Work Text:
KANAYA: You And Dirk Really Are Similar
KANAYA: In A Plethora Of Aspects
KANAYA: Its Almost Hilarious
KANAYA: And Deeply Unnerving Sometimes
ROSE: Well, obviously, Kanaya. I share roughly fifty percent of his slime DNA, it’s not terribly surprising that Dirk and I are pretty alike.
KANAYA: I Know But I Can Tell It Makes You Squirm A Little
ROSE: I am my own person, you know. Not just some shallow ectobiological amalgamation of Dirk and Roxy.
KANAYA: Okay
ROSE: …
ROSE: Stop looking at me like that!
KANAYA: Hahaha
ROSE: Okay, fine. If I’m Dirk, then who does that assign you as??
ROSE: Jake English?
KANAYA: What
ROSE: Are you going to start spewing nonsensical and silly archaic words to woo me next?
KANAYA: What
KANAYA: No
ROSE: I can already picture it. Oh my god.
ROSE: Gee willikers, Rose-
ROSE: No, no, wait.
ROSE: Gee Willikers Rose Might I Say Youre Looking Like A Swanky Vixen Under The Moonlights Shine
ROSE: The Bees Knees Even
KANAYA: Oh My God
KANAYA: Stop
ROSE: Hogswallop! Im Sweating Bullets Here My Oh My
ROSE: Forgive Me Rose For Being A Bit Dizzy With A Dame
ROSE: You Are Just The Cats Pajamas
KANAYA: Urgh
KANAYA: Shut Up!!!!!
ROSE: Would you mind if I initiated a necking session with you, my sweetest honeysuckle? Don’t sell me a dog now.
KANAYA: You Didnt Do The Stupid Voice This Time
ROSE: Because I’m being genuinely serious here.
ROSE: And without verbosity or ridiculous sounding outdated phrases getting in the way,
ROSE: Do you want to make out?
KANAYA: Obviously
KANAYA: Anything To Cease Your Horrendous Amalgamation Of A Jake Slash Me Impression
ROSE: !!!
KANAYA: *snog*
ROSE: *smooch*
KANAYA: …
KANAYA:
KANAYA: Gadzooks Rose
ROSE: !
KANAYA: Im Starting To Feel Pretty Peckish And If You Arent So Plum Tuckered Out
ROSE: (hehehe)
KANAYA: Id Be So Entirely Pleased If I Could Go Out To Lunch On Your Deliciously Positioned Neck
ROSE: Wait, has Jake ever said gadzooks?
KANAYA: Oh Hoofbeast Feathers
KANAYA: In All Honesty I Think We Should Resume To Giving You A Green Gown
ROSE: Is my wife being overtaken by the abominable spirit of a Jake splinter? Oh, this is horrible.
ROSE: Please stop.
KANAYA: And Piercing This Hogshead Like A Couple Of Naughty Dullards I Dont Know
KANAYA: I Suddenly Loathe Myself A Lot More Now
ROSE: Mm, there’s my darling.