure. “What?”
“I’m 90% sure your brother doesn’t know that Jin invited you.”
“What?” He asked in a low tone of voice. “What are you saying?”
“Listen, Jinnie wanted to invite you and he was sure Namjoon would not agree, so he asked me what to do and I also told him that I wanted to see you… He decided to invite you without telling Joonie. I know that because we were together in this same kitchen when he did it.”
“Mom!”
Jungkook felt like someone had just punched him.
When he received the invitation, he thought it was weird and he talked exclusively with Seokjin but he believed that his brother knew about it.
Better than that, he thought Namjoon was ready to talk to him again.
Knowing that he was not aware of it and that he probably still hates Jungkook made his stomach churn.
“I can’t believe this.” He said after putting the dishcloth over his shoulder. “Why would you do that? I shouldn’t be here-“
“Yes, you should!” His mother argued. Jungkook shook his head. “I missed you and I’m sure your brother misses you too!”
“Mom, he hates me!” Jungkook tried to remain calm but his voice was loud enough to make himself flinch at it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just- I can’t stay, mom. How am I supposed to show up to their engagement party? I can’t.”
The look of complete sadness that took over her face made Jungkook’s heart clench.
His relationship with his brother was hard and already broken but it wasn’t always like that.
When their father left them, Namjoon, at age 11, tried to be the man of the house . Their mom had to work a lot and Namjoon had to grow up way too fast so Jungkook could still enjoy his childhood.
The younger one had great memories of their time together as children and even when they were teens, they had each other's backs in any situation.
Namjoon taught Jungkook everything and sacrificed a lot of his time and happiness just to be there for Jungkook, so it was only understandable that he wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Jungkook decided he would live in Seoul, with the guy who left them and mistreated him, just because he wanted more.
Jungkook remembers that talk clearly, trying to explain that he was only going to Seoul so he could work and send more money to them.
“You can work here! You just graduated, Kookie! Give it time! You’ll find something.” , he had said. Namjoon said that he didn’t want Jungkook near that man. That it was dangerous and it would be too humiliating but, when he found out that Jungkook had already contacted their father, asking him to help him find a job there, Namjoon didn’t take it lightly.
He was mad.
Really mad.
Jungkook had already seen Namjoon angry but it was never towards him. His brother usually protected him but, that night, the younger one could see how fiercely Namjoon would fight. It was expected, really. The man had dealt with a lot even though he was only 24 at the time.
And Jungkook knew where he was coming from but he was young and frustrated so he said that Namjoon was being selfish… And that’s when he saw fire in Namjoon’s eyes.
Actually, thinking about it later, Jungkook realized that he wasn’t being selfish at all. He was overprotective and felt betrayed.
Jungkook had come out as a bisexual not that long before; Namjoon wanted to protect him from his father and Jungkook could see it now.
He wanted to protect his younger brother from his father’s words, lack of care and rudeness. Especially because Namjoon himself had experienced it, the rejection and cruel words from his father when he told him that he was gay.
“I should call Jin-hyung and tell him that I’m here but I’m not staying.”
“Son… I’m sure your brother will be happy that you’re here.”
And Jungkook wanted to stay, damn, he took weeks off to be around his family and friends - but he didn’t want to ruin Namjoon’s day.
“I- I don’t know.” He sighed.
“I’ll let you think about it but can you stay? At least for today?”
Jungkook couldn’t say no to that - and he didn’t want to.
“Of course, but I can’t promise to stay until the weekend.”
His mother finished washing a glass and turned around so she could take a really good look at him.
“Let’s not worry about it right now, ok?” Jungkook nodded and pressed another kiss on her forehead. “There’s another thing-“
“Oh, God. What now?”
“I mean, you probably know by now that Min Yoongi will be there, right?” Jungkook blinked a few times. It’s been a really long time since he last heard that name. He thought about Yoongi a lot, often enough to make him embarrassed about it, but in Seoul no one knew about him. Not even Taehyung.
“I expected that, yes. He’s Hyung's best friend.” Jungkook said, his own words tasting a bit bitter. “Is he doing well?” He asked and his mother smiled, knowingly.
“He is… But I think you should ask him yourself.”
“He’s another person that doesn’t want to see me, mom. We stopped talking since, uhm, since the last time I came to Busan.”
His mother frowned at that. “Oh.”
“We, uhm, we talked at that time. It didn’t end well. Well, it was over when I decided to move out so, yeah.” Jungkook bit his lower lip. A lot had happened between him and Yoongi but his mother didn’t need to know all the details.
And he didn’t really want to remember it but Busan screamed and it was his past that it was yelling.
— x —
Taehyung was helping Jungkook with the rooms, changing sheets and all, when he said:
“So we are not staying.”
It was not a question.
“I don’t know. I mean, why would I?”
“You were invited, Kookie. Your brother-in-law invited you. He wants you here and, who knows, maybe your brother does too.” Jungkook shifted his gaze to the pillow in his hands.
“I’ll call Jin-hyung.”
“That’s good.”
“Who were you talking to earlier?”
“A few magazines were reaching out to me asking about your time off.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “They wanted to know where you were and what you were doing. I didn’t say anything, of course, but called the company to let them know people are already after you.”
“Just great.”
“Your fans are chill, though. A lot of them are happy that you’re finally taking time for yourself.” That made Jungkook smile. His fans were an important part of his career. He could never thank them enough.
“That’s good to know.”
“Yeah…” Taehyung put the pillow in his hand over the bed. “Jungkook, can I ask you something?”
That piqued the younger one’s attention. Taehyung, most of the time, didn’t beat around the bush a lot. He usually just says what he wants to say whether Jungkook likes it or not.
“Yeah, sure?”
“Who is Yoongi?” Jungkook shot up a look at Taehyung.
“What?”
“I’m sorry. Earlier when I finished the call I was going to help out in the kitchen but you were talking about your brother and I didn’t want to intrude… And then Yoongi was mentioned.”
Oh, God.
“He’s my ex.”
Taehyung widened his eyes and stared at Jungkook for a while.
“Like… Ex-boyfriend?”
“Yes”
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend in Busan. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend at all.”
“What do you mean? I’ve dated Yugyeom and JunHo.”
“You were not boyfriends. You kissed one and hooked up with the other. That was pent-up sexual tension, not a relationship.”
Jungkook shrugged at that. “Well, now you know.”
“Why did you never tell me?”
“It’s in the past, Tae.”
“Jeon Jungkook.”
“What?”
“Tell me.”
“There is nothing to tell. I moved out. We broke up. The end.”
“Why do you sound bitter?”
“It didn’t end well.”
“Huh.” Tae huffed. “And you’re going to see him.”
“I guess?”
“Do I need to punch him?” Jungkook shook his head fast.
“No!”
“You said it didn’t end well. I assumed he was a jerk-“
“I moved out. We had a… Thing… when I came back to visit and we broke up for real. A revival moment and then we crushed everything. Terrible.”
Taehyung waited for more but Jungkook could only offer silence. He didn’t want to dwell on it much - even if he couldn’t stop thinking about it. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s ok. It’s been years. I think we might be ok by now.”
“I want to see him, come on, show me pictures of him.” Jungkook chuckled at that. He was thankful that Tae tried to lighten up the mood.
“Why do you think I have pictures of him? He’s my ex, Taehyung.”
Taehyung crossed his arms and he got a bit closer. “Don’t you? Really?”
Of course he had. Jungkook didn’t gather up the courage to delete them.
“I may have one or two.” Taehyung smiled widely.
“I knew it!”
“Ugh. Alright.”
Jungkook picked up his phone from his pocket and searched for the album he made with photos of them together. It’s been months since the last time he opened it. He knew what he would find there and he felt all those emotions bubbling up once again.
He saw the first picture. The oldest one. Yoongi and Jungkook were holding hands shyly and a shy smile on both of their faces. Jungkook stretched his hand and gave the phone to Taehyung.
“Is it really ok if I see it?” The blonde asked softly. “If you saved it, it must be special, huh?”
“Don’t just assume things, I have photos with everyone.”
“Uhm…” Taehyung, then, grabbed the phone and started looking. “He’s cute.” He said after scrolling and Jungkook could see how he was restraining himself from talking; he was being cautious. “His name is Min Yoongi, right?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook couldn’t just stand there and watch Taehyung analyze all of those pictures; They hold way too much meaning for him.
Jungkook got back on making the bed and putting the old sheets away when Tae exclaimed:
“Damn it. Of course, his instagram is going to be private.”
“Taehyung!”
“What?! I just wanted to see an updated picture. He is indeed pretty cute.” He added and gave the phone back to Jungkook. “Why don’t you delete those?”
“I just said it. I have photos of everyone. Don’t know. I just like keeping them.”
“Do you have any pictures with Junho? Or Yugyeom?”
“Not with Junho, no. We were way too careful about it. Yugyeom hangs out with me and the others from time to time so, yes, of course.”
“O-kay.”
“Tae, I mean it. It’s not like that. Yoongi and I, we are over. That’s it. You’ll meet him eventually, if we stay, and if you do please don’t embarrass me.”
“I would never.” Jungkook side-eyed him at that. “I mean, I totally would! But I can see you really mean it so, of course, I wouldn’t.”
“Thank you. Now, come, let’s do this quickly. I want to see some of my friends, introduce you to them.”
– x –
“Ok. Fine. Cool. Cool. Cool. Jeon Jungkook is standing right in front of me. Cool.”
“Hobi, please, calm down!” Jimin exclaimed and Jungkook couldn’t hold back his laughter. “And you knew I was his friend, why are you so surprised?”
“It’s really nice to meet you, Hoseok-ssi.” Jungkook bowed a little and Hoseok was clearly starstruck.
“It’s really nice to meet you too!” He looked at Jimin. “Why didn’t you tell me I would meet him today, I was not ready!”
“I didn’t know!” Jimin then, finally, looked at Jungkook. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I managed to take some days off and got on the road. This is Taehyung, by the way.” Jungkook introduced his friend who smiled widely at them - especially at Hoseok. Jimin noticed it too and looked back at Jungkook.
“Hello. It’s really nice to meet you.” Taehyung’s eyes were fixed on Hoseok when he said that and then he shifted a bit and looked at Jimin. “Jimin-ssi, I heard a lot about you. Jungkook talks about you quite a lot, you know?”
“Is that right?”
“Taehyung lies quite a lot, don’t trust him.”
“I don’t!” He argued. “I mean it, Jimin-ssi. He’s quite fond of everyone he loves here in Busan.”
“Ok. Alright. No more of that.” Jungkook said and Jimin laughed. His laughter was so contagious that everyone laughed along. Hoseok’s laughter was louder than everyone’s.
And that’s when Jimin finally launched himself to hug his best friend. Jungkook missed hugs and missed his friends and family so much.
That hug lasted too little. He wanted to hug for more time.
“I’m really glad that you’re here, Kookie. You’ve been working non-stop for months now. I’m sorry I couldn’t go to any of your concerts from the last tour. I was just so busy with Hobi. We, uhm, I guess I didn’t tell you, but we opened a dance academy? I guess? It’s still really small and we have only a few students. Hobi here still teaches in another school to help with income but, yeah, I think it will work out.”
Jungkook looked at him, so proud. “Hyung! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“I guess I was so caught up in the moment? It’s been only a couple of months and there is tons of work to do.” Jimin said and shared a look with Hoseok who just nodded. They looked stunning together. Jimin was sporting honey blond hair and Hoseok had some blond strands in his brown hair. They were hip.
“Yeah, managing is not that easy.” Hobi added.
“If you’d like, I could help with a thing or two?” Taehyung asked directly at Hobi. “This is exactly what I do, actually. I’m Jungkook’s babysitter and conscience but I also majored in business and management.”
“You’re not my babysitter. I don’t need a babysitter.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “And, yeah, hyung! Taehyung is really great! We don’t have much time here in Busan but I’m sure he could help you with a thing or two.”
“Oh, no. You’re on vacation, both of you. You just said that you didn’t want to think about work.” Jimin shifted a bit; this time he was looking at Tae.
“I promise, it’s ok. If you want my help, just let me know. I’ll gladly do it.” Taehyung’s big smile was so kind and he was genuinely trying to help. His heart was way too big sometimes. Hoseok seemed impressed by his sudden offer - and thankful; Jimin bit his lower lip while looking at their interactions; he looked excited but not that excited.
“We can talk more about it another day? Maybe tomorrow?”
“Great.” Taehyung agreed. “I’m going to grab a drink. Do you guys want something?”
“A beer for me is fine, Tae.” Jungkook said.
“I’ll go with you!” Hoseok promoted and Jimin blinked a few times, clearly wondering if he should go as well. He looked conflicted.
“Wine for you, Jiminie?” He asked and Jimin nodded after sighing.
“Yes, please.”
“I’ll be right back.” Hoseok said close to Jimin’s ear and Jungkook didn’t fail to notice the reddish on his cheeks.
The younger one waited a few seconds and made sure that Taehyung and Hoseok were not close when he asked:
“So… How long?” Jungkook asked and Jimin frowned. His eyes followed the other two at the bar.
“How long? What? The business? I just told you, a couple of months. I have some pictures but I took them before the renovation.” Jimin finally looked at Jungkook to answer.
“No, hyung, how long have you been completely and utterly in love with Hoseok-ssi?”
And that seemed to pick his attention enough for him to really pay attention to what he was saying. “W-what are you talking about? What? No!” The blonde one stuttered and his voice was high-pitched enough to sound suspicious.
“Hyung…”
“I mean it, we-“
“Taehyung clearly took an interest in him and you’re telling me you’re not affected at all? You just shoot daggers at Tae with your eyes!”
“What? I did not!”
“You did!” Jungkook shifted his position a little and looked at the bar once again. Taehyung was laughing at something Hoseok was saying and they looked cute together. It was the first time Jungkook saw Tae being kind of shy near someone. “He seems like a good guy. Hoseok-ssi.”
“I’m not in love with him.” Jimin stated in a serious tone but Jungkook knew his best friend well enough. He didn’t want to pressure him but he could see it.
“If you say so, I believe you.”
“And, besides, Hoseok is clearly having fun with Taehyung-ssi. I’d hate to get in the middle of that .” Jimin sulked and stopped talking when he saw both men getting back to the table.
Taehyung placed Jungkook’s beer and his cocktail over the table and Hoseok did the same, putting down his red funny cocktail and Jimin’s white wine.
“Here it is, Minie.”
“Thank you, Hobi-hyung.”
“I was just asking Jimin how did you two meet.” Jungkook lied and Hoseok smiled widely.
“I love that story! Did Jimin tell you he got drunk that night? He always forgets to tell this part.”
“I did not!” Jimin denied it vehemently.
“He didn’t tell me that part.”
“Ugh, I’ll tell you. Jimin broke up with his boyfriend-“
“Not my boyfriend.” He rolled his eyes.
“Ok, he broke up with his situationship or whatever and went out to dance with some friends. Friends we have in common. I found him on the dance floor being the most absolutely beautiful man ever but, as soon as he started drinking, he started getting sad. The next time I saw him, he was crying outside the club and it was so cinematic and so dramatic.”
“Oh, God.” Jimin said and Jungkook chuckled. He was really invested. “The guy was not even that important, I just got sad.”
“Well, I found him outside and he was so sad. He recognized me and asked if I was going home. I said yes and he said that he would come with me. At first, I thought he was joking because we barely knew each other… Well, he was not. He really went to my place and I was scared he was thinking about, you know… There was no mood for it. He didn’t. He genuinely asked me to distract him, to put on a movie so we could watch it while talking trash. It was so fun!” Hoseok’s eyes were shining so bright. Jungkook wondered if Hoseok also was into Jimin. “He got drunk on wine and passed out on my couch.”
“When we woke up the next day it was like we were already friends for years… And then I found out he already knew Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Right? It was meant to be. I was supposed to meet Jimin that night. I’m sure.” Jungkook nodded at that and Jimin was a blushing mess near the older one.
“Hyung believes in destiny, in fate. I’m not that keen on that stuff.” Jimin grimaced and Hoseok nudged his shoulder.
“I believe too!” Taehyung exclaimed and it was true, he really did believe in fate, destiny, zodiac signs, prophecies, everything.
“See? We’re not all skeptical like you, Jiminie.”
“I don’t know if I believe it or not but there are things that can’t be only coincidence, right?”
“See!” Hoseok pointed to Jungkook, happiness all over his face.
“Tell me, Hoseok-ssi, what’s your zodiac sign?” Taehyung asked and drank a bit.
“ Hyung. ” He corrected Taehyung, who looked a bit confused. “You can call me hyung .”
Taehyung widened his eyes and felt warm all over. “Alright, hyung.” He said and stared right at Hoseok’s eyes.
Jungkook saw the scene unfold in front of him and, again, it’s been a while since he saw Taehyung that invested in someone right up from the start. It was clear that Tae was a charming man but he was shooting his shot - and it seemed to be working.
Jungkook would feel giddy about it in any other circumstances. At that moment, he got a bit worried because of Jimin who sighed and had a smile stamped on his face trying to blend into the conversation.
— x —
“Have you seen Namjoon yet?” Hoseok asked.
“Not yet. Don’t know if he wants to see me, for that matter.”
“What do you mean?”
“We don’t get along that well.” Jungkook replied and Hoseok frowned at that. He shifted his gaze to Jimin.
“Really? I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t talk about you a lot but in the few times he did, he sounded a bit proud.”
“Hobi…” Jimin warned him.
Jungkook could understand that. It was a sensitive topic between their group of friends.
“Uhm, I don’t know about that.” He said and drank more of his beer.
“And what about the others? Jin-hyung?”
“Yoongi-hyung?” That was Jimin’s voice and he sounded really curious.
“I texted Jin-hyung but I don’t know if he’s seen it yet. He didn’t reply.” He looked at Jimin. “And, no, I haven’t talked to Yoongi since that day.” He said simply and he couldn’t fail to notice the looks Taehyung and Hoseok shared.
Jungkook was a bit surprised, to be honest.
He never told Taehyung about his relationship with Yoongi. Right. He just mentioned it briefly a few hours ago.
But he thought Hoseok would know about it, especially after they said that Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin and Namjoon were really close.
“Why do I feel there’s gossip in that sentence?” Hoseok asked Jimin who chuckled lightly.
“I mean, there kind of is.” Jimin said and he looked at Jungkook.
“We dated. We broke up.” That seemed to surprise Hoseok a lot.
“What?! So you’re the ex!” Hoseok exclaimed way too loudly. Jimin tried covering his mouth, shushing him. They didn’t want to bring much attention to Jungkook. People didn’t recognize him yet - or the ones who did were trying to give him his privacy. “Sorry.” He whisper-yelled.
“I can’t believe you’re Hyung's ex! He mentions you quite a lot-“
“Hoseok!” And that was when he realized he was spilling some tea.
“No, I want to know!” Jungkook argued and, this time, Jimin rolled his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I can’t expose my best friend like that.”
“You were about to!”
“Not anymore. Sorry.”
“So… You guys broke up and never spoke to each other again?” Taehyung asked.
“Yes. Kind of.”
“Kind of? Why are you being so secretive?” Taehyung asked.
“We’re not talking about this here. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about anything else, please.” He pleaded and the others nodded. They could all understand that talking about an ex-boyfriend in an open place could cause trouble; people could overhear them.
“Are you staying for the wedding?”
“Don’t know yet.” He shrugged and finished his drink. “Seokjin invited me but apparently Namjoon doesn’t know and I’m not here to mess up with his day. It is his party. Theirs.” He paused. “I’ll try talking to them today or tomorrow and we’ll see.”
“If you want me to be there…” Jimin offered.
“Thank you, hyung.”
“Now, tell me, how was touring? What’s new in Seoul?” Jungkook smiled at that.
He needed that.
Easy conversation.
— x —
Yoongi was organizing the table when Namjoon looked up from his phone and said:
“Hyung, mom is asking me to go there.”
“Is everything ok?” Seokjin asked, stopping what he was doing: writing thank you notes for the people who would go to their party.
“She said that everything’s fine but she has something important to tell me.” He was reading and texting back while talking.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Jin asked but Namjoon shook his head.
“No need to. You’re busy with all these notes and I’m sure everything’s fine. I’ll be back quickly, I promise.” He stood up and his eyes were still glued to the phone. “I’ll grab my bike.”
Yoongi looked at him. “We finished the ducks, right?”
“ Swans. Yeah, now Jin is writing the notes and I’ll sign it too later, when I get back.” He paused. “We have to write a few more things to put over the tables but I think the majority is done. Why?”
“I’ll take you there. I have my car outside.”
“No, hyung. I can go by bike. It’s close. We live literally four blocks down-“
“But it will take you longer and it’s fucking Sunday, Namjoon. You should rest a bit today as well.”
“Yes, he’s right, love.” Jin said. “Go with Yoongi. This way you can get there faster. What if it’s something serious?”
“If it were serious, she would’ve called me. My family… We call on emergencies.” Namjoon put his keys in his pocket. “I’ll go with you. But what about you resting a bit? As you said, it’s Sunday.”
“Joon-ah, I told you, I made my schedule clear so I could help out with the wedding. I’m all yours this week… And I’m also really happy for you two so I’ll make myself available to drive you up and down around town if you need me to. Only this week.”
That made the couple laugh.
“You’re too soft on Namjoon.” Jin pointed out with a smile.
“I’m soft because you two are getting engaged and I want to be remembered when you guys choose a best man.”
“Yoongi, we appreciate all your help but you don’t have to-”
“I know. I’m offering. Let’s go.” He concluded and Namjoon realized it was useless trying to talk.
“Text me!” Seokjin yelled before they left the apartment.
— x —
Jimin and Hoseok went home when the clock hit 7 pm - after Taehyung successfully got Hoseok’s number.
Jungkook and the guys spent quite a lot of time talking in that bar and no one seemed to notice that Jeon Jungkook was sitting there. He was happy that he could enjoy an outing with his friends - and act like an ordinary person.
“Hyung, I want to walk for a bit.” Jungkook said and adjusted his black hat. He could sense Taehyung’s hesitation. “What?”
“Don’t know if this is a good idea, huh? Inside the bar was ok. Here, outside, we can bump into some of your fans.”
Jungkook knew he was right.
“You’re right.” He paused. “But I want to. Please.”
“Jungkookie, we don’t have bodyguards with us-“
“ Please .”
Taehyung looked at the time and agreed, finally.
“Alright, but if we bump into any fan, we’re going home. People tend to call other people and it can get messy, crowded. You hate crowds.”
He did hate crowds. Once, in the airport, things got really messy, as Taehyung would say and a huge crowd waited for him. He had just got out of a really long flight and the bodyguards weren’t enough to contain the fans. He got really scared and when he made it inside the car after being literally pushed by his team, he couldn’t breathe properly. He had a panic attack and cried without even noticing. Definitely not a fan of crowds anymore.
“Alright. Ok.” He quickly agreed and they continued walking, passing by the street they were supposed to go to get to Jungkook’s house.
“I have lots of questions for you.” Jungkook looked at him. “Don’t look at me like that! You never told me about your relationships in Busan - I guess I assumed you’ve never had anyone here.”
“Of course, you’d assume that.”
“You never talked about it. Actually, you barely talk about Busan at all.”
“I… it’s true. I don’t know. Everybody has a place that knows them a little too well. A place they are desperate to leave behind but that is also a place that comforts us. Busan is like that for me. It’s weird, even hating it, something in me loves it so.”
“Were you?”
“Huh?”
“Desperate to leave?”
“We didn’t have what to eat, Tae. I wanted to leave it all behind so I could go after a better life. I love a lot of things about this city and I love the people a lot but I needed money. My family needed money.” Taehyung nodded at that; he heard that story more than once. “I know it might seem like I’m ungrateful or that I was running away-“
“I don’t think that.” Taehyung interrupted him. “Never thought of you like that, you know?”
“Yoongi said that I was running away. Namjoon-hyung too.”
“They were probably hurt that you were leaving.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I do want to know more about him, you know? But not out here.”
“Alright.”
“Why did you never tell me?” Jungkook only shrugged.
“Don’t know. Guess I didn’t want to talk about it.” He looked at Tae. “But I’m glad that you know now; that I can talk about it with you too.”
“I’m happy about it as well.”
“And… Hoseok?” The name was enough to make Taehyung blush. “What?”
“He’s cute, right?”
“You’re really interested!”
“I kind of am. I mean, I’m sorry, I know we are not here for this but I just felt- I mean, Jimin is really nice! I’m really happy to finally meet him and I’m happy that you got to see your best friend but I just… Hoseok is something else. He’s really polite, funny and I’m not hallucinating, I think he was flirting with me as well.”
“Tae, it’s fine. You can do whatever you want to.” The older one smiled a lot at that.
“And how was seeing Jimin after so long?”
“We talk often, actually. Of course, I missed him but, gladly, we text quite a lot - when I do have the time.” Jungkook looked at Taehyung. “I talk quite often to Jin-hyung as well. To know how everyone’s doing.” He paused. “I mean, I do have just a little time but I try to keep in contact with everyone… And with my fans.”
Taehyung got closer to Jungkook and shook his shoulder. “You’re almost a superhuman, you know that?” Jungkook shook his head. “Do you want to go to the beach?”
“No, not yet. I do want to go but not today.”
“Ok.”
They walked for a few minutes and Taehyung suggested they go home.
Jungkook agreed. He wasn’t hungry enough to have dinner but he wanted to spend some more time with his mother. He missed her a lot and being near her made him feel safe, made him feel like he never left at all.
Don’t get Jungkook wrong, he loved his life and his fans - and even the fame - but whenever he was reminded of how simple his life could be, he got a little nostalgic.
They walked calmly and Jungkook noticed a blue car outside the house but didn’t pay too much attention to it.
He should have.
Maybe if he had paid more attention to it, he would have at least prepared himself to meet some guests.
“Jungkook-ah?” That was it. That was enough to take his breath away, to freeze him in place.
He hadn’t heard that voice for so long.
Too long.
It was Yoongi.
Jungkook’s brain short-circuited for a second there and his mind glitched a bit. Yoongi was standing in front of him, his hair was shiny and longer than before, his clothes were not that huge for his frame anymore - still pretty baggy though.
He was surprised, maybe just as much as Jungkook.
“Hello.” Taehyung’s voice resonated behind Jungkook who was still shocked. His friend bowed at Yoongi. Yoongi widened his eyes a bit more.
“Oh. Oh. ” The older one shifted his gaze between the two men in front of him. “Hello. I’m Min Yoongi.”
“Wow… It’s been a long time, huh?” Jungkook started and tried calming down his own nerves.
“Yeah.” Yoongi said and wandered his eyes through Jungkook’s whole body. Of course, he didn’t live under a rock, he saw Jungkook on TV and sometimes his pictures popped up on social media but he wasn’t ready to see him in person. He was even more beautiful than he remembered: Jungkook’s hair was longer, he had cute bangs, and was wearing a loose black shirt with really baggy pants.
The guy near Jungkook was also really handsome, he noticed. For a second there he wondered if he was Jungkook’s boyfriend or something but he schooled himself to not think about it.
He shouldn’t.
He couldn’t.
“Uhm, I didn’t know you were in town.” It was true. Yoongi kind of expected Jungkook to show up to the party but not that soon.
“Seokjin-hyung invited me and I had some days off so I came. What about you? What are you doing here?”
Yoongi grimaced at that. “Namjoonie is talking to your mother. I gave them a bit of privacy.”
“Namjoon-hyung is here.” Jungkook repeated to make sure he heard it right.
“Yeah. I drove him here.” Yoongi knew that their relationship was not easy, not anymore. When Yoongi met Jungkook, the brothers were inseparable and it was even a whole drama when Jungkook and Yoongi realized they liked each other; both of them were afraid of Namjoon’s reaction. They didn’t want to let him down and breaking the news that his little brother was in love with his best friend - and vice versa - was challenging. “Seokjin-hyung is not here, though.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
Uncomfortable silence.
Jungkook looked around while biting his bottom lip nervously.
“I have to get something upstairs and charge my phone so I’ll let you two talk.” Before Jungkook could stop Taehyung, he quickly left.
“He seems nice.” Yoongi said and Jungkook frowned a bit.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm… and really handsome.” Yoongi didn’t know why he was saying that but anything was better than awkward silence with Jungkook, even talking about his possible new boyfriend.
Jungkook nodded. Taehyung was indeed very handsome. A pang of jealousy hit his heart. “How have you been?” He decided to ask. He didn’t know, that was true. He promised himself he wouldn’t stalk Yoongi’s social media and all he knew about Yoongi was what his mom let slip during their phone calls. She knew quite a lot of what was going on in his life since he was still Namjoon’s best friend.
She was always gushing about him - after making sure by questioning Jungkook that he was fine with her talking about him. Apparently, Yoongi was still really present in her life as well and helped her when Namjoon couldn’t.
It was expected, Jungkook would say.
Yoongi took care of people, that was his thing.
He took care of his friends, he took care of Jungkook when Jungkook was just Namjoon’s brother and when they dated. He also took care of his family from afar.
Yoongi sent money to his parents back in Daegu; his father didn’t work anymore due to health problems and Yoongi moved to Busan so he could work and send money back.
Jungkook went to Seoul with the same motive: to give his family a better life, send them money… Maybe that was why Yoongi never questioned his decision.
Jungkook remembered him asking Jungkook if he was sure of it, if it would help as he wanted to and even Yoongi saying that he wished Jungkook stayed… But he never asked Jungkook to stay. He knew they were struggling and he knew by experience that Jungkook had no other choice.
He woke up from his own memories when his ex-boyfriend said:
“Ok, I guess? I don’t even remember what happened these past years but I guess everything’s fine.” Yoongi smiled. “You?”
“Busy.” He said, simply.
“Sure. Of course.” He smiled. “Sometimes I forget that you’re a superstar now…”
“Yeah… Kind of.”
It was so awkward.
Jungkook hated how awkward they were around each other… But was there any other way?
“Should I go there? And talk to Namjoon-hyung?”
“I… don’t know?” Yoongi answered. “I mean, he’ll find out you’re in town sooner or later so, yeah, maybe you should.”
Jungkook bit his lower lip again and, this time, Yoongi’s eyes stared right at his bottom lip with the two new piercings he had there. They were new.
Actually, Jungkook looked different. More mature… And Yoongi didn’t know what to do. He felt his heart race just as much as it did back when they were boyfriends.
“Right. I will be back in a minute. Don’t want to intrude on their talk if it’s something that doesn’t include me-“
“You’re back.” It was Namjoon’s voice, startling both of them. Jungkook looked at the door he was coming from, followed by his mother.
“For a few days, yeah. Hello, hyung.”
Namjoon’s hard stare made Jungkook fidget a bit. “Mom was telling me you showed up earlier today and that you’re going to stay for the party.”
“Yeah, and a bit more. I have two weeks off, so…”
“I didn’t invite you, you know that, right?” He asked in a cold stone tone and Jungkook felt so vulnerable under those eyes.
“I thought you did. Mom told me earlier that she and Seokjin-hyung were the ones who thought it would be a good idea to have me here for the party.” He shifted his gaze to his own hands. “I don’t want to disrupt your party or make you uncomfortable on a day you should celebrate and be happy so if you’re not comfortable, I’ll get back to Seoul.”
Yoongi and his mother gasped loudly at that.
“Jungkookie-“
“No, mom, if he doesn’t want me here, I won’t stay. It’s hyung’s day, hyung’s party, hyung’s engagement…”
“I don’t want you here.” Namjoon said, his tone unsure. “But you can stay. Mom, Seokjin and… others want you here.”
Jungkook looked up at him and Namjoon didn’t look like he meant those words. When they fought, years ago, Namjoon looked fierce, mad. Now, he could see only sadness in his face and it made Jungkook’s heart clench.
“You don’t want me here.” Jungkook repeated and shifted his gaze to Yoongi. The last time he visited, Namjoon said the same thing… But, at that time, Yoongi was by his side at the end of the night saying that Namjoon didn’t mean it - that he was still hurt.
Well, Jungkook was also hurt at that time and was getting hurt at that very moment.
If anything, Jungkook was really strong; that he could assure.
And, this time, there would be no one to hug him through the sadness he was feeling.
“I should get going. Jinnie is waiting for me.”
“Hyung?” He called. “Namjoon-hyung.” That made Namjoon stop to look at him. The older brother was already putting on his shoes.
“Yeah?”
“I was hoping we could talk… not today, if you don’t want to… But someday? Any time this week?”
“What about?”
Well, that was a hard question.
Jungkook wanted to talk about them, primarily. He wanted nothing more than to get along with his brother once again but he also wanted to update Namjoon about his life, share his little victories and dreams. He hoped Namjoon would be interested in sharing things with him as well.
It’s been years since they had a nice conversation and Jungkook wanted that so bad.
He was so tired of fighting.
“A lot.” He answered, simply. Namjoon frowned at that.
“Don’t think it’s a good idea, Jungkook. I have nothing to talk to you about.”
That hurt just like a slap and his mother intervened:
“You should listen to what he has to say, Namjoon-ah!” She said to her oldest son. Namjoon shook his head.
Jungkook knew he was stubborn, but Namjoon was even worse.
“I don’t-”
“Please.” Jungkook asked. “I have a lot to say.”
A few years back, Namjoon only gave him the cold shoulder and didn’t even look at him. This time. he seemed to be pondering.
“I’ll see what I can do. I’m not promising anything and this is not me wanting to talk to you. You left us to live with that son of a bitch- Ugh. You know what? I don’t want to talk about it. I’m leaving.” He looked at his mother who was by Jungkook’s side: “Bye, mom. Love you.”
Yoongi, who was standing there, watching the whole scene unfold, knew he should follow Namjoon but he was still digesting the fact that Jungkook was there.
“Hyung?” Namjoon called him and he nodded fast.
“Bye, Mrs. Jeon. It’s always good to see you.” He smiled and Jungkook was looking at him. Jungkook’s expression was a mix of surprise and sadness with a bit of frustration. It hurt Yoongi to see him like this - not that Yoongi would ever admit it out loud. “Bye, Jungkook.”
Jungkook gulped and waved at them, not trusting himself to be able to let out a word without stuttering or sobbing.
When both men left the house, Jungkook felt the urge to hug his mother tightly, just like he did when he was a teenager and was overwhelmed.
“Baby, I’m sure Namjoon will talk to you soon enough. He’s not angry anymore, huh? I can tell.” Jungkook kept hugging her, not looking at her eyes.
“Were you mad at me when I decided to leave? Are you still?” That question made her put a tiny distance between them so she could look at his eyes.
“I was never angry or disappointed at you. I was sad that you were leaving, of course, but that was because I’m your mother and I want all my children close and I felt like I failed you somehow-“
“You didn’t-“ He tried to interrupt her but she kept going.
“I just wanted what was best for you and your brother and I wished I was able to provide for you like a good mother. It made me sad that I wasn’t capable of it. It made me sad that I would have to watch you go and know that you had a reason, a motive. It made me sad that you had to contact your father about it. I know, really, I know that it wasn’t easy for you.” She caressed his face while talking and Jungkook was crying silently. He tried to hold back the tears but he couldn’t.
“I guess I never gathered up the courage to ask these questions, nor the courage to talk to Namjoon-hyung… I was always afraid of the answer.”
“You have nothing to worry about, I promise. I love you very much and, if anything, I’m really proud of you and I think you are so talented and so loved. I’m really happy for you, Kookie.” She put a strand of his hair behind his ear. “And I’m sure your brother misses you too and that he’s proud of you as well. He’s just hurt. Your father did break his heart more than once, you know that.” She added. “I was always so scared that your father would treat you badly. He’s not a good person. Not anymore.”
“He didn’t. I lived with him only for a few months so we didn’t share much, you know that. At the company, he always tries to be the cool dad in front of the others because I’m famous now but I don’t fall for it, mom. I’m not there because I think he’s better than you. I didn’t leave because of that. I went to Seoul because I needed a job. I looked for him because I need a place to sleep and I’m his son.”
“I know, Kookie. I know that.” She dried the tears on his cheeks. “Your brother and I, we just tried to protect you from anything and everything so letting you go there, it was nerve-wrecking. Do you remember how I called you almost every hour?” She chuckled. “I was so worried. Seoul is really big and you were there on your own.”
“I appreciate all the worry and, indeed, it wasn’t easy at first. I told you. I cried on the phone quite a lot.” He laughed a bit and cried a bit more. His mom was still caressing his face.
“You’re really brave and I know for a fact that your brother loves you. He seems tough and all but he’s just trying to preserve his own heart from breaking again.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m happy you’re staying and I’ll make sure that Namjoonie talks to you.”
“No need to. I’ll manage it.” He assured her and used the back of his hand to dry the tear stains on his face.
“Kookie, answer me one thing, does your father know that you’re bisexual?”
Jungkook shook his head.
“No. No one knows in Seoul. I mean, Tae does and I guess the guys I kissed? Not that many…”
“I’m sorry you have to hide.” Jungkook shrugged. “And… Yoongi was here:”
“Yes, he was.”
“How are you feeling?”
“It’s so weird. I guess I’ll always feel a bit overwhelmed near him.”
“I think he still loves you-“
“Mom!” He interrupted. “No. Don’t do this. We broke up, we fought. I still cherish what we lived but I don’t know. It wouldn’t work. I have my head on other things… Please, don’t.”
“You never told me why you broke up, the second time…”
“We just don’t click anymore, I think. It’s fine. We talked for a bit and I’m sure we can be friendly. He is a really nice guy, after all.”
“He is.”
“I should go upstairs and see Tae. He gave me privacy to talk to Yoongi-hyung and I’m sure he’s waiting to know if he can come down.”
His mother nodded and pressed another kiss on his cheek. “Go do that. I’ll fix some snacks so we can eat and talk. I want to know more about your life and update you.”
— x —
“Ok. Talk.” Yoongi said after parking the car.
“I have nothing to talk about.” He mumbled.
“You’re sad, Namjoon.” Yoongi stated the obvious. He was not feeling that great either; just saw Jungkook after so long but he had Namjoon to worry about.
“I just don’t get it. Why is he here?”
“He was invited.” Yoongi repeated what he heard. “And he still looks up to you. You know that.”
“You always defend him.” Namjoon sighed. “Everyone does.”
“I-… Uhm, your brother and I, we have history and we have our divergences but when you two had that really big fight, I was still with him.” Namjoon gave him a pointed look. “Kind of.” He sighed again. “Look, I know it’s not what you think and that you think he had other choices but I talked to him and I know he did what he did to help you and your mother. You know I always understood his reasons. I know you have every right to be hurt about it and that it goes beyond only moving to another city but I always understood him… I’m sure one day you’ll see it too. You’re too stubborn sometimes.” He paused. “That kid loves you a lot, Namjoon-ah.”
“I… I miss him, you know? But it’s so hard! Before I could only hate him and get angry but, now, thinking about him, seeing him, it makes me sad and frustrated.”
“Maybe that’s a really good time for you to talk.”
“I have too much on my plate this week already, hyung. And I need to talk to Jinnie. He invited Jungkook and didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sure he was thinking about you and what’s best for you.”
“I need to talk to him either way.” He concluded.
“Ok. I might get home and get some rest as well-“
“What about you, hyung?” Namjoon interrupted. “We were talking about me and I know it’s really hard on you to see him too.”
“I don’t know.” Yoongi said, true to what he was feeling.
“I didn’t expect to see him today. I knew Jin-hyung had invited him. Yeah, sorry about that.” He added quickly when Namjoon widened his eyes at him. “But it’s hard. We… everything is too much when it comes to what I felt for Jungkook.”
“I’m here if you want to talk.” Namjoon assured. “I’m always here.”
“I know, thank you. Now go inside. I have to go and you have to talk to hyung. Please don’t get in any petty fights. We have an engagement party to run and I already rented my clothes.” He tried to let the air a bit lighter and Namjoon smiled at him.
“We won’t fight, hyung. We never do.”
And it was true; even when mad or sad, they always talked things through and never got really angry at the other.
Yoongi envied that. When he dated Jungkook, they had petty fights and useless arguments here and there. They were too intense.
Always intense.
“If you want to stay, you can use the spare room.” Namjoon suggested and Yoongi shook his head. He really needed to go home. “Alright.”
— x —
Jungkook spent some quality time with his mother and Taehyung. When she went to sleep, Tae asked what happened between him, Yoongi and Namjoon.
The younger one told the story to his best friend and added:
“I’ll tell you all about Yoongi and I, but not tonight. Ok?”
“Alright, you don’t need to rush to tell me. You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t feel like it, please, don’t worry.”
“I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you.”
Taehyung’s boxy smile was on full display when he said: “For someone so confident, so strong and so full of himself, you’ve been quite insecure ever since we arrived in Busan.”
“I am not.” He replied.
“Don’t worry, Kookie. I know that there are things that are too hard to say. Don’t worry.”
Taehyung was indeed an angel.
Jungkook would’ve gone crazy without him. He knew that, for sure.
When Jungkook lay on his bed, he couldn’t fall asleep. He was too overwhelmed with everything that happened. It was far late in the night when he decided to act on instinct and maybe do something dumb.
He grabbed his phone and searched for Yoongi’s name. He bit his lower lip, hesitating, before pressing the button to call him.
As soon as it rang once, he regretted it. It was so late; it was the middle of the night already - and he should just text like a normal person-
“ Hello? ” The raspy and groggy voice made something churn inside Jungkook’s stomach. It’s been so damn long.
“Yoongi-hyung?”
“J ungkook? Is that you? ” A pause. “ Oh, shit. ”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called. It’s late-“
Yoongi was wide awake at that moment. “ No, no. What happened? Is everything ok? Are you ok? ”
“O- fuck, this feels so stupid. I’m sorry. I just… couldn’t sleep.”
“ You couldn’t sleep and decided to call me? ”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry.”
“ What did you have in mind? ”
“To be honest, I wanted to meet up.”
“ You want to see me ? ”
“I want to talk. I was afraid you’d never talk to me again but earlier you were-“
“ Meet me in twenty minutes? ” Yoongi suggested not letting Jungkook finish his sentence.
“Oh, ok.” Jungkook was very surprised to hear that so he just agreed. The first thought was that he shouldn’t go meet anyone in the middle of the night without telling Taehyung - or his agency - but he couldn’t care less. “Where?”
— x —
That was such a terrible idea. Yoongi knew from the start.
He woke up with the call and asked to meet Jungkook on a whim. He shouldn’t make decisions right after waking up.
He and Jungkook decided to meet in a secluded place - their usual place.
And that was terrible because it held way too many memories.
“Were you waiting for long?” Jungkook showed up out of nowhere. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier, with a black comfy jacket over his black oversized shirt.
“Five minutes, I guess?”
Jungkook nodded at that and took place by sitting on Yoongi’s side. They had this safe space in the middle of the Busan beach. They used to call it their spot.
The beach barely had any lights and the ocean was pitch black; the only way to clearly see it was because of the moon’s reflection and the wave’s movements. “I’m sorry for calling this late.” The younger one repeated and Yoongi shook his head.
“It’s ok.”
Jungkook bit his lower lip. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, hyung.”
“You have to stop apologizing and I mean it.” Yoongi warned him and adjusted himself a bit. “Why did you call? What did you want to talk about? I can’t lie, I was surprised.”
“I don’t really know.” He confessed and it was true. Jungkook knew he wanted to hear Yoongi’s voice. That was it. “It’s just… We saw each other early and it didn’t feel like you hated me and I thought I should talk to you.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You kind of did, back then.”
“I never did.” Yoongi reassured him.
And it was true, they had a story, yes, but Yoongi never hated him. Not even for a second.
And that was the problem.
“I thought that you were the one disappointed in me.” Yoongi mumbled and Jungkook grimaced at that. He used the word ‘disappointed’ in their last fight and it clearly stuck with Yoongi.
“I was immature as fuck.” Jungkook shifted his gaze back to the ocean.
“We both were, Jungkook.”
They met years ago when Yoongi moved to Busan and met Namjoon. It didn’t take long for them to be friends and Jin joined right after - when Namjoon successfully asked him out.
At that time, Jungkook saw Yoongi here and there and it didn’t take long for him to have a crush on the man.
Jungkook was 18 when he had his first kiss.
And it was with Yoongi.
They were talking outside and it was Namjoon’s birthday. The younger one confessed that he had never kissed anyone and boldly asked Yoongi to kiss him. He had nothing to lose, after all. His crush on Yoongi was totally one-sided, he thought.
At first, Yoongi was hesitant - especially because Jungkook was Namjoon’s brother - but he quickly answered that he didn’t believe Jungkook had never kissed anyone, and asked if it was a kind of prank.
It wasn’t.
They kissed and Jungkook explained after that he didn’t feel like kissing just anyone but that he did want to kiss Yoongi and that was why he asked. Yoongi was flattered and got shy about it, which was really surprising since the one who always melted around the other was Jungkook.
But that wasn’t the kiss that stuck.
That wasn’t the kiss they thought about when reminiscing about their relationship was their second one - the one that started it all.
They didn’t address their very first kiss often and Yoongi wondered if Jungkook regretted it. It took them a year - without talking about it - to change their dynamics. Suddenly they were a lot flirty with each other and things were easy, and chill.
Jimin noticed it and mentioned it to Jungkook who denied it vehemently. He always said that it was friendly flirting and that if Yoongi was interested in him at all he would have acted on it after their shared kiss.
Jungkook had turned 19 and they were doing a chill movie night at Jungkook’s house. Jimin, Jin and Namjoon were also there.
Jungkook decided to be bold and follow Jimin’s tips (he really didn’t know why he decided to follow Jimin’s idea, really). When Yoongi got up in the middle of the movie, Jungkook shared a look with Jimin and followed the older one right away.
“Hyung? Do you need help?”
“I was just getting some water and I’ll take these candies there- What?”
“Can we talk?” That took Yoongi off guard and he just nodded.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Am I a bad kisser?” He asked and Yoongi wasn’t expecting it. “I mean, we kissed once and then we pretended it never happened and we flirted and it’s fun but you never kissed me again. Am I a bad one?”
And Yoongi laughed.
Laughed hard.
At that moment, Jungkook felt embarrassed. He, for a second there, thought that Yoongi was making fun of him - which would never happen because Yoongi was the kindest soul ever -.
“Jungkook, no, you’re not a bad kisser. I assure you.”
“Then why?”
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you kiss me again?” He asked and Yoongi crossed his arms after putting the glass of water over the counter.
“Why didn’t you?” The older one asked.
Jungkook was not that experienced but he could see that Yoongi was flirting, teasing.
“Do you want me to?” He asked to be sure because Jungkook didn’t want to misunderstand that.
Yoongi didn’t answer him; he placed a kiss on his lips right away. A tiny peck.
That was when everything changed for them.
They kissed more and went back to finish the movie.
At first, in their relationship, they tried to keep it on the low, afraid of Namjoon’s reaction but they were too affectionate and Jin once said: “You’re not fooling anyone. I’m sure Namjoon knows about you two already.”
And he did.
He asked them separately what was going on. Gladly, both of them were serious about it and all Namjoon said was: “I hope you don’t hurt each other.”
The relationship was good, great even.
They understood each other and they made time for dating even though both of them were busy. Yoongi was producing and writing music - and also working as a handyman here and there. He had to pay for rent and he also sent money back to his family in Daegu… That’s exactly the reason why he was the first to be really understanding when Jungkook mentioned that he wanted to move to work and get more money to help his family.
Jungkook’s family needed money and that was a fact. They had to pay for the house, food and other necessities and his mother couldn’t work at that moment due to back pain. Namjoon did his best teaching and Jungkook pitched all the money he made but it was not enough. Never enough.
He didn’t find a job in what he studied and the part-time jobs were not doing it for him.
So he decided to leave.
At that time, they tried a long-distance relationship but it only went on for a few weeks. When Yoongi visited Jungkook in Seoul, he was scared of their future and when they talked, they broke up.
Right before debuting, Jungkook went back to Busan to spend some time with his family and friends and he and Yoongi had a moment again.
They slept together after so long and there was so much love surrounding them but when Jungkook told the older one that he loved him, that he still loved him, Yoongi didn’t say it back.
Yoongi never said that he loved Jungkook, not even when they were dating - he had this commitment issue and Jungkook tried to understand but, at that moment, it hurt a lot more. They were pouring their feelings back on the table and Jungkook felt wronged.
Their relationship was over, so Yoongi was trying to save his own heart. A revival moment wouldn’t make them boyfriends again. Jungkook was about to debut and possibly become famous, that was what Yoongi thought. He knew that once he debuted his private life would be hard, that his sexuality couldn’t be out in the open and that they needed more time to mend their relationship - if they wanted to. A night together was not enough.
That’s why he refused when Jungkook suggested between breakfast that they try a long-distance relationship again; that he wanted to be with Yoongi and that he would try his best.
Jungkook was hurt and it even made their previous sweet night a bit bitter. “Yeah, sorry, forgot you don’t love me enough for it.” He spat those words out of frustration and it turned into a huge fight. Their last one.
“… So…” Yoongi said taking them both out from memory lane.
“I’m comfortable around you. I don’t feel comfortable around many people these days.”
“It must be hard, being famous.”
“Some days are bad, some days are great… But overall I pretty much love what I do, hyung. I really do. I never imagined the life I’m living now, I think I never thought I was capable but it turned out that I am and I am good at it as well.”
“Who would’ve thought?” He smiled at Jungkook.
“Maybe we could write a song together.” Jungkook thought about that a lot.
“Did you wake me up to say that you wanted to work with me?” Yoongi laughed and yawned, making Jungkook shyly shift his gaze.
“Of course, not. I just mentioned. I called you because I wanted to.” He proudly answered. “And I’m happy you agreed.” He paused and looked at Yoongi once again. “I’m really happy. I don’t get to be myself around people and I know it’s been a while but, as I said, I feel comfortable.”
“I- I regret a lot of what we said the last time we talked. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I’m sorry too.” Jungkook put his arms around his own body. “I guess we just had a lot going on, huh?”
“We kind of still do?” Yoongi asked and Jungkook adjusted his hair by shaking his head and smiled.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
That was a relief to both of them. They knew they had a lot to unpack but to know that the other didn’t hold bad grudges after everything… That was a huge relief.
“Do you want to tell me what’s new here in Busan?”
And they fell into easy conversation, respecting their distance (sadly).
Yoongi told him all about Jimin, Hoseok, Jin and Namjoon. He told him all about the city and the songs he’s been making… “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much.”
“I like to hear you talking and I get the updates and gossip. Jimin doesn’t gossip this much. You always were the one who knew everything.”
“I’m too observant and Jimin doesn’t talk about himself because he’s always afraid of making a fool of himself.” The tone in Yoongi’s voice was soft and caring.
Jungkook had a lot to ask as well but he decided to follow Yoongi’s lead, letting him speak about what he feels ok to share with Jungkook.
He was curious about Yoongi’s family and all but he knew they were a soft spot and maybe Yoongi wouldn’t share so soon.
“Uhm, it’s almost 5.” Yoongi stated and bit his lower lip a few times before asking: “Shouldn’t you go home? I’m sure your boyfriend won’t be pleased to know you left him alone to meet your ex in the middle of the night.” Yoongi teased and Jungkook took his time to understand.
“Boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend- Oh! Taehyung?” Yoongi only stared at him. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s probably the reason why I haven’t gone crazy yet in Seoul. He’s my friend, he works with me as well. Not my boyfriend, no.” Jungkook was stuttering a bit and talking fast. “He’s interested in Hoseok-ssi.” That caught Yoongi off guard and he looked genuinely surprised. Yoongi shifted his gaze back to the ocean, the sky a bit lighter now; clearly the sun would rise at any moment.
“So… You’re single.”
Jungkook smiled at the corner of his lips. He didn’t stop looking at Yoongi when he answered: “Single, yes. I guess I’m trying to focus on my career… so, yes, single. You?”
“I’m single as well.” He answered and finally gathered up the courage to look back at Jungkook’s eyes.
It was so hard being near Jungkook; every word made him feel something.
And Jungkook could say the same about Yoongi.
“That’s good to know, I guess.” Jungkook mumbled.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” That was all Jungkook let himself say about it and Yoongi chuckled.
“You’re… You’re a tease.” He paused. “Insufferable.”
Jungkook laughed at that, eyes still lingering at Yoongi. The older one was looking at his own hands and shook his head to adjust his own hair against the ocean breeze that was hitting their faces.
It was hard to stare at Jungkook and not feel a wave of nostalgia, of feelings bubbling up. Feelings Yoongi couldn’t really name. And he shouldn’t feel like that, especially because it’s been years since they broke up and years since Yoongi realized he was not boyfriend material, per se.
He had a really huge problem with commitment and he was mature enough to acknowledge that now. Showing vulnerability was hard for him. Sharing what he was feeling was even harder but he tried to be better at least with his friends and family, allowing himself to feel whatever he needed to feel and to say out loud what was inside his heart.
He was not like that during his relationship with Jungkook, though. He, of course, shared a lot with him; they were boyfriends after all… but Yoongi never told him he loved him even though they dated for a long time.
Yoongi did love him. Immensely. Greatly.
He never told him because he sabotaged himself quite a lot when he was a bit younger.
Yoongi decided to stare at Jungkook’s big eyes and, at that moment, he didn’t know exactly what he was feeling but, yeah, he couldn’t pretend that seeing his last boyfriend right in front of him after so long wasn’t messing up with his head.
“Should we go? The sun is almost up.” He blurted out after getting rid of the whole thinking ordeal inside his brain.
He was tired and he shouldn’t dwell on the past when he was like that.
Yoongi was known for not making good decisions when tired.
“Or… We could stay a bit longer.” He shrugged and the confident aura around Jungkook subdued a bit. “It’s been a long time since the last time I enjoyed the sunrise. Whenever I’m filming something in the crack of dawn, I barely pay attention to it.” Jungkook suggested it because he didn’t want the night to end.
The talk was nice and chill and he also knew they had a lot to unpack; they greatly avoided any sensitive topics that night.
Yoongi knew it wasn’t a great idea; Again, he did not make good decisions when tired.
Staying out with his flirty famous ex-boyfriend, losing sleep because of it… It didn’t sound like a good idea.
“Sure, we can stay a bit longer.” He gave in.
Jungkook smiled at him widely, his nose scrunching a bit and the wind blowing strongly and pushing his hair back.
“Thank you, hyung.” The younger one bit his lower lip, trying not to look that much excited about it.
They don’t talk much after that, just a few words here and there. None of them wanted to ruin the moment.
Jungkook was being cautious. He didn’t think he would have a moment with Yoongi that soon. He didn’t think he would talk to Yoongi at all; he spent years thinking that Yoongi hated him a lot - and Yoongi probably thought the same about Jungkook.
The younger one definitely didn’t expect them to meet, have a comfortable conversation, and even tease and flirt along the way.
It was so weird.
So liberating.
The last time they saw each other was also the last time they talked.
Mixed feelings.
They were missing each other; Jungkook was homesick; They slept together; They talked; They fought; They broke up for real.
Jungkook could easily remember every word they threw at each other during their fight. Accusations, insecurities, jealousy and sadness float everywhere.
Yoongi didn’t remember it to that extent. He tried really hard to forget all about that night. He didn’t but at least he forgot the hurtful part.
The sun was already up when Jungkook started to overthink. Usually he was very impulsive and that was the whole reason they were together at that moment in the first place.
But he also always managed to overthink his decisions after some time.
“What are we doing?” His thoughts were interrupted by Yoongi’s voice. They looked at each other and Jungkook felt his heart beating faster, skipping a beat. Yoongi’s hair - now longer than what Jungkook remembered from a few years back - was getting messy because of the wind. His eyes were shining, the sunlight making his skin glow lightly. He was clearly tired and dark circles under his eyes - not really evident but, for Jungkook who was just that close, it was visible.
If Yoongi wasn’t looking straight at Jungkook, the younger one would think he was talking to himself.
“Does it matter?” He answered after a while.
And that was it.
It didn’t matter.
They were enjoying being around the other and even knowing they still had a lot to unpack, a lot of unsaid things, they were living the moment.
Yoongi also took his time watching Jungkook’s features. His cheeks were lightly blushing. Sunkissed. His hair made him look softer than usual and his eyes hold a lot of secrets in them.
And Jungkook was right.
It didn’t matter.
He would leave in a few days.
Yoongi would move on just like the last time.
It didn’t matter, did it?